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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Cayley's Adventures, by Grant Allen
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Cayley's Adventures
+
+Author: Grant Allen
+
+Illustrator: Gordon Browne
+
+Release Date: January 15, 2010 [EBook #30970]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from
+scanned images of public domain material from the Google
+Print project.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
+
+
+
+
+RECENT FICTION
+
+
+By A. CONAN DOYLE.
+
+  A Duet. 6s.
+
+By GRANT ALLEN.
+
+  An African Millionaire. 6s.
+  Linnet. 6s.
+
+By FREDERIC BRETON.
+
+  True Heart. 6s.
+  'God Save England!' 6s.
+
+By M. P. SHIEL.
+
+  Contraband of War. 6s.
+  The Yellow Danger. 6s.
+
+By GRAMMONT HAMILTON.
+
+  The Mayfair Marriage. 6s.
+
+By HALDANE MACFALL.
+
+  The Wooings of Jezebel Pettyfer. 6s.
+
+By F. C. CONSTABLE.
+
+  Aunt Judith's Island. 6s.
+  Morgan Hailsham. 6s.
+
+By FRANK NORRIS.
+
+  Shanghaied. 3s. 6d.
+
+By MARIE CONNOR LEIGHTON and ROBERT LEIGHTON.
+
+  Convict 99. 3s. 6d.
+  Michael Dred, Detective. 3s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+London: GRANT RICHARDS, 1899
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: ALL AGOG TO TEACH THE HIGHER MATHEMATICS.--_See page_
+142.]
+
+
+
+
+MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
+
+
+BY
+GRANT ALLEN
+
+
+WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY GORDON BROWNE
+
+
+London
+GRANT RICHARDS
+9 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.
+
+1899
+
+
+_Printed April 1899_
+_Reprinted July 1899_
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+   1. THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD LADY                       1
+
+   2. THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS _ATTACH�_                     29
+
+   3. THE ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN                       59
+
+   4. THE ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT                   85
+
+   5. THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER                     115
+
+   6. THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN                      141
+
+   7. THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNOBTRUSIVE OASIS                         170
+
+   8. THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN                       199
+
+   9. THE ADVENTURE OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH                     225
+
+  10. THE ADVENTURE OF THE CROSS-EYED Q.C.                           252
+
+  11. THE ADVENTURE OF THE ORIENTAL ATTENDANT                        281
+
+  12. THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE                  305
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  All agog to teach the higher mathematics                _Frontispiece_
+
+  I am going out, simply in search of adventure                        5
+
+  Oui, Madame; Merci Beaucoup, Madame                                  8
+
+  Excuse me, I said, but I think I can see a way out of your
+    difficulty                                                        10
+
+  A most urbane and obliging Continental gentleman                    17
+
+  Persons of Miladi's temperament are always young                    20
+
+  That succeeds? the shabby-looking man muttered                      24
+
+  I put her hand back firmly                                          30
+
+  He cast a hasty glance at us                                        35
+
+  Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?          37
+
+  Circumstances alter cases, he murmured                              43
+
+  Miss Cayley, he said, you are playing with me                       50
+
+  I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill                           54
+
+  I was going to oppose you and Harold                                56
+
+  He kept close at my heels                                           63
+
+  I was pulled up short by a mounted policeman                        64
+
+  Seems I didn't make much of a job of it                             66
+
+  Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch                                    78
+
+  How far ahead the first man?                                        82
+
+  I am here behind you, Herr Lieutenant                               83
+
+  Let them boom or bust on it                                         86
+
+  His open admiration was getting quite embarrassing                  91
+
+  Minute inspection                                                   96
+
+  I felt a perfect little hypocrite                                   99
+
+  She invited Elsie and myself to stop with her                      103
+
+  The Count                                                          107
+
+  I thought it kinder to him to remove it altogether                 110
+
+  Inch by inch he retreated                                          113
+
+  Never leave a house to the servants, my dear!                      118
+
+  I may stay, mayn't I?                                              123
+
+  I advanced on my hands and knees to the edge of the precipice      129
+
+  I gripped the rope and let myself down                             132
+
+  I rolled and slid down                                             136
+
+  There's enterprise for you                                         145
+
+  Painting the sign-board                                            148
+
+  The urbane old gentleman                                           150
+
+  He went on dictating for just an hour                              153
+
+  He bowed to us each separately                                     156
+
+  I waited breathless                                                164
+
+  What, you here! he cried                                           168
+
+  He read them, cruel man, before my very eyes                       174
+
+  'Tis Doctor Macloghlen, he answered                                177
+
+  Too much Nile                                                      181
+
+  Emphasis                                                           184
+
+  Riding a camel does not greatly differ from sea-sickness           186
+
+  Her agitation was evident                                          189
+
+  Crouching by the rocks sat our mysterious stranger                 194
+
+  An odd-looking young man                                           201
+
+  He turned to me with an inane smile                                205
+
+  Nothing seemed to put the man down                                 210
+
+  Yah don't catch me going so fah from Newmarket                     214
+
+  Wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?                                216
+
+  Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong
+    fellah                                                           220
+
+  I am the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar                              227
+
+  Who's your black friend?                                           232
+
+  A tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly                   238
+
+  It went off unexpectedly                                           245
+
+  I saw him now the Oriental despot                                  248
+
+  It's I who am the winnah!                                          250
+
+  He wrote, I expect you to come back to England and marry me        254
+
+  It was endlessly wearisome                                         256
+
+  The cross-eyed Q.C. begged him to be very careful                  262
+
+  I was a grotesque failure                                          265
+
+  The jury smiled                                                    270
+
+  The question requires no answer, he said                           272
+
+  I reeled where I sat                                               279
+
+  The messenger entered                                              284
+
+  He took a long, careless stare at me                               291
+
+  I beckoned a porter                                                293
+
+  You can't get out here, he said, crustily                          296
+
+  We told our tale                                                   298
+
+  I have found a clue                                                303
+
+  I've held the fort by main force                                   306
+
+  Never! he answered. Never!                                         308
+
+  We shall have him in our power                                     312
+
+  Victory!                                                           316
+
+  You wished to see me, sir?                                         320
+
+  Well, this is a fair knock-out, he ejaculated                      325
+
+  Harold, your wife has bested me                                    329
+
+
+
+
+I
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD LADY
+
+
+On the day when I found myself with twopence in my pocket, I naturally
+made up my mind to go round the world.
+
+It was my stepfather's death that drove me to it. I had never seen my
+stepfather. Indeed, I never even thought of him as anything more than
+Colonel Watts-Morgan. I owed him nothing, except my poverty. He married
+my dear mother when I was a girl at school in Switzerland; and he
+proceeded to spend her little fortune, left at her sole disposal by my
+father's will, in paying his gambling debts. After that, he carried my
+dear mother off to Burma; and when he and the climate between them had
+succeeded in killing her, he made up for his appropriations at the
+cheapest rate by allowing me just enough to send me to Girton. So, when
+the Colonel died, in the year I was leaving college, I did not think it
+necessary to go into mourning for him. Especially as he chose the
+precise moment when my allowance was due, and bequeathed me nothing but
+his consolidated liabilities.
+
+'Of course you will teach,' said Elsie Petheridge, when I explained my
+affairs to her. 'There is a good demand just now for high-school
+teachers.'
+
+I looked at her, aghast. '_Teach!_ Elsie,' I cried. (I had come up to
+town to settle her in at her unfurnished lodgings.) 'Did you say
+_teach_? That's just like you dear good schoolmistresses! You go to
+Cambridge, and get examined till the heart and life have been examined
+out of you; then you say to yourselves at the end of it all, "Let me
+see; what am I good for now? I'm just about fit to go away and examine
+other people!" That's what our Principal would call "a vicious
+circle"--if one could ever admit there was anything vicious at all about
+_you_, dear. No, Elsie, I do _not_ propose to teach. Nature did not cut
+me out for a high-school teacher. I couldn't swallow a poker if I tried
+for weeks. Pokers don't agree with me. Between ourselves, I am a bit of
+a rebel.'
+
+'You are, Brownie,' she answered, pausing in her papering, with her
+sleeves rolled up--they called me 'Brownie,' partly because of my dark
+complexion, but partly because they could never understand me. 'We all
+knew that long ago.'
+
+I laid down the paste-brush and mused.
+
+'Do you remember, Elsie,' I said, staring hard at the paper-board,' when
+I first went to Girton, how all you girls wore your hair quite straight,
+in neat smooth coils, plaited up at the back about the size of a
+pancake; and how of a sudden I burst in upon you, like a tropical
+hurricane, and demoralised you; and how, after three days of me, some of
+the dear innocents began with awe to cut themselves artless fringes,
+while others went out in fear and trembling and surreptitiously
+purchased a pair of curling-tongs? I was a bomb-shell in your midst in
+those days; why, you yourself were almost afraid at first to speak to
+me.'
+
+'You see, you had a bicycle,' Elsie put in, smoothing the half-papered
+wall; 'and in those days, of course, ladies didn't bicycle. You must
+admit, Brownie, dear, it _was_ a startling innovation. You terrified us
+so. And yet, after all, there isn't much harm in you.'
+
+'I hope not,' I said devoutly. 'I was before my time, that was all; at
+present, even a curate's wife may blamelessly bicycle.'
+
+'But if you don't teach,' Elsie went on, gazing at me with those
+wondering big blue eyes of hers, 'whatever will you do, Brownie?' Her
+horizon was bounded by the scholastic circle.
+
+'I haven't the faintest idea,' I answered, continuing to paste. 'Only,
+as I can't trespass upon your elegant hospitality for life, whatever I
+mean to do, I must begin doing this morning, when we've finished the
+papering. I couldn't teach' (teaching, like mauve, is the refuge of the
+incompetent); 'and I don't, if possible, want to sell bonnets.'
+
+'As a milliner's girl?' Elsie asked, with a face of red horror.
+
+'As a milliner's girl; why not? 'Tis an honest calling. Earls' daughters
+do it now. But you needn't look so shocked. I tell you, just at present,
+I am not contemplating it.'
+
+'Then what _do_ you contemplate?'
+
+I paused and reflected. 'I am here in London,' I answered, gazing rapt
+at the ceiling; 'London, whose streets are paved with gold--though it
+_looks_ at first sight like muddy flagstones; London, the greatest and
+richest city in the world, where an adventurous soul ought surely to
+find some loophole for an adventure. (That piece is hung crooked, dear;
+we shall have to take it down again.) I devise a Plan, therefore. I
+submit myself to fate; or, if you prefer it, I leave my future in the
+hands of Providence. I shall stroll out this morning, as soon as I've
+"cleaned myself," and embrace the first stray enterprise that offers.
+Our Bagdad teems with enchanted carpets. Let one but float my way, and,
+hi, presto, I seize it. I go where glory or a modest competence waits
+me. I snatch at the first offer, the first hint of an opening.'
+
+Elsie stared at me, more aghast and more puzzled than ever. 'But, how?'
+she asked. 'Where? When? You _are_ so strange! What will you do to find
+one?'
+
+'Put on my hat and walk out,' I answered. 'Nothing could be simpler.
+This city bursts with enterprises and surprises. Strangers from east and
+west hurry through it in all directions. Omnibuses traverse it from end
+to end--even, I am told, to Islington and Putney; within, folk sit face
+to face who never saw one another before in their lives, and who may
+never see one another again, or, on the contrary, may pass the rest of
+their days together.'
+
+I had a lovely harangue all pat in my head, in much the same strain, on
+the infinite possibilities of entertaining angels unawares, in cabs, on
+the Underground, in the a�rated bread shops; but Elsie's widening eyes
+of horror pulled me up short like a hansom in Piccadilly when the
+inexorable upturned hand of the policeman checks it. 'Oh, Brownie,' she
+cried, drawing back, 'you _don't_ mean to tell me you're going to ask
+the first young man you meet in an omnibus to marry you?'
+
+[Illustration: I AM GOING OUT, SIMPLY IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE.]
+
+I shrieked with laughter, 'Elsie,' I cried, kissing her dear yellow
+little head, 'you are _impayable_. You never will learn what I mean. You
+don't understand the language. No, no; I am going out, simply in search
+of adventure. What adventure may come, I have not at this moment the
+faintest conception. The fun lies in the search, the uncertainty, the
+toss-up of it. What is the good of being penniless--with the trifling
+exception of twopence--unless you are prepared to accept your position
+in the spirit of a masked ball at Covent Garden?'
+
+'I have never been to one,' Elsie put in.
+
+'Gracious heavens, neither have I! What on earth do you take me for? But
+I mean to see where fate will lead me.'
+
+'I may go with you?' Elsie pleaded.
+
+'Certainly _not_, my child,' I answered--she was three years older than
+I, so I had the right to patronise her. 'That would spoil all. Your dear
+little face would be quite enough to scare away a timid adventure.' She
+knew what I meant. It was gentle and pensive, but it lacked initiative.
+
+So, when we had finished that wall, I popped on my best hat, and popped
+out by myself into Kensington Gardens.
+
+I am told I ought to have been terribly alarmed at the straits in which
+I found myself--a girl of twenty-one, alone in the world, and only
+twopence short of penniless, without a friend to protect, a relation to
+counsel her. (I don't count Aunt Susan, who lurked in ladylike indigence
+at Blackheath, and whose counsel, like her tracts, was given away too
+profusely to everybody to allow of one's placing any very high value
+upon it.) But, as a matter of fact, I must admit I was not in the least
+alarmed. Nature had endowed me with a profusion of crisp black hair, and
+plenty of high spirits. If my eyes had been like Elsie's--that liquid
+blue which looks out upon life with mingled pity and amazement--I might
+have felt as a girl ought to feel under such conditions; but having
+large dark eyes, with a bit of a twinkle in them, and being as well able
+to pilot a bicycle as any girl of my acquaintance, I have inherited or
+acquired an outlook on the world which distinctly leans rather towards
+cheeriness than despondency. I croak with difficulty. So I accepted my
+plight as an amusing experience, affording full scope for the congenial
+exercise of courage and ingenuity.
+
+How boundless are the opportunities of Kensington Gardens--the Round
+Pond, the winding Serpentine, the mysterious seclusion of the Dutch
+brick Palace! Genii swarm there. One jostles possibilities. It is a land
+of romance, bounded on the north by the Abyss of Bayswater, and on the
+south by the Amphitheatre of the Albert Hall. But for a centre of
+adventure I choose the Long Walk; it beckoned me somewhat as the
+North-West Passage beckoned my seafaring ancestors--the buccaneering
+mariners of Elizabethan Devon. I sat down on a chair at the foot of an
+old elm with a poetic hollow, prosaically filled by a utilitarian plate
+of galvanised iron. Two ancient ladies were seated on the other side
+already--very grand-looking dames, with the haughty and exclusive
+ugliness of the English aristocracy in its later stages. For frank
+hideousness, commend me to the noble dowager. They were talking
+confidentially as I sat down; the trifling episode of my approach did
+not suffice to stem the full stream of their conversation. The great
+ignore the intrusion of their inferiors.
+
+[Illustration: OUI, MADAME; MERCI BEAUCOUP, MADAME.]
+
+'Yes, it's a terrible nuisance,' the eldest and ugliest of the two
+observed--she was a high-born lady, with a distinctly cantankerous cast
+of countenance. She had a Roman nose, and her skin was wrinkled like a
+wilted apple; she wore coffee-coloured point-lace in her bonnet, with a
+complexion to match. 'But what could I do, my dear? I simply _couldn't_
+put up with such insolence. So I looked her straight back in the
+face--oh, she quailed, I can tell you; and I said to her, in my iciest
+voice--you know how icy I can be when occasion demands it'--the second
+old lady nodded an ungrudging assent, as if perfectly prepared to admit
+her friend's rare gift of iciness--'I said to her, "C�lestine, you can
+take your month's wages, and half an hour to get out of this house." And
+she dropped me a deep reverence, and she answered: "_Oui, madame; merci
+beaucoup, madame; je ne desire pas mieux, madame._" And out she
+flounced. So there was the end of it.'
+
+'Still, you go to Schlangenbad on Monday?'
+
+'That's the point. On Monday. If it weren't for the journey, I should
+have been glad enough to be rid of the minx. I'm glad as it is, indeed;
+for a more insolent, upstanding, independent, answer-you-back-again
+young woman, with a sneer of her own, _I_ never saw, Amelia--but I
+_must_ get to Schlangenbad. Now, there the difficulty comes in. On the
+one hand, if I engage a maid in London, I have the choice of two evils.
+Either I must take a trapesing English girl--and I know by experience
+that an English girl on the Continent is a vast deal worse than no maid
+at all: _you_ have to wait upon _her_, instead of her waiting upon you;
+she gets seasick on the crossing, and when she reaches France or
+Germany, she hates the meals, and she detests the hotel servants, and
+she can't speak the language, so that she's always calling you in to
+interpret for her in her private differences with the _fille-de-chambre_
+and the landlord; or else I must pick up a French maid in London, and I
+know equally by experience that the French maids one engages in London
+are invariably dishonest--more dishonest than the rest even; they've
+come here because they have no character to speak of elsewhere, and they
+think you aren't likely to write and enquire of their last mistress in
+Toulouse or St. Petersburg. Then, again, on the other hand, I can't wait
+to get a Gretchen, an unsophisticated little Gretchen of the Taunus at
+Schlangenbad-- I suppose there _are_ unsophisticated girls in Germany
+still--made in Germany--they don't make 'em any longer in England, I'm
+sure--like everything else, the trade in rustic innocence has been
+driven from the country. I can't wait to get a Gretchen, as I should
+like to do, of course, because I simply _daren't_ undertake to cross the
+Channel alone and go all that long journey by Ostend or Calais, Brussels
+and Cologne, to Schlangenbad.'
+
+'You could get a temporary maid,' her friend suggested, in a lull of the
+tornado.
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady flared up. 'Yes, and have my jewel-case
+stolen! Or find she was an English girl without one word of German. Or
+nurse her on the boat when I want to give my undivided attention to my
+own misfortunes. No, Amelia, I call it positively unkind of you to
+suggest such a thing. You're _so_ unsympathetic! I put my foot down
+there. I will _not_ take any temporary person.'
+
+I saw my chance. This was a delightful idea. Why not start for
+Schlangenbad with the Cantankerous Old Lady?
+
+Of course, I had not the slightest intention of taking a lady's-maid's
+place for a permanency. Nor even, if it comes to that, as a passing
+expedient. But _if_ I wanted to go round the world, how could I do
+better than set out by the Rhine country? The Rhine leads you on to the
+Danube, the Danube to the Black Sea, the Black Sea to Asia; and so, by
+way of India, China, and Japan, you reach the Pacific and San Francisco;
+whence one returns quite easily by New York and the White Star Liners. I
+began to feel like a globe-trotter already; the Cantankerous Old Lady
+was the thin end of the wedge--the first rung of the ladder! I proceeded
+to put my foot on it.
+
+[Illustration: EXCUSE ME, I SAID, BUT I THINK I SEE A WAY OUT OF YOUR
+DIFFICULTY.]
+
+I leaned around the corner of the tree and spoke. 'Excuse me,' I said,
+in my suavest voice, 'but I think I see a way out of your difficulty.'
+
+My first impression was that the Cantankerous Old Lady would go off in a
+fit of apoplexy. She grew purple in the face with indignation and
+astonishment, that a casual outsider should venture to address her; so
+much so, indeed, that for a second I almost regretted my well-meant
+interposition. Then she scanned me up and down, as if I were a girl in a
+mantle shop, and she contemplated buying either me or the mantle. At
+last, catching my eye, she thought better of it, and burst out laughing.
+
+'What do you mean by this eavesdropping?' she asked.
+
+I flushed up in turn. 'This is a public place,' I replied, with dignity;
+'and you spoke in a tone which was hardly designed for the strictest
+privacy. If you don't wish to be overheard, you oughtn't to shout.
+Besides, I desired to do you a service.'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady regarded me once more from head to foot. I did
+not quail. Then she turned to her companion. 'The girl has spirit,' she
+remarked, in an encouraging tone, as if she were discussing some absent
+person. 'Upon my word, Amelia, I rather like the look of her. Well, my
+good woman, what do you want to suggest to me?'
+
+'Merely this,' I replied, bridling up and crushing her. 'I am a Girton
+girl, an officer's daughter, no more a good woman than most others of my
+class; and I have nothing in particular to do for the moment. I don't
+object to going to Schlangenbad. I would convoy you over, as companion,
+or lady-help, or anything else you choose to call it; I would remain
+with you there for a week, till you could arrange with your Gretchen,
+presumably unsophisticated; and then I would leave you. Salary is
+unimportant; my fare suffices. I accept the chance as a cheap
+opportunity of attaining Schlangenbad.'
+
+The yellow-faced old lady put up her long-handled tortoise-shell
+eyeglasses and inspected me all over again. 'Well, I declare,' she
+murmured. 'What are girls coming to, I wonder? Girton, you say; Girton!
+That place at Cambridge! You speak Greek, of course; but how about
+German?'
+
+'Like a native,' I answered, with cheerful promptitude. 'I was at school
+in Canton Berne; it is a mother tongue to me.'
+
+'No, no,' the old lady went on, fixing her keen small eyes on my mouth.
+'Those little lips could never frame themselves to "schlecht" or
+"wundersch�n"; they were not cut out for it.'
+
+'Pardon me,' I answered, in German. 'What I say, that I mean. The
+never-to-be-forgotten music of the Fatherland's-speech has on my infant
+ear from the first-beginning impressed itself.'
+
+The old lady laughed aloud.
+
+'Don't jabber it to me, child,' she cried. 'I hate the lingo. It's the
+one tongue on earth that even a pretty girl's lips fail to render
+attractive. You yourself make faces over it. What's your name, young
+woman?'
+
+'Lois Cayley.'
+
+'Lois! _What_ a name! I never heard of any Lois in my life before,
+except Timothy's grandmother. _You're_ not anybody's grandmother, are
+you?'
+
+'Not to my knowledge,' I answered, gravely.
+
+She burst out laughing again.
+
+'Well, you'll do, I think,' she said, catching my arm. 'That big mill
+down yonder hasn't ground the originality altogether out of you. I adore
+originality. It was clever of you to catch at the suggestion of this
+arrangement. Lois Cayley, you say; any relation of a madcap Captain
+Cayley whom I used once to know, in the Forty-second Highlanders?'
+
+'His daughter,' I answered, flushing. For I was proud of my father.
+
+'Ha! I remember; he died, poor fellow; he was a good soldier--and
+his'--I felt she was going to say 'his fool of a widow,' but a glance
+from me quelled her; 'his widow went and married that good-looking
+scapegrace, Jack Watts-Morgan. Never marry a man, my dear, with a
+double-barrelled name and no visible means of subsistence; above all, if
+he's generally known by a nickname. So you're poor Tom Cayley's
+daughter, are you? Well, well, we can settle this little matter between
+us. Mind, I'm a person who always expects to have my own way. If you
+come with _me_ to Schlangenbad, you must do as I tell you.'
+
+'I _think_ I could manage it--for a week,' I answered, demurely.
+
+She smiled at my audacity. We passed on to terms. They were quite
+satisfactory. She wanted no references. 'Do I look like a woman who
+cares about a reference? What are called _characters_ are usually essays
+in how not to say it. You take my fancy; that's the point! And poor Tom
+Cayley! But, mind, I will _not_ be contradicted.'
+
+'I will not contradict your wildest misstatement,' I answered, smiling.
+
+'_And_ your name and address?' I asked, after we had settled
+preliminaries.
+
+A faint red spot rose quaintly in the centre of the Cantankerous Old
+Lady's sallow cheek. 'My dear,' she murmured, 'my name is the one thing
+on earth I'm really ashamed of. My parents chose to inflict upon me the
+most odious label that human ingenuity ever devised for a Christian
+soul; and I've not had courage enough to burst out and change it.'
+
+A gleam of intuition flashed across me, 'You don't mean to say,' I
+exclaimed, 'that you're called Georgina?'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady gripped my arm hard. 'What an unusually
+intelligent girl!' she broke in. 'How on earth did you guess? It _is_
+Georgina.'
+
+'Fellow-feeling,' I answered. 'So is mine, Georgina Lois. But as I quite
+agree with you as to the atrocity of such conduct, I have suppressed the
+Georgina. It ought to be made penal to send innocent girls into the
+world so burdened.'
+
+'My opinion to a T! You are really an exceptionally sensible young
+woman. There's my name and address; I start on Monday.'
+
+I glanced at her card. The very copperplate was noisy. 'Lady Georgina
+Fawley, 49 Fortescue Crescent, W.'
+
+It had taken us twenty minutes to arrange our protocols. As I walked
+off, well pleased, Lady Georgina's friend ran after me quickly.
+
+'You must take care,' she said, in a warning voice. 'You've caught a
+Tartar.'
+
+'So I suspect,' I answered. 'But a week in Tartary will be at least an
+experience.'
+
+'She has an awful temper.'
+
+'That's nothing. So have I. Appalling, I assure you. And if it comes to
+blows, I'm bigger and younger and stronger than she is.'
+
+'Well, I wish you well out of it.'
+
+'Thank you. It is kind of you to give me this warning. But I think I can
+take care of myself. I come, you see, of a military family.'
+
+I nodded my thanks, and strolled back to Elsie's. Dear little Elsie was
+in transports of surprise when I related my adventure.
+
+'Will you really go? And what will you do, my dear, when you get there?'
+
+'I haven't a notion,' I answered; 'that's where the fun comes in. But,
+anyhow, I shall have got there.'
+
+'Oh, Brownie, you might starve!'
+
+'And I might starve in London. In either place, I have only two hands
+and one head to help me.'
+
+'But, then, here you are among friends. You might stop with me for
+ever.'
+
+I kissed her fluffy forehead. 'You good, generous little Elsie,' I
+cried; 'I won't stop here one moment after I have finished the painting
+and papering. I came here to help you. I couldn't go on eating your
+hard-earned bread and doing nothing. I know how sweet you are; but the
+last thing I want is to add to your burdens. Now let us roll up our
+sleeves again and hurry on with the dado.'
+
+'But, Brownie, you'll want to be getting your own things ready.
+Remember, you're off to Germany on Monday.'
+
+I shrugged my shoulders. 'Tis a foreign trick I picked up in
+Switzerland. 'What have I got to get ready?' I asked. 'I can't go out
+and buy a complete summer outfit in Bond Street for twopence. Now, don't
+look at me like that: be practical, Elsie, and let me help you paint the
+dado.' For unless I helped her, poor Elsie could never have finished it
+herself. I cut out half her clothes for her; her own ideas were almost
+entirely limited to differential calculus. And cutting out a blouse by
+differential calculus is weary, uphill work for a high-school teacher.
+
+By Monday I had papered and furnished the rooms, and was ready to start
+on my voyage of exploration. I met the Cantankerous Old Lady at Charing
+Cross, by appointment, and proceeded to take charge of her luggage and
+tickets.
+
+Oh my, how fussy she was! 'You will drop that basket! I hope you have
+got through tickets, _vi�_ Malines, _not_ by Brussels-- I won't go by
+Brussels. You have to change there. Now, mind you notice how much the
+luggage weighs in English pounds, and make the man at the office give
+you a note of it to check those horrid Belgian porters. They'll charge
+you for double the weight, unless you reduce it at once to kilogrammes.
+_I_ know their ways. Foreigners have no consciences. They just go to the
+priest and confess, you know, and wipe it all out, and start fresh again
+on a career of crime next morning. I'm sure I don't know why I _ever_ go
+abroad. The only country in the world fit to live in is England. No
+mosquitoes, no passports, no--goodness gracious, child, don't let that
+odious man bang about my hat-box! Have you no immortal soul, porter,
+that you crush other people's property as if it was blackbeetles? No, I
+will not let you take this, Lois; this is my jewel-box--it contains all
+that remains of the Fawley family jewels. I positively decline to appear
+at Schlangenbad without a diamond to my back. This never leaves my
+hands. It's hard enough nowadays to keep body and skirt together. _Have_
+you secured that _coup�_ at Ostend?'
+
+[Illustration: A MOST URBANE AND OBLIGING CONTINENTAL GENTLEMAN.]
+
+We got into our first-class carriage. It was clean and comfortable; but
+the Cantankerous Old Lady made the porter mop the floor, and fidgeted
+and worried till we slid out of the station. Fortunately, the only other
+occupant of the compartment was a most urbane and obliging Continental
+gentleman--I say Continental, because I couldn't quite make out whether
+he was French, German, or Austrian--who was anxious in every way to meet
+Lady Georgina's wishes. Did madame desire to have the window open? Oh,
+certainly, with pleasure; the day was so sultry. Closed a little more?
+_Parfaitement_, there _was_ a current of air, _il faut l'admettre_.
+Madame would prefer the corner? No? Then perhaps she would like this
+valise for a footstool? _Permettez_--just thus. A cold draught runs so
+often along the floor in railway carriages. This is Kent that we
+traverse; ah, the garden of England! As a diplomat, he knew every nook
+of Europe, and he echoed the _mot_ he had accidentally heard drop from
+madame's lips on the platform: no country in the world so delightful as
+England!
+
+'Monsieur is attached to the Embassy in London?' Lady Georgina inquired,
+growing affable.
+
+He twirled his grey moustache: a waxed moustache of great distinction.
+'No, madame; I have quitted the diplomatic service; I inhabit London now
+_pour mon agr�ment_. Some of my compatriots call it _triste_; for me, I
+find it the most fascinating capital in Europe. What gaiety! What
+movement! What poetry! What mystery!'
+
+'If mystery means fog, it challenges the world,' I interposed.
+
+He gazed at me with fixed eyes. 'Yes, mademoiselle,' he answered, in
+quite a different and markedly chilly voice. 'Whatever your great
+country attempts--were it only a fog--it achieves consummately.'
+
+I have quick intuitions. I felt the foreign gentleman took an
+instinctive dislike to me.
+
+To make up for it, he talked much, and with animation, to Lady Georgina.
+They ferreted out friends in common, and were as much surprised at it as
+people always are at that inevitable experience.
+
+'Ah yes, madame, I recollect him well in Vienna. I was there at the
+time, attached to our Legation. He was a charming man; you read his
+masterly paper on the Central Problem of the Dual Empire?'
+
+'You were in Vienna then!' the Cantankerous Old Lady mused back. 'Lois,
+my child, don't stare'--she had covenanted from the first to call me
+Lois, as my father's daughter, and I confess I preferred it to being
+Miss Cayley'd. 'We must surely have met. Dare I ask your name,
+monsieur?'
+
+I could see the foreign gentleman was delighted at this turn. He had
+played for it, and carried his point. He meant her to ask him. He had a
+card in his pocket, conveniently close; and he handed it across to her.
+She read it, and passed it on: 'M. le Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret.'
+
+'Oh, I remember your name well,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke in. 'I
+think you knew my husband, Sir Evelyn Fawley, and my father, Lord
+Kynaston.'
+
+The Count looked profoundly surprised and delighted. 'What! you are then
+Lady Georgina Fawley!' he cried, striking an attitude. 'Indeed, miladi,
+your admirable husband was one of the very first to exert his influence
+in my favour at Vienna. Do I recall him, _ce cher_ Sir Evelyn? If I
+recall him! What a fortunate rencounter! I must have seen you some years
+ago at Vienna, miladi, though I had not then the great pleasure of
+making your acquaintance. But your face had impressed itself on my
+sub-conscious self!' (I did not learn till later that the esoteric
+doctrine of the sub-conscious self was Lady Georgina's favourite hobby.)
+'The moment chance led me to this carriage this morning, I said to
+myself, "That face, those features: so vivid, so striking: I have seen
+them somewhere. With what do I connect them in the recesses of my
+memory? A high-born family; genius; rank; the diplomatic service; some
+unnameable charm; some faint touch of eccentricity. Ha! I have it.
+Vienna, a carriage with footmen in red livery, a noble presence, a crowd
+of wits--poets, artists, politicians--pressing eagerly round the
+landau." That was my mental picture as I sat and confronted you: I
+understand it all now; this is Lady Georgina Fawley!'
+
+I thought the Cantankerous Old Lady, who was a shrewd person in her way,
+must surely see through this obvious patter; but I had under-estimated
+the average human capacity for swallowing flattery. Instead of
+dismissing his fulsome nonsense with a contemptuous smile, Lady
+Georgina perked herself up with a conscious air of coquetry, and asked
+for more. 'Yes, they were delightful days in Vienna,' she said,
+simpering; 'I was young then, Count; I enjoyed life with a zest.'
+
+[Illustration: PERSONS OF MILADI'S TEMPERAMENT ARE ALWAYS YOUNG.]
+
+'Persons of miladi's temperament are always young,' the Count retorted,
+glibly, leaning forward and gazing at her. 'Growing old is a foolish
+habit of the stupid and the vacant. Men and women of _esprit_ are never
+older. One learns as one goes on in life to admire, not the obvious
+beauty of mere youth and health'--he glanced across at me
+disdainfully--'but the profounder beauty of deep character in a
+face--that calm and serene beauty which is imprinted on the brow by
+experience of the emotions.'
+
+'I have had my moments,' Lady Georgina murmured, with her head on one
+side.
+
+'I believe it, miladi,' the Count answered, and ogled her.
+
+Thenceforward to Dover, they talked together with ceaseless animation.
+The Cantankerous Old Lady was capital company. She had a tang in her
+tongue, and in the course of ninety minutes she had flayed alive the
+greater part of London society, with keen wit and sprightliness. I
+laughed against my will at her ill-tempered sallies; they were too funny
+not to amuse, in spite of their vitriol. As for the Count, he was
+charmed. He talked well himself, too, and between them I almost forgot
+the time till we arrived at Dover.
+
+It was a very rough passage. The Count helped us to carry our nineteen
+hand-packages and four rugs on board; but I noticed that, fascinated as
+she was with him, Lady Georgina resisted his ingenious efforts to gain
+possession of her precious jewel-case as she descended the gangway. She
+clung to it like grim death, even in the chops of the Channel.
+Fortunately I am a good sailor, and when Lady Georgina's sallow cheeks
+began to grow pale, I was steady enough to supply her with her shawl and
+her smelling-bottle. She fidgeted and worried the whole way over. She
+_would_ be treated like a vertebrate animal. Those horrid Belgians had
+no right to stick their deck-chairs just in front of her. The
+impertinence of the hussies with the bright red hair--a grocer's
+daughters, she felt sure--in venturing to come and sit on the same bench
+with _her_--the bench 'for ladies only,' under the lee of the funnel!
+'Ladies only,' indeed! Did the baggages pretend they considered
+themselves ladies? Oh, that placid old gentleman in the episcopal
+gaiters was their father, was he? Well, a bishop should bring up his
+daughters better, having his children in subjection with all gravity.
+Instead of which--'Lois, my smelling-salts!' This was a beastly boat;
+such an odour of machinery; they had no decent boats nowadays; with all
+our boasted improvements, she could remember well when the cross-Channel
+service was much better conducted than it was at present. But _that_ was
+before we had compulsory education. The working classes were driving
+trade out of the country, and the consequence was, we couldn't build a
+boat which didn't reek like an oil-shop. Even the sailors on board were
+French--jabbering idiots; not an honest British Jack-tar among the lot
+of them; though the stewards were English, and very inferior Cockney
+English at that, with their off-hand ways, and their School Board airs
+and graces. _She'd_ School Board them if they were her servants; _she'd_
+show them the sort of respect that was due to people of birth and
+education. But the children of the lower classes never learnt their
+catechism nowadays; they were too much occupied with literatoor,
+jography, and free-'and drawrin'. Happily for my nerves, a good lurch to
+leeward put a stop for a while to the course of her thoughts on the
+present distresses.
+
+At Ostend the Count made a second gallant attempt to capture the
+jewel-case, which Lady Georgina automatically repulsed. She had a fixed
+habit, I believe, of sticking fast to that jewel-case; for she was too
+overpowered by the Count's urbanity, I feel sure, to suspect for a
+moment his honesty of purpose. But whenever she travelled, I fancy, she
+clung to her case as if her life depended upon it; it contained the
+whole of her valuable diamonds.
+
+We had twenty minutes for refreshments at Ostend, during which interval
+my old lady declared with warmth that I _must_ look after her registered
+luggage; though, as it was booked through to Cologne, I could not even
+see it till we crossed the German frontier; for the Belgian _douaniers_
+seal up the van as soon as the through baggage for Germany is unloaded.
+To satisfy her, however, I went through the formality of pretending to
+inspect it, and rendered myself hateful to the head of the _douane_ by
+asking various foolish and inept questions, on which Lady Georgina
+insisted. When I had finished this silly and uncongenial task--for I am
+not by nature fussy, and it is hard to assume fussiness as another
+person's proxy--I returned to our _coup�_ which I had arranged for in
+London. To my great amazement, I found the Cantankerous Old Lady and the
+egregious Count comfortably seated there. 'Monsieur has been good enough
+to accept a place in our carriage,' she observed, as I entered.
+
+He bowed and smiled. 'Or, rather, madame has been so kind as to offer me
+one,' he corrected.
+
+'Would you like some lunch, Lady Georgina?' I asked, in my chilliest
+voice. 'There are ten minutes to spare, and the _buffet_ is excellent.'
+
+'An admirable inspiration,' the Count murmured. 'Permit me to escort
+you, miladi.'
+
+'You will come, Lois?' Lady Georgina asked.
+
+'No, thank you,' I answered, for I had an idea. 'I am a capital sailor,
+but the sea takes away my appetite.'
+
+'Then you'll keep our places,' she said, turning to me. 'I hope you
+won't allow them to stick in any horrid foreigners! They will try to
+force them on you unless you insist. _I_ know their tricky ways. You
+have the tickets, I trust? And the _bulletin_ for the _coup�_? Well,
+mind you don't lose the paper for the registered luggage. Don't let
+those dreadful porters touch my cloaks. And if anybody attempts to get
+in, be sure you stand in front of the door as they mount to prevent
+them.'
+
+The Count handed her out; he was all high courtly politeness. As Lady
+Georgina descended, he made yet another dexterous effort to relieve her
+of the jewel-case. I don't think she noticed it, but automatically once
+more she waved him aside. Then she turned to me. 'Here, my dear,' she
+said, handing it to me, 'you'd better take care of it. If I lay it down
+in the _buffet_ while I am eating my soup, some rogue may run away with
+it. But mind, don't let it out of your hands on any account. Hold it
+so, on your knee; and, for Heaven's sake, don't part with it.'
+
+[Illustration: THAT SUCCEEDS? THE SHABBY-LOOKING MAN MUTTERED.]
+
+By this time my suspicions of the Count were profound. From the first I
+had doubted him; he was so blandly plausible. But as we landed at Ostend
+I had accidentally overheard a low whispered conversation when he passed
+a shabby-looking man, who had travelled in a second-class carriage from
+London. 'That succeeds?' the shabby-looking man had muttered under his
+breath in French, as the haughty nobleman with the waxed moustache
+brushed by him.
+
+'That succeeds admirably,' the Count had answered, in the same soft
+undertone. '_�a r�ussit � merveille!_'
+
+I understood him to mean that he had prospered in his attempt to impose
+on Lady Georgina.
+
+They had been gone five minutes at the _buffet_, when the Count came
+back hurriedly to the door of the _coup�_ with a _nonchalant_ air. 'Oh,
+mademoiselle,' he said, in an off-hand tone, 'Lady Georgina has sent me
+to fetch her jewel-case.'
+
+I gripped it hard with both hands. '_Pardon_, M. le Comte,' I answered;
+'Lady Georgina intrusted it to _my_ safe keeping, and, without her
+leave, I cannot give it up to any one.'
+
+'You mistrust me?' he cried, looking black. 'You doubt my honour? You
+doubt my word when I say that miladi has sent me?'
+
+'_Du tout_,' I answered, calmly. 'But I have Lady Georgina's orders to
+stick to this case; and till Lady Georgina returns I stick to it.'
+
+He murmured some indignant remark below his breath, and walked off. The
+shabby-looking passenger was pacing up and down the platform outside in
+a badly-made dust-coat. As they passed their lips moved. The Count's
+seemed to mutter, '_C'est un coup manqu�._'
+
+However, he did not desist even so. I saw he meant to go on with his
+dangerous little game. He returned to the _buffet_ and rejoined Lady
+Georgina. I felt sure it would be useless to warn her, so completely had
+the Count succeeded in gulling her; but I took my own steps. I examined
+the jewel-case closely. It had a leather outer covering; within was a
+strong steel box, with stout bands of metal to bind it. I took my cue at
+once, and acted for the best on my own responsibility.
+
+When Lady Georgina and the Count returned, they were like old friends
+together. The quails in aspic and the sparkling hock had evidently
+opened their hearts to one another. As far as Malines they laughed and
+talked without ceasing. Lady Georgina was now in her finest vein of
+spleen: her acid wit grew sharper and more caustic each moment. Not a
+reputation in Europe had a rag left to cover it as we steamed in beneath
+the huge iron roof of the main central junction.
+
+I had observed all the way from Ostend that the Count had been anxious
+lest we might have to give up our _coup�_ at Malines. I assured him more
+than once that his fears were groundless, for I had arranged at Charing
+Cross that it should run right through to the German frontier. But he
+waved me aside, with one lordly hand. I had not told Lady Georgina of
+his vain attempt to take possession of her jewel-case; and the bare fact
+of my silence made him increasingly suspicious of me.
+
+'Pardon me, mademoiselle,' he said, coldly; 'you do not understand these
+lines as well as I do. Nothing is more common than for those rascals of
+railway clerks to sell one a place in a _coup�_ or a _wagon-lit_, and
+then never reserve it, or turn one out half way. It is very possible
+miladi may have to descend at Malines.'
+
+Lady Georgina bore him out by a large variety of selected stories
+concerning the various atrocities of the rival companies which had
+stolen her luggage on her way to Italy. As for _trains de luxe_, they
+were dens of robbers.
+
+So when we reached Malines, just to satisfy Lady Georgina, I put out my
+head and inquired of a porter. As I anticipated, he replied that there
+was no change; we went through to Verviers.
+
+The Count, however, was still unsatisfied. He descended, and made some
+remarks a little farther down the platform to an official in the
+gold-banded cap of a _chef-de-gare_, or some such functionary. Then he
+returned to us, all fuming. 'It is as I said,' he exclaimed, flinging
+open the door. 'These rogues have deceived us. The _coup�_ goes no
+farther. You must dismount at once, miladi, and take the train just
+opposite.'
+
+I felt sure he was wrong, and I ventured to say so. But Lady Georgina
+cried, 'Nonsense, child! The _chef-de-gare_ must know. Get out at once!
+Bring my bag and the rugs! Mind that cloak! Don't forget the
+sandwich-tin! Thanks, Count; will you kindly take charge of my
+umbrellas? Hurry up, Lois; hurry up! the train is just starting!'
+
+I scrambled after her, with my fourteen bundles, keeping a quiet eye
+meanwhile on the jewel-case.
+
+We took our seats in the opposite train, which I noticed was marked
+'Amsterdam, Bruxelles, Paris.' But I said nothing. The Count jumped in,
+jumped about, arranged our parcels, jumped out again. He spoke to a
+porter; then he rushed back excitedly. '_Mille pardons_, miladi,' he
+cried. 'I find the _chef-de-gare_ has cruelly deceived me. You were
+right, after all, mademoiselle! We must return to the coup�__!'
+
+With singular magnanimity, I refrained from saying, 'I told you so.'
+
+Lady Georgina, very flustered and hot by this time, tumbled out once
+more, and bolted back to the _coup�_. Both trains were just starting. In
+her hurry, at last, she let the Count take possession of her jewel-case.
+I rather fancy that as he passed one window he handed it in to the
+shabby-looking passenger; but I am not certain. At any rate, when we
+were comfortably seated in our own compartment once more, and he stood
+on the footboard just about to enter, of a sudden he made an unexpected
+dash back, and flung himself wildly into a Paris carriage. At the
+self-same moment, with a piercing shriek, both trains started.
+
+Lady Georgina threw up her hands in a frenzy of horror. 'My diamonds!'
+she cried aloud. 'Oh, Lois, my diamonds!'
+
+'Don't distress yourself,' I answered, holding her back, for I verily
+believe she would have leapt from the train. 'He has only taken the
+outer shell, with the sandwich-case inside it. _Here_ is the steel box!'
+And I produced it, triumphantly.
+
+She seized it, overjoyed. 'How did this happen?' she cried, hugging it,
+for she loved those diamonds.
+
+'Very simply,' I answered. 'I saw the man was a rogue, and that he had a
+confederate with him in another carriage. So, while you were gone to the
+_buffet_ at Ostend, I slipped the box out of the case, and put in the
+sandwich-tin, that he might carry it off, and we might have proofs
+against him. All you have to do now is to inform the conductor, who will
+telegraph to stop the train to Paris. I spoke to him about that at
+Ostend, so that everything is ready.'
+
+She positively hugged me. 'My dear,' she cried, 'you are the cleverest
+little woman I ever met in my life! Who on earth could have suspected
+such a polished gentleman? Why, you're worth your weight in gold. What
+the dickens shall I do without you at Schlangenbad?'
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS _ATTACH�_
+
+
+The Count must have been an adept in the gentle art of quick-change
+disguise; for though we telegraphed full particulars of his appearance
+from Louvain, the next station, nobody in the least resembling either
+him or his accomplice, the shabby-looking man, could be unearthed in the
+Paris train when it drew up at Brussels, its first stopping-place. They
+must have transformed themselves meanwhile into two different persons.
+Indeed, from the outset, I had suspected his moustache--'twas so _very_
+distinguished.
+
+When we reached Cologne, the Cantankerous Old Lady overwhelmed me with
+the warmth of her thanks and praises. Nay, more; after breakfast next
+morning, before we set out by slow train for Schlangenbad, she burst
+like a tornado into my bedroom at the Cologne hotel with a cheque for
+twenty guineas, drawn in my favour. 'That's for you, my dear,' she said,
+handing it to me, and looking really quite gracious.
+
+I glanced at the piece of paper and felt my face glow crimson. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina,' I cried; 'you misunderstand. You forget that I am a lady.'
+
+'Nonsense, child, nonsense! Your courage and promptitude were worth ten
+times that sum,' she exclaimed, positively slipping her arm round my
+neck. 'It was your courage I particularly admired, Lois; because you
+faced the risk of my happening to look inside the outer case, and
+finding you had abstracted the blessed box: in which case I might quite
+naturally have concluded you meant to steal it.'
+
+'I thought of that,' I answered. 'But I decided to risk it. I felt it
+was worth while. For I was sure the man meant to take the case as soon
+as ever you gave him the opportunity.'
+
+'Then you deserve to be rewarded,' she insisted, pressing the cheque
+upon me.
+
+[Illustration: I PUT HER HAND BACK FIRMLY.]
+
+I put her hand back firmly. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, 'it is very amiable
+of you. I think you do right in offering me the money; but I think I
+should do altogether wrong in accepting it. A lady is not honest from
+the hope of gain; she is not brave because she expects to be paid for
+her bravery. You were my employer, and I was bound to serve my
+employer's interests. I did so as well as I could, and there is the end
+of it.'
+
+She looked absolutely disappointed; we all hate to crush a benevolent
+impulse; but she tore the cheque up into very small pieces. 'As you
+will, my dear,' she said, with her hands on her hips: 'I see, you are
+poor Tom Cayley's daughter. He was always a bit Quixotic.' Though I
+believe she liked me all the better for my refusal.
+
+On the way from Cologne to Eltville, however, and on the drive up to
+Schlangenbad, I found her just as fussy and as worrying as ever. 'Let me
+see, how many of these horrid pfennigs make an English penny? I never
+_can_ remember. Oh, those silly little nickel things are ten pfennigs
+each, are they? Well, eight would be a penny, I suppose. A mark's a
+shilling; ridiculous of them to divide it into ten pence instead of
+twelve; one never really knows how much one's paying for anything. Why
+these Continental people can't be content to use pounds, shillings, and
+pence, all over alike, the same as we do, passes _my_ comprehension.
+They're glad enough to get English sovereigns when they can; why, then,
+don't they use them as such, instead of reckoning them each at
+twenty-five francs, and then trying to cheat you out of the proper
+exchange, which is _always_ ten centimes more than the brokers give you?
+What, _we_ use their beastly decimal system? Lois, I'm ashamed of you.
+An English girl to turn and rend her native country like that! Francs
+and centimes, indeed! Fancy proposing it at Peter Robinson's! No, I
+will _not_ go by the boat, my dear. I hate the Rhine boats, crowded with
+nasty selfish pigs of Germans. What _I_ like is a first-class
+compartment all to myself, and no horrid foreigners. Especially Germans.
+They're bursting with self-satisfaction--have such an exaggerated belief
+in their "land" and their "folk." And when they come to England, they do
+nothing but find fault with us. If people aren't satisfied with the
+countries they travel in, they'd better stop at home--that's _my_
+opinion. Nasty pigs of Germans! The very sight of them sickens me. Oh, I
+don't mind if they _do_ understand me, child. They all learn English
+nowadays; it helps them in trade--that's why they're driving us out of
+all the markets. But it _must_ be good for them to learn once in a way
+what other people really think of them--civilised people, I mean; not
+Germans. They're a set of barbarians.'
+
+We reached Schlangenbad alive, though I sometimes doubted it: for my old
+lady did her boisterous best to rouse some peppery German officer into
+cutting our throats incontinently by the way; and when we got there, we
+took up our abode in the nicest hotel in the village. Lady Georgina had
+engaged the best front room on the first floor, with a charming view
+across the pine-clad valley; but I must do her the justice to say that
+she took the second best for me, and that she treated me in every way
+like the guest she delighted to honour. My refusal to accept her twenty
+guineas made her anxious to pay it back to me within the terms of our
+agreement. She described me to everybody as a young friend who was
+travelling with her, and never gave any one the slightest hint of my
+being a paid companion. Our arrangement was that I was to have two
+guineas for the week, besides my travelling expenses, board, and
+lodging.
+
+On our first morning at Schlangenbad, Lady Georgina sallied forth, very
+much overdressed, and in a youthful hat, to use the waters. They are
+valued chiefly for the complexion, I learned; I wondered then why Lady
+Georgina came there--for she hadn't any; but they are also recommended
+for nervous irritability, and as Lady Georgina had visited the place
+almost every summer for fifteen years, it opened before one's mind an
+appalling vista of what her temper might have been if she had _not_ gone
+to Schlangenbad. The hot springs are used in the form of a bath. '_You_
+don't need them, my dear,' Lady Georgina said to me, with a
+good-humoured smile; and I will own that I did not, for nature has
+gifted me with a tolerable cuticle. But I like when at Rome to do as
+Rome does; so I tried the baths once. I found them unpleasantly smooth
+and oily. I do not freckle, but if I did, I think I should prefer
+freckles.
+
+We walked much on the terrace--the inevitable dawdling promenade of all
+German watering-places--it reeked of Serene Highness. We also drove out
+among the low wooded hills which bound the Rhine valley. The majority of
+the visitors, I found, were ladies--Court ladies, most of them; all
+there for their complexions, but all anxious to assure me privately they
+had come for what they described as 'nervous debility.' I divided them
+at once into two classes: half of them never had and never would have a
+complexion at all; the other half had exceptionally smooth and beautiful
+skins, of which they were obviously proud, and whose pink-and-white
+peach-blossom they thought to preserve by assiduous bathing. It was
+vanity working on two opposite bases. There was a sprinkling of men,
+however, who were really there for a sufficient reason--wounds or
+serious complaints; while a few good old sticks, porty and whisty, were
+in attendance on invalid wives or sisters.
+
+[Illustration: HE CAST A HASTY GLANCE AT US.]
+
+From the beginning I noticed that Lady Georgina went peering about all
+over the place, as if she were hunting for something she had lost, with
+her long-handled tortoise-shell glasses perpetually in evidence--the
+'aristocratic outrage' I called them--and that she eyed all the men with
+peculiar attention. But I took no open notice of her little weakness. On
+our second day at the Spa, I was sauntering with her down the chief
+street--'a beastly little hole, my dear; not a decent shop where one can
+buy a reel of thread or a yard of tape in the place!'--when I observed a
+tall and handsome young man on the opposite side of the road cast a
+hasty glance at us, and then sneak round the corner hurriedly. He was a
+loose-limbed, languid-looking young man, with large, dreamy eyes, and a
+peculiarly beautiful and gentle expression; but what I noted about him
+most was an odd superficial air of superciliousness. He seemed always to
+be looking down with scorn on that foolish jumble, the universe. He
+darted away so rapidly, however, that I hardly discovered all this just
+then. I piece it out from subsequent observations.
+
+Later in the day, we chanced to pass a _caf�_, where three young
+exquisites sat sipping Rhine wines after the fashion of the country. One
+of them, with a gold-tipped cigarette held gracefully between two
+slender fingers, was my languid-looking young aristocrat. He was blowing
+out smoke in a lazy blue stream. The moment he saw me, however, he
+turned away as if he desired to escape observation, and ducked down so
+as to hide his face behind his companions. I wondered why on earth he
+should want to avoid me. Could this be the Count? No, the young man with
+the halo of cigarette smoke stood three inches taller. Who, then, at
+Schlangenbad could wish to avoid my notice? It was a singular mystery;
+for I was quite certain the supercilious young man was trying his best
+to prevent my seeing him.
+
+That evening, after dinner, the Cantankerous Old Lady burst out
+suddenly, 'Well, I can't for the life of me imagine why Harold hasn't
+turned up here. The wretch knew I was coming; and I heard from our
+Ambassador at Rome last week that he was going to be at Schlangenbad.'
+
+'Who is Harold?' I asked.
+
+'My nephew,' Lady Georgina snapped back, beating a devil's tattoo with
+her fan on the table. 'The only member of my family, except myself, who
+isn't a born idiot. Harold's not an idiot; he's an _attach�_ at Rome.'
+
+I saw it at a glance. 'Then he _is_ in Schlangenbad,' I answered. 'I
+noticed him this morning.'
+
+The old lady turned towards me sharply. She peered right through me, as
+if she were a R�ntgen ray. I could see she was asking herself whether
+this was a conspiracy, and whether I had come there on purpose to meet
+'Harold.' But I flatter myself I am tolerably mistress of my own
+countenance. I did not blench. 'How do you know?' she asked quickly,
+with an acid intonation.
+
+If I had answered the truth, I should have said, 'I know he is here,
+because I saw a good-looking young man evidently trying to avoid you
+this morning; and if a young man has the misfortune to be born your
+nephew, and also to have expectations from you, it is easy to understand
+that he would prefer to keep out of your way as long as possible.' But
+that would have been neither polite nor politic. Moreover, I reflected
+that I had no particular reason for wishing to do Mr. Harold a bad turn;
+and that it would be kinder to him, as well as to her, to conceal the
+reasons on which I based my instinctive inference. So I took up a strong
+strategic position. 'I have an intuition that I saw him in the village
+this morning,' I said. 'Family likeness, perhaps. I merely jumped at it
+as you spoke. A tall, languid young man; large, poetical eyes; an
+artistic moustache--just a trifle Oriental-looking.'
+
+'That's Harold!' the Cantankerous Old Lady rapped out sharply, with
+clear conviction. 'The miserable boy! Why on earth hasn't he been round
+to see me?'
+
+I reflected that I knew why; but I did not say so. Silence is golden. I
+also remarked mentally on that curious human blindness which had made me
+conclude at first that the supercilious young man was trying to avoid
+_me_, when I might have guessed it was far more likely he was trying to
+avoid my companion. I was a nobody; Lady Georgina Fawley was a woman of
+European reputation.
+
+'Perhaps he didn't know which hotel you were stopping at,' I put in. 'Or
+even that you were here.' I felt a sudden desire to shield poor Harold.
+
+'Not know which hotel? Nonsense, child; he knows I come here on this
+precise date regularly every summer; and if he didn't know, is it likely
+I should try any other inn, when this is the only moderately decent
+house to stop at in Schlangenbad? And the morning coffee undrinkable at
+that; while the hash--_such_ hash! But that's the way in Germany. He's
+an ungrateful monster; if he comes now, I shall refuse to see him.'
+
+[Illustration: HAROLD, YOU VIPER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TRYING TO AVOID
+ME?]
+
+Next morning after breakfast, however, in spite of these threats, she
+hailed me forth with her on the Harold hunt. She had sent the
+_concierge_ to inquire at all the hotels already, it seemed, and found
+her truant at none of them; now she ransacked the _pensions_. At last
+she hunted him down in a house on the hill. I could see she was really
+hurt. 'Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?'
+
+'My dear aunt, _you_ here in Schlangenbad! Why, when did you arrive? And
+what a colour you've got! You're looking _so_ well!' That clever thrust
+saved him.
+
+He cast me an appealing glance. 'You will not betray me?' it said. I
+answered, mutely, 'Not for worlds,' with a faltering pair of downcast
+eyelids.
+
+'Oh, I'm _well_ enough, thank you,' Lady Georgina replied, somewhat
+mollified by his astute allusion to her personal appearance. He had hit
+her weak point dexterously. 'As well, that is, as one can expect to be
+nowadays. Hereditary gout--the sins of the fathers visited as usual. But
+why didn't you come to see me?'
+
+'How can I come to see you if you don't tell me where you are? "Lady
+Georgina Fawley, Europe," was the only address I knew. It strikes me as
+insufficient.'
+
+His gentle drawl was a capital foil to Lady Georgina's acidulous
+soprano. It seemed to disarm her. She turned to me with a benignant wave
+of her hand. 'Miss Cayley,' she said, introducing me; 'my nephew, Mr.
+Harold Tillington. You've heard me talk of poor Tom Cayley, Harold? This
+is poor Tom Cayley's daughter.'
+
+'Indeed?' the supercilious _attach�_ put in, looking hard at me.
+'Delighted to make Miss Cayley's acquaintance.'
+
+'Now, Harold, I can tell from your voice at once you haven't remembered
+one word about Captain Cayley.'
+
+Harold stood on the defensive. 'My dear aunt,' he observed, expanding
+both palms, 'I have heard you talk of so _very_ many people, that even
+_my_ diplomatic memory fails at times to recollect them all. But I do
+better: I dissemble. I will plead forgetfulness now of Captain Cayley,
+since you force it on me. It is not likely I shall have to plead it of
+Captain Cayley's daughter.' And he bowed towards me gallantly.
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady darted a lightning glance at him. It was a
+glance of quick suspicion. Then she turned her R�ntgen rays upon my face
+once more. I fear I burned crimson.
+
+'A friend?' he asked. 'Or a fellow-guest?'
+
+'A companion.' It was the first nasty thing she had said of me.
+
+'Ha! more than a friend, then. A comrade.' He turned the edge neatly.
+
+We walked out on the terrace and a little way up the zigzag path. The
+day was superb. I found Mr. Tillington, in spite of his studiously
+languid and supercilious air, a most agreeable companion. He knew
+Europe. He was full of talk of Rome and the Romans. He had epigrammatic
+wit, curt, keen, and pointed. We sat down on a bench; he kept Lady
+Georgina and myself amused for an hour by his crisp sallies. Besides, he
+had been everywhere and seen everybody. Culture and agriculture seemed
+all one to him.
+
+When we rose to go in, Lady Georgina remarked, with emphasis, 'Of
+course, Harold, you'll come and take up your diggings at our hotel?'
+
+'Of course, my dear aunt. How can you ask? Free quarters. Nothing would
+give me greater pleasure.'
+
+She glanced at him keenly again. I saw she had expected him to fake up
+some lame excuse for not joining us; and I fancied she was annoyed at
+his prompt acquiescence, which had done her out of the chance for a
+family disagreement. 'Oh, you'll come then?' she said, grudgingly.
+
+'Certainly, most respected aunt. I shall much prefer it.'
+
+She let her piercing eye descend upon me once more. I was aware that I
+had been talking with frank ease of manner to Mr. Tillington, and that I
+had said several things which clearly amused him. Then I remembered all
+at once our relative positions. A companion, I felt, should know her
+place: it is not her _r�le_ to be smart and amusing. 'Perhaps,' I said,
+drawing back, 'Mr. Tillington would like to remain in his present
+quarters till the end of the week, while I am with you, Lady Georgina;
+after that, he could have my room; it might be more convenient.'
+
+His eye caught mine quickly. 'Oh, you're only going to stop a week,
+then, Miss Cayley?' he put in, with an air of disappointment.
+
+'Only a week,' I nodded.
+
+'My dear child,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke out, 'what nonsense you
+do talk! Only going to stop a week? How can I exist without you?'
+
+'That was the arrangement,' I said, mischievously. 'You were going to
+look about, you recollect, for an unsophisticated Gretchen. You don't
+happen to know of any warehouse where a supply of unsophisticated
+Gretchens is kept constantly in stock, do you, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'No, I don't,' he answered, laughing. 'I believe there are dodos and
+auks' eggs, in very small numbers, still to be procured in the proper
+quarters; but the unsophisticated Gretchen, I am credibly informed, is
+an extinct animal. Why, the cap of one fetches high prices nowadays
+among collectors.'
+
+'But you will come to the hotel at once, Harold?' Lady Georgina
+interposed.
+
+'Certainly, aunt. I will move in without delay. If Miss Cayley is going
+to stay for a single week only, that adds one extra inducement for
+joining you immediately.'
+
+His aunt's stony eye was cold as marble.
+
+So when we got back to our hotel after the baths that afternoon, the
+_concierge_ greeted us with: 'Well, your noble nephew has arrived,
+high-well-born countess! He came with his boxes just now, and has taken
+a room near your honourable ladyship's.'
+
+Lady Georgina's face was a study of mingled emotions. I don't know
+whether she looked more pleased or jealous.
+
+Later in the day, I chanced on Mr. Tillington, sunning himself on a
+bench in the hotel garden. He rose, and came up to me, as fast as his
+languid nature permitted. 'Oh, Miss Cayley,' he said, abruptly, 'I do
+want to thank you so much for not betraying me. I know you spotted me
+twice in the town yesterday; and I also know you were good enough to say
+nothing to my revered aunt about it.'
+
+'I had no reason for wishing to hurt Lady Georgina's feelings,' I
+answered, with a permissible evasion.
+
+His countenance fell. 'I never thought of that,' he interposed, with one
+hand on his moustache. 'I-- I fancied you did it out of fellow-feeling.'
+
+'We all think of things mainly from our own point of view first,' I
+answered. 'The difference is that some of us think of them from other
+people's afterwards. Motives are mixed.'
+
+He smiled. 'I didn't know my deeply venerated relative was coming here
+so soon,' he went on. 'I thought she wasn't expected till next week; my
+brother wrote me that she had quarrelled with her French maid, and
+'twould take her full ten days to get another. I meant to clear out
+before she arrived. To tell you the truth, I was going to-morrow.'
+
+'And now you are stopping on?'
+
+He caught my eye again.
+
+[Illustration: CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES, HE MURMURED.]
+
+'Circumstances alter cases,' he murmured, with meaning.
+
+'It is hardly polite to describe one as a circumstance,' I objected.
+
+'I meant,' he said, quickly, 'my aunt alone is one thing; my aunt with a
+friend is quite another.'
+
+'I see,' I answered. 'There is safety in numbers.'
+
+He eyed me hard.
+
+'Are you medi�val or modern?' he asked.
+
+'Modern, I hope,' I replied. Then I looked at him again. 'Oxford?'
+
+He nodded. 'And you?' half joking.
+
+'Cambridge,' I said, glad to catch him out. 'What college?'
+
+'Merton. Yours?'
+
+'Girton.'
+
+The odd rhyme amused him. Thenceforth we were friends--'two 'Varsity
+men,' he said. And indeed it does make a queer sort of link--a
+freemasonry to which even women are now admitted.
+
+At dinner and through the evening he talked a great deal to me, Lady
+Georgina putting in from time to time a characteristic growl about the
+_table-d'h�te_ chicken--'a special breed, my dear, with eight drumsticks
+apiece'--or about the inadequate lighting of the heavy German _salon_.
+She was worse than ever: pungent as a rule, that evening she was grumpy.
+When we retired for the night, to my great surprise, she walked into my
+bedroom. She seated herself on my bed: I saw she had come to talk over
+Harold.
+
+'He will be very rich, my dear, you know. A great catch in time. He will
+inherit all my brother's money.'
+
+'Lord Kynaston's?'
+
+'Bless the child, no. Kynaston's as poor as a church mouse with the
+tithes unpaid; he has three sons of his own, and not a blessed stiver to
+leave between them. How could he, poor dear idiot? Agricultural
+depression; a splendid pauper. He has only the estate, and that's in
+Essex; land going begging; worth nothing a year, encumbered up to the
+eyes, and loaded with first rent-charges, jointures, settlements. Money,
+indeed! poor Kynaston! It's my brother Marmaduke's I mean; lucky dog,
+_he_ went in for speculation--began life as a guinea-pig, and rose with
+the rise of soap and cocoa. He's worth his half-million.'
+
+'Oh, Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst'
+
+Lady Georgina nodded. 'Marmy's a fool,' she said, briefly; 'but he knows
+which side of his bread is buttered.'
+
+'And Mr. Tillington is--his nephew?'
+
+'Bless the child, yes; have you never read your British Bible, the
+peerage? Astonishing, the ignorance of these Girton girls! They don't
+even know the Leger's run at Doncaster. The family name's Ashurst.
+Kynaston's an earl-- I was Lady Georgina Ashurst before I took it into
+my head to marry and do for poor Evelyn Fawley. My younger brother's the
+Honourable Marmaduke Ashurst--women get the best of it there--it's about
+the only place where they do get the best of it: an earl's daughter is
+Lady Betty; his son's nothing more than the Honourable Tom. So one
+scores off one's brothers. My younger sister, Lady Guinevere Ashurst,
+married Stanley Tillington of the Foreign Office. Harold's their eldest
+son. Now, child, do you grasp it?'
+
+'Perfectly,' I answered. 'You speak like Debrett. Has issue, Harold.'
+
+'And Harold will inherit all Marmaduke's money. What I'm always afraid
+of is that some fascinating adventuress will try to marry him out of
+hand. A pretty face, and over goes Harold! _My_ business in life is to
+stand in the way and prevent it.'
+
+She looked me through and through again with her X-ray scrutiny.
+
+'I don't think Mr. Tillington is quite the sort that falls a prey to
+adventuresses,' I answered, boldly.
+
+'Ah, but there are faggots and faggots,' the old lady said, wagging her
+head with profound meaning. 'Never mind, though; _I'd_ like to see an
+adventuress marry off Harold without my leave! _I'd_ lead her a life!
+I'd turn her black hair gray for her!'
+
+'I should think,' I assented, 'you could do it, Lady Georgina, if you
+gave your attention seriously to it.'
+
+From that moment forth, I was aware that my Cantankerous Old Lady's
+malign eye was inexorably fixed upon me every time I went within
+speaking distance of Mr. Tillington. She watched him like a lynx. She
+watched _me_ like a dozen lynxes. Wherever we went, Lady Georgina was
+sure to turn up in the neighbourhood. She was perfectly ubiquitous: she
+seemed to possess a world-wide circulation. I don't know whether it was
+this constant suggestion of hers that I was stalking her nephew which
+roused my latent human feeling of opposition; but in the end, I began to
+be aware that I rather liked the supercilious _attach�_ than otherwise.
+He evidently liked me, and he tried to meet me. Whenever he spoke to me,
+indeed, it was without the superciliousness which marked his manner
+towards others; in point of fact, it was with graceful deference. He
+watched for me on the stairs, in the garden, by the terrace; whenever he
+got a chance, he sidled over and talked to me. Sometimes he stopped in
+to read me Heine: he also introduced me to select portions of Gabriele
+d'Annunzio. It is feminine to be touched by such obvious attention; I
+confess, before long, I grew to like Mr. Harold Tillington.
+
+The closer he followed me up, the more did I perceive that Lady Georgina
+threw out acrid hints with increasing spleen about the ways of
+adventuresses. They were hints of that acrimonious generalised kind,
+too, which one cannot answer back without seeming to admit that the cap
+has fitted. It was atrocious how middle-class young women nowadays ran
+after young men of birth and fortune. A girl would stoop to anything in
+order to catch five hundred thousand. Guileless youths should be thrown
+among their natural equals. It was a mistake to let them see too much of
+people of a lower rank who consider themselves good-looking. And the
+clever ones were the worst: they pretended to go in for intellectual
+companionship.
+
+I also noticed that though at first Lady Georgina had expressed the
+strongest disinclination to my leaving her after the time originally
+proposed, she now began to take for granted that I would go at the end
+of my week, as arranged in London, and she even went on to some overt
+steps towards securing the help of the blameless Gretchen.
+
+We had arrived at Schlangenbad on Tuesday. I was to stop with the
+Cantankerous Old Lady till the corresponding day of the following week.
+On the Sunday, I wandered out on the wooded hillside behind the village;
+and as I mounted the path I was dimly aware by a sort of instinct that
+Harold Tillington was following me.
+
+He came up with me at last near a ledge of rock. 'How fast you walk!' he
+exclaimed. 'I gave you only a few minutes' start, and yet even my long
+legs have had hard work to overtake you.'
+
+'I am a fairly good climber,' I answered, sitting down on a little
+wooden bench. 'You see, at Cambridge, I went on the river a great deal--
+I canoed and sculled: and then, besides, I've done a lot of bicycling.'
+
+'What a splendid birthright it is,' he cried, 'to be a wholesome
+athletic English girl! You can't think how one admires English girls
+after living a year or two in Italy--where women are dolls, except for a
+brief period of intrigue, before they settle down to be contented frumps
+with an outline like a barrel.'
+
+'A little muscle and a little mind are no doubt advisable adjuncts for a
+housewife,' I admitted.
+
+'You shall not say that word,' he cried, seating himself at my side. 'It
+is a word for Germans, "housewife." Our English ideal is something
+immeasurably higher and better. A companion, a complement! Do you know,
+Miss Cayley, it always sickens me when I hear German students
+sentimentalising over their _m�dchen_: their beautiful, pure, insipid,
+yellow-haired, blue-eyed _m�dchen_; her, so fair, so innocent, so
+unapproachably vacuous--so like a wax doll--and then think of how they
+design her in days to come to cook sausages for their dinner, and knit
+them endless stockings through a placid middle age, till the needles
+drop from her paralysed fingers, and she retires into frilled caps and
+Teutonic senility.'
+
+'You seem to have almost as low an opinion of foreigners as your
+respected aunt!' I exclaimed, looking quizzically at him.
+
+He drew back, surprised. 'Oh, no; I'm not narrow-minded, like my aunt, I
+hope,' he answered. 'I am a good cosmopolitan. I allow Continental
+nations all their own good points, and each has many. But their women,
+Miss Cayley--and their point of view of their women--you will admit that
+there they can't hold a candle to English women.'
+
+I drew a circle in the dust with the tip of my parasol.
+
+'On that issue, I may not be a wholly unprejudiced observer,' I
+answered. 'The fact of my being myself an Englishwoman may possibly to
+some extent influence my judgment.'
+
+'You are sarcastic,' he cried, drawing away.
+
+'Not at all,' I answered, making a wider circle. 'I spoke a simple fact.
+But what is _your_ ideal, then, as opposed to the German one?'
+
+He gazed at me and hesitated. His lips half parted. 'My ideal?' he said,
+after a pause. 'Well, _my_ ideal--do you happen to have such a thing as
+a pocket-mirror about you?'
+
+I laughed in spite of myself. 'Now, Mr. Tillington,' I said severely,
+'if you're going to pay compliments, I shall have to return. If you want
+to stop here with me, you must remember that I am only Lady Georgina
+Fawley's temporary lady's-maid. Besides, I didn't mean that. I meant,
+what is your ideal of a man's right relation to his _m�dchen_?'
+
+'Don't say _m�dchen_,' he cried, petulantly. 'It sounds as if you
+thought me one of those sentimental Germans. I hate sentiment.'
+
+'Then, towards the woman of his choice.'
+
+He glanced up through the trees at the light overhead, and spoke more
+slowly than ever. 'I think,' he said, fumbling his watch-chain
+nervously, 'a man ought to wish the woman he loves to be a free agent,
+his equal in point of action, even as she is nobler and better than he
+in all spiritual matters. I think he ought to desire for her a life as
+high as she is capable of leading, with full scope for every faculty of
+her intellect or her emotional nature. She should be beautiful, with a
+vigorous, wholesome, many-sided beauty, moral, intellectual, physical;
+yet with soul in her, too; and with the soul and the mind lighting up
+her eyes, as it lights up--well, that is immaterial. And if a man can
+discover such a woman as that, and can induce her to believe in him, to
+love him, to accept him--though how such a woman can be satisfied with
+any man at all is to me unfathomable--well, then, I think he should be
+happy in devoting his whole life to her, and should give himself up to
+repay her condescension in taking him.'
+
+'And you hate sentiment!' I put in, smiling.
+
+[Illustration: MISS CAYLEY, HE SAID, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME.]
+
+He brought his eyes back from the sky suddenly. 'Miss Cayley,' he said,
+'this is cruel. I was in earnest. You are playing with me.'
+
+'I believe the chief characteristic of the English girl is supposed to
+be common sense,' I answered, calmly, 'and I trust I possess it.' But
+indeed, as he spoke, my heart was beginning to make its beat felt; for
+he was a charming young man; he had a soft voice and lustrous eyes; it
+was a summer's day; and alone in the woods with one other person, where
+the sunlight falls mellow in spots like a leopard's skin, one is apt to
+remember that we are all human.
+
+That evening Lady Georgina managed to blurt out more malicious things
+than ever about the ways of adventuresses, and the duty of relations in
+saving young men from the clever clutches of designing creatures. She
+was ruthless in her rancour: her gibes stung me.
+
+On Monday at breakfast I asked her casually if she had yet found a
+Gretchen.
+
+'No,' she answered, in a gloomy voice. 'All slatterns, my dear; all
+slatterns! Brought up in pig-sties. I wouldn't let one of them touch my
+hair for thousands.'
+
+'That's unfortunate,' I said, drily, 'for you know I'm going to-morrow.'
+
+If I had dropped a bomb in their midst they couldn't have looked more
+astonished. 'To-morrow?' Lady Georgina gasped, clutching my arm. 'You
+don't mean it, child; you don't mean it?'
+
+I asserted my Ego. 'Certainly,' I answered, with my coolest air. 'I said
+I thought I could manage you for a week; and I have managed you.'
+
+She almost burst into tears. 'But, my child, my child, what shall I do
+without you?'
+
+'The unsophisticated Gretchen,' I answered, trying not to look
+concerned; for in my heart of hearts, in spite of her innuendoes, I had
+really grown rather to like the Cantankerous Old Lady.
+
+She rose hastily from the table, and darted up to her own room. 'Lois,'
+she said, as she rose, in a curious voice of mingled regret and
+suspicion, 'I will talk to you about this later.' I could see she was
+not quite satisfied in her own mind whether Harold Tillington and I had
+not arranged this _coup_ together.
+
+I put on my hat and strolled off into the garden, and then along the
+mossy hill path. In a minute more, Harold Tillington was beside me.
+
+He seated me, half against my will, on a rustic bench. 'Look here, Miss
+Cayley,' he said, with a very earnest face; 'is this really true? Are
+you going to-morrow?'
+
+My voice trembled a little. 'Yes,' I answered, biting my lip. 'I am
+going. I see several reasons why I should go, Mr. Tillington.'
+
+'But so soon?'
+
+'Yes, I think so; the sooner the better.' My heart was racing now, and
+his eyes pleaded mutely.
+
+'Then where are you going?'
+
+I shrugged my shoulders, and pouted my lips a little. 'I don't know,' I
+replied. 'The world is all before me where to choose. I am an
+adventuress,' I said it boldly, 'and I am in quest of adventures. I
+really have not yet given a thought to my next place of sojourn.'
+
+'But you will let me know when you have decided?'
+
+It was time to speak out. 'No, Mr. Tillington,' I said, with decision.
+'I will _not_ let you know. One of my reasons for going is, that I think
+I had better see no more of you.'
+
+He flung himself on the bench at my side, and folded his hands in a
+helpless attitude. 'But, Miss Cayley,' he cried, 'this is so short a
+notice; you give a fellow no chance; I hoped I might have seen more of
+you--might have had some opportunity of--of letting you realise how
+deeply I admired and respected you--some opportunity of showing myself
+as I really am to you--before--before----' he paused, and looked hard at
+me.
+
+I did not know what to say. I really liked him so much; and when he
+spoke in that voice, I could not bear to seem cruel to him. Indeed, I
+was aware at the moment how much I had grown to care for him in those
+six short days. But I knew it was impossible. 'Don't say it, Mr.
+Tillington,' I murmured, turning my face away. 'The less said, the
+sooner mended.'
+
+'But I must,' he cried. 'I must tell you now, if I am to have no chance
+afterwards. I wanted you to see more of me before I ventured to ask you
+if you could ever love me, if you could ever suffer me to go through
+life with you, to share my all with you.' He seized my trembling hand.
+'Lois,' he cried, in a pleading voice, 'I _must_ ask you; I can't expect
+you to answer me now, but _do_ say you will give me at least some other
+chance of seeing you, and then, in time, of pressing my suit upon you.'
+
+Tears stood in my eyes. He was so earnest, so charming. But I remembered
+Lady Georgina, and his prospective half-million. I moved his hand away
+gently. 'I cannot,' I said. 'I cannot-- I am a penniless girl--an
+adventuress. Your family, your uncle, would never forgive you if you
+married me. I will not stand in your way. I-- I like you very much,
+though I have seen so little of you. But I feel it is impossible--and I
+am going to-morrow.'
+
+[Illustration: I ROSE OF A SUDDEN, AND RAN DOWN THE HILL.]
+
+Then I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill with all my might, lest I
+should break my resolve, never stopping once till I reached my own
+bedroom.
+
+An hour later, Lady Georgina burst in upon me in high dudgeon. 'Why,
+Lois, my child,' she cried. 'What's this? What on earth does it mean?
+Harold tells me he has proposed to you--proposed to you--and you've
+rejected him!'
+
+I dried my eyes and tried to look steadily at her. 'Yes, Lady Georgina,'
+I faltered. 'You need not be afraid. I have refused him; and I mean it.'
+
+She looked at me, all aghast. '_And_ you mean it!' she repeated. 'You
+mean to refuse him. Then, all I can say is, Lois Cayley, I call it pure
+cheek of you!'
+
+'What?' I cried, drawing back.
+
+'Yes, cheek,' she answered, volubly. 'Forty thousand a year, and a
+good old family! Harold Tillington is my nephew; he's an earl's
+grandson; he's an _attach�_ at Rome; and he's bound to be one of the
+richest commoners in England. Who are you, I'd like to know, miss, that
+you dare to reject him?'
+
+I stared at her, amazed. 'But, Lady Georgina,' I cried, 'you said you
+wished to protect your nephew against bare-faced adventuresses who were
+setting their caps at him.'
+
+She fixed her eyes on me, half-angry, half-tremulous.
+
+'Of course,' she answered, with withering scorn. 'But, _then_, I thought
+you were trying to catch him. He tells me now you won't have him, and
+you won't tell him where you are going. I call it sheer insolence. Where
+do you hail from, girl, that you should refuse my nephew? A man that any
+woman in England would be proud to marry! Forty thousand a year, and an
+earl's grandson! That's what comes, I suppose, of going to Girton!'
+
+I drew myself up. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, coldly, 'I cannot allow you
+to use such language to me. I promised to accompany you to Germany for a
+week; and I have kept my word. I like your nephew; I respect your
+nephew; he has behaved like a gentleman. But I will _not_ marry him.
+Your own conduct showed me in the plainest way that you did not judge
+such a match desirable for him; and I have common sense enough to see
+that you were quite right. I am a lady by birth and education; I am an
+officer's daughter; but I am not what society calls "a good match" for
+Mr. Tillington. He had better marry into a rich stockbroker's family.'
+
+It was an unworthy taunt: the moment it escaped my lips I regretted it.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS GOING TO OPPOSE YOU AND HAROLD.]
+
+To my intense surprise, however, Lady Georgina flung herself on my bed,
+and burst into tears. 'My dear,' she sobbed out, covering her face with
+her hands, 'I thought you would be sure to set your cap at Harold; and
+after I had seen you for twenty-four hours, I said to myself, "That's
+just the sort of girl Harold ought to fall in love with." I felt sure he
+would fall in love with you. I brought you here on purpose. I saw you
+had all the qualities that would strike Harold's fancy. So I had made up
+my mind for a delightful regulation family quarrel. I was going to
+oppose you and Harold, tooth and nail; I was going to threaten that
+Marmy would leave his money to Kynaston's eldest son; I was going to
+kick up, oh, a dickens of a row about it! Then, of course, in the end,
+we should all have been reconciled; we should have kissed and made
+friends: for you're just the one girl in the world for Harold; indeed, I
+never met anybody so capable and so intelligent. And now you spoil all
+my sport by going and refusing him! It's really most ill-timed of you.
+And Harold has sent me here--he's trembling with anxiety--to see whether
+I can't induce you to think better of your decision.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I said, in my gentlest
+voice--positively stooping down and kissing her. 'I like Mr. Tillington
+very much. I dare not tell you how much I like him. He is a dear, good,
+kind fellow. But I cannot rest under the cruel imputation of being moved
+by his wealth and having tried to capture him. Even if _you_ didn't
+think so, his family would. I am sorry to go; for in a way I like you.
+But it is best to adhere to our original plan. If _I_ changed my mind,
+_you_ might change yours again. Let us say no more. I will go
+to-morrow.'
+
+'But you will see Harold again?'
+
+'Not alone. Only at dinner.' For I feared lest, if he spoke to me alone,
+he might over-persuade me.
+
+'Then at least you will tell him where you are going?'
+
+'No, Lady Georgina; I do not know myself. And besides, it is best that
+this should now be final.'
+
+She flung herself upon me. 'But, my dear child, a lady can't go out into
+the world with only two pounds in pocket. You _must_ let me lend you
+something.'
+
+I unwound her clasping hands. 'No, dear Lady Georgina,' I said, though I
+was loth to say it. 'You are very sweet and good, but I must work out my
+life in my own way. I have started to work it out, and I won't be turned
+aside just here on the threshold.'
+
+'And you won't stop with me?' she cried, opening her arms. 'You think me
+too cantankerous?'
+
+'I think you have a dear, kind old heart,' I said, 'under the quaintest
+and crustiest outside such a heart ever wore; you're a truculent old
+darling: so that's the plain truth of it.'
+
+She kissed me. I kissed her in return with fervour, though I am but a
+poor hand at kissing, for a woman. 'So now this episode is concluded,' I
+murmured.
+
+'I don't know about that,' she said, drying her eyes. 'I have set my
+heart upon you now; and Harold has set his heart upon you; and
+considering that your own heart goes much the same way, I daresay, my
+dear, we shall find in the end some convenient road out of it.'
+
+Nevertheless, next morning I set out by myself in the coach from
+Schlangenbad. I went forth into the world to live my own life, partly
+because it was just then so fashionable, but mainly because fate had
+denied me the chance of living anybody else's.
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN
+
+
+In one week I had multiplied my capital two hundred and forty-fold! I
+left London with twopence in the world; I quitted Schlangenbad with two
+pounds in pocket.
+
+'There's a splendid turn-over!' I thought to myself. 'If this luck
+holds, at the same rate, I shall have made four hundred and eighty
+pounds by Tuesday next, and I may look forward to being a Barney Barnato
+by Christmas.' For I had taken high mathematical honours at Cambridge,
+and if there is anything on earth on which I pride myself, it is my firm
+grasp of the principle of ratios.
+
+Still, in spite of this brilliant financial prospect, a budding
+Klondike, I went away from the little Spa on the flanks of the Taunus
+with a heavy heart. I had grown quite to like dear, virulent, fidgety
+old Lady Georgina; and I felt that it had cost me a distinct wrench to
+part with Harold Tillington. The wrench left a scar which was long in
+healing; but as I am not a professional sentimentalist, I will not
+trouble you here with details of the symptoms.
+
+My livelihood, however, was now assured me. With two pounds in pocket, a
+sensible girl can read her title clear to six days' board and lodging,
+at six marks a day, with a glorious margin of four marks over for
+pocket-money. And if at the end of six days my fairy godmother had not
+pointed me out some other means of earning my bread honestly--well, I
+should feel myself unworthy to be ranked in the noble army of
+adventuresses. I thank thee, Lady Georgina, for teaching me that word.
+An adventuress I would be; for I loved adventure.
+
+Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I might fill up the interval by going
+to study art at Frankfort. Elsie Petheridge had been there, and had
+impressed upon me the fact that I must on no account omit to see the
+St�del Gallery. She was strong on culture. Besides, the study of art
+should be most useful to an adventuress; for she must need all the arts
+that human skill has developed.
+
+So to Frankfort I betook myself, and found there a nice little
+_pension_--'for ladies only,' Frau Bockenheifner assured me--at very
+moderate rates, in a pleasant part of the Lindenstrasse. It had dimity
+curtains. I will not deny that as I entered the house I was conscious of
+feeling lonely; my heart sank once or twice as I glanced round the
+luncheon-table at the domestically-unsympathetic German old maids who
+formed the rank-and-file of my fellow-boarders. There they sat--eight
+comfortable Fraus who had missed their vocation; plentiful ladies,
+bulging and surging in tightly stretched black silk bodices. They had
+been cut out for such housewives as Harold Tillington had described, but
+found themselves deprived of their natural sphere in life by the
+unaccountable caprice of the men of their nation. Each was a model
+Teutonic matron _manqu�e_. Each looked capable of frying Frankfort
+sausages to a turn, and knitting woollen socks to a remote eternity. But
+I sought in vain for one kindred soul among them. How horrified they
+would have been, with their fat pudding-faces and big saucer-eyes, had I
+boldly announced myself as an English adventuress!
+
+I spent my first morning in laborious self-education at the Ariadneum
+and the St�del Gallery. I borrowed a catalogue. I wrestled with Van der
+Weyden; I toiled like a galley-slave at Meister Wilhelm and Meister
+Stephan. I have a confused recollection that I saw a number of stiff
+medi�val pictures, and an alabaster statue of the lady who smiled as she
+rode on a tiger, taken at the beginning of that interesting episode. But
+the remainder of the Institute has faded from my memory.
+
+In the afternoon I consoled myself for my herculean efforts in the
+direction of culture by going out for a bicycle ride on a hired machine,
+to which end I decided to devote my pocket-money. You will, perhaps,
+object here that my conduct was imprudent. To raise that objection is to
+misunderstand the spirit of these artless adventures. I told you that I
+set out to go round the world; but to go round the world does not
+necessarily mean to circumnavigate it. My idea was to go round by easy
+stages, seeing the world as I went as far as I got, and taking as little
+heed as possible of the morrow. Most of my readers, no doubt, accept
+that philosophy of life on Sundays only; on week-days they swallow the
+usual contradictory economic platitudes about prudential forethought and
+the horrid improvidence of the lower classes. For myself, I am not built
+that way. I prefer to take life in a spirit of pure inquiry. I put on my
+hat: I saunter where I choose, so far as circumstances permit; and I
+wait to see what chance will bring me. My ideal is breeziness.
+
+The hired bicycle was not a bad machine, as hired bicycles go; it jolted
+one as little as you can expect from a common hack; it never stopped at
+a Bier-Garten; and it showed very few signs of having been ridden by
+beginners with an unconquerable desire to tilt at the hedgerow. So off
+I soared at once, heedless of the jeers of Teutonic youth who found the
+sight of a lady riding a cycle in skirts a strange one--for in South
+Germany the 'rational' costume is so universal among women cyclists that
+'tis the skirt that provokes unfavourable comment from those jealous
+guardians of female propriety, the street boys. I hurried on at a brisk
+pace past the Palm-Garden and the suburbs, with my loose hair straying
+on the breeze behind, till I found myself pedalling at a good round pace
+on a broad, level road, which led towards a village, by name Fraunheim.
+
+As I scurried across the plain, with the wind in my face, not
+unpleasantly, I had some dim consciousness of somebody unknown flying
+after me headlong. My first idea was that Harold Tillington had hunted
+me down and tracked me to my lair; but gazing back, I saw my pursuer was
+a tall and ungainly man, with a straw-coloured moustache, apparently
+American, and that he was following me on his machine, closely watching
+my action. He had such a cunning expression on his face, and seemed so
+strangely inquisitive, with eyes riveted on my treadles, that I didn't
+quite like the look of him. I put on the pace, to see if I could
+outstrip him, for I am a swift cyclist. But his long legs were too much
+for me. He did not gain on me, it is true; but neither did I outpace
+him. Pedalling my very hardest--and I can make good time when
+necessary--I still kept pretty much at the same distance in front of him
+all the way to Fraunheim.
+
+[Illustration: HE KEPT CLOSE AT MY HEELS.]
+
+Gradually I began to feel sure that the weedy-looking man with the alert
+face was really pursuing me. When I went faster, he went faster too;
+when I gave him a chance to pass me, he kept close at my heels, and
+appeared to be keenly watching the style of my ankle-action. I gathered
+that he was a connoisseur; but why on earth he should persecute me I
+could not imagine. My spirit was roused now-- I pedalled with a will; if
+I rode all day I would not let him go past me.
+
+Beyond the cobble-paved chief street of Fraunheim the road took a sharp
+bend, and began to mount the slopes of the Taunus suddenly. It was an
+abrupt, steep climb; but I flatter myself I am a tolerable mountain
+cyclist. I rode sturdily on; my pursuer darted after me. But on this
+stiff upward grade my light weight and agile ankle-action told; I began
+to distance him. He seemed afraid that I would give him the slip, and
+called out suddenly, with a whoop, in English, 'Stop, miss!' I looked
+back with dignity, but answered nothing. He put on the pace, panting; I
+pedalled away, and got clear from him.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS PULLED UP SHORT BY A MOUNTED POLICEMAN.]
+
+At a turn of the corner, however, as luck would have it, I was pulled up
+short by a mounted policeman. He blocked the road with his horse, like
+an ogre, and asked me, in a very gruff Swabian voice, if this was a
+licensed bicycle. I had no idea, till he spoke, that any license was
+required; though to be sure I might have guessed it; for modern Germany
+is studded with notices at all the street corners, to inform you in
+minute detail that everything is forbidden. I stammered out that I did
+not know. The mounted policeman drew near and inspected me rudely. 'It
+is strongly undersaid,' he began, but just at that moment my pursuer
+came up, and, with American quickness, took in the situation. He
+accosted the policeman in choice bad German. 'I have two licenses,' he
+said, producing a handful. 'The Fr�ulein rides with me.'
+
+I was too much taken aback at so providential an interposition to
+contradict this highly imaginative statement. My highwayman had turned
+into a protecting knight-errant of injured innocence. I let the
+policeman go his way; then I glanced at my preserver. A very ordinary
+modern St. George he looked, with no lance to speak of, and no steed but
+a bicycle. Yet his mien was reassuring.
+
+'Good morning, miss,' he began--he called me 'Miss' every time he
+addressed me, as though he took me for a barmaid. 'Ex-cuse _me_, but why
+did you want to speed her?'
+
+'I thought you were pursuing me,' I answered, a little tremulous, I will
+confess, but avid of incident.
+
+'And if I was,' he went on, 'you might have con-jectured, miss, it was
+for our mutual advantage. A business man don't go out of his way unless
+he expects to turn an honest dollar; and he don't reckon on other folks
+going out of theirs, unless he knows he can put them in the way of
+turning an honest dollar with him.'
+
+'That's reasonable,' I answered: for I am a political economist. 'The
+benefit should be mutual.' But I wondered if he was going to propose at
+sight to me.
+
+He looked me all up and down. 'You're a lady of con-siderable personal
+attractions,' he said, musingly, as if he were criticising a horse; 'and
+I want one that sort. That's jest why I trailed you, see? Besides which,
+there's some style about you.'
+
+'Style!' I repeated.
+
+'Yes,' he went on; 'you know how to use your feet; and you have good
+understandings.'
+
+I gathered from his glance that he referred to my nether limbs. We are
+all vertebrate animals; why seek to conceal the fact?
+
+'I fail to follow you,' I answered frigidly; for I really didn't know
+what the man might say next.
+
+[Illustration: SEEMS I DIDN'T MAKE MUCH OF A JOB OF IT.]
+
+'That's so!' he replied. 'It was _I_ that followed _you_; seems I didn't
+make much of a job of it, either, anyway.'
+
+I mounted my machine again. 'Well, good morning,' I said, coldy. 'I am
+much obliged for your kind assistance; but your remark was fictitious,
+and I desire to go on unaccompanied.'
+
+He held up his hand in warning. 'You ain't going!' he cried, horrified.
+'You ain't going without hearing me! I mean business, say! Don't chuck
+away good money like that. I tell you, there's dollars in it.'
+
+'In what?' I asked, still moving on, but curious. On the slope, if need
+were, I could easily distance him.
+
+'Why, in this cycling of yours,' he replied. 'You're jest about the very
+woman I'm looking for, miss. Lithe--that's what I call you. I kin put
+you in the way of making your pile, I kin. This is a _bon�-fide_ offer.
+No flies on _my_ business! You decline it? Prejudice! Injures you;
+injures me! Be reasonable anyway!'
+
+I looked round and laughed. 'Formulate yourself,' I said, briefly.
+
+He rose to it like a man. 'Meet me at Fraunheim; corner by the Post
+Office; ten o'clock to-morrow morning,' he shouted, as I rode off, 'and
+ef I don't convince you there's money in this job, my name's not Cyrus
+W. Hitchcock.'
+
+Something about his keen, unlovely face impressed me with a sense of his
+underlying honesty. 'Very well,' I answered,'I'll come, if you follow me
+no further.' I reflected that Fraunheim was a populous village, and that
+only beyond it did the mountain road over the Taunus begin to grow
+lonely. If he wished to cut my throat, I was well within reach of the
+resources of civilisation.
+
+When I got home to the Abode of Blighted Fraus that evening, I debated
+seriously with myself whether or not I should accept Mr. Cyrus W.
+Hitchcock's mysterious invitation. Prudence said _no_; curiosity said
+_yes_; I put the question to a meeting of one; and, since I am a
+daughter of Eve, curiosity had it. Carried unanimously. I think I might
+have hesitated, indeed, had it not been for the Blighted Fraus. Their
+talk was of dinner and of the digestive process; they were critics of
+digestion. They each of them sat so complacently through the
+evening--solid and stolid, stodgy and podgy, stuffed comatose images,
+knitting white woollen shawls, to throw over their capacious shoulders
+at _table d'h�te_--and they purred with such content in their
+middle-aged rotundity that I made up my mind I must take warning
+betimes, and avoid their temptations to adipose deposit. I prefer to
+grow upwards; the Frau grows sideways. Better get my throat cut by an
+American desperado, in my pursuit of romance, than settle down on a rock
+like a placid fat oyster. I am not by nature sessile.
+
+Adventures are to the adventurous. They abound on every side; but only
+the chosen few have the courage to embrace them. And they will not come
+to you: you must go out to seek them. Then they meet you half-way, and
+rush into your arms, for they know their true lovers. There were eight
+Blighted Fraus at the Home for Lost Ideals, and I could tell by simple
+inspection that they had not had an average of half an adventure per
+lifetime between them. They sat and knitted still, like Awful Examples.
+
+If I had declined to meet Mr. Hitchcock at Fraunheim, I know not what
+changes it might have induced in my life. I might now be knitting. But I
+went boldly forth, on a voyage of exploration, prepared to accept aught
+that fate held in store for me.
+
+As Mr. Hitchcock had assured me there was money in his offer, I felt
+justified in speculating. I expended another three marks on the hire of
+a bicycle, though I ran the risk thereby of going perhaps without
+Monday's dinner. That showed my vocation. The Blighted Fraus, I felt
+sure, would have clung to their dinner at all hazards.
+
+When I arrived at Fraunheim, I found my alert American punctually there
+before me. He raised his crush hat with awkward politeness. I could see
+he was little accustomed to ladies' society. Then he pointed to a close
+cab in which he had reached the village.
+
+'I've got it inside,' he whispered, in a confidential tone. 'I couldn't
+let 'em ketch sight of it. You see, there's dollars in it.'
+
+'What have you got inside?' I asked, suspiciously, drawing back. I don't
+know why, but the word 'it' somehow suggested a corpse. I began to grow
+frightened.
+
+'Why, the wheel, of course,' he answered. 'Ain't you come here to ride
+it?'
+
+'Oh, the wheel?' I echoed, vaguely, pretending to look wise; but
+unaware, as yet, that that word was the accepted Americanism for a
+cycle. 'And I have come to ride it?'
+
+'Why, certainly,' he replied, jerking his hand towards the cab. 'But we
+mustn't start right here. This thing has got to be kept dark, don't you
+see, till the last day.'
+
+Till the last day! That was ominous. It sounded like monomania. So
+ghostly and elusive! I began to suspect my American ally of being a
+dangerous madman.
+
+'Jest you wheel away a bit up the hill,' he went on, 'out o' sight of
+the folks, and I'll fetch her along to you.'
+
+'Her?' I cried. 'Who?' For the man bewildered me.
+
+'Why, the wheel, miss! _You_ understand! This is business, you bet! And
+you're jest the right woman!'
+
+He motioned me on. Urged by a sort of spell, I remounted my machine and
+rode out of the village. He followed, on the box-seat of his cab. Then,
+when we had left the world well behind, and stood among the sun-smitten
+boles of the pine-trees, he opened the door mysteriously, and produced
+from the vehicle a very odd-looking bicycle.
+
+It was clumsy to look at. It differed immensely, in many particulars,
+from any machine I had yet seen or ridden.
+
+The strenuous American fondled it for a moment with his hand, as if it
+were a pet child. Then he mounted nimbly. Pride shone in his eye. I saw
+in a second he was a fond inventor.
+
+He rode a few yards on. Next he turned to me eagerly. 'This ma-chine,'
+he said, in an impressive voice, '_is_ pro-pelled _by_ an eccentric.'
+Like all his countrymen, he laid most stress on unaccented syllables.
+
+'Oh, I knew you were an eccentric,' I said, 'the moment I set eyes upon
+you.'
+
+He surveyed me gravely. 'You misunderstand me, miss,' he corrected.
+'_When_ I say an eccentric, I mean, a crank.'
+
+'They are much the same thing,' I answered, briskly. 'Though I confess I
+would hardly have applied so rude a word as _crank_ to you.'
+
+He looked me over suspiciously, as if I were trying to make game of him,
+but my face was sphinx-like. So he brought the machine a yard or two
+nearer, and explained its construction to me. He was quite right: it
+_was_ driven by a crank. It had no chain, but was moved by a pedal,
+working narrowly up and down, and attached to a rigid bar, which
+impelled the wheels by means of an eccentric.
+
+Besides this, it had a curious device for altering the gearing
+automatically while one rode, so as to enable one to adapt it to the
+varying slope in mounting hills. This part of the mechanism he explained
+to me elaborately. There was a gauge in front which allowed one to sight
+the steepness of the slope by mere inspection; and according as the
+gauge marked one, two, three, or four, as its gradient on the scale,
+the rider pressed a button on the handle-bar with his left hand once,
+twice, thrice, or four times, so that the gearing adapted itself without
+an effort to the rise in the surface. Besides, there were devices for
+rigidity and compensation. Altogether, it was a most apt and ingenious
+piece of mechanism. I did not wonder he was proud of it.
+
+'Get up and ride, miss,' he said in a persuasive voice.
+
+I did as I was bid. To my immense surprise, I ran up the steep hill as
+smoothly and easily as if it were a perfectly-laid level.
+
+'Goes nicely, doesn't she?' Mr. Hitchcock murmured, rubbing his hands.
+
+'Beautifully,' I answered. 'One could ride such a machine up Mont Blanc,
+I should fancy.'
+
+He stroked his chin with nervous fingers. 'It ought to knock 'em,' he
+said, in an eager voice. 'It's geared to run up most anything in
+creation.'
+
+'How steep?'
+
+'One foot in three.'
+
+'That's good.'
+
+'Yes. It'll climb Mount Washington.'
+
+'What do you call it?' I asked.
+
+He looked me over with close scrutiny.
+
+'In Amurrica,' he said, slowly, 'we call it the Great Manitou, because
+it kin do pretty well what it chooses; but in Europe, I am thinking of
+calling it the Martin Conway or the Whymper, or something like that.'
+
+'Why so?'
+
+'Well, because it's a famous mountain climber.'
+
+'I see,' I said. 'With such a machine you'll put a notice on the
+Matterhorn, "This hill is dangerous to cyclists."'
+
+He laughed low to himself, and rubbed his hands again. 'You'll do,
+miss,' he said. 'You're the right sort, you are. The moment I seen you,
+I thought we two could do a trade together. Benefits me; benefits you. A
+mutual advantage. Reciprocity is the soul of business. You hev some go
+in you, you hev. There's money in your feet. You'll give these Meinherrs
+fits. You'll take the clear-starch out of them.'
+
+'I fail to catch on,' I answered, speaking his own dialect to humour
+him.
+
+'Oh, you'll get there all the same,' he replied, stroking his machine
+meanwhile. 'It was a squirrel, it was!' (He pronounced it _squirl_.) 'It
+'ud run up a tree ef it wanted, wouldn't it?' He was talking to it now
+as if it were a dog or a baby. 'There, there, it mustn't kick; it was a
+frisky little thing! Jest you step up on it, miss, and have a go at that
+there mountain.'
+
+I stepped up and had a 'go.' The machine bounded forward like an agile
+greyhound. You had but to touch it, and it ran of itself. Never had I
+ridden so vivacious, so animated a cycle. I returned to him, sailing,
+with the gradient reversed. The Manitou glided smoothly, as on a gentle
+slope, without the need for back-pedalling.
+
+'It soars!' he remarked with enthusiasm.
+
+'Balloons are at discount beside it,' I answered.
+
+'Now you want to know about this business, I guess,' he went on. 'You
+want to know jest where the reciprocity comes in, anyhow?'
+
+'I am ready to hear you expound,' I admitted, smiling.
+
+'Oh, it ain't all on one side,' he continued, eyeing his machine at an
+angle with parental affection. 'I'm a-going to make your fortune right
+here. You shall ride her for me on the last day; and ef you pull this
+thing off, don't you be scared that I won't treat you handsome.'
+
+'If you were a little more succinct,' I said, gravely, 'we should get
+forrader faster.'
+
+'Perhaps you wonder,' he put in, 'that with money on it like this, I
+should intrust the job _into_ the hands of a female.' I winced, but was
+silent. 'Well, it's like this, don't you see; ef a female wins, it makes
+success all the more striking and con-spicuous. The world to-day _is_
+ruled _by_ adver_tize_ment.'
+
+I could stand it no longer. 'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, with dignity, 'I
+haven't the remotest idea what on earth you are talking about.'
+
+He gazed at me with surprise. 'What?' he exclaimed, at last. 'And you
+kin cycle like that! Not know what all the cycling world is mad about!
+Why, you don't mean to tell me you're not a pro-fessional?'
+
+I enlightened him at once as to my position in society, which was
+respectable, if not lucrative. His face fell somewhat. 'High-toned, eh?
+Still, you'd run all the same, wouldn't you?' he inquired.
+
+'Run for what?' I asked, innocently. 'Parliament? The Presidency? The
+Frankfort Town Council?'
+
+He had difficulty in fathoming the depths of my ignorance. But by
+degrees I understood him. It seemed that the German Imperial and
+Prussian Royal Governments had offered a Kaiserly and Kingly prize for
+the best military bicycle; the course to be run over the Taunus, from
+Frankfort to Limburg; the winning machine to get the equivalent of a
+thousand pounds; each firm to supply its own make and rider. The 'last
+day' was Saturday next; and the Great Manitou was the dark horse of the
+contest.
+
+Then all was clear as day to me. Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock was keeping his
+machine a profound secret; he wanted a woman to ride it, so that his
+triumph might be the more complete; and the moment he saw me pedal up
+the hill, in trying to avoid him, he recognised at once that I was that
+woman.
+
+I recognised it too. 'Twas a pre-ordained harmony. After two or three
+trials I felt that the Manitou was built for me, and I was built for the
+Manitou. We ran together like parts of one mechanism. I was always famed
+for my circular ankle-action; and in this new machine, ankle-action was
+everything. Strength of limb counted for naught; what told was the power
+of 'clawing up again' promptly. I possess that power: I have prehistoric
+feet: my remote progenitors must certainly have been tree-haunting
+monkeys.
+
+We arranged terms then and there.
+
+'You accept?'
+
+'Implicitly.'
+
+If I pulled off the race, I was to have fifty pounds. If I didn't, I was
+to have five. 'It ain't only your skill, you see,' Mr. Hitchcock said,
+with frank commercialism. 'It's your personal attractiveness as well
+that I go upon. That's an element to consider in business relations.'
+
+'My face is my fortune,' I answered, gravely. He nodded acquiescence.
+
+Till Saturday, then, I was free. Meanwhile, I trained, and practised
+quietly with the Manitou, in sequestered parts of the hills. I also took
+spells, turn about, at the St�del Institute. I like to intersperse
+culture and athletics. I know something about athletics, and hope in
+time to acquire a taste for culture. 'Tis expected of a Girton girl,
+though my own accomplishments run rather towards rowing, punting,
+bicycling.
+
+On Saturday, I confess, I rose with great misgivings. I was not a
+professional; and to find oneself practically backed for a thousand
+pounds in a race against men is a trifle disquieting. Still, having
+once put my hand to the plough, I felt I was bound to pull it through
+somehow. I dressed my hair neatly, in a very tight coil. I ate a light
+breakfast, eschewing the fried sausages which the Blighted Fraus pressed
+upon my notice, and satisfying myself with a gently-boiled egg and some
+toast and coffee. I always found I rowed best at Cambridge on the
+lightest diet; in my opinion, the raw beef _r�gime_ is a serious error
+in training.
+
+At a minute or two before eleven I turned up at the Schiller Platz in my
+short serge dress and cycling jacket. The great square was thronged with
+spectators to see us start; the police made a lane through their midst
+for the riders. My backer had advised me to come to the post as late as
+possible, 'For I have entered your name,' he said, 'simply as Lois
+Cayley. These Deutschers don't think but what you're a man and a
+brother. But I am apprehensive of con-tingencies. When you put in a show
+they'll try to raise objections to you on account of your being a
+female. There won't be much time, though, and I shall rush the
+objections. Once they let you run and win, it don't matter to me whether
+I get the twenty thousand marks or not. It's the adver_tize_ment that
+tells. Jest you mark my words, miss, and don't you make no mistake about
+it--the world to-day is governed by adver_tize_ment.'
+
+So I turned up at the last moment, and cast a timid glance at my
+competitors. They were all men, of course, and two of them were German
+officers in a sort of undress cycling uniform. They eyed me
+superciliously. One of them went up and spoke to the Herr
+Over-Superintendent who had charge of the contest. I understood him to
+be lodging an objection against a mere woman taking part in the race.
+The Herr Over-Superintendent, a bulky official, came up beside me and
+perpended visibly. He bent his big brows to it. 'Twas appalling to
+observe the measurable amount of Teutonic cerebration going on under
+cover of his round, green glasses. He was perpending for some minutes.
+Time was almost up. Then he turned to Mr. Hitchcock, having finally made
+up his colossal mind, and murmured rudely, 'The woman cannot compete.'
+
+'Why not?' I inquired, in my very sweetest German, with an angelic
+smile, though my heart trembled.
+
+'Warum nicht? Because the word "rider" in the Kaiserly and Kingly
+for-this-contest-provided decree is distinctly in the masculine gender
+stated.'
+
+'Pardon me, Herr Over-Superintendent,' I replied, pulling out a copy of
+Law 97 on the subject, with which I had duly provided myself, 'if you
+will to Section 45 of the Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act your
+attention turn, you will find it therein expressly enacted that unless
+any clause be anywhere to the contrary inserted, the word "rider," in
+the masculine gender put, shall here the word "rideress" in the feminine
+to embrace be considered.'
+
+For, anticipating this objection, I had taken the precaution to look the
+legal question up beforehand.
+
+'That is true,' the Herr Over-Superintendent observed, in a musing
+voice, gazing down at me with relenting eyes. 'The masculine habitually
+embraces the feminine.' And he brought his massive intellect to bear
+upon the problem once more with prodigious concentration.
+
+I seized my opportunity. 'Let me start, at least,' I urged, holding out
+the Act. 'If I win, you can the matter more fully with the Kaiserly and
+Kingly Governments hereafter argue out.'
+
+'I guess this will be an international affair,' Mr. Hitchcock remarked,
+well pleased. 'It would be a first-rate adver_tize_ment for the Great
+Manitou ef England and Germany were to make the question into a _casus
+belli_. The United States could look on, and pocket the chestnuts.'
+
+'Two minutes to go,' the official starter with the watch called out.
+
+'Fall in, then, Fr�ulein Engl�nderin,' the Herr Over-Superintendent
+observed, without prejudice, waving me into line. He pinned a badge with
+a large number, 7, on my dress. 'The Kaiserly and Kingly Governments
+shall on the affair of the starting's legality hereafter on my report
+more at leisure pass judgment.'
+
+The lieutenant in undress uniform drew back a little.
+
+'Oh, if this is to be woman's play,' he muttered, 'then can a Prussian
+officer himself by competing not into contempt bring.'
+
+I dropped a little curtsy. 'If the Herr Lieutenant is afraid even to
+_enter_ against an Englishwoman----' I said, smiling.
+
+He came up to the scratch sullenly. 'One minute to go!' called out the
+starter.
+
+We were all on the alert. There was a pause; a deep breath. I was
+horribly frightened, but I tried to look calm. Then sharp and quick came
+the one word 'Go!' And like arrows from a bow, off we all started.
+
+I had ridden over the whole course the day but one before, on a mountain
+pony, with an observant eye and my sedulous American--rising at five
+o'clock, so as not to excite undue attention; and I therefore knew
+beforehand the exact route we were to follow; but I confess when I saw
+the Prussian lieutenant and one of my other competitors dash forward at
+a pace that simply astonished me, that fifty pounds seemed to melt away
+in the dim abyss of the Ewigkeit. I gave up all for lost. I could never
+make the running against such practised cyclists.
+
+[Illustration: DON'T SCORCH, MISS; DON'T SCORCH.]
+
+However, we all turned out into the open road which leads across the
+plain and down the Main valley, in the direction of Mayence. For the
+first ten miles or so, it is a dusty level. The surface is perfect; but
+'twas a blinding white thread. As I toiled along it, that broiling June
+day, I could hear the voice of my backer, who followed on horseback,
+exhorting me in loud tones, 'Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch; never
+mind ef you lose sight of 'em. Keep your wind; that's the point. The
+wind, the wind's everything. Let 'em beat you on the level; you'll catch
+'em up fast enough when you get on the Taunus!'
+
+But in spite of his encouragement, I almost lost heart as I saw one
+after another of my opponents' backs disappear in the distance, till at
+last I was left toiling along the bare white road alone, in a
+shower-bath of sunlight, with just a dense cloud of dust rising gray far
+ahead of me. My head swam. It repented me of my boldness.
+
+Then the riders on horseback began to grumble; for by police regulation
+they were not allowed to pass the hindmost of the cyclists; and they
+were kept back by my presence from following up their special champions.
+'Give it up, Fr�ulein, give it up!' they cried. 'You're beaten. Let us
+pass and get forward.' But at the self-same moment, I heard the shrill
+voice of my American friend whooping aloud across the din, 'Don't you do
+nothing of the sort, miss! You stick to it, and keep your wind! It's the
+wind that wins! Them Germans won't be worth a cent on the high slopes,
+anyway!'
+
+Encouraged by his voice, I worked steadily on, neither scorching nor
+relaxing, but maintaining an even pace at my natural pitch under the
+broiling sunshine. Heat rose in waves on my face from the road below; in
+the thin white dust, the accusing tracks of six wheels confronted me.
+Still I kept on following them, till I reached the town of H�chst--nine
+miles from Frankfort. Soldiers along the route were timing us at
+intervals with chronometers, and noting our numbers. As I rattled over
+the paved High Street, I called aloud to one of them. 'How far ahead the
+last man?'
+
+He shouted back, good-humouredly: 'Four minutes, Fr�ulein.'
+
+Again I lost heart. Then I mounted a slight slope, and felt how easily
+the Manitou moved up the gradient. From its summit I could note a long
+gray cloud of dust rolling steadily onward down the hill towards
+Hattersheim.
+
+I coasted down, with my feet up, and a slight breeze just cooling me.
+Mr. Hitchcock, behind, called out, full-throated, from his seat, 'No
+hurry! No flurry! Take your time! Take--your--time, miss!'
+
+Over the bridge at Hattersheim you turn to the right abruptly, and begin
+to mount by the side of a pretty little stream, the Schwarzbach, which
+runs brawling over rocks down the Taunus from Eppstein. By this time the
+excitement had somewhat cooled down for the moment; I was getting
+reconciled to be beaten on the level, and began to realise that my
+chances would be best as we approached the steepest bits of the mountain
+road about Niederhausen. So I positively plucked up heart to look about
+me and enjoy the scenery. With hair flying behind--that coil had played
+me false--I swept through Hofheim, a pleasant little village at the
+mouth of a grassy valley inclosed by wooded slopes, the Schwarzbach
+making cool music in the glen below as I mounted beside it. Clambering
+larches, like huge candelabra, stood out on the ridge, silhouetted
+against the skyline.
+
+'How far ahead the last man?' I cried to the recording soldier. He
+answered me back, 'Two minutes, Fr�ulein.'
+
+I was gaining on them; I was gaining! I thundered across the
+Schwarzbach, by half-a-dozen clamorous little iron bridges, making easy
+time now, and with my feet working as if they were themselves an
+integral part of the machinery. Up, up, up; it looked a vertical ascent;
+the Manitou glided well in its oil-bath at its half-way gearing. I rode
+for dear life. At sixteen miles, Lorsbach; at eighteen, Eppstein; the
+road still rising. 'How far ahead the last man?' 'Just round the corner,
+Fr�ulein!'
+
+I put on a little steam. Sure enough, round the corner I caught sight of
+his back. With a spurt, I passed him--a dust-covered soul, very hot and
+uncomfortable. He had not kept his wind; I flew past him like a
+whirlwind. But, oh, how sultry hot in that sweltering, close valley! A
+pretty little town, Eppstein, with its medi�val castle perched high on a
+craggy rock. I owed it some gratitude, I felt, as I left it behind, for
+'twas here that I came up with the tail-end of my opponents.
+
+That one victory cheered me. So far, our route had lain along the
+well-made but dusty high road in the steaming valley; at Nieder-Josbach,
+two miles on, we quitted the road abruptly, by the course marked out for
+us, and turned up a mountain path, only wide enough for two cycles
+abreast--a path that clambered towards the higher slopes of the Taunus.
+That was arranged on purpose--for this was no fair-weather show, but a
+practical trial for military bicycles, under the conditions they might
+meet with in actual warfare. It was rugged riding: black walls of pine
+rose steep on either hand; the ground was uncertain. Our path mounted
+sharply from the first; the steeper the better. By the time I had
+reached Ober-Josbach, nestling high among larch-woods, I had distanced
+all but two of my opponents. It was cooler now, too. As I passed the
+hamlet my cry altered.
+
+[Illustration: HOW FAR AHEAD THE FIRST MAN?]
+
+'How far ahead the first man?'.
+
+'Two minutes, Fr�ulein,'
+
+'A civilian?'
+
+'No, no; a Prussian officer.'
+
+The Herr Lieutenant led, then. For Old England's sake, I felt I must
+beat him.
+
+The steepest slope of all lay in the next two miles. If I were going to
+win I must pass these two there, for my advantage lay all in the climb;
+if it came to coasting, the men's mere weight scored a point in their
+favour. Bump, crash, jolt! I pedalled away like a machine; the Manitou
+sobbed; my ankles flew round so that I scarcely felt them. But the road
+was rough and scarred with waterways--ruts turned by rain to runnels. At
+half a mile, after a desperate struggle among sand and pebbles, I passed
+the second man; just ahead, the Prussian officer looked round and saw
+me. 'Thunder-weather! you there, Engl�nderin?' he cried, darting me a
+look of unchivalrous dislike, such as only your sentimental German can
+cast at a woman.
+
+[Illustration: I AM HERE BEHIND YOU, HERR LIEUTENANT.]
+
+'Yes, I am here, behind you, Herr Lieutenant,' I answered, putting on a
+spurt; 'and I hope next to be before you.'
+
+He answered not a word, but worked his hardest. So did I. He bent
+forward: I sat erect on my Manitou, pulling hard at my handles. Now, my
+front wheel was upon him. It reached his pedal. We were abreast. He had
+a narrow thread of solid path, and he forced me into a runnel. Still I
+gained. He swerved: I think he tried to foul me. But the slope was too
+steep; his attempt recoiled on himself; he ran against the rock at the
+side and almost overbalanced. That second lost him. I waved my hand as I
+sailed ahead. 'Good morning,' I cried, gaily. 'See you again at
+Limburg!'
+
+From the top of the slope I put my feet up and flew down into Idstein. A
+thunder-shower burst: I was glad of the cool of it. It laid the dust. I
+regained the high road. From that moment, save for the risk of
+sideslips, 'twas easy running--just an undulating line with occasional
+ups and downs; but I saw no more of my pursuers till, twenty-two
+kilometres farther on, I rattled on the cobble-paved causeway into
+Limburg. I had covered the forty-six miles in quick time for a mountain
+climb. As I crossed the bridge over the Lahn, to my immense surprise,
+Mr. Hitchcock waved his arms, all excitement, to greet me. He had taken
+the train on from Eppstein, it seemed, and got there before me. As I
+dismounted at the Cathedral, which was our appointed end, and gave my
+badge to the soldier, he rushed up and shook my hand. 'Fifty pounds!' he
+cried. 'Fifty pounds! How's that for the great Anglo-Saxon race! And
+hooray for the Manitou!'
+
+The second man, the civilian, rode in, wet and draggled, forty seconds
+later. As for the Herr Lieutenant, a disappointed man, he fell out by
+the way, alleging a puncture. I believe he was ashamed to admit the fact
+that he had been beaten in open fight by the objurgated Engl�nderin.
+
+So the end of it was, I was now a woman of means, with fifty pounds of
+my own to my credit.
+
+I lunched with my backer royally at the best inn in Limburg.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT
+
+
+My eccentric American had assured me that if I won the great race for
+him I need not be 'skeert' lest he should fail to treat me well; and to
+do him justice, I must admit that he kept his word magnanimously. While
+we sat at lunch in the cosy hotel at Limburg he counted out and paid me
+in hand the fifty good gold pieces he had promised me. 'Whether these
+Deutschers fork out my twenty thousand marks or not,' he said, in his
+brisk way, 'it don't much matter. I shall get the contract, and I shall
+hev gotten the adver_tize_ment!'
+
+'Why do you start your bicycles in Germany, though?' I asked,
+innocently. 'I should have thought myself there was so much a better
+chance of selling them in England.'
+
+[Illustration: LET THEM BOOM OR BUST ON IT.]
+
+He closed one eye, and looked abstractedly at the light through his
+glass of pale yellow Brauneberger with the other. 'England? Yes,
+England! Well, see, miss, you hev not been raised in business. Business
+is business. The way to do it in Germany is--to manufacture for
+yourself: and I've got my works started right here in Frankfort. The way
+to do it in England--where capital's dirt cheap--is, to sell your patent
+for every cent it's worth to an English company, and let them boom or
+bust on it.'
+
+'I see,' I said, catching at it. 'The principle's as clear as mud, the
+moment you point it out to one. An English company will pay you well for
+the concession, and work for a smaller return on its investment than you
+Americans are content to receive on your capital!'
+
+'That's so! You hit it in one, miss! Which will you take, a cigar or a
+cocoa-nut?'
+
+I smiled. 'And what do you think you will call the machine in Europe?'
+
+He gazed hard at me, and stroked his straw-coloured moustache. 'Well,
+what do _you_ think of the _Lois Cayley_?'
+
+'For Heaven's sake, no!' I cried, fervently. 'Mr. Hitchcock, I implore
+you!'
+
+He smiled pity for my weakness. 'Ah, high-toned again?' he repeated, as
+if it were some natural malformation under which I laboured. 'Oh, ef you
+don't like it, miss, we'll say no more about it. I am a gentleman, I am.
+What's the matter with the _Excelsior_?'
+
+'Nothing, except that it's very bad Latin,' I objected.
+
+'That may be so; but it's very good business.'
+
+He paused and mused, then he murmured low to himself, '"When through an
+Alpine village passed." That's where the idea of the _Excelsior_ comes
+in; see? "It goes up Mont Blanc," you said yourself. "Through snow and
+ice, A cycle with the strange device, Excelsior!"'
+
+'If I were you,' I said, 'I would stick to the name _Manitou_. It's
+original, and it's distinctive.'
+
+'Think so? Then chalk it up; the thing's done. You may not be aware of
+it, miss, but you are a lady for whose opinion in such matters I hev a
+high regard. _And_ you understand Europe. I do not. I admit it.
+Everything seems to me to be _verboten_ in Germany; and everything else
+to be _bad form_ in England.'
+
+We walked down the steps together. 'What a picturesque old town!' I
+said, looking round me, well pleased. Its beauty appealed to me, for I
+had fifty pounds in pocket, and I had lunched sumptuously.
+
+'_Old_ town?' he repeated, gazing with a blank stare. 'You call this
+town _old_, do you?'
+
+'Why, of course! Just look at the cathedral! Eight hundred years old, at
+least!'
+
+He ran his eye down the streets, dissatisfied.
+
+'Well, ef this town is old,' he said at last, with a snap of his
+fingers, 'it's precious little for its age.' And he strode away towards
+the railway station.
+
+'What about the bicycle?' I asked; for it lay, a silent victor, against
+the railing of the steps, surrounded by a crowd of inquiring Teutons.
+
+He glanced at it carelessly. 'Oh, the wheel?' he said. 'You may keep
+it.'
+
+He said it so exactly in the tone in which one tells a waiter he may
+keep the change, that I resented the impertinence. 'No, thank you,' I
+answered. 'I do not require it.'
+
+He gazed at me, open-mouthed. 'What? Put my foot in it again?' he
+interposed. 'Not high-toned enough? Eh? Now, I do regret it. No offence
+meant, miss, nor none need be taken. What I meant to in-sinuate was
+this: you hev won the big race for me. Folks will notice you and talk
+about you at Frankfort. Ef you ride a Manitou, that'll make 'em talk the
+more. A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits me. You get the wheel;
+I get the adver_tize_ment.'
+
+I saw that reciprocity was the lodestar of his life. 'Very well, Mr.
+Hitchcock,' I said, pocketing my pride, 'I'll accept the machine, and
+I'll ride it.'
+
+Then a light dawned upon me. I saw eventualities. 'Look here,' I went
+on, innocently--recollect, I was a girl just fresh from Girton--'I am
+thinking of going on very soon to Switzerland. Now, why shouldn't I do
+this--try to sell your machines, or, rather, take orders for them, from
+anybody that admires them? A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits
+me. You sell your wheels; I get----'
+
+He stared at me. 'The commission?'
+
+'I don't know what commission means,' I answered, somewhat at sea as to
+the name; 'but I thought it might be worth your while, till the Manitou
+becomes better known, to pay me, say, ten per cent on all orders I
+brought you.'
+
+His face was one broad smile. 'I do admire at you, miss,' he cried,
+standing still to inspect me. 'You may not know the meaning of the
+_word_ commission; but durned ef you haven't got a hang of the _thing_
+itself that would do honour to a Wall Street operator, anyway.'
+
+'Then that's business?' I asked, eagerly; for I beheld vistas.
+
+'Business?' he repeated. 'Yes, that's jest about the size of
+it--business. Adver_tize_ment, miss, may be the soul of commerce, but
+Commission's its body. You go in and win. Ten per cent on every order
+you send me!'
+
+He insisted on taking my ticket back to Frankfort. 'My affair, miss; my
+affair!' There was no gainsaying him. He was immensely elated. 'The
+biggest thing in cycles since Dunlop tyres,' he repeated. 'And
+to-morrow, they'll give me advertizements gratis in every newspaper!'
+
+Next morning, he came round to call on me at the Abode of Unclaimed
+Domestic Angels. He was explicit and generous. 'Look here, miss,' he
+began; 'I didn't do fair by you when you interviewed me about your
+agency last evening. I took advantage, _at_ the time, _of_ your youth
+and inexperience. You suggested 10 per cent _as_ the amount of your
+commission on sales you might effect; and I jumped at it. That was
+conduct unworthy _of_ a gentleman. Now, I will not deceive you. The
+ordinary commission on transactions in wheels is 25 per cent. I am going
+to sell the Manitou retail at twenty English pounds apiece. You shall
+hev your 25 per cent on all orders.'
+
+'Five pounds for every machine I sell?' I exclaimed, overjoyed.
+
+He nodded. 'That's so.'
+
+I was simply amazed at this magnificent prospect. 'The cycle trade must
+be honeycombed with middlemen's profits!' I cried; for I had my
+misgivings.
+
+'That's so,' he replied again. 'Then jest you take and be a
+middlewoman.'
+
+'But, as a consistent socialist----'
+
+'It is your duty to fleece the capitalist and the consumer. A mutual
+benefit--triangular this time. I get the order, the public gets the
+machine, and you get the commission. I am richer, you are richer, and
+the public is mounted on much the best wheel ever yet invented.'
+
+'That sounds plausible,' I admitted. 'I shall try it on in Switzerland.
+I shall run up steep hills whenever I see any likely customers looking
+on; then I shall stop and ask them the time, as if quite accidentally.'
+
+He rubbed his hands. 'You take to business like a young duck to the
+water,' he exclaimed, admiringly. 'That's the way to rake 'em in! You go
+up and say to them, "Why not investigate? We defy competition. Leave the
+drudgery of walking uphill beside your cycle! Progress is the order of
+the day. Use modern methods! This is the age of the telegraph, the
+telephone, _and_ the typewriter. You kin no longer afford to go on with
+an antiquated, ante-diluvian, armour-plated wheel. Invest in a
+Hill-Climber, the last and lightest product of evvolootion. _Is_ it
+common-sense to buy an old-style, unautomatic, single-geared,
+inconvertible ten-ton machine, when for the same money or less you can
+purchase the self-acting Manitou, a priceless gem, as light as a
+feather, with all the most recent additions and improvements? Be
+reasonable! Get the best!" That's the style to fetch 'em!'
+
+I laughed, in spite of myself. 'Oh, Mr. Hitchcock,' I burst out, 'that's
+not _my_ style at all. I shall say, simply "This is a lovely new
+bicycle. You can see for yourself how it climbs hills. Try it, if you
+wish. It skims like a swallow. And I get what they call five pounds
+commission on every one I can sell of them!" I think that way of dealing
+is much more likely to bring you in orders.'
+
+His admiration was undisguised. 'Well, I _do_ call you a woman of
+business, miss,' he cried. 'You see it at a glance. That's so. That's
+the right kind of thing to rope in the Europeans. Some originality about
+you. You take 'em on their own ground. You've got the draw on them, you
+hev. I like your system. You'll jest haul in the dollars!'
+
+'I hope so,' I said, fervently; for I had evolved in my own mind, oh,
+such a _lovely_ scheme for Elsie Petheridge's holidays!
+
+He gazed at me once more. 'Ef only I could get hold of a woman of
+business like you to soar through life with me,' he murmured.
+
+[Illustration: HIS OPEN ADMIRATION WAS GETTING QUITE EMBARRASSING.]
+
+I grew interested in my shoes. His open admiration was getting quite
+embarrassing.
+
+He paused a minute. Then he went on: 'Well, what do you say to it?'
+
+'To what?' I asked, amazed.
+
+'To my proposition--my offer.'
+
+'I-- I don't understand,' I stammered out bewildered. 'The 25 per cent,
+you mean?'
+
+'No, the de-votion of a lifetime,' he answered, looking sideways at me.
+'Miss Cayley, when a business man advances a proposition, commercial or
+otherwise, he advances it because he means it. He asks a prompt reply.
+Your time is valuable. So is mine. _Are_ you prepared to consider it?'
+
+'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, drawing back, 'I think you misunderstand. I
+think you do not realise----'
+
+'All right, miss,' he answered, promptly, though with a disappointed
+air. 'Ef it kin not be managed, it kin not be managed. I understand your
+European ex-clusiveness. I know your prejudices. But this little episode
+need not antagonise with the normal course of ordinary business. I
+respect you, Miss Cayley. You are a lady _of_ intelligence, _of_
+initiative, and _of_ high-toned culture. I will wish you good day for
+the present, without further words; and I shall be happy at any time to
+receive your orders on the usual commission.'
+
+He backed out and was gone. He was so honestly blunt that I really quite
+liked him.
+
+Next day, I bade a tearless farewell to the Blighted Fraus. When I told
+those eight phlegmatic souls I was going, they all said 'So!' much as
+they had said 'So!' to every previous remark I had been moved to make
+to them. 'So' is capital garnishing: but viewed as a staple of
+conversation, I find it a trifle vapid, not to say monotonous.
+
+I set out on my wanderings, therefore, to go round the world on my own
+account and my own Manitou, which last I grew to love in time with a
+love passing the love of Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock. I carried the strict
+necessary before me in a small waterproof bicycling valise; but I sent
+on the portmanteau containing my whole estate, real or personal, to some
+point in advance which I hoped to reach from time to time in a day or
+two. My first day's journey was along a pleasant road from Frankfort to
+Heidelberg, some fifty-four miles in all, skirting the mountains the
+greater part of the way; the Manitou took the ups and downs so easily
+that I diverged at intervals, to choose side-paths over the wooded
+hills. I arrived at Heidelberg as fresh as a daisy, my mount not having
+turned a hair meanwhile--a favourite expression of cyclists which
+carries all the more conviction to an impartial mind because of the
+machine being obviously hairless. Thence I journeyed on by easy stages
+to Karlsruhe, Baden, Appenweier, and Offenburg; where I set my front
+wheel resolutely for the Black Forest. It is the prettiest and most
+picturesque route to Switzerland; and, being also the hilliest, it would
+afford me, I thought, the best opportunity for showing off the Manitou's
+paces, and trying my prentice hand as an amateur cycle-agent.
+
+From the quaint little Black Eagle at Offenburg, however, before I
+dashed into the Forest, I sent off a letter to Elsie Petheridge, setting
+forth my lovely scheme for her summer holidays. She was delicate, poor
+child, and the London winters sorely tried her; I was now a millionaire,
+with the better part of fifty pounds in pocket, so I felt I could afford
+to be royal in my hospitality. As I was leaving Frankfort, I had called
+at a tourist agency and bought a second-class circular ticket from
+London to Lucerne and back-- I made it second-class because I am opposed
+on principle to excessive luxury, and also because it was three guineas
+cheaper. Even fifty pounds will not last for ever, though I could scarce
+believe it. (You see, I am not wholly free, after all, from the
+besetting British vice of prudence.) It was a mighty joy to me to be
+able to send this ticket to Elsie, at her lodgings in Bayswater,
+pointing out to her that now the whole mischief was done, and that if
+she would not come out as soon as her summer vacation began--'twas a
+point of honour with Elsie to say _vacation_, instead of _holidays_--to
+join me at Lucerne, and stop with me as my guest at a mountain
+_pension_, the ticket would be wasted. I love burning my boats; 'tis the
+only safe way for securing prompt action.
+
+Then I turned my flying wheels up into the Black Forest, growing weary
+of my loneliness--for it is not all jam to ride by oneself in
+Germany--and longing for Elsie to come out and join me. I loved to think
+how her dear pale cheeks would gain colour and tone on the hills about
+the Br�nig, where, for business reasons (so I said to myself with the
+conscious pride of the commission agent), I proposed to pass the greater
+part of the summer.
+
+From Offenburg to Hornberg the road makes a good stiff climb of
+twenty-seven miles, and some 1200 English feet in altitude, with a fair
+number of minor undulations on the way to diversify it. I will not
+describe the route, though it is one of the most beautiful I have ever
+travelled--rocky hills, ruined castles, huge, straight-stemmed pines
+that clamber up green slopes, or halt in sombre line against steeps of
+broken crag; the reality surpasses my poor powers of description. And
+the people I passed on the road were almost as quaint and picturesque
+in their way as the hills and the villages--the men in red-lined
+jackets; the women in black petticoats, short-waisted green bodices, and
+broad-brimmed straw hats with black-and-crimson pompons. But on the
+steepest gradient, just before reaching Hornberg, I got my first
+nibble--strange to say, from two German students; they wore Heidelberg
+caps, and were toiling up the incline with short, broken wind; I put on
+a spurt with the Manitou, and passed them easily. I did it just at first
+in pure wantonness of health and strength; but the moment I was clear of
+them, it occurred to the business half of me that here was a good chance
+of taking an order. Filled with this bright idea, I dismounted near the
+summit, and pretended to be engaged in lubricating my bearings; though
+as a matter of fact the Manitou runs in a bath of oil, self-feeding, and
+needs no looking after. Presently, my two Heidelbergers straggled
+up--hot, dusty, panting. Woman-like, I pretended to take no notice. One
+of them drew near and cast an eye on the Manitou.
+
+'That's a new machine, Fr�ulein,' he said, at last, with more politeness
+than I expected.
+
+'It is,' I answered, casually; 'the latest model. Climbs hills like no
+other.' And I feigned to mount and glide off towards Hornberg.
+
+'Stop a moment, pray, Fr�ulein,' my prospective buyer called out. 'Here,
+Heinrich, I wish you this new so excellent mountain-climbing machine,
+without chain propelled, more fully to investigate.'
+
+'I am going on to Hornberg,' I said, with mixed feminine guile and
+commercial strategy; 'still, if your friend wishes to look----'
+
+[Illustration: MINUTE INSPECTION.]
+
+They both jostled round it, with _achs_ innumerable, and, after minute
+inspection, pronounced its principle _wundersch�n_. 'Might I essay it?'
+Heinrich asked.
+
+'Oh, by all means,' I answered. He paced it down hill a few yards; then
+skimmed up again.
+
+'It is a bird!' he cried to his friend, with many guttural
+interjections. 'Like the eagle's flight, so soars it. Come, try the
+thing, Ludwig!'
+
+'You permit, Fr�ulein?'
+
+I nodded. They both mounted it several times. It behaved like a beauty.
+Then one of them asked, 'And where can man of this new so remarkable
+machine nearest by purchase himself make possessor?'
+
+'I am the Sole Agent,' I burst out, with swelling dignity. 'If you will
+give me your orders, with cash in hand for the amount, I will send the
+cycle, carriage paid, to any address you desire in Germany.'
+
+'You!' they exclaimed, incredulously. 'The Fr�ulein is pleased to be
+humorous!'
+
+'Oh, very well,' I answered, vaulting into the saddle; 'If you choose to
+doubt my word----' I waved one careless hand and coasted off.
+'Good-morning, meine Herren.'
+
+They lumbered after me on their ramshackled traction-engines. 'Pardon,
+Fr�ulein! Do not thus go away! Oblige us at least with the name and
+address of the maker.'
+
+I perpended--like the Herr Over-Superintendent at Frankfort. 'Look
+here,' I said at last, telling the truth with frankness, 'I get 25 per
+cent on all bicycles I sell. I am, as I say, the maker's Sole Agent. If
+you order through me, I touch my profit; if otherwise, I do not. Still,
+since you seem to be gentlemen,' they bowed and swelled visibly, 'I will
+give you the address of the firm, trusting to your honour to mention my
+name'--I handed them a card--'if you decide on ordering. The price of
+the palfrey is 400 marks. It is worth every pfennig of it.' And before
+they could say more, I had spurred my steed and swept off at full speed
+round a curve of the highway.
+
+I pencilled a note to my American that night from Hornberg, detailing
+the circumstance; but I am sorry to say, for the discredit of humanity,
+that when those two students wrote the same evening from their inn in
+the village to order Manitous, they did _not_ mention my name, doubtless
+under the misconception that by suppressing it they would save my
+commission. However, it gives me pleasure to add _per contra_ (as we say
+in business) that when I arrived at Lucerne a week or so later I found a
+letter, _poste restante_, from Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock, inclosing an English
+ten-pound note. He wrote that he had received two orders for Manitous
+from Hornberg; and 'feeling considerable confidence that these must
+necessarily originate' from my German students, he had the pleasure of
+forwarding me what he hoped would be the first of many similar
+commissions.
+
+[Illustration: FELT A PERFECT LITTLE HYPOCRITE.]
+
+I will not describe my further adventures on the still steeper mountain
+road from Hornberg to Triberg and St. Georgen--how I got bites on the
+way from an English curate, an Austrian hussar, and two unprotected
+American ladies; nor how I angled for them all by riding my machine up
+impossible hills, and then reclining gracefully to eat my lunch (three
+times in one day) on mossy banks at the summit. I felt a perfect little
+hypocrite. But Mr. Hitchcock had remarked that business is business; and
+I will only add (in confirmation of his view) that by the time I reached
+Lucerne, I had sown the good seed in fifteen separate human souls, no
+less than four of which brought forth fruit in orders for Manitous
+before the end of the season.
+
+I had now so little fear what the morrow might bring forth that I
+settled down in a comfortable hotel at Lucerne till Elsie's holidays
+began; and amused myself meanwhile by picking out the hilliest roads I
+could find in the neighbourhood, in order to display my steel steed's
+possibilities to the best advantage.
+
+By the end of July, Elsie joined me. She was half-angry at first that I
+should have forced the ticket and my hospitality upon her.
+
+'Nonsense, dear,' I said, smoothing her hair, for her pale face quite
+frightened me. 'What is the good of a friend if she will not allow you
+to do her little favours?'
+
+'But, Brownie, you said you wouldn't stop and be dependent upon _me_ one
+day longer than was necessary in London.'
+
+'That was different,' I cried. 'That was Me! This is You! I am a great,
+strong, healthy thing, fit to fight the battle of life and take care of
+myself; you, Elsie, are one of those fragile little flowers which 'tis
+everybody's duty to protect and to care for.'
+
+She would have protested more; but I stifled her mouth with kisses.
+Indeed, for nothing did I rejoice in my prosperity so much as for the
+chance it gave me of helping poor dear overworked, overwrought Elsie.
+
+We took up our quarters thenceforth at a high-perched little guest-house
+near the top of the Br�nig. It was bracing for Elsie; and it lay close
+to a tourist track where I could spread my snares and exhibit the
+Manitou in its true colours to many passing visitors. Elsie tried it,
+and found she could ride on it with ease. She wished she had one of her
+own. A bright idea struck me. In fear and trembling, I wrote, suggesting
+to Mr. Hitchcock that I had a girl friend from England stopping with me
+in Switzerland, and that two Manitous would surely be better than one as
+an adver_tize_ment. I confess I stood aghast at my own cheek; but my
+hand, I fear, was rapidly growing 'subdued to that it worked in.' Anyhow
+I sent the letter off, and waited developments.
+
+By return of post came an answer from my American.
+
+     'DEAR MISS--By rail herewith please receive one lady's No. 4
+     automatic quadruple-geared self-feeding Manitou, as per your
+     esteemed favour of July 27th, for which I desire to thank you. The
+     more I see of your way of doing business, the more I do admire at
+     you. This is an elegant poster! Two high-toned English ladies,
+     mounted on Manitous, careering up the Alps, represent to both of
+     us quite a mint of money. The mutual benefit, to me, to you, and
+     to the other lady, ought to be simply incalculable. I shall be
+     pleased at any time to hear of any further developments of your
+     very remarkable advertising skill, and I am obliged to you for
+     this brilliant suggestion you have been good enough to make to
+     me.--Respectfully,
+
+  'CYRUS W. HITCHCOCK.'
+
+'What? Am I to have it for nothing, Brownie?' Elsie exclaimed,
+bewildered, when I read the letter to her.
+
+I assumed the airs of a woman of the world. 'Why, certainly, my dear,' I
+answered, as if I always expected to find bicycles showered upon me.
+'It's a mutual arrangement. Benefits him; benefits you. Reciprocity is
+the groundwork of business. _He_ gets the advertisement; _you_ get the
+amusement. It's a form of handbill. Like the ladies who exhibit their
+back hair, don't you know, in that window in Regent Street.'
+
+Thus inexpensively mounted, we scoured the country together, up the
+steepest hills between Stanzstadt and Meiringen. We had lots of nibbles.
+One lady in particular often stopped to look on and admire the Manitou.
+She was a nice-looking widow of forty-five, very fresh and round-faced;
+a Mrs. Evelegh, we soon found out, who owned a charming _chalet_ on the
+hills above Lungern. She spoke to us more than once: 'What a perfect
+dear of a machine!' she cried. 'I wonder if I dare try it!'
+
+'Can you cycle?' I asked.
+
+'I could once,' she answered. 'I was awfully fond of it. But Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley won't let me any longer.'
+
+'Try it!' I said dismounting. She got up and rode. 'Oh, isn't it just
+lovely!' she cried ecstatically.
+
+'Buy one!' I put in. 'They're as smooth as silk; they cost only twenty
+pounds; and, on every machine I sell, I get five pounds commission.'
+
+'I should love to,' she answered; 'but Dr. Fortescue-Langley----'
+
+'Who is he?' I asked. 'I don't believe in drug-drenchers.'
+
+She looked quite shocked. 'Oh, he's not that kind, you know,' she put
+in, breathlessly. 'He's the celebrated esoteric faith-healer. He won't
+let me move far away from Lungern, though I'm longing to be off to
+England again for the summer. My boy's at Portsmouth.'
+
+'Then, why don't you disobey him?'
+
+Her face was a study. 'I daren't,' she answered in an awe-struck voice.
+'He comes here every summer; and he does me _so_ much good, you know. He
+diagnoses my inner self. He treats me psychically. When my inner self
+goes wrong, my bangle turns dusky.' She held up her right hand with an
+Indian silver bangle on it; and sure enough, it was tarnished with a
+very thin black deposit. 'My soul is ailing now,' she said in a
+comically serious voice. 'But it is seldom so in Switzerland. The moment
+I land in England the bangle turns black and remains black till I get
+back to Lucerne again.'
+
+When she had gone, I said to Elsie, 'That _is_ odd about the bangle.
+State of health might affect it, I suppose. Though it looks to me like a
+surface deposit of sulphide.' I knew nothing of chemistry, I admit; but
+I had sometimes messed about in the laboratory at college with some of
+the other girls; and I remembered now that sulphide of silver was a
+blackish-looking body, like the film on the bangle.
+
+However, at the time I thought no more about it.
+
+[Illustration: SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER.]
+
+By dint of stopping and talking, we soon got quite intimate with Mrs.
+Evelegh. As always happens, I found out I had known some of her cousins
+in Edinburgh, where I always spent my holidays while I was at Girton.
+She took an interest in what she was kind enough to call my
+originality; and before a fortnight was out, our hotel being
+uncomfortably crowded, she had invited Elsie and myself to stop with her
+at the _chalet_. We went, and found it a delightful little home. Mrs.
+Evelegh was charming; but we could see at every turn that Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley had acquired a firm hold over her. 'He's so clever,
+you know,' she said; 'and so spiritual! He exercises such strong odylic
+force. He binds my being together. If he misses a visit, I feel my inner
+self goes all to pieces.'
+
+'Does he come often?' I asked, growing interested.
+
+'Oh, dear, no,' she answered. 'I wish he did: it would be ever so good
+for me. But he's so much run after; I am but one among many. He lives at
+Ch�teau d'Oex, and comes across to see patients in this district once a
+fortnight. It is a privilege to be attended by an intuitive seer like
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley.'
+
+Mrs. Evelegh was rich--'left comfortably,' as the phrase goes, but with
+a clause which prevented her marrying again without losing her fortune;
+and I could gather from various hints that Dr. Fortescue-Langley,
+whoever he might be, was bleeding her to some tune, using her soul and
+her inner self as his financial lancet. I also noticed that what she
+said about the bangle was strictly true; generally bright as a new pin,
+on certain mornings it was completely blackened. I had been at the
+_chalet_ ten days, however, before I began to suspect the real reason.
+Then it dawned upon me one morning in a flash of inspiration. The
+evening before had been cold, for at the height where we were perched,
+even in August, we often found the temperature chilly in the night, and
+I heard Mrs. Evelegh tell C�cile, her maid, to fill the hot-water
+bottle. It was a small point, but it somehow went home to me. Next day
+the bangle was black, and Mrs. Evelegh lamented that her inner self must
+be suffering from an attack of evil vapours.
+
+I held my peace at the time, but I asked C�cile a little later to bring
+me that hot-water-bottle. As I more than half suspected, it was made of
+india-rubber, wrapped carefully up in the usual red flannel bag. 'Lend
+me your brooch, Elsie,' I said. 'I want to try a little experiment.'
+
+'Won't a franc do as well?' Elsie asked, tendering one. 'That's equally
+silver.'
+
+'I think not,' I answered. 'A franc is most likely too hard; it has base
+metal to alloy it. But I will vary the experiment by trying both
+together. Your brooch is Indian and therefore soft silver. The native
+jewellers never use alloy. Hand it over; it will clean with a little
+plate-powder, if necessary. I'm going to see what blackens Mrs.
+Evelegh's bangle.'
+
+I laid the franc and the brooch on the bottle, filled with hot water,
+and placed them for warmth in the fold of a blanket. After _d�je�ner_,
+we inspected them. As I anticipated, the brooch had grown black on the
+surface with a thin iridescent layer of silver sulphide, while the franc
+had hardly suffered at all from the exposure.
+
+I called in Mrs. Evelegh, and explained what I had done. She was
+astonished and half incredulous. 'How could you ever think of it?' she
+cried, admiringly.
+
+'Why, I was reading an article yesterday about india-rubber in one of
+your magazines,' I answered; 'and the person who wrote it said the raw
+gum was hardened for vulcanising by mixing it with sulphur. When I heard
+you ask C�cile for the hot-water-bottle, I thought at once: "The sulphur
+and the heat account for the tarnishing of Mrs. Evelegh's bangle."'
+
+'And the franc doesn't tarnish! Then that must be why my other silver
+bracelet, which is English make, and harder, never changes colour! And
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley assured me it was because the soft one was of
+Indian metal, and had mystic symbols on it--symbols that answered to the
+cardinal moods of my sub-conscious self, and that darkened in sympathy.'
+
+I jumped at a clue. 'He talked about your sub-conscious self?' I broke
+in.
+
+'Yes,' she answered. 'He always does. It's the key-note of his system.
+He heals by that alone. But, my dear, after this, how can I ever believe
+in him?'
+
+'Does he know about the hot-water-bottle?' I asked.
+
+'Oh, yes; he ordered me to use it on certain nights; and when I go to
+England he says I must never be without one. I see now that was why my
+inner self invariably went wrong in England. It was all just the sulphur
+blackening the bangles.'
+
+I reflected. 'A middle-aged man?' I asked. 'Stout, diplomatic-looking,
+with wrinkles round his eyes, and a distinguished grey moustache,
+twirled up oddly at the corners?'
+
+'That's the man, my dear! His very picture. Where on earth have you seen
+him?'
+
+'And he talks of sub-conscious selves?' I went on.
+
+'He practises on that basis. He says it's no use prescribing for the
+outer man; to do that is to treat mere symptoms: the sub-conscious self
+is the inner seat of diseases.'
+
+'How long has he been in Switzerland?'
+
+'Oh, he comes here every year. He arrived this season late in May, I
+fancy.'
+
+'When will he visit you again, Mrs. Evelegh?'
+
+'To-morrow morning.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'Then I must see him, without being seen,' I
+said. 'I think I know him. He is our Count, I believe.' For I had told
+Mrs. Evelegh and Elsie the queer story of my journey from London.
+
+'Impossible, my dear! Im-possible! I have implicit faith in him!'
+
+'Wait and see, Mrs. Evelegh. You acknowledge he duped you over the
+affair of the bangle.'
+
+[Illustration: THE COUNT.]
+
+There are two kinds of dupe: one kind, the commonest, goes on believing
+in its deceiver, no matter what happens; the other, far rarer, has the
+sense to know it has been deceived if you make the deception as clear as
+day to it. Mrs. Evelegh was, fortunately, of the rarer class. Next
+morning, Dr. Fortescue-Langley arrived, by appointment. As he walked up
+the path, I glanced at him from my window. It was the Count, not a doubt
+of it. On his way to gull his dupes in Switzerland, he had tried to
+throw in an incidental trifle of a diamond robbery.
+
+I telegraphed the facts at once to Lady Georgina, at Schlangenbad. She
+answered, 'I am coming. Ask the man to meet his friend on Wednesday.'
+
+Mrs. Evelegh, now almost convinced, invited him. On Wednesday morning,
+with a bounce, Lady Georgina burst in upon us. 'My dear, such a
+journey!--alone, at my age--but there, I haven't known a happy day since
+you left me! Oh, yes, I got my Gretchen--unsophisticated?--
+well--h'm--that's not the word for it: I declare to you, Lois, there
+isn't a trick of the trade, in Paris or London--not a perquisite or a
+tip that that girl isn't up to. Comes straight from the remotest
+recesses of the Black Forest, and hadn't been with me a week, I assure
+you, honour bright, before she was bandolining her yellow hair, and
+rouging her cheeks, and wearing my brooches, and wagering gloves with
+the hotel waiters upon the Baden races. _And_ her language: _and_ her
+manners! Why weren't you born in that station of life, I wonder, child,
+so that I might offer you five hundred a year, and all found, to come
+and live with me for ever? But this Gretchen--her fringe, her shoes, her
+ribbons--upon my soul, my dear, I don't know what girls are coming to
+nowadays.'
+
+'Ask Mrs. Lynn-Linton,' I suggested, as she paused. 'She is a recognised
+authority on the subject.'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady stared at me. 'And this Count?' she went on.
+'So you have really tracked him? You're a wonderful girl, my dear. I
+wish you were a lady's maid. You'd be worth me any money.'
+
+I explained how I had come to hear of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.
+
+Lady Georgina waxed warm. 'Dr. Fortescue-Langley!' she exclaimed. 'The
+wicked wretch! But he didn't get my diamonds! I've carried them here in
+my hands, all the way from Wiesbaden: I wasn't going to leave them for
+a single day to the tender mercies of that unspeakable Gretchen. The
+fool would lose them. Well, we'll catch him this time, Lois: and we'll
+give him ten years for it!'
+
+'Ten years!' Mrs. Evelegh cried, clasping her hands in horror. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina!'
+
+We waited in Mrs. Evelegh's dining-room, the old lady and I, behind the
+folding doors. At three precisely Dr. Fortescue-Langley walked in. I had
+difficulty in restraining Lady Georgina from falling upon him
+prematurely. He talked a lot of high-flown nonsense to Mrs. Evelegh and
+Elsie about the influences of the planets, and the seventy-five
+emanations, and the eternal wisdom of the East, and the medical efficacy
+of sub-conscious suggestion. Excellent patter, all of it--quite as good
+in its way as the diplomatic patter he had poured forth in the train to
+Lady Georgina. It was rich in spheres, in elements, in cosmic forces. At
+last, as he was discussing the reciprocal action of the inner self upon
+the exhalations of the lungs, we pushed back the door and walked calmly
+in upon him.
+
+His breath came and went. The exhalations of the lungs showed visible
+perturbation. He rose and stared at us. For a second he lost his
+composure. Then, as bold as brass, he turned, with a cunning smile, to
+Mrs. Evelegh. 'Where on earth did you pick up such acquaintances?' he
+inquired, in a well-simulated tone of surprise. 'Yes, Lady Georgina, I
+have met you before, I admit; but--it can hardly be agreeable to you to
+reflect under what circumstances.'
+
+Lady Georgina was beside herself. 'You dare?' she cried, confronting
+him. 'You dare to brazen it out? You miserable sneak! But you can't
+bluff me now. I have the police outside.' Which I regret to confess was
+a light-hearted fiction.
+
+'The police?' he echoed, drawing back. I could see he was frightened.
+
+I had an inspiration again. 'Take off that moustache!' I said, calmly,
+in my most commanding voice.
+
+[Illustration: I THOUGHT IT KINDER TO HIM TO REMOVE IT ALTOGETHER.]
+
+He clapped his hand to it in horror. In his agitation, he managed to
+pull it a little bit awry. It looked so absurd, hanging there, all
+crooked, that I thought it kinder to him to remove it altogether. The
+thing peeled off with difficulty; for it was a work of art, very firmly
+and gracefully fastened with sticking-plaster. But it peeled off at
+last--and with it the whole of the Count's and Dr. Fortescue-Langley's
+distinction. The man stood revealed, a very palpable man-servant.
+
+Lady Georgina stared hard at him. 'Where have I seen you before?' she
+murmured, slowly. 'That face is familiar to me. Why, yes; you went once
+to Italy as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's courier! I know you now. Your name
+is Higginson.'
+
+It was a come-down for the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, but he swallowed
+it like a man at a single gulp.
+
+'Yes, my lady,' he said, fingering his hat nervously, now all was up.
+'You are quite right, my lady. But what would you have me do? Times are
+hard on us couriers. Nobody wants us now. I must take to what I can.' He
+assumed once more the tone of the Vienna diplomat. '_Que voulez-vous_,
+madame? These are revolutionary days. A man of intelligence must move
+with the Zeitgeist!'
+
+Lady Georgina burst into a loud laugh. 'And to think,' she cried, 'that
+I talked to this lackey from London to Malines without ever suspecting
+him! Higginson, you're a fraud--but you're a precious clever one.'
+
+He bowed. 'I am happy to have merited Lady Georgina Fawley's
+commendation,' he answered, with his palm on his heart, in his grandiose
+manner.
+
+'But I shall hand you over to the police all the same! You are a thief
+and a swindler!'
+
+He assumed a comic expression. 'Unhappily, not a thief,' he objected.
+'This young lady prevented me from appropriating your diamonds.
+_Convey_, the wise call it. I wanted to take your jewel-case--and she
+put me off with a sandwich-tin. I wanted to make an honest penny out of
+Mrs. Evelegh; and--she confronts me with your ladyship, and tears my
+moustache off.'
+
+Lady Georgina regarded him with a hesitating expression. 'But I shall
+call the police,' she said, wavering visibly.
+
+'_De grace_, my lady, _de grace_! Is it worth while, _pour si peu de
+chose_? Consider, I have really effected nothing. Will you charge me
+with having taken--in error--a small tin sandwich-case--value,
+elevenpence? An affair of a week's imprisonment. That is positively all
+you can bring up against me. And,' brightening up visibly, 'I have the
+case still; I will return it to-morrow with pleasure to your ladyship!'
+
+'But the india-rubber water-bottle?' I put in. 'You have been deceiving
+Mrs. Evelegh. It blackens silver. And you told her lies in order to
+extort money under false pretences.'
+
+He shrugged his shoulders. 'You are too clever for me, young lady,' he
+broke out. 'I have nothing to say to you. But Lady Georgina, Mrs.
+Evelegh--you are human--let me go! Reflect; I have things I could tell
+that would make both of you look ridiculous. That journey to Malines,
+Lady Georgina! Those Indian charms, Mrs. Evelegh! Besides, you have
+spoiled my game. Let that suffice you! I can practise in Switzerland no
+longer. Allow me to go in peace, and I will try once more to be
+indifferent honest!'
+
+[Illustration: INCH BY INCH HE RETREATED.]
+
+He backed slowly towards the door, with his eyes fixed on them. I stood
+by and waited. Inch by inch he retreated. Lady Georgina looked down
+abstractedly at the carpet. Mrs. Evelegh looked up abstractedly at the
+ceiling. Neither spoke another word. The rogue backed out by degrees.
+Then he sprang downstairs, and before they could decide was well out
+into the open.
+
+Lady Georgina was the first to break the silence. 'After all, my dear,'
+she murmured, turning to me, 'there was a deal of sound English
+common-sense about Dogberry!'
+
+I remembered then his charge to the watch to apprehend a rogue. 'How if
+'a will not stand?'
+
+'Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the
+rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.' When
+I remembered how Lady Georgina had hob-nobbed with the Count from Ostend
+to Malines, I agreed to a great extent both with her and with Dogberry.
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER
+
+
+The explosion and evaporation of Dr. Fortescue-Langley (with whom were
+amalgamated the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, Mr. Higginson the courier,
+and whatever else that versatile gentleman chose to call himself)
+entailed many results of varying magnitudes.
+
+In the first place, Mrs. Evelegh ordered a Great Manitou. That, however,
+mattered little to 'the firm,' as I loved to call us (because it shocked
+dear Elsie so); for, of course, after all her kindness we couldn't
+accept our commission on her purchase, so that she got her machine cheap
+for �15 from the maker. But, in the second place--I declare I am
+beginning to write like a woman of business--she decided to run over to
+England for the summer to see her boy at Portsmouth, being certain now
+that the discoloration of her bangle depended more on the presence of
+sulphur in the india-rubber bottle than on the passing state of her
+astral body. 'Tis an abrupt descent from the inner self to a hot-water
+bottle, I admit; but Mrs. Evelegh took the plunge with grace, like a
+sensible woman. Dr. Fortescue-Langley had been annihilated for her at
+one blow: she returned forthwith to common-sense and England.
+
+'What will you do with the _chalet_ while you're away?' Lady Georgina
+asked, when she announced her intention. 'You can't shut it up to take
+care of itself. Every blessed thing in the place will go to rack and
+ruin. Shutting up a house means spoiling it for ever. Why, I've got a
+cottage of my own that I let for the summer in the best part of
+Surrey--a pretty little place, now vacant, for which, by the way, I want
+a tenant, if you happen to know of one: and when it's left empty for a
+month or two----'
+
+'Perhaps it would do for me?' Mrs. Evelegh suggested, jumping at it.
+'I'm looking out for a furnished house for the summer, within easy reach
+of Portsmouth and London, for myself and Oliver.'
+
+Lady Georgina seized her arm, with a face of blank horror. 'My dear,'
+she cried. 'For you! I wouldn't dream of letting it to you. A nasty,
+damp, cold, unwholesome house, on stiff clay soil, with detestable
+drains, in the deadliest part of the Weald of Surrey,--why, you and your
+boy would catch your deaths of rheumatism.'
+
+'Is it the one I saw advertised in the _Times_ this morning, I wonder?'
+Mrs. Evelegh inquired in a placid voice. '"Charming furnished house on
+Holmesdale Common; six bedrooms, four reception-rooms; splendid views;
+pure air; picturesque surroundings; exceptionally situated." I thought
+of writing about it.'
+
+[Illustration: NEVER LEAVE A HOUSE TO THE SERVANTS, MY DEAR!]
+
+'That's it!' Lady Georgina exclaimed, with a demonstrative wave of her
+hand. 'I drew up the advertisement myself. Exceptionally situated! I
+should just think it was! Why, my dear, I wouldn't let you rent the
+place for worlds; a horrid, poky little hole, stuck down in the bottom
+of a boggy hollow, as damp as Devonshire, with the paper peeling off the
+walls, so that I had to take my choice between giving it up myself ten
+years ago, or removing to the cemetery; and I've let it ever since to
+City men with large families. Nothing would induce me to allow you and
+your boy to expose yourself to such risks.' For Lady Georgina had taken
+quite a fancy to Mrs. Evelegh. 'But what I was just going to say was
+this: you can't shut your house up; it'll all go mouldy. Houses always
+go mouldy, shut up in summer. And you can't leave it to your servants;
+_I_ know the baggages; no conscience--no conscience; they'll ask their
+entire families to come and stop with them _en bloc_, and turn your
+place into a perfect piggery. Why, when I went away from my house in
+town one autumn, didn't I leave a policeman and his wife in charge--a
+most respectable man--only he happened to be an Irishman. And what was
+the consequence? My dear, I assure you, I came back unexpectedly from
+poor dear Kynaston's one day--at a moment's notice--having quarrelled
+with him over Home Rule or Education or something--poor dear Kynaston's
+what they call a Liberal, I believe--got at by that man Rosebery--and
+there didn't I find all the O'Flanagans, and O'Flahertys, and O'Flynns
+in the neighbourhood camping out in my drawing-room; with a strong
+detachment of O'Donohues, and O'Dohertys, and O'Driscolls lying around
+loose in possession of the library? Never leave a house to the servants,
+my dear! It's positively suicidal. Put in a responsible caretaker of
+whom you know something--like Lois here, for instance.'
+
+'Lois!' Mrs. Evelegh echoed. 'Dear me, that's just the very thing. What
+a capital idea! I never thought of Lois! She and Elsie might stop on
+here, with Ursula and the gardener.'
+
+I protested that if we did it was our clear duty to pay a small rent;
+but Mrs. Evelegh brushed that aside. 'You've robbed yourselves over the
+bicycle,' she insisted, 'and I'm delighted to let you have it. It's I
+who ought to pay, for you'll keep the house dry for me.'
+
+I remembered Mr. Hitchcock--'Mutual advantage: benefits you, benefits
+me'--and made no bones about it. So in the end Mrs. Evelegh set off for
+England with C�cile, leaving Elsie and me in charge of Ursula, the
+gardener, and the _chalet_.
+
+As for Lady Georgina, having by this time completed her 'cure' at
+Schlangenbad (complexion as usual; no guinea yellower), she telegraphed
+for Gretchen--'I can't do without the idiot'--and hung round Lucerne,
+apparently for no other purpose but to send people up the Br�nig on the
+hunt for our wonderful new machines, and so put money in our pockets.
+She was much amused when I told her that Aunt Susan (who lived, you will
+remember, in respectable indigence at Blackheath) had written to
+expostulate with me on my 'unladylike' conduct in becoming a bicycle
+commission agent. 'Unladylike!--the Cantankerous Old Lady exclaimed,
+with warmth. 'What does the woman mean? Has she got no gumption? It's
+"ladylike," I suppose, to be a companion, or a governess, or a
+music-teacher, or something else in the black-thread-glove way, in
+London; but not to sell bicycles for a good round commission. My dear,
+between you and me, I don't see it. If you had a brother, now, _he_
+might sell cycles, or corner wheat, or rig the share market, or do
+anything else he pleased, in these days, and nobody'd think the worse of
+him--as long as he made money; and it's my opinion that what is sauce
+for the goose can't be far out for the gander--and _vice-vers�_. Besides
+which, what's the use of _trying_ to be ladylike? You _are_ a lady,
+child, and you couldn't help being one; why trouble to be _like_ what
+nature made you? Tell Aunt Susan from me to put _that_ in her pipe and
+smoke it!'
+
+I _did_ tell Aunt Susan by letter, giving Lady Georgina's authority for
+the statement; and I really believe it had a consoling effect upon her;
+for Aunt Susan is one of those innocent-minded people who cherish a
+profound respect for the opinions and ideas of a Lady of Title.
+Especially where questions of delicacy are concerned. It calmed her to
+think that though I, an officer's daughter, had declined upon trade, I
+was mixing at least with the Best People!
+
+We had a lovely time at the _chalet_--two girls alone, messing just as
+we pleased in the kitchen, and learning from Ursula how to concoct
+_pot-au-feu_ in the most approved Swiss fashion. We pottered, as we
+women love to potter, half the day long; the other half we spent in
+riding our cycles about the eternal hills, and ensnaring the flies whom
+Lady Georgina dutifully sent up to us. She was our decoy duck: and, in
+virtue of her handle, she decoyed to a marvel. Indeed, I sold so many
+Manitous that I began to entertain a deep respect for my own commercial
+faculties. As for Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock, he wrote to me from Frankfort:
+'The world continues to revolve on its axis, the Manitou, and the
+machine is booming. Orders romp in daily. When you ventilated the
+suggestion of an agency at Limburg, I concluded at a glance you had the
+material of a first-class business woman about you; but I reckon I did
+not know what a traveller meant till you started on the road. I am now
+enlarging and altering this factory, to meet increased demands. Branch
+offices at Berlin, Hamburg, Crefeld, and D�sseldorf. Inspect our stock
+before dealing elsewhere. A liberal discount allowed to the trade. Two
+hundred agents wanted in all towns of Germany. If they were every one of
+them like _you_, miss--well, I guess I would hire the town of Frankfort
+for my business premises.'
+
+One morning, after we had spent about a week at the _chalet_ by
+ourselves, I was surprised to see a young man with a knapsack on his
+back walking up the garden path towards our cottage. 'Quick, quick,
+Elsie!' I cried, being in a mischievous mood. 'Come here with the
+opera-glass! There's a Man in the offing!'
+
+'A _what_?' Elsie exclaimed, shocked as usual at my levity.
+
+'A Man,' I answered, squeezing her arm. 'A Man! A real live Man! A
+specimen of the masculine gender in the human being! Man, ahoy! He has
+come at last--the lodestar of our existence!'
+
+Next minute, I was sorry I spoke; for as the man drew nearer, I
+perceived that he was endowed with very long legs and a languidly
+poetical bearing. That supercilious smile--that enticing moustache!
+Could it be?--yes, it was--not a doubt of it--Harold Tillington!
+
+I grew grave at once; Harold Tillington and the situation were serious.
+'What can he want here?' I exclaimed, drawing back.
+
+'Who is it?' Elsie asked; for, being a woman, she read at once in my
+altered demeanour the fact that the Man was not unknown to me.
+
+'Lady Georgina's nephew,' I answered, with a tell-tale cheek, I fear.
+'You remember I mentioned to you that I had met him at Schlangenbad. But
+this is really too bad of that wicked old Lady Georgina. She has told
+him where we lived and sent him up to see us.'
+
+'Perhaps,' Elsie put in, 'he wants to charter a bicycle.'
+
+I glanced at Elsie sideways. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that she
+said it slyly, like one who knew he wanted nothing of the sort. But at
+any rate, I brushed the suggestion aside frankly. 'Nonsense,' I
+answered. 'He wants _me_, not a bicycle.'
+
+He came up to us, waving his hat. He _did_ look handsome! 'Well, Miss
+Cayley,' he cried from afar, 'I have tracked you to your lair! I have
+found out where you abide! What a beautiful spot! And how well you're
+looking!'
+
+'This is an unexpected----' I paused. He thought I was going to say,
+'pleasure,' but I finished it, 'intrusion.' His face fell. 'How did you
+know we were at Lungern, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'My respected relative,' he answered, laughing. 'She
+mentioned--casually--' his eyes met mine--'that you were stopping in a
+_chalet_. And as I was on my way back to the diplomatic mill, I thought
+I might just as well walk over the Grimsel and the Furca, and then on to
+the Gotthard. The Court is at Monza. So it occurred to me ... that in
+passing ... I might venture to drop in and say how-do-you-do to you.'
+
+'Thank you,' I answered, severely--but my heart spoke otherwise--'I do
+very well. And you, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'Badly,' he echoed. 'Badly, since _you_ went away from Schlangenbad.'
+
+I gazed at his dusty feet. 'You are tramping,' I said, cruelly. 'I
+suppose you will get forward for lunch to Meiringen?'
+
+'I-- I did not contemplate it.'
+
+'Indeed?'
+
+He grew bolder. 'No; to say the truth, I half hoped I might stop and
+spend the day here with you.'
+
+'Elsie,' I remarked firmly, 'if Mr. Tillington persists in planting
+himself upon us like this, one of us must go and investigate the kitchen
+department.'
+
+Elsie rose like a lamb. I have an impression that she gathered we wanted
+to be left alone.
+
+[Illustration: I MAY STAY, MAYN'T I?]
+
+He turned to me imploringly. 'Lois,' he cried, stretching out his arms,
+with an appealing air, 'I _may_ stay, mayn't I?'
+
+I tried to be stern; but I fear 'twas a feeble pretence. 'We are two
+girls, alone in a house,' I answered. 'Lady Georgina, as a matron of
+experience, ought to have protected us. Merely to give you lunch is
+almost irregular. (Good diplomatic word, irregular.) Still, in these
+days, I suppose you _may_ stay, if you leave early in the afternoon.
+That's the utmost I can do for you.'
+
+'You are not gracious,' he cried, gazing at me with a wistful look.
+
+I did not dare to be gracious. 'Uninvited guests must not quarrel with
+their welcome,' I answered severely. Then the woman in me broke forth.
+'But indeed, Mr. Tillington, I am glad to see you.'
+
+He leaned forward eagerly. 'So you are not angry with me, Lois? I may
+call you _Lois_?'
+
+I trembled and hesitated. 'I am not angry with you. I-- I like you too
+much to be ever angry with you. And I am glad you came--just this
+once--to see me.... Yes,--when we are alone--you may call me Lois.'
+
+He tried to seize my hand. I withdrew it. 'Then I may perhaps hope,' he
+began, 'that some day----'
+
+I shook my head. 'No, no,' I said, regretfully. 'You misunderstand me.
+I like you very much; and I like to see you. But as long as you are rich
+and have prospects like yours, I could never marry you. My pride
+wouldn't let me. Take that as final.'
+
+I looked away. He bent forward again. 'But if I were poor?' he put in,
+eagerly.
+
+I hesitated. Then my heart rose, and I gave way. 'If ever you are poor,'
+I faltered,--'penniless, hunted, friendless--come to me, Harold, and I
+will help and comfort you. But not till then. Not till then, I implore
+you.'
+
+He leant back and clasped his hands. 'You have given me something to
+live for, dear Lois,' he murmured. 'I will try to be poor--penniless,
+hunted, friendless. To win you I will try. And when that day arrives, I
+shall come to claim you.'
+
+We sat for an hour and had a delicious talk--about nothing. But we
+understood each other. Only that artificial barrier divided us. At the
+end of the hour, I heard Elsie coming back by judiciously slow stages
+from the kitchen to the living-room, through six feet of passage,
+discoursing audibly to Ursula all the way, with a tardiness that did
+honour to her heart and her understanding. Dear, kind little Elsie! I
+believe she had never a tiny romance of her own; yet her sympathy for
+others was sweet to look upon.
+
+We lunched at a small deal table in the veranda. Around us rose the
+pinnacles. The scent of pines and moist moss was in the air. Elsie had
+arranged the flowers, and got ready the omelette, and cooked the chicken
+cutlets, and prepared the junket. 'I never thought I could do it alone
+without you, Brownie; but I tried, and it all came right by magic,
+somehow.' We laughed and talked incessantly. Harold was in excellent
+cue; and Elsie took to him. A livelier or merrier table there wasn't in
+the twenty-two Cantons that day than ours, under the sapphire sky,
+looking out on the sun-smitten snows of the Jungfrau.
+
+After lunch, Harold begged hard to be allowed to stop for tea. I had
+misgivings, but I gave way--he _was_ such good company. One may as well
+be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, says the wisdom of our ancestors: and,
+after all, Mrs. Grundy was only represented here by Elsie, the gentlest
+and least censorious of her daughters. So he stopped and chatted till
+four; when I made tea and insisted on dismissing him. He meant to take
+the rough mountain path over the screes from Lungern to Meiringen, which
+ran right behind the _chalet_. I feared lest he might be belated, and
+urged him to hurry.
+
+'Thanks, I'm happier here,' he answered.
+
+I was sternness itself. 'You _promised_ me!' I said, in a reproachful
+voice.
+
+He rose instantly, and bowed. 'Your will is law--even when it pronounces
+sentence of exile.'
+
+Would we walk a little way with him? No, I faltered; we would not. We
+would follow him with the opera-glasses and wave him farewell when he
+reached the Kulm. He shook our hands unwillingly, and turned up the
+little path, looking handsomer than ever. It led ascending through a
+fir-wood to the rock-strewn hillside.
+
+Once, a quarter of an hour later, we caught a glimpse of him near a
+sharp turn in the road; after that we waited in vain, with our eyes
+fixed on the Kulm; not a sign could we discern of him. At last I grew
+anxious. 'He ought to be there,' I cried, fuming.
+
+'He ought,' Elsie answered.
+
+I swept the slopes with the opera-glasses. Anxiety and interest in him
+quickened my senses, I suppose. 'Look here, Elsie,' I burst out at last.
+'Just take this glass and have a glance at those birds, down the crag
+below the Kulm. Don't they seem to be circling and behaving most oddly?'
+
+Elsie gazed where I bid her. 'They're wheeling round and round,' she
+answered, after a minute; 'and they certainly _do_ look as if they were
+screaming.'
+
+'They seem to be frightened,' I suggested.
+
+'It looks like it, Brownie,'
+
+'Then he's fallen over a precipice!' I cried, rising up; 'and he's lying
+there on a ledge by their nest. Elsie, we must go to him!'
+
+She clasped her hands and looked terrified. 'Oh, Brownie, how dreadful!'
+she exclaimed. Her face was deadly white. Mine burned like fire.
+
+'Not a moment to lose!' I said, holding my breath. 'Get out the rope and
+let us run to him!'
+
+'Don't you think,' Elsie suggested, 'we had better hurry down on our
+cycles to Lungern and call some men from the village to help us? We are
+two girls, and alone. What can we do to aid him?'
+
+'No,' I answered, promptly, 'that won't do. It would only lose time--and
+time may be precious. You and I must go; I'll send Ursula off to bring
+up guides from the village.'
+
+Fortunately, we had a good long coil of new rope in the house, which
+Mrs. Evelegh had provided in case of accident. I slipped it on my arm,
+and set out on foot; for the path was by far too rough for cycles. I was
+sorry afterwards that I had not taken Ursula, and sent Elsie to Lungern
+to rouse the men; for she found the climbing hard, and I had difficulty
+at times in dragging her up the steep and stony pathway, almost a
+watercourse. However, we persisted in the direction of the Kulm,
+tracking Harold by his footprints; for he wore mountain boots with
+sharp-headed nails, which made dints in the moist soil, and scratched
+the smooth surface of the rock where he trod on it.
+
+We followed him thus for a mile or two, along the regular path; then of
+a sudden, in an open part, the trail failed us. I turned back, a few
+yards, and looked close, with my eyes fixed on the spongy soil, as keen
+as a hound that sniffs his way after his quarry. 'He went off _here_,
+Elsie!' I said at last, pulling up short by a spindle bush on the
+hillside.
+
+'How do you know, Brownie?'
+
+'Why, see, there are the marks of his stick; he had a thick one, you
+remember, with a square iron spike. These are its dints; I have been
+watching them all the way along from the _chalet_!
+
+'But there are so many such marks!'
+
+'Yes, I know; I can tell his from the older ones made by the spikes of
+alpenstocks because Harold's are fresher and sharper on the edge. They
+look so much newer. See, here, he slipped on the rock; you can know that
+scratch is recent by the clean way it's traced, and the little
+glistening crystals still left behind in it. Those other marks have been
+wind-swept and washed by the rain. There are no broken particles.'
+
+'How on earth did you find that out, Brownie?'
+
+How on earth did I find it out! I wondered myself. But the emergency
+seemed somehow to teach me something of the instinctive lore of hunters
+and savages. I did not trouble to answer her. 'At this bush, the tracks
+fail,' I went on; 'and, look, he must have clutched at that branch and
+crushed the broken leaves as the twigs slipped through his fingers. He
+left the path here, then, and struck off on a short cut of his own along
+the hillside, lower down. Elsie, we must follow him.'
+
+She shrank from it; but I held her hand. It was a more difficult task
+to track him now; for we had no longer the path to guide us. However, I
+explored the ground on my hands and knees, and soon found marks of
+footsteps on the boggy patches, with scratches on the rock where he had
+leapt from point to point, or planted his stick to steady himself. I
+tried to help Elsie along among the littered boulders and the dwarf
+growth of wind-swept daphne: but, poor child, it was too much for her:
+she sat down after a few minutes upon the flat juniper scrub and began
+to cry. What was I to do? My anxiety was breathless. I couldn't leave
+her there alone, and I couldn't forsake Harold. Yet I felt every minute
+might now be critical. We were making among wet whortleberry thicket and
+torn rock towards the spot where I had seen the birds wheel and circle,
+screaming. The only way left was to encourage Elsie and make her feel
+the necessity for instant action. 'He is alive still,' I exclaimed,
+looking up; 'the birds are crying! If he were dead, they would return to
+their nest-- Elsie, we _must_ get to him!'
+
+She rose, bewildered, and followed me. I held her hand tight, and coaxed
+her to scramble over the rocks where the scratches showed the way, or to
+clamber at times over fallen trunks of huge fir-trees. Yet it was hard
+work climbing; even Harold's sure feet had slipped often on the wet and
+slimy boulders, though, like most of Queen Margherita's set, he was an
+expert mountaineer. Then, at times, I lost the faint track, so that I
+had to diverge and look close to find it. These delays fretted me. 'See,
+a stone loosed from its bed--he must have passed by here.... That twig
+is newly snapped; no doubt he caught at it.... Ha, the moss there has
+been crushed; a foot has gone by. And the ants on that ant-hill, with
+their eggs in their mouths--a man's tread has frightened them.' So, by
+some instinctive sense, as if the spirit of my savage ancestors revived
+within me, I managed to recover the spoor again and again by a miracle,
+till at last, round a corner by a defiant cliff--with a terrible
+foreboding, my heart stood still within me.
+
+We had come to an end. A great projecting buttress of crag rose sheer in
+front. Above lay loose boulders. Below was a shrub-hung precipice. The
+birds we had seen from home were still circling and screaming.
+
+They were a pair of peregrine hawks. Their nest seemed to lie far below
+the broken scar, some sixty or seventy feet beneath us.
+
+'He is not dead!' I cried once more, with my heart in my mouth. 'If he
+were, they would have returned. He has fallen, and is lying, alive,
+below there!'
+
+[Illustration: I ADVANCED ON MY HANDS AND KNEES TO THE EDGE OF THE
+PRECIPICE.]
+
+Elsie shrank back against the wall of rock. I advanced on my hands and
+knees to the edge of the precipice. It was not quite sheer, but it
+dropped like a sea-cliff, with broken ledges.
+
+I could see where Harold had slipped. He had tried to climb round the
+crag that blocked the road, and the ground at the edge of the precipice
+had given way with him; it showed a recent founder of a few inches. Then
+he clutched at a branch of broom as he fell; but it slipped through his
+fingers, cutting them; for there was blood on the wiry stem. I knelt by
+the side of the cliff and craned my head over. I scarcely dared to look.
+In spite of the birds, my heart misgave me.
+
+There, on a ledge deep below, he lay in a mass, half raised on one arm.
+But not dead, I believed. 'Harold!' I cried. 'Harold!'
+
+He turned his face up and saw me; his eyes lighted with joy. He shouted
+back something, but I could not hear it.
+
+I turned to Elsie. 'I must go down to him!'
+
+Her tears rose again. 'Oh, Brownie!'
+
+I unwound the coil of rope. The first thing was to fasten it. I could
+not trust Elsie to hold it; she was too weak and too frightened to bear
+my weight: even if I wound it round her body, I feared my mere mass
+might drag her over. I peered about at the surroundings. No tree grew
+near; no rock had a pinnacle sufficiently safe to depend upon. But I
+found a plan soon. In the crag behind me was a cleft, narrowing
+wedge-shape as it descended. I tied the end of the rope round a stone,
+a good big water-worn stone, rudely girdled with a groove near the
+middle, which prevented it from slipping; then I dropped it down the
+fissure till it jammed; after which, I tried it to see if it would bear.
+It was firm as the rock itself. I let the rope down by it, and waited a
+moment to discover whether Harold could climb. He shook his head, and
+took a notebook with evident pain from his pocket. Then he scribbled a
+few words, and pinned them to the rope. I hauled it up. 'Can't move.
+Either severely bruised and sprained, or else legs broken.'
+
+There was no help for it, then. I must go to him.
+
+My first idea was merely to glide down the rope with my gloved hands,
+for I chanced to have my dog-skin bicycling gloves in my pocket.
+Fortunately, however, I did not carry out this crude idea too hastily;
+for next instant it occurred to me that I could not swarm up again. I
+have had no practice in rope-climbing. Here was a problem. But the
+moment suggested its own solution. I began making knots, or rather
+nooses or loops, in the rope, at intervals of about eighteen inches.
+'What are they for?' Elsie asked, looking on in wonder.
+
+'Footholds, to climb up by.'
+
+'But the ones above will pull out with your weight.'
+
+'I don't think so. Still, to make sure, I shall tie them with this
+string. I _must_ get down to him.'
+
+I threaded a sufficient number of loops, trying the length over the
+edge. Then I said to Elsie, who sat cowering, propped against the crag,
+'You must come and look over, and do as I wave to you. Mind, dear, you
+_must_! Two lives depend upon it.'
+
+'Brownie, I daren't? I shall turn giddy and fall over!'
+
+I smoothed her golden hair. 'Elsie, dear,' I said gently, gazing into
+her blue eyes, 'you are a woman. A woman can always be brave, where
+those she loves are concerned; and I believe you love me.' I led her,
+coaxingly, to the edge. 'Sit there,' I said, in my quietest voice, so as
+not to alarm her. 'You can lie at full length, if you like, and only
+just peep over. But when I wave my hand, remember, you must pull the
+rope up.'
+
+She obeyed me like a child. I knew she loved me.
+
+[Illustration: I GRIPPED THE ROPE AND LET MYSELF DOWN.]
+
+I gripped the rope and let myself down, not using the loops to descend,
+but just sliding with hands and knees, and allowing the knots to slacken
+my pace. Half-way down, I will confess, the eerie feeling of physical
+suspense was horrible. One hung so in mid-air! The hawks flapped their
+wings. But Harold was below; and a woman can always be brave where those
+she loves--well, just that moment, catching my breath, I knew I loved
+Harold.
+
+I glided down swiftly. The air whizzed. At last, on a narrow shelf of
+rock, I leant over him. He seized my hand. 'I knew you would come!' he
+cried. 'I felt sure you would find out. Though, _how_ you found out,
+Heaven only knows, you clever, brave little woman!'
+
+'Are you terribly hurt?' I asked, bending close. His clothes were torn.
+
+'I hardly know. I can't move. It may only be bruises.'
+
+'Can you climb by these nooses with my help?'
+
+He shook his head. 'Oh, no. I couldn't climb at all. I must be lifted,
+somehow. You had better go back to Lungern and bring men to help you.'
+
+'And leave you here alone! Never, Harold; never!'
+
+'Then what can we do?'
+
+I reflected a moment. 'Lend me your pencil,' I said. He pulled it
+out--his arms were almost unhurt, fortunately. I scribbled a line to
+Elsie. 'Tie my plaid to the rope and let it down.' Then I waved to her
+to pull up again.
+
+I was half surprised to find she obeyed the signal, for she crouched
+there, white-faced and open-mouthed, watching; but I have often observed
+that women are almost always brave in the great emergencies. She pinned
+on the plaid and let it down with commendable quickness. I doubled it,
+and tied firm knots in the four corners, so as to make it into a sort of
+basket; then I fastened it at each corner with a piece of the rope,
+crossed in the middle, till it looked like one of the cages they use in
+mills for letting down sacks with. As soon as it was finished, I said,
+'Now, just try to crawl into it.'
+
+He raised himself on his arms and crawled in with difficulty. His legs
+dragged after him. I could see he was in great pain. But still, he
+managed it.
+
+I planted my foot in the first noose. 'You must sit still,' I said,
+breathless. 'I am going back to haul you up.'
+
+'Are you strong enough, Lois?'
+
+'With Elsie to help me, yes. I often stroked a four at Girton.'
+
+'I can trust you,' he answered. It thrilled me that he said so.
+
+I began my hazardous journey; I mounted the rope by the nooses--one,
+two, three, four, counting them as I mounted. I did not dare to look up
+or down as I did so, lest I should grow giddy and fall, but kept my eyes
+fixed firmly always on the one noose in front of me. My brain swam: the
+rope swayed and creaked. Twenty, thirty, forty! Foot after foot, I
+slipped them in mechanically, taking up with me the longer coil whose
+ends were attached to the cage and Harold. My hands trembled; it was
+ghastly, swinging there between earth and heaven. Forty-five, forty-six,
+forty-seven-- I knew there were forty-eight of them. At last, after some
+weeks, as it seemed, I reached the summit. Tremulous and half dead, I
+prised myself over the edge with my hands, and knelt once more on the
+hill beside Elsie.
+
+She was white, but attentive. 'What next, Brownie?' Her voice quivered.
+
+I looked about me. I was too faint and shaky after my perilous ascent to
+be fit for work, but there was no help for it. What could I use as a
+pulley? Not a tree grew near; but the stone jammed in the fissure might
+once more serve my purpose. I tried it again. It had borne my weight;
+was it strong enough to bear the precious weight of Harold? I tugged at
+it, and thought so. I passed the rope round it like a pulley, and then
+tied it about my own waist. I had a happy thought: I could use myself as
+a windlass. I turned on my feet for a pivot. Elsie helped me to pull.
+'Up you go!' I cried, cheerily. We wound slowly, for fear of shaking
+him. Bit by bit, I could feel the cage rise gradually from the ground;
+its weight, taken so, with living capstan and stone axle, was less than
+I should have expected. But the pulley helped us, and Elsie, spurred by
+need, put forth more reserve of nervous strength than I could easily
+have believed lay in that tiny body. I twisted myself round and round,
+close to the edge, so as to look over from time to time, but not at all
+quickly, for fear of dizziness. The rope strained and gave. It was a
+deadly ten minutes of suspense and anxiety. Twice or thrice as I looked
+down I saw a spasm of pain break over Harold's face; but when I paused
+and glanced inquiringly, he motioned me to go on with my venturesome
+task. There was no turning back now. We had almost got him up when the
+rope at the edge began to creak ominously.
+
+It was straining at the point where it grated against the brink of the
+precipice. My heart gave a leap. If the rope broke, all was over.
+
+With a sudden dart forward, I seized it with my hands, below the part
+that gave; then--one fierce little run back--and I brought him level
+with the edge. He clutched at Elsie's hand. I turned thrice round, to
+wind the slack about my body. The taut rope cut deep into my flesh; but
+nothing mattered now, except to save him. 'Catch the cloak, Elsie!' I
+cried; 'catch it: pull him gently in!' Elsie caught it and pulled him
+in, with wonderful pluck and calmness. We hauled him over the edge. He
+lay safe on the bank. Then we all three broke down and cried like
+children together. I took his hand in mine and held it in silence.
+
+When we found words again I drew a deep breath, and said, simply, 'How
+did you manage to do it?'
+
+[Illustration: I ROLLED AND SLID DOWN.]
+
+'I tried to clamber past the wall that barred the way there by sheer
+force of stride--you know, my legs are long--and I somehow overbalanced
+myself. But I didn't exactly fall--if I had fallen, I must have been
+killed; I rolled and slid down, clutching at the weeds in the crannies
+as I slipped, and stumbling over the projections, without quite losing
+my foothold on the ledges, till I found myself brought up short with a
+bump at the end of it.'
+
+'And you think no bones are broken?'
+
+'I can't feel sure. It hurts me horribly to move. I fancy just at first
+I must have fainted. But I'm inclined to guess I'm only sprained and
+bruised and sore all over. Why, you're as bad as me, I believe. See,
+your dear hands are all torn and bleeding!'
+
+'How are we ever to get him back again, Brownie?' Elsie put in. She was
+paler than ever now, and prostrate with the after-effects of her
+unwonted effort.
+
+'You are a practical woman, Elsie,' I answered. 'Stop with him here a
+minute or two. I'll climb up the hillside and halloo for Ursula and the
+men from Lungern.'
+
+I climbed and hallooed. In a few minutes, worn out as I was, I had
+reached the path above and attracted their attention. They hurried down
+to where Harold lay, and, using my cage for a litter, slung on a young
+fir-trunk, carried him back between them across their shoulders to the
+village. He pleaded hard to be allowed to remain at the _chalet_, and
+Elsie joined her prayers to his; but, there, I was adamant. It was not
+so much what people might say that I minded, but a deeper difficulty.
+For if once I nursed him through this trouble, how could I or any woman
+in my place any longer refuse him? So I passed him ruthlessly on to
+Lungern (though my heart ached for it), and telegraphed at once to his
+nearest relative, Lady Georgina, to come up and take care of him.
+
+He recovered rapidly. Though sore and shaken, his worst hurts, it turned
+out, were sprains; and in three or four days he was ready to go on
+again. I called to see him before he left. I dreaded the interview; for
+one's own heart is a hard enemy to fight so long: but how could I let
+him go without one word of farewell to him?
+
+'After this, Lois,' he said, taking my hand in his--and I was weak
+enough, for a moment, to let it lie there--'you _cannot_ say No to me!'
+
+Oh, how I longed to fling myself upon him and cry out, 'No, Harold, I
+cannot! I love you too dearly!' But his future and Marmaduke Ashurst's
+half million restrained me: for his sake and for my own I held myself in
+courageously. Though, indeed, it needed some courage and self-control. I
+withdrew my hand slowly. 'Do you remember,' I said, 'you asked me that
+first day at Schlangenbad'--it was an epoch to me now, that first
+day--'whether I was medi�val or modern? And I answered, "Modern, I
+hope." And you said, "That's well!"-- You see, I don't forget the least
+things you say to me. Well, because I am modern--'my lips trembled and
+belied me--'I can answer you No. I can even now refuse you. The
+old-fashioned girl, the medi�val girl, would have held that because she
+saved your life (if I _did_ save your life, which is a matter of
+opinion) she was bound to marry you. But _I_ am modern, and I see things
+differently. If there were reasons at Schlangenbad which made it
+impracticable for me to accept you--though my heart pleaded hard--I do
+not deny it--those reasons cannot have disappeared merely because you
+have chosen to fall over a precipice, and I have pulled you up again. My
+decision was founded, you see, not on passing accidents of situation,
+but on permanent considerations. Nothing has happened in the last three
+days to affect those considerations. We are still ourselves: you, rich;
+I, a penniless adventuress. I could not accept you when you asked me at
+Schlangenbad. On just the same grounds, I cannot accept you now. I do
+not see how the unessential fact that I made myself into a winch to pull
+you up the cliff, and that I am still smarting for it----'
+
+He looked me all over comically. 'How severe we are!' he cried, in a
+bantering tone. 'And how extremely Girtony! A System of Logic,
+Ratiocinative and Inductive, by Lois Cayley! What a pity we didn't take
+a professor's chair. My child that isn't _you_! It's not yourself at
+all! It's an attempt to be unnaturally and unfemininely reasonable.'
+
+Logic fled. I broke down utterly. 'Harold,' I cried, rising, 'I love
+you! I admit I love you! But I will never marry you--while you have
+those thousands.'
+
+'I haven't got them yet!'
+
+'Or the chance of inheriting them.'
+
+He smothered my hand with kisses--for I withdrew my face. 'If you admit
+you love me,' he cried, quite joyously, 'then all is well. When once a
+woman admits that, the rest is but a matter of time--and, Lois, I can
+wait a thousand years for you.'
+
+'Not in my case,' I answered through my tears. 'Not in my case, Harold!
+I am a modern woman, and what I say I mean. I will renew my promise. If
+ever you are poor and friendless, come to me; I am yours. Till then,
+don't harrow me by asking me the impossible!'
+
+I tore myself away. At the hall door, Lady Georgina intercepted me. She
+glanced at my red eyes. 'Then you have taken him?' she cried, seizing my
+hand.
+
+I shook my head firmly. I could hardly speak. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I
+answered, in a choking voice. 'I have refused him again. I will not
+stand in his way. I will not ruin his prospects.'
+
+She drew back and let her chin drop. 'Well, of all the hard-hearted,
+cruel, obdurate young women I ever saw in my born days, if you're not
+the very hardest----'
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I half ran from the house. I hurried home to the _chalet_. There, I
+dashed into my own room, locked the door behind me, flung myself wildly
+on my bed, and, burying my face in my hands, had a good, long,
+hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate cry--exactly like any other medi�val
+woman. It's all very well being modern; but my experience is that, when
+it comes to a man one loves--well, the Middle Ages are still horribly
+strong within us.
+
+
+
+
+VI
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN
+
+
+When Elsie's holidays--I beg pardon, vacation--came to an end, she
+proposed to return to her High School in London. Zeal for the higher
+mathematics devoured her. But she still looked so frail, and coughed so
+often--a perfect _Campo Santo_ of a cough--in spite of her summer of
+open-air exercise, that I positively worried her into consulting a
+doctor--not one of the Fortescue-Langley order. The report he gave was
+mildly unfavourable. He spoke disrespectfully of the apex of her right
+lung. It was not exactly tubercular, he remarked, but he 'feared
+tuberculosis'--excuse the long words; the phrase was his, not mine; I
+repeat _verbatim_. He vetoed her exposing herself to a winter in London
+in her present unstable condition. Davos? Well, no. _Not_ Davos: with
+deliberative thumb and finger on close-shaven chin. He judged her too
+delicate for such drastic remedies. Those high mountain stations suited
+best the robust invalid, who had dropped by accident into casual
+phthisis. For Miss Petheridge's case--looking wise--he would not
+recommend the Riviera, either: too stimulating, too exciting. What this
+young lady needed most was rest: rest in some agreeable southern town,
+some city of the soul--say Rome or Florence--where she might find much
+to interest her, and might forget the apex of her right lung in the new
+world of art that opened around her.
+
+'Very well,' I said, promptly; 'that's settled, Elsie. The apex and you
+shall winter in Florence.'
+
+'But, Brownie, can we afford it?'
+
+'Afford it?' I echoed. 'Goodness gracious, my dear child, what a
+bourgeois sentiment! Your medical attendant says to you, "Go to
+Florence": and to Florence you must go; there's no getting out of it.
+Why, even the swallows fly south when their medical attendant tells them
+England is turning a trifle too cold for them.'
+
+'But what will Miss Latimer say? She depends upon me to come back at the
+beginning of term. She _must_ have _somebody_ to undertake the higher
+mathematics.'
+
+'And she will get somebody, dear,' I answered, calmly. 'Don't trouble
+your sweet little head about that. An eminent statistician has
+calculated that five hundred and thirty duly qualified young women are
+now standing four-square in a solid phalanx in the streets of London,
+all agog to teach the higher mathematics to anyone who wants them at a
+moment's notice. Let Miss Latimer take her pick of the five hundred and
+thirty. I'll wire to her at once: "Elsie Petheridge unable through ill
+health to resume her duties. Ordered to Florence. Resigns post. Engage
+substitute." _That's_ the way to do it.'
+
+Elsie clasped her small white hands in the despair of the woman who
+considers herself indispensable--as if we were any of us indispensable!
+'But, dearest, the girls! They'll be _so_ disappointed!'
+
+'They'll get over it,' I answered, grimly. 'There are worse
+disappointments in store for them in life-- Which is a fine old crusted
+platitude worthy of Aunt Susan. Anyhow, I've decided. Look here, Elsie:
+I stand to you _in loco parentis_.' I have already remarked, I think,
+that she was three years my senior; but I was so pleased with this
+phrase that I repeated it lovingly. 'I stand to you, dear, _in loco
+parentis_. Now, I can't let you endanger your precious health by
+returning to town and Miss Latimer this winter. Let us be categorical. I
+go to Florence; you go with me.'
+
+'What shall we live upon?' Elsie suggested, piteously.
+
+'Our fellow-creatures, as usual,' I answered, with prompt callousness.
+'I object to these base utilitarian considerations being imported into
+the discussion of a serious question. Florence is the city of art; as a
+woman of culture, it behoves you to revel in it. Your medical attendant
+sends you there; as a patient and an invalid, you can revel with a clear
+conscience. Money? Well, money is a secondary matter. All philosophies
+and all religions agree that money is mere dross, filthy lucre. Rise
+superior to it. We have a fair sum in hand to the credit of the firm; we
+can pick up some more, I suppose, in Florence.'
+
+'How?'
+
+I reflected. 'Elsie,' I said, 'you are deficient in Faith--which is one
+of the leading Christian graces. My mission in life is to correct that
+want in your spiritual nature. Now, observe how beautifully all these
+events work in together! The winter comes, when no man can bicycle,
+especially in Switzerland. Therefore, what is the use of my stopping on
+here after October? Again, in pursuance of my general plan of going
+round the world, I must get forward to Italy. Your medical attendant
+considerately orders you at the same time to Florence. In Florence we
+shall still have chances of selling Manitous, though possibly, I admit,
+in diminished numbers. I confess at once that people come to Switzerland
+to tour, and are therefore liable to need our machines; while they go to
+Florence to look at pictures, and a bicycle would doubtless prove
+inconvenient in the Uffizi or the Pitti. Still, we _may_ sell a few. But
+I descry another opening. You write shorthand, don't you?'
+
+'A little, dear; only ninety words a minute.'
+
+'_That's_ not business. Advertise yourself, _� la_ Cyrus Hitchcock! Say
+boldly, "I write shorthand." Leave the world to ask, "How fast?" It will
+ask it quick enough without your suggesting it. Well, my idea is this.
+Florence is a town teeming with English tourists of the cultivated
+classes--men of letters, painters, antiquaries, art-critics. I suppose
+even art-critics may be classed as cultivated. Such people are sure to
+need literary aid. We exist, to supply it. We will set up the Florentine
+School of Stenography and Typewriting. We'll buy a couple of
+typewriters.'
+
+'How can we pay for them, Brownie?'
+
+[Illustration: THERE'S ENTERPRISE FOR YOU!]
+
+I gazed at her in despair. 'Elsie,' I cried, clapping my hand to my
+head, 'you are not practical. Did I ever suggest we should pay for them?
+I said merely, buy them. Base is the slave that pays. That's
+Shakespeare. And we all know Shakespeare is the mirror of nature. Argal,
+it would be unnatural to pay for a typewriter. We will hire a room in
+Florence (on tick, of course), and begin operations. Clients will flock
+in; and we tide over the winter. _There's_ enterprise for you!' And I
+struck an attitude.
+
+Elsie's face looked her doubts. I walked across to Mrs. Evelegh's desk,
+and began writing a letter. It occurred to me that Mr. Hitchcock, who
+was a man of business, might be able to help a woman of business in this
+delicate matter. I put the point to him fairly and squarely, without
+circumlocution; we were going to start an English typewriting office in
+Florence; what was the ordinary way for people to become possessed of a
+typewriting machine, without the odious and mercenary preliminary of
+paying for it? The answer came back with commendable promptitude.
+
+     DEAR MISS,--Your spirit of enterprise is really remarkable! I have
+     forwarded your letter to my friends of the Spread Eagle
+     Typewriting and Phonograph Company, Limited, of New York City,
+     informing them of your desire to open an agency for the sale of
+     their machines in Florence, Italy, and giving them my estimate of
+     your business capacities. I have advised their London house to
+     present you with two complimentary machines for your own use and
+     your partner's, and also to supply a number of others for disposal
+     in the city of Florence. If you would further like to undertake an
+     agency for the development of the trade in salt codfish (large
+     quantities of which are, of course, consumed in Catholic Europe),
+     I could put you into communication with my respected friends,
+     Messrs. Abel Woodward and Co., exporters of preserved provisions,
+     St John, Newfoundland. But, perhaps in this suggestion I am not
+     sufficiently high-toned.--Respectfully, CYRUS W. HITCHCOCK.
+
+The moment had arrived for Elsie to be firm. 'I have no prejudice
+against trade, Brownie,' she observed emphatically; 'but I do draw the
+line at salt fish.'
+
+'So do I, dear,' I answered.
+
+She sighed her relief. I really believe she half expected to find me
+trotting about Florence with miscellaneous samples of Messrs. Abel
+Woodward's esteemed productions protruding from my pocket.
+
+So to Florence we went. My first idea was to travel by the Brenner route
+through the Tyrol; but a queer little episode which met us at the outset
+on the Austrian frontier put a check to this plan. We cycled to the
+border, sending our trunks on by rail. When we went to claim them at the
+Austrian Custom-house, we were told they were detained 'for political
+reasons.'
+
+'Political reasons?' I exclaimed, nonplussed.
+
+'Even so, Fr�ulein. Your boxes contain revolutionary literature.'
+
+'Some mistake!' I cried, warmly. I am but a drawing-room Socialist.
+
+'Not at all; look here.' And he drew a small book out of Elsie's
+portmanteau.
+
+What? Elsie a conspirator? Elsie in league with Nihilists? So mild and
+so meek! I could never have believed it. I took the book in my hands and
+read the title, 'Revolution of the Heavenly Bodies.'
+
+'But this is astronomy,' I burst out. 'Don't you see? Sun-and-star
+circling. The revolution of the planets.'
+
+'It matters not, Fr�ulein. Our instructions are strict. We have orders
+to intercept _all_ revolutionary literature without distinction.'
+
+'Come, Elsie,' I said, firmly, 'this is _too_ ridiculous. Let us give
+them a clear berth, these Kaiserly-Kingly blockheads!' So we registered
+our luggage right back to Lucerne, and cycled over the Gotthard.
+
+[Illustration: PAINTING THE SIGN-BOARD.]
+
+When at last, by leisurely stages, we arrived at Florence, I felt there
+was no use in doing things by halves. If you are going to start the
+Florentine School of Stenography and Typewriting, you may as well start
+it on a proper basis. So I took sunny rooms at a nice hotel for myself
+and Elsie, and hired a ground floor in a convenient house, close under
+the shadow of the great marble Campanile. (Considerations of space
+compel me to curtail the usual gush about Arnolfo and Giotto.) This was
+our office. When I had got a Tuscan painter to plant our flag in the
+shape of a sign-board, I sailed forth into the street and inspected it
+from outside with a swelling heart. It is true, the Tuscan painter's
+unaccountable predilection for the rare spellings 'Scool' without an _h_
+and 'Stenografy' with an _f_, somewhat damped my exuberant pride for the
+moment; but I made him take the board back and correct his Italianate
+English. As soon as all was fitted up with desk and tables we reposed
+upon our laurels, and waited only for customers in shoals to pour in
+upon us. _I_ called them 'customers'; Elsie maintained that we ought
+rather to say 'clients.' Being by temperament averse to sectarianism, I
+did not dispute the point with her.
+
+We reposed on our laurels--in vain. Neither customers nor clients seemed
+in any particular hurry to disturb our leisure.
+
+I confess I took this ill. It was a rude awakening. I had begun to
+regard myself as the special favourite of a fairy godmother; it
+surprised me to find that any undertaking of mine did not succeed
+immediately. However, reflecting that my fairy godmother's name was
+really Enterprise, I recalled Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock's advice, and
+advertised.
+
+'There's one good thing about Florence, Elsie,' I said, just to keep up
+her courage. 'When the customers _do_ come, they'll be interesting
+people, and it will be interesting work. Artistic work, don't you
+know--Fra Angelico, and Della Robbia, and all that sort of thing; or
+else fresh light on Dante and Petrarch!'
+
+'When they _do_ come, no doubt,' Elsie answered, dubiously. 'But do you
+know, Brownie, it strikes me there isn't quite that literary stir and
+ferment one might expect in Florence. Dante and Petrarch appear to be
+dead. The distinguished authors fail to stream in upon us as one
+imagined with manuscripts to copy.'
+
+I affected an air of confidence--for I had sunk capital in the concern
+(that's business-like--sunk capital!). 'Oh, we're a new firm,' I
+assented, carelessly. 'Our enterprise is yet young. When cultivated
+Florence learns we're here, cultivated Florence will invade us in its
+thousands.'
+
+But we sat in our office and bit our thumbs all day; the thousands
+stopped at home. We had ample opportunities for making studies of the
+decorative detail on the Campanile, till we knew every square inch of it
+better than Mr. Ruskin. Elsie's notebook contains, I believe, eleven
+hundred separate sketches of the Campanile, from the right end, the left
+end, and the middle of our window, with eight hundred and five distinct
+distortions of the individual statues that adorn its niches on the side
+turned towards us.
+
+At last, after we had sat, and bitten our thumbs, and sketched the Four
+Greater Prophets for a fortnight on end, an immense excitement occurred.
+An old gentleman was distinctly seen to approach and to look up at the
+sign-board which decorated our office.
+
+I instantly slipped in a sheet of foolscap, and began to type-write with
+alarming speed--click, click, click; while Elsie, rising to the
+occasion, set to work to transcribe imaginary shorthand as if her life
+depended upon it.
+
+The old gentleman, after a moment's hesitation, lifted the latch of the
+door somewhat nervously. I affected to take no notice of him, so
+breathless was the haste with which our immense business connection
+compelled me to finger the keyboard: but, looking up at him under my
+eyelashes, I could just make out he was a peculiarly bland and urbane
+old person, dressed with the greatest care, and some attention to
+fashion. His face was smooth; it tended towards portliness.
+
+He made up his mind, and entered the office. I continued to click till I
+had reached the close of a sentence--'Or to take arms against a sea of
+troubles, and by opposing, end them.' Then I looked up sharply. 'Can I
+do anything for you?' I inquired, in the smartest tone of business. (I
+observe that politeness is not professional.)
+
+[Illustration: THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN.]
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman came forward with his hat in his hand. He
+looked as if he had just landed from the Eighteenth Century. His figure
+was that of Mr. Edward Gibbon. 'Yes, madam,' he said, in a markedly
+deferential tone, fussing about with the rim of his hat as he spoke, and
+adjusting his _pince-nez_. 'I was recommended to your--ur--your
+establishment for shorthand and typewriting. I have some work which I
+wish done, if it falls within your province. But I am _rather_
+particular. I require a quick worker. Excuse my asking it, but how many
+words can you do a minute?'
+
+'Shorthand?' I asked, sharply, for I wished to imitate official habits.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman bowed. 'Yes, shorthand. Certainly.'
+
+I waved my hand with careless grace towards Elsie--as if these things
+happened to us daily. 'Miss Petheridge undertakes the shorthand
+department,' I said, with decision. 'I am the typewriting from
+dictation. Miss Petheridge, forward!'
+
+Elsie rose to it like an angel. 'A hundred,' she answered, confronting
+him.
+
+The old gentleman bowed again. 'And your terms?' he inquired, in a
+honey-tongued voice. 'If I may venture to ask them.'
+
+We handed him our printed tariff. He seemed satisfied.
+
+'Could you spare me an hour this morning?' he asked, still fingering his
+hat nervously with his puffy hand. 'But perhaps you are engaged. I fear
+I intrude upon you.'
+
+'Not at all,' I answered, consulting an imaginary engagement list. 'This
+work can wait. Let me see: 11.30. Elsie, I think you have nothing to do
+before one, that cannot be put off? Quite so!--very well, then; yes, we
+are both at your service.'
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman looked about him for a seat. I pushed him our
+one easy chair. He withdrew his gloves with great deliberation, and sat
+down in it with an apologetic glance. I could gather from his dress and
+his diamond pin that he was wealthy. Indeed, I half guessed who he was
+already. There was a fussiness about his manner which seemed strangely
+familiar to me.
+
+He sat down by slow degrees, edging himself about till he was thoroughly
+comfortable. I could see he was of the kind that will have comfort. He
+took out his notes and a packet of letters, which he sorted slowly. Then
+he looked hard at me and at Elsie. He seemed to be making his choice
+between us. After a time he spoke. 'I _think_,' he said, in a most
+leisurely voice, 'I will not trouble your friend to write shorthand for
+me, after all. Or should I say your assistant? Excuse my change of plan.
+I will content myself with dictation. You can follow on the machine?'
+
+'As fast as you choose to dictate to me.'
+
+He glanced at his notes and began a letter. It was a curious
+communication. It seemed to be all about buying Bertha and selling
+Clara--a cold-blooded proceeding which almost suggested slave-dealing. I
+gathered he was giving instructions to his agent: could he have business
+relations with Cuba, I wondered. But there were also hints of mysterious
+middies--brave British tars to the rescue, possibly! Perhaps my
+bewilderment showed itself upon my face, for at last he looked queerly
+at me. 'You don't quite like this, I'm afraid,' he said, breaking off
+short.
+
+I was the soul of business. 'Not at all,' I answered. 'I am an
+automaton--nothing more. It is a typewriter's function to transcribe the
+words a client dictates as if they were absolutely meaningless to her.'
+
+'Quite right,' he answered, approvingly. 'Quite right. I see you
+understand. A very proper spirit!'
+
+Then the Woman within me got the better of the Typewriter. 'Though I
+confess,' I continued, 'I _do_ feel it is a little unkind to
+sell Clara at once for whatever she will fetch. It seems to
+me--well--unchivalrous.'
+
+He smiled, but held his peace.
+
+'Still--the middies,' I went on: 'they will perhaps take care that these
+poor girls are not ill-treated.'
+
+He leaned back, clasped his hands, and regarded me fixedly. 'Bertha,' he
+said, after a pause, 'is Brighton A's--to be strictly correct, London,
+Brighton, and South Coast First Preference Debentures. Clara is Glasgow
+and South-Western Deferred Stock. Middies are Midland Ordinary. But I
+respect your feeling. You are a young lady of principle.' And he
+fidgeted more than ever.
+
+[Illustration: HE WENT ON DICTATING FOR JUST AN HOUR.]
+
+He went on dictating for just an hour. His subject-matter bewildered me.
+It was all about India Bills, and telegraphic transfers, and selling
+cotton short, and holding tight to Egyptian Unified. Markets, it seemed,
+were glutted. Hungarians were only to be dealt in if they
+hardened--hardened sinners I know, but what are hardened Hungarians? And
+fears were not unnaturally expressed that Turks might be 'irregular,'
+Consols, it appeared, were certain to give way for political reasons;
+but the downward tendency of Australians, I was relieved to learn, for
+the honour of so great a group of colonies, could only be temporary.
+Greeks were growing decidedly worse, though I had always understood
+Greeks were bad enough already; and Argentine Central were likely to be
+weak; but Provincials must soon become commendably firm, and if Uruguays
+went flat, something good ought to be made out of them. Scotch rails
+might shortly be quiet-- I always understood they were based upon
+sleepers; but if South-Eastern stiffened, advantage should certainly be
+taken of their stiffening. He would telegraph particulars on Monday
+morning. And so on till my brain reeled. Oh, artistic Florence! was
+_this_ the Filippo Lippi, the Michael Angelo I dreamed of?
+
+At the end of the hour, the Urbane Old Gentleman rose urbanely. He drew
+on his gloves again with the greatest deliberation, and hunted for his
+stick as if his life depended upon it. 'Let me see; I had a pencil; oh,
+thanks; yes, that is it. This cover protects the point. My hat? Ah,
+certainly. And my notes; much obliged; notes _always_ get mislaid.
+People are so careless. Then I will come again to-morrow; the same hour,
+if you will kindly keep yourself disengaged. Though, excuse me, you had
+better make an entry of it at once upon your agenda.'
+
+'I shall remember it,' I answered, smiling.
+
+'No; will you? But you haven't my name.'
+
+'I know it,' I answered. 'At least, I think so. You are Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst. Lady Georgina Fawley sent you here.'
+
+He laid down his hat and gloves again, so as to regard me more
+undistracted. 'You are a most remarkable young lady,' he said, in a very
+slow voice. 'I impressed upon Georgina that she must not mention to you
+that I was coming. How on earth did you recognise me?'
+
+'Intuition, most likely.'
+
+He stared at me with a sort of suspicion. '_Please_ don't tell me you
+think me like my sister,' he went on. 'For though, of course, every
+right-minded man feels--ur--a natural respect and affection for the
+members his family--bows, if I may so say, to the inscrutable decrees of
+Providence--which has mysteriously burdened him with them--still, there
+_are_ points about Lady Georgina which I cannot conscientiously assert I
+approve of.'
+
+I remembered 'Marmy's a fool,' and held my tongue judiciously.
+
+'I do not resemble her, I hope,' he persisted, with a look which I could
+almost describe as wistful.
+
+'A family likeness, perhaps,' I put in. 'Family likenesses exist, you
+know--often with complete divergence of tastes and character.'
+
+He looked relieved. 'That is true. Oh, how true! But the likeness in my
+case, I must admit, escapes me.'
+
+I temporised. 'Strangers see these things most,' I said, airing the
+stock platitudes. 'It may be superficial. And, of course, one knows that
+profound differences of intellect and moral feeling often occur within
+the limits of a single family.'
+
+'You are quite right,' he said, with decision. 'Georgina's principles
+are not mine. Excuse my remarking it, but you seem to be a young lady of
+unusual penetration.'
+
+I saw he took my remark as a compliment. What I really meant to say was
+that a commonplace man might easily be brother to so clever a woman as
+Lady Georgina.
+
+[Illustration: HE BOWED TO US EACH SEPARATELY.]
+
+He gathered up his hat, his stick, his gloves, his notes, and his
+typewritten letters, one by one, and backed out politely. He was a
+punctilious millionaire. He had risen by urbanity to his brother
+directors, like a model guinea-pig. He bowed to us each separately as if
+we had been duchesses.
+
+As soon as he was gone, Elsie turned to me. 'Brownie, how on earth did
+you guess it? They're so awfully different!'
+
+'Not at all,' I answered. 'A few surface unlikenesses only just mask an
+underlying identity. Their features are the same; but his are plump;
+hers, shrunken. Lady Georgina's expression is sharp and worldly; Mr.
+Ashurst's is smooth, and bland, and financial. And then their manner!
+Both are fussy; but Lady Georgina's is honest, open, ill-tempered
+fussiness; Mr. Ashurst's is concealed under an artificial mask of
+obsequious politeness. One's cantankerous; the other's only pernicketty.
+It's one tune, after all, in two different keys.'
+
+From that day forth, the Urbane Old Gentleman was a daily visitor. He
+took an hour at a time at first; but after a few days, the hour
+lengthened out (apologetically) to an entire morning. He 'presumed to
+ask' my Christian name the second day, and remembered my father--'a man
+of excellent principles.' But he didn't care for Elsie to work for him.
+Fortunately for her, other work dropped in, once we had found a client,
+or else, poor girl, she would have felt sadly slighted. I was glad she
+had something to do; the sense of dependence weighed heavily upon her.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman did not confine himself entirely, after the
+first few days, to Stock Exchange literature. He was engaged on a
+Work--he spoke of it always with bated breath, and a capital letter was
+implied in his intonation; the Work was one on the Interpretation of
+Prophecy. Unlike Lady Georgina, who was tart and crisp, Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst was devout and decorous; where she said 'pack of fools,' he
+talked with unction of 'the mental deficiencies of our poorer brethren.'
+But his religious opinions and his stockbroking had got strangely mixed
+up at the wash somehow. He was convinced that the British nation
+represented the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel--and in particular Ephraim--a
+matter on which, as a mere lay-woman, I would not presume either to
+agree with him or to differ from him. 'That being so, Miss Cayley, we
+can easily understand that the existing commercial prosperity of England
+depends upon the promises made to Abraham.'
+
+I assented, without committing myself. 'It would seem to follow.'
+
+Mr. Ashurst, encouraged by so much assent, went on to unfold his System
+of Interpretation, which was of a strictly commercial or
+company-promoting character. It ran like a prospectus. 'We have
+inherited the gold of Australia and the diamonds of the Cape,' he said,
+growing didactic, and lifting one fat forefinger; 'we are now inheriting
+Klondike and the Rand, for it is morally certain that we shall annex the
+Transvaal. Again, "the chief things of the ancient mountains, and the
+precious things of the everlasting hills." What does that mean? The
+ancient mountains are clearly the Rockies; can the everlasting hills be
+anything but the Himalayas? "For they shall suck of the abundance of the
+seas"--that refers, of course, to our world-wide commerce, due mainly to
+imports--"and of the treasures hid in the sand." Which sand?
+Undoubtedly, I say, the desert of Mount Sinai. What then is our obvious
+destiny? A lady of your intelligence must gather at once that it
+is----?' He paused and gazed at me.
+
+'To drive the Sultan out of Syria,' I suggested tentatively, 'and to
+annex Palestine to our practical province of Egypt?'
+
+He leaned back in his chair and folded his fat hands in undisguised
+satisfaction. 'Now, you are a thinker of exceptional penetration,' he
+broke out. 'Do you know, Miss Cayley, I have tried to make that point
+clear to the War Office, and the Prime Minister, and many leading
+financiers in the City of London, and I _can't_ get them to see it. They
+have no heads, those people. But _you_ catch at it at a glance. Why, I
+endeavoured to interest Rothschild and induce him to join me in my
+Palestine Development Syndicate, and, will you believe it, the man
+refused point blank. Though if he had only looked at Nahum iii. 17----'
+
+'Mere financiers,' I said, smiling, 'will not consider these questions
+from a historical and prophetic point of view. They see nothing above
+percentages.'
+
+'That's it,' he replied, lighting up. 'They have no higher feelings.
+Though, mind you, there will be dividends too; mark my words, there will
+be dividends. This syndicate, besides fulfilling the prophecies, will
+pay forty per cent on every penny embarked in it.'
+
+'Only forty per cent for Ephraim!' I murmured, half below my breath.
+'Why, Judah is said to batten upon sixty.'
+
+He caught at it eagerly, without perceiving my gentle sarcasm.
+
+'In that case, we might even expect seventy,' he put in with a gasp of
+anticipation. 'Though I approached Rothschild first with my scheme on
+purpose, so that Israel and Judah might once more unite in sharing the
+promises.'
+
+'Your combined generosity and commercial instinct does you credit,' I
+answered. 'It is rare to find so much love for an abstract study side by
+side with such conspicuous financial ability.'
+
+His guilelessness was beyond words. He swallowed it like an infant. 'So
+I think,' he answered. 'I am glad to observe that you understand my
+character. Mere City men don't. They have no soul above shekels. Though,
+as I show them, there are shekels in it, too. Dividends, dividends,
+di-vidends. But _you_ are a lady of understanding and comprehension. You
+have been to Girton, haven't you? Perhaps you read Greek, then?'
+
+'Enough to get on with.'
+
+'Could you look things up in Herodotus?'
+
+'Certainly?'
+
+'In the original?'
+
+'Oh, dear, yes.'
+
+He regarded me once more with the same astonished glance. His own
+classics, I soon learnt, were limited to the amount which a public
+school succeeds in dinning, during the intervals of cricket and football
+into an English gentleman. Then he informed me that he wished me to hunt
+up certain facts in Herodotus "and elsewhere" confirmatory of his view
+that the English were the descendants of the Ten Tribes. I promised to
+do so, swallowing even that comprehensive "elsewhere." It was none of my
+business to believe or disbelieve: I was paid to get up a case, and I
+got one up to the best of my ability. I imagine it was at least as good
+as most other cases in similar matters: at any rate, it pleased the old
+gentleman vastly.
+
+By dint of listening, I began to like him. But Elsie couldn't bear him.
+She hated the fat crease at the back of his neck, she told me.
+
+After a week or two devoted to the Interpretation of Prophecy on a
+strictly commercial basis of Founders' Shares, with interludes of mining
+engineers' reports upon the rubies of Mount Sinai and the supposed
+auriferous quartzites of Palestine, the Urbane Old Gentleman trotted
+down to the office one day, carrying a packet of notes of most
+voluminous magnitude. "Can we work in a room alone this morning, Miss
+Cayley?" he asked, with mystery in his voice: he was always mysterious.
+"I want to intrust you with a piece of work of an exceptionally private
+and confidential character. It concerns Property. In point of fact," he
+dropped his voice to a whisper. "I want you to draw up my will for me."
+
+"Certainly," I said, opening the door into the back office. But I
+trembled in my shoes. Could this mean that he was going to draw up a
+will, disinheriting Harold Tillington?
+
+And, suppose he did, what then? My heart was in a tumult. If Harold were
+rich--well and good, I could never marry him. But, if Harold were poor--
+I must keep my promise. Could I wish him to be rich? Could I wish him to
+be poor? My heart stood divided two ways within me.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman began with immense deliberation, as befits a
+man of principle when Property is at stake. 'You will kindly take down
+notes from my dictation,' he said, fussing with his papers; 'and
+afterwards, I will ask you to be so good as to copy it all out fair on
+your typewriter for signature.'
+
+'Is a typewritten form legal?' I ventured to inquire.
+
+'A most perspicacious young lady!' he interjected, well pleased. 'I have
+investigated that point, and find it perfectly regular. Only, if I may
+venture to say so, there should be no erasures.'
+
+'There shall be none,' I answered.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman leant back in his easy chair, and began
+dictating from his notes with tantalising deliberateness. This was the
+last will and testament of him, Marmaduke Courtney Ashurst. Its verbiage
+wearied me. I was eager for him to come to the point about Harold.
+Instead of that, he did what it seems is usual in such cases--set out
+with a number of unimportant legacies to old family servants and other
+hangers-on among 'our poorer brethren.' I fumed and fretted inwardly.
+Next came a series of quaint bequests of a quite novel character. 'I
+give and bequeath to James Walsh and Sons, of 720 High Holborn, London,
+the sum of Five Hundred Pounds, in consideration of the benefit they
+have conferred upon humanity by the invention of a sugar-spoon or silver
+sugar-sifter, by means of which it is possible to dust sugar upon a
+tart or pudding without letting the whole or the greater part of the
+material run through the apertures uselessly in transit. You must have
+observed, Miss Cayley--with your usual perspicacity--that most
+sugar-sifters allow the sugar to fall through them on to the table
+prematurely.'
+
+'I have noticed it,' I answered, trembling with anxiety.
+
+'James Walsh and Sons, acting on a hint from me, have succeeded in
+inventing a form of spoon which does not possess that regrettable
+drawback. "Run through the apertures uselessly in transit," I think I
+said last. Yes, thank you. Very good. We will now continue. And I give
+and bequeath the like sum of Five Hundred Pounds--did I say, free of
+legacy duty? No? Then please add it to James Walsh's clause. Five
+Hundred Pounds, free of legacy duty, to Thomas Webster Jones, of Wheeler
+Street, Soho, for his admirable invention of a pair of braces which will
+not slip down on the wearer's shoulders after half an hour's use. Most
+braces, you must have observed, Miss Cayley----'
+
+'My acquaintance with braces is limited, not to say abstract,' I
+interposed, smiling.
+
+He gazed at me, and twirled his fat thumbs.
+
+'_Of_ course,' he murmured. '_Of_ course. But most braces, you may not
+be aware, slip down unpleasantly on the shoulder-blade, and so lead to
+an awkward habit of hitching them up by the sleeve-hole of the waistcoat
+at frequent intervals. Such a habit must be felt to be ungraceful.
+Thomas Webster Jones, to whom I pointed out this error of manufacture,
+has invented a brace the two halves of which diverge at a higher angle
+than usual, and fasten further towards the centre of the body in
+front--pardon these details--so as to obviate that difficulty. He has
+given me satisfaction, and he deserves to be rewarded.'
+
+I heard through it all the voice of Lady Georgina observing, tartly,
+'Why the idiots can't make braces to fit one at first passes _my_
+comprehension. But, there, my dear; the people who manufacture them are
+a set of born fools, and what can you expect from an imbecile?' Mr.
+Ashurst was Lady Georgina, veneered with a thin layer of ingratiating
+urbanity. Lady Georgina was clever, and therefore acrimonious. Mr.
+Ashurst was astute, and therefore obsequious.
+
+He went on with legacies to the inventor of a sauce-bottle which did not
+let the last drop dribble down so as to spot the table-cloth; of a
+shoe-horn the handle of which did not come undone; and of a pair of
+sleeve-links which you could put off and on without injury to the
+temper. 'A real benefactor, Miss Cayley; a real benefactor to the
+link-wearing classes; for he has sensibly diminished the average annual
+output of profane swearing.'
+
+When he left Five Hundred Pounds to his faithful servant Frederic
+Higginson, courier, I was tempted to interpose; but I refrained in time,
+and I was glad of it afterwards.
+
+At last, after many divagations, my Urbane Old Gentleman arrived at the
+central point--'and I give and bequeath to my nephew, Harold Ashurst
+Tillington, Younger of Gledcliffe, Dumfriesshire, attach� to Her
+Majesty's Embassy at Rome----'
+
+[Illustration: I WAITED BREATHLESS.]
+
+I waited, breathless.
+
+He was annoyingly dilatory. 'My house and estate of Ashurst Court, in
+the County of Gloucester, and my town house at 24 Park Lane North, in
+London, together with the residue of all my estate, real or
+personal----' and so forth.
+
+I breathed again. At least, I had not been called upon to disinherit
+Harold.
+
+'Provided always----' he went on, in the same voice.
+
+I wondered what was coming.
+
+'Provided always that the said Harold Ashurst Tillington does not
+marry----leave a blank there, Miss Cayley. I will find out the name of
+the young person I desire to exclude, and fill it in afterward. I don't
+recollect it at this moment, but Higginson, no doubt, will be able to
+supply the deficiency. In fact, I don't think I ever heard it; though
+Higginson has told me all about the woman.'
+
+'Higginson?' I inquired. 'Is he here?'
+
+'Oh, dear, yes. You heard of him, I suppose, from Georgina. Georgina is
+prejudiced. He has come back to me, I am glad to say. An excellent
+servant, Higginson, though a trifle too omniscient. All men are equal in
+the eyes of their Maker, of course; but we must have due subordination.
+A courier ought not to be better informed than his master--or ought at
+least to conceal the fact dexterously. Well, Higginson knows this young
+person's name; my sister wrote to me about her disgraceful conduct when
+she first went to Schlangenbad. An adventuress, it seems; an
+adventuress; quite a shocking creature. Foisted herself upon Lady
+Georgina in Kensington Gardens--unintroduced, if you can believe such a
+thing--with the most astonishing effrontery; and Georgina, who will
+forgive anything on earth, for the sake of what she calls
+originality--another name for impudence, as I am sure you must
+know--took the young woman with her as her maid to Germany. There, this
+minx tried to set her cap at my nephew Harold, who can be caught at once
+by a pretty face; and Harold was bowled over--almost got engaged to her.
+Georgina took a fancy to the girl later, having a taste for dubious
+people (I cannot say I approve of Georgina's friends), and wrote again
+to say her first suspicions were unfounded: the young woman was in
+reality a paragon of virtue. But _I_ know better than that. Georgina has
+no judgment. I regret to be obliged to confess it, but cleverness, I
+fear, is the only thing in the world my excellent sister cares for. The
+hussy, it seems, was certainly clever. Higginson has told me about her.
+He says her bare appearance would suffice to condemn her--a bold, fast,
+shameless, brazen-faced creature. But you will forgive me, I am sure, my
+dear young lady: I ought not to discuss such painted Jezebels before
+you. We will leave this person's name blank. I will not sully your
+pen--I mean, your typewriter--by asking you to transcribe it.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said, looking up from my
+keyboard, '_I_ can give you this girl's name; and then you can insert
+the proviso immediately.'
+
+'_You_ can? My dear young lady, what a wonderful person you are! You
+seem to know everybody, and everything. But perhaps she was at
+Schlangenbad with Lady Georgina, and you were there also?'
+
+'She was,' I answered, deliberately. 'The name you want is--Lois
+Cayley!'
+
+He let his notes drop in his astonishment.
+
+I went on with my typewriting, unmoved. 'Provided always that the said
+Harold Ashurst Tillington does not marry Lois Cayley; in which case I
+will and desire that the said estate shall pass to----whom shall I put
+in, Mr. Ashurst?'
+
+He leant forward with his fat hands on his ample knees. 'It was really
+_you_?' he inquired, open-mouthed.
+
+I nodded. 'There is no use in denying the truth. Mr. Tillington did ask
+me to be his wife, and I refused him.'
+
+'But, my dear Miss Cayley----'
+
+'The difference in station?' I said; 'the difference, still greater, in
+this world's goods? Yes, I know. I admit all that. So I declined his
+offer. I did not wish to ruin his prospects.'
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman eyed me with a sudden tenderness in his glance.
+'Young men are lucky,' he said, slowly, after a short pause; '--and--
+Higginson is an idiot. I say it deliberately--an idiot! How could one
+dream of trusting the judgment of a flunkey about a lady? My dear,
+excuse the familiarity from one who may consider himself in a certain
+sense a contingent uncle--suppose we amend the last clause by the
+omission of the word _not_. It strikes me as superfluous. "Provided
+always the said Harold Ashurst Tillington consents to marry"-- I think
+that sounds better!'
+
+He looked at me with such fatherly regard that it pricked my heart ever
+to have poked fun at his Interpretation of Prophecy on Stock Exchange
+principles. I think I flushed crimson. 'No, no,' I answered, firmly.
+'That will not do either, please. That's worse than the other way. You
+must not put it, Mr. Ashurst. I could not consent to be willed away to
+anybody.'
+
+He leant forward, with real earnestness. 'My dear,' he said, 'that's not
+the point. Pardon my reminding you that you are here in your capacity as
+my amanuensis. I am drawing up my will, and if you will allow me to say
+so, I cannot admit that anyone has a claim to influence me in the
+disposition of my Property.'
+
+'_Please!_' I cried, pleadingly.
+
+He looked at me and paused. 'Well,' he went on at last, after a long
+interval; 'since _you_ insist upon it, I will leave the bequest to stand
+without condition.'
+
+'Thank you,' I murmured, bending low over my machine.'
+
+'If I did as I like, though,' he went on, 'I should say, Unless he
+marries Miss Lois Cayley (who is a deal too good for him) the estate
+shall revert to Kynaston's eldest son, a confounded jackass. I do not
+usually indulge in intemperate language; but I desire to assure you,
+with the utmost calmness, that Kynaston's eldest son, Lord Southminster,
+is a con-founded jackass.'
+
+I rose and took his hand in my own spontaneously. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said,
+'you may interpret prophecy as long as ever you like, but you are a dear
+kind old gentleman. I am truly grateful to you for your good opinion.
+
+'And you will marry Harold?'
+
+'Never,' I answered; 'while he is rich. I have said as much to him.'
+
+'That's hard,' he went on, slowly. 'For ... I should like to be your
+uncle.'
+
+I trembled all over. Elsie saved the situation by bursting in abruptly.
+
+I will only add that when Mr. Ashurst left, I copied the will out
+neatly, without erasures. The rough original I threw (somewhat
+carelessly) into the waste-paper basket.
+
+That afternoon, somebody called to fetch the fair copy for Mr. Ashurst.
+I went out into the front office to see him. To my surprise, it was
+Higginson--in his guise as courier.
+
+[Illustration: WHAT, YOU HERE! HE CRIED.]
+
+He was as astonished as myself. 'What, _you_ here!' he cried. 'You dog
+me!'
+
+'I was thinking the same thing of you, M. le Comte,' I answered,
+curtsying.
+
+He made no attempt at an excuse. 'Well, I have been sent for the will,'
+he broke out, curtly.
+
+'And you were sent for the jewel-case,' I retorted. 'No, no, Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley; _I_ am in charge of the will, and I will take it
+myself to Mr. Ashurst.'
+
+'I will be even with you yet,' he snapped out. 'I have gone back to my
+old trade, and am trying to lead an honest life; but _you_ won't let
+me.'
+
+'On the contrary,' I answered, smiling a polite smile. 'I rejoice to
+hear it. If you say nothing more against me to your employer, I will not
+disclose to him what I know about you. But if you slander me, I will. So
+now we understand one another.'
+
+And I kept the will till I could give it myself into Mr Ashurst's own
+hands in his rooms that evening.
+
+
+
+
+VII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNOBTRUSIVE OASIS
+
+
+I will not attempt to describe to you the minor episodes of our next
+twelve months--the manuscripts we type-wrote and the Manitous we sold.
+'Tis one of my aims in a world so rich in bores to avoid being tedious.
+I will merely say, therefore, that we spent the greater part of the year
+in Florence, where we were building up a connection, but rode back for
+the summer months to Switzerland, as being a livelier place for the
+trade in bicycles. The net result was not only that we covered our
+expenses, but that, as chancellor of the exchequer, I found myself with
+a surplus in hand at the end of the season.
+
+When we returned to Florence for the winter, however, I confess I began
+to chafe. 'This is slow work, Elsie!' I said. 'I started out to go round
+the world; it has taken me eighteen months to travel no further than
+Italy! At this rate, I shall reach New York a gray-haired old lady, in a
+nice lace cap, and totter back into London a venerable crone on the
+verge of ninety.'
+
+However, those invaluable doctors came to my rescue unexpectedly. I do
+love doctors; they are always sending you off at a moment's notice to
+delightful places you never dreamt of. Elsie was better, but still far
+from strong. I took it upon me to consult our medical attendant; and
+his verdict was decisive. He did just what a doctor ought to do. 'She is
+getting on very well in Florence,' he said; 'but if you want to restore
+her health completely, I should advise you to take her for a winter to
+Egypt. After six months of the dry, warm desert air, I don't doubt she
+might return to her work in London.'
+
+That last point I used as a lever with Elsie. She positively revels in
+teaching mathematics. At first, to be sure, she objected that we had
+only just money enough to pay our way to Cairo, and that when we got
+there we might starve--her favourite programme. I have not this
+extraordinary taste for starving; _my_ idea is, to go where you like,
+and find something decent to eat when you get there. However, to humour
+her, I began to cast about me for a source of income. There is no
+absolute harm in seeing your way clear before you for a twelvemonth,
+though of course it deprives you of the plot-interest of poverty.
+
+'Elsie,' I said, in my best didactic style--I excel in didactics--'you
+do not learn from the lessons that life sets before you. Look at the
+stage, for example; the stage is universally acknowledged at the present
+day to be a great teacher of morals. Does not Irving say so?--and he
+ought to know. There is that splendid model for imitation, for instance,
+the Clown in the pantomime. How does Clown regulate his life? Does he
+take heed for the morrow? Not a bit of it! "I wish I had a goose," he
+says, at some critical juncture; and just as he says it--pat--a super
+strolls upon the stage with a property goose on a wooden tray; and Clown
+cries, "Oh, look here, Joey; _here's_ a goose!" and proceeds to
+appropriate it. Then he puts his fingers in his mouth and observes, "I
+wish I had a few apples to make the sauce with"; and as the words escape
+him--pat again--a small boy with a very squeaky voice runs on, carrying
+a basket of apples. Clown trips him up, and bolts with the basket.
+_There's_ a model for imitation! The stage sets these great moral
+lessons before you regularly every Christmas; yet you fail to profit by
+them. Govern your life on the principles exemplified by Clown; expect to
+find that whatever you want will turn up with punctuality and dispatch
+at the proper moment. Be adventurous and you will be happy. Take that as
+a new maxim to put in your copy-book!'
+
+'I wish I could think so, dear,' Elsie answered. 'But your confidence
+staggers me.'
+
+That evening at our _table-d'h�te_, however, it was amply justified. A
+smooth-faced young man of ample girth and most prosperous exterior
+happened to sit next us. He had his wife with him, so I judged it safe
+to launch on conversation. We soon found out he was the millionaire
+editor-proprietor of a great London daily, with many more strings to his
+journalistic bow; his honoured name was Elworthy. I mentioned casually
+that we thought of going for the winter to Egypt. He pricked his ears
+up. But at the time he said nothing. After dinner, we adjourned to the
+cosy _salon_. I talked to him and his wife; and somehow, that evening,
+the devil entered into me. I am subject to devils. I hasten to add, they
+are mild ones. I had one of my reckless moods just then, however, and I
+reeled off rattling stories of our various adventures. Mr. Elworthy
+believed in youth and audacity; I could see I interested him. The more
+he was amused, the more reckless I became. 'That's bright,' he said at
+last, when I told him the tale of our amateur exploits in the sale of
+Manitous. 'That would make a good article!'
+
+'Yes,' I answered, with bravado, determined to strike while the iron
+was hot. 'What the _Daily Telephone_ lacks is just one enlivening touch
+of feminine brightness.'
+
+He smiled. 'What is your forte?' he inquired.
+
+'My forte,' I answered, 'is--to go where I choose, and write what I like
+about it.'
+
+He smiled again. 'And a very good new departure in journalism, too! A
+roving commission! Have you ever tried your hand at writing?'
+
+Had I ever tried! It was the ambition of my life to see myself in print;
+though, hitherto, it had been ineffectual. 'I have written a few
+sketches,' I answered, with becoming modesty. As a matter of fact, our
+office bulged with my unpublished manuscripts.
+
+'Could you let me see them?' he asked.
+
+I assented, with inner joy, but outer reluctance. 'If you wish it,' I
+murmured; 'but--you must be _very_ lenient!'
+
+[Illustration: HE READ THEM, CRUEL MAN, BEFORE MY VERY EYES.]
+
+Though I had not told Elsie, the truth of the matter was, I had just
+then conceived an idea for a novel--my _magnum opus_--the setting of
+which compelled Egyptian local colour; and I was therefore dying to get
+to Egypt, if chance so willed it. I submitted a few of my picked
+manuscripts accordingly to Mr. Elworthy, in fear and trembling. He read
+them, cruel man, before my very eyes; I sat and waited, twiddling my
+thumbs, demure but apprehensive.
+
+When he had finished, he laid them down.
+
+'Racy!' he said. 'Racy! You're quite right, Miss Cayley. That's just
+what we want on the _Daily Telephone_. I should like to print these
+three,' selecting them out, 'at our usual rate of pay per thousand.'
+
+'You are very kind.' But the room reeled with me.
+
+'Not at all. I am a man of business. And these are good copy. Now, about
+this Egypt. I will put the matter in the shape of a business
+proposition. Will you undertake, if I pay your passage, and your
+friend's, with all travelling expenses, to let me have three descriptive
+articles a week, on Cairo, the Nile, Syria, and India, running to about
+two thousand words apiece, at three guineas a thousand?'
+
+My breath came and went. It was positive opulence. The super with the
+goose couldn't approach it for patness. My editor had brought me the
+apple sauce as well, without even giving me the trouble of cooking it.
+
+The very next day everything was arranged. Elsie tried to protest, on
+the foolish ground that she had no money: but the faculty had ordered
+the apex of her right lung to go to Egypt, and I couldn't let her fly in
+the face of the faculty. We secured our berths in a P. and O. steamer
+from Brindisi; and within a week we were tossing upon the bosom of the
+blue Mediterranean.
+
+People who haven't crossed the blue Mediterranean cherish an absurd idea
+that it is always calm and warm and sunny. I am sorry to take away any
+sea's character; but I speak of it as I find it (to borrow a phrase from
+my old gyp at Girton); and I am bound to admit that the Mediterranean
+did not treat me as a lady expects to be treated. It behaved
+disgracefully. People may rhapsodize as long as they choose about a life
+on the ocean wave; for my own part, I wouldn't give a pin for
+sea-sickness. We glided down the Adriatic from Brindisi to Corfu with a
+reckless profusion of lateral motion which suggested the idea that the
+ship must have been drinking.
+
+I tried to rouse Elsie when we came abreast of the Ionian Islands, and
+to remind her that 'Here was the home of Nausicaa in the Odyssey.' Elsie
+failed to respond; she was otherwise occupied. At last, I succumbed and
+gave it up. I remember nothing further till a day and a half later, when
+we got under lee of Crete, and the ship showed a tendency to resume the
+perpendicular. Then I began once more to take a languid interest in the
+dinner question.
+
+I may add parenthetically that the Mediterranean is a mere bit of a sea,
+when you look at it on the map--a pocket sea, to be regarded with
+mingled contempt and affection; but you learn to respect it when you
+find that it takes four clear days and nights of abject misery merely to
+run across its eastern basin from Brindisi to Alexandria. I respected
+the Mediterranean immensely while we lay off the Peloponnesus in the
+trough of the waves with a north wind blowing; I only began to temper my
+respect with a distant liking when we passed under the welcome shelter
+of Crete on a calm, star-lit evening.
+
+It was deadly cold. We had not counted upon such weather in the sunny
+south. I recollected now that the Greeks were wont to represent Boreas
+as a chilly deity, and spoke of the Thracian breeze with the same
+deferentially deprecating adjectives which we ourselves apply to the
+east wind of our fatherland; but that apt classical memory somehow
+failed to console or warm me. A good-natured male passenger, however,
+volunteered to ask us, 'Will I get ye a rug, ladies?' The form of his
+courteous question suggested the probability of his Irish origin.
+
+'You are very kind,' I answered. 'If you don't want it for yourself, I'm
+sure my friend would be glad to have the use of it.'
+
+'Is it meself? Sure I've got me big ulsther, and I'm as warrum as a
+toast in it. But ye're not provided for this weather. Ye've thrusted too
+much to those rascals the po-uts. 'Where breaks the blue Sicilian say,'
+the rogues write. _I'd_ like to set them down in it, wid a nor'-easter
+blowing!'
+
+He fetched up his rug. It was ample and soft, a smooth brown camel-hair.
+He wrapped us both up in it. We sat late on deck that night, as warm as
+a toast ourselves, thanks to our genial Irishman.
+
+[Illustration: 'TIS DOCTOR MACLOGHLEN, HE ANSWERED.]
+
+We asked his name. ''Tis Dr. Macloghlen,' he answered. 'I'm from County
+Clare, ye see; and I'm on me way to Egypt for thravel and exploration.
+Me fader whisht me to see the worruld a bit before I'd settle down to
+practise me profession at Liscannor. Have ye ever been in County Clare?
+Sure, 'tis the pick of Oireland.'
+
+'We have that pleasure still in store,' I answered, smiling. 'It spreads
+gold-leaf over the future, as George Meredith puts it.'
+
+'Is it Meredith? Ah, there's the foine writer! 'Tis jaynius the man has:
+I can't undtherstand a word of him. But he's half Oirish, ye know. What
+proof have I got of it? An' would he write like that if there wasn't a
+dhrop of the blood of the Celt in him?'
+
+Next day and next night, Mr. Macloghlen was our devoted slave. I had won
+his heart by admitting frankly that his countrywomen had the finest and
+liveliest eyes in Europe--eyes with a deep twinkle, half fun, half
+passion. He took to us at once, and talked to us incessantly. He was a
+red-haired, raw-boned Munster-man, but a real good fellow. We forgot the
+aggressive inequalities of the Mediterranean while he talked to us of
+'the pizzantry.' Late the second evening he propounded a confidence. It
+was a lovely night; Orion overhead, and the plashing phosphorescence on
+the water below conspired with the hour to make him specially
+confidential. 'Now, Miss Cayley,' he said, leaning forward on his deck
+chair, and gazing earnestly into my eyes, 'there's wan question I'd like
+to ask ye. The ambition of me life is to get into Parlimint. And I want
+to know from ye, as a frind--if I accomplish me heart's wish--is there
+annything, in me apparence, ar in me voice, ar in me accent, ar in me
+manner, that would lade annybody to suppose I was an Oirishman?'
+
+I succeeded, by good luck, in avoiding Elsie's eye. What on earth could
+I answer? Then a happy thought struck me. 'Dr. Macloghlen,' I said, 'it
+would not be the slightest use your trying to conceal it; for even if
+nobody ever detected a faint Irish intonation in your words or
+phrases--how could your eloquence fail to betray you for a countryman of
+Sheridan and Burke and Grattan?'
+
+He seized my hand with such warmth that I thought it best to hurry down
+to my state-room at once, under cover of my compliment.
+
+At Alexandria and Cairo we found him invaluable. He looked after our
+luggage, which he gallantly rescued from the lean hands of fifteen Arab
+porters, all eagerly struggling to gain possession of our effects; he
+saw us safe into the train; and he never quitted us till he had safely
+ensconced us in our rooms at Shepheard's. For himself, he said, with
+subdued melancholy, 'twas to some cheaper hotel he must go; Shepheard's
+wasn't for the likes of him; though if land in County Clare was wort'
+what it ought to be, there wasn't a finer estate in all Oireland than
+his fader's.
+
+Our Mr. Elworthy was a modern proprietor, who knew how to do things on
+the lordly scale. Having commissioned me to write this series of
+articles, he intended them to be written in the first style of art, and
+he had instructed me accordingly to hire one of Cook's little steam
+dahabeeahs, where I could work at leisure. Dr. Macloghlen was in his
+element arranging for the trip. 'Sure the only thing I mind,' he said,
+'is--that I'll not be going wid ye.' I think he was half inclined to
+invite himself; but there again I drew a line. I will not sell salt
+fish; and I will not go up the Nile, unchaperoned, with a casual man
+acquaintance.
+
+He did the next best thing, however: he took a place in a sailing
+dahabeeah; and as we steamed up slowly, stopping often on the way, to
+give me time to write my articles, he managed to arrive almost always at
+every town or ruin exactly when we did.
+
+I will not describe the voyage. The Nile is the Nile. Just at first,
+before we got used to it, we conscientiously looked up the name of every
+village we passed on the bank in our Murray and our Baedeker. After a
+couple of days' Niling, however, we found that formality quite
+unnecessary. They were all the same village, under a number of aliases.
+They did not even take the trouble to disguise themselves anew, like Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley, on each fresh appearance. They had every one of them
+a small whitewashed mosque, with a couple of tall minarets; and around
+it spread a number of mud-built cottages, looking more like bee-hives
+than human habitations. They had also every one of them a group of
+date-palms, overhanging a cluster of mean bare houses; and they all
+alike had a picturesque and even imposing air from a distance, but faded
+away into indescribable squalor as one got abreast of them. Our progress
+was monotonous. At twelve, noon, we would pass Aboo-Teeg, with its
+mosque, its palms, its mud-huts, and its camels; then for a couple of
+hours we would go on through the midst of a green field on either side,
+studded by more mud-huts, and backed up by a range of gray desert
+mountains; only to come at 2 P.M., twenty miles higher up, upon
+Aboo-Teeg once more, with the same mosque, the same mud-huts, and the
+same haughty camels, placidly chewing the same aristocratic cud, but
+under the alias of Koos-kam. After a wild hubbub at the quay, we would
+leave Koos-kam behind, with its camels still serenely munching
+day-before-yesterday's dinner; and twenty miles further on, again,
+having passed through the same green plain, backed by the same gray
+mountains, we would stop once more at the identical Koos-kam, which this
+time absurdly described itself as Tahtah. But whether it was Aboo-Teeg
+or Koos-kam or Tahtah or anything else, only the name differed: it was
+always the same town, and had always the same camels at precisely the
+same stage of the digestive process. It seemed to us immaterial whether
+you saw all the Nile or only five miles of it. It was just like
+wall-paper. A sample sufficed; the whole was the sample infinitely
+repeated.
+
+However, I had my letters to write, and I wrote them valiantly. I
+described the various episodes of the complicated digestive process in
+the camel in the minutest detail. I gloated over the date-palms, which I
+knew in three days as if I had been brought up upon dates. I gave
+word-pictures of every individual child, veiled woman, Arab sheikh, and
+Coptic priest whom we encountered on the voyage. And I am open to
+reprint those conscientious studies of mud-huts and minarets with any
+enterprising publisher who will make me an offer.
+
+[Illustration: TOO MUCH NILE.]
+
+Another disillusion weighed upon my soul. Before I went up the Nile, I
+had a fancy of my own that the bank was studded with endless ruined
+temples, whose vast red colonnades were reflected in the water at every
+turn. I think Macaulay's Lays were primarily answerable for that
+particular misapprehension. As a matter of fact, it surprised me to find
+that we often went for two whole days' hard steaming without ever a
+temple breaking the monotony of those eternal date-palms, those calm and
+superciliously irresponsive camels. In my humble opinion, Egypt is a
+fraud; there is too much Nile--very dirty Nile at that--and not nearly
+enough temple. Besides, the temples, when you _do_ come up with them,
+are just like the villages; they are the same temple over again, under a
+different name each time, and they have the same gods, the same kings,
+the same wearisome bas-reliefs, except that the gentleman in a chariot,
+ten feet high, who is mowing down enemies a quarter his own size, with
+unsportsmanslike recklessness, is called Rameses in this place, and
+Sethi in that, and Amen-hotep in the other. With this trifling
+variation, when you have seen one temple, one obelisk, one hieroglyphic
+table, you have seen the whole of Ancient Egypt.
+
+At last, after many days' voyage through the same scenery daily--rising
+in the morning off a village with a mosque, ten palms, and two minarets,
+and retiring late at night off the same village once more, with mosque,
+palms, and minarets, as before, _da capo_--we arrived one evening at a
+place called Geergeh. In itself, I believe, Geergeh did not differ
+materially from all the other places we had passed on our voyage: it had
+its mosque, its ten palms, and its two minarets as usual. But I remember
+its name, because something mysterious went wrong there with our
+machinery; and the engineer informed us we must wait at least three days
+to mend it. Dr. Macloghlen's dahabeeah happened opportunely to arrive
+at the same spot on the same day; and he declared with fervour he would
+'see us through our throubles.' But what on earth were we to do with
+ourselves through three long days and nights at Geergeh? There were the
+ruins of Abydus close at hand, to be sure; though I defy anybody not a
+professed Egyptologist to give more than one day to the ruins of Abydus.
+In this emergency, Dr. Macloghlen came gallantly to our aid. He
+discovered by inquiring from an English-speaking guide that there was an
+unobtrusive oasis, never visited by Europeans, one long day's journey
+off, across the desert. As a rule, it takes at least three days to get
+camels and guides together for such an expedition: for Egypt is not a
+land to hurry in. But the indefatigable Doctor further unearthed the
+fact that a sheikh had just come in, who (for a consideration) would
+lend us camels for a two days' trip; and we seized the chance to do our
+duty by Mr. Elworthy and the world-wide circulation. An unvisited
+oasis--and two Christian ladies to be the first to explore it: there's
+journalistic enterprise for you! If we happened to be killed, so much
+the better for the _Daily Telephone_. I pictured the excitement at
+Piccadilly Circus. 'Extra Special, Our Own Correspondent brutally
+murdered!' I rejoiced at the opportunity.
+
+I cannot honestly say that Elsie rejoiced with me. She cherished a
+prejudice against camels, massacres, and the new journalism. She didn't
+like being murdered: though this was premature, for she had never tried
+it. She objected that the fanatical Mohammedans of the Senoosi sect, who
+were said to inhabit the oasis in question, might cut our throats for
+dogs of infidels. I pointed out to her at some length that it was just
+that chance which added zest to our expedition as a journalistic
+venture: fancy the glory of being the first lady journalists martyred in
+the cause! But she failed to grasp this aspect of the question.
+However, if I went, she would go too, she said, like a dear girl that
+she is: she would not desert me when I was getting my throat cut.
+
+[Illustration: EMPHASIS.]
+
+Dr. Macloghlen made the bargain for us, and insisted on accompanying us
+across the desert. He told us his method of negotiation with the Arabs
+with extreme gusto. '"Is it pay in advance ye want?" says I to the dirty
+beggars: "divvil a penny will ye get till ye bring these ladies safe
+back to Geergeh. And remimber, Mr. Sheikh," says I, fingering me pistol,
+so, by way of emphasis, "we take no money wid us; so if yer friends at
+Wadi Bou choose to cut our throats, 'tis for the pleasure of it they'll
+be cutting them, not for anything they'll gain by it." "Provisions,
+effendi?" says he, salaaming. "Provisions, is it?" says I. "Take
+everything ye'll want wid you; I suppose ye can buy food fit for a
+Crischun in the bazaar in Geergeh; and never wan penny do ye touch for
+it all till ye've landed us on the bank again, as safe as ye took us. So
+if the religious sintiments of the faithful at Wadi Bou should lade them
+to hack us to pieces," says I, just waving me revolver, "thin 'tis
+yerself that will be out of pocket by it." And the ould divvil cringed
+as if he took me for the Prince of Wales. Faix, 'tis the purse that's
+the best argumint to catch these haythen Arabs upon.'
+
+When we set out for the desert in the early dawn next day, it looked as
+if we were starting for a few months' voyage. We had a company of camels
+that might have befitted a caravan. We had two large tents, one for
+ourselves, and one for Dr. Macloghlen, with a third to dine in. We had
+bedding, and cushions, and drinking water tied up in swollen pig-skins,
+which were really goat-skins, looking far from tempting. We had bread
+and meat, and a supply of presents to soften the hearts and weaken the
+religious scruples of the sheikhs at Wadi Bou. 'We thravel _en prince_,'
+said the Doctor. When all was ready we got under way solemnly, our
+camels rising and sniffing the breeze with a superior air, as who should
+say, 'I happen to be going where you happen to be going; but don't for a
+moment suppose I do it to please you. It is mere coincidence. You are
+bound for Wadi Bou: I have business of my own which chances to take me
+there.'
+
+[Illustration: RIDING A CAMEL DOES NOT GREATLY DIFFER PROM
+SEA-SICKNESS.]
+
+Over the incidents of the journey I draw a veil. Riding a camel, I find,
+does not greatly differ from sea-sickness. They are the same phenomenon
+under altered circumstances. We had been assured beforehand on
+excellent authority that 'much of the comfort on a desert journey
+depends upon having a good camel.' On this matter, I am no authority. I
+do not set up as a judge of camel-flesh. But I did not notice _any_ of
+the comfort; so I venture to believe my camel must have been an
+exceptionally bad one.
+
+We expected trouble from the fanatical natives; I am bound to admit, we
+had most trouble with Elsie. She was not insubordinate, but she did not
+care for camel-riding. And her beast took advantage of her youth and
+innocence. A well-behaved camel should go almost as fast as a child can
+walk, and should not sit down plump on the burning sand without due
+reason. Elsie's brute crawled, and called halts for prayer at frequent
+intervals; it tried to kneel like a good Mussulman many times a day; and
+it showed an intolerant disposition to crush the infidel by rolling over
+on top of Elsie. Dr. Macloghlen admonished it with Irish eloquence, not
+always in language intended for publication; but it only turned up its
+supercilious lip and inquired in its own unspoken tongue what _he_ knew
+about the desert.
+
+'I feel like a wurrum before the baste,' the Doctor said, nonplussed.
+
+If the Nile was monotonous, the road to Wadi Bou was nothing short of
+dreary. We crossed a great ridge of bare, gray rock, and followed a
+rolling valley of sand, scored by dry ravines, and baking in the sun. It
+was ghastly to look upon. All day long, save at the midday rest by some
+brackish wells, we rode on and on, the brutes stepping forward with
+slow, outstretched legs; though sometimes we walked by the camels' sides
+to vary the monotony; but ever through that dreary upland plain, sand in
+the centre, rocky mountain at the edge, and not a thing to look at. We
+were relieved towards evening to stumble against stunted tamarisks,
+half buried in sand, and to feel we were approaching the edge of the
+oasis.
+
+When at last our arrogant beasts condescended to stop, in their
+patronising way, we saw by the dim light of the moon a sort of uneven
+basin or hollow, studded with date-palms, and in the midst of the
+depression a crumbling walled town, with a whitewashed mosque, two
+minarets by its side, and a crowd of mud-houses. It was strangely
+familiar. We had come all this way just to see Aboo-Teeg or Koos-kam
+over again!
+
+We camped outside the fortified town that night. Next morning we essayed
+to make our entry.
+
+At first, the servants of the Prophet on watch at the gate raised
+serious objections. No infidel might enter. But we had a pass from
+Cairo, exhorting the faithful in the name of the Khedive to give us food
+and shelter; and after much examination and many loud discussions, the
+gatemen passed us. We entered the town, and stood alone, three Christian
+Europeans, in the midst of three thousand fanatical Mohammedans.
+
+I confess it was weird. Elsie shrank by my side. 'Suppose they were to
+attack us, Brownie?'
+
+'Thin the sheikh here would never get paid,' Dr. Macloghlen put in with
+true Irish recklessness. 'Faix, he'll whistle for his money on the
+whistle I gave him.' That touch of humour saved us. We laughed; and the
+people about saw we could laugh. They left off scowling, and pressed
+around trying to sell us pottery and native brooches. In the intervals
+of fanaticism, the Arab has an eye to business.
+
+We passed up the chief street of the bazaar. The inhabitants told us in
+pantomime the chief of the town was away at Asioot, whither he had gone
+two days ago on business. If he were here, our interpreter gave us to
+understand, things might have been different; for the chief had
+determined that, whatever came, no infidel dog should settle in _his_
+oasis.
+
+[Illustration: HER AGITATION WAS EVIDENT.]
+
+The women with their veiled faces attracted us strangely. They were
+wilder than on the river. They ran when one looked at them. Suddenly,
+as we passed one, we saw her give a little start. She was veiled like
+the rest, but her agitation was evident even through her thick covering.
+
+'She is afraid of Christians,' Elsie cried, nestling towards me.
+
+The woman passed close to us. She never looked in our direction, but in
+a very low voice she murmured, as she passed, 'Then you are English!'
+
+I had presence of mind enough to conceal my surprise at this unexpected
+utterance. 'Don't seem to notice her, Elsie,' I said, looking away.
+'Yes, we are English.'
+
+She stopped and pretended to examine some jewellery on a stall. 'So am
+I,' she went on, in the same suppressed low voice. 'For Heaven's sake,
+help me!'
+
+'What are you doing here?'
+
+'I live here--married. I was with Gordon's force at Khartoum. They
+carried me off. A mere girl then. Now I am thirty.'
+
+'And you have been here ever since?'
+
+She turned away and walked off, but kept whispering behind her veil. We
+followed, unobtrusively. 'Yes; I was sold to a man at Dongola. He passed
+me on again to the chief of this oasis. I don't know where it is; but I
+have been here ever since. I hate this life. Is there any chance of a
+rescue?'
+
+'Anny chance of a rescue, is it?' the Doctor broke in, a trifle too
+ostensibly. 'If it costs us a whole British Army, me dear lady, we'll
+fetch you away and save you.'
+
+'But now--to-day? You won't go away and leave me? You are the first
+Europeans I have seen since Khartoum fell. They may sell me again. You
+will not desert me?'
+
+'No,' I said. 'We will not.' Then I reflected a moment.
+
+What on earth could we do? This was a painful dilemma. If we once lost
+sight of her, we might not see her again. Yet if we walked with her
+openly, and talked like friends, we would betray ourselves, and her, to
+those fanatical Senoosis.
+
+I made my mind up promptly. I may not have much of a mind; but, such as
+it is, I flatter myself I can make it up at a moment's notice.
+
+'Can you come to us outside the gate at sunset?' I asked, as if speaking
+to Elsie.
+
+The woman hesitated. 'I think so.'
+
+'Then keep us in sight all day, and when evening comes, stroll out
+behind us.'
+
+She turned over some embroidered slippers on a booth, and seemed to be
+inspecting them. 'But my children?' she murmured anxiously.
+
+The Doctor interposed. 'Is it childern she has?' he asked. 'Thin they'll
+be the Mohammedan gintleman's. We mustn't interfere wid _them_. We can
+take away the lady--she's English, and detained against her will: but we
+can't deprive anny man of his own childern'.
+
+I was firm, and categorical. 'Yes, we can,' I said, stoutly; 'if he has
+forced a woman to bear them to him whether she would or not. That's
+common justice. I have no respect for the Mohammedan gentleman's rights.
+Let her bring them with her. How many are there?'
+
+'Two--a boy and girl; not very old; the eldest is seven.' She spoke
+wistfully. A mother is a mother.
+
+'Then say no more now, but keep us always in sight, and we will keep
+_you_. Come to us at the gate about sundown. We will carry you off with
+us.'
+
+She clasped her hands and moved off with the peculiar gliding air of the
+veiled Mohammedan woman. Our eyes followed her. We walked on through
+the bazaar, thinking of nothing else now. It was strange how this
+episode made us forget our selfish fears for our own safety. Even dear
+timid Elsie remembered only that an Englishwoman's life and liberty were
+at stake. We kept her more or less in view all day. She glided in and
+out among the people in the alleys. When we went back to the camels at
+lunch-time, she followed us unobtrusively through the open gate, and sat
+watching us from a little way off, among a crowd of gazers; for all Wadi
+Bou was of course agog at this unwonted invasion.
+
+We discussed the circumstance loudly, so that she might hear our plans.
+Dr. Macloghlen advised that we should tell our sheikh we meant to return
+part of the way to Geergeh that evening by moonlight. I quite agreed
+with him. It was the only way out. Besides, I didn't like the looks of
+the people. They eyed us askance. This was getting exciting now. I felt
+a professional journalistic interest. Whether we escaped or got killed,
+what splendid business for the _Daily Telephone_!
+
+The sheikh, of course, declared it was impossible to start that evening.
+The men wouldn't move--the camels needed rest. But Dr. Macloghlen was
+inexorable. 'Very well, thin, Mr. Sheikh,' he answered, philosophically.
+'Ye'll plaze yerself about whether ye come on wid us or whether ye
+shtop. That's yer own business. But _we_ set out at sundown; and whin ye
+return by yerself on foot to Geergeh, ye can ask for yer camels at the
+British Consulate.'
+
+All through that anxious afternoon we sat in our tents, under the shade
+of the mud-wall, wondering whether we could carry out our plan or not.
+About an hour before sunset the veiled woman strolled out of the gate
+with her two children. She joined the crowd of sight-seers once more,
+for never through the day were we left alone for a second. The
+excitement grew intense. Elsie and I moved up carelessly towards the
+group, talking as if to one another. I looked hard at Elsie: then I
+said, as though I were speaking about one of the children, 'Go straight
+along the road to Geergeh till you are past the big clump of palms at
+the edge of the oasis. Just beyond it comes a sharp ridge of rock. Wait
+behind the ridge where no one can see you. When we get there,' I patted
+the little girl's head, 'don't say a word, but jump on my camel. My two
+friends will each take one of the children. If you understand and
+consent, stroke your boy's curls. We will accept that for a signal.'
+
+She stroked the child's head at once without the least hesitation. Even
+through her veil and behind her dress, I could somehow feel and see her
+trembling nerves, her beating heart. But she gave no overt token. She
+merely turned and muttered something carelessly in Arabic to a woman
+beside her.
+
+We waited once more, in long-drawn suspense. Would she manage to escape
+them? Would they suspect her motives?
+
+After ten minutes, when we had returned to our crouching-place under the
+shadow of the wall, the woman detached herself slowly from the group,
+and began strolling with almost overdone nonchalance along the road to
+Geergeh. We could see the little girl was frightened and seemed to
+expostulate with her mother: fortunately, the Arabs about were too much
+occupied in watching the suspicious strangers to notice this episode of
+their own people. Presently, our new friend disappeared; and, with
+beating hearts, we awaited the sunset.
+
+[Illustration: CROUCHING BY THE ROCKS SAT OUR MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.]
+
+Then came the usual scene of hubbub with the sheikh, the camels, the
+porters, and the drivers. It was eagerness against apathy. With
+difficulty we made them understand we meant to get under way at all
+hazards. I stormed in bad Arabic. The Doctor inveighed in very choice
+Irish. At last they yielded, and set out. One by one the camels rose,
+bent their slow knees, and began to stalk in their lordly way with
+outstretched necks along the road to the river. We moved through the
+palm groves, a crowd of boys following us and shouting for backsheesh.
+We began to be afraid they would accompany us too far and discover our
+fugitive; but fortunately they all turned back with one accord at a
+little whitewashed shrine near the edge of the oasis. We reached the
+clump of palms; we turned the corner of the ridge. Had we missed one
+another? No! There, crouching by the rocks, with her children by her
+side, sat our mysterious stranger.
+
+The Doctor was equal to the emergency. 'Make those bastes kneel!' he
+cried authoritatively to the sheikh.
+
+The sheikh was taken aback. This was a new exploit burst upon him. He
+flung his arms up, gesticulating wildly. The Doctor, unmoved, made the
+drivers understand by some strange pantomime what he wanted. They
+nodded, half terrified. In a second, the stranger was by my side, Elsie
+had taken the girl, the Doctor the boy, and the camels were passively
+beginning to rise again. That is the best of your camel. Once set him on
+his road, and he goes mechanically.
+
+The sheikh broke out with several loud remarks in Arabic, which we did
+not understand, but whose hostile character could not easily escape us.
+He was beside himself with anger. Then I was suddenly aware of the
+splendid advantage of having an Irishman on our side. Dr. Macloghlen
+drew his revolver, like one well used to such episodes, and pointed it
+full at the angry Arab. 'Look here, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, calmly, yet
+with a fine touch of bravado; 'do ye see this revolver? Well, unless ye
+make yer camels thravel sthraight to Geergeh widout wan other wurrud,
+'tis yer own brains will be spattered, sor, on the sand of this desert!
+And if ye touch wan hair of our heads, ye'll answer for it wid yer life
+to the British Government.'
+
+I do not feel sure that the sheikh comprehended the exact nature of each
+word in this comprehensive threat, but I am certain he took in its
+general meaning, punctuated as it was with some flourishes of the
+revolver. He turned to the drivers and made a gesture of despair. It
+meant, apparently, that this infidel was too much for him. Then he
+called out a few sharp directions in Arabic. Next minute, our camels'
+legs were stepping out briskly along the road to Geergeh with a
+promptitude which I'm sure must have astonished their owners. We rode on
+and on through the gloom in a fever of suspense. Had any of the Senoosis
+noticed our presence? Would they miss the chief's wife before long, and
+follow us under arms? Would our own sheikh betray us? I am no coward, as
+women go, but I confess, if it had not been for our fiery Irishman, I
+should have felt my heart sink. We were grateful to him for the reckless
+and good-humoured courage of the untamed Celt. It kept us from giving
+way. 'Ye'll take notice, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, as we threaded our way
+among the moon-lit rocks, 'that I have twinty-wan cartridges in me case
+for me revolver; and that if there's throuble to-night, 'tis twinty of
+them there'll be for your frinds the Senoosis, and wan for yerself; but
+for fear of disappointing a gintleman, 'tis yer own special bullet I'll
+disthribute first, if it comes to fighting.'
+
+The sheikh's English was a vanishing quantity, but to judge by the way
+he nodded and salaamed at this playful remark, I am convinced he
+understood the Doctor's Irish quite as well as I did.
+
+We spoke little by the way; we were all far too frightened, except the
+Doctor, who kept our hearts up by a running fire of wild Celtic humour.
+But I found time meanwhile to learn by a few questions from our veiled
+friend something of her captivity. She had seen her father massacred
+before her eyes at Khartoum, and had then been sold away to a merchant,
+who conveyed her by degrees and by various exchanges across the desert
+through lonely spots to the Senoosi oasis. There she had lived all those
+years with the chief to whom her last purchaser had trafficked her. She
+did not even know that her husband's village was an integral part of the
+Khedive's territory; far less that the English were now in practical
+occupation of Egypt. She had heard nothing and learnt nothing since that
+fateful day; she had waited in vain for the off-chance of a deliverer.
+
+'But did you never try to run away to the Nile?' I cried, astonished.
+
+'Run away? How could I? I did not even know which way the river lay; and
+was it possible for me to cross the desert on foot, or find the chance
+of a camel? The Senoosis would have killed me. Even with you to help me,
+see what dangers surround me; alone, I should have perished, like Hagar
+in the wilderness, with no angel to save me.'
+
+'An' ye've got the angel now,' Dr. Macloghlen exclaimed, glancing at me.
+'Steady, there, Mr. Sheikh. What's this that's coming?'
+
+It was another caravan, going the opposite way, on its road to the
+oasis! A voice halloaed from it.
+
+Our new friend clung tight to me. 'My husband!' she whispered, gasping.
+
+They were still far off on the desert, and the moon shone bright. A few
+hurried words to the Doctor, and with a wild resolve we faced the
+emergency. He made the camels halt, and all of us, springing off,
+crouched down behind their shadows in such a way that the coming caravan
+must pass on the far side of us. At the same moment the Doctor turned
+resolutely to the sheikh. 'Look here, Mr. Arab,' he said in a quiet
+voice, with one more appeal to the simple Volapuk of the pointed
+revolver; 'I cover ye wid this. Let these frinds of yours go by. If
+there's anny unnecessary talking betwixt ye, or anny throuble of anny
+kind, remimber, the first bullet goes sthraight as an arrow t'rough that
+haythen head of yours!'
+
+The sheikh salaamed more submissively than ever.
+
+The caravan drew abreast of us. We could hear them cry aloud on either
+side the customary salutes: 'In Allah's name, peace!' answered by 'Allah
+is great; there is no god but Allah.'
+
+Would anything more happen? Would our sheikh play us false? It was a
+moment of breathlessness. We crouched and cowered in the shade, holding
+our hearts with fear, while the Arab drivers pretended to be unsaddling
+the camels. A minute or two of anxious suspense; then, peering over our
+beasts' backs, we saw their long line filing off towards the oasis. We
+watched their turbaned heads, silhouetted against the sky, disappear
+slowly. One by one they faded away. The danger was past. With beating
+hearts we rose up again.
+
+The Doctor sprang into his place and seated himself on his camel. 'Now
+ride on, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, 'wid all yer men, as if grim death was
+afther ye. Camels or no camels, ye've got to march all night, for ye'll
+never draw rein till we're safe back at Geergeh!'
+
+And sure enough we never halted, under the persuasive influence of that
+loaded revolver, till we dismounted once more in the early dawn upon the
+Nile bank, under British protection.
+
+Then Elsie and I and our rescued country-woman broke down together in an
+orgy of relief. We hugged one another and cried like so many children.
+
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN
+
+
+Away to India! A life on the ocean wave once more; and--may it prove
+less wavy!
+
+In plain prose, my arrangement with 'my proprietor,' Mr. Elworthy (thus
+we speak in the newspaper trade), included a trip to Bombay for myself
+and Elsie. So, as soon as we had drained Upper Egypt journalistically
+dry, we returned to Cairo on our road to Suez. I am glad to say, my
+letters to the _Daily Telephone_ gave satisfaction. My employer wrote,
+'You are a born journalist.' I confess this surprised me; for I have
+always considered myself a truthful person. Still, as he evidently meant
+it for praise, I took the doubtful compliment in good part, and offered
+no remonstrance.
+
+I have a mercurial temperament. My spirits rise and fall as if they were
+Consols. Monotonous Egypt depressed me, as it depressed the Israelites;
+but the passage of the Red Sea set me sounding my timbrel. I love fresh
+air; I love the sea, if the sea will but behave itself; and I positively
+revelled in the change from Egypt.
+
+Unfortunately, we had taken our passages by a P. and O. steamer from
+Suez to Bombay many weeks beforehand, so as to secure good berths; and
+still more unfortunately, in a letter to Lady Georgina, I had chanced
+to mention the name of our ship and the date of the voyage. I kept up a
+spasmodic correspondence with Lady Georgina nowadays--tuppence-ha'penny
+a fortnight; the dear, cantankerous, racy old lady had been the
+foundation of my fortunes, and I was genuinely grateful to her; or,
+rather, I ought to say, she had been their second foundress, for I will
+do myself the justice to admit that the first was my own initiative and
+enterprise. I flatter myself I have the knack of taking the tide on the
+turn, and I am justly proud of it. But, being a grateful animal, I wrote
+once a fortnight to report progress to Lady Georgina. Besides--let me
+whisper--strictly between ourselves--'twas an indirect way of hearing
+about Harold.
+
+This time, however, as events turned out, I recognised that I had made a
+grave mistake in confiding my movements to my shrewd old lady. She did
+not betray me on purpose, of course; but I gathered later that casually
+in conversation she must have mentioned the fact and date of my sailing
+before somebody who ought to have had no concern in it; and the
+somebody, I found, had governed himself accordingly. All this, however,
+I only discovered afterwards. So, without anticipating, I will narrate
+the facts exactly as they occurred to me.
+
+[Illustration: AN ODD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN.]
+
+When we mounted the gangway of the _Jumna_ at Suez, and began the
+process of frizzling down the Red Sea, I noted on deck almost at once an
+odd-looking young man of twenty-two or thereabouts, with a curious faint
+pea-green complexion. He was the wishy-washiest young man I ever beheld
+in my life; an achromatic study: in spite of the delicate pea-greeniness
+of his skin, all the colouring matter of the body seemed somehow to have
+faded out of him. Perhaps he had been bleached. As he leant over the
+taffrail, gazing down with open mouth and vacant stare at the water, I
+took a good long look at him. He interested me much--because he was so
+exceptionally uninteresting; a pallid, an�mic, indefinite hobbledehoy,
+with a high, narrow forehead, and sketchy features. He had watery,
+restless eyes of an insipid light blue; thin, yellow hair, almost white
+in its paleness; and twitching hands that played nervously all the time
+with a shadowy moustache. This shadowy moustache seemed to absorb as a
+rule the best part of his attention; it was so sparse and so blanched
+that he felt it continually--to assure himself, no doubt, of the reality
+of its existence. I need hardly add that he wore an eye-glass.
+
+He was an aristocrat, I felt sure; Eton and Christ Church: no ordinary
+person could have been quite so flavourless. Imbecility like his is only
+to be attained as the result of long and judicious selection.
+
+He went on gazing in a vacant way at the water below, an ineffectual
+patrician smile playing feebly round the corners of his mouth meanwhile.
+Then he turned and stared at me as I lay back in my deck-chair. For a
+minute he looked me over as if I were a horse for sale. When he had
+finished inspecting me, he beckoned to somebody at the far end of the
+quarter-deck.
+
+The somebody sidled up with a deferential air which confirmed my belief
+in the pea-green young man's aristocratic origin. It was such deference
+as the British flunkey pays only to blue blood; for he has gradations of
+flunkeydom. He is respectful to wealth; polite to acquired rank; but
+servile only to hereditary nobility. Indeed, you can make a rough guess
+at the social status of the person he addresses by observing which one
+of his twenty-seven nicely graduated manners he adopts in addressing
+him.
+
+The pea-green young man glanced over in my direction, and murmured
+something to the satellite, whose back was turned towards me. I felt
+sure, from his attitude, he was asking whether I was the person he
+suspected me to be. The satellite nodded assent, whereat the pea-green
+young man, screwing up his face to fix his eye-glass, stared harder than
+ever. He must be heir to a peerage, I felt convinced; nobody short of
+that rank would consider himself entitled to stare with such frank
+unconcern at an unknown lady.
+
+Presently it further occurred to me that the satellite's back seemed
+strangely familiar. 'I have seen that man somewhere, Elsie,' I
+whispered, putting aside the wisps of hair that blew about my face.
+
+'So have I, dear,' Elsie answered, with a slight shudder. And I was
+instinctively aware that I too disliked him.
+
+As Elsie spoke, the man turned, and strolled slowly past us, with that
+ineffable insolence which is the other side of the flunkey's
+insufferable self-abasement. He cast a glance at us as he went by, a
+withering glance of brazen effrontery. We knew him now, of course: it
+was that variable star, our old acquaintance, Mr. Higginson the courier.
+
+He was here as himself this time; no longer the count or the mysterious
+faith-healer. The diplomat hid his rays under the garb of the
+man-servant.
+
+'Depend upon it, Elsie,' I cried, clutching her arm with a vague sense
+of fear, 'this man means mischief. There is danger ahead. When a
+creature of Higginson's sort, who has risen to be a count and a
+fashionable physician, descends again to be a courier, you may rest
+assured it is because he has something to gain by it. He has some deep
+scheme afloat. And _we_ are part of it.'
+
+'His master looks weak enough and silly enough for anything,' Elsie
+answered, eyeing the suspected lordling. 'I should think he is just the
+sort of man such a wily rogue would naturally fasten upon.'
+
+'When a wily rogue gets hold of a weak fool, who is also dishonest,' I
+said, 'the two together may make a formidable combination. But never
+mind. We're forewarned. I think I shall be even with him.'
+
+That evening, at dinner in the saloon, the pea-green young man strolled
+in with a jaunty air and took his seat next to us. The Red Sea, by the
+way, was kinder than the Mediterranean: it allowed us to dine from the
+very first evening. Cards had been laid on the plates to mark our
+places. I glanced at my neighbour's. It bore the inscription, 'Viscount
+Southminster.'
+
+That was the name of Lord Kynaston's eldest son--Lady Georgina's nephew;
+Harold Tillington's cousin! So _this_ was the man who might possibly
+inherit Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money! I remembered now how often and
+how fervently Lady Georgina had said, 'Kynaston's sons are all fools.'
+If the rest came up to sample, I was inclined to agree with her.
+
+It also flashed across me that Lord Southminster might have heard
+through Higginson of our meeting with Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst at Florence,
+and of my acquaintance with Harold Tillington at Schlangenbad and
+Lungern. With a woman's instinct, I jumped at the fact that the
+pea-green young man had taken passage by this boat, on purpose to baffle
+both me and Harold.
+
+Thinking it over, it seemed to me, too, that he might have various
+possible points of view on the matter. He might desire, for example,
+that Harold should marry me, under the impression that his marriage with
+a penniless outsider would annoy his uncle; for the pea-green young man
+doubtless thought that I was still to Mr. Ashurst just that dreadful
+adventuress. If so, his obvious cue would be to promote a good
+understanding between Harold and myself, in order to make us marry, so
+that the urbane old gentlemen might then disinherit his favourite
+nephew, and make a new will in Lord Southminster's interest. Or again,
+the pea-green young man might, on the contrary, be aware that Mr.
+Ashurst and I had got on admirably together when we met at Florence; in
+which case his aim would naturally be to find out something that might
+set the rich uncle against me. Yet once more, he might merely have heard
+that I had drawn up Uncle Marmaduke's will at the office, and he might
+desire to worm the contents of it out of me. Whichever was his design, I
+resolved to be upon my guard in every word I said to him, and leave no
+door open to any trickery either way. For of one thing I felt sure, that
+the colourless young man had torn himself away from the mud-honey of
+Piccadilly for this voyage to India only because he had heard there was
+a chance of meeting me.
+
+That was a politic move, whoever planned it--himself or Higginson; for a
+week on board ship with a person or persons is the very best chance of
+getting thrown in with them; whether they like it or lump it, they can't
+easily avoid you.
+
+It was while I was pondering these things in my mind, and resolving with
+myself not to give myself away, that the young man with the pea-green
+face lounged in and dropped into the next seat to me. He was dressed
+(amongst other things) in a dinner jacket and a white tie; for myself, I
+detest such fopperies on board ship; they seem to me out of place; they
+conflict with the infinite possibilities of the situation. One stands
+too near the realities of things. Evening dress and _mal-de-mer_ sort
+ill together.
+
+[Illustration: HE TURNED TO ME WITH AN INANE SMILE.]
+
+As my neighbour sat down, he turned to me with an inane smile which
+occupied all his face. 'Good evening,' he said, in a baronial drawl.
+'Miss Cayley, I gathah? I asked the skippah's leave to set next yah. We
+ought to be friends--rathah. I think yah know my poor deah old aunt,
+Lady Georgina Fawley.'
+
+I bowed a somewhat, freezing bow. 'Lady Georgina is one of my dearest
+friends,' I answered.
+
+'No, really? Poor deah old Georgey! Got somebody to stick up for her at
+last, has she? Now that's what I call chivalrous of yah. Magnanimous,
+isn't it? I like to see people stick up for their friends. And it must
+be a novelty for Georgey. For between you and me, a moah cantankerous
+spiteful acidulated old cough-drop than the poor deah soul it 'ud be
+difficult to hit upon.'
+
+'Lady Georgina has brains,' I answered; 'and they enable her to
+recognise a fool when she sees him. I will admit that she does not
+suffer fools gladly.'
+
+He turned to me with a sudden sharp look in the depths of the
+lack-lustre eyes. Already it began to strike me that, though the
+pea-green young man was inane, he had his due proportion of a certain
+insidious practical cunning. 'That's true,' he answered, measuring me.
+'And according to her, almost everybody's a fool--especially her
+relations. There's a fine knack of sweeping generalisation about deah
+skinny old Georgey. The few people she reahlly likes are all archangels;
+the rest are blithering idiots; there's no middle course with her.'
+
+I held my peace frigidly.
+
+'She thinks me a very special and peculiah fool,' he went on, crumbling
+his bread.
+
+'Lady Georgina,' I answered, 'is a person of exceptional discrimination.
+I would almost always accept her judgment on anyone as practically
+final.'
+
+He laid down his soup-spoon, fondled the imperceptible moustache with
+his tapering fingers, and then broke once more into a cheerful expanse
+of smile which reminded me of nothing so much as of the village idiot.
+It spread over his face as the splash from a stone spreads over a
+mill-pond. 'Now that's a nice cheerful sort of thing to say to a
+fellah,' he ejaculated, fixing his eye-glass in his eye, with a few
+fierce contortions of his facial muscles. 'That's encouraging, don't yah
+know, as the foundation of an acquaintance. Makes a good cornah-stone.
+Calculated to place things at once upon what yah call a friendly basis.
+Georgey said you had a pretty wit; I see now why she admiahed it. Birds
+of a feathah: very wise old proverb.'
+
+I reflected that, after all, this young man had nothing overt against
+him, beyond a fishy blue eye and an inane expression; so, feeling that I
+had perhaps gone a little too far, I continued after a minute, 'And your
+uncle, how is he?'
+
+'Marmy?' he inquired, with another elephantine smile; and then I
+perceived it was a form of humour with him (or rather, a cheap
+substitute) to speak of his elder relations by their abbreviated
+Christian names, without any prefix. 'Marmy's doing very well, thank
+yah; as well as could be expected. In fact, bettah. Habakkuk on the
+brain: it's carrying him off at last. He has Bright's disease very
+bad--drank port, don't yah know--and won't trouble this wicked world
+much longah with his presence. It will be a happy release--especially
+for his nephews.'
+
+I was really grieved, for I had grown to like the urbane old gentleman,
+as I had grown to like the cantankerous old lady. In spite of his
+fussiness and his Stock Exchange views on the interpretation of
+Scripture, his genuine kindliness and his real liking for me had
+softened my heart to him; and my face must have shown my distress, for
+the pea-green young man added quickly with an afterthought: 'But _you_
+needn't be afraid, yah know. It's all right for Harold Tillington. You
+ought to know that as well as anyone--and bettah: for it was you who
+drew up his will for him at Florence.'
+
+I flushed crimson, I believe. Then he knew all about me! 'I was not
+asking on Mr. Tillington's account,' I answered. 'I asked because I have
+a personal feeling of friendship for your uncle, Mr. Ashurst.'
+
+His hand strayed up to the straggling yellow hairs on his upper lip once
+more, and he smiled again, this time with a curious undercurrent of
+foolish craftiness. 'That's a good one,' he answered. 'Georgey told me
+you were original. Marmy's a millionaire, and many people love
+millionaires for their money. But to love Marmy for himself-- I do call
+that originality! Why, weight for age, he's acknowledged to be the most
+portentous old boah in London society!'
+
+'I like Mr. Ashurst because he has a kind heart and some genuine
+instincts,' I answered. 'He has not allowed all human feeling to be
+replaced by a cheap mask of Pall Mall cynicism.'
+
+'Oh, I say; how's that for preaching? Don't you manage to give it hot to
+a fellah, neithah! And at sight, too, without the usual three days of
+grace. Have some of my champagne? I'm a forgiving creachah.'
+
+'No, thank you. I prefer this hock.'
+
+'Your friend, then?' And he motioned the steward to pass the bottle.
+
+To my great disgust, Elsie held out her glass. I was annoyed at that. It
+showed she had missed the drift of our conversation, and was therefore
+lacking in feminine intuition. I should be sorry if I had allowed the
+higher mathematics to kill out in me the most distinctively womanly
+faculty.
+
+From that first day forth, however, in spite of this beginning, Lord
+Southminster almost persecuted me with his persistent attentions. He
+did all a fellah could possibly do to please me. I could not make out
+precisely what he was driving at; but I saw he had some artful game of
+his own to play, and that he was playing it subtly. I also saw that,
+vapid as he was, his vapidity did not prevent him from being worldly
+wise with the wisdom of the self-seeking man of the world, who utterly
+distrusts and disbelieves in all the higher emotions of humanity. He
+harped so often on this string that on our second day out, as we lolled
+on deck in the heat, I had to rebuke him sharply. He had been sneering
+for some hours. 'There are two kinds of silly simplicity, Lord
+Southminster,' I said, at last. 'One kind is the silly simplicity of the
+rustic who trusts everybody; the other kind is the silly simplicity of
+the Pall Mall clubman who trusts nobody. It is just as foolish and just
+as one-sided to overlook the good as to overlook the evil in humanity.
+If you trust everyone, you are likely to be taken in; but if you trust
+no one, you put yourself at a serious practical disadvantage, besides
+losing half the joy of living.'
+
+'Then you think me a fool, like Georgey?' he broke out.
+
+'I should never be rude enough to say so,' I answered, fanning myself.
+
+'Well, you're what I call a first-rate companion for a voyage down the
+Red Sea,' he put in, gazing abstractedly at the awnings. 'Such a lovely
+freezing mixture! A fellah doesn't need ices when _you're_ on tap. I
+recommend you as a refrigeratah.'
+
+'I am glad,' I answered demurely, 'if I have secured your approbation in
+that humble capacity. I'm sure I have tried hard for it.'
+
+[Illustration: NOTHING SEEMED TO PUT THE MAN DOWN.]
+
+Yet nothing that I could say seemed to put the man down. In spite of
+rebuffs, he was assiduous in running down the companion-ladder for my
+parasol or my smelling-bottle; he fetched me chairs; he stayed me with
+cushions; he offered to lend me books; he pestered me to drink his wine;
+and he kept Elsie in champagne, which she annoyed me by accepting. Poor
+dear Elsie clearly failed to understand the creature. 'He's so kind and
+polite, Brownie, isn't he?' she would observe in her simple fashion. 'Do
+you know, I think he's taken quite a fancy to you! And he'll be an earl
+by-and-by. I call it romantic. How lovely it would seem, dear, to see
+you a countess.'
+
+'Elsie,' I said severely, with one hand on her arm, 'you are a dear
+little soul, and I am very fond of you; but if you think I could sell
+myself for a coronet to a pasty-faced young man with a pea-green
+complexion and glassy blue eyes--I can only say, my child, you have
+misread my character. He isn't a man: he's a lump of putty!'
+
+I think Elsie was quite shocked that I should apply these terms to a
+courtesy lord, the eldest son of a peer. Nature had endowed her with the
+profound British belief that peers should be spoken of in choice and
+peculiar language. 'If a peer's a fool,' Lady Georgina said once to me,
+'people think you should say his temperament does not fit him for the
+conduct of affairs: if he's a rou� or a drunkard, they think you should
+say he has unfortunate weaknesses.'
+
+What most of all convinced me, however, that the wishy-washy young man
+with the pea-green complexion must be playing some stealthy game, was
+the demeanour and mental attitude of Mr. Higginson, his courier. After
+the first day, Higginson appeared to be politeness and deference itself
+to us. He behaved to us both, _almost_ as if we belonged to the titled
+classes. He treated us with the second best of his twenty-seven
+graduated manners. He fetched and carried for us with a courtly grace
+which recalled that distinguished diplomat, the Comte de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret, at the station at Malines with Lady Georgina. It is
+true, at his politest moments, I often caught the undercurrent of a
+wicked twinkle in his eye, and felt sure he was doing it all with some
+profound motive. But his external demeanour was everything that one
+could desire from a well-trained man-servant; I could hardly believe it
+was the same man who had growled to me at Florence, 'I shall be even
+with you yet,' as he left our office.
+
+'Do you know, Brownie,' Elsie mused once, 'I really begin to think we
+must have misjudged Higginson. He's so extremely polite. Perhaps, after
+all, he is really a count, who has been exiled and impoverished for his
+political opinions.'
+
+I smiled and held my tongue. Silence costs nothing. But Mr. Higginson's
+political opinions, I felt sure, were of that simple communistic sort
+which the law in its blunt way calls fraudulent. They consisted in a
+belief that all was his which he could lay his hands on.
+
+'Higginson's a splendid fellah for his place, yah know, Miss Cayley,'
+Lord Southminster said to me one evening as we were approaching Aden.
+'What I like about him is, he's so doosid intelligent.'
+
+'Extremely so,' I answered. Then the devil entered into me again. 'He
+had the doosid intelligence even to take in Lady Georgina.'
+
+'Yaas; that's just it, don't you know. Georgey told me that story.
+Screamingly funny, wasn't it? And I said to myself at once, "Higginson's
+the man for me. I want a courier with jolly lots of brains and no
+blooming scruples. I'll entice this chap away from Marmy." And I did. I
+outbid Marmy. Oh, yaas, he's a first-rate fellah, Higginson. What _I_
+want is a man who will do what he's told, and ask no beastly unpleasant
+questions. Higginson's that man. He's as sharp as a ferret.'
+
+'And as dishonest as they make them.'
+
+He opened his hands with a gesture of unconcern. 'All the bettah for my
+purpose. See how frank I am, Miss Cayley. I tell the truth. The truth is
+very rare. You ought to respect me for it.'
+
+'It depends somewhat upon the _kind_ of truth,' I answered, with a
+random shot. 'I don't respect a man, for instance, for confessing to a
+forgery.'
+
+He winced. Not for months after did I know how a stone thrown at a
+venture had chanced to hit the spot, and had vastly enhanced his opinion
+of my cleverness.
+
+'You have heard about Dr. Fortescue-Langley too, I suppose?' I went on.
+
+'Oh, yaas. Wasn't it real jam? He did the doctor-trick on a lady in
+Switzerland. And the way he has come it ovah deah simple old Marmy! He
+played Marmy with Ezekiel! Not so dusty, was it? He's too lovely for
+anything!'
+
+'He's an edged tool,' I said.
+
+'Yaas; that's why I use him.'
+
+'And edged tools may cut the user's fingers.'
+
+[Illustration: YAH DON'T CATCH ME GOING SO FAH FROM NEWMARKET.]
+
+'Not mine,' he answered, taking out a cigarette. 'Oh deah no. He can't
+turn against _me_. He wouldn't dare to. Yah see, I have the fellah
+entirely in my powah. I know all his little games, and I can expose him
+any day. But it suits me to keep him. I don't mind telling yah, since I
+respect your intellect, that he and I are engaged in pulling off a big
+_coup_ togethah. If it were not for that, I wouldn't be heah. Yah don't
+catch me going away so fah from Newmarket and the Empire for nothing.'
+
+'I judged as much,' I answered. And then I was silent.
+
+But I wondered to myself why the neutral-tinted young man should be so
+communicative to an obviously hostile stranger.
+
+For the next few days it amused me to see how hard our lordling tried to
+suit his conversation to myself and Elsie. He was absurdly anxious to
+humour us. Just at first, it is true, he had discussed the subjects that
+lay nearest to his own heart. He was an ardent votary of the noble
+quadruped; and he loved the turf--whose sward, we judged, he trod mainly
+at Tattersall's. He spoke to us with erudition on 'two-year-old form,'
+and gave us several 'safe things' for the spring handicaps. The Oaks he
+considered 'a moral' for Clorinda. He also retailed certain choice
+anecdotes about ladies whose Christian names were chiefly Tottie and
+Flo, and whose honoured surnames have escaped my memory. Most of them
+flourished, I recollect, at the Frivolity Music Hall. But when he
+learned that our interest in the noble quadruped was scarcely more than
+tepid, and that we had never even visited 'the Friv.,' as he
+affectionately called it, he did his best in turn to acquire our
+subjects. He had heard us talk about Florence, for example, and he
+gathered from our talk that we loved its art treasures. So he set
+himself to work to be studiously artistic. It was a beautiful study in
+human ineptitude. 'Ah, yaas,' he, murmured, turning up the pale blue
+eyes ecstatically towards the mast-head. 'Chawming place, Florence! I
+dote on the pickchahs. I know them all by heart. I assuah yah, I've
+spent houahs and houahs feeding my soul in the galleries.'
+
+'And what particular painter does your soul most feed upon?' I asked
+bluntly, with a smile.
+
+The question staggered him. I could see him hunting through the vacant
+chambers of his brain for a Florentine painter. Then a faint light
+gleamed in the leaden eyes, and he fingered the straw-coloured moustache
+with that nervous hand till he almost put a visible point upon it. 'Ah,
+Raphael?' he said, tentatively, with an inquiring air, yet beaming at
+his success. 'Don't you think so? Splendid artist, Raphael!'
+
+'And a very safe guess,' I answered, leading him on. 'You can't go far
+wrong in mentioning Raphael, can you? But after him?'
+
+He dived into the recesses of his memory again, peered about him for a
+minute or two, and brought back nothing. 'I can't remembah the othah
+fellahs' names,' he went on; 'they're all so much alike: all in _elli_,
+don't yah know; but I recollect at the time they impressed me awfully.'
+
+'No doubt,' I answered.
+
+He tried to look through me, and failed. Then he plunged, like a noble
+sportsman that he was, on a second fetch of memory. 'Ah--and Michael
+Angelo,' he went on, quite proud of his treasure-trove. 'Sweet things,
+Michael Angelo's!'
+
+'Very sweet,' I admitted. 'So simple; so touching; so tender; so
+domestic!'
+
+I thought Elsie would explode; but she kept her countenance. The
+pea-green young man gazed at me uneasily. He had half an idea by this
+time that I was making game of him.
+
+However, he fished up a name once more, and clutched at it. 'Savonarola,
+too,' he adventured. 'I adore Savonarola. His pickchahs are beautiful.'
+
+'And so rare!' Elsie murmured.
+
+'Then there is Fra Diavolo?' I suggested, going one better. 'How do you
+like Fra Diavolo?'
+
+He seemed to have heard the name before, but still he hesitated.
+'Ah--what did he paint?' he asked, with growing caution.
+
+I stuffed him valiantly. 'Those charming angels, you know,' I answered.
+'With the roses and the glories!'
+
+'Oh, yaas; I recollect. All askew, aren't they; like this! I remembah
+them very well. But----' a doubt flitted across his brain, 'wasn't his
+name Fra Angelico?'
+
+'His brother,' I replied, casting truth to the winds. 'They worked
+together, you must have heard. One did the saints; the other did the
+opposite. Division of labour, don't you see; Fra Angelico, Fra Diavolo.'
+
+[Illustration: WASN'T FRA DIAVOLO ALSO A COMPOSAH?]
+
+He fingered his cigarette with a dubious hand, and wriggled his
+eye-glass tighter. 'Yaas, beautiful; beautiful! But----' growing
+suspicious apace, 'wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?'
+
+'Of course,' I assented. 'In his off time, he composed. Those early
+Italians--so versatile, you see; so versatile!'
+
+He had his doubts, but he suppressed them.
+
+'And Torricelli,' I went on, with a side glance at Elsie, who was
+choking by this time. 'And Chianti, and Frittura, and Cinquevalli, and
+Giulio Romano.'
+
+His distrust increased. 'Now you're trying to make me commit myself,' he
+drawled out. 'I remembah Torricelli--he's the fellah who used to paint
+all his women crooked. But Chianti's a wine; I've often drunk it; and
+Romano's--well, every fellah knows Romano's is a restaurant near the
+Gaiety Theatre.'
+
+'Besides,' I continued, in a drawl like his own, 'there are Risotto, and
+Gnocchi, and Vermicelli, and Anchovy--all famous paintahs, and all of
+whom I don't doubt you admiah.'
+
+Elsie exploded at last. But he took no offence. He smiled inanely, as if
+he rather enjoyed it. 'Look heah, you know,' he said, with his crafty
+smile; 'that's one too much. I'm not taking any. You think yourselves
+very clevah for kidding me with paintahs who are really macaroni and
+cheese and claret; yet if I were to tell you the Lejah was run at Ascot,
+or the Cesarewitch at Doncastah, why, you'd be no wisah. When it comes
+to art, I don't have a look in; but I could tell you a thing or two
+about starting prices.'
+
+And I was forced to admit that there he had reason.
+
+Still, I think he realised that he had better avoid the subject of art
+in future, as we avoided the noble quadruped. He saw his limitations.
+
+Not till the last evening before we reached Bombay did I really
+understand the nature of my neighbour's project. That evening, as it
+chanced, Elsie had a headache and went below early. I stopped with her
+till she dozed off; then I slipped up on deck once more for a breath of
+fresh air, before retiring for the night to the hot and stuffy cabin. It
+was an exquisite evening. The moon rode in the pale green sky of the
+tropics. A strange light still lingered on the western horizon. The
+stifling heat of the Red Sea had given way long since to the refreshing
+coolness of the Indian Ocean. I strolled a while on the quarter-deck,
+and sat down at last near the stern. Next moment, I was aware of
+somebody creeping up to me.
+
+'Look heah, Miss Cayley,' a voice broke in; 'I'm in luck at last! I've
+been waiting, oh, evah so long, for this opportunity.'
+
+I turned and faced him. 'Have you, indeed?' I answered. 'Well, I have
+_not_, Lord Southminster.'
+
+I tried to rise, but he motioned me back to my chair. There were ladies
+on deck, and to avoid being noticed I sank into my seat again.
+
+'I want to speak to you,' he went on, in a voice that (for him) was
+almost impressive. 'Half a mo, Miss Cayley. I want to say--this last
+night--you misunderstand me.'
+
+'On the contrary,' I answered, 'the trouble is--that I understand you
+perfectly.'
+
+'No, yah don't. Look heah.' He bent forward quite romantically. 'I'm
+going to be perfectly frank. Of course yah know that when I came on
+board this ship I came--to checkmate yah.'
+
+'Of course,' I replied. 'Why else should you and Higginson have bothered
+to come here?'
+
+He rubbed his hands together. 'That's just it. You're always clevah. You
+hit it first shot. But there's wheah the point comes in. At first, I
+only thought of how we could circumvent yah. I treated yah as the enemy.
+Now, it's all the othah way. Miss Cayley, you're the cleverest woman I
+evah met in this world; you extort my admiration.'
+
+I could not repress a smile. I didn't know how it was, but I could see I
+possessed some mysterious attraction for the Ashurst family. I was fatal
+to Ashursts. Lady Georgina, Harold Tillington, the Honourable Marmaduke,
+Lord Southminster--different types as they were, all succumbed without
+one blow to me.
+
+'You flatter me,' I answered, coldly.
+
+'No, I don't,' he cried, flashing his cuffs and gazing affectionately at
+his sleeve-links. ''Pon my soul, I assuah yah, I mean it. I can't tell
+you how much I admiah yah. I admiah your intellect. Every day I have
+seen yah, I feel it moah and moah. Why, you're the only person who has
+evah out-flanked my fellah, Higginson. As a rule I don't think much of
+women. I've been through several London seasons, and lots of 'em have
+tried their level best to catch me; the cleverest mammas have been aftah
+me for their Ethels. But I wasn't so easily caught: I dodged the Ethels.
+With you, it's different. I feel'--he paused--'you're a woman a fellah
+might be really proud of.'
+
+'You are too kind,' I answered, in my refrigerator voice.
+
+'Well, will you take me?' he asked, trying to seize my hand. 'Miss
+Cayley, if you will, you will make me unspeakably happy.'
+
+It was a great effort--for him--and I was sorry to crush it. 'I regret,'
+I said, 'that I am compelled to deny you unspeakable happiness.'
+
+[Illustration: TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, YOU'RE STAKING YOUR MONEY ON THE
+WRONG FELLAH.]
+
+'Oh, but you don't catch on. You mistake. Let me explain. You're backing
+the othah man. Now, I happen to know about that: and I assuah you, it's
+an error. Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong
+fellah.'
+
+'I do not understand you,' I replied, drawing away from his approach.
+'And what is more, I may add, you could never understand me.'
+
+'Yaas, but I do. I understand perfectly. I can see where you go wrong.
+You drew up Marmy's will; and you think Marmy has left all he's worth to
+Harold Tillington; so you're putting every penny you've got on Harold.
+Well, that's mere moonshine. Harold may think it's all right; but it's
+not all right. There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the Probate Court.
+Listen heah, Miss Cayley: Higginson and I are a jolly sight sharpah than
+your friend Harold. Harold's what they call a clevah fellah in society,
+and I'm what they call a fool; but I know bettah than Harold which side
+of my bread's buttahed.'
+
+'I don't doubt it,' I answered.
+
+'Well, I have managed this business. I don't mind telling you now, I had
+a telegram from Marmy's valet when we touched at Aden; and poor old
+Marmy's sinking. Habakkuk's been too much for him. Sixteen stone going
+under. Why am I not with him? yah may ask. Because, when a man of
+Marmy's temperament is dying, it's safah to be away from him. There's
+plenty of time for Marmy to altah his will yet--and there are othah
+contingencies. Still, Harold's quite out of it. You take my word for it;
+if you back Harold, you back a man who's not going to get anything;
+while if you back me, you back the winnah, with a coronet into the
+bargain.' And he smiled fatuously.
+
+I looked at him with a look that would have made a wiser man wince. But
+it fell flat on Lord Southminster. 'Do you know why I do not rise and go
+down to my cabin at once?' I said, slowly. 'Because, if I did, somebody
+as I passed might see my burning cheeks--cheeks flushed with shame at
+your insulting proposal--and might guess that you had asked me, and that
+I had refused you. And I should shrink from the disgrace of anyone's
+knowing that you had put such a humiliation upon me. You have been frank
+with me--after your kind, Lord Southminster; frank with the frankness of
+a low and purely commercial nature. I will be frank with you in turn.
+You are right in supposing that I love Harold Tillington--a man whose
+name I hate to mention in your presence. But you are wrong in supposing
+that the disposition of Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money has or can have
+anything to do with the feelings I entertain towards him. I would marry
+him all the sooner if he were poor and penniless. You cannot
+_understand_ that state of mind, of course: but you must be content to
+_accept_ it. And I would not marry _you_ if there were no other man left
+in the world to marry. I should as soon think of marrying a lump of
+dough.' I faced him all crimson. 'Is _that_ plain enough? Do you see now
+that I really mean it?'
+
+He gazed at me with a curious look, and twirled what he considered his
+moustache once more, quite airily. The man was imperturbable--a
+pachydermatous imbecile. 'You're all wrong, yah know,' he said, after a
+long pause, during which he had regarded me through his eye-glass as if
+I were a specimen of some rare new species. 'You're all wrong, and yah
+won't believe me. But I tell yah, I know what I'm talking about. You
+think it's quite safe about Marmy's money--that he's left it to Harold,
+because you drew the will up. I assuah you that will's not worth the
+paper it's written on. You fancy Harold's a hot favourite: he's a rank
+outsidah. I give you a chance, and you won't take it. I want yah
+because you're a remarkable woman. Most of the Ethels cry when they're
+trying to make a fellah propose to 'em; and I don't like 'em damp: but
+_you_ have some go about yah. You insist upon backing the wrong man. But
+you'll find your mistake out yet.' A bright idea struck him. 'I say--why
+don't you hedge? Leave it open till Marmy's gone, and then marry the
+winnah?'
+
+It was hopeless trying to make this clod understand. His brain was not
+built with the right cells for understanding me. 'Lord Southminster,' I
+said, turning upon him and clasping my hands, 'I will not go away while
+you stop here. But you have some spark enough of a gentleman in your
+composition, I hope, not to inflict your company any longer upon a woman
+who does not desire it. I ask you to leave me here alone. When you have
+gone, and I have had time to recover from your degrading offer, I may
+perhaps feel able to go down to my cabin.'
+
+He stared at me with open blue eyes--those watery blue eyes. 'Oh, just
+as you like,' he answered. 'I wanted to do you a good turn, because
+you're the only woman I evah really admiahed--to say admiah, don't you
+know; not trotted round like the Ethels: but you won't allow me. I'll go
+if you wish it; though I tell you again, you're backing the wrong man,
+and soonah or latah you'll discover it. I don't mind laying you six to
+four against him. Howevah, I'll do one thing for yah: I'll leave this
+offah always open. I'm not likely to marry any othah woman--not good
+enough, is it?--and if evah you find out you're mistaken about Harold
+Tillington, remembah, honour bright, I shall be ready at any time to
+renew my offah.'
+
+By this time I was at boiling-point. I could not find words to answer
+him. I waved him away angrily with one hand. He raised his hat with
+quite a jaunty air and strolled off forward, puffing his cigarette. I
+don't think he even knew the disgust with which he inspired me.
+
+I sat some hours with the cool air playing about my burning cheeks
+before I mustered up courage to rise and go down below again.
+
+
+
+
+IX
+
+THE ADVENTURES OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH
+
+
+Our arrival at Bombay was a triumphal entry. We were received like
+royalty. Indeed, to tell you the truth, Elsie and I were beginning to
+get just a leetle bit spoiled. It struck us now that our casual
+connection with the Ashurst family in its various branches had succeeded
+in saddling us, like the Lady of Burleigh, 'with the burden of an honour
+unto which we were not born.' We were everywhere treated as persons of
+importance; and, oh dear, by dint of such treatment we began to feel at
+last almost as if we had been raised in the purple. I felt that when we
+got back to England we should turn up our noses at plain bread and
+butter.
+
+Yes, life has been kind to me. Have your researches into English
+literature ever chanced to lead you into reading Horace Walpole, I
+wonder? That polite trifler is fond of a word which he coined
+himself--'Serendipity.' It derives from the name of a certain happy
+Indian Prince Serendip, whom he unearthed (or invented) in some obscure
+Oriental story; a prince for whom the fairies or the genii always
+managed to make everything pleasant. It implies the faculty, which a few
+of us possess, of finding whatever we want turn up accidentally at the
+exact right moment. Well, I believe I must have been born with
+serendipity in my mouth, in place of the proverbial silver spoon, for
+wherever I go, all things seem to come out exactly right for me.
+
+The _Jumna_, for example, had hardly heaved to in Bombay Harbour when we
+noticed on the quay a very distinguished-looking Oriental potentate, in
+a large, white turban with a particularly big diamond stuck
+ostentatiously in its front. He stalked on board with a martial air, as
+soon as we stopped, and made inquiries from our captain after someone he
+expected. The captain received him with that odd mixture of respect for
+rank and wealth, combined with true British contempt for the inferior
+black man, which is universal among his class in their dealings with
+native Indian nobility. The Oriental potentate, however, who was
+accompanied by a gorgeous suite like that of the Wise Men in Italian
+pictures, seemed satisfied with his information, and moved over with his
+stately glide in our direction. Elsie and I were standing near the
+gangway among our rugs and bundles, in the hopeless helplessness of
+disembarkation. He approached us respectfully, and, bowing with extended
+hands and a deferential air, asked, in excellent English, 'May I venture
+to inquire which of you two ladies is Miss Lois Cayley?'
+
+'_I_ am,' I replied, my breath taken away by this unexpected greeting.
+'May I venture to inquire in return how you came to know I was arriving
+by this steamer?'
+
+[Illustration: I AM THE MAHARAJAH OF MOOZUFFERNUGGAR.]
+
+He held out his hand, with a courteous inclination. 'I am the Maharajah
+of Moozuffernuggar,' he answered in an impressive tone, as if everybody
+knew of the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar as familiarly as they knew of
+the Duke of Cambridge. 'Moozuffernuggar in Rajputana--_not_ the one in
+the Doab. You must have heard my name from Mr. Harold Tillington.'
+
+I had not; but I dissembled, so as to salve his pride. 'Mr. Tillington's
+friends are _our_ friends,' I answered, sententiously.
+
+'And Mr. Tillington's friends are _my_ friends,' the Maharajah retorted,
+with a low bow to Elsie. 'This is no doubt, Miss Petheridge. I have
+heard of your expected arrival, as you will guess, from Tillington. He
+and I were at Oxford together; I am a Merton man. It was Tillington who
+first taught me all I know of cricket. He took me to stop at his
+father's place in Dumfriesshire. I owe much to his friendship; and when
+he wrote me that friends of his were arriving by the _Jumna_, why, I
+made haste to run down to Bombay to greet them.'
+
+The episode was one of those topsy-turvy mixtures of all places and
+ages which only this jumbled century of ours has witnessed; it impressed
+me deeply. Here was this Indian prince, a feudal Rajput chief, living
+practically among his vassals in the Middle Ages when at home in India;
+yet he said 'I am a Merton man,' as Harold himself might have said it;
+and he talked about cricket as naturally as Lord Southminster talked
+about the noble quadruped. The oddest part of it all was, we alone felt
+the incongruity; to the Maharajah, the change from Moozuffernuggar to
+Oxford and from Oxford back again to Moozuffernuggar seemed perfectly
+natural. They were but two alternative phases in a modern Indian
+gentleman's education and experience.
+
+Still, what were we to do with him? If Harold had presented me with a
+white elephant I could hardly have been more embarrassed than I was at
+the apparition of this urbane and magnificent Hindoo prince. He was
+young; he was handsome; he was slim, for a rajah; he wore European
+costume, save for the huge white turban with its obtrusive diamond; and
+he spoke English much better than a great many Englishmen. Yet what
+place could he fill in my life and Elsie's? For once, I felt almost
+angry with Harold. Why couldn't he have allowed us to go quietly through
+India, two simple unofficial journalistic pilgrims, in our native
+obscurity?
+
+His Highness of Moozuffernuggar, however, had his own views on this
+question. With a courteous wave of one dusky hand, he motioned us
+gracefully into somebody else's deck chairs, and then sat down on
+another beside us, while the gorgeous suite stood by in respectful
+silence--unctuous gentlemen in pink-and-gold brocade--forming a court
+all round us. Elsie and I, unaccustomed to be so observed, grew
+conscious of our hands, our skirts, our postures. But the Maharajah
+posed himself with perfect unconcern, like one well used to the fierce
+light of royalty. 'I have come,' he said, with simple dignity, 'to
+superintend the preparations for your reception.'
+
+'Gracious heavens!' I exclaimed. 'Our reception, Maharajah? I think you
+misunderstand. We are two ordinary English ladies of the proletariat,
+accustomed to the level plain of professional society. We expect no
+reception.'
+
+He bowed again, with stately Eastern deference. 'Friends of
+Tillington's,' he said, shortly, 'are persons of distinction. Besides, I
+have heard of you from Lady Georgina Fawley.'
+
+'Lady Georgina is too good,' I answered, though inwardly I raged against
+her. Why couldn't she leave us alone, to feed in peace on dak-bungalow
+chicken, instead of sending this regal-mannered heathen to bother us?
+
+'So I have come down to Bombay to make sure that you are met in the
+style that befits your importance in society,' he went on, waving his
+suite away with one careless hand, for he saw it fussed us. 'I mentioned
+you to His Honour the Acting-Governor, who had not heard you were
+coming. His Honour's aide-de-camp will follow shortly with an invitation
+to Government House while you remain in Bombay--which will not be many
+days, I don't doubt, for there is nothing in this city of plague to stop
+for. Later on, during your progress up country, I do myself the honour
+to hope that you will stay as my guests for as long as you choose at
+Moozuffernuggar.'
+
+My first impulse was to answer: 'Impossible, Maharajah; we couldn't
+dream of accepting your kind invitation.' But on second thoughts, I
+remembered my duty to my proprietor. Journalism first: inclination
+afterwards! My letter from Egypt on the rescue of the Englishwoman who
+escaped from Khartoum had brought me great _�clat_ as a special
+correspondent, and the _Daily Telephone_ now billed my name in big
+letters on its placards, so Mr. Elworthy wrote me. Here was another
+noble chance; must I not strive to rise to it? Two English ladies at a
+native court in Rajputana! that ought to afford scope for some rattling
+journalism!
+
+'It is extremely kind of you,' I said, hesitating, 'and it would give us
+great pleasure, were it feasible, to accept your friendly offer.
+But--English ideas, you know, prince! Two unprotected women! I hardly
+see how we could come alone to Moozuffernuggar, unchaperoned.'
+
+The Maharajah's face lighted up; he was evidently flattered that we
+should even thus dubiously entertain his proposal. 'Oh, I've thought
+about that, too,' he answered, growing more colloquial in tone. 'I've
+been some days in Bombay, making inquiries and preparations. You see,
+you had not informed the authorities of your intended visit, so that you
+were travelling _incognito_--or should it be _incognita_?--and if
+Tillington hadn't written to let me know your movements, you might have
+arrived at this port without anybody's knowing it, and have been
+compelled to take refuge in an hotel on landing.' He spoke as if we had
+been accustomed all our lives long to be received with red cloth by the
+Mayor and Corporation, and presented with illuminated addresses and the
+freedom of the city in a gold snuff-box. 'But I have seen to all that.
+The Acting-Governor's aide-de-camp will be down before long, and I have
+arranged that if you consent a little later to honour my humble roof in
+Rajputana with your august presence, Major Balmossie and his wife will
+accompany you and chaperon you. I have lived in England: of course I
+understand that two English ladies of your rank and position cannot
+travel alone--as if you were Americans. But Mrs. Balmossie is a nice
+little soul, of unblemished character'--that sweet touch charmed
+me--'received at Government House'--he had learned the respect due to
+Mrs. Grundy--'so that if you will accept my invitation, you may rest
+assured that everything will be done with the utmost regard to the--the
+unaccountable prejudices of Europeans.'
+
+His thoughtfulness took me aback. I thanked him warmly. He unbent at my
+thanks. 'And I am obliged to you in return,' he said. 'It gives me real
+pleasure to be able, through you, to repay Harold Tillington part of the
+debt I owe him. He was so good to me at Oxford. Miss Cayley, you are new
+to India, and therefore--as yet--no doubt unprejudiced. You treat a
+native gentleman, I see, like a human being. I hope you will not stop
+long enough in our country to get over that stage--as happens to most of
+your countrymen and countrywomen. In England, a man like myself is an
+Indian prince; in India, to ninety-nine out of a hundred Europeans, he
+is just "a damned nigger."'
+
+I smiled sympathetically. 'I think,' I said, venturing under these
+circumstances on a harmless little swear-word--of course, in quotation
+marks--'you may trust me never to reach "damn-nigger" point.'
+
+'So I believe,' he answered, 'if you are a friend of Harold
+Tillington's. Ebony or ivory, he never forgot we were two men together.'
+
+[Illustration: WHO'S YOUR BLACK FRIEND?]
+
+Five minutes later, when the Maharajah had gone to inquire about our
+luggage, Lord Southminster strolled up. 'Oh, I say, Miss Cayley,' he
+burst out, 'I'm off now; ta-ta: but remembah, that offah's always open.
+By the way, who's your black friend? I couldn't help laughing at the
+airs the fellah gave himself. To see a niggah sitting theah, with his
+suite all round him, waving his hands and sunning his rings, and
+behaving for all the world as if he were a gentleman; it's reahly too
+ridiculous. Harold Tillington picked up with a fellah like that at
+Oxford--doosid good cricketer too; wondah if this is the same one?'
+
+'Good-bye, Lord Southminster,' I said, quietly, with a stiff little bow.
+'Remember, on your side, that your "offer" was rejected once for all
+last night. Yes, the Indian prince _is_ Harold Tillington's friend, the
+Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar--whose ancestors were princes while ours
+were dressed in woad and oak-leaves. But you were right about one
+thing; _he_ behaves--like a gentleman.'
+
+'Oh, I say,' the pea-green young man ejaculated, drawing back; 'that's
+anothah in the eye for me. You're a good 'un at facers. You gave me one
+for a welcome, and you give me one now for a parting shot. Nevah mind
+though, I can wait; you're backing the wrong fellah--but you're not the
+Ethels, and you're well worth waiting for.' He waved his hand. 'So-long!
+See yah again in London.'
+
+And he retired, with that fatuous smile still absorbing his features.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Our three days in Bombay were uneventful; we merely waited to get rid of
+the roll of the ship, which continued to haunt us for hours after we
+landed--the floor of our bedrooms having acquired an ugly trick of
+rising in long undulations, as if Bombay were suffering from chronic
+earthquake. We made the acquaintance of His Honour the Acting Governor,
+and His Honour's consort. We were also introduced to Mrs. Balmossie, the
+lady who was to chaperon us to Moozuffernuggar. Her husband was a
+soldierly Scotchman from Forfarshire, but she herself was English--a
+flighty little body with a perpetual giggle. She giggled so much over
+the idea of the Maharajah's inviting us to his palace that I wondered
+why on earth she accepted his invitation. At this she seemed surprised.
+'Why, it's one of the jolliest places in Rajputana,' she answered, with
+a bland Simla smile; '_so_ picturesque--he, he, he--and _so_ delightful.
+Simpkin flows like water-- Simpkin's baboo English for champagne, you
+know--he, he, he; and though of course the Maharajah's only a native
+like the rest of them--he, he, he--still, he's been educated at Oxford,
+and has mixed with Europeans, and he knows how to make one--he, he,
+he--well, thoroughly comfortable.'
+
+'But what shall we eat?' I asked. 'Rice, ghee, and chupatties?'
+
+'Oh dear no--he, he, he--Europe food, every bit of it. Foie gras, and
+York ham, and wine _ad lib_. His hospitality's massive. If it weren't
+for that, of course, one wouldn't dream of going there. But Archie hopes
+some day to be made Resident, don't you know; and it will do him no
+harm--he, he, he--with the Foreign Office, to have cultivated friendly
+relations beforehand with His Highness of Moozuffernuggar. These
+natives--he, he, he--so absurdly sensitive!'
+
+For myself, the Maharajah interested me, and I rather liked him.
+Besides, he was Harold's friend, and that was in itself sufficient
+recommendation. So I determined to push straight into the heart of
+native India first, and only afterwards to do the regulation tourist
+round of Agra and Delhi, the Taj and the mosques, Benares and Allahabad,
+leaving the English and Calcutta for the tail-end of my journey. It was
+better journalism; as I thought that thought, I began to fear that Mr.
+Elworthy was right after all, and that I was a born journalist.
+
+On the day fixed for our leaving Bombay, whom should I meet but Lord
+Southminster--with the Maharajah--at the railway station!
+
+He lounged up to me with that eternal smile still vaguely pervading his
+empty features. 'Well, we shall have a jolly party, I gathah,' he said.
+'They tell me this niggah is famous for his tigahs.'
+
+I gazed at him, positively taken aback. 'You don't mean to tell me,' I
+cried, 'you actually propose to accept the Maharajah's hospitality?'
+
+His smile absorbed him. 'Yaas,' he answered twirling his yellow
+moustache, and gazing across at the unconscious prince, who was engaged
+in overlooking the arrangements for our saloon carriage. 'The black
+fellah discovahed I was a cousin of Harold's, so he came to call upon me
+at the club, of which some Johnnies heah made me an honorary membah.
+He's offahed me the run of his place while I'm in Indiah, and, of
+course, I've accepted. Eccentric sort of chap; can't make him out
+myself: says anyone connected with Harold Tillington is always deah to
+him. Rum start, isn't it?'
+
+'He is a mere Oriental,' I answered, 'unused to the ways of civilised
+life. He cherishes the superannuated virtue of gratitude.'
+
+'Yaas; no doubt--so I'm coming along with you.'
+
+I drew back, horrified. 'Now? While I am there? After what I told you
+last week on the steamer?'
+
+'Oh, that's all right. I bear yah no malice. If I want any fun, of
+course I must go while _you're_ at Moozuffernuggar.'
+
+'Why so?'
+
+'Yah see, this black boundah means to get up some big things at his
+place in your honah; and one naturally goes to stop with anyone who has
+big things to offah. Hang it all, what does it mattah who a fellah is if
+he can give yah good shooting? It's shooting, don't yah know, that keeps
+society in England togethah!'
+
+'And therefore you propose to stop in the same house with me!' I
+exclaimed, 'in spite of what I have told you! Well, Lord Southminster, I
+should have thought there were limits which even _your_ taste----'
+
+He cut me short with an inane grin. 'There you make your blooming little
+erraw,' he answered, airily. 'I told yah, I keep my offah still open;
+and, hang it all, I don't mean to lose sight of yah in a hurry. Some
+other fellah might come along and pick you up when I wasn't looking; and
+I don't want to miss yah. In point of fact, I don't mind telling yah, I
+back myself still for a couple of thou' soonah or latah to marry yah.
+It's dogged as does it; faint heart, they say, nevah won fair lady!'
+
+If it had not been that I could not bear to disappoint my Indian prince,
+I think, when I heard this, I should have turned back then and there at
+the station.
+
+The journey up country was uneventful, but dusty. The Mofussil appears
+to consist mainly of dust; indeed, I can now recall nothing of it but
+one pervading white cloud, which has blotted from my memory all its
+other components. The dust clung to my hair after many washings, and was
+never really beaten out of my travelling clothes; I believe part of it
+thus went round the world with me to England. When at last we reached
+Moozuffernuggar, after two days' and a night's hard travelling, we were
+met by a crowd of local grandees, who looked as if they had spent the
+greater part of their lives in brushing back their whiskers, and we
+drove up at once, in European carriages, to the Maharajah's palace. The
+look of it astonished me. It was a strange and rambling old Hindoo
+hill-fort, high perched on a scarped crag, like Edinburgh Castle, and
+accessible only on one side, up a gigantic staircase, guarded on either
+hand by huge sculptured elephants cut in the living sandstone. Below
+clustered the town, an intricate mass of tangled alleys. I had never
+seen anything so picturesque or so dirty in my life; as for Elsie, she
+was divided between admiration for its beauty and terror at the
+big-whiskered and white-turbaned attendants.
+
+'What sort of rooms shall we have?' I whispered to our moral guarantee,
+Mrs. Balmossie.
+
+'Oh, beautiful, dear,' the little lady smirked back. 'Furnished
+throughout--he, he, he--by Liberty. The Maharajah wants to do honour to
+his European guests--he, he, he--he fancies, poor man, he's quite
+European. That's what comes of sending these creatures to Oxford! So
+he's had suites of rooms furnished for any white visitors who may chance
+to come his way. Ridiculous, isn't it? _And_ champagne--oh, gallons of
+it! He's quite proud of his rooms, he, he, he--he's always asking people
+to come and occupy them; he thinks he's done them up in the best style
+of decoration.'
+
+He had reason, for they were as tasteful as they were dainty and
+comfortable. And I could not for the life of me make out why his
+hospitable inclination should be voted 'ridiculous.' But Mrs. Balmossie
+appeared to find all natives alike a huge joke together. She never even
+spoke of them without a condescending smile of distant compassion.
+Indeed, most Anglo-Indians seem first to do their best to Anglicise the
+Hindoo, and then to laugh at him for aping the Englishman.
+
+After we had been three days at the palace and had spent hours in the
+wonderful temples and ruins, the Maharajah announced with considerable
+pride at breakfast one morning that he had got up a tiger-hunt in our
+special honour.
+
+Lord Southminster rubbed his hands.
+
+'Ha, that's right, Maharaj,' he said, briskly. 'I do love big game. To
+tell yah the truth, old man, that's just what I came heah for.'
+
+'You do me too much honour,' the Hindoo answered, with quiet sarcasm.
+'My town and palace may have little to offer that is worth your
+attention; but I am glad that my big game, at least, has been lucky
+enough to attract you.'
+
+The remark was thrown away on the pea-green young man. He had described
+his host to me as 'a black boundah.' Out of his own mouth I condemned
+him--he supplied the very word--he was himself nothing more than a born
+bounder.
+
+[Illustration: A TIGER-HUNT IS NOT A THING TO BE GOT UP LIGHTLY.]
+
+During the next few days, the preparations for the tiger-hunt occupied
+all the Maharajah's energies. 'You know, Miss Cayley,' he said to me, as
+we stood upon the big stairs, looking down on the Hindoo city, 'a
+tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly. Our people themselves
+don't like killing a tiger. They reverence it too much. They're afraid
+its spirit might haunt them afterwards and bring them bad luck. That's
+one of our superstitions.'
+
+'You do not share it yourself, then?' I asked.
+
+He drew himself up and opened his palms, with a twinkling of pendant
+emeralds. 'I am royal,' he answered, with na�ve dignity, 'and the tiger
+is a royal beast. Kings know the ways of kings. If a king kills what is
+kingly, it owes him no grudge for it. But if a common man or a low caste
+man were to kill a tiger--who can say what might happen?'
+
+I saw he was not himself quite free from the superstition.
+
+'Our peasants,' he went on, fixing me with his great black eyes, 'won't
+even mention the tiger by name, for fear of offending him: they believe
+him to be the dwelling-place of a powerful spirit. If they wish to speak
+of him, they say, "the great beast," or "my lord, the striped one." Some
+think the spirit is immortal except at the hands of a king. But they
+have no objection to see him destroyed by others. They will even point
+out his whereabouts, and rejoice over his death; for it relieves the
+village of a serious enemy, and they believe the spirit will only haunt
+the huts of those who actually kill him.'
+
+'Then you know where each tiger lives?' I asked.
+
+'As well as your gamekeepers in England know which covert may be drawn
+for foxes. Yes; 'tis a royal sport, and we keep it for Maharajahs. I
+myself never hunt a tiger till some European visitor of distinction
+comes to Moozuffernuggar, that I may show him good sport. This tiger we
+shall hunt to-morrow, for example, he is a bad old hand. He has carried
+off the buffaloes of my villagers over yonder for years and years, and
+of late he has also become a man-eater. He once ate a whole family at a
+meal--a man, his wife, and his three children. The people at Janwargurh
+have been pestering me for weeks to come and shoot him; and each week he
+has eaten somebody--a child or a woman; the last was yesterday--but I
+waited till you came, because I thought it would be something to show
+you that you would not be likely to see elsewhere.'
+
+'And you let the poor people go on being eaten, that we might enjoy this
+sport!' I cried.
+
+He shrugged his shoulders, and opened his palms. 'They were villagers,
+you know--ryots: mere tillers of the soil--poor naked peasants. I have
+thousands of them to spare. If a tiger eats ten of them, they only say,
+"It was written upon their foreheads." One woman more or less--who would
+notice her at Moozuffernuggar?'
+
+Then I perceived that the Maharajah was a gentleman, but still a
+barbarian.
+
+The eventful morning arrived at last, and we started, all agog, for the
+jungle where the tiger was known to live. Elsie excused herself. She
+remarked to me the night before, as I brushed her back hair for her,
+that she had 'half a mind' not to go. 'My dear,' I answered, giving the
+brush a good dash, 'for a higher mathematician, that phrase lacks
+accuracy. If you were to say "seven-eighths of a mind" it would be
+nearer the mark. In point of fact, if you ask my opinion, your
+inclination to go is a vanishing quantity.'
+
+She admitted the impeachment with an accusing blush. 'You're quite
+right, Brownie; to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of it.'
+
+'So am I, dear; horribly afraid. Between ourselves, I'm in a deadly funk
+of it. But "the brave man is not he that feels no fear"; and I believe
+the same principle applies almost equally to the brave woman. I mean
+"that fear to subdue" as far as I am able. The Maharajah says I shall be
+the first girl who has ever gone tiger-hunting. I'm frightened out of my
+life. I never held a gun in my born days before. But, Elsie, recollect,
+this is _splendid_ journalism! I intend to go through with it.'
+
+'You offer yourself on the altar, Brownie.'
+
+'I do, dear; I propose to die in the cause. I expect my proprietor to
+carve on my tomb, "Sacred to the memory of the martyr of journalism. She
+was killed, in the act of taking shorthand notes, by a Bengal tiger."'
+
+We started at early dawn, a motley mixture. My short bicycling skirt did
+beautifully for tiger-hunting. There was a vast company of native
+swells, nawabs and ranas, in gorgeous costumes, whose precise names and
+titles I do not pretend to remember; there were also Major Balmossie,
+Lord Southminster, the Maharajah, and myself--all mounted on
+gaily-caparisoned elephants. We had likewise, on foot, a miserable crowd
+of wretched beaters, with dirty white loin-cloths. We were all very
+brave, of course--demonstratively brave--and we talked a great deal at
+the start about the exhilaration given by 'the spice of danger.' But it
+somehow struck me that the poor beaters on foot had the majority of the
+danger and extremely little of the exhilaration. Each of us great folk
+was mounted on his own elephant, which carried a light basket-work
+howdah in two compartments: the front one intended for the noble
+sportsman, the back one for a servant with extra guns and ammunition. I
+pretended to like it, but I fear I trembled visibly. Our mahouts sat on
+the elephants' necks, each armed with a pointed goad, to whose
+admonition the huge beasts answered like clock-work. A born journalist
+always pretends to know everything before hand, so I speak carelessly of
+the 'mahout,' as if he were a familiar acquaintance. But I don't mind
+telling you aside, in confidence, that I had only just learnt the word
+that morning.
+
+The Maharajah protested at first against my taking part in the actual
+hunt, but I think his protest was merely formal. In his heart of hearts
+I believe he was proud that the first lady tiger-hunter should have
+joined his party.
+
+Dusty and shadeless, the road from Moozuffernuggar fares straight across
+the plain towards the crumbling mountains. Behind, in the heat mist, the
+castle and palace on their steeply-scarped crag, with the squalid town
+that clustered at their feet, reminded me once more most strangely of
+Edinburgh, where I used to spend my vacations from Girton. But the
+pitiless sun differed greatly from the gray haar of the northern
+metropolis. It warmed into intense white the little temples of the
+wayside, and beat on our heads with tropical garishness.
+
+I am bound to admit also that tiger-hunting is not quite all it is
+cracked up to be. In my fancy I had pictured the gallant and
+bloodthirsty beast rushing out upon us full pelt from some grass-grown
+nullah at the first sniff of our presence, and fiercely attacking both
+men and elephants. Instead of that, I will confess the whole truth:
+frightened as at least one of us was of the tiger, the tiger was still
+more desperately frightened of his human assailants. I could see clearly
+that, so far from rushing out of his own accord to attack us, his one
+desire was to be let alone. He was horribly afraid; he skulked in the
+jungle like a wary old fox in a trusty spinney. There was no nullah
+(whatever a nullah may be), there was only a waste of dusty cane-brake.
+We encircled the tall grass patch where he lurked, forming a big round
+with a ring-fence of elephants. The beaters on foot, advancing, half
+naked, with a caution with which I could fully sympathise, endeavoured
+by loud shouts and gesticulations to rouse the royal beast to a sense of
+his position. Not a bit of it: the royal beast declined to be drawn; he
+preferred retirement. The Maharajah, whose elephant was stationed next
+to mine, even apologised for the resolute cowardice with which he clung
+to his ignoble lurking-place.
+
+The beaters drew in: the elephants, raising their trunks in air and
+sniffing suspicion, moved slowly inward. We had girt him round now with
+a perfect ring, through which he could not possibly break without
+attacking somebody. The Maharajah kept a fixed eye on my personal
+safety. But still the royal animal crouched and skulked, and still the
+black beaters shrieked, howled, and gesticulated. At last, among the
+tall perpendicular lights and shadows of the big grasses and bamboos, I
+seemed to see something move--something striped like the stems, yet
+passing slowly, slowly, slowly between them. It moved in a stealthy
+undulating line. No one could believe till he saw it how the bright
+flame-coloured bands of vivid orange-yellow on the monster's flanks, and
+the interspersed black stripes, could fade away and harmonise, in their
+native surroundings, with the lights and shades of the upright jungle.
+It was a marvel of mimicry. 'Look there!' I cried to the Maharajah,
+pointing one eager hand. 'What is that thing there, moving?'
+
+He stared where I pointed. 'By Jove,' he cried, raising his rifle with a
+sportsman's quickness, 'you have spotted him first! The tiger!'
+
+The terrified beast stole slowly and cautiously through the tall
+grasses, his lithe, silken side gliding in and out snakewise, and only
+his fierce eyes burning bright with gleaming flashes between the gloom
+of the jungle. Once I had seen him, I could follow with ease his sinuous
+path among the tangled bamboos, a waving line of beauty in perpetual
+motion. The Maharajah followed him too, with his keen eyes, and pointed
+his rifle hastily. But, quick as he was, Lord Southminster was before
+him. I had half expected to find the pea-green young man turn coward at
+the last moment; but in that I was mistaken: I will do him the justice
+to say, whatever else he was, he was a born sportsman. The gleam of joy
+in his leaden eye when he caught sight of the tiger, the flush of
+excitement on his pasty face, the eagerness of his alert attitude, were
+things to see and remember. That moment almost ennobled him. In sight of
+danger, the best instincts of the savage seemed to revive within him. In
+civilised life he was a poor creature; face to face with a wild beast he
+became a mighty shikari. Perhaps that was why he was so fond of big-game
+shooting. He may have felt it raised him in the scale of being.
+
+He lifted his rifle and fired. He was a cool shot, and he wounded the
+beast upon its left shoulder. I could see the great crimson stream gush
+out all at once across the shapely sides, staining the flame-coloured
+stripes and reddening the black shadows. The tiger drew back, gave a
+low, fierce growl, and then crouched among the jungle. I saw he was
+going to leap; he bent his huge backbone into a strong downward curve,
+took in a deep breath, and stood at bay, glaring at us. Which elephant
+would he attack? That was what he was now debating. Next moment, with a
+frightful R'-r'-r'-r', he had straightened out his muscles, and, like a
+bolt from a bow, had launched his huge bulk forward.
+
+I never saw his charge. I never knew he had leapt upon me. I only felt
+my elephant rock from side to side like a ship in a storm. He was
+trumpeting, shaking, roaring with rage and pain, for the tiger was on
+his flanks, its claws buried deep in the skin of his forehead. I could
+not keep my seat; I felt myself tossed about in the frail howdah like a
+pill in a pill-box. The elephant, in a death grapple, was trying to
+shake off his ghastly enemy. For a minute or two, I was conscious of
+nothing save this swinging movement. Then, opening my eyes for a second,
+I saw the tiger, in all his terrible beauty, clinging to the elephant's
+head by the claws of his fore paws, and struggling for a foothold on
+its trunk with his mighty hind legs, in a wounded agony of despair and
+vengeance. He would sell his life dear; he would have one or other of
+us.
+
+Lord Southminster raised his rifle again; but the Maharajah shouted
+aloud in an angry voice: 'Don't fire! Don't fire! You will kill the
+lady! You can't aim at him like that. The beast is rocking so that no
+one can say where a shot will take effect. Down with your gun, sir,
+instantly!'
+
+[Illustration: IT WENT OFF UNEXPECTEDLY.]
+
+My mahout, unable to keep his seat with the rocking, now dropped off his
+cushion among the scrub below. He could speak a few words of English.
+'Shoot, Mem Sahib, shoot!' he cried, flinging his hands up. But I was
+tossed to and fro, from side to side, with my rifle under my arm. It was
+impossible to aim. Yet in sheer terror I tried to draw the trigger. I
+failed; but somehow I caught my rifle against the side of my cage.
+Something snapped in it somewhere. It went off unexpectedly, without my
+aiming or firing. I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw a
+swimming picture of the great sullen beast, loosing his hold on the
+elephant. I saw his brindled face; I saw his white tusks. But his
+gleaming pupils burned bright no longer. His jaw was full towards me: I
+had shot him between the eyes. He fell, slowly, with blood streaming
+from his nostrils, and his tongue lolling out. His muscles relaxed; his
+huge limbs grew limp. In a minute, he lay stretched at full length on
+the ground, with his head on one side, a grand, terrible picture.
+
+My mahout flung up his hands in wonder and amazement. 'My father!' he
+cried aloud. 'Truly, the Mem Sahib is a great shikari!'
+
+The Maharajah stretched across to me. 'That was a wonderful shot!' he
+exclaimed. 'I could never have believed a woman could show such nerve
+and coolness.'
+
+Nerve and coolness, indeed! I was trembling all over like an Italian
+greyhound, every limb a jelly; and I had not even fired: the rifle went
+off of itself without me. I am innocent of having ever endangered the
+life of a haycock. But once more I dissembled. 'Yes, it _was_ a
+difficult shot,' I said jauntily, as if I rather liked tiger-hunting.
+'I didn't think I'd hit him.' Still the effect of my speech was somewhat
+marred, I fear, by the tears that in spite of me rolled down my cheek
+silently.
+
+''Pon honah, I nevah saw a finah piece of shooting in my life,' Lord
+Southminster drawled out. Then he added aside, in an undertone, 'Makes a
+fellow moah determined to annex her than evah!'
+
+I sat in my howdah, half dazed. I hardly heard what they were saying. My
+heart danced like the elephant. Then it stood still within me. I was
+only aware of a feeling of faintness. Luckily for my reputation as a
+mighty sportswoman, however, I just managed to keep up, and did not
+actually faint, as I was more than half inclined to do.
+
+Next followed the native p�an. The beaters crowded round the fallen
+beast in a chorus of congratulation. Many of the villagers also ran out,
+with prayers and ejaculations, to swell our triumph. It was all like a
+dream. They hustled round me and salaamed to me. A woman had shot him!
+Wonderful! A babel of voices resounded in my ears. I was aware that pure
+accident had elevated me into a heroine.
+
+'Put the beast on a pad elephant,' the Maharajah called out.
+
+The beaters tied ropes round his body and raised him with difficulty.
+
+The Maharajah's face grew stern. 'Where are the whiskers?' he asked,
+fiercely, in his own tongue, which Major Balmossie interpreted for me.
+
+The beaters and the villagers, bowing low and expanding their hands,
+made profuse expressions of ignorance and innocence. But the fact was
+patent--the grand face had been mangled. While they had crowded in a
+dense group round the fallen carcass, somebody had cut off the lips and
+whiskers and secreted them.
+
+'They have ruined the skin!' the Maharajah cried out in angry tones. 'I
+intended it for the lady. I shall have them all searched, and the man
+who has done this thing----'
+
+[Illustration: I SAW HIM NOW THE ORIENTAL DESPOT.]
+
+He broke off, and looked around him. His silence was more terrible by
+far than the fiercest threat. I saw him now the Oriental despot. All the
+natives drew back, awe-struck.
+
+'The voice of a king is the voice of a great god,' my mahout murmured,
+in a solemn whisper. Then nobody else said anything.
+
+'Why do they want the whiskers?' I asked, just to set things straight
+again. 'They seem to have been in a precious hurry to take them!'
+
+The Maharajah's brow cleared. He turned to me once more with his
+European manner. 'A tiger's body has wonderful power after his death,'
+he answered. 'His fangs and his claws are very potent charms. His heart
+gives courage. Whoever eats of it will never know fear. His liver
+preserves against death and pestilence. But the highest virtue of all
+exists in his whiskers. They are mighty talismans. Chopped up in food,
+they act as a slow poison, which no doctor can detect, no antidote guard
+against. They are also a sovereign remedy against magic or the evil eye.
+And administered to women, they make an irresistible philtre, a puissant
+love-potion. They secure you the heart of whoever drinks them.'
+
+'I'd give a couple of monkeys for those whiskahs,' Lord Southminster
+murmured, half unnoticed.
+
+We began to move again. 'We'll go on to where we know there is another
+tiger,' the Maharajah said, lightly, as if tigers were partridges. 'Miss
+Cayley, you will come with us?'
+
+I rested on my laurels. (I was quivering still from head to foot.) 'No,
+thank you, Maharajah,' as unconcernedly as I could; 'I've had quite
+enough sport for my first day's tiger-hunting. I think I'll go back now,
+and write a newspaper account of this little adventure.'
+
+'You have had luck,' he put in. 'Not everyone kills a tiger his first
+day out. This will make good reading.'
+
+'I wouldn't have missed it for a hundred pounds,' I answered.
+
+'Then try another.'
+
+'I wouldn't try another for a thousand,' I cried, fervently. That
+evening, at the palace, I was the heroine of the day. They toasted me in
+a bumper of Heidsieck's dry monopole. The men made speeches. Everybody
+talked gushingly of my splendid courage and my steadiness of hand. It
+was a brilliant shot, under such difficult circumstances. For myself, I
+said nothing. I pretended to look modest. I dared not confess the
+truth--that I never fired at all. And from that day to this I have never
+confessed it, till I write it down now in these confiding memoirs.
+
+[Illustration: IT'S I WHO AM THE WINNAH.]
+
+One episode cast a gloom over my ill-deserved triumph. In the course of
+the evening, a telegram arrived for the pea-green young man by a
+white-turbaned messenger. He read it, and crumpled it up carelessly in
+his hand. I looked inquiry. 'Yaas,' he answered, nodding. 'You're quite
+right. It's that! Pooah old Marmy has gone, aftah all! Ezekiel and
+Habakkuk have carried off his sixteen stone at last! And I don't mind
+telling yah now--though it was a neah thing--it's _I_ who am the
+winnah!'
+
+
+
+
+X
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE CROSS-EYED Q.C.
+
+
+The 'cold weather,' as it is humorously called, was now drawing to a
+close, and the young ladies in sailor hats and cambric blouses, who
+flock to India each autumn for the annual marriage-market, were
+beginning to resign themselves to a return to England--unless, of
+course, they had succeeded in 'catching.' So I realised that I must
+hurry on to Delhi and Agra, if I was not to be intercepted by the
+intolerable summer.
+
+When we started from Moozuffernuggar for Delhi and the East, Lord
+Southminster was starting for Bombay and Europe. This surprised me not a
+little, for he had confided to my unsympathetic ear a few nights
+earlier, in the Maharajah's billiard-room, that he was 'stony broke,'
+and must wait at Moozuffernuggar for lack of funds 'till the oof-bird
+laid' at his banker's in England. His conversation enlarged my
+vocabulary, at any rate.
+
+'So you've managed to get away?' I exclaimed, as he dawdled up to me at
+the hot and dusty station.
+
+'Yaas,' he drawled, fixing his eye-glass, and lighting a cigarette.
+'I've--p'f--managed to get away. Maharaj seems to have thought--p'f--it
+would be cheepah in the end to pay me out than to keep me.'
+
+'You don't mean to say he offered to lend you money?' I cried.
+
+'No; not exactly that: _I_ offahed to borrow it.'
+
+'From the man you call a nigger?'
+
+His smile spread broader over his face than ever. 'Well, we borrow from
+the Jews, yah know,' he said pleasantly, 'so why the jooce shouldn't we
+borrow from the heathen also? Spoiling the Egyptians, don't yah
+see?--the same as we used to read about in the Scripchah when we were
+innocent kiddies. Like marriage, quite. You borrow in haste--and repay
+at leisure.'
+
+He strolled off and took his seat. I was glad to get rid of him at the
+main line junction.
+
+In accordance with my usual merciful custom, I spare you the details of
+our visit to Agra, Muttra, Benares. At Calcutta, Elsie left me. Her
+health was now quite restored, dear little soul-- I felt I had done that
+one good thing in life if no other--and she could no longer withstand
+the higher mathematics, which were beckoning her to London with
+invisible fingers. For myself, having so far accomplished my original
+design of going round the world with twopence in my pocket, I could not
+bear to draw back at half the circuit; and Mr. Elworthy having willingly
+consented to my return by Singapore and Yokohama, I set out alone on my
+homeward journey.
+
+[Illustration: HE WROTE, I EXPECT YOU TO COME BACK TO ENGLAND AND MARRY
+ME.]
+
+Harold wrote me from London that all was going well. He had found the
+will which I drew up at Florence in his uncle's escritoire, and
+everything was left to him; but he trusted, in spite of this untoward
+circumstance, long absence might have altered my determination. 'Dear
+Lois,' he wrote, 'I _expect_ you to come back to England and marry me!'
+
+I was brief, but categorical. Nothing, meanwhile, had altered my
+resolve. I did not wish to be considered mercenary. While he was rich
+and honoured, I could never take him. If, some day, fortune
+frowned--but, there--let us not forestall the feet of calamity: let us
+await contingencies.
+
+Still, I was heavy in heart. If only it had been otherwise! To say the
+truth, I should be thrown away on a millionaire; but just think what a
+splendid managing wife a girl like me would have made for a penniless
+pauper!
+
+At Yokohama, however, while I dawdled in curiosity shops, a telegram
+from Harold startled me into seriousness. My chance at last! I knew what
+it meant; that villain Higginson!
+
+'Come home at once. I want your evidence to clear my character.
+Southminster opposes the will as a forgery. He has a strong case; the
+experts are with him.'
+
+Forgery! That was clever. I never thought of that. I suspected them of
+trying to forge a will of their own; but to upset the real one--to throw
+the burden of suspicion on Harold's shoulders--how much subtler and
+craftier!
+
+I saw at a glance it gave them every advantage. In the first place, it
+put Harold virtually in the place of the accused, and compelled him to
+defend instead of attacking--an attitude which prejudices people against
+one from the outset. Then, again, it implied positive criminality on his
+part, and so allowed Lord Southminster to assume the air of injured
+innocence. The eldest son of the eldest brother, unjustly set aside by
+the scheming machinations of an unscrupulous cousin! Primogeniture, the
+ingrained English love for keeping up the dignity of a noble family, the
+prejudice in favour of the direct male line as against the female--all
+were astutely utilised in Lord Southminster's interest. But worst of
+all, it was _I_ who had typewritten the will--I, a friend of Harold's, a
+woman whom Lord Southminster would doubtless try to exhibit as his
+_fianc�e_. I saw at once how much like conspiracy it looked: Harold and
+I had agreed together to concoct a false document, and Harold had forged
+his uncle's signature to it. Could a British jury doubt when a Lord
+declared it?
+
+Fortunately, I was just in time to catch the Canadian steamer from Japan
+to Vancouver. But, oh, the endless breadth of that broad Pacific! How
+time seemed to lag, as each day one rose in the morning, in the midst of
+space; blue sky overhead; behind one, the hard horizon; in front of one,
+the hard horizon; and nothing else visible: then steamed on all day, to
+arrive at night, where?--why, in the midst of space; starry sky
+overhead; behind one, the dim horizon; in front of one, the dim horizon;
+and nothing else visible. The Nile was child's play to it.
+
+[Illustration: IT WAS ENDLESSLY WEARISOME.]
+
+Day after day we steamed, and night after night were still where we
+began--in the centre of the sea, no farther from our starting-point, no
+nearer to our goal, yet for ever steaming. It was endlessly wearisome;
+who could say what might be happening meanwhile in England?
+
+At last, after months, as it seemed, of this slow torture, we reached
+Vancouver. There, in the raw new town, a telegram awaited me. 'Glad to
+hear you are coming. Make all haste. You may be just in time to arrive
+for the trial.'
+
+Just in time! I would not waste a moment. I caught the first train on
+the Canadian Pacific, and travelled straight through, day and night, to
+Montreal and Quebec, without one hour's interval.
+
+I cannot describe to you that journey across a continent I had never
+before seen. It was endless and hopeless. I only know that we crawled up
+the Rocky Mountains and the Selkirk Range, over spider-like viaducts,
+with interminable effort, and that the prairies were just the broad
+Pacific over again. They rolled on for ever. But we did reach Quebec--in
+time we reached it; and we caught by an hour the first liner to
+Liverpool.
+
+At Prince's Landing-stage another telegram awaited me. 'Come on
+at once. Case now proceeding. Harold is in court. We need your
+evidence.--GEORGINA FAWLEY.'
+
+I might still be in time to vindicate Harold's character.
+
+At Euston, to my surprise, I was met not only by my dear cantankerous
+old lady, but also by my friend, the magnificent Maharajah, dressed this
+time in a frock-coat and silk hat of Bond Street glossiness.
+
+'What has brought you to England?' I asked, astonished. 'The Jubilee?'
+
+He smiled, and showed his two fine rows of white teeth. 'That,
+nominally. In reality, the cricket season (I play for Berks). But most
+of all, to see dear Tillington safe through this trouble.'
+
+'He's a brick!' Lady Georgina cried with enthusiasm. 'A regular brick,
+my dear Lois! His carriage is waiting outside to take you up to my
+house. He has stood by Harold--well, like a Christian!'
+
+'Or a Hindu,' the Maharajah corrected, smiling.
+
+'And how have you been all this time, dear Lady Georgina?' I asked,
+hardly daring to inquire about what was nearest to my soul--Harold.
+
+The cantankerous old lady knitted her brows in a familiar fashion. 'Oh,
+my dear, don't ask: I haven't known a happy hour since you left me in
+Switzerland. Lois, I shall never be happy again without you! It would
+pay me to give you a retaining fee of a thousand a year--honour bright,
+it would, I assure you. What I've suffered from the Gretchens since
+you've been in the East has only been equalled by what I've suffered
+from the Mary Annes and the C�lestines. Not a hair left on my scalp; not
+one hair, I declare to you. They've made my head into a _tabula rasa_
+for the various restorers. George R. Sims and Mrs. S. A. Allen are going
+to fight it out between them. My dear, I wish _you_ could take my maid's
+place; I've always said----'
+
+I finished the speech for her. 'A lady can do better whatever she turns
+her hand to than any of these hussies.'
+
+She nodded. 'And why? Because her hands _are_ hands; while as for the
+Gretchens and the Mary Annes, "paws" is the only word one can honestly
+apply to them. Then, on top of it all comes this trouble about Harold.
+So distressing, isn't it? You see, at the point which the matter has
+reached, it's simply impossible to save Harold's reputation without
+wrecking Southminster's. Pretty position that for a respectable family!
+The Ashursts hitherto have been _quite_ respectable: a co-respondent or
+two, perhaps, but never anything serious. Now, either Southminster sends
+Harold to prison, or Harold sends Southminster. There's a nice sort of
+dilemma! I always knew Kynaston's boys were born fools; but to find
+they're born knaves, too, is hard on an old woman in her hairless
+dotage. However, _you've_ come, my child, and _you'll_ soon set things
+right. You're the one person on earth I can trust in this matter.'
+
+Harold go to prison! My head reeled at the thought. I staggered out into
+the open air, and took my seat mechanically in the Maharajah's carriage.
+All London swam before me. After so many months' absence, the
+polychromatic decorations of our English streets, looming up through the
+smoke, seemed both strange and familiar. I drove through the first half
+mile with a vague consciousness that Lipton's tea is the perfection of
+cocoa and matchless for the complexion, but that it dyes all colours,
+and won't wash clothes.
+
+After a while, however, I woke up to the full terror of the situation.
+'Where are you taking me?' I inquired.
+
+'To my house, dear,' Lady Georgina answered, looking anxiously at me;
+for my face was bloodless.
+
+'No, that won't do,' I answered. 'My cue must be now to keep myself as
+aloof as possible from Harold and Harold's backers. I must put up at an
+hotel. It will sound so much better in cross-examination.'
+
+'She's quite right,' the Maharajah broke in, with sudden conviction.
+'One must block every ball with these nasty swift bowlers.'
+
+'Where's Harold?' I asked, after another pause. 'Why didn't he come to
+meet me?'
+
+'My dear, how could he? He's under examination. A cross-eyed Q.C. with
+an odious leer. Southminster's chosen the biggest bully at the Bar to
+support his contention.'
+
+'Drive to some hotel in the Jermyn Street district,' I cried to the
+Maharajah's coachman. 'That will be handy for the law courts.'
+
+He touched his hat and turned. In a sort of dickey behind sat two
+gorgeous-turbaned Rajput servants.
+
+That evening Harold came round to visit me at my rooms. I could see he
+was much agitated. Things had gone very badly. Lady Georgina was there;
+she had stopped to dine with me, dear old thing, lest I should feel
+lonely and give way; so had Elsie Petheridge. Mr. Elworthy sent a
+telegram of welcome from Devonshire. I knew at least that my friends
+were rallying round me in this hour of trial. The kind Maharajah himself
+would have come too, if I had allowed him, but I thought it inexpedient.
+They explained everything to me. Harold had propounded Mr. Ashurst's
+will--the one I drew up at Florence--and had asked for probate. Lord
+Southminster intervened and opposed the grant of probate on the ground
+that the signatures were forgeries. He propounded instead another will,
+drawn some twenty years earlier, when they were both children, duly
+executed at the time, and undoubtedly genuine; in it, testator left
+everything without reserve to the eldest son of his eldest brother, Lord
+Kynaston.
+
+'Marmy didn't know in those days that Kynaston's sons would all grow up
+fools,' Lady Georgina said tartly. 'Besides which, that was before the
+poor dear soul took to plunging on the Stock Exchange and made his
+money. He had nothing to leave then but his best silk hat and a few
+paltry hundreds. Afterwards, when he'd feathered his nest in soap and
+cocoa, he discovered that Bertie--that's Lord Southminster--was a
+first-class idiot. Marmy never liked Southminster, nor Southminster
+Marmy. For after all, with all his faults, Marmy _was_ a gentleman;
+while Bertie--well, my dear, we needn't put a name to it. So he altered
+his will, as you know, when he saw the sort of man Southminster turned
+out, and left practically everything he possessed to Harold.'
+
+'Who are the witnesses to the will?' I asked.
+
+'There's the trouble. Who do you think? Why, Higginson's sister, who was
+Marmy's _masseuse_, and a waiter--Franz Markheim--at the hotel at
+Florence, who's dead they say--or, at least, not forthcoming.'
+
+'And Higginson's sister forswears her signature,' Harold added gloomily;
+'while the experts are, most of them, dead against the genuineness of my
+uncle's.'
+
+'That's clever,' I said, leaning back, and taking it in slowly.
+'Higginson's sister! How well they've worked it. They couldn't prevent
+Mr. Ashurst from making this will, but they managed to supply their own
+tainted witnesses! If it had been Higginson himself now, he'd have had
+to be cross-examined; and in cross-examination, of course, we could have
+shaken his credit, by bringing up the episodes of the Count de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret and Dr. Fortescue-Langley. But his sister! What's she
+like? Have you anything against her?'
+
+'My dear,' Lady Georgina cried, 'there the rogue has bested us. Isn't it
+just like him? What do you suppose he has done? Why, provided himself
+with a sister of tried respectability and blameless character.'
+
+'And she denies that it is her handwriting?' I asked.
+
+'Declares on her Bible oath she never signed the document.'
+
+I was fairly puzzled. It was a stupendously clever dodge. Higginson must
+have trained up his sister for forty years in the ways of wickedness,
+yet held her in reserve for this supreme moment.
+
+'And where is Higginson?' I asked.
+
+Lady Georgina broke into a hysterical laugh. 'Where is he, my dear?
+That's the question. With consummate strategy, the wretch has
+disappeared into space at the last moment.'
+
+'That's artful again,' I said. 'His presence could only damage their
+case. I can see, of course, Lord Southminster has no need of him.'
+
+'Southminster's the wiliest fool that ever lived,' Harold broke out
+bitterly. 'Under that mask of imbecility, he's a fox for trickiness.'
+
+I bit my lip. 'Well, if you succeed in evading him,' I said, 'you will
+have cleared your character. And if you don't--then, Harold, our time
+will have come: you will have your longed-for chance of trying me.'
+
+'That won't do me much good,' he answered, 'if I have to wait fourteen
+years for you--at Portland.'
+
+[Illustration: THE CROSS-EYED Q.C. BEGGED HIM TO BE VERY CAREFUL.]
+
+Next morning, in court, I heard Harold's cross-examination. He described
+exactly where he had found the contested will in his uncle's escritoire.
+The cross-eyed Q.C., a heavy man with bloated features and a bulbous
+nose, begged him, with one fat uplifted forefinger, to be very careful.
+How did he know where to look for it?
+
+'Because I knew the house well: I knew where my uncle was likely to keep
+his valuables.'
+
+'Oh, indeed; _not_ because you had put it there?'
+
+The court rang with laughter. My face grew crimson.
+
+After an hour or two of fencing, Harold was dismissed. He stood down,
+baffled. Counsel recalled Lord Southminster.
+
+The pea-green young man, stepping briskly up, gazed about him,
+open-mouthed, with a vacant stare. The look of cunning on his face was
+carefully suppressed. He wore, on the contrary, an air of injured
+innocence combined with an eye-glass.
+
+'_You_ did not put this will in the drawer where Mr. Tillington found
+it, did you?' counsel asked.
+
+The pea-green young man laughed. 'No, I certainly didn't put it theah.
+My cousin Harold was man in possession. He took jolly good care _I_
+didn't come neah the premises.'
+
+'Do you think you could forge a will if you tried?'
+
+Lord Southminster laughed. 'No, I don't,' he answered, with a
+well-assumed _na�vet�_. 'That's just the difference between us, don't
+yah know. _I'm_ what they call a fool, and my cousin Harold's a precious
+clevah fellah.'
+
+There was another loud laugh.
+
+'That's not evidence,' the judge observed, severely.
+
+It was not. But it told far more than much that was. It told strongly
+against Harold.
+
+'Besides,' Lord Southminster continued, with engaging frankness, 'if I
+forged a will at all, I'd take jolly good care to forge it in my own
+favah.'
+
+My turn came next. Our counsel handed me the incriminated will. 'Did you
+draw up this document?' he asked.
+
+I looked at it closely. The paper bore our Florentine water-mark, and
+was written with a Spread-Eagle. 'I type-wrote it,' I answered, gazing
+at it with care to make sure I recognised it.
+
+Our counsel's business was to uphold the will, not to cast aspersions
+upon it. He was evidently annoyed at my close examination. 'You have no
+doubts about it?' he said, trying to prompt me.
+
+I hesitated. 'No, no doubts,' I answered, turning over the sheet and
+inspecting it still closer. 'I type-wrote it at Florence.'
+
+'Do you recognise that signature as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's?' he went
+on.
+
+I stared at it. Was it his? It was like it, certainly. Yet that _k_? and
+those _s_'s? I almost wondered.
+
+Counsel was obviously annoyed at my hesitation. He thought I was playing
+into the enemy's hands. 'Is it his, or is it not?' he inquired again,
+testily.
+
+'It is his,' I answered. Yet I own I was troubled.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS A GROTESQUE FAILURE.]
+
+He asked many questions about the circumstances of the interview when I
+took down the will. I answered them all. But I vaguely felt he and I
+were at cross-purposes. I grew almost as uncomfortable under his gaze as
+if he had been examining me in the interest of the other side. He
+managed to fluster me. As a witness for Harold, I was a grotesque
+failure.
+
+Then the cross-eyed Q.C., rising and shaking his huge bulk, began to
+cross-examine me. 'Where did you type-write this thing, do you say?' he
+said, pointing to it contemptuously.
+
+'In my office at Florence.'
+
+'Yes, I understand; you had an office in Florence--after you gave up
+retailing bicycles on the public roads; and you had a partner, I
+think--a Miss Petherick, or Petherton, or Pennyfarthing, or something?'
+
+'Miss Petheridge,' I corrected, while the Court tittered.
+
+'Ah, Petheridge, you call it! Well, now answer this question carefully.
+Did your Miss Petheridge hear Mr. Ashurst dictate the terms of his last
+will and testament?'
+
+'No,' I answered. 'The interview was of a strictly confidential
+character. Mr. Ashurst took me aside into the back room at our office.'
+
+'Oh, he took you aside? Confidential? Well, now we're getting at it. And
+did anybody but yourself see or hear any part whatsoever of this
+precious document?'
+
+'Certainly not,' I replied. 'It was a private matter.'
+
+'Private! oh, very! Nobody else saw it. Did Mr. Ashurst take it away
+from the office in person?'
+
+'No; he sent his courier for it.'
+
+'His courier? The man Higginson?'
+
+'Yes; but I refused to give it to Higginson. I took it myself that night
+to the hotel where Mr. Ashurst was stopping.'
+
+'Ah! You took it yourself. So the only other person who knows anything
+at first hand about the existence of the alleged will is this person
+Higginson?'
+
+'Miss Petheridge knows,' I said, flushing. 'At the time, I told her of
+it.'
+
+'Oh, _you_ told her. Well, that doesn't help us much. If what you are
+swearing isn't true--remember, you are on your oath--what you told Miss
+Petherick or Petheridge or Pennyfarthing, "at the time," can hardly be
+regarded as corroborative evidence. Your word then and your word now are
+just equally valuable--or equally worthless. The only person who knows
+besides yourself is Higginson. Now, I ask you, _where_ is Higginson?
+_Are_ you going to produce him?'
+
+The wicked cunning of it struck me dumb. They were keeping him away, and
+then using his absence to cast doubts on my veracity. 'Stop,' I cried,
+taken aback, 'Higginson is well known to be a rogue, and he is keeping
+away lest he may damage your side. I know nothing of Higginson.'
+
+'Yes, I'm coming to that in good time. Don't be afraid that we're going
+to pass over Higginson. You admit this man is a man of bad character.
+Now, what do you know of him?'
+
+I told the stories of the Count and of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.
+
+The cross-eyed cross-examiner leant across towards me and leered. 'And
+this is the man,' he exclaimed, with a triumphant air, 'whose sister you
+pretended you had got to sign this precious document of yours?'
+
+'Whom Mr. Ashurst got to sign it,' I answered, red-hot. 'It is not _my_
+document.'
+
+'And you have heard that she swears it is not her signature at all?'
+
+'So they tell me. She is Higginson's sister. For all I know, she may be
+prepared to swear, or to forswear, anything.'
+
+'Don't cast doubt upon our witnesses without cause! Miss Higginson is an
+eminently respectable woman. You gave this document to Mr. Ashurst, you
+say. There your knowledge of it ends. A signature is placed on it which
+is not his, as our experts testify. It purports to be witnessed by a
+Swiss waiter, who is not forthcoming, and who is asserted to be dead, as
+well as by a nurse who denies her signature. And the only other person
+who knows of its existence before Mr. Tillington "discovers" it in his
+uncle's desk is--the missing man Higginson. Is that, or is it not, the
+truth of the matter?'
+
+'I suppose so,' I said, baffled.
+
+'Well, now, as to this man Higginson. He first appears upon the scene,
+so far as you are concerned, on the day when you travelled from London
+to Schlangenbad?'
+
+'That is so,' I answered.
+
+'And he nearly succeeded then in stealing Lady Georgina Fawley's
+jewel-case?'
+
+'He nearly took it, but I saved it.' And I explained the circumstance.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C. held his fat sides with his hands, looking
+incredulously at me, and smiled. His vast width of waistcoat shook with
+silent merriment. 'You are a very clever young lady,' he murmured. 'You
+can explain away anything. But don't you think it just as likely that it
+was a plot between you two, and that owing to some mistake the plot came
+off unsuccessful?'
+
+'I do not,' I cried, crimson. 'I never saw the Count before that
+morning.'
+
+He tried another tack. 'Still, wherever you went, this man
+Higginson--the only other person, you admit, who knows about the
+previous existence of the will--turned up simultaneously. He was always
+turning up--at the same place as you did. He turned up at Lucerne, as a
+faith-healer, didn't he?'
+
+'If you will allow me to explain,' I cried, biting my lip.
+
+He bowed, all blandness. 'Oh, certainly,' he murmured. 'Explain away
+everything!'
+
+I explained, but of course he had discounted and damaged my explanation.
+
+He made no comment. 'And then,' he went on, with his hands on his hips,
+and his obtrusive rotundity, 'he turned up at Florence, as courier to
+Mr. Ashurst, at the very date when this so-called will was being
+concocted?'
+
+'He was at Florence when Mr. Ashurst dictated it to me,' I answered,
+growing desperate.
+
+'You admit he was in Florence. Good! Once more he turned up in India
+with my client, Lord Southminster, upon whose youth and inexperience he
+had managed to impose himself. And he carried him off, did he not, by
+one of these strange coincidences to which _you_ are peculiarly liable,
+on the very same steamer on which _you_ happened to be travelling?'
+
+'Lord Southminster told me he took Higginson with him because a rogue
+suited his book,' I answered, warmly.
+
+'Will you swear his lordship didn't say "_the_ rogue suited his
+book"--which is quite another thing?' the Q.C. asked blandly.
+
+'I will swear he did not,' I replied. 'I have correctly reported him.'
+
+'Then I congratulate you, young lady, on your excellent memory. My lud,
+will you allow me later to recall Lord Southminster to testify on this
+point?'
+
+The judge nodded.
+
+'Now, once more, as to your relations with the various members of the
+Ashurst family. You introduced yourself to Lady Georgina Fawley, I
+believe, quite casually, on a seat in Kensington Gardens?'
+
+'That is true,' I answered.
+
+'You had never seen her before?'
+
+'Never.'
+
+'And you promptly offered to go with her as her lady's maid to
+Schlangenbad in Germany?'
+
+'In place of her lady's maid, for one week,' I answered.
+
+'Ah; a delicate distinction! "In place of her lady's maid." You are a
+lady, I believe; an officer's daughter, you told us; educated at
+Girton?'
+
+'So I have said already,' I replied, crimson.
+
+'And you stick to it? By all means. Tell--the truth--and stick to it.
+It's always safest. Now, don't you think it was rather an odd thing for
+an officer's daughter to do--to run about Germany as maid to a lady of
+title?'
+
+[Illustration: THE JURY SMILED.]
+
+I tried to explain once more; but the jury smiled. You can't justify
+originality to a British jury. Why, they would send you to prison at
+once for that alone, if they made the laws as well as dispensing them.
+
+He passed on after a while to another topic. 'I think you have boasted
+more than once in society that when you first met Lady Georgina Fawley
+you had twopence in your pocket to go round the world with?'
+
+'I had,' I answered--'and I went round the world with it.'
+
+'Exactly. I'm getting there in time. With it--and other things. A few
+months later, more or less, you were touring up the Nile in your steam
+dahabeeah, and in the lap of luxury; you were taking saloon-carriages on
+Indian railways, weren't you?'
+
+I explained again. 'The dahabeeah was in the service of the _Daily
+Telephone_,' I answered. 'I became a journalist.'
+
+He cross-questioned me about that. 'Then I am to understand,' he said at
+last, leaning forward with all his waistcoat, 'that you sprang yourself
+upon Mr. Elworthy at sight, pretty much as you sprang yourself upon Lady
+Georgina Fawley?'
+
+'We arranged matters quickly,' I admitted. The dexterous wretch was
+making my strongest points all tell against me.
+
+'H'm! Well, he was a man: and you will admit, I suppose,' fingering his
+smooth fat chin, 'that you are a lady of--what is the stock phrase the
+reporters use?--considerable personal attractions?'
+
+'My Lord,' I said, turning to the Bench, 'I appeal to you. Has he the
+right to compel me to answer that question?'
+
+[Illustration: THE QUESTION REQUIRES NO ANSWER, HE SAID.]
+
+The judge bowed slightly. 'The question requires no answer,' he said,
+with a quiet emphasis. I burned bright scarlet.
+
+'Well, my lud, I defer to your ruling,' the cross-eyed cross-examiner
+continued, radiant. 'I go on to another point. When in India, I
+believe, you stopped for some time as a guest in the house of a native
+Maharajah.'
+
+'Is that matter relevant?' the judge asked, sharply.
+
+'My lud,' the Q.C. said, in his blandest voice, 'I am striving to
+suggest to the jury that this lady--the only person who ever beheld this
+so-called will till Mr. Harold Tillington--described in its terms as
+"Younger of Gledcliffe," whatever that may be--produced it out of his
+uncle's desk-- I am striving to suggest that this lady is--my duty to my
+client compels me to say--an adventuress.'
+
+He had uttered the word. I felt my character had not a leg left to stand
+upon before a British jury.
+
+'I went there with my friend, Miss Petheridge----' I began.
+
+'Oh, Miss Petheridge once more--you hunt in couples?'
+
+'Accompanied and chaperoned by a married lady, the wife of a Major
+Balmossie, on the Bombay Staff Corps.'
+
+'That was certainly prudent. One ought to be chaperoned. Can you produce
+the lady?'
+
+'How is it possible?' I cried. 'Mrs. Balmossie is in India.'
+
+'Yes; but the Maharajah, I understand, is in London?'
+
+'That is true,' I answered.
+
+'And he came to meet you on your arrival yesterday.'
+
+'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I cried, taken off my guard.
+
+'Do you not consider it curious,' he asked, 'that these Higginsons and
+these Maharajahs should happen to follow you so closely round the
+world?--should happen to turn up wherever you do?'
+
+'He came to be present at this trial,' I exclaimed.
+
+'And so did you. I believe he met you at Euston last night, and drove
+you to your hotel in his private carriage.'
+
+'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I answered, once more.
+
+'And Lady Georgina is on Mr. Tillington's side, I fancy? Ah, yes, I
+thought so. And Mr. Tillington also called to see you; and likewise Miss
+Petherick-- I beg your pardon, Petheridge. We must be strictly
+accurate--where Miss Petheridge is concerned. And, in fact, you had
+quite a little family party.'
+
+'My friends were glad to see me back again,' I murmured.
+
+He sprang a fresh innuendo. 'But Mr. Tillington did not resent your
+visit to this gallant Maharajah?'
+
+'Certainly not,' I cried, bridling. 'Why should he?'
+
+'Oh, we're getting to that too. Now answer me this carefully. We want to
+find out what interest you might have, supposing a will were forged, on
+either side, in arranging its terms. We want to find out just who would
+benefit by it. Please reply to this question, yes or no, without
+prevarication. Are you or are you not conditionally engaged to Mr.
+Harold Tillington?'
+
+'If I might explain----' I began, quivering.
+
+He sneered. 'You have a genius for explaining, we are aware. Answer me
+first, yes or no; we will qualify afterward.'
+
+I glanced appealingly at the judge. He was adamant. 'Answer as counsel
+directs you, witness,' he said, sternly.
+
+'Yes, I am,' I faltered. 'But----'
+
+'Excuse me one moment. You promised to marry him conditionally upon the
+result of Mr. Ashurst's testamentary dispositions?'
+
+'I did,' I answered; 'but----'
+
+My explanation was drowned in roars of laughter, in which the judge
+joined, in spite of himself. When the mirth in court had subsided a
+little, I went on: 'I told Mr. Tillington I would only marry him in case
+he was poor and without expectations. If he inherited Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst's money, I could never be his wife,' I said it proudly.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C. drew himself up and let his rotundity take care of
+itself. 'Do you take me,' he inquired, 'for one of Her Majesty's
+horse-marines?'
+
+There was another roar of laughter--feebly suppressed by a judicial
+frown--and I slank away, annihilated.
+
+'You can go,' my persecutor said. 'I think we have got--well, everything
+we wanted from you. You promised to marry him, if all went ill! That is
+a delicate feminine way of putting it. Women like these equivocations.
+They relieve one from the onus of speaking frankly.'
+
+I stood down from the box, feeling, for the first time in my life,
+conscious of having scored an ignominious failure.
+
+Our counsel did not care to re-examine me; I recognised that it would be
+useless. The hateful Q.C. had put all my history in such an odious light
+that explanation could only make matters worse--it must savour of
+apology. The jury could never understand my point of view. It could
+never be made to see that there are adventuresses and adventuresses.
+
+Then came the final speeches on either side. Harold's advocate said the
+best he could in favour of the will our party propounded; but his best
+was bad; and what galled me most was this-- I could see he himself did
+not believe in its genuineness. His speech amounted to little more than
+a perfunctory attempt to put the most favourable face on a probable
+forgery.
+
+As for the cross-eyed Q.C., he rose to reply with humorous confidence.
+Swaying his big body to and fro, he crumpled our will and our case in
+his fat fingers like so much flimsy tissue-paper. Mr. Ashurst had made a
+disposition of his property twenty years ago--the right disposition, the
+natural disposition; he had left the bulk of it as childless English
+gentlemen have ever been wont to leave their wealth--to the eldest son
+of the eldest son of his family. The Honourable Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst, the testator, was the scion of a great house, which recent
+agricultural changes, he regretted to say, had relatively impoverished;
+he had come to the succour of that great house, as such a scion should,
+with his property acquired by honest industry elsewhere. It was fitting
+and reasonable that Mr. Ashurst should wish to see the Kynaston peerage
+regain, in the person of the amiable and accomplished young nobleman
+whom he had the honour to represent, some portion of its ancient dignity
+and splendour.
+
+But jealousy and greed intervened. (Here he frowned at Harold.) Mr.
+Harold Tillington, the son of one of Mr. Ashurst's married sisters, cast
+longing eyes, as he had tried to suggest to them, on his cousin Lord
+Southminster's natural heritage. The result, he feared, was an unnatural
+intrigue. Mr. Harold Tillington formed the acquaintance of a young
+lady--should we say young lady?--(he withered me with his glance)--well,
+yes, a lady, indeed, by birth and education, but an adventuress by
+choice--a lady who, brought up in a respectable, though not (he must
+admit) a distinguished sphere, had lowered herself by accepting the
+position of a lady's maid, and had trafficked in patent American cycles
+on the public high-roads of Germany and Switzerland. This clever and
+designing woman (he would grant her ability--he would grant her good
+looks) had fascinated Mr. Tillington--that was the theory he ventured to
+lay before the jury to-day; and the jury would see for themselves that
+whatever else the young lady might be, she had distinctly a certain
+outer gift of fascination. It was for them to decide whether Miss Lois
+Cayley had or had not suggested to Mr. Harold Tillington the design of
+substituting a forged will for Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's undeniable
+testament. He would point out to them her singular connection with the
+missing man Higginson, whom the young lady herself described as a rogue,
+and from whom she had done her very best to dissociate herself in this
+court--but ineffectually. Wherever Miss Cayley went, the man Higginson
+went independently. Such frequent recurrences, such apt juxtapositions
+could hardly be set down to mere accidental coincidence.
+
+He went on to insinuate that Higginson and I had concocted the disputed
+will between us; that we had passed it on to our fellow-conspirator,
+Harold; and that Harold had forged his uncle's signature to it, and had
+appended those of the two supposed witnesses. But who, now, were these
+witnesses? One, Franz Markheim, was dead or missing; dead men tell no
+tales: the other was obviously suggested by Higginson. It was his own
+sister. Perhaps he forged her name to the document. Doubtless he thought
+that family feeling would induce her, when it came to the pinch, to
+accept and endorse her brother's lie; nay, he might even have been
+foolish enough to suppose that this cock-and-bull will would not be
+disputed. If so, he and his master had reckoned without Lord
+Southminster, a gentleman who concealed beneath the careless exterior of
+a man of fashion the solid intelligence of a man of affairs, and the
+hard head of a man not to be lightly cheated in matters of business.
+
+The alleged will had thus not a leg to stand upon. It was 'typewritten'
+(save the mark!) 'from dictation' at Florence, by whom? By the lady who
+had most to gain from its success--the lady who was to be transformed
+from a shady adventuress, tossed about between Irish doctors and Hindu
+Maharajahs, into the lawful wife of a wealthy diplomatist of noble
+family, on one condition only--if this pretended will could be
+satisfactorily established. The signatures were forgeries, as shown by
+the expert evidence, and also by the oath of the one surviving witness.
+
+The will left all the estate--practically--to Mr. Harold Tillington, and
+five hundred pounds to whom?--why, to the accomplice Higginson. The
+minor bequests the Q.C. regarded as ingenious inventions, pure play of
+fancy, 'intended to give artistic verisimilitude,' as Pooh-Bah says in
+the opera, 'to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.' The fads,
+it was true, were known fads of Mr. Ashurst's: but what sort of fads?
+Bimetallism? Anglo-Israel? No, braces and shoe-horns--clearly the kind
+that would best be known to a courier like Higginson, the sole begetter,
+he believed, of this nefarious conspiracy.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C., lifting his fat right hand in solemn adjuration,
+called upon the jury confidently to set aside this ridiculous
+fabrication, and declare for a will of undoubted genuineness, a will
+drawn up in London by a firm of eminent solicitors, and preserved ever
+since by the testator's bankers. It would then be for his lordship to
+decide whether in the public interest he should recommend the Crown to
+prosecute on a charge of forgery the clumsy fabricator of this
+preposterous document.
+
+The judge summed up--strongly in favour of Lord Southminster's will. If
+the jury believed the experts and Miss Higginson, one verdict alone was
+possible. The jury retired for three minutes only. It was a foregone
+conclusion. They found for Lord Southminster. The judge, looking grave,
+concurred in their finding. A most proper verdict. And he considered it
+would be the duty of the Public Prosecutor to pursue Mr. Harold
+Tillington on the charge of forgery.
+
+[Illustration: I REELED WHERE I SAT.]
+
+I reeled where I sat. Then I looked round for Harold.
+
+He had slipped from the court, unseen, during counsel's address, some
+minutes earlier!
+
+That distressed me more than anything else on that dreadful day. I
+wished he had stood up in his place like a man to face this vile and
+cruel conspiracy.
+
+I walked out slowly, supported by Lady Georgina, who was as white as a
+ghost herself, but very straight and scornful. 'I always knew
+Southminster was a fool,' she said aloud; 'I always knew he was a sneak;
+but I did not know till now he was also a particularly bad type of
+criminal.'
+
+On the steps of the court, the pea-green young man met us. His air was
+jaunty. 'Well, I was right, yah see,' he said, smiling and withdrawing
+his cigarette. 'You backed the wrong fellah! I told you I'd win. I won't
+say moah now; this is not the time or place to recur to that subject;
+but, by-and-by, you'll come round; you'll think bettah of it still;
+you'll back the winnah!'
+
+I wished I were a man, that I might have the pleasure of kicking him.
+
+We drove back to my hotel and waited for Harold. To my horror and alarm,
+he never came near us. I might almost have doubted him--if he had not
+been Harold.
+
+I waited and waited. He did not come at all. He sent no word, no
+message. And all that evening we heard the newsboys shouting at the top
+of their voice in the street, 'Extra Speshul! the Ashurst Will Kise;
+Sensational Developments' 'Mysterious Disappearance of Mr. 'Arold
+Tillington.'
+
+
+
+
+XI
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE ORIENTAL ATTENDANT
+
+
+I did not sleep that night. Next morning, I rose very early from a
+restless bed with a dry, hot mouth, and a general feeling that the solid
+earth had failed beneath me.
+
+Still no news from Harold! It was cruel, I thought. My faith almost
+flagged. He was a man and should be brave. How could he run away and
+hide himself at such a time? Even if I set my own anxiety aside, just
+think to what serious misapprehension it laid him open!
+
+I sent out for the morning papers. They were full of Harold. Rumours,
+rumours, rumours! Mr. Tillington had deliberately chosen to put himself
+in the wrong by disappearing mysteriously at the last moment. He had
+only himself to blame if the worst interpretation were put upon his
+action. But the police were on his track; Scotland Yard had 'a clue': it
+was confidently expected an arrest would be made before evening at
+latest. As to details, authorities differed. The officials of the Great
+Western Railway at Paddington were convinced that Mr. Tillington had
+started, alone and undisguised, by the night express for Exeter. The
+South-Eastern inspectors at Charing Cross, on the other hand, were
+equally certain that he had slipped away with a false beard, in company
+with his 'accomplice' Higginson, by the 8.15 P.M. to Paris. Everybody
+took it for granted, however, that he had left London.
+
+Conjecture played with various ultimate destinations--Spain, Morocco,
+Sicily, the Argentine. In Italy, said the _Chronicle_, he might lurk for
+a while--he spoke Italian fluently, and could manage to put up at tiny
+_osterie_ in out-of-the-way places seldom visited by Englishmen. He
+might try Albania, said the _Morning Post_, airing its exclusive
+'society' information: he had often hunted there, and might in turn be
+hunted. He would probably attempt to slink away to some remote spot in
+the Carpathians or the Balkans, said the _Daily News_, quite proud of
+its geography. Still, wherever he went, leaden-footed justice in this
+age, said the _Times_, must surely overtake him. The day of universal
+extradition had dawned; we had no more Alsatias: even the Argentine
+itself gives up its rogues--at last; not an asylum for crime remains in
+Europe, not a refuge in Asia, Africa, America, Australia, or the Pacific
+Islands.
+
+I noted with a shudder of horror that all the papers alike took his
+guilt as certain. In spite of a few decent pretences at not prejudging
+an untried cause, they treated him already as the detected criminal, the
+fugitive from justice. I sat in my little sitting-room at the hotel in
+Jermyn Street, a limp rag, looking idly out of the window with swimming
+eyes, and waiting for Lady Georgina. It was early, too early, but--oh,
+why didn't she come! Unless _somebody_ soon sympathised with me, my
+heart would break under this load of loneliness!
+
+Presently, as I looked out on the sloppy morning street, I was vaguely
+aware through the mist that floated before my dry eyes (for tears were
+denied me) of a very grand carriage driving up to the doorway--the porch
+with the four wooden Ionic pillars. I took no heed of it. I was too
+heart-sick for observation. My life was wrecked, and Harold's with it.
+Yet, dimly through the mist, I became conscious after a while that the
+carriage was that of an Indian prince; I could see the black faces, the
+white turbans, the gold brocades of the attendants in the dickey. Then
+it came home to me with a pang that this was the Maharajah.
+
+It was kindly meant; yet after all that had been insinuated in court the
+day before, I was by no means over-pleased that his dusky Highness
+should come to call upon me. Walls have eyes and ears. Reporters were
+hanging about all over London, eager to distinguish themselves by
+successful eavesdropping. They would note, with brisk innuendoes after
+their kind, how 'the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar called early in the
+day on Miss Lois Cayley, with whom he remained for at least half an hour
+in close consultation.' I had half a mind to send down a message that I
+could not see him. My face still burned with the undeserved shame of the
+cross-eyed Q.C.'s unspeakable suggestions.
+
+Before I could make my mind up, however, I saw to my surprise that the
+Maharajah did not propose to come in himself. He leaned back in his
+place with his lordly Eastern air, and waited, looking down on the
+gapers in the street, while one of the two gorgeous attendants in the
+dickey descended obsequiously to receive his orders. The man was dressed
+as usual in rich Oriental stuffs, and wore his full white turban swathed
+in folds round his head. I could not see his features. He bent forward
+respectfully with Oriental suppleness to take his Highness's orders.
+Then, receiving a card and bowing low, he entered the porch with the
+wooden Ionic pillars, and disappeared within, while the Maharajah folded
+his hands and seemed to resign himself to a temporary Nirvana.
+
+[Illustration: THE MESSENGER ENTERED.]
+
+A minute later, a knock sounded on my door. 'Come in!' I said, faintly;
+and the messenger entered.
+
+I turned and faced him. The blood rushed to my cheek. 'Harold!' I cried,
+darting forward. My joy overcame me. He folded me in his arms. I allowed
+him, unreproved. For the first time he kissed me. I did not shrink from
+it.
+
+Then I stood away a little and gazed at him. Even at that crucial moment
+of doubt and fear, I could not help noticing how admirably he made up
+as a handsome young Rajput. Three years earlier, at Schlangenbad, I
+remembered he had struck me as strangely Oriental-looking: he had the
+features of a high-born Indian gentleman, without the complexion. His
+large, poetical eyes, his regular, oval face, his even teeth, his mouth
+and moustache, all vaguely recalled the highest type of the Eastern
+temperament. Now, he had blackened his face and hands with some
+permanent stain--Indian ink, I learned later--and the resemblance to a
+Rajput chief was positively startling. In his gold brocade and ample
+white turban, no passer-by, I felt sure, would ever have dreamt of
+doubting him.
+
+'Then you knew me at once?' he said, holding my face between his hands.
+'That's bad, darling! I flattered myself I had transformed my face into
+the complete Indian.'
+
+'Love has sharp eyes,' I answered. 'It can see through brick walls. But
+the disguise is perfect. No one else would detect you.'
+
+'Love is blind, I thought.'
+
+'Not where it ought to see. There, it pierces everything. I knew you
+instantly, Harold. But all London, I am sure, would pass you by,
+unknown. You are absolute Orient.'
+
+'That's well; for all London is looking for me,' he answered, bitterly.
+'The streets bristle with detectives. Southminster's knaveries have won
+the day. So I have tried this disguise. Otherwise, I should have been
+arrested the moment the jury brought in their verdict.'
+
+'And why were you not?' I asked, drawing back. 'Oh, Harold, I trust
+you; but why did you disappear and make all the world believe you
+admitted yourself guilty?'
+
+He opened his arms. 'Can't you guess?' he cried, holding them out to
+me.
+
+I nestled in them once more; but I answered through my tears--I had
+found tears now--'No Harold; it baffles me.'
+
+'You remember what you promised me?' he murmured, leaning over me and
+clasping me. 'If ever I were poor, friendless, hunted--you would marry
+me. Now the opportunity has come when we can both prove ourselves.
+To-day, except you and dear Georgey, I haven't a friend in the world.
+Everyone else has turned against me. Southminster holds the field. I am
+a suspected forger; in a very few days I shall doubtless be a convicted
+felon. Unjustly, as you know; yet still--we must face it--a convicted
+felon. So I have come to claim you. I have come to ask you now, in this
+moment of despair, will you keep your promise?'
+
+I lifted my face to his. He bent over it trembling. I whispered the
+words in his ear. 'Yes, Harold, I will keep it. I have always loved you.
+And now I will marry you.'
+
+'I knew you would!' he cried, and pressed me to his bosom.
+
+We sat for some minutes, holding each other's hands, and saying nothing;
+we were too full of thought for words. Then suddenly, Harold roused
+himself. 'We must make haste, darling,' he cried. 'We are keeping Partab
+outside, and every minute is precious, every minute's delay dangerous.
+We ought to go down at once. Partab's carriage is waiting at the door
+for us.'
+
+'Go down?' I exclaimed, clinging to him. 'How? Why? I don't understand.
+What is your programme?'
+
+'Ah, I forgot I hadn't explained to you! Listen here, dearest--quick; I
+can waste no words over it. I said just now I had no friends in the
+world but you and Georgey. That's not true, for dear old Partab has
+stuck to me nobly. When all my English friends fell away, the Rajput
+was true to me. He arranged all this; it was his own idea; he foresaw
+what was coming. He urged me yesterday, just before the verdict (when he
+saw my acquaintances beginning to look askance), to slip quietly out of
+court, and make my way by unobtrusive roads to his house in Curzon
+Street. There, he darkened my face like his, and converted me to
+Hinduism. I don't suppose the disguise will serve me for more than a day
+or two; but it will last long enough for us to get safely away to
+Scotland.'
+
+'Scotland?' I murmured. 'Then you mean to try a Scotch marriage?'
+
+'It is the only thing possible. We must be married to-day, and in
+England, of course, we cannot do it. We would have to be called in
+church, or else to procure a license, either of which would involve
+disclosure of my identity. Besides, even the license would keep us
+waiting about for a day or two. In Scotland, on the other hand, we can
+be married at once. Partab's carriage is below, to take you to King's
+Cross. He is staunch as steel, dear fellow. Do you consent to go with
+me?'
+
+My faculty for promptly making up such mind as I possess stood me once
+more in good stead. 'Implicitly,' I answered. 'Dear Harold, this
+calamity has its happy side--for without it, much as I love you, I could
+never have brought myself to marry you!'
+
+'One moment,' he cried. 'Before you go, recollect, this step is
+irrevocable. You will marry a man who may be torn from you this evening,
+and from whom fourteen years of prison may separate you.'
+
+'I know it,' I cried, through my tears. 'But-- I shall be showing my
+confidence in you, my love for you.'
+
+He kissed me once more, fervently. 'This makes amends for all,' he
+cried. 'Lois, to have won such a woman as you, I would go through it all
+a thousand times over. It was for this, and for this alone, that I hid
+myself last night. I wanted to give you the chance of showing me how
+much, how truly you loved me.'
+
+'And after we are married?' I asked, trembling.
+
+'I shall give myself up at once to the police in Edinburgh.'
+
+I clung to him wistfully. My heart half urged me to urge him to escape.
+But I knew that was wrong. 'Give yourself up, then,' I said, sobbing.
+'It is a brave man's place. You must stand your trial; and, come what
+will, I will strive to bear it with you.'
+
+'I knew you would,' he cried. 'I was not mistaken in you.'
+
+We embraced again, just once. It was little enough after those years of
+waiting.
+
+'Now, come!' he cried. 'Let us go.'
+
+I drew back. 'Not with you, dearest,' I whispered. 'Not in the
+Maharajah's carriage. You must start by yourself. I will follow you at
+once, to King's Cross, in a hansom.'
+
+He saw I was right. It would avoid suspicion, and it would prevent more
+scandal. He withdrew without a word. 'We meet,' I said, 'at ten, at
+King's Cross Station.'
+
+I did not even wait to wash the tears from my eyes. All red as they
+were, I put on my hat and my little brown travelling jacket. I don't
+think I so much as glanced once at the glass. The seconds were precious.
+I saw the Maharajah drive away, with Harold in the dickey, arms crossed,
+imperturbable, Orientally silent. He looked the very counterpart of the
+Rajput by his side. Then I descended the stairs and walked out boldly.
+As I passed through the hall, the servants and the visitors stared at me
+and whispered. They spoke with nods and liftings of the eyebrows. I was
+aware that that morning I had achieved notoriety.
+
+At Piccadilly Circus, I jumped of a sudden into a passing hansom.
+'King's Cross!' I cried, as I mounted the step. 'Drive quick! I have no
+time to spare.' And, as the man drove off, I saw, by a convulsive dart
+of someone across the road, that I had given the slip to a disappointed
+reporter.
+
+At the station I took a first-class ticket for Edinburgh. On the
+platform, the Maharajah and his attendants were waiting. He lifted his
+hat to me, though otherwise he took no overt notice. But I saw his keen
+eyes follow me down the train. Harold, in his Oriental dress, pretended
+not to observe me. One or two porters, and a few curious travellers,
+cast inquiring eyes on the Eastern prince, and made remarks about him to
+one another. 'That's the chap as was up yesterday in the Ashurst will
+kise!' said one lounger to his neighbour. But nobody seemed to look at
+Harold; his subordinate position secured him from curiosity. The
+Maharajah had always two Eastern servants, gorgeously dressed, in
+attendance; he had been a well-known figure in London society, and at
+Lord's and the Oval, for two or three seasons.
+
+'Bloomin' fine cricketer!' one porter observed to his mate as he passed.
+
+'Yuss; not so dusty for a nigger,' the other man replied. 'Fust-rite
+bowler; but, Lord, he can't 'old a candle to good old Ranji.'
+
+As for myself, nobody seemed to recognise me. I set this fact down to
+the fortunate circumstance that the evening papers had published rough
+wood-cuts which professed to be my portrait, and which naturally led the
+public to look out for a brazen-faced, raw-boned, hard-featured
+termagant.
+
+I took my seat in a ladies' compartment by myself. As the train was
+about to start, Harold strolled up as if casually for a moment. 'You
+think it better so?' he queried, without moving his lips or seeming to
+look at me.
+
+'Decidedly,' I answered. 'Go back to Partab. Don't come near me again
+till we get to Edinburgh. It is dangerous still. The police may at any
+moment hear we have started and stop us half-way; and now that we have
+once committed ourselves to this plan it would be fatal to be
+interrupted before we have got married.'
+
+'You are right,' he cried; 'Lois, you are always right, somehow.'
+
+I wished I could think so myself; but 'twas with serious misgivings that
+I felt the train roll out of the station.
+
+Oh, that long journey north, alone, in a ladies' compartment--with the
+feeling that Harold was so near, yet so unapproachable: it was an
+endless agony. _He_ had the Maharajah, who loved and admired him, to
+keep him from brooding; but I, left alone, and confined with my own
+fears, conjured up before my eyes every possible misfortune that Heaven
+could send us. I saw clearly now that if we failed in our purpose this
+journey would be taken by everyone for a flight, and would deepen the
+suspicion under which we both laboured. It would make me still more
+obviously a conspirator with Harold.
+
+Whatever happened, we must strain every nerve to reach Scotland in
+safety, and then to get married, in order that Harold might immediately
+surrender himself.
+
+[Illustration: HE TOOK A LONG, CARELESS STARE AT ME.]
+
+At York, I noticed with a thrill of terror that a man in plain clothes,
+with the obtrusively unobtrusive air of a detective, looked carefully
+though casually into every carriage. I felt sure he was a spy, because
+of his marked outer jauntiness of demeanour, which hardly masked an
+underlying hang-dog expression of scrutiny. When he reached my place,
+he took a long, careless stare at me--a seemingly careless stare, which
+was yet brim-full of the keenest observation. Then he paced slowly along
+the line of carriages, with a glance at each, till he arrived just
+opposite the Maharajah's compartment. There he stared hard once more.
+The Maharajah descended; so did Harold and the Hindu attendant, who was
+dressed just like him. The man I took for a detective indulged in a
+frank, long gaze at the unconscious Indian prince, but cast only a hasty
+eye on the two apparent followers. That touch of revelation relieved my
+mind a little. I felt convinced the police were watching the Maharajah
+and myself, as suspicious persons connected with the case; but they had
+not yet guessed that Harold had disguised himself as one of the two
+invariable Rajput servants.
+
+We steamed on northward. At Newcastle, the same detective strolled, with
+his hands in his pockets, along the train once more, and puffed a cigar
+with the nonchalant air of a sporting gentleman. But I was certain now,
+from the studious unconcern he was anxious to exhibit, that he must be a
+spy upon us. He overdid his mood of careless observation. It was too
+obvious an assumption. Precisely the same thing happened again when we
+pulled up at Berwick. I knew now that we were watched. It would be
+impossible for us to get married at Edinburgh if we were thus closely
+pursued. There was but one chance open; we must leave the train abruptly
+at the first Scotch stopping station.
+
+The detective knew we were booked through for Edinburgh. So much I could
+tell, because I saw him make inquiries of the ticket examiner at York,
+and again at Berwick, and because the ticket-examiner thereupon entered
+a mental note of the fact as he punched my ticket each time: 'Oh,
+Edinburgh, miss? All right'; and then stared at me suspiciously. I could
+tell he had heard of the Ashurst will case. He also lingered long about
+the Maharajah's compartment, and then went back to confer with the
+detective. Thus, putting two and two together, as a woman will, I came
+to the conclusion that the spy did not expect us to leave the train
+before we reached Edinburgh. That told in our favour. Most men trust
+much to just such vague expectations. They form a theory, and then
+neglect the adverse chances. You can only get the better of a skilled
+detective by taking him thus, psychologically and humanly.
+
+By this time, I confess, I felt almost like a criminal. Never in my life
+had danger loomed so near--not even when we returned with the Arabs from
+the oasis. For then we feared for our lives alone; now, we feared for
+our honour.
+
+I drew a card from my case before we left Berwick station, and scribbled
+a few hasty words on it in German. 'We are watched. A detective! If we
+run through to Edinburgh, we shall doubtless be arrested or at least
+impeded. This train will stop at Dunbar for one minute. Just before it
+leaves again, get out as quietly as you can--at the last moment. I will
+also get out and join you. Let Partab go on; it will excite less
+attention. The scheme I suggest is the only safe plan. If you agree, as
+soon as we have well started from Berwick, shake your handkerchief
+unobtrusively out of your carriage window.'
+
+[Illustration: I BECKONED A PORTER.]
+
+I beckoned a porter noiselessly without one word. The detective was now
+strolling along the fore-part of the train, with his back turned towards
+me, peering as he went into all the windows. I gave the porter a
+shilling. 'Take this to a black gentleman in the next carriage but one,'
+I said, in a confidential whisper. The porter touched his hat, nodded,
+smiled, and took it.
+
+Would Harold see the necessity for acting on my advice?-- I wondered. I
+gazed out along the train as soon as we had got well clear of Berwick. A
+minute--two minutes--three minutes passed; and still no handkerchief. I
+began to despair. He was debating, no doubt. If he refused, all was
+lost, and we were disgraced for ever.
+
+At last, after long waiting, as I stared still along the whizzing line,
+with the smoke in my eyes, and the dust half blinding me, I saw, to my
+intense relief, a handkerchief flutter. It fluttered once, not markedly,
+then a black hand withdrew it. Only just in time, for even as it
+disappeared, the detective's head thrust itself out of a farther window.
+He was not looking for anything in particular, as far as I could
+tell--just observing the signals. But it gave me a strange thrill to
+think even now we were so nearly defeated.
+
+My next trouble was--would the train draw up at Dunbar? The 10 A.M. from
+King's Cross is not set down to stop there in Bradshaw, for no
+passengers are booked to or from the station by the day express; but I
+remembered from of old when I lived at Edinburgh, that it used always to
+wait about a minute for some engine-driver's purpose. This doubt filled
+me with fresh fear; did it draw up there still?--they have accelerated
+the service so much of late years, and abolished so many old accustomed
+stoppages. I counted the familiar stations with my breath held back.
+They seemed so much farther apart than usual. Reston--Grant's
+House--Cockburnspath--Innerwick.
+
+The next was Dunbar. If we rolled past _that_, then all was lost. We
+could never get married. I trembled and hugged myself.
+
+The engine screamed. Did that mean she was running through? Oh, how I
+wished I had learned the interpretation of the signals!
+
+Then gradually, gently, we began to slow. Were we slowing to pass the
+station only? No; with a jolt she drew up. My heart gave a bound as I
+read the word 'Dunbar' on the station notice-board.
+
+I rose and waited, with my fingers on the door. Happily it had one of
+those new-fashioned slip-latches which open from inside. No need to
+betray myself prematurely to the detective by a hand displayed on the
+outer handle. I glanced out at him cautiously. His head was thrust
+through his window, and his sloping shoulders revealed the spy, but he
+was looking the other way--observing the signals, doubtless, to discover
+why we stopped at a place not mentioned in Bradshaw.
+
+Harold's face just showed from another window close by. Too soon or too
+late might either of them be fatal. He glanced inquiry at me. I nodded
+back, 'Now!' The train gave its first jerk, a faint backward jerk,
+indicative of the nascent intention of starting. As it braced itself to
+go on, I jumped out; so did Harold. We faced one another on the platform
+without a word. 'Stand away there:' the station-master cried, in an
+angry voice. The guard waved his green flag. The detective, still
+absorbed on the signals, never once looked back. One second later, we
+were safe at Dunbar, and he was speeding away by the express for
+Edinburgh.
+
+It gave us a breathing space of about an hour.
+
+[Illustration: YOU CAN'T GET OUT HERE, HE SAID, CRUSTILY.]
+
+For half a minute I could not speak. My heart was in my mouth. I hardly
+even dared to look at Harold. Then the station-master stalked up to us
+with a threatening manner. 'You can't get out here,' he said, crustily,
+in a gruff Scotch voice. 'This train is not timed to set down before
+Edinburgh.'
+
+'We _have_ got out,' I answered, taking it upon me to speak for my
+fellow-culprit, the Hindu--as he was to all seeming. 'The logic of facts
+is with us. We were booked through to Edinburgh, but we wanted to stop
+at Dunbar; and as the train happened to pull up, we thought we needn't
+waste time by going on all that way and then coming back again.'
+
+'Ye should have changed at Berwick,' the station-master said, still
+gruffly, 'and come on by the slow train.' I could see his careful
+Scotch soul was vexed (incidentally) at our extravagance in paying the
+extra fare to Edinburgh and back again.
+
+In spite of agitation, I managed to summon up one of my sweetest
+smiles--a smile that ere now had melted the hearts of rickshaw coolies
+and of French _douaniers_. He thawed before it visibly. 'Time was
+important to us,' I said--oh, he guessed not how important; 'and
+besides, you know, it is so good for the company!'
+
+'That's true,' he answered, mollified. He could not tilt against the
+interests of the North British shareholders. 'But how about yer luggage?
+It'll have gone on to Edinburgh, I'm thinking.'
+
+'We _have_ no luggage,' I answered boldly.
+
+He stared at us both, puckered his brow a moment, and then burst out
+laughing. 'Oh, ay, I see,' he answered, with a comic air of amusement.
+'Well, well, it's none of my business, no doubt, and I will not
+interfere with ye; though why a lady like you----' He glanced curiously
+at Harold.
+
+I saw he had guessed right, and thought it best to throw myself
+unreservedly on his mercy. Time was indeed important. I glanced at the
+station clock. It was not very far from the stroke of six, and we must
+manage to get married before the detective could miss us at Edinburgh,
+where he was due at 6.30.
+
+So I smiled once more, that heart-softening smile. 'We have each our own
+fancies,' I said blushing--and, indeed (such is the pride of race among
+women), I felt myself blush in earnest at the bare idea that I was
+marrying a black man, in spite of our good Maharajah's kindness. 'He is
+a gentleman, and a man of education and culture.' I thought that
+recommendation ought to tell with a Scotchman. 'We are in sore straits
+now, but our case is a just one. Can you tell me who in this place is
+most likely to sympathise--most likely to marry us?'
+
+He looked at me--and surrendered at discretion. 'I should think anybody
+would marry ye who saw yer pretty face and heard yer sweet voice,' he
+answered. 'But, perhaps, ye'd better present yerself to Mr. Schoolcraft,
+the U.P. minister at Little Kirkton. He was aye soft-hearted.'
+
+'How far from here?' I asked.
+
+'About two miles,' he answered.
+
+'Can we get a trap?'
+
+'Oh ay, there's machines always waiting at the station.'
+
+[Illustration: WE TOLD OUR TALE.]
+
+We interviewed a 'machine,' and drove out to Little Kirkton. There, we
+told our tale in the fewest words possible to the obliging and
+good-natured U.P. minister. He looked, as the station-master had said,
+'soft-hearted'; but he dashed our hopes to the ground at once by telling
+us candidly that unless we had had our residence in Scotland for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the marriage, it would not be
+legal. 'If you were Scotch,' he added, 'I could go through the ceremony
+at once, of course; and then you could apply to the sheriff to-night for
+leave to register the marriage in proper form afterward: but as one of
+you is English, and the other I judge'--he smiled and glanced towards
+Harold--'an Indian-born subject of Her Majesty, it would be impossible
+for me to do it: the ceremony would be invalid, under Lord Brougham's
+Act, without previous residence.'
+
+This was a terrible blow. I looked away appealingly. 'Harold,' I cried
+in despair, 'do you think we could manage to hide ourselves safely
+anywhere in Scotland for twenty-one days?'
+
+His face fell. 'How could I escape notice? All the world is hunting for
+me. And then the scandal! No matter where you stopped--however far from
+me--no, Lois darling, I could never expose you to it.'
+
+The minister glanced from one to the other of us, puzzled. 'Harold?' he
+said, turning over the word on his tongue. 'Harold? That doesn't sound
+like an Indian name, does it? And----' he hesitated, 'you speak
+wonderful English!'
+
+I saw the safest plan was to make a clean breast of it. He looked the
+sort of man one could trust on an emergency. 'You have heard of the
+Ashurst will case?' I said, blurting it out suddenly.
+
+'I have seen something about it in the newspapers; yes. But it did not
+interest me: I have not followed it.'
+
+I told him the whole truth; the case against us--the facts as we knew
+them. Then I added, slowly, 'This is Mr. Harold Tillington, whom they
+accuse of forgery. Does he look like a forger? I want to marry him
+before he is tried. It is the only way by which I can prove my implicit
+trust in him. As soon as we are married, he will give himself up at once
+to the police--if you wish it, before your eyes. But married we must be.
+_Can't_ you manage it somehow?'
+
+My pleading voice touched him. 'Harold Tillington?' he murmured. 'I know
+of his forebears. Lady Guinevere Tillington's son, is it not? Then you
+must be Younger of Gledcliffe.' For Scotland is a village: everyone in
+it seems to have heard of every other.'
+
+'What does he mean?' I asked. 'Younger of Gledcliffe?' I remembered now
+that the phrase had occurred in Mr. Ashurst's will, though I never
+understood it.
+
+'A Scotch fashion,' Harold answered. 'The heir to a laird is called
+Younger of so-and-so. My father has a small estate of that name in
+Dumfriesshire; a _very_ small estate: I was born and brought up there.'
+
+'Then you are a Scotchman?' the minister asked.
+
+'Yes,' Harold answered frankly: 'by remote descent. We are trebly of the
+female line at Gledcliffe; still, I am no doubt more or less Scotch by
+domicile.'
+
+'Younger of Gledcliffe! Oh, yes, that ought certainly to be quite
+sufficient for our purpose. Do you live there?'
+
+'I have been living there lately. I always live there when I'm in
+Britain. It is my only home. I belong to the diplomatic service.'
+
+'But then--the lady?'
+
+'She is unmitigatedly English,' Harold admitted, in a gloomy voice.
+
+'Not quite,' I answered. 'I lived four years in Edinburgh. And I spent
+my holidays there while I was at Girton. I keep my boxes still at my old
+rooms in Maitland Street.'
+
+'Oh, that will do,' the minister answered, quite relieved; for it was
+clear that our anxiety and the touch of romance in our tale had enlisted
+him in our favour. 'Indeed, now I come to think of it, it suffices for
+the Act if one only of the parties is domiciled in Scotland. And as Mr.
+Tillington lives habitually at Gledcliffe, that settles the question.
+Still, I can do nothing save marry you now by religious service in the
+presence of my servants--which constitutes what we call an
+ecclesiastical marriage--it becomes legal if afterwards registered; and
+then you must apply to the sheriff for a warrant to register it. But I
+will do what I can; later on, if you like, you can be re-married by the
+rites of your own Church in England.'
+
+'Are you quite sure our Scotch domicile is good enough in law?' Harold
+asked, still doubtful.
+
+'I can turn it up, if you wish. I have a legal handbook. Before Lord
+Brougham's Act, no formalities were necessary. But the Act was passed to
+prevent Gretna Green marriages. The usual phrase is that such a marriage
+does not hold good unless one or other of the parties either has had his
+or her usual residence in Scotland, or else has lived there for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the date of the marriage. If you
+like, I will wait to consult the authorities.'
+
+'No, thank you,' I cried. 'There is no time to lose. Marry us first, and
+look it up afterwards. "One or other" will do, it seems. Mr. Tillington
+is Scotch enough, I am sure; he has no address in Britain but
+Gledcliffe: we will rest our claim upon that. Even if the marriage turns
+out invalid, we only remain where we were. This is a preliminary
+ceremony to prove good faith, and to bind us to one another. We can
+satisfy the law, if need be, when we return to England.'
+
+The minister called in his wife and servants, and explained to them
+briefly. He exhorted us and prayed. We gave our solemn consent in legal
+form before two witnesses. Then he pronounced us duly married. In a
+quarter of an hour more, we had made declaration to that effect before
+the sheriff, the witnesses accompanying us, and were formally affirmed
+to be man and wife before the law of Great Britain. I asked if it would
+hold in England as well.
+
+'You couldn't be firmer married,' the sheriff said, with decision, 'by
+the Archbishop of Canterbury in Westminster Abbey.'
+
+Harold turned to the minister. 'Will you send for the police?' he said,
+calmly. 'I wish to inform them that I am the man for whom they are
+looking in the Ashurst will case.'
+
+Our own cabman went to fetch them. It was a terrible moment. But Harold
+sat in the sheriff's study and waited, as if nothing unusual were
+happening. He talked freely but quietly. Never in my life had I felt so
+proud of him.
+
+At last the police came, much inflated with the dignity of so great a
+capture, and took down our statement. 'Do you give yourself in charge on
+a confession of forgery?' the superintendent asked, as Harold ended.
+
+'Certainly not,' Harold answered. 'I have not committed forgery. But I
+do not wish to skulk or hide myself. I understand a warrant is out
+against me in London. I have come to Scotland, hurriedly, for the sake
+of getting married, not to escape apprehension. I am here, openly,
+under my own name. I tell you the facts; 'tis for you to decide; if you
+choose, you can arrest me.'
+
+The superintendent conferred for some time in another room with the
+sheriff. Then he returned to the study. 'Very well, sir,' he said, in a
+respectful tone, 'I arrest you.'
+
+So that was the beginning of our married life. More than ever, I felt
+sure I could trust in Harold.
+
+The police decided, after hearing by telegram from London, that we must
+go up at once by the night express, which they stopped for the purpose.
+They were forced to divide us. I took the sleeping-car; Harold travelled
+with two constables in a ordinary carriage. Strange to say,
+notwithstanding all this, so great was our relief from the tension of
+our flight, that we both slept soundly.
+
+Next morning we arrived in London, Harold guarded. The police had
+arranged that the case should come up at Bow Street that afternoon. It
+was not an ideal honeymoon, and yet, I was somehow happy.
+
+At King's Cross, they took him away from me. Still, I hardly cried. All
+the way up in the train, whenever I was awake, an idea had been haunting
+me--a possible clue to this trickery of Lord Southminster's. Petty
+details cropped up and fell into their places. I began to unravel it all
+now. I had an inkling of a plan to set Harold right again.
+
+The will we had proved----but I must not anticipate.
+
+When we parted, Harold kissed me on the forehead, and murmured rather
+sadly, 'Now, I suppose it's all up. Lois, I must go. These rogues have
+been too much for us.'
+
+[Illustration: I HAVE FOUND A CLUE.]
+
+'Not a bit of it,' I answered, new hope growing stronger and stronger
+within me. 'I see a way out. I have found a clue. I believe, dear
+Harold, the right will still be vindicated.'
+
+And red-eyed as I was, I jumped into a hansom, and called to the cabman
+to drive at once to Lady Georgina's.
+
+
+
+
+XII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE
+
+
+'Is Lady Georgina at home?' The discreet man-servant in sober black
+clothes eyed me suspiciously. 'No, miss,' he answered. 'That is to
+say--no, ma'am. Her ladyship is still at Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's--the
+late Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst, I mean--in Park Lane North. You know the
+number, ma'am?'
+
+'Yes, I know it,' I replied, with a gasp; for this was indeed a triumph.
+My one fear had been lest Lord Southminster should already have taken
+possession--why, you will see hereafter; and it relieved me to learn
+that Lady Georgina was still at hand to guard my husband's interests.
+She had been living at the house, practically, since her brother's
+death. I drove round with all speed, and flung myself into my dear old
+lady's arms.
+
+'Kiss me,' I cried, flushed. 'I am your niece!' But she knew it already,
+for our movements had been fully reported by this time (with picturesque
+additions) in the morning papers. Imagination, ill-developed in the
+English race, seems to concentrate itself in the lower order of
+journalists.
+
+She kissed me on both cheeks with unwonted tenderness. 'Lois,' she
+cried, with tears in her eyes, 'you're a brick!' It was not exactly
+poetical at such a moment, but from her it meant more than much gushing
+phraseology.
+
+'And you're here in possession!' I murmured.
+
+[Illustration: I'VE HELD THE FORT BY MAIN FORCE.]
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady nodded. She was in her element, I must admit.
+She dearly loved a row--above all, a family row; but to be in the thick
+of a family row, and to feel herself in the right, with the law against
+her--that was joy such as Lady Georgina had seldom before experienced.
+'Yes, dear,' she burst out volubly, 'I'm in possession, thank Heaven.
+And what's more, they won't oust me without a legal process. I've been
+here, off and on, you know, ever since poor dear Marmy died, looking
+after things for Harold; and I shall look after them still, till Bertie
+Southminster succeeds in ejecting me, which won't be easy. Oh, I've held
+the fort by main force, I can tell you; held it like a Trojan. Bertie's
+in a precious great hurry to move in, I can see; but I won't allow him.
+He's been down here this morning, fatuously blustering, and trying to
+carry the post by storm, with a couple of policemen.'
+
+'Policemen!' I cried. 'To turn you out?'
+
+'Yes, my dear, policemen: but (the Lord be praised) I was too much for
+him. There are legal formalities to fulfil yet; and I won't budge an
+inch, Lois, not one inch, my dear, till he's fulfilled every one of
+them. Mark my words, child, that boy's up to some devilry.'
+
+'He is,' I answered.
+
+'Yes, he wouldn't be in such a rampaging hurry to get in--being as lazy
+as he's empty-headed--takes after Gwendoline in that--if he hadn't some
+excellent reason for wishing to take possession: and depend upon it, the
+reason is that he wants to get hold of something or other that's
+Harold's. But he sha'n't if I can help it; and, thank my stars, I'm a
+dour woman to reckon with. If he comes, he comes over my old bones,
+child. I've been overhauling everything of Marmy's, I can tell you, to
+checkmate the boy if I can; but I've found nothing yet, and till I've
+satisfied myself on that point, I'll hold the fort still, if I have to
+barricade that pasty-faced scoundrel of a nephew of mine out by piling
+the furniture against the front door-- I will, as sure as my name's
+Georgina Fawley!'
+
+'I know you will, dear,' I assented, kissing her, 'and so I shall
+venture to leave you, while I go out to institute another little
+enquiry.'
+
+'What enquiry?'
+
+I shook my head. 'It's only a surmise,' I said, hesitating. 'I'll tell
+you about it later. I've had time to think while I've been coming back
+in the train, and I've thought of many things. Mount guard till I
+return, and mind you don't let Lord Southminster have access to
+anything.'
+
+'I'll shoot him first, dear.' And I believe she meant it.
+
+I drove on in the same cab to Harold's solicitor. There I laid my fresh
+doubts at once before him. He rubbed his bony hands. 'You've hit it!' he
+cried, charmed. 'My dear madam, you've hit it! I never did like that
+will. I never did like the signatures, the witnesses, the look of it.
+But what could I do? Mr. Tillington propounded it. Of course it wasn't
+my business to go dead against my own client.'
+
+'Then you doubted Harold's honour, Mr. Hayes?' I cried, flushing.
+
+[Illustration: NEVER! HE ANSWERED. NEVER!]
+
+'Never!' he answered. 'Never! I felt sure there must be some mistake
+somewhere, but not any trickery on--your husband's part. Now, _you_
+supply the right clue. We must look into this, immediately.'
+
+He hurried round with me at once in the same cab to the court. The
+incriminated will had been 'impounded,' as they call it; but, under
+certain restrictions, and subject to the closest surveillance, I was
+allowed to examine it with my husband's solicitor, before the eyes of
+the authorities. I looked at it long with the naked eye and also with a
+small pocket lens. The paper, as I had noted before, was the same kind
+of foolscap as that which I had been in the habit of using at my office
+in Florence; and the typewriting--was it mine? The longer I looked at
+it, the more I doubted it.
+
+After a careful examination I turned round to our solicitor. 'Mr.
+Hayes,' I said, firmly, having arrived at my conclusion, 'this is _not_
+the document I type-wrote at Florence.'
+
+'How do you know?' he asked. 'A different machine? Some small
+peculiarity in the shape of the letters?'
+
+'No, the rogue who typed this will was too cunning for that. He didn't
+allow himself to be foiled by such a scholar's mate. It is written with
+a Spread Eagle, the same sort of machine precisely as my own. I know the
+type perfectly. But----' I hesitated.
+
+'But what?'
+
+'Well, it is difficult to explain. There is character in typewriting,
+just as there is in handwriting, only, of course, not quite so much of
+it. Every operator is liable to his own peculiar tricks and blunders.
+If I had some of my own typewritten manuscript here to show you, I could
+soon make that evident.'
+
+'I can easily believe it. Individuality runs through all we do, however
+seemingly mechanical. But are the points of a sort that you could make
+clear in court to the satisfaction of a jury?'
+
+'I think so. Look here, for example. Certain letters get habitually
+mixed up in typewriting; _c_ and _v_ stand next one another on the
+keyboard of the machine, and the person who typed this draft sometimes
+strikes a _c_ instead of a _v_, or _vice vers�_. I never do that. The
+letters I tend to confuse are _s_ and _w_, or else _e_ and _r_, which
+also come very near one another in the arbitrary arrangement. Besides,
+when I type-wrote the original of this will, I made no errors at all; I
+took such very great pains about it.'
+
+'And this person did make errors?'
+
+'Yes; struck the wrong letter first, and then corrected it often by
+striking another rather hard on top of it. See, this was a _v_ to begin
+with, and he turned it into a _c_. Besides, the hand that wrote this
+will is heavier than mine: it comes down _thump_, _thump_, _thump_,
+while mine glides lightly. And the hyphens are used with a space between
+them, and the character of the punctuation is not exactly as I make it.'
+
+'Still,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'we have nothing but your word. I'm afraid,
+in such a case, we could never induce a jury to accept your unsupported
+evidence.'
+
+'I don't want them to accept it,' I answered. 'I am looking this up for
+my own satisfaction. I want to know, first, who wrote this will. And of
+one thing I am quite clear: it is _not_ the document I drew up for Mr.
+Ashurst. Just look at that _x_. The _x_ alone is conclusive. My
+typewriter had the upper right-hand stroke of the small _x_ badly
+formed, or broken, while this one is perfect. I remember it well,
+because I used always to improve all my lower-case _x_'s with a pen when
+I re-read and corrected. I see their dodge clearly now. It is a most
+diabolical conspiracy. Instead of forging a will in Lord Southminster's
+favour, they have substituted a forgery for the real will, and then
+managed to make my poor Harold prove it.'
+
+'In that case, no doubt, they have destroyed the real one, the
+original,' Mr. Hayes put in.
+
+'I don't think so,' I answered, after a moment's deliberation. 'From
+what I know of Mr. Ashurst, I don't believe it is likely he would have
+left his will about carelessly anywhere. He was a secretive man, fond of
+mysteries and mystifications. He would be sure to conceal it. Besides,
+Lady Georgina and Harold have been taking care of everything in the
+house ever since he died.'
+
+'But,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'the forger of this document, supposing it to
+be forged, must have had access to the original, since you say the terms
+of the two are identical; only the signatures are forgeries. And if he
+saw and copied it, why might he not also have destroyed it?'
+
+A light flashed across me all at once. 'The forger _did_ see the
+original,' I cried, 'but not the fair copy. I have it all now! I detect
+their trick! It comes back to me vividly! When I had finished typing the
+copy at Florence from my first rough draft, which I had taken down on
+the machine before Mr. Ashurst's eyes, I remember now that I threw the
+original into the waste-paper basket. It must have been there that
+evening when Higginson called and asked for the will to take it back to
+Mr. Ashurst. He called for it, no doubt, hoping to open the packet
+before he delivered it and make a copy of the document for this very
+purpose. But I refused to let him have it. Before he saw me, however,
+he had been left by himself for ten minutes in the office; for I
+remember coming out to him and finding him there alone: and during that
+ten minutes, being what he is, you may be sure he fished out the rough
+draft and appropriated it!'
+
+[Illustration: WE SHALL HAVE HIM IN OUR POWER.]
+
+'That is more than likely,' my solicitor nodded. 'You are tracking him
+to his lair. We shall have him in our power.'
+
+I grew more and more excited as the whole cunning plot unravelled itself
+mentally step by step before me. 'He must then have gone to Lord
+Southminster,' I went on, 'and told him of the legacy he expected from
+Mr. Ashurst. It was five hundred pounds--a mere trifle to Higginson, who
+plays for thousands. So he must have offered to arrange matters for Lord
+Southminster if Southminster would consent to make good that sum and a
+great deal more to him. That odious little cad told me himself on the
+_Jumna_ they were engaged in pulling off "a big _coup_" between them. He
+thought then I would marry him, and that he would so secure my
+connivance in his plans; but who would marry such a piece of moist clay?
+Besides, I could never have taken anyone but Harold.' Then another clue
+came home to me. 'Mr. Hayes,' I cried, jumping at it, 'Higginson, who
+forged this will, never saw the real document itself at all; he saw only
+the draft: for Mr. Ashurst altered one word _viva voce_ in the original
+at the last moment, and I made a pencil note of it on my cuff at the
+time: and see, it isn't here, though I inserted it in the final clean
+copy of the will--the word 'especially.' It grows upon me more and more
+each minute that the real instrument is hidden somewhere in Mr.
+Ashurst's house--Harold's house--our house; and that _because_ it is
+there Lord Southminster is so indecently anxious to oust his aunt and
+take instant possession.'
+
+'In that case,' Mr. Hayes remarked, 'we had better go back to Lady
+Georgina without one minute's delay, and, while she still holds the
+house, institute a thorough search for it.'
+
+No sooner said than done. We jumped again into our cab and started. As
+we drove back, Mr. Hayes asked me where I thought we were most likely to
+find it.
+
+'In a secret drawer in Mr. Ashurst's desk,' I answered, by a flash of
+instinct, without a second's hesitation.
+
+'How do you know there's a secret drawer?'
+
+'I don't know it. I infer it from my general knowledge of Mr. Ashurst's
+character. He loved secret drawers, ciphers, cryptograms,
+mystery-mongering.'
+
+'But it was in that desk that your husband found the forged document,'
+the lawyer objected.
+
+Once more I had a flash of inspiration or intuition. 'Because White, Mr.
+Ashurst's valet, had it in readiness in his possession,' I answered,
+'and hid it there, in the most obvious and unconcealed place he could
+find, as soon as the breath was out of his master's body. I remember now
+Lord Southminster gave himself away to some extent in that matter. The
+hateful little creature isn't really clever enough, for all his
+cunning,--and with Higginson to back him,--to mix himself up in such
+tricks as forgery. He told me at Aden he had had a telegram from
+"Marmy's valet," to report progress; and he received another, the night
+Mr. Ashurst died, at Moozuffernuggar. Depend upon it, White was more or
+less in this plot; Higginson left him the forged will when they started
+for India; and, as soon as Mr. Ashurst died, White hid it where Harold
+was bound to find it.'
+
+'If so,' Mr. Hayes answered, 'that's well; we have something to go upon.
+The more of them, the better. There is safety in numbers--for the honest
+folk. I never knew three rogues hold long together, especially when
+threatened with a criminal prosecution. Their confederacy breaks down
+before the chance of punishment. Each tries to screen himself by
+betraying the others.'
+
+'Higginson was the soul of this plot,' I went on. 'Of that you may be
+sure. He's a wily old fox, but we'll run him to earth yet. The more I
+think of it, the more I feel sure, from what I know of Mr. Ashurst's
+character, he would never have put that will in so exposed a place as
+the one where Harold says he found it.'
+
+We drew up at the door of the disputed house just in time for the siege.
+Mr. Hayes and I walked in. We found Lady Georgina face to face with Lord
+Southminster. The opposing forces were still at the stage of
+preliminaries of warfare.
+
+'Look heah,' the pea-green young man was observing, in his drawling
+voice, as we entered; 'it's no use your talking, deah Georgey. This
+house is mine, and I won't have you meddling with it.'
+
+'This house is not yours, you odious little scamp,' his aunt retorted,
+raising her shrill voice some notes higher than usual; 'and while I can
+hold a stick you shall not come inside it.'
+
+'Very well, then; you drive me to hostilities, don't yah know. I'm sorry
+to show disrespect to your gray hairs--if any--but I shall be obliged to
+call in the police to eject yah.'
+
+'Call them in if you like,' I answered, interposing between them. 'Go
+out and get them! Mr. Hayes, while he's gone, send for a carpenter to
+break open the back of Mr. Ashurst's escritoire.'
+
+'A carpentah?' he cried, turning several degrees whiter than his pasty
+wont. 'What for? A carpentah?'
+
+I spoke distinctly. 'Because we have reason to believe Mr. Ashurst's
+real will is concealed in this house in a secret drawer, and because the
+keys were in the possession of White, whom we believe to be your
+accomplice in this shallow conspiracy.'
+
+He gasped and looked alarmed. 'No, you don't,' he cried, stepping
+briskly forward. 'You don't, I tell yah! Break open Marmy's desk! Why,
+hang it all, it's my property.'
+
+'We shall see about that after we've broken it open,' I answered grimly.
+'Here, this screw-driver will do. The back's not strong. Now, your help,
+Mr. Hayes--one, two, three; we can prise it apart between us.'
+
+Lord Southminster rushed up and tried to prevent us. But Lady Georgina,
+seizing both wrists, held him tight as in a vice with her dear skinny
+old hands. He writhed and struggled all in vain: he could not escape
+her. 'I've often spanked you, Bertie,' she cried, 'and if you attempt to
+interfere, I'll spank you again; that's the long and the short of it!'
+
+He broke from her and rushed out, to call the police, I believe, and
+prevent our desecration of pooah Marmy's property.
+
+[Illustration: VICTORY.]
+
+Inside the first shell were several locked drawers, and two or three
+open ones, out of one of which Harold had fished the false will.
+Instinct taught me somehow that the central drawer on the left-hand side
+was the compartment behind which lay the secret receptacle. I prised it
+apart and peered about inside it. Presently I saw a slip-panel, which I
+touched with one finger. The pigeon-hole flew open and disclosed a
+narrow slit I clutched at something--the will! Ho, victory! the will! I
+raised it aloft with a wild shout. Not a doubt of it! The real, the
+genuine document!
+
+We turned it over and read it. It was my own fair copy, written at
+Florence, and bearing all the small marks of authenticity about it which
+I had pointed out to Mr. Hayes as wanting to the forged and impounded
+document. Fortunately, Lady Georgina and four of the servants had stood
+by throughout this scene, and had watched our demeanour, as well as Lord
+Southminster's.
+
+We turned next to the signatures. The principal one was clearly Mr.
+Ashurst's-- I knew it at once--his legible fat hand, 'Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst.' And then the witnesses? They fairly took our breath away.
+
+'Why, Higginson's sister isn't one of them at all,' Mr. Hayes cried,
+astonished.
+
+A flush of remorse came over me. I saw it all now. I had misjudged that
+poor woman! She had the misfortune to be a rogue's sister, but, as
+Harold had said, was herself a most respectable and blameless person.
+Higginson must have forged her name to the document; that was all; and
+she had naturally sworn that she never signed it. He knew her honesty.
+It was a master-stroke of rascality.
+
+'The other one isn't here, either,' I exclaimed, growing more puzzled.
+'The waiter at the hotel! Why, that's another forgery! Higginson must
+have waited till the man was safely dead, and then used him similarly.
+It was all very clever. Now, who are these people who really witnessed
+it?'
+
+'The first one,' Mr. Hayes said, examining the handwriting, 'is Sir
+Roger Bland, the Dorsetshire baronet: he's dead, poor fellow; but he
+was at Florence at the time, and I can answer for his signature. He was
+a client of mine, and died at Mentone. The second is Captain Richards,
+of the Mounted Police: he's living still, but he's away in South
+Africa.'
+
+'Then they risked his turning up?'
+
+'If they knew who the real witnesses were at all--which is doubtful. You
+see, as you say, they may have seen the rough draft only.'
+
+'Higginson would know,' I answered. 'He was with Mr. Ashurst at Florence
+at the time, and he would take good care to keep a watch upon his
+movements. In my belief, it was he who suggested this whole plot to Lord
+Southminster.'
+
+'Of course it was,' Lady Georgina put in. 'That's absolutely certain.
+Bertie's a rogue as well as a fool: but he's too great a fool to invent
+a clever roguery, and too great a knave not to join in it foolishly when
+anybody else takes the pains to invent it.'
+
+'And it _was_ a clever roguery,' Mr. Hayes interposed. 'An ordinary
+rascal would have forged a later will in Lord Southminster's favour and
+run the risk of detection; Higginson had the acuteness to forge a will
+exactly like the real one, and to let your husband bear the burden of
+the forgery. It was as sagacious as it was ruthless.'
+
+'The next point,' I said, 'will be for us to prove it.'
+
+At that moment the bell rang, and one of the house-servants--all puzzled
+by this conflict of interests--came in with a telegram, which he handed
+me on a salver. I broke it open, without glancing at the envelope. Its
+contents baffled me: 'My address is Hotel Bristol, Paris; name as usual.
+Send me a thousand pounds on account at once. I can't afford to wait. No
+shillyshallying.'
+
+The message was unsigned. For a moment, I couldn't imagine who sent it,
+or what it was driving at.
+
+Then I took up the envelope. 'Viscount Southminster, 24 Park Lane North,
+London.'
+
+My heart gave a jump. I saw in a second that chance, or Providence, had
+delivered the conspirators into my hands that day. The telegram was from
+Higginson! I had opened it by accident.
+
+It was obvious what had happened. Lord Southminster must have written to
+him on the result of the trial, and told him he meant to take possession
+of his uncle's house immediately. Higginson had acted on that hint, and
+addressed his telegram where he thought it likely Lord Southminster
+would receive it earliest. I had opened it in error, and that, too, was
+fortunate, for even in dealing with such a pack of scoundrels, it would
+never have occurred to me to violate somebody else's correspondence had
+I not thought it was addressed to me. But having arrived at the truth
+thus unintentionally, I had, of course, no scruples about making full
+use of my information.
+
+I showed the despatch at once to Lady Georgina and Mr. Hayes. They
+recognised its importance. 'What next?' I inquired. 'Time presses. At
+half-past three Harold comes up for examination at Bow Street.'
+
+Mr. Hayes was ready with an apt expedient. 'Ring the bell for Mr.
+Ashurst's valet,' he said, quietly. 'The moment has now arrived when we
+can begin to set these conspirators by the ears. As soon as they learn
+that we know all, they will be eager to inform upon one another.'
+
+I rang the bell. 'Send up White,' I said. 'We wish to speak to him.'
+
+The valet stole up, self-accused, a timid, servile creature, rubbing his
+hands nervously, and suspecting mischief. He was a rat in trouble. He
+had thin brown hair, neatly brushed and plastered down, so as to make it
+look still thinner, and his face was the average narrow cunning face of
+the dishonest man-servant. It had an ounce of wile in it to a pound or
+two of servility. He seemed just the sort of rogue meanly to join in an
+underhand conspiracy, and then meanly to back out of it. You could read
+at a glance that his principle in life was to save his own bacon.
+
+[Illustration: YOU WISHED TO SEE ME, SIR?]
+
+He advanced, fumbling his hands all the time, and smiling and fawning.
+'You wished to see me, sir?' he murmured, in a deprecatory voice,
+looking sideways at Lady Georgina and me, but addressing the lawyer.
+
+'Yes, White, I wished to see you. I have a question to ask you. _Who_
+put the forged will in Mr. Ashurst's desk? Was it you, or some other
+person?'
+
+The question terrified him. He changed colour and gasped. But he rubbed
+his hands harder than ever and affected a sickly smile. 'Oh, sir, how
+should _I_ know, sir? _I_ had nothing to do with it. I suppose--it was
+Mr. Tillington.'
+
+Our lawyer pounced upon him like a hawk on a titmouse. 'Don't
+prevaricate with me, sir,' he said, sternly. 'If you do, it may be worse
+for you. This case has assumed quite another aspect. It is you and your
+associates who will be placed in the dock, not Mr. Tillington. You had
+better speak the truth; it is your one chance, I warn you. Lie to me,
+and instead of calling you as a witness for our case, I shall include
+you in the indictment.'
+
+White looked down uneasily at his shoes, and cowered. 'Oh, sir, I don't
+understand you.'
+
+'Yes you do. You understand me, and you know I mean it. Wriggling is
+useless; we intend to prosecute. We have unravelled this vile plot. We
+know the whole truth. Higginson and Lord Southminster forged a will
+between them----'
+
+'Oh, sir, _not_ Lord Southminster! His lordship, I'm sure----'
+
+Mr. Hayes's keen eye had noted the subtle shade of distinction and
+admission. But he said nothing openly. 'Well, then, Higginson forged,
+and Lord Southminster accepted, a false will, which purported to be Mr.
+Marmaduke Ashurst's. Now, follow me clearly. That will could not have
+been put into the escritoire during Mr. Ashurst's life, for there would
+have been risk of his discovering it. It must, therefore, have been put
+there afterward. The moment he was dead, you, or somebody else with your
+consent and connivance, slipped it into the escritoire; and you
+afterwards showed Mr. Tillington the place where you had set it or seen
+it set, leading him to believe it was Mr. Ashurst's will, and so
+involved him in all this trouble. Note that that was a felonious act. We
+accuse you of felony. Do you mean to confess, and give evidence on our
+behalf, or will you force me to send for a policeman to arrest you?'
+
+The cur hesitated still. 'Oh, sir,' drawing back, and fumbling his hands
+on his breast, 'you don't mean it.'
+
+Mr. Hayes was prompt. 'Hesslegrave, go for a policeman.'
+
+That curt sentence brought the rogue on his marrow-bones at once. He
+clasped his hands and debated inwardly. 'If I tell you all I know,' he
+said, at last, looking about him with an air of abject terror, as if he
+thought Lord Southminster or Higginson would hear him, 'will you promise
+not to prosecute me?' His tone became insinuating. 'For a hundred
+pounds, I could find the real will for you. You'd better close with me.
+To-day is the last chance. As soon as his lordship comes in, he'll hunt
+it up and destroy it.'
+
+I flourished it before him, and pointed with one hand to the broken
+desk, which he had not yet observed in his craven agitation.
+
+'We do not need your aid,' I answered. 'We have found the will,
+ourselves. Thanks to Lady Georgina, it is safe till this minute.'
+
+'And to me,' he put in, cringing, and trying after his kind, to curry
+favour with the winners at the last moment. 'It's all _my_ doing, my
+lady! I wouldn't destroy it. His lordship offered me a hundred pounds
+more to break open the back of the desk at night, while your ladyship
+was asleep, and burn the thing quietly. But I told him he might do his
+own dirty work if he wanted it done. It wasn't good enough while your
+ladyship was here in possession. Besides, I wanted the right will
+preserved, for I thought things might turn up so; and I wouldn't stand
+by and see a gentleman like Mr. Tillington, as has always behaved well
+to me, deprived of his inheritance.'
+
+'Which is why you conspired with Lord Southminster to rob him of it, and
+to send him to prison for Higginson's crime,' I interposed calmly.
+
+'Then you confess you put the forged will there?' Mr. Hayes said,
+getting to business.
+
+White looked about him helplessly. He missed his headpiece, the
+instigator of the plot. 'Well, it was like this, my lady,' he began,
+turning to Lady Georgina, and wriggling to gain time. 'You see, his
+lordship and Mr. Higginson----' he twirled his thumbs and tried to
+invent something plausible.
+
+Lady Georgina swooped. 'No rigmarole!' she said, sharply. 'Do you
+confess you put it there or do you not--reptile?' Her vehemence startled
+him.
+
+'Yes, I confess I put it there,' he said at last, blinking. 'As soon as
+the breath was out of Mr. Ashurst's body I put it there.' He began to
+whimper. 'I'm a poor man with a wife and family, sir,' he went on,
+'though in Mr. Ashurst's time I always kep' that quiet; and his lordship
+offered to pay me well for the job; and when you're paid well for a job
+yourself, sir----'
+
+Mr. Hayes waved him off with one imperious hand. 'Sit down in the corner
+there, man, and don't move or utter another word,' he said, sternly,
+'until I order you. You will be in time still for me to produce at Bow
+Street.'
+
+Just at that moment, Lord Southminster swaggered back, accompanied by a
+couple of unwilling policemen. 'Oh, I say,' he cried, bursting in and
+staring around him, jubilant. 'Look heah, Georgey, _are_ you going
+quietly, or must I ask these coppahs to evict you?' He was wreathed in
+smiles now, and had evidently been fortifying himself with brandies and
+soda.
+
+Lady Georgina rose in her wrath. 'Yes, I'll go if you wish it, Bertie,'
+she answered, with calm irony. 'I'll leave the house as soon as you
+like--for the present--till we come back again with Harold and _his_
+policemen to evict you. This house is Harold's. Your game is played,
+boy.' She spoke slowly. 'We have found the other will--we have
+discovered Higginson's present address in Paris--and we know from White
+how he and you arranged this little conspiracy.'
+
+[Illustration: WELL, THIS IS A FAIR KNOCK-OUT, HE EJACULATED.]
+
+She rapped out each clause in this last accusing sentence with
+deliberate effect, like so many pistol-shots. Each bullet hit home. The
+pea-green young man, drawing back and staring, stroked his shadowy
+moustache with feeble fingers in undisguised astonishment. Then he
+dropped into a chair and fixed his gaze blankly on Lady Georgina. 'Well,
+this is a fair knock-out,' he ejaculated, fatuously disconcerted. 'I
+wish Higginson was heah. I really don't quite know what to do without
+him. That fellah had squared it all up so neatly, don't yah know, that I
+thought there couldn't be any sort of hitch in the proceedings.'
+
+'You reckoned without Lois,' Lady Georgina said, calmly.
+
+'Ah, Miss Cayley--that's true. I mean, Mrs. Tillington. Yaas, yaas, I
+know, she's a doosid clevah person--for a woman,--now isn't she?'
+
+It was impossible to take this flabby creature seriously, even as a
+criminal. Lady Georgina's lips relaxed. 'Doosid clever,' she admitted,
+looking at me almost tenderly.
+
+'But not quite so clevah, don't yah know, as Higginson!'
+
+'There you make your blooming little erraw,' Mr. Hayes burst in,
+adopting one of Lord Southminster's favourite witticisms--the sort of
+witticism that improves, like poetry, by frequent repetition.
+'Policemen, you may go into the next room and wait: this is a family
+affair; we have no immediate need of you.'
+
+'Oh, certainly,' Lord Southminster echoed, much relieved. 'Very propah
+sentiment! Most undesirable that the constables should mix themselves up
+in a family mattah like this. Not the place for inferiahs!'
+
+'Then why introduce them?' Lady Georgina burst out, turning on him.
+
+He smiled his fatuous smile. 'That's just what I say,' he answered. 'Why
+the jooce introduce them? But don't snap my head off!'
+
+The policemen withdrew respectfully, glad to be relieved of this
+unpleasant business, where they could gain no credit, and might possibly
+involve themselves in a charge of assault. Lord Southminster rose with a
+benevolent grin, and looked about him pleasantly. The brandies and soda
+had endowed him with irrepressible cheerfulness.
+
+'Well?' Lady Georgina murmured.
+
+'Well, I think I'll leave now, Georgey. You've trumped my ace, yah know.
+Nasty trick of White to go and round on a fellah. I don't like the turn
+this business is taking. Seems to me, the only way I have left to get
+out of it is--to turn Queen's evidence.'
+
+Lady Georgina planted herself firmly against the door. 'Bertie,' she
+cried, 'no, you don't--not till we've got what we want out of you!'
+
+He gazed at her blandly. His face broke once more into an imbecile
+smile. 'You were always a rough 'un, Georgey. Your hand did sting! Well,
+what do you want now? We've each played our cards, and you needn't cut
+up rusty over it--especially when you're winning! Hang it all, I wish I
+had Higginson heah to tackle you!'
+
+'If you go to see the Treasury people, or the Solicitor-General, or the
+Public Prosecutor, or whoever else it may be,' Lady Georgina said,
+stoutly, 'Mr. Hayes must go with you. We've trumped your ace, as you
+say, and we mean to take advantage of it. And then you must trundle
+yourself down to Bow Street afterwards, confess the whole truth, and set
+Harold at liberty.'
+
+'Oh, I say now, Georgey! The whole truth! the whole blooming truth!
+That's really what I call humiliating a fellah!'
+
+'If you don't, we arrest you this minute--fourteen years' imprisonment!'
+
+'Fourteen yeahs?' He wiped his forehead. 'Oh, I say. How doosid
+uncomfortable. I was nevah much good at doing anything by the sweat of
+my brow. I ought to have lived in the Garden of Eden. Georgey, you're
+hard on a chap when he's down on his luck. It would be confounded cruel
+to send me to fourteen yeahs at Portland.'
+
+'You would have sent my husband to it,' I broke in, angrily, confronting
+him.
+
+'What? You too, Miss Cayley?-- I mean Mrs. Tillington. Don't look at me
+like that. Tigahs aren't in it.'
+
+His jauntiness disarmed us. However wicked he might be, one felt it
+would be ridiculous to imprison this schoolboy. A sound flogging and a
+month's deprivation of wine and cigarettes was the obvious punishment
+designed for him by nature.
+
+'You must go down to the police-court and confess this whole
+conspiracy,' Lady Georgina went on after a pause, as sternly as she was
+able. 'I prefer, if we can, to save the family--even you, Bertie. But I
+can't any longer save the family honour-- I can only save Harold's. You
+must help me to do that; and then, you must give me your solemn
+promise--in writing--to leave England for ever, and go to live in South
+Africa.'
+
+He stroked the invisible moustache more nervously than before. That
+penalty came home to him. 'What, leave England for evah?
+Newmarket--Ascot--the club--the music-halls!'
+
+'Or fourteen years' imprisonment!'
+
+'Georgey, you spank as hard as evah!'
+
+'Decide at once, or we arrest you!'
+
+He glanced about him feebly. I could see he was longing for his lost
+confederate. 'Well, I'll go,' he said at last, sobering down; 'and your
+solicitaw can trot round with me. I'll do all that you wish, though I
+call it most unfriendly. Hang it all, fourteen yeahs would be so beastly
+unpleasant!'
+
+We drove forthwith to the proper authorities, who, on hearing the facts,
+at once arranged to accept Lord Southminster and White as Queen's
+evidence, neither being the actual forger. We also telegraphed to Paris
+to have Higginson arrested, Lord Southminster giving us up his assumed
+name with the utmost cheerfulness, and without one moment's compunction.
+Mr. Hayes was quite right: each conspirator was only too ready to save
+himself by betraying his fellows. Then we drove on to Bow Street (Lord
+Southminster consoling himself with a cigarette on the way), just in
+time for Harold's case, which was to be taken, by special arrangement,
+at 3.30.
+
+A very few minutes sufficed to turn the tables completely on the
+conspirators. Harold was discharged, and a warrant was issued for the
+arrest of Higginson, the actual forger. He had drawn up the false will
+and signed it with Mr. Ashurst's name, after which he had presented it
+for Lord Southminster's approval. The pea-green young man told his tale
+with engaging frankness. 'Bertie's a simple Simon,' Lady Georgina
+commented to me; 'but he's also a rogue; and Higginson saw his way to
+make excellent capital of him in both capacities--first use him as a
+catspaw, and then blackmail him.'
+
+[Illustration: HAROLD, YOUR WIFE HAS BESTED ME.]
+
+On the steps of the police-court, as we emerged triumphant, Lord
+Southminster met us--still radiant as ever. He seemed wholly unaware of
+the depths of his iniquity: a fresh dose of brandy had restored his
+composure. 'Look heah,' he said, 'Harold, your wife has bested me! Jolly
+good thing for you that you managed to get hold of such a clevah woman!
+If you hadn't, deah boy, you'd have found yourself in Queeah Street!
+But, I say, Lois-- I call yah Lois because you're my cousin now, yah
+know--you were backing the wrong man aftah all, as I told yah. For if
+you'd backed _me_, all this wouldn't have come out; you'd have got the
+tin and been a countess as well, aftah the governah's dead and gone,
+don't yah see. You'd have landed the double event. So you'd have pulled
+off a bettah thing for yourself in the end, as I said, if you'd laid
+your bottom dollah on me for winnah!'
+
+Higginson is now doing fourteen years at Portland; Harold and I are
+happy in the sweetest place in Gloucestershire; and Lord Southminster,
+blissfully unaware of the contempt with which the rest of the world
+regards him, is shooting big game among his 'boys' in South Africa.
+Indeed, he bears so little malice that he sent us a present of a trophy
+of horns for our hall last winter.
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+THE WINCHESTER EDITION OF THE NOVELS OF JANE AUSTEN
+
+
+10 Vols. Demy 8vo, Cloth, 5s. net each Vol.
+
+     The perfection of the edition rests entirely on the efforts of
+     printer, paper-maker, and binder, Messrs. T. and A. CONSTABLE of
+     Edinburgh being responsible for the typography, while Mr. LAURENCE
+     HOUSMAN has designed the cover.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_SPECTATOR_.--'The Winchester Edition has special claims to gratitude
+through the delightful quality of its print and paper. The print is of a
+generous design, and very black and clear, and the paper, while
+untransparent, not so heavy but that the book can be held comfortably in
+one hand. Altogether this promises to be one of the most delightful
+reprints ever given to the public.'
+
+_ATHEN�UM_.--'An exceedingly handsome edition.... This is decidedly a
+cheap edition as well as an ornamental one.'
+
+_WESTMINSTER GAZETTE_.--'Mr. Grant Richards is to be congratulated on
+the charming edition of Miss Austen's Novels, which starts with _Sense
+and Sensibility_ in two volumes. Print, paper, and binding (green and
+gold, with a charming design) are all that the most fastidious could
+desire. An edition of this kind is really wanted, and comes at a moment
+when there is a natural inclination to turn back to the pages of this
+delightful writer. The younger generation is supposed not to read Miss
+Austen, which, if true, is hardly creditable to its education and good
+taste. But latterly there have been signs of a re-discovery, which will
+be stimulated by the issue of these beautiful volumes.'
+
+
+
+
+'_Most useful companions to the traveller._'--PUNCH.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+GRANT ALLEN'S HISTORICAL GUIDES
+
+
+Fcap. 8vo (Pocket Size), Limp Cloth, Round Corners, 3s. 6d. net each
+
+
+_VOLUMES NOW READY._
+
+  PARIS.
+  CITIES OF BELGIUM (Bruges, Ghent, Brussels, Antwerp).
+  VENICE.
+  FLORENCE.
+
+
+_VOLUMES IN PREPARATION._
+
+  MUNICH.
+  CITIES OF NORTH ITALY (Milan, Verona, Padua, Bologna, Ravenna).
+  DRESDEN (with Nuremberg, etc).
+  ROME, Pagan and Christian.
+  CITIES OF NORTHERN FRANCE (Rouen, Amiens, Blois, Tours, Orleans).
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Some Opinions of the Press.
+
+_THE TIMES_.--'Such good work in the way of showing students the right
+manner of approaching the history of a great city.... The execution of
+the little volumes is, on the whole, admirable.... These useful little
+volumes.'
+
+_THE GUARDIAN_.--From the point of view of really intelligent
+sight-seeing, the two little volumes that have already appeared are
+better than anything that we yet have; and if the holiday-maker will
+only take them with him to Paris or Florence, he will probably feel that
+he has learnt more of the real city than in all his former visits.
+
+_THE SPECTATOR_.--'A visitor to Florence could hardly, we imagine, do
+better than provide himself with this volume. A great amount of
+matter--and good matter, too--is compressed into a small space, for the
+book is light, and such as can go into a pocket of moderate capacity.
+Mr. Grant Allen not only guides his reader's judgment, but disposes of
+his time for him; he must not only not do much at once, but must arrange
+his sight-seeing in an economical and intelligent way.'
+
+_MORNING POST_.--'That much-abused class of people, the tourists, have
+often been taunted with their ignorance and want of culture, and the
+perfunctory manner in which they hurry through and "do" the art
+galleries of Europe. There is a large amount of truth, no doubt, in the
+charge, but they might very well retort on their critics that no one had
+come forward to meet their wants, or to assist in dispelling their
+ignorance. No doubt there are guide-books, very excellent ones in their
+way, but on all matters of art very little better than mere indices;
+something fuller was required to enable the average man intelligently to
+appreciate the treasures submitted to his views. Mr. Grant Allen has
+undertaken to meet their wants, and offers these handbooks to the public
+at a price which ought to be within the reach of every one who can
+afford to travel at all. The idea is a good one, and should ensure the
+success which Mr. Allen deserves.'
+
+GRANT RICHARDS, 9 HENRIETTA ST., COVENT GARDEN, W.C.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Cayley's Adventures, by Grant Allen
+
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Cayley's Adventures, by Grant Allen
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Cayley's Adventures
+
+Author: Grant Allen
+
+Illustrator: Gordon Browne
+
+Release Date: January 15, 2010 [EBook #30970]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from
+scanned images of public domain material from the Google
+Print project.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 487px;">
+<img src="images/ill_001.jpg" width="487" height="700" alt="Book Cover" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>RECENT FICTION</h2>
+
+<hr style="width: 25%;" />
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">A. Conan Doyle</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">A Duet. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Grant Allen</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">An African Millionaire. 6s.</p>
+<p class="center">Linnet. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Frederic Breton</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">True Heart. 6s.</p>
+<p class="center">'God Save England!' 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">M. P. Shiel</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">Contraband of War. 6s.</p>
+<p class="center">The Yellow Danger. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Grammont Hamilton</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">The Mayfair Marriage. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Haldane MacFall</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">The Wooings of Jezebel Pettyfer. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">F. C. Constable</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">Aunt Judith's Island. 6s.</p>
+<p class="center">Morgan Hailsham. 6s.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Frank Norris</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">Shanghaied. 3s. 6d.</p>
+
+<h3>By <span class="smcap">Marie Connor Leighton</span> and <span class="smcap">Robert Leighton</span>.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">Convict 99. 3s. 6d.</p>
+<p class="center">Michael Dred, Detective. 3s. 6d.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+<h3>London: <span class="smcap">Grant Richards</span>, 1899</h3>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_002" id="ILL_002"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_002.jpg" width="700" height="372" alt="ALL AGOG TO TEACH THE HIGHER MATHEMATICS.&mdash;See page 142." title="" />
+<span class="caption">ALL AGOG TO TEACH THE HIGHER MATHEMATICS.&mdash;See page 142.</span>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h1>MISS CAYLEY'S</h1>
+
+<h1>ADVENTURES</h1>
+
+<h3>BY</h3>
+
+<h2>GRANT ALLEN</h2>
+
+<h3>WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY GORDON BROWNE</h3>
+
+<h4>London</h4>
+
+<h4>GRANT RICHARDS</h4>
+
+<h4>9 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.</h4>
+
+<h4>1899</h4>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Printed April 1899</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Reprinted July 1899</i></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align='right'>I</td><td align='left'><a href="#I"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Cantankerous Old Lady</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>II</td><td align='left'><a href="#II"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Supercilious <i>Attach&eacute;</i></span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>III</td><td align='left'><a href="#III"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Inquisitive American</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>IV</td><td align='left'><a href="#IV"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Amateur Commission Agent</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>V</td><td align='left'><a href="#V"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Impromptu Mountaineer</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>VI</td><td align='left'><a href="#VI"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Urbane Old Gentleman</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>VII</td><td align='left'><a href="#VII"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Unobtrusive Oasis</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>VIII</td><td align='left'><a href="#VIII"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Pea-Green Patrician</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>IX</td><td align='left'><a href="#IX"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Magnificent Maharajah</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>X</td><td align='left'><a href="#X"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Cross-Eyed Q.C.</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>XI</td><td align='left'><a href="#XI"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Oriental Attendant</span></b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'>XII</td><td align='left'><a href="#XII"><b><span class="smcap">The Adventure of the Unprofessional Detective</span></b></a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_002"><b>All agog to teach the higher mathematics</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_003"><b>I am going out, simply in search of adventure</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_004"><b>Oui, Madame; Merci Beaucoup, Madame</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_005"><b>Excuse me, I said, but I think I can see a way out of your difficulty</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_006"><b>A most urbane and obliging Continental gentleman</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_007"><b>Persons of Miladi's temperament are always young</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_008"><b>That succeeds? the shabby-looking man muttered</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_009"><b>I put her hand back firmly</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_010"><b>He cast a hasty glance at us</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_011"><b>Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_012"><b>Circumstances alter cases, he murmured</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_013"><b>Miss Cayley, he said, you are playing with me</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_014"><b>I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_015"><b>I was going to oppose you and Harold</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_016"><b>He kept close at my heels</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_017"><b>I was pulled up short by a mounted policeman</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_018"><b>Seems I didn't make much of a job of it</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_019"><b>Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_020"><b>How far ahead the first man?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_021"><b>I am here behind you, Herr Lieutenant</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_022"><b>Let them boom or bust on it</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_023"><b>His open admiration was getting quite embarrassing</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_024"><b>Minute inspection</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_025"><b>I felt a perfect little hypocrite</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_026"><b>She invited Elsie and myself to stop with her</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_027"><b>The Count</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_028"><b>I thought it kinder to him to remove it altogether</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_029"><b>Inch by inch he retreated</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_030"><b>Never leave a house to the servants, my dear!</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_031"><b>I may stay, mayn't I?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_032"><b>I advanced on my hands and knees to the edge of the precipice</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_033"><b>I gripped the rope and let myself down</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_034"><b>I rolled and slid down</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_036"><b>There's enterprise for you</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_037"><b>Painting the sign-board</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_038"><b>The urbane old gentleman</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_039"><b>He went on dictating for just an hour</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_040"><b>He bowed to us each separately</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_041"><b>I waited breathless</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_042"><b>What, you here! he cried</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_043"><b>He read them, cruel man, before my very eyes</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_044"><b>'Tis Doctor Macloghlen, he answered</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_045"><b>Too much Nile</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_046"><b>Emphasis</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_047"><b>Riding a camel does not greatly differ from sea-sickness</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_048"><b>Her agitation was evident</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_049"><b>Crouching by the rocks sat our mysterious stranger</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_050"><b>An odd-looking young man</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_051"><b>He turned to me with an inane smile</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_052"><b>Nothing seemed to put the man down</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_053"><b>Yah don't catch me going so fah from Newmarket</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_054"><b>Wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_055"><b>Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong fellah</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_056"><b>I am the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_057"><b>Who's your black friend?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_058"><b>A tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_059"><b>It went off unexpectedly</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_060"><b>I saw him now the Oriental despot</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_061"><b>It's I who am the winnah!</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_062"><b>He wrote, I expect you to come back to England and marry me</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_063"><b>It was endlessly wearisome</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_064"><b>The cross-eyed Q.C. begged him to be very careful</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_065"><b>I was a grotesque failure</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_066"><b>The jury smiled</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_067"><b>The question requires no answer, he said</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_068"><b>I reeled where I sat</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_069"><b>The messenger entered</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_070"><b>He took a long, careless stare at me</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_071"><b>I beckoned a porter</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_072"><b>You can't get out here, he said, crustily</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_073"><b>We told our tale</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_074"><b>I have found a clue</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_075"><b>I've held the fort by main force</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_076"><b>Never! he answered. Never!</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_077"><b>We shall have him in our power</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_078"><b>Victory!</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_079"><b>You wished to see me, sir?</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_080"><b>Well, this is a fair knock-out, he ejaculated</b></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#ILL_081"><b>Harold, your wife has bested me</b></a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="I" id="I"></a>I</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD LADY</h3>
+
+<p>On the day when I found myself with twopence in my pocket, I naturally
+made up my mind to go round the world.</p>
+
+<p>It was my stepfather's death that drove me to it. I had never seen my
+stepfather. Indeed, I never even thought of him as anything more than
+Colonel Watts-Morgan. I owed him nothing, except my poverty. He married
+my dear mother when I was a girl at school in Switzerland; and he
+proceeded to spend her little fortune, left at her sole disposal by my
+father's will, in paying his gambling debts. After that, he carried my
+dear mother off to Burma; and when he and the climate between them had
+succeeded in killing her, he made up for his appropriations at the
+cheapest rate by allowing me just enough to send me to Girton. So, when
+the Colonel died, in the year I was leaving college, I did not think it
+necessary to go into mourning for him. Especially as he chose the
+precise moment when my allowance was due, and bequeathed me nothing but
+his consolidated liabilities.</p>
+
+<p>'Of course you will teach,' said Elsie Petheridge, when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span> I explained my
+affairs to her. 'There is a good demand just now for high-school
+teachers.'</p>
+
+<p>I looked at her, aghast. '<i>Teach!</i> Elsie,' I cried. (I had come up to
+town to settle her in at her unfurnished lodgings.) 'Did you say
+<i>teach</i>? That's just like you dear good schoolmistresses! You go to
+Cambridge, and get examined till the heart and life have been examined
+out of you; then you say to yourselves at the end of it all, "Let me
+see; what am I good for now? I'm just about fit to go away and examine
+other people!" That's what our Principal would call "a vicious
+circle"&mdash;if one could ever admit there was anything vicious at all about
+<i>you</i>, dear. No, Elsie, I do <i>not</i> propose to teach. Nature did not cut
+me out for a high-school teacher. I couldn't swallow a poker if I tried
+for weeks. Pokers don't agree with me. Between ourselves, I am a bit of
+a rebel.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are, Brownie,' she answered, pausing in her papering, with her
+sleeves rolled up&mdash;they called me 'Brownie,' partly because of my dark
+complexion, but partly because they could never understand me. 'We all
+knew that long ago.'</p>
+
+<p>I laid down the paste-brush and mused.</p>
+
+<p>'Do you remember, Elsie,' I said, staring hard at the paper-board,' when
+I first went to Girton, how all you girls wore your hair quite straight,
+in neat smooth coils, plaited up at the back about the size of a
+pancake; and how of a sudden I burst in upon you, like a tropical
+hurricane, and demoralised you; and how, after three days of me, some of
+the dear innocents began with awe to cut themselves artless fringes,
+while others went out in fear and trembling and surreptitiously
+purchased a pair of curling-tongs? I was a bomb-shell in your midst in
+those days; why, you yourself were almost afraid at first to speak to
+me.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'You see, you had a bicycle,' Elsie put in, smoothing the half-papered
+wall; 'and in those days, of course, ladies didn't bicycle. You must
+admit, Brownie, dear, it <i>was</i> a startling innovation. You terrified us
+so. And yet, after all, there isn't much harm in you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I hope not,' I said devoutly. 'I was before my time, that was all; at
+present, even a curate's wife may blamelessly bicycle.'</p>
+
+<p>'But if you don't teach,' Elsie went on, gazing at me with those
+wondering big blue eyes of hers, 'whatever will you do, Brownie?' Her
+horizon was bounded by the scholastic circle.</p>
+
+<p>'I haven't the faintest idea,' I answered, continuing to paste. 'Only,
+as I can't trespass upon your elegant hospitality for life, whatever I
+mean to do, I must begin doing this morning, when we've finished the
+papering. I couldn't teach' (teaching, like mauve, is the refuge of the
+incompetent); 'and I don't, if possible, want to sell bonnets.'</p>
+
+<p>'As a milliner's girl?' Elsie asked, with a face of red horror.</p>
+
+<p>'As a milliner's girl; why not? 'Tis an honest calling. Earls' daughters
+do it now. But you needn't look so shocked. I tell you, just at present,
+I am not contemplating it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then what <i>do</i> you contemplate?'</p>
+
+<p>I paused and reflected. 'I am here in London,' I answered, gazing rapt
+at the ceiling; 'London, whose streets are paved with gold&mdash;though it
+<i>looks</i> at first sight like muddy flagstones; London, the greatest and
+richest city in the world, where an adventurous soul ought surely to
+find some loophole for an adventure. (That piece is hung crooked, dear;
+we shall have to take it down again.) I devise a Plan, therefore. I
+submit myself to fate; or, if you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> prefer it, I leave my future in the
+hands of Providence. I shall stroll out this morning, as soon as I've
+"cleaned myself," and embrace the first stray enterprise that offers.
+Our Bagdad teems with enchanted carpets. Let one but float my way, and,
+hi, presto, I seize it. I go where glory or a modest competence waits
+me. I snatch at the first offer, the first hint of an opening.'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie stared at me, more aghast and more puzzled than ever. 'But, how?'
+she asked. 'Where? When? You <i>are</i> so strange! What will you do to find
+one?'</p>
+
+<p>'Put on my hat and walk out,' I answered. 'Nothing could be simpler.
+This city bursts with enterprises and surprises. Strangers from east and
+west hurry through it in all directions. Omnibuses traverse it from end
+to end&mdash;even, I am told, to Islington and Putney; within, folk sit face
+to face who never saw one another before in their lives, and who may
+never see one another again, or, on the contrary, may pass the rest of
+their days together.'</p>
+
+<p>I had a lovely harangue all pat in my head, in much the same strain, on
+the infinite possibilities of entertaining angels unawares, in cabs, on
+the Underground, in the a&euml;rated bread shops; but Elsie's widening eyes
+of horror pulled me up short like a hansom in Piccadilly when the
+inexorable upturned hand of the policeman checks it. 'Oh, Brownie,' she
+cried, drawing back, 'you <i>don't</i> mean to tell me you're going to ask
+the first young man you meet in an omnibus to marry you?'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_003" id="ILL_003"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_003.jpg" width="500" height="453" alt="I AM GOING OUT, SIMPLY IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I AM GOING OUT, SIMPLY IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I shrieked with laughter, 'Elsie,' I cried, kissing her dear yellow
+little head, 'you are <i>impayable</i>. You never will learn what I mean. You
+don't understand the language. No, no; I am going out, simply in search
+of adventure. What adventure may come, I have not at this moment the
+faintest conception. The fun lies in the search, the uncertainty, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>
+toss-up of it. What is the good of being penniless&mdash;with the trifling
+exception of twopence&mdash;unless you are prepared to accept your position
+in the spirit of a masked ball at Covent Garden?'</p>
+
+<p>'I have never been to one,' Elsie put in.</p>
+
+<p>'Gracious heavens, neither have I! What on earth do you take me for? But
+I mean to see where fate will lead me.'</p>
+
+<p>'I may go with you?' Elsie pleaded.</p>
+
+<p>'Certainly <i>not</i>, my child,' I answered&mdash;she was three<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> years older than
+I, so I had the right to patronise her. 'That would spoil all. Your dear
+little face would be quite enough to scare away a timid adventure.' She
+knew what I meant. It was gentle and pensive, but it lacked initiative.</p>
+
+<p>So, when we had finished that wall, I popped on my best hat, and popped
+out by myself into Kensington Gardens.</p>
+
+<p>I am told I ought to have been terribly alarmed at the straits in which
+I found myself&mdash;a girl of twenty-one, alone in the world, and only
+twopence short of penniless, without a friend to protect, a relation to
+counsel her. (I don't count Aunt Susan, who lurked in ladylike indigence
+at Blackheath, and whose counsel, like her tracts, was given away too
+profusely to everybody to allow of one's placing any very high value
+upon it.) But, as a matter of fact, I must admit I was not in the least
+alarmed. Nature had endowed me with a profusion of crisp black hair, and
+plenty of high spirits. If my eyes had been like Elsie's&mdash;that liquid
+blue which looks out upon life with mingled pity and amazement&mdash;I might
+have felt as a girl ought to feel under such conditions; but having
+large dark eyes, with a bit of a twinkle in them, and being as well able
+to pilot a bicycle as any girl of my acquaintance, I have inherited or
+acquired an outlook on the world which distinctly leans rather towards
+cheeriness than despondency. I croak with difficulty. So I accepted my
+plight as an amusing experience, affording full scope for the congenial
+exercise of courage and ingenuity.</p>
+
+<p>How boundless are the opportunities of Kensington Gardens&mdash;the Round
+Pond, the winding Serpentine, the mysterious seclusion of the Dutch
+brick Palace! Genii swarm there. One jostles possibilities. It is a land
+of romance, bounded on the north by the Abyss of Bayswater, and on the
+south by the Amphitheatre of the Albert Hall. But for a centre of
+adventure I choose the Long Walk; it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> beckoned me somewhat as the
+North-West Passage beckoned my seafaring ancestors&mdash;the buccaneering
+mariners of Elizabethan Devon. I sat down on a chair at the foot of an
+old elm with a poetic hollow, prosaically filled by a utilitarian plate
+of galvanised iron. Two ancient ladies were seated on the other side
+already&mdash;very grand-looking dames, with the haughty and exclusive
+ugliness of the English aristocracy in its later stages. For frank
+hideousness, commend me to the noble dowager. They were talking
+confidentially as I sat down; the trifling episode of my approach did
+not suffice to stem the full stream of their conversation. The great
+ignore the intrusion of their inferiors.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_004" id="ILL_004"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_004.jpg" width="500" height="387" alt="OUI, MADAME; MERCI BEAUCOUP, MADAME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">OUI, MADAME; MERCI BEAUCOUP, MADAME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Yes, it's a terrible nuisance,' the eldest and ugliest of the two
+observed&mdash;she was a high-born lady, with a distinctly cantankerous cast
+of countenance. She had a Roman nose, and her skin was wrinkled like a
+wilted apple; she wore coffee-coloured point-lace in her bonnet, with a
+complexion to match. 'But what could I do, my dear? I simply <i>couldn't</i>
+put up with such insolence. So I looked her straight back in the
+face&mdash;oh, she quailed, I can tell you; and I said to her, in my iciest
+voice&mdash;you know how icy I can be when occasion demands it'&mdash;the second
+old lady nodded an ungrudging assent, as if perfectly prepared to admit
+her friend's rare gift of iciness&mdash;'I said to her, "C&eacute;lestine, you can
+take your month's wages, and half an hour to get out of this house." And
+she dropped me a deep reverence, and she answered: "<i>Oui, madame; merci
+beaucoup, madame; je ne desire pas mieux, madame.</i>" And out she
+flounced. So there was the end of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Still, you go to Schlangenbad on Monday?'</p>
+
+<p>'That's the point. On Monday. If it weren't for the journey, I should
+have been glad enough to be rid of the minx. I'm glad as it is, indeed;
+for a more insolent, upstanding,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> independent, answer-you-back-again
+young woman, with a sneer of her own, <i>I</i> never saw, Amelia&mdash;but I
+<i>must</i> get to Schlangenbad. Now, there the difficulty comes in. On the
+one hand, if I engage a maid in London, I have the choice of two evils.
+Either I must take a trapesing English girl&mdash;and I know by experience
+that an English girl on the Continent is a vast deal worse than no maid
+at all: <i>you</i> have to wait upon <i>her</i>, instead of her waiting upon you;
+she gets seasick on the crossing, and when she reaches France or
+Germany, she hates the meals, and she detests the hotel<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> servants, and
+she can't speak the language, so that she's always calling you in to
+interpret for her in her private differences with the <i>fille-de-chambre</i>
+and the landlord; or else I must pick up a French maid in London, and I
+know equally by experience that the French maids one engages in London
+are invariably dishonest&mdash;more dishonest than the rest even; they've
+come here because they have no character to speak of elsewhere, and they
+think you aren't likely to write and enquire of their last mistress in
+Toulouse or St. Petersburg. Then, again, on the other hand, I can't wait
+to get a Gretchen, an unsophisticated little Gretchen of the Taunus at
+Schlangenbad&mdash; I suppose there <i>are</i> unsophisticated girls in Germany
+still&mdash;made in Germany&mdash;they don't make 'em any longer in England, I'm
+sure&mdash;like everything else, the trade in rustic innocence has been
+driven from the country. I can't wait to get a Gretchen, as I should
+like to do, of course, because I simply <i>daren't</i> undertake to cross the
+Channel alone and go all that long journey by Ostend or Calais, Brussels
+and Cologne, to Schlangenbad.'</p>
+
+<p>'You could get a temporary maid,' her friend suggested, in a lull of the
+tornado.</p>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady flared up. 'Yes, and have my jewel-case
+stolen! Or find she was an English girl without one word of German. Or
+nurse her on the boat when I want to give my undivided attention to my
+own misfortunes. No, Amelia, I call it positively unkind of you to
+suggest such a thing. You're <i>so</i> unsympathetic! I put my foot down
+there. I will <i>not</i> take any temporary person.'</p>
+
+<p>I saw my chance. This was a delightful idea. Why not start for
+Schlangenbad with the Cantankerous Old Lady?</p>
+
+<p>Of course, I had not the slightest intention of taking a lady's-maid's
+place for a permanency. Nor even, if it comes<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> to that, as a passing
+expedient. But <i>if</i> I wanted to go round the world, how could I do better
+than set out by the Rhine country? The Rhine leads you on to the Danube,
+the Danube to the Black Sea, the Black Sea to Asia; and so, by way of
+India, China, and Japan, you reach the Pacific and San Francisco; whence
+one returns quite easily by New York and the White Star Liners. I began
+to feel like a globe-trotter already; the Cantankerous Old Lady was the
+thin end of the wedge&mdash;the first rung of the ladder! I proceeded to put
+my foot on it.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_005" id="ILL_005"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_005.jpg" width="500" height="404" alt="EXCUSE ME, I SAID, BUT I THINK I SEE A WAY OUT OF YOUR DIFFICULTY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">EXCUSE ME, I SAID, BUT I THINK I SEE A WAY OUT OF YOUR DIFFICULTY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I leaned around the corner of the tree and spoke.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> 'Excuse me,' I said,
+in my suavest voice, 'but I think I see a way out of your difficulty.'</p>
+
+<p>My first impression was that the Cantankerous Old Lady would go off in a
+fit of apoplexy. She grew purple in the face with indignation and
+astonishment, that a casual outsider should venture to address her; so
+much so, indeed, that for a second I almost regretted my well-meant
+interposition. Then she scanned me up and down, as if I were a girl in a
+mantle shop, and she contemplated buying either me or the mantle. At
+last, catching my eye, she thought better of it, and burst out laughing.</p>
+
+<p>'What do you mean by this eavesdropping?' she asked.</p>
+
+<p>I flushed up in turn. 'This is a public place,' I replied, with dignity;
+'and you spoke in a tone which was hardly designed for the strictest
+privacy. If you don't wish to be overheard, you oughtn't to shout.
+Besides, I desired to do you a service.'</p>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady regarded me once more from head to foot. I did
+not quail. Then she turned to her companion. 'The girl has spirit,' she
+remarked, in an encouraging tone, as if she were discussing some absent
+person. 'Upon my word, Amelia, I rather like the look of her. Well, my
+good woman, what do you want to suggest to me?'</p>
+
+<p>'Merely this,' I replied, bridling up and crushing her. 'I am a Girton
+girl, an officer's daughter, no more a good woman than most others of my
+class; and I have nothing in particular to do for the moment. I don't
+object to going to Schlangenbad. I would convoy you over, as companion,
+or lady-help, or anything else you choose to call it; I would remain
+with you there for a week, till you could arrange with your Gretchen,
+presumably unsophisticated; and then I would leave you. Salary is
+unimportant; my fare suffices.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> I accept the chance as a cheap
+opportunity of attaining Schlangenbad.'</p>
+
+<p>The yellow-faced old lady put up her long-handled tortoise-shell
+eyeglasses and inspected me all over again. 'Well, I declare,' she
+murmured. 'What are girls coming to, I wonder? Girton, you say; Girton!
+That place at Cambridge! You speak Greek, of course; but how about
+German?'</p>
+
+<p>'Like a native,' I answered, with cheerful promptitude. 'I was at school
+in Canton Berne; it is a mother tongue to me.'</p>
+
+<p>'No, no,' the old lady went on, fixing her keen small eyes on my mouth.
+'Those little lips could never frame themselves to "schlecht" or
+"wundersch&ouml;n"; they were not cut out for it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Pardon me,' I answered, in German. 'What I say, that I mean. The
+never-to-be-forgotten music of the Fatherland's-speech has on my infant
+ear from the first-beginning impressed itself.'</p>
+
+<p>The old lady laughed aloud.</p>
+
+<p>'Don't jabber it to me, child,' she cried. 'I hate the lingo. It's the
+one tongue on earth that even a pretty girl's lips fail to render
+attractive. You yourself make faces over it. What's your name, young
+woman?'</p>
+
+<p>'Lois Cayley.'</p>
+
+<p>'Lois! <i>What</i> a name! I never heard of any Lois in my life before,
+except Timothy's grandmother. <i>You're</i> not anybody's grandmother, are
+you?'</p>
+
+<p>'Not to my knowledge,' I answered, gravely.</p>
+
+<p>She burst out laughing again.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, you'll do, I think,' she said, catching my arm. 'That big mill
+down yonder hasn't ground the originality altogether out of you. I adore
+originality. It was clever<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> of you to catch at the suggestion of this
+arrangement. Lois Cayley, you say; any relation of a madcap Captain
+Cayley whom I used once to know, in the Forty-second Highlanders?'</p>
+
+<p>'His daughter,' I answered, flushing. For I was proud of my father.</p>
+
+<p>'Ha! I remember; he died, poor fellow; he was a good soldier&mdash;and
+his'&mdash;I felt she was going to say 'his fool of a widow,' but a glance
+from me quelled her; 'his widow went and married that good-looking
+scapegrace, Jack Watts-Morgan. Never marry a man, my dear, with a
+double-barrelled name and no visible means of subsistence; above all, if
+he's generally known by a nickname. So you're poor Tom Cayley's
+daughter, are you? Well, well, we can settle this little matter between
+us. Mind, I'm a person who always expects to have my own way. If you
+come with <i>me</i> to Schlangenbad, you must do as I tell you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I <i>think</i> I could manage it&mdash;for a week,' I answered, demurely.</p>
+
+<p>She smiled at my audacity. We passed on to terms. They were quite
+satisfactory. She wanted no references. 'Do I look like a woman who
+cares about a reference? What are called <i>characters</i> are usually essays
+in how not to say it. You take my fancy; that's the point! And poor Tom
+Cayley! But, mind, I will <i>not</i> be contradicted.'</p>
+
+<p>'I will not contradict your wildest misstatement,' I answered, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>'<i>And</i> your name and address?' I asked, after we had settled
+preliminaries.</p>
+
+<p>A faint red spot rose quaintly in the centre of the Cantankerous Old
+Lady's sallow cheek. 'My dear,' she murmured, 'my name is the one thing
+on earth I'm really ashamed of. My parents chose to inflict upon me the
+most<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> odious label that human ingenuity ever devised for a Christian
+soul; and I've not had courage enough to burst out and change it.'</p>
+
+<p>A gleam of intuition flashed across me, 'You don't mean to say,' I
+exclaimed, 'that you're called Georgina?'</p>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady gripped my arm hard. 'What an unusually
+intelligent girl!' she broke in. 'How on earth did you guess? It <i>is</i>
+Georgina.'</p>
+
+<p>'Fellow-feeling,' I answered. 'So is mine, Georgina Lois. But as I quite
+agree with you as to the atrocity of such conduct, I have suppressed the
+Georgina. It ought to be made penal to send innocent girls into the
+world so burdened.'</p>
+
+<p>'My opinion to a T! You are really an exceptionally sensible young
+woman. There's my name and address; I start on Monday.'</p>
+
+<p>I glanced at her card. The very copperplate was noisy. 'Lady Georgina
+Fawley, 49 Fortescue Crescent, W.'</p>
+
+<p>It had taken us twenty minutes to arrange our protocols. As I walked
+off, well pleased, Lady Georgina's friend ran after me quickly.</p>
+
+<p>'You must take care,' she said, in a warning voice. 'You've caught a
+Tartar.'</p>
+
+<p>'So I suspect,' I answered. 'But a week in Tartary will be at least an
+experience.'</p>
+
+<p>'She has an awful temper.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's nothing. So have I. Appalling, I assure you. And if it comes to
+blows, I'm bigger and younger and stronger than she is.'</p>
+
+<p>'Well, I wish you well out of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Thank you. It is kind of you to give me this warning. But I think I can
+take care of myself. I come, you see, of a military family.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I nodded my thanks, and strolled back to Elsie's. Dear little Elsie was
+in transports of surprise when I related my adventure.</p>
+
+<p>'Will you really go? And what will you do, my dear, when you get there?'</p>
+
+<p>'I haven't a notion,' I answered; 'that's where the fun comes in. But,
+anyhow, I shall have got there.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, Brownie, you might starve!'</p>
+
+<p>'And I might starve in London. In either place, I have only two hands
+and one head to help me.'</p>
+
+<p>'But, then, here you are among friends. You might stop with me for
+ever.'</p>
+
+<p>I kissed her fluffy forehead. 'You good, generous little Elsie,' I
+cried; 'I won't stop here one moment after I have finished the painting
+and papering. I came here to help you. I couldn't go on eating your
+hard-earned bread and doing nothing. I know how sweet you are; but the
+last thing I want is to add to your burdens. Now let us roll up our
+sleeves again and hurry on with the dado.'</p>
+
+<p>'But, Brownie, you'll want to be getting your own things ready.
+Remember, you're off to Germany on Monday.'</p>
+
+<p>I shrugged my shoulders. 'Tis a foreign trick I picked up in
+Switzerland. 'What have I got to get ready?' I asked. 'I can't go out
+and buy a complete summer outfit in Bond Street for twopence. Now, don't
+look at me like that: be practical, Elsie, and let me help you paint the
+dado.' For unless I helped her, poor Elsie could never have finished it
+herself. I cut out half her clothes for her; her own ideas were almost
+entirely limited to differential calculus. And cutting out a blouse by
+differential calculus is weary, uphill work for a high-school teacher.</p>
+
+<p>By Monday I had papered and furnished the rooms, and was ready to start
+on my voyage of exploration. I met<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> the Cantankerous Old Lady at Charing
+Cross, by appointment, and proceeded to take charge of her luggage and
+tickets.</p>
+
+<p>Oh my, how fussy she was! 'You will drop that basket! I hope you have
+got through tickets, <i>vi&acirc;</i> Malines, <i>not</i> by Brussels&mdash; I won't go by
+Brussels. You have to change there. Now, mind you notice how much the
+luggage weighs in English pounds, and make the man at the office give
+you a note of it to check those horrid Belgian porters. They'll charge
+you for double the weight, unless you reduce it at once to kilogrammes.
+<i>I</i> know their ways. Foreigners have no consciences. They just go to the
+priest and confess, you know, and wipe it all out, and start fresh again
+on a career of crime next morning. I'm sure I don't know why I <i>ever</i> go
+abroad. The only country in the world fit to live in is England. No
+mosquitoes, no passports, no&mdash;goodness gracious, child, don't let that
+odious man bang about my hat-box! Have you no immortal soul, porter,
+that you crush other people's property as if it was blackbeetles? No, I
+will not let you take this, Lois; this is my jewel-box&mdash;it contains all
+that remains of the Fawley family jewels. I positively decline to appear
+at Schlangenbad without a diamond to my back. This never leaves my
+hands. It's hard enough nowadays to keep body and skirt together. <i>Have</i>
+you secured that <i>coup&eacute;</i> at Ostend?'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 404px;"><a name="ILL_006" id="ILL_006"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_006.jpg" width="404" height="500" alt="A MOST URBANE AND OBLIGING CONTINENTAL GENTLEMAN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">A MOST URBANE AND OBLIGING CONTINENTAL GENTLEMAN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We got into our first-class carriage. It was clean and comfortable; but
+the Cantankerous Old Lady made the porter mop the floor, and fidgeted
+and worried till we slid out of the station. Fortunately, the only other
+occupant of the compartment was a most urbane and obliging Continental
+gentleman&mdash;I say Continental, because I couldn't quite make out whether
+he was French, German, or Austrian&mdash;who was anxious in every way to meet
+Lady Georgina's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> wishes. Did madame desire to have the window open? Oh,
+certainly, with pleasure; the day was so sultry. Closed a little more?
+<i>Parfaitement</i>, there <i>was</i> a current of air, <i>il faut l'admettre</i>.
+Madame would prefer the corner? No? Then perhaps she would like this
+valise for a footstool? <i>Permettez</i>&mdash;just thus. A cold draught runs so
+often along the floor in railway carriages. This is Kent that we
+traverse; ah, the garden of England! As a diplomat, he knew every nook
+of Europe, and he echoed the <i>mot</i> he had accidentally heard drop from
+madame's lips on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> the platform: no country in the world so delightful as
+England!</p>
+
+<p>'Monsieur is attached to the Embassy in London?' Lady Georgina inquired,
+growing affable.</p>
+
+<p>He twirled his grey moustache: a waxed moustache of great distinction.
+'No, madame; I have quitted the diplomatic service; I inhabit London now
+<i>pour mon agr&eacute;ment</i>. Some of my compatriots call it <i>triste</i>; for me, I
+find it the most fascinating capital in Europe. What gaiety! What
+movement! What poetry! What mystery!'</p>
+
+<p>'If mystery means fog, it challenges the world,' I interposed.</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me with fixed eyes. 'Yes, mademoiselle,' he answered, in
+quite a different and markedly chilly voice. 'Whatever your great
+country attempts&mdash;were it only a fog&mdash;it achieves consummately.'</p>
+
+<p>I have quick intuitions. I felt the foreign gentleman took an
+instinctive dislike to me.</p>
+
+<p>To make up for it, he talked much, and with animation, to Lady Georgina.
+They ferreted out friends in common, and were as much surprised at it as
+people always are at that inevitable experience.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah yes, madame, I recollect him well in Vienna. I was there at the
+time, attached to our Legation. He was a charming man; you read his
+masterly paper on the Central Problem of the Dual Empire?'</p>
+
+<p>'You were in Vienna then!' the Cantankerous Old Lady mused back. 'Lois,
+my child, don't stare'&mdash;she had covenanted from the first to call me
+Lois, as my father's daughter, and I confess I preferred it to being
+Miss Cayley'd. 'We must surely have met. Dare I ask your name,
+monsieur?'</p>
+
+<p>I could see the foreign gentleman was delighted at this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> turn. He had
+played for it, and carried his point. He meant her to ask him. He had a
+card in his pocket, conveniently close; and he handed it across to her.
+She read it, and passed it on: 'M. le Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I remember your name well,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke in. 'I
+think you knew my husband, Sir Evelyn Fawley, and my father, Lord
+Kynaston.'</p>
+
+<p>The Count looked profoundly surprised and delighted. 'What! you are then
+Lady Georgina Fawley!' he cried, striking an attitude. 'Indeed, miladi,
+your admirable husband was one of the very first to exert his influence
+in my favour at Vienna. Do I recall him, <i>ce cher</i> Sir Evelyn? If I
+recall him! What a fortunate rencounter! I must have seen you some years
+ago at Vienna, miladi, though I had not then the great pleasure of
+making your acquaintance. But your face had impressed itself on my
+sub-conscious self!' (I did not learn till later that the esoteric
+doctrine of the sub-conscious self was Lady Georgina's favourite hobby.)
+'The moment chance led me to this carriage this morning, I said to
+myself, "That face, those features: so vivid, so striking: I have seen
+them somewhere. With what do I connect them in the recesses of my
+memory? A high-born family; genius; rank; the diplomatic service; some
+unnameable charm; some faint touch of eccentricity. Ha! I have it.
+Vienna, a carriage with footmen in red livery, a noble presence, a crowd
+of wits&mdash;poets, artists, politicians&mdash;pressing eagerly round the
+landau." That was my mental picture as I sat and confronted you: I
+understand it all now; this is Lady Georgina Fawley!'</p>
+
+<p>I thought the Cantankerous Old Lady, who was a shrewd person in her way,
+must surely see through this obvious patter; but I had under-estimated
+the average human capacity for swallowing flattery. Instead of
+dismissing his fulsome<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> nonsense with a contemptuous smile, Lady
+Georgina perked herself up with a conscious air of coquetry, and asked
+for more. 'Yes, they were delightful days in Vienna,' she said,
+simpering; 'I was young then, Count; I enjoyed life with a zest.'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_007" id="ILL_007"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_007.jpg" width="500" height="455" alt="PERSONS OF MILADI&#39;S TEMPERAMENT ARE ALWAYS YOUNG." title="" />
+<span class="caption">PERSONS OF MILADI&#39;S TEMPERAMENT ARE ALWAYS YOUNG.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Persons of miladi's temperament are always young,' the Count retorted,
+glibly, leaning forward and gazing at her. 'Growing old is a foolish
+habit of the stupid and the vacant. Men and women of <i>esprit</i> are never
+older. One learns as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> one goes on in life to admire, not the obvious
+beauty of mere youth and health'&mdash;he glanced across at me
+disdainfully&mdash;'but the profounder beauty of deep character in a
+face&mdash;that calm and serene beauty which is imprinted on the brow by
+experience of the emotions.'</p>
+
+<p>'I have had my moments,' Lady Georgina murmured, with her head on one
+side.</p>
+
+<p>'I believe it, miladi,' the Count answered, and ogled her.</p>
+
+<p>Thenceforward to Dover, they talked together with ceaseless animation.
+The Cantankerous Old Lady was capital company. She had a tang in her
+tongue, and in the course of ninety minutes she had flayed alive the
+greater part of London society, with keen wit and sprightliness. I
+laughed against my will at her ill-tempered sallies; they were too funny
+not to amuse, in spite of their vitriol. As for the Count, he was
+charmed. He talked well himself, too, and between them I almost forgot
+the time till we arrived at Dover.</p>
+
+<p>It was a very rough passage. The Count helped us to carry our nineteen
+hand-packages and four rugs on board; but I noticed that, fascinated as
+she was with him, Lady Georgina resisted his ingenious efforts to gain
+possession of her precious jewel-case as she descended the gangway. She
+clung to it like grim death, even in the chops of the Channel.
+Fortunately I am a good sailor, and when Lady Georgina's sallow cheeks
+began to grow pale, I was steady enough to supply her with her shawl and
+her smelling-bottle. She fidgeted and worried the whole way over. She
+<i>would</i> be treated like a vertebrate animal. Those horrid Belgians had
+no right to stick their deck-chairs just in front of her. The
+impertinence of the hussies with the bright red hair&mdash;a grocer's
+daughters, she felt sure&mdash;in venturing to come and sit on the same bench
+with <i>her</i>&mdash;the bench 'for ladies only,' under the lee of the funnel!
+'Ladies only,' indeed! Did<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> the baggages pretend they considered
+themselves ladies? Oh, that placid old gentleman in the episcopal
+gaiters was their father, was he? Well, a bishop should bring up his
+daughters better, having his children in subjection with all gravity.
+Instead of which&mdash;'Lois, my smelling-salts!' This was a beastly boat;
+such an odour of machinery; they had no decent boats nowadays; with all
+our boasted improvements, she could remember well when the cross-Channel
+service was much better conducted than it was at present. But <i>that</i> was
+before we had compulsory education. The working classes were driving
+trade out of the country, and the consequence was, we couldn't build a
+boat which didn't reek like an oil-shop. Even the sailors on board were
+French&mdash;jabbering idiots; not an honest British Jack-tar among the lot
+of them; though the stewards were English, and very inferior Cockney
+English at that, with their off-hand ways, and their School Board airs
+and graces. <i>She'd</i> School Board them if they were her servants; <i>she'd</i>
+show them the sort of respect that was due to people of birth and
+education. But the children of the lower classes never learnt their
+catechism nowadays; they were too much occupied with literatoor,
+jography, and free-'and drawrin'. Happily for my nerves, a good lurch to
+leeward put a stop for a while to the course of her thoughts on the
+present distresses.</p>
+
+<p>At Ostend the Count made a second gallant attempt to capture the
+jewel-case, which Lady Georgina automatically repulsed. She had a fixed
+habit, I believe, of sticking fast to that jewel-case; for she was too
+overpowered by the Count's urbanity, I feel sure, to suspect for a
+moment his honesty of purpose. But whenever she travelled, I fancy, she
+clung to her case as if her life depended upon it; it contained the
+whole of her valuable diamonds.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>We had twenty minutes for refreshments at Ostend, during which interval
+my old lady declared with warmth that I <i>must</i> look after her registered
+luggage; though, as it was booked through to Cologne, I could not even
+see it till we crossed the German frontier; for the Belgian <i>douaniers</i>
+seal up the van as soon as the through baggage for Germany is unloaded.
+To satisfy her, however, I went through the formality of pretending to
+inspect it, and rendered myself hateful to the head of the <i>douane</i> by
+asking various foolish and inept questions, on which Lady Georgina
+insisted. When I had finished this silly and uncongenial task&mdash;for I am
+not by nature fussy, and it is hard to assume fussiness as another
+person's proxy&mdash;I returned to our <i>coup&eacute;</i> which I had arranged for in
+London. To my great amazement, I found the Cantankerous Old Lady and the
+egregious Count comfortably seated there. 'Monsieur has been good enough
+to accept a place in our carriage,' she observed, as I entered.</p>
+
+<p>He bowed and smiled. 'Or, rather, madame has been so kind as to offer me
+one,' he corrected.</p>
+
+<p>'Would you like some lunch, Lady Georgina?' I asked, in my chilliest
+voice. 'There are ten minutes to spare, and the <i>buffet</i> is excellent.'</p>
+
+<p>'An admirable inspiration,' the Count murmured. 'Permit me to escort
+you, miladi.'</p>
+
+<p>'You will come, Lois?' Lady Georgina asked.</p>
+
+<p>'No, thank you,' I answered, for I had an idea. 'I am a capital sailor,
+but the sea takes away my appetite.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you'll keep our places,' she said, turning to me. 'I hope you
+won't allow them to stick in any horrid foreigners! They will try to
+force them on you unless you insist. <i>I</i> know their tricky ways. You
+have the tickets, I trust? And the <i>bulletin</i> for the <i>coup&eacute;</i>? Well,
+mind you don't lose the paper for the registered luggage.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> Don't let
+those dreadful porters touch my cloaks. And if anybody attempts to get
+in, be sure you stand in front of the door as they mount to prevent
+them.'</p>
+
+<p>The Count handed her out; he was all high courtly politeness. As Lady
+Georgina descended, he made yet another dexterous effort to relieve her
+of the jewel-case. I don't think she noticed it, but automatically once
+more she waved him aside. Then she turned to me. 'Here, my dear,' she
+said, handing it to me, 'you'd better take care of it. If I lay it down
+in the <i>buffet</i> while I am eating my soup, some rogue may run away with
+it. But mind, don't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> let it out of your hands on any account. Hold it
+so, on your knee; and, for Heaven's sake, don't part with it.'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_008" id="ILL_008"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_008.jpg" width="500" height="448" alt="THAT SUCCEEDS? THE SHABBY-LOOKING MAN MUTTERED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THAT SUCCEEDS? THE SHABBY-LOOKING MAN MUTTERED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>By this time my suspicions of the Count were profound. From the first I
+had doubted him; he was so blandly plausible. But as we landed at Ostend
+I had accidentally overheard a low whispered conversation when he passed
+a shabby-looking man, who had travelled in a second-class carriage from
+London. 'That succeeds?' the shabby-looking man had muttered under his
+breath in French, as the haughty nobleman with the waxed moustache
+brushed by him.</p>
+
+<p>'That succeeds admirably,' the Count had answered, in the same soft
+undertone. '<i>&Ccedil;a r&eacute;ussit &agrave; merveille!</i>'</p>
+
+<p>I understood him to mean that he had prospered in his attempt to impose
+on Lady Georgina.</p>
+
+<p>They had been gone five minutes at the <i>buffet</i>, when the Count came
+back hurriedly to the door of the <i>coup&eacute;</i> with a <i>nonchalant</i> air. 'Oh,
+mademoiselle,' he said, in an off-hand tone, 'Lady Georgina has sent me
+to fetch her jewel-case.'</p>
+
+<p>I gripped it hard with both hands. '<i>Pardon</i>, M. le Comte,' I answered;
+'Lady Georgina intrusted it to <i>my</i> safe keeping, and, without her
+leave, I cannot give it up to any one.'</p>
+
+<p>'You mistrust me?' he cried, looking black. 'You doubt my honour? You
+doubt my word when I say that miladi has sent me?'</p>
+
+<p>'<i>Du tout</i>,' I answered, calmly. 'But I have Lady Georgina's orders to
+stick to this case; and till Lady Georgina returns I stick to it.'</p>
+
+<p>He murmured some indignant remark below his breath, and walked off. The
+shabby-looking passenger was pacing up and down the platform outside in
+a badly-made dust-coat. As they passed their lips moved. The Count's
+seemed to mutter, '<i>C'est un coup manqu&eacute;.</i>'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>However, he did not desist even so. I saw he meant to go on with his
+dangerous little game. He returned to the <i>buffet</i> and rejoined Lady
+Georgina. I felt sure it would be useless to warn her, so completely had
+the Count succeeded in gulling her; but I took my own steps. I examined
+the jewel-case closely. It had a leather outer covering; within was a
+strong steel box, with stout bands of metal to bind it. I took my cue at
+once, and acted for the best on my own responsibility.</p>
+
+<p>When Lady Georgina and the Count returned, they were like old friends
+together. The quails in aspic and the sparkling hock had evidently
+opened their hearts to one another. As far as Malines they laughed and
+talked without ceasing. Lady Georgina was now in her finest vein of
+spleen: her acid wit grew sharper and more caustic each moment. Not a
+reputation in Europe had a rag left to cover it as we steamed in beneath
+the huge iron roof of the main central junction.</p>
+
+<p>I had observed all the way from Ostend that the Count had been anxious
+lest we might have to give up our <i>coup&eacute;</i> at Malines. I assured him more
+than once that his fears were groundless, for I had arranged at Charing
+Cross that it should run right through to the German frontier. But he
+waved me aside, with one lordly hand. I had not told Lady Georgina of
+his vain attempt to take possession of her jewel-case; and the bare fact
+of my silence made him increasingly suspicious of me.</p>
+
+<p>'Pardon me, mademoiselle,' he said, coldly; 'you do not understand these
+lines as well as I do. Nothing is more common than for those rascals of
+railway clerks to sell one a place in a <i>coup&eacute;</i> or a <i>wagon-lit</i>, and
+then never reserve it, or turn one out half way. It is very possible
+miladi may have to descend at Malines.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina bore him out by a large variety of selected stories
+concerning the various atrocities of the rival companies which had
+stolen her luggage on her way to Italy. As for <i>trains de luxe</i>, they
+were dens of robbers.</p>
+
+<p>So when we reached Malines, just to satisfy Lady Georgina, I put out my
+head and inquired of a porter. As I anticipated, he replied that there
+was no change; we went through to Verviers.</p>
+
+<p>The Count, however, was still unsatisfied. He descended, and made some
+remarks a little farther down the platform to an official in the
+gold-banded cap of a <i>chef-de-gare</i>, or some such functionary. Then he
+returned to us, all fuming. 'It is as I said,' he exclaimed, flinging
+open the door. 'These rogues have deceived us. The <i>coup&eacute;</i> goes no
+farther. You must dismount at once, miladi, and take the train just
+opposite.'</p>
+
+<p>I felt sure he was wrong, and I ventured to say so. But Lady Georgina
+cried, 'Nonsense, child! The <i>chef-de-gare</i> must know. Get out at once!
+Bring my bag and the rugs! Mind that cloak! Don't forget the
+sandwich-tin! Thanks, Count; will you kindly take charge of my
+umbrellas? Hurry up, Lois; hurry up! the train is just starting!'</p>
+
+<p>I scrambled after her, with my fourteen bundles, keeping a quiet eye
+meanwhile on the jewel-case.</p>
+
+<p>We took our seats in the opposite train, which I noticed was marked
+'Amsterdam, Bruxelles, Paris.' But I said nothing. The Count jumped in,
+jumped about, arranged our parcels, jumped out again. He spoke to a
+porter; then he rushed back excitedly. '<i>Mille pardons</i>, miladi,' he
+cried. 'I find the <i>chef-de-gare</i> has cruelly deceived me. You were
+right, after all, mademoiselle! We must return to the <i>coup&eacute;</i>!'</p>
+
+<p>With singular magnanimity, I refrained from saying, 'I told you so.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina, very flustered and hot by this time, tumbled out once
+more, and bolted back to the <i>coup&eacute;</i>. Both trains were just starting. In
+her hurry, at last, she let the Count take possession of her jewel-case.
+I rather fancy that as he passed one window he handed it in to the
+shabby-looking passenger; but I am not certain. At any rate, when we
+were comfortably seated in our own compartment once more, and he stood
+on the footboard just about to enter, of a sudden he made an unexpected
+dash back, and flung himself wildly into a Paris carriage. At the
+self-same moment, with a piercing shriek, both trains started.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina threw up her hands in a frenzy of horror. 'My diamonds!'
+she cried aloud. 'Oh, Lois, my diamonds!'</p>
+
+<p>'Don't distress yourself,' I answered, holding her back, for I verily
+believe she would have leapt from the train. 'He has only taken the
+outer shell, with the sandwich-case inside it. <i>Here</i> is the steel box!'
+And I produced it, triumphantly.</p>
+
+<p>She seized it, overjoyed. 'How did this happen?' she cried, hugging it,
+for she loved those diamonds.</p>
+
+<p>'Very simply,' I answered. 'I saw the man was a rogue, and that he had a
+confederate with him in another carriage. So, while you were gone to the
+<i>buffet</i> at Ostend, I slipped the box out of the case, and put in the
+sandwich-tin, that he might carry it off, and we might have proofs
+against him. All you have to do now is to inform the conductor, who will
+telegraph to stop the train to Paris. I spoke to him about that at
+Ostend, so that everything is ready.'</p>
+
+<p>She positively hugged me. 'My dear,' she cried, 'you are the cleverest
+little woman I ever met in my life! Who on earth could have suspected
+such a polished gentleman? Why, you're worth your weight in gold. What
+the dickens shall I do without you at Schlangenbad?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS <i>ATTACH&Eacute;</i></h3>
+
+<p>The Count must have been an adept in the gentle art of quick-change
+disguise; for though we telegraphed full particulars of his appearance
+from Louvain, the next station, nobody in the least resembling either
+him or his accomplice, the shabby-looking man, could be unearthed in the
+Paris train when it drew up at Brussels, its first stopping-place. They
+must have transformed themselves meanwhile into two different persons.
+Indeed, from the outset, I had suspected his moustache&mdash;'twas so <i>very</i>
+distinguished.</p>
+
+<p>When we reached Cologne, the Cantankerous Old Lady overwhelmed me with
+the warmth of her thanks and praises. Nay, more; after breakfast next
+morning, before we set out by slow train for Schlangenbad, she burst
+like a tornado into my bedroom at the Cologne hotel with a cheque for
+twenty guineas, drawn in my favour. 'That's for you, my dear,' she said,
+handing it to me, and looking really quite gracious.</p>
+
+<p>I glanced at the piece of paper and felt my face glow crimson. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina,' I cried; 'you misunderstand. You forget that I am a lady.'</p>
+
+<p>'Nonsense, child, nonsense! Your courage and promptitude were worth ten
+times that sum,' she exclaimed, positively slipping her arm round my
+neck. 'It was your courage I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> particularly admired, Lois; because you
+faced the risk of my happening to look inside the outer case, and
+finding you had abstracted the blessed box: in which case I might quite
+naturally have concluded you meant to steal it.'</p>
+
+<p>'I thought of that,' I answered. 'But I decided to risk it. I felt it
+was worth while. For I was sure the man meant to take the case as soon
+as ever you gave him the opportunity.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you deserve to be rewarded,' she insisted, pressing the cheque
+upon me.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_009" id="ILL_009"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_009.jpg" width="500" height="459" alt="I PUT HER HAND BACK FIRMLY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I PUT HER HAND BACK FIRMLY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I put her hand back firmly. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, 'it is very amiable
+of you. I think you do right in offering me the money; but I think I
+should do altogether wrong in accepting it. A lady is not honest from
+the hope of gain; she is not brave because she expects to be paid for
+her bravery. You were my employer, and I was bound to serve my
+employer's interests. I did so as well as I could, and there is the end
+of it.'</p>
+
+<p>She looked absolutely disappointed; we all hate to crush a benevolent
+impulse; but she tore the cheque up into very small pieces. 'As you
+will, my dear,' she said, with her hands on her hips: 'I see, you are
+poor Tom Cayley's daughter. He was always a bit Quixotic.' Though I
+believe she liked me all the better for my refusal.</p>
+
+<p>On the way from Cologne to Eltville, however, and on the drive up to
+Schlangenbad, I found her just as fussy and as worrying as ever. 'Let me
+see, how many of these horrid pfennigs make an English penny? I never
+<i>can</i> remember. Oh, those silly little nickel things are ten pfennigs
+each, are they? Well, eight would be a penny, I suppose. A mark's a
+shilling; ridiculous of them to divide it into ten pence instead of
+twelve; one never really knows how much one's paying for anything. Why
+these Continental people can't be content to use pounds, shillings, and
+pence, all over alike, the same as we do, passes <i>my</i> comprehension.
+They're glad enough to get English sovereigns when they can; why, then,
+don't they use them as such, instead of reckoning them each at
+twenty-five francs, and then trying to cheat you out of the proper
+exchange, which is <i>always</i> ten centimes more than the brokers give you?
+What, <i>we</i> use their beastly decimal system? Lois, I'm ashamed of you.
+An English girl to turn and rend her native country like that! Francs
+and centimes, indeed! Fancy proposing it at Peter Robinson's!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> No, I
+will <i>not</i> go by the boat, my dear. I hate the Rhine boats, crowded with
+nasty selfish pigs of Germans. What <i>I</i> like is a first-class
+compartment all to myself, and no horrid foreigners. Especially Germans.
+They're bursting with self-satisfaction&mdash;have such an exaggerated belief
+in their "land" and their "folk." And when they come to England, they do
+nothing but find fault with us. If people aren't satisfied with the
+countries they travel in, they'd better stop at home&mdash;that's <i>my</i>
+opinion. Nasty pigs of Germans! The very sight of them sickens me. Oh, I
+don't mind if they <i>do</i> understand me, child. They all learn English
+nowadays; it helps them in trade&mdash;that's why they're driving us out of
+all the markets. But it <i>must</i> be good for them to learn once in a way
+what other people really think of them&mdash;civilised people, I mean; not
+Germans. They're a set of barbarians.'</p>
+
+<p>We reached Schlangenbad alive, though I sometimes doubted it: for my old
+lady did her boisterous best to rouse some peppery German officer into
+cutting our throats incontinently by the way; and when we got there, we
+took up our abode in the nicest hotel in the village. Lady Georgina had
+engaged the best front room on the first floor, with a charming view
+across the pine-clad valley; but I must do her the justice to say that
+she took the second best for me, and that she treated me in every way
+like the guest she delighted to honour. My refusal to accept her twenty
+guineas made her anxious to pay it back to me within the terms of our
+agreement. She described me to everybody as a young friend who was
+travelling with her, and never gave any one the slightest hint of my
+being a paid companion. Our arrangement was that I was to have two
+guineas for the week, besides my travelling expenses, board, and
+lodging.</p>
+
+<p>On our first morning at Schlangenbad, Lady Georgina<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> sallied forth, very
+much overdressed, and in a youthful hat, to use the waters. They are
+valued chiefly for the complexion, I learned; I wondered then why Lady
+Georgina came there&mdash;for she hadn't any; but they are also recommended
+for nervous irritability, and as Lady Georgina had visited the place
+almost every summer for fifteen years, it opened before one's mind an
+appalling vista of what her temper might have been if she had <i>not</i> gone
+to Schlangenbad. The hot springs are used in the form of a bath. '<i>You</i>
+don't need them, my dear,' Lady Georgina said to me, with a
+good-humoured smile; and I will own that I did not, for nature has
+gifted me with a tolerable cuticle. But I like when at Rome to do as
+Rome does; so I tried the baths once. I found them unpleasantly smooth
+and oily. I do not freckle, but if I did, I think I should prefer
+freckles.</p>
+
+<p>We walked much on the terrace&mdash;the inevitable dawdling promenade of all
+German watering-places&mdash;it reeked of Serene Highness. We also drove out
+among the low wooded hills which bound the Rhine valley. The majority of
+the visitors, I found, were ladies&mdash;Court ladies, most of them; all
+there for their complexions, but all anxious to assure me privately they
+had come for what they described as 'nervous debility.' I divided them
+at once into two classes: half of them never had and never would have a
+complexion at all; the other half had exceptionally smooth and beautiful
+skins, of which they were obviously proud, and whose pink-and-white
+peach-blossom they thought to preserve by assiduous bathing. It was
+vanity working on two opposite bases. There was a sprinkling of men,
+however, who were really there for a sufficient reason&mdash;wounds or
+serious complaints; while a few good old sticks, porty and whisty, were
+in attendance on invalid wives or sisters.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 329px;"><a name="ILL_010" id="ILL_010"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_010.jpg" width="329" height="500" alt="HE CAST A HASTY GLANCE AT US." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE CAST A HASTY GLANCE AT US.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>From the beginning I noticed that Lady Georgina went<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> peering about all
+over the place, as if she were hunting for something she had lost, with
+her long-handled tortoise-shell glasses perpetually in evidence&mdash;the
+'aristocratic outrage' I called them&mdash;and that she eyed all the men with
+peculiar attention. But I took no open notice of her little weakness. On
+our second day at the Spa, I was sauntering with her down the chief
+street&mdash;'a beastly little hole, my dear; not a decent shop where one can
+buy a reel of thread or a yard of tape in the place!'&mdash;when I observed a
+tall and handsome young man on the opposite side of the road cast a
+hasty glance at us, and then sneak round the corner hurriedly. He was a
+loose-limbed, languid-looking young man, with large, dreamy eyes, and a
+peculiarly beautiful and gentle expression; but what I noted about him
+most was an odd superficial air of superciliousness. He seemed always to
+be looking down with scorn on that foolish jumble, the universe. He
+darted away so rapidly, however, that I hardly discovered all this just
+then. I piece it out from subsequent observations.</p>
+
+<p>Later in the day, we chanced to pass a <i>caf&eacute;</i>, where three young
+exquisites sat sipping Rhine wines after the fashion of the country. One
+of them, with a gold-tipped cigarette held gracefully between two
+slender fingers, was my languid-looking young aristocrat. He was blowing
+out smoke in a lazy blue stream. The moment he saw me, however, he
+turned away as if he desired to escape observation, and ducked down so
+as to hide his face behind his companions. I wondered why on earth he
+should want to avoid me. Could this be the Count? No, the young man with
+the halo of cigarette smoke stood three inches taller. Who, then, at
+Schlangenbad could wish to avoid my notice? It was a singular mystery;
+for I was quite certain the supercilious young man was trying his best
+to prevent my seeing him.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>That evening, after dinner, the Cantankerous Old Lady burst out
+suddenly, 'Well, I can't for the life of me imagine<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> why Harold hasn't
+turned up here. The wretch knew I was coming; and I heard from our
+Ambassador at Rome last week that he was going to be at Schlangenbad.'</p>
+
+<p>'Who is Harold?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'My nephew,' Lady Georgina snapped back, beating a devil's tattoo with
+her fan on the table. 'The only member of my family, except myself, who
+isn't a born idiot. Harold's not an idiot; he's an <i>attach&eacute;</i> at Rome.'</p>
+
+<p>I saw it at a glance. 'Then he <i>is</i> in Schlangenbad,' I answered. 'I
+noticed him this morning.'</p>
+
+<p>The old lady turned towards me sharply. She peered right through me, as
+if she were a R&ouml;ntgen ray. I could see she was asking herself whether
+this was a conspiracy, and whether I had come there on purpose to meet
+'Harold.' But I flatter myself I am tolerably mistress of my own
+countenance. I did not blench. 'How do you know?' she asked quickly,
+with an acid intonation.</p>
+
+<p>If I had answered the truth, I should have said, 'I know he is here,
+because I saw a good-looking young man evidently trying to avoid you
+this morning; and if a young man has the misfortune to be born your
+nephew, and also to have expectations from you, it is easy to understand
+that he would prefer to keep out of your way as long as possible.' But
+that would have been neither polite nor politic. Moreover, I reflected
+that I had no particular reason for wishing to do Mr. Harold a bad turn;
+and that it would be kinder to him, as well as to her, to conceal the
+reasons on which I based my instinctive inference. So I took up a strong
+strategic position. 'I have an intuition that I saw him in the village
+this morning,' I said. 'Family likeness, perhaps. I merely jumped at it
+as you spoke. A tall, languid young man; large, poetical eyes; an
+artistic moustache&mdash;just a trifle Oriental-looking.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p><p>'That's Harold!' the Cantankerous Old Lady rapped out sharply, with
+clear conviction. 'The miserable boy! Why on earth hasn't he been round
+to see me?'</p>
+
+<p>I reflected that I knew why; but I did not say so. Silence is golden. I
+also remarked mentally on that curious human blindness which had made me
+conclude at first that the supercilious young man was trying to avoid
+<i>me</i>, when I might have guessed it was far more likely he was trying to
+avoid my companion. I was a nobody; Lady Georgina Fawley was a woman of
+European reputation.</p>
+
+<p>'Perhaps he didn't know which hotel you were stopping at,' I put in. 'Or
+even that you were here.' I felt a sudden desire to shield poor Harold.</p>
+
+<p>'Not know which hotel? Nonsense, child; he knows I come here on this
+precise date regularly every summer; and if he didn't know, is it likely
+I should try any other inn, when this is the only moderately decent
+house to stop at in Schlangenbad? And the morning coffee undrinkable at
+that; while the hash&mdash;<i>such</i> hash! But that's the way in Germany. He's
+an ungrateful monster; if he comes now, I shall refuse to see him.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_011" id="ILL_011"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_011.jpg" width="700" height="430" alt="HAROLD, YOU VIPER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TRYING TO AVOID ME?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">HAROLD, YOU VIPER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TRYING TO AVOID ME?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Next morning after breakfast, however, in spite of these threats, she
+hailed me forth with her on the Harold hunt. She had sent the
+<i>concierge</i> to inquire at all the hotels already, it seemed, and found
+her truant at none of them; now she ransacked the <i>pensions</i>. At last
+she hunted him down in a house on the hill. I could see she was really
+hurt. 'Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?'</p>
+
+<p>'My dear aunt, <i>you</i> here in Schlangenbad! Why, when did you arrive? And
+what a colour you've got! You're looking <i>so</i> well!' That clever thrust
+saved him.</p>
+
+<p>He cast me an appealing glance. 'You will not betray me?' it said. I
+answered, mutely, 'Not for worlds,' with a faltering pair of downcast
+eyelids.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I'm <i>well</i> enough, thank you,' Lady Georgina<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> replied, somewhat
+mollified by his astute allusion to her personal appearance. He had hit
+her weak point dexterously. 'As well, that is, as one can expect to be
+nowadays. Hereditary gout&mdash;the sins of the fathers visited as usual. But
+why didn't you come to see me?'</p>
+
+<p>'How can I come to see you if you don't tell me where you are? "Lady
+Georgina Fawley, Europe," was the only address I knew. It strikes me as
+insufficient.'</p>
+
+<p>His gentle drawl was a capital foil to Lady Georgina's acidulous
+soprano. It seemed to disarm her. She turned to me with a benignant wave
+of her hand. 'Miss Cayley,' she said, introducing me; 'my nephew, Mr.
+Harold Tillington. You've heard me talk of poor Tom Cayley, Harold? This
+is poor Tom Cayley's daughter.'</p>
+
+<p>'Indeed?' the supercilious <i>attach&eacute;</i> put in, looking hard at me.
+'Delighted to make Miss Cayley's acquaintance.'</p>
+
+<p>'Now, Harold, I can tell from your voice at once you haven't remembered
+one word about Captain Cayley.'</p>
+
+<p>Harold stood on the defensive. 'My dear aunt,' he observed, expanding
+both palms, 'I have heard you talk of so <i>very</i> many people, that even
+<i>my</i> diplomatic memory fails at times to recollect them all. But I do
+better: I dissemble. I will plead forgetfulness now of Captain Cayley,
+since you force it on me. It is not likely I shall have to plead it of
+Captain Cayley's daughter.' And he bowed towards me gallantly.</p>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady darted a lightning glance at him. It was a
+glance of quick suspicion. Then she turned her R&ouml;ntgen rays upon my face
+once more. I fear I burned crimson.</p>
+
+<p>'A friend?' he asked. 'Or a fellow-guest?'</p>
+
+<p>'A companion.' It was the first nasty thing she had said of me.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Ha! more than a friend, then. A comrade.' He turned the edge neatly.</p>
+
+<p>We walked out on the terrace and a little way up the zigzag path. The
+day was superb. I found Mr. Tillington, in spite of his studiously
+languid and supercilious air, a most agreeable companion. He knew
+Europe. He was full of talk of Rome and the Romans. He had epigrammatic
+wit, curt, keen, and pointed. We sat down on a bench; he kept Lady
+Georgina and myself amused for an hour by his crisp sallies. Besides, he
+had been everywhere and seen everybody. Culture and agriculture seemed
+all one to him.</p>
+
+<p>When we rose to go in, Lady Georgina remarked, with emphasis, 'Of
+course, Harold, you'll come and take up your diggings at our hotel?'</p>
+
+<p>'Of course, my dear aunt. How can you ask? Free quarters. Nothing would
+give me greater pleasure.'</p>
+
+<p>She glanced at him keenly again. I saw she had expected him to fake up
+some lame excuse for not joining us; and I fancied she was annoyed at
+his prompt acquiescence, which had done her out of the chance for a
+family disagreement. 'Oh, you'll come then?' she said, grudgingly.</p>
+
+<p>'Certainly, most respected aunt. I shall much prefer it.'</p>
+
+<p>She let her piercing eye descend upon me once more. I was aware that I
+had been talking with frank ease of manner to Mr. Tillington, and that I
+had said several things which clearly amused him. Then I remembered all
+at once our relative positions. A companion, I felt, should know her
+place: it is not her <i>r&ocirc;le</i> to be smart and amusing. 'Perhaps,' I said,
+drawing back, 'Mr. Tillington would like to remain in his present
+quarters till the end of the week, while I am with you, Lady Georgina;
+after that, he could have my room; it might be more convenient.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>His eye caught mine quickly. 'Oh, you're only going to stop a week,
+then, Miss Cayley?' he put in, with an air of disappointment.</p>
+
+<p>'Only a week,' I nodded.</p>
+
+<p>'My dear child,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke out, 'what nonsense you
+do talk! Only going to stop a week? How can I exist without you?'</p>
+
+<p>'That was the arrangement,' I said, mischievously. 'You were going to
+look about, you recollect, for an unsophisticated Gretchen. You don't
+happen to know of any warehouse where a supply of unsophisticated
+Gretchens is kept constantly in stock, do you, Mr. Tillington?'</p>
+
+<p>'No, I don't,' he answered, laughing. 'I believe there are dodos and
+auks' eggs, in very small numbers, still to be procured in the proper
+quarters; but the unsophisticated Gretchen, I am credibly informed, is
+an extinct animal. Why, the cap of one fetches high prices nowadays
+among collectors.'</p>
+
+<p>'But you will come to the hotel at once, Harold?' Lady Georgina
+interposed.</p>
+
+<p>'Certainly, aunt. I will move in without delay. If Miss Cayley is going
+to stay for a single week only, that adds one extra inducement for
+joining you immediately.'</p>
+
+<p>His aunt's stony eye was cold as marble.</p>
+
+<p>So when we got back to our hotel after the baths that afternoon, the
+<i>concierge</i> greeted us with: 'Well, your noble nephew has arrived,
+high-well-born countess! He came with his boxes just now, and has taken
+a room near your honourable ladyship's.'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina's face was a study of mingled emotions. I don't know
+whether she looked more pleased or jealous.</p>
+
+<p>Later in the day, I chanced on Mr. Tillington, sunning himself on a
+bench in the hotel garden. He rose, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> came up to me, as fast as his
+languid nature permitted. 'Oh, Miss Cayley,' he said, abruptly, 'I do
+want to thank you so much for not betraying me. I know you spotted me
+twice in the town yesterday; and I also know you were good enough to say
+nothing to my revered aunt about it.'</p>
+
+<p>'I had no reason for wishing to hurt Lady Georgina's feelings,' I
+answered, with a permissible evasion.</p>
+
+<p>His countenance fell. 'I never thought of that,' he interposed, with one
+hand on his moustache. 'I&mdash; I fancied you did it out of fellow-feeling.'</p>
+
+<p>'We all think of things mainly from our own point of view first,' I
+answered. 'The difference is that some of us think of them from other
+people's afterwards. Motives are mixed.'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled. 'I didn't know my deeply venerated relative was coming here
+so soon,' he went on. 'I thought she wasn't expected till next week; my
+brother wrote me that she had quarrelled with her French maid, and
+'twould take her full ten days to get another. I meant to clear out
+before she arrived. To tell you the truth, I was going to-morrow.'</p>
+
+<p>'And now you are stopping on?'</p>
+
+<p>He caught my eye again.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 358px;"><a name="ILL_012" id="ILL_012"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_012.jpg" width="358" height="500" alt="CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES, HE MURMURED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES, HE MURMURED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Circumstances alter cases,' he murmured, with meaning.</p>
+
+<p>'It is hardly polite to describe one as a circumstance,' I objected.</p>
+
+<p>'I meant,' he said, quickly, 'my aunt alone is one thing; my aunt with a
+friend is quite another.'</p>
+
+<p>'I see,' I answered. 'There is safety in numbers.'</p>
+
+<p>He eyed me hard.</p>
+
+<p>'Are you medi&aelig;val or modern?' he asked.</p>
+
+<p>'Modern, I hope,' I replied. Then I looked at him again. 'Oxford?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He nodded. 'And you?' half joking.</p>
+
+<p>'Cambridge,' I said, glad to catch him out. 'What college?'</p>
+
+<p>'Merton. Yours?'</p>
+
+<p>'Girton.'</p>
+
+<p>The odd rhyme amused him. Thenceforth we were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> friends&mdash;'two 'Varsity
+men,' he said. And indeed it does make a queer sort of link&mdash;a
+freemasonry to which even women are now admitted.</p>
+
+<p>At dinner and through the evening he talked a great deal to me, Lady
+Georgina putting in from time to time a characteristic growl about the
+<i>table-d'h&ocirc;te</i> chicken&mdash;'a special breed, my dear, with eight drumsticks
+apiece'&mdash;or about the inadequate lighting of the heavy German <i>salon</i>.
+She was worse than ever: pungent as a rule, that evening she was grumpy.
+When we retired for the night, to my great surprise, she walked into my
+bedroom. She seated herself on my bed: I saw she had come to talk over
+Harold.</p>
+
+<p>'He will be very rich, my dear, you know. A great catch in time. He will
+inherit all my brother's money.'</p>
+
+<p>'Lord Kynaston's?'</p>
+
+<p>'Bless the child, no. Kynaston's as poor as a church mouse with the
+tithes unpaid; he has three sons of his own, and not a blessed stiver to
+leave between them. How could he, poor dear idiot? Agricultural
+depression; a splendid pauper. He has only the estate, and that's in
+Essex; land going begging; worth nothing a year, encumbered up to the
+eyes, and loaded with first rent-charges, jointures, settlements. Money,
+indeed! poor Kynaston! It's my brother Marmaduke's I mean; lucky dog,
+<i>he</i> went in for speculation&mdash;began life as a guinea-pig, and rose with
+the rise of soap and cocoa. He's worth his half-million.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina nodded. 'Marmy's a fool,' she said, briefly; 'but he knows
+which side of his bread is buttered.'</p>
+
+<p>'And Mr. Tillington is&mdash;his nephew?'</p>
+
+<p>'Bless the child, yes; have you never read your British Bible, the
+peerage? Astonishing, the ignorance of these Girton girls! They don't
+even know the Leger's run at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> Doncaster. The family name's Ashurst.
+Kynaston's an earl&mdash; I was Lady Georgina Ashurst before I took it into
+my head to marry and do for poor Evelyn Fawley. My younger brother's the
+Honourable Marmaduke Ashurst&mdash;women get the best of it there&mdash;it's about
+the only place where they do get the best of it: an earl's daughter is
+Lady Betty; his son's nothing more than the Honourable Tom. So one
+scores off one's brothers. My younger sister, Lady Guinevere Ashurst,
+married Stanley Tillington of the Foreign Office. Harold's their eldest
+son. Now, child, do you grasp it?'</p>
+
+<p>'Perfectly,' I answered. 'You speak like Debrett. Has issue, Harold.'</p>
+
+<p>'And Harold will inherit all Marmaduke's money. What I'm always afraid
+of is that some fascinating adventuress will try to marry him out of
+hand. A pretty face, and over goes Harold! <i>My</i> business in life is to
+stand in the way and prevent it.'</p>
+
+<p>She looked me through and through again with her X-ray scrutiny.</p>
+
+<p>'I don't think Mr. Tillington is quite the sort that falls a prey to
+adventuresses,' I answered, boldly.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah, but there are faggots and faggots,' the old lady said, wagging her
+head with profound meaning. 'Never mind, though; <i>I'd</i> like to see an
+adventuress marry off Harold without my leave! <i>I'd</i> lead her a life!
+I'd turn her black hair gray for her!'</p>
+
+<p>'I should think,' I assented, 'you could do it, Lady Georgina, if you
+gave your attention seriously to it.'</p>
+
+<p>From that moment forth, I was aware that my Cantankerous Old Lady's
+malign eye was inexorably fixed upon me every time I went within
+speaking distance of Mr. Tillington. She watched him like a lynx. She
+watched <i>me</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> like a dozen lynxes. Wherever we went, Lady Georgina was
+sure to turn up in the neighbourhood. She was perfectly ubiquitous: she
+seemed to possess a world-wide circulation. I don't know whether it was
+this constant suggestion of hers that I was stalking her nephew which
+roused my latent human feeling of opposition; but in the end, I began to
+be aware that I rather liked the supercilious <i>attach&eacute;</i> than otherwise.
+He evidently liked me, and he tried to meet me. Whenever he spoke to me,
+indeed, it was without the superciliousness which marked his manner
+towards others; in point of fact, it was with graceful deference. He
+watched for me on the stairs, in the garden, by the terrace; whenever he
+got a chance, he sidled over and talked to me. Sometimes he stopped in
+to read me Heine: he also introduced me to select portions of Gabriele
+d'Annunzio. It is feminine to be touched by such obvious attention; I
+confess, before long, I grew to like Mr. Harold Tillington.</p>
+
+<p>The closer he followed me up, the more did I perceive that Lady Georgina
+threw out acrid hints with increasing spleen about the ways of
+adventuresses. They were hints of that acrimonious generalised kind,
+too, which one cannot answer back without seeming to admit that the cap
+has fitted. It was atrocious how middle-class young women nowadays ran
+after young men of birth and fortune. A girl would stoop to anything in
+order to catch five hundred thousand. Guileless youths should be thrown
+among their natural equals. It was a mistake to let them see too much of
+people of a lower rank who consider themselves good-looking. And the
+clever ones were the worst: they pretended to go in for intellectual
+companionship.</p>
+
+<p>I also noticed that though at first Lady Georgina had expressed the
+strongest disinclination to my leaving her after the time originally
+proposed, she now began to take for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> granted that I would go at the end
+of my week, as arranged in London, and she even went on to some overt
+steps towards securing the help of the blameless Gretchen.</p>
+
+<p>We had arrived at Schlangenbad on Tuesday. I was to stop with the
+Cantankerous Old Lady till the corresponding day of the following week.
+On the Sunday, I wandered out on the wooded hillside behind the village;
+and as I mounted the path I was dimly aware by a sort of instinct that
+Harold Tillington was following me.</p>
+
+<p>He came up with me at last near a ledge of rock. 'How fast you walk!' he
+exclaimed. 'I gave you only a few minutes' start, and yet even my long
+legs have had hard work to overtake you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I am a fairly good climber,' I answered, sitting down on a little
+wooden bench. 'You see, at Cambridge, I went on the river a great deal&mdash;
+I canoed and sculled: and then, besides, I've done a lot of bicycling.'</p>
+
+<p>'What a splendid birthright it is,' he cried, 'to be a wholesome
+athletic English girl! You can't think how one admires English girls
+after living a year or two in Italy&mdash;where women are dolls, except for a
+brief period of intrigue, before they settle down to be contented frumps
+with an outline like a barrel.'</p>
+
+<p>'A little muscle and a little mind are no doubt advisable adjuncts for a
+housewife,' I admitted.</p>
+
+<p>'You shall not say that word,' he cried, seating himself at my side. 'It
+is a word for Germans, "housewife." Our English ideal is something
+immeasurably higher and better. A companion, a complement! Do you know,
+Miss Cayley, it always sickens me when I hear German students
+sentimentalising over their <i>m&auml;dchen</i>: their beautiful, pure, insipid,
+yellow-haired, blue-eyed <i>m&auml;dchen</i>; her, so fair, so innocent, so
+unapproachably vacuous&mdash;so like a wax doll&mdash;and then<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> think of how they
+design her in days to come to cook sausages for their dinner, and knit
+them endless stockings through a placid middle age, till the needles
+drop from her paralysed fingers, and she retires into frilled caps and
+Teutonic senility.'</p>
+
+<p>'You seem to have almost as low an opinion of foreigners as your
+respected aunt!' I exclaimed, looking quizzically at him.</p>
+
+<p>He drew back, surprised. 'Oh, no; I'm not narrow-minded, like my aunt, I
+hope,' he answered. 'I am a good cosmopolitan. I allow Continental
+nations all their own good points, and each has many. But their women,
+Miss Cayley&mdash;and their point of view of their women&mdash;you will admit that
+there they can't hold a candle to English women.'</p>
+
+<p>I drew a circle in the dust with the tip of my parasol.</p>
+
+<p>'On that issue, I may not be a wholly unprejudiced observer,' I
+answered. 'The fact of my being myself an Englishwoman may possibly to
+some extent influence my judgment.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are sarcastic,' he cried, drawing away.</p>
+
+<p>'Not at all,' I answered, making a wider circle. 'I spoke a simple fact.
+But what is <i>your</i> ideal, then, as opposed to the German one?'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me and hesitated. His lips half parted. 'My ideal?' he said,
+after a pause. 'Well, <i>my</i> ideal&mdash;do you happen to have such a thing as
+a pocket-mirror about you?'</p>
+
+<p>I laughed in spite of myself. 'Now, Mr. Tillington,' I said severely,
+'if you're going to pay compliments, I shall have to return. If you want
+to stop here with me, you must remember that I am only Lady Georgina
+Fawley's temporary lady's-maid. Besides, I didn't mean that. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> meant,
+what is your ideal of a man's right relation to his <i>m&auml;dchen</i>?'</p>
+
+<p>'Don't say <i>m&auml;dchen</i>,' he cried, petulantly. 'It sounds as if you
+thought me one of those sentimental Germans. I hate sentiment.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then, towards the woman of his choice.'</p>
+
+<p>He glanced up through the trees at the light overhead, and spoke more
+slowly than ever. 'I think,' he said, fumbling his watch-chain
+nervously, 'a man ought to wish the woman he loves to be a free agent,
+his equal in point of action, even as she is nobler and better than he
+in all spiritual matters. I think he ought to desire for her a life as
+high as she is capable of leading, with full scope for every faculty of
+her intellect or her emotional nature. She should be beautiful, with a
+vigorous, wholesome, many-sided beauty, moral, intellectual, physical;
+yet with soul in her, too; and with the soul and the mind lighting up
+her eyes, as it lights up&mdash;well, that is immaterial. And if a man can
+discover such a woman as that, and can induce her to believe in him, to
+love him, to accept him&mdash;though how such a woman can be satisfied with
+any man at all is to me unfathomable&mdash;well, then, I think he should be
+happy in devoting his whole life to her, and should give himself up to
+repay her condescension in taking him.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you hate sentiment!' I put in, smiling.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 441px;"><a name="ILL_013" id="ILL_013"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_013.jpg" width="441" height="500" alt="MISS CAYLEY, HE SAID, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">MISS CAYLEY, HE SAID, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He brought his eyes back from the sky suddenly. 'Miss Cayley,' he said,
+'this is cruel. I was in earnest. You are playing with me.'</p>
+
+<p>'I believe the chief characteristic of the English girl is supposed to
+be common sense,' I answered, calmly, 'and I trust I possess it.' But
+indeed, as he spoke, my heart was beginning to make its beat felt; for
+he was a charming young man; he had a soft voice and lustrous eyes; it
+was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> summer's day; and alone in the woods with one other person, where
+the sunlight falls mellow in spots like a leopard's skin, one is apt to
+remember that we are all human.</p>
+
+<p>That evening Lady Georgina managed to blurt out more malicious things
+than ever about the ways of adventuresses,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> and the duty of relations in
+saving young men from the clever clutches of designing creatures. She
+was ruthless in her rancour: her gibes stung me.</p>
+
+<p>On Monday at breakfast I asked her casually if she had yet found a
+Gretchen.</p>
+
+<p>'No,' she answered, in a gloomy voice. 'All slatterns, my dear; all
+slatterns! Brought up in pig-sties. I wouldn't let one of them touch my
+hair for thousands.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's unfortunate,' I said, drily, 'for you know I'm going to-morrow.'</p>
+
+<p>If I had dropped a bomb in their midst they couldn't have looked more
+astonished. 'To-morrow?' Lady Georgina gasped, clutching my arm. 'You
+don't mean it, child; you don't mean it?'</p>
+
+<p>I asserted my Ego. 'Certainly,' I answered, with my coolest air. 'I said
+I thought I could manage you for a week; and I have managed you.'</p>
+
+<p>She almost burst into tears. 'But, my child, my child, what shall I do
+without you?'</p>
+
+<p>'The unsophisticated Gretchen,' I answered, trying not to look
+concerned; for in my heart of hearts, in spite of her innuendoes, I had
+really grown rather to like the Cantankerous Old Lady.</p>
+
+<p>She rose hastily from the table, and darted up to her own room. 'Lois,'
+she said, as she rose, in a curious voice of mingled regret and
+suspicion, 'I will talk to you about this later.' I could see she was
+not quite satisfied in her own mind whether Harold Tillington and I had
+not arranged this <i>coup</i> together.</p>
+
+<p>I put on my hat and strolled off into the garden, and then along the
+mossy hill path. In a minute more, Harold Tillington was beside me.</p>
+
+<p>He seated me, half against my will, on a rustic bench.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> 'Look here, Miss
+Cayley,' he said, with a very earnest face; 'is this really true? Are
+you going to-morrow?'</p>
+
+<p>My voice trembled a little. 'Yes,' I answered, biting my lip. 'I am
+going. I see several reasons why I should go, Mr. Tillington.'</p>
+
+<p>'But so soon?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I think so; the sooner the better.' My heart was racing now, and
+his eyes pleaded mutely.</p>
+
+<p>'Then where are you going?'</p>
+
+<p>I shrugged my shoulders, and pouted my lips a little. 'I don't know,' I
+replied. 'The world is all before me where to choose. I am an
+adventuress,' I said it boldly, 'and I am in quest of adventures. I
+really have not yet given a thought to my next place of sojourn.'</p>
+
+<p>'But you will let me know when you have decided?'</p>
+
+<p>It was time to speak out. 'No, Mr. Tillington,' I said, with decision.
+'I will <i>not</i> let you know. One of my reasons for going is, that I think
+I had better see no more of you.'</p>
+
+<p>He flung himself on the bench at my side, and folded his hands in a
+helpless attitude. 'But, Miss Cayley,' he cried, 'this is so short a
+notice; you give a fellow no chance; I hoped I might have seen more of
+you&mdash;might have had some opportunity of&mdash;of letting you realise how
+deeply I admired and respected you&mdash;some opportunity of showing myself
+as I really am to you&mdash;before&mdash;before&mdash;&mdash;' he paused, and looked hard at
+me.</p>
+
+<p>I did not know what to say. I really liked him so much; and when he
+spoke in that voice, I could not bear to seem cruel to him. Indeed, I
+was aware at the moment how much I had grown to care for him in those
+six short days. But I knew it was impossible. 'Don't say it, Mr.
+Tillington,' I murmured, turning my face away. 'The less said, the
+sooner mended.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 254px;"><a name="ILL_014" id="ILL_014"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_014.jpg" width="254" height="500" alt="I ROSE OF A SUDDEN, AND RAN DOWN THE HILL." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I ROSE OF A SUDDEN, AND RAN DOWN THE HILL.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'But I must,' he cried. 'I must tell you now, if I am to have no chance
+afterwards. I wanted you to see more of me before I ventured to ask you
+if you could ever love me, if you could ever suffer me to go through
+life with you, to share my all with you.' He seized my trembling hand.
+'Lois,' he cried, in a pleading voice, 'I <i>must</i> ask you; I can't expect
+you to answer me now, but <i>do</i> say you will give me at least some other
+chance of seeing you, and then, in time, of pressing my suit upon you.'</p>
+
+<p>Tears stood in my eyes. He was so earnest, so charming. But I remembered
+Lady Georgina, and his prospective half-million. I moved his hand away
+gently. 'I cannot,' I said. 'I cannot&mdash; I am a penniless girl&mdash;an
+adventuress. Your family, your uncle, would never forgive you if you
+married me. I will not stand in your way. I&mdash; I like you very much,
+though I have seen so little of you. But I feel it is impossible&mdash;and I
+am going to-morrow.'</p>
+
+<p>Then I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill with all my might, lest I
+should break my resolve, never stopping once till I reached my own
+bedroom.</p>
+
+<p>An hour later, Lady Georgina burst in upon me in high dudgeon. 'Why,
+Lois, my child,' she cried. 'What's this? What on earth does it mean?
+Harold tells me he has proposed to you&mdash;proposed to you&mdash;and you've
+rejected him!'</p>
+
+<p>I dried my eyes and tried to look steadily at her. 'Yes, Lady Georgina,'
+I faltered. 'You need not be afraid. I have refused him; and I mean it.'</p>
+
+<p>She looked at me, all aghast. '<i>And</i> you mean it!' she repeated. 'You
+mean to refuse him. Then, all I can say is, Lois Cayley, I call it pure
+cheek of you!'</p>
+
+<p>'What?' I cried, drawing back.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, cheek,' she answered, volubly. 'Forty thousand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> a year, and a
+good old family! Harold Tillington is my nephew; he's an earl's
+grandson; he's an <i>attach&eacute;</i> at Rome; and he's bound to be one of the
+richest commoners in England. Who are you, I'd like to know, miss, that
+you dare to reject him?'</p>
+
+<p>I stared at her, amazed. 'But, Lady Georgina,' I cried, 'you said you
+wished to protect your nephew against bare-faced adventuresses who were
+setting their caps at him.'</p>
+
+<p>She fixed her eyes on me, half-angry, half-tremulous.</p>
+
+<p>'Of course,' she answered, with withering scorn. 'But, <i>then</i>, I thought
+you were trying to catch him. He tells me now you won't have him, and
+you won't tell him where you are going. I call it sheer insolence. Where
+do you hail from, girl, that you should refuse my nephew? A man that any
+woman in England would be proud to marry! Forty thousand a year, and an
+earl's grandson! That's what comes, I suppose, of going to Girton!'</p>
+
+<p>I drew myself up. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, coldly, 'I cannot allow you
+to use such language to me. I promised to accompany you to Germany for a
+week; and I have kept my word. I like your nephew; I respect your
+nephew; he has behaved like a gentleman. But I will <i>not</i> marry him.
+Your own conduct showed me in the plainest way that you did not judge
+such a match desirable for him; and I have common sense enough to see
+that you were quite right. I am a lady by birth and education; I am an
+officer's daughter; but I am not what society calls "a good match" for
+Mr. Tillington. He had better marry into a rich stockbroker's family.'</p>
+
+<p>It was an unworthy taunt: the moment it escaped my lips I regretted it.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_015" id="ILL_015"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_015.jpg" width="600" height="403" alt="I WAS GOING TO OPPOSE YOU AND HAROLD." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I WAS GOING TO OPPOSE YOU AND HAROLD.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>To my intense surprise, however, Lady Georgina flung herself on my bed,
+and burst into tears. 'My dear,' she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> sobbed out, covering her face with
+her hands, 'I thought you would be sure to set your cap at Harold; and
+after<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span> I had seen you for twenty-four hours, I said to myself, "That's
+just the sort of girl Harold ought to fall in love with." I felt sure he
+would fall in love with you. I brought you here on purpose. I saw you
+had all the qualities that would strike Harold's fancy. So I had made up
+my mind for a delightful regulation family quarrel. I was going to
+oppose you and Harold, tooth and nail; I was going to threaten that
+Marmy would leave his money to Kynaston's eldest son; I was going to
+kick up, oh, a dickens of a row about it! Then, of course, in the end,
+we should all have been reconciled; we should have kissed and made
+friends: for you're just the one girl in the world for Harold; indeed, I
+never met anybody so capable and so intelligent. And now you spoil all
+my sport by going and refusing him! It's really most ill-timed of you.
+And Harold has sent me here&mdash;he's trembling with anxiety&mdash;to see whether
+I can't induce you to think better of your decision.'</p>
+
+<p>I made up my mind at once. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I said, in my gentlest
+voice&mdash;positively stooping down and kissing her. 'I like Mr. Tillington
+very much. I dare not tell you how much I like him. He is a dear, good,
+kind fellow. But I cannot rest under the cruel imputation of being moved
+by his wealth and having tried to capture him. Even if <i>you</i> didn't
+think so, his family would. I am sorry to go; for in a way I like you.
+But it is best to adhere to our original plan. If <i>I</i> changed my mind,
+<i>you</i> might change yours again. Let us say no more. I will go
+to-morrow.'</p>
+
+<p>'But you will see Harold again?'</p>
+
+<p>'Not alone. Only at dinner.' For I feared lest, if he spoke to me alone,
+he might over-persuade me.</p>
+
+<p>'Then at least you will tell him where you are going?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'No, Lady Georgina; I do not know myself. And besides, it is best that
+this should now be final.'</p>
+
+<p>She flung herself upon me. 'But, my dear child, a lady can't go out into
+the world with only two pounds in pocket. You <i>must</i> let me lend you
+something.'</p>
+
+<p>I unwound her clasping hands. 'No, dear Lady Georgina,' I said, though I
+was loth to say it. 'You are very sweet and good, but I must work out my
+life in my own way. I have started to work it out, and I won't be turned
+aside just here on the threshold.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you won't stop with me?' she cried, opening her arms. 'You think me
+too cantankerous?'</p>
+
+<p>'I think you have a dear, kind old heart,' I said, 'under the quaintest
+and crustiest outside such a heart ever wore; you're a truculent old
+darling: so that's the plain truth of it.'</p>
+
+<p>She kissed me. I kissed her in return with fervour, though I am but a
+poor hand at kissing, for a woman. 'So now this episode is concluded,' I
+murmured.</p>
+
+<p>'I don't know about that,' she said, drying her eyes. 'I have set my
+heart upon you now; and Harold has set his heart upon you; and
+considering that your own heart goes much the same way, I daresay, my
+dear, we shall find in the end some convenient road out of it.'</p>
+
+<p>Nevertheless, next morning I set out by myself in the coach from
+Schlangenbad. I went forth into the world to live my own life, partly
+because it was just then so fashionable, but mainly because fate had
+denied me the chance of living anybody else's.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN</h3>
+
+<p>In one week I had multiplied my capital two hundred and forty-fold! I
+left London with twopence in the world; I quitted Schlangenbad with two
+pounds in pocket.</p>
+
+<p>'There's a splendid turn-over!' I thought to myself. 'If this luck
+holds, at the same rate, I shall have made four hundred and eighty
+pounds by Tuesday next, and I may look forward to being a Barney Barnato
+by Christmas.' For I had taken high mathematical honours at Cambridge,
+and if there is anything on earth on which I pride myself, it is my firm
+grasp of the principle of ratios.</p>
+
+<p>Still, in spite of this brilliant financial prospect, a budding
+Klondike, I went away from the little Spa on the flanks of the Taunus
+with a heavy heart. I had grown quite to like dear, virulent, fidgety
+old Lady Georgina; and I felt that it had cost me a distinct wrench to
+part with Harold Tillington. The wrench left a scar which was long in
+healing; but as I am not a professional sentimentalist, I will not
+trouble you here with details of the symptoms.</p>
+
+<p>My livelihood, however, was now assured me. With two pounds in pocket, a
+sensible girl can read her title clear to six days' board and lodging,
+at six marks a day, with a glorious margin of four marks over for
+pocket-money. And<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> if at the end of six days my fairy godmother had not
+pointed me out some other means of earning my bread honestly&mdash;well, I
+should feel myself unworthy to be ranked in the noble army of
+adventuresses. I thank thee, Lady Georgina, for teaching me that word.
+An adventuress I would be; for I loved adventure.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I might fill up the interval by going
+to study art at Frankfort. Elsie Petheridge had been there, and had
+impressed upon me the fact that I must on no account omit to see the
+St&auml;del Gallery. She was strong on culture. Besides, the study of art
+should be most useful to an adventuress; for she must need all the arts
+that human skill has developed.</p>
+
+<p>So to Frankfort I betook myself, and found there a nice little
+<i>pension</i>&mdash;'for ladies only,' Frau Bockenheifner assured me&mdash;at very
+moderate rates, in a pleasant part of the Lindenstrasse. It had dimity
+curtains. I will not deny that as I entered the house I was conscious of
+feeling lonely; my heart sank once or twice as I glanced round the
+luncheon-table at the domestically-unsympathetic German old maids who
+formed the rank-and-file of my fellow-boarders. There they sat&mdash;eight
+comfortable Fraus who had missed their vocation; plentiful ladies,
+bulging and surging in tightly stretched black silk bodices. They had
+been cut out for such housewives as Harold Tillington had described, but
+found themselves deprived of their natural sphere in life by the
+unaccountable caprice of the men of their nation. Each was a model
+Teutonic matron <i>manqu&eacute;e</i>. Each looked capable of frying Frankfort
+sausages to a turn, and knitting woollen socks to a remote eternity. But
+I sought in vain for one kindred soul among them. How horrified they
+would have been, with their fat pudding-faces and big saucer-eyes, had I
+boldly announced myself as an English adventuress!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I spent my first morning in laborious self-education at the Ariadneum
+and the St&auml;del Gallery. I borrowed a catalogue. I wrestled with Van der
+Weyden; I toiled like a galley-slave at Meister Wilhelm and Meister
+Stephan. I have a confused recollection that I saw a number of stiff
+medi&aelig;val pictures, and an alabaster statue of the lady who smiled as she
+rode on a tiger, taken at the beginning of that interesting episode. But
+the remainder of the Institute has faded from my memory.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon I consoled myself for my herculean efforts in the
+direction of culture by going out for a bicycle ride on a hired machine,
+to which end I decided to devote my pocket-money. You will, perhaps,
+object here that my conduct was imprudent. To raise that objection is to
+misunderstand the spirit of these artless adventures. I told you that I
+set out to go round the world; but to go round the world does not
+necessarily mean to circumnavigate it. My idea was to go round by easy
+stages, seeing the world as I went as far as I got, and taking as little
+heed as possible of the morrow. Most of my readers, no doubt, accept
+that philosophy of life on Sundays only; on week-days they swallow the
+usual contradictory economic platitudes about prudential forethought and
+the horrid improvidence of the lower classes. For myself, I am not built
+that way. I prefer to take life in a spirit of pure inquiry. I put on my
+hat: I saunter where I choose, so far as circumstances permit; and I
+wait to see what chance will bring me. My ideal is breeziness.</p>
+
+<p>The hired bicycle was not a bad machine, as hired bicycles go; it jolted
+one as little as you can expect from a common hack; it never stopped at
+a Bier-Garten; and it showed very few signs of having been ridden by
+beginners with an unconquerable desire to tilt at the hedgerow. So<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span> off
+I soared at once, heedless of the jeers of Teutonic youth who found the
+sight of a lady riding a cycle in skirts a strange one&mdash;for in South
+Germany the 'rational' costume is so universal among women cyclists that
+'tis the skirt that provokes unfavourable comment from those jealous
+guardians of female propriety, the street boys. I hurried on at a brisk
+pace past the Palm-Garden and the suburbs, with my loose hair straying
+on the breeze behind, till I found myself pedalling at a good round pace
+on a broad, level road, which led towards a village, by name Fraunheim.</p>
+
+<p>As I scurried across the plain, with the wind in my face, not
+unpleasantly, I had some dim consciousness of somebody unknown flying
+after me headlong. My first idea was that Harold Tillington had hunted
+me down and tracked me to my lair; but gazing back, I saw my pursuer was
+a tall and ungainly man, with a straw-coloured moustache, apparently
+American, and that he was following me on his machine, closely watching
+my action. He had such a cunning expression on his face, and seemed so
+strangely inquisitive, with eyes riveted on my treadles, that I didn't
+quite like the look of him. I put on the pace, to see if I could
+outstrip him, for I am a swift cyclist. But his long legs were too much
+for me. He did not gain on me, it is true; but neither did I outpace
+him. Pedalling my very hardest&mdash;and I can make good time when
+necessary&mdash;I still kept pretty much at the same distance in front of him
+all the way to Fraunheim.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_016" id="ILL_016"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_016.jpg" width="600" height="328" alt="HE KEPT CLOSE AT MY HEELS." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE KEPT CLOSE AT MY HEELS.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Gradually I began to feel sure that the weedy-looking man with the alert
+face was really pursuing me. When I went faster, he went faster too;
+when I gave him a chance to pass me, he kept close at my heels, and
+appeared to be keenly watching the style of my ankle-action. I gathered
+that he was a connoisseur; but why on earth he should<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> persecute me I
+could not imagine. My spirit was roused now&mdash; I pedalled with a will; if
+I rode all day I would not let him go past me.</p>
+
+<p>Beyond the cobble-paved chief street of Fraunheim the road took a sharp
+bend, and began to mount the slopes of the Taunus suddenly. It was an
+abrupt, steep climb; but I flatter myself I am a tolerable mountain
+cyclist. I rode sturdily on; my pursuer darted after me. But on this
+stiff upward grade my light weight and agile ankle-action told; I began
+to distance him. He seemed afraid that I would give him the slip, and
+called out suddenly, with a whoop, in English, 'Stop, miss!' I looked
+back with dignity, but answered nothing. He put on the pace, panting; I
+pedalled away, and got clear from him.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_017" id="ILL_017"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_017.jpg" width="500" height="450" alt="I WAS PULLED UP SHORT BY A MOUNTED POLICEMAN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I WAS PULLED UP SHORT BY A MOUNTED POLICEMAN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>At a turn of the corner, however, as luck would have it, I was pulled up
+short by a mounted policeman. He blocked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> the road with his horse, like
+an ogre, and asked me, in a very gruff Swabian voice, if this was a
+licensed bicycle. I had no idea, till he spoke, that any license was
+required; though to be sure I might have guessed it; for modern Germany
+is studded with notices at all the street corners, to inform you in
+minute detail that everything is forbidden. I stammered out that I did
+not know. The mounted policeman drew near and inspected me rudely. 'It
+is strongly undersaid,' he began, but just at that moment my pursuer
+came up, and, with American quickness, took in the situation. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>
+accosted the policeman in choice bad German. 'I have two licenses,' he
+said, producing a handful. 'The Fr&auml;ulein rides with me.'</p>
+
+<p>I was too much taken aback at so providential an interposition to
+contradict this highly imaginative statement. My highwayman had turned
+into a protecting knight-errant of injured innocence. I let the
+policeman go his way; then I glanced at my preserver. A very ordinary
+modern St. George he looked, with no lance to speak of, and no steed but
+a bicycle. Yet his mien was reassuring.</p>
+
+<p>'Good morning, miss,' he began&mdash;he called me 'Miss' every time he
+addressed me, as though he took me for a barmaid. 'Ex-cuse <i>me</i>, but why
+did you want to speed her?'</p>
+
+<p>'I thought you were pursuing me,' I answered, a little tremulous, I will
+confess, but avid of incident.</p>
+
+<p>'And if I was,' he went on, 'you might have con-jectured, miss, it was
+for our mutual advantage. A business man don't go out of his way unless
+he expects to turn an honest dollar; and he don't reckon on other folks
+going out of theirs, unless he knows he can put them in the way of
+turning an honest dollar with him.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's reasonable,' I answered: for I am a political economist. 'The
+benefit should be mutual.' But I wondered if he was going to propose at
+sight to me.</p>
+
+<p>He looked me all up and down. 'You're a lady of con-siderable personal
+attractions,' he said, musingly, as if he were criticising a horse; 'and
+I want one that sort. That's jest why I trailed you, see? Besides which,
+there's some style about you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Style!' I repeated.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes,' he went on; 'you know how to use your feet; and you have good
+understandings.'</p>
+
+<p>I gathered from his glance that he referred to my nether<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> limbs. We are
+all vertebrate animals; why seek to conceal the fact?</p>
+
+<p>'I fail to follow you,' I answered frigidly; for I really didn't know
+what the man might say next.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 441px;"><a name="ILL_018" id="ILL_018"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_018.jpg" width="441" height="500" alt="SEEMS I DIDN&#39;T MAKE MUCH OF A JOB OF IT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">SEEMS I DIDN&#39;T MAKE MUCH OF A JOB OF IT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'That's so!' he replied. 'It was <i>I</i> that followed <i>you</i>; seems I didn't
+make much of a job of it, either, anyway.'</p>
+
+<p>I mounted my machine again. 'Well, good morning,'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> I said, coldy. 'I am
+much obliged for your kind assistance; but your remark was fictitious,
+and I desire to go on unaccompanied.'</p>
+
+<p>He held up his hand in warning. 'You ain't going!' he cried, horrified.
+'You ain't going without hearing me! I mean business, say! Don't chuck
+away good money like that. I tell you, there's dollars in it.'</p>
+
+<p>'In what?' I asked, still moving on, but curious. On the slope, if need
+were, I could easily distance him.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, in this cycling of yours,' he replied. 'You're jest about the very
+woman I'm looking for, miss. Lithe&mdash;that's what I call you. I kin put
+you in the way of making your pile, I kin. This is a <i>bon&acirc;-fide</i> offer.
+No flies on <i>my</i> business! You decline it? Prejudice! Injures you;
+injures me! Be reasonable anyway!'</p>
+
+<p>I looked round and laughed. 'Formulate yourself,' I said, briefly.</p>
+
+<p>He rose to it like a man. 'Meet me at Fraunheim; corner by the Post
+Office; ten o'clock to-morrow morning,' he shouted, as I rode off, 'and
+ef I don't convince you there's money in this job, my name's not Cyrus
+W. Hitchcock.'</p>
+
+<p>Something about his keen, unlovely face impressed me with a sense of his
+underlying honesty. 'Very well,' I answered,'I'll come, if you follow me
+no further.' I reflected that Fraunheim was a populous village, and that
+only beyond it did the mountain road over the Taunus begin to grow
+lonely. If he wished to cut my throat, I was well within reach of the
+resources of civilisation.</p>
+
+<p>When I got home to the Abode of Blighted Fraus that evening, I debated
+seriously with myself whether or not I should accept Mr. Cyrus W.
+Hitchcock's mysterious invitation. Prudence said <i>no</i>; curiosity said
+<i>yes</i>; I put the question to a meeting of one; and, since I am a
+daughter of Eve, curiosity had it. Carried unanimously. I think I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> might
+have hesitated, indeed, had it not been for the Blighted Fraus. Their
+talk was of dinner and of the digestive process; they were critics of
+digestion. They each of them sat so complacently through the
+evening&mdash;solid and stolid, stodgy and podgy, stuffed comatose images,
+knitting white woollen shawls, to throw over their capacious shoulders
+at <i>table d'h&ocirc;te</i>&mdash;and they purred with such content in their
+middle-aged rotundity that I made up my mind I must take warning
+betimes, and avoid their temptations to adipose deposit. I prefer to
+grow upwards; the Frau grows sideways. Better get my throat cut by an
+American desperado, in my pursuit of romance, than settle down on a rock
+like a placid fat oyster. I am not by nature sessile.</p>
+
+<p>Adventures are to the adventurous. They abound on every side; but only
+the chosen few have the courage to embrace them. And they will not come
+to you: you must go out to seek them. Then they meet you half-way, and
+rush into your arms, for they know their true lovers. There were eight
+Blighted Fraus at the Home for Lost Ideals, and I could tell by simple
+inspection that they had not had an average of half an adventure per
+lifetime between them. They sat and knitted still, like Awful Examples.</p>
+
+<p>If I had declined to meet Mr. Hitchcock at Fraunheim, I know not what
+changes it might have induced in my life. I might now be knitting. But I
+went boldly forth, on a voyage of exploration, prepared to accept aught
+that fate held in store for me.</p>
+
+<p>As Mr. Hitchcock had assured me there was money in his offer, I felt
+justified in speculating. I expended another three marks on the hire of
+a bicycle, though I ran the risk thereby of going perhaps without
+Monday's dinner. That showed my vocation. The Blighted Fraus, I felt
+sure, would have clung to their dinner at all hazards.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>When I arrived at Fraunheim, I found my alert American punctually there
+before me. He raised his crush hat with awkward politeness. I could see
+he was little accustomed to ladies' society. Then he pointed to a close
+cab in which he had reached the village.</p>
+
+<p>'I've got it inside,' he whispered, in a confidential tone. 'I couldn't
+let 'em ketch sight of it. You see, there's dollars in it.'</p>
+
+<p>'What have you got inside?' I asked, suspiciously, drawing back. I don't
+know why, but the word 'it' somehow suggested a corpse. I began to grow
+frightened.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, the wheel, of course,' he answered. 'Ain't you come here to ride
+it?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, the wheel?' I echoed, vaguely, pretending to look wise; but
+unaware, as yet, that that word was the accepted Americanism for a
+cycle. 'And I have come to ride it?'</p>
+
+<p>'Why, certainly,' he replied, jerking his hand towards the cab. 'But we
+mustn't start right here. This thing has got to be kept dark, don't you
+see, till the last day.'</p>
+
+<p>Till the last day! That was ominous. It sounded like monomania. So
+ghostly and elusive! I began to suspect my American ally of being a
+dangerous madman.</p>
+
+<p>'Jest you wheel away a bit up the hill,' he went on, 'out o' sight of
+the folks, and I'll fetch her along to you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Her?' I cried. 'Who?' For the man bewildered me.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, the wheel, miss! <i>You</i> understand! This is business, you bet! And
+you're jest the right woman!'</p>
+
+<p>He motioned me on. Urged by a sort of spell, I remounted my machine and
+rode out of the village. He followed, on the box-seat of his cab. Then,
+when we had left the world well behind, and stood among the sun-smitten
+boles of the pine-trees, he opened the door mysteriously, and produced
+from the vehicle a very odd-looking bicycle.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>It was clumsy to look at. It differed immensely, in many particulars,
+from any machine I had yet seen or ridden.</p>
+
+<p>The strenuous American fondled it for a moment with his hand, as if it
+were a pet child. Then he mounted nimbly. Pride shone in his eye. I saw
+in a second he was a fond inventor.</p>
+
+<p>He rode a few yards on. Next he turned to me eagerly. 'This ma-chine,'
+he said, in an impressive voice, '<i>is</i> pro-pelled <i>by</i> an eccentric.'
+Like all his countrymen, he laid most stress on unaccented syllables.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I knew you were an eccentric,' I said, 'the moment I set eyes upon
+you.'</p>
+
+<p>He surveyed me gravely. 'You misunderstand me, miss,' he corrected.
+'<i>When</i> I say an eccentric, I mean, a crank.'</p>
+
+<p>'They are much the same thing,' I answered, briskly. 'Though I confess I
+would hardly have applied so rude a word as <i>crank</i> to you.'</p>
+
+<p>He looked me over suspiciously, as if I were trying to make game of him,
+but my face was sphinx-like. So he brought the machine a yard or two
+nearer, and explained its construction to me. He was quite right: it
+<i>was</i> driven by a crank. It had no chain, but was moved by a pedal,
+working narrowly up and down, and attached to a rigid bar, which
+impelled the wheels by means of an eccentric.</p>
+
+<p>Besides this, it had a curious device for altering the gearing
+automatically while one rode, so as to enable one to adapt it to the
+varying slope in mounting hills. This part of the mechanism he explained
+to me elaborately. There was a gauge in front which allowed one to sight
+the steepness of the slope by mere inspection; and according as the
+gauge marked one, two, three, or four, as its gradient on the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> scale,
+the rider pressed a button on the handle-bar with his left hand once,
+twice, thrice, or four times, so that the gearing adapted itself without
+an effort to the rise in the surface. Besides, there were devices for
+rigidity and compensation. Altogether, it was a most apt and ingenious
+piece of mechanism. I did not wonder he was proud of it.</p>
+
+<p>'Get up and ride, miss,' he said in a persuasive voice.</p>
+
+<p>I did as I was bid. To my immense surprise, I ran up the steep hill as
+smoothly and easily as if it were a perfectly-laid level.</p>
+
+<p>'Goes nicely, doesn't she?' Mr. Hitchcock murmured, rubbing his hands.</p>
+
+<p>'Beautifully,' I answered. 'One could ride such a machine up Mont Blanc,
+I should fancy.'</p>
+
+<p>He stroked his chin with nervous fingers. 'It ought to knock 'em,' he
+said, in an eager voice. 'It's geared to run up most anything in
+creation.'</p>
+
+<p>'How steep?'</p>
+
+<p>'One foot in three.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's good.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes. It'll climb Mount Washington.'</p>
+
+<p>'What do you call it?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>He looked me over with close scrutiny.</p>
+
+<p>'In Amurrica,' he said, slowly, 'we call it the Great Manitou, because
+it kin do pretty well what it chooses; but in Europe, I am thinking of
+calling it the Martin Conway or the Whymper, or something like that.'</p>
+
+<p>'Why so?'</p>
+
+<p>'Well, because it's a famous mountain climber.'</p>
+
+<p>'I see,' I said. 'With such a machine you'll put a notice on the
+Matterhorn, "This hill is dangerous to cyclists."'</p>
+
+<p>He laughed low to himself, and rubbed his hands again.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> 'You'll do,
+miss,' he said. 'You're the right sort, you are. The moment I seen you,
+I thought we two could do a trade together. Benefits me; benefits you. A
+mutual advantage. Reciprocity is the soul of business. You hev some go
+in you, you hev. There's money in your feet. You'll give these Meinherrs
+fits. You'll take the clear-starch out of them.'</p>
+
+<p>'I fail to catch on,' I answered, speaking his own dialect to humour
+him.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, you'll get there all the same,' he replied, stroking his machine
+meanwhile. 'It was a squirrel, it was!' (He pronounced it <i>squirl</i>.) 'It
+'ud run up a tree ef it wanted, wouldn't it?' He was talking to it now
+as if it were a dog or a baby. 'There, there, it mustn't kick; it was a
+frisky little thing! Jest you step up on it, miss, and have a go at that
+there mountain.'</p>
+
+<p>I stepped up and had a 'go.' The machine bounded forward like an agile
+greyhound. You had but to touch it, and it ran of itself. Never had I
+ridden so vivacious, so animated a cycle. I returned to him, sailing,
+with the gradient reversed. The Manitou glided smoothly, as on a gentle
+slope, without the need for back-pedalling.</p>
+
+<p>'It soars!' he remarked with enthusiasm.</p>
+
+<p>'Balloons are at discount beside it,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Now you want to know about this business, I guess,' he went on. 'You
+want to know jest where the reciprocity comes in, anyhow?'</p>
+
+<p>'I am ready to hear you expound,' I admitted, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, it ain't all on one side,' he continued, eyeing his machine at an
+angle with parental affection. 'I'm a-going to make your fortune right
+here. You shall ride her for me on the last day; and ef you pull this
+thing off, don't you be scared that I won't treat you handsome.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'If you were a little more succinct,' I said, gravely, 'we should get
+forrader faster.'</p>
+
+<p>'Perhaps you wonder,' he put in, 'that with money on it like this, I
+should intrust the job <i>into</i> the hands of a female.' I winced, but was
+silent. 'Well, it's like this, don't you see; ef a female wins, it makes
+success all the more striking and con-spicuous. The world to-day <i>is</i>
+ruled <i>by</i> adver<i>tize</i>ment.'</p>
+
+<p>I could stand it no longer. 'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, with dignity, 'I
+haven't the remotest idea what on earth you are talking about.'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me with surprise. 'What?' he exclaimed, at last. 'And you
+kin cycle like that! Not know what all the cycling world is mad about!
+Why, you don't mean to tell me you're not a pro-fessional?'</p>
+
+<p>I enlightened him at once as to my position in society, which was
+respectable, if not lucrative. His face fell somewhat. 'High-toned, eh?
+Still, you'd run all the same, wouldn't you?' he inquired.</p>
+
+<p>'Run for what?' I asked, innocently. 'Parliament? The Presidency? The
+Frankfort Town Council?'</p>
+
+<p>He had difficulty in fathoming the depths of my ignorance. But by
+degrees I understood him. It seemed that the German Imperial and
+Prussian Royal Governments had offered a Kaiserly and Kingly prize for
+the best military bicycle; the course to be run over the Taunus, from
+Frankfort to Limburg; the winning machine to get the equivalent of a
+thousand pounds; each firm to supply its own make and rider. The 'last
+day' was Saturday next; and the Great Manitou was the dark horse of the
+contest.</p>
+
+<p>Then all was clear as day to me. Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock was keeping his
+machine a profound secret; he wanted a woman to ride it, so that his
+triumph might be the more<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> complete; and the moment he saw me pedal up
+the hill, in trying to avoid him, he recognised at once that I was that
+woman.</p>
+
+<p>I recognised it too. 'Twas a pre-ordained harmony. After two or three
+trials I felt that the Manitou was built for me, and I was built for the
+Manitou. We ran together like parts of one mechanism. I was always famed
+for my circular ankle-action; and in this new machine, ankle-action was
+everything. Strength of limb counted for naught; what told was the power
+of 'clawing up again' promptly. I possess that power: I have prehistoric
+feet: my remote progenitors must certainly have been tree-haunting
+monkeys.</p>
+
+<p>We arranged terms then and there.</p>
+
+<p>'You accept?'</p>
+
+<p>'Implicitly.'</p>
+
+<p>If I pulled off the race, I was to have fifty pounds. If I didn't, I was
+to have five. 'It ain't only your skill, you see,' Mr. Hitchcock said,
+with frank commercialism. 'It's your personal attractiveness as well
+that I go upon. That's an element to consider in business relations.'</p>
+
+<p>'My face is my fortune,' I answered, gravely. He nodded acquiescence.</p>
+
+<p>Till Saturday, then, I was free. Meanwhile, I trained, and practised
+quietly with the Manitou, in sequestered parts of the hills. I also took
+spells, turn about, at the St&auml;del Institute. I like to intersperse
+culture and athletics. I know something about athletics, and hope in
+time to acquire a taste for culture. 'Tis expected of a Girton girl,
+though my own accomplishments run rather towards rowing, punting,
+bicycling.</p>
+
+<p>On Saturday, I confess, I rose with great misgivings. I was not a
+professional; and to find oneself practically backed for a thousand
+pounds in a race against men is a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> trifle disquieting. Still, having
+once put my hand to the plough, I felt I was bound to pull it through
+somehow. I dressed my hair neatly, in a very tight coil. I ate a light
+breakfast, eschewing the fried sausages which the Blighted Fraus pressed
+upon my notice, and satisfying myself with a gently-boiled egg and some
+toast and coffee. I always found I rowed best at Cambridge on the
+lightest diet; in my opinion, the raw beef <i>r&eacute;gime</i> is a serious error
+in training.</p>
+
+<p>At a minute or two before eleven I turned up at the Schiller Platz in my
+short serge dress and cycling jacket. The great square was thronged with
+spectators to see us start; the police made a lane through their midst
+for the riders. My backer had advised me to come to the post as late as
+possible, 'For I have entered your name,' he said, 'simply as Lois
+Cayley. These Deutschers don't think but what you're a man and a
+brother. But I am apprehensive of con-tingencies. When you put in a show
+they'll try to raise objections to you on account of your being a
+female. There won't be much time, though, and I shall rush the
+objections. Once they let you run and win, it don't matter to me whether
+I get the twenty thousand marks or not. It's the adver<i>tize</i>ment that
+tells. Jest you mark my words, miss, and don't you make no mistake about
+it&mdash;the world to-day is governed by adver<i>tize</i>ment.'</p>
+
+<p>So I turned up at the last moment, and cast a timid glance at my
+competitors. They were all men, of course, and two of them were German
+officers in a sort of undress cycling uniform. They eyed me
+superciliously. One of them went up and spoke to the Herr
+Over-Superintendent who had charge of the contest. I understood him to
+be lodging an objection against a mere woman taking part in the race.
+The Herr Over-Superintendent, a bulky official, came up beside me and
+perpended visibly. He bent his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> big brows to it. 'Twas appalling to
+observe the measurable amount of Teutonic cerebration going on under
+cover of his round, green glasses. He was perpending for some minutes.
+Time was almost up. Then he turned to Mr. Hitchcock, having finally made
+up his colossal mind, and murmured rudely, 'The woman cannot compete.'</p>
+
+<p>'Why not?' I inquired, in my very sweetest German, with an angelic
+smile, though my heart trembled.</p>
+
+<p>'Warum nicht? Because the word "rider" in the Kaiserly and Kingly
+for-this-contest-provided decree is distinctly in the masculine gender
+stated.'</p>
+
+<p>'Pardon me, Herr Over-Superintendent,' I replied, pulling out a copy of
+Law 97 on the subject, with which I had duly provided myself, 'if you
+will to Section 45 of the Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act your
+attention turn, you will find it therein expressly enacted that unless
+any clause be anywhere to the contrary inserted, the word "rider," in
+the masculine gender put, shall here the word "rideress" in the feminine
+to embrace be considered.'</p>
+
+<p>For, anticipating this objection, I had taken the precaution to look the
+legal question up beforehand.</p>
+
+<p>'That is true,' the Herr Over-Superintendent observed, in a musing
+voice, gazing down at me with relenting eyes. 'The masculine habitually
+embraces the feminine.' And he brought his massive intellect to bear
+upon the problem once more with prodigious concentration.</p>
+
+<p>I seized my opportunity. 'Let me start, at least,' I urged, holding out
+the Act. 'If I win, you can the matter more fully with the Kaiserly and
+Kingly Governments hereafter argue out.'</p>
+
+<p>'I guess this will be an international affair,' Mr. Hitchcock remarked,
+well pleased. 'It would be a first-rate adver<i>tize</i>ment for the Great
+Manitou ef England and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span> Germany were to make the question into a <i>casus
+belli</i>. The United States could look on, and pocket the chestnuts.'</p>
+
+<p>'Two minutes to go,' the official starter with the watch called out.</p>
+
+<p>'Fall in, then, Fr&auml;ulein Engl&auml;nderin,' the Herr Over-Superintendent
+observed, without prejudice, waving me into line. He pinned a badge with
+a large number, 7, on my dress. 'The Kaiserly and Kingly Governments
+shall on the affair of the starting's legality hereafter on my report
+more at leisure pass judgment.'</p>
+
+<p>The lieutenant in undress uniform drew back a little.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, if this is to be woman's play,' he muttered, 'then can a Prussian
+officer himself by competing not into contempt bring.'</p>
+
+<p>I dropped a little curtsy. 'If the Herr Lieutenant is afraid even to
+<i>enter</i> against an Englishwoman&mdash;&mdash;' I said, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>He came up to the scratch sullenly. 'One minute to go!' called out the
+starter.</p>
+
+<p>We were all on the alert. There was a pause; a deep breath. I was
+horribly frightened, but I tried to look calm. Then sharp and quick came
+the one word 'Go!' And like arrows from a bow, off we all started.</p>
+
+<p>I had ridden over the whole course the day but one before, on a mountain
+pony, with an observant eye and my sedulous American&mdash;rising at five
+o'clock, so as not to excite undue attention; and I therefore knew
+beforehand the exact route we were to follow; but I confess when I saw
+the Prussian lieutenant and one of my other competitors dash forward at
+a pace that simply astonished me, that fifty pounds seemed to melt away
+in the dim abyss of the Ewigkeit. I gave up all for lost. I could never
+make the running against such practised cyclists.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_019" id="ILL_019"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_019.jpg" width="500" height="399" alt="DON&#39;T SCORCH, MISS; DON&#39;T SCORCH." title="" />
+<span class="caption">DON&#39;T SCORCH, MISS; DON&#39;T SCORCH.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>However, we all turned out into the open road which leads across the
+plain and down the Main valley, in the direction of Mayence. For the
+first ten miles or so, it is a dusty level. The surface is perfect; but
+'twas a blinding white thread. As I toiled along it, that broiling June
+day, I could hear the voice of my backer, who followed on horseback,
+exhorting me in loud tones, 'Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch; never
+mind ef you lose sight of 'em. Keep your wind; that's the point. The
+wind, the wind's everything. Let 'em beat you on the level; you'll catch
+'em up fast enough when you get on the Taunus!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>But in spite of his encouragement, I almost lost heart as I saw one
+after another of my opponents' backs disappear in the distance, till at
+last I was left toiling along the bare white road alone, in a
+shower-bath of sunlight, with just a dense cloud of dust rising gray far
+ahead of me. My head swam. It repented me of my boldness.</p>
+
+<p>Then the riders on horseback began to grumble; for by police regulation
+they were not allowed to pass the hindmost of the cyclists; and they
+were kept back by my presence from following up their special champions.
+'Give it up, Fr&auml;ulein, give it up!' they cried. 'You're beaten. Let us
+pass and get forward.' But at the self-same moment, I heard the shrill
+voice of my American friend whooping aloud across the din, 'Don't you do
+nothing of the sort, miss! You stick to it, and keep your wind! It's the
+wind that wins! Them Germans won't be worth a cent on the high slopes,
+anyway!'</p>
+
+<p>Encouraged by his voice, I worked steadily on, neither scorching nor
+relaxing, but maintaining an even pace at my natural pitch under the
+broiling sunshine. Heat rose in waves on my face from the road below; in
+the thin white dust, the accusing tracks of six wheels confronted me.
+Still I kept on following them, till I reached the town of H&ouml;chst&mdash;nine
+miles from Frankfort. Soldiers along the route were timing us at
+intervals with chronometers, and noting our numbers. As I rattled over
+the paved High Street, I called aloud to one of them. 'How far ahead the
+last man?'</p>
+
+<p>He shouted back, good-humouredly: 'Four minutes, Fr&auml;ulein.'</p>
+
+<p>Again I lost heart. Then I mounted a slight slope, and felt how easily
+the Manitou moved up the gradient. From its summit I could note a long
+gray cloud of dust rolling steadily onward down the hill towards
+Hattersheim.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I coasted down, with my feet up, and a slight breeze just cooling me.
+Mr. Hitchcock, behind, called out, full-throated, from his seat, 'No
+hurry! No flurry! Take your time! Take&mdash;your&mdash;time, miss!'</p>
+
+<p>Over the bridge at Hattersheim you turn to the right abruptly, and begin
+to mount by the side of a pretty little stream, the Schwarzbach, which
+runs brawling over rocks down the Taunus from Eppstein. By this time the
+excitement had somewhat cooled down for the moment; I was getting
+reconciled to be beaten on the level, and began to realise that my
+chances would be best as we approached the steepest bits of the mountain
+road about Niederhausen. So I positively plucked up heart to look about
+me and enjoy the scenery. With hair flying behind&mdash;that coil had played
+me false&mdash;I swept through Hofheim, a pleasant little village at the
+mouth of a grassy valley inclosed by wooded slopes, the Schwarzbach
+making cool music in the glen below as I mounted beside it. Clambering
+larches, like huge candelabra, stood out on the ridge, silhouetted
+against the skyline.</p>
+
+<p>'How far ahead the last man?' I cried to the recording soldier. He
+answered me back, 'Two minutes, Fr&auml;ulein.'</p>
+
+<p>I was gaining on them; I was gaining! I thundered across the
+Schwarzbach, by half-a-dozen clamorous little iron bridges, making easy
+time now, and with my feet working as if they were themselves an
+integral part of the machinery. Up, up, up; it looked a vertical ascent;
+the Manitou glided well in its oil-bath at its half-way gearing. I rode
+for dear life. At sixteen miles, Lorsbach; at eighteen, Eppstein; the
+road still rising. 'How far ahead the last man?' 'Just round the corner,
+Fr&auml;ulein!'</p>
+
+<p>I put on a little steam. Sure enough, round the corner I caught sight of
+his back. With a spurt, I passed him&mdash;a dust-covered soul, very hot and
+uncomfortable. He had not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> kept his wind; I flew past him like a
+whirlwind. But, oh, how sultry hot in that sweltering, close valley! A
+pretty little town, Eppstein, with its medi&aelig;val castle perched high on a
+craggy rock. I owed it some gratitude, I felt, as I left it behind, for
+'twas here that I came up with the tail-end of my opponents.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_020" id="ILL_020"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_020.jpg" width="500" height="386" alt="HOW FAR AHEAD THE FIRST MAN?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">HOW FAR AHEAD THE FIRST MAN?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>That one victory cheered me. So far, our route had lain along the
+well-made but dusty high road in the steaming valley; at Nieder-Josbach,
+two miles on, we quitted the road abruptly, by the course marked out for
+us, and turned up a mountain path, only wide enough for two cycles
+abreast&mdash;a path that clambered towards the higher slopes of the Taunus.
+That was arranged on purpose&mdash;for this was no fair-weather show, but a
+practical trial for military bicycles, under the conditions they might
+meet with in actual warfare. It was rugged riding: black walls of pine
+rose steep on either hand; the ground was uncertain. Our path mounted
+sharply from the first; the steeper the better. By the time I had
+reached Ober-Josbach, nestling high among larch-woods, I had distanced
+all but two of my opponents. It was cooler now, too. As I passed the
+hamlet my cry altered.</p>
+
+<p>'How far ahead the first man?'.</p>
+
+<p>'Two minutes, Fr&auml;ulein,'</p>
+
+<p>'A civilian?'</p>
+
+<p>'No, no; a Prussian officer.'</p>
+
+<p>The Herr Lieutenant led, then. For Old England's sake, I felt I must
+beat him.</p>
+
+<p>The steepest slope of all lay in the next two miles. If I were going to
+win I must pass these two there, for my advantage lay all in the climb;
+if it came to coasting, the men's mere weight scored a point in their
+favour. Bump, crash, jolt! I pedalled away like a machine; the Manitou
+sobbed; my ankles flew round so that I scarcely felt them.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span> But the road
+was rough and scarred with waterways&mdash;ruts turned by rain to runnels. At
+half a mile, after a desperate struggle among sand and pebbles, I passed
+the second man; just ahead, the Prussian officer looked round and saw
+me. 'Thunder-weather! you there, Engl&auml;nderin?' he cried, darting me a
+look of unchivalrous dislike, such as only your sentimental German can
+cast at a woman.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_021" id="ILL_021"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_021.jpg" width="500" height="428" alt="I AM HERE BEHIND YOU, HERR LIEUTENANT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I AM HERE BEHIND YOU, HERR LIEUTENANT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Yes, I am here, behind you, Herr Lieutenant,' I answered, putting on a
+spurt; 'and I hope next to be before you.'</p>
+
+<p>He answered not a word, but worked his hardest. So did I. He bent
+forward: I sat erect on my Manitou,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> pulling hard at my handles. Now, my
+front wheel was upon him. It reached his pedal. We were abreast. He had
+a narrow thread of solid path, and he forced me into a runnel. Still I
+gained. He swerved: I think he tried to foul me. But the slope was too
+steep; his attempt recoiled on himself; he ran against the rock at the
+side and almost overbalanced. That second lost him. I waved my hand as I
+sailed ahead. 'Good morning,' I cried, gaily. 'See you again at
+Limburg!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>From the top of the slope I put my feet up and flew down into Idstein. A
+thunder-shower burst: I was glad of the cool of it. It laid the dust. I
+regained the high road. From that moment, save for the risk of
+sideslips, 'twas easy running&mdash;just an undulating line with occasional
+ups and downs; but I saw no more of my pursuers till, twenty-two
+kilometres farther on, I rattled on the cobble-paved causeway into
+Limburg. I had covered the forty-six miles in quick time for a mountain
+climb. As I crossed the bridge over the Lahn, to my immense surprise,
+Mr. Hitchcock waved his arms, all excitement, to greet me. He had taken
+the train on from Eppstein, it seemed, and got there before me. As I
+dismounted at the Cathedral, which was our appointed end, and gave my
+badge to the soldier, he rushed up and shook my hand. 'Fifty pounds!' he
+cried. 'Fifty pounds! How's that for the great Anglo-Saxon race! And
+hooray for the Manitou!'</p>
+
+<p>The second man, the civilian, rode in, wet and draggled, forty seconds
+later. As for the Herr Lieutenant, a disappointed man, he fell out by
+the way, alleging a puncture. I believe he was ashamed to admit the fact
+that he had been beaten in open fight by the objurgated Engl&auml;nderin.</p>
+
+<p>So the end of it was, I was now a woman of means, with fifty pounds of
+my own to my credit.</p>
+
+<p>I lunched with my backer royally at the best inn in Limburg.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT</h3>
+
+<p>My eccentric American had assured me that if I won the great race for
+him I need not be 'skeert' lest he should fail to treat me well; and to
+do him justice, I must admit that he kept his word magnanimously. While
+we sat at lunch in the cosy hotel at Limburg he counted out and paid me
+in hand the fifty good gold pieces he had promised me. 'Whether these
+Deutschers fork out my twenty thousand marks or not,' he said, in his
+brisk way, 'it don't much matter. I shall get the contract, and I shall
+hev gotten the adver<i>tize</i>ment!'</p>
+
+<p>'Why do you start your bicycles in Germany, though?' I asked,
+innocently. 'I should have thought myself there was so much a better
+chance of selling them in England.'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_022" id="ILL_022"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_022.jpg" width="500" height="462" alt="LET THEM BOOM OR BUST ON IT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">LET THEM BOOM OR BUST ON IT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He closed one eye, and looked abstractedly at the light through his
+glass of pale yellow Brauneberger with the other. 'England? Yes,
+England! Well, see, miss, you hev not been raised in business. Business
+is business. The way to do it in Germany is&mdash;to manufacture for
+yourself: and I've got my works started right here in Frankfort. The way
+to do it in England&mdash;where capital's dirt cheap&mdash;is, to sell your patent
+for every cent it's worth to an English company, and let them boom or
+bust on it.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'I see,' I said, catching at it. 'The principle's as clear as mud, the
+moment you point it out to one. An English company will pay you well for
+the concession, and work for a smaller return on its investment than you
+Americans are content to receive on your capital!'</p>
+
+<p>'That's so! You hit it in one, miss! Which will you take, a cigar or a
+cocoa-nut?'</p>
+
+<p>I smiled. 'And what do you think you will call the machine in Europe?'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed hard at me, and stroked his straw-coloured moustache. 'Well,
+what do <i>you</i> think of the <i>Lois Cayley</i>?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'For Heaven's sake, no!' I cried, fervently. 'Mr. Hitchcock, I implore
+you!'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled pity for my weakness. 'Ah, high-toned again?' he repeated, as
+if it were some natural malformation under which I laboured. 'Oh, ef you
+don't like it, miss, we'll say no more about it. I am a gentleman, I am.
+What's the matter with the <i>Excelsior</i>?'</p>
+
+<p>'Nothing, except that it's very bad Latin,' I objected.</p>
+
+<p>'That may be so; but it's very good business.'</p>
+
+<p>He paused and mused, then he murmured low to himself, '"When through an
+Alpine village passed." That's where the idea of the <i>Excelsior</i> comes
+in; see? "It goes up Mont Blanc," you said yourself. "Through snow and
+ice, A cycle with the strange device, Excelsior!"'</p>
+
+<p>'If I were you,' I said, 'I would stick to the name <i>Manitou</i>. It's
+original, and it's distinctive.'</p>
+
+<p>'Think so? Then chalk it up; the thing's done. You may not be aware of
+it, miss, but you are a lady for whose opinion in such matters I hev a
+high regard. <i>And</i> you understand Europe. I do not. I admit it.
+Everything seems to me to be <i>verboten</i> in Germany; and everything else
+to be <i>bad form</i> in England.'</p>
+
+<p>We walked down the steps together. 'What a picturesque old town!' I
+said, looking round me, well pleased. Its beauty appealed to me, for I
+had fifty pounds in pocket, and I had lunched sumptuously.</p>
+
+<p>'<i>Old</i> town?' he repeated, gazing with a blank stare. 'You call this
+town <i>old</i>, do you?'</p>
+
+<p>'Why, of course! Just look at the cathedral! Eight hundred years old, at
+least!'</p>
+
+<p>He ran his eye down the streets, dissatisfied.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, ef this town is old,' he said at last, with a snap of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span> his
+fingers, 'it's precious little for its age.' And he strode away towards
+the railway station.</p>
+
+<p>'What about the bicycle?' I asked; for it lay, a silent victor, against
+the railing of the steps, surrounded by a crowd of inquiring Teutons.</p>
+
+<p>He glanced at it carelessly. 'Oh, the wheel?' he said. 'You may keep
+it.'</p>
+
+<p>He said it so exactly in the tone in which one tells a waiter he may
+keep the change, that I resented the impertinence. 'No, thank you,' I
+answered. 'I do not require it.'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me, open-mouthed. 'What? Put my foot in it again?' he
+interposed. 'Not high-toned enough? Eh? Now, I do regret it. No offence
+meant, miss, nor none need be taken. What I meant to in-sinuate was
+this: you hev won the big race for me. Folks will notice you and talk
+about you at Frankfort. Ef you ride a Manitou, that'll make 'em talk the
+more. A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits me. You get the wheel;
+I get the adver<i>tize</i>ment.'</p>
+
+<p>I saw that reciprocity was the lodestar of his life. 'Very well, Mr.
+Hitchcock,' I said, pocketing my pride, 'I'll accept the machine, and
+I'll ride it.'</p>
+
+<p>Then a light dawned upon me. I saw eventualities. 'Look here,' I went
+on, innocently&mdash;recollect, I was a girl just fresh from Girton&mdash;'I am
+thinking of going on very soon to Switzerland. Now, why shouldn't I do
+this&mdash;try to sell your machines, or, rather, take orders for them, from
+anybody that admires them? A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits
+me. You sell your wheels; I get&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>He stared at me. 'The commission?'</p>
+
+<p>'I don't know what commission means,' I answered, somewhat at sea as to
+the name; 'but I thought it might be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> worth your while, till the Manitou
+becomes better known, to pay me, say, ten per cent on all orders I
+brought you.'</p>
+
+<p>His face was one broad smile. 'I do admire at you, miss,' he cried,
+standing still to inspect me. 'You may not know the meaning of the
+<i>word</i> commission; but durned ef you haven't got a hang of the <i>thing</i>
+itself that would do honour to a Wall Street operator, anyway.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then that's business?' I asked, eagerly; for I beheld vistas.</p>
+
+<p>'Business?' he repeated. 'Yes, that's jest about the size of
+it&mdash;business. Adver<i>tize</i>ment, miss, may be the soul of commerce, but
+Commission's its body. You go in and win. Ten per cent on every order
+you send me!'</p>
+
+<p>He insisted on taking my ticket back to Frankfort. 'My affair, miss; my
+affair!' There was no gainsaying him. He was immensely elated. 'The
+biggest thing in cycles since Dunlop tyres,' he repeated. 'And
+to-morrow, they'll give me advertizements gratis in every newspaper!'</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, he came round to call on me at the Abode of Unclaimed
+Domestic Angels. He was explicit and generous. 'Look here, miss,' he
+began; 'I didn't do fair by you when you interviewed me about your
+agency last evening. I took advantage, <i>at</i> the time, <i>of</i> your youth
+and inexperience. You suggested 10 per cent <i>as</i> the amount of your
+commission on sales you might effect; and I jumped at it. That was
+conduct unworthy <i>of</i> a gentleman. Now, I will not deceive you. The
+ordinary commission on transactions in wheels is 25 per cent. I am going
+to sell the Manitou retail at twenty English pounds apiece. You shall
+hev your 25 per cent on all orders.'</p>
+
+<p>'Five pounds for every machine I sell?' I exclaimed, overjoyed.</p>
+
+<p>He nodded. 'That's so.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I was simply amazed at this magnificent prospect. 'The cycle trade must
+be honeycombed with middlemen's profits!' I cried; for I had my
+misgivings.</p>
+
+<p>'That's so,' he replied again. 'Then jest you take and be a
+middlewoman.'</p>
+
+<p>'But, as a consistent socialist&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'It is your duty to fleece the capitalist and the consumer. A mutual
+benefit&mdash;triangular this time. I get the order, the public gets the
+machine, and you get the commission. I am richer, you are richer, and
+the public is mounted on much the best wheel ever yet invented.'</p>
+
+<p>'That sounds plausible,' I admitted. 'I shall try it on in Switzerland.
+I shall run up steep hills whenever I see any likely customers looking
+on; then I shall stop and ask them the time, as if quite accidentally.'</p>
+
+<p>He rubbed his hands. 'You take to business like a young duck to the
+water,' he exclaimed, admiringly. 'That's the way to rake 'em in! You go
+up and say to them, "Why not investigate? We defy competition. Leave the
+drudgery of walking uphill beside your cycle! Progress is the order of
+the day. Use modern methods! This is the age of the telegraph, the
+telephone, <i>and</i> the typewriter. You kin no longer afford to go on with
+an antiquated, ante-diluvian, armour-plated wheel. Invest in a
+Hill-Climber, the last and lightest product of evvolootion. <i>Is</i> it
+common-sense to buy an old-style, unautomatic, single-geared,
+inconvertible ten-ton machine, when for the same money or less you can
+purchase the self-acting Manitou, a priceless gem, as light as a
+feather, with all the most recent additions and improvements? Be
+reasonable! Get the best!" That's the style to fetch 'em!'</p>
+
+<p>I laughed, in spite of myself. 'Oh, Mr. Hitchcock,' I burst out, 'that's
+not <i>my</i> style at all. I shall say, simply<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span> "This is a lovely new
+bicycle. You can see for yourself how it climbs hills. Try it, if you
+wish. It skims like a swallow. And I get what they call five pounds
+commission on every one I can sell of them!" I think that way of dealing
+is much more likely to bring you in orders.'</p>
+
+<p>His admiration was undisguised. 'Well, I <i>do</i> call you a woman of
+business, miss,' he cried. 'You see it at a glance. That's so. That's
+the right kind of thing to rope in the Europeans. Some originality about
+you. You take 'em on their own ground. You've got the draw on them, you
+hev. I like your system. You'll jest haul in the dollars!'</p>
+
+<p>'I hope so,' I said, fervently; for I had evolved in my own mind, oh,
+such a <i>lovely</i> scheme for Elsie Petheridge's holidays!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me once more. 'Ef only I could get hold of a woman of
+business like you to soar through life with me,' he murmured.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_023" id="ILL_023"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_023.jpg" width="500" height="322" alt="HIS OPEN ADMIRATION WAS GETTING QUITE EMBARRASSING." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HIS OPEN ADMIRATION WAS GETTING QUITE EMBARRASSING.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I grew interested in my shoes. His open admiration was getting quite
+embarrassing.</p>
+
+<p>He paused a minute. Then he went on: 'Well, what do you say to it?'</p>
+
+<p>'To what?' I asked, amazed.</p>
+
+<p>'To my proposition&mdash;my offer.'</p>
+
+<p>'I&mdash; I don't understand,' I stammered out bewildered. 'The 25 per cent,
+you mean?'</p>
+
+<p>'No, the de-votion of a lifetime,' he answered, looking sideways at me.
+'Miss Cayley, when a business man advances a proposition, commercial or
+otherwise, he advances it because he means it. He asks a prompt reply.
+Your time is valuable. So is mine. <i>Are</i> you prepared to consider it?'</p>
+
+<p>'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, drawing back, 'I think you misunderstand. I
+think you do not realise&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'All right, miss,' he answered, promptly, though with a disappointed
+air. 'Ef it kin not be managed, it kin not be managed. I understand your
+European ex-clusiveness. I know your prejudices. But this little episode
+need not antagonise with the normal course of ordinary business. I
+respect you, Miss Cayley. You are a lady <i>of</i> intelligence, <i>of</i>
+initiative, and <i>of</i> high-toned culture. I will wish you good day for
+the present, without further words; and I shall be happy at any time to
+receive your orders on the usual commission.'</p>
+
+<p>He backed out and was gone. He was so honestly blunt that I really quite
+liked him.</p>
+
+<p>Next day, I bade a tearless farewell to the Blighted Fraus. When I told
+those eight phlegmatic souls I was going, they all said 'So!' much as
+they had said 'So!' to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> every previous remark I had been moved to make
+to them. 'So' is capital garnishing: but viewed as a staple of
+conversation, I find it a trifle vapid, not to say monotonous.</p>
+
+<p>I set out on my wanderings, therefore, to go round the world on my own
+account and my own Manitou, which last I grew to love in time with a
+love passing the love of Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock. I carried the strict
+necessary before me in a small waterproof bicycling valise; but I sent
+on the portmanteau containing my whole estate, real or personal, to some
+point in advance which I hoped to reach from time to time in a day or
+two. My first day's journey was along a pleasant road from Frankfort to
+Heidelberg, some fifty-four miles in all, skirting the mountains the
+greater part of the way; the Manitou took the ups and downs so easily
+that I diverged at intervals, to choose side-paths over the wooded
+hills. I arrived at Heidelberg as fresh as a daisy, my mount not having
+turned a hair meanwhile&mdash;a favourite expression of cyclists which
+carries all the more conviction to an impartial mind because of the
+machine being obviously hairless. Thence I journeyed on by easy stages
+to Karlsruhe, Baden, Appenweier, and Offenburg; where I set my front
+wheel resolutely for the Black Forest. It is the prettiest and most
+picturesque route to Switzerland; and, being also the hilliest, it would
+afford me, I thought, the best opportunity for showing off the Manitou's
+paces, and trying my prentice hand as an amateur cycle-agent.</p>
+
+<p>From the quaint little Black Eagle at Offenburg, however, before I
+dashed into the Forest, I sent off a letter to Elsie Petheridge, setting
+forth my lovely scheme for her summer holidays. She was delicate, poor
+child, and the London winters sorely tried her; I was now a millionaire,
+with the better part of fifty pounds in pocket, so I felt I could afford
+to be royal in my hospitality. As I was leaving<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> Frankfort, I had called
+at a tourist agency and bought a second-class circular ticket from
+London to Lucerne and back&mdash; I made it second-class because I am opposed
+on principle to excessive luxury, and also because it was three guineas
+cheaper. Even fifty pounds will not last for ever, though I could scarce
+believe it. (You see, I am not wholly free, after all, from the
+besetting British vice of prudence.) It was a mighty joy to me to be
+able to send this ticket to Elsie, at her lodgings in Bayswater,
+pointing out to her that now the whole mischief was done, and that if
+she would not come out as soon as her summer vacation began&mdash;'twas a
+point of honour with Elsie to say <i>vacation</i>, instead of <i>holidays</i>&mdash;to
+join me at Lucerne, and stop with me as my guest at a mountain
+<i>pension</i>, the ticket would be wasted. I love burning my boats; 'tis the
+only safe way for securing prompt action.</p>
+
+<p>Then I turned my flying wheels up into the Black Forest, growing weary
+of my loneliness&mdash;for it is not all jam to ride by oneself in
+Germany&mdash;and longing for Elsie to come out and join me. I loved to think
+how her dear pale cheeks would gain colour and tone on the hills about
+the Br&uuml;nig, where, for business reasons (so I said to myself with the
+conscious pride of the commission agent), I proposed to pass the greater
+part of the summer.</p>
+
+<p>From Offenburg to Hornberg the road makes a good stiff climb of
+twenty-seven miles, and some 1200 English feet in altitude, with a fair
+number of minor undulations on the way to diversify it. I will not
+describe the route, though it is one of the most beautiful I have ever
+travelled&mdash;rocky hills, ruined castles, huge, straight-stemmed pines
+that clamber up green slopes, or halt in sombre line against steeps of
+broken crag; the reality surpasses my poor powers of description. And
+the people I passed on the road were almost as quaint<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> and picturesque
+in their way as the hills and the villages&mdash;the men in red-lined
+jackets; the women in black petticoats, short-waisted green bodices, and
+broad-brimmed straw hats with black-and-crimson pompons. But on the
+steepest gradient, just before reaching Hornberg, I got my first
+nibble&mdash;strange to say, from two German students; they wore Heidelberg
+caps, and were toiling up the incline with short, broken wind; I put on
+a spurt with the Manitou, and passed them easily. I did it just at first
+in pure wantonness of health and strength; but the moment I was clear of
+them, it occurred to the business half of me that here was a good chance
+of taking an order. Filled with this bright idea, I dismounted near the
+summit, and pretended to be engaged in lubricating my bearings; though
+as a matter of fact the Manitou runs in a bath of oil, self-feeding, and
+needs no looking after. Presently, my two Heidelbergers straggled
+up&mdash;hot, dusty, panting. Woman-like, I pretended to take no notice. One
+of them drew near and cast an eye on the Manitou.</p>
+
+<p>'That's a new machine, Fr&auml;ulein,' he said, at last, with more politeness
+than I expected.</p>
+
+<p>'It is,' I answered, casually; 'the latest model. Climbs hills like no
+other.' And I feigned to mount and glide off towards Hornberg.</p>
+
+<p>'Stop a moment, pray, Fr&auml;ulein,' my prospective buyer called out. 'Here,
+Heinrich, I wish you this new so excellent mountain-climbing machine,
+without chain propelled, more fully to investigate.'</p>
+
+<p>'I am going on to Hornberg,' I said, with mixed feminine guile and
+commercial strategy; 'still, if your friend wishes to look&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_024" id="ILL_024"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_024.jpg" width="700" height="510" alt="MINUTE INSPECTION." title="" />
+<span class="caption">MINUTE INSPECTION.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>They both jostled round it, with <i>achs</i> innumerable, and, after minute
+inspection, pronounced its principle <i>wundersch&ouml;n</i>. 'Might I essay it?'
+Heinrich asked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Oh, by all means,' I answered. He paced it down hill a few yards; then
+skimmed up again.</p>
+
+<p>'It is a bird!' he cried to his friend, with many guttural<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span>
+interjections. 'Like the eagle's flight, so soars it. Come, try the
+thing, Ludwig!'</p>
+
+<p>'You permit, Fr&auml;ulein?'</p>
+
+<p>I nodded. They both mounted it several times. It behaved like a beauty.
+Then one of them asked, 'And where can man of this new so remarkable
+machine nearest by purchase himself make possessor?'</p>
+
+<p>'I am the Sole Agent,' I burst out, with swelling dignity. 'If you will
+give me your orders, with cash in hand for the amount, I will send the
+cycle, carriage paid, to any address you desire in Germany.'</p>
+
+<p>'You!' they exclaimed, incredulously. 'The Fr&auml;ulein is pleased to be
+humorous!'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, very well,' I answered, vaulting into the saddle; 'If you choose to
+doubt my word&mdash;&mdash;' I waved one careless hand and coasted off.
+'Good-morning, meine Herren.'</p>
+
+<p>They lumbered after me on their ramshackled traction-engines. 'Pardon,
+Fr&auml;ulein! Do not thus go away! Oblige us at least with the name and
+address of the maker.'</p>
+
+<p>I perpended&mdash;like the Herr Over-Superintendent at Frankfort. 'Look
+here,' I said at last, telling the truth with frankness, 'I get 25 per
+cent on all bicycles I sell. I am, as I say, the maker's Sole Agent. If
+you order through me, I touch my profit; if otherwise, I do not. Still,
+since you seem to be gentlemen,' they bowed and swelled visibly, 'I will
+give you the address of the firm, trusting to your honour to mention my
+name'&mdash;I handed them a card&mdash;'if you decide on ordering. The price of
+the palfrey is 400 marks. It is worth every pfennig of it.' And before
+they could say more, I had spurred my steed and swept off at full speed
+round a curve of the highway.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I pencilled a note to my American that night from Hornberg, detailing
+the circumstance; but I am sorry to say, for the discredit of humanity,
+that when those two students wrote the same evening from their inn in
+the village to order Manitous, they did <i>not</i> mention my name, doubtless
+under the misconception that by suppressing it they would save my
+commission. However, it gives me pleasure to add <i>per contra</i> (as we say
+in business) that when I arrived at Lucerne a week or so later I found a
+letter, <i>poste restante</i>, from Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock, inclosing an English
+ten-pound note. He wrote that he had received two orders for Manitous
+from Hornberg; and 'feeling considerable confidence that these must
+necessarily originate' from my German students, he had the pleasure of
+forwarding me what he hoped would be the first of many similar
+commissions.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_025" id="ILL_025"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_025.jpg" width="500" height="425" alt="FELT A PERFECT LITTLE HYPOCRITE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">FELT A PERFECT LITTLE HYPOCRITE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I will not describe my further adventures on the still steeper mountain
+road from Hornberg to Triberg and St. Georgen&mdash;how I got bites on the
+way from an English curate, an Austrian hussar, and two unprotected
+American ladies; nor how I angled for them all by riding my machine up
+impossible hills, and then reclining gracefully to eat my lunch (three
+times in one day) on mossy banks at the summit. I felt a perfect little
+hypocrite. But Mr. Hitchcock had remarked that business is business; and
+I will only add (in confirmation of his view) that by the time I reached
+Lucerne, I had sown the good seed in fifteen separate human souls, no
+less than four of which brought forth fruit in orders for Manitous
+before the end of the season.</p>
+
+<p>I had now so little fear what the morrow might bring forth that I
+settled down in a comfortable hotel at Lucerne till Elsie's holidays
+began; and amused myself meanwhile<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> by picking out the hilliest roads I
+could find in the neighbourhood, in order to display my steel steed's
+possibilities to the best advantage.</p>
+
+<p>By the end of July, Elsie joined me. She was half-angry at first that I
+should have forced the ticket and my hospitality upon her.</p>
+
+<p>'Nonsense, dear,' I said, smoothing her hair, for her pale face quite
+frightened me. 'What is the good of a friend if she will not allow you
+to do her little favours?'</p>
+
+<p>'But, Brownie, you said you wouldn't stop and be dependent upon <i>me</i> one
+day longer than was necessary in London.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'That was different,' I cried. 'That was Me! This is You! I am a great,
+strong, healthy thing, fit to fight the battle of life and take care of
+myself; you, Elsie, are one of those fragile little flowers which 'tis
+everybody's duty to protect and to care for.'</p>
+
+<p>She would have protested more; but I stifled her mouth with kisses.
+Indeed, for nothing did I rejoice in my prosperity so much as for the
+chance it gave me of helping poor dear overworked, overwrought Elsie.</p>
+
+<p>We took up our quarters thenceforth at a high-perched little guest-house
+near the top of the Br&uuml;nig. It was bracing for Elsie; and it lay close
+to a tourist track where I could spread my snares and exhibit the
+Manitou in its true colours to many passing visitors. Elsie tried it,
+and found she could ride on it with ease. She wished she had one of her
+own. A bright idea struck me. In fear and trembling, I wrote, suggesting
+to Mr. Hitchcock that I had a girl friend from England stopping with me
+in Switzerland, and that two Manitous would surely be better than one as
+an adver<i>tize</i>ment. I confess I stood aghast at my own cheek; but my
+hand, I fear, was rapidly growing 'subdued to that it worked in.' Anyhow
+I sent the letter off, and waited developments.</p>
+
+<p>By return of post came an answer from my American.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>'<span class="smcap">Dear Miss</span>&mdash;By rail herewith please receive one lady's No. 4
+automatic quadruple-geared self-feeding Manitou, as per your
+esteemed favour of July 27th, for which I desire to thank you. The
+more I see of your way of doing business, the more I do admire at
+you. This is an elegant poster! Two high-toned English ladies,
+mounted on Manitous, careering up the Alps, represent to both of
+us quite a mint of money. The mutual benefit, to me, to you, and
+to the other lady, ought to be simply incalculable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>. I shall be
+pleased at any time to hear of any further developments of your
+very remarkable advertising skill, and I am obliged to you for
+this brilliant suggestion you have been good enough to make to
+me.&mdash;Respectfully,</p></div>
+
+<table style="margin: 0 auto" cellpadding="3" summary=""><tr><td align="left">
+<p>'<span class="smcap">Cyrus W. Hitchcock</span>.</p>
+</td></tr></table>
+
+<p>'What? Am I to have it for nothing, Brownie?' Elsie exclaimed,
+bewildered, when I read the letter to her.</p>
+
+<p>I assumed the airs of a woman of the world. 'Why, certainly, my dear,' I
+answered, as if I always expected to find bicycles showered upon me.
+'It's a mutual arrangement. Benefits him; benefits you. Reciprocity is
+the groundwork of business. <i>He</i> gets the advertisement; <i>you</i> get the
+amusement. It's a form of handbill. Like the ladies who exhibit their
+back hair, don't you know, in that window in Regent Street.'</p>
+
+<p>Thus inexpensively mounted, we scoured the country together, up the
+steepest hills between Stanzstadt and Meiringen. We had lots of nibbles.
+One lady in particular often stopped to look on and admire the Manitou.
+She was a nice-looking widow of forty-five, very fresh and round-faced;
+a Mrs. Evelegh, we soon found out, who owned a charming <i>chalet</i> on the
+hills above Lungern. She spoke to us more than once: 'What a perfect
+dear of a machine!' she cried. 'I wonder if I dare try it!'</p>
+
+<p>'Can you cycle?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'I could once,' she answered. 'I was awfully fond of it. But Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley won't let me any longer.'</p>
+
+<p>'Try it!' I said dismounting. She got up and rode. 'Oh, isn't it just
+lovely!' she cried ecstatically.</p>
+
+<p>'Buy one!' I put in. 'They're as smooth as silk; they cost only twenty
+pounds; and, on every machine I sell, I get five pounds commission.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'I should love to,' she answered; 'but Dr. Fortescue-Langley&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'Who is he?' I asked. 'I don't believe in drug-drenchers.'</p>
+
+<p>She looked quite shocked. 'Oh, he's not that kind, you know,' she put
+in, breathlessly. 'He's the celebrated esoteric faith-healer. He won't
+let me move far away from Lungern, though I'm longing to be off to
+England again for the summer. My boy's at Portsmouth.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then, why don't you disobey him?'</p>
+
+<p>Her face was a study. 'I daren't,' she answered in an awe-struck voice.
+'He comes here every summer; and he does me <i>so</i> much good, you know. He
+diagnoses my inner self. He treats me psychically. When my inner self
+goes wrong, my bangle turns dusky.' She held up her right hand with an
+Indian silver bangle on it; and sure enough, it was tarnished with a
+very thin black deposit. 'My soul is ailing now,' she said in a
+comically serious voice. 'But it is seldom so in Switzerland. The moment
+I land in England the bangle turns black and remains black till I get
+back to Lucerne again.'</p>
+
+<p>When she had gone, I said to Elsie, 'That <i>is</i> odd about the bangle.
+State of health might affect it, I suppose. Though it looks to me like a
+surface deposit of sulphide.' I knew nothing of chemistry, I admit; but
+I had sometimes messed about in the laboratory at college with some of
+the other girls; and I remembered now that sulphide of silver was a
+blackish-looking body, like the film on the bangle.</p>
+
+<p>However, at the time I thought no more about it.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_026" id="ILL_026"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_026.jpg" width="700" height="476" alt="SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>By dint of stopping and talking, we soon got quite intimate with Mrs.
+Evelegh. As always happens, I found out I had known some of her cousins
+in Edinburgh, where I always spent my holidays while I was at Girton.
+She<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> took an interest in what she was kind enough to call my
+originality; and before a fortnight was out, our hotel being
+uncomfortably crowded, she had invited Elsie and myself to stop with her
+at the <i>chalet</i>. We went, and found it a delightful little home. Mrs.
+Evelegh was charming; but we could see at every turn that Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley had acquired a firm hold over her. 'He's so clever,
+you know,' she said; 'and so spiritual! He exercises such strong odylic
+force. He binds my being together. If he misses a visit, I feel my inner
+self goes all to pieces.'</p>
+
+<p>'Does he come often?' I asked, growing interested.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, dear, no,' she answered. 'I wish he did: it would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> be ever so good
+for me. But he's so much run after; I am but one among many. He lives at
+Ch&acirc;teau d'Oex, and comes across to see patients in this district once a
+fortnight. It is a privilege to be attended by an intuitive seer like
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley.'</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Evelegh was rich&mdash;'left comfortably,' as the phrase goes, but with
+a clause which prevented her marrying again without losing her fortune;
+and I could gather from various hints that Dr. Fortescue-Langley,
+whoever he might be, was bleeding her to some tune, using her soul and
+her inner self as his financial lancet. I also noticed that what she
+said about the bangle was strictly true; generally bright as a new pin,
+on certain mornings it was completely blackened. I had been at the
+<i>chalet</i> ten days, however, before I began to suspect the real reason.
+Then it dawned upon me one morning in a flash of inspiration. The
+evening before had been cold, for at the height where we were perched,
+even in August, we often found the temperature chilly in the night, and
+I heard Mrs. Evelegh tell C&eacute;cile, her maid, to fill the hot-water
+bottle. It was a small point, but it somehow went home to me. Next day
+the bangle was black, and Mrs. Evelegh lamented that her inner self must
+be suffering from an attack of evil vapours.</p>
+
+<p>I held my peace at the time, but I asked C&eacute;cile a little later to bring
+me that hot-water-bottle. As I more than half suspected, it was made of
+india-rubber, wrapped carefully up in the usual red flannel bag. 'Lend
+me your brooch, Elsie,' I said. 'I want to try a little experiment.'</p>
+
+<p>'Won't a franc do as well?' Elsie asked, tendering one. 'That's equally
+silver.'</p>
+
+<p>'I think not,' I answered. 'A franc is most likely too hard; it has base
+metal to alloy it. But I will vary the experiment by trying both
+together. Your brooch is Indian<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> and therefore soft silver. The native
+jewellers never use alloy. Hand it over; it will clean with a little
+plate-powder, if necessary. I'm going to see what blackens Mrs.
+Evelegh's bangle.'</p>
+
+<p>I laid the franc and the brooch on the bottle, filled with hot water,
+and placed them for warmth in the fold of a blanket. After <i>d&eacute;je&ucirc;ner</i>,
+we inspected them. As I anticipated, the brooch had grown black on the
+surface with a thin iridescent layer of silver sulphide, while the franc
+had hardly suffered at all from the exposure.</p>
+
+<p>I called in Mrs. Evelegh, and explained what I had done. She was
+astonished and half incredulous. 'How could you ever think of it?' she
+cried, admiringly.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, I was reading an article yesterday about india-rubber in one of
+your magazines,' I answered; 'and the person who wrote it said the raw
+gum was hardened for vulcanising by mixing it with sulphur. When I heard
+you ask C&eacute;cile for the hot-water-bottle, I thought at once: "The sulphur
+and the heat account for the tarnishing of Mrs. Evelegh's bangle."'</p>
+
+<p>'And the franc doesn't tarnish! Then that must be why my other silver
+bracelet, which is English make, and harder, never changes colour! And
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley assured me it was because the soft one was of
+Indian metal, and had mystic symbols on it&mdash;symbols that answered to the
+cardinal moods of my sub-conscious self, and that darkened in sympathy.'</p>
+
+<p>I jumped at a clue. 'He talked about your sub-conscious self?' I broke
+in.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes,' she answered. 'He always does. It's the key-note of his system.
+He heals by that alone. But, my dear, after this, how can I ever believe
+in him?'</p>
+
+<p>'Does he know about the hot-water-bottle?' I asked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Oh, yes; he ordered me to use it on certain nights; and when I go to
+England he says I must never be without one. I see now that was why my
+inner self invariably went wrong in England. It was all just the sulphur
+blackening the bangles.'</p>
+
+<p>I reflected. 'A middle-aged man?' I asked. 'Stout, diplomatic-looking,
+with wrinkles round his eyes, and a distinguished grey moustache,
+twirled up oddly at the corners?'</p>
+
+<p>'That's the man, my dear! His very picture. Where on earth have you seen
+him?'</p>
+
+<p>'And he talks of sub-conscious selves?' I went on.</p>
+
+<p>'He practises on that basis. He says it's no use prescribing for the
+outer man; to do that is to treat mere symptoms: the sub-conscious self
+is the inner seat of diseases.'</p>
+
+<p>'How long has he been in Switzerland?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, he comes here every year. He arrived this season late in May, I
+fancy.'</p>
+
+<p>'When will he visit you again, Mrs. Evelegh?'</p>
+
+<p>'To-morrow morning.'</p>
+
+<p>I made up my mind at once. 'Then I must see him, without being seen,' I
+said. 'I think I know him. He is our Count, I believe.' For I had told
+Mrs. Evelegh and Elsie the queer story of my journey from London.</p>
+
+<p>'Impossible, my dear! Im-possible! I have implicit faith in him!'</p>
+
+<p>'Wait and see, Mrs. Evelegh. You acknowledge he duped you over the
+affair of the bangle.'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 337px;"><a name="ILL_027" id="ILL_027"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_027.jpg" width="337" height="500" alt="THE COUNT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE COUNT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>There are two kinds of dupe: one kind, the commonest, goes on believing
+in its deceiver, no matter what happens; the other, far rarer, has the
+sense to know it has been deceived if you make the deception as clear as
+day to it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span> Mrs. Evelegh was, fortunately, of the rarer class. Next
+morning, Dr. Fortescue-Langley arrived, by appointment. As he walked up
+the path, I glanced at him from my window. It was the Count, not a doubt
+of it. On his way to gull his dupes in Switzerland, he had tried to
+throw in an incidental trifle of a diamond robbery.</p>
+
+<p>I telegraphed the facts at once to Lady Georgina, at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> Schlangenbad. She
+answered, 'I am coming. Ask the man to meet his friend on Wednesday.'</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Evelegh, now almost convinced, invited him. On Wednesday
+morning, with a bounce, Lady Georgina burst in upon us. 'My
+dear, such a journey!&mdash;alone, at my age&mdash;but there, I haven't
+known a happy day since you left me! Oh, yes, I got my
+Gretchen&mdash;unsophisticated?&mdash;well&mdash;h'm&mdash;that's not the word for it: I
+declare to you, Lois, there isn't a trick of the trade, in Paris or
+London&mdash;not a perquisite or a tip that that girl isn't up to. Comes
+straight from the remotest recesses of the Black Forest, and hadn't been
+with me a week, I assure you, honour bright, before she was bandolining
+her yellow hair, and rouging her cheeks, and wearing my brooches, and
+wagering gloves with the hotel waiters upon the Baden races. <i>And</i> her
+language: <i>and</i> her manners! Why weren't you born in that station of
+life, I wonder, child, so that I might offer you five hundred a year,
+and all found, to come and live with me for ever? But this Gretchen&mdash;her
+fringe, her shoes, her ribbons&mdash;upon my soul, my dear, I don't know what
+girls are coming to nowadays.'</p>
+
+<p>'Ask Mrs. Lynn-Linton,' I suggested, as she paused. 'She is a recognised
+authority on the subject.'</p>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady stared at me. 'And this Count?' she went on.
+'So you have really tracked him? You're a wonderful girl, my dear. I
+wish you were a lady's maid. You'd be worth me any money.'</p>
+
+<p>I explained how I had come to hear of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina waxed warm. 'Dr. Fortescue-Langley!' she exclaimed. 'The
+wicked wretch! But he didn't get my diamonds! I've carried them here in
+my hands, all the way from Wiesbaden: I wasn't going to leave them for
+a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span> single day to the tender mercies of that unspeakable Gretchen. The
+fool would lose them. Well, we'll catch him this time, Lois: and we'll
+give him ten years for it!'</p>
+
+<p>'Ten years!' Mrs. Evelegh cried, clasping her hands in horror. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina!'</p>
+
+<p>We waited in Mrs. Evelegh's dining-room, the old lady and I, behind the
+folding doors. At three precisely Dr. Fortescue-Langley walked in. I had
+difficulty in restraining Lady Georgina from falling upon him
+prematurely. He talked a lot of high-flown nonsense to Mrs. Evelegh and
+Elsie about the influences of the planets, and the seventy-five
+emanations, and the eternal wisdom of the East, and the medical efficacy
+of sub-conscious suggestion. Excellent patter, all of it&mdash;quite as good
+in its way as the diplomatic patter he had poured forth in the train to
+Lady Georgina. It was rich in spheres, in elements, in cosmic forces. At
+last, as he was discussing the reciprocal action of the inner self upon
+the exhalations of the lungs, we pushed back the door and walked calmly
+in upon him.</p>
+
+<p>His breath came and went. The exhalations of the lungs showed visible
+perturbation. He rose and stared at us. For a second he lost his
+composure. Then, as bold as brass, he turned, with a cunning smile, to
+Mrs. Evelegh. 'Where on earth did you pick up such acquaintances?' he
+inquired, in a well-simulated tone of surprise. 'Yes, Lady Georgina, I
+have met you before, I admit; but&mdash;it can hardly be agreeable to you to
+reflect under what circumstances.'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina was beside herself. 'You dare?' she cried, confronting
+him. 'You dare to brazen it out? You miserable sneak! But you can't
+bluff me now. I have the police outside.' Which I regret to confess was
+a light-hearted fiction.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'The police?' he echoed, drawing back. I could see he was frightened.</p>
+
+<p>I had an inspiration again. 'Take off that moustache!' I said, calmly,
+in my most commanding voice.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 429px;"><a name="ILL_028" id="ILL_028"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_028.jpg" width="429" height="500" alt="I THOUGHT IT KINDER TO HIM TO REMOVE IT ALTOGETHER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I THOUGHT IT KINDER TO HIM TO REMOVE IT ALTOGETHER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He clapped his hand to it in horror. In his agitation, he managed to
+pull it a little bit awry. It looked so absurd, hanging there, all
+crooked, that I thought it kinder to him<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> to remove it altogether. The
+thing peeled off with difficulty; for it was a work of art, very firmly
+and gracefully fastened with sticking-plaster. But it peeled off at
+last&mdash;and with it the whole of the Count's and Dr. Fortescue-Langley's
+distinction. The man stood revealed, a very palpable man-servant.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina stared hard at him. 'Where have I seen you before?' she
+murmured, slowly. 'That face is familiar to me. Why, yes; you went once
+to Italy as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's courier! I know you now. Your name
+is Higginson.'</p>
+
+<p>It was a come-down for the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, but he swallowed
+it like a man at a single gulp.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, my lady,' he said, fingering his hat nervously, now all was up.
+'You are quite right, my lady. But what would you have me do? Times are
+hard on us couriers. Nobody wants us now. I must take to what I can.' He
+assumed once more the tone of the Vienna diplomat. '<i>Que voulez-vous</i>,
+madame? These are revolutionary days. A man of intelligence must move
+with the Zeitgeist!'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina burst into a loud laugh. 'And to think,' she cried, 'that
+I talked to this lackey from London to Malines without ever suspecting
+him! Higginson, you're a fraud&mdash;but you're a precious clever one.'</p>
+
+<p>He bowed. 'I am happy to have merited Lady Georgina Fawley's
+commendation,' he answered, with his palm on his heart, in his grandiose
+manner.</p>
+
+<p>'But I shall hand you over to the police all the same! You are a thief
+and a swindler!'</p>
+
+<p>He assumed a comic expression. 'Unhappily, not a thief,' he objected.
+'This young lady prevented me from appropriating your diamonds.
+<i>Convey</i>, the wise call it. I wanted to take your jewel-case&mdash;and she
+put me off with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> a sandwich-tin. I wanted to make an honest penny out of
+Mrs. Evelegh; and&mdash;she confronts me with your ladyship, and tears my
+moustache off.'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina regarded him with a hesitating expression. 'But I shall
+call the police,' she said, wavering visibly.</p>
+
+<p>'<i>De grace</i>, my lady, <i>de grace</i>! Is it worth while, <i>pour si peu de
+chose</i>? Consider, I have really effected nothing. Will you charge me
+with having taken&mdash;in error&mdash;a small tin sandwich-case&mdash;value,
+elevenpence? An affair of a week's imprisonment. That is positively all
+you can bring up against me. And,' brightening up visibly, 'I have the
+case still; I will return it to-morrow with pleasure to your ladyship!'</p>
+
+<p>'But the india-rubber water-bottle?' I put in. 'You have been deceiving
+Mrs. Evelegh. It blackens silver. And you told her lies in order to
+extort money under false pretences.'</p>
+
+<p>He shrugged his shoulders. 'You are too clever for me, young lady,' he
+broke out. 'I have nothing to say to you. But Lady Georgina, Mrs.
+Evelegh&mdash;you are human&mdash;let me go! Reflect; I have things I could tell
+that would make both of you look ridiculous. That journey to Malines,
+Lady Georgina! Those Indian charms, Mrs. Evelegh! Besides, you have
+spoiled my game. Let that suffice you! I can practise in Switzerland no
+longer. Allow me to go in peace, and I will try once more to be
+indifferent honest!'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_029" id="ILL_029"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_029.jpg" width="700" height="467" alt="INCH BY INCH HE RETREATED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">INCH BY INCH HE RETREATED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He backed slowly towards the door, with his eyes fixed on them. I stood
+by and waited. Inch by inch he retreated. Lady Georgina looked down
+abstractedly at the carpet. Mrs. Evelegh looked up abstractedly at the
+ceiling. Neither spoke another word. The rogue backed out by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> degrees.
+Then he sprang downstairs, and before they could decide was well out
+into the open.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina was the first to break the silence. 'After all, my dear,'
+she murmured, turning to me, 'there was a deal of sound English
+common-sense about Dogberry!'</p>
+
+<p>I remembered then his charge to the watch to apprehend a rogue. 'How if
+'a will not stand?'</p>
+
+<p>'Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the
+rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.' When
+I remembered how Lady Georgina had hob-nobbed with the Count from Ostend
+to Malines, I agreed to a great extent both with her and with Dogberry.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER</h3>
+
+<p>The explosion and evaporation of Dr. Fortescue-Langley (with whom were
+amalgamated the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, Mr. Higginson the courier,
+and whatever else that versatile gentleman chose to call himself)
+entailed many results of varying magnitudes.</p>
+
+<p>In the first place, Mrs. Evelegh ordered a Great Manitou. That, however,
+mattered little to 'the firm,' as I loved to call us (because it shocked
+dear Elsie so); for, of course, after all her kindness we couldn't
+accept our commission on her purchase, so that she got her machine cheap
+for &pound;15 from the maker. But, in the second place&mdash;I declare I am
+beginning to write like a woman of business&mdash;she decided to run over to
+England for the summer to see her boy at Portsmouth, being certain now
+that the discoloration of her bangle depended more on the presence of
+sulphur in the india-rubber bottle than on the passing state of her
+astral body. 'Tis an abrupt descent from the inner self to a hot-water
+bottle, I admit; but Mrs. Evelegh took the plunge with grace, like a
+sensible woman. Dr. Fortescue-Langley had been annihilated for her at
+one blow: she returned forthwith to common-sense and England.</p>
+
+<p>'What will you do with the <i>chalet</i> while you're away?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span> Lady Georgina
+asked, when she announced her intention. 'You can't shut it up to take
+care of itself. Every blessed thing in the place will go to rack and
+ruin. Shutting up a house means spoiling it for ever. Why, I've got a
+cottage of my own that I let for the summer in the best part of
+Surrey&mdash;a pretty little place, now vacant, for which, by the way, I want
+a tenant, if you happen to know of one: and when it's left empty for a
+month or two&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'Perhaps it would do for me?' Mrs. Evelegh suggested, jumping at it.
+'I'm looking out for a furnished house for the summer, within easy reach
+of Portsmouth and London, for myself and Oliver.'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina seized her arm, with a face of blank horror. 'My dear,'
+she cried. 'For you! I wouldn't dream of letting it to you. A nasty,
+damp, cold, unwholesome house, on stiff clay soil, with detestable
+drains, in the deadliest part of the Weald of Surrey,&mdash;why, you and your
+boy would catch your deaths of rheumatism.'</p>
+
+<p>'Is it the one I saw advertised in the <i>Times</i> this morning, I wonder?'
+Mrs. Evelegh inquired in a placid voice. '"Charming furnished house on
+Holmesdale Common; six bedrooms, four reception-rooms; splendid views;
+pure air; picturesque surroundings; exceptionally situated." I thought
+of writing about it.'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_030" id="ILL_030"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_030.jpg" width="500" height="474" alt="NEVER LEAVE A HOUSE TO THE SERVANTS, MY DEAR!" title="" />
+<span class="caption">NEVER LEAVE A HOUSE TO THE SERVANTS, MY DEAR!</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'That's it!' Lady Georgina exclaimed, with a demonstrative wave of her
+hand. 'I drew up the advertisement myself. Exceptionally situated! I
+should just think it was! Why, my dear, I wouldn't let you rent the
+place for worlds; a horrid, poky little hole, stuck down in the bottom
+of a boggy hollow, as damp as Devonshire, with the paper peeling off the
+walls, so that I had to take my choice between giving it up myself ten
+years ago, or removing to the cemetery; and I've let it ever since to
+City men with large families.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span> Nothing would induce me to allow you and
+your boy to expose yourself to such risks.' For Lady Georgina had taken
+quite a fancy to Mrs. Evelegh. 'But what I was just going to say was
+this: you can't shut your house up; it'll all go mouldy. Houses always
+go mouldy, shut up in summer. And you can't leave it to your servants;
+<i>I</i> know the baggages; no conscience&mdash;no conscience; they'll ask their
+entire families to come and stop with them <i>en bloc</i>, and turn your
+place into a perfect piggery. Why, when I went away from my house in
+town one autumn, didn't I leave a policeman and his wife in charge&mdash;a
+most respectable man&mdash;only he happened to be an Irishman. And what was
+the consequence? My dear, I assure you, I came back unexpectedly from
+poor dear Kynaston's one day&mdash;at a moment's notice&mdash;having quarrelled
+with him over Home Rule or Education or something&mdash;poor dear Kynaston's
+what they call a Liberal, I believe&mdash;got at by that man Rosebery&mdash;and
+there didn't I find all the O'Flanagans, and O'Flahertys, and O'Flynns
+in the neighbourhood camping out in my drawing-room; with a strong
+detachment of O'Donohues, and O'Dohertys, and O'Driscolls lying around
+loose in possession of the library? Never leave a house to the servants,
+my dear! It's positively suicidal. Put in a responsible caretaker of
+whom you know something&mdash;like Lois here, for instance.'</p>
+
+<p>'Lois!' Mrs. Evelegh echoed. 'Dear me, that's just the very thing. What
+a capital idea! I never thought of Lois! She and Elsie might stop on
+here, with Ursula and the gardener.'</p>
+
+<p>I protested that if we did it was our clear duty to pay a small rent;
+but Mrs. Evelegh brushed that aside. 'You've robbed yourselves over the
+bicycle,' she insisted, 'and I'm delighted to let you have it. It's I
+who ought to pay, for you'll keep the house dry for me.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I remembered Mr. Hitchcock&mdash;'Mutual advantage: benefits you, benefits
+me'&mdash;and made no bones about it. So in the end Mrs. Evelegh set off for
+England with C&eacute;cile, leaving Elsie and me in charge of Ursula, the
+gardener, and the <i>chalet</i>.</p>
+
+<p>As for Lady Georgina, having by this time completed her 'cure' at
+Schlangenbad (complexion as usual; no guinea yellower), she telegraphed
+for Gretchen&mdash;'I can't do without the idiot'&mdash;and hung round Lucerne,
+apparently for no other purpose but to send people up the Br&uuml;nig on the
+hunt for our wonderful new machines, and so put money in our pockets.
+She was much amused when I told her that Aunt Susan (who lived, you will
+remember, in respectable indigence at Blackheath)<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> had written to
+expostulate with me on my 'unladylike' conduct in becoming a bicycle
+commission agent. 'Unladylike!&mdash;the Cantankerous Old Lady exclaimed,
+with warmth. 'What does the woman mean? Has she got no gumption? It's
+"ladylike," I suppose, to be a companion, or a governess, or a
+music-teacher, or something else in the black-thread-glove way, in
+London; but not to sell bicycles for a good round commission. My dear,
+between you and me, I don't see it. If you had a brother, now, <i>he</i>
+might sell cycles, or corner wheat, or rig the share market, or do
+anything else he pleased, in these days, and nobody'd think the worse of
+him&mdash;as long as he made money; and it's my opinion that what is sauce
+for the goose can't be far out for the gander&mdash;and <i>vice-vers&acirc;</i>. Besides
+which, what's the use of <i>trying</i> to be ladylike? You <i>are</i> a lady,
+child, and you couldn't help being one; why trouble to be <i>like</i> what
+nature made you? Tell Aunt Susan from me to put <i>that</i> in her pipe and
+smoke it!'</p>
+
+<p>I <i>did</i> tell Aunt Susan by letter, giving Lady Georgina's authority for
+the statement; and I really believe it had a consoling effect upon her;
+for Aunt Susan is one of those innocent-minded people who cherish a
+profound respect for the opinions and ideas of a Lady of Title.
+Especially where questions of delicacy are concerned. It calmed her to
+think that though I, an officer's daughter, had declined upon trade, I
+was mixing at least with the Best People!</p>
+
+<p>We had a lovely time at the <i>chalet</i>&mdash;two girls alone, messing just as
+we pleased in the kitchen, and learning from Ursula how to concoct
+<i>pot-au-feu</i> in the most approved Swiss fashion. We pottered, as we
+women love to potter, half the day long; the other half we spent in
+riding our cycles about the eternal hills, and ensnaring the flies whom
+Lady Georgina dutifully sent up to us. She was our decoy duck: and, in
+virtue of her handle, she decoyed to a marvel. Indeed, I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> sold so many
+Manitous that I began to entertain a deep respect for my own commercial
+faculties. As for Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock, he wrote to me from Frankfort:
+'The world continues to revolve on its axis, the Manitou, and the
+machine is booming. Orders romp in daily. When you ventilated the
+suggestion of an agency at Limburg, I concluded at a glance you had the
+material of a first-class business woman about you; but I reckon I did
+not know what a traveller meant till you started on the road. I am now
+enlarging and altering this factory, to meet increased demands. Branch
+offices at Berlin, Hamburg, Crefeld, and D&uuml;sseldorf. Inspect our stock
+before dealing elsewhere. A liberal discount allowed to the trade. Two
+hundred agents wanted in all towns of Germany. If they were every one of
+them like <i>you</i>, miss&mdash;well, I guess I would hire the town of Frankfort
+for my business premises.'</p>
+
+<p>One morning, after we had spent about a week at the <i>chalet</i> by
+ourselves, I was surprised to see a young man with a knapsack on his
+back walking up the garden path towards our cottage. 'Quick, quick,
+Elsie!' I cried, being in a mischievous mood. 'Come here with the
+opera-glass! There's a Man in the offing!'</p>
+
+<p>'A <i>what</i>?' Elsie exclaimed, shocked as usual at my levity.</p>
+
+<p>'A Man,' I answered, squeezing her arm. 'A Man! A real live Man! A
+specimen of the masculine gender in the human being! Man, ahoy! He has
+come at last&mdash;the lodestar of our existence!'</p>
+
+<p>Next minute, I was sorry I spoke; for as the man drew nearer, I
+perceived that he was endowed with very long legs and a languidly
+poetical bearing. That supercilious smile&mdash;that enticing moustache!
+Could it be?&mdash;yes, it was&mdash;not a doubt of it&mdash;Harold Tillington!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I grew grave at once; Harold Tillington and the situation were serious.
+'What can he want here?' I exclaimed, drawing back.</p>
+
+<p>'Who is it?' Elsie asked; for, being a woman, she read at once in my
+altered demeanour the fact that the Man was not unknown to me.</p>
+
+<p>'Lady Georgina's nephew,' I answered, with a tell-tale cheek, I fear.
+'You remember I mentioned to you that I had met him at Schlangenbad. But
+this is really too bad of that wicked old Lady Georgina. She has told
+him where we lived and sent him up to see us.'</p>
+
+<p>'Perhaps,' Elsie put in, 'he wants to charter a bicycle.'</p>
+
+<p>I glanced at Elsie sideways. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that she
+said it slyly, like one who knew he wanted nothing of the sort. But at
+any rate, I brushed the suggestion aside frankly. 'Nonsense,' I
+answered. 'He wants <i>me</i>, not a bicycle.'</p>
+
+<p>He came up to us, waving his hat. He <i>did</i> look handsome! 'Well, Miss
+Cayley,' he cried from afar, 'I have tracked you to your lair! I have
+found out where you abide! What a beautiful spot! And how well you're
+looking!'</p>
+
+<p>'This is an unexpected&mdash;&mdash;' I paused. He thought I was going to say,
+'pleasure,' but I finished it, 'intrusion.' His face fell. 'How did you
+know we were at Lungern, Mr. Tillington?'</p>
+
+<p>'My respected relative,' he answered, laughing. 'She
+mentioned&mdash;casually&mdash;' his eyes met mine&mdash;'that you were stopping in a
+<i>chalet</i>. And as I was on my way back to the diplomatic mill, I thought
+I might just as well walk over the Grimsel and the Furca, and then on to
+the Gotthard. The Court is at Monza. So it occurred to me ... that in
+passing ... I might venture to drop in and say how-do-you-do to you.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Thank you,' I answered, severely&mdash;but my heart spoke otherwise&mdash;'I do
+very well. And you, Mr. Tillington?'</p>
+
+<p>'Badly,' he echoed. 'Badly, since <i>you</i> went away from Schlangenbad.'</p>
+
+<p>I gazed at his dusty feet. 'You are tramping,' I said, cruelly. 'I
+suppose you will get forward for lunch to Meiringen?'</p>
+
+<p>'I&mdash; I did not contemplate it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Indeed?'</p>
+
+<p>He grew bolder. 'No; to say the truth, I half hoped I might stop and
+spend the day here with you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Elsie,' I remarked firmly, 'if Mr. Tillington persists in planting
+himself upon us like this, one of us must go and investigate the kitchen
+department.'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie rose like a lamb. I have an impression that she gathered we wanted
+to be left alone.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 425px;"><a name="ILL_031" id="ILL_031"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_031.jpg" width="425" height="500" alt="I MAY STAY, MAYN&#39;T I?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">I MAY STAY, MAYN&#39;T I?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He turned to me imploringly. 'Lois,' he cried, stretching out his arms,
+with an appealing air, 'I <i>may</i> stay, mayn't I?'</p>
+
+<p>I tried to be stern; but I fear 'twas a feeble pretence. 'We are two
+girls, alone in a house,' I answered. 'Lady Georgina, as a matron of
+experience, ought to have protected us. Merely to give you lunch is
+almost irregular. (Good diplomatic word, irregular.) Still, in these
+days, I suppose you <i>may</i> stay, if you leave early in the afternoon.
+That's the utmost I can do for you.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are not gracious,' he cried, gazing at me with a wistful look.</p>
+
+<p>I did not dare to be gracious. 'Uninvited guests must not quarrel with
+their welcome,' I answered severely. Then the woman in me broke forth.
+'But indeed, Mr. Tillington, I am glad to see you.'</p>
+
+<p>He leaned forward eagerly. 'So you are not angry with me, Lois? I may
+call you <i>Lois</i>?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I trembled and hesitated. 'I am not angry with you. I&mdash; I like you too
+much to be ever angry with you. And I am glad you came&mdash;just this
+once&mdash;to see me.... Yes,&mdash;when we are alone&mdash;you may call me Lois.'</p>
+
+<p>He tried to seize my hand. I withdrew it. 'Then I may perhaps hope,' he
+began, 'that some day&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>I shook my head. 'No, no,' I said, regretfully. 'You<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> misunderstand me.
+I like you very much; and I like to see you. But as long as you are rich
+and have prospects like yours, I could never marry you. My pride
+wouldn't let me. Take that as final.'</p>
+
+<p>I looked away. He bent forward again. 'But if I were poor?' he put in,
+eagerly.</p>
+
+<p>I hesitated. Then my heart rose, and I gave way. 'If ever you are poor,'
+I faltered,&mdash;'penniless, hunted, friendless&mdash;come to me, Harold, and I
+will help and comfort you. But not till then. Not till then, I implore
+you.'</p>
+
+<p>He leant back and clasped his hands. 'You have given me something to
+live for, dear Lois,' he murmured. 'I will try to be poor&mdash;penniless,
+hunted, friendless. To win you I will try. And when that day arrives, I
+shall come to claim you.'</p>
+
+<p>We sat for an hour and had a delicious talk&mdash;about nothing. But we
+understood each other. Only that artificial barrier divided us. At the
+end of the hour, I heard Elsie coming back by judiciously slow stages
+from the kitchen to the living-room, through six feet of passage,
+discoursing audibly to Ursula all the way, with a tardiness that did
+honour to her heart and her understanding. Dear, kind little Elsie! I
+believe she had never a tiny romance of her own; yet her sympathy for
+others was sweet to look upon.</p>
+
+<p>We lunched at a small deal table in the veranda. Around us rose the
+pinnacles. The scent of pines and moist moss was in the air. Elsie had
+arranged the flowers, and got ready the omelette, and cooked the chicken
+cutlets, and prepared the junket. 'I never thought I could do it alone
+without you, Brownie; but I tried, and it all came right by magic,
+somehow.' We laughed and talked incessantly. Harold was in excellent
+cue; and Elsie took to him. A livelier or merrier table there wasn't in
+the twenty-two<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> Cantons that day than ours, under the sapphire sky,
+looking out on the sun-smitten snows of the Jungfrau.</p>
+
+<p>After lunch, Harold begged hard to be allowed to stop for tea. I had
+misgivings, but I gave way&mdash;he <i>was</i> such good company. One may as well
+be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, says the wisdom of our ancestors: and,
+after all, Mrs. Grundy was only represented here by Elsie, the gentlest
+and least censorious of her daughters. So he stopped and chatted till
+four; when I made tea and insisted on dismissing him. He meant to take
+the rough mountain path over the screes from Lungern to Meiringen, which
+ran right behind the <i>chalet</i>. I feared lest he might be belated, and
+urged him to hurry.</p>
+
+<p>'Thanks, I'm happier here,' he answered.</p>
+
+<p>I was sternness itself. 'You <i>promised</i> me!' I said, in a reproachful
+voice.</p>
+
+<p>He rose instantly, and bowed. 'Your will is law&mdash;even when it pronounces
+sentence of exile.'</p>
+
+<p>Would we walk a little way with him? No, I faltered; we would not. We
+would follow him with the opera-glasses and wave him farewell when he
+reached the Kulm. He shook our hands unwillingly, and turned up the
+little path, looking handsomer than ever. It led ascending through a
+fir-wood to the rock-strewn hillside.</p>
+
+<p>Once, a quarter of an hour later, we caught a glimpse of him near a
+sharp turn in the road; after that we waited in vain, with our eyes
+fixed on the Kulm; not a sign could we discern of him. At last I grew
+anxious. 'He ought to be there,' I cried, fuming.</p>
+
+<p>'He ought,' Elsie answered.</p>
+
+<p>I swept the slopes with the opera-glasses. Anxiety and interest in him
+quickened my senses, I suppose. 'Look here, Elsie,' I burst out at last.
+'Just take this glass and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> have a glance at those birds, down the crag
+below the Kulm. Don't they seem to be circling and behaving most oddly?'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie gazed where I bid her. 'They're wheeling round and round,' she
+answered, after a minute; 'and they certainly <i>do</i> look as if they were
+screaming.'</p>
+
+<p>'They seem to be frightened,' I suggested.</p>
+
+<p>'It looks like it, Brownie,'</p>
+
+<p>'Then he's fallen over a precipice!' I cried, rising up; 'and he's lying
+there on a ledge by their nest. Elsie, we must go to him!'</p>
+
+<p>She clasped her hands and looked terrified. 'Oh, Brownie, how dreadful!'
+she exclaimed. Her face was deadly white. Mine burned like fire.</p>
+
+<p>'Not a moment to lose!' I said, holding my breath. 'Get out the rope and
+let us run to him!'</p>
+
+<p>'Don't you think,' Elsie suggested, 'we had better hurry down on our
+cycles to Lungern and call some men from the village to help us? We are
+two girls, and alone. What can we do to aid him?'</p>
+
+<p>'No,' I answered, promptly, 'that won't do. It would only lose time&mdash;and
+time may be precious. You and I must go; I'll send Ursula off to bring
+up guides from the village.'</p>
+
+<p>Fortunately, we had a good long coil of new rope in the house, which
+Mrs. Evelegh had provided in case of accident. I slipped it on my arm,
+and set out on foot; for the path was by far too rough for cycles. I was
+sorry afterwards that I had not taken Ursula, and sent Elsie to Lungern
+to rouse the men; for she found the climbing hard, and I had difficulty
+at times in dragging her up the steep and stony pathway, almost a
+watercourse. However, we persisted in the direction of the Kulm,
+tracking Harold by his footprints; for he wore mountain boots with
+sharp-headed nails, which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span> made dints in the moist soil, and scratched
+the smooth surface of the rock where he trod on it.</p>
+
+<p>We followed him thus for a mile or two, along the regular path; then of
+a sudden, in an open part, the trail failed us. I turned back, a few
+yards, and looked close, with my eyes fixed on the spongy soil, as keen
+as a hound that sniffs his way after his quarry. 'He went off <i>here</i>,
+Elsie!' I said at last, pulling up short by a spindle bush on the
+hillside.</p>
+
+<p>'How do you know, Brownie?'</p>
+
+<p>'Why, see, there are the marks of his stick; he had a thick one, you
+remember, with a square iron spike. These are its dints; I have been
+watching them all the way along from the <i>chalet</i>!</p>
+
+<p>'But there are so many such marks!'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I know; I can tell his from the older ones made by the spikes of
+alpenstocks because Harold's are fresher and sharper on the edge. They
+look so much newer. See, here, he slipped on the rock; you can know that
+scratch is recent by the clean way it's traced, and the little
+glistening crystals still left behind in it. Those other marks have been
+wind-swept and washed by the rain. There are no broken particles.'</p>
+
+<p>'How on earth did you find that out, Brownie?'</p>
+
+<p>How on earth did I find it out! I wondered myself. But the emergency
+seemed somehow to teach me something of the instinctive lore of hunters
+and savages. I did not trouble to answer her. 'At this bush, the tracks
+fail,' I went on; 'and, look, he must have clutched at that branch and
+crushed the broken leaves as the twigs slipped through his fingers. He
+left the path here, then, and struck off on a short cut of his own along
+the hillside, lower down. Elsie, we must follow him.'</p>
+
+<p>She shrank from it; but I held her hand. It was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> more difficult task
+to track him now; for we had no longer the path to guide us. However, I
+explored the ground on my hands and knees, and soon found marks of
+footsteps on the boggy patches, with scratches on the rock where he had
+leapt from point to point, or planted his stick to steady himself. I
+tried to help Elsie along among the littered boulders and the dwarf
+growth of wind-swept daphne: but, poor child, it was too much for her:
+she sat down after a few minutes upon the flat juniper scrub and began
+to cry. What was I to do? My anxiety was breathless. I couldn't leave
+her there alone, and I couldn't forsake Harold. Yet I felt every minute
+might now be critical. We were making among wet whortleberry thicket and
+torn rock towards the spot where I had seen the birds wheel and circle,
+screaming. The only way left was to encourage Elsie and make her feel
+the necessity for instant action. 'He is alive still,' I exclaimed,
+looking up; 'the birds are crying! If he were dead, they would return to
+their nest&mdash; Elsie, we <i>must</i> get to him!'</p>
+
+<p>She rose, bewildered, and followed me. I held her hand tight, and coaxed
+her to scramble over the rocks where the scratches showed the way, or to
+clamber at times over fallen trunks of huge fir-trees. Yet it was hard
+work climbing; even Harold's sure feet had slipped often on the wet and
+slimy boulders, though, like most of Queen Margherita's set, he was an
+expert mountaineer. Then, at times, I lost the faint track, so that I
+had to diverge and look close to find it. These delays fretted me. 'See,
+a stone loosed from its bed&mdash;he must have passed by here.... That twig
+is newly snapped; no doubt he caught at it.... Ha, the moss there has
+been crushed; a foot has gone by. And the ants on that ant-hill, with
+their eggs in their mouths&mdash;a man's tread has frightened them.' So, by
+some instinctive sense, as if the spirit of my savage ancestors revived
+within me, I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> managed to recover the spoor again and again by a miracle,
+till at last, round a corner by a defiant cliff&mdash;with a terrible
+foreboding, my heart stood still within me.</p>
+
+<p>We had come to an end. A great projecting buttress of crag rose sheer in
+front. Above lay loose boulders. Below was a shrub-hung precipice. The
+birds we had seen from home were still circling and screaming.</p>
+
+<p>They were a pair of peregrine hawks. Their nest seemed to lie far below
+the broken scar, some sixty or seventy feet beneath us.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'He is not dead!' I cried once more, with my heart in my mouth. 'If he
+were, they would have returned. He has fallen, and is lying, alive,
+below there!'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 409px;"><a name="ILL_032" id="ILL_032"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_032.jpg" width="409" height="500" alt="I ADVANCED ON MY HANDS AND KNEES TO THE EDGE OF THE PRECIPICE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I ADVANCED ON MY HANDS AND KNEES TO THE EDGE OF THE PRECIPICE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Elsie shrank back against the wall of rock. I advanced on my hands and
+knees to the edge of the precipice. It was not quite sheer, but it
+dropped like a sea-cliff, with broken ledges.</p>
+
+<p>I could see where Harold had slipped. He had tried to climb round the
+crag that blocked the road, and the ground at the edge of the precipice
+had given way with him; it showed a recent founder of a few inches. Then
+he clutched at a branch of broom as he fell; but it slipped through his
+fingers, cutting them; for there was blood on the wiry stem. I knelt by
+the side of the cliff and craned my head over. I scarcely dared to look.
+In spite of the birds, my heart misgave me.</p>
+
+<p>There, on a ledge deep below, he lay in a mass, half raised on one arm.
+But not dead, I believed. 'Harold!' I cried. 'Harold!'</p>
+
+<p>He turned his face up and saw me; his eyes lighted with joy. He shouted
+back something, but I could not hear it.</p>
+
+<p>I turned to Elsie. 'I must go down to him!'</p>
+
+<p>Her tears rose again. 'Oh, Brownie!'</p>
+
+<p>I unwound the coil of rope. The first thing was to fasten it. I could
+not trust Elsie to hold it; she was too weak and too frightened to bear
+my weight: even if I wound it round her body, I feared my mere mass
+might drag her over. I peered about at the surroundings. No tree grew
+near; no rock had a pinnacle sufficiently safe to depend upon. But I
+found a plan soon. In the crag behind me was a cleft, narrowing
+wedge-shape as it descended. I tied the end of the rope round a stone,
+a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span> good big water-worn stone, rudely girdled with a groove near the
+middle, which prevented it from slipping; then I dropped it down the
+fissure till it jammed; after which, I tried it to see if it would bear.
+It was firm as the rock itself. I let the rope down by it, and waited a
+moment to discover whether Harold could climb. He shook his head, and
+took a notebook with evident pain from his pocket. Then he scribbled a
+few words, and pinned them to the rope. I hauled it up. 'Can't move.
+Either severely bruised and sprained, or else legs broken.'</p>
+
+<p>There was no help for it, then. I must go to him.</p>
+
+<p>My first idea was merely to glide down the rope with my gloved hands,
+for I chanced to have my dog-skin bicycling gloves in my pocket.
+Fortunately, however, I did not carry out this crude idea too hastily;
+for next instant it occurred to me that I could not swarm up again. I
+have had no practice in rope-climbing. Here was a problem. But the
+moment suggested its own solution. I began making knots, or rather
+nooses or loops, in the rope, at intervals of about eighteen inches.
+'What are they for?' Elsie asked, looking on in wonder.</p>
+
+<p>'Footholds, to climb up by.'</p>
+
+<p>'But the ones above will pull out with your weight.'</p>
+
+<p>'I don't think so. Still, to make sure, I shall tie them with this
+string. I <i>must</i> get down to him.'</p>
+
+<p>I threaded a sufficient number of loops, trying the length over the
+edge. Then I said to Elsie, who sat cowering, propped against the crag,
+'You must come and look over, and do as I wave to you. Mind, dear, you
+<i>must</i>! Two lives depend upon it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Brownie, I daren't? I shall turn giddy and fall over!'</p>
+
+<p>I smoothed her golden hair. 'Elsie, dear,' I said gently, gazing into
+her blue eyes, 'you are a woman. A woman<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> can always be brave, where
+those she loves are concerned; and I believe you love me.' I led her,
+coaxingly, to the edge. 'Sit there,' I said, in my quietest voice, so as
+not to alarm her. 'You can lie at full length, if you like, and only
+just peep over. But when I wave my hand, remember, you must pull the
+rope up.'</p>
+
+<p>She obeyed me like a child. I knew she loved me.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 218px;"><a name="ILL_033" id="ILL_033"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_033.jpg" width="218" height="500" alt="I GRIPPED THE ROPE AND LET MYSELF DOWN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I GRIPPED THE ROPE AND LET MYSELF DOWN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I gripped the rope and let myself down, not using the loops to descend,
+but just sliding with hands and knees, and allowing the knots to slacken
+my pace. Half-way down, I will confess, the eerie feeling of physical
+suspense was horrible. One hung so in mid-air! The hawks flapped their
+wings. But Harold was below; and a woman can always be brave where those
+she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> loves&mdash;well, just that moment, catching my breath, I knew I loved
+Harold.</p>
+
+<p>I glided down swiftly. The air whizzed. At last, on a narrow shelf of
+rock, I leant over him. He seized my hand. 'I knew you would come!' he
+cried. 'I felt sure you would find out. Though, <i>how</i> you found out,
+Heaven only knows, you clever, brave little woman!'</p>
+
+<p>'Are you terribly hurt?' I asked, bending close. His clothes were torn.</p>
+
+<p>'I hardly know. I can't move. It may only be bruises.'</p>
+
+<p>'Can you climb by these nooses with my help?'</p>
+
+<p>He shook his head. 'Oh, no. I couldn't climb at all. I must be lifted,
+somehow. You had better go back to Lungern and bring men to help you.'</p>
+
+<p>'And leave you here alone! Never, Harold; never!'</p>
+
+<p>'Then what can we do?'</p>
+
+<p>I reflected a moment. 'Lend me your pencil,' I said. He pulled it
+out&mdash;his arms were almost unhurt, fortunately. I scribbled a line to
+Elsie. 'Tie my plaid to the rope and let it down.' Then I waved to her
+to pull up again.</p>
+
+<p>I was half surprised to find she obeyed the signal, for she crouched
+there, white-faced and open-mouthed, watching; but I have often observed
+that women are almost always brave in the great emergencies. She pinned
+on the plaid and let it down with commendable quickness. I doubled it,
+and tied firm knots in the four corners, so as to make it into a sort of
+basket; then I fastened it at each corner with a piece of the rope,
+crossed in the middle, till it looked like one of the cages they use in
+mills for letting down sacks with. As soon as it was finished, I said,
+'Now, just try to crawl into it.'</p>
+
+<p>He raised himself on his arms and crawled in with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span> difficulty. His legs
+dragged after him. I could see he was in great pain. But still, he
+managed it.</p>
+
+<p>I planted my foot in the first noose. 'You must sit still,' I said,
+breathless. 'I am going back to haul you up.'</p>
+
+<p>'Are you strong enough, Lois?'</p>
+
+<p>'With Elsie to help me, yes. I often stroked a four at Girton.'</p>
+
+<p>'I can trust you,' he answered. It thrilled me that he said so.</p>
+
+<p>I began my hazardous journey; I mounted the rope by the nooses&mdash;one,
+two, three, four, counting them as I mounted. I did not dare to look up
+or down as I did so, lest I should grow giddy and fall, but kept my eyes
+fixed firmly always on the one noose in front of me. My brain swam: the
+rope swayed and creaked. Twenty, thirty, forty! Foot after foot, I
+slipped them in mechanically, taking up with me the longer coil whose
+ends were attached to the cage and Harold. My hands trembled; it was
+ghastly, swinging there between earth and heaven. Forty-five, forty-six,
+forty-seven&mdash; I knew there were forty-eight of them. At last, after some
+weeks, as it seemed, I reached the summit. Tremulous and half dead, I
+prised myself over the edge with my hands, and knelt once more on the
+hill beside Elsie.</p>
+
+<p>She was white, but attentive. 'What next, Brownie?' Her voice quivered.</p>
+
+<p>I looked about me. I was too faint and shaky after my perilous ascent to
+be fit for work, but there was no help for it. What could I use as a
+pulley? Not a tree grew near; but the stone jammed in the fissure might
+once more serve my purpose. I tried it again. It had borne my weight;
+was it strong enough to bear the precious weight of Harold? I tugged at
+it, and thought so. I passed the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span> rope round it like a pulley, and then
+tied it about my own waist. I had a happy thought: I could use myself as
+a windlass. I turned on my feet for a pivot. Elsie helped me to pull.
+'Up you go!' I cried, cheerily. We wound slowly, for fear of shaking
+him. Bit by bit, I could feel the cage rise gradually from the ground;
+its weight, taken so, with living capstan and stone axle, was less than
+I should have expected. But the pulley helped us, and Elsie, spurred by
+need, put forth more reserve of nervous strength than I could easily
+have believed lay in that tiny body. I twisted myself round and round,
+close to the edge, so as to look over from time to time, but not at all
+quickly, for fear of dizziness. The rope strained and gave. It was a
+deadly ten minutes of suspense and anxiety. Twice or thrice as I looked
+down I saw a spasm of pain break over Harold's face; but when I paused
+and glanced inquiringly, he motioned me to go on with my venturesome
+task. There was no turning back now. We had almost got him up when the
+rope at the edge began to creak ominously.</p>
+
+<p>It was straining at the point where it grated against the brink of the
+precipice. My heart gave a leap. If the rope broke, all was over.</p>
+
+<p>With a sudden dart forward, I seized it with my hands, below the part
+that gave; then&mdash;one fierce little run back&mdash;and I brought him level
+with the edge. He clutched at Elsie's hand. I turned thrice round, to
+wind the slack about my body. The taut rope cut deep into my flesh; but
+nothing mattered now, except to save him. 'Catch the cloak, Elsie!' I
+cried; 'catch it: pull him gently in!' Elsie caught it and pulled him
+in, with wonderful pluck and calmness. We hauled him over the edge. He
+lay safe on the bank. Then we all three broke down and cried like
+children together. I took his hand in mine and held it in silence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>When we found words again I drew a deep breath, and said, simply, 'How
+did you manage to do it?'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 245px;"><a name="ILL_034" id="ILL_034"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_034.jpg" width="245" height="500" alt="I ROLLED AND SLID DOWN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I ROLLED AND SLID DOWN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'I tried to clamber past the wall that barred the way there by sheer
+force of stride&mdash;you know, my legs are long&mdash;and I somehow overbalanced
+myself. But I didn't exactly fall&mdash;if I had fallen, I must have been
+killed; I rolled and slid down, clutching at the weeds in the crannies
+as I slipped, and stumbling over the projections, without quite losing
+my foothold on the ledges, till I found myself brought up short with a
+bump at the end of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you think no bones are broken?'</p>
+
+<p>'I can't feel sure. It hurts me horribly to move. I fancy just at first
+I must<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> have fainted. But I'm inclined to guess I'm only sprained and
+bruised and sore all over. Why, you're as bad as me, I believe. See,
+your dear hands are all torn and bleeding!'</p>
+
+<p>'How are we ever to get him back again, Brownie?' Elsie put in. She was
+paler than ever now, and prostrate with the after-effects of her
+unwonted effort.</p>
+
+<p>'You are a practical woman, Elsie,' I answered. 'Stop with him here a
+minute or two. I'll climb up the hillside and halloo for Ursula and the
+men from Lungern.'</p>
+
+<p>I climbed and hallooed. In a few minutes, worn out as I was, I had
+reached the path above and attracted their attention. They hurried down
+to where Harold lay, and, using my cage for a litter, slung on a young
+fir-trunk, carried him back between them across their shoulders to the
+village. He pleaded hard to be allowed to remain at the <i>chalet</i>, and
+Elsie joined her prayers to his; but, there, I was adamant. It was not
+so much what people might say that I minded, but a deeper difficulty.
+For if once I nursed him through this trouble, how could I or any woman
+in my place any longer refuse him? So I passed him ruthlessly on to
+Lungern (though my heart ached for it), and telegraphed at once to his
+nearest relative, Lady Georgina, to come up and take care of him.</p>
+
+<p>He recovered rapidly. Though sore and shaken, his worst hurts, it turned
+out, were sprains; and in three or four days he was ready to go on
+again. I called to see him before he left. I dreaded the interview; for
+one's own heart is a hard enemy to fight so long: but how could I let
+him go without one word of farewell to him?</p>
+
+<p>'After this, Lois,' he said, taking my hand in his&mdash;and I was weak
+enough, for a moment, to let it lie there&mdash;'you <i>cannot</i> say No to me!'</p>
+
+<p>Oh, how I longed to fling myself upon him and cry out,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span> 'No, Harold, I
+cannot! I love you too dearly!' But his future and Marmaduke Ashurst's
+half million restrained me: for his sake and for my own I held myself in
+courageously. Though, indeed, it needed some courage and self-control. I
+withdrew my hand slowly. 'Do you remember,' I said, 'you asked me that
+first day at Schlangenbad'&mdash;it was an epoch to me now, that first
+day&mdash;'whether I was medi&aelig;val or modern? And I answered, "Modern, I
+hope." And you said, "That's well!"&mdash; You see, I don't forget the least
+things you say to me. Well, because I am modern&mdash;'my lips trembled and
+belied me&mdash;'I can answer you No. I can even now refuse you. The
+old-fashioned girl, the medi&aelig;val girl, would have held that because she
+saved your life (if I <i>did</i> save your life, which is a matter of
+opinion) she was bound to marry you. But <i>I</i> am modern, and I see things
+differently. If there were reasons at Schlangenbad which made it
+impracticable for me to accept you&mdash;though my heart pleaded hard&mdash;I do
+not deny it&mdash;those reasons cannot have disappeared merely because you
+have chosen to fall over a precipice, and I have pulled you up again. My
+decision was founded, you see, not on passing accidents of situation,
+but on permanent considerations. Nothing has happened in the last three
+days to affect those considerations. We are still ourselves: you, rich;
+I, a penniless adventuress. I could not accept you when you asked me at
+Schlangenbad. On just the same grounds, I cannot accept you now. I do
+not see how the unessential fact that I made myself into a winch to pull
+you up the cliff, and that I am still smarting for it&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>He looked me all over comically. 'How severe we are!' he cried, in a
+bantering tone. 'And how extremely Girtony! A System of Logic,
+Ratiocinative and Inductive, by Lois Cayley! What a pity we didn't take
+a professor's chair.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> My child that isn't <i>you</i>! It's not yourself at
+all! It's an attempt to be unnaturally and unfemininely reasonable.'</p>
+
+<p>Logic fled. I broke down utterly. 'Harold,' I cried, rising, 'I love
+you! I admit I love you! But I will never marry you&mdash;while you have
+those thousands.'</p>
+
+<p>'I haven't got them yet!'</p>
+
+<p>'Or the chance of inheriting them.'</p>
+
+<p>He smothered my hand with kisses&mdash;for I withdrew my face. 'If you admit
+you love me,' he cried, quite joyously, 'then all is well. When once a
+woman admits that, the rest is but a matter of time&mdash;and, Lois, I can
+wait a thousand years for you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Not in my case,' I answered through my tears. 'Not in my case, Harold!
+I am a modern woman, and what I say I mean. I will renew my promise. If
+ever you are poor and friendless, come to me; I am yours. Till then,
+don't harrow me by asking me the impossible!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I tore myself away. At the hall door, Lady Georgina intercepted me. She
+glanced at my red eyes. 'Then you have taken him?' she cried, seizing my
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>I shook my head firmly. I could hardly speak. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I
+answered, in a choking voice. 'I have refused him again. I will not
+stand in his way. I will not ruin his prospects.'</p>
+
+<p>She drew back and let her chin drop. 'Well, of all the hard-hearted,
+cruel, obdurate young women I ever saw in my born days, if you're not
+the very hardest&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;">
+<img src="images/ill_035.jpg" width="700" height="258" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>I half ran from the house. I hurried home to the <i>chalet</i>. There, I
+dashed into my own room, locked the door behind me, flung myself wildly
+on my bed, and, burying my face in my hands, had a good, long,
+hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate cry&mdash;exactly like any other medi&aelig;val
+woman. It's all very well being modern; but my experience is that, when
+it comes to a man one loves&mdash;well, the Middle Ages are still horribly
+strong within us.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN</h3>
+
+<p>When Elsie's holidays&mdash;I beg pardon, vacation&mdash;came to an end, she
+proposed to return to her High School in London. Zeal for the higher
+mathematics devoured her. But she still looked so frail, and coughed so
+often&mdash;a perfect <i>Campo Santo</i> of a cough&mdash;in spite of her summer of
+open-air exercise, that I positively worried her into consulting a
+doctor&mdash;not one of the Fortescue-Langley order. The report he gave was
+mildly unfavourable. He spoke disrespectfully of the apex of her right
+lung. It was not exactly tubercular, he remarked, but he 'feared
+tuberculosis'&mdash;excuse the long words; the phrase was his, not mine; I
+repeat <i>verbatim</i>. He vetoed her exposing herself to a winter in London
+in her present unstable condition. Davos? Well, no. <i>Not</i> Davos: with
+deliberative thumb and finger on close-shaven chin. He judged her too
+delicate for such drastic remedies. Those high mountain stations suited
+best the robust invalid, who had dropped by accident into casual
+phthisis. For Miss Petheridge's case&mdash;looking wise&mdash;he would not
+recommend the Riviera, either: too stimulating, too exciting. What this
+young lady needed most was rest: rest in some agreeable southern town,
+some city of the soul&mdash;say Rome or Florence&mdash;where she might find much
+to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span> interest her, and might forget the apex of her right lung in the new
+world of art that opened around her.</p>
+
+<p>'Very well,' I said, promptly; 'that's settled, Elsie. The apex and you
+shall winter in Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>'But, Brownie, can we afford it?'</p>
+
+<p>'Afford it?' I echoed. 'Goodness gracious, my dear child, what a
+bourgeois sentiment! Your medical attendant says to you, "Go to
+Florence": and to Florence you must go; there's no getting out of it.
+Why, even the swallows fly south when their medical attendant tells them
+England is turning a trifle too cold for them.'</p>
+
+<p>'But what will Miss Latimer say? She depends upon me to come back at the
+beginning of term. She <i>must</i> have <i>somebody</i> to undertake the higher
+mathematics.'</p>
+
+<p>'And she will get somebody, dear,' I answered, calmly. 'Don't trouble
+your sweet little head about that. An eminent statistician has
+calculated that five hundred and thirty duly qualified young women are
+now standing four-square in a solid phalanx in the streets of London,
+all agog to teach the higher mathematics to anyone who wants them at a
+moment's notice. Let Miss Latimer take her pick of the five hundred and
+thirty. I'll wire to her at once: "Elsie Petheridge unable through ill
+health to resume her duties. Ordered to Florence. Resigns post. Engage
+substitute." <i>That's</i> the way to do it.'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie clasped her small white hands in the despair of the woman who
+considers herself indispensable&mdash;as if we were any of us indispensable!
+'But, dearest, the girls! They'll be <i>so</i> disappointed!'</p>
+
+<p>'They'll get over it,' I answered, grimly. 'There are worse
+disappointments in store for them in life&mdash; Which is a fine old crusted
+platitude worthy of Aunt Susan. Anyhow, I've decided. Look here, Elsie:
+I stand to you <i>in loco<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span> parentis</i>.' I have already remarked, I think,
+that she was three years my senior; but I was so pleased with this
+phrase that I repeated it lovingly. 'I stand to you, dear, <i>in loco
+parentis</i>. Now, I can't let you endanger your precious health by
+returning to town and Miss Latimer this winter. Let us be categorical. I
+go to Florence; you go with me.'</p>
+
+<p>'What shall we live upon?' Elsie suggested, piteously.</p>
+
+<p>'Our fellow-creatures, as usual,' I answered, with prompt callousness.
+'I object to these base utilitarian considerations being imported into
+the discussion of a serious question. Florence is the city of art; as a
+woman of culture, it behoves you to revel in it. Your medical attendant
+sends you there; as a patient and an invalid, you can revel with a clear
+conscience. Money? Well, money is a secondary matter. All philosophies
+and all religions agree that money is mere dross, filthy lucre. Rise
+superior to it. We have a fair sum in hand to the credit of the firm; we
+can pick up some more, I suppose, in Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>'How?'</p>
+
+<p>I reflected. 'Elsie,' I said, 'you are deficient in Faith&mdash;which is one
+of the leading Christian graces. My mission in life is to correct that
+want in your spiritual nature. Now, observe how beautifully all these
+events work in together! The winter comes, when no man can bicycle,
+especially in Switzerland. Therefore, what is the use of my stopping on
+here after October? Again, in pursuance of my general plan of going
+round the world, I must get forward to Italy. Your medical attendant
+considerately orders you at the same time to Florence. In Florence we
+shall still have chances of selling Manitous, though possibly, I admit,
+in diminished numbers. I confess at once that people come to Switzerland
+to tour, and are therefore liable to need our machines; while they go to
+Florence to look at pictures, and a bicycle would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> doubtless prove
+inconvenient in the Uffizi or the Pitti. Still, we <i>may</i> sell a few. But
+I descry another opening. You write shorthand, don't you?'</p>
+
+<p>'A little, dear; only ninety words a minute.'</p>
+
+<p>'<i>That's</i> not business. Advertise yourself, <i>&agrave; la</i> Cyrus Hitchcock! Say
+boldly, "I write shorthand." Leave the world to ask, "How fast?" It will
+ask it quick enough without your suggesting it. Well, my idea is this.
+Florence is a town teeming with English tourists of the cultivated
+classes&mdash;men of letters, painters, antiquaries, art-critics. I suppose
+even art-critics may be classed as cultivated. Such people are sure to
+need literary aid. We exist, to supply it. We will set up the Florentine
+School of Stenography and Typewriting. We'll buy a couple of
+typewriters.'</p>
+
+<p>'How can we pay for them, Brownie?'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_036" id="ILL_036"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_036.jpg" width="600" height="462" alt="THERE&#39;S ENTERPRISE FOR YOU!" title="" />
+<span class="caption">THERE&#39;S ENTERPRISE FOR YOU!</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I gazed at her in despair. 'Elsie,' I cried, clapping my hand to my
+head, 'you are not practical. Did I ever suggest we should pay for them?
+I said merely, buy them. Base is the slave that pays. That's
+Shakespeare. And we all know Shakespeare is the mirror of nature. Argal,
+it would be unnatural to pay for a typewriter. We will hire a room in
+Florence (on tick, of course), and begin operations. Clients will flock
+in; and we tide over the winter. <i>There's</i> enterprise for you!' And I
+struck an attitude.</p>
+
+<p>Elsie's face looked her doubts. I walked across to Mrs. Evelegh's desk,
+and began writing a letter. It occurred to me that Mr. Hitchcock, who
+was a man of business, might be able to help a woman of business in this
+delicate matter. I put the point to him fairly and squarely, without
+circumlocution; we were going to start an English typewriting office in
+Florence; what was the ordinary way for people to become possessed of a
+typewriting machine, without the odious and mercenary preliminary of
+paying for it?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> The answer came back with commendable promptitude.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Dear Miss</span>,&mdash;Your spirit of enterprise is really remarkable! I have
+forwarded your letter to my friends of the Spread Eagle
+Typewriting and Phonograph Company, Limited, of New York City,
+informing them of your desire to open an agency for the sale of
+their machines in Florence, Italy, and giving them my estimate of
+your business capacities. I have advised their London house to
+present you with two complimentary machines for your own use and
+your partner's, and also to supply a number of others for disposal
+in the city of Florence. If you would further like to undertake an
+agency for the development of the trade in salt codfish<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> (large
+quantities of which are, of course, consumed in Catholic Europe),
+I could put you into communication with my respected friends,
+Messrs. Abel Woodward and Co., exporters of preserved provisions,
+St John, Newfoundland. But, perhaps in this suggestion I am not
+sufficiently high-toned.&mdash;Respectfully, <span class="smcap">Cyrus W. Hitchcock</span>.</p></div>
+
+<p>The moment had arrived for Elsie to be firm. 'I have no prejudice
+against trade, Brownie,' she observed emphatically; 'but I do draw the
+line at salt fish.'</p>
+
+<p>'So do I, dear,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>She sighed her relief. I really believe she half expected to find me
+trotting about Florence with miscellaneous samples of Messrs. Abel
+Woodward's esteemed productions protruding from my pocket.</p>
+
+<p>So to Florence we went. My first idea was to travel by the Brenner route
+through the Tyrol; but a queer little episode which met us at the outset
+on the Austrian frontier put a check to this plan. We cycled to the
+border, sending our trunks on by rail. When we went to claim them at the
+Austrian Custom-house, we were told they were detained 'for political
+reasons.'</p>
+
+<p>'Political reasons?' I exclaimed, nonplussed.</p>
+
+<p>'Even so, Fr&auml;ulein. Your boxes contain revolutionary literature.'</p>
+
+<p>'Some mistake!' I cried, warmly. I am but a drawing-room Socialist.</p>
+
+<p>'Not at all; look here.' And he drew a small book out of Elsie's
+portmanteau.</p>
+
+<p>What? Elsie a conspirator? Elsie in league with Nihilists? So mild and
+so meek! I could never have believed it. I took the book in my hands and
+read the title, 'Revolution of the Heavenly Bodies.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'But this is astronomy,' I burst out. 'Don't you see? Sun-and-star
+circling. The revolution of the planets.'</p>
+
+<p>'It matters not, Fr&auml;ulein. Our instructions are strict. We have orders
+to intercept <i>all</i> revolutionary literature without distinction.'</p>
+
+<p>'Come, Elsie,' I said, firmly, 'this is <i>too</i> ridiculous. Let us give
+them a clear berth, these Kaiserly-Kingly blockheads!' So we registered
+our luggage right back to Lucerne, and cycled over the Gotthard.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 474px;"><a name="ILL_037" id="ILL_037"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_037.jpg" width="474" height="500" alt="PAINTING THE SIGN-BOARD." title="" />
+<span class="caption">PAINTING THE SIGN-BOARD.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>When at last, by leisurely stages, we arrived at Florence, I felt there
+was no use in doing things by halves. If you are going to start the
+Florentine School of Stenography and Typewriting, you may as well start
+it on a proper basis. So I took sunny rooms at a nice hotel for myself
+and Elsie, and hired a ground floor in a convenient house, close under
+the shadow of the great marble Campanile. (Considerations of space
+compel me to curtail the usual gush about Arnolfo and Giotto.) This was
+our office. When I had got a Tuscan painter to plant our flag in the
+shape of a sign-board, I sailed forth into the street and inspected it
+from outside with a swelling heart. It is true, the Tuscan painter's
+unaccountable predilection for the rare spellings 'Scool' without an <i>h</i>
+and 'Stenografy' with an <i>f</i>, somewhat damped my exuberant pride for the
+moment; but I made him take the board back and correct his Italianate
+English. As soon as all was fitted up with desk and tables we reposed
+upon our laurels, and waited only for customers in shoals to pour in
+upon us. <i>I</i> called them 'customers'; Elsie maintained that we ought
+rather to say 'clients.' Being by temperament averse to sectarianism, I
+did not dispute the point with her.</p>
+
+<p>We reposed on our laurels&mdash;in vain. Neither customers nor clients seemed
+in any particular hurry to disturb our leisure.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I confess I took this ill. It was a rude awakening. I had begun to
+regard myself as the special favourite of a fairy godmother; it
+surprised me to find that any undertaking of mine did not succeed
+immediately. However, reflecting that my fairy godmother's name was
+really Enterprise, I recalled Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock's advice, and
+advertised.</p>
+
+<p>'There's one good thing about Florence, Elsie,' I said, just to keep up
+her courage. 'When the customers <i>do</i> come, they'll be interesting
+people, and it will be interesting work. Artistic work, don't you
+know&mdash;Fra Angelico, and Della Robbia, and all that sort of thing; or
+else fresh light on Dante and Petrarch!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'When they <i>do</i> come, no doubt,' Elsie answered, dubiously. 'But do you
+know, Brownie, it strikes me there isn't quite that literary stir and
+ferment one might expect in Florence. Dante and Petrarch appear to be
+dead. The distinguished authors fail to stream in upon us as one
+imagined with manuscripts to copy.'</p>
+
+<p>I affected an air of confidence&mdash;for I had sunk capital in the concern
+(that's business-like&mdash;sunk capital!). 'Oh, we're a new firm,' I
+assented, carelessly. 'Our enterprise is yet young. When cultivated
+Florence learns we're here, cultivated Florence will invade us in its
+thousands.'</p>
+
+<p>But we sat in our office and bit our thumbs all day; the thousands
+stopped at home. We had ample opportunities for making studies of the
+decorative detail on the Campanile, till we knew every square inch of it
+better than Mr. Ruskin. Elsie's notebook contains, I believe, eleven
+hundred separate sketches of the Campanile, from the right end, the left
+end, and the middle of our window, with eight hundred and five distinct
+distortions of the individual statues that adorn its niches on the side
+turned towards us.</p>
+
+<p>At last, after we had sat, and bitten our thumbs, and sketched the Four
+Greater Prophets for a fortnight on end, an immense excitement occurred.
+An old gentleman was distinctly seen to approach and to look up at the
+sign-board which decorated our office.</p>
+
+<p>I instantly slipped in a sheet of foolscap, and began to type-write with
+alarming speed&mdash;click, click, click; while Elsie, rising to the
+occasion, set to work to transcribe imaginary shorthand as if her life
+depended upon it.</p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman, after a moment's hesitation, lifted the latch of the
+door somewhat nervously. I affected to take no notice of him, so
+breathless was the haste with which our immense business connection
+compelled me to finger the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> keyboard: but, looking up at him under my
+eyelashes, I could just make out he was a peculiarly bland and urbane
+old person, dressed with the greatest care, and some attention to
+fashion. His face was smooth; it tended towards portliness.</p>
+
+<p>He made up his mind, and entered the office. I continued to click till I
+had reached the close of a sentence&mdash;'Or to take arms against a sea of
+troubles, and by opposing, end them.' Then I looked up sharply. 'Can I
+do anything for you?' I inquired, in the smartest tone of business. (I
+observe that politeness is not professional.)</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 274px;"><a name="ILL_038" id="ILL_038"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_038.jpg" width="274" height="500" alt="THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman came forward with his hat in his hand. He
+looked as if he had just landed from the Eighteenth Century. His figure
+was that of Mr. Edward Gibbon. 'Yes, madam,' he said, in a markedly
+deferential tone, fussing about with the rim of his hat as he spoke, and
+adjusting his <i>pince-nez</i>. 'I was recommended to your&mdash;ur&mdash;your
+establishment for shorthand and typewriting. I have some work which I
+wish done, if it falls within your province. But I am <i>rather</i>
+particular. I require a quick worker. Excuse my asking it, but how many
+words can you do a minute?'</p>
+
+<p>'Shorthand?' I asked, sharply, for I wished to imitate official habits.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman bowed. 'Yes, shorthand. Certainly.'</p>
+
+<p>I waved my hand with careless grace towards Elsie&mdash;as if these things
+happened to us daily. 'Miss Petheridge undertakes the shorthand
+department,' I said, with decision. 'I am the typewriting from
+dictation. Miss Petheridge, forward!'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie rose to it like an angel. 'A hundred,' she answered, confronting
+him.</p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman bowed again. 'And your terms?' he inquired, in a
+honey-tongued voice. 'If I may venture to ask them.'</p>
+
+<p>We handed him our printed tariff. He seemed satisfied.</p>
+
+<p>'Could you spare me an hour this morning?' he asked, still fingering his
+hat nervously with his puffy hand. 'But perhaps you are engaged. I fear
+I intrude upon you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Not at all,' I answered, consulting an imaginary engagement list. 'This
+work can wait. Let me see: 11.30. Elsie, I think you have nothing to do
+before one, that cannot be put off? Quite so!&mdash;very well, then; yes, we
+are both at your service.'</p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman looked about him for a seat. I pushed him our
+one easy chair. He withdrew his gloves with great deliberation, and sat
+down in it with an apologetic glance. I could gather from his dress and
+his diamond pin that he was wealthy. Indeed, I half guessed who he was
+already. There was a fussiness about his manner which seemed strangely
+familiar to me.</p>
+
+<p>He sat down by slow degrees, edging himself about till he was thoroughly
+comfortable. I could see he was of the kind that will have comfort. He
+took out his notes and a packet of letters, which he sorted slowly. Then
+he looked hard at me and at Elsie. He seemed to be making his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span> choice
+between us. After a time he spoke. 'I <i>think</i>,' he said, in a most
+leisurely voice, 'I will not trouble your friend to write shorthand for
+me, after all. Or should I say your assistant? Excuse my change of plan.
+I will content myself with dictation. You can follow on the machine?'</p>
+
+<p>'As fast as you choose to dictate to me.'</p>
+
+<p>He glanced at his notes and began a letter. It was a curious
+communication. It seemed to be all about buying Bertha and selling
+Clara&mdash;a cold-blooded proceeding which almost suggested slave-dealing. I
+gathered he was giving instructions to his agent: could he have business
+relations with Cuba, I wondered. But there were also hints of mysterious
+middies&mdash;brave British tars to the rescue, possibly! Perhaps my
+bewilderment showed itself upon my face, for at last he looked queerly
+at me. 'You don't quite like this, I'm afraid,' he said, breaking off
+short.</p>
+
+<p>I was the soul of business. 'Not at all,' I answered. 'I am an
+automaton&mdash;nothing more. It is a typewriter's function to transcribe the
+words a client dictates as if they were absolutely meaningless to her.'</p>
+
+<p>'Quite right,' he answered, approvingly. 'Quite right. I see you
+understand. A very proper spirit!'</p>
+
+<p>Then the Woman within me got the better of the Typewriter. 'Though I
+confess,' I continued, 'I <i>do</i> feel it is a little unkind to
+sell Clara at once for whatever she will fetch. It seems to
+me&mdash;well&mdash;unchivalrous.'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled, but held his peace.</p>
+
+<p>'Still&mdash;the middies,' I went on: 'they will perhaps take care that these
+poor girls are not ill-treated.'</p>
+
+<p>He leaned back, clasped his hands, and regarded me fixedly. 'Bertha,' he
+said, after a pause, 'is Brighton A's&mdash;to be strictly correct, London,
+Brighton, and South Coast First Preference Debentures. Clara is Glasgow
+and South-Western<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> Deferred Stock. Middies are Midland Ordinary. But I
+respect your feeling. You are a young lady of principle.' And he
+fidgeted more than ever.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 700px;"><a name="ILL_039" id="ILL_039"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_039.jpg" width="700" height="438" alt="HE WENT ON DICTATING FOR JUST AN HOUR." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE WENT ON DICTATING FOR JUST AN HOUR.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He went on dictating for just an hour. His subject-matter bewildered me.
+It was all about India Bills, and telegraphic transfers, and selling
+cotton short, and holding tight to Egyptian Unified. Markets, it seemed,
+were glutted. Hungarians were only to be dealt in if they
+hardened&mdash;hardened sinners I know, but what are hardened Hungarians? And
+fears were not unnaturally expressed that Turks might be 'irregular,'
+Consols, it appeared, were certain to give way for political reasons;
+but the downward tendency of Australians, I was relieved to learn, for
+the honour of so great a group of colonies, could only be temporary.
+Greeks were growing decidedly worse, though I had always understood<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>
+Greeks were bad enough already; and Argentine Central were likely to be
+weak; but Provincials must soon become commendably firm, and if Uruguays
+went flat, something good ought to be made out of them. Scotch rails
+might shortly be quiet&mdash; I always understood they were based upon
+sleepers; but if South-Eastern stiffened, advantage should certainly be
+taken of their stiffening. He would telegraph particulars on Monday
+morning. And so on till my brain reeled. Oh, artistic Florence! was
+<i>this</i> the Filippo Lippi, the Michael Angelo I dreamed of?</p>
+
+<p>At the end of the hour, the Urbane Old Gentleman rose urbanely. He drew
+on his gloves again with the greatest deliberation, and hunted for his
+stick as if his life depended upon it. 'Let me see; I had a pencil; oh,
+thanks; yes, that is it. This cover protects the point. My hat? Ah,
+certainly. And my notes; much obliged; notes <i>always</i> get mislaid.
+People are so careless. Then I will come again to-morrow; the same hour,
+if you will kindly keep yourself disengaged. Though, excuse me, you had
+better make an entry of it at once upon your agenda.'</p>
+
+<p>'I shall remember it,' I answered, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>'No; will you? But you haven't my name.'</p>
+
+<p>'I know it,' I answered. 'At least, I think so. You are Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst. Lady Georgina Fawley sent you here.'</p>
+
+<p>He laid down his hat and gloves again, so as to regard me more
+undistracted. 'You are a most remarkable young lady,' he said, in a very
+slow voice. 'I impressed upon Georgina that she must not mention to you
+that I was coming. How on earth did you recognise me?'</p>
+
+<p>'Intuition, most likely.'</p>
+
+<p>He stared at me with a sort of suspicion. '<i>Please</i> don't tell me you
+think me like my sister,' he went on. 'For<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span> though, of course, every
+right-minded man feels&mdash;ur&mdash;a natural respect and affection for the
+members his family&mdash;bows, if I may so say, to the inscrutable decrees of
+Providence&mdash;which has mysteriously burdened him with them&mdash;still, there
+<i>are</i> points about Lady Georgina which I cannot conscientiously assert I
+approve of.'</p>
+
+<p>I remembered 'Marmy's a fool,' and held my tongue judiciously.</p>
+
+<p>'I do not resemble her, I hope,' he persisted, with a look which I could
+almost describe as wistful.</p>
+
+<p>'A family likeness, perhaps,' I put in. 'Family likenesses exist, you
+know&mdash;often with complete divergence of tastes and character.'</p>
+
+<p>He looked relieved. 'That is true. Oh, how true! But the likeness in my
+case, I must admit, escapes me.'</p>
+
+<p>I temporised. 'Strangers see these things most,' I said, airing the
+stock platitudes. 'It may be superficial. And, of course, one knows that
+profound differences of intellect and moral feeling often occur within
+the limits of a single family.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are quite right,' he said, with decision. 'Georgina's principles
+are not mine. Excuse my remarking it, but you seem to be a young lady of
+unusual penetration.'</p>
+
+<p>I saw he took my remark as a compliment. What I really meant to say was
+that a commonplace man might easily be brother to so clever a woman as
+Lady Georgina.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 493px;"><a name="ILL_040" id="ILL_040"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_040.jpg" width="493" height="500" alt="HE BOWED TO US EACH SEPARATELY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE BOWED TO US EACH SEPARATELY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He gathered up his hat, his stick, his gloves, his notes, and his
+typewritten letters, one by one, and backed out politely. He was a
+punctilious millionaire. He had risen by urbanity to his brother
+directors, like a model guinea-pig. He bowed to us each separately as if
+we had been duchesses.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as he was gone, Elsie turned to me. 'Brownie,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> how on earth did
+you guess it? They're so awfully different!'</p>
+
+<p>'Not at all,' I answered. 'A few surface unlikenesses only just mask an
+underlying identity. Their features are the same; but his are plump;
+hers, shrunken. Lady Georgina's expression is sharp and worldly; Mr.
+Ashurst's is smooth, and bland, and financial. And then their manner!
+Both<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span> are fussy; but Lady Georgina's is honest, open, ill-tempered
+fussiness; Mr. Ashurst's is concealed under an artificial mask of
+obsequious politeness. One's cantankerous; the other's only pernicketty.
+It's one tune, after all, in two different keys.'</p>
+
+<p>From that day forth, the Urbane Old Gentleman was a daily visitor. He
+took an hour at a time at first; but after a few days, the hour
+lengthened out (apologetically) to an entire morning. He 'presumed to
+ask' my Christian name the second day, and remembered my father&mdash;'a man
+of excellent principles.' But he didn't care for Elsie to work for him.
+Fortunately for her, other work dropped in, once we had found a client,
+or else, poor girl, she would have felt sadly slighted. I was glad she
+had something to do; the sense of dependence weighed heavily upon her.</p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman did not confine himself entirely, after the
+first few days, to Stock Exchange literature. He was engaged on a
+Work&mdash;he spoke of it always with bated breath, and a capital letter was
+implied in his intonation; the Work was one on the Interpretation of
+Prophecy. Unlike Lady Georgina, who was tart and crisp, Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst was devout and decorous; where she said 'pack of fools,' he
+talked with unction of 'the mental deficiencies of our poorer brethren.'
+But his religious opinions and his stockbroking had got strangely mixed
+up at the wash somehow. He was convinced that the British nation
+represented the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel&mdash;and in particular Ephraim&mdash;a
+matter on which, as a mere lay-woman, I would not presume either to
+agree with him or to differ from him. 'That being so, Miss Cayley, we
+can easily understand that the existing commercial prosperity of England
+depends upon the promises made to Abraham.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I assented, without committing myself. 'It would seem to follow.'</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Ashurst, encouraged by so much assent, went on to unfold his System
+of Interpretation, which was of a strictly commercial or
+company-promoting character. It ran like a prospectus. 'We have
+inherited the gold of Australia and the diamonds of the Cape,' he said,
+growing didactic, and lifting one fat forefinger; 'we are now inheriting
+Klondike and the Rand, for it is morally certain that we shall annex the
+Transvaal. Again, "the chief things of the ancient mountains, and the
+precious things of the everlasting hills." What does that mean? The
+ancient mountains are clearly the Rockies; can the everlasting hills be
+anything but the Himalayas? "For they shall suck of the abundance of the
+seas"&mdash;that refers, of course, to our world-wide commerce, due mainly to
+imports&mdash;"and of the treasures hid in the sand." Which sand?
+Undoubtedly, I say, the desert of Mount Sinai. What then is our obvious
+destiny? A lady of your intelligence must gather at once that it
+is&mdash;&mdash;?' He paused and gazed at me.</p>
+
+<p>'To drive the Sultan out of Syria,' I suggested tentatively, 'and to
+annex Palestine to our practical province of Egypt?'</p>
+
+<p>He leaned back in his chair and folded his fat hands in undisguised
+satisfaction. 'Now, you are a thinker of exceptional penetration,' he
+broke out. 'Do you know, Miss Cayley, I have tried to make that point
+clear to the War Office, and the Prime Minister, and many leading
+financiers in the City of London, and I <i>can't</i> get them to see it. They
+have no heads, those people. But <i>you</i> catch at it at a glance. Why, I
+endeavoured to interest Rothschild and induce him to join me in my
+Palestine Development Syndicate, and, will you believe it, the man
+refused<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span> point blank. Though if he had only looked at Nahum iii. 17&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'Mere financiers,' I said, smiling, 'will not consider these questions
+from a historical and prophetic point of view. They see nothing above
+percentages.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's it,' he replied, lighting up. 'They have no higher feelings.
+Though, mind you, there will be dividends too; mark my words, there will
+be dividends. This syndicate, besides fulfilling the prophecies, will
+pay forty per cent on every penny embarked in it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Only forty per cent for Ephraim!' I murmured, half below my breath.
+'Why, Judah is said to batten upon sixty.'</p>
+
+<p>He caught at it eagerly, without perceiving my gentle sarcasm.</p>
+
+<p>'In that case, we might even expect seventy,' he put in with a gasp of
+anticipation. 'Though I approached Rothschild first with my scheme on
+purpose, so that Israel and Judah might once more unite in sharing the
+promises.'</p>
+
+<p>'Your combined generosity and commercial instinct does you credit,' I
+answered. 'It is rare to find so much love for an abstract study side by
+side with such conspicuous financial ability.'</p>
+
+<p>His guilelessness was beyond words. He swallowed it like an infant. 'So
+I think,' he answered. 'I am glad to observe that you understand my
+character. Mere City men don't. They have no soul above shekels. Though,
+as I show them, there are shekels in it, too. Dividends, dividends,
+di-vidends. But <i>you</i> are a lady of understanding and comprehension. You
+have been to Girton, haven't you? Perhaps you read Greek, then?'</p>
+
+<p>'Enough to get on with.'</p>
+
+<p>'Could you look things up in Herodotus?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Certainly?'</p>
+
+<p>'In the original?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, dear, yes.'</p>
+
+<p>He regarded me once more with the same astonished glance. His own
+classics, I soon learnt, were limited to the amount which a public
+school succeeds in dinning, during the intervals of cricket and football
+into an English gentleman. Then he informed me that he wished me to hunt
+up certain facts in Herodotus "and elsewhere" confirmatory of his view
+that the English were the descendants of the Ten Tribes. I promised to
+do so, swallowing even that comprehensive "elsewhere." It was none of my
+business to believe or disbelieve: I was paid to get up a case, and I
+got one up to the best of my ability. I imagine it was at least as good
+as most other cases in similar matters: at any rate, it pleased the old
+gentleman vastly.</p>
+
+<p>By dint of listening, I began to like him. But Elsie couldn't bear him.
+She hated the fat crease at the back of his neck, she told me.</p>
+
+<p>After a week or two devoted to the Interpretation of Prophecy on a
+strictly commercial basis of Founders' Shares, with interludes of mining
+engineers' reports upon the rubies of Mount Sinai and the supposed
+auriferous quartzites of Palestine, the Urbane Old Gentleman trotted
+down to the office one day, carrying a packet of notes of most
+voluminous magnitude. "Can we work in a room alone this morning, Miss
+Cayley?" he asked, with mystery in his voice: he was always mysterious.
+"I want to intrust you with a piece of work of an exceptionally private
+and confidential character. It concerns Property. In point of fact," he
+dropped his voice to a whisper. "I want you to draw up my will for me."</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," I said, opening the door into the back office. But I
+trembled in my shoes. Could this mean<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> that he was going to draw up a
+will, disinheriting Harold Tillington?</p>
+
+<p>And, suppose he did, what then? My heart was in a tumult. If Harold were
+rich&mdash;well and good, I could never marry him. But, if Harold were poor&mdash;
+I must keep my promise. Could I wish him to be rich? Could I wish him to
+be poor? My heart stood divided two ways within me.</p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman began with immense deliberation, as befits a
+man of principle when Property is at stake. 'You will kindly take down
+notes from my dictation,' he said, fussing with his papers; 'and
+afterwards, I will ask you to be so good as to copy it all out fair on
+your typewriter for signature.'</p>
+
+<p>'Is a typewritten form legal?' I ventured to inquire.</p>
+
+<p>'A most perspicacious young lady!' he interjected, well pleased. 'I have
+investigated that point, and find it perfectly regular. Only, if I may
+venture to say so, there should be no erasures.'</p>
+
+<p>'There shall be none,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman leant back in his easy chair, and began
+dictating from his notes with tantalising deliberateness. This was the
+last will and testament of him, Marmaduke Courtney Ashurst. Its verbiage
+wearied me. I was eager for him to come to the point about Harold.
+Instead of that, he did what it seems is usual in such cases&mdash;set out
+with a number of unimportant legacies to old family servants and other
+hangers-on among 'our poorer brethren.' I fumed and fretted inwardly.
+Next came a series of quaint bequests of a quite novel character. 'I
+give and bequeath to James Walsh and Sons, of 720 High Holborn, London,
+the sum of Five Hundred Pounds, in consideration of the benefit they
+have conferred upon humanity by the invention of a sugar-spoon or silver
+sugar-sifter, by means<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> of which it is possible to dust sugar upon a
+tart or pudding without letting the whole or the greater part of the
+material run through the apertures uselessly in transit. You must have
+observed, Miss Cayley&mdash;with your usual perspicacity&mdash;that most
+sugar-sifters allow the sugar to fall through them on to the table
+prematurely.'</p>
+
+<p>'I have noticed it,' I answered, trembling with anxiety.</p>
+
+<p>'James Walsh and Sons, acting on a hint from me, have succeeded in
+inventing a form of spoon which does not possess that regrettable
+drawback. "Run through the apertures uselessly in transit," I think I
+said last. Yes, thank you. Very good. We will now continue. And I give
+and bequeath the like sum of Five Hundred Pounds&mdash;did I say, free of
+legacy duty? No? Then please add it to James Walsh's clause. Five
+Hundred Pounds, free of legacy duty, to Thomas Webster Jones, of Wheeler
+Street, Soho, for his admirable invention of a pair of braces which will
+not slip down on the wearer's shoulders after half an hour's use. Most
+braces, you must have observed, Miss Cayley&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'My acquaintance with braces is limited, not to say abstract,' I
+interposed, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me, and twirled his fat thumbs.</p>
+
+<p>'<i>Of</i> course,' he murmured. '<i>Of</i> course. But most braces, you may not
+be aware, slip down unpleasantly on the shoulder-blade, and so lead to
+an awkward habit of hitching them up by the sleeve-hole of the waistcoat
+at frequent intervals. Such a habit must be felt to be ungraceful.
+Thomas Webster Jones, to whom I pointed out this error of manufacture,
+has invented a brace the two halves of which diverge at a higher angle
+than usual, and fasten further towards the centre of the body in
+front&mdash;pardon these details&mdash;so as to obviate that difficulty. He has
+given me satisfaction, and he deserves to be rewarded.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I heard through it all the voice of Lady Georgina observing, tartly,
+'Why the idiots can't make braces to fit one at first passes <i>my</i>
+comprehension. But, there, my dear; the people who manufacture them are
+a set of born fools, and what can you expect from an imbecile?' Mr.
+Ashurst was Lady Georgina, veneered with a thin layer of ingratiating
+urbanity. Lady Georgina was clever, and therefore acrimonious. Mr.
+Ashurst was astute, and therefore obsequious.</p>
+
+<p>He went on with legacies to the inventor of a sauce-bottle which did not
+let the last drop dribble down so as to spot the table-cloth; of a
+shoe-horn the handle of which did not come undone; and of a pair of
+sleeve-links which you could put off and on without injury to the
+temper. 'A real benefactor, Miss Cayley; a real benefactor to the
+link-wearing classes; for he has sensibly diminished the average annual
+output of profane swearing.'</p>
+
+<p>When he left Five Hundred Pounds to his faithful servant Frederic
+Higginson, courier, I was tempted to interpose; but I refrained in time,
+and I was glad of it afterwards.</p>
+
+<p>At last, after many divagations, my Urbane Old Gentleman arrived at the
+central point&mdash;'and I give and bequeath to my nephew, Harold Ashurst
+Tillington, Younger of Gledcliffe, Dumfriesshire, attach&eacute; to Her
+Majesty's Embassy at Rome&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_041" id="ILL_041"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_041.jpg" width="600" height="397" alt="I WAITED BREATHLESS." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I WAITED BREATHLESS.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I waited, breathless.</p>
+
+<p>He was annoyingly dilatory. 'My house and estate of Ashurst Court, in
+the County of Gloucester, and my town house at 24 Park Lane North, in
+London, together with the residue of all my estate, real or
+personal&mdash;&mdash;' and so forth.</p>
+
+<p>I breathed again. At least, I had not been called upon to disinherit
+Harold.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Provided always&mdash;&mdash;' he went on, in the same voice.</p>
+
+<p>I wondered what was coming.</p>
+
+<p>'Provided always that the said Harold Ashurst Tillington does not
+marry&mdash;&mdash;leave a blank there, Miss Cayley. I will find out the name of
+the young person I desire to exclude, and fill it in afterward. I don't
+recollect it at this moment, but Higginson, no doubt, will be able to
+supply the deficiency. In fact, I don't think I ever heard it; though
+Higginson has told me all about the woman.'</p>
+
+<p>'Higginson?' I inquired. 'Is he here?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, dear, yes. You heard of him, I suppose, from Georgina. Georgina is
+prejudiced. He has come back to me, I am glad to say. An excellent
+servant, Higginson, though a trifle too omniscient. All men are equal in
+the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span> eyes of their Maker, of course; but we must have due subordination.
+A courier ought not to be better informed than his master&mdash;or ought at
+least to conceal the fact dexterously. Well, Higginson knows this young
+person's name; my sister wrote to me about her disgraceful conduct when
+she first went to Schlangenbad. An adventuress, it seems; an
+adventuress; quite a shocking creature. Foisted herself upon Lady
+Georgina in Kensington Gardens&mdash;unintroduced, if you can believe such a
+thing&mdash;with the most astonishing effrontery; and Georgina, who will
+forgive anything on earth, for the sake of what she calls
+originality&mdash;another name for impudence, as I am sure you must
+know&mdash;took the young woman with her as her maid to Germany. There, this
+minx tried to set her cap at my nephew Harold, who can be caught at once
+by a pretty face; and Harold was bowled over&mdash;almost got engaged to her.
+Georgina took a fancy to the girl later, having a taste for dubious
+people (I cannot say I approve of Georgina's friends), and wrote again
+to say her first suspicions were unfounded: the young woman was in
+reality a paragon of virtue. But <i>I</i> know better than that. Georgina has
+no judgment. I regret to be obliged to confess it, but cleverness, I
+fear, is the only thing in the world my excellent sister cares for. The
+hussy, it seems, was certainly clever. Higginson has told me about her.
+He says her bare appearance would suffice to condemn her&mdash;a bold, fast,
+shameless, brazen-faced creature. But you will forgive me, I am sure, my
+dear young lady: I ought not to discuss such painted Jezebels before
+you. We will leave this person's name blank. I will not sully your
+pen&mdash;I mean, your typewriter&mdash;by asking you to transcribe it.'</p>
+
+<p>I made up my mind at once. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said, looking up from my
+keyboard, '<i>I</i> can give you this girl's name; and then you can insert
+the proviso immediately.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'<i>You</i> can? My dear young lady, what a wonderful person you are! You
+seem to know everybody, and everything. But perhaps she was at
+Schlangenbad with Lady Georgina, and you were there also?'</p>
+
+<p>'She was,' I answered, deliberately. 'The name you want is&mdash;Lois
+Cayley!'</p>
+
+<p>He let his notes drop in his astonishment.</p>
+
+<p>I went on with my typewriting, unmoved. 'Provided always that the said
+Harold Ashurst Tillington does not marry Lois Cayley; in which case I
+will and desire that the said estate shall pass to&mdash;&mdash;whom shall I put
+in, Mr. Ashurst?'</p>
+
+<p>He leant forward with his fat hands on his ample knees. 'It was really
+<i>you</i>?' he inquired, open-mouthed.</p>
+
+<p>I nodded. 'There is no use in denying the truth. Mr. Tillington did ask
+me to be his wife, and I refused him.'</p>
+
+<p>'But, my dear Miss Cayley&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'The difference in station?' I said; 'the difference, still greater, in
+this world's goods? Yes, I know. I admit all that. So I declined his
+offer. I did not wish to ruin his prospects.'</p>
+
+<p>The Urbane Old Gentleman eyed me with a sudden tenderness in his glance.
+'Young men are lucky,' he said, slowly, after a short pause; '&mdash;and&mdash;
+Higginson is an idiot. I say it deliberately&mdash;an idiot! How could one
+dream of trusting the judgment of a flunkey about a lady? My dear,
+excuse the familiarity from one who may consider himself in a certain
+sense a contingent uncle&mdash;suppose we amend the last clause by the
+omission of the word <i>not</i>. It strikes me as superfluous. "Provided
+always the said Harold Ashurst Tillington consents to marry"&mdash; I think
+that sounds better!'</p>
+
+<p>He looked at me with such fatherly regard that it pricked my heart ever
+to have poked fun at his Interpretation<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> of Prophecy on Stock Exchange
+principles. I think I flushed crimson. 'No, no,' I answered, firmly.
+'That will not do either, please. That's worse than the other way. You
+must not put it, Mr. Ashurst. I could not consent to be willed away to
+anybody.'</p>
+
+<p>He leant forward, with real earnestness. 'My dear,' he said, 'that's not
+the point. Pardon my reminding you that you are here in your capacity as
+my amanuensis. I am drawing up my will, and if you will allow me to say
+so, I cannot admit that anyone has a claim to influence me in the
+disposition of my Property.'</p>
+
+<p>'<i>Please!</i>' I cried, pleadingly.</p>
+
+<p>He looked at me and paused. 'Well,' he went on at last, after a long
+interval; 'since <i>you</i> insist upon it, I will leave the bequest to stand
+without condition.'</p>
+
+<p>'Thank you,' I murmured, bending low over my machine.'</p>
+
+<p>'If I did as I like, though,' he went on, 'I should say, Unless he
+marries Miss Lois Cayley (who is a deal too good for him) the estate
+shall revert to Kynaston's eldest son, a confounded jackass. I do not
+usually indulge in intemperate language; but I desire to assure you,
+with the utmost calmness, that Kynaston's eldest son, Lord Southminster,
+is a con-founded jackass.'</p>
+
+<p>I rose and took his hand in my own spontaneously. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said,
+'you may interpret prophecy as long as ever you like, but you are a dear
+kind old gentleman. I am truly grateful to you for your good opinion.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 398px;"><a name="ILL_042" id="ILL_042"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_042.jpg" width="398" height="500" alt="WHAT, YOU HERE! HE CRIED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">WHAT, YOU HERE! HE CRIED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'And you will marry Harold?'</p>
+
+<p>'Never,' I answered; 'while he is rich. I have said as much to him.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's hard,' he went on, slowly. 'For ... I should like to be your
+uncle.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I trembled all over. Elsie saved the situation by bursting in abruptly.</p>
+
+<p>I will only add that when Mr. Ashurst left, I copied the will out
+neatly, without erasures. The rough original I threw (somewhat
+carelessly) into the waste-paper basket.</p>
+
+<p>That afternoon, somebody called to fetch the fair copy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span> for Mr. Ashurst.
+I went out into the front office to see him. To my surprise, it was
+Higginson&mdash;in his guise as courier.</p>
+
+<p>He was as astonished as myself. 'What, <i>you</i> here!' he cried. 'You dog
+me!'</p>
+
+<p>'I was thinking the same thing of you, M. le Comte,' I answered,
+curtsying.</p>
+
+<p>He made no attempt at an excuse. 'Well, I have been sent for the will,'
+he broke out, curtly.</p>
+
+<p>'And you were sent for the jewel-case,' I retorted. 'No, no, Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley; <i>I</i> am in charge of the will, and I will take it
+myself to Mr. Ashurst.'</p>
+
+<p>'I will be even with you yet,' he snapped out. 'I have gone back to my
+old trade, and am trying to lead an honest life; but <i>you</i> won't let
+me.'</p>
+
+<p>'On the contrary,' I answered, smiling a polite smile. 'I rejoice to
+hear it. If you say nothing more against me to your employer, I will not
+disclose to him what I know about you. But if you slander me, I will. So
+now we understand one another.'</p>
+
+<p>And I kept the will till I could give it myself into Mr Ashurst's own
+hands in his rooms that evening.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNOBTRUSIVE OASIS</h3>
+
+<p>I will not attempt to describe to you the minor episodes of our next
+twelve months&mdash;the manuscripts we type-wrote and the Manitous we sold.
+'Tis one of my aims in a world so rich in bores to avoid being tedious.
+I will merely say, therefore, that we spent the greater part of the year
+in Florence, where we were building up a connection, but rode back for
+the summer months to Switzerland, as being a livelier place for the
+trade in bicycles. The net result was not only that we covered our
+expenses, but that, as chancellor of the exchequer, I found myself with
+a surplus in hand at the end of the season.</p>
+
+<p>When we returned to Florence for the winter, however, I confess I began
+to chafe. 'This is slow work, Elsie!' I said. 'I started out to go round
+the world; it has taken me eighteen months to travel no further than
+Italy! At this rate, I shall reach New York a gray-haired old lady, in a
+nice lace cap, and totter back into London a venerable crone on the
+verge of ninety.'</p>
+
+<p>However, those invaluable doctors came to my rescue unexpectedly. I do
+love doctors; they are always sending you off at a moment's notice to
+delightful places you never dreamt of. Elsie was better, but still far
+from strong. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> took it upon me to consult our medical attendant; and
+his verdict was decisive. He did just what a doctor ought to do. 'She is
+getting on very well in Florence,' he said; 'but if you want to restore
+her health completely, I should advise you to take her for a winter to
+Egypt. After six months of the dry, warm desert air, I don't doubt she
+might return to her work in London.'</p>
+
+<p>That last point I used as a lever with Elsie. She positively revels in
+teaching mathematics. At first, to be sure, she objected that we had
+only just money enough to pay our way to Cairo, and that when we got
+there we might starve&mdash;her favourite programme. I have not this
+extraordinary taste for starving; <i>my</i> idea is, to go where you like,
+and find something decent to eat when you get there. However, to humour
+her, I began to cast about me for a source of income. There is no
+absolute harm in seeing your way clear before you for a twelvemonth,
+though of course it deprives you of the plot-interest of poverty.</p>
+
+<p>'Elsie,' I said, in my best didactic style&mdash;I excel in didactics&mdash;'you
+do not learn from the lessons that life sets before you. Look at the
+stage, for example; the stage is universally acknowledged at the present
+day to be a great teacher of morals. Does not Irving say so?&mdash;and he
+ought to know. There is that splendid model for imitation, for instance,
+the Clown in the pantomime. How does Clown regulate his life? Does he
+take heed for the morrow? Not a bit of it! "I wish I had a goose," he
+says, at some critical juncture; and just as he says it&mdash;pat&mdash;a super
+strolls upon the stage with a property goose on a wooden tray; and Clown
+cries, "Oh, look here, Joey; <i>here's</i> a goose!" and proceeds to
+appropriate it. Then he puts his fingers in his mouth and observes, "I
+wish I had a few apples to make the sauce with"; and as the words escape
+him&mdash;pat again&mdash;a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> small boy with a very squeaky voice runs on, carrying
+a basket of apples. Clown trips him up, and bolts with the basket.
+<i>There's</i> a model for imitation! The stage sets these great moral
+lessons before you regularly every Christmas; yet you fail to profit by
+them. Govern your life on the principles exemplified by Clown; expect to
+find that whatever you want will turn up with punctuality and dispatch
+at the proper moment. Be adventurous and you will be happy. Take that as
+a new maxim to put in your copy-book!'</p>
+
+<p>'I wish I could think so, dear,' Elsie answered. 'But your confidence
+staggers me.'</p>
+
+<p>That evening at our <i>table-d'h&ocirc;te</i>, however, it was amply justified. A
+smooth-faced young man of ample girth and most prosperous exterior
+happened to sit next us. He had his wife with him, so I judged it safe
+to launch on conversation. We soon found out he was the millionaire
+editor-proprietor of a great London daily, with many more strings to his
+journalistic bow; his honoured name was Elworthy. I mentioned casually
+that we thought of going for the winter to Egypt. He pricked his ears
+up. But at the time he said nothing. After dinner, we adjourned to the
+cosy <i>salon</i>. I talked to him and his wife; and somehow, that evening,
+the devil entered into me. I am subject to devils. I hasten to add, they
+are mild ones. I had one of my reckless moods just then, however, and I
+reeled off rattling stories of our various adventures. Mr. Elworthy
+believed in youth and audacity; I could see I interested him. The more
+he was amused, the more reckless I became. 'That's bright,' he said at
+last, when I told him the tale of our amateur exploits in the sale of
+Manitous. 'That would make a good article!'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes,' I answered, with bravado, determined to strike<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span> while the iron
+was hot. 'What the <i>Daily Telephone</i> lacks is just one enlivening touch
+of feminine brightness.'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled. 'What is your forte?' he inquired.</p>
+
+<p>'My forte,' I answered, 'is&mdash;to go where I choose, and write what I like
+about it.'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled again. 'And a very good new departure in journalism, too! A
+roving commission! Have you ever tried your hand at writing?'</p>
+
+<p>Had I ever tried! It was the ambition of my life to see myself in print;
+though, hitherto, it had been ineffectual. 'I have written a few
+sketches,' I answered, with becoming modesty. As a matter of fact, our
+office bulged with my unpublished manuscripts.</p>
+
+<p>'Could you let me see them?' he asked.</p>
+
+<p>I assented, with inner joy, but outer reluctance. 'If you wish it,' I
+murmured; 'but&mdash;you must be <i>very</i> lenient!'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_043" id="ILL_043"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_043.jpg" width="500" height="499" alt="HE READ THEM, CRUEL MAN, BEFORE MY VERY EYES." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE READ THEM, CRUEL MAN, BEFORE MY VERY EYES.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Though I had not told Elsie, the truth of the matter was, I had just
+then conceived an idea for a novel&mdash;my <i>magnum opus</i>&mdash;the setting of
+which compelled Egyptian local colour; and I was therefore dying to get
+to Egypt, if chance so willed it. I submitted a few of my picked
+manuscripts accordingly to Mr. Elworthy, in fear and trembling. He read
+them, cruel man, before my very eyes; I sat and waited, twiddling my
+thumbs, demure but apprehensive.</p>
+
+<p>When he had finished, he laid them down.</p>
+
+<p>'Racy!' he said. 'Racy! You're quite right, Miss Cayley. That's just
+what we want on the <i>Daily Telephone</i>. I should like to print these
+three,' selecting them out, 'at our usual rate of pay per thousand.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are very kind.' But the room reeled with me.</p>
+
+<p>'Not at all. I am a man of business. And these are good copy. Now, about
+this Egypt. I will put the matter<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> in the shape of a business
+proposition. Will you undertake, if I pay your passage, and your
+friend's, with all travelling expenses, to let me have three descriptive
+articles a week, on Cairo, the Nile, Syria, and India, running to about
+two thousand words apiece, at three guineas a thousand?'</p>
+
+<p>My breath came and went. It was positive opulence. The super with the
+goose couldn't approach it for patness. My editor had brought me the
+apple sauce as well, without even giving me the trouble of cooking it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The very next day everything was arranged. Elsie tried to protest, on
+the foolish ground that she had no money: but the faculty had ordered
+the apex of her right lung to go to Egypt, and I couldn't let her fly in
+the face of the faculty. We secured our berths in a P. and O. steamer
+from Brindisi; and within a week we were tossing upon the bosom of the
+blue Mediterranean.</p>
+
+<p>People who haven't crossed the blue Mediterranean cherish an absurd idea
+that it is always calm and warm and sunny. I am sorry to take away any
+sea's character; but I speak of it as I find it (to borrow a phrase from
+my old gyp at Girton); and I am bound to admit that the Mediterranean
+did not treat me as a lady expects to be treated. It behaved
+disgracefully. People may rhapsodize as long as they choose about a life
+on the ocean wave; for my own part, I wouldn't give a pin for
+sea-sickness. We glided down the Adriatic from Brindisi to Corfu with a
+reckless profusion of lateral motion which suggested the idea that the
+ship must have been drinking.</p>
+
+<p>I tried to rouse Elsie when we came abreast of the Ionian Islands, and
+to remind her that 'Here was the home of Nausicaa in the Odyssey.' Elsie
+failed to respond; she was otherwise occupied. At last, I succumbed and
+gave it up. I remember nothing further till a day and a half later, when
+we got under lee of Crete, and the ship showed a tendency to resume the
+perpendicular. Then I began once more to take a languid interest in the
+dinner question.</p>
+
+<p>I may add parenthetically that the Mediterranean is a mere bit of a sea,
+when you look at it on the map&mdash;a pocket sea, to be regarded with
+mingled contempt and affection; but you learn to respect it when you
+find that it takes four clear days and nights of abject misery merely to
+run across its eastern basin from Brindisi to Alexandria. I respected<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>
+the Mediterranean immensely while we lay off the Peloponnesus in the
+trough of the waves with a north wind blowing; I only began to temper my
+respect with a distant liking when we passed under the welcome shelter
+of Crete on a calm, star-lit evening.</p>
+
+<p>It was deadly cold. We had not counted upon such weather in the sunny
+south. I recollected now that the Greeks were wont to represent Boreas
+as a chilly deity, and spoke of the Thracian breeze with the same
+deferentially deprecating adjectives which we ourselves apply to the
+east wind of our fatherland; but that apt classical memory somehow
+failed to console or warm me. A good-natured male passenger, however,
+volunteered to ask us, 'Will I get ye a rug, ladies?' The form of his
+courteous question suggested the probability of his Irish origin.</p>
+
+<p>'You are very kind,' I answered. 'If you don't want it for yourself, I'm
+sure my friend would be glad to have the use of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Is it meself? Sure I've got me big ulsther, and I'm as warrum as a
+toast in it. But ye're not provided for this weather. Ye've thrusted too
+much to those rascals the po-uts. 'Where breaks the blue Sicilian say,'
+the rogues write. <i>I'd</i> like to set them down in it, wid a nor'-easter
+blowing!'</p>
+
+<p>He fetched up his rug. It was ample and soft, a smooth brown camel-hair.
+He wrapped us both up in it. We sat late on deck that night, as warm as
+a toast ourselves, thanks to our genial Irishman.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 438px;"><a name="ILL_044" id="ILL_044"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_044.jpg" width="438" height="500" alt="&#39;TIS DOCTOR MACLOGHLEN, HE ANSWERED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">&#39;TIS DOCTOR MACLOGHLEN, HE ANSWERED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We asked his name. ''Tis Dr. Macloghlen,' he answered. 'I'm from County
+Clare, ye see; and I'm on me way to Egypt for thravel and exploration.
+Me fader whisht me to see the worruld a bit before I'd settle down to
+practise me profession at Liscannor. Have ye ever been in County Clare?
+Sure, 'tis the pick of Oireland.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'We have that pleasure still in store,' I answered, smiling. 'It spreads
+gold-leaf over the future, as George Meredith puts it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Is it Meredith? Ah, there's the foine writer! 'Tis jaynius the man has:
+I can't undtherstand a word of him. But he's half Oirish, ye know. What
+proof have I got of it? An' would he write like that if there wasn't a
+dhrop of the blood of the Celt in him?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Next day and next night, Mr. Macloghlen was our devoted slave. I had won
+his heart by admitting frankly that his countrywomen had the finest and
+liveliest eyes in Europe&mdash;eyes with a deep twinkle, half fun, half
+passion. He took to us at once, and talked to us incessantly. He was a
+red-haired, raw-boned Munster-man, but a real good fellow. We forgot the
+aggressive inequalities of the Mediterranean while he talked to us of
+'the pizzantry.' Late the second evening he propounded a confidence. It
+was a lovely night; Orion overhead, and the plashing phosphorescence on
+the water below conspired with the hour to make him specially
+confidential. 'Now, Miss Cayley,' he said, leaning forward on his deck
+chair, and gazing earnestly into my eyes, 'there's wan question I'd like
+to ask ye. The ambition of me life is to get into Parlimint. And I want
+to know from ye, as a frind&mdash;if I accomplish me heart's wish&mdash;is there
+annything, in me apparence, ar in me voice, ar in me accent, ar in me
+manner, that would lade annybody to suppose I was an Oirishman?'</p>
+
+<p>I succeeded, by good luck, in avoiding Elsie's eye. What on earth could
+I answer? Then a happy thought struck me. 'Dr. Macloghlen,' I said, 'it
+would not be the slightest use your trying to conceal it; for even if
+nobody ever detected a faint Irish intonation in your words or
+phrases&mdash;how could your eloquence fail to betray you for a countryman of
+Sheridan and Burke and Grattan?'</p>
+
+<p>He seized my hand with such warmth that I thought it best to hurry down
+to my state-room at once, under cover of my compliment.</p>
+
+<p>At Alexandria and Cairo we found him invaluable. He looked after our
+luggage, which he gallantly rescued from the lean hands of fifteen Arab
+porters, all eagerly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span> struggling to gain possession of our effects; he
+saw us safe into the train; and he never quitted us till he had safely
+ensconced us in our rooms at Shepheard's. For himself, he said, with
+subdued melancholy, 'twas to some cheaper hotel he must go; Shepheard's
+wasn't for the likes of him; though if land in County Clare was wort'
+what it ought to be, there wasn't a finer estate in all Oireland than
+his fader's.</p>
+
+<p>Our Mr. Elworthy was a modern proprietor, who knew how to do things on
+the lordly scale. Having commissioned me to write this series of
+articles, he intended them to be written in the first style of art, and
+he had instructed me accordingly to hire one of Cook's little steam
+dahabeeahs, where I could work at leisure. Dr. Macloghlen was in his
+element arranging for the trip. 'Sure the only thing I mind,' he said,
+'is&mdash;that I'll not be going wid ye.' I think he was half inclined to
+invite himself; but there again I drew a line. I will not sell salt
+fish; and I will not go up the Nile, unchaperoned, with a casual man
+acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>He did the next best thing, however: he took a place in a sailing
+dahabeeah; and as we steamed up slowly, stopping often on the way, to
+give me time to write my articles, he managed to arrive almost always at
+every town or ruin exactly when we did.</p>
+
+<p>I will not describe the voyage. The Nile is the Nile. Just at first,
+before we got used to it, we conscientiously looked up the name of every
+village we passed on the bank in our Murray and our Baedeker. After a
+couple of days' Niling, however, we found that formality quite
+unnecessary. They were all the same village, under a number of aliases.
+They did not even take the trouble to disguise themselves anew, like Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley, on each fresh appearance. They had every one of them
+a small whitewashed mosque,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> with a couple of tall minarets; and around
+it spread a number of mud-built cottages, looking more like bee-hives
+than human habitations. They had also every one of them a group of
+date-palms, overhanging a cluster of mean bare houses; and they all
+alike had a picturesque and even imposing air from a distance, but faded
+away into indescribable squalor as one got abreast of them. Our progress
+was monotonous. At twelve, noon, we would pass Aboo-Teeg, with its
+mosque, its palms, its mud-huts, and its camels; then for a couple of
+hours we would go on through the midst of a green field on either side,
+studded by more mud-huts, and backed up by a range of gray desert
+mountains; only to come at 2 <span class="smcap">p.m</span>., twenty miles higher up, upon
+Aboo-Teeg once more, with the same mosque, the same mud-huts, and the
+same haughty camels, placidly chewing the same aristocratic cud, but
+under the alias of Koos-kam. After a wild hubbub at the quay, we would
+leave Koos-kam behind, with its camels still serenely munching
+day-before-yesterday's dinner; and twenty miles further on, again,
+having passed through the same green plain, backed by the same gray
+mountains, we would stop once more at the identical Koos-kam, which this
+time absurdly described itself as Tahtah. But whether it was Aboo-Teeg
+or Koos-kam or Tahtah or anything else, only the name differed: it was
+always the same town, and had always the same camels at precisely the
+same stage of the digestive process. It seemed to us immaterial whether
+you saw all the Nile or only five miles of it. It was just like
+wall-paper. A sample sufficed; the whole was the sample infinitely
+repeated.</p>
+
+<p>However, I had my letters to write, and I wrote them valiantly. I
+described the various episodes of the complicated digestive process in
+the camel in the minutest detail. I gloated over the date-palms, which I
+knew in three days<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> as if I had been brought up upon dates. I gave
+word-pictures of every individual child, veiled woman, Arab sheikh, and
+Coptic priest whom we encountered on the voyage. And I am open to
+reprint those conscientious studies of mud-huts and minarets with any
+enterprising publisher who will make me an offer.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 473px;"><a name="ILL_045" id="ILL_045"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_045.jpg" width="473" height="500" alt="TOO MUCH NILE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">TOO MUCH NILE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Another disillusion weighed upon my soul. Before I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span> went up the Nile, I
+had a fancy of my own that the bank was studded with endless ruined
+temples, whose vast red colonnades were reflected in the water at every
+turn. I think Macaulay's Lays were primarily answerable for that
+particular misapprehension. As a matter of fact, it surprised me to find
+that we often went for two whole days' hard steaming without ever a
+temple breaking the monotony of those eternal date-palms, those calm and
+superciliously irresponsive camels. In my humble opinion, Egypt is a
+fraud; there is too much Nile&mdash;very dirty Nile at that&mdash;and not nearly
+enough temple. Besides, the temples, when you <i>do</i> come up with them,
+are just like the villages; they are the same temple over again, under a
+different name each time, and they have the same gods, the same kings,
+the same wearisome bas-reliefs, except that the gentleman in a chariot,
+ten feet high, who is mowing down enemies a quarter his own size, with
+unsportsmanslike recklessness, is called Rameses in this place, and
+Sethi in that, and Amen-hotep in the other. With this trifling
+variation, when you have seen one temple, one obelisk, one hieroglyphic
+table, you have seen the whole of Ancient Egypt.</p>
+
+<p>At last, after many days' voyage through the same scenery daily&mdash;rising
+in the morning off a village with a mosque, ten palms, and two minarets,
+and retiring late at night off the same village once more, with mosque,
+palms, and minarets, as before, <i>da capo</i>&mdash;we arrived one evening at a
+place called Geergeh. In itself, I believe, Geergeh did not differ
+materially from all the other places we had passed on our voyage: it had
+its mosque, its ten palms, and its two minarets as usual. But I remember
+its name, because something mysterious went wrong there with our
+machinery; and the engineer informed us we must wait at least three days
+to mend it. Dr. Macloghlen's dahabeeah happened<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span> opportunely to arrive
+at the same spot on the same day; and he declared with fervour he would
+'see us through our throubles.' But what on earth were we to do with
+ourselves through three long days and nights at Geergeh? There were the
+ruins of Abydus close at hand, to be sure; though I defy anybody not a
+professed Egyptologist to give more than one day to the ruins of Abydus.
+In this emergency, Dr. Macloghlen came gallantly to our aid. He
+discovered by inquiring from an English-speaking guide that there was an
+unobtrusive oasis, never visited by Europeans, one long day's journey
+off, across the desert. As a rule, it takes at least three days to get
+camels and guides together for such an expedition: for Egypt is not a
+land to hurry in. But the indefatigable Doctor further unearthed the
+fact that a sheikh had just come in, who (for a consideration) would
+lend us camels for a two days' trip; and we seized the chance to do our
+duty by Mr. Elworthy and the world-wide circulation. An unvisited
+oasis&mdash;and two Christian ladies to be the first to explore it: there's
+journalistic enterprise for you! If we happened to be killed, so much
+the better for the <i>Daily Telephone</i>. I pictured the excitement at
+Piccadilly Circus. 'Extra Special, Our Own Correspondent brutally
+murdered!' I rejoiced at the opportunity.</p>
+
+<p>I cannot honestly say that Elsie rejoiced with me. She cherished a
+prejudice against camels, massacres, and the new journalism. She didn't
+like being murdered: though this was premature, for she had never tried
+it. She objected that the fanatical Mohammedans of the Senoosi sect, who
+were said to inhabit the oasis in question, might cut our throats for
+dogs of infidels. I pointed out to her at some length that it was just
+that chance which added zest to our expedition as a journalistic
+venture: fancy the glory of being the first lady journalists martyred in
+the cause! But she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span> failed to grasp this aspect of the question.
+However, if I went, she would go too, she said, like a dear girl that
+she is: she would not desert me when I was getting my throat cut.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 423px;"><a name="ILL_046" id="ILL_046"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_046.jpg" width="423" height="500" alt="EMPHASIS." title="" />
+<span class="caption">EMPHASIS.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Dr. Macloghlen made the bargain for us, and insisted on accompanying us
+across the desert. He told us his method of negotiation with the Arabs
+with extreme gusto. '"Is it pay in advance ye want?" says I to the dirty
+beggars:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span> "divvil a penny will ye get till ye bring these ladies safe
+back to Geergeh. And remimber, Mr. Sheikh," says I, fingering me pistol,
+so, by way of emphasis, "we take no money wid us; so if yer friends at
+Wadi Bou choose to cut our throats, 'tis for the pleasure of it they'll
+be cutting them, not for anything they'll gain by it." "Provisions,
+effendi?" says he, salaaming. "Provisions, is it?" says I. "Take
+everything ye'll want wid you; I suppose ye can buy food fit for a
+Crischun in the bazaar in Geergeh; and never wan penny do ye touch for
+it all till ye've landed us on the bank again, as safe as ye took us. So
+if the religious sintiments of the faithful at Wadi Bou should lade them
+to hack us to pieces," says I, just waving me revolver, "thin 'tis
+yerself that will be out of pocket by it." And the ould divvil cringed
+as if he took me for the Prince of Wales. Faix, 'tis the purse that's
+the best argumint to catch these haythen Arabs upon.'</p>
+
+<p>When we set out for the desert in the early dawn next day, it looked as
+if we were starting for a few months' voyage. We had a company of camels
+that might have befitted a caravan. We had two large tents, one for
+ourselves, and one for Dr. Macloghlen, with a third to dine in. We had
+bedding, and cushions, and drinking water tied up in swollen pig-skins,
+which were really goat-skins, looking far from tempting. We had bread
+and meat, and a supply of presents to soften the hearts and weaken the
+religious scruples of the sheikhs at Wadi Bou. 'We thravel <i>en prince</i>,'
+said the Doctor. When all was ready we got under way solemnly, our
+camels rising and sniffing the breeze with a superior air, as who should
+say, 'I happen to be going where you happen to be going; but don't for a
+moment suppose I do it to please you. It is mere coincidence. You are
+bound for Wadi Bou: I have business of my own which chances to take me
+there.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 334px;"><a name="ILL_047" id="ILL_047"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_047.jpg" width="334" height="500" alt="RIDING A CAMEL DOES NOT GREATLY DIFFER FROM SEA-SICKNESS." title="" />
+<span class="caption">RIDING A CAMEL DOES NOT GREATLY DIFFER FROM SEA-SICKNESS.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Over the incidents of the journey I draw a veil. Riding a camel, I find,
+does not greatly differ from sea-sickness. They are the same phenomenon
+under altered circumstances.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> We had been assured beforehand on
+excellent authority that 'much of the comfort on a desert journey
+depends upon having a good camel.' On this matter, I am no authority. I
+do not set up as a judge of camel-flesh. But I did not notice <i>any</i> of
+the comfort; so I venture to believe my camel must have been an
+exceptionally bad one.</p>
+
+<p>We expected trouble from the fanatical natives; I am bound to admit, we
+had most trouble with Elsie. She was not insubordinate, but she did not
+care for camel-riding. And her beast took advantage of her youth and
+innocence. A well-behaved camel should go almost as fast as a child can
+walk, and should not sit down plump on the burning sand without due
+reason. Elsie's brute crawled, and called halts for prayer at frequent
+intervals; it tried to kneel like a good Mussulman many times a day; and
+it showed an intolerant disposition to crush the infidel by rolling over
+on top of Elsie. Dr. Macloghlen admonished it with Irish eloquence, not
+always in language intended for publication; but it only turned up its
+supercilious lip and inquired in its own unspoken tongue what <i>he</i> knew
+about the desert.</p>
+
+<p>'I feel like a wurrum before the baste,' the Doctor said, nonplussed.</p>
+
+<p>If the Nile was monotonous, the road to Wadi Bou was nothing short of
+dreary. We crossed a great ridge of bare, gray rock, and followed a
+rolling valley of sand, scored by dry ravines, and baking in the sun. It
+was ghastly to look upon. All day long, save at the midday rest by some
+brackish wells, we rode on and on, the brutes stepping forward with
+slow, outstretched legs; though sometimes we walked by the camels' sides
+to vary the monotony; but ever through that dreary upland plain, sand in
+the centre, rocky mountain at the edge, and not a thing to look at. We
+were relieved towards evening to stumble against stunted tamarisks,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>
+half buried in sand, and to feel we were approaching the edge of the
+oasis.</p>
+
+<p>When at last our arrogant beasts condescended to stop, in their
+patronising way, we saw by the dim light of the moon a sort of uneven
+basin or hollow, studded with date-palms, and in the midst of the
+depression a crumbling walled town, with a whitewashed mosque, two
+minarets by its side, and a crowd of mud-houses. It was strangely
+familiar. We had come all this way just to see Aboo-Teeg or Koos-kam
+over again!</p>
+
+<p>We camped outside the fortified town that night. Next morning we essayed
+to make our entry.</p>
+
+<p>At first, the servants of the Prophet on watch at the gate raised
+serious objections. No infidel might enter. But we had a pass from
+Cairo, exhorting the faithful in the name of the Khedive to give us food
+and shelter; and after much examination and many loud discussions, the
+gatemen passed us. We entered the town, and stood alone, three Christian
+Europeans, in the midst of three thousand fanatical Mohammedans.</p>
+
+<p>I confess it was weird. Elsie shrank by my side. 'Suppose they were to
+attack us, Brownie?'</p>
+
+<p>'Thin the sheikh here would never get paid,' Dr. Macloghlen put in with
+true Irish recklessness. 'Faix, he'll whistle for his money on the
+whistle I gave him.' That touch of humour saved us. We laughed; and the
+people about saw we could laugh. They left off scowling, and pressed
+around trying to sell us pottery and native brooches. In the intervals
+of fanaticism, the Arab has an eye to business.</p>
+
+<p>We passed up the chief street of the bazaar. The inhabitants told us in
+pantomime the chief of the town was away at Asioot, whither he had gone
+two days ago on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span> business. If he were here, our interpreter gave us to
+understand, things might have been different; for the chief had
+determined that, whatever came, no infidel dog should settle in <i>his</i>
+oasis.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_048" id="ILL_048"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_048.jpg" width="500" height="500" alt="HER AGITATION WAS EVIDENT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HER AGITATION WAS EVIDENT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The women with their veiled faces attracted us strangely. They were
+wilder than on the river. They ran when one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span> looked at them. Suddenly,
+as we passed one, we saw her give a little start. She was veiled like
+the rest, but her agitation was evident even through her thick covering.</p>
+
+<p>'She is afraid of Christians,' Elsie cried, nestling towards me.</p>
+
+<p>The woman passed close to us. She never looked in our direction, but in
+a very low voice she murmured, as she passed, 'Then you are English!'</p>
+
+<p>I had presence of mind enough to conceal my surprise at this unexpected
+utterance. 'Don't seem to notice her, Elsie,' I said, looking away.
+'Yes, we are English.'</p>
+
+<p>She stopped and pretended to examine some jewellery on a stall. 'So am
+I,' she went on, in the same suppressed low voice. 'For Heaven's sake,
+help me!'</p>
+
+<p>'What are you doing here?'</p>
+
+<p>'I live here&mdash;married. I was with Gordon's force at Khartoum. They
+carried me off. A mere girl then. Now I am thirty.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you have been here ever since?'</p>
+
+<p>She turned away and walked off, but kept whispering behind her veil. We
+followed, unobtrusively. 'Yes; I was sold to a man at Dongola. He passed
+me on again to the chief of this oasis. I don't know where it is; but I
+have been here ever since. I hate this life. Is there any chance of a
+rescue?'</p>
+
+<p>'Anny chance of a rescue, is it?' the Doctor broke in, a trifle too
+ostensibly. 'If it costs us a whole British Army, me dear lady, we'll
+fetch you away and save you.'</p>
+
+<p>'But now&mdash;to-day? You won't go away and leave me? You are the first
+Europeans I have seen since Khartoum fell. They may sell me again. You
+will not desert me?'</p>
+
+<p>'No,' I said. 'We will not.' Then I reflected a moment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>What on earth could we do? This was a painful dilemma. If we once lost
+sight of her, we might not see her again. Yet if we walked with her
+openly, and talked like friends, we would betray ourselves, and her, to
+those fanatical Senoosis.</p>
+
+<p>I made my mind up promptly. I may not have much of a mind; but, such as
+it is, I flatter myself I can make it up at a moment's notice.</p>
+
+<p>'Can you come to us outside the gate at sunset?' I asked, as if speaking
+to Elsie.</p>
+
+<p>The woman hesitated. 'I think so.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then keep us in sight all day, and when evening comes, stroll out
+behind us.'</p>
+
+<p>She turned over some embroidered slippers on a booth, and seemed to be
+inspecting them. 'But my children?' she murmured anxiously.</p>
+
+<p>The Doctor interposed. 'Is it childern she has?' he asked. 'Thin they'll
+be the Mohammedan gintleman's. We mustn't interfere wid <i>them</i>. We can
+take away the lady&mdash;she's English, and detained against her will: but we
+can't deprive anny man of his own childern'.</p>
+
+<p>I was firm, and categorical. 'Yes, we can,' I said, stoutly; 'if he has
+forced a woman to bear them to him whether she would or not. That's
+common justice. I have no respect for the Mohammedan gentleman's rights.
+Let her bring them with her. How many are there?'</p>
+
+<p>'Two&mdash;a boy and girl; not very old; the eldest is seven.' She spoke
+wistfully. A mother is a mother.</p>
+
+<p>'Then say no more now, but keep us always in sight, and we will keep
+<i>you</i>. Come to us at the gate about sundown. We will carry you off with
+us.'</p>
+
+<p>She clasped her hands and moved off with the peculiar gliding air of the
+veiled Mohammedan woman. Our eyes<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span> followed her. We walked on through
+the bazaar, thinking of nothing else now. It was strange how this
+episode made us forget our selfish fears for our own safety. Even dear
+timid Elsie remembered only that an Englishwoman's life and liberty were
+at stake. We kept her more or less in view all day. She glided in and
+out among the people in the alleys. When we went back to the camels at
+lunch-time, she followed us unobtrusively through the open gate, and sat
+watching us from a little way off, among a crowd of gazers; for all Wadi
+Bou was of course agog at this unwonted invasion.</p>
+
+<p>We discussed the circumstance loudly, so that she might hear our plans.
+Dr. Macloghlen advised that we should tell our sheikh we meant to return
+part of the way to Geergeh that evening by moonlight. I quite agreed
+with him. It was the only way out. Besides, I didn't like the looks of
+the people. They eyed us askance. This was getting exciting now. I felt
+a professional journalistic interest. Whether we escaped or got killed,
+what splendid business for the <i>Daily Telephone</i>!</p>
+
+<p>The sheikh, of course, declared it was impossible to start that evening.
+The men wouldn't move&mdash;the camels needed rest. But Dr. Macloghlen was
+inexorable. 'Very well, thin, Mr. Sheikh,' he answered, philosophically.
+'Ye'll plaze yerself about whether ye come on wid us or whether ye
+shtop. That's yer own business. But <i>we</i> set out at sundown; and whin ye
+return by yerself on foot to Geergeh, ye can ask for yer camels at the
+British Consulate.'</p>
+
+<p>All through that anxious afternoon we sat in our tents, under the shade
+of the mud-wall, wondering whether we could carry out our plan or not.
+About an hour before sunset the veiled woman strolled out of the gate
+with her two children. She joined the crowd of sight-seers once<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span> more,
+for never through the day were we left alone for a second. The
+excitement grew intense. Elsie and I moved up carelessly towards the
+group, talking as if to one another. I looked hard at Elsie: then I
+said, as though I were speaking about one of the children, 'Go straight
+along the road to Geergeh till you are past the big clump of palms at
+the edge of the oasis. Just beyond it comes a sharp ridge of rock. Wait
+behind the ridge where no one can see you. When we get there,' I patted
+the little girl's head, 'don't say a word, but jump on my camel. My two
+friends will each take one of the children. If you understand and
+consent, stroke your boy's curls. We will accept that for a signal.'</p>
+
+<p>She stroked the child's head at once without the least hesitation. Even
+through her veil and behind her dress, I could somehow feel and see her
+trembling nerves, her beating heart. But she gave no overt token. She
+merely turned and muttered something carelessly in Arabic to a woman
+beside her.</p>
+
+<p>We waited once more, in long-drawn suspense. Would she manage to escape
+them? Would they suspect her motives?</p>
+
+<p>After ten minutes, when we had returned to our crouching-place under the
+shadow of the wall, the woman detached herself slowly from the group,
+and began strolling with almost overdone nonchalance along the road to
+Geergeh. We could see the little girl was frightened and seemed to
+expostulate with her mother: fortunately, the Arabs about were too much
+occupied in watching the suspicious strangers to notice this episode of
+their own people. Presently, our new friend disappeared; and, with
+beating hearts, we awaited the sunset.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_049" id="ILL_049"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_049.jpg" width="500" height="359" alt="CROUCHING BY THE ROCKS SAT OUR MYSTERIOUS STRANGER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">CROUCHING BY THE ROCKS SAT OUR MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Then came the usual scene of hubbub with the sheikh, the camels, the
+porters, and the drivers. It was eagerness<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> against apathy. With
+difficulty we made them understand we meant to get under way at all
+hazards. I stormed in bad Arabic. The Doctor inveighed in very choice
+Irish. At last they yielded, and set out. One by one the camels rose,
+bent their slow knees, and began to stalk in their lordly way with
+outstretched necks along the road to the river. We moved through the
+palm groves, a crowd of boys following us and shouting for backsheesh.
+We began to be afraid they would accompany us too far and discover our
+fugitive; but fortunately they all turned back with one accord at a
+little whitewashed shrine near the edge of the oasis. We reached the
+clump of palms; we turned the corner of the ridge. Had we missed one
+another? No! There, crouching<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span> by the rocks, with her children by her
+side, sat our mysterious stranger.</p>
+
+<p>The Doctor was equal to the emergency. 'Make those bastes kneel!' he
+cried authoritatively to the sheikh.</p>
+
+<p>The sheikh was taken aback. This was a new exploit burst upon him. He
+flung his arms up, gesticulating wildly. The Doctor, unmoved, made the
+drivers understand by some strange pantomime what he wanted. They
+nodded, half terrified. In a second, the stranger was by my side, Elsie
+had taken the girl, the Doctor the boy, and the camels were passively
+beginning to rise again. That is the best of your camel. Once set him on
+his road, and he goes mechanically.</p>
+
+<p>The sheikh broke out with several loud remarks in Arabic, which we did
+not understand, but whose hostile character could not easily escape us.
+He was beside himself with anger. Then I was suddenly aware of the
+splendid advantage of having an Irishman on our side. Dr. Macloghlen
+drew his revolver, like one well used to such episodes, and pointed it
+full at the angry Arab. 'Look here, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, calmly, yet
+with a fine touch of bravado; 'do ye see this revolver? Well, unless ye
+make yer camels thravel sthraight to Geergeh widout wan other wurrud,
+'tis yer own brains will be spattered, sor, on the sand of this desert!
+And if ye touch wan hair of our heads, ye'll answer for it wid yer life
+to the British Government.'</p>
+
+<p>I do not feel sure that the sheikh comprehended the exact nature of each
+word in this comprehensive threat, but I am certain he took in its
+general meaning, punctuated as it was with some flourishes of the
+revolver. He turned to the drivers and made a gesture of despair. It
+meant, apparently, that this infidel was too much for him. Then he
+called out a few sharp directions in Arabic. Next minute,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span> our camels'
+legs were stepping out briskly along the road to Geergeh with a
+promptitude which I'm sure must have astonished their owners. We rode on
+and on through the gloom in a fever of suspense. Had any of the Senoosis
+noticed our presence? Would they miss the chief's wife before long, and
+follow us under arms? Would our own sheikh betray us? I am no coward, as
+women go, but I confess, if it had not been for our fiery Irishman, I
+should have felt my heart sink. We were grateful to him for the reckless
+and good-humoured courage of the untamed Celt. It kept us from giving
+way. 'Ye'll take notice, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, as we threaded our way
+among the moon-lit rocks, 'that I have twinty-wan cartridges in me case
+for me revolver; and that if there's throuble to-night, 'tis twinty of
+them there'll be for your frinds the Senoosis, and wan for yerself; but
+for fear of disappointing a gintleman, 'tis yer own special bullet I'll
+disthribute first, if it comes to fighting.'</p>
+
+<p>The sheikh's English was a vanishing quantity, but to judge by the way
+he nodded and salaamed at this playful remark, I am convinced he
+understood the Doctor's Irish quite as well as I did.</p>
+
+<p>We spoke little by the way; we were all far too frightened, except the
+Doctor, who kept our hearts up by a running fire of wild Celtic humour.
+But I found time meanwhile to learn by a few questions from our veiled
+friend something of her captivity. She had seen her father massacred
+before her eyes at Khartoum, and had then been sold away to a merchant,
+who conveyed her by degrees and by various exchanges across the desert
+through lonely spots to the Senoosi oasis. There she had lived all those
+years with the chief to whom her last purchaser had trafficked her. She
+did not even know that her husband's village was an integral part of the
+Khedive's territory; far less that the English were now in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span> practical
+occupation of Egypt. She had heard nothing and learnt nothing since that
+fateful day; she had waited in vain for the off-chance of a deliverer.</p>
+
+<p>'But did you never try to run away to the Nile?' I cried, astonished.</p>
+
+<p>'Run away? How could I? I did not even know which way the river lay; and
+was it possible for me to cross the desert on foot, or find the chance
+of a camel? The Senoosis would have killed me. Even with you to help me,
+see what dangers surround me; alone, I should have perished, like Hagar
+in the wilderness, with no angel to save me.'</p>
+
+<p>'An' ye've got the angel now,' Dr. Macloghlen exclaimed, glancing at me.
+'Steady, there, Mr. Sheikh. What's this that's coming?'</p>
+
+<p>It was another caravan, going the opposite way, on its road to the
+oasis! A voice halloaed from it.</p>
+
+<p>Our new friend clung tight to me. 'My husband!' she whispered, gasping.</p>
+
+<p>They were still far off on the desert, and the moon shone bright. A few
+hurried words to the Doctor, and with a wild resolve we faced the
+emergency. He made the camels halt, and all of us, springing off,
+crouched down behind their shadows in such a way that the coming caravan
+must pass on the far side of us. At the same moment the Doctor turned
+resolutely to the sheikh. 'Look here, Mr. Arab,' he said in a quiet
+voice, with one more appeal to the simple Volapuk of the pointed
+revolver; 'I cover ye wid this. Let these frinds of yours go by. If
+there's anny unnecessary talking betwixt ye, or anny throuble of anny
+kind, remimber, the first bullet goes sthraight as an arrow t'rough that
+haythen head of yours!'</p>
+
+<p>The sheikh salaamed more submissively than ever.</p>
+
+<p>The caravan drew abreast of us. We could hear them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span> cry aloud on either
+side the customary salutes: 'In Allah's name, peace!' answered by 'Allah
+is great; there is no god but Allah.'</p>
+
+<p>Would anything more happen? Would our sheikh play us false? It was a
+moment of breathlessness. We crouched and cowered in the shade, holding
+our hearts with fear, while the Arab drivers pretended to be unsaddling
+the camels. A minute or two of anxious suspense; then, peering over our
+beasts' backs, we saw their long line filing off towards the oasis. We
+watched their turbaned heads, silhouetted against the sky, disappear
+slowly. One by one they faded away. The danger was past. With beating
+hearts we rose up again.</p>
+
+<p>The Doctor sprang into his place and seated himself on his camel. 'Now
+ride on, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, 'wid all yer men, as if grim death was
+afther ye. Camels or no camels, ye've got to march all night, for ye'll
+never draw rein till we're safe back at Geergeh!'</p>
+
+<p>And sure enough we never halted, under the persuasive influence of that
+loaded revolver, till we dismounted once more in the early dawn upon the
+Nile bank, under British protection.</p>
+
+<p>Then Elsie and I and our rescued country-woman broke down together in an
+orgy of relief. We hugged one another and cried like so many children.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN</h3>
+
+<p>Away to India! A life on the ocean wave once more; and&mdash;may it prove
+less wavy!</p>
+
+<p>In plain prose, my arrangement with 'my proprietor,' Mr. Elworthy (thus
+we speak in the newspaper trade), included a trip to Bombay for myself
+and Elsie. So, as soon as we had drained Upper Egypt journalistically
+dry, we returned to Cairo on our road to Suez. I am glad to say, my
+letters to the <i>Daily Telephone</i> gave satisfaction. My employer wrote,
+'You are a born journalist.' I confess this surprised me; for I have
+always considered myself a truthful person. Still, as he evidently meant
+it for praise, I took the doubtful compliment in good part, and offered
+no remonstrance.</p>
+
+<p>I have a mercurial temperament. My spirits rise and fall as if they were
+Consols. Monotonous Egypt depressed me, as it depressed the Israelites;
+but the passage of the Red Sea set me sounding my timbrel. I love fresh
+air; I love the sea, if the sea will but behave itself; and I positively
+revelled in the change from Egypt.</p>
+
+<p>Unfortunately, we had taken our passages by a P. and O. steamer from
+Suez to Bombay many weeks beforehand, so as to secure good berths; and
+still more unfortunately, in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> a letter to Lady Georgina, I had chanced
+to mention the name of our ship and the date of the voyage. I kept up a
+spasmodic correspondence with Lady Georgina nowadays&mdash;tuppence-ha'penny
+a fortnight; the dear, cantankerous, racy old lady had been the
+foundation of my fortunes, and I was genuinely grateful to her; or,
+rather, I ought to say, she had been their second foundress, for I will
+do myself the justice to admit that the first was my own initiative and
+enterprise. I flatter myself I have the knack of taking the tide on the
+turn, and I am justly proud of it. But, being a grateful animal, I wrote
+once a fortnight to report progress to Lady Georgina. Besides&mdash;let me
+whisper&mdash;strictly between ourselves&mdash;'twas an indirect way of hearing
+about Harold.</p>
+
+<p>This time, however, as events turned out, I recognised that I had made a
+grave mistake in confiding my movements to my shrewd old lady. She did
+not betray me on purpose, of course; but I gathered later that casually
+in conversation she must have mentioned the fact and date of my sailing
+before somebody who ought to have had no concern in it; and the
+somebody, I found, had governed himself accordingly. All this, however,
+I only discovered afterwards. So, without anticipating, I will narrate
+the facts exactly as they occurred to me.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 253px;"><a name="ILL_050" id="ILL_050"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_050.jpg" width="253" height="500" alt="AN ODD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">AN ODD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>When we mounted the gangway of the <i>Jumna</i> at Suez, and began the
+process of frizzling down the Red Sea, I noted on deck almost at once an
+odd-looking young man of twenty-two or thereabouts, with a curious faint
+pea-green complexion. He was the wishy-washiest young man I ever beheld
+in my life; an achromatic study: in spite of the delicate pea-greeniness
+of his skin, all the colouring matter of the body seemed somehow to have
+faded out of him. Perhaps he had been bleached. As he leant over the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>
+taffrail, gazing down with open mouth and vacant stare at the water, I
+took a good long look at him. He interested me much&mdash;because he was so
+exceptionally uninteresting; a pallid, an&aelig;mic, indefinite hobbledehoy,
+with a high, narrow forehead, and sketchy features. He had watery,
+restless eyes of an insipid light blue; thin, yellow hair, almost white
+in its paleness; and twitching hands that played nervously all the time
+with a shadowy moustache. This shadowy moustache seemed to absorb as a
+rule the best part of his attention; it was so sparse and so blanched
+that he felt it continually&mdash;to assure himself, no doubt, of the reality
+of its existence. I need hardly add that he wore an eye-glass.</p>
+
+<p>He was an aristocrat, I felt sure; Eton and Christ Church: no ordinary
+person could have been quite so flavourless. Imbecility like his is only
+to be attained as the result of long and judicious selection.</p>
+
+<p>He went on gazing in a vacant way at the water below,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> an ineffectual
+patrician smile playing feebly round the corners of his mouth meanwhile.
+Then he turned and stared at me as I lay back in my deck-chair. For a
+minute he looked me over as if I were a horse for sale. When he had
+finished inspecting me, he beckoned to somebody at the far end of the
+quarter-deck.</p>
+
+<p>The somebody sidled up with a deferential air which confirmed my belief
+in the pea-green young man's aristocratic origin. It was such deference
+as the British flunkey pays only to blue blood; for he has gradations of
+flunkeydom. He is respectful to wealth; polite to acquired rank; but
+servile only to hereditary nobility. Indeed, you can make a rough guess
+at the social status of the person he addresses by observing which one
+of his twenty-seven nicely graduated manners he adopts in addressing
+him.</p>
+
+<p>The pea-green young man glanced over in my direction, and murmured
+something to the satellite, whose back was turned towards me. I felt
+sure, from his attitude, he was asking whether I was the person he
+suspected me to be. The satellite nodded assent, whereat the pea-green
+young man, screwing up his face to fix his eye-glass, stared harder than
+ever. He must be heir to a peerage, I felt convinced; nobody short of
+that rank would consider himself entitled to stare with such frank
+unconcern at an unknown lady.</p>
+
+<p>Presently it further occurred to me that the satellite's back seemed
+strangely familiar. 'I have seen that man somewhere, Elsie,' I
+whispered, putting aside the wisps of hair that blew about my face.</p>
+
+<p>'So have I, dear,' Elsie answered, with a slight shudder. And I was
+instinctively aware that I too disliked him.</p>
+
+<p>As Elsie spoke, the man turned, and strolled slowly past us, with that
+ineffable insolence which is the other side of the flunkey's
+insufferable self-abasement. He cast a glance<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> at us as he went by, a
+withering glance of brazen effrontery. We knew him now, of course: it
+was that variable star, our old acquaintance, Mr. Higginson the courier.</p>
+
+<p>He was here as himself this time; no longer the count or the mysterious
+faith-healer. The diplomat hid his rays under the garb of the
+man-servant.</p>
+
+<p>'Depend upon it, Elsie,' I cried, clutching her arm with a vague sense
+of fear, 'this man means mischief. There is danger ahead. When a
+creature of Higginson's sort, who has risen to be a count and a
+fashionable physician, descends again to be a courier, you may rest
+assured it is because he has something to gain by it. He has some deep
+scheme afloat. And <i>we</i> are part of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'His master looks weak enough and silly enough for anything,' Elsie
+answered, eyeing the suspected lordling. 'I should think he is just the
+sort of man such a wily rogue would naturally fasten upon.'</p>
+
+<p>'When a wily rogue gets hold of a weak fool, who is also dishonest,' I
+said, 'the two together may make a formidable combination. But never
+mind. We're forewarned. I think I shall be even with him.'</p>
+
+<p>That evening, at dinner in the saloon, the pea-green young man strolled
+in with a jaunty air and took his seat next to us. The Red Sea, by the
+way, was kinder than the Mediterranean: it allowed us to dine from the
+very first evening. Cards had been laid on the plates to mark our
+places. I glanced at my neighbour's. It bore the inscription, 'Viscount
+Southminster.'</p>
+
+<p>That was the name of Lord Kynaston's eldest son&mdash;Lady Georgina's nephew;
+Harold Tillington's cousin! So <i>this</i> was the man who might possibly
+inherit Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money! I remembered now how often and
+how fervently Lady Georgina had said, 'Kynaston's sons are all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span> fools.'
+If the rest came up to sample, I was inclined to agree with her.</p>
+
+<p>It also flashed across me that Lord Southminster might have heard
+through Higginson of our meeting with Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst at Florence,
+and of my acquaintance with Harold Tillington at Schlangenbad and
+Lungern. With a woman's instinct, I jumped at the fact that the
+pea-green young man had taken passage by this boat, on purpose to baffle
+both me and Harold.</p>
+
+<p>Thinking it over, it seemed to me, too, that he might have various
+possible points of view on the matter. He might desire, for example,
+that Harold should marry me, under the impression that his marriage with
+a penniless outsider would annoy his uncle; for the pea-green young man
+doubtless thought that I was still to Mr. Ashurst just that dreadful
+adventuress. If so, his obvious cue would be to promote a good
+understanding between Harold and myself, in order to make us marry, so
+that the urbane old gentlemen might then disinherit his favourite
+nephew, and make a new will in Lord Southminster's interest. Or again,
+the pea-green young man might, on the contrary, be aware that Mr.
+Ashurst and I had got on admirably together when we met at Florence; in
+which case his aim would naturally be to find out something that might
+set the rich uncle against me. Yet once more, he might merely have heard
+that I had drawn up Uncle Marmaduke's will at the office, and he might
+desire to worm the contents of it out of me. Whichever was his design, I
+resolved to be upon my guard in every word I said to him, and leave no
+door open to any trickery either way. For of one thing I felt sure, that
+the colourless young man had torn himself away from the mud-honey of
+Piccadilly for this voyage to India only because he had heard there was
+a chance of meeting me.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>That was a politic move, whoever planned it&mdash;himself or Higginson; for a
+week on board ship with a person or persons is the very best chance of
+getting thrown in with them; whether they like it or lump it, they can't
+easily avoid you.</p>
+
+<p>It was while I was pondering these things in my mind, and resolving with
+myself not to give myself away, that the young man with the pea-green
+face lounged in and dropped into the next seat to me. He was dressed
+(amongst other things) in a dinner jacket and a white tie; for myself, I
+detest such fopperies on board ship; they seem to me out of place; they
+conflict with the infinite possibilities of the situation. One stands
+too near the realities of things. Evening dress and <i>mal-de-mer</i> sort
+ill together.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_051" id="ILL_051"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_051.jpg" width="600" height="314" alt="HE TURNED TO ME WITH AN INANE SMILE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE TURNED TO ME WITH AN INANE SMILE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>As my neighbour sat down, he turned to me with an inane smile which
+occupied all his face. 'Good evening,' he said, in a baronial drawl.
+'Miss Cayley, I gathah? I asked the skippah's leave to set next yah. We
+ought to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span> friends&mdash;rathah. I think yah know my poor deah old aunt,
+Lady Georgina Fawley.'</p>
+
+<p>I bowed a somewhat, freezing bow. 'Lady Georgina is one of my dearest
+friends,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'No, really? Poor deah old Georgey! Got somebody to stick up for her at
+last, has she? Now that's what I call chivalrous of yah. Magnanimous,
+isn't it? I like to see people stick up for their friends. And it must
+be a novelty for Georgey. For between you and me, a moah cantankerous
+spiteful acidulated old cough-drop than the poor deah soul it 'ud be
+difficult to hit upon.'</p>
+
+<p>'Lady Georgina has brains,' I answered; 'and they enable her to
+recognise a fool when she sees him. I will admit that she does not
+suffer fools gladly.'</p>
+
+<p>He turned to me with a sudden sharp look in the depths of the
+lack-lustre eyes. Already it began to strike me that, though the
+pea-green young man was inane, he had his due proportion of a certain
+insidious practical cunning. 'That's true,' he answered, measuring me.
+'And according to her, almost everybody's a fool&mdash;especially her
+relations. There's a fine knack of sweeping generalisation about deah
+skinny old Georgey. The few people she reahlly likes are all archangels;
+the rest are blithering idiots; there's no middle course with her.'</p>
+
+<p>I held my peace frigidly.</p>
+
+<p>'She thinks me a very special and peculiah fool,' he went on, crumbling
+his bread.</p>
+
+<p>'Lady Georgina,' I answered, 'is a person of exceptional discrimination.
+I would almost always accept her judgment on anyone as practically
+final.'</p>
+
+<p>He laid down his soup-spoon, fondled the imperceptible moustache with
+his tapering fingers, and then broke once more into a cheerful expanse
+of smile which reminded me of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span> nothing so much as of the village idiot.
+It spread over his face as the splash from a stone spreads over a
+mill-pond. 'Now that's a nice cheerful sort of thing to say to a
+fellah,' he ejaculated, fixing his eye-glass in his eye, with a few
+fierce contortions of his facial muscles. 'That's encouraging, don't yah
+know, as the foundation of an acquaintance. Makes a good cornah-stone.
+Calculated to place things at once upon what yah call a friendly basis.
+Georgey said you had a pretty wit; I see now why she admiahed it. Birds
+of a feathah: very wise old proverb.'</p>
+
+<p>I reflected that, after all, this young man had nothing overt against
+him, beyond a fishy blue eye and an inane expression; so, feeling that I
+had perhaps gone a little too far, I continued after a minute, 'And your
+uncle, how is he?'</p>
+
+<p>'Marmy?' he inquired, with another elephantine smile; and then I
+perceived it was a form of humour with him (or rather, a cheap
+substitute) to speak of his elder relations by their abbreviated
+Christian names, without any prefix. 'Marmy's doing very well, thank
+yah; as well as could be expected. In fact, bettah. Habakkuk on the
+brain: it's carrying him off at last. He has Bright's disease very
+bad&mdash;drank port, don't yah know&mdash;and won't trouble this wicked world
+much longah with his presence. It will be a happy release&mdash;especially
+for his nephews.'</p>
+
+<p>I was really grieved, for I had grown to like the urbane old gentleman,
+as I had grown to like the cantankerous old lady. In spite of his
+fussiness and his Stock Exchange views on the interpretation of
+Scripture, his genuine kindliness and his real liking for me had
+softened my heart to him; and my face must have shown my distress, for
+the pea-green young man added quickly with an afterthought: 'But <i>you</i>
+needn't be afraid, yah know. It's all right for Harold Tillington. You
+ought to know that as well as anyone&mdash;and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span> bettah: for it was you who
+drew up his will for him at Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>I flushed crimson, I believe. Then he knew all about me! 'I was not
+asking on Mr. Tillington's account,' I answered. 'I asked because I have
+a personal feeling of friendship for your uncle, Mr. Ashurst.'</p>
+
+<p>His hand strayed up to the straggling yellow hairs on his upper lip once
+more, and he smiled again, this time with a curious undercurrent of
+foolish craftiness. 'That's a good one,' he answered. 'Georgey told me
+you were original. Marmy's a millionaire, and many people love
+millionaires for their money. But to love Marmy for himself&mdash; I do call
+that originality! Why, weight for age, he's acknowledged to be the most
+portentous old boah in London society!'</p>
+
+<p>'I like Mr. Ashurst because he has a kind heart and some genuine
+instincts,' I answered. 'He has not allowed all human feeling to be
+replaced by a cheap mask of Pall Mall cynicism.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I say; how's that for preaching? Don't you manage to give it hot to
+a fellah, neithah! And at sight, too, without the usual three days of
+grace. Have some of my champagne? I'm a forgiving creachah.'</p>
+
+<p>'No, thank you. I prefer this hock.'</p>
+
+<p>'Your friend, then?' And he motioned the steward to pass the bottle.</p>
+
+<p>To my great disgust, Elsie held out her glass. I was annoyed at that. It
+showed she had missed the drift of our conversation, and was therefore
+lacking in feminine intuition. I should be sorry if I had allowed the
+higher mathematics to kill out in me the most distinctively womanly
+faculty.</p>
+
+<p>From that first day forth, however, in spite of this beginning, Lord
+Southminster almost persecuted me with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> his persistent attentions. He
+did all a fellah could possibly do to please me. I could not make out
+precisely what he was driving at; but I saw he had some artful game of
+his own to play, and that he was playing it subtly. I also saw that,
+vapid as he was, his vapidity did not prevent him from being worldly
+wise with the wisdom of the self-seeking man of the world, who utterly
+distrusts and disbelieves in all the higher emotions of humanity. He
+harped so often on this string that on our second day out, as we lolled
+on deck in the heat, I had to rebuke him sharply. He had been sneering
+for some hours. 'There are two kinds of silly simplicity, Lord
+Southminster,' I said, at last. 'One kind is the silly simplicity of the
+rustic who trusts everybody; the other kind is the silly simplicity of
+the Pall Mall clubman who trusts nobody. It is just as foolish and just
+as one-sided to overlook the good as to overlook the evil in humanity.
+If you trust everyone, you are likely to be taken in; but if you trust
+no one, you put yourself at a serious practical disadvantage, besides
+losing half the joy of living.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you think me a fool, like Georgey?' he broke out.</p>
+
+<p>'I should never be rude enough to say so,' I answered, fanning myself.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, you're what I call a first-rate companion for a voyage down the
+Red Sea,' he put in, gazing abstractedly at the awnings. 'Such a lovely
+freezing mixture! A fellah doesn't need ices when <i>you're</i> on tap. I
+recommend you as a refrigeratah.'</p>
+
+<p>'I am glad,' I answered demurely, 'if I have secured your approbation in
+that humble capacity. I'm sure I have tried hard for it.'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_052" id="ILL_052"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_052.jpg" width="500" height="494" alt="NOTHING SEEMED TO PUT THE MAN DOWN." title="" />
+<span class="caption">NOTHING SEEMED TO PUT THE MAN DOWN.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Yet nothing that I could say seemed to put the man down. In spite of
+rebuffs, he was assiduous in running<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span> down the companion-ladder for my
+parasol or my smelling-bottle; he fetched me chairs; he stayed me with
+cushions; he offered to lend me books; he pestered me to drink his wine;
+and he kept Elsie in champagne, which she annoyed me by accepting. Poor
+dear Elsie clearly failed to understand the creature. 'He's so kind and
+polite, Brownie, isn't he?' she would observe in her simple fashion. 'Do
+you know, I think he's taken quite a fancy to you! And he'll be an earl
+by-and-by. I call it romantic. How lovely it would seem, dear, to see
+you a countess.'</p>
+
+<p>'Elsie,' I said severely, with one hand on her arm, 'you are a dear
+little soul, and I am very fond of you; but if you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> think I could sell
+myself for a coronet to a pasty-faced young man with a pea-green
+complexion and glassy blue eyes&mdash;I can only say, my child, you have
+misread my character. He isn't a man: he's a lump of putty!'</p>
+
+<p>I think Elsie was quite shocked that I should apply these terms to a
+courtesy lord, the eldest son of a peer. Nature had endowed her with the
+profound British belief that peers should be spoken of in choice and
+peculiar language. 'If a peer's a fool,' Lady Georgina said once to me,
+'people think you should say his temperament does not fit him for the
+conduct of affairs: if he's a rou&eacute; or a drunkard, they think you should
+say he has unfortunate weaknesses.'</p>
+
+<p>What most of all convinced me, however, that the wishy-washy young man
+with the pea-green complexion must be playing some stealthy game, was
+the demeanour and mental attitude of Mr. Higginson, his courier. After
+the first day, Higginson appeared to be politeness and deference itself
+to us. He behaved to us both, <i>almost</i> as if we belonged to the titled
+classes. He treated us with the second best of his twenty-seven
+graduated manners. He fetched and carried for us with a courtly grace
+which recalled that distinguished diplomat, the Comte de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret, at the station at Malines with Lady Georgina. It is
+true, at his politest moments, I often caught the undercurrent of a
+wicked twinkle in his eye, and felt sure he was doing it all with some
+profound motive. But his external demeanour was everything that one
+could desire from a well-trained man-servant; I could hardly believe it
+was the same man who had growled to me at Florence, 'I shall be even
+with you yet,' as he left our office.</p>
+
+<p>'Do you know, Brownie,' Elsie mused once, 'I really begin to think we
+must have misjudged Higginson. He's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> so extremely polite. Perhaps, after
+all, he is really a count, who has been exiled and impoverished for his
+political opinions.'</p>
+
+<p>I smiled and held my tongue. Silence costs nothing. But Mr. Higginson's
+political opinions, I felt sure, were of that simple communistic sort
+which the law in its blunt way calls fraudulent. They consisted in a
+belief that all was his which he could lay his hands on.</p>
+
+<p>'Higginson's a splendid fellah for his place, yah know, Miss Cayley,'
+Lord Southminster said to me one evening as we were approaching Aden.
+'What I like about him is, he's so doosid intelligent.'</p>
+
+<p>'Extremely so,' I answered. Then the devil entered into me again. 'He
+had the doosid intelligence even to take in Lady Georgina.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yaas; that's just it, don't you know. Georgey told me that story.
+Screamingly funny, wasn't it? And I said to myself at once, "Higginson's
+the man for me. I want a courier with jolly lots of brains and no
+blooming scruples. I'll entice this chap away from Marmy." And I did. I
+outbid Marmy. Oh, yaas, he's a first-rate fellah, Higginson. What <i>I</i>
+want is a man who will do what he's told, and ask no beastly unpleasant
+questions. Higginson's that man. He's as sharp as a ferret.'</p>
+
+<p>'And as dishonest as they make them.'</p>
+
+<p>He opened his hands with a gesture of unconcern. 'All the bettah for my
+purpose. See how frank I am, Miss Cayley. I tell the truth. The truth is
+very rare. You ought to respect me for it.'</p>
+
+<p>'It depends somewhat upon the <i>kind</i> of truth,' I answered, with a
+random shot. 'I don't respect a man, for instance, for confessing to a
+forgery.'</p>
+
+<p>He winced. Not for months after did I know how a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> stone thrown at a
+venture had chanced to hit the spot, and had vastly enhanced his opinion
+of my cleverness.</p>
+
+<p>'You have heard about Dr. Fortescue-Langley too, I suppose?' I went on.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, yaas. Wasn't it real jam? He did the doctor-trick on a lady in
+Switzerland. And the way he has come it ovah deah simple old Marmy! He
+played Marmy with Ezekiel! Not so dusty, was it? He's too lovely for
+anything!'</p>
+
+<p>'He's an edged tool,' I said.</p>
+
+<p>'Yaas; that's why I use him.'</p>
+
+<p>'And edged tools may cut the user's fingers.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_053" id="ILL_053"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_053.jpg" width="600" height="382" alt="YAH DON&#39;T CATCH ME GOING SO FAH FROM NEWMARKET." title="" />
+<span class="caption">YAH DON&#39;T CATCH ME GOING SO FAH FROM NEWMARKET.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Not mine,' he answered, taking out a cigarette. 'Oh deah no. He can't
+turn against <i>me</i>. He wouldn't dare to. Yah see, I have the fellah
+entirely in my powah. I know all his little games, and I can expose him
+any day. But it suits me to keep him. I don't mind telling yah, since I
+respect your intellect, that he and I are engaged in pulling off a big
+<i>coup</i> togethah. If it were not for that, I wouldn't be heah. Yah don't
+catch me going away so fah from Newmarket and the Empire for nothing.'</p>
+
+<p>'I judged as much,' I answered. And then I was silent.</p>
+
+<p>But I wondered to myself why the neutral-tinted young man should be so
+communicative to an obviously hostile stranger.</p>
+
+<p>For the next few days it amused me to see how hard our lordling tried to
+suit his conversation to myself and Elsie. He was absurdly anxious to
+humour us. Just at first, it is true, he had discussed the subjects that
+lay nearest to his own heart. He was an ardent votary of the noble
+quadruped; and he loved the turf&mdash;whose sward, we judged, he trod mainly
+at Tattersall's. He spoke to us with erudition on 'two-year-old form,'
+and gave us several 'safe things'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span> for the spring handicaps. The Oaks he
+considered 'a moral' for Clorinda. He also retailed certain choice
+anecdotes about ladies whose Christian names were chiefly Tottie and
+Flo, and whose honoured surnames have escaped my memory. Most of them
+flourished, I recollect, at the Frivolity Music Hall. But when he
+learned that our interest in the noble quadruped was scarcely more than
+tepid, and that we had never even visited 'the Friv.,' as he
+affectionately called it, he did his best in turn to acquire our
+subjects. He had heard us talk about Florence, for example, and he
+gathered from our talk that we loved its art treasures. So he set
+himself to work to be studiously artistic. It was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span> a beautiful study in
+human ineptitude. 'Ah, yaas,' he, murmured, turning up the pale blue
+eyes ecstatically towards the mast-head. 'Chawming place, Florence! I
+dote on the pickchahs. I know them all by heart. I assuah yah, I've
+spent houahs and houahs feeding my soul in the galleries.'</p>
+
+<p>'And what particular painter does your soul most feed upon?' I asked
+bluntly, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p>The question staggered him. I could see him hunting through the vacant
+chambers of his brain for a Florentine painter. Then a faint light
+gleamed in the leaden eyes, and he fingered the straw-coloured moustache
+with that nervous hand till he almost put a visible point upon it. 'Ah,
+Raphael?' he said, tentatively, with an inquiring air, yet beaming at
+his success. 'Don't you think so? Splendid artist, Raphael!'</p>
+
+<p>'And a very safe guess,' I answered, leading him on. 'You can't go far
+wrong in mentioning Raphael, can you? But after him?'</p>
+
+<p>He dived into the recesses of his memory again, peered about him for a
+minute or two, and brought back nothing. 'I can't remembah the othah
+fellahs' names,' he went on; 'they're all so much alike: all in <i>elli</i>,
+don't yah know; but I recollect at the time they impressed me awfully.'</p>
+
+<p>'No doubt,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>He tried to look through me, and failed. Then he plunged, like a noble
+sportsman that he was, on a second fetch of memory. 'Ah&mdash;and Michael
+Angelo,' he went on, quite proud of his treasure-trove. 'Sweet things,
+Michael Angelo's!'</p>
+
+<p>'Very sweet,' I admitted. 'So simple; so touching; so tender; so
+domestic!'</p>
+
+<p>I thought Elsie would explode; but she kept her countenance. The
+pea-green young man gazed at me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> uneasily. He had half an idea by this
+time that I was making game of him.</p>
+
+<p>However, he fished up a name once more, and clutched at it. 'Savonarola,
+too,' he adventured. 'I adore Savonarola. His pickchahs are beautiful.'</p>
+
+<p>'And so rare!' Elsie murmured.</p>
+
+<p>'Then there is Fra Diavolo?' I suggested, going one better. 'How do you
+like Fra Diavolo?'</p>
+
+<p>He seemed to have heard the name before, but still he hesitated.
+'Ah&mdash;what did he paint?' he asked, with growing caution.</p>
+
+<p>I stuffed him valiantly. 'Those charming angels, you know,' I answered.
+'With the roses and the glories!'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, yaas; I recollect. All askew, aren't they; like<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span> this! I remembah
+them very well. But&mdash;&mdash;' a doubt flitted across his brain, 'wasn't his
+name Fra Angelico?'</p>
+
+<p>'His brother,' I replied, casting truth to the winds. 'They worked
+together, you must have heard. One did the saints; the other did the
+opposite. Division of labour, don't you see; Fra Angelico, Fra Diavolo.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_054" id="ILL_054"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_054.jpg" width="600" height="378" alt="WASN&#39;T FRA DIAVOLO ALSO A COMPOSAH?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">WASN&#39;T FRA DIAVOLO ALSO A COMPOSAH?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He fingered his cigarette with a dubious hand, and wriggled his
+eye-glass tighter. 'Yaas, beautiful; beautiful! But&mdash;&mdash;' growing
+suspicious apace, 'wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?'</p>
+
+<p>'Of course,' I assented. 'In his off time, he composed. Those early
+Italians&mdash;so versatile, you see; so versatile!'</p>
+
+<p>He had his doubts, but he suppressed them.</p>
+
+<p>'And Torricelli,' I went on, with a side glance at Elsie, who was
+choking by this time. 'And Chianti, and Frittura, and Cinquevalli, and
+Giulio Romano.'</p>
+
+<p>His distrust increased. 'Now you're trying to make me commit myself,' he
+drawled out. 'I remembah Torricelli&mdash;he's the fellah who used to paint
+all his women crooked. But Chianti's a wine; I've often drunk it; and
+Romano's&mdash;well, every fellah knows Romano's is a restaurant near the
+Gaiety Theatre.'</p>
+
+<p>'Besides,' I continued, in a drawl like his own, 'there are Risotto, and
+Gnocchi, and Vermicelli, and Anchovy&mdash;all famous paintahs, and all of
+whom I don't doubt you admiah.'</p>
+
+<p>Elsie exploded at last. But he took no offence. He smiled inanely, as if
+he rather enjoyed it. 'Look heah, you know,' he said, with his crafty
+smile; 'that's one too much. I'm not taking any. You think yourselves
+very clevah for kidding me with paintahs who are really macaroni and
+cheese and claret; yet if I were to tell you the Lejah was run at Ascot,
+or the Cesarewitch at Doncastah, why, you'd<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> be no wisah. When it comes
+to art, I don't have a look in; but I could tell you a thing or two
+about starting prices.'</p>
+
+<p>And I was forced to admit that there he had reason.</p>
+
+<p>Still, I think he realised that he had better avoid the subject of art
+in future, as we avoided the noble quadruped. He saw his limitations.</p>
+
+<p>Not till the last evening before we reached Bombay did I really
+understand the nature of my neighbour's project. That evening, as it
+chanced, Elsie had a headache and went below early. I stopped with her
+till she dozed off; then I slipped up on deck once more for a breath of
+fresh air, before retiring for the night to the hot and stuffy cabin. It
+was an exquisite evening. The moon rode in the pale green sky of the
+tropics. A strange light still lingered on the western horizon. The
+stifling heat of the Red Sea had given way long since to the refreshing
+coolness of the Indian Ocean. I strolled a while on the quarter-deck,
+and sat down at last near the stern. Next moment, I was aware of
+somebody creeping up to me.</p>
+
+<p>'Look heah, Miss Cayley,' a voice broke in; 'I'm in luck at last! I've
+been waiting, oh, evah so long, for this opportunity.'</p>
+
+<p>I turned and faced him. 'Have you, indeed?' I answered. 'Well, I have
+<i>not</i>, Lord Southminster.'</p>
+
+<p>I tried to rise, but he motioned me back to my chair. There were ladies
+on deck, and to avoid being noticed I sank into my seat again.</p>
+
+<p>'I want to speak to you,' he went on, in a voice that (for him) was
+almost impressive. 'Half a mo, Miss Cayley. I want to say&mdash;this last
+night&mdash;you misunderstand me.'</p>
+
+<p>'On the contrary,' I answered, 'the trouble is&mdash;that I understand you
+perfectly.'</p>
+
+<p>'No, yah don't. Look heah.' He bent forward quite<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span> romantically. 'I'm
+going to be perfectly frank. Of course yah know that when I came on
+board this ship I came&mdash;to checkmate yah.'</p>
+
+<p>'Of course,' I replied. 'Why else should you and Higginson have bothered
+to come here?'</p>
+
+<p>He rubbed his hands together. 'That's just it. You're always clevah. You
+hit it first shot. But there's wheah the point comes in. At first, I
+only thought of how we could circumvent yah. I treated yah as the enemy.
+Now, it's all the othah way. Miss Cayley, you're the cleverest woman I
+evah met in this world; you extort my admiration.'</p>
+
+<p>I could not repress a smile. I didn't know how it was, but I could see I
+possessed some mysterious attraction for the Ashurst family. I was fatal
+to Ashursts. Lady Georgina, Harold Tillington, the Honourable Marmaduke,
+Lord Southminster&mdash;different types as they were, all succumbed without
+one blow to me.</p>
+
+<p>'You flatter me,' I answered, coldly.</p>
+
+<p>'No, I don't,' he cried, flashing his cuffs and gazing affectionately at
+his sleeve-links. ''Pon my soul, I assuah yah, I mean it. I can't tell
+you how much I admiah yah. I admiah your intellect. Every day I have
+seen yah, I feel it moah and moah. Why, you're the only person who has
+evah out-flanked my fellah, Higginson. As a rule I don't think much of
+women. I've been through several London seasons, and lots of 'em have
+tried their level best to catch me; the cleverest mammas have been aftah
+me for their Ethels. But I wasn't so easily caught: I dodged the Ethels.
+With you, it's different. I feel'&mdash;he paused&mdash;'you're a woman a fellah
+might be really proud of.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are too kind,' I answered, in my refrigerator voice.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Well, will you take me?' he asked, trying to seize my hand. 'Miss
+Cayley, if you will, you will make me unspeakably happy.'</p>
+
+<p>It was a great effort&mdash;for him&mdash;and I was sorry to crush it. 'I regret,'
+I said, 'that I am compelled to deny you unspeakable happiness.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_055" id="ILL_055"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_055.jpg" width="600" height="557" alt="TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, YOU&#39;RE STAKING YOUR MONEY ON THE WRONG FELLAH." title="" />
+<span class="caption">TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, YOU&#39;RE STAKING YOUR MONEY ON THE WRONG FELLAH.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Oh, but you don't catch on. You mistake. Let me explain. You're backing
+the othah man. Now, I happen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span> to know about that: and I assuah you, it's
+an error. Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong
+fellah.'</p>
+
+<p>'I do not understand you,' I replied, drawing away from his approach.
+'And what is more, I may add, you could never understand me.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yaas, but I do. I understand perfectly. I can see where you go wrong.
+You drew up Marmy's will; and you think Marmy has left all he's worth to
+Harold Tillington; so you're putting every penny you've got on Harold.
+Well, that's mere moonshine. Harold may think it's all right; but it's
+not all right. There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the Probate Court.
+Listen heah, Miss Cayley: Higginson and I are a jolly sight sharpah than
+your friend Harold. Harold's what they call a clevah fellah in society,
+and I'm what they call a fool; but I know bettah than Harold which side
+of my bread's buttahed.'</p>
+
+<p>'I don't doubt it,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, I have managed this business. I don't mind telling you now, I had
+a telegram from Marmy's valet when we touched at Aden; and poor old
+Marmy's sinking. Habakkuk's been too much for him. Sixteen stone going
+under. Why am I not with him? yah may ask. Because, when a man of
+Marmy's temperament is dying, it's safah to be away from him. There's
+plenty of time for Marmy to altah his will yet&mdash;and there are othah
+contingencies. Still, Harold's quite out of it. You take my word for it;
+if you back Harold, you back a man who's not going to get anything;
+while if you back me, you back the winnah, with a coronet into the
+bargain.' And he smiled fatuously.</p>
+
+<p>I looked at him with a look that would have made a wiser man wince. But
+it fell flat on Lord Southminster. 'Do you know why I do not rise and go
+down to my cabin<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> at once?' I said, slowly. 'Because, if I did, somebody
+as I passed might see my burning cheeks&mdash;cheeks flushed with shame at
+your insulting proposal&mdash;and might guess that you had asked me, and that
+I had refused you. And I should shrink from the disgrace of anyone's
+knowing that you had put such a humiliation upon me. You have been frank
+with me&mdash;after your kind, Lord Southminster; frank with the frankness of
+a low and purely commercial nature. I will be frank with you in turn.
+You are right in supposing that I love Harold Tillington&mdash;a man whose
+name I hate to mention in your presence. But you are wrong in supposing
+that the disposition of Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money has or can have
+anything to do with the feelings I entertain towards him. I would marry
+him all the sooner if he were poor and penniless. You cannot
+<i>understand</i> that state of mind, of course: but you must be content to
+<i>accept</i> it. And I would not marry <i>you</i> if there were no other man left
+in the world to marry. I should as soon think of marrying a lump of
+dough.' I faced him all crimson. 'Is <i>that</i> plain enough? Do you see now
+that I really mean it?'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at me with a curious look, and twirled what he considered his
+moustache once more, quite airily. The man was imperturbable&mdash;a
+pachydermatous imbecile. 'You're all wrong, yah know,' he said, after a
+long pause, during which he had regarded me through his eye-glass as if
+I were a specimen of some rare new species. 'You're all wrong, and yah
+won't believe me. But I tell yah, I know what I'm talking about. You
+think it's quite safe about Marmy's money&mdash;that he's left it to Harold,
+because you drew the will up. I assuah you that will's not worth the
+paper it's written on. You fancy Harold's a hot favourite: he's a rank
+outsidah. I give you a chance, and you won't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> take it. I want yah
+because you're a remarkable woman. Most of the Ethels cry when they're
+trying to make a fellah propose to 'em; and I don't like 'em damp: but
+<i>you</i> have some go about yah. You insist upon backing the wrong man. But
+you'll find your mistake out yet.' A bright idea struck him. 'I say&mdash;why
+don't you hedge? Leave it open till Marmy's gone, and then marry the
+winnah?'</p>
+
+<p>It was hopeless trying to make this clod understand. His brain was not
+built with the right cells for understanding me. 'Lord Southminster,' I
+said, turning upon him and clasping my hands, 'I will not go away while
+you stop here. But you have some spark enough of a gentleman in your
+composition, I hope, not to inflict your company any longer upon a woman
+who does not desire it. I ask you to leave me here alone. When you have
+gone, and I have had time to recover from your degrading offer, I may
+perhaps feel able to go down to my cabin.'</p>
+
+<p>He stared at me with open blue eyes&mdash;those watery blue eyes. 'Oh, just
+as you like,' he answered. 'I wanted to do you a good turn, because
+you're the only woman I evah really admiahed&mdash;to say admiah, don't you
+know; not trotted round like the Ethels: but you won't allow me. I'll go
+if you wish it; though I tell you again, you're backing the wrong man,
+and soonah or latah you'll discover it. I don't mind laying you six to
+four against him. Howevah, I'll do one thing for yah: I'll leave this
+offah always open. I'm not likely to marry any othah woman&mdash;not good
+enough, is it?&mdash;and if evah you find out you're mistaken about Harold
+Tillington, remembah, honour bright, I shall be ready at any time to
+renew my offah.'</p>
+
+<p>By this time I was at boiling-point. I could not find words to answer
+him. I waved him away angrily with one hand. He raised his hat with
+quite a jaunty air and strolled<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> off forward, puffing his cigarette. I
+don't think he even knew the disgust with which he inspired me.</p>
+
+<p>I sat some hours with the cool air playing about my burning cheeks
+before I mustered up courage to rise and go down below again.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURES OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH</h3>
+
+<p>Our arrival at Bombay was a triumphal entry. We were received like
+royalty. Indeed, to tell you the truth, Elsie and I were beginning to
+get just a leetle bit spoiled. It struck us now that our casual
+connection with the Ashurst family in its various branches had succeeded
+in saddling us, like the Lady of Burleigh, 'with the burden of an honour
+unto which we were not born.' We were everywhere treated as persons of
+importance; and, oh dear, by dint of such treatment we began to feel at
+last almost as if we had been raised in the purple. I felt that when we
+got back to England we should turn up our noses at plain bread and
+butter.</p>
+
+<p>Yes, life has been kind to me. Have your researches into English
+literature ever chanced to lead you into reading Horace Walpole, I
+wonder? That polite trifler is fond of a word which he coined
+himself&mdash;'Serendipity.' It derives from the name of a certain happy
+Indian Prince Serendip, whom he unearthed (or invented) in some obscure
+Oriental story; a prince for whom the fairies or the genii always
+managed to make everything pleasant. It implies the faculty, which a few
+of us possess, of finding whatever we want turn up accidentally at the
+exact right moment. Well, I believe I must have been born with
+serendipity in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> my mouth, in place of the proverbial silver spoon, for
+wherever I go, all things seem to come out exactly right for me.</p>
+
+<p>The <i>Jumna</i>, for example, had hardly heaved to in Bombay Harbour when we
+noticed on the quay a very distinguished-looking Oriental potentate, in
+a large, white turban with a particularly big diamond stuck
+ostentatiously in its front. He stalked on board with a martial air, as
+soon as we stopped, and made inquiries from our captain after someone he
+expected. The captain received him with that odd mixture of respect for
+rank and wealth, combined with true British contempt for the inferior
+black man, which is universal among his class in their dealings with
+native Indian nobility. The Oriental potentate, however, who was
+accompanied by a gorgeous suite like that of the Wise Men in Italian
+pictures, seemed satisfied with his information, and moved over with his
+stately glide in our direction. Elsie and I were standing near the
+gangway among our rugs and bundles, in the hopeless helplessness of
+disembarkation. He approached us respectfully, and, bowing with extended
+hands and a deferential air, asked, in excellent English, 'May I venture
+to inquire which of you two ladies is Miss Lois Cayley?'</p>
+
+<p>'<i>I</i> am,' I replied, my breath taken away by this unexpected greeting.
+'May I venture to inquire in return how you came to know I was arriving
+by this steamer?'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_056" id="ILL_056"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_056.jpg" width="600" height="403" alt="I AM THE MAHARAJAH OF MOOZUFFERNUGGAR." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I AM THE MAHARAJAH OF MOOZUFFERNUGGAR.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He held out his hand, with a courteous inclination. 'I am the Maharajah
+of Moozuffernuggar,' he answered in an impressive tone, as if everybody
+knew of the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar as familiarly as they knew of
+the Duke of Cambridge. 'Moozuffernuggar in Rajputana&mdash;<i>not</i> the one in
+the Doab. You must have heard my name from Mr. Harold Tillington.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I had not; but I dissembled, so as to salve his pride. 'Mr. Tillington's
+friends are <i>our</i> friends,' I answered, sententiously.</p>
+
+<p>'And Mr. Tillington's friends are <i>my</i> friends,' the Maharajah retorted,
+with a low bow to Elsie. 'This is no doubt, Miss Petheridge. I have
+heard of your expected arrival, as you will guess, from Tillington. He
+and I were at Oxford together; I am a Merton man. It was Tillington who
+first taught me all I know of cricket. He took me to stop at his
+father's place in Dumfriesshire. I owe much to his friendship; and when
+he wrote me that friends of his were arriving by the <i>Jumna</i>, why, I
+made haste to run down to Bombay to greet them.'</p>
+
+<p>The episode was one of those topsy-turvy mixtures of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span> all places and
+ages which only this jumbled century of ours has witnessed; it impressed
+me deeply. Here was this Indian prince, a feudal Rajput chief, living
+practically among his vassals in the Middle Ages when at home in India;
+yet he said 'I am a Merton man,' as Harold himself might have said it;
+and he talked about cricket as naturally as Lord Southminster talked
+about the noble quadruped. The oddest part of it all was, we alone felt
+the incongruity; to the Maharajah, the change from Moozuffernuggar to
+Oxford and from Oxford back again to Moozuffernuggar seemed perfectly
+natural. They were but two alternative phases in a modern Indian
+gentleman's education and experience.</p>
+
+<p>Still, what were we to do with him? If Harold had presented me with a
+white elephant I could hardly have been more embarrassed than I was at
+the apparition of this urbane and magnificent Hindoo prince. He was
+young; he was handsome; he was slim, for a rajah; he wore European
+costume, save for the huge white turban with its obtrusive diamond; and
+he spoke English much better than a great many Englishmen. Yet what
+place could he fill in my life and Elsie's? For once, I felt almost
+angry with Harold. Why couldn't he have allowed us to go quietly through
+India, two simple unofficial journalistic pilgrims, in our native
+obscurity?</p>
+
+<p>His Highness of Moozuffernuggar, however, had his own views on this
+question. With a courteous wave of one dusky hand, he motioned us
+gracefully into somebody else's deck chairs, and then sat down on
+another beside us, while the gorgeous suite stood by in respectful
+silence&mdash;unctuous gentlemen in pink-and-gold brocade&mdash;forming a court
+all round us. Elsie and I, unaccustomed to be so observed, grew
+conscious of our hands, our skirts, our postures. But the Maharajah
+posed himself with perfect unconcern, like<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span> one well used to the fierce
+light of royalty. 'I have come,' he said, with simple dignity, 'to
+superintend the preparations for your reception.'</p>
+
+<p>'Gracious heavens!' I exclaimed. 'Our reception, Maharajah? I think you
+misunderstand. We are two ordinary English ladies of the proletariat,
+accustomed to the level plain of professional society. We expect no
+reception.'</p>
+
+<p>He bowed again, with stately Eastern deference. 'Friends of
+Tillington's,' he said, shortly, 'are persons of distinction. Besides, I
+have heard of you from Lady Georgina Fawley.'</p>
+
+<p>'Lady Georgina is too good,' I answered, though inwardly I raged against
+her. Why couldn't she leave us alone, to feed in peace on dak-bungalow
+chicken, instead of sending this regal-mannered heathen to bother us?</p>
+
+<p>'So I have come down to Bombay to make sure that you are met in the
+style that befits your importance in society,' he went on, waving his
+suite away with one careless hand, for he saw it fussed us. 'I mentioned
+you to His Honour the Acting-Governor, who had not heard you were
+coming. His Honour's aide-de-camp will follow shortly with an invitation
+to Government House while you remain in Bombay&mdash;which will not be many
+days, I don't doubt, for there is nothing in this city of plague to stop
+for. Later on, during your progress up country, I do myself the honour
+to hope that you will stay as my guests for as long as you choose at
+Moozuffernuggar.'</p>
+
+<p>My first impulse was to answer: 'Impossible, Maharajah; we couldn't
+dream of accepting your kind invitation.' But on second thoughts, I
+remembered my duty to my proprietor. Journalism first: inclination
+afterwards! My letter from Egypt on the rescue of the Englishwoman who
+escaped from Khartoum had brought me great <i>&eacute;clat</i> as a special
+correspondent, and the <i>Daily Telephone</i> now billed my name<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span> in big
+letters on its placards, so Mr. Elworthy wrote me. Here was another
+noble chance; must I not strive to rise to it? Two English ladies at a
+native court in Rajputana! that ought to afford scope for some rattling
+journalism!</p>
+
+<p>'It is extremely kind of you,' I said, hesitating, 'and it would give us
+great pleasure, were it feasible, to accept your friendly offer.
+But&mdash;English ideas, you know, prince! Two unprotected women! I hardly
+see how we could come alone to Moozuffernuggar, unchaperoned.'</p>
+
+<p>The Maharajah's face lighted up; he was evidently flattered that we
+should even thus dubiously entertain his proposal. 'Oh, I've thought
+about that, too,' he answered, growing more colloquial in tone. 'I've
+been some days in Bombay, making inquiries and preparations. You see,
+you had not informed the authorities of your intended visit, so that you
+were travelling <i>incognito</i>&mdash;or should it be <i>incognita</i>?&mdash;and if
+Tillington hadn't written to let me know your movements, you might have
+arrived at this port without anybody's knowing it, and have been
+compelled to take refuge in an hotel on landing.' He spoke as if we had
+been accustomed all our lives long to be received with red cloth by the
+Mayor and Corporation, and presented with illuminated addresses and the
+freedom of the city in a gold snuff-box. 'But I have seen to all that.
+The Acting-Governor's aide-de-camp will be down before long, and I have
+arranged that if you consent a little later to honour my humble roof in
+Rajputana with your august presence, Major Balmossie and his wife will
+accompany you and chaperon you. I have lived in England: of course I
+understand that two English ladies of your rank and position cannot
+travel alone&mdash;as if you were Americans. But Mrs. Balmossie is a nice
+little soul, of unblemished character'&mdash;that sweet touch charmed
+me&mdash;'received at Government House'&mdash;he had learned the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span> respect due to
+Mrs. Grundy&mdash;'so that if you will accept my invitation, you may rest
+assured that everything will be done with the utmost regard to the&mdash;the
+unaccountable prejudices of Europeans.'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 389px;"><a name="ILL_057" id="ILL_057"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_057.jpg" width="389" height="500" alt="WHO&#39;S YOUR BLACK FRIEND?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">WHO&#39;S YOUR BLACK FRIEND?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>His thoughtfulness took me aback. I thanked him warmly. He unbent at my
+thanks. 'And I am obliged to you in return,' he said. 'It gives me real
+pleasure to be able, through you, to repay Harold Tillington part of the
+debt I owe him. He was so good to me at Oxford. Miss Cayley, you are new
+to India, and therefore&mdash;as yet&mdash;no doubt unprejudiced. You treat a
+native gentleman, I see, like a human being. I hope you will not stop
+long enough in our country to get over that stage&mdash;as happens to most of
+your countrymen and countrywomen. In England, a man like myself is an
+Indian prince; in India, to ninety-nine out of a hundred Europeans, he
+is just "a damned nigger."'</p>
+
+<p>I smiled sympathetically. 'I think,' I said, venturing under these
+circumstances on a harmless little swear-word&mdash;of course, in quotation
+marks&mdash;'you may trust me never to reach "damn-nigger" point.'</p>
+
+<p>'So I believe,' he answered, 'if you are a friend of Harold
+Tillington's. Ebony or ivory, he never forgot we were two men together.'</p>
+
+<p>Five minutes later, when the Maharajah had gone to inquire about our
+luggage, Lord Southminster strolled up. 'Oh, I say, Miss Cayley,' he
+burst out, 'I'm off now; ta-ta: but remembah, that offah's always open.
+By the way, who's your black friend? I couldn't help laughing at the
+airs the fellah gave himself. To see a niggah sitting theah, with his
+suite all round him, waving his hands and sunning his rings, and
+behaving for all the world as if he were a gentleman; it's reahly too
+ridiculous. Harold Tillington picked up with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span> a fellah like that at
+Oxford&mdash;doosid good cricketer too; wondah if this is the same one?'</p>
+
+<p>'Good-bye, Lord Southminster,' I said, quietly, with a stiff little bow.
+'Remember, on your side, that your "offer" was rejected once for all
+last night. Yes, the Indian prince <i>is</i> Harold Tillington's friend, the
+Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar&mdash;whose ancestors were princes while ours
+were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span> dressed in woad and oak-leaves. But you were right about one
+thing; <i>he</i> behaves&mdash;like a gentleman.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I say,' the pea-green young man ejaculated, drawing back; 'that's
+anothah in the eye for me. You're a good 'un at facers. You gave me one
+for a welcome, and you give me one now for a parting shot. Nevah mind
+though, I can wait; you're backing the wrong fellah&mdash;but you're not the
+Ethels, and you're well worth waiting for.' He waved his hand. 'So-long!
+See yah again in London.'</p>
+
+<p>And he retired, with that fatuous smile still absorbing his features.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+
+<p>Our three days in Bombay were uneventful; we merely waited to get rid of
+the roll of the ship, which continued to haunt us for hours after we
+landed&mdash;the floor of our bedrooms having acquired an ugly trick of
+rising in long undulations, as if Bombay were suffering from chronic
+earthquake. We made the acquaintance of His Honour the Acting Governor,
+and His Honour's consort. We were also introduced to Mrs. Balmossie, the
+lady who was to chaperon us to Moozuffernuggar. Her husband was a
+soldierly Scotchman from Forfarshire, but she herself was English&mdash;a
+flighty little body with a perpetual giggle. She giggled so much over
+the idea of the Maharajah's inviting us to his palace that I wondered
+why on earth she accepted his invitation. At this she seemed surprised.
+'Why, it's one of the jolliest places in Rajputana,' she answered, with
+a bland Simla smile; '<i>so</i> picturesque&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;and <i>so</i> delightful.
+Simpkin flows like water&mdash; Simpkin's baboo English for champagne, you
+know&mdash;he, he, he; and though of course the Maharajah's only a native
+like the rest of them&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;still, he's been educated at Oxford,
+and has<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span> mixed with Europeans, and he knows how to make one&mdash;he, he,
+he&mdash;well, thoroughly comfortable.'</p>
+
+<p>'But what shall we eat?' I asked. 'Rice, ghee, and chupatties?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh dear no&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;Europe food, every bit of it. Foie gras, and
+York ham, and wine <i>ad lib</i>. His hospitality's massive. If it weren't
+for that, of course, one wouldn't dream of going there. But Archie hopes
+some day to be made Resident, don't you know; and it will do him no
+harm&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;with the Foreign Office, to have cultivated friendly
+relations beforehand with His Highness of Moozuffernuggar. These
+natives&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;so absurdly sensitive!'</p>
+
+<p>For myself, the Maharajah interested me, and I rather liked him.
+Besides, he was Harold's friend, and that was in itself sufficient
+recommendation. So I determined to push straight into the heart of
+native India first, and only afterwards to do the regulation tourist
+round of Agra and Delhi, the Taj and the mosques, Benares and Allahabad,
+leaving the English and Calcutta for the tail-end of my journey. It was
+better journalism; as I thought that thought, I began to fear that Mr.
+Elworthy was right after all, and that I was a born journalist.</p>
+
+<p>On the day fixed for our leaving Bombay, whom should I meet but Lord
+Southminster&mdash;with the Maharajah&mdash;at the railway station!</p>
+
+<p>He lounged up to me with that eternal smile still vaguely pervading his
+empty features. 'Well, we shall have a jolly party, I gathah,' he said.
+'They tell me this niggah is famous for his tigahs.'</p>
+
+<p>I gazed at him, positively taken aback. 'You don't mean to tell me,' I
+cried, 'you actually propose to accept the Maharajah's hospitality?'</p>
+
+<p>His smile absorbed him. 'Yaas,' he answered twirling<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span> his yellow
+moustache, and gazing across at the unconscious prince, who was engaged
+in overlooking the arrangements for our saloon carriage. 'The black
+fellah discovahed I was a cousin of Harold's, so he came to call upon me
+at the club, of which some Johnnies heah made me an honorary membah.
+He's offahed me the run of his place while I'm in Indiah, and, of
+course, I've accepted. Eccentric sort of chap; can't make him out
+myself: says anyone connected with Harold Tillington is always deah to
+him. Rum start, isn't it?'</p>
+
+<p>'He is a mere Oriental,' I answered, 'unused to the ways of civilised
+life. He cherishes the superannuated virtue of gratitude.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yaas; no doubt&mdash;so I'm coming along with you.'</p>
+
+<p>I drew back, horrified. 'Now? While I am there? After what I told you
+last week on the steamer?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, that's all right. I bear yah no malice. If I want any fun, of
+course I must go while <i>you're</i> at Moozuffernuggar.'</p>
+
+<p>'Why so?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yah see, this black boundah means to get up some big things at his
+place in your honah; and one naturally goes to stop with anyone who has
+big things to offah. Hang it all, what does it mattah who a fellah is if
+he can give yah good shooting? It's shooting, don't yah know, that keeps
+society in England togethah!'</p>
+
+<p>'And therefore you propose to stop in the same house with me!' I
+exclaimed, 'in spite of what I have told you! Well, Lord Southminster, I
+should have thought there were limits which even <i>your</i> taste&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>He cut me short with an inane grin. 'There you make your blooming little
+erraw,' he answered, airily. 'I told yah, I keep my offah still open;
+and, hang it all, I don't mean to lose sight of yah in a hurry. Some
+other fellah might come along and pick you up when I wasn't looking; and
+I don't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span> want to miss yah. In point of fact, I don't mind telling yah, I
+back myself still for a couple of thou' soonah or latah to marry yah.
+It's dogged as does it; faint heart, they say, nevah won fair lady!'</p>
+
+<p>If it had not been that I could not bear to disappoint my Indian prince,
+I think, when I heard this, I should have turned back then and there at
+the station.</p>
+
+<p>The journey up country was uneventful, but dusty. The Mofussil appears
+to consist mainly of dust; indeed, I can now recall nothing of it but
+one pervading white cloud, which has blotted from my memory all its
+other components. The dust clung to my hair after many washings, and was
+never really beaten out of my travelling clothes; I believe part of it
+thus went round the world with me to England. When at last we reached
+Moozuffernuggar, after two days' and a night's hard travelling, we were
+met by a crowd of local grandees, who looked as if they had spent the
+greater part of their lives in brushing back their whiskers, and we
+drove up at once, in European carriages, to the Maharajah's palace. The
+look of it astonished me. It was a strange and rambling old Hindoo
+hill-fort, high perched on a scarped crag, like Edinburgh Castle, and
+accessible only on one side, up a gigantic staircase, guarded on either
+hand by huge sculptured elephants cut in the living sandstone. Below
+clustered the town, an intricate mass of tangled alleys. I had never
+seen anything so picturesque or so dirty in my life; as for Elsie, she
+was divided between admiration for its beauty and terror at the
+big-whiskered and white-turbaned attendants.</p>
+
+<p>'What sort of rooms shall we have?' I whispered to our moral guarantee,
+Mrs. Balmossie.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, beautiful, dear,' the little lady smirked back. 'Furnished
+throughout&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;by Liberty. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> Maharajah wants to do honour to
+his European guests&mdash;he, he, he&mdash;he fancies, poor man, he's quite
+European. That's what comes of sending these creatures to Oxford! So
+he's had suites of rooms furnished for any white visitors who may chance
+to come his way. Ridiculous, isn't it? <i>And</i> champagne&mdash;oh, gallons of
+it! He's quite proud of his rooms, he, he, he&mdash;he's always asking people
+to come and occupy them; he thinks he's done them up in the best style
+of decoration.'</p>
+
+<p>He had reason, for they were as tasteful as they were dainty and
+comfortable. And I could not for the life of me make out why his
+hospitable inclination should be voted 'ridiculous.' But Mrs. Balmossie
+appeared to find all natives alike a huge joke together. She never even
+spoke of them without a condescending smile of distant compassion.
+Indeed, most Anglo-Indians seem first to do their best to Anglicise the
+Hindoo, and then to laugh at him for aping the Englishman.</p>
+
+<p>After we had been three days at the palace and had spent hours in the
+wonderful temples and ruins, the Maharajah announced with considerable
+pride at breakfast one morning that he had got up a tiger-hunt in our
+special honour.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Southminster rubbed his hands.</p>
+
+<p>'Ha, that's right, Maharaj,' he said, briskly. 'I do love big game. To
+tell yah the truth, old man, that's just what I came heah for.'</p>
+
+<p>'You do me too much honour,' the Hindoo answered, with quiet sarcasm.
+'My town and palace may have little to offer that is worth your
+attention; but I am glad that my big game, at least, has been lucky
+enough to attract you.'</p>
+
+<p>The remark was thrown away on the pea-green young man. He had described
+his host to me as 'a black boundah.' Out of his own mouth I condemned
+him&mdash;he supplied the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span> very word&mdash;he was himself nothing more than a born
+bounder.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_058" id="ILL_058"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_058.jpg" width="600" height="387" alt="A TIGER-HUNT IS NOT A THING TO BE GOT UP LIGHTLY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">A TIGER-HUNT IS NOT A THING TO BE GOT UP LIGHTLY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>During the next few days, the preparations for the tiger-hunt occupied
+all the Maharajah's energies. 'You know, Miss Cayley,' he said to me, as
+we stood upon the big stairs, looking down on the Hindoo city, 'a
+tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly. Our people themselves
+don't like killing a tiger. They reverence it too much. They're afraid
+its spirit might haunt them afterwards and bring them bad luck. That's
+one of our superstitions.'</p>
+
+<p>'You do not share it yourself, then?' I asked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He drew himself up and opened his palms, with a twinkling of pendant
+emeralds. 'I am royal,' he answered, with na&iuml;ve dignity, 'and the tiger
+is a royal beast. Kings know the ways of kings. If a king kills what is
+kingly, it owes him no grudge for it. But if a common man or a low caste
+man were to kill a tiger&mdash;who can say what might happen?'</p>
+
+<p>I saw he was not himself quite free from the superstition.</p>
+
+<p>'Our peasants,' he went on, fixing me with his great black eyes, 'won't
+even mention the tiger by name, for fear of offending him: they believe
+him to be the dwelling-place of a powerful spirit. If they wish to speak
+of him, they say, "the great beast," or "my lord, the striped one." Some
+think the spirit is immortal except at the hands of a king. But they
+have no objection to see him destroyed by others. They will even point
+out his whereabouts, and rejoice over his death; for it relieves the
+village of a serious enemy, and they believe the spirit will only haunt
+the huts of those who actually kill him.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you know where each tiger lives?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'As well as your gamekeepers in England know which covert may be drawn
+for foxes. Yes; 'tis a royal sport, and we keep it for Maharajahs. I
+myself never hunt a tiger till some European visitor of distinction
+comes to Moozuffernuggar, that I may show him good sport. This tiger we
+shall hunt to-morrow, for example, he is a bad old hand. He has carried
+off the buffaloes of my villagers over yonder for years and years, and
+of late he has also become a man-eater. He once ate a whole family at a
+meal&mdash;a man, his wife, and his three children. The people at Janwargurh
+have been pestering me for weeks to come and shoot him; and each week he
+has eaten somebody&mdash;a child or a woman; the last was yesterday&mdash;but I
+waited till you came, because<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span> I thought it would be something to show
+you that you would not be likely to see elsewhere.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you let the poor people go on being eaten, that we might enjoy this
+sport!' I cried.</p>
+
+<p>He shrugged his shoulders, and opened his palms. 'They were villagers,
+you know&mdash;ryots: mere tillers of the soil&mdash;poor naked peasants. I have
+thousands of them to spare. If a tiger eats ten of them, they only say,
+"It was written upon their foreheads." One woman more or less&mdash;who would
+notice her at Moozuffernuggar?'</p>
+
+<p>Then I perceived that the Maharajah was a gentleman, but still a
+barbarian.</p>
+
+<p>The eventful morning arrived at last, and we started, all agog, for the
+jungle where the tiger was known to live. Elsie excused herself. She
+remarked to me the night before, as I brushed her back hair for her,
+that she had 'half a mind' not to go. 'My dear,' I answered, giving the
+brush a good dash, 'for a higher mathematician, that phrase lacks
+accuracy. If you were to say "seven-eighths of a mind" it would be
+nearer the mark. In point of fact, if you ask my opinion, your
+inclination to go is a vanishing quantity.'</p>
+
+<p>She admitted the impeachment with an accusing blush. 'You're quite
+right, Brownie; to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of it.'</p>
+
+<p>'So am I, dear; horribly afraid. Between ourselves, I'm in a deadly funk
+of it. But "the brave man is not he that feels no fear"; and I believe
+the same principle applies almost equally to the brave woman. I mean
+"that fear to subdue" as far as I am able. The Maharajah says I shall be
+the first girl who has ever gone tiger-hunting. I'm frightened out of my
+life. I never held a gun in my born days before. But, Elsie, recollect,
+this is <i>splendid</i> journalism! I intend to go through with it.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'You offer yourself on the altar, Brownie.'</p>
+
+<p>'I do, dear; I propose to die in the cause. I expect my proprietor to
+carve on my tomb, "Sacred to the memory of the martyr of journalism. She
+was killed, in the act of taking shorthand notes, by a Bengal tiger."'</p>
+
+<p>We started at early dawn, a motley mixture. My short bicycling skirt did
+beautifully for tiger-hunting. There was a vast company of native
+swells, nawabs and ranas, in gorgeous costumes, whose precise names and
+titles I do not pretend to remember; there were also Major Balmossie,
+Lord Southminster, the Maharajah, and myself&mdash;all mounted on
+gaily-caparisoned elephants. We had likewise, on foot, a miserable crowd
+of wretched beaters, with dirty white loin-cloths. We were all very
+brave, of course&mdash;demonstratively brave&mdash;and we talked a great deal at
+the start about the exhilaration given by 'the spice of danger.' But it
+somehow struck me that the poor beaters on foot had the majority of the
+danger and extremely little of the exhilaration. Each of us great folk
+was mounted on his own elephant, which carried a light basket-work
+howdah in two compartments: the front one intended for the noble
+sportsman, the back one for a servant with extra guns and ammunition. I
+pretended to like it, but I fear I trembled visibly. Our mahouts sat on
+the elephants' necks, each armed with a pointed goad, to whose
+admonition the huge beasts answered like clock-work. A born journalist
+always pretends to know everything before hand, so I speak carelessly of
+the 'mahout,' as if he were a familiar acquaintance. But I don't mind
+telling you aside, in confidence, that I had only just learnt the word
+that morning.</p>
+
+<p>The Maharajah protested at first against my taking part in the actual
+hunt, but I think his protest was merely formal. In his heart of hearts
+I believe he was proud that the first lady tiger-hunter should have
+joined his party.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Dusty and shadeless, the road from Moozuffernuggar fares straight across
+the plain towards the crumbling mountains. Behind, in the heat mist, the
+castle and palace on their steeply-scarped crag, with the squalid town
+that clustered at their feet, reminded me once more most strangely of
+Edinburgh, where I used to spend my vacations from Girton. But the
+pitiless sun differed greatly from the gray haar of the northern
+metropolis. It warmed into intense white the little temples of the
+wayside, and beat on our heads with tropical garishness.</p>
+
+<p>I am bound to admit also that tiger-hunting is not quite all it is
+cracked up to be. In my fancy I had pictured the gallant and
+bloodthirsty beast rushing out upon us full pelt from some grass-grown
+nullah at the first sniff of our presence, and fiercely attacking both
+men and elephants. Instead of that, I will confess the whole truth:
+frightened as at least one of us was of the tiger, the tiger was still
+more desperately frightened of his human assailants. I could see clearly
+that, so far from rushing out of his own accord to attack us, his one
+desire was to be let alone. He was horribly afraid; he skulked in the
+jungle like a wary old fox in a trusty spinney. There was no nullah
+(whatever a nullah may be), there was only a waste of dusty cane-brake.
+We encircled the tall grass patch where he lurked, forming a big round
+with a ring-fence of elephants. The beaters on foot, advancing, half
+naked, with a caution with which I could fully sympathise, endeavoured
+by loud shouts and gesticulations to rouse the royal beast to a sense of
+his position. Not a bit of it: the royal beast declined to be drawn; he
+preferred retirement. The Maharajah, whose elephant was stationed next
+to mine, even apologised for the resolute cowardice with which he clung
+to his ignoble lurking-place.</p>
+
+<p>The beaters drew in: the elephants, raising their trunks<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> in air and
+sniffing suspicion, moved slowly inward. We had girt him round now with
+a perfect ring, through which he could not possibly break without
+attacking somebody. The Maharajah kept a fixed eye on my personal
+safety. But still the royal animal crouched and skulked, and still the
+black beaters shrieked, howled, and gesticulated. At last, among the
+tall perpendicular lights and shadows of the big grasses and bamboos, I
+seemed to see something move&mdash;something striped like the stems, yet
+passing slowly, slowly, slowly between them. It moved in a stealthy
+undulating line. No one could believe till he saw it how the bright
+flame-coloured bands of vivid orange-yellow on the monster's flanks, and
+the interspersed black stripes, could fade away and harmonise, in their
+native surroundings, with the lights and shades of the upright jungle.
+It was a marvel of mimicry. 'Look there!' I cried to the Maharajah,
+pointing one eager hand. 'What is that thing there, moving?'</p>
+
+<p>He stared where I pointed. 'By Jove,' he cried, raising his rifle with a
+sportsman's quickness, 'you have spotted him first! The tiger!'</p>
+
+<p>The terrified beast stole slowly and cautiously through the tall
+grasses, his lithe, silken side gliding in and out snakewise, and only
+his fierce eyes burning bright with gleaming flashes between the gloom
+of the jungle. Once I had seen him, I could follow with ease his sinuous
+path among the tangled bamboos, a waving line of beauty in perpetual
+motion. The Maharajah followed him too, with his keen eyes, and pointed
+his rifle hastily. But, quick as he was, Lord Southminster was before
+him. I had half expected to find the pea-green young man turn coward at
+the last moment; but in that I was mistaken: I will do him the justice
+to say, whatever else he was, he was a born sportsman. The gleam of joy
+in his leaden eye when he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span> caught sight of the tiger, the flush of
+excitement on his pasty face, the eagerness of his alert attitude, were
+things to see and remember. That moment almost ennobled him. In sight of
+danger, the best instincts of the savage seemed to revive within him. In
+civilised life he was a poor creature; face to face with a wild beast he
+became a mighty shikari. Perhaps that was why he was so fond of big-game
+shooting. He may have felt it raised him in the scale of being.</p>
+
+<p>He lifted his rifle and fired. He was a cool shot, and he wounded the
+beast upon its left shoulder. I could see the great crimson stream gush
+out all at once across the shapely sides, staining the flame-coloured
+stripes and reddening the black shadows. The tiger drew back, gave a
+low, fierce growl, and then crouched among the jungle. I saw he was
+going to leap; he bent his huge backbone into a strong downward curve,
+took in a deep breath, and stood at bay, glaring at us. Which elephant
+would he attack? That was what he was now debating. Next moment, with a
+frightful R'-r'-r'-r', he had straightened out his muscles, and, like a
+bolt from a bow, had launched his huge bulk forward.</p>
+
+<p>I never saw his charge. I never knew he had leapt upon me. I only felt
+my elephant rock from side to side like a ship in a storm. He was
+trumpeting, shaking, roaring with rage and pain, for the tiger was on
+his flanks, its claws buried deep in the skin of his forehead. I could
+not keep my seat; I felt myself tossed about in the frail howdah like a
+pill in a pill-box. The elephant, in a death grapple, was trying to
+shake off his ghastly enemy. For a minute or two, I was conscious of
+nothing save this swinging movement. Then, opening my eyes for a second,
+I saw the tiger, in all his terrible beauty, clinging to the elephant's
+head by the claws of his fore paws, and struggling for a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span> foothold on
+its trunk with his mighty hind legs, in a wounded agony of despair and
+vengeance. He would sell his life dear; he would have one or other of
+us.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Southminster raised his rifle again; but the Maharajah shouted
+aloud in an angry voice: 'Don't fire! Don't fire! You will kill the
+lady! You can't aim at him<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span> like that. The beast is rocking so that no
+one can say where a shot will take effect. Down with your gun, sir,
+instantly!'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 467px;"><a name="ILL_059" id="ILL_059"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_059.jpg" width="467" height="500" alt="IT WENT OFF UNEXPECTEDLY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">IT WENT OFF UNEXPECTEDLY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>My mahout, unable to keep his seat with the rocking, now dropped off his
+cushion among the scrub below. He could speak a few words of English.
+'Shoot, Mem Sahib, shoot!' he cried, flinging his hands up. But I was
+tossed to and fro, from side to side, with my rifle under my arm. It was
+impossible to aim. Yet in sheer terror I tried to draw the trigger. I
+failed; but somehow I caught my rifle against the side of my cage.
+Something snapped in it somewhere. It went off unexpectedly, without my
+aiming or firing. I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw a
+swimming picture of the great sullen beast, loosing his hold on the
+elephant. I saw his brindled face; I saw his white tusks. But his
+gleaming pupils burned bright no longer. His jaw was full towards me: I
+had shot him between the eyes. He fell, slowly, with blood streaming
+from his nostrils, and his tongue lolling out. His muscles relaxed; his
+huge limbs grew limp. In a minute, he lay stretched at full length on
+the ground, with his head on one side, a grand, terrible picture.</p>
+
+<p>My mahout flung up his hands in wonder and amazement. 'My father!' he
+cried aloud. 'Truly, the Mem Sahib is a great shikari!'</p>
+
+<p>The Maharajah stretched across to me. 'That was a wonderful shot!' he
+exclaimed. 'I could never have believed a woman could show such nerve
+and coolness.'</p>
+
+<p>Nerve and coolness, indeed! I was trembling all over like an Italian
+greyhound, every limb a jelly; and I had not even fired: the rifle went
+off of itself without me. I am innocent of having ever endangered the
+life of a haycock. But once more I dissembled. 'Yes, it <i>was</i> a
+difficult shot,'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span> I said jauntily, as if I rather liked tiger-hunting.
+'I didn't think I'd hit him.' Still the effect of my speech was somewhat
+marred, I fear, by the tears that in spite of me rolled down my cheek
+silently.</p>
+
+<p>''Pon honah, I nevah saw a finah piece of shooting in my life,' Lord
+Southminster drawled out. Then he added aside, in an undertone, 'Makes a
+fellow moah determined to annex her than evah!'</p>
+
+<p>I sat in my howdah, half dazed. I hardly heard what they were saying. My
+heart danced like the elephant. Then it stood still within me. I was
+only aware of a feeling of faintness. Luckily for my reputation as a
+mighty sportswoman, however, I just managed to keep up, and did not
+actually faint, as I was more than half inclined to do.</p>
+
+<p>Next followed the native p&aelig;an. The beaters crowded round the fallen
+beast in a chorus of congratulation. Many of the villagers also ran out,
+with prayers and ejaculations, to swell our triumph. It was all like a
+dream. They hustled round me and salaamed to me. A woman had shot him!
+Wonderful! A babel of voices resounded in my ears. I was aware that pure
+accident had elevated me into a heroine.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 299px;"><a name="ILL_060" id="ILL_060"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_060.jpg" width="299" height="500" alt="I SAW HIM NOW THE ORIENTAL DESPOT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I SAW HIM NOW THE ORIENTAL DESPOT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Put the beast on a pad elephant,' the Maharajah called out.</p>
+
+<p>The beaters tied ropes round his body and raised him with difficulty.</p>
+
+<p>The Maharajah's face grew stern. 'Where are the whiskers?' he asked,
+fiercely, in his own tongue, which Major Balmossie interpreted for me.</p>
+
+<p>The beaters and the villagers, bowing low and expanding their hands,
+made profuse expressions of ignorance and innocence. But the fact was
+patent&mdash;the grand face had been mangled. While they had crowded in a
+dense group<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span> round the fallen carcass, somebody had cut off the lips and
+whiskers and secreted them.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'They have ruined the skin!' the Maharajah cried out in angry tones. 'I
+intended it for the lady. I shall have them all searched, and the man
+who has done this thing&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>He broke off, and looked around him. His silence was more terrible by
+far than the fiercest threat. I saw him now the Oriental despot. All the
+natives drew back, awe-struck.</p>
+
+<p>'The voice of a king is the voice of a great god,' my mahout murmured,
+in a solemn whisper. Then nobody else said anything.</p>
+
+<p>'Why do they want the whiskers?' I asked, just to set things straight
+again. 'They seem to have been in a precious hurry to take them!'</p>
+
+<p>The Maharajah's brow cleared. He turned to me once more with his
+European manner. 'A tiger's body has wonderful power after his death,'
+he answered. 'His fangs and his claws are very potent charms. His heart
+gives courage. Whoever eats of it will never know fear. His liver
+preserves against death and pestilence. But the highest virtue of all
+exists in his whiskers. They are mighty talismans. Chopped up in food,
+they act as a slow poison, which no doctor can detect, no antidote guard
+against. They are also a sovereign remedy against magic or the evil eye.
+And administered to women, they make an irresistible philtre, a puissant
+love-potion. They secure you the heart of whoever drinks them.'</p>
+
+<p>'I'd give a couple of monkeys for those whiskahs,' Lord Southminster
+murmured, half unnoticed.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_061" id="ILL_061"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_061.jpg" width="500" height="461" alt="IT&#39;S I WHO AM THE WINNAH." title="" />
+<span class="caption">IT&#39;S I WHO AM THE WINNAH.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We began to move again. 'We'll go on to where we know there is another
+tiger,' the Maharajah said, lightly, as if tigers were partridges. 'Miss
+Cayley, you will come with us?'</p>
+
+<p>I rested on my laurels. (I was quivering still from head to foot.) 'No,
+thank you, Maharajah,' as unconcernedly as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span> I could; 'I've had quite
+enough sport for my first day's tiger-hunting. I think I'll go back now,
+and write a newspaper account of this little adventure.'</p>
+
+<p>'You have had luck,' he put in. 'Not everyone kills a tiger his first
+day out. This will make good reading.'</p>
+
+<p>'I wouldn't have missed it for a hundred pounds,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Then try another.'</p>
+
+<p>'I wouldn't try another for a thousand,' I cried, fervently. That
+evening, at the palace, I was the heroine of the day. They toasted me in
+a bumper of Heidsieck's dry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> monopole. The men made speeches. Everybody
+talked gushingly of my splendid courage and my steadiness of hand. It
+was a brilliant shot, under such difficult circumstances. For myself, I
+said nothing. I pretended to look modest. I dared not confess the
+truth&mdash;that I never fired at all. And from that day to this I have never
+confessed it, till I write it down now in these confiding memoirs.</p>
+
+<p>One episode cast a gloom over my ill-deserved triumph. In the course of
+the evening, a telegram arrived for the pea-green young man by a
+white-turbaned messenger. He read it, and crumpled it up carelessly in
+his hand. I looked inquiry. 'Yaas,' he answered, nodding. 'You're quite
+right. It's that! Pooah old Marmy has gone, aftah all! Ezekiel and
+Habakkuk have carried off his sixteen stone at last! And I don't mind
+telling yah now&mdash;though it was a neah thing&mdash;it's <i>I</i> who am the
+winnah!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE CROSS-EYED Q.C.</h3>
+
+<p>The 'cold weather,' as it is humorously called, was now drawing to a
+close, and the young ladies in sailor hats and cambric blouses, who
+flock to India each autumn for the annual marriage-market, were
+beginning to resign themselves to a return to England&mdash;unless, of
+course, they had succeeded in 'catching.' So I realised that I must
+hurry on to Delhi and Agra, if I was not to be intercepted by the
+intolerable summer.</p>
+
+<p>When we started from Moozuffernuggar for Delhi and the East, Lord
+Southminster was starting for Bombay and Europe. This surprised me not a
+little, for he had confided to my unsympathetic ear a few nights
+earlier, in the Maharajah's billiard-room, that he was 'stony broke,'
+and must wait at Moozuffernuggar for lack of funds 'till the oof-bird
+laid' at his banker's in England. His conversation enlarged my
+vocabulary, at any rate.</p>
+
+<p>'So you've managed to get away?' I exclaimed, as he dawdled up to me at
+the hot and dusty station.</p>
+
+<p>'Yaas,' he drawled, fixing his eye-glass, and lighting a cigarette.
+'I've&mdash;p'f&mdash;managed to get away. Maharaj seems to have thought&mdash;p'f&mdash;it
+would be cheepah in the end to pay me out than to keep me.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'You don't mean to say he offered to lend you money?' I cried.</p>
+
+<p>'No; not exactly that: <i>I</i> offahed to borrow it.'</p>
+
+<p>'From the man you call a nigger?'</p>
+
+<p>His smile spread broader over his face than ever. 'Well, we borrow from
+the Jews, yah know,' he said pleasantly, 'so why the jooce shouldn't we
+borrow from the heathen also? Spoiling the Egyptians, don't yah
+see?&mdash;the same as we used to read about in the Scripchah when we were
+innocent kiddies. Like marriage, quite. You borrow in haste&mdash;and repay
+at leisure.'</p>
+
+<p>He strolled off and took his seat. I was glad to get rid of him at the
+main line junction.</p>
+
+<p>In accordance with my usual merciful custom, I spare you the details of
+our visit to Agra, Muttra, Benares. At Calcutta, Elsie left me. Her
+health was now quite restored, dear little soul&mdash; I felt I had done that
+one good thing in life if no other&mdash;and she could no longer withstand
+the higher mathematics, which were beckoning her to London with
+invisible fingers. For myself, having so far accomplished my original
+design of going round the world with twopence in my pocket, I could not
+bear to draw back at half the circuit; and Mr. Elworthy having willingly
+consented to my return by Singapore and Yokohama, I set out alone on my
+homeward journey.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 262px;"><a name="ILL_062" id="ILL_062"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_062.jpg" width="262" height="500" alt="HE WROTE, I EXPECT YOU TO COME BACK TO ENGLAND AND MARRY ME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE WROTE, I EXPECT YOU TO COME BACK TO ENGLAND AND MARRY ME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Harold wrote me from London that all was going well. He had found the
+will which I drew up at Florence in his uncle's escritoire, and
+everything was left to him; but he trusted, in spite of this untoward
+circumstance, long absence might have altered my determination. 'Dear
+Lois,' he wrote, 'I <i>expect</i> you to come back to England and marry me!'</p>
+
+<p>I was brief, but categorical. Nothing, meanwhile, had altered my
+resolve. I did not wish to be considered mercenary.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> While he was rich
+and honoured, I could never take him. If, some day, fortune
+frowned&mdash;but, there&mdash;let us not forestall the feet of calamity: let us
+await contingencies.</p>
+
+<p>Still, I was heavy in heart. If only it had been otherwise! To say the
+truth, I should be thrown away on a millionaire; but just think what a
+splendid managing wife a girl like me would have made for a penniless
+pauper!</p>
+
+<p>At Yokohama, however, while I dawdled in curiosity shops, a telegram
+from Harold startled me into seriousness. My chance at last! I knew what
+it meant; that villain Higginson!</p>
+
+<p>'Come home at once. I want your evidence to clear my character.
+Southminster opposes the will as a forgery. He has a strong case; the
+experts are with him.'</p>
+
+<p>Forgery! That was clever. I never thought of that. I suspected them of
+trying to forge a will of their own; but to upset the real one&mdash;to throw
+the burden of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span> suspicion on Harold's shoulders&mdash;how much subtler and
+craftier!</p>
+
+<p>I saw at a glance it gave them every advantage. In the first place, it
+put Harold virtually in the place of the accused, and compelled him to
+defend instead of attacking&mdash;an attitude which prejudices people against
+one from the outset. Then, again, it implied positive criminality on his
+part, and so allowed Lord Southminster to assume the air of injured
+innocence. The eldest son of the eldest brother, unjustly set aside by
+the scheming machinations of an unscrupulous cousin! Primogeniture, the
+ingrained English love for keeping up the dignity of a noble family, the
+prejudice in favour of the direct male line as against the female&mdash;all
+were astutely utilised in Lord Southminster's interest. But worst of
+all, it was <i>I</i> who had typewritten the will&mdash;I, a friend of Harold's, a
+woman whom Lord Southminster would doubtless try to exhibit as his
+<i>fianc&eacute;e</i>. I saw at once how much like conspiracy it looked: Harold and
+I had agreed together to concoct a false document, and Harold had forged
+his uncle's signature to it. Could a British jury doubt when a Lord
+declared it?</p>
+
+<p>Fortunately, I was just in time to catch the Canadian steamer from Japan
+to Vancouver. But, oh, the endless breadth of that broad Pacific! How
+time seemed to lag, as each day one rose in the morning, in the midst of
+space; blue sky overhead; behind one, the hard horizon; in front of one,
+the hard horizon; and nothing else visible: then steamed on all day, to
+arrive at night, where?&mdash;why, in the midst of space; starry sky
+overhead; behind one, the dim horizon; in front of one, the dim horizon;
+and nothing else visible. The Nile was child's play to it.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 424px;"><a name="ILL_063" id="ILL_063"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_063.jpg" width="424" height="500" alt="IT WAS ENDLESSLY WEARISOME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">IT WAS ENDLESSLY WEARISOME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Day after day we steamed, and night after night were still where we
+began&mdash;in the centre of the sea, no farther<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> from our starting-point, no
+nearer to our goal, yet for ever steaming. It was endlessly wearisome;
+who could say what might be happening meanwhile in England?</p>
+
+<p>At last, after months, as it seemed, of this slow torture, we reached
+Vancouver. There, in the raw new town, a telegram awaited me. 'Glad to
+hear you are coming. Make all haste. You may be just in time to arrive
+for the trial.'</p>
+
+<p>Just in time! I would not waste a moment. I caught the first train on
+the Canadian Pacific, and travelled straight<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> through, day and night, to
+Montreal and Quebec, without one hour's interval.</p>
+
+<p>I cannot describe to you that journey across a continent I had never
+before seen. It was endless and hopeless. I only know that we crawled up
+the Rocky Mountains and the Selkirk Range, over spider-like viaducts,
+with interminable effort, and that the prairies were just the broad
+Pacific over again. They rolled on for ever. But we did reach Quebec&mdash;in
+time we reached it; and we caught by an hour the first liner to
+Liverpool.</p>
+
+<p>At Prince's Landing-stage another telegram awaited me. 'Come on
+at once. Case now proceeding. Harold is in court. We need your
+evidence.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Georgina Fawley</span>.'</p>
+
+<p>I might still be in time to vindicate Harold's character.</p>
+
+<p>At Euston, to my surprise, I was met not only by my dear cantankerous
+old lady, but also by my friend, the magnificent Maharajah, dressed this
+time in a frock-coat and silk hat of Bond Street glossiness.</p>
+
+<p>'What has brought you to England?' I asked, astonished. 'The Jubilee?'</p>
+
+<p>He smiled, and showed his two fine rows of white teeth. 'That,
+nominally. In reality, the cricket season (I play for Berks). But most
+of all, to see dear Tillington safe through this trouble.'</p>
+
+<p>'He's a brick!' Lady Georgina cried with enthusiasm. 'A regular brick,
+my dear Lois! His carriage is waiting outside to take you up to my
+house. He has stood by Harold&mdash;well, like a Christian!'</p>
+
+<p>'Or a Hindu,' the Maharajah corrected, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>'And how have you been all this time, dear Lady Georgina?' I asked,
+hardly daring to inquire about what was nearest to my soul&mdash;Harold.</p>
+
+<p>The cantankerous old lady knitted her brows in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> familiar fashion. 'Oh,
+my dear, don't ask: I haven't known a happy hour since you left me in
+Switzerland. Lois, I shall never be happy again without you! It would
+pay me to give you a retaining fee of a thousand a year&mdash;honour bright,
+it would, I assure you. What I've suffered from the Gretchens since
+you've been in the East has only been equalled by what I've suffered
+from the Mary Annes and the C&eacute;lestines. Not a hair left on my scalp; not
+one hair, I declare to you. They've made my head into a <i>tabula rasa</i>
+for the various restorers. George R. Sims and Mrs. S. A. Allen are going
+to fight it out between them. My dear, I wish <i>you</i> could take my maid's
+place; I've always said&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>I finished the speech for her. 'A lady can do better whatever she turns
+her hand to than any of these hussies.'</p>
+
+<p>She nodded. 'And why? Because her hands <i>are</i> hands; while as for the
+Gretchens and the Mary Annes, "paws" is the only word one can honestly
+apply to them. Then, on top of it all comes this trouble about Harold.
+So distressing, isn't it? You see, at the point which the matter has
+reached, it's simply impossible to save Harold's reputation without
+wrecking Southminster's. Pretty position that for a respectable family!
+The Ashursts hitherto have been <i>quite</i> respectable: a co-respondent or
+two, perhaps, but never anything serious. Now, either Southminster sends
+Harold to prison, or Harold sends Southminster. There's a nice sort of
+dilemma! I always knew Kynaston's boys were born fools; but to find
+they're born knaves, too, is hard on an old woman in her hairless
+dotage. However, <i>you've</i> come, my child, and <i>you'll</i> soon set things
+right. You're the one person on earth I can trust in this matter.'</p>
+
+<p>Harold go to prison! My head reeled at the thought. I staggered out into
+the open air, and took my seat mechanically in the Maharajah's carriage.
+All London swam before<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> me. After so many months' absence, the
+polychromatic decorations of our English streets, looming up through the
+smoke, seemed both strange and familiar. I drove through the first half
+mile with a vague consciousness that Lipton's tea is the perfection of
+cocoa and matchless for the complexion, but that it dyes all colours,
+and won't wash clothes.</p>
+
+<p>After a while, however, I woke up to the full terror of the situation.
+'Where are you taking me?' I inquired.</p>
+
+<p>'To my house, dear,' Lady Georgina answered, looking anxiously at me;
+for my face was bloodless.</p>
+
+<p>'No, that won't do,' I answered. 'My cue must be now to keep myself as
+aloof as possible from Harold and Harold's backers. I must put up at an
+hotel. It will sound so much better in cross-examination.'</p>
+
+<p>'She's quite right,' the Maharajah broke in, with sudden conviction.
+'One must block every ball with these nasty swift bowlers.'</p>
+
+<p>'Where's Harold?' I asked, after another pause. 'Why didn't he come to
+meet me?'</p>
+
+<p>'My dear, how could he? He's under examination. A cross-eyed Q.C. with
+an odious leer. Southminster's chosen the biggest bully at the Bar to
+support his contention.'</p>
+
+<p>'Drive to some hotel in the Jermyn Street district,' I cried to the
+Maharajah's coachman. 'That will be handy for the law courts.'</p>
+
+<p>He touched his hat and turned. In a sort of dickey behind sat two
+gorgeous-turbaned Rajput servants.</p>
+
+<p>That evening Harold came round to visit me at my rooms. I could see he
+was much agitated. Things had gone very badly. Lady Georgina was there;
+she had stopped to dine with me, dear old thing, lest I should feel
+lonely and give way; so had Elsie Petheridge. Mr. Elworthy sent a
+telegram of welcome from Devonshire. I knew at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span> least that my friends
+were rallying round me in this hour of trial. The kind Maharajah himself
+would have come too, if I had allowed him, but I thought it inexpedient.
+They explained everything to me. Harold had propounded Mr. Ashurst's
+will&mdash;the one I drew up at Florence&mdash;and had asked for probate. Lord
+Southminster intervened and opposed the grant of probate on the ground
+that the signatures were forgeries. He propounded instead another will,
+drawn some twenty years earlier, when they were both children, duly
+executed at the time, and undoubtedly genuine; in it, testator left
+everything without reserve to the eldest son of his eldest brother, Lord
+Kynaston.</p>
+
+<p>'Marmy didn't know in those days that Kynaston's sons would all grow up
+fools,' Lady Georgina said tartly. 'Besides which, that was before the
+poor dear soul took to plunging on the Stock Exchange and made his
+money. He had nothing to leave then but his best silk hat and a few
+paltry hundreds. Afterwards, when he'd feathered his nest in soap and
+cocoa, he discovered that Bertie&mdash;that's Lord Southminster&mdash;was a
+first-class idiot. Marmy never liked Southminster, nor Southminster
+Marmy. For after all, with all his faults, Marmy <i>was</i> a gentleman;
+while Bertie&mdash;well, my dear, we needn't put a name to it. So he altered
+his will, as you know, when he saw the sort of man Southminster turned
+out, and left practically everything he possessed to Harold.'</p>
+
+<p>'Who are the witnesses to the will?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'There's the trouble. Who do you think? Why, Higginson's sister, who was
+Marmy's <i>masseuse</i>, and a waiter&mdash;Franz Markheim&mdash;at the hotel at
+Florence, who's dead they say&mdash;or, at least, not forthcoming.'</p>
+
+<p>'And Higginson's sister forswears her signature,' Harold added gloomily;
+'while the experts are, most of them, dead against the genuineness of my
+uncle's.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'That's clever,' I said, leaning back, and taking it in slowly.
+'Higginson's sister! How well they've worked it. They couldn't prevent
+Mr. Ashurst from making this will, but they managed to supply their own
+tainted witnesses! If it had been Higginson himself now, he'd have had
+to be cross-examined; and in cross-examination, of course, we could have
+shaken his credit, by bringing up the episodes of the Count de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret and Dr. Fortescue-Langley. But his sister! What's she
+like? Have you anything against her?'</p>
+
+<p>'My dear,' Lady Georgina cried, 'there the rogue has bested us. Isn't it
+just like him? What do you suppose he has done? Why, provided himself
+with a sister of tried respectability and blameless character.'</p>
+
+<p>'And she denies that it is her handwriting?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'Declares on her Bible oath she never signed the document.'</p>
+
+<p>I was fairly puzzled. It was a stupendously clever dodge. Higginson must
+have trained up his sister for forty years in the ways of wickedness,
+yet held her in reserve for this supreme moment.</p>
+
+<p>'And where is Higginson?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina broke into a hysterical laugh. 'Where is he, my dear?
+That's the question. With consummate strategy, the wretch has
+disappeared into space at the last moment.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's artful again,' I said. 'His presence could only damage their
+case. I can see, of course, Lord Southminster has no need of him.'</p>
+
+<p>'Southminster's the wiliest fool that ever lived,' Harold broke out
+bitterly. 'Under that mask of imbecility, he's a fox for trickiness.'</p>
+
+<p>I bit my lip. 'Well, if you succeed in evading him,' I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span> said, 'you will
+have cleared your character. And if you don't&mdash;then, Harold, our time
+will have come: you will have your longed-for chance of trying me.'</p>
+
+<p>'That won't do me much good,' he answered, 'if I have to wait fourteen
+years for you&mdash;at Portland.'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 488px;"><a name="ILL_064" id="ILL_064"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_064.jpg" width="488" height="500" alt="THE CROSS-EYED Q.C. BEGGED HIM TO BE VERY CAREFUL." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE CROSS-EYED Q.C. BEGGED HIM TO BE VERY CAREFUL.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Next morning, in court, I heard Harold's cross-examination. He described
+exactly where he had found the contested will in his uncle's escritoire.
+The cross-eyed Q.C, a heavy man with bloated features and a bulbous
+nose, begged him, with one fat uplifted forefinger, to be very careful.
+How did he know where to look for it?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Because I knew the house well: I knew where my uncle was likely to keep
+his valuables.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, indeed; <i>not</i> because you had put it there?'</p>
+
+<p>The court rang with laughter. My face grew crimson.</p>
+
+<p>After an hour or two of fencing, Harold was dismissed. He stood down,
+baffled. Counsel recalled Lord Southminster.</p>
+
+<p>The pea-green young man, stepping briskly up, gazed about him,
+open-mouthed, with a vacant stare. The look of cunning on his face was
+carefully suppressed. He wore, on the contrary, an air of injured
+innocence combined with an eye-glass.</p>
+
+<p>'<i>You</i> did not put this will in the drawer where Mr. Tillington found
+it, did you?' counsel asked.</p>
+
+<p>The pea-green young man laughed. 'No, I certainly didn't put it theah.
+My cousin Harold was man in possession. He took jolly good care <i>I</i>
+didn't come neah the premises.'</p>
+
+<p>'Do you think you could forge a will if you tried?'</p>
+
+<p>Lord Southminster laughed. 'No, I don't,' he answered, with a
+well-assumed <i>na&iuml;vet&eacute;</i>. 'That's just the difference between us, don't
+yah know. <i>I'm</i> what they call a fool, and my cousin Harold's a precious
+clevah fellah.'</p>
+
+<p>There was another loud laugh.</p>
+
+<p>'That's not evidence,' the judge observed, severely.</p>
+
+<p>It was not. But it told far more than much that was. It told strongly
+against Harold.</p>
+
+<p>'Besides,' Lord Southminster continued, with engaging frankness, 'if I
+forged a will at all, I'd take jolly good care to forge it in my own
+favah.'</p>
+
+<p>My turn came next. Our counsel handed me the incriminated will. 'Did you
+draw up this document?' he asked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I looked at it closely. The paper bore our Florentine water-mark, and
+was written with a Spread-Eagle. 'I type-wrote it,' I answered, gazing
+at it with care to make sure I recognised it.</p>
+
+<p>Our counsel's business was to uphold the will, not to cast aspersions
+upon it. He was evidently annoyed at my close examination. 'You have no
+doubts about it?' he said, trying to prompt me.</p>
+
+<p>I hesitated. 'No, no doubts,' I answered, turning over the sheet and
+inspecting it still closer. 'I type-wrote it at Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>'Do you recognise that signature as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's?' he went
+on.</p>
+
+<p>I stared at it. Was it his? It was like it, certainly. Yet that <i>k</i>? and
+those <i>s</i>'s? I almost wondered.</p>
+
+<p>Counsel was obviously annoyed at my hesitation. He thought I was playing
+into the enemy's hands. 'Is it his, or is it not?' he inquired again,
+testily.</p>
+
+<p>'It is his,' I answered. Yet I own I was troubled.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_065" id="ILL_065"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_065.jpg" width="500" height="489" alt="I WAS A GROTESQUE FAILURE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I WAS A GROTESQUE FAILURE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He asked many questions about the circumstances of the interview when I
+took down the will. I answered them all. But I vaguely felt he and I
+were at cross-purposes. I grew almost as uncomfortable under his gaze as
+if he had been examining me in the interest of the other side. He
+managed to fluster me. As a witness for Harold, I was a grotesque
+failure.</p>
+
+<p>Then the cross-eyed Q.C., rising and shaking his huge bulk, began to
+cross-examine me. 'Where did you type-write this thing, do you say?' he
+said, pointing to it contemptuously.</p>
+
+<p>'In my office at Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I understand; you had an office in Florence&mdash;after you gave up
+retailing bicycles on the public roads; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span> you had a partner, I
+think&mdash;a Miss Petherick, or Petherton, or Pennyfarthing, or something?'</p>
+
+<p>'Miss Petheridge,' I corrected, while the Court tittered.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah, Petheridge, you call it! Well, now answer this question carefully.
+Did your Miss Petheridge hear Mr. Ashurst dictate the terms of his last
+will and testament?'</p>
+
+<p>'No,' I answered. 'The interview was of a strictly confidential
+character. Mr. Ashurst took me aside into the back room at our office.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Oh, he took you aside? Confidential? Well, now we're getting at it. And
+did anybody but yourself see or hear any part whatsoever of this
+precious document?'</p>
+
+<p>'Certainly not,' I replied. 'It was a private matter.'</p>
+
+<p>'Private! oh, very! Nobody else saw it. Did Mr. Ashurst take it away
+from the office in person?'</p>
+
+<p>'No; he sent his courier for it.'</p>
+
+<p>'His courier? The man Higginson?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes; but I refused to give it to Higginson. I took it myself that night
+to the hotel where Mr. Ashurst was stopping.'</p>
+
+<p>'Ah! You took it yourself. So the only other person who knows anything
+at first hand about the existence of the alleged will is this person
+Higginson?'</p>
+
+<p>'Miss Petheridge knows,' I said, flushing. 'At the time, I told her of
+it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, <i>you</i> told her. Well, that doesn't help us much. If what you are
+swearing isn't true&mdash;remember, you are on your oath&mdash;what you told Miss
+Petherick or Petheridge or Pennyfarthing, "at the time," can hardly be
+regarded as corroborative evidence. Your word then and your word now are
+just equally valuable&mdash;or equally worthless. The only person who knows
+besides yourself is Higginson. Now, I ask you, <i>where</i> is Higginson?
+<i>Are</i> you going to produce him?'</p>
+
+<p>The wicked cunning of it struck me dumb. They were keeping him away, and
+then using his absence to cast doubts on my veracity. 'Stop,' I cried,
+taken aback, 'Higginson is well known to be a rogue, and he is keeping
+away lest he may damage your side. I know nothing of Higginson.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I'm coming to that in good time. Don't be afraid that we're going
+to pass over Higginson. You admit<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span> this man is a man of bad character.
+Now, what do you know of him?'</p>
+
+<p>I told the stories of the Count and of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.</p>
+
+<p>The cross-eyed cross-examiner leant across towards me and leered. 'And
+this is the man,' he exclaimed, with a triumphant air, 'whose sister you
+pretended you had got to sign this precious document of yours?'</p>
+
+<p>'Whom Mr. Ashurst got to sign it,' I answered, red-hot. 'It is not <i>my</i>
+document.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you have heard that she swears it is not her signature at all?'</p>
+
+<p>'So they tell me. She is Higginson's sister. For all I know, she may be
+prepared to swear, or to forswear, anything.'</p>
+
+<p>'Don't cast doubt upon our witnesses without cause! Miss Higginson is an
+eminently respectable woman. You gave this document to Mr. Ashurst, you
+say. There your knowledge of it ends. A signature is placed on it which
+is not his, as our experts testify. It purports to be witnessed by a
+Swiss waiter, who is not forthcoming, and who is asserted to be dead, as
+well as by a nurse who denies her signature. And the only other person
+who knows of its existence before Mr. Tillington "discovers" it in his
+uncle's desk is&mdash;the missing man Higginson. Is that, or is it not, the
+truth of the matter?'</p>
+
+<p>'I suppose so,' I said, baffled.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, now, as to this man Higginson. He first appears upon the scene,
+so far as you are concerned, on the day when you travelled from London
+to Schlangenbad?'</p>
+
+<p>'That is so,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'And he nearly succeeded then in stealing Lady Georgina Fawley's
+jewel-case?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'He nearly took it, but I saved it.' And I explained the circumstance.</p>
+
+<p>The cross-eyed Q.C. held his fat sides with his hands, looking
+incredulously at me, and smiled. His vast width of waistcoat shook with
+silent merriment. 'You are a very clever young lady,' he murmured. 'You
+can explain away anything. But don't you think it just as likely that it
+was a plot between you two, and that owing to some mistake the plot came
+off unsuccessful?'</p>
+
+<p>'I do not,' I cried, crimson. 'I never saw the Count before that
+morning.'</p>
+
+<p>He tried another tack. 'Still, wherever you went, this man
+Higginson&mdash;the only other person, you admit, who knows about the
+previous existence of the will&mdash;turned up simultaneously. He was always
+turning up&mdash;at the same place as you did. He turned up at Lucerne, as a
+faith-healer, didn't he?'</p>
+
+<p>'If you will allow me to explain,' I cried, biting my lip.</p>
+
+<p>He bowed, all blandness. 'Oh, certainly,' he murmured. 'Explain away
+everything!'</p>
+
+<p>I explained, but of course he had discounted and damaged my explanation.</p>
+
+<p>He made no comment. 'And then,' he went on, with his hands on his hips,
+and his obtrusive rotundity, 'he turned up at Florence, as courier to
+Mr. Ashurst, at the very date when this so-called will was being
+concocted?'</p>
+
+<p>'He was at Florence when Mr. Ashurst dictated it to me,' I answered,
+growing desperate.</p>
+
+<p>'You admit he was in Florence. Good! Once more he turned up in India
+with my client, Lord Southminster, upon whose youth and inexperience he
+had managed to impose himself. And he carried him off, did he not, by
+one of these strange coincidences to which <i>you</i> are peculiarly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span> liable,
+on the very same steamer on which <i>you</i> happened to be travelling?'</p>
+
+<p>'Lord Southminster told me he took Higginson with him because a rogue
+suited his book,' I answered, warmly.</p>
+
+<p>'Will you swear his lordship didn't say "<i>the</i> rogue suited his
+book"&mdash;which is quite another thing?' the Q.C. asked blandly.</p>
+
+<p>'I will swear he did not,' I replied. 'I have correctly reported him.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then I congratulate you, young lady, on your excellent memory. My lud,
+will you allow me later to recall Lord Southminster to testify on this
+point?'</p>
+
+<p>The judge nodded.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, once more, as to your relations with the various members of the
+Ashurst family. You introduced yourself to Lady Georgina Fawley, I
+believe, quite casually, on a seat in Kensington Gardens?'</p>
+
+<p>'That is true,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'You had never seen her before?'</p>
+
+<p>'Never.'</p>
+
+<p>'And you promptly offered to go with her as her lady's maid to
+Schlangenbad in Germany?'</p>
+
+<p>'In place of her lady's maid, for one week,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah; a delicate distinction! "In place of her lady's maid." You are a
+lady, I believe; an officer's daughter, you told us; educated at
+Girton?'</p>
+
+<p>'So I have said already,' I replied, crimson.</p>
+
+<p>'And you stick to it? By all means. Tell&mdash;the truth&mdash;and stick to it.
+It's always safest. Now, don't you think it was rather an odd thing for
+an officer's daughter to do&mdash;to run about Germany as maid to a lady of
+title?'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_066" id="ILL_066"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_066.jpg" width="600" height="316" alt="THE JURY SMILED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE JURY SMILED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I tried to explain once more; but the jury smiled.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span> You can't justify
+originality to a British jury. Why, they would send you to prison at
+once for that alone, if they made the laws as well as dispensing them.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He passed on after a while to another topic. 'I think you have boasted
+more than once in society that when you first met Lady Georgina Fawley
+you had twopence in your pocket to go round the world with?'</p>
+
+<p>'I had,' I answered&mdash;'and I went round the world with it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Exactly. I'm getting there in time. With it&mdash;and other things. A few
+months later, more or less, you were touring up the Nile in your steam
+dahabeeah, and in the lap of luxury; you were taking saloon-carriages on
+Indian railways, weren't you?'</p>
+
+<p>I explained again. 'The dahabeeah was in the service of the <i>Daily
+Telephone</i>,' I answered. 'I became a journalist.'</p>
+
+<p>He cross-questioned me about that. 'Then I am to understand,' he said at
+last, leaning forward with all his waistcoat, 'that you sprang yourself
+upon Mr. Elworthy at sight, pretty much as you sprang yourself upon Lady
+Georgina Fawley?'</p>
+
+<p>'We arranged matters quickly,' I admitted. The dexterous wretch was
+making my strongest points all tell against me.</p>
+
+<p>'H'm! Well, he was a man: and you will admit, I suppose,' fingering his
+smooth fat chin, 'that you are a lady of&mdash;what is the stock phrase the
+reporters use?&mdash;considerable personal attractions?'</p>
+
+<p>'My Lord,' I said, turning to the Bench, 'I appeal to you. Has he the
+right to compel me to answer that question?'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 416px;"><a name="ILL_067" id="ILL_067"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_067.jpg" width="416" height="500" alt="THE QUESTION REQUIRES NO ANSWER, HE SAID." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE QUESTION REQUIRES NO ANSWER, HE SAID.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The judge bowed slightly. 'The question requires no answer,' he said,
+with a quiet emphasis. I burned bright scarlet.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, my lud, I defer to your ruling,' the cross-eyed cross-examiner
+continued, radiant. 'I go on to another<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span> point. When in India, I
+believe, you stopped for some time as a guest in the house of a native
+Maharajah.'</p>
+
+<p>'Is that matter relevant?' the judge asked, sharply.</p>
+
+<p>'My lud,' the Q.C. said, in his blandest voice, 'I am striving to
+suggest to the jury that this lady&mdash;the only person who ever beheld this
+so-called will till Mr. Harold Tillington&mdash;described in its terms as
+"Younger of Gledcliffe,"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span> whatever that may be&mdash;produced it out of his
+uncle's desk&mdash; I am striving to suggest that this lady is&mdash;my duty to my
+client compels me to say&mdash;an adventuress.'</p>
+
+<p>He had uttered the word. I felt my character had not a leg left to stand
+upon before a British jury.</p>
+
+<p>'I went there with my friend, Miss Petheridge&mdash;&mdash;' I began.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, Miss Petheridge once more&mdash;you hunt in couples?'</p>
+
+<p>'Accompanied and chaperoned by a married lady, the wife of a Major
+Balmossie, on the Bombay Staff Corps.'</p>
+
+<p>'That was certainly prudent. One ought to be chaperoned. Can you produce
+the lady?'</p>
+
+<p>'How is it possible?' I cried. 'Mrs. Balmossie is in India.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes; but the Maharajah, I understand, is in London?'</p>
+
+<p>'That is true,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'And he came to meet you on your arrival yesterday.'</p>
+
+<p>'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I cried, taken off my guard.</p>
+
+<p>'Do you not consider it curious,' he asked, 'that these Higginsons and
+these Maharajahs should happen to follow you so closely round the
+world?&mdash;should happen to turn up wherever you do?'</p>
+
+<p>'He came to be present at this trial,' I exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p>'And so did you. I believe he met you at Euston last night, and drove
+you to your hotel in his private carriage.'</p>
+
+<p>'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I answered, once more.</p>
+
+<p>'And Lady Georgina is on Mr. Tillington's side, I fancy? Ah, yes, I
+thought so. And Mr. Tillington also called to see you; and likewise Miss
+Petherick&mdash; I beg your pardon, Petheridge. We must be strictly
+accurate&mdash;where Miss Petheridge is concerned. And, in fact, you had
+quite a little family party.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'My friends were glad to see me back again,' I murmured.</p>
+
+<p>He sprang a fresh innuendo. 'But Mr. Tillington did not resent your
+visit to this gallant Maharajah?'</p>
+
+<p>'Certainly not,' I cried, bridling. 'Why should he?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, we're getting to that too. Now answer me this carefully. We want to
+find out what interest you might have, supposing a will were forged, on
+either side, in arranging its terms. We want to find out just who would
+benefit by it. Please reply to this question, yes or no, without
+prevarication. Are you or are you not conditionally engaged to Mr.
+Harold Tillington?'</p>
+
+<p>'If I might explain&mdash;&mdash;' I began, quivering.</p>
+
+<p>He sneered. 'You have a genius for explaining, we are aware. Answer me
+first, yes or no; we will qualify afterward.'</p>
+
+<p>I glanced appealingly at the judge. He was adamant. 'Answer as counsel
+directs you, witness,' he said, sternly.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I am,' I faltered. 'But&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'Excuse me one moment. You promised to marry him conditionally upon the
+result of Mr. Ashurst's testamentary dispositions?'</p>
+
+<p>'I did,' I answered; 'but&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>My explanation was drowned in roars of laughter, in which the judge
+joined, in spite of himself. When the mirth in court had subsided a
+little, I went on: 'I told Mr. Tillington I would only marry him in case
+he was poor and without expectations. If he inherited Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst's money, I could never be his wife,' I said it proudly.</p>
+
+<p>The cross-eyed Q.C. drew himself up and let his rotundity take care of
+itself. 'Do you take me,' he inquired, 'for one of Her Majesty's
+horse-marines?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>There was another roar of laughter&mdash;feebly suppressed by a judicial
+frown&mdash;and I slank away, annihilated.</p>
+
+<p>'You can go,' my persecutor said. 'I think we have got&mdash;well, everything
+we wanted from you. You promised to marry him, if all went ill! That is
+a delicate feminine way of putting it. Women like these equivocations.
+They relieve one from the onus of speaking frankly.'</p>
+
+<p>I stood down from the box, feeling, for the first time in my life,
+conscious of having scored an ignominious failure.</p>
+
+<p>Our counsel did not care to re-examine me; I recognised that it would be
+useless. The hateful Q.C. had put all my history in such an odious light
+that explanation could only make matters worse&mdash;it must savour of
+apology. The jury could never understand my point of view. It could
+never be made to see that there are adventuresses and adventuresses.</p>
+
+<p>Then came the final speeches on either side. Harold's advocate said the
+best he could in favour of the will our party propounded; but his best
+was bad; and what galled me most was this&mdash; I could see he himself did
+not believe in its genuineness. His speech amounted to little more than
+a perfunctory attempt to put the most favourable face on a probable
+forgery.</p>
+
+<p>As for the cross-eyed Q.C., he rose to reply with humorous confidence.
+Swaying his big body to and fro, he crumpled our will and our case in
+his fat fingers like so much flimsy tissue-paper. Mr. Ashurst had made a
+disposition of his property twenty years ago&mdash;the right disposition, the
+natural disposition; he had left the bulk of it as childless English
+gentlemen have ever been wont to leave their wealth&mdash;to the eldest son
+of the eldest son of his family. The Honourable Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst, the testator, was the scion of a great house, which recent
+agricultural changes,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span> he regretted to say, had relatively impoverished;
+he had come to the succour of that great house, as such a scion should,
+with his property acquired by honest industry elsewhere. It was fitting
+and reasonable that Mr. Ashurst should wish to see the Kynaston peerage
+regain, in the person of the amiable and accomplished young nobleman
+whom he had the honour to represent, some portion of its ancient dignity
+and splendour.</p>
+
+<p>But jealousy and greed intervened. (Here he frowned at Harold.) Mr.
+Harold Tillington, the son of one of Mr. Ashurst's married sisters, cast
+longing eyes, as he had tried to suggest to them, on his cousin Lord
+Southminster's natural heritage. The result, he feared, was an unnatural
+intrigue. Mr. Harold Tillington formed the acquaintance of a young
+lady&mdash;should we say young lady?&mdash;(he withered me with his glance)&mdash;well,
+yes, a lady, indeed, by birth and education, but an adventuress by
+choice&mdash;a lady who, brought up in a respectable, though not (he must
+admit) a distinguished sphere, had lowered herself by accepting the
+position of a lady's maid, and had trafficked in patent American cycles
+on the public high-roads of Germany and Switzerland. This clever and
+designing woman (he would grant her ability&mdash;he would grant her good
+looks) had fascinated Mr. Tillington&mdash;that was the theory he ventured to
+lay before the jury to-day; and the jury would see for themselves that
+whatever else the young lady might be, she had distinctly a certain
+outer gift of fascination. It was for them to decide whether Miss Lois
+Cayley had or had not suggested to Mr. Harold Tillington the design of
+substituting a forged will for Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's undeniable
+testament. He would point out to them her singular connection with the
+missing man Higginson, whom the young lady herself described as a rogue,
+and from whom she had done her very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span> best to dissociate herself in this
+court&mdash;but ineffectually. Wherever Miss Cayley went, the man Higginson
+went independently. Such frequent recurrences, such apt juxtapositions
+could hardly be set down to mere accidental coincidence.</p>
+
+<p>He went on to insinuate that Higginson and I had concocted the disputed
+will between us; that we had passed it on to our fellow-conspirator,
+Harold; and that Harold had forged his uncle's signature to it, and had
+appended those of the two supposed witnesses. But who, now, were these
+witnesses? One, Franz Markheim, was dead or missing; dead men tell no
+tales: the other was obviously suggested by Higginson. It was his own
+sister. Perhaps he forged her name to the document. Doubtless he thought
+that family feeling would induce her, when it came to the pinch, to
+accept and endorse her brother's lie; nay, he might even have been
+foolish enough to suppose that this cock-and-bull will would not be
+disputed. If so, he and his master had reckoned without Lord
+Southminster, a gentleman who concealed beneath the careless exterior of
+a man of fashion the solid intelligence of a man of affairs, and the
+hard head of a man not to be lightly cheated in matters of business.</p>
+
+<p>The alleged will had thus not a leg to stand upon. It was 'typewritten'
+(save the mark!) 'from dictation' at Florence, by whom? By the lady who
+had most to gain from its success&mdash;the lady who was to be transformed
+from a shady adventuress, tossed about between Irish doctors and Hindu
+Maharajahs, into the lawful wife of a wealthy diplomatist of noble
+family, on one condition only&mdash;if this pretended will could be
+satisfactorily established. The signatures were forgeries, as shown by
+the expert evidence, and also by the oath of the one surviving witness.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The will left all the estate&mdash;practically&mdash;to Mr. Harold Tillington, and
+five hundred pounds to whom?&mdash;why, to the accomplice Higginson. The
+minor bequests the Q.C. regarded as ingenious inventions, pure play of
+fancy, 'intended to give artistic verisimilitude,' as Pooh-Bah says in
+the opera, 'to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.' The fads,
+it was true, were known fads of Mr. Ashurst's: but what sort of fads?
+Bimetallism? Anglo-Israel? No, braces and shoe-horns&mdash;clearly the kind
+that would best be known to a courier like Higginson, the sole begetter,
+he believed, of this nefarious conspiracy.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 275px;"><a name="ILL_068" id="ILL_068"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_068.jpg" width="275" height="500" alt="I REELED WHERE I SAT." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I REELED WHERE I SAT.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The cross-eyed Q.C., lifting his fat right hand in solemn adjuration,
+called upon the jury confidently to set aside this ridiculous
+fabrication, and declare for a will of undoubted genuineness, a will
+drawn up in London by a firm of eminent solicitors, and preserved ever
+since by the testator's bankers. It would then be for his lordship to
+decide whether in the public interest he should recommend the Crown to
+prosecute on a charge of forgery the clumsy fabricator of this
+preposterous document.</p>
+
+<p>The judge summed up&mdash;strongly in favour of Lord Southminster's will. If
+the jury believed the experts and Miss Higginson, one verdict alone was
+possible. The jury retired for three minutes only. It was a foregone
+conclusion. They found for Lord Southminster. The judge, looking grave,
+concurred in their finding. A most proper verdict. And he considered it
+would be the duty of the Public Prosecutor to pursue Mr. Harold
+Tillington on the charge of forgery.</p>
+
+<p>I reeled where I sat. Then I looked round for Harold.</p>
+
+<p>He had slipped from the court, unseen, during counsel's address, some
+minutes earlier!</p>
+
+<p>That distressed me more than anything else on that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span> dreadful day. I
+wished he had stood up in his place like a man to face this vile and
+cruel conspiracy.</p>
+
+<p>I walked out slowly, supported by Lady Georgina, who was as white as a
+ghost herself, but very straight and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span> scornful. 'I always knew
+Southminster was a fool,' she said aloud; 'I always knew he was a sneak;
+but I did not know till now he was also a particularly bad type of
+criminal.'</p>
+
+<p>On the steps of the court, the pea-green young man met us. His air was
+jaunty. 'Well, I was right, yah see,' he said, smiling and withdrawing
+his cigarette. 'You backed the wrong fellah! I told you I'd win. I won't
+say moah now; this is not the time or place to recur to that subject;
+but, by-and-by, you'll come round; you'll think bettah of it still;
+you'll back the winnah!'</p>
+
+<p>I wished I were a man, that I might have the pleasure of kicking him.</p>
+
+<p>We drove back to my hotel and waited for Harold. To my horror and alarm,
+he never came near us. I might almost have doubted him&mdash;if he had not
+been Harold.</p>
+
+<p>I waited and waited. He did not come at all. He sent no word, no
+message. And all that evening we heard the newsboys shouting at the top
+of their voice in the street, 'Extra Speshul! the Ashurst Will Kise;
+Sensational Developments' 'Mysterious Disappearance of Mr. 'Arold
+Tillington.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE ORIENTAL ATTENDANT</h3>
+
+<p>I did not sleep that night. Next morning, I rose very early from a
+restless bed with a dry, hot mouth, and a general feeling that the solid
+earth had failed beneath me.</p>
+
+<p>Still no news from Harold! It was cruel, I thought. My faith almost
+flagged. He was a man and should be brave. How could he run away and
+hide himself at such a time? Even if I set my own anxiety aside, just
+think to what serious misapprehension it laid him open!</p>
+
+<p>I sent out for the morning papers. They were full of Harold. Rumours,
+rumours, rumours! Mr. Tillington had deliberately chosen to put himself
+in the wrong by disappearing mysteriously at the last moment. He had
+only himself to blame if the worst interpretation were put upon his
+action. But the police were on his track; Scotland Yard had 'a clue': it
+was confidently expected an arrest would be made before evening at
+latest. As to details, authorities differed. The officials of the Great
+Western Railway at Paddington were convinced that Mr. Tillington had
+started, alone and undisguised, by the night express for Exeter. The
+South-Eastern inspectors at Charing Cross, on the other hand, were
+equally certain that he had slipped away with a false beard, in company
+with his 'accomplice' Higginson, by the 8.15<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span> <span class="smcap">p.m.</span> to Paris. Everybody
+took it for granted, however, that he had left London.</p>
+
+<p>Conjecture played with various ultimate destinations&mdash;Spain, Morocco,
+Sicily, the Argentine. In Italy, said the <i>Chronicle</i>, he might lurk for
+a while&mdash;he spoke Italian fluently, and could manage to put up at tiny
+<i>osterie</i> in out-of-the-way places seldom visited by Englishmen. He
+might try Albania, said the <i>Morning Post</i>, airing its exclusive
+'society' information: he had often hunted there, and might in turn be
+hunted. He would probably attempt to slink away to some remote spot in
+the Carpathians or the Balkans, said the <i>Daily News</i>, quite proud of
+its geography. Still, wherever he went, leaden-footed justice in this
+age, said the <i>Times</i>, must surely overtake him. The day of universal
+extradition had dawned; we had no more Alsatias: even the Argentine
+itself gives up its rogues&mdash;at last; not an asylum for crime remains in
+Europe, not a refuge in Asia, Africa, America, Australia, or the Pacific
+Islands.</p>
+
+<p>I noted with a shudder of horror that all the papers alike took his
+guilt as certain. In spite of a few decent pretences at not prejudging
+an untried cause, they treated him already as the detected criminal, the
+fugitive from justice. I sat in my little sitting-room at the hotel in
+Jermyn Street, a limp rag, looking idly out of the window with swimming
+eyes, and waiting for Lady Georgina. It was early, too early, but&mdash;oh,
+why didn't she come! Unless <i>somebody</i> soon sympathised with me, my
+heart would break under this load of loneliness!</p>
+
+<p>Presently, as I looked out on the sloppy morning street, I was vaguely
+aware through the mist that floated before my dry eyes (for tears were
+denied me) of a very grand carriage driving up to the doorway&mdash;the porch
+with the four wooden Ionic pillars. I took no heed of it. I was too<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span>
+heart-sick for observation. My life was wrecked, and Harold's with it.
+Yet, dimly through the mist, I became conscious after a while that the
+carriage was that of an Indian prince; I could see the black faces, the
+white turbans, the gold brocades of the attendants in the dickey. Then
+it came home to me with a pang that this was the Maharajah.</p>
+
+<p>It was kindly meant; yet after all that had been insinuated in court the
+day before, I was by no means over-pleased that his dusky Highness
+should come to call upon me. Walls have eyes and ears. Reporters were
+hanging about all over London, eager to distinguish themselves by
+successful eavesdropping. They would note, with brisk innuendoes after
+their kind, how 'the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar called early in the
+day on Miss Lois Cayley, with whom he remained for at least half an hour
+in close consultation.' I had half a mind to send down a message that I
+could not see him. My face still burned with the undeserved shame of the
+cross-eyed Q.C.'s unspeakable suggestions.</p>
+
+<p>Before I could make my mind up, however, I saw to my surprise that the
+Maharajah did not propose to come in himself. He leaned back in his
+place with his lordly Eastern air, and waited, looking down on the
+gapers in the street, while one of the two gorgeous attendants in the
+dickey descended obsequiously to receive his orders. The man was dressed
+as usual in rich Oriental stuffs, and wore his full white turban swathed
+in folds round his head. I could not see his features. He bent forward
+respectfully with Oriental suppleness to take his Highness's orders.
+Then, receiving a card and bowing low, he entered the porch with the
+wooden Ionic pillars, and disappeared within, while the Maharajah folded
+his hands and seemed to resign himself to a temporary Nirvana.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_069" id="ILL_069"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_069.jpg" width="600" height="532" alt="THE MESSENGER ENTERED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE MESSENGER ENTERED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>A minute later, a knock sounded on my door. 'Come in!' I said, faintly;
+and the messenger entered.</p>
+
+<p>I turned and faced him. The blood rushed to my cheek. 'Harold!' I cried,
+darting forward. My joy overcame me. He folded me in his arms. I allowed
+him, unreproved. For the first time he kissed me. I did not shrink from
+it.</p>
+
+<p>Then I stood away a little and gazed at him. Even at that crucial moment
+of doubt and fear, I could not help<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span> noticing how admirably he made up
+as a handsome young Rajput. Three years earlier, at Schlangenbad, I
+remembered he had struck me as strangely Oriental-looking: he had the
+features of a high-born Indian gentleman, without the complexion. His
+large, poetical eyes, his regular, oval face, his even teeth, his mouth
+and moustache, all vaguely recalled the highest type of the Eastern
+temperament. Now, he had blackened his face and hands with some
+permanent stain&mdash;Indian ink, I learned later&mdash;and the resemblance to a
+Rajput chief was positively startling. In his gold brocade and ample
+white turban, no passer-by, I felt sure, would ever have dreamt of
+doubting him.</p>
+
+<p>'Then you knew me at once?' he said, holding my face between his hands.
+'That's bad, darling! I flattered myself I had transformed my face into
+the complete Indian.'</p>
+
+<p>'Love has sharp eyes,' I answered. 'It can see through brick walls. But
+the disguise is perfect. No one else would detect you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Love is blind, I thought.'</p>
+
+<p>'Not where it ought to see. There, it pierces everything. I knew you
+instantly, Harold. But all London, I am sure, would pass you by,
+unknown. You are absolute Orient.'</p>
+
+<p>'That's well; for all London is looking for me,' he answered, bitterly.
+'The streets bristle with detectives. Southminster's knaveries have won
+the day. So I have tried this disguise. Otherwise, I should have been
+arrested the moment the jury brought in their verdict.'</p>
+
+<p>'And why were you not?' I asked, drawing back. 'Oh, Harold, I trust
+you; but why did you disappear and make all the world believe you
+admitted yourself guilty?'</p>
+
+<p>He opened his arms. 'Can't you guess?' he cried, holding them out to
+me.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>I nestled in them once more; but I answered through my tears&mdash;I had
+found tears now&mdash;'No Harold; it baffles me.'</p>
+
+<p>'You remember what you promised me?' he murmured, leaning over me and
+clasping me. 'If ever I were poor, friendless, hunted&mdash;you would marry
+me. Now the opportunity has come when we can both prove ourselves.
+To-day, except you and dear Georgey, I haven't a friend in the world.
+Everyone else has turned against me. Southminster holds the field. I am
+a suspected forger; in a very few days I shall doubtless be a convicted
+felon. Unjustly, as you know; yet still&mdash;we must face it&mdash;a convicted
+felon. So I have come to claim you. I have come to ask you now, in this
+moment of despair, will you keep your promise?'</p>
+
+<p>I lifted my face to his. He bent over it trembling. I whispered the
+words in his ear. 'Yes, Harold, I will keep it. I have always loved you.
+And now I will marry you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I knew you would!' he cried, and pressed me to his bosom.</p>
+
+<p>We sat for some minutes, holding each other's hands, and saying nothing;
+we were too full of thought for words. Then suddenly, Harold roused
+himself. 'We must make haste, darling,' he cried. 'We are keeping Partab
+outside, and every minute is precious, every minute's delay dangerous.
+We ought to go down at once. Partab's carriage is waiting at the door
+for us.'</p>
+
+<p>'Go down?' I exclaimed, clinging to him. 'How? Why? I don't understand.
+What is your programme?'</p>
+
+<p>'Ah, I forgot I hadn't explained to you! Listen here, dearest&mdash;quick; I
+can waste no words over it. I said just now I had no friends in the
+world but you and Georgey. That's not true, for dear old Partab has
+stuck to me nobly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span> When all my English friends fell away, the Rajput
+was true to me. He arranged all this; it was his own idea; he foresaw
+what was coming. He urged me yesterday, just before the verdict (when he
+saw my acquaintances beginning to look askance), to slip quietly out of
+court, and make my way by unobtrusive roads to his house in Curzon
+Street. There, he darkened my face like his, and converted me to
+Hinduism. I don't suppose the disguise will serve me for more than a day
+or two; but it will last long enough for us to get safely away to
+Scotland.'</p>
+
+<p>'Scotland?' I murmured. 'Then you mean to try a Scotch marriage?'</p>
+
+<p>'It is the only thing possible. We must be married to-day, and in
+England, of course, we cannot do it. We would have to be called in
+church, or else to procure a license, either of which would involve
+disclosure of my identity. Besides, even the license would keep us
+waiting about for a day or two. In Scotland, on the other hand, we can
+be married at once. Partab's carriage is below, to take you to King's
+Cross. He is staunch as steel, dear fellow. Do you consent to go with
+me?'</p>
+
+<p>My faculty for promptly making up such mind as I possess stood me once
+more in good stead. 'Implicitly,' I answered. 'Dear Harold, this
+calamity has its happy side&mdash;for without it, much as I love you, I could
+never have brought myself to marry you!'</p>
+
+<p>'One moment,' he cried. 'Before you go, recollect, this step is
+irrevocable. You will marry a man who may be torn from you this evening,
+and from whom fourteen years of prison may separate you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I know it,' I cried, through my tears. 'But&mdash; I shall be showing my
+confidence in you, my love for you.'</p>
+
+<p>He kissed me once more, fervently. 'This makes<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span> amends for all,' he
+cried. 'Lois, to have won such a woman as you, I would go through it all
+a thousand times over. It was for this, and for this alone, that I hid
+myself last night. I wanted to give you the chance of showing me how
+much, how truly you loved me.'</p>
+
+<p>'And after we are married?' I asked, trembling.</p>
+
+<p>'I shall give myself up at once to the police in Edinburgh.'</p>
+
+<p>I clung to him wistfully. My heart half urged me to urge him to escape.
+But I knew that was wrong. 'Give yourself up, then,' I said, sobbing.
+'It is a brave man's place. You must stand your trial; and, come what
+will, I will strive to bear it with you.'</p>
+
+<p>'I knew you would,' he cried. 'I was not mistaken in you.'</p>
+
+<p>We embraced again, just once. It was little enough after those years of
+waiting.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, come!' he cried. 'Let us go.'</p>
+
+<p>I drew back. 'Not with you, dearest,' I whispered. 'Not in the
+Maharajah's carriage. You must start by yourself. I will follow you at
+once, to King's Cross, in a hansom.'</p>
+
+<p>He saw I was right. It would avoid suspicion, and it would prevent more
+scandal. He withdrew without a word. 'We meet,' I said, 'at ten, at
+King's Cross Station.'</p>
+
+<p>I did not even wait to wash the tears from my eyes. All red as they
+were, I put on my hat and my little brown travelling jacket. I don't
+think I so much as glanced once at the glass. The seconds were precious.
+I saw the Maharajah drive away, with Harold in the dickey, arms crossed,
+imperturbable, Orientally silent. He looked the very counterpart of the
+Rajput by his side. Then I descended the stairs and walked out boldly.
+As I passed through the hall, the servants and the visitors stared at me
+and whispered.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span> They spoke with nods and liftings of the eyebrows. I was
+aware that that morning I had achieved notoriety.</p>
+
+<p>At Piccadilly Circus, I jumped of a sudden into a passing hansom.
+'King's Cross!' I cried, as I mounted the step. 'Drive quick! I have no
+time to spare.' And, as the man drove off, I saw, by a convulsive dart
+of someone across the road, that I had given the slip to a disappointed
+reporter.</p>
+
+<p>At the station I took a first-class ticket for Edinburgh. On the
+platform, the Maharajah and his attendants were waiting. He lifted his
+hat to me, though otherwise he took no overt notice. But I saw his keen
+eyes follow me down the train. Harold, in his Oriental dress, pretended
+not to observe me. One or two porters, and a few curious travellers,
+cast inquiring eyes on the Eastern prince, and made remarks about him to
+one another. 'That's the chap as was up yesterday in the Ashurst will
+kise!' said one lounger to his neighbour. But nobody seemed to look at
+Harold; his subordinate position secured him from curiosity. The
+Maharajah had always two Eastern servants, gorgeously dressed, in
+attendance; he had been a well-known figure in London society, and at
+Lord's and the Oval, for two or three seasons.</p>
+
+<p>'Bloomin' fine cricketer!' one porter observed to his mate as he passed.</p>
+
+<p>'Yuss; not so dusty for a nigger,' the other man replied. 'Fust-rite
+bowler; but, Lord, he can't 'old a candle to good old Ranji.'</p>
+
+<p>As for myself, nobody seemed to recognise me. I set this fact down to
+the fortunate circumstance that the evening papers had published rough
+wood-cuts which professed to be my portrait, and which naturally led the
+public to look out for a brazen-faced, raw-boned, hard-featured
+termagant.</p>
+
+<p>I took my seat in a ladies' compartment by myself. As<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</a></span> the train was
+about to start, Harold strolled up as if casually for a moment. 'You
+think it better so?' he queried, without moving his lips or seeming to
+look at me.</p>
+
+<p>'Decidedly,' I answered. 'Go back to Partab. Don't come near me again
+till we get to Edinburgh. It is dangerous still. The police may at any
+moment hear we have started and stop us half-way; and now that we have
+once committed ourselves to this plan it would be fatal to be
+interrupted before we have got married.'</p>
+
+<p>'You are right,' he cried; 'Lois, you are always right, somehow.'</p>
+
+<p>I wished I could think so myself; but 'twas with serious misgivings that
+I felt the train roll out of the station.</p>
+
+<p>Oh, that long journey north, alone, in a ladies' compartment&mdash;with the
+feeling that Harold was so near, yet so unapproachable: it was an
+endless agony. <i>He</i> had the Maharajah, who loved and admired him, to
+keep him from brooding; but I, left alone, and confined with my own
+fears, conjured up before my eyes every possible misfortune that Heaven
+could send us. I saw clearly now that if we failed in our purpose this
+journey would be taken by everyone for a flight, and would deepen the
+suspicion under which we both laboured. It would make me still more
+obviously a conspirator with Harold.</p>
+
+<p>Whatever happened, we must strain every nerve to reach Scotland in
+safety, and then to get married, in order that Harold might immediately
+surrender himself.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 495px;"><a name="ILL_070" id="ILL_070"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_070.jpg" width="495" height="500" alt="HE TOOK A LONG, CARELESS STARE AT ME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HE TOOK A LONG, CARELESS STARE AT ME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>At York, I noticed with a thrill of terror that a man in plain clothes,
+with the obtrusively unobtrusive air of a detective, looked carefully
+though casually into every carriage. I felt sure he was a spy, because
+of his marked outer jauntiness of demeanour, which hardly masked an
+underlying hang-dog expression of scrutiny. When he reached my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</a></span> place,
+he took a long, careless stare at me&mdash;a seemingly careless stare, which
+was yet brim-full of the keenest observation. Then he paced slowly along
+the line of carriages, with a glance at each, till he arrived just
+opposite the Maharajah's compartment. There he stared hard once more.
+The Maharajah descended; so did Harold and the Hindu attendant, who was
+dressed just like him. The man I took for a detective indulged in a
+frank, long gaze at the unconscious Indian prince, but cast only a hasty
+eye on the two apparent followers. That touch of revelation relieved my
+mind a little. I felt convinced the police were watching<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</a></span> the Maharajah
+and myself, as suspicious persons connected with the case; but they had
+not yet guessed that Harold had disguised himself as one of the two
+invariable Rajput servants.</p>
+
+<p>We steamed on northward. At Newcastle, the same detective strolled, with
+his hands in his pockets, along the train once more, and puffed a cigar
+with the nonchalant air of a sporting gentleman. But I was certain now,
+from the studious unconcern he was anxious to exhibit, that he must be a
+spy upon us. He overdid his mood of careless observation. It was too
+obvious an assumption. Precisely the same thing happened again when we
+pulled up at Berwick. I knew now that we were watched. It would be
+impossible for us to get married at Edinburgh if we were thus closely
+pursued. There was but one chance open; we must leave the train abruptly
+at the first Scotch stopping station.</p>
+
+<p>The detective knew we were booked through for Edinburgh. So much I could
+tell, because I saw him make inquiries of the ticket examiner at York,
+and again at Berwick, and because the ticket-examiner thereupon entered
+a mental note of the fact as he punched my ticket each time: 'Oh,
+Edinburgh, miss? All right'; and then stared at me suspiciously. I could
+tell he had heard of the Ashurst will case. He also lingered long about
+the Maharajah's compartment, and then went back to confer with the
+detective. Thus, putting two and two together, as a woman will, I came
+to the conclusion that the spy did not expect us to leave the train
+before we reached Edinburgh. That told in our favour. Most men trust
+much to just such vague expectations. They form a theory, and then
+neglect the adverse chances. You can only get the better of a skilled
+detective by taking him thus, psychologically and humanly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By this time, I confess, I felt almost like a criminal. Never in my life
+had danger loomed so near&mdash;not even when we returned with the Arabs from
+the oasis. For then we feared for our lives alone; now, we feared for
+our honour.</p>
+
+<p>I drew a card from my case before we left Berwick station, and scribbled
+a few hasty words on it in German. 'We are watched. A detective! If we
+run through to Edinburgh, we shall doubtless be arrested or at least
+impeded. This train will stop at Dunbar for one minute. Just before it
+leaves again, get out as quietly as you can&mdash;at the last moment. I will
+also get out and join you. Let Partab go on; it will excite less
+attention. The scheme I suggest is the only safe plan. If you agree, as
+soon as we have well started from Berwick, shake your handkerchief
+unobtrusively out of your carriage window.'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 217px;"><a name="ILL_071" id="ILL_071"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_071.jpg" width="217" height="500" alt="I BECKONED A PORTER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I BECKONED A PORTER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>I beckoned a porter noiselessly without one word. The detective was now
+strolling along the fore-part of the train, with his back turned towards
+me, peering as he went into all the windows. I gave the porter a
+shilling. 'Take this to a black gentleman in the next carriage but one,'
+I said, in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</a></span> confidential whisper. The porter touched his hat, nodded,
+smiled, and took it.</p>
+
+<p>Would Harold see the necessity for acting on my advice?&mdash; I wondered. I
+gazed out along the train as soon as we had got well clear of Berwick. A
+minute&mdash;two minutes&mdash;three minutes passed; and still no handkerchief. I
+began to despair. He was debating, no doubt. If he refused, all was
+lost, and we were disgraced for ever.</p>
+
+<p>At last, after long waiting, as I stared still along the whizzing line,
+with the smoke in my eyes, and the dust half blinding me, I saw, to my
+intense relief, a handkerchief flutter. It fluttered once, not markedly,
+then a black hand withdrew it. Only just in time, for even as it
+disappeared, the detective's head thrust itself out of a farther window.
+He was not looking for anything in particular, as far as I could
+tell&mdash;just observing the signals. But it gave me a strange thrill to
+think even now we were so nearly defeated.</p>
+
+<p>My next trouble was&mdash;would the train draw up at Dunbar? The 10 A.M. from
+King's Cross is not set down to stop there in Bradshaw, for no
+passengers are booked to or from the station by the day express; but I
+remembered from of old when I lived at Edinburgh, that it used always to
+wait about a minute for some engine-driver's purpose. This doubt filled
+me with fresh fear; did it draw up there still?&mdash;they have accelerated
+the service so much of late years, and abolished so many old accustomed
+stoppages. I counted the familiar stations with my breath held back.
+They seemed so much farther apart than usual. Reston&mdash;Grant's
+House&mdash;Cockburnspath&mdash;Innerwick.</p>
+
+<p>The next was Dunbar. If we rolled past <i>that</i>, then all was lost. We
+could never get married. I trembled and hugged myself.</p>
+
+<p>The engine screamed. Did that mean she was running<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</a></span> through? Oh, how I
+wished I had learned the interpretation of the signals!</p>
+
+<p>Then gradually, gently, we began to slow. Were we slowing to pass the
+station only? No; with a jolt she drew up. My heart gave a bound as I
+read the word 'Dunbar' on the station notice-board.</p>
+
+<p>I rose and waited, with my fingers on the door. Happily it had one of
+those new-fashioned slip-latches which open from inside. No need to
+betray myself prematurely to the detective by a hand displayed on the
+outer handle. I glanced out at him cautiously. His head was thrust
+through his window, and his sloping shoulders revealed the spy, but he
+was looking the other way&mdash;observing the signals, doubtless, to discover
+why we stopped at a place not mentioned in Bradshaw.</p>
+
+<p>Harold's face just showed from another window close by. Too soon or too
+late might either of them be fatal. He glanced inquiry at me. I nodded
+back, 'Now!' The train gave its first jerk, a faint backward jerk,
+indicative of the nascent intention of starting. As it braced itself to
+go on, I jumped out; so did Harold. We faced one another on the platform
+without a word. 'Stand away there:' the station-master cried, in an
+angry voice. The guard waved his green flag. The detective, still
+absorbed on the signals, never once looked back. One second later, we
+were safe at Dunbar, and he was speeding away by the express for
+Edinburgh.</p>
+
+<p>It gave us a breathing space of about an hour.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_072" id="ILL_072"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_072.jpg" width="500" height="497" alt="YOU CAN&#39;T GET OUT HERE, HE SAID, CRUSTILY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">YOU CAN&#39;T GET OUT HERE, HE SAID, CRUSTILY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>For half a minute I could not speak. My heart was in my mouth. I hardly
+even dared to look at Harold. Then the station-master stalked up to us
+with a threatening manner. 'You can't get out here,' he said, crustily,
+in a gruff Scotch voice. 'This train is not timed to set down before
+Edinburgh.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'We <i>have</i> got out,' I answered, taking it upon me to speak for my
+fellow-culprit, the Hindu&mdash;as he was to all seeming. 'The logic of facts
+is with us. We were booked through to Edinburgh, but we wanted to stop
+at Dunbar; and as the train happened to pull up, we thought we needn't
+waste time by going on all that way and then coming back again.'</p>
+
+<p>'Ye should have changed at Berwick,' the station-master said, still
+gruffly, 'and come on by the slow train.' I could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</a></span> see his careful
+Scotch soul was vexed (incidentally) at our extravagance in paying the
+extra fare to Edinburgh and back again.</p>
+
+<p>In spite of agitation, I managed to summon up one of my sweetest
+smiles&mdash;a smile that ere now had melted the hearts of rickshaw coolies
+and of French <i>douaniers</i>. He thawed before it visibly. 'Time was
+important to us,' I said&mdash;oh, he guessed not how important; 'and
+besides, you know, it is so good for the company!'</p>
+
+<p>'That's true,' he answered, mollified. He could not tilt against the
+interests of the North British shareholders. 'But how about yer luggage?
+It'll have gone on to Edinburgh, I'm thinking.'</p>
+
+<p>'We <i>have</i> no luggage,' I answered boldly.</p>
+
+<p>He stared at us both, puckered his brow a moment, and then burst out
+laughing. 'Oh, ay, I see,' he answered, with a comic air of amusement.
+'Well, well, it's none of my business, no doubt, and I will not
+interfere with ye; though why a lady like you&mdash;&mdash;' He glanced curiously
+at Harold.</p>
+
+<p>I saw he had guessed right, and thought it best to throw myself
+unreservedly on his mercy. Time was indeed important. I glanced at the
+station clock. It was not very far from the stroke of six, and we must
+manage to get married before the detective could miss us at Edinburgh,
+where he was due at 6.30.</p>
+
+<p>So I smiled once more, that heart-softening smile. 'We have each our own
+fancies,' I said blushing&mdash;and, indeed (such is the pride of race among
+women), I felt myself blush in earnest at the bare idea that I was
+marrying a black man, in spite of our good Maharajah's kindness. 'He is
+a gentleman, and a man of education and culture.' I thought that
+recommendation ought to tell with a Scotchman. 'We are in sore straits
+now, but our case is a just one. Can you tell<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</a></span> me who in this place is
+most likely to sympathise&mdash;most likely to marry us?'</p>
+
+<p>He looked at me&mdash;and surrendered at discretion. 'I should think anybody
+would marry ye who saw yer pretty face and heard yer sweet voice,' he
+answered. 'But, perhaps, ye'd better present yerself to Mr. Schoolcraft,
+the U.P. minister at Little Kirkton. He was aye soft-hearted.'</p>
+
+<p>'How far from here?' I asked.</p>
+
+<p>'About two miles,' he answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Can we get a trap?'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh ay, there's machines always waiting at the station.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_073" id="ILL_073"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_073.jpg" width="600" height="421" alt="WE TOLD OUR TALE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">WE TOLD OUR TALE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We interviewed a 'machine,' and drove out to Little Kirkton. There, we
+told our tale in the fewest words possible to the obliging and
+good-natured U.P. minister. He looked, as the station-master had said,
+'soft-hearted'; but he dashed our hopes to the ground at once by telling
+us candidly that unless we had had our residence in Scotland for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the marriage, it would not be
+legal. 'If you were Scotch,' he added, 'I could go through the ceremony
+at once, of course; and then you could apply to the sheriff to-night for
+leave to register the marriage in proper form afterward: but as one of
+you is English, and the other I judge'&mdash;he smiled and glanced towards
+Harold&mdash;'an Indian-born subject of Her Majesty, it would be impossible
+for me to do it: the ceremony would be invalid, under Lord Brougham's
+Act, without previous residence.'</p>
+
+<p>This was a terrible blow. I looked away appealingly. 'Harold,' I cried
+in despair, 'do you think we could manage to hide ourselves safely
+anywhere in Scotland for twenty-one days?'</p>
+
+<p>His face fell. 'How could I escape notice? All the world is hunting for
+me. And then the scandal! No matter where you stopped&mdash;however far from
+me&mdash;no, Lois darling, I could never expose you to it.'</p>
+
+<p>The minister glanced from one to the other of us, puzzled. 'Harold?' he
+said, turning over the word on his tongue. 'Harold? That doesn't sound
+like an Indian name, does it? And&mdash;&mdash;' he hesitated, 'you speak
+wonderful English!'</p>
+
+<p>I saw the safest plan was to make a clean breast of it. He looked the
+sort of man one could trust on an emergency. 'You have heard of the
+Ashurst will case?' I said, blurting it out suddenly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'I have seen something about it in the newspapers; yes. But it did not
+interest me: I have not followed it.'</p>
+
+<p>I told him the whole truth; the case against us&mdash;the facts as we knew
+them. Then I added, slowly, 'This is Mr. Harold Tillington, whom they
+accuse of forgery. Does he look like a forger? I want to marry him
+before he is tried. It is the only way by which I can prove my implicit
+trust in him. As soon as we are married, he will give himself up at once
+to the police&mdash;if you wish it, before your eyes. But married we must be.
+<i>Can't</i> you manage it somehow?'</p>
+
+<p>My pleading voice touched him. 'Harold Tillington?' he murmured. 'I know
+of his forebears. Lady Guinevere Tillington's son, is it not? Then you
+must be Younger of Gledcliffe.' For Scotland is a village: everyone in
+it seems to have heard of every other.'</p>
+
+<p>'What does he mean?' I asked. 'Younger of Gledcliffe?' I remembered now
+that the phrase had occurred in Mr. Ashurst's will, though I never
+understood it.</p>
+
+<p>'A Scotch fashion,' Harold answered. 'The heir to a laird is called
+Younger of so-and-so. My father has a small estate of that name in
+Dumfriesshire; a <i>very</i> small estate: I was born and brought up there.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you are a Scotchman?' the minister asked.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes,' Harold answered frankly: 'by remote descent. We are trebly of the
+female line at Gledcliffe; still, I am no doubt more or less Scotch by
+domicile.'</p>
+
+<p>'Younger of Gledcliffe! Oh, yes, that ought certainly to be quite
+sufficient for our purpose. Do you live there?'</p>
+
+<p>'I have been living there lately. I always live there when I'm in
+Britain. It is my only home. I belong to the diplomatic service.'</p>
+
+<p>'But then&mdash;the lady?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'She is unmitigatedly English,' Harold admitted, in a gloomy voice.</p>
+
+<p>'Not quite,' I answered. 'I lived four years in Edinburgh. And I spent
+my holidays there while I was at Girton. I keep my boxes still at my old
+rooms in Maitland Street.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, that will do,' the minister answered, quite relieved; for it was
+clear that our anxiety and the touch of romance in our tale had enlisted
+him in our favour. 'Indeed, now I come to think of it, it suffices for
+the Act if one only of the parties is domiciled in Scotland. And as Mr.
+Tillington lives habitually at Gledcliffe, that settles the question.
+Still, I can do nothing save marry you now by religious service in the
+presence of my servants&mdash;which constitutes what we call an
+ecclesiastical marriage&mdash;it becomes legal if afterwards registered; and
+then you must apply to the sheriff for a warrant to register it. But I
+will do what I can; later on, if you like, you can be re-married by the
+rites of your own Church in England.'</p>
+
+<p>'Are you quite sure our Scotch domicile is good enough in law?' Harold
+asked, still doubtful.</p>
+
+<p>'I can turn it up, if you wish. I have a legal handbook. Before Lord
+Brougham's Act, no formalities were necessary. But the Act was passed to
+prevent Gretna Green marriages. The usual phrase is that such a marriage
+does not hold good unless one or other of the parties either has had his
+or her usual residence in Scotland, or else has lived there for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the date of the marriage. If you
+like, I will wait to consult the authorities.'</p>
+
+<p>'No, thank you,' I cried. 'There is no time to lose. Marry us first, and
+look it up afterwards. "One or other" will do, it seems. Mr. Tillington
+is Scotch enough, I am<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</a></span> sure; he has no address in Britain but
+Gledcliffe: we will rest our claim upon that. Even if the marriage turns
+out invalid, we only remain where we were. This is a preliminary
+ceremony to prove good faith, and to bind us to one another. We can
+satisfy the law, if need be, when we return to England.'</p>
+
+<p>The minister called in his wife and servants, and explained to them
+briefly. He exhorted us and prayed. We gave our solemn consent in legal
+form before two witnesses. Then he pronounced us duly married. In a
+quarter of an hour more, we had made declaration to that effect before
+the sheriff, the witnesses accompanying us, and were formally affirmed
+to be man and wife before the law of Great Britain. I asked if it would
+hold in England as well.</p>
+
+<p>'You couldn't be firmer married,' the sheriff said, with decision, 'by
+the Archbishop of Canterbury in Westminster Abbey.'</p>
+
+<p>Harold turned to the minister. 'Will you send for the police?' he said,
+calmly. 'I wish to inform them that I am the man for whom they are
+looking in the Ashurst will case.'</p>
+
+<p>Our own cabman went to fetch them. It was a terrible moment. But Harold
+sat in the sheriff's study and waited, as if nothing unusual were
+happening. He talked freely but quietly. Never in my life had I felt so
+proud of him.</p>
+
+<p>At last the police came, much inflated with the dignity of so great a
+capture, and took down our statement. 'Do you give yourself in charge on
+a confession of forgery?' the superintendent asked, as Harold ended.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 285px;"><a name="ILL_074" id="ILL_074"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_074.jpg" width="285" height="500" alt="I HAVE FOUND A CLUE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I HAVE FOUND A CLUE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Certainly not,' Harold answered. 'I have not committed forgery. But I
+do not wish to skulk or hide myself. I understand a warrant is out
+against me in London. I have come to Scotland, hurriedly, for the sake
+of getting<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</a></span> married, not to escape apprehension. I am here, openly,
+under my own name. I tell you the facts; 'tis for you to decide; if you
+choose, you can arrest me.'</p>
+
+<p>The superintendent conferred for some time in another room with the
+sheriff. Then he returned to the study. 'Very well, sir,' he said, in a
+respectful tone, 'I arrest you.'</p>
+
+<p>So that was the beginning of our married life. More than ever, I felt
+sure I could trust in Harold.</p>
+
+<p>The police decided, after hearing by telegram from London, that we must
+go up at once by the night express, which they stopped for the purpose.
+They were forced to divide us. I took the sleeping-car; Harold travelled
+with two constables in a ordinary carriage. Strange to say,
+notwithstanding all this, so great was our relief from the tension of
+our flight, that we both slept soundly.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning we arrived in London, Harold guarded.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</a></span> The police had
+arranged that the case should come up at Bow Street that afternoon. It
+was not an ideal honeymoon, and yet, I was somehow happy.</p>
+
+<p>At King's Cross, they took him away from me. Still, I hardly cried. All
+the way up in the train, whenever I was awake, an idea had been haunting
+me&mdash;a possible clue to this trickery of Lord Southminster's. Petty
+details cropped up and fell into their places. I began to unravel it all
+now. I had an inkling of a plan to set Harold right again.</p>
+
+<p>The will we had proved&mdash;&mdash;but I must not anticipate.</p>
+
+<p>When we parted, Harold kissed me on the forehead, and murmured rather
+sadly, 'Now, I suppose it's all up. Lois, I must go. These rogues have
+been too much for us.'</p>
+
+<p>'Not a bit of it,' I answered, new hope growing stronger and stronger
+within me. 'I see a way out. I have found a clue. I believe, dear
+Harold, the right will still be vindicated.'</p>
+
+<p>And red-eyed as I was, I jumped into a hansom, and called to the cabman
+to drive at once to Lady Georgina's.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII</h2>
+
+<h3>THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE</h3>
+
+<p>'Is Lady Georgina at home?' The discreet man-servant in sober black
+clothes eyed me suspiciously. 'No, miss,' he answered. 'That is to
+say&mdash;no, ma'am. Her ladyship is still at Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's&mdash;the
+late Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst, I mean&mdash;in Park Lane North. You know the
+number, ma'am?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I know it,' I replied, with a gasp; for this was indeed a triumph.
+My one fear had been lest Lord Southminster should already have taken
+possession&mdash;why, you will see hereafter; and it relieved me to learn
+that Lady Georgina was still at hand to guard my husband's interests.
+She had been living at the house, practically, since her brother's
+death. I drove round with all speed, and flung myself into my dear old
+lady's arms.</p>
+
+<p>'Kiss me,' I cried, flushed. 'I am your niece!' But she knew it already,
+for our movements had been fully reported by this time (with picturesque
+additions) in the morning papers. Imagination, ill-developed in the
+English race, seems to concentrate itself in the lower order of
+journalists.</p>
+
+<p>She kissed me on both cheeks with unwonted tenderness. 'Lois,' she
+cried, with tears in her eyes, 'you're a brick!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</a></span> It was not exactly
+poetical at such a moment, but from her it meant more than much gushing
+phraseology.</p>
+
+<p>'And you're here in possession!' I murmured.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_075" id="ILL_075"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_075.jpg" width="600" height="470" alt="I&#39;VE HELD THE FORT BY MAIN FORCE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">I&#39;VE HELD THE FORT BY MAIN FORCE.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The Cantankerous Old Lady nodded. She was in her element, I must admit.
+She dearly loved a row&mdash;above all, a family row; but to be in the thick
+of a family row, and to feel herself in the right, with the law against
+her&mdash;that was joy such as Lady Georgina had seldom before experienced.
+'Yes, dear,' she burst out volubly, 'I'm in possession, thank Heaven.
+And what's more, they won't oust me without a legal process. I've been
+here, off and on, you know, ever since poor dear Marmy died, looking
+after things for Harold;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</a></span> and I shall look after them still, till Bertie
+Southminster succeeds in ejecting me, which won't be easy. Oh, I've held
+the fort by main force, I can tell you; held it like a Trojan. Bertie's
+in a precious great hurry to move in, I can see; but I won't allow him.
+He's been down here this morning, fatuously blustering, and trying to
+carry the post by storm, with a couple of policemen.'</p>
+
+<p>'Policemen!' I cried. 'To turn you out?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, my dear, policemen: but (the Lord be praised) I was too much for
+him. There are legal formalities to fulfil yet; and I won't budge an
+inch, Lois, not one inch, my dear, till he's fulfilled every one of
+them. Mark my words, child, that boy's up to some devilry.'</p>
+
+<p>'He is,' I answered.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, he wouldn't be in such a rampaging hurry to get in&mdash;being as lazy
+as he's empty-headed&mdash;takes after Gwendoline in that&mdash;if he hadn't some
+excellent reason for wishing to take possession: and depend upon it, the
+reason is that he wants to get hold of something or other that's
+Harold's. But he sha'n't if I can help it; and, thank my stars, I'm a
+dour woman to reckon with. If he comes, he comes over my old bones,
+child. I've been overhauling everything of Marmy's, I can tell you, to
+checkmate the boy if I can; but I've found nothing yet, and till I've
+satisfied myself on that point, I'll hold the fort still, if I have to
+barricade that pasty-faced scoundrel of a nephew of mine out by piling
+the furniture against the front door&mdash; I will, as sure as my name's
+Georgina Fawley!'</p>
+
+<p>'I know you will, dear,' I assented, kissing her, 'and so I shall
+venture to leave you, while I go out to institute another little
+enquiry.'</p>
+
+<p>'What enquiry?'</p>
+
+<p>I shook my head. 'It's only a surmise,' I said, hesitating.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</a></span> 'I'll tell
+you about it later. I've had time to think while I've been coming back
+in the train, and I've thought of many things. Mount guard till I
+return, and mind you don't let Lord Southminster have access to
+anything.'</p>
+
+<p>'I'll shoot him first, dear.' And I believe she meant it.</p>
+
+<p>I drove on in the same cab to Harold's solicitor. There I laid my fresh
+doubts at once before him. He rubbed his bony hands. 'You've hit it!' he
+cried, charmed. 'My dear madam, you've hit it! I never did like that
+will. I never did like the signatures, the witnesses, the look of it.
+But what<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</a></span> could I do? Mr. Tillington propounded it. Of course it wasn't
+my business to go dead against my own client.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then you doubted Harold's honour, Mr. Hayes?' I cried, flushing.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a name="ILL_076" id="ILL_076"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_076.jpg" width="600" height="489" alt="NEVER! HE ANSWERED. NEVER!" title="" />
+<span class="caption">NEVER! HE ANSWERED. NEVER!</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Never!' he answered. 'Never! I felt sure there must be some mistake
+somewhere, but not any trickery on&mdash;your husband's part. Now, <i>you</i>
+supply the right clue. We must look into this, immediately.'</p>
+
+<p>He hurried round with me at once in the same cab to the court. The
+incriminated will had been 'impounded,' as they call it; but, under
+certain restrictions, and subject to the closest surveillance, I was
+allowed to examine it with my husband's solicitor, before the eyes of
+the authorities. I looked at it long with the naked eye and also with a
+small pocket lens. The paper, as I had noted before, was the same kind
+of foolscap as that which I had been in the habit of using at my office
+in Florence; and the typewriting&mdash;was it mine? The longer I looked at
+it, the more I doubted it.</p>
+
+<p>After a careful examination I turned round to our solicitor. 'Mr.
+Hayes,' I said, firmly, having arrived at my conclusion, 'this is <i>not</i>
+the document I type-wrote at Florence.'</p>
+
+<p>'How do you know?' he asked. 'A different machine? Some small
+peculiarity in the shape of the letters?'</p>
+
+<p>'No, the rogue who typed this will was too cunning for that. He didn't
+allow himself to be foiled by such a scholar's mate. It is written with
+a Spread Eagle, the same sort of machine precisely as my own. I know the
+type perfectly. But&mdash;&mdash;' I hesitated.</p>
+
+<p>'But what?'</p>
+
+<p>'Well, it is difficult to explain. There is character in typewriting,
+just as there is in handwriting, only, of course, not quite so much of
+it. Every operator is liable to his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</a></span> own peculiar tricks and blunders.
+If I had some of my own typewritten manuscript here to show you, I could
+soon make that evident.'</p>
+
+<p>'I can easily believe it. Individuality runs through all we do, however
+seemingly mechanical. But are the points of a sort that you could make
+clear in court to the satisfaction of a jury?'</p>
+
+<p>'I think so. Look here, for example. Certain letters get habitually
+mixed up in typewriting; <i>c</i> and <i>v</i> stand next one another on the
+keyboard of the machine, and the person who typed this draft sometimes
+strikes a <i>c</i> instead of a <i>v</i>, or <i>vice vers&acirc;</i>. I never do that. The
+letters I tend to confuse are <i>s</i> and <i>w</i>, or else <i>e</i> and <i>r</i>, which
+also come very near one another in the arbitrary arrangement. Besides,
+when I type-wrote the original of this will, I made no errors at all; I
+took such very great pains about it.'</p>
+
+<p>'And this person did make errors?'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes; struck the wrong letter first, and then corrected it often by
+striking another rather hard on top of it. See, this was a <i>v</i> to begin
+with, and he turned it into a <i>c</i>. Besides, the hand that wrote this
+will is heavier than mine: it comes down <i>thump</i>, <i>thump</i>, <i>thump</i>,
+while mine glides lightly. And the hyphens are used with a space between
+them, and the character of the punctuation is not exactly as I make it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Still,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'we have nothing but your word. I'm afraid,
+in such a case, we could never induce a jury to accept your unsupported
+evidence.'</p>
+
+<p>'I don't want them to accept it,' I answered. 'I am looking this up for
+my own satisfaction. I want to know, first, who wrote this will. And of
+one thing I am quite clear: it is <i>not</i> the document I drew up for Mr.
+Ashurst. Just look at that <i>x</i>. The <i>x</i> alone is conclusive. My
+typewriter had the upper right-hand stroke of the small <i>x</i> badly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</a></span>
+formed, or broken, while this one is perfect. I remember it well,
+because I used always to improve all my lower-case <i>x</i>'s with a pen when
+I re-read and corrected. I see their dodge clearly now. It is a most
+diabolical conspiracy. Instead of forging a will in Lord Southminster's
+favour, they have substituted a forgery for the real will, and then
+managed to make my poor Harold prove it.'</p>
+
+<p>'In that case, no doubt, they have destroyed the real one, the
+original,' Mr. Hayes put in.</p>
+
+<p>'I don't think so,' I answered, after a moment's deliberation. 'From
+what I know of Mr. Ashurst, I don't believe it is likely he would have
+left his will about carelessly anywhere. He was a secretive man, fond of
+mysteries and mystifications. He would be sure to conceal it. Besides,
+Lady Georgina and Harold have been taking care of everything in the
+house ever since he died.'</p>
+
+<p>'But,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'the forger of this document, supposing it to
+be forged, must have had access to the original, since you say the terms
+of the two are identical; only the signatures are forgeries. And if he
+saw and copied it, why might he not also have destroyed it?'</p>
+
+<p>A light flashed across me all at once. 'The forger <i>did</i> see the
+original,' I cried, 'but not the fair copy. I have it all now! I detect
+their trick! It comes back to me vividly! When I had finished typing the
+copy at Florence from my first rough draft, which I had taken down on
+the machine before Mr. Ashurst's eyes, I remember now that I threw the
+original into the waste-paper basket. It must have been there that
+evening when Higginson called and asked for the will to take it back to
+Mr. Ashurst. He called for it, no doubt, hoping to open the packet
+before he delivered it and make a copy of the document for this very
+purpose. But I refused to let him have it. Before he saw<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</a></span> me, however,
+he had been left by himself for ten minutes in the office; for I
+remember coming out to him and finding him there alone: and during that
+ten minutes, being what he is, you may be sure he fished out the rough
+draft and appropriated it!'</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_077" id="ILL_077"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_077.jpg" width="500" height="479" alt="WE SHALL HAVE HIM IN OUR POWER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">WE SHALL HAVE HIM IN OUR POWER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'That is more than likely,' my solicitor nodded. 'You are tracking him
+to his lair. We shall have him in our power.'</p>
+
+<p>I grew more and more excited as the whole cunning plot unravelled itself
+mentally step by step before me. 'He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</a></span> must then have gone to Lord
+Southminster,' I went on, 'and told him of the legacy he expected from
+Mr. Ashurst. It was five hundred pounds&mdash;a mere trifle to Higginson, who
+plays for thousands. So he must have offered to arrange matters for Lord
+Southminster if Southminster would consent to make good that sum and a
+great deal more to him. That odious little cad told me himself on the
+<i>Jumna</i> they were engaged in pulling off "a big <i>coup</i>" between them. He
+thought then I would marry him, and that he would so secure my
+connivance in his plans; but who would marry such a piece of moist clay?
+Besides, I could never have taken anyone but Harold.' Then another clue
+came home to me. 'Mr. Hayes,' I cried, jumping at it, 'Higginson, who
+forged this will, never saw the real document itself at all; he saw only
+the draft: for Mr. Ashurst altered one word <i>viva voce</i> in the original
+at the last moment, and I made a pencil note of it on my cuff at the
+time: and see, it isn't here, though I inserted it in the final clean
+copy of the will&mdash;the word 'especially.' It grows upon me more and more
+each minute that the real instrument is hidden somewhere in Mr.
+Ashurst's house&mdash;Harold's house&mdash;our house; and that <i>because</i> it is
+there Lord Southminster is so indecently anxious to oust his aunt and
+take instant possession.'</p>
+
+<p>'In that case,' Mr. Hayes remarked, 'we had better go back to Lady
+Georgina without one minute's delay, and, while she still holds the
+house, institute a thorough search for it.'</p>
+
+<p>No sooner said than done. We jumped again into our cab and started. As
+we drove back, Mr. Hayes asked me where I thought we were most likely to
+find it.</p>
+
+<p>'In a secret drawer in Mr. Ashurst's desk,' I answered, by a flash of
+instinct, without a second's hesitation.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'How do you know there's a secret drawer?'</p>
+
+<p>'I don't know it. I infer it from my general knowledge of Mr. Ashurst's
+character. He loved secret drawers, ciphers, cryptograms,
+mystery-mongering.'</p>
+
+<p>'But it was in that desk that your husband found the forged document,'
+the lawyer objected.</p>
+
+<p>Once more I had a flash of inspiration or intuition. 'Because White, Mr.
+Ashurst's valet, had it in readiness in his possession,' I answered,
+'and hid it there, in the most obvious and unconcealed place he could
+find, as soon as the breath was out of his master's body. I remember now
+Lord Southminster gave himself away to some extent in that matter. The
+hateful little creature isn't really clever enough, for all his
+cunning,&mdash;and with Higginson to back him,&mdash;to mix himself up in such
+tricks as forgery. He told me at Aden he had had a telegram from
+"Marmy's valet," to report progress; and he received another, the night
+Mr. Ashurst died, at Moozuffernuggar. Depend upon it, White was more or
+less in this plot; Higginson left him the forged will when they started
+for India; and, as soon as Mr. Ashurst died, White hid it where Harold
+was bound to find it.'</p>
+
+<p>'If so,' Mr. Hayes answered, 'that's well; we have something to go upon.
+The more of them, the better. There is safety in numbers&mdash;for the honest
+folk. I never knew three rogues hold long together, especially when
+threatened with a criminal prosecution. Their confederacy breaks down
+before the chance of punishment. Each tries to screen himself by
+betraying the others.'</p>
+
+<p>'Higginson was the soul of this plot,' I went on. 'Of that you may be
+sure. He's a wily old fox, but we'll run him to earth yet. The more I
+think of it, the more I feel sure, from what I know of Mr. Ashurst's
+character, he would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</a></span> never have put that will in so exposed a place as
+the one where Harold says he found it.'</p>
+
+<p>We drew up at the door of the disputed house just in time for the siege.
+Mr. Hayes and I walked in. We found Lady Georgina face to face with Lord
+Southminster. The opposing forces were still at the stage of
+preliminaries of warfare.</p>
+
+<p>'Look heah,' the pea-green young man was observing, in his drawling
+voice, as we entered; 'it's no use your talking, deah Georgey. This
+house is mine, and I won't have you meddling with it.'</p>
+
+<p>'This house is not yours, you odious little scamp,' his aunt retorted,
+raising her shrill voice some notes higher than usual; 'and while I can
+hold a stick you shall not come inside it.'</p>
+
+<p>'Very well, then; you drive me to hostilities, don't yah know. I'm sorry
+to show disrespect to your gray hairs&mdash;if any&mdash;but I shall be obliged to
+call in the police to eject yah.'</p>
+
+<p>'Call them in if you like,' I answered, interposing between them. 'Go
+out and get them! Mr. Hayes, while he's gone, send for a carpenter to
+break open the back of Mr. Ashurst's escritoire.'</p>
+
+<p>'A carpentah?' he cried, turning several degrees whiter than his pasty
+wont. 'What for? A carpentah?'</p>
+
+<p>I spoke distinctly. 'Because we have reason to believe Mr. Ashurst's
+real will is concealed in this house in a secret drawer, and because the
+keys were in the possession of White, whom we believe to be your
+accomplice in this shallow conspiracy.'</p>
+
+<p>He gasped and looked alarmed. 'No, you don't,' he cried, stepping
+briskly forward. 'You don't, I tell yah! Break open Marmy's desk! Why,
+hang it all, it's my property.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'We shall see about that after we've broken it open,' I answered grimly.
+'Here, this screw-driver will do. The back's not strong. Now, your help,
+Mr. Hayes&mdash;one, two, three; we can prise it apart between us.'</p>
+
+<p>Lord Southminster rushed up and tried to prevent us. But Lady Georgina,
+seizing both wrists, held him tight as in a vice with her dear skinny
+old hands. He writhed and struggled all in vain: he could not escape
+her. 'I've often spanked you, Bertie,' she cried, 'and if you attempt to
+interfere, I'll spank you again; that's the long and the short of it!'</p>
+
+<p>He broke from her and rushed out, to call the police, I believe, and
+prevent our desecration of pooah Marmy's property.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 230px;"><a name="ILL_078" id="ILL_078"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_078.jpg" width="230" height="500" alt="VICTORY." title="" />
+<span class="caption">VICTORY.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Inside the first shell were several locked drawers, and two or three
+open ones, out of one of which Harold had fished the false will.
+Instinct taught me somehow that the central drawer on the left-hand side
+was the compartment behind which lay the secret receptacle. I prised it
+apart and peered about inside it. Presently I saw a slip-panel,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</a></span> which I
+touched with one finger. The pigeon-hole flew open and disclosed a
+narrow slit I clutched at something&mdash;the will! Ho, victory! the will! I
+raised it aloft with a wild shout. Not a doubt of it! The real, the
+genuine document!</p>
+
+<p>We turned it over and read it. It was my own fair copy, written at
+Florence, and bearing all the small marks of authenticity about it which
+I had pointed out to Mr. Hayes as wanting to the forged and impounded
+document. Fortunately, Lady Georgina and four of the servants had stood
+by throughout this scene, and had watched our demeanour, as well as Lord
+Southminster's.</p>
+
+<p>We turned next to the signatures. The principal one was clearly Mr.
+Ashurst's&mdash; I knew it at once&mdash;his legible fat hand, 'Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst.' And then the witnesses? They fairly took our breath away.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, Higginson's sister isn't one of them at all,' Mr. Hayes cried,
+astonished.</p>
+
+<p>A flush of remorse came over me. I saw it all now. I had misjudged that
+poor woman! She had the misfortune to be a rogue's sister, but, as
+Harold had said, was herself a most respectable and blameless person.
+Higginson must have forged her name to the document; that was all; and
+she had naturally sworn that she never signed it. He knew her honesty.
+It was a master-stroke of rascality.</p>
+
+<p>'The other one isn't here, either,' I exclaimed, growing more puzzled.
+'The waiter at the hotel! Why, that's another forgery! Higginson must
+have waited till the man was safely dead, and then used him similarly.
+It was all very clever. Now, who are these people who really witnessed
+it?'</p>
+
+<p>'The first one,' Mr. Hayes said, examining the handwriting, 'is Sir
+Roger Bland, the Dorsetshire baronet: he's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</a></span> dead, poor fellow; but he
+was at Florence at the time, and I can answer for his signature. He was
+a client of mine, and died at Mentone. The second is Captain Richards,
+of the Mounted Police: he's living still, but he's away in South
+Africa.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then they risked his turning up?'</p>
+
+<p>'If they knew who the real witnesses were at all&mdash;which is doubtful. You
+see, as you say, they may have seen the rough draft only.'</p>
+
+<p>'Higginson would know,' I answered. 'He was with Mr. Ashurst at Florence
+at the time, and he would take good care to keep a watch upon his
+movements. In my belief, it was he who suggested this whole plot to Lord
+Southminster.'</p>
+
+<p>'Of course it was,' Lady Georgina put in. 'That's absolutely certain.
+Bertie's a rogue as well as a fool: but he's too great a fool to invent
+a clever roguery, and too great a knave not to join in it foolishly when
+anybody else takes the pains to invent it.'</p>
+
+<p>'And it <i>was</i> a clever roguery,' Mr. Hayes interposed. 'An ordinary
+rascal would have forged a later will in Lord Southminster's favour and
+run the risk of detection; Higginson had the acuteness to forge a will
+exactly like the real one, and to let your husband bear the burden of
+the forgery. It was as sagacious as it was ruthless.'</p>
+
+<p>'The next point,' I said, 'will be for us to prove it.'</p>
+
+<p>At that moment the bell rang, and one of the house-servants&mdash;all puzzled
+by this conflict of interests&mdash;came in with a telegram, which he handed
+me on a salver. I broke it open, without glancing at the envelope. Its
+contents baffled me: 'My address is Hotel Bristol, Paris; name as usual.
+Send me a thousand pounds on account at once. I can't afford to wait. No
+shillyshallying.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The message was unsigned. For a moment, I couldn't imagine who sent it,
+or what it was driving at.</p>
+
+<p>Then I took up the envelope. 'Viscount Southminster, 24 Park Lane North,
+London.'</p>
+
+<p>My heart gave a jump. I saw in a second that chance, or Providence, had
+delivered the conspirators into my hands that day. The telegram was from
+Higginson! I had opened it by accident.</p>
+
+<p>It was obvious what had happened. Lord Southminster must have written to
+him on the result of the trial, and told him he meant to take possession
+of his uncle's house immediately. Higginson had acted on that hint, and
+addressed his telegram where he thought it likely Lord Southminster
+would receive it earliest. I had opened it in error, and that, too, was
+fortunate, for even in dealing with such a pack of scoundrels, it would
+never have occurred to me to violate somebody else's correspondence had
+I not thought it was addressed to me. But having arrived at the truth
+thus unintentionally, I had, of course, no scruples about making full
+use of my information.</p>
+
+<p>I showed the despatch at once to Lady Georgina and Mr. Hayes. They
+recognised its importance. 'What next?' I inquired. 'Time presses. At
+half-past three Harold comes up for examination at Bow Street.'</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Hayes was ready with an apt expedient. 'Ring the bell for Mr.
+Ashurst's valet,' he said, quietly. 'The moment has now arrived when we
+can begin to set these conspirators by the ears. As soon as they learn
+that we know all, they will be eager to inform upon one another.'</p>
+
+<p>I rang the bell. 'Send up White,' I said. 'We wish to speak to him.'</p>
+
+<p>The valet stole up, self-accused, a timid, servile creature, rubbing his
+hands nervously, and suspecting mischief. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</a></span> was a rat in trouble. He
+had thin brown hair, neatly brushed and plastered down, so as to make it
+look still thinner, and his face was the average narrow cunning face of
+the dishonest man-servant. It had an ounce of wile in it to a pound or
+two of servility. He seemed just the sort of rogue meanly to join in an
+underhand conspiracy, and then meanly to back out of it. You could read
+at a glance that his principle in life was to save his own bacon.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_079" id="ILL_079"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_079.jpg" width="500" height="427" alt="YOU WISHED TO SEE ME, SIR?" title="" />
+<span class="caption">YOU WISHED TO SEE ME, SIR?</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>He advanced, fumbling his hands all the time, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</a></span> smiling and fawning.
+'You wished to see me, sir?' he murmured, in a deprecatory voice,
+looking sideways at Lady Georgina and me, but addressing the lawyer.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, White, I wished to see you. I have a question to ask you. <i>Who</i>
+put the forged will in Mr. Ashurst's desk? Was it you, or some other
+person?'</p>
+
+<p>The question terrified him. He changed colour and gasped. But he rubbed
+his hands harder than ever and affected a sickly smile. 'Oh, sir, how
+should <i>I</i> know, sir? <i>I</i> had nothing to do with it. I suppose&mdash;it was
+Mr. Tillington.'</p>
+
+<p>Our lawyer pounced upon him like a hawk on a titmouse. 'Don't
+prevaricate with me, sir,' he said, sternly. 'If you do, it may be worse
+for you. This case has assumed quite another aspect. It is you and your
+associates who will be placed in the dock, not Mr. Tillington. You had
+better speak the truth; it is your one chance, I warn you. Lie to me,
+and instead of calling you as a witness for our case, I shall include
+you in the indictment.'</p>
+
+<p>White looked down uneasily at his shoes, and cowered. 'Oh, sir, I don't
+understand you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Yes you do. You understand me, and you know I mean it. Wriggling is
+useless; we intend to prosecute. We have unravelled this vile plot. We
+know the whole truth. Higginson and Lord Southminster forged a will
+between them&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, sir, <i>not</i> Lord Southminster! His lordship, I'm sure&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Hayes's keen eye had noted the subtle shade of distinction and
+admission. But he said nothing openly. 'Well, then, Higginson forged,
+and Lord Southminster accepted, a false will, which purported to be Mr.
+Marmaduke Ashurst's. Now, follow me clearly. That will could not have
+been put<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</a></span> into the escritoire during Mr. Ashurst's life, for there would
+have been risk of his discovering it. It must, therefore, have been put
+there afterward. The moment he was dead, you, or somebody else with your
+consent and connivance, slipped it into the escritoire; and you
+afterwards showed Mr. Tillington the place where you had set it or seen
+it set, leading him to believe it was Mr. Ashurst's will, and so
+involved him in all this trouble. Note that that was a felonious act. We
+accuse you of felony. Do you mean to confess, and give evidence on our
+behalf, or will you force me to send for a policeman to arrest you?'</p>
+
+<p>The cur hesitated still. 'Oh, sir,' drawing back, and fumbling his hands
+on his breast, 'you don't mean it.'</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Hayes was prompt. 'Hesslegrave, go for a policeman.'</p>
+
+<p>That curt sentence brought the rogue on his marrow-bones at once. He
+clasped his hands and debated inwardly. 'If I tell you all I know,' he
+said, at last, looking about him with an air of abject terror, as if he
+thought Lord Southminster or Higginson would hear him, 'will you promise
+not to prosecute me?' His tone became insinuating. 'For a hundred
+pounds, I could find the real will for you. You'd better close with me.
+To-day is the last chance. As soon as his lordship comes in, he'll hunt
+it up and destroy it.'</p>
+
+<p>I flourished it before him, and pointed with one hand to the broken
+desk, which he had not yet observed in his craven agitation.</p>
+
+<p>'We do not need your aid,' I answered. 'We have found the will,
+ourselves. Thanks to Lady Georgina, it is safe till this minute.'</p>
+
+<p>'And to me,' he put in, cringing, and trying after his kind, to curry
+favour with the winners at the last moment. 'It's all <i>my</i> doing, my
+lady! I wouldn't destroy it. His<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_323" id="Page_323">[Pg 323]</a></span> lordship offered me a hundred pounds
+more to break open the back of the desk at night, while your ladyship
+was asleep, and burn the thing quietly. But I told him he might do his
+own dirty work if he wanted it done. It wasn't good enough while your
+ladyship was here in possession. Besides, I wanted the right will
+preserved, for I thought things might turn up so; and I wouldn't stand
+by and see a gentleman like Mr. Tillington, as has always behaved well
+to me, deprived of his inheritance.'</p>
+
+<p>'Which is why you conspired with Lord Southminster to rob him of it, and
+to send him to prison for Higginson's crime,' I interposed calmly.</p>
+
+<p>'Then you confess you put the forged will there?' Mr. Hayes said,
+getting to business.</p>
+
+<p>White looked about him helplessly. He missed his headpiece, the
+instigator of the plot. 'Well, it was like this, my lady,' he began,
+turning to Lady Georgina, and wriggling to gain time. 'You see, his
+lordship and Mr. Higginson&mdash;&mdash;' he twirled his thumbs and tried to
+invent something plausible.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina swooped. 'No rigmarole!' she said, sharply. 'Do you
+confess you put it there or do you not&mdash;reptile?' Her vehemence startled
+him.</p>
+
+<p>'Yes, I confess I put it there,' he said at last, blinking. 'As soon as
+the breath was out of Mr. Ashurst's body I put it there.' He began to
+whimper. 'I'm a poor man with a wife and family, sir,' he went on,
+'though in Mr. Ashurst's time I always kep' that quiet; and his lordship
+offered to pay me well for the job; and when you're paid well for a job
+yourself, sir&mdash;&mdash;'</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Hayes waved him off with one imperious hand. 'Sit down in the corner
+there, man, and don't move or utter another word,' he said, sternly,
+'until I order<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_324" id="Page_324">[Pg 324]</a></span> you. You will be in time still for me to produce at Bow
+Street.'</p>
+
+<p>Just at that moment, Lord Southminster swaggered back, accompanied by a
+couple of unwilling policemen. 'Oh, I say,' he cried, bursting in and
+staring around him, jubilant. 'Look heah, Georgey, <i>are</i> you going
+quietly, or must I ask these coppahs to evict you?' He was wreathed in
+smiles now, and had evidently been fortifying himself with brandies and
+soda.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina rose in her wrath. 'Yes, I'll go if you wish it, Bertie,'
+she answered, with calm irony. 'I'll leave the house as soon as you
+like&mdash;for the present&mdash;till we come back again with Harold and <i>his</i>
+policemen to evict you. This house is Harold's. Your game is played,
+boy.' She spoke slowly. 'We have found the other will&mdash;we have
+discovered Higginson's present address in Paris&mdash;and we know from White
+how he and you arranged this little conspiracy.'</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 500px;"><a name="ILL_080" id="ILL_080"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_080.jpg" width="500" height="432" alt="WELL, THIS IS A FAIR KNOCK-OUT, HE EJACULATED." title="" />
+<span class="caption">WELL, THIS IS A FAIR KNOCK-OUT, HE EJACULATED.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>She rapped out each clause in this last accusing sentence with
+deliberate effect, like so many pistol-shots. Each bullet hit home. The
+pea-green young man, drawing back and staring, stroked his shadowy
+moustache with feeble fingers in undisguised astonishment. Then he
+dropped into a chair and fixed his gaze blankly on Lady Georgina. 'Well,
+this is a fair knock-out,' he ejaculated, fatuously disconcerted. 'I
+wish Higginson was heah. I really don't quite know what to do without
+him. That fellah had squared it all up so neatly, don't yah know, that I
+thought there couldn't be any sort of hitch in the proceedings.'</p>
+
+<p>'You reckoned without Lois,' Lady Georgina said, calmly.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah, Miss Cayley&mdash;that's true. I mean, Mrs. Tillington. Yaas, yaas, I
+know, she's a doosid clevah person&mdash;for a woman,&mdash;now isn't she?'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_325" id="Page_325">[Pg 325]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>It was impossible to take this flabby creature seriously, even as a
+criminal. Lady Georgina's lips relaxed. 'Doosid clever,' she admitted,
+looking at me almost tenderly.</p>
+
+<p>'But not quite so clevah, don't yah know, as Higginson!'</p>
+
+<p>'There you make your blooming little erraw,' Mr. Hayes burst in,
+adopting one of Lord Southminster's favourite witticisms&mdash;the sort of
+witticism that improves, like poetry, by frequent repetition.
+'Policemen, you may go into the next room and wait: this is a family
+affair; we have no immediate need of you.'</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, certainly,' Lord Southminster echoed, much relieved. 'Very propah
+sentiment! Most undesirable that the constables should mix themselves up
+in a family mattah like this. Not the place for inferiahs!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_326" id="Page_326">[Pg 326]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Then why introduce them?' Lady Georgina burst out, turning on him.</p>
+
+<p>He smiled his fatuous smile. 'That's just what I say,' he answered. 'Why
+the jooce introduce them? But don't snap my head off!'</p>
+
+<p>The policemen withdrew respectfully, glad to be relieved of this
+unpleasant business, where they could gain no credit, and might possibly
+involve themselves in a charge of assault. Lord Southminster rose with a
+benevolent grin, and looked about him pleasantly. The brandies and soda
+had endowed him with irrepressible cheerfulness.</p>
+
+<p>'Well?' Lady Georgina murmured.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, I think I'll leave now, Georgey. You've trumped my ace, yah know.
+Nasty trick of White to go and round on a fellah. I don't like the turn
+this business is taking. Seems to me, the only way I have left to get
+out of it is&mdash;to turn Queen's evidence.'</p>
+
+<p>Lady Georgina planted herself firmly against the door. 'Bertie,' she
+cried, 'no, you don't&mdash;not till we've got what we want out of you!'</p>
+
+<p>He gazed at her blandly. His face broke once more into an imbecile
+smile. 'You were always a rough 'un, Georgey. Your hand did sting! Well,
+what do you want now? We've each played our cards, and you needn't cut
+up rusty over it&mdash;especially when you're winning! Hang it all, I wish I
+had Higginson heah to tackle you!'</p>
+
+<p>'If you go to see the Treasury people, or the Solicitor-General, or the
+Public Prosecutor, or whoever else it may be,' Lady Georgina said,
+stoutly, 'Mr. Hayes must go with you. We've trumped your ace, as you
+say, and we mean to take advantage of it. And then you must trundle
+yourself down to Bow Street afterwards, confess the whole truth, and set
+Harold at liberty.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_327" id="Page_327">[Pg 327]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Oh, I say now, Georgey! The whole truth! the whole blooming truth!
+That's really what I call humiliating a fellah!'</p>
+
+<p>'If you don't, we arrest you this minute&mdash;fourteen years' imprisonment!'</p>
+
+<p>'Fourteen yeahs?' He wiped his forehead. 'Oh, I say. How doosid
+uncomfortable. I was nevah much good at doing anything by the sweat of
+my brow. I ought to have lived in the Garden of Eden. Georgey, you're
+hard on a chap when he's down on his luck. It would be confounded cruel
+to send me to fourteen yeahs at Portland.'</p>
+
+<p>'You would have sent my husband to it,' I broke in, angrily, confronting
+him.</p>
+
+<p>'What? You too, Miss Cayley?&mdash; I mean Mrs. Tillington. Don't look at me
+like that. Tigahs aren't in it.'</p>
+
+<p>His jauntiness disarmed us. However wicked he might be, one felt it
+would be ridiculous to imprison this schoolboy. A sound flogging and a
+month's deprivation of wine and cigarettes was the obvious punishment
+designed for him by nature.</p>
+
+<p>'You must go down to the police-court and confess this whole
+conspiracy,' Lady Georgina went on after a pause, as sternly as she was
+able. 'I prefer, if we can, to save the family&mdash;even you, Bertie. But I
+can't any longer save the family honour&mdash; I can only save Harold's. You
+must help me to do that; and then, you must give me your solemn
+promise&mdash;in writing&mdash;to leave England for ever, and go to live in South
+Africa.'</p>
+
+<p>He stroked the invisible moustache more nervously than before. That
+penalty came home to him. 'What, leave England for evah?
+Newmarket&mdash;Ascot&mdash;the club&mdash;the music-halls!'</p>
+
+<p>'Or fourteen years' imprisonment!'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_328" id="Page_328">[Pg 328]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Georgey, you spank as hard as evah!'</p>
+
+<p>'Decide at once, or we arrest you!'</p>
+
+<p>He glanced about him feebly. I could see he was longing for his lost
+confederate. 'Well, I'll go,' he said at last, sobering down; 'and your
+solicitaw can trot round with me. I'll do all that you wish, though I
+call it most unfriendly. Hang it all, fourteen yeahs would be so beastly
+unpleasant!'</p>
+
+<p>We drove forthwith to the proper authorities, who, on hearing the facts,
+at once arranged to accept Lord Southminster and White as Queen's
+evidence, neither being the actual forger. We also telegraphed to Paris
+to have Higginson arrested, Lord Southminster giving us up his assumed
+name with the utmost cheerfulness, and without one moment's compunction.
+Mr. Hayes was quite right: each conspirator was only too ready to save
+himself by betraying his fellows. Then we drove on to Bow Street (Lord
+Southminster consoling himself with a cigarette on the way), just in
+time for Harold's case, which was to be taken, by special arrangement,
+at 3.30.</p>
+
+<p>A very few minutes sufficed to turn the tables completely on the
+conspirators. Harold was discharged, and a warrant was issued for the
+arrest of Higginson, the actual forger. He had drawn up the false will
+and signed it with Mr. Ashurst's name, after which he had presented it
+for Lord Southminster's approval. The pea-green young man told his tale
+with engaging frankness. 'Bertie's a simple Simon,' Lady Georgina
+commented to me; 'but he's also a rogue; and Higginson saw his way to
+make excellent capital of him in both capacities&mdash;first use him as a
+catspaw, and then blackmail him.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 568px;"><a name="ILL_081" id="ILL_081"></a>
+<img src="images/ill_081.jpg" width="568" height="600" alt="HAROLD, YOUR WIFE HAS BESTED ME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">HAROLD, YOUR WIFE HAS BESTED ME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>On the steps of the police-court, as we emerged triumphant, Lord
+Southminster met us&mdash;still radiant as ever. He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_329" id="Page_329">[Pg 329]</a></span> seemed wholly unaware of
+the depths of his iniquity: a fresh dose of brandy had restored his
+composure. 'Look heah,' he said, 'Harold, your wife has bested me! Jolly
+good thing for you that you managed to get hold of such a clevah woman!
+If you hadn't, deah boy, you'd have found<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_330" id="Page_330">[Pg 330]</a></span> yourself in Queeah Street!
+But, I say, Lois&mdash; I call yah Lois because you're my cousin now, yah
+know&mdash;you were backing the wrong man aftah all, as I told yah. For if
+you'd backed <i>me</i>, all this wouldn't have come out; you'd have got the
+tin and been a countess as well, aftah the governah's dead and gone,
+don't yah see. You'd have landed the double event. So you'd have pulled
+off a bettah thing for yourself in the end, as I said, if you'd laid
+your bottom dollah on me for winnah!'</p>
+
+<p>Higginson is now doing fourteen years at Portland; Harold and I are
+happy in the sweetest place in Gloucestershire; and Lord Southminster,
+blissfully unaware of the contempt with which the rest of the world
+regards him, is shooting big game among his 'boys' in South Africa.
+Indeed, he bears so little malice that he sent us a present of a trophy
+of horns for our hall last winter.</p>
+
+<h4>THE END</h4>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>THE WINCHESTER EDITION</h2>
+
+<h2>OF THE NOVELS OF</h2>
+
+<h2>JANE AUSTEN</h2>
+
+<p class="center">10 Vols. Demy 8vo, Cloth, 5s. net each Vol.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The perfection of the edition rests entirely on the efforts of
+printer, paper-maker, and binder, Messrs. T. and A. <span class="smcap">Constable</span> of
+Edinburgh being responsible for the typography, while Mr. <span class="smcap">Laurence
+Housman</span> has designed the cover.</p></div>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+
+<p><i>SPECTATOR</i>.&mdash;'The Winchester Edition has special claims to gratitude
+through the delightful quality of its print and paper. The print is of a
+generous design, and very black and clear, and the paper, while
+untransparent, not so heavy but that the book can be held comfortably in
+one hand. Altogether this promises to be one of the most delightful
+reprints ever given to the public.'</p>
+
+<p><i>ATHEN&AElig;UM</i>.&mdash;'An exceedingly handsome edition.... This is decidedly a
+cheap edition as well as an ornamental one.'</p>
+
+<p><i>WESTMINSTER GAZETTE</i>.&mdash;'Mr. Grant Richards is to be congratulated on
+the charming edition of Miss Austen's Novels, which starts with <i>Sense
+and Sensibility</i> in two volumes. Print, paper, and binding (green and
+gold, with a charming design) are all that the most fastidious could
+desire. An edition of this kind is really wanted, and comes at a moment
+when there is a natural inclination to turn back to the pages of this
+delightful writer. The younger generation is supposed not to read Miss
+Austen, which, if true, is hardly creditable to its education and good
+taste. But latterly there have been signs of a re-discovery, which will
+be stimulated by the issue of these beautiful volumes.'</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<h2>'<i>Most useful companions to the traveller.</i>'&mdash;<span class="smcap">Punch</span>.</h2>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+
+<h2>GRANT ALLEN'S</h2>
+
+<h2>HISTORICAL GUIDES</h2>
+
+<p class="center">Fcap. 8vo (Pocket Size), Limp Cloth, Round Corners, 3s. 6d. net each</p>
+
+<h3><i>VOLUMES NOW READY.</i></h3>
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align='left'>PARIS.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>CITIES OF BELGIUM (Bruges, Ghent, Brussels, Antwerp).</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>VENICE.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>FLORENCE.</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<h3><i>VOLUMES IN PREPARATION.</i></h3>
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align='left'>MUNICH.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>CITIES OF NORTH ITALY (Milan, Verona, Padua, Bologna, Ravenna).</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>DRESDEN (with Nuremberg, etc).</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>ROME, Pagan and Christian.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>CITIES OF NORTHERN FRANCE (Rouen, Amiens, Blois, Tours, Orleans).</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+
+<h3>Some Opinions of the Press.</h3>
+
+<p><i>THE TIMES</i>.&mdash;'Such good work in the way of showing students the right
+manner of approaching the history of a great city.... The execution of
+the little volumes is, on the whole, admirable.... These useful little
+volumes.'</p>
+
+<p><i>THE GUARDIAN</i>.&mdash;From the point of view of really intelligent
+sight-seeing, the two little volumes that have already appeared are
+better than anything that we yet have; and if the holiday-maker will
+only take them with him to Paris or Florence, he will probably feel that
+he has learnt more of the real city than in all his former visits.</p>
+
+<p><i>THE SPECTATOR</i>.&mdash;'A visitor to Florence could hardly, we imagine, do
+better than provide himself with this volume. A great amount of
+matter&mdash;and good matter, too&mdash;is compressed into a small space, for the
+book is light, and such as can go into a pocket of moderate capacity.
+Mr. Grant Allen not only guides his reader's judgment, but disposes of
+his time for him; he must not only not do much at once, but must arrange
+his sight-seeing in an economical and intelligent way.'</p>
+
+<p><i>MORNING POST</i>.&mdash;'That much-abused class of people, the tourists, have
+often been taunted with their ignorance and want of culture, and the
+perfunctory manner in which they hurry through and "do" the art
+galleries of Europe. There is a large amount of truth, no doubt, in the
+charge, but they might very well retort on their critics that no one had
+come forward to meet their wants, or to assist in dispelling their
+ignorance. No doubt there are guide-books, very excellent ones in their
+way, but on all matters of art very little better than mere indices;
+something fuller was required to enable the average man intelligently to
+appreciate the treasures submitted to his views. Mr. Grant Allen has
+undertaken to meet their wants, and offers these handbooks to the public
+at a price which ought to be within the reach of every one who can
+afford to travel at all. The idea is a good one, and should ensure the
+success which Mr. Allen deserves.'</p>
+
+<h3>GRANT RICHARDS, 9 HENRIETTA ST., COVENT GARDEN, W.C.</h3>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Cayley's Adventures, by Grant Allen
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,9938 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Cayley's Adventures, by Grant Allen
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Cayley's Adventures
+
+Author: Grant Allen
+
+Illustrator: Gordon Browne
+
+Release Date: January 15, 2010 [EBook #30970]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from
+scanned images of public domain material from the Google
+Print project.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
+
+
+
+
+RECENT FICTION
+
+
+By A. CONAN DOYLE.
+
+  A Duet. 6s.
+
+By GRANT ALLEN.
+
+  An African Millionaire. 6s.
+  Linnet. 6s.
+
+By FREDERIC BRETON.
+
+  True Heart. 6s.
+  'God Save England!' 6s.
+
+By M. P. SHIEL.
+
+  Contraband of War. 6s.
+  The Yellow Danger. 6s.
+
+By GRAMMONT HAMILTON.
+
+  The Mayfair Marriage. 6s.
+
+By HALDANE MACFALL.
+
+  The Wooings of Jezebel Pettyfer. 6s.
+
+By F. C. CONSTABLE.
+
+  Aunt Judith's Island. 6s.
+  Morgan Hailsham. 6s.
+
+By FRANK NORRIS.
+
+  Shanghaied. 3s. 6d.
+
+By MARIE CONNOR LEIGHTON and ROBERT LEIGHTON.
+
+  Convict 99. 3s. 6d.
+  Michael Dred, Detective. 3s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+London: GRANT RICHARDS, 1899
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: ALL AGOG TO TEACH THE HIGHER MATHEMATICS.--_See page_
+142.]
+
+
+
+
+MISS CAYLEY'S ADVENTURES
+
+
+BY
+GRANT ALLEN
+
+
+WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY GORDON BROWNE
+
+
+London
+GRANT RICHARDS
+9 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.
+
+1899
+
+
+_Printed April 1899_
+_Reprinted July 1899_
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+   1. THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD LADY                       1
+
+   2. THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS _ATTACHE_                     29
+
+   3. THE ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN                       59
+
+   4. THE ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT                   85
+
+   5. THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER                     115
+
+   6. THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN                      141
+
+   7. THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNOBTRUSIVE OASIS                         170
+
+   8. THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN                       199
+
+   9. THE ADVENTURE OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH                     225
+
+  10. THE ADVENTURE OF THE CROSS-EYED Q.C.                           252
+
+  11. THE ADVENTURE OF THE ORIENTAL ATTENDANT                        281
+
+  12. THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE                  305
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  All agog to teach the higher mathematics                _Frontispiece_
+
+  I am going out, simply in search of adventure                        5
+
+  Oui, Madame; Merci Beaucoup, Madame                                  8
+
+  Excuse me, I said, but I think I can see a way out of your
+    difficulty                                                        10
+
+  A most urbane and obliging Continental gentleman                    17
+
+  Persons of Miladi's temperament are always young                    20
+
+  That succeeds? the shabby-looking man muttered                      24
+
+  I put her hand back firmly                                          30
+
+  He cast a hasty glance at us                                        35
+
+  Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?          37
+
+  Circumstances alter cases, he murmured                              43
+
+  Miss Cayley, he said, you are playing with me                       50
+
+  I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill                           54
+
+  I was going to oppose you and Harold                                56
+
+  He kept close at my heels                                           63
+
+  I was pulled up short by a mounted policeman                        64
+
+  Seems I didn't make much of a job of it                             66
+
+  Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch                                    78
+
+  How far ahead the first man?                                        82
+
+  I am here behind you, Herr Lieutenant                               83
+
+  Let them boom or bust on it                                         86
+
+  His open admiration was getting quite embarrassing                  91
+
+  Minute inspection                                                   96
+
+  I felt a perfect little hypocrite                                   99
+
+  She invited Elsie and myself to stop with her                      103
+
+  The Count                                                          107
+
+  I thought it kinder to him to remove it altogether                 110
+
+  Inch by inch he retreated                                          113
+
+  Never leave a house to the servants, my dear!                      118
+
+  I may stay, mayn't I?                                              123
+
+  I advanced on my hands and knees to the edge of the precipice      129
+
+  I gripped the rope and let myself down                             132
+
+  I rolled and slid down                                             136
+
+  There's enterprise for you                                         145
+
+  Painting the sign-board                                            148
+
+  The urbane old gentleman                                           150
+
+  He went on dictating for just an hour                              153
+
+  He bowed to us each separately                                     156
+
+  I waited breathless                                                164
+
+  What, you here! he cried                                           168
+
+  He read them, cruel man, before my very eyes                       174
+
+  'Tis Doctor Macloghlen, he answered                                177
+
+  Too much Nile                                                      181
+
+  Emphasis                                                           184
+
+  Riding a camel does not greatly differ from sea-sickness           186
+
+  Her agitation was evident                                          189
+
+  Crouching by the rocks sat our mysterious stranger                 194
+
+  An odd-looking young man                                           201
+
+  He turned to me with an inane smile                                205
+
+  Nothing seemed to put the man down                                 210
+
+  Yah don't catch me going so fah from Newmarket                     214
+
+  Wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?                                216
+
+  Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong
+    fellah                                                           220
+
+  I am the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar                              227
+
+  Who's your black friend?                                           232
+
+  A tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly                   238
+
+  It went off unexpectedly                                           245
+
+  I saw him now the Oriental despot                                  248
+
+  It's I who am the winnah!                                          250
+
+  He wrote, I expect you to come back to England and marry me        254
+
+  It was endlessly wearisome                                         256
+
+  The cross-eyed Q.C. begged him to be very careful                  262
+
+  I was a grotesque failure                                          265
+
+  The jury smiled                                                    270
+
+  The question requires no answer, he said                           272
+
+  I reeled where I sat                                               279
+
+  The messenger entered                                              284
+
+  He took a long, careless stare at me                               291
+
+  I beckoned a porter                                                293
+
+  You can't get out here, he said, crustily                          296
+
+  We told our tale                                                   298
+
+  I have found a clue                                                303
+
+  I've held the fort by main force                                   306
+
+  Never! he answered. Never!                                         308
+
+  We shall have him in our power                                     312
+
+  Victory!                                                           316
+
+  You wished to see me, sir?                                         320
+
+  Well, this is a fair knock-out, he ejaculated                      325
+
+  Harold, your wife has bested me                                    329
+
+
+
+
+I
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE CANTANKEROUS OLD LADY
+
+
+On the day when I found myself with twopence in my pocket, I naturally
+made up my mind to go round the world.
+
+It was my stepfather's death that drove me to it. I had never seen my
+stepfather. Indeed, I never even thought of him as anything more than
+Colonel Watts-Morgan. I owed him nothing, except my poverty. He married
+my dear mother when I was a girl at school in Switzerland; and he
+proceeded to spend her little fortune, left at her sole disposal by my
+father's will, in paying his gambling debts. After that, he carried my
+dear mother off to Burma; and when he and the climate between them had
+succeeded in killing her, he made up for his appropriations at the
+cheapest rate by allowing me just enough to send me to Girton. So, when
+the Colonel died, in the year I was leaving college, I did not think it
+necessary to go into mourning for him. Especially as he chose the
+precise moment when my allowance was due, and bequeathed me nothing but
+his consolidated liabilities.
+
+'Of course you will teach,' said Elsie Petheridge, when I explained my
+affairs to her. 'There is a good demand just now for high-school
+teachers.'
+
+I looked at her, aghast. '_Teach!_ Elsie,' I cried. (I had come up to
+town to settle her in at her unfurnished lodgings.) 'Did you say
+_teach_? That's just like you dear good schoolmistresses! You go to
+Cambridge, and get examined till the heart and life have been examined
+out of you; then you say to yourselves at the end of it all, "Let me
+see; what am I good for now? I'm just about fit to go away and examine
+other people!" That's what our Principal would call "a vicious
+circle"--if one could ever admit there was anything vicious at all about
+_you_, dear. No, Elsie, I do _not_ propose to teach. Nature did not cut
+me out for a high-school teacher. I couldn't swallow a poker if I tried
+for weeks. Pokers don't agree with me. Between ourselves, I am a bit of
+a rebel.'
+
+'You are, Brownie,' she answered, pausing in her papering, with her
+sleeves rolled up--they called me 'Brownie,' partly because of my dark
+complexion, but partly because they could never understand me. 'We all
+knew that long ago.'
+
+I laid down the paste-brush and mused.
+
+'Do you remember, Elsie,' I said, staring hard at the paper-board,' when
+I first went to Girton, how all you girls wore your hair quite straight,
+in neat smooth coils, plaited up at the back about the size of a
+pancake; and how of a sudden I burst in upon you, like a tropical
+hurricane, and demoralised you; and how, after three days of me, some of
+the dear innocents began with awe to cut themselves artless fringes,
+while others went out in fear and trembling and surreptitiously
+purchased a pair of curling-tongs? I was a bomb-shell in your midst in
+those days; why, you yourself were almost afraid at first to speak to
+me.'
+
+'You see, you had a bicycle,' Elsie put in, smoothing the half-papered
+wall; 'and in those days, of course, ladies didn't bicycle. You must
+admit, Brownie, dear, it _was_ a startling innovation. You terrified us
+so. And yet, after all, there isn't much harm in you.'
+
+'I hope not,' I said devoutly. 'I was before my time, that was all; at
+present, even a curate's wife may blamelessly bicycle.'
+
+'But if you don't teach,' Elsie went on, gazing at me with those
+wondering big blue eyes of hers, 'whatever will you do, Brownie?' Her
+horizon was bounded by the scholastic circle.
+
+'I haven't the faintest idea,' I answered, continuing to paste. 'Only,
+as I can't trespass upon your elegant hospitality for life, whatever I
+mean to do, I must begin doing this morning, when we've finished the
+papering. I couldn't teach' (teaching, like mauve, is the refuge of the
+incompetent); 'and I don't, if possible, want to sell bonnets.'
+
+'As a milliner's girl?' Elsie asked, with a face of red horror.
+
+'As a milliner's girl; why not? 'Tis an honest calling. Earls' daughters
+do it now. But you needn't look so shocked. I tell you, just at present,
+I am not contemplating it.'
+
+'Then what _do_ you contemplate?'
+
+I paused and reflected. 'I am here in London,' I answered, gazing rapt
+at the ceiling; 'London, whose streets are paved with gold--though it
+_looks_ at first sight like muddy flagstones; London, the greatest and
+richest city in the world, where an adventurous soul ought surely to
+find some loophole for an adventure. (That piece is hung crooked, dear;
+we shall have to take it down again.) I devise a Plan, therefore. I
+submit myself to fate; or, if you prefer it, I leave my future in the
+hands of Providence. I shall stroll out this morning, as soon as I've
+"cleaned myself," and embrace the first stray enterprise that offers.
+Our Bagdad teems with enchanted carpets. Let one but float my way, and,
+hi, presto, I seize it. I go where glory or a modest competence waits
+me. I snatch at the first offer, the first hint of an opening.'
+
+Elsie stared at me, more aghast and more puzzled than ever. 'But, how?'
+she asked. 'Where? When? You _are_ so strange! What will you do to find
+one?'
+
+'Put on my hat and walk out,' I answered. 'Nothing could be simpler.
+This city bursts with enterprises and surprises. Strangers from east and
+west hurry through it in all directions. Omnibuses traverse it from end
+to end--even, I am told, to Islington and Putney; within, folk sit face
+to face who never saw one another before in their lives, and who may
+never see one another again, or, on the contrary, may pass the rest of
+their days together.'
+
+I had a lovely harangue all pat in my head, in much the same strain, on
+the infinite possibilities of entertaining angels unawares, in cabs, on
+the Underground, in the aerated bread shops; but Elsie's widening eyes
+of horror pulled me up short like a hansom in Piccadilly when the
+inexorable upturned hand of the policeman checks it. 'Oh, Brownie,' she
+cried, drawing back, 'you _don't_ mean to tell me you're going to ask
+the first young man you meet in an omnibus to marry you?'
+
+[Illustration: I AM GOING OUT, SIMPLY IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE.]
+
+I shrieked with laughter, 'Elsie,' I cried, kissing her dear yellow
+little head, 'you are _impayable_. You never will learn what I mean. You
+don't understand the language. No, no; I am going out, simply in search
+of adventure. What adventure may come, I have not at this moment the
+faintest conception. The fun lies in the search, the uncertainty, the
+toss-up of it. What is the good of being penniless--with the trifling
+exception of twopence--unless you are prepared to accept your position
+in the spirit of a masked ball at Covent Garden?'
+
+'I have never been to one,' Elsie put in.
+
+'Gracious heavens, neither have I! What on earth do you take me for? But
+I mean to see where fate will lead me.'
+
+'I may go with you?' Elsie pleaded.
+
+'Certainly _not_, my child,' I answered--she was three years older than
+I, so I had the right to patronise her. 'That would spoil all. Your dear
+little face would be quite enough to scare away a timid adventure.' She
+knew what I meant. It was gentle and pensive, but it lacked initiative.
+
+So, when we had finished that wall, I popped on my best hat, and popped
+out by myself into Kensington Gardens.
+
+I am told I ought to have been terribly alarmed at the straits in which
+I found myself--a girl of twenty-one, alone in the world, and only
+twopence short of penniless, without a friend to protect, a relation to
+counsel her. (I don't count Aunt Susan, who lurked in ladylike indigence
+at Blackheath, and whose counsel, like her tracts, was given away too
+profusely to everybody to allow of one's placing any very high value
+upon it.) But, as a matter of fact, I must admit I was not in the least
+alarmed. Nature had endowed me with a profusion of crisp black hair, and
+plenty of high spirits. If my eyes had been like Elsie's--that liquid
+blue which looks out upon life with mingled pity and amazement--I might
+have felt as a girl ought to feel under such conditions; but having
+large dark eyes, with a bit of a twinkle in them, and being as well able
+to pilot a bicycle as any girl of my acquaintance, I have inherited or
+acquired an outlook on the world which distinctly leans rather towards
+cheeriness than despondency. I croak with difficulty. So I accepted my
+plight as an amusing experience, affording full scope for the congenial
+exercise of courage and ingenuity.
+
+How boundless are the opportunities of Kensington Gardens--the Round
+Pond, the winding Serpentine, the mysterious seclusion of the Dutch
+brick Palace! Genii swarm there. One jostles possibilities. It is a land
+of romance, bounded on the north by the Abyss of Bayswater, and on the
+south by the Amphitheatre of the Albert Hall. But for a centre of
+adventure I choose the Long Walk; it beckoned me somewhat as the
+North-West Passage beckoned my seafaring ancestors--the buccaneering
+mariners of Elizabethan Devon. I sat down on a chair at the foot of an
+old elm with a poetic hollow, prosaically filled by a utilitarian plate
+of galvanised iron. Two ancient ladies were seated on the other side
+already--very grand-looking dames, with the haughty and exclusive
+ugliness of the English aristocracy in its later stages. For frank
+hideousness, commend me to the noble dowager. They were talking
+confidentially as I sat down; the trifling episode of my approach did
+not suffice to stem the full stream of their conversation. The great
+ignore the intrusion of their inferiors.
+
+[Illustration: OUI, MADAME; MERCI BEAUCOUP, MADAME.]
+
+'Yes, it's a terrible nuisance,' the eldest and ugliest of the two
+observed--she was a high-born lady, with a distinctly cantankerous cast
+of countenance. She had a Roman nose, and her skin was wrinkled like a
+wilted apple; she wore coffee-coloured point-lace in her bonnet, with a
+complexion to match. 'But what could I do, my dear? I simply _couldn't_
+put up with such insolence. So I looked her straight back in the
+face--oh, she quailed, I can tell you; and I said to her, in my iciest
+voice--you know how icy I can be when occasion demands it'--the second
+old lady nodded an ungrudging assent, as if perfectly prepared to admit
+her friend's rare gift of iciness--'I said to her, "Celestine, you can
+take your month's wages, and half an hour to get out of this house." And
+she dropped me a deep reverence, and she answered: "_Oui, madame; merci
+beaucoup, madame; je ne desire pas mieux, madame._" And out she
+flounced. So there was the end of it.'
+
+'Still, you go to Schlangenbad on Monday?'
+
+'That's the point. On Monday. If it weren't for the journey, I should
+have been glad enough to be rid of the minx. I'm glad as it is, indeed;
+for a more insolent, upstanding, independent, answer-you-back-again
+young woman, with a sneer of her own, _I_ never saw, Amelia--but I
+_must_ get to Schlangenbad. Now, there the difficulty comes in. On the
+one hand, if I engage a maid in London, I have the choice of two evils.
+Either I must take a trapesing English girl--and I know by experience
+that an English girl on the Continent is a vast deal worse than no maid
+at all: _you_ have to wait upon _her_, instead of her waiting upon you;
+she gets seasick on the crossing, and when she reaches France or
+Germany, she hates the meals, and she detests the hotel servants, and
+she can't speak the language, so that she's always calling you in to
+interpret for her in her private differences with the _fille-de-chambre_
+and the landlord; or else I must pick up a French maid in London, and I
+know equally by experience that the French maids one engages in London
+are invariably dishonest--more dishonest than the rest even; they've
+come here because they have no character to speak of elsewhere, and they
+think you aren't likely to write and enquire of their last mistress in
+Toulouse or St. Petersburg. Then, again, on the other hand, I can't wait
+to get a Gretchen, an unsophisticated little Gretchen of the Taunus at
+Schlangenbad-- I suppose there _are_ unsophisticated girls in Germany
+still--made in Germany--they don't make 'em any longer in England, I'm
+sure--like everything else, the trade in rustic innocence has been
+driven from the country. I can't wait to get a Gretchen, as I should
+like to do, of course, because I simply _daren't_ undertake to cross the
+Channel alone and go all that long journey by Ostend or Calais, Brussels
+and Cologne, to Schlangenbad.'
+
+'You could get a temporary maid,' her friend suggested, in a lull of the
+tornado.
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady flared up. 'Yes, and have my jewel-case
+stolen! Or find she was an English girl without one word of German. Or
+nurse her on the boat when I want to give my undivided attention to my
+own misfortunes. No, Amelia, I call it positively unkind of you to
+suggest such a thing. You're _so_ unsympathetic! I put my foot down
+there. I will _not_ take any temporary person.'
+
+I saw my chance. This was a delightful idea. Why not start for
+Schlangenbad with the Cantankerous Old Lady?
+
+Of course, I had not the slightest intention of taking a lady's-maid's
+place for a permanency. Nor even, if it comes to that, as a passing
+expedient. But _if_ I wanted to go round the world, how could I do
+better than set out by the Rhine country? The Rhine leads you on to the
+Danube, the Danube to the Black Sea, the Black Sea to Asia; and so, by
+way of India, China, and Japan, you reach the Pacific and San Francisco;
+whence one returns quite easily by New York and the White Star Liners. I
+began to feel like a globe-trotter already; the Cantankerous Old Lady
+was the thin end of the wedge--the first rung of the ladder! I proceeded
+to put my foot on it.
+
+[Illustration: EXCUSE ME, I SAID, BUT I THINK I SEE A WAY OUT OF YOUR
+DIFFICULTY.]
+
+I leaned around the corner of the tree and spoke. 'Excuse me,' I said,
+in my suavest voice, 'but I think I see a way out of your difficulty.'
+
+My first impression was that the Cantankerous Old Lady would go off in a
+fit of apoplexy. She grew purple in the face with indignation and
+astonishment, that a casual outsider should venture to address her; so
+much so, indeed, that for a second I almost regretted my well-meant
+interposition. Then she scanned me up and down, as if I were a girl in a
+mantle shop, and she contemplated buying either me or the mantle. At
+last, catching my eye, she thought better of it, and burst out laughing.
+
+'What do you mean by this eavesdropping?' she asked.
+
+I flushed up in turn. 'This is a public place,' I replied, with dignity;
+'and you spoke in a tone which was hardly designed for the strictest
+privacy. If you don't wish to be overheard, you oughtn't to shout.
+Besides, I desired to do you a service.'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady regarded me once more from head to foot. I did
+not quail. Then she turned to her companion. 'The girl has spirit,' she
+remarked, in an encouraging tone, as if she were discussing some absent
+person. 'Upon my word, Amelia, I rather like the look of her. Well, my
+good woman, what do you want to suggest to me?'
+
+'Merely this,' I replied, bridling up and crushing her. 'I am a Girton
+girl, an officer's daughter, no more a good woman than most others of my
+class; and I have nothing in particular to do for the moment. I don't
+object to going to Schlangenbad. I would convoy you over, as companion,
+or lady-help, or anything else you choose to call it; I would remain
+with you there for a week, till you could arrange with your Gretchen,
+presumably unsophisticated; and then I would leave you. Salary is
+unimportant; my fare suffices. I accept the chance as a cheap
+opportunity of attaining Schlangenbad.'
+
+The yellow-faced old lady put up her long-handled tortoise-shell
+eyeglasses and inspected me all over again. 'Well, I declare,' she
+murmured. 'What are girls coming to, I wonder? Girton, you say; Girton!
+That place at Cambridge! You speak Greek, of course; but how about
+German?'
+
+'Like a native,' I answered, with cheerful promptitude. 'I was at school
+in Canton Berne; it is a mother tongue to me.'
+
+'No, no,' the old lady went on, fixing her keen small eyes on my mouth.
+'Those little lips could never frame themselves to "schlecht" or
+"wunderschoen"; they were not cut out for it.'
+
+'Pardon me,' I answered, in German. 'What I say, that I mean. The
+never-to-be-forgotten music of the Fatherland's-speech has on my infant
+ear from the first-beginning impressed itself.'
+
+The old lady laughed aloud.
+
+'Don't jabber it to me, child,' she cried. 'I hate the lingo. It's the
+one tongue on earth that even a pretty girl's lips fail to render
+attractive. You yourself make faces over it. What's your name, young
+woman?'
+
+'Lois Cayley.'
+
+'Lois! _What_ a name! I never heard of any Lois in my life before,
+except Timothy's grandmother. _You're_ not anybody's grandmother, are
+you?'
+
+'Not to my knowledge,' I answered, gravely.
+
+She burst out laughing again.
+
+'Well, you'll do, I think,' she said, catching my arm. 'That big mill
+down yonder hasn't ground the originality altogether out of you. I adore
+originality. It was clever of you to catch at the suggestion of this
+arrangement. Lois Cayley, you say; any relation of a madcap Captain
+Cayley whom I used once to know, in the Forty-second Highlanders?'
+
+'His daughter,' I answered, flushing. For I was proud of my father.
+
+'Ha! I remember; he died, poor fellow; he was a good soldier--and
+his'--I felt she was going to say 'his fool of a widow,' but a glance
+from me quelled her; 'his widow went and married that good-looking
+scapegrace, Jack Watts-Morgan. Never marry a man, my dear, with a
+double-barrelled name and no visible means of subsistence; above all, if
+he's generally known by a nickname. So you're poor Tom Cayley's
+daughter, are you? Well, well, we can settle this little matter between
+us. Mind, I'm a person who always expects to have my own way. If you
+come with _me_ to Schlangenbad, you must do as I tell you.'
+
+'I _think_ I could manage it--for a week,' I answered, demurely.
+
+She smiled at my audacity. We passed on to terms. They were quite
+satisfactory. She wanted no references. 'Do I look like a woman who
+cares about a reference? What are called _characters_ are usually essays
+in how not to say it. You take my fancy; that's the point! And poor Tom
+Cayley! But, mind, I will _not_ be contradicted.'
+
+'I will not contradict your wildest misstatement,' I answered, smiling.
+
+'_And_ your name and address?' I asked, after we had settled
+preliminaries.
+
+A faint red spot rose quaintly in the centre of the Cantankerous Old
+Lady's sallow cheek. 'My dear,' she murmured, 'my name is the one thing
+on earth I'm really ashamed of. My parents chose to inflict upon me the
+most odious label that human ingenuity ever devised for a Christian
+soul; and I've not had courage enough to burst out and change it.'
+
+A gleam of intuition flashed across me, 'You don't mean to say,' I
+exclaimed, 'that you're called Georgina?'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady gripped my arm hard. 'What an unusually
+intelligent girl!' she broke in. 'How on earth did you guess? It _is_
+Georgina.'
+
+'Fellow-feeling,' I answered. 'So is mine, Georgina Lois. But as I quite
+agree with you as to the atrocity of such conduct, I have suppressed the
+Georgina. It ought to be made penal to send innocent girls into the
+world so burdened.'
+
+'My opinion to a T! You are really an exceptionally sensible young
+woman. There's my name and address; I start on Monday.'
+
+I glanced at her card. The very copperplate was noisy. 'Lady Georgina
+Fawley, 49 Fortescue Crescent, W.'
+
+It had taken us twenty minutes to arrange our protocols. As I walked
+off, well pleased, Lady Georgina's friend ran after me quickly.
+
+'You must take care,' she said, in a warning voice. 'You've caught a
+Tartar.'
+
+'So I suspect,' I answered. 'But a week in Tartary will be at least an
+experience.'
+
+'She has an awful temper.'
+
+'That's nothing. So have I. Appalling, I assure you. And if it comes to
+blows, I'm bigger and younger and stronger than she is.'
+
+'Well, I wish you well out of it.'
+
+'Thank you. It is kind of you to give me this warning. But I think I can
+take care of myself. I come, you see, of a military family.'
+
+I nodded my thanks, and strolled back to Elsie's. Dear little Elsie was
+in transports of surprise when I related my adventure.
+
+'Will you really go? And what will you do, my dear, when you get there?'
+
+'I haven't a notion,' I answered; 'that's where the fun comes in. But,
+anyhow, I shall have got there.'
+
+'Oh, Brownie, you might starve!'
+
+'And I might starve in London. In either place, I have only two hands
+and one head to help me.'
+
+'But, then, here you are among friends. You might stop with me for
+ever.'
+
+I kissed her fluffy forehead. 'You good, generous little Elsie,' I
+cried; 'I won't stop here one moment after I have finished the painting
+and papering. I came here to help you. I couldn't go on eating your
+hard-earned bread and doing nothing. I know how sweet you are; but the
+last thing I want is to add to your burdens. Now let us roll up our
+sleeves again and hurry on with the dado.'
+
+'But, Brownie, you'll want to be getting your own things ready.
+Remember, you're off to Germany on Monday.'
+
+I shrugged my shoulders. 'Tis a foreign trick I picked up in
+Switzerland. 'What have I got to get ready?' I asked. 'I can't go out
+and buy a complete summer outfit in Bond Street for twopence. Now, don't
+look at me like that: be practical, Elsie, and let me help you paint the
+dado.' For unless I helped her, poor Elsie could never have finished it
+herself. I cut out half her clothes for her; her own ideas were almost
+entirely limited to differential calculus. And cutting out a blouse by
+differential calculus is weary, uphill work for a high-school teacher.
+
+By Monday I had papered and furnished the rooms, and was ready to start
+on my voyage of exploration. I met the Cantankerous Old Lady at Charing
+Cross, by appointment, and proceeded to take charge of her luggage and
+tickets.
+
+Oh my, how fussy she was! 'You will drop that basket! I hope you have
+got through tickets, _via_ Malines, _not_ by Brussels-- I won't go by
+Brussels. You have to change there. Now, mind you notice how much the
+luggage weighs in English pounds, and make the man at the office give
+you a note of it to check those horrid Belgian porters. They'll charge
+you for double the weight, unless you reduce it at once to kilogrammes.
+_I_ know their ways. Foreigners have no consciences. They just go to the
+priest and confess, you know, and wipe it all out, and start fresh again
+on a career of crime next morning. I'm sure I don't know why I _ever_ go
+abroad. The only country in the world fit to live in is England. No
+mosquitoes, no passports, no--goodness gracious, child, don't let that
+odious man bang about my hat-box! Have you no immortal soul, porter,
+that you crush other people's property as if it was blackbeetles? No, I
+will not let you take this, Lois; this is my jewel-box--it contains all
+that remains of the Fawley family jewels. I positively decline to appear
+at Schlangenbad without a diamond to my back. This never leaves my
+hands. It's hard enough nowadays to keep body and skirt together. _Have_
+you secured that _coupe_ at Ostend?'
+
+[Illustration: A MOST URBANE AND OBLIGING CONTINENTAL GENTLEMAN.]
+
+We got into our first-class carriage. It was clean and comfortable; but
+the Cantankerous Old Lady made the porter mop the floor, and fidgeted
+and worried till we slid out of the station. Fortunately, the only other
+occupant of the compartment was a most urbane and obliging Continental
+gentleman--I say Continental, because I couldn't quite make out whether
+he was French, German, or Austrian--who was anxious in every way to meet
+Lady Georgina's wishes. Did madame desire to have the window open? Oh,
+certainly, with pleasure; the day was so sultry. Closed a little more?
+_Parfaitement_, there _was_ a current of air, _il faut l'admettre_.
+Madame would prefer the corner? No? Then perhaps she would like this
+valise for a footstool? _Permettez_--just thus. A cold draught runs so
+often along the floor in railway carriages. This is Kent that we
+traverse; ah, the garden of England! As a diplomat, he knew every nook
+of Europe, and he echoed the _mot_ he had accidentally heard drop from
+madame's lips on the platform: no country in the world so delightful as
+England!
+
+'Monsieur is attached to the Embassy in London?' Lady Georgina inquired,
+growing affable.
+
+He twirled his grey moustache: a waxed moustache of great distinction.
+'No, madame; I have quitted the diplomatic service; I inhabit London now
+_pour mon agrement_. Some of my compatriots call it _triste_; for me, I
+find it the most fascinating capital in Europe. What gaiety! What
+movement! What poetry! What mystery!'
+
+'If mystery means fog, it challenges the world,' I interposed.
+
+He gazed at me with fixed eyes. 'Yes, mademoiselle,' he answered, in
+quite a different and markedly chilly voice. 'Whatever your great
+country attempts--were it only a fog--it achieves consummately.'
+
+I have quick intuitions. I felt the foreign gentleman took an
+instinctive dislike to me.
+
+To make up for it, he talked much, and with animation, to Lady Georgina.
+They ferreted out friends in common, and were as much surprised at it as
+people always are at that inevitable experience.
+
+'Ah yes, madame, I recollect him well in Vienna. I was there at the
+time, attached to our Legation. He was a charming man; you read his
+masterly paper on the Central Problem of the Dual Empire?'
+
+'You were in Vienna then!' the Cantankerous Old Lady mused back. 'Lois,
+my child, don't stare'--she had covenanted from the first to call me
+Lois, as my father's daughter, and I confess I preferred it to being
+Miss Cayley'd. 'We must surely have met. Dare I ask your name,
+monsieur?'
+
+I could see the foreign gentleman was delighted at this turn. He had
+played for it, and carried his point. He meant her to ask him. He had a
+card in his pocket, conveniently close; and he handed it across to her.
+She read it, and passed it on: 'M. le Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret.'
+
+'Oh, I remember your name well,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke in. 'I
+think you knew my husband, Sir Evelyn Fawley, and my father, Lord
+Kynaston.'
+
+The Count looked profoundly surprised and delighted. 'What! you are then
+Lady Georgina Fawley!' he cried, striking an attitude. 'Indeed, miladi,
+your admirable husband was one of the very first to exert his influence
+in my favour at Vienna. Do I recall him, _ce cher_ Sir Evelyn? If I
+recall him! What a fortunate rencounter! I must have seen you some years
+ago at Vienna, miladi, though I had not then the great pleasure of
+making your acquaintance. But your face had impressed itself on my
+sub-conscious self!' (I did not learn till later that the esoteric
+doctrine of the sub-conscious self was Lady Georgina's favourite hobby.)
+'The moment chance led me to this carriage this morning, I said to
+myself, "That face, those features: so vivid, so striking: I have seen
+them somewhere. With what do I connect them in the recesses of my
+memory? A high-born family; genius; rank; the diplomatic service; some
+unnameable charm; some faint touch of eccentricity. Ha! I have it.
+Vienna, a carriage with footmen in red livery, a noble presence, a crowd
+of wits--poets, artists, politicians--pressing eagerly round the
+landau." That was my mental picture as I sat and confronted you: I
+understand it all now; this is Lady Georgina Fawley!'
+
+I thought the Cantankerous Old Lady, who was a shrewd person in her way,
+must surely see through this obvious patter; but I had under-estimated
+the average human capacity for swallowing flattery. Instead of
+dismissing his fulsome nonsense with a contemptuous smile, Lady
+Georgina perked herself up with a conscious air of coquetry, and asked
+for more. 'Yes, they were delightful days in Vienna,' she said,
+simpering; 'I was young then, Count; I enjoyed life with a zest.'
+
+[Illustration: PERSONS OF MILADI'S TEMPERAMENT ARE ALWAYS YOUNG.]
+
+'Persons of miladi's temperament are always young,' the Count retorted,
+glibly, leaning forward and gazing at her. 'Growing old is a foolish
+habit of the stupid and the vacant. Men and women of _esprit_ are never
+older. One learns as one goes on in life to admire, not the obvious
+beauty of mere youth and health'--he glanced across at me
+disdainfully--'but the profounder beauty of deep character in a
+face--that calm and serene beauty which is imprinted on the brow by
+experience of the emotions.'
+
+'I have had my moments,' Lady Georgina murmured, with her head on one
+side.
+
+'I believe it, miladi,' the Count answered, and ogled her.
+
+Thenceforward to Dover, they talked together with ceaseless animation.
+The Cantankerous Old Lady was capital company. She had a tang in her
+tongue, and in the course of ninety minutes she had flayed alive the
+greater part of London society, with keen wit and sprightliness. I
+laughed against my will at her ill-tempered sallies; they were too funny
+not to amuse, in spite of their vitriol. As for the Count, he was
+charmed. He talked well himself, too, and between them I almost forgot
+the time till we arrived at Dover.
+
+It was a very rough passage. The Count helped us to carry our nineteen
+hand-packages and four rugs on board; but I noticed that, fascinated as
+she was with him, Lady Georgina resisted his ingenious efforts to gain
+possession of her precious jewel-case as she descended the gangway. She
+clung to it like grim death, even in the chops of the Channel.
+Fortunately I am a good sailor, and when Lady Georgina's sallow cheeks
+began to grow pale, I was steady enough to supply her with her shawl and
+her smelling-bottle. She fidgeted and worried the whole way over. She
+_would_ be treated like a vertebrate animal. Those horrid Belgians had
+no right to stick their deck-chairs just in front of her. The
+impertinence of the hussies with the bright red hair--a grocer's
+daughters, she felt sure--in venturing to come and sit on the same bench
+with _her_--the bench 'for ladies only,' under the lee of the funnel!
+'Ladies only,' indeed! Did the baggages pretend they considered
+themselves ladies? Oh, that placid old gentleman in the episcopal
+gaiters was their father, was he? Well, a bishop should bring up his
+daughters better, having his children in subjection with all gravity.
+Instead of which--'Lois, my smelling-salts!' This was a beastly boat;
+such an odour of machinery; they had no decent boats nowadays; with all
+our boasted improvements, she could remember well when the cross-Channel
+service was much better conducted than it was at present. But _that_ was
+before we had compulsory education. The working classes were driving
+trade out of the country, and the consequence was, we couldn't build a
+boat which didn't reek like an oil-shop. Even the sailors on board were
+French--jabbering idiots; not an honest British Jack-tar among the lot
+of them; though the stewards were English, and very inferior Cockney
+English at that, with their off-hand ways, and their School Board airs
+and graces. _She'd_ School Board them if they were her servants; _she'd_
+show them the sort of respect that was due to people of birth and
+education. But the children of the lower classes never learnt their
+catechism nowadays; they were too much occupied with literatoor,
+jography, and free-'and drawrin'. Happily for my nerves, a good lurch to
+leeward put a stop for a while to the course of her thoughts on the
+present distresses.
+
+At Ostend the Count made a second gallant attempt to capture the
+jewel-case, which Lady Georgina automatically repulsed. She had a fixed
+habit, I believe, of sticking fast to that jewel-case; for she was too
+overpowered by the Count's urbanity, I feel sure, to suspect for a
+moment his honesty of purpose. But whenever she travelled, I fancy, she
+clung to her case as if her life depended upon it; it contained the
+whole of her valuable diamonds.
+
+We had twenty minutes for refreshments at Ostend, during which interval
+my old lady declared with warmth that I _must_ look after her registered
+luggage; though, as it was booked through to Cologne, I could not even
+see it till we crossed the German frontier; for the Belgian _douaniers_
+seal up the van as soon as the through baggage for Germany is unloaded.
+To satisfy her, however, I went through the formality of pretending to
+inspect it, and rendered myself hateful to the head of the _douane_ by
+asking various foolish and inept questions, on which Lady Georgina
+insisted. When I had finished this silly and uncongenial task--for I am
+not by nature fussy, and it is hard to assume fussiness as another
+person's proxy--I returned to our _coupe_ which I had arranged for in
+London. To my great amazement, I found the Cantankerous Old Lady and the
+egregious Count comfortably seated there. 'Monsieur has been good enough
+to accept a place in our carriage,' she observed, as I entered.
+
+He bowed and smiled. 'Or, rather, madame has been so kind as to offer me
+one,' he corrected.
+
+'Would you like some lunch, Lady Georgina?' I asked, in my chilliest
+voice. 'There are ten minutes to spare, and the _buffet_ is excellent.'
+
+'An admirable inspiration,' the Count murmured. 'Permit me to escort
+you, miladi.'
+
+'You will come, Lois?' Lady Georgina asked.
+
+'No, thank you,' I answered, for I had an idea. 'I am a capital sailor,
+but the sea takes away my appetite.'
+
+'Then you'll keep our places,' she said, turning to me. 'I hope you
+won't allow them to stick in any horrid foreigners! They will try to
+force them on you unless you insist. _I_ know their tricky ways. You
+have the tickets, I trust? And the _bulletin_ for the _coupe_? Well,
+mind you don't lose the paper for the registered luggage. Don't let
+those dreadful porters touch my cloaks. And if anybody attempts to get
+in, be sure you stand in front of the door as they mount to prevent
+them.'
+
+The Count handed her out; he was all high courtly politeness. As Lady
+Georgina descended, he made yet another dexterous effort to relieve her
+of the jewel-case. I don't think she noticed it, but automatically once
+more she waved him aside. Then she turned to me. 'Here, my dear,' she
+said, handing it to me, 'you'd better take care of it. If I lay it down
+in the _buffet_ while I am eating my soup, some rogue may run away with
+it. But mind, don't let it out of your hands on any account. Hold it
+so, on your knee; and, for Heaven's sake, don't part with it.'
+
+[Illustration: THAT SUCCEEDS? THE SHABBY-LOOKING MAN MUTTERED.]
+
+By this time my suspicions of the Count were profound. From the first I
+had doubted him; he was so blandly plausible. But as we landed at Ostend
+I had accidentally overheard a low whispered conversation when he passed
+a shabby-looking man, who had travelled in a second-class carriage from
+London. 'That succeeds?' the shabby-looking man had muttered under his
+breath in French, as the haughty nobleman with the waxed moustache
+brushed by him.
+
+'That succeeds admirably,' the Count had answered, in the same soft
+undertone. '_Ca reussit a merveille!_'
+
+I understood him to mean that he had prospered in his attempt to impose
+on Lady Georgina.
+
+They had been gone five minutes at the _buffet_, when the Count came
+back hurriedly to the door of the _coupe_ with a _nonchalant_ air. 'Oh,
+mademoiselle,' he said, in an off-hand tone, 'Lady Georgina has sent me
+to fetch her jewel-case.'
+
+I gripped it hard with both hands. '_Pardon_, M. le Comte,' I answered;
+'Lady Georgina intrusted it to _my_ safe keeping, and, without her
+leave, I cannot give it up to any one.'
+
+'You mistrust me?' he cried, looking black. 'You doubt my honour? You
+doubt my word when I say that miladi has sent me?'
+
+'_Du tout_,' I answered, calmly. 'But I have Lady Georgina's orders to
+stick to this case; and till Lady Georgina returns I stick to it.'
+
+He murmured some indignant remark below his breath, and walked off. The
+shabby-looking passenger was pacing up and down the platform outside in
+a badly-made dust-coat. As they passed their lips moved. The Count's
+seemed to mutter, '_C'est un coup manque._'
+
+However, he did not desist even so. I saw he meant to go on with his
+dangerous little game. He returned to the _buffet_ and rejoined Lady
+Georgina. I felt sure it would be useless to warn her, so completely had
+the Count succeeded in gulling her; but I took my own steps. I examined
+the jewel-case closely. It had a leather outer covering; within was a
+strong steel box, with stout bands of metal to bind it. I took my cue at
+once, and acted for the best on my own responsibility.
+
+When Lady Georgina and the Count returned, they were like old friends
+together. The quails in aspic and the sparkling hock had evidently
+opened their hearts to one another. As far as Malines they laughed and
+talked without ceasing. Lady Georgina was now in her finest vein of
+spleen: her acid wit grew sharper and more caustic each moment. Not a
+reputation in Europe had a rag left to cover it as we steamed in beneath
+the huge iron roof of the main central junction.
+
+I had observed all the way from Ostend that the Count had been anxious
+lest we might have to give up our _coupe_ at Malines. I assured him more
+than once that his fears were groundless, for I had arranged at Charing
+Cross that it should run right through to the German frontier. But he
+waved me aside, with one lordly hand. I had not told Lady Georgina of
+his vain attempt to take possession of her jewel-case; and the bare fact
+of my silence made him increasingly suspicious of me.
+
+'Pardon me, mademoiselle,' he said, coldly; 'you do not understand these
+lines as well as I do. Nothing is more common than for those rascals of
+railway clerks to sell one a place in a _coupe_ or a _wagon-lit_, and
+then never reserve it, or turn one out half way. It is very possible
+miladi may have to descend at Malines.'
+
+Lady Georgina bore him out by a large variety of selected stories
+concerning the various atrocities of the rival companies which had
+stolen her luggage on her way to Italy. As for _trains de luxe_, they
+were dens of robbers.
+
+So when we reached Malines, just to satisfy Lady Georgina, I put out my
+head and inquired of a porter. As I anticipated, he replied that there
+was no change; we went through to Verviers.
+
+The Count, however, was still unsatisfied. He descended, and made some
+remarks a little farther down the platform to an official in the
+gold-banded cap of a _chef-de-gare_, or some such functionary. Then he
+returned to us, all fuming. 'It is as I said,' he exclaimed, flinging
+open the door. 'These rogues have deceived us. The _coupe_ goes no
+farther. You must dismount at once, miladi, and take the train just
+opposite.'
+
+I felt sure he was wrong, and I ventured to say so. But Lady Georgina
+cried, 'Nonsense, child! The _chef-de-gare_ must know. Get out at once!
+Bring my bag and the rugs! Mind that cloak! Don't forget the
+sandwich-tin! Thanks, Count; will you kindly take charge of my
+umbrellas? Hurry up, Lois; hurry up! the train is just starting!'
+
+I scrambled after her, with my fourteen bundles, keeping a quiet eye
+meanwhile on the jewel-case.
+
+We took our seats in the opposite train, which I noticed was marked
+'Amsterdam, Bruxelles, Paris.' But I said nothing. The Count jumped in,
+jumped about, arranged our parcels, jumped out again. He spoke to a
+porter; then he rushed back excitedly. '_Mille pardons_, miladi,' he
+cried. 'I find the _chef-de-gare_ has cruelly deceived me. You were
+right, after all, mademoiselle! We must return to the coupe__!'
+
+With singular magnanimity, I refrained from saying, 'I told you so.'
+
+Lady Georgina, very flustered and hot by this time, tumbled out once
+more, and bolted back to the _coupe_. Both trains were just starting. In
+her hurry, at last, she let the Count take possession of her jewel-case.
+I rather fancy that as he passed one window he handed it in to the
+shabby-looking passenger; but I am not certain. At any rate, when we
+were comfortably seated in our own compartment once more, and he stood
+on the footboard just about to enter, of a sudden he made an unexpected
+dash back, and flung himself wildly into a Paris carriage. At the
+self-same moment, with a piercing shriek, both trains started.
+
+Lady Georgina threw up her hands in a frenzy of horror. 'My diamonds!'
+she cried aloud. 'Oh, Lois, my diamonds!'
+
+'Don't distress yourself,' I answered, holding her back, for I verily
+believe she would have leapt from the train. 'He has only taken the
+outer shell, with the sandwich-case inside it. _Here_ is the steel box!'
+And I produced it, triumphantly.
+
+She seized it, overjoyed. 'How did this happen?' she cried, hugging it,
+for she loved those diamonds.
+
+'Very simply,' I answered. 'I saw the man was a rogue, and that he had a
+confederate with him in another carriage. So, while you were gone to the
+_buffet_ at Ostend, I slipped the box out of the case, and put in the
+sandwich-tin, that he might carry it off, and we might have proofs
+against him. All you have to do now is to inform the conductor, who will
+telegraph to stop the train to Paris. I spoke to him about that at
+Ostend, so that everything is ready.'
+
+She positively hugged me. 'My dear,' she cried, 'you are the cleverest
+little woman I ever met in my life! Who on earth could have suspected
+such a polished gentleman? Why, you're worth your weight in gold. What
+the dickens shall I do without you at Schlangenbad?'
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE SUPERCILIOUS _ATTACHE_
+
+
+The Count must have been an adept in the gentle art of quick-change
+disguise; for though we telegraphed full particulars of his appearance
+from Louvain, the next station, nobody in the least resembling either
+him or his accomplice, the shabby-looking man, could be unearthed in the
+Paris train when it drew up at Brussels, its first stopping-place. They
+must have transformed themselves meanwhile into two different persons.
+Indeed, from the outset, I had suspected his moustache--'twas so _very_
+distinguished.
+
+When we reached Cologne, the Cantankerous Old Lady overwhelmed me with
+the warmth of her thanks and praises. Nay, more; after breakfast next
+morning, before we set out by slow train for Schlangenbad, she burst
+like a tornado into my bedroom at the Cologne hotel with a cheque for
+twenty guineas, drawn in my favour. 'That's for you, my dear,' she said,
+handing it to me, and looking really quite gracious.
+
+I glanced at the piece of paper and felt my face glow crimson. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina,' I cried; 'you misunderstand. You forget that I am a lady.'
+
+'Nonsense, child, nonsense! Your courage and promptitude were worth ten
+times that sum,' she exclaimed, positively slipping her arm round my
+neck. 'It was your courage I particularly admired, Lois; because you
+faced the risk of my happening to look inside the outer case, and
+finding you had abstracted the blessed box: in which case I might quite
+naturally have concluded you meant to steal it.'
+
+'I thought of that,' I answered. 'But I decided to risk it. I felt it
+was worth while. For I was sure the man meant to take the case as soon
+as ever you gave him the opportunity.'
+
+'Then you deserve to be rewarded,' she insisted, pressing the cheque
+upon me.
+
+[Illustration: I PUT HER HAND BACK FIRMLY.]
+
+I put her hand back firmly. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, 'it is very amiable
+of you. I think you do right in offering me the money; but I think I
+should do altogether wrong in accepting it. A lady is not honest from
+the hope of gain; she is not brave because she expects to be paid for
+her bravery. You were my employer, and I was bound to serve my
+employer's interests. I did so as well as I could, and there is the end
+of it.'
+
+She looked absolutely disappointed; we all hate to crush a benevolent
+impulse; but she tore the cheque up into very small pieces. 'As you
+will, my dear,' she said, with her hands on her hips: 'I see, you are
+poor Tom Cayley's daughter. He was always a bit Quixotic.' Though I
+believe she liked me all the better for my refusal.
+
+On the way from Cologne to Eltville, however, and on the drive up to
+Schlangenbad, I found her just as fussy and as worrying as ever. 'Let me
+see, how many of these horrid pfennigs make an English penny? I never
+_can_ remember. Oh, those silly little nickel things are ten pfennigs
+each, are they? Well, eight would be a penny, I suppose. A mark's a
+shilling; ridiculous of them to divide it into ten pence instead of
+twelve; one never really knows how much one's paying for anything. Why
+these Continental people can't be content to use pounds, shillings, and
+pence, all over alike, the same as we do, passes _my_ comprehension.
+They're glad enough to get English sovereigns when they can; why, then,
+don't they use them as such, instead of reckoning them each at
+twenty-five francs, and then trying to cheat you out of the proper
+exchange, which is _always_ ten centimes more than the brokers give you?
+What, _we_ use their beastly decimal system? Lois, I'm ashamed of you.
+An English girl to turn and rend her native country like that! Francs
+and centimes, indeed! Fancy proposing it at Peter Robinson's! No, I
+will _not_ go by the boat, my dear. I hate the Rhine boats, crowded with
+nasty selfish pigs of Germans. What _I_ like is a first-class
+compartment all to myself, and no horrid foreigners. Especially Germans.
+They're bursting with self-satisfaction--have such an exaggerated belief
+in their "land" and their "folk." And when they come to England, they do
+nothing but find fault with us. If people aren't satisfied with the
+countries they travel in, they'd better stop at home--that's _my_
+opinion. Nasty pigs of Germans! The very sight of them sickens me. Oh, I
+don't mind if they _do_ understand me, child. They all learn English
+nowadays; it helps them in trade--that's why they're driving us out of
+all the markets. But it _must_ be good for them to learn once in a way
+what other people really think of them--civilised people, I mean; not
+Germans. They're a set of barbarians.'
+
+We reached Schlangenbad alive, though I sometimes doubted it: for my old
+lady did her boisterous best to rouse some peppery German officer into
+cutting our throats incontinently by the way; and when we got there, we
+took up our abode in the nicest hotel in the village. Lady Georgina had
+engaged the best front room on the first floor, with a charming view
+across the pine-clad valley; but I must do her the justice to say that
+she took the second best for me, and that she treated me in every way
+like the guest she delighted to honour. My refusal to accept her twenty
+guineas made her anxious to pay it back to me within the terms of our
+agreement. She described me to everybody as a young friend who was
+travelling with her, and never gave any one the slightest hint of my
+being a paid companion. Our arrangement was that I was to have two
+guineas for the week, besides my travelling expenses, board, and
+lodging.
+
+On our first morning at Schlangenbad, Lady Georgina sallied forth, very
+much overdressed, and in a youthful hat, to use the waters. They are
+valued chiefly for the complexion, I learned; I wondered then why Lady
+Georgina came there--for she hadn't any; but they are also recommended
+for nervous irritability, and as Lady Georgina had visited the place
+almost every summer for fifteen years, it opened before one's mind an
+appalling vista of what her temper might have been if she had _not_ gone
+to Schlangenbad. The hot springs are used in the form of a bath. '_You_
+don't need them, my dear,' Lady Georgina said to me, with a
+good-humoured smile; and I will own that I did not, for nature has
+gifted me with a tolerable cuticle. But I like when at Rome to do as
+Rome does; so I tried the baths once. I found them unpleasantly smooth
+and oily. I do not freckle, but if I did, I think I should prefer
+freckles.
+
+We walked much on the terrace--the inevitable dawdling promenade of all
+German watering-places--it reeked of Serene Highness. We also drove out
+among the low wooded hills which bound the Rhine valley. The majority of
+the visitors, I found, were ladies--Court ladies, most of them; all
+there for their complexions, but all anxious to assure me privately they
+had come for what they described as 'nervous debility.' I divided them
+at once into two classes: half of them never had and never would have a
+complexion at all; the other half had exceptionally smooth and beautiful
+skins, of which they were obviously proud, and whose pink-and-white
+peach-blossom they thought to preserve by assiduous bathing. It was
+vanity working on two opposite bases. There was a sprinkling of men,
+however, who were really there for a sufficient reason--wounds or
+serious complaints; while a few good old sticks, porty and whisty, were
+in attendance on invalid wives or sisters.
+
+[Illustration: HE CAST A HASTY GLANCE AT US.]
+
+From the beginning I noticed that Lady Georgina went peering about all
+over the place, as if she were hunting for something she had lost, with
+her long-handled tortoise-shell glasses perpetually in evidence--the
+'aristocratic outrage' I called them--and that she eyed all the men with
+peculiar attention. But I took no open notice of her little weakness. On
+our second day at the Spa, I was sauntering with her down the chief
+street--'a beastly little hole, my dear; not a decent shop where one can
+buy a reel of thread or a yard of tape in the place!'--when I observed a
+tall and handsome young man on the opposite side of the road cast a
+hasty glance at us, and then sneak round the corner hurriedly. He was a
+loose-limbed, languid-looking young man, with large, dreamy eyes, and a
+peculiarly beautiful and gentle expression; but what I noted about him
+most was an odd superficial air of superciliousness. He seemed always to
+be looking down with scorn on that foolish jumble, the universe. He
+darted away so rapidly, however, that I hardly discovered all this just
+then. I piece it out from subsequent observations.
+
+Later in the day, we chanced to pass a _cafe_, where three young
+exquisites sat sipping Rhine wines after the fashion of the country. One
+of them, with a gold-tipped cigarette held gracefully between two
+slender fingers, was my languid-looking young aristocrat. He was blowing
+out smoke in a lazy blue stream. The moment he saw me, however, he
+turned away as if he desired to escape observation, and ducked down so
+as to hide his face behind his companions. I wondered why on earth he
+should want to avoid me. Could this be the Count? No, the young man with
+the halo of cigarette smoke stood three inches taller. Who, then, at
+Schlangenbad could wish to avoid my notice? It was a singular mystery;
+for I was quite certain the supercilious young man was trying his best
+to prevent my seeing him.
+
+That evening, after dinner, the Cantankerous Old Lady burst out
+suddenly, 'Well, I can't for the life of me imagine why Harold hasn't
+turned up here. The wretch knew I was coming; and I heard from our
+Ambassador at Rome last week that he was going to be at Schlangenbad.'
+
+'Who is Harold?' I asked.
+
+'My nephew,' Lady Georgina snapped back, beating a devil's tattoo with
+her fan on the table. 'The only member of my family, except myself, who
+isn't a born idiot. Harold's not an idiot; he's an _attache_ at Rome.'
+
+I saw it at a glance. 'Then he _is_ in Schlangenbad,' I answered. 'I
+noticed him this morning.'
+
+The old lady turned towards me sharply. She peered right through me, as
+if she were a Roentgen ray. I could see she was asking herself whether
+this was a conspiracy, and whether I had come there on purpose to meet
+'Harold.' But I flatter myself I am tolerably mistress of my own
+countenance. I did not blench. 'How do you know?' she asked quickly,
+with an acid intonation.
+
+If I had answered the truth, I should have said, 'I know he is here,
+because I saw a good-looking young man evidently trying to avoid you
+this morning; and if a young man has the misfortune to be born your
+nephew, and also to have expectations from you, it is easy to understand
+that he would prefer to keep out of your way as long as possible.' But
+that would have been neither polite nor politic. Moreover, I reflected
+that I had no particular reason for wishing to do Mr. Harold a bad turn;
+and that it would be kinder to him, as well as to her, to conceal the
+reasons on which I based my instinctive inference. So I took up a strong
+strategic position. 'I have an intuition that I saw him in the village
+this morning,' I said. 'Family likeness, perhaps. I merely jumped at it
+as you spoke. A tall, languid young man; large, poetical eyes; an
+artistic moustache--just a trifle Oriental-looking.'
+
+'That's Harold!' the Cantankerous Old Lady rapped out sharply, with
+clear conviction. 'The miserable boy! Why on earth hasn't he been round
+to see me?'
+
+I reflected that I knew why; but I did not say so. Silence is golden. I
+also remarked mentally on that curious human blindness which had made me
+conclude at first that the supercilious young man was trying to avoid
+_me_, when I might have guessed it was far more likely he was trying to
+avoid my companion. I was a nobody; Lady Georgina Fawley was a woman of
+European reputation.
+
+'Perhaps he didn't know which hotel you were stopping at,' I put in. 'Or
+even that you were here.' I felt a sudden desire to shield poor Harold.
+
+'Not know which hotel? Nonsense, child; he knows I come here on this
+precise date regularly every summer; and if he didn't know, is it likely
+I should try any other inn, when this is the only moderately decent
+house to stop at in Schlangenbad? And the morning coffee undrinkable at
+that; while the hash--_such_ hash! But that's the way in Germany. He's
+an ungrateful monster; if he comes now, I shall refuse to see him.'
+
+[Illustration: HAROLD, YOU VIPER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TRYING TO AVOID
+ME?]
+
+Next morning after breakfast, however, in spite of these threats, she
+hailed me forth with her on the Harold hunt. She had sent the
+_concierge_ to inquire at all the hotels already, it seemed, and found
+her truant at none of them; now she ransacked the _pensions_. At last
+she hunted him down in a house on the hill. I could see she was really
+hurt. 'Harold, you viper, what do you mean by trying to avoid me?'
+
+'My dear aunt, _you_ here in Schlangenbad! Why, when did you arrive? And
+what a colour you've got! You're looking _so_ well!' That clever thrust
+saved him.
+
+He cast me an appealing glance. 'You will not betray me?' it said. I
+answered, mutely, 'Not for worlds,' with a faltering pair of downcast
+eyelids.
+
+'Oh, I'm _well_ enough, thank you,' Lady Georgina replied, somewhat
+mollified by his astute allusion to her personal appearance. He had hit
+her weak point dexterously. 'As well, that is, as one can expect to be
+nowadays. Hereditary gout--the sins of the fathers visited as usual. But
+why didn't you come to see me?'
+
+'How can I come to see you if you don't tell me where you are? "Lady
+Georgina Fawley, Europe," was the only address I knew. It strikes me as
+insufficient.'
+
+His gentle drawl was a capital foil to Lady Georgina's acidulous
+soprano. It seemed to disarm her. She turned to me with a benignant wave
+of her hand. 'Miss Cayley,' she said, introducing me; 'my nephew, Mr.
+Harold Tillington. You've heard me talk of poor Tom Cayley, Harold? This
+is poor Tom Cayley's daughter.'
+
+'Indeed?' the supercilious _attache_ put in, looking hard at me.
+'Delighted to make Miss Cayley's acquaintance.'
+
+'Now, Harold, I can tell from your voice at once you haven't remembered
+one word about Captain Cayley.'
+
+Harold stood on the defensive. 'My dear aunt,' he observed, expanding
+both palms, 'I have heard you talk of so _very_ many people, that even
+_my_ diplomatic memory fails at times to recollect them all. But I do
+better: I dissemble. I will plead forgetfulness now of Captain Cayley,
+since you force it on me. It is not likely I shall have to plead it of
+Captain Cayley's daughter.' And he bowed towards me gallantly.
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady darted a lightning glance at him. It was a
+glance of quick suspicion. Then she turned her Roentgen rays upon my face
+once more. I fear I burned crimson.
+
+'A friend?' he asked. 'Or a fellow-guest?'
+
+'A companion.' It was the first nasty thing she had said of me.
+
+'Ha! more than a friend, then. A comrade.' He turned the edge neatly.
+
+We walked out on the terrace and a little way up the zigzag path. The
+day was superb. I found Mr. Tillington, in spite of his studiously
+languid and supercilious air, a most agreeable companion. He knew
+Europe. He was full of talk of Rome and the Romans. He had epigrammatic
+wit, curt, keen, and pointed. We sat down on a bench; he kept Lady
+Georgina and myself amused for an hour by his crisp sallies. Besides, he
+had been everywhere and seen everybody. Culture and agriculture seemed
+all one to him.
+
+When we rose to go in, Lady Georgina remarked, with emphasis, 'Of
+course, Harold, you'll come and take up your diggings at our hotel?'
+
+'Of course, my dear aunt. How can you ask? Free quarters. Nothing would
+give me greater pleasure.'
+
+She glanced at him keenly again. I saw she had expected him to fake up
+some lame excuse for not joining us; and I fancied she was annoyed at
+his prompt acquiescence, which had done her out of the chance for a
+family disagreement. 'Oh, you'll come then?' she said, grudgingly.
+
+'Certainly, most respected aunt. I shall much prefer it.'
+
+She let her piercing eye descend upon me once more. I was aware that I
+had been talking with frank ease of manner to Mr. Tillington, and that I
+had said several things which clearly amused him. Then I remembered all
+at once our relative positions. A companion, I felt, should know her
+place: it is not her _role_ to be smart and amusing. 'Perhaps,' I said,
+drawing back, 'Mr. Tillington would like to remain in his present
+quarters till the end of the week, while I am with you, Lady Georgina;
+after that, he could have my room; it might be more convenient.'
+
+His eye caught mine quickly. 'Oh, you're only going to stop a week,
+then, Miss Cayley?' he put in, with an air of disappointment.
+
+'Only a week,' I nodded.
+
+'My dear child,' the Cantankerous Old Lady broke out, 'what nonsense you
+do talk! Only going to stop a week? How can I exist without you?'
+
+'That was the arrangement,' I said, mischievously. 'You were going to
+look about, you recollect, for an unsophisticated Gretchen. You don't
+happen to know of any warehouse where a supply of unsophisticated
+Gretchens is kept constantly in stock, do you, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'No, I don't,' he answered, laughing. 'I believe there are dodos and
+auks' eggs, in very small numbers, still to be procured in the proper
+quarters; but the unsophisticated Gretchen, I am credibly informed, is
+an extinct animal. Why, the cap of one fetches high prices nowadays
+among collectors.'
+
+'But you will come to the hotel at once, Harold?' Lady Georgina
+interposed.
+
+'Certainly, aunt. I will move in without delay. If Miss Cayley is going
+to stay for a single week only, that adds one extra inducement for
+joining you immediately.'
+
+His aunt's stony eye was cold as marble.
+
+So when we got back to our hotel after the baths that afternoon, the
+_concierge_ greeted us with: 'Well, your noble nephew has arrived,
+high-well-born countess! He came with his boxes just now, and has taken
+a room near your honourable ladyship's.'
+
+Lady Georgina's face was a study of mingled emotions. I don't know
+whether she looked more pleased or jealous.
+
+Later in the day, I chanced on Mr. Tillington, sunning himself on a
+bench in the hotel garden. He rose, and came up to me, as fast as his
+languid nature permitted. 'Oh, Miss Cayley,' he said, abruptly, 'I do
+want to thank you so much for not betraying me. I know you spotted me
+twice in the town yesterday; and I also know you were good enough to say
+nothing to my revered aunt about it.'
+
+'I had no reason for wishing to hurt Lady Georgina's feelings,' I
+answered, with a permissible evasion.
+
+His countenance fell. 'I never thought of that,' he interposed, with one
+hand on his moustache. 'I-- I fancied you did it out of fellow-feeling.'
+
+'We all think of things mainly from our own point of view first,' I
+answered. 'The difference is that some of us think of them from other
+people's afterwards. Motives are mixed.'
+
+He smiled. 'I didn't know my deeply venerated relative was coming here
+so soon,' he went on. 'I thought she wasn't expected till next week; my
+brother wrote me that she had quarrelled with her French maid, and
+'twould take her full ten days to get another. I meant to clear out
+before she arrived. To tell you the truth, I was going to-morrow.'
+
+'And now you are stopping on?'
+
+He caught my eye again.
+
+[Illustration: CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES, HE MURMURED.]
+
+'Circumstances alter cases,' he murmured, with meaning.
+
+'It is hardly polite to describe one as a circumstance,' I objected.
+
+'I meant,' he said, quickly, 'my aunt alone is one thing; my aunt with a
+friend is quite another.'
+
+'I see,' I answered. 'There is safety in numbers.'
+
+He eyed me hard.
+
+'Are you mediaeval or modern?' he asked.
+
+'Modern, I hope,' I replied. Then I looked at him again. 'Oxford?'
+
+He nodded. 'And you?' half joking.
+
+'Cambridge,' I said, glad to catch him out. 'What college?'
+
+'Merton. Yours?'
+
+'Girton.'
+
+The odd rhyme amused him. Thenceforth we were friends--'two 'Varsity
+men,' he said. And indeed it does make a queer sort of link--a
+freemasonry to which even women are now admitted.
+
+At dinner and through the evening he talked a great deal to me, Lady
+Georgina putting in from time to time a characteristic growl about the
+_table-d'hote_ chicken--'a special breed, my dear, with eight drumsticks
+apiece'--or about the inadequate lighting of the heavy German _salon_.
+She was worse than ever: pungent as a rule, that evening she was grumpy.
+When we retired for the night, to my great surprise, she walked into my
+bedroom. She seated herself on my bed: I saw she had come to talk over
+Harold.
+
+'He will be very rich, my dear, you know. A great catch in time. He will
+inherit all my brother's money.'
+
+'Lord Kynaston's?'
+
+'Bless the child, no. Kynaston's as poor as a church mouse with the
+tithes unpaid; he has three sons of his own, and not a blessed stiver to
+leave between them. How could he, poor dear idiot? Agricultural
+depression; a splendid pauper. He has only the estate, and that's in
+Essex; land going begging; worth nothing a year, encumbered up to the
+eyes, and loaded with first rent-charges, jointures, settlements. Money,
+indeed! poor Kynaston! It's my brother Marmaduke's I mean; lucky dog,
+_he_ went in for speculation--began life as a guinea-pig, and rose with
+the rise of soap and cocoa. He's worth his half-million.'
+
+'Oh, Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst'
+
+Lady Georgina nodded. 'Marmy's a fool,' she said, briefly; 'but he knows
+which side of his bread is buttered.'
+
+'And Mr. Tillington is--his nephew?'
+
+'Bless the child, yes; have you never read your British Bible, the
+peerage? Astonishing, the ignorance of these Girton girls! They don't
+even know the Leger's run at Doncaster. The family name's Ashurst.
+Kynaston's an earl-- I was Lady Georgina Ashurst before I took it into
+my head to marry and do for poor Evelyn Fawley. My younger brother's the
+Honourable Marmaduke Ashurst--women get the best of it there--it's about
+the only place where they do get the best of it: an earl's daughter is
+Lady Betty; his son's nothing more than the Honourable Tom. So one
+scores off one's brothers. My younger sister, Lady Guinevere Ashurst,
+married Stanley Tillington of the Foreign Office. Harold's their eldest
+son. Now, child, do you grasp it?'
+
+'Perfectly,' I answered. 'You speak like Debrett. Has issue, Harold.'
+
+'And Harold will inherit all Marmaduke's money. What I'm always afraid
+of is that some fascinating adventuress will try to marry him out of
+hand. A pretty face, and over goes Harold! _My_ business in life is to
+stand in the way and prevent it.'
+
+She looked me through and through again with her X-ray scrutiny.
+
+'I don't think Mr. Tillington is quite the sort that falls a prey to
+adventuresses,' I answered, boldly.
+
+'Ah, but there are faggots and faggots,' the old lady said, wagging her
+head with profound meaning. 'Never mind, though; _I'd_ like to see an
+adventuress marry off Harold without my leave! _I'd_ lead her a life!
+I'd turn her black hair gray for her!'
+
+'I should think,' I assented, 'you could do it, Lady Georgina, if you
+gave your attention seriously to it.'
+
+From that moment forth, I was aware that my Cantankerous Old Lady's
+malign eye was inexorably fixed upon me every time I went within
+speaking distance of Mr. Tillington. She watched him like a lynx. She
+watched _me_ like a dozen lynxes. Wherever we went, Lady Georgina was
+sure to turn up in the neighbourhood. She was perfectly ubiquitous: she
+seemed to possess a world-wide circulation. I don't know whether it was
+this constant suggestion of hers that I was stalking her nephew which
+roused my latent human feeling of opposition; but in the end, I began to
+be aware that I rather liked the supercilious _attache_ than otherwise.
+He evidently liked me, and he tried to meet me. Whenever he spoke to me,
+indeed, it was without the superciliousness which marked his manner
+towards others; in point of fact, it was with graceful deference. He
+watched for me on the stairs, in the garden, by the terrace; whenever he
+got a chance, he sidled over and talked to me. Sometimes he stopped in
+to read me Heine: he also introduced me to select portions of Gabriele
+d'Annunzio. It is feminine to be touched by such obvious attention; I
+confess, before long, I grew to like Mr. Harold Tillington.
+
+The closer he followed me up, the more did I perceive that Lady Georgina
+threw out acrid hints with increasing spleen about the ways of
+adventuresses. They were hints of that acrimonious generalised kind,
+too, which one cannot answer back without seeming to admit that the cap
+has fitted. It was atrocious how middle-class young women nowadays ran
+after young men of birth and fortune. A girl would stoop to anything in
+order to catch five hundred thousand. Guileless youths should be thrown
+among their natural equals. It was a mistake to let them see too much of
+people of a lower rank who consider themselves good-looking. And the
+clever ones were the worst: they pretended to go in for intellectual
+companionship.
+
+I also noticed that though at first Lady Georgina had expressed the
+strongest disinclination to my leaving her after the time originally
+proposed, she now began to take for granted that I would go at the end
+of my week, as arranged in London, and she even went on to some overt
+steps towards securing the help of the blameless Gretchen.
+
+We had arrived at Schlangenbad on Tuesday. I was to stop with the
+Cantankerous Old Lady till the corresponding day of the following week.
+On the Sunday, I wandered out on the wooded hillside behind the village;
+and as I mounted the path I was dimly aware by a sort of instinct that
+Harold Tillington was following me.
+
+He came up with me at last near a ledge of rock. 'How fast you walk!' he
+exclaimed. 'I gave you only a few minutes' start, and yet even my long
+legs have had hard work to overtake you.'
+
+'I am a fairly good climber,' I answered, sitting down on a little
+wooden bench. 'You see, at Cambridge, I went on the river a great deal--
+I canoed and sculled: and then, besides, I've done a lot of bicycling.'
+
+'What a splendid birthright it is,' he cried, 'to be a wholesome
+athletic English girl! You can't think how one admires English girls
+after living a year or two in Italy--where women are dolls, except for a
+brief period of intrigue, before they settle down to be contented frumps
+with an outline like a barrel.'
+
+'A little muscle and a little mind are no doubt advisable adjuncts for a
+housewife,' I admitted.
+
+'You shall not say that word,' he cried, seating himself at my side. 'It
+is a word for Germans, "housewife." Our English ideal is something
+immeasurably higher and better. A companion, a complement! Do you know,
+Miss Cayley, it always sickens me when I hear German students
+sentimentalising over their _maedchen_: their beautiful, pure, insipid,
+yellow-haired, blue-eyed _maedchen_; her, so fair, so innocent, so
+unapproachably vacuous--so like a wax doll--and then think of how they
+design her in days to come to cook sausages for their dinner, and knit
+them endless stockings through a placid middle age, till the needles
+drop from her paralysed fingers, and she retires into frilled caps and
+Teutonic senility.'
+
+'You seem to have almost as low an opinion of foreigners as your
+respected aunt!' I exclaimed, looking quizzically at him.
+
+He drew back, surprised. 'Oh, no; I'm not narrow-minded, like my aunt, I
+hope,' he answered. 'I am a good cosmopolitan. I allow Continental
+nations all their own good points, and each has many. But their women,
+Miss Cayley--and their point of view of their women--you will admit that
+there they can't hold a candle to English women.'
+
+I drew a circle in the dust with the tip of my parasol.
+
+'On that issue, I may not be a wholly unprejudiced observer,' I
+answered. 'The fact of my being myself an Englishwoman may possibly to
+some extent influence my judgment.'
+
+'You are sarcastic,' he cried, drawing away.
+
+'Not at all,' I answered, making a wider circle. 'I spoke a simple fact.
+But what is _your_ ideal, then, as opposed to the German one?'
+
+He gazed at me and hesitated. His lips half parted. 'My ideal?' he said,
+after a pause. 'Well, _my_ ideal--do you happen to have such a thing as
+a pocket-mirror about you?'
+
+I laughed in spite of myself. 'Now, Mr. Tillington,' I said severely,
+'if you're going to pay compliments, I shall have to return. If you want
+to stop here with me, you must remember that I am only Lady Georgina
+Fawley's temporary lady's-maid. Besides, I didn't mean that. I meant,
+what is your ideal of a man's right relation to his _maedchen_?'
+
+'Don't say _maedchen_,' he cried, petulantly. 'It sounds as if you
+thought me one of those sentimental Germans. I hate sentiment.'
+
+'Then, towards the woman of his choice.'
+
+He glanced up through the trees at the light overhead, and spoke more
+slowly than ever. 'I think,' he said, fumbling his watch-chain
+nervously, 'a man ought to wish the woman he loves to be a free agent,
+his equal in point of action, even as she is nobler and better than he
+in all spiritual matters. I think he ought to desire for her a life as
+high as she is capable of leading, with full scope for every faculty of
+her intellect or her emotional nature. She should be beautiful, with a
+vigorous, wholesome, many-sided beauty, moral, intellectual, physical;
+yet with soul in her, too; and with the soul and the mind lighting up
+her eyes, as it lights up--well, that is immaterial. And if a man can
+discover such a woman as that, and can induce her to believe in him, to
+love him, to accept him--though how such a woman can be satisfied with
+any man at all is to me unfathomable--well, then, I think he should be
+happy in devoting his whole life to her, and should give himself up to
+repay her condescension in taking him.'
+
+'And you hate sentiment!' I put in, smiling.
+
+[Illustration: MISS CAYLEY, HE SAID, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME.]
+
+He brought his eyes back from the sky suddenly. 'Miss Cayley,' he said,
+'this is cruel. I was in earnest. You are playing with me.'
+
+'I believe the chief characteristic of the English girl is supposed to
+be common sense,' I answered, calmly, 'and I trust I possess it.' But
+indeed, as he spoke, my heart was beginning to make its beat felt; for
+he was a charming young man; he had a soft voice and lustrous eyes; it
+was a summer's day; and alone in the woods with one other person, where
+the sunlight falls mellow in spots like a leopard's skin, one is apt to
+remember that we are all human.
+
+That evening Lady Georgina managed to blurt out more malicious things
+than ever about the ways of adventuresses, and the duty of relations in
+saving young men from the clever clutches of designing creatures. She
+was ruthless in her rancour: her gibes stung me.
+
+On Monday at breakfast I asked her casually if she had yet found a
+Gretchen.
+
+'No,' she answered, in a gloomy voice. 'All slatterns, my dear; all
+slatterns! Brought up in pig-sties. I wouldn't let one of them touch my
+hair for thousands.'
+
+'That's unfortunate,' I said, drily, 'for you know I'm going to-morrow.'
+
+If I had dropped a bomb in their midst they couldn't have looked more
+astonished. 'To-morrow?' Lady Georgina gasped, clutching my arm. 'You
+don't mean it, child; you don't mean it?'
+
+I asserted my Ego. 'Certainly,' I answered, with my coolest air. 'I said
+I thought I could manage you for a week; and I have managed you.'
+
+She almost burst into tears. 'But, my child, my child, what shall I do
+without you?'
+
+'The unsophisticated Gretchen,' I answered, trying not to look
+concerned; for in my heart of hearts, in spite of her innuendoes, I had
+really grown rather to like the Cantankerous Old Lady.
+
+She rose hastily from the table, and darted up to her own room. 'Lois,'
+she said, as she rose, in a curious voice of mingled regret and
+suspicion, 'I will talk to you about this later.' I could see she was
+not quite satisfied in her own mind whether Harold Tillington and I had
+not arranged this _coup_ together.
+
+I put on my hat and strolled off into the garden, and then along the
+mossy hill path. In a minute more, Harold Tillington was beside me.
+
+He seated me, half against my will, on a rustic bench. 'Look here, Miss
+Cayley,' he said, with a very earnest face; 'is this really true? Are
+you going to-morrow?'
+
+My voice trembled a little. 'Yes,' I answered, biting my lip. 'I am
+going. I see several reasons why I should go, Mr. Tillington.'
+
+'But so soon?'
+
+'Yes, I think so; the sooner the better.' My heart was racing now, and
+his eyes pleaded mutely.
+
+'Then where are you going?'
+
+I shrugged my shoulders, and pouted my lips a little. 'I don't know,' I
+replied. 'The world is all before me where to choose. I am an
+adventuress,' I said it boldly, 'and I am in quest of adventures. I
+really have not yet given a thought to my next place of sojourn.'
+
+'But you will let me know when you have decided?'
+
+It was time to speak out. 'No, Mr. Tillington,' I said, with decision.
+'I will _not_ let you know. One of my reasons for going is, that I think
+I had better see no more of you.'
+
+He flung himself on the bench at my side, and folded his hands in a
+helpless attitude. 'But, Miss Cayley,' he cried, 'this is so short a
+notice; you give a fellow no chance; I hoped I might have seen more of
+you--might have had some opportunity of--of letting you realise how
+deeply I admired and respected you--some opportunity of showing myself
+as I really am to you--before--before----' he paused, and looked hard at
+me.
+
+I did not know what to say. I really liked him so much; and when he
+spoke in that voice, I could not bear to seem cruel to him. Indeed, I
+was aware at the moment how much I had grown to care for him in those
+six short days. But I knew it was impossible. 'Don't say it, Mr.
+Tillington,' I murmured, turning my face away. 'The less said, the
+sooner mended.'
+
+'But I must,' he cried. 'I must tell you now, if I am to have no chance
+afterwards. I wanted you to see more of me before I ventured to ask you
+if you could ever love me, if you could ever suffer me to go through
+life with you, to share my all with you.' He seized my trembling hand.
+'Lois,' he cried, in a pleading voice, 'I _must_ ask you; I can't expect
+you to answer me now, but _do_ say you will give me at least some other
+chance of seeing you, and then, in time, of pressing my suit upon you.'
+
+Tears stood in my eyes. He was so earnest, so charming. But I remembered
+Lady Georgina, and his prospective half-million. I moved his hand away
+gently. 'I cannot,' I said. 'I cannot-- I am a penniless girl--an
+adventuress. Your family, your uncle, would never forgive you if you
+married me. I will not stand in your way. I-- I like you very much,
+though I have seen so little of you. But I feel it is impossible--and I
+am going to-morrow.'
+
+[Illustration: I ROSE OF A SUDDEN, AND RAN DOWN THE HILL.]
+
+Then I rose of a sudden, and ran down the hill with all my might, lest I
+should break my resolve, never stopping once till I reached my own
+bedroom.
+
+An hour later, Lady Georgina burst in upon me in high dudgeon. 'Why,
+Lois, my child,' she cried. 'What's this? What on earth does it mean?
+Harold tells me he has proposed to you--proposed to you--and you've
+rejected him!'
+
+I dried my eyes and tried to look steadily at her. 'Yes, Lady Georgina,'
+I faltered. 'You need not be afraid. I have refused him; and I mean it.'
+
+She looked at me, all aghast. '_And_ you mean it!' she repeated. 'You
+mean to refuse him. Then, all I can say is, Lois Cayley, I call it pure
+cheek of you!'
+
+'What?' I cried, drawing back.
+
+'Yes, cheek,' she answered, volubly. 'Forty thousand a year, and a
+good old family! Harold Tillington is my nephew; he's an earl's
+grandson; he's an _attache_ at Rome; and he's bound to be one of the
+richest commoners in England. Who are you, I'd like to know, miss, that
+you dare to reject him?'
+
+I stared at her, amazed. 'But, Lady Georgina,' I cried, 'you said you
+wished to protect your nephew against bare-faced adventuresses who were
+setting their caps at him.'
+
+She fixed her eyes on me, half-angry, half-tremulous.
+
+'Of course,' she answered, with withering scorn. 'But, _then_, I thought
+you were trying to catch him. He tells me now you won't have him, and
+you won't tell him where you are going. I call it sheer insolence. Where
+do you hail from, girl, that you should refuse my nephew? A man that any
+woman in England would be proud to marry! Forty thousand a year, and an
+earl's grandson! That's what comes, I suppose, of going to Girton!'
+
+I drew myself up. 'Lady Georgina,' I said, coldly, 'I cannot allow you
+to use such language to me. I promised to accompany you to Germany for a
+week; and I have kept my word. I like your nephew; I respect your
+nephew; he has behaved like a gentleman. But I will _not_ marry him.
+Your own conduct showed me in the plainest way that you did not judge
+such a match desirable for him; and I have common sense enough to see
+that you were quite right. I am a lady by birth and education; I am an
+officer's daughter; but I am not what society calls "a good match" for
+Mr. Tillington. He had better marry into a rich stockbroker's family.'
+
+It was an unworthy taunt: the moment it escaped my lips I regretted it.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS GOING TO OPPOSE YOU AND HAROLD.]
+
+To my intense surprise, however, Lady Georgina flung herself on my bed,
+and burst into tears. 'My dear,' she sobbed out, covering her face with
+her hands, 'I thought you would be sure to set your cap at Harold; and
+after I had seen you for twenty-four hours, I said to myself, "That's
+just the sort of girl Harold ought to fall in love with." I felt sure he
+would fall in love with you. I brought you here on purpose. I saw you
+had all the qualities that would strike Harold's fancy. So I had made up
+my mind for a delightful regulation family quarrel. I was going to
+oppose you and Harold, tooth and nail; I was going to threaten that
+Marmy would leave his money to Kynaston's eldest son; I was going to
+kick up, oh, a dickens of a row about it! Then, of course, in the end,
+we should all have been reconciled; we should have kissed and made
+friends: for you're just the one girl in the world for Harold; indeed, I
+never met anybody so capable and so intelligent. And now you spoil all
+my sport by going and refusing him! It's really most ill-timed of you.
+And Harold has sent me here--he's trembling with anxiety--to see whether
+I can't induce you to think better of your decision.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I said, in my gentlest
+voice--positively stooping down and kissing her. 'I like Mr. Tillington
+very much. I dare not tell you how much I like him. He is a dear, good,
+kind fellow. But I cannot rest under the cruel imputation of being moved
+by his wealth and having tried to capture him. Even if _you_ didn't
+think so, his family would. I am sorry to go; for in a way I like you.
+But it is best to adhere to our original plan. If _I_ changed my mind,
+_you_ might change yours again. Let us say no more. I will go
+to-morrow.'
+
+'But you will see Harold again?'
+
+'Not alone. Only at dinner.' For I feared lest, if he spoke to me alone,
+he might over-persuade me.
+
+'Then at least you will tell him where you are going?'
+
+'No, Lady Georgina; I do not know myself. And besides, it is best that
+this should now be final.'
+
+She flung herself upon me. 'But, my dear child, a lady can't go out into
+the world with only two pounds in pocket. You _must_ let me lend you
+something.'
+
+I unwound her clasping hands. 'No, dear Lady Georgina,' I said, though I
+was loth to say it. 'You are very sweet and good, but I must work out my
+life in my own way. I have started to work it out, and I won't be turned
+aside just here on the threshold.'
+
+'And you won't stop with me?' she cried, opening her arms. 'You think me
+too cantankerous?'
+
+'I think you have a dear, kind old heart,' I said, 'under the quaintest
+and crustiest outside such a heart ever wore; you're a truculent old
+darling: so that's the plain truth of it.'
+
+She kissed me. I kissed her in return with fervour, though I am but a
+poor hand at kissing, for a woman. 'So now this episode is concluded,' I
+murmured.
+
+'I don't know about that,' she said, drying her eyes. 'I have set my
+heart upon you now; and Harold has set his heart upon you; and
+considering that your own heart goes much the same way, I daresay, my
+dear, we shall find in the end some convenient road out of it.'
+
+Nevertheless, next morning I set out by myself in the coach from
+Schlangenbad. I went forth into the world to live my own life, partly
+because it was just then so fashionable, but mainly because fate had
+denied me the chance of living anybody else's.
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE INQUISITIVE AMERICAN
+
+
+In one week I had multiplied my capital two hundred and forty-fold! I
+left London with twopence in the world; I quitted Schlangenbad with two
+pounds in pocket.
+
+'There's a splendid turn-over!' I thought to myself. 'If this luck
+holds, at the same rate, I shall have made four hundred and eighty
+pounds by Tuesday next, and I may look forward to being a Barney Barnato
+by Christmas.' For I had taken high mathematical honours at Cambridge,
+and if there is anything on earth on which I pride myself, it is my firm
+grasp of the principle of ratios.
+
+Still, in spite of this brilliant financial prospect, a budding
+Klondike, I went away from the little Spa on the flanks of the Taunus
+with a heavy heart. I had grown quite to like dear, virulent, fidgety
+old Lady Georgina; and I felt that it had cost me a distinct wrench to
+part with Harold Tillington. The wrench left a scar which was long in
+healing; but as I am not a professional sentimentalist, I will not
+trouble you here with details of the symptoms.
+
+My livelihood, however, was now assured me. With two pounds in pocket, a
+sensible girl can read her title clear to six days' board and lodging,
+at six marks a day, with a glorious margin of four marks over for
+pocket-money. And if at the end of six days my fairy godmother had not
+pointed me out some other means of earning my bread honestly--well, I
+should feel myself unworthy to be ranked in the noble army of
+adventuresses. I thank thee, Lady Georgina, for teaching me that word.
+An adventuress I would be; for I loved adventure.
+
+Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I might fill up the interval by going
+to study art at Frankfort. Elsie Petheridge had been there, and had
+impressed upon me the fact that I must on no account omit to see the
+Staedel Gallery. She was strong on culture. Besides, the study of art
+should be most useful to an adventuress; for she must need all the arts
+that human skill has developed.
+
+So to Frankfort I betook myself, and found there a nice little
+_pension_--'for ladies only,' Frau Bockenheifner assured me--at very
+moderate rates, in a pleasant part of the Lindenstrasse. It had dimity
+curtains. I will not deny that as I entered the house I was conscious of
+feeling lonely; my heart sank once or twice as I glanced round the
+luncheon-table at the domestically-unsympathetic German old maids who
+formed the rank-and-file of my fellow-boarders. There they sat--eight
+comfortable Fraus who had missed their vocation; plentiful ladies,
+bulging and surging in tightly stretched black silk bodices. They had
+been cut out for such housewives as Harold Tillington had described, but
+found themselves deprived of their natural sphere in life by the
+unaccountable caprice of the men of their nation. Each was a model
+Teutonic matron _manquee_. Each looked capable of frying Frankfort
+sausages to a turn, and knitting woollen socks to a remote eternity. But
+I sought in vain for one kindred soul among them. How horrified they
+would have been, with their fat pudding-faces and big saucer-eyes, had I
+boldly announced myself as an English adventuress!
+
+I spent my first morning in laborious self-education at the Ariadneum
+and the Staedel Gallery. I borrowed a catalogue. I wrestled with Van der
+Weyden; I toiled like a galley-slave at Meister Wilhelm and Meister
+Stephan. I have a confused recollection that I saw a number of stiff
+mediaeval pictures, and an alabaster statue of the lady who smiled as she
+rode on a tiger, taken at the beginning of that interesting episode. But
+the remainder of the Institute has faded from my memory.
+
+In the afternoon I consoled myself for my herculean efforts in the
+direction of culture by going out for a bicycle ride on a hired machine,
+to which end I decided to devote my pocket-money. You will, perhaps,
+object here that my conduct was imprudent. To raise that objection is to
+misunderstand the spirit of these artless adventures. I told you that I
+set out to go round the world; but to go round the world does not
+necessarily mean to circumnavigate it. My idea was to go round by easy
+stages, seeing the world as I went as far as I got, and taking as little
+heed as possible of the morrow. Most of my readers, no doubt, accept
+that philosophy of life on Sundays only; on week-days they swallow the
+usual contradictory economic platitudes about prudential forethought and
+the horrid improvidence of the lower classes. For myself, I am not built
+that way. I prefer to take life in a spirit of pure inquiry. I put on my
+hat: I saunter where I choose, so far as circumstances permit; and I
+wait to see what chance will bring me. My ideal is breeziness.
+
+The hired bicycle was not a bad machine, as hired bicycles go; it jolted
+one as little as you can expect from a common hack; it never stopped at
+a Bier-Garten; and it showed very few signs of having been ridden by
+beginners with an unconquerable desire to tilt at the hedgerow. So off
+I soared at once, heedless of the jeers of Teutonic youth who found the
+sight of a lady riding a cycle in skirts a strange one--for in South
+Germany the 'rational' costume is so universal among women cyclists that
+'tis the skirt that provokes unfavourable comment from those jealous
+guardians of female propriety, the street boys. I hurried on at a brisk
+pace past the Palm-Garden and the suburbs, with my loose hair straying
+on the breeze behind, till I found myself pedalling at a good round pace
+on a broad, level road, which led towards a village, by name Fraunheim.
+
+As I scurried across the plain, with the wind in my face, not
+unpleasantly, I had some dim consciousness of somebody unknown flying
+after me headlong. My first idea was that Harold Tillington had hunted
+me down and tracked me to my lair; but gazing back, I saw my pursuer was
+a tall and ungainly man, with a straw-coloured moustache, apparently
+American, and that he was following me on his machine, closely watching
+my action. He had such a cunning expression on his face, and seemed so
+strangely inquisitive, with eyes riveted on my treadles, that I didn't
+quite like the look of him. I put on the pace, to see if I could
+outstrip him, for I am a swift cyclist. But his long legs were too much
+for me. He did not gain on me, it is true; but neither did I outpace
+him. Pedalling my very hardest--and I can make good time when
+necessary--I still kept pretty much at the same distance in front of him
+all the way to Fraunheim.
+
+[Illustration: HE KEPT CLOSE AT MY HEELS.]
+
+Gradually I began to feel sure that the weedy-looking man with the alert
+face was really pursuing me. When I went faster, he went faster too;
+when I gave him a chance to pass me, he kept close at my heels, and
+appeared to be keenly watching the style of my ankle-action. I gathered
+that he was a connoisseur; but why on earth he should persecute me I
+could not imagine. My spirit was roused now-- I pedalled with a will; if
+I rode all day I would not let him go past me.
+
+Beyond the cobble-paved chief street of Fraunheim the road took a sharp
+bend, and began to mount the slopes of the Taunus suddenly. It was an
+abrupt, steep climb; but I flatter myself I am a tolerable mountain
+cyclist. I rode sturdily on; my pursuer darted after me. But on this
+stiff upward grade my light weight and agile ankle-action told; I began
+to distance him. He seemed afraid that I would give him the slip, and
+called out suddenly, with a whoop, in English, 'Stop, miss!' I looked
+back with dignity, but answered nothing. He put on the pace, panting; I
+pedalled away, and got clear from him.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS PULLED UP SHORT BY A MOUNTED POLICEMAN.]
+
+At a turn of the corner, however, as luck would have it, I was pulled up
+short by a mounted policeman. He blocked the road with his horse, like
+an ogre, and asked me, in a very gruff Swabian voice, if this was a
+licensed bicycle. I had no idea, till he spoke, that any license was
+required; though to be sure I might have guessed it; for modern Germany
+is studded with notices at all the street corners, to inform you in
+minute detail that everything is forbidden. I stammered out that I did
+not know. The mounted policeman drew near and inspected me rudely. 'It
+is strongly undersaid,' he began, but just at that moment my pursuer
+came up, and, with American quickness, took in the situation. He
+accosted the policeman in choice bad German. 'I have two licenses,' he
+said, producing a handful. 'The Fraeulein rides with me.'
+
+I was too much taken aback at so providential an interposition to
+contradict this highly imaginative statement. My highwayman had turned
+into a protecting knight-errant of injured innocence. I let the
+policeman go his way; then I glanced at my preserver. A very ordinary
+modern St. George he looked, with no lance to speak of, and no steed but
+a bicycle. Yet his mien was reassuring.
+
+'Good morning, miss,' he began--he called me 'Miss' every time he
+addressed me, as though he took me for a barmaid. 'Ex-cuse _me_, but why
+did you want to speed her?'
+
+'I thought you were pursuing me,' I answered, a little tremulous, I will
+confess, but avid of incident.
+
+'And if I was,' he went on, 'you might have con-jectured, miss, it was
+for our mutual advantage. A business man don't go out of his way unless
+he expects to turn an honest dollar; and he don't reckon on other folks
+going out of theirs, unless he knows he can put them in the way of
+turning an honest dollar with him.'
+
+'That's reasonable,' I answered: for I am a political economist. 'The
+benefit should be mutual.' But I wondered if he was going to propose at
+sight to me.
+
+He looked me all up and down. 'You're a lady of con-siderable personal
+attractions,' he said, musingly, as if he were criticising a horse; 'and
+I want one that sort. That's jest why I trailed you, see? Besides which,
+there's some style about you.'
+
+'Style!' I repeated.
+
+'Yes,' he went on; 'you know how to use your feet; and you have good
+understandings.'
+
+I gathered from his glance that he referred to my nether limbs. We are
+all vertebrate animals; why seek to conceal the fact?
+
+'I fail to follow you,' I answered frigidly; for I really didn't know
+what the man might say next.
+
+[Illustration: SEEMS I DIDN'T MAKE MUCH OF A JOB OF IT.]
+
+'That's so!' he replied. 'It was _I_ that followed _you_; seems I didn't
+make much of a job of it, either, anyway.'
+
+I mounted my machine again. 'Well, good morning,' I said, coldy. 'I am
+much obliged for your kind assistance; but your remark was fictitious,
+and I desire to go on unaccompanied.'
+
+He held up his hand in warning. 'You ain't going!' he cried, horrified.
+'You ain't going without hearing me! I mean business, say! Don't chuck
+away good money like that. I tell you, there's dollars in it.'
+
+'In what?' I asked, still moving on, but curious. On the slope, if need
+were, I could easily distance him.
+
+'Why, in this cycling of yours,' he replied. 'You're jest about the very
+woman I'm looking for, miss. Lithe--that's what I call you. I kin put
+you in the way of making your pile, I kin. This is a _bona-fide_ offer.
+No flies on _my_ business! You decline it? Prejudice! Injures you;
+injures me! Be reasonable anyway!'
+
+I looked round and laughed. 'Formulate yourself,' I said, briefly.
+
+He rose to it like a man. 'Meet me at Fraunheim; corner by the Post
+Office; ten o'clock to-morrow morning,' he shouted, as I rode off, 'and
+ef I don't convince you there's money in this job, my name's not Cyrus
+W. Hitchcock.'
+
+Something about his keen, unlovely face impressed me with a sense of his
+underlying honesty. 'Very well,' I answered,'I'll come, if you follow me
+no further.' I reflected that Fraunheim was a populous village, and that
+only beyond it did the mountain road over the Taunus begin to grow
+lonely. If he wished to cut my throat, I was well within reach of the
+resources of civilisation.
+
+When I got home to the Abode of Blighted Fraus that evening, I debated
+seriously with myself whether or not I should accept Mr. Cyrus W.
+Hitchcock's mysterious invitation. Prudence said _no_; curiosity said
+_yes_; I put the question to a meeting of one; and, since I am a
+daughter of Eve, curiosity had it. Carried unanimously. I think I might
+have hesitated, indeed, had it not been for the Blighted Fraus. Their
+talk was of dinner and of the digestive process; they were critics of
+digestion. They each of them sat so complacently through the
+evening--solid and stolid, stodgy and podgy, stuffed comatose images,
+knitting white woollen shawls, to throw over their capacious shoulders
+at _table d'hote_--and they purred with such content in their
+middle-aged rotundity that I made up my mind I must take warning
+betimes, and avoid their temptations to adipose deposit. I prefer to
+grow upwards; the Frau grows sideways. Better get my throat cut by an
+American desperado, in my pursuit of romance, than settle down on a rock
+like a placid fat oyster. I am not by nature sessile.
+
+Adventures are to the adventurous. They abound on every side; but only
+the chosen few have the courage to embrace them. And they will not come
+to you: you must go out to seek them. Then they meet you half-way, and
+rush into your arms, for they know their true lovers. There were eight
+Blighted Fraus at the Home for Lost Ideals, and I could tell by simple
+inspection that they had not had an average of half an adventure per
+lifetime between them. They sat and knitted still, like Awful Examples.
+
+If I had declined to meet Mr. Hitchcock at Fraunheim, I know not what
+changes it might have induced in my life. I might now be knitting. But I
+went boldly forth, on a voyage of exploration, prepared to accept aught
+that fate held in store for me.
+
+As Mr. Hitchcock had assured me there was money in his offer, I felt
+justified in speculating. I expended another three marks on the hire of
+a bicycle, though I ran the risk thereby of going perhaps without
+Monday's dinner. That showed my vocation. The Blighted Fraus, I felt
+sure, would have clung to their dinner at all hazards.
+
+When I arrived at Fraunheim, I found my alert American punctually there
+before me. He raised his crush hat with awkward politeness. I could see
+he was little accustomed to ladies' society. Then he pointed to a close
+cab in which he had reached the village.
+
+'I've got it inside,' he whispered, in a confidential tone. 'I couldn't
+let 'em ketch sight of it. You see, there's dollars in it.'
+
+'What have you got inside?' I asked, suspiciously, drawing back. I don't
+know why, but the word 'it' somehow suggested a corpse. I began to grow
+frightened.
+
+'Why, the wheel, of course,' he answered. 'Ain't you come here to ride
+it?'
+
+'Oh, the wheel?' I echoed, vaguely, pretending to look wise; but
+unaware, as yet, that that word was the accepted Americanism for a
+cycle. 'And I have come to ride it?'
+
+'Why, certainly,' he replied, jerking his hand towards the cab. 'But we
+mustn't start right here. This thing has got to be kept dark, don't you
+see, till the last day.'
+
+Till the last day! That was ominous. It sounded like monomania. So
+ghostly and elusive! I began to suspect my American ally of being a
+dangerous madman.
+
+'Jest you wheel away a bit up the hill,' he went on, 'out o' sight of
+the folks, and I'll fetch her along to you.'
+
+'Her?' I cried. 'Who?' For the man bewildered me.
+
+'Why, the wheel, miss! _You_ understand! This is business, you bet! And
+you're jest the right woman!'
+
+He motioned me on. Urged by a sort of spell, I remounted my machine and
+rode out of the village. He followed, on the box-seat of his cab. Then,
+when we had left the world well behind, and stood among the sun-smitten
+boles of the pine-trees, he opened the door mysteriously, and produced
+from the vehicle a very odd-looking bicycle.
+
+It was clumsy to look at. It differed immensely, in many particulars,
+from any machine I had yet seen or ridden.
+
+The strenuous American fondled it for a moment with his hand, as if it
+were a pet child. Then he mounted nimbly. Pride shone in his eye. I saw
+in a second he was a fond inventor.
+
+He rode a few yards on. Next he turned to me eagerly. 'This ma-chine,'
+he said, in an impressive voice, '_is_ pro-pelled _by_ an eccentric.'
+Like all his countrymen, he laid most stress on unaccented syllables.
+
+'Oh, I knew you were an eccentric,' I said, 'the moment I set eyes upon
+you.'
+
+He surveyed me gravely. 'You misunderstand me, miss,' he corrected.
+'_When_ I say an eccentric, I mean, a crank.'
+
+'They are much the same thing,' I answered, briskly. 'Though I confess I
+would hardly have applied so rude a word as _crank_ to you.'
+
+He looked me over suspiciously, as if I were trying to make game of him,
+but my face was sphinx-like. So he brought the machine a yard or two
+nearer, and explained its construction to me. He was quite right: it
+_was_ driven by a crank. It had no chain, but was moved by a pedal,
+working narrowly up and down, and attached to a rigid bar, which
+impelled the wheels by means of an eccentric.
+
+Besides this, it had a curious device for altering the gearing
+automatically while one rode, so as to enable one to adapt it to the
+varying slope in mounting hills. This part of the mechanism he explained
+to me elaborately. There was a gauge in front which allowed one to sight
+the steepness of the slope by mere inspection; and according as the
+gauge marked one, two, three, or four, as its gradient on the scale,
+the rider pressed a button on the handle-bar with his left hand once,
+twice, thrice, or four times, so that the gearing adapted itself without
+an effort to the rise in the surface. Besides, there were devices for
+rigidity and compensation. Altogether, it was a most apt and ingenious
+piece of mechanism. I did not wonder he was proud of it.
+
+'Get up and ride, miss,' he said in a persuasive voice.
+
+I did as I was bid. To my immense surprise, I ran up the steep hill as
+smoothly and easily as if it were a perfectly-laid level.
+
+'Goes nicely, doesn't she?' Mr. Hitchcock murmured, rubbing his hands.
+
+'Beautifully,' I answered. 'One could ride such a machine up Mont Blanc,
+I should fancy.'
+
+He stroked his chin with nervous fingers. 'It ought to knock 'em,' he
+said, in an eager voice. 'It's geared to run up most anything in
+creation.'
+
+'How steep?'
+
+'One foot in three.'
+
+'That's good.'
+
+'Yes. It'll climb Mount Washington.'
+
+'What do you call it?' I asked.
+
+He looked me over with close scrutiny.
+
+'In Amurrica,' he said, slowly, 'we call it the Great Manitou, because
+it kin do pretty well what it chooses; but in Europe, I am thinking of
+calling it the Martin Conway or the Whymper, or something like that.'
+
+'Why so?'
+
+'Well, because it's a famous mountain climber.'
+
+'I see,' I said. 'With such a machine you'll put a notice on the
+Matterhorn, "This hill is dangerous to cyclists."'
+
+He laughed low to himself, and rubbed his hands again. 'You'll do,
+miss,' he said. 'You're the right sort, you are. The moment I seen you,
+I thought we two could do a trade together. Benefits me; benefits you. A
+mutual advantage. Reciprocity is the soul of business. You hev some go
+in you, you hev. There's money in your feet. You'll give these Meinherrs
+fits. You'll take the clear-starch out of them.'
+
+'I fail to catch on,' I answered, speaking his own dialect to humour
+him.
+
+'Oh, you'll get there all the same,' he replied, stroking his machine
+meanwhile. 'It was a squirrel, it was!' (He pronounced it _squirl_.) 'It
+'ud run up a tree ef it wanted, wouldn't it?' He was talking to it now
+as if it were a dog or a baby. 'There, there, it mustn't kick; it was a
+frisky little thing! Jest you step up on it, miss, and have a go at that
+there mountain.'
+
+I stepped up and had a 'go.' The machine bounded forward like an agile
+greyhound. You had but to touch it, and it ran of itself. Never had I
+ridden so vivacious, so animated a cycle. I returned to him, sailing,
+with the gradient reversed. The Manitou glided smoothly, as on a gentle
+slope, without the need for back-pedalling.
+
+'It soars!' he remarked with enthusiasm.
+
+'Balloons are at discount beside it,' I answered.
+
+'Now you want to know about this business, I guess,' he went on. 'You
+want to know jest where the reciprocity comes in, anyhow?'
+
+'I am ready to hear you expound,' I admitted, smiling.
+
+'Oh, it ain't all on one side,' he continued, eyeing his machine at an
+angle with parental affection. 'I'm a-going to make your fortune right
+here. You shall ride her for me on the last day; and ef you pull this
+thing off, don't you be scared that I won't treat you handsome.'
+
+'If you were a little more succinct,' I said, gravely, 'we should get
+forrader faster.'
+
+'Perhaps you wonder,' he put in, 'that with money on it like this, I
+should intrust the job _into_ the hands of a female.' I winced, but was
+silent. 'Well, it's like this, don't you see; ef a female wins, it makes
+success all the more striking and con-spicuous. The world to-day _is_
+ruled _by_ adver_tize_ment.'
+
+I could stand it no longer. 'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, with dignity, 'I
+haven't the remotest idea what on earth you are talking about.'
+
+He gazed at me with surprise. 'What?' he exclaimed, at last. 'And you
+kin cycle like that! Not know what all the cycling world is mad about!
+Why, you don't mean to tell me you're not a pro-fessional?'
+
+I enlightened him at once as to my position in society, which was
+respectable, if not lucrative. His face fell somewhat. 'High-toned, eh?
+Still, you'd run all the same, wouldn't you?' he inquired.
+
+'Run for what?' I asked, innocently. 'Parliament? The Presidency? The
+Frankfort Town Council?'
+
+He had difficulty in fathoming the depths of my ignorance. But by
+degrees I understood him. It seemed that the German Imperial and
+Prussian Royal Governments had offered a Kaiserly and Kingly prize for
+the best military bicycle; the course to be run over the Taunus, from
+Frankfort to Limburg; the winning machine to get the equivalent of a
+thousand pounds; each firm to supply its own make and rider. The 'last
+day' was Saturday next; and the Great Manitou was the dark horse of the
+contest.
+
+Then all was clear as day to me. Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock was keeping his
+machine a profound secret; he wanted a woman to ride it, so that his
+triumph might be the more complete; and the moment he saw me pedal up
+the hill, in trying to avoid him, he recognised at once that I was that
+woman.
+
+I recognised it too. 'Twas a pre-ordained harmony. After two or three
+trials I felt that the Manitou was built for me, and I was built for the
+Manitou. We ran together like parts of one mechanism. I was always famed
+for my circular ankle-action; and in this new machine, ankle-action was
+everything. Strength of limb counted for naught; what told was the power
+of 'clawing up again' promptly. I possess that power: I have prehistoric
+feet: my remote progenitors must certainly have been tree-haunting
+monkeys.
+
+We arranged terms then and there.
+
+'You accept?'
+
+'Implicitly.'
+
+If I pulled off the race, I was to have fifty pounds. If I didn't, I was
+to have five. 'It ain't only your skill, you see,' Mr. Hitchcock said,
+with frank commercialism. 'It's your personal attractiveness as well
+that I go upon. That's an element to consider in business relations.'
+
+'My face is my fortune,' I answered, gravely. He nodded acquiescence.
+
+Till Saturday, then, I was free. Meanwhile, I trained, and practised
+quietly with the Manitou, in sequestered parts of the hills. I also took
+spells, turn about, at the Staedel Institute. I like to intersperse
+culture and athletics. I know something about athletics, and hope in
+time to acquire a taste for culture. 'Tis expected of a Girton girl,
+though my own accomplishments run rather towards rowing, punting,
+bicycling.
+
+On Saturday, I confess, I rose with great misgivings. I was not a
+professional; and to find oneself practically backed for a thousand
+pounds in a race against men is a trifle disquieting. Still, having
+once put my hand to the plough, I felt I was bound to pull it through
+somehow. I dressed my hair neatly, in a very tight coil. I ate a light
+breakfast, eschewing the fried sausages which the Blighted Fraus pressed
+upon my notice, and satisfying myself with a gently-boiled egg and some
+toast and coffee. I always found I rowed best at Cambridge on the
+lightest diet; in my opinion, the raw beef _regime_ is a serious error
+in training.
+
+At a minute or two before eleven I turned up at the Schiller Platz in my
+short serge dress and cycling jacket. The great square was thronged with
+spectators to see us start; the police made a lane through their midst
+for the riders. My backer had advised me to come to the post as late as
+possible, 'For I have entered your name,' he said, 'simply as Lois
+Cayley. These Deutschers don't think but what you're a man and a
+brother. But I am apprehensive of con-tingencies. When you put in a show
+they'll try to raise objections to you on account of your being a
+female. There won't be much time, though, and I shall rush the
+objections. Once they let you run and win, it don't matter to me whether
+I get the twenty thousand marks or not. It's the adver_tize_ment that
+tells. Jest you mark my words, miss, and don't you make no mistake about
+it--the world to-day is governed by adver_tize_ment.'
+
+So I turned up at the last moment, and cast a timid glance at my
+competitors. They were all men, of course, and two of them were German
+officers in a sort of undress cycling uniform. They eyed me
+superciliously. One of them went up and spoke to the Herr
+Over-Superintendent who had charge of the contest. I understood him to
+be lodging an objection against a mere woman taking part in the race.
+The Herr Over-Superintendent, a bulky official, came up beside me and
+perpended visibly. He bent his big brows to it. 'Twas appalling to
+observe the measurable amount of Teutonic cerebration going on under
+cover of his round, green glasses. He was perpending for some minutes.
+Time was almost up. Then he turned to Mr. Hitchcock, having finally made
+up his colossal mind, and murmured rudely, 'The woman cannot compete.'
+
+'Why not?' I inquired, in my very sweetest German, with an angelic
+smile, though my heart trembled.
+
+'Warum nicht? Because the word "rider" in the Kaiserly and Kingly
+for-this-contest-provided decree is distinctly in the masculine gender
+stated.'
+
+'Pardon me, Herr Over-Superintendent,' I replied, pulling out a copy of
+Law 97 on the subject, with which I had duly provided myself, 'if you
+will to Section 45 of the Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act your
+attention turn, you will find it therein expressly enacted that unless
+any clause be anywhere to the contrary inserted, the word "rider," in
+the masculine gender put, shall here the word "rideress" in the feminine
+to embrace be considered.'
+
+For, anticipating this objection, I had taken the precaution to look the
+legal question up beforehand.
+
+'That is true,' the Herr Over-Superintendent observed, in a musing
+voice, gazing down at me with relenting eyes. 'The masculine habitually
+embraces the feminine.' And he brought his massive intellect to bear
+upon the problem once more with prodigious concentration.
+
+I seized my opportunity. 'Let me start, at least,' I urged, holding out
+the Act. 'If I win, you can the matter more fully with the Kaiserly and
+Kingly Governments hereafter argue out.'
+
+'I guess this will be an international affair,' Mr. Hitchcock remarked,
+well pleased. 'It would be a first-rate adver_tize_ment for the Great
+Manitou ef England and Germany were to make the question into a _casus
+belli_. The United States could look on, and pocket the chestnuts.'
+
+'Two minutes to go,' the official starter with the watch called out.
+
+'Fall in, then, Fraeulein Englaenderin,' the Herr Over-Superintendent
+observed, without prejudice, waving me into line. He pinned a badge with
+a large number, 7, on my dress. 'The Kaiserly and Kingly Governments
+shall on the affair of the starting's legality hereafter on my report
+more at leisure pass judgment.'
+
+The lieutenant in undress uniform drew back a little.
+
+'Oh, if this is to be woman's play,' he muttered, 'then can a Prussian
+officer himself by competing not into contempt bring.'
+
+I dropped a little curtsy. 'If the Herr Lieutenant is afraid even to
+_enter_ against an Englishwoman----' I said, smiling.
+
+He came up to the scratch sullenly. 'One minute to go!' called out the
+starter.
+
+We were all on the alert. There was a pause; a deep breath. I was
+horribly frightened, but I tried to look calm. Then sharp and quick came
+the one word 'Go!' And like arrows from a bow, off we all started.
+
+I had ridden over the whole course the day but one before, on a mountain
+pony, with an observant eye and my sedulous American--rising at five
+o'clock, so as not to excite undue attention; and I therefore knew
+beforehand the exact route we were to follow; but I confess when I saw
+the Prussian lieutenant and one of my other competitors dash forward at
+a pace that simply astonished me, that fifty pounds seemed to melt away
+in the dim abyss of the Ewigkeit. I gave up all for lost. I could never
+make the running against such practised cyclists.
+
+[Illustration: DON'T SCORCH, MISS; DON'T SCORCH.]
+
+However, we all turned out into the open road which leads across the
+plain and down the Main valley, in the direction of Mayence. For the
+first ten miles or so, it is a dusty level. The surface is perfect; but
+'twas a blinding white thread. As I toiled along it, that broiling June
+day, I could hear the voice of my backer, who followed on horseback,
+exhorting me in loud tones, 'Don't scorch, miss; don't scorch; never
+mind ef you lose sight of 'em. Keep your wind; that's the point. The
+wind, the wind's everything. Let 'em beat you on the level; you'll catch
+'em up fast enough when you get on the Taunus!'
+
+But in spite of his encouragement, I almost lost heart as I saw one
+after another of my opponents' backs disappear in the distance, till at
+last I was left toiling along the bare white road alone, in a
+shower-bath of sunlight, with just a dense cloud of dust rising gray far
+ahead of me. My head swam. It repented me of my boldness.
+
+Then the riders on horseback began to grumble; for by police regulation
+they were not allowed to pass the hindmost of the cyclists; and they
+were kept back by my presence from following up their special champions.
+'Give it up, Fraeulein, give it up!' they cried. 'You're beaten. Let us
+pass and get forward.' But at the self-same moment, I heard the shrill
+voice of my American friend whooping aloud across the din, 'Don't you do
+nothing of the sort, miss! You stick to it, and keep your wind! It's the
+wind that wins! Them Germans won't be worth a cent on the high slopes,
+anyway!'
+
+Encouraged by his voice, I worked steadily on, neither scorching nor
+relaxing, but maintaining an even pace at my natural pitch under the
+broiling sunshine. Heat rose in waves on my face from the road below; in
+the thin white dust, the accusing tracks of six wheels confronted me.
+Still I kept on following them, till I reached the town of Hoechst--nine
+miles from Frankfort. Soldiers along the route were timing us at
+intervals with chronometers, and noting our numbers. As I rattled over
+the paved High Street, I called aloud to one of them. 'How far ahead the
+last man?'
+
+He shouted back, good-humouredly: 'Four minutes, Fraeulein.'
+
+Again I lost heart. Then I mounted a slight slope, and felt how easily
+the Manitou moved up the gradient. From its summit I could note a long
+gray cloud of dust rolling steadily onward down the hill towards
+Hattersheim.
+
+I coasted down, with my feet up, and a slight breeze just cooling me.
+Mr. Hitchcock, behind, called out, full-throated, from his seat, 'No
+hurry! No flurry! Take your time! Take--your--time, miss!'
+
+Over the bridge at Hattersheim you turn to the right abruptly, and begin
+to mount by the side of a pretty little stream, the Schwarzbach, which
+runs brawling over rocks down the Taunus from Eppstein. By this time the
+excitement had somewhat cooled down for the moment; I was getting
+reconciled to be beaten on the level, and began to realise that my
+chances would be best as we approached the steepest bits of the mountain
+road about Niederhausen. So I positively plucked up heart to look about
+me and enjoy the scenery. With hair flying behind--that coil had played
+me false--I swept through Hofheim, a pleasant little village at the
+mouth of a grassy valley inclosed by wooded slopes, the Schwarzbach
+making cool music in the glen below as I mounted beside it. Clambering
+larches, like huge candelabra, stood out on the ridge, silhouetted
+against the skyline.
+
+'How far ahead the last man?' I cried to the recording soldier. He
+answered me back, 'Two minutes, Fraeulein.'
+
+I was gaining on them; I was gaining! I thundered across the
+Schwarzbach, by half-a-dozen clamorous little iron bridges, making easy
+time now, and with my feet working as if they were themselves an
+integral part of the machinery. Up, up, up; it looked a vertical ascent;
+the Manitou glided well in its oil-bath at its half-way gearing. I rode
+for dear life. At sixteen miles, Lorsbach; at eighteen, Eppstein; the
+road still rising. 'How far ahead the last man?' 'Just round the corner,
+Fraeulein!'
+
+I put on a little steam. Sure enough, round the corner I caught sight of
+his back. With a spurt, I passed him--a dust-covered soul, very hot and
+uncomfortable. He had not kept his wind; I flew past him like a
+whirlwind. But, oh, how sultry hot in that sweltering, close valley! A
+pretty little town, Eppstein, with its mediaeval castle perched high on a
+craggy rock. I owed it some gratitude, I felt, as I left it behind, for
+'twas here that I came up with the tail-end of my opponents.
+
+That one victory cheered me. So far, our route had lain along the
+well-made but dusty high road in the steaming valley; at Nieder-Josbach,
+two miles on, we quitted the road abruptly, by the course marked out for
+us, and turned up a mountain path, only wide enough for two cycles
+abreast--a path that clambered towards the higher slopes of the Taunus.
+That was arranged on purpose--for this was no fair-weather show, but a
+practical trial for military bicycles, under the conditions they might
+meet with in actual warfare. It was rugged riding: black walls of pine
+rose steep on either hand; the ground was uncertain. Our path mounted
+sharply from the first; the steeper the better. By the time I had
+reached Ober-Josbach, nestling high among larch-woods, I had distanced
+all but two of my opponents. It was cooler now, too. As I passed the
+hamlet my cry altered.
+
+[Illustration: HOW FAR AHEAD THE FIRST MAN?]
+
+'How far ahead the first man?'.
+
+'Two minutes, Fraeulein,'
+
+'A civilian?'
+
+'No, no; a Prussian officer.'
+
+The Herr Lieutenant led, then. For Old England's sake, I felt I must
+beat him.
+
+The steepest slope of all lay in the next two miles. If I were going to
+win I must pass these two there, for my advantage lay all in the climb;
+if it came to coasting, the men's mere weight scored a point in their
+favour. Bump, crash, jolt! I pedalled away like a machine; the Manitou
+sobbed; my ankles flew round so that I scarcely felt them. But the road
+was rough and scarred with waterways--ruts turned by rain to runnels. At
+half a mile, after a desperate struggle among sand and pebbles, I passed
+the second man; just ahead, the Prussian officer looked round and saw
+me. 'Thunder-weather! you there, Englaenderin?' he cried, darting me a
+look of unchivalrous dislike, such as only your sentimental German can
+cast at a woman.
+
+[Illustration: I AM HERE BEHIND YOU, HERR LIEUTENANT.]
+
+'Yes, I am here, behind you, Herr Lieutenant,' I answered, putting on a
+spurt; 'and I hope next to be before you.'
+
+He answered not a word, but worked his hardest. So did I. He bent
+forward: I sat erect on my Manitou, pulling hard at my handles. Now, my
+front wheel was upon him. It reached his pedal. We were abreast. He had
+a narrow thread of solid path, and he forced me into a runnel. Still I
+gained. He swerved: I think he tried to foul me. But the slope was too
+steep; his attempt recoiled on himself; he ran against the rock at the
+side and almost overbalanced. That second lost him. I waved my hand as I
+sailed ahead. 'Good morning,' I cried, gaily. 'See you again at
+Limburg!'
+
+From the top of the slope I put my feet up and flew down into Idstein. A
+thunder-shower burst: I was glad of the cool of it. It laid the dust. I
+regained the high road. From that moment, save for the risk of
+sideslips, 'twas easy running--just an undulating line with occasional
+ups and downs; but I saw no more of my pursuers till, twenty-two
+kilometres farther on, I rattled on the cobble-paved causeway into
+Limburg. I had covered the forty-six miles in quick time for a mountain
+climb. As I crossed the bridge over the Lahn, to my immense surprise,
+Mr. Hitchcock waved his arms, all excitement, to greet me. He had taken
+the train on from Eppstein, it seemed, and got there before me. As I
+dismounted at the Cathedral, which was our appointed end, and gave my
+badge to the soldier, he rushed up and shook my hand. 'Fifty pounds!' he
+cried. 'Fifty pounds! How's that for the great Anglo-Saxon race! And
+hooray for the Manitou!'
+
+The second man, the civilian, rode in, wet and draggled, forty seconds
+later. As for the Herr Lieutenant, a disappointed man, he fell out by
+the way, alleging a puncture. I believe he was ashamed to admit the fact
+that he had been beaten in open fight by the objurgated Englaenderin.
+
+So the end of it was, I was now a woman of means, with fifty pounds of
+my own to my credit.
+
+I lunched with my backer royally at the best inn in Limburg.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE AMATEUR COMMISSION AGENT
+
+
+My eccentric American had assured me that if I won the great race for
+him I need not be 'skeert' lest he should fail to treat me well; and to
+do him justice, I must admit that he kept his word magnanimously. While
+we sat at lunch in the cosy hotel at Limburg he counted out and paid me
+in hand the fifty good gold pieces he had promised me. 'Whether these
+Deutschers fork out my twenty thousand marks or not,' he said, in his
+brisk way, 'it don't much matter. I shall get the contract, and I shall
+hev gotten the adver_tize_ment!'
+
+'Why do you start your bicycles in Germany, though?' I asked,
+innocently. 'I should have thought myself there was so much a better
+chance of selling them in England.'
+
+[Illustration: LET THEM BOOM OR BUST ON IT.]
+
+He closed one eye, and looked abstractedly at the light through his
+glass of pale yellow Brauneberger with the other. 'England? Yes,
+England! Well, see, miss, you hev not been raised in business. Business
+is business. The way to do it in Germany is--to manufacture for
+yourself: and I've got my works started right here in Frankfort. The way
+to do it in England--where capital's dirt cheap--is, to sell your patent
+for every cent it's worth to an English company, and let them boom or
+bust on it.'
+
+'I see,' I said, catching at it. 'The principle's as clear as mud, the
+moment you point it out to one. An English company will pay you well for
+the concession, and work for a smaller return on its investment than you
+Americans are content to receive on your capital!'
+
+'That's so! You hit it in one, miss! Which will you take, a cigar or a
+cocoa-nut?'
+
+I smiled. 'And what do you think you will call the machine in Europe?'
+
+He gazed hard at me, and stroked his straw-coloured moustache. 'Well,
+what do _you_ think of the _Lois Cayley_?'
+
+'For Heaven's sake, no!' I cried, fervently. 'Mr. Hitchcock, I implore
+you!'
+
+He smiled pity for my weakness. 'Ah, high-toned again?' he repeated, as
+if it were some natural malformation under which I laboured. 'Oh, ef you
+don't like it, miss, we'll say no more about it. I am a gentleman, I am.
+What's the matter with the _Excelsior_?'
+
+'Nothing, except that it's very bad Latin,' I objected.
+
+'That may be so; but it's very good business.'
+
+He paused and mused, then he murmured low to himself, '"When through an
+Alpine village passed." That's where the idea of the _Excelsior_ comes
+in; see? "It goes up Mont Blanc," you said yourself. "Through snow and
+ice, A cycle with the strange device, Excelsior!"'
+
+'If I were you,' I said, 'I would stick to the name _Manitou_. It's
+original, and it's distinctive.'
+
+'Think so? Then chalk it up; the thing's done. You may not be aware of
+it, miss, but you are a lady for whose opinion in such matters I hev a
+high regard. _And_ you understand Europe. I do not. I admit it.
+Everything seems to me to be _verboten_ in Germany; and everything else
+to be _bad form_ in England.'
+
+We walked down the steps together. 'What a picturesque old town!' I
+said, looking round me, well pleased. Its beauty appealed to me, for I
+had fifty pounds in pocket, and I had lunched sumptuously.
+
+'_Old_ town?' he repeated, gazing with a blank stare. 'You call this
+town _old_, do you?'
+
+'Why, of course! Just look at the cathedral! Eight hundred years old, at
+least!'
+
+He ran his eye down the streets, dissatisfied.
+
+'Well, ef this town is old,' he said at last, with a snap of his
+fingers, 'it's precious little for its age.' And he strode away towards
+the railway station.
+
+'What about the bicycle?' I asked; for it lay, a silent victor, against
+the railing of the steps, surrounded by a crowd of inquiring Teutons.
+
+He glanced at it carelessly. 'Oh, the wheel?' he said. 'You may keep
+it.'
+
+He said it so exactly in the tone in which one tells a waiter he may
+keep the change, that I resented the impertinence. 'No, thank you,' I
+answered. 'I do not require it.'
+
+He gazed at me, open-mouthed. 'What? Put my foot in it again?' he
+interposed. 'Not high-toned enough? Eh? Now, I do regret it. No offence
+meant, miss, nor none need be taken. What I meant to in-sinuate was
+this: you hev won the big race for me. Folks will notice you and talk
+about you at Frankfort. Ef you ride a Manitou, that'll make 'em talk the
+more. A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits me. You get the wheel;
+I get the adver_tize_ment.'
+
+I saw that reciprocity was the lodestar of his life. 'Very well, Mr.
+Hitchcock,' I said, pocketing my pride, 'I'll accept the machine, and
+I'll ride it.'
+
+Then a light dawned upon me. I saw eventualities. 'Look here,' I went
+on, innocently--recollect, I was a girl just fresh from Girton--'I am
+thinking of going on very soon to Switzerland. Now, why shouldn't I do
+this--try to sell your machines, or, rather, take orders for them, from
+anybody that admires them? A mutual advantage. Benefits you; benefits
+me. You sell your wheels; I get----'
+
+He stared at me. 'The commission?'
+
+'I don't know what commission means,' I answered, somewhat at sea as to
+the name; 'but I thought it might be worth your while, till the Manitou
+becomes better known, to pay me, say, ten per cent on all orders I
+brought you.'
+
+His face was one broad smile. 'I do admire at you, miss,' he cried,
+standing still to inspect me. 'You may not know the meaning of the
+_word_ commission; but durned ef you haven't got a hang of the _thing_
+itself that would do honour to a Wall Street operator, anyway.'
+
+'Then that's business?' I asked, eagerly; for I beheld vistas.
+
+'Business?' he repeated. 'Yes, that's jest about the size of
+it--business. Adver_tize_ment, miss, may be the soul of commerce, but
+Commission's its body. You go in and win. Ten per cent on every order
+you send me!'
+
+He insisted on taking my ticket back to Frankfort. 'My affair, miss; my
+affair!' There was no gainsaying him. He was immensely elated. 'The
+biggest thing in cycles since Dunlop tyres,' he repeated. 'And
+to-morrow, they'll give me advertizements gratis in every newspaper!'
+
+Next morning, he came round to call on me at the Abode of Unclaimed
+Domestic Angels. He was explicit and generous. 'Look here, miss,' he
+began; 'I didn't do fair by you when you interviewed me about your
+agency last evening. I took advantage, _at_ the time, _of_ your youth
+and inexperience. You suggested 10 per cent _as_ the amount of your
+commission on sales you might effect; and I jumped at it. That was
+conduct unworthy _of_ a gentleman. Now, I will not deceive you. The
+ordinary commission on transactions in wheels is 25 per cent. I am going
+to sell the Manitou retail at twenty English pounds apiece. You shall
+hev your 25 per cent on all orders.'
+
+'Five pounds for every machine I sell?' I exclaimed, overjoyed.
+
+He nodded. 'That's so.'
+
+I was simply amazed at this magnificent prospect. 'The cycle trade must
+be honeycombed with middlemen's profits!' I cried; for I had my
+misgivings.
+
+'That's so,' he replied again. 'Then jest you take and be a
+middlewoman.'
+
+'But, as a consistent socialist----'
+
+'It is your duty to fleece the capitalist and the consumer. A mutual
+benefit--triangular this time. I get the order, the public gets the
+machine, and you get the commission. I am richer, you are richer, and
+the public is mounted on much the best wheel ever yet invented.'
+
+'That sounds plausible,' I admitted. 'I shall try it on in Switzerland.
+I shall run up steep hills whenever I see any likely customers looking
+on; then I shall stop and ask them the time, as if quite accidentally.'
+
+He rubbed his hands. 'You take to business like a young duck to the
+water,' he exclaimed, admiringly. 'That's the way to rake 'em in! You go
+up and say to them, "Why not investigate? We defy competition. Leave the
+drudgery of walking uphill beside your cycle! Progress is the order of
+the day. Use modern methods! This is the age of the telegraph, the
+telephone, _and_ the typewriter. You kin no longer afford to go on with
+an antiquated, ante-diluvian, armour-plated wheel. Invest in a
+Hill-Climber, the last and lightest product of evvolootion. _Is_ it
+common-sense to buy an old-style, unautomatic, single-geared,
+inconvertible ten-ton machine, when for the same money or less you can
+purchase the self-acting Manitou, a priceless gem, as light as a
+feather, with all the most recent additions and improvements? Be
+reasonable! Get the best!" That's the style to fetch 'em!'
+
+I laughed, in spite of myself. 'Oh, Mr. Hitchcock,' I burst out, 'that's
+not _my_ style at all. I shall say, simply "This is a lovely new
+bicycle. You can see for yourself how it climbs hills. Try it, if you
+wish. It skims like a swallow. And I get what they call five pounds
+commission on every one I can sell of them!" I think that way of dealing
+is much more likely to bring you in orders.'
+
+His admiration was undisguised. 'Well, I _do_ call you a woman of
+business, miss,' he cried. 'You see it at a glance. That's so. That's
+the right kind of thing to rope in the Europeans. Some originality about
+you. You take 'em on their own ground. You've got the draw on them, you
+hev. I like your system. You'll jest haul in the dollars!'
+
+'I hope so,' I said, fervently; for I had evolved in my own mind, oh,
+such a _lovely_ scheme for Elsie Petheridge's holidays!
+
+He gazed at me once more. 'Ef only I could get hold of a woman of
+business like you to soar through life with me,' he murmured.
+
+[Illustration: HIS OPEN ADMIRATION WAS GETTING QUITE EMBARRASSING.]
+
+I grew interested in my shoes. His open admiration was getting quite
+embarrassing.
+
+He paused a minute. Then he went on: 'Well, what do you say to it?'
+
+'To what?' I asked, amazed.
+
+'To my proposition--my offer.'
+
+'I-- I don't understand,' I stammered out bewildered. 'The 25 per cent,
+you mean?'
+
+'No, the de-votion of a lifetime,' he answered, looking sideways at me.
+'Miss Cayley, when a business man advances a proposition, commercial or
+otherwise, he advances it because he means it. He asks a prompt reply.
+Your time is valuable. So is mine. _Are_ you prepared to consider it?'
+
+'Mr. Hitchcock,' I said, drawing back, 'I think you misunderstand. I
+think you do not realise----'
+
+'All right, miss,' he answered, promptly, though with a disappointed
+air. 'Ef it kin not be managed, it kin not be managed. I understand your
+European ex-clusiveness. I know your prejudices. But this little episode
+need not antagonise with the normal course of ordinary business. I
+respect you, Miss Cayley. You are a lady _of_ intelligence, _of_
+initiative, and _of_ high-toned culture. I will wish you good day for
+the present, without further words; and I shall be happy at any time to
+receive your orders on the usual commission.'
+
+He backed out and was gone. He was so honestly blunt that I really quite
+liked him.
+
+Next day, I bade a tearless farewell to the Blighted Fraus. When I told
+those eight phlegmatic souls I was going, they all said 'So!' much as
+they had said 'So!' to every previous remark I had been moved to make
+to them. 'So' is capital garnishing: but viewed as a staple of
+conversation, I find it a trifle vapid, not to say monotonous.
+
+I set out on my wanderings, therefore, to go round the world on my own
+account and my own Manitou, which last I grew to love in time with a
+love passing the love of Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock. I carried the strict
+necessary before me in a small waterproof bicycling valise; but I sent
+on the portmanteau containing my whole estate, real or personal, to some
+point in advance which I hoped to reach from time to time in a day or
+two. My first day's journey was along a pleasant road from Frankfort to
+Heidelberg, some fifty-four miles in all, skirting the mountains the
+greater part of the way; the Manitou took the ups and downs so easily
+that I diverged at intervals, to choose side-paths over the wooded
+hills. I arrived at Heidelberg as fresh as a daisy, my mount not having
+turned a hair meanwhile--a favourite expression of cyclists which
+carries all the more conviction to an impartial mind because of the
+machine being obviously hairless. Thence I journeyed on by easy stages
+to Karlsruhe, Baden, Appenweier, and Offenburg; where I set my front
+wheel resolutely for the Black Forest. It is the prettiest and most
+picturesque route to Switzerland; and, being also the hilliest, it would
+afford me, I thought, the best opportunity for showing off the Manitou's
+paces, and trying my prentice hand as an amateur cycle-agent.
+
+From the quaint little Black Eagle at Offenburg, however, before I
+dashed into the Forest, I sent off a letter to Elsie Petheridge, setting
+forth my lovely scheme for her summer holidays. She was delicate, poor
+child, and the London winters sorely tried her; I was now a millionaire,
+with the better part of fifty pounds in pocket, so I felt I could afford
+to be royal in my hospitality. As I was leaving Frankfort, I had called
+at a tourist agency and bought a second-class circular ticket from
+London to Lucerne and back-- I made it second-class because I am opposed
+on principle to excessive luxury, and also because it was three guineas
+cheaper. Even fifty pounds will not last for ever, though I could scarce
+believe it. (You see, I am not wholly free, after all, from the
+besetting British vice of prudence.) It was a mighty joy to me to be
+able to send this ticket to Elsie, at her lodgings in Bayswater,
+pointing out to her that now the whole mischief was done, and that if
+she would not come out as soon as her summer vacation began--'twas a
+point of honour with Elsie to say _vacation_, instead of _holidays_--to
+join me at Lucerne, and stop with me as my guest at a mountain
+_pension_, the ticket would be wasted. I love burning my boats; 'tis the
+only safe way for securing prompt action.
+
+Then I turned my flying wheels up into the Black Forest, growing weary
+of my loneliness--for it is not all jam to ride by oneself in
+Germany--and longing for Elsie to come out and join me. I loved to think
+how her dear pale cheeks would gain colour and tone on the hills about
+the Bruenig, where, for business reasons (so I said to myself with the
+conscious pride of the commission agent), I proposed to pass the greater
+part of the summer.
+
+From Offenburg to Hornberg the road makes a good stiff climb of
+twenty-seven miles, and some 1200 English feet in altitude, with a fair
+number of minor undulations on the way to diversify it. I will not
+describe the route, though it is one of the most beautiful I have ever
+travelled--rocky hills, ruined castles, huge, straight-stemmed pines
+that clamber up green slopes, or halt in sombre line against steeps of
+broken crag; the reality surpasses my poor powers of description. And
+the people I passed on the road were almost as quaint and picturesque
+in their way as the hills and the villages--the men in red-lined
+jackets; the women in black petticoats, short-waisted green bodices, and
+broad-brimmed straw hats with black-and-crimson pompons. But on the
+steepest gradient, just before reaching Hornberg, I got my first
+nibble--strange to say, from two German students; they wore Heidelberg
+caps, and were toiling up the incline with short, broken wind; I put on
+a spurt with the Manitou, and passed them easily. I did it just at first
+in pure wantonness of health and strength; but the moment I was clear of
+them, it occurred to the business half of me that here was a good chance
+of taking an order. Filled with this bright idea, I dismounted near the
+summit, and pretended to be engaged in lubricating my bearings; though
+as a matter of fact the Manitou runs in a bath of oil, self-feeding, and
+needs no looking after. Presently, my two Heidelbergers straggled
+up--hot, dusty, panting. Woman-like, I pretended to take no notice. One
+of them drew near and cast an eye on the Manitou.
+
+'That's a new machine, Fraeulein,' he said, at last, with more politeness
+than I expected.
+
+'It is,' I answered, casually; 'the latest model. Climbs hills like no
+other.' And I feigned to mount and glide off towards Hornberg.
+
+'Stop a moment, pray, Fraeulein,' my prospective buyer called out. 'Here,
+Heinrich, I wish you this new so excellent mountain-climbing machine,
+without chain propelled, more fully to investigate.'
+
+'I am going on to Hornberg,' I said, with mixed feminine guile and
+commercial strategy; 'still, if your friend wishes to look----'
+
+[Illustration: MINUTE INSPECTION.]
+
+They both jostled round it, with _achs_ innumerable, and, after minute
+inspection, pronounced its principle _wunderschoen_. 'Might I essay it?'
+Heinrich asked.
+
+'Oh, by all means,' I answered. He paced it down hill a few yards; then
+skimmed up again.
+
+'It is a bird!' he cried to his friend, with many guttural
+interjections. 'Like the eagle's flight, so soars it. Come, try the
+thing, Ludwig!'
+
+'You permit, Fraeulein?'
+
+I nodded. They both mounted it several times. It behaved like a beauty.
+Then one of them asked, 'And where can man of this new so remarkable
+machine nearest by purchase himself make possessor?'
+
+'I am the Sole Agent,' I burst out, with swelling dignity. 'If you will
+give me your orders, with cash in hand for the amount, I will send the
+cycle, carriage paid, to any address you desire in Germany.'
+
+'You!' they exclaimed, incredulously. 'The Fraeulein is pleased to be
+humorous!'
+
+'Oh, very well,' I answered, vaulting into the saddle; 'If you choose to
+doubt my word----' I waved one careless hand and coasted off.
+'Good-morning, meine Herren.'
+
+They lumbered after me on their ramshackled traction-engines. 'Pardon,
+Fraeulein! Do not thus go away! Oblige us at least with the name and
+address of the maker.'
+
+I perpended--like the Herr Over-Superintendent at Frankfort. 'Look
+here,' I said at last, telling the truth with frankness, 'I get 25 per
+cent on all bicycles I sell. I am, as I say, the maker's Sole Agent. If
+you order through me, I touch my profit; if otherwise, I do not. Still,
+since you seem to be gentlemen,' they bowed and swelled visibly, 'I will
+give you the address of the firm, trusting to your honour to mention my
+name'--I handed them a card--'if you decide on ordering. The price of
+the palfrey is 400 marks. It is worth every pfennig of it.' And before
+they could say more, I had spurred my steed and swept off at full speed
+round a curve of the highway.
+
+I pencilled a note to my American that night from Hornberg, detailing
+the circumstance; but I am sorry to say, for the discredit of humanity,
+that when those two students wrote the same evening from their inn in
+the village to order Manitous, they did _not_ mention my name, doubtless
+under the misconception that by suppressing it they would save my
+commission. However, it gives me pleasure to add _per contra_ (as we say
+in business) that when I arrived at Lucerne a week or so later I found a
+letter, _poste restante_, from Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock, inclosing an English
+ten-pound note. He wrote that he had received two orders for Manitous
+from Hornberg; and 'feeling considerable confidence that these must
+necessarily originate' from my German students, he had the pleasure of
+forwarding me what he hoped would be the first of many similar
+commissions.
+
+[Illustration: FELT A PERFECT LITTLE HYPOCRITE.]
+
+I will not describe my further adventures on the still steeper mountain
+road from Hornberg to Triberg and St. Georgen--how I got bites on the
+way from an English curate, an Austrian hussar, and two unprotected
+American ladies; nor how I angled for them all by riding my machine up
+impossible hills, and then reclining gracefully to eat my lunch (three
+times in one day) on mossy banks at the summit. I felt a perfect little
+hypocrite. But Mr. Hitchcock had remarked that business is business; and
+I will only add (in confirmation of his view) that by the time I reached
+Lucerne, I had sown the good seed in fifteen separate human souls, no
+less than four of which brought forth fruit in orders for Manitous
+before the end of the season.
+
+I had now so little fear what the morrow might bring forth that I
+settled down in a comfortable hotel at Lucerne till Elsie's holidays
+began; and amused myself meanwhile by picking out the hilliest roads I
+could find in the neighbourhood, in order to display my steel steed's
+possibilities to the best advantage.
+
+By the end of July, Elsie joined me. She was half-angry at first that I
+should have forced the ticket and my hospitality upon her.
+
+'Nonsense, dear,' I said, smoothing her hair, for her pale face quite
+frightened me. 'What is the good of a friend if she will not allow you
+to do her little favours?'
+
+'But, Brownie, you said you wouldn't stop and be dependent upon _me_ one
+day longer than was necessary in London.'
+
+'That was different,' I cried. 'That was Me! This is You! I am a great,
+strong, healthy thing, fit to fight the battle of life and take care of
+myself; you, Elsie, are one of those fragile little flowers which 'tis
+everybody's duty to protect and to care for.'
+
+She would have protested more; but I stifled her mouth with kisses.
+Indeed, for nothing did I rejoice in my prosperity so much as for the
+chance it gave me of helping poor dear overworked, overwrought Elsie.
+
+We took up our quarters thenceforth at a high-perched little guest-house
+near the top of the Bruenig. It was bracing for Elsie; and it lay close
+to a tourist track where I could spread my snares and exhibit the
+Manitou in its true colours to many passing visitors. Elsie tried it,
+and found she could ride on it with ease. She wished she had one of her
+own. A bright idea struck me. In fear and trembling, I wrote, suggesting
+to Mr. Hitchcock that I had a girl friend from England stopping with me
+in Switzerland, and that two Manitous would surely be better than one as
+an adver_tize_ment. I confess I stood aghast at my own cheek; but my
+hand, I fear, was rapidly growing 'subdued to that it worked in.' Anyhow
+I sent the letter off, and waited developments.
+
+By return of post came an answer from my American.
+
+     'DEAR MISS--By rail herewith please receive one lady's No. 4
+     automatic quadruple-geared self-feeding Manitou, as per your
+     esteemed favour of July 27th, for which I desire to thank you. The
+     more I see of your way of doing business, the more I do admire at
+     you. This is an elegant poster! Two high-toned English ladies,
+     mounted on Manitous, careering up the Alps, represent to both of
+     us quite a mint of money. The mutual benefit, to me, to you, and
+     to the other lady, ought to be simply incalculable. I shall be
+     pleased at any time to hear of any further developments of your
+     very remarkable advertising skill, and I am obliged to you for
+     this brilliant suggestion you have been good enough to make to
+     me.--Respectfully,
+
+  'CYRUS W. HITCHCOCK.'
+
+'What? Am I to have it for nothing, Brownie?' Elsie exclaimed,
+bewildered, when I read the letter to her.
+
+I assumed the airs of a woman of the world. 'Why, certainly, my dear,' I
+answered, as if I always expected to find bicycles showered upon me.
+'It's a mutual arrangement. Benefits him; benefits you. Reciprocity is
+the groundwork of business. _He_ gets the advertisement; _you_ get the
+amusement. It's a form of handbill. Like the ladies who exhibit their
+back hair, don't you know, in that window in Regent Street.'
+
+Thus inexpensively mounted, we scoured the country together, up the
+steepest hills between Stanzstadt and Meiringen. We had lots of nibbles.
+One lady in particular often stopped to look on and admire the Manitou.
+She was a nice-looking widow of forty-five, very fresh and round-faced;
+a Mrs. Evelegh, we soon found out, who owned a charming _chalet_ on the
+hills above Lungern. She spoke to us more than once: 'What a perfect
+dear of a machine!' she cried. 'I wonder if I dare try it!'
+
+'Can you cycle?' I asked.
+
+'I could once,' she answered. 'I was awfully fond of it. But Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley won't let me any longer.'
+
+'Try it!' I said dismounting. She got up and rode. 'Oh, isn't it just
+lovely!' she cried ecstatically.
+
+'Buy one!' I put in. 'They're as smooth as silk; they cost only twenty
+pounds; and, on every machine I sell, I get five pounds commission.'
+
+'I should love to,' she answered; 'but Dr. Fortescue-Langley----'
+
+'Who is he?' I asked. 'I don't believe in drug-drenchers.'
+
+She looked quite shocked. 'Oh, he's not that kind, you know,' she put
+in, breathlessly. 'He's the celebrated esoteric faith-healer. He won't
+let me move far away from Lungern, though I'm longing to be off to
+England again for the summer. My boy's at Portsmouth.'
+
+'Then, why don't you disobey him?'
+
+Her face was a study. 'I daren't,' she answered in an awe-struck voice.
+'He comes here every summer; and he does me _so_ much good, you know. He
+diagnoses my inner self. He treats me psychically. When my inner self
+goes wrong, my bangle turns dusky.' She held up her right hand with an
+Indian silver bangle on it; and sure enough, it was tarnished with a
+very thin black deposit. 'My soul is ailing now,' she said in a
+comically serious voice. 'But it is seldom so in Switzerland. The moment
+I land in England the bangle turns black and remains black till I get
+back to Lucerne again.'
+
+When she had gone, I said to Elsie, 'That _is_ odd about the bangle.
+State of health might affect it, I suppose. Though it looks to me like a
+surface deposit of sulphide.' I knew nothing of chemistry, I admit; but
+I had sometimes messed about in the laboratory at college with some of
+the other girls; and I remembered now that sulphide of silver was a
+blackish-looking body, like the film on the bangle.
+
+However, at the time I thought no more about it.
+
+[Illustration: SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER.]
+
+By dint of stopping and talking, we soon got quite intimate with Mrs.
+Evelegh. As always happens, I found out I had known some of her cousins
+in Edinburgh, where I always spent my holidays while I was at Girton.
+She took an interest in what she was kind enough to call my
+originality; and before a fortnight was out, our hotel being
+uncomfortably crowded, she had invited Elsie and myself to stop with her
+at the _chalet_. We went, and found it a delightful little home. Mrs.
+Evelegh was charming; but we could see at every turn that Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley had acquired a firm hold over her. 'He's so clever,
+you know,' she said; 'and so spiritual! He exercises such strong odylic
+force. He binds my being together. If he misses a visit, I feel my inner
+self goes all to pieces.'
+
+'Does he come often?' I asked, growing interested.
+
+'Oh, dear, no,' she answered. 'I wish he did: it would be ever so good
+for me. But he's so much run after; I am but one among many. He lives at
+Chateau d'Oex, and comes across to see patients in this district once a
+fortnight. It is a privilege to be attended by an intuitive seer like
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley.'
+
+Mrs. Evelegh was rich--'left comfortably,' as the phrase goes, but with
+a clause which prevented her marrying again without losing her fortune;
+and I could gather from various hints that Dr. Fortescue-Langley,
+whoever he might be, was bleeding her to some tune, using her soul and
+her inner self as his financial lancet. I also noticed that what she
+said about the bangle was strictly true; generally bright as a new pin,
+on certain mornings it was completely blackened. I had been at the
+_chalet_ ten days, however, before I began to suspect the real reason.
+Then it dawned upon me one morning in a flash of inspiration. The
+evening before had been cold, for at the height where we were perched,
+even in August, we often found the temperature chilly in the night, and
+I heard Mrs. Evelegh tell Cecile, her maid, to fill the hot-water
+bottle. It was a small point, but it somehow went home to me. Next day
+the bangle was black, and Mrs. Evelegh lamented that her inner self must
+be suffering from an attack of evil vapours.
+
+I held my peace at the time, but I asked Cecile a little later to bring
+me that hot-water-bottle. As I more than half suspected, it was made of
+india-rubber, wrapped carefully up in the usual red flannel bag. 'Lend
+me your brooch, Elsie,' I said. 'I want to try a little experiment.'
+
+'Won't a franc do as well?' Elsie asked, tendering one. 'That's equally
+silver.'
+
+'I think not,' I answered. 'A franc is most likely too hard; it has base
+metal to alloy it. But I will vary the experiment by trying both
+together. Your brooch is Indian and therefore soft silver. The native
+jewellers never use alloy. Hand it over; it will clean with a little
+plate-powder, if necessary. I'm going to see what blackens Mrs.
+Evelegh's bangle.'
+
+I laid the franc and the brooch on the bottle, filled with hot water,
+and placed them for warmth in the fold of a blanket. After _dejeuner_,
+we inspected them. As I anticipated, the brooch had grown black on the
+surface with a thin iridescent layer of silver sulphide, while the franc
+had hardly suffered at all from the exposure.
+
+I called in Mrs. Evelegh, and explained what I had done. She was
+astonished and half incredulous. 'How could you ever think of it?' she
+cried, admiringly.
+
+'Why, I was reading an article yesterday about india-rubber in one of
+your magazines,' I answered; 'and the person who wrote it said the raw
+gum was hardened for vulcanising by mixing it with sulphur. When I heard
+you ask Cecile for the hot-water-bottle, I thought at once: "The sulphur
+and the heat account for the tarnishing of Mrs. Evelegh's bangle."'
+
+'And the franc doesn't tarnish! Then that must be why my other silver
+bracelet, which is English make, and harder, never changes colour! And
+Dr. Fortescue-Langley assured me it was because the soft one was of
+Indian metal, and had mystic symbols on it--symbols that answered to the
+cardinal moods of my sub-conscious self, and that darkened in sympathy.'
+
+I jumped at a clue. 'He talked about your sub-conscious self?' I broke
+in.
+
+'Yes,' she answered. 'He always does. It's the key-note of his system.
+He heals by that alone. But, my dear, after this, how can I ever believe
+in him?'
+
+'Does he know about the hot-water-bottle?' I asked.
+
+'Oh, yes; he ordered me to use it on certain nights; and when I go to
+England he says I must never be without one. I see now that was why my
+inner self invariably went wrong in England. It was all just the sulphur
+blackening the bangles.'
+
+I reflected. 'A middle-aged man?' I asked. 'Stout, diplomatic-looking,
+with wrinkles round his eyes, and a distinguished grey moustache,
+twirled up oddly at the corners?'
+
+'That's the man, my dear! His very picture. Where on earth have you seen
+him?'
+
+'And he talks of sub-conscious selves?' I went on.
+
+'He practises on that basis. He says it's no use prescribing for the
+outer man; to do that is to treat mere symptoms: the sub-conscious self
+is the inner seat of diseases.'
+
+'How long has he been in Switzerland?'
+
+'Oh, he comes here every year. He arrived this season late in May, I
+fancy.'
+
+'When will he visit you again, Mrs. Evelegh?'
+
+'To-morrow morning.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'Then I must see him, without being seen,' I
+said. 'I think I know him. He is our Count, I believe.' For I had told
+Mrs. Evelegh and Elsie the queer story of my journey from London.
+
+'Impossible, my dear! Im-possible! I have implicit faith in him!'
+
+'Wait and see, Mrs. Evelegh. You acknowledge he duped you over the
+affair of the bangle.'
+
+[Illustration: THE COUNT.]
+
+There are two kinds of dupe: one kind, the commonest, goes on believing
+in its deceiver, no matter what happens; the other, far rarer, has the
+sense to know it has been deceived if you make the deception as clear as
+day to it. Mrs. Evelegh was, fortunately, of the rarer class. Next
+morning, Dr. Fortescue-Langley arrived, by appointment. As he walked up
+the path, I glanced at him from my window. It was the Count, not a doubt
+of it. On his way to gull his dupes in Switzerland, he had tried to
+throw in an incidental trifle of a diamond robbery.
+
+I telegraphed the facts at once to Lady Georgina, at Schlangenbad. She
+answered, 'I am coming. Ask the man to meet his friend on Wednesday.'
+
+Mrs. Evelegh, now almost convinced, invited him. On Wednesday morning,
+with a bounce, Lady Georgina burst in upon us. 'My dear, such a
+journey!--alone, at my age--but there, I haven't known a happy day since
+you left me! Oh, yes, I got my Gretchen--unsophisticated?--
+well--h'm--that's not the word for it: I declare to you, Lois, there
+isn't a trick of the trade, in Paris or London--not a perquisite or a
+tip that that girl isn't up to. Comes straight from the remotest
+recesses of the Black Forest, and hadn't been with me a week, I assure
+you, honour bright, before she was bandolining her yellow hair, and
+rouging her cheeks, and wearing my brooches, and wagering gloves with
+the hotel waiters upon the Baden races. _And_ her language: _and_ her
+manners! Why weren't you born in that station of life, I wonder, child,
+so that I might offer you five hundred a year, and all found, to come
+and live with me for ever? But this Gretchen--her fringe, her shoes, her
+ribbons--upon my soul, my dear, I don't know what girls are coming to
+nowadays.'
+
+'Ask Mrs. Lynn-Linton,' I suggested, as she paused. 'She is a recognised
+authority on the subject.'
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady stared at me. 'And this Count?' she went on.
+'So you have really tracked him? You're a wonderful girl, my dear. I
+wish you were a lady's maid. You'd be worth me any money.'
+
+I explained how I had come to hear of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.
+
+Lady Georgina waxed warm. 'Dr. Fortescue-Langley!' she exclaimed. 'The
+wicked wretch! But he didn't get my diamonds! I've carried them here in
+my hands, all the way from Wiesbaden: I wasn't going to leave them for
+a single day to the tender mercies of that unspeakable Gretchen. The
+fool would lose them. Well, we'll catch him this time, Lois: and we'll
+give him ten years for it!'
+
+'Ten years!' Mrs. Evelegh cried, clasping her hands in horror. 'Oh, Lady
+Georgina!'
+
+We waited in Mrs. Evelegh's dining-room, the old lady and I, behind the
+folding doors. At three precisely Dr. Fortescue-Langley walked in. I had
+difficulty in restraining Lady Georgina from falling upon him
+prematurely. He talked a lot of high-flown nonsense to Mrs. Evelegh and
+Elsie about the influences of the planets, and the seventy-five
+emanations, and the eternal wisdom of the East, and the medical efficacy
+of sub-conscious suggestion. Excellent patter, all of it--quite as good
+in its way as the diplomatic patter he had poured forth in the train to
+Lady Georgina. It was rich in spheres, in elements, in cosmic forces. At
+last, as he was discussing the reciprocal action of the inner self upon
+the exhalations of the lungs, we pushed back the door and walked calmly
+in upon him.
+
+His breath came and went. The exhalations of the lungs showed visible
+perturbation. He rose and stared at us. For a second he lost his
+composure. Then, as bold as brass, he turned, with a cunning smile, to
+Mrs. Evelegh. 'Where on earth did you pick up such acquaintances?' he
+inquired, in a well-simulated tone of surprise. 'Yes, Lady Georgina, I
+have met you before, I admit; but--it can hardly be agreeable to you to
+reflect under what circumstances.'
+
+Lady Georgina was beside herself. 'You dare?' she cried, confronting
+him. 'You dare to brazen it out? You miserable sneak! But you can't
+bluff me now. I have the police outside.' Which I regret to confess was
+a light-hearted fiction.
+
+'The police?' he echoed, drawing back. I could see he was frightened.
+
+I had an inspiration again. 'Take off that moustache!' I said, calmly,
+in my most commanding voice.
+
+[Illustration: I THOUGHT IT KINDER TO HIM TO REMOVE IT ALTOGETHER.]
+
+He clapped his hand to it in horror. In his agitation, he managed to
+pull it a little bit awry. It looked so absurd, hanging there, all
+crooked, that I thought it kinder to him to remove it altogether. The
+thing peeled off with difficulty; for it was a work of art, very firmly
+and gracefully fastened with sticking-plaster. But it peeled off at
+last--and with it the whole of the Count's and Dr. Fortescue-Langley's
+distinction. The man stood revealed, a very palpable man-servant.
+
+Lady Georgina stared hard at him. 'Where have I seen you before?' she
+murmured, slowly. 'That face is familiar to me. Why, yes; you went once
+to Italy as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's courier! I know you now. Your name
+is Higginson.'
+
+It was a come-down for the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, but he swallowed
+it like a man at a single gulp.
+
+'Yes, my lady,' he said, fingering his hat nervously, now all was up.
+'You are quite right, my lady. But what would you have me do? Times are
+hard on us couriers. Nobody wants us now. I must take to what I can.' He
+assumed once more the tone of the Vienna diplomat. '_Que voulez-vous_,
+madame? These are revolutionary days. A man of intelligence must move
+with the Zeitgeist!'
+
+Lady Georgina burst into a loud laugh. 'And to think,' she cried, 'that
+I talked to this lackey from London to Malines without ever suspecting
+him! Higginson, you're a fraud--but you're a precious clever one.'
+
+He bowed. 'I am happy to have merited Lady Georgina Fawley's
+commendation,' he answered, with his palm on his heart, in his grandiose
+manner.
+
+'But I shall hand you over to the police all the same! You are a thief
+and a swindler!'
+
+He assumed a comic expression. 'Unhappily, not a thief,' he objected.
+'This young lady prevented me from appropriating your diamonds.
+_Convey_, the wise call it. I wanted to take your jewel-case--and she
+put me off with a sandwich-tin. I wanted to make an honest penny out of
+Mrs. Evelegh; and--she confronts me with your ladyship, and tears my
+moustache off.'
+
+Lady Georgina regarded him with a hesitating expression. 'But I shall
+call the police,' she said, wavering visibly.
+
+'_De grace_, my lady, _de grace_! Is it worth while, _pour si peu de
+chose_? Consider, I have really effected nothing. Will you charge me
+with having taken--in error--a small tin sandwich-case--value,
+elevenpence? An affair of a week's imprisonment. That is positively all
+you can bring up against me. And,' brightening up visibly, 'I have the
+case still; I will return it to-morrow with pleasure to your ladyship!'
+
+'But the india-rubber water-bottle?' I put in. 'You have been deceiving
+Mrs. Evelegh. It blackens silver. And you told her lies in order to
+extort money under false pretences.'
+
+He shrugged his shoulders. 'You are too clever for me, young lady,' he
+broke out. 'I have nothing to say to you. But Lady Georgina, Mrs.
+Evelegh--you are human--let me go! Reflect; I have things I could tell
+that would make both of you look ridiculous. That journey to Malines,
+Lady Georgina! Those Indian charms, Mrs. Evelegh! Besides, you have
+spoiled my game. Let that suffice you! I can practise in Switzerland no
+longer. Allow me to go in peace, and I will try once more to be
+indifferent honest!'
+
+[Illustration: INCH BY INCH HE RETREATED.]
+
+He backed slowly towards the door, with his eyes fixed on them. I stood
+by and waited. Inch by inch he retreated. Lady Georgina looked down
+abstractedly at the carpet. Mrs. Evelegh looked up abstractedly at the
+ceiling. Neither spoke another word. The rogue backed out by degrees.
+Then he sprang downstairs, and before they could decide was well out
+into the open.
+
+Lady Georgina was the first to break the silence. 'After all, my dear,'
+she murmured, turning to me, 'there was a deal of sound English
+common-sense about Dogberry!'
+
+I remembered then his charge to the watch to apprehend a rogue. 'How if
+'a will not stand?'
+
+'Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the
+rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.' When
+I remembered how Lady Georgina had hob-nobbed with the Count from Ostend
+to Malines, I agreed to a great extent both with her and with Dogberry.
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE IMPROMPTU MOUNTAINEER
+
+
+The explosion and evaporation of Dr. Fortescue-Langley (with whom were
+amalgamated the Comte de Laroche-sur-Loiret, Mr. Higginson the courier,
+and whatever else that versatile gentleman chose to call himself)
+entailed many results of varying magnitudes.
+
+In the first place, Mrs. Evelegh ordered a Great Manitou. That, however,
+mattered little to 'the firm,' as I loved to call us (because it shocked
+dear Elsie so); for, of course, after all her kindness we couldn't
+accept our commission on her purchase, so that she got her machine cheap
+for L15 from the maker. But, in the second place--I declare I am
+beginning to write like a woman of business--she decided to run over to
+England for the summer to see her boy at Portsmouth, being certain now
+that the discoloration of her bangle depended more on the presence of
+sulphur in the india-rubber bottle than on the passing state of her
+astral body. 'Tis an abrupt descent from the inner self to a hot-water
+bottle, I admit; but Mrs. Evelegh took the plunge with grace, like a
+sensible woman. Dr. Fortescue-Langley had been annihilated for her at
+one blow: she returned forthwith to common-sense and England.
+
+'What will you do with the _chalet_ while you're away?' Lady Georgina
+asked, when she announced her intention. 'You can't shut it up to take
+care of itself. Every blessed thing in the place will go to rack and
+ruin. Shutting up a house means spoiling it for ever. Why, I've got a
+cottage of my own that I let for the summer in the best part of
+Surrey--a pretty little place, now vacant, for which, by the way, I want
+a tenant, if you happen to know of one: and when it's left empty for a
+month or two----'
+
+'Perhaps it would do for me?' Mrs. Evelegh suggested, jumping at it.
+'I'm looking out for a furnished house for the summer, within easy reach
+of Portsmouth and London, for myself and Oliver.'
+
+Lady Georgina seized her arm, with a face of blank horror. 'My dear,'
+she cried. 'For you! I wouldn't dream of letting it to you. A nasty,
+damp, cold, unwholesome house, on stiff clay soil, with detestable
+drains, in the deadliest part of the Weald of Surrey,--why, you and your
+boy would catch your deaths of rheumatism.'
+
+'Is it the one I saw advertised in the _Times_ this morning, I wonder?'
+Mrs. Evelegh inquired in a placid voice. '"Charming furnished house on
+Holmesdale Common; six bedrooms, four reception-rooms; splendid views;
+pure air; picturesque surroundings; exceptionally situated." I thought
+of writing about it.'
+
+[Illustration: NEVER LEAVE A HOUSE TO THE SERVANTS, MY DEAR!]
+
+'That's it!' Lady Georgina exclaimed, with a demonstrative wave of her
+hand. 'I drew up the advertisement myself. Exceptionally situated! I
+should just think it was! Why, my dear, I wouldn't let you rent the
+place for worlds; a horrid, poky little hole, stuck down in the bottom
+of a boggy hollow, as damp as Devonshire, with the paper peeling off the
+walls, so that I had to take my choice between giving it up myself ten
+years ago, or removing to the cemetery; and I've let it ever since to
+City men with large families. Nothing would induce me to allow you and
+your boy to expose yourself to such risks.' For Lady Georgina had taken
+quite a fancy to Mrs. Evelegh. 'But what I was just going to say was
+this: you can't shut your house up; it'll all go mouldy. Houses always
+go mouldy, shut up in summer. And you can't leave it to your servants;
+_I_ know the baggages; no conscience--no conscience; they'll ask their
+entire families to come and stop with them _en bloc_, and turn your
+place into a perfect piggery. Why, when I went away from my house in
+town one autumn, didn't I leave a policeman and his wife in charge--a
+most respectable man--only he happened to be an Irishman. And what was
+the consequence? My dear, I assure you, I came back unexpectedly from
+poor dear Kynaston's one day--at a moment's notice--having quarrelled
+with him over Home Rule or Education or something--poor dear Kynaston's
+what they call a Liberal, I believe--got at by that man Rosebery--and
+there didn't I find all the O'Flanagans, and O'Flahertys, and O'Flynns
+in the neighbourhood camping out in my drawing-room; with a strong
+detachment of O'Donohues, and O'Dohertys, and O'Driscolls lying around
+loose in possession of the library? Never leave a house to the servants,
+my dear! It's positively suicidal. Put in a responsible caretaker of
+whom you know something--like Lois here, for instance.'
+
+'Lois!' Mrs. Evelegh echoed. 'Dear me, that's just the very thing. What
+a capital idea! I never thought of Lois! She and Elsie might stop on
+here, with Ursula and the gardener.'
+
+I protested that if we did it was our clear duty to pay a small rent;
+but Mrs. Evelegh brushed that aside. 'You've robbed yourselves over the
+bicycle,' she insisted, 'and I'm delighted to let you have it. It's I
+who ought to pay, for you'll keep the house dry for me.'
+
+I remembered Mr. Hitchcock--'Mutual advantage: benefits you, benefits
+me'--and made no bones about it. So in the end Mrs. Evelegh set off for
+England with Cecile, leaving Elsie and me in charge of Ursula, the
+gardener, and the _chalet_.
+
+As for Lady Georgina, having by this time completed her 'cure' at
+Schlangenbad (complexion as usual; no guinea yellower), she telegraphed
+for Gretchen--'I can't do without the idiot'--and hung round Lucerne,
+apparently for no other purpose but to send people up the Bruenig on the
+hunt for our wonderful new machines, and so put money in our pockets.
+She was much amused when I told her that Aunt Susan (who lived, you will
+remember, in respectable indigence at Blackheath) had written to
+expostulate with me on my 'unladylike' conduct in becoming a bicycle
+commission agent. 'Unladylike!--the Cantankerous Old Lady exclaimed,
+with warmth. 'What does the woman mean? Has she got no gumption? It's
+"ladylike," I suppose, to be a companion, or a governess, or a
+music-teacher, or something else in the black-thread-glove way, in
+London; but not to sell bicycles for a good round commission. My dear,
+between you and me, I don't see it. If you had a brother, now, _he_
+might sell cycles, or corner wheat, or rig the share market, or do
+anything else he pleased, in these days, and nobody'd think the worse of
+him--as long as he made money; and it's my opinion that what is sauce
+for the goose can't be far out for the gander--and _vice-versa_. Besides
+which, what's the use of _trying_ to be ladylike? You _are_ a lady,
+child, and you couldn't help being one; why trouble to be _like_ what
+nature made you? Tell Aunt Susan from me to put _that_ in her pipe and
+smoke it!'
+
+I _did_ tell Aunt Susan by letter, giving Lady Georgina's authority for
+the statement; and I really believe it had a consoling effect upon her;
+for Aunt Susan is one of those innocent-minded people who cherish a
+profound respect for the opinions and ideas of a Lady of Title.
+Especially where questions of delicacy are concerned. It calmed her to
+think that though I, an officer's daughter, had declined upon trade, I
+was mixing at least with the Best People!
+
+We had a lovely time at the _chalet_--two girls alone, messing just as
+we pleased in the kitchen, and learning from Ursula how to concoct
+_pot-au-feu_ in the most approved Swiss fashion. We pottered, as we
+women love to potter, half the day long; the other half we spent in
+riding our cycles about the eternal hills, and ensnaring the flies whom
+Lady Georgina dutifully sent up to us. She was our decoy duck: and, in
+virtue of her handle, she decoyed to a marvel. Indeed, I sold so many
+Manitous that I began to entertain a deep respect for my own commercial
+faculties. As for Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock, he wrote to me from Frankfort:
+'The world continues to revolve on its axis, the Manitou, and the
+machine is booming. Orders romp in daily. When you ventilated the
+suggestion of an agency at Limburg, I concluded at a glance you had the
+material of a first-class business woman about you; but I reckon I did
+not know what a traveller meant till you started on the road. I am now
+enlarging and altering this factory, to meet increased demands. Branch
+offices at Berlin, Hamburg, Crefeld, and Duesseldorf. Inspect our stock
+before dealing elsewhere. A liberal discount allowed to the trade. Two
+hundred agents wanted in all towns of Germany. If they were every one of
+them like _you_, miss--well, I guess I would hire the town of Frankfort
+for my business premises.'
+
+One morning, after we had spent about a week at the _chalet_ by
+ourselves, I was surprised to see a young man with a knapsack on his
+back walking up the garden path towards our cottage. 'Quick, quick,
+Elsie!' I cried, being in a mischievous mood. 'Come here with the
+opera-glass! There's a Man in the offing!'
+
+'A _what_?' Elsie exclaimed, shocked as usual at my levity.
+
+'A Man,' I answered, squeezing her arm. 'A Man! A real live Man! A
+specimen of the masculine gender in the human being! Man, ahoy! He has
+come at last--the lodestar of our existence!'
+
+Next minute, I was sorry I spoke; for as the man drew nearer, I
+perceived that he was endowed with very long legs and a languidly
+poetical bearing. That supercilious smile--that enticing moustache!
+Could it be?--yes, it was--not a doubt of it--Harold Tillington!
+
+I grew grave at once; Harold Tillington and the situation were serious.
+'What can he want here?' I exclaimed, drawing back.
+
+'Who is it?' Elsie asked; for, being a woman, she read at once in my
+altered demeanour the fact that the Man was not unknown to me.
+
+'Lady Georgina's nephew,' I answered, with a tell-tale cheek, I fear.
+'You remember I mentioned to you that I had met him at Schlangenbad. But
+this is really too bad of that wicked old Lady Georgina. She has told
+him where we lived and sent him up to see us.'
+
+'Perhaps,' Elsie put in, 'he wants to charter a bicycle.'
+
+I glanced at Elsie sideways. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that she
+said it slyly, like one who knew he wanted nothing of the sort. But at
+any rate, I brushed the suggestion aside frankly. 'Nonsense,' I
+answered. 'He wants _me_, not a bicycle.'
+
+He came up to us, waving his hat. He _did_ look handsome! 'Well, Miss
+Cayley,' he cried from afar, 'I have tracked you to your lair! I have
+found out where you abide! What a beautiful spot! And how well you're
+looking!'
+
+'This is an unexpected----' I paused. He thought I was going to say,
+'pleasure,' but I finished it, 'intrusion.' His face fell. 'How did you
+know we were at Lungern, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'My respected relative,' he answered, laughing. 'She
+mentioned--casually--' his eyes met mine--'that you were stopping in a
+_chalet_. And as I was on my way back to the diplomatic mill, I thought
+I might just as well walk over the Grimsel and the Furca, and then on to
+the Gotthard. The Court is at Monza. So it occurred to me ... that in
+passing ... I might venture to drop in and say how-do-you-do to you.'
+
+'Thank you,' I answered, severely--but my heart spoke otherwise--'I do
+very well. And you, Mr. Tillington?'
+
+'Badly,' he echoed. 'Badly, since _you_ went away from Schlangenbad.'
+
+I gazed at his dusty feet. 'You are tramping,' I said, cruelly. 'I
+suppose you will get forward for lunch to Meiringen?'
+
+'I-- I did not contemplate it.'
+
+'Indeed?'
+
+He grew bolder. 'No; to say the truth, I half hoped I might stop and
+spend the day here with you.'
+
+'Elsie,' I remarked firmly, 'if Mr. Tillington persists in planting
+himself upon us like this, one of us must go and investigate the kitchen
+department.'
+
+Elsie rose like a lamb. I have an impression that she gathered we wanted
+to be left alone.
+
+[Illustration: I MAY STAY, MAYN'T I?]
+
+He turned to me imploringly. 'Lois,' he cried, stretching out his arms,
+with an appealing air, 'I _may_ stay, mayn't I?'
+
+I tried to be stern; but I fear 'twas a feeble pretence. 'We are two
+girls, alone in a house,' I answered. 'Lady Georgina, as a matron of
+experience, ought to have protected us. Merely to give you lunch is
+almost irregular. (Good diplomatic word, irregular.) Still, in these
+days, I suppose you _may_ stay, if you leave early in the afternoon.
+That's the utmost I can do for you.'
+
+'You are not gracious,' he cried, gazing at me with a wistful look.
+
+I did not dare to be gracious. 'Uninvited guests must not quarrel with
+their welcome,' I answered severely. Then the woman in me broke forth.
+'But indeed, Mr. Tillington, I am glad to see you.'
+
+He leaned forward eagerly. 'So you are not angry with me, Lois? I may
+call you _Lois_?'
+
+I trembled and hesitated. 'I am not angry with you. I-- I like you too
+much to be ever angry with you. And I am glad you came--just this
+once--to see me.... Yes,--when we are alone--you may call me Lois.'
+
+He tried to seize my hand. I withdrew it. 'Then I may perhaps hope,' he
+began, 'that some day----'
+
+I shook my head. 'No, no,' I said, regretfully. 'You misunderstand me.
+I like you very much; and I like to see you. But as long as you are rich
+and have prospects like yours, I could never marry you. My pride
+wouldn't let me. Take that as final.'
+
+I looked away. He bent forward again. 'But if I were poor?' he put in,
+eagerly.
+
+I hesitated. Then my heart rose, and I gave way. 'If ever you are poor,'
+I faltered,--'penniless, hunted, friendless--come to me, Harold, and I
+will help and comfort you. But not till then. Not till then, I implore
+you.'
+
+He leant back and clasped his hands. 'You have given me something to
+live for, dear Lois,' he murmured. 'I will try to be poor--penniless,
+hunted, friendless. To win you I will try. And when that day arrives, I
+shall come to claim you.'
+
+We sat for an hour and had a delicious talk--about nothing. But we
+understood each other. Only that artificial barrier divided us. At the
+end of the hour, I heard Elsie coming back by judiciously slow stages
+from the kitchen to the living-room, through six feet of passage,
+discoursing audibly to Ursula all the way, with a tardiness that did
+honour to her heart and her understanding. Dear, kind little Elsie! I
+believe she had never a tiny romance of her own; yet her sympathy for
+others was sweet to look upon.
+
+We lunched at a small deal table in the veranda. Around us rose the
+pinnacles. The scent of pines and moist moss was in the air. Elsie had
+arranged the flowers, and got ready the omelette, and cooked the chicken
+cutlets, and prepared the junket. 'I never thought I could do it alone
+without you, Brownie; but I tried, and it all came right by magic,
+somehow.' We laughed and talked incessantly. Harold was in excellent
+cue; and Elsie took to him. A livelier or merrier table there wasn't in
+the twenty-two Cantons that day than ours, under the sapphire sky,
+looking out on the sun-smitten snows of the Jungfrau.
+
+After lunch, Harold begged hard to be allowed to stop for tea. I had
+misgivings, but I gave way--he _was_ such good company. One may as well
+be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, says the wisdom of our ancestors: and,
+after all, Mrs. Grundy was only represented here by Elsie, the gentlest
+and least censorious of her daughters. So he stopped and chatted till
+four; when I made tea and insisted on dismissing him. He meant to take
+the rough mountain path over the screes from Lungern to Meiringen, which
+ran right behind the _chalet_. I feared lest he might be belated, and
+urged him to hurry.
+
+'Thanks, I'm happier here,' he answered.
+
+I was sternness itself. 'You _promised_ me!' I said, in a reproachful
+voice.
+
+He rose instantly, and bowed. 'Your will is law--even when it pronounces
+sentence of exile.'
+
+Would we walk a little way with him? No, I faltered; we would not. We
+would follow him with the opera-glasses and wave him farewell when he
+reached the Kulm. He shook our hands unwillingly, and turned up the
+little path, looking handsomer than ever. It led ascending through a
+fir-wood to the rock-strewn hillside.
+
+Once, a quarter of an hour later, we caught a glimpse of him near a
+sharp turn in the road; after that we waited in vain, with our eyes
+fixed on the Kulm; not a sign could we discern of him. At last I grew
+anxious. 'He ought to be there,' I cried, fuming.
+
+'He ought,' Elsie answered.
+
+I swept the slopes with the opera-glasses. Anxiety and interest in him
+quickened my senses, I suppose. 'Look here, Elsie,' I burst out at last.
+'Just take this glass and have a glance at those birds, down the crag
+below the Kulm. Don't they seem to be circling and behaving most oddly?'
+
+Elsie gazed where I bid her. 'They're wheeling round and round,' she
+answered, after a minute; 'and they certainly _do_ look as if they were
+screaming.'
+
+'They seem to be frightened,' I suggested.
+
+'It looks like it, Brownie,'
+
+'Then he's fallen over a precipice!' I cried, rising up; 'and he's lying
+there on a ledge by their nest. Elsie, we must go to him!'
+
+She clasped her hands and looked terrified. 'Oh, Brownie, how dreadful!'
+she exclaimed. Her face was deadly white. Mine burned like fire.
+
+'Not a moment to lose!' I said, holding my breath. 'Get out the rope and
+let us run to him!'
+
+'Don't you think,' Elsie suggested, 'we had better hurry down on our
+cycles to Lungern and call some men from the village to help us? We are
+two girls, and alone. What can we do to aid him?'
+
+'No,' I answered, promptly, 'that won't do. It would only lose time--and
+time may be precious. You and I must go; I'll send Ursula off to bring
+up guides from the village.'
+
+Fortunately, we had a good long coil of new rope in the house, which
+Mrs. Evelegh had provided in case of accident. I slipped it on my arm,
+and set out on foot; for the path was by far too rough for cycles. I was
+sorry afterwards that I had not taken Ursula, and sent Elsie to Lungern
+to rouse the men; for she found the climbing hard, and I had difficulty
+at times in dragging her up the steep and stony pathway, almost a
+watercourse. However, we persisted in the direction of the Kulm,
+tracking Harold by his footprints; for he wore mountain boots with
+sharp-headed nails, which made dints in the moist soil, and scratched
+the smooth surface of the rock where he trod on it.
+
+We followed him thus for a mile or two, along the regular path; then of
+a sudden, in an open part, the trail failed us. I turned back, a few
+yards, and looked close, with my eyes fixed on the spongy soil, as keen
+as a hound that sniffs his way after his quarry. 'He went off _here_,
+Elsie!' I said at last, pulling up short by a spindle bush on the
+hillside.
+
+'How do you know, Brownie?'
+
+'Why, see, there are the marks of his stick; he had a thick one, you
+remember, with a square iron spike. These are its dints; I have been
+watching them all the way along from the _chalet_!
+
+'But there are so many such marks!'
+
+'Yes, I know; I can tell his from the older ones made by the spikes of
+alpenstocks because Harold's are fresher and sharper on the edge. They
+look so much newer. See, here, he slipped on the rock; you can know that
+scratch is recent by the clean way it's traced, and the little
+glistening crystals still left behind in it. Those other marks have been
+wind-swept and washed by the rain. There are no broken particles.'
+
+'How on earth did you find that out, Brownie?'
+
+How on earth did I find it out! I wondered myself. But the emergency
+seemed somehow to teach me something of the instinctive lore of hunters
+and savages. I did not trouble to answer her. 'At this bush, the tracks
+fail,' I went on; 'and, look, he must have clutched at that branch and
+crushed the broken leaves as the twigs slipped through his fingers. He
+left the path here, then, and struck off on a short cut of his own along
+the hillside, lower down. Elsie, we must follow him.'
+
+She shrank from it; but I held her hand. It was a more difficult task
+to track him now; for we had no longer the path to guide us. However, I
+explored the ground on my hands and knees, and soon found marks of
+footsteps on the boggy patches, with scratches on the rock where he had
+leapt from point to point, or planted his stick to steady himself. I
+tried to help Elsie along among the littered boulders and the dwarf
+growth of wind-swept daphne: but, poor child, it was too much for her:
+she sat down after a few minutes upon the flat juniper scrub and began
+to cry. What was I to do? My anxiety was breathless. I couldn't leave
+her there alone, and I couldn't forsake Harold. Yet I felt every minute
+might now be critical. We were making among wet whortleberry thicket and
+torn rock towards the spot where I had seen the birds wheel and circle,
+screaming. The only way left was to encourage Elsie and make her feel
+the necessity for instant action. 'He is alive still,' I exclaimed,
+looking up; 'the birds are crying! If he were dead, they would return to
+their nest-- Elsie, we _must_ get to him!'
+
+She rose, bewildered, and followed me. I held her hand tight, and coaxed
+her to scramble over the rocks where the scratches showed the way, or to
+clamber at times over fallen trunks of huge fir-trees. Yet it was hard
+work climbing; even Harold's sure feet had slipped often on the wet and
+slimy boulders, though, like most of Queen Margherita's set, he was an
+expert mountaineer. Then, at times, I lost the faint track, so that I
+had to diverge and look close to find it. These delays fretted me. 'See,
+a stone loosed from its bed--he must have passed by here.... That twig
+is newly snapped; no doubt he caught at it.... Ha, the moss there has
+been crushed; a foot has gone by. And the ants on that ant-hill, with
+their eggs in their mouths--a man's tread has frightened them.' So, by
+some instinctive sense, as if the spirit of my savage ancestors revived
+within me, I managed to recover the spoor again and again by a miracle,
+till at last, round a corner by a defiant cliff--with a terrible
+foreboding, my heart stood still within me.
+
+We had come to an end. A great projecting buttress of crag rose sheer in
+front. Above lay loose boulders. Below was a shrub-hung precipice. The
+birds we had seen from home were still circling and screaming.
+
+They were a pair of peregrine hawks. Their nest seemed to lie far below
+the broken scar, some sixty or seventy feet beneath us.
+
+'He is not dead!' I cried once more, with my heart in my mouth. 'If he
+were, they would have returned. He has fallen, and is lying, alive,
+below there!'
+
+[Illustration: I ADVANCED ON MY HANDS AND KNEES TO THE EDGE OF THE
+PRECIPICE.]
+
+Elsie shrank back against the wall of rock. I advanced on my hands and
+knees to the edge of the precipice. It was not quite sheer, but it
+dropped like a sea-cliff, with broken ledges.
+
+I could see where Harold had slipped. He had tried to climb round the
+crag that blocked the road, and the ground at the edge of the precipice
+had given way with him; it showed a recent founder of a few inches. Then
+he clutched at a branch of broom as he fell; but it slipped through his
+fingers, cutting them; for there was blood on the wiry stem. I knelt by
+the side of the cliff and craned my head over. I scarcely dared to look.
+In spite of the birds, my heart misgave me.
+
+There, on a ledge deep below, he lay in a mass, half raised on one arm.
+But not dead, I believed. 'Harold!' I cried. 'Harold!'
+
+He turned his face up and saw me; his eyes lighted with joy. He shouted
+back something, but I could not hear it.
+
+I turned to Elsie. 'I must go down to him!'
+
+Her tears rose again. 'Oh, Brownie!'
+
+I unwound the coil of rope. The first thing was to fasten it. I could
+not trust Elsie to hold it; she was too weak and too frightened to bear
+my weight: even if I wound it round her body, I feared my mere mass
+might drag her over. I peered about at the surroundings. No tree grew
+near; no rock had a pinnacle sufficiently safe to depend upon. But I
+found a plan soon. In the crag behind me was a cleft, narrowing
+wedge-shape as it descended. I tied the end of the rope round a stone,
+a good big water-worn stone, rudely girdled with a groove near the
+middle, which prevented it from slipping; then I dropped it down the
+fissure till it jammed; after which, I tried it to see if it would bear.
+It was firm as the rock itself. I let the rope down by it, and waited a
+moment to discover whether Harold could climb. He shook his head, and
+took a notebook with evident pain from his pocket. Then he scribbled a
+few words, and pinned them to the rope. I hauled it up. 'Can't move.
+Either severely bruised and sprained, or else legs broken.'
+
+There was no help for it, then. I must go to him.
+
+My first idea was merely to glide down the rope with my gloved hands,
+for I chanced to have my dog-skin bicycling gloves in my pocket.
+Fortunately, however, I did not carry out this crude idea too hastily;
+for next instant it occurred to me that I could not swarm up again. I
+have had no practice in rope-climbing. Here was a problem. But the
+moment suggested its own solution. I began making knots, or rather
+nooses or loops, in the rope, at intervals of about eighteen inches.
+'What are they for?' Elsie asked, looking on in wonder.
+
+'Footholds, to climb up by.'
+
+'But the ones above will pull out with your weight.'
+
+'I don't think so. Still, to make sure, I shall tie them with this
+string. I _must_ get down to him.'
+
+I threaded a sufficient number of loops, trying the length over the
+edge. Then I said to Elsie, who sat cowering, propped against the crag,
+'You must come and look over, and do as I wave to you. Mind, dear, you
+_must_! Two lives depend upon it.'
+
+'Brownie, I daren't? I shall turn giddy and fall over!'
+
+I smoothed her golden hair. 'Elsie, dear,' I said gently, gazing into
+her blue eyes, 'you are a woman. A woman can always be brave, where
+those she loves are concerned; and I believe you love me.' I led her,
+coaxingly, to the edge. 'Sit there,' I said, in my quietest voice, so as
+not to alarm her. 'You can lie at full length, if you like, and only
+just peep over. But when I wave my hand, remember, you must pull the
+rope up.'
+
+She obeyed me like a child. I knew she loved me.
+
+[Illustration: I GRIPPED THE ROPE AND LET MYSELF DOWN.]
+
+I gripped the rope and let myself down, not using the loops to descend,
+but just sliding with hands and knees, and allowing the knots to slacken
+my pace. Half-way down, I will confess, the eerie feeling of physical
+suspense was horrible. One hung so in mid-air! The hawks flapped their
+wings. But Harold was below; and a woman can always be brave where those
+she loves--well, just that moment, catching my breath, I knew I loved
+Harold.
+
+I glided down swiftly. The air whizzed. At last, on a narrow shelf of
+rock, I leant over him. He seized my hand. 'I knew you would come!' he
+cried. 'I felt sure you would find out. Though, _how_ you found out,
+Heaven only knows, you clever, brave little woman!'
+
+'Are you terribly hurt?' I asked, bending close. His clothes were torn.
+
+'I hardly know. I can't move. It may only be bruises.'
+
+'Can you climb by these nooses with my help?'
+
+He shook his head. 'Oh, no. I couldn't climb at all. I must be lifted,
+somehow. You had better go back to Lungern and bring men to help you.'
+
+'And leave you here alone! Never, Harold; never!'
+
+'Then what can we do?'
+
+I reflected a moment. 'Lend me your pencil,' I said. He pulled it
+out--his arms were almost unhurt, fortunately. I scribbled a line to
+Elsie. 'Tie my plaid to the rope and let it down.' Then I waved to her
+to pull up again.
+
+I was half surprised to find she obeyed the signal, for she crouched
+there, white-faced and open-mouthed, watching; but I have often observed
+that women are almost always brave in the great emergencies. She pinned
+on the plaid and let it down with commendable quickness. I doubled it,
+and tied firm knots in the four corners, so as to make it into a sort of
+basket; then I fastened it at each corner with a piece of the rope,
+crossed in the middle, till it looked like one of the cages they use in
+mills for letting down sacks with. As soon as it was finished, I said,
+'Now, just try to crawl into it.'
+
+He raised himself on his arms and crawled in with difficulty. His legs
+dragged after him. I could see he was in great pain. But still, he
+managed it.
+
+I planted my foot in the first noose. 'You must sit still,' I said,
+breathless. 'I am going back to haul you up.'
+
+'Are you strong enough, Lois?'
+
+'With Elsie to help me, yes. I often stroked a four at Girton.'
+
+'I can trust you,' he answered. It thrilled me that he said so.
+
+I began my hazardous journey; I mounted the rope by the nooses--one,
+two, three, four, counting them as I mounted. I did not dare to look up
+or down as I did so, lest I should grow giddy and fall, but kept my eyes
+fixed firmly always on the one noose in front of me. My brain swam: the
+rope swayed and creaked. Twenty, thirty, forty! Foot after foot, I
+slipped them in mechanically, taking up with me the longer coil whose
+ends were attached to the cage and Harold. My hands trembled; it was
+ghastly, swinging there between earth and heaven. Forty-five, forty-six,
+forty-seven-- I knew there were forty-eight of them. At last, after some
+weeks, as it seemed, I reached the summit. Tremulous and half dead, I
+prised myself over the edge with my hands, and knelt once more on the
+hill beside Elsie.
+
+She was white, but attentive. 'What next, Brownie?' Her voice quivered.
+
+I looked about me. I was too faint and shaky after my perilous ascent to
+be fit for work, but there was no help for it. What could I use as a
+pulley? Not a tree grew near; but the stone jammed in the fissure might
+once more serve my purpose. I tried it again. It had borne my weight;
+was it strong enough to bear the precious weight of Harold? I tugged at
+it, and thought so. I passed the rope round it like a pulley, and then
+tied it about my own waist. I had a happy thought: I could use myself as
+a windlass. I turned on my feet for a pivot. Elsie helped me to pull.
+'Up you go!' I cried, cheerily. We wound slowly, for fear of shaking
+him. Bit by bit, I could feel the cage rise gradually from the ground;
+its weight, taken so, with living capstan and stone axle, was less than
+I should have expected. But the pulley helped us, and Elsie, spurred by
+need, put forth more reserve of nervous strength than I could easily
+have believed lay in that tiny body. I twisted myself round and round,
+close to the edge, so as to look over from time to time, but not at all
+quickly, for fear of dizziness. The rope strained and gave. It was a
+deadly ten minutes of suspense and anxiety. Twice or thrice as I looked
+down I saw a spasm of pain break over Harold's face; but when I paused
+and glanced inquiringly, he motioned me to go on with my venturesome
+task. There was no turning back now. We had almost got him up when the
+rope at the edge began to creak ominously.
+
+It was straining at the point where it grated against the brink of the
+precipice. My heart gave a leap. If the rope broke, all was over.
+
+With a sudden dart forward, I seized it with my hands, below the part
+that gave; then--one fierce little run back--and I brought him level
+with the edge. He clutched at Elsie's hand. I turned thrice round, to
+wind the slack about my body. The taut rope cut deep into my flesh; but
+nothing mattered now, except to save him. 'Catch the cloak, Elsie!' I
+cried; 'catch it: pull him gently in!' Elsie caught it and pulled him
+in, with wonderful pluck and calmness. We hauled him over the edge. He
+lay safe on the bank. Then we all three broke down and cried like
+children together. I took his hand in mine and held it in silence.
+
+When we found words again I drew a deep breath, and said, simply, 'How
+did you manage to do it?'
+
+[Illustration: I ROLLED AND SLID DOWN.]
+
+'I tried to clamber past the wall that barred the way there by sheer
+force of stride--you know, my legs are long--and I somehow overbalanced
+myself. But I didn't exactly fall--if I had fallen, I must have been
+killed; I rolled and slid down, clutching at the weeds in the crannies
+as I slipped, and stumbling over the projections, without quite losing
+my foothold on the ledges, till I found myself brought up short with a
+bump at the end of it.'
+
+'And you think no bones are broken?'
+
+'I can't feel sure. It hurts me horribly to move. I fancy just at first
+I must have fainted. But I'm inclined to guess I'm only sprained and
+bruised and sore all over. Why, you're as bad as me, I believe. See,
+your dear hands are all torn and bleeding!'
+
+'How are we ever to get him back again, Brownie?' Elsie put in. She was
+paler than ever now, and prostrate with the after-effects of her
+unwonted effort.
+
+'You are a practical woman, Elsie,' I answered. 'Stop with him here a
+minute or two. I'll climb up the hillside and halloo for Ursula and the
+men from Lungern.'
+
+I climbed and hallooed. In a few minutes, worn out as I was, I had
+reached the path above and attracted their attention. They hurried down
+to where Harold lay, and, using my cage for a litter, slung on a young
+fir-trunk, carried him back between them across their shoulders to the
+village. He pleaded hard to be allowed to remain at the _chalet_, and
+Elsie joined her prayers to his; but, there, I was adamant. It was not
+so much what people might say that I minded, but a deeper difficulty.
+For if once I nursed him through this trouble, how could I or any woman
+in my place any longer refuse him? So I passed him ruthlessly on to
+Lungern (though my heart ached for it), and telegraphed at once to his
+nearest relative, Lady Georgina, to come up and take care of him.
+
+He recovered rapidly. Though sore and shaken, his worst hurts, it turned
+out, were sprains; and in three or four days he was ready to go on
+again. I called to see him before he left. I dreaded the interview; for
+one's own heart is a hard enemy to fight so long: but how could I let
+him go without one word of farewell to him?
+
+'After this, Lois,' he said, taking my hand in his--and I was weak
+enough, for a moment, to let it lie there--'you _cannot_ say No to me!'
+
+Oh, how I longed to fling myself upon him and cry out, 'No, Harold, I
+cannot! I love you too dearly!' But his future and Marmaduke Ashurst's
+half million restrained me: for his sake and for my own I held myself in
+courageously. Though, indeed, it needed some courage and self-control. I
+withdrew my hand slowly. 'Do you remember,' I said, 'you asked me that
+first day at Schlangenbad'--it was an epoch to me now, that first
+day--'whether I was mediaeval or modern? And I answered, "Modern, I
+hope." And you said, "That's well!"-- You see, I don't forget the least
+things you say to me. Well, because I am modern--'my lips trembled and
+belied me--'I can answer you No. I can even now refuse you. The
+old-fashioned girl, the mediaeval girl, would have held that because she
+saved your life (if I _did_ save your life, which is a matter of
+opinion) she was bound to marry you. But _I_ am modern, and I see things
+differently. If there were reasons at Schlangenbad which made it
+impracticable for me to accept you--though my heart pleaded hard--I do
+not deny it--those reasons cannot have disappeared merely because you
+have chosen to fall over a precipice, and I have pulled you up again. My
+decision was founded, you see, not on passing accidents of situation,
+but on permanent considerations. Nothing has happened in the last three
+days to affect those considerations. We are still ourselves: you, rich;
+I, a penniless adventuress. I could not accept you when you asked me at
+Schlangenbad. On just the same grounds, I cannot accept you now. I do
+not see how the unessential fact that I made myself into a winch to pull
+you up the cliff, and that I am still smarting for it----'
+
+He looked me all over comically. 'How severe we are!' he cried, in a
+bantering tone. 'And how extremely Girtony! A System of Logic,
+Ratiocinative and Inductive, by Lois Cayley! What a pity we didn't take
+a professor's chair. My child that isn't _you_! It's not yourself at
+all! It's an attempt to be unnaturally and unfemininely reasonable.'
+
+Logic fled. I broke down utterly. 'Harold,' I cried, rising, 'I love
+you! I admit I love you! But I will never marry you--while you have
+those thousands.'
+
+'I haven't got them yet!'
+
+'Or the chance of inheriting them.'
+
+He smothered my hand with kisses--for I withdrew my face. 'If you admit
+you love me,' he cried, quite joyously, 'then all is well. When once a
+woman admits that, the rest is but a matter of time--and, Lois, I can
+wait a thousand years for you.'
+
+'Not in my case,' I answered through my tears. 'Not in my case, Harold!
+I am a modern woman, and what I say I mean. I will renew my promise. If
+ever you are poor and friendless, come to me; I am yours. Till then,
+don't harrow me by asking me the impossible!'
+
+I tore myself away. At the hall door, Lady Georgina intercepted me. She
+glanced at my red eyes. 'Then you have taken him?' she cried, seizing my
+hand.
+
+I shook my head firmly. I could hardly speak. 'No, Lady Georgina,' I
+answered, in a choking voice. 'I have refused him again. I will not
+stand in his way. I will not ruin his prospects.'
+
+She drew back and let her chin drop. 'Well, of all the hard-hearted,
+cruel, obdurate young women I ever saw in my born days, if you're not
+the very hardest----'
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I half ran from the house. I hurried home to the _chalet_. There, I
+dashed into my own room, locked the door behind me, flung myself wildly
+on my bed, and, burying my face in my hands, had a good, long,
+hard-hearted, cruel, obdurate cry--exactly like any other mediaeval
+woman. It's all very well being modern; but my experience is that, when
+it comes to a man one loves--well, the Middle Ages are still horribly
+strong within us.
+
+
+
+
+VI
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN
+
+
+When Elsie's holidays--I beg pardon, vacation--came to an end, she
+proposed to return to her High School in London. Zeal for the higher
+mathematics devoured her. But she still looked so frail, and coughed so
+often--a perfect _Campo Santo_ of a cough--in spite of her summer of
+open-air exercise, that I positively worried her into consulting a
+doctor--not one of the Fortescue-Langley order. The report he gave was
+mildly unfavourable. He spoke disrespectfully of the apex of her right
+lung. It was not exactly tubercular, he remarked, but he 'feared
+tuberculosis'--excuse the long words; the phrase was his, not mine; I
+repeat _verbatim_. He vetoed her exposing herself to a winter in London
+in her present unstable condition. Davos? Well, no. _Not_ Davos: with
+deliberative thumb and finger on close-shaven chin. He judged her too
+delicate for such drastic remedies. Those high mountain stations suited
+best the robust invalid, who had dropped by accident into casual
+phthisis. For Miss Petheridge's case--looking wise--he would not
+recommend the Riviera, either: too stimulating, too exciting. What this
+young lady needed most was rest: rest in some agreeable southern town,
+some city of the soul--say Rome or Florence--where she might find much
+to interest her, and might forget the apex of her right lung in the new
+world of art that opened around her.
+
+'Very well,' I said, promptly; 'that's settled, Elsie. The apex and you
+shall winter in Florence.'
+
+'But, Brownie, can we afford it?'
+
+'Afford it?' I echoed. 'Goodness gracious, my dear child, what a
+bourgeois sentiment! Your medical attendant says to you, "Go to
+Florence": and to Florence you must go; there's no getting out of it.
+Why, even the swallows fly south when their medical attendant tells them
+England is turning a trifle too cold for them.'
+
+'But what will Miss Latimer say? She depends upon me to come back at the
+beginning of term. She _must_ have _somebody_ to undertake the higher
+mathematics.'
+
+'And she will get somebody, dear,' I answered, calmly. 'Don't trouble
+your sweet little head about that. An eminent statistician has
+calculated that five hundred and thirty duly qualified young women are
+now standing four-square in a solid phalanx in the streets of London,
+all agog to teach the higher mathematics to anyone who wants them at a
+moment's notice. Let Miss Latimer take her pick of the five hundred and
+thirty. I'll wire to her at once: "Elsie Petheridge unable through ill
+health to resume her duties. Ordered to Florence. Resigns post. Engage
+substitute." _That's_ the way to do it.'
+
+Elsie clasped her small white hands in the despair of the woman who
+considers herself indispensable--as if we were any of us indispensable!
+'But, dearest, the girls! They'll be _so_ disappointed!'
+
+'They'll get over it,' I answered, grimly. 'There are worse
+disappointments in store for them in life-- Which is a fine old crusted
+platitude worthy of Aunt Susan. Anyhow, I've decided. Look here, Elsie:
+I stand to you _in loco parentis_.' I have already remarked, I think,
+that she was three years my senior; but I was so pleased with this
+phrase that I repeated it lovingly. 'I stand to you, dear, _in loco
+parentis_. Now, I can't let you endanger your precious health by
+returning to town and Miss Latimer this winter. Let us be categorical. I
+go to Florence; you go with me.'
+
+'What shall we live upon?' Elsie suggested, piteously.
+
+'Our fellow-creatures, as usual,' I answered, with prompt callousness.
+'I object to these base utilitarian considerations being imported into
+the discussion of a serious question. Florence is the city of art; as a
+woman of culture, it behoves you to revel in it. Your medical attendant
+sends you there; as a patient and an invalid, you can revel with a clear
+conscience. Money? Well, money is a secondary matter. All philosophies
+and all religions agree that money is mere dross, filthy lucre. Rise
+superior to it. We have a fair sum in hand to the credit of the firm; we
+can pick up some more, I suppose, in Florence.'
+
+'How?'
+
+I reflected. 'Elsie,' I said, 'you are deficient in Faith--which is one
+of the leading Christian graces. My mission in life is to correct that
+want in your spiritual nature. Now, observe how beautifully all these
+events work in together! The winter comes, when no man can bicycle,
+especially in Switzerland. Therefore, what is the use of my stopping on
+here after October? Again, in pursuance of my general plan of going
+round the world, I must get forward to Italy. Your medical attendant
+considerately orders you at the same time to Florence. In Florence we
+shall still have chances of selling Manitous, though possibly, I admit,
+in diminished numbers. I confess at once that people come to Switzerland
+to tour, and are therefore liable to need our machines; while they go to
+Florence to look at pictures, and a bicycle would doubtless prove
+inconvenient in the Uffizi or the Pitti. Still, we _may_ sell a few. But
+I descry another opening. You write shorthand, don't you?'
+
+'A little, dear; only ninety words a minute.'
+
+'_That's_ not business. Advertise yourself, _a la_ Cyrus Hitchcock! Say
+boldly, "I write shorthand." Leave the world to ask, "How fast?" It will
+ask it quick enough without your suggesting it. Well, my idea is this.
+Florence is a town teeming with English tourists of the cultivated
+classes--men of letters, painters, antiquaries, art-critics. I suppose
+even art-critics may be classed as cultivated. Such people are sure to
+need literary aid. We exist, to supply it. We will set up the Florentine
+School of Stenography and Typewriting. We'll buy a couple of
+typewriters.'
+
+'How can we pay for them, Brownie?'
+
+[Illustration: THERE'S ENTERPRISE FOR YOU!]
+
+I gazed at her in despair. 'Elsie,' I cried, clapping my hand to my
+head, 'you are not practical. Did I ever suggest we should pay for them?
+I said merely, buy them. Base is the slave that pays. That's
+Shakespeare. And we all know Shakespeare is the mirror of nature. Argal,
+it would be unnatural to pay for a typewriter. We will hire a room in
+Florence (on tick, of course), and begin operations. Clients will flock
+in; and we tide over the winter. _There's_ enterprise for you!' And I
+struck an attitude.
+
+Elsie's face looked her doubts. I walked across to Mrs. Evelegh's desk,
+and began writing a letter. It occurred to me that Mr. Hitchcock, who
+was a man of business, might be able to help a woman of business in this
+delicate matter. I put the point to him fairly and squarely, without
+circumlocution; we were going to start an English typewriting office in
+Florence; what was the ordinary way for people to become possessed of a
+typewriting machine, without the odious and mercenary preliminary of
+paying for it? The answer came back with commendable promptitude.
+
+     DEAR MISS,--Your spirit of enterprise is really remarkable! I have
+     forwarded your letter to my friends of the Spread Eagle
+     Typewriting and Phonograph Company, Limited, of New York City,
+     informing them of your desire to open an agency for the sale of
+     their machines in Florence, Italy, and giving them my estimate of
+     your business capacities. I have advised their London house to
+     present you with two complimentary machines for your own use and
+     your partner's, and also to supply a number of others for disposal
+     in the city of Florence. If you would further like to undertake an
+     agency for the development of the trade in salt codfish (large
+     quantities of which are, of course, consumed in Catholic Europe),
+     I could put you into communication with my respected friends,
+     Messrs. Abel Woodward and Co., exporters of preserved provisions,
+     St John, Newfoundland. But, perhaps in this suggestion I am not
+     sufficiently high-toned.--Respectfully, CYRUS W. HITCHCOCK.
+
+The moment had arrived for Elsie to be firm. 'I have no prejudice
+against trade, Brownie,' she observed emphatically; 'but I do draw the
+line at salt fish.'
+
+'So do I, dear,' I answered.
+
+She sighed her relief. I really believe she half expected to find me
+trotting about Florence with miscellaneous samples of Messrs. Abel
+Woodward's esteemed productions protruding from my pocket.
+
+So to Florence we went. My first idea was to travel by the Brenner route
+through the Tyrol; but a queer little episode which met us at the outset
+on the Austrian frontier put a check to this plan. We cycled to the
+border, sending our trunks on by rail. When we went to claim them at the
+Austrian Custom-house, we were told they were detained 'for political
+reasons.'
+
+'Political reasons?' I exclaimed, nonplussed.
+
+'Even so, Fraeulein. Your boxes contain revolutionary literature.'
+
+'Some mistake!' I cried, warmly. I am but a drawing-room Socialist.
+
+'Not at all; look here.' And he drew a small book out of Elsie's
+portmanteau.
+
+What? Elsie a conspirator? Elsie in league with Nihilists? So mild and
+so meek! I could never have believed it. I took the book in my hands and
+read the title, 'Revolution of the Heavenly Bodies.'
+
+'But this is astronomy,' I burst out. 'Don't you see? Sun-and-star
+circling. The revolution of the planets.'
+
+'It matters not, Fraeulein. Our instructions are strict. We have orders
+to intercept _all_ revolutionary literature without distinction.'
+
+'Come, Elsie,' I said, firmly, 'this is _too_ ridiculous. Let us give
+them a clear berth, these Kaiserly-Kingly blockheads!' So we registered
+our luggage right back to Lucerne, and cycled over the Gotthard.
+
+[Illustration: PAINTING THE SIGN-BOARD.]
+
+When at last, by leisurely stages, we arrived at Florence, I felt there
+was no use in doing things by halves. If you are going to start the
+Florentine School of Stenography and Typewriting, you may as well start
+it on a proper basis. So I took sunny rooms at a nice hotel for myself
+and Elsie, and hired a ground floor in a convenient house, close under
+the shadow of the great marble Campanile. (Considerations of space
+compel me to curtail the usual gush about Arnolfo and Giotto.) This was
+our office. When I had got a Tuscan painter to plant our flag in the
+shape of a sign-board, I sailed forth into the street and inspected it
+from outside with a swelling heart. It is true, the Tuscan painter's
+unaccountable predilection for the rare spellings 'Scool' without an _h_
+and 'Stenografy' with an _f_, somewhat damped my exuberant pride for the
+moment; but I made him take the board back and correct his Italianate
+English. As soon as all was fitted up with desk and tables we reposed
+upon our laurels, and waited only for customers in shoals to pour in
+upon us. _I_ called them 'customers'; Elsie maintained that we ought
+rather to say 'clients.' Being by temperament averse to sectarianism, I
+did not dispute the point with her.
+
+We reposed on our laurels--in vain. Neither customers nor clients seemed
+in any particular hurry to disturb our leisure.
+
+I confess I took this ill. It was a rude awakening. I had begun to
+regard myself as the special favourite of a fairy godmother; it
+surprised me to find that any undertaking of mine did not succeed
+immediately. However, reflecting that my fairy godmother's name was
+really Enterprise, I recalled Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock's advice, and
+advertised.
+
+'There's one good thing about Florence, Elsie,' I said, just to keep up
+her courage. 'When the customers _do_ come, they'll be interesting
+people, and it will be interesting work. Artistic work, don't you
+know--Fra Angelico, and Della Robbia, and all that sort of thing; or
+else fresh light on Dante and Petrarch!'
+
+'When they _do_ come, no doubt,' Elsie answered, dubiously. 'But do you
+know, Brownie, it strikes me there isn't quite that literary stir and
+ferment one might expect in Florence. Dante and Petrarch appear to be
+dead. The distinguished authors fail to stream in upon us as one
+imagined with manuscripts to copy.'
+
+I affected an air of confidence--for I had sunk capital in the concern
+(that's business-like--sunk capital!). 'Oh, we're a new firm,' I
+assented, carelessly. 'Our enterprise is yet young. When cultivated
+Florence learns we're here, cultivated Florence will invade us in its
+thousands.'
+
+But we sat in our office and bit our thumbs all day; the thousands
+stopped at home. We had ample opportunities for making studies of the
+decorative detail on the Campanile, till we knew every square inch of it
+better than Mr. Ruskin. Elsie's notebook contains, I believe, eleven
+hundred separate sketches of the Campanile, from the right end, the left
+end, and the middle of our window, with eight hundred and five distinct
+distortions of the individual statues that adorn its niches on the side
+turned towards us.
+
+At last, after we had sat, and bitten our thumbs, and sketched the Four
+Greater Prophets for a fortnight on end, an immense excitement occurred.
+An old gentleman was distinctly seen to approach and to look up at the
+sign-board which decorated our office.
+
+I instantly slipped in a sheet of foolscap, and began to type-write with
+alarming speed--click, click, click; while Elsie, rising to the
+occasion, set to work to transcribe imaginary shorthand as if her life
+depended upon it.
+
+The old gentleman, after a moment's hesitation, lifted the latch of the
+door somewhat nervously. I affected to take no notice of him, so
+breathless was the haste with which our immense business connection
+compelled me to finger the keyboard: but, looking up at him under my
+eyelashes, I could just make out he was a peculiarly bland and urbane
+old person, dressed with the greatest care, and some attention to
+fashion. His face was smooth; it tended towards portliness.
+
+He made up his mind, and entered the office. I continued to click till I
+had reached the close of a sentence--'Or to take arms against a sea of
+troubles, and by opposing, end them.' Then I looked up sharply. 'Can I
+do anything for you?' I inquired, in the smartest tone of business. (I
+observe that politeness is not professional.)
+
+[Illustration: THE URBANE OLD GENTLEMAN.]
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman came forward with his hat in his hand. He
+looked as if he had just landed from the Eighteenth Century. His figure
+was that of Mr. Edward Gibbon. 'Yes, madam,' he said, in a markedly
+deferential tone, fussing about with the rim of his hat as he spoke, and
+adjusting his _pince-nez_. 'I was recommended to your--ur--your
+establishment for shorthand and typewriting. I have some work which I
+wish done, if it falls within your province. But I am _rather_
+particular. I require a quick worker. Excuse my asking it, but how many
+words can you do a minute?'
+
+'Shorthand?' I asked, sharply, for I wished to imitate official habits.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman bowed. 'Yes, shorthand. Certainly.'
+
+I waved my hand with careless grace towards Elsie--as if these things
+happened to us daily. 'Miss Petheridge undertakes the shorthand
+department,' I said, with decision. 'I am the typewriting from
+dictation. Miss Petheridge, forward!'
+
+Elsie rose to it like an angel. 'A hundred,' she answered, confronting
+him.
+
+The old gentleman bowed again. 'And your terms?' he inquired, in a
+honey-tongued voice. 'If I may venture to ask them.'
+
+We handed him our printed tariff. He seemed satisfied.
+
+'Could you spare me an hour this morning?' he asked, still fingering his
+hat nervously with his puffy hand. 'But perhaps you are engaged. I fear
+I intrude upon you.'
+
+'Not at all,' I answered, consulting an imaginary engagement list. 'This
+work can wait. Let me see: 11.30. Elsie, I think you have nothing to do
+before one, that cannot be put off? Quite so!--very well, then; yes, we
+are both at your service.'
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman looked about him for a seat. I pushed him our
+one easy chair. He withdrew his gloves with great deliberation, and sat
+down in it with an apologetic glance. I could gather from his dress and
+his diamond pin that he was wealthy. Indeed, I half guessed who he was
+already. There was a fussiness about his manner which seemed strangely
+familiar to me.
+
+He sat down by slow degrees, edging himself about till he was thoroughly
+comfortable. I could see he was of the kind that will have comfort. He
+took out his notes and a packet of letters, which he sorted slowly. Then
+he looked hard at me and at Elsie. He seemed to be making his choice
+between us. After a time he spoke. 'I _think_,' he said, in a most
+leisurely voice, 'I will not trouble your friend to write shorthand for
+me, after all. Or should I say your assistant? Excuse my change of plan.
+I will content myself with dictation. You can follow on the machine?'
+
+'As fast as you choose to dictate to me.'
+
+He glanced at his notes and began a letter. It was a curious
+communication. It seemed to be all about buying Bertha and selling
+Clara--a cold-blooded proceeding which almost suggested slave-dealing. I
+gathered he was giving instructions to his agent: could he have business
+relations with Cuba, I wondered. But there were also hints of mysterious
+middies--brave British tars to the rescue, possibly! Perhaps my
+bewilderment showed itself upon my face, for at last he looked queerly
+at me. 'You don't quite like this, I'm afraid,' he said, breaking off
+short.
+
+I was the soul of business. 'Not at all,' I answered. 'I am an
+automaton--nothing more. It is a typewriter's function to transcribe the
+words a client dictates as if they were absolutely meaningless to her.'
+
+'Quite right,' he answered, approvingly. 'Quite right. I see you
+understand. A very proper spirit!'
+
+Then the Woman within me got the better of the Typewriter. 'Though I
+confess,' I continued, 'I _do_ feel it is a little unkind to
+sell Clara at once for whatever she will fetch. It seems to
+me--well--unchivalrous.'
+
+He smiled, but held his peace.
+
+'Still--the middies,' I went on: 'they will perhaps take care that these
+poor girls are not ill-treated.'
+
+He leaned back, clasped his hands, and regarded me fixedly. 'Bertha,' he
+said, after a pause, 'is Brighton A's--to be strictly correct, London,
+Brighton, and South Coast First Preference Debentures. Clara is Glasgow
+and South-Western Deferred Stock. Middies are Midland Ordinary. But I
+respect your feeling. You are a young lady of principle.' And he
+fidgeted more than ever.
+
+[Illustration: HE WENT ON DICTATING FOR JUST AN HOUR.]
+
+He went on dictating for just an hour. His subject-matter bewildered me.
+It was all about India Bills, and telegraphic transfers, and selling
+cotton short, and holding tight to Egyptian Unified. Markets, it seemed,
+were glutted. Hungarians were only to be dealt in if they
+hardened--hardened sinners I know, but what are hardened Hungarians? And
+fears were not unnaturally expressed that Turks might be 'irregular,'
+Consols, it appeared, were certain to give way for political reasons;
+but the downward tendency of Australians, I was relieved to learn, for
+the honour of so great a group of colonies, could only be temporary.
+Greeks were growing decidedly worse, though I had always understood
+Greeks were bad enough already; and Argentine Central were likely to be
+weak; but Provincials must soon become commendably firm, and if Uruguays
+went flat, something good ought to be made out of them. Scotch rails
+might shortly be quiet-- I always understood they were based upon
+sleepers; but if South-Eastern stiffened, advantage should certainly be
+taken of their stiffening. He would telegraph particulars on Monday
+morning. And so on till my brain reeled. Oh, artistic Florence! was
+_this_ the Filippo Lippi, the Michael Angelo I dreamed of?
+
+At the end of the hour, the Urbane Old Gentleman rose urbanely. He drew
+on his gloves again with the greatest deliberation, and hunted for his
+stick as if his life depended upon it. 'Let me see; I had a pencil; oh,
+thanks; yes, that is it. This cover protects the point. My hat? Ah,
+certainly. And my notes; much obliged; notes _always_ get mislaid.
+People are so careless. Then I will come again to-morrow; the same hour,
+if you will kindly keep yourself disengaged. Though, excuse me, you had
+better make an entry of it at once upon your agenda.'
+
+'I shall remember it,' I answered, smiling.
+
+'No; will you? But you haven't my name.'
+
+'I know it,' I answered. 'At least, I think so. You are Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst. Lady Georgina Fawley sent you here.'
+
+He laid down his hat and gloves again, so as to regard me more
+undistracted. 'You are a most remarkable young lady,' he said, in a very
+slow voice. 'I impressed upon Georgina that she must not mention to you
+that I was coming. How on earth did you recognise me?'
+
+'Intuition, most likely.'
+
+He stared at me with a sort of suspicion. '_Please_ don't tell me you
+think me like my sister,' he went on. 'For though, of course, every
+right-minded man feels--ur--a natural respect and affection for the
+members his family--bows, if I may so say, to the inscrutable decrees of
+Providence--which has mysteriously burdened him with them--still, there
+_are_ points about Lady Georgina which I cannot conscientiously assert I
+approve of.'
+
+I remembered 'Marmy's a fool,' and held my tongue judiciously.
+
+'I do not resemble her, I hope,' he persisted, with a look which I could
+almost describe as wistful.
+
+'A family likeness, perhaps,' I put in. 'Family likenesses exist, you
+know--often with complete divergence of tastes and character.'
+
+He looked relieved. 'That is true. Oh, how true! But the likeness in my
+case, I must admit, escapes me.'
+
+I temporised. 'Strangers see these things most,' I said, airing the
+stock platitudes. 'It may be superficial. And, of course, one knows that
+profound differences of intellect and moral feeling often occur within
+the limits of a single family.'
+
+'You are quite right,' he said, with decision. 'Georgina's principles
+are not mine. Excuse my remarking it, but you seem to be a young lady of
+unusual penetration.'
+
+I saw he took my remark as a compliment. What I really meant to say was
+that a commonplace man might easily be brother to so clever a woman as
+Lady Georgina.
+
+[Illustration: HE BOWED TO US EACH SEPARATELY.]
+
+He gathered up his hat, his stick, his gloves, his notes, and his
+typewritten letters, one by one, and backed out politely. He was a
+punctilious millionaire. He had risen by urbanity to his brother
+directors, like a model guinea-pig. He bowed to us each separately as if
+we had been duchesses.
+
+As soon as he was gone, Elsie turned to me. 'Brownie, how on earth did
+you guess it? They're so awfully different!'
+
+'Not at all,' I answered. 'A few surface unlikenesses only just mask an
+underlying identity. Their features are the same; but his are plump;
+hers, shrunken. Lady Georgina's expression is sharp and worldly; Mr.
+Ashurst's is smooth, and bland, and financial. And then their manner!
+Both are fussy; but Lady Georgina's is honest, open, ill-tempered
+fussiness; Mr. Ashurst's is concealed under an artificial mask of
+obsequious politeness. One's cantankerous; the other's only pernicketty.
+It's one tune, after all, in two different keys.'
+
+From that day forth, the Urbane Old Gentleman was a daily visitor. He
+took an hour at a time at first; but after a few days, the hour
+lengthened out (apologetically) to an entire morning. He 'presumed to
+ask' my Christian name the second day, and remembered my father--'a man
+of excellent principles.' But he didn't care for Elsie to work for him.
+Fortunately for her, other work dropped in, once we had found a client,
+or else, poor girl, she would have felt sadly slighted. I was glad she
+had something to do; the sense of dependence weighed heavily upon her.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman did not confine himself entirely, after the
+first few days, to Stock Exchange literature. He was engaged on a
+Work--he spoke of it always with bated breath, and a capital letter was
+implied in his intonation; the Work was one on the Interpretation of
+Prophecy. Unlike Lady Georgina, who was tart and crisp, Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst was devout and decorous; where she said 'pack of fools,' he
+talked with unction of 'the mental deficiencies of our poorer brethren.'
+But his religious opinions and his stockbroking had got strangely mixed
+up at the wash somehow. He was convinced that the British nation
+represented the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel--and in particular Ephraim--a
+matter on which, as a mere lay-woman, I would not presume either to
+agree with him or to differ from him. 'That being so, Miss Cayley, we
+can easily understand that the existing commercial prosperity of England
+depends upon the promises made to Abraham.'
+
+I assented, without committing myself. 'It would seem to follow.'
+
+Mr. Ashurst, encouraged by so much assent, went on to unfold his System
+of Interpretation, which was of a strictly commercial or
+company-promoting character. It ran like a prospectus. 'We have
+inherited the gold of Australia and the diamonds of the Cape,' he said,
+growing didactic, and lifting one fat forefinger; 'we are now inheriting
+Klondike and the Rand, for it is morally certain that we shall annex the
+Transvaal. Again, "the chief things of the ancient mountains, and the
+precious things of the everlasting hills." What does that mean? The
+ancient mountains are clearly the Rockies; can the everlasting hills be
+anything but the Himalayas? "For they shall suck of the abundance of the
+seas"--that refers, of course, to our world-wide commerce, due mainly to
+imports--"and of the treasures hid in the sand." Which sand?
+Undoubtedly, I say, the desert of Mount Sinai. What then is our obvious
+destiny? A lady of your intelligence must gather at once that it
+is----?' He paused and gazed at me.
+
+'To drive the Sultan out of Syria,' I suggested tentatively, 'and to
+annex Palestine to our practical province of Egypt?'
+
+He leaned back in his chair and folded his fat hands in undisguised
+satisfaction. 'Now, you are a thinker of exceptional penetration,' he
+broke out. 'Do you know, Miss Cayley, I have tried to make that point
+clear to the War Office, and the Prime Minister, and many leading
+financiers in the City of London, and I _can't_ get them to see it. They
+have no heads, those people. But _you_ catch at it at a glance. Why, I
+endeavoured to interest Rothschild and induce him to join me in my
+Palestine Development Syndicate, and, will you believe it, the man
+refused point blank. Though if he had only looked at Nahum iii. 17----'
+
+'Mere financiers,' I said, smiling, 'will not consider these questions
+from a historical and prophetic point of view. They see nothing above
+percentages.'
+
+'That's it,' he replied, lighting up. 'They have no higher feelings.
+Though, mind you, there will be dividends too; mark my words, there will
+be dividends. This syndicate, besides fulfilling the prophecies, will
+pay forty per cent on every penny embarked in it.'
+
+'Only forty per cent for Ephraim!' I murmured, half below my breath.
+'Why, Judah is said to batten upon sixty.'
+
+He caught at it eagerly, without perceiving my gentle sarcasm.
+
+'In that case, we might even expect seventy,' he put in with a gasp of
+anticipation. 'Though I approached Rothschild first with my scheme on
+purpose, so that Israel and Judah might once more unite in sharing the
+promises.'
+
+'Your combined generosity and commercial instinct does you credit,' I
+answered. 'It is rare to find so much love for an abstract study side by
+side with such conspicuous financial ability.'
+
+His guilelessness was beyond words. He swallowed it like an infant. 'So
+I think,' he answered. 'I am glad to observe that you understand my
+character. Mere City men don't. They have no soul above shekels. Though,
+as I show them, there are shekels in it, too. Dividends, dividends,
+di-vidends. But _you_ are a lady of understanding and comprehension. You
+have been to Girton, haven't you? Perhaps you read Greek, then?'
+
+'Enough to get on with.'
+
+'Could you look things up in Herodotus?'
+
+'Certainly?'
+
+'In the original?'
+
+'Oh, dear, yes.'
+
+He regarded me once more with the same astonished glance. His own
+classics, I soon learnt, were limited to the amount which a public
+school succeeds in dinning, during the intervals of cricket and football
+into an English gentleman. Then he informed me that he wished me to hunt
+up certain facts in Herodotus "and elsewhere" confirmatory of his view
+that the English were the descendants of the Ten Tribes. I promised to
+do so, swallowing even that comprehensive "elsewhere." It was none of my
+business to believe or disbelieve: I was paid to get up a case, and I
+got one up to the best of my ability. I imagine it was at least as good
+as most other cases in similar matters: at any rate, it pleased the old
+gentleman vastly.
+
+By dint of listening, I began to like him. But Elsie couldn't bear him.
+She hated the fat crease at the back of his neck, she told me.
+
+After a week or two devoted to the Interpretation of Prophecy on a
+strictly commercial basis of Founders' Shares, with interludes of mining
+engineers' reports upon the rubies of Mount Sinai and the supposed
+auriferous quartzites of Palestine, the Urbane Old Gentleman trotted
+down to the office one day, carrying a packet of notes of most
+voluminous magnitude. "Can we work in a room alone this morning, Miss
+Cayley?" he asked, with mystery in his voice: he was always mysterious.
+"I want to intrust you with a piece of work of an exceptionally private
+and confidential character. It concerns Property. In point of fact," he
+dropped his voice to a whisper. "I want you to draw up my will for me."
+
+"Certainly," I said, opening the door into the back office. But I
+trembled in my shoes. Could this mean that he was going to draw up a
+will, disinheriting Harold Tillington?
+
+And, suppose he did, what then? My heart was in a tumult. If Harold were
+rich--well and good, I could never marry him. But, if Harold were poor--
+I must keep my promise. Could I wish him to be rich? Could I wish him to
+be poor? My heart stood divided two ways within me.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman began with immense deliberation, as befits a
+man of principle when Property is at stake. 'You will kindly take down
+notes from my dictation,' he said, fussing with his papers; 'and
+afterwards, I will ask you to be so good as to copy it all out fair on
+your typewriter for signature.'
+
+'Is a typewritten form legal?' I ventured to inquire.
+
+'A most perspicacious young lady!' he interjected, well pleased. 'I have
+investigated that point, and find it perfectly regular. Only, if I may
+venture to say so, there should be no erasures.'
+
+'There shall be none,' I answered.
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman leant back in his easy chair, and began
+dictating from his notes with tantalising deliberateness. This was the
+last will and testament of him, Marmaduke Courtney Ashurst. Its verbiage
+wearied me. I was eager for him to come to the point about Harold.
+Instead of that, he did what it seems is usual in such cases--set out
+with a number of unimportant legacies to old family servants and other
+hangers-on among 'our poorer brethren.' I fumed and fretted inwardly.
+Next came a series of quaint bequests of a quite novel character. 'I
+give and bequeath to James Walsh and Sons, of 720 High Holborn, London,
+the sum of Five Hundred Pounds, in consideration of the benefit they
+have conferred upon humanity by the invention of a sugar-spoon or silver
+sugar-sifter, by means of which it is possible to dust sugar upon a
+tart or pudding without letting the whole or the greater part of the
+material run through the apertures uselessly in transit. You must have
+observed, Miss Cayley--with your usual perspicacity--that most
+sugar-sifters allow the sugar to fall through them on to the table
+prematurely.'
+
+'I have noticed it,' I answered, trembling with anxiety.
+
+'James Walsh and Sons, acting on a hint from me, have succeeded in
+inventing a form of spoon which does not possess that regrettable
+drawback. "Run through the apertures uselessly in transit," I think I
+said last. Yes, thank you. Very good. We will now continue. And I give
+and bequeath the like sum of Five Hundred Pounds--did I say, free of
+legacy duty? No? Then please add it to James Walsh's clause. Five
+Hundred Pounds, free of legacy duty, to Thomas Webster Jones, of Wheeler
+Street, Soho, for his admirable invention of a pair of braces which will
+not slip down on the wearer's shoulders after half an hour's use. Most
+braces, you must have observed, Miss Cayley----'
+
+'My acquaintance with braces is limited, not to say abstract,' I
+interposed, smiling.
+
+He gazed at me, and twirled his fat thumbs.
+
+'_Of_ course,' he murmured. '_Of_ course. But most braces, you may not
+be aware, slip down unpleasantly on the shoulder-blade, and so lead to
+an awkward habit of hitching them up by the sleeve-hole of the waistcoat
+at frequent intervals. Such a habit must be felt to be ungraceful.
+Thomas Webster Jones, to whom I pointed out this error of manufacture,
+has invented a brace the two halves of which diverge at a higher angle
+than usual, and fasten further towards the centre of the body in
+front--pardon these details--so as to obviate that difficulty. He has
+given me satisfaction, and he deserves to be rewarded.'
+
+I heard through it all the voice of Lady Georgina observing, tartly,
+'Why the idiots can't make braces to fit one at first passes _my_
+comprehension. But, there, my dear; the people who manufacture them are
+a set of born fools, and what can you expect from an imbecile?' Mr.
+Ashurst was Lady Georgina, veneered with a thin layer of ingratiating
+urbanity. Lady Georgina was clever, and therefore acrimonious. Mr.
+Ashurst was astute, and therefore obsequious.
+
+He went on with legacies to the inventor of a sauce-bottle which did not
+let the last drop dribble down so as to spot the table-cloth; of a
+shoe-horn the handle of which did not come undone; and of a pair of
+sleeve-links which you could put off and on without injury to the
+temper. 'A real benefactor, Miss Cayley; a real benefactor to the
+link-wearing classes; for he has sensibly diminished the average annual
+output of profane swearing.'
+
+When he left Five Hundred Pounds to his faithful servant Frederic
+Higginson, courier, I was tempted to interpose; but I refrained in time,
+and I was glad of it afterwards.
+
+At last, after many divagations, my Urbane Old Gentleman arrived at the
+central point--'and I give and bequeath to my nephew, Harold Ashurst
+Tillington, Younger of Gledcliffe, Dumfriesshire, attache to Her
+Majesty's Embassy at Rome----'
+
+[Illustration: I WAITED BREATHLESS.]
+
+I waited, breathless.
+
+He was annoyingly dilatory. 'My house and estate of Ashurst Court, in
+the County of Gloucester, and my town house at 24 Park Lane North, in
+London, together with the residue of all my estate, real or
+personal----' and so forth.
+
+I breathed again. At least, I had not been called upon to disinherit
+Harold.
+
+'Provided always----' he went on, in the same voice.
+
+I wondered what was coming.
+
+'Provided always that the said Harold Ashurst Tillington does not
+marry----leave a blank there, Miss Cayley. I will find out the name of
+the young person I desire to exclude, and fill it in afterward. I don't
+recollect it at this moment, but Higginson, no doubt, will be able to
+supply the deficiency. In fact, I don't think I ever heard it; though
+Higginson has told me all about the woman.'
+
+'Higginson?' I inquired. 'Is he here?'
+
+'Oh, dear, yes. You heard of him, I suppose, from Georgina. Georgina is
+prejudiced. He has come back to me, I am glad to say. An excellent
+servant, Higginson, though a trifle too omniscient. All men are equal in
+the eyes of their Maker, of course; but we must have due subordination.
+A courier ought not to be better informed than his master--or ought at
+least to conceal the fact dexterously. Well, Higginson knows this young
+person's name; my sister wrote to me about her disgraceful conduct when
+she first went to Schlangenbad. An adventuress, it seems; an
+adventuress; quite a shocking creature. Foisted herself upon Lady
+Georgina in Kensington Gardens--unintroduced, if you can believe such a
+thing--with the most astonishing effrontery; and Georgina, who will
+forgive anything on earth, for the sake of what she calls
+originality--another name for impudence, as I am sure you must
+know--took the young woman with her as her maid to Germany. There, this
+minx tried to set her cap at my nephew Harold, who can be caught at once
+by a pretty face; and Harold was bowled over--almost got engaged to her.
+Georgina took a fancy to the girl later, having a taste for dubious
+people (I cannot say I approve of Georgina's friends), and wrote again
+to say her first suspicions were unfounded: the young woman was in
+reality a paragon of virtue. But _I_ know better than that. Georgina has
+no judgment. I regret to be obliged to confess it, but cleverness, I
+fear, is the only thing in the world my excellent sister cares for. The
+hussy, it seems, was certainly clever. Higginson has told me about her.
+He says her bare appearance would suffice to condemn her--a bold, fast,
+shameless, brazen-faced creature. But you will forgive me, I am sure, my
+dear young lady: I ought not to discuss such painted Jezebels before
+you. We will leave this person's name blank. I will not sully your
+pen--I mean, your typewriter--by asking you to transcribe it.'
+
+I made up my mind at once. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said, looking up from my
+keyboard, '_I_ can give you this girl's name; and then you can insert
+the proviso immediately.'
+
+'_You_ can? My dear young lady, what a wonderful person you are! You
+seem to know everybody, and everything. But perhaps she was at
+Schlangenbad with Lady Georgina, and you were there also?'
+
+'She was,' I answered, deliberately. 'The name you want is--Lois
+Cayley!'
+
+He let his notes drop in his astonishment.
+
+I went on with my typewriting, unmoved. 'Provided always that the said
+Harold Ashurst Tillington does not marry Lois Cayley; in which case I
+will and desire that the said estate shall pass to----whom shall I put
+in, Mr. Ashurst?'
+
+He leant forward with his fat hands on his ample knees. 'It was really
+_you_?' he inquired, open-mouthed.
+
+I nodded. 'There is no use in denying the truth. Mr. Tillington did ask
+me to be his wife, and I refused him.'
+
+'But, my dear Miss Cayley----'
+
+'The difference in station?' I said; 'the difference, still greater, in
+this world's goods? Yes, I know. I admit all that. So I declined his
+offer. I did not wish to ruin his prospects.'
+
+The Urbane Old Gentleman eyed me with a sudden tenderness in his glance.
+'Young men are lucky,' he said, slowly, after a short pause; '--and--
+Higginson is an idiot. I say it deliberately--an idiot! How could one
+dream of trusting the judgment of a flunkey about a lady? My dear,
+excuse the familiarity from one who may consider himself in a certain
+sense a contingent uncle--suppose we amend the last clause by the
+omission of the word _not_. It strikes me as superfluous. "Provided
+always the said Harold Ashurst Tillington consents to marry"-- I think
+that sounds better!'
+
+He looked at me with such fatherly regard that it pricked my heart ever
+to have poked fun at his Interpretation of Prophecy on Stock Exchange
+principles. I think I flushed crimson. 'No, no,' I answered, firmly.
+'That will not do either, please. That's worse than the other way. You
+must not put it, Mr. Ashurst. I could not consent to be willed away to
+anybody.'
+
+He leant forward, with real earnestness. 'My dear,' he said, 'that's not
+the point. Pardon my reminding you that you are here in your capacity as
+my amanuensis. I am drawing up my will, and if you will allow me to say
+so, I cannot admit that anyone has a claim to influence me in the
+disposition of my Property.'
+
+'_Please!_' I cried, pleadingly.
+
+He looked at me and paused. 'Well,' he went on at last, after a long
+interval; 'since _you_ insist upon it, I will leave the bequest to stand
+without condition.'
+
+'Thank you,' I murmured, bending low over my machine.'
+
+'If I did as I like, though,' he went on, 'I should say, Unless he
+marries Miss Lois Cayley (who is a deal too good for him) the estate
+shall revert to Kynaston's eldest son, a confounded jackass. I do not
+usually indulge in intemperate language; but I desire to assure you,
+with the utmost calmness, that Kynaston's eldest son, Lord Southminster,
+is a con-founded jackass.'
+
+I rose and took his hand in my own spontaneously. 'Mr. Ashurst,' I said,
+'you may interpret prophecy as long as ever you like, but you are a dear
+kind old gentleman. I am truly grateful to you for your good opinion.
+
+'And you will marry Harold?'
+
+'Never,' I answered; 'while he is rich. I have said as much to him.'
+
+'That's hard,' he went on, slowly. 'For ... I should like to be your
+uncle.'
+
+I trembled all over. Elsie saved the situation by bursting in abruptly.
+
+I will only add that when Mr. Ashurst left, I copied the will out
+neatly, without erasures. The rough original I threw (somewhat
+carelessly) into the waste-paper basket.
+
+That afternoon, somebody called to fetch the fair copy for Mr. Ashurst.
+I went out into the front office to see him. To my surprise, it was
+Higginson--in his guise as courier.
+
+[Illustration: WHAT, YOU HERE! HE CRIED.]
+
+He was as astonished as myself. 'What, _you_ here!' he cried. 'You dog
+me!'
+
+'I was thinking the same thing of you, M. le Comte,' I answered,
+curtsying.
+
+He made no attempt at an excuse. 'Well, I have been sent for the will,'
+he broke out, curtly.
+
+'And you were sent for the jewel-case,' I retorted. 'No, no, Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley; _I_ am in charge of the will, and I will take it
+myself to Mr. Ashurst.'
+
+'I will be even with you yet,' he snapped out. 'I have gone back to my
+old trade, and am trying to lead an honest life; but _you_ won't let
+me.'
+
+'On the contrary,' I answered, smiling a polite smile. 'I rejoice to
+hear it. If you say nothing more against me to your employer, I will not
+disclose to him what I know about you. But if you slander me, I will. So
+now we understand one another.'
+
+And I kept the will till I could give it myself into Mr Ashurst's own
+hands in his rooms that evening.
+
+
+
+
+VII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNOBTRUSIVE OASIS
+
+
+I will not attempt to describe to you the minor episodes of our next
+twelve months--the manuscripts we type-wrote and the Manitous we sold.
+'Tis one of my aims in a world so rich in bores to avoid being tedious.
+I will merely say, therefore, that we spent the greater part of the year
+in Florence, where we were building up a connection, but rode back for
+the summer months to Switzerland, as being a livelier place for the
+trade in bicycles. The net result was not only that we covered our
+expenses, but that, as chancellor of the exchequer, I found myself with
+a surplus in hand at the end of the season.
+
+When we returned to Florence for the winter, however, I confess I began
+to chafe. 'This is slow work, Elsie!' I said. 'I started out to go round
+the world; it has taken me eighteen months to travel no further than
+Italy! At this rate, I shall reach New York a gray-haired old lady, in a
+nice lace cap, and totter back into London a venerable crone on the
+verge of ninety.'
+
+However, those invaluable doctors came to my rescue unexpectedly. I do
+love doctors; they are always sending you off at a moment's notice to
+delightful places you never dreamt of. Elsie was better, but still far
+from strong. I took it upon me to consult our medical attendant; and
+his verdict was decisive. He did just what a doctor ought to do. 'She is
+getting on very well in Florence,' he said; 'but if you want to restore
+her health completely, I should advise you to take her for a winter to
+Egypt. After six months of the dry, warm desert air, I don't doubt she
+might return to her work in London.'
+
+That last point I used as a lever with Elsie. She positively revels in
+teaching mathematics. At first, to be sure, she objected that we had
+only just money enough to pay our way to Cairo, and that when we got
+there we might starve--her favourite programme. I have not this
+extraordinary taste for starving; _my_ idea is, to go where you like,
+and find something decent to eat when you get there. However, to humour
+her, I began to cast about me for a source of income. There is no
+absolute harm in seeing your way clear before you for a twelvemonth,
+though of course it deprives you of the plot-interest of poverty.
+
+'Elsie,' I said, in my best didactic style--I excel in didactics--'you
+do not learn from the lessons that life sets before you. Look at the
+stage, for example; the stage is universally acknowledged at the present
+day to be a great teacher of morals. Does not Irving say so?--and he
+ought to know. There is that splendid model for imitation, for instance,
+the Clown in the pantomime. How does Clown regulate his life? Does he
+take heed for the morrow? Not a bit of it! "I wish I had a goose," he
+says, at some critical juncture; and just as he says it--pat--a super
+strolls upon the stage with a property goose on a wooden tray; and Clown
+cries, "Oh, look here, Joey; _here's_ a goose!" and proceeds to
+appropriate it. Then he puts his fingers in his mouth and observes, "I
+wish I had a few apples to make the sauce with"; and as the words escape
+him--pat again--a small boy with a very squeaky voice runs on, carrying
+a basket of apples. Clown trips him up, and bolts with the basket.
+_There's_ a model for imitation! The stage sets these great moral
+lessons before you regularly every Christmas; yet you fail to profit by
+them. Govern your life on the principles exemplified by Clown; expect to
+find that whatever you want will turn up with punctuality and dispatch
+at the proper moment. Be adventurous and you will be happy. Take that as
+a new maxim to put in your copy-book!'
+
+'I wish I could think so, dear,' Elsie answered. 'But your confidence
+staggers me.'
+
+That evening at our _table-d'hote_, however, it was amply justified. A
+smooth-faced young man of ample girth and most prosperous exterior
+happened to sit next us. He had his wife with him, so I judged it safe
+to launch on conversation. We soon found out he was the millionaire
+editor-proprietor of a great London daily, with many more strings to his
+journalistic bow; his honoured name was Elworthy. I mentioned casually
+that we thought of going for the winter to Egypt. He pricked his ears
+up. But at the time he said nothing. After dinner, we adjourned to the
+cosy _salon_. I talked to him and his wife; and somehow, that evening,
+the devil entered into me. I am subject to devils. I hasten to add, they
+are mild ones. I had one of my reckless moods just then, however, and I
+reeled off rattling stories of our various adventures. Mr. Elworthy
+believed in youth and audacity; I could see I interested him. The more
+he was amused, the more reckless I became. 'That's bright,' he said at
+last, when I told him the tale of our amateur exploits in the sale of
+Manitous. 'That would make a good article!'
+
+'Yes,' I answered, with bravado, determined to strike while the iron
+was hot. 'What the _Daily Telephone_ lacks is just one enlivening touch
+of feminine brightness.'
+
+He smiled. 'What is your forte?' he inquired.
+
+'My forte,' I answered, 'is--to go where I choose, and write what I like
+about it.'
+
+He smiled again. 'And a very good new departure in journalism, too! A
+roving commission! Have you ever tried your hand at writing?'
+
+Had I ever tried! It was the ambition of my life to see myself in print;
+though, hitherto, it had been ineffectual. 'I have written a few
+sketches,' I answered, with becoming modesty. As a matter of fact, our
+office bulged with my unpublished manuscripts.
+
+'Could you let me see them?' he asked.
+
+I assented, with inner joy, but outer reluctance. 'If you wish it,' I
+murmured; 'but--you must be _very_ lenient!'
+
+[Illustration: HE READ THEM, CRUEL MAN, BEFORE MY VERY EYES.]
+
+Though I had not told Elsie, the truth of the matter was, I had just
+then conceived an idea for a novel--my _magnum opus_--the setting of
+which compelled Egyptian local colour; and I was therefore dying to get
+to Egypt, if chance so willed it. I submitted a few of my picked
+manuscripts accordingly to Mr. Elworthy, in fear and trembling. He read
+them, cruel man, before my very eyes; I sat and waited, twiddling my
+thumbs, demure but apprehensive.
+
+When he had finished, he laid them down.
+
+'Racy!' he said. 'Racy! You're quite right, Miss Cayley. That's just
+what we want on the _Daily Telephone_. I should like to print these
+three,' selecting them out, 'at our usual rate of pay per thousand.'
+
+'You are very kind.' But the room reeled with me.
+
+'Not at all. I am a man of business. And these are good copy. Now, about
+this Egypt. I will put the matter in the shape of a business
+proposition. Will you undertake, if I pay your passage, and your
+friend's, with all travelling expenses, to let me have three descriptive
+articles a week, on Cairo, the Nile, Syria, and India, running to about
+two thousand words apiece, at three guineas a thousand?'
+
+My breath came and went. It was positive opulence. The super with the
+goose couldn't approach it for patness. My editor had brought me the
+apple sauce as well, without even giving me the trouble of cooking it.
+
+The very next day everything was arranged. Elsie tried to protest, on
+the foolish ground that she had no money: but the faculty had ordered
+the apex of her right lung to go to Egypt, and I couldn't let her fly in
+the face of the faculty. We secured our berths in a P. and O. steamer
+from Brindisi; and within a week we were tossing upon the bosom of the
+blue Mediterranean.
+
+People who haven't crossed the blue Mediterranean cherish an absurd idea
+that it is always calm and warm and sunny. I am sorry to take away any
+sea's character; but I speak of it as I find it (to borrow a phrase from
+my old gyp at Girton); and I am bound to admit that the Mediterranean
+did not treat me as a lady expects to be treated. It behaved
+disgracefully. People may rhapsodize as long as they choose about a life
+on the ocean wave; for my own part, I wouldn't give a pin for
+sea-sickness. We glided down the Adriatic from Brindisi to Corfu with a
+reckless profusion of lateral motion which suggested the idea that the
+ship must have been drinking.
+
+I tried to rouse Elsie when we came abreast of the Ionian Islands, and
+to remind her that 'Here was the home of Nausicaa in the Odyssey.' Elsie
+failed to respond; she was otherwise occupied. At last, I succumbed and
+gave it up. I remember nothing further till a day and a half later, when
+we got under lee of Crete, and the ship showed a tendency to resume the
+perpendicular. Then I began once more to take a languid interest in the
+dinner question.
+
+I may add parenthetically that the Mediterranean is a mere bit of a sea,
+when you look at it on the map--a pocket sea, to be regarded with
+mingled contempt and affection; but you learn to respect it when you
+find that it takes four clear days and nights of abject misery merely to
+run across its eastern basin from Brindisi to Alexandria. I respected
+the Mediterranean immensely while we lay off the Peloponnesus in the
+trough of the waves with a north wind blowing; I only began to temper my
+respect with a distant liking when we passed under the welcome shelter
+of Crete on a calm, star-lit evening.
+
+It was deadly cold. We had not counted upon such weather in the sunny
+south. I recollected now that the Greeks were wont to represent Boreas
+as a chilly deity, and spoke of the Thracian breeze with the same
+deferentially deprecating adjectives which we ourselves apply to the
+east wind of our fatherland; but that apt classical memory somehow
+failed to console or warm me. A good-natured male passenger, however,
+volunteered to ask us, 'Will I get ye a rug, ladies?' The form of his
+courteous question suggested the probability of his Irish origin.
+
+'You are very kind,' I answered. 'If you don't want it for yourself, I'm
+sure my friend would be glad to have the use of it.'
+
+'Is it meself? Sure I've got me big ulsther, and I'm as warrum as a
+toast in it. But ye're not provided for this weather. Ye've thrusted too
+much to those rascals the po-uts. 'Where breaks the blue Sicilian say,'
+the rogues write. _I'd_ like to set them down in it, wid a nor'-easter
+blowing!'
+
+He fetched up his rug. It was ample and soft, a smooth brown camel-hair.
+He wrapped us both up in it. We sat late on deck that night, as warm as
+a toast ourselves, thanks to our genial Irishman.
+
+[Illustration: 'TIS DOCTOR MACLOGHLEN, HE ANSWERED.]
+
+We asked his name. ''Tis Dr. Macloghlen,' he answered. 'I'm from County
+Clare, ye see; and I'm on me way to Egypt for thravel and exploration.
+Me fader whisht me to see the worruld a bit before I'd settle down to
+practise me profession at Liscannor. Have ye ever been in County Clare?
+Sure, 'tis the pick of Oireland.'
+
+'We have that pleasure still in store,' I answered, smiling. 'It spreads
+gold-leaf over the future, as George Meredith puts it.'
+
+'Is it Meredith? Ah, there's the foine writer! 'Tis jaynius the man has:
+I can't undtherstand a word of him. But he's half Oirish, ye know. What
+proof have I got of it? An' would he write like that if there wasn't a
+dhrop of the blood of the Celt in him?'
+
+Next day and next night, Mr. Macloghlen was our devoted slave. I had won
+his heart by admitting frankly that his countrywomen had the finest and
+liveliest eyes in Europe--eyes with a deep twinkle, half fun, half
+passion. He took to us at once, and talked to us incessantly. He was a
+red-haired, raw-boned Munster-man, but a real good fellow. We forgot the
+aggressive inequalities of the Mediterranean while he talked to us of
+'the pizzantry.' Late the second evening he propounded a confidence. It
+was a lovely night; Orion overhead, and the plashing phosphorescence on
+the water below conspired with the hour to make him specially
+confidential. 'Now, Miss Cayley,' he said, leaning forward on his deck
+chair, and gazing earnestly into my eyes, 'there's wan question I'd like
+to ask ye. The ambition of me life is to get into Parlimint. And I want
+to know from ye, as a frind--if I accomplish me heart's wish--is there
+annything, in me apparence, ar in me voice, ar in me accent, ar in me
+manner, that would lade annybody to suppose I was an Oirishman?'
+
+I succeeded, by good luck, in avoiding Elsie's eye. What on earth could
+I answer? Then a happy thought struck me. 'Dr. Macloghlen,' I said, 'it
+would not be the slightest use your trying to conceal it; for even if
+nobody ever detected a faint Irish intonation in your words or
+phrases--how could your eloquence fail to betray you for a countryman of
+Sheridan and Burke and Grattan?'
+
+He seized my hand with such warmth that I thought it best to hurry down
+to my state-room at once, under cover of my compliment.
+
+At Alexandria and Cairo we found him invaluable. He looked after our
+luggage, which he gallantly rescued from the lean hands of fifteen Arab
+porters, all eagerly struggling to gain possession of our effects; he
+saw us safe into the train; and he never quitted us till he had safely
+ensconced us in our rooms at Shepheard's. For himself, he said, with
+subdued melancholy, 'twas to some cheaper hotel he must go; Shepheard's
+wasn't for the likes of him; though if land in County Clare was wort'
+what it ought to be, there wasn't a finer estate in all Oireland than
+his fader's.
+
+Our Mr. Elworthy was a modern proprietor, who knew how to do things on
+the lordly scale. Having commissioned me to write this series of
+articles, he intended them to be written in the first style of art, and
+he had instructed me accordingly to hire one of Cook's little steam
+dahabeeahs, where I could work at leisure. Dr. Macloghlen was in his
+element arranging for the trip. 'Sure the only thing I mind,' he said,
+'is--that I'll not be going wid ye.' I think he was half inclined to
+invite himself; but there again I drew a line. I will not sell salt
+fish; and I will not go up the Nile, unchaperoned, with a casual man
+acquaintance.
+
+He did the next best thing, however: he took a place in a sailing
+dahabeeah; and as we steamed up slowly, stopping often on the way, to
+give me time to write my articles, he managed to arrive almost always at
+every town or ruin exactly when we did.
+
+I will not describe the voyage. The Nile is the Nile. Just at first,
+before we got used to it, we conscientiously looked up the name of every
+village we passed on the bank in our Murray and our Baedeker. After a
+couple of days' Niling, however, we found that formality quite
+unnecessary. They were all the same village, under a number of aliases.
+They did not even take the trouble to disguise themselves anew, like Dr.
+Fortescue-Langley, on each fresh appearance. They had every one of them
+a small whitewashed mosque, with a couple of tall minarets; and around
+it spread a number of mud-built cottages, looking more like bee-hives
+than human habitations. They had also every one of them a group of
+date-palms, overhanging a cluster of mean bare houses; and they all
+alike had a picturesque and even imposing air from a distance, but faded
+away into indescribable squalor as one got abreast of them. Our progress
+was monotonous. At twelve, noon, we would pass Aboo-Teeg, with its
+mosque, its palms, its mud-huts, and its camels; then for a couple of
+hours we would go on through the midst of a green field on either side,
+studded by more mud-huts, and backed up by a range of gray desert
+mountains; only to come at 2 P.M., twenty miles higher up, upon
+Aboo-Teeg once more, with the same mosque, the same mud-huts, and the
+same haughty camels, placidly chewing the same aristocratic cud, but
+under the alias of Koos-kam. After a wild hubbub at the quay, we would
+leave Koos-kam behind, with its camels still serenely munching
+day-before-yesterday's dinner; and twenty miles further on, again,
+having passed through the same green plain, backed by the same gray
+mountains, we would stop once more at the identical Koos-kam, which this
+time absurdly described itself as Tahtah. But whether it was Aboo-Teeg
+or Koos-kam or Tahtah or anything else, only the name differed: it was
+always the same town, and had always the same camels at precisely the
+same stage of the digestive process. It seemed to us immaterial whether
+you saw all the Nile or only five miles of it. It was just like
+wall-paper. A sample sufficed; the whole was the sample infinitely
+repeated.
+
+However, I had my letters to write, and I wrote them valiantly. I
+described the various episodes of the complicated digestive process in
+the camel in the minutest detail. I gloated over the date-palms, which I
+knew in three days as if I had been brought up upon dates. I gave
+word-pictures of every individual child, veiled woman, Arab sheikh, and
+Coptic priest whom we encountered on the voyage. And I am open to
+reprint those conscientious studies of mud-huts and minarets with any
+enterprising publisher who will make me an offer.
+
+[Illustration: TOO MUCH NILE.]
+
+Another disillusion weighed upon my soul. Before I went up the Nile, I
+had a fancy of my own that the bank was studded with endless ruined
+temples, whose vast red colonnades were reflected in the water at every
+turn. I think Macaulay's Lays were primarily answerable for that
+particular misapprehension. As a matter of fact, it surprised me to find
+that we often went for two whole days' hard steaming without ever a
+temple breaking the monotony of those eternal date-palms, those calm and
+superciliously irresponsive camels. In my humble opinion, Egypt is a
+fraud; there is too much Nile--very dirty Nile at that--and not nearly
+enough temple. Besides, the temples, when you _do_ come up with them,
+are just like the villages; they are the same temple over again, under a
+different name each time, and they have the same gods, the same kings,
+the same wearisome bas-reliefs, except that the gentleman in a chariot,
+ten feet high, who is mowing down enemies a quarter his own size, with
+unsportsmanslike recklessness, is called Rameses in this place, and
+Sethi in that, and Amen-hotep in the other. With this trifling
+variation, when you have seen one temple, one obelisk, one hieroglyphic
+table, you have seen the whole of Ancient Egypt.
+
+At last, after many days' voyage through the same scenery daily--rising
+in the morning off a village with a mosque, ten palms, and two minarets,
+and retiring late at night off the same village once more, with mosque,
+palms, and minarets, as before, _da capo_--we arrived one evening at a
+place called Geergeh. In itself, I believe, Geergeh did not differ
+materially from all the other places we had passed on our voyage: it had
+its mosque, its ten palms, and its two minarets as usual. But I remember
+its name, because something mysterious went wrong there with our
+machinery; and the engineer informed us we must wait at least three days
+to mend it. Dr. Macloghlen's dahabeeah happened opportunely to arrive
+at the same spot on the same day; and he declared with fervour he would
+'see us through our throubles.' But what on earth were we to do with
+ourselves through three long days and nights at Geergeh? There were the
+ruins of Abydus close at hand, to be sure; though I defy anybody not a
+professed Egyptologist to give more than one day to the ruins of Abydus.
+In this emergency, Dr. Macloghlen came gallantly to our aid. He
+discovered by inquiring from an English-speaking guide that there was an
+unobtrusive oasis, never visited by Europeans, one long day's journey
+off, across the desert. As a rule, it takes at least three days to get
+camels and guides together for such an expedition: for Egypt is not a
+land to hurry in. But the indefatigable Doctor further unearthed the
+fact that a sheikh had just come in, who (for a consideration) would
+lend us camels for a two days' trip; and we seized the chance to do our
+duty by Mr. Elworthy and the world-wide circulation. An unvisited
+oasis--and two Christian ladies to be the first to explore it: there's
+journalistic enterprise for you! If we happened to be killed, so much
+the better for the _Daily Telephone_. I pictured the excitement at
+Piccadilly Circus. 'Extra Special, Our Own Correspondent brutally
+murdered!' I rejoiced at the opportunity.
+
+I cannot honestly say that Elsie rejoiced with me. She cherished a
+prejudice against camels, massacres, and the new journalism. She didn't
+like being murdered: though this was premature, for she had never tried
+it. She objected that the fanatical Mohammedans of the Senoosi sect, who
+were said to inhabit the oasis in question, might cut our throats for
+dogs of infidels. I pointed out to her at some length that it was just
+that chance which added zest to our expedition as a journalistic
+venture: fancy the glory of being the first lady journalists martyred in
+the cause! But she failed to grasp this aspect of the question.
+However, if I went, she would go too, she said, like a dear girl that
+she is: she would not desert me when I was getting my throat cut.
+
+[Illustration: EMPHASIS.]
+
+Dr. Macloghlen made the bargain for us, and insisted on accompanying us
+across the desert. He told us his method of negotiation with the Arabs
+with extreme gusto. '"Is it pay in advance ye want?" says I to the dirty
+beggars: "divvil a penny will ye get till ye bring these ladies safe
+back to Geergeh. And remimber, Mr. Sheikh," says I, fingering me pistol,
+so, by way of emphasis, "we take no money wid us; so if yer friends at
+Wadi Bou choose to cut our throats, 'tis for the pleasure of it they'll
+be cutting them, not for anything they'll gain by it." "Provisions,
+effendi?" says he, salaaming. "Provisions, is it?" says I. "Take
+everything ye'll want wid you; I suppose ye can buy food fit for a
+Crischun in the bazaar in Geergeh; and never wan penny do ye touch for
+it all till ye've landed us on the bank again, as safe as ye took us. So
+if the religious sintiments of the faithful at Wadi Bou should lade them
+to hack us to pieces," says I, just waving me revolver, "thin 'tis
+yerself that will be out of pocket by it." And the ould divvil cringed
+as if he took me for the Prince of Wales. Faix, 'tis the purse that's
+the best argumint to catch these haythen Arabs upon.'
+
+When we set out for the desert in the early dawn next day, it looked as
+if we were starting for a few months' voyage. We had a company of camels
+that might have befitted a caravan. We had two large tents, one for
+ourselves, and one for Dr. Macloghlen, with a third to dine in. We had
+bedding, and cushions, and drinking water tied up in swollen pig-skins,
+which were really goat-skins, looking far from tempting. We had bread
+and meat, and a supply of presents to soften the hearts and weaken the
+religious scruples of the sheikhs at Wadi Bou. 'We thravel _en prince_,'
+said the Doctor. When all was ready we got under way solemnly, our
+camels rising and sniffing the breeze with a superior air, as who should
+say, 'I happen to be going where you happen to be going; but don't for a
+moment suppose I do it to please you. It is mere coincidence. You are
+bound for Wadi Bou: I have business of my own which chances to take me
+there.'
+
+[Illustration: RIDING A CAMEL DOES NOT GREATLY DIFFER PROM
+SEA-SICKNESS.]
+
+Over the incidents of the journey I draw a veil. Riding a camel, I find,
+does not greatly differ from sea-sickness. They are the same phenomenon
+under altered circumstances. We had been assured beforehand on
+excellent authority that 'much of the comfort on a desert journey
+depends upon having a good camel.' On this matter, I am no authority. I
+do not set up as a judge of camel-flesh. But I did not notice _any_ of
+the comfort; so I venture to believe my camel must have been an
+exceptionally bad one.
+
+We expected trouble from the fanatical natives; I am bound to admit, we
+had most trouble with Elsie. She was not insubordinate, but she did not
+care for camel-riding. And her beast took advantage of her youth and
+innocence. A well-behaved camel should go almost as fast as a child can
+walk, and should not sit down plump on the burning sand without due
+reason. Elsie's brute crawled, and called halts for prayer at frequent
+intervals; it tried to kneel like a good Mussulman many times a day; and
+it showed an intolerant disposition to crush the infidel by rolling over
+on top of Elsie. Dr. Macloghlen admonished it with Irish eloquence, not
+always in language intended for publication; but it only turned up its
+supercilious lip and inquired in its own unspoken tongue what _he_ knew
+about the desert.
+
+'I feel like a wurrum before the baste,' the Doctor said, nonplussed.
+
+If the Nile was monotonous, the road to Wadi Bou was nothing short of
+dreary. We crossed a great ridge of bare, gray rock, and followed a
+rolling valley of sand, scored by dry ravines, and baking in the sun. It
+was ghastly to look upon. All day long, save at the midday rest by some
+brackish wells, we rode on and on, the brutes stepping forward with
+slow, outstretched legs; though sometimes we walked by the camels' sides
+to vary the monotony; but ever through that dreary upland plain, sand in
+the centre, rocky mountain at the edge, and not a thing to look at. We
+were relieved towards evening to stumble against stunted tamarisks,
+half buried in sand, and to feel we were approaching the edge of the
+oasis.
+
+When at last our arrogant beasts condescended to stop, in their
+patronising way, we saw by the dim light of the moon a sort of uneven
+basin or hollow, studded with date-palms, and in the midst of the
+depression a crumbling walled town, with a whitewashed mosque, two
+minarets by its side, and a crowd of mud-houses. It was strangely
+familiar. We had come all this way just to see Aboo-Teeg or Koos-kam
+over again!
+
+We camped outside the fortified town that night. Next morning we essayed
+to make our entry.
+
+At first, the servants of the Prophet on watch at the gate raised
+serious objections. No infidel might enter. But we had a pass from
+Cairo, exhorting the faithful in the name of the Khedive to give us food
+and shelter; and after much examination and many loud discussions, the
+gatemen passed us. We entered the town, and stood alone, three Christian
+Europeans, in the midst of three thousand fanatical Mohammedans.
+
+I confess it was weird. Elsie shrank by my side. 'Suppose they were to
+attack us, Brownie?'
+
+'Thin the sheikh here would never get paid,' Dr. Macloghlen put in with
+true Irish recklessness. 'Faix, he'll whistle for his money on the
+whistle I gave him.' That touch of humour saved us. We laughed; and the
+people about saw we could laugh. They left off scowling, and pressed
+around trying to sell us pottery and native brooches. In the intervals
+of fanaticism, the Arab has an eye to business.
+
+We passed up the chief street of the bazaar. The inhabitants told us in
+pantomime the chief of the town was away at Asioot, whither he had gone
+two days ago on business. If he were here, our interpreter gave us to
+understand, things might have been different; for the chief had
+determined that, whatever came, no infidel dog should settle in _his_
+oasis.
+
+[Illustration: HER AGITATION WAS EVIDENT.]
+
+The women with their veiled faces attracted us strangely. They were
+wilder than on the river. They ran when one looked at them. Suddenly,
+as we passed one, we saw her give a little start. She was veiled like
+the rest, but her agitation was evident even through her thick covering.
+
+'She is afraid of Christians,' Elsie cried, nestling towards me.
+
+The woman passed close to us. She never looked in our direction, but in
+a very low voice she murmured, as she passed, 'Then you are English!'
+
+I had presence of mind enough to conceal my surprise at this unexpected
+utterance. 'Don't seem to notice her, Elsie,' I said, looking away.
+'Yes, we are English.'
+
+She stopped and pretended to examine some jewellery on a stall. 'So am
+I,' she went on, in the same suppressed low voice. 'For Heaven's sake,
+help me!'
+
+'What are you doing here?'
+
+'I live here--married. I was with Gordon's force at Khartoum. They
+carried me off. A mere girl then. Now I am thirty.'
+
+'And you have been here ever since?'
+
+She turned away and walked off, but kept whispering behind her veil. We
+followed, unobtrusively. 'Yes; I was sold to a man at Dongola. He passed
+me on again to the chief of this oasis. I don't know where it is; but I
+have been here ever since. I hate this life. Is there any chance of a
+rescue?'
+
+'Anny chance of a rescue, is it?' the Doctor broke in, a trifle too
+ostensibly. 'If it costs us a whole British Army, me dear lady, we'll
+fetch you away and save you.'
+
+'But now--to-day? You won't go away and leave me? You are the first
+Europeans I have seen since Khartoum fell. They may sell me again. You
+will not desert me?'
+
+'No,' I said. 'We will not.' Then I reflected a moment.
+
+What on earth could we do? This was a painful dilemma. If we once lost
+sight of her, we might not see her again. Yet if we walked with her
+openly, and talked like friends, we would betray ourselves, and her, to
+those fanatical Senoosis.
+
+I made my mind up promptly. I may not have much of a mind; but, such as
+it is, I flatter myself I can make it up at a moment's notice.
+
+'Can you come to us outside the gate at sunset?' I asked, as if speaking
+to Elsie.
+
+The woman hesitated. 'I think so.'
+
+'Then keep us in sight all day, and when evening comes, stroll out
+behind us.'
+
+She turned over some embroidered slippers on a booth, and seemed to be
+inspecting them. 'But my children?' she murmured anxiously.
+
+The Doctor interposed. 'Is it childern she has?' he asked. 'Thin they'll
+be the Mohammedan gintleman's. We mustn't interfere wid _them_. We can
+take away the lady--she's English, and detained against her will: but we
+can't deprive anny man of his own childern'.
+
+I was firm, and categorical. 'Yes, we can,' I said, stoutly; 'if he has
+forced a woman to bear them to him whether she would or not. That's
+common justice. I have no respect for the Mohammedan gentleman's rights.
+Let her bring them with her. How many are there?'
+
+'Two--a boy and girl; not very old; the eldest is seven.' She spoke
+wistfully. A mother is a mother.
+
+'Then say no more now, but keep us always in sight, and we will keep
+_you_. Come to us at the gate about sundown. We will carry you off with
+us.'
+
+She clasped her hands and moved off with the peculiar gliding air of the
+veiled Mohammedan woman. Our eyes followed her. We walked on through
+the bazaar, thinking of nothing else now. It was strange how this
+episode made us forget our selfish fears for our own safety. Even dear
+timid Elsie remembered only that an Englishwoman's life and liberty were
+at stake. We kept her more or less in view all day. She glided in and
+out among the people in the alleys. When we went back to the camels at
+lunch-time, she followed us unobtrusively through the open gate, and sat
+watching us from a little way off, among a crowd of gazers; for all Wadi
+Bou was of course agog at this unwonted invasion.
+
+We discussed the circumstance loudly, so that she might hear our plans.
+Dr. Macloghlen advised that we should tell our sheikh we meant to return
+part of the way to Geergeh that evening by moonlight. I quite agreed
+with him. It was the only way out. Besides, I didn't like the looks of
+the people. They eyed us askance. This was getting exciting now. I felt
+a professional journalistic interest. Whether we escaped or got killed,
+what splendid business for the _Daily Telephone_!
+
+The sheikh, of course, declared it was impossible to start that evening.
+The men wouldn't move--the camels needed rest. But Dr. Macloghlen was
+inexorable. 'Very well, thin, Mr. Sheikh,' he answered, philosophically.
+'Ye'll plaze yerself about whether ye come on wid us or whether ye
+shtop. That's yer own business. But _we_ set out at sundown; and whin ye
+return by yerself on foot to Geergeh, ye can ask for yer camels at the
+British Consulate.'
+
+All through that anxious afternoon we sat in our tents, under the shade
+of the mud-wall, wondering whether we could carry out our plan or not.
+About an hour before sunset the veiled woman strolled out of the gate
+with her two children. She joined the crowd of sight-seers once more,
+for never through the day were we left alone for a second. The
+excitement grew intense. Elsie and I moved up carelessly towards the
+group, talking as if to one another. I looked hard at Elsie: then I
+said, as though I were speaking about one of the children, 'Go straight
+along the road to Geergeh till you are past the big clump of palms at
+the edge of the oasis. Just beyond it comes a sharp ridge of rock. Wait
+behind the ridge where no one can see you. When we get there,' I patted
+the little girl's head, 'don't say a word, but jump on my camel. My two
+friends will each take one of the children. If you understand and
+consent, stroke your boy's curls. We will accept that for a signal.'
+
+She stroked the child's head at once without the least hesitation. Even
+through her veil and behind her dress, I could somehow feel and see her
+trembling nerves, her beating heart. But she gave no overt token. She
+merely turned and muttered something carelessly in Arabic to a woman
+beside her.
+
+We waited once more, in long-drawn suspense. Would she manage to escape
+them? Would they suspect her motives?
+
+After ten minutes, when we had returned to our crouching-place under the
+shadow of the wall, the woman detached herself slowly from the group,
+and began strolling with almost overdone nonchalance along the road to
+Geergeh. We could see the little girl was frightened and seemed to
+expostulate with her mother: fortunately, the Arabs about were too much
+occupied in watching the suspicious strangers to notice this episode of
+their own people. Presently, our new friend disappeared; and, with
+beating hearts, we awaited the sunset.
+
+[Illustration: CROUCHING BY THE ROCKS SAT OUR MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.]
+
+Then came the usual scene of hubbub with the sheikh, the camels, the
+porters, and the drivers. It was eagerness against apathy. With
+difficulty we made them understand we meant to get under way at all
+hazards. I stormed in bad Arabic. The Doctor inveighed in very choice
+Irish. At last they yielded, and set out. One by one the camels rose,
+bent their slow knees, and began to stalk in their lordly way with
+outstretched necks along the road to the river. We moved through the
+palm groves, a crowd of boys following us and shouting for backsheesh.
+We began to be afraid they would accompany us too far and discover our
+fugitive; but fortunately they all turned back with one accord at a
+little whitewashed shrine near the edge of the oasis. We reached the
+clump of palms; we turned the corner of the ridge. Had we missed one
+another? No! There, crouching by the rocks, with her children by her
+side, sat our mysterious stranger.
+
+The Doctor was equal to the emergency. 'Make those bastes kneel!' he
+cried authoritatively to the sheikh.
+
+The sheikh was taken aback. This was a new exploit burst upon him. He
+flung his arms up, gesticulating wildly. The Doctor, unmoved, made the
+drivers understand by some strange pantomime what he wanted. They
+nodded, half terrified. In a second, the stranger was by my side, Elsie
+had taken the girl, the Doctor the boy, and the camels were passively
+beginning to rise again. That is the best of your camel. Once set him on
+his road, and he goes mechanically.
+
+The sheikh broke out with several loud remarks in Arabic, which we did
+not understand, but whose hostile character could not easily escape us.
+He was beside himself with anger. Then I was suddenly aware of the
+splendid advantage of having an Irishman on our side. Dr. Macloghlen
+drew his revolver, like one well used to such episodes, and pointed it
+full at the angry Arab. 'Look here, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, calmly, yet
+with a fine touch of bravado; 'do ye see this revolver? Well, unless ye
+make yer camels thravel sthraight to Geergeh widout wan other wurrud,
+'tis yer own brains will be spattered, sor, on the sand of this desert!
+And if ye touch wan hair of our heads, ye'll answer for it wid yer life
+to the British Government.'
+
+I do not feel sure that the sheikh comprehended the exact nature of each
+word in this comprehensive threat, but I am certain he took in its
+general meaning, punctuated as it was with some flourishes of the
+revolver. He turned to the drivers and made a gesture of despair. It
+meant, apparently, that this infidel was too much for him. Then he
+called out a few sharp directions in Arabic. Next minute, our camels'
+legs were stepping out briskly along the road to Geergeh with a
+promptitude which I'm sure must have astonished their owners. We rode on
+and on through the gloom in a fever of suspense. Had any of the Senoosis
+noticed our presence? Would they miss the chief's wife before long, and
+follow us under arms? Would our own sheikh betray us? I am no coward, as
+women go, but I confess, if it had not been for our fiery Irishman, I
+should have felt my heart sink. We were grateful to him for the reckless
+and good-humoured courage of the untamed Celt. It kept us from giving
+way. 'Ye'll take notice, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, as we threaded our way
+among the moon-lit rocks, 'that I have twinty-wan cartridges in me case
+for me revolver; and that if there's throuble to-night, 'tis twinty of
+them there'll be for your frinds the Senoosis, and wan for yerself; but
+for fear of disappointing a gintleman, 'tis yer own special bullet I'll
+disthribute first, if it comes to fighting.'
+
+The sheikh's English was a vanishing quantity, but to judge by the way
+he nodded and salaamed at this playful remark, I am convinced he
+understood the Doctor's Irish quite as well as I did.
+
+We spoke little by the way; we were all far too frightened, except the
+Doctor, who kept our hearts up by a running fire of wild Celtic humour.
+But I found time meanwhile to learn by a few questions from our veiled
+friend something of her captivity. She had seen her father massacred
+before her eyes at Khartoum, and had then been sold away to a merchant,
+who conveyed her by degrees and by various exchanges across the desert
+through lonely spots to the Senoosi oasis. There she had lived all those
+years with the chief to whom her last purchaser had trafficked her. She
+did not even know that her husband's village was an integral part of the
+Khedive's territory; far less that the English were now in practical
+occupation of Egypt. She had heard nothing and learnt nothing since that
+fateful day; she had waited in vain for the off-chance of a deliverer.
+
+'But did you never try to run away to the Nile?' I cried, astonished.
+
+'Run away? How could I? I did not even know which way the river lay; and
+was it possible for me to cross the desert on foot, or find the chance
+of a camel? The Senoosis would have killed me. Even with you to help me,
+see what dangers surround me; alone, I should have perished, like Hagar
+in the wilderness, with no angel to save me.'
+
+'An' ye've got the angel now,' Dr. Macloghlen exclaimed, glancing at me.
+'Steady, there, Mr. Sheikh. What's this that's coming?'
+
+It was another caravan, going the opposite way, on its road to the
+oasis! A voice halloaed from it.
+
+Our new friend clung tight to me. 'My husband!' she whispered, gasping.
+
+They were still far off on the desert, and the moon shone bright. A few
+hurried words to the Doctor, and with a wild resolve we faced the
+emergency. He made the camels halt, and all of us, springing off,
+crouched down behind their shadows in such a way that the coming caravan
+must pass on the far side of us. At the same moment the Doctor turned
+resolutely to the sheikh. 'Look here, Mr. Arab,' he said in a quiet
+voice, with one more appeal to the simple Volapuk of the pointed
+revolver; 'I cover ye wid this. Let these frinds of yours go by. If
+there's anny unnecessary talking betwixt ye, or anny throuble of anny
+kind, remimber, the first bullet goes sthraight as an arrow t'rough that
+haythen head of yours!'
+
+The sheikh salaamed more submissively than ever.
+
+The caravan drew abreast of us. We could hear them cry aloud on either
+side the customary salutes: 'In Allah's name, peace!' answered by 'Allah
+is great; there is no god but Allah.'
+
+Would anything more happen? Would our sheikh play us false? It was a
+moment of breathlessness. We crouched and cowered in the shade, holding
+our hearts with fear, while the Arab drivers pretended to be unsaddling
+the camels. A minute or two of anxious suspense; then, peering over our
+beasts' backs, we saw their long line filing off towards the oasis. We
+watched their turbaned heads, silhouetted against the sky, disappear
+slowly. One by one they faded away. The danger was past. With beating
+hearts we rose up again.
+
+The Doctor sprang into his place and seated himself on his camel. 'Now
+ride on, Mr. Sheikh,' he said, 'wid all yer men, as if grim death was
+afther ye. Camels or no camels, ye've got to march all night, for ye'll
+never draw rein till we're safe back at Geergeh!'
+
+And sure enough we never halted, under the persuasive influence of that
+loaded revolver, till we dismounted once more in the early dawn upon the
+Nile bank, under British protection.
+
+Then Elsie and I and our rescued country-woman broke down together in an
+orgy of relief. We hugged one another and cried like so many children.
+
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE PEA-GREEN PATRICIAN
+
+
+Away to India! A life on the ocean wave once more; and--may it prove
+less wavy!
+
+In plain prose, my arrangement with 'my proprietor,' Mr. Elworthy (thus
+we speak in the newspaper trade), included a trip to Bombay for myself
+and Elsie. So, as soon as we had drained Upper Egypt journalistically
+dry, we returned to Cairo on our road to Suez. I am glad to say, my
+letters to the _Daily Telephone_ gave satisfaction. My employer wrote,
+'You are a born journalist.' I confess this surprised me; for I have
+always considered myself a truthful person. Still, as he evidently meant
+it for praise, I took the doubtful compliment in good part, and offered
+no remonstrance.
+
+I have a mercurial temperament. My spirits rise and fall as if they were
+Consols. Monotonous Egypt depressed me, as it depressed the Israelites;
+but the passage of the Red Sea set me sounding my timbrel. I love fresh
+air; I love the sea, if the sea will but behave itself; and I positively
+revelled in the change from Egypt.
+
+Unfortunately, we had taken our passages by a P. and O. steamer from
+Suez to Bombay many weeks beforehand, so as to secure good berths; and
+still more unfortunately, in a letter to Lady Georgina, I had chanced
+to mention the name of our ship and the date of the voyage. I kept up a
+spasmodic correspondence with Lady Georgina nowadays--tuppence-ha'penny
+a fortnight; the dear, cantankerous, racy old lady had been the
+foundation of my fortunes, and I was genuinely grateful to her; or,
+rather, I ought to say, she had been their second foundress, for I will
+do myself the justice to admit that the first was my own initiative and
+enterprise. I flatter myself I have the knack of taking the tide on the
+turn, and I am justly proud of it. But, being a grateful animal, I wrote
+once a fortnight to report progress to Lady Georgina. Besides--let me
+whisper--strictly between ourselves--'twas an indirect way of hearing
+about Harold.
+
+This time, however, as events turned out, I recognised that I had made a
+grave mistake in confiding my movements to my shrewd old lady. She did
+not betray me on purpose, of course; but I gathered later that casually
+in conversation she must have mentioned the fact and date of my sailing
+before somebody who ought to have had no concern in it; and the
+somebody, I found, had governed himself accordingly. All this, however,
+I only discovered afterwards. So, without anticipating, I will narrate
+the facts exactly as they occurred to me.
+
+[Illustration: AN ODD-LOOKING YOUNG MAN.]
+
+When we mounted the gangway of the _Jumna_ at Suez, and began the
+process of frizzling down the Red Sea, I noted on deck almost at once an
+odd-looking young man of twenty-two or thereabouts, with a curious faint
+pea-green complexion. He was the wishy-washiest young man I ever beheld
+in my life; an achromatic study: in spite of the delicate pea-greeniness
+of his skin, all the colouring matter of the body seemed somehow to have
+faded out of him. Perhaps he had been bleached. As he leant over the
+taffrail, gazing down with open mouth and vacant stare at the water, I
+took a good long look at him. He interested me much--because he was so
+exceptionally uninteresting; a pallid, anaemic, indefinite hobbledehoy,
+with a high, narrow forehead, and sketchy features. He had watery,
+restless eyes of an insipid light blue; thin, yellow hair, almost white
+in its paleness; and twitching hands that played nervously all the time
+with a shadowy moustache. This shadowy moustache seemed to absorb as a
+rule the best part of his attention; it was so sparse and so blanched
+that he felt it continually--to assure himself, no doubt, of the reality
+of its existence. I need hardly add that he wore an eye-glass.
+
+He was an aristocrat, I felt sure; Eton and Christ Church: no ordinary
+person could have been quite so flavourless. Imbecility like his is only
+to be attained as the result of long and judicious selection.
+
+He went on gazing in a vacant way at the water below, an ineffectual
+patrician smile playing feebly round the corners of his mouth meanwhile.
+Then he turned and stared at me as I lay back in my deck-chair. For a
+minute he looked me over as if I were a horse for sale. When he had
+finished inspecting me, he beckoned to somebody at the far end of the
+quarter-deck.
+
+The somebody sidled up with a deferential air which confirmed my belief
+in the pea-green young man's aristocratic origin. It was such deference
+as the British flunkey pays only to blue blood; for he has gradations of
+flunkeydom. He is respectful to wealth; polite to acquired rank; but
+servile only to hereditary nobility. Indeed, you can make a rough guess
+at the social status of the person he addresses by observing which one
+of his twenty-seven nicely graduated manners he adopts in addressing
+him.
+
+The pea-green young man glanced over in my direction, and murmured
+something to the satellite, whose back was turned towards me. I felt
+sure, from his attitude, he was asking whether I was the person he
+suspected me to be. The satellite nodded assent, whereat the pea-green
+young man, screwing up his face to fix his eye-glass, stared harder than
+ever. He must be heir to a peerage, I felt convinced; nobody short of
+that rank would consider himself entitled to stare with such frank
+unconcern at an unknown lady.
+
+Presently it further occurred to me that the satellite's back seemed
+strangely familiar. 'I have seen that man somewhere, Elsie,' I
+whispered, putting aside the wisps of hair that blew about my face.
+
+'So have I, dear,' Elsie answered, with a slight shudder. And I was
+instinctively aware that I too disliked him.
+
+As Elsie spoke, the man turned, and strolled slowly past us, with that
+ineffable insolence which is the other side of the flunkey's
+insufferable self-abasement. He cast a glance at us as he went by, a
+withering glance of brazen effrontery. We knew him now, of course: it
+was that variable star, our old acquaintance, Mr. Higginson the courier.
+
+He was here as himself this time; no longer the count or the mysterious
+faith-healer. The diplomat hid his rays under the garb of the
+man-servant.
+
+'Depend upon it, Elsie,' I cried, clutching her arm with a vague sense
+of fear, 'this man means mischief. There is danger ahead. When a
+creature of Higginson's sort, who has risen to be a count and a
+fashionable physician, descends again to be a courier, you may rest
+assured it is because he has something to gain by it. He has some deep
+scheme afloat. And _we_ are part of it.'
+
+'His master looks weak enough and silly enough for anything,' Elsie
+answered, eyeing the suspected lordling. 'I should think he is just the
+sort of man such a wily rogue would naturally fasten upon.'
+
+'When a wily rogue gets hold of a weak fool, who is also dishonest,' I
+said, 'the two together may make a formidable combination. But never
+mind. We're forewarned. I think I shall be even with him.'
+
+That evening, at dinner in the saloon, the pea-green young man strolled
+in with a jaunty air and took his seat next to us. The Red Sea, by the
+way, was kinder than the Mediterranean: it allowed us to dine from the
+very first evening. Cards had been laid on the plates to mark our
+places. I glanced at my neighbour's. It bore the inscription, 'Viscount
+Southminster.'
+
+That was the name of Lord Kynaston's eldest son--Lady Georgina's nephew;
+Harold Tillington's cousin! So _this_ was the man who might possibly
+inherit Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money! I remembered now how often and
+how fervently Lady Georgina had said, 'Kynaston's sons are all fools.'
+If the rest came up to sample, I was inclined to agree with her.
+
+It also flashed across me that Lord Southminster might have heard
+through Higginson of our meeting with Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst at Florence,
+and of my acquaintance with Harold Tillington at Schlangenbad and
+Lungern. With a woman's instinct, I jumped at the fact that the
+pea-green young man had taken passage by this boat, on purpose to baffle
+both me and Harold.
+
+Thinking it over, it seemed to me, too, that he might have various
+possible points of view on the matter. He might desire, for example,
+that Harold should marry me, under the impression that his marriage with
+a penniless outsider would annoy his uncle; for the pea-green young man
+doubtless thought that I was still to Mr. Ashurst just that dreadful
+adventuress. If so, his obvious cue would be to promote a good
+understanding between Harold and myself, in order to make us marry, so
+that the urbane old gentlemen might then disinherit his favourite
+nephew, and make a new will in Lord Southminster's interest. Or again,
+the pea-green young man might, on the contrary, be aware that Mr.
+Ashurst and I had got on admirably together when we met at Florence; in
+which case his aim would naturally be to find out something that might
+set the rich uncle against me. Yet once more, he might merely have heard
+that I had drawn up Uncle Marmaduke's will at the office, and he might
+desire to worm the contents of it out of me. Whichever was his design, I
+resolved to be upon my guard in every word I said to him, and leave no
+door open to any trickery either way. For of one thing I felt sure, that
+the colourless young man had torn himself away from the mud-honey of
+Piccadilly for this voyage to India only because he had heard there was
+a chance of meeting me.
+
+That was a politic move, whoever planned it--himself or Higginson; for a
+week on board ship with a person or persons is the very best chance of
+getting thrown in with them; whether they like it or lump it, they can't
+easily avoid you.
+
+It was while I was pondering these things in my mind, and resolving with
+myself not to give myself away, that the young man with the pea-green
+face lounged in and dropped into the next seat to me. He was dressed
+(amongst other things) in a dinner jacket and a white tie; for myself, I
+detest such fopperies on board ship; they seem to me out of place; they
+conflict with the infinite possibilities of the situation. One stands
+too near the realities of things. Evening dress and _mal-de-mer_ sort
+ill together.
+
+[Illustration: HE TURNED TO ME WITH AN INANE SMILE.]
+
+As my neighbour sat down, he turned to me with an inane smile which
+occupied all his face. 'Good evening,' he said, in a baronial drawl.
+'Miss Cayley, I gathah? I asked the skippah's leave to set next yah. We
+ought to be friends--rathah. I think yah know my poor deah old aunt,
+Lady Georgina Fawley.'
+
+I bowed a somewhat, freezing bow. 'Lady Georgina is one of my dearest
+friends,' I answered.
+
+'No, really? Poor deah old Georgey! Got somebody to stick up for her at
+last, has she? Now that's what I call chivalrous of yah. Magnanimous,
+isn't it? I like to see people stick up for their friends. And it must
+be a novelty for Georgey. For between you and me, a moah cantankerous
+spiteful acidulated old cough-drop than the poor deah soul it 'ud be
+difficult to hit upon.'
+
+'Lady Georgina has brains,' I answered; 'and they enable her to
+recognise a fool when she sees him. I will admit that she does not
+suffer fools gladly.'
+
+He turned to me with a sudden sharp look in the depths of the
+lack-lustre eyes. Already it began to strike me that, though the
+pea-green young man was inane, he had his due proportion of a certain
+insidious practical cunning. 'That's true,' he answered, measuring me.
+'And according to her, almost everybody's a fool--especially her
+relations. There's a fine knack of sweeping generalisation about deah
+skinny old Georgey. The few people she reahlly likes are all archangels;
+the rest are blithering idiots; there's no middle course with her.'
+
+I held my peace frigidly.
+
+'She thinks me a very special and peculiah fool,' he went on, crumbling
+his bread.
+
+'Lady Georgina,' I answered, 'is a person of exceptional discrimination.
+I would almost always accept her judgment on anyone as practically
+final.'
+
+He laid down his soup-spoon, fondled the imperceptible moustache with
+his tapering fingers, and then broke once more into a cheerful expanse
+of smile which reminded me of nothing so much as of the village idiot.
+It spread over his face as the splash from a stone spreads over a
+mill-pond. 'Now that's a nice cheerful sort of thing to say to a
+fellah,' he ejaculated, fixing his eye-glass in his eye, with a few
+fierce contortions of his facial muscles. 'That's encouraging, don't yah
+know, as the foundation of an acquaintance. Makes a good cornah-stone.
+Calculated to place things at once upon what yah call a friendly basis.
+Georgey said you had a pretty wit; I see now why she admiahed it. Birds
+of a feathah: very wise old proverb.'
+
+I reflected that, after all, this young man had nothing overt against
+him, beyond a fishy blue eye and an inane expression; so, feeling that I
+had perhaps gone a little too far, I continued after a minute, 'And your
+uncle, how is he?'
+
+'Marmy?' he inquired, with another elephantine smile; and then I
+perceived it was a form of humour with him (or rather, a cheap
+substitute) to speak of his elder relations by their abbreviated
+Christian names, without any prefix. 'Marmy's doing very well, thank
+yah; as well as could be expected. In fact, bettah. Habakkuk on the
+brain: it's carrying him off at last. He has Bright's disease very
+bad--drank port, don't yah know--and won't trouble this wicked world
+much longah with his presence. It will be a happy release--especially
+for his nephews.'
+
+I was really grieved, for I had grown to like the urbane old gentleman,
+as I had grown to like the cantankerous old lady. In spite of his
+fussiness and his Stock Exchange views on the interpretation of
+Scripture, his genuine kindliness and his real liking for me had
+softened my heart to him; and my face must have shown my distress, for
+the pea-green young man added quickly with an afterthought: 'But _you_
+needn't be afraid, yah know. It's all right for Harold Tillington. You
+ought to know that as well as anyone--and bettah: for it was you who
+drew up his will for him at Florence.'
+
+I flushed crimson, I believe. Then he knew all about me! 'I was not
+asking on Mr. Tillington's account,' I answered. 'I asked because I have
+a personal feeling of friendship for your uncle, Mr. Ashurst.'
+
+His hand strayed up to the straggling yellow hairs on his upper lip once
+more, and he smiled again, this time with a curious undercurrent of
+foolish craftiness. 'That's a good one,' he answered. 'Georgey told me
+you were original. Marmy's a millionaire, and many people love
+millionaires for their money. But to love Marmy for himself-- I do call
+that originality! Why, weight for age, he's acknowledged to be the most
+portentous old boah in London society!'
+
+'I like Mr. Ashurst because he has a kind heart and some genuine
+instincts,' I answered. 'He has not allowed all human feeling to be
+replaced by a cheap mask of Pall Mall cynicism.'
+
+'Oh, I say; how's that for preaching? Don't you manage to give it hot to
+a fellah, neithah! And at sight, too, without the usual three days of
+grace. Have some of my champagne? I'm a forgiving creachah.'
+
+'No, thank you. I prefer this hock.'
+
+'Your friend, then?' And he motioned the steward to pass the bottle.
+
+To my great disgust, Elsie held out her glass. I was annoyed at that. It
+showed she had missed the drift of our conversation, and was therefore
+lacking in feminine intuition. I should be sorry if I had allowed the
+higher mathematics to kill out in me the most distinctively womanly
+faculty.
+
+From that first day forth, however, in spite of this beginning, Lord
+Southminster almost persecuted me with his persistent attentions. He
+did all a fellah could possibly do to please me. I could not make out
+precisely what he was driving at; but I saw he had some artful game of
+his own to play, and that he was playing it subtly. I also saw that,
+vapid as he was, his vapidity did not prevent him from being worldly
+wise with the wisdom of the self-seeking man of the world, who utterly
+distrusts and disbelieves in all the higher emotions of humanity. He
+harped so often on this string that on our second day out, as we lolled
+on deck in the heat, I had to rebuke him sharply. He had been sneering
+for some hours. 'There are two kinds of silly simplicity, Lord
+Southminster,' I said, at last. 'One kind is the silly simplicity of the
+rustic who trusts everybody; the other kind is the silly simplicity of
+the Pall Mall clubman who trusts nobody. It is just as foolish and just
+as one-sided to overlook the good as to overlook the evil in humanity.
+If you trust everyone, you are likely to be taken in; but if you trust
+no one, you put yourself at a serious practical disadvantage, besides
+losing half the joy of living.'
+
+'Then you think me a fool, like Georgey?' he broke out.
+
+'I should never be rude enough to say so,' I answered, fanning myself.
+
+'Well, you're what I call a first-rate companion for a voyage down the
+Red Sea,' he put in, gazing abstractedly at the awnings. 'Such a lovely
+freezing mixture! A fellah doesn't need ices when _you're_ on tap. I
+recommend you as a refrigeratah.'
+
+'I am glad,' I answered demurely, 'if I have secured your approbation in
+that humble capacity. I'm sure I have tried hard for it.'
+
+[Illustration: NOTHING SEEMED TO PUT THE MAN DOWN.]
+
+Yet nothing that I could say seemed to put the man down. In spite of
+rebuffs, he was assiduous in running down the companion-ladder for my
+parasol or my smelling-bottle; he fetched me chairs; he stayed me with
+cushions; he offered to lend me books; he pestered me to drink his wine;
+and he kept Elsie in champagne, which she annoyed me by accepting. Poor
+dear Elsie clearly failed to understand the creature. 'He's so kind and
+polite, Brownie, isn't he?' she would observe in her simple fashion. 'Do
+you know, I think he's taken quite a fancy to you! And he'll be an earl
+by-and-by. I call it romantic. How lovely it would seem, dear, to see
+you a countess.'
+
+'Elsie,' I said severely, with one hand on her arm, 'you are a dear
+little soul, and I am very fond of you; but if you think I could sell
+myself for a coronet to a pasty-faced young man with a pea-green
+complexion and glassy blue eyes--I can only say, my child, you have
+misread my character. He isn't a man: he's a lump of putty!'
+
+I think Elsie was quite shocked that I should apply these terms to a
+courtesy lord, the eldest son of a peer. Nature had endowed her with the
+profound British belief that peers should be spoken of in choice and
+peculiar language. 'If a peer's a fool,' Lady Georgina said once to me,
+'people think you should say his temperament does not fit him for the
+conduct of affairs: if he's a roue or a drunkard, they think you should
+say he has unfortunate weaknesses.'
+
+What most of all convinced me, however, that the wishy-washy young man
+with the pea-green complexion must be playing some stealthy game, was
+the demeanour and mental attitude of Mr. Higginson, his courier. After
+the first day, Higginson appeared to be politeness and deference itself
+to us. He behaved to us both, _almost_ as if we belonged to the titled
+classes. He treated us with the second best of his twenty-seven
+graduated manners. He fetched and carried for us with a courtly grace
+which recalled that distinguished diplomat, the Comte de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret, at the station at Malines with Lady Georgina. It is
+true, at his politest moments, I often caught the undercurrent of a
+wicked twinkle in his eye, and felt sure he was doing it all with some
+profound motive. But his external demeanour was everything that one
+could desire from a well-trained man-servant; I could hardly believe it
+was the same man who had growled to me at Florence, 'I shall be even
+with you yet,' as he left our office.
+
+'Do you know, Brownie,' Elsie mused once, 'I really begin to think we
+must have misjudged Higginson. He's so extremely polite. Perhaps, after
+all, he is really a count, who has been exiled and impoverished for his
+political opinions.'
+
+I smiled and held my tongue. Silence costs nothing. But Mr. Higginson's
+political opinions, I felt sure, were of that simple communistic sort
+which the law in its blunt way calls fraudulent. They consisted in a
+belief that all was his which he could lay his hands on.
+
+'Higginson's a splendid fellah for his place, yah know, Miss Cayley,'
+Lord Southminster said to me one evening as we were approaching Aden.
+'What I like about him is, he's so doosid intelligent.'
+
+'Extremely so,' I answered. Then the devil entered into me again. 'He
+had the doosid intelligence even to take in Lady Georgina.'
+
+'Yaas; that's just it, don't you know. Georgey told me that story.
+Screamingly funny, wasn't it? And I said to myself at once, "Higginson's
+the man for me. I want a courier with jolly lots of brains and no
+blooming scruples. I'll entice this chap away from Marmy." And I did. I
+outbid Marmy. Oh, yaas, he's a first-rate fellah, Higginson. What _I_
+want is a man who will do what he's told, and ask no beastly unpleasant
+questions. Higginson's that man. He's as sharp as a ferret.'
+
+'And as dishonest as they make them.'
+
+He opened his hands with a gesture of unconcern. 'All the bettah for my
+purpose. See how frank I am, Miss Cayley. I tell the truth. The truth is
+very rare. You ought to respect me for it.'
+
+'It depends somewhat upon the _kind_ of truth,' I answered, with a
+random shot. 'I don't respect a man, for instance, for confessing to a
+forgery.'
+
+He winced. Not for months after did I know how a stone thrown at a
+venture had chanced to hit the spot, and had vastly enhanced his opinion
+of my cleverness.
+
+'You have heard about Dr. Fortescue-Langley too, I suppose?' I went on.
+
+'Oh, yaas. Wasn't it real jam? He did the doctor-trick on a lady in
+Switzerland. And the way he has come it ovah deah simple old Marmy! He
+played Marmy with Ezekiel! Not so dusty, was it? He's too lovely for
+anything!'
+
+'He's an edged tool,' I said.
+
+'Yaas; that's why I use him.'
+
+'And edged tools may cut the user's fingers.'
+
+[Illustration: YAH DON'T CATCH ME GOING SO FAH FROM NEWMARKET.]
+
+'Not mine,' he answered, taking out a cigarette. 'Oh deah no. He can't
+turn against _me_. He wouldn't dare to. Yah see, I have the fellah
+entirely in my powah. I know all his little games, and I can expose him
+any day. But it suits me to keep him. I don't mind telling yah, since I
+respect your intellect, that he and I are engaged in pulling off a big
+_coup_ togethah. If it were not for that, I wouldn't be heah. Yah don't
+catch me going away so fah from Newmarket and the Empire for nothing.'
+
+'I judged as much,' I answered. And then I was silent.
+
+But I wondered to myself why the neutral-tinted young man should be so
+communicative to an obviously hostile stranger.
+
+For the next few days it amused me to see how hard our lordling tried to
+suit his conversation to myself and Elsie. He was absurdly anxious to
+humour us. Just at first, it is true, he had discussed the subjects that
+lay nearest to his own heart. He was an ardent votary of the noble
+quadruped; and he loved the turf--whose sward, we judged, he trod mainly
+at Tattersall's. He spoke to us with erudition on 'two-year-old form,'
+and gave us several 'safe things' for the spring handicaps. The Oaks he
+considered 'a moral' for Clorinda. He also retailed certain choice
+anecdotes about ladies whose Christian names were chiefly Tottie and
+Flo, and whose honoured surnames have escaped my memory. Most of them
+flourished, I recollect, at the Frivolity Music Hall. But when he
+learned that our interest in the noble quadruped was scarcely more than
+tepid, and that we had never even visited 'the Friv.,' as he
+affectionately called it, he did his best in turn to acquire our
+subjects. He had heard us talk about Florence, for example, and he
+gathered from our talk that we loved its art treasures. So he set
+himself to work to be studiously artistic. It was a beautiful study in
+human ineptitude. 'Ah, yaas,' he, murmured, turning up the pale blue
+eyes ecstatically towards the mast-head. 'Chawming place, Florence! I
+dote on the pickchahs. I know them all by heart. I assuah yah, I've
+spent houahs and houahs feeding my soul in the galleries.'
+
+'And what particular painter does your soul most feed upon?' I asked
+bluntly, with a smile.
+
+The question staggered him. I could see him hunting through the vacant
+chambers of his brain for a Florentine painter. Then a faint light
+gleamed in the leaden eyes, and he fingered the straw-coloured moustache
+with that nervous hand till he almost put a visible point upon it. 'Ah,
+Raphael?' he said, tentatively, with an inquiring air, yet beaming at
+his success. 'Don't you think so? Splendid artist, Raphael!'
+
+'And a very safe guess,' I answered, leading him on. 'You can't go far
+wrong in mentioning Raphael, can you? But after him?'
+
+He dived into the recesses of his memory again, peered about him for a
+minute or two, and brought back nothing. 'I can't remembah the othah
+fellahs' names,' he went on; 'they're all so much alike: all in _elli_,
+don't yah know; but I recollect at the time they impressed me awfully.'
+
+'No doubt,' I answered.
+
+He tried to look through me, and failed. Then he plunged, like a noble
+sportsman that he was, on a second fetch of memory. 'Ah--and Michael
+Angelo,' he went on, quite proud of his treasure-trove. 'Sweet things,
+Michael Angelo's!'
+
+'Very sweet,' I admitted. 'So simple; so touching; so tender; so
+domestic!'
+
+I thought Elsie would explode; but she kept her countenance. The
+pea-green young man gazed at me uneasily. He had half an idea by this
+time that I was making game of him.
+
+However, he fished up a name once more, and clutched at it. 'Savonarola,
+too,' he adventured. 'I adore Savonarola. His pickchahs are beautiful.'
+
+'And so rare!' Elsie murmured.
+
+'Then there is Fra Diavolo?' I suggested, going one better. 'How do you
+like Fra Diavolo?'
+
+He seemed to have heard the name before, but still he hesitated.
+'Ah--what did he paint?' he asked, with growing caution.
+
+I stuffed him valiantly. 'Those charming angels, you know,' I answered.
+'With the roses and the glories!'
+
+'Oh, yaas; I recollect. All askew, aren't they; like this! I remembah
+them very well. But----' a doubt flitted across his brain, 'wasn't his
+name Fra Angelico?'
+
+'His brother,' I replied, casting truth to the winds. 'They worked
+together, you must have heard. One did the saints; the other did the
+opposite. Division of labour, don't you see; Fra Angelico, Fra Diavolo.'
+
+[Illustration: WASN'T FRA DIAVOLO ALSO A COMPOSAH?]
+
+He fingered his cigarette with a dubious hand, and wriggled his
+eye-glass tighter. 'Yaas, beautiful; beautiful! But----' growing
+suspicious apace, 'wasn't Fra Diavolo also a composah?'
+
+'Of course,' I assented. 'In his off time, he composed. Those early
+Italians--so versatile, you see; so versatile!'
+
+He had his doubts, but he suppressed them.
+
+'And Torricelli,' I went on, with a side glance at Elsie, who was
+choking by this time. 'And Chianti, and Frittura, and Cinquevalli, and
+Giulio Romano.'
+
+His distrust increased. 'Now you're trying to make me commit myself,' he
+drawled out. 'I remembah Torricelli--he's the fellah who used to paint
+all his women crooked. But Chianti's a wine; I've often drunk it; and
+Romano's--well, every fellah knows Romano's is a restaurant near the
+Gaiety Theatre.'
+
+'Besides,' I continued, in a drawl like his own, 'there are Risotto, and
+Gnocchi, and Vermicelli, and Anchovy--all famous paintahs, and all of
+whom I don't doubt you admiah.'
+
+Elsie exploded at last. But he took no offence. He smiled inanely, as if
+he rather enjoyed it. 'Look heah, you know,' he said, with his crafty
+smile; 'that's one too much. I'm not taking any. You think yourselves
+very clevah for kidding me with paintahs who are really macaroni and
+cheese and claret; yet if I were to tell you the Lejah was run at Ascot,
+or the Cesarewitch at Doncastah, why, you'd be no wisah. When it comes
+to art, I don't have a look in; but I could tell you a thing or two
+about starting prices.'
+
+And I was forced to admit that there he had reason.
+
+Still, I think he realised that he had better avoid the subject of art
+in future, as we avoided the noble quadruped. He saw his limitations.
+
+Not till the last evening before we reached Bombay did I really
+understand the nature of my neighbour's project. That evening, as it
+chanced, Elsie had a headache and went below early. I stopped with her
+till she dozed off; then I slipped up on deck once more for a breath of
+fresh air, before retiring for the night to the hot and stuffy cabin. It
+was an exquisite evening. The moon rode in the pale green sky of the
+tropics. A strange light still lingered on the western horizon. The
+stifling heat of the Red Sea had given way long since to the refreshing
+coolness of the Indian Ocean. I strolled a while on the quarter-deck,
+and sat down at last near the stern. Next moment, I was aware of
+somebody creeping up to me.
+
+'Look heah, Miss Cayley,' a voice broke in; 'I'm in luck at last! I've
+been waiting, oh, evah so long, for this opportunity.'
+
+I turned and faced him. 'Have you, indeed?' I answered. 'Well, I have
+_not_, Lord Southminster.'
+
+I tried to rise, but he motioned me back to my chair. There were ladies
+on deck, and to avoid being noticed I sank into my seat again.
+
+'I want to speak to you,' he went on, in a voice that (for him) was
+almost impressive. 'Half a mo, Miss Cayley. I want to say--this last
+night--you misunderstand me.'
+
+'On the contrary,' I answered, 'the trouble is--that I understand you
+perfectly.'
+
+'No, yah don't. Look heah.' He bent forward quite romantically. 'I'm
+going to be perfectly frank. Of course yah know that when I came on
+board this ship I came--to checkmate yah.'
+
+'Of course,' I replied. 'Why else should you and Higginson have bothered
+to come here?'
+
+He rubbed his hands together. 'That's just it. You're always clevah. You
+hit it first shot. But there's wheah the point comes in. At first, I
+only thought of how we could circumvent yah. I treated yah as the enemy.
+Now, it's all the othah way. Miss Cayley, you're the cleverest woman I
+evah met in this world; you extort my admiration.'
+
+I could not repress a smile. I didn't know how it was, but I could see I
+possessed some mysterious attraction for the Ashurst family. I was fatal
+to Ashursts. Lady Georgina, Harold Tillington, the Honourable Marmaduke,
+Lord Southminster--different types as they were, all succumbed without
+one blow to me.
+
+'You flatter me,' I answered, coldly.
+
+'No, I don't,' he cried, flashing his cuffs and gazing affectionately at
+his sleeve-links. ''Pon my soul, I assuah yah, I mean it. I can't tell
+you how much I admiah yah. I admiah your intellect. Every day I have
+seen yah, I feel it moah and moah. Why, you're the only person who has
+evah out-flanked my fellah, Higginson. As a rule I don't think much of
+women. I've been through several London seasons, and lots of 'em have
+tried their level best to catch me; the cleverest mammas have been aftah
+me for their Ethels. But I wasn't so easily caught: I dodged the Ethels.
+With you, it's different. I feel'--he paused--'you're a woman a fellah
+might be really proud of.'
+
+'You are too kind,' I answered, in my refrigerator voice.
+
+'Well, will you take me?' he asked, trying to seize my hand. 'Miss
+Cayley, if you will, you will make me unspeakably happy.'
+
+It was a great effort--for him--and I was sorry to crush it. 'I regret,'
+I said, 'that I am compelled to deny you unspeakable happiness.'
+
+[Illustration: TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, YOU'RE STAKING YOUR MONEY ON THE
+WRONG FELLAH.]
+
+'Oh, but you don't catch on. You mistake. Let me explain. You're backing
+the othah man. Now, I happen to know about that: and I assuah you, it's
+an error. Take my word for it, you're staking your money on the wrong
+fellah.'
+
+'I do not understand you,' I replied, drawing away from his approach.
+'And what is more, I may add, you could never understand me.'
+
+'Yaas, but I do. I understand perfectly. I can see where you go wrong.
+You drew up Marmy's will; and you think Marmy has left all he's worth to
+Harold Tillington; so you're putting every penny you've got on Harold.
+Well, that's mere moonshine. Harold may think it's all right; but it's
+not all right. There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the Probate Court.
+Listen heah, Miss Cayley: Higginson and I are a jolly sight sharpah than
+your friend Harold. Harold's what they call a clevah fellah in society,
+and I'm what they call a fool; but I know bettah than Harold which side
+of my bread's buttahed.'
+
+'I don't doubt it,' I answered.
+
+'Well, I have managed this business. I don't mind telling you now, I had
+a telegram from Marmy's valet when we touched at Aden; and poor old
+Marmy's sinking. Habakkuk's been too much for him. Sixteen stone going
+under. Why am I not with him? yah may ask. Because, when a man of
+Marmy's temperament is dying, it's safah to be away from him. There's
+plenty of time for Marmy to altah his will yet--and there are othah
+contingencies. Still, Harold's quite out of it. You take my word for it;
+if you back Harold, you back a man who's not going to get anything;
+while if you back me, you back the winnah, with a coronet into the
+bargain.' And he smiled fatuously.
+
+I looked at him with a look that would have made a wiser man wince. But
+it fell flat on Lord Southminster. 'Do you know why I do not rise and go
+down to my cabin at once?' I said, slowly. 'Because, if I did, somebody
+as I passed might see my burning cheeks--cheeks flushed with shame at
+your insulting proposal--and might guess that you had asked me, and that
+I had refused you. And I should shrink from the disgrace of anyone's
+knowing that you had put such a humiliation upon me. You have been frank
+with me--after your kind, Lord Southminster; frank with the frankness of
+a low and purely commercial nature. I will be frank with you in turn.
+You are right in supposing that I love Harold Tillington--a man whose
+name I hate to mention in your presence. But you are wrong in supposing
+that the disposition of Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's money has or can have
+anything to do with the feelings I entertain towards him. I would marry
+him all the sooner if he were poor and penniless. You cannot
+_understand_ that state of mind, of course: but you must be content to
+_accept_ it. And I would not marry _you_ if there were no other man left
+in the world to marry. I should as soon think of marrying a lump of
+dough.' I faced him all crimson. 'Is _that_ plain enough? Do you see now
+that I really mean it?'
+
+He gazed at me with a curious look, and twirled what he considered his
+moustache once more, quite airily. The man was imperturbable--a
+pachydermatous imbecile. 'You're all wrong, yah know,' he said, after a
+long pause, during which he had regarded me through his eye-glass as if
+I were a specimen of some rare new species. 'You're all wrong, and yah
+won't believe me. But I tell yah, I know what I'm talking about. You
+think it's quite safe about Marmy's money--that he's left it to Harold,
+because you drew the will up. I assuah you that will's not worth the
+paper it's written on. You fancy Harold's a hot favourite: he's a rank
+outsidah. I give you a chance, and you won't take it. I want yah
+because you're a remarkable woman. Most of the Ethels cry when they're
+trying to make a fellah propose to 'em; and I don't like 'em damp: but
+_you_ have some go about yah. You insist upon backing the wrong man. But
+you'll find your mistake out yet.' A bright idea struck him. 'I say--why
+don't you hedge? Leave it open till Marmy's gone, and then marry the
+winnah?'
+
+It was hopeless trying to make this clod understand. His brain was not
+built with the right cells for understanding me. 'Lord Southminster,' I
+said, turning upon him and clasping my hands, 'I will not go away while
+you stop here. But you have some spark enough of a gentleman in your
+composition, I hope, not to inflict your company any longer upon a woman
+who does not desire it. I ask you to leave me here alone. When you have
+gone, and I have had time to recover from your degrading offer, I may
+perhaps feel able to go down to my cabin.'
+
+He stared at me with open blue eyes--those watery blue eyes. 'Oh, just
+as you like,' he answered. 'I wanted to do you a good turn, because
+you're the only woman I evah really admiahed--to say admiah, don't you
+know; not trotted round like the Ethels: but you won't allow me. I'll go
+if you wish it; though I tell you again, you're backing the wrong man,
+and soonah or latah you'll discover it. I don't mind laying you six to
+four against him. Howevah, I'll do one thing for yah: I'll leave this
+offah always open. I'm not likely to marry any othah woman--not good
+enough, is it?--and if evah you find out you're mistaken about Harold
+Tillington, remembah, honour bright, I shall be ready at any time to
+renew my offah.'
+
+By this time I was at boiling-point. I could not find words to answer
+him. I waved him away angrily with one hand. He raised his hat with
+quite a jaunty air and strolled off forward, puffing his cigarette. I
+don't think he even knew the disgust with which he inspired me.
+
+I sat some hours with the cool air playing about my burning cheeks
+before I mustered up courage to rise and go down below again.
+
+
+
+
+IX
+
+THE ADVENTURES OF THE MAGNIFICENT MAHARAJAH
+
+
+Our arrival at Bombay was a triumphal entry. We were received like
+royalty. Indeed, to tell you the truth, Elsie and I were beginning to
+get just a leetle bit spoiled. It struck us now that our casual
+connection with the Ashurst family in its various branches had succeeded
+in saddling us, like the Lady of Burleigh, 'with the burden of an honour
+unto which we were not born.' We were everywhere treated as persons of
+importance; and, oh dear, by dint of such treatment we began to feel at
+last almost as if we had been raised in the purple. I felt that when we
+got back to England we should turn up our noses at plain bread and
+butter.
+
+Yes, life has been kind to me. Have your researches into English
+literature ever chanced to lead you into reading Horace Walpole, I
+wonder? That polite trifler is fond of a word which he coined
+himself--'Serendipity.' It derives from the name of a certain happy
+Indian Prince Serendip, whom he unearthed (or invented) in some obscure
+Oriental story; a prince for whom the fairies or the genii always
+managed to make everything pleasant. It implies the faculty, which a few
+of us possess, of finding whatever we want turn up accidentally at the
+exact right moment. Well, I believe I must have been born with
+serendipity in my mouth, in place of the proverbial silver spoon, for
+wherever I go, all things seem to come out exactly right for me.
+
+The _Jumna_, for example, had hardly heaved to in Bombay Harbour when we
+noticed on the quay a very distinguished-looking Oriental potentate, in
+a large, white turban with a particularly big diamond stuck
+ostentatiously in its front. He stalked on board with a martial air, as
+soon as we stopped, and made inquiries from our captain after someone he
+expected. The captain received him with that odd mixture of respect for
+rank and wealth, combined with true British contempt for the inferior
+black man, which is universal among his class in their dealings with
+native Indian nobility. The Oriental potentate, however, who was
+accompanied by a gorgeous suite like that of the Wise Men in Italian
+pictures, seemed satisfied with his information, and moved over with his
+stately glide in our direction. Elsie and I were standing near the
+gangway among our rugs and bundles, in the hopeless helplessness of
+disembarkation. He approached us respectfully, and, bowing with extended
+hands and a deferential air, asked, in excellent English, 'May I venture
+to inquire which of you two ladies is Miss Lois Cayley?'
+
+'_I_ am,' I replied, my breath taken away by this unexpected greeting.
+'May I venture to inquire in return how you came to know I was arriving
+by this steamer?'
+
+[Illustration: I AM THE MAHARAJAH OF MOOZUFFERNUGGAR.]
+
+He held out his hand, with a courteous inclination. 'I am the Maharajah
+of Moozuffernuggar,' he answered in an impressive tone, as if everybody
+knew of the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar as familiarly as they knew of
+the Duke of Cambridge. 'Moozuffernuggar in Rajputana--_not_ the one in
+the Doab. You must have heard my name from Mr. Harold Tillington.'
+
+I had not; but I dissembled, so as to salve his pride. 'Mr. Tillington's
+friends are _our_ friends,' I answered, sententiously.
+
+'And Mr. Tillington's friends are _my_ friends,' the Maharajah retorted,
+with a low bow to Elsie. 'This is no doubt, Miss Petheridge. I have
+heard of your expected arrival, as you will guess, from Tillington. He
+and I were at Oxford together; I am a Merton man. It was Tillington who
+first taught me all I know of cricket. He took me to stop at his
+father's place in Dumfriesshire. I owe much to his friendship; and when
+he wrote me that friends of his were arriving by the _Jumna_, why, I
+made haste to run down to Bombay to greet them.'
+
+The episode was one of those topsy-turvy mixtures of all places and
+ages which only this jumbled century of ours has witnessed; it impressed
+me deeply. Here was this Indian prince, a feudal Rajput chief, living
+practically among his vassals in the Middle Ages when at home in India;
+yet he said 'I am a Merton man,' as Harold himself might have said it;
+and he talked about cricket as naturally as Lord Southminster talked
+about the noble quadruped. The oddest part of it all was, we alone felt
+the incongruity; to the Maharajah, the change from Moozuffernuggar to
+Oxford and from Oxford back again to Moozuffernuggar seemed perfectly
+natural. They were but two alternative phases in a modern Indian
+gentleman's education and experience.
+
+Still, what were we to do with him? If Harold had presented me with a
+white elephant I could hardly have been more embarrassed than I was at
+the apparition of this urbane and magnificent Hindoo prince. He was
+young; he was handsome; he was slim, for a rajah; he wore European
+costume, save for the huge white turban with its obtrusive diamond; and
+he spoke English much better than a great many Englishmen. Yet what
+place could he fill in my life and Elsie's? For once, I felt almost
+angry with Harold. Why couldn't he have allowed us to go quietly through
+India, two simple unofficial journalistic pilgrims, in our native
+obscurity?
+
+His Highness of Moozuffernuggar, however, had his own views on this
+question. With a courteous wave of one dusky hand, he motioned us
+gracefully into somebody else's deck chairs, and then sat down on
+another beside us, while the gorgeous suite stood by in respectful
+silence--unctuous gentlemen in pink-and-gold brocade--forming a court
+all round us. Elsie and I, unaccustomed to be so observed, grew
+conscious of our hands, our skirts, our postures. But the Maharajah
+posed himself with perfect unconcern, like one well used to the fierce
+light of royalty. 'I have come,' he said, with simple dignity, 'to
+superintend the preparations for your reception.'
+
+'Gracious heavens!' I exclaimed. 'Our reception, Maharajah? I think you
+misunderstand. We are two ordinary English ladies of the proletariat,
+accustomed to the level plain of professional society. We expect no
+reception.'
+
+He bowed again, with stately Eastern deference. 'Friends of
+Tillington's,' he said, shortly, 'are persons of distinction. Besides, I
+have heard of you from Lady Georgina Fawley.'
+
+'Lady Georgina is too good,' I answered, though inwardly I raged against
+her. Why couldn't she leave us alone, to feed in peace on dak-bungalow
+chicken, instead of sending this regal-mannered heathen to bother us?
+
+'So I have come down to Bombay to make sure that you are met in the
+style that befits your importance in society,' he went on, waving his
+suite away with one careless hand, for he saw it fussed us. 'I mentioned
+you to His Honour the Acting-Governor, who had not heard you were
+coming. His Honour's aide-de-camp will follow shortly with an invitation
+to Government House while you remain in Bombay--which will not be many
+days, I don't doubt, for there is nothing in this city of plague to stop
+for. Later on, during your progress up country, I do myself the honour
+to hope that you will stay as my guests for as long as you choose at
+Moozuffernuggar.'
+
+My first impulse was to answer: 'Impossible, Maharajah; we couldn't
+dream of accepting your kind invitation.' But on second thoughts, I
+remembered my duty to my proprietor. Journalism first: inclination
+afterwards! My letter from Egypt on the rescue of the Englishwoman who
+escaped from Khartoum had brought me great _eclat_ as a special
+correspondent, and the _Daily Telephone_ now billed my name in big
+letters on its placards, so Mr. Elworthy wrote me. Here was another
+noble chance; must I not strive to rise to it? Two English ladies at a
+native court in Rajputana! that ought to afford scope for some rattling
+journalism!
+
+'It is extremely kind of you,' I said, hesitating, 'and it would give us
+great pleasure, were it feasible, to accept your friendly offer.
+But--English ideas, you know, prince! Two unprotected women! I hardly
+see how we could come alone to Moozuffernuggar, unchaperoned.'
+
+The Maharajah's face lighted up; he was evidently flattered that we
+should even thus dubiously entertain his proposal. 'Oh, I've thought
+about that, too,' he answered, growing more colloquial in tone. 'I've
+been some days in Bombay, making inquiries and preparations. You see,
+you had not informed the authorities of your intended visit, so that you
+were travelling _incognito_--or should it be _incognita_?--and if
+Tillington hadn't written to let me know your movements, you might have
+arrived at this port without anybody's knowing it, and have been
+compelled to take refuge in an hotel on landing.' He spoke as if we had
+been accustomed all our lives long to be received with red cloth by the
+Mayor and Corporation, and presented with illuminated addresses and the
+freedom of the city in a gold snuff-box. 'But I have seen to all that.
+The Acting-Governor's aide-de-camp will be down before long, and I have
+arranged that if you consent a little later to honour my humble roof in
+Rajputana with your august presence, Major Balmossie and his wife will
+accompany you and chaperon you. I have lived in England: of course I
+understand that two English ladies of your rank and position cannot
+travel alone--as if you were Americans. But Mrs. Balmossie is a nice
+little soul, of unblemished character'--that sweet touch charmed
+me--'received at Government House'--he had learned the respect due to
+Mrs. Grundy--'so that if you will accept my invitation, you may rest
+assured that everything will be done with the utmost regard to the--the
+unaccountable prejudices of Europeans.'
+
+His thoughtfulness took me aback. I thanked him warmly. He unbent at my
+thanks. 'And I am obliged to you in return,' he said. 'It gives me real
+pleasure to be able, through you, to repay Harold Tillington part of the
+debt I owe him. He was so good to me at Oxford. Miss Cayley, you are new
+to India, and therefore--as yet--no doubt unprejudiced. You treat a
+native gentleman, I see, like a human being. I hope you will not stop
+long enough in our country to get over that stage--as happens to most of
+your countrymen and countrywomen. In England, a man like myself is an
+Indian prince; in India, to ninety-nine out of a hundred Europeans, he
+is just "a damned nigger."'
+
+I smiled sympathetically. 'I think,' I said, venturing under these
+circumstances on a harmless little swear-word--of course, in quotation
+marks--'you may trust me never to reach "damn-nigger" point.'
+
+'So I believe,' he answered, 'if you are a friend of Harold
+Tillington's. Ebony or ivory, he never forgot we were two men together.'
+
+[Illustration: WHO'S YOUR BLACK FRIEND?]
+
+Five minutes later, when the Maharajah had gone to inquire about our
+luggage, Lord Southminster strolled up. 'Oh, I say, Miss Cayley,' he
+burst out, 'I'm off now; ta-ta: but remembah, that offah's always open.
+By the way, who's your black friend? I couldn't help laughing at the
+airs the fellah gave himself. To see a niggah sitting theah, with his
+suite all round him, waving his hands and sunning his rings, and
+behaving for all the world as if he were a gentleman; it's reahly too
+ridiculous. Harold Tillington picked up with a fellah like that at
+Oxford--doosid good cricketer too; wondah if this is the same one?'
+
+'Good-bye, Lord Southminster,' I said, quietly, with a stiff little bow.
+'Remember, on your side, that your "offer" was rejected once for all
+last night. Yes, the Indian prince _is_ Harold Tillington's friend, the
+Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar--whose ancestors were princes while ours
+were dressed in woad and oak-leaves. But you were right about one
+thing; _he_ behaves--like a gentleman.'
+
+'Oh, I say,' the pea-green young man ejaculated, drawing back; 'that's
+anothah in the eye for me. You're a good 'un at facers. You gave me one
+for a welcome, and you give me one now for a parting shot. Nevah mind
+though, I can wait; you're backing the wrong fellah--but you're not the
+Ethels, and you're well worth waiting for.' He waved his hand. 'So-long!
+See yah again in London.'
+
+And he retired, with that fatuous smile still absorbing his features.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Our three days in Bombay were uneventful; we merely waited to get rid of
+the roll of the ship, which continued to haunt us for hours after we
+landed--the floor of our bedrooms having acquired an ugly trick of
+rising in long undulations, as if Bombay were suffering from chronic
+earthquake. We made the acquaintance of His Honour the Acting Governor,
+and His Honour's consort. We were also introduced to Mrs. Balmossie, the
+lady who was to chaperon us to Moozuffernuggar. Her husband was a
+soldierly Scotchman from Forfarshire, but she herself was English--a
+flighty little body with a perpetual giggle. She giggled so much over
+the idea of the Maharajah's inviting us to his palace that I wondered
+why on earth she accepted his invitation. At this she seemed surprised.
+'Why, it's one of the jolliest places in Rajputana,' she answered, with
+a bland Simla smile; '_so_ picturesque--he, he, he--and _so_ delightful.
+Simpkin flows like water-- Simpkin's baboo English for champagne, you
+know--he, he, he; and though of course the Maharajah's only a native
+like the rest of them--he, he, he--still, he's been educated at Oxford,
+and has mixed with Europeans, and he knows how to make one--he, he,
+he--well, thoroughly comfortable.'
+
+'But what shall we eat?' I asked. 'Rice, ghee, and chupatties?'
+
+'Oh dear no--he, he, he--Europe food, every bit of it. Foie gras, and
+York ham, and wine _ad lib_. His hospitality's massive. If it weren't
+for that, of course, one wouldn't dream of going there. But Archie hopes
+some day to be made Resident, don't you know; and it will do him no
+harm--he, he, he--with the Foreign Office, to have cultivated friendly
+relations beforehand with His Highness of Moozuffernuggar. These
+natives--he, he, he--so absurdly sensitive!'
+
+For myself, the Maharajah interested me, and I rather liked him.
+Besides, he was Harold's friend, and that was in itself sufficient
+recommendation. So I determined to push straight into the heart of
+native India first, and only afterwards to do the regulation tourist
+round of Agra and Delhi, the Taj and the mosques, Benares and Allahabad,
+leaving the English and Calcutta for the tail-end of my journey. It was
+better journalism; as I thought that thought, I began to fear that Mr.
+Elworthy was right after all, and that I was a born journalist.
+
+On the day fixed for our leaving Bombay, whom should I meet but Lord
+Southminster--with the Maharajah--at the railway station!
+
+He lounged up to me with that eternal smile still vaguely pervading his
+empty features. 'Well, we shall have a jolly party, I gathah,' he said.
+'They tell me this niggah is famous for his tigahs.'
+
+I gazed at him, positively taken aback. 'You don't mean to tell me,' I
+cried, 'you actually propose to accept the Maharajah's hospitality?'
+
+His smile absorbed him. 'Yaas,' he answered twirling his yellow
+moustache, and gazing across at the unconscious prince, who was engaged
+in overlooking the arrangements for our saloon carriage. 'The black
+fellah discovahed I was a cousin of Harold's, so he came to call upon me
+at the club, of which some Johnnies heah made me an honorary membah.
+He's offahed me the run of his place while I'm in Indiah, and, of
+course, I've accepted. Eccentric sort of chap; can't make him out
+myself: says anyone connected with Harold Tillington is always deah to
+him. Rum start, isn't it?'
+
+'He is a mere Oriental,' I answered, 'unused to the ways of civilised
+life. He cherishes the superannuated virtue of gratitude.'
+
+'Yaas; no doubt--so I'm coming along with you.'
+
+I drew back, horrified. 'Now? While I am there? After what I told you
+last week on the steamer?'
+
+'Oh, that's all right. I bear yah no malice. If I want any fun, of
+course I must go while _you're_ at Moozuffernuggar.'
+
+'Why so?'
+
+'Yah see, this black boundah means to get up some big things at his
+place in your honah; and one naturally goes to stop with anyone who has
+big things to offah. Hang it all, what does it mattah who a fellah is if
+he can give yah good shooting? It's shooting, don't yah know, that keeps
+society in England togethah!'
+
+'And therefore you propose to stop in the same house with me!' I
+exclaimed, 'in spite of what I have told you! Well, Lord Southminster, I
+should have thought there were limits which even _your_ taste----'
+
+He cut me short with an inane grin. 'There you make your blooming little
+erraw,' he answered, airily. 'I told yah, I keep my offah still open;
+and, hang it all, I don't mean to lose sight of yah in a hurry. Some
+other fellah might come along and pick you up when I wasn't looking; and
+I don't want to miss yah. In point of fact, I don't mind telling yah, I
+back myself still for a couple of thou' soonah or latah to marry yah.
+It's dogged as does it; faint heart, they say, nevah won fair lady!'
+
+If it had not been that I could not bear to disappoint my Indian prince,
+I think, when I heard this, I should have turned back then and there at
+the station.
+
+The journey up country was uneventful, but dusty. The Mofussil appears
+to consist mainly of dust; indeed, I can now recall nothing of it but
+one pervading white cloud, which has blotted from my memory all its
+other components. The dust clung to my hair after many washings, and was
+never really beaten out of my travelling clothes; I believe part of it
+thus went round the world with me to England. When at last we reached
+Moozuffernuggar, after two days' and a night's hard travelling, we were
+met by a crowd of local grandees, who looked as if they had spent the
+greater part of their lives in brushing back their whiskers, and we
+drove up at once, in European carriages, to the Maharajah's palace. The
+look of it astonished me. It was a strange and rambling old Hindoo
+hill-fort, high perched on a scarped crag, like Edinburgh Castle, and
+accessible only on one side, up a gigantic staircase, guarded on either
+hand by huge sculptured elephants cut in the living sandstone. Below
+clustered the town, an intricate mass of tangled alleys. I had never
+seen anything so picturesque or so dirty in my life; as for Elsie, she
+was divided between admiration for its beauty and terror at the
+big-whiskered and white-turbaned attendants.
+
+'What sort of rooms shall we have?' I whispered to our moral guarantee,
+Mrs. Balmossie.
+
+'Oh, beautiful, dear,' the little lady smirked back. 'Furnished
+throughout--he, he, he--by Liberty. The Maharajah wants to do honour to
+his European guests--he, he, he--he fancies, poor man, he's quite
+European. That's what comes of sending these creatures to Oxford! So
+he's had suites of rooms furnished for any white visitors who may chance
+to come his way. Ridiculous, isn't it? _And_ champagne--oh, gallons of
+it! He's quite proud of his rooms, he, he, he--he's always asking people
+to come and occupy them; he thinks he's done them up in the best style
+of decoration.'
+
+He had reason, for they were as tasteful as they were dainty and
+comfortable. And I could not for the life of me make out why his
+hospitable inclination should be voted 'ridiculous.' But Mrs. Balmossie
+appeared to find all natives alike a huge joke together. She never even
+spoke of them without a condescending smile of distant compassion.
+Indeed, most Anglo-Indians seem first to do their best to Anglicise the
+Hindoo, and then to laugh at him for aping the Englishman.
+
+After we had been three days at the palace and had spent hours in the
+wonderful temples and ruins, the Maharajah announced with considerable
+pride at breakfast one morning that he had got up a tiger-hunt in our
+special honour.
+
+Lord Southminster rubbed his hands.
+
+'Ha, that's right, Maharaj,' he said, briskly. 'I do love big game. To
+tell yah the truth, old man, that's just what I came heah for.'
+
+'You do me too much honour,' the Hindoo answered, with quiet sarcasm.
+'My town and palace may have little to offer that is worth your
+attention; but I am glad that my big game, at least, has been lucky
+enough to attract you.'
+
+The remark was thrown away on the pea-green young man. He had described
+his host to me as 'a black boundah.' Out of his own mouth I condemned
+him--he supplied the very word--he was himself nothing more than a born
+bounder.
+
+[Illustration: A TIGER-HUNT IS NOT A THING TO BE GOT UP LIGHTLY.]
+
+During the next few days, the preparations for the tiger-hunt occupied
+all the Maharajah's energies. 'You know, Miss Cayley,' he said to me, as
+we stood upon the big stairs, looking down on the Hindoo city, 'a
+tiger-hunt is not a thing to be got up lightly. Our people themselves
+don't like killing a tiger. They reverence it too much. They're afraid
+its spirit might haunt them afterwards and bring them bad luck. That's
+one of our superstitions.'
+
+'You do not share it yourself, then?' I asked.
+
+He drew himself up and opened his palms, with a twinkling of pendant
+emeralds. 'I am royal,' he answered, with naive dignity, 'and the tiger
+is a royal beast. Kings know the ways of kings. If a king kills what is
+kingly, it owes him no grudge for it. But if a common man or a low caste
+man were to kill a tiger--who can say what might happen?'
+
+I saw he was not himself quite free from the superstition.
+
+'Our peasants,' he went on, fixing me with his great black eyes, 'won't
+even mention the tiger by name, for fear of offending him: they believe
+him to be the dwelling-place of a powerful spirit. If they wish to speak
+of him, they say, "the great beast," or "my lord, the striped one." Some
+think the spirit is immortal except at the hands of a king. But they
+have no objection to see him destroyed by others. They will even point
+out his whereabouts, and rejoice over his death; for it relieves the
+village of a serious enemy, and they believe the spirit will only haunt
+the huts of those who actually kill him.'
+
+'Then you know where each tiger lives?' I asked.
+
+'As well as your gamekeepers in England know which covert may be drawn
+for foxes. Yes; 'tis a royal sport, and we keep it for Maharajahs. I
+myself never hunt a tiger till some European visitor of distinction
+comes to Moozuffernuggar, that I may show him good sport. This tiger we
+shall hunt to-morrow, for example, he is a bad old hand. He has carried
+off the buffaloes of my villagers over yonder for years and years, and
+of late he has also become a man-eater. He once ate a whole family at a
+meal--a man, his wife, and his three children. The people at Janwargurh
+have been pestering me for weeks to come and shoot him; and each week he
+has eaten somebody--a child or a woman; the last was yesterday--but I
+waited till you came, because I thought it would be something to show
+you that you would not be likely to see elsewhere.'
+
+'And you let the poor people go on being eaten, that we might enjoy this
+sport!' I cried.
+
+He shrugged his shoulders, and opened his palms. 'They were villagers,
+you know--ryots: mere tillers of the soil--poor naked peasants. I have
+thousands of them to spare. If a tiger eats ten of them, they only say,
+"It was written upon their foreheads." One woman more or less--who would
+notice her at Moozuffernuggar?'
+
+Then I perceived that the Maharajah was a gentleman, but still a
+barbarian.
+
+The eventful morning arrived at last, and we started, all agog, for the
+jungle where the tiger was known to live. Elsie excused herself. She
+remarked to me the night before, as I brushed her back hair for her,
+that she had 'half a mind' not to go. 'My dear,' I answered, giving the
+brush a good dash, 'for a higher mathematician, that phrase lacks
+accuracy. If you were to say "seven-eighths of a mind" it would be
+nearer the mark. In point of fact, if you ask my opinion, your
+inclination to go is a vanishing quantity.'
+
+She admitted the impeachment with an accusing blush. 'You're quite
+right, Brownie; to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of it.'
+
+'So am I, dear; horribly afraid. Between ourselves, I'm in a deadly funk
+of it. But "the brave man is not he that feels no fear"; and I believe
+the same principle applies almost equally to the brave woman. I mean
+"that fear to subdue" as far as I am able. The Maharajah says I shall be
+the first girl who has ever gone tiger-hunting. I'm frightened out of my
+life. I never held a gun in my born days before. But, Elsie, recollect,
+this is _splendid_ journalism! I intend to go through with it.'
+
+'You offer yourself on the altar, Brownie.'
+
+'I do, dear; I propose to die in the cause. I expect my proprietor to
+carve on my tomb, "Sacred to the memory of the martyr of journalism. She
+was killed, in the act of taking shorthand notes, by a Bengal tiger."'
+
+We started at early dawn, a motley mixture. My short bicycling skirt did
+beautifully for tiger-hunting. There was a vast company of native
+swells, nawabs and ranas, in gorgeous costumes, whose precise names and
+titles I do not pretend to remember; there were also Major Balmossie,
+Lord Southminster, the Maharajah, and myself--all mounted on
+gaily-caparisoned elephants. We had likewise, on foot, a miserable crowd
+of wretched beaters, with dirty white loin-cloths. We were all very
+brave, of course--demonstratively brave--and we talked a great deal at
+the start about the exhilaration given by 'the spice of danger.' But it
+somehow struck me that the poor beaters on foot had the majority of the
+danger and extremely little of the exhilaration. Each of us great folk
+was mounted on his own elephant, which carried a light basket-work
+howdah in two compartments: the front one intended for the noble
+sportsman, the back one for a servant with extra guns and ammunition. I
+pretended to like it, but I fear I trembled visibly. Our mahouts sat on
+the elephants' necks, each armed with a pointed goad, to whose
+admonition the huge beasts answered like clock-work. A born journalist
+always pretends to know everything before hand, so I speak carelessly of
+the 'mahout,' as if he were a familiar acquaintance. But I don't mind
+telling you aside, in confidence, that I had only just learnt the word
+that morning.
+
+The Maharajah protested at first against my taking part in the actual
+hunt, but I think his protest was merely formal. In his heart of hearts
+I believe he was proud that the first lady tiger-hunter should have
+joined his party.
+
+Dusty and shadeless, the road from Moozuffernuggar fares straight across
+the plain towards the crumbling mountains. Behind, in the heat mist, the
+castle and palace on their steeply-scarped crag, with the squalid town
+that clustered at their feet, reminded me once more most strangely of
+Edinburgh, where I used to spend my vacations from Girton. But the
+pitiless sun differed greatly from the gray haar of the northern
+metropolis. It warmed into intense white the little temples of the
+wayside, and beat on our heads with tropical garishness.
+
+I am bound to admit also that tiger-hunting is not quite all it is
+cracked up to be. In my fancy I had pictured the gallant and
+bloodthirsty beast rushing out upon us full pelt from some grass-grown
+nullah at the first sniff of our presence, and fiercely attacking both
+men and elephants. Instead of that, I will confess the whole truth:
+frightened as at least one of us was of the tiger, the tiger was still
+more desperately frightened of his human assailants. I could see clearly
+that, so far from rushing out of his own accord to attack us, his one
+desire was to be let alone. He was horribly afraid; he skulked in the
+jungle like a wary old fox in a trusty spinney. There was no nullah
+(whatever a nullah may be), there was only a waste of dusty cane-brake.
+We encircled the tall grass patch where he lurked, forming a big round
+with a ring-fence of elephants. The beaters on foot, advancing, half
+naked, with a caution with which I could fully sympathise, endeavoured
+by loud shouts and gesticulations to rouse the royal beast to a sense of
+his position. Not a bit of it: the royal beast declined to be drawn; he
+preferred retirement. The Maharajah, whose elephant was stationed next
+to mine, even apologised for the resolute cowardice with which he clung
+to his ignoble lurking-place.
+
+The beaters drew in: the elephants, raising their trunks in air and
+sniffing suspicion, moved slowly inward. We had girt him round now with
+a perfect ring, through which he could not possibly break without
+attacking somebody. The Maharajah kept a fixed eye on my personal
+safety. But still the royal animal crouched and skulked, and still the
+black beaters shrieked, howled, and gesticulated. At last, among the
+tall perpendicular lights and shadows of the big grasses and bamboos, I
+seemed to see something move--something striped like the stems, yet
+passing slowly, slowly, slowly between them. It moved in a stealthy
+undulating line. No one could believe till he saw it how the bright
+flame-coloured bands of vivid orange-yellow on the monster's flanks, and
+the interspersed black stripes, could fade away and harmonise, in their
+native surroundings, with the lights and shades of the upright jungle.
+It was a marvel of mimicry. 'Look there!' I cried to the Maharajah,
+pointing one eager hand. 'What is that thing there, moving?'
+
+He stared where I pointed. 'By Jove,' he cried, raising his rifle with a
+sportsman's quickness, 'you have spotted him first! The tiger!'
+
+The terrified beast stole slowly and cautiously through the tall
+grasses, his lithe, silken side gliding in and out snakewise, and only
+his fierce eyes burning bright with gleaming flashes between the gloom
+of the jungle. Once I had seen him, I could follow with ease his sinuous
+path among the tangled bamboos, a waving line of beauty in perpetual
+motion. The Maharajah followed him too, with his keen eyes, and pointed
+his rifle hastily. But, quick as he was, Lord Southminster was before
+him. I had half expected to find the pea-green young man turn coward at
+the last moment; but in that I was mistaken: I will do him the justice
+to say, whatever else he was, he was a born sportsman. The gleam of joy
+in his leaden eye when he caught sight of the tiger, the flush of
+excitement on his pasty face, the eagerness of his alert attitude, were
+things to see and remember. That moment almost ennobled him. In sight of
+danger, the best instincts of the savage seemed to revive within him. In
+civilised life he was a poor creature; face to face with a wild beast he
+became a mighty shikari. Perhaps that was why he was so fond of big-game
+shooting. He may have felt it raised him in the scale of being.
+
+He lifted his rifle and fired. He was a cool shot, and he wounded the
+beast upon its left shoulder. I could see the great crimson stream gush
+out all at once across the shapely sides, staining the flame-coloured
+stripes and reddening the black shadows. The tiger drew back, gave a
+low, fierce growl, and then crouched among the jungle. I saw he was
+going to leap; he bent his huge backbone into a strong downward curve,
+took in a deep breath, and stood at bay, glaring at us. Which elephant
+would he attack? That was what he was now debating. Next moment, with a
+frightful R'-r'-r'-r', he had straightened out his muscles, and, like a
+bolt from a bow, had launched his huge bulk forward.
+
+I never saw his charge. I never knew he had leapt upon me. I only felt
+my elephant rock from side to side like a ship in a storm. He was
+trumpeting, shaking, roaring with rage and pain, for the tiger was on
+his flanks, its claws buried deep in the skin of his forehead. I could
+not keep my seat; I felt myself tossed about in the frail howdah like a
+pill in a pill-box. The elephant, in a death grapple, was trying to
+shake off his ghastly enemy. For a minute or two, I was conscious of
+nothing save this swinging movement. Then, opening my eyes for a second,
+I saw the tiger, in all his terrible beauty, clinging to the elephant's
+head by the claws of his fore paws, and struggling for a foothold on
+its trunk with his mighty hind legs, in a wounded agony of despair and
+vengeance. He would sell his life dear; he would have one or other of
+us.
+
+Lord Southminster raised his rifle again; but the Maharajah shouted
+aloud in an angry voice: 'Don't fire! Don't fire! You will kill the
+lady! You can't aim at him like that. The beast is rocking so that no
+one can say where a shot will take effect. Down with your gun, sir,
+instantly!'
+
+[Illustration: IT WENT OFF UNEXPECTEDLY.]
+
+My mahout, unable to keep his seat with the rocking, now dropped off his
+cushion among the scrub below. He could speak a few words of English.
+'Shoot, Mem Sahib, shoot!' he cried, flinging his hands up. But I was
+tossed to and fro, from side to side, with my rifle under my arm. It was
+impossible to aim. Yet in sheer terror I tried to draw the trigger. I
+failed; but somehow I caught my rifle against the side of my cage.
+Something snapped in it somewhere. It went off unexpectedly, without my
+aiming or firing. I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw a
+swimming picture of the great sullen beast, loosing his hold on the
+elephant. I saw his brindled face; I saw his white tusks. But his
+gleaming pupils burned bright no longer. His jaw was full towards me: I
+had shot him between the eyes. He fell, slowly, with blood streaming
+from his nostrils, and his tongue lolling out. His muscles relaxed; his
+huge limbs grew limp. In a minute, he lay stretched at full length on
+the ground, with his head on one side, a grand, terrible picture.
+
+My mahout flung up his hands in wonder and amazement. 'My father!' he
+cried aloud. 'Truly, the Mem Sahib is a great shikari!'
+
+The Maharajah stretched across to me. 'That was a wonderful shot!' he
+exclaimed. 'I could never have believed a woman could show such nerve
+and coolness.'
+
+Nerve and coolness, indeed! I was trembling all over like an Italian
+greyhound, every limb a jelly; and I had not even fired: the rifle went
+off of itself without me. I am innocent of having ever endangered the
+life of a haycock. But once more I dissembled. 'Yes, it _was_ a
+difficult shot,' I said jauntily, as if I rather liked tiger-hunting.
+'I didn't think I'd hit him.' Still the effect of my speech was somewhat
+marred, I fear, by the tears that in spite of me rolled down my cheek
+silently.
+
+''Pon honah, I nevah saw a finah piece of shooting in my life,' Lord
+Southminster drawled out. Then he added aside, in an undertone, 'Makes a
+fellow moah determined to annex her than evah!'
+
+I sat in my howdah, half dazed. I hardly heard what they were saying. My
+heart danced like the elephant. Then it stood still within me. I was
+only aware of a feeling of faintness. Luckily for my reputation as a
+mighty sportswoman, however, I just managed to keep up, and did not
+actually faint, as I was more than half inclined to do.
+
+Next followed the native paean. The beaters crowded round the fallen
+beast in a chorus of congratulation. Many of the villagers also ran out,
+with prayers and ejaculations, to swell our triumph. It was all like a
+dream. They hustled round me and salaamed to me. A woman had shot him!
+Wonderful! A babel of voices resounded in my ears. I was aware that pure
+accident had elevated me into a heroine.
+
+'Put the beast on a pad elephant,' the Maharajah called out.
+
+The beaters tied ropes round his body and raised him with difficulty.
+
+The Maharajah's face grew stern. 'Where are the whiskers?' he asked,
+fiercely, in his own tongue, which Major Balmossie interpreted for me.
+
+The beaters and the villagers, bowing low and expanding their hands,
+made profuse expressions of ignorance and innocence. But the fact was
+patent--the grand face had been mangled. While they had crowded in a
+dense group round the fallen carcass, somebody had cut off the lips and
+whiskers and secreted them.
+
+'They have ruined the skin!' the Maharajah cried out in angry tones. 'I
+intended it for the lady. I shall have them all searched, and the man
+who has done this thing----'
+
+[Illustration: I SAW HIM NOW THE ORIENTAL DESPOT.]
+
+He broke off, and looked around him. His silence was more terrible by
+far than the fiercest threat. I saw him now the Oriental despot. All the
+natives drew back, awe-struck.
+
+'The voice of a king is the voice of a great god,' my mahout murmured,
+in a solemn whisper. Then nobody else said anything.
+
+'Why do they want the whiskers?' I asked, just to set things straight
+again. 'They seem to have been in a precious hurry to take them!'
+
+The Maharajah's brow cleared. He turned to me once more with his
+European manner. 'A tiger's body has wonderful power after his death,'
+he answered. 'His fangs and his claws are very potent charms. His heart
+gives courage. Whoever eats of it will never know fear. His liver
+preserves against death and pestilence. But the highest virtue of all
+exists in his whiskers. They are mighty talismans. Chopped up in food,
+they act as a slow poison, which no doctor can detect, no antidote guard
+against. They are also a sovereign remedy against magic or the evil eye.
+And administered to women, they make an irresistible philtre, a puissant
+love-potion. They secure you the heart of whoever drinks them.'
+
+'I'd give a couple of monkeys for those whiskahs,' Lord Southminster
+murmured, half unnoticed.
+
+We began to move again. 'We'll go on to where we know there is another
+tiger,' the Maharajah said, lightly, as if tigers were partridges. 'Miss
+Cayley, you will come with us?'
+
+I rested on my laurels. (I was quivering still from head to foot.) 'No,
+thank you, Maharajah,' as unconcernedly as I could; 'I've had quite
+enough sport for my first day's tiger-hunting. I think I'll go back now,
+and write a newspaper account of this little adventure.'
+
+'You have had luck,' he put in. 'Not everyone kills a tiger his first
+day out. This will make good reading.'
+
+'I wouldn't have missed it for a hundred pounds,' I answered.
+
+'Then try another.'
+
+'I wouldn't try another for a thousand,' I cried, fervently. That
+evening, at the palace, I was the heroine of the day. They toasted me in
+a bumper of Heidsieck's dry monopole. The men made speeches. Everybody
+talked gushingly of my splendid courage and my steadiness of hand. It
+was a brilliant shot, under such difficult circumstances. For myself, I
+said nothing. I pretended to look modest. I dared not confess the
+truth--that I never fired at all. And from that day to this I have never
+confessed it, till I write it down now in these confiding memoirs.
+
+[Illustration: IT'S I WHO AM THE WINNAH.]
+
+One episode cast a gloom over my ill-deserved triumph. In the course of
+the evening, a telegram arrived for the pea-green young man by a
+white-turbaned messenger. He read it, and crumpled it up carelessly in
+his hand. I looked inquiry. 'Yaas,' he answered, nodding. 'You're quite
+right. It's that! Pooah old Marmy has gone, aftah all! Ezekiel and
+Habakkuk have carried off his sixteen stone at last! And I don't mind
+telling yah now--though it was a neah thing--it's _I_ who am the
+winnah!'
+
+
+
+
+X
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE CROSS-EYED Q.C.
+
+
+The 'cold weather,' as it is humorously called, was now drawing to a
+close, and the young ladies in sailor hats and cambric blouses, who
+flock to India each autumn for the annual marriage-market, were
+beginning to resign themselves to a return to England--unless, of
+course, they had succeeded in 'catching.' So I realised that I must
+hurry on to Delhi and Agra, if I was not to be intercepted by the
+intolerable summer.
+
+When we started from Moozuffernuggar for Delhi and the East, Lord
+Southminster was starting for Bombay and Europe. This surprised me not a
+little, for he had confided to my unsympathetic ear a few nights
+earlier, in the Maharajah's billiard-room, that he was 'stony broke,'
+and must wait at Moozuffernuggar for lack of funds 'till the oof-bird
+laid' at his banker's in England. His conversation enlarged my
+vocabulary, at any rate.
+
+'So you've managed to get away?' I exclaimed, as he dawdled up to me at
+the hot and dusty station.
+
+'Yaas,' he drawled, fixing his eye-glass, and lighting a cigarette.
+'I've--p'f--managed to get away. Maharaj seems to have thought--p'f--it
+would be cheepah in the end to pay me out than to keep me.'
+
+'You don't mean to say he offered to lend you money?' I cried.
+
+'No; not exactly that: _I_ offahed to borrow it.'
+
+'From the man you call a nigger?'
+
+His smile spread broader over his face than ever. 'Well, we borrow from
+the Jews, yah know,' he said pleasantly, 'so why the jooce shouldn't we
+borrow from the heathen also? Spoiling the Egyptians, don't yah
+see?--the same as we used to read about in the Scripchah when we were
+innocent kiddies. Like marriage, quite. You borrow in haste--and repay
+at leisure.'
+
+He strolled off and took his seat. I was glad to get rid of him at the
+main line junction.
+
+In accordance with my usual merciful custom, I spare you the details of
+our visit to Agra, Muttra, Benares. At Calcutta, Elsie left me. Her
+health was now quite restored, dear little soul-- I felt I had done that
+one good thing in life if no other--and she could no longer withstand
+the higher mathematics, which were beckoning her to London with
+invisible fingers. For myself, having so far accomplished my original
+design of going round the world with twopence in my pocket, I could not
+bear to draw back at half the circuit; and Mr. Elworthy having willingly
+consented to my return by Singapore and Yokohama, I set out alone on my
+homeward journey.
+
+[Illustration: HE WROTE, I EXPECT YOU TO COME BACK TO ENGLAND AND MARRY
+ME.]
+
+Harold wrote me from London that all was going well. He had found the
+will which I drew up at Florence in his uncle's escritoire, and
+everything was left to him; but he trusted, in spite of this untoward
+circumstance, long absence might have altered my determination. 'Dear
+Lois,' he wrote, 'I _expect_ you to come back to England and marry me!'
+
+I was brief, but categorical. Nothing, meanwhile, had altered my
+resolve. I did not wish to be considered mercenary. While he was rich
+and honoured, I could never take him. If, some day, fortune
+frowned--but, there--let us not forestall the feet of calamity: let us
+await contingencies.
+
+Still, I was heavy in heart. If only it had been otherwise! To say the
+truth, I should be thrown away on a millionaire; but just think what a
+splendid managing wife a girl like me would have made for a penniless
+pauper!
+
+At Yokohama, however, while I dawdled in curiosity shops, a telegram
+from Harold startled me into seriousness. My chance at last! I knew what
+it meant; that villain Higginson!
+
+'Come home at once. I want your evidence to clear my character.
+Southminster opposes the will as a forgery. He has a strong case; the
+experts are with him.'
+
+Forgery! That was clever. I never thought of that. I suspected them of
+trying to forge a will of their own; but to upset the real one--to throw
+the burden of suspicion on Harold's shoulders--how much subtler and
+craftier!
+
+I saw at a glance it gave them every advantage. In the first place, it
+put Harold virtually in the place of the accused, and compelled him to
+defend instead of attacking--an attitude which prejudices people against
+one from the outset. Then, again, it implied positive criminality on his
+part, and so allowed Lord Southminster to assume the air of injured
+innocence. The eldest son of the eldest brother, unjustly set aside by
+the scheming machinations of an unscrupulous cousin! Primogeniture, the
+ingrained English love for keeping up the dignity of a noble family, the
+prejudice in favour of the direct male line as against the female--all
+were astutely utilised in Lord Southminster's interest. But worst of
+all, it was _I_ who had typewritten the will--I, a friend of Harold's, a
+woman whom Lord Southminster would doubtless try to exhibit as his
+_fiancee_. I saw at once how much like conspiracy it looked: Harold and
+I had agreed together to concoct a false document, and Harold had forged
+his uncle's signature to it. Could a British jury doubt when a Lord
+declared it?
+
+Fortunately, I was just in time to catch the Canadian steamer from Japan
+to Vancouver. But, oh, the endless breadth of that broad Pacific! How
+time seemed to lag, as each day one rose in the morning, in the midst of
+space; blue sky overhead; behind one, the hard horizon; in front of one,
+the hard horizon; and nothing else visible: then steamed on all day, to
+arrive at night, where?--why, in the midst of space; starry sky
+overhead; behind one, the dim horizon; in front of one, the dim horizon;
+and nothing else visible. The Nile was child's play to it.
+
+[Illustration: IT WAS ENDLESSLY WEARISOME.]
+
+Day after day we steamed, and night after night were still where we
+began--in the centre of the sea, no farther from our starting-point, no
+nearer to our goal, yet for ever steaming. It was endlessly wearisome;
+who could say what might be happening meanwhile in England?
+
+At last, after months, as it seemed, of this slow torture, we reached
+Vancouver. There, in the raw new town, a telegram awaited me. 'Glad to
+hear you are coming. Make all haste. You may be just in time to arrive
+for the trial.'
+
+Just in time! I would not waste a moment. I caught the first train on
+the Canadian Pacific, and travelled straight through, day and night, to
+Montreal and Quebec, without one hour's interval.
+
+I cannot describe to you that journey across a continent I had never
+before seen. It was endless and hopeless. I only know that we crawled up
+the Rocky Mountains and the Selkirk Range, over spider-like viaducts,
+with interminable effort, and that the prairies were just the broad
+Pacific over again. They rolled on for ever. But we did reach Quebec--in
+time we reached it; and we caught by an hour the first liner to
+Liverpool.
+
+At Prince's Landing-stage another telegram awaited me. 'Come on
+at once. Case now proceeding. Harold is in court. We need your
+evidence.--GEORGINA FAWLEY.'
+
+I might still be in time to vindicate Harold's character.
+
+At Euston, to my surprise, I was met not only by my dear cantankerous
+old lady, but also by my friend, the magnificent Maharajah, dressed this
+time in a frock-coat and silk hat of Bond Street glossiness.
+
+'What has brought you to England?' I asked, astonished. 'The Jubilee?'
+
+He smiled, and showed his two fine rows of white teeth. 'That,
+nominally. In reality, the cricket season (I play for Berks). But most
+of all, to see dear Tillington safe through this trouble.'
+
+'He's a brick!' Lady Georgina cried with enthusiasm. 'A regular brick,
+my dear Lois! His carriage is waiting outside to take you up to my
+house. He has stood by Harold--well, like a Christian!'
+
+'Or a Hindu,' the Maharajah corrected, smiling.
+
+'And how have you been all this time, dear Lady Georgina?' I asked,
+hardly daring to inquire about what was nearest to my soul--Harold.
+
+The cantankerous old lady knitted her brows in a familiar fashion. 'Oh,
+my dear, don't ask: I haven't known a happy hour since you left me in
+Switzerland. Lois, I shall never be happy again without you! It would
+pay me to give you a retaining fee of a thousand a year--honour bright,
+it would, I assure you. What I've suffered from the Gretchens since
+you've been in the East has only been equalled by what I've suffered
+from the Mary Annes and the Celestines. Not a hair left on my scalp; not
+one hair, I declare to you. They've made my head into a _tabula rasa_
+for the various restorers. George R. Sims and Mrs. S. A. Allen are going
+to fight it out between them. My dear, I wish _you_ could take my maid's
+place; I've always said----'
+
+I finished the speech for her. 'A lady can do better whatever she turns
+her hand to than any of these hussies.'
+
+She nodded. 'And why? Because her hands _are_ hands; while as for the
+Gretchens and the Mary Annes, "paws" is the only word one can honestly
+apply to them. Then, on top of it all comes this trouble about Harold.
+So distressing, isn't it? You see, at the point which the matter has
+reached, it's simply impossible to save Harold's reputation without
+wrecking Southminster's. Pretty position that for a respectable family!
+The Ashursts hitherto have been _quite_ respectable: a co-respondent or
+two, perhaps, but never anything serious. Now, either Southminster sends
+Harold to prison, or Harold sends Southminster. There's a nice sort of
+dilemma! I always knew Kynaston's boys were born fools; but to find
+they're born knaves, too, is hard on an old woman in her hairless
+dotage. However, _you've_ come, my child, and _you'll_ soon set things
+right. You're the one person on earth I can trust in this matter.'
+
+Harold go to prison! My head reeled at the thought. I staggered out into
+the open air, and took my seat mechanically in the Maharajah's carriage.
+All London swam before me. After so many months' absence, the
+polychromatic decorations of our English streets, looming up through the
+smoke, seemed both strange and familiar. I drove through the first half
+mile with a vague consciousness that Lipton's tea is the perfection of
+cocoa and matchless for the complexion, but that it dyes all colours,
+and won't wash clothes.
+
+After a while, however, I woke up to the full terror of the situation.
+'Where are you taking me?' I inquired.
+
+'To my house, dear,' Lady Georgina answered, looking anxiously at me;
+for my face was bloodless.
+
+'No, that won't do,' I answered. 'My cue must be now to keep myself as
+aloof as possible from Harold and Harold's backers. I must put up at an
+hotel. It will sound so much better in cross-examination.'
+
+'She's quite right,' the Maharajah broke in, with sudden conviction.
+'One must block every ball with these nasty swift bowlers.'
+
+'Where's Harold?' I asked, after another pause. 'Why didn't he come to
+meet me?'
+
+'My dear, how could he? He's under examination. A cross-eyed Q.C. with
+an odious leer. Southminster's chosen the biggest bully at the Bar to
+support his contention.'
+
+'Drive to some hotel in the Jermyn Street district,' I cried to the
+Maharajah's coachman. 'That will be handy for the law courts.'
+
+He touched his hat and turned. In a sort of dickey behind sat two
+gorgeous-turbaned Rajput servants.
+
+That evening Harold came round to visit me at my rooms. I could see he
+was much agitated. Things had gone very badly. Lady Georgina was there;
+she had stopped to dine with me, dear old thing, lest I should feel
+lonely and give way; so had Elsie Petheridge. Mr. Elworthy sent a
+telegram of welcome from Devonshire. I knew at least that my friends
+were rallying round me in this hour of trial. The kind Maharajah himself
+would have come too, if I had allowed him, but I thought it inexpedient.
+They explained everything to me. Harold had propounded Mr. Ashurst's
+will--the one I drew up at Florence--and had asked for probate. Lord
+Southminster intervened and opposed the grant of probate on the ground
+that the signatures were forgeries. He propounded instead another will,
+drawn some twenty years earlier, when they were both children, duly
+executed at the time, and undoubtedly genuine; in it, testator left
+everything without reserve to the eldest son of his eldest brother, Lord
+Kynaston.
+
+'Marmy didn't know in those days that Kynaston's sons would all grow up
+fools,' Lady Georgina said tartly. 'Besides which, that was before the
+poor dear soul took to plunging on the Stock Exchange and made his
+money. He had nothing to leave then but his best silk hat and a few
+paltry hundreds. Afterwards, when he'd feathered his nest in soap and
+cocoa, he discovered that Bertie--that's Lord Southminster--was a
+first-class idiot. Marmy never liked Southminster, nor Southminster
+Marmy. For after all, with all his faults, Marmy _was_ a gentleman;
+while Bertie--well, my dear, we needn't put a name to it. So he altered
+his will, as you know, when he saw the sort of man Southminster turned
+out, and left practically everything he possessed to Harold.'
+
+'Who are the witnesses to the will?' I asked.
+
+'There's the trouble. Who do you think? Why, Higginson's sister, who was
+Marmy's _masseuse_, and a waiter--Franz Markheim--at the hotel at
+Florence, who's dead they say--or, at least, not forthcoming.'
+
+'And Higginson's sister forswears her signature,' Harold added gloomily;
+'while the experts are, most of them, dead against the genuineness of my
+uncle's.'
+
+'That's clever,' I said, leaning back, and taking it in slowly.
+'Higginson's sister! How well they've worked it. They couldn't prevent
+Mr. Ashurst from making this will, but they managed to supply their own
+tainted witnesses! If it had been Higginson himself now, he'd have had
+to be cross-examined; and in cross-examination, of course, we could have
+shaken his credit, by bringing up the episodes of the Count de
+Laroche-sur-Loiret and Dr. Fortescue-Langley. But his sister! What's she
+like? Have you anything against her?'
+
+'My dear,' Lady Georgina cried, 'there the rogue has bested us. Isn't it
+just like him? What do you suppose he has done? Why, provided himself
+with a sister of tried respectability and blameless character.'
+
+'And she denies that it is her handwriting?' I asked.
+
+'Declares on her Bible oath she never signed the document.'
+
+I was fairly puzzled. It was a stupendously clever dodge. Higginson must
+have trained up his sister for forty years in the ways of wickedness,
+yet held her in reserve for this supreme moment.
+
+'And where is Higginson?' I asked.
+
+Lady Georgina broke into a hysterical laugh. 'Where is he, my dear?
+That's the question. With consummate strategy, the wretch has
+disappeared into space at the last moment.'
+
+'That's artful again,' I said. 'His presence could only damage their
+case. I can see, of course, Lord Southminster has no need of him.'
+
+'Southminster's the wiliest fool that ever lived,' Harold broke out
+bitterly. 'Under that mask of imbecility, he's a fox for trickiness.'
+
+I bit my lip. 'Well, if you succeed in evading him,' I said, 'you will
+have cleared your character. And if you don't--then, Harold, our time
+will have come: you will have your longed-for chance of trying me.'
+
+'That won't do me much good,' he answered, 'if I have to wait fourteen
+years for you--at Portland.'
+
+[Illustration: THE CROSS-EYED Q.C. BEGGED HIM TO BE VERY CAREFUL.]
+
+Next morning, in court, I heard Harold's cross-examination. He described
+exactly where he had found the contested will in his uncle's escritoire.
+The cross-eyed Q.C., a heavy man with bloated features and a bulbous
+nose, begged him, with one fat uplifted forefinger, to be very careful.
+How did he know where to look for it?
+
+'Because I knew the house well: I knew where my uncle was likely to keep
+his valuables.'
+
+'Oh, indeed; _not_ because you had put it there?'
+
+The court rang with laughter. My face grew crimson.
+
+After an hour or two of fencing, Harold was dismissed. He stood down,
+baffled. Counsel recalled Lord Southminster.
+
+The pea-green young man, stepping briskly up, gazed about him,
+open-mouthed, with a vacant stare. The look of cunning on his face was
+carefully suppressed. He wore, on the contrary, an air of injured
+innocence combined with an eye-glass.
+
+'_You_ did not put this will in the drawer where Mr. Tillington found
+it, did you?' counsel asked.
+
+The pea-green young man laughed. 'No, I certainly didn't put it theah.
+My cousin Harold was man in possession. He took jolly good care _I_
+didn't come neah the premises.'
+
+'Do you think you could forge a will if you tried?'
+
+Lord Southminster laughed. 'No, I don't,' he answered, with a
+well-assumed _naivete_. 'That's just the difference between us, don't
+yah know. _I'm_ what they call a fool, and my cousin Harold's a precious
+clevah fellah.'
+
+There was another loud laugh.
+
+'That's not evidence,' the judge observed, severely.
+
+It was not. But it told far more than much that was. It told strongly
+against Harold.
+
+'Besides,' Lord Southminster continued, with engaging frankness, 'if I
+forged a will at all, I'd take jolly good care to forge it in my own
+favah.'
+
+My turn came next. Our counsel handed me the incriminated will. 'Did you
+draw up this document?' he asked.
+
+I looked at it closely. The paper bore our Florentine water-mark, and
+was written with a Spread-Eagle. 'I type-wrote it,' I answered, gazing
+at it with care to make sure I recognised it.
+
+Our counsel's business was to uphold the will, not to cast aspersions
+upon it. He was evidently annoyed at my close examination. 'You have no
+doubts about it?' he said, trying to prompt me.
+
+I hesitated. 'No, no doubts,' I answered, turning over the sheet and
+inspecting it still closer. 'I type-wrote it at Florence.'
+
+'Do you recognise that signature as Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's?' he went
+on.
+
+I stared at it. Was it his? It was like it, certainly. Yet that _k_? and
+those _s_'s? I almost wondered.
+
+Counsel was obviously annoyed at my hesitation. He thought I was playing
+into the enemy's hands. 'Is it his, or is it not?' he inquired again,
+testily.
+
+'It is his,' I answered. Yet I own I was troubled.
+
+[Illustration: I WAS A GROTESQUE FAILURE.]
+
+He asked many questions about the circumstances of the interview when I
+took down the will. I answered them all. But I vaguely felt he and I
+were at cross-purposes. I grew almost as uncomfortable under his gaze as
+if he had been examining me in the interest of the other side. He
+managed to fluster me. As a witness for Harold, I was a grotesque
+failure.
+
+Then the cross-eyed Q.C., rising and shaking his huge bulk, began to
+cross-examine me. 'Where did you type-write this thing, do you say?' he
+said, pointing to it contemptuously.
+
+'In my office at Florence.'
+
+'Yes, I understand; you had an office in Florence--after you gave up
+retailing bicycles on the public roads; and you had a partner, I
+think--a Miss Petherick, or Petherton, or Pennyfarthing, or something?'
+
+'Miss Petheridge,' I corrected, while the Court tittered.
+
+'Ah, Petheridge, you call it! Well, now answer this question carefully.
+Did your Miss Petheridge hear Mr. Ashurst dictate the terms of his last
+will and testament?'
+
+'No,' I answered. 'The interview was of a strictly confidential
+character. Mr. Ashurst took me aside into the back room at our office.'
+
+'Oh, he took you aside? Confidential? Well, now we're getting at it. And
+did anybody but yourself see or hear any part whatsoever of this
+precious document?'
+
+'Certainly not,' I replied. 'It was a private matter.'
+
+'Private! oh, very! Nobody else saw it. Did Mr. Ashurst take it away
+from the office in person?'
+
+'No; he sent his courier for it.'
+
+'His courier? The man Higginson?'
+
+'Yes; but I refused to give it to Higginson. I took it myself that night
+to the hotel where Mr. Ashurst was stopping.'
+
+'Ah! You took it yourself. So the only other person who knows anything
+at first hand about the existence of the alleged will is this person
+Higginson?'
+
+'Miss Petheridge knows,' I said, flushing. 'At the time, I told her of
+it.'
+
+'Oh, _you_ told her. Well, that doesn't help us much. If what you are
+swearing isn't true--remember, you are on your oath--what you told Miss
+Petherick or Petheridge or Pennyfarthing, "at the time," can hardly be
+regarded as corroborative evidence. Your word then and your word now are
+just equally valuable--or equally worthless. The only person who knows
+besides yourself is Higginson. Now, I ask you, _where_ is Higginson?
+_Are_ you going to produce him?'
+
+The wicked cunning of it struck me dumb. They were keeping him away, and
+then using his absence to cast doubts on my veracity. 'Stop,' I cried,
+taken aback, 'Higginson is well known to be a rogue, and he is keeping
+away lest he may damage your side. I know nothing of Higginson.'
+
+'Yes, I'm coming to that in good time. Don't be afraid that we're going
+to pass over Higginson. You admit this man is a man of bad character.
+Now, what do you know of him?'
+
+I told the stories of the Count and of Dr. Fortescue-Langley.
+
+The cross-eyed cross-examiner leant across towards me and leered. 'And
+this is the man,' he exclaimed, with a triumphant air, 'whose sister you
+pretended you had got to sign this precious document of yours?'
+
+'Whom Mr. Ashurst got to sign it,' I answered, red-hot. 'It is not _my_
+document.'
+
+'And you have heard that she swears it is not her signature at all?'
+
+'So they tell me. She is Higginson's sister. For all I know, she may be
+prepared to swear, or to forswear, anything.'
+
+'Don't cast doubt upon our witnesses without cause! Miss Higginson is an
+eminently respectable woman. You gave this document to Mr. Ashurst, you
+say. There your knowledge of it ends. A signature is placed on it which
+is not his, as our experts testify. It purports to be witnessed by a
+Swiss waiter, who is not forthcoming, and who is asserted to be dead, as
+well as by a nurse who denies her signature. And the only other person
+who knows of its existence before Mr. Tillington "discovers" it in his
+uncle's desk is--the missing man Higginson. Is that, or is it not, the
+truth of the matter?'
+
+'I suppose so,' I said, baffled.
+
+'Well, now, as to this man Higginson. He first appears upon the scene,
+so far as you are concerned, on the day when you travelled from London
+to Schlangenbad?'
+
+'That is so,' I answered.
+
+'And he nearly succeeded then in stealing Lady Georgina Fawley's
+jewel-case?'
+
+'He nearly took it, but I saved it.' And I explained the circumstance.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C. held his fat sides with his hands, looking
+incredulously at me, and smiled. His vast width of waistcoat shook with
+silent merriment. 'You are a very clever young lady,' he murmured. 'You
+can explain away anything. But don't you think it just as likely that it
+was a plot between you two, and that owing to some mistake the plot came
+off unsuccessful?'
+
+'I do not,' I cried, crimson. 'I never saw the Count before that
+morning.'
+
+He tried another tack. 'Still, wherever you went, this man
+Higginson--the only other person, you admit, who knows about the
+previous existence of the will--turned up simultaneously. He was always
+turning up--at the same place as you did. He turned up at Lucerne, as a
+faith-healer, didn't he?'
+
+'If you will allow me to explain,' I cried, biting my lip.
+
+He bowed, all blandness. 'Oh, certainly,' he murmured. 'Explain away
+everything!'
+
+I explained, but of course he had discounted and damaged my explanation.
+
+He made no comment. 'And then,' he went on, with his hands on his hips,
+and his obtrusive rotundity, 'he turned up at Florence, as courier to
+Mr. Ashurst, at the very date when this so-called will was being
+concocted?'
+
+'He was at Florence when Mr. Ashurst dictated it to me,' I answered,
+growing desperate.
+
+'You admit he was in Florence. Good! Once more he turned up in India
+with my client, Lord Southminster, upon whose youth and inexperience he
+had managed to impose himself. And he carried him off, did he not, by
+one of these strange coincidences to which _you_ are peculiarly liable,
+on the very same steamer on which _you_ happened to be travelling?'
+
+'Lord Southminster told me he took Higginson with him because a rogue
+suited his book,' I answered, warmly.
+
+'Will you swear his lordship didn't say "_the_ rogue suited his
+book"--which is quite another thing?' the Q.C. asked blandly.
+
+'I will swear he did not,' I replied. 'I have correctly reported him.'
+
+'Then I congratulate you, young lady, on your excellent memory. My lud,
+will you allow me later to recall Lord Southminster to testify on this
+point?'
+
+The judge nodded.
+
+'Now, once more, as to your relations with the various members of the
+Ashurst family. You introduced yourself to Lady Georgina Fawley, I
+believe, quite casually, on a seat in Kensington Gardens?'
+
+'That is true,' I answered.
+
+'You had never seen her before?'
+
+'Never.'
+
+'And you promptly offered to go with her as her lady's maid to
+Schlangenbad in Germany?'
+
+'In place of her lady's maid, for one week,' I answered.
+
+'Ah; a delicate distinction! "In place of her lady's maid." You are a
+lady, I believe; an officer's daughter, you told us; educated at
+Girton?'
+
+'So I have said already,' I replied, crimson.
+
+'And you stick to it? By all means. Tell--the truth--and stick to it.
+It's always safest. Now, don't you think it was rather an odd thing for
+an officer's daughter to do--to run about Germany as maid to a lady of
+title?'
+
+[Illustration: THE JURY SMILED.]
+
+I tried to explain once more; but the jury smiled. You can't justify
+originality to a British jury. Why, they would send you to prison at
+once for that alone, if they made the laws as well as dispensing them.
+
+He passed on after a while to another topic. 'I think you have boasted
+more than once in society that when you first met Lady Georgina Fawley
+you had twopence in your pocket to go round the world with?'
+
+'I had,' I answered--'and I went round the world with it.'
+
+'Exactly. I'm getting there in time. With it--and other things. A few
+months later, more or less, you were touring up the Nile in your steam
+dahabeeah, and in the lap of luxury; you were taking saloon-carriages on
+Indian railways, weren't you?'
+
+I explained again. 'The dahabeeah was in the service of the _Daily
+Telephone_,' I answered. 'I became a journalist.'
+
+He cross-questioned me about that. 'Then I am to understand,' he said at
+last, leaning forward with all his waistcoat, 'that you sprang yourself
+upon Mr. Elworthy at sight, pretty much as you sprang yourself upon Lady
+Georgina Fawley?'
+
+'We arranged matters quickly,' I admitted. The dexterous wretch was
+making my strongest points all tell against me.
+
+'H'm! Well, he was a man: and you will admit, I suppose,' fingering his
+smooth fat chin, 'that you are a lady of--what is the stock phrase the
+reporters use?--considerable personal attractions?'
+
+'My Lord,' I said, turning to the Bench, 'I appeal to you. Has he the
+right to compel me to answer that question?'
+
+[Illustration: THE QUESTION REQUIRES NO ANSWER, HE SAID.]
+
+The judge bowed slightly. 'The question requires no answer,' he said,
+with a quiet emphasis. I burned bright scarlet.
+
+'Well, my lud, I defer to your ruling,' the cross-eyed cross-examiner
+continued, radiant. 'I go on to another point. When in India, I
+believe, you stopped for some time as a guest in the house of a native
+Maharajah.'
+
+'Is that matter relevant?' the judge asked, sharply.
+
+'My lud,' the Q.C. said, in his blandest voice, 'I am striving to
+suggest to the jury that this lady--the only person who ever beheld this
+so-called will till Mr. Harold Tillington--described in its terms as
+"Younger of Gledcliffe," whatever that may be--produced it out of his
+uncle's desk-- I am striving to suggest that this lady is--my duty to my
+client compels me to say--an adventuress.'
+
+He had uttered the word. I felt my character had not a leg left to stand
+upon before a British jury.
+
+'I went there with my friend, Miss Petheridge----' I began.
+
+'Oh, Miss Petheridge once more--you hunt in couples?'
+
+'Accompanied and chaperoned by a married lady, the wife of a Major
+Balmossie, on the Bombay Staff Corps.'
+
+'That was certainly prudent. One ought to be chaperoned. Can you produce
+the lady?'
+
+'How is it possible?' I cried. 'Mrs. Balmossie is in India.'
+
+'Yes; but the Maharajah, I understand, is in London?'
+
+'That is true,' I answered.
+
+'And he came to meet you on your arrival yesterday.'
+
+'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I cried, taken off my guard.
+
+'Do you not consider it curious,' he asked, 'that these Higginsons and
+these Maharajahs should happen to follow you so closely round the
+world?--should happen to turn up wherever you do?'
+
+'He came to be present at this trial,' I exclaimed.
+
+'And so did you. I believe he met you at Euston last night, and drove
+you to your hotel in his private carriage.'
+
+'With Lady Georgina Fawley,' I answered, once more.
+
+'And Lady Georgina is on Mr. Tillington's side, I fancy? Ah, yes, I
+thought so. And Mr. Tillington also called to see you; and likewise Miss
+Petherick-- I beg your pardon, Petheridge. We must be strictly
+accurate--where Miss Petheridge is concerned. And, in fact, you had
+quite a little family party.'
+
+'My friends were glad to see me back again,' I murmured.
+
+He sprang a fresh innuendo. 'But Mr. Tillington did not resent your
+visit to this gallant Maharajah?'
+
+'Certainly not,' I cried, bridling. 'Why should he?'
+
+'Oh, we're getting to that too. Now answer me this carefully. We want to
+find out what interest you might have, supposing a will were forged, on
+either side, in arranging its terms. We want to find out just who would
+benefit by it. Please reply to this question, yes or no, without
+prevarication. Are you or are you not conditionally engaged to Mr.
+Harold Tillington?'
+
+'If I might explain----' I began, quivering.
+
+He sneered. 'You have a genius for explaining, we are aware. Answer me
+first, yes or no; we will qualify afterward.'
+
+I glanced appealingly at the judge. He was adamant. 'Answer as counsel
+directs you, witness,' he said, sternly.
+
+'Yes, I am,' I faltered. 'But----'
+
+'Excuse me one moment. You promised to marry him conditionally upon the
+result of Mr. Ashurst's testamentary dispositions?'
+
+'I did,' I answered; 'but----'
+
+My explanation was drowned in roars of laughter, in which the judge
+joined, in spite of himself. When the mirth in court had subsided a
+little, I went on: 'I told Mr. Tillington I would only marry him in case
+he was poor and without expectations. If he inherited Mr. Marmaduke
+Ashurst's money, I could never be his wife,' I said it proudly.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C. drew himself up and let his rotundity take care of
+itself. 'Do you take me,' he inquired, 'for one of Her Majesty's
+horse-marines?'
+
+There was another roar of laughter--feebly suppressed by a judicial
+frown--and I slank away, annihilated.
+
+'You can go,' my persecutor said. 'I think we have got--well, everything
+we wanted from you. You promised to marry him, if all went ill! That is
+a delicate feminine way of putting it. Women like these equivocations.
+They relieve one from the onus of speaking frankly.'
+
+I stood down from the box, feeling, for the first time in my life,
+conscious of having scored an ignominious failure.
+
+Our counsel did not care to re-examine me; I recognised that it would be
+useless. The hateful Q.C. had put all my history in such an odious light
+that explanation could only make matters worse--it must savour of
+apology. The jury could never understand my point of view. It could
+never be made to see that there are adventuresses and adventuresses.
+
+Then came the final speeches on either side. Harold's advocate said the
+best he could in favour of the will our party propounded; but his best
+was bad; and what galled me most was this-- I could see he himself did
+not believe in its genuineness. His speech amounted to little more than
+a perfunctory attempt to put the most favourable face on a probable
+forgery.
+
+As for the cross-eyed Q.C., he rose to reply with humorous confidence.
+Swaying his big body to and fro, he crumpled our will and our case in
+his fat fingers like so much flimsy tissue-paper. Mr. Ashurst had made a
+disposition of his property twenty years ago--the right disposition, the
+natural disposition; he had left the bulk of it as childless English
+gentlemen have ever been wont to leave their wealth--to the eldest son
+of the eldest son of his family. The Honourable Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst, the testator, was the scion of a great house, which recent
+agricultural changes, he regretted to say, had relatively impoverished;
+he had come to the succour of that great house, as such a scion should,
+with his property acquired by honest industry elsewhere. It was fitting
+and reasonable that Mr. Ashurst should wish to see the Kynaston peerage
+regain, in the person of the amiable and accomplished young nobleman
+whom he had the honour to represent, some portion of its ancient dignity
+and splendour.
+
+But jealousy and greed intervened. (Here he frowned at Harold.) Mr.
+Harold Tillington, the son of one of Mr. Ashurst's married sisters, cast
+longing eyes, as he had tried to suggest to them, on his cousin Lord
+Southminster's natural heritage. The result, he feared, was an unnatural
+intrigue. Mr. Harold Tillington formed the acquaintance of a young
+lady--should we say young lady?--(he withered me with his glance)--well,
+yes, a lady, indeed, by birth and education, but an adventuress by
+choice--a lady who, brought up in a respectable, though not (he must
+admit) a distinguished sphere, had lowered herself by accepting the
+position of a lady's maid, and had trafficked in patent American cycles
+on the public high-roads of Germany and Switzerland. This clever and
+designing woman (he would grant her ability--he would grant her good
+looks) had fascinated Mr. Tillington--that was the theory he ventured to
+lay before the jury to-day; and the jury would see for themselves that
+whatever else the young lady might be, she had distinctly a certain
+outer gift of fascination. It was for them to decide whether Miss Lois
+Cayley had or had not suggested to Mr. Harold Tillington the design of
+substituting a forged will for Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's undeniable
+testament. He would point out to them her singular connection with the
+missing man Higginson, whom the young lady herself described as a rogue,
+and from whom she had done her very best to dissociate herself in this
+court--but ineffectually. Wherever Miss Cayley went, the man Higginson
+went independently. Such frequent recurrences, such apt juxtapositions
+could hardly be set down to mere accidental coincidence.
+
+He went on to insinuate that Higginson and I had concocted the disputed
+will between us; that we had passed it on to our fellow-conspirator,
+Harold; and that Harold had forged his uncle's signature to it, and had
+appended those of the two supposed witnesses. But who, now, were these
+witnesses? One, Franz Markheim, was dead or missing; dead men tell no
+tales: the other was obviously suggested by Higginson. It was his own
+sister. Perhaps he forged her name to the document. Doubtless he thought
+that family feeling would induce her, when it came to the pinch, to
+accept and endorse her brother's lie; nay, he might even have been
+foolish enough to suppose that this cock-and-bull will would not be
+disputed. If so, he and his master had reckoned without Lord
+Southminster, a gentleman who concealed beneath the careless exterior of
+a man of fashion the solid intelligence of a man of affairs, and the
+hard head of a man not to be lightly cheated in matters of business.
+
+The alleged will had thus not a leg to stand upon. It was 'typewritten'
+(save the mark!) 'from dictation' at Florence, by whom? By the lady who
+had most to gain from its success--the lady who was to be transformed
+from a shady adventuress, tossed about between Irish doctors and Hindu
+Maharajahs, into the lawful wife of a wealthy diplomatist of noble
+family, on one condition only--if this pretended will could be
+satisfactorily established. The signatures were forgeries, as shown by
+the expert evidence, and also by the oath of the one surviving witness.
+
+The will left all the estate--practically--to Mr. Harold Tillington, and
+five hundred pounds to whom?--why, to the accomplice Higginson. The
+minor bequests the Q.C. regarded as ingenious inventions, pure play of
+fancy, 'intended to give artistic verisimilitude,' as Pooh-Bah says in
+the opera, 'to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.' The fads,
+it was true, were known fads of Mr. Ashurst's: but what sort of fads?
+Bimetallism? Anglo-Israel? No, braces and shoe-horns--clearly the kind
+that would best be known to a courier like Higginson, the sole begetter,
+he believed, of this nefarious conspiracy.
+
+The cross-eyed Q.C., lifting his fat right hand in solemn adjuration,
+called upon the jury confidently to set aside this ridiculous
+fabrication, and declare for a will of undoubted genuineness, a will
+drawn up in London by a firm of eminent solicitors, and preserved ever
+since by the testator's bankers. It would then be for his lordship to
+decide whether in the public interest he should recommend the Crown to
+prosecute on a charge of forgery the clumsy fabricator of this
+preposterous document.
+
+The judge summed up--strongly in favour of Lord Southminster's will. If
+the jury believed the experts and Miss Higginson, one verdict alone was
+possible. The jury retired for three minutes only. It was a foregone
+conclusion. They found for Lord Southminster. The judge, looking grave,
+concurred in their finding. A most proper verdict. And he considered it
+would be the duty of the Public Prosecutor to pursue Mr. Harold
+Tillington on the charge of forgery.
+
+[Illustration: I REELED WHERE I SAT.]
+
+I reeled where I sat. Then I looked round for Harold.
+
+He had slipped from the court, unseen, during counsel's address, some
+minutes earlier!
+
+That distressed me more than anything else on that dreadful day. I
+wished he had stood up in his place like a man to face this vile and
+cruel conspiracy.
+
+I walked out slowly, supported by Lady Georgina, who was as white as a
+ghost herself, but very straight and scornful. 'I always knew
+Southminster was a fool,' she said aloud; 'I always knew he was a sneak;
+but I did not know till now he was also a particularly bad type of
+criminal.'
+
+On the steps of the court, the pea-green young man met us. His air was
+jaunty. 'Well, I was right, yah see,' he said, smiling and withdrawing
+his cigarette. 'You backed the wrong fellah! I told you I'd win. I won't
+say moah now; this is not the time or place to recur to that subject;
+but, by-and-by, you'll come round; you'll think bettah of it still;
+you'll back the winnah!'
+
+I wished I were a man, that I might have the pleasure of kicking him.
+
+We drove back to my hotel and waited for Harold. To my horror and alarm,
+he never came near us. I might almost have doubted him--if he had not
+been Harold.
+
+I waited and waited. He did not come at all. He sent no word, no
+message. And all that evening we heard the newsboys shouting at the top
+of their voice in the street, 'Extra Speshul! the Ashurst Will Kise;
+Sensational Developments' 'Mysterious Disappearance of Mr. 'Arold
+Tillington.'
+
+
+
+
+XI
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE ORIENTAL ATTENDANT
+
+
+I did not sleep that night. Next morning, I rose very early from a
+restless bed with a dry, hot mouth, and a general feeling that the solid
+earth had failed beneath me.
+
+Still no news from Harold! It was cruel, I thought. My faith almost
+flagged. He was a man and should be brave. How could he run away and
+hide himself at such a time? Even if I set my own anxiety aside, just
+think to what serious misapprehension it laid him open!
+
+I sent out for the morning papers. They were full of Harold. Rumours,
+rumours, rumours! Mr. Tillington had deliberately chosen to put himself
+in the wrong by disappearing mysteriously at the last moment. He had
+only himself to blame if the worst interpretation were put upon his
+action. But the police were on his track; Scotland Yard had 'a clue': it
+was confidently expected an arrest would be made before evening at
+latest. As to details, authorities differed. The officials of the Great
+Western Railway at Paddington were convinced that Mr. Tillington had
+started, alone and undisguised, by the night express for Exeter. The
+South-Eastern inspectors at Charing Cross, on the other hand, were
+equally certain that he had slipped away with a false beard, in company
+with his 'accomplice' Higginson, by the 8.15 P.M. to Paris. Everybody
+took it for granted, however, that he had left London.
+
+Conjecture played with various ultimate destinations--Spain, Morocco,
+Sicily, the Argentine. In Italy, said the _Chronicle_, he might lurk for
+a while--he spoke Italian fluently, and could manage to put up at tiny
+_osterie_ in out-of-the-way places seldom visited by Englishmen. He
+might try Albania, said the _Morning Post_, airing its exclusive
+'society' information: he had often hunted there, and might in turn be
+hunted. He would probably attempt to slink away to some remote spot in
+the Carpathians or the Balkans, said the _Daily News_, quite proud of
+its geography. Still, wherever he went, leaden-footed justice in this
+age, said the _Times_, must surely overtake him. The day of universal
+extradition had dawned; we had no more Alsatias: even the Argentine
+itself gives up its rogues--at last; not an asylum for crime remains in
+Europe, not a refuge in Asia, Africa, America, Australia, or the Pacific
+Islands.
+
+I noted with a shudder of horror that all the papers alike took his
+guilt as certain. In spite of a few decent pretences at not prejudging
+an untried cause, they treated him already as the detected criminal, the
+fugitive from justice. I sat in my little sitting-room at the hotel in
+Jermyn Street, a limp rag, looking idly out of the window with swimming
+eyes, and waiting for Lady Georgina. It was early, too early, but--oh,
+why didn't she come! Unless _somebody_ soon sympathised with me, my
+heart would break under this load of loneliness!
+
+Presently, as I looked out on the sloppy morning street, I was vaguely
+aware through the mist that floated before my dry eyes (for tears were
+denied me) of a very grand carriage driving up to the doorway--the porch
+with the four wooden Ionic pillars. I took no heed of it. I was too
+heart-sick for observation. My life was wrecked, and Harold's with it.
+Yet, dimly through the mist, I became conscious after a while that the
+carriage was that of an Indian prince; I could see the black faces, the
+white turbans, the gold brocades of the attendants in the dickey. Then
+it came home to me with a pang that this was the Maharajah.
+
+It was kindly meant; yet after all that had been insinuated in court the
+day before, I was by no means over-pleased that his dusky Highness
+should come to call upon me. Walls have eyes and ears. Reporters were
+hanging about all over London, eager to distinguish themselves by
+successful eavesdropping. They would note, with brisk innuendoes after
+their kind, how 'the Maharajah of Moozuffernuggar called early in the
+day on Miss Lois Cayley, with whom he remained for at least half an hour
+in close consultation.' I had half a mind to send down a message that I
+could not see him. My face still burned with the undeserved shame of the
+cross-eyed Q.C.'s unspeakable suggestions.
+
+Before I could make my mind up, however, I saw to my surprise that the
+Maharajah did not propose to come in himself. He leaned back in his
+place with his lordly Eastern air, and waited, looking down on the
+gapers in the street, while one of the two gorgeous attendants in the
+dickey descended obsequiously to receive his orders. The man was dressed
+as usual in rich Oriental stuffs, and wore his full white turban swathed
+in folds round his head. I could not see his features. He bent forward
+respectfully with Oriental suppleness to take his Highness's orders.
+Then, receiving a card and bowing low, he entered the porch with the
+wooden Ionic pillars, and disappeared within, while the Maharajah folded
+his hands and seemed to resign himself to a temporary Nirvana.
+
+[Illustration: THE MESSENGER ENTERED.]
+
+A minute later, a knock sounded on my door. 'Come in!' I said, faintly;
+and the messenger entered.
+
+I turned and faced him. The blood rushed to my cheek. 'Harold!' I cried,
+darting forward. My joy overcame me. He folded me in his arms. I allowed
+him, unreproved. For the first time he kissed me. I did not shrink from
+it.
+
+Then I stood away a little and gazed at him. Even at that crucial moment
+of doubt and fear, I could not help noticing how admirably he made up
+as a handsome young Rajput. Three years earlier, at Schlangenbad, I
+remembered he had struck me as strangely Oriental-looking: he had the
+features of a high-born Indian gentleman, without the complexion. His
+large, poetical eyes, his regular, oval face, his even teeth, his mouth
+and moustache, all vaguely recalled the highest type of the Eastern
+temperament. Now, he had blackened his face and hands with some
+permanent stain--Indian ink, I learned later--and the resemblance to a
+Rajput chief was positively startling. In his gold brocade and ample
+white turban, no passer-by, I felt sure, would ever have dreamt of
+doubting him.
+
+'Then you knew me at once?' he said, holding my face between his hands.
+'That's bad, darling! I flattered myself I had transformed my face into
+the complete Indian.'
+
+'Love has sharp eyes,' I answered. 'It can see through brick walls. But
+the disguise is perfect. No one else would detect you.'
+
+'Love is blind, I thought.'
+
+'Not where it ought to see. There, it pierces everything. I knew you
+instantly, Harold. But all London, I am sure, would pass you by,
+unknown. You are absolute Orient.'
+
+'That's well; for all London is looking for me,' he answered, bitterly.
+'The streets bristle with detectives. Southminster's knaveries have won
+the day. So I have tried this disguise. Otherwise, I should have been
+arrested the moment the jury brought in their verdict.'
+
+'And why were you not?' I asked, drawing back. 'Oh, Harold, I trust
+you; but why did you disappear and make all the world believe you
+admitted yourself guilty?'
+
+He opened his arms. 'Can't you guess?' he cried, holding them out to
+me.
+
+I nestled in them once more; but I answered through my tears--I had
+found tears now--'No Harold; it baffles me.'
+
+'You remember what you promised me?' he murmured, leaning over me and
+clasping me. 'If ever I were poor, friendless, hunted--you would marry
+me. Now the opportunity has come when we can both prove ourselves.
+To-day, except you and dear Georgey, I haven't a friend in the world.
+Everyone else has turned against me. Southminster holds the field. I am
+a suspected forger; in a very few days I shall doubtless be a convicted
+felon. Unjustly, as you know; yet still--we must face it--a convicted
+felon. So I have come to claim you. I have come to ask you now, in this
+moment of despair, will you keep your promise?'
+
+I lifted my face to his. He bent over it trembling. I whispered the
+words in his ear. 'Yes, Harold, I will keep it. I have always loved you.
+And now I will marry you.'
+
+'I knew you would!' he cried, and pressed me to his bosom.
+
+We sat for some minutes, holding each other's hands, and saying nothing;
+we were too full of thought for words. Then suddenly, Harold roused
+himself. 'We must make haste, darling,' he cried. 'We are keeping Partab
+outside, and every minute is precious, every minute's delay dangerous.
+We ought to go down at once. Partab's carriage is waiting at the door
+for us.'
+
+'Go down?' I exclaimed, clinging to him. 'How? Why? I don't understand.
+What is your programme?'
+
+'Ah, I forgot I hadn't explained to you! Listen here, dearest--quick; I
+can waste no words over it. I said just now I had no friends in the
+world but you and Georgey. That's not true, for dear old Partab has
+stuck to me nobly. When all my English friends fell away, the Rajput
+was true to me. He arranged all this; it was his own idea; he foresaw
+what was coming. He urged me yesterday, just before the verdict (when he
+saw my acquaintances beginning to look askance), to slip quietly out of
+court, and make my way by unobtrusive roads to his house in Curzon
+Street. There, he darkened my face like his, and converted me to
+Hinduism. I don't suppose the disguise will serve me for more than a day
+or two; but it will last long enough for us to get safely away to
+Scotland.'
+
+'Scotland?' I murmured. 'Then you mean to try a Scotch marriage?'
+
+'It is the only thing possible. We must be married to-day, and in
+England, of course, we cannot do it. We would have to be called in
+church, or else to procure a license, either of which would involve
+disclosure of my identity. Besides, even the license would keep us
+waiting about for a day or two. In Scotland, on the other hand, we can
+be married at once. Partab's carriage is below, to take you to King's
+Cross. He is staunch as steel, dear fellow. Do you consent to go with
+me?'
+
+My faculty for promptly making up such mind as I possess stood me once
+more in good stead. 'Implicitly,' I answered. 'Dear Harold, this
+calamity has its happy side--for without it, much as I love you, I could
+never have brought myself to marry you!'
+
+'One moment,' he cried. 'Before you go, recollect, this step is
+irrevocable. You will marry a man who may be torn from you this evening,
+and from whom fourteen years of prison may separate you.'
+
+'I know it,' I cried, through my tears. 'But-- I shall be showing my
+confidence in you, my love for you.'
+
+He kissed me once more, fervently. 'This makes amends for all,' he
+cried. 'Lois, to have won such a woman as you, I would go through it all
+a thousand times over. It was for this, and for this alone, that I hid
+myself last night. I wanted to give you the chance of showing me how
+much, how truly you loved me.'
+
+'And after we are married?' I asked, trembling.
+
+'I shall give myself up at once to the police in Edinburgh.'
+
+I clung to him wistfully. My heart half urged me to urge him to escape.
+But I knew that was wrong. 'Give yourself up, then,' I said, sobbing.
+'It is a brave man's place. You must stand your trial; and, come what
+will, I will strive to bear it with you.'
+
+'I knew you would,' he cried. 'I was not mistaken in you.'
+
+We embraced again, just once. It was little enough after those years of
+waiting.
+
+'Now, come!' he cried. 'Let us go.'
+
+I drew back. 'Not with you, dearest,' I whispered. 'Not in the
+Maharajah's carriage. You must start by yourself. I will follow you at
+once, to King's Cross, in a hansom.'
+
+He saw I was right. It would avoid suspicion, and it would prevent more
+scandal. He withdrew without a word. 'We meet,' I said, 'at ten, at
+King's Cross Station.'
+
+I did not even wait to wash the tears from my eyes. All red as they
+were, I put on my hat and my little brown travelling jacket. I don't
+think I so much as glanced once at the glass. The seconds were precious.
+I saw the Maharajah drive away, with Harold in the dickey, arms crossed,
+imperturbable, Orientally silent. He looked the very counterpart of the
+Rajput by his side. Then I descended the stairs and walked out boldly.
+As I passed through the hall, the servants and the visitors stared at me
+and whispered. They spoke with nods and liftings of the eyebrows. I was
+aware that that morning I had achieved notoriety.
+
+At Piccadilly Circus, I jumped of a sudden into a passing hansom.
+'King's Cross!' I cried, as I mounted the step. 'Drive quick! I have no
+time to spare.' And, as the man drove off, I saw, by a convulsive dart
+of someone across the road, that I had given the slip to a disappointed
+reporter.
+
+At the station I took a first-class ticket for Edinburgh. On the
+platform, the Maharajah and his attendants were waiting. He lifted his
+hat to me, though otherwise he took no overt notice. But I saw his keen
+eyes follow me down the train. Harold, in his Oriental dress, pretended
+not to observe me. One or two porters, and a few curious travellers,
+cast inquiring eyes on the Eastern prince, and made remarks about him to
+one another. 'That's the chap as was up yesterday in the Ashurst will
+kise!' said one lounger to his neighbour. But nobody seemed to look at
+Harold; his subordinate position secured him from curiosity. The
+Maharajah had always two Eastern servants, gorgeously dressed, in
+attendance; he had been a well-known figure in London society, and at
+Lord's and the Oval, for two or three seasons.
+
+'Bloomin' fine cricketer!' one porter observed to his mate as he passed.
+
+'Yuss; not so dusty for a nigger,' the other man replied. 'Fust-rite
+bowler; but, Lord, he can't 'old a candle to good old Ranji.'
+
+As for myself, nobody seemed to recognise me. I set this fact down to
+the fortunate circumstance that the evening papers had published rough
+wood-cuts which professed to be my portrait, and which naturally led the
+public to look out for a brazen-faced, raw-boned, hard-featured
+termagant.
+
+I took my seat in a ladies' compartment by myself. As the train was
+about to start, Harold strolled up as if casually for a moment. 'You
+think it better so?' he queried, without moving his lips or seeming to
+look at me.
+
+'Decidedly,' I answered. 'Go back to Partab. Don't come near me again
+till we get to Edinburgh. It is dangerous still. The police may at any
+moment hear we have started and stop us half-way; and now that we have
+once committed ourselves to this plan it would be fatal to be
+interrupted before we have got married.'
+
+'You are right,' he cried; 'Lois, you are always right, somehow.'
+
+I wished I could think so myself; but 'twas with serious misgivings that
+I felt the train roll out of the station.
+
+Oh, that long journey north, alone, in a ladies' compartment--with the
+feeling that Harold was so near, yet so unapproachable: it was an
+endless agony. _He_ had the Maharajah, who loved and admired him, to
+keep him from brooding; but I, left alone, and confined with my own
+fears, conjured up before my eyes every possible misfortune that Heaven
+could send us. I saw clearly now that if we failed in our purpose this
+journey would be taken by everyone for a flight, and would deepen the
+suspicion under which we both laboured. It would make me still more
+obviously a conspirator with Harold.
+
+Whatever happened, we must strain every nerve to reach Scotland in
+safety, and then to get married, in order that Harold might immediately
+surrender himself.
+
+[Illustration: HE TOOK A LONG, CARELESS STARE AT ME.]
+
+At York, I noticed with a thrill of terror that a man in plain clothes,
+with the obtrusively unobtrusive air of a detective, looked carefully
+though casually into every carriage. I felt sure he was a spy, because
+of his marked outer jauntiness of demeanour, which hardly masked an
+underlying hang-dog expression of scrutiny. When he reached my place,
+he took a long, careless stare at me--a seemingly careless stare, which
+was yet brim-full of the keenest observation. Then he paced slowly along
+the line of carriages, with a glance at each, till he arrived just
+opposite the Maharajah's compartment. There he stared hard once more.
+The Maharajah descended; so did Harold and the Hindu attendant, who was
+dressed just like him. The man I took for a detective indulged in a
+frank, long gaze at the unconscious Indian prince, but cast only a hasty
+eye on the two apparent followers. That touch of revelation relieved my
+mind a little. I felt convinced the police were watching the Maharajah
+and myself, as suspicious persons connected with the case; but they had
+not yet guessed that Harold had disguised himself as one of the two
+invariable Rajput servants.
+
+We steamed on northward. At Newcastle, the same detective strolled, with
+his hands in his pockets, along the train once more, and puffed a cigar
+with the nonchalant air of a sporting gentleman. But I was certain now,
+from the studious unconcern he was anxious to exhibit, that he must be a
+spy upon us. He overdid his mood of careless observation. It was too
+obvious an assumption. Precisely the same thing happened again when we
+pulled up at Berwick. I knew now that we were watched. It would be
+impossible for us to get married at Edinburgh if we were thus closely
+pursued. There was but one chance open; we must leave the train abruptly
+at the first Scotch stopping station.
+
+The detective knew we were booked through for Edinburgh. So much I could
+tell, because I saw him make inquiries of the ticket examiner at York,
+and again at Berwick, and because the ticket-examiner thereupon entered
+a mental note of the fact as he punched my ticket each time: 'Oh,
+Edinburgh, miss? All right'; and then stared at me suspiciously. I could
+tell he had heard of the Ashurst will case. He also lingered long about
+the Maharajah's compartment, and then went back to confer with the
+detective. Thus, putting two and two together, as a woman will, I came
+to the conclusion that the spy did not expect us to leave the train
+before we reached Edinburgh. That told in our favour. Most men trust
+much to just such vague expectations. They form a theory, and then
+neglect the adverse chances. You can only get the better of a skilled
+detective by taking him thus, psychologically and humanly.
+
+By this time, I confess, I felt almost like a criminal. Never in my life
+had danger loomed so near--not even when we returned with the Arabs from
+the oasis. For then we feared for our lives alone; now, we feared for
+our honour.
+
+I drew a card from my case before we left Berwick station, and scribbled
+a few hasty words on it in German. 'We are watched. A detective! If we
+run through to Edinburgh, we shall doubtless be arrested or at least
+impeded. This train will stop at Dunbar for one minute. Just before it
+leaves again, get out as quietly as you can--at the last moment. I will
+also get out and join you. Let Partab go on; it will excite less
+attention. The scheme I suggest is the only safe plan. If you agree, as
+soon as we have well started from Berwick, shake your handkerchief
+unobtrusively out of your carriage window.'
+
+[Illustration: I BECKONED A PORTER.]
+
+I beckoned a porter noiselessly without one word. The detective was now
+strolling along the fore-part of the train, with his back turned towards
+me, peering as he went into all the windows. I gave the porter a
+shilling. 'Take this to a black gentleman in the next carriage but one,'
+I said, in a confidential whisper. The porter touched his hat, nodded,
+smiled, and took it.
+
+Would Harold see the necessity for acting on my advice?-- I wondered. I
+gazed out along the train as soon as we had got well clear of Berwick. A
+minute--two minutes--three minutes passed; and still no handkerchief. I
+began to despair. He was debating, no doubt. If he refused, all was
+lost, and we were disgraced for ever.
+
+At last, after long waiting, as I stared still along the whizzing line,
+with the smoke in my eyes, and the dust half blinding me, I saw, to my
+intense relief, a handkerchief flutter. It fluttered once, not markedly,
+then a black hand withdrew it. Only just in time, for even as it
+disappeared, the detective's head thrust itself out of a farther window.
+He was not looking for anything in particular, as far as I could
+tell--just observing the signals. But it gave me a strange thrill to
+think even now we were so nearly defeated.
+
+My next trouble was--would the train draw up at Dunbar? The 10 A.M. from
+King's Cross is not set down to stop there in Bradshaw, for no
+passengers are booked to or from the station by the day express; but I
+remembered from of old when I lived at Edinburgh, that it used always to
+wait about a minute for some engine-driver's purpose. This doubt filled
+me with fresh fear; did it draw up there still?--they have accelerated
+the service so much of late years, and abolished so many old accustomed
+stoppages. I counted the familiar stations with my breath held back.
+They seemed so much farther apart than usual. Reston--Grant's
+House--Cockburnspath--Innerwick.
+
+The next was Dunbar. If we rolled past _that_, then all was lost. We
+could never get married. I trembled and hugged myself.
+
+The engine screamed. Did that mean she was running through? Oh, how I
+wished I had learned the interpretation of the signals!
+
+Then gradually, gently, we began to slow. Were we slowing to pass the
+station only? No; with a jolt she drew up. My heart gave a bound as I
+read the word 'Dunbar' on the station notice-board.
+
+I rose and waited, with my fingers on the door. Happily it had one of
+those new-fashioned slip-latches which open from inside. No need to
+betray myself prematurely to the detective by a hand displayed on the
+outer handle. I glanced out at him cautiously. His head was thrust
+through his window, and his sloping shoulders revealed the spy, but he
+was looking the other way--observing the signals, doubtless, to discover
+why we stopped at a place not mentioned in Bradshaw.
+
+Harold's face just showed from another window close by. Too soon or too
+late might either of them be fatal. He glanced inquiry at me. I nodded
+back, 'Now!' The train gave its first jerk, a faint backward jerk,
+indicative of the nascent intention of starting. As it braced itself to
+go on, I jumped out; so did Harold. We faced one another on the platform
+without a word. 'Stand away there:' the station-master cried, in an
+angry voice. The guard waved his green flag. The detective, still
+absorbed on the signals, never once looked back. One second later, we
+were safe at Dunbar, and he was speeding away by the express for
+Edinburgh.
+
+It gave us a breathing space of about an hour.
+
+[Illustration: YOU CAN'T GET OUT HERE, HE SAID, CRUSTILY.]
+
+For half a minute I could not speak. My heart was in my mouth. I hardly
+even dared to look at Harold. Then the station-master stalked up to us
+with a threatening manner. 'You can't get out here,' he said, crustily,
+in a gruff Scotch voice. 'This train is not timed to set down before
+Edinburgh.'
+
+'We _have_ got out,' I answered, taking it upon me to speak for my
+fellow-culprit, the Hindu--as he was to all seeming. 'The logic of facts
+is with us. We were booked through to Edinburgh, but we wanted to stop
+at Dunbar; and as the train happened to pull up, we thought we needn't
+waste time by going on all that way and then coming back again.'
+
+'Ye should have changed at Berwick,' the station-master said, still
+gruffly, 'and come on by the slow train.' I could see his careful
+Scotch soul was vexed (incidentally) at our extravagance in paying the
+extra fare to Edinburgh and back again.
+
+In spite of agitation, I managed to summon up one of my sweetest
+smiles--a smile that ere now had melted the hearts of rickshaw coolies
+and of French _douaniers_. He thawed before it visibly. 'Time was
+important to us,' I said--oh, he guessed not how important; 'and
+besides, you know, it is so good for the company!'
+
+'That's true,' he answered, mollified. He could not tilt against the
+interests of the North British shareholders. 'But how about yer luggage?
+It'll have gone on to Edinburgh, I'm thinking.'
+
+'We _have_ no luggage,' I answered boldly.
+
+He stared at us both, puckered his brow a moment, and then burst out
+laughing. 'Oh, ay, I see,' he answered, with a comic air of amusement.
+'Well, well, it's none of my business, no doubt, and I will not
+interfere with ye; though why a lady like you----' He glanced curiously
+at Harold.
+
+I saw he had guessed right, and thought it best to throw myself
+unreservedly on his mercy. Time was indeed important. I glanced at the
+station clock. It was not very far from the stroke of six, and we must
+manage to get married before the detective could miss us at Edinburgh,
+where he was due at 6.30.
+
+So I smiled once more, that heart-softening smile. 'We have each our own
+fancies,' I said blushing--and, indeed (such is the pride of race among
+women), I felt myself blush in earnest at the bare idea that I was
+marrying a black man, in spite of our good Maharajah's kindness. 'He is
+a gentleman, and a man of education and culture.' I thought that
+recommendation ought to tell with a Scotchman. 'We are in sore straits
+now, but our case is a just one. Can you tell me who in this place is
+most likely to sympathise--most likely to marry us?'
+
+He looked at me--and surrendered at discretion. 'I should think anybody
+would marry ye who saw yer pretty face and heard yer sweet voice,' he
+answered. 'But, perhaps, ye'd better present yerself to Mr. Schoolcraft,
+the U.P. minister at Little Kirkton. He was aye soft-hearted.'
+
+'How far from here?' I asked.
+
+'About two miles,' he answered.
+
+'Can we get a trap?'
+
+'Oh ay, there's machines always waiting at the station.'
+
+[Illustration: WE TOLD OUR TALE.]
+
+We interviewed a 'machine,' and drove out to Little Kirkton. There, we
+told our tale in the fewest words possible to the obliging and
+good-natured U.P. minister. He looked, as the station-master had said,
+'soft-hearted'; but he dashed our hopes to the ground at once by telling
+us candidly that unless we had had our residence in Scotland for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the marriage, it would not be
+legal. 'If you were Scotch,' he added, 'I could go through the ceremony
+at once, of course; and then you could apply to the sheriff to-night for
+leave to register the marriage in proper form afterward: but as one of
+you is English, and the other I judge'--he smiled and glanced towards
+Harold--'an Indian-born subject of Her Majesty, it would be impossible
+for me to do it: the ceremony would be invalid, under Lord Brougham's
+Act, without previous residence.'
+
+This was a terrible blow. I looked away appealingly. 'Harold,' I cried
+in despair, 'do you think we could manage to hide ourselves safely
+anywhere in Scotland for twenty-one days?'
+
+His face fell. 'How could I escape notice? All the world is hunting for
+me. And then the scandal! No matter where you stopped--however far from
+me--no, Lois darling, I could never expose you to it.'
+
+The minister glanced from one to the other of us, puzzled. 'Harold?' he
+said, turning over the word on his tongue. 'Harold? That doesn't sound
+like an Indian name, does it? And----' he hesitated, 'you speak
+wonderful English!'
+
+I saw the safest plan was to make a clean breast of it. He looked the
+sort of man one could trust on an emergency. 'You have heard of the
+Ashurst will case?' I said, blurting it out suddenly.
+
+'I have seen something about it in the newspapers; yes. But it did not
+interest me: I have not followed it.'
+
+I told him the whole truth; the case against us--the facts as we knew
+them. Then I added, slowly, 'This is Mr. Harold Tillington, whom they
+accuse of forgery. Does he look like a forger? I want to marry him
+before he is tried. It is the only way by which I can prove my implicit
+trust in him. As soon as we are married, he will give himself up at once
+to the police--if you wish it, before your eyes. But married we must be.
+_Can't_ you manage it somehow?'
+
+My pleading voice touched him. 'Harold Tillington?' he murmured. 'I know
+of his forebears. Lady Guinevere Tillington's son, is it not? Then you
+must be Younger of Gledcliffe.' For Scotland is a village: everyone in
+it seems to have heard of every other.'
+
+'What does he mean?' I asked. 'Younger of Gledcliffe?' I remembered now
+that the phrase had occurred in Mr. Ashurst's will, though I never
+understood it.
+
+'A Scotch fashion,' Harold answered. 'The heir to a laird is called
+Younger of so-and-so. My father has a small estate of that name in
+Dumfriesshire; a _very_ small estate: I was born and brought up there.'
+
+'Then you are a Scotchman?' the minister asked.
+
+'Yes,' Harold answered frankly: 'by remote descent. We are trebly of the
+female line at Gledcliffe; still, I am no doubt more or less Scotch by
+domicile.'
+
+'Younger of Gledcliffe! Oh, yes, that ought certainly to be quite
+sufficient for our purpose. Do you live there?'
+
+'I have been living there lately. I always live there when I'm in
+Britain. It is my only home. I belong to the diplomatic service.'
+
+'But then--the lady?'
+
+'She is unmitigatedly English,' Harold admitted, in a gloomy voice.
+
+'Not quite,' I answered. 'I lived four years in Edinburgh. And I spent
+my holidays there while I was at Girton. I keep my boxes still at my old
+rooms in Maitland Street.'
+
+'Oh, that will do,' the minister answered, quite relieved; for it was
+clear that our anxiety and the touch of romance in our tale had enlisted
+him in our favour. 'Indeed, now I come to think of it, it suffices for
+the Act if one only of the parties is domiciled in Scotland. And as Mr.
+Tillington lives habitually at Gledcliffe, that settles the question.
+Still, I can do nothing save marry you now by religious service in the
+presence of my servants--which constitutes what we call an
+ecclesiastical marriage--it becomes legal if afterwards registered; and
+then you must apply to the sheriff for a warrant to register it. But I
+will do what I can; later on, if you like, you can be re-married by the
+rites of your own Church in England.'
+
+'Are you quite sure our Scotch domicile is good enough in law?' Harold
+asked, still doubtful.
+
+'I can turn it up, if you wish. I have a legal handbook. Before Lord
+Brougham's Act, no formalities were necessary. But the Act was passed to
+prevent Gretna Green marriages. The usual phrase is that such a marriage
+does not hold good unless one or other of the parties either has had his
+or her usual residence in Scotland, or else has lived there for
+twenty-one days immediately preceding the date of the marriage. If you
+like, I will wait to consult the authorities.'
+
+'No, thank you,' I cried. 'There is no time to lose. Marry us first, and
+look it up afterwards. "One or other" will do, it seems. Mr. Tillington
+is Scotch enough, I am sure; he has no address in Britain but
+Gledcliffe: we will rest our claim upon that. Even if the marriage turns
+out invalid, we only remain where we were. This is a preliminary
+ceremony to prove good faith, and to bind us to one another. We can
+satisfy the law, if need be, when we return to England.'
+
+The minister called in his wife and servants, and explained to them
+briefly. He exhorted us and prayed. We gave our solemn consent in legal
+form before two witnesses. Then he pronounced us duly married. In a
+quarter of an hour more, we had made declaration to that effect before
+the sheriff, the witnesses accompanying us, and were formally affirmed
+to be man and wife before the law of Great Britain. I asked if it would
+hold in England as well.
+
+'You couldn't be firmer married,' the sheriff said, with decision, 'by
+the Archbishop of Canterbury in Westminster Abbey.'
+
+Harold turned to the minister. 'Will you send for the police?' he said,
+calmly. 'I wish to inform them that I am the man for whom they are
+looking in the Ashurst will case.'
+
+Our own cabman went to fetch them. It was a terrible moment. But Harold
+sat in the sheriff's study and waited, as if nothing unusual were
+happening. He talked freely but quietly. Never in my life had I felt so
+proud of him.
+
+At last the police came, much inflated with the dignity of so great a
+capture, and took down our statement. 'Do you give yourself in charge on
+a confession of forgery?' the superintendent asked, as Harold ended.
+
+'Certainly not,' Harold answered. 'I have not committed forgery. But I
+do not wish to skulk or hide myself. I understand a warrant is out
+against me in London. I have come to Scotland, hurriedly, for the sake
+of getting married, not to escape apprehension. I am here, openly,
+under my own name. I tell you the facts; 'tis for you to decide; if you
+choose, you can arrest me.'
+
+The superintendent conferred for some time in another room with the
+sheriff. Then he returned to the study. 'Very well, sir,' he said, in a
+respectful tone, 'I arrest you.'
+
+So that was the beginning of our married life. More than ever, I felt
+sure I could trust in Harold.
+
+The police decided, after hearing by telegram from London, that we must
+go up at once by the night express, which they stopped for the purpose.
+They were forced to divide us. I took the sleeping-car; Harold travelled
+with two constables in a ordinary carriage. Strange to say,
+notwithstanding all this, so great was our relief from the tension of
+our flight, that we both slept soundly.
+
+Next morning we arrived in London, Harold guarded. The police had
+arranged that the case should come up at Bow Street that afternoon. It
+was not an ideal honeymoon, and yet, I was somehow happy.
+
+At King's Cross, they took him away from me. Still, I hardly cried. All
+the way up in the train, whenever I was awake, an idea had been haunting
+me--a possible clue to this trickery of Lord Southminster's. Petty
+details cropped up and fell into their places. I began to unravel it all
+now. I had an inkling of a plan to set Harold right again.
+
+The will we had proved----but I must not anticipate.
+
+When we parted, Harold kissed me on the forehead, and murmured rather
+sadly, 'Now, I suppose it's all up. Lois, I must go. These rogues have
+been too much for us.'
+
+[Illustration: I HAVE FOUND A CLUE.]
+
+'Not a bit of it,' I answered, new hope growing stronger and stronger
+within me. 'I see a way out. I have found a clue. I believe, dear
+Harold, the right will still be vindicated.'
+
+And red-eyed as I was, I jumped into a hansom, and called to the cabman
+to drive at once to Lady Georgina's.
+
+
+
+
+XII
+
+THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNPROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE
+
+
+'Is Lady Georgina at home?' The discreet man-servant in sober black
+clothes eyed me suspiciously. 'No, miss,' he answered. 'That is to
+say--no, ma'am. Her ladyship is still at Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst's--the
+late Mr. Marmaduke Ashurst, I mean--in Park Lane North. You know the
+number, ma'am?'
+
+'Yes, I know it,' I replied, with a gasp; for this was indeed a triumph.
+My one fear had been lest Lord Southminster should already have taken
+possession--why, you will see hereafter; and it relieved me to learn
+that Lady Georgina was still at hand to guard my husband's interests.
+She had been living at the house, practically, since her brother's
+death. I drove round with all speed, and flung myself into my dear old
+lady's arms.
+
+'Kiss me,' I cried, flushed. 'I am your niece!' But she knew it already,
+for our movements had been fully reported by this time (with picturesque
+additions) in the morning papers. Imagination, ill-developed in the
+English race, seems to concentrate itself in the lower order of
+journalists.
+
+She kissed me on both cheeks with unwonted tenderness. 'Lois,' she
+cried, with tears in her eyes, 'you're a brick!' It was not exactly
+poetical at such a moment, but from her it meant more than much gushing
+phraseology.
+
+'And you're here in possession!' I murmured.
+
+[Illustration: I'VE HELD THE FORT BY MAIN FORCE.]
+
+The Cantankerous Old Lady nodded. She was in her element, I must admit.
+She dearly loved a row--above all, a family row; but to be in the thick
+of a family row, and to feel herself in the right, with the law against
+her--that was joy such as Lady Georgina had seldom before experienced.
+'Yes, dear,' she burst out volubly, 'I'm in possession, thank Heaven.
+And what's more, they won't oust me without a legal process. I've been
+here, off and on, you know, ever since poor dear Marmy died, looking
+after things for Harold; and I shall look after them still, till Bertie
+Southminster succeeds in ejecting me, which won't be easy. Oh, I've held
+the fort by main force, I can tell you; held it like a Trojan. Bertie's
+in a precious great hurry to move in, I can see; but I won't allow him.
+He's been down here this morning, fatuously blustering, and trying to
+carry the post by storm, with a couple of policemen.'
+
+'Policemen!' I cried. 'To turn you out?'
+
+'Yes, my dear, policemen: but (the Lord be praised) I was too much for
+him. There are legal formalities to fulfil yet; and I won't budge an
+inch, Lois, not one inch, my dear, till he's fulfilled every one of
+them. Mark my words, child, that boy's up to some devilry.'
+
+'He is,' I answered.
+
+'Yes, he wouldn't be in such a rampaging hurry to get in--being as lazy
+as he's empty-headed--takes after Gwendoline in that--if he hadn't some
+excellent reason for wishing to take possession: and depend upon it, the
+reason is that he wants to get hold of something or other that's
+Harold's. But he sha'n't if I can help it; and, thank my stars, I'm a
+dour woman to reckon with. If he comes, he comes over my old bones,
+child. I've been overhauling everything of Marmy's, I can tell you, to
+checkmate the boy if I can; but I've found nothing yet, and till I've
+satisfied myself on that point, I'll hold the fort still, if I have to
+barricade that pasty-faced scoundrel of a nephew of mine out by piling
+the furniture against the front door-- I will, as sure as my name's
+Georgina Fawley!'
+
+'I know you will, dear,' I assented, kissing her, 'and so I shall
+venture to leave you, while I go out to institute another little
+enquiry.'
+
+'What enquiry?'
+
+I shook my head. 'It's only a surmise,' I said, hesitating. 'I'll tell
+you about it later. I've had time to think while I've been coming back
+in the train, and I've thought of many things. Mount guard till I
+return, and mind you don't let Lord Southminster have access to
+anything.'
+
+'I'll shoot him first, dear.' And I believe she meant it.
+
+I drove on in the same cab to Harold's solicitor. There I laid my fresh
+doubts at once before him. He rubbed his bony hands. 'You've hit it!' he
+cried, charmed. 'My dear madam, you've hit it! I never did like that
+will. I never did like the signatures, the witnesses, the look of it.
+But what could I do? Mr. Tillington propounded it. Of course it wasn't
+my business to go dead against my own client.'
+
+'Then you doubted Harold's honour, Mr. Hayes?' I cried, flushing.
+
+[Illustration: NEVER! HE ANSWERED. NEVER!]
+
+'Never!' he answered. 'Never! I felt sure there must be some mistake
+somewhere, but not any trickery on--your husband's part. Now, _you_
+supply the right clue. We must look into this, immediately.'
+
+He hurried round with me at once in the same cab to the court. The
+incriminated will had been 'impounded,' as they call it; but, under
+certain restrictions, and subject to the closest surveillance, I was
+allowed to examine it with my husband's solicitor, before the eyes of
+the authorities. I looked at it long with the naked eye and also with a
+small pocket lens. The paper, as I had noted before, was the same kind
+of foolscap as that which I had been in the habit of using at my office
+in Florence; and the typewriting--was it mine? The longer I looked at
+it, the more I doubted it.
+
+After a careful examination I turned round to our solicitor. 'Mr.
+Hayes,' I said, firmly, having arrived at my conclusion, 'this is _not_
+the document I type-wrote at Florence.'
+
+'How do you know?' he asked. 'A different machine? Some small
+peculiarity in the shape of the letters?'
+
+'No, the rogue who typed this will was too cunning for that. He didn't
+allow himself to be foiled by such a scholar's mate. It is written with
+a Spread Eagle, the same sort of machine precisely as my own. I know the
+type perfectly. But----' I hesitated.
+
+'But what?'
+
+'Well, it is difficult to explain. There is character in typewriting,
+just as there is in handwriting, only, of course, not quite so much of
+it. Every operator is liable to his own peculiar tricks and blunders.
+If I had some of my own typewritten manuscript here to show you, I could
+soon make that evident.'
+
+'I can easily believe it. Individuality runs through all we do, however
+seemingly mechanical. But are the points of a sort that you could make
+clear in court to the satisfaction of a jury?'
+
+'I think so. Look here, for example. Certain letters get habitually
+mixed up in typewriting; _c_ and _v_ stand next one another on the
+keyboard of the machine, and the person who typed this draft sometimes
+strikes a _c_ instead of a _v_, or _vice versa_. I never do that. The
+letters I tend to confuse are _s_ and _w_, or else _e_ and _r_, which
+also come very near one another in the arbitrary arrangement. Besides,
+when I type-wrote the original of this will, I made no errors at all; I
+took such very great pains about it.'
+
+'And this person did make errors?'
+
+'Yes; struck the wrong letter first, and then corrected it often by
+striking another rather hard on top of it. See, this was a _v_ to begin
+with, and he turned it into a _c_. Besides, the hand that wrote this
+will is heavier than mine: it comes down _thump_, _thump_, _thump_,
+while mine glides lightly. And the hyphens are used with a space between
+them, and the character of the punctuation is not exactly as I make it.'
+
+'Still,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'we have nothing but your word. I'm afraid,
+in such a case, we could never induce a jury to accept your unsupported
+evidence.'
+
+'I don't want them to accept it,' I answered. 'I am looking this up for
+my own satisfaction. I want to know, first, who wrote this will. And of
+one thing I am quite clear: it is _not_ the document I drew up for Mr.
+Ashurst. Just look at that _x_. The _x_ alone is conclusive. My
+typewriter had the upper right-hand stroke of the small _x_ badly
+formed, or broken, while this one is perfect. I remember it well,
+because I used always to improve all my lower-case _x_'s with a pen when
+I re-read and corrected. I see their dodge clearly now. It is a most
+diabolical conspiracy. Instead of forging a will in Lord Southminster's
+favour, they have substituted a forgery for the real will, and then
+managed to make my poor Harold prove it.'
+
+'In that case, no doubt, they have destroyed the real one, the
+original,' Mr. Hayes put in.
+
+'I don't think so,' I answered, after a moment's deliberation. 'From
+what I know of Mr. Ashurst, I don't believe it is likely he would have
+left his will about carelessly anywhere. He was a secretive man, fond of
+mysteries and mystifications. He would be sure to conceal it. Besides,
+Lady Georgina and Harold have been taking care of everything in the
+house ever since he died.'
+
+'But,' Mr. Hayes objected, 'the forger of this document, supposing it to
+be forged, must have had access to the original, since you say the terms
+of the two are identical; only the signatures are forgeries. And if he
+saw and copied it, why might he not also have destroyed it?'
+
+A light flashed across me all at once. 'The forger _did_ see the
+original,' I cried, 'but not the fair copy. I have it all now! I detect
+their trick! It comes back to me vividly! When I had finished typing the
+copy at Florence from my first rough draft, which I had taken down on
+the machine before Mr. Ashurst's eyes, I remember now that I threw the
+original into the waste-paper basket. It must have been there that
+evening when Higginson called and asked for the will to take it back to
+Mr. Ashurst. He called for it, no doubt, hoping to open the packet
+before he delivered it and make a copy of the document for this very
+purpose. But I refused to let him have it. Before he saw me, however,
+he had been left by himself for ten minutes in the office; for I
+remember coming out to him and finding him there alone: and during that
+ten minutes, being what he is, you may be sure he fished out the rough
+draft and appropriated it!'
+
+[Illustration: WE SHALL HAVE HIM IN OUR POWER.]
+
+'That is more than likely,' my solicitor nodded. 'You are tracking him
+to his lair. We shall have him in our power.'
+
+I grew more and more excited as the whole cunning plot unravelled itself
+mentally step by step before me. 'He must then have gone to Lord
+Southminster,' I went on, 'and told him of the legacy he expected from
+Mr. Ashurst. It was five hundred pounds--a mere trifle to Higginson, who
+plays for thousands. So he must have offered to arrange matters for Lord
+Southminster if Southminster would consent to make good that sum and a
+great deal more to him. That odious little cad told me himself on the
+_Jumna_ they were engaged in pulling off "a big _coup_" between them. He
+thought then I would marry him, and that he would so secure my
+connivance in his plans; but who would marry such a piece of moist clay?
+Besides, I could never have taken anyone but Harold.' Then another clue
+came home to me. 'Mr. Hayes,' I cried, jumping at it, 'Higginson, who
+forged this will, never saw the real document itself at all; he saw only
+the draft: for Mr. Ashurst altered one word _viva voce_ in the original
+at the last moment, and I made a pencil note of it on my cuff at the
+time: and see, it isn't here, though I inserted it in the final clean
+copy of the will--the word 'especially.' It grows upon me more and more
+each minute that the real instrument is hidden somewhere in Mr.
+Ashurst's house--Harold's house--our house; and that _because_ it is
+there Lord Southminster is so indecently anxious to oust his aunt and
+take instant possession.'
+
+'In that case,' Mr. Hayes remarked, 'we had better go back to Lady
+Georgina without one minute's delay, and, while she still holds the
+house, institute a thorough search for it.'
+
+No sooner said than done. We jumped again into our cab and started. As
+we drove back, Mr. Hayes asked me where I thought we were most likely to
+find it.
+
+'In a secret drawer in Mr. Ashurst's desk,' I answered, by a flash of
+instinct, without a second's hesitation.
+
+'How do you know there's a secret drawer?'
+
+'I don't know it. I infer it from my general knowledge of Mr. Ashurst's
+character. He loved secret drawers, ciphers, cryptograms,
+mystery-mongering.'
+
+'But it was in that desk that your husband found the forged document,'
+the lawyer objected.
+
+Once more I had a flash of inspiration or intuition. 'Because White, Mr.
+Ashurst's valet, had it in readiness in his possession,' I answered,
+'and hid it there, in the most obvious and unconcealed place he could
+find, as soon as the breath was out of his master's body. I remember now
+Lord Southminster gave himself away to some extent in that matter. The
+hateful little creature isn't really clever enough, for all his
+cunning,--and with Higginson to back him,--to mix himself up in such
+tricks as forgery. He told me at Aden he had had a telegram from
+"Marmy's valet," to report progress; and he received another, the night
+Mr. Ashurst died, at Moozuffernuggar. Depend upon it, White was more or
+less in this plot; Higginson left him the forged will when they started
+for India; and, as soon as Mr. Ashurst died, White hid it where Harold
+was bound to find it.'
+
+'If so,' Mr. Hayes answered, 'that's well; we have something to go upon.
+The more of them, the better. There is safety in numbers--for the honest
+folk. I never knew three rogues hold long together, especially when
+threatened with a criminal prosecution. Their confederacy breaks down
+before the chance of punishment. Each tries to screen himself by
+betraying the others.'
+
+'Higginson was the soul of this plot,' I went on. 'Of that you may be
+sure. He's a wily old fox, but we'll run him to earth yet. The more I
+think of it, the more I feel sure, from what I know of Mr. Ashurst's
+character, he would never have put that will in so exposed a place as
+the one where Harold says he found it.'
+
+We drew up at the door of the disputed house just in time for the siege.
+Mr. Hayes and I walked in. We found Lady Georgina face to face with Lord
+Southminster. The opposing forces were still at the stage of
+preliminaries of warfare.
+
+'Look heah,' the pea-green young man was observing, in his drawling
+voice, as we entered; 'it's no use your talking, deah Georgey. This
+house is mine, and I won't have you meddling with it.'
+
+'This house is not yours, you odious little scamp,' his aunt retorted,
+raising her shrill voice some notes higher than usual; 'and while I can
+hold a stick you shall not come inside it.'
+
+'Very well, then; you drive me to hostilities, don't yah know. I'm sorry
+to show disrespect to your gray hairs--if any--but I shall be obliged to
+call in the police to eject yah.'
+
+'Call them in if you like,' I answered, interposing between them. 'Go
+out and get them! Mr. Hayes, while he's gone, send for a carpenter to
+break open the back of Mr. Ashurst's escritoire.'
+
+'A carpentah?' he cried, turning several degrees whiter than his pasty
+wont. 'What for? A carpentah?'
+
+I spoke distinctly. 'Because we have reason to believe Mr. Ashurst's
+real will is concealed in this house in a secret drawer, and because the
+keys were in the possession of White, whom we believe to be your
+accomplice in this shallow conspiracy.'
+
+He gasped and looked alarmed. 'No, you don't,' he cried, stepping
+briskly forward. 'You don't, I tell yah! Break open Marmy's desk! Why,
+hang it all, it's my property.'
+
+'We shall see about that after we've broken it open,' I answered grimly.
+'Here, this screw-driver will do. The back's not strong. Now, your help,
+Mr. Hayes--one, two, three; we can prise it apart between us.'
+
+Lord Southminster rushed up and tried to prevent us. But Lady Georgina,
+seizing both wrists, held him tight as in a vice with her dear skinny
+old hands. He writhed and struggled all in vain: he could not escape
+her. 'I've often spanked you, Bertie,' she cried, 'and if you attempt to
+interfere, I'll spank you again; that's the long and the short of it!'
+
+He broke from her and rushed out, to call the police, I believe, and
+prevent our desecration of pooah Marmy's property.
+
+[Illustration: VICTORY.]
+
+Inside the first shell were several locked drawers, and two or three
+open ones, out of one of which Harold had fished the false will.
+Instinct taught me somehow that the central drawer on the left-hand side
+was the compartment behind which lay the secret receptacle. I prised it
+apart and peered about inside it. Presently I saw a slip-panel, which I
+touched with one finger. The pigeon-hole flew open and disclosed a
+narrow slit I clutched at something--the will! Ho, victory! the will! I
+raised it aloft with a wild shout. Not a doubt of it! The real, the
+genuine document!
+
+We turned it over and read it. It was my own fair copy, written at
+Florence, and bearing all the small marks of authenticity about it which
+I had pointed out to Mr. Hayes as wanting to the forged and impounded
+document. Fortunately, Lady Georgina and four of the servants had stood
+by throughout this scene, and had watched our demeanour, as well as Lord
+Southminster's.
+
+We turned next to the signatures. The principal one was clearly Mr.
+Ashurst's-- I knew it at once--his legible fat hand, 'Marmaduke Courtney
+Ashurst.' And then the witnesses? They fairly took our breath away.
+
+'Why, Higginson's sister isn't one of them at all,' Mr. Hayes cried,
+astonished.
+
+A flush of remorse came over me. I saw it all now. I had misjudged that
+poor woman! She had the misfortune to be a rogue's sister, but, as
+Harold had said, was herself a most respectable and blameless person.
+Higginson must have forged her name to the document; that was all; and
+she had naturally sworn that she never signed it. He knew her honesty.
+It was a master-stroke of rascality.
+
+'The other one isn't here, either,' I exclaimed, growing more puzzled.
+'The waiter at the hotel! Why, that's another forgery! Higginson must
+have waited till the man was safely dead, and then used him similarly.
+It was all very clever. Now, who are these people who really witnessed
+it?'
+
+'The first one,' Mr. Hayes said, examining the handwriting, 'is Sir
+Roger Bland, the Dorsetshire baronet: he's dead, poor fellow; but he
+was at Florence at the time, and I can answer for his signature. He was
+a client of mine, and died at Mentone. The second is Captain Richards,
+of the Mounted Police: he's living still, but he's away in South
+Africa.'
+
+'Then they risked his turning up?'
+
+'If they knew who the real witnesses were at all--which is doubtful. You
+see, as you say, they may have seen the rough draft only.'
+
+'Higginson would know,' I answered. 'He was with Mr. Ashurst at Florence
+at the time, and he would take good care to keep a watch upon his
+movements. In my belief, it was he who suggested this whole plot to Lord
+Southminster.'
+
+'Of course it was,' Lady Georgina put in. 'That's absolutely certain.
+Bertie's a rogue as well as a fool: but he's too great a fool to invent
+a clever roguery, and too great a knave not to join in it foolishly when
+anybody else takes the pains to invent it.'
+
+'And it _was_ a clever roguery,' Mr. Hayes interposed. 'An ordinary
+rascal would have forged a later will in Lord Southminster's favour and
+run the risk of detection; Higginson had the acuteness to forge a will
+exactly like the real one, and to let your husband bear the burden of
+the forgery. It was as sagacious as it was ruthless.'
+
+'The next point,' I said, 'will be for us to prove it.'
+
+At that moment the bell rang, and one of the house-servants--all puzzled
+by this conflict of interests--came in with a telegram, which he handed
+me on a salver. I broke it open, without glancing at the envelope. Its
+contents baffled me: 'My address is Hotel Bristol, Paris; name as usual.
+Send me a thousand pounds on account at once. I can't afford to wait. No
+shillyshallying.'
+
+The message was unsigned. For a moment, I couldn't imagine who sent it,
+or what it was driving at.
+
+Then I took up the envelope. 'Viscount Southminster, 24 Park Lane North,
+London.'
+
+My heart gave a jump. I saw in a second that chance, or Providence, had
+delivered the conspirators into my hands that day. The telegram was from
+Higginson! I had opened it by accident.
+
+It was obvious what had happened. Lord Southminster must have written to
+him on the result of the trial, and told him he meant to take possession
+of his uncle's house immediately. Higginson had acted on that hint, and
+addressed his telegram where he thought it likely Lord Southminster
+would receive it earliest. I had opened it in error, and that, too, was
+fortunate, for even in dealing with such a pack of scoundrels, it would
+never have occurred to me to violate somebody else's correspondence had
+I not thought it was addressed to me. But having arrived at the truth
+thus unintentionally, I had, of course, no scruples about making full
+use of my information.
+
+I showed the despatch at once to Lady Georgina and Mr. Hayes. They
+recognised its importance. 'What next?' I inquired. 'Time presses. At
+half-past three Harold comes up for examination at Bow Street.'
+
+Mr. Hayes was ready with an apt expedient. 'Ring the bell for Mr.
+Ashurst's valet,' he said, quietly. 'The moment has now arrived when we
+can begin to set these conspirators by the ears. As soon as they learn
+that we know all, they will be eager to inform upon one another.'
+
+I rang the bell. 'Send up White,' I said. 'We wish to speak to him.'
+
+The valet stole up, self-accused, a timid, servile creature, rubbing his
+hands nervously, and suspecting mischief. He was a rat in trouble. He
+had thin brown hair, neatly brushed and plastered down, so as to make it
+look still thinner, and his face was the average narrow cunning face of
+the dishonest man-servant. It had an ounce of wile in it to a pound or
+two of servility. He seemed just the sort of rogue meanly to join in an
+underhand conspiracy, and then meanly to back out of it. You could read
+at a glance that his principle in life was to save his own bacon.
+
+[Illustration: YOU WISHED TO SEE ME, SIR?]
+
+He advanced, fumbling his hands all the time, and smiling and fawning.
+'You wished to see me, sir?' he murmured, in a deprecatory voice,
+looking sideways at Lady Georgina and me, but addressing the lawyer.
+
+'Yes, White, I wished to see you. I have a question to ask you. _Who_
+put the forged will in Mr. Ashurst's desk? Was it you, or some other
+person?'
+
+The question terrified him. He changed colour and gasped. But he rubbed
+his hands harder than ever and affected a sickly smile. 'Oh, sir, how
+should _I_ know, sir? _I_ had nothing to do with it. I suppose--it was
+Mr. Tillington.'
+
+Our lawyer pounced upon him like a hawk on a titmouse. 'Don't
+prevaricate with me, sir,' he said, sternly. 'If you do, it may be worse
+for you. This case has assumed quite another aspect. It is you and your
+associates who will be placed in the dock, not Mr. Tillington. You had
+better speak the truth; it is your one chance, I warn you. Lie to me,
+and instead of calling you as a witness for our case, I shall include
+you in the indictment.'
+
+White looked down uneasily at his shoes, and cowered. 'Oh, sir, I don't
+understand you.'
+
+'Yes you do. You understand me, and you know I mean it. Wriggling is
+useless; we intend to prosecute. We have unravelled this vile plot. We
+know the whole truth. Higginson and Lord Southminster forged a will
+between them----'
+
+'Oh, sir, _not_ Lord Southminster! His lordship, I'm sure----'
+
+Mr. Hayes's keen eye had noted the subtle shade of distinction and
+admission. But he said nothing openly. 'Well, then, Higginson forged,
+and Lord Southminster accepted, a false will, which purported to be Mr.
+Marmaduke Ashurst's. Now, follow me clearly. That will could not have
+been put into the escritoire during Mr. Ashurst's life, for there would
+have been risk of his discovering it. It must, therefore, have been put
+there afterward. The moment he was dead, you, or somebody else with your
+consent and connivance, slipped it into the escritoire; and you
+afterwards showed Mr. Tillington the place where you had set it or seen
+it set, leading him to believe it was Mr. Ashurst's will, and so
+involved him in all this trouble. Note that that was a felonious act. We
+accuse you of felony. Do you mean to confess, and give evidence on our
+behalf, or will you force me to send for a policeman to arrest you?'
+
+The cur hesitated still. 'Oh, sir,' drawing back, and fumbling his hands
+on his breast, 'you don't mean it.'
+
+Mr. Hayes was prompt. 'Hesslegrave, go for a policeman.'
+
+That curt sentence brought the rogue on his marrow-bones at once. He
+clasped his hands and debated inwardly. 'If I tell you all I know,' he
+said, at last, looking about him with an air of abject terror, as if he
+thought Lord Southminster or Higginson would hear him, 'will you promise
+not to prosecute me?' His tone became insinuating. 'For a hundred
+pounds, I could find the real will for you. You'd better close with me.
+To-day is the last chance. As soon as his lordship comes in, he'll hunt
+it up and destroy it.'
+
+I flourished it before him, and pointed with one hand to the broken
+desk, which he had not yet observed in his craven agitation.
+
+'We do not need your aid,' I answered. 'We have found the will,
+ourselves. Thanks to Lady Georgina, it is safe till this minute.'
+
+'And to me,' he put in, cringing, and trying after his kind, to curry
+favour with the winners at the last moment. 'It's all _my_ doing, my
+lady! I wouldn't destroy it. His lordship offered me a hundred pounds
+more to break open the back of the desk at night, while your ladyship
+was asleep, and burn the thing quietly. But I told him he might do his
+own dirty work if he wanted it done. It wasn't good enough while your
+ladyship was here in possession. Besides, I wanted the right will
+preserved, for I thought things might turn up so; and I wouldn't stand
+by and see a gentleman like Mr. Tillington, as has always behaved well
+to me, deprived of his inheritance.'
+
+'Which is why you conspired with Lord Southminster to rob him of it, and
+to send him to prison for Higginson's crime,' I interposed calmly.
+
+'Then you confess you put the forged will there?' Mr. Hayes said,
+getting to business.
+
+White looked about him helplessly. He missed his headpiece, the
+instigator of the plot. 'Well, it was like this, my lady,' he began,
+turning to Lady Georgina, and wriggling to gain time. 'You see, his
+lordship and Mr. Higginson----' he twirled his thumbs and tried to
+invent something plausible.
+
+Lady Georgina swooped. 'No rigmarole!' she said, sharply. 'Do you
+confess you put it there or do you not--reptile?' Her vehemence startled
+him.
+
+'Yes, I confess I put it there,' he said at last, blinking. 'As soon as
+the breath was out of Mr. Ashurst's body I put it there.' He began to
+whimper. 'I'm a poor man with a wife and family, sir,' he went on,
+'though in Mr. Ashurst's time I always kep' that quiet; and his lordship
+offered to pay me well for the job; and when you're paid well for a job
+yourself, sir----'
+
+Mr. Hayes waved him off with one imperious hand. 'Sit down in the corner
+there, man, and don't move or utter another word,' he said, sternly,
+'until I order you. You will be in time still for me to produce at Bow
+Street.'
+
+Just at that moment, Lord Southminster swaggered back, accompanied by a
+couple of unwilling policemen. 'Oh, I say,' he cried, bursting in and
+staring around him, jubilant. 'Look heah, Georgey, _are_ you going
+quietly, or must I ask these coppahs to evict you?' He was wreathed in
+smiles now, and had evidently been fortifying himself with brandies and
+soda.
+
+Lady Georgina rose in her wrath. 'Yes, I'll go if you wish it, Bertie,'
+she answered, with calm irony. 'I'll leave the house as soon as you
+like--for the present--till we come back again with Harold and _his_
+policemen to evict you. This house is Harold's. Your game is played,
+boy.' She spoke slowly. 'We have found the other will--we have
+discovered Higginson's present address in Paris--and we know from White
+how he and you arranged this little conspiracy.'
+
+[Illustration: WELL, THIS IS A FAIR KNOCK-OUT, HE EJACULATED.]
+
+She rapped out each clause in this last accusing sentence with
+deliberate effect, like so many pistol-shots. Each bullet hit home. The
+pea-green young man, drawing back and staring, stroked his shadowy
+moustache with feeble fingers in undisguised astonishment. Then he
+dropped into a chair and fixed his gaze blankly on Lady Georgina. 'Well,
+this is a fair knock-out,' he ejaculated, fatuously disconcerted. 'I
+wish Higginson was heah. I really don't quite know what to do without
+him. That fellah had squared it all up so neatly, don't yah know, that I
+thought there couldn't be any sort of hitch in the proceedings.'
+
+'You reckoned without Lois,' Lady Georgina said, calmly.
+
+'Ah, Miss Cayley--that's true. I mean, Mrs. Tillington. Yaas, yaas, I
+know, she's a doosid clevah person--for a woman,--now isn't she?'
+
+It was impossible to take this flabby creature seriously, even as a
+criminal. Lady Georgina's lips relaxed. 'Doosid clever,' she admitted,
+looking at me almost tenderly.
+
+'But not quite so clevah, don't yah know, as Higginson!'
+
+'There you make your blooming little erraw,' Mr. Hayes burst in,
+adopting one of Lord Southminster's favourite witticisms--the sort of
+witticism that improves, like poetry, by frequent repetition.
+'Policemen, you may go into the next room and wait: this is a family
+affair; we have no immediate need of you.'
+
+'Oh, certainly,' Lord Southminster echoed, much relieved. 'Very propah
+sentiment! Most undesirable that the constables should mix themselves up
+in a family mattah like this. Not the place for inferiahs!'
+
+'Then why introduce them?' Lady Georgina burst out, turning on him.
+
+He smiled his fatuous smile. 'That's just what I say,' he answered. 'Why
+the jooce introduce them? But don't snap my head off!'
+
+The policemen withdrew respectfully, glad to be relieved of this
+unpleasant business, where they could gain no credit, and might possibly
+involve themselves in a charge of assault. Lord Southminster rose with a
+benevolent grin, and looked about him pleasantly. The brandies and soda
+had endowed him with irrepressible cheerfulness.
+
+'Well?' Lady Georgina murmured.
+
+'Well, I think I'll leave now, Georgey. You've trumped my ace, yah know.
+Nasty trick of White to go and round on a fellah. I don't like the turn
+this business is taking. Seems to me, the only way I have left to get
+out of it is--to turn Queen's evidence.'
+
+Lady Georgina planted herself firmly against the door. 'Bertie,' she
+cried, 'no, you don't--not till we've got what we want out of you!'
+
+He gazed at her blandly. His face broke once more into an imbecile
+smile. 'You were always a rough 'un, Georgey. Your hand did sting! Well,
+what do you want now? We've each played our cards, and you needn't cut
+up rusty over it--especially when you're winning! Hang it all, I wish I
+had Higginson heah to tackle you!'
+
+'If you go to see the Treasury people, or the Solicitor-General, or the
+Public Prosecutor, or whoever else it may be,' Lady Georgina said,
+stoutly, 'Mr. Hayes must go with you. We've trumped your ace, as you
+say, and we mean to take advantage of it. And then you must trundle
+yourself down to Bow Street afterwards, confess the whole truth, and set
+Harold at liberty.'
+
+'Oh, I say now, Georgey! The whole truth! the whole blooming truth!
+That's really what I call humiliating a fellah!'
+
+'If you don't, we arrest you this minute--fourteen years' imprisonment!'
+
+'Fourteen yeahs?' He wiped his forehead. 'Oh, I say. How doosid
+uncomfortable. I was nevah much good at doing anything by the sweat of
+my brow. I ought to have lived in the Garden of Eden. Georgey, you're
+hard on a chap when he's down on his luck. It would be confounded cruel
+to send me to fourteen yeahs at Portland.'
+
+'You would have sent my husband to it,' I broke in, angrily, confronting
+him.
+
+'What? You too, Miss Cayley?-- I mean Mrs. Tillington. Don't look at me
+like that. Tigahs aren't in it.'
+
+His jauntiness disarmed us. However wicked he might be, one felt it
+would be ridiculous to imprison this schoolboy. A sound flogging and a
+month's deprivation of wine and cigarettes was the obvious punishment
+designed for him by nature.
+
+'You must go down to the police-court and confess this whole
+conspiracy,' Lady Georgina went on after a pause, as sternly as she was
+able. 'I prefer, if we can, to save the family--even you, Bertie. But I
+can't any longer save the family honour-- I can only save Harold's. You
+must help me to do that; and then, you must give me your solemn
+promise--in writing--to leave England for ever, and go to live in South
+Africa.'
+
+He stroked the invisible moustache more nervously than before. That
+penalty came home to him. 'What, leave England for evah?
+Newmarket--Ascot--the club--the music-halls!'
+
+'Or fourteen years' imprisonment!'
+
+'Georgey, you spank as hard as evah!'
+
+'Decide at once, or we arrest you!'
+
+He glanced about him feebly. I could see he was longing for his lost
+confederate. 'Well, I'll go,' he said at last, sobering down; 'and your
+solicitaw can trot round with me. I'll do all that you wish, though I
+call it most unfriendly. Hang it all, fourteen yeahs would be so beastly
+unpleasant!'
+
+We drove forthwith to the proper authorities, who, on hearing the facts,
+at once arranged to accept Lord Southminster and White as Queen's
+evidence, neither being the actual forger. We also telegraphed to Paris
+to have Higginson arrested, Lord Southminster giving us up his assumed
+name with the utmost cheerfulness, and without one moment's compunction.
+Mr. Hayes was quite right: each conspirator was only too ready to save
+himself by betraying his fellows. Then we drove on to Bow Street (Lord
+Southminster consoling himself with a cigarette on the way), just in
+time for Harold's case, which was to be taken, by special arrangement,
+at 3.30.
+
+A very few minutes sufficed to turn the tables completely on the
+conspirators. Harold was discharged, and a warrant was issued for the
+arrest of Higginson, the actual forger. He had drawn up the false will
+and signed it with Mr. Ashurst's name, after which he had presented it
+for Lord Southminster's approval. The pea-green young man told his tale
+with engaging frankness. 'Bertie's a simple Simon,' Lady Georgina
+commented to me; 'but he's also a rogue; and Higginson saw his way to
+make excellent capital of him in both capacities--first use him as a
+catspaw, and then blackmail him.'
+
+[Illustration: HAROLD, YOUR WIFE HAS BESTED ME.]
+
+On the steps of the police-court, as we emerged triumphant, Lord
+Southminster met us--still radiant as ever. He seemed wholly unaware of
+the depths of his iniquity: a fresh dose of brandy had restored his
+composure. 'Look heah,' he said, 'Harold, your wife has bested me! Jolly
+good thing for you that you managed to get hold of such a clevah woman!
+If you hadn't, deah boy, you'd have found yourself in Queeah Street!
+But, I say, Lois-- I call yah Lois because you're my cousin now, yah
+know--you were backing the wrong man aftah all, as I told yah. For if
+you'd backed _me_, all this wouldn't have come out; you'd have got the
+tin and been a countess as well, aftah the governah's dead and gone,
+don't yah see. You'd have landed the double event. So you'd have pulled
+off a bettah thing for yourself in the end, as I said, if you'd laid
+your bottom dollah on me for winnah!'
+
+Higginson is now doing fourteen years at Portland; Harold and I are
+happy in the sweetest place in Gloucestershire; and Lord Southminster,
+blissfully unaware of the contempt with which the rest of the world
+regards him, is shooting big game among his 'boys' in South Africa.
+Indeed, he bears so little malice that he sent us a present of a trophy
+of horns for our hall last winter.
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+THE WINCHESTER EDITION OF THE NOVELS OF JANE AUSTEN
+
+
+10 Vols. Demy 8vo, Cloth, 5s. net each Vol.
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+
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+
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+the charming edition of Miss Austen's Novels, which starts with _Sense
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+
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+
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+
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+
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