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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/30884-h.zip b/30884-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2e096cc --- /dev/null +++ b/30884-h.zip diff --git a/30884-h/30884-h.htm b/30884-h/30884-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4177867 --- /dev/null +++ b/30884-h/30884-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1157 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Step IV, by Rosel George Brown + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; background-color: #FFFFFF; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +.tr {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; margin-top: 5%; margin-bottom: 5%; padding: 2em; background-color: #f6f2f2; color: black; border: dotted black 1px;} + +.blockquot { + margin-left: 35%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + +.center {text-align: center;} + +/* Images */ +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; +} + +.figleft { + float: left; + clear: left; + margin-left: 0; + margin-bottom: 0em; + margin-top: 0.25em; + margin-right: 0.25em; + padding: 0; + text-align: center; +} + + +/* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Step IV, by Rosel George Brown + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Step IV + +Author: Rosel George Brown + +Illustrator: Varga + +Release Date: January 7, 2010 [EBook #30884] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEP IV *** + + + + +Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="tr"><p class="center">Transcriber's Note:</p> +<p class="center">This etext was produced from Amazing Stories June 1960. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. </p></div> +<p> </p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/image_001.jpg" width="600" height="411" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<p> </p> +<p class="blockquot" ><i>Steps 1, 2 and 3 went according to<br /> +plan. Then she moved on to....</i></p> + +<p> </p> +<h1>STEP IV</h1> + +<p> </p> +<h2>By ROSEL GEORGE BROWN</h2> +<p> </p> + +<h3>ILLUSTRATOR VARGA</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="39" height="50" /></div> +<p>he first time Juba saw him, she couldn't help recalling the +description of Ariovistus in <i>Julius Caesar</i>: <i>Hominem esse barbarum, +iracundum, temerarium.</i></p> + +<p>She unpinned the delicate laesa from her hair, for Terran spacemen are +educated, and if they have a choice, or seem to have, prefer seduction +to rape.</p> + +<p>Step. I. A soft answer turneth away wrath, leaving time for making +plans.</p> + +<p>He caught the flower, pleased with himself, Juba saw, for not +fumbling, pleased with his manhood, pleased with his morality in +deciding not to rape her.</p> + +<p>Rule a—A man pleased with himself is off guard.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>He was big, even for a Man, and all hair, and in his heavy arms the +veins were knotted and very blue. He had taken off his shirt, letting +the air blow shamelessly over him.</p> + +<p>It was true he was wonderful to see. And Juba knew that such is the +nature of our violences, if she had been born into such a body, she +too, would be a thing of wars and cruelty, a burner of cities, a +carrier of death and desolation.</p> + +<p>His face softened, as though the hand of Juno had passed over it. +Softly he gazed at the flower, softly at Juba.</p> + +<p>Rule b—This is the only time they are tractable.</p> + +<p>"Vene mecum," she bade him, retreating into the glade—what was left +of it after his ship burned a scar into it. She ran lightly, so as to +give the impression that if he turned, only so far as to pick up the +weapon on the ground by his shirt, she would disappear.</p> + +<p>"I follow," he said in her own language, and she stopped, surprise +tangling her like a net. For she had been taught that Men speak only +New-language in our time, all soft tongues having been scorned to +death.</p> + +<p>She should not have stopped. He looked back toward his gun. "Wait a +moment," he said. His "a"'s were flat and harsh, his words awkwardly +sequenced.</p> + +<p>"Come with me," she said, and ran off again. She had been caught off +guard.</p> + +<p>Would he follow her? "Wait!" he cried, hesitated, and came after her +again. "I want to get my gun." He reached for Juba's hand.</p> + +<p>She shrank back from him. "Mulier enim sum." Would he get the force of +the particle? What could he fear from a mere woman?</p> + +<p>When he had followed her far enough, when he had gone as far as he +would, for fear of losing his way from his ship, she let him take her +hand.</p> + +<p>"Terran sum," he said. And then, with meaning, "Homino sum."</p> + +<p>"Then you are, naturally, hungry," Juba said. "You have no need to +come armed. Let me take you to my home. There are only my sisters and +I and the mother."</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said, and took her other hand.</p> + +<p>She blushed, because he was strangely attractive, and because the +thought came to her that his ways were gentle, and that if he spoke a +soft tongue, perhaps he was not like other Men.</p> + +<p>Rule c—They are all alike.</p> + +<p>"Come," Juba said, turning, "We are not far from the cottages."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>She watched, during the meal, to see how he impressed the sisters and +the mother. The little sisters—all bouncy blond curls and silly with +laughter—their reaction to everything was excitement. And the +mother—how could she seem so different from her daughters when they +were so completely of her? They had no genes but her genes. And yet, +there she sat, so dignified, offering a generous hospitality, but so +cold Juba could feel it at the other end of the table. So cold—but +the Man would not know, could not read the thin line of her taut lips +and the faint lift at the edges of her eyes.</p> + +<p>Juba brought him back to the ship that night, knowing he would not +leave the planet.</p> + +<p>"Mother," Juba said, kneeling before the mother and clasping her knees +in supplication. "Mother ... isn't he ... different?"</p> + +<p>"Juba," the mother said, "there is blood on his hands. He has killed. +Can't you see it in his eyes?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. He has a gun and he has used it. But mother—there is a +gentleness in him. Could he not change? Perhaps I, myself...."</p> + +<p>"Beware," the mother said sternly, "that you do not fall into your own +traps."</p> + +<p>"But you have never really known a man, have you? I mean, except for +servants?"</p> + +<p>"I have also," she said, "never had an intimate conversation with a +lion, nor shared my noonday thoughts with a spider."</p> + +<p>"But lions and spiders can't talk. That's the difference. They have no +understanding."</p> + +<p>"Neither have men. They are like your baby sister, Diana, who is +reasonable until it no longer suits her, and then the only difference +between her and an animal is that she has more cunning."</p> + +<p>"Yes," Juba said resignedly, getting to her feet. "If thus it is +Written. Thank you, Mother. You are a wellspring of knowledge."</p> + +<p>"Juba," Mother said with a smile, pulling the girl's cloak, for she +liked to please them, "would you like him for a pet? Or your personal +servant?"</p> + +<p>"No," she said, and she could feel the breath sharp in her lungs. "I +would rather.... He would make a good spectacle in the gladiatorial +contests. He would look well with a sword through his heart."</p> + +<p>She would not picture him a corpse. She put the picture from her mind. +But even less would she picture him unmanned.</p> + +<p>He would rather die strong than live weak. And Juba—why should she +have this pride for him? For she felt pride, pangs as real as the +pangs of childbirth. There are different kinds of pride, but the worst +kind of pride is pride in strength, pride in power. And she <i>knew</i> +that was what she felt. She was sinning with full knowledge and she +could not put her sin from her.</p> + +<p>Juba ran straight to the altar of Juno, and made libation with her own +tears. "Mother Juno," she prayed, "take from me my pride. For pride is +the wellspring whence flow all sins."</p> + +<p>But even as she prayed, her reason pricked at her. For she was taught +from childhood to be reasonable above all things. And, having spoken +with this Man, having found him courteous and educated, she could not +believe he was beyond redemption simply because he was a Man. It was +true that in many ways he was strange and different. But were they not +more alike than different?</p> + +<p>And as for his violences—were they much better, with their +gladiatorial combats? Supposed to remind them, of course, of the +bloodshed they had abhorred and renounced. But who did not secretly +enjoy it? And whose thumbs ever went up when the Moment came? And this +making of pets and servants out of Men—what was that but the worst +pride of all? Glorying that a few incisions in the brain and elsewhere +gave them the power to make forever absurd what came to them with the +seeds at least of sublimity.</p> + +<p>Juba stood up. Who was she to decide what is right and what is wrong?</p> + +<p>She faced the world and its ways were too dark for her, so she faced +away.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>There was a sound in the brush near her, and she wished the stars +would wink out, for the sound had the rhythm of her Mother's +approach, and Juba wanted to hide her face from her mother.</p> + +<p>The mother frowned at Juba, a little wearily. "You have decided to +forsake the world and become a Watcher of the Holy Flame. Am I not +right?"</p> + +<p>"You are right, mother."</p> + +<p>"You think that way you avoid decision, is that not right?"</p> + +<p>"That is right," Juba answered.</p> + +<p>She motioned the girl to the edge of the raised, round stone and sat. +"It is impossible to avoid decision. The decision is already made. +What you will not do, someone else will do, and all you will have +accomplished is your own failure."</p> + +<p>"It is true," Juba said. "But why must this be done, Mother? This is a +silly ceremony, a thing for children, this symbolic trial. Can we not +just say, 'Now Juba is a woman,' without having to humiliate this poor +Man, who after all doesn't...."</p> + +<p>"Look into your heart, Juba," the mother interrupted. "Are your +feelings silly? Is this the play of children?"</p> + +<p>"No," she admitted. For never before had she been thus tormented +within herself.</p> + +<p>"You think that this Man is different, do you not? Or perhaps that all +men are not so savage of soul as you have been taught. Well, I tell +you that a Man's nature is built into his very chromosomes, and you +should know that."</p> + +<p>"I know, mother." For Juba was educated.</p> + +<p>"There was a reason once, why men should be as they are. Nature is not +gentle and if nature is left to herself, the timid do not survive. But +if bloodlust was once a virtue, it is no longer a virtue, and if men +will end up killing each other off, let us not also be killed."</p> + +<p>"No," Juba said. For who would mind the hearths?</p> + +<p>"All that," the mother said, rising and dusting off her robe, "is +theory, and ideas touch not the heart. Let me but remind you that the +choice is yours, and when the choice is made I shall not yea or nay +you, but think on this—a woman, too, must have her quiet strength, +and you spring of a race of queens. How shall the people look to the +Tanaids for strength in times of doubt and trouble, if a Tanaid cannot +meet the Trial? The choice is yours. But think on who you are."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The mother slipped away and left Juba alone in the quiet precinct of +Juno, watching how the little fire caught at the silver backs of +turned leaves when the wind blew.</p> + +<p>Yes, Juba knew who she was, though they had never made it an important +thing to be a ruler. But ruler or not, she loved her land and her home +and her people, and even this ringed space of quiet where the spirit +of Juno burned safely. Life somehow had chosen for her to be born and +had made room for her in this particular place. Now <i>she</i> must choose +<i>it</i>, freely. Otherwise she would never have in her hands the threads +of her own life, and there would be no life for her. Only the complete +loss of self that comes to the Watchers of the Holy Flame. And that is +a holy thing, and an honor to one's house, if it is chosen from the +heart. But if it is chosen from fear of crossing the passageways of +life—then it is no honor but a shame.</p> + +<p>And Juba knew she could not bear such a shame, either for her house or +within the depths of her soul.</p> + +<p>"Mother Juno," she prayed, "make clear the vision of my soul, and let +me not, in my vanity, think I find good what the goddesses see to be +evil."</p> + +<p>So she rose with a strong and grateful heart, as though she had +already faced her trial and had been equal to it.</p> + +<p>The rest of the night she slept warmly, so unaware are we of the +forces within us.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The first fingers of the sun pulled Juba from her cot, as they pull +the dew from the green things of the earth, and she pinned in her hair +the first Laesa she saw that the sun's fingers had forced.</p> + +<p>The Man was standing beside his space ship again. It was a small +ship—indeed, from the angle of Juba's approach, and from the +glancings of the sun, it looked smaller than the Man.</p> + +<p>Juba's decision held firm within her, for she saw there was no +humility in him. He stood there laughing at the dawn, as though he +were a very god, and were allowing the earth and sky to draw off their +shadows for him, instead of standing in awe and full gratitude for the +gift of life, and feeling, as one should, the smallness of a person +and the weakness of a person's power, compared with the mighty forces +that roll earth and sky into another day.</p> + +<p>It is in this way, Juba thought, that men seem strong, because they +have no knowledge of their own weaknesses. But it is only a seeming +strength, since it stems from ignorance, and the flower of it falls +early from the bush.</p> + +<p>Juba did not, however, say all this.</p> + +<p>Rule d—A man's ego is his most precious possession.</p> + +<p>"You are very strong," Juba said, her eyes downcast, for he was bare +again to the waist, and it had come to her that she would like to +string her fingers through the hair on his chest.</p> + +<p>"Runs in the family," he said carelessly. "But come, I had dinner with +you yesterday. Let's have breakfast in my ship today."</p> + +<p>"I...." What was she afraid of? If he'd meant to do her any violence, +he'd have done it already. And this would provide Juba's +opportunity—"Yes," she said. "I would be delighted."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>There had to be some talk, and perhaps something else, before she +could make her request of him. They had to be friends of some sort +before he was at all likely to agree.</p> + +<p>It is difficult to make conversation with a man.</p> + +<p>Finally Juba gave up trying to think of something interesting to say +and asked, "What is your way of life, that you should be going around +by yourself in a space ship?"</p> + +<p>"My way of life?" He laughed. "It becomes a way of life, doesn't it? +Whatever we do ends up enveloping us, doesn't it?"</p> + +<p>For a man he was thoughtful.</p> + +<p>"I'm a scout," he said. "I don't know that I chose it as a way of +life. I was born into the Solar Federation and I was born male and I +grew up healthy and stable and as patriotic as any reasonable person +can be expected to be. When war came I was drafted. I volunteered for +scouting because the rest of it is dull. War is dull. It is +unimaginably dull."</p> + +<p>"Then why," Juba asked, for she was amazed at this, "do you fight +wars?"</p> + +<p>Again he laughed. Is there anything these men don't laugh at? "That's +the riddle of the sphinx."</p> + +<p>That is <i>not</i> the riddle of the sphinx, but Juba did not correct him.</p> + +<p>"When you're attacked," he went on, "you fight back."</p> + +<p>"It could not possibly," Juba said, "be as simple as you make it +sound."</p> + +<p>"Of course, it isn't," he said, and he took two square sheets that +looked like papyrus, and put them each in a bowl. "There is the +question of what you did, or did not do, that you should be attacked."</p> + +<p>"And what did you do, or not do, that you should be attacked?"</p> + +<p>He was pouring a bluish-looking milk over the papyrus thing. His hands +were too large for everything he handled, and Juba wondered, if his +hand were on her wrist, if he could crush it. Or, being able to crush +it, if he would take care not to.</p> + +<p>"Oh—trade agreements, immigration agreements, how many space ships +can go where—who can say what either side did when or where to begin +it all? Nobody is <i>making</i> it happen. Sometimes, perhaps. But not as +far as this war is concerned. All I can say now is—O.K., for whatever +reason I'm in a war. At this point, what can I do but kill or be +killed?"</p> + +<p>Juba mashed the papyrus into the milk with her spoon, as the man was +doing. She took a bite. It tasted just like it looked.</p> + +<p>"You could," Juba said, "refuse to have anything to do with it at all. +You could simply go away and...." She stood up and the spoon clattered +to the floor and she could feel the bowl of milk spill cold and sticky +along her thigh. Because that's just what you can't do. You can't pull +the thread of your life out of the general weaving.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>She looked at her adversary, and he was as close to her as the +darkness is to the evening.</p> + +<p>"No," he said. "Life flows. A person's life or a civilization's life +or all humanity's life. If it cannot flow forward it flows backward. +Isn't that true? <i>Isn't</i> it?"</p> + +<p>But she turned away from him, to recover herself a little. For she +felt that he was right and her country and her foremothers were wrong +and she was wrong and yet—she had made her choice last night, at the +altar of Juno, and though she felt herself possessed by new +understanding, she had to go on in spite of it, as though she fought +wounded or blinded.</p> + +<p>"You are perhaps right," Juba said. "I am only a woman and I do not +know. But still, can you not take a few days from your war? Must you +think always on that and never on anything else?"</p> + +<p>He ate another of the paper things, not melting it first, and drank +from the container.</p> + +<p>"Look, Juba," he said, "I've been thinking on other things ever since +I got here, but first I want to...."</p> + +<p>"First," Juba interrupted, for here was her moment, "I ask one thing +of you. Only that you radio incorrect coordinates back to your base. +Say you have moved on, that this is a barren world."</p> + +<p>"Let me talk to you first," he said. "I want to...."</p> + +<p>"Please," Juba begged, moving toward him. "It is no loss to you. Only +a small favor, to protect our planet from outsiders, in return for ... +for whatever pleasures I can provide for you, or my sisters, if I do +not please you."</p> + +<p>"All right," he said, turning to his communication equipment. "If +that's the only way you're going to let me speak to you."</p> + +<p>"Your tape," Juba said. "Turn on your tape."</p> + +<p>"Tape!"</p> + +<p>"I do not speak New-language. I will have to have it translated."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The man looked at Juba hard and worked at the corner of his mouth with +his tongue.</p> + +<p>"All right," he said, flipping a switch. He turned to his equipment +and spoke his strange language into it. It was rough and she liked it.</p> + +<p>"Now," he began.</p> + +<p>"Give me the tape," Juba interrupted.</p> + +<p>He jostled a flat box out of the wall, held the tape up to the light +and snapped off a small portion and handed it to Juba.</p> + +<p>"Come outside," she said, taking his hand. "My world is more beautiful +than your space ship."</p> + +<p>"Can't deny that," he said, watching the branches of the Untouchable +Bush draw away as they walked through it.</p> + +<p>"Now," he said, when he was stretched out on the undulant moss. He +felt at the patch of moss sprouting under the warmth of his palm, and +watched while an exploratory tendril curled around his little finger. +"Now—do you know what it is I want of you?"</p> + +<p>"I have," Juba said, "some idea." She hadn't known they talked about +it. She thought they just did it.</p> + +<p>"Well, you're wrong."</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, and stood up and walked over to the brook so he would +not see her face. For she wondered wherein she was lacking and she was +embarrassed. "Then," she asked, "what <i>do</i> you want of me?"</p> + +<p>"There is, as I said, a war on. I am, as I said, a scout. I'm looking +for a communications base halfway between a certain strategic enemy +outpost and a certain strategic allied outpost."</p> + +<p>"Why?"</p> + +<p>"Why? I don't know why. Does the grain of sand know where the beach +ends? And if I did know, what would it matter?"</p> + +<p>"But why <i>this</i> planet? There are other systems. Even other planets in +this system." The moss curled under her feet and pricked at her. She +was not doing this right. What did she care about his war? But she did +not know what to do. She had been prepared for Seduction, Step II, and +had even thought up a few things to say, though conversation is not +included in the manual, because there is usually a language barrier. +It was his speaking the language that made the difference.</p> + +<p>"This is the only immediately habitable planet. You don't realize how +expensive and cumbersome and logistically difficult it is to set up +the simplest station on an abnormal planet. Tons of equipment are +needed just to compensate for a few degrees too much temperature, or a +few degrees too little, or excessive natural radiation, or a slight +off balance of atmosphere. Or even if a planet is <i>apparently</i> +habitable, there's no way of being absolutely sure until there have +been people actually living on it for a while. There isn't time for +all this. Can't you just believe me?"</p> + +<p>"I believe you," Juba said, "and the answer is no. It is not my +decision to make. I cannot decide for my people. And if I could, the +answer would still be no. That is exactly why we cut ourselves off +from the rest of civilization. To stay out of your wars, to carry on +civilization when you have laid it waste. That is why we are a planet +of parthenogenetic women."</p> + +<p>"Is it?" he asked. "Was it to carry on the torch for civilization or +to flee from it? Life flows, Juba. If it doesn't flow forward, it +flows backward. Which way does your world go?"</p> + +<p>Which way? The little stream scrambled over its bright rocks, flashing +the sunlight like teeth laughing.</p> + +<p>Which way? The servants, the pets, the gladiatorial contests. The old +goddesses. Were we becoming weary with time? Juba wondered. What sense +did it make? What future did it mold?</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The Man got up and came to put his arms around Juba, crossing his +arms over her chest and putting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned +down until she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.</p> + +<p>Then it was that Juba could feel from his strength that everything he +said must be right, because he said it, and that he was the name for +all those things inside her which had no name.</p> + +<p>"I cannot bring you in for the Ceremonies," Juba said. "Whatever you +are and whatever I am—these futures must lie with the goddesses. But +sacrifice you I cannot." She turned in his arms. "Go," she said. "And +quickly."</p> + +<p>He kissed her. "I will not go," he said, and she wanted very much for +him to stay, but not for the Ceremonies.</p> + +<p>"I was to draw you into the gladiatorial contests," she said, "with +rich promises. But I cannot. For those who die it is bad. But for +those who live it is worse."</p> + +<p>"Well, now you have told me and I will not be drawn," he said with +that grin. "Who said women are not barbarous? It is up to you," he +went on, "to free your world from its deadly isolation."</p> + +<p>He kissed her by the vein in her neck, the heavy one, where the blood +beats through. And there flashed through her head the instructions for +Seduction, Step II, and she wondered that other women had been able to +remember printed pages when this happened.</p> + +<p>"You must go," Juba said, holding him so that he would not. "What do +you want me to do?"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>He lost his fingers in her hair, "I like blondes," he said. "And I +like a slender waist." There was a tension in the muscles of his lower +lip and his eyes seemed to lengthen, and by this Juba knew what he +felt at that moment.</p> + +<p>But he said, "I want you to switch off your planetary directional +diverter. Even if you had let me radio in the coordinates I had they +would have been wrong, wouldn't they?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," Juba said. "But the directional diverter diverts only in +certain patterns, so that it might be possible to figure out...."</p> + +<p>"I know. Maybe and maybe not. I want you to turn it off long enough +for me to get up beyond your whole system and have my instruments take +a fix on your orbit. Then we can planet in blind, if necessary, to set +up our station."</p> + +<p>"But as soon as you take off," Juba said, wondering if she would +really do such a thing or if she would suddenly wake as from a dream +and find her wits again, "they'll be on me with their questions. And +what could I say to them?"</p> + +<p>"You won't have to say anything to them," the Man said. "You'll be on +the ship with me."</p> + +<p>"With <i>you</i>!" The thought went all through Juba, as ice water does +sometimes, and bubbled up into her ears. "With you." When she looked +at him she really couldn't see what he looked like any more. Only a +sort of shine. "You mean you'll take me away with you?"</p> + +<p>"Do you think I could leave you?" he asked, all shiny. "Smash the +thing," he said. "They'll repair it, but by that time it'll be too +late."</p> + +<p>She sat down on the moss, and he was over her, his face urgent, as for +Step III. But he said, "Go ahead. Go now. And hurry."</p> + +<p>She got up hastily, planning in her mind how she would arrange her +face, so as to appear calm if anyone should see her and what excuses +she would make if there were anyone about the Machine House. They had +no guards and kept no watches, for why should they?</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>It was at the market place, near the fish stalls, that she met her +mother.</p> + +<p>The mother tugged at Juba's robe as she went by. "It is not easy for +you, is it?" she asked, low, so that no one could hear.</p> + +<p>"No," the girl said. "It is not easy." Was it not written all over +her? Was it not on her breath and shaken out of her hair?</p> + +<p>The mother looked closely at Juba and felt at her forehead. "Perhaps +it is forcing you too soon," she said with a hesitant frown which for +a moment made her look like someone else. "It is not too late, Juba, +to get someone else. Even now...."</p> + +<p>"It is too late," Juba said, and pulled away, afraid to talk more. But +although the mother's face, Juba knew, was set, and her mind winding +unhappily through surmises, she would not follow the girl, out of +pride.</p> + +<p>Pride.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The machine was alone. Juba cut it off and pulled the handle of the +switch out. She then opened up the face plate and jerked out all the +wires in sight. She reached in and broke off all the fine points of +the compass settings and pulled out everything loose she could reach.</p> + +<p>Then she walked back quickly through the market place, so as not to +seem to be skulking.</p> + +<p>"Juba ..." the mother said, standing in her path.</p> + +<p>"Later," Juba said. "It will soon be done. Mother ... I love you. All +of you." And she went around the mother, quickly.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>"It is done," Juba said, giving him the switch key as though it meant +something all by itself. "You have at least several hours, even if +they find out at this moment. And they won't. There will be no real +suspicion until your ... our ship takes off."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>After he had made love to Juba, she could see the sun was wheeling +high, and in the temple they would begin to wonder a little. "We must +hurry," she said, and she broke a budded branch off a laesa bush, so +that later, when everything was strange, this bit of what she had been +would be with her to surprise her. In strange places, but with this +man.</p> + +<p>She turned to smile at him, for her heart was full of love, and she +felt that he was as much within her as he was within himself.</p> + +<p>It was then that he grabbed her hands and tied them, and he tied her +feet, and he lit a cigarette and stood for a moment, looking at her +and laughing a little with his eyes.</p> + +<p>Juba's mind was dark, very dark, as dimness after bright sunlight in +the eyes. She spoke to him with her brows, afraid to ask out loud why +he had done this, though there could be only one reason.</p> + +<p>"Thanks," he said, "for all of it." Then, seeing her tears, he said, +"Well, really, what did you expect?"</p> + +<p>There was a sharp stone beneath her shoulder, and she moved against +it, so that it would cut through her pain. And, feeling the blood warm +on her skin her tears stopped, for it was the stone that had hurt her, +and not the Man.</p> + +<p>"You act," she said with a sneer, "as I would expect a man to act."</p> + +<p>"And you," he said, walking off with his heavy steps, "have very +kindly acted as I would expect a woman to act."</p> + +<p>Thus it was that she opened her veins on the sharp rock. Not out of +love. Not out of sorrow. Not even out of fear. Out of pride.</p> + +<h3>THE END</h3> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Step IV, by Rosel George Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEP IV *** + +***** This file should be named 30884-h.htm or 30884-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/8/8/30884/ + +Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Step IV + +Author: Rosel George Brown + +Illustrator: Varga + +Release Date: January 7, 2010 [EBook #30884] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEP IV *** + + + + +Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from Amazing Stories June 1960. Extensive + research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. + + + [Illustration] + + _Steps 1, 2 and 3 went according + to plan. Then she moved on to...._ + + + STEP IV + + + By ROSEL GEORGE BROWN + + + ILLUSTRATOR VARGA + + * * * * * + + + + +The first time Juba saw him, she couldn't help recalling the +description of Ariovistus in _Julius Caesar_: _Hominem esse barbarum, +iracundum, temerarium._ + +She unpinned the delicate laesa from her hair, for Terran spacemen are +educated, and if they have a choice, or seem to have, prefer seduction +to rape. + +Step. I. A soft answer turneth away wrath, leaving time for making +plans. + +He caught the flower, pleased with himself, Juba saw, for not +fumbling, pleased with his manhood, pleased with his morality in +deciding not to rape her. + +Rule a--A man pleased with himself is off guard. + + * * * * * + +He was big, even for a Man, and all hair, and in his heavy arms the +veins were knotted and very blue. He had taken off his shirt, letting +the air blow shamelessly over him. + +It was true he was wonderful to see. And Juba knew that such is the +nature of our violences, if she had been born into such a body, she +too, would be a thing of wars and cruelty, a burner of cities, a +carrier of death and desolation. + +His face softened, as though the hand of Juno had passed over it. +Softly he gazed at the flower, softly at Juba. + +Rule b--This is the only time they are tractable. + +"Vene mecum," she bade him, retreating into the glade--what was left +of it after his ship burned a scar into it. She ran lightly, so as to +give the impression that if he turned, only so far as to pick up the +weapon on the ground by his shirt, she would disappear. + +"I follow," he said in her own language, and she stopped, surprise +tangling her like a net. For she had been taught that Men speak only +New-language in our time, all soft tongues having been scorned to +death. + +She should not have stopped. He looked back toward his gun. "Wait a +moment," he said. His "a"'s were flat and harsh, his words awkwardly +sequenced. + +"Come with me," she said, and ran off again. She had been caught off +guard. + +Would he follow her? "Wait!" he cried, hesitated, and came after her +again. "I want to get my gun." He reached for Juba's hand. + +She shrank back from him. "Mulier enim sum." Would he get the force of +the particle? What could he fear from a mere woman? + +When he had followed her far enough, when he had gone as far as he +would, for fear of losing his way from his ship, she let him take her +hand. + +"Terran sum," he said. And then, with meaning, "Homino sum." + +"Then you are, naturally, hungry," Juba said. "You have no need to +come armed. Let me take you to my home. There are only my sisters and +I and the mother." + +"Yes," he said, and took her other hand. + +She blushed, because he was strangely attractive, and because the +thought came to her that his ways were gentle, and that if he spoke a +soft tongue, perhaps he was not like other Men. + +Rule c--They are all alike. + +"Come," Juba said, turning, "We are not far from the cottages." + + * * * * * + +She watched, during the meal, to see how he impressed the sisters and +the mother. The little sisters--all bouncy blond curls and silly with +laughter--their reaction to everything was excitement. And the +mother--how could she seem so different from her daughters when they +were so completely of her? They had no genes but her genes. And yet, +there she sat, so dignified, offering a generous hospitality, but so +cold Juba could feel it at the other end of the table. So cold--but +the Man would not know, could not read the thin line of her taut lips +and the faint lift at the edges of her eyes. + +Juba brought him back to the ship that night, knowing he would not +leave the planet. + +"Mother," Juba said, kneeling before the mother and clasping her knees +in supplication. "Mother ... isn't he ... different?" + +"Juba," the mother said, "there is blood on his hands. He has killed. +Can't you see it in his eyes?" + +"Yes. He has a gun and he has used it. But mother--there is a +gentleness in him. Could he not change? Perhaps I, myself...." + +"Beware," the mother said sternly, "that you do not fall into your own +traps." + +"But you have never really known a man, have you? I mean, except for +servants?" + +"I have also," she said, "never had an intimate conversation with a +lion, nor shared my noonday thoughts with a spider." + +"But lions and spiders can't talk. That's the difference. They have no +understanding." + +"Neither have men. They are like your baby sister, Diana, who is +reasonable until it no longer suits her, and then the only difference +between her and an animal is that she has more cunning." + +"Yes," Juba said resignedly, getting to her feet. "If thus it is +Written. Thank you, Mother. You are a wellspring of knowledge." + +"Juba," Mother said with a smile, pulling the girl's cloak, for she +liked to please them, "would you like him for a pet? Or your personal +servant?" + +"No," she said, and she could feel the breath sharp in her lungs. "I +would rather.... He would make a good spectacle in the gladiatorial +contests. He would look well with a sword through his heart." + +She would not picture him a corpse. She put the picture from her mind. +But even less would she picture him unmanned. + +He would rather die strong than live weak. And Juba--why should she +have this pride for him? For she felt pride, pangs as real as the +pangs of childbirth. There are different kinds of pride, but the worst +kind of pride is pride in strength, pride in power. And she _knew_ +that was what she felt. She was sinning with full knowledge and she +could not put her sin from her. + +Juba ran straight to the altar of Juno, and made libation with her own +tears. "Mother Juno," she prayed, "take from me my pride. For pride is +the wellspring whence flow all sins." + +But even as she prayed, her reason pricked at her. For she was taught +from childhood to be reasonable above all things. And, having spoken +with this Man, having found him courteous and educated, she could not +believe he was beyond redemption simply because he was a Man. It was +true that in many ways he was strange and different. But were they not +more alike than different? + +And as for his violences--were they much better, with their +gladiatorial combats? Supposed to remind them, of course, of the +bloodshed they had abhorred and renounced. But who did not secretly +enjoy it? And whose thumbs ever went up when the Moment came? And this +making of pets and servants out of Men--what was that but the worst +pride of all? Glorying that a few incisions in the brain and elsewhere +gave them the power to make forever absurd what came to them with the +seeds at least of sublimity. + +Juba stood up. Who was she to decide what is right and what is wrong? + +She faced the world and its ways were too dark for her, so she faced +away. + + * * * * * + +There was a sound in the brush near her, and she wished the stars +would wink out, for the sound had the rhythm of her Mother's +approach, and Juba wanted to hide her face from her mother. + +The mother frowned at Juba, a little wearily. "You have decided to +forsake the world and become a Watcher of the Holy Flame. Am I not +right?" + +"You are right, mother." + +"You think that way you avoid decision, is that not right?" + +"That is right," Juba answered. + +She motioned the girl to the edge of the raised, round stone and sat. +"It is impossible to avoid decision. The decision is already made. +What you will not do, someone else will do, and all you will have +accomplished is your own failure." + +"It is true," Juba said. "But why must this be done, Mother? This is a +silly ceremony, a thing for children, this symbolic trial. Can we not +just say, 'Now Juba is a woman,' without having to humiliate this poor +Man, who after all doesn't...." + +"Look into your heart, Juba," the mother interrupted. "Are your +feelings silly? Is this the play of children?" + +"No," she admitted. For never before had she been thus tormented +within herself. + +"You think that this Man is different, do you not? Or perhaps that all +men are not so savage of soul as you have been taught. Well, I tell +you that a Man's nature is built into his very chromosomes, and you +should know that." + +"I know, mother." For Juba was educated. + +"There was a reason once, why men should be as they are. Nature is not +gentle and if nature is left to herself, the timid do not survive. But +if bloodlust was once a virtue, it is no longer a virtue, and if men +will end up killing each other off, let us not also be killed." + +"No," Juba said. For who would mind the hearths? + +"All that," the mother said, rising and dusting off her robe, "is +theory, and ideas touch not the heart. Let me but remind you that the +choice is yours, and when the choice is made I shall not yea or nay +you, but think on this--a woman, too, must have her quiet strength, +and you spring of a race of queens. How shall the people look to the +Tanaids for strength in times of doubt and trouble, if a Tanaid cannot +meet the Trial? The choice is yours. But think on who you are." + + * * * * * + +The mother slipped away and left Juba alone in the quiet precinct of +Juno, watching how the little fire caught at the silver backs of +turned leaves when the wind blew. + +Yes, Juba knew who she was, though they had never made it an important +thing to be a ruler. But ruler or not, she loved her land and her home +and her people, and even this ringed space of quiet where the spirit +of Juno burned safely. Life somehow had chosen for her to be born and +had made room for her in this particular place. Now _she_ must choose +_it_, freely. Otherwise she would never have in her hands the threads +of her own life, and there would be no life for her. Only the complete +loss of self that comes to the Watchers of the Holy Flame. And that is +a holy thing, and an honor to one's house, if it is chosen from the +heart. But if it is chosen from fear of crossing the passageways of +life--then it is no honor but a shame. + +And Juba knew she could not bear such a shame, either for her house or +within the depths of her soul. + +"Mother Juno," she prayed, "make clear the vision of my soul, and let +me not, in my vanity, think I find good what the goddesses see to be +evil." + +So she rose with a strong and grateful heart, as though she had +already faced her trial and had been equal to it. + +The rest of the night she slept warmly, so unaware are we of the +forces within us. + + * * * * * + +The first fingers of the sun pulled Juba from her cot, as they pull +the dew from the green things of the earth, and she pinned in her hair +the first Laesa she saw that the sun's fingers had forced. + +The Man was standing beside his space ship again. It was a small +ship--indeed, from the angle of Juba's approach, and from the +glancings of the sun, it looked smaller than the Man. + +Juba's decision held firm within her, for she saw there was no +humility in him. He stood there laughing at the dawn, as though he +were a very god, and were allowing the earth and sky to draw off their +shadows for him, instead of standing in awe and full gratitude for the +gift of life, and feeling, as one should, the smallness of a person +and the weakness of a person's power, compared with the mighty forces +that roll earth and sky into another day. + +It is in this way, Juba thought, that men seem strong, because they +have no knowledge of their own weaknesses. But it is only a seeming +strength, since it stems from ignorance, and the flower of it falls +early from the bush. + +Juba did not, however, say all this. + +Rule d--A man's ego is his most precious possession. + +"You are very strong," Juba said, her eyes downcast, for he was bare +again to the waist, and it had come to her that she would like to +string her fingers through the hair on his chest. + +"Runs in the family," he said carelessly. "But come, I had dinner with +you yesterday. Let's have breakfast in my ship today." + +"I...." What was she afraid of? If he'd meant to do her any violence, +he'd have done it already. And this would provide Juba's +opportunity--"Yes," she said. "I would be delighted." + + * * * * * + +There had to be some talk, and perhaps something else, before she +could make her request of him. They had to be friends of some sort +before he was at all likely to agree. + +It is difficult to make conversation with a man. + +Finally Juba gave up trying to think of something interesting to say +and asked, "What is your way of life, that you should be going around +by yourself in a space ship?" + +"My way of life?" He laughed. "It becomes a way of life, doesn't it? +Whatever we do ends up enveloping us, doesn't it?" + +For a man he was thoughtful. + +"I'm a scout," he said. "I don't know that I chose it as a way of +life. I was born into the Solar Federation and I was born male and I +grew up healthy and stable and as patriotic as any reasonable person +can be expected to be. When war came I was drafted. I volunteered for +scouting because the rest of it is dull. War is dull. It is +unimaginably dull." + +"Then why," Juba asked, for she was amazed at this, "do you fight +wars?" + +Again he laughed. Is there anything these men don't laugh at? "That's +the riddle of the sphinx." + +That is _not_ the riddle of the sphinx, but Juba did not correct him. + +"When you're attacked," he went on, "you fight back." + +"It could not possibly," Juba said, "be as simple as you make it +sound." + +"Of course, it isn't," he said, and he took two square sheets that +looked like papyrus, and put them each in a bowl. "There is the +question of what you did, or did not do, that you should be attacked." + +"And what did you do, or not do, that you should be attacked?" + +He was pouring a bluish-looking milk over the papyrus thing. His hands +were too large for everything he handled, and Juba wondered, if his +hand were on her wrist, if he could crush it. Or, being able to crush +it, if he would take care not to. + +"Oh--trade agreements, immigration agreements, how many space ships +can go where--who can say what either side did when or where to begin +it all? Nobody is _making_ it happen. Sometimes, perhaps. But not as +far as this war is concerned. All I can say now is--O.K., for whatever +reason I'm in a war. At this point, what can I do but kill or be +killed?" + +Juba mashed the papyrus into the milk with her spoon, as the man was +doing. She took a bite. It tasted just like it looked. + +"You could," Juba said, "refuse to have anything to do with it at all. +You could simply go away and...." She stood up and the spoon clattered +to the floor and she could feel the bowl of milk spill cold and sticky +along her thigh. Because that's just what you can't do. You can't pull +the thread of your life out of the general weaving. + + * * * * * + +She looked at her adversary, and he was as close to her as the +darkness is to the evening. + +"No," he said. "Life flows. A person's life or a civilization's life +or all humanity's life. If it cannot flow forward it flows backward. +Isn't that true? _Isn't_ it?" + +But she turned away from him, to recover herself a little. For she +felt that he was right and her country and her foremothers were wrong +and she was wrong and yet--she had made her choice last night, at the +altar of Juno, and though she felt herself possessed by new +understanding, she had to go on in spite of it, as though she fought +wounded or blinded. + +"You are perhaps right," Juba said. "I am only a woman and I do not +know. But still, can you not take a few days from your war? Must you +think always on that and never on anything else?" + +He ate another of the paper things, not melting it first, and drank +from the container. + +"Look, Juba," he said, "I've been thinking on other things ever since +I got here, but first I want to...." + +"First," Juba interrupted, for here was her moment, "I ask one thing +of you. Only that you radio incorrect coordinates back to your base. +Say you have moved on, that this is a barren world." + +"Let me talk to you first," he said. "I want to...." + +"Please," Juba begged, moving toward him. "It is no loss to you. Only +a small favor, to protect our planet from outsiders, in return for ... +for whatever pleasures I can provide for you, or my sisters, if I do +not please you." + +"All right," he said, turning to his communication equipment. "If +that's the only way you're going to let me speak to you." + +"Your tape," Juba said. "Turn on your tape." + +"Tape!" + +"I do not speak New-language. I will have to have it translated." + + * * * * * + +The man looked at Juba hard and worked at the corner of his mouth with +his tongue. + +"All right," he said, flipping a switch. He turned to his equipment +and spoke his strange language into it. It was rough and she liked it. + +"Now," he began. + +"Give me the tape," Juba interrupted. + +He jostled a flat box out of the wall, held the tape up to the light +and snapped off a small portion and handed it to Juba. + +"Come outside," she said, taking his hand. "My world is more beautiful +than your space ship." + +"Can't deny that," he said, watching the branches of the Untouchable +Bush draw away as they walked through it. + +"Now," he said, when he was stretched out on the undulant moss. He +felt at the patch of moss sprouting under the warmth of his palm, and +watched while an exploratory tendril curled around his little finger. +"Now--do you know what it is I want of you?" + +"I have," Juba said, "some idea." She hadn't known they talked about +it. She thought they just did it. + +"Well, you're wrong." + +"Oh," she said, and stood up and walked over to the brook so he would +not see her face. For she wondered wherein she was lacking and she was +embarrassed. "Then," she asked, "what _do_ you want of me?" + +"There is, as I said, a war on. I am, as I said, a scout. I'm looking +for a communications base halfway between a certain strategic enemy +outpost and a certain strategic allied outpost." + +"Why?" + +"Why? I don't know why. Does the grain of sand know where the beach +ends? And if I did know, what would it matter?" + +"But why _this_ planet? There are other systems. Even other planets in +this system." The moss curled under her feet and pricked at her. She +was not doing this right. What did she care about his war? But she did +not know what to do. She had been prepared for Seduction, Step II, and +had even thought up a few things to say, though conversation is not +included in the manual, because there is usually a language barrier. +It was his speaking the language that made the difference. + +"This is the only immediately habitable planet. You don't realize how +expensive and cumbersome and logistically difficult it is to set up +the simplest station on an abnormal planet. Tons of equipment are +needed just to compensate for a few degrees too much temperature, or a +few degrees too little, or excessive natural radiation, or a slight +off balance of atmosphere. Or even if a planet is _apparently_ +habitable, there's no way of being absolutely sure until there have +been people actually living on it for a while. There isn't time for +all this. Can't you just believe me?" + +"I believe you," Juba said, "and the answer is no. It is not my +decision to make. I cannot decide for my people. And if I could, the +answer would still be no. That is exactly why we cut ourselves off +from the rest of civilization. To stay out of your wars, to carry on +civilization when you have laid it waste. That is why we are a planet +of parthenogenetic women." + +"Is it?" he asked. "Was it to carry on the torch for civilization or +to flee from it? Life flows, Juba. If it doesn't flow forward, it +flows backward. Which way does your world go?" + +Which way? The little stream scrambled over its bright rocks, flashing +the sunlight like teeth laughing. + +Which way? The servants, the pets, the gladiatorial contests. The old +goddesses. Were we becoming weary with time? Juba wondered. What sense +did it make? What future did it mold? + + * * * * * + +The Man got up and came to put his arms around Juba, crossing his +arms over her chest and putting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned +down until she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. + +Then it was that Juba could feel from his strength that everything he +said must be right, because he said it, and that he was the name for +all those things inside her which had no name. + +"I cannot bring you in for the Ceremonies," Juba said. "Whatever you +are and whatever I am--these futures must lie with the goddesses. But +sacrifice you I cannot." She turned in his arms. "Go," she said. "And +quickly." + +He kissed her. "I will not go," he said, and she wanted very much for +him to stay, but not for the Ceremonies. + +"I was to draw you into the gladiatorial contests," she said, "with +rich promises. But I cannot. For those who die it is bad. But for +those who live it is worse." + +"Well, now you have told me and I will not be drawn," he said with +that grin. "Who said women are not barbarous? It is up to you," he +went on, "to free your world from its deadly isolation." + +He kissed her by the vein in her neck, the heavy one, where the blood +beats through. And there flashed through her head the instructions for +Seduction, Step II, and she wondered that other women had been able to +remember printed pages when this happened. + +"You must go," Juba said, holding him so that he would not. "What do +you want me to do?" + + * * * * * + +He lost his fingers in her hair, "I like blondes," he said. "And I +like a slender waist." There was a tension in the muscles of his lower +lip and his eyes seemed to lengthen, and by this Juba knew what he +felt at that moment. + +But he said, "I want you to switch off your planetary directional +diverter. Even if you had let me radio in the coordinates I had they +would have been wrong, wouldn't they?" + +"Yes," Juba said. "But the directional diverter diverts only in +certain patterns, so that it might be possible to figure out...." + +"I know. Maybe and maybe not. I want you to turn it off long enough +for me to get up beyond your whole system and have my instruments take +a fix on your orbit. Then we can planet in blind, if necessary, to set +up our station." + +"But as soon as you take off," Juba said, wondering if she would +really do such a thing or if she would suddenly wake as from a dream +and find her wits again, "they'll be on me with their questions. And +what could I say to them?" + +"You won't have to say anything to them," the Man said. "You'll be on +the ship with me." + +"With _you_!" The thought went all through Juba, as ice water does +sometimes, and bubbled up into her ears. "With you." When she looked +at him she really couldn't see what he looked like any more. Only a +sort of shine. "You mean you'll take me away with you?" + +"Do you think I could leave you?" he asked, all shiny. "Smash the +thing," he said. "They'll repair it, but by that time it'll be too +late." + +She sat down on the moss, and he was over her, his face urgent, as for +Step III. But he said, "Go ahead. Go now. And hurry." + +She got up hastily, planning in her mind how she would arrange her +face, so as to appear calm if anyone should see her and what excuses +she would make if there were anyone about the Machine House. They had +no guards and kept no watches, for why should they? + + * * * * * + +It was at the market place, near the fish stalls, that she met her +mother. + +The mother tugged at Juba's robe as she went by. "It is not easy for +you, is it?" she asked, low, so that no one could hear. + +"No," the girl said. "It is not easy." Was it not written all over +her? Was it not on her breath and shaken out of her hair? + +The mother looked closely at Juba and felt at her forehead. "Perhaps +it is forcing you too soon," she said with a hesitant frown which for +a moment made her look like someone else. "It is not too late, Juba, +to get someone else. Even now...." + +"It is too late," Juba said, and pulled away, afraid to talk more. But +although the mother's face, Juba knew, was set, and her mind winding +unhappily through surmises, she would not follow the girl, out of +pride. + +Pride. + + * * * * * + +The machine was alone. Juba cut it off and pulled the handle of the +switch out. She then opened up the face plate and jerked out all the +wires in sight. She reached in and broke off all the fine points of +the compass settings and pulled out everything loose she could reach. + +Then she walked back quickly through the market place, so as not to +seem to be skulking. + +"Juba ..." the mother said, standing in her path. + +"Later," Juba said. "It will soon be done. Mother ... I love you. All +of you." And she went around the mother, quickly. + + * * * * * + +"It is done," Juba said, giving him the switch key as though it meant +something all by itself. "You have at least several hours, even if +they find out at this moment. And they won't. There will be no real +suspicion until your ... our ship takes off." + + * * * * * + +After he had made love to Juba, she could see the sun was wheeling +high, and in the temple they would begin to wonder a little. "We must +hurry," she said, and she broke a budded branch off a laesa bush, so +that later, when everything was strange, this bit of what she had been +would be with her to surprise her. In strange places, but with this +man. + +She turned to smile at him, for her heart was full of love, and she +felt that he was as much within her as he was within himself. + +It was then that he grabbed her hands and tied them, and he tied her +feet, and he lit a cigarette and stood for a moment, looking at her +and laughing a little with his eyes. + +Juba's mind was dark, very dark, as dimness after bright sunlight in +the eyes. She spoke to him with her brows, afraid to ask out loud why +he had done this, though there could be only one reason. + +"Thanks," he said, "for all of it." Then, seeing her tears, he said, +"Well, really, what did you expect?" + +There was a sharp stone beneath her shoulder, and she moved against +it, so that it would cut through her pain. And, feeling the blood warm +on her skin her tears stopped, for it was the stone that had hurt her, +and not the Man. + +"You act," she said with a sneer, "as I would expect a man to act." + +"And you," he said, walking off with his heavy steps, "have very +kindly acted as I would expect a woman to act." + +Thus it was that she opened her veins on the sharp rock. Not out of +love. Not out of sorrow. Not even out of fear. Out of pride. + +THE END + + * * * * * + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Step IV, by Rosel George Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STEP IV *** + +***** This file should be named 30884.txt or 30884.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/8/8/30884/ + +Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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