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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/30464-0.txt b/30464-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..73e0d95 --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5348 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30464 *** + + A Manifest Destiny + + BY + + JULIA MAGRUDER + AUTHOR OF "A MAGNIFICENT PLEBEIAN" + + ILLUSTRATED + + NEW YORK AND LONDON + HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS + 1900 + + + + + Copyright, 1900, by JULIA MAGRUDER. + + _All rights reserved._ + + + + + [Illustration: Page 16 + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL"] + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL" _Frontispiece_ + + SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR _Facing p._ 34 + + "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'" " 60 + + "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'" " 100 + + "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD" " 168 + + "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'" " 190 + + + + +A MANIFEST DESTINY + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +Bettina Mowbray, walking the deck of the ocean steamer bound for +England, was aware that she was observed with interest by a great +many pairs of eyes. Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not +more interested in her than she was in the interpretation of their +glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that +she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, +who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was +her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her +life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, +therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been +rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her would or +would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were. + +Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect +elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was +vigilantly regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at +times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of +comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They +not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but +they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher +standard, she had won a higher tribute. + +Yet, ardent as this admiration was on the one side, and grateful as +it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would +have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which +no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she +was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to +her once had been so politely repelled that they had not spoken +again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on +coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively. + +There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye +and the imagination in this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, +perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and +expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, +dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning +dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time +there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made +her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in +which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the +brilliancy of a jewel. + +And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the +dual nature which was Bettina's. Her mother, who had studied her with +a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two +key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor +of Bettina's heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little +old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was +from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of +sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other +strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of +what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a +sort of desperation, and looked about her to see what was yet left +to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. +With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could +never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she +must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in +the world. + +This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had +been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank +and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect. + +In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the +papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her +beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had +fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had +many a pang of fear for the future of her child. + +When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her +heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the +dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the +possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if +she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite +opportunity in the person of one whom her mother entirely trusted +and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was +little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position, +but it had come about quite simply. + +The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her +daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev. Arthur +Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was +cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but +natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it +was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought +her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and +as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of +course that he should fall in love with her. + +So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and +talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account +of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply: + +"He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a +short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat +at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a +London mansion, several country places, and one of the greatest +positions in English society." + +"My child, my poor child!" said the mother, in a tone of distress, +"what is to be the end of your inordinate ambition for the things of +the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them +some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! +Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do +that but love." + +"But, you see, I propose to have love too," was the gay response. "I +assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as +this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms deep in love with me +already. He is manly, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether +charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, +mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; +but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of +Lord Hurdly." + +"Bettina," said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her +daughter's shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, "you will have to +come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at +last--the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight +and inadequate, and not worthy to be compared with the love which +you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call +forth your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and +I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman's best heritage. +Don't marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the +great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows +I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; +but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved +your father more." + +These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined to come back +to Bettina afterward, though at the time she resented the very +suggestion of what they predicted. + +Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had +become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had +followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a +proposal of marriage. + +Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an +inveterate enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of +kin and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, +and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very +agreeable to be constantly reminded that another man would some day +stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured for Horace a diplomatic +position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was +delightful, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made +him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to +indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, +intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that +moment gave up every other thought but the dominant one of winning +her for his wife. + +Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, +but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly's answer to his letter +announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings on +this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of +Bettina's beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady +Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that +his cousin would disapprove. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to +grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up +to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future. + +It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly's letter, when it came, was a +cold, curt, and most decided refusal to consent to the marriage. He +objected chiefly on the score of Bettina's being an American, though +he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to +think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do +better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as +he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very +day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his +senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end. + +Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but +she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a +keen desire to triumph over this obdurate opposition, and when Horace +asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his +altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than +she had hitherto shown. + +The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her +mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her +mother's failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could +not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs of jealousy, of which +he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother +in itself a proof of her great capacity of loving, and must he not, +with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? +Still, he chafed under the fact that every day her mother became more +and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now +more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact +by saying that the invalid was more suffering and in need of her, and +she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be +all-sufficing. + +At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing--a +summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have +attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the +prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn, he dared not +do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on +what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter +frankly before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would +relent, and spoke so indifferently about their lack of money that he +loved her all the more for it. + +He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina +to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to +propose this he found that the mere suggestion of her leaving her +mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her +mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be +braced up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change +would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and +some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would +go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they +could be married. + +With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying +experience for him to have to consider the question of money so +closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly's heir-at-law, and he could not be +disinherited, so far as the title and entailed estates were +concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to +deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well +enough to understand that he was tenacious of any position once +taken. + +So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently +willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her +sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and +depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what +was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper +care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother's health. + +Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so +vividly that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such +heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration that he could but feel +confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her +letters did come, they were so short, scant, and preoccupied that +they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the +passionately loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while +he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient ones, his pride +became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the +extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his +heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came +to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters +to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his +hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to +speak only of her mother's health and her grief about it, the young +fellow's love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, +so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her +attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the vehement love +for her in which he got no response. + +At last, after a longer interval than usual, he got a letter from +Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead--had, indeed, been +dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to +write to him. + +In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution +that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which +she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had +found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe +at once. She fixed the 23d of June as the day on which she had +decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked from New +York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan +which required that she should have one week in London quite free of +Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise +to marry him. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +Bettina was in London. The ocean voyage had done her good, and the +necessary effect of change, variety, new faces, new feelings, new +thoughts, had been to take her out of herself--the self that was +nothing but a grieving and bereaved daughter--and to quicken the +pleasure-loving instincts and thirst for admiration which were as +inherently, though not as prominently, a part of her. There was still +a root of bitterness springing up within her whenever she thought of +her mother's being taken from her, and this very element it was which +urged her to make all she could of life, in the hope of partially +filling the void in her heart. She was not even yet reconciled to the +loss of her mother, and there was a certain defiance of destiny in +her resolution to get some compensation for the wrong she had +sustained in losing what was dearest to her. + +On arriving in London, Bettina went to a hotel, and from there made +inquiries as to the whereabouts of Lord Hurdly. Parliament was in +session, and his lordship was in his town house in Grosvenor Square. +Having ascertained the hour at which he was most likely to be at +home, Bettina betook herself at that hour to his house. + +She refused to give her name to the servant who answered her ring, +and asked merely that Lord Hurdly might be told that a lady wished to +speak to him on a matter of importance. The servant, after a moment's +hesitation, ushered her into a small reception-room on the first +floor, and requested her to wait there. + +She stood for a few moments alone in this room, her heart beating +fast. She wore the American style of deep mourning, which swathed her +in dense, impenetrable black from head to feet, and seemed to add to +her somewhat unusual tallness. + +The door opened. Lord Hurdly entered. She had seen photographs of +him, and even through that thick veil would have known him anywhere. +The tall, thin figure, sharp eyes, aquiline nose, clean-shaven face, +and scrupulous dress were all familiar to both memory and +imagination. + +He paused on the threshold of the room, as if slightly repelled by +the strange appearance of the shrouded figure before him. Then he +spoke, coldly and concisely. + +"You wished to speak to me?" he said. "I have a few moments only at +my disposal." + +Bettina raised one hand and threw back her veil, revealing thus not +only her face, but her whole figure clothed in smooth, tight-fitting +black, so plain and devoid of trimming that the exquisite lines were +shown to the best advantage. Her face, surrounded by black draperies, +looked as purely tinted as a flower, and the excitement of the moment +had made her eyes brilliant and flushed her cheeks. + +The imperturbability of Lord Hurdly's face relaxed. His lips parted; +a smothered sound, as of surprise, escaped him. Certainly at that +moment Bettina was nothing less than bewilderingly beautiful. + +"I have to beg your pardon for coming to you so unceremoniously," she +said. "My excuse is that I have a matter of great importance to speak +to you of." + +Her voice was certainly a charming one, and if her accent was such as +he might have found fault with under other circumstances, under these +he found it an added attraction. She had put her own construction on +Lord Hurdly's evident surprise at sight of her, and it was one which +gave her an increased self-possession and added to her sense of +power. + +"Let us go into another room," said Lord Hurdly. "I cannot keep you +here, and whatever you may have to say to me I am quite at leisure to +attend to." + +He led the way from the room, and Bettina followed in silence. She +had had innumerable dreams of grandeur, poor child! but she had been +too ignorant even to imagine such a place as this house. Its +furnishing and decorations represented not only the accumulated +wealth, but also the accumulated taste and opportunity, of many +successive generations. She felt an ineffable emotion of deep, +sensuous enjoyment in her present surroundings which made her heart +leap at the idea that all these things might some day be hers. Lord +Hurdly looked exceedingly well preserved, and that day might be very +far distant. All the more reason, therefore, she told herself, why +she should make peace between him and Horace, so that she might at +least be sometimes a guest in this house, and be lifted into an +atmosphere where she felt for the first time that she was in her true +element. It was not only the magnificence which she saw on every side +which so appealed to her. It was that air of the best in everything +that made her feel, in Lord Hurdly's presence, as well as in his +house, that civilization could not go further--that life, on its +material side, had nothing more to offer. And Bettina had now reached +a point in her experience where material pleasure seemed to be all +that was left. She quite believed that all of the joy of loving was +buried in the grave of her mother. + +Her heart was beating fast as she entered Lord Hurdly's library and +saw him close the door behind them. It then struck her as being a +little peculiar that he should have brought her here without even +knowing who she was or what she wanted of him. + +A doubt, a scarcely possible suspicion, came into her mind. + +"Have you any idea who I am?" she said. + +"It suffices me to know what you are." + +"Ah! I do not understand," she said, puzzled. + +"You have come upon me without ceremony, madam," said Lord Hurdly, +with a slightly old-fashioned pomposity in his polished manner, "and +I may therefore ask you to excuse an absence of ceremony in me in +alluding to the impression which you have made upon me. You are a +stranger to me--an American, I judge from your speech. I hope that I +am to be so fortunate as to hear that there is something which I can +do for you." + +"There is," Bettina said--"a thing so vital and important to me that, +now I am in your presence, I am afraid to venture to speak, for fear +you may refuse to hear my prayer." + +"You are in small danger from that quarter, I assure you. I am ready +to do for you whatever you may ask. Let me, however, put a few +questions before I hear your request. You are wearing mourning. Is +it, perhaps, for your husband?" + +"For my mother," said Bettina, with a sudden trembling of the lip and +suffusion of the eyes which gave her a new charm, in revealing the +fact that this young goddess had a human heart which could be quickly +stirred to emotion. + +"Forgive me," said Lord Hurdly, with great courtesy. "Forget that I +have roughly touched a spot so sore, and tell me this, if you will: +are you married or unmarried?" + +"I am unmarried," said Bettina, beginning to tremble as she found the +important moment upon her; "but I am about to be married. I have made +this visit to London beforehand only to see you. The man I am going +to marry is your cousin and heir, Horace Spotswood." + +Lord Hurdly's guarded face betrayed a certain agitation, but the +signs of this were quickly controlled. + +He looked straight into her eyes for a few seconds without speaking. +Then he crossed the room and touched an electric button, saying, as +he did so: + +"I will get rid of an engagement that I had, so that I may be quite +at leisure to talk with you." + +Neither spoke again until the servant had come, taken his +instructions, and gone away, closing the door behind him. There was a +certain determination in Lord Hurdly's manner and expression which +did not escape Bettina. She was sure that her revelation of her +identity had prompted some decisive course of action in his mind, but +what it was she could not guess from that inscrutable face. + +"I am now quite free for the morning," her companion said. "Naturally +there is much for us to say to each other. Will you not lay aside +your bonnet and wrap? The day is warm, and that heavy mourning must +distress you." + +Certainly his manner was kind. Bettina began to like him and to hope +for success in her object in coming here. Quickly unbuttoning her +black gloves, she unsheathed her lovely hands, which were bare of +rings. Then with a few deft motions she removed her outer wrap and +her bonnet with its long, thick veil. + +In so doing she revealed the fact that she had an exquisite head, +with delicious masses of brown hair which looked almost reddish in +its contrast to the dense black of her gown, the smooth severity of +which accentuated every lovely curve of her figure, as it would have +done every defect, had there been defect. This gown was fitted to her +so absolutely that one had the satisfying sense that one looked at +the woman instead of at her clothes. There were fine old portraits on +the wall, of noble ladies who had once done the honors of this great +establishment, but the fairest of them paled before the glowing +loveliness of this girl. For she looked a girl, despite her sombre +garments, and there was a certain timidity in her manner which +strengthened this impression. + +Lord Hurdly offered her a seat, and then took another, facing her. + +"In engaging yourself to marry Horace Spotswood," he began, +deliberately, "you have made the supreme, if not the irreparable, +mistake of your life." + +Bettina's white skin showed the sudden ebb of the blood in her veins +as he said these words. + +"Why?" she asked, concisely. + +"Because he is no match for you, and because your marrying him would +not only place you on a lower plane than where you belong, but it +would also so seriously injure his position in life that there would +be no possible chance for him to retrieve it until my death. I am +comparatively a young man, and likely to live a long time. Apart from +that, I may marry. I had no expectation or intention of doing so, but +his recent defiance of me has made me sometimes feel inclined to the +idea. I have so far changed in my feeling on this subject that if I +could meet and win a woman to my mind, I would marry at once. What +then would become of Horace? He has a mere pittance besides his pay, +which is a ridiculous sum for a man to marry on. He has wronged you +in putting you in such a position, and you have equally wronged him." + +Bettina had turned very white as he spoke. The picture he drew was +bad enough in itself, but to have it sketched before her in her +present surroundings made it infinitely worse. + +"If we have wronged each other, we have done it ignorantly," she +said. "He assured me that you were determined never to marry, and he +counted on your past kindness and your attachment to him--" + +She broke off, her voice shaken. + +"On the same ground I counted on him," said Lord Hurdly. "He was in +no position to marry against my will, and in engaging to do so he +defied me. Let him take the consequences." + +"Then you are determined not to relent?" Bettina faltered. "You will +not forgive him for the offence of proposing to make me his wife?" + +"I did not say that," returned Lord Hurdly, with a subtle change of +tone. "I certainly should not forgive him for marrying you, but for +proposing to do so I am ready enough to forgive him, provided he +comes to his senses at that point and goes no further. In that event +I am ready not only to continue the handsome income that I have +allowed him, but to give him outright the principal of it." + +Bettina had never pretended that she was deeply in love with Horace +Spotswood. Indeed, she had quite decided within herself that she was +incapable of such a state of feeling, and it was her belief that the +fervor and intensity of love which she had given to her mother had +taken the place of what some women give to their husbands. Still, she +looked upon her prospective marriage to him as one of the fixed facts +of the universe, and Lord Hurdly's words bewildered her. + +Keener than this surprise, however, was her sense of humiliation at +the implacable offence which Lord Hurdly had taken at his heir's +proposed marriage with herself. That he had wished Horace to marry +she knew; it was therefore the woman whom he had chosen that Lord +Hurdly resented. + +She rose to her feet, feeling herself giddy, and knowing that she was +white with agitation. Her one idea was to get away--to escape the +scrutiny of the intense gaze which was fixed upon her. + +"I must go. I beg your pardon for coming," she said, with a proud +coldness, reaching for her wrap. + +"You must not go. I owe you endless thanks for coming, and I will +show you that you have to congratulate yourself also on this +interview. If you went now, you would defeat all the good that may +come of it. Sit down, I beg of you, and hear me out." + +His manner was not only urgent, it was also kind, and nothing could +have been more respectful than his every look and tone. + +Bettina sat down again and waited. + +"What is it that has shocked you?" he said. "Is it because of your +great love for Horace--or is it his for you which you are thinking of +most?" + +"I do not see that I am bound to answer you that question," said +Bettina, proudly. "My reasons are sufficient for myself." + +"You are in no way bound, my dear young lady, but you would be wise +to answer me. I have every disposition to act as your friend in this +matter, and you would be making a mistake to turn away from me +without hearing what I have to say. If you are imagining that the +young fellow with whom you have an engagement of marriage would be +rendered inconsolable by the loss of you, when it would be made up to +him by the possession of a fortune, perhaps you overestimate things." + +"What things?" she said, still cold and withheld in her manner, her +pale face very set. + +"The unselfishness of man's love in general, and of this man's in +particular," he said; "and, for another thing, yourself. It seems a +brutal thing to say, but if you believe that that hotheaded, +undisciplined boy is capable of a sustained affection against such +odds of fortune as this case presents, then I disagree with you, and +I know him better than you do." + +Bettina's face flushed. + +"He does love me--he does!" she cried, in some agitation. "I have +been cold and careless toward him, and have told him that my heart +was buried in my mother's grave." At these words her voice trembled. +"He knows how hard it is for me to think of another kind of love just +yet; but he has been kindness itself, and has written me the dearest, +lovingest letters that ever a woman had. If they have been a little +rarer and colder lately, it is only because of my own shortcomings +toward him. I shall try to atone for them now. Since I realize how +great an injury I have done to him, I shall try to be his +compensation for it." + +"And you think you will succeed? I doubt it." + +Something in his manner impressed her in spite of herself. Perhaps he +saw that it was so, for he pushed his advantage. + +"Compare the length and opportunities of my intercourse with him and +yours," he said. "You would be acting the part of absolute folly not +to listen to me now. In the end you will be as free to act as you +were in the beginning. Only let me remind you that his future is +involved as well as your own." + +He saw that this argument told. + +"I am willing to listen," she said. + +"I am grateful to you," he answered, with that air of finished +politeness which makes the best graces of a young man seem crude, and +which Bettina was not too ignorant to appreciate at its proper value. + +"I have known Horace as child and boy and man--if he may yet be +called a man," he said, with a light touch of scorn. "You have known +him in one capacity and state only--that of a lover, a _rĂ´le_ he can +no doubt play very prettily, and one in which, despite his youth, he +is far from being unpractised. He has been in love oftener than it +behooves me to say or you to hear--quite harmless affairs, of course, +but they prove to one who has watched him as I have that his nature +is fickle and capricious. I confess that when I heard you say, just +now, that his letters of late had been rarer and less ardent, I could +not wholly attribute it to the reason which so quickly satisfied you. +As a rule, these intensely ardent feelings are not of long duration, +and I know well both the intensity and the brevity of Horace's +attacks of love. It was for this very reason that I so resented the +idea of his marrying without my advice. I foresaw that he would soon +weary of any woman. All the more reason, therefore, for his choosing +one who was suited to him, apart from the matter of his loving her. I +knew he had not the staying quality--that he was quite incapable of a +sustained affection. I therefore considered his taste in the matter +less than my own. As he was my heir in the event of my not marrying, +I felt that I had the right to demand that he should marry suitably +to his position." + +"I regret that he should have made an engagement which has +disappointed you," said Bettina, a slight curl at the corners of her +lips. + +"I regret it also; but you may remember that at the beginning of this +interview I spoke of this mistake on your part and on his as great, +though not perhaps irreparable." + +He was looking at her keenly, and he saw that his words had no effect +upon her except to mystify her. + +"I do not see any way to its reparation," she said, and was about to +continue, when he interrupted her. + +"I have pointed out the way--a rupture of the engagement by mutual +consent." + +"A consent that he would never give," said Bettina, with a certain +pride of confidence. + +"And you?" he asked. + +"Nor I either," she said, "unless I were convinced that he wished +it." + +"It would perhaps be not impossible to convince you of that, granted +a little time," said Lord Hurdly. "But, apart from his wish, have you +no consideration for his interest? His position in diplomacy is at +present insignificant, but he has talents and a chance to rise, +unless that chance be utterly frustrated by his embarrassing himself +with a family--a condition that would be death to his career. Ask any +one you choose, and they will tell you that there cannot be two +opinions about this. Besides, through my help he has been able to +live like a man of fortune. His allowance, however, will be stopped +on the day of his marriage, if he persists in such a course. If he +abandons it, he will find himself with the principal as well as the +interest at his disposal. So situated, he has every chance to rise. +Under the other conditions, he inevitably falls. What would become of +him ultimately is too dreary a line of conjecture to dwell upon." + +Bettina's face was paler still. The tears sprang to her eyes--tears +of mortification and keen regret. The thought of her mother pierced +through her, and the consciousness that she had no longer the refuge +of that gentle heart to cast herself upon almost overcame her. Pride +lent her aid, however, and she rallied quickly. + +"You have fully demonstrated to me," she said, "that I have injured +your cousin in promising to marry him. I did it in ignorance, +however. With the facts before me which you have just given, I should +perhaps have acted differently. Regret now, however, is useless." + +"On the contrary, this is one of the rare cases in which regret is +not useless. The reparation of your mistake is in your own hands." + +The possibility of doing what he urged flashed through Bettina's +mind. Horace would certainly be infinitely better off without her, in +every rational and material sense; and at this stage of Bettina's +development the rational and material were predominant. But what of +her, apart from Horace? This thought found vent in words. + +"You have been looking at this subject from your own point of view," +she said, "and perhaps naturally. I must, however, think of an aspect +of the case in which you have no interest. I am absolutely alone in +the world, and if, for your cousin's sake, I made this sacrifice--" + +In spite of herself her voice faltered. + +Lord Hurdly drew his chair a little nearer to her. His eyes were +fixed upon her with a yet more intent gaze as he said, with +directness and decision: + +"You are quite mistaken. It is this aspect of the case which concerns +me chiefly. If, as is undoubtedly true, the prevention of this most +mistaken marriage would be an advantage to Horace, to you it may be a +far greater gain, and to me it may be the fulfilment of all that I +have ever desired in life." + +"What do you mean?" she said, bewildered. + +"I mean that the supreme desire of my heart is, and has been from the +moment my eyes rested on you, to make you Lady Hurdly absolutely and +at once, instead of your waiting for a name and position which, after +all, may never come to you." + +Her heart beat so that her breathing came in smothered gasps. The +piercing demand of his eyes was almost terrifying to her. She saw +that he was absolutely in earnest, and the commiseration which she +felt for Horace struggled with the dazzling temptation which this +opportunity offered to that strong ambition which was so great an +element in her essential nature. + +"Do not be shocked or startled by the suddenness of my proposal," he +said. "I trust that you will come to see that it is eminently wise +and reasonable. When I said the marriage was an unsuitable one, I was +thinking more of you than of Horace. Your beauty, your manner, your +voice, your words, your whole ego and personality, show you to have +been born for a great position. It is a case of manifest destiny. The +fortune and the social rank that I can bestow are all too little for +you; I should like to be able to put a queen's crown on your +beautiful head. But such as I am--a man who has made his impression +on the current history of his country, and who, though no longer +young in the crude sense that counts only by months and years, is +still by no means old--and such things as I have and can command, I +lay at your feet, begging you humbly to impart to them a value which +they have never had before, by accepting them and becoming the sharer +of my name, my position, and my fortune, and the mistress of my +heart." + +He had risen and was standing in front of her with the resolution of +a strong purpose in his eyes. But she could not meet them, those +dominating, searching eyes. The thoughts that his words had given +rise to were too agitating, too uncertain, too tormenting to her. The +thought of giving Horace up pained her more than she would have +believed, while the vision of the grandeur so urged upon her, which +not ten minutes gone she had seen dashed like a full beaker from her +thirsty lips, tormented her as well. It was to her a vast sacrifice +to think of resigning such possibilities, yet at the first she had no +other thought but to resign them. The arguments for Horace's future +career which had been urged upon her also played their part in her +consciousness now, and the seething confusion of images in her brain +made her senses swim. + +Lord Hurdly must have seen her agitation, for he hastened to say: + +"I have been too hasty. You must forgive me. Do not try to answer me +at present. I see that you are overwrought. Let me beseech you to +rest a little while. I will send for the housekeeper." + +"No, no! I must go," she answered, starting to her feet. But she had +overestimated her strength. She sank back in her chair. + +He went himself and brought her a glass of wine, talking to her with +a soothing reassurance as she drank it. He reproached himself for +having been too hurried, too rash, but pleaded the earnestness of his +hopes as an excuse. When she had taken the wine she wanted to go, but +he entreated her so humbly not to punish him too deeply for his fault +that when he begged her to let him call the housekeeper to sit with +her until luncheon, which he implored her to take before leaving, she +acquiesced, too fagged out mentally to take any decided position of +her own. + +To the housekeeper Lord Hurdly explained that this lady was in deep +trouble--a fact sufficiently attested by her heavy mourning--and +would like to rest awhile before eating some luncheon. Bettina saw +herself regarded with a respectful awe which she had never had a +taste of before. The housekeeper, with the sweetest of voices and +kindest of manners, promised to do all in her power, and Lord Hurdly +withdrew. + +[Illustration: "SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR"] + +Bettina could not talk. She lay back on the lounge and submitted to +be gently fanned and having salts occasionally held to her nose. But +all her effort was to compose her thoughts--a difficult attempt, as +the image of her mother was the one which insisted on taking the +pre-eminence in her mind. She ordered it down, with a sort of +bitterness. Had her mother been alive, she would have gladly fled +from this puzzle into which her life had tangled itself, and gone +back to America to rest and mother-love. So she told herself, at +least. But then followed the reflection that in her mother's death +the refuge of love's calm and protection was gone from her forever, +and that she must either remain in Europe under one or the other of +the two conditions offered her, or else resign herself to the apathy +of despair. + +It was not in her to do this, and the brilliant possibilities which +Lord Hurdly had suggested flashed into her mind, and so excited her +that she suddenly rose to her feet and announced that her slight +indisposition was past, asking the housekeeper to take her somewhere +to rearrange her hair and prepare herself for luncheon. + +Even had Bettina been the possessor of a happy heart which rejoiced +in a fulfilled and contented love for the man she had promised to +marry, the other, dominating side of her nature could not have been +quite stifled as she walked through the halls and corridors of this +magnificent mansion. These were things her imagination had always +pictured as her proper position in life, and which the unregenerate +heart within her had always craved. But how far beyond her ignorant +dreams was the grand repose of this beautiful house! It was so much +more than she had conceived that the new supply to her senses seemed, +in a way, to create a new demand in them. + +Never, perhaps, had she so appreciated what it must be to be a +_grande dame_ as to-day, when she was on the point of refusing such +an opportunity, though it was just within her grasp. For she had no +idea but that she should refuse it, and this very consciousness made +her more friendly in her feelings and actions toward Lord Hurdly than +she would otherwise have been. + +When she had adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair, before large +mirrors which gave her a better view of her loveliness than she had +ever had before, a servant summoned her to luncheon, and at the foot +of the stairs she saw Lord Hurdly awaiting her. + +So seen, a decided baldness, which she had not much noticed before, +became evident, but there was a certain distinction in the man's +general air which this rather seemed to heighten. His manner of +delicate solicitude for her was the perfection of good-breeding, and +when she answered him reassuringly, and walked by his side to the +dining-room, a sudden conviction seized her that she had come into +her own--that this was the position for which she had been born, and +that, independent of the fact that she had determined to decline it, +it was her fate, which she could not escape. She tried to coax the +belief that it was as Horace's wife that she would one day enjoy all +these delights, but the thought eluded her. She could not see Horace +in the seat now filled by his cousin. In imagination as well as in +reality it was Lord Hurdly who occupied that seat. + +This conviction, which every moment deepened, she could not shake off +and could not account for. She had a feeling that it was forced upon +her consciousness through some dominating power of Lord Hurdly's +spirit over her own. She felt as if she were hypnotized. She wondered +if it could be so, and if she would presently come to herself and +find that it was all a delusion and she had never seen Lord Hurdly or +his house, but was on her way to St. Petersburg to join Horace and +settle down to a limited and economical way of living. + +At this thought her heart fell. She had laid her hand upon this +dazzling prize of worldly wealth and position. Could she let it go? + +During luncheon no reference was made to the subject of their late +conversation. The servants remained in the room, and Lord Hurdly +talked of public and quite impersonal affairs. In so doing he showed +a trenchant insight, a broad knowledge of the world, an undeniably +powerful mentality, and a decided skill in the art of pleasing. If +the tone of his talk was cynical, it found, for that very reason, all +the clearer echo in Bettina's heart. A certain tendency to cynicism +was inborn in her, and the bitterness she felt at the loss of her +mother had accentuated this. What was the use of loving, she asked +herself, when love must end like this? In her heart she passionately +hoped that she might never love again. And she had also a shrinking +from being loved in any ardent manner that might make demands upon +her which she could not respond to. + +When the time came for Bettina to leave, she found that the cab in +which she had come had been sent away, and, in its place, Lord +Hurdly's brougham waited for her. He escorted her himself to the +carriage door, and when the great footman who held it open touched +his hat in silence as he took her orders, and then mounted beside his +twin brother on the box and she was bowled away, on padded cushions +from which emanated a delicious odor of fine leather, Bettina felt +that, for the first time in her life, she was in her proper element. + +The events of the morning seemed to her like some agitating dream. +She wondered how long it had been since she left her hotel, and tried +to guess what time it was. As she did so, her eyes fell on the small +clock, neatly encased in the leather upholstering of the carriage +just in front of her. The fitness of this object and of everything +about her gave her a delicious sense of adaptation to her environment +which she had never had before. + +When she got out at her hotel, the footman, with the same salute of +ineffable respect, said that his lordship had told him to ask if she +had any further orders for the carriage to-day or to-morrow. She +declined the offer, but, none the less, she felt flattered by the +attention. + +Lord Hurdly's only further reference to their last conversation had +been to ask her to pay his words the respect of a few days' +consideration at least. He had learned from her that Horace was +unaware of her being in England, and that she had a whole week at her +disposal before he would expect to meet her there. When he asked for +a part of that week, in which to give him the opportunity to prove to +her that her duty to Horace, as well as to herself, demanded the +rupture of this mistaken engagement, she was sufficiently influenced +by the subtlety of this appeal to grant his request. + +To her surprise, several days went by, and he did not come to see her +nor write. Every morning the carriage was sent to the hotel and the +footman came to her door for orders, but she always answered that she +did not require it. Every morning, also, came a lavish offering of +flowers, the great exotic flowers which Bettina loved--huge, +heavy-petalled roses and green translucent-looking orchids. But, +except for these, he did not thrust himself upon her notice--a fact +which during the first and second days she gave him the greatest +credit for, but by the third had grown to feel a certain resentment +at. + +In the mean time there had followed her from home a letter from +Horace. It was the coldest she had ever had from him, and set her to +thinking deeply as to the possible cause of his coldness. Could it +be, she asked herself, that Lord Hurdly was right in calling him +capricious? Had he--as was possible, of course--cooled in his ardor +for her, and come to see that this hasty engagement of his had been a +great mistake, as she herself had come to see? + +For this point, at least, Bettina had positively reached. Why, +therefore, should she adhere to her engagement in the face of the +knowledge that such an adherence would be to his disadvantage, no +less than to hers? + +These arguments would have quite prevailed with her but for one +thing. This was the conviction, not yet changed, though somewhat +shaken by Lord Hurdly's account of him, that Horace really loved her +and would suffer in losing her. + +Deprived of the restraint of her mother's influence, Bettina had +progressed with rapidity in her way toward worldliness and selfish +ambition, but she had a heart. Her love for her mother had given +abundant proof of that, if there were nothing else; and now her heart +combated the influence of her head, which decreed that only a fool +would reject the great good fortune now held out to her. + +In point of fact, Bettina had been influenced more by ambition than +by love in engaging herself to Horace, and the gratification of a far +more splendid ambition was offered to her in making this other +marriage. In it, also, love would play but little part, and this she +felt to be decidedly a gain. Yet she was not so far lost to the +sentiments of kindness and loyalty, that she had learned from the +teaching and example of her mother, as not to hesitate before +wounding and humiliating the man who, as she still believed, loved +her devotedly. Could it have been proved that she was mistaken in so +believing, Lord Hurdly's case would have been already won. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +In the end Lord Hurdly prevailed, and that end was swifter in coming +than Bettina would have believed to be possible. She had allowed +herself a week to wait in London, and for the first day or two of +that week she lived in dread lest Lord Hurdly should come to her and +renew the arguments which she was quite determined to combat. As the +days passed and he did not come, she began to fear that the +opportunity of final decision on the momentous question of her choice +between these two men would not again be offered her. Her better +nature still held her to her pledge to Horace, but already she had +come to feel that, but for his disappointment at losing her, she +would have accepted Lord Hurdly's proposal, as it offered a full and +immediate fulfilment of her dreams of ambition, and the other +postponed these indefinitely, while it promised comparatively little +in any other direction. + +Toward the end of the week Lord Hurdly called, and, without any +reference to his own hopes and intentions, spoke, with what seemed to +be a considerable hesitation and regret, of his young cousin's +character and mode of life, which he declared were known, to every +one except Bettina, to be exceedingly capricious--even light. He +dwelt upon the fact, well known to Bettina, of his earnest desire +that his cousin and heir should marry, and gave as a reason for this +desire, what he declared to be the accepted fact, that Horace was +inclined to a dissipated manner of living, which he hoped marriage +might correct. + +Poor Bettina! She had believed the young man, to whom she had pledged +herself, to be the very opposite of all this. Yet how absolutely +ignorant concerning him she really was! And the rector of her church, +who was supposed to vouch for him, knew in reality as little as she. +How easily she might have been mistaken in him! And yet, and yet, +there was a still, small voice in her heart which confirmed her in +her resolve to believe in him until she had proof that such a belief +was ill founded. + +"With his past I have nothing to do," she said to Lord Hurdly, with a +certain show of pride. "If it has been lower than my ideal of him, I +regret it; but I am entirely sure that since he has known me and had +my promise to be his wife he has been true to all that that promise +required of him." + +"This being your conclusion," Lord Hurdly answered, "you force upon +me the necessity of showing you a letter which I have to-day received +from a friend in St. Petersburg, and which I would, without strong +reason to the contrary, have gladly spared you the pain of reading." +With these words, he handed Bettina a letter. + +It was signed with a name unknown to her, but written evidently in +the tone and manner of an intimate friend. The first page or two +referred to matters wholly indifferent to her--public affairs and the +like--but toward the end were these words: + + "Are you as set as ever in your determination not to marry? + Pity it is that such a noble name and fortune as yours + should not pass on to a son of your own, instead of to one + who, it is to be feared, will do little to honor it. I see + him here, at court and everywhere, accurately fulfilling + the rather unflattering predictions which I long ago made + concerning him. There is a story that he became engaged to + be married during his travels in America, and I hear that he + owns up to it and speaks of being joined by his _fiancĂ©e_ + and married on this side. I hope it may not be so. Certainly + his present manner of living argues against the rumor, + unless--a supposition I am reluctant to believe--he proposes + to keep up, as a married man, the habits which are so + readily forgiven to a bachelor, though not to a husband." + +There was more, but Bettina read no further. This was enough. She had +turned away to a window, that she might read this letter unobserved +by Lord Hurdly, who had considerately walked to the other end of the +room. + +When at last she approached him and gave him back the letter, she was +very pale, but her manner was wholly without indecision and her voice +was resolute as she said: + +"I thank you, Lord Hurdly, for the service which you have rendered +me. This letter has made my future course quite clear. I shall write +to your cousin to-day that everything is at an end between us. And +now will you be good enough to leave me? I wish to make my +arrangements to return to America at once." + +Even as she said the words, the bitter barrenness of this +prospect--the old dull life, without the dear presence which had been +its one and sufficient palliation--rose before her mind and appalled +her. Perhaps Lord Hurdly saw in her face some change of expression +which he construed as favorable to himself, for he hastened to say: + +"Will you not, before taking so rash a step, consider the proposal +which I have made to you? I can offer you the substance of which the +other was only the shadow, and I can pledge to you the stable and +unalterable devotion of a man who has lived long enough to know his +own mind, and who declares to you that you are the only woman whom he +has ever desired to put in the position of his wife." + +It was impossible not to feel some consciousness of satisfaction at a +tribute which her own knowledge of facts convinced her to be sincere, +but Bettina's heart and mind were still too preoccupied to meet him +in the way he wished. She repeated her request that he would leave +her, and so earnest and distressed was her manner that he complied, +leaving behind him an impression of the deepest solicitude for her, +and the most earnest desire on his part to atone for the wrong which +his kinsman had done her. + +Bettina threw herself upon the lounge and abandoned herself to a fit +of weeping--so overwhelming, so despairing, so heart-breaking that +she could scarcely believe that she, who had thought that all her +power of deep suffering had been exhausted, could still find it in +her to care so much for any other grief. + +The worst of it was that, now it was quite evident that she was +forever divided from Horace, the charm of his manner and appearance, +the tenderness of his love-making, came back to her with a power +which they had never exercised upon her in reality. Never, surely, +had a man existed who was, to appearance at least, more frank, +sincere, ardent, and deeply in love than he had seemed to be with +her. It made his perfidy appear the greater. Nothing but the sight of +that letter could have made her believe it; but that, taken in +connection with the rareness and coolness of his recent letters to +her, made it all too plain that the ardent flame of his love had +burned out, and that he had repented his impetuosity, now that he had +had time to think of the sacrifice which it entailed. + +This was indeed great for a man in his position, ambitious in his +career, and with his foot already on the ladder that led to success. +She even began to doubt whether he would have fulfilled his +obligations to her when it came to the point. + +She got out his letters and read them over. How passionately loving +were the early ones--how cool and constrained the more recent! The +contrast struck her far more now in the light of recent events. It +really seemed as if he might be trying to get out of the engagement. + +At this thought pride came to her rescue. She felt herself grow hard +and cold, and her composure returned completely. She would never let +him know what she had heard, for that might make it seem as if she +gave him up from compulsion. She sat down and wrote quickly a few +formal sentences, saying that she had mistaken her own feelings, and +that she wished to break the engagement. She added that she was +returning immediately to America, as indeed she was intending to do +at the time of the writing of this letter. + +After it had gone, and was on its way to St. Petersburg, a mental +condition of such abject misery settled down upon her that the +thought of the endless days and nights of idle monotony which would +be her lot if she returned home, and the awful void of her mother's +absence, became intolerable. She could not do it. She must find some +way of escape from such a fate. + +Just as she was casting about for such a way, Lord Hurdly came to +see her. The escape which he offered had in it many elements of the +strongest attractiveness for her. Since she could not be happy, as +she believed, why might she not get from life the satisfaction which +comes from the holding of a great position, the opportunity of being +admired and wielding a powerful influence? It was a prospect which +had always charmed her; and now, with no alternative but lonely +isolation and bitter weariness, was it strange that she decided to +accept Lord Hurdly's offer? + +And if it was to be, what need was there to wait? Wounded in her +pride as she was by the revelation of Horace which she had received, +she relished the idea of becoming at once what he had proposed to +make her--and afterward repented of. She was fully convinced in her +mind that he had repented, and her blood beat faster as she thought +of his consternation on hearing of this marriage. She felt eager that +he should hear of it at once. + +And so indeed he did. On the heels of his receipt of Bettina's letter +her marriage to Lord Hurdly was announced by cable--not to him, but +through the newspapers. + +Then into his heart there entered also the exceeding bitterness of a +lost ideal. She became to him, as he had become to her, the image of +broken faith, capricious feeling, and overweening worldly ambition. + +Yet in the heart of the man, who had loved completely and supremely, +as Bettina never had, there was a feeling which made him say to +himself, with a conviction which he knew to be immutable, that +marriage was not for him. The present Lord Hurdly had said the same, +and had changed his mind. For himself he knew that he should not, for +all of love that he was capable of feeling had been given to the +woman who had cast him off. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Bettina had gone through her first London season as Lady Hurdly, and +certainly no girl's ambitious dreams could have forecast a more +brilliant experience. She had been far too ignorant to imagine such +subtle delights of the senses as resulted from the wealth and +eminence which she had attained to in marrying Lord Hurdly. And +beyond the mere sensuous appeal which was made to her by the wearing +of magnificent clothes and jewels, and the being always surrounded +with objects of beauty and means of luxury, she had the greater +delight of having her feverishly active mind continually supplied +with a stimulus, which it now more than ever needed. This was +furnished by the innumerable social demands made upon her, and the +complete power which she felt within herself to respond to them not +only creditably, but in a way that should make even Lord Hurdly +wonder at her. + +True, she had had no social training, and in a less powerful position +she might have shown her ignorance and incapacity, for she would then +have had to take a personal supervision of the things which she now +left utterly alone, and which, being essential to be done, were +done--how and by whom she did not ask. Lord Hurdly had so long done +the honors of his house without a wife that it was natural to him to +continue the direction of household affairs, with the aid of the +accomplished assistants who were in his employment; so Bettina had no +more to do with such matters than if she had become the mistress of a +royal household. At the proper time she showed herself at Lord +Hurdly's side, and she had beauty enough and wit enough not only to +do credit to that high position, but to cast a glory over it which he +knew in his heart no other Lady Hurdly of them all had ever done. + +That she enjoyed it, who could doubt that saw her, day after day and +evening after evening, beautifying with her presence the social +gatherings at her own splendid house, and at those of the new +acquaintances who sought her society and distinguished her with their +attentions wherever she might go. + +Having had no experience of wealth, it never seemed to occur to her +that it could have its definite limit, and she ordered costumes and +invented ways of spending money which sometimes surprised her lord, +but which also pleased him. His fortune was so large, and had been so +long without such demands upon it, that it was a source of genuine +satisfaction to him to see that Bettina knew how to avail herself of +her brilliant opportunity. Save and except a wife, he was already +possessed of every adjunct that could do credit to his name and +position, and in marrying Bettina he had been largely influenced by +the fact that she was qualified to supply this one deficiency with a +distinction which no other woman he had ever seen could have bestowed +upon the position. + +So, to the world, Bettina seemed completely satisfied, and in the +worldly sense she was so. In this sense, also, Lord Hurdly seemed and +was satisfied in his marriage. How it was with them in their hearts +no one knew, and perhaps there was no one who cared to know. The one +being to whom this question was of strong interest was very far away. +He had shifted his position from Russia to India about the time of +his cousin's marriage, and Bettina never heard his name mentioned, +nor did she ever utter it. + +After the London season was over, Lord and Lady Hurdly had moved +from their town-house to the family seat, Kingdon Hall. Here, after +a day's stop, Lord Hurdly had left her, to return to town on some +public business; and so, for the first time since her marriage, she +had a few days to herself. Later they were to have the house filled +with guests, and after that to make some visits; so this time of +solitude was not likely to be repeated soon. Bettina was surprised +at herself to see how eagerly she clutched at it. It was, in some +faint degree, like the feeling which she had had after the rare and +short separations from her mother--a longing to get back to the +familiar and the accustomed. She now felt somewhat the same longing +to get back to herself. She had done her part in all that brilliant +pageant like a woman in a dream. She had enjoyed it, for power and +admiration were very dear to her, and she had revelled in their fresh +first-fruits. But she had not been herself for so long, had not for +so long looked herself in the face and searched her own heart, that +she did not know herself much more familiarly than she knew the other +brilliant personages who moved beside her across the crowded stage of +London life. + +It was unaccountable even to herself how she rejoiced at the idea of +these few days of quiet and solitude. Nora, her old nurse, was of +course with her still, with a French maid to assist her and perform +the important functions of the toilet of which the elderly woman was +ignorant. This maid Bettina sent off on a holiday, so that she might +have only Nora about her. + +The morning after her arrival at Kingdon, Bettina, having breakfasted +in her room, went for a ramble over the house. It seemed solemnly +vast and empty, and she would have lost herself many times had she +not encountered now and then a courtesying house-maid or an +obsequious footman, who answered her inquiries and told her into what +apartments she had strayed. + +"Show me the way to the picture-gallery," she said to one of these, +"and then tell the housekeeper to come to me there presently." + +She had taken a fancy to this white-haired old woman the night +before, when Lord Hurdly had presented the servants to their new +mistress in the great hall, where they had all been assembled to +receive her on her arrival. + +In a few moments she found herself alone in the stately gallery, +going from picture to picture. On one side was a long line of the +ladies of Kingdon Hall, painted by contemporary artists, each +celebrated in his era. At the end of this line her own portrait, done +by a celebrated French painter who had come to London for the +purpose, had recently been put in place. + +It was a magnificent thing in its manner as well as in its subject, +and the costume which Lord Hurdly's taste had conceived for her and a +French milliner had carried out was a marvel of rich effects. As she +paused in front of it her lips parted, and she said, whispering to +herself, + +"Lady Hurdly--the present Lady Hurdly! And what has become of +Bettina?" + +As she asked herself this question she sighed. + +A sudden instinct made her move away. She wanted to escape from Lady +Hurdly. She had a chance to be herself to-day, and she felt a strong +desire to make the most of it. + +Hearing a sound at her side, she turned and found the serious, +pleasant face of the housekeeper near her. + +"Good-morning, my lady," she said, gently, in answer to Bettina's +friendly salutation. "Will your ladyship not have a shawl? This room +is always cool, no matter what the weather is." + +Bettina declined the wrap, but passed on to the next picture, +requesting the woman to come with her and act as cicerone. + +"What is your name? I ought to know it," she said. + +"Parlett, your ladyship." + +"And how long have you lived here, Parlett?" + +"Over forty years, my lady. I was here in the old lord's time. That +is his picture, with his lady next to him." + +Bettina looked with interest at the two pictures designated. + +"He is thought to be very much like his present lordship," said the +housekeeper. + +"Yes, I see it," said Bettina, feeling an instinct to guard her +countenance. Here were the same keen eyes, the same resolute jaw, the +same thin lips and hard lines about the mouth. Only in the older face +they were yet more accentuated, and instead of the not unbecoming +thinness of hair which showed in the son, there was a frank expanse +of bald head which made his features all the harder. + +Hurrying away from the contemplation of this portrait, Bettina turned +to its companion. Here she encountered a face and form which were +truly all womanly, if by womanliness is meant abject submission and +self-effacement. The poor little lady looked patiently hopeless, and +her deprecating air seemed the last in the world calculated to hold +its own against such a lord. That she had not done so--of her own +full surrender of herself, in mind and soul and body--the picture +seemed a plain representation. + +"Poor woman! She looks as if she had suffered," said Bettina. + +"Oh yes, my lady," Parlett answered, as if divided between the +inclination to talk and the duty to be silent. + +"She was unhappy, then?" said Bettina. "You need not hesitate to +answer. His lordship has told me what a trusted servant of the family +you are, and I shall treat you as such. You need not fear to speak to +me quite freely." + +"Yes, my lady, she had a great deal of sadness in her life," went on +the housekeeper, thus encouraged. "She had six daughters before she +had a son, and this was naturally a disappointment to his lordship. +One after the other these children died, which grieved her ladyship +sorely, for she was a very devoted mother. His lordship had never +noticed them much, being angry at not having an heir, and this made +my lady all the fonder of them. She had little constitution herself, +and the children were sickly. At last, however, an heir was born, but +her ladyship died at his birth. It seemed a pity, my lady, did it +not? For his lordship was greatly pleased with the heir, and, of +course, my lady would have been much happier after that." + +Bettina did not answer. The evident reasonableness of the father's +position, in the eyes of this good and gentle woman, made it +impossible for her to speak without dissent to such an atrocity as +Lord Hurdly's attitude seemed to her. So she moved away, and the +woman took the hint and said no more. + +A little distance off, at the end of the long room, she had caught +sight of an object that made her heart beat suddenly. She did no more +than glance at it, and then returned to the contemplation of the +picture before which she was standing. But she had recognized Horace +Spotswood in the tall stripling of perhaps fifteen who stood in +riding-clothes at the side of a pawing gray horse. + +By the time she had made her way to it, in its regular succession, +she had quite recovered her calmness and had made up her mind as to +her course. + +"And who is this handsome boy?" she said, with perfect +self-possession, as they stood before the large canvas. + +[Illustration: "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'"] + +"That is Mr. Horace, my lady," said the woman, a sudden tone of +emotion mingling with the deference in her voice as her eyes dwelt +on the picture fondly. + +And who could wonder at this? Surely a more winsome lad had never +been seen. He was even then tall, and in his riding coat and breeches +looked strangely slender, in contrast to the broad-shouldered +physique which she had lately known so well. But the eyes were just +the same--direct, frank, eager eyes, which looked straight at you and +seemed to make a demand upon you to be as open and frank in return. + +Had Bettina searched the world, she could not, as she knew, have +found a more significant contrast than the comparison of the honest +eyes with the guarded, cold, inscrutable ones into which it was now +her lot to look so often. + +"Have you known him a long time?" she asked, pleasantly, as the woman +remained silent. + +"Oh, since he was a little lad, my lady! We all love Mr. Horace here. +He is the handsomest and kindest young gentleman in the world, and +he's that good to me that I couldn't be fonder of my own son, not +forgetting the difference, my lady." + +Bettina detected a tone of regretfulness in the woman's voice, and +also, she thought, an effort to conceal it. If there was a feeling +akin to this regret in her own heart, she also must conceal it. These +allusions to the handsome, enthusiastic young fellow to whom she had +promised herself in marriage had stirred her deeply. The idea of any +one, servant or equal, speaking in this way of the man who was her +husband, at any time in his life, gave her a nervous desire to laugh. +It was followed by an equally nervous impulse to cry. + +Walking ahead of the housekeeper, she gained a moment's opportunity +for the recovery of her self-control, and she made good use of it. + +"Parlett," she said, presently, "I do not want you to think that in +marrying Lord Hurdly I have done an injury to Mr. Spotswood." In +spite of herself, her voice shook at the name. + +"Oh no, my lady--" began Parlett, but her mistress interrupted her, +saying, quickly: + +"Of course he always knew that his lordship might marry, and could +not have been unprepared for such a possibility; but in order that he +might feel no difference in his present position on that account, +Lord Hurdly has settled on him what is really a handsome fortune--not +only the income of it, but the principal also. I tell you this that +you may understand that he is none the worse off, so far as money +goes, through his cousin's marriage to me." + +"Yes, my lady. I understand, my lady. Thank you for telling me," said +Parlett, somewhat nervously. "Of course every one knows that you have +done him no harm, my lady, and we knew, of course, that his lordship +would do the handsome thing by him." + +Somehow these civil, reassuring words smote painfully upon Bettina's +consciousness. When this woman spoke so confidently of Lord Hurdly's +doing the handsome thing by his former heir, she felt it to be the +hollow tribute of a conventional loyalty, and the assurance that it +was understood that she herself had done him no harm grated on her +also. Now that she was quite alone and free to think things out, as +she had shrunk from doing heretofore, and as, in the rush of the +London season, she had been able to avoid doing, she felt a sense of +compunction toward Horace that seriously depressed her. + +Dismissing the housekeeper, she put on a shade-hat and went for a +ramble in the park. How beautiful it was! What shrubs, what trees, +what undulations of rich emerald turf! She could not in the least +feel that she had any right in it all. But how must a creature love +it who had looked upon its noble beauties from childhood up to +youth, and on to manhood, with the belief that it would some day be +his own! She could not stifle the feeling that she had wronged that +being if by her marriage she should be the means of depriving him of +such a fortune and position, and deep, deep down in her consciousness +she had a boding fear that, if all things hidden could be revealed, +it might be shown that in a keener sense than this she had also +wronged him. + +For marriage had been in many ways an illumination to Bettina. The +revelation of her own heart which it had given her was one which she +tried hard to shut her eyes to. Twice she had consented to the idea +of marrying without love. Once she had actually done this thing. Only +her own heart knew what had been the consequences to her. But of one +thing she had often felt glad. This was that she had not entered into +a loveless marriage with a man who had loved her as she had believed +Horace did at the time he had so ardently wooed her. From such a +wrong as that might she be delivered! + +As her thoughts now dwelt on Horace and the circumstances of their +brief past together, the memory of his honest, tender, self-forgetful +attitude toward her recurred to her half wistfully, in contrast to +her recent experiences. Lord Hurdly's manner toward her had, in +truth, changed from the very hour of their marriage. He no longer had +the air of a solicitous suitor, but took at once that of the assured +husband and master. It made her think what she had heard of his +father and of his poor little mother's history. Not that she could +fancy herself becoming, under any circumstances, a Griselda; though +she could without difficulty imagine him in his father's _rĂ´le_. + +But what right had she, she asked herself, to expect to reap where +she had not sown? She had married for money and position, and she had +got them. What more had she expected? + +Nothing more, perhaps; but in one point she had been +disappointed--namely, in the power of these things to give her what +she longed for, and what she could define only under the indefinite +term happiness. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Bettina's talk with Parlett had set her mind to working very actively +in a direction in which she had not allowed it to stray before. The +thought of Horace always brought a sense of pain and spiritual +discomfort to her, which she instinctively desired to shake off; and +in the restless whirl of London life, which left her little time for +thought of any kind, she had not much difficulty in doing so. + +Now, however, she had nothing to do but to think and to become +acquainted with her new possessions, the latter occupation being a +strong stimulus to the former. There were many associations with +Horace at Kingdon Hall. It was extraordinary how many things that he +had told her in connection with this place came back to her. She +was constantly recognizing pictures or persons or names with which +he had made her familiar. The persons were, of course, the servants, +steward, tenants, and the like, for she had seen no others. Even +in walking about the lawn she had found his initials cut on trees, +and the very dogs which joined her when she would go out for her +walks had names on their collars that she knew. There was one, a +magnificent Great Dane, which bore Horace's name there as well as his +own. This dog, Comrade, she had heard Horace speak of with a special +affection. + +True, Kingdon Hall had never been Horace's home, but he had grown up +with the idea that it might be, and since coming to manhood had felt +wellnigh secure that it would be. All his life he had been in the +habit of making visits here, and the impression which he had left +behind him was almost surprising to Bettina. + +The place in which this impression was strongest was in the hearts of +the servants. Bettina, through Nora, had assured herself of this. The +devoted servant, who had the sole object in life of serving her +beloved mistress, had, by Bettina's orders, informed herself on this +point, and all that she gathered in the servants' hall she retailed +to Bettina in her room. Nora, like every one else, had been won by +Horace's manner and appearance, but, of course, when her mistress had +drawn off from him, she had no idea of anything but acceptance of the +changed conditions. Still, she was inwardly delighted when Bettina +explained to her how anxious she was to learn all that she could +about Mr. Horace, so that she might lose no opportunity of furthering +his interest with Lord Hurdly, and making up to him, as far as +possible, for having disappointed him in his worldly prospects by +marrying his cousin. + +That he could hold her accountable for any other wrong to him she did +not admit. At times the memory of his fresh and buoyant youth, in so +great contrast to the jaded maturity of his cousin, knocked at the +door of her heart, and the ardent expressions of his worshipping, +passionate love for her echoed there with a distinctness that amazed +her. + +Surely he had loved her--this she could not doubt. But if his love +had been so slight that a few months of absence had cooled it, and of +so poor a quality that a new caprice had taken its place so soon, she +was well rid of it. That this had been so the letter which Lord +Hurdly had shown her sufficiently attested, and she must guard +herself against the folly of sentimental regrets. + +It was not Horace that she regretted. It was only the ideal of the +love between man and woman which her brief intercourse with him had +held up to her. She had seen love in a different guise since +then--or what went by the name of love--and surely the contrast must +have had a deeper root than the mere difference between youth and +middle-age. + +It was not often that Bettina allowed herself to think of these +things. But now, in her solitude and idleness, visions would come of +the eager lover, strong as a young Narcissus, who represented love in +such a simple, wholesome guise--or at least so it had seemed to be. +Then she would shake off the image, and tell herself it was but +seeming, as the result had proved, and so she would accuse herself of +weakness and sentimentality. These thoughts were getting to be +inconvenient. They haunted her too persistently, and at last she +began to wish for the time to come when her days would again be too +crowded with engagements for her to indulge in such foolish +reflections. + +The truth was, deep down in Bettina's heart there was a fear which +she could not wholly still in any waking hour. She could and did +refuse to recognize it, even in her own soul; but there it was, and +there it remained, to rise again and again, and almost stifle her +with the sinister possibility which it suggested. + +This fear was based upon the clearer knowledge of Lord Hurdly's +character which had come to her since marriage. She had found in him +an inexorable resolution to have what he wanted in life, which had +rendered him, more than once within her knowledge, unscrupulous as to +the means he used in the securing of his ends. This it was which had +planted in her mind the awful though remote possibility of his having +been, in some manner, insincere in his representations of Horace's +nature and character. + +But then there was the letter from his friend which she had seen with +her own eyes, with the St. Petersburg mark, so familiar to her, on +the envelope, and which had been written by a person who could not +have known that she would ever see it. Surely that was enough to +settle all doubts as to the character and conduct of the man to whom +she had first pledged herself in marriage, and she had at least the +satisfaction of knowing that her present husband could be charged +with no such faults. His indifference to her sex was proverbial in +society, and that she alone, of all the women he had seen--so many of +whom had angled for him openly--had been able to do away with his +aversion to marriage was a tribute in which she could not help +feeling a certain pride, the more so as she saw every day new proofs +of his fastidiousness, as well as his importance. + +So she stifled this dread suggestion and forced her thoughts into +other channels. This was to be more easily accomplished when her body +was actively employed; so she took long rides on horseback, attended +by a groom, or long walks in the park alone. In these walks Horace's +big dog Comrade would often join her. The creature had taken a fancy +to her, which seemed, in some strange way, to comfort her. + +Besides these diversions, she had her large correspondence to dispose +of every day; for in her important position she had of course +established numberless points of contact with the world. + +So the time went by until Lord Hurdly's return, and the day that +followed saw Kingdon Hall filled with guests. After that there were +few moments of reflection for its mistress, as the duty of doing the +honors of this great establishment demanded all her time. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +Bettina loved this power and importance. The drama of her present +life was like the unfolding, before her gaze, of a beautiful series +of pictures which she had conceived in her imagination, and which +some enchanter's word had turned into reality. The crowded functions +of the London season had somewhat palled upon her, though she had not +quite owned it to herself; but here she was the centre of the system, +the light around which these lesser lights revolved, and she seemed, +under these conditions, to shine with an increased radiance. Her +manners, where they differed from those of the women about her, +seemed to gain rather than lose by the contrast, and her costumes +seemed to be endless in their variety as well as in their beauty. +Certainly she had an air of being born to the purple, and her +husband's pride in her was undoubted, if unexpressed. + +Bettina was aware that this pride was his strongest feeling in +regard to her, and she was abundantly willing to have it so. If she +had found it difficult to fall in love with a youth who might have +disturbed the heart of Diana, she was not likely to have fallen in +love with the cool, cynical, narrow-chested, thin-haired man whom she +could yet feel a certain pride in owning as her husband, since his +appearance, no less than his name, was distinguished. She had always +had a theory that she would never love deeply any one besides her +mother, and her two experiences in the lottery of marriage, so +different as they were, convinced her that her knowledge of herself +had been correct. She was glad of it. The hot anguish which at times +even yet contracted her heart at the thought of her mother made her +hope devoutly that she would never love again. The joy of it could +not be worth the pain. + +When Lady Hurdly's house-party broke up, she went with her husband on +a round of visits to other country-houses. This phase of society she +liked, and she threw herself into it with ardor. But toward the end +she wearied of these visits, as she had wearied of London, and was +glad to get back to Kingdon Hall. Instead of rest, however, she found +restlessness, and the disturbing thoughts which she had smothered +before came back with added force. It was a relief to her to think of +going abroad--Lord Hurdly having made plans for their spending some +months of the winter on the Continent. + +There was one instinctive fear connected with this plan--the +possibility that she might by some chance encounter Horace. She had +little fear that he would come to England. What would it matter if +she should meet him? He had never been anything to her, really--so +she assured herself--and she had certainly been, in reality, quite as +little to him. Yet she did unreasonably dread such a meeting with +him, and felt anxious to know where he was. + +Accordingly, one morning she asked Parlett, in a casual way, if she +ever heard from Mr. Horace. + +"Oh yes, my lady; he writes to me now and then," replied the +housekeeper. Bettina had not expected to hear this; her only thought +was to draw out some information gained by hearsay. + +"He is at St. Petersburg?" she asked, indifferently. + +"No, my lady; at Simla," was the unexpected answer. "He has been +there a good while. I had a pamphlet from him the other day. When he +has not time to answer my letters, he often sends me a paper, or +something like that, to show me what he has been doing. I can't +always understand them, but he knows I like to have them just because +he wrote them." + +Bettina was unwilling to show her ignorance, so she did not say that +she had no knowledge that he ever wrote for publication, and when +Parlett went on to offer her the reading of the pamphlet she said, +with an indifferent kindness, + +"Yes, bring it to me, by all means. I am very glad that Mr. Horace +keeps up his intercourse with the old place, which of course may yet +be his. I shall take an interest in seeing what he writes." + +She went on to speak of certain changes which she wished made in some +of the sleeping-apartments, and then dismissed her housekeeper with +something less than her usual graciousness of manner. + +Bettina felt a strong desire to be alone. These tidings of Horace, +slight as they were, had been disturbing to her. Indeed, as time +went on and her knowledge of Lord Hurdly increased, the fear that +he might have dealt insincerely with his cousin or with herself grew +steadily. She saw proofs every day of the ruthlessness with which he +sacrificed men, and even what should have been principles, to gain +his ends. By the light of the same knowledge she realized how his +meeting with her had disturbed him in his customary calmness of +poise, and she argued from this fact how important it had been to him +to gain his object of making her his wife. + +In the midst of these reflections a house-maid tapped at her door, +with some folded papers on a tray. + +"If you please, my lady, Mrs. Parlett sends you these," she said. + +She was a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked English girl, with a soft voice +and very pretty manner, and at present she was gently agitated by the +privilege of speaking to her lady, whom she, as well as all the rest +of the maids, regarded as a sort of cross between angel and goddess. + +Bettina thanked her with a kind smile which sent her away completely +happy; then, in the privacy of her own chamber, she opened the +papers. One was a diplomatic pamphlet on a public question in the +line of the writer's professional work. The other was an article +which went very thoroughly into the question of the best means of +relieving the famine then raging in India. + +It seemed to Bettina that she had vaguely heard that there was such a +famine, but she had not felt more than a kindly casual interest in it +as an unfortunate matter which she could not help. Now, however, as +she read the account which this paper gave, and the lines which it +followed in the effort to render help, her heart burned within her. +Here was a man who had no more power than herself to give money +help--far less, indeed, perhaps. Yet how he was spending his soul, +his strength, his time, his talent, his very heart-beats, on this +effort to go to the rescue of these perishing thousands! No one who +read the throbbing sentences of that paper could have a doubt of the +writer's earnest desire to help, or of his ability to move the hearts +and wills of others to come to his aid. It wrought upon her +strangely. + +How much money could she lay her hands on? She had no idea, but she +would make it her business to find out. There was her own little +income, which she had taken no account of since her marriage, and +there was the money which Lord Hurdly had put to her credit in the +bank. She would get all she could and send it--anonymously, of +course--to the famine fund which she had casually heard mentioned. +But, oh, what a pitiful offering it seemed compared with what this +man was giving with such lavish self-devotion! From the fervor of his +printed words, and his report of what had so far been accomplished, +she saw that the very passion of his heart was in it. Of his ardent +temperament, his quick sympathies, she had knowledge in her own +experience. Perhaps it had been these very traits of his which had +led him to the conduct which had separated them. + +At this thought, that faint suspicion that he had been misrepresented +to her rose in her heart again; but she choked it back. That would be +too awful. Besides the hideous self-accusations which would have +followed the admission of this doubt, there was another argument +against it which still had its powerful hold on her. She had grown +accustomed to her great position in the social world, and her inborn +instinct for power and admiration was deliciously gratified by the +brilliancy of her present circumstances. She found it very agreeable +to be Lady Hurdly, with all that that name and title implied, and she +did not, even in this moment of such unwonted emotion, lose sight of +that fact. + +Yet the reading of this little paper had stirred a feeling in +Bettina's heart which she had not felt for so long a time--a +yearning tenderness for some object outside herself: a longing that +her health and strength might avail for others bereft of these +blessings. It was akin to the emotion she had felt by her mother's +dying bed, and as it swept over her she wept as she had not done +since she had knelt beside that sacred spot. + +Instinctively now she fell upon her knees. She tried to pray--but for +what? She could not compose a form of prayer or articulate a definite +wish. All she could do was to pray to God--the God in whom her mother +had trusted--to give her this thing, this unknown boon which He knew +her passionate need of. + +When she rose from her knees she put her hands to her head, and, +pressing her temples hard, looked about her, as if in search of some +object which might help her to the comprehension of her own mood. +Then, running her fingers inside the collar of her dress, she drew +out, by a slight chain, a small locket, which contained her mother's +picture and a lock of her white hair. It was a sort of talisman whose +mere touch gave her a sense of comfort. She did not open it now, but +held it between her palms and pressed her cheek against it, standing +there alone, and presently she whispered: + +"What is it, mother darling? What is it that you seem trying to say +to me? Oh, if you can ever speak to me, speak now, and I will listen +as I did not do when you were here beside me! There is something that +I ought to do, and I am not doing it. There is something I am doing +which distresses you. That is the feeling that I have. Oh, my +mother--my lovely, precious, good, good mother--if I had you here, +you would tell me what it is that I ought to do--and I would do it!" + +She ceased her half-inarticulate whispers, and stood intensely +still--almost, it seemed, as if she waited for an answer to them. + +But there came no answer save the still, small voice within her soul, +which had so often tried to speak before, and which even yet she +could not, would not listen to. + +This voice suggested to her with persistent iteration that she should +even now look strictly into the evidence which had so quickly +sufficed to convince her that the young and ardent lover who had +wooed her so passionately, and promised her such loyalty and faith +and devotion, had been false to his professions and his promises +alike. + +Suppose she should investigate; suppose she should get proof that +she as well as he had been falsely dealt with, that he had been true +in every word and thought--what then? Could she endure to keep, after +that, the position of wife to the man who had so deceived and injured +two beings who had believed him? Assuredly she could not. What, then, +would be her alternative? To leave him and go back to the poor life +at home, which her mother's presence had justified and glorified, but +which without that presence, and with the contrast of her present +position in her mind, would be too intolerable a thought to +contemplate. + +No, she had no sufficient reason to doubt the representations that +her husband had made to her. She would try to accept them more +implicitly for the future, and so fight against such disturbing +ideas. There were ample means of diversion within her reach. Her +sojourn abroad would soon begin, and she must fight against any +recurrence of her present mood of weakness. + +If she was to win this fight, however, there was one precaution which +she felt that she must take. This was to avoid the very name of +Horace Spotswood, and, as far as might be possible, every thought of +him as well. + +Her foreign travels began, and she then had the assurance that this +effort would not be difficult of accomplishment. There were a +thousand new issues for Bettina's interest and feelings in her +constantly changing surroundings, and these were sufficiently +absorbing to do away with lately disturbing considerations. The world +had still its powerful charm for Bettina, and she was now seeing the +world in a very fascinating aspect. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +As Bettina had found the London season delightful, and yet had been +quite content to see it close, and as the same had been true of her +experience, both as hostess and as guest, at the country-house +parties which had followed the season, so it was also with her +foreign travels, although she found much to interest and delight her +in the various cities which she visited with Lord Hurdly. He was +received with distinction everywhere--a fact partly due to his +prominent position in Parliament, and partly to his social importance +and the acknowledged beauty of his wife. + +Bettina enjoyed it, certainly, and found it very helpful to her in +carrying out her resolve to banish the agitating thoughts which would +recur whenever she thought of Horace. She had managed to stop +thinking of him almost entirely, and to live only for the +satisfaction of each day as it passed. + +After a while, however, she began to feel that there was a certain +flatness in the sort of pleasure which consisted so largely in being +an object of admiration, for she had not been able herself to feel +much enthusiasm for the people whom she met. She did not make friends +easily, perhaps because she did not greatly care to have friends. Her +mother's delicate health had left her little time for other +companionships, even if she had desired them, and since the loss of +her mother her heart had seemed to close up, and her capacity for +caring for people, never very great, was lessening every day. + +Several times during her travels she had heard Horace spoken of. +On these occasions she had not betrayed the fact that she had +any knowledge of him, and so the talk about him had been quite +unrestrained. She had heard it said by one man that "he was turning +out a very earnest fellow"; by another that "his pamphlets were +making quite a stir"; and, again, that he "might do something worth +while in diplomacy if he'd let philanthropy alone." Another man had +said that "all he needed was to marry money, and he'd have a great +career before him." + +When Bettina returned from her travels these few remarks, overheard +at dinner-tables or in public places, seemed in some unaccountable +way to be the most important things she had secured out of her late +experiences. Certainly they were the most insistently recurring, and +the idea was forced upon her that the way in which men spoke of +Horace Spotswood was a strong contrast to the tone of the letter from +Lord Hurdly's friend. + +All this was a source of distress to her. She would have preferred to +believe the letter, for such a belief would have rid her of the sting +of self-reproach; but, try as she might, she could not wholly get her +consent to it. + +On her way back to England she stopped in Paris to choose her +costumes for the coming season. It was a pleasure to her to try on +these beautiful things, which she bought without any thought of the +cost of them; but it was a pleasure which she had become accustomed +to, and so its keenness was gone. Besides this, she had nothing to +look forward to except the London season, and custom had also +detracted from the zest of that. She was in the attitude of always +looking beyond. Surely, with such a position and such a fortune as +she had attained to, there must be something to satisfy the vague +longing within her which she called desire for happiness. + +It was decided that they were to stay at Kingdon Hall a short time +before going up to town, and Bettina had looked forward to the +freedom of the country life with a hopefulness which reality +disappointed. Here again she thought of Horace, and the possible +injustice she had done him forced its way into her consciousness, and +so disturbed her with doubts and misgivings that she determined to +overcome her reluctance to mention Horace's name to her husband, and +ask boldly whether he had actually received the sum of money which +she had been promised that he should have. It had become so essential +to her to know about this that she determined to use her very first +opportunity of asking. + +Not ten minutes after she had made this resolution she unexpectedly +encountered Lord Hurdly, in crossing a hall. He had been out on +horseback, and still wore his riding-clothes. The correct and +carefully fitted leggings showed legs that were thin and shapeless. +Beneath them were small feet, on which their owner did not step very +firmly. The somewhat showy waistcoat and short coat had an air of +displaying themselves and concealing the form beneath them, which +was perhaps a high tribute to his tailor's art. His chest looked +narrower, his face more wrinkled, his hair thinner, than Bettina had +before noticed them to be, and there was a certain loose-jointedness +in his figure which, as he moved toward her on his narrow and closely +booted feet, gave him the sort of teetering motion of the elderly +beau. His face, neutral and cold as ever, showed the signs of age +less, yet Bettina felt that it masked the inadequacy of his soul as +distinctively as his clothes masked that of his body. + +As they came toward each other--this man and this woman, whose +marriage was supposed to be a union of two into one--the face of each +might, by an eye sensitive to the subtleties of human expression, +have been seen to harden slightly. Lord Hurdly took off his hat with +an automatic motion which might have prompted the thought that the +action arose from his ideal of himself rather than from any +association with the woman before him. + +"Excuse me for detaining you a moment," said Bettina, "but I want to +know whether Horace Spotswood actually received the money which you +made over to him at the time of your marriage to me. I have heard +that he is leading a very active life, on lines where money will be +of great use to him. Naturally I am anxious to be sure of the fact +that he has suffered no injury, however indirectly, through me." + +She had been able to control both her voice and expression +entirely--a fact on which she fervently congratulated herself. + +"You may feel quite at ease on that score, I assure you," Lord Hurdly +answered, in his cold, incisive tones. "He received the money, and +has probably used it for the furtherance of these ridiculous and +sentimental schemes of his. This should give you the gratifying +assurance that he has been bettered, and not worsted, by reason of +his connection with you." + +The tone in which he spoke was galling to Bettina, but she made no +answer, though no words which she could have spoken would have +conveyed a greater resentment of his speech than did her disdainful +silence. She made a motion to move away, but he deliberately placed +himself in front of her, saying, in the same hard tone: + +"It occurred to me, from time to time while we were abroad, that you +were rather eager in gleaning information about the person we have +been speaking of, and I want to tell you that what has been evident +to me may be evident to others. You may not care how the thing +looks, but as I do, perhaps you will be more careful in the future." + +His use of the word "eager" in connection with her attitude in this +affair gave Bettina swift offence, and this feeling was heightened by +the suggestion that she had made herself liable to criticism on such +a subject. + +"You cannot, I think," she answered, in a tone of proud resentment, +"be more careful than I am that I shall act with propriety as your +wife. Since there is so little besides the form to be complied with, +I see the greater necessity for punctiliousness in observing that. +The rebuke you have just given me is utterly unmerited, and I shall +therefore not change my manner of conducting myself in any +particular." + +"Perhaps you will think better of that decision, and will oblige me +by not making yourself conspicuous by holding your breath to listen +whenever that person chances to be mentioned. You are not unlikely to +hear him alluded to during the coming season, as he has been making a +bid for popularity at his new post by taking up the matter of the +famine, and," he added with a sneering smile, "relieving it with the +money I paid him." + +The word cut into Bettina's heart. + +"Paid him?" she said, scrutinizing him with a glance before which +even his hard eyes faltered. "Paid him for what?" + +"Oh, for keeping himself out of my way!" + +She felt that she had compelled him to this response, and that he +would have liked to put it more brutally. As it was, there lurked a +sting in it which provoked her to reply. + +"Did he hold the privilege of your proximity at so large a price?" + +A smile of quiet irony accompanied the words. As it curved her lips +alluringly, Lord Hurdly felt himself touched with the sudden sense of +her powerful charm. No one else on earth would have dared to say this +to him, or anything remotely comparable with it. There was something +very piquant to his jaded palate in the flavor of this audacious +speech. Instead of scowling, therefore, he smiled. + +"I have heard," he said, amiably, "that America was the land of the +free and the home of the brave, and certainly you seem to warrant one +in accepting that belief." + +Bettina, a good deal relieved at this turn of affairs, took the +opportunity that the moment gave her to say, gravely: + +"No; I do not consider myself free. I have bound myself, in my +marriage to you, and I have no intention or desire to forget the +duties which I owe you. But I tell you frankly, Lord Hurdly, that I +am not accustomed to either surveillance or tyranny, and I shall not +tamely submit to them. In the carrying out of this resolution, at +least, you will find that I can be brave." + +She looked more than ordinarily beautiful as she stood erect before +him and said these words, and he had not gazed so fully into her eyes +for a long time. He had almost forgotten their magnetic loveliness. +At sight of them now his pulses beat quicker. A desire for the +mastery of this splendid creature returned to him with a force he +would not have believed possible. + +"Bettina," he said, in a voice which showed an emotion most unusual +to him, "have you ever known what it was to love, I wonder?" + +"Once--once only," she answered, a quaver in her voice and a sudden +suffusion of tears in her eyes. "I loved my mother. No one that ever +lived could have loved more truly and more ardently than I loved her; +but there it began and ended. I never deceived you as to that. I +promised you duty and good faith, and I have not failed in these. I +never shall so fail. But love, no! I haven't it to give." + +She made a movement to go forward, and he stood aside and let her +pass him. She avoided meeting his gaze, and perhaps it was well that +she did. For slowly its expression changed. A look of hardness that +was almost significant of dislike came into his eyes and compressed +his lips. From the day of their marriage this woman had thwarted and +baffled him. He had tried to get the mastery of her, but he had +failed, and the sense of that failure angered him. He had been used +to dominating every one with whom he came into any sort of close +contact. He had married this American girl with the determination to +dominate her, and he had found himself as powerless as if she had +been a mist maiden. There was no way in which he could lay hold upon +her. + +Concerning Bettina's attitude toward him he had a theory. He believed +that she had really loved Horace. She was too absolutely in the +shadow of the sorrow of her mother's death to give full play to any +other feeling, but he had always felt, in every effort that he had +made to win her, that it was the image of Horace Spotswood in her +mind which put him in total eclipse. This theory time had deepened. +His suspicious watchfulness over her every word and look had made +him aware that she listened with interest when Horace's name was +mentioned, and his imagination heightened the effect of her interest, +and caused him to conjecture as to what she might have heard and +felt at such times as he was not by. Moreover, a certain secret +consciousness in his own soul stimulated him in his suspicions. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +During the early weeks of their marriage Lord Hurdly, while changing +his attitude from the solicitude of the pursuer to the masterfulness +of the possessor, had certainly made some effort to win Bettina, +while she, on her part, had tried to oblige him by responding to his +professions for her. Both were aware that this effort had been made +on both sides, and that it had quite failed. By the time the +honey-moon was over, Lord Hurdly had, to all appearance, ceased to +care. The consciousness of this was an immense relief to Bettina, and +she had felt ever since that in doing him credit in the eyes of the +world she would satisfy his first object in having her for a wife. In +this she had not failed. There was a distinct estrangement between +them, but it had never been necessary to define it. Whatever +disagreements there had been, only themselves were aware of. Lord +Hurdly would have felt his authority over her incomplete indeed if +he had ever had to assert it in public. + +As for Bettina, a singular change of feeling was going on within her. +She had made her test of the world, and found that she had overrated +its power to please. It was almost appalling to reflect that there +was no more for her to do than to repeat what she had already done. +Another London season, another autumn in receiving and making visits, +another winter abroad. What then? Was there nothing but material +pleasure for her in the world? She wanted something more, something +different from all this. + +One morning she went out into the park, where spring was just +beginning to put forth its greenery. Leaping footsteps sounded behind +her. It was Comrade, bounding to her side and nestling up against +her. She put her arm around his neck and drew him close. He responded +with an affectionateness that was almost human. + +Almost human! At this thought she began to ask herself how much human +affection there was for her in the world. As much, no doubt, she told +herself, as she had to bestow. But why was this? + +The birds were going wild with song in the branches above her head. +The grass, the trees, the clouds, the sky, seemed all to have been +made to be part of a world for love to dwell in. A great hunger +possessed her--a hunger not to be loved, but to love. For the first +time she found herself longing for this boon, entirely apart from any +idea of her mother. Oh, to have some one with a human, comprehending, +ardent heart, to put her arms around as she was now clasping +Comrade--some one to whom to offer up the wealth of love which she +had once thought she could never give except to her dear mother; some +one who might make that mother's words come true, that a love far +greater than any she had known might be in store for her; some one, +handsome, charming, ardent, loving, sympathetic, kind; some one to be +friend and brother and lover all in one; above all, some one with +thoughts and feelings akin to her own--some one impulsive and +natural--some one young! + +When at last she said good-bye to Comrade and returned to her rooms, +she felt in some strange way that a new era had dawned for her. But +a mood like this was new in her experience, and she fought resolutely +against its recurrence. As an aid to this end she threw herself +more eagerly into the external interests which were so great in +such a position as hers, and became more noted for her splendid +entertainments and rich dressing than she had been the season before. +As she got a deeper insight into the conditions of the life about +her, she saw opportunities for influence and power, even to a woman, +which attracted her. But she was very ignorant. She knew little of +the world and English affairs, and she found the women about her so +well informed on these subjects that she began to feel herself at a +certain disadvantage. This roused her pride, and she set to work to +inform herself on many subjects of which she had hitherto been +ignorant. + +One means to this end was the reading of newspapers, and this +occupation now absorbed a part of every morning. In this way she +occasionally came upon Horace Spotswood's name, and when she did, a +strange agitation would possess her. She could not quite shake off an +influence which this man's life seemed to exert upon hers. Lord +Hurdly would have had her believe that she had bestowed a great +benefit upon Horace, as it was through her that he was in the +possession of his present independent fortune, but there was no voice +so strong as the one in her own heart which told her that she had +wronged him. Here and there she had picked up the impressions of +many different people concerning this young diplomatist, and +unquestionably the aggregated effect was one of admiration. The brief +notices of him which she read in the papers confirmed this impression +of him. He was doing well, for a man of his years, in diplomacy, and +he was doing more than well in the work he had undertaken for the +relief of the famine-stricken population near him. + +It was Horace's interest in this cause which had given rise to +Bettina's interest in it, and she began to read eagerly all that she +could find on the subject. As a result her heart was, for the first +time in her life, awakened to an intense perception of the suffering +of the world at large. It was a new emotion to her, and one which +throbbed through all her consciousness with a power which changed her +individuality even to herself. She began to think for the first time +of the utter recklessness with which she had been spending the large +sums of money which Lord Hurdly placed at her disposal. Her +expenditure of these sums heretofore had met with his entire +approval, as she could never have too rich a wardrobe to please him. +It was all a part of his own glory and importance, and he never asked +a question as to how the money went. + +But now the tide within Bettina's heart had turned. As she read of +the sufferings of these starving people, the thought of her own +excess of luxuriousness sickened her. The more she felt within her +soul that nameless sadness which no outside help could relieve, the +more she felt it urgent upon her to relieve the wants of others when +this assuagement lay within her actual power. + +It may seem strange that, with a mother who had a large-hearted +sympathy with all sorrow, Bettina should have kept her own heart so +closed to the suffering outside it; but no seed can sprout until the +soil is prepared for it, and up to this period of her life the ground +of Bettina's heart had been unprepared. + +Now, however, all was changed. She went to balls and dinners, as her +position as Lord Hurdly's wife demanded, but her heart was elsewhere. +She began to economize strictly in her personal expenditure, and +collected all the ready money she could lay her hands on, both from +her husband's allowance and from her own small private fortune, and +sent it anonymously to the Indian famine fund. + +This contribution was sent in with no other identification than "From +B.," written on the card which accompanied it. How could Bettina +have dreamed that any living soul would connect her with it? + +She was not unaware, however, that she was constantly watched by her +husband. Since she had become interested in her new pursuits he +observed her more closely than ever, and on the morning of the +publication in the papers of the special additions to the famine fund +which contained her own subscription Lord Hurdly, with apparently no +reason at all, read the list aloud to her across the breakfast table. + +When he came to the item "From B.," he paused and looked at her +searchingly. + +Bettina felt her face turn red. + +[Illustration: "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'"] + +"I thought so," said her husband, with a strange mixture of +satisfaction and anger in his hard tones. "I have been expecting some +such foolery as this for some time, and I am not blinded to the +motive behind it. What do you care about those devils of Indian +savages? What does Horace Spotswood care about them? Just as little! +Enough, and too much, of my money has gone already to the prolonging +of their worthless lives. If that graceless cub chooses to go on +wasting money on them he can do it, but I take this occasion to +inform you, Lady Hurdly--and I'd advise you to remember what I +say--that I do not choose that any more of my money shall go in that +direction. Do you understand?" + +There was an insolence in his tone which he had never used to her +before. She resented it keenly. Rising to her feet, with an instinct +which forbade her to preside over the table at the other end of which +he was seated as master, she said, with a tinge of anger in her quiet +tones: + +"The money was partly my own--from my mother's little fortune; and +she would have held, with me, that I could put it to no more holy +use. As to the rest, I understood that that also was my own. I did +not know that you required of me an account of how I used it." + +"How you used it? You may light your fire with it, for all I care! +But there is one thing for which I do care, and which I mean to see +nipped in the bud; and that is this ridiculous sentimentality which +you are indulging in over Horace Spotswood. If you are regretting +your young lover, that is your own affair, but when you come to +flaunt this regret before the eyes of the public it becomes my +affair, and as such I propose to put a stop to it." + +Bettina trembled with the rage of resentment that possessed her. She +recollected herself enough, however, not to speak until she had +paused long enough to be sure that she could control herself. Then +she said: + +"You are forgetting yourself, Lord Hurdly, when you presume to speak +to me as you have just done. I have given you no occasion to do so, +and you know it. If there are certain regrets in my marriage to you, +your present conduct justifies them. But permit me to say, on my +side, that I can imagine no explanation of your behavior, except to +suppose that it proceeds from a consciousness in your own mind of +having wronged this man." + +She was looking at him narrowly. His features did not flush, nor did +his cold eyes falter. And yet, in spite of the long habit of +guardedness which now stood him in such good stead, there was a +consciousness about him, like an atmosphere, which told her that her +thrust had drawn blood. + +"I thought so!" she said, using the very words which he had used to +her. "I have for a long time been struggling in my mind against a +doubt which sometimes would arise, that I might have been deceived. +Everywhere, in public and in private, that I hear that young man +spoken of, it is with words of confidence, admiration, and +affection." + +Still her penetrating gaze was on him, and still he bore it without +flinching. + +"You saw the letter," he said, with a sneer. "If that was not enough +for you--" He broke off with a harsh, unpleasant laugh. + +"It was enough," she said. "Surely it has sufficed to fix my fate in +life. But it is possible that that letter gave an exaggerated +account. Still, if the half of it was so, I was more than justified +in cutting loose from him. No one could possibly blame me." + +"No one does, so far as I can see," was the malicious answer. "I hear +of no complaints from others, and certainly I have uttered none. You +make a very satisfactory Lady Hurdly, and I suppose you get enough +out of the position to repay you for anything you may have lost--at +least, from the world's point of view, you should have done so." + +Bettina did not answer at once. A sickness of soul was creeping over +her that made all life look suddenly loathsome. The one feeble ray +that penetrated the darkness in which she felt herself enveloped was +the help that came from a certain ideal which she had recently +enthroned in her own heart. As the world's need, the wider issues +affecting the myriad lives beyond her own, had recently been brought +before her consciousness, she had felt her way, as simply and weakly +as a child might have done, to one plain principle of life--that it +was worth while to try to be good. Never had she felt so keenly as in +this minute the utter futility of hoping to be happy. Yet in this +minute she felt more than ever, also, that happiness was not all. + +It was only rarely that she had any personal talk with her husband. +The wall of separation between them seemed to be thickening by silent +accretion all the time. It was very difficult to scale this wall, and +she felt that any effort to do so irked him no less than it did her. +So, with an instinct not to let go the present opportunity, she said, +rather eagerly, as he was rising to go away: + +"Sit down a moment. We do not often speak together. I have something +on my mind to say to you." + +He resumed his seat and lighted a cigar--an action which discouraged +her by its nonchalance. Still, she was determined to go on. By a +great effort she made her voice very gentle, as she said: + +"I know I have disappointed you in what you had hoped from this +marriage between us, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. If I +have not been able to give you the feeling which you desired--" + +He interrupted her. + +"Feeling?" he said. "Who wants feeling nowadays in a wife? No one +expects it. I wanted some one to make a handsome figure as Lady +Hurdly. I expected that you would do that, and you have not +disappointed me." + +"If this is true, I'm glad to know it," she said; "but, at any rate, +you could not blame me for not giving you the love another woman +might have given you. I never deceived you as to that. I told +you I had not that love to give; not--as you have so unjustly +hinted--because I had given it to another man, but because I was then +incapable of love. I had no thought of any one beyond myself. I was +miserably ignorant and egoistic. It was in ignorance and egoism that +I took the position of your wife, but I think from the first that I +have tried, as I could, to fulfil its obligations. I have tried to be +and to appear what you would wish. And I am not unmindful of the +honor and distinction which my marriage to you has conferred upon +me." + +"Gad! I should hope not! One of the biggest positions in England!" he +exclaimed, in a tone of scornful irritation. With these words he rose +and left the room. + +Bettina's pride was deeply wounded. It had been that new assertion of +the control of duty which had led her to say these things to her +husband. She had conquered much in herself before speaking, and she +felt that she had a right to resent the almost brutal insensibility +with which he had received her words. + +As she turned from the breakfast-room and mounted to her own +apartments she felt conscious of a new humiliation in her life. Up to +this time she had believed that Lord Hurdly would have been incapable +of such speech as he had used to her that morning. She had done a +good deal--more than was required of her, she told herself--in +speaking to him as she had done after his words in the early part of +their conversation, and now it seemed plain to her that she had +fulfilled her whole duty toward him, and that if it had done no good, +the fault was on his side and not on hers. + +Once in her own rooms, she gave herself up to profoundly sorrowful +thoughts. She was only twenty-two. How long the path of her future +life looked, and whither would it lead? She had attained all that +any woman could desire in the way of the world's bestowment. She did +not underrate the value of this. On the contrary, it was as essential +to one part of her nature as something far different in the way of +human possibility was to another part. She did not lose her hold upon +the actual because she was striving after the unattained. All this +power and admiration was very important to her, though she felt the +insufficiency of mere worldly prosperity. "Pleasure to have it, none; +to lose it, pain," were words that very nearly fitted her state of +mind. At the thought of going back to the obscurity she had come out +of she shrank. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +That talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch in their relations +to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its +impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done +all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to +a true and amicable understanding with her husband, and, after it, +she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight +into Bettina's nature which he had not had before. He found her to +be possessed of a power of caustic speech which, he was bound to +acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that +he had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy over her quite +so conclusively as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an +uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, +that it might be better for him to think twice in future before +crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition, and who +was quite unused to dealing with it in his own house. He was still +master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired +to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion +with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving +which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already +endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming +again into close quarters with Bettina. + +This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which +might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to +watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on +the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again +referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of +Horace Spotswood. + +Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and +held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up +against her which might one day be brought before her all at once. + +She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things +beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by +indulgence. When she looked about her in the great throbbing life of +London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand +waiting for her interest and participation that she was soon caught +in the strong movement of woman's work in social life in its wider +and deeper meaning. + +No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest +herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a +new and delightful consciousness to her that she might become part of +the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she +threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm. + +Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position +was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she +might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots +of those who were at the other extreme of life's scale from her, +whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had +as little value at one end as at the other. + +Apart from these considerations of pure altruism was the sweet +thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that +she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another +thought would come. This was that, far apart as their lives must be, +she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and +perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each--namely, that the +record of the future might help to compensate for the mistakes and +wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately hoping that +he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to +throw hers. + +Under these changed conditions, Bettina's second season in London was +unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some +unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated with the +"scorn for miserable aims that end with self," and by the time that +she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so +informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure +which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its +opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal +supervision of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was +eager to enter into. She had awakened to the duty of looking after +the interests of tenants and the good of the parish. + +Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or +not she was unable to guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical and +distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered, but +she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he +felt that her prominence in philanthropic activities, which had been +approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon +himself. + +For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the +man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic +to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most +people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and +breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening. + +She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her +visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation into the +needs of her husband's tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, +and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to +leave for a few days' hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he +said to her, at the moment of departure: + +"I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which +you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. +The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left these matters to +their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now +so that I may see no signs of interference on my return." + +It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he +was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of +haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this +way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no +intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on +his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his +gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent +upon his task, under frowning brows. + +His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her +were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of +disappointment. She did not often take a humble tone with him, but +there was humility as well as entreaty in her voice as she now said, + +"You won't forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a +little better for them, if I can, will you?" + +"I forbid all interference," he answered, in a tone that made her +feel that he relished the exercise of his power. "You can safely +leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently +well in my hands so far." + +At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, +but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage +that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities were now less +insistent than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped +to be able to alleviate. + +"Oh, indeed you are mistaken!" she said, urgently. "You do not know +how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply +them with. Don't refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to +my heart." + +She saw his face grow harder. + +"It is also," he said, "near my pocket. Going in for charity is all +very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere with your doing +so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to +stop it." + +His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the +position of being entreated by her. She had an instinct to retort +sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was +a new sensation to her--a willingness to humble her pride that others +might be benefited. + +"I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you +approved it," she said, "and I will promise you to regulate my public +charities in future strictly in accordance with whatever limitations +you may set. But don't refuse to let me work a little here--it will +not take much money--among the poor at our very doors." + +Instead of softening him, as she had hoped that this attitude of +humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She +had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, +because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing. + +He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her +waiting. His gloves were now neatly fastened on his long thin hands, +and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded +to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do +so, as he would certainly have done at one time--as he would also, +undoubtedly, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. +Still, these signs of a diminished deference toward her touched her +lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer +to her question. + +She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was +now puffing from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak. + +Always scrupulously careful in small things, he walked to the window +to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came +over her that he did not intend to answer her last words. + +Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart +rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several +days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to +contemplate. As he moved toward the door she said: + +"You have not answered me." + +"I beg your pardon," he said, with chill politeness. "I answered you +in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants' +affairs where they properly belong--with me." + +So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went. + +Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from +the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an +arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she +ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat +her so? + +With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see +if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which +now seemed to be in her husband's mind. With every desire to be +honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not +answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for +he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know +of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not +that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she +chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the +mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the +relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of +his meek little mother and masterful-looking father. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Bettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections +but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of +those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences, +seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of +all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits +and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were +before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been +killed in the hunting-field. + +Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of +her mother's noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat +complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded +most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and +regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be +changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed +in her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who +had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She +had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had +seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least +symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that +he was dead. + +How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their +last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him +at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had +known-- + +Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they +found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet. + +"Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?" said +Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. "They was +that 'aughty to one another before people! But it's them as feels the +most, sometimes." + +This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a +response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue. + +It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress's apartments, where +Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the +arrival of Lord Hurdly's body were being made. After her profound +emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was +the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness +of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now. + +How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things +seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new +conditions. + +Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be +done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to +do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the +rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was +with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility +of Horace's arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get +away somewhere before he came. + +Those days when her husband's body lay in the apartment near her, and +the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his +lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of +the real awakening of Bettina's soul. The sense of freedom which her +position now secured to her, the power to do and be what she chose, +was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her +experience the woman and the hour were met. + +When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had +been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the +heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so +small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for +the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which +saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a +passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs +of others. + +She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life +should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her +vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These +would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have +money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of +the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her, +but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and +she had no misgivings on that score. + +At last the funeral was over and the house was rid of guests. +Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and +bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector's aid, had managed to +get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course +of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute +unadjustment to her new situation. + +It had turned out that Lord Hurdly had left her an income of one +thousand pounds. Her first realization of the smallness of this +provision for her came from the rector's comment, which was spoken in +a tone as if reluctantly censorious. + +"I should not have believed Lord Hurdly capable of such a thing," he +said. "I am sure that all who have cared for his honorable reputation +must regret this as much on his account as on yours." + +"Is it so little?" said Bettina, too proud to show disappointment. "A +thousand pounds a year seems a sufficient sum for the support of one +woman." + +"For some women, perhaps," was the answer, "but not for the woman who +has once held the position of mistress of Kingdon Hall. I repeat that +I would not have believed it of Lord Hurdly." + +Bettina did not hear his last emphatic words, or, at all events, +took no conscious cognizance of them. She was absorbed in the +contemplation of her new condition. How strange it seemed! + +It was something more than strange. She had been too long in +possession of the power and importance of being the reigning Lady +Hurdly, so to speak, not to feel a real revolt at the idea of seeing +herself laid on the shelf. It would not necessarily be so bad if she +had had ample means, for she had made a place for herself in the +world. But she was certain, from the air of commiseration with which +not only the rector but others had regarded her, that she would be +extremely curtailed in such opportunities as depended upon money; and +she had sufficient insight into social affairs to know how the +possession of money broadened opportunity, and the absence of it +limited power. + +There was no denying to herself the pain that it gave her to +relinquish such a position. She had accommodated herself to greatness +so naturally that it seemed incredible that she was to sink back into +a life of obscurity. Frankly, she did not like it. + +And yet, on the other hand, she felt an unfeigned gladness that +Horace was to come to his own. She rejoiced that no child of hers +would ever stand in his way. She had reason to hope that he would use +his great position to great ends, for the residuum of all her turbid +and agitating thoughts about him was an admiration for the man in his +attitude toward the world, no matter how much she still resented his +attitude toward herself. That this last was so, there needed no +stronger proof than her eager resolution to get away from Kingdon +Hall--out of the country, if possible--before the arrival of the man +whose place her husband had once taken, and who, in another sense, +was now to take his. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +It was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of +her life consequent upon her husband's extremely small provision for +her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a +mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America, +in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it +would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for +good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little +joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the +best substitute that can be offered for joy--active and interesting +occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation +of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed +to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the +money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek +some work for the faculties which she had only lately realized that +she possessed. + +In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the +altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her. +She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a +more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling +her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have +had some intention of this sort. + +That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when +he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to +him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to +America to live. + +Under other conditions her husband's wish would have greatly +influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. +She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was +not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight +implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of +loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her +best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his +wishes. These had often conflicted with her own, but in such cases +she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been +treated with injustice. + +The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of +Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was +bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated +her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild +impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of +her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a +short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace +should arrive. + +One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him. +It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these +words: "Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably +detained here.--SPOTSWOOD." + +This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to +her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. +Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away +as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the +conditions of his cousin's will. Not one penny had been left him +except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly's personal +fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace +was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and +noble title. + +The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected +Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others +had been signed "Hurdly." Several of these she had seen. It seemed to +her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to +refrain from the use of her husband's name in addressing her. He had +always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least +so it had seemed. + +The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more +confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She +felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this +telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to +do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word +that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her. + +When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious bow, Bettina +received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become +distinctly more haughty since her descent in the scale of social and +pecuniary importance. + +Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but +remained standing, with his hat in his hand, as he said: + +"A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. +Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a +letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person +upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the +fulfilment of that trust." + +Bettina looked at him in amazement. + +"There must be some mistake," she said. "I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam +Clarke. I have never even heard his name." + +"That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant +for you." + +Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain +incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a +window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the +following sentences: + + "MY DEAR LADY HURDLY,--Should this letter ever come to your + eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left + instructions that it shall be delivered only in the event + of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have + passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can + be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding + which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was + impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of + human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one + wrong which came about through me will have been repaired + by me. I am aware that the rupture of your engagement of + marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a + letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting to come + from an altogether trustworthy source--a man who was on the + spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. + I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly + for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I + need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one + of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you + ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we + shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make + reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped + to inflict upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I + allude to the man who, when you read these words, will bear + the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of + him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a + nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well + discredit any assurance which comes by means of me, and I + do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to + accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my + statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is + well known, and once your ears are open you will hear + enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I + have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a + power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of + my life. + + "That I may possibly by this letter do something, however + late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation on + leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life + I go an ineradicable resentment against the man who was + Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent and + admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read + this, will bear the noble name and title which his + predecessor, if the truth about him could be known, has so + soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most + indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man. + + "In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I do of all the + world, such gentle judgment as Christian hearts may find it + in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of + weakness rather than malice, and who did the evil work of a + malicious man because he had not strength to brave what + that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in + punishment of the resistance of his will. + + "Your ladyship's repentant and unhappy servant, + + "FITZWILLIAM CLARKE." + +Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that +she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its +envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin's +figure half hid by the heavy curtains. + +"Mr. Cortlin," she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her +side, "I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of +the contents of this letter." + +"I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered +to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told +me." + +"Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?" +she asked next. + +"I had, my lady. He was in the confidence of his late lordship, who +intrusted to him many of his private affairs." + +"The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?" + +"So I have understood, my lady. Formerly he was in the army, and I +have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even +heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord +Hurdly's influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story +was hushed up, but he resigned." + +Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening +confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was +too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting spell that +she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come +to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness. + +As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To +go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace +unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered. Yet to explain it +under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation of this +interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, +ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. When Nora came she found +her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness. + +After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, +Bettina began to long to get away--quite, quite away into another +world--before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this +one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such +matters as required immediate attention and decision. She could not +refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to +herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see +what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She +had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there +was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the +mournful interest that attached to her mother's grave. + +She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his +request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she +was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She +also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he +could make his plans to do so. + +The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. +There were numerous business matters which she had to be consulted +about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate +which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for +reform, and revived in her her ardent longing to have a hand in these +reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away +heart-sickened. + +There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly's relations which had to +be received, an ordeal that would have tried Bettina sorely had it +not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation of +Horace Spotswood's character, nature, actions, interests, habits, +etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had +never had one instant's doubt of the truth of every word contained in +that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these +people and draw forth the manifestations of their delight at having +Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this +fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their +ardent appreciation of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal +dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors. + +Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left +alone to the mingled sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as +mistress of Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished +as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she +was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with +them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be +borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing +forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held +in the great world. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Bettina was writing in the library one morning when her attention was +arrested by the sound of an approaching footstep. The next moment a +servant announced, + +"Lord Hurdly." + +At this name she started violently. So long accustomed to associate +it with one person, she forgot for the instant that another bore it +now. As she rose, startled and expectant, through the portière held +back by the servant there entered a man whose sharp dissimilarity to +the image in her mind made her catch her breath. + +The next second she knew that it was Horace, and realized that she +was trembling from head to foot. The breadth of the room was between +them, for he had paused just within the door, nodding to the servant +to withdraw. + +He stood there an instant in silence. + +Perhaps she was no more startled by the surprise which the sight of +him occasioned than was he at the sight of her; but the quality of +the surprise was different. It was her beauty, her so far more than +recollected beauty, which had arrested him and held him spellbound. +He had left her sick with grief about her mother, the color faded +from her cheeks, her eyes dulled with weeping. There had been, +moreover, in her expression an apathy which his ardent words had +failed to do away with. Besides these inherent things, the extrinsic +points were glaringly a contrast to the present ones. Then her +somewhat too slight figure had been dressed in gowns of village make +and fit, and her lovely hair had been carelessly wound up, without +regard to fashion or effect. + +Now he saw confronting him a woman whom nature had endowed with a +rare beauty, and for whom art had also done its best in the matter of +outward adornment. True, she was clad in plain unrelieved black from +head to foot, but no other costume could have so exquisitely +displayed her glowing loveliness of coloring or the pure correctness +of her outlines. + +During the few seconds in which they stood looking at each other she +had perceived also a great change in him. It was of a very different +character, but it made all the more a strong appeal to her, for he +was mysteriously aged. Not only had the Eastern sun turned to bronze +the once ruddy hues of his skin, but he had also lost flesh, and his +hair was getting streaks of gray in it. His figure, too, was sparer, +but it looked more powerful than ever; and still more apparent was +the added look of strength in the familiar and yet subtly altered +face. + +There was no pause long enough to be embarrassing before he spoke. + +"I hope you will excuse me," he said (and, oh, the voice was altered +too, unless she had forgotten that rich, vibrating tone in it!), "for +coming upon you so suddenly. I know I should have given warning, but +I had what I think a sufficient reason for not doing so. I am hoping +earnestly that you will agree with me when you have heard it." + +"Pray sit down," said Bettina, speaking mechanically, and from the +mere instinct of observance of ordinary forms. She had no sooner +spoken than she remembered that it was his own house, of which she +was doing the honors to him. If he remembered it also, he gave no +sign, for he took the chair she indicated, with the conventional +"Thank you" of an ordinary visitor. + +Bettina also had sunk into her chair, and sat quite still, with her +white hands clasped together on the dense black of her dress. She +could not speak, yet she dreaded lest, in the silence, he might hear +the beating of her heart. Its soft thuds were plainly audible to her, +and all the blood from her cheeks seemed to have gone there. + +"In any event, I should have been obliged to come to England soon," +said her companion, "but I should have put it off longer had I not +felt it important to come on your account." + +Bettina's eyes expressed a questioning surprise. + +"On my account?" she said, vaguely. + +"Certainly," was the prompt, decided answer. "The only responsibility +which comes near to me in my new and strange position is that of +protecting the honor and credit of the name I have assumed. These, +you will excuse me for saying, have been seriously, I may even say +shamefully, disregarded by the terms of the late Lord Hurdly's will." + +Bettina's eyes had still that vague and puzzled look. She had not the +least comprehension of what he meant. Could he be resenting the fact +that, so far as it was practicable for him to do so, his cousin had +disinherited him? But no, that was impossible. As she remained silent +and expectant, he went on: + +"Since he chose to disregard the duty and dignity of his position, it +is for me, who must now bear his name, to repair that wrong so far as +it is in my power to do so. It is for that explicit purpose that I am +now come to speak to you." + +Still Bettina looked perplexed. + +"I don't understand exactly in what way the will has displeased you," +she said. "There was a great deal of it that I hardly took in. But in +any case there is nothing for me to do. As you know, my services have +not been asked, and certainly there is no place for them. I have +nothing whatever to do with the executing of Lord Hurdly's will. +Indeed, my plans are all made to return to America immediately." + +"I cannot be surprised at your decision," he said, with a certain +resentment in his voice which she did not understand. "Certainly it +would be natural for you to wish to shake off the dust of this land +from your feet. But wherever you may choose to live for the future, +it is my duty to see that you live as becomes the widow of Lord +Hurdly, and it is for this purpose that I have hastened to get here +before you should be gone." + +All was now clear, and with the illumination which had come to her +from these words of his the color flooded her pale cheeks. Her first +sensation was of keenly wounded pride. + +"You might have spared yourself such haste," she said. "If you had +taken the slight trouble to write to me, I could have saved you the +long and hurried journey. So far from wishing to have more money than +what I am legally entitled to, it is my purpose and decision to take +nothing. I have of my own enough to live upon in the simple way in +which I shall live for the future. Did you think so ill of me as to +suppose that I would wish to grasp at more than my husband saw fit to +leave me--or to take money at your hands?" + +It was her instinct of pride which had caused her to use the words +"my husband," which another instinct at the same moment urged her to +repudiate. But pride was now the uppermost feeling of her heart, and +it supplied her with a sudden and sufficient strength for this hour's +need. + +"This is in no sense a question between you and your late husband," +said Horace. (Was there not in him also a certain hesitation at that +word, and did not the same feeling as in her compel him to its use?) +"Nor is it a question between you and me. The obviously simple issue +is what propriety demands as to the manner in which the widow of +Lord Hurdly is provided for. It belongs to my own sense of the +dignity of my position that the late Lord Hurdly's widow should be +situated as becomes her name and title, and I am determined to see +that this is done." + +"Determined," she said, a certain defiance in her quiet tone, "is not +the word for this case. You may determine as you choose, but what +will it avail if I determine not to touch a penny belonging to either +the late or the present Lord Hurdly? You are very careful of the +dignity of your position. I must also look to mine, which you seem +strangely to have forgotten." + +His expression showed her plainly that these words of hers had cut +deep into his consciousness. A swift compunction seized her heart, +but her pride was still in the supremacy, and enabled her to stifle +the feeling. + +"I have not forgotten it," he said. "It is because I have been +mindful of the dignity of your position that I have urged this thing +upon you. The conditions of the will need not be generally known if +you will accept the right and proper income, which I wish, above all +things, to see you have. Can you not believe me sincere in my desire +to remove the indignity put upon you by a member of my family, and +the bearer before me of a name and position of which it has now +become my duty to maintain the credit? And can you not believe me +just enough and kind enough to wish to see this done for your sake as +well as for my own?" + +Bettina's face continued proudly hard. If the gentleness of her +companion's expression, the kindness of his manner, the delicate +respect of his tones, made any appeal to her woman's heart, the +all-potency of her pride enabled her to conceal it. But the struggle +between the two feelings at war within her made a desperate demand +upon her strength. She felt that she would do well to put an end to +this interview as soon as practicable. With this purpose she said, +abruptly: + +"I am willing to do full justice to your motives, but they cannot +affect my action. My mind is quite made up. I shall return to America +at once, and there the credit of Lord Hurdly's name will not suffer +any hurt, since I shall be practically out of the world. Certainly I +shall be forever removed from the world in which his life will be +spent. Do not think that I shall regret it. I shall not. My +experience of your world has shown me that the mere possession of +money, rank, position, influence, is powerless to bring happiness. I +thought once that if I should come to have these I could get pleasure +and satisfaction from them, but I was wrong. My nature inherently +loved importance and display, but I mistook the unessential for the +essential. If I had had all these external things, together with the +satisfaction of the inward needs, they might have made me happy. In +themselves I have proved them to be worthless." + +She was compelled to say these words. The intimate knowledge of the +character of her husband which had come to her after marriage made +her long that Horace should know that had she really comprehended the +man as he perhaps had known him all the while, she never could have +become his wife. It was impossible for her to tell him this, but she +caught eagerly at her present opportunity of letting him know that +she had had no duty toward her late husband beyond the mere formal +obligation of her wifehood. She could not bear Horace to think that +she had loved him. Even now, under the softening influence that death +imparts, that thought was intolerable to her. This was quite aside +from his treatment of her in his will, which, indeed, was strangely +little to her. It was the memory of the crafty and common nature +under that polished exterior that made her recoil from the thought +of him now. + +If this feeling was strengthened by the contrast of the personality +now present to her gaze, how could she be blamed? Surely the man who +stood before her might have seemed to answer any woman's heart's +desire as lover, companion, friend. How her conscience smote her for +the doubts she had once had of him! When she remembered whose +treachery it was that had created these doubts, there was hate in her +heart. + +She did not wish him to see the expression of this feeling in her +face, so she rose abruptly and turned from him. As if he understood +her, he rose also, and crossed the room to the desk at which she had +been seated on his entrance. + +Here were heaped papers and memoranda connected with the Kingdon Hall +estates. Evidently he recognized their character, for he said: + +"At least you have not refused to give me the help that I asked. I've +been talking to Kirke, and he tells me you have been taking an +interest in the affairs of the tenants. Thank you for this." + +In an instant the bitterness in Bettina's heart was changed into a +new and softer emotion. She saw the opportunity of effecting now what +she had been so powerless to effect in the past. Forgetting +everything else, she came quickly to his side and took up one of the +papers. This was in her own handwriting, and was a memorandum of some +length. She held it away from him a moment, her face flushing, and a +look of hesitation showing on it. + +"I never intended that you should see this," she said. "I began it +long ago, and had to put it by; but recently I have taken it up +again, without really knowing why, except that all my whole heart was +in it." + +"What is it?" he asked. "I beg you to let me see it." + +"No," she said. "It is not my affair, and I must remember that. It +concerns some most deplorable facts which I have discovered +concerning the management of the Kingdon Hall estates, but--" + +"Then it is my affair," he interrupted her; "and since you know what +these abuses are, and have looked into them, you surely will not +deprive me of the help that you could give. I ask it as a favor." + +Still Bettina hesitated, but he could see that she was longing to +comply. He could imagine, also, what it was that held her back. + +"Not as a favor to me," he hastened to add; "I appeal to you in the +name of these poor tenants, who have been so long neglected and +abused. This is no new thing to me. I have seen it going on from the +time I was a boy here, and I can truly say that almost the only +pleasure that I have looked forward to in succeeding to the estates +has been the righting of these wrongs. Surely you will not refuse to +help me to do this." + +For answer, Bettina turned upon him a pair of ardent eyes that swam +with tears. + +"Oh, are you really going to do this blessed, glorious thing?" she +said. She had forgotten herself for the moment, and was thinking only +of them--the wretched beings whose wrongs had so long oppressed her, +and who, it seemed, were to have justice and care and kindness at +last. "You don't know how hideous the condition of these poor +creatures is, and how impossible it has been for me to do anything in +the past. To think there is some one who will let me tell about it at +last and give the help that is so needed! But you can do nothing with +such a steward as Kirke. His heart is as cold as ice." + +"Kirke shall go at once. I have long believed that he was unworthy of +the position he holds. If you will give me the benefit of your +investigation and insight into the situation you will save me much +trouble, and you can also feel that these poor people will be that +much nearer to having their distress relieved." + +At these prompt, determined words her heart swelled, and again tears +brimmed her eyes. + +"Oh, thank God that you will help them!" she said. "Now that I am +sure of that, I can go away contented. It would have broken my heart +to leave them so--yet I had not dared to hope that I could do +anything. You have no idea of the extent of it. It will take a great +deal of money to give them new houses, proper sanitary conditions, +and all the things they need." + +"Never mind that--only tell me what to do." + +"But _can_ you do it? I know how comparatively limited you are as to +money." + +"Comparatively only," he said, reassuringly. "I have much less than +my predecessor had, but fortunately I have little pride and simple +tastes. I can let the place in Leicestershire, where the hunting is +good, and I can also lease the town house if necessary. Pray consider +that the question of money is disposed of. I assure you that does not +enter into it." + +Thus invited, Bettina sat down before the desk, while he took a seat +near by, and with the papers before her she went fully into the +questions at issue, showing a grasp of the situation which soon +testified to her companion that she had studied it to some purpose. +All the changes which she recommended were approved, but more than +once his attention was diverted from the purpose of the future to an +indignant contempt for the delinquencies of the past. It was hard for +him to constrain himself to silence as to this, but Bettina thanked +him in her heart for the successful effort which he made. She was too +abject in her sense of compunction for her own past to feel inclined +to severe judgment of another, and in her joy that these cherished +plans of hers were to be immediately realized she was able to put by +for the moment more personal trouble. She spoke with a fervor that +made her beautiful face wellnigh adorable in its kind compassion, and +when she would describe the wrongs and hardships of these poor simple +folk her eyes at times would fill with tears of pity and her voice +would tremble. + +She knew it not, but in this hour she was making a new revelation of +herself to Horace, which answered to the need of his maturer nature +as marvellously as the Bettina of old had satisfied the needs of the +ardent young fellow that he was then. If he remembered that Bettina +only as being beautiful and beloved, he saw in this one a far nobler +and more perfect beauty, as he recognized in her qualities more +worthy to command love. + +Here they were alone together, in a mood of extraordinary openness +and sincerity, for they were thinking the same thoughts of +helpfulness to others, and there was not an atom of the embarrassment +of their personal relationship to come between them now. It was not +singular, therefore, that he, for his part, should have longed to +speak to her, heart to heart, of that mysterious thing which had +divided them, and to tell her that, in spite of all--in spite of +facts that had been flaunted before his eyes in society, in the +public prints, and everywhere--he had never quite succeeded in +stilling a small voice in his soul which had continued to declare +that the young girl to whom he had so passionately given his love was +less fickle and unfaithful than these facts had shown her to be. Now, +more than ever, this insistent voice repeated itself. How he longed +to ask her the simple question! But then came common-sense, and +demanded, What question? Was there any question which he could ask +her to which the fact and conditions of her marriage to Lord Hurdly +were not a final answer? + +As for Bettina, she had also her longings to take advantage of +that interview, when they were speaking together in such friendly +converse, by telling him of the letter of confession which she had +received, but pride here took the place of common-sense, and bade +her to be silent. + +They had gone over all the papers together now. There was no longer +any excuse for lingering. He had given and repeated his assurances +that all these abuses which she so lamented should be remedied, and +she had thanked him again and again. Both felt that the time to part +had come. And yet both felt an impulse to postpone it. It was her +consciousness of this feeling which now made Bettina act. There was +an influence from his very presence which alarmed her. + +"I must go now," she said, her voice a shade unsteady. + +"No, it is I who am going," was the answer. "I return at once to +London, as I have neither the right nor the desire to intrude upon +your privacy. I wish to say, however, that I do not accept your +decision as to your future income. I beg you to give my wish, my +earnest request, your consideration. I shall write to you. Perhaps +I can put the case more clearly so. At all events, I shall try." + +Bettina shook her head. + +"You will simply waste your time," she said. "Nothing can change me +from my purpose of going at once to America, with no income but my +own little inheritance, and taking up my old life there." + +The word inheritance had suggested to both of them the thought of her +mother. They saw the consciousness in each other's eyes. + +"How can you take up your old life there," he said, "when the +presence which made its interest, its very atmosphere, is gone? It is +enough to kill you--and you will not have money to live elsewhere." + +The keen solicitude in voice and eyes could not be mistaken. It +was evident that he cared for what she might suffer--what might +ultimately become of her. The thought was rapture to her starved +and lonely heart. + +"I must bear it," she said, trying to control her voice as well as +her face. "Life will be no harder to me there than elsewhere." + +"You are wrong. In no other spot on earth will the loss of your +mother so oppress you. I know what that has been to you, by my +consciousness of what that possession was. And remember one thing, +which gives me some right to speak to you as I am doing now--I loved +your mother and she also loved me." + +At these words and the tones that accompanied them Bettina's strength +gave way. She dropped back in the seat from which she had risen, and, +hiding her face in her hands, burst into tears. + +She could not see the effect of her weeping on the man, who still +stood motionless and erect before her. She did not know that the +tears sprang into his eyes also, and that the whispered utterance of +her name was on his lips. + +He heard it, however, though she did not, and the knowledge that he +had lost control of himself made him turn away and walk to the other +end of the room. + +When he had stood there a few seconds, with his back turned, he heard +her voice, somewhat shaken, though with the accent of recovered +self-possession, saying, in a tone of summons, + +"Lord Hurdly--" + +An inward revolt sprung up at being so addressed by her. The name had +only sinister associations for him in any case, but to hear it from +Bettina's lips filled him with a sort of rage. + +"Lord Hurdly," she said again, and this time her voice had gained in +steadiness, until it sounded mechanical and hard. + +"I wish to express to you," she said, when he had drawn a little +nearer, "my thanks for your kind intentions concerning me. I can only +repeat, however, that my decision is quite fixed, and that I shall +carry out the plans I have made known to you. Do not urge me further. +Do not write to me. It will be useless. Let me go back to the life +from which you never should have taken me. You were mistaken in +me from the first, and I have been nothing but a trouble and a +hinderance to you. I am sorry. I ask you to forget it all if you can. +But, above all things, I ask, if you would really help me and serve +me in the one way in which I can be helped by you, that you will +consider that the present moment closes our intercourse in every way, +and will show me the respect, little as I deserve it, of proving to +me that in this one instance, at least, you believe me capable of +acting with rectitude and dignity, and of meaning what I say." + +He did not answer her. He only stood profoundly still and looked at +her. That gaze, the searching, scrutinizing power of it, made her +afraid. Trembling with terror of what she might reveal in answer to +it, she turned suddenly and vanished through a door behind her, +leaving him standing there, and with a consciousness that his keen +eyes were on her yet, reading what she so ardently desired to +conceal. + +Once in her own room, she locked the door, and then ran swiftly to +the window, which gave her a view of the terrace below. + +There she saw waiting a hired trap, with its driver drowsing in the +sunlight. As she looked, she saw the man from whom she had just +parted come rather slowly down the steps and get into the shabby +conveyance. His hat-brim hid the upper part of his face, but she saw +the stern set of his jaw, the bronzed pallor of his cheeks. + +She watched the little trap until it had disappeared behind some +great oaks, which were one of the glories of Kingdon Hall. In a +strange way she had come to love this stately old place, and it gave +her a pang to feel that she was about to look her last on it. This +feeling, however, was subordinated to another, which literally tore +her heart; this was that, by the use of every means of thought and +action within her power, she had quite determined never to run the +risk of seeing this man again. + +She knew that her only safety lay in flight, and she set to work at +once to make her preparations to fly. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +In the days that followed, Bettina's only resource was in bodily +activity. She wrote at once and took her passage on a steamer to sail +for America one week from the day of Horace's visit. Then, with +Nora's help, she set to work to do her packing. The French maid was +sent away, and her lady refused all other offers of service. + +Her first impulse had been to leave all her wardrobe and personal +belongings behind her, and this she would undoubtedly have done but +for the counteracting instinct to remove from any possibility of +the sight of the future occupant of these apartments any smallest +reminder of the late Lady Hurdly. No doubt another bearer of that +name would soon be installed in them, and to her the least reminder +of the beautiful Bettina who had once so strangely come to it would +naturally be offensive. + +With this thought in her mind, she eagerly helped Nora to collect +and pack away every trace of her ever having lived here. One record +of the fact it was out of her power to remove, and this was the +full-length portrait of her, in all the state and magnificence of her +proud position, which hung in the picture-gallery, and which Horace +had never seen. Neither had he ever seen her in such a guise, and, in +spite of her, there was a certain exultation in her breast when she +imagined the moment of his first beholding it. Another moment, +equally charged with mingled pride and pain, was the anticipation of +the time when the next bearer of the name and title should come to +have her portrait hung there. No Lady Hurdly who had come before +could bear the comparison with her, and she knew it. Was it not, +therefore, reasonable to believe that those who followed her might +suffer as much by the contrast? + +But these feelings of satisfaction in the consciousness of her +appropriateness to such a setting as Kingdon Hall were only +momentary, and many of those busy hours of work were interspersed +with lonely fits of weeping, when even Nora was excluded from her +mistress's room. The good creature, who had never been burdened with +mentality, went steadily on with her work and asked no questions; +yet it was not unknown to her that Bettina's unhappiness depended not +altogether upon the fact of her recent widowhood, or even upon the +disastrous consequences of it in her future life. + +Two or three times Nora had brought to her mistress letters in a +handwriting which she had not forgotten, and although she made no +sign of suspicion, she did connect these letters with Bettina's +unhappiness. + +Certainly it was no wonder that such letters as she received from +Horace now should have so desperately sad an influence on her. In +them he begged, argued, pleaded with her to grant him this one +request, even using her mother's name to touch and change her. +Indeed, there was a tone in these letters that she could scarcely +understand. Keenly conscious as she was of the injustice of which she +had been guilty toward him, it seemed incredible that he could so +ignore it as to manifest any personal interest in her on her own +account. She even felt a certain regret that he could so lose sight +of this flagrant fact. It had come to be a vital need to her to have +the ideal of Horace in her life. It was now almost more essential to +her to have something to admire than something to love. Under these +conditions she felt a certain sense of disappointment in him, that +he could seem to forget the deep wrong she had done him. And yet, in +utter contradiction to this feeling, his kind ignoring of it soothed +her tortured heart. + +She sent no answer to these letters. She even hoped that by taking +this course she might make the impression on him that she did not +read them. This was her design and her consolation, even while she +read and re-read them with a devouring eagerness. She never paused +to ask herself why this was. She avoided any investigation into +her feeling for Horace. It was enough that, in spite of all the +self-accusation and self-abasement which she carried in her heart, +this being who knew the very worst of her could still think her +worthy of kindness and respect. When she thought of this she felt as +if she could go on her knees to him. + +One fear was constantly before her mind, and that was that he might +seek a personal interview with her again. She dared not trust herself +to this, instinctively as she longed for it. It was, therefore, with +positive terror in her breast that she heard one morning from Nora +that Lord Hurdly was in the house, having come down by train from +London. + +"I cannot see him--I will not!" she cried, in an impassioned protest, +which only Nora could have seen her portray. + +"He did not ask to see you," said Nora. "I met him in the hall, and +he told me to say to you that he required some papers which were in +the library, and that he would, with your permission, like the use of +the room for a few hours. He told me to say that he had had luncheon, +and would not disturb you in any way." + +At these words Bettina felt a sinking of the heart, which was her +first consciousness of the sudden hope she had been entertaining. +This made her reproach herself angrily for such weakness and want +of pride, and with this feeling in her heart, she said, abruptly, + +"There is no answer to Lord Hurdly's message." + +"I beg your pardon," said Nora, hesitatingly, "but I am quite sure he +is expecting an answer." + +"I say there is no answer," Bettina repeated, with a sudden +sternness. "Lord Hurdly is in his own house. He can come and go as he +chooses. His asking permission of me is a mere farce." + +Nora ventured to say no more, and withdrew in silence, leaving her +mistress alone with the consciousness that Horace was in the very +house with her, and that at any moment she might, if she chose, go +to him and tell him all the truth. + +And why did she not? That old feeling between them was quite dead. +She had a right to clear herself from a condemnation which she did +not deserve--a right, at least, to make known the palliating +circumstances in the case. In any other conceivable instance she +would not have hesitated to do so. What was it, then, which made it +so impossible in this instance? + +The answer to this question leaped up in her heart, and so struggled +for recognition that she had an instinct to run away from herself +that she might not have to face it. She wanted to close her eyes, so +that she might shut out the truth that was before her mental vision, +and to put her hands over her ears, that she might not hear the voice +that clamored to her heart. + +Surely a part of this feeling was the compunction which she felt for +having wronged him. That she might openly acknowledge. But that was +not all. She was aware of something more in her own heart. Even that +she might have stifled, and, supported by her pride, might have +concisely told him of the error under which she had acted. But there +was still another thing that entered in. This was a faint, delicious, +disturbing, unacknowledged to her own heart, suspicion about Horace +himself. He had said nothing to warrant her in the belief that his +anxiety about her future was anything more than the satisfaction +of his own self-respect, but her heart had said things which she +trembled to hear, and there was a certain evidence of her eyes. In +leaving her the other day--or rather at the moment of her hurried +leaving of him--he had looked at her strangely. + +That look had lingered in her consciousness, and without effort she +could recall it now. In doing so her cheeks flushed, her heart beat +quicker. She felt tempted to woo the sweet sensation, and by every +effort of imagination to quicken it into keener life, but the +seductiveness of this temptation terrified her. + +She started from her seat and looked about her. How long had she sat +there musing--dreaming dreams which every instinct of womanly pride +compelled her to renounce? She wondered if he had gone. Once more +came that mingled hope and fear that he might seek an interview with +her before leaving. The hope was stronger than ever, and for that +reason the fear was stronger too. + +A footstep in the hall arrested her attention, and she stood +palpitating, with her hand upon her heart. It passed, leaving only +silence; but it had been a useful warning to her. Suppose, in her +present mood, Horace should make his way to her sitting-room and +knock for admittance. Would she--could she--send him away, with her +heart crying out for the relief of speech and confession to him as +it was doing now? + +With a hurried impulse she caught up a light wrap of dense black +material, and passed rapidly into the hall. Her impulse was to go out +of doors, to get away from the house until he should have left it; +but in order to do this from her apartments, she must pass by the +library, and this she feared to do. So she changed her purpose, and +stepping softly that no one might hear her, she entered the long +picture-gallery, and closed the door behind her with great care to +make no noise. Many of the blinds were closed, but down at the far +end where her picture hung there was some light, and with an +impulsive desire to look at this picture, with a view to the +impression that it might make on Horace when he should see it, she +glided noiselessly down the room toward it. + +The full-length portraits to right and left of her loomed vaguely +through the half-light. She glanced at each one as she passed slowly +along, with the feeling that she was taking leave of them forever. In +this way her gaze had been diverted from the direction of her own +portrait, and she was within a few yards of it when, looking straight +ahead of her, she saw between the picture and herself the figure of a +man. + +He stood as still as any canvas on the wall, and gazed upward to the +face before him. Bettina, as startled as if she had seen a ghost in +this dim-lighted room, stood equally still behind him, her hand over +her parted lips, as if to stifle back the cry that rose. + +And still he stood and gazed and gazed, while she, as if petrified, +stood there behind him, for moments that seemed to her endless. + +Presently she saw his shoulders raised by the inhalation of a +deep-drawn breath, which escaped him in an audible sigh. The sound +recalled her. Turning with a wild instinct of escape, she fled down +the long room, her black cape streaming behind her, and vanished in +the shadows out of which she had emerged. + +Somehow, she never knew how, she let herself out into the hall, and +thence she sped through the long corridor, down the stairs, past the +open door of the vacant library, and out into the grounds. She met +no one, and when at last she paused in the dense shadows of some +thick shrubbery, she had the satisfaction of feeling that she had +been unobserved. Here, too, she was quite secluded, and in the effort +to collect herself she sat down on the grass, her knees drawn up, her +forehead resting on them, her clasped hands strained about them. + +How long she remained so, while her leaping heart grew gradually +calmer, she did not know. + +A sound aroused her from her lethargy. It was the clear whistle of +some one calling a dog. She knew who it was before a voice said, + +"Here, Comrade--come to me, sir." + +The voice was not far off, but the shrubbery was between it and her. +She would have felt safe but for the dog. She did not move a muscle. + +The footsteps were drawing near her, and now bounding leaps of a +dog could be heard also. Both passed, and she began to breathe +more freely, when what she had dreaded came. The dog, stopping his +gambols, began to sniff about him. The next moment he had bounded +through the shrubbery and was yelping gleefully at her side. + +Instantly she sprang to her feet and stood there, slight and tall and +straight in her long black wrap, the image of pallid woe. All the +blood had left her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified. + +It was so that she appeared to the man who, parting the branches of +the thick foliage, stood silent and surprised before her. She might +have been the very spirit of widowhood, so desolate she looked. + +Raising his hat automatically, he said, in a strained, unnatural +voice, "Can I do anything for you?" + +She tried to speak, but speech eluded her. + +"I beg your pardon," he said, "but can I do anything for you, Lady +Hurdly?" + +Oh, that name! She had had an instinct to free herself at last from +the burden she had borne, and to tell him, in answer to his question, +that he could do this for her--he could hear her tell of the wretched +treachery by which she had been led to do him such a wrong, and of +the misery of its consequences in her life. But the utterance of that +name recalled her to herself. It reminded her not only who she was, +but also who and by what means he was also. + +[Illustration: "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD"] + +"Leave me," she said, throwing out her hand with a repellent gesture. +"I have gone through much, and I am not strong. If you have any +mercy, any kindness, leave me to myself. It is not proper, perhaps, +that I should ask any favor of you, but I do. I beg you not to speak +or write to me again until I have done what must be done here, and +gone away from this place and this country forever." + +There was an instant's silence, during which Comrade nestled close to +her and tried to lick her hand, all the time looking longingly at +Horace. Then a voice, constrained and low, said, sadly: "I will grant +your favor, Lady Hurdly. What of the favor I have asked of you?" + +"I cannot. It is impossible," she cried. "Surely I have been +humiliated enough without that. It is the one thing you have in your +power to do for me, never to mention that subject again." + +"I shall obey you," he said; "but in return I ask that you will not +forget my request of you, though you have forced me to silence. While +a wrong so gross as that goes unrepaired I can never rest. Remember +this, and that you have it in your power to relieve me of this +burden. Now I will go." + +He turned and vanished through the shrubbery, Comrade after him. + +Bettina sank upon the ground, covering her face with the long drapery +of her cape. Suddenly she felt a touch. Her heart leaped, and she +uncovered her head, showing the light of a great hope in her eyes. + +But it was only Comrade, nestling close to her, with human-eyed +compassion. She threw her arms around him, and pressed her face +against his shaggy side. + +"Did he send you to me, Comrade," she whispered, "because he knew +that I was miserable and alone?" + +The gentle creature whined and wagged his tail as if in desperate +effort to reply. + +"I know he did! I know he did!" she cried. "Oh, how kind and good and +unrevengeful he is! And I can never tell him the truth. I can never +tell that to any human being, Comrade, but I'll tell it to you." She +drew his head close to her lips and whispered a few words in his ear. + +Then she sprang to her feet, a great light in her eyes, as she threw +her arms upward with an exultant movement, and cried, as if to some +unseen witness up above, "I have said it!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +After this Bettina went about her preparations for departure with a +spirit of calm and collectedness which came from the knowledge of +herself, which she had at last fully accepted. Hundreds of times in +these last few days her mother's words had come back to her: "The day +will come when you will know what you are incapable even of imagining +now--what is the one perfect love and complete union that can ever be +between two human beings.... Test the world, if you will--and your +nature demands that you shall test it--but you will live to say one +day: 'My mother knew. My mother's words have come true.'" + +It was even so. She knew now, at last, and the knowledge had come to +her when inexorable necessity compelled her to separate herself +forever from the man who, not suddenly, but by a system of gradual +evolution--from the crude emotions of her girlhood through the +growing consciousness of later years--had now manifested himself to +her as all her heart could desire, all her spirit could crave, all +her mature womanhood could need. She realized that he had long been +this to her, but with a thick veil between herself and him which had +hid the truth from her. The reading of the letter given her by Mr. +Cortlin had torn that veil apart, and she saw him as he was, the man +of her ideal. She did not, at the same moment, see her own heart as +it was. This vision had come to her with her renewed intercourse with +Horace, who had appeared before her now the ripe product of the noble +possibilities which she had vaguely perceived in him once, when she +had cared too little to think deeply of him in any way. + +Oh, to have kept the place she had once had at his dear side! To have +shared with him the privations of a life that would have been narrow +and obscure indeed compared with the one which she had known in its +stead, but, oh, how rich in the way she had now come to count riches! + +Thoughts like these she had to fight against. Perhaps in the end they +would conquer, and would hunt her to the death; but now, until she +could get out of the country, she must put them down. + +She had only a few days left, and she determined to devote a part of +these to some farewell visits among the tenants. As far as she had +been able to do, she had made friends with these poor folk, and had +given what she could to relieve their necessities; but, in comparison +with what was needed, the money at her command had seemed pitifully +small. + +When Lady Hurdly, dressed in her deep widow's mourning, descended the +steps of her stately residence and entered the waiting carriage, +whose black-liveried servants saluted her respectfully, she had a +consciousness that servants and tenants alike must feel a certain +commiseration for the great lady, such as they had known her, now +sunk to poverty as well as obscurity. This feeling made her manner a +little colder and prouder then usual as she sat alone in the sunshine +of a lovely autumn morning and was driven between the beautiful +English hedgerows and through the fertile fields which she had +learned to love. How soon would all be changed for her! And changed +to what? The isolated exile of a place filled with the haunting +memories of the past--her mother, whom she had lost forever, and her +young lover, who was as absolutely lost to her. + +Strangely to herself, it was the latter that she felt to be the +keener pain. To the former she was reconciled; as we do, sooner or +later, reconcile ourselves to the inevitable; but the supreme sting +of this other grief was that she felt it need not have been. Sitting +there in her carriage, the object of much eager attention, she felt +so desolate and wretched that it was with difficulty that she kept +back her tears. + +She dreaded the ordeal before her. She felt that she must take leave +of these people and say a word of kindness to them, since she was so +miserably unable to do more; but these visits were always depressing. +Since the tenants had discovered that they had a sympathetic listener +in her, they had luxuriated in the pouring out of their sorrows. Of +course they had not ventured to accuse her husband of being connected +with them, but the lesson was one that he who ran might read. + +So, when the carriage stopped at the door of the first cottage, she +had made up her mind that she could not stand much in the way of +these miserable confidences to-day, and would make her visits short. + +But when she entered the house she was conscious of a total change of +atmosphere. Every creature in the room gave proof of this, according +to his or her kind. The old woman who sat knitting by the hearth +looked up at her with a dim twinkle in the eyes that had heretofore +expressed nothing but a consciousness that things were bad and +getting worse; and the children, who, indeed, had taken little count +of the depression of their elders, now manifestly shared their relief +from it. It was their mother who, with a strange smile of hope on her +careworn face and a fervent clasping together of her work-worn hands, +made the explanation to the visitor. + +But this explanation, when it had been heard, was almost more of an +ordeal to Bettina than the one which she had feared. Certainly it +made a stronger demand upon her power of self-control. For the +key-note of it all was Horace. He had been here before her, and had +done, or promised to have done, all that she had so passionately +wished to do. His name was on their lips continually; even the little +children lisped it. It was "his lordship this" and "his lordship +that," in a way that furnished a strange contrast to the studied +avoidance of the word under former conditions. + +Somehow, glad as she was, it was hard for Bettina to bear. In the +midst of the accounts of what his lordship had done and said, and +how he was to right all their wrongs and make everybody happy, she +got up and took a hurried leave. + +What was the use of her staying here? What was a little sympathetic +feeling, more or less, to these wretchedly poor creatures? It was +their material needs that they wished satisfied, and a stronger hand +than hers was at work on these. And if--as seemed so plain, as she +could so well imagine from her own knowledge of him--he was able and +willing to give them the sympathy and interest as well as the +practical help they needed, where was any use for her? There was +none--nobody needed her, she told herself, desperately, and the +sooner she lost herself in the oblivion of America the better. + +Each cottage that she visited showed the same metamorphosis in its +inmates. A lame boy to whom she had once given a pair of crutches had +a new wheel-chair, and the crutches were thrown in a corner. A sick +child for whom she had bought some prepared food, which it had not +been able to take, had been sent off to a hospital for regular +treatment, and its poor mother was enjoying the first rest of many +years, with a consciousness that the child was better off than it +could possibly be with her. An old man who had been long bedridden, +and to whom she had sent some clean bedclothes, had been moved into +another room with complete new furnishings, while the occupant of +this room had been sent elsewhere, so that the distressing sense of +over-crowdedness for sick and well was entirely gone from the house. + +In almost every cottage that she visited she saw the same evidences. +How pitiful her own efforts seemed beside these! What was heart +compared with hand? What was sympathy compared with money? And was +she so sure that she gave even the sympathy? She felt in her breast +now no sense of pity for their suffering, no consciousness even of +rejoicing in their relief. The only feeling there--and it seemed to +fill her whole heart--was pity for her own numb, gnawing +wretchedness, for which there could be no relief. + +When the last hurried visit was ended, she drove home, completely +unnerved. Her black veil was lowered before her face, and though she +sat erect and composed to outward seeming, the tears rained down her +cheeks. + +Her remaining days at Kingdon Hall were spent in a state of such +listlessness and inertia that Nora began to fear that she was going +to be ill. She urged her mistress to send for the doctor; but, for +answer, Bettina burst into tears, declaring that she was not ill, and +begging Nora to do everything for her that was necessary to get her +off on the steamer on which she had taken passage, as she felt unable +to do anything herself. + +How the intervening hours passed she never knew; but, as if taking +part in a dream, she went through them all, and at last found herself +settled in her state-room, with Nora to take care of her, and no one +to spy on her or notice what she did. Asking Nora, as piteously as a +child, to help her to undress, she went to bed, and from that bed she +did not rise until the ship had touched another shore, and the +breadth of the world lay between herself and Horace. + +How glad she would have been to lie there and sail on forever, freed +from her responsibility to the future, as she was from that to the +past! + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +It was when Bettina was a matter of three hours out at sea that Lord +Hurdly arrived at Kingdon Hall, and, on being admitted, ordered the +servant to say to Lady Hurdly that he wished to see her. His surprise +was great when the man informed him that Lady Hurdly had that day +sailed for America. + +Dismissing the servant, he went to the library and shut himself up +there alone. How strangely was this house altered to him in one +moment's time! Just now he had felt a presence in it which had made +every atom of it significant. Now, how dead, empty, meaningless, it +had suddenly become! + +The effect of this change was almost startling to him, and for the +first time he had the courage to face himself and to demand of his +own soul an explanation. + +He was a man of a peculiarly uncomplex nature. When, on meeting +Bettina, he for the first time fell deeply in love, he had looked +upon the matter as a finality, and he had never ceased so to regard +it. When she deserted him, without giving him a chance to speak, he +had, in the overwhelming bitterness of his heart, forsworn all women. +It had never occurred to him to put another in Bettina's place. For a +long time a passionate resentment possessed him. When he knew that +Bettina had married his cousin, this resentment had had two objects +to feed upon instead of one; but at first the bitterness of his anger +against the being in whom he had supremely believed greatly +outweighed that against the being in whom he had never believed. Lord +Hurdly had never had it in his power to wound and anger him as +Bettina could. So, when he got transferred from St. Petersburg to +Simla, it was with the instinct of removing himself as far as +possible from Bettina. Of the other he scarcely thought. + +When, however, the first consternation of the sudden blow was over, +and he grew calm enough to be capable of anything like temperate +thought, he tried to imagine how this strange state of things had +come about. + +Obviously Bettina must have sought Lord Hurdly out, and it was almost +certain that she had done this with a view to mediating between him +and his offending heir. He recalled her having said, more than once, +that she intended to win him over, and he pictured to himself what +had probably transpired in the fulfilment of her plan. Lord Hurdly, +who was notoriously indifferent to women, saw in Bettina a new type, +and, as consequent events proved, became possessed of the wish to +have her for his wife. This being so, he had probably not scrupled as +to the means to this end. Gradually, from having held Bettina chiefly +guilty, Horace began to feel that it was quite possible that she had +been less so than the artful and determined man, who had undoubtedly +brought to bear on her all the wiles of which he was master. + +What the wiles were, how unscrupulously they were employed to effect +any end that he had in view, Horace was now more than ever aware. + +And every fresh revelation of them tended to soften him toward +Bettina. He was in the habit of trusting his instincts, and these had +as determinedly declared to him that his cousin was false. On his +return to England, after Lord Hurdly's death, both of these instincts +had found ample confirmation. The more he looked into the affairs of +his predecessor, in his relations to his tenants, his family, his +lawyers, and the world at large, the more did his mistrust and +condemnation of him deepen, while, as for Bettina, it took little +more than the impression of his first interview with her to restore +almost wholly his old belief in her truth and nobleness. + +On the basis of her having been deceived by Lord Hurdly about him, he +could forgive her her marriage. Where would her desolate heart have +turned for comfort? And he knew her nature well enough to realize +that what Lord Hurdly had to offer might have seemed likely to serve +her as a substitute for happiness. He knew, moreover, that Bettina +had never loved him in the sense in which he had loved her, and this +fact made his judgment gentler. + +As he stood there alone, in the great house, strangely empty now that +her rich presence was removed from it, he wished with all his heart +that he had gone to her, and forcing her to look at him with those +candid eyes of hers, had said: "Bettina, tell me the truth. Why did +you do it?" Oh, if he only had! + +Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might +have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of +such a speech, or she might have given him to understand that what +appeared true was really true--namely, that his cousin's splendid +offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to +hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The +thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and +career quite apart from her. + +This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had +satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to +Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had +given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew--her own mother had +avowed it to him--that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the +same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart. +What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the +emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers +was breaking in its loneliness. + +But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his +eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory +out of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and +decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to +consider her, both heartless and false! + +Fortified by the bitter support of this conception of her, he left +the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the +complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed +swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long +picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish +portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what +feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before +that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might +ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that +he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the +gracious image and walked away. + +It was not long, however, before he found himself in Bettina's own +apartments. These he remembered well, and in the main they were +unchanged. Yet what a subtle difference he felt in them! Here on this +great gloomy bed had that poor orphan girl slept, or else lain +wakeful in the dread consciousness which must have come to her when +once she realized the nature and character of the man to whom she had +given herself in marriage. Here in this stately mirror had she seen +herself arrayed in the splendid clothes which were the poor price for +which she had sold her birthright. He stood and looked at himself in +the mirror, with an uncanny feeling that behind his own image there +was that of the beautiful Bettina, whom once he had thought to +protect forever by his love and strength and tenderness, and who now, +with only a hired servant, was alone in the great shipful of +strangers, on her way to the loneliness of that empty little village +which her mother's presence had once so adequately filled for her. + +He went to the wardrobe and opened the door, hoping to find some +trace of Bettina. But no; all was orderly and void. Then he passed on +to the dressing-table and opened the drawers, one by one. In the last +there lay a small hair-pin of fine bent wire. He had an impulse to +take it, but, with a muttered imprecation on his folly, he called to +aid his recent resolution, and hastily left the room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Bettina had been in her old home a week--long enough to recuperate +from her journey and begin to take up her life, such as it was to be. +She would gladly have relaxed entirely and lain in bed to be waited +on and tended by Nora, had this been possible. But she had wearied of +the physical rest, which only made her mental restlessness the +greater, and she had an impulse to reach out her empty hands so that +somehow, somewhence they might be filled. + +The neighbors had called on her promptly, but she could not see them. +They reminded her too much of the mother she had lost. Mr. Spotswood +had also called, but he was a reminder of the other loss, now the +more poignant of the two. When she excused herself to him also he +wrote her a note--the conventional thing, and that merely. It seemed +strangely lacking in the solicitude and affection which she had a +right to expect from her old friend and rector. Bettina was struck +with this, and instantly there flashed over her a reason for it. It +was only natural that he should feel a certain resentment of her +jilting of one of his cousins, even though she had done it in favor +of another and more important one. She remembered that the rector had +been extremely fond of Horace, and at this thought she had a sudden +desire to see him. So she wrote him a note and asked him to come. + +It was so long since she had talked with any one, and she was so +nervous after all her morbid imagining, that she was feeling utterly +unlike the old self-reliant, active-minded girl he remembered when +the rector entered the room. She also, on her part, was unprepared +for the feelings aroused by the sight of him; and when he came in, +his grave face and gentle manner so entirely unchanged, in contrast +to all the changes she had undergone, Bettina felt a sudden tendency +to tears. The thought of her mother also helped to weaken her, and +the thought of Horace was a still harder strain on her endurance. + +She saw a certain constraint in his manner first, as she had +perceived it in his note. She felt unaccountably hurt by it, and when +he took her hand a little coldly and inquired for her health, a rush +of feelings overwhelmed her and she burst into tears. + +In evident surprise, the visitor tried to soothe her as best he +could. Naturally supposing that this grief was in consequence of her +recent widowhood, he pressed her hand, and said, gently: + +"I trust you are not overtaxing yourself by seeing me, my child. If +you had preferred not to do so I should not have misunderstood. Your +bereavement is so recent that--" + +But Bettina, trying to silence her sobs, interrupted him. + +"Oh, forgive me, Mr. Spotswood," she said. "I had not thought I +should break down like this. I have been perfectly calm. It is not +what you suppose. Oh, I feel so wretched, so lonely, so bewildered! I +would give the world if I could speak out my heart to one human +being." + +The rector looked surprised, but visibly softened. + +"To whom may you speak if not to me, Bettina?" he said. "Surely, +whatever trouble is on your heart, you may count upon my sympathy." + +Bettina did not speak. With her face hid in her pocket-handkerchief +she shook her head, as if in dissent from the idea of his sympathy. + +Feeling rather helpless, he changed his tactics, in an honest +endeavor to get at the real cause of her trouble. + +"Naturally, my child," he said, "the sight of me brings back the +thought of your beloved mother. Such a sorrow--" + +But again she interrupted him, this time by a silent gesture of the +hand. Then she said: + +"It is not that. I've got used to that ache, and although my heart +would not be my heart without it, that is a silent and accepted +sorrow now. Oh, Mr. Spotswood," she said, impetuously, uncovering +her tear-stained face and looking at him with the helplessness +of a child, "you are a clergyman; you teach that God is love and +compassion and forgiveness; you have a kind heart! I know you have. +Perhaps if I could tell you all I have suffered, and how deeply I +have repented, you would be sorry for me, and not blame me as much +as I deserve to be blamed." + +She was looking at him tentatively, as if to see how far she could +trust to the forbearance of which she felt she had now such need. + +The rector's heart was deeply touched. This show of humility in the +high-spirited, self-willed girl that he remembered took him by +surprise. + +"It could never be my impulse to blame you, my dear child, and the +less so when I see how bitterly you are blaming yourself for this +unknown thing. If you will tell me about it, I will do all that may +be in my power to help you. At all events, you may count upon my +loving sympathy." + +"Ah, if I only could! It would be much to me now. But you are +ignorant of what you are promising. In a certain way it concerns +yourself, or at least a member of your family." + +She saw a slightly hardened look come into his face, but it quickly +gave way to a gentler one. + +"No matter what it is, if you have suffered and repented, the best +sympathy of my heart is yours." + +"You will regard it as a confidence--a sacred confidence?" said +Bettina. "I could only tell you with that understanding. I know that +a clergyman is accustomed to keeping the secrets of his people, and I +could not say a word unless I were sure that this thing would rest +forever between you and me." + +[Illustration: "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'"] + +Wishing to soothe her in every possible way, the rector gave her +his promise to keep sacred what she might tell him; and thus +reassured, poor Bettina opened her heart. The relief of it was so +exquisite and the experience was so rare, that she told it all with +the abandonment of a child at its mother's knee, and with a degree of +self-accusation that might well have disarmed condemnation, as indeed +it did. + +Up to the time of her meeting with Horace in England, she kept back +nothing, describing with absolute truth her feelings as well as her +conduct. When she had reached that point, however, a sense of +instinctive reserve came to her, and a few brief sentences described +what had happened since. + +At the end of her recital she paused, looking eagerly into the +rector's face, as if she both hoped and feared what he might say. + +"Truly, my child, it is a wretched story," he began, as if a little +careful in the choosing of his words, "but the knowledge of it has +deepened instead of lessened my sympathy for you. Your fault has been +very great, but so is your sense of compunction; and as far as +suffering can expiate, surely you have done much to atone. My own +knowledge of the character of the late Lord Hurdly was such that I +cannot pretend to be greatly surprised at what you have told me +concerning him. I regret to say it, but justice must be done to the +living as well as to the dead. The present Lord Hurdly will prove, I +trust and believe, an honor to the name. My intercourse with him has +been comparatively limited, but no young man has ever inspired me +with a stronger sense of confidence. So much do I feel this that I +will confess to a strong desire that he should know upon what ground +you acted toward him as you did. I have given my word to you, +however, and perhaps it is as well. That poor man so lately gone to +his account has stains enough upon his memory without this added one. +And when I think of Horace--what he has suffered through the +treachery of his kinsman--I feel that it is perhaps kindest to him +also to leave this dark secret in the oblivion which buries it in our +two hearts." + +Bettina seemed not to hear his last words. + +"He has suffered? You think he has suffered, and through me?" + +"Is it possible that you can doubt it?" + +"He gave no sign," began Bettina, hesitatingly. + +"To you--certainly not. How could he?" + +"Did he to you?" she said, breathlessly. + +The rector looked at her with a sort of sad scrutiny, and was silent +a moment. Then he said: + +"He wrote me one letter--the most brokenhearted expression of +suffering I have ever read. It was before your marriage, when he +still had some slight hope that you had mistaken your own feelings, +in the statement of them which you had made in your letter to him. +But then came the announcement of your marriage, since which time +your name has not been mentioned between us." + +"Did you keep that letter?" she said. + +"I did." + +"Will you let me see it?" + +"I am afraid I cannot properly do that." + +"I beg that you will, Mr. Spotswood. You would be doing me a very +great favor, and for your cousin's sake also I think I may venture to +ask it. I was told that he was 'fickle and capricious, incapable of a +sustained affection,' and much more in the same line. I should be +truly glad to know that this was false." + +"I can give you my word for that." + +"But you can give me also his word, if you will," she said, +beseechingly. "Oh, my dear, dear friend, I too have suffered, and I +believe that what I have endured is the worst of pain, for it comes +from the knowledge of wrong to another. You cannot take away that +pain, but perhaps you can restore to me a lost ideal. I had come to +think that there was no such thing as love--real love--in the world; +to believe not only that the man who had professed it for me was +false in that profession, but that it really did not exist. Let me +see that letter. It is an impersonal thing to me now, but I feel that +it would strengthen me for all my future life. I am going to try to +be good; indeed I am," she said, her lips trembling like a child's. +"If I feel that that letter would help me, why may I not see it?" + +The rector hesitated visibly; then he said: + +"You shall see it, Bettina. I cannot feel that it will do any harm, +and it will be an act of justice, perhaps, to him as well as to you. +Whoever represented him to be lacking in depth of feeling has done +him a wrong indeed. I had no need to have this proved to me, but if +there be such a need in any breast, the reading of this letter must +do away with it." + +In a few moments he rose to take leave, having promised to send the +letter to her. + +"Will you send it at once?" she asked. "May Nora go with you and +bring it back?" + +In the stress of her feeling she forgot the impression that her +eagerness might make; but it had not been lost upon the rector, who +pondered all these things in his heart as he went homeward. + +When he had given the letter to Nora, and she had taken it to her +mistress, he wondered if he had done well. Bettina had not pretended +that she had really loved the man to whom she had first engaged +herself. The preoccupied interest and affection which she had given +him then were not misrepresented in her confession to the rector, +and she had been absolutely silent as to her subsequent and present +feeling toward him. All that she said, the whole burden of her song, +was that she had so wronged him in that past time; never once had she +hinted at the possibility of any renewal of relations between them. + +In spite of all this, the rector knew Bettina well, and he recognized +the fact that she was under the dominion of some larger and deeper +feeling than he had ever known her to have except her affection for +her mother. And had even that, he asked himself, so permeated her +whole being--mind, soul, and character--as this feeling in which he +now saw her so absorbed? He answered that it had not. It was, +therefore, taking a certain responsibility upon himself to show this +letter. But he was acting in the interest of truth and justice, and +he could not find it in his heart to regret what he had done. + +Temperate, judicious, deliberate as the rector was in all his mental +processes, he could not imagine that any result could come from the +course which he had taken, except some very remote one. Bettina had +shown plainly her determination never to divulge to Horace the +contents of Mr. Cortlin's letter; he was under promise to keep the +secret also, so there was no ground upon which the intercourse +between them could be renewed. Besides this, Bettina was but recently +become a widow. The proprieties of the situation demanded absolute +seclusion for a year at least, and, in Mr. Spotswood's consciousness, +propriety was supreme. He never took count of the fact that +conventions could be disregarded by any right-minded person, and to +this extent at least he conceived Bettina to be right-minded. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +The reading of that letter from Horace to the rector was a crisis in +Bettina's life. Its effect upon her was singular. When she eagerly +took in those pages filled with such anguish as possesses the heart +but once or twice in a lifetime, the consciousness that it was she, +Bettina, who had created such a love in the heart of the man that +Horace Spotswood was to her now, so exhilarated her that she was +capable of but one feeling--exultation. To have had this love, though +now she had it not, seemed to glorify her life. To have caused him +such sorrow--how greatly he had cared! In spite of all there was +rapture in it! + +That mood was followed by one of intense regret--an excoriating +self-accusation that made her spirit writhe before her own bar of +justice. Then, by degrees, when there came a moment of comparative +calm, she forced herself to recognize the fact that it was the +Bettina of the past who had been so loved, and that the man who had +so loved her was that youthful and impulsive Horace. Was not the +present Bettina, the slightingly treated widow of his cousin, a very +different being--as different as was the present Lord Hurdly from +that old and outgrown other self? Surely the change in both was +great--a change which she construed as absolutely to her own +disadvantage as it was to his advantage. + +Yet, in spite of this, that letter brought a strange strength to +her heart. Since it was now so plain that he had so truly, so +worshippingly loved her, she felt a summons to her soul to be her +highest possible, to overcome the slothful and the evil in her, and +live as it became the woman who had been so loved by such a man. +Above all, she longed to make her life avail for the good of others, +that she might make it a thank-offering for what she had received in +the knowledge that had come to her through that letter. + +For, after its perusal, she knew that never again could she entertain +the doubts which had so often filled her mind at the thought of the +complete silence in which Horace had accepted her rejection of him. +Sometimes she had fancied that it might have been a relief to him--a +way out of a difficult situation; but now forever in her heart she +could carry the proud consciousness that she had been as passionately +loved as she had been desperately regretted. + +It was a strange source, perhaps, from which to draw strength, but it +availed her now. With a sudden renewal of the energy of her youth she +began to look about her for work which she might do. Fortunately the +rector was ready with practical, immediate employment for heart and +hand, and pocket, too, alas! for now the fact was forced upon her +consciousness that she was poor. It would be as one of themselves, +only somewhat different in degree, that she must help these suffering +ones, and, in spite of being hampered by this limitation, there was a +certain sweetness in it. Her work among the poor had begun at Kingdon +Hall, and there she had been often baffled by the sense of the +difference between herself and those whom she wished to help. She +knew that this consciousness was in their hearts as well as in hers, +and that it made an impalpable but positive barrier. But now and here +all was different. She longed for the money that would have enabled +her to do so much more, and yet she felt it, somehow, sweet to be as +they. Her consciousness of her own past wrong-doing had so penetrated +her soul with humility that she was like a totally different being. + +She had said nothing to the rector of her determination not to touch +the money that her late husband had left her, but she strictly +adhered to this resolve. It was impossible. She simply felt she could +not. She found no difficulty in forgiving him for all that he had +done. She was too tender-hearted to bear malice toward the dead, +but she could not touch his money. Since she had once thought about +it--receiving food and clothes and comforts from his hands--she had +realized that it was an impossibility. She knew that the money was +deposited in bank for her, but there it might remain. She had told +Horace that she would not touch it, and he should see that she would +keep her word. + +Then came a thought that made her smile. He had wished to force upon +her the acceptance of a larger sum, because it was not proper that +Lord Hurdly's widow should live otherwise than in pomp and +circumstance. If he could see her now! This it was that made her +smile. + +She had shut up all the house except the rooms on the first floor, in +which she and Nora lived alone. She kept no other servant, and this +economy it was that enabled her to give to others. She had almost no +personal wants, and the income which had sufficed for her mother and +herself was more than enough for her alone. A little sting of injured +pride there had been at first, when her poverty became apparent to +the neighbors, who naturally expected her to enlarge rather than +curtail her expenses; but she soon got the better of this. The issues +of her life were in a wider field than mere neighborhood comment, +and, besides this, her friends and associates were now chosen chiefly +from the class who were too ignorant for such comment and +speculation. + +For Bettina had thrown herself with a passionate fervor into the work +which her hands had found to do. The one assuagement for the pain in +her own heart seemed to be the alleviation of the pain in other +hearts. She felt, also, a sense of thankfulness for the knowledge +which had come to her through the rector, which made the whole work +and service of her life seem all too little for her to give in return +for this boon. As for Horace, her feeling for him was akin to +worship. It was he who represented to her henceforth the ideal which, +like a fixed star, should give light to her path, though so +immeasurably far above her. + +What a strange life was this into which she had now entered! She felt +the certainty that her courage would be sufficient for it, but with +all her resolution she could not always keep back the bitter tears of +her wordless, hopeless, uncontrollable longing. At times this was a +thing so mighty that she had the feeling that, if her body were only +as strong as her spirit, she would be able to swim through those +thousands of watery miles that separated them, only to tell him the +truth, and then lay down her life at his feet. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +It was one of Bettina's weary days. Its hours had lagged and dragged +until the evening had come, and she had sunk down, exhausted and +depressed, in a big old-fashioned chair in front of her wood fire, +which seemed the only ray of cheerfulness within or without. She had +had these feelings before, and she knew that they would probably +pass, but never before had it been so borne in upon her that life was +sad and wretched alike for those whom she was trying to help and for +her who was so in need of help herself--little as they dreamed it. +Were they worth helping, those poor evil-environed creatures who so +continually disappointed her hopes and efforts? Was she worth +helping, either--weak, aimless creature that she was--who had vowed +to be content in the mere consciousness that Horace lived, and that +he had once supremely loved her, and then again and again had fallen +into this hopeless discontent which thirsted so for what she had +pledged herself to give up--the possession of that love to satisfy +the present hour's need? + +She lay back in the big deep chair, her white hands loosely grasping +its arms, and her white lids lowered. Now and then a tear would +trickle from beneath those lids and a slight contraction of pain +would move her lips. Any one looking in upon her so might well have +wondered where were the friends and companions of this beautiful, +lonely woman, shut into this small room, in the silence of a twilight +that hung damp and gray outside, and that the smouldering fire +lighted but fitfully within, while the low murmur of flames fitfully +broke the silence. + +Not a sound escaped her lips. She gazed longingly, sadly into the +glowing heart of the fire, and saw visions and dreamed dreams, but +not pleasing ones; they only served to make her sadness deeper. + +Presently the door opened, and Nora came in with the lamp. Glancing +at her mistress, who did not move, the woman then went out and +brought a small tea-service on a tray. + +"Don't light the kettle yet, Nora," said a low voice from the depths +of the chair. The speaker did not move; her manner was that of a +person who deprecated the least noise or intrusion, and Nora took +the hint and silently put down the tray. Then, in the same dull tone, +her mistress said: + +"I know you want to go to church. Go. I can make tea for myself when +I want it." + +Nora, in comprehending silence, left the room. + +Still the relaxed figure in the chair moved not. The fire whiffed and +crackled now and then, but beyond this there was no sound. The +lamplight showed more plainly the fair youth and loveliness of that +black-clad form, which never, in its most brilliant days, had looked +so exquisite as now, when there was none to gaze upon its beauty or +to share its solitude. The hands were ringless, for Bettina had taken +off her wedding-ring after the reading of the letter which the lawyer +had brought her, and with it she had renounced the last vestige of +allegiance to her late husband's memory. There was no bitterness in +her heart toward him. Simply he existed not, as though he had never +been. + +Vaguely she heard the sound of Nora's departure, as the door was +closed behind her, and still she sat there wordless, motionless, +almost breathless as it appeared, for her bosom scarcely seemed to +move. + +Presently there came two tears from under the closed lids; then +quickly others followed them. The sense that she was freed even from +the danger of Nora's observation weakened her more and more. Then +with the helpless, whispering tones of an unhappy child, she said: + +"My God, how desolate I am! How can I bear it? How long must it +endure?" + +Still she did not move except to raise her lids and cast upward her +tear-drenched eyes, while she caught her lower lip between her teeth. + +Suddenly there was a step upon the piazza--a man's step, as if in +haste. She started and sat upright. Who could it be? No man except +the rector ever visited her, and this was not the rector's step. She +hastily brushed away the traces of her tears and sat listening. + +Then came a tap at the door--not loud, but firm, distinct, decided. +It sounded strange to her, unlike the tap of any messenger or servant +who had ever come to her house. + +She got up, leaving the door of the sitting-room open that the light +might enter the dark hall. + +Then, most unaccountably, a sense of fear, very unusual to her, +seemed to possess her. She stood still a moment in the hall and +waited. + +The knock was repeated, so near this time that it made her start. She +was not naturally a timid woman, but she felt a sense of physical +fear which was totally unreasoning. What harm was likely to come to +her from such a source? She compelled herself to go forward and open +the door. + +It was very dark outside, and she vaguely distinguished the outline +of a tall man standing before her. The light from the open door at +her back threw out her figure in distinct relief, and it was evident +that she had been recognized, for a voice said, in low but distinct +tones, + +"Lady Hurdly." + +She gave a cry and pressed both hands against her breast, sharply +drawing in her breath. Then she took a few steps backward, throwing +out one hand to support herself against the wall. + +"Forgive me," said the well-known voice--the voice out of all the +world to which her blood-beats answered. "I have come on you too +suddenly. I ought to have written and asked permission to call. I +should have done so, only I feared you might deny me." + +Somehow the door was closed behind them and they had made their way +into the lighted room. Bettina, still pale and breathless, began to +murmur some excuses. + +"I beg your pardon; I was frightened. Nora had gone out, and I was +all alone. I did not know who it might be. I never have visitors, and +I was afraid to open the door." + +He was looking at her keenly. + +"You should not be alone like this," he said, both resentment and +indignation in his tone. "Why do you never have visitors? Why did +Nora leave you? Where are the other servants?" + +"There are no others. There is only Nora," she said, recovering +herself a little. "I let her go to church to-night. I am not usually +afraid. Why should I be? Perhaps I am not very well." As she uttered +these incoherent sentences she sank into a chair and he took one near +her. + +The expression of his face had changed from anxiety to a stern +sadness. + +"And you live alone like this," he said, "without proper service or +protection? And, in spite of all that I could say and do, you will +not take the miserable pittance which is your own, and which is +wasted there in the bank, where it can avail for no one? Do you think +this is right to yourself--or kind to me?" + +The quiet reproach of his tone disturbed her. + +"I do not mean to be unkind," she said, her voice not quite steady, +"and indeed I have all that I need. Nora has more than time to attend +to me, and as for company, it is because I do not want it that I do +not have it." + +"And you think you can live without companionship?" he said. "You +will find you are mistaken; but of that I have no right to speak. +There is one subject, however, on which I do claim this right, and it +is the fulfilment of this purpose which has brought me to America." + +"You came all this way to see me?" she said, lifting her brows as if +in gentle deprecation. "You were always kind." Her voice broke and +she said no more. + +"It is not a question of kindness," he said. "It is a matter of the +simplest right and duty. Will you hear me? Are you able to hear me +to-night, or shall I come again to-morrow?" + +"Speak now," she said. "I am perfectly well, and am ready to hear +whatever you may have to say." + +Her voice gave proof of a recovered self-control. The necessity of +making this a final interview between them was borne in upon her, and +sitting very still and erect, with her hands clasped tightly +together, she waited to hear what he might say. + +"Your leaving England so suddenly," he began, "was, as I need not +say, a disappointment to me. I had hoped to change your mind and +purpose concerning the acceptance not only of money which is your own +by legal right, but of such as is also yours by every rational law of +possession. It was to me an insupportable idea that you should go +away without the means of living as becomes your rank and station." + +Bettina, with a rather chill smile, shook her head. + +"Rank and station I have none," she said. "I have money enough to +live as becomes my mother's child; that I am, and no more. It is the +only bond to the past which I acknowledge. The name and title which I +bore a little while were never mine in a real and true sense. I do +not care to speak of it; it is all past; but the very fact that your +cousin saw fit to leave me with what you call a mere pittance shows +that he felt the distance, the lack of union, between us, as I felt +and feel it." + +It was a relief to her to say this much. He could gather nothing from +it, and she wanted him to know that she had freed her soul from +every vestige of its bondage to the man whom she chose to designate +as his cousin rather than by any relationship to herself--even a past +one. This point did not escape him. + +"It is with humiliation that I receive your reminder that that man +was, in flesh and blood at least, akin to me," was the answer; "and +for that reason I have felt it to be my duty to make whatever poor +reparation may be in my power for the evil that he has done." + +He spoke with extreme seriousness, and there was a tone in his last +words which conveyed to Bettina the suspicion that they referred to +something more than any act of Lord Hurdly's which had heretofore +been mentioned between them. + +She waited, therefore, in some agitation to hear what his next words +should be. + +"I shall have to ask your forgiveness," he said, "for touching upon +a matter which might well seem to be an impertinence on my part. The +necessity is forced upon me, however, and I shall be as brief as +possible, if you will be good enough to listen." + +Bettina answered merely by a bend of the head. + +"As long as I can remember," he began, "I have had a certain +instinctive distrust of the late Lord Hurdly. It grew with my +growth; but I never thought it proper, under the then existing +circumstances, to give expression to it. As time went on, observation +confirmed instinct, and it became evident to me that he was a man of +powerful will, and was more or less unscrupulous in the attainment of +its ends. After his death, in going into the affairs of the estate, +and various other matters which came under my observation, I found +that the truths laid bare before me revealed him as a far worse man +even than I had imagined. It was a revolting manifestation in every +sense; but even when those matters had been closed up--when I +supposed that I was done with the man and aware of the worst--a +revelation was made to me which, though of a piece with the rest, +and no worse in its essence and kind, came home to me with a +thousandfold intensity, from the fact that it nearly concerned both +myself and you." + +Bettina's heart beat wildly. She dared not look at him, and with an +instinct to protect herself from betrayal at every cost, she said, in +a voice which was so cool and calm that the sound of it surprised her +as it fell upon her ear: + +"Go on. Explain yourself." + +She had taken up a paper from the table and was using it as if to +screen her face from the fire, but she managed to get somewhat in the +shadow of it, so that her companion had only a partial view of her +features and expression. In this position, with her eyes bent upon +the fire, her countenance was wholly inscrutable to him. There was a +moment's silence before he continued. + +"How far the explanation is necessary," he said, "I do not know. I am +aware that you received a sealed letter, through Cortlin, from a man +named Fitzwilliam Clarke, who is now dead. What that letter contained +is your own affair. I also received a letter from the same source and +by the same hand. It is of the revelation contained in that letter +that I am come to speak to you." + +Bettina hardly knew whether she was waking or sleeping. The +astounding suddenness of the consciousness which had come to her now +seemed to stun both her body and her mind. She made no sign, however, +as she sat absolutely still, and her companion went on. + +"The letter to you was delivered, you remember, before my return to +England. The interval which elapsed before the delivery of the letter +to me--which occurred scarcely more than a week ago--was due to the +fact that Cortlin had been instructed to put each of these letters +into the hands of none but the man and woman to whom they were +addressed. In the second instance he was prevented by illness from +the prompt performance of his duty. He has had a long and serious +attack of fever. As soon as his condition of health permitted he sent +for me and put the letter into my hands, telling me that he was +ignorant as to its contents, but that a letter from the same source +had been delivered to you by him immediately after the death of the +scoundrel whose treachery had betrayed you into a marriage with him." + +Bettina could not speak or look at him. The thoughts which were +seething through her brain were too confused for speech. One thing, +however, was quite clear to her. The resentment that this man so +fiercely manifested was for her sake, not his own. His anger was an +impersonal thing. He had a manly and chivalrous nature, and the mere +fact that her mother had once committed her into his keeping would +constitute a strong claim on such a nature. He was outraged that a +countryman and kinsman of his own could so villanously have duped +her. As for his own wrongs in the matter, he apparently did not +consider these. For all consciousness of them in his words and tones +they might never have existed. + +While these thoughts were passing through her mind, he had risen, and +was pacing the floor with restless strides. Now he paused in front of +her and said: + +"I trust it may not seem to you that I did wrong to come to you and +tell you of the revelation that had been made to me. I have done it +in the belief that the letter which you received conveyed the same +information. May I be allowed to know if this is true?" + +Bettina bent her head, but said no more. + +"Then I feel myself justified in having come," he said, in a tone of +relief. "If I could have known you ignorant of the infamous wrong +that was done you, by the unscrupulous means used to beguile you into +a marriage which must so have tortured and humiliated any woman, I +might have kept silent. It might perhaps have been best to omit from +the list of the wrongs you must have suffered this crowning infamy of +all. But since it seemed certain that you knew it, and since it had +doubtless been the reason of your refusing to touch the money which +was so rightfully your due, and of your leaving the country where +this great wrong had been done you, I could not rest until I had +spoken. I could not still the longing to give you a certain solace +which I hoped it might be in my power to give. I knew how sad and +lonely you were. I had written to the rector and asked for tidings of +you." + +"You had? He never told me," she said, wonderingly. + +"I particularly bound him not to do so; but I did write more than +once, and got his answers. In that way it came to me that you were +unhappy--courageously and unselfishly, yet profoundly so, and it was +not difficult for me to comprehend the reason. You will forgive me +for going into a dead and buried issue for this once; but I knew your +nature, and it was obvious to me that you were torturing yourself +because you felt that you had done a wrong to me." + +Bettina caught her breath suddenly, and covered her face with her +hands. + +"Is it not so?" he said. + +But she could not speak. The shrinking anguish of her whole attitude +was her only answer. + +Then he took the seat nearest her, and said: + +"It is with the hope of lifting this totally unnecessary burden from +your mind that I have come. I beg you to have patience with me while +I speak to you quite simply and tell you why you would be doing wrong +to blame yourself on my account. For this once I must ask you to let +me speak of the past--not the recent past--let us consider that in +its grave forever--but the remote past, in which for a short while I +had a share. I, too, have my confession to make and pardon to beg, +for I am conscious that I wronged you, though it was through +ignorance, youth, inexperience, and also--forgive me for mentioning +it, but it is my best justification--also because I loved you, with a +love which I was then too ignorant even to comprehend. I needs must +beg you to remember that, in owning my great wrong to you. This +wrong," he continued, after an instant's pause, "consisted in my +urging you to marry me when you did not love me. I feared it was so, +even then; but I was selfish; I thought of myself and not of you. +When the whispered misgiving would rise up in my mind I forced it +down by vowing that if you did not already love me I could and would +make you do so. When the blow fell, and I knew that I had lost you, I +knew that my selfishness in thinking chiefly of my own happiness had +been properly rewarded. At least this was the feeling that possessed +my heart after the first. You were young, confiding, inexperienced. I +knew better than you possibly could know that you did not love me. +Later, you knew it also." + +He waited, as if for her response. From behind her close-pressed +hands the answer came. + +"Yes," she said, lowly, "I have long known that it was a mistake on +my part. You are right. I did not love you." + +Had she been looking, she would have seen a shadow cross his face--a +very faint one, as the hope that it obscured had been faint also. + +"Therefore," he said, "I took advantage of you, and obtained from you +a promise which I should never have asked. I want you to feel that I +realize the wrong I did you in that, and ask your forgiveness for +it." + +Slowly she lowered her hands and looked at him. + +"And you can ask forgiveness of me?" she said. + +"I humbly beg it--as on my knees." + +"Then what should be my attitude to you?" + +"The proud and upright one of never having done me any conscious +wrong." + +"But when I left you, rejected you, threw you off--" + +"That was not done to me, but to the man you supposed me to be--the +man who had been proved to you a scoundrel, by such proof as any one +would have deemed you mad to doubt." + +She looked at him somewhat timidly. + +"You are generous indeed," she said. + +"I am no whit more than just. You were absolutely warranted in such +a course toward me. What I long to do--what I have crossed the world +in the hope of doing--is to get you to forgive yourself, to free +yourself of a hallucination which is casting a needless shadow on +your life." + +"Oh, you are good--good!" she said. "I never knew so kind a heart. +Therefore must my unending misery be the greater that I have once +wounded it." + +"That consciousness should have no sting for you hereafter. You did +it in utter ignorance. I cannot claim that I was half so ignorant in +my wrong toward you. But surely we may remember that we have once +been friends, and so we may feel that there is full and free +forgiveness between us before we part." + +She did not speak. That last word had pierced too deeply to her +heart. + +"You do forgive me--do you not?" he said, as if he misunderstood her +silence. + +"I thank you--I bless you--I seek _your_ forgiveness," she said. + +At these last words he smiled--a smile that had a certain bitterness +in it. Then suddenly his face became rigidly grave. + +"If I had not given you my forgiveness, long ago," he said, "I should +like to offer it to you now, at a price. I wish to God that I could." + +"What do you mean?" she said, a sweet perplexity upon her face. "What +price have I to pay for anything?" + +"Ah, there it is! It may seem brutal of me to put a literal +construction upon what you have used as a figure of speech, but let +the truth come out. You are poor, unprotected, alone, and you ask me +to go and leave you so! God knows it is little enough that I have it +in my power to do, but the possession of money would enable you at +least to live as it becomes you to live. I do not speak of your +title--it is not what you are called, but what you are, that I have +in mind. If you had money, even the small income which I so desire +that you shall accept, your life would be different." + +But Bettina looked away from him, and shook her head in the gentle +negation which he knew to be so final. + +"How would my life be different?" she said. + +"You could make it so." + +"In what way?" + +"You could travel, for one thing." + +"I do not want to travel. I desired it once, and I got my wish. But +with it came a wretchedness that all the travelling in the world +could not carry me away from." + +"Then what is to be your life?" + +"What you see it now. I do not wish to change it for any other. I +have tried the world and its rewards. There is nothing in them." + +Her tone of absolute, unexpectant decision maddened him. + +"My God, Bettina!" he exclaimed, too excited to notice that the name +had escaped him. "Are you in earnest? Can you mean it? I wish I could +believe that you did not. But there is a deadly reality about you now +which makes me fear that you will keep your word. That you should +spend your life in this isolation, that you--you--" + +He broke off, as if words failed him. + +"What better can I do?" she said. "You must not think of me as idle +and useless. I am going to try not to be that. I have tried a little. +Ask the rector. And I am going to try more. There is but one thing +that I deeply desire, and that is to be a better woman than I have +been in the past. Oh, I will try hard--I will, indeed I will--to do a +little good in the future, to make up for all the harm I have done!" + +She ceased, her voice failing her, and as she looked at the man +standing near her she saw that he was scarcely listening. Some +intense preoccupation made him take in but vaguely what she was +saying. She saw that he was deeply moved in some way, and the +consciousness that this was so gave her a sense of alarm. She felt +her own will weakening, and she knew that somehow she must get this +parting over, if her strength were to suffice for it. + +"Good-bye," she said, holding out her hand. + +"Don't be too sorry for me. You have lightened my heart inexpressibly +by what you have told me. Now that I can feel that you know +all--that, wrong and wicked as I was, I was not so false as it +seemed--I can bear the future with courage. I am sure of it. I want +to say good-bye now, because I prefer not to see you again. You would +only try to shake me in a determination that is not to be shaken. +Don't trouble about me--please don't," she added. "I have health and +youth, and these will suffice me for what I have to do." + +"Health and youth!" he cried, ignoring her proffered hand, and +throwing his own hands up in a gesture of repudiation. "And what do +these signify in a situation such as yours? They only mean that you +will prolong an existence which, for such a woman as you, seems worse +than death. You ask me to leave you so? To say good-bye--" + +"Yes, I beg it, I implore it, I insist upon it," she interrupted him, +feeling that her strength was almost gone. "You have said that you +were willing to do me a service--then leave me." + +She sank back in her chair exhausted. + +"My God! am I a brute?" he said. "Have I made you ill with my idiotic +persistency? I will go. I will rid you of the distress and annoyance +of my presence. But before I go, Bettina," he said, with a sudden +break in his voice, "I must and will satisfy my heart by one thing: I +must, for the sake of my own soul's peace, tell you this. I have +never ceased to love you, and I never shall. I gave you up when I saw +the renunciation to be inevitable, but I knew then, as I know now, +that I can never put any other in your place. You were the love of my +youth, and you will be the love of my old age, if my lonely life goes +on till then. Don't turn from me. Don't hide your face like that. I +ask nothing but this sacred right to speak. I know you never loved +me. I know it is not in me--if, indeed, it be in any mortal man--to +enter into the heaven of being loved by you. But, at least, you have +been the vision in my life--the sacred manifestation of what girl and +sweetheart and woman and wife might be--and for that I thank you. In +the shadow of that beatific vision I shall walk henceforth, and +believe me when I say that I shall walk there alone." + +Bettina, with her face buried in her hands, remained profoundly +still. When he had waited a moment he began to fear that he had +overtaxed her strength too far, and that she might have fainted. + +Kneeling in front of her, he took her two wrists gently in his hands +and tried to draw them away from her eyes. The strong resistance that +she made to this gave evidence enough that she was conscious in every +sentient nerve. + +"Forgive me," he said; "I am going--I have been wrong to force all +this upon you--but it is the last time that we shall meet. Let me, I +pray you, see your face once more before I turn away from it +forever." + +The tense hands relaxed within his grasp, but he caught no more than +a second's glimpse of the beautiful face before it was hid against +his shoulder. + +At the same instant a low voice whispered in his ear: + +"Don't move until I speak to you." + +Overwhelmed with wonder, he felt the hands which he had grasped now +holding fast his own, that she might compel him to the stillness +which she had commanded. Then the soft voice at his ear went on: + +"You were right in saying that I did not love you--that you would +have urged me into a marriage to which I could not have brought the +true feeling. I did not know it then, but I know it now. And I know +it now because--because--" her voice trembled and her breath came +quick--"because now I do love you. Oh, Horace, better love than this +man could not have or woman give." + +She ended in a burst of tears, and her exhausted body leaned against +him for support. + +For a moment he felt an amazement so overwhelming that he seemed half +unconscious from the whirling in his brain. Then, as a lightning +flash lights up the whole dark heaven in an instant's time, the truth +was revealed to him, and, with that consciousness, his arms were +tight about her and his kisses on her lips. + +If he questioned her at all, it was with his spirit, and her answer +came in that ineffable sense of union which fused their souls in one. +For long still moments they rested so, in that embrace, and when they +moved apart and looked into each other's eyes it was to take up +forever that united life which was to bind them in true marriage. + + * * * * * + +When Nora returned from church she found them sitting quietly before +the fire, the lamp burning brightly under the kettle, from which the +Lady Hurdly that was and was to be had just made tea for her lord. + + THE END + + + + + BY MARY E. WILKINS + + + SILENCE, and Other Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 25. + + JEROME, A POOR MAN. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 50. + + MADELON. 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Y. + + No better or more satisfactory life of General Custer could have been + written.... We know of no biographical work anywhere which we count + better than this.--_N. Y. Commercial Advertiser._ + + TENTING ON THE PLAINS; or, General Custer in Kansas and Texas. + Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1 50. + + Mrs. Custer was a keen observer.... The narrative abounds in vivid + description, in exciting incident, and gives us a realistic picture + of adventurous frontier life. 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Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not +more interested in her than she was in the interpretation of their +glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that +she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, +who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was +her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her +life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, +therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been +rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span>would or +would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were.</p> + +<p>Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect +elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was +vigilantly regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at +times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of +comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They +not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but +they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher +standard, she had won a higher tribute.</p> + +<p>Yet, ardent as this admiration was on the one side, and grateful as +it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would +have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which +no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she +was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to +her once had been so politely repelled that they had not spoken +again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on +coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively.</p> + +<p>There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye +and the imagination in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span>this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, +perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and +expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, +dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning +dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time +there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made +her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in +which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the +brilliancy of a jewel.</p> + +<p>And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the +dual nature which was Bettina’s. Her mother, who had studied her with +a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two +key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor +of Bettina’s heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little +old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was +from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of +sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other +strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of +what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a +sort of desperation, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span>looked about her to see what was yet left +to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. +With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could +never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she +must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in +the world.</p> + +<p>This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had +been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank +and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect.</p> + +<p>In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the +papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her +beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had +fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had +many a pang of fear for the future of her child.</p> + +<p>When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her +heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the +dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the +possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if +she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite +opportunity in the person of one whom her mother <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>entirely trusted +and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was +little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position, +but it had come about quite simply.</p> + +<p>The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her +daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev. Arthur +Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was +cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but +natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it +was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought +her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and +as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of +course that he should fall in love with her.</p> + +<p>So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and +talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account +of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply:</p> + +<p>“He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a +short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat +at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a +London mansion, several <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span>country places, and one of the greatest +positions in English society.”</p> + +<p>“My child, my poor child!” said the mother, in a tone of distress, +“what is to be the end of your inordinate ambition for the things of +the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them +some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! +Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do +that but love.”</p> + +<p>“But, you see, I propose to have love too,” was the gay response. “I +assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as +this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms deep in love with me +already. He is manly, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether +charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, +mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; +but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of +Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>“Bettina,” said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her +daughter’s shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, “you will have to +come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at +last—the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight +and inadequate, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span>and not worthy to be compared with the love which +you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call +forth your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and +I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman’s best heritage. +Don’t marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the +great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows +I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; +but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved +your father more.”</p> + +<p>These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined to come back +to Bettina afterward, though at the time she resented the very +suggestion of what they predicted.</p> + +<p>Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had +become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had +followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a +proposal of marriage.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an +inveterate enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of +kin and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, +and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very +agreeable <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>to be constantly reminded that another man would some day +stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured for Horace a diplomatic +position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was +delightful, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made +him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to +indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, +intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that +moment gave up every other thought but the dominant one of winning +her for his wife.</p> + +<p>Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, +but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly’s answer to his letter +announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings on +this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of +Bettina’s beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady +Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that +his cousin would disapprove. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to +grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up +to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future.</p> + +<p>It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly’s letter, when it came, was a +cold, curt, and most decided <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span>refusal to consent to the marriage. He +objected chiefly on the score of Bettina’s being an American, though +he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to +think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do +better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as +he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very +day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his +senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end.</p> + +<p>Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but +she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a +keen desire to triumph over this obdurate opposition, and when Horace +asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his +altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than +she had hitherto shown.</p> + +<p>The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her +mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her +mother’s failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could +not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs of jealousy, of which +he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother +in itself a proof of her great <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>capacity of loving, and must he not, +with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? +Still, he chafed under the fact that every day her mother became more +and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now +more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact +by saying that the invalid was more suffering and in need of her, and +she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be +all-sufficing.</p> + +<p>At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing—a +summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have +attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the +prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn, he dared not +do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on +what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter +frankly before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would +relent, and spoke so indifferently about their lack of money that he +loved her all the more for it.</p> + +<p>He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina +to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to +propose this he found that the mere suggestion of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>her leaving her +mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her +mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be +braced up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change +would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and +some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would +go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they +could be married.</p> + +<p>With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying +experience for him to have to consider the question of money so +closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly’s heir-at-law, and he could not be +disinherited, so far as the title and entailed estates were +concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to +deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well +enough to understand that he was tenacious of any position once +taken.</p> + +<p>So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently +willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her +sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and +depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what +was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother’s health.</p> + +<p>Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so +vividly that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such +heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration that he could but feel +confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her +letters did come, they were so short, scant, and preoccupied that +they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the +passionately loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while +he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient ones, his pride +became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the +extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his +heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came +to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters +to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his +hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to +speak only of her mother’s health and her grief about it, the young +fellow’s love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, +so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her +attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>vehement love +for her in which he got no response.</p> + +<p>At last, after a longer interval than usual, he got a letter from +Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead—had, indeed, been +dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to +write to him.</p> + +<p>In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution +that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which +she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had +found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe +at once. She fixed the 23d of June as the day on which she had +decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked from New +York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan +which required that she should have one week in London quite free of +Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise +to marry him.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina was in London. The ocean voyage had done her good, and the +necessary effect of change, variety, new faces, new feelings, new +thoughts, had been to take her out of herself—the self that was +nothing but a grieving and bereaved daughter—and to quicken the +pleasure-loving instincts and thirst for admiration which were as +inherently, though not as prominently, a part of her. There was still +a root of bitterness springing up within her whenever she thought of +her mother’s being taken from her, and this very element it was which +urged her to make all she could of life, in the hope of partially +filling the void in her heart. She was not even yet reconciled to the +loss of her mother, and there was a certain defiance of destiny in +her resolution to get some compensation for the wrong she had +sustained in losing what was dearest to her.</p> + +<p>On arriving in London, Bettina went to a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>hotel, and from there made +inquiries as to the whereabouts of Lord Hurdly. Parliament was in +session, and his lordship was in his town house in Grosvenor Square. +Having ascertained the hour at which he was most likely to be at +home, Bettina betook herself at that hour to his house.</p> + +<p>She refused to give her name to the servant who answered her ring, +and asked merely that Lord Hurdly might be told that a lady wished to +speak to him on a matter of importance. The servant, after a moment’s +hesitation, ushered her into a small reception-room on the first +floor, and requested her to wait there.</p> + +<p>She stood for a few moments alone in this room, her heart beating +fast. She wore the American style of deep mourning, which swathed her +in dense, impenetrable black from head to feet, and seemed to add to +her somewhat unusual tallness.</p> + +<p>The door opened. Lord Hurdly entered. She had seen photographs of +him, and even through that thick veil would have known him anywhere. +The tall, thin figure, sharp eyes, aquiline nose, clean-shaven face, +and scrupulous dress were all familiar to both memory and +imagination.</p> + +<p>He paused on the threshold of the room, as if slightly repelled by +the strange appearance of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>the shrouded figure before him. Then he +spoke, coldly and concisely.</p> + +<p>“You wished to speak to me?” he said. “I have a few moments only at +my disposal.”</p> + +<p>Bettina raised one hand and threw back her veil, revealing thus not +only her face, but her whole figure clothed in smooth, tight-fitting +black, so plain and devoid of trimming that the exquisite lines were +shown to the best advantage. Her face, surrounded by black draperies, +looked as purely tinted as a flower, and the excitement of the moment +had made her eyes brilliant and flushed her cheeks.</p> + +<p>The imperturbability of Lord Hurdly’s face relaxed. His lips parted; +a smothered sound, as of surprise, escaped him. Certainly at that +moment Bettina was nothing less than bewilderingly beautiful.</p> + +<p>“I have to beg your pardon for coming to you so unceremoniously,” she +said. “My excuse is that I have a matter of great importance to speak +to you of.”</p> + +<p>Her voice was certainly a charming one, and if her accent was such as +he might have found fault with under other circumstances, under these +he found it an added attraction. She had put her own construction on +Lord Hurdly’s evident surprise <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span>at sight of her, and it was one which +gave her an increased self-possession and added to her sense of +power.</p> + +<p>“Let us go into another room,” said Lord Hurdly. “I cannot keep you +here, and whatever you may have to say to me I am quite at leisure to +attend to.”</p> + +<p>He led the way from the room, and Bettina followed in silence. She +had had innumerable dreams of grandeur, poor child! but she had been +too ignorant even to imagine such a place as this house. Its +furnishing and decorations represented not only the accumulated +wealth, but also the accumulated taste and opportunity, of many +successive generations. She felt an ineffable emotion of deep, +sensuous enjoyment in her present surroundings which made her heart +leap at the idea that all these things might some day be hers. Lord +Hurdly looked exceedingly well preserved, and that day might be very +far distant. All the more reason, therefore, she told herself, why +she should make peace between him and Horace, so that she might at +least be sometimes a guest in this house, and be lifted into an +atmosphere where she felt for the first time that she was in her true +element. It was not only the magnificence which she saw on every side +which <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span>so appealed to her. It was that air of the best in everything +that made her feel, in Lord Hurdly’s presence, as well as in his +house, that civilization could not go further—that life, on its +material side, had nothing more to offer. And Bettina had now reached +a point in her experience where material pleasure seemed to be all +that was left. She quite believed that all of the joy of loving was +buried in the grave of her mother.</p> + +<p>Her heart was beating fast as she entered Lord Hurdly’s library and +saw him close the door behind them. It then struck her as being a +little peculiar that he should have brought her here without even +knowing who she was or what she wanted of him.</p> + +<p>A doubt, a scarcely possible suspicion, came into her mind.</p> + +<p>“Have you any idea who I am?” she said.</p> + +<p>“It suffices me to know what you are.”</p> + +<p>“Ah! I do not understand,” she said, puzzled.</p> + +<p>“You have come upon me without ceremony, madam,” said Lord Hurdly, +with a slightly old-fashioned pomposity in his polished manner, “and +I may therefore ask you to excuse an absence of ceremony in me in +alluding to the impression which you have made upon me. You are a +stranger to me—an American, I judge from <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>your speech. I hope that I +am to be so fortunate as to hear that there is something which I can +do for you.”</p> + +<p>“There is,” Bettina said—“a thing so vital and important to me that, +now I am in your presence, I am afraid to venture to speak, for fear +you may refuse to hear my prayer.”</p> + +<p>“You are in small danger from that quarter, I assure you. I am ready +to do for you whatever you may ask. Let me, however, put a few +questions before I hear your request. You are wearing mourning. Is +it, perhaps, for your husband?”</p> + +<p>“For my mother,” said Bettina, with a sudden trembling of the lip and +suffusion of the eyes which gave her a new charm, in revealing the +fact that this young goddess had a human heart which could be quickly +stirred to emotion.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” said Lord Hurdly, with great courtesy. “Forget that I +have roughly touched a spot so sore, and tell me this, if you will: +are you married or unmarried?”</p> + +<p>“I am unmarried,” said Bettina, beginning to tremble as she found the +important moment upon her; “but I am about to be married. I have made +this visit to London beforehand only <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>to see you. The man I am going +to marry is your cousin and heir, Horace Spotswood.”</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly’s guarded face betrayed a certain agitation, but the +signs of this were quickly controlled.</p> + +<p>He looked straight into her eyes for a few seconds without speaking. +Then he crossed the room and touched an electric button, saying, as +he did so:</p> + +<p>“I will get rid of an engagement that I had, so that I may be quite +at leisure to talk with you.”</p> + +<p>Neither spoke again until the servant had come, taken his +instructions, and gone away, closing the door behind him. There was a +certain determination in Lord Hurdly’s manner and expression which +did not escape Bettina. She was sure that her revelation of her +identity had prompted some decisive course of action in his mind, but +what it was she could not guess from that inscrutable face.</p> + +<p>“I am now quite free for the morning,” her companion said. “Naturally +there is much for us to say to each other. Will you not lay aside +your bonnet and wrap? The day is warm, and that heavy mourning must +distress you.”</p> + +<p>Certainly his manner was kind. Bettina began <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span>to like him and to hope +for success in her object in coming here. Quickly unbuttoning her +black gloves, she unsheathed her lovely hands, which were bare of +rings. Then with a few deft motions she removed her outer wrap and +her bonnet with its long, thick veil.</p> + +<p>In so doing she revealed the fact that she had an exquisite head, +with delicious masses of brown hair which looked almost reddish in +its contrast to the dense black of her gown, the smooth severity of +which accentuated every lovely curve of her figure, as it would have +done every defect, had there been defect. This gown was fitted to her +so absolutely that one had the satisfying sense that one looked at +the woman instead of at her clothes. There were fine old portraits on +the wall, of noble ladies who had once done the honors of this great +establishment, but the fairest of them paled before the glowing +loveliness of this girl. For she looked a girl, despite her sombre +garments, and there was a certain timidity in her manner which +strengthened this impression.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly offered her a seat, and then took another, facing her.</p> + +<p>“In engaging yourself to marry Horace Spotswood,” he began, +deliberately, “you have made <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>the supreme, if not the irreparable, +mistake of your life.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s white skin showed the sudden ebb of the blood in her veins +as he said these words.</p> + +<p>“Why?” she asked, concisely.</p> + +<p>“Because he is no match for you, and because your marrying him would +not only place you on a lower plane than where you belong, but it +would also so seriously injure his position in life that there would +be no possible chance for him to retrieve it until my death. I am +comparatively a young man, and likely to live a long time. Apart from +that, I may marry. I had no expectation or intention of doing so, but +his recent defiance of me has made me sometimes feel inclined to the +idea. I have so far changed in my feeling on this subject that if I +could meet and win a woman to my mind, I would marry at once. What +then would become of Horace? He has a mere pittance besides his pay, +which is a ridiculous sum for a man to marry on. He has wronged you +in putting you in such a position, and you have equally wronged him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina had turned very white as he spoke. The picture he drew was +bad enough in itself, but to have it sketched before her in her +present surroundings made it infinitely worse.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p><p>“If we have wronged each other, we have done it ignorantly,” she +said. “He assured me that you were determined never to marry, and he +counted on your past kindness and your attachment to him—”</p> + +<p>She broke off, her voice shaken.</p> + +<p>“On the same ground I counted on him,” said Lord Hurdly. “He was in +no position to marry against my will, and in engaging to do so he +defied me. Let him take the consequences.”</p> + +<p>“Then you are determined not to relent?” Bettina faltered. “You will +not forgive him for the offence of proposing to make me his wife?”</p> + +<p>“I did not say that,” returned Lord Hurdly, with a subtle change of +tone. “I certainly should not forgive him for marrying you, but for +proposing to do so I am ready enough to forgive him, provided he +comes to his senses at that point and goes no further. In that event +I am ready not only to continue the handsome income that I have +allowed him, but to give him outright the principal of it.”</p> + +<p>Bettina had never pretended that she was deeply in love with Horace +Spotswood. Indeed, she had quite decided within herself that she was +incapable of such a state of feeling, and it was her belief that the +fervor and intensity of love <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>which she had given to her mother had +taken the place of what some women give to their husbands. Still, she +looked upon her prospective marriage to him as one of the fixed facts +of the universe, and Lord Hurdly’s words bewildered her.</p> + +<p>Keener than this surprise, however, was her sense of humiliation at +the implacable offence which Lord Hurdly had taken at his heir’s +proposed marriage with herself. That he had wished Horace to marry +she knew; it was therefore the woman whom he had chosen that Lord +Hurdly resented.</p> + +<p>She rose to her feet, feeling herself giddy, and knowing that she was +white with agitation. Her one idea was to get away—to escape the +scrutiny of the intense gaze which was fixed upon her.</p> + +<p>“I must go. I beg your pardon for coming,” she said, with a proud +coldness, reaching for her wrap.</p> + +<p>“You must not go. I owe you endless thanks for coming, and I will +show you that you have to congratulate yourself also on this +interview. If you went now, you would defeat all the good that may +come of it. Sit down, I beg of you, and hear me out.”</p> + +<p>His manner was not only urgent, it was also <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>kind, and nothing could +have been more respectful than his every look and tone.</p> + +<p>Bettina sat down again and waited.</p> + +<p>“What is it that has shocked you?” he said. “Is it because of your +great love for Horace—or is it his for you which you are thinking of +most?”</p> + +<p>“I do not see that I am bound to answer you that question,” said +Bettina, proudly. “My reasons are sufficient for myself.”</p> + +<p>“You are in no way bound, my dear young lady, but you would be wise +to answer me. I have every disposition to act as your friend in this +matter, and you would be making a mistake to turn away from me +without hearing what I have to say. If you are imagining that the +young fellow with whom you have an engagement of marriage would be +rendered inconsolable by the loss of you, when it would be made up to +him by the possession of a fortune, perhaps you overestimate things.”</p> + +<p>“What things?” she said, still cold and withheld in her manner, her +pale face very set.</p> + +<p>“The unselfishness of man’s love in general, and of this man’s in +particular,” he said; “and, for another thing, yourself. It seems a +brutal thing to say, but if you believe that that hotheaded, +undisciplined boy is capable of a sustained <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>affection against such +odds of fortune as this case presents, then I disagree with you, and +I know him better than you do.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s face flushed.</p> + +<p>“He does love me—he does!” she cried, in some agitation. “I have +been cold and careless toward him, and have told him that my heart +was buried in my mother’s grave.” At these words her voice trembled. +“He knows how hard it is for me to think of another kind of love just +yet; but he has been kindness itself, and has written me the dearest, +lovingest letters that ever a woman had. If they have been a little +rarer and colder lately, it is only because of my own shortcomings +toward him. I shall try to atone for them now. Since I realize how +great an injury I have done to him, I shall try to be his +compensation for it.”</p> + +<p>“And you think you will succeed? I doubt it.”</p> + +<p>Something in his manner impressed her in spite of herself. Perhaps he +saw that it was so, for he pushed his advantage.</p> + +<p>“Compare the length and opportunities of my intercourse with him and +yours,” he said. “You would be acting the part of absolute folly not +to listen to me now. In the end you will be as free <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span>to act as you +were in the beginning. Only let me remind you that his future is +involved as well as your own.”</p> + +<p>He saw that this argument told.</p> + +<p>“I am willing to listen,” she said.</p> + +<p>“I am grateful to you,” he answered, with that air of finished +politeness which makes the best graces of a young man seem crude, and +which Bettina was not too ignorant to appreciate at its proper value.</p> + +<p>“I have known Horace as child and boy and man—if he may yet be +called a man,” he said, with a light touch of scorn. “You have known +him in one capacity and state only—that of a lover, a <i>rôle</i> he can +no doubt play very prettily, and one in which, despite his youth, he +is far from being unpractised. He has been in love oftener than it +behooves me to say or you to hear—quite harmless affairs, of course, +but they prove to one who has watched him as I have that his nature +is fickle and capricious. I confess that when I heard you say, just +now, that his letters of late had been rarer and less ardent, I could +not wholly attribute it to the reason which so quickly satisfied you. +As a rule, these intensely ardent feelings are not of long duration, +and I know well both the intensity and the brevity of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>Horace’s +attacks of love. It was for this very reason that I so resented the +idea of his marrying without my advice. I foresaw that he would soon +weary of any woman. All the more reason, therefore, for his choosing +one who was suited to him, apart from the matter of his loving her. I +knew he had not the staying quality—that he was quite incapable of a +sustained affection. I therefore considered his taste in the matter +less than my own. As he was my heir in the event of my not marrying, +I felt that I had the right to demand that he should marry suitably +to his position.”</p> + +<p>“I regret that he should have made an engagement which has +disappointed you,” said Bettina, a slight curl at the corners of her +lips.</p> + +<p>“I regret it also; but you may remember that at the beginning of this +interview I spoke of this mistake on your part and on his as great, +though not perhaps irreparable.”</p> + +<p>He was looking at her keenly, and he saw that his words had no effect +upon her except to mystify her.</p> + +<p>“I do not see any way to its reparation,” she said, and was about to +continue, when he interrupted her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p><p>“I have pointed out the way—a rupture of the engagement by mutual +consent.”</p> + +<p>“A consent that he would never give,” said Bettina, with a certain +pride of confidence.</p> + +<p>“And you?” he asked.</p> + +<p>“Nor I either,” she said, “unless I were convinced that he wished +it.”</p> + +<p>“It would perhaps be not impossible to convince you of that, granted +a little time,” said Lord Hurdly. “But, apart from his wish, have you +no consideration for his interest? His position in diplomacy is at +present insignificant, but he has talents and a chance to rise, +unless that chance be utterly frustrated by his embarrassing himself +with a family—a condition that would be death to his career. Ask any +one you choose, and they will tell you that there cannot be two +opinions about this. Besides, through my help he has been able to +live like a man of fortune. His allowance, however, will be stopped +on the day of his marriage, if he persists in such a course. If he +abandons it, he will find himself with the principal as well as the +interest at his disposal. So situated, he has every chance to rise. +Under the other conditions, he inevitably falls. What would become of +him ultimately is too dreary a line of conjecture to dwell upon.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p><p>Bettina’s face was paler still. The tears sprang to her eyes—tears +of mortification and keen regret. The thought of her mother pierced +through her, and the consciousness that she had no longer the refuge +of that gentle heart to cast herself upon almost overcame her. Pride +lent her aid, however, and she rallied quickly.</p> + +<p>“You have fully demonstrated to me,” she said, “that I have injured +your cousin in promising to marry him. I did it in ignorance, +however. With the facts before me which you have just given, I should +perhaps have acted differently. Regret now, however, is useless.”</p> + +<p>“On the contrary, this is one of the rare cases in which regret is +not useless. The reparation of your mistake is in your own hands.”</p> + +<p>The possibility of doing what he urged flashed through Bettina’s +mind. Horace would certainly be infinitely better off without her, in +every rational and material sense; and at this stage of Bettina’s +development the rational and material were predominant. But what of +her, apart from Horace? This thought found vent in words.</p> + +<p>“You have been looking at this subject from your own point of view,” +she said, “and perhaps naturally. I must, however, think of an aspect +of the case in which you have no interest. I am <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>absolutely alone in +the world, and if, for your cousin’s sake, I made this sacrifice—”</p> + +<p>In spite of herself her voice faltered.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly drew his chair a little nearer to her. His eyes were +fixed upon her with a yet more intent gaze as he said, with +directness and decision:</p> + +<p>“You are quite mistaken. It is this aspect of the case which concerns +me chiefly. If, as is undoubtedly true, the prevention of this most +mistaken marriage would be an advantage to Horace, to you it may be a +far greater gain, and to me it may be the fulfilment of all that I +have ever desired in life.”</p> + +<p>“What do you mean?” she said, bewildered.</p> + +<p>“I mean that the supreme desire of my heart is, and has been from the +moment my eyes rested on you, to make you Lady Hurdly absolutely and +at once, instead of your waiting for a name and position which, after +all, may never come to you.”</p> + +<p>Her heart beat so that her breathing came in smothered gasps. The +piercing demand of his eyes was almost terrifying to her. She saw +that he was absolutely in earnest, and the commiseration which she +felt for Horace struggled with the dazzling temptation which this +opportunity <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span>offered to that strong ambition which was so great an +element in her essential nature.</p> + +<p>“Do not be shocked or startled by the suddenness of my proposal,” he +said. “I trust that you will come to see that it is eminently wise +and reasonable. When I said the marriage was an unsuitable one, I was +thinking more of you than of Horace. Your beauty, your manner, your +voice, your words, your whole ego and personality, show you to have +been born for a great position. It is a case of manifest destiny. The +fortune and the social rank that I can bestow are all too little for +you; I should like to be able to put a queen’s crown on your +beautiful head. But such as I am—a man who has made his impression +on the current history of his country, and who, though no longer +young in the crude sense that counts only by months and years, is +still by no means old—and such things as I have and can command, I +lay at your feet, begging you humbly to impart to them a value which +they have never had before, by accepting them and becoming the sharer +of my name, my position, and my fortune, and the mistress of my +heart.”</p> + +<p>He had risen and was standing in front of her with the resolution of +a strong purpose in his eyes. But she could not meet them, those +dominating, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span>searching eyes. The thoughts that his words had given +rise to were too agitating, too uncertain, too tormenting to her. The +thought of giving Horace up pained her more than she would have +believed, while the vision of the grandeur so urged upon her, which +not ten minutes gone she had seen dashed like a full beaker from her +thirsty lips, tormented her as well. It was to her a vast sacrifice +to think of resigning such possibilities, yet at the first she had no +other thought but to resign them. The arguments for Horace’s future +career which had been urged upon her also played their part in her +consciousness now, and the seething confusion of images in her brain +made her senses swim.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly must have seen her agitation, for he hastened to say:</p> + +<p>“I have been too hasty. You must forgive me. Do not try to answer me +at present. I see that you are overwrought. Let me beseech you to +rest a little while. I will send for the housekeeper.”</p> + +<p>“No, no! I must go,” she answered, starting to her feet. But she had +overestimated her strength. She sank back in her chair.</p> + +<p>He went himself and brought her a glass of wine, talking to her with +a soothing reassurance <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span>as she drank it. He reproached himself for +having been too hurried, too rash, but pleaded the earnestness of his +hopes as an excuse. When she had taken the wine she wanted to go, but +he entreated her so humbly not to punish him too deeply for his fault +that when he begged her to let him call the housekeeper to sit with +her until luncheon, which he implored her to take before leaving, she +acquiesced, too fagged out mentally to take any decided position of +her own.</p> + +<p>To the housekeeper Lord Hurdly explained that this lady was in deep +trouble—a fact sufficiently attested by her heavy mourning—and +would like to rest awhile before eating some luncheon. Bettina saw +herself regarded with a respectful awe which she had never had a +taste of before. The housekeeper, with the sweetest of voices and +kindest of manners, promised to do all in her power, and Lord Hurdly +withdrew.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo2" id="Illo2"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 403px;"> +<img src="images/i039.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="403" height="400" alt="“SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR”</span> +</div> + +<p>Bettina could not talk. She lay back on the lounge and submitted to +be gently fanned and having salts occasionally held to her nose. But +all her effort was to compose her thoughts—a difficult attempt, as +the image of her mother was the one which insisted on taking the +pre-eminence in her mind. She ordered it down, with a sort of +bitterness. Had her mother been alive,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>she would have gladly fled from this puzzle into which her life had +tangled itself, and gone back to America to rest and mother-love. So +she told herself, at least. But then followed the reflection that in +her mother’s death the refuge of love’s calm and protection was gone +from her forever, and that she must either remain in Europe under one +or the other of the two conditions offered her, or else resign +herself to the apathy of despair.</p> + +<p>It was not in her to do this, and the brilliant possibilities which +Lord Hurdly had suggested flashed into her mind, and so excited her +that she suddenly rose to her feet and announced that her slight +indisposition was past, asking the housekeeper to take her somewhere +to rearrange her hair and prepare herself for luncheon.</p> + +<p>Even had Bettina been the possessor of a happy heart which rejoiced +in a fulfilled and contented love for the man she had promised to +marry, the other, dominating side of her nature could not have been +quite stifled as she walked through the halls and corridors of this +magnificent mansion. These were things her imagination had always +pictured as her proper position in life, and which the unregenerate +heart within her had always craved. But how far beyond her ignorant +dreams <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>was the grand repose of this beautiful house! It was so much +more than she had conceived that the new supply to her senses seemed, +in a way, to create a new demand in them.</p> + +<p>Never, perhaps, had she so appreciated what it must be to be a +<i>grande dame</i> as to-day, when she was on the point of refusing such +an opportunity, though it was just within her grasp. For she had no +idea but that she should refuse it, and this very consciousness made +her more friendly in her feelings and actions toward Lord Hurdly than +she would otherwise have been.</p> + +<p>When she had adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair, before large +mirrors which gave her a better view of her loveliness than she had +ever had before, a servant summoned her to luncheon, and at the foot +of the stairs she saw Lord Hurdly awaiting her.</p> + +<p>So seen, a decided baldness, which she had not much noticed before, +became evident, but there was a certain distinction in the man’s +general air which this rather seemed to heighten. His manner of +delicate solicitude for her was the perfection of good-breeding, and +when she answered him reassuringly, and walked by his side to the +dining-room, a sudden conviction seized her that she had come into +her own—that this was the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>position for which she had been born, and +that, independent of the fact that she had determined to decline it, +it was her fate, which she could not escape. She tried to coax the +belief that it was as Horace’s wife that she would one day enjoy all +these delights, but the thought eluded her. She could not see Horace +in the seat now filled by his cousin. In imagination as well as in +reality it was Lord Hurdly who occupied that seat.</p> + +<p>This conviction, which every moment deepened, she could not shake off +and could not account for. She had a feeling that it was forced upon +her consciousness through some dominating power of Lord Hurdly’s +spirit over her own. She felt as if she were hypnotized. She wondered +if it could be so, and if she would presently come to herself and +find that it was all a delusion and she had never seen Lord Hurdly or +his house, but was on her way to St. Petersburg to join Horace and +settle down to a limited and economical way of living.</p> + +<p>At this thought her heart fell. She had laid her hand upon this +dazzling prize of worldly wealth and position. Could she let it go?</p> + +<p>During luncheon no reference was made to the subject of their late +conversation. The servants remained in the room, and Lord Hurdly +talked <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span>of public and quite impersonal affairs. In so doing he showed +a trenchant insight, a broad knowledge of the world, an undeniably +powerful mentality, and a decided skill in the art of pleasing. If +the tone of his talk was cynical, it found, for that very reason, all +the clearer echo in Bettina’s heart. A certain tendency to cynicism +was inborn in her, and the bitterness she felt at the loss of her +mother had accentuated this. What was the use of loving, she asked +herself, when love must end like this? In her heart she passionately +hoped that she might never love again. And she had also a shrinking +from being loved in any ardent manner that might make demands upon +her which she could not respond to.</p> + +<p>When the time came for Bettina to leave, she found that the cab in +which she had come had been sent away, and, in its place, Lord +Hurdly’s brougham waited for her. He escorted her himself to the +carriage door, and when the great footman who held it open touched +his hat in silence as he took her orders, and then mounted beside his +twin brother on the box and she was bowled away, on padded cushions +from which emanated a delicious odor of fine leather, Bettina felt +that, for the first time in her life, she was in her proper element.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p><p>The events of the morning seemed to her like some agitating dream. +She wondered how long it had been since she left her hotel, and tried +to guess what time it was. As she did so, her eyes fell on the small +clock, neatly encased in the leather upholstering of the carriage +just in front of her. The fitness of this object and of everything +about her gave her a delicious sense of adaptation to her environment +which she had never had before.</p> + +<p>When she got out at her hotel, the footman, with the same salute of +ineffable respect, said that his lordship had told him to ask if she +had any further orders for the carriage to-day or to-morrow. She +declined the offer, but, none the less, she felt flattered by the +attention.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly’s only further reference to their last conversation had +been to ask her to pay his words the respect of a few days’ +consideration at least. He had learned from her that Horace was +unaware of her being in England, and that she had a whole week at her +disposal before he would expect to meet her there. When he asked for +a part of that week, in which to give him the opportunity to prove to +her that her duty to Horace, as well as to herself, demanded the +rupture of this mistaken engagement, she was sufficiently influenced +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>by the subtlety of this appeal to grant his request.</p> + +<p>To her surprise, several days went by, and he did not come to see her +nor write. Every morning the carriage was sent to the hotel and the +footman came to her door for orders, but she always answered that she +did not require it. Every morning, also, came a lavish offering of +flowers, the great exotic flowers which Bettina loved—huge, +heavy-petalled roses and green translucent-looking orchids. But, +except for these, he did not thrust himself upon her notice—a fact +which during the first and second days she gave him the greatest +credit for, but by the third had grown to feel a certain resentment +at.</p> + +<p>In the mean time there had followed her from home a letter from +Horace. It was the coldest she had ever had from him, and set her to +thinking deeply as to the possible cause of his coldness. Could it +be, she asked herself, that Lord Hurdly was right in calling him +capricious? Had he—as was possible, of course—cooled in his ardor +for her, and come to see that this hasty engagement of his had been a +great mistake, as she herself had come to see?</p> + +<p>For this point, at least, Bettina had positively reached. Why, +therefore, should she adhere to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>her engagement in the face of the +knowledge that such an adherence would be to his disadvantage, no +less than to hers?</p> + +<p>These arguments would have quite prevailed with her but for one +thing. This was the conviction, not yet changed, though somewhat +shaken by Lord Hurdly’s account of him, that Horace really loved her +and would suffer in losing her.</p> + +<p>Deprived of the restraint of her mother’s influence, Bettina had +progressed with rapidity in her way toward worldliness and selfish +ambition, but she had a heart. Her love for her mother had given +abundant proof of that, if there were nothing else; and now her heart +combated the influence of her head, which decreed that only a fool +would reject the great good fortune now held out to her.</p> + +<p>In point of fact, Bettina had been influenced more by ambition than +by love in engaging herself to Horace, and the gratification of a far +more splendid ambition was offered to her in making this other +marriage. In it, also, love would play but little part, and this she +felt to be decidedly a gain. Yet she was not so far lost to the +sentiments of kindness and loyalty, that she had learned from the +teaching and example of her mother, as <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span>not to hesitate before +wounding and humiliating the man who, as she still believed, loved +her devotedly. Could it have been proved that she was mistaken in so +believing, Lord Hurdly’s case would have been already won.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>n the end Lord Hurdly prevailed, and that end was swifter in coming +than Bettina would have believed to be possible. She had allowed +herself a week to wait in London, and for the first day or two of +that week she lived in dread lest Lord Hurdly should come to her and +renew the arguments which she was quite determined to combat. As the +days passed and he did not come, she began to fear that the +opportunity of final decision on the momentous question of her choice +between these two men would not again be offered her. Her better +nature still held her to her pledge to Horace, but already she had +come to feel that, but for his disappointment at losing her, she +would have accepted Lord Hurdly’s proposal, as it offered a full and +immediate fulfilment of her dreams of ambition, and the other +postponed these indefinitely, while it promised comparatively little +in any other direction.</p> + +<p>Toward the end of the week Lord Hurdly called, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>and, without any +reference to his own hopes and intentions, spoke, with what seemed to +be a considerable hesitation and regret, of his young cousin’s +character and mode of life, which he declared were known, to every +one except Bettina, to be exceedingly capricious—even light. He +dwelt upon the fact, well known to Bettina, of his earnest desire +that his cousin and heir should marry, and gave as a reason for this +desire, what he declared to be the accepted fact, that Horace was +inclined to a dissipated manner of living, which he hoped marriage +might correct.</p> + +<p>Poor Bettina! She had believed the young man, to whom she had pledged +herself, to be the very opposite of all this. Yet how absolutely +ignorant concerning him she really was! And the rector of her church, +who was supposed to vouch for him, knew in reality as little as she. +How easily she might have been mistaken in him! And yet, and yet, +there was a still, small voice in her heart which confirmed her in +her resolve to believe in him until she had proof that such a belief +was ill founded.</p> + +<p>“With his past I have nothing to do,” she said to Lord Hurdly, with a +certain show of pride. “If it has been lower than my ideal of him, I +regret it; but I am entirely sure that since he has <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span>known me and had +my promise to be his wife he has been true to all that that promise +required of him.”</p> + +<p>“This being your conclusion,” Lord Hurdly answered, “you force upon +me the necessity of showing you a letter which I have to-day received +from a friend in St. Petersburg, and which I would, without strong +reason to the contrary, have gladly spared you the pain of reading.” +With these words, he handed Bettina a letter.</p> + +<p>It was signed with a name unknown to her, but written evidently in +the tone and manner of an intimate friend. The first page or two +referred to matters wholly indifferent to her—public affairs and the +like—but toward the end were these words:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>“Are you as set as ever in your determination not to marry? Pity it +is that such a noble name and fortune as yours should not pass on to +a son of your own, instead of to one who, it is to be feared, will do +little to honor it. I see him here, at court and everywhere, +accurately fulfilling the rather unflattering predictions which I +long ago made concerning him. There is a story that he became engaged +to be married during his travels in America, and I hear that he owns +up to it and speaks of being joined by his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span><i>fiancée</i> and married on +this side. I hope it may not be so. Certainly his present manner of +living argues against the rumor, unless—a supposition I am reluctant +to believe—he proposes to keep up, as a married man, the habits +which are so readily forgiven to a bachelor, though not to a +husband.”</p></div> + +<p>There was more, but Bettina read no further. This was enough. She had +turned away to a window, that she might read this letter unobserved +by Lord Hurdly, who had considerately walked to the other end of the +room.</p> + +<p>When at last she approached him and gave him back the letter, she was +very pale, but her manner was wholly without indecision and her voice +was resolute as she said:</p> + +<p>“I thank you, Lord Hurdly, for the service which you have rendered +me. This letter has made my future course quite clear. I shall write +to your cousin to-day that everything is at an end between us. And +now will you be good enough to leave me? I wish to make my +arrangements to return to America at once.”</p> + +<p>Even as she said the words, the bitter barrenness of this +prospect—the old dull life, without the dear presence which had been +its one and sufficient palliation—rose before her mind and appalled +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span>her. Perhaps Lord Hurdly saw in her face some change of expression +which he construed as favorable to himself, for he hastened to say:</p> + +<p>“Will you not, before taking so rash a step, consider the proposal +which I have made to you? I can offer you the substance of which the +other was only the shadow, and I can pledge to you the stable and +unalterable devotion of a man who has lived long enough to know his +own mind, and who declares to you that you are the only woman whom he +has ever desired to put in the position of his wife.”</p> + +<p>It was impossible not to feel some consciousness of satisfaction at a +tribute which her own knowledge of facts convinced her to be sincere, +but Bettina’s heart and mind were still too preoccupied to meet him +in the way he wished. She repeated her request that he would leave +her, and so earnest and distressed was her manner that he complied, +leaving behind him an impression of the deepest solicitude for her, +and the most earnest desire on his part to atone for the wrong which +his kinsman had done her.</p> + +<p>Bettina threw herself upon the lounge and abandoned herself to a fit +of weeping—so overwhelming, so despairing, so heart-breaking that +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span>she could scarcely believe that she, who had thought that all her +power of deep suffering had been exhausted, could still find it in +her to care so much for any other grief.</p> + +<p>The worst of it was that, now it was quite evident that she was +forever divided from Horace, the charm of his manner and appearance, +the tenderness of his love-making, came back to her with a power +which they had never exercised upon her in reality. Never, surely, +had a man existed who was, to appearance at least, more frank, +sincere, ardent, and deeply in love than he had seemed to be with +her. It made his perfidy appear the greater. Nothing but the sight of +that letter could have made her believe it; but that, taken in +connection with the rareness and coolness of his recent letters to +her, made it all too plain that the ardent flame of his love had +burned out, and that he had repented his impetuosity, now that he had +had time to think of the sacrifice which it entailed.</p> + +<p>This was indeed great for a man in his position, ambitious in his +career, and with his foot already on the ladder that led to success. +She even began to doubt whether he would have fulfilled his +obligations to her when it came to the point.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p><p>She got out his letters and read them over. How passionately loving +were the early ones—how cool and constrained the more recent! The +contrast struck her far more now in the light of recent events. It +really seemed as if he might be trying to get out of the engagement.</p> + +<p>At this thought pride came to her rescue. She felt herself grow hard +and cold, and her composure returned completely. She would never let +him know what she had heard, for that might make it seem as if she +gave him up from compulsion. She sat down and wrote quickly a few +formal sentences, saying that she had mistaken her own feelings, and +that she wished to break the engagement. She added that she was +returning immediately to America, as indeed she was intending to do +at the time of the writing of this letter.</p> + +<p>After it had gone, and was on its way to St. Petersburg, a mental +condition of such abject misery settled down upon her that the +thought of the endless days and nights of idle monotony which would +be her lot if she returned home, and the awful void of her mother’s +absence, became intolerable. She could not do it. She must find some +way of escape from such a fate.</p> + +<p>Just as she was casting about for such a way, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>Lord Hurdly came to +see her. The escape which he offered had in it many elements of the +strongest attractiveness for her. Since she could not be happy, as +she believed, why might she not get from life the satisfaction which +comes from the holding of a great position, the opportunity of being +admired and wielding a powerful influence? It was a prospect which +had always charmed her; and now, with no alternative but lonely +isolation and bitter weariness, was it strange that she decided to +accept Lord Hurdly’s offer?</p> + +<p>And if it was to be, what need was there to wait? Wounded in her +pride as she was by the revelation of Horace which she had received, +she relished the idea of becoming at once what he had proposed to +make her—and afterward repented of. She was fully convinced in her +mind that he had repented, and her blood beat faster as she thought +of his consternation on hearing of this marriage. She felt eager that +he should hear of it at once.</p> + +<p>And so indeed he did. On the heels of his receipt of Bettina’s letter +her marriage to Lord Hurdly was announced by cable—not to him, but +through the newspapers.</p> + +<p>Then into his heart there entered also the exceeding <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>bitterness of a +lost ideal. She became to him, as he had become to her, the image of +broken faith, capricious feeling, and overweening worldly ambition.</p> + +<p>Yet in the heart of the man, who had loved completely and supremely, +as Bettina never had, there was a feeling which made him say to +himself, with a conviction which he knew to be immutable, that +marriage was not for him. The present Lord Hurdly had said the same, +and had changed his mind. For himself he knew that he should not, for +all of love that he was capable of feeling had been given to the +woman who had cast him off.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had gone through her first London season as Lady Hurdly, and +certainly no girl’s ambitious dreams could have forecast a more +brilliant experience. She had been far too ignorant to imagine such +subtle delights of the senses as resulted from the wealth and +eminence which she had attained to in marrying Lord Hurdly. And +beyond the mere sensuous appeal which was made to her by the wearing +of magnificent clothes and jewels, and the being always surrounded +with objects of beauty and means of luxury, she had the greater +delight of having her feverishly active mind continually supplied +with a stimulus, which it now more than ever needed. This was +furnished by the innumerable social demands made upon her, and the +complete power which she felt within herself to respond to them not +only creditably, but in a way that should make even Lord Hurdly +wonder at her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p><p>True, she had had no social training, and in a less powerful position +she might have shown her ignorance and incapacity, for she would then +have had to take a personal supervision of the things which she now +left utterly alone, and which, being essential to be done, were +done—how and by whom she did not ask. Lord Hurdly had so long done +the honors of his house without a wife that it was natural to him to +continue the direction of household affairs, with the aid of the +accomplished assistants who were in his employment; so Bettina had no +more to do with such matters than if she had become the mistress of a +royal household. At the proper time she showed herself at Lord +Hurdly’s side, and she had beauty enough and wit enough not only to +do credit to that high position, but to cast a glory over it which he +knew in his heart no other Lady Hurdly of them all had ever done.</p> + +<p>That she enjoyed it, who could doubt that saw her, day after day and +evening after evening, beautifying with her presence the social +gatherings at her own splendid house, and at those of the new +acquaintances who sought her society and distinguished her with their +attentions wherever she might go.</p> + +<p>Having had no experience of wealth, it never <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>seemed to occur to her +that it could have its definite limit, and she ordered costumes and +invented ways of spending money which sometimes surprised her lord, +but which also pleased him. His fortune was so large, and had been so +long without such demands upon it, that it was a source of genuine +satisfaction to him to see that Bettina knew how to avail herself of +her brilliant opportunity. Save and except a wife, he was already +possessed of every adjunct that could do credit to his name and +position, and in marrying Bettina he had been largely influenced by +the fact that she was qualified to supply this one deficiency with a +distinction which no other woman he had ever seen could have bestowed +upon the position.</p> + +<p>So, to the world, Bettina seemed completely satisfied, and in the +worldly sense she was so. In this sense, also, Lord Hurdly seemed and +was satisfied in his marriage. How it was with them in their hearts +no one knew, and perhaps there was no one who cared to know. The one +being to whom this question was of strong interest was very far away. +He had shifted his position from Russia to India about the time of +his cousin’s marriage, and Bettina never heard his name mentioned, +nor did she ever utter it.</p> + +<p>After the London season was over, Lord and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>Lady Hurdly had moved +from their town-house to the family seat, Kingdon Hall. Here, after a +day’s stop, Lord Hurdly had left her, to return to town on some +public business; and so, for the first time since her marriage, she +had a few days to herself. Later they were to have the house filled +with guests, and after that to make some visits; so this time of +solitude was not likely to be repeated soon. Bettina was surprised at +herself to see how eagerly she clutched at it. It was, in some faint +degree, like the feeling which she had had after the rare and short +separations from her mother—a longing to get back to the familiar +and the accustomed. She now felt somewhat the same longing to get +back to herself. She had done her part in all that brilliant pageant +like a woman in a dream. She had enjoyed it, for power and admiration +were very dear to her, and she had revelled in their fresh +first-fruits. But she had not been herself for so long, had not for +so long looked herself in the face and searched her own heart, that +she did not know herself much more familiarly than she knew the other +brilliant personages who moved beside her across the crowded stage of +London life.</p> + +<p>It was unaccountable even to herself how she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>rejoiced at the idea of +these few days of quiet and solitude. Nora, her old nurse, was of +course with her still, with a French maid to assist her and perform +the important functions of the toilet of which the elderly woman was +ignorant. This maid Bettina sent off on a holiday, so that she might +have only Nora about her.</p> + +<p>The morning after her arrival at Kingdon, Bettina, having breakfasted +in her room, went for a ramble over the house. It seemed solemnly +vast and empty, and she would have lost herself many times had she +not encountered now and then a courtesying house-maid or an +obsequious footman, who answered her inquiries and told her into what +apartments she had strayed.</p> + +<p>“Show me the way to the picture-gallery,” she said to one of these, +“and then tell the housekeeper to come to me there presently.”</p> + +<p>She had taken a fancy to this white-haired old woman the night +before, when Lord Hurdly had presented the servants to their new +mistress in the great hall, where they had all been assembled to +receive her on her arrival.</p> + +<p>In a few moments she found herself alone in the stately gallery, +going from picture to picture. On one side was a long line of the +ladies of Kingdon Hall, painted by contemporary artists, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>each +celebrated in his era. At the end of this line her own portrait, done +by a celebrated French painter who had come to London for the +purpose, had recently been put in place.</p> + +<p>It was a magnificent thing in its manner as well as in its subject, +and the costume which Lord Hurdly’s taste had conceived for her and a +French milliner had carried out was a marvel of rich effects. As she +paused in front of it her lips parted, and she said, whispering to +herself,</p> + +<p>“Lady Hurdly—the present Lady Hurdly! And what has become of +Bettina?”</p> + +<p>As she asked herself this question she sighed.</p> + +<p>A sudden instinct made her move away. She wanted to escape from Lady +Hurdly. She had a chance to be herself to-day, and she felt a strong +desire to make the most of it.</p> + +<p>Hearing a sound at her side, she turned and found the serious, +pleasant face of the housekeeper near her.</p> + +<p>“Good-morning, my lady,” she said, gently, in answer to Bettina’s +friendly salutation. “Will your ladyship not have a shawl? This room +is always cool, no matter what the weather is.”</p> + +<p>Bettina declined the wrap, but passed on to the next picture, +requesting the woman to come with her and act as cicerone.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p><p>“What is your name? I ought to know it,” she said.</p> + +<p>“Parlett, your ladyship.”</p> + +<p>“And how long have you lived here, Parlett?”</p> + +<p>“Over forty years, my lady. I was here in the old lord’s time. That +is his picture, with his lady next to him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina looked with interest at the two pictures designated.</p> + +<p>“He is thought to be very much like his present lordship,” said the +housekeeper.</p> + +<p>“Yes, I see it,” said Bettina, feeling an instinct to guard her +countenance. Here were the same keen eyes, the same resolute jaw, the +same thin lips and hard lines about the mouth. Only in the older face +they were yet more accentuated, and instead of the not unbecoming +thinness of hair which showed in the son, there was a frank expanse +of bald head which made his features all the harder.</p> + +<p>Hurrying away from the contemplation of this portrait, Bettina turned +to its companion. Here she encountered a face and form which were +truly all womanly, if by womanliness is meant abject submission and +self-effacement. The poor little lady looked patiently hopeless, and +her deprecating air seemed the last in the world calculated <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>to hold +its own against such a lord. That she had not done so—of her own +full surrender of herself, in mind and soul and body—the picture +seemed a plain representation.</p> + +<p>“Poor woman! She looks as if she had suffered,” said Bettina.</p> + +<p>“Oh yes, my lady,” Parlett answered, as if divided between the +inclination to talk and the duty to be silent.</p> + +<p>“She was unhappy, then?” said Bettina. “You need not hesitate to +answer. His lordship has told me what a trusted servant of the family +you are, and I shall treat you as such. You need not fear to speak to +me quite freely.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, my lady, she had a great deal of sadness in her life,” went on +the housekeeper, thus encouraged. “She had six daughters before she +had a son, and this was naturally a disappointment to his lordship. +One after the other these children died, which grieved her ladyship +sorely, for she was a very devoted mother. His lordship had never +noticed them much, being angry at not having an heir, and this made +my lady all the fonder of them. She had little constitution herself, +and the children were sickly. At last, however, an heir was born, but +her ladyship died at his birth. It seemed a pity, my lady, did it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span>not? For his lordship was greatly pleased with the heir, and, of +course, my lady would have been much happier after that.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not answer. The evident reasonableness of the father’s +position, in the eyes of this good and gentle woman, made it +impossible for her to speak without dissent to such an atrocity as +Lord Hurdly’s attitude seemed to her. So she moved away, and the +woman took the hint and said no more.</p> + +<p>A little distance off, at the end of the long room, she had caught +sight of an object that made her heart beat suddenly. She did no more +than glance at it, and then returned to the contemplation of the +picture before which she was standing. But she had recognized Horace +Spotswood in the tall stripling of perhaps fifteen who stood in +riding-clothes at the side of a pawing gray horse.</p> + +<p>By the time she had made her way to it, in its regular succession, +she had quite recovered her calmness and had made up her mind as to +her course.</p> + +<p>“And who is this handsome boy?” she said, with perfect +self-possession, as they stood before the large canvas.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo3" id="Illo3"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 483px;"> +<img src="images/i066.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="483" height="400" alt="“‘AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?’”</span> +</div> + +<p>“That is Mr. Horace, my lady,” said the woman, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>a sudden tone of emotion mingling with the deference in her voice as +her eyes dwelt on the picture fondly.</p> + +<p>And who could wonder at this? Surely a more winsome lad had never +been seen. He was even then tall, and in his riding coat and breeches +looked strangely slender, in contrast to the broad-shouldered +physique which she had lately known so well. But the eyes were just +the same—direct, frank, eager eyes, which looked straight at you and +seemed to make a demand upon you to be as open and frank in return.</p> + +<p>Had Bettina searched the world, she could not, as she knew, have +found a more significant contrast than the comparison of the honest +eyes with the guarded, cold, inscrutable ones into which it was now +her lot to look so often.</p> + +<p>“Have you known him a long time?” she asked, pleasantly, as the woman +remained silent.</p> + +<p>“Oh, since he was a little lad, my lady! We all love Mr. Horace here. +He is the handsomest and kindest young gentleman in the world, and +he’s that good to me that I couldn’t be fonder of my own son, not +forgetting the difference, my lady.”</p> + +<p>Bettina detected a tone of regretfulness in the woman’s voice, and +also, she thought, an effort <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>to conceal it. If there was a feeling +akin to this regret in her own heart, she also must conceal it. These +allusions to the handsome, enthusiastic young fellow to whom she had +promised herself in marriage had stirred her deeply. The idea of any +one, servant or equal, speaking in this way of the man who was her +husband, at any time in his life, gave her a nervous desire to laugh. +It was followed by an equally nervous impulse to cry.</p> + +<p>Walking ahead of the housekeeper, she gained a moment’s opportunity +for the recovery of her self-control, and she made good use of it.</p> + +<p>“Parlett,” she said, presently, “I do not want you to think that in +marrying Lord Hurdly I have done an injury to Mr. Spotswood.” In +spite of herself, her voice shook at the name.</p> + +<p>“Oh no, my lady—” began Parlett, but her mistress interrupted her, +saying, quickly:</p> + +<p>“Of course he always knew that his lordship might marry, and could +not have been unprepared for such a possibility; but in order that he +might feel no difference in his present position on that account, +Lord Hurdly has settled on him what is really a handsome fortune—not +only the income of it, but the principal also. I tell you this that +you may understand that he <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span>is none the worse off, so far as money +goes, through his cousin’s marriage to me.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, my lady. I understand, my lady. Thank you for telling me,” said +Parlett, somewhat nervously. “Of course every one knows that you have +done him no harm, my lady, and we knew, of course, that his lordship +would do the handsome thing by him.”</p> + +<p>Somehow these civil, reassuring words smote painfully upon Bettina’s +consciousness. When this woman spoke so confidently of Lord Hurdly’s +doing the handsome thing by his former heir, she felt it to be the +hollow tribute of a conventional loyalty, and the assurance that it +was understood that she herself had done him no harm grated on her +also. Now that she was quite alone and free to think things out, as +she had shrunk from doing heretofore, and as, in the rush of the +London season, she had been able to avoid doing, she felt a sense of +compunction toward Horace that seriously depressed her.</p> + +<p>Dismissing the housekeeper, she put on a shade-hat and went for a +ramble in the park. How beautiful it was! What shrubs, what trees, +what undulations of rich emerald turf! She could not in the least +feel that she had any right in it all. But how must a creature love +it who <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span>had looked upon its noble beauties from childhood up to +youth, and on to manhood, with the belief that it would some day be +his own! She could not stifle the feeling that she had wronged that +being if by her marriage she should be the means of depriving him of +such a fortune and position, and deep, deep down in her consciousness +she had a boding fear that, if all things hidden could be revealed, +it might be shown that in a keener sense than this she had also +wronged him.</p> + +<p>For marriage had been in many ways an illumination to Bettina. The +revelation of her own heart which it had given her was one which she +tried hard to shut her eyes to. Twice she had consented to the idea +of marrying without love. Once she had actually done this thing. Only +her own heart knew what had been the consequences to her. But of one +thing she had often felt glad. This was that she had not entered into +a loveless marriage with a man who had loved her as she had believed +Horace did at the time he had so ardently wooed her. From such a +wrong as that might she be delivered!</p> + +<p>As her thoughts now dwelt on Horace and the circumstances of their +brief past together, the memory of his honest, tender, self-forgetful +attitude <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>toward her recurred to her half wistfully, in contrast to +her recent experiences. Lord Hurdly’s manner toward her had, in +truth, changed from the very hour of their marriage. He no longer had +the air of a solicitous suitor, but took at once that of the assured +husband and master. It made her think what she had heard of his +father and of his poor little mother’s history. Not that she could +fancy herself becoming, under any circumstances, a Griselda; though +she could without difficulty imagine him in his father’s <i>rôle</i>.</p> + +<p>But what right had she, she asked herself, to expect to reap where +she had not sown? She had married for money and position, and she had +got them. What more had she expected?</p> + +<p>Nothing more, perhaps; but in one point she had been +disappointed—namely, in the power of these things to give her what +she longed for, and what she could define only under the indefinite +term happiness.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina’s talk with Parlett had set her mind to working very actively +in a direction in which she had not allowed it to stray before. The +thought of Horace always brought a sense of pain and spiritual +discomfort to her, which she instinctively desired to shake off; and +in the restless whirl of London life, which left her little time for +thought of any kind, she had not much difficulty in doing so.</p> + +<p>Now, however, she had nothing to do but to think and to become +acquainted with her new possessions, the latter occupation being a +strong stimulus to the former. There were many associations with +Horace at Kingdon Hall. It was extraordinary how many things that he +had told her in connection with this place came back to her. She was +constantly recognizing pictures or persons or names with which he had +made her familiar. The persons were, of course, the servants, +steward, tenants, and the like, for she had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>seen no others. Even in +walking about the lawn she had found his initials cut on trees, and +the very dogs which joined her when she would go out for her walks +had names on their collars that she knew. There was one, a +magnificent Great Dane, which bore Horace’s name there as well as his +own. This dog, Comrade, she had heard Horace speak of with a special +affection.</p> + +<p>True, Kingdon Hall had never been Horace’s home, but he had grown up +with the idea that it might be, and since coming to manhood had felt +wellnigh secure that it would be. All his life he had been in the +habit of making visits here, and the impression which he had left +behind him was almost surprising to Bettina.</p> + +<p>The place in which this impression was strongest was in the hearts of +the servants. Bettina, through Nora, had assured herself of this. The +devoted servant, who had the sole object in life of serving her +beloved mistress, had, by Bettina’s orders, informed herself on this +point, and all that she gathered in the servants’ hall she retailed +to Bettina in her room. Nora, like every one else, had been won by +Horace’s manner and appearance, but, of course, when her mistress had +drawn off from him, she had no idea of anything but acceptance of the +changed conditions. Still, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span>she was inwardly delighted when Bettina +explained to her how anxious she was to learn all that she could +about Mr. Horace, so that she might lose no opportunity of furthering +his interest with Lord Hurdly, and making up to him, as far as +possible, for having disappointed him in his worldly prospects by +marrying his cousin.</p> + +<p>That he could hold her accountable for any other wrong to him she did +not admit. At times the memory of his fresh and buoyant youth, in so +great contrast to the jaded maturity of his cousin, knocked at the +door of her heart, and the ardent expressions of his worshipping, +passionate love for her echoed there with a distinctness that amazed +her.</p> + +<p>Surely he had loved her—this she could not doubt. But if his love +had been so slight that a few months of absence had cooled it, and of +so poor a quality that a new caprice had taken its place so soon, she +was well rid of it. That this had been so the letter which Lord +Hurdly had shown her sufficiently attested, and she must guard +herself against the folly of sentimental regrets.</p> + +<p>It was not Horace that she regretted. It was only the ideal of the +love between man and woman which her brief intercourse with him had +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>held up to her. She had seen love in a different guise since +then—or what went by the name of love—and surely the contrast must +have had a deeper root than the mere difference between youth and +middle-age.</p> + +<p>It was not often that Bettina allowed herself to think of these +things. But now, in her solitude and idleness, visions would come of +the eager lover, strong as a young Narcissus, who represented love in +such a simple, wholesome guise—or at least so it had seemed to be. +Then she would shake off the image, and tell herself it was but +seeming, as the result had proved, and so she would accuse herself of +weakness and sentimentality. These thoughts were getting to be +inconvenient. They haunted her too persistently, and at last she +began to wish for the time to come when her days would again be too +crowded with engagements for her to indulge in such foolish +reflections.</p> + +<p>The truth was, deep down in Bettina’s heart there was a fear which +she could not wholly still in any waking hour. She could and did +refuse to recognize it, even in her own soul; but there it was, and +there it remained, to rise again and again, and almost stifle her +with the sinister possibility which it suggested.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p><p>This fear was based upon the clearer knowledge of Lord Hurdly’s +character which had come to her since marriage. She had found in him +an inexorable resolution to have what he wanted in life, which had +rendered him, more than once within her knowledge, unscrupulous as to +the means he used in the securing of his ends. This it was which had +planted in her mind the awful though remote possibility of his having +been, in some manner, insincere in his representations of Horace’s +nature and character.</p> + +<p>But then there was the letter from his friend which she had seen with +her own eyes, with the St. Petersburg mark, so familiar to her, on +the envelope, and which had been written by a person who could not +have known that she would ever see it. Surely that was enough to +settle all doubts as to the character and conduct of the man to whom +she had first pledged herself in marriage, and she had at least the +satisfaction of knowing that her present husband could be charged +with no such faults. His indifference to her sex was proverbial in +society, and that she alone, of all the women he had seen—so many of +whom had angled for him openly—had been able to do away with his +aversion to marriage was a tribute in which she could not help +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span>feeling a certain pride, the more so as she saw every day new proofs +of his fastidiousness, as well as his importance.</p> + +<p>So she stifled this dread suggestion and forced her thoughts into +other channels. This was to be more easily accomplished when her body +was actively employed; so she took long rides on horseback, attended +by a groom, or long walks in the park alone. In these walks Horace’s +big dog Comrade would often join her. The creature had taken a fancy +to her, which seemed, in some strange way, to comfort her.</p> + +<p>Besides these diversions, she had her large correspondence to dispose +of every day; for in her important position she had of course +established numberless points of contact with the world.</p> + +<p>So the time went by until Lord Hurdly’s return, and the day that +followed saw Kingdon Hall filled with guests. After that there were +few moments of reflection for its mistress, as the duty of doing the +honors of this great establishment demanded all her time.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina loved this power and importance. The drama of her present +life was like the unfolding, before her gaze, of a beautiful series +of pictures which she had conceived in her imagination, and which +some enchanter’s word had turned into reality. The crowded functions +of the London season had somewhat palled upon her, though she had not +quite owned it to herself; but here she was the centre of the system, +the light around which these lesser lights revolved, and she seemed, +under these conditions, to shine with an increased radiance. Her +manners, where they differed from those of the women about her, +seemed to gain rather than lose by the contrast, and her costumes +seemed to be endless in their variety as well as in their beauty. +Certainly she had an air of being born to the purple, and her +husband’s pride in her was undoubted, if unexpressed.</p> + +<p>Bettina was aware that this pride was his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>strongest feeling in +regard to her, and she was abundantly willing to have it so. If she +had found it difficult to fall in love with a youth who might have +disturbed the heart of Diana, she was not likely to have fallen in +love with the cool, cynical, narrow-chested, thin-haired man whom she +could yet feel a certain pride in owning as her husband, since his +appearance, no less than his name, was distinguished. She had always +had a theory that she would never love deeply any one besides her +mother, and her two experiences in the lottery of marriage, so +different as they were, convinced her that her knowledge of herself +had been correct. She was glad of it. The hot anguish which at times +even yet contracted her heart at the thought of her mother made her +hope devoutly that she would never love again. The joy of it could +not be worth the pain.</p> + +<p>When Lady Hurdly’s house-party broke up, she went with her husband on +a round of visits to other country-houses. This phase of society she +liked, and she threw herself into it with ardor. But toward the end +she wearied of these visits, as she had wearied of London, and was +glad to get back to Kingdon Hall. Instead of rest, however, she found +restlessness, and the disturbing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>thoughts which she had smothered +before came back with added force. It was a relief to her to think of +going abroad—Lord Hurdly having made plans for their spending some +months of the winter on the Continent.</p> + +<p>There was one instinctive fear connected with this plan—the +possibility that she might by some chance encounter Horace. She had +little fear that he would come to England. What would it matter if +she should meet him? He had never been anything to her, really—so +she assured herself—and she had certainly been, in reality, quite as +little to him. Yet she did unreasonably dread such a meeting with +him, and felt anxious to know where he was.</p> + +<p>Accordingly, one morning she asked Parlett, in a casual way, if she +ever heard from Mr. Horace.</p> + +<p>“Oh yes, my lady; he writes to me now and then,” replied the +housekeeper. Bettina had not expected to hear this; her only thought +was to draw out some information gained by hearsay.</p> + +<p>“He is at St. Petersburg?” she asked, indifferently.</p> + +<p>“No, my lady; at Simla,” was the unexpected answer. “He has been +there a good while. I had a pamphlet from him the other day. When <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>he +has not time to answer my letters, he often sends me a paper, or +something like that, to show me what he has been doing. I can’t +always understand them, but he knows I like to have them just because +he wrote them.”</p> + +<p>Bettina was unwilling to show her ignorance, so she did not say that +she had no knowledge that he ever wrote for publication, and when +Parlett went on to offer her the reading of the pamphlet she said, +with an indifferent kindness,</p> + +<p>“Yes, bring it to me, by all means. I am very glad that Mr. Horace +keeps up his intercourse with the old place, which of course may yet +be his. I shall take an interest in seeing what he writes.”</p> + +<p>She went on to speak of certain changes which she wished made in some +of the sleeping-apartments, and then dismissed her housekeeper with +something less than her usual graciousness of manner.</p> + +<p>Bettina felt a strong desire to be alone. These tidings of Horace, +slight as they were, had been disturbing to her. Indeed, as time went +on and her knowledge of Lord Hurdly increased, the fear that he might +have dealt insincerely with his cousin or with herself grew steadily. +She saw proofs every day of the ruthlessness with <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>which he +sacrificed men, and even what should have been principles, to gain +his ends. By the light of the same knowledge she realized how his +meeting with her had disturbed him in his customary calmness of +poise, and she argued from this fact how important it had been to him +to gain his object of making her his wife.</p> + +<p>In the midst of these reflections a house-maid tapped at her door, +with some folded papers on a tray.</p> + +<p>“If you please, my lady, Mrs. Parlett sends you these,” she said.</p> + +<p>She was a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked English girl, with a soft voice +and very pretty manner, and at present she was gently agitated by the +privilege of speaking to her lady, whom she, as well as all the rest +of the maids, regarded as a sort of cross between angel and goddess.</p> + +<p>Bettina thanked her with a kind smile which sent her away completely +happy; then, in the privacy of her own chamber, she opened the +papers. One was a diplomatic pamphlet on a public question in the +line of the writer’s professional work. The other was an article +which went very thoroughly into the question of the best means of +relieving the famine then raging in India.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p><p>It seemed to Bettina that she had vaguely heard that there was such a +famine, but she had not felt more than a kindly casual interest in it +as an unfortunate matter which she could not help. Now, however, as +she read the account which this paper gave, and the lines which it +followed in the effort to render help, her heart burned within her. +Here was a man who had no more power than herself to give money +help—far less, indeed, perhaps. Yet how he was spending his soul, +his strength, his time, his talent, his very heart-beats, on this +effort to go to the rescue of these perishing thousands! No one who +read the throbbing sentences of that paper could have a doubt of the +writer’s earnest desire to help, or of his ability to move the hearts +and wills of others to come to his aid. It wrought upon her +strangely.</p> + +<p>How much money could she lay her hands on? She had no idea, but she +would make it her business to find out. There was her own little +income, which she had taken no account of since her marriage, and +there was the money which Lord Hurdly had put to her credit in the +bank. She would get all she could and send it—anonymously, of +course—to the famine fund which she had casually heard mentioned. +But, oh, what a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span>pitiful offering it seemed compared with what this +man was giving with such lavish self-devotion! From the fervor of his +printed words, and his report of what had so far been accomplished, +she saw that the very passion of his heart was in it. Of his ardent +temperament, his quick sympathies, she had knowledge in her own +experience. Perhaps it had been these very traits of his which had +led him to the conduct which had separated them.</p> + +<p>At this thought, that faint suspicion that he had been misrepresented +to her rose in her heart again; but she choked it back. That would be +too awful. Besides the hideous self-accusations which would have +followed the admission of this doubt, there was another argument +against it which still had its powerful hold on her. She had grown +accustomed to her great position in the social world, and her inborn +instinct for power and admiration was deliciously gratified by the +brilliancy of her present circumstances. She found it very agreeable +to be Lady Hurdly, with all that that name and title implied, and she +did not, even in this moment of such unwonted emotion, lose sight of +that fact.</p> + +<p>Yet the reading of this little paper had stirred a feeling in +Bettina’s heart which she had not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span>felt for so long a time—a +yearning tenderness for some object outside herself: a longing that +her health and strength might avail for others bereft of these +blessings. It was akin to the emotion she had felt by her mother’s +dying bed, and as it swept over her she wept as she had not done +since she had knelt beside that sacred spot.</p> + +<p>Instinctively now she fell upon her knees. She tried to pray—but for +what? She could not compose a form of prayer or articulate a definite +wish. All she could do was to pray to God—the God in whom her mother +had trusted—to give her this thing, this unknown boon which He knew +her passionate need of.</p> + +<p>When she rose from her knees she put her hands to her head, and, +pressing her temples hard, looked about her, as if in search of some +object which might help her to the comprehension of her own mood. +Then, running her fingers inside the collar of her dress, she drew +out, by a slight chain, a small locket, which contained her mother’s +picture and a lock of her white hair. It was a sort of talisman whose +mere touch gave her a sense of comfort. She did not open it now, but +held it between her palms and pressed her cheek against it, standing +there alone, and presently she whispered:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p><p>“What is it, mother darling? What is it that you seem trying to say +to me? Oh, if you can ever speak to me, speak now, and I will listen +as I did not do when you were here beside me! There is something that +I ought to do, and I am not doing it. There is something I am doing +which distresses you. That is the feeling that I have. Oh, my +mother—my lovely, precious, good, good mother—if I had you here, +you would tell me what it is that I ought to do—and I would do it!”</p> + +<p>She ceased her half-inarticulate whispers, and stood intensely +still—almost, it seemed, as if she waited for an answer to them.</p> + +<p>But there came no answer save the still, small voice within her soul, +which had so often tried to speak before, and which even yet she +could not, would not listen to.</p> + +<p>This voice suggested to her with persistent iteration that she should +even now look strictly into the evidence which had so quickly +sufficed to convince her that the young and ardent lover who had +wooed her so passionately, and promised her such loyalty and faith +and devotion, had been false to his professions and his promises +alike.</p> + +<p>Suppose she should investigate; suppose she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span>should get proof that +she as well as he had been falsely dealt with, that he had been true +in every word and thought—what then? Could she endure to keep, after +that, the position of wife to the man who had so deceived and injured +two beings who had believed him? Assuredly she could not. What, then, +would be her alternative? To leave him and go back to the poor life +at home, which her mother’s presence had justified and glorified, but +which without that presence, and with the contrast of her present +position in her mind, would be too intolerable a thought to +contemplate.</p> + +<p>No, she had no sufficient reason to doubt the representations that +her husband had made to her. She would try to accept them more +implicitly for the future, and so fight against such disturbing +ideas. There were ample means of diversion within her reach. Her +sojourn abroad would soon begin, and she must fight against any +recurrence of her present mood of weakness.</p> + +<p>If she was to win this fight, however, there was one precaution which +she felt that she must take. This was to avoid the very name of +Horace Spotswood, and, as far as might be possible, every thought of +him as well.</p> + +<p>Her foreign travels began, and she then had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>the assurance that this +effort would not be difficult of accomplishment. There were a +thousand new issues for Bettina’s interest and feelings in her +constantly changing surroundings, and these were sufficiently +absorbing to do away with lately disturbing considerations. The world +had still its powerful charm for Bettina, and she was now seeing the +world in a very fascinating aspect.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">A</span>s Bettina had found the London season delightful, and yet had been +quite content to see it close, and as the same had been true of her +experience, both as hostess and as guest, at the country-house +parties which had followed the season, so it was also with her +foreign travels, although she found much to interest and delight her +in the various cities which she visited with Lord Hurdly. He was +received with distinction everywhere—a fact partly due to his +prominent position in Parliament, and partly to his social importance +and the acknowledged beauty of his wife.</p> + +<p>Bettina enjoyed it, certainly, and found it very helpful to her in +carrying out her resolve to banish the agitating thoughts which would +recur whenever she thought of Horace. She had managed to stop +thinking of him almost entirely, and to live only for the +satisfaction of each day as it passed.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p><p>After a while, however, she began to feel that there was a certain +flatness in the sort of pleasure which consisted so largely in being +an object of admiration, for she had not been able herself to feel +much enthusiasm for the people whom she met. She did not make friends +easily, perhaps because she did not greatly care to have friends. Her +mother’s delicate health had left her little time for other +companionships, even if she had desired them, and since the loss of +her mother her heart had seemed to close up, and her capacity for +caring for people, never very great, was lessening every day.</p> + +<p>Several times during her travels she had heard Horace spoken of. On +these occasions she had not betrayed the fact that she had any +knowledge of him, and so the talk about him had been quite +unrestrained. She had heard it said by one man that “he was turning +out a very earnest fellow”; by another that “his pamphlets were +making quite a stir”; and, again, that he “might do something worth +while in diplomacy if he’d let philanthropy alone.” Another man had +said that “all he needed was to marry money, and he’d have a great +career before him.”</p> + +<p>When Bettina returned from her travels these <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span>few remarks, overheard +at dinner-tables or in public places, seemed in some unaccountable +way to be the most important things she had secured out of her late +experiences. Certainly they were the most insistently recurring, and +the idea was forced upon her that the way in which men spoke of +Horace Spotswood was a strong contrast to the tone of the letter from +Lord Hurdly’s friend.</p> + +<p>All this was a source of distress to her. She would have preferred to +believe the letter, for such a belief would have rid her of the sting +of self-reproach; but, try as she might, she could not wholly get her +consent to it.</p> + +<p>On her way back to England she stopped in Paris to choose her +costumes for the coming season. It was a pleasure to her to try on +these beautiful things, which she bought without any thought of the +cost of them; but it was a pleasure which she had become accustomed +to, and so its keenness was gone. Besides this, she had nothing to +look forward to except the London season, and custom had also +detracted from the zest of that. She was in the attitude of always +looking beyond. Surely, with such a position and such a fortune as +she had attained to, there must be something to satisfy the vague +longing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span>within her which she called desire for happiness.</p> + +<p>It was decided that they were to stay at Kingdon Hall a short time +before going up to town, and Bettina had looked forward to the +freedom of the country life with a hopefulness which reality +disappointed. Here again she thought of Horace, and the possible +injustice she had done him forced its way into her consciousness, and +so disturbed her with doubts and misgivings that she determined to +overcome her reluctance to mention Horace’s name to her husband, and +ask boldly whether he had actually received the sum of money which +she had been promised that he should have. It had become so essential +to her to know about this that she determined to use her very first +opportunity of asking.</p> + +<p>Not ten minutes after she had made this resolution she unexpectedly +encountered Lord Hurdly, in crossing a hall. He had been out on +horseback, and still wore his riding-clothes. The correct and +carefully fitted leggings showed legs that were thin and shapeless. +Beneath them were small feet, on which their owner did not step very +firmly. The somewhat showy waistcoat and short coat had an air of +displaying themselves and concealing the form beneath <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>them, which +was perhaps a high tribute to his tailor’s art. His chest looked +narrower, his face more wrinkled, his hair thinner, than Bettina had +before noticed them to be, and there was a certain loose-jointedness +in his figure which, as he moved toward her on his narrow and closely +booted feet, gave him the sort of teetering motion of the elderly +beau. His face, neutral and cold as ever, showed the signs of age +less, yet Bettina felt that it masked the inadequacy of his soul as +distinctively as his clothes masked that of his body.</p> + +<p>As they came toward each other—this man and this woman, whose +marriage was supposed to be a union of two into one—the face of each +might, by an eye sensitive to the subtleties of human expression, +have been seen to harden slightly. Lord Hurdly took off his hat with +an automatic motion which might have prompted the thought that the +action arose from his ideal of himself rather than from any +association with the woman before him.</p> + +<p>“Excuse me for detaining you a moment,” said Bettina, “but I want to +know whether Horace Spotswood actually received the money which you +made over to him at the time of your marriage to me. I have heard +that he is leading a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>very active life, on lines where money will be +of great use to him. Naturally I am anxious to be sure of the fact +that he has suffered no injury, however indirectly, through me.”</p> + +<p>She had been able to control both her voice and expression +entirely—a fact on which she fervently congratulated herself.</p> + +<p>“You may feel quite at ease on that score, I assure you,” Lord Hurdly +answered, in his cold, incisive tones. “He received the money, and +has probably used it for the furtherance of these ridiculous and +sentimental schemes of his. This should give you the gratifying +assurance that he has been bettered, and not worsted, by reason of +his connection with you.”</p> + +<p>The tone in which he spoke was galling to Bettina, but she made no +answer, though no words which she could have spoken would have +conveyed a greater resentment of his speech than did her disdainful +silence. She made a motion to move away, but he deliberately placed +himself in front of her, saying, in the same hard tone:</p> + +<p>“It occurred to me, from time to time while we were abroad, that you +were rather eager in gleaning information about the person we have +been speaking of, and I want to tell you that what has been evident +to me may be evident to others. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>You may not care how the thing +looks, but as I do, perhaps you will be more careful in the future.”</p> + +<p>His use of the word “eager” in connection with her attitude in this +affair gave Bettina swift offence, and this feeling was heightened by +the suggestion that she had made herself liable to criticism on such +a subject.</p> + +<p>“You cannot, I think,” she answered, in a tone of proud resentment, +“be more careful than I am that I shall act with propriety as your +wife. Since there is so little besides the form to be complied with, +I see the greater necessity for punctiliousness in observing that. +The rebuke you have just given me is utterly unmerited, and I shall +therefore not change my manner of conducting myself in any +particular.”</p> + +<p>“Perhaps you will think better of that decision, and will oblige me +by not making yourself conspicuous by holding your breath to listen +whenever that person chances to be mentioned. You are not unlikely to +hear him alluded to during the coming season, as he has been making a +bid for popularity at his new post by taking up the matter of the +famine, and,” he added with a sneering smile, “relieving it with the +money I paid him.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p><p>The word cut into Bettina’s heart.</p> + +<p>“Paid him?” she said, scrutinizing him with a glance before which +even his hard eyes faltered. “Paid him for what?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, for keeping himself out of my way!”</p> + +<p>She felt that she had compelled him to this response, and that he +would have liked to put it more brutally. As it was, there lurked a +sting in it which provoked her to reply.</p> + +<p>“Did he hold the privilege of your proximity at so large a price?”</p> + +<p>A smile of quiet irony accompanied the words. As it curved her lips +alluringly, Lord Hurdly felt himself touched with the sudden sense of +her powerful charm. No one else on earth would have dared to say this +to him, or anything remotely comparable with it. There was something +very piquant to his jaded palate in the flavor of this audacious +speech. Instead of scowling, therefore, he smiled.</p> + +<p>“I have heard,” he said, amiably, “that America was the land of the +free and the home of the brave, and certainly you seem to warrant one +in accepting that belief.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, a good deal relieved at this turn of affairs, took the +opportunity that the moment gave her to say, gravely:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p><p>“No; I do not consider myself free. I have bound myself, in my +marriage to you, and I have no intention or desire to forget the +duties which I owe you. But I tell you frankly, Lord Hurdly, that I +am not accustomed to either surveillance or tyranny, and I shall not +tamely submit to them. In the carrying out of this resolution, at +least, you will find that I can be brave.”</p> + +<p>She looked more than ordinarily beautiful as she stood erect before +him and said these words, and he had not gazed so fully into her eyes +for a long time. He had almost forgotten their magnetic loveliness. +At sight of them now his pulses beat quicker. A desire for the +mastery of this splendid creature returned to him with a force he +would not have believed possible.</p> + +<p>“Bettina,” he said, in a voice which showed an emotion most unusual +to him, “have you ever known what it was to love, I wonder?”</p> + +<p>“Once—once only,” she answered, a quaver in her voice and a sudden +suffusion of tears in her eyes. “I loved my mother. No one that ever +lived could have loved more truly and more ardently than I loved her; +but there it began and ended. I never deceived you as to that. I +promised you duty and good faith, and I have <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>not failed in these. I +never shall so fail. But love, no! I haven’t it to give.”</p> + +<p>She made a movement to go forward, and he stood aside and let her +pass him. She avoided meeting his gaze, and perhaps it was well that +she did. For slowly its expression changed. A look of hardness that +was almost significant of dislike came into his eyes and compressed +his lips. From the day of their marriage this woman had thwarted and +baffled him. He had tried to get the mastery of her, but he had +failed, and the sense of that failure angered him. He had been used +to dominating every one with whom he came into any sort of close +contact. He had married this American girl with the determination to +dominate her, and he had found himself as powerless as if she had +been a mist maiden. There was no way in which he could lay hold upon +her.</p> + +<p>Concerning Bettina’s attitude toward him he had a theory. He believed +that she had really loved Horace. She was too absolutely in the +shadow of the sorrow of her mother’s death to give full play to any +other feeling, but he had always felt, in every effort that he had +made to win her, that it was the image of Horace Spotswood in her +mind which put him in total eclipse. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span>This theory time had deepened. +His suspicious watchfulness over her every word and look had made him +aware that she listened with interest when Horace’s name was +mentioned, and his imagination heightened the effect of her interest, +and caused him to conjecture as to what she might have heard and felt +at such times as he was not by. Moreover, a certain secret +consciousness in his own soul stimulated him in his suspicions.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">D</span>uring the early weeks of their marriage Lord Hurdly, while changing +his attitude from the solicitude of the pursuer to the masterfulness +of the possessor, had certainly made some effort to win Bettina, +while she, on her part, had tried to oblige him by responding to his +professions for her. Both were aware that this effort had been made +on both sides, and that it had quite failed. By the time the +honey-moon was over, Lord Hurdly had, to all appearance, ceased to +care. The consciousness of this was an immense relief to Bettina, and +she had felt ever since that in doing him credit in the eyes of the +world she would satisfy his first object in having her for a wife. In +this she had not failed. There was a distinct estrangement between +them, but it had never been necessary to define it. Whatever +disagreements there had been, only themselves were aware of. Lord +Hurdly would have felt his authority over her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>incomplete indeed if +he had ever had to assert it in public.</p> + +<p>As for Bettina, a singular change of feeling was going on within her. +She had made her test of the world, and found that she had overrated +its power to please. It was almost appalling to reflect that there +was no more for her to do than to repeat what she had already done. +Another London season, another autumn in receiving and making visits, +another winter abroad. What then? Was there nothing but material +pleasure for her in the world? She wanted something more, something +different from all this.</p> + +<p>One morning she went out into the park, where spring was just +beginning to put forth its greenery. Leaping footsteps sounded behind +her. It was Comrade, bounding to her side and nestling up against +her. She put her arm around his neck and drew him close. He responded +with an affectionateness that was almost human.</p> + +<p>Almost human! At this thought she began to ask herself how much human +affection there was for her in the world. As much, no doubt, she told +herself, as she had to bestow. But why was this?</p> + +<p>The birds were going wild with song in the branches above her head. +The grass, the trees, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span>the clouds, the sky, seemed all to have been +made to be part of a world for love to dwell in. A great hunger +possessed her—a hunger not to be loved, but to love. For the first +time she found herself longing for this boon, entirely apart from any +idea of her mother. Oh, to have some one with a human, comprehending, +ardent heart, to put her arms around as she was now clasping +Comrade—some one to whom to offer up the wealth of love which she +had once thought she could never give except to her dear mother; some +one who might make that mother’s words come true, that a love far +greater than any she had known might be in store for her; some one, +handsome, charming, ardent, loving, sympathetic, kind; some one to be +friend and brother and lover all in one; above all, some one with +thoughts and feelings akin to her own—some one impulsive and +natural—some one young!</p> + +<p>When at last she said good-bye to Comrade and returned to her rooms, +she felt in some strange way that a new era had dawned for her. But a +mood like this was new in her experience, and she fought resolutely +against its recurrence. As an aid to this end she threw herself more +eagerly into the external interests which were so great in such a +position as hers, and became more <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span>noted for her splendid +entertainments and rich dressing than she had been the season before. +As she got a deeper insight into the conditions of the life about +her, she saw opportunities for influence and power, even to a woman, +which attracted her. But she was very ignorant. She knew little of +the world and English affairs, and she found the women about her so +well informed on these subjects that she began to feel herself at a +certain disadvantage. This roused her pride, and she set to work to +inform herself on many subjects of which she had hitherto been +ignorant.</p> + +<p>One means to this end was the reading of newspapers, and this +occupation now absorbed a part of every morning. In this way she +occasionally came upon Horace Spotswood’s name, and when she did, a +strange agitation would possess her. She could not quite shake off an +influence which this man’s life seemed to exert upon hers. Lord +Hurdly would have had her believe that she had bestowed a great +benefit upon Horace, as it was through her that he was in the +possession of his present independent fortune, but there was no voice +so strong as the one in her own heart which told her that she had +wronged him. Here and there she had picked up the impressions of many +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>different people concerning this young diplomatist, and +unquestionably the aggregated effect was one of admiration. The brief +notices of him which she read in the papers confirmed this impression +of him. He was doing well, for a man of his years, in diplomacy, and +he was doing more than well in the work he had undertaken for the +relief of the famine-stricken population near him.</p> + +<p>It was Horace’s interest in this cause which had given rise to +Bettina’s interest in it, and she began to read eagerly all that she +could find on the subject. As a result her heart was, for the first +time in her life, awakened to an intense perception of the suffering +of the world at large. It was a new emotion to her, and one which +throbbed through all her consciousness with a power which changed her +individuality even to herself. She began to think for the first time +of the utter recklessness with which she had been spending the large +sums of money which Lord Hurdly placed at her disposal. Her +expenditure of these sums heretofore had met with his entire +approval, as she could never have too rich a wardrobe to please him. +It was all a part of his own glory and importance, and he never asked +a question as to how the money went.</p> + +<p>But now the tide within Bettina’s heart had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span>turned. As she read of +the sufferings of these starving people, the thought of her own +excess of luxuriousness sickened her. The more she felt within her +soul that nameless sadness which no outside help could relieve, the +more she felt it urgent upon her to relieve the wants of others when +this assuagement lay within her actual power.</p> + +<p>It may seem strange that, with a mother who had a large-hearted +sympathy with all sorrow, Bettina should have kept her own heart so +closed to the suffering outside it; but no seed can sprout until the +soil is prepared for it, and up to this period of her life the ground +of Bettina’s heart had been unprepared.</p> + +<p>Now, however, all was changed. She went to balls and dinners, as her +position as Lord Hurdly’s wife demanded, but her heart was elsewhere. +She began to economize strictly in her personal expenditure, and +collected all the ready money she could lay her hands on, both from +her husband’s allowance and from her own small private fortune, and +sent it anonymously to the Indian famine fund.</p> + +<p>This contribution was sent in with no other identification than “From +B.,” written on the card which accompanied it. How could Bettina +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>have dreamed that any living soul would connect her with it?</p> + +<p>She was not unaware, however, that she was constantly watched by her +husband. Since she had become interested in her new pursuits he +observed her more closely than ever, and on the morning of the +publication in the papers of the special additions to the famine fund +which contained her own subscription Lord Hurdly, with apparently no +reason at all, read the list aloud to her across the breakfast table.</p> + +<p>When he came to the item “From B.,” he paused and looked at her +searchingly.</p> + +<p>Bettina felt her face turn red.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo4" id="Illo4"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i107.jpg" class="jpg ispace" width="500" height="334" alt="“‘THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN’”</span> +</div> + +<p>“I thought so,” said her husband, with a strange mixture of +satisfaction and anger in his hard tones. “I have been expecting some +such foolery as this for some time, and I am not blinded to the +motive behind it. What do you care about those devils of Indian +savages? What does Horace Spotswood care about them? Just as little! +Enough, and too much, of my money has gone already to the prolonging +of their worthless lives. If that graceless cub chooses to go on +wasting money on them he can do it, but I take this occasion to +inform you, Lady Hurdly—and I’d advise you to remember what I +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>say—that I do not choose that any more of my money shall go in that +direction. Do you understand?”</p> + +<p>There was an insolence in his tone which he had never used to her +before. She resented it keenly. Rising to her feet, with an instinct +which forbade her to preside over the table at the other end of which +he was seated as master, she said, with a tinge of anger in her quiet +tones:</p> + +<p>“The money was partly my own—from my mother’s little fortune; and +she would have held, with me, that I could put it to no more holy +use. As to the rest, I understood that that also was my own. I did +not know that you required of me an account of how I used it.”</p> + +<p>“How you used it? You may light your fire with it, for all I care! +But there is one thing for which I do care, and which I mean to see +nipped in the bud; and that is this ridiculous sentimentality which +you are indulging in over Horace Spotswood. If you are regretting +your young lover, that is your own affair, but when you come to +flaunt this regret before the eyes of the public it becomes my +affair, and as such I propose to put a stop to it.”</p> + +<p>Bettina trembled with the rage of resentment <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>that possessed her. She +recollected herself enough, however, not to speak until she had +paused long enough to be sure that she could control herself. Then +she said:</p> + +<p>“You are forgetting yourself, Lord Hurdly, when you presume to speak +to me as you have just done. I have given you no occasion to do so, +and you know it. If there are certain regrets in my marriage to you, +your present conduct justifies them. But permit me to say, on my +side, that I can imagine no explanation of your behavior, except to +suppose that it proceeds from a consciousness in your own mind of +having wronged this man.”</p> + +<p>She was looking at him narrowly. His features did not flush, nor did +his cold eyes falter. And yet, in spite of the long habit of +guardedness which now stood him in such good stead, there was a +consciousness about him, like an atmosphere, which told her that her +thrust had drawn blood.</p> + +<p>“I thought so!” she said, using the very words which he had used to +her. “I have for a long time been struggling in my mind against a +doubt which sometimes would arise, that I might have been deceived. +Everywhere, in public and in private, that I hear that young man +spoken of, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>it is with words of confidence, admiration, and +affection.”</p> + +<p>Still her penetrating gaze was on him, and still he bore it without +flinching.</p> + +<p>“You saw the letter,” he said, with a sneer. “If that was not enough +for you—” He broke off with a harsh, unpleasant laugh.</p> + +<p>“It was enough,” she said. “Surely it has sufficed to fix my fate in +life. But it is possible that that letter gave an exaggerated +account. Still, if the half of it was so, I was more than justified +in cutting loose from him. No one could possibly blame me.”</p> + +<p>“No one does, so far as I can see,” was the malicious answer. “I hear +of no complaints from others, and certainly I have uttered none. You +make a very satisfactory Lady Hurdly, and I suppose you get enough +out of the position to repay you for anything you may have lost—at +least, from the world’s point of view, you should have done so.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not answer at once. A sickness of soul was creeping over +her that made all life look suddenly loathsome. The one feeble ray +that penetrated the darkness in which she felt herself enveloped was +the help that came from a certain ideal which she had recently +enthroned <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>in her own heart. As the world’s need, the wider issues +affecting the myriad lives beyond her own, had recently been brought +before her consciousness, she had felt her way, as simply and weakly +as a child might have done, to one plain principle of life—that it +was worth while to try to be good. Never had she felt so keenly as in +this minute the utter futility of hoping to be happy. Yet in this +minute she felt more than ever, also, that happiness was not all.</p> + +<p>It was only rarely that she had any personal talk with her husband. +The wall of separation between them seemed to be thickening by silent +accretion all the time. It was very difficult to scale this wall, and +she felt that any effort to do so irked him no less than it did her. +So, with an instinct not to let go the present opportunity, she said, +rather eagerly, as he was rising to go away:</p> + +<p>“Sit down a moment. We do not often speak together. I have something +on my mind to say to you.”</p> + +<p>He resumed his seat and lighted a cigar—an action which discouraged +her by its nonchalance. Still, she was determined to go on. By a +great effort she made her voice very gentle, as she said:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p><p>“I know I have disappointed you in what you had hoped from this +marriage between us, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. If I +have not been able to give you the feeling which you desired—”</p> + +<p>He interrupted her.</p> + +<p>“Feeling?” he said. “Who wants feeling nowadays in a wife? No one +expects it. I wanted some one to make a handsome figure as Lady +Hurdly. I expected that you would do that, and you have not +disappointed me.”</p> + +<p>“If this is true, I’m glad to know it,” she said; “but, at any rate, +you could not blame me for not giving you the love another woman +might have given you. I never deceived you as to that. I told you I +had not that love to give; not—as you have so unjustly +hinted—because I had given it to another man, but because I was then +incapable of love. I had no thought of any one beyond myself. I was +miserably ignorant and egoistic. It was in ignorance and egoism that +I took the position of your wife, but I think from the first that I +have tried, as I could, to fulfil its obligations. I have tried to be +and to appear what you would wish. And I am not unmindful of the +honor and distinction which my marriage to you has conferred upon +me.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p><p>“Gad! I should hope not! One of the biggest positions in England!” he +exclaimed, in a tone of scornful irritation. With these words he rose +and left the room.</p> + +<p>Bettina’s pride was deeply wounded. It had been that new assertion of +the control of duty which had led her to say these things to her +husband. She had conquered much in herself before speaking, and she +felt that she had a right to resent the almost brutal insensibility +with which he had received her words.</p> + +<p>As she turned from the breakfast-room and mounted to her own +apartments she felt conscious of a new humiliation in her life. Up to +this time she had believed that Lord Hurdly would have been incapable +of such speech as he had used to her that morning. She had done a +good deal—more than was required of her, she told herself—in +speaking to him as she had done after his words in the early part of +their conversation, and now it seemed plain to her that she had +fulfilled her whole duty toward him, and that if it had done no good, +the fault was on his side and not on hers.</p> + +<p>Once in her own rooms, she gave herself up to profoundly sorrowful +thoughts. She was only twenty-two. How long the path of her future +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span>life looked, and whither would it lead? She had attained all that +any woman could desire in the way of the world’s bestowment. She did +not underrate the value of this. On the contrary, it was as essential +to one part of her nature as something far different in the way of +human possibility was to another part. She did not lose her hold upon +the actual because she was striving after the unattained. All this +power and admiration was very important to her, though she felt the +insufficiency of mere worldly prosperity. “Pleasure to have it, none; +to lose it, pain,” were words that very nearly fitted her state of +mind. At the thought of going back to the obscurity she had come out +of she shrank.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">T</span>hat talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch in their relations +to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its +impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done +all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to +a true and amicable understanding with her husband, and, after it, +she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight +into Bettina’s nature which he had not had before. He found her to be +possessed of a power of caustic speech which, he was bound to +acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that he +had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy over her quite so +conclusively as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an +uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, +that it might be better for him to think twice in future before +crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition, and who +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>was quite unused to dealing with it in his own house. He was still +master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired +to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion +with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving +which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already +endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming +again into close quarters with Bettina.</p> + +<p>This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which +might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to +watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on +the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again +referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of +Horace Spotswood.</p> + +<p>Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and +held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up +against her which might one day be brought before her all at once.</p> + +<p>She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things +beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by +indulgence. When she looked about her in the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span>great throbbing life of +London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand +waiting for her interest and participation that she was soon caught +in the strong movement of woman’s work in social life in its wider +and deeper meaning.</p> + +<p>No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest +herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a +new and delightful consciousness to her that she might become part of +the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she +threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm.</p> + +<p>Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position +was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she +might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots +of those who were at the other extreme of life’s scale from her, +whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had +as little value at one end as at the other.</p> + +<p>Apart from these considerations of pure altruism was the sweet +thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that +she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another +thought would come. This was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>that, far apart as their lives must be, +she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and +perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each—namely, that the +record of the future might help to compensate for the mistakes and +wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately hoping that +he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to +throw hers.</p> + +<p>Under these changed conditions, Bettina’s second season in London was +unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some +unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated with the +“scorn for miserable aims that end with self,” and by the time that +she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so +informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure +which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its +opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal +supervision of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was +eager to enter into. She had awakened to the duty of looking after +the interests of tenants and the good of the parish.</p> + +<p>Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or +not she was unable to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical and +distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered, but +she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he +felt that her prominence in philanthropic activities, which had been +approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon +himself.</p> + +<p>For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the +man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic +to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most +people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and +breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening.</p> + +<p>She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her +visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation into the +needs of her husband’s tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, +and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to +leave for a few days’ hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he +said to her, at the moment of departure:</p> + +<p>“I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which +you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. +The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span>these matters to +their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now +so that I may see no signs of interference on my return.”</p> + +<p>It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he +was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of +haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this +way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no +intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on +his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his +gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent +upon his task, under frowning brows.</p> + +<p>His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her +were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of +disappointment. She did not often take a humble tone with him, but +there was humility as well as entreaty in her voice as she now said,</p> + +<p>“You won’t forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a +little better for them, if I can, will you?”</p> + +<p>“I forbid all interference,” he answered, in a tone that made her +feel that he relished the exercise <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span>of his power. “You can safely +leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently +well in my hands so far.”</p> + +<p>At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, +but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage +that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities were now less +insistent than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped +to be able to alleviate.</p> + +<p>“Oh, indeed you are mistaken!” she said, urgently. “You do not know +how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply +them with. Don’t refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to +my heart.”</p> + +<p>She saw his face grow harder.</p> + +<p>“It is also,” he said, “near my pocket. Going in for charity is all +very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere with your doing +so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to +stop it.”</p> + +<p>His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the +position of being entreated by her. She had an instinct to retort +sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was +a new sensation to her—a willingness to humble her pride that others +might be benefited.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p><p>“I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you +approved it,” she said, “and I will promise you to regulate my public +charities in future strictly in accordance with whatever limitations +you may set. But don’t refuse to let me work a little here—it will +not take much money—among the poor at our very doors.”</p> + +<p>Instead of softening him, as she had hoped that this attitude of +humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She +had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, +because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing.</p> + +<p>He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her +waiting. His gloves were now neatly fastened on his long thin hands, +and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded +to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do +so, as he would certainly have done at one time—as he would also, +undoubtedly, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. +Still, these signs of a diminished deference toward her touched her +lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer +to her question.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p><p>She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was +now puffing from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak.</p> + +<p>Always scrupulously careful in small things, he walked to the window +to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came +over her that he did not intend to answer her last words.</p> + +<p>Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart +rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several +days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to +contemplate. As he moved toward the door she said:</p> + +<p>“You have not answered me.”</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said, with chill politeness. “I answered you +in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants’ +affairs where they properly belong—with me.”</p> + +<p>So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went.</p> + +<p>Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from +the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an +arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she +ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat +her so?</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p><p>With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see +if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which +now seemed to be in her husband’s mind. With every desire to be +honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not +answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for +he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know +of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not +that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she +chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the +mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the +relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of +his meek little mother and masterful-looking father.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections +but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of +those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences, +seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of +all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits +and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were +before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been +killed in the hunting-field.</p> + +<p>Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of +her mother’s noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat +complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded +most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and +regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be +changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed +in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who +had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She +had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had +seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least +symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that +he was dead.</p> + +<p>How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their +last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him +at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had +known—</p> + +<p>Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they +found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet.</p> + +<p>“Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?” said +Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. “They was +that ’aughty to one another before people! But it’s them as feels the +most, sometimes.”</p> + +<p>This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a +response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue.</p> + +<p>It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress’s apartments, where +Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the +arrival <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>of Lord Hurdly’s body were being made. After her profound +emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was +the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness +of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now.</p> + +<p>How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things +seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new +conditions.</p> + +<p>Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be +done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to +do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the +rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was +with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility +of Horace’s arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get +away somewhere before he came.</p> + +<p>Those days when her husband’s body lay in the apartment near her, and +the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his +lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of +the real awakening of Bettina’s soul. The sense of freedom which her +position now secured to her, the power to do and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>be what she chose, +was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her +experience the woman and the hour were met.</p> + +<p>When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had +been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the +heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so +small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for +the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which +saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a +passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs +of others.</p> + +<p>She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life +should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her +vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These +would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have +money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of +the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her, +but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and +she had no misgivings on that score.</p> + +<p>At last the funeral was over and the house was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>rid of guests. +Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and +bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector’s aid, had managed to +get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course +of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute +unadjustment to her new situation.</p> + +<p>It had turned out that Lord Hurdly had left her an income of one +thousand pounds. Her first realization of the smallness of this +provision for her came from the rector’s comment, which was spoken in +a tone as if reluctantly censorious.</p> + +<p>“I should not have believed Lord Hurdly capable of such a thing,” he +said. “I am sure that all who have cared for his honorable reputation +must regret this as much on his account as on yours.”</p> + +<p>“Is it so little?” said Bettina, too proud to show disappointment. “A +thousand pounds a year seems a sufficient sum for the support of one +woman.”</p> + +<p>“For some women, perhaps,” was the answer, “but not for the woman who +has once held the position of mistress of Kingdon Hall. I repeat that +I would not have believed it of Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p><p>Bettina did not hear his last emphatic words, or, at all events, took +no conscious cognizance of them. She was absorbed in the +contemplation of her new condition. How strange it seemed!</p> + +<p>It was something more than strange. She had been too long in +possession of the power and importance of being the reigning Lady +Hurdly, so to speak, not to feel a real revolt at the idea of seeing +herself laid on the shelf. It would not necessarily be so bad if she +had had ample means, for she had made a place for herself in the +world. But she was certain, from the air of commiseration with which +not only the rector but others had regarded her, that she would be +extremely curtailed in such opportunities as depended upon money; and +she had sufficient insight into social affairs to know how the +possession of money broadened opportunity, and the absence of it +limited power.</p> + +<p>There was no denying to herself the pain that it gave her to +relinquish such a position. She had accommodated herself to greatness +so naturally that it seemed incredible that she was to sink back into +a life of obscurity. Frankly, she did not like it.</p> + +<p>And yet, on the other hand, she felt an unfeigned <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>gladness that +Horace was to come to his own. She rejoiced that no child of hers +would ever stand in his way. She had reason to hope that he would use +his great position to great ends, for the residuum of all her turbid +and agitating thoughts about him was an admiration for the man in his +attitude toward the world, no matter how much she still resented his +attitude toward herself. That this last was so, there needed no +stronger proof than her eager resolution to get away from Kingdon +Hall—out of the country, if possible—before the arrival of the man +whose place her husband had once taken, and who, in another sense, +was now to take his.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of +her life consequent upon her husband’s extremely small provision for +her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a +mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America, +in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it +would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for +good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little +joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the +best substitute that can be offered for joy—active and interesting +occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation +of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed +to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the +money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek +some work for the faculties <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span>which she had only lately realized that +she possessed.</p> + +<p>In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the +altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her. +She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a +more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling +her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have +had some intention of this sort.</p> + +<p>That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when +he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to +him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to +America to live.</p> + +<p>Under other conditions her husband’s wish would have greatly +influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. +She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was +not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight +implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of +loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her +best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his +wishes. These had often conflicted with her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span>own, but in such cases +she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been +treated with injustice.</p> + +<p>The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of +Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was +bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated +her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild +impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of +her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a +short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace +should arrive.</p> + +<p>One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him. +It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these +words: “Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably +detained here.—SPOTSWOOD.”</p> + +<p>This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to +her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. +Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away +as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the +conditions of his cousin’s will. Not one penny <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span>had been left him +except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly’s personal +fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace +was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and +noble title.</p> + +<p>The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected +Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others +had been signed “Hurdly.” Several of these she had seen. It seemed to +her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to +refrain from the use of her husband’s name in addressing her. He had +always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least +so it had seemed.</p> + +<p>The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more +confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She +felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this +telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to +do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word +that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her.</p> + +<p>When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious bow, Bettina +received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become +distinctly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>more haughty since her descent in the scale of social and +pecuniary importance.</p> + +<p>Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but +remained standing, with his hat in his hand, as he said:</p> + +<p>“A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. +Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a +letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person +upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the +fulfilment of that trust.”</p> + +<p>Bettina looked at him in amazement.</p> + +<p>“There must be some mistake,” she said. “I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam +Clarke. I have never even heard his name.”</p> + +<p>“That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant +for you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain +incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a +window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the +following sentences:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>“<span class="smcap">My Dear Lady Hurdly</span>,—Should this letter ever come to your +eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left +instructions that it <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>shall be delivered only in the event +of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have +passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can +be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding +which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was +impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of +human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one +wrong which came about through me will have been repaired +by me. I am aware that the rupture of your engagement of +marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a +letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting to come +from an altogether trustworthy source—a man who was on the +spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. +I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly +for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I +need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one +of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you +ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we +shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make +reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped +to inflict upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I +allude to the man who, when you read these words, will bear +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of +him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a +nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well +discredit any assurance which comes by means of me, and I +do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to +accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my +statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is +well known, and once your ears are open you will hear +enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I +have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a +power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of +my life.</p> + +<p>“That I may possibly by this letter do something, however +late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation on +leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life +I go an ineradicable resentment against the man who was +Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent and +admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read +this, will bear the noble name and title which his +predecessor, if the truth about him could be known, has so +soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most +indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man.</p> + +<p>“In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span>do of all the +world, such gentle judgment as Christian hearts may find it +in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of +weakness rather than malice, and who did the evil work of a +malicious man because he had not strength to brave what +that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in +punishment of the resistance of his will.</p> + +<p>“Your ladyship’s repentant and unhappy servant,</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 20em;">”<span class="smcap">Fitzwilliam Clarke.</span>”</span></p></div> + +<p>Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that +she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its +envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin’s +figure half hid by the heavy curtains.</p> + +<p>“Mr. Cortlin,” she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her +side, “I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of +the contents of this letter.”</p> + +<p>“I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered +to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told +me.”</p> + +<p>“Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?” +she asked next.</p> + +<p>“I had, my lady. He was in the confidence <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span>of his late lordship, who +intrusted to him many of his private affairs.”</p> + +<p>“The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?”</p> + +<p>“So I have understood, my lady. Formerly he was in the army, and I +have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even +heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord +Hurdly’s influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story +was hushed up, but he resigned.”</p> + +<p>Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening +confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was +too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting spell that +she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come +to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness.</p> + +<p>As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To +go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace +unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered. Yet to explain it +under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation of this +interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, +ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span>When Nora came she found +her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness.</p> + +<p>After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, Bettina +began to long to get away—quite, quite away into another +world—before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this +one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such +matters as required immediate attention and decision. She could not +refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to +herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see +what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She +had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there +was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the +mournful interest that attached to her mother’s grave.</p> + +<p>She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his +request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she +was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She +also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he +could make his plans to do so.</p> + +<p>The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. +There were numerous business <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span>matters which she had to be consulted +about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate +which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for +reform, and revived in her her ardent longing to have a hand in these +reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away +heart-sickened.</p> + +<p>There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly’s relations which had to +be received, an ordeal that would have tried Bettina sorely had it +not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation of +Horace Spotswood’s character, nature, actions, interests, habits, +etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had +never had one instant’s doubt of the truth of every word contained in +that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these +people and draw forth the manifestations of their delight at having +Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this +fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their +ardent appreciation of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal +dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors.</p> + +<p>Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left +alone to the mingled sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as +mistress of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span>Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished +as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she +was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with +them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be +borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing +forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held +in the great world.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina was writing in the library one morning when her attention was +arrested by the sound of an approaching footstep. The next moment a +servant announced,</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>At this name she started violently. So long accustomed to associate +it with one person, she forgot for the instant that another bore it +now. As she rose, startled and expectant, through the portière held +back by the servant there entered a man whose sharp dissimilarity to +the image in her mind made her catch her breath.</p> + +<p>The next second she knew that it was Horace, and realized that she +was trembling from head to foot. The breadth of the room was between +them, for he had paused just within the door, nodding to the servant +to withdraw.</p> + +<p>He stood there an instant in silence.</p> + +<p>Perhaps she was no more startled by the surprise which the sight of +him occasioned than <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span>was he at the sight of her; but the quality of +the surprise was different. It was her beauty, her so far more than +recollected beauty, which had arrested him and held him spellbound. +He had left her sick with grief about her mother, the color faded +from her cheeks, her eyes dulled with weeping. There had been, +moreover, in her expression an apathy which his ardent words had +failed to do away with. Besides these inherent things, the extrinsic +points were glaringly a contrast to the present ones. Then her +somewhat too slight figure had been dressed in gowns of village make +and fit, and her lovely hair had been carelessly wound up, without +regard to fashion or effect.</p> + +<p>Now he saw confronting him a woman whom nature had endowed with a +rare beauty, and for whom art had also done its best in the matter of +outward adornment. True, she was clad in plain unrelieved black from +head to foot, but no other costume could have so exquisitely +displayed her glowing loveliness of coloring or the pure correctness +of her outlines.</p> + +<p>During the few seconds in which they stood looking at each other she +had perceived also a great change in him. It was of a very different +character, but it made all the more a strong appeal <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span>to her, for he +was mysteriously aged. Not only had the Eastern sun turned to bronze +the once ruddy hues of his skin, but he had also lost flesh, and his +hair was getting streaks of gray in it. His figure, too, was sparer, +but it looked more powerful than ever; and still more apparent was +the added look of strength in the familiar and yet subtly altered +face.</p> + +<p>There was no pause long enough to be embarrassing before he spoke.</p> + +<p>“I hope you will excuse me,” he said (and, oh, the voice was altered +too, unless she had forgotten that rich, vibrating tone in it!), “for +coming upon you so suddenly. I know I should have given warning, but +I had what I think a sufficient reason for not doing so. I am hoping +earnestly that you will agree with me when you have heard it.”</p> + +<p>“Pray sit down,” said Bettina, speaking mechanically, and from the +mere instinct of observance of ordinary forms. She had no sooner +spoken than she remembered that it was his own house, of which she +was doing the honors to him. If he remembered it also, he gave no +sign, for he took the chair she indicated, with the conventional +“Thank you” of an ordinary visitor.</p> + +<p>Bettina also had sunk into her chair, and sat <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span>quite still, with her +white hands clasped together on the dense black of her dress. She +could not speak, yet she dreaded lest, in the silence, he might hear +the beating of her heart. Its soft thuds were plainly audible to her, +and all the blood from her cheeks seemed to have gone there.</p> + +<p>“In any event, I should have been obliged to come to England soon,” +said her companion, “but I should have put it off longer had I not +felt it important to come on your account.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s eyes expressed a questioning surprise.</p> + +<p>“On my account?” she said, vaguely.</p> + +<p>“Certainly,” was the prompt, decided answer. “The only responsibility +which comes near to me in my new and strange position is that of +protecting the honor and credit of the name I have assumed. These, +you will excuse me for saying, have been seriously, I may even say +shamefully, disregarded by the terms of the late Lord Hurdly’s will.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s eyes had still that vague and puzzled look. She had not the +least comprehension of what he meant. Could he be resenting the fact +that, so far as it was practicable for him to do so, his cousin had +disinherited him? But no, that was impossible. As she remained silent +and expectant, he went on:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p><p>“Since he chose to disregard the duty and dignity of his position, it +is for me, who must now bear his name, to repair that wrong so far as +it is in my power to do so. It is for that explicit purpose that I am +now come to speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Still Bettina looked perplexed.</p> + +<p>“I don’t understand exactly in what way the will has displeased you,” +she said. “There was a great deal of it that I hardly took in. But in +any case there is nothing for me to do. As you know, my services have +not been asked, and certainly there is no place for them. I have +nothing whatever to do with the executing of Lord Hurdly’s will. +Indeed, my plans are all made to return to America immediately.”</p> + +<p>“I cannot be surprised at your decision,” he said, with a certain +resentment in his voice which she did not understand. “Certainly it +would be natural for you to wish to shake off the dust of this land +from your feet. But wherever you may choose to live for the future, +it is my duty to see that you live as becomes the widow of Lord +Hurdly, and it is for this purpose that I have hastened to get here +before you should be gone.”</p> + +<p>All was now clear, and with the illumination which had come to her +from these words of his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>the color flooded her pale cheeks. Her first +sensation was of keenly wounded pride.</p> + +<p>“You might have spared yourself such haste,” she said. “If you had +taken the slight trouble to write to me, I could have saved you the +long and hurried journey. So far from wishing to have more money than +what I am legally entitled to, it is my purpose and decision to take +nothing. I have of my own enough to live upon in the simple way in +which I shall live for the future. Did you think so ill of me as to +suppose that I would wish to grasp at more than my husband saw fit to +leave me—or to take money at your hands?”</p> + +<p>It was her instinct of pride which had caused her to use the words +“my husband,” which another instinct at the same moment urged her to +repudiate. But pride was now the uppermost feeling of her heart, and +it supplied her with a sudden and sufficient strength for this hour’s +need.</p> + +<p>“This is in no sense a question between you and your late husband,” +said Horace. (Was there not in him also a certain hesitation at that +word, and did not the same feeling as in her compel him to its use?) +“Nor is it a question between you and me. The obviously simple issue +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span>is what propriety demands as to the manner in which the widow of +Lord Hurdly is provided for. It belongs to my own sense of the +dignity of my position that the late Lord Hurdly’s widow should be +situated as becomes her name and title, and I am determined to see +that this is done.”</p> + +<p>“Determined,” she said, a certain defiance in her quiet tone, “is not +the word for this case. You may determine as you choose, but what +will it avail if I determine not to touch a penny belonging to either +the late or the present Lord Hurdly? You are very careful of the +dignity of your position. I must also look to mine, which you seem +strangely to have forgotten.”</p> + +<p>His expression showed her plainly that these words of hers had cut +deep into his consciousness. A swift compunction seized her heart, +but her pride was still in the supremacy, and enabled her to stifle +the feeling.</p> + +<p>“I have not forgotten it,” he said. “It is because I have been +mindful of the dignity of your position that I have urged this thing +upon you. The conditions of the will need not be generally known if +you will accept the right and proper income, which I wish, above all +things, to see you have. Can you not believe me sincere in my desire +to remove the indignity put upon you by a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span>member of my family, and +the bearer before me of a name and position of which it has now +become my duty to maintain the credit? And can you not believe me +just enough and kind enough to wish to see this done for your sake as +well as for my own?”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s face continued proudly hard. If the gentleness of her +companion’s expression, the kindness of his manner, the delicate +respect of his tones, made any appeal to her woman’s heart, the +all-potency of her pride enabled her to conceal it. But the struggle +between the two feelings at war within her made a desperate demand +upon her strength. She felt that she would do well to put an end to +this interview as soon as practicable. With this purpose she said, +abruptly:</p> + +<p>“I am willing to do full justice to your motives, but they cannot +affect my action. My mind is quite made up. I shall return to America +at once, and there the credit of Lord Hurdly’s name will not suffer +any hurt, since I shall be practically out of the world. Certainly I +shall be forever removed from the world in which his life will be +spent. Do not think that I shall regret it. I shall not. My +experience of your world has shown me that the mere possession of +money, rank, position, influence, is powerless to bring <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span>happiness. I +thought once that if I should come to have these I could get pleasure +and satisfaction from them, but I was wrong. My nature inherently +loved importance and display, but I mistook the unessential for the +essential. If I had had all these external things, together with the +satisfaction of the inward needs, they might have made me happy. In +themselves I have proved them to be worthless.”</p> + +<p>She was compelled to say these words. The intimate knowledge of the +character of her husband which had come to her after marriage made +her long that Horace should know that had she really comprehended the +man as he perhaps had known him all the while, she never could have +become his wife. It was impossible for her to tell him this, but she +caught eagerly at her present opportunity of letting him know that +she had had no duty toward her late husband beyond the mere formal +obligation of her wifehood. She could not bear Horace to think that +she had loved him. Even now, under the softening influence that death +imparts, that thought was intolerable to her. This was quite aside +from his treatment of her in his will, which, indeed, was strangely +little to her. It was the memory of the crafty and common nature +under that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span>polished exterior that made her recoil from the thought +of him now.</p> + +<p>If this feeling was strengthened by the contrast of the personality +now present to her gaze, how could she be blamed? Surely the man who +stood before her might have seemed to answer any woman’s heart’s +desire as lover, companion, friend. How her conscience smote her for +the doubts she had once had of him! When she remembered whose +treachery it was that had created these doubts, there was hate in her +heart.</p> + +<p>She did not wish him to see the expression of this feeling in her +face, so she rose abruptly and turned from him. As if he understood +her, he rose also, and crossed the room to the desk at which she had +been seated on his entrance.</p> + +<p>Here were heaped papers and memoranda connected with the Kingdon Hall +estates. Evidently he recognized their character, for he said:</p> + +<p>“At least you have not refused to give me the help that I asked. I’ve +been talking to Kirke, and he tells me you have been taking an +interest in the affairs of the tenants. Thank you for this.”</p> + +<p>In an instant the bitterness in Bettina’s heart was changed into a +new and softer emotion. She saw the opportunity of effecting now what +she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span>had been so powerless to effect in the past. Forgetting +everything else, she came quickly to his side and took up one of the +papers. This was in her own handwriting, and was a memorandum of some +length. She held it away from him a moment, her face flushing, and a +look of hesitation showing on it.</p> + +<p>“I never intended that you should see this,” she said. “I began it +long ago, and had to put it by; but recently I have taken it up +again, without really knowing why, except that all my whole heart was +in it.”</p> + +<p>“What is it?” he asked. “I beg you to let me see it.”</p> + +<p>“No,” she said. “It is not my affair, and I must remember that. It +concerns some most deplorable facts which I have discovered +concerning the management of the Kingdon Hall estates, but—”</p> + +<p>“Then it is my affair,” he interrupted her; “and since you know what +these abuses are, and have looked into them, you surely will not +deprive me of the help that you could give. I ask it as a favor.”</p> + +<p>Still Bettina hesitated, but he could see that she was longing to +comply. He could imagine, also, what it was that held her back.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p><p>“Not as a favor to me,” he hastened to add; “I appeal to you in the +name of these poor tenants, who have been so long neglected and +abused. This is no new thing to me. I have seen it going on from the +time I was a boy here, and I can truly say that almost the only +pleasure that I have looked forward to in succeeding to the estates +has been the righting of these wrongs. Surely you will not refuse to +help me to do this.”</p> + +<p>For answer, Bettina turned upon him a pair of ardent eyes that swam +with tears.</p> + +<p>“Oh, are you really going to do this blessed, glorious thing?” she +said. She had forgotten herself for the moment, and was thinking only +of them—the wretched beings whose wrongs had so long oppressed her, +and who, it seemed, were to have justice and care and kindness at +last. “You don’t know how hideous the condition of these poor +creatures is, and how impossible it has been for me to do anything in +the past. To think there is some one who will let me tell about it at +last and give the help that is so needed! But you can do nothing with +such a steward as Kirke. His heart is as cold as ice.”</p> + +<p>“Kirke shall go at once. I have long believed that he was unworthy of +the position he holds. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>If you will give me the benefit of your +investigation and insight into the situation you will save me much +trouble, and you can also feel that these poor people will be that +much nearer to having their distress relieved.”</p> + +<p>At these prompt, determined words her heart swelled, and again tears +brimmed her eyes.</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank God that you will help them!” she said. “Now that I am +sure of that, I can go away contented. It would have broken my heart +to leave them so—yet I had not dared to hope that I could do +anything. You have no idea of the extent of it. It will take a great +deal of money to give them new houses, proper sanitary conditions, +and all the things they need.”</p> + +<p>“Never mind that—only tell me what to do.”</p> + +<p>“But <i>can</i> you do it? I know how comparatively limited you are as to +money.”</p> + +<p>“Comparatively only,” he said, reassuringly. “I have much less than +my predecessor had, but fortunately I have little pride and simple +tastes. I can let the place in Leicestershire, where the hunting is +good, and I can also lease the town house if necessary. Pray consider +that the question of money is disposed of. I assure you that does not +enter into it.”</p> + +<p>Thus invited, Bettina sat down before the desk, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span>while he took a seat +near by, and with the papers before her she went fully into the +questions at issue, showing a grasp of the situation which soon +testified to her companion that she had studied it to some purpose. +All the changes which she recommended were approved, but more than +once his attention was diverted from the purpose of the future to an +indignant contempt for the delinquencies of the past. It was hard for +him to constrain himself to silence as to this, but Bettina thanked +him in her heart for the successful effort which he made. She was too +abject in her sense of compunction for her own past to feel inclined +to severe judgment of another, and in her joy that these cherished +plans of hers were to be immediately realized she was able to put by +for the moment more personal trouble. She spoke with a fervor that +made her beautiful face wellnigh adorable in its kind compassion, and +when she would describe the wrongs and hardships of these poor simple +folk her eyes at times would fill with tears of pity and her voice +would tremble.</p> + +<p>She knew it not, but in this hour she was making a new revelation of +herself to Horace, which answered to the need of his maturer nature +as marvellously as the Bettina of old had satisfied the needs of the +ardent young fellow that he was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span>then. If he remembered that Bettina +only as being beautiful and beloved, he saw in this one a far nobler +and more perfect beauty, as he recognized in her qualities more +worthy to command love.</p> + +<p>Here they were alone together, in a mood of extraordinary openness +and sincerity, for they were thinking the same thoughts of +helpfulness to others, and there was not an atom of the embarrassment +of their personal relationship to come between them now. It was not +singular, therefore, that he, for his part, should have longed to +speak to her, heart to heart, of that mysterious thing which had +divided them, and to tell her that, in spite of all—in spite of +facts that had been flaunted before his eyes in society, in the +public prints, and everywhere—he had never quite succeeded in +stilling a small voice in his soul which had continued to declare +that the young girl to whom he had so passionately given his love was +less fickle and unfaithful than these facts had shown her to be. Now, +more than ever, this insistent voice repeated itself. How he longed +to ask her the simple question! But then came common-sense, and +demanded, What question? Was there any question which he could ask +her to which the fact and conditions <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span>of her marriage to Lord Hurdly +were not a final answer?</p> + +<p>As for Bettina, she had also her longings to take advantage of that +interview, when they were speaking together in such friendly +converse, by telling him of the letter of confession which she had +received, but pride here took the place of common-sense, and bade her +to be silent.</p> + +<p>They had gone over all the papers together now. There was no longer +any excuse for lingering. He had given and repeated his assurances +that all these abuses which she so lamented should be remedied, and +she had thanked him again and again. Both felt that the time to part +had come. And yet both felt an impulse to postpone it. It was her +consciousness of this feeling which now made Bettina act. There was +an influence from his very presence which alarmed her.</p> + +<p>“I must go now,” she said, her voice a shade unsteady.</p> + +<p>“No, it is I who am going,” was the answer. “I return at once to +London, as I have neither the right nor the desire to intrude upon +your privacy. I wish to say, however, that I do not accept your +decision as to your future income. I beg you to give my wish, my +earnest request, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span>your consideration. I shall write to you. Perhaps I +can put the case more clearly so. At all events, I shall try.”</p> + +<p>Bettina shook her head.</p> + +<p>“You will simply waste your time,” she said. “Nothing can change me +from my purpose of going at once to America, with no income but my +own little inheritance, and taking up my old life there.”</p> + +<p>The word inheritance had suggested to both of them the thought of her +mother. They saw the consciousness in each other’s eyes.</p> + +<p>“How can you take up your old life there,” he said, “when the +presence which made its interest, its very atmosphere, is gone? It is +enough to kill you—and you will not have money to live elsewhere.”</p> + +<p>The keen solicitude in voice and eyes could not be mistaken. It was +evident that he cared for what she might suffer—what might +ultimately become of her. The thought was rapture to her starved and +lonely heart.</p> + +<p>“I must bear it,” she said, trying to control her voice as well as +her face. “Life will be no harder to me there than elsewhere.”</p> + +<p>“You are wrong. In no other spot on earth will the loss of your +mother so oppress you. I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>know what that has been to you, by my +consciousness of what that possession was. And remember one thing, +which gives me some right to speak to you as I am doing now—I loved +your mother and she also loved me.”</p> + +<p>At these words and the tones that accompanied them Bettina’s strength +gave way. She dropped back in the seat from which she had risen, and, +hiding her face in her hands, burst into tears.</p> + +<p>She could not see the effect of her weeping on the man, who still +stood motionless and erect before her. She did not know that the +tears sprang into his eyes also, and that the whispered utterance of +her name was on his lips.</p> + +<p>He heard it, however, though she did not, and the knowledge that he +had lost control of himself made him turn away and walk to the other +end of the room.</p> + +<p>When he had stood there a few seconds, with his back turned, he heard +her voice, somewhat shaken, though with the accent of recovered +self-possession, saying, in a tone of summons,</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly—”</p> + +<p>An inward revolt sprung up at being so addressed by her. The name had +only sinister associations for him in any case, but to hear it <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>from +Bettina’s lips filled him with a sort of rage.</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly,” she said again, and this time her voice had gained in +steadiness, until it sounded mechanical and hard.</p> + +<p>“I wish to express to you,” she said, when he had drawn a little +nearer, “my thanks for your kind intentions concerning me. I can only +repeat, however, that my decision is quite fixed, and that I shall +carry out the plans I have made known to you. Do not urge me further. +Do not write to me. It will be useless. Let me go back to the life +from which you never should have taken me. You were mistaken in me +from the first, and I have been nothing but a trouble and a +hinderance to you. I am sorry. I ask you to forget it all if you can. +But, above all things, I ask, if you would really help me and serve +me in the one way in which I can be helped by you, that you will +consider that the present moment closes our intercourse in every way, +and will show me the respect, little as I deserve it, of proving to +me that in this one instance, at least, you believe me capable of +acting with rectitude and dignity, and of meaning what I say.”</p> + +<p>He did not answer her. He only stood profoundly still and looked at +her. That gaze, the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>searching, scrutinizing power of it, made her +afraid. Trembling with terror of what she might reveal in answer to +it, she turned suddenly and vanished through a door behind her, +leaving him standing there, and with a consciousness that his keen +eyes were on her yet, reading what she so ardently desired to +conceal.</p> + +<p>Once in her own room, she locked the door, and then ran swiftly to +the window, which gave her a view of the terrace below.</p> + +<p>There she saw waiting a hired trap, with its driver drowsing in the +sunlight. As she looked, she saw the man from whom she had just +parted come rather slowly down the steps and get into the shabby +conveyance. His hat-brim hid the upper part of his face, but she saw +the stern set of his jaw, the bronzed pallor of his cheeks.</p> + +<p>She watched the little trap until it had disappeared behind some +great oaks, which were one of the glories of Kingdon Hall. In a +strange way she had come to love this stately old place, and it gave +her a pang to feel that she was about to look her last on it. This +feeling, however, was subordinated to another, which literally tore +her heart; this was that, by the use of every means of thought and +action within her power, she had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span>quite determined never to run the +risk of seeing this man again.</p> + +<p>She knew that her only safety lay in flight, and she set to work at +once to make her preparations to fly.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>n the days that followed, Bettina’s only resource was in bodily +activity. She wrote at once and took her passage on a steamer to sail +for America one week from the day of Horace’s visit. Then, with +Nora’s help, she set to work to do her packing. The French maid was +sent away, and her lady refused all other offers of service.</p> + +<p>Her first impulse had been to leave all her wardrobe and personal +belongings behind her, and this she would undoubtedly have done but +for the counteracting instinct to remove from any possibility of the +sight of the future occupant of these apartments any smallest +reminder of the late Lady Hurdly. No doubt another bearer of that +name would soon be installed in them, and to her the least reminder +of the beautiful Bettina who had once so strangely come to it would +naturally be offensive.</p> + +<p>With this thought in her mind, she eagerly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span>helped Nora to collect +and pack away every trace of her ever having lived here. One record +of the fact it was out of her power to remove, and this was the +full-length portrait of her, in all the state and magnificence of her +proud position, which hung in the picture-gallery, and which Horace +had never seen. Neither had he ever seen her in such a guise, and, in +spite of her, there was a certain exultation in her breast when she +imagined the moment of his first beholding it. Another moment, +equally charged with mingled pride and pain, was the anticipation of +the time when the next bearer of the name and title should come to +have her portrait hung there. No Lady Hurdly who had come before +could bear the comparison with her, and she knew it. Was it not, +therefore, reasonable to believe that those who followed her might +suffer as much by the contrast?</p> + +<p>But these feelings of satisfaction in the consciousness of her +appropriateness to such a setting as Kingdon Hall were only +momentary, and many of those busy hours of work were interspersed +with lonely fits of weeping, when even Nora was excluded from her +mistress’s room. The good creature, who had never been burdened with +mentality, went steadily on with her work <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span>and asked no questions; +yet it was not unknown to her that Bettina’s unhappiness depended not +altogether upon the fact of her recent widowhood, or even upon the +disastrous consequences of it in her future life.</p> + +<p>Two or three times Nora had brought to her mistress letters in a +handwriting which she had not forgotten, and although she made no +sign of suspicion, she did connect these letters with Bettina’s +unhappiness.</p> + +<p>Certainly it was no wonder that such letters as she received from +Horace now should have so desperately sad an influence on her. In +them he begged, argued, pleaded with her to grant him this one +request, even using her mother’s name to touch and change her. +Indeed, there was a tone in these letters that she could scarcely +understand. Keenly conscious as she was of the injustice of which she +had been guilty toward him, it seemed incredible that he could so +ignore it as to manifest any personal interest in her on her own +account. She even felt a certain regret that he could so lose sight +of this flagrant fact. It had come to be a vital need to her to have +the ideal of Horace in her life. It was now almost more essential to +her to have something to admire than something to love. Under these +conditions <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span>she felt a certain sense of disappointment in him, that +he could seem to forget the deep wrong she had done him. And yet, in +utter contradiction to this feeling, his kind ignoring of it soothed +her tortured heart.</p> + +<p>She sent no answer to these letters. She even hoped that by taking +this course she might make the impression on him that she did not +read them. This was her design and her consolation, even while she +read and re-read them with a devouring eagerness. She never paused to +ask herself why this was. She avoided any investigation into her +feeling for Horace. It was enough that, in spite of all the +self-accusation and self-abasement which she carried in her heart, +this being who knew the very worst of her could still think her +worthy of kindness and respect. When she thought of this she felt as +if she could go on her knees to him.</p> + +<p>One fear was constantly before her mind, and that was that he might +seek a personal interview with her again. She dared not trust herself +to this, instinctively as she longed for it. It was, therefore, with +positive terror in her breast that she heard one morning from Nora +that Lord Hurdly was in the house, having come down by train from +London.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p><p>“I cannot see him—I will not!” she cried, in an impassioned protest, +which only Nora could have seen her portray.</p> + +<p>“He did not ask to see you,” said Nora. “I met him in the hall, and +he told me to say to you that he required some papers which were in +the library, and that he would, with your permission, like the use of +the room for a few hours. He told me to say that he had had luncheon, +and would not disturb you in any way.”</p> + +<p>At these words Bettina felt a sinking of the heart, which was her +first consciousness of the sudden hope she had been entertaining. +This made her reproach herself angrily for such weakness and want of +pride, and with this feeling in her heart, she said, abruptly,</p> + +<p>“There is no answer to Lord Hurdly’s message.”</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” said Nora, hesitatingly, “but I am quite sure he +is expecting an answer.”</p> + +<p>“I say there is no answer,” Bettina repeated, with a sudden +sternness. “Lord Hurdly is in his own house. He can come and go as he +chooses. His asking permission of me is a mere farce.”</p> + +<p>Nora ventured to say no more, and withdrew in silence, leaving her +mistress alone with the consciousness that Horace was in the very +house <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span>with her, and that at any moment she might, if she chose, go +to him and tell him all the truth.</p> + +<p>And why did she not? That old feeling between them was quite dead. +She had a right to clear herself from a condemnation which she did +not deserve—a right, at least, to make known the palliating +circumstances in the case. In any other conceivable instance she +would not have hesitated to do so. What was it, then, which made it +so impossible in this instance?</p> + +<p>The answer to this question leaped up in her heart, and so struggled +for recognition that she had an instinct to run away from herself +that she might not have to face it. She wanted to close her eyes, so +that she might shut out the truth that was before her mental vision, +and to put her hands over her ears, that she might not hear the voice +that clamored to her heart.</p> + +<p>Surely a part of this feeling was the compunction which she felt for +having wronged him. That she might openly acknowledge. But that was +not all. She was aware of something more in her own heart. Even that +she might have stifled, and, supported by her pride, might have +concisely told him of the error under which she had acted. But there +was still another thing that entered in. This was a faint, delicious, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span>disturbing, unacknowledged to her own heart, suspicion about Horace +himself. He had said nothing to warrant her in the belief that his +anxiety about her future was anything more than the satisfaction of +his own self-respect, but her heart had said things which she +trembled to hear, and there was a certain evidence of her eyes. In +leaving her the other day—or rather at the moment of her hurried +leaving of him—he had looked at her strangely.</p> + +<p>That look had lingered in her consciousness, and without effort she +could recall it now. In doing so her cheeks flushed, her heart beat +quicker. She felt tempted to woo the sweet sensation, and by every +effort of imagination to quicken it into keener life, but the +seductiveness of this temptation terrified her.</p> + +<p>She started from her seat and looked about her. How long had she sat +there musing—dreaming dreams which every instinct of womanly pride +compelled her to renounce? She wondered if he had gone. Once more +came that mingled hope and fear that he might seek an interview with +her before leaving. The hope was stronger than ever, and for that +reason the fear was stronger too.</p> + +<p>A footstep in the hall arrested her attention, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span>and she stood +palpitating, with her hand upon her heart. It passed, leaving only +silence; but it had been a useful warning to her. Suppose, in her +present mood, Horace should make his way to her sitting-room and +knock for admittance. Would she—could she—send him away, with her +heart crying out for the relief of speech and confession to him as it +was doing now?</p> + +<p>With a hurried impulse she caught up a light wrap of dense black +material, and passed rapidly into the hall. Her impulse was to go out +of doors, to get away from the house until he should have left it; +but in order to do this from her apartments, she must pass by the +library, and this she feared to do. So she changed her purpose, and +stepping softly that no one might hear her, she entered the long +picture-gallery, and closed the door behind her with great care to +make no noise. Many of the blinds were closed, but down at the far +end where her picture hung there was some light, and with an +impulsive desire to look at this picture, with a view to the +impression that it might make on Horace when he should see it, she +glided noiselessly down the room toward it.</p> + +<p>The full-length portraits to right and left of her loomed vaguely +through the half-light. She <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span>glanced at each one as she passed slowly +along, with the feeling that she was taking leave of them forever. In +this way her gaze had been diverted from the direction of her own +portrait, and she was within a few yards of it when, looking straight +ahead of her, she saw between the picture and herself the figure of a +man.</p> + +<p>He stood as still as any canvas on the wall, and gazed upward to the +face before him. Bettina, as startled as if she had seen a ghost in +this dim-lighted room, stood equally still behind him, her hand over +her parted lips, as if to stifle back the cry that rose.</p> + +<p>And still he stood and gazed and gazed, while she, as if petrified, +stood there behind him, for moments that seemed to her endless.</p> + +<p>Presently she saw his shoulders raised by the inhalation of a +deep-drawn breath, which escaped him in an audible sigh. The sound +recalled her. Turning with a wild instinct of escape, she fled down +the long room, her black cape streaming behind her, and vanished in +the shadows out of which she had emerged.</p> + +<p>Somehow, she never knew how, she let herself out into the hall, and +thence she sped through the long corridor, down the stairs, past the +open door of the vacant library, and out into the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span>grounds. She met +no one, and when at last she paused in the dense shadows of some +thick shrubbery, she had the satisfaction of feeling that she had +been unobserved. Here, too, she was quite secluded, and in the effort +to collect herself she sat down on the grass, her knees drawn up, her +forehead resting on them, her clasped hands strained about them.</p> + +<p>How long she remained so, while her leaping heart grew gradually +calmer, she did not know.</p> + +<p>A sound aroused her from her lethargy. It was the clear whistle of +some one calling a dog. She knew who it was before a voice said,</p> + +<p>“Here, Comrade—come to me, sir.”</p> + +<p>The voice was not far off, but the shrubbery was between it and her. +She would have felt safe but for the dog. She did not move a muscle.</p> + +<p>The footsteps were drawing near her, and now bounding leaps of a dog +could be heard also. Both passed, and she began to breathe more +freely, when what she had dreaded came. The dog, stopping his +gambols, began to sniff about him. The next moment he had bounded +through the shrubbery and was yelping gleefully at her side.</p> + +<p>Instantly she sprang to her feet and stood there, slight and tall and +straight in her long black <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span>wrap, the image of pallid woe. All the +blood had left her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified.</p> + +<p>It was so that she appeared to the man who, parting the branches of +the thick foliage, stood silent and surprised before her. She might +have been the very spirit of widowhood, so desolate she looked.</p> + +<p>Raising his hat automatically, he said, in a strained, unnatural +voice, “Can I do anything for you?”</p> + +<p>She tried to speak, but speech eluded her.</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said, “but can I do anything for you, Lady +Hurdly?”</p> + +<p>Oh, that name! She had had an instinct to free herself at last from +the burden she had borne, and to tell him, in answer to his question, +that he could do this for her—he could hear her tell of the wretched +treachery by which she had been led to do him such a wrong, and of +the misery of its consequences in her life. But the utterance of that +name recalled her to herself. It reminded her not only who she was, +but also who and by what means he was also.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo5" id="Illo5"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 328px;"> +<img src="images/i176.jpg" class="jpg ispace" width="328" height="500" alt="“THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD”</span> +</div> + +<p>“Leave me,” she said, throwing out her hand with a repellent gesture. +“I have gone through much, and I am not strong. If you have any +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span>mercy, any kindness, leave me to myself. It is not proper, perhaps, +that I should ask any favor of you, but I do. I beg you not to speak +or write to me again until I have done what must be done here, and +gone away from this place and this country forever.”</p> + +<p>There was an instant’s silence, during which Comrade nestled close to +her and tried to lick her hand, all the time looking longingly at +Horace. Then a voice, constrained and low, said, sadly: “I will grant +your favor, Lady Hurdly. What of the favor I have asked of you?”</p> + +<p>“I cannot. It is impossible,” she cried. “Surely I have been +humiliated enough without that. It is the one thing you have in your +power to do for me, never to mention that subject again.”</p> + +<p>“I shall obey you,” he said; “but in return I ask that you will not +forget my request of you, though you have forced me to silence. While +a wrong so gross as that goes unrepaired I can never rest. Remember +this, and that you have it in your power to relieve me of this +burden. Now I will go.”</p> + +<p>He turned and vanished through the shrubbery, Comrade after him.</p> + +<p>Bettina sank upon the ground, covering her face with the long drapery +of her cape. Suddenly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span>she felt a touch. Her heart leaped, and she +uncovered her head, showing the light of a great hope in her eyes.</p> + +<p>But it was only Comrade, nestling close to her, with human-eyed +compassion. She threw her arms around him, and pressed her face +against his shaggy side.</p> + +<p>“Did he send you to me, Comrade,” she whispered, “because he knew +that I was miserable and alone?”</p> + +<p>The gentle creature whined and wagged his tail as if in desperate +effort to reply.</p> + +<p>“I know he did! I know he did!” she cried. “Oh, how kind and good and +unrevengeful he is! And I can never tell him the truth. I can never +tell that to any human being, Comrade, but I’ll tell it to you.” She +drew his head close to her lips and whispered a few words in his ear.</p> + +<p>Then she sprang to her feet, a great light in her eyes, as she threw +her arms upward with an exultant movement, and cried, as if to some +unseen witness up above, “I have said it!”</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">A</span>fter this Bettina went about her preparations for departure with a +spirit of calm and collectedness which came from the knowledge of +herself, which she had at last fully accepted. Hundreds of times in +these last few days her mother’s words had come back to her: “The day +will come when you will know what you are incapable even of imagining +now—what is the one perfect love and complete union that can ever be +between two human beings.... Test the world, if you will—and your +nature demands that you shall test it—but you will live to say one +day: ‘My mother knew. My mother’s words have come true.’”</p> + +<p>It was even so. She knew now, at last, and the knowledge had come to +her when inexorable necessity compelled her to separate herself +forever from the man who, not suddenly, but by a system of gradual +evolution—from the crude emotions of her girlhood through the +growing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>consciousness of later years—had now manifested himself to +her as all her heart could desire, all her spirit could crave, all +her mature womanhood could need. She realized that he had long been +this to her, but with a thick veil between herself and him which had +hid the truth from her. The reading of the letter given her by Mr. +Cortlin had torn that veil apart, and she saw him as he was, the man +of her ideal. She did not, at the same moment, see her own heart as +it was. This vision had come to her with her renewed intercourse with +Horace, who had appeared before her now the ripe product of the noble +possibilities which she had vaguely perceived in him once, when she +had cared too little to think deeply of him in any way.</p> + +<p>Oh, to have kept the place she had once had at his dear side! To have +shared with him the privations of a life that would have been narrow +and obscure indeed compared with the one which she had known in its +stead, but, oh, how rich in the way she had now come to count riches!</p> + +<p>Thoughts like these she had to fight against. Perhaps in the end they +would conquer, and would hunt her to the death; but now, until she +could get out of the country, she must put them down.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p><p>She had only a few days left, and she determined to devote a part of +these to some farewell visits among the tenants. As far as she had +been able to do, she had made friends with these poor folk, and had +given what she could to relieve their necessities; but, in comparison +with what was needed, the money at her command had seemed pitifully +small.</p> + +<p>When Lady Hurdly, dressed in her deep widow’s mourning, descended the +steps of her stately residence and entered the waiting carriage, +whose black-liveried servants saluted her respectfully, she had a +consciousness that servants and tenants alike must feel a certain +commiseration for the great lady, such as they had known her, now +sunk to poverty as well as obscurity. This feeling made her manner a +little colder and prouder then usual as she sat alone in the sunshine +of a lovely autumn morning and was driven between the beautiful +English hedgerows and through the fertile fields which she had +learned to love. How soon would all be changed for her! And changed +to what? The isolated exile of a place filled with the haunting +memories of the past—her mother, whom she had lost forever, and her +young lover, who was as absolutely lost to her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span>Strangely to herself, it was the latter that she felt to be the +keener pain. To the former she was reconciled; as we do, sooner or +later, reconcile ourselves to the inevitable; but the supreme sting +of this other grief was that she felt it need not have been. Sitting +there in her carriage, the object of much eager attention, she felt +so desolate and wretched that it was with difficulty that she kept +back her tears.</p> + +<p>She dreaded the ordeal before her. She felt that she must take leave +of these people and say a word of kindness to them, since she was so +miserably unable to do more; but these visits were always depressing. +Since the tenants had discovered that they had a sympathetic listener +in her, they had luxuriated in the pouring out of their sorrows. Of +course they had not ventured to accuse her husband of being connected +with them, but the lesson was one that he who ran might read.</p> + +<p>So, when the carriage stopped at the door of the first cottage, she +had made up her mind that she could not stand much in the way of +these miserable confidences to-day, and would make her visits short.</p> + +<p>But when she entered the house she was conscious of a total change of +atmosphere. Every <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span>creature in the room gave proof of this, according +to his or her kind. The old woman who sat knitting by the hearth +looked up at her with a dim twinkle in the eyes that had heretofore +expressed nothing but a consciousness that things were bad and +getting worse; and the children, who, indeed, had taken little count +of the depression of their elders, now manifestly shared their relief +from it. It was their mother who, with a strange smile of hope on her +careworn face and a fervent clasping together of her work-worn hands, +made the explanation to the visitor.</p> + +<p>But this explanation, when it had been heard, was almost more of an +ordeal to Bettina than the one which she had feared. Certainly it +made a stronger demand upon her power of self-control. For the +key-note of it all was Horace. He had been here before her, and had +done, or promised to have done, all that she had so passionately +wished to do. His name was on their lips continually; even the little +children lisped it. It was “his lordship this” and “his lordship +that,” in a way that furnished a strange contrast to the studied +avoidance of the word under former conditions.</p> + +<p>Somehow, glad as she was, it was hard for Bettina to bear. In the +midst of the accounts <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>of what his lordship had done and said, and +how he was to right all their wrongs and make everybody happy, she +got up and took a hurried leave.</p> + +<p>What was the use of her staying here? What was a little sympathetic +feeling, more or less, to these wretchedly poor creatures? It was +their material needs that they wished satisfied, and a stronger hand +than hers was at work on these. And if—as seemed so plain, as she +could so well imagine from her own knowledge of him—he was able and +willing to give them the sympathy and interest as well as the +practical help they needed, where was any use for her? There was +none—nobody needed her, she told herself, desperately, and the +sooner she lost herself in the oblivion of America the better.</p> + +<p>Each cottage that she visited showed the same metamorphosis in its +inmates. A lame boy to whom she had once given a pair of crutches had +a new wheel-chair, and the crutches were thrown in a corner. A sick +child for whom she had bought some prepared food, which it had not +been able to take, had been sent off to a hospital for regular +treatment, and its poor mother was enjoying the first rest of many +years, with a consciousness that the child was better off than it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span>could possibly be with her. An old man who had been long bedridden, +and to whom she had sent some clean bedclothes, had been moved into +another room with complete new furnishings, while the occupant of +this room had been sent elsewhere, so that the distressing sense of +over-crowdedness for sick and well was entirely gone from the house.</p> + +<p>In almost every cottage that she visited she saw the same evidences. +How pitiful her own efforts seemed beside these! What was heart +compared with hand? What was sympathy compared with money? And was +she so sure that she gave even the sympathy? She felt in her breast +now no sense of pity for their suffering, no consciousness even of +rejoicing in their relief. The only feeling there—and it seemed to +fill her whole heart—was pity for her own numb, gnawing +wretchedness, for which there could be no relief.</p> + +<p>When the last hurried visit was ended, she drove home, completely +unnerved. Her black veil was lowered before her face, and though she +sat erect and composed to outward seeming, the tears rained down her +cheeks.</p> + +<p>Her remaining days at Kingdon Hall were spent in a state of such +listlessness and inertia that Nora began to fear that she was going +to be ill. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span>She urged her mistress to send for the doctor; but, for +answer, Bettina burst into tears, declaring that she was not ill, and +begging Nora to do everything for her that was necessary to get her +off on the steamer on which she had taken passage, as she felt unable +to do anything herself.</p> + +<p>How the intervening hours passed she never knew; but, as if taking +part in a dream, she went through them all, and at last found herself +settled in her state-room, with Nora to take care of her, and no one +to spy on her or notice what she did. Asking Nora, as piteously as a +child, to help her to undress, she went to bed, and from that bed she +did not rise until the ship had touched another shore, and the +breadth of the world lay between herself and Horace.</p> + +<p>How glad she would have been to lie there and sail on forever, freed +from her responsibility to the future, as she was from that to the +past!</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was when Bettina was a matter of three hours out at sea that Lord +Hurdly arrived at Kingdon Hall, and, on being admitted, ordered the +servant to say to Lady Hurdly that he wished to see her. His surprise +was great when the man informed him that Lady Hurdly had that day +sailed for America.</p> + +<p>Dismissing the servant, he went to the library and shut himself up +there alone. How strangely was this house altered to him in one +moment’s time! Just now he had felt a presence in it which had made +every atom of it significant. Now, how dead, empty, meaningless, it +had suddenly become!</p> + +<p>The effect of this change was almost startling to him, and for the +first time he had the courage to face himself and to demand of his +own soul an explanation.</p> + +<p>He was a man of a peculiarly uncomplex nature. When, on meeting +Bettina, he for the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span>first time fell deeply in love, he had looked +upon the matter as a finality, and he had never ceased so to regard +it. When she deserted him, without giving him a chance to speak, he +had, in the overwhelming bitterness of his heart, forsworn all women. +It had never occurred to him to put another in Bettina’s place. For a +long time a passionate resentment possessed him. When he knew that +Bettina had married his cousin, this resentment had had two objects +to feed upon instead of one; but at first the bitterness of his anger +against the being in whom he had supremely believed greatly +outweighed that against the being in whom he had never believed. Lord +Hurdly had never had it in his power to wound and anger him as +Bettina could. So, when he got transferred from St. Petersburg to +Simla, it was with the instinct of removing himself as far as +possible from Bettina. Of the other he scarcely thought.</p> + +<p>When, however, the first consternation of the sudden blow was over, +and he grew calm enough to be capable of anything like temperate +thought, he tried to imagine how this strange state of things had +come about.</p> + +<p>Obviously Bettina must have sought Lord Hurdly out, and it was almost +certain that she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span>had done this with a view to mediating between him +and his offending heir. He recalled her having said, more than once, +that she intended to win him over, and he pictured to himself what +had probably transpired in the fulfilment of her plan. Lord Hurdly, +who was notoriously indifferent to women, saw in Bettina a new type, +and, as consequent events proved, became possessed of the wish to +have her for his wife. This being so, he had probably not scrupled as +to the means to this end. Gradually, from having held Bettina chiefly +guilty, Horace began to feel that it was quite possible that she had +been less so than the artful and determined man, who had undoubtedly +brought to bear on her all the wiles of which he was master.</p> + +<p>What the wiles were, how unscrupulously they were employed to effect +any end that he had in view, Horace was now more than ever aware.</p> + +<p>And every fresh revelation of them tended to soften him toward +Bettina. He was in the habit of trusting his instincts, and these had +as determinedly declared to him that his cousin was false. On his +return to England, after Lord Hurdly’s death, both of these instincts +had found ample confirmation. The more he looked into the affairs of +his predecessor, in his relations to his tenants, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span>his family, his +lawyers, and the world at large, the more did his mistrust and +condemnation of him deepen, while, as for Bettina, it took little +more than the impression of his first interview with her to restore +almost wholly his old belief in her truth and nobleness.</p> + +<p>On the basis of her having been deceived by Lord Hurdly about him, he +could forgive her her marriage. Where would her desolate heart have +turned for comfort? And he knew her nature well enough to realize +that what Lord Hurdly had to offer might have seemed likely to serve +her as a substitute for happiness. He knew, moreover, that Bettina +had never loved him in the sense in which he had loved her, and this +fact made his judgment gentler.</p> + +<p>As he stood there alone, in the great house, strangely empty now that +her rich presence was removed from it, he wished with all his heart +that he had gone to her, and forcing her to look at him with those +candid eyes of hers, had said: “Bettina, tell me the truth. Why did +you do it?” Oh, if he only had!</p> + +<p>Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might +have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of +such a speech, or she might have given him to understand <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span>that what +appeared true was really true—namely, that his cousin’s splendid +offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to +hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The +thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and +career quite apart from her.</p> + +<p>This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had +satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to +Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had +given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew—her own mother had +avowed it to him—that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the +same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart. +What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the +emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers +was breaking in its loneliness.</p> + +<p>But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his +eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory out +of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and +decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to +consider her, both heartless and false!</p> + +<p>Fortified by the bitter support of this conception <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span>of her, he left +the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the +complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed +swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long +picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish +portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what +feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before +that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might +ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that +he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the +gracious image and walked away.</p> + +<p>It was not long, however, before he found himself in Bettina’s own +apartments. These he remembered well, and in the main they were +unchanged. Yet what a subtle difference he felt in them! Here on this +great gloomy bed had that poor orphan girl slept, or else lain +wakeful in the dread consciousness which must have come to her when +once she realized the nature and character of the man to whom she had +given herself in marriage. Here in this stately mirror had she seen +herself arrayed in the splendid clothes which were the poor price for +which she had sold her birthright. He stood <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span>and looked at himself in +the mirror, with an uncanny feeling that behind his own image there +was that of the beautiful Bettina, whom once he had thought to +protect forever by his love and strength and tenderness, and who now, +with only a hired servant, was alone in the great shipful of +strangers, on her way to the loneliness of that empty little village +which her mother’s presence had once so adequately filled for her.</p> + +<p>He went to the wardrobe and opened the door, hoping to find some +trace of Bettina. But no; all was orderly and void. Then he passed on +to the dressing-table and opened the drawers, one by one. In the last +there lay a small hair-pin of fine bent wire. He had an impulse to +take it, but, with a muttered imprecation on his folly, he called to +aid his recent resolution, and hastily left the room.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had been in her old home a week—long enough to recuperate +from her journey and begin to take up her life, such as it was to be. +She would gladly have relaxed entirely and lain in bed to be waited +on and tended by Nora, had this been possible. But she had wearied of +the physical rest, which only made her mental restlessness the +greater, and she had an impulse to reach out her empty hands so that +somehow, somewhence they might be filled.</p> + +<p>The neighbors had called on her promptly, but she could not see them. +They reminded her too much of the mother she had lost. Mr. Spotswood +had also called, but he was a reminder of the other loss, now the +more poignant of the two. When she excused herself to him also he +wrote her a note—the conventional thing, and that merely. It seemed +strangely lacking in the solicitude and affection which she had a +right to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span>expect from her old friend and rector. Bettina was struck +with this, and instantly there flashed over her a reason for it. It +was only natural that he should feel a certain resentment of her +jilting of one of his cousins, even though she had done it in favor +of another and more important one. She remembered that the rector had +been extremely fond of Horace, and at this thought she had a sudden +desire to see him. So she wrote him a note and asked him to come.</p> + +<p>It was so long since she had talked with any one, and she was so +nervous after all her morbid imagining, that she was feeling utterly +unlike the old self-reliant, active-minded girl he remembered when +the rector entered the room. She also, on her part, was unprepared +for the feelings aroused by the sight of him; and when he came in, +his grave face and gentle manner so entirely unchanged, in contrast +to all the changes she had undergone, Bettina felt a sudden tendency +to tears. The thought of her mother also helped to weaken her, and +the thought of Horace was a still harder strain on her endurance.</p> + +<p>She saw a certain constraint in his manner first, as she had +perceived it in his note. She felt unaccountably hurt by it, and when +he took her hand a little coldly and inquired for her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>health, a rush +of feelings overwhelmed her and she burst into tears.</p> + +<p>In evident surprise, the visitor tried to soothe her as best he +could. Naturally supposing that this grief was in consequence of her +recent widowhood, he pressed her hand, and said, gently:</p> + +<p>“I trust you are not overtaxing yourself by seeing me, my child. If +you had preferred not to do so I should not have misunderstood. Your +bereavement is so recent that—”</p> + +<p>But Bettina, trying to silence her sobs, interrupted him.</p> + +<p>“Oh, forgive me, Mr. Spotswood,” she said. “I had not thought I +should break down like this. I have been perfectly calm. It is not +what you suppose. Oh, I feel so wretched, so lonely, so bewildered! I +would give the world if I could speak out my heart to one human +being.”</p> + +<p>The rector looked surprised, but visibly softened.</p> + +<p>“To whom may you speak if not to me, Bettina?” he said. “Surely, +whatever trouble is on your heart, you may count upon my sympathy.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not speak. With her face hid in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span>her pocket-handkerchief +she shook her head, as if in dissent from the idea of his sympathy.</p> + +<p>Feeling rather helpless, he changed his tactics, in an honest +endeavor to get at the real cause of her trouble.</p> + +<p>“Naturally, my child,” he said, “the sight of me brings back the +thought of your beloved mother. Such a sorrow—”</p> + +<p>But again she interrupted him, this time by a silent gesture of the +hand. Then she said:</p> + +<p>“It is not that. I’ve got used to that ache, and although my heart +would not be my heart without it, that is a silent and accepted +sorrow now. Oh, Mr. Spotswood,” she said, impetuously, uncovering her +tear-stained face and looking at him with the helplessness of a +child, “you are a clergyman; you teach that God is love and +compassion and forgiveness; you have a kind heart! I know you have. +Perhaps if I could tell you all I have suffered, and how deeply I +have repented, you would be sorry for me, and not blame me as much as +I deserve to be blamed.”</p> + +<p>She was looking at him tentatively, as if to see how far she could +trust to the forbearance of which she felt she had now such need.</p> + +<p>The rector’s heart was deeply touched. This <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span>show of humility in the +high-spirited, self-willed girl that he remembered took him by +surprise.</p> + +<p>“It could never be my impulse to blame you, my dear child, and the +less so when I see how bitterly you are blaming yourself for this +unknown thing. If you will tell me about it, I will do all that may +be in my power to help you. At all events, you may count upon my +loving sympathy.”</p> + +<p>“Ah, if I only could! It would be much to me now. But you are +ignorant of what you are promising. In a certain way it concerns +yourself, or at least a member of your family.”</p> + +<p>She saw a slightly hardened look come into his face, but it quickly +gave way to a gentler one.</p> + +<p>“No matter what it is, if you have suffered and repented, the best +sympathy of my heart is yours.”</p> + +<p>“You will regard it as a confidence—a sacred confidence?” said +Bettina. “I could only tell you with that understanding. I know that +a clergyman is accustomed to keeping the secrets of his people, and I +could not say a word unless I were sure that this thing would rest +forever between you and me.”</p> + +<p><a name="Illo6" id="Illo6"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 379px;"> +<img src="images/i199.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="379" height="500" alt="“‘TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY’”</span> +</div> + +<p>Wishing to soothe her in every possible way, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span>the rector gave her his promise to keep sacred what she might tell +him; and thus reassured, poor Bettina opened her heart. The relief of +it was so exquisite and the experience was so rare, that she told it +all with the abandonment of a child at its mother’s knee, and with a +degree of self-accusation that might well have disarmed condemnation, +as indeed it did.</p> + +<p>Up to the time of her meeting with Horace in England, she kept back +nothing, describing with absolute truth her feelings as well as her +conduct. When she had reached that point, however, a sense of +instinctive reserve came to her, and a few brief sentences described +what had happened since.</p> + +<p>At the end of her recital she paused, looking eagerly into the +rector’s face, as if she both hoped and feared what he might say.</p> + +<p>“Truly, my child, it is a wretched story,” he began, as if a little +careful in the choosing of his words, “but the knowledge of it has +deepened instead of lessened my sympathy for you. Your fault has been +very great, but so is your sense of compunction; and as far as +suffering can expiate, surely you have done much to atone. My own +knowledge of the character of the late Lord Hurdly was such that I +cannot pretend to be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>greatly surprised at what you have told me +concerning him. I regret to say it, but justice must be done to the +living as well as to the dead. The present Lord Hurdly will prove, I +trust and believe, an honor to the name. My intercourse with him has +been comparatively limited, but no young man has ever inspired me +with a stronger sense of confidence. So much do I feel this that I +will confess to a strong desire that he should know upon what ground +you acted toward him as you did. I have given my word to you, +however, and perhaps it is as well. That poor man so lately gone to +his account has stains enough upon his memory without this added one. +And when I think of Horace—what he has suffered through the +treachery of his kinsman—I feel that it is perhaps kindest to him +also to leave this dark secret in the oblivion which buries it in our +two hearts.”</p> + +<p>Bettina seemed not to hear his last words.</p> + +<p>“He has suffered? You think he has suffered, and through me?”</p> + +<p>“Is it possible that you can doubt it?”</p> + +<p>“He gave no sign,” began Bettina, hesitatingly.</p> + +<p>“To you—certainly not. How could he?”</p> + +<p>“Did he to you?” she said, breathlessly.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span></p><p>The rector looked at her with a sort of sad scrutiny, and was silent +a moment. Then he said:</p> + +<p>“He wrote me one letter—the most brokenhearted expression of +suffering I have ever read. It was before your marriage, when he +still had some slight hope that you had mistaken your own feelings, +in the statement of them which you had made in your letter to him. +But then came the announcement of your marriage, since which time +your name has not been mentioned between us.”</p> + +<p>“Did you keep that letter?” she said.</p> + +<p>“I did.”</p> + +<p>“Will you let me see it?”</p> + +<p>“I am afraid I cannot properly do that.”</p> + +<p>“I beg that you will, Mr. Spotswood. You would be doing me a very +great favor, and for your cousin’s sake also I think I may venture to +ask it. I was told that he was ‘fickle and capricious, incapable of a +sustained affection,’ and much more in the same line. I should be +truly glad to know that this was false.”</p> + +<p>“I can give you my word for that.”</p> + +<p>“But you can give me also his word, if you will,” she said, +beseechingly. “Oh, my dear, dear friend, I too have suffered, and I +believe <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span>that what I have endured is the worst of pain, for it comes +from the knowledge of wrong to another. You cannot take away that +pain, but perhaps you can restore to me a lost ideal. I had come to +think that there was no such thing as love—real love—in the world; +to believe not only that the man who had professed it for me was +false in that profession, but that it really did not exist. Let me +see that letter. It is an impersonal thing to me now, but I feel that +it would strengthen me for all my future life. I am going to try to +be good; indeed I am,” she said, her lips trembling like a child’s. +“If I feel that that letter would help me, why may I not see it?”</p> + +<p>The rector hesitated visibly; then he said:</p> + +<p>“You shall see it, Bettina. I cannot feel that it will do any harm, +and it will be an act of justice, perhaps, to him as well as to you. +Whoever represented him to be lacking in depth of feeling has done +him a wrong indeed. I had no need to have this proved to me, but if +there be such a need in any breast, the reading of this letter must +do away with it.”</p> + +<p>In a few moments he rose to take leave, having promised to send the +letter to her.</p> + +<p>“Will you send it at once?” she asked. “May Nora go with you and +bring it back?”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span></p><p>In the stress of her feeling she forgot the impression that her +eagerness might make; but it had not been lost upon the rector, who +pondered all these things in his heart as he went homeward.</p> + +<p>When he had given the letter to Nora, and she had taken it to her +mistress, he wondered if he had done well. Bettina had not pretended +that she had really loved the man to whom she had first engaged +herself. The preoccupied interest and affection which she had given +him then were not misrepresented in her confession to the rector, and +she had been absolutely silent as to her subsequent and present +feeling toward him. All that she said, the whole burden of her song, +was that she had so wronged him in that past time; never once had she +hinted at the possibility of any renewal of relations between them.</p> + +<p>In spite of all this, the rector knew Bettina well, and he recognized +the fact that she was under the dominion of some larger and deeper +feeling than he had ever known her to have except her affection for +her mother. And had even that, he asked himself, so permeated her +whole being—mind, soul, and character—as this feeling in which he +now saw her so absorbed? He answered that it had not. It was, +therefore, taking a certain responsibility <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span>upon himself to show this +letter. But he was acting in the interest of truth and justice, and +he could not find it in his heart to regret what he had done.</p> + +<p>Temperate, judicious, deliberate as the rector was in all his mental +processes, he could not imagine that any result could come from the +course which he had taken, except some very remote one. Bettina had +shown plainly her determination never to divulge to Horace the +contents of Mr. Cortlin’s letter; he was under promise to keep the +secret also, so there was no ground upon which the intercourse +between them could be renewed. Besides this, Bettina was but recently +become a widow. The proprieties of the situation demanded absolute +seclusion for a year at least, and, in Mr. Spotswood’s consciousness, +propriety was supreme. He never took count of the fact that +conventions could be disregarded by any right-minded person, and to +this extent at least he conceived Bettina to be right-minded.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">T</span>he reading of that letter from Horace to the rector was a crisis in +Bettina’s life. Its effect upon her was singular. When she eagerly +took in those pages filled with such anguish as possesses the heart +but once or twice in a lifetime, the consciousness that it was she, +Bettina, who had created such a love in the heart of the man that +Horace Spotswood was to her now, so exhilarated her that she was +capable of but one feeling—exultation. To have had this love, though +now she had it not, seemed to glorify her life. To have caused him +such sorrow—how greatly he had cared! In spite of all there was +rapture in it!</p> + +<p>That mood was followed by one of intense regret—an excoriating +self-accusation that made her spirit writhe before her own bar of +justice. Then, by degrees, when there came a moment of comparative +calm, she forced herself to recognize the fact that it was the +Bettina of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span>the past who had been so loved, and that the man who had +so loved her was that youthful and impulsive Horace. Was not the +present Bettina, the slightingly treated widow of his cousin, a very +different being—as different as was the present Lord Hurdly from +that old and outgrown other self? Surely the change in both was +great—a change which she construed as absolutely to her own +disadvantage as it was to his advantage.</p> + +<p>Yet, in spite of this, that letter brought a strange strength to her +heart. Since it was now so plain that he had so truly, so +worshippingly loved her, she felt a summons to her soul to be her +highest possible, to overcome the slothful and the evil in her, and +live as it became the woman who had been so loved by such a man. +Above all, she longed to make her life avail for the good of others, +that she might make it a thank-offering for what she had received in +the knowledge that had come to her through that letter.</p> + +<p>For, after its perusal, she knew that never again could she entertain +the doubts which had so often filled her mind at the thought of the +complete silence in which Horace had accepted her rejection of him. +Sometimes she had fancied <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span>that it might have been a relief to him—a +way out of a difficult situation; but now forever in her heart she +could carry the proud consciousness that she had been as passionately +loved as she had been desperately regretted.</p> + +<p>It was a strange source, perhaps, from which to draw strength, but it +availed her now. With a sudden renewal of the energy of her youth she +began to look about her for work which she might do. Fortunately the +rector was ready with practical, immediate employment for heart and +hand, and pocket, too, alas! for now the fact was forced upon her +consciousness that she was poor. It would be as one of themselves, +only somewhat different in degree, that she must help these suffering +ones, and, in spite of being hampered by this limitation, there was a +certain sweetness in it. Her work among the poor had begun at Kingdon +Hall, and there she had been often baffled by the sense of the +difference between herself and those whom she wished to help. She +knew that this consciousness was in their hearts as well as in hers, +and that it made an impalpable but positive barrier. But now and here +all was different. She longed for the money that would have enabled +her to do so much more, and yet she felt it, somehow, sweet to be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span>as +they. Her consciousness of her own past wrong-doing had so penetrated +her soul with humility that she was like a totally different being.</p> + +<p>She had said nothing to the rector of her determination not to touch +the money that her late husband had left her, but she strictly +adhered to this resolve. It was impossible. She simply felt she could +not. She found no difficulty in forgiving him for all that he had +done. She was too tender-hearted to bear malice toward the dead, but +she could not touch his money. Since she had once thought about +it—receiving food and clothes and comforts from his hands—she had +realized that it was an impossibility. She knew that the money was +deposited in bank for her, but there it might remain. She had told +Horace that she would not touch it, and he should see that she would +keep her word.</p> + +<p>Then came a thought that made her smile. He had wished to force upon +her the acceptance of a larger sum, because it was not proper that +Lord Hurdly’s widow should live otherwise than in pomp and +circumstance. If he could see her now! This it was that made her +smile.</p> + +<p>She had shut up all the house except the rooms on the first floor, in +which she and Nora lived alone. She kept no other servant, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>this +economy it was that enabled her to give to others. She had almost no +personal wants, and the income which had sufficed for her mother and +herself was more than enough for her alone. A little sting of injured +pride there had been at first, when her poverty became apparent to +the neighbors, who naturally expected her to enlarge rather than +curtail her expenses; but she soon got the better of this. The issues +of her life were in a wider field than mere neighborhood comment, +and, besides this, her friends and associates were now chosen chiefly +from the class who were too ignorant for such comment and +speculation.</p> + +<p>For Bettina had thrown herself with a passionate fervor into the work +which her hands had found to do. The one assuagement for the pain in +her own heart seemed to be the alleviation of the pain in other +hearts. She felt, also, a sense of thankfulness for the knowledge +which had come to her through the rector, which made the whole work +and service of her life seem all too little for her to give in return +for this boon. As for Horace, her feeling for him was akin to +worship. It was he who represented to her henceforth the ideal which, +like a fixed star, should give light to her path, though so +immeasurably far above her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span></p><p>What a strange life was this into which she had now entered! She felt +the certainty that her courage would be sufficient for it, but with +all her resolution she could not always keep back the bitter tears of +her wordless, hopeless, uncontrollable longing. At times this was a +thing so mighty that she had the feeling that, if her body were only +as strong as her spirit, she would be able to swim through those +thousands of watery miles that separated them, only to tell him the +truth, and then lay down her life at his feet.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was one of Bettina’s weary days. Its hours had lagged and dragged +until the evening had come, and she had sunk down, exhausted and +depressed, in a big old-fashioned chair in front of her wood fire, +which seemed the only ray of cheerfulness within or without. She had +had these feelings before, and she knew that they would probably +pass, but never before had it been so borne in upon her that life was +sad and wretched alike for those whom she was trying to help and for +her who was so in need of help herself—little as they dreamed it. +Were they worth helping, those poor evil-environed creatures who so +continually disappointed her hopes and efforts? Was she worth +helping, either—weak, aimless creature that she was—who had vowed +to be content in the mere consciousness that Horace lived, and that +he had once supremely loved her, and then again and again had fallen +into this hopeless discontent <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span>which thirsted so for what she had +pledged herself to give up—the possession of that love to satisfy +the present hour’s need?</p> + +<p>She lay back in the big deep chair, her white hands loosely grasping +its arms, and her white lids lowered. Now and then a tear would +trickle from beneath those lids and a slight contraction of pain +would move her lips. Any one looking in upon her so might well have +wondered where were the friends and companions of this beautiful, +lonely woman, shut into this small room, in the silence of a twilight +that hung damp and gray outside, and that the smouldering fire +lighted but fitfully within, while the low murmur of flames fitfully +broke the silence.</p> + +<p>Not a sound escaped her lips. She gazed longingly, sadly into the +glowing heart of the fire, and saw visions and dreamed dreams, but +not pleasing ones; they only served to make her sadness deeper.</p> + +<p>Presently the door opened, and Nora came in with the lamp. Glancing +at her mistress, who did not move, the woman then went out and +brought a small tea-service on a tray.</p> + +<p>“Don’t light the kettle yet, Nora,” said a low voice from the depths +of the chair. The speaker did not move; her manner was that of a +person <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span>who deprecated the least noise or intrusion, and Nora took +the hint and silently put down the tray. Then, in the same dull tone, +her mistress said:</p> + +<p>“I know you want to go to church. Go. I can make tea for myself when +I want it.”</p> + +<p>Nora, in comprehending silence, left the room.</p> + +<p>Still the relaxed figure in the chair moved not. The fire whiffed and +crackled now and then, but beyond this there was no sound. The +lamplight showed more plainly the fair youth and loveliness of that +black-clad form, which never, in its most brilliant days, had looked +so exquisite as now, when there was none to gaze upon its beauty or +to share its solitude. The hands were ringless, for Bettina had taken +off her wedding-ring after the reading of the letter which the lawyer +had brought her, and with it she had renounced the last vestige of +allegiance to her late husband’s memory. There was no bitterness in +her heart toward him. Simply he existed not, as though he had never +been.</p> + +<p>Vaguely she heard the sound of Nora’s departure, as the door was +closed behind her, and still she sat there wordless, motionless, +almost breathless as it appeared, for her bosom scarcely seemed to +move.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p><p>Presently there came two tears from under the closed lids; then +quickly others followed them. The sense that she was freed even from +the danger of Nora’s observation weakened her more and more. Then +with the helpless, whispering tones of an unhappy child, she said:</p> + +<p>“My God, how desolate I am! How can I bear it? How long must it +endure?”</p> + +<p>Still she did not move except to raise her lids and cast upward her +tear-drenched eyes, while she caught her lower lip between her teeth.</p> + +<p>Suddenly there was a step upon the piazza—a man’s step, as if in +haste. She started and sat upright. Who could it be? No man except +the rector ever visited her, and this was not the rector’s step. She +hastily brushed away the traces of her tears and sat listening.</p> + +<p>Then came a tap at the door—not loud, but firm, distinct, decided. +It sounded strange to her, unlike the tap of any messenger or servant +who had ever come to her house.</p> + +<p>She got up, leaving the door of the sitting-room open that the light +might enter the dark hall.</p> + +<p>Then, most unaccountably, a sense of fear, very unusual to her, +seemed to possess her. She stood still a moment in the hall and +waited.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span></p><p>The knock was repeated, so near this time that it made her start. She +was not naturally a timid woman, but she felt a sense of physical +fear which was totally unreasoning. What harm was likely to come to +her from such a source? She compelled herself to go forward and open +the door.</p> + +<p>It was very dark outside, and she vaguely distinguished the outline +of a tall man standing before her. The light from the open door at +her back threw out her figure in distinct relief, and it was evident +that she had been recognized, for a voice said, in low but distinct +tones,</p> + +<p>“Lady Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>She gave a cry and pressed both hands against her breast, sharply +drawing in her breath. Then she took a few steps backward, throwing +out one hand to support herself against the wall.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” said the well-known voice—the voice out of all the +world to which her blood-beats answered. “I have come on you too +suddenly. I ought to have written and asked permission to call. I +should have done so, only I feared you might deny me.”</p> + +<p>Somehow the door was closed behind them and they had made their way +into the lighted <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span>room. Bettina, still pale and breathless, began to +murmur some excuses.</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon; I was frightened. Nora had gone out, and I was +all alone. I did not know who it might be. I never have visitors, and +I was afraid to open the door.”</p> + +<p>He was looking at her keenly.</p> + +<p>“You should not be alone like this,” he said, both resentment and +indignation in his tone. “Why do you never have visitors? Why did +Nora leave you? Where are the other servants?”</p> + +<p>“There are no others. There is only Nora,” she said, recovering +herself a little. “I let her go to church to-night. I am not usually +afraid. Why should I be? Perhaps I am not very well.” As she uttered +these incoherent sentences she sank into a chair and he took one near +her.</p> + +<p>The expression of his face had changed from anxiety to a stern +sadness.</p> + +<p>“And you live alone like this,” he said, “without proper service or +protection? And, in spite of all that I could say and do, you will +not take the miserable pittance which is your own, and which is +wasted there in the bank, where it can avail for no one? Do you think +this is right to yourself—or kind to me?”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span></p><p>The quiet reproach of his tone disturbed her.</p> + +<p>“I do not mean to be unkind,” she said, her voice not quite steady, +“and indeed I have all that I need. Nora has more than time to attend +to me, and as for company, it is because I do not want it that I do +not have it.”</p> + +<p>“And you think you can live without companionship?” he said. “You +will find you are mistaken; but of that I have no right to speak. +There is one subject, however, on which I do claim this right, and it +is the fulfilment of this purpose which has brought me to America.”</p> + +<p>“You came all this way to see me?” she said, lifting her brows as if +in gentle deprecation. “You were always kind.” Her voice broke and +she said no more.</p> + +<p>“It is not a question of kindness,” he said. “It is a matter of the +simplest right and duty. Will you hear me? Are you able to hear me +to-night, or shall I come again to-morrow?”</p> + +<p>“Speak now,” she said. “I am perfectly well, and am ready to hear +whatever you may have to say.”</p> + +<p>Her voice gave proof of a recovered self-control. The necessity of +making this a final interview between them was borne in upon her, and +sitting very still and erect, with her hands <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span>clasped tightly +together, she waited to hear what he might say.</p> + +<p>“Your leaving England so suddenly,” he began, “was, as I need not +say, a disappointment to me. I had hoped to change your mind and +purpose concerning the acceptance not only of money which is your own +by legal right, but of such as is also yours by every rational law of +possession. It was to me an insupportable idea that you should go +away without the means of living as becomes your rank and station.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, with a rather chill smile, shook her head.</p> + +<p>“Rank and station I have none,” she said. “I have money enough to +live as becomes my mother’s child; that I am, and no more. It is the +only bond to the past which I acknowledge. The name and title which I +bore a little while were never mine in a real and true sense. I do +not care to speak of it; it is all past; but the very fact that your +cousin saw fit to leave me with what you call a mere pittance shows +that he felt the distance, the lack of union, between us, as I felt +and feel it.”</p> + +<p>It was a relief to her to say this much. He could gather nothing from +it, and she wanted him to know that she had freed her soul from +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span>every vestige of its bondage to the man whom she chose to designate +as his cousin rather than by any relationship to herself—even a past +one. This point did not escape him.</p> + +<p>“It is with humiliation that I receive your reminder that that man +was, in flesh and blood at least, akin to me,” was the answer; “and +for that reason I have felt it to be my duty to make whatever poor +reparation may be in my power for the evil that he has done.”</p> + +<p>He spoke with extreme seriousness, and there was a tone in his last +words which conveyed to Bettina the suspicion that they referred to +something more than any act of Lord Hurdly’s which had heretofore +been mentioned between them.</p> + +<p>She waited, therefore, in some agitation to hear what his next words +should be.</p> + +<p>“I shall have to ask your forgiveness,” he said, “for touching upon a +matter which might well seem to be an impertinence on my part. The +necessity is forced upon me, however, and I shall be as brief as +possible, if you will be good enough to listen.”</p> + +<p>Bettina answered merely by a bend of the head.</p> + +<p>“As long as I can remember,” he began, “I have had a certain +instinctive distrust of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span>late Lord Hurdly. It grew with my +growth; but I never thought it proper, under the then existing +circumstances, to give expression to it. As time went on, observation +confirmed instinct, and it became evident to me that he was a man of +powerful will, and was more or less unscrupulous in the attainment of +its ends. After his death, in going into the affairs of the estate, +and various other matters which came under my observation, I found +that the truths laid bare before me revealed him as a far worse man +even than I had imagined. It was a revolting manifestation in every +sense; but even when those matters had been closed up—when I +supposed that I was done with the man and aware of the worst—a +revelation was made to me which, though of a piece with the rest, and +no worse in its essence and kind, came home to me with a +thousandfold intensity, from the fact that it nearly concerned both +myself and you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s heart beat wildly. She dared not look at him, and with an +instinct to protect herself from betrayal at every cost, she said, in +a voice which was so cool and calm that the sound of it surprised her +as it fell upon her ear:</p> + +<p>“Go on. Explain yourself.”</p> + +<p>She had taken up a paper from the table and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span>was using it as if to +screen her face from the fire, but she managed to get somewhat in the +shadow of it, so that her companion had only a partial view of her +features and expression. In this position, with her eyes bent upon +the fire, her countenance was wholly inscrutable to him. There was a +moment’s silence before he continued.</p> + +<p>“How far the explanation is necessary,” he said, “I do not know. I am +aware that you received a sealed letter, through Cortlin, from a man +named Fitzwilliam Clarke, who is now dead. What that letter contained +is your own affair. I also received a letter from the same source and +by the same hand. It is of the revelation contained in that letter +that I am come to speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina hardly knew whether she was waking or sleeping. The +astounding suddenness of the consciousness which had come to her now +seemed to stun both her body and her mind. She made no sign, however, +as she sat absolutely still, and her companion went on.</p> + +<p>“The letter to you was delivered, you remember, before my return to +England. The interval which elapsed before the delivery of the letter +to me—which occurred scarcely more than a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span>week ago—was due to the +fact that Cortlin had been instructed to put each of these letters +into the hands of none but the man and woman to whom they were +addressed. In the second instance he was prevented by illness from +the prompt performance of his duty. He has had a long and serious +attack of fever. As soon as his condition of health permitted he sent +for me and put the letter into my hands, telling me that he was +ignorant as to its contents, but that a letter from the same source +had been delivered to you by him immediately after the death of the +scoundrel whose treachery had betrayed you into a marriage with him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina could not speak or look at him. The thoughts which were +seething through her brain were too confused for speech. One thing, +however, was quite clear to her. The resentment that this man so +fiercely manifested was for her sake, not his own. His anger was an +impersonal thing. He had a manly and chivalrous nature, and the mere +fact that her mother had once committed her into his keeping would +constitute a strong claim on such a nature. He was outraged that a +countryman and kinsman of his own could so villanously have duped +her. As for his own wrongs in the matter, he apparently <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span>did not +consider these. For all consciousness of them in his words and tones +they might never have existed.</p> + +<p>While these thoughts were passing through her mind, he had risen, and +was pacing the floor with restless strides. Now he paused in front of +her and said:</p> + +<p>“I trust it may not seem to you that I did wrong to come to you and +tell you of the revelation that had been made to me. I have done it +in the belief that the letter which you received conveyed the same +information. May I be allowed to know if this is true?”</p> + +<p>Bettina bent her head, but said no more.</p> + +<p>“Then I feel myself justified in having come,” he said, in a tone of +relief. “If I could have known you ignorant of the infamous wrong +that was done you, by the unscrupulous means used to beguile you into +a marriage which must so have tortured and humiliated any woman, I +might have kept silent. It might perhaps have been best to omit from +the list of the wrongs you must have suffered this crowning infamy of +all. But since it seemed certain that you knew it, and since it had +doubtless been the reason of your refusing to touch the money which +was so rightfully your due, and of your leaving the country <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span>where +this great wrong had been done you, I could not rest until I had +spoken. I could not still the longing to give you a certain solace +which I hoped it might be in my power to give. I knew how sad and +lonely you were. I had written to the rector and asked for tidings of +you.”</p> + +<p>“You had? He never told me,” she said, wonderingly.</p> + +<p>“I particularly bound him not to do so; but I did write more than +once, and got his answers. In that way it came to me that you were +unhappy—courageously and unselfishly, yet profoundly so, and it was +not difficult for me to comprehend the reason. You will forgive me +for going into a dead and buried issue for this once; but I knew your +nature, and it was obvious to me that you were torturing yourself +because you felt that you had done a wrong to me.”</p> + +<p>Bettina caught her breath suddenly, and covered her face with her +hands.</p> + +<p>“Is it not so?” he said.</p> + +<p>But she could not speak. The shrinking anguish of her whole attitude +was her only answer.</p> + +<p>Then he took the seat nearest her, and said:</p> + +<p>“It is with the hope of lifting this totally unnecessary <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span>burden from +your mind that I have come. I beg you to have patience with me while +I speak to you quite simply and tell you why you would be doing wrong +to blame yourself on my account. For this once I must ask you to let +me speak of the past—not the recent past—let us consider that in +its grave forever—but the remote past, in which for a short while I +had a share. I, too, have my confession to make and pardon to beg, +for I am conscious that I wronged you, though it was through +ignorance, youth, inexperience, and also—forgive me for mentioning +it, but it is my best justification—also because I loved you, with a +love which I was then too ignorant even to comprehend. I needs must +beg you to remember that, in owning my great wrong to you. This +wrong,” he continued, after an instant’s pause, “consisted in my +urging you to marry me when you did not love me. I feared it was so, +even then; but I was selfish; I thought of myself and not of you. +When the whispered misgiving would rise up in my mind I forced it +down by vowing that if you did not already love me I could and would +make you do so. When the blow fell, and I knew that I had lost you, I +knew that my selfishness in thinking chiefly of my own happiness had +been properly rewarded. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span>At least this was the feeling that possessed +my heart after the first. You were young, confiding, inexperienced. I +knew better than you possibly could know that you did not love me. +Later, you knew it also.”</p> + +<p>He waited, as if for her response. From behind her close-pressed +hands the answer came.</p> + +<p>“Yes,” she said, lowly, “I have long known that it was a mistake on +my part. You are right. I did not love you.”</p> + +<p>Had she been looking, she would have seen a shadow cross his face—a +very faint one, as the hope that it obscured had been faint also.</p> + +<p>“Therefore,” he said, “I took advantage of you, and obtained from you +a promise which I should never have asked. I want you to feel that I +realize the wrong I did you in that, and ask your forgiveness for +it.”</p> + +<p>Slowly she lowered her hands and looked at him.</p> + +<p>“And you can ask forgiveness of me?” she said.</p> + +<p>“I humbly beg it—as on my knees.”</p> + +<p>“Then what should be my attitude to you?”</p> + +<p>“The proud and upright one of never having done me any conscious +wrong.”</p> + +<p>“But when I left you, rejected you, threw you off—”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span></p><p>“That was not done to me, but to the man you supposed me to be—the +man who had been proved to you a scoundrel, by such proof as any one +would have deemed you mad to doubt.”</p> + +<p>She looked at him somewhat timidly.</p> + +<p>“You are generous indeed,” she said.</p> + +<p>“I am no whit more than just. You were absolutely warranted in such a +course toward me. What I long to do—what I have crossed the world in +the hope of doing—is to get you to forgive yourself, to free +yourself of a hallucination which is casting a needless shadow on +your life.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you are good—good!” she said. “I never knew so kind a heart. +Therefore must my unending misery be the greater that I have once +wounded it.”</p> + +<p>“That consciousness should have no sting for you hereafter. You did +it in utter ignorance. I cannot claim that I was half so ignorant in +my wrong toward you. But surely we may remember that we have once +been friends, and so we may feel that there is full and free +forgiveness between us before we part.”</p> + +<p>She did not speak. That last word had pierced too deeply to her +heart.</p> + +<p>“You do forgive me—do you not?” he said, as if he misunderstood her +silence.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span></p><p>“I thank you—I bless you—I seek <i>your</i> forgiveness,” she said.</p> + +<p>At these last words he smiled—a smile that had a certain bitterness +in it. Then suddenly his face became rigidly grave.</p> + +<p>“If I had not given you my forgiveness, long ago,” he said, “I should +like to offer it to you now, at a price. I wish to God that I could.”</p> + +<p>“What do you mean?” she said, a sweet perplexity upon her face. “What +price have I to pay for anything?”</p> + +<p>“Ah, there it is! It may seem brutal of me to put a literal +construction upon what you have used as a figure of speech, but let +the truth come out. You are poor, unprotected, alone, and you ask me +to go and leave you so! God knows it is little enough that I have it +in my power to do, but the possession of money would enable you at +least to live as it becomes you to live. I do not speak of your +title—it is not what you are called, but what you are, that I have +in mind. If you had money, even the small income which I so desire +that you shall accept, your life would be different.”</p> + +<p>But Bettina looked away from him, and shook her head in the gentle +negation which he knew to be so final.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span></p><p>“How would my life be different?” she said.</p> + +<p>“You could make it so.”</p> + +<p>“In what way?”</p> + +<p>“You could travel, for one thing.”</p> + +<p>“I do not want to travel. I desired it once, and I got my wish. But +with it came a wretchedness that all the travelling in the world +could not carry me away from.”</p> + +<p>“Then what is to be your life?”</p> + +<p>“What you see it now. I do not wish to change it for any other. I +have tried the world and its rewards. There is nothing in them.”</p> + +<p>Her tone of absolute, unexpectant decision maddened him.</p> + +<p>“My God, Bettina!” he exclaimed, too excited to notice that the name +had escaped him. “Are you in earnest? Can you mean it? I wish I could +believe that you did not. But there is a deadly reality about you now +which makes me fear that you will keep your word. That you should +spend your life in this isolation, that you—you—”</p> + +<p>He broke off, as if words failed him.</p> + +<p>“What better can I do?” she said. “You must not think of me as idle +and useless. I am going to try not to be that. I have tried a little. +Ask the rector. And I am going to try more. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span>There is but one thing +that I deeply desire, and that is to be a better woman than I have +been in the past. Oh, I will try hard—I will, indeed I will—to do a +little good in the future, to make up for all the harm I have done!”</p> + +<p>She ceased, her voice failing her, and as she looked at the man +standing near her she saw that he was scarcely listening. Some +intense preoccupation made him take in but vaguely what she was +saying. She saw that he was deeply moved in some way, and the +consciousness that this was so gave her a sense of alarm. She felt +her own will weakening, and she knew that somehow she must get this +parting over, if her strength were to suffice for it.</p> + +<p>“Good-bye,” she said, holding out her hand.</p> + +<p>“Don’t be too sorry for me. You have lightened my heart inexpressibly +by what you have told me. Now that I can feel that you know +all—that, wrong and wicked as I was, I was not so false as it +seemed—I can bear the future with courage. I am sure of it. I want +to say good-bye now, because I prefer not to see you again. You would +only try to shake me in a determination that is not to be shaken. +Don’t trouble about me—please don’t,” she added. “I have health and +youth, and these will suffice me for what I have to do.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span></p><p>“Health and youth!” he cried, ignoring her proffered hand, and +throwing his own hands up in a gesture of repudiation. “And what do +these signify in a situation such as yours? They only mean that you +will prolong an existence which, for such a woman as you, seems worse +than death. You ask me to leave you so? To say good-bye—”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I beg it, I implore it, I insist upon it,” she interrupted him, +feeling that her strength was almost gone. “You have said that you +were willing to do me a service—then leave me.”</p> + +<p>She sank back in her chair exhausted.</p> + +<p>“My God! am I a brute?” he said. “Have I made you ill with my idiotic +persistency? I will go. I will rid you of the distress and annoyance +of my presence. But before I go, Bettina,” he said, with a sudden +break in his voice, “I must and will satisfy my heart by one thing: I +must, for the sake of my own soul’s peace, tell you this. I have +never ceased to love you, and I never shall. I gave you up when I saw +the renunciation to be inevitable, but I knew then, as I know now, +that I can never put any other in your place. You were the love of my +youth, and you will be the love of my old age, if my lonely life goes +on till then. Don’t turn from me. Don’t hide your <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span>face like that. I +ask nothing but this sacred right to speak. I know you never loved +me. I know it is not in me—if, indeed, it be in any mortal man—to +enter into the heaven of being loved by you. But, at least, you have +been the vision in my life—the sacred manifestation of what girl and +sweetheart and woman and wife might be—and for that I thank you. In +the shadow of that beatific vision I shall walk henceforth, and +believe me when I say that I shall walk there alone.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, with her face buried in her hands, remained profoundly +still. When he had waited a moment he began to fear that he had +overtaxed her strength too far, and that she might have fainted.</p> + +<p>Kneeling in front of her, he took her two wrists gently in his hands +and tried to draw them away from her eyes. The strong resistance that +she made to this gave evidence enough that she was conscious in every +sentient nerve.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” he said; “I am going—I have been wrong to force all +this upon you—but it is the last time that we shall meet. Let me, I +pray you, see your face once more before I turn away from it +forever.”</p> + +<p>The tense hands relaxed within his grasp, but <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span>he caught no more than +a second’s glimpse of the beautiful face before it was hid against +his shoulder.</p> + +<p>At the same instant a low voice whispered in his ear:</p> + +<p>“Don’t move until I speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Overwhelmed with wonder, he felt the hands which he had grasped now +holding fast his own, that she might compel him to the stillness +which she had commanded. Then the soft voice at his ear went on:</p> + +<p>“You were right in saying that I did not love you—that you would +have urged me into a marriage to which I could not have brought the +true feeling. I did not know it then, but I know it now. And I know +it now because—because—” her voice trembled and her breath came +quick—“because now I do love you. Oh, Horace, better love than this +man could not have or woman give.”</p> + +<p>She ended in a burst of tears, and her exhausted body leaned against +him for support.</p> + +<p>For a moment he felt an amazement so overwhelming that he seemed half +unconscious from the whirling in his brain. Then, as a lightning +flash lights up the whole dark heaven in an instant’s time, the truth +was revealed to him, and, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span>with that consciousness, his arms were +tight about her and his kisses on her lips.</p> + +<p>If he questioned her at all, it was with his spirit, and her answer +came in that ineffable sense of union which fused their souls in one. +For long still moments they rested so, in that embrace, and when they +moved apart and looked into each other’s eyes it was to take up +forever that united life which was to bind them in true marriage.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p>When Nora returned from church she found them sitting quietly before +the fire, the lamp burning brightly under the kettle, from which the +Lady Hurdly that was and was to be had just made tea for her lord.</p> + +<h3>THE END</h3> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> MARY E. WILKINS</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>SILENCE, and Other Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +<span style="white-space: nowrap;">$1 25.</span></p> + +<p>JEROME, A POOR MAN. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1 50.</p> + +<p>MADELON. A Novel. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>PEMBROKE. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 50.</p> + +<p>JANE FIELD. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>A NEW ENGLAND NUN, and Other Stories. 16mo, Cloth, +Ornamental. $1 25.</p> + +<p>A HUMBLE ROMANCE, and Other Stories. 16mo, Cloth, +Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>YOUNG LUCRETIA, and Other Stories. Illustrated. Post +8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>GILES COREY, YEOMAN. A Play. Illustrated. 32mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, 50 cents.</p> + +<p>Mary E. Wilkins writes of New England country life, analyzes New +England country character, with the skill and deftness of one who +knows it through and through, and yet never forgets that, while realistic, +she is first and last an artist.—<i>Boston Advertiser.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Wilkins has attained an eminent position among her literary +contemporaries as one of the most careful, natural, and effective +writers of brief dramatic incident. Few surpass her in expressing the +homely pathos of the poor and ignorant, while the humor of her stories +is quiet, pervasive, and suggestive.—<i>Philadelphia Press.</i></p> + +<p>It takes just such distinguished literary art as Mary E. Wilkins possesses +to give an episode of New England its soul, pathos, and poetry.—<i>N. +Y. Times.</i></p> + +<p>The pathos of New England life, its intensities of repressed feeling, +its homely tragedies, and its tender humor, have never been better +told than by Mary E. Wilkins.—<i>Boston Courier.</i></p> + +<p>The simplicity, purity, and quaintness of these stories set them apart +in a niche of distinction where they have no rivals.—<i>Literary World</i>, +Boston.</p> + +<p>The charm of Miss Wilkins’s stories is in her intimate acquaintance +and comprehension of humble life, and the sweet human interest she +feels and makes her readers partake of, in the simple, common, homely +people she draws.—<i>Springfield Republican.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, to any +part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> RUTH McENERY STUART</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>MORIAH’S MOURNING, and Other Half-Hour +Sketches. Illustrated. 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That will be found in its genuineness, +lighted up as it is by superior intelligence and imagination +and delightful humor.—<i>Chicago Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Mrs. Stuart is a genuine humorist.—<i>N.Y. Mail and Express.</i></p> + +<p>Few surpass Mrs. Stuart in dialect studies of negro life and +character.—<i>Detroit Free Press.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, or +Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> + +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> CONSTANCE F. WOOLSON</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>MENTONE, CAIRO, AND CORFU. 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Her men and women are +not mere puppets, but original, breathing, and finely contrasted +creations.—<i>Chicago Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Woolson is one of the few novelists of the day who know how +to make conversation, how to individualize the speakers, how to exclude +rabid realism without falling into literary formality.—<i>N. 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This book is Miss +Bell’s best effort, and most in the line of what we hope to see +her proceed in, dainty and keen and bright, and always full +of the fine warmth and tenderness of splendid womanhood.—<i>Interior,</i> +Chicago.</p> + +<p>THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF AN OLD MAID.</p> + +<p>So much sense, sentiment, and humor are not often united +in a single volume.—<i>Observer,</i> N.Y.</p> + +<p class="center">16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, Uncut Edges and Gilt Tops,<br /> +$1 25 per volume.</p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, or +Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> MARIA LOUISE POOL</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>THE RED-BRIDGE NEIGHBORHOOD. Illustrated +by <span class="smcap">Clifford Carleton</span>. $1 50.</p> + +<p>IN THE FIRST PERSON. $1 25.</p> + +<p>MRS. GERALD. Illustrated. $1 50.</p> + +<p>AGAINST HUMAN NATURE. $1 25.</p> + +<p>OUT OF STEP. $1 25.</p> + +<p>THE TWO SALOMES. $1 25.</p> + +<p>KATHARINE NORTH. $1 25.</p> + +<p>MRS. KEATS BRADFORD. $1 25.</p> + +<p>ROWENY IN BOSTON. $1 25.</p> + +<p>DALLY. $1 25.</p> + +<p class="center">Novels. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental.</p> + +<p>The author’s narrative gift is as nearly perfect as one +could wish.—<i>Chicago Interior.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Pool’s novels have the characteristic qualities of +American life. They have an indigenous flavor. The author +is on her own ground, instinct with American feeling and purpose.—<i>New +York Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Pool is one of the most distinctive and powerful of +novelists of the period, and she well maintains her reputation +in this instance.—<i>Philadelphia Telegraph.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, +to any part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of +the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> ELIZABETH B. CUSTER</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>FOLLOWING THE GUIDON. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, <span style="white-space: nowrap">$1 50.</span></p> + +<p>The story is a thrillingly interesting one, charmingly told.... Mrs. +Custer gives sketches photographic in their fidelity to fact, and +touches them with the brush of the true artist just enough to give +them coloring. It is a charming volume, and the reader who begins it +will hardly lay it down until it is finished.—<i>Boston Traveller.</i></p> + +<p>An admirable book. Mrs. Custer was almost as good a soldier as her +gallant husband, and her book breathes the true martial spirit.—<i>St. +Louis Republic.</i></p> + +<p>BOOTS AND SADDLES; or, Life in Dakota with General Custer. With +Portrait of General Custer, and Map. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 +50.</p> + +<p>A book of adventure is interesting reading, especially when it is all +true, as is the case with “Boots and Saddles.” ... Mrs. Custer does +not obtrude the fact that sunshine and solace went with her to tent +and fort, but it inheres in her narrative none the less, and as a +consequence “these simple annals of our daily life,” as she calls +them, are never dull nor uninteresting.—<i>Evangelist,</i> N. Y.</p> + +<p>No better or more satisfactory life of General Custer could have been +written.... We know of no biographical work anywhere which we count +better than this.—<i>N. Y. Commercial Advertiser.</i></p> + +<p>TENTING ON THE PLAINS; or, General Custer in Kansas and Texas. +Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1 50.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Custer was a keen observer.... The narrative abounds in vivid +description, in exciting incident, and gives us a realistic picture +of adventurous frontier life. This new edition will be +welcomed.—<i>Boston Advertiser.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, to any +part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the +price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> +<h3><span class="smcap">Transcriber’s Notes:</span></h3> + +<p>1. Minor changes have been made to correct obvious typesetter errors; +otherwise, every effort has been made to remain true to the author’s +words and intent.</p> + +<p>2. There was no Table of Contents in the original of this book; one +has been added for the reader’s convenience.</p> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30464 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/30464-h/images/i001.jpg b/30464-h/images/i001.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..57becee --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i001.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i003.jpg b/30464-h/images/i003.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..70b7261 --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i003.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i039.jpg b/30464-h/images/i039.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..694ce7a --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i039.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i066.jpg b/30464-h/images/i066.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..01ecc65 --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i066.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i107.jpg b/30464-h/images/i107.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c911fd2 --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i107.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i176.jpg b/30464-h/images/i176.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6f6fabd --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i176.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/i199.jpg b/30464-h/images/i199.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5febc12 --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/i199.jpg diff --git a/30464-h/images/icover.jpg b/30464-h/images/icover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c0034a --- /dev/null +++ b/30464-h/images/icover.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c3b96e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #30464 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/30464) diff --git a/old/30464-8.txt b/old/30464-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c61883 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/30464-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5744 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Manifest Destiny, by Julia Magruder + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Manifest Destiny + +Author: Julia Magruder + +Release Date: November 13, 2009 [EBook #30464] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MANIFEST DESTINY *** + + + + +Produced by D Alexander and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + + A Manifest Destiny + + BY + + JULIA MAGRUDER + AUTHOR OF "A MAGNIFICENT PLEBEIAN" + + ILLUSTRATED + + NEW YORK AND LONDON + HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS + 1900 + + + + + Copyright, 1900, by JULIA MAGRUDER. + + _All rights reserved._ + + + + + [Illustration: Page 16 + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL"] + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL" _Frontispiece_ + + SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR _Facing p._ 34 + + "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'" " 60 + + "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'" " 100 + + "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD" " 168 + + "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'" " 190 + + + + +A MANIFEST DESTINY + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +Bettina Mowbray, walking the deck of the ocean steamer bound for +England, was aware that she was observed with interest by a great +many pairs of eyes. Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not +more interested in her than she was in the interpretation of their +glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that +she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, +who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was +her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her +life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, +therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been +rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her would or +would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were. + +Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect +elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was +vigilantly regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at +times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of +comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They +not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but +they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher +standard, she had won a higher tribute. + +Yet, ardent as this admiration was on the one side, and grateful as +it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would +have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which +no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she +was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to +her once had been so politely repelled that they had not spoken +again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on +coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively. + +There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye +and the imagination in this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, +perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and +expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, +dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning +dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time +there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made +her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in +which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the +brilliancy of a jewel. + +And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the +dual nature which was Bettina's. Her mother, who had studied her with +a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two +key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor +of Bettina's heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little +old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was +from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of +sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other +strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of +what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a +sort of desperation, and looked about her to see what was yet left +to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. +With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could +never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she +must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in +the world. + +This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had +been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank +and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect. + +In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the +papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her +beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had +fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had +many a pang of fear for the future of her child. + +When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her +heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the +dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the +possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if +she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite +opportunity in the person of one whom her mother entirely trusted +and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was +little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position, +but it had come about quite simply. + +The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her +daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev. Arthur +Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was +cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but +natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it +was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought +her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and +as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of +course that he should fall in love with her. + +So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and +talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account +of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply: + +"He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a +short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat +at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a +London mansion, several country places, and one of the greatest +positions in English society." + +"My child, my poor child!" said the mother, in a tone of distress, +"what is to be the end of your inordinate ambition for the things of +the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them +some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! +Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do +that but love." + +"But, you see, I propose to have love too," was the gay response. "I +assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as +this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms deep in love with me +already. He is manly, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether +charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, +mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; +but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of +Lord Hurdly." + +"Bettina," said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her +daughter's shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, "you will have to +come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at +last--the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight +and inadequate, and not worthy to be compared with the love which +you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call +forth your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and +I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman's best heritage. +Don't marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the +great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows +I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; +but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved +your father more." + +These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined to come back +to Bettina afterward, though at the time she resented the very +suggestion of what they predicted. + +Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had +become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had +followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a +proposal of marriage. + +Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an +inveterate enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of +kin and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, +and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very +agreeable to be constantly reminded that another man would some day +stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured for Horace a diplomatic +position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was +delightful, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made +him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to +indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, +intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that +moment gave up every other thought but the dominant one of winning +her for his wife. + +Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, +but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly's answer to his letter +announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings on +this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of +Bettina's beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady +Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that +his cousin would disapprove. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to +grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up +to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future. + +It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly's letter, when it came, was a +cold, curt, and most decided refusal to consent to the marriage. He +objected chiefly on the score of Bettina's being an American, though +he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to +think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do +better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as +he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very +day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his +senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end. + +Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but +she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a +keen desire to triumph over this obdurate opposition, and when Horace +asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his +altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than +she had hitherto shown. + +The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her +mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her +mother's failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could +not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs of jealousy, of which +he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother +in itself a proof of her great capacity of loving, and must he not, +with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? +Still, he chafed under the fact that every day her mother became more +and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now +more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact +by saying that the invalid was more suffering and in need of her, and +she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be +all-sufficing. + +At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing--a +summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have +attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the +prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn, he dared not +do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on +what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter +frankly before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would +relent, and spoke so indifferently about their lack of money that he +loved her all the more for it. + +He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina +to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to +propose this he found that the mere suggestion of her leaving her +mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her +mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be +braced up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change +would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and +some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would +go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they +could be married. + +With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying +experience for him to have to consider the question of money so +closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly's heir-at-law, and he could not be +disinherited, so far as the title and entailed estates were +concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to +deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well +enough to understand that he was tenacious of any position once +taken. + +So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently +willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her +sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and +depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what +was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper +care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother's health. + +Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so +vividly that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such +heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration that he could but feel +confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her +letters did come, they were so short, scant, and preoccupied that +they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the +passionately loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while +he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient ones, his pride +became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the +extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his +heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came +to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters +to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his +hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to +speak only of her mother's health and her grief about it, the young +fellow's love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, +so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her +attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the vehement love +for her in which he got no response. + +At last, after a longer interval than usual, he got a letter from +Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead--had, indeed, been +dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to +write to him. + +In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution +that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which +she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had +found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe +at once. She fixed the 23d of June as the day on which she had +decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked from New +York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan +which required that she should have one week in London quite free of +Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise +to marry him. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +Bettina was in London. The ocean voyage had done her good, and the +necessary effect of change, variety, new faces, new feelings, new +thoughts, had been to take her out of herself--the self that was +nothing but a grieving and bereaved daughter--and to quicken the +pleasure-loving instincts and thirst for admiration which were as +inherently, though not as prominently, a part of her. There was still +a root of bitterness springing up within her whenever she thought of +her mother's being taken from her, and this very element it was which +urged her to make all she could of life, in the hope of partially +filling the void in her heart. She was not even yet reconciled to the +loss of her mother, and there was a certain defiance of destiny in +her resolution to get some compensation for the wrong she had +sustained in losing what was dearest to her. + +On arriving in London, Bettina went to a hotel, and from there made +inquiries as to the whereabouts of Lord Hurdly. Parliament was in +session, and his lordship was in his town house in Grosvenor Square. +Having ascertained the hour at which he was most likely to be at +home, Bettina betook herself at that hour to his house. + +She refused to give her name to the servant who answered her ring, +and asked merely that Lord Hurdly might be told that a lady wished to +speak to him on a matter of importance. The servant, after a moment's +hesitation, ushered her into a small reception-room on the first +floor, and requested her to wait there. + +She stood for a few moments alone in this room, her heart beating +fast. She wore the American style of deep mourning, which swathed her +in dense, impenetrable black from head to feet, and seemed to add to +her somewhat unusual tallness. + +The door opened. Lord Hurdly entered. She had seen photographs of +him, and even through that thick veil would have known him anywhere. +The tall, thin figure, sharp eyes, aquiline nose, clean-shaven face, +and scrupulous dress were all familiar to both memory and +imagination. + +He paused on the threshold of the room, as if slightly repelled by +the strange appearance of the shrouded figure before him. Then he +spoke, coldly and concisely. + +"You wished to speak to me?" he said. "I have a few moments only at +my disposal." + +Bettina raised one hand and threw back her veil, revealing thus not +only her face, but her whole figure clothed in smooth, tight-fitting +black, so plain and devoid of trimming that the exquisite lines were +shown to the best advantage. Her face, surrounded by black draperies, +looked as purely tinted as a flower, and the excitement of the moment +had made her eyes brilliant and flushed her cheeks. + +The imperturbability of Lord Hurdly's face relaxed. His lips parted; +a smothered sound, as of surprise, escaped him. Certainly at that +moment Bettina was nothing less than bewilderingly beautiful. + +"I have to beg your pardon for coming to you so unceremoniously," she +said. "My excuse is that I have a matter of great importance to speak +to you of." + +Her voice was certainly a charming one, and if her accent was such as +he might have found fault with under other circumstances, under these +he found it an added attraction. She had put her own construction on +Lord Hurdly's evident surprise at sight of her, and it was one which +gave her an increased self-possession and added to her sense of +power. + +"Let us go into another room," said Lord Hurdly. "I cannot keep you +here, and whatever you may have to say to me I am quite at leisure to +attend to." + +He led the way from the room, and Bettina followed in silence. She +had had innumerable dreams of grandeur, poor child! but she had been +too ignorant even to imagine such a place as this house. Its +furnishing and decorations represented not only the accumulated +wealth, but also the accumulated taste and opportunity, of many +successive generations. She felt an ineffable emotion of deep, +sensuous enjoyment in her present surroundings which made her heart +leap at the idea that all these things might some day be hers. Lord +Hurdly looked exceedingly well preserved, and that day might be very +far distant. All the more reason, therefore, she told herself, why +she should make peace between him and Horace, so that she might at +least be sometimes a guest in this house, and be lifted into an +atmosphere where she felt for the first time that she was in her true +element. It was not only the magnificence which she saw on every side +which so appealed to her. It was that air of the best in everything +that made her feel, in Lord Hurdly's presence, as well as in his +house, that civilization could not go further--that life, on its +material side, had nothing more to offer. And Bettina had now reached +a point in her experience where material pleasure seemed to be all +that was left. She quite believed that all of the joy of loving was +buried in the grave of her mother. + +Her heart was beating fast as she entered Lord Hurdly's library and +saw him close the door behind them. It then struck her as being a +little peculiar that he should have brought her here without even +knowing who she was or what she wanted of him. + +A doubt, a scarcely possible suspicion, came into her mind. + +"Have you any idea who I am?" she said. + +"It suffices me to know what you are." + +"Ah! I do not understand," she said, puzzled. + +"You have come upon me without ceremony, madam," said Lord Hurdly, +with a slightly old-fashioned pomposity in his polished manner, "and +I may therefore ask you to excuse an absence of ceremony in me in +alluding to the impression which you have made upon me. You are a +stranger to me--an American, I judge from your speech. I hope that I +am to be so fortunate as to hear that there is something which I can +do for you." + +"There is," Bettina said--"a thing so vital and important to me that, +now I am in your presence, I am afraid to venture to speak, for fear +you may refuse to hear my prayer." + +"You are in small danger from that quarter, I assure you. I am ready +to do for you whatever you may ask. Let me, however, put a few +questions before I hear your request. You are wearing mourning. Is +it, perhaps, for your husband?" + +"For my mother," said Bettina, with a sudden trembling of the lip and +suffusion of the eyes which gave her a new charm, in revealing the +fact that this young goddess had a human heart which could be quickly +stirred to emotion. + +"Forgive me," said Lord Hurdly, with great courtesy. "Forget that I +have roughly touched a spot so sore, and tell me this, if you will: +are you married or unmarried?" + +"I am unmarried," said Bettina, beginning to tremble as she found the +important moment upon her; "but I am about to be married. I have made +this visit to London beforehand only to see you. The man I am going +to marry is your cousin and heir, Horace Spotswood." + +Lord Hurdly's guarded face betrayed a certain agitation, but the +signs of this were quickly controlled. + +He looked straight into her eyes for a few seconds without speaking. +Then he crossed the room and touched an electric button, saying, as +he did so: + +"I will get rid of an engagement that I had, so that I may be quite +at leisure to talk with you." + +Neither spoke again until the servant had come, taken his +instructions, and gone away, closing the door behind him. There was a +certain determination in Lord Hurdly's manner and expression which +did not escape Bettina. She was sure that her revelation of her +identity had prompted some decisive course of action in his mind, but +what it was she could not guess from that inscrutable face. + +"I am now quite free for the morning," her companion said. "Naturally +there is much for us to say to each other. Will you not lay aside +your bonnet and wrap? The day is warm, and that heavy mourning must +distress you." + +Certainly his manner was kind. Bettina began to like him and to hope +for success in her object in coming here. Quickly unbuttoning her +black gloves, she unsheathed her lovely hands, which were bare of +rings. Then with a few deft motions she removed her outer wrap and +her bonnet with its long, thick veil. + +In so doing she revealed the fact that she had an exquisite head, +with delicious masses of brown hair which looked almost reddish in +its contrast to the dense black of her gown, the smooth severity of +which accentuated every lovely curve of her figure, as it would have +done every defect, had there been defect. This gown was fitted to her +so absolutely that one had the satisfying sense that one looked at +the woman instead of at her clothes. There were fine old portraits on +the wall, of noble ladies who had once done the honors of this great +establishment, but the fairest of them paled before the glowing +loveliness of this girl. For she looked a girl, despite her sombre +garments, and there was a certain timidity in her manner which +strengthened this impression. + +Lord Hurdly offered her a seat, and then took another, facing her. + +"In engaging yourself to marry Horace Spotswood," he began, +deliberately, "you have made the supreme, if not the irreparable, +mistake of your life." + +Bettina's white skin showed the sudden ebb of the blood in her veins +as he said these words. + +"Why?" she asked, concisely. + +"Because he is no match for you, and because your marrying him would +not only place you on a lower plane than where you belong, but it +would also so seriously injure his position in life that there would +be no possible chance for him to retrieve it until my death. I am +comparatively a young man, and likely to live a long time. Apart from +that, I may marry. I had no expectation or intention of doing so, but +his recent defiance of me has made me sometimes feel inclined to the +idea. I have so far changed in my feeling on this subject that if I +could meet and win a woman to my mind, I would marry at once. What +then would become of Horace? He has a mere pittance besides his pay, +which is a ridiculous sum for a man to marry on. He has wronged you +in putting you in such a position, and you have equally wronged him." + +Bettina had turned very white as he spoke. The picture he drew was +bad enough in itself, but to have it sketched before her in her +present surroundings made it infinitely worse. + +"If we have wronged each other, we have done it ignorantly," she +said. "He assured me that you were determined never to marry, and he +counted on your past kindness and your attachment to him--" + +She broke off, her voice shaken. + +"On the same ground I counted on him," said Lord Hurdly. "He was in +no position to marry against my will, and in engaging to do so he +defied me. Let him take the consequences." + +"Then you are determined not to relent?" Bettina faltered. "You will +not forgive him for the offence of proposing to make me his wife?" + +"I did not say that," returned Lord Hurdly, with a subtle change of +tone. "I certainly should not forgive him for marrying you, but for +proposing to do so I am ready enough to forgive him, provided he +comes to his senses at that point and goes no further. In that event +I am ready not only to continue the handsome income that I have +allowed him, but to give him outright the principal of it." + +Bettina had never pretended that she was deeply in love with Horace +Spotswood. Indeed, she had quite decided within herself that she was +incapable of such a state of feeling, and it was her belief that the +fervor and intensity of love which she had given to her mother had +taken the place of what some women give to their husbands. Still, she +looked upon her prospective marriage to him as one of the fixed facts +of the universe, and Lord Hurdly's words bewildered her. + +Keener than this surprise, however, was her sense of humiliation at +the implacable offence which Lord Hurdly had taken at his heir's +proposed marriage with herself. That he had wished Horace to marry +she knew; it was therefore the woman whom he had chosen that Lord +Hurdly resented. + +She rose to her feet, feeling herself giddy, and knowing that she was +white with agitation. Her one idea was to get away--to escape the +scrutiny of the intense gaze which was fixed upon her. + +"I must go. I beg your pardon for coming," she said, with a proud +coldness, reaching for her wrap. + +"You must not go. I owe you endless thanks for coming, and I will +show you that you have to congratulate yourself also on this +interview. If you went now, you would defeat all the good that may +come of it. Sit down, I beg of you, and hear me out." + +His manner was not only urgent, it was also kind, and nothing could +have been more respectful than his every look and tone. + +Bettina sat down again and waited. + +"What is it that has shocked you?" he said. "Is it because of your +great love for Horace--or is it his for you which you are thinking of +most?" + +"I do not see that I am bound to answer you that question," said +Bettina, proudly. "My reasons are sufficient for myself." + +"You are in no way bound, my dear young lady, but you would be wise +to answer me. I have every disposition to act as your friend in this +matter, and you would be making a mistake to turn away from me +without hearing what I have to say. If you are imagining that the +young fellow with whom you have an engagement of marriage would be +rendered inconsolable by the loss of you, when it would be made up to +him by the possession of a fortune, perhaps you overestimate things." + +"What things?" she said, still cold and withheld in her manner, her +pale face very set. + +"The unselfishness of man's love in general, and of this man's in +particular," he said; "and, for another thing, yourself. It seems a +brutal thing to say, but if you believe that that hotheaded, +undisciplined boy is capable of a sustained affection against such +odds of fortune as this case presents, then I disagree with you, and +I know him better than you do." + +Bettina's face flushed. + +"He does love me--he does!" she cried, in some agitation. "I have +been cold and careless toward him, and have told him that my heart +was buried in my mother's grave." At these words her voice trembled. +"He knows how hard it is for me to think of another kind of love just +yet; but he has been kindness itself, and has written me the dearest, +lovingest letters that ever a woman had. If they have been a little +rarer and colder lately, it is only because of my own shortcomings +toward him. I shall try to atone for them now. Since I realize how +great an injury I have done to him, I shall try to be his +compensation for it." + +"And you think you will succeed? I doubt it." + +Something in his manner impressed her in spite of herself. Perhaps he +saw that it was so, for he pushed his advantage. + +"Compare the length and opportunities of my intercourse with him and +yours," he said. "You would be acting the part of absolute folly not +to listen to me now. In the end you will be as free to act as you +were in the beginning. Only let me remind you that his future is +involved as well as your own." + +He saw that this argument told. + +"I am willing to listen," she said. + +"I am grateful to you," he answered, with that air of finished +politeness which makes the best graces of a young man seem crude, and +which Bettina was not too ignorant to appreciate at its proper value. + +"I have known Horace as child and boy and man--if he may yet be +called a man," he said, with a light touch of scorn. "You have known +him in one capacity and state only--that of a lover, a _rôle_ he can +no doubt play very prettily, and one in which, despite his youth, he +is far from being unpractised. He has been in love oftener than it +behooves me to say or you to hear--quite harmless affairs, of course, +but they prove to one who has watched him as I have that his nature +is fickle and capricious. I confess that when I heard you say, just +now, that his letters of late had been rarer and less ardent, I could +not wholly attribute it to the reason which so quickly satisfied you. +As a rule, these intensely ardent feelings are not of long duration, +and I know well both the intensity and the brevity of Horace's +attacks of love. It was for this very reason that I so resented the +idea of his marrying without my advice. I foresaw that he would soon +weary of any woman. All the more reason, therefore, for his choosing +one who was suited to him, apart from the matter of his loving her. I +knew he had not the staying quality--that he was quite incapable of a +sustained affection. I therefore considered his taste in the matter +less than my own. As he was my heir in the event of my not marrying, +I felt that I had the right to demand that he should marry suitably +to his position." + +"I regret that he should have made an engagement which has +disappointed you," said Bettina, a slight curl at the corners of her +lips. + +"I regret it also; but you may remember that at the beginning of this +interview I spoke of this mistake on your part and on his as great, +though not perhaps irreparable." + +He was looking at her keenly, and he saw that his words had no effect +upon her except to mystify her. + +"I do not see any way to its reparation," she said, and was about to +continue, when he interrupted her. + +"I have pointed out the way--a rupture of the engagement by mutual +consent." + +"A consent that he would never give," said Bettina, with a certain +pride of confidence. + +"And you?" he asked. + +"Nor I either," she said, "unless I were convinced that he wished +it." + +"It would perhaps be not impossible to convince you of that, granted +a little time," said Lord Hurdly. "But, apart from his wish, have you +no consideration for his interest? His position in diplomacy is at +present insignificant, but he has talents and a chance to rise, +unless that chance be utterly frustrated by his embarrassing himself +with a family--a condition that would be death to his career. Ask any +one you choose, and they will tell you that there cannot be two +opinions about this. Besides, through my help he has been able to +live like a man of fortune. His allowance, however, will be stopped +on the day of his marriage, if he persists in such a course. If he +abandons it, he will find himself with the principal as well as the +interest at his disposal. So situated, he has every chance to rise. +Under the other conditions, he inevitably falls. What would become of +him ultimately is too dreary a line of conjecture to dwell upon." + +Bettina's face was paler still. The tears sprang to her eyes--tears +of mortification and keen regret. The thought of her mother pierced +through her, and the consciousness that she had no longer the refuge +of that gentle heart to cast herself upon almost overcame her. Pride +lent her aid, however, and she rallied quickly. + +"You have fully demonstrated to me," she said, "that I have injured +your cousin in promising to marry him. I did it in ignorance, +however. With the facts before me which you have just given, I should +perhaps have acted differently. Regret now, however, is useless." + +"On the contrary, this is one of the rare cases in which regret is +not useless. The reparation of your mistake is in your own hands." + +The possibility of doing what he urged flashed through Bettina's +mind. Horace would certainly be infinitely better off without her, in +every rational and material sense; and at this stage of Bettina's +development the rational and material were predominant. But what of +her, apart from Horace? This thought found vent in words. + +"You have been looking at this subject from your own point of view," +she said, "and perhaps naturally. I must, however, think of an aspect +of the case in which you have no interest. I am absolutely alone in +the world, and if, for your cousin's sake, I made this sacrifice--" + +In spite of herself her voice faltered. + +Lord Hurdly drew his chair a little nearer to her. His eyes were +fixed upon her with a yet more intent gaze as he said, with +directness and decision: + +"You are quite mistaken. It is this aspect of the case which concerns +me chiefly. If, as is undoubtedly true, the prevention of this most +mistaken marriage would be an advantage to Horace, to you it may be a +far greater gain, and to me it may be the fulfilment of all that I +have ever desired in life." + +"What do you mean?" she said, bewildered. + +"I mean that the supreme desire of my heart is, and has been from the +moment my eyes rested on you, to make you Lady Hurdly absolutely and +at once, instead of your waiting for a name and position which, after +all, may never come to you." + +Her heart beat so that her breathing came in smothered gasps. The +piercing demand of his eyes was almost terrifying to her. She saw +that he was absolutely in earnest, and the commiseration which she +felt for Horace struggled with the dazzling temptation which this +opportunity offered to that strong ambition which was so great an +element in her essential nature. + +"Do not be shocked or startled by the suddenness of my proposal," he +said. "I trust that you will come to see that it is eminently wise +and reasonable. When I said the marriage was an unsuitable one, I was +thinking more of you than of Horace. Your beauty, your manner, your +voice, your words, your whole ego and personality, show you to have +been born for a great position. It is a case of manifest destiny. The +fortune and the social rank that I can bestow are all too little for +you; I should like to be able to put a queen's crown on your +beautiful head. But such as I am--a man who has made his impression +on the current history of his country, and who, though no longer +young in the crude sense that counts only by months and years, is +still by no means old--and such things as I have and can command, I +lay at your feet, begging you humbly to impart to them a value which +they have never had before, by accepting them and becoming the sharer +of my name, my position, and my fortune, and the mistress of my +heart." + +He had risen and was standing in front of her with the resolution of +a strong purpose in his eyes. But she could not meet them, those +dominating, searching eyes. The thoughts that his words had given +rise to were too agitating, too uncertain, too tormenting to her. The +thought of giving Horace up pained her more than she would have +believed, while the vision of the grandeur so urged upon her, which +not ten minutes gone she had seen dashed like a full beaker from her +thirsty lips, tormented her as well. It was to her a vast sacrifice +to think of resigning such possibilities, yet at the first she had no +other thought but to resign them. The arguments for Horace's future +career which had been urged upon her also played their part in her +consciousness now, and the seething confusion of images in her brain +made her senses swim. + +Lord Hurdly must have seen her agitation, for he hastened to say: + +"I have been too hasty. You must forgive me. Do not try to answer me +at present. I see that you are overwrought. Let me beseech you to +rest a little while. I will send for the housekeeper." + +"No, no! I must go," she answered, starting to her feet. But she had +overestimated her strength. She sank back in her chair. + +He went himself and brought her a glass of wine, talking to her with +a soothing reassurance as she drank it. He reproached himself for +having been too hurried, too rash, but pleaded the earnestness of his +hopes as an excuse. When she had taken the wine she wanted to go, but +he entreated her so humbly not to punish him too deeply for his fault +that when he begged her to let him call the housekeeper to sit with +her until luncheon, which he implored her to take before leaving, she +acquiesced, too fagged out mentally to take any decided position of +her own. + +To the housekeeper Lord Hurdly explained that this lady was in deep +trouble--a fact sufficiently attested by her heavy mourning--and +would like to rest awhile before eating some luncheon. Bettina saw +herself regarded with a respectful awe which she had never had a +taste of before. The housekeeper, with the sweetest of voices and +kindest of manners, promised to do all in her power, and Lord Hurdly +withdrew. + +[Illustration: "SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR"] + +Bettina could not talk. She lay back on the lounge and submitted to +be gently fanned and having salts occasionally held to her nose. But +all her effort was to compose her thoughts--a difficult attempt, as +the image of her mother was the one which insisted on taking the +pre-eminence in her mind. She ordered it down, with a sort of +bitterness. Had her mother been alive, she would have gladly fled +from this puzzle into which her life had tangled itself, and gone +back to America to rest and mother-love. So she told herself, at +least. But then followed the reflection that in her mother's death +the refuge of love's calm and protection was gone from her forever, +and that she must either remain in Europe under one or the other of +the two conditions offered her, or else resign herself to the apathy +of despair. + +It was not in her to do this, and the brilliant possibilities which +Lord Hurdly had suggested flashed into her mind, and so excited her +that she suddenly rose to her feet and announced that her slight +indisposition was past, asking the housekeeper to take her somewhere +to rearrange her hair and prepare herself for luncheon. + +Even had Bettina been the possessor of a happy heart which rejoiced +in a fulfilled and contented love for the man she had promised to +marry, the other, dominating side of her nature could not have been +quite stifled as she walked through the halls and corridors of this +magnificent mansion. These were things her imagination had always +pictured as her proper position in life, and which the unregenerate +heart within her had always craved. But how far beyond her ignorant +dreams was the grand repose of this beautiful house! It was so much +more than she had conceived that the new supply to her senses seemed, +in a way, to create a new demand in them. + +Never, perhaps, had she so appreciated what it must be to be a +_grande dame_ as to-day, when she was on the point of refusing such +an opportunity, though it was just within her grasp. For she had no +idea but that she should refuse it, and this very consciousness made +her more friendly in her feelings and actions toward Lord Hurdly than +she would otherwise have been. + +When she had adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair, before large +mirrors which gave her a better view of her loveliness than she had +ever had before, a servant summoned her to luncheon, and at the foot +of the stairs she saw Lord Hurdly awaiting her. + +So seen, a decided baldness, which she had not much noticed before, +became evident, but there was a certain distinction in the man's +general air which this rather seemed to heighten. His manner of +delicate solicitude for her was the perfection of good-breeding, and +when she answered him reassuringly, and walked by his side to the +dining-room, a sudden conviction seized her that she had come into +her own--that this was the position for which she had been born, and +that, independent of the fact that she had determined to decline it, +it was her fate, which she could not escape. She tried to coax the +belief that it was as Horace's wife that she would one day enjoy all +these delights, but the thought eluded her. She could not see Horace +in the seat now filled by his cousin. In imagination as well as in +reality it was Lord Hurdly who occupied that seat. + +This conviction, which every moment deepened, she could not shake off +and could not account for. She had a feeling that it was forced upon +her consciousness through some dominating power of Lord Hurdly's +spirit over her own. She felt as if she were hypnotized. She wondered +if it could be so, and if she would presently come to herself and +find that it was all a delusion and she had never seen Lord Hurdly or +his house, but was on her way to St. Petersburg to join Horace and +settle down to a limited and economical way of living. + +At this thought her heart fell. She had laid her hand upon this +dazzling prize of worldly wealth and position. Could she let it go? + +During luncheon no reference was made to the subject of their late +conversation. The servants remained in the room, and Lord Hurdly +talked of public and quite impersonal affairs. In so doing he showed +a trenchant insight, a broad knowledge of the world, an undeniably +powerful mentality, and a decided skill in the art of pleasing. If +the tone of his talk was cynical, it found, for that very reason, all +the clearer echo in Bettina's heart. A certain tendency to cynicism +was inborn in her, and the bitterness she felt at the loss of her +mother had accentuated this. What was the use of loving, she asked +herself, when love must end like this? In her heart she passionately +hoped that she might never love again. And she had also a shrinking +from being loved in any ardent manner that might make demands upon +her which she could not respond to. + +When the time came for Bettina to leave, she found that the cab in +which she had come had been sent away, and, in its place, Lord +Hurdly's brougham waited for her. He escorted her himself to the +carriage door, and when the great footman who held it open touched +his hat in silence as he took her orders, and then mounted beside his +twin brother on the box and she was bowled away, on padded cushions +from which emanated a delicious odor of fine leather, Bettina felt +that, for the first time in her life, she was in her proper element. + +The events of the morning seemed to her like some agitating dream. +She wondered how long it had been since she left her hotel, and tried +to guess what time it was. As she did so, her eyes fell on the small +clock, neatly encased in the leather upholstering of the carriage +just in front of her. The fitness of this object and of everything +about her gave her a delicious sense of adaptation to her environment +which she had never had before. + +When she got out at her hotel, the footman, with the same salute of +ineffable respect, said that his lordship had told him to ask if she +had any further orders for the carriage to-day or to-morrow. She +declined the offer, but, none the less, she felt flattered by the +attention. + +Lord Hurdly's only further reference to their last conversation had +been to ask her to pay his words the respect of a few days' +consideration at least. He had learned from her that Horace was +unaware of her being in England, and that she had a whole week at her +disposal before he would expect to meet her there. When he asked for +a part of that week, in which to give him the opportunity to prove to +her that her duty to Horace, as well as to herself, demanded the +rupture of this mistaken engagement, she was sufficiently influenced +by the subtlety of this appeal to grant his request. + +To her surprise, several days went by, and he did not come to see her +nor write. Every morning the carriage was sent to the hotel and the +footman came to her door for orders, but she always answered that she +did not require it. Every morning, also, came a lavish offering of +flowers, the great exotic flowers which Bettina loved--huge, +heavy-petalled roses and green translucent-looking orchids. But, +except for these, he did not thrust himself upon her notice--a fact +which during the first and second days she gave him the greatest +credit for, but by the third had grown to feel a certain resentment +at. + +In the mean time there had followed her from home a letter from +Horace. It was the coldest she had ever had from him, and set her to +thinking deeply as to the possible cause of his coldness. Could it +be, she asked herself, that Lord Hurdly was right in calling him +capricious? Had he--as was possible, of course--cooled in his ardor +for her, and come to see that this hasty engagement of his had been a +great mistake, as she herself had come to see? + +For this point, at least, Bettina had positively reached. Why, +therefore, should she adhere to her engagement in the face of the +knowledge that such an adherence would be to his disadvantage, no +less than to hers? + +These arguments would have quite prevailed with her but for one +thing. This was the conviction, not yet changed, though somewhat +shaken by Lord Hurdly's account of him, that Horace really loved her +and would suffer in losing her. + +Deprived of the restraint of her mother's influence, Bettina had +progressed with rapidity in her way toward worldliness and selfish +ambition, but she had a heart. Her love for her mother had given +abundant proof of that, if there were nothing else; and now her heart +combated the influence of her head, which decreed that only a fool +would reject the great good fortune now held out to her. + +In point of fact, Bettina had been influenced more by ambition than +by love in engaging herself to Horace, and the gratification of a far +more splendid ambition was offered to her in making this other +marriage. In it, also, love would play but little part, and this she +felt to be decidedly a gain. Yet she was not so far lost to the +sentiments of kindness and loyalty, that she had learned from the +teaching and example of her mother, as not to hesitate before +wounding and humiliating the man who, as she still believed, loved +her devotedly. Could it have been proved that she was mistaken in so +believing, Lord Hurdly's case would have been already won. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +In the end Lord Hurdly prevailed, and that end was swifter in coming +than Bettina would have believed to be possible. She had allowed +herself a week to wait in London, and for the first day or two of +that week she lived in dread lest Lord Hurdly should come to her and +renew the arguments which she was quite determined to combat. As the +days passed and he did not come, she began to fear that the +opportunity of final decision on the momentous question of her choice +between these two men would not again be offered her. Her better +nature still held her to her pledge to Horace, but already she had +come to feel that, but for his disappointment at losing her, she +would have accepted Lord Hurdly's proposal, as it offered a full and +immediate fulfilment of her dreams of ambition, and the other +postponed these indefinitely, while it promised comparatively little +in any other direction. + +Toward the end of the week Lord Hurdly called, and, without any +reference to his own hopes and intentions, spoke, with what seemed to +be a considerable hesitation and regret, of his young cousin's +character and mode of life, which he declared were known, to every +one except Bettina, to be exceedingly capricious--even light. He +dwelt upon the fact, well known to Bettina, of his earnest desire +that his cousin and heir should marry, and gave as a reason for this +desire, what he declared to be the accepted fact, that Horace was +inclined to a dissipated manner of living, which he hoped marriage +might correct. + +Poor Bettina! She had believed the young man, to whom she had pledged +herself, to be the very opposite of all this. Yet how absolutely +ignorant concerning him she really was! And the rector of her church, +who was supposed to vouch for him, knew in reality as little as she. +How easily she might have been mistaken in him! And yet, and yet, +there was a still, small voice in her heart which confirmed her in +her resolve to believe in him until she had proof that such a belief +was ill founded. + +"With his past I have nothing to do," she said to Lord Hurdly, with a +certain show of pride. "If it has been lower than my ideal of him, I +regret it; but I am entirely sure that since he has known me and had +my promise to be his wife he has been true to all that that promise +required of him." + +"This being your conclusion," Lord Hurdly answered, "you force upon +me the necessity of showing you a letter which I have to-day received +from a friend in St. Petersburg, and which I would, without strong +reason to the contrary, have gladly spared you the pain of reading." +With these words, he handed Bettina a letter. + +It was signed with a name unknown to her, but written evidently in +the tone and manner of an intimate friend. The first page or two +referred to matters wholly indifferent to her--public affairs and the +like--but toward the end were these words: + + "Are you as set as ever in your determination not to marry? + Pity it is that such a noble name and fortune as yours + should not pass on to a son of your own, instead of to one + who, it is to be feared, will do little to honor it. I see + him here, at court and everywhere, accurately fulfilling + the rather unflattering predictions which I long ago made + concerning him. There is a story that he became engaged to + be married during his travels in America, and I hear that he + owns up to it and speaks of being joined by his _fiancée_ + and married on this side. I hope it may not be so. Certainly + his present manner of living argues against the rumor, + unless--a supposition I am reluctant to believe--he proposes + to keep up, as a married man, the habits which are so + readily forgiven to a bachelor, though not to a husband." + +There was more, but Bettina read no further. This was enough. She had +turned away to a window, that she might read this letter unobserved +by Lord Hurdly, who had considerately walked to the other end of the +room. + +When at last she approached him and gave him back the letter, she was +very pale, but her manner was wholly without indecision and her voice +was resolute as she said: + +"I thank you, Lord Hurdly, for the service which you have rendered +me. This letter has made my future course quite clear. I shall write +to your cousin to-day that everything is at an end between us. And +now will you be good enough to leave me? I wish to make my +arrangements to return to America at once." + +Even as she said the words, the bitter barrenness of this +prospect--the old dull life, without the dear presence which had been +its one and sufficient palliation--rose before her mind and appalled +her. Perhaps Lord Hurdly saw in her face some change of expression +which he construed as favorable to himself, for he hastened to say: + +"Will you not, before taking so rash a step, consider the proposal +which I have made to you? I can offer you the substance of which the +other was only the shadow, and I can pledge to you the stable and +unalterable devotion of a man who has lived long enough to know his +own mind, and who declares to you that you are the only woman whom he +has ever desired to put in the position of his wife." + +It was impossible not to feel some consciousness of satisfaction at a +tribute which her own knowledge of facts convinced her to be sincere, +but Bettina's heart and mind were still too preoccupied to meet him +in the way he wished. She repeated her request that he would leave +her, and so earnest and distressed was her manner that he complied, +leaving behind him an impression of the deepest solicitude for her, +and the most earnest desire on his part to atone for the wrong which +his kinsman had done her. + +Bettina threw herself upon the lounge and abandoned herself to a fit +of weeping--so overwhelming, so despairing, so heart-breaking that +she could scarcely believe that she, who had thought that all her +power of deep suffering had been exhausted, could still find it in +her to care so much for any other grief. + +The worst of it was that, now it was quite evident that she was +forever divided from Horace, the charm of his manner and appearance, +the tenderness of his love-making, came back to her with a power +which they had never exercised upon her in reality. Never, surely, +had a man existed who was, to appearance at least, more frank, +sincere, ardent, and deeply in love than he had seemed to be with +her. It made his perfidy appear the greater. Nothing but the sight of +that letter could have made her believe it; but that, taken in +connection with the rareness and coolness of his recent letters to +her, made it all too plain that the ardent flame of his love had +burned out, and that he had repented his impetuosity, now that he had +had time to think of the sacrifice which it entailed. + +This was indeed great for a man in his position, ambitious in his +career, and with his foot already on the ladder that led to success. +She even began to doubt whether he would have fulfilled his +obligations to her when it came to the point. + +She got out his letters and read them over. How passionately loving +were the early ones--how cool and constrained the more recent! The +contrast struck her far more now in the light of recent events. It +really seemed as if he might be trying to get out of the engagement. + +At this thought pride came to her rescue. She felt herself grow hard +and cold, and her composure returned completely. She would never let +him know what she had heard, for that might make it seem as if she +gave him up from compulsion. She sat down and wrote quickly a few +formal sentences, saying that she had mistaken her own feelings, and +that she wished to break the engagement. She added that she was +returning immediately to America, as indeed she was intending to do +at the time of the writing of this letter. + +After it had gone, and was on its way to St. Petersburg, a mental +condition of such abject misery settled down upon her that the +thought of the endless days and nights of idle monotony which would +be her lot if she returned home, and the awful void of her mother's +absence, became intolerable. She could not do it. She must find some +way of escape from such a fate. + +Just as she was casting about for such a way, Lord Hurdly came to +see her. The escape which he offered had in it many elements of the +strongest attractiveness for her. Since she could not be happy, as +she believed, why might she not get from life the satisfaction which +comes from the holding of a great position, the opportunity of being +admired and wielding a powerful influence? It was a prospect which +had always charmed her; and now, with no alternative but lonely +isolation and bitter weariness, was it strange that she decided to +accept Lord Hurdly's offer? + +And if it was to be, what need was there to wait? Wounded in her +pride as she was by the revelation of Horace which she had received, +she relished the idea of becoming at once what he had proposed to +make her--and afterward repented of. She was fully convinced in her +mind that he had repented, and her blood beat faster as she thought +of his consternation on hearing of this marriage. She felt eager that +he should hear of it at once. + +And so indeed he did. On the heels of his receipt of Bettina's letter +her marriage to Lord Hurdly was announced by cable--not to him, but +through the newspapers. + +Then into his heart there entered also the exceeding bitterness of a +lost ideal. She became to him, as he had become to her, the image of +broken faith, capricious feeling, and overweening worldly ambition. + +Yet in the heart of the man, who had loved completely and supremely, +as Bettina never had, there was a feeling which made him say to +himself, with a conviction which he knew to be immutable, that +marriage was not for him. The present Lord Hurdly had said the same, +and had changed his mind. For himself he knew that he should not, for +all of love that he was capable of feeling had been given to the +woman who had cast him off. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Bettina had gone through her first London season as Lady Hurdly, and +certainly no girl's ambitious dreams could have forecast a more +brilliant experience. She had been far too ignorant to imagine such +subtle delights of the senses as resulted from the wealth and +eminence which she had attained to in marrying Lord Hurdly. And +beyond the mere sensuous appeal which was made to her by the wearing +of magnificent clothes and jewels, and the being always surrounded +with objects of beauty and means of luxury, she had the greater +delight of having her feverishly active mind continually supplied +with a stimulus, which it now more than ever needed. This was +furnished by the innumerable social demands made upon her, and the +complete power which she felt within herself to respond to them not +only creditably, but in a way that should make even Lord Hurdly +wonder at her. + +True, she had had no social training, and in a less powerful position +she might have shown her ignorance and incapacity, for she would then +have had to take a personal supervision of the things which she now +left utterly alone, and which, being essential to be done, were +done--how and by whom she did not ask. Lord Hurdly had so long done +the honors of his house without a wife that it was natural to him to +continue the direction of household affairs, with the aid of the +accomplished assistants who were in his employment; so Bettina had no +more to do with such matters than if she had become the mistress of a +royal household. At the proper time she showed herself at Lord +Hurdly's side, and she had beauty enough and wit enough not only to +do credit to that high position, but to cast a glory over it which he +knew in his heart no other Lady Hurdly of them all had ever done. + +That she enjoyed it, who could doubt that saw her, day after day and +evening after evening, beautifying with her presence the social +gatherings at her own splendid house, and at those of the new +acquaintances who sought her society and distinguished her with their +attentions wherever she might go. + +Having had no experience of wealth, it never seemed to occur to her +that it could have its definite limit, and she ordered costumes and +invented ways of spending money which sometimes surprised her lord, +but which also pleased him. His fortune was so large, and had been so +long without such demands upon it, that it was a source of genuine +satisfaction to him to see that Bettina knew how to avail herself of +her brilliant opportunity. Save and except a wife, he was already +possessed of every adjunct that could do credit to his name and +position, and in marrying Bettina he had been largely influenced by +the fact that she was qualified to supply this one deficiency with a +distinction which no other woman he had ever seen could have bestowed +upon the position. + +So, to the world, Bettina seemed completely satisfied, and in the +worldly sense she was so. In this sense, also, Lord Hurdly seemed and +was satisfied in his marriage. How it was with them in their hearts +no one knew, and perhaps there was no one who cared to know. The one +being to whom this question was of strong interest was very far away. +He had shifted his position from Russia to India about the time of +his cousin's marriage, and Bettina never heard his name mentioned, +nor did she ever utter it. + +After the London season was over, Lord and Lady Hurdly had moved +from their town-house to the family seat, Kingdon Hall. Here, after +a day's stop, Lord Hurdly had left her, to return to town on some +public business; and so, for the first time since her marriage, she +had a few days to herself. Later they were to have the house filled +with guests, and after that to make some visits; so this time of +solitude was not likely to be repeated soon. Bettina was surprised +at herself to see how eagerly she clutched at it. It was, in some +faint degree, like the feeling which she had had after the rare and +short separations from her mother--a longing to get back to the +familiar and the accustomed. She now felt somewhat the same longing +to get back to herself. She had done her part in all that brilliant +pageant like a woman in a dream. She had enjoyed it, for power and +admiration were very dear to her, and she had revelled in their fresh +first-fruits. But she had not been herself for so long, had not for +so long looked herself in the face and searched her own heart, that +she did not know herself much more familiarly than she knew the other +brilliant personages who moved beside her across the crowded stage of +London life. + +It was unaccountable even to herself how she rejoiced at the idea of +these few days of quiet and solitude. Nora, her old nurse, was of +course with her still, with a French maid to assist her and perform +the important functions of the toilet of which the elderly woman was +ignorant. This maid Bettina sent off on a holiday, so that she might +have only Nora about her. + +The morning after her arrival at Kingdon, Bettina, having breakfasted +in her room, went for a ramble over the house. It seemed solemnly +vast and empty, and she would have lost herself many times had she +not encountered now and then a courtesying house-maid or an +obsequious footman, who answered her inquiries and told her into what +apartments she had strayed. + +"Show me the way to the picture-gallery," she said to one of these, +"and then tell the housekeeper to come to me there presently." + +She had taken a fancy to this white-haired old woman the night +before, when Lord Hurdly had presented the servants to their new +mistress in the great hall, where they had all been assembled to +receive her on her arrival. + +In a few moments she found herself alone in the stately gallery, +going from picture to picture. On one side was a long line of the +ladies of Kingdon Hall, painted by contemporary artists, each +celebrated in his era. At the end of this line her own portrait, done +by a celebrated French painter who had come to London for the +purpose, had recently been put in place. + +It was a magnificent thing in its manner as well as in its subject, +and the costume which Lord Hurdly's taste had conceived for her and a +French milliner had carried out was a marvel of rich effects. As she +paused in front of it her lips parted, and she said, whispering to +herself, + +"Lady Hurdly--the present Lady Hurdly! And what has become of +Bettina?" + +As she asked herself this question she sighed. + +A sudden instinct made her move away. She wanted to escape from Lady +Hurdly. She had a chance to be herself to-day, and she felt a strong +desire to make the most of it. + +Hearing a sound at her side, she turned and found the serious, +pleasant face of the housekeeper near her. + +"Good-morning, my lady," she said, gently, in answer to Bettina's +friendly salutation. "Will your ladyship not have a shawl? This room +is always cool, no matter what the weather is." + +Bettina declined the wrap, but passed on to the next picture, +requesting the woman to come with her and act as cicerone. + +"What is your name? I ought to know it," she said. + +"Parlett, your ladyship." + +"And how long have you lived here, Parlett?" + +"Over forty years, my lady. I was here in the old lord's time. That +is his picture, with his lady next to him." + +Bettina looked with interest at the two pictures designated. + +"He is thought to be very much like his present lordship," said the +housekeeper. + +"Yes, I see it," said Bettina, feeling an instinct to guard her +countenance. Here were the same keen eyes, the same resolute jaw, the +same thin lips and hard lines about the mouth. Only in the older face +they were yet more accentuated, and instead of the not unbecoming +thinness of hair which showed in the son, there was a frank expanse +of bald head which made his features all the harder. + +Hurrying away from the contemplation of this portrait, Bettina turned +to its companion. Here she encountered a face and form which were +truly all womanly, if by womanliness is meant abject submission and +self-effacement. The poor little lady looked patiently hopeless, and +her deprecating air seemed the last in the world calculated to hold +its own against such a lord. That she had not done so--of her own +full surrender of herself, in mind and soul and body--the picture +seemed a plain representation. + +"Poor woman! She looks as if she had suffered," said Bettina. + +"Oh yes, my lady," Parlett answered, as if divided between the +inclination to talk and the duty to be silent. + +"She was unhappy, then?" said Bettina. "You need not hesitate to +answer. His lordship has told me what a trusted servant of the family +you are, and I shall treat you as such. You need not fear to speak to +me quite freely." + +"Yes, my lady, she had a great deal of sadness in her life," went on +the housekeeper, thus encouraged. "She had six daughters before she +had a son, and this was naturally a disappointment to his lordship. +One after the other these children died, which grieved her ladyship +sorely, for she was a very devoted mother. His lordship had never +noticed them much, being angry at not having an heir, and this made +my lady all the fonder of them. She had little constitution herself, +and the children were sickly. At last, however, an heir was born, but +her ladyship died at his birth. It seemed a pity, my lady, did it +not? For his lordship was greatly pleased with the heir, and, of +course, my lady would have been much happier after that." + +Bettina did not answer. The evident reasonableness of the father's +position, in the eyes of this good and gentle woman, made it +impossible for her to speak without dissent to such an atrocity as +Lord Hurdly's attitude seemed to her. So she moved away, and the +woman took the hint and said no more. + +A little distance off, at the end of the long room, she had caught +sight of an object that made her heart beat suddenly. She did no more +than glance at it, and then returned to the contemplation of the +picture before which she was standing. But she had recognized Horace +Spotswood in the tall stripling of perhaps fifteen who stood in +riding-clothes at the side of a pawing gray horse. + +By the time she had made her way to it, in its regular succession, +she had quite recovered her calmness and had made up her mind as to +her course. + +"And who is this handsome boy?" she said, with perfect +self-possession, as they stood before the large canvas. + +[Illustration: "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'"] + +"That is Mr. Horace, my lady," said the woman, a sudden tone of +emotion mingling with the deference in her voice as her eyes dwelt +on the picture fondly. + +And who could wonder at this? Surely a more winsome lad had never +been seen. He was even then tall, and in his riding coat and breeches +looked strangely slender, in contrast to the broad-shouldered +physique which she had lately known so well. But the eyes were just +the same--direct, frank, eager eyes, which looked straight at you and +seemed to make a demand upon you to be as open and frank in return. + +Had Bettina searched the world, she could not, as she knew, have +found a more significant contrast than the comparison of the honest +eyes with the guarded, cold, inscrutable ones into which it was now +her lot to look so often. + +"Have you known him a long time?" she asked, pleasantly, as the woman +remained silent. + +"Oh, since he was a little lad, my lady! We all love Mr. Horace here. +He is the handsomest and kindest young gentleman in the world, and +he's that good to me that I couldn't be fonder of my own son, not +forgetting the difference, my lady." + +Bettina detected a tone of regretfulness in the woman's voice, and +also, she thought, an effort to conceal it. If there was a feeling +akin to this regret in her own heart, she also must conceal it. These +allusions to the handsome, enthusiastic young fellow to whom she had +promised herself in marriage had stirred her deeply. The idea of any +one, servant or equal, speaking in this way of the man who was her +husband, at any time in his life, gave her a nervous desire to laugh. +It was followed by an equally nervous impulse to cry. + +Walking ahead of the housekeeper, she gained a moment's opportunity +for the recovery of her self-control, and she made good use of it. + +"Parlett," she said, presently, "I do not want you to think that in +marrying Lord Hurdly I have done an injury to Mr. Spotswood." In +spite of herself, her voice shook at the name. + +"Oh no, my lady--" began Parlett, but her mistress interrupted her, +saying, quickly: + +"Of course he always knew that his lordship might marry, and could +not have been unprepared for such a possibility; but in order that he +might feel no difference in his present position on that account, +Lord Hurdly has settled on him what is really a handsome fortune--not +only the income of it, but the principal also. I tell you this that +you may understand that he is none the worse off, so far as money +goes, through his cousin's marriage to me." + +"Yes, my lady. I understand, my lady. Thank you for telling me," said +Parlett, somewhat nervously. "Of course every one knows that you have +done him no harm, my lady, and we knew, of course, that his lordship +would do the handsome thing by him." + +Somehow these civil, reassuring words smote painfully upon Bettina's +consciousness. When this woman spoke so confidently of Lord Hurdly's +doing the handsome thing by his former heir, she felt it to be the +hollow tribute of a conventional loyalty, and the assurance that it +was understood that she herself had done him no harm grated on her +also. Now that she was quite alone and free to think things out, as +she had shrunk from doing heretofore, and as, in the rush of the +London season, she had been able to avoid doing, she felt a sense of +compunction toward Horace that seriously depressed her. + +Dismissing the housekeeper, she put on a shade-hat and went for a +ramble in the park. How beautiful it was! What shrubs, what trees, +what undulations of rich emerald turf! She could not in the least +feel that she had any right in it all. But how must a creature love +it who had looked upon its noble beauties from childhood up to +youth, and on to manhood, with the belief that it would some day be +his own! She could not stifle the feeling that she had wronged that +being if by her marriage she should be the means of depriving him of +such a fortune and position, and deep, deep down in her consciousness +she had a boding fear that, if all things hidden could be revealed, +it might be shown that in a keener sense than this she had also +wronged him. + +For marriage had been in many ways an illumination to Bettina. The +revelation of her own heart which it had given her was one which she +tried hard to shut her eyes to. Twice she had consented to the idea +of marrying without love. Once she had actually done this thing. Only +her own heart knew what had been the consequences to her. But of one +thing she had often felt glad. This was that she had not entered into +a loveless marriage with a man who had loved her as she had believed +Horace did at the time he had so ardently wooed her. From such a +wrong as that might she be delivered! + +As her thoughts now dwelt on Horace and the circumstances of their +brief past together, the memory of his honest, tender, self-forgetful +attitude toward her recurred to her half wistfully, in contrast to +her recent experiences. Lord Hurdly's manner toward her had, in +truth, changed from the very hour of their marriage. He no longer had +the air of a solicitous suitor, but took at once that of the assured +husband and master. It made her think what she had heard of his +father and of his poor little mother's history. Not that she could +fancy herself becoming, under any circumstances, a Griselda; though +she could without difficulty imagine him in his father's _rôle_. + +But what right had she, she asked herself, to expect to reap where +she had not sown? She had married for money and position, and she had +got them. What more had she expected? + +Nothing more, perhaps; but in one point she had been +disappointed--namely, in the power of these things to give her what +she longed for, and what she could define only under the indefinite +term happiness. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Bettina's talk with Parlett had set her mind to working very actively +in a direction in which she had not allowed it to stray before. The +thought of Horace always brought a sense of pain and spiritual +discomfort to her, which she instinctively desired to shake off; and +in the restless whirl of London life, which left her little time for +thought of any kind, she had not much difficulty in doing so. + +Now, however, she had nothing to do but to think and to become +acquainted with her new possessions, the latter occupation being a +strong stimulus to the former. There were many associations with +Horace at Kingdon Hall. It was extraordinary how many things that he +had told her in connection with this place came back to her. She +was constantly recognizing pictures or persons or names with which +he had made her familiar. The persons were, of course, the servants, +steward, tenants, and the like, for she had seen no others. Even +in walking about the lawn she had found his initials cut on trees, +and the very dogs which joined her when she would go out for her +walks had names on their collars that she knew. There was one, a +magnificent Great Dane, which bore Horace's name there as well as his +own. This dog, Comrade, she had heard Horace speak of with a special +affection. + +True, Kingdon Hall had never been Horace's home, but he had grown up +with the idea that it might be, and since coming to manhood had felt +wellnigh secure that it would be. All his life he had been in the +habit of making visits here, and the impression which he had left +behind him was almost surprising to Bettina. + +The place in which this impression was strongest was in the hearts of +the servants. Bettina, through Nora, had assured herself of this. The +devoted servant, who had the sole object in life of serving her +beloved mistress, had, by Bettina's orders, informed herself on this +point, and all that she gathered in the servants' hall she retailed +to Bettina in her room. Nora, like every one else, had been won by +Horace's manner and appearance, but, of course, when her mistress had +drawn off from him, she had no idea of anything but acceptance of the +changed conditions. Still, she was inwardly delighted when Bettina +explained to her how anxious she was to learn all that she could +about Mr. Horace, so that she might lose no opportunity of furthering +his interest with Lord Hurdly, and making up to him, as far as +possible, for having disappointed him in his worldly prospects by +marrying his cousin. + +That he could hold her accountable for any other wrong to him she did +not admit. At times the memory of his fresh and buoyant youth, in so +great contrast to the jaded maturity of his cousin, knocked at the +door of her heart, and the ardent expressions of his worshipping, +passionate love for her echoed there with a distinctness that amazed +her. + +Surely he had loved her--this she could not doubt. But if his love +had been so slight that a few months of absence had cooled it, and of +so poor a quality that a new caprice had taken its place so soon, she +was well rid of it. That this had been so the letter which Lord +Hurdly had shown her sufficiently attested, and she must guard +herself against the folly of sentimental regrets. + +It was not Horace that she regretted. It was only the ideal of the +love between man and woman which her brief intercourse with him had +held up to her. She had seen love in a different guise since +then--or what went by the name of love--and surely the contrast must +have had a deeper root than the mere difference between youth and +middle-age. + +It was not often that Bettina allowed herself to think of these +things. But now, in her solitude and idleness, visions would come of +the eager lover, strong as a young Narcissus, who represented love in +such a simple, wholesome guise--or at least so it had seemed to be. +Then she would shake off the image, and tell herself it was but +seeming, as the result had proved, and so she would accuse herself of +weakness and sentimentality. These thoughts were getting to be +inconvenient. They haunted her too persistently, and at last she +began to wish for the time to come when her days would again be too +crowded with engagements for her to indulge in such foolish +reflections. + +The truth was, deep down in Bettina's heart there was a fear which +she could not wholly still in any waking hour. She could and did +refuse to recognize it, even in her own soul; but there it was, and +there it remained, to rise again and again, and almost stifle her +with the sinister possibility which it suggested. + +This fear was based upon the clearer knowledge of Lord Hurdly's +character which had come to her since marriage. She had found in him +an inexorable resolution to have what he wanted in life, which had +rendered him, more than once within her knowledge, unscrupulous as to +the means he used in the securing of his ends. This it was which had +planted in her mind the awful though remote possibility of his having +been, in some manner, insincere in his representations of Horace's +nature and character. + +But then there was the letter from his friend which she had seen with +her own eyes, with the St. Petersburg mark, so familiar to her, on +the envelope, and which had been written by a person who could not +have known that she would ever see it. Surely that was enough to +settle all doubts as to the character and conduct of the man to whom +she had first pledged herself in marriage, and she had at least the +satisfaction of knowing that her present husband could be charged +with no such faults. His indifference to her sex was proverbial in +society, and that she alone, of all the women he had seen--so many of +whom had angled for him openly--had been able to do away with his +aversion to marriage was a tribute in which she could not help +feeling a certain pride, the more so as she saw every day new proofs +of his fastidiousness, as well as his importance. + +So she stifled this dread suggestion and forced her thoughts into +other channels. This was to be more easily accomplished when her body +was actively employed; so she took long rides on horseback, attended +by a groom, or long walks in the park alone. In these walks Horace's +big dog Comrade would often join her. The creature had taken a fancy +to her, which seemed, in some strange way, to comfort her. + +Besides these diversions, she had her large correspondence to dispose +of every day; for in her important position she had of course +established numberless points of contact with the world. + +So the time went by until Lord Hurdly's return, and the day that +followed saw Kingdon Hall filled with guests. After that there were +few moments of reflection for its mistress, as the duty of doing the +honors of this great establishment demanded all her time. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +Bettina loved this power and importance. The drama of her present +life was like the unfolding, before her gaze, of a beautiful series +of pictures which she had conceived in her imagination, and which +some enchanter's word had turned into reality. The crowded functions +of the London season had somewhat palled upon her, though she had not +quite owned it to herself; but here she was the centre of the system, +the light around which these lesser lights revolved, and she seemed, +under these conditions, to shine with an increased radiance. Her +manners, where they differed from those of the women about her, +seemed to gain rather than lose by the contrast, and her costumes +seemed to be endless in their variety as well as in their beauty. +Certainly she had an air of being born to the purple, and her +husband's pride in her was undoubted, if unexpressed. + +Bettina was aware that this pride was his strongest feeling in +regard to her, and she was abundantly willing to have it so. If she +had found it difficult to fall in love with a youth who might have +disturbed the heart of Diana, she was not likely to have fallen in +love with the cool, cynical, narrow-chested, thin-haired man whom she +could yet feel a certain pride in owning as her husband, since his +appearance, no less than his name, was distinguished. She had always +had a theory that she would never love deeply any one besides her +mother, and her two experiences in the lottery of marriage, so +different as they were, convinced her that her knowledge of herself +had been correct. She was glad of it. The hot anguish which at times +even yet contracted her heart at the thought of her mother made her +hope devoutly that she would never love again. The joy of it could +not be worth the pain. + +When Lady Hurdly's house-party broke up, she went with her husband on +a round of visits to other country-houses. This phase of society she +liked, and she threw herself into it with ardor. But toward the end +she wearied of these visits, as she had wearied of London, and was +glad to get back to Kingdon Hall. Instead of rest, however, she found +restlessness, and the disturbing thoughts which she had smothered +before came back with added force. It was a relief to her to think of +going abroad--Lord Hurdly having made plans for their spending some +months of the winter on the Continent. + +There was one instinctive fear connected with this plan--the +possibility that she might by some chance encounter Horace. She had +little fear that he would come to England. What would it matter if +she should meet him? He had never been anything to her, really--so +she assured herself--and she had certainly been, in reality, quite as +little to him. Yet she did unreasonably dread such a meeting with +him, and felt anxious to know where he was. + +Accordingly, one morning she asked Parlett, in a casual way, if she +ever heard from Mr. Horace. + +"Oh yes, my lady; he writes to me now and then," replied the +housekeeper. Bettina had not expected to hear this; her only thought +was to draw out some information gained by hearsay. + +"He is at St. Petersburg?" she asked, indifferently. + +"No, my lady; at Simla," was the unexpected answer. "He has been +there a good while. I had a pamphlet from him the other day. When he +has not time to answer my letters, he often sends me a paper, or +something like that, to show me what he has been doing. I can't +always understand them, but he knows I like to have them just because +he wrote them." + +Bettina was unwilling to show her ignorance, so she did not say that +she had no knowledge that he ever wrote for publication, and when +Parlett went on to offer her the reading of the pamphlet she said, +with an indifferent kindness, + +"Yes, bring it to me, by all means. I am very glad that Mr. Horace +keeps up his intercourse with the old place, which of course may yet +be his. I shall take an interest in seeing what he writes." + +She went on to speak of certain changes which she wished made in some +of the sleeping-apartments, and then dismissed her housekeeper with +something less than her usual graciousness of manner. + +Bettina felt a strong desire to be alone. These tidings of Horace, +slight as they were, had been disturbing to her. Indeed, as time +went on and her knowledge of Lord Hurdly increased, the fear that +he might have dealt insincerely with his cousin or with herself grew +steadily. She saw proofs every day of the ruthlessness with which he +sacrificed men, and even what should have been principles, to gain +his ends. By the light of the same knowledge she realized how his +meeting with her had disturbed him in his customary calmness of +poise, and she argued from this fact how important it had been to him +to gain his object of making her his wife. + +In the midst of these reflections a house-maid tapped at her door, +with some folded papers on a tray. + +"If you please, my lady, Mrs. Parlett sends you these," she said. + +She was a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked English girl, with a soft voice +and very pretty manner, and at present she was gently agitated by the +privilege of speaking to her lady, whom she, as well as all the rest +of the maids, regarded as a sort of cross between angel and goddess. + +Bettina thanked her with a kind smile which sent her away completely +happy; then, in the privacy of her own chamber, she opened the +papers. One was a diplomatic pamphlet on a public question in the +line of the writer's professional work. The other was an article +which went very thoroughly into the question of the best means of +relieving the famine then raging in India. + +It seemed to Bettina that she had vaguely heard that there was such a +famine, but she had not felt more than a kindly casual interest in it +as an unfortunate matter which she could not help. Now, however, as +she read the account which this paper gave, and the lines which it +followed in the effort to render help, her heart burned within her. +Here was a man who had no more power than herself to give money +help--far less, indeed, perhaps. Yet how he was spending his soul, +his strength, his time, his talent, his very heart-beats, on this +effort to go to the rescue of these perishing thousands! No one who +read the throbbing sentences of that paper could have a doubt of the +writer's earnest desire to help, or of his ability to move the hearts +and wills of others to come to his aid. It wrought upon her +strangely. + +How much money could she lay her hands on? She had no idea, but she +would make it her business to find out. There was her own little +income, which she had taken no account of since her marriage, and +there was the money which Lord Hurdly had put to her credit in the +bank. She would get all she could and send it--anonymously, of +course--to the famine fund which she had casually heard mentioned. +But, oh, what a pitiful offering it seemed compared with what this +man was giving with such lavish self-devotion! From the fervor of his +printed words, and his report of what had so far been accomplished, +she saw that the very passion of his heart was in it. Of his ardent +temperament, his quick sympathies, she had knowledge in her own +experience. Perhaps it had been these very traits of his which had +led him to the conduct which had separated them. + +At this thought, that faint suspicion that he had been misrepresented +to her rose in her heart again; but she choked it back. That would be +too awful. Besides the hideous self-accusations which would have +followed the admission of this doubt, there was another argument +against it which still had its powerful hold on her. She had grown +accustomed to her great position in the social world, and her inborn +instinct for power and admiration was deliciously gratified by the +brilliancy of her present circumstances. She found it very agreeable +to be Lady Hurdly, with all that that name and title implied, and she +did not, even in this moment of such unwonted emotion, lose sight of +that fact. + +Yet the reading of this little paper had stirred a feeling in +Bettina's heart which she had not felt for so long a time--a +yearning tenderness for some object outside herself: a longing that +her health and strength might avail for others bereft of these +blessings. It was akin to the emotion she had felt by her mother's +dying bed, and as it swept over her she wept as she had not done +since she had knelt beside that sacred spot. + +Instinctively now she fell upon her knees. She tried to pray--but for +what? She could not compose a form of prayer or articulate a definite +wish. All she could do was to pray to God--the God in whom her mother +had trusted--to give her this thing, this unknown boon which He knew +her passionate need of. + +When she rose from her knees she put her hands to her head, and, +pressing her temples hard, looked about her, as if in search of some +object which might help her to the comprehension of her own mood. +Then, running her fingers inside the collar of her dress, she drew +out, by a slight chain, a small locket, which contained her mother's +picture and a lock of her white hair. It was a sort of talisman whose +mere touch gave her a sense of comfort. She did not open it now, but +held it between her palms and pressed her cheek against it, standing +there alone, and presently she whispered: + +"What is it, mother darling? What is it that you seem trying to say +to me? Oh, if you can ever speak to me, speak now, and I will listen +as I did not do when you were here beside me! There is something that +I ought to do, and I am not doing it. There is something I am doing +which distresses you. That is the feeling that I have. Oh, my +mother--my lovely, precious, good, good mother--if I had you here, +you would tell me what it is that I ought to do--and I would do it!" + +She ceased her half-inarticulate whispers, and stood intensely +still--almost, it seemed, as if she waited for an answer to them. + +But there came no answer save the still, small voice within her soul, +which had so often tried to speak before, and which even yet she +could not, would not listen to. + +This voice suggested to her with persistent iteration that she should +even now look strictly into the evidence which had so quickly +sufficed to convince her that the young and ardent lover who had +wooed her so passionately, and promised her such loyalty and faith +and devotion, had been false to his professions and his promises +alike. + +Suppose she should investigate; suppose she should get proof that +she as well as he had been falsely dealt with, that he had been true +in every word and thought--what then? Could she endure to keep, after +that, the position of wife to the man who had so deceived and injured +two beings who had believed him? Assuredly she could not. What, then, +would be her alternative? To leave him and go back to the poor life +at home, which her mother's presence had justified and glorified, but +which without that presence, and with the contrast of her present +position in her mind, would be too intolerable a thought to +contemplate. + +No, she had no sufficient reason to doubt the representations that +her husband had made to her. She would try to accept them more +implicitly for the future, and so fight against such disturbing +ideas. There were ample means of diversion within her reach. Her +sojourn abroad would soon begin, and she must fight against any +recurrence of her present mood of weakness. + +If she was to win this fight, however, there was one precaution which +she felt that she must take. This was to avoid the very name of +Horace Spotswood, and, as far as might be possible, every thought of +him as well. + +Her foreign travels began, and she then had the assurance that this +effort would not be difficult of accomplishment. There were a +thousand new issues for Bettina's interest and feelings in her +constantly changing surroundings, and these were sufficiently +absorbing to do away with lately disturbing considerations. The world +had still its powerful charm for Bettina, and she was now seeing the +world in a very fascinating aspect. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +As Bettina had found the London season delightful, and yet had been +quite content to see it close, and as the same had been true of her +experience, both as hostess and as guest, at the country-house +parties which had followed the season, so it was also with her +foreign travels, although she found much to interest and delight her +in the various cities which she visited with Lord Hurdly. He was +received with distinction everywhere--a fact partly due to his +prominent position in Parliament, and partly to his social importance +and the acknowledged beauty of his wife. + +Bettina enjoyed it, certainly, and found it very helpful to her in +carrying out her resolve to banish the agitating thoughts which would +recur whenever she thought of Horace. She had managed to stop +thinking of him almost entirely, and to live only for the +satisfaction of each day as it passed. + +After a while, however, she began to feel that there was a certain +flatness in the sort of pleasure which consisted so largely in being +an object of admiration, for she had not been able herself to feel +much enthusiasm for the people whom she met. She did not make friends +easily, perhaps because she did not greatly care to have friends. Her +mother's delicate health had left her little time for other +companionships, even if she had desired them, and since the loss of +her mother her heart had seemed to close up, and her capacity for +caring for people, never very great, was lessening every day. + +Several times during her travels she had heard Horace spoken of. +On these occasions she had not betrayed the fact that she had +any knowledge of him, and so the talk about him had been quite +unrestrained. She had heard it said by one man that "he was turning +out a very earnest fellow"; by another that "his pamphlets were +making quite a stir"; and, again, that he "might do something worth +while in diplomacy if he'd let philanthropy alone." Another man had +said that "all he needed was to marry money, and he'd have a great +career before him." + +When Bettina returned from her travels these few remarks, overheard +at dinner-tables or in public places, seemed in some unaccountable +way to be the most important things she had secured out of her late +experiences. Certainly they were the most insistently recurring, and +the idea was forced upon her that the way in which men spoke of +Horace Spotswood was a strong contrast to the tone of the letter from +Lord Hurdly's friend. + +All this was a source of distress to her. She would have preferred to +believe the letter, for such a belief would have rid her of the sting +of self-reproach; but, try as she might, she could not wholly get her +consent to it. + +On her way back to England she stopped in Paris to choose her +costumes for the coming season. It was a pleasure to her to try on +these beautiful things, which she bought without any thought of the +cost of them; but it was a pleasure which she had become accustomed +to, and so its keenness was gone. Besides this, she had nothing to +look forward to except the London season, and custom had also +detracted from the zest of that. She was in the attitude of always +looking beyond. Surely, with such a position and such a fortune as +she had attained to, there must be something to satisfy the vague +longing within her which she called desire for happiness. + +It was decided that they were to stay at Kingdon Hall a short time +before going up to town, and Bettina had looked forward to the +freedom of the country life with a hopefulness which reality +disappointed. Here again she thought of Horace, and the possible +injustice she had done him forced its way into her consciousness, and +so disturbed her with doubts and misgivings that she determined to +overcome her reluctance to mention Horace's name to her husband, and +ask boldly whether he had actually received the sum of money which +she had been promised that he should have. It had become so essential +to her to know about this that she determined to use her very first +opportunity of asking. + +Not ten minutes after she had made this resolution she unexpectedly +encountered Lord Hurdly, in crossing a hall. He had been out on +horseback, and still wore his riding-clothes. The correct and +carefully fitted leggings showed legs that were thin and shapeless. +Beneath them were small feet, on which their owner did not step very +firmly. The somewhat showy waistcoat and short coat had an air of +displaying themselves and concealing the form beneath them, which +was perhaps a high tribute to his tailor's art. His chest looked +narrower, his face more wrinkled, his hair thinner, than Bettina had +before noticed them to be, and there was a certain loose-jointedness +in his figure which, as he moved toward her on his narrow and closely +booted feet, gave him the sort of teetering motion of the elderly +beau. His face, neutral and cold as ever, showed the signs of age +less, yet Bettina felt that it masked the inadequacy of his soul as +distinctively as his clothes masked that of his body. + +As they came toward each other--this man and this woman, whose +marriage was supposed to be a union of two into one--the face of each +might, by an eye sensitive to the subtleties of human expression, +have been seen to harden slightly. Lord Hurdly took off his hat with +an automatic motion which might have prompted the thought that the +action arose from his ideal of himself rather than from any +association with the woman before him. + +"Excuse me for detaining you a moment," said Bettina, "but I want to +know whether Horace Spotswood actually received the money which you +made over to him at the time of your marriage to me. I have heard +that he is leading a very active life, on lines where money will be +of great use to him. Naturally I am anxious to be sure of the fact +that he has suffered no injury, however indirectly, through me." + +She had been able to control both her voice and expression +entirely--a fact on which she fervently congratulated herself. + +"You may feel quite at ease on that score, I assure you," Lord Hurdly +answered, in his cold, incisive tones. "He received the money, and +has probably used it for the furtherance of these ridiculous and +sentimental schemes of his. This should give you the gratifying +assurance that he has been bettered, and not worsted, by reason of +his connection with you." + +The tone in which he spoke was galling to Bettina, but she made no +answer, though no words which she could have spoken would have +conveyed a greater resentment of his speech than did her disdainful +silence. She made a motion to move away, but he deliberately placed +himself in front of her, saying, in the same hard tone: + +"It occurred to me, from time to time while we were abroad, that you +were rather eager in gleaning information about the person we have +been speaking of, and I want to tell you that what has been evident +to me may be evident to others. You may not care how the thing +looks, but as I do, perhaps you will be more careful in the future." + +His use of the word "eager" in connection with her attitude in this +affair gave Bettina swift offence, and this feeling was heightened by +the suggestion that she had made herself liable to criticism on such +a subject. + +"You cannot, I think," she answered, in a tone of proud resentment, +"be more careful than I am that I shall act with propriety as your +wife. Since there is so little besides the form to be complied with, +I see the greater necessity for punctiliousness in observing that. +The rebuke you have just given me is utterly unmerited, and I shall +therefore not change my manner of conducting myself in any +particular." + +"Perhaps you will think better of that decision, and will oblige me +by not making yourself conspicuous by holding your breath to listen +whenever that person chances to be mentioned. You are not unlikely to +hear him alluded to during the coming season, as he has been making a +bid for popularity at his new post by taking up the matter of the +famine, and," he added with a sneering smile, "relieving it with the +money I paid him." + +The word cut into Bettina's heart. + +"Paid him?" she said, scrutinizing him with a glance before which +even his hard eyes faltered. "Paid him for what?" + +"Oh, for keeping himself out of my way!" + +She felt that she had compelled him to this response, and that he +would have liked to put it more brutally. As it was, there lurked a +sting in it which provoked her to reply. + +"Did he hold the privilege of your proximity at so large a price?" + +A smile of quiet irony accompanied the words. As it curved her lips +alluringly, Lord Hurdly felt himself touched with the sudden sense of +her powerful charm. No one else on earth would have dared to say this +to him, or anything remotely comparable with it. There was something +very piquant to his jaded palate in the flavor of this audacious +speech. Instead of scowling, therefore, he smiled. + +"I have heard," he said, amiably, "that America was the land of the +free and the home of the brave, and certainly you seem to warrant one +in accepting that belief." + +Bettina, a good deal relieved at this turn of affairs, took the +opportunity that the moment gave her to say, gravely: + +"No; I do not consider myself free. I have bound myself, in my +marriage to you, and I have no intention or desire to forget the +duties which I owe you. But I tell you frankly, Lord Hurdly, that I +am not accustomed to either surveillance or tyranny, and I shall not +tamely submit to them. In the carrying out of this resolution, at +least, you will find that I can be brave." + +She looked more than ordinarily beautiful as she stood erect before +him and said these words, and he had not gazed so fully into her eyes +for a long time. He had almost forgotten their magnetic loveliness. +At sight of them now his pulses beat quicker. A desire for the +mastery of this splendid creature returned to him with a force he +would not have believed possible. + +"Bettina," he said, in a voice which showed an emotion most unusual +to him, "have you ever known what it was to love, I wonder?" + +"Once--once only," she answered, a quaver in her voice and a sudden +suffusion of tears in her eyes. "I loved my mother. No one that ever +lived could have loved more truly and more ardently than I loved her; +but there it began and ended. I never deceived you as to that. I +promised you duty and good faith, and I have not failed in these. I +never shall so fail. But love, no! I haven't it to give." + +She made a movement to go forward, and he stood aside and let her +pass him. She avoided meeting his gaze, and perhaps it was well that +she did. For slowly its expression changed. A look of hardness that +was almost significant of dislike came into his eyes and compressed +his lips. From the day of their marriage this woman had thwarted and +baffled him. He had tried to get the mastery of her, but he had +failed, and the sense of that failure angered him. He had been used +to dominating every one with whom he came into any sort of close +contact. He had married this American girl with the determination to +dominate her, and he had found himself as powerless as if she had +been a mist maiden. There was no way in which he could lay hold upon +her. + +Concerning Bettina's attitude toward him he had a theory. He believed +that she had really loved Horace. She was too absolutely in the +shadow of the sorrow of her mother's death to give full play to any +other feeling, but he had always felt, in every effort that he had +made to win her, that it was the image of Horace Spotswood in her +mind which put him in total eclipse. This theory time had deepened. +His suspicious watchfulness over her every word and look had made +him aware that she listened with interest when Horace's name was +mentioned, and his imagination heightened the effect of her interest, +and caused him to conjecture as to what she might have heard and +felt at such times as he was not by. Moreover, a certain secret +consciousness in his own soul stimulated him in his suspicions. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +During the early weeks of their marriage Lord Hurdly, while changing +his attitude from the solicitude of the pursuer to the masterfulness +of the possessor, had certainly made some effort to win Bettina, +while she, on her part, had tried to oblige him by responding to his +professions for her. Both were aware that this effort had been made +on both sides, and that it had quite failed. By the time the +honey-moon was over, Lord Hurdly had, to all appearance, ceased to +care. The consciousness of this was an immense relief to Bettina, and +she had felt ever since that in doing him credit in the eyes of the +world she would satisfy his first object in having her for a wife. In +this she had not failed. There was a distinct estrangement between +them, but it had never been necessary to define it. Whatever +disagreements there had been, only themselves were aware of. Lord +Hurdly would have felt his authority over her incomplete indeed if +he had ever had to assert it in public. + +As for Bettina, a singular change of feeling was going on within her. +She had made her test of the world, and found that she had overrated +its power to please. It was almost appalling to reflect that there +was no more for her to do than to repeat what she had already done. +Another London season, another autumn in receiving and making visits, +another winter abroad. What then? Was there nothing but material +pleasure for her in the world? She wanted something more, something +different from all this. + +One morning she went out into the park, where spring was just +beginning to put forth its greenery. Leaping footsteps sounded behind +her. It was Comrade, bounding to her side and nestling up against +her. She put her arm around his neck and drew him close. He responded +with an affectionateness that was almost human. + +Almost human! At this thought she began to ask herself how much human +affection there was for her in the world. As much, no doubt, she told +herself, as she had to bestow. But why was this? + +The birds were going wild with song in the branches above her head. +The grass, the trees, the clouds, the sky, seemed all to have been +made to be part of a world for love to dwell in. A great hunger +possessed her--a hunger not to be loved, but to love. For the first +time she found herself longing for this boon, entirely apart from any +idea of her mother. Oh, to have some one with a human, comprehending, +ardent heart, to put her arms around as she was now clasping +Comrade--some one to whom to offer up the wealth of love which she +had once thought she could never give except to her dear mother; some +one who might make that mother's words come true, that a love far +greater than any she had known might be in store for her; some one, +handsome, charming, ardent, loving, sympathetic, kind; some one to be +friend and brother and lover all in one; above all, some one with +thoughts and feelings akin to her own--some one impulsive and +natural--some one young! + +When at last she said good-bye to Comrade and returned to her rooms, +she felt in some strange way that a new era had dawned for her. But +a mood like this was new in her experience, and she fought resolutely +against its recurrence. As an aid to this end she threw herself +more eagerly into the external interests which were so great in +such a position as hers, and became more noted for her splendid +entertainments and rich dressing than she had been the season before. +As she got a deeper insight into the conditions of the life about +her, she saw opportunities for influence and power, even to a woman, +which attracted her. But she was very ignorant. She knew little of +the world and English affairs, and she found the women about her so +well informed on these subjects that she began to feel herself at a +certain disadvantage. This roused her pride, and she set to work to +inform herself on many subjects of which she had hitherto been +ignorant. + +One means to this end was the reading of newspapers, and this +occupation now absorbed a part of every morning. In this way she +occasionally came upon Horace Spotswood's name, and when she did, a +strange agitation would possess her. She could not quite shake off an +influence which this man's life seemed to exert upon hers. Lord +Hurdly would have had her believe that she had bestowed a great +benefit upon Horace, as it was through her that he was in the +possession of his present independent fortune, but there was no voice +so strong as the one in her own heart which told her that she had +wronged him. Here and there she had picked up the impressions of +many different people concerning this young diplomatist, and +unquestionably the aggregated effect was one of admiration. The brief +notices of him which she read in the papers confirmed this impression +of him. He was doing well, for a man of his years, in diplomacy, and +he was doing more than well in the work he had undertaken for the +relief of the famine-stricken population near him. + +It was Horace's interest in this cause which had given rise to +Bettina's interest in it, and she began to read eagerly all that she +could find on the subject. As a result her heart was, for the first +time in her life, awakened to an intense perception of the suffering +of the world at large. It was a new emotion to her, and one which +throbbed through all her consciousness with a power which changed her +individuality even to herself. She began to think for the first time +of the utter recklessness with which she had been spending the large +sums of money which Lord Hurdly placed at her disposal. Her +expenditure of these sums heretofore had met with his entire +approval, as she could never have too rich a wardrobe to please him. +It was all a part of his own glory and importance, and he never asked +a question as to how the money went. + +But now the tide within Bettina's heart had turned. As she read of +the sufferings of these starving people, the thought of her own +excess of luxuriousness sickened her. The more she felt within her +soul that nameless sadness which no outside help could relieve, the +more she felt it urgent upon her to relieve the wants of others when +this assuagement lay within her actual power. + +It may seem strange that, with a mother who had a large-hearted +sympathy with all sorrow, Bettina should have kept her own heart so +closed to the suffering outside it; but no seed can sprout until the +soil is prepared for it, and up to this period of her life the ground +of Bettina's heart had been unprepared. + +Now, however, all was changed. She went to balls and dinners, as her +position as Lord Hurdly's wife demanded, but her heart was elsewhere. +She began to economize strictly in her personal expenditure, and +collected all the ready money she could lay her hands on, both from +her husband's allowance and from her own small private fortune, and +sent it anonymously to the Indian famine fund. + +This contribution was sent in with no other identification than "From +B.," written on the card which accompanied it. How could Bettina +have dreamed that any living soul would connect her with it? + +She was not unaware, however, that she was constantly watched by her +husband. Since she had become interested in her new pursuits he +observed her more closely than ever, and on the morning of the +publication in the papers of the special additions to the famine fund +which contained her own subscription Lord Hurdly, with apparently no +reason at all, read the list aloud to her across the breakfast table. + +When he came to the item "From B.," he paused and looked at her +searchingly. + +Bettina felt her face turn red. + +[Illustration: "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'"] + +"I thought so," said her husband, with a strange mixture of +satisfaction and anger in his hard tones. "I have been expecting some +such foolery as this for some time, and I am not blinded to the +motive behind it. What do you care about those devils of Indian +savages? What does Horace Spotswood care about them? Just as little! +Enough, and too much, of my money has gone already to the prolonging +of their worthless lives. If that graceless cub chooses to go on +wasting money on them he can do it, but I take this occasion to +inform you, Lady Hurdly--and I'd advise you to remember what I +say--that I do not choose that any more of my money shall go in that +direction. Do you understand?" + +There was an insolence in his tone which he had never used to her +before. She resented it keenly. Rising to her feet, with an instinct +which forbade her to preside over the table at the other end of which +he was seated as master, she said, with a tinge of anger in her quiet +tones: + +"The money was partly my own--from my mother's little fortune; and +she would have held, with me, that I could put it to no more holy +use. As to the rest, I understood that that also was my own. I did +not know that you required of me an account of how I used it." + +"How you used it? You may light your fire with it, for all I care! +But there is one thing for which I do care, and which I mean to see +nipped in the bud; and that is this ridiculous sentimentality which +you are indulging in over Horace Spotswood. If you are regretting +your young lover, that is your own affair, but when you come to +flaunt this regret before the eyes of the public it becomes my +affair, and as such I propose to put a stop to it." + +Bettina trembled with the rage of resentment that possessed her. She +recollected herself enough, however, not to speak until she had +paused long enough to be sure that she could control herself. Then +she said: + +"You are forgetting yourself, Lord Hurdly, when you presume to speak +to me as you have just done. I have given you no occasion to do so, +and you know it. If there are certain regrets in my marriage to you, +your present conduct justifies them. But permit me to say, on my +side, that I can imagine no explanation of your behavior, except to +suppose that it proceeds from a consciousness in your own mind of +having wronged this man." + +She was looking at him narrowly. His features did not flush, nor did +his cold eyes falter. And yet, in spite of the long habit of +guardedness which now stood him in such good stead, there was a +consciousness about him, like an atmosphere, which told her that her +thrust had drawn blood. + +"I thought so!" she said, using the very words which he had used to +her. "I have for a long time been struggling in my mind against a +doubt which sometimes would arise, that I might have been deceived. +Everywhere, in public and in private, that I hear that young man +spoken of, it is with words of confidence, admiration, and +affection." + +Still her penetrating gaze was on him, and still he bore it without +flinching. + +"You saw the letter," he said, with a sneer. "If that was not enough +for you--" He broke off with a harsh, unpleasant laugh. + +"It was enough," she said. "Surely it has sufficed to fix my fate in +life. But it is possible that that letter gave an exaggerated +account. Still, if the half of it was so, I was more than justified +in cutting loose from him. No one could possibly blame me." + +"No one does, so far as I can see," was the malicious answer. "I hear +of no complaints from others, and certainly I have uttered none. You +make a very satisfactory Lady Hurdly, and I suppose you get enough +out of the position to repay you for anything you may have lost--at +least, from the world's point of view, you should have done so." + +Bettina did not answer at once. A sickness of soul was creeping over +her that made all life look suddenly loathsome. The one feeble ray +that penetrated the darkness in which she felt herself enveloped was +the help that came from a certain ideal which she had recently +enthroned in her own heart. As the world's need, the wider issues +affecting the myriad lives beyond her own, had recently been brought +before her consciousness, she had felt her way, as simply and weakly +as a child might have done, to one plain principle of life--that it +was worth while to try to be good. Never had she felt so keenly as in +this minute the utter futility of hoping to be happy. Yet in this +minute she felt more than ever, also, that happiness was not all. + +It was only rarely that she had any personal talk with her husband. +The wall of separation between them seemed to be thickening by silent +accretion all the time. It was very difficult to scale this wall, and +she felt that any effort to do so irked him no less than it did her. +So, with an instinct not to let go the present opportunity, she said, +rather eagerly, as he was rising to go away: + +"Sit down a moment. We do not often speak together. I have something +on my mind to say to you." + +He resumed his seat and lighted a cigar--an action which discouraged +her by its nonchalance. Still, she was determined to go on. By a +great effort she made her voice very gentle, as she said: + +"I know I have disappointed you in what you had hoped from this +marriage between us, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. If I +have not been able to give you the feeling which you desired--" + +He interrupted her. + +"Feeling?" he said. "Who wants feeling nowadays in a wife? No one +expects it. I wanted some one to make a handsome figure as Lady +Hurdly. I expected that you would do that, and you have not +disappointed me." + +"If this is true, I'm glad to know it," she said; "but, at any rate, +you could not blame me for not giving you the love another woman +might have given you. I never deceived you as to that. I told +you I had not that love to give; not--as you have so unjustly +hinted--because I had given it to another man, but because I was then +incapable of love. I had no thought of any one beyond myself. I was +miserably ignorant and egoistic. It was in ignorance and egoism that +I took the position of your wife, but I think from the first that I +have tried, as I could, to fulfil its obligations. I have tried to be +and to appear what you would wish. And I am not unmindful of the +honor and distinction which my marriage to you has conferred upon +me." + +"Gad! I should hope not! One of the biggest positions in England!" he +exclaimed, in a tone of scornful irritation. With these words he rose +and left the room. + +Bettina's pride was deeply wounded. It had been that new assertion of +the control of duty which had led her to say these things to her +husband. She had conquered much in herself before speaking, and she +felt that she had a right to resent the almost brutal insensibility +with which he had received her words. + +As she turned from the breakfast-room and mounted to her own +apartments she felt conscious of a new humiliation in her life. Up to +this time she had believed that Lord Hurdly would have been incapable +of such speech as he had used to her that morning. She had done a +good deal--more than was required of her, she told herself--in +speaking to him as she had done after his words in the early part of +their conversation, and now it seemed plain to her that she had +fulfilled her whole duty toward him, and that if it had done no good, +the fault was on his side and not on hers. + +Once in her own rooms, she gave herself up to profoundly sorrowful +thoughts. She was only twenty-two. How long the path of her future +life looked, and whither would it lead? She had attained all that +any woman could desire in the way of the world's bestowment. She did +not underrate the value of this. On the contrary, it was as essential +to one part of her nature as something far different in the way of +human possibility was to another part. She did not lose her hold upon +the actual because she was striving after the unattained. All this +power and admiration was very important to her, though she felt the +insufficiency of mere worldly prosperity. "Pleasure to have it, none; +to lose it, pain," were words that very nearly fitted her state of +mind. At the thought of going back to the obscurity she had come out +of she shrank. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +That talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch in their relations +to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its +impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done +all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to +a true and amicable understanding with her husband, and, after it, +she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight +into Bettina's nature which he had not had before. He found her to +be possessed of a power of caustic speech which, he was bound to +acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that +he had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy over her quite +so conclusively as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an +uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, +that it might be better for him to think twice in future before +crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition, and who +was quite unused to dealing with it in his own house. He was still +master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired +to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion +with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving +which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already +endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming +again into close quarters with Bettina. + +This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which +might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to +watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on +the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again +referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of +Horace Spotswood. + +Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and +held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up +against her which might one day be brought before her all at once. + +She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things +beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by +indulgence. When she looked about her in the great throbbing life of +London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand +waiting for her interest and participation that she was soon caught +in the strong movement of woman's work in social life in its wider +and deeper meaning. + +No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest +herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a +new and delightful consciousness to her that she might become part of +the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she +threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm. + +Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position +was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she +might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots +of those who were at the other extreme of life's scale from her, +whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had +as little value at one end as at the other. + +Apart from these considerations of pure altruism was the sweet +thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that +she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another +thought would come. This was that, far apart as their lives must be, +she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and +perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each--namely, that the +record of the future might help to compensate for the mistakes and +wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately hoping that +he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to +throw hers. + +Under these changed conditions, Bettina's second season in London was +unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some +unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated with the +"scorn for miserable aims that end with self," and by the time that +she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so +informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure +which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its +opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal +supervision of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was +eager to enter into. She had awakened to the duty of looking after +the interests of tenants and the good of the parish. + +Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or +not she was unable to guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical and +distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered, but +she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he +felt that her prominence in philanthropic activities, which had been +approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon +himself. + +For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the +man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic +to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most +people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and +breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening. + +She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her +visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation into the +needs of her husband's tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, +and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to +leave for a few days' hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he +said to her, at the moment of departure: + +"I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which +you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. +The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left these matters to +their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now +so that I may see no signs of interference on my return." + +It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he +was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of +haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this +way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no +intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on +his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his +gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent +upon his task, under frowning brows. + +His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her +were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of +disappointment. She did not often take a humble tone with him, but +there was humility as well as entreaty in her voice as she now said, + +"You won't forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a +little better for them, if I can, will you?" + +"I forbid all interference," he answered, in a tone that made her +feel that he relished the exercise of his power. "You can safely +leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently +well in my hands so far." + +At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, +but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage +that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities were now less +insistent than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped +to be able to alleviate. + +"Oh, indeed you are mistaken!" she said, urgently. "You do not know +how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply +them with. Don't refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to +my heart." + +She saw his face grow harder. + +"It is also," he said, "near my pocket. Going in for charity is all +very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere with your doing +so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to +stop it." + +His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the +position of being entreated by her. She had an instinct to retort +sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was +a new sensation to her--a willingness to humble her pride that others +might be benefited. + +"I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you +approved it," she said, "and I will promise you to regulate my public +charities in future strictly in accordance with whatever limitations +you may set. But don't refuse to let me work a little here--it will +not take much money--among the poor at our very doors." + +Instead of softening him, as she had hoped that this attitude of +humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She +had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, +because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing. + +He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her +waiting. His gloves were now neatly fastened on his long thin hands, +and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded +to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do +so, as he would certainly have done at one time--as he would also, +undoubtedly, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. +Still, these signs of a diminished deference toward her touched her +lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer +to her question. + +She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was +now puffing from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak. + +Always scrupulously careful in small things, he walked to the window +to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came +over her that he did not intend to answer her last words. + +Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart +rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several +days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to +contemplate. As he moved toward the door she said: + +"You have not answered me." + +"I beg your pardon," he said, with chill politeness. "I answered you +in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants' +affairs where they properly belong--with me." + +So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went. + +Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from +the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an +arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she +ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat +her so? + +With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see +if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which +now seemed to be in her husband's mind. With every desire to be +honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not +answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for +he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know +of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not +that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she +chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the +mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the +relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of +his meek little mother and masterful-looking father. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Bettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections +but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of +those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences, +seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of +all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits +and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were +before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been +killed in the hunting-field. + +Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of +her mother's noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat +complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded +most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and +regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be +changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed +in her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who +had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She +had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had +seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least +symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that +he was dead. + +How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their +last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him +at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had +known-- + +Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they +found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet. + +"Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?" said +Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. "They was +that 'aughty to one another before people! But it's them as feels the +most, sometimes." + +This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a +response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue. + +It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress's apartments, where +Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the +arrival of Lord Hurdly's body were being made. After her profound +emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was +the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness +of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now. + +How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things +seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new +conditions. + +Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be +done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to +do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the +rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was +with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility +of Horace's arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get +away somewhere before he came. + +Those days when her husband's body lay in the apartment near her, and +the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his +lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of +the real awakening of Bettina's soul. The sense of freedom which her +position now secured to her, the power to do and be what she chose, +was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her +experience the woman and the hour were met. + +When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had +been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the +heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so +small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for +the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which +saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a +passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs +of others. + +She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life +should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her +vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These +would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have +money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of +the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her, +but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and +she had no misgivings on that score. + +At last the funeral was over and the house was rid of guests. +Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and +bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector's aid, had managed to +get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course +of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute +unadjustment to her new situation. + +It had turned out that Lord Hurdly had left her an income of one +thousand pounds. Her first realization of the smallness of this +provision for her came from the rector's comment, which was spoken in +a tone as if reluctantly censorious. + +"I should not have believed Lord Hurdly capable of such a thing," he +said. "I am sure that all who have cared for his honorable reputation +must regret this as much on his account as on yours." + +"Is it so little?" said Bettina, too proud to show disappointment. "A +thousand pounds a year seems a sufficient sum for the support of one +woman." + +"For some women, perhaps," was the answer, "but not for the woman who +has once held the position of mistress of Kingdon Hall. I repeat that +I would not have believed it of Lord Hurdly." + +Bettina did not hear his last emphatic words, or, at all events, +took no conscious cognizance of them. She was absorbed in the +contemplation of her new condition. How strange it seemed! + +It was something more than strange. She had been too long in +possession of the power and importance of being the reigning Lady +Hurdly, so to speak, not to feel a real revolt at the idea of seeing +herself laid on the shelf. It would not necessarily be so bad if she +had had ample means, for she had made a place for herself in the +world. But she was certain, from the air of commiseration with which +not only the rector but others had regarded her, that she would be +extremely curtailed in such opportunities as depended upon money; and +she had sufficient insight into social affairs to know how the +possession of money broadened opportunity, and the absence of it +limited power. + +There was no denying to herself the pain that it gave her to +relinquish such a position. She had accommodated herself to greatness +so naturally that it seemed incredible that she was to sink back into +a life of obscurity. Frankly, she did not like it. + +And yet, on the other hand, she felt an unfeigned gladness that +Horace was to come to his own. She rejoiced that no child of hers +would ever stand in his way. She had reason to hope that he would use +his great position to great ends, for the residuum of all her turbid +and agitating thoughts about him was an admiration for the man in his +attitude toward the world, no matter how much she still resented his +attitude toward herself. That this last was so, there needed no +stronger proof than her eager resolution to get away from Kingdon +Hall--out of the country, if possible--before the arrival of the man +whose place her husband had once taken, and who, in another sense, +was now to take his. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +It was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of +her life consequent upon her husband's extremely small provision for +her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a +mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America, +in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it +would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for +good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little +joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the +best substitute that can be offered for joy--active and interesting +occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation +of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed +to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the +money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek +some work for the faculties which she had only lately realized that +she possessed. + +In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the +altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her. +She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a +more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling +her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have +had some intention of this sort. + +That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when +he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to +him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to +America to live. + +Under other conditions her husband's wish would have greatly +influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. +She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was +not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight +implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of +loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her +best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his +wishes. These had often conflicted with her own, but in such cases +she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been +treated with injustice. + +The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of +Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was +bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated +her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild +impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of +her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a +short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace +should arrive. + +One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him. +It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these +words: "Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably +detained here.--SPOTSWOOD." + +This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to +her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. +Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away +as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the +conditions of his cousin's will. Not one penny had been left him +except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly's personal +fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace +was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and +noble title. + +The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected +Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others +had been signed "Hurdly." Several of these she had seen. It seemed to +her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to +refrain from the use of her husband's name in addressing her. He had +always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least +so it had seemed. + +The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more +confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She +felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this +telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to +do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word +that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her. + +When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious bow, Bettina +received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become +distinctly more haughty since her descent in the scale of social and +pecuniary importance. + +Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but +remained standing, with his hat in his hand, as he said: + +"A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. +Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a +letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person +upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the +fulfilment of that trust." + +Bettina looked at him in amazement. + +"There must be some mistake," she said. "I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam +Clarke. I have never even heard his name." + +"That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant +for you." + +Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain +incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a +window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the +following sentences: + + "MY DEAR LADY HURDLY,--Should this letter ever come to your + eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left + instructions that it shall be delivered only in the event + of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have + passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can + be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding + which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was + impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of + human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one + wrong which came about through me will have been repaired + by me. I am aware that the rupture of your engagement of + marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a + letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting to come + from an altogether trustworthy source--a man who was on the + spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. + I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly + for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I + need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one + of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you + ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we + shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make + reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped + to inflict upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I + allude to the man who, when you read these words, will bear + the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of + him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a + nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well + discredit any assurance which comes by means of me, and I + do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to + accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my + statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is + well known, and once your ears are open you will hear + enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I + have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a + power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of + my life. + + "That I may possibly by this letter do something, however + late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation on + leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life + I go an ineradicable resentment against the man who was + Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent and + admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read + this, will bear the noble name and title which his + predecessor, if the truth about him could be known, has so + soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most + indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man. + + "In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I do of all the + world, such gentle judgment as Christian hearts may find it + in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of + weakness rather than malice, and who did the evil work of a + malicious man because he had not strength to brave what + that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in + punishment of the resistance of his will. + + "Your ladyship's repentant and unhappy servant, + + "FITZWILLIAM CLARKE." + +Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that +she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its +envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin's +figure half hid by the heavy curtains. + +"Mr. Cortlin," she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her +side, "I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of +the contents of this letter." + +"I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered +to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told +me." + +"Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?" +she asked next. + +"I had, my lady. He was in the confidence of his late lordship, who +intrusted to him many of his private affairs." + +"The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?" + +"So I have understood, my lady. Formerly he was in the army, and I +have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even +heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord +Hurdly's influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story +was hushed up, but he resigned." + +Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening +confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was +too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting spell that +she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come +to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness. + +As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To +go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace +unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered. Yet to explain it +under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation of this +interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, +ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. When Nora came she found +her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness. + +After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, +Bettina began to long to get away--quite, quite away into another +world--before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this +one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such +matters as required immediate attention and decision. She could not +refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to +herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see +what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She +had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there +was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the +mournful interest that attached to her mother's grave. + +She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his +request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she +was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She +also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he +could make his plans to do so. + +The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. +There were numerous business matters which she had to be consulted +about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate +which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for +reform, and revived in her her ardent longing to have a hand in these +reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away +heart-sickened. + +There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly's relations which had to +be received, an ordeal that would have tried Bettina sorely had it +not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation of +Horace Spotswood's character, nature, actions, interests, habits, +etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had +never had one instant's doubt of the truth of every word contained in +that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these +people and draw forth the manifestations of their delight at having +Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this +fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their +ardent appreciation of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal +dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors. + +Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left +alone to the mingled sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as +mistress of Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished +as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she +was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with +them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be +borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing +forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held +in the great world. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Bettina was writing in the library one morning when her attention was +arrested by the sound of an approaching footstep. The next moment a +servant announced, + +"Lord Hurdly." + +At this name she started violently. So long accustomed to associate +it with one person, she forgot for the instant that another bore it +now. As she rose, startled and expectant, through the portière held +back by the servant there entered a man whose sharp dissimilarity to +the image in her mind made her catch her breath. + +The next second she knew that it was Horace, and realized that she +was trembling from head to foot. The breadth of the room was between +them, for he had paused just within the door, nodding to the servant +to withdraw. + +He stood there an instant in silence. + +Perhaps she was no more startled by the surprise which the sight of +him occasioned than was he at the sight of her; but the quality of +the surprise was different. It was her beauty, her so far more than +recollected beauty, which had arrested him and held him spellbound. +He had left her sick with grief about her mother, the color faded +from her cheeks, her eyes dulled with weeping. There had been, +moreover, in her expression an apathy which his ardent words had +failed to do away with. Besides these inherent things, the extrinsic +points were glaringly a contrast to the present ones. Then her +somewhat too slight figure had been dressed in gowns of village make +and fit, and her lovely hair had been carelessly wound up, without +regard to fashion or effect. + +Now he saw confronting him a woman whom nature had endowed with a +rare beauty, and for whom art had also done its best in the matter of +outward adornment. True, she was clad in plain unrelieved black from +head to foot, but no other costume could have so exquisitely +displayed her glowing loveliness of coloring or the pure correctness +of her outlines. + +During the few seconds in which they stood looking at each other she +had perceived also a great change in him. It was of a very different +character, but it made all the more a strong appeal to her, for he +was mysteriously aged. Not only had the Eastern sun turned to bronze +the once ruddy hues of his skin, but he had also lost flesh, and his +hair was getting streaks of gray in it. His figure, too, was sparer, +but it looked more powerful than ever; and still more apparent was +the added look of strength in the familiar and yet subtly altered +face. + +There was no pause long enough to be embarrassing before he spoke. + +"I hope you will excuse me," he said (and, oh, the voice was altered +too, unless she had forgotten that rich, vibrating tone in it!), "for +coming upon you so suddenly. I know I should have given warning, but +I had what I think a sufficient reason for not doing so. I am hoping +earnestly that you will agree with me when you have heard it." + +"Pray sit down," said Bettina, speaking mechanically, and from the +mere instinct of observance of ordinary forms. She had no sooner +spoken than she remembered that it was his own house, of which she +was doing the honors to him. If he remembered it also, he gave no +sign, for he took the chair she indicated, with the conventional +"Thank you" of an ordinary visitor. + +Bettina also had sunk into her chair, and sat quite still, with her +white hands clasped together on the dense black of her dress. She +could not speak, yet she dreaded lest, in the silence, he might hear +the beating of her heart. Its soft thuds were plainly audible to her, +and all the blood from her cheeks seemed to have gone there. + +"In any event, I should have been obliged to come to England soon," +said her companion, "but I should have put it off longer had I not +felt it important to come on your account." + +Bettina's eyes expressed a questioning surprise. + +"On my account?" she said, vaguely. + +"Certainly," was the prompt, decided answer. "The only responsibility +which comes near to me in my new and strange position is that of +protecting the honor and credit of the name I have assumed. These, +you will excuse me for saying, have been seriously, I may even say +shamefully, disregarded by the terms of the late Lord Hurdly's will." + +Bettina's eyes had still that vague and puzzled look. She had not the +least comprehension of what he meant. Could he be resenting the fact +that, so far as it was practicable for him to do so, his cousin had +disinherited him? But no, that was impossible. As she remained silent +and expectant, he went on: + +"Since he chose to disregard the duty and dignity of his position, it +is for me, who must now bear his name, to repair that wrong so far as +it is in my power to do so. It is for that explicit purpose that I am +now come to speak to you." + +Still Bettina looked perplexed. + +"I don't understand exactly in what way the will has displeased you," +she said. "There was a great deal of it that I hardly took in. But in +any case there is nothing for me to do. As you know, my services have +not been asked, and certainly there is no place for them. I have +nothing whatever to do with the executing of Lord Hurdly's will. +Indeed, my plans are all made to return to America immediately." + +"I cannot be surprised at your decision," he said, with a certain +resentment in his voice which she did not understand. "Certainly it +would be natural for you to wish to shake off the dust of this land +from your feet. But wherever you may choose to live for the future, +it is my duty to see that you live as becomes the widow of Lord +Hurdly, and it is for this purpose that I have hastened to get here +before you should be gone." + +All was now clear, and with the illumination which had come to her +from these words of his the color flooded her pale cheeks. Her first +sensation was of keenly wounded pride. + +"You might have spared yourself such haste," she said. "If you had +taken the slight trouble to write to me, I could have saved you the +long and hurried journey. So far from wishing to have more money than +what I am legally entitled to, it is my purpose and decision to take +nothing. I have of my own enough to live upon in the simple way in +which I shall live for the future. Did you think so ill of me as to +suppose that I would wish to grasp at more than my husband saw fit to +leave me--or to take money at your hands?" + +It was her instinct of pride which had caused her to use the words +"my husband," which another instinct at the same moment urged her to +repudiate. But pride was now the uppermost feeling of her heart, and +it supplied her with a sudden and sufficient strength for this hour's +need. + +"This is in no sense a question between you and your late husband," +said Horace. (Was there not in him also a certain hesitation at that +word, and did not the same feeling as in her compel him to its use?) +"Nor is it a question between you and me. The obviously simple issue +is what propriety demands as to the manner in which the widow of +Lord Hurdly is provided for. It belongs to my own sense of the +dignity of my position that the late Lord Hurdly's widow should be +situated as becomes her name and title, and I am determined to see +that this is done." + +"Determined," she said, a certain defiance in her quiet tone, "is not +the word for this case. You may determine as you choose, but what +will it avail if I determine not to touch a penny belonging to either +the late or the present Lord Hurdly? You are very careful of the +dignity of your position. I must also look to mine, which you seem +strangely to have forgotten." + +His expression showed her plainly that these words of hers had cut +deep into his consciousness. A swift compunction seized her heart, +but her pride was still in the supremacy, and enabled her to stifle +the feeling. + +"I have not forgotten it," he said. "It is because I have been +mindful of the dignity of your position that I have urged this thing +upon you. The conditions of the will need not be generally known if +you will accept the right and proper income, which I wish, above all +things, to see you have. Can you not believe me sincere in my desire +to remove the indignity put upon you by a member of my family, and +the bearer before me of a name and position of which it has now +become my duty to maintain the credit? And can you not believe me +just enough and kind enough to wish to see this done for your sake as +well as for my own?" + +Bettina's face continued proudly hard. If the gentleness of her +companion's expression, the kindness of his manner, the delicate +respect of his tones, made any appeal to her woman's heart, the +all-potency of her pride enabled her to conceal it. But the struggle +between the two feelings at war within her made a desperate demand +upon her strength. She felt that she would do well to put an end to +this interview as soon as practicable. With this purpose she said, +abruptly: + +"I am willing to do full justice to your motives, but they cannot +affect my action. My mind is quite made up. I shall return to America +at once, and there the credit of Lord Hurdly's name will not suffer +any hurt, since I shall be practically out of the world. Certainly I +shall be forever removed from the world in which his life will be +spent. Do not think that I shall regret it. I shall not. My +experience of your world has shown me that the mere possession of +money, rank, position, influence, is powerless to bring happiness. I +thought once that if I should come to have these I could get pleasure +and satisfaction from them, but I was wrong. My nature inherently +loved importance and display, but I mistook the unessential for the +essential. If I had had all these external things, together with the +satisfaction of the inward needs, they might have made me happy. In +themselves I have proved them to be worthless." + +She was compelled to say these words. The intimate knowledge of the +character of her husband which had come to her after marriage made +her long that Horace should know that had she really comprehended the +man as he perhaps had known him all the while, she never could have +become his wife. It was impossible for her to tell him this, but she +caught eagerly at her present opportunity of letting him know that +she had had no duty toward her late husband beyond the mere formal +obligation of her wifehood. She could not bear Horace to think that +she had loved him. Even now, under the softening influence that death +imparts, that thought was intolerable to her. This was quite aside +from his treatment of her in his will, which, indeed, was strangely +little to her. It was the memory of the crafty and common nature +under that polished exterior that made her recoil from the thought +of him now. + +If this feeling was strengthened by the contrast of the personality +now present to her gaze, how could she be blamed? Surely the man who +stood before her might have seemed to answer any woman's heart's +desire as lover, companion, friend. How her conscience smote her for +the doubts she had once had of him! When she remembered whose +treachery it was that had created these doubts, there was hate in her +heart. + +She did not wish him to see the expression of this feeling in her +face, so she rose abruptly and turned from him. As if he understood +her, he rose also, and crossed the room to the desk at which she had +been seated on his entrance. + +Here were heaped papers and memoranda connected with the Kingdon Hall +estates. Evidently he recognized their character, for he said: + +"At least you have not refused to give me the help that I asked. I've +been talking to Kirke, and he tells me you have been taking an +interest in the affairs of the tenants. Thank you for this." + +In an instant the bitterness in Bettina's heart was changed into a +new and softer emotion. She saw the opportunity of effecting now what +she had been so powerless to effect in the past. Forgetting +everything else, she came quickly to his side and took up one of the +papers. This was in her own handwriting, and was a memorandum of some +length. She held it away from him a moment, her face flushing, and a +look of hesitation showing on it. + +"I never intended that you should see this," she said. "I began it +long ago, and had to put it by; but recently I have taken it up +again, without really knowing why, except that all my whole heart was +in it." + +"What is it?" he asked. "I beg you to let me see it." + +"No," she said. "It is not my affair, and I must remember that. It +concerns some most deplorable facts which I have discovered +concerning the management of the Kingdon Hall estates, but--" + +"Then it is my affair," he interrupted her; "and since you know what +these abuses are, and have looked into them, you surely will not +deprive me of the help that you could give. I ask it as a favor." + +Still Bettina hesitated, but he could see that she was longing to +comply. He could imagine, also, what it was that held her back. + +"Not as a favor to me," he hastened to add; "I appeal to you in the +name of these poor tenants, who have been so long neglected and +abused. This is no new thing to me. I have seen it going on from the +time I was a boy here, and I can truly say that almost the only +pleasure that I have looked forward to in succeeding to the estates +has been the righting of these wrongs. Surely you will not refuse to +help me to do this." + +For answer, Bettina turned upon him a pair of ardent eyes that swam +with tears. + +"Oh, are you really going to do this blessed, glorious thing?" she +said. She had forgotten herself for the moment, and was thinking only +of them--the wretched beings whose wrongs had so long oppressed her, +and who, it seemed, were to have justice and care and kindness at +last. "You don't know how hideous the condition of these poor +creatures is, and how impossible it has been for me to do anything in +the past. To think there is some one who will let me tell about it at +last and give the help that is so needed! But you can do nothing with +such a steward as Kirke. His heart is as cold as ice." + +"Kirke shall go at once. I have long believed that he was unworthy of +the position he holds. If you will give me the benefit of your +investigation and insight into the situation you will save me much +trouble, and you can also feel that these poor people will be that +much nearer to having their distress relieved." + +At these prompt, determined words her heart swelled, and again tears +brimmed her eyes. + +"Oh, thank God that you will help them!" she said. "Now that I am +sure of that, I can go away contented. It would have broken my heart +to leave them so--yet I had not dared to hope that I could do +anything. You have no idea of the extent of it. It will take a great +deal of money to give them new houses, proper sanitary conditions, +and all the things they need." + +"Never mind that--only tell me what to do." + +"But _can_ you do it? I know how comparatively limited you are as to +money." + +"Comparatively only," he said, reassuringly. "I have much less than +my predecessor had, but fortunately I have little pride and simple +tastes. I can let the place in Leicestershire, where the hunting is +good, and I can also lease the town house if necessary. Pray consider +that the question of money is disposed of. I assure you that does not +enter into it." + +Thus invited, Bettina sat down before the desk, while he took a seat +near by, and with the papers before her she went fully into the +questions at issue, showing a grasp of the situation which soon +testified to her companion that she had studied it to some purpose. +All the changes which she recommended were approved, but more than +once his attention was diverted from the purpose of the future to an +indignant contempt for the delinquencies of the past. It was hard for +him to constrain himself to silence as to this, but Bettina thanked +him in her heart for the successful effort which he made. She was too +abject in her sense of compunction for her own past to feel inclined +to severe judgment of another, and in her joy that these cherished +plans of hers were to be immediately realized she was able to put by +for the moment more personal trouble. She spoke with a fervor that +made her beautiful face wellnigh adorable in its kind compassion, and +when she would describe the wrongs and hardships of these poor simple +folk her eyes at times would fill with tears of pity and her voice +would tremble. + +She knew it not, but in this hour she was making a new revelation of +herself to Horace, which answered to the need of his maturer nature +as marvellously as the Bettina of old had satisfied the needs of the +ardent young fellow that he was then. If he remembered that Bettina +only as being beautiful and beloved, he saw in this one a far nobler +and more perfect beauty, as he recognized in her qualities more +worthy to command love. + +Here they were alone together, in a mood of extraordinary openness +and sincerity, for they were thinking the same thoughts of +helpfulness to others, and there was not an atom of the embarrassment +of their personal relationship to come between them now. It was not +singular, therefore, that he, for his part, should have longed to +speak to her, heart to heart, of that mysterious thing which had +divided them, and to tell her that, in spite of all--in spite of +facts that had been flaunted before his eyes in society, in the +public prints, and everywhere--he had never quite succeeded in +stilling a small voice in his soul which had continued to declare +that the young girl to whom he had so passionately given his love was +less fickle and unfaithful than these facts had shown her to be. Now, +more than ever, this insistent voice repeated itself. How he longed +to ask her the simple question! But then came common-sense, and +demanded, What question? Was there any question which he could ask +her to which the fact and conditions of her marriage to Lord Hurdly +were not a final answer? + +As for Bettina, she had also her longings to take advantage of +that interview, when they were speaking together in such friendly +converse, by telling him of the letter of confession which she had +received, but pride here took the place of common-sense, and bade +her to be silent. + +They had gone over all the papers together now. There was no longer +any excuse for lingering. He had given and repeated his assurances +that all these abuses which she so lamented should be remedied, and +she had thanked him again and again. Both felt that the time to part +had come. And yet both felt an impulse to postpone it. It was her +consciousness of this feeling which now made Bettina act. There was +an influence from his very presence which alarmed her. + +"I must go now," she said, her voice a shade unsteady. + +"No, it is I who am going," was the answer. "I return at once to +London, as I have neither the right nor the desire to intrude upon +your privacy. I wish to say, however, that I do not accept your +decision as to your future income. I beg you to give my wish, my +earnest request, your consideration. I shall write to you. Perhaps +I can put the case more clearly so. At all events, I shall try." + +Bettina shook her head. + +"You will simply waste your time," she said. "Nothing can change me +from my purpose of going at once to America, with no income but my +own little inheritance, and taking up my old life there." + +The word inheritance had suggested to both of them the thought of her +mother. They saw the consciousness in each other's eyes. + +"How can you take up your old life there," he said, "when the +presence which made its interest, its very atmosphere, is gone? It is +enough to kill you--and you will not have money to live elsewhere." + +The keen solicitude in voice and eyes could not be mistaken. It +was evident that he cared for what she might suffer--what might +ultimately become of her. The thought was rapture to her starved +and lonely heart. + +"I must bear it," she said, trying to control her voice as well as +her face. "Life will be no harder to me there than elsewhere." + +"You are wrong. In no other spot on earth will the loss of your +mother so oppress you. I know what that has been to you, by my +consciousness of what that possession was. And remember one thing, +which gives me some right to speak to you as I am doing now--I loved +your mother and she also loved me." + +At these words and the tones that accompanied them Bettina's strength +gave way. She dropped back in the seat from which she had risen, and, +hiding her face in her hands, burst into tears. + +She could not see the effect of her weeping on the man, who still +stood motionless and erect before her. She did not know that the +tears sprang into his eyes also, and that the whispered utterance of +her name was on his lips. + +He heard it, however, though she did not, and the knowledge that he +had lost control of himself made him turn away and walk to the other +end of the room. + +When he had stood there a few seconds, with his back turned, he heard +her voice, somewhat shaken, though with the accent of recovered +self-possession, saying, in a tone of summons, + +"Lord Hurdly--" + +An inward revolt sprung up at being so addressed by her. The name had +only sinister associations for him in any case, but to hear it from +Bettina's lips filled him with a sort of rage. + +"Lord Hurdly," she said again, and this time her voice had gained in +steadiness, until it sounded mechanical and hard. + +"I wish to express to you," she said, when he had drawn a little +nearer, "my thanks for your kind intentions concerning me. I can only +repeat, however, that my decision is quite fixed, and that I shall +carry out the plans I have made known to you. Do not urge me further. +Do not write to me. It will be useless. Let me go back to the life +from which you never should have taken me. You were mistaken in +me from the first, and I have been nothing but a trouble and a +hinderance to you. I am sorry. I ask you to forget it all if you can. +But, above all things, I ask, if you would really help me and serve +me in the one way in which I can be helped by you, that you will +consider that the present moment closes our intercourse in every way, +and will show me the respect, little as I deserve it, of proving to +me that in this one instance, at least, you believe me capable of +acting with rectitude and dignity, and of meaning what I say." + +He did not answer her. He only stood profoundly still and looked at +her. That gaze, the searching, scrutinizing power of it, made her +afraid. Trembling with terror of what she might reveal in answer to +it, she turned suddenly and vanished through a door behind her, +leaving him standing there, and with a consciousness that his keen +eyes were on her yet, reading what she so ardently desired to +conceal. + +Once in her own room, she locked the door, and then ran swiftly to +the window, which gave her a view of the terrace below. + +There she saw waiting a hired trap, with its driver drowsing in the +sunlight. As she looked, she saw the man from whom she had just +parted come rather slowly down the steps and get into the shabby +conveyance. His hat-brim hid the upper part of his face, but she saw +the stern set of his jaw, the bronzed pallor of his cheeks. + +She watched the little trap until it had disappeared behind some +great oaks, which were one of the glories of Kingdon Hall. In a +strange way she had come to love this stately old place, and it gave +her a pang to feel that she was about to look her last on it. This +feeling, however, was subordinated to another, which literally tore +her heart; this was that, by the use of every means of thought and +action within her power, she had quite determined never to run the +risk of seeing this man again. + +She knew that her only safety lay in flight, and she set to work at +once to make her preparations to fly. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +In the days that followed, Bettina's only resource was in bodily +activity. She wrote at once and took her passage on a steamer to sail +for America one week from the day of Horace's visit. Then, with +Nora's help, she set to work to do her packing. The French maid was +sent away, and her lady refused all other offers of service. + +Her first impulse had been to leave all her wardrobe and personal +belongings behind her, and this she would undoubtedly have done but +for the counteracting instinct to remove from any possibility of +the sight of the future occupant of these apartments any smallest +reminder of the late Lady Hurdly. No doubt another bearer of that +name would soon be installed in them, and to her the least reminder +of the beautiful Bettina who had once so strangely come to it would +naturally be offensive. + +With this thought in her mind, she eagerly helped Nora to collect +and pack away every trace of her ever having lived here. One record +of the fact it was out of her power to remove, and this was the +full-length portrait of her, in all the state and magnificence of her +proud position, which hung in the picture-gallery, and which Horace +had never seen. Neither had he ever seen her in such a guise, and, in +spite of her, there was a certain exultation in her breast when she +imagined the moment of his first beholding it. Another moment, +equally charged with mingled pride and pain, was the anticipation of +the time when the next bearer of the name and title should come to +have her portrait hung there. No Lady Hurdly who had come before +could bear the comparison with her, and she knew it. Was it not, +therefore, reasonable to believe that those who followed her might +suffer as much by the contrast? + +But these feelings of satisfaction in the consciousness of her +appropriateness to such a setting as Kingdon Hall were only +momentary, and many of those busy hours of work were interspersed +with lonely fits of weeping, when even Nora was excluded from her +mistress's room. The good creature, who had never been burdened with +mentality, went steadily on with her work and asked no questions; +yet it was not unknown to her that Bettina's unhappiness depended not +altogether upon the fact of her recent widowhood, or even upon the +disastrous consequences of it in her future life. + +Two or three times Nora had brought to her mistress letters in a +handwriting which she had not forgotten, and although she made no +sign of suspicion, she did connect these letters with Bettina's +unhappiness. + +Certainly it was no wonder that such letters as she received from +Horace now should have so desperately sad an influence on her. In +them he begged, argued, pleaded with her to grant him this one +request, even using her mother's name to touch and change her. +Indeed, there was a tone in these letters that she could scarcely +understand. Keenly conscious as she was of the injustice of which she +had been guilty toward him, it seemed incredible that he could so +ignore it as to manifest any personal interest in her on her own +account. She even felt a certain regret that he could so lose sight +of this flagrant fact. It had come to be a vital need to her to have +the ideal of Horace in her life. It was now almost more essential to +her to have something to admire than something to love. Under these +conditions she felt a certain sense of disappointment in him, that +he could seem to forget the deep wrong she had done him. And yet, in +utter contradiction to this feeling, his kind ignoring of it soothed +her tortured heart. + +She sent no answer to these letters. She even hoped that by taking +this course she might make the impression on him that she did not +read them. This was her design and her consolation, even while she +read and re-read them with a devouring eagerness. She never paused +to ask herself why this was. She avoided any investigation into +her feeling for Horace. It was enough that, in spite of all the +self-accusation and self-abasement which she carried in her heart, +this being who knew the very worst of her could still think her +worthy of kindness and respect. When she thought of this she felt as +if she could go on her knees to him. + +One fear was constantly before her mind, and that was that he might +seek a personal interview with her again. She dared not trust herself +to this, instinctively as she longed for it. It was, therefore, with +positive terror in her breast that she heard one morning from Nora +that Lord Hurdly was in the house, having come down by train from +London. + +"I cannot see him--I will not!" she cried, in an impassioned protest, +which only Nora could have seen her portray. + +"He did not ask to see you," said Nora. "I met him in the hall, and +he told me to say to you that he required some papers which were in +the library, and that he would, with your permission, like the use of +the room for a few hours. He told me to say that he had had luncheon, +and would not disturb you in any way." + +At these words Bettina felt a sinking of the heart, which was her +first consciousness of the sudden hope she had been entertaining. +This made her reproach herself angrily for such weakness and want +of pride, and with this feeling in her heart, she said, abruptly, + +"There is no answer to Lord Hurdly's message." + +"I beg your pardon," said Nora, hesitatingly, "but I am quite sure he +is expecting an answer." + +"I say there is no answer," Bettina repeated, with a sudden +sternness. "Lord Hurdly is in his own house. He can come and go as he +chooses. His asking permission of me is a mere farce." + +Nora ventured to say no more, and withdrew in silence, leaving her +mistress alone with the consciousness that Horace was in the very +house with her, and that at any moment she might, if she chose, go +to him and tell him all the truth. + +And why did she not? That old feeling between them was quite dead. +She had a right to clear herself from a condemnation which she did +not deserve--a right, at least, to make known the palliating +circumstances in the case. In any other conceivable instance she +would not have hesitated to do so. What was it, then, which made it +so impossible in this instance? + +The answer to this question leaped up in her heart, and so struggled +for recognition that she had an instinct to run away from herself +that she might not have to face it. She wanted to close her eyes, so +that she might shut out the truth that was before her mental vision, +and to put her hands over her ears, that she might not hear the voice +that clamored to her heart. + +Surely a part of this feeling was the compunction which she felt for +having wronged him. That she might openly acknowledge. But that was +not all. She was aware of something more in her own heart. Even that +she might have stifled, and, supported by her pride, might have +concisely told him of the error under which she had acted. But there +was still another thing that entered in. This was a faint, delicious, +disturbing, unacknowledged to her own heart, suspicion about Horace +himself. He had said nothing to warrant her in the belief that his +anxiety about her future was anything more than the satisfaction +of his own self-respect, but her heart had said things which she +trembled to hear, and there was a certain evidence of her eyes. In +leaving her the other day--or rather at the moment of her hurried +leaving of him--he had looked at her strangely. + +That look had lingered in her consciousness, and without effort she +could recall it now. In doing so her cheeks flushed, her heart beat +quicker. She felt tempted to woo the sweet sensation, and by every +effort of imagination to quicken it into keener life, but the +seductiveness of this temptation terrified her. + +She started from her seat and looked about her. How long had she sat +there musing--dreaming dreams which every instinct of womanly pride +compelled her to renounce? She wondered if he had gone. Once more +came that mingled hope and fear that he might seek an interview with +her before leaving. The hope was stronger than ever, and for that +reason the fear was stronger too. + +A footstep in the hall arrested her attention, and she stood +palpitating, with her hand upon her heart. It passed, leaving only +silence; but it had been a useful warning to her. Suppose, in her +present mood, Horace should make his way to her sitting-room and +knock for admittance. Would she--could she--send him away, with her +heart crying out for the relief of speech and confession to him as +it was doing now? + +With a hurried impulse she caught up a light wrap of dense black +material, and passed rapidly into the hall. Her impulse was to go out +of doors, to get away from the house until he should have left it; +but in order to do this from her apartments, she must pass by the +library, and this she feared to do. So she changed her purpose, and +stepping softly that no one might hear her, she entered the long +picture-gallery, and closed the door behind her with great care to +make no noise. Many of the blinds were closed, but down at the far +end where her picture hung there was some light, and with an +impulsive desire to look at this picture, with a view to the +impression that it might make on Horace when he should see it, she +glided noiselessly down the room toward it. + +The full-length portraits to right and left of her loomed vaguely +through the half-light. She glanced at each one as she passed slowly +along, with the feeling that she was taking leave of them forever. In +this way her gaze had been diverted from the direction of her own +portrait, and she was within a few yards of it when, looking straight +ahead of her, she saw between the picture and herself the figure of a +man. + +He stood as still as any canvas on the wall, and gazed upward to the +face before him. Bettina, as startled as if she had seen a ghost in +this dim-lighted room, stood equally still behind him, her hand over +her parted lips, as if to stifle back the cry that rose. + +And still he stood and gazed and gazed, while she, as if petrified, +stood there behind him, for moments that seemed to her endless. + +Presently she saw his shoulders raised by the inhalation of a +deep-drawn breath, which escaped him in an audible sigh. The sound +recalled her. Turning with a wild instinct of escape, she fled down +the long room, her black cape streaming behind her, and vanished in +the shadows out of which she had emerged. + +Somehow, she never knew how, she let herself out into the hall, and +thence she sped through the long corridor, down the stairs, past the +open door of the vacant library, and out into the grounds. She met +no one, and when at last she paused in the dense shadows of some +thick shrubbery, she had the satisfaction of feeling that she had +been unobserved. Here, too, she was quite secluded, and in the effort +to collect herself she sat down on the grass, her knees drawn up, her +forehead resting on them, her clasped hands strained about them. + +How long she remained so, while her leaping heart grew gradually +calmer, she did not know. + +A sound aroused her from her lethargy. It was the clear whistle of +some one calling a dog. She knew who it was before a voice said, + +"Here, Comrade--come to me, sir." + +The voice was not far off, but the shrubbery was between it and her. +She would have felt safe but for the dog. She did not move a muscle. + +The footsteps were drawing near her, and now bounding leaps of a +dog could be heard also. Both passed, and she began to breathe +more freely, when what she had dreaded came. The dog, stopping his +gambols, began to sniff about him. The next moment he had bounded +through the shrubbery and was yelping gleefully at her side. + +Instantly she sprang to her feet and stood there, slight and tall and +straight in her long black wrap, the image of pallid woe. All the +blood had left her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified. + +It was so that she appeared to the man who, parting the branches of +the thick foliage, stood silent and surprised before her. She might +have been the very spirit of widowhood, so desolate she looked. + +Raising his hat automatically, he said, in a strained, unnatural +voice, "Can I do anything for you?" + +She tried to speak, but speech eluded her. + +"I beg your pardon," he said, "but can I do anything for you, Lady +Hurdly?" + +Oh, that name! She had had an instinct to free herself at last from +the burden she had borne, and to tell him, in answer to his question, +that he could do this for her--he could hear her tell of the wretched +treachery by which she had been led to do him such a wrong, and of +the misery of its consequences in her life. But the utterance of that +name recalled her to herself. It reminded her not only who she was, +but also who and by what means he was also. + +[Illustration: "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD"] + +"Leave me," she said, throwing out her hand with a repellent gesture. +"I have gone through much, and I am not strong. If you have any +mercy, any kindness, leave me to myself. It is not proper, perhaps, +that I should ask any favor of you, but I do. I beg you not to speak +or write to me again until I have done what must be done here, and +gone away from this place and this country forever." + +There was an instant's silence, during which Comrade nestled close to +her and tried to lick her hand, all the time looking longingly at +Horace. Then a voice, constrained and low, said, sadly: "I will grant +your favor, Lady Hurdly. What of the favor I have asked of you?" + +"I cannot. It is impossible," she cried. "Surely I have been +humiliated enough without that. It is the one thing you have in your +power to do for me, never to mention that subject again." + +"I shall obey you," he said; "but in return I ask that you will not +forget my request of you, though you have forced me to silence. While +a wrong so gross as that goes unrepaired I can never rest. Remember +this, and that you have it in your power to relieve me of this +burden. Now I will go." + +He turned and vanished through the shrubbery, Comrade after him. + +Bettina sank upon the ground, covering her face with the long drapery +of her cape. Suddenly she felt a touch. Her heart leaped, and she +uncovered her head, showing the light of a great hope in her eyes. + +But it was only Comrade, nestling close to her, with human-eyed +compassion. She threw her arms around him, and pressed her face +against his shaggy side. + +"Did he send you to me, Comrade," she whispered, "because he knew +that I was miserable and alone?" + +The gentle creature whined and wagged his tail as if in desperate +effort to reply. + +"I know he did! I know he did!" she cried. "Oh, how kind and good and +unrevengeful he is! And I can never tell him the truth. I can never +tell that to any human being, Comrade, but I'll tell it to you." She +drew his head close to her lips and whispered a few words in his ear. + +Then she sprang to her feet, a great light in her eyes, as she threw +her arms upward with an exultant movement, and cried, as if to some +unseen witness up above, "I have said it!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +After this Bettina went about her preparations for departure with a +spirit of calm and collectedness which came from the knowledge of +herself, which she had at last fully accepted. Hundreds of times in +these last few days her mother's words had come back to her: "The day +will come when you will know what you are incapable even of imagining +now--what is the one perfect love and complete union that can ever be +between two human beings.... Test the world, if you will--and your +nature demands that you shall test it--but you will live to say one +day: 'My mother knew. My mother's words have come true.'" + +It was even so. She knew now, at last, and the knowledge had come to +her when inexorable necessity compelled her to separate herself +forever from the man who, not suddenly, but by a system of gradual +evolution--from the crude emotions of her girlhood through the +growing consciousness of later years--had now manifested himself to +her as all her heart could desire, all her spirit could crave, all +her mature womanhood could need. She realized that he had long been +this to her, but with a thick veil between herself and him which had +hid the truth from her. The reading of the letter given her by Mr. +Cortlin had torn that veil apart, and she saw him as he was, the man +of her ideal. She did not, at the same moment, see her own heart as +it was. This vision had come to her with her renewed intercourse with +Horace, who had appeared before her now the ripe product of the noble +possibilities which she had vaguely perceived in him once, when she +had cared too little to think deeply of him in any way. + +Oh, to have kept the place she had once had at his dear side! To have +shared with him the privations of a life that would have been narrow +and obscure indeed compared with the one which she had known in its +stead, but, oh, how rich in the way she had now come to count riches! + +Thoughts like these she had to fight against. Perhaps in the end they +would conquer, and would hunt her to the death; but now, until she +could get out of the country, she must put them down. + +She had only a few days left, and she determined to devote a part of +these to some farewell visits among the tenants. As far as she had +been able to do, she had made friends with these poor folk, and had +given what she could to relieve their necessities; but, in comparison +with what was needed, the money at her command had seemed pitifully +small. + +When Lady Hurdly, dressed in her deep widow's mourning, descended the +steps of her stately residence and entered the waiting carriage, +whose black-liveried servants saluted her respectfully, she had a +consciousness that servants and tenants alike must feel a certain +commiseration for the great lady, such as they had known her, now +sunk to poverty as well as obscurity. This feeling made her manner a +little colder and prouder then usual as she sat alone in the sunshine +of a lovely autumn morning and was driven between the beautiful +English hedgerows and through the fertile fields which she had +learned to love. How soon would all be changed for her! And changed +to what? The isolated exile of a place filled with the haunting +memories of the past--her mother, whom she had lost forever, and her +young lover, who was as absolutely lost to her. + +Strangely to herself, it was the latter that she felt to be the +keener pain. To the former she was reconciled; as we do, sooner or +later, reconcile ourselves to the inevitable; but the supreme sting +of this other grief was that she felt it need not have been. Sitting +there in her carriage, the object of much eager attention, she felt +so desolate and wretched that it was with difficulty that she kept +back her tears. + +She dreaded the ordeal before her. She felt that she must take leave +of these people and say a word of kindness to them, since she was so +miserably unable to do more; but these visits were always depressing. +Since the tenants had discovered that they had a sympathetic listener +in her, they had luxuriated in the pouring out of their sorrows. Of +course they had not ventured to accuse her husband of being connected +with them, but the lesson was one that he who ran might read. + +So, when the carriage stopped at the door of the first cottage, she +had made up her mind that she could not stand much in the way of +these miserable confidences to-day, and would make her visits short. + +But when she entered the house she was conscious of a total change of +atmosphere. Every creature in the room gave proof of this, according +to his or her kind. The old woman who sat knitting by the hearth +looked up at her with a dim twinkle in the eyes that had heretofore +expressed nothing but a consciousness that things were bad and +getting worse; and the children, who, indeed, had taken little count +of the depression of their elders, now manifestly shared their relief +from it. It was their mother who, with a strange smile of hope on her +careworn face and a fervent clasping together of her work-worn hands, +made the explanation to the visitor. + +But this explanation, when it had been heard, was almost more of an +ordeal to Bettina than the one which she had feared. Certainly it +made a stronger demand upon her power of self-control. For the +key-note of it all was Horace. He had been here before her, and had +done, or promised to have done, all that she had so passionately +wished to do. His name was on their lips continually; even the little +children lisped it. It was "his lordship this" and "his lordship +that," in a way that furnished a strange contrast to the studied +avoidance of the word under former conditions. + +Somehow, glad as she was, it was hard for Bettina to bear. In the +midst of the accounts of what his lordship had done and said, and +how he was to right all their wrongs and make everybody happy, she +got up and took a hurried leave. + +What was the use of her staying here? What was a little sympathetic +feeling, more or less, to these wretchedly poor creatures? It was +their material needs that they wished satisfied, and a stronger hand +than hers was at work on these. And if--as seemed so plain, as she +could so well imagine from her own knowledge of him--he was able and +willing to give them the sympathy and interest as well as the +practical help they needed, where was any use for her? There was +none--nobody needed her, she told herself, desperately, and the +sooner she lost herself in the oblivion of America the better. + +Each cottage that she visited showed the same metamorphosis in its +inmates. A lame boy to whom she had once given a pair of crutches had +a new wheel-chair, and the crutches were thrown in a corner. A sick +child for whom she had bought some prepared food, which it had not +been able to take, had been sent off to a hospital for regular +treatment, and its poor mother was enjoying the first rest of many +years, with a consciousness that the child was better off than it +could possibly be with her. An old man who had been long bedridden, +and to whom she had sent some clean bedclothes, had been moved into +another room with complete new furnishings, while the occupant of +this room had been sent elsewhere, so that the distressing sense of +over-crowdedness for sick and well was entirely gone from the house. + +In almost every cottage that she visited she saw the same evidences. +How pitiful her own efforts seemed beside these! What was heart +compared with hand? What was sympathy compared with money? And was +she so sure that she gave even the sympathy? She felt in her breast +now no sense of pity for their suffering, no consciousness even of +rejoicing in their relief. The only feeling there--and it seemed to +fill her whole heart--was pity for her own numb, gnawing +wretchedness, for which there could be no relief. + +When the last hurried visit was ended, she drove home, completely +unnerved. Her black veil was lowered before her face, and though she +sat erect and composed to outward seeming, the tears rained down her +cheeks. + +Her remaining days at Kingdon Hall were spent in a state of such +listlessness and inertia that Nora began to fear that she was going +to be ill. She urged her mistress to send for the doctor; but, for +answer, Bettina burst into tears, declaring that she was not ill, and +begging Nora to do everything for her that was necessary to get her +off on the steamer on which she had taken passage, as she felt unable +to do anything herself. + +How the intervening hours passed she never knew; but, as if taking +part in a dream, she went through them all, and at last found herself +settled in her state-room, with Nora to take care of her, and no one +to spy on her or notice what she did. Asking Nora, as piteously as a +child, to help her to undress, she went to bed, and from that bed she +did not rise until the ship had touched another shore, and the +breadth of the world lay between herself and Horace. + +How glad she would have been to lie there and sail on forever, freed +from her responsibility to the future, as she was from that to the +past! + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +It was when Bettina was a matter of three hours out at sea that Lord +Hurdly arrived at Kingdon Hall, and, on being admitted, ordered the +servant to say to Lady Hurdly that he wished to see her. His surprise +was great when the man informed him that Lady Hurdly had that day +sailed for America. + +Dismissing the servant, he went to the library and shut himself up +there alone. How strangely was this house altered to him in one +moment's time! Just now he had felt a presence in it which had made +every atom of it significant. Now, how dead, empty, meaningless, it +had suddenly become! + +The effect of this change was almost startling to him, and for the +first time he had the courage to face himself and to demand of his +own soul an explanation. + +He was a man of a peculiarly uncomplex nature. When, on meeting +Bettina, he for the first time fell deeply in love, he had looked +upon the matter as a finality, and he had never ceased so to regard +it. When she deserted him, without giving him a chance to speak, he +had, in the overwhelming bitterness of his heart, forsworn all women. +It had never occurred to him to put another in Bettina's place. For a +long time a passionate resentment possessed him. When he knew that +Bettina had married his cousin, this resentment had had two objects +to feed upon instead of one; but at first the bitterness of his anger +against the being in whom he had supremely believed greatly +outweighed that against the being in whom he had never believed. Lord +Hurdly had never had it in his power to wound and anger him as +Bettina could. So, when he got transferred from St. Petersburg to +Simla, it was with the instinct of removing himself as far as +possible from Bettina. Of the other he scarcely thought. + +When, however, the first consternation of the sudden blow was over, +and he grew calm enough to be capable of anything like temperate +thought, he tried to imagine how this strange state of things had +come about. + +Obviously Bettina must have sought Lord Hurdly out, and it was almost +certain that she had done this with a view to mediating between him +and his offending heir. He recalled her having said, more than once, +that she intended to win him over, and he pictured to himself what +had probably transpired in the fulfilment of her plan. Lord Hurdly, +who was notoriously indifferent to women, saw in Bettina a new type, +and, as consequent events proved, became possessed of the wish to +have her for his wife. This being so, he had probably not scrupled as +to the means to this end. Gradually, from having held Bettina chiefly +guilty, Horace began to feel that it was quite possible that she had +been less so than the artful and determined man, who had undoubtedly +brought to bear on her all the wiles of which he was master. + +What the wiles were, how unscrupulously they were employed to effect +any end that he had in view, Horace was now more than ever aware. + +And every fresh revelation of them tended to soften him toward +Bettina. He was in the habit of trusting his instincts, and these had +as determinedly declared to him that his cousin was false. On his +return to England, after Lord Hurdly's death, both of these instincts +had found ample confirmation. The more he looked into the affairs of +his predecessor, in his relations to his tenants, his family, his +lawyers, and the world at large, the more did his mistrust and +condemnation of him deepen, while, as for Bettina, it took little +more than the impression of his first interview with her to restore +almost wholly his old belief in her truth and nobleness. + +On the basis of her having been deceived by Lord Hurdly about him, he +could forgive her her marriage. Where would her desolate heart have +turned for comfort? And he knew her nature well enough to realize +that what Lord Hurdly had to offer might have seemed likely to serve +her as a substitute for happiness. He knew, moreover, that Bettina +had never loved him in the sense in which he had loved her, and this +fact made his judgment gentler. + +As he stood there alone, in the great house, strangely empty now that +her rich presence was removed from it, he wished with all his heart +that he had gone to her, and forcing her to look at him with those +candid eyes of hers, had said: "Bettina, tell me the truth. Why did +you do it?" Oh, if he only had! + +Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might +have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of +such a speech, or she might have given him to understand that what +appeared true was really true--namely, that his cousin's splendid +offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to +hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The +thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and +career quite apart from her. + +This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had +satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to +Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had +given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew--her own mother had +avowed it to him--that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the +same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart. +What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the +emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers +was breaking in its loneliness. + +But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his +eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory +out of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and +decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to +consider her, both heartless and false! + +Fortified by the bitter support of this conception of her, he left +the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the +complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed +swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long +picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish +portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what +feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before +that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might +ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that +he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the +gracious image and walked away. + +It was not long, however, before he found himself in Bettina's own +apartments. These he remembered well, and in the main they were +unchanged. Yet what a subtle difference he felt in them! Here on this +great gloomy bed had that poor orphan girl slept, or else lain +wakeful in the dread consciousness which must have come to her when +once she realized the nature and character of the man to whom she had +given herself in marriage. Here in this stately mirror had she seen +herself arrayed in the splendid clothes which were the poor price for +which she had sold her birthright. He stood and looked at himself in +the mirror, with an uncanny feeling that behind his own image there +was that of the beautiful Bettina, whom once he had thought to +protect forever by his love and strength and tenderness, and who now, +with only a hired servant, was alone in the great shipful of +strangers, on her way to the loneliness of that empty little village +which her mother's presence had once so adequately filled for her. + +He went to the wardrobe and opened the door, hoping to find some +trace of Bettina. But no; all was orderly and void. Then he passed on +to the dressing-table and opened the drawers, one by one. In the last +there lay a small hair-pin of fine bent wire. He had an impulse to +take it, but, with a muttered imprecation on his folly, he called to +aid his recent resolution, and hastily left the room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Bettina had been in her old home a week--long enough to recuperate +from her journey and begin to take up her life, such as it was to be. +She would gladly have relaxed entirely and lain in bed to be waited +on and tended by Nora, had this been possible. But she had wearied of +the physical rest, which only made her mental restlessness the +greater, and she had an impulse to reach out her empty hands so that +somehow, somewhence they might be filled. + +The neighbors had called on her promptly, but she could not see them. +They reminded her too much of the mother she had lost. Mr. Spotswood +had also called, but he was a reminder of the other loss, now the +more poignant of the two. When she excused herself to him also he +wrote her a note--the conventional thing, and that merely. It seemed +strangely lacking in the solicitude and affection which she had a +right to expect from her old friend and rector. Bettina was struck +with this, and instantly there flashed over her a reason for it. It +was only natural that he should feel a certain resentment of her +jilting of one of his cousins, even though she had done it in favor +of another and more important one. She remembered that the rector had +been extremely fond of Horace, and at this thought she had a sudden +desire to see him. So she wrote him a note and asked him to come. + +It was so long since she had talked with any one, and she was so +nervous after all her morbid imagining, that she was feeling utterly +unlike the old self-reliant, active-minded girl he remembered when +the rector entered the room. She also, on her part, was unprepared +for the feelings aroused by the sight of him; and when he came in, +his grave face and gentle manner so entirely unchanged, in contrast +to all the changes she had undergone, Bettina felt a sudden tendency +to tears. The thought of her mother also helped to weaken her, and +the thought of Horace was a still harder strain on her endurance. + +She saw a certain constraint in his manner first, as she had +perceived it in his note. She felt unaccountably hurt by it, and when +he took her hand a little coldly and inquired for her health, a rush +of feelings overwhelmed her and she burst into tears. + +In evident surprise, the visitor tried to soothe her as best he +could. Naturally supposing that this grief was in consequence of her +recent widowhood, he pressed her hand, and said, gently: + +"I trust you are not overtaxing yourself by seeing me, my child. If +you had preferred not to do so I should not have misunderstood. Your +bereavement is so recent that--" + +But Bettina, trying to silence her sobs, interrupted him. + +"Oh, forgive me, Mr. Spotswood," she said. "I had not thought I +should break down like this. I have been perfectly calm. It is not +what you suppose. Oh, I feel so wretched, so lonely, so bewildered! I +would give the world if I could speak out my heart to one human +being." + +The rector looked surprised, but visibly softened. + +"To whom may you speak if not to me, Bettina?" he said. "Surely, +whatever trouble is on your heart, you may count upon my sympathy." + +Bettina did not speak. With her face hid in her pocket-handkerchief +she shook her head, as if in dissent from the idea of his sympathy. + +Feeling rather helpless, he changed his tactics, in an honest +endeavor to get at the real cause of her trouble. + +"Naturally, my child," he said, "the sight of me brings back the +thought of your beloved mother. Such a sorrow--" + +But again she interrupted him, this time by a silent gesture of the +hand. Then she said: + +"It is not that. I've got used to that ache, and although my heart +would not be my heart without it, that is a silent and accepted +sorrow now. Oh, Mr. Spotswood," she said, impetuously, uncovering +her tear-stained face and looking at him with the helplessness +of a child, "you are a clergyman; you teach that God is love and +compassion and forgiveness; you have a kind heart! I know you have. +Perhaps if I could tell you all I have suffered, and how deeply I +have repented, you would be sorry for me, and not blame me as much +as I deserve to be blamed." + +She was looking at him tentatively, as if to see how far she could +trust to the forbearance of which she felt she had now such need. + +The rector's heart was deeply touched. This show of humility in the +high-spirited, self-willed girl that he remembered took him by +surprise. + +"It could never be my impulse to blame you, my dear child, and the +less so when I see how bitterly you are blaming yourself for this +unknown thing. If you will tell me about it, I will do all that may +be in my power to help you. At all events, you may count upon my +loving sympathy." + +"Ah, if I only could! It would be much to me now. But you are +ignorant of what you are promising. In a certain way it concerns +yourself, or at least a member of your family." + +She saw a slightly hardened look come into his face, but it quickly +gave way to a gentler one. + +"No matter what it is, if you have suffered and repented, the best +sympathy of my heart is yours." + +"You will regard it as a confidence--a sacred confidence?" said +Bettina. "I could only tell you with that understanding. I know that +a clergyman is accustomed to keeping the secrets of his people, and I +could not say a word unless I were sure that this thing would rest +forever between you and me." + +[Illustration: "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'"] + +Wishing to soothe her in every possible way, the rector gave her +his promise to keep sacred what she might tell him; and thus +reassured, poor Bettina opened her heart. The relief of it was so +exquisite and the experience was so rare, that she told it all with +the abandonment of a child at its mother's knee, and with a degree of +self-accusation that might well have disarmed condemnation, as indeed +it did. + +Up to the time of her meeting with Horace in England, she kept back +nothing, describing with absolute truth her feelings as well as her +conduct. When she had reached that point, however, a sense of +instinctive reserve came to her, and a few brief sentences described +what had happened since. + +At the end of her recital she paused, looking eagerly into the +rector's face, as if she both hoped and feared what he might say. + +"Truly, my child, it is a wretched story," he began, as if a little +careful in the choosing of his words, "but the knowledge of it has +deepened instead of lessened my sympathy for you. Your fault has been +very great, but so is your sense of compunction; and as far as +suffering can expiate, surely you have done much to atone. My own +knowledge of the character of the late Lord Hurdly was such that I +cannot pretend to be greatly surprised at what you have told me +concerning him. I regret to say it, but justice must be done to the +living as well as to the dead. The present Lord Hurdly will prove, I +trust and believe, an honor to the name. My intercourse with him has +been comparatively limited, but no young man has ever inspired me +with a stronger sense of confidence. So much do I feel this that I +will confess to a strong desire that he should know upon what ground +you acted toward him as you did. I have given my word to you, +however, and perhaps it is as well. That poor man so lately gone to +his account has stains enough upon his memory without this added one. +And when I think of Horace--what he has suffered through the +treachery of his kinsman--I feel that it is perhaps kindest to him +also to leave this dark secret in the oblivion which buries it in our +two hearts." + +Bettina seemed not to hear his last words. + +"He has suffered? You think he has suffered, and through me?" + +"Is it possible that you can doubt it?" + +"He gave no sign," began Bettina, hesitatingly. + +"To you--certainly not. How could he?" + +"Did he to you?" she said, breathlessly. + +The rector looked at her with a sort of sad scrutiny, and was silent +a moment. Then he said: + +"He wrote me one letter--the most brokenhearted expression of +suffering I have ever read. It was before your marriage, when he +still had some slight hope that you had mistaken your own feelings, +in the statement of them which you had made in your letter to him. +But then came the announcement of your marriage, since which time +your name has not been mentioned between us." + +"Did you keep that letter?" she said. + +"I did." + +"Will you let me see it?" + +"I am afraid I cannot properly do that." + +"I beg that you will, Mr. Spotswood. You would be doing me a very +great favor, and for your cousin's sake also I think I may venture to +ask it. I was told that he was 'fickle and capricious, incapable of a +sustained affection,' and much more in the same line. I should be +truly glad to know that this was false." + +"I can give you my word for that." + +"But you can give me also his word, if you will," she said, +beseechingly. "Oh, my dear, dear friend, I too have suffered, and I +believe that what I have endured is the worst of pain, for it comes +from the knowledge of wrong to another. You cannot take away that +pain, but perhaps you can restore to me a lost ideal. I had come to +think that there was no such thing as love--real love--in the world; +to believe not only that the man who had professed it for me was +false in that profession, but that it really did not exist. Let me +see that letter. It is an impersonal thing to me now, but I feel that +it would strengthen me for all my future life. I am going to try to +be good; indeed I am," she said, her lips trembling like a child's. +"If I feel that that letter would help me, why may I not see it?" + +The rector hesitated visibly; then he said: + +"You shall see it, Bettina. I cannot feel that it will do any harm, +and it will be an act of justice, perhaps, to him as well as to you. +Whoever represented him to be lacking in depth of feeling has done +him a wrong indeed. I had no need to have this proved to me, but if +there be such a need in any breast, the reading of this letter must +do away with it." + +In a few moments he rose to take leave, having promised to send the +letter to her. + +"Will you send it at once?" she asked. "May Nora go with you and +bring it back?" + +In the stress of her feeling she forgot the impression that her +eagerness might make; but it had not been lost upon the rector, who +pondered all these things in his heart as he went homeward. + +When he had given the letter to Nora, and she had taken it to her +mistress, he wondered if he had done well. Bettina had not pretended +that she had really loved the man to whom she had first engaged +herself. The preoccupied interest and affection which she had given +him then were not misrepresented in her confession to the rector, +and she had been absolutely silent as to her subsequent and present +feeling toward him. All that she said, the whole burden of her song, +was that she had so wronged him in that past time; never once had she +hinted at the possibility of any renewal of relations between them. + +In spite of all this, the rector knew Bettina well, and he recognized +the fact that she was under the dominion of some larger and deeper +feeling than he had ever known her to have except her affection for +her mother. And had even that, he asked himself, so permeated her +whole being--mind, soul, and character--as this feeling in which he +now saw her so absorbed? He answered that it had not. It was, +therefore, taking a certain responsibility upon himself to show this +letter. But he was acting in the interest of truth and justice, and +he could not find it in his heart to regret what he had done. + +Temperate, judicious, deliberate as the rector was in all his mental +processes, he could not imagine that any result could come from the +course which he had taken, except some very remote one. Bettina had +shown plainly her determination never to divulge to Horace the +contents of Mr. Cortlin's letter; he was under promise to keep the +secret also, so there was no ground upon which the intercourse +between them could be renewed. Besides this, Bettina was but recently +become a widow. The proprieties of the situation demanded absolute +seclusion for a year at least, and, in Mr. Spotswood's consciousness, +propriety was supreme. He never took count of the fact that +conventions could be disregarded by any right-minded person, and to +this extent at least he conceived Bettina to be right-minded. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +The reading of that letter from Horace to the rector was a crisis in +Bettina's life. Its effect upon her was singular. When she eagerly +took in those pages filled with such anguish as possesses the heart +but once or twice in a lifetime, the consciousness that it was she, +Bettina, who had created such a love in the heart of the man that +Horace Spotswood was to her now, so exhilarated her that she was +capable of but one feeling--exultation. To have had this love, though +now she had it not, seemed to glorify her life. To have caused him +such sorrow--how greatly he had cared! In spite of all there was +rapture in it! + +That mood was followed by one of intense regret--an excoriating +self-accusation that made her spirit writhe before her own bar of +justice. Then, by degrees, when there came a moment of comparative +calm, she forced herself to recognize the fact that it was the +Bettina of the past who had been so loved, and that the man who had +so loved her was that youthful and impulsive Horace. Was not the +present Bettina, the slightingly treated widow of his cousin, a very +different being--as different as was the present Lord Hurdly from +that old and outgrown other self? Surely the change in both was +great--a change which she construed as absolutely to her own +disadvantage as it was to his advantage. + +Yet, in spite of this, that letter brought a strange strength to +her heart. Since it was now so plain that he had so truly, so +worshippingly loved her, she felt a summons to her soul to be her +highest possible, to overcome the slothful and the evil in her, and +live as it became the woman who had been so loved by such a man. +Above all, she longed to make her life avail for the good of others, +that she might make it a thank-offering for what she had received in +the knowledge that had come to her through that letter. + +For, after its perusal, she knew that never again could she entertain +the doubts which had so often filled her mind at the thought of the +complete silence in which Horace had accepted her rejection of him. +Sometimes she had fancied that it might have been a relief to him--a +way out of a difficult situation; but now forever in her heart she +could carry the proud consciousness that she had been as passionately +loved as she had been desperately regretted. + +It was a strange source, perhaps, from which to draw strength, but it +availed her now. With a sudden renewal of the energy of her youth she +began to look about her for work which she might do. Fortunately the +rector was ready with practical, immediate employment for heart and +hand, and pocket, too, alas! for now the fact was forced upon her +consciousness that she was poor. It would be as one of themselves, +only somewhat different in degree, that she must help these suffering +ones, and, in spite of being hampered by this limitation, there was a +certain sweetness in it. Her work among the poor had begun at Kingdon +Hall, and there she had been often baffled by the sense of the +difference between herself and those whom she wished to help. She +knew that this consciousness was in their hearts as well as in hers, +and that it made an impalpable but positive barrier. But now and here +all was different. She longed for the money that would have enabled +her to do so much more, and yet she felt it, somehow, sweet to be as +they. Her consciousness of her own past wrong-doing had so penetrated +her soul with humility that she was like a totally different being. + +She had said nothing to the rector of her determination not to touch +the money that her late husband had left her, but she strictly +adhered to this resolve. It was impossible. She simply felt she could +not. She found no difficulty in forgiving him for all that he had +done. She was too tender-hearted to bear malice toward the dead, +but she could not touch his money. Since she had once thought about +it--receiving food and clothes and comforts from his hands--she had +realized that it was an impossibility. She knew that the money was +deposited in bank for her, but there it might remain. She had told +Horace that she would not touch it, and he should see that she would +keep her word. + +Then came a thought that made her smile. He had wished to force upon +her the acceptance of a larger sum, because it was not proper that +Lord Hurdly's widow should live otherwise than in pomp and +circumstance. If he could see her now! This it was that made her +smile. + +She had shut up all the house except the rooms on the first floor, in +which she and Nora lived alone. She kept no other servant, and this +economy it was that enabled her to give to others. She had almost no +personal wants, and the income which had sufficed for her mother and +herself was more than enough for her alone. A little sting of injured +pride there had been at first, when her poverty became apparent to +the neighbors, who naturally expected her to enlarge rather than +curtail her expenses; but she soon got the better of this. The issues +of her life were in a wider field than mere neighborhood comment, +and, besides this, her friends and associates were now chosen chiefly +from the class who were too ignorant for such comment and +speculation. + +For Bettina had thrown herself with a passionate fervor into the work +which her hands had found to do. The one assuagement for the pain in +her own heart seemed to be the alleviation of the pain in other +hearts. She felt, also, a sense of thankfulness for the knowledge +which had come to her through the rector, which made the whole work +and service of her life seem all too little for her to give in return +for this boon. As for Horace, her feeling for him was akin to +worship. It was he who represented to her henceforth the ideal which, +like a fixed star, should give light to her path, though so +immeasurably far above her. + +What a strange life was this into which she had now entered! She felt +the certainty that her courage would be sufficient for it, but with +all her resolution she could not always keep back the bitter tears of +her wordless, hopeless, uncontrollable longing. At times this was a +thing so mighty that she had the feeling that, if her body were only +as strong as her spirit, she would be able to swim through those +thousands of watery miles that separated them, only to tell him the +truth, and then lay down her life at his feet. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +It was one of Bettina's weary days. Its hours had lagged and dragged +until the evening had come, and she had sunk down, exhausted and +depressed, in a big old-fashioned chair in front of her wood fire, +which seemed the only ray of cheerfulness within or without. She had +had these feelings before, and she knew that they would probably +pass, but never before had it been so borne in upon her that life was +sad and wretched alike for those whom she was trying to help and for +her who was so in need of help herself--little as they dreamed it. +Were they worth helping, those poor evil-environed creatures who so +continually disappointed her hopes and efforts? Was she worth +helping, either--weak, aimless creature that she was--who had vowed +to be content in the mere consciousness that Horace lived, and that +he had once supremely loved her, and then again and again had fallen +into this hopeless discontent which thirsted so for what she had +pledged herself to give up--the possession of that love to satisfy +the present hour's need? + +She lay back in the big deep chair, her white hands loosely grasping +its arms, and her white lids lowered. Now and then a tear would +trickle from beneath those lids and a slight contraction of pain +would move her lips. Any one looking in upon her so might well have +wondered where were the friends and companions of this beautiful, +lonely woman, shut into this small room, in the silence of a twilight +that hung damp and gray outside, and that the smouldering fire +lighted but fitfully within, while the low murmur of flames fitfully +broke the silence. + +Not a sound escaped her lips. She gazed longingly, sadly into the +glowing heart of the fire, and saw visions and dreamed dreams, but +not pleasing ones; they only served to make her sadness deeper. + +Presently the door opened, and Nora came in with the lamp. Glancing +at her mistress, who did not move, the woman then went out and +brought a small tea-service on a tray. + +"Don't light the kettle yet, Nora," said a low voice from the depths +of the chair. The speaker did not move; her manner was that of a +person who deprecated the least noise or intrusion, and Nora took +the hint and silently put down the tray. Then, in the same dull tone, +her mistress said: + +"I know you want to go to church. Go. I can make tea for myself when +I want it." + +Nora, in comprehending silence, left the room. + +Still the relaxed figure in the chair moved not. The fire whiffed and +crackled now and then, but beyond this there was no sound. The +lamplight showed more plainly the fair youth and loveliness of that +black-clad form, which never, in its most brilliant days, had looked +so exquisite as now, when there was none to gaze upon its beauty or +to share its solitude. The hands were ringless, for Bettina had taken +off her wedding-ring after the reading of the letter which the lawyer +had brought her, and with it she had renounced the last vestige of +allegiance to her late husband's memory. There was no bitterness in +her heart toward him. Simply he existed not, as though he had never +been. + +Vaguely she heard the sound of Nora's departure, as the door was +closed behind her, and still she sat there wordless, motionless, +almost breathless as it appeared, for her bosom scarcely seemed to +move. + +Presently there came two tears from under the closed lids; then +quickly others followed them. The sense that she was freed even from +the danger of Nora's observation weakened her more and more. Then +with the helpless, whispering tones of an unhappy child, she said: + +"My God, how desolate I am! How can I bear it? How long must it +endure?" + +Still she did not move except to raise her lids and cast upward her +tear-drenched eyes, while she caught her lower lip between her teeth. + +Suddenly there was a step upon the piazza--a man's step, as if in +haste. She started and sat upright. Who could it be? No man except +the rector ever visited her, and this was not the rector's step. She +hastily brushed away the traces of her tears and sat listening. + +Then came a tap at the door--not loud, but firm, distinct, decided. +It sounded strange to her, unlike the tap of any messenger or servant +who had ever come to her house. + +She got up, leaving the door of the sitting-room open that the light +might enter the dark hall. + +Then, most unaccountably, a sense of fear, very unusual to her, +seemed to possess her. She stood still a moment in the hall and +waited. + +The knock was repeated, so near this time that it made her start. She +was not naturally a timid woman, but she felt a sense of physical +fear which was totally unreasoning. What harm was likely to come to +her from such a source? She compelled herself to go forward and open +the door. + +It was very dark outside, and she vaguely distinguished the outline +of a tall man standing before her. The light from the open door at +her back threw out her figure in distinct relief, and it was evident +that she had been recognized, for a voice said, in low but distinct +tones, + +"Lady Hurdly." + +She gave a cry and pressed both hands against her breast, sharply +drawing in her breath. Then she took a few steps backward, throwing +out one hand to support herself against the wall. + +"Forgive me," said the well-known voice--the voice out of all the +world to which her blood-beats answered. "I have come on you too +suddenly. I ought to have written and asked permission to call. I +should have done so, only I feared you might deny me." + +Somehow the door was closed behind them and they had made their way +into the lighted room. Bettina, still pale and breathless, began to +murmur some excuses. + +"I beg your pardon; I was frightened. Nora had gone out, and I was +all alone. I did not know who it might be. I never have visitors, and +I was afraid to open the door." + +He was looking at her keenly. + +"You should not be alone like this," he said, both resentment and +indignation in his tone. "Why do you never have visitors? Why did +Nora leave you? Where are the other servants?" + +"There are no others. There is only Nora," she said, recovering +herself a little. "I let her go to church to-night. I am not usually +afraid. Why should I be? Perhaps I am not very well." As she uttered +these incoherent sentences she sank into a chair and he took one near +her. + +The expression of his face had changed from anxiety to a stern +sadness. + +"And you live alone like this," he said, "without proper service or +protection? And, in spite of all that I could say and do, you will +not take the miserable pittance which is your own, and which is +wasted there in the bank, where it can avail for no one? Do you think +this is right to yourself--or kind to me?" + +The quiet reproach of his tone disturbed her. + +"I do not mean to be unkind," she said, her voice not quite steady, +"and indeed I have all that I need. Nora has more than time to attend +to me, and as for company, it is because I do not want it that I do +not have it." + +"And you think you can live without companionship?" he said. "You +will find you are mistaken; but of that I have no right to speak. +There is one subject, however, on which I do claim this right, and it +is the fulfilment of this purpose which has brought me to America." + +"You came all this way to see me?" she said, lifting her brows as if +in gentle deprecation. "You were always kind." Her voice broke and +she said no more. + +"It is not a question of kindness," he said. "It is a matter of the +simplest right and duty. Will you hear me? Are you able to hear me +to-night, or shall I come again to-morrow?" + +"Speak now," she said. "I am perfectly well, and am ready to hear +whatever you may have to say." + +Her voice gave proof of a recovered self-control. The necessity of +making this a final interview between them was borne in upon her, and +sitting very still and erect, with her hands clasped tightly +together, she waited to hear what he might say. + +"Your leaving England so suddenly," he began, "was, as I need not +say, a disappointment to me. I had hoped to change your mind and +purpose concerning the acceptance not only of money which is your own +by legal right, but of such as is also yours by every rational law of +possession. It was to me an insupportable idea that you should go +away without the means of living as becomes your rank and station." + +Bettina, with a rather chill smile, shook her head. + +"Rank and station I have none," she said. "I have money enough to +live as becomes my mother's child; that I am, and no more. It is the +only bond to the past which I acknowledge. The name and title which I +bore a little while were never mine in a real and true sense. I do +not care to speak of it; it is all past; but the very fact that your +cousin saw fit to leave me with what you call a mere pittance shows +that he felt the distance, the lack of union, between us, as I felt +and feel it." + +It was a relief to her to say this much. He could gather nothing from +it, and she wanted him to know that she had freed her soul from +every vestige of its bondage to the man whom she chose to designate +as his cousin rather than by any relationship to herself--even a past +one. This point did not escape him. + +"It is with humiliation that I receive your reminder that that man +was, in flesh and blood at least, akin to me," was the answer; "and +for that reason I have felt it to be my duty to make whatever poor +reparation may be in my power for the evil that he has done." + +He spoke with extreme seriousness, and there was a tone in his last +words which conveyed to Bettina the suspicion that they referred to +something more than any act of Lord Hurdly's which had heretofore +been mentioned between them. + +She waited, therefore, in some agitation to hear what his next words +should be. + +"I shall have to ask your forgiveness," he said, "for touching upon +a matter which might well seem to be an impertinence on my part. The +necessity is forced upon me, however, and I shall be as brief as +possible, if you will be good enough to listen." + +Bettina answered merely by a bend of the head. + +"As long as I can remember," he began, "I have had a certain +instinctive distrust of the late Lord Hurdly. It grew with my +growth; but I never thought it proper, under the then existing +circumstances, to give expression to it. As time went on, observation +confirmed instinct, and it became evident to me that he was a man of +powerful will, and was more or less unscrupulous in the attainment of +its ends. After his death, in going into the affairs of the estate, +and various other matters which came under my observation, I found +that the truths laid bare before me revealed him as a far worse man +even than I had imagined. It was a revolting manifestation in every +sense; but even when those matters had been closed up--when I +supposed that I was done with the man and aware of the worst--a +revelation was made to me which, though of a piece with the rest, +and no worse in its essence and kind, came home to me with a +thousandfold intensity, from the fact that it nearly concerned both +myself and you." + +Bettina's heart beat wildly. She dared not look at him, and with an +instinct to protect herself from betrayal at every cost, she said, in +a voice which was so cool and calm that the sound of it surprised her +as it fell upon her ear: + +"Go on. Explain yourself." + +She had taken up a paper from the table and was using it as if to +screen her face from the fire, but she managed to get somewhat in the +shadow of it, so that her companion had only a partial view of her +features and expression. In this position, with her eyes bent upon +the fire, her countenance was wholly inscrutable to him. There was a +moment's silence before he continued. + +"How far the explanation is necessary," he said, "I do not know. I am +aware that you received a sealed letter, through Cortlin, from a man +named Fitzwilliam Clarke, who is now dead. What that letter contained +is your own affair. I also received a letter from the same source and +by the same hand. It is of the revelation contained in that letter +that I am come to speak to you." + +Bettina hardly knew whether she was waking or sleeping. The +astounding suddenness of the consciousness which had come to her now +seemed to stun both her body and her mind. She made no sign, however, +as she sat absolutely still, and her companion went on. + +"The letter to you was delivered, you remember, before my return to +England. The interval which elapsed before the delivery of the letter +to me--which occurred scarcely more than a week ago--was due to the +fact that Cortlin had been instructed to put each of these letters +into the hands of none but the man and woman to whom they were +addressed. In the second instance he was prevented by illness from +the prompt performance of his duty. He has had a long and serious +attack of fever. As soon as his condition of health permitted he sent +for me and put the letter into my hands, telling me that he was +ignorant as to its contents, but that a letter from the same source +had been delivered to you by him immediately after the death of the +scoundrel whose treachery had betrayed you into a marriage with him." + +Bettina could not speak or look at him. The thoughts which were +seething through her brain were too confused for speech. One thing, +however, was quite clear to her. The resentment that this man so +fiercely manifested was for her sake, not his own. His anger was an +impersonal thing. He had a manly and chivalrous nature, and the mere +fact that her mother had once committed her into his keeping would +constitute a strong claim on such a nature. He was outraged that a +countryman and kinsman of his own could so villanously have duped +her. As for his own wrongs in the matter, he apparently did not +consider these. For all consciousness of them in his words and tones +they might never have existed. + +While these thoughts were passing through her mind, he had risen, and +was pacing the floor with restless strides. Now he paused in front of +her and said: + +"I trust it may not seem to you that I did wrong to come to you and +tell you of the revelation that had been made to me. I have done it +in the belief that the letter which you received conveyed the same +information. May I be allowed to know if this is true?" + +Bettina bent her head, but said no more. + +"Then I feel myself justified in having come," he said, in a tone of +relief. "If I could have known you ignorant of the infamous wrong +that was done you, by the unscrupulous means used to beguile you into +a marriage which must so have tortured and humiliated any woman, I +might have kept silent. It might perhaps have been best to omit from +the list of the wrongs you must have suffered this crowning infamy of +all. But since it seemed certain that you knew it, and since it had +doubtless been the reason of your refusing to touch the money which +was so rightfully your due, and of your leaving the country where +this great wrong had been done you, I could not rest until I had +spoken. I could not still the longing to give you a certain solace +which I hoped it might be in my power to give. I knew how sad and +lonely you were. I had written to the rector and asked for tidings of +you." + +"You had? He never told me," she said, wonderingly. + +"I particularly bound him not to do so; but I did write more than +once, and got his answers. In that way it came to me that you were +unhappy--courageously and unselfishly, yet profoundly so, and it was +not difficult for me to comprehend the reason. You will forgive me +for going into a dead and buried issue for this once; but I knew your +nature, and it was obvious to me that you were torturing yourself +because you felt that you had done a wrong to me." + +Bettina caught her breath suddenly, and covered her face with her +hands. + +"Is it not so?" he said. + +But she could not speak. The shrinking anguish of her whole attitude +was her only answer. + +Then he took the seat nearest her, and said: + +"It is with the hope of lifting this totally unnecessary burden from +your mind that I have come. I beg you to have patience with me while +I speak to you quite simply and tell you why you would be doing wrong +to blame yourself on my account. For this once I must ask you to let +me speak of the past--not the recent past--let us consider that in +its grave forever--but the remote past, in which for a short while I +had a share. I, too, have my confession to make and pardon to beg, +for I am conscious that I wronged you, though it was through +ignorance, youth, inexperience, and also--forgive me for mentioning +it, but it is my best justification--also because I loved you, with a +love which I was then too ignorant even to comprehend. I needs must +beg you to remember that, in owning my great wrong to you. This +wrong," he continued, after an instant's pause, "consisted in my +urging you to marry me when you did not love me. I feared it was so, +even then; but I was selfish; I thought of myself and not of you. +When the whispered misgiving would rise up in my mind I forced it +down by vowing that if you did not already love me I could and would +make you do so. When the blow fell, and I knew that I had lost you, I +knew that my selfishness in thinking chiefly of my own happiness had +been properly rewarded. At least this was the feeling that possessed +my heart after the first. You were young, confiding, inexperienced. I +knew better than you possibly could know that you did not love me. +Later, you knew it also." + +He waited, as if for her response. From behind her close-pressed +hands the answer came. + +"Yes," she said, lowly, "I have long known that it was a mistake on +my part. You are right. I did not love you." + +Had she been looking, she would have seen a shadow cross his face--a +very faint one, as the hope that it obscured had been faint also. + +"Therefore," he said, "I took advantage of you, and obtained from you +a promise which I should never have asked. I want you to feel that I +realize the wrong I did you in that, and ask your forgiveness for +it." + +Slowly she lowered her hands and looked at him. + +"And you can ask forgiveness of me?" she said. + +"I humbly beg it--as on my knees." + +"Then what should be my attitude to you?" + +"The proud and upright one of never having done me any conscious +wrong." + +"But when I left you, rejected you, threw you off--" + +"That was not done to me, but to the man you supposed me to be--the +man who had been proved to you a scoundrel, by such proof as any one +would have deemed you mad to doubt." + +She looked at him somewhat timidly. + +"You are generous indeed," she said. + +"I am no whit more than just. You were absolutely warranted in such +a course toward me. What I long to do--what I have crossed the world +in the hope of doing--is to get you to forgive yourself, to free +yourself of a hallucination which is casting a needless shadow on +your life." + +"Oh, you are good--good!" she said. "I never knew so kind a heart. +Therefore must my unending misery be the greater that I have once +wounded it." + +"That consciousness should have no sting for you hereafter. You did +it in utter ignorance. I cannot claim that I was half so ignorant in +my wrong toward you. But surely we may remember that we have once +been friends, and so we may feel that there is full and free +forgiveness between us before we part." + +She did not speak. That last word had pierced too deeply to her +heart. + +"You do forgive me--do you not?" he said, as if he misunderstood her +silence. + +"I thank you--I bless you--I seek _your_ forgiveness," she said. + +At these last words he smiled--a smile that had a certain bitterness +in it. Then suddenly his face became rigidly grave. + +"If I had not given you my forgiveness, long ago," he said, "I should +like to offer it to you now, at a price. I wish to God that I could." + +"What do you mean?" she said, a sweet perplexity upon her face. "What +price have I to pay for anything?" + +"Ah, there it is! It may seem brutal of me to put a literal +construction upon what you have used as a figure of speech, but let +the truth come out. You are poor, unprotected, alone, and you ask me +to go and leave you so! God knows it is little enough that I have it +in my power to do, but the possession of money would enable you at +least to live as it becomes you to live. I do not speak of your +title--it is not what you are called, but what you are, that I have +in mind. If you had money, even the small income which I so desire +that you shall accept, your life would be different." + +But Bettina looked away from him, and shook her head in the gentle +negation which he knew to be so final. + +"How would my life be different?" she said. + +"You could make it so." + +"In what way?" + +"You could travel, for one thing." + +"I do not want to travel. I desired it once, and I got my wish. But +with it came a wretchedness that all the travelling in the world +could not carry me away from." + +"Then what is to be your life?" + +"What you see it now. I do not wish to change it for any other. I +have tried the world and its rewards. There is nothing in them." + +Her tone of absolute, unexpectant decision maddened him. + +"My God, Bettina!" he exclaimed, too excited to notice that the name +had escaped him. "Are you in earnest? Can you mean it? I wish I could +believe that you did not. But there is a deadly reality about you now +which makes me fear that you will keep your word. That you should +spend your life in this isolation, that you--you--" + +He broke off, as if words failed him. + +"What better can I do?" she said. "You must not think of me as idle +and useless. I am going to try not to be that. I have tried a little. +Ask the rector. And I am going to try more. There is but one thing +that I deeply desire, and that is to be a better woman than I have +been in the past. Oh, I will try hard--I will, indeed I will--to do a +little good in the future, to make up for all the harm I have done!" + +She ceased, her voice failing her, and as she looked at the man +standing near her she saw that he was scarcely listening. Some +intense preoccupation made him take in but vaguely what she was +saying. She saw that he was deeply moved in some way, and the +consciousness that this was so gave her a sense of alarm. She felt +her own will weakening, and she knew that somehow she must get this +parting over, if her strength were to suffice for it. + +"Good-bye," she said, holding out her hand. + +"Don't be too sorry for me. You have lightened my heart inexpressibly +by what you have told me. Now that I can feel that you know +all--that, wrong and wicked as I was, I was not so false as it +seemed--I can bear the future with courage. I am sure of it. I want +to say good-bye now, because I prefer not to see you again. You would +only try to shake me in a determination that is not to be shaken. +Don't trouble about me--please don't," she added. "I have health and +youth, and these will suffice me for what I have to do." + +"Health and youth!" he cried, ignoring her proffered hand, and +throwing his own hands up in a gesture of repudiation. "And what do +these signify in a situation such as yours? They only mean that you +will prolong an existence which, for such a woman as you, seems worse +than death. You ask me to leave you so? To say good-bye--" + +"Yes, I beg it, I implore it, I insist upon it," she interrupted him, +feeling that her strength was almost gone. "You have said that you +were willing to do me a service--then leave me." + +She sank back in her chair exhausted. + +"My God! am I a brute?" he said. "Have I made you ill with my idiotic +persistency? I will go. I will rid you of the distress and annoyance +of my presence. But before I go, Bettina," he said, with a sudden +break in his voice, "I must and will satisfy my heart by one thing: I +must, for the sake of my own soul's peace, tell you this. I have +never ceased to love you, and I never shall. I gave you up when I saw +the renunciation to be inevitable, but I knew then, as I know now, +that I can never put any other in your place. You were the love of my +youth, and you will be the love of my old age, if my lonely life goes +on till then. Don't turn from me. Don't hide your face like that. I +ask nothing but this sacred right to speak. I know you never loved +me. I know it is not in me--if, indeed, it be in any mortal man--to +enter into the heaven of being loved by you. But, at least, you have +been the vision in my life--the sacred manifestation of what girl and +sweetheart and woman and wife might be--and for that I thank you. In +the shadow of that beatific vision I shall walk henceforth, and +believe me when I say that I shall walk there alone." + +Bettina, with her face buried in her hands, remained profoundly +still. When he had waited a moment he began to fear that he had +overtaxed her strength too far, and that she might have fainted. + +Kneeling in front of her, he took her two wrists gently in his hands +and tried to draw them away from her eyes. The strong resistance that +she made to this gave evidence enough that she was conscious in every +sentient nerve. + +"Forgive me," he said; "I am going--I have been wrong to force all +this upon you--but it is the last time that we shall meet. Let me, I +pray you, see your face once more before I turn away from it +forever." + +The tense hands relaxed within his grasp, but he caught no more than +a second's glimpse of the beautiful face before it was hid against +his shoulder. + +At the same instant a low voice whispered in his ear: + +"Don't move until I speak to you." + +Overwhelmed with wonder, he felt the hands which he had grasped now +holding fast his own, that she might compel him to the stillness +which she had commanded. Then the soft voice at his ear went on: + +"You were right in saying that I did not love you--that you would +have urged me into a marriage to which I could not have brought the +true feeling. I did not know it then, but I know it now. And I know +it now because--because--" her voice trembled and her breath came +quick--"because now I do love you. Oh, Horace, better love than this +man could not have or woman give." + +She ended in a burst of tears, and her exhausted body leaned against +him for support. + +For a moment he felt an amazement so overwhelming that he seemed half +unconscious from the whirling in his brain. Then, as a lightning +flash lights up the whole dark heaven in an instant's time, the truth +was revealed to him, and, with that consciousness, his arms were +tight about her and his kisses on her lips. + +If he questioned her at all, it was with his spirit, and her answer +came in that ineffable sense of union which fused their souls in one. +For long still moments they rested so, in that embrace, and when they +moved apart and looked into each other's eyes it was to take up +forever that united life which was to bind them in true marriage. + + * * * * * + +When Nora returned from church she found them sitting quietly before +the fire, the lamp burning brightly under the kettle, from which the +Lady Hurdly that was and was to be had just made tea for her lord. + + THE END + + + + + BY MARY E. WILKINS + + + SILENCE, and Other Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 25. + + JEROME, A POOR MAN. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 50. + + MADELON. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Manifest Destiny + +Author: Julia Magruder + +Release Date: November 13, 2009 [EBook #30464] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MANIFEST DESTINY *** + + + + +Produced by D Alexander and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 321px;"> +<img src="images/icover.jpg" width="321" height="500" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<h1>A Manifest Destiny</h1> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>JULIA MAGRUDER</h2> + +<p class="center">AUTHOR OF “A MAGNIFICENT PLEBEIAN”</p> + +<p class="center">ILLUSTRATED</p> + +<p class="gap"> </p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 124px;"> +<img src="images/i001.jpg" width="124" height="150" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="gap"> </p> + +<p class="center">NEW YORK AND LONDON<br /> +HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS<br /> +1900</p> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<p class="center">Copyright, 1900, by <span class="smcap">Julia Magruder</span>.</p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p class="center"><i>All rights reserved.</i></p> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<p><a name="Frontispiece" id="Frontispiece"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 366px;"> +<img src="images/i003.jpg" class="jpg" width="366" height="500" alt="“BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Page <a href="#Page_16">16</a><br /> +“BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL”</span> +</div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> +<div class="centered"> +<table border="0" width="50%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" summary="CONTENTS"> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER I.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#A_MANIFEST_DESTINY">1</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER X.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">118</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER II.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">14</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XI.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">125</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER III.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">43</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">137</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER IV.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">52</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XIII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">158</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER V.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">66</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XIV.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">171</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER VI.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">72</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XV.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">179</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER VII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">83</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XVI.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">186</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER VIII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">94</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XVII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">197</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td align="left">CHAPTER IX.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">108</a></td> +<td> </td> +<td align="left">CHAPTER XVIII.</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">203</a></td> +</tr> + +</table></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centered"> +<table border="0" width="85%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" summary="ILLUSTRATIONS"> + +<tr> +<td>“BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL”</td> +<td> </td> +<td align="right"><i><a href="#Frontispiece">Frontispiece</a></i></td></tr> + +<tr> +<td>SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR</td> +<td align="center"><i>Facing p.</i></td> +<td align="right"><a href="#Illo2">34</a></td></tr> + +<tr> +<td>“‘AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?’”</td> +<td align="center">“</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#Illo3">60</a></td></tr> + +<tr> +<td>“‘THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN’”</td> +<td align="center">“</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#Illo4">100</a></td></tr> + +<tr> +<td>“THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD”</td> +<td align="center">“</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#Illo5">168</a></td></tr> + +<tr> +<td>“‘TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY’”</td> +<td align="center">“</td> +<td align="right"><a href="#Illo6">190</a></td></tr></table></div> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="A_MANIFEST_DESTINY" id="A_MANIFEST_DESTINY"></a>A MANIFEST DESTINY</h2> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina Mowbray, walking the deck of the ocean steamer bound for +England, was aware that she was observed with interest by a great +many pairs of eyes. Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not +more interested in her than she was in the interpretation of their +glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that +she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, +who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was +her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her +life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, +therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been +rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span>would or +would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were.</p> + +<p>Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect +elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was +vigilantly regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at +times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of +comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They +not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but +they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher +standard, she had won a higher tribute.</p> + +<p>Yet, ardent as this admiration was on the one side, and grateful as +it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would +have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which +no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she +was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to +her once had been so politely repelled that they had not spoken +again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on +coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively.</p> + +<p>There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye +and the imagination in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span>this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, +perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and +expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, +dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning +dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time +there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made +her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in +which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the +brilliancy of a jewel.</p> + +<p>And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the +dual nature which was Bettina’s. Her mother, who had studied her with +a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two +key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor +of Bettina’s heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little +old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was +from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of +sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other +strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of +what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a +sort of desperation, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span>looked about her to see what was yet left +to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. +With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could +never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she +must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in +the world.</p> + +<p>This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had +been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank +and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect.</p> + +<p>In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the +papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her +beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had +fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had +many a pang of fear for the future of her child.</p> + +<p>When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her +heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the +dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the +possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if +she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite +opportunity in the person of one whom her mother <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>entirely trusted +and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was +little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position, +but it had come about quite simply.</p> + +<p>The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her +daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev. Arthur +Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was +cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but +natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it +was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought +her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and +as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of +course that he should fall in love with her.</p> + +<p>So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and +talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account +of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply:</p> + +<p>“He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a +short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat +at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a +London mansion, several <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span>country places, and one of the greatest +positions in English society.”</p> + +<p>“My child, my poor child!” said the mother, in a tone of distress, +“what is to be the end of your inordinate ambition for the things of +the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them +some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! +Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do +that but love.”</p> + +<p>“But, you see, I propose to have love too,” was the gay response. “I +assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as +this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms deep in love with me +already. He is manly, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether +charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, +mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; +but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of +Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>“Bettina,” said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her +daughter’s shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, “you will have to +come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at +last—the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight +and inadequate, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span>and not worthy to be compared with the love which +you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call +forth your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and +I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman’s best heritage. +Don’t marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the +great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows +I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; +but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved +your father more.”</p> + +<p>These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined to come back +to Bettina afterward, though at the time she resented the very +suggestion of what they predicted.</p> + +<p>Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had +become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had +followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a +proposal of marriage.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an +inveterate enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of +kin and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, +and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very +agreeable <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>to be constantly reminded that another man would some day +stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured for Horace a diplomatic +position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was +delightful, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made +him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to +indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, +intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that +moment gave up every other thought but the dominant one of winning +her for his wife.</p> + +<p>Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, +but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly’s answer to his letter +announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings on +this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of +Bettina’s beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady +Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that +his cousin would disapprove. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to +grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up +to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future.</p> + +<p>It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly’s letter, when it came, was a +cold, curt, and most decided <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span>refusal to consent to the marriage. He +objected chiefly on the score of Bettina’s being an American, though +he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to +think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do +better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as +he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very +day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his +senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end.</p> + +<p>Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but +she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a +keen desire to triumph over this obdurate opposition, and when Horace +asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his +altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than +she had hitherto shown.</p> + +<p>The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her +mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her +mother’s failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could +not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs of jealousy, of which +he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother +in itself a proof of her great <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>capacity of loving, and must he not, +with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? +Still, he chafed under the fact that every day her mother became more +and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now +more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact +by saying that the invalid was more suffering and in need of her, and +she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be +all-sufficing.</p> + +<p>At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing—a +summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have +attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the +prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn, he dared not +do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on +what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter +frankly before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would +relent, and spoke so indifferently about their lack of money that he +loved her all the more for it.</p> + +<p>He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina +to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to +propose this he found that the mere suggestion of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>her leaving her +mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her +mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be +braced up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change +would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and +some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would +go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they +could be married.</p> + +<p>With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying +experience for him to have to consider the question of money so +closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly’s heir-at-law, and he could not be +disinherited, so far as the title and entailed estates were +concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to +deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well +enough to understand that he was tenacious of any position once +taken.</p> + +<p>So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently +willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her +sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and +depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what +was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother’s health.</p> + +<p>Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so +vividly that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such +heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration that he could but feel +confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her +letters did come, they were so short, scant, and preoccupied that +they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the +passionately loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while +he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient ones, his pride +became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the +extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his +heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came +to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters +to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his +hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to +speak only of her mother’s health and her grief about it, the young +fellow’s love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, +so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her +attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>vehement love +for her in which he got no response.</p> + +<p>At last, after a longer interval than usual, he got a letter from +Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead—had, indeed, been +dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to +write to him.</p> + +<p>In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution +that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which +she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had +found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe +at once. She fixed the 23d of June as the day on which she had +decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked from New +York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan +which required that she should have one week in London quite free of +Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise +to marry him.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina was in London. The ocean voyage had done her good, and the +necessary effect of change, variety, new faces, new feelings, new +thoughts, had been to take her out of herself—the self that was +nothing but a grieving and bereaved daughter—and to quicken the +pleasure-loving instincts and thirst for admiration which were as +inherently, though not as prominently, a part of her. There was still +a root of bitterness springing up within her whenever she thought of +her mother’s being taken from her, and this very element it was which +urged her to make all she could of life, in the hope of partially +filling the void in her heart. She was not even yet reconciled to the +loss of her mother, and there was a certain defiance of destiny in +her resolution to get some compensation for the wrong she had +sustained in losing what was dearest to her.</p> + +<p>On arriving in London, Bettina went to a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>hotel, and from there made +inquiries as to the whereabouts of Lord Hurdly. Parliament was in +session, and his lordship was in his town house in Grosvenor Square. +Having ascertained the hour at which he was most likely to be at +home, Bettina betook herself at that hour to his house.</p> + +<p>She refused to give her name to the servant who answered her ring, +and asked merely that Lord Hurdly might be told that a lady wished to +speak to him on a matter of importance. The servant, after a moment’s +hesitation, ushered her into a small reception-room on the first +floor, and requested her to wait there.</p> + +<p>She stood for a few moments alone in this room, her heart beating +fast. She wore the American style of deep mourning, which swathed her +in dense, impenetrable black from head to feet, and seemed to add to +her somewhat unusual tallness.</p> + +<p>The door opened. Lord Hurdly entered. She had seen photographs of +him, and even through that thick veil would have known him anywhere. +The tall, thin figure, sharp eyes, aquiline nose, clean-shaven face, +and scrupulous dress were all familiar to both memory and +imagination.</p> + +<p>He paused on the threshold of the room, as if slightly repelled by +the strange appearance of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>the shrouded figure before him. Then he +spoke, coldly and concisely.</p> + +<p>“You wished to speak to me?” he said. “I have a few moments only at +my disposal.”</p> + +<p>Bettina raised one hand and threw back her veil, revealing thus not +only her face, but her whole figure clothed in smooth, tight-fitting +black, so plain and devoid of trimming that the exquisite lines were +shown to the best advantage. Her face, surrounded by black draperies, +looked as purely tinted as a flower, and the excitement of the moment +had made her eyes brilliant and flushed her cheeks.</p> + +<p>The imperturbability of Lord Hurdly’s face relaxed. His lips parted; +a smothered sound, as of surprise, escaped him. Certainly at that +moment Bettina was nothing less than bewilderingly beautiful.</p> + +<p>“I have to beg your pardon for coming to you so unceremoniously,” she +said. “My excuse is that I have a matter of great importance to speak +to you of.”</p> + +<p>Her voice was certainly a charming one, and if her accent was such as +he might have found fault with under other circumstances, under these +he found it an added attraction. She had put her own construction on +Lord Hurdly’s evident surprise <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span>at sight of her, and it was one which +gave her an increased self-possession and added to her sense of +power.</p> + +<p>“Let us go into another room,” said Lord Hurdly. “I cannot keep you +here, and whatever you may have to say to me I am quite at leisure to +attend to.”</p> + +<p>He led the way from the room, and Bettina followed in silence. She +had had innumerable dreams of grandeur, poor child! but she had been +too ignorant even to imagine such a place as this house. Its +furnishing and decorations represented not only the accumulated +wealth, but also the accumulated taste and opportunity, of many +successive generations. She felt an ineffable emotion of deep, +sensuous enjoyment in her present surroundings which made her heart +leap at the idea that all these things might some day be hers. Lord +Hurdly looked exceedingly well preserved, and that day might be very +far distant. All the more reason, therefore, she told herself, why +she should make peace between him and Horace, so that she might at +least be sometimes a guest in this house, and be lifted into an +atmosphere where she felt for the first time that she was in her true +element. It was not only the magnificence which she saw on every side +which <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span>so appealed to her. It was that air of the best in everything +that made her feel, in Lord Hurdly’s presence, as well as in his +house, that civilization could not go further—that life, on its +material side, had nothing more to offer. And Bettina had now reached +a point in her experience where material pleasure seemed to be all +that was left. She quite believed that all of the joy of loving was +buried in the grave of her mother.</p> + +<p>Her heart was beating fast as she entered Lord Hurdly’s library and +saw him close the door behind them. It then struck her as being a +little peculiar that he should have brought her here without even +knowing who she was or what she wanted of him.</p> + +<p>A doubt, a scarcely possible suspicion, came into her mind.</p> + +<p>“Have you any idea who I am?” she said.</p> + +<p>“It suffices me to know what you are.”</p> + +<p>“Ah! I do not understand,” she said, puzzled.</p> + +<p>“You have come upon me without ceremony, madam,” said Lord Hurdly, +with a slightly old-fashioned pomposity in his polished manner, “and +I may therefore ask you to excuse an absence of ceremony in me in +alluding to the impression which you have made upon me. You are a +stranger to me—an American, I judge from <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>your speech. I hope that I +am to be so fortunate as to hear that there is something which I can +do for you.”</p> + +<p>“There is,” Bettina said—“a thing so vital and important to me that, +now I am in your presence, I am afraid to venture to speak, for fear +you may refuse to hear my prayer.”</p> + +<p>“You are in small danger from that quarter, I assure you. I am ready +to do for you whatever you may ask. Let me, however, put a few +questions before I hear your request. You are wearing mourning. Is +it, perhaps, for your husband?”</p> + +<p>“For my mother,” said Bettina, with a sudden trembling of the lip and +suffusion of the eyes which gave her a new charm, in revealing the +fact that this young goddess had a human heart which could be quickly +stirred to emotion.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” said Lord Hurdly, with great courtesy. “Forget that I +have roughly touched a spot so sore, and tell me this, if you will: +are you married or unmarried?”</p> + +<p>“I am unmarried,” said Bettina, beginning to tremble as she found the +important moment upon her; “but I am about to be married. I have made +this visit to London beforehand only <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>to see you. The man I am going +to marry is your cousin and heir, Horace Spotswood.”</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly’s guarded face betrayed a certain agitation, but the +signs of this were quickly controlled.</p> + +<p>He looked straight into her eyes for a few seconds without speaking. +Then he crossed the room and touched an electric button, saying, as +he did so:</p> + +<p>“I will get rid of an engagement that I had, so that I may be quite +at leisure to talk with you.”</p> + +<p>Neither spoke again until the servant had come, taken his +instructions, and gone away, closing the door behind him. There was a +certain determination in Lord Hurdly’s manner and expression which +did not escape Bettina. She was sure that her revelation of her +identity had prompted some decisive course of action in his mind, but +what it was she could not guess from that inscrutable face.</p> + +<p>“I am now quite free for the morning,” her companion said. “Naturally +there is much for us to say to each other. Will you not lay aside +your bonnet and wrap? The day is warm, and that heavy mourning must +distress you.”</p> + +<p>Certainly his manner was kind. Bettina began <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span>to like him and to hope +for success in her object in coming here. Quickly unbuttoning her +black gloves, she unsheathed her lovely hands, which were bare of +rings. Then with a few deft motions she removed her outer wrap and +her bonnet with its long, thick veil.</p> + +<p>In so doing she revealed the fact that she had an exquisite head, +with delicious masses of brown hair which looked almost reddish in +its contrast to the dense black of her gown, the smooth severity of +which accentuated every lovely curve of her figure, as it would have +done every defect, had there been defect. This gown was fitted to her +so absolutely that one had the satisfying sense that one looked at +the woman instead of at her clothes. There were fine old portraits on +the wall, of noble ladies who had once done the honors of this great +establishment, but the fairest of them paled before the glowing +loveliness of this girl. For she looked a girl, despite her sombre +garments, and there was a certain timidity in her manner which +strengthened this impression.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly offered her a seat, and then took another, facing her.</p> + +<p>“In engaging yourself to marry Horace Spotswood,” he began, +deliberately, “you have made <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>the supreme, if not the irreparable, +mistake of your life.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s white skin showed the sudden ebb of the blood in her veins +as he said these words.</p> + +<p>“Why?” she asked, concisely.</p> + +<p>“Because he is no match for you, and because your marrying him would +not only place you on a lower plane than where you belong, but it +would also so seriously injure his position in life that there would +be no possible chance for him to retrieve it until my death. I am +comparatively a young man, and likely to live a long time. Apart from +that, I may marry. I had no expectation or intention of doing so, but +his recent defiance of me has made me sometimes feel inclined to the +idea. I have so far changed in my feeling on this subject that if I +could meet and win a woman to my mind, I would marry at once. What +then would become of Horace? He has a mere pittance besides his pay, +which is a ridiculous sum for a man to marry on. He has wronged you +in putting you in such a position, and you have equally wronged him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina had turned very white as he spoke. The picture he drew was +bad enough in itself, but to have it sketched before her in her +present surroundings made it infinitely worse.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p><p>“If we have wronged each other, we have done it ignorantly,” she +said. “He assured me that you were determined never to marry, and he +counted on your past kindness and your attachment to him—”</p> + +<p>She broke off, her voice shaken.</p> + +<p>“On the same ground I counted on him,” said Lord Hurdly. “He was in +no position to marry against my will, and in engaging to do so he +defied me. Let him take the consequences.”</p> + +<p>“Then you are determined not to relent?” Bettina faltered. “You will +not forgive him for the offence of proposing to make me his wife?”</p> + +<p>“I did not say that,” returned Lord Hurdly, with a subtle change of +tone. “I certainly should not forgive him for marrying you, but for +proposing to do so I am ready enough to forgive him, provided he +comes to his senses at that point and goes no further. In that event +I am ready not only to continue the handsome income that I have +allowed him, but to give him outright the principal of it.”</p> + +<p>Bettina had never pretended that she was deeply in love with Horace +Spotswood. Indeed, she had quite decided within herself that she was +incapable of such a state of feeling, and it was her belief that the +fervor and intensity of love <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>which she had given to her mother had +taken the place of what some women give to their husbands. Still, she +looked upon her prospective marriage to him as one of the fixed facts +of the universe, and Lord Hurdly’s words bewildered her.</p> + +<p>Keener than this surprise, however, was her sense of humiliation at +the implacable offence which Lord Hurdly had taken at his heir’s +proposed marriage with herself. That he had wished Horace to marry +she knew; it was therefore the woman whom he had chosen that Lord +Hurdly resented.</p> + +<p>She rose to her feet, feeling herself giddy, and knowing that she was +white with agitation. Her one idea was to get away—to escape the +scrutiny of the intense gaze which was fixed upon her.</p> + +<p>“I must go. I beg your pardon for coming,” she said, with a proud +coldness, reaching for her wrap.</p> + +<p>“You must not go. I owe you endless thanks for coming, and I will +show you that you have to congratulate yourself also on this +interview. If you went now, you would defeat all the good that may +come of it. Sit down, I beg of you, and hear me out.”</p> + +<p>His manner was not only urgent, it was also <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>kind, and nothing could +have been more respectful than his every look and tone.</p> + +<p>Bettina sat down again and waited.</p> + +<p>“What is it that has shocked you?” he said. “Is it because of your +great love for Horace—or is it his for you which you are thinking of +most?”</p> + +<p>“I do not see that I am bound to answer you that question,” said +Bettina, proudly. “My reasons are sufficient for myself.”</p> + +<p>“You are in no way bound, my dear young lady, but you would be wise +to answer me. I have every disposition to act as your friend in this +matter, and you would be making a mistake to turn away from me +without hearing what I have to say. If you are imagining that the +young fellow with whom you have an engagement of marriage would be +rendered inconsolable by the loss of you, when it would be made up to +him by the possession of a fortune, perhaps you overestimate things.”</p> + +<p>“What things?” she said, still cold and withheld in her manner, her +pale face very set.</p> + +<p>“The unselfishness of man’s love in general, and of this man’s in +particular,” he said; “and, for another thing, yourself. It seems a +brutal thing to say, but if you believe that that hotheaded, +undisciplined boy is capable of a sustained <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>affection against such +odds of fortune as this case presents, then I disagree with you, and +I know him better than you do.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s face flushed.</p> + +<p>“He does love me—he does!” she cried, in some agitation. “I have +been cold and careless toward him, and have told him that my heart +was buried in my mother’s grave.” At these words her voice trembled. +“He knows how hard it is for me to think of another kind of love just +yet; but he has been kindness itself, and has written me the dearest, +lovingest letters that ever a woman had. If they have been a little +rarer and colder lately, it is only because of my own shortcomings +toward him. I shall try to atone for them now. Since I realize how +great an injury I have done to him, I shall try to be his +compensation for it.”</p> + +<p>“And you think you will succeed? I doubt it.”</p> + +<p>Something in his manner impressed her in spite of herself. Perhaps he +saw that it was so, for he pushed his advantage.</p> + +<p>“Compare the length and opportunities of my intercourse with him and +yours,” he said. “You would be acting the part of absolute folly not +to listen to me now. In the end you will be as free <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span>to act as you +were in the beginning. Only let me remind you that his future is +involved as well as your own.”</p> + +<p>He saw that this argument told.</p> + +<p>“I am willing to listen,” she said.</p> + +<p>“I am grateful to you,” he answered, with that air of finished +politeness which makes the best graces of a young man seem crude, and +which Bettina was not too ignorant to appreciate at its proper value.</p> + +<p>“I have known Horace as child and boy and man—if he may yet be +called a man,” he said, with a light touch of scorn. “You have known +him in one capacity and state only—that of a lover, a <i>rôle</i> he can +no doubt play very prettily, and one in which, despite his youth, he +is far from being unpractised. He has been in love oftener than it +behooves me to say or you to hear—quite harmless affairs, of course, +but they prove to one who has watched him as I have that his nature +is fickle and capricious. I confess that when I heard you say, just +now, that his letters of late had been rarer and less ardent, I could +not wholly attribute it to the reason which so quickly satisfied you. +As a rule, these intensely ardent feelings are not of long duration, +and I know well both the intensity and the brevity of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>Horace’s +attacks of love. It was for this very reason that I so resented the +idea of his marrying without my advice. I foresaw that he would soon +weary of any woman. All the more reason, therefore, for his choosing +one who was suited to him, apart from the matter of his loving her. I +knew he had not the staying quality—that he was quite incapable of a +sustained affection. I therefore considered his taste in the matter +less than my own. As he was my heir in the event of my not marrying, +I felt that I had the right to demand that he should marry suitably +to his position.”</p> + +<p>“I regret that he should have made an engagement which has +disappointed you,” said Bettina, a slight curl at the corners of her +lips.</p> + +<p>“I regret it also; but you may remember that at the beginning of this +interview I spoke of this mistake on your part and on his as great, +though not perhaps irreparable.”</p> + +<p>He was looking at her keenly, and he saw that his words had no effect +upon her except to mystify her.</p> + +<p>“I do not see any way to its reparation,” she said, and was about to +continue, when he interrupted her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p><p>“I have pointed out the way—a rupture of the engagement by mutual +consent.”</p> + +<p>“A consent that he would never give,” said Bettina, with a certain +pride of confidence.</p> + +<p>“And you?” he asked.</p> + +<p>“Nor I either,” she said, “unless I were convinced that he wished +it.”</p> + +<p>“It would perhaps be not impossible to convince you of that, granted +a little time,” said Lord Hurdly. “But, apart from his wish, have you +no consideration for his interest? His position in diplomacy is at +present insignificant, but he has talents and a chance to rise, +unless that chance be utterly frustrated by his embarrassing himself +with a family—a condition that would be death to his career. Ask any +one you choose, and they will tell you that there cannot be two +opinions about this. Besides, through my help he has been able to +live like a man of fortune. His allowance, however, will be stopped +on the day of his marriage, if he persists in such a course. If he +abandons it, he will find himself with the principal as well as the +interest at his disposal. So situated, he has every chance to rise. +Under the other conditions, he inevitably falls. What would become of +him ultimately is too dreary a line of conjecture to dwell upon.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p><p>Bettina’s face was paler still. The tears sprang to her eyes—tears +of mortification and keen regret. The thought of her mother pierced +through her, and the consciousness that she had no longer the refuge +of that gentle heart to cast herself upon almost overcame her. Pride +lent her aid, however, and she rallied quickly.</p> + +<p>“You have fully demonstrated to me,” she said, “that I have injured +your cousin in promising to marry him. I did it in ignorance, +however. With the facts before me which you have just given, I should +perhaps have acted differently. Regret now, however, is useless.”</p> + +<p>“On the contrary, this is one of the rare cases in which regret is +not useless. The reparation of your mistake is in your own hands.”</p> + +<p>The possibility of doing what he urged flashed through Bettina’s +mind. Horace would certainly be infinitely better off without her, in +every rational and material sense; and at this stage of Bettina’s +development the rational and material were predominant. But what of +her, apart from Horace? This thought found vent in words.</p> + +<p>“You have been looking at this subject from your own point of view,” +she said, “and perhaps naturally. I must, however, think of an aspect +of the case in which you have no interest. I am <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>absolutely alone in +the world, and if, for your cousin’s sake, I made this sacrifice—”</p> + +<p>In spite of herself her voice faltered.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly drew his chair a little nearer to her. His eyes were +fixed upon her with a yet more intent gaze as he said, with +directness and decision:</p> + +<p>“You are quite mistaken. It is this aspect of the case which concerns +me chiefly. If, as is undoubtedly true, the prevention of this most +mistaken marriage would be an advantage to Horace, to you it may be a +far greater gain, and to me it may be the fulfilment of all that I +have ever desired in life.”</p> + +<p>“What do you mean?” she said, bewildered.</p> + +<p>“I mean that the supreme desire of my heart is, and has been from the +moment my eyes rested on you, to make you Lady Hurdly absolutely and +at once, instead of your waiting for a name and position which, after +all, may never come to you.”</p> + +<p>Her heart beat so that her breathing came in smothered gasps. The +piercing demand of his eyes was almost terrifying to her. She saw +that he was absolutely in earnest, and the commiseration which she +felt for Horace struggled with the dazzling temptation which this +opportunity <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span>offered to that strong ambition which was so great an +element in her essential nature.</p> + +<p>“Do not be shocked or startled by the suddenness of my proposal,” he +said. “I trust that you will come to see that it is eminently wise +and reasonable. When I said the marriage was an unsuitable one, I was +thinking more of you than of Horace. Your beauty, your manner, your +voice, your words, your whole ego and personality, show you to have +been born for a great position. It is a case of manifest destiny. The +fortune and the social rank that I can bestow are all too little for +you; I should like to be able to put a queen’s crown on your +beautiful head. But such as I am—a man who has made his impression +on the current history of his country, and who, though no longer +young in the crude sense that counts only by months and years, is +still by no means old—and such things as I have and can command, I +lay at your feet, begging you humbly to impart to them a value which +they have never had before, by accepting them and becoming the sharer +of my name, my position, and my fortune, and the mistress of my +heart.”</p> + +<p>He had risen and was standing in front of her with the resolution of +a strong purpose in his eyes. But she could not meet them, those +dominating, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span>searching eyes. The thoughts that his words had given +rise to were too agitating, too uncertain, too tormenting to her. The +thought of giving Horace up pained her more than she would have +believed, while the vision of the grandeur so urged upon her, which +not ten minutes gone she had seen dashed like a full beaker from her +thirsty lips, tormented her as well. It was to her a vast sacrifice +to think of resigning such possibilities, yet at the first she had no +other thought but to resign them. The arguments for Horace’s future +career which had been urged upon her also played their part in her +consciousness now, and the seething confusion of images in her brain +made her senses swim.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly must have seen her agitation, for he hastened to say:</p> + +<p>“I have been too hasty. You must forgive me. Do not try to answer me +at present. I see that you are overwrought. Let me beseech you to +rest a little while. I will send for the housekeeper.”</p> + +<p>“No, no! I must go,” she answered, starting to her feet. But she had +overestimated her strength. She sank back in her chair.</p> + +<p>He went himself and brought her a glass of wine, talking to her with +a soothing reassurance <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span>as she drank it. He reproached himself for +having been too hurried, too rash, but pleaded the earnestness of his +hopes as an excuse. When she had taken the wine she wanted to go, but +he entreated her so humbly not to punish him too deeply for his fault +that when he begged her to let him call the housekeeper to sit with +her until luncheon, which he implored her to take before leaving, she +acquiesced, too fagged out mentally to take any decided position of +her own.</p> + +<p>To the housekeeper Lord Hurdly explained that this lady was in deep +trouble—a fact sufficiently attested by her heavy mourning—and +would like to rest awhile before eating some luncheon. Bettina saw +herself regarded with a respectful awe which she had never had a +taste of before. The housekeeper, with the sweetest of voices and +kindest of manners, promised to do all in her power, and Lord Hurdly +withdrew.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo2" id="Illo2"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 403px;"> +<img src="images/i039.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="403" height="400" alt="“SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR”</span> +</div> + +<p>Bettina could not talk. She lay back on the lounge and submitted to +be gently fanned and having salts occasionally held to her nose. But +all her effort was to compose her thoughts—a difficult attempt, as +the image of her mother was the one which insisted on taking the +pre-eminence in her mind. She ordered it down, with a sort of +bitterness. Had her mother been alive,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>she would have gladly fled from this puzzle into which her life had +tangled itself, and gone back to America to rest and mother-love. So +she told herself, at least. But then followed the reflection that in +her mother’s death the refuge of love’s calm and protection was gone +from her forever, and that she must either remain in Europe under one +or the other of the two conditions offered her, or else resign +herself to the apathy of despair.</p> + +<p>It was not in her to do this, and the brilliant possibilities which +Lord Hurdly had suggested flashed into her mind, and so excited her +that she suddenly rose to her feet and announced that her slight +indisposition was past, asking the housekeeper to take her somewhere +to rearrange her hair and prepare herself for luncheon.</p> + +<p>Even had Bettina been the possessor of a happy heart which rejoiced +in a fulfilled and contented love for the man she had promised to +marry, the other, dominating side of her nature could not have been +quite stifled as she walked through the halls and corridors of this +magnificent mansion. These were things her imagination had always +pictured as her proper position in life, and which the unregenerate +heart within her had always craved. But how far beyond her ignorant +dreams <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>was the grand repose of this beautiful house! It was so much +more than she had conceived that the new supply to her senses seemed, +in a way, to create a new demand in them.</p> + +<p>Never, perhaps, had she so appreciated what it must be to be a +<i>grande dame</i> as to-day, when she was on the point of refusing such +an opportunity, though it was just within her grasp. For she had no +idea but that she should refuse it, and this very consciousness made +her more friendly in her feelings and actions toward Lord Hurdly than +she would otherwise have been.</p> + +<p>When she had adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair, before large +mirrors which gave her a better view of her loveliness than she had +ever had before, a servant summoned her to luncheon, and at the foot +of the stairs she saw Lord Hurdly awaiting her.</p> + +<p>So seen, a decided baldness, which she had not much noticed before, +became evident, but there was a certain distinction in the man’s +general air which this rather seemed to heighten. His manner of +delicate solicitude for her was the perfection of good-breeding, and +when she answered him reassuringly, and walked by his side to the +dining-room, a sudden conviction seized her that she had come into +her own—that this was the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>position for which she had been born, and +that, independent of the fact that she had determined to decline it, +it was her fate, which she could not escape. She tried to coax the +belief that it was as Horace’s wife that she would one day enjoy all +these delights, but the thought eluded her. She could not see Horace +in the seat now filled by his cousin. In imagination as well as in +reality it was Lord Hurdly who occupied that seat.</p> + +<p>This conviction, which every moment deepened, she could not shake off +and could not account for. She had a feeling that it was forced upon +her consciousness through some dominating power of Lord Hurdly’s +spirit over her own. She felt as if she were hypnotized. She wondered +if it could be so, and if she would presently come to herself and +find that it was all a delusion and she had never seen Lord Hurdly or +his house, but was on her way to St. Petersburg to join Horace and +settle down to a limited and economical way of living.</p> + +<p>At this thought her heart fell. She had laid her hand upon this +dazzling prize of worldly wealth and position. Could she let it go?</p> + +<p>During luncheon no reference was made to the subject of their late +conversation. The servants remained in the room, and Lord Hurdly +talked <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span>of public and quite impersonal affairs. In so doing he showed +a trenchant insight, a broad knowledge of the world, an undeniably +powerful mentality, and a decided skill in the art of pleasing. If +the tone of his talk was cynical, it found, for that very reason, all +the clearer echo in Bettina’s heart. A certain tendency to cynicism +was inborn in her, and the bitterness she felt at the loss of her +mother had accentuated this. What was the use of loving, she asked +herself, when love must end like this? In her heart she passionately +hoped that she might never love again. And she had also a shrinking +from being loved in any ardent manner that might make demands upon +her which she could not respond to.</p> + +<p>When the time came for Bettina to leave, she found that the cab in +which she had come had been sent away, and, in its place, Lord +Hurdly’s brougham waited for her. He escorted her himself to the +carriage door, and when the great footman who held it open touched +his hat in silence as he took her orders, and then mounted beside his +twin brother on the box and she was bowled away, on padded cushions +from which emanated a delicious odor of fine leather, Bettina felt +that, for the first time in her life, she was in her proper element.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p><p>The events of the morning seemed to her like some agitating dream. +She wondered how long it had been since she left her hotel, and tried +to guess what time it was. As she did so, her eyes fell on the small +clock, neatly encased in the leather upholstering of the carriage +just in front of her. The fitness of this object and of everything +about her gave her a delicious sense of adaptation to her environment +which she had never had before.</p> + +<p>When she got out at her hotel, the footman, with the same salute of +ineffable respect, said that his lordship had told him to ask if she +had any further orders for the carriage to-day or to-morrow. She +declined the offer, but, none the less, she felt flattered by the +attention.</p> + +<p>Lord Hurdly’s only further reference to their last conversation had +been to ask her to pay his words the respect of a few days’ +consideration at least. He had learned from her that Horace was +unaware of her being in England, and that she had a whole week at her +disposal before he would expect to meet her there. When he asked for +a part of that week, in which to give him the opportunity to prove to +her that her duty to Horace, as well as to herself, demanded the +rupture of this mistaken engagement, she was sufficiently influenced +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>by the subtlety of this appeal to grant his request.</p> + +<p>To her surprise, several days went by, and he did not come to see her +nor write. Every morning the carriage was sent to the hotel and the +footman came to her door for orders, but she always answered that she +did not require it. Every morning, also, came a lavish offering of +flowers, the great exotic flowers which Bettina loved—huge, +heavy-petalled roses and green translucent-looking orchids. But, +except for these, he did not thrust himself upon her notice—a fact +which during the first and second days she gave him the greatest +credit for, but by the third had grown to feel a certain resentment +at.</p> + +<p>In the mean time there had followed her from home a letter from +Horace. It was the coldest she had ever had from him, and set her to +thinking deeply as to the possible cause of his coldness. Could it +be, she asked herself, that Lord Hurdly was right in calling him +capricious? Had he—as was possible, of course—cooled in his ardor +for her, and come to see that this hasty engagement of his had been a +great mistake, as she herself had come to see?</p> + +<p>For this point, at least, Bettina had positively reached. Why, +therefore, should she adhere to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>her engagement in the face of the +knowledge that such an adherence would be to his disadvantage, no +less than to hers?</p> + +<p>These arguments would have quite prevailed with her but for one +thing. This was the conviction, not yet changed, though somewhat +shaken by Lord Hurdly’s account of him, that Horace really loved her +and would suffer in losing her.</p> + +<p>Deprived of the restraint of her mother’s influence, Bettina had +progressed with rapidity in her way toward worldliness and selfish +ambition, but she had a heart. Her love for her mother had given +abundant proof of that, if there were nothing else; and now her heart +combated the influence of her head, which decreed that only a fool +would reject the great good fortune now held out to her.</p> + +<p>In point of fact, Bettina had been influenced more by ambition than +by love in engaging herself to Horace, and the gratification of a far +more splendid ambition was offered to her in making this other +marriage. In it, also, love would play but little part, and this she +felt to be decidedly a gain. Yet she was not so far lost to the +sentiments of kindness and loyalty, that she had learned from the +teaching and example of her mother, as <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span>not to hesitate before +wounding and humiliating the man who, as she still believed, loved +her devotedly. Could it have been proved that she was mistaken in so +believing, Lord Hurdly’s case would have been already won.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>n the end Lord Hurdly prevailed, and that end was swifter in coming +than Bettina would have believed to be possible. She had allowed +herself a week to wait in London, and for the first day or two of +that week she lived in dread lest Lord Hurdly should come to her and +renew the arguments which she was quite determined to combat. As the +days passed and he did not come, she began to fear that the +opportunity of final decision on the momentous question of her choice +between these two men would not again be offered her. Her better +nature still held her to her pledge to Horace, but already she had +come to feel that, but for his disappointment at losing her, she +would have accepted Lord Hurdly’s proposal, as it offered a full and +immediate fulfilment of her dreams of ambition, and the other +postponed these indefinitely, while it promised comparatively little +in any other direction.</p> + +<p>Toward the end of the week Lord Hurdly called, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>and, without any +reference to his own hopes and intentions, spoke, with what seemed to +be a considerable hesitation and regret, of his young cousin’s +character and mode of life, which he declared were known, to every +one except Bettina, to be exceedingly capricious—even light. He +dwelt upon the fact, well known to Bettina, of his earnest desire +that his cousin and heir should marry, and gave as a reason for this +desire, what he declared to be the accepted fact, that Horace was +inclined to a dissipated manner of living, which he hoped marriage +might correct.</p> + +<p>Poor Bettina! She had believed the young man, to whom she had pledged +herself, to be the very opposite of all this. Yet how absolutely +ignorant concerning him she really was! And the rector of her church, +who was supposed to vouch for him, knew in reality as little as she. +How easily she might have been mistaken in him! And yet, and yet, +there was a still, small voice in her heart which confirmed her in +her resolve to believe in him until she had proof that such a belief +was ill founded.</p> + +<p>“With his past I have nothing to do,” she said to Lord Hurdly, with a +certain show of pride. “If it has been lower than my ideal of him, I +regret it; but I am entirely sure that since he has <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span>known me and had +my promise to be his wife he has been true to all that that promise +required of him.”</p> + +<p>“This being your conclusion,” Lord Hurdly answered, “you force upon +me the necessity of showing you a letter which I have to-day received +from a friend in St. Petersburg, and which I would, without strong +reason to the contrary, have gladly spared you the pain of reading.” +With these words, he handed Bettina a letter.</p> + +<p>It was signed with a name unknown to her, but written evidently in +the tone and manner of an intimate friend. The first page or two +referred to matters wholly indifferent to her—public affairs and the +like—but toward the end were these words:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>“Are you as set as ever in your determination not to marry? Pity it +is that such a noble name and fortune as yours should not pass on to +a son of your own, instead of to one who, it is to be feared, will do +little to honor it. I see him here, at court and everywhere, +accurately fulfilling the rather unflattering predictions which I +long ago made concerning him. There is a story that he became engaged +to be married during his travels in America, and I hear that he owns +up to it and speaks of being joined by his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span><i>fiancée</i> and married on +this side. I hope it may not be so. Certainly his present manner of +living argues against the rumor, unless—a supposition I am reluctant +to believe—he proposes to keep up, as a married man, the habits +which are so readily forgiven to a bachelor, though not to a +husband.”</p></div> + +<p>There was more, but Bettina read no further. This was enough. She had +turned away to a window, that she might read this letter unobserved +by Lord Hurdly, who had considerately walked to the other end of the +room.</p> + +<p>When at last she approached him and gave him back the letter, she was +very pale, but her manner was wholly without indecision and her voice +was resolute as she said:</p> + +<p>“I thank you, Lord Hurdly, for the service which you have rendered +me. This letter has made my future course quite clear. I shall write +to your cousin to-day that everything is at an end between us. And +now will you be good enough to leave me? I wish to make my +arrangements to return to America at once.”</p> + +<p>Even as she said the words, the bitter barrenness of this +prospect—the old dull life, without the dear presence which had been +its one and sufficient palliation—rose before her mind and appalled +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span>her. Perhaps Lord Hurdly saw in her face some change of expression +which he construed as favorable to himself, for he hastened to say:</p> + +<p>“Will you not, before taking so rash a step, consider the proposal +which I have made to you? I can offer you the substance of which the +other was only the shadow, and I can pledge to you the stable and +unalterable devotion of a man who has lived long enough to know his +own mind, and who declares to you that you are the only woman whom he +has ever desired to put in the position of his wife.”</p> + +<p>It was impossible not to feel some consciousness of satisfaction at a +tribute which her own knowledge of facts convinced her to be sincere, +but Bettina’s heart and mind were still too preoccupied to meet him +in the way he wished. She repeated her request that he would leave +her, and so earnest and distressed was her manner that he complied, +leaving behind him an impression of the deepest solicitude for her, +and the most earnest desire on his part to atone for the wrong which +his kinsman had done her.</p> + +<p>Bettina threw herself upon the lounge and abandoned herself to a fit +of weeping—so overwhelming, so despairing, so heart-breaking that +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span>she could scarcely believe that she, who had thought that all her +power of deep suffering had been exhausted, could still find it in +her to care so much for any other grief.</p> + +<p>The worst of it was that, now it was quite evident that she was +forever divided from Horace, the charm of his manner and appearance, +the tenderness of his love-making, came back to her with a power +which they had never exercised upon her in reality. Never, surely, +had a man existed who was, to appearance at least, more frank, +sincere, ardent, and deeply in love than he had seemed to be with +her. It made his perfidy appear the greater. Nothing but the sight of +that letter could have made her believe it; but that, taken in +connection with the rareness and coolness of his recent letters to +her, made it all too plain that the ardent flame of his love had +burned out, and that he had repented his impetuosity, now that he had +had time to think of the sacrifice which it entailed.</p> + +<p>This was indeed great for a man in his position, ambitious in his +career, and with his foot already on the ladder that led to success. +She even began to doubt whether he would have fulfilled his +obligations to her when it came to the point.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p><p>She got out his letters and read them over. How passionately loving +were the early ones—how cool and constrained the more recent! The +contrast struck her far more now in the light of recent events. It +really seemed as if he might be trying to get out of the engagement.</p> + +<p>At this thought pride came to her rescue. She felt herself grow hard +and cold, and her composure returned completely. She would never let +him know what she had heard, for that might make it seem as if she +gave him up from compulsion. She sat down and wrote quickly a few +formal sentences, saying that she had mistaken her own feelings, and +that she wished to break the engagement. She added that she was +returning immediately to America, as indeed she was intending to do +at the time of the writing of this letter.</p> + +<p>After it had gone, and was on its way to St. Petersburg, a mental +condition of such abject misery settled down upon her that the +thought of the endless days and nights of idle monotony which would +be her lot if she returned home, and the awful void of her mother’s +absence, became intolerable. She could not do it. She must find some +way of escape from such a fate.</p> + +<p>Just as she was casting about for such a way, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>Lord Hurdly came to +see her. The escape which he offered had in it many elements of the +strongest attractiveness for her. Since she could not be happy, as +she believed, why might she not get from life the satisfaction which +comes from the holding of a great position, the opportunity of being +admired and wielding a powerful influence? It was a prospect which +had always charmed her; and now, with no alternative but lonely +isolation and bitter weariness, was it strange that she decided to +accept Lord Hurdly’s offer?</p> + +<p>And if it was to be, what need was there to wait? Wounded in her +pride as she was by the revelation of Horace which she had received, +she relished the idea of becoming at once what he had proposed to +make her—and afterward repented of. She was fully convinced in her +mind that he had repented, and her blood beat faster as she thought +of his consternation on hearing of this marriage. She felt eager that +he should hear of it at once.</p> + +<p>And so indeed he did. On the heels of his receipt of Bettina’s letter +her marriage to Lord Hurdly was announced by cable—not to him, but +through the newspapers.</p> + +<p>Then into his heart there entered also the exceeding <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>bitterness of a +lost ideal. She became to him, as he had become to her, the image of +broken faith, capricious feeling, and overweening worldly ambition.</p> + +<p>Yet in the heart of the man, who had loved completely and supremely, +as Bettina never had, there was a feeling which made him say to +himself, with a conviction which he knew to be immutable, that +marriage was not for him. The present Lord Hurdly had said the same, +and had changed his mind. For himself he knew that he should not, for +all of love that he was capable of feeling had been given to the +woman who had cast him off.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had gone through her first London season as Lady Hurdly, and +certainly no girl’s ambitious dreams could have forecast a more +brilliant experience. She had been far too ignorant to imagine such +subtle delights of the senses as resulted from the wealth and +eminence which she had attained to in marrying Lord Hurdly. And +beyond the mere sensuous appeal which was made to her by the wearing +of magnificent clothes and jewels, and the being always surrounded +with objects of beauty and means of luxury, she had the greater +delight of having her feverishly active mind continually supplied +with a stimulus, which it now more than ever needed. This was +furnished by the innumerable social demands made upon her, and the +complete power which she felt within herself to respond to them not +only creditably, but in a way that should make even Lord Hurdly +wonder at her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p><p>True, she had had no social training, and in a less powerful position +she might have shown her ignorance and incapacity, for she would then +have had to take a personal supervision of the things which she now +left utterly alone, and which, being essential to be done, were +done—how and by whom she did not ask. Lord Hurdly had so long done +the honors of his house without a wife that it was natural to him to +continue the direction of household affairs, with the aid of the +accomplished assistants who were in his employment; so Bettina had no +more to do with such matters than if she had become the mistress of a +royal household. At the proper time she showed herself at Lord +Hurdly’s side, and she had beauty enough and wit enough not only to +do credit to that high position, but to cast a glory over it which he +knew in his heart no other Lady Hurdly of them all had ever done.</p> + +<p>That she enjoyed it, who could doubt that saw her, day after day and +evening after evening, beautifying with her presence the social +gatherings at her own splendid house, and at those of the new +acquaintances who sought her society and distinguished her with their +attentions wherever she might go.</p> + +<p>Having had no experience of wealth, it never <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>seemed to occur to her +that it could have its definite limit, and she ordered costumes and +invented ways of spending money which sometimes surprised her lord, +but which also pleased him. His fortune was so large, and had been so +long without such demands upon it, that it was a source of genuine +satisfaction to him to see that Bettina knew how to avail herself of +her brilliant opportunity. Save and except a wife, he was already +possessed of every adjunct that could do credit to his name and +position, and in marrying Bettina he had been largely influenced by +the fact that she was qualified to supply this one deficiency with a +distinction which no other woman he had ever seen could have bestowed +upon the position.</p> + +<p>So, to the world, Bettina seemed completely satisfied, and in the +worldly sense she was so. In this sense, also, Lord Hurdly seemed and +was satisfied in his marriage. How it was with them in their hearts +no one knew, and perhaps there was no one who cared to know. The one +being to whom this question was of strong interest was very far away. +He had shifted his position from Russia to India about the time of +his cousin’s marriage, and Bettina never heard his name mentioned, +nor did she ever utter it.</p> + +<p>After the London season was over, Lord and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>Lady Hurdly had moved +from their town-house to the family seat, Kingdon Hall. Here, after a +day’s stop, Lord Hurdly had left her, to return to town on some +public business; and so, for the first time since her marriage, she +had a few days to herself. Later they were to have the house filled +with guests, and after that to make some visits; so this time of +solitude was not likely to be repeated soon. Bettina was surprised at +herself to see how eagerly she clutched at it. It was, in some faint +degree, like the feeling which she had had after the rare and short +separations from her mother—a longing to get back to the familiar +and the accustomed. She now felt somewhat the same longing to get +back to herself. She had done her part in all that brilliant pageant +like a woman in a dream. She had enjoyed it, for power and admiration +were very dear to her, and she had revelled in their fresh +first-fruits. But she had not been herself for so long, had not for +so long looked herself in the face and searched her own heart, that +she did not know herself much more familiarly than she knew the other +brilliant personages who moved beside her across the crowded stage of +London life.</p> + +<p>It was unaccountable even to herself how she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>rejoiced at the idea of +these few days of quiet and solitude. Nora, her old nurse, was of +course with her still, with a French maid to assist her and perform +the important functions of the toilet of which the elderly woman was +ignorant. This maid Bettina sent off on a holiday, so that she might +have only Nora about her.</p> + +<p>The morning after her arrival at Kingdon, Bettina, having breakfasted +in her room, went for a ramble over the house. It seemed solemnly +vast and empty, and she would have lost herself many times had she +not encountered now and then a courtesying house-maid or an +obsequious footman, who answered her inquiries and told her into what +apartments she had strayed.</p> + +<p>“Show me the way to the picture-gallery,” she said to one of these, +“and then tell the housekeeper to come to me there presently.”</p> + +<p>She had taken a fancy to this white-haired old woman the night +before, when Lord Hurdly had presented the servants to their new +mistress in the great hall, where they had all been assembled to +receive her on her arrival.</p> + +<p>In a few moments she found herself alone in the stately gallery, +going from picture to picture. On one side was a long line of the +ladies of Kingdon Hall, painted by contemporary artists, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>each +celebrated in his era. At the end of this line her own portrait, done +by a celebrated French painter who had come to London for the +purpose, had recently been put in place.</p> + +<p>It was a magnificent thing in its manner as well as in its subject, +and the costume which Lord Hurdly’s taste had conceived for her and a +French milliner had carried out was a marvel of rich effects. As she +paused in front of it her lips parted, and she said, whispering to +herself,</p> + +<p>“Lady Hurdly—the present Lady Hurdly! And what has become of +Bettina?”</p> + +<p>As she asked herself this question she sighed.</p> + +<p>A sudden instinct made her move away. She wanted to escape from Lady +Hurdly. She had a chance to be herself to-day, and she felt a strong +desire to make the most of it.</p> + +<p>Hearing a sound at her side, she turned and found the serious, +pleasant face of the housekeeper near her.</p> + +<p>“Good-morning, my lady,” she said, gently, in answer to Bettina’s +friendly salutation. “Will your ladyship not have a shawl? This room +is always cool, no matter what the weather is.”</p> + +<p>Bettina declined the wrap, but passed on to the next picture, +requesting the woman to come with her and act as cicerone.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p><p>“What is your name? I ought to know it,” she said.</p> + +<p>“Parlett, your ladyship.”</p> + +<p>“And how long have you lived here, Parlett?”</p> + +<p>“Over forty years, my lady. I was here in the old lord’s time. That +is his picture, with his lady next to him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina looked with interest at the two pictures designated.</p> + +<p>“He is thought to be very much like his present lordship,” said the +housekeeper.</p> + +<p>“Yes, I see it,” said Bettina, feeling an instinct to guard her +countenance. Here were the same keen eyes, the same resolute jaw, the +same thin lips and hard lines about the mouth. Only in the older face +they were yet more accentuated, and instead of the not unbecoming +thinness of hair which showed in the son, there was a frank expanse +of bald head which made his features all the harder.</p> + +<p>Hurrying away from the contemplation of this portrait, Bettina turned +to its companion. Here she encountered a face and form which were +truly all womanly, if by womanliness is meant abject submission and +self-effacement. The poor little lady looked patiently hopeless, and +her deprecating air seemed the last in the world calculated <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>to hold +its own against such a lord. That she had not done so—of her own +full surrender of herself, in mind and soul and body—the picture +seemed a plain representation.</p> + +<p>“Poor woman! She looks as if she had suffered,” said Bettina.</p> + +<p>“Oh yes, my lady,” Parlett answered, as if divided between the +inclination to talk and the duty to be silent.</p> + +<p>“She was unhappy, then?” said Bettina. “You need not hesitate to +answer. His lordship has told me what a trusted servant of the family +you are, and I shall treat you as such. You need not fear to speak to +me quite freely.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, my lady, she had a great deal of sadness in her life,” went on +the housekeeper, thus encouraged. “She had six daughters before she +had a son, and this was naturally a disappointment to his lordship. +One after the other these children died, which grieved her ladyship +sorely, for she was a very devoted mother. His lordship had never +noticed them much, being angry at not having an heir, and this made +my lady all the fonder of them. She had little constitution herself, +and the children were sickly. At last, however, an heir was born, but +her ladyship died at his birth. It seemed a pity, my lady, did it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span>not? For his lordship was greatly pleased with the heir, and, of +course, my lady would have been much happier after that.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not answer. The evident reasonableness of the father’s +position, in the eyes of this good and gentle woman, made it +impossible for her to speak without dissent to such an atrocity as +Lord Hurdly’s attitude seemed to her. So she moved away, and the +woman took the hint and said no more.</p> + +<p>A little distance off, at the end of the long room, she had caught +sight of an object that made her heart beat suddenly. She did no more +than glance at it, and then returned to the contemplation of the +picture before which she was standing. But she had recognized Horace +Spotswood in the tall stripling of perhaps fifteen who stood in +riding-clothes at the side of a pawing gray horse.</p> + +<p>By the time she had made her way to it, in its regular succession, +she had quite recovered her calmness and had made up her mind as to +her course.</p> + +<p>“And who is this handsome boy?” she said, with perfect +self-possession, as they stood before the large canvas.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo3" id="Illo3"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 483px;"> +<img src="images/i066.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="483" height="400" alt="“‘AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?’”</span> +</div> + +<p>“That is Mr. Horace, my lady,” said the woman, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>a sudden tone of emotion mingling with the deference in her voice as +her eyes dwelt on the picture fondly.</p> + +<p>And who could wonder at this? Surely a more winsome lad had never +been seen. He was even then tall, and in his riding coat and breeches +looked strangely slender, in contrast to the broad-shouldered +physique which she had lately known so well. But the eyes were just +the same—direct, frank, eager eyes, which looked straight at you and +seemed to make a demand upon you to be as open and frank in return.</p> + +<p>Had Bettina searched the world, she could not, as she knew, have +found a more significant contrast than the comparison of the honest +eyes with the guarded, cold, inscrutable ones into which it was now +her lot to look so often.</p> + +<p>“Have you known him a long time?” she asked, pleasantly, as the woman +remained silent.</p> + +<p>“Oh, since he was a little lad, my lady! We all love Mr. Horace here. +He is the handsomest and kindest young gentleman in the world, and +he’s that good to me that I couldn’t be fonder of my own son, not +forgetting the difference, my lady.”</p> + +<p>Bettina detected a tone of regretfulness in the woman’s voice, and +also, she thought, an effort <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>to conceal it. If there was a feeling +akin to this regret in her own heart, she also must conceal it. These +allusions to the handsome, enthusiastic young fellow to whom she had +promised herself in marriage had stirred her deeply. The idea of any +one, servant or equal, speaking in this way of the man who was her +husband, at any time in his life, gave her a nervous desire to laugh. +It was followed by an equally nervous impulse to cry.</p> + +<p>Walking ahead of the housekeeper, she gained a moment’s opportunity +for the recovery of her self-control, and she made good use of it.</p> + +<p>“Parlett,” she said, presently, “I do not want you to think that in +marrying Lord Hurdly I have done an injury to Mr. Spotswood.” In +spite of herself, her voice shook at the name.</p> + +<p>“Oh no, my lady—” began Parlett, but her mistress interrupted her, +saying, quickly:</p> + +<p>“Of course he always knew that his lordship might marry, and could +not have been unprepared for such a possibility; but in order that he +might feel no difference in his present position on that account, +Lord Hurdly has settled on him what is really a handsome fortune—not +only the income of it, but the principal also. I tell you this that +you may understand that he <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span>is none the worse off, so far as money +goes, through his cousin’s marriage to me.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, my lady. I understand, my lady. Thank you for telling me,” said +Parlett, somewhat nervously. “Of course every one knows that you have +done him no harm, my lady, and we knew, of course, that his lordship +would do the handsome thing by him.”</p> + +<p>Somehow these civil, reassuring words smote painfully upon Bettina’s +consciousness. When this woman spoke so confidently of Lord Hurdly’s +doing the handsome thing by his former heir, she felt it to be the +hollow tribute of a conventional loyalty, and the assurance that it +was understood that she herself had done him no harm grated on her +also. Now that she was quite alone and free to think things out, as +she had shrunk from doing heretofore, and as, in the rush of the +London season, she had been able to avoid doing, she felt a sense of +compunction toward Horace that seriously depressed her.</p> + +<p>Dismissing the housekeeper, she put on a shade-hat and went for a +ramble in the park. How beautiful it was! What shrubs, what trees, +what undulations of rich emerald turf! She could not in the least +feel that she had any right in it all. But how must a creature love +it who <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span>had looked upon its noble beauties from childhood up to +youth, and on to manhood, with the belief that it would some day be +his own! She could not stifle the feeling that she had wronged that +being if by her marriage she should be the means of depriving him of +such a fortune and position, and deep, deep down in her consciousness +she had a boding fear that, if all things hidden could be revealed, +it might be shown that in a keener sense than this she had also +wronged him.</p> + +<p>For marriage had been in many ways an illumination to Bettina. The +revelation of her own heart which it had given her was one which she +tried hard to shut her eyes to. Twice she had consented to the idea +of marrying without love. Once she had actually done this thing. Only +her own heart knew what had been the consequences to her. But of one +thing she had often felt glad. This was that she had not entered into +a loveless marriage with a man who had loved her as she had believed +Horace did at the time he had so ardently wooed her. From such a +wrong as that might she be delivered!</p> + +<p>As her thoughts now dwelt on Horace and the circumstances of their +brief past together, the memory of his honest, tender, self-forgetful +attitude <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>toward her recurred to her half wistfully, in contrast to +her recent experiences. Lord Hurdly’s manner toward her had, in +truth, changed from the very hour of their marriage. He no longer had +the air of a solicitous suitor, but took at once that of the assured +husband and master. It made her think what she had heard of his +father and of his poor little mother’s history. Not that she could +fancy herself becoming, under any circumstances, a Griselda; though +she could without difficulty imagine him in his father’s <i>rôle</i>.</p> + +<p>But what right had she, she asked herself, to expect to reap where +she had not sown? She had married for money and position, and she had +got them. What more had she expected?</p> + +<p>Nothing more, perhaps; but in one point she had been +disappointed—namely, in the power of these things to give her what +she longed for, and what she could define only under the indefinite +term happiness.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina’s talk with Parlett had set her mind to working very actively +in a direction in which she had not allowed it to stray before. The +thought of Horace always brought a sense of pain and spiritual +discomfort to her, which she instinctively desired to shake off; and +in the restless whirl of London life, which left her little time for +thought of any kind, she had not much difficulty in doing so.</p> + +<p>Now, however, she had nothing to do but to think and to become +acquainted with her new possessions, the latter occupation being a +strong stimulus to the former. There were many associations with +Horace at Kingdon Hall. It was extraordinary how many things that he +had told her in connection with this place came back to her. She was +constantly recognizing pictures or persons or names with which he had +made her familiar. The persons were, of course, the servants, +steward, tenants, and the like, for she had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>seen no others. Even in +walking about the lawn she had found his initials cut on trees, and +the very dogs which joined her when she would go out for her walks +had names on their collars that she knew. There was one, a +magnificent Great Dane, which bore Horace’s name there as well as his +own. This dog, Comrade, she had heard Horace speak of with a special +affection.</p> + +<p>True, Kingdon Hall had never been Horace’s home, but he had grown up +with the idea that it might be, and since coming to manhood had felt +wellnigh secure that it would be. All his life he had been in the +habit of making visits here, and the impression which he had left +behind him was almost surprising to Bettina.</p> + +<p>The place in which this impression was strongest was in the hearts of +the servants. Bettina, through Nora, had assured herself of this. The +devoted servant, who had the sole object in life of serving her +beloved mistress, had, by Bettina’s orders, informed herself on this +point, and all that she gathered in the servants’ hall she retailed +to Bettina in her room. Nora, like every one else, had been won by +Horace’s manner and appearance, but, of course, when her mistress had +drawn off from him, she had no idea of anything but acceptance of the +changed conditions. Still, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span>she was inwardly delighted when Bettina +explained to her how anxious she was to learn all that she could +about Mr. Horace, so that she might lose no opportunity of furthering +his interest with Lord Hurdly, and making up to him, as far as +possible, for having disappointed him in his worldly prospects by +marrying his cousin.</p> + +<p>That he could hold her accountable for any other wrong to him she did +not admit. At times the memory of his fresh and buoyant youth, in so +great contrast to the jaded maturity of his cousin, knocked at the +door of her heart, and the ardent expressions of his worshipping, +passionate love for her echoed there with a distinctness that amazed +her.</p> + +<p>Surely he had loved her—this she could not doubt. But if his love +had been so slight that a few months of absence had cooled it, and of +so poor a quality that a new caprice had taken its place so soon, she +was well rid of it. That this had been so the letter which Lord +Hurdly had shown her sufficiently attested, and she must guard +herself against the folly of sentimental regrets.</p> + +<p>It was not Horace that she regretted. It was only the ideal of the +love between man and woman which her brief intercourse with him had +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>held up to her. She had seen love in a different guise since +then—or what went by the name of love—and surely the contrast must +have had a deeper root than the mere difference between youth and +middle-age.</p> + +<p>It was not often that Bettina allowed herself to think of these +things. But now, in her solitude and idleness, visions would come of +the eager lover, strong as a young Narcissus, who represented love in +such a simple, wholesome guise—or at least so it had seemed to be. +Then she would shake off the image, and tell herself it was but +seeming, as the result had proved, and so she would accuse herself of +weakness and sentimentality. These thoughts were getting to be +inconvenient. They haunted her too persistently, and at last she +began to wish for the time to come when her days would again be too +crowded with engagements for her to indulge in such foolish +reflections.</p> + +<p>The truth was, deep down in Bettina’s heart there was a fear which +she could not wholly still in any waking hour. She could and did +refuse to recognize it, even in her own soul; but there it was, and +there it remained, to rise again and again, and almost stifle her +with the sinister possibility which it suggested.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p><p>This fear was based upon the clearer knowledge of Lord Hurdly’s +character which had come to her since marriage. She had found in him +an inexorable resolution to have what he wanted in life, which had +rendered him, more than once within her knowledge, unscrupulous as to +the means he used in the securing of his ends. This it was which had +planted in her mind the awful though remote possibility of his having +been, in some manner, insincere in his representations of Horace’s +nature and character.</p> + +<p>But then there was the letter from his friend which she had seen with +her own eyes, with the St. Petersburg mark, so familiar to her, on +the envelope, and which had been written by a person who could not +have known that she would ever see it. Surely that was enough to +settle all doubts as to the character and conduct of the man to whom +she had first pledged herself in marriage, and she had at least the +satisfaction of knowing that her present husband could be charged +with no such faults. His indifference to her sex was proverbial in +society, and that she alone, of all the women he had seen—so many of +whom had angled for him openly—had been able to do away with his +aversion to marriage was a tribute in which she could not help +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span>feeling a certain pride, the more so as she saw every day new proofs +of his fastidiousness, as well as his importance.</p> + +<p>So she stifled this dread suggestion and forced her thoughts into +other channels. This was to be more easily accomplished when her body +was actively employed; so she took long rides on horseback, attended +by a groom, or long walks in the park alone. In these walks Horace’s +big dog Comrade would often join her. The creature had taken a fancy +to her, which seemed, in some strange way, to comfort her.</p> + +<p>Besides these diversions, she had her large correspondence to dispose +of every day; for in her important position she had of course +established numberless points of contact with the world.</p> + +<p>So the time went by until Lord Hurdly’s return, and the day that +followed saw Kingdon Hall filled with guests. After that there were +few moments of reflection for its mistress, as the duty of doing the +honors of this great establishment demanded all her time.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina loved this power and importance. The drama of her present +life was like the unfolding, before her gaze, of a beautiful series +of pictures which she had conceived in her imagination, and which +some enchanter’s word had turned into reality. The crowded functions +of the London season had somewhat palled upon her, though she had not +quite owned it to herself; but here she was the centre of the system, +the light around which these lesser lights revolved, and she seemed, +under these conditions, to shine with an increased radiance. Her +manners, where they differed from those of the women about her, +seemed to gain rather than lose by the contrast, and her costumes +seemed to be endless in their variety as well as in their beauty. +Certainly she had an air of being born to the purple, and her +husband’s pride in her was undoubted, if unexpressed.</p> + +<p>Bettina was aware that this pride was his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>strongest feeling in +regard to her, and she was abundantly willing to have it so. If she +had found it difficult to fall in love with a youth who might have +disturbed the heart of Diana, she was not likely to have fallen in +love with the cool, cynical, narrow-chested, thin-haired man whom she +could yet feel a certain pride in owning as her husband, since his +appearance, no less than his name, was distinguished. She had always +had a theory that she would never love deeply any one besides her +mother, and her two experiences in the lottery of marriage, so +different as they were, convinced her that her knowledge of herself +had been correct. She was glad of it. The hot anguish which at times +even yet contracted her heart at the thought of her mother made her +hope devoutly that she would never love again. The joy of it could +not be worth the pain.</p> + +<p>When Lady Hurdly’s house-party broke up, she went with her husband on +a round of visits to other country-houses. This phase of society she +liked, and she threw herself into it with ardor. But toward the end +she wearied of these visits, as she had wearied of London, and was +glad to get back to Kingdon Hall. Instead of rest, however, she found +restlessness, and the disturbing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>thoughts which she had smothered +before came back with added force. It was a relief to her to think of +going abroad—Lord Hurdly having made plans for their spending some +months of the winter on the Continent.</p> + +<p>There was one instinctive fear connected with this plan—the +possibility that she might by some chance encounter Horace. She had +little fear that he would come to England. What would it matter if +she should meet him? He had never been anything to her, really—so +she assured herself—and she had certainly been, in reality, quite as +little to him. Yet she did unreasonably dread such a meeting with +him, and felt anxious to know where he was.</p> + +<p>Accordingly, one morning she asked Parlett, in a casual way, if she +ever heard from Mr. Horace.</p> + +<p>“Oh yes, my lady; he writes to me now and then,” replied the +housekeeper. Bettina had not expected to hear this; her only thought +was to draw out some information gained by hearsay.</p> + +<p>“He is at St. Petersburg?” she asked, indifferently.</p> + +<p>“No, my lady; at Simla,” was the unexpected answer. “He has been +there a good while. I had a pamphlet from him the other day. When <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>he +has not time to answer my letters, he often sends me a paper, or +something like that, to show me what he has been doing. I can’t +always understand them, but he knows I like to have them just because +he wrote them.”</p> + +<p>Bettina was unwilling to show her ignorance, so she did not say that +she had no knowledge that he ever wrote for publication, and when +Parlett went on to offer her the reading of the pamphlet she said, +with an indifferent kindness,</p> + +<p>“Yes, bring it to me, by all means. I am very glad that Mr. Horace +keeps up his intercourse with the old place, which of course may yet +be his. I shall take an interest in seeing what he writes.”</p> + +<p>She went on to speak of certain changes which she wished made in some +of the sleeping-apartments, and then dismissed her housekeeper with +something less than her usual graciousness of manner.</p> + +<p>Bettina felt a strong desire to be alone. These tidings of Horace, +slight as they were, had been disturbing to her. Indeed, as time went +on and her knowledge of Lord Hurdly increased, the fear that he might +have dealt insincerely with his cousin or with herself grew steadily. +She saw proofs every day of the ruthlessness with <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>which he +sacrificed men, and even what should have been principles, to gain +his ends. By the light of the same knowledge she realized how his +meeting with her had disturbed him in his customary calmness of +poise, and she argued from this fact how important it had been to him +to gain his object of making her his wife.</p> + +<p>In the midst of these reflections a house-maid tapped at her door, +with some folded papers on a tray.</p> + +<p>“If you please, my lady, Mrs. Parlett sends you these,” she said.</p> + +<p>She was a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked English girl, with a soft voice +and very pretty manner, and at present she was gently agitated by the +privilege of speaking to her lady, whom she, as well as all the rest +of the maids, regarded as a sort of cross between angel and goddess.</p> + +<p>Bettina thanked her with a kind smile which sent her away completely +happy; then, in the privacy of her own chamber, she opened the +papers. One was a diplomatic pamphlet on a public question in the +line of the writer’s professional work. The other was an article +which went very thoroughly into the question of the best means of +relieving the famine then raging in India.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p><p>It seemed to Bettina that she had vaguely heard that there was such a +famine, but she had not felt more than a kindly casual interest in it +as an unfortunate matter which she could not help. Now, however, as +she read the account which this paper gave, and the lines which it +followed in the effort to render help, her heart burned within her. +Here was a man who had no more power than herself to give money +help—far less, indeed, perhaps. Yet how he was spending his soul, +his strength, his time, his talent, his very heart-beats, on this +effort to go to the rescue of these perishing thousands! No one who +read the throbbing sentences of that paper could have a doubt of the +writer’s earnest desire to help, or of his ability to move the hearts +and wills of others to come to his aid. It wrought upon her +strangely.</p> + +<p>How much money could she lay her hands on? She had no idea, but she +would make it her business to find out. There was her own little +income, which she had taken no account of since her marriage, and +there was the money which Lord Hurdly had put to her credit in the +bank. She would get all she could and send it—anonymously, of +course—to the famine fund which she had casually heard mentioned. +But, oh, what a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span>pitiful offering it seemed compared with what this +man was giving with such lavish self-devotion! From the fervor of his +printed words, and his report of what had so far been accomplished, +she saw that the very passion of his heart was in it. Of his ardent +temperament, his quick sympathies, she had knowledge in her own +experience. Perhaps it had been these very traits of his which had +led him to the conduct which had separated them.</p> + +<p>At this thought, that faint suspicion that he had been misrepresented +to her rose in her heart again; but she choked it back. That would be +too awful. Besides the hideous self-accusations which would have +followed the admission of this doubt, there was another argument +against it which still had its powerful hold on her. She had grown +accustomed to her great position in the social world, and her inborn +instinct for power and admiration was deliciously gratified by the +brilliancy of her present circumstances. She found it very agreeable +to be Lady Hurdly, with all that that name and title implied, and she +did not, even in this moment of such unwonted emotion, lose sight of +that fact.</p> + +<p>Yet the reading of this little paper had stirred a feeling in +Bettina’s heart which she had not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span>felt for so long a time—a +yearning tenderness for some object outside herself: a longing that +her health and strength might avail for others bereft of these +blessings. It was akin to the emotion she had felt by her mother’s +dying bed, and as it swept over her she wept as she had not done +since she had knelt beside that sacred spot.</p> + +<p>Instinctively now she fell upon her knees. She tried to pray—but for +what? She could not compose a form of prayer or articulate a definite +wish. All she could do was to pray to God—the God in whom her mother +had trusted—to give her this thing, this unknown boon which He knew +her passionate need of.</p> + +<p>When she rose from her knees she put her hands to her head, and, +pressing her temples hard, looked about her, as if in search of some +object which might help her to the comprehension of her own mood. +Then, running her fingers inside the collar of her dress, she drew +out, by a slight chain, a small locket, which contained her mother’s +picture and a lock of her white hair. It was a sort of talisman whose +mere touch gave her a sense of comfort. She did not open it now, but +held it between her palms and pressed her cheek against it, standing +there alone, and presently she whispered:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p><p>“What is it, mother darling? What is it that you seem trying to say +to me? Oh, if you can ever speak to me, speak now, and I will listen +as I did not do when you were here beside me! There is something that +I ought to do, and I am not doing it. There is something I am doing +which distresses you. That is the feeling that I have. Oh, my +mother—my lovely, precious, good, good mother—if I had you here, +you would tell me what it is that I ought to do—and I would do it!”</p> + +<p>She ceased her half-inarticulate whispers, and stood intensely +still—almost, it seemed, as if she waited for an answer to them.</p> + +<p>But there came no answer save the still, small voice within her soul, +which had so often tried to speak before, and which even yet she +could not, would not listen to.</p> + +<p>This voice suggested to her with persistent iteration that she should +even now look strictly into the evidence which had so quickly +sufficed to convince her that the young and ardent lover who had +wooed her so passionately, and promised her such loyalty and faith +and devotion, had been false to his professions and his promises +alike.</p> + +<p>Suppose she should investigate; suppose she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span>should get proof that +she as well as he had been falsely dealt with, that he had been true +in every word and thought—what then? Could she endure to keep, after +that, the position of wife to the man who had so deceived and injured +two beings who had believed him? Assuredly she could not. What, then, +would be her alternative? To leave him and go back to the poor life +at home, which her mother’s presence had justified and glorified, but +which without that presence, and with the contrast of her present +position in her mind, would be too intolerable a thought to +contemplate.</p> + +<p>No, she had no sufficient reason to doubt the representations that +her husband had made to her. She would try to accept them more +implicitly for the future, and so fight against such disturbing +ideas. There were ample means of diversion within her reach. Her +sojourn abroad would soon begin, and she must fight against any +recurrence of her present mood of weakness.</p> + +<p>If she was to win this fight, however, there was one precaution which +she felt that she must take. This was to avoid the very name of +Horace Spotswood, and, as far as might be possible, every thought of +him as well.</p> + +<p>Her foreign travels began, and she then had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>the assurance that this +effort would not be difficult of accomplishment. There were a +thousand new issues for Bettina’s interest and feelings in her +constantly changing surroundings, and these were sufficiently +absorbing to do away with lately disturbing considerations. The world +had still its powerful charm for Bettina, and she was now seeing the +world in a very fascinating aspect.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">A</span>s Bettina had found the London season delightful, and yet had been +quite content to see it close, and as the same had been true of her +experience, both as hostess and as guest, at the country-house +parties which had followed the season, so it was also with her +foreign travels, although she found much to interest and delight her +in the various cities which she visited with Lord Hurdly. He was +received with distinction everywhere—a fact partly due to his +prominent position in Parliament, and partly to his social importance +and the acknowledged beauty of his wife.</p> + +<p>Bettina enjoyed it, certainly, and found it very helpful to her in +carrying out her resolve to banish the agitating thoughts which would +recur whenever she thought of Horace. She had managed to stop +thinking of him almost entirely, and to live only for the +satisfaction of each day as it passed.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p><p>After a while, however, she began to feel that there was a certain +flatness in the sort of pleasure which consisted so largely in being +an object of admiration, for she had not been able herself to feel +much enthusiasm for the people whom she met. She did not make friends +easily, perhaps because she did not greatly care to have friends. Her +mother’s delicate health had left her little time for other +companionships, even if she had desired them, and since the loss of +her mother her heart had seemed to close up, and her capacity for +caring for people, never very great, was lessening every day.</p> + +<p>Several times during her travels she had heard Horace spoken of. On +these occasions she had not betrayed the fact that she had any +knowledge of him, and so the talk about him had been quite +unrestrained. She had heard it said by one man that “he was turning +out a very earnest fellow”; by another that “his pamphlets were +making quite a stir”; and, again, that he “might do something worth +while in diplomacy if he’d let philanthropy alone.” Another man had +said that “all he needed was to marry money, and he’d have a great +career before him.”</p> + +<p>When Bettina returned from her travels these <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span>few remarks, overheard +at dinner-tables or in public places, seemed in some unaccountable +way to be the most important things she had secured out of her late +experiences. Certainly they were the most insistently recurring, and +the idea was forced upon her that the way in which men spoke of +Horace Spotswood was a strong contrast to the tone of the letter from +Lord Hurdly’s friend.</p> + +<p>All this was a source of distress to her. She would have preferred to +believe the letter, for such a belief would have rid her of the sting +of self-reproach; but, try as she might, she could not wholly get her +consent to it.</p> + +<p>On her way back to England she stopped in Paris to choose her +costumes for the coming season. It was a pleasure to her to try on +these beautiful things, which she bought without any thought of the +cost of them; but it was a pleasure which she had become accustomed +to, and so its keenness was gone. Besides this, she had nothing to +look forward to except the London season, and custom had also +detracted from the zest of that. She was in the attitude of always +looking beyond. Surely, with such a position and such a fortune as +she had attained to, there must be something to satisfy the vague +longing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span>within her which she called desire for happiness.</p> + +<p>It was decided that they were to stay at Kingdon Hall a short time +before going up to town, and Bettina had looked forward to the +freedom of the country life with a hopefulness which reality +disappointed. Here again she thought of Horace, and the possible +injustice she had done him forced its way into her consciousness, and +so disturbed her with doubts and misgivings that she determined to +overcome her reluctance to mention Horace’s name to her husband, and +ask boldly whether he had actually received the sum of money which +she had been promised that he should have. It had become so essential +to her to know about this that she determined to use her very first +opportunity of asking.</p> + +<p>Not ten minutes after she had made this resolution she unexpectedly +encountered Lord Hurdly, in crossing a hall. He had been out on +horseback, and still wore his riding-clothes. The correct and +carefully fitted leggings showed legs that were thin and shapeless. +Beneath them were small feet, on which their owner did not step very +firmly. The somewhat showy waistcoat and short coat had an air of +displaying themselves and concealing the form beneath <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>them, which +was perhaps a high tribute to his tailor’s art. His chest looked +narrower, his face more wrinkled, his hair thinner, than Bettina had +before noticed them to be, and there was a certain loose-jointedness +in his figure which, as he moved toward her on his narrow and closely +booted feet, gave him the sort of teetering motion of the elderly +beau. His face, neutral and cold as ever, showed the signs of age +less, yet Bettina felt that it masked the inadequacy of his soul as +distinctively as his clothes masked that of his body.</p> + +<p>As they came toward each other—this man and this woman, whose +marriage was supposed to be a union of two into one—the face of each +might, by an eye sensitive to the subtleties of human expression, +have been seen to harden slightly. Lord Hurdly took off his hat with +an automatic motion which might have prompted the thought that the +action arose from his ideal of himself rather than from any +association with the woman before him.</p> + +<p>“Excuse me for detaining you a moment,” said Bettina, “but I want to +know whether Horace Spotswood actually received the money which you +made over to him at the time of your marriage to me. I have heard +that he is leading a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>very active life, on lines where money will be +of great use to him. Naturally I am anxious to be sure of the fact +that he has suffered no injury, however indirectly, through me.”</p> + +<p>She had been able to control both her voice and expression +entirely—a fact on which she fervently congratulated herself.</p> + +<p>“You may feel quite at ease on that score, I assure you,” Lord Hurdly +answered, in his cold, incisive tones. “He received the money, and +has probably used it for the furtherance of these ridiculous and +sentimental schemes of his. This should give you the gratifying +assurance that he has been bettered, and not worsted, by reason of +his connection with you.”</p> + +<p>The tone in which he spoke was galling to Bettina, but she made no +answer, though no words which she could have spoken would have +conveyed a greater resentment of his speech than did her disdainful +silence. She made a motion to move away, but he deliberately placed +himself in front of her, saying, in the same hard tone:</p> + +<p>“It occurred to me, from time to time while we were abroad, that you +were rather eager in gleaning information about the person we have +been speaking of, and I want to tell you that what has been evident +to me may be evident to others. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>You may not care how the thing +looks, but as I do, perhaps you will be more careful in the future.”</p> + +<p>His use of the word “eager” in connection with her attitude in this +affair gave Bettina swift offence, and this feeling was heightened by +the suggestion that she had made herself liable to criticism on such +a subject.</p> + +<p>“You cannot, I think,” she answered, in a tone of proud resentment, +“be more careful than I am that I shall act with propriety as your +wife. Since there is so little besides the form to be complied with, +I see the greater necessity for punctiliousness in observing that. +The rebuke you have just given me is utterly unmerited, and I shall +therefore not change my manner of conducting myself in any +particular.”</p> + +<p>“Perhaps you will think better of that decision, and will oblige me +by not making yourself conspicuous by holding your breath to listen +whenever that person chances to be mentioned. You are not unlikely to +hear him alluded to during the coming season, as he has been making a +bid for popularity at his new post by taking up the matter of the +famine, and,” he added with a sneering smile, “relieving it with the +money I paid him.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p><p>The word cut into Bettina’s heart.</p> + +<p>“Paid him?” she said, scrutinizing him with a glance before which +even his hard eyes faltered. “Paid him for what?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, for keeping himself out of my way!”</p> + +<p>She felt that she had compelled him to this response, and that he +would have liked to put it more brutally. As it was, there lurked a +sting in it which provoked her to reply.</p> + +<p>“Did he hold the privilege of your proximity at so large a price?”</p> + +<p>A smile of quiet irony accompanied the words. As it curved her lips +alluringly, Lord Hurdly felt himself touched with the sudden sense of +her powerful charm. No one else on earth would have dared to say this +to him, or anything remotely comparable with it. There was something +very piquant to his jaded palate in the flavor of this audacious +speech. Instead of scowling, therefore, he smiled.</p> + +<p>“I have heard,” he said, amiably, “that America was the land of the +free and the home of the brave, and certainly you seem to warrant one +in accepting that belief.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, a good deal relieved at this turn of affairs, took the +opportunity that the moment gave her to say, gravely:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p><p>“No; I do not consider myself free. I have bound myself, in my +marriage to you, and I have no intention or desire to forget the +duties which I owe you. But I tell you frankly, Lord Hurdly, that I +am not accustomed to either surveillance or tyranny, and I shall not +tamely submit to them. In the carrying out of this resolution, at +least, you will find that I can be brave.”</p> + +<p>She looked more than ordinarily beautiful as she stood erect before +him and said these words, and he had not gazed so fully into her eyes +for a long time. He had almost forgotten their magnetic loveliness. +At sight of them now his pulses beat quicker. A desire for the +mastery of this splendid creature returned to him with a force he +would not have believed possible.</p> + +<p>“Bettina,” he said, in a voice which showed an emotion most unusual +to him, “have you ever known what it was to love, I wonder?”</p> + +<p>“Once—once only,” she answered, a quaver in her voice and a sudden +suffusion of tears in her eyes. “I loved my mother. No one that ever +lived could have loved more truly and more ardently than I loved her; +but there it began and ended. I never deceived you as to that. I +promised you duty and good faith, and I have <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>not failed in these. I +never shall so fail. But love, no! I haven’t it to give.”</p> + +<p>She made a movement to go forward, and he stood aside and let her +pass him. She avoided meeting his gaze, and perhaps it was well that +she did. For slowly its expression changed. A look of hardness that +was almost significant of dislike came into his eyes and compressed +his lips. From the day of their marriage this woman had thwarted and +baffled him. He had tried to get the mastery of her, but he had +failed, and the sense of that failure angered him. He had been used +to dominating every one with whom he came into any sort of close +contact. He had married this American girl with the determination to +dominate her, and he had found himself as powerless as if she had +been a mist maiden. There was no way in which he could lay hold upon +her.</p> + +<p>Concerning Bettina’s attitude toward him he had a theory. He believed +that she had really loved Horace. She was too absolutely in the +shadow of the sorrow of her mother’s death to give full play to any +other feeling, but he had always felt, in every effort that he had +made to win her, that it was the image of Horace Spotswood in her +mind which put him in total eclipse. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span>This theory time had deepened. +His suspicious watchfulness over her every word and look had made him +aware that she listened with interest when Horace’s name was +mentioned, and his imagination heightened the effect of her interest, +and caused him to conjecture as to what she might have heard and felt +at such times as he was not by. Moreover, a certain secret +consciousness in his own soul stimulated him in his suspicions.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">D</span>uring the early weeks of their marriage Lord Hurdly, while changing +his attitude from the solicitude of the pursuer to the masterfulness +of the possessor, had certainly made some effort to win Bettina, +while she, on her part, had tried to oblige him by responding to his +professions for her. Both were aware that this effort had been made +on both sides, and that it had quite failed. By the time the +honey-moon was over, Lord Hurdly had, to all appearance, ceased to +care. The consciousness of this was an immense relief to Bettina, and +she had felt ever since that in doing him credit in the eyes of the +world she would satisfy his first object in having her for a wife. In +this she had not failed. There was a distinct estrangement between +them, but it had never been necessary to define it. Whatever +disagreements there had been, only themselves were aware of. Lord +Hurdly would have felt his authority over her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>incomplete indeed if +he had ever had to assert it in public.</p> + +<p>As for Bettina, a singular change of feeling was going on within her. +She had made her test of the world, and found that she had overrated +its power to please. It was almost appalling to reflect that there +was no more for her to do than to repeat what she had already done. +Another London season, another autumn in receiving and making visits, +another winter abroad. What then? Was there nothing but material +pleasure for her in the world? She wanted something more, something +different from all this.</p> + +<p>One morning she went out into the park, where spring was just +beginning to put forth its greenery. Leaping footsteps sounded behind +her. It was Comrade, bounding to her side and nestling up against +her. She put her arm around his neck and drew him close. He responded +with an affectionateness that was almost human.</p> + +<p>Almost human! At this thought she began to ask herself how much human +affection there was for her in the world. As much, no doubt, she told +herself, as she had to bestow. But why was this?</p> + +<p>The birds were going wild with song in the branches above her head. +The grass, the trees, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span>the clouds, the sky, seemed all to have been +made to be part of a world for love to dwell in. A great hunger +possessed her—a hunger not to be loved, but to love. For the first +time she found herself longing for this boon, entirely apart from any +idea of her mother. Oh, to have some one with a human, comprehending, +ardent heart, to put her arms around as she was now clasping +Comrade—some one to whom to offer up the wealth of love which she +had once thought she could never give except to her dear mother; some +one who might make that mother’s words come true, that a love far +greater than any she had known might be in store for her; some one, +handsome, charming, ardent, loving, sympathetic, kind; some one to be +friend and brother and lover all in one; above all, some one with +thoughts and feelings akin to her own—some one impulsive and +natural—some one young!</p> + +<p>When at last she said good-bye to Comrade and returned to her rooms, +she felt in some strange way that a new era had dawned for her. But a +mood like this was new in her experience, and she fought resolutely +against its recurrence. As an aid to this end she threw herself more +eagerly into the external interests which were so great in such a +position as hers, and became more <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span>noted for her splendid +entertainments and rich dressing than she had been the season before. +As she got a deeper insight into the conditions of the life about +her, she saw opportunities for influence and power, even to a woman, +which attracted her. But she was very ignorant. She knew little of +the world and English affairs, and she found the women about her so +well informed on these subjects that she began to feel herself at a +certain disadvantage. This roused her pride, and she set to work to +inform herself on many subjects of which she had hitherto been +ignorant.</p> + +<p>One means to this end was the reading of newspapers, and this +occupation now absorbed a part of every morning. In this way she +occasionally came upon Horace Spotswood’s name, and when she did, a +strange agitation would possess her. She could not quite shake off an +influence which this man’s life seemed to exert upon hers. Lord +Hurdly would have had her believe that she had bestowed a great +benefit upon Horace, as it was through her that he was in the +possession of his present independent fortune, but there was no voice +so strong as the one in her own heart which told her that she had +wronged him. Here and there she had picked up the impressions of many +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>different people concerning this young diplomatist, and +unquestionably the aggregated effect was one of admiration. The brief +notices of him which she read in the papers confirmed this impression +of him. He was doing well, for a man of his years, in diplomacy, and +he was doing more than well in the work he had undertaken for the +relief of the famine-stricken population near him.</p> + +<p>It was Horace’s interest in this cause which had given rise to +Bettina’s interest in it, and she began to read eagerly all that she +could find on the subject. As a result her heart was, for the first +time in her life, awakened to an intense perception of the suffering +of the world at large. It was a new emotion to her, and one which +throbbed through all her consciousness with a power which changed her +individuality even to herself. She began to think for the first time +of the utter recklessness with which she had been spending the large +sums of money which Lord Hurdly placed at her disposal. Her +expenditure of these sums heretofore had met with his entire +approval, as she could never have too rich a wardrobe to please him. +It was all a part of his own glory and importance, and he never asked +a question as to how the money went.</p> + +<p>But now the tide within Bettina’s heart had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span>turned. As she read of +the sufferings of these starving people, the thought of her own +excess of luxuriousness sickened her. The more she felt within her +soul that nameless sadness which no outside help could relieve, the +more she felt it urgent upon her to relieve the wants of others when +this assuagement lay within her actual power.</p> + +<p>It may seem strange that, with a mother who had a large-hearted +sympathy with all sorrow, Bettina should have kept her own heart so +closed to the suffering outside it; but no seed can sprout until the +soil is prepared for it, and up to this period of her life the ground +of Bettina’s heart had been unprepared.</p> + +<p>Now, however, all was changed. She went to balls and dinners, as her +position as Lord Hurdly’s wife demanded, but her heart was elsewhere. +She began to economize strictly in her personal expenditure, and +collected all the ready money she could lay her hands on, both from +her husband’s allowance and from her own small private fortune, and +sent it anonymously to the Indian famine fund.</p> + +<p>This contribution was sent in with no other identification than “From +B.,” written on the card which accompanied it. How could Bettina +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>have dreamed that any living soul would connect her with it?</p> + +<p>She was not unaware, however, that she was constantly watched by her +husband. Since she had become interested in her new pursuits he +observed her more closely than ever, and on the morning of the +publication in the papers of the special additions to the famine fund +which contained her own subscription Lord Hurdly, with apparently no +reason at all, read the list aloud to her across the breakfast table.</p> + +<p>When he came to the item “From B.,” he paused and looked at her +searchingly.</p> + +<p>Bettina felt her face turn red.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo4" id="Illo4"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i107.jpg" class="jpg ispace" width="500" height="334" alt="“‘THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN’”</span> +</div> + +<p>“I thought so,” said her husband, with a strange mixture of +satisfaction and anger in his hard tones. “I have been expecting some +such foolery as this for some time, and I am not blinded to the +motive behind it. What do you care about those devils of Indian +savages? What does Horace Spotswood care about them? Just as little! +Enough, and too much, of my money has gone already to the prolonging +of their worthless lives. If that graceless cub chooses to go on +wasting money on them he can do it, but I take this occasion to +inform you, Lady Hurdly—and I’d advise you to remember what I +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>say—that I do not choose that any more of my money shall go in that +direction. Do you understand?”</p> + +<p>There was an insolence in his tone which he had never used to her +before. She resented it keenly. Rising to her feet, with an instinct +which forbade her to preside over the table at the other end of which +he was seated as master, she said, with a tinge of anger in her quiet +tones:</p> + +<p>“The money was partly my own—from my mother’s little fortune; and +she would have held, with me, that I could put it to no more holy +use. As to the rest, I understood that that also was my own. I did +not know that you required of me an account of how I used it.”</p> + +<p>“How you used it? You may light your fire with it, for all I care! +But there is one thing for which I do care, and which I mean to see +nipped in the bud; and that is this ridiculous sentimentality which +you are indulging in over Horace Spotswood. If you are regretting +your young lover, that is your own affair, but when you come to +flaunt this regret before the eyes of the public it becomes my +affair, and as such I propose to put a stop to it.”</p> + +<p>Bettina trembled with the rage of resentment <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>that possessed her. She +recollected herself enough, however, not to speak until she had +paused long enough to be sure that she could control herself. Then +she said:</p> + +<p>“You are forgetting yourself, Lord Hurdly, when you presume to speak +to me as you have just done. I have given you no occasion to do so, +and you know it. If there are certain regrets in my marriage to you, +your present conduct justifies them. But permit me to say, on my +side, that I can imagine no explanation of your behavior, except to +suppose that it proceeds from a consciousness in your own mind of +having wronged this man.”</p> + +<p>She was looking at him narrowly. His features did not flush, nor did +his cold eyes falter. And yet, in spite of the long habit of +guardedness which now stood him in such good stead, there was a +consciousness about him, like an atmosphere, which told her that her +thrust had drawn blood.</p> + +<p>“I thought so!” she said, using the very words which he had used to +her. “I have for a long time been struggling in my mind against a +doubt which sometimes would arise, that I might have been deceived. +Everywhere, in public and in private, that I hear that young man +spoken of, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>it is with words of confidence, admiration, and +affection.”</p> + +<p>Still her penetrating gaze was on him, and still he bore it without +flinching.</p> + +<p>“You saw the letter,” he said, with a sneer. “If that was not enough +for you—” He broke off with a harsh, unpleasant laugh.</p> + +<p>“It was enough,” she said. “Surely it has sufficed to fix my fate in +life. But it is possible that that letter gave an exaggerated +account. Still, if the half of it was so, I was more than justified +in cutting loose from him. No one could possibly blame me.”</p> + +<p>“No one does, so far as I can see,” was the malicious answer. “I hear +of no complaints from others, and certainly I have uttered none. You +make a very satisfactory Lady Hurdly, and I suppose you get enough +out of the position to repay you for anything you may have lost—at +least, from the world’s point of view, you should have done so.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not answer at once. A sickness of soul was creeping over +her that made all life look suddenly loathsome. The one feeble ray +that penetrated the darkness in which she felt herself enveloped was +the help that came from a certain ideal which she had recently +enthroned <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>in her own heart. As the world’s need, the wider issues +affecting the myriad lives beyond her own, had recently been brought +before her consciousness, she had felt her way, as simply and weakly +as a child might have done, to one plain principle of life—that it +was worth while to try to be good. Never had she felt so keenly as in +this minute the utter futility of hoping to be happy. Yet in this +minute she felt more than ever, also, that happiness was not all.</p> + +<p>It was only rarely that she had any personal talk with her husband. +The wall of separation between them seemed to be thickening by silent +accretion all the time. It was very difficult to scale this wall, and +she felt that any effort to do so irked him no less than it did her. +So, with an instinct not to let go the present opportunity, she said, +rather eagerly, as he was rising to go away:</p> + +<p>“Sit down a moment. We do not often speak together. I have something +on my mind to say to you.”</p> + +<p>He resumed his seat and lighted a cigar—an action which discouraged +her by its nonchalance. Still, she was determined to go on. By a +great effort she made her voice very gentle, as she said:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p><p>“I know I have disappointed you in what you had hoped from this +marriage between us, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. If I +have not been able to give you the feeling which you desired—”</p> + +<p>He interrupted her.</p> + +<p>“Feeling?” he said. “Who wants feeling nowadays in a wife? No one +expects it. I wanted some one to make a handsome figure as Lady +Hurdly. I expected that you would do that, and you have not +disappointed me.”</p> + +<p>“If this is true, I’m glad to know it,” she said; “but, at any rate, +you could not blame me for not giving you the love another woman +might have given you. I never deceived you as to that. I told you I +had not that love to give; not—as you have so unjustly +hinted—because I had given it to another man, but because I was then +incapable of love. I had no thought of any one beyond myself. I was +miserably ignorant and egoistic. It was in ignorance and egoism that +I took the position of your wife, but I think from the first that I +have tried, as I could, to fulfil its obligations. I have tried to be +and to appear what you would wish. And I am not unmindful of the +honor and distinction which my marriage to you has conferred upon +me.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p><p>“Gad! I should hope not! One of the biggest positions in England!” he +exclaimed, in a tone of scornful irritation. With these words he rose +and left the room.</p> + +<p>Bettina’s pride was deeply wounded. It had been that new assertion of +the control of duty which had led her to say these things to her +husband. She had conquered much in herself before speaking, and she +felt that she had a right to resent the almost brutal insensibility +with which he had received her words.</p> + +<p>As she turned from the breakfast-room and mounted to her own +apartments she felt conscious of a new humiliation in her life. Up to +this time she had believed that Lord Hurdly would have been incapable +of such speech as he had used to her that morning. She had done a +good deal—more than was required of her, she told herself—in +speaking to him as she had done after his words in the early part of +their conversation, and now it seemed plain to her that she had +fulfilled her whole duty toward him, and that if it had done no good, +the fault was on his side and not on hers.</p> + +<p>Once in her own rooms, she gave herself up to profoundly sorrowful +thoughts. She was only twenty-two. How long the path of her future +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span>life looked, and whither would it lead? She had attained all that +any woman could desire in the way of the world’s bestowment. She did +not underrate the value of this. On the contrary, it was as essential +to one part of her nature as something far different in the way of +human possibility was to another part. She did not lose her hold upon +the actual because she was striving after the unattained. All this +power and admiration was very important to her, though she felt the +insufficiency of mere worldly prosperity. “Pleasure to have it, none; +to lose it, pain,” were words that very nearly fitted her state of +mind. At the thought of going back to the obscurity she had come out +of she shrank.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">T</span>hat talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch in their relations +to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its +impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done +all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to +a true and amicable understanding with her husband, and, after it, +she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight +into Bettina’s nature which he had not had before. He found her to be +possessed of a power of caustic speech which, he was bound to +acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that he +had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy over her quite so +conclusively as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an +uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, +that it might be better for him to think twice in future before +crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition, and who +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>was quite unused to dealing with it in his own house. He was still +master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired +to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion +with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving +which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already +endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming +again into close quarters with Bettina.</p> + +<p>This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which +might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to +watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on +the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again +referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of +Horace Spotswood.</p> + +<p>Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and +held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up +against her which might one day be brought before her all at once.</p> + +<p>She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things +beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by +indulgence. When she looked about her in the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span>great throbbing life of +London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand +waiting for her interest and participation that she was soon caught +in the strong movement of woman’s work in social life in its wider +and deeper meaning.</p> + +<p>No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest +herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a +new and delightful consciousness to her that she might become part of +the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she +threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm.</p> + +<p>Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position +was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she +might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots +of those who were at the other extreme of life’s scale from her, +whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had +as little value at one end as at the other.</p> + +<p>Apart from these considerations of pure altruism was the sweet +thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that +she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another +thought would come. This was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>that, far apart as their lives must be, +she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and +perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each—namely, that the +record of the future might help to compensate for the mistakes and +wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately hoping that +he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to +throw hers.</p> + +<p>Under these changed conditions, Bettina’s second season in London was +unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some +unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated with the +“scorn for miserable aims that end with self,” and by the time that +she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so +informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure +which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its +opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal +supervision of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was +eager to enter into. She had awakened to the duty of looking after +the interests of tenants and the good of the parish.</p> + +<p>Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or +not she was unable to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical and +distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered, but +she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he +felt that her prominence in philanthropic activities, which had been +approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon +himself.</p> + +<p>For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the +man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic +to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most +people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and +breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening.</p> + +<p>She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her +visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation into the +needs of her husband’s tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, +and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to +leave for a few days’ hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he +said to her, at the moment of departure:</p> + +<p>“I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which +you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. +The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span>these matters to +their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now +so that I may see no signs of interference on my return.”</p> + +<p>It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he +was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of +haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this +way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no +intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on +his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his +gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent +upon his task, under frowning brows.</p> + +<p>His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her +were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of +disappointment. She did not often take a humble tone with him, but +there was humility as well as entreaty in her voice as she now said,</p> + +<p>“You won’t forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a +little better for them, if I can, will you?”</p> + +<p>“I forbid all interference,” he answered, in a tone that made her +feel that he relished the exercise <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span>of his power. “You can safely +leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently +well in my hands so far.”</p> + +<p>At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, +but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage +that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities were now less +insistent than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped +to be able to alleviate.</p> + +<p>“Oh, indeed you are mistaken!” she said, urgently. “You do not know +how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply +them with. Don’t refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to +my heart.”</p> + +<p>She saw his face grow harder.</p> + +<p>“It is also,” he said, “near my pocket. Going in for charity is all +very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere with your doing +so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to +stop it.”</p> + +<p>His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the +position of being entreated by her. She had an instinct to retort +sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was +a new sensation to her—a willingness to humble her pride that others +might be benefited.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p><p>“I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you +approved it,” she said, “and I will promise you to regulate my public +charities in future strictly in accordance with whatever limitations +you may set. But don’t refuse to let me work a little here—it will +not take much money—among the poor at our very doors.”</p> + +<p>Instead of softening him, as she had hoped that this attitude of +humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She +had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, +because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing.</p> + +<p>He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her +waiting. His gloves were now neatly fastened on his long thin hands, +and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded +to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do +so, as he would certainly have done at one time—as he would also, +undoubtedly, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. +Still, these signs of a diminished deference toward her touched her +lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer +to her question.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p><p>She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was +now puffing from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak.</p> + +<p>Always scrupulously careful in small things, he walked to the window +to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came +over her that he did not intend to answer her last words.</p> + +<p>Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart +rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several +days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to +contemplate. As he moved toward the door she said:</p> + +<p>“You have not answered me.”</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said, with chill politeness. “I answered you +in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants’ +affairs where they properly belong—with me.”</p> + +<p>So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went.</p> + +<p>Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from +the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an +arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she +ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat +her so?</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p><p>With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see +if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which +now seemed to be in her husband’s mind. With every desire to be +honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not +answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for +he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know +of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not +that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she +chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the +mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the +relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of +his meek little mother and masterful-looking father.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections +but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of +those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences, +seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of +all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits +and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were +before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been +killed in the hunting-field.</p> + +<p>Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of +her mother’s noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat +complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded +most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and +regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be +changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed +in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who +had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She +had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had +seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least +symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that +he was dead.</p> + +<p>How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their +last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him +at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had +known—</p> + +<p>Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they +found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet.</p> + +<p>“Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?” said +Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. “They was +that ’aughty to one another before people! But it’s them as feels the +most, sometimes.”</p> + +<p>This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a +response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue.</p> + +<p>It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress’s apartments, where +Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the +arrival <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>of Lord Hurdly’s body were being made. After her profound +emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was +the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness +of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now.</p> + +<p>How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things +seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new +conditions.</p> + +<p>Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be +done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to +do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the +rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was +with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility +of Horace’s arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get +away somewhere before he came.</p> + +<p>Those days when her husband’s body lay in the apartment near her, and +the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his +lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of +the real awakening of Bettina’s soul. The sense of freedom which her +position now secured to her, the power to do and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>be what she chose, +was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her +experience the woman and the hour were met.</p> + +<p>When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had +been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the +heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so +small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for +the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which +saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a +passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs +of others.</p> + +<p>She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life +should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her +vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These +would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have +money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of +the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her, +but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and +she had no misgivings on that score.</p> + +<p>At last the funeral was over and the house was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>rid of guests. +Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and +bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector’s aid, had managed to +get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course +of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute +unadjustment to her new situation.</p> + +<p>It had turned out that Lord Hurdly had left her an income of one +thousand pounds. Her first realization of the smallness of this +provision for her came from the rector’s comment, which was spoken in +a tone as if reluctantly censorious.</p> + +<p>“I should not have believed Lord Hurdly capable of such a thing,” he +said. “I am sure that all who have cared for his honorable reputation +must regret this as much on his account as on yours.”</p> + +<p>“Is it so little?” said Bettina, too proud to show disappointment. “A +thousand pounds a year seems a sufficient sum for the support of one +woman.”</p> + +<p>“For some women, perhaps,” was the answer, “but not for the woman who +has once held the position of mistress of Kingdon Hall. I repeat that +I would not have believed it of Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p><p>Bettina did not hear his last emphatic words, or, at all events, took +no conscious cognizance of them. She was absorbed in the +contemplation of her new condition. How strange it seemed!</p> + +<p>It was something more than strange. She had been too long in +possession of the power and importance of being the reigning Lady +Hurdly, so to speak, not to feel a real revolt at the idea of seeing +herself laid on the shelf. It would not necessarily be so bad if she +had had ample means, for she had made a place for herself in the +world. But she was certain, from the air of commiseration with which +not only the rector but others had regarded her, that she would be +extremely curtailed in such opportunities as depended upon money; and +she had sufficient insight into social affairs to know how the +possession of money broadened opportunity, and the absence of it +limited power.</p> + +<p>There was no denying to herself the pain that it gave her to +relinquish such a position. She had accommodated herself to greatness +so naturally that it seemed incredible that she was to sink back into +a life of obscurity. Frankly, she did not like it.</p> + +<p>And yet, on the other hand, she felt an unfeigned <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>gladness that +Horace was to come to his own. She rejoiced that no child of hers +would ever stand in his way. She had reason to hope that he would use +his great position to great ends, for the residuum of all her turbid +and agitating thoughts about him was an admiration for the man in his +attitude toward the world, no matter how much she still resented his +attitude toward herself. That this last was so, there needed no +stronger proof than her eager resolution to get away from Kingdon +Hall—out of the country, if possible—before the arrival of the man +whose place her husband had once taken, and who, in another sense, +was now to take his.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of +her life consequent upon her husband’s extremely small provision for +her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a +mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America, +in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it +would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for +good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little +joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the +best substitute that can be offered for joy—active and interesting +occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation +of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed +to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the +money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek +some work for the faculties <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span>which she had only lately realized that +she possessed.</p> + +<p>In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the +altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her. +She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a +more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling +her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have +had some intention of this sort.</p> + +<p>That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when +he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to +him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to +America to live.</p> + +<p>Under other conditions her husband’s wish would have greatly +influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. +She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was +not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight +implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of +loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her +best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his +wishes. These had often conflicted with her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span>own, but in such cases +she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been +treated with injustice.</p> + +<p>The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of +Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was +bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated +her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild +impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of +her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a +short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace +should arrive.</p> + +<p>One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him. +It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these +words: “Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably +detained here.—SPOTSWOOD.”</p> + +<p>This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to +her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. +Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away +as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the +conditions of his cousin’s will. Not one penny <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span>had been left him +except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly’s personal +fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace +was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and +noble title.</p> + +<p>The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected +Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others +had been signed “Hurdly.” Several of these she had seen. It seemed to +her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to +refrain from the use of her husband’s name in addressing her. He had +always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least +so it had seemed.</p> + +<p>The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more +confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She +felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this +telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to +do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word +that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her.</p> + +<p>When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious bow, Bettina +received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become +distinctly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>more haughty since her descent in the scale of social and +pecuniary importance.</p> + +<p>Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but +remained standing, with his hat in his hand, as he said:</p> + +<p>“A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. +Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a +letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person +upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the +fulfilment of that trust.”</p> + +<p>Bettina looked at him in amazement.</p> + +<p>“There must be some mistake,” she said. “I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam +Clarke. I have never even heard his name.”</p> + +<p>“That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant +for you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain +incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a +window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the +following sentences:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>“<span class="smcap">My Dear Lady Hurdly</span>,—Should this letter ever come to your +eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left +instructions that it <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>shall be delivered only in the event +of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have +passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can +be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding +which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was +impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of +human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one +wrong which came about through me will have been repaired +by me. I am aware that the rupture of your engagement of +marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a +letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting to come +from an altogether trustworthy source—a man who was on the +spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. +I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly +for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I +need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one +of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you +ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we +shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make +reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped +to inflict upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I +allude to the man who, when you read these words, will bear +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of +him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a +nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well +discredit any assurance which comes by means of me, and I +do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to +accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my +statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is +well known, and once your ears are open you will hear +enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I +have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a +power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of +my life.</p> + +<p>“That I may possibly by this letter do something, however +late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation on +leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life +I go an ineradicable resentment against the man who was +Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent and +admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read +this, will bear the noble name and title which his +predecessor, if the truth about him could be known, has so +soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most +indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man.</p> + +<p>“In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span>do of all the +world, such gentle judgment as Christian hearts may find it +in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of +weakness rather than malice, and who did the evil work of a +malicious man because he had not strength to brave what +that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in +punishment of the resistance of his will.</p> + +<p>“Your ladyship’s repentant and unhappy servant,</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 20em;">”<span class="smcap">Fitzwilliam Clarke.</span>”</span></p></div> + +<p>Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that +she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its +envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin’s +figure half hid by the heavy curtains.</p> + +<p>“Mr. Cortlin,” she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her +side, “I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of +the contents of this letter.”</p> + +<p>“I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered +to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told +me.”</p> + +<p>“Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?” +she asked next.</p> + +<p>“I had, my lady. He was in the confidence <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span>of his late lordship, who +intrusted to him many of his private affairs.”</p> + +<p>“The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?”</p> + +<p>“So I have understood, my lady. Formerly he was in the army, and I +have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even +heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord +Hurdly’s influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story +was hushed up, but he resigned.”</p> + +<p>Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening +confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was +too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting spell that +she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come +to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness.</p> + +<p>As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To +go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace +unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered. Yet to explain it +under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation of this +interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, +ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span>When Nora came she found +her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness.</p> + +<p>After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, Bettina +began to long to get away—quite, quite away into another +world—before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this +one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such +matters as required immediate attention and decision. She could not +refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to +herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see +what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She +had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there +was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the +mournful interest that attached to her mother’s grave.</p> + +<p>She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his +request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she +was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She +also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he +could make his plans to do so.</p> + +<p>The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. +There were numerous business <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span>matters which she had to be consulted +about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate +which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for +reform, and revived in her her ardent longing to have a hand in these +reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away +heart-sickened.</p> + +<p>There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly’s relations which had to +be received, an ordeal that would have tried Bettina sorely had it +not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation of +Horace Spotswood’s character, nature, actions, interests, habits, +etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had +never had one instant’s doubt of the truth of every word contained in +that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these +people and draw forth the manifestations of their delight at having +Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this +fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their +ardent appreciation of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal +dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors.</p> + +<p>Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left +alone to the mingled sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as +mistress of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span>Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished +as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she +was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with +them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be +borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing +forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held +in the great world.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina was writing in the library one morning when her attention was +arrested by the sound of an approaching footstep. The next moment a +servant announced,</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>At this name she started violently. So long accustomed to associate +it with one person, she forgot for the instant that another bore it +now. As she rose, startled and expectant, through the portière held +back by the servant there entered a man whose sharp dissimilarity to +the image in her mind made her catch her breath.</p> + +<p>The next second she knew that it was Horace, and realized that she +was trembling from head to foot. The breadth of the room was between +them, for he had paused just within the door, nodding to the servant +to withdraw.</p> + +<p>He stood there an instant in silence.</p> + +<p>Perhaps she was no more startled by the surprise which the sight of +him occasioned than <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span>was he at the sight of her; but the quality of +the surprise was different. It was her beauty, her so far more than +recollected beauty, which had arrested him and held him spellbound. +He had left her sick with grief about her mother, the color faded +from her cheeks, her eyes dulled with weeping. There had been, +moreover, in her expression an apathy which his ardent words had +failed to do away with. Besides these inherent things, the extrinsic +points were glaringly a contrast to the present ones. Then her +somewhat too slight figure had been dressed in gowns of village make +and fit, and her lovely hair had been carelessly wound up, without +regard to fashion or effect.</p> + +<p>Now he saw confronting him a woman whom nature had endowed with a +rare beauty, and for whom art had also done its best in the matter of +outward adornment. True, she was clad in plain unrelieved black from +head to foot, but no other costume could have so exquisitely +displayed her glowing loveliness of coloring or the pure correctness +of her outlines.</p> + +<p>During the few seconds in which they stood looking at each other she +had perceived also a great change in him. It was of a very different +character, but it made all the more a strong appeal <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span>to her, for he +was mysteriously aged. Not only had the Eastern sun turned to bronze +the once ruddy hues of his skin, but he had also lost flesh, and his +hair was getting streaks of gray in it. His figure, too, was sparer, +but it looked more powerful than ever; and still more apparent was +the added look of strength in the familiar and yet subtly altered +face.</p> + +<p>There was no pause long enough to be embarrassing before he spoke.</p> + +<p>“I hope you will excuse me,” he said (and, oh, the voice was altered +too, unless she had forgotten that rich, vibrating tone in it!), “for +coming upon you so suddenly. I know I should have given warning, but +I had what I think a sufficient reason for not doing so. I am hoping +earnestly that you will agree with me when you have heard it.”</p> + +<p>“Pray sit down,” said Bettina, speaking mechanically, and from the +mere instinct of observance of ordinary forms. She had no sooner +spoken than she remembered that it was his own house, of which she +was doing the honors to him. If he remembered it also, he gave no +sign, for he took the chair she indicated, with the conventional +“Thank you” of an ordinary visitor.</p> + +<p>Bettina also had sunk into her chair, and sat <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span>quite still, with her +white hands clasped together on the dense black of her dress. She +could not speak, yet she dreaded lest, in the silence, he might hear +the beating of her heart. Its soft thuds were plainly audible to her, +and all the blood from her cheeks seemed to have gone there.</p> + +<p>“In any event, I should have been obliged to come to England soon,” +said her companion, “but I should have put it off longer had I not +felt it important to come on your account.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s eyes expressed a questioning surprise.</p> + +<p>“On my account?” she said, vaguely.</p> + +<p>“Certainly,” was the prompt, decided answer. “The only responsibility +which comes near to me in my new and strange position is that of +protecting the honor and credit of the name I have assumed. These, +you will excuse me for saying, have been seriously, I may even say +shamefully, disregarded by the terms of the late Lord Hurdly’s will.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s eyes had still that vague and puzzled look. She had not the +least comprehension of what he meant. Could he be resenting the fact +that, so far as it was practicable for him to do so, his cousin had +disinherited him? But no, that was impossible. As she remained silent +and expectant, he went on:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p><p>“Since he chose to disregard the duty and dignity of his position, it +is for me, who must now bear his name, to repair that wrong so far as +it is in my power to do so. It is for that explicit purpose that I am +now come to speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Still Bettina looked perplexed.</p> + +<p>“I don’t understand exactly in what way the will has displeased you,” +she said. “There was a great deal of it that I hardly took in. But in +any case there is nothing for me to do. As you know, my services have +not been asked, and certainly there is no place for them. I have +nothing whatever to do with the executing of Lord Hurdly’s will. +Indeed, my plans are all made to return to America immediately.”</p> + +<p>“I cannot be surprised at your decision,” he said, with a certain +resentment in his voice which she did not understand. “Certainly it +would be natural for you to wish to shake off the dust of this land +from your feet. But wherever you may choose to live for the future, +it is my duty to see that you live as becomes the widow of Lord +Hurdly, and it is for this purpose that I have hastened to get here +before you should be gone.”</p> + +<p>All was now clear, and with the illumination which had come to her +from these words of his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>the color flooded her pale cheeks. Her first +sensation was of keenly wounded pride.</p> + +<p>“You might have spared yourself such haste,” she said. “If you had +taken the slight trouble to write to me, I could have saved you the +long and hurried journey. So far from wishing to have more money than +what I am legally entitled to, it is my purpose and decision to take +nothing. I have of my own enough to live upon in the simple way in +which I shall live for the future. Did you think so ill of me as to +suppose that I would wish to grasp at more than my husband saw fit to +leave me—or to take money at your hands?”</p> + +<p>It was her instinct of pride which had caused her to use the words +“my husband,” which another instinct at the same moment urged her to +repudiate. But pride was now the uppermost feeling of her heart, and +it supplied her with a sudden and sufficient strength for this hour’s +need.</p> + +<p>“This is in no sense a question between you and your late husband,” +said Horace. (Was there not in him also a certain hesitation at that +word, and did not the same feeling as in her compel him to its use?) +“Nor is it a question between you and me. The obviously simple issue +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span>is what propriety demands as to the manner in which the widow of +Lord Hurdly is provided for. It belongs to my own sense of the +dignity of my position that the late Lord Hurdly’s widow should be +situated as becomes her name and title, and I am determined to see +that this is done.”</p> + +<p>“Determined,” she said, a certain defiance in her quiet tone, “is not +the word for this case. You may determine as you choose, but what +will it avail if I determine not to touch a penny belonging to either +the late or the present Lord Hurdly? You are very careful of the +dignity of your position. I must also look to mine, which you seem +strangely to have forgotten.”</p> + +<p>His expression showed her plainly that these words of hers had cut +deep into his consciousness. A swift compunction seized her heart, +but her pride was still in the supremacy, and enabled her to stifle +the feeling.</p> + +<p>“I have not forgotten it,” he said. “It is because I have been +mindful of the dignity of your position that I have urged this thing +upon you. The conditions of the will need not be generally known if +you will accept the right and proper income, which I wish, above all +things, to see you have. Can you not believe me sincere in my desire +to remove the indignity put upon you by a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span>member of my family, and +the bearer before me of a name and position of which it has now +become my duty to maintain the credit? And can you not believe me +just enough and kind enough to wish to see this done for your sake as +well as for my own?”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s face continued proudly hard. If the gentleness of her +companion’s expression, the kindness of his manner, the delicate +respect of his tones, made any appeal to her woman’s heart, the +all-potency of her pride enabled her to conceal it. But the struggle +between the two feelings at war within her made a desperate demand +upon her strength. She felt that she would do well to put an end to +this interview as soon as practicable. With this purpose she said, +abruptly:</p> + +<p>“I am willing to do full justice to your motives, but they cannot +affect my action. My mind is quite made up. I shall return to America +at once, and there the credit of Lord Hurdly’s name will not suffer +any hurt, since I shall be practically out of the world. Certainly I +shall be forever removed from the world in which his life will be +spent. Do not think that I shall regret it. I shall not. My +experience of your world has shown me that the mere possession of +money, rank, position, influence, is powerless to bring <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span>happiness. I +thought once that if I should come to have these I could get pleasure +and satisfaction from them, but I was wrong. My nature inherently +loved importance and display, but I mistook the unessential for the +essential. If I had had all these external things, together with the +satisfaction of the inward needs, they might have made me happy. In +themselves I have proved them to be worthless.”</p> + +<p>She was compelled to say these words. The intimate knowledge of the +character of her husband which had come to her after marriage made +her long that Horace should know that had she really comprehended the +man as he perhaps had known him all the while, she never could have +become his wife. It was impossible for her to tell him this, but she +caught eagerly at her present opportunity of letting him know that +she had had no duty toward her late husband beyond the mere formal +obligation of her wifehood. She could not bear Horace to think that +she had loved him. Even now, under the softening influence that death +imparts, that thought was intolerable to her. This was quite aside +from his treatment of her in his will, which, indeed, was strangely +little to her. It was the memory of the crafty and common nature +under that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span>polished exterior that made her recoil from the thought +of him now.</p> + +<p>If this feeling was strengthened by the contrast of the personality +now present to her gaze, how could she be blamed? Surely the man who +stood before her might have seemed to answer any woman’s heart’s +desire as lover, companion, friend. How her conscience smote her for +the doubts she had once had of him! When she remembered whose +treachery it was that had created these doubts, there was hate in her +heart.</p> + +<p>She did not wish him to see the expression of this feeling in her +face, so she rose abruptly and turned from him. As if he understood +her, he rose also, and crossed the room to the desk at which she had +been seated on his entrance.</p> + +<p>Here were heaped papers and memoranda connected with the Kingdon Hall +estates. Evidently he recognized their character, for he said:</p> + +<p>“At least you have not refused to give me the help that I asked. I’ve +been talking to Kirke, and he tells me you have been taking an +interest in the affairs of the tenants. Thank you for this.”</p> + +<p>In an instant the bitterness in Bettina’s heart was changed into a +new and softer emotion. She saw the opportunity of effecting now what +she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span>had been so powerless to effect in the past. Forgetting +everything else, she came quickly to his side and took up one of the +papers. This was in her own handwriting, and was a memorandum of some +length. She held it away from him a moment, her face flushing, and a +look of hesitation showing on it.</p> + +<p>“I never intended that you should see this,” she said. “I began it +long ago, and had to put it by; but recently I have taken it up +again, without really knowing why, except that all my whole heart was +in it.”</p> + +<p>“What is it?” he asked. “I beg you to let me see it.”</p> + +<p>“No,” she said. “It is not my affair, and I must remember that. It +concerns some most deplorable facts which I have discovered +concerning the management of the Kingdon Hall estates, but—”</p> + +<p>“Then it is my affair,” he interrupted her; “and since you know what +these abuses are, and have looked into them, you surely will not +deprive me of the help that you could give. I ask it as a favor.”</p> + +<p>Still Bettina hesitated, but he could see that she was longing to +comply. He could imagine, also, what it was that held her back.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p><p>“Not as a favor to me,” he hastened to add; “I appeal to you in the +name of these poor tenants, who have been so long neglected and +abused. This is no new thing to me. I have seen it going on from the +time I was a boy here, and I can truly say that almost the only +pleasure that I have looked forward to in succeeding to the estates +has been the righting of these wrongs. Surely you will not refuse to +help me to do this.”</p> + +<p>For answer, Bettina turned upon him a pair of ardent eyes that swam +with tears.</p> + +<p>“Oh, are you really going to do this blessed, glorious thing?” she +said. She had forgotten herself for the moment, and was thinking only +of them—the wretched beings whose wrongs had so long oppressed her, +and who, it seemed, were to have justice and care and kindness at +last. “You don’t know how hideous the condition of these poor +creatures is, and how impossible it has been for me to do anything in +the past. To think there is some one who will let me tell about it at +last and give the help that is so needed! But you can do nothing with +such a steward as Kirke. His heart is as cold as ice.”</p> + +<p>“Kirke shall go at once. I have long believed that he was unworthy of +the position he holds. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>If you will give me the benefit of your +investigation and insight into the situation you will save me much +trouble, and you can also feel that these poor people will be that +much nearer to having their distress relieved.”</p> + +<p>At these prompt, determined words her heart swelled, and again tears +brimmed her eyes.</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank God that you will help them!” she said. “Now that I am +sure of that, I can go away contented. It would have broken my heart +to leave them so—yet I had not dared to hope that I could do +anything. You have no idea of the extent of it. It will take a great +deal of money to give them new houses, proper sanitary conditions, +and all the things they need.”</p> + +<p>“Never mind that—only tell me what to do.”</p> + +<p>“But <i>can</i> you do it? I know how comparatively limited you are as to +money.”</p> + +<p>“Comparatively only,” he said, reassuringly. “I have much less than +my predecessor had, but fortunately I have little pride and simple +tastes. I can let the place in Leicestershire, where the hunting is +good, and I can also lease the town house if necessary. Pray consider +that the question of money is disposed of. I assure you that does not +enter into it.”</p> + +<p>Thus invited, Bettina sat down before the desk, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span>while he took a seat +near by, and with the papers before her she went fully into the +questions at issue, showing a grasp of the situation which soon +testified to her companion that she had studied it to some purpose. +All the changes which she recommended were approved, but more than +once his attention was diverted from the purpose of the future to an +indignant contempt for the delinquencies of the past. It was hard for +him to constrain himself to silence as to this, but Bettina thanked +him in her heart for the successful effort which he made. She was too +abject in her sense of compunction for her own past to feel inclined +to severe judgment of another, and in her joy that these cherished +plans of hers were to be immediately realized she was able to put by +for the moment more personal trouble. She spoke with a fervor that +made her beautiful face wellnigh adorable in its kind compassion, and +when she would describe the wrongs and hardships of these poor simple +folk her eyes at times would fill with tears of pity and her voice +would tremble.</p> + +<p>She knew it not, but in this hour she was making a new revelation of +herself to Horace, which answered to the need of his maturer nature +as marvellously as the Bettina of old had satisfied the needs of the +ardent young fellow that he was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span>then. If he remembered that Bettina +only as being beautiful and beloved, he saw in this one a far nobler +and more perfect beauty, as he recognized in her qualities more +worthy to command love.</p> + +<p>Here they were alone together, in a mood of extraordinary openness +and sincerity, for they were thinking the same thoughts of +helpfulness to others, and there was not an atom of the embarrassment +of their personal relationship to come between them now. It was not +singular, therefore, that he, for his part, should have longed to +speak to her, heart to heart, of that mysterious thing which had +divided them, and to tell her that, in spite of all—in spite of +facts that had been flaunted before his eyes in society, in the +public prints, and everywhere—he had never quite succeeded in +stilling a small voice in his soul which had continued to declare +that the young girl to whom he had so passionately given his love was +less fickle and unfaithful than these facts had shown her to be. Now, +more than ever, this insistent voice repeated itself. How he longed +to ask her the simple question! But then came common-sense, and +demanded, What question? Was there any question which he could ask +her to which the fact and conditions <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span>of her marriage to Lord Hurdly +were not a final answer?</p> + +<p>As for Bettina, she had also her longings to take advantage of that +interview, when they were speaking together in such friendly +converse, by telling him of the letter of confession which she had +received, but pride here took the place of common-sense, and bade her +to be silent.</p> + +<p>They had gone over all the papers together now. There was no longer +any excuse for lingering. He had given and repeated his assurances +that all these abuses which she so lamented should be remedied, and +she had thanked him again and again. Both felt that the time to part +had come. And yet both felt an impulse to postpone it. It was her +consciousness of this feeling which now made Bettina act. There was +an influence from his very presence which alarmed her.</p> + +<p>“I must go now,” she said, her voice a shade unsteady.</p> + +<p>“No, it is I who am going,” was the answer. “I return at once to +London, as I have neither the right nor the desire to intrude upon +your privacy. I wish to say, however, that I do not accept your +decision as to your future income. I beg you to give my wish, my +earnest request, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span>your consideration. I shall write to you. Perhaps I +can put the case more clearly so. At all events, I shall try.”</p> + +<p>Bettina shook her head.</p> + +<p>“You will simply waste your time,” she said. “Nothing can change me +from my purpose of going at once to America, with no income but my +own little inheritance, and taking up my old life there.”</p> + +<p>The word inheritance had suggested to both of them the thought of her +mother. They saw the consciousness in each other’s eyes.</p> + +<p>“How can you take up your old life there,” he said, “when the +presence which made its interest, its very atmosphere, is gone? It is +enough to kill you—and you will not have money to live elsewhere.”</p> + +<p>The keen solicitude in voice and eyes could not be mistaken. It was +evident that he cared for what she might suffer—what might +ultimately become of her. The thought was rapture to her starved and +lonely heart.</p> + +<p>“I must bear it,” she said, trying to control her voice as well as +her face. “Life will be no harder to me there than elsewhere.”</p> + +<p>“You are wrong. In no other spot on earth will the loss of your +mother so oppress you. I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>know what that has been to you, by my +consciousness of what that possession was. And remember one thing, +which gives me some right to speak to you as I am doing now—I loved +your mother and she also loved me.”</p> + +<p>At these words and the tones that accompanied them Bettina’s strength +gave way. She dropped back in the seat from which she had risen, and, +hiding her face in her hands, burst into tears.</p> + +<p>She could not see the effect of her weeping on the man, who still +stood motionless and erect before her. She did not know that the +tears sprang into his eyes also, and that the whispered utterance of +her name was on his lips.</p> + +<p>He heard it, however, though she did not, and the knowledge that he +had lost control of himself made him turn away and walk to the other +end of the room.</p> + +<p>When he had stood there a few seconds, with his back turned, he heard +her voice, somewhat shaken, though with the accent of recovered +self-possession, saying, in a tone of summons,</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly—”</p> + +<p>An inward revolt sprung up at being so addressed by her. The name had +only sinister associations for him in any case, but to hear it <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>from +Bettina’s lips filled him with a sort of rage.</p> + +<p>“Lord Hurdly,” she said again, and this time her voice had gained in +steadiness, until it sounded mechanical and hard.</p> + +<p>“I wish to express to you,” she said, when he had drawn a little +nearer, “my thanks for your kind intentions concerning me. I can only +repeat, however, that my decision is quite fixed, and that I shall +carry out the plans I have made known to you. Do not urge me further. +Do not write to me. It will be useless. Let me go back to the life +from which you never should have taken me. You were mistaken in me +from the first, and I have been nothing but a trouble and a +hinderance to you. I am sorry. I ask you to forget it all if you can. +But, above all things, I ask, if you would really help me and serve +me in the one way in which I can be helped by you, that you will +consider that the present moment closes our intercourse in every way, +and will show me the respect, little as I deserve it, of proving to +me that in this one instance, at least, you believe me capable of +acting with rectitude and dignity, and of meaning what I say.”</p> + +<p>He did not answer her. He only stood profoundly still and looked at +her. That gaze, the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>searching, scrutinizing power of it, made her +afraid. Trembling with terror of what she might reveal in answer to +it, she turned suddenly and vanished through a door behind her, +leaving him standing there, and with a consciousness that his keen +eyes were on her yet, reading what she so ardently desired to +conceal.</p> + +<p>Once in her own room, she locked the door, and then ran swiftly to +the window, which gave her a view of the terrace below.</p> + +<p>There she saw waiting a hired trap, with its driver drowsing in the +sunlight. As she looked, she saw the man from whom she had just +parted come rather slowly down the steps and get into the shabby +conveyance. His hat-brim hid the upper part of his face, but she saw +the stern set of his jaw, the bronzed pallor of his cheeks.</p> + +<p>She watched the little trap until it had disappeared behind some +great oaks, which were one of the glories of Kingdon Hall. In a +strange way she had come to love this stately old place, and it gave +her a pang to feel that she was about to look her last on it. This +feeling, however, was subordinated to another, which literally tore +her heart; this was that, by the use of every means of thought and +action within her power, she had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span>quite determined never to run the +risk of seeing this man again.</p> + +<p>She knew that her only safety lay in flight, and she set to work at +once to make her preparations to fly.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>n the days that followed, Bettina’s only resource was in bodily +activity. She wrote at once and took her passage on a steamer to sail +for America one week from the day of Horace’s visit. Then, with +Nora’s help, she set to work to do her packing. The French maid was +sent away, and her lady refused all other offers of service.</p> + +<p>Her first impulse had been to leave all her wardrobe and personal +belongings behind her, and this she would undoubtedly have done but +for the counteracting instinct to remove from any possibility of the +sight of the future occupant of these apartments any smallest +reminder of the late Lady Hurdly. No doubt another bearer of that +name would soon be installed in them, and to her the least reminder +of the beautiful Bettina who had once so strangely come to it would +naturally be offensive.</p> + +<p>With this thought in her mind, she eagerly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span>helped Nora to collect +and pack away every trace of her ever having lived here. One record +of the fact it was out of her power to remove, and this was the +full-length portrait of her, in all the state and magnificence of her +proud position, which hung in the picture-gallery, and which Horace +had never seen. Neither had he ever seen her in such a guise, and, in +spite of her, there was a certain exultation in her breast when she +imagined the moment of his first beholding it. Another moment, +equally charged with mingled pride and pain, was the anticipation of +the time when the next bearer of the name and title should come to +have her portrait hung there. No Lady Hurdly who had come before +could bear the comparison with her, and she knew it. Was it not, +therefore, reasonable to believe that those who followed her might +suffer as much by the contrast?</p> + +<p>But these feelings of satisfaction in the consciousness of her +appropriateness to such a setting as Kingdon Hall were only +momentary, and many of those busy hours of work were interspersed +with lonely fits of weeping, when even Nora was excluded from her +mistress’s room. The good creature, who had never been burdened with +mentality, went steadily on with her work <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span>and asked no questions; +yet it was not unknown to her that Bettina’s unhappiness depended not +altogether upon the fact of her recent widowhood, or even upon the +disastrous consequences of it in her future life.</p> + +<p>Two or three times Nora had brought to her mistress letters in a +handwriting which she had not forgotten, and although she made no +sign of suspicion, she did connect these letters with Bettina’s +unhappiness.</p> + +<p>Certainly it was no wonder that such letters as she received from +Horace now should have so desperately sad an influence on her. In +them he begged, argued, pleaded with her to grant him this one +request, even using her mother’s name to touch and change her. +Indeed, there was a tone in these letters that she could scarcely +understand. Keenly conscious as she was of the injustice of which she +had been guilty toward him, it seemed incredible that he could so +ignore it as to manifest any personal interest in her on her own +account. She even felt a certain regret that he could so lose sight +of this flagrant fact. It had come to be a vital need to her to have +the ideal of Horace in her life. It was now almost more essential to +her to have something to admire than something to love. Under these +conditions <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span>she felt a certain sense of disappointment in him, that +he could seem to forget the deep wrong she had done him. And yet, in +utter contradiction to this feeling, his kind ignoring of it soothed +her tortured heart.</p> + +<p>She sent no answer to these letters. She even hoped that by taking +this course she might make the impression on him that she did not +read them. This was her design and her consolation, even while she +read and re-read them with a devouring eagerness. She never paused to +ask herself why this was. She avoided any investigation into her +feeling for Horace. It was enough that, in spite of all the +self-accusation and self-abasement which she carried in her heart, +this being who knew the very worst of her could still think her +worthy of kindness and respect. When she thought of this she felt as +if she could go on her knees to him.</p> + +<p>One fear was constantly before her mind, and that was that he might +seek a personal interview with her again. She dared not trust herself +to this, instinctively as she longed for it. It was, therefore, with +positive terror in her breast that she heard one morning from Nora +that Lord Hurdly was in the house, having come down by train from +London.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p><p>“I cannot see him—I will not!” she cried, in an impassioned protest, +which only Nora could have seen her portray.</p> + +<p>“He did not ask to see you,” said Nora. “I met him in the hall, and +he told me to say to you that he required some papers which were in +the library, and that he would, with your permission, like the use of +the room for a few hours. He told me to say that he had had luncheon, +and would not disturb you in any way.”</p> + +<p>At these words Bettina felt a sinking of the heart, which was her +first consciousness of the sudden hope she had been entertaining. +This made her reproach herself angrily for such weakness and want of +pride, and with this feeling in her heart, she said, abruptly,</p> + +<p>“There is no answer to Lord Hurdly’s message.”</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” said Nora, hesitatingly, “but I am quite sure he +is expecting an answer.”</p> + +<p>“I say there is no answer,” Bettina repeated, with a sudden +sternness. “Lord Hurdly is in his own house. He can come and go as he +chooses. His asking permission of me is a mere farce.”</p> + +<p>Nora ventured to say no more, and withdrew in silence, leaving her +mistress alone with the consciousness that Horace was in the very +house <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span>with her, and that at any moment she might, if she chose, go +to him and tell him all the truth.</p> + +<p>And why did she not? That old feeling between them was quite dead. +She had a right to clear herself from a condemnation which she did +not deserve—a right, at least, to make known the palliating +circumstances in the case. In any other conceivable instance she +would not have hesitated to do so. What was it, then, which made it +so impossible in this instance?</p> + +<p>The answer to this question leaped up in her heart, and so struggled +for recognition that she had an instinct to run away from herself +that she might not have to face it. She wanted to close her eyes, so +that she might shut out the truth that was before her mental vision, +and to put her hands over her ears, that she might not hear the voice +that clamored to her heart.</p> + +<p>Surely a part of this feeling was the compunction which she felt for +having wronged him. That she might openly acknowledge. But that was +not all. She was aware of something more in her own heart. Even that +she might have stifled, and, supported by her pride, might have +concisely told him of the error under which she had acted. But there +was still another thing that entered in. This was a faint, delicious, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span>disturbing, unacknowledged to her own heart, suspicion about Horace +himself. He had said nothing to warrant her in the belief that his +anxiety about her future was anything more than the satisfaction of +his own self-respect, but her heart had said things which she +trembled to hear, and there was a certain evidence of her eyes. In +leaving her the other day—or rather at the moment of her hurried +leaving of him—he had looked at her strangely.</p> + +<p>That look had lingered in her consciousness, and without effort she +could recall it now. In doing so her cheeks flushed, her heart beat +quicker. She felt tempted to woo the sweet sensation, and by every +effort of imagination to quicken it into keener life, but the +seductiveness of this temptation terrified her.</p> + +<p>She started from her seat and looked about her. How long had she sat +there musing—dreaming dreams which every instinct of womanly pride +compelled her to renounce? She wondered if he had gone. Once more +came that mingled hope and fear that he might seek an interview with +her before leaving. The hope was stronger than ever, and for that +reason the fear was stronger too.</p> + +<p>A footstep in the hall arrested her attention, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span>and she stood +palpitating, with her hand upon her heart. It passed, leaving only +silence; but it had been a useful warning to her. Suppose, in her +present mood, Horace should make his way to her sitting-room and +knock for admittance. Would she—could she—send him away, with her +heart crying out for the relief of speech and confession to him as it +was doing now?</p> + +<p>With a hurried impulse she caught up a light wrap of dense black +material, and passed rapidly into the hall. Her impulse was to go out +of doors, to get away from the house until he should have left it; +but in order to do this from her apartments, she must pass by the +library, and this she feared to do. So she changed her purpose, and +stepping softly that no one might hear her, she entered the long +picture-gallery, and closed the door behind her with great care to +make no noise. Many of the blinds were closed, but down at the far +end where her picture hung there was some light, and with an +impulsive desire to look at this picture, with a view to the +impression that it might make on Horace when he should see it, she +glided noiselessly down the room toward it.</p> + +<p>The full-length portraits to right and left of her loomed vaguely +through the half-light. She <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span>glanced at each one as she passed slowly +along, with the feeling that she was taking leave of them forever. In +this way her gaze had been diverted from the direction of her own +portrait, and she was within a few yards of it when, looking straight +ahead of her, she saw between the picture and herself the figure of a +man.</p> + +<p>He stood as still as any canvas on the wall, and gazed upward to the +face before him. Bettina, as startled as if she had seen a ghost in +this dim-lighted room, stood equally still behind him, her hand over +her parted lips, as if to stifle back the cry that rose.</p> + +<p>And still he stood and gazed and gazed, while she, as if petrified, +stood there behind him, for moments that seemed to her endless.</p> + +<p>Presently she saw his shoulders raised by the inhalation of a +deep-drawn breath, which escaped him in an audible sigh. The sound +recalled her. Turning with a wild instinct of escape, she fled down +the long room, her black cape streaming behind her, and vanished in +the shadows out of which she had emerged.</p> + +<p>Somehow, she never knew how, she let herself out into the hall, and +thence she sped through the long corridor, down the stairs, past the +open door of the vacant library, and out into the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span>grounds. She met +no one, and when at last she paused in the dense shadows of some +thick shrubbery, she had the satisfaction of feeling that she had +been unobserved. Here, too, she was quite secluded, and in the effort +to collect herself she sat down on the grass, her knees drawn up, her +forehead resting on them, her clasped hands strained about them.</p> + +<p>How long she remained so, while her leaping heart grew gradually +calmer, she did not know.</p> + +<p>A sound aroused her from her lethargy. It was the clear whistle of +some one calling a dog. She knew who it was before a voice said,</p> + +<p>“Here, Comrade—come to me, sir.”</p> + +<p>The voice was not far off, but the shrubbery was between it and her. +She would have felt safe but for the dog. She did not move a muscle.</p> + +<p>The footsteps were drawing near her, and now bounding leaps of a dog +could be heard also. Both passed, and she began to breathe more +freely, when what she had dreaded came. The dog, stopping his +gambols, began to sniff about him. The next moment he had bounded +through the shrubbery and was yelping gleefully at her side.</p> + +<p>Instantly she sprang to her feet and stood there, slight and tall and +straight in her long black <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span>wrap, the image of pallid woe. All the +blood had left her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified.</p> + +<p>It was so that she appeared to the man who, parting the branches of +the thick foliage, stood silent and surprised before her. She might +have been the very spirit of widowhood, so desolate she looked.</p> + +<p>Raising his hat automatically, he said, in a strained, unnatural +voice, “Can I do anything for you?”</p> + +<p>She tried to speak, but speech eluded her.</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said, “but can I do anything for you, Lady +Hurdly?”</p> + +<p>Oh, that name! She had had an instinct to free herself at last from +the burden she had borne, and to tell him, in answer to his question, +that he could do this for her—he could hear her tell of the wretched +treachery by which she had been led to do him such a wrong, and of +the misery of its consequences in her life. But the utterance of that +name recalled her to herself. It reminded her not only who she was, +but also who and by what means he was also.</p> + +<p><a name="Illo5" id="Illo5"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 328px;"> +<img src="images/i176.jpg" class="jpg ispace" width="328" height="500" alt="“THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD”</span> +</div> + +<p>“Leave me,” she said, throwing out her hand with a repellent gesture. +“I have gone through much, and I am not strong. If you have any +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span>mercy, any kindness, leave me to myself. It is not proper, perhaps, +that I should ask any favor of you, but I do. I beg you not to speak +or write to me again until I have done what must be done here, and +gone away from this place and this country forever.”</p> + +<p>There was an instant’s silence, during which Comrade nestled close to +her and tried to lick her hand, all the time looking longingly at +Horace. Then a voice, constrained and low, said, sadly: “I will grant +your favor, Lady Hurdly. What of the favor I have asked of you?”</p> + +<p>“I cannot. It is impossible,” she cried. “Surely I have been +humiliated enough without that. It is the one thing you have in your +power to do for me, never to mention that subject again.”</p> + +<p>“I shall obey you,” he said; “but in return I ask that you will not +forget my request of you, though you have forced me to silence. While +a wrong so gross as that goes unrepaired I can never rest. Remember +this, and that you have it in your power to relieve me of this +burden. Now I will go.”</p> + +<p>He turned and vanished through the shrubbery, Comrade after him.</p> + +<p>Bettina sank upon the ground, covering her face with the long drapery +of her cape. Suddenly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span>she felt a touch. Her heart leaped, and she +uncovered her head, showing the light of a great hope in her eyes.</p> + +<p>But it was only Comrade, nestling close to her, with human-eyed +compassion. She threw her arms around him, and pressed her face +against his shaggy side.</p> + +<p>“Did he send you to me, Comrade,” she whispered, “because he knew +that I was miserable and alone?”</p> + +<p>The gentle creature whined and wagged his tail as if in desperate +effort to reply.</p> + +<p>“I know he did! I know he did!” she cried. “Oh, how kind and good and +unrevengeful he is! And I can never tell him the truth. I can never +tell that to any human being, Comrade, but I’ll tell it to you.” She +drew his head close to her lips and whispered a few words in his ear.</p> + +<p>Then she sprang to her feet, a great light in her eyes, as she threw +her arms upward with an exultant movement, and cried, as if to some +unseen witness up above, “I have said it!”</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">A</span>fter this Bettina went about her preparations for departure with a +spirit of calm and collectedness which came from the knowledge of +herself, which she had at last fully accepted. Hundreds of times in +these last few days her mother’s words had come back to her: “The day +will come when you will know what you are incapable even of imagining +now—what is the one perfect love and complete union that can ever be +between two human beings.... Test the world, if you will—and your +nature demands that you shall test it—but you will live to say one +day: ‘My mother knew. My mother’s words have come true.’”</p> + +<p>It was even so. She knew now, at last, and the knowledge had come to +her when inexorable necessity compelled her to separate herself +forever from the man who, not suddenly, but by a system of gradual +evolution—from the crude emotions of her girlhood through the +growing <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>consciousness of later years—had now manifested himself to +her as all her heart could desire, all her spirit could crave, all +her mature womanhood could need. She realized that he had long been +this to her, but with a thick veil between herself and him which had +hid the truth from her. The reading of the letter given her by Mr. +Cortlin had torn that veil apart, and she saw him as he was, the man +of her ideal. She did not, at the same moment, see her own heart as +it was. This vision had come to her with her renewed intercourse with +Horace, who had appeared before her now the ripe product of the noble +possibilities which she had vaguely perceived in him once, when she +had cared too little to think deeply of him in any way.</p> + +<p>Oh, to have kept the place she had once had at his dear side! To have +shared with him the privations of a life that would have been narrow +and obscure indeed compared with the one which she had known in its +stead, but, oh, how rich in the way she had now come to count riches!</p> + +<p>Thoughts like these she had to fight against. Perhaps in the end they +would conquer, and would hunt her to the death; but now, until she +could get out of the country, she must put them down.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p><p>She had only a few days left, and she determined to devote a part of +these to some farewell visits among the tenants. As far as she had +been able to do, she had made friends with these poor folk, and had +given what she could to relieve their necessities; but, in comparison +with what was needed, the money at her command had seemed pitifully +small.</p> + +<p>When Lady Hurdly, dressed in her deep widow’s mourning, descended the +steps of her stately residence and entered the waiting carriage, +whose black-liveried servants saluted her respectfully, she had a +consciousness that servants and tenants alike must feel a certain +commiseration for the great lady, such as they had known her, now +sunk to poverty as well as obscurity. This feeling made her manner a +little colder and prouder then usual as she sat alone in the sunshine +of a lovely autumn morning and was driven between the beautiful +English hedgerows and through the fertile fields which she had +learned to love. How soon would all be changed for her! And changed +to what? The isolated exile of a place filled with the haunting +memories of the past—her mother, whom she had lost forever, and her +young lover, who was as absolutely lost to her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span>Strangely to herself, it was the latter that she felt to be the +keener pain. To the former she was reconciled; as we do, sooner or +later, reconcile ourselves to the inevitable; but the supreme sting +of this other grief was that she felt it need not have been. Sitting +there in her carriage, the object of much eager attention, she felt +so desolate and wretched that it was with difficulty that she kept +back her tears.</p> + +<p>She dreaded the ordeal before her. She felt that she must take leave +of these people and say a word of kindness to them, since she was so +miserably unable to do more; but these visits were always depressing. +Since the tenants had discovered that they had a sympathetic listener +in her, they had luxuriated in the pouring out of their sorrows. Of +course they had not ventured to accuse her husband of being connected +with them, but the lesson was one that he who ran might read.</p> + +<p>So, when the carriage stopped at the door of the first cottage, she +had made up her mind that she could not stand much in the way of +these miserable confidences to-day, and would make her visits short.</p> + +<p>But when she entered the house she was conscious of a total change of +atmosphere. Every <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span>creature in the room gave proof of this, according +to his or her kind. The old woman who sat knitting by the hearth +looked up at her with a dim twinkle in the eyes that had heretofore +expressed nothing but a consciousness that things were bad and +getting worse; and the children, who, indeed, had taken little count +of the depression of their elders, now manifestly shared their relief +from it. It was their mother who, with a strange smile of hope on her +careworn face and a fervent clasping together of her work-worn hands, +made the explanation to the visitor.</p> + +<p>But this explanation, when it had been heard, was almost more of an +ordeal to Bettina than the one which she had feared. Certainly it +made a stronger demand upon her power of self-control. For the +key-note of it all was Horace. He had been here before her, and had +done, or promised to have done, all that she had so passionately +wished to do. His name was on their lips continually; even the little +children lisped it. It was “his lordship this” and “his lordship +that,” in a way that furnished a strange contrast to the studied +avoidance of the word under former conditions.</p> + +<p>Somehow, glad as she was, it was hard for Bettina to bear. In the +midst of the accounts <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>of what his lordship had done and said, and +how he was to right all their wrongs and make everybody happy, she +got up and took a hurried leave.</p> + +<p>What was the use of her staying here? What was a little sympathetic +feeling, more or less, to these wretchedly poor creatures? It was +their material needs that they wished satisfied, and a stronger hand +than hers was at work on these. And if—as seemed so plain, as she +could so well imagine from her own knowledge of him—he was able and +willing to give them the sympathy and interest as well as the +practical help they needed, where was any use for her? There was +none—nobody needed her, she told herself, desperately, and the +sooner she lost herself in the oblivion of America the better.</p> + +<p>Each cottage that she visited showed the same metamorphosis in its +inmates. A lame boy to whom she had once given a pair of crutches had +a new wheel-chair, and the crutches were thrown in a corner. A sick +child for whom she had bought some prepared food, which it had not +been able to take, had been sent off to a hospital for regular +treatment, and its poor mother was enjoying the first rest of many +years, with a consciousness that the child was better off than it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span>could possibly be with her. An old man who had been long bedridden, +and to whom she had sent some clean bedclothes, had been moved into +another room with complete new furnishings, while the occupant of +this room had been sent elsewhere, so that the distressing sense of +over-crowdedness for sick and well was entirely gone from the house.</p> + +<p>In almost every cottage that she visited she saw the same evidences. +How pitiful her own efforts seemed beside these! What was heart +compared with hand? What was sympathy compared with money? And was +she so sure that she gave even the sympathy? She felt in her breast +now no sense of pity for their suffering, no consciousness even of +rejoicing in their relief. The only feeling there—and it seemed to +fill her whole heart—was pity for her own numb, gnawing +wretchedness, for which there could be no relief.</p> + +<p>When the last hurried visit was ended, she drove home, completely +unnerved. Her black veil was lowered before her face, and though she +sat erect and composed to outward seeming, the tears rained down her +cheeks.</p> + +<p>Her remaining days at Kingdon Hall were spent in a state of such +listlessness and inertia that Nora began to fear that she was going +to be ill. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span>She urged her mistress to send for the doctor; but, for +answer, Bettina burst into tears, declaring that she was not ill, and +begging Nora to do everything for her that was necessary to get her +off on the steamer on which she had taken passage, as she felt unable +to do anything herself.</p> + +<p>How the intervening hours passed she never knew; but, as if taking +part in a dream, she went through them all, and at last found herself +settled in her state-room, with Nora to take care of her, and no one +to spy on her or notice what she did. Asking Nora, as piteously as a +child, to help her to undress, she went to bed, and from that bed she +did not rise until the ship had touched another shore, and the +breadth of the world lay between herself and Horace.</p> + +<p>How glad she would have been to lie there and sail on forever, freed +from her responsibility to the future, as she was from that to the +past!</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was when Bettina was a matter of three hours out at sea that Lord +Hurdly arrived at Kingdon Hall, and, on being admitted, ordered the +servant to say to Lady Hurdly that he wished to see her. His surprise +was great when the man informed him that Lady Hurdly had that day +sailed for America.</p> + +<p>Dismissing the servant, he went to the library and shut himself up +there alone. How strangely was this house altered to him in one +moment’s time! Just now he had felt a presence in it which had made +every atom of it significant. Now, how dead, empty, meaningless, it +had suddenly become!</p> + +<p>The effect of this change was almost startling to him, and for the +first time he had the courage to face himself and to demand of his +own soul an explanation.</p> + +<p>He was a man of a peculiarly uncomplex nature. When, on meeting +Bettina, he for the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span>first time fell deeply in love, he had looked +upon the matter as a finality, and he had never ceased so to regard +it. When she deserted him, without giving him a chance to speak, he +had, in the overwhelming bitterness of his heart, forsworn all women. +It had never occurred to him to put another in Bettina’s place. For a +long time a passionate resentment possessed him. When he knew that +Bettina had married his cousin, this resentment had had two objects +to feed upon instead of one; but at first the bitterness of his anger +against the being in whom he had supremely believed greatly +outweighed that against the being in whom he had never believed. Lord +Hurdly had never had it in his power to wound and anger him as +Bettina could. So, when he got transferred from St. Petersburg to +Simla, it was with the instinct of removing himself as far as +possible from Bettina. Of the other he scarcely thought.</p> + +<p>When, however, the first consternation of the sudden blow was over, +and he grew calm enough to be capable of anything like temperate +thought, he tried to imagine how this strange state of things had +come about.</p> + +<p>Obviously Bettina must have sought Lord Hurdly out, and it was almost +certain that she <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span>had done this with a view to mediating between him +and his offending heir. He recalled her having said, more than once, +that she intended to win him over, and he pictured to himself what +had probably transpired in the fulfilment of her plan. Lord Hurdly, +who was notoriously indifferent to women, saw in Bettina a new type, +and, as consequent events proved, became possessed of the wish to +have her for his wife. This being so, he had probably not scrupled as +to the means to this end. Gradually, from having held Bettina chiefly +guilty, Horace began to feel that it was quite possible that she had +been less so than the artful and determined man, who had undoubtedly +brought to bear on her all the wiles of which he was master.</p> + +<p>What the wiles were, how unscrupulously they were employed to effect +any end that he had in view, Horace was now more than ever aware.</p> + +<p>And every fresh revelation of them tended to soften him toward +Bettina. He was in the habit of trusting his instincts, and these had +as determinedly declared to him that his cousin was false. On his +return to England, after Lord Hurdly’s death, both of these instincts +had found ample confirmation. The more he looked into the affairs of +his predecessor, in his relations to his tenants, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span>his family, his +lawyers, and the world at large, the more did his mistrust and +condemnation of him deepen, while, as for Bettina, it took little +more than the impression of his first interview with her to restore +almost wholly his old belief in her truth and nobleness.</p> + +<p>On the basis of her having been deceived by Lord Hurdly about him, he +could forgive her her marriage. Where would her desolate heart have +turned for comfort? And he knew her nature well enough to realize +that what Lord Hurdly had to offer might have seemed likely to serve +her as a substitute for happiness. He knew, moreover, that Bettina +had never loved him in the sense in which he had loved her, and this +fact made his judgment gentler.</p> + +<p>As he stood there alone, in the great house, strangely empty now that +her rich presence was removed from it, he wished with all his heart +that he had gone to her, and forcing her to look at him with those +candid eyes of hers, had said: “Bettina, tell me the truth. Why did +you do it?” Oh, if he only had!</p> + +<p>Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might +have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of +such a speech, or she might have given him to understand <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span>that what +appeared true was really true—namely, that his cousin’s splendid +offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to +hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The +thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and +career quite apart from her.</p> + +<p>This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had +satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to +Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had +given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew—her own mother had +avowed it to him—that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the +same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart. +What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the +emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers +was breaking in its loneliness.</p> + +<p>But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his +eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory out +of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and +decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to +consider her, both heartless and false!</p> + +<p>Fortified by the bitter support of this conception <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span>of her, he left +the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the +complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed +swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long +picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish +portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what +feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before +that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might +ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that +he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the +gracious image and walked away.</p> + +<p>It was not long, however, before he found himself in Bettina’s own +apartments. These he remembered well, and in the main they were +unchanged. Yet what a subtle difference he felt in them! Here on this +great gloomy bed had that poor orphan girl slept, or else lain +wakeful in the dread consciousness which must have come to her when +once she realized the nature and character of the man to whom she had +given herself in marriage. Here in this stately mirror had she seen +herself arrayed in the splendid clothes which were the poor price for +which she had sold her birthright. He stood <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span>and looked at himself in +the mirror, with an uncanny feeling that behind his own image there +was that of the beautiful Bettina, whom once he had thought to +protect forever by his love and strength and tenderness, and who now, +with only a hired servant, was alone in the great shipful of +strangers, on her way to the loneliness of that empty little village +which her mother’s presence had once so adequately filled for her.</p> + +<p>He went to the wardrobe and opened the door, hoping to find some +trace of Bettina. But no; all was orderly and void. Then he passed on +to the dressing-table and opened the drawers, one by one. In the last +there lay a small hair-pin of fine bent wire. He had an impulse to +take it, but, with a muttered imprecation on his folly, he called to +aid his recent resolution, and hastily left the room.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">B</span>ettina had been in her old home a week—long enough to recuperate +from her journey and begin to take up her life, such as it was to be. +She would gladly have relaxed entirely and lain in bed to be waited +on and tended by Nora, had this been possible. But she had wearied of +the physical rest, which only made her mental restlessness the +greater, and she had an impulse to reach out her empty hands so that +somehow, somewhence they might be filled.</p> + +<p>The neighbors had called on her promptly, but she could not see them. +They reminded her too much of the mother she had lost. Mr. Spotswood +had also called, but he was a reminder of the other loss, now the +more poignant of the two. When she excused herself to him also he +wrote her a note—the conventional thing, and that merely. It seemed +strangely lacking in the solicitude and affection which she had a +right to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span>expect from her old friend and rector. Bettina was struck +with this, and instantly there flashed over her a reason for it. It +was only natural that he should feel a certain resentment of her +jilting of one of his cousins, even though she had done it in favor +of another and more important one. She remembered that the rector had +been extremely fond of Horace, and at this thought she had a sudden +desire to see him. So she wrote him a note and asked him to come.</p> + +<p>It was so long since she had talked with any one, and she was so +nervous after all her morbid imagining, that she was feeling utterly +unlike the old self-reliant, active-minded girl he remembered when +the rector entered the room. She also, on her part, was unprepared +for the feelings aroused by the sight of him; and when he came in, +his grave face and gentle manner so entirely unchanged, in contrast +to all the changes she had undergone, Bettina felt a sudden tendency +to tears. The thought of her mother also helped to weaken her, and +the thought of Horace was a still harder strain on her endurance.</p> + +<p>She saw a certain constraint in his manner first, as she had +perceived it in his note. She felt unaccountably hurt by it, and when +he took her hand a little coldly and inquired for her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>health, a rush +of feelings overwhelmed her and she burst into tears.</p> + +<p>In evident surprise, the visitor tried to soothe her as best he +could. Naturally supposing that this grief was in consequence of her +recent widowhood, he pressed her hand, and said, gently:</p> + +<p>“I trust you are not overtaxing yourself by seeing me, my child. If +you had preferred not to do so I should not have misunderstood. Your +bereavement is so recent that—”</p> + +<p>But Bettina, trying to silence her sobs, interrupted him.</p> + +<p>“Oh, forgive me, Mr. Spotswood,” she said. “I had not thought I +should break down like this. I have been perfectly calm. It is not +what you suppose. Oh, I feel so wretched, so lonely, so bewildered! I +would give the world if I could speak out my heart to one human +being.”</p> + +<p>The rector looked surprised, but visibly softened.</p> + +<p>“To whom may you speak if not to me, Bettina?” he said. “Surely, +whatever trouble is on your heart, you may count upon my sympathy.”</p> + +<p>Bettina did not speak. With her face hid in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span>her pocket-handkerchief +she shook her head, as if in dissent from the idea of his sympathy.</p> + +<p>Feeling rather helpless, he changed his tactics, in an honest +endeavor to get at the real cause of her trouble.</p> + +<p>“Naturally, my child,” he said, “the sight of me brings back the +thought of your beloved mother. Such a sorrow—”</p> + +<p>But again she interrupted him, this time by a silent gesture of the +hand. Then she said:</p> + +<p>“It is not that. I’ve got used to that ache, and although my heart +would not be my heart without it, that is a silent and accepted +sorrow now. Oh, Mr. Spotswood,” she said, impetuously, uncovering her +tear-stained face and looking at him with the helplessness of a +child, “you are a clergyman; you teach that God is love and +compassion and forgiveness; you have a kind heart! I know you have. +Perhaps if I could tell you all I have suffered, and how deeply I +have repented, you would be sorry for me, and not blame me as much as +I deserve to be blamed.”</p> + +<p>She was looking at him tentatively, as if to see how far she could +trust to the forbearance of which she felt she had now such need.</p> + +<p>The rector’s heart was deeply touched. This <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span>show of humility in the +high-spirited, self-willed girl that he remembered took him by +surprise.</p> + +<p>“It could never be my impulse to blame you, my dear child, and the +less so when I see how bitterly you are blaming yourself for this +unknown thing. If you will tell me about it, I will do all that may +be in my power to help you. At all events, you may count upon my +loving sympathy.”</p> + +<p>“Ah, if I only could! It would be much to me now. But you are +ignorant of what you are promising. In a certain way it concerns +yourself, or at least a member of your family.”</p> + +<p>She saw a slightly hardened look come into his face, but it quickly +gave way to a gentler one.</p> + +<p>“No matter what it is, if you have suffered and repented, the best +sympathy of my heart is yours.”</p> + +<p>“You will regard it as a confidence—a sacred confidence?” said +Bettina. “I could only tell you with that understanding. I know that +a clergyman is accustomed to keeping the secrets of his people, and I +could not say a word unless I were sure that this thing would rest +forever between you and me.”</p> + +<p><a name="Illo6" id="Illo6"></a></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 379px;"> +<img src="images/i199.jpg" class="ispace jpg" width="379" height="500" alt="“‘TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY’”" title="" /> +<span class="caption">“‘TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY’”</span> +</div> + +<p>Wishing to soothe her in every possible way, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span>the rector gave her his promise to keep sacred what she might tell +him; and thus reassured, poor Bettina opened her heart. The relief of +it was so exquisite and the experience was so rare, that she told it +all with the abandonment of a child at its mother’s knee, and with a +degree of self-accusation that might well have disarmed condemnation, +as indeed it did.</p> + +<p>Up to the time of her meeting with Horace in England, she kept back +nothing, describing with absolute truth her feelings as well as her +conduct. When she had reached that point, however, a sense of +instinctive reserve came to her, and a few brief sentences described +what had happened since.</p> + +<p>At the end of her recital she paused, looking eagerly into the +rector’s face, as if she both hoped and feared what he might say.</p> + +<p>“Truly, my child, it is a wretched story,” he began, as if a little +careful in the choosing of his words, “but the knowledge of it has +deepened instead of lessened my sympathy for you. Your fault has been +very great, but so is your sense of compunction; and as far as +suffering can expiate, surely you have done much to atone. My own +knowledge of the character of the late Lord Hurdly was such that I +cannot pretend to be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>greatly surprised at what you have told me +concerning him. I regret to say it, but justice must be done to the +living as well as to the dead. The present Lord Hurdly will prove, I +trust and believe, an honor to the name. My intercourse with him has +been comparatively limited, but no young man has ever inspired me +with a stronger sense of confidence. So much do I feel this that I +will confess to a strong desire that he should know upon what ground +you acted toward him as you did. I have given my word to you, +however, and perhaps it is as well. That poor man so lately gone to +his account has stains enough upon his memory without this added one. +And when I think of Horace—what he has suffered through the +treachery of his kinsman—I feel that it is perhaps kindest to him +also to leave this dark secret in the oblivion which buries it in our +two hearts.”</p> + +<p>Bettina seemed not to hear his last words.</p> + +<p>“He has suffered? You think he has suffered, and through me?”</p> + +<p>“Is it possible that you can doubt it?”</p> + +<p>“He gave no sign,” began Bettina, hesitatingly.</p> + +<p>“To you—certainly not. How could he?”</p> + +<p>“Did he to you?” she said, breathlessly.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span></p><p>The rector looked at her with a sort of sad scrutiny, and was silent +a moment. Then he said:</p> + +<p>“He wrote me one letter—the most brokenhearted expression of +suffering I have ever read. It was before your marriage, when he +still had some slight hope that you had mistaken your own feelings, +in the statement of them which you had made in your letter to him. +But then came the announcement of your marriage, since which time +your name has not been mentioned between us.”</p> + +<p>“Did you keep that letter?” she said.</p> + +<p>“I did.”</p> + +<p>“Will you let me see it?”</p> + +<p>“I am afraid I cannot properly do that.”</p> + +<p>“I beg that you will, Mr. Spotswood. You would be doing me a very +great favor, and for your cousin’s sake also I think I may venture to +ask it. I was told that he was ‘fickle and capricious, incapable of a +sustained affection,’ and much more in the same line. I should be +truly glad to know that this was false.”</p> + +<p>“I can give you my word for that.”</p> + +<p>“But you can give me also his word, if you will,” she said, +beseechingly. “Oh, my dear, dear friend, I too have suffered, and I +believe <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span>that what I have endured is the worst of pain, for it comes +from the knowledge of wrong to another. You cannot take away that +pain, but perhaps you can restore to me a lost ideal. I had come to +think that there was no such thing as love—real love—in the world; +to believe not only that the man who had professed it for me was +false in that profession, but that it really did not exist. Let me +see that letter. It is an impersonal thing to me now, but I feel that +it would strengthen me for all my future life. I am going to try to +be good; indeed I am,” she said, her lips trembling like a child’s. +“If I feel that that letter would help me, why may I not see it?”</p> + +<p>The rector hesitated visibly; then he said:</p> + +<p>“You shall see it, Bettina. I cannot feel that it will do any harm, +and it will be an act of justice, perhaps, to him as well as to you. +Whoever represented him to be lacking in depth of feeling has done +him a wrong indeed. I had no need to have this proved to me, but if +there be such a need in any breast, the reading of this letter must +do away with it.”</p> + +<p>In a few moments he rose to take leave, having promised to send the +letter to her.</p> + +<p>“Will you send it at once?” she asked. “May Nora go with you and +bring it back?”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span></p><p>In the stress of her feeling she forgot the impression that her +eagerness might make; but it had not been lost upon the rector, who +pondered all these things in his heart as he went homeward.</p> + +<p>When he had given the letter to Nora, and she had taken it to her +mistress, he wondered if he had done well. Bettina had not pretended +that she had really loved the man to whom she had first engaged +herself. The preoccupied interest and affection which she had given +him then were not misrepresented in her confession to the rector, and +she had been absolutely silent as to her subsequent and present +feeling toward him. All that she said, the whole burden of her song, +was that she had so wronged him in that past time; never once had she +hinted at the possibility of any renewal of relations between them.</p> + +<p>In spite of all this, the rector knew Bettina well, and he recognized +the fact that she was under the dominion of some larger and deeper +feeling than he had ever known her to have except her affection for +her mother. And had even that, he asked himself, so permeated her +whole being—mind, soul, and character—as this feeling in which he +now saw her so absorbed? He answered that it had not. It was, +therefore, taking a certain responsibility <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span>upon himself to show this +letter. But he was acting in the interest of truth and justice, and +he could not find it in his heart to regret what he had done.</p> + +<p>Temperate, judicious, deliberate as the rector was in all his mental +processes, he could not imagine that any result could come from the +course which he had taken, except some very remote one. Bettina had +shown plainly her determination never to divulge to Horace the +contents of Mr. Cortlin’s letter; he was under promise to keep the +secret also, so there was no ground upon which the intercourse +between them could be renewed. Besides this, Bettina was but recently +become a widow. The proprieties of the situation demanded absolute +seclusion for a year at least, and, in Mr. Spotswood’s consciousness, +propriety was supreme. He never took count of the fact that +conventions could be disregarded by any right-minded person, and to +this extent at least he conceived Bettina to be right-minded.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">T</span>he reading of that letter from Horace to the rector was a crisis in +Bettina’s life. Its effect upon her was singular. When she eagerly +took in those pages filled with such anguish as possesses the heart +but once or twice in a lifetime, the consciousness that it was she, +Bettina, who had created such a love in the heart of the man that +Horace Spotswood was to her now, so exhilarated her that she was +capable of but one feeling—exultation. To have had this love, though +now she had it not, seemed to glorify her life. To have caused him +such sorrow—how greatly he had cared! In spite of all there was +rapture in it!</p> + +<p>That mood was followed by one of intense regret—an excoriating +self-accusation that made her spirit writhe before her own bar of +justice. Then, by degrees, when there came a moment of comparative +calm, she forced herself to recognize the fact that it was the +Bettina of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span>the past who had been so loved, and that the man who had +so loved her was that youthful and impulsive Horace. Was not the +present Bettina, the slightingly treated widow of his cousin, a very +different being—as different as was the present Lord Hurdly from +that old and outgrown other self? Surely the change in both was +great—a change which she construed as absolutely to her own +disadvantage as it was to his advantage.</p> + +<p>Yet, in spite of this, that letter brought a strange strength to her +heart. Since it was now so plain that he had so truly, so +worshippingly loved her, she felt a summons to her soul to be her +highest possible, to overcome the slothful and the evil in her, and +live as it became the woman who had been so loved by such a man. +Above all, she longed to make her life avail for the good of others, +that she might make it a thank-offering for what she had received in +the knowledge that had come to her through that letter.</p> + +<p>For, after its perusal, she knew that never again could she entertain +the doubts which had so often filled her mind at the thought of the +complete silence in which Horace had accepted her rejection of him. +Sometimes she had fancied <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span>that it might have been a relief to him—a +way out of a difficult situation; but now forever in her heart she +could carry the proud consciousness that she had been as passionately +loved as she had been desperately regretted.</p> + +<p>It was a strange source, perhaps, from which to draw strength, but it +availed her now. With a sudden renewal of the energy of her youth she +began to look about her for work which she might do. Fortunately the +rector was ready with practical, immediate employment for heart and +hand, and pocket, too, alas! for now the fact was forced upon her +consciousness that she was poor. It would be as one of themselves, +only somewhat different in degree, that she must help these suffering +ones, and, in spite of being hampered by this limitation, there was a +certain sweetness in it. Her work among the poor had begun at Kingdon +Hall, and there she had been often baffled by the sense of the +difference between herself and those whom she wished to help. She +knew that this consciousness was in their hearts as well as in hers, +and that it made an impalpable but positive barrier. But now and here +all was different. She longed for the money that would have enabled +her to do so much more, and yet she felt it, somehow, sweet to be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span>as +they. Her consciousness of her own past wrong-doing had so penetrated +her soul with humility that she was like a totally different being.</p> + +<p>She had said nothing to the rector of her determination not to touch +the money that her late husband had left her, but she strictly +adhered to this resolve. It was impossible. She simply felt she could +not. She found no difficulty in forgiving him for all that he had +done. She was too tender-hearted to bear malice toward the dead, but +she could not touch his money. Since she had once thought about +it—receiving food and clothes and comforts from his hands—she had +realized that it was an impossibility. She knew that the money was +deposited in bank for her, but there it might remain. She had told +Horace that she would not touch it, and he should see that she would +keep her word.</p> + +<p>Then came a thought that made her smile. He had wished to force upon +her the acceptance of a larger sum, because it was not proper that +Lord Hurdly’s widow should live otherwise than in pomp and +circumstance. If he could see her now! This it was that made her +smile.</p> + +<p>She had shut up all the house except the rooms on the first floor, in +which she and Nora lived alone. She kept no other servant, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>this +economy it was that enabled her to give to others. She had almost no +personal wants, and the income which had sufficed for her mother and +herself was more than enough for her alone. A little sting of injured +pride there had been at first, when her poverty became apparent to +the neighbors, who naturally expected her to enlarge rather than +curtail her expenses; but she soon got the better of this. The issues +of her life were in a wider field than mere neighborhood comment, +and, besides this, her friends and associates were now chosen chiefly +from the class who were too ignorant for such comment and +speculation.</p> + +<p>For Bettina had thrown herself with a passionate fervor into the work +which her hands had found to do. The one assuagement for the pain in +her own heart seemed to be the alleviation of the pain in other +hearts. She felt, also, a sense of thankfulness for the knowledge +which had come to her through the rector, which made the whole work +and service of her life seem all too little for her to give in return +for this boon. As for Horace, her feeling for him was akin to +worship. It was he who represented to her henceforth the ideal which, +like a fixed star, should give light to her path, though so +immeasurably far above her.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span></p><p>What a strange life was this into which she had now entered! She felt +the certainty that her courage would be sufficient for it, but with +all her resolution she could not always keep back the bitter tears of +her wordless, hopeless, uncontrollable longing. At times this was a +thing so mighty that she had the feeling that, if her body were only +as strong as her spirit, she would be able to swim through those +thousands of watery miles that separated them, only to tell him the +truth, and then lay down her life at his feet.</p> + +<hr class="large" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII</h2> + +<p class="n"><span style="float:left;font-size:40px;line-height:25px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:1px;">I</span>t was one of Bettina’s weary days. Its hours had lagged and dragged +until the evening had come, and she had sunk down, exhausted and +depressed, in a big old-fashioned chair in front of her wood fire, +which seemed the only ray of cheerfulness within or without. She had +had these feelings before, and she knew that they would probably +pass, but never before had it been so borne in upon her that life was +sad and wretched alike for those whom she was trying to help and for +her who was so in need of help herself—little as they dreamed it. +Were they worth helping, those poor evil-environed creatures who so +continually disappointed her hopes and efforts? Was she worth +helping, either—weak, aimless creature that she was—who had vowed +to be content in the mere consciousness that Horace lived, and that +he had once supremely loved her, and then again and again had fallen +into this hopeless discontent <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span>which thirsted so for what she had +pledged herself to give up—the possession of that love to satisfy +the present hour’s need?</p> + +<p>She lay back in the big deep chair, her white hands loosely grasping +its arms, and her white lids lowered. Now and then a tear would +trickle from beneath those lids and a slight contraction of pain +would move her lips. Any one looking in upon her so might well have +wondered where were the friends and companions of this beautiful, +lonely woman, shut into this small room, in the silence of a twilight +that hung damp and gray outside, and that the smouldering fire +lighted but fitfully within, while the low murmur of flames fitfully +broke the silence.</p> + +<p>Not a sound escaped her lips. She gazed longingly, sadly into the +glowing heart of the fire, and saw visions and dreamed dreams, but +not pleasing ones; they only served to make her sadness deeper.</p> + +<p>Presently the door opened, and Nora came in with the lamp. Glancing +at her mistress, who did not move, the woman then went out and +brought a small tea-service on a tray.</p> + +<p>“Don’t light the kettle yet, Nora,” said a low voice from the depths +of the chair. The speaker did not move; her manner was that of a +person <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span>who deprecated the least noise or intrusion, and Nora took +the hint and silently put down the tray. Then, in the same dull tone, +her mistress said:</p> + +<p>“I know you want to go to church. Go. I can make tea for myself when +I want it.”</p> + +<p>Nora, in comprehending silence, left the room.</p> + +<p>Still the relaxed figure in the chair moved not. The fire whiffed and +crackled now and then, but beyond this there was no sound. The +lamplight showed more plainly the fair youth and loveliness of that +black-clad form, which never, in its most brilliant days, had looked +so exquisite as now, when there was none to gaze upon its beauty or +to share its solitude. The hands were ringless, for Bettina had taken +off her wedding-ring after the reading of the letter which the lawyer +had brought her, and with it she had renounced the last vestige of +allegiance to her late husband’s memory. There was no bitterness in +her heart toward him. Simply he existed not, as though he had never +been.</p> + +<p>Vaguely she heard the sound of Nora’s departure, as the door was +closed behind her, and still she sat there wordless, motionless, +almost breathless as it appeared, for her bosom scarcely seemed to +move.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p><p>Presently there came two tears from under the closed lids; then +quickly others followed them. The sense that she was freed even from +the danger of Nora’s observation weakened her more and more. Then +with the helpless, whispering tones of an unhappy child, she said:</p> + +<p>“My God, how desolate I am! How can I bear it? How long must it +endure?”</p> + +<p>Still she did not move except to raise her lids and cast upward her +tear-drenched eyes, while she caught her lower lip between her teeth.</p> + +<p>Suddenly there was a step upon the piazza—a man’s step, as if in +haste. She started and sat upright. Who could it be? No man except +the rector ever visited her, and this was not the rector’s step. She +hastily brushed away the traces of her tears and sat listening.</p> + +<p>Then came a tap at the door—not loud, but firm, distinct, decided. +It sounded strange to her, unlike the tap of any messenger or servant +who had ever come to her house.</p> + +<p>She got up, leaving the door of the sitting-room open that the light +might enter the dark hall.</p> + +<p>Then, most unaccountably, a sense of fear, very unusual to her, +seemed to possess her. She stood still a moment in the hall and +waited.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span></p><p>The knock was repeated, so near this time that it made her start. She +was not naturally a timid woman, but she felt a sense of physical +fear which was totally unreasoning. What harm was likely to come to +her from such a source? She compelled herself to go forward and open +the door.</p> + +<p>It was very dark outside, and she vaguely distinguished the outline +of a tall man standing before her. The light from the open door at +her back threw out her figure in distinct relief, and it was evident +that she had been recognized, for a voice said, in low but distinct +tones,</p> + +<p>“Lady Hurdly.”</p> + +<p>She gave a cry and pressed both hands against her breast, sharply +drawing in her breath. Then she took a few steps backward, throwing +out one hand to support herself against the wall.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” said the well-known voice—the voice out of all the +world to which her blood-beats answered. “I have come on you too +suddenly. I ought to have written and asked permission to call. I +should have done so, only I feared you might deny me.”</p> + +<p>Somehow the door was closed behind them and they had made their way +into the lighted <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span>room. Bettina, still pale and breathless, began to +murmur some excuses.</p> + +<p>“I beg your pardon; I was frightened. Nora had gone out, and I was +all alone. I did not know who it might be. I never have visitors, and +I was afraid to open the door.”</p> + +<p>He was looking at her keenly.</p> + +<p>“You should not be alone like this,” he said, both resentment and +indignation in his tone. “Why do you never have visitors? Why did +Nora leave you? Where are the other servants?”</p> + +<p>“There are no others. There is only Nora,” she said, recovering +herself a little. “I let her go to church to-night. I am not usually +afraid. Why should I be? Perhaps I am not very well.” As she uttered +these incoherent sentences she sank into a chair and he took one near +her.</p> + +<p>The expression of his face had changed from anxiety to a stern +sadness.</p> + +<p>“And you live alone like this,” he said, “without proper service or +protection? And, in spite of all that I could say and do, you will +not take the miserable pittance which is your own, and which is +wasted there in the bank, where it can avail for no one? Do you think +this is right to yourself—or kind to me?”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span></p><p>The quiet reproach of his tone disturbed her.</p> + +<p>“I do not mean to be unkind,” she said, her voice not quite steady, +“and indeed I have all that I need. Nora has more than time to attend +to me, and as for company, it is because I do not want it that I do +not have it.”</p> + +<p>“And you think you can live without companionship?” he said. “You +will find you are mistaken; but of that I have no right to speak. +There is one subject, however, on which I do claim this right, and it +is the fulfilment of this purpose which has brought me to America.”</p> + +<p>“You came all this way to see me?” she said, lifting her brows as if +in gentle deprecation. “You were always kind.” Her voice broke and +she said no more.</p> + +<p>“It is not a question of kindness,” he said. “It is a matter of the +simplest right and duty. Will you hear me? Are you able to hear me +to-night, or shall I come again to-morrow?”</p> + +<p>“Speak now,” she said. “I am perfectly well, and am ready to hear +whatever you may have to say.”</p> + +<p>Her voice gave proof of a recovered self-control. The necessity of +making this a final interview between them was borne in upon her, and +sitting very still and erect, with her hands <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span>clasped tightly +together, she waited to hear what he might say.</p> + +<p>“Your leaving England so suddenly,” he began, “was, as I need not +say, a disappointment to me. I had hoped to change your mind and +purpose concerning the acceptance not only of money which is your own +by legal right, but of such as is also yours by every rational law of +possession. It was to me an insupportable idea that you should go +away without the means of living as becomes your rank and station.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, with a rather chill smile, shook her head.</p> + +<p>“Rank and station I have none,” she said. “I have money enough to +live as becomes my mother’s child; that I am, and no more. It is the +only bond to the past which I acknowledge. The name and title which I +bore a little while were never mine in a real and true sense. I do +not care to speak of it; it is all past; but the very fact that your +cousin saw fit to leave me with what you call a mere pittance shows +that he felt the distance, the lack of union, between us, as I felt +and feel it.”</p> + +<p>It was a relief to her to say this much. He could gather nothing from +it, and she wanted him to know that she had freed her soul from +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span>every vestige of its bondage to the man whom she chose to designate +as his cousin rather than by any relationship to herself—even a past +one. This point did not escape him.</p> + +<p>“It is with humiliation that I receive your reminder that that man +was, in flesh and blood at least, akin to me,” was the answer; “and +for that reason I have felt it to be my duty to make whatever poor +reparation may be in my power for the evil that he has done.”</p> + +<p>He spoke with extreme seriousness, and there was a tone in his last +words which conveyed to Bettina the suspicion that they referred to +something more than any act of Lord Hurdly’s which had heretofore +been mentioned between them.</p> + +<p>She waited, therefore, in some agitation to hear what his next words +should be.</p> + +<p>“I shall have to ask your forgiveness,” he said, “for touching upon a +matter which might well seem to be an impertinence on my part. The +necessity is forced upon me, however, and I shall be as brief as +possible, if you will be good enough to listen.”</p> + +<p>Bettina answered merely by a bend of the head.</p> + +<p>“As long as I can remember,” he began, “I have had a certain +instinctive distrust of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span>late Lord Hurdly. It grew with my +growth; but I never thought it proper, under the then existing +circumstances, to give expression to it. As time went on, observation +confirmed instinct, and it became evident to me that he was a man of +powerful will, and was more or less unscrupulous in the attainment of +its ends. After his death, in going into the affairs of the estate, +and various other matters which came under my observation, I found +that the truths laid bare before me revealed him as a far worse man +even than I had imagined. It was a revolting manifestation in every +sense; but even when those matters had been closed up—when I +supposed that I was done with the man and aware of the worst—a +revelation was made to me which, though of a piece with the rest, and +no worse in its essence and kind, came home to me with a +thousandfold intensity, from the fact that it nearly concerned both +myself and you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina’s heart beat wildly. She dared not look at him, and with an +instinct to protect herself from betrayal at every cost, she said, in +a voice which was so cool and calm that the sound of it surprised her +as it fell upon her ear:</p> + +<p>“Go on. Explain yourself.”</p> + +<p>She had taken up a paper from the table and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span>was using it as if to +screen her face from the fire, but she managed to get somewhat in the +shadow of it, so that her companion had only a partial view of her +features and expression. In this position, with her eyes bent upon +the fire, her countenance was wholly inscrutable to him. There was a +moment’s silence before he continued.</p> + +<p>“How far the explanation is necessary,” he said, “I do not know. I am +aware that you received a sealed letter, through Cortlin, from a man +named Fitzwilliam Clarke, who is now dead. What that letter contained +is your own affair. I also received a letter from the same source and +by the same hand. It is of the revelation contained in that letter +that I am come to speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Bettina hardly knew whether she was waking or sleeping. The +astounding suddenness of the consciousness which had come to her now +seemed to stun both her body and her mind. She made no sign, however, +as she sat absolutely still, and her companion went on.</p> + +<p>“The letter to you was delivered, you remember, before my return to +England. The interval which elapsed before the delivery of the letter +to me—which occurred scarcely more than a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span>week ago—was due to the +fact that Cortlin had been instructed to put each of these letters +into the hands of none but the man and woman to whom they were +addressed. In the second instance he was prevented by illness from +the prompt performance of his duty. He has had a long and serious +attack of fever. As soon as his condition of health permitted he sent +for me and put the letter into my hands, telling me that he was +ignorant as to its contents, but that a letter from the same source +had been delivered to you by him immediately after the death of the +scoundrel whose treachery had betrayed you into a marriage with him.”</p> + +<p>Bettina could not speak or look at him. The thoughts which were +seething through her brain were too confused for speech. One thing, +however, was quite clear to her. The resentment that this man so +fiercely manifested was for her sake, not his own. His anger was an +impersonal thing. He had a manly and chivalrous nature, and the mere +fact that her mother had once committed her into his keeping would +constitute a strong claim on such a nature. He was outraged that a +countryman and kinsman of his own could so villanously have duped +her. As for his own wrongs in the matter, he apparently <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span>did not +consider these. For all consciousness of them in his words and tones +they might never have existed.</p> + +<p>While these thoughts were passing through her mind, he had risen, and +was pacing the floor with restless strides. Now he paused in front of +her and said:</p> + +<p>“I trust it may not seem to you that I did wrong to come to you and +tell you of the revelation that had been made to me. I have done it +in the belief that the letter which you received conveyed the same +information. May I be allowed to know if this is true?”</p> + +<p>Bettina bent her head, but said no more.</p> + +<p>“Then I feel myself justified in having come,” he said, in a tone of +relief. “If I could have known you ignorant of the infamous wrong +that was done you, by the unscrupulous means used to beguile you into +a marriage which must so have tortured and humiliated any woman, I +might have kept silent. It might perhaps have been best to omit from +the list of the wrongs you must have suffered this crowning infamy of +all. But since it seemed certain that you knew it, and since it had +doubtless been the reason of your refusing to touch the money which +was so rightfully your due, and of your leaving the country <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span>where +this great wrong had been done you, I could not rest until I had +spoken. I could not still the longing to give you a certain solace +which I hoped it might be in my power to give. I knew how sad and +lonely you were. I had written to the rector and asked for tidings of +you.”</p> + +<p>“You had? He never told me,” she said, wonderingly.</p> + +<p>“I particularly bound him not to do so; but I did write more than +once, and got his answers. In that way it came to me that you were +unhappy—courageously and unselfishly, yet profoundly so, and it was +not difficult for me to comprehend the reason. You will forgive me +for going into a dead and buried issue for this once; but I knew your +nature, and it was obvious to me that you were torturing yourself +because you felt that you had done a wrong to me.”</p> + +<p>Bettina caught her breath suddenly, and covered her face with her +hands.</p> + +<p>“Is it not so?” he said.</p> + +<p>But she could not speak. The shrinking anguish of her whole attitude +was her only answer.</p> + +<p>Then he took the seat nearest her, and said:</p> + +<p>“It is with the hope of lifting this totally unnecessary <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span>burden from +your mind that I have come. I beg you to have patience with me while +I speak to you quite simply and tell you why you would be doing wrong +to blame yourself on my account. For this once I must ask you to let +me speak of the past—not the recent past—let us consider that in +its grave forever—but the remote past, in which for a short while I +had a share. I, too, have my confession to make and pardon to beg, +for I am conscious that I wronged you, though it was through +ignorance, youth, inexperience, and also—forgive me for mentioning +it, but it is my best justification—also because I loved you, with a +love which I was then too ignorant even to comprehend. I needs must +beg you to remember that, in owning my great wrong to you. This +wrong,” he continued, after an instant’s pause, “consisted in my +urging you to marry me when you did not love me. I feared it was so, +even then; but I was selfish; I thought of myself and not of you. +When the whispered misgiving would rise up in my mind I forced it +down by vowing that if you did not already love me I could and would +make you do so. When the blow fell, and I knew that I had lost you, I +knew that my selfishness in thinking chiefly of my own happiness had +been properly rewarded. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span>At least this was the feeling that possessed +my heart after the first. You were young, confiding, inexperienced. I +knew better than you possibly could know that you did not love me. +Later, you knew it also.”</p> + +<p>He waited, as if for her response. From behind her close-pressed +hands the answer came.</p> + +<p>“Yes,” she said, lowly, “I have long known that it was a mistake on +my part. You are right. I did not love you.”</p> + +<p>Had she been looking, she would have seen a shadow cross his face—a +very faint one, as the hope that it obscured had been faint also.</p> + +<p>“Therefore,” he said, “I took advantage of you, and obtained from you +a promise which I should never have asked. I want you to feel that I +realize the wrong I did you in that, and ask your forgiveness for +it.”</p> + +<p>Slowly she lowered her hands and looked at him.</p> + +<p>“And you can ask forgiveness of me?” she said.</p> + +<p>“I humbly beg it—as on my knees.”</p> + +<p>“Then what should be my attitude to you?”</p> + +<p>“The proud and upright one of never having done me any conscious +wrong.”</p> + +<p>“But when I left you, rejected you, threw you off—”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span></p><p>“That was not done to me, but to the man you supposed me to be—the +man who had been proved to you a scoundrel, by such proof as any one +would have deemed you mad to doubt.”</p> + +<p>She looked at him somewhat timidly.</p> + +<p>“You are generous indeed,” she said.</p> + +<p>“I am no whit more than just. You were absolutely warranted in such a +course toward me. What I long to do—what I have crossed the world in +the hope of doing—is to get you to forgive yourself, to free +yourself of a hallucination which is casting a needless shadow on +your life.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you are good—good!” she said. “I never knew so kind a heart. +Therefore must my unending misery be the greater that I have once +wounded it.”</p> + +<p>“That consciousness should have no sting for you hereafter. You did +it in utter ignorance. I cannot claim that I was half so ignorant in +my wrong toward you. But surely we may remember that we have once +been friends, and so we may feel that there is full and free +forgiveness between us before we part.”</p> + +<p>She did not speak. That last word had pierced too deeply to her +heart.</p> + +<p>“You do forgive me—do you not?” he said, as if he misunderstood her +silence.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span></p><p>“I thank you—I bless you—I seek <i>your</i> forgiveness,” she said.</p> + +<p>At these last words he smiled—a smile that had a certain bitterness +in it. Then suddenly his face became rigidly grave.</p> + +<p>“If I had not given you my forgiveness, long ago,” he said, “I should +like to offer it to you now, at a price. I wish to God that I could.”</p> + +<p>“What do you mean?” she said, a sweet perplexity upon her face. “What +price have I to pay for anything?”</p> + +<p>“Ah, there it is! It may seem brutal of me to put a literal +construction upon what you have used as a figure of speech, but let +the truth come out. You are poor, unprotected, alone, and you ask me +to go and leave you so! God knows it is little enough that I have it +in my power to do, but the possession of money would enable you at +least to live as it becomes you to live. I do not speak of your +title—it is not what you are called, but what you are, that I have +in mind. If you had money, even the small income which I so desire +that you shall accept, your life would be different.”</p> + +<p>But Bettina looked away from him, and shook her head in the gentle +negation which he knew to be so final.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span></p><p>“How would my life be different?” she said.</p> + +<p>“You could make it so.”</p> + +<p>“In what way?”</p> + +<p>“You could travel, for one thing.”</p> + +<p>“I do not want to travel. I desired it once, and I got my wish. But +with it came a wretchedness that all the travelling in the world +could not carry me away from.”</p> + +<p>“Then what is to be your life?”</p> + +<p>“What you see it now. I do not wish to change it for any other. I +have tried the world and its rewards. There is nothing in them.”</p> + +<p>Her tone of absolute, unexpectant decision maddened him.</p> + +<p>“My God, Bettina!” he exclaimed, too excited to notice that the name +had escaped him. “Are you in earnest? Can you mean it? I wish I could +believe that you did not. But there is a deadly reality about you now +which makes me fear that you will keep your word. That you should +spend your life in this isolation, that you—you—”</p> + +<p>He broke off, as if words failed him.</p> + +<p>“What better can I do?” she said. “You must not think of me as idle +and useless. I am going to try not to be that. I have tried a little. +Ask the rector. And I am going to try more. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span>There is but one thing +that I deeply desire, and that is to be a better woman than I have +been in the past. Oh, I will try hard—I will, indeed I will—to do a +little good in the future, to make up for all the harm I have done!”</p> + +<p>She ceased, her voice failing her, and as she looked at the man +standing near her she saw that he was scarcely listening. Some +intense preoccupation made him take in but vaguely what she was +saying. She saw that he was deeply moved in some way, and the +consciousness that this was so gave her a sense of alarm. She felt +her own will weakening, and she knew that somehow she must get this +parting over, if her strength were to suffice for it.</p> + +<p>“Good-bye,” she said, holding out her hand.</p> + +<p>“Don’t be too sorry for me. You have lightened my heart inexpressibly +by what you have told me. Now that I can feel that you know +all—that, wrong and wicked as I was, I was not so false as it +seemed—I can bear the future with courage. I am sure of it. I want +to say good-bye now, because I prefer not to see you again. You would +only try to shake me in a determination that is not to be shaken. +Don’t trouble about me—please don’t,” she added. “I have health and +youth, and these will suffice me for what I have to do.”</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span></p><p>“Health and youth!” he cried, ignoring her proffered hand, and +throwing his own hands up in a gesture of repudiation. “And what do +these signify in a situation such as yours? They only mean that you +will prolong an existence which, for such a woman as you, seems worse +than death. You ask me to leave you so? To say good-bye—”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I beg it, I implore it, I insist upon it,” she interrupted him, +feeling that her strength was almost gone. “You have said that you +were willing to do me a service—then leave me.”</p> + +<p>She sank back in her chair exhausted.</p> + +<p>“My God! am I a brute?” he said. “Have I made you ill with my idiotic +persistency? I will go. I will rid you of the distress and annoyance +of my presence. But before I go, Bettina,” he said, with a sudden +break in his voice, “I must and will satisfy my heart by one thing: I +must, for the sake of my own soul’s peace, tell you this. I have +never ceased to love you, and I never shall. I gave you up when I saw +the renunciation to be inevitable, but I knew then, as I know now, +that I can never put any other in your place. You were the love of my +youth, and you will be the love of my old age, if my lonely life goes +on till then. Don’t turn from me. Don’t hide your <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span>face like that. I +ask nothing but this sacred right to speak. I know you never loved +me. I know it is not in me—if, indeed, it be in any mortal man—to +enter into the heaven of being loved by you. But, at least, you have +been the vision in my life—the sacred manifestation of what girl and +sweetheart and woman and wife might be—and for that I thank you. In +the shadow of that beatific vision I shall walk henceforth, and +believe me when I say that I shall walk there alone.”</p> + +<p>Bettina, with her face buried in her hands, remained profoundly +still. When he had waited a moment he began to fear that he had +overtaxed her strength too far, and that she might have fainted.</p> + +<p>Kneeling in front of her, he took her two wrists gently in his hands +and tried to draw them away from her eyes. The strong resistance that +she made to this gave evidence enough that she was conscious in every +sentient nerve.</p> + +<p>“Forgive me,” he said; “I am going—I have been wrong to force all +this upon you—but it is the last time that we shall meet. Let me, I +pray you, see your face once more before I turn away from it +forever.”</p> + +<p>The tense hands relaxed within his grasp, but <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span>he caught no more than +a second’s glimpse of the beautiful face before it was hid against +his shoulder.</p> + +<p>At the same instant a low voice whispered in his ear:</p> + +<p>“Don’t move until I speak to you.”</p> + +<p>Overwhelmed with wonder, he felt the hands which he had grasped now +holding fast his own, that she might compel him to the stillness +which she had commanded. Then the soft voice at his ear went on:</p> + +<p>“You were right in saying that I did not love you—that you would +have urged me into a marriage to which I could not have brought the +true feeling. I did not know it then, but I know it now. And I know +it now because—because—” her voice trembled and her breath came +quick—“because now I do love you. Oh, Horace, better love than this +man could not have or woman give.”</p> + +<p>She ended in a burst of tears, and her exhausted body leaned against +him for support.</p> + +<p>For a moment he felt an amazement so overwhelming that he seemed half +unconscious from the whirling in his brain. Then, as a lightning +flash lights up the whole dark heaven in an instant’s time, the truth +was revealed to him, and, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span>with that consciousness, his arms were +tight about her and his kisses on her lips.</p> + +<p>If he questioned her at all, it was with his spirit, and her answer +came in that ineffable sense of union which fused their souls in one. +For long still moments they rested so, in that embrace, and when they +moved apart and looked into each other’s eyes it was to take up +forever that united life which was to bind them in true marriage.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p>When Nora returned from church she found them sitting quietly before +the fire, the lamp burning brightly under the kettle, from which the +Lady Hurdly that was and was to be had just made tea for her lord.</p> + +<h3>THE END</h3> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> MARY E. WILKINS</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>SILENCE, and Other Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +<span style="white-space: nowrap;">$1 25.</span></p> + +<p>JEROME, A POOR MAN. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1 50.</p> + +<p>MADELON. A Novel. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>PEMBROKE. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 50.</p> + +<p>JANE FIELD. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>A NEW ENGLAND NUN, and Other Stories. 16mo, Cloth, +Ornamental. $1 25.</p> + +<p>A HUMBLE ROMANCE, and Other Stories. 16mo, Cloth, +Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>YOUNG LUCRETIA, and Other Stories. Illustrated. Post +8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>GILES COREY, YEOMAN. A Play. Illustrated. 32mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, 50 cents.</p> + +<p>Mary E. Wilkins writes of New England country life, analyzes New +England country character, with the skill and deftness of one who +knows it through and through, and yet never forgets that, while realistic, +she is first and last an artist.—<i>Boston Advertiser.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Wilkins has attained an eminent position among her literary +contemporaries as one of the most careful, natural, and effective +writers of brief dramatic incident. Few surpass her in expressing the +homely pathos of the poor and ignorant, while the humor of her stories +is quiet, pervasive, and suggestive.—<i>Philadelphia Press.</i></p> + +<p>It takes just such distinguished literary art as Mary E. Wilkins possesses +to give an episode of New England its soul, pathos, and poetry.—<i>N. +Y. Times.</i></p> + +<p>The pathos of New England life, its intensities of repressed feeling, +its homely tragedies, and its tender humor, have never been better +told than by Mary E. Wilkins.—<i>Boston Courier.</i></p> + +<p>The simplicity, purity, and quaintness of these stories set them apart +in a niche of distinction where they have no rivals.—<i>Literary World</i>, +Boston.</p> + +<p>The charm of Miss Wilkins’s stories is in her intimate acquaintance +and comprehension of humble life, and the sweet human interest she +feels and makes her readers partake of, in the simple, common, homely +people she draws.—<i>Springfield Republican.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, to any +part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> RUTH McENERY STUART</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>MORIAH’S MOURNING, and Other Half-Hour +Sketches. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>IN SIMPKINSVILLE. Character Tales. Illustrated. +Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>SOLOMON CROW’S CHRISTMAS POCKETS, and +Other Tales. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>CARLOTTA’S INTENDED, and Other Tales. Illustrated. +Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 50.</p> + +<p>A GOLDEN WEDDING, and Other Tales. Illustrated. +Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 50.</p> + +<p>THE STORY OF BABETTE: A Little Creole Girl. +Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 50.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Stuart is one of some half-dozen American writers +who are doing the best that is being done for English literature +at the present time. Her range of dialect is extraordinary; +but, after all, it is not the dialect that constitutes the +chief value of her work. That will be found in its genuineness, +lighted up as it is by superior intelligence and imagination +and delightful humor.—<i>Chicago Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Mrs. Stuart is a genuine humorist.—<i>N.Y. Mail and Express.</i></p> + +<p>Few surpass Mrs. Stuart in dialect studies of negro life and +character.—<i>Detroit Free Press.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, or +Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> + +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> CONSTANCE F. WOOLSON</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>MENTONE, CAIRO, AND CORFU. Illustrated. +Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 75.</p> + +<p>To the accuracy of a guide-book it adds the charm of a cultured and +appreciative vision.—<i>Philadelphia Ledger.</i></p> + +<p>DOROTHY, and Other Italian Stories. Illustrated. +16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>THE FRONT YARD, and Other Italian Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>HORACE CHASE. A Novel. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>JUPITER LIGHTS. A Novel. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>EAST ANGELS. A Novel. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +$1 25.</p> + +<p>ANNE. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 25.</p> + +<p>FOR THE MAJOR. A Novelette. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, +<span style="white-space: nowrap;">$1 00.</span></p> + +<p>CASTLE NOWHERE. Lake-Country Sketches. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1 00.</p> + +<p>RODMAN THE KEEPER. Southern Sketches. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1 00.</p> + +<p>Characterization is Miss Woolson’s forte. Her men and women are +not mere puppets, but original, breathing, and finely contrasted +creations.—<i>Chicago Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Woolson is one of the few novelists of the day who know how +to make conversation, how to individualize the speakers, how to exclude +rabid realism without falling into literary formality.—<i>N. Y. +Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>For tenderness and purity of thought, for exquisitely delicate sketching +of characters, Miss Woolson is unexcelled among writers of fiction.—<i>New +Orleans Picayune.</i></p> + +<p>For swiftly graphic stroke, for delicacy of appreciative coloring, and +for sentimental suggestiveness, it would be hard to rival Miss Woolson’s +sketches.—<i>Watchman,</i> Boston.</p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, to any +part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> LILIAN BELL</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>THE INSTINCT OF STEP-FATHERHOOD. Stories.</p> + +<p>The spirit of fun is found to a greater or less degree in all +of the sketches, but at times the fun borders on the tragic so +closely that the dividing line between laughter and tears almost +fades out of sight.—<i>Brooklyn Eagle.</i></p> + +<p>FROM A GIRL’S POINT OF VIEW.</p> + +<p>The author is so good-humored, quaint, and clever that she +has not left a dull page in her book.—<i>Saturday Evening Gazette,</i> +Boston.</p> + +<p>A LITTLE SISTER TO THE WILDERNESS. A +Novel. New Edition.</p> + +<p>Written from the heart and with rare sympathy.... The +writer has a natural and fluent style, and her dialect has the +double excellence of being novel and scanty. The scenes are +picturesque and diversified.—<i>Churchman,</i> N.Y.</p> + +<p>THE UNDER SIDE OF THINGS. A Novel. With +a Portrait of the Author.</p> + +<p>This is a tenderly beautiful story.... This book is Miss +Bell’s best effort, and most in the line of what we hope to see +her proceed in, dainty and keen and bright, and always full +of the fine warmth and tenderness of splendid womanhood.—<i>Interior,</i> +Chicago.</p> + +<p>THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF AN OLD MAID.</p> + +<p>So much sense, sentiment, and humor are not often united +in a single volume.—<i>Observer,</i> N.Y.</p> + +<p class="center">16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, Uncut Edges and Gilt Tops,<br /> +$1 25 per volume.</p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, or +Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> MARIA LOUISE POOL</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>THE RED-BRIDGE NEIGHBORHOOD. Illustrated +by <span class="smcap">Clifford Carleton</span>. $1 50.</p> + +<p>IN THE FIRST PERSON. $1 25.</p> + +<p>MRS. GERALD. Illustrated. $1 50.</p> + +<p>AGAINST HUMAN NATURE. $1 25.</p> + +<p>OUT OF STEP. $1 25.</p> + +<p>THE TWO SALOMES. $1 25.</p> + +<p>KATHARINE NORTH. $1 25.</p> + +<p>MRS. KEATS BRADFORD. $1 25.</p> + +<p>ROWENY IN BOSTON. $1 25.</p> + +<p>DALLY. $1 25.</p> + +<p class="center">Novels. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental.</p> + +<p>The author’s narrative gift is as nearly perfect as one +could wish.—<i>Chicago Interior.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Pool’s novels have the characteristic qualities of +American life. They have an indigenous flavor. The author +is on her own ground, instinct with American feeling and purpose.—<i>New +York Tribune.</i></p> + +<p>Miss Pool is one of the most distinctive and powerful of +novelists of the period, and she well maintains her reputation +in this instance.—<i>Philadelphia Telegraph.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, +to any part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of +the price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> + +<div class="centerbox bbox"> +<h3><span class="smcap">By</span> ELIZABETH B. CUSTER</h3> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<p>FOLLOWING THE GUIDON. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, <span style="white-space: nowrap">$1 50.</span></p> + +<p>The story is a thrillingly interesting one, charmingly told.... Mrs. +Custer gives sketches photographic in their fidelity to fact, and +touches them with the brush of the true artist just enough to give +them coloring. It is a charming volume, and the reader who begins it +will hardly lay it down until it is finished.—<i>Boston Traveller.</i></p> + +<p>An admirable book. Mrs. Custer was almost as good a soldier as her +gallant husband, and her book breathes the true martial spirit.—<i>St. +Louis Republic.</i></p> + +<p>BOOTS AND SADDLES; or, Life in Dakota with General Custer. With +Portrait of General Custer, and Map. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1 +50.</p> + +<p>A book of adventure is interesting reading, especially when it is all +true, as is the case with “Boots and Saddles.” ... Mrs. Custer does +not obtrude the fact that sunshine and solace went with her to tent +and fort, but it inheres in her narrative none the less, and as a +consequence “these simple annals of our daily life,” as she calls +them, are never dull nor uninteresting.—<i>Evangelist,</i> N. Y.</p> + +<p>No better or more satisfactory life of General Custer could have been +written.... We know of no biographical work anywhere which we count +better than this.—<i>N. Y. Commercial Advertiser.</i></p> + +<p>TENTING ON THE PLAINS; or, General Custer in Kansas and Texas. +Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1 50.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Custer was a keen observer.... The narrative abounds in vivid +description, in exciting incident, and gives us a realistic picture +of adventurous frontier life. This new edition will be +welcomed.—<i>Boston Advertiser.</i></p> + +<hr class="tiny" /> + +<h3>HARPER & BROTHERS, <span class="smcap">Publishers</span></h3> + +<h4>NEW YORK AND LONDON</h4> + +<p>☞<i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage prepaid, to any +part of the United States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the +price.</i></p></div> + +<hr class="large" /> +<h3><span class="smcap">Transcriber’s Notes:</span></h3> + +<p>1. Minor changes have been made to correct obvious typesetter errors; +otherwise, every effort has been made to remain true to the author’s +words and intent.</p> + +<p>2. There was no Table of Contents in the original of this book; one +has been added for the reader’s convenience.</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Manifest Destiny, by Julia Magruder + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MANIFEST DESTINY *** + +***** This file should be named 30464-h.htm or 30464-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/4/6/30464/ + +Produced by D Alexander and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Manifest Destiny + +Author: Julia Magruder + +Release Date: November 13, 2009 [EBook #30464] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MANIFEST DESTINY *** + + + + +Produced by D Alexander and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + + A Manifest Destiny + + BY + + JULIA MAGRUDER + AUTHOR OF "A MAGNIFICENT PLEBEIAN" + + ILLUSTRATED + + NEW YORK AND LONDON + HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS + 1900 + + + + + Copyright, 1900, by JULIA MAGRUDER. + + _All rights reserved._ + + + + + [Illustration: Page 16 + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL"] + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "BETTINA THREW BACK HER VEIL" _Frontispiece_ + + SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR _Facing p._ 34 + + "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'" " 60 + + "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'" " 100 + + "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD" " 168 + + "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'" " 190 + + + + +A MANIFEST DESTINY + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +Bettina Mowbray, walking the deck of the ocean steamer bound for +England, was aware that she was observed with interest by a great +many pairs of eyes. Certainly the possessors of these eyes were not +more interested in her than she was in the interpretation of their +glances. It was, indeed, of the first importance to her to know that +she was being especially noticed by the men and women of the world, +who in large part made up the passenger list, since her beauty was +her one endowment for the position in the great world which all her +life she had intended and expected to occupy. She was anxious, +therefore, to know whether the personal appearance which had been +rated so high in the obscure places hitherto known to her would or +would not hold its own when she got out into life, as it were. + +Therefore, as Miss Mowbray paced the deck, at the side of the erect +elderly woman who had been her nurse and was now her maid, she was +vigilantly regardful of the looks which were turned upon her, and at +times, by straining her ears, she could even catch a word or two of +comment. Both looks and words were gratifying in the extreme. They +not only confirmed the previous verdict passed upon her beauty, but +they gave evidence to her keen intuition that, judged by a higher +standard, she had won a higher tribute. + +Yet, ardent as this admiration was on the one side, and grateful as +it was on the other, there the matter stopped. To those who would +have approached her more closely Bettina set up a tacit barrier which +no one had been able to cross, and, after several days at sea, she +was still limited to the society of her maid. Those who had spoken to +her once had been so politely repelled that they had not spoken +again, and many of those who had felt inclined to speak had, on +coming nearer to her, refrained instinctively. + +There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye +and the imagination in this tall girl in her deep mourning. This, +perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and +expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad, +dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning +dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time +there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made +her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in +which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the +brilliancy of a jewel. + +And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the +dual nature which was Bettina's. Her mother, who had studied her with +a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two +key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor +of Bettina's heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little +old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was +from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of +sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other +strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of +what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a +sort of desperation, and looked about her to see what was yet left +to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue. +With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could +never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she +must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in +the world. + +This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had +been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank +and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect. + +In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the +papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her +beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had +fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had +many a pang of fear for the future of her child. + +When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her +heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the +dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the +possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if +she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite +opportunity in the person of one whom her mother entirely trusted +and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was +little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position, +but it had come about quite simply. + +The rector of the church in the village where Mrs. Mowbray and her +daughter lived was an Englishman of good family, the Rev. Arthur +Spotswood by name. When his young relative, Horace Spotswood, who was +cousin and heir to Lord Hurdly, came to travel in America, it was but +natural that he should visit the rector in his home. Natural, too, it +was that he should there encounter Bettina Mowbray; and as he thought +her the most charming and most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and +as his affections were quite disengaged, it was almost a matter of +course that he should fall in love with her. + +So aware of this was Bettina that when one morning she had met and +talked to the young fellow at the rectory, she wound up the account +of the meeting which she gave to her mother by saying, quite simply: + +"He will ask me to marry him, mamma, and I shall say yes. So for a +short time I shall be Mrs. Horace Spotswood, the wife of a diplomat +at the Russian court, and ultimately I shall be Lady Hurdly, with a +London mansion, several country places, and one of the greatest +positions in English society." + +"My child, my poor child!" said the mother, in a tone of distress, +"what is to be the end of your inordinate ambition for the things of +the world? You have got to discover the vanity and hollowness of them +some time, but what must you suffer on your way to this experience! +Money and position cannot bring happiness in marriage. Nothing can do +that but love." + +"But, you see, I propose to have love too," was the gay response. "I +assure you it will not be a difficult matter to love such a man as +this, and I assure you also that he is fathoms deep in love with me +already. He is manly, handsome, healthy, well-bred, and altogether +charming. As to my ever loving any created being as I love you, +mother darling, that, I have always told you, is out of the question; +but I can imagine myself caring a good deal for this young heir of +Lord Hurdly." + +"Bettina," said the mother, gravely, laying her hands on her +daughter's shoulder and looking deep into her eyes, "you will have to +come to it by suffering, my child, but you will come to it at +last--the knowledge that even the love which you give to me is slight +and inadequate, and not worthy to be compared with the love which +you will one day feel for the man who, as your husband, shall call +forth your highest feeling. I believe this with firm conviction, and +I beg you not to throw away your chance of a woman's best heritage. +Don't marry this man, or any man, until you can feel that even the +great love you have given me is poor compared with that. Heaven knows +I love you, child, and mother-love is stronger than daughter-love; +but I could not love you so well or so worthly if I had not loved +your father more." + +These words, so impatiently listened to, were destined to come back +to Bettina afterward, though at the time she resented the very +suggestion of what they predicted. + +Her instinct about young Spotswood had been exactly true. He had +become fascinated with her during their first interview, and had +followed up the acquaintance with ardor, making her very soon a +proposal of marriage. + +Lord Hurdly, his cousin, was unmarried, it appeared, and was an +inveterate enemy to matrimony. Horace Spotswood was his nearest of +kin and legal heir. But Lord Hurdly was not over sixty two or three, +and was likely to live a long time. Finding it, perhaps, not very +agreeable to be constantly reminded that another man would some day +stand in his shoes, his lordship had procured for Horace a diplomatic +position at St. Petersburg, where, although the society was +delightful, the pay was small. As his heir, however, Lord Hurdly made +him a very liberal allowance, and with this it was easy for Horace to +indulge his taste for travel. In this way he had come to America, +intending to see it extensively; but he met Bettina, and from that +moment gave up every other thought but the dominant one of winning +her for his wife. + +Even when he had asked and been accepted he could not leave her side, +but concluded to await there Lord Hurdly's answer to his letter +announcing his engagement. He was not without certain misgivings on +this point, but he had written so convincingly, as he thought, of +Bettina's beauty, breeding, and fitness for the position of Lady +Hurdly that was to be, that he would not and could not believe that +his cousin would disapprove. Besides, he was too blissfully happy to +grieve over problematical troubles, and so he quite gave himself up +to the joys of his present position and ardent dreams of the future. + +It happened, however, that Lord Hurdly's letter, when it came, was a +cold, curt, and most decided refusal to consent to the marriage. He +objected chiefly on the score of Bettina's being an American, though +he did not hesitate to say also that he considered his heir a fool to +think of marrying a woman without fortune, when he might so easily do +better. In conclusion, he said that if this infatuated nonsense, as +he called it, went on, he would withdraw his allowance from the very +day of the marriage. He ended by hoping that Horace would come to his +senses, and let him know that the thing was at an end. + +Poor Horace! He would fain have kept this letter from Bettina, but +she insisted upon seeing it. Having done so, she became fired with a +keen desire to triumph over this obdurate opposition, and when Horace +asked her if she would still fulfil her pledge, in the face of his +altered fortunes, she agreed with rather more ardor of feeling than +she had hitherto shown. + +The truth was, Bettina had disappointed him in this last respect. Her +mother was so obviously and unquestionably her first thought, and her +mother's failing health was so plainly a grief which his love could +not counterbalance, that he at times had pangs of jealousy, of which +he afterward felt ashamed. Was not this intense love for her mother +in itself a proof of her great capacity of loving, and must he not, +with patient waiting, one day see himself loved in like manner? +Still, he chafed under the fact that every day her mother became more +and more the object of her time and attention, so that he saw her now +more rarely and for shorter periods. She always explained this fact +by saying that the invalid was more suffering and in need of her, and +she never seemed to think it possible that this excuse would not be +all-sufficing. + +At last a day came which brought him what he had been fearing--a +summons to return to his post of duty. At one time he would have +attempted to get a longer leave, even at some risk; but now, with the +prospect of having his allowance from England withdrawn, he dared not +do so. He knew that it would require great economy for two to live on +what had once seemed so inadequate for one, and he laid the matter +frankly before Bettina. She was full of hope that Lord Hurdly would +relent, and spoke so indifferently about their lack of money that he +loved her all the more for it. + +He had some hope, in his ardent soul, that he might persuade Bettina +to be married at once and go with him, but when he ventured to +propose this he found that the mere suggestion of her leaving her +mother, then or ever, made her almost angry. She insisted that her +mother would get better; that when the weather changed she would be +braced up and strengthened, and then, she hoped, a thorough change +would do her good. So her plan was to let her lover go at once, and +some months later, when Mrs. Mowbray should be stronger, they would +go to England together, and there Spotswood could meet her and they +could be married. + +With this promise he was obliged to go. It was a new and annoying +experience for him to have to consider the question of money so +closely. True, he was Lord Hurdly's heir-at-law, and he could not be +disinherited, so far as the title and entailed estates were +concerned, but it was wholly within the power of the present lord to +deprive him of the other properties, and he knew Lord Hurdly well +enough to understand that he was tenacious of any position once +taken. + +So he said farewell to Bettina with a sad heart. He was ardently +willing to give up money and ease and to endure hardness for her +sake, but he would have wished to feel that the sadness and +depression in which Bettina parted from him had been the echo of what +was in his own heart, rather than, as he was quite aware, the deeper +care and sorrow of her anxiety about her mother's health. + +Once away from her, however, the strong flame of his love burned so +vividly that he wrote her, by almost every mail, letters of such +heart-felt love and sympathy and adoration that he could but feel +confident that they would bring him a reply in kind. When at last her +letters did come, they were so short, scant, and preoccupied that +they fell like blows upon his heart. When he thought of the +passionately loving letters that she was getting almost daily, while +he got so rarely these half-hearted and insufficient ones, his pride +became aroused, and he decided that he would imitate her to the +extent of writing more rarely, even if he could not find it in his +heart to write to her coolly, as she did to him. In this way it came +to pass that there was a distinct change in the tone of his letters +to her. As day by day, and sometimes week by week, passed without his +hearing from her, and as her letters, when they came, continued to +speak only of her mother's health and her grief about it, the young +fellow's love and pride were alike so wounded that he forced himself, +so far as his nature and feelings would allow, to imitate her +attitude to him, and to cease the expression of the vehement love +for her in which he got no response. + +At last, after a longer interval than usual, he got a letter from +Bettina, which told him that her mother was dead--had, indeed, been +dead and buried almost two weeks before she had roused herself to +write to him. + +In the tone of this letter there was a sort of desperate resolution +that showed that a reaction had come on, under the stress of which +she had been roused to act with energy. She announced that as she had +found it intolerable to stay where she was, she would sail for Europe +at once. She fixed the 23d of June as the day on which she had +decided to sail. In reality, however, she actually embarked from New +York just one week earlier. This was in pursuance of a certain plan +which required that she should have one week in London quite free of +Horace before he should come to claim the fulfilment of her promise +to marry him. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +Bettina was in London. The ocean voyage had done her good, and the +necessary effect of change, variety, new faces, new feelings, new +thoughts, had been to take her out of herself--the self that was +nothing but a grieving and bereaved daughter--and to quicken the +pleasure-loving instincts and thirst for admiration which were as +inherently, though not as prominently, a part of her. There was still +a root of bitterness springing up within her whenever she thought of +her mother's being taken from her, and this very element it was which +urged her to make all she could of life, in the hope of partially +filling the void in her heart. She was not even yet reconciled to the +loss of her mother, and there was a certain defiance of destiny in +her resolution to get some compensation for the wrong she had +sustained in losing what was dearest to her. + +On arriving in London, Bettina went to a hotel, and from there made +inquiries as to the whereabouts of Lord Hurdly. Parliament was in +session, and his lordship was in his town house in Grosvenor Square. +Having ascertained the hour at which he was most likely to be at +home, Bettina betook herself at that hour to his house. + +She refused to give her name to the servant who answered her ring, +and asked merely that Lord Hurdly might be told that a lady wished to +speak to him on a matter of importance. The servant, after a moment's +hesitation, ushered her into a small reception-room on the first +floor, and requested her to wait there. + +She stood for a few moments alone in this room, her heart beating +fast. She wore the American style of deep mourning, which swathed her +in dense, impenetrable black from head to feet, and seemed to add to +her somewhat unusual tallness. + +The door opened. Lord Hurdly entered. She had seen photographs of +him, and even through that thick veil would have known him anywhere. +The tall, thin figure, sharp eyes, aquiline nose, clean-shaven face, +and scrupulous dress were all familiar to both memory and +imagination. + +He paused on the threshold of the room, as if slightly repelled by +the strange appearance of the shrouded figure before him. Then he +spoke, coldly and concisely. + +"You wished to speak to me?" he said. "I have a few moments only at +my disposal." + +Bettina raised one hand and threw back her veil, revealing thus not +only her face, but her whole figure clothed in smooth, tight-fitting +black, so plain and devoid of trimming that the exquisite lines were +shown to the best advantage. Her face, surrounded by black draperies, +looked as purely tinted as a flower, and the excitement of the moment +had made her eyes brilliant and flushed her cheeks. + +The imperturbability of Lord Hurdly's face relaxed. His lips parted; +a smothered sound, as of surprise, escaped him. Certainly at that +moment Bettina was nothing less than bewilderingly beautiful. + +"I have to beg your pardon for coming to you so unceremoniously," she +said. "My excuse is that I have a matter of great importance to speak +to you of." + +Her voice was certainly a charming one, and if her accent was such as +he might have found fault with under other circumstances, under these +he found it an added attraction. She had put her own construction on +Lord Hurdly's evident surprise at sight of her, and it was one which +gave her an increased self-possession and added to her sense of +power. + +"Let us go into another room," said Lord Hurdly. "I cannot keep you +here, and whatever you may have to say to me I am quite at leisure to +attend to." + +He led the way from the room, and Bettina followed in silence. She +had had innumerable dreams of grandeur, poor child! but she had been +too ignorant even to imagine such a place as this house. Its +furnishing and decorations represented not only the accumulated +wealth, but also the accumulated taste and opportunity, of many +successive generations. She felt an ineffable emotion of deep, +sensuous enjoyment in her present surroundings which made her heart +leap at the idea that all these things might some day be hers. Lord +Hurdly looked exceedingly well preserved, and that day might be very +far distant. All the more reason, therefore, she told herself, why +she should make peace between him and Horace, so that she might at +least be sometimes a guest in this house, and be lifted into an +atmosphere where she felt for the first time that she was in her true +element. It was not only the magnificence which she saw on every side +which so appealed to her. It was that air of the best in everything +that made her feel, in Lord Hurdly's presence, as well as in his +house, that civilization could not go further--that life, on its +material side, had nothing more to offer. And Bettina had now reached +a point in her experience where material pleasure seemed to be all +that was left. She quite believed that all of the joy of loving was +buried in the grave of her mother. + +Her heart was beating fast as she entered Lord Hurdly's library and +saw him close the door behind them. It then struck her as being a +little peculiar that he should have brought her here without even +knowing who she was or what she wanted of him. + +A doubt, a scarcely possible suspicion, came into her mind. + +"Have you any idea who I am?" she said. + +"It suffices me to know what you are." + +"Ah! I do not understand," she said, puzzled. + +"You have come upon me without ceremony, madam," said Lord Hurdly, +with a slightly old-fashioned pomposity in his polished manner, "and +I may therefore ask you to excuse an absence of ceremony in me in +alluding to the impression which you have made upon me. You are a +stranger to me--an American, I judge from your speech. I hope that I +am to be so fortunate as to hear that there is something which I can +do for you." + +"There is," Bettina said--"a thing so vital and important to me that, +now I am in your presence, I am afraid to venture to speak, for fear +you may refuse to hear my prayer." + +"You are in small danger from that quarter, I assure you. I am ready +to do for you whatever you may ask. Let me, however, put a few +questions before I hear your request. You are wearing mourning. Is +it, perhaps, for your husband?" + +"For my mother," said Bettina, with a sudden trembling of the lip and +suffusion of the eyes which gave her a new charm, in revealing the +fact that this young goddess had a human heart which could be quickly +stirred to emotion. + +"Forgive me," said Lord Hurdly, with great courtesy. "Forget that I +have roughly touched a spot so sore, and tell me this, if you will: +are you married or unmarried?" + +"I am unmarried," said Bettina, beginning to tremble as she found the +important moment upon her; "but I am about to be married. I have made +this visit to London beforehand only to see you. The man I am going +to marry is your cousin and heir, Horace Spotswood." + +Lord Hurdly's guarded face betrayed a certain agitation, but the +signs of this were quickly controlled. + +He looked straight into her eyes for a few seconds without speaking. +Then he crossed the room and touched an electric button, saying, as +he did so: + +"I will get rid of an engagement that I had, so that I may be quite +at leisure to talk with you." + +Neither spoke again until the servant had come, taken his +instructions, and gone away, closing the door behind him. There was a +certain determination in Lord Hurdly's manner and expression which +did not escape Bettina. She was sure that her revelation of her +identity had prompted some decisive course of action in his mind, but +what it was she could not guess from that inscrutable face. + +"I am now quite free for the morning," her companion said. "Naturally +there is much for us to say to each other. Will you not lay aside +your bonnet and wrap? The day is warm, and that heavy mourning must +distress you." + +Certainly his manner was kind. Bettina began to like him and to hope +for success in her object in coming here. Quickly unbuttoning her +black gloves, she unsheathed her lovely hands, which were bare of +rings. Then with a few deft motions she removed her outer wrap and +her bonnet with its long, thick veil. + +In so doing she revealed the fact that she had an exquisite head, +with delicious masses of brown hair which looked almost reddish in +its contrast to the dense black of her gown, the smooth severity of +which accentuated every lovely curve of her figure, as it would have +done every defect, had there been defect. This gown was fitted to her +so absolutely that one had the satisfying sense that one looked at +the woman instead of at her clothes. There were fine old portraits on +the wall, of noble ladies who had once done the honors of this great +establishment, but the fairest of them paled before the glowing +loveliness of this girl. For she looked a girl, despite her sombre +garments, and there was a certain timidity in her manner which +strengthened this impression. + +Lord Hurdly offered her a seat, and then took another, facing her. + +"In engaging yourself to marry Horace Spotswood," he began, +deliberately, "you have made the supreme, if not the irreparable, +mistake of your life." + +Bettina's white skin showed the sudden ebb of the blood in her veins +as he said these words. + +"Why?" she asked, concisely. + +"Because he is no match for you, and because your marrying him would +not only place you on a lower plane than where you belong, but it +would also so seriously injure his position in life that there would +be no possible chance for him to retrieve it until my death. I am +comparatively a young man, and likely to live a long time. Apart from +that, I may marry. I had no expectation or intention of doing so, but +his recent defiance of me has made me sometimes feel inclined to the +idea. I have so far changed in my feeling on this subject that if I +could meet and win a woman to my mind, I would marry at once. What +then would become of Horace? He has a mere pittance besides his pay, +which is a ridiculous sum for a man to marry on. He has wronged you +in putting you in such a position, and you have equally wronged him." + +Bettina had turned very white as he spoke. The picture he drew was +bad enough in itself, but to have it sketched before her in her +present surroundings made it infinitely worse. + +"If we have wronged each other, we have done it ignorantly," she +said. "He assured me that you were determined never to marry, and he +counted on your past kindness and your attachment to him--" + +She broke off, her voice shaken. + +"On the same ground I counted on him," said Lord Hurdly. "He was in +no position to marry against my will, and in engaging to do so he +defied me. Let him take the consequences." + +"Then you are determined not to relent?" Bettina faltered. "You will +not forgive him for the offence of proposing to make me his wife?" + +"I did not say that," returned Lord Hurdly, with a subtle change of +tone. "I certainly should not forgive him for marrying you, but for +proposing to do so I am ready enough to forgive him, provided he +comes to his senses at that point and goes no further. In that event +I am ready not only to continue the handsome income that I have +allowed him, but to give him outright the principal of it." + +Bettina had never pretended that she was deeply in love with Horace +Spotswood. Indeed, she had quite decided within herself that she was +incapable of such a state of feeling, and it was her belief that the +fervor and intensity of love which she had given to her mother had +taken the place of what some women give to their husbands. Still, she +looked upon her prospective marriage to him as one of the fixed facts +of the universe, and Lord Hurdly's words bewildered her. + +Keener than this surprise, however, was her sense of humiliation at +the implacable offence which Lord Hurdly had taken at his heir's +proposed marriage with herself. That he had wished Horace to marry +she knew; it was therefore the woman whom he had chosen that Lord +Hurdly resented. + +She rose to her feet, feeling herself giddy, and knowing that she was +white with agitation. Her one idea was to get away--to escape the +scrutiny of the intense gaze which was fixed upon her. + +"I must go. I beg your pardon for coming," she said, with a proud +coldness, reaching for her wrap. + +"You must not go. I owe you endless thanks for coming, and I will +show you that you have to congratulate yourself also on this +interview. If you went now, you would defeat all the good that may +come of it. Sit down, I beg of you, and hear me out." + +His manner was not only urgent, it was also kind, and nothing could +have been more respectful than his every look and tone. + +Bettina sat down again and waited. + +"What is it that has shocked you?" he said. "Is it because of your +great love for Horace--or is it his for you which you are thinking of +most?" + +"I do not see that I am bound to answer you that question," said +Bettina, proudly. "My reasons are sufficient for myself." + +"You are in no way bound, my dear young lady, but you would be wise +to answer me. I have every disposition to act as your friend in this +matter, and you would be making a mistake to turn away from me +without hearing what I have to say. If you are imagining that the +young fellow with whom you have an engagement of marriage would be +rendered inconsolable by the loss of you, when it would be made up to +him by the possession of a fortune, perhaps you overestimate things." + +"What things?" she said, still cold and withheld in her manner, her +pale face very set. + +"The unselfishness of man's love in general, and of this man's in +particular," he said; "and, for another thing, yourself. It seems a +brutal thing to say, but if you believe that that hotheaded, +undisciplined boy is capable of a sustained affection against such +odds of fortune as this case presents, then I disagree with you, and +I know him better than you do." + +Bettina's face flushed. + +"He does love me--he does!" she cried, in some agitation. "I have +been cold and careless toward him, and have told him that my heart +was buried in my mother's grave." At these words her voice trembled. +"He knows how hard it is for me to think of another kind of love just +yet; but he has been kindness itself, and has written me the dearest, +lovingest letters that ever a woman had. If they have been a little +rarer and colder lately, it is only because of my own shortcomings +toward him. I shall try to atone for them now. Since I realize how +great an injury I have done to him, I shall try to be his +compensation for it." + +"And you think you will succeed? I doubt it." + +Something in his manner impressed her in spite of herself. Perhaps he +saw that it was so, for he pushed his advantage. + +"Compare the length and opportunities of my intercourse with him and +yours," he said. "You would be acting the part of absolute folly not +to listen to me now. In the end you will be as free to act as you +were in the beginning. Only let me remind you that his future is +involved as well as your own." + +He saw that this argument told. + +"I am willing to listen," she said. + +"I am grateful to you," he answered, with that air of finished +politeness which makes the best graces of a young man seem crude, and +which Bettina was not too ignorant to appreciate at its proper value. + +"I have known Horace as child and boy and man--if he may yet be +called a man," he said, with a light touch of scorn. "You have known +him in one capacity and state only--that of a lover, a _role_ he can +no doubt play very prettily, and one in which, despite his youth, he +is far from being unpractised. He has been in love oftener than it +behooves me to say or you to hear--quite harmless affairs, of course, +but they prove to one who has watched him as I have that his nature +is fickle and capricious. I confess that when I heard you say, just +now, that his letters of late had been rarer and less ardent, I could +not wholly attribute it to the reason which so quickly satisfied you. +As a rule, these intensely ardent feelings are not of long duration, +and I know well both the intensity and the brevity of Horace's +attacks of love. It was for this very reason that I so resented the +idea of his marrying without my advice. I foresaw that he would soon +weary of any woman. All the more reason, therefore, for his choosing +one who was suited to him, apart from the matter of his loving her. I +knew he had not the staying quality--that he was quite incapable of a +sustained affection. I therefore considered his taste in the matter +less than my own. As he was my heir in the event of my not marrying, +I felt that I had the right to demand that he should marry suitably +to his position." + +"I regret that he should have made an engagement which has +disappointed you," said Bettina, a slight curl at the corners of her +lips. + +"I regret it also; but you may remember that at the beginning of this +interview I spoke of this mistake on your part and on his as great, +though not perhaps irreparable." + +He was looking at her keenly, and he saw that his words had no effect +upon her except to mystify her. + +"I do not see any way to its reparation," she said, and was about to +continue, when he interrupted her. + +"I have pointed out the way--a rupture of the engagement by mutual +consent." + +"A consent that he would never give," said Bettina, with a certain +pride of confidence. + +"And you?" he asked. + +"Nor I either," she said, "unless I were convinced that he wished +it." + +"It would perhaps be not impossible to convince you of that, granted +a little time," said Lord Hurdly. "But, apart from his wish, have you +no consideration for his interest? His position in diplomacy is at +present insignificant, but he has talents and a chance to rise, +unless that chance be utterly frustrated by his embarrassing himself +with a family--a condition that would be death to his career. Ask any +one you choose, and they will tell you that there cannot be two +opinions about this. Besides, through my help he has been able to +live like a man of fortune. His allowance, however, will be stopped +on the day of his marriage, if he persists in such a course. If he +abandons it, he will find himself with the principal as well as the +interest at his disposal. So situated, he has every chance to rise. +Under the other conditions, he inevitably falls. What would become of +him ultimately is too dreary a line of conjecture to dwell upon." + +Bettina's face was paler still. The tears sprang to her eyes--tears +of mortification and keen regret. The thought of her mother pierced +through her, and the consciousness that she had no longer the refuge +of that gentle heart to cast herself upon almost overcame her. Pride +lent her aid, however, and she rallied quickly. + +"You have fully demonstrated to me," she said, "that I have injured +your cousin in promising to marry him. I did it in ignorance, +however. With the facts before me which you have just given, I should +perhaps have acted differently. Regret now, however, is useless." + +"On the contrary, this is one of the rare cases in which regret is +not useless. The reparation of your mistake is in your own hands." + +The possibility of doing what he urged flashed through Bettina's +mind. Horace would certainly be infinitely better off without her, in +every rational and material sense; and at this stage of Bettina's +development the rational and material were predominant. But what of +her, apart from Horace? This thought found vent in words. + +"You have been looking at this subject from your own point of view," +she said, "and perhaps naturally. I must, however, think of an aspect +of the case in which you have no interest. I am absolutely alone in +the world, and if, for your cousin's sake, I made this sacrifice--" + +In spite of herself her voice faltered. + +Lord Hurdly drew his chair a little nearer to her. His eyes were +fixed upon her with a yet more intent gaze as he said, with +directness and decision: + +"You are quite mistaken. It is this aspect of the case which concerns +me chiefly. If, as is undoubtedly true, the prevention of this most +mistaken marriage would be an advantage to Horace, to you it may be a +far greater gain, and to me it may be the fulfilment of all that I +have ever desired in life." + +"What do you mean?" she said, bewildered. + +"I mean that the supreme desire of my heart is, and has been from the +moment my eyes rested on you, to make you Lady Hurdly absolutely and +at once, instead of your waiting for a name and position which, after +all, may never come to you." + +Her heart beat so that her breathing came in smothered gasps. The +piercing demand of his eyes was almost terrifying to her. She saw +that he was absolutely in earnest, and the commiseration which she +felt for Horace struggled with the dazzling temptation which this +opportunity offered to that strong ambition which was so great an +element in her essential nature. + +"Do not be shocked or startled by the suddenness of my proposal," he +said. "I trust that you will come to see that it is eminently wise +and reasonable. When I said the marriage was an unsuitable one, I was +thinking more of you than of Horace. Your beauty, your manner, your +voice, your words, your whole ego and personality, show you to have +been born for a great position. It is a case of manifest destiny. The +fortune and the social rank that I can bestow are all too little for +you; I should like to be able to put a queen's crown on your +beautiful head. But such as I am--a man who has made his impression +on the current history of his country, and who, though no longer +young in the crude sense that counts only by months and years, is +still by no means old--and such things as I have and can command, I +lay at your feet, begging you humbly to impart to them a value which +they have never had before, by accepting them and becoming the sharer +of my name, my position, and my fortune, and the mistress of my +heart." + +He had risen and was standing in front of her with the resolution of +a strong purpose in his eyes. But she could not meet them, those +dominating, searching eyes. The thoughts that his words had given +rise to were too agitating, too uncertain, too tormenting to her. The +thought of giving Horace up pained her more than she would have +believed, while the vision of the grandeur so urged upon her, which +not ten minutes gone she had seen dashed like a full beaker from her +thirsty lips, tormented her as well. It was to her a vast sacrifice +to think of resigning such possibilities, yet at the first she had no +other thought but to resign them. The arguments for Horace's future +career which had been urged upon her also played their part in her +consciousness now, and the seething confusion of images in her brain +made her senses swim. + +Lord Hurdly must have seen her agitation, for he hastened to say: + +"I have been too hasty. You must forgive me. Do not try to answer me +at present. I see that you are overwrought. Let me beseech you to +rest a little while. I will send for the housekeeper." + +"No, no! I must go," she answered, starting to her feet. But she had +overestimated her strength. She sank back in her chair. + +He went himself and brought her a glass of wine, talking to her with +a soothing reassurance as she drank it. He reproached himself for +having been too hurried, too rash, but pleaded the earnestness of his +hopes as an excuse. When she had taken the wine she wanted to go, but +he entreated her so humbly not to punish him too deeply for his fault +that when he begged her to let him call the housekeeper to sit with +her until luncheon, which he implored her to take before leaving, she +acquiesced, too fagged out mentally to take any decided position of +her own. + +To the housekeeper Lord Hurdly explained that this lady was in deep +trouble--a fact sufficiently attested by her heavy mourning--and +would like to rest awhile before eating some luncheon. Bettina saw +herself regarded with a respectful awe which she had never had a +taste of before. The housekeeper, with the sweetest of voices and +kindest of manners, promised to do all in her power, and Lord Hurdly +withdrew. + +[Illustration: "SHE SANK BACK IN HER CHAIR"] + +Bettina could not talk. She lay back on the lounge and submitted to +be gently fanned and having salts occasionally held to her nose. But +all her effort was to compose her thoughts--a difficult attempt, as +the image of her mother was the one which insisted on taking the +pre-eminence in her mind. She ordered it down, with a sort of +bitterness. Had her mother been alive, she would have gladly fled +from this puzzle into which her life had tangled itself, and gone +back to America to rest and mother-love. So she told herself, at +least. But then followed the reflection that in her mother's death +the refuge of love's calm and protection was gone from her forever, +and that she must either remain in Europe under one or the other of +the two conditions offered her, or else resign herself to the apathy +of despair. + +It was not in her to do this, and the brilliant possibilities which +Lord Hurdly had suggested flashed into her mind, and so excited her +that she suddenly rose to her feet and announced that her slight +indisposition was past, asking the housekeeper to take her somewhere +to rearrange her hair and prepare herself for luncheon. + +Even had Bettina been the possessor of a happy heart which rejoiced +in a fulfilled and contented love for the man she had promised to +marry, the other, dominating side of her nature could not have been +quite stifled as she walked through the halls and corridors of this +magnificent mansion. These were things her imagination had always +pictured as her proper position in life, and which the unregenerate +heart within her had always craved. But how far beyond her ignorant +dreams was the grand repose of this beautiful house! It was so much +more than she had conceived that the new supply to her senses seemed, +in a way, to create a new demand in them. + +Never, perhaps, had she so appreciated what it must be to be a +_grande dame_ as to-day, when she was on the point of refusing such +an opportunity, though it was just within her grasp. For she had no +idea but that she should refuse it, and this very consciousness made +her more friendly in her feelings and actions toward Lord Hurdly than +she would otherwise have been. + +When she had adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair, before large +mirrors which gave her a better view of her loveliness than she had +ever had before, a servant summoned her to luncheon, and at the foot +of the stairs she saw Lord Hurdly awaiting her. + +So seen, a decided baldness, which she had not much noticed before, +became evident, but there was a certain distinction in the man's +general air which this rather seemed to heighten. His manner of +delicate solicitude for her was the perfection of good-breeding, and +when she answered him reassuringly, and walked by his side to the +dining-room, a sudden conviction seized her that she had come into +her own--that this was the position for which she had been born, and +that, independent of the fact that she had determined to decline it, +it was her fate, which she could not escape. She tried to coax the +belief that it was as Horace's wife that she would one day enjoy all +these delights, but the thought eluded her. She could not see Horace +in the seat now filled by his cousin. In imagination as well as in +reality it was Lord Hurdly who occupied that seat. + +This conviction, which every moment deepened, she could not shake off +and could not account for. She had a feeling that it was forced upon +her consciousness through some dominating power of Lord Hurdly's +spirit over her own. She felt as if she were hypnotized. She wondered +if it could be so, and if she would presently come to herself and +find that it was all a delusion and she had never seen Lord Hurdly or +his house, but was on her way to St. Petersburg to join Horace and +settle down to a limited and economical way of living. + +At this thought her heart fell. She had laid her hand upon this +dazzling prize of worldly wealth and position. Could she let it go? + +During luncheon no reference was made to the subject of their late +conversation. The servants remained in the room, and Lord Hurdly +talked of public and quite impersonal affairs. In so doing he showed +a trenchant insight, a broad knowledge of the world, an undeniably +powerful mentality, and a decided skill in the art of pleasing. If +the tone of his talk was cynical, it found, for that very reason, all +the clearer echo in Bettina's heart. A certain tendency to cynicism +was inborn in her, and the bitterness she felt at the loss of her +mother had accentuated this. What was the use of loving, she asked +herself, when love must end like this? In her heart she passionately +hoped that she might never love again. And she had also a shrinking +from being loved in any ardent manner that might make demands upon +her which she could not respond to. + +When the time came for Bettina to leave, she found that the cab in +which she had come had been sent away, and, in its place, Lord +Hurdly's brougham waited for her. He escorted her himself to the +carriage door, and when the great footman who held it open touched +his hat in silence as he took her orders, and then mounted beside his +twin brother on the box and she was bowled away, on padded cushions +from which emanated a delicious odor of fine leather, Bettina felt +that, for the first time in her life, she was in her proper element. + +The events of the morning seemed to her like some agitating dream. +She wondered how long it had been since she left her hotel, and tried +to guess what time it was. As she did so, her eyes fell on the small +clock, neatly encased in the leather upholstering of the carriage +just in front of her. The fitness of this object and of everything +about her gave her a delicious sense of adaptation to her environment +which she had never had before. + +When she got out at her hotel, the footman, with the same salute of +ineffable respect, said that his lordship had told him to ask if she +had any further orders for the carriage to-day or to-morrow. She +declined the offer, but, none the less, she felt flattered by the +attention. + +Lord Hurdly's only further reference to their last conversation had +been to ask her to pay his words the respect of a few days' +consideration at least. He had learned from her that Horace was +unaware of her being in England, and that she had a whole week at her +disposal before he would expect to meet her there. When he asked for +a part of that week, in which to give him the opportunity to prove to +her that her duty to Horace, as well as to herself, demanded the +rupture of this mistaken engagement, she was sufficiently influenced +by the subtlety of this appeal to grant his request. + +To her surprise, several days went by, and he did not come to see her +nor write. Every morning the carriage was sent to the hotel and the +footman came to her door for orders, but she always answered that she +did not require it. Every morning, also, came a lavish offering of +flowers, the great exotic flowers which Bettina loved--huge, +heavy-petalled roses and green translucent-looking orchids. But, +except for these, he did not thrust himself upon her notice--a fact +which during the first and second days she gave him the greatest +credit for, but by the third had grown to feel a certain resentment +at. + +In the mean time there had followed her from home a letter from +Horace. It was the coldest she had ever had from him, and set her to +thinking deeply as to the possible cause of his coldness. Could it +be, she asked herself, that Lord Hurdly was right in calling him +capricious? Had he--as was possible, of course--cooled in his ardor +for her, and come to see that this hasty engagement of his had been a +great mistake, as she herself had come to see? + +For this point, at least, Bettina had positively reached. Why, +therefore, should she adhere to her engagement in the face of the +knowledge that such an adherence would be to his disadvantage, no +less than to hers? + +These arguments would have quite prevailed with her but for one +thing. This was the conviction, not yet changed, though somewhat +shaken by Lord Hurdly's account of him, that Horace really loved her +and would suffer in losing her. + +Deprived of the restraint of her mother's influence, Bettina had +progressed with rapidity in her way toward worldliness and selfish +ambition, but she had a heart. Her love for her mother had given +abundant proof of that, if there were nothing else; and now her heart +combated the influence of her head, which decreed that only a fool +would reject the great good fortune now held out to her. + +In point of fact, Bettina had been influenced more by ambition than +by love in engaging herself to Horace, and the gratification of a far +more splendid ambition was offered to her in making this other +marriage. In it, also, love would play but little part, and this she +felt to be decidedly a gain. Yet she was not so far lost to the +sentiments of kindness and loyalty, that she had learned from the +teaching and example of her mother, as not to hesitate before +wounding and humiliating the man who, as she still believed, loved +her devotedly. Could it have been proved that she was mistaken in so +believing, Lord Hurdly's case would have been already won. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +In the end Lord Hurdly prevailed, and that end was swifter in coming +than Bettina would have believed to be possible. She had allowed +herself a week to wait in London, and for the first day or two of +that week she lived in dread lest Lord Hurdly should come to her and +renew the arguments which she was quite determined to combat. As the +days passed and he did not come, she began to fear that the +opportunity of final decision on the momentous question of her choice +between these two men would not again be offered her. Her better +nature still held her to her pledge to Horace, but already she had +come to feel that, but for his disappointment at losing her, she +would have accepted Lord Hurdly's proposal, as it offered a full and +immediate fulfilment of her dreams of ambition, and the other +postponed these indefinitely, while it promised comparatively little +in any other direction. + +Toward the end of the week Lord Hurdly called, and, without any +reference to his own hopes and intentions, spoke, with what seemed to +be a considerable hesitation and regret, of his young cousin's +character and mode of life, which he declared were known, to every +one except Bettina, to be exceedingly capricious--even light. He +dwelt upon the fact, well known to Bettina, of his earnest desire +that his cousin and heir should marry, and gave as a reason for this +desire, what he declared to be the accepted fact, that Horace was +inclined to a dissipated manner of living, which he hoped marriage +might correct. + +Poor Bettina! She had believed the young man, to whom she had pledged +herself, to be the very opposite of all this. Yet how absolutely +ignorant concerning him she really was! And the rector of her church, +who was supposed to vouch for him, knew in reality as little as she. +How easily she might have been mistaken in him! And yet, and yet, +there was a still, small voice in her heart which confirmed her in +her resolve to believe in him until she had proof that such a belief +was ill founded. + +"With his past I have nothing to do," she said to Lord Hurdly, with a +certain show of pride. "If it has been lower than my ideal of him, I +regret it; but I am entirely sure that since he has known me and had +my promise to be his wife he has been true to all that that promise +required of him." + +"This being your conclusion," Lord Hurdly answered, "you force upon +me the necessity of showing you a letter which I have to-day received +from a friend in St. Petersburg, and which I would, without strong +reason to the contrary, have gladly spared you the pain of reading." +With these words, he handed Bettina a letter. + +It was signed with a name unknown to her, but written evidently in +the tone and manner of an intimate friend. The first page or two +referred to matters wholly indifferent to her--public affairs and the +like--but toward the end were these words: + + "Are you as set as ever in your determination not to marry? + Pity it is that such a noble name and fortune as yours + should not pass on to a son of your own, instead of to one + who, it is to be feared, will do little to honor it. I see + him here, at court and everywhere, accurately fulfilling + the rather unflattering predictions which I long ago made + concerning him. There is a story that he became engaged to + be married during his travels in America, and I hear that he + owns up to it and speaks of being joined by his _fiancee_ + and married on this side. I hope it may not be so. Certainly + his present manner of living argues against the rumor, + unless--a supposition I am reluctant to believe--he proposes + to keep up, as a married man, the habits which are so + readily forgiven to a bachelor, though not to a husband." + +There was more, but Bettina read no further. This was enough. She had +turned away to a window, that she might read this letter unobserved +by Lord Hurdly, who had considerately walked to the other end of the +room. + +When at last she approached him and gave him back the letter, she was +very pale, but her manner was wholly without indecision and her voice +was resolute as she said: + +"I thank you, Lord Hurdly, for the service which you have rendered +me. This letter has made my future course quite clear. I shall write +to your cousin to-day that everything is at an end between us. And +now will you be good enough to leave me? I wish to make my +arrangements to return to America at once." + +Even as she said the words, the bitter barrenness of this +prospect--the old dull life, without the dear presence which had been +its one and sufficient palliation--rose before her mind and appalled +her. Perhaps Lord Hurdly saw in her face some change of expression +which he construed as favorable to himself, for he hastened to say: + +"Will you not, before taking so rash a step, consider the proposal +which I have made to you? I can offer you the substance of which the +other was only the shadow, and I can pledge to you the stable and +unalterable devotion of a man who has lived long enough to know his +own mind, and who declares to you that you are the only woman whom he +has ever desired to put in the position of his wife." + +It was impossible not to feel some consciousness of satisfaction at a +tribute which her own knowledge of facts convinced her to be sincere, +but Bettina's heart and mind were still too preoccupied to meet him +in the way he wished. She repeated her request that he would leave +her, and so earnest and distressed was her manner that he complied, +leaving behind him an impression of the deepest solicitude for her, +and the most earnest desire on his part to atone for the wrong which +his kinsman had done her. + +Bettina threw herself upon the lounge and abandoned herself to a fit +of weeping--so overwhelming, so despairing, so heart-breaking that +she could scarcely believe that she, who had thought that all her +power of deep suffering had been exhausted, could still find it in +her to care so much for any other grief. + +The worst of it was that, now it was quite evident that she was +forever divided from Horace, the charm of his manner and appearance, +the tenderness of his love-making, came back to her with a power +which they had never exercised upon her in reality. Never, surely, +had a man existed who was, to appearance at least, more frank, +sincere, ardent, and deeply in love than he had seemed to be with +her. It made his perfidy appear the greater. Nothing but the sight of +that letter could have made her believe it; but that, taken in +connection with the rareness and coolness of his recent letters to +her, made it all too plain that the ardent flame of his love had +burned out, and that he had repented his impetuosity, now that he had +had time to think of the sacrifice which it entailed. + +This was indeed great for a man in his position, ambitious in his +career, and with his foot already on the ladder that led to success. +She even began to doubt whether he would have fulfilled his +obligations to her when it came to the point. + +She got out his letters and read them over. How passionately loving +were the early ones--how cool and constrained the more recent! The +contrast struck her far more now in the light of recent events. It +really seemed as if he might be trying to get out of the engagement. + +At this thought pride came to her rescue. She felt herself grow hard +and cold, and her composure returned completely. She would never let +him know what she had heard, for that might make it seem as if she +gave him up from compulsion. She sat down and wrote quickly a few +formal sentences, saying that she had mistaken her own feelings, and +that she wished to break the engagement. She added that she was +returning immediately to America, as indeed she was intending to do +at the time of the writing of this letter. + +After it had gone, and was on its way to St. Petersburg, a mental +condition of such abject misery settled down upon her that the +thought of the endless days and nights of idle monotony which would +be her lot if she returned home, and the awful void of her mother's +absence, became intolerable. She could not do it. She must find some +way of escape from such a fate. + +Just as she was casting about for such a way, Lord Hurdly came to +see her. The escape which he offered had in it many elements of the +strongest attractiveness for her. Since she could not be happy, as +she believed, why might she not get from life the satisfaction which +comes from the holding of a great position, the opportunity of being +admired and wielding a powerful influence? It was a prospect which +had always charmed her; and now, with no alternative but lonely +isolation and bitter weariness, was it strange that she decided to +accept Lord Hurdly's offer? + +And if it was to be, what need was there to wait? Wounded in her +pride as she was by the revelation of Horace which she had received, +she relished the idea of becoming at once what he had proposed to +make her--and afterward repented of. She was fully convinced in her +mind that he had repented, and her blood beat faster as she thought +of his consternation on hearing of this marriage. She felt eager that +he should hear of it at once. + +And so indeed he did. On the heels of his receipt of Bettina's letter +her marriage to Lord Hurdly was announced by cable--not to him, but +through the newspapers. + +Then into his heart there entered also the exceeding bitterness of a +lost ideal. She became to him, as he had become to her, the image of +broken faith, capricious feeling, and overweening worldly ambition. + +Yet in the heart of the man, who had loved completely and supremely, +as Bettina never had, there was a feeling which made him say to +himself, with a conviction which he knew to be immutable, that +marriage was not for him. The present Lord Hurdly had said the same, +and had changed his mind. For himself he knew that he should not, for +all of love that he was capable of feeling had been given to the +woman who had cast him off. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Bettina had gone through her first London season as Lady Hurdly, and +certainly no girl's ambitious dreams could have forecast a more +brilliant experience. She had been far too ignorant to imagine such +subtle delights of the senses as resulted from the wealth and +eminence which she had attained to in marrying Lord Hurdly. And +beyond the mere sensuous appeal which was made to her by the wearing +of magnificent clothes and jewels, and the being always surrounded +with objects of beauty and means of luxury, she had the greater +delight of having her feverishly active mind continually supplied +with a stimulus, which it now more than ever needed. This was +furnished by the innumerable social demands made upon her, and the +complete power which she felt within herself to respond to them not +only creditably, but in a way that should make even Lord Hurdly +wonder at her. + +True, she had had no social training, and in a less powerful position +she might have shown her ignorance and incapacity, for she would then +have had to take a personal supervision of the things which she now +left utterly alone, and which, being essential to be done, were +done--how and by whom she did not ask. Lord Hurdly had so long done +the honors of his house without a wife that it was natural to him to +continue the direction of household affairs, with the aid of the +accomplished assistants who were in his employment; so Bettina had no +more to do with such matters than if she had become the mistress of a +royal household. At the proper time she showed herself at Lord +Hurdly's side, and she had beauty enough and wit enough not only to +do credit to that high position, but to cast a glory over it which he +knew in his heart no other Lady Hurdly of them all had ever done. + +That she enjoyed it, who could doubt that saw her, day after day and +evening after evening, beautifying with her presence the social +gatherings at her own splendid house, and at those of the new +acquaintances who sought her society and distinguished her with their +attentions wherever she might go. + +Having had no experience of wealth, it never seemed to occur to her +that it could have its definite limit, and she ordered costumes and +invented ways of spending money which sometimes surprised her lord, +but which also pleased him. His fortune was so large, and had been so +long without such demands upon it, that it was a source of genuine +satisfaction to him to see that Bettina knew how to avail herself of +her brilliant opportunity. Save and except a wife, he was already +possessed of every adjunct that could do credit to his name and +position, and in marrying Bettina he had been largely influenced by +the fact that she was qualified to supply this one deficiency with a +distinction which no other woman he had ever seen could have bestowed +upon the position. + +So, to the world, Bettina seemed completely satisfied, and in the +worldly sense she was so. In this sense, also, Lord Hurdly seemed and +was satisfied in his marriage. How it was with them in their hearts +no one knew, and perhaps there was no one who cared to know. The one +being to whom this question was of strong interest was very far away. +He had shifted his position from Russia to India about the time of +his cousin's marriage, and Bettina never heard his name mentioned, +nor did she ever utter it. + +After the London season was over, Lord and Lady Hurdly had moved +from their town-house to the family seat, Kingdon Hall. Here, after +a day's stop, Lord Hurdly had left her, to return to town on some +public business; and so, for the first time since her marriage, she +had a few days to herself. Later they were to have the house filled +with guests, and after that to make some visits; so this time of +solitude was not likely to be repeated soon. Bettina was surprised +at herself to see how eagerly she clutched at it. It was, in some +faint degree, like the feeling which she had had after the rare and +short separations from her mother--a longing to get back to the +familiar and the accustomed. She now felt somewhat the same longing +to get back to herself. She had done her part in all that brilliant +pageant like a woman in a dream. She had enjoyed it, for power and +admiration were very dear to her, and she had revelled in their fresh +first-fruits. But she had not been herself for so long, had not for +so long looked herself in the face and searched her own heart, that +she did not know herself much more familiarly than she knew the other +brilliant personages who moved beside her across the crowded stage of +London life. + +It was unaccountable even to herself how she rejoiced at the idea of +these few days of quiet and solitude. Nora, her old nurse, was of +course with her still, with a French maid to assist her and perform +the important functions of the toilet of which the elderly woman was +ignorant. This maid Bettina sent off on a holiday, so that she might +have only Nora about her. + +The morning after her arrival at Kingdon, Bettina, having breakfasted +in her room, went for a ramble over the house. It seemed solemnly +vast and empty, and she would have lost herself many times had she +not encountered now and then a courtesying house-maid or an +obsequious footman, who answered her inquiries and told her into what +apartments she had strayed. + +"Show me the way to the picture-gallery," she said to one of these, +"and then tell the housekeeper to come to me there presently." + +She had taken a fancy to this white-haired old woman the night +before, when Lord Hurdly had presented the servants to their new +mistress in the great hall, where they had all been assembled to +receive her on her arrival. + +In a few moments she found herself alone in the stately gallery, +going from picture to picture. On one side was a long line of the +ladies of Kingdon Hall, painted by contemporary artists, each +celebrated in his era. At the end of this line her own portrait, done +by a celebrated French painter who had come to London for the +purpose, had recently been put in place. + +It was a magnificent thing in its manner as well as in its subject, +and the costume which Lord Hurdly's taste had conceived for her and a +French milliner had carried out was a marvel of rich effects. As she +paused in front of it her lips parted, and she said, whispering to +herself, + +"Lady Hurdly--the present Lady Hurdly! And what has become of +Bettina?" + +As she asked herself this question she sighed. + +A sudden instinct made her move away. She wanted to escape from Lady +Hurdly. She had a chance to be herself to-day, and she felt a strong +desire to make the most of it. + +Hearing a sound at her side, she turned and found the serious, +pleasant face of the housekeeper near her. + +"Good-morning, my lady," she said, gently, in answer to Bettina's +friendly salutation. "Will your ladyship not have a shawl? This room +is always cool, no matter what the weather is." + +Bettina declined the wrap, but passed on to the next picture, +requesting the woman to come with her and act as cicerone. + +"What is your name? I ought to know it," she said. + +"Parlett, your ladyship." + +"And how long have you lived here, Parlett?" + +"Over forty years, my lady. I was here in the old lord's time. That +is his picture, with his lady next to him." + +Bettina looked with interest at the two pictures designated. + +"He is thought to be very much like his present lordship," said the +housekeeper. + +"Yes, I see it," said Bettina, feeling an instinct to guard her +countenance. Here were the same keen eyes, the same resolute jaw, the +same thin lips and hard lines about the mouth. Only in the older face +they were yet more accentuated, and instead of the not unbecoming +thinness of hair which showed in the son, there was a frank expanse +of bald head which made his features all the harder. + +Hurrying away from the contemplation of this portrait, Bettina turned +to its companion. Here she encountered a face and form which were +truly all womanly, if by womanliness is meant abject submission and +self-effacement. The poor little lady looked patiently hopeless, and +her deprecating air seemed the last in the world calculated to hold +its own against such a lord. That she had not done so--of her own +full surrender of herself, in mind and soul and body--the picture +seemed a plain representation. + +"Poor woman! She looks as if she had suffered," said Bettina. + +"Oh yes, my lady," Parlett answered, as if divided between the +inclination to talk and the duty to be silent. + +"She was unhappy, then?" said Bettina. "You need not hesitate to +answer. His lordship has told me what a trusted servant of the family +you are, and I shall treat you as such. You need not fear to speak to +me quite freely." + +"Yes, my lady, she had a great deal of sadness in her life," went on +the housekeeper, thus encouraged. "She had six daughters before she +had a son, and this was naturally a disappointment to his lordship. +One after the other these children died, which grieved her ladyship +sorely, for she was a very devoted mother. His lordship had never +noticed them much, being angry at not having an heir, and this made +my lady all the fonder of them. She had little constitution herself, +and the children were sickly. At last, however, an heir was born, but +her ladyship died at his birth. It seemed a pity, my lady, did it +not? For his lordship was greatly pleased with the heir, and, of +course, my lady would have been much happier after that." + +Bettina did not answer. The evident reasonableness of the father's +position, in the eyes of this good and gentle woman, made it +impossible for her to speak without dissent to such an atrocity as +Lord Hurdly's attitude seemed to her. So she moved away, and the +woman took the hint and said no more. + +A little distance off, at the end of the long room, she had caught +sight of an object that made her heart beat suddenly. She did no more +than glance at it, and then returned to the contemplation of the +picture before which she was standing. But she had recognized Horace +Spotswood in the tall stripling of perhaps fifteen who stood in +riding-clothes at the side of a pawing gray horse. + +By the time she had made her way to it, in its regular succession, +she had quite recovered her calmness and had made up her mind as to +her course. + +"And who is this handsome boy?" she said, with perfect +self-possession, as they stood before the large canvas. + +[Illustration: "'AND WHO IS THIS HANDSOME BOY?'"] + +"That is Mr. Horace, my lady," said the woman, a sudden tone of +emotion mingling with the deference in her voice as her eyes dwelt +on the picture fondly. + +And who could wonder at this? Surely a more winsome lad had never +been seen. He was even then tall, and in his riding coat and breeches +looked strangely slender, in contrast to the broad-shouldered +physique which she had lately known so well. But the eyes were just +the same--direct, frank, eager eyes, which looked straight at you and +seemed to make a demand upon you to be as open and frank in return. + +Had Bettina searched the world, she could not, as she knew, have +found a more significant contrast than the comparison of the honest +eyes with the guarded, cold, inscrutable ones into which it was now +her lot to look so often. + +"Have you known him a long time?" she asked, pleasantly, as the woman +remained silent. + +"Oh, since he was a little lad, my lady! We all love Mr. Horace here. +He is the handsomest and kindest young gentleman in the world, and +he's that good to me that I couldn't be fonder of my own son, not +forgetting the difference, my lady." + +Bettina detected a tone of regretfulness in the woman's voice, and +also, she thought, an effort to conceal it. If there was a feeling +akin to this regret in her own heart, she also must conceal it. These +allusions to the handsome, enthusiastic young fellow to whom she had +promised herself in marriage had stirred her deeply. The idea of any +one, servant or equal, speaking in this way of the man who was her +husband, at any time in his life, gave her a nervous desire to laugh. +It was followed by an equally nervous impulse to cry. + +Walking ahead of the housekeeper, she gained a moment's opportunity +for the recovery of her self-control, and she made good use of it. + +"Parlett," she said, presently, "I do not want you to think that in +marrying Lord Hurdly I have done an injury to Mr. Spotswood." In +spite of herself, her voice shook at the name. + +"Oh no, my lady--" began Parlett, but her mistress interrupted her, +saying, quickly: + +"Of course he always knew that his lordship might marry, and could +not have been unprepared for such a possibility; but in order that he +might feel no difference in his present position on that account, +Lord Hurdly has settled on him what is really a handsome fortune--not +only the income of it, but the principal also. I tell you this that +you may understand that he is none the worse off, so far as money +goes, through his cousin's marriage to me." + +"Yes, my lady. I understand, my lady. Thank you for telling me," said +Parlett, somewhat nervously. "Of course every one knows that you have +done him no harm, my lady, and we knew, of course, that his lordship +would do the handsome thing by him." + +Somehow these civil, reassuring words smote painfully upon Bettina's +consciousness. When this woman spoke so confidently of Lord Hurdly's +doing the handsome thing by his former heir, she felt it to be the +hollow tribute of a conventional loyalty, and the assurance that it +was understood that she herself had done him no harm grated on her +also. Now that she was quite alone and free to think things out, as +she had shrunk from doing heretofore, and as, in the rush of the +London season, she had been able to avoid doing, she felt a sense of +compunction toward Horace that seriously depressed her. + +Dismissing the housekeeper, she put on a shade-hat and went for a +ramble in the park. How beautiful it was! What shrubs, what trees, +what undulations of rich emerald turf! She could not in the least +feel that she had any right in it all. But how must a creature love +it who had looked upon its noble beauties from childhood up to +youth, and on to manhood, with the belief that it would some day be +his own! She could not stifle the feeling that she had wronged that +being if by her marriage she should be the means of depriving him of +such a fortune and position, and deep, deep down in her consciousness +she had a boding fear that, if all things hidden could be revealed, +it might be shown that in a keener sense than this she had also +wronged him. + +For marriage had been in many ways an illumination to Bettina. The +revelation of her own heart which it had given her was one which she +tried hard to shut her eyes to. Twice she had consented to the idea +of marrying without love. Once she had actually done this thing. Only +her own heart knew what had been the consequences to her. But of one +thing she had often felt glad. This was that she had not entered into +a loveless marriage with a man who had loved her as she had believed +Horace did at the time he had so ardently wooed her. From such a +wrong as that might she be delivered! + +As her thoughts now dwelt on Horace and the circumstances of their +brief past together, the memory of his honest, tender, self-forgetful +attitude toward her recurred to her half wistfully, in contrast to +her recent experiences. Lord Hurdly's manner toward her had, in +truth, changed from the very hour of their marriage. He no longer had +the air of a solicitous suitor, but took at once that of the assured +husband and master. It made her think what she had heard of his +father and of his poor little mother's history. Not that she could +fancy herself becoming, under any circumstances, a Griselda; though +she could without difficulty imagine him in his father's _role_. + +But what right had she, she asked herself, to expect to reap where +she had not sown? She had married for money and position, and she had +got them. What more had she expected? + +Nothing more, perhaps; but in one point she had been +disappointed--namely, in the power of these things to give her what +she longed for, and what she could define only under the indefinite +term happiness. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Bettina's talk with Parlett had set her mind to working very actively +in a direction in which she had not allowed it to stray before. The +thought of Horace always brought a sense of pain and spiritual +discomfort to her, which she instinctively desired to shake off; and +in the restless whirl of London life, which left her little time for +thought of any kind, she had not much difficulty in doing so. + +Now, however, she had nothing to do but to think and to become +acquainted with her new possessions, the latter occupation being a +strong stimulus to the former. There were many associations with +Horace at Kingdon Hall. It was extraordinary how many things that he +had told her in connection with this place came back to her. She +was constantly recognizing pictures or persons or names with which +he had made her familiar. The persons were, of course, the servants, +steward, tenants, and the like, for she had seen no others. Even +in walking about the lawn she had found his initials cut on trees, +and the very dogs which joined her when she would go out for her +walks had names on their collars that she knew. There was one, a +magnificent Great Dane, which bore Horace's name there as well as his +own. This dog, Comrade, she had heard Horace speak of with a special +affection. + +True, Kingdon Hall had never been Horace's home, but he had grown up +with the idea that it might be, and since coming to manhood had felt +wellnigh secure that it would be. All his life he had been in the +habit of making visits here, and the impression which he had left +behind him was almost surprising to Bettina. + +The place in which this impression was strongest was in the hearts of +the servants. Bettina, through Nora, had assured herself of this. The +devoted servant, who had the sole object in life of serving her +beloved mistress, had, by Bettina's orders, informed herself on this +point, and all that she gathered in the servants' hall she retailed +to Bettina in her room. Nora, like every one else, had been won by +Horace's manner and appearance, but, of course, when her mistress had +drawn off from him, she had no idea of anything but acceptance of the +changed conditions. Still, she was inwardly delighted when Bettina +explained to her how anxious she was to learn all that she could +about Mr. Horace, so that she might lose no opportunity of furthering +his interest with Lord Hurdly, and making up to him, as far as +possible, for having disappointed him in his worldly prospects by +marrying his cousin. + +That he could hold her accountable for any other wrong to him she did +not admit. At times the memory of his fresh and buoyant youth, in so +great contrast to the jaded maturity of his cousin, knocked at the +door of her heart, and the ardent expressions of his worshipping, +passionate love for her echoed there with a distinctness that amazed +her. + +Surely he had loved her--this she could not doubt. But if his love +had been so slight that a few months of absence had cooled it, and of +so poor a quality that a new caprice had taken its place so soon, she +was well rid of it. That this had been so the letter which Lord +Hurdly had shown her sufficiently attested, and she must guard +herself against the folly of sentimental regrets. + +It was not Horace that she regretted. It was only the ideal of the +love between man and woman which her brief intercourse with him had +held up to her. She had seen love in a different guise since +then--or what went by the name of love--and surely the contrast must +have had a deeper root than the mere difference between youth and +middle-age. + +It was not often that Bettina allowed herself to think of these +things. But now, in her solitude and idleness, visions would come of +the eager lover, strong as a young Narcissus, who represented love in +such a simple, wholesome guise--or at least so it had seemed to be. +Then she would shake off the image, and tell herself it was but +seeming, as the result had proved, and so she would accuse herself of +weakness and sentimentality. These thoughts were getting to be +inconvenient. They haunted her too persistently, and at last she +began to wish for the time to come when her days would again be too +crowded with engagements for her to indulge in such foolish +reflections. + +The truth was, deep down in Bettina's heart there was a fear which +she could not wholly still in any waking hour. She could and did +refuse to recognize it, even in her own soul; but there it was, and +there it remained, to rise again and again, and almost stifle her +with the sinister possibility which it suggested. + +This fear was based upon the clearer knowledge of Lord Hurdly's +character which had come to her since marriage. She had found in him +an inexorable resolution to have what he wanted in life, which had +rendered him, more than once within her knowledge, unscrupulous as to +the means he used in the securing of his ends. This it was which had +planted in her mind the awful though remote possibility of his having +been, in some manner, insincere in his representations of Horace's +nature and character. + +But then there was the letter from his friend which she had seen with +her own eyes, with the St. Petersburg mark, so familiar to her, on +the envelope, and which had been written by a person who could not +have known that she would ever see it. Surely that was enough to +settle all doubts as to the character and conduct of the man to whom +she had first pledged herself in marriage, and she had at least the +satisfaction of knowing that her present husband could be charged +with no such faults. His indifference to her sex was proverbial in +society, and that she alone, of all the women he had seen--so many of +whom had angled for him openly--had been able to do away with his +aversion to marriage was a tribute in which she could not help +feeling a certain pride, the more so as she saw every day new proofs +of his fastidiousness, as well as his importance. + +So she stifled this dread suggestion and forced her thoughts into +other channels. This was to be more easily accomplished when her body +was actively employed; so she took long rides on horseback, attended +by a groom, or long walks in the park alone. In these walks Horace's +big dog Comrade would often join her. The creature had taken a fancy +to her, which seemed, in some strange way, to comfort her. + +Besides these diversions, she had her large correspondence to dispose +of every day; for in her important position she had of course +established numberless points of contact with the world. + +So the time went by until Lord Hurdly's return, and the day that +followed saw Kingdon Hall filled with guests. After that there were +few moments of reflection for its mistress, as the duty of doing the +honors of this great establishment demanded all her time. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +Bettina loved this power and importance. The drama of her present +life was like the unfolding, before her gaze, of a beautiful series +of pictures which she had conceived in her imagination, and which +some enchanter's word had turned into reality. The crowded functions +of the London season had somewhat palled upon her, though she had not +quite owned it to herself; but here she was the centre of the system, +the light around which these lesser lights revolved, and she seemed, +under these conditions, to shine with an increased radiance. Her +manners, where they differed from those of the women about her, +seemed to gain rather than lose by the contrast, and her costumes +seemed to be endless in their variety as well as in their beauty. +Certainly she had an air of being born to the purple, and her +husband's pride in her was undoubted, if unexpressed. + +Bettina was aware that this pride was his strongest feeling in +regard to her, and she was abundantly willing to have it so. If she +had found it difficult to fall in love with a youth who might have +disturbed the heart of Diana, she was not likely to have fallen in +love with the cool, cynical, narrow-chested, thin-haired man whom she +could yet feel a certain pride in owning as her husband, since his +appearance, no less than his name, was distinguished. She had always +had a theory that she would never love deeply any one besides her +mother, and her two experiences in the lottery of marriage, so +different as they were, convinced her that her knowledge of herself +had been correct. She was glad of it. The hot anguish which at times +even yet contracted her heart at the thought of her mother made her +hope devoutly that she would never love again. The joy of it could +not be worth the pain. + +When Lady Hurdly's house-party broke up, she went with her husband on +a round of visits to other country-houses. This phase of society she +liked, and she threw herself into it with ardor. But toward the end +she wearied of these visits, as she had wearied of London, and was +glad to get back to Kingdon Hall. Instead of rest, however, she found +restlessness, and the disturbing thoughts which she had smothered +before came back with added force. It was a relief to her to think of +going abroad--Lord Hurdly having made plans for their spending some +months of the winter on the Continent. + +There was one instinctive fear connected with this plan--the +possibility that she might by some chance encounter Horace. She had +little fear that he would come to England. What would it matter if +she should meet him? He had never been anything to her, really--so +she assured herself--and she had certainly been, in reality, quite as +little to him. Yet she did unreasonably dread such a meeting with +him, and felt anxious to know where he was. + +Accordingly, one morning she asked Parlett, in a casual way, if she +ever heard from Mr. Horace. + +"Oh yes, my lady; he writes to me now and then," replied the +housekeeper. Bettina had not expected to hear this; her only thought +was to draw out some information gained by hearsay. + +"He is at St. Petersburg?" she asked, indifferently. + +"No, my lady; at Simla," was the unexpected answer. "He has been +there a good while. I had a pamphlet from him the other day. When he +has not time to answer my letters, he often sends me a paper, or +something like that, to show me what he has been doing. I can't +always understand them, but he knows I like to have them just because +he wrote them." + +Bettina was unwilling to show her ignorance, so she did not say that +she had no knowledge that he ever wrote for publication, and when +Parlett went on to offer her the reading of the pamphlet she said, +with an indifferent kindness, + +"Yes, bring it to me, by all means. I am very glad that Mr. Horace +keeps up his intercourse with the old place, which of course may yet +be his. I shall take an interest in seeing what he writes." + +She went on to speak of certain changes which she wished made in some +of the sleeping-apartments, and then dismissed her housekeeper with +something less than her usual graciousness of manner. + +Bettina felt a strong desire to be alone. These tidings of Horace, +slight as they were, had been disturbing to her. Indeed, as time +went on and her knowledge of Lord Hurdly increased, the fear that +he might have dealt insincerely with his cousin or with herself grew +steadily. She saw proofs every day of the ruthlessness with which he +sacrificed men, and even what should have been principles, to gain +his ends. By the light of the same knowledge she realized how his +meeting with her had disturbed him in his customary calmness of +poise, and she argued from this fact how important it had been to him +to gain his object of making her his wife. + +In the midst of these reflections a house-maid tapped at her door, +with some folded papers on a tray. + +"If you please, my lady, Mrs. Parlett sends you these," she said. + +She was a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked English girl, with a soft voice +and very pretty manner, and at present she was gently agitated by the +privilege of speaking to her lady, whom she, as well as all the rest +of the maids, regarded as a sort of cross between angel and goddess. + +Bettina thanked her with a kind smile which sent her away completely +happy; then, in the privacy of her own chamber, she opened the +papers. One was a diplomatic pamphlet on a public question in the +line of the writer's professional work. The other was an article +which went very thoroughly into the question of the best means of +relieving the famine then raging in India. + +It seemed to Bettina that she had vaguely heard that there was such a +famine, but she had not felt more than a kindly casual interest in it +as an unfortunate matter which she could not help. Now, however, as +she read the account which this paper gave, and the lines which it +followed in the effort to render help, her heart burned within her. +Here was a man who had no more power than herself to give money +help--far less, indeed, perhaps. Yet how he was spending his soul, +his strength, his time, his talent, his very heart-beats, on this +effort to go to the rescue of these perishing thousands! No one who +read the throbbing sentences of that paper could have a doubt of the +writer's earnest desire to help, or of his ability to move the hearts +and wills of others to come to his aid. It wrought upon her +strangely. + +How much money could she lay her hands on? She had no idea, but she +would make it her business to find out. There was her own little +income, which she had taken no account of since her marriage, and +there was the money which Lord Hurdly had put to her credit in the +bank. She would get all she could and send it--anonymously, of +course--to the famine fund which she had casually heard mentioned. +But, oh, what a pitiful offering it seemed compared with what this +man was giving with such lavish self-devotion! From the fervor of his +printed words, and his report of what had so far been accomplished, +she saw that the very passion of his heart was in it. Of his ardent +temperament, his quick sympathies, she had knowledge in her own +experience. Perhaps it had been these very traits of his which had +led him to the conduct which had separated them. + +At this thought, that faint suspicion that he had been misrepresented +to her rose in her heart again; but she choked it back. That would be +too awful. Besides the hideous self-accusations which would have +followed the admission of this doubt, there was another argument +against it which still had its powerful hold on her. She had grown +accustomed to her great position in the social world, and her inborn +instinct for power and admiration was deliciously gratified by the +brilliancy of her present circumstances. She found it very agreeable +to be Lady Hurdly, with all that that name and title implied, and she +did not, even in this moment of such unwonted emotion, lose sight of +that fact. + +Yet the reading of this little paper had stirred a feeling in +Bettina's heart which she had not felt for so long a time--a +yearning tenderness for some object outside herself: a longing that +her health and strength might avail for others bereft of these +blessings. It was akin to the emotion she had felt by her mother's +dying bed, and as it swept over her she wept as she had not done +since she had knelt beside that sacred spot. + +Instinctively now she fell upon her knees. She tried to pray--but for +what? She could not compose a form of prayer or articulate a definite +wish. All she could do was to pray to God--the God in whom her mother +had trusted--to give her this thing, this unknown boon which He knew +her passionate need of. + +When she rose from her knees she put her hands to her head, and, +pressing her temples hard, looked about her, as if in search of some +object which might help her to the comprehension of her own mood. +Then, running her fingers inside the collar of her dress, she drew +out, by a slight chain, a small locket, which contained her mother's +picture and a lock of her white hair. It was a sort of talisman whose +mere touch gave her a sense of comfort. She did not open it now, but +held it between her palms and pressed her cheek against it, standing +there alone, and presently she whispered: + +"What is it, mother darling? What is it that you seem trying to say +to me? Oh, if you can ever speak to me, speak now, and I will listen +as I did not do when you were here beside me! There is something that +I ought to do, and I am not doing it. There is something I am doing +which distresses you. That is the feeling that I have. Oh, my +mother--my lovely, precious, good, good mother--if I had you here, +you would tell me what it is that I ought to do--and I would do it!" + +She ceased her half-inarticulate whispers, and stood intensely +still--almost, it seemed, as if she waited for an answer to them. + +But there came no answer save the still, small voice within her soul, +which had so often tried to speak before, and which even yet she +could not, would not listen to. + +This voice suggested to her with persistent iteration that she should +even now look strictly into the evidence which had so quickly +sufficed to convince her that the young and ardent lover who had +wooed her so passionately, and promised her such loyalty and faith +and devotion, had been false to his professions and his promises +alike. + +Suppose she should investigate; suppose she should get proof that +she as well as he had been falsely dealt with, that he had been true +in every word and thought--what then? Could she endure to keep, after +that, the position of wife to the man who had so deceived and injured +two beings who had believed him? Assuredly she could not. What, then, +would be her alternative? To leave him and go back to the poor life +at home, which her mother's presence had justified and glorified, but +which without that presence, and with the contrast of her present +position in her mind, would be too intolerable a thought to +contemplate. + +No, she had no sufficient reason to doubt the representations that +her husband had made to her. She would try to accept them more +implicitly for the future, and so fight against such disturbing +ideas. There were ample means of diversion within her reach. Her +sojourn abroad would soon begin, and she must fight against any +recurrence of her present mood of weakness. + +If she was to win this fight, however, there was one precaution which +she felt that she must take. This was to avoid the very name of +Horace Spotswood, and, as far as might be possible, every thought of +him as well. + +Her foreign travels began, and she then had the assurance that this +effort would not be difficult of accomplishment. There were a +thousand new issues for Bettina's interest and feelings in her +constantly changing surroundings, and these were sufficiently +absorbing to do away with lately disturbing considerations. The world +had still its powerful charm for Bettina, and she was now seeing the +world in a very fascinating aspect. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +As Bettina had found the London season delightful, and yet had been +quite content to see it close, and as the same had been true of her +experience, both as hostess and as guest, at the country-house +parties which had followed the season, so it was also with her +foreign travels, although she found much to interest and delight her +in the various cities which she visited with Lord Hurdly. He was +received with distinction everywhere--a fact partly due to his +prominent position in Parliament, and partly to his social importance +and the acknowledged beauty of his wife. + +Bettina enjoyed it, certainly, and found it very helpful to her in +carrying out her resolve to banish the agitating thoughts which would +recur whenever she thought of Horace. She had managed to stop +thinking of him almost entirely, and to live only for the +satisfaction of each day as it passed. + +After a while, however, she began to feel that there was a certain +flatness in the sort of pleasure which consisted so largely in being +an object of admiration, for she had not been able herself to feel +much enthusiasm for the people whom she met. She did not make friends +easily, perhaps because she did not greatly care to have friends. Her +mother's delicate health had left her little time for other +companionships, even if she had desired them, and since the loss of +her mother her heart had seemed to close up, and her capacity for +caring for people, never very great, was lessening every day. + +Several times during her travels she had heard Horace spoken of. +On these occasions she had not betrayed the fact that she had +any knowledge of him, and so the talk about him had been quite +unrestrained. She had heard it said by one man that "he was turning +out a very earnest fellow"; by another that "his pamphlets were +making quite a stir"; and, again, that he "might do something worth +while in diplomacy if he'd let philanthropy alone." Another man had +said that "all he needed was to marry money, and he'd have a great +career before him." + +When Bettina returned from her travels these few remarks, overheard +at dinner-tables or in public places, seemed in some unaccountable +way to be the most important things she had secured out of her late +experiences. Certainly they were the most insistently recurring, and +the idea was forced upon her that the way in which men spoke of +Horace Spotswood was a strong contrast to the tone of the letter from +Lord Hurdly's friend. + +All this was a source of distress to her. She would have preferred to +believe the letter, for such a belief would have rid her of the sting +of self-reproach; but, try as she might, she could not wholly get her +consent to it. + +On her way back to England she stopped in Paris to choose her +costumes for the coming season. It was a pleasure to her to try on +these beautiful things, which she bought without any thought of the +cost of them; but it was a pleasure which she had become accustomed +to, and so its keenness was gone. Besides this, she had nothing to +look forward to except the London season, and custom had also +detracted from the zest of that. She was in the attitude of always +looking beyond. Surely, with such a position and such a fortune as +she had attained to, there must be something to satisfy the vague +longing within her which she called desire for happiness. + +It was decided that they were to stay at Kingdon Hall a short time +before going up to town, and Bettina had looked forward to the +freedom of the country life with a hopefulness which reality +disappointed. Here again she thought of Horace, and the possible +injustice she had done him forced its way into her consciousness, and +so disturbed her with doubts and misgivings that she determined to +overcome her reluctance to mention Horace's name to her husband, and +ask boldly whether he had actually received the sum of money which +she had been promised that he should have. It had become so essential +to her to know about this that she determined to use her very first +opportunity of asking. + +Not ten minutes after she had made this resolution she unexpectedly +encountered Lord Hurdly, in crossing a hall. He had been out on +horseback, and still wore his riding-clothes. The correct and +carefully fitted leggings showed legs that were thin and shapeless. +Beneath them were small feet, on which their owner did not step very +firmly. The somewhat showy waistcoat and short coat had an air of +displaying themselves and concealing the form beneath them, which +was perhaps a high tribute to his tailor's art. His chest looked +narrower, his face more wrinkled, his hair thinner, than Bettina had +before noticed them to be, and there was a certain loose-jointedness +in his figure which, as he moved toward her on his narrow and closely +booted feet, gave him the sort of teetering motion of the elderly +beau. His face, neutral and cold as ever, showed the signs of age +less, yet Bettina felt that it masked the inadequacy of his soul as +distinctively as his clothes masked that of his body. + +As they came toward each other--this man and this woman, whose +marriage was supposed to be a union of two into one--the face of each +might, by an eye sensitive to the subtleties of human expression, +have been seen to harden slightly. Lord Hurdly took off his hat with +an automatic motion which might have prompted the thought that the +action arose from his ideal of himself rather than from any +association with the woman before him. + +"Excuse me for detaining you a moment," said Bettina, "but I want to +know whether Horace Spotswood actually received the money which you +made over to him at the time of your marriage to me. I have heard +that he is leading a very active life, on lines where money will be +of great use to him. Naturally I am anxious to be sure of the fact +that he has suffered no injury, however indirectly, through me." + +She had been able to control both her voice and expression +entirely--a fact on which she fervently congratulated herself. + +"You may feel quite at ease on that score, I assure you," Lord Hurdly +answered, in his cold, incisive tones. "He received the money, and +has probably used it for the furtherance of these ridiculous and +sentimental schemes of his. This should give you the gratifying +assurance that he has been bettered, and not worsted, by reason of +his connection with you." + +The tone in which he spoke was galling to Bettina, but she made no +answer, though no words which she could have spoken would have +conveyed a greater resentment of his speech than did her disdainful +silence. She made a motion to move away, but he deliberately placed +himself in front of her, saying, in the same hard tone: + +"It occurred to me, from time to time while we were abroad, that you +were rather eager in gleaning information about the person we have +been speaking of, and I want to tell you that what has been evident +to me may be evident to others. You may not care how the thing +looks, but as I do, perhaps you will be more careful in the future." + +His use of the word "eager" in connection with her attitude in this +affair gave Bettina swift offence, and this feeling was heightened by +the suggestion that she had made herself liable to criticism on such +a subject. + +"You cannot, I think," she answered, in a tone of proud resentment, +"be more careful than I am that I shall act with propriety as your +wife. Since there is so little besides the form to be complied with, +I see the greater necessity for punctiliousness in observing that. +The rebuke you have just given me is utterly unmerited, and I shall +therefore not change my manner of conducting myself in any +particular." + +"Perhaps you will think better of that decision, and will oblige me +by not making yourself conspicuous by holding your breath to listen +whenever that person chances to be mentioned. You are not unlikely to +hear him alluded to during the coming season, as he has been making a +bid for popularity at his new post by taking up the matter of the +famine, and," he added with a sneering smile, "relieving it with the +money I paid him." + +The word cut into Bettina's heart. + +"Paid him?" she said, scrutinizing him with a glance before which +even his hard eyes faltered. "Paid him for what?" + +"Oh, for keeping himself out of my way!" + +She felt that she had compelled him to this response, and that he +would have liked to put it more brutally. As it was, there lurked a +sting in it which provoked her to reply. + +"Did he hold the privilege of your proximity at so large a price?" + +A smile of quiet irony accompanied the words. As it curved her lips +alluringly, Lord Hurdly felt himself touched with the sudden sense of +her powerful charm. No one else on earth would have dared to say this +to him, or anything remotely comparable with it. There was something +very piquant to his jaded palate in the flavor of this audacious +speech. Instead of scowling, therefore, he smiled. + +"I have heard," he said, amiably, "that America was the land of the +free and the home of the brave, and certainly you seem to warrant one +in accepting that belief." + +Bettina, a good deal relieved at this turn of affairs, took the +opportunity that the moment gave her to say, gravely: + +"No; I do not consider myself free. I have bound myself, in my +marriage to you, and I have no intention or desire to forget the +duties which I owe you. But I tell you frankly, Lord Hurdly, that I +am not accustomed to either surveillance or tyranny, and I shall not +tamely submit to them. In the carrying out of this resolution, at +least, you will find that I can be brave." + +She looked more than ordinarily beautiful as she stood erect before +him and said these words, and he had not gazed so fully into her eyes +for a long time. He had almost forgotten their magnetic loveliness. +At sight of them now his pulses beat quicker. A desire for the +mastery of this splendid creature returned to him with a force he +would not have believed possible. + +"Bettina," he said, in a voice which showed an emotion most unusual +to him, "have you ever known what it was to love, I wonder?" + +"Once--once only," she answered, a quaver in her voice and a sudden +suffusion of tears in her eyes. "I loved my mother. No one that ever +lived could have loved more truly and more ardently than I loved her; +but there it began and ended. I never deceived you as to that. I +promised you duty and good faith, and I have not failed in these. I +never shall so fail. But love, no! I haven't it to give." + +She made a movement to go forward, and he stood aside and let her +pass him. She avoided meeting his gaze, and perhaps it was well that +she did. For slowly its expression changed. A look of hardness that +was almost significant of dislike came into his eyes and compressed +his lips. From the day of their marriage this woman had thwarted and +baffled him. He had tried to get the mastery of her, but he had +failed, and the sense of that failure angered him. He had been used +to dominating every one with whom he came into any sort of close +contact. He had married this American girl with the determination to +dominate her, and he had found himself as powerless as if she had +been a mist maiden. There was no way in which he could lay hold upon +her. + +Concerning Bettina's attitude toward him he had a theory. He believed +that she had really loved Horace. She was too absolutely in the +shadow of the sorrow of her mother's death to give full play to any +other feeling, but he had always felt, in every effort that he had +made to win her, that it was the image of Horace Spotswood in her +mind which put him in total eclipse. This theory time had deepened. +His suspicious watchfulness over her every word and look had made +him aware that she listened with interest when Horace's name was +mentioned, and his imagination heightened the effect of her interest, +and caused him to conjecture as to what she might have heard and +felt at such times as he was not by. Moreover, a certain secret +consciousness in his own soul stimulated him in his suspicions. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +During the early weeks of their marriage Lord Hurdly, while changing +his attitude from the solicitude of the pursuer to the masterfulness +of the possessor, had certainly made some effort to win Bettina, +while she, on her part, had tried to oblige him by responding to his +professions for her. Both were aware that this effort had been made +on both sides, and that it had quite failed. By the time the +honey-moon was over, Lord Hurdly had, to all appearance, ceased to +care. The consciousness of this was an immense relief to Bettina, and +she had felt ever since that in doing him credit in the eyes of the +world she would satisfy his first object in having her for a wife. In +this she had not failed. There was a distinct estrangement between +them, but it had never been necessary to define it. Whatever +disagreements there had been, only themselves were aware of. Lord +Hurdly would have felt his authority over her incomplete indeed if +he had ever had to assert it in public. + +As for Bettina, a singular change of feeling was going on within her. +She had made her test of the world, and found that she had overrated +its power to please. It was almost appalling to reflect that there +was no more for her to do than to repeat what she had already done. +Another London season, another autumn in receiving and making visits, +another winter abroad. What then? Was there nothing but material +pleasure for her in the world? She wanted something more, something +different from all this. + +One morning she went out into the park, where spring was just +beginning to put forth its greenery. Leaping footsteps sounded behind +her. It was Comrade, bounding to her side and nestling up against +her. She put her arm around his neck and drew him close. He responded +with an affectionateness that was almost human. + +Almost human! At this thought she began to ask herself how much human +affection there was for her in the world. As much, no doubt, she told +herself, as she had to bestow. But why was this? + +The birds were going wild with song in the branches above her head. +The grass, the trees, the clouds, the sky, seemed all to have been +made to be part of a world for love to dwell in. A great hunger +possessed her--a hunger not to be loved, but to love. For the first +time she found herself longing for this boon, entirely apart from any +idea of her mother. Oh, to have some one with a human, comprehending, +ardent heart, to put her arms around as she was now clasping +Comrade--some one to whom to offer up the wealth of love which she +had once thought she could never give except to her dear mother; some +one who might make that mother's words come true, that a love far +greater than any she had known might be in store for her; some one, +handsome, charming, ardent, loving, sympathetic, kind; some one to be +friend and brother and lover all in one; above all, some one with +thoughts and feelings akin to her own--some one impulsive and +natural--some one young! + +When at last she said good-bye to Comrade and returned to her rooms, +she felt in some strange way that a new era had dawned for her. But +a mood like this was new in her experience, and she fought resolutely +against its recurrence. As an aid to this end she threw herself +more eagerly into the external interests which were so great in +such a position as hers, and became more noted for her splendid +entertainments and rich dressing than she had been the season before. +As she got a deeper insight into the conditions of the life about +her, she saw opportunities for influence and power, even to a woman, +which attracted her. But she was very ignorant. She knew little of +the world and English affairs, and she found the women about her so +well informed on these subjects that she began to feel herself at a +certain disadvantage. This roused her pride, and she set to work to +inform herself on many subjects of which she had hitherto been +ignorant. + +One means to this end was the reading of newspapers, and this +occupation now absorbed a part of every morning. In this way she +occasionally came upon Horace Spotswood's name, and when she did, a +strange agitation would possess her. She could not quite shake off an +influence which this man's life seemed to exert upon hers. Lord +Hurdly would have had her believe that she had bestowed a great +benefit upon Horace, as it was through her that he was in the +possession of his present independent fortune, but there was no voice +so strong as the one in her own heart which told her that she had +wronged him. Here and there she had picked up the impressions of +many different people concerning this young diplomatist, and +unquestionably the aggregated effect was one of admiration. The brief +notices of him which she read in the papers confirmed this impression +of him. He was doing well, for a man of his years, in diplomacy, and +he was doing more than well in the work he had undertaken for the +relief of the famine-stricken population near him. + +It was Horace's interest in this cause which had given rise to +Bettina's interest in it, and she began to read eagerly all that she +could find on the subject. As a result her heart was, for the first +time in her life, awakened to an intense perception of the suffering +of the world at large. It was a new emotion to her, and one which +throbbed through all her consciousness with a power which changed her +individuality even to herself. She began to think for the first time +of the utter recklessness with which she had been spending the large +sums of money which Lord Hurdly placed at her disposal. Her +expenditure of these sums heretofore had met with his entire +approval, as she could never have too rich a wardrobe to please him. +It was all a part of his own glory and importance, and he never asked +a question as to how the money went. + +But now the tide within Bettina's heart had turned. As she read of +the sufferings of these starving people, the thought of her own +excess of luxuriousness sickened her. The more she felt within her +soul that nameless sadness which no outside help could relieve, the +more she felt it urgent upon her to relieve the wants of others when +this assuagement lay within her actual power. + +It may seem strange that, with a mother who had a large-hearted +sympathy with all sorrow, Bettina should have kept her own heart so +closed to the suffering outside it; but no seed can sprout until the +soil is prepared for it, and up to this period of her life the ground +of Bettina's heart had been unprepared. + +Now, however, all was changed. She went to balls and dinners, as her +position as Lord Hurdly's wife demanded, but her heart was elsewhere. +She began to economize strictly in her personal expenditure, and +collected all the ready money she could lay her hands on, both from +her husband's allowance and from her own small private fortune, and +sent it anonymously to the Indian famine fund. + +This contribution was sent in with no other identification than "From +B.," written on the card which accompanied it. How could Bettina +have dreamed that any living soul would connect her with it? + +She was not unaware, however, that she was constantly watched by her +husband. Since she had become interested in her new pursuits he +observed her more closely than ever, and on the morning of the +publication in the papers of the special additions to the famine fund +which contained her own subscription Lord Hurdly, with apparently no +reason at all, read the list aloud to her across the breakfast table. + +When he came to the item "From B.," he paused and looked at her +searchingly. + +Bettina felt her face turn red. + +[Illustration: "'THE MONEY WAS PARTLY MY OWN'"] + +"I thought so," said her husband, with a strange mixture of +satisfaction and anger in his hard tones. "I have been expecting some +such foolery as this for some time, and I am not blinded to the +motive behind it. What do you care about those devils of Indian +savages? What does Horace Spotswood care about them? Just as little! +Enough, and too much, of my money has gone already to the prolonging +of their worthless lives. If that graceless cub chooses to go on +wasting money on them he can do it, but I take this occasion to +inform you, Lady Hurdly--and I'd advise you to remember what I +say--that I do not choose that any more of my money shall go in that +direction. Do you understand?" + +There was an insolence in his tone which he had never used to her +before. She resented it keenly. Rising to her feet, with an instinct +which forbade her to preside over the table at the other end of which +he was seated as master, she said, with a tinge of anger in her quiet +tones: + +"The money was partly my own--from my mother's little fortune; and +she would have held, with me, that I could put it to no more holy +use. As to the rest, I understood that that also was my own. I did +not know that you required of me an account of how I used it." + +"How you used it? You may light your fire with it, for all I care! +But there is one thing for which I do care, and which I mean to see +nipped in the bud; and that is this ridiculous sentimentality which +you are indulging in over Horace Spotswood. If you are regretting +your young lover, that is your own affair, but when you come to +flaunt this regret before the eyes of the public it becomes my +affair, and as such I propose to put a stop to it." + +Bettina trembled with the rage of resentment that possessed her. She +recollected herself enough, however, not to speak until she had +paused long enough to be sure that she could control herself. Then +she said: + +"You are forgetting yourself, Lord Hurdly, when you presume to speak +to me as you have just done. I have given you no occasion to do so, +and you know it. If there are certain regrets in my marriage to you, +your present conduct justifies them. But permit me to say, on my +side, that I can imagine no explanation of your behavior, except to +suppose that it proceeds from a consciousness in your own mind of +having wronged this man." + +She was looking at him narrowly. His features did not flush, nor did +his cold eyes falter. And yet, in spite of the long habit of +guardedness which now stood him in such good stead, there was a +consciousness about him, like an atmosphere, which told her that her +thrust had drawn blood. + +"I thought so!" she said, using the very words which he had used to +her. "I have for a long time been struggling in my mind against a +doubt which sometimes would arise, that I might have been deceived. +Everywhere, in public and in private, that I hear that young man +spoken of, it is with words of confidence, admiration, and +affection." + +Still her penetrating gaze was on him, and still he bore it without +flinching. + +"You saw the letter," he said, with a sneer. "If that was not enough +for you--" He broke off with a harsh, unpleasant laugh. + +"It was enough," she said. "Surely it has sufficed to fix my fate in +life. But it is possible that that letter gave an exaggerated +account. Still, if the half of it was so, I was more than justified +in cutting loose from him. No one could possibly blame me." + +"No one does, so far as I can see," was the malicious answer. "I hear +of no complaints from others, and certainly I have uttered none. You +make a very satisfactory Lady Hurdly, and I suppose you get enough +out of the position to repay you for anything you may have lost--at +least, from the world's point of view, you should have done so." + +Bettina did not answer at once. A sickness of soul was creeping over +her that made all life look suddenly loathsome. The one feeble ray +that penetrated the darkness in which she felt herself enveloped was +the help that came from a certain ideal which she had recently +enthroned in her own heart. As the world's need, the wider issues +affecting the myriad lives beyond her own, had recently been brought +before her consciousness, she had felt her way, as simply and weakly +as a child might have done, to one plain principle of life--that it +was worth while to try to be good. Never had she felt so keenly as in +this minute the utter futility of hoping to be happy. Yet in this +minute she felt more than ever, also, that happiness was not all. + +It was only rarely that she had any personal talk with her husband. +The wall of separation between them seemed to be thickening by silent +accretion all the time. It was very difficult to scale this wall, and +she felt that any effort to do so irked him no less than it did her. +So, with an instinct not to let go the present opportunity, she said, +rather eagerly, as he was rising to go away: + +"Sit down a moment. We do not often speak together. I have something +on my mind to say to you." + +He resumed his seat and lighted a cigar--an action which discouraged +her by its nonchalance. Still, she was determined to go on. By a +great effort she made her voice very gentle, as she said: + +"I know I have disappointed you in what you had hoped from this +marriage between us, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. If I +have not been able to give you the feeling which you desired--" + +He interrupted her. + +"Feeling?" he said. "Who wants feeling nowadays in a wife? No one +expects it. I wanted some one to make a handsome figure as Lady +Hurdly. I expected that you would do that, and you have not +disappointed me." + +"If this is true, I'm glad to know it," she said; "but, at any rate, +you could not blame me for not giving you the love another woman +might have given you. I never deceived you as to that. I told +you I had not that love to give; not--as you have so unjustly +hinted--because I had given it to another man, but because I was then +incapable of love. I had no thought of any one beyond myself. I was +miserably ignorant and egoistic. It was in ignorance and egoism that +I took the position of your wife, but I think from the first that I +have tried, as I could, to fulfil its obligations. I have tried to be +and to appear what you would wish. And I am not unmindful of the +honor and distinction which my marriage to you has conferred upon +me." + +"Gad! I should hope not! One of the biggest positions in England!" he +exclaimed, in a tone of scornful irritation. With these words he rose +and left the room. + +Bettina's pride was deeply wounded. It had been that new assertion of +the control of duty which had led her to say these things to her +husband. She had conquered much in herself before speaking, and she +felt that she had a right to resent the almost brutal insensibility +with which he had received her words. + +As she turned from the breakfast-room and mounted to her own +apartments she felt conscious of a new humiliation in her life. Up to +this time she had believed that Lord Hurdly would have been incapable +of such speech as he had used to her that morning. She had done a +good deal--more than was required of her, she told herself--in +speaking to him as she had done after his words in the early part of +their conversation, and now it seemed plain to her that she had +fulfilled her whole duty toward him, and that if it had done no good, +the fault was on his side and not on hers. + +Once in her own rooms, she gave herself up to profoundly sorrowful +thoughts. She was only twenty-two. How long the path of her future +life looked, and whither would it lead? She had attained all that +any woman could desire in the way of the world's bestowment. She did +not underrate the value of this. On the contrary, it was as essential +to one part of her nature as something far different in the way of +human possibility was to another part. She did not lose her hold upon +the actual because she was striving after the unattained. All this +power and admiration was very important to her, though she felt the +insufficiency of mere worldly prosperity. "Pleasure to have it, none; +to lose it, pain," were words that very nearly fitted her state of +mind. At the thought of going back to the obscurity she had come out +of she shrank. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +That talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch in their relations +to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its +impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done +all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to +a true and amicable understanding with her husband, and, after it, +she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight +into Bettina's nature which he had not had before. He found her to +be possessed of a power of caustic speech which, he was bound to +acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that +he had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy over her quite +so conclusively as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an +uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, +that it might be better for him to think twice in future before +crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition, and who +was quite unused to dealing with it in his own house. He was still +master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired +to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion +with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving +which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already +endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming +again into close quarters with Bettina. + +This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which +might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to +watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on +the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again +referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of +Horace Spotswood. + +Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and +held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up +against her which might one day be brought before her all at once. + +She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things +beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by +indulgence. When she looked about her in the great throbbing life of +London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand +waiting for her interest and participation that she was soon caught +in the strong movement of woman's work in social life in its wider +and deeper meaning. + +No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest +herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a +new and delightful consciousness to her that she might become part of +the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she +threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm. + +Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position +was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she +might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots +of those who were at the other extreme of life's scale from her, +whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had +as little value at one end as at the other. + +Apart from these considerations of pure altruism was the sweet +thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that +she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another +thought would come. This was that, far apart as their lives must be, +she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and +perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each--namely, that the +record of the future might help to compensate for the mistakes and +wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately hoping that +he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to +throw hers. + +Under these changed conditions, Bettina's second season in London was +unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some +unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated with the +"scorn for miserable aims that end with self," and by the time that +she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so +informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure +which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its +opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal +supervision of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was +eager to enter into. She had awakened to the duty of looking after +the interests of tenants and the good of the parish. + +Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or +not she was unable to guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical and +distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered, but +she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he +felt that her prominence in philanthropic activities, which had been +approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon +himself. + +For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the +man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic +to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most +people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and +breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening. + +She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her +visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation into the +needs of her husband's tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, +and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to +leave for a few days' hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he +said to her, at the moment of departure: + +"I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which +you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. +The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left these matters to +their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now +so that I may see no signs of interference on my return." + +It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he +was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of +haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this +way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no +intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on +his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his +gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent +upon his task, under frowning brows. + +His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her +were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of +disappointment. She did not often take a humble tone with him, but +there was humility as well as entreaty in her voice as she now said, + +"You won't forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a +little better for them, if I can, will you?" + +"I forbid all interference," he answered, in a tone that made her +feel that he relished the exercise of his power. "You can safely +leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently +well in my hands so far." + +At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, +but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage +that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities were now less +insistent than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped +to be able to alleviate. + +"Oh, indeed you are mistaken!" she said, urgently. "You do not know +how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply +them with. Don't refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to +my heart." + +She saw his face grow harder. + +"It is also," he said, "near my pocket. Going in for charity is all +very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere with your doing +so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to +stop it." + +His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the +position of being entreated by her. She had an instinct to retort +sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was +a new sensation to her--a willingness to humble her pride that others +might be benefited. + +"I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you +approved it," she said, "and I will promise you to regulate my public +charities in future strictly in accordance with whatever limitations +you may set. But don't refuse to let me work a little here--it will +not take much money--among the poor at our very doors." + +Instead of softening him, as she had hoped that this attitude of +humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She +had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, +because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing. + +He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her +waiting. His gloves were now neatly fastened on his long thin hands, +and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded +to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do +so, as he would certainly have done at one time--as he would also, +undoubtedly, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. +Still, these signs of a diminished deference toward her touched her +lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer +to her question. + +She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was +now puffing from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak. + +Always scrupulously careful in small things, he walked to the window +to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came +over her that he did not intend to answer her last words. + +Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart +rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several +days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to +contemplate. As he moved toward the door she said: + +"You have not answered me." + +"I beg your pardon," he said, with chill politeness. "I answered you +in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants' +affairs where they properly belong--with me." + +So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went. + +Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from +the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an +arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she +ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat +her so? + +With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see +if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which +now seemed to be in her husband's mind. With every desire to be +honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not +answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for +he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know +of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not +that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she +chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the +mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the +relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of +his meek little mother and masterful-looking father. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Bettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections +but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of +those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences, +seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of +all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits +and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were +before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been +killed in the hunting-field. + +Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of +her mother's noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat +complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded +most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and +regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be +changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed +in her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who +had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She +had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had +seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least +symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that +he was dead. + +How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their +last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him +at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had +known-- + +Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they +found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet. + +"Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?" said +Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. "They was +that 'aughty to one another before people! But it's them as feels the +most, sometimes." + +This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a +response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue. + +It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress's apartments, where +Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the +arrival of Lord Hurdly's body were being made. After her profound +emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was +the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness +of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now. + +How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things +seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new +conditions. + +Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be +done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to +do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the +rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was +with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility +of Horace's arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get +away somewhere before he came. + +Those days when her husband's body lay in the apartment near her, and +the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his +lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of +the real awakening of Bettina's soul. The sense of freedom which her +position now secured to her, the power to do and be what she chose, +was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her +experience the woman and the hour were met. + +When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had +been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the +heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so +small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for +the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which +saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a +passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs +of others. + +She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life +should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her +vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These +would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have +money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of +the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her, +but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and +she had no misgivings on that score. + +At last the funeral was over and the house was rid of guests. +Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and +bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector's aid, had managed to +get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course +of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute +unadjustment to her new situation. + +It had turned out that Lord Hurdly had left her an income of one +thousand pounds. Her first realization of the smallness of this +provision for her came from the rector's comment, which was spoken in +a tone as if reluctantly censorious. + +"I should not have believed Lord Hurdly capable of such a thing," he +said. "I am sure that all who have cared for his honorable reputation +must regret this as much on his account as on yours." + +"Is it so little?" said Bettina, too proud to show disappointment. "A +thousand pounds a year seems a sufficient sum for the support of one +woman." + +"For some women, perhaps," was the answer, "but not for the woman who +has once held the position of mistress of Kingdon Hall. I repeat that +I would not have believed it of Lord Hurdly." + +Bettina did not hear his last emphatic words, or, at all events, +took no conscious cognizance of them. She was absorbed in the +contemplation of her new condition. How strange it seemed! + +It was something more than strange. She had been too long in +possession of the power and importance of being the reigning Lady +Hurdly, so to speak, not to feel a real revolt at the idea of seeing +herself laid on the shelf. It would not necessarily be so bad if she +had had ample means, for she had made a place for herself in the +world. But she was certain, from the air of commiseration with which +not only the rector but others had regarded her, that she would be +extremely curtailed in such opportunities as depended upon money; and +she had sufficient insight into social affairs to know how the +possession of money broadened opportunity, and the absence of it +limited power. + +There was no denying to herself the pain that it gave her to +relinquish such a position. She had accommodated herself to greatness +so naturally that it seemed incredible that she was to sink back into +a life of obscurity. Frankly, she did not like it. + +And yet, on the other hand, she felt an unfeigned gladness that +Horace was to come to his own. She rejoiced that no child of hers +would ever stand in his way. She had reason to hope that he would use +his great position to great ends, for the residuum of all her turbid +and agitating thoughts about him was an admiration for the man in his +attitude toward the world, no matter how much she still resented his +attitude toward herself. That this last was so, there needed no +stronger proof than her eager resolution to get away from Kingdon +Hall--out of the country, if possible--before the arrival of the man +whose place her husband had once taken, and who, in another sense, +was now to take his. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +It was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of +her life consequent upon her husband's extremely small provision for +her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a +mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America, +in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it +would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for +good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little +joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the +best substitute that can be offered for joy--active and interesting +occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation +of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed +to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the +money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek +some work for the faculties which she had only lately realized that +she possessed. + +In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the +altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her. +She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a +more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling +her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have +had some intention of this sort. + +That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when +he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to +him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to +America to live. + +Under other conditions her husband's wish would have greatly +influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever. +She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was +not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight +implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of +loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her +best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his +wishes. These had often conflicted with her own, but in such cases +she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been +treated with injustice. + +The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of +Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was +bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated +her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild +impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of +her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a +short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace +should arrive. + +One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him. +It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these +words: "Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably +detained here.--SPOTSWOOD." + +This direct message from the young lover who had once been so near to +her life moved Bettina to strange emotions. She was aware that Mr. +Cortlin, the family lawyer, had written him that she was going away +as soon as possible, and he had, of course, been informed of all the +conditions of his cousin's will. Not one penny had been left him +except what was his by legal right; but Lord Hurdly's personal +fortune had been an inconsiderable part of the estate, so that Horace +was now a man of great wealth as well as the bearer of an old and +noble title. + +The signature to this telegram was one of the things that affected +Bettina. The telegrams sent to the lawyers, the rector, and others +had been signed "Hurdly." Several of these she had seen. It seemed to +her, therefore, a very delicate instinct which had caused him to +refrain from the use of her husband's name in addressing her. He had +always been delicate in his intuitions and expressions, or at least +so it had seemed. + +The effect of this telegram upon Bettina was to make her more +confused and uncertain in her plans than she had been before. She +felt a strong instinct to avoid meeting Horace again, and yet this +telegram was in the form of a request, and she could hardly refuse to +do him a favor. In the midst of her perplexity a servant brought word +that Mr. Cortlin had arrived and asked to see her. + +When the lawyer entered, with his usual obsequious bow, Bettina +received him with a rather cold civility. Her manner had become +distinctly more haughty since her descent in the scale of social and +pecuniary importance. + +Mr. Cortlin did not take the seat to which she invited him, but +remained standing, with his hat in his hand, as he said: + +"A former client of mine, and friend of his late lordship, Mr. +Fitzwilliam Clarke, who died about a year ago, left in my keeping a +letter to your ladyship, which he instructed me to deliver in person +upon the death of Lord Hurdly. I am come now, my lady, in the +fulfilment of that trust." + +Bettina looked at him in amazement. + +"There must be some mistake," she said. "I know no Mr. Fitzwilliam +Clarke. I have never even heard his name." + +"That may be, my lady, but there is no mistake. This letter was meant +for you." + +Bettina took the letter he held out, and opened it with a certain +incredulous haste. Mr. Cortlin at the same moment walked away to a +window, and stood there with his back turned while Bettina read the +following sentences: + + "MY DEAR LADY HURDLY,--Should this letter ever come to your + eyes, you will be at that time a widow, as I have left + instructions that it shall be delivered only in the event + of your surviving your husband. By that time I shall have + passed into the unknown world, where, if such things can + be, I shall have had with Lord Hurdly an understanding + which, by the hard conditions he imposed on me, was + impossible in this life. But before leaving the world of + human life and action I wish to make sure that at least one + wrong which came about through me will have been repaired + by me. I am aware that the rupture of your engagement of + marriage to Mr. Horace Spotswood was caused chiefly by a + letter shown you by Lord Hurdly, and purporting to come + from an altogether trustworthy source--a man who was on the + spot and who was a personal friend of his. I was that man. + I was on the spot because I was sent there by Lord Hurdly + for the purpose of writing this letter. For reasons which I + need not enter into he had me in his power, and until one + of us shall be dead he can force me to do his will. If you + ever hold this letter in your hand and read these words we + shall both be dead, and by this letter I desire to make + reparation for a base and cruel wrong which I have helped + to inflict upon an honorable and high-minded gentleman. I + allude to the man who, when you read these words, will bear + the name and title of Lord Hurdly. The things I wrote of + him are in absolute contradiction to the truth, for a + nobler and more loyal heart never beat. You might well + discredit any assurance which comes by means of me, and I + do not ask to have my words accepted. All I expect to + accomplish is that you shall pay enough attention to my + statement to investigate the matter for yourself. He is + well known, and once your ears are open you will hear + enough to prove to you that he has been wronged. That I + have wronged him, though reluctantly and by reason of a + power I could not resist, is the saddest consciousness of + my life. + + "That I may possibly by this letter do something, however + late, to repair this wrong is my chief consolation on + leaving the world. I shall carry with me into whatever life + I go an ineradicable resentment against the man who was + Lord Hurdly, and I leave behind me the most ardent and + admiring wishes of my heart for the man who, when you read + this, will bear the noble name and title which his + predecessor, if the truth about him could be known, has so + soiled with treachery in the furtherance of the most + indomitable egotism ever known in mortal man. + + "In conclusion, I ask of your ladyship, as I do of all the + world, such gentle judgment as Christian hearts may find it + in them to accord to one whose sins, though many, were of + weakness rather than malice, and who did the evil work of a + malicious man because he had not strength to brave what + that man had it in his power and purpose to do to him in + punishment of the resistance of his will. + + "Your ladyship's repentant and unhappy servant, + + "FITZWILLIAM CLARKE." + +Bettina, in her breathless reading of this letter, had forgotten that +she was not alone. As she finished it and thrust it back into its +envelope she glanced toward the window, and there saw Mr. Cortlin's +figure half hid by the heavy curtains. + +"Mr. Cortlin," she said, in a tone which summoned him quickly to her +side, "I wish to ask if you or any other person have any knowledge of +the contents of this letter." + +"I can only answer for myself, my lady. I have not. It was delivered +to me sealed as you have found it, and no hint of its purpose told +me." + +"Had you a personal knowledge and acquaintance with this Mr. Clarke?" +she asked next. + +"I had, my lady. He was in the confidence of his late lordship, who +intrusted to him many of his private affairs." + +"The man was under some great obligation to Lord Hurdly, was he not?" + +"So I have understood, my lady. Formerly he was in the army, and I +have heard that there was some dark story about him. I have even +heard cheating at cards attributed to him, and it was said that Lord +Hurdly's influence and friendship were all that saved him. The story +was hushed up, but he resigned." + +Bettina scarcely followed these last words. A sense of sickening +confusion made her head spin round. The revelation of this letter was +too much for her. The past possessed her like a blighting spell that +she could never hope to shake off, and the knowledge which had come +to her through this letter added a thousandfold to its bitterness. + +As to the future, she dared not try to see a step before her feet. To +go through life with the consciousness of this wrong to Horace +unexplained was a thought at which she shuddered. Yet to explain it +under existing circumstances was impossible. The agitation of this +interview had almost overwhelmed her. Mr. Cortlin saw it, and, +ringing for her maid, silently withdrew. When Nora came she found +her mistress pale as death, and very nearly lost to consciousness. + +After that interview, so significant for her in so many ways, +Bettina began to long to get away--quite, quite away into another +world--before the master of Kingdon Hall should have set foot in this +one. She was doing her best to take his place and act for him in such +matters as required immediate attention and decision. She could not +refuse to do this, but she was anxious to be gone, to be quite to +herself, so that she might the better look life in the face and see +what could be done with the wretched remnant of her existence. She +had given up all idea of making her residence in England, and there +was no other country in which she had any deep interest, save for the +mournful interest that attached to her mother's grave. + +She had asked the lawyer to say to Lord Hurdly that she would, at his +request, delay her departure for America a little while, but that she +was extremely anxious to get off as soon as it would be possible. She +also begged that he would cable when he was coming, as soon as he +could make his plans to do so. + +The days were active ones for Bettina in many new and serious ways. +There were numerous business matters which she had to be consulted +about, and these gave her an insight into the affairs of the estate +which showed her far more clearly than ever what need there was for +reform, and revived in her her ardent longing to have a hand in these +reforms. But from all such thoughts as these she turned away +heart-sickened. + +There were certain visits from Lord Hurdly's relations which had to +be received, an ordeal that would have tried Bettina sorely had it +not been that she made these the occasion for the investigation of +Horace Spotswood's character, nature, actions, interests, habits, +etc., which the fateful letter had recommended her to make. She had +never had one instant's doubt of the truth of every word contained in +that letter, but it was a sort of bitter pleasure to talk to these +people and draw forth the manifestations of their delight at having +Horace for the head of the family, and their confidence that this +fact would result in pleasure and benefit to them all. From their +ardent appreciation of him Bettina got at the fact of their universal +dislike for the Lord Hurdly recently laid at rest with his ancestors. + +Yet it was a relief when all the guests were gone and she was left +alone to the mingled sweet and bitter feelings of her last days as +mistress of Kingdon Hall. The worldly spirit in Bettina, diminished +as it was, had not wholly disappeared, and never would as long as she +was young and healthy and so beautiful. These attributes carried with +them a certain love of display, and although it was a trial to be +borne with dignity, it was still a trial to her to think of losing +forever the splendid place which she had for a short year or two held +in the great world. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Bettina was writing in the library one morning when her attention was +arrested by the sound of an approaching footstep. The next moment a +servant announced, + +"Lord Hurdly." + +At this name she started violently. So long accustomed to associate +it with one person, she forgot for the instant that another bore it +now. As she rose, startled and expectant, through the portiere held +back by the servant there entered a man whose sharp dissimilarity to +the image in her mind made her catch her breath. + +The next second she knew that it was Horace, and realized that she +was trembling from head to foot. The breadth of the room was between +them, for he had paused just within the door, nodding to the servant +to withdraw. + +He stood there an instant in silence. + +Perhaps she was no more startled by the surprise which the sight of +him occasioned than was he at the sight of her; but the quality of +the surprise was different. It was her beauty, her so far more than +recollected beauty, which had arrested him and held him spellbound. +He had left her sick with grief about her mother, the color faded +from her cheeks, her eyes dulled with weeping. There had been, +moreover, in her expression an apathy which his ardent words had +failed to do away with. Besides these inherent things, the extrinsic +points were glaringly a contrast to the present ones. Then her +somewhat too slight figure had been dressed in gowns of village make +and fit, and her lovely hair had been carelessly wound up, without +regard to fashion or effect. + +Now he saw confronting him a woman whom nature had endowed with a +rare beauty, and for whom art had also done its best in the matter of +outward adornment. True, she was clad in plain unrelieved black from +head to foot, but no other costume could have so exquisitely +displayed her glowing loveliness of coloring or the pure correctness +of her outlines. + +During the few seconds in which they stood looking at each other she +had perceived also a great change in him. It was of a very different +character, but it made all the more a strong appeal to her, for he +was mysteriously aged. Not only had the Eastern sun turned to bronze +the once ruddy hues of his skin, but he had also lost flesh, and his +hair was getting streaks of gray in it. His figure, too, was sparer, +but it looked more powerful than ever; and still more apparent was +the added look of strength in the familiar and yet subtly altered +face. + +There was no pause long enough to be embarrassing before he spoke. + +"I hope you will excuse me," he said (and, oh, the voice was altered +too, unless she had forgotten that rich, vibrating tone in it!), "for +coming upon you so suddenly. I know I should have given warning, but +I had what I think a sufficient reason for not doing so. I am hoping +earnestly that you will agree with me when you have heard it." + +"Pray sit down," said Bettina, speaking mechanically, and from the +mere instinct of observance of ordinary forms. She had no sooner +spoken than she remembered that it was his own house, of which she +was doing the honors to him. If he remembered it also, he gave no +sign, for he took the chair she indicated, with the conventional +"Thank you" of an ordinary visitor. + +Bettina also had sunk into her chair, and sat quite still, with her +white hands clasped together on the dense black of her dress. She +could not speak, yet she dreaded lest, in the silence, he might hear +the beating of her heart. Its soft thuds were plainly audible to her, +and all the blood from her cheeks seemed to have gone there. + +"In any event, I should have been obliged to come to England soon," +said her companion, "but I should have put it off longer had I not +felt it important to come on your account." + +Bettina's eyes expressed a questioning surprise. + +"On my account?" she said, vaguely. + +"Certainly," was the prompt, decided answer. "The only responsibility +which comes near to me in my new and strange position is that of +protecting the honor and credit of the name I have assumed. These, +you will excuse me for saying, have been seriously, I may even say +shamefully, disregarded by the terms of the late Lord Hurdly's will." + +Bettina's eyes had still that vague and puzzled look. She had not the +least comprehension of what he meant. Could he be resenting the fact +that, so far as it was practicable for him to do so, his cousin had +disinherited him? But no, that was impossible. As she remained silent +and expectant, he went on: + +"Since he chose to disregard the duty and dignity of his position, it +is for me, who must now bear his name, to repair that wrong so far as +it is in my power to do so. It is for that explicit purpose that I am +now come to speak to you." + +Still Bettina looked perplexed. + +"I don't understand exactly in what way the will has displeased you," +she said. "There was a great deal of it that I hardly took in. But in +any case there is nothing for me to do. As you know, my services have +not been asked, and certainly there is no place for them. I have +nothing whatever to do with the executing of Lord Hurdly's will. +Indeed, my plans are all made to return to America immediately." + +"I cannot be surprised at your decision," he said, with a certain +resentment in his voice which she did not understand. "Certainly it +would be natural for you to wish to shake off the dust of this land +from your feet. But wherever you may choose to live for the future, +it is my duty to see that you live as becomes the widow of Lord +Hurdly, and it is for this purpose that I have hastened to get here +before you should be gone." + +All was now clear, and with the illumination which had come to her +from these words of his the color flooded her pale cheeks. Her first +sensation was of keenly wounded pride. + +"You might have spared yourself such haste," she said. "If you had +taken the slight trouble to write to me, I could have saved you the +long and hurried journey. So far from wishing to have more money than +what I am legally entitled to, it is my purpose and decision to take +nothing. I have of my own enough to live upon in the simple way in +which I shall live for the future. Did you think so ill of me as to +suppose that I would wish to grasp at more than my husband saw fit to +leave me--or to take money at your hands?" + +It was her instinct of pride which had caused her to use the words +"my husband," which another instinct at the same moment urged her to +repudiate. But pride was now the uppermost feeling of her heart, and +it supplied her with a sudden and sufficient strength for this hour's +need. + +"This is in no sense a question between you and your late husband," +said Horace. (Was there not in him also a certain hesitation at that +word, and did not the same feeling as in her compel him to its use?) +"Nor is it a question between you and me. The obviously simple issue +is what propriety demands as to the manner in which the widow of +Lord Hurdly is provided for. It belongs to my own sense of the +dignity of my position that the late Lord Hurdly's widow should be +situated as becomes her name and title, and I am determined to see +that this is done." + +"Determined," she said, a certain defiance in her quiet tone, "is not +the word for this case. You may determine as you choose, but what +will it avail if I determine not to touch a penny belonging to either +the late or the present Lord Hurdly? You are very careful of the +dignity of your position. I must also look to mine, which you seem +strangely to have forgotten." + +His expression showed her plainly that these words of hers had cut +deep into his consciousness. A swift compunction seized her heart, +but her pride was still in the supremacy, and enabled her to stifle +the feeling. + +"I have not forgotten it," he said. "It is because I have been +mindful of the dignity of your position that I have urged this thing +upon you. The conditions of the will need not be generally known if +you will accept the right and proper income, which I wish, above all +things, to see you have. Can you not believe me sincere in my desire +to remove the indignity put upon you by a member of my family, and +the bearer before me of a name and position of which it has now +become my duty to maintain the credit? And can you not believe me +just enough and kind enough to wish to see this done for your sake as +well as for my own?" + +Bettina's face continued proudly hard. If the gentleness of her +companion's expression, the kindness of his manner, the delicate +respect of his tones, made any appeal to her woman's heart, the +all-potency of her pride enabled her to conceal it. But the struggle +between the two feelings at war within her made a desperate demand +upon her strength. She felt that she would do well to put an end to +this interview as soon as practicable. With this purpose she said, +abruptly: + +"I am willing to do full justice to your motives, but they cannot +affect my action. My mind is quite made up. I shall return to America +at once, and there the credit of Lord Hurdly's name will not suffer +any hurt, since I shall be practically out of the world. Certainly I +shall be forever removed from the world in which his life will be +spent. Do not think that I shall regret it. I shall not. My +experience of your world has shown me that the mere possession of +money, rank, position, influence, is powerless to bring happiness. I +thought once that if I should come to have these I could get pleasure +and satisfaction from them, but I was wrong. My nature inherently +loved importance and display, but I mistook the unessential for the +essential. If I had had all these external things, together with the +satisfaction of the inward needs, they might have made me happy. In +themselves I have proved them to be worthless." + +She was compelled to say these words. The intimate knowledge of the +character of her husband which had come to her after marriage made +her long that Horace should know that had she really comprehended the +man as he perhaps had known him all the while, she never could have +become his wife. It was impossible for her to tell him this, but she +caught eagerly at her present opportunity of letting him know that +she had had no duty toward her late husband beyond the mere formal +obligation of her wifehood. She could not bear Horace to think that +she had loved him. Even now, under the softening influence that death +imparts, that thought was intolerable to her. This was quite aside +from his treatment of her in his will, which, indeed, was strangely +little to her. It was the memory of the crafty and common nature +under that polished exterior that made her recoil from the thought +of him now. + +If this feeling was strengthened by the contrast of the personality +now present to her gaze, how could she be blamed? Surely the man who +stood before her might have seemed to answer any woman's heart's +desire as lover, companion, friend. How her conscience smote her for +the doubts she had once had of him! When she remembered whose +treachery it was that had created these doubts, there was hate in her +heart. + +She did not wish him to see the expression of this feeling in her +face, so she rose abruptly and turned from him. As if he understood +her, he rose also, and crossed the room to the desk at which she had +been seated on his entrance. + +Here were heaped papers and memoranda connected with the Kingdon Hall +estates. Evidently he recognized their character, for he said: + +"At least you have not refused to give me the help that I asked. I've +been talking to Kirke, and he tells me you have been taking an +interest in the affairs of the tenants. Thank you for this." + +In an instant the bitterness in Bettina's heart was changed into a +new and softer emotion. She saw the opportunity of effecting now what +she had been so powerless to effect in the past. Forgetting +everything else, she came quickly to his side and took up one of the +papers. This was in her own handwriting, and was a memorandum of some +length. She held it away from him a moment, her face flushing, and a +look of hesitation showing on it. + +"I never intended that you should see this," she said. "I began it +long ago, and had to put it by; but recently I have taken it up +again, without really knowing why, except that all my whole heart was +in it." + +"What is it?" he asked. "I beg you to let me see it." + +"No," she said. "It is not my affair, and I must remember that. It +concerns some most deplorable facts which I have discovered +concerning the management of the Kingdon Hall estates, but--" + +"Then it is my affair," he interrupted her; "and since you know what +these abuses are, and have looked into them, you surely will not +deprive me of the help that you could give. I ask it as a favor." + +Still Bettina hesitated, but he could see that she was longing to +comply. He could imagine, also, what it was that held her back. + +"Not as a favor to me," he hastened to add; "I appeal to you in the +name of these poor tenants, who have been so long neglected and +abused. This is no new thing to me. I have seen it going on from the +time I was a boy here, and I can truly say that almost the only +pleasure that I have looked forward to in succeeding to the estates +has been the righting of these wrongs. Surely you will not refuse to +help me to do this." + +For answer, Bettina turned upon him a pair of ardent eyes that swam +with tears. + +"Oh, are you really going to do this blessed, glorious thing?" she +said. She had forgotten herself for the moment, and was thinking only +of them--the wretched beings whose wrongs had so long oppressed her, +and who, it seemed, were to have justice and care and kindness at +last. "You don't know how hideous the condition of these poor +creatures is, and how impossible it has been for me to do anything in +the past. To think there is some one who will let me tell about it at +last and give the help that is so needed! But you can do nothing with +such a steward as Kirke. His heart is as cold as ice." + +"Kirke shall go at once. I have long believed that he was unworthy of +the position he holds. If you will give me the benefit of your +investigation and insight into the situation you will save me much +trouble, and you can also feel that these poor people will be that +much nearer to having their distress relieved." + +At these prompt, determined words her heart swelled, and again tears +brimmed her eyes. + +"Oh, thank God that you will help them!" she said. "Now that I am +sure of that, I can go away contented. It would have broken my heart +to leave them so--yet I had not dared to hope that I could do +anything. You have no idea of the extent of it. It will take a great +deal of money to give them new houses, proper sanitary conditions, +and all the things they need." + +"Never mind that--only tell me what to do." + +"But _can_ you do it? I know how comparatively limited you are as to +money." + +"Comparatively only," he said, reassuringly. "I have much less than +my predecessor had, but fortunately I have little pride and simple +tastes. I can let the place in Leicestershire, where the hunting is +good, and I can also lease the town house if necessary. Pray consider +that the question of money is disposed of. I assure you that does not +enter into it." + +Thus invited, Bettina sat down before the desk, while he took a seat +near by, and with the papers before her she went fully into the +questions at issue, showing a grasp of the situation which soon +testified to her companion that she had studied it to some purpose. +All the changes which she recommended were approved, but more than +once his attention was diverted from the purpose of the future to an +indignant contempt for the delinquencies of the past. It was hard for +him to constrain himself to silence as to this, but Bettina thanked +him in her heart for the successful effort which he made. She was too +abject in her sense of compunction for her own past to feel inclined +to severe judgment of another, and in her joy that these cherished +plans of hers were to be immediately realized she was able to put by +for the moment more personal trouble. She spoke with a fervor that +made her beautiful face wellnigh adorable in its kind compassion, and +when she would describe the wrongs and hardships of these poor simple +folk her eyes at times would fill with tears of pity and her voice +would tremble. + +She knew it not, but in this hour she was making a new revelation of +herself to Horace, which answered to the need of his maturer nature +as marvellously as the Bettina of old had satisfied the needs of the +ardent young fellow that he was then. If he remembered that Bettina +only as being beautiful and beloved, he saw in this one a far nobler +and more perfect beauty, as he recognized in her qualities more +worthy to command love. + +Here they were alone together, in a mood of extraordinary openness +and sincerity, for they were thinking the same thoughts of +helpfulness to others, and there was not an atom of the embarrassment +of their personal relationship to come between them now. It was not +singular, therefore, that he, for his part, should have longed to +speak to her, heart to heart, of that mysterious thing which had +divided them, and to tell her that, in spite of all--in spite of +facts that had been flaunted before his eyes in society, in the +public prints, and everywhere--he had never quite succeeded in +stilling a small voice in his soul which had continued to declare +that the young girl to whom he had so passionately given his love was +less fickle and unfaithful than these facts had shown her to be. Now, +more than ever, this insistent voice repeated itself. How he longed +to ask her the simple question! But then came common-sense, and +demanded, What question? Was there any question which he could ask +her to which the fact and conditions of her marriage to Lord Hurdly +were not a final answer? + +As for Bettina, she had also her longings to take advantage of +that interview, when they were speaking together in such friendly +converse, by telling him of the letter of confession which she had +received, but pride here took the place of common-sense, and bade +her to be silent. + +They had gone over all the papers together now. There was no longer +any excuse for lingering. He had given and repeated his assurances +that all these abuses which she so lamented should be remedied, and +she had thanked him again and again. Both felt that the time to part +had come. And yet both felt an impulse to postpone it. It was her +consciousness of this feeling which now made Bettina act. There was +an influence from his very presence which alarmed her. + +"I must go now," she said, her voice a shade unsteady. + +"No, it is I who am going," was the answer. "I return at once to +London, as I have neither the right nor the desire to intrude upon +your privacy. I wish to say, however, that I do not accept your +decision as to your future income. I beg you to give my wish, my +earnest request, your consideration. I shall write to you. Perhaps +I can put the case more clearly so. At all events, I shall try." + +Bettina shook her head. + +"You will simply waste your time," she said. "Nothing can change me +from my purpose of going at once to America, with no income but my +own little inheritance, and taking up my old life there." + +The word inheritance had suggested to both of them the thought of her +mother. They saw the consciousness in each other's eyes. + +"How can you take up your old life there," he said, "when the +presence which made its interest, its very atmosphere, is gone? It is +enough to kill you--and you will not have money to live elsewhere." + +The keen solicitude in voice and eyes could not be mistaken. It +was evident that he cared for what she might suffer--what might +ultimately become of her. The thought was rapture to her starved +and lonely heart. + +"I must bear it," she said, trying to control her voice as well as +her face. "Life will be no harder to me there than elsewhere." + +"You are wrong. In no other spot on earth will the loss of your +mother so oppress you. I know what that has been to you, by my +consciousness of what that possession was. And remember one thing, +which gives me some right to speak to you as I am doing now--I loved +your mother and she also loved me." + +At these words and the tones that accompanied them Bettina's strength +gave way. She dropped back in the seat from which she had risen, and, +hiding her face in her hands, burst into tears. + +She could not see the effect of her weeping on the man, who still +stood motionless and erect before her. She did not know that the +tears sprang into his eyes also, and that the whispered utterance of +her name was on his lips. + +He heard it, however, though she did not, and the knowledge that he +had lost control of himself made him turn away and walk to the other +end of the room. + +When he had stood there a few seconds, with his back turned, he heard +her voice, somewhat shaken, though with the accent of recovered +self-possession, saying, in a tone of summons, + +"Lord Hurdly--" + +An inward revolt sprung up at being so addressed by her. The name had +only sinister associations for him in any case, but to hear it from +Bettina's lips filled him with a sort of rage. + +"Lord Hurdly," she said again, and this time her voice had gained in +steadiness, until it sounded mechanical and hard. + +"I wish to express to you," she said, when he had drawn a little +nearer, "my thanks for your kind intentions concerning me. I can only +repeat, however, that my decision is quite fixed, and that I shall +carry out the plans I have made known to you. Do not urge me further. +Do not write to me. It will be useless. Let me go back to the life +from which you never should have taken me. You were mistaken in +me from the first, and I have been nothing but a trouble and a +hinderance to you. I am sorry. I ask you to forget it all if you can. +But, above all things, I ask, if you would really help me and serve +me in the one way in which I can be helped by you, that you will +consider that the present moment closes our intercourse in every way, +and will show me the respect, little as I deserve it, of proving to +me that in this one instance, at least, you believe me capable of +acting with rectitude and dignity, and of meaning what I say." + +He did not answer her. He only stood profoundly still and looked at +her. That gaze, the searching, scrutinizing power of it, made her +afraid. Trembling with terror of what she might reveal in answer to +it, she turned suddenly and vanished through a door behind her, +leaving him standing there, and with a consciousness that his keen +eyes were on her yet, reading what she so ardently desired to +conceal. + +Once in her own room, she locked the door, and then ran swiftly to +the window, which gave her a view of the terrace below. + +There she saw waiting a hired trap, with its driver drowsing in the +sunlight. As she looked, she saw the man from whom she had just +parted come rather slowly down the steps and get into the shabby +conveyance. His hat-brim hid the upper part of his face, but she saw +the stern set of his jaw, the bronzed pallor of his cheeks. + +She watched the little trap until it had disappeared behind some +great oaks, which were one of the glories of Kingdon Hall. In a +strange way she had come to love this stately old place, and it gave +her a pang to feel that she was about to look her last on it. This +feeling, however, was subordinated to another, which literally tore +her heart; this was that, by the use of every means of thought and +action within her power, she had quite determined never to run the +risk of seeing this man again. + +She knew that her only safety lay in flight, and she set to work at +once to make her preparations to fly. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +In the days that followed, Bettina's only resource was in bodily +activity. She wrote at once and took her passage on a steamer to sail +for America one week from the day of Horace's visit. Then, with +Nora's help, she set to work to do her packing. The French maid was +sent away, and her lady refused all other offers of service. + +Her first impulse had been to leave all her wardrobe and personal +belongings behind her, and this she would undoubtedly have done but +for the counteracting instinct to remove from any possibility of +the sight of the future occupant of these apartments any smallest +reminder of the late Lady Hurdly. No doubt another bearer of that +name would soon be installed in them, and to her the least reminder +of the beautiful Bettina who had once so strangely come to it would +naturally be offensive. + +With this thought in her mind, she eagerly helped Nora to collect +and pack away every trace of her ever having lived here. One record +of the fact it was out of her power to remove, and this was the +full-length portrait of her, in all the state and magnificence of her +proud position, which hung in the picture-gallery, and which Horace +had never seen. Neither had he ever seen her in such a guise, and, in +spite of her, there was a certain exultation in her breast when she +imagined the moment of his first beholding it. Another moment, +equally charged with mingled pride and pain, was the anticipation of +the time when the next bearer of the name and title should come to +have her portrait hung there. No Lady Hurdly who had come before +could bear the comparison with her, and she knew it. Was it not, +therefore, reasonable to believe that those who followed her might +suffer as much by the contrast? + +But these feelings of satisfaction in the consciousness of her +appropriateness to such a setting as Kingdon Hall were only +momentary, and many of those busy hours of work were interspersed +with lonely fits of weeping, when even Nora was excluded from her +mistress's room. The good creature, who had never been burdened with +mentality, went steadily on with her work and asked no questions; +yet it was not unknown to her that Bettina's unhappiness depended not +altogether upon the fact of her recent widowhood, or even upon the +disastrous consequences of it in her future life. + +Two or three times Nora had brought to her mistress letters in a +handwriting which she had not forgotten, and although she made no +sign of suspicion, she did connect these letters with Bettina's +unhappiness. + +Certainly it was no wonder that such letters as she received from +Horace now should have so desperately sad an influence on her. In +them he begged, argued, pleaded with her to grant him this one +request, even using her mother's name to touch and change her. +Indeed, there was a tone in these letters that she could scarcely +understand. Keenly conscious as she was of the injustice of which she +had been guilty toward him, it seemed incredible that he could so +ignore it as to manifest any personal interest in her on her own +account. She even felt a certain regret that he could so lose sight +of this flagrant fact. It had come to be a vital need to her to have +the ideal of Horace in her life. It was now almost more essential to +her to have something to admire than something to love. Under these +conditions she felt a certain sense of disappointment in him, that +he could seem to forget the deep wrong she had done him. And yet, in +utter contradiction to this feeling, his kind ignoring of it soothed +her tortured heart. + +She sent no answer to these letters. She even hoped that by taking +this course she might make the impression on him that she did not +read them. This was her design and her consolation, even while she +read and re-read them with a devouring eagerness. She never paused +to ask herself why this was. She avoided any investigation into +her feeling for Horace. It was enough that, in spite of all the +self-accusation and self-abasement which she carried in her heart, +this being who knew the very worst of her could still think her +worthy of kindness and respect. When she thought of this she felt as +if she could go on her knees to him. + +One fear was constantly before her mind, and that was that he might +seek a personal interview with her again. She dared not trust herself +to this, instinctively as she longed for it. It was, therefore, with +positive terror in her breast that she heard one morning from Nora +that Lord Hurdly was in the house, having come down by train from +London. + +"I cannot see him--I will not!" she cried, in an impassioned protest, +which only Nora could have seen her portray. + +"He did not ask to see you," said Nora. "I met him in the hall, and +he told me to say to you that he required some papers which were in +the library, and that he would, with your permission, like the use of +the room for a few hours. He told me to say that he had had luncheon, +and would not disturb you in any way." + +At these words Bettina felt a sinking of the heart, which was her +first consciousness of the sudden hope she had been entertaining. +This made her reproach herself angrily for such weakness and want +of pride, and with this feeling in her heart, she said, abruptly, + +"There is no answer to Lord Hurdly's message." + +"I beg your pardon," said Nora, hesitatingly, "but I am quite sure he +is expecting an answer." + +"I say there is no answer," Bettina repeated, with a sudden +sternness. "Lord Hurdly is in his own house. He can come and go as he +chooses. His asking permission of me is a mere farce." + +Nora ventured to say no more, and withdrew in silence, leaving her +mistress alone with the consciousness that Horace was in the very +house with her, and that at any moment she might, if she chose, go +to him and tell him all the truth. + +And why did she not? That old feeling between them was quite dead. +She had a right to clear herself from a condemnation which she did +not deserve--a right, at least, to make known the palliating +circumstances in the case. In any other conceivable instance she +would not have hesitated to do so. What was it, then, which made it +so impossible in this instance? + +The answer to this question leaped up in her heart, and so struggled +for recognition that she had an instinct to run away from herself +that she might not have to face it. She wanted to close her eyes, so +that she might shut out the truth that was before her mental vision, +and to put her hands over her ears, that she might not hear the voice +that clamored to her heart. + +Surely a part of this feeling was the compunction which she felt for +having wronged him. That she might openly acknowledge. But that was +not all. She was aware of something more in her own heart. Even that +she might have stifled, and, supported by her pride, might have +concisely told him of the error under which she had acted. But there +was still another thing that entered in. This was a faint, delicious, +disturbing, unacknowledged to her own heart, suspicion about Horace +himself. He had said nothing to warrant her in the belief that his +anxiety about her future was anything more than the satisfaction +of his own self-respect, but her heart had said things which she +trembled to hear, and there was a certain evidence of her eyes. In +leaving her the other day--or rather at the moment of her hurried +leaving of him--he had looked at her strangely. + +That look had lingered in her consciousness, and without effort she +could recall it now. In doing so her cheeks flushed, her heart beat +quicker. She felt tempted to woo the sweet sensation, and by every +effort of imagination to quicken it into keener life, but the +seductiveness of this temptation terrified her. + +She started from her seat and looked about her. How long had she sat +there musing--dreaming dreams which every instinct of womanly pride +compelled her to renounce? She wondered if he had gone. Once more +came that mingled hope and fear that he might seek an interview with +her before leaving. The hope was stronger than ever, and for that +reason the fear was stronger too. + +A footstep in the hall arrested her attention, and she stood +palpitating, with her hand upon her heart. It passed, leaving only +silence; but it had been a useful warning to her. Suppose, in her +present mood, Horace should make his way to her sitting-room and +knock for admittance. Would she--could she--send him away, with her +heart crying out for the relief of speech and confession to him as +it was doing now? + +With a hurried impulse she caught up a light wrap of dense black +material, and passed rapidly into the hall. Her impulse was to go out +of doors, to get away from the house until he should have left it; +but in order to do this from her apartments, she must pass by the +library, and this she feared to do. So she changed her purpose, and +stepping softly that no one might hear her, she entered the long +picture-gallery, and closed the door behind her with great care to +make no noise. Many of the blinds were closed, but down at the far +end where her picture hung there was some light, and with an +impulsive desire to look at this picture, with a view to the +impression that it might make on Horace when he should see it, she +glided noiselessly down the room toward it. + +The full-length portraits to right and left of her loomed vaguely +through the half-light. She glanced at each one as she passed slowly +along, with the feeling that she was taking leave of them forever. In +this way her gaze had been diverted from the direction of her own +portrait, and she was within a few yards of it when, looking straight +ahead of her, she saw between the picture and herself the figure of a +man. + +He stood as still as any canvas on the wall, and gazed upward to the +face before him. Bettina, as startled as if she had seen a ghost in +this dim-lighted room, stood equally still behind him, her hand over +her parted lips, as if to stifle back the cry that rose. + +And still he stood and gazed and gazed, while she, as if petrified, +stood there behind him, for moments that seemed to her endless. + +Presently she saw his shoulders raised by the inhalation of a +deep-drawn breath, which escaped him in an audible sigh. The sound +recalled her. Turning with a wild instinct of escape, she fled down +the long room, her black cape streaming behind her, and vanished in +the shadows out of which she had emerged. + +Somehow, she never knew how, she let herself out into the hall, and +thence she sped through the long corridor, down the stairs, past the +open door of the vacant library, and out into the grounds. She met +no one, and when at last she paused in the dense shadows of some +thick shrubbery, she had the satisfaction of feeling that she had +been unobserved. Here, too, she was quite secluded, and in the effort +to collect herself she sat down on the grass, her knees drawn up, her +forehead resting on them, her clasped hands strained about them. + +How long she remained so, while her leaping heart grew gradually +calmer, she did not know. + +A sound aroused her from her lethargy. It was the clear whistle of +some one calling a dog. She knew who it was before a voice said, + +"Here, Comrade--come to me, sir." + +The voice was not far off, but the shrubbery was between it and her. +She would have felt safe but for the dog. She did not move a muscle. + +The footsteps were drawing near her, and now bounding leaps of a +dog could be heard also. Both passed, and she began to breathe +more freely, when what she had dreaded came. The dog, stopping his +gambols, began to sniff about him. The next moment he had bounded +through the shrubbery and was yelping gleefully at her side. + +Instantly she sprang to her feet and stood there, slight and tall and +straight in her long black wrap, the image of pallid woe. All the +blood had left her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified. + +It was so that she appeared to the man who, parting the branches of +the thick foliage, stood silent and surprised before her. She might +have been the very spirit of widowhood, so desolate she looked. + +Raising his hat automatically, he said, in a strained, unnatural +voice, "Can I do anything for you?" + +She tried to speak, but speech eluded her. + +"I beg your pardon," he said, "but can I do anything for you, Lady +Hurdly?" + +Oh, that name! She had had an instinct to free herself at last from +the burden she had borne, and to tell him, in answer to his question, +that he could do this for her--he could hear her tell of the wretched +treachery by which she had been led to do him such a wrong, and of +the misery of its consequences in her life. But the utterance of that +name recalled her to herself. It reminded her not only who she was, +but also who and by what means he was also. + +[Illustration: "THE VERY SPIRIT OF WIDOWHOOD"] + +"Leave me," she said, throwing out her hand with a repellent gesture. +"I have gone through much, and I am not strong. If you have any +mercy, any kindness, leave me to myself. It is not proper, perhaps, +that I should ask any favor of you, but I do. I beg you not to speak +or write to me again until I have done what must be done here, and +gone away from this place and this country forever." + +There was an instant's silence, during which Comrade nestled close to +her and tried to lick her hand, all the time looking longingly at +Horace. Then a voice, constrained and low, said, sadly: "I will grant +your favor, Lady Hurdly. What of the favor I have asked of you?" + +"I cannot. It is impossible," she cried. "Surely I have been +humiliated enough without that. It is the one thing you have in your +power to do for me, never to mention that subject again." + +"I shall obey you," he said; "but in return I ask that you will not +forget my request of you, though you have forced me to silence. While +a wrong so gross as that goes unrepaired I can never rest. Remember +this, and that you have it in your power to relieve me of this +burden. Now I will go." + +He turned and vanished through the shrubbery, Comrade after him. + +Bettina sank upon the ground, covering her face with the long drapery +of her cape. Suddenly she felt a touch. Her heart leaped, and she +uncovered her head, showing the light of a great hope in her eyes. + +But it was only Comrade, nestling close to her, with human-eyed +compassion. She threw her arms around him, and pressed her face +against his shaggy side. + +"Did he send you to me, Comrade," she whispered, "because he knew +that I was miserable and alone?" + +The gentle creature whined and wagged his tail as if in desperate +effort to reply. + +"I know he did! I know he did!" she cried. "Oh, how kind and good and +unrevengeful he is! And I can never tell him the truth. I can never +tell that to any human being, Comrade, but I'll tell it to you." She +drew his head close to her lips and whispered a few words in his ear. + +Then she sprang to her feet, a great light in her eyes, as she threw +her arms upward with an exultant movement, and cried, as if to some +unseen witness up above, "I have said it!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +After this Bettina went about her preparations for departure with a +spirit of calm and collectedness which came from the knowledge of +herself, which she had at last fully accepted. Hundreds of times in +these last few days her mother's words had come back to her: "The day +will come when you will know what you are incapable even of imagining +now--what is the one perfect love and complete union that can ever be +between two human beings.... Test the world, if you will--and your +nature demands that you shall test it--but you will live to say one +day: 'My mother knew. My mother's words have come true.'" + +It was even so. She knew now, at last, and the knowledge had come to +her when inexorable necessity compelled her to separate herself +forever from the man who, not suddenly, but by a system of gradual +evolution--from the crude emotions of her girlhood through the +growing consciousness of later years--had now manifested himself to +her as all her heart could desire, all her spirit could crave, all +her mature womanhood could need. She realized that he had long been +this to her, but with a thick veil between herself and him which had +hid the truth from her. The reading of the letter given her by Mr. +Cortlin had torn that veil apart, and she saw him as he was, the man +of her ideal. She did not, at the same moment, see her own heart as +it was. This vision had come to her with her renewed intercourse with +Horace, who had appeared before her now the ripe product of the noble +possibilities which she had vaguely perceived in him once, when she +had cared too little to think deeply of him in any way. + +Oh, to have kept the place she had once had at his dear side! To have +shared with him the privations of a life that would have been narrow +and obscure indeed compared with the one which she had known in its +stead, but, oh, how rich in the way she had now come to count riches! + +Thoughts like these she had to fight against. Perhaps in the end they +would conquer, and would hunt her to the death; but now, until she +could get out of the country, she must put them down. + +She had only a few days left, and she determined to devote a part of +these to some farewell visits among the tenants. As far as she had +been able to do, she had made friends with these poor folk, and had +given what she could to relieve their necessities; but, in comparison +with what was needed, the money at her command had seemed pitifully +small. + +When Lady Hurdly, dressed in her deep widow's mourning, descended the +steps of her stately residence and entered the waiting carriage, +whose black-liveried servants saluted her respectfully, she had a +consciousness that servants and tenants alike must feel a certain +commiseration for the great lady, such as they had known her, now +sunk to poverty as well as obscurity. This feeling made her manner a +little colder and prouder then usual as she sat alone in the sunshine +of a lovely autumn morning and was driven between the beautiful +English hedgerows and through the fertile fields which she had +learned to love. How soon would all be changed for her! And changed +to what? The isolated exile of a place filled with the haunting +memories of the past--her mother, whom she had lost forever, and her +young lover, who was as absolutely lost to her. + +Strangely to herself, it was the latter that she felt to be the +keener pain. To the former she was reconciled; as we do, sooner or +later, reconcile ourselves to the inevitable; but the supreme sting +of this other grief was that she felt it need not have been. Sitting +there in her carriage, the object of much eager attention, she felt +so desolate and wretched that it was with difficulty that she kept +back her tears. + +She dreaded the ordeal before her. She felt that she must take leave +of these people and say a word of kindness to them, since she was so +miserably unable to do more; but these visits were always depressing. +Since the tenants had discovered that they had a sympathetic listener +in her, they had luxuriated in the pouring out of their sorrows. Of +course they had not ventured to accuse her husband of being connected +with them, but the lesson was one that he who ran might read. + +So, when the carriage stopped at the door of the first cottage, she +had made up her mind that she could not stand much in the way of +these miserable confidences to-day, and would make her visits short. + +But when she entered the house she was conscious of a total change of +atmosphere. Every creature in the room gave proof of this, according +to his or her kind. The old woman who sat knitting by the hearth +looked up at her with a dim twinkle in the eyes that had heretofore +expressed nothing but a consciousness that things were bad and +getting worse; and the children, who, indeed, had taken little count +of the depression of their elders, now manifestly shared their relief +from it. It was their mother who, with a strange smile of hope on her +careworn face and a fervent clasping together of her work-worn hands, +made the explanation to the visitor. + +But this explanation, when it had been heard, was almost more of an +ordeal to Bettina than the one which she had feared. Certainly it +made a stronger demand upon her power of self-control. For the +key-note of it all was Horace. He had been here before her, and had +done, or promised to have done, all that she had so passionately +wished to do. His name was on their lips continually; even the little +children lisped it. It was "his lordship this" and "his lordship +that," in a way that furnished a strange contrast to the studied +avoidance of the word under former conditions. + +Somehow, glad as she was, it was hard for Bettina to bear. In the +midst of the accounts of what his lordship had done and said, and +how he was to right all their wrongs and make everybody happy, she +got up and took a hurried leave. + +What was the use of her staying here? What was a little sympathetic +feeling, more or less, to these wretchedly poor creatures? It was +their material needs that they wished satisfied, and a stronger hand +than hers was at work on these. And if--as seemed so plain, as she +could so well imagine from her own knowledge of him--he was able and +willing to give them the sympathy and interest as well as the +practical help they needed, where was any use for her? There was +none--nobody needed her, she told herself, desperately, and the +sooner she lost herself in the oblivion of America the better. + +Each cottage that she visited showed the same metamorphosis in its +inmates. A lame boy to whom she had once given a pair of crutches had +a new wheel-chair, and the crutches were thrown in a corner. A sick +child for whom she had bought some prepared food, which it had not +been able to take, had been sent off to a hospital for regular +treatment, and its poor mother was enjoying the first rest of many +years, with a consciousness that the child was better off than it +could possibly be with her. An old man who had been long bedridden, +and to whom she had sent some clean bedclothes, had been moved into +another room with complete new furnishings, while the occupant of +this room had been sent elsewhere, so that the distressing sense of +over-crowdedness for sick and well was entirely gone from the house. + +In almost every cottage that she visited she saw the same evidences. +How pitiful her own efforts seemed beside these! What was heart +compared with hand? What was sympathy compared with money? And was +she so sure that she gave even the sympathy? She felt in her breast +now no sense of pity for their suffering, no consciousness even of +rejoicing in their relief. The only feeling there--and it seemed to +fill her whole heart--was pity for her own numb, gnawing +wretchedness, for which there could be no relief. + +When the last hurried visit was ended, she drove home, completely +unnerved. Her black veil was lowered before her face, and though she +sat erect and composed to outward seeming, the tears rained down her +cheeks. + +Her remaining days at Kingdon Hall were spent in a state of such +listlessness and inertia that Nora began to fear that she was going +to be ill. She urged her mistress to send for the doctor; but, for +answer, Bettina burst into tears, declaring that she was not ill, and +begging Nora to do everything for her that was necessary to get her +off on the steamer on which she had taken passage, as she felt unable +to do anything herself. + +How the intervening hours passed she never knew; but, as if taking +part in a dream, she went through them all, and at last found herself +settled in her state-room, with Nora to take care of her, and no one +to spy on her or notice what she did. Asking Nora, as piteously as a +child, to help her to undress, she went to bed, and from that bed she +did not rise until the ship had touched another shore, and the +breadth of the world lay between herself and Horace. + +How glad she would have been to lie there and sail on forever, freed +from her responsibility to the future, as she was from that to the +past! + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +It was when Bettina was a matter of three hours out at sea that Lord +Hurdly arrived at Kingdon Hall, and, on being admitted, ordered the +servant to say to Lady Hurdly that he wished to see her. His surprise +was great when the man informed him that Lady Hurdly had that day +sailed for America. + +Dismissing the servant, he went to the library and shut himself up +there alone. How strangely was this house altered to him in one +moment's time! Just now he had felt a presence in it which had made +every atom of it significant. Now, how dead, empty, meaningless, it +had suddenly become! + +The effect of this change was almost startling to him, and for the +first time he had the courage to face himself and to demand of his +own soul an explanation. + +He was a man of a peculiarly uncomplex nature. When, on meeting +Bettina, he for the first time fell deeply in love, he had looked +upon the matter as a finality, and he had never ceased so to regard +it. When she deserted him, without giving him a chance to speak, he +had, in the overwhelming bitterness of his heart, forsworn all women. +It had never occurred to him to put another in Bettina's place. For a +long time a passionate resentment possessed him. When he knew that +Bettina had married his cousin, this resentment had had two objects +to feed upon instead of one; but at first the bitterness of his anger +against the being in whom he had supremely believed greatly +outweighed that against the being in whom he had never believed. Lord +Hurdly had never had it in his power to wound and anger him as +Bettina could. So, when he got transferred from St. Petersburg to +Simla, it was with the instinct of removing himself as far as +possible from Bettina. Of the other he scarcely thought. + +When, however, the first consternation of the sudden blow was over, +and he grew calm enough to be capable of anything like temperate +thought, he tried to imagine how this strange state of things had +come about. + +Obviously Bettina must have sought Lord Hurdly out, and it was almost +certain that she had done this with a view to mediating between him +and his offending heir. He recalled her having said, more than once, +that she intended to win him over, and he pictured to himself what +had probably transpired in the fulfilment of her plan. Lord Hurdly, +who was notoriously indifferent to women, saw in Bettina a new type, +and, as consequent events proved, became possessed of the wish to +have her for his wife. This being so, he had probably not scrupled as +to the means to this end. Gradually, from having held Bettina chiefly +guilty, Horace began to feel that it was quite possible that she had +been less so than the artful and determined man, who had undoubtedly +brought to bear on her all the wiles of which he was master. + +What the wiles were, how unscrupulously they were employed to effect +any end that he had in view, Horace was now more than ever aware. + +And every fresh revelation of them tended to soften him toward +Bettina. He was in the habit of trusting his instincts, and these had +as determinedly declared to him that his cousin was false. On his +return to England, after Lord Hurdly's death, both of these instincts +had found ample confirmation. The more he looked into the affairs of +his predecessor, in his relations to his tenants, his family, his +lawyers, and the world at large, the more did his mistrust and +condemnation of him deepen, while, as for Bettina, it took little +more than the impression of his first interview with her to restore +almost wholly his old belief in her truth and nobleness. + +On the basis of her having been deceived by Lord Hurdly about him, he +could forgive her her marriage. Where would her desolate heart have +turned for comfort? And he knew her nature well enough to realize +that what Lord Hurdly had to offer might have seemed likely to serve +her as a substitute for happiness. He knew, moreover, that Bettina +had never loved him in the sense in which he had loved her, and this +fact made his judgment gentler. + +As he stood there alone, in the great house, strangely empty now that +her rich presence was removed from it, he wished with all his heart +that he had gone to her, and forcing her to look at him with those +candid eyes of hers, had said: "Bettina, tell me the truth. Why did +you do it?" Oh, if he only had! + +Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might +have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of +such a speech, or she might have given him to understand that what +appeared true was really true--namely, that his cousin's splendid +offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to +hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The +thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and +career quite apart from her. + +This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had +satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to +Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had +given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew--her own mother had +avowed it to him--that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the +same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart. +What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the +emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers +was breaking in its loneliness. + +But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his +eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory +out of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and +decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to +consider her, both heartless and false! + +Fortified by the bitter support of this conception of her, he left +the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the +complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed +swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long +picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish +portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what +feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before +that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might +ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that +he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the +gracious image and walked away. + +It was not long, however, before he found himself in Bettina's own +apartments. These he remembered well, and in the main they were +unchanged. Yet what a subtle difference he felt in them! Here on this +great gloomy bed had that poor orphan girl slept, or else lain +wakeful in the dread consciousness which must have come to her when +once she realized the nature and character of the man to whom she had +given herself in marriage. Here in this stately mirror had she seen +herself arrayed in the splendid clothes which were the poor price for +which she had sold her birthright. He stood and looked at himself in +the mirror, with an uncanny feeling that behind his own image there +was that of the beautiful Bettina, whom once he had thought to +protect forever by his love and strength and tenderness, and who now, +with only a hired servant, was alone in the great shipful of +strangers, on her way to the loneliness of that empty little village +which her mother's presence had once so adequately filled for her. + +He went to the wardrobe and opened the door, hoping to find some +trace of Bettina. But no; all was orderly and void. Then he passed on +to the dressing-table and opened the drawers, one by one. In the last +there lay a small hair-pin of fine bent wire. He had an impulse to +take it, but, with a muttered imprecation on his folly, he called to +aid his recent resolution, and hastily left the room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Bettina had been in her old home a week--long enough to recuperate +from her journey and begin to take up her life, such as it was to be. +She would gladly have relaxed entirely and lain in bed to be waited +on and tended by Nora, had this been possible. But she had wearied of +the physical rest, which only made her mental restlessness the +greater, and she had an impulse to reach out her empty hands so that +somehow, somewhence they might be filled. + +The neighbors had called on her promptly, but she could not see them. +They reminded her too much of the mother she had lost. Mr. Spotswood +had also called, but he was a reminder of the other loss, now the +more poignant of the two. When she excused herself to him also he +wrote her a note--the conventional thing, and that merely. It seemed +strangely lacking in the solicitude and affection which she had a +right to expect from her old friend and rector. Bettina was struck +with this, and instantly there flashed over her a reason for it. It +was only natural that he should feel a certain resentment of her +jilting of one of his cousins, even though she had done it in favor +of another and more important one. She remembered that the rector had +been extremely fond of Horace, and at this thought she had a sudden +desire to see him. So she wrote him a note and asked him to come. + +It was so long since she had talked with any one, and she was so +nervous after all her morbid imagining, that she was feeling utterly +unlike the old self-reliant, active-minded girl he remembered when +the rector entered the room. She also, on her part, was unprepared +for the feelings aroused by the sight of him; and when he came in, +his grave face and gentle manner so entirely unchanged, in contrast +to all the changes she had undergone, Bettina felt a sudden tendency +to tears. The thought of her mother also helped to weaken her, and +the thought of Horace was a still harder strain on her endurance. + +She saw a certain constraint in his manner first, as she had +perceived it in his note. She felt unaccountably hurt by it, and when +he took her hand a little coldly and inquired for her health, a rush +of feelings overwhelmed her and she burst into tears. + +In evident surprise, the visitor tried to soothe her as best he +could. Naturally supposing that this grief was in consequence of her +recent widowhood, he pressed her hand, and said, gently: + +"I trust you are not overtaxing yourself by seeing me, my child. If +you had preferred not to do so I should not have misunderstood. Your +bereavement is so recent that--" + +But Bettina, trying to silence her sobs, interrupted him. + +"Oh, forgive me, Mr. Spotswood," she said. "I had not thought I +should break down like this. I have been perfectly calm. It is not +what you suppose. Oh, I feel so wretched, so lonely, so bewildered! I +would give the world if I could speak out my heart to one human +being." + +The rector looked surprised, but visibly softened. + +"To whom may you speak if not to me, Bettina?" he said. "Surely, +whatever trouble is on your heart, you may count upon my sympathy." + +Bettina did not speak. With her face hid in her pocket-handkerchief +she shook her head, as if in dissent from the idea of his sympathy. + +Feeling rather helpless, he changed his tactics, in an honest +endeavor to get at the real cause of her trouble. + +"Naturally, my child," he said, "the sight of me brings back the +thought of your beloved mother. Such a sorrow--" + +But again she interrupted him, this time by a silent gesture of the +hand. Then she said: + +"It is not that. I've got used to that ache, and although my heart +would not be my heart without it, that is a silent and accepted +sorrow now. Oh, Mr. Spotswood," she said, impetuously, uncovering +her tear-stained face and looking at him with the helplessness +of a child, "you are a clergyman; you teach that God is love and +compassion and forgiveness; you have a kind heart! I know you have. +Perhaps if I could tell you all I have suffered, and how deeply I +have repented, you would be sorry for me, and not blame me as much +as I deserve to be blamed." + +She was looking at him tentatively, as if to see how far she could +trust to the forbearance of which she felt she had now such need. + +The rector's heart was deeply touched. This show of humility in the +high-spirited, self-willed girl that he remembered took him by +surprise. + +"It could never be my impulse to blame you, my dear child, and the +less so when I see how bitterly you are blaming yourself for this +unknown thing. If you will tell me about it, I will do all that may +be in my power to help you. At all events, you may count upon my +loving sympathy." + +"Ah, if I only could! It would be much to me now. But you are +ignorant of what you are promising. In a certain way it concerns +yourself, or at least a member of your family." + +She saw a slightly hardened look come into his face, but it quickly +gave way to a gentler one. + +"No matter what it is, if you have suffered and repented, the best +sympathy of my heart is yours." + +"You will regard it as a confidence--a sacred confidence?" said +Bettina. "I could only tell you with that understanding. I know that +a clergyman is accustomed to keeping the secrets of his people, and I +could not say a word unless I were sure that this thing would rest +forever between you and me." + +[Illustration: "'TRULY, MY CHILD, IT IS A WRETCHED STORY'"] + +Wishing to soothe her in every possible way, the rector gave her +his promise to keep sacred what she might tell him; and thus +reassured, poor Bettina opened her heart. The relief of it was so +exquisite and the experience was so rare, that she told it all with +the abandonment of a child at its mother's knee, and with a degree of +self-accusation that might well have disarmed condemnation, as indeed +it did. + +Up to the time of her meeting with Horace in England, she kept back +nothing, describing with absolute truth her feelings as well as her +conduct. When she had reached that point, however, a sense of +instinctive reserve came to her, and a few brief sentences described +what had happened since. + +At the end of her recital she paused, looking eagerly into the +rector's face, as if she both hoped and feared what he might say. + +"Truly, my child, it is a wretched story," he began, as if a little +careful in the choosing of his words, "but the knowledge of it has +deepened instead of lessened my sympathy for you. Your fault has been +very great, but so is your sense of compunction; and as far as +suffering can expiate, surely you have done much to atone. My own +knowledge of the character of the late Lord Hurdly was such that I +cannot pretend to be greatly surprised at what you have told me +concerning him. I regret to say it, but justice must be done to the +living as well as to the dead. The present Lord Hurdly will prove, I +trust and believe, an honor to the name. My intercourse with him has +been comparatively limited, but no young man has ever inspired me +with a stronger sense of confidence. So much do I feel this that I +will confess to a strong desire that he should know upon what ground +you acted toward him as you did. I have given my word to you, +however, and perhaps it is as well. That poor man so lately gone to +his account has stains enough upon his memory without this added one. +And when I think of Horace--what he has suffered through the +treachery of his kinsman--I feel that it is perhaps kindest to him +also to leave this dark secret in the oblivion which buries it in our +two hearts." + +Bettina seemed not to hear his last words. + +"He has suffered? You think he has suffered, and through me?" + +"Is it possible that you can doubt it?" + +"He gave no sign," began Bettina, hesitatingly. + +"To you--certainly not. How could he?" + +"Did he to you?" she said, breathlessly. + +The rector looked at her with a sort of sad scrutiny, and was silent +a moment. Then he said: + +"He wrote me one letter--the most brokenhearted expression of +suffering I have ever read. It was before your marriage, when he +still had some slight hope that you had mistaken your own feelings, +in the statement of them which you had made in your letter to him. +But then came the announcement of your marriage, since which time +your name has not been mentioned between us." + +"Did you keep that letter?" she said. + +"I did." + +"Will you let me see it?" + +"I am afraid I cannot properly do that." + +"I beg that you will, Mr. Spotswood. You would be doing me a very +great favor, and for your cousin's sake also I think I may venture to +ask it. I was told that he was 'fickle and capricious, incapable of a +sustained affection,' and much more in the same line. I should be +truly glad to know that this was false." + +"I can give you my word for that." + +"But you can give me also his word, if you will," she said, +beseechingly. "Oh, my dear, dear friend, I too have suffered, and I +believe that what I have endured is the worst of pain, for it comes +from the knowledge of wrong to another. You cannot take away that +pain, but perhaps you can restore to me a lost ideal. I had come to +think that there was no such thing as love--real love--in the world; +to believe not only that the man who had professed it for me was +false in that profession, but that it really did not exist. Let me +see that letter. It is an impersonal thing to me now, but I feel that +it would strengthen me for all my future life. I am going to try to +be good; indeed I am," she said, her lips trembling like a child's. +"If I feel that that letter would help me, why may I not see it?" + +The rector hesitated visibly; then he said: + +"You shall see it, Bettina. I cannot feel that it will do any harm, +and it will be an act of justice, perhaps, to him as well as to you. +Whoever represented him to be lacking in depth of feeling has done +him a wrong indeed. I had no need to have this proved to me, but if +there be such a need in any breast, the reading of this letter must +do away with it." + +In a few moments he rose to take leave, having promised to send the +letter to her. + +"Will you send it at once?" she asked. "May Nora go with you and +bring it back?" + +In the stress of her feeling she forgot the impression that her +eagerness might make; but it had not been lost upon the rector, who +pondered all these things in his heart as he went homeward. + +When he had given the letter to Nora, and she had taken it to her +mistress, he wondered if he had done well. Bettina had not pretended +that she had really loved the man to whom she had first engaged +herself. The preoccupied interest and affection which she had given +him then were not misrepresented in her confession to the rector, +and she had been absolutely silent as to her subsequent and present +feeling toward him. All that she said, the whole burden of her song, +was that she had so wronged him in that past time; never once had she +hinted at the possibility of any renewal of relations between them. + +In spite of all this, the rector knew Bettina well, and he recognized +the fact that she was under the dominion of some larger and deeper +feeling than he had ever known her to have except her affection for +her mother. And had even that, he asked himself, so permeated her +whole being--mind, soul, and character--as this feeling in which he +now saw her so absorbed? He answered that it had not. It was, +therefore, taking a certain responsibility upon himself to show this +letter. But he was acting in the interest of truth and justice, and +he could not find it in his heart to regret what he had done. + +Temperate, judicious, deliberate as the rector was in all his mental +processes, he could not imagine that any result could come from the +course which he had taken, except some very remote one. Bettina had +shown plainly her determination never to divulge to Horace the +contents of Mr. Cortlin's letter; he was under promise to keep the +secret also, so there was no ground upon which the intercourse +between them could be renewed. Besides this, Bettina was but recently +become a widow. The proprieties of the situation demanded absolute +seclusion for a year at least, and, in Mr. Spotswood's consciousness, +propriety was supreme. He never took count of the fact that +conventions could be disregarded by any right-minded person, and to +this extent at least he conceived Bettina to be right-minded. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +The reading of that letter from Horace to the rector was a crisis in +Bettina's life. Its effect upon her was singular. When she eagerly +took in those pages filled with such anguish as possesses the heart +but once or twice in a lifetime, the consciousness that it was she, +Bettina, who had created such a love in the heart of the man that +Horace Spotswood was to her now, so exhilarated her that she was +capable of but one feeling--exultation. To have had this love, though +now she had it not, seemed to glorify her life. To have caused him +such sorrow--how greatly he had cared! In spite of all there was +rapture in it! + +That mood was followed by one of intense regret--an excoriating +self-accusation that made her spirit writhe before her own bar of +justice. Then, by degrees, when there came a moment of comparative +calm, she forced herself to recognize the fact that it was the +Bettina of the past who had been so loved, and that the man who had +so loved her was that youthful and impulsive Horace. Was not the +present Bettina, the slightingly treated widow of his cousin, a very +different being--as different as was the present Lord Hurdly from +that old and outgrown other self? Surely the change in both was +great--a change which she construed as absolutely to her own +disadvantage as it was to his advantage. + +Yet, in spite of this, that letter brought a strange strength to +her heart. Since it was now so plain that he had so truly, so +worshippingly loved her, she felt a summons to her soul to be her +highest possible, to overcome the slothful and the evil in her, and +live as it became the woman who had been so loved by such a man. +Above all, she longed to make her life avail for the good of others, +that she might make it a thank-offering for what she had received in +the knowledge that had come to her through that letter. + +For, after its perusal, she knew that never again could she entertain +the doubts which had so often filled her mind at the thought of the +complete silence in which Horace had accepted her rejection of him. +Sometimes she had fancied that it might have been a relief to him--a +way out of a difficult situation; but now forever in her heart she +could carry the proud consciousness that she had been as passionately +loved as she had been desperately regretted. + +It was a strange source, perhaps, from which to draw strength, but it +availed her now. With a sudden renewal of the energy of her youth she +began to look about her for work which she might do. Fortunately the +rector was ready with practical, immediate employment for heart and +hand, and pocket, too, alas! for now the fact was forced upon her +consciousness that she was poor. It would be as one of themselves, +only somewhat different in degree, that she must help these suffering +ones, and, in spite of being hampered by this limitation, there was a +certain sweetness in it. Her work among the poor had begun at Kingdon +Hall, and there she had been often baffled by the sense of the +difference between herself and those whom she wished to help. She +knew that this consciousness was in their hearts as well as in hers, +and that it made an impalpable but positive barrier. But now and here +all was different. She longed for the money that would have enabled +her to do so much more, and yet she felt it, somehow, sweet to be as +they. Her consciousness of her own past wrong-doing had so penetrated +her soul with humility that she was like a totally different being. + +She had said nothing to the rector of her determination not to touch +the money that her late husband had left her, but she strictly +adhered to this resolve. It was impossible. She simply felt she could +not. She found no difficulty in forgiving him for all that he had +done. She was too tender-hearted to bear malice toward the dead, +but she could not touch his money. Since she had once thought about +it--receiving food and clothes and comforts from his hands--she had +realized that it was an impossibility. She knew that the money was +deposited in bank for her, but there it might remain. She had told +Horace that she would not touch it, and he should see that she would +keep her word. + +Then came a thought that made her smile. He had wished to force upon +her the acceptance of a larger sum, because it was not proper that +Lord Hurdly's widow should live otherwise than in pomp and +circumstance. If he could see her now! This it was that made her +smile. + +She had shut up all the house except the rooms on the first floor, in +which she and Nora lived alone. She kept no other servant, and this +economy it was that enabled her to give to others. She had almost no +personal wants, and the income which had sufficed for her mother and +herself was more than enough for her alone. A little sting of injured +pride there had been at first, when her poverty became apparent to +the neighbors, who naturally expected her to enlarge rather than +curtail her expenses; but she soon got the better of this. The issues +of her life were in a wider field than mere neighborhood comment, +and, besides this, her friends and associates were now chosen chiefly +from the class who were too ignorant for such comment and +speculation. + +For Bettina had thrown herself with a passionate fervor into the work +which her hands had found to do. The one assuagement for the pain in +her own heart seemed to be the alleviation of the pain in other +hearts. She felt, also, a sense of thankfulness for the knowledge +which had come to her through the rector, which made the whole work +and service of her life seem all too little for her to give in return +for this boon. As for Horace, her feeling for him was akin to +worship. It was he who represented to her henceforth the ideal which, +like a fixed star, should give light to her path, though so +immeasurably far above her. + +What a strange life was this into which she had now entered! She felt +the certainty that her courage would be sufficient for it, but with +all her resolution she could not always keep back the bitter tears of +her wordless, hopeless, uncontrollable longing. At times this was a +thing so mighty that she had the feeling that, if her body were only +as strong as her spirit, she would be able to swim through those +thousands of watery miles that separated them, only to tell him the +truth, and then lay down her life at his feet. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +It was one of Bettina's weary days. Its hours had lagged and dragged +until the evening had come, and she had sunk down, exhausted and +depressed, in a big old-fashioned chair in front of her wood fire, +which seemed the only ray of cheerfulness within or without. She had +had these feelings before, and she knew that they would probably +pass, but never before had it been so borne in upon her that life was +sad and wretched alike for those whom she was trying to help and for +her who was so in need of help herself--little as they dreamed it. +Were they worth helping, those poor evil-environed creatures who so +continually disappointed her hopes and efforts? Was she worth +helping, either--weak, aimless creature that she was--who had vowed +to be content in the mere consciousness that Horace lived, and that +he had once supremely loved her, and then again and again had fallen +into this hopeless discontent which thirsted so for what she had +pledged herself to give up--the possession of that love to satisfy +the present hour's need? + +She lay back in the big deep chair, her white hands loosely grasping +its arms, and her white lids lowered. Now and then a tear would +trickle from beneath those lids and a slight contraction of pain +would move her lips. Any one looking in upon her so might well have +wondered where were the friends and companions of this beautiful, +lonely woman, shut into this small room, in the silence of a twilight +that hung damp and gray outside, and that the smouldering fire +lighted but fitfully within, while the low murmur of flames fitfully +broke the silence. + +Not a sound escaped her lips. She gazed longingly, sadly into the +glowing heart of the fire, and saw visions and dreamed dreams, but +not pleasing ones; they only served to make her sadness deeper. + +Presently the door opened, and Nora came in with the lamp. Glancing +at her mistress, who did not move, the woman then went out and +brought a small tea-service on a tray. + +"Don't light the kettle yet, Nora," said a low voice from the depths +of the chair. The speaker did not move; her manner was that of a +person who deprecated the least noise or intrusion, and Nora took +the hint and silently put down the tray. Then, in the same dull tone, +her mistress said: + +"I know you want to go to church. Go. I can make tea for myself when +I want it." + +Nora, in comprehending silence, left the room. + +Still the relaxed figure in the chair moved not. The fire whiffed and +crackled now and then, but beyond this there was no sound. The +lamplight showed more plainly the fair youth and loveliness of that +black-clad form, which never, in its most brilliant days, had looked +so exquisite as now, when there was none to gaze upon its beauty or +to share its solitude. The hands were ringless, for Bettina had taken +off her wedding-ring after the reading of the letter which the lawyer +had brought her, and with it she had renounced the last vestige of +allegiance to her late husband's memory. There was no bitterness in +her heart toward him. Simply he existed not, as though he had never +been. + +Vaguely she heard the sound of Nora's departure, as the door was +closed behind her, and still she sat there wordless, motionless, +almost breathless as it appeared, for her bosom scarcely seemed to +move. + +Presently there came two tears from under the closed lids; then +quickly others followed them. The sense that she was freed even from +the danger of Nora's observation weakened her more and more. Then +with the helpless, whispering tones of an unhappy child, she said: + +"My God, how desolate I am! How can I bear it? How long must it +endure?" + +Still she did not move except to raise her lids and cast upward her +tear-drenched eyes, while she caught her lower lip between her teeth. + +Suddenly there was a step upon the piazza--a man's step, as if in +haste. She started and sat upright. Who could it be? No man except +the rector ever visited her, and this was not the rector's step. She +hastily brushed away the traces of her tears and sat listening. + +Then came a tap at the door--not loud, but firm, distinct, decided. +It sounded strange to her, unlike the tap of any messenger or servant +who had ever come to her house. + +She got up, leaving the door of the sitting-room open that the light +might enter the dark hall. + +Then, most unaccountably, a sense of fear, very unusual to her, +seemed to possess her. She stood still a moment in the hall and +waited. + +The knock was repeated, so near this time that it made her start. She +was not naturally a timid woman, but she felt a sense of physical +fear which was totally unreasoning. What harm was likely to come to +her from such a source? She compelled herself to go forward and open +the door. + +It was very dark outside, and she vaguely distinguished the outline +of a tall man standing before her. The light from the open door at +her back threw out her figure in distinct relief, and it was evident +that she had been recognized, for a voice said, in low but distinct +tones, + +"Lady Hurdly." + +She gave a cry and pressed both hands against her breast, sharply +drawing in her breath. Then she took a few steps backward, throwing +out one hand to support herself against the wall. + +"Forgive me," said the well-known voice--the voice out of all the +world to which her blood-beats answered. "I have come on you too +suddenly. I ought to have written and asked permission to call. I +should have done so, only I feared you might deny me." + +Somehow the door was closed behind them and they had made their way +into the lighted room. Bettina, still pale and breathless, began to +murmur some excuses. + +"I beg your pardon; I was frightened. Nora had gone out, and I was +all alone. I did not know who it might be. I never have visitors, and +I was afraid to open the door." + +He was looking at her keenly. + +"You should not be alone like this," he said, both resentment and +indignation in his tone. "Why do you never have visitors? Why did +Nora leave you? Where are the other servants?" + +"There are no others. There is only Nora," she said, recovering +herself a little. "I let her go to church to-night. I am not usually +afraid. Why should I be? Perhaps I am not very well." As she uttered +these incoherent sentences she sank into a chair and he took one near +her. + +The expression of his face had changed from anxiety to a stern +sadness. + +"And you live alone like this," he said, "without proper service or +protection? And, in spite of all that I could say and do, you will +not take the miserable pittance which is your own, and which is +wasted there in the bank, where it can avail for no one? Do you think +this is right to yourself--or kind to me?" + +The quiet reproach of his tone disturbed her. + +"I do not mean to be unkind," she said, her voice not quite steady, +"and indeed I have all that I need. Nora has more than time to attend +to me, and as for company, it is because I do not want it that I do +not have it." + +"And you think you can live without companionship?" he said. "You +will find you are mistaken; but of that I have no right to speak. +There is one subject, however, on which I do claim this right, and it +is the fulfilment of this purpose which has brought me to America." + +"You came all this way to see me?" she said, lifting her brows as if +in gentle deprecation. "You were always kind." Her voice broke and +she said no more. + +"It is not a question of kindness," he said. "It is a matter of the +simplest right and duty. Will you hear me? Are you able to hear me +to-night, or shall I come again to-morrow?" + +"Speak now," she said. "I am perfectly well, and am ready to hear +whatever you may have to say." + +Her voice gave proof of a recovered self-control. The necessity of +making this a final interview between them was borne in upon her, and +sitting very still and erect, with her hands clasped tightly +together, she waited to hear what he might say. + +"Your leaving England so suddenly," he began, "was, as I need not +say, a disappointment to me. I had hoped to change your mind and +purpose concerning the acceptance not only of money which is your own +by legal right, but of such as is also yours by every rational law of +possession. It was to me an insupportable idea that you should go +away without the means of living as becomes your rank and station." + +Bettina, with a rather chill smile, shook her head. + +"Rank and station I have none," she said. "I have money enough to +live as becomes my mother's child; that I am, and no more. It is the +only bond to the past which I acknowledge. The name and title which I +bore a little while were never mine in a real and true sense. I do +not care to speak of it; it is all past; but the very fact that your +cousin saw fit to leave me with what you call a mere pittance shows +that he felt the distance, the lack of union, between us, as I felt +and feel it." + +It was a relief to her to say this much. He could gather nothing from +it, and she wanted him to know that she had freed her soul from +every vestige of its bondage to the man whom she chose to designate +as his cousin rather than by any relationship to herself--even a past +one. This point did not escape him. + +"It is with humiliation that I receive your reminder that that man +was, in flesh and blood at least, akin to me," was the answer; "and +for that reason I have felt it to be my duty to make whatever poor +reparation may be in my power for the evil that he has done." + +He spoke with extreme seriousness, and there was a tone in his last +words which conveyed to Bettina the suspicion that they referred to +something more than any act of Lord Hurdly's which had heretofore +been mentioned between them. + +She waited, therefore, in some agitation to hear what his next words +should be. + +"I shall have to ask your forgiveness," he said, "for touching upon +a matter which might well seem to be an impertinence on my part. The +necessity is forced upon me, however, and I shall be as brief as +possible, if you will be good enough to listen." + +Bettina answered merely by a bend of the head. + +"As long as I can remember," he began, "I have had a certain +instinctive distrust of the late Lord Hurdly. It grew with my +growth; but I never thought it proper, under the then existing +circumstances, to give expression to it. As time went on, observation +confirmed instinct, and it became evident to me that he was a man of +powerful will, and was more or less unscrupulous in the attainment of +its ends. After his death, in going into the affairs of the estate, +and various other matters which came under my observation, I found +that the truths laid bare before me revealed him as a far worse man +even than I had imagined. It was a revolting manifestation in every +sense; but even when those matters had been closed up--when I +supposed that I was done with the man and aware of the worst--a +revelation was made to me which, though of a piece with the rest, +and no worse in its essence and kind, came home to me with a +thousandfold intensity, from the fact that it nearly concerned both +myself and you." + +Bettina's heart beat wildly. She dared not look at him, and with an +instinct to protect herself from betrayal at every cost, she said, in +a voice which was so cool and calm that the sound of it surprised her +as it fell upon her ear: + +"Go on. Explain yourself." + +She had taken up a paper from the table and was using it as if to +screen her face from the fire, but she managed to get somewhat in the +shadow of it, so that her companion had only a partial view of her +features and expression. In this position, with her eyes bent upon +the fire, her countenance was wholly inscrutable to him. There was a +moment's silence before he continued. + +"How far the explanation is necessary," he said, "I do not know. I am +aware that you received a sealed letter, through Cortlin, from a man +named Fitzwilliam Clarke, who is now dead. What that letter contained +is your own affair. I also received a letter from the same source and +by the same hand. It is of the revelation contained in that letter +that I am come to speak to you." + +Bettina hardly knew whether she was waking or sleeping. The +astounding suddenness of the consciousness which had come to her now +seemed to stun both her body and her mind. She made no sign, however, +as she sat absolutely still, and her companion went on. + +"The letter to you was delivered, you remember, before my return to +England. The interval which elapsed before the delivery of the letter +to me--which occurred scarcely more than a week ago--was due to the +fact that Cortlin had been instructed to put each of these letters +into the hands of none but the man and woman to whom they were +addressed. In the second instance he was prevented by illness from +the prompt performance of his duty. He has had a long and serious +attack of fever. As soon as his condition of health permitted he sent +for me and put the letter into my hands, telling me that he was +ignorant as to its contents, but that a letter from the same source +had been delivered to you by him immediately after the death of the +scoundrel whose treachery had betrayed you into a marriage with him." + +Bettina could not speak or look at him. The thoughts which were +seething through her brain were too confused for speech. One thing, +however, was quite clear to her. The resentment that this man so +fiercely manifested was for her sake, not his own. His anger was an +impersonal thing. He had a manly and chivalrous nature, and the mere +fact that her mother had once committed her into his keeping would +constitute a strong claim on such a nature. He was outraged that a +countryman and kinsman of his own could so villanously have duped +her. As for his own wrongs in the matter, he apparently did not +consider these. For all consciousness of them in his words and tones +they might never have existed. + +While these thoughts were passing through her mind, he had risen, and +was pacing the floor with restless strides. Now he paused in front of +her and said: + +"I trust it may not seem to you that I did wrong to come to you and +tell you of the revelation that had been made to me. I have done it +in the belief that the letter which you received conveyed the same +information. May I be allowed to know if this is true?" + +Bettina bent her head, but said no more. + +"Then I feel myself justified in having come," he said, in a tone of +relief. "If I could have known you ignorant of the infamous wrong +that was done you, by the unscrupulous means used to beguile you into +a marriage which must so have tortured and humiliated any woman, I +might have kept silent. It might perhaps have been best to omit from +the list of the wrongs you must have suffered this crowning infamy of +all. But since it seemed certain that you knew it, and since it had +doubtless been the reason of your refusing to touch the money which +was so rightfully your due, and of your leaving the country where +this great wrong had been done you, I could not rest until I had +spoken. I could not still the longing to give you a certain solace +which I hoped it might be in my power to give. I knew how sad and +lonely you were. I had written to the rector and asked for tidings of +you." + +"You had? He never told me," she said, wonderingly. + +"I particularly bound him not to do so; but I did write more than +once, and got his answers. In that way it came to me that you were +unhappy--courageously and unselfishly, yet profoundly so, and it was +not difficult for me to comprehend the reason. You will forgive me +for going into a dead and buried issue for this once; but I knew your +nature, and it was obvious to me that you were torturing yourself +because you felt that you had done a wrong to me." + +Bettina caught her breath suddenly, and covered her face with her +hands. + +"Is it not so?" he said. + +But she could not speak. The shrinking anguish of her whole attitude +was her only answer. + +Then he took the seat nearest her, and said: + +"It is with the hope of lifting this totally unnecessary burden from +your mind that I have come. I beg you to have patience with me while +I speak to you quite simply and tell you why you would be doing wrong +to blame yourself on my account. For this once I must ask you to let +me speak of the past--not the recent past--let us consider that in +its grave forever--but the remote past, in which for a short while I +had a share. I, too, have my confession to make and pardon to beg, +for I am conscious that I wronged you, though it was through +ignorance, youth, inexperience, and also--forgive me for mentioning +it, but it is my best justification--also because I loved you, with a +love which I was then too ignorant even to comprehend. I needs must +beg you to remember that, in owning my great wrong to you. This +wrong," he continued, after an instant's pause, "consisted in my +urging you to marry me when you did not love me. I feared it was so, +even then; but I was selfish; I thought of myself and not of you. +When the whispered misgiving would rise up in my mind I forced it +down by vowing that if you did not already love me I could and would +make you do so. When the blow fell, and I knew that I had lost you, I +knew that my selfishness in thinking chiefly of my own happiness had +been properly rewarded. At least this was the feeling that possessed +my heart after the first. You were young, confiding, inexperienced. I +knew better than you possibly could know that you did not love me. +Later, you knew it also." + +He waited, as if for her response. From behind her close-pressed +hands the answer came. + +"Yes," she said, lowly, "I have long known that it was a mistake on +my part. You are right. I did not love you." + +Had she been looking, she would have seen a shadow cross his face--a +very faint one, as the hope that it obscured had been faint also. + +"Therefore," he said, "I took advantage of you, and obtained from you +a promise which I should never have asked. I want you to feel that I +realize the wrong I did you in that, and ask your forgiveness for +it." + +Slowly she lowered her hands and looked at him. + +"And you can ask forgiveness of me?" she said. + +"I humbly beg it--as on my knees." + +"Then what should be my attitude to you?" + +"The proud and upright one of never having done me any conscious +wrong." + +"But when I left you, rejected you, threw you off--" + +"That was not done to me, but to the man you supposed me to be--the +man who had been proved to you a scoundrel, by such proof as any one +would have deemed you mad to doubt." + +She looked at him somewhat timidly. + +"You are generous indeed," she said. + +"I am no whit more than just. You were absolutely warranted in such +a course toward me. What I long to do--what I have crossed the world +in the hope of doing--is to get you to forgive yourself, to free +yourself of a hallucination which is casting a needless shadow on +your life." + +"Oh, you are good--good!" she said. "I never knew so kind a heart. +Therefore must my unending misery be the greater that I have once +wounded it." + +"That consciousness should have no sting for you hereafter. You did +it in utter ignorance. I cannot claim that I was half so ignorant in +my wrong toward you. But surely we may remember that we have once +been friends, and so we may feel that there is full and free +forgiveness between us before we part." + +She did not speak. That last word had pierced too deeply to her +heart. + +"You do forgive me--do you not?" he said, as if he misunderstood her +silence. + +"I thank you--I bless you--I seek _your_ forgiveness," she said. + +At these last words he smiled--a smile that had a certain bitterness +in it. Then suddenly his face became rigidly grave. + +"If I had not given you my forgiveness, long ago," he said, "I should +like to offer it to you now, at a price. I wish to God that I could." + +"What do you mean?" she said, a sweet perplexity upon her face. "What +price have I to pay for anything?" + +"Ah, there it is! It may seem brutal of me to put a literal +construction upon what you have used as a figure of speech, but let +the truth come out. You are poor, unprotected, alone, and you ask me +to go and leave you so! God knows it is little enough that I have it +in my power to do, but the possession of money would enable you at +least to live as it becomes you to live. I do not speak of your +title--it is not what you are called, but what you are, that I have +in mind. If you had money, even the small income which I so desire +that you shall accept, your life would be different." + +But Bettina looked away from him, and shook her head in the gentle +negation which he knew to be so final. + +"How would my life be different?" she said. + +"You could make it so." + +"In what way?" + +"You could travel, for one thing." + +"I do not want to travel. I desired it once, and I got my wish. But +with it came a wretchedness that all the travelling in the world +could not carry me away from." + +"Then what is to be your life?" + +"What you see it now. I do not wish to change it for any other. I +have tried the world and its rewards. There is nothing in them." + +Her tone of absolute, unexpectant decision maddened him. + +"My God, Bettina!" he exclaimed, too excited to notice that the name +had escaped him. "Are you in earnest? Can you mean it? I wish I could +believe that you did not. But there is a deadly reality about you now +which makes me fear that you will keep your word. That you should +spend your life in this isolation, that you--you--" + +He broke off, as if words failed him. + +"What better can I do?" she said. "You must not think of me as idle +and useless. I am going to try not to be that. I have tried a little. +Ask the rector. And I am going to try more. There is but one thing +that I deeply desire, and that is to be a better woman than I have +been in the past. Oh, I will try hard--I will, indeed I will--to do a +little good in the future, to make up for all the harm I have done!" + +She ceased, her voice failing her, and as she looked at the man +standing near her she saw that he was scarcely listening. Some +intense preoccupation made him take in but vaguely what she was +saying. She saw that he was deeply moved in some way, and the +consciousness that this was so gave her a sense of alarm. She felt +her own will weakening, and she knew that somehow she must get this +parting over, if her strength were to suffice for it. + +"Good-bye," she said, holding out her hand. + +"Don't be too sorry for me. You have lightened my heart inexpressibly +by what you have told me. Now that I can feel that you know +all--that, wrong and wicked as I was, I was not so false as it +seemed--I can bear the future with courage. I am sure of it. I want +to say good-bye now, because I prefer not to see you again. You would +only try to shake me in a determination that is not to be shaken. +Don't trouble about me--please don't," she added. "I have health and +youth, and these will suffice me for what I have to do." + +"Health and youth!" he cried, ignoring her proffered hand, and +throwing his own hands up in a gesture of repudiation. "And what do +these signify in a situation such as yours? They only mean that you +will prolong an existence which, for such a woman as you, seems worse +than death. You ask me to leave you so? To say good-bye--" + +"Yes, I beg it, I implore it, I insist upon it," she interrupted him, +feeling that her strength was almost gone. "You have said that you +were willing to do me a service--then leave me." + +She sank back in her chair exhausted. + +"My God! am I a brute?" he said. "Have I made you ill with my idiotic +persistency? I will go. I will rid you of the distress and annoyance +of my presence. But before I go, Bettina," he said, with a sudden +break in his voice, "I must and will satisfy my heart by one thing: I +must, for the sake of my own soul's peace, tell you this. I have +never ceased to love you, and I never shall. I gave you up when I saw +the renunciation to be inevitable, but I knew then, as I know now, +that I can never put any other in your place. You were the love of my +youth, and you will be the love of my old age, if my lonely life goes +on till then. Don't turn from me. Don't hide your face like that. I +ask nothing but this sacred right to speak. I know you never loved +me. I know it is not in me--if, indeed, it be in any mortal man--to +enter into the heaven of being loved by you. But, at least, you have +been the vision in my life--the sacred manifestation of what girl and +sweetheart and woman and wife might be--and for that I thank you. In +the shadow of that beatific vision I shall walk henceforth, and +believe me when I say that I shall walk there alone." + +Bettina, with her face buried in her hands, remained profoundly +still. When he had waited a moment he began to fear that he had +overtaxed her strength too far, and that she might have fainted. + +Kneeling in front of her, he took her two wrists gently in his hands +and tried to draw them away from her eyes. The strong resistance that +she made to this gave evidence enough that she was conscious in every +sentient nerve. + +"Forgive me," he said; "I am going--I have been wrong to force all +this upon you--but it is the last time that we shall meet. Let me, I +pray you, see your face once more before I turn away from it +forever." + +The tense hands relaxed within his grasp, but he caught no more than +a second's glimpse of the beautiful face before it was hid against +his shoulder. + +At the same instant a low voice whispered in his ear: + +"Don't move until I speak to you." + +Overwhelmed with wonder, he felt the hands which he had grasped now +holding fast his own, that she might compel him to the stillness +which she had commanded. Then the soft voice at his ear went on: + +"You were right in saying that I did not love you--that you would +have urged me into a marriage to which I could not have brought the +true feeling. I did not know it then, but I know it now. And I know +it now because--because--" her voice trembled and her breath came +quick--"because now I do love you. Oh, Horace, better love than this +man could not have or woman give." + +She ended in a burst of tears, and her exhausted body leaned against +him for support. + +For a moment he felt an amazement so overwhelming that he seemed half +unconscious from the whirling in his brain. Then, as a lightning +flash lights up the whole dark heaven in an instant's time, the truth +was revealed to him, and, with that consciousness, his arms were +tight about her and his kisses on her lips. + +If he questioned her at all, it was with his spirit, and her answer +came in that ineffable sense of union which fused their souls in one. +For long still moments they rested so, in that embrace, and when they +moved apart and looked into each other's eyes it was to take up +forever that united life which was to bind them in true marriage. + + * * * * * + +When Nora returned from church she found them sitting quietly before +the fire, the lamp burning brightly under the kettle, from which the +Lady Hurdly that was and was to be had just made tea for her lord. + + THE END + + + + + BY MARY E. WILKINS + + + SILENCE, and Other Stories. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 25. + + JEROME, A POOR MAN. A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, + $1 50. + + MADELON. 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Few surpass her in expressing the + homely pathos of the poor and ignorant, while the humor of her + stories is quiet, pervasive, and suggestive.--_Philadelphia Press._ + + It takes just such distinguished literary art as Mary E. Wilkins + possesses to give an episode of New England its soul, pathos, and + poetry.--_N. Y. Times._ + + The pathos of New England life, its intensities of repressed feeling, + its homely tragedies, and its tender humor, have never been better + told than by Mary E. 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