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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:36:40 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:36:40 -0700 |
| commit | 54be0b1e159011991cac295d7888067b216023be (patch) | |
| tree | cf7719978a277ffd24b320ba91eb25ddf2ab7572 | |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/27917-8.txt b/27917-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a55e314 --- /dev/null +++ b/27917-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6733 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton, by +Wardon Allan Curtis + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton + +Author: Wardon Allan Curtis + +Release Date: January 28, 2009 [EBook #27917] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. MIDDLETON *** + + + + +Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +_The_ Strange Adventures _of_ Mr. Middleton + + + +BY + + + +WARDON ALLAN CURTIS + + + +CHICAGO +HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY + +MCMIII + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1903, BY +HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY +CHICAGO + + + + +CONTENTS + + + The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir + Achmed Ben Daoud + The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of William Hicks + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir + The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir + The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of + the Emir + The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of + the Emir + + + + +_The_ Strange Adventures _of_ Mr. Middleton + + + + +_The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir Achmed +Ben Daoud._ + + +It was a lowering and gloomy night in the early part of the present +century. Mr. Edward Middleton, a gallant youth, who had but lately +passed his twenty-third year, was faring northward along the southern +part of that famous avenue of commerce, Clark Street, in the city of +Chicago, wending his way toward the emporium of Mr. Marks Cohen. +Suddenly the rain which the cloudy heaven had been promising for many +hours, began to descend in great scattered drops that presaged a heavy +shower. Mr. Middleton hastened his steps. It was possible that if the +dress-suit he wore, hired for the occasion of the wedding of his +friend, Mr. Chauncey Stackelberg, should become imbued with moisture +in the shower that now seemed imminent, Mr. Cohen, of whom he had +hired the suit, would not add to the modicum agreed upon, a charge for +pressing it. But if his own suit for everyday wear, which he was +carrying under his arm with the purpose of putting it on at good Mr. +Cohen's establishment, should become wet, that would be a serious +matter. It was, in fact, his only suit and that will explain the +anxiety with which he scanned the heavens. Suddenly, Pluvius unloosed +all the fountains of the sky, and with scarcely a thought whither he +was going, Mr. Middleton darted into the first haven of refuge, a +little shop he happened to be just passing. As the door closed behind +him with the tinkle of a bell in some remote recess, for the first +time he realized that the place he had entered was utterly dark. His +ears, straining to their uttermost to make compensation for the +inability of his eyes to be of service to him in this juncture, could +no more than inform him that the place was utterly silent. But to his +nose came the powerful fragrance of strange foreign aromas such as he +had never had experience of before,--which, heavy and oppressive in +their cloying perfume, seemed the very breath of mystery. All traffic +had ceased without, as the night was well advanced and the rain beat +so heavily that the few whom business or pleasure had called abroad at +that hour, had sought shelter. But though the rain now fell with a +steady roar, Mr. Middleton, perturbed by a nameless disquiet, was +about to rush forth into the tempest and seek other shelter, when a +door burst open and, outlined against a glare of light, stood a +gigantic man who said in a deep, low voice that seemed to pervade +every corner of the room and cause the air to shake in slow +vibrations, "Salaam aleikoom!" Which being repeated again, Mr. +Middleton replied: + +"I do not understand the German language." + +A low, musical laugh greeted this remark and the laugh resolving +itself into a low, musical voice that bade him enter, Mr. Middleton +found himself in a small boudoir of oriental magnificence, facing a +young man in the costume of the Moslem nations, who sat cross-legged +upon a divan smoking a narghileh. He was of perhaps twenty-six, +somewhat slight, but elegant of person. His face, extremely handsome, +betokened that he was a man of intelligence and sensibility. Two +brilliant, sparkling eyes illumined his countenance and the curl of +his carmine lips was that of one who while kind--without condescension +and the odiousness of patronage--to all whom the mischance of fate had +made his inferiors in fortune, would not bend the fawning knee to any +whom the world calls great. Behind him stood a giant blackamore, he of +the voice that had saluted Mr. Middleton. The blackamore was dressed +in crimson silk sparkling with an array of gold lace, but his immense +turban was snowy white. Against his shoulder reposed a great +glittering scimetar and a dozen silver-mounted pistols and poniards +were thrust in his sash. + +Presently the young man removed the golden mouth-piece of the +narghileh from his lips and regarding Mr. Middleton fixedly, remarked: + +"There is but one God and Mohammed is his Prophet." + +Now this was not the doctrine Mr. Middleton had been taught in the +Methodist Sunday School in Janesville, Wisconsin, but disliking to +dispute with one so engaging as the handsome Moslem, and having read +in a book of etiquette that it was very ill mannered to indulge in +theological controversy and, moreover, being conscious of the presence +of the blackamore with the glittering scimetar, he began to make his +excuses for an immediate departure. But the Moslem would not hear to +this. + +"Mesrour will bear your garments to Mr. Cohen. From your visage, I +judge you to be a person I wish to know. I take you to be endowed with +probity, discretion, and valor, and not without wit, good taste, and +good manners. Mesrour, relieve the gentleman of his burden." + +Whereupon Mr. Middleton was compelled to state that it was the garment +on his back that was to go to Mr. Cohen, though he feared this +confession would cause him to fall in the estimation of the Moslem. +But the stranger relaxed none of his deference at this intimation that +Mr. Middleton was not a person of consequence. + +"Mesrour, take two sequins from the ebony chest. The price the +extortionate tailor charges, is some thirty piastres. Bring back the +change and a receipt." + +"Salaam, effendim!" and Mesrour bowed until the crown of his head was +presented toward his master, together with the palms of his hands, and +in this posture backed from the room, leaving Mr. Middleton +speculating upon the wonder and alarm little Mr. Cohen would +experience at beholding the gigantic Nubian in all his outlandish +panoply. While changing the dress suit for his street wear, from a +back room came the sound of the blackamore moving about, chanting that +weird refrain, tumpty, tumpty, tum--tum; tumpty, tumpty, tum--tum; +which from Mesopotamia to the Pillars of Hercules, from the time of +Ishmael to the present, has been the song of the sons of the desert. +What was his surprise when the blackamore emerged. Gone were his +turban, his flowing trousers, his scimetar, pistols, and poniards. He +had on a long yellow mackintosh, which did not, however, conceal a +pair of black and white checked pantaloons, a red tie, and green vest, +from each upper pocket of which projected an ivory-handled razor. + +"Don't forget the change, Mesrour." + +"No indeed, boss," replied the blackamore, whistling "Mah Tiger Lily," +as he departed. + +The Moslem provided Mr. Middleton with one of those pipes which in +various parts of the Orient are known as narghilehs, hubble-bubbles, +or hookabadours, and seeing his guest entirely at his ease, without +ado began as follows: + +"My name is Achmed Ben Daoud, and I am hereditary emir of the tribe of +Al-Yam, which ranges on the border of that fortunate part of the +Arabian peninsular known as Arabia the Happy. My youngest brother, +Ismail, desirous of seeing the world, went to the court of Oman, where +struck by his inimitable skill in narration, the imam installed him as +royal story-teller. But having in the space of a year exhausted his +stock of stories, the imam, who is blessed with an excellent memory, +discovering that he was telling the same stories over again, shut him +up in a tower constructed of vermilion stone quarried on the upper +waters of the great river Euphrates. There my poor brother is to stay +until he can invent a new stock of stories, but being utterly devoid +of invention, only death or relenting upon the part of the imam could +release him. Hearing of his plight, I went to the imam with the +proposition that I seek out some other story-teller and that upon +bringing him to Muscat, my brother be released. But the imam exclaimed +that he was tired of tales of genii and magicians, of enchantments and +spells, devils, dragons, and rocs. + +"'These things are too common, too everyday. Go to the country of the +Franks and bring me a story-teller who shall tell me tales of far +nations, and I will release Ismail, and load him with treasure.' + +"'My Lord,' said I, 'peradventure no Frank story-teller will come. To +guard against such eventuality, I will myself go to the lands of the +Franks, there to learn of adventures worthy the ear of your highness. +This I will do that my brother may be released from the vermilion +tower.' + +"'Do this, and I will give him the vermilion tower and make him grand +vizier of the dominions of Oman.' + +"As hereditary emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, I am prince of a +considerable population. My revenues are sufficient to support life +becomingly. But desiring to escape attention, and moreover, feeling +that I could better get in touch with all classes of the population, I +have established here in Chicago a small bazaar for the sale of +frankincense and myrrh, the balsam of Hadramaut and attar of roses +from the vales of Nejd, coffee of Mocha--which is in Arabia the +Happy--dates from Hedjaz, together with ornaments made from wood grown +in Mecca and Medina. Such is my stock in trade. By day, Mesrour and I +dress like Feringhis. But at night, it pleases us to cast aside the +stiff garb of the infidel for the flowing garments of my native land. +Mesrour then delights to make the obeisances my rank deserves, but +which in the presence of the giaours would excite mocking laughter. I +have prospered. I have made acquaintances and have learned of many +adventures. But I have made no friends. I have been much prepossessed +by your bearing and feel that I would like to have you for a friend. I +am also desirous of observing the effect of the tales of adventure I +have been collecting. I need to acquire skill in the art of narration, +and accordingly, I must have someone to tell them to, a person whose +complaisance will cause him to overlook the faults of a novice. I am +exceedingly anxious to have the distinguished honor of your company +and if you have any evenings when you are at leisure, I should be only +too glad to have you spend them here." + +"I can come this day week," said Mr. Middleton. + +"So be it. On that occasion I will tell you the tale of The Adventure +of the Virtuous Spinster. I have not asked you your calling in life, +for I am utterly without curiosity----" + +"I am a clerk in a law office," said Mr. Middleton, quickly, "where I +perform certain tasks and at the same time study law, and it is my +hope to be soon admitted to the bar." + +Prince Achmed regarded him earnestly for a moment, and then withdrew +to return with a sandalwood case in his hands. This he opened to +disclose a leathern-bound volume. Upon the cover was stamped a great +gilt monogram of letters in some strange language. The edges were +stained a brilliant and peculiarly vivid green. The pages were of fine +pearl-colored vellum, covered with strange characters in black. Each +chapter began with a great red initial surrounded by an illuminated +design of many colored arabesques. It was indeed a volume to cause a +book-lover to cry out with joy. + +"Here is all the law man needs, the sacred Koran. Here is the +beginning and end of law, the source of regulations that ensure +righteous conduct, the precepts of Mohammed, prophet of Allah. If +other laws agree with those of the Koran, they are needless. If they +disagree, they are evil. Study this guide of life, my friend, and +there will be no need to worry your brain with tomes of the +presumptuous wights who from their own imaginings dare attempt to +dictate laws and impiously substitute them for the laws revealed to +Mohammed from on high. Accept this gift and study it." + +With the sandalwood case containing the precious volume of the law +under his arm, Mr. Middleton departed. After the lapse of three days, +finding no immediate prospect of learning the Arabic language, and +fearful of offending Prince Achmed if he returned the book, and having +no possible use for it, he took it to a bibliophile, who exclaiming +that it was the handiwork of a Mohammedan monastery of Damascus and +bore on the cover the monogram of the fifth Fatimite caliph, and was +therefore a thousand years old, he told Mr. Middleton that though it +was worth much more, he could offer him but five hundred dollars, +which sum the astonished friend of Achmed received in a daze, and +departed to invest in a well located lot in a new suburb. Having no +use for the sandalwood case after the Koran had been disposed of, he +presented it to a young lady of Englewood as a receptacle for +handkerchiefs. + +Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when on the appointed +evening he once more sat in the presence of the urbane prince of the +tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored +sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of the Virtuous +Spinster. + + + + + +_The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster._ + + +Miss Almira Johnson was a virtuous spinster, aged thirty-nine, who +lived in a highly respectable boarding-house on the north side. Her +days she spent in keeping the books of a large leather firm, in an +office which she shared with two male clerks who were married, and a +red-headed boy of sixteen, who was small for his age. + +On the evening when my tale begins, Miss Almira, tastefully attired +for her night's rest in a white nightgown trimmed with blue lace, was +peeping under the bed for the ever-possible man, the nightly rite +preliminary to her prayers. She fell back gasping in a vain attempt to +scream, but not a sound could she give vent to. The precaution of +years had been justified. _There lay a man!_ He was habited in a very +genteel frock-suit, patent-leather shoes, and although it must have +caused him some inconvenience in his recumbent position, upon his head +was a correct plug hat. The elegance and respectability of his garb +somewhat reassured Miss Almira, who was unable to believe that one so +apparelled could have secreted himself under her bed for an evil +purpose, when a new fear seized her, for arguing from this assumption, +she concluded he must have been placed there by others and was, in +short, dead. Whereupon, having to some degree recovered possession of +herself, she was opening her mouth to scream at this new terror, when +the man spoke. + +"Listen before you scream, I pray thee, beauteous lady, darling of my +life, pearl of my desires, star of my hopes." + +The strangeness of the address and the unaccustomed epithets caused +Miss Almira to forbear, for she could not hear what he had to say and +scream at the same time, and, moreover, she remembered how twenty +years before, Jake Long had fled, never to return to her side, when +after telling her she was the sweetest thing in the world, she had +screamed as his arms clasped about her in a bearish hug. + +"Fair lady, ornament of your sex, hear the words of your ardent +admirer before you blast his hopes." + +As he uttered these words, the stranger extricated himself from his +undignified position and sat down in a rocking chair before the +bureau. Miss Almira was more than ever prepossessed as she saw he wore +white kid gloves and that in his shirt front gleamed a large diamond. +He removed his hat, disclosing a heavy crop of black hair. He had blue +eyes and a strong, clean-shaven face. + +"For some time I have observed you and wondered how I was to realize +my fondest hopes and make your acquaintance. All day you are in the +office, where the two married men and the red-headed boy are always +_de trop_. My employment is of a nature that takes me out nights. In +fact, I teach a night school for Italians. To-day being an Italian +holiday and so no school, and as there is a possibility I shall soon +leave the city for an extended season, I have been unable to devise +any other means of declaring myself before the time for my departure. +Pray pardon me for the abruptness and importunity of my declaration, +pray forgive me for the unusual way which I have taken to secure an +interview alone with you. But if you only knew the ardor of my love, +my impatience--oh, would that our union could be effected this very +night!" + +Ravished by the elegance of the stranger both in his outward seeming +and his converse, melted by the warmth of a romantic devotion almost +unknown in these degenerate days, though common enough of yore, Miss +Almira paused a moment in the proud compliance of one about to gladly +bestow an inestimable, but hardly hoped-for gift, and crying, "It can +be done, it shall be done," threw herself into the cavalier's arms. + +"How so?" asked the stranger, after Miss Almira had disengaged herself +at the elapse of a proper interval. + +"Why, the Rev. Eusebius Williams has the next room. We will call him." + +"But," said the stranger, "I thought the occupant of the next room was +Mr. Algernon Tibbs, a gentleman from the country, who has recently +sold a large number of hogs here in the city and has been ill in his +room for a space by reason of a contusion on the head from a gold +brick, which was, so to speak, twice thrown at his head, once +figuratively as a ridiculously fine bargain which he refused to take, +and again when the owner, angered, struck him with the rejected gold." + +"I see," said Miss Almira archly, "that in planning for this, you have +tried to study the lay of the land; but be gratified, sir, for the +lucky chance which prevented a sad mistake. Mr. Tibbs and I do occupy +adjoining rooms. But the one Mr. Tibbs occupies is really mine. To-day +we exchanged and I will remain here for the four or five days Mr. +Tibbs is to be in the city. He has a large sum of money in his +possession, so we all infer. At any rate, he was afraid to sleep in +this room, where there is a fire escape at the window, and took mine, +where an unscalable wall prevents access. Suppose the Italian holiday +had been last night and you had come then. He would then have taken +you for a robber, notwithstanding that anybody could see you are a +gentleman." + +For the first time did Miss Almira become conscious she was not robed +as one should be while receiving callers, and blushing violently, she +leaped into bed, whence she bid the stranger retire for a bit until +she could dress, when they would invoke the kindly offices of the Rev. +Eusebius Williams. + +"Your name," she called, as the stranger was about to retire. + +"My name," said he impressively, "which will soon be yours, is +Breckenridge Endicott." + +"Mulvane," said Mr. Breckenridge Endicott to himself, noiselessly +descending the stairs, "what if she had screamed before you had pulled +yourself together and thought of that stunt? You didn't get old Tibb's +money, but you did get--away." + +Mr. Endicott tried the front door. To his apparent annoyance, there +was no bolt, no knob to unlock it, and key there was none. In the +parlors, he could hear the voices of boarders. + +"No way there, Mulvane," said Mr. Endicott. "I'll go into the kitchen +and walk out the back door. If there's anybody there, they'll think me +a new boarder." + +But he started violently and stood for some moments trembling for no +assignable reason, as he saw in front of the range a fat German hired +girl sitting in the lap of a fat Irish policeman. + +"No go through Almira's room to the fire escape. But perhaps I can get +out on the roof and get away somehow. She can't have dressed so soon," +and he ascended the stairs to run plump into Miss Almira, who popped +out of her room, resplendent in a rustling black silk. + +"Oh, you impatient thing," said Miss Almira, shaking a reproving +finger. "I put this on, and then I thought I ought to wear something +white, and so came out to tell you not to get impatient waiting, and +why I kept you so long," and back she popped. + +"You are up against it, Mulvane," said Mr. Breckenridge Endicott, +sitting disconsolately down upon the stairs. "Hold on, just the thing. +Why, as her husband, you'll live here unsuspected and get in with old +Tibbs. Why, the job will be pie. It won't be mean to her, either. When +you just vanish, she'll have 'Mrs.' tacked to her name, and that'll +help her. It will be lots of satisfaction. They can't call her an old +maid. 'Better 'tis to have loved and lost than never to have loved at +all.' I'll give her some of the boodle. She isn't bad looking. Wonder +why nobody ever grabbed on to her. If I had enough to live well, I'd +marry her myself and settle down." + +The Rev. Eusebius Williams, with ten dollars fee in his right +pantaloons pocket, and the radiant Almira, did not look happier during +the wedding ceremony than did Mr. Breckenridge Endicott. + +It was seldom that Mr. Endicott was absent from the side of his wife +during the next few days. Occasionally pleading urgent business, he +left her to go down town with Mr. Tibbs, whom he was seeking to +interest in a plan to extract gold from sea water, a plan upon which +Mr. Tibbs looked with some favor, for as presented by Mr. Endicott, it +was one of great feasibility and promised enormous profits. In the +setting forth of the method of extraction, Mr. Endicott was much aided +by his wife, who overhearing him in earnest consultation with Mr. +Tibbs bounded in and demanded to know what it was all about. Mr. +Endicott demurred, saying it was an abstruse matter which should not +burden so poetical a mind as hers. But Mr. Tibbs set it forth to her +briefly. Having in her youth made much of the sciences of chemistry +and physics, to the great amaze and admiration of Mr. Endicott, she +launched into a most lucid explication of the practicability of the +plan, leaving Mr. Tibbs more than ever inclined to venture his +thousands. + +"By Jove, she'll do, Mulvane. Why cut and run? Take her along. She is +a splendid grafter," said Mr. Endicott to himself, as he and his wife +withdrew from the presence of Mr. Tibbs. "My dear," he continued +aloud, "I was overcome by respect for the way you aided me. You are +indeed a jewel. I had never suspected you understood me, knew what I +was, until you came in and explained that sucker trap. You are a most +unexpected ally. You perceive clearly how the thing works?" + +"Why, of course, Breckenridge. I have not studied science in vain, +though I do not recall what part of the machine you call 'sucker +trap'. Doubtless the contrivance marked 'converter,' in the drawings. +Of course I understood you, right from the first, a noble, noble man, +and so romantic. But Brecky, dear, why let other people share in this +invention? Why not make all the money ourselves and become million, +millionaires? I shall build churches and libraries and support +missionaries. Why let Mr. Tibbs, who is a somewhat gross person, enjoy +any of the fruits of your genius?" + +Whereupon Mr. Endicott's face took on an expression of deep +disappointment, disillusionment, and sorrow, until seeing his own +sorrow mingled with alarm reflected on his wife's face, he presently +announced that they would depart on their wedding journey by boat for +Mackinac three days hence. + +"I shall stop fiddle-faddling and settle the business which delays me +here, at one stroke. The old simple methods are the best." + +As Mr. and Mrs. Breckenridge Endicott were entering their cab to drive +to the wharf, Mrs. Maxon, the landlady, came hurriedly with the +scandal that Mr. Algernon Tibbs had been found in his room in the +stupor of intoxication. + +"Why, he might have been robbed while in that condition," said Mrs. +Maxon. + +"He will not be robbed while under your roof," said Mr. Endicott +gallantly. "He is safe from robbing now. He will not, he cannot, I may +say, be robbed now." + +The sun was touching the western horizon as the steamer glided out of +the river's mouth. The wind lay dead upon the water, and for a space +the pair sat in the tender light of declining day indulging in the +pleasures of conversation, but at length Mr. Endicott led his wife to +their stateroom. + +"On this auspicious day, I wish to make you a gift," and he handed her +a thousand dollars in bills. "My presence is now required on the lower +deck for a time. Be patient during my absence," whereupon he embraced +her with an ardor he had never shown before and there was in his voice +a strange ring of regret and longing such as Almira had never listened +to. It thrilled her very soul and bestowing upon him a shower of +passionate kisses and an embrace of the utmost affection, their +parting took on almost the agony of a parting for years. + +"Where the devil is that coal passer Mullanphy, I gave a job to?" said +the engineer on the lower deck. "Is he aboard?" + +"His dunnage is in his bunk, but nobody ain't seen him," replied one +of the crew. + +"Who the devil is that geezer in a Prince Albert and a plug hat that +just went in back there, and what the devil is he up to?" said the +engineer again, as a black-clothed figure passed toward the stern. + +A few moments later, a sturdy man in a jumper and overalls, his face +smeared with grime, peered cautiously around a bulkhead, and seeing +nobody, stepped quickly to the side of the vessel, bearing a limp and +spineless figure in a black frock and silk hat. With a dextrous +movement, he cast the thing forth, and as it went flopping through the +air and slapped the water, from somewhere arose the voice of Mr. +Breckenridge Endicott crying, "Help! help! help!" + +Mrs. Endicott, full of dole at the absence of her spouse and oppressed +with a nameless disquiet, had paced the upper deck impatiently, and at +this moment stood just above where her beloved went leaping to his +doom. With one wild scream, she jumped, she scrambled, she fell to the +lower deck, colliding with a man leaning out looking at the sinking +figure. Down, with a vain and frantic clutching at the side that only +served to stay his fall so that he slipped silently into the water +under the vessel's counter, went the unfortunate man. + +Plump, into the yawl with the rescue crew, went Mrs. Endicott. Far +astern through the dusk could be seen a black silk hat on the still +water. Astern could be heard the voice of Mr. Breckenridge Endicott +crying, "Quick, quick! I can swim a little, but I am almost gone!" + +"Turn to the left, to the left," cried Mrs. Endicott. + +"But the cries come from the right," said the coxswain. + +"That's his hat to the left. I know his hat. I saw him fall. I know +his voice. It's his hat and his voice." + +The crew could have sworn that the cries came from the right, but to +the hat they steered and the cries ceased before their arrival. They +lifted the hat. Nothing beneath but eighty fathoms of water. + +It was some time thereafter that a fisherman came upon a corpse +floating inshore. Its face was bloated to such an extent as to prevent +recognition. Its clothes were those of a steamboat roustabout. In the +breastpocket was a large pocketbook bearing in gilt letters the +legend, "Mr. Breckenridge Endicott." + +"The present I gave him on the morning of our departure!" exclaimed +Miss Almira, "now so strangely found on the dead body of the man who +robbed him and probably murdered him." + +Although soaked, the bills were redeemable. The fisherman was a +fisherman who owned a town house on Prairie Avenue and a country house +at Oconomowoc and he would take no reward. The bills amounted to nine +thousand dollars. Taking her fortune, Almira retired to her former +home in Ogle county, Illinois, where once more meeting Mr. Jake Long, +lately made a widower, after a decent period of waiting, they became +man and wife. So it ended happily for all except the person who called +himself Mr. Breckenridge Endicott--though I suspect that was not his +name--and for Mr. Algernon Tibbs. Lest you waste pity on Mr. Algernon +Tibbs, let me say that in his youth, he was accustomed to kill little +girl's cats, and that his fortune was entirely one he beat out of his +brother-in-law, James Wilkinson. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir._ + + +"The individual whose sad taking-off I have just narrated," said the +emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, "affords an excellent example of the power +of good clothes. Suppose he had secreted himself under Miss Almira's +bed wearing a jumper, overalls, and a mask. He would have been +arrested and lodged in the penitentiary." + +"But he is now dead," said Mr. Middleton. + +"He had better be dead, than continuing his career of villainy and +crime," quoth the emir sternly, and then passing his eyes over the +person of Mr. Middleton, he remarked the somewhat threadbare and +glossy garments of that excellent young man. "If you would accept a +suit of raiment from me," continued the emir with a hesitation that +betrayed the delicacy which was one of the most marked of the many +estimable traits that made his character so admirable, "I would be +overjoyed and obliged. The interests of you, my only friend in this +vast land, have become to me as my own. Unfortunately I have no Frank +clothes except the one suit I wear daily. But of the costumes of my +native land, I have abundant store, and as we are of the same stature, +I beg you will make me happy by accepting one." + +Speaking some words to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, the +blackamore brought in and proceeded to invest Mr. Middleton with an +elegant silken habit consisting of a pair of exceedingly baggy +trousers of the hue of emeralds, a round jacket whose crimson rivalled +the rubies of Farther Ind, and a vest of snowy white. Double rows of +small pearls ornamented the edges of the jacket, which was short and +just met a copper-colored sash about the waist. After inducting him +into a pair of white leggings and bronze shoes, Mesrour clapped upon +his head a large white turban ornamented with a black aigret. + +Mr. Middleton looked very well in his new garments and while the emir +was complimenting him upon this fact and the grace of his bearing and +Mr. Middleton was uttering protestations of gratitude, Mesrour busied +himself, and Mr. Middleton, turning with intent to resume his wonted +garb, was astonished to find it in a network of heavy twine tied with +a multiplicity of knots. + +"Mesrour will bring you your Frank clothes in the morning. I am very +tired, and so I will bid you good night," and the yawn which now +overspread the face of the accomplished prince told more than his +words that the audience was ended. + +Mr. Middleton looked at the bundle with its array of knots. To untie +it would require a long time and the prince was repeating his yawn and +his good night. Even had he not hesitated to offend the prince by +demanding opportunity to resume his customary vestments and to weary +him by making him wait for this operation, which promised to be a long +one, he would have been without volition in the matter; for in +obedience to a gesture, Mesrour grasped his arm and with great +deference, but inflexible and unalterable firmness, led him through +the shop and closed the street door behind him. + +Mr. Middleton was greatly disconcerted at finding himself in the +street arrayed in these brilliant and barbarous habiliments, but +reflecting that the citizens traveling the streets at this hour would +perhaps take him for some high official in one of the many fraternal +orders that entertain, instruct, and edify the inhabitants of the +city, he proceeded on his way somewhat reassured. As he was changing +cars well toward his lodgings, at a corner where a large public hall +reared its façade, he heard himself accosted, and turning, beheld a +portly person wearing a gilt paper crown, a long robe of purple velvet +bordered with rabbit's fur spotted with black, and bearing in his hand +a bung-starter, which, covered with gilt paper, made a very creditable +counterfeit of a royal scepter. + +"Come here once," said this personage. + +With great affableness expressing a willingness to come twice, if it +were desired, Mr. Middleton accompanied the personage, as with an air +of brooding mystery, the latter led him down the street twenty feet +from where they had first stood. + +"Was you going to the masquerade?" + +"Yes," said Mr. Middleton, divining from the presence of the personage +and two other masquers whom he now beheld entering the hall, that a +masquerade was in progress. + +"What'll you take to stay away?" + +"Why?" + +"You'll take the prize." + +"What is the prize and why should the possibility of winning it deter +me?" + +"The prize is five dollars. It's this way. I am a saloonkeeper. Gustaf +Kleiner and I are in love with the same girl. She is in love with all +both of us. She don't know what to say. She can't marry all both, so +she says she'll marry the one what gits the prize at the masquerade. +If you git the prize, don't either of us git the girl already. I'll +give you twenty dollars to stay away." + +"But what of Gustaf Kleiner? Have you paid him?" + +"He is going to be a devil. I hired two Irishmans for five dollars to +meet him up the street, cut off his tail, break his horns, and put +whitewash on his red suit. He is all right. I'll make it thirty +dollars and a ticket of the raffle for my watch to-morrow." + +"Done," said Mr. Middleton, and he proceeded to draw up a contract +binding him to stay away from the masquerade for a consideration of +thirty dollars. + +It was not the least remarkable part of his adventure that he did not +meet Gustaf Kleiner in his damaged suit and for a consideration of +fifty dollars, lend him the magnificent Oriental costume. He did not +see Gustaf Kleiner at all, nor did he win the watch in the raffle and +the chronicler hopes that the setting down of these facts will not +cause the readers to doubt his veracity, for he is aware that usually +these things are ordered differently. + +Having kept the Oriental costume for several days and seeing no +prospect of ever wearing it, and his small closet having become +crowded by the presence of a new twenty-dollar suit which he purchased +with part of his gains, he presented it to the young lady in Englewood +previously mentioned, who reduced the ruby red jacket to a beautiful +bolero jacket, made a table throw of the sash, and after much +hesitation seized the exceedingly baggy trousers--which were made with +but one seam--and ripping them up, did, with a certain degree of +confusion, fashion them into two lovely shirt waists. But she did not +wear them in the presence of Mr. Middleton and did not even mention +them to him. Nor did Mr. Middleton allude to any of these transactions +when on the appointed day and hour he again sat in the presence of the +urbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Handing him a bowl of delicately +flavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of William +Hicks. + + + + +_The Adventure of William Hicks._ + + +Young William Hicks was a native of the village of Bensonville, in the +southern part of Illinois. Having, at the age of twenty, graduated at +the head of a class of six in the village school, his father thought +to reward him for his diligence in study by a short trip to the city +of Chicago, which metropolis William had never beheld. Addressing him +in a discourse which, while not long, abounded in valuable advice, Mr. +Hicks presented his son with a sum of money sufficient for a stay of a +week, provided it were not expended imprudently. + +One evening, William was walking along Wabash Avenue, feeling somewhat +lonely as he soberly reflected that not one in all that vast multitude +cared anything about him, when he heard himself accosted in a most +cheery manner, and looking up, beheld a beautiful lady smiling at him. +It was plain that she belonged to the upper classes. A hat of very +large proportions, ornamented with a great ostrich plume, shaded a +head of lovely yellow hair. She was clothed all in rustling purple +silk and sparkled with jewelry. Her cheeks and lips glowed with a +carmine quite unknown among the fair but pale damosels of Bensonville, +which is situated in a low alluvial location, surrounded by flat +plains, the whole being somewhat damp and malarial. William had never +imagined eyes so wide open and glistening. + +"My name is Willy, to be sure. But you have the advantage of me, for +ashamed as I am to say it, I cannot quite recall you. You are not the +lady who came to Bensonville and stayed at the Campbellite +minister's?" + +"Oh, how are all the dear folks in Bensonville? But, say, Will, don't +you want to come along with me awhile and talk it all over?" + +"I should be honored to do so, if you will lead the way. I confess I +am lonely to-night, and I always enjoy talking over old times." + +At this juncture, a sudden look of alarm spread over the lady's +beauteous face and a lumbering minion of the law stepped before her. + +"Up to your old tricks, eh?" he growled. "Didn't I tell you that the +next time I caught you tackling a man, I'd run you in? Run you in it +is. Come on, now." + +"Oh, oh," panted the lady, and great tears welled into her adorable +eyes. At that moment, there was a crash in the street, as a poor +Italian exile had his push cart overturned by the sudden and +unexpected backing of a cab. The policeman turned to look and, like a +frightened gazelle, the lady bounded away, closely followed by young +William. + +"Is there nothing I can do? Cannot I complain to the judge for you, or +address a communication to some paper describing and condemning this +conduct?" + +"Is he coming? Is he coming?" asked the lady, piteously. + +"No. But if he were, I would strike him, big as he is. Cannot a former +visitor in Bensonville greet one of its citizens without interference +from the police?" + +Hereupon the lady, who seemed to be giving little heed to what William +was saying, beyond the information that the policeman was not in +pursuit, gave a gay little laugh of relief, which caused William's +eyes to light in pitying sympathy. + +"Now that we are away from him, what do you say to a friendly game of +cards somewhere, to pass away the evening, which hangs heavy on my +hands and doubtless does on yours?" + +"I have never played cards," said William, "for while there is nothing +intrinsically wrong in them, they are the vehicle of much that is +injurious, and at the very least, they cause one to fritter away +valuable time in profitless amusement." + +"Oh, la! you are wrong there," said the lady, with a little silvery +laugh. "They are not a profitless amusement. Why, a man has to keep +his brains in good trim when he plays cards, and whist is just as good +a mental exercise as geometry and algebra, or any other study where +the mind is engaged upon various problems. You see I stand up for +cards, for I teach whist myself and I assure you that many of the +leading ladies of this city spend their time in little else than +whist, which they would not do if cards were what you say. Before you +pass your opinion, why not let me show you some of the fine points, +and then you will have something to base your judgment upon." + +William, quite impressed by the elegance and social standing of the +lady, as well as influenced by her beauty, despite her evident +seniority of ten or fifteen years, assented, and the lady continued: + +"I would invite you to my own apartments, but they are so far away, +and as we are now in front of the Hotel Dieppe, let us go up and +engage a room for a few hours and I will teach you a few little +interesting tricks with which you can amuse the people of Bensonville, +and even obtain some profit, if you wish to. What do you say?" + +William averring that he would be pleased to receive the proffered +instruction, she led the way up a flight of stairs and paused in the +doorway of the hotel office, for the Hotel Dieppe was a hostelry of no +great pretentions and occupied the upper stories of a building, the +lower floors of which were devoted to a furniture emporium. Behind the +counter stood a low-browed clerk with a large diamond in his shirt +front, who scrutinized them keenly. + +"You get the room," said the lady, coyly. "I'm bashful and don't like +to go in there where are all those smoking men. You may take it in my +name if you wish,--Madeleine Montmorency." + +"Number 15," said the clerk, and in a space William found himself in a +dark room, alone with the lady, and heard the door close behind them +and the key turn in the lock. + +"We are locked in!" exclaimed Miss Montmorency. + +"What's that?" said a deep voice in the darkness. + +Miss Montmorency screamed, and screamed again as William turned on the +light and they beheld a man lying in bed! + +William was stepping hastily to her side to shield her vision from +this improper spectacle, when he paused as if frozen to the floor. The +man was now sitting up in bed and he had a _red flannel night gown, +one eye_, AND TWO NOSES! + +"What the devil are you doing here?" exclaimed the monster in the red +flannel nightgown. + +"That I will gladly tell you, for I would not have you believe that we +wantonly intruded upon your slumbers." And thereupon William related +that he was a citizen of Bensonville who had met a former visitor +there and they had come here to talk over mutual acquaintances and +improve their minds by discreet discourse. "But, sir," he said, in +concluding, "pardon my natural curiosity concerning yourself. Who are +you and why are you?" + +"If I had the printed copies of my life here, I would gladly sell you +one, but I left them all behind. My name is Walker Sheldrup. I am +registered from Springfield, Mass., but I am from Dubuque, Iowa. I was +born in Sedalia, Mo., where my father was a prominent citizen. It was +he who led the company of men who, with five ox teams, hauled the +courthouse away from Georgetown and laid the foundations of Sedalia's +greatness. Had he lived, Sedalia would not have tried in vain to swipe +the capital from Jefferson City. As a youth I was distinguished--but +I'll cut all that out. Your presence here and the door being locked +behind you only too surely warns me that we have no time to lose. They +have taken you for the snake-eating lady and the rubber-skinned boy, +who ran away when I did and who were to meet me here in Chicago. If +you will turn your heads away so I can dress, I will continue. You +have heard of prenatal influences. Shortly before I was born, my +mother made nine pumpkin pies and set them to cool on a stone wall +beneath the shade of a large elm. As luck would have it, a menagerie +passed by and an elephant grabbed those pies one after another and ate +them. The sight of that enormous pachyderm gobbling my mother's +cherished handiwork, completely upset her. I was born with two noses +like the two tusks of the beast. At the same time, like the trunk, +they are movable. My two noses are as mobile and useful as two fingers +and if you have a quarter with you, I will gladly perform some curious +feats. My noses being so near together, ordinarily, I join them with +flesh-colored wax. I then seem to have but one nose, although a very +large one. I thus escape the annoying attention of the multitude, +which is very disagreeable to a proud man of good family, like me. +Young man, do you ever drink? In Dubuque, they got me drunk so I +didn't know what I was about and I signed a contract with a dime +museum company for twenty-five dollars a week. Take warning from my +fate. Never drink, never drink." + +"I can well imagine your sufferings at being a spectacle for a ribald +crowd," said William. "To a man of refined sensibilities, it must be +excruciating, and it was an outrage to entrap you into such a +contract." + +"I ought to have had seventy-five and could have got fifty. So I ran +away. Well, now, how are we going to get out of here? Can you climb +over the transom, young man?" + +As he said these words, the door flew open and in rushed some +villainous looking men, who gagged, handcuffed, and shackled Miss +Montmorency, William, and the two-nosed man. + +"We have the legal right to do this," said the leader, displaying the +badge of the Jinkins private detective agency. "Advices from Dubuque +set us at work. We early located Sheldrup at this hotel, and when the +clerk saw the rubber-skinned boy and the snake-eating lady come in, he +suspicioned who they was at once and by a great stroke, put 'em in +with old two-nose. Do you think we are going to put you through for +breach of contract and for swiping that money out of the till on the +claim it was due you on salary? Nit. Cost too much, take too much +time, and you git sent to jail instead of being back in the museum +helping draw crowds. We are in for saving time and trouble for you, +us, and your employer. To-night you ride out of here for Dubuque, +covered up with hay, in the corner of the car carrying the new trick +horse for the museum. Save your fare and all complications. Now, boys, +we want to work this on the quiet, so we will just leave 'em all here +until the streets are deserted and there won't be anybody around to +notice us gitting 'em into the hack." + +"Hadn't one of us better stay?" asked a subordinate. + +"How can people gagged, their ankles shackled, their hands handcuffed +behind 'em, git out? Why, I'll just leave the handcuff keys here on +the table and tantalize 'em." + +Tears welled in the soft, beauteous orbs of Miss Montmorency and +William's eyes spoke keen distress, but Mr. Sheldrup's eyes gleamed +triumphantly above the cloth tied about the lower part of his face. +Hardly had the steps of the detectives died away on the stair, when a +little click was heard behind Miss Montmorency and her handcuffs fell +to the floor. There stood Mr. Sheldrup, politely bowing, with the key +held between his two noses. She seized it and in a twinkling, the +bonds of all had been removed and, forcing the door, they started +away. At the street entrance stood the policeman who had insulted Miss +Montmorency! + +"Oh, he's waiting for me, and I'll get six months. He knew where I'd +go. I haven't any money," and tears not only filled the wondrous +optics of poor Miss Montmorency, but flowed down her cheeks. + +"Six months, your grandmother. I'll not go back on you. Young man, +follow me into the office and when I am fairly in front of the clerk, +give me a shove," and the two-nosed man, with a grip in each hand, +walked up to the clerk and began to rebuke him for his ungentlemanly +and unprincipled conduct. + +"You white-livered son of a sea-cook, you double-dyed, concentrated +essence of a skunk," and at that moment young William pushed him and +the two-nosed gentleman lurched forward, and bending his head to avoid +contact with the clerk's face, it rested against the latter's bosom +for a moment. Departing immediately, at the foot of the stairs the +two-nosed gentleman said to the policeman: + +"Officer, please let this lady pass. For various reasons, I desire it +enough to spare this stud, which will look well upon the best +policeman on the force." + +"All right," said the policeman. "Go along for all of me, Bet +Higgins," and he courteously accepted the diamond. + +"My stage name," said Miss Montmorency, in answer to an inquiring look +from William. "The name I sign to articles in the Sunday papers." + +"Now of course they are watching all the depots," said the two-nosed +gentleman. "Before they located me here they did that, and as they +have also been looking for the snake-eating lady and the +rubber-skinned boy, our late captors have not had time to notify them +that we have been captured. It is useless to try to escape that way, +then; it is too far to walk out, or go by street car, and as it is a +fair, moonlight night with a soft breeze, I am for getting a boat and +sailing out." + +After some search, they found a small sail boat. Miss Montmorency had +decided to flee from the wicked city with the two-nosed gentleman. She +had heard such delightful reports of Michigan. The owner of the boat +not being there and there being no probability that they would ever +return it, the two-nosed gentleman wrote a check on a Dubuque bank for +one hundred and seventy-five dollars, and Miss Montmorency an order on +the school board for a like amount, and these they pinned up where the +boatman could find them. + +"It will be quite like a fairy tale when the good boatman comes in the +morning and finds this large sum left him by those to whom his little +craft has been of such inestimable service," said William, and then +for fear the boatman might not find the check and the order, in two +other places he pinned up cards giving the whereabouts of the +remuneration for the boat and some statement concerning the +circumstances of its requisition. On the back of one of the cards had +been penciled his name and city address, and though he had erased the +black of this inscription, the impression yet remained distinctly +legible. This erasure was not due to any desire to conceal his +identity or lodgings, but because he had thought at first that he +could not get all the information on one side of the card. Having seen +his friends go slipping out on the deep, he turned pensively homeward, +somewhat heavy of heart, for when one faces perils with another, fast +friendships are quickly welded. + +In the morning, young William was arrested and lodged in jail and a +corrupt and venal judge laughed with contempt at his plea. After three +long days in jail, came Mr. Hicks, senior, who compounded with the +boat owner for two hundred and fifty dollars, the boat being, as the +owner swore, of Spanish cedar with nickel-plated trimmings. + + * * * * * + +"That is always the way when a person of good heart befriends +another," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Alas, too often," said the emir of the tribe of Al-Yam. "But I am +pleased to say that when once across the lake, the two-nosed gentleman +married Miss Montmorency, who whatever she might be, did not lack +certainly womanly qualities and had been the sport of an unkind world. +Having something to live for, the two-nosed gentleman signed with a +Detroit dime museum company at seventy-five dollars a week. His two +noses were not the most remarkable thing about him, for in course of +time hearing of young William's misadventure, he sent him a sum +equivalent to all the episode had cost him, together with a handsome +diamond stud, which he had with great deftness and cleverness taken +from the officious policeman, as he visited the dime museum with two +ladies while spending his vacation in Detroit. And this beautiful +ornament William delighted to wear, not merely because of its +intrinsic worth, which was considerable, but through regard for its +thoughtful and considerate donor." + +"The two-nosed man did truly show himself a man of gratitude, and I am +glad to hear of such an instance. Yet from what you said of him in the +beginning of the tale, I should not have expected it of him. How often +is one deceived by appearances and how hard it is to trust to them." + +"Even the wisest is unable to distinguish an enemy wearing the guise +of a friend, but we may bring to our assistance the aid of forces more +powerful than our poor little human intelligence. Let me present you +with a talisman which will ever warn you when any one plots against +you." + +"How?" + +"How? You must wait until some one plots against you and the talisman +will answer that question. Its ways of warning will be as manifold as +the plots villains may conceive. Here is the talisman, an Egyptian +scarabæus of pure gold. So cunningly fashioned is it that not nature +itself made ever a bug more perfect in the outward seeming." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir._ + + +Putting the scarabæus in his left trousers pocket, Mr. Middleton +departed, and as he went about his affairs during the next several +days, he ceased to think of the talisman, but on the fourth day his +attention was recalled to it in a way that indeed seemed to prove that +it was a charm possessed of the powers the emir of the tribe of Al-Yam +had attributed to it. He was faring northward in a street car at +eleven of the morning, diverting himself with the study of the +passengers sitting opposite, when he became aware that the scarabæus +in his left trousers pocket was slowly traveling up his leg. Had the +talisman been other than the heavy object it was, he would not have +noticed it, but it was of too considerable weight to travel over his +person without making its progress felt. Deterred by none of the +superstitious tremors which the unaccountable peregrinations of the +gold beetle would have excited in one less intrepid, he quickly thrust +his hand into his pocket to close it over another hand already there, +a hand which beyond a first little start to escape, lay passive and +unresisting, a hand soft and delicate, yet well-muscled withal, +long-fingered and finely formed. At the same time, a well-modulated +voice at his side exclaimed: + +"Why, I did not recognize you at first. I was not looking when you +came and you evidently did not notice me." + +"No, I did not," said Mr. Middleton, composedly, still retaining his +grasp upon the hand in his pocket. "I cannot see that you have changed +any," he continued, scrutinizing the young woman at his side, for she +was young and, moreover, of a very pleasing presence, and he did not +altogether rebel against the circumstances that allowed him to fondle +the hand of one so comely. The day, which had begun with a slight +chill, had turned off warm and she had removed her cloak, which, lying +across her own lap and partially across Mr. Middleton's, had been the +blind behind which she had introduced her hand into the pocket where +reposed the fateful talisman. + +The persons in the car seemed to take an interest in this sudden +recognition on the part of a pair who had been riding side by side for +so long, oblivious of each other's identity. Moreover, the young woman +was tastefully gowned and of a very smart appearance, while Mr. +Middleton's new suit became him and fitted him nicely and altogether +they were a couple nearly any one would find pleasure in looking upon. +A slight movement to withdraw the hand lying within his own, caused +Mr. Middleton's grasp to tighten and almost simultaneously, the young +woman at his side leaned forward and with a look in which sorrow and +pain were mingled, said in a lowered voice: + +"Oh, I have such a dreadful thing to tell you about our friend Amy. I +hate to tell you, but as I wish to bespeak your kind offices, I must +do so. I am going to ask you to be the agent of a restitution. She +has, oh, she has become a kleptomaniac. With every luxury, with her +fine home on the Lake Shore Drive, with all her father's wealth, with +no want money can gratify, she takes things. In her circumstances it +is out of the question to call it stealing. It is a mania, a form of +insanity. When she is doing it, she seems to be in the grasp of some +other mind, to be another person, and her actions are involuntary, +unconscious. Then she seems to come to herself, when her agony is +dreadful to behold." + +The young woman's voice broke a little here, she paused a moment to +resume control of herself, and perceiving her eyes swimming with tears +and her lips quivering with unhappiness, Mr. Middleton was penetrated +with pity and pressed most tenderly and sympathetically the delicate +hand of which he was temporarily custodian. + +"She took things in stores, trumpery, cheap things. She took magazines +and penny papers from news stands. But oh, she descended to the +dreadful depths of--oh, I can hardly tell it--she was detected in +trying to pick a man's pocket. It is here that I wish to employ you as +an agent of restitution, or rather retribution, I should say. Will you +please take this ring off my left hand and take it to the man she +tried to rob? I cannot use the fingers of my right hand owing to +temporary incapacitation," and she held out to Mr. Middleton her left +hand, upon the third finger of which gleamed a splendid ring of +diamonds and emeralds. Mr. Middleton possessed himself of this second +hand, but paused, and regarding the sweet face turned up to his so +beseechingly, so piteously, said: + +"But that would be compounding a felony. And how do you know the man +will not have her arrested anyway?" + +"The man is a gentleman and having heard her story, will not think of +such a thing. You are to ask him to accept the ring not as a price for +immunity from arrest, but as a punishment, a retribution to Amy. The +loss of the ring, which she has commissioned me to get to this +gentleman in some manner, will be a lesson she is only too anxious to +give herself, a forcible reminder, as it were. Let me beg of you to +undertake this commission." + +All the while, Mr. Middleton was retaining hold of both the hands of +the sorrowful young woman. Had they been other than the soft and +shapely hands they were, had they been hard and gnarled and large, +long before would he, melted by compassion at the young woman's tale, +have released her. But her very charms had been her undoing and +because of her perfect hands, this tale has grown long. That he might +have excuse in the eyes of the other passengers for holding the young +woman's hand, Mr. Middleton removed the ring as he had been bidden, +planning to return it shortly. As he removed the ring, he released the +hand in his pocket and his plan was frustrated by the young woman +starting up with the exclamation that she had passed her corner, and +springing from the car. She was so far in advance of him, when he +succeeded in getting off the car and was walking so rapidly, that he +could not overtake her except by running, and he was averse to +attracting the attention that this would occasion. So he determined to +shadow her and ascertaining her residence, find some means of +restoring the ring without the knowledge of her friends, as he had no +desire to do anything which might cause them to learn of her +unfortunate infirmity, especially, as this last experience might have +worked a cure. She did indeed enter a stately mansion of the Lake +Shore Drive--but by the back door. + +Pondering upon this episode, Mr. Middleton went to an acquaintance who +kept a large loan bank on Madison Street, who, after discovering that +he had no desire to pawn the ring, appraised it at seven hundred +dollars. + +On the following evening, Mr. Middleton was replacing his new suit by +his old, as was his custom when he intended to remain in his room of +an evening. This example cannot be too highly commended to all young +men. The amount which would be saved in this nation were all to +economize in this way, would be sufficient to buy beer for all the +Teutonic citizens of the large state of Illinois. As Mr. Middleton was +changing his clothes, the scarabæus dropped from his pocket and as he +picked it up, a collar button fell from his neckband, and scrambling +for it as it rolled toward the unexplored regions under his bed, he +tripped and sprawled at full length, his nose coming in sharp contact +with an evening paper lying on the floor. He was about to rise from +his recumbent position, when his eyes, glancing along his nose to +discover if it had sustained any injury, observed that said member +rested upon a notice which read: + + "Lost, a diamond and emerald ring. $800 will be paid for its + return and no questions asked. David O. Crecelius." + +The address was that of the house on the Lake Shore Drive which the +kleptomaniac had entered! Once more did the scarabæus seem to be +exerting its influence. But for the talisman, he would never have seen +the notice, and a little shiver ran through him as he thought of this. +Immediately he reclothed himself in his new suit. + +"There is time for me to think out a course of action between here and +my destination," said he. "The walking so conducive to reflection can +be much better employed in taking me toward the Lake Shore Drive, than +in uselessly pacing my room, and I'll be there when I get through." + +As he traveled eastward, he engaged in a series of ratiocinative +processes and the result of the deductive and inductive reasoning +which he applied to the case in hand, was as follows: + +The kleptomaniac could hardly be a daughter of the house. She would +have entered by the front door. If she were the daughter of the house, +she would not have had the ring advertised for, counting herself +fortunate to get out of the difficulty so cheaply. However, if her +parents had noted the absence of the ring, she might have said it was +lost and so they advertised, but nothing could have been further from +her wishes, for there would be the great danger that the outcome of +the advertisement would be a complete exposure. She could easily +prevent her parents noticing the ring was gone, at least making +satisfactory explanations for not wearing it. With her wealth, she +could have it duplicated inside of a few days and her friends never +know the original was lost. As this is what the daughter of the house +in all probability would have done, the kleptomaniac could hardly have +been the daughter of the house. He suspected that she was a lady's +maid, who, wearing her mistress's jewelry, had purchased her way out +of one difficulty at the risk of getting into another. The +advertisement would seem to indicate that she was trusted. The +disappearance of the ring was apparently not connected with her. The +matter was very simple. He would hand over the ring and take the eight +hundred dollars and need say nothing that would implicate the young +woman, be she daughter of the house and kleptomaniac, or serving-maid +and common thief. But one thing puzzled him. Why was the reward +greater than the value of the ring? + +Eight hundred dollars. The young lady in Englewood was getting nearer. + +A bitter east wind was blowing as he walked up to the entrance of the +mansion of Mr. David Crecelius. Behind him the street lay all deserted +and the melancholy voice of the waves filled the air. Nowhere could he +see a light about the house and he was oppressed by a feeling of +undefinable apprehension as he pressed the bell. A considerable +interval elapsing without any one appearing and a second and a third +ringing failing to elicit any response from within the silent pile, he +was about to depart, feeling greatly relieved that it was not +necessary to hold parley with any one within the gloomy and forbidding +edifice, when he heard a sudden light thud at his feet and discovered +that the scarabæus had dropped through a hole in his trousers' pocket +which had at that moment reached a size large enough to allow it to +escape. After a hurried search, he had possessed himself of the +talisman and was about to depart, when the door swung open before him +and a venerable white-haired man stood in a dim green glow. Boldly did +Mr. Middleton enter, for had not the talisman delayed him until the +venerable man opened the door? + +"Come in, sir, come in," said the venerable man, whom Mr. Middleton +saw was none other than David O. Crecelius, the capitalist, whose +portraits he had seen again and again in the Sunday papers and the +weekly papers of a moral and entertaining nature, accompanying +accounts of his life and achievements, with exhortations to the youth +of the land to imitate them, advice which Mr. Middleton then and there +resolved to follow, reflecting upon the impeccable sources from which +it emanated. + +"All the servants seem to be gone. My family is abroad and the +household force has been cut down, and I have given everybody leave to +go out to-night, all but one maid, and she seems to have gone, too," +said Mr. Crecelius, leading Mr. Middleton into a spacious salon and +seating him near where great portières of a funereal purple moved +uneasily in the superheated atmosphere of the house. At that moment, a +voice from the hallway, a voice he had surely heard before, said: + +"Did some one ring? I am very sorry, but it was impossible for me to +come," and Mr. Middleton was aware that some one was looking hard at +the back of his head. + +"Yes. I let them in. It's no matter. Run away now." + +When Mr. Middleton had finished explaining the reason for his call and +had fished up the ring, Mr. Crecelius did not, as he had expected he +would, arise and make out a check for $800. + +"This ring," said that gentleman after a little pause, "have you it +with you?" + +Mr. Middleton glanced at the hollow of his left hand. He had fished up +the scarabæus instead of the ring. But his left thumb soon showed him +the ring was safe in his vest pocket. The delay and caution of Mr. +Crecelius, and above all, the prevention of the immediate delivery of +the ring caused by the scarabæus coming up in its stead caused Mr. +Middleton to delay. + +"It can be produced," said he. + +"How did you get it?" + +"It came into my possession innocently enough so far as I was +concerned. As to the person from whom I received it, that is a +different matter, but though I made no promises, I feel I am in honor +bound not to disclose that person's identity." + +As he uttered these words, Mr. Middleton saw the portière at his side +rustle slightly. It was not the swaying caused by the currents of +overheated air. + +"I will give you two hundred dollars more to tell me who gave you or +sold you the ring." + +"I cannot do that." + +"Very well. I'll only give you four hundred dollars reward." + +"The ring is worth more than that." + +"If you retain it, or sell it, you become a thief." + +"You have advertised eight hundred dollars reward and no questions +asked. I may have found it. Knowing of your loss through reading your +advertisement, I may have gone to great trouble to recover it. At any +rate, I have it. I deliver it. Your advertisement is in effect a +contract which I can call upon you to carry out. The ring is not mine, +but for my services in getting it, I am entitled to the eight hundred +dollars you agree to give. You cannot give less." + +"Do you think it right to take advantage of my necessity in this way? +You ought to accept less. The ring is not worth over seven hundred +dollars. For returning it, three hundred dollars ought to be enough. +It is wrong to drive a hard bargain by taking advantage of my +necessity." + +"You have built your fortune on such principles. You have engineered +countless schemes and your dollars came from the straits you reduced +others to." + +"But do you think it right? What I may have done, does not justify +you. I venture to say you and other young chaps have sat with heels +cocked up and pipes in mouth and discussed me and called me a villain +for doing what you are trying to do with me." + +"I have indeed. But that was in the past and I have changed my views +materially. At present, I have the exclusive possession of the ability +to secure something you very much want. You offered eight hundred +dollars. Intrinsically, the ring is not worth it, but for certain +reasons, possession of the ring is worth eight hundred dollars." + +"Possession of the ring! Certain reasons!" said Mr. Crecelius, +springing to his feet and pacing up and down the room angrily. As Mr. +Middleton was cudgelling his brains to find some reason for this +outburst of anger, he became cognizant of a small piece of folded +paper lying near his feet. He was about to pick it up and hand it to +the financier, when he was stayed by the reflection that it might have +dropped from his own pocket and examining it, read: + + "It's his wife's ring. I wore it along with some of her other + things. Ten years ago, he gave it to another woman, and his wife + found it out and he had to buy it back. He is afraid his wife + will think he gave the ring away a second time. That is why I + dared give it to you. Make him give you a thousand. + + "The One You Didn't Give Away." + +Mr. Middleton put the note in his pocket, and the eminent capitalist +having ceased pacing and standing gazing at him, he remarked: + +"Certain reasons, such as preventing an altercation with your wife +over her suspicions that you had not lost the ring, but had disposed +of it as on a former occasion ten years since." + +"Young man, you cannot blackmail me. My wife knows all about that. The +knowledge of that occurrence is worthless as a piece of blackmail." + +"As blackmail, yes; but not worthless as an indication of the extent +you desire to regain possession of the ring. Your wife knows of your +former escapade and that is gone and past. But the present +disappearance of the ring will cause her to think you have repeated +the escapade. This knowledge of certain conditions causes me to see +that my services in securing and delivering the ring are worth one +thousand dollars. Upon the payment of that sum, cash, I hand you the +ring." + +The distinguished money-king gave Mr. Middleton a very black look and +then left the room to return almost immediately with a thousand +dollars in bills, which Mr. Middleton counted, placed in his vest +pocket, and forthwith delivered the ring. As he did so, yielding to +the pride with which the successful outcome of his tilt with the great +capitalist inflamed him, he remarked with a condescension which the +suavity of his tones could not conceal: + +"Had you, sir, employed in this affair the perspicacity you have +displayed on so many notable occasions, it would have occurred to you +that this ring, being of a common pattern, could be duplicated for +seven hundred dollars and so you be saved both money and worry." + +A look of admiration overspread the face of the eminent manipulator, +and grasping Mr. Middleton's hand with great fervor, he exclaimed: + +"A man after my own heart. I am always ready to acknowledge a defeat. +You have good stuff in you. I must know you better. You must stay and +have a glass of champagne with me. I will get it myself," and he +hurried out of the room. + +In the state of Wisconsin, from which Mr. Middleton hailed, there is a +great deal of the alcoholic beverage, beer, but such champagne as is +to be found there is all due to importation, since it is not native to +the soil, but is brought in at great expense from France, La Belle +France, and New Jersey, La Belle New Jersey. Mr. Middleton had seen, +smelled, and tasted beer, but champagne was unknown to him save by +hearsay, and his improper curiosity and his readiness to succumb to +temptation caused him to linger in the salon of Mr. Crecelius, thereby +nearly accomplishing his ruin. Suddenly there was a patter of light +steps across the floor, a hand fell lightly on his shoulder and a +voice lightly on his ear. + +"You made him raving mad when you said what you did. He telephoned the +police. Now he has gone for the wine and will try to hold you until +they come." + +"But he cannot arrest me. I have done nothing," said Mr. Middleton, +his heart going pit-a-pat, in spite of the boldness of his words. + +"He can make all sorts of trouble for you. Even if you did come out +all right in the end, think of the trouble. Come, come quick!" + +A soft hand had grasped one of his and he was up and away, following +his fair guide up stairs, through the house, and down into the +kitchen. + +"I have recovered my wits a bit," said Mr. Middleton. "He is so angry +that he has no thought but immediate vengeance, and so accordingly +telephones the police, and if they were to catch me here, it certainly +would be bad. But to-morrow he will be in a mood to appreciate the +good sense of the letter I shall send him, calling his attention to +the fact that if he arrests me, in the trial there must come out the +reason why I demanded one thousand dollars, the story of his domestic +indiscretion, and so he will not think of pursuing the matter +further." + +"It was very kind and very noble of you not to expose me," said the +young woman in a voice in which gratitude and sadness were mingled; +"and all the admiration and gratitude a woman can feel under such +circumstances, I feel toward you. To you I owe my continued good name +and even my very freedom. I know that marriage with such as you, is +not for such as me. I am going to ask you to give to her who would +have all, but expects and deserves nothing, the consolation of a kiss. +Whatever happy maiden may be so fortunate as to receive your love, I +shall have treasured in memory the golden remembrance that once my +preserver bestowed on me the symbol of love." + +Mr. Middleton looked down at the girl, supplicating for the favor her +sex is wont to deny, and he said to himself that seldom had he seen a +more flower-like face. Her lovely lips were already puckered in a rosy +pout, her hands raised ready to rest on his shoulders as he should +encircle her with his arms, when he noted with a start that her eyes, +snapping, alert, and eager, were bent not upon his face, but upon his +upper left hand vest pocket, where bulged the one thousand dollars in +bills. + +"I am more than honored and I shall be ravished with delight to +comply. But here, where we stand, we are exposed to view from three +sides. If Mr. Crecelius were to look in and see you being kissed by +me, whom he so dislikes, in what a bad plight you would be. Not even +for the exquisite pleasure of kissing you would I subject you to such +a danger. But in the shadow by the outer door, we would not be seen." + +As he said these words, Mr. Middleton placed the money in his inside +vest pocket, buttoned his vest, buttoned his inner coat, and buttoned +his overcoat, moving toward the outer door as he did so, the young +woman following him more and more slowly, the light in her eyes dying +with each successive buttoning. In fact, she did not enter into the +shadow at all, and Mr. Middleton stepped back a bit when he threw his +arms about her and pressed her to his bosom. Perfunctorily and coldly +did she yield to his embrace, but whatever ardor was lacking on her +part, was compensated for by Mr. Middleton, who clasped her with +exceeding tightness and showered kisses upon her pouting lips until +she pushed him from her, exclaiming with annoyance: + +"You've kissed me quite enough, you great big softy." + +Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when on the ensuing +evening he sat in the presence of the young lady of Englewood, nor did +he, when on the evening thereafter he once more sat in the presence of +the urbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of +delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of +Nora Sullivan and the Student of Heredity. + + + + +_The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity._ + + +It was the time of full moon. As the orb of day dropped its red, huge +disk below the western horizon, over the opposite side of the world, +the moon, even more huge and scarcely less red, rose to irradiate with +its mild beams the scenes which the shadows of darkness had not yet +touched. Miss Nora Sullivan, a teacher in the public schools of the +metropolis, sat upon the front porch of the paternal residence +enjoying the loveliness of the vernal prospect and the balm of the +air, for it was in the flowery month of June. Although the residence +of Timothy Sullivan was well within the limits of the municipality of +Chicago, one visiting at that hospitable abode might imagine himself +in the country. From no part of the enclosure could you, during the +leafy season, see another human habitation. A quarter of a mile down +the road to the east, the electric cars for Calumet could be seen +flitting by, but except at the intervals of their passing, there was +seldom anything to suggest that the location was part of a great city. +A quarter of a mile to the west, on the edge of a marsh--a situation +well suited to such culture--lived a person engaged in the raising of +African geese. As it is probable that you may never have heard of +African geese, I will tell you that they are the largest of their +tribe and that specimens of them often weigh as high as seventy +pounds. + +The person engaged in the culture of African geese was Wilhelm +Klingenspiel, a man of German ancestry, but born in this country. Miss +Sullivan had often heard of him, she had even partaken of the left leg +of an African goose, which leg he had given Mr. Sullivan for the +Sunday dinner, but she had never seen him. As Wilhelm Klingenspiel was +young and single and as no other man of any description lived in the +vicinity, it is not strange that Nora, who was also young and single, +should sometimes fall to thinking of Mr. Klingenspiel and wonder what +manner of man he was. + +On this evening so attuned to romantic reveries, when the flowers, the +birds, and all nature spoke of love, more than ever did Nora +Sullivan's thoughts turn toward the large grove of trees to the +westward in the midst of which Wilhelm Klingenspiel had his home and +carried on his pleasant and harmless vocation of raising African +geese. The evening song of the geese, tempered and sweetened by +distance, came to her, accompanied by the most extraordinary booming +and racketing of frogs which is to be heard outside of the tropical +zone; for not only did Klingenspiel raise the largest geese on this +terraqueous globe, but having, as a means of cheapening the cost of +their production, devoted himself to the increasing of their natural +food, by principles well known to all breeders he had developed a +breed of frogs as monstrous among their kind as African geese are +among theirs. By these huge batrachians was an extensive marsh +inhabited, and battening upon the succulent nutriment thus afforded, +the African geese gained a size and flavor which was rapidly making +the fortune of Wilhelm Klingenspiel. + +Nora had often meditated upon plans for making the acquaintance of +Wilhelm, but it was plain that he was either very bashful or so +immersed in his pursuits as to be indifferent to the charms of woman, +for he had never made an attempt to see Nora in all the six months she +had been his neighbor, and she was well worth seeing. + +Accordingly, she decided that if she did not wish to indefinitely +postpone making the acquaintance of the poulterer, she must take the +initiative. Timothy Sullivan was a market gardener. Klingenspiel was +not the only man in the neighborhood who grew big things. Mr. Sullivan +was experimenting upon some cabbages of unusual size. He had started +them in a hothouse during the winter. Later transferred to the garden, +they had attained an amplitude such as few if any cabbages had ever +attained before. In the pleasant light of the moon, even now was he +engaged with the cabbages, pouring something upon them from a watering +pot. As she watched her father, it occurred to Nora that she could +find no more suitable excuse for visiting Mr. Klingenspiel than in +carrying him some present in return for the goose's left leg he had +presented her family for a Sunday dinner, and that there was no more +appropriate present than one of the great cabbages. + +No sooner had her father gone in than, selecting the largest cabbage, +she started off with it, putting it in a small push-cart, as it was so +large as to be too heavy and inconvenient to carry. It was somewhat +late to call, but the evening was so delightful that Wilhelm +Klingenspiel could hardly have gone to bed. Proceeding on her way, as +the road passed into the swampy land of Klingenspiel's domain, her +attention was engaged by the fact that a most singular commotion was +taking place among the giant batrachians at some remote place south of +the road. Their ordinary calls had increased both in volume and +frequency, and at intervals she heard the sound of crashing in the +brake and brush, as if some objects of unheard of size were falling +into the marsh. Looking in the direction whence the sounds came, she +saw indistinct and vague against the night sky, an enormous rounded +thing rise in the air and descend, whereupon was borne to her another +of the strange crashings. These inexplicable sounds and the +inexplicable sight would have frightened Miss Sullivan had she not the +resources with which modern science fortifies the mind against +credulity and superstition. The round object, she told herself, was +some sudden puff of smoke on a railway track far beyond; the crashing +was the shunting of cars, which things, coming coincidentally with a +battle of the frogs, to an ignorant mind would appear to be a +phenomenon in the immediate vicinity. Bearing in mind that this +seemingly real, but impossible, phenomenon could only be due to a +fortuitous concatenation of actual occurrences, Nora was not disturbed +in her mind. Leaving her cart some little distance up the road, in +order that she might not be seen in the undignified position of +pushing it, she walked into Klingenspiel's front yard, bearing her +gift. + +The two-story white house of Wilhelm Klingenspiel seemed to be +deserted. Despite the genial season, every door was shut, and so was +every window, so far as Nora could see, for if any windows were open +down stairs, at least the blinds were shut. There were no blinds in +the second story. Looking around in no little disappointment, she was +astonished to see a row of sheds and fences in rear of the house had +been demolished as if struck by a cyclone and that a goodly sized barn +had departed from its normal position and with frame intact was lying +on its side like a toy barn tipped over by a child. As she was gazing +upon this ruinage and striving to conjecture what had caused it, she +heard a voice, muffled and strange, yet distinctly audible, saying: + +"Ribot is running amuck, Ribot is running amuck," and looking up she +beheld, darkly visible against the panes of an upper story window, a +human form. As she looked, the form disappeared and presently a person +rushed from the front door, hauled her into the house and upstairs, +where she found herself still holding her cabbage and observing a +short man of a full habit, with a round moon face, illuminated by a +large pair of spectacles that sustained themselves with difficulty +upon a very snub nose. He was nearly bald, yet nevertheless of a +kindly, studious, and astute appearance. One did not need to look +twice to see that Wilhelm Klingenspiel was a scholar. + +"What--what--what is the matter?" exclaimed Nora. + +"Ribot is running amuck." + +"Who is Ribot?" + +Klingenspiel was about to answer, when the whole air was filled with +what one would have called a squeal if it had been one fiftieth part +so loud, and over a row of willow bushes across the road leapt an +astounding great creature, twice as large as the largest elephant, and +Nora began to realize that her scientific deductions regarding the +phenomenon in the swamp had been utterly erroneous. The creature was +of an oblong build, rounded in contour, and its hide was marked by +large blotches of black and rufous yellow upon a ground of white. With +extreme swiftness the creature scurried down the road, its legs being +so short in proportion to its body and moving with such twinkling +rapidity that it seemed to be propelled upon wheels. The appearance of +this strange monster and the appalling character of its squealing, +caused Nora to tremble like a leaf, but the animal having departed, a +laudable curiosity made her forget her fears, and she asked: + +"What is it?" + +"That was Ribot." + +"Who and what is Ribot?" + +"Ribot was a celebrated French scientist, an authority on the subject +of heredity. You doubtless know something of the subject, how certain +traits appear in families generation after generation. Accidental +traits, if repeated for two or three generations, often become +inherent traits. To show you to what a strange extent this is true, I +will call your attention to the case of the ducal house of Bethune in +France, where three successive generations having had the left hand +cut off at the wrist in battle, the next three generations were born +without a left hand." + +The erudite dissertation of Wilhelm Klingenspiel was here interrupted +by the reappearance of the mottled monster, who, with a scream that +filled the blue vault of heaven, rushed into the yard and paused +before a mighty oak, whose sturdy trunk had stood rooted in that soil +before the city of Chicago existed, before the United States was born, +when Cahokia was the capital of Illinois and the flag of France waved +over the great West. The flash of terrible white teeth showed in the +moonlight as the monster gnawed at the base of the tree a few times +and with a crash its leafy length lay upon the ground. Contemplating +for a brief space the ruin it had wrought, the monster emitted another +of its appalling screams and was off once more on its erratic, aimless +course. + +"What in the world is this awful creature?" cried Nora. + +"The subject of heredity," resumed Klingenspiel, "is one of vast +importance, and although its principles are well understood, man has +hitherto not touched the possibilities that can be accomplished. The +span of a man's life is so short that in selecting and breeding choice +strains of animals, an individual can see only a comparatively small +number of generations succeed each other. Suppose some one family had +for two hundred years carried on continuous experiments in breeding +any race of animals. What remarkable results would have been attained! +Behold what remarkable results are attained in raising varieties of +plants, where the swiftness of succeeding generations enables man to +accomplish what he seeks in a very short time. Observing the +difficulties that confront the animal breeder and wishing to see in my +own lifetime certain results that might ordinarily be expected only in +a duration of several lifetimes, I sought an animal which came to +maturity rapidly, whose generations succeeded each rapidly. At the +same time, I wanted an animal comparatively highly organized, a +mammal, not a reptile." + +At this point, his instructive discourse was interrupted by the +reappearance of the monster, which charged into the yard with its nose +to the ground, following some scent, sniffing so loudly that the sound +was plainly audible despite the closed window. After having hastened +about the yard for a few moments it was off up the road to the +eastward, still with nose to the ground, until coming to the push cart +left at the roadside by Nora, it examined it carefully and then with a +sudden access of unaccountable rage, fell upon it and demolished it, +beating and chewing it into bits. + +Whatever celerity this terrible beast had exhibited before, was now +completely eclipsed, as with nose to the ground, it rushed back to the +yard, straight to the house, and rearing on its hinder quarters, +placed its forelegs on the porch roof, which gave way beneath the +ponderous weight. Not disconcerted by the removal of this support, the +monster continued to maintain its sitting posture, looking in the +window at the terrified persons beyond, snapping and gnashing its huge +jaws in a manner terrible to hear and still more terrible to +contemplate. Nora was partially reassured by observing that the +animal's head was too wide to go through the window, but the hopes +thus raised were dashed by Klingenspiel moaning: + +"He'll gnaw right through the house, he'll chew right through the +roof. He'll get in. He has smelled that big cabbage and he'll get in." + +"In that case," remarked Nora, with decision, "I'll not wait for him +to come in to get the cabbage, but throw it out to him," and raising +the window, thrust out the cabbage, which having caught with a +deftness unexpected in a creature of its bulk, the beast retired a +short space and proceeded to eat with every appearance of enjoyment. + +"In Paris, a few years ago," resumed Klingenspiel, "one of the learned +faculty that lend a well deserved renown to the medical department of +that ancient institution, the University of Paris, discovered an +elixir which used during the period of human growth--and even +after--causes the stature to increase. By depositing an increased +supply of the matter necessary to the formation of bones, the frame +increases and the fleshy covering grows with it. You have doubtless +read of this in the papers, as I have seen it mentioned there recently +myself----" + +"I beg your pardon," interrupted Nora, "but I must know what that +monster is. Please do not keep me in suspense any longer." + +"Allow me to develop my discourse in its natural sequence," said +Klingenspiel. "I learned of this elixir at the time its originator +first formulated it and as we were friends, I secured from him the +formula----" + +"What is that animal?" cried Nora, seizing Klingenspiel's ear with a +dexterity born of long experience in educational work, and lifting him +slowly toward a position upon the points of his toes. + +"A guinea pig, a guinea pig, a guinea pig," howled the student of +heredity. + +"You guinea, you," exclaimed Nora in incredulous amazement, and yet as +she looked at the monster, which having finished the cabbage was +crouching contentedly between two huge elms, she was struck by the +familiarity of the markings and contour of the tremendous brute. +Turning in such wise that of the appendices of his countenance it +should be his short and elusive nose instead of his ears presented +toward the grasp of the expert in the science of pedagogy, +Klingenspiel continued. + +"Generations of guinea pigs succeed each other in less than three +months. In less than ten months, a pair of guinea pigs become +great-grandfather and great-grandmother. In a few years, heredity +could here do what a century of breeding horses could not. I treated a +pair of young guinea pigs with the elixir. Their growth was wonderful. +Their children inherited the size of their parents and to this the +elixir added, and so on, cumulatively, for successive generations. I +kept only a single pair out of each brood and disposed of that pair as +soon as the next generation became grown. I did this partly because I +could thus conduct my experiment with greater secrecy. Besides, after +the guinea pigs were large enough, I found considerable profit in +selling their hides for leather. Unfortunately, the animal is unfit +for food. My labors, therefore, were bent upon creating a breed of +draught animals, creatures greater than elephants and with the agility +of guinea pigs. A team of these guinea pigs would outstrip the fastest +horse, though hauling a load of tons. The hide, too, would be +extremely valuable. I had at last reached a size beyond which I did +not care to go. Ribot and his mate were twice the bulk of elephants. I +was now ready to establish a herd. But alas! Two days ago, the mate +died. All my labors were for nothing. I had only the one enormous male +left. All the connecting links between him and the first small +ancestors are gone. But worse. As is often the case with male +elephants when the mate dies, Ribot went mad, ran amuck. Hitherto +docile and kind, as is the nature of the _Cavia cobaya_, vulgarly +called guinea pig, this evening Ribot became as you have seen him. I +have lost my labors. Momentarily I expect to lose my life." + +"What's the matter with it now? Look at it, look at it," exclaimed +Nora. + +Ribot had rolled on his back and after giving a few feeble twitches of +his great legs, remained without life, his legs pointing stiffly into +the air. + +"He is dead," said Klingenspiel, and Nora was unable to tell whether +relief and joy or regret and despair predominated in this utterance. +"Ribot is dead. Our lives are saved, my experiment is ruined." + +Turning toward Nora and scrutinizing her attentively for the first +time, he remarked, "How white your face is. The strain has been a +dreadful one. It has driven all the color away from you." And then +letting his eyes wander over her person until they paused upon her +hands resting in the moonlight upon the top of the sash, "and how +green your hands are. What can it be? Paris green," he said after a +close examination. "It was that which killed Ribot." + +"I remember now. Father was sprinkling something on them. It is +cabbage worm time." + +"I hope you will allow me to call," said Klingenspiel, and Nora +graciously assenting, he continued: "I admire your beauty, I admire +your many admirable qualities of head and heart, but above all, your +decision, your great decision." + +"Oh, I don't think I showed much decision just because I threw the +cabbage out." + +"I referred to your taking my ear and learning, out of its due order +in the thesis I was expounding, what manner of beast Ribot was. Ribot +killed two of my best African geese. They are, however, still fit for +food. I am going to beg your acceptance of one." + +"We will have it for dinner to-morrow," said Nora, "and you must come +over." + +"I shall be pleased to do so," said Klingenspiel, and that was the +beginning of a series of visits to the home of Timothy Sullivan that +resulted in the marriage of Miss Nora and Wilhelm Klingenspiel. The +latter still raises African geese there in the vicinity of Stony +Island, but he has made no more experiments with guinea pigs, for his +wife will not hear to it. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"What an unpleasant surprise it must have been to Klingenspiel," +remarked the emir, when he had completed his narration, "to find all +his fine experimenting in the science of heredity merely resulting in +nearly accomplishing his own death." + +"His experience is not unique," said Mr. Middleton. "There is many an +economic, social, political, or industrial change which is inaugurated +with the highest hopes only to slay its author in the end." + +"We should indeed be careful what waves we set in motion, what forces +we liberate," said the emir thoughtfully. "And I have been, too. I +have in my possession a constant reminder to be cautious in all my +enterprises and undertakings--a monitor forever bidding me think of +the consequences of an action, weigh its possible results. It has been +in my family for generations. I believe that our house has learned the +lesson. I would be glad to give it to some one who, perchance, has +not. If it so happens that you are in no need of such a warning, you +can perhaps present it to some one else who is." And having said a few +words to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, the blackamore brought to +him a small case and, from the midst of wrappings of dark green silk, +he produced a flask of burnished copper that shone with the utmost +brilliance. Handing this to Mr. Middleton and that gentleman viewing +it in silence for some time and exhibiting no other emotion than a +mild curiosity, largely due to its great weight, a ponderosity +altogether out of proportion to its size, the emir exclaimed in a loud +voice: + +"Do you know what you are holding?" and without waiting for an answer +from his startled guest, continued: "Observe the inscription upon the +side and the stamp of a signet set upon the seal that closes the +mouth." + +"I perceive a number of Arabic characters," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Arabic!" said the emir. "Hebrew. You are looking upon the seal of the +great Solomon himself and that is the prison house of one of the two +evil genii whom the great king confined in bottles and cast into the +sea. In that collection of chronicles which the Feringhis style the +Arabian Nights, you have read of the fisherman who found a bottle in +his net and opened it to see a quantity of dark vapor issue forth, +which, assuming great proportions, presently took form, coalesced into +the gigantic figure of a terrible genii, who announced to his +terrified liberator that during his captivity, he had sworn to kill +whomsoever let him out of the bottle. This well-known occurrence and +stock example of the necessity of being careful of the possible +results of one's acts, is so familiar to you as to make its further +relation an impertinence on my part. Suffice it to say, in cause you +have forgotten a minor detail, there was another genii and another +bottle in the sea beside the one found by the fisherman. + +"The second bottle in some unknown way came into the possession of +Prince Houssein, brother of my great-grandfather's great-grandfather, +Nourreddin. This latter prince having need of a certain amount of +coin--which was very scarce in Arabia at that time and of great +purchasing power, trade being carried on by barter--sent to his +brother a request for a loan. The country was in a very disturbed +state at that time and Houssein dispatched two messengers at an +interval of a day apart. The first of these was robbed and killed. He +bore a letter, concealed in his saddle, and the money. The second +messenger came in entire safety with that bottle, for no one could be +desirous of trifling with anything so fraught with danger as that +prison house of the terrible genii. What was the purport of this +strange gift has never been guessed. The letter borne by the murdered +man doubtless explained. Houssein himself perished of plague before +Nourreddin could learn from him." + +Mr. Middleton sat holding the enchanted bottle very gingerly. If he +had not feared to give offence to the emir, he would have declined the +gift, for while not for one moment did he dream that a demoniac +presence fretted inside that shining copper, he did believe that it +contained some explosive, or what would be more probable, some +mephitic substance that gave off a deadly vapor. So, fully resolved to +throw the bottle into the river and being very heedful of Achmed's +injunction not to let the leaden plug bearing Solomon's seal be +removed from the mouth, he placed the gift in his pocket and having +thanked the emir for his entertainment and instruction and the gift, +he departed. + +When Mr. Middleton had stepped into the street, he altered his +resolution to immediately dispose of the bottle. He was tired and did +not care to walk to the river. Nor did he wish to ride there and +alight, spending two car fares to get home. So postponing until the +morrow the casting into the Chicago River of the unhappy genii who had +once reposed on the bottom of the Persian Gulf, he boarded a car for +home. + +The bulk and weight of the bottle sagging down his pocket and +threatening to injure the set of his coat, Mr. Middleton held his +acquisition on his knee. A tall, serious-looking individual was his +seat mate, who after regarding the bottle intently for some time, +addressed him in a low, but earnest voice. + +"Pray pardon my curiosity, but I am going to ask you what that queer +receptacle is." + +"It is the prison-house of a wicked genii, who was shut therein by +King Solomon, the magic influence of whose seal on the plug in the +mouth retains him within, for what resistance could the physical force +of those copper walls oppose to the strength of that mighty demon?" + +Of these words did Mr. Middleton deliver himself, though he knew they +must sound passing strange, but on the spur of the moment he could not +think what else to say and he hoped that the belief he would create +that his mind was affected would relieve him of further questioning, +for if put to it and pinned down, what could he say, what plausible +account could he give of the bottle? To his surprise, the stranger +gave no evidence of other than a complete acceptance of his statement +and continuing to make inquiries in a most respectful and courteous +way, Mr. Middleton felt he could not be less mannerly himself, and so +he related all he knew of the bottle, avowing his belief that it +contained some dangerous chemical, such as that devilish corroding +stuff known as Greek fire, or some deadly gas. + +"Your theory sounds reasonable," said the stranger; "and yet who +knows? That inscription certainly is Hebrew. At least, it is neither +English nor German. When one has studied psychic phenomena as long as +I have, he comes to a point where he is very chary of saying what is +not credible. Do I not, time and again, materialize the dead, calling +from the winds, the waters, and the earth the dispersed particles of +the corporeal frame to reclothe for a little time the spiritual +essence? Could not the great Solomon do as much? Is it not possible +that that great moral ensamplar, guide, saint, and prophet has +imprisoned in that bottle some one of the Pre-Adamite demons? I am not +afraid to open the bottle, on the contrary, would be glad to do so. I +am a clairvoyant and trance-medium, with materialization as a +specialty. My name is Jefferson P. Smitz. Here is my card. I have a +seance to-morrow night. Bring your bottle then, and I will open it. +The price of admission is," he said, with a glance of tentative +scrutiny, "one dollar," at which information Mr. Middleton, looking +unresponsive, uninterested, not to say sulky, he continued: "but as +you will bring such an important and interesting contribution to the +subject of inquiry for the evening, we will make the admission for you +only fifty cents, fifty cents." + +On the following evening, Mr. Middleton and his bottle sat among a +circle of some thirty persons who were gathered in the gloomy, +lofty-ceiled parlor of Mr. Smitz. Before forming the circle, Mr. Smitz +had addressed the company in a few well-chosen words, saying that a +like purpose had brought all there that night, that as votaries of +science and devotees of truth and persons of culture and refinement, +mutual acquaintance could not but be pleasant as well as helpful, +enabling those who sat together while witnessing the astounding and +edifying phenomena they were soon to behold, to discuss these +phenomena with reciprocal benefit--in view of all this, he hoped +everybody would consider themselves introduced to everybody else. + +Mr. Middleton, quickly inspecting the assemblage, whom he doubtless +with great injustice denominated a crowd of sober dubs and solemn +stiffs, so maneuvered that when all had drawn their chairs into a +circle, a man deaf in the right ear sat at his left, while at his +right sat a tall young lady, who though slightly pale was of an +interesting appearance, notwithstanding. The somewhat tragic cast of +her large and classic features was intensified by a pair of great +mournful eyes and a wistful mouth, the whole framed in luxuriant +masses of black hair, and altogether she was a girl whom one would +give a second and third glance anywhere. + +It developing in their very first exchange of remarks that she had +never been present at a seance and that she could not look forward to +what they were about to witness without great trepidation, Mr. +Middleton offered to afford her every moral support and such physical +protection as one mortal can assure another when facing the unknown +powers of another world. At the extinguishment of the gas, he took her +left hand, and finding it give a faint tremor, he took the other and +was pleased to note that, so far as her hands gave evidence, thereupon +her fears were quite allayed. + +A breeze, chill and dank as the breath of a tomb, blew upon the +company, and from the deep darkness into which they all stared with +straining, unseeing eyes, came the solemn sound of Mr. Smitz, speaking +hurriedly in somber tones in some sonorous unknown tongue, and low +rustlings and whirrs and soft footfalls and faint rattlings that grew +stronger, louder, each moment, swelling up into the stamp of a mailed +heel and the clangor of arms as Mr. Smitz scratched a match and the +light of a gas jet glanced upon helmet, corslet, shield, and greaves +of a brazen-armored Greek warrior, standing in the middle of the +circle, alive, in full corporeal presence! + +"Leonidas, hero of Thermopylæ!" shouted Mr. Smitz, and then continued +at a conversational pitch, "if any of you wish to speak to him in his +own language, you have full permission to do so." + +Those present lacking either the desire to accost the dread presence, +or a command of the ancient Greek, after a bit Mr. Smitz turned off +the gas and the noises that had heralded the visitant's appearance +began in reverse order, and at their cease, the gas being turned on +again, there was the circle quite bare of any evidence that a Greek +warrior in full panoply had but now stood there. + +At these prodigies, the young lady trembled, but you could have +applied all sorts of surgical devices for measuring nerve reaction to +Mr. Middleton from the crown of his head to where his parallel feet +held between them the copper bottle, and not have detected a tremor. + +Mr. Smitz was reaching up to extinguish the gas once more, when a big, +athletic blonde man, whose appearance and garb proclaimed him an +Englishman, interrupted him. + +"I am going to request you to materialize the spirit with whom I wish +to converse, the next time. I have to catch a train at eleven and +there are a number of things I would like to do before that. +Yesterday, you promised me that you would materialize him first +thing." + +"Yesterday," said Mr. Smitz with a slight hauteur, "I could not look +forward and see that I was to have such a large and cultivated +gathering. You cannot, sir, ask to have your own mere personal +business, for business it is with you, take precedence of the +scientific quests of all these other ladies and gentlemen. I have +planned to materialize men of many nations, with whom all may converse +if they please; Confucius, the great Chinese; Cæsar, the great Roman; +Mohammed, the great Turk; Powhattan, the great Indian, and others. +Your business must wait." + +"My friends," said the Englishman, appealing to the assemblage, "I +throw myself upon your good nature. My grandfather was the owner of a +small estate in Ireland. In a rebellion, the Irish burned every +building on the place and it has since been deserted. He had buried a +sum of money before he fled during the rebellion and we have a chart +telling where it was buried. But the chart referred to buildings and +trees that were subsequently utterly destroyed. We have no marks to +guide us. I am sadly in need of money. My grandfather's ghost could +tell me where the treasure is. I shall suffer financial detriment if I +do not catch the train at eleven and must attend to several matters +before that. You have heard my case. May I not ask you all to grant me +the indulgence of having my affair disposed of now?" + +Mr. Middleton and several others were about to endorse the justice of +the Englishman's request, when Mr. Smitz hastily forestalled them by +saying that all should be heard from and turning to four personages +who sat together at a point where the line of chairs of the circle +passed before a large and mysterious cabinet set in the corner of the +wall, and asking their opinion, they all four in one voice began to +object to any alteration of the program of the evening, adverting +somewhat to the Boer War, the oppressions in Ireland, and to the +Revolution and the War of 1812. When they had done, there was no one +who cared to say a word for the Englishman or an Englishman, and Mr. +Smitz announced that Confucius would be the next materialization and +that all might address him in his native tongue. Of this permission, a +small red-head gentleman, whose demeanor advertised him to be in a +somewhat advanced state of intoxication, availed himself and remarked +slowly: + +"Hello, John. Washee, washee? Sabe how washee? Wlanter be Melican +man?" + +To this the great sage vouchsafed no reply save a contemptuous stare, +and the red-headed gentleman observed that doubtless the Chinese +language had changed a good deal in two thousand years. All languages +did. + +From out the darkness under whose cover the Chinaman was modestly +divesting himself of his body, came the voice of Mr. Smitz, rich, +unctuous, saying: + +"The next visitant will be from that great race we all admire so much, +the noble race which has done so much to build up this country, which +in every field of American endeavor has been a guiding star to us all. +It gives me great pleasure to tell you that our next visitant from the +world beyond is that great soldier, statesman, and patriot, King Brian +Boru." + +"Who the devil wants to see that or any other paddy?" exclaimed the +voice of the Englishman, choleric, savage. "Let me out of this +blarsted, cheating hole. Who wants to see one of that race of +quarrelsome, thieving, wretched rapscallions?" + +Whack! Smash! Bang! Crash! The assemblage was thrown into a pitiable +state of terror by a most extraordinary combat and tumult taking place +somewhere in the circle. The remonstrances of Mr. Smitz and the oaths +of the Englishman rose against the general din of the expostulations +of the men and cries of the women. Match after match was struck by the +men, only to be blown out by some mysterious agency, after giving +momentary glimpses of the Englishman astride of a man on the floor, +pummelling him lustily, while Mr. Smitz pulled at the Englishman's +shoulders. At length the noise died away, the sound of some one +remonstrating, "let me at him oncet, let me at the spalpeen, he got me +foul," coming back from some remote region of the atmosphere, as under +the compelling force of the will of the great Smitz, the bodily +envelope of the Irish hero was dissipated and his soul went back to +the beyond. + +Then did a match reach the gas without being blown out. Beneath the +chandelier stood Mr. Smitz and the four personages who had sat before +the cabinet and had views on the Boer War. + +"What an awful, sacrilegious thing you have done," exclaimed Mr. +Smitz. "You have struck the dead." + +"He hit me first." + +"Your remarks about the Irish angered him. He could not restrain +himself." + +"Well, he couldn't whip me. Next time you materialize him, he'll show +a black eye. Let me out of here, you cheat, you imposter, you and your +pals, or I'll fix you as I did Brian Boru." + +Though the company did not take the Englishman's view, they were all +anxious to go. They were quite unstrung by what had occurred, this +combat between the living and the dead. They looked with horrified awe +at the spot where it had taken place. There stood the living +combatant, still full of the fire of battle. Him whom he had fought +was gone on the winds to the voiceless abodes of the departed, a +breath, a shadow, a sudden chill on the cheek and nothing more. For a +brief space resuming his old fleshly habitude, with it had come the +cholers and hatreds of the flesh and once more he avenged his +country's wrongs. + +"Say," said the Englishman, with a malign look on his face, as he +paused in the door, "if you've got that mick patched up any down in +the kitchen, I'll give him another chance, if he wishes. Tell him to +pick a smaller man next time." + +To this, Mr. Smitz made no reply, but flashed a look that would have +frozen any one less insolent and truculent than the Englishman. + +All this time Mr. Middleton had been very agreeably employed in a +corner of the room, for the young lady in an access of terror had +thrown herself into his arms and there she had remained during the +whole affrighting performance. To forerun any possible apprehension +that he was going to extricate himself and leave her, he held her with +considerable firmness, whispering encouragement into her ear the +while. Preparing to accompany her home, he had almost left the room +before he bethought him of the copper bottle, which he had abandoned +when springing up to get the young lady out of the circle and away +from danger. He soon found it lying against the wall, whither it had +rolled or been kicked during the melee. + +The young lady continuing to be in a somewhat prostrated state after +her late experience, on the way home Mr. Middleton supported her by +his right arm about her waist, while she found further stay by resting +her left arm across his shoulders, she being a tall young lady. Their +remaining hands met in a clasp of cheer and encouragement on his part, +of trusting dependence on hers. Arriving at her door in this fashion, +it was but natural for Mr. Middleton--who was a very natural young +man--to clasp her in a good-night embrace, but upon essaying to put +the touch of completion to these joys which a kiss would give, she +drew away her head, saying: + +"Why, how dare you, sir! I never met you before. Why, I haven't even +been formally introduced to you." + +Mr. Middleton humbly pleading for the salute, she continued to express +her surprise that he should prefer such a request upon no acquaintance +at all, that he should even faintly expect her to grant it, and so on, +all the while leaning languishing upon his breast with all her weight. +Whereupon Mr. Middleton lost patience and with incisive sarcasm he +began: + +"One would think that you who refuse this kiss were not the girl who +stands here within my arms, my lips saying this into her ears, her +cheek almost touching mine. Doubtless it is some one else. Pray tell +me, what great difference is there between kissing a stranger and +hugging him." + +At these brutal, downright words, leaving the poor young thing nothing +to say, no little pretence even to herself that she had guarded the +proprieties, had comported herself circumspectly, leaving her with not +even a little rag of a claim that she had conducted herself with +seemly decorum, she sprang from him and began to cry. Whatever the +cause, Mr. Middleton could not look upon feminine unhappiness with +composure and here where he was himself responsible, he was indeed +smitten with keen remorse and hastening to comfort her, gathered her +into his arms and there he was abasing and condemning himself and +telling her what a dear, nice girl she was--and kissing away her +tears. + +"Let me give you a piece of advice," he said, fifteen minutes later, +as he was about to release her and depart. "It is not best ever to let +a man hug you. Never," he said, pausing to imprint a lingering kiss +upon the girl's yielding lips, "never let a man kiss you again until +that moment when you shall become his affianced wife." + +Mr. Middleton departed in that serene state of mind which the +consciousness of virtue bestows, for he had given the young woman +valuable advice that would doubtless be of advantage to her in the +future and he reflected upon this in much satisfaction as he fared +away with the eyes of the young woman watching him from where she +looked out of the parlor window. + +Reaching into his right coat pocket to transfer the copper bottle to +the opposite pocket, in order that his coat might not be pulled out of +shape, as he grasped the neck, one of his fingers went right into the +mouth! The seal of Solomon was gone! A less resolute and quick-witted +person might have been alarmed, but reasoning that the seal must have +been knocked off during the fight at Mr. Smitz's and nothing had +happened since, he boldly examined the bottle. He could see a white +substance as he looked into it, and by the aid of a stick he fished +out a wad of wool tightly stuffed in the neck. A metallic chinking +followed the removal of the wadding and set his heart thumping +rapidly. He looked up and down the street. No one in sight. He tilted +the bottle up to the light of a street lamp and saw a yellow gleam. He +shook it and into his hands flowed a stream of gold sequins! He could +not sufficiently admire the ruse of Prince Houssein. Money on the +first messenger there had been none. + +In a center more given to numismatics, or had he been willing to wait +and sell the coins gradually, Mr. Middleton might have secured more +than he did for the gold pieces, all coined at Bagdad in the early +caliphates and very valuable. But he disposed of them in a lump to a +French gentleman on La Salle Street for fourteen hundred and +twenty-five dollars. + +Calling on the young lady of Englewood within the next few days, he +made no reference to these events, though she asked him several times +during the evening what he had been doing lately. He did, however, +hint at having profited by a certain fortunate "deal," as he called +it, but not a word did he say concerning the mournful girl or anything +remotely connected with her. + +Hesitating to hurt the emir's feelings by exposing the obtuseness of +his ancestor Noureddin and the foolish superstition of his descendants +ever since, Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when once +more he sat in the presence of the urbane and accomplished prince of +the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored +sherbet, the emir began the narration of The Pleasant Adventures of +Dr. McDill. + + + + +_The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill._ + + +It was twelve o'clock on a blustery winter night and Dr. James McDill +was where a married man of forty ought to be at such an hour in that +season, sleeping soundly by the side of his beloved wife. But his wife +was not sleeping. At the stroke of the hour, she had suddenly awoke +from refreshing slumber and become aware of sounds as of persons +moving softly about the room, and after a little, seeing against the +windows faintly illuminated by a distant street light, two dark +figures, she perceived her ears had not deceived her. Shaking her +husband unavailingly for a considerable time, in her terror she +finally cast discretion to the winds and shouted: + +"Burglars, Jim, burglars!" + +Hardly had these words ceased, when the electric lights were turned on +and Dr. McDill sat up in bed to find himself staring into the muzzles +of three revolvers, held by two masked men, who stood looking over the +footboard. Bidding them move at their peril, the man with two +revolvers remained to guard the doctor and his wife, while the other +began to ransack the room. As he did so, he carried on an easy, if not +eloquent, dissertation upon the rights of man and the iniquitous +conditions which made it necessary for the poor and oppressed to +obtain by force, if they obtained at all, any share in the privileges +and riches of the wealthy. As he discoursed, at times carried away by +his theme, he gave over his search and paused to enforce his points +with earnest gestures. This caused the other robber some disquietude +and he cursed his compatriot and the doctor and his wife with a use of +epithets that will not bear repeating and which showed him to be none +other than a low ruffian. At last all the treasure in the room being +taken and the doctor being forced to accompany them and disclose the +repository of other valuables, the robbers took their departure. + +Some weeks after this, two persons suspected of being responsible for +certain robberies were taken into custody and the doctor called into +court to identify them if possible. + +"I noticed," said he, "that the shorter of the two masked men was +prone to gesticulation and that he had a fashion of holding his arms +close to his body, as if tied at the elbows, and with hands fully +open, fingers apart, thumbs extended, and palms upward, waving his +forearms----" + +At this juncture, the smile on the face of the defendant's counsel, +occasioned by thus putting his client upon his guard, was dispelled by +an angry exclamation from the person in question, and denying with +some loquacity and even more vociferation that he ever made such a +gesture, at the close of his statement, behold, he made the gesture! + +By the doctor's testimony was a chain of incriminating evidence +established that led to a sentence of ten years' imprisonment being +imposed upon the robbers. When he had heard the sentence, he of the +gestures turned fiercely toward the doctor and cried: + +"You'll be killed for this, like other dogs before you for the same +cause. If you're not killed before I am discharged or escape, I'll +kill you. But I am only one of many, a tried band who avenge;" and +hereupon he smote the rail in front of him, "Knock, knock--knock; +knock, knock--knock." And from several parts of the silent room came +answers, faint, but distinct, two quick taps, a pause, and a third, +then all repeated. "Tap, tap--tap; tap, tap--tap." + +The evidence of confederates, the quick response to the appeal of +their comrade, the taps that came from everywhere and nowhere, +manifestation of the desperate men surrounding him, might well have +daunted the soul of any man. Three sentences had been pronounced that +day, a term of years upon Jerry McGuire and Barry O'Toole, but death +upon James McDill. You may depend upon it that the doctor was none the +more reassured when on the morrow he learned that McGuire and O'Toole +had escaped. With their anger and resentment yet hot within them, +these men would doubtless at once set about to encompass his +destruction, and he knew that when once one of these societies had +decreed the death of a person who balked or incensed them, every +endeavor was used to put the decree into effect. But, after a little, +he took courage from the very fact that was most threatening. If these +men, these desperate and despicable scoundrels, could escape from the +barriers of stone and steel and the guardians that surrounded them, +why might not he fight for his life and win in the struggle which both +reason and instinct told him was inevitable? + +That those he loved most might not be involved in the perils he felt +certain he was about to encounter and that his resolution and his +movements might not be hampered by their presence and their fears, he +found means to persuade his wife to take the children for a visit to +their grandfather, and setting his affairs in order and providing +himself with two revolvers, a bowie knife, and an Italian stiletto, he +even began to look forward to the approaching struggle with something +of that pleasure which man experiences in the anticipation of any +contest; and there is indeed a certain keen zest in playing the game +where one's stake is one's life. + +On the evening of the day of his wife's departure, he was called to +assist in an operation at a hospital with which he had once been +connected, and unexpected complications arising, it was not until two +in the morning that he started away. His man and carriage, that he had +ordered to await him, had gone. The night was mild and it must have +been weariness or restiveness, that had caused the departure. Although +some distance lay between the hospital and his home, he started afoot. +Not a soul was to been seen in the street, which, thanks to the light +of the moon late rising in its last quarter, lay visible to his sight. +As he passed an alleyway, shortly after leaving the hospital, his +attention was attracted by the sound of snores, and he discovered a +man whose features were well shrouded in the upturned collar of an +ulster, seated with his back against a house wall, asleep. The man +stirred uneasily as he bent over him, but thinking it best not to +disturb him, the doctor passed on. As he did so, he became conscious +that the snores had ceased, and looking back, he beheld the man walk +drowsily across the sidewalk and finally stand gazing in the direction +of the hospital. The doctor began to hasten his steps, but ever and +anon glancing back, and presently he saw the man was now looking after +him, that he leaned to the right and leaned to the left, and stooped +down in his scrutinizing. Suddenly the man reached forward with a +cane, smote the sidewalk, "rap, rap--rap; rap, rap--rap," and taken up +on either side of the way, louder and louder as it came up the street +toward the now fleeing doctor, from sequestered nooks between +buildings, ran the fateful, hurrying volley of "rap, rap--rap; rap, +rap--rap." The last raps came right behind the doctor's heels at the +mouth of an alley he was clearing at a bound, and glancing back, he +saw a succession of men hurrying silently after him at all speed. He +was encumbered with a long ulster, while his pursuers, if they had +worn overcoats, had now cast them aside. The man just behind, +apparently did not wish to close in alone, preferring to allow others +to catch up and assist him, and at the second block the doctor could +hear two pairs of heels behind him and a third pair just beyond. The +pursuers were gaining. Though he would have to pause to do it, he must +throw off his overcoat. At the third corner, he tore at the long +garment, it swung under his feet, and he pitched headlong----. He +heard a cry of savage joy and a rush of feet, a sudden great soft +whirr, and he arose to see an automobile halted between him and his +pursuers. A gentleman of a rotund person, clothed in correct evening +dress and whose speech was of a thickness to indicate recent +indulgence in intoxicating liquors, alighted from the carriage. + +"I do not believe thish ish the place. No, thish ish not the place I +told you to come to, driver. I'm glad it isn't anyway, as I'm afraid +we're too drunk to sing a serenade. Here's another man as's drunk, +too. So drunk he fell down on hisself. Couldn't leave him here. Never +go back on a man as is drunk. Get in brother. Take you home with us. +Get in." + +It is needless to say that Dr. McDill responded to his invitation with +the greatest alacrity and gratitude. For the first time did the rotund +gentleman become aware that there were other persons present. Some +four of the doctor's pursuers had now gathered at the curb of the +crossing and the rest were coming thither, though with no great haste, +for they were gentry to whom caution was second nature and it was by +no means certain what the arrival of the automobile might portend. The +four at the curb, deterred from retreat by that sense of shame which +is not entirely absent even in the lowest and most depraved, were now +insistently giving their rap to incite their comrades to hasten. The +rotund gentleman walked around to that side of the carriage and gazed +at them with some degree of interest and curiosity. "Rap, rap--rap; +rap, rap--rap," went the sticks of the four and down the street came +answering raps and soon the four were joined by two more. + +"Don't let him go now, we've almost got him. We'd had him, if Red +hadn't gone to sleep and let him get by. Come on, come on." + +The six rushed at the carriage, whereat the rotund gentleman, with an +agility not to be looked for in one of his contour and condition, +received the foremost with smash, smash--smash, in each eye and on the +nose, and the second likewise, when bidding the driver be off, he +leaped into the carriage with his comrades. A single bullet whistled +after them as they whirled away. + +"Rap, rap--rap. I rapped 'em," said the rotund gentleman. "I always +did hate a knocker." + +With your permission I will here interpolate the remark that the +further adventures of the eminent surgeon with the mysterious +confederacy that sought his life, bore evidence that these depraved +and ruffianly men were not without a certain rude artistic temperament +as well as a tinge of romance, and a dramatic sense that many who +write for the stage might well envy them. + +The elation of the doctor over his escape from the toils of the +thieves was not of long duration. His breakfast was interrupted by a +call to the telephone and over the wires came to his startled ears a +hollow "knock, knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." At his office door +down town softly came "tap, tap--tap; tap, tap--tap," and snatch the +door open as hastily as he might, he saw nothing, heard nothing, heard +nothing but the electric bells on the floors above and floors below +calling for the elevator: "buzz, buzz--buzz; buzz, buzz--buzz." He +walked along State Street at the busy hour of noon and all about him +in the throngs was the dull impact of canes upon the pavement, "thud, +thud--thud; thud, thud--thud." As he rode home in the street car at +nightfall, back of him in the train at street corner after corner he +heard passengers jingle the bell for stopping, "ding, ding--ding; +ding, ding--ding." + +Although Dr. McDill was a man of great native resolution and intrepid +in the face of known and seen dangers, the horrors of the invisible +forces of death everywhere surrounding him so wore at his soul that he +returned down town and spent the night at a hotel. On the morrow, he +severely condemned himself for this yielding to fear, for on the front +steps of his house lay the dead form of his great watch dog, Jacques. +There were evidences of a struggle in which the assailants had not +been unscathed. Bits of cloth lay about and examining the stains of +blood that plentifully blotched the walk, he discovered that some of +it was human blood. + +"Ah," he said, in deep self-reproach, "if I had stayed here as I +should, I would have been able to fight with poor Jacques and brought +low some of my enemies. How easily I could have fired from the upper +windows as Jacques made their presence known. It is evident that the +noise of the struggle was so great that the fiends were afraid to +continue the attack and ran away." + +Philosophers and poets have found a theme for dissertation in the fact +that the dog leaves his own kindred to dwell with man and fights them +in behalf of his master. It has ever seemed to me that this were but +half of the tale, for full many a man loves his dog better than the +rest of mankind, and so the devotion of the race of dogs finds return +and recompense. Outside his own family, there was no living thing in +the city of Chicago which had so dwelt in the affections of Dr. McDill +as the dog Jacques. Of the truth of this, he had had but dim +realization until now and he was like to burst with sorrow and with +hatred of the vile beings who had marked him and his for slaughter. +Lifting the stiff form of his humble comrade, for the first time did +he observe a poniard thrust in the poor beast's throat. The blade +impaled a piece of paper and upon it was written the word "Knock." + +"Knock!" cried the doctor: "but henceforth it shall be I that knock. +Hasten the time when we may meet, malignant knaves. Never again shall +I avoid you. Henceforth, I go about my business as before, for it is +thus that I may expect the sooner to encounter you." + +An urgent matter would require the doctor's presence in the +municipality of Evanston that night. He could not expect to return +before twelve o'clock in the morning and of this informing the cook, +who in the temporary reduction of the family carried on the household +without the aid of a second girl, he departed northward. It was past +the hour of one when he let himself in the front door of his +residence. A pleasant savor of various viands saluted his nostrils and +in the drawing-room he observed that the chairs and tables had all +been thrust against the wall as if to clear the floor for dancing. In +the dining-room, the evidence of recent festivity was complete, for +the table was covered with the remnants of a sumptuous repast. No +words were needed to tell him that Olga Blomgren, the cook, had taken +advantage of the foreknowledge of his absence to entertain a wide +circle of friends; but here indeed was a mystery. Why had she not set +everything in order and removed all traces of the entertainment? He +moved toward the kitchen in wonder and--his heart stood still. The +beams of the lamp held above his head were shot back by the gleam of +blue and white satin, his wife's favorite ball dress on the kitchen +floor. But it was not his wife's fair hair and snowy shoulders that, +rising out of the glistening blue and white, were striped with a +glistening red, but the snowy shoulders and fair hair of poor Olga +Blomgren. Thus had she paid for her hour of magnificence. Thus had +death cut her down because the maid's form was of the same statuesque +beauty as her mistress's. Tenderly the doctor stooped to lift up the +dead girl, stricken in her mistress's stead. There was a poniard in +her throat, and it impaled a piece of paper upon which was written +"Knock." + +"Knock, knock--" the next knock would be upon his own heart. + +Whatever design the doctor had held of not appealing to the police for +protection against his invisible foes, his affairs had now reached a +point where the intervention of the officers of the law could no +longer be avoided. Poor Jacques could be consigned to earth without +the intervention of priest or police, but the murder of Olga was a +matter for official investigation. With that crafty and subtle way the +astute sleuths of the Chicago constabulary have of informing the +public through the intermediary of the press of all measures projected +against evil-doers, of moves to be made, of arrests to be attempted, +all citizens were in possession of the fact that owing to the +startling plot just brought to light, all gatherings and coteries of +men, especially at late hours, were to be watched, investigated, and +made to give accounts of themselves. Dr. McDill fumed at the turn +affairs had taken. That the confederacy of thieves would abandon their +attempts upon his life, was not to be dreamed of. But they would +forego the pleasure of witnessing his death in the presence of all +assembled together. They would now delegate the attack to a single +individual, and in event of his death, he could hope to carry with him +but one of his enemies. + +Again was Dr. McDill called to the hospital for a night operation. +Leaving his driver without, he cautioned him. + +"August, I don't want you to be fooled the way you were before. If any +man comes out of the hospital and says I send word for you to drive +home without waiting for me, pay no attention to him. Take no orders +from anybody but me." + +"All right. They can't fool me vonce again already." + +But when a cab drove up and let out a tall gentleman in a silk hat, +who went into the hospital, and after a little the cab driver, a +friendly and talkative person of Irish extraction, offered August a +flask full of a beverage also of Irish extraction, August took a +drink. + +"He told me not to take no orders yet already from nobody but him. But +he didn't say nothin' about takin' a drink vonce." + +"Take a drink twice, then, Hans," said the person of Irish extraction, +"already, yet, and by and by, too." + +It was all of four hours later that Dr. McDill stepped out of the +hospital door. He paused under the light of the globe over the porch +and examining a large bag of water-proof silk, he thrust therein a +sponge upon which he poured the contents of a small phial, after +which, seeing that a noose of string that closed the mouth of the bag +was not entangled, he strode briskly toward his buggy. The side +curtains were on and consequently the interior was in a dark shadow. +Pausing a moment on the step, as if to arrange his overcoat, he made a +quick, dexterous movement toward the person in the carriage and, +throwing the bag over his head, pulled the noose. A terrific blow +struck the doctor in the breast, but the arm that struck it fell +powerless before it could be repeated and the striker lurched forward +on the dashboard in the utter limpness of complete insensibility. + +"It is not August," said the doctor, straightening up the hooded +figure and taking the reins. "How well was my precaution taken! I +believe that was the last knock that any member of that band of +diabolical assassins will ever strike." + +In the private laboratory of his own home, the doctor sat facing his +captive, whom, after binding hand and foot, he had restored to his +senses. The outlaw was the first to break the silence. + +"You've got me and you think you'll do me," said the outlaw, with a +succession of oaths and vile epithets it would be needless as well as +improper for me to repeat. "But if you harm me, my friends will more +than pay you up for it, just as they have everybody that crossed +them." + +"Your friends are of a mind to kill me, whatever befall. Sparing or +killing you, will in nowise affect their purpose. Whatever may come +to-morrow, to-night you must obey my commands." + +"I won't do a thing you tell me to. I don't have to, see? My friends +will look for you just as soon as I don't turn up, and it will go hard +with you." + +"Just as soon as you do not turn up with the news you have killed me. +We'll see whether you will do what I tell you to." + +"You dassen't kill me. You're afraid to kill me. My friends would fix +you and the law would get you, if they did not." + +"Your profession relies upon the forbearance and softheartedness of +the public. You know that those you rob hesitate to shoot. No such +hesitation hampers you. It is part of your stock in trade to keep the +public terrorized. You kill all who disobey your orders, for if people +began to resist you successfully you must needs go out of business. +Did all put aside their repugnance to shed blood and kill your kind as +they would wolves, we would have no more of you." + +"You dassen't kill me, you dassen't kill me," cried the robber. It was +the snarl of the wild beast, hopelessly held in the toils. + +"It is true that I hesitate to kill. I am not proud of this +hesitation, for the trend of the best medical and sociological thought +is now toward the execution of all degenerates and criminals, that +they may not contaminate the race with descendants. However, my office +is to save life and I cannot do otherwise. But I am a surgeon, and +every day I do things in the effort to save and prolong life that to a +layman are repulsive and awful, more revolting to him than the sight +of bloodless death itself. From the taking of human life I draw back. +But no repugnance, no horror, unsteadies my hand elsewhere. The end of +the crimes of your devilish confederacy has come. The law has not +restrained you, could not. Your own unparalleled wickedness has +delivered you into my hands. Many a man have you brought low, many a +family have you desolated. Widows and orphans cry out against you, and +not in vain. I shall so knock your gang that never again shall one of +you harm even the weakest. You shall all live, but it shall be your +prayer, if you black hearts can utter prayer, that you be dead." + +The outlaw's tongue moved thickly in a mouth that dried suddenly at +these solemn words of the doctor. "You can't do it, you can't do it, +you can't do it, you duffer----" and his voice rumbled on in a long +string of imprecations. + +The doctor seized him and carrying him to the cellar, lay him against +the coal bin. Then the captive heard him in a room above engaged upon +some sort of carpentry, and whether it was the captive's imagination, +or design of the doctor, or whether unconsciously the doctor's mind +had become possessed, the sounds of the hammer as it drove nails and +struck pieces of wood into place echoed in the cellar; "knock, +knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." Soon the stairs groaned under the +weight of the doctor carrying some great contrivance, and the outlaw +found himself lying stretched out upon some sort of operating chair, +his ankles held in a pair of stocks below, his outstretched arms held +by the wrists in a pair of stocks above. All was black in the cellar, +all but where a single blood red bar of light from the open door of +the furnace fell upon the doctor turning at the winch of the bed of +torture upon which lay the robber. + +Hardly ten turns did he make, for at the first little twinges of pain, +premonishing the agonies to come, the caitiff chattered in terror +promises to do all the doctor should order, and so was released. +Cringing and fawning, the outlaw heard what he was required to do. He +was to write a letter. In this, he was to tell of the method of his +capture. He was to say he was confined in a second-story room, feet +and hands shackled, and that he was also chained to a staple in the +floor. (That this all might be true, the doctor took him to a +second-story room and so fettered him.) He found himself able to use +his hands to write, and, happily, discovered writing material and +stamps upon a table. He would write a letter and throw it on the porch +below, where perhaps the postman would find it and send it to its +destination. He asked help. His friends must come that night. The +doctor would be on guard, and who could say he would not call in +others? The doors and windows were all well secured, all but a cellar +window on the east side. (Of this, the doctor informed him, that he, +the doctor, might not be guilty of instigating the writing of anything +that was false in any particular.) They must enter by this window. The +door leading above stairs from the cellar could be easily forced and +the noise thus occasioned could not be heard outside of the house. +They must come at two in the morning. Come before another dawn, as the +doctor was going to hold him one day before turning him over to the +police, hoping the gang would do something to involve themselves in +some way they would not if the police were after them with a hue and +cry. + +The outlaw wrote the letter as ordered, addressed it to Barry O'Toole, +and threw it out of the window. It fell beyond the porch, on the +ground. But this the doctor remedied by hiring a small boy for ten +cents to pick it up and put it in a mail box. After which, the doctor +betook himself to the nearest extensive hardware establishment. + +At two o'clock the next morning, the beams of a dark lantern shone +athwart the darkness of the cellar of Dr. McDill's residence. + +"It's all right, boys. I can smell escaping gas, but it's all right. +There's nobody in there. Now for the doctor. We'll kill him and all +who are in there with him, and burn the house," said a voice behind +the lantern, and one after another, eleven burly men dropped into the +cellar through the narrow east window high in the wall. As the feet of +the last man struck the ground, there was a sound as of a rope jerked +by some one in the orifice by which they had just entered, and they +heard two succeeding crashes within the cellar, followed by the slam +of an iron shutter over the window. There was a sound of a spasmodic +rush upon the cellar stairs and a beating upon the door, and then a +succession of softer sounds, as of men rolling down stairs, and then +silence. + +A match was struck upon the outside of the iron shutter. It revealed +the face of Dr. McDill, lighting a cigar. + +"The gas alone would have been almost sufficient. But when all those +bottles of ether and chloroform broke---- I had better open the window +so it will work off and I can get them out. I will write to my wife to +stay away two months longer. Olga is dead and Kate is gone. I'll +discharge August to-morrow, as he deserves. The field is clear." + +One morning, as Hans Olson, cook of the King Olaf Magnus, staunch +schooner engaged in the shingle trade between Chicago and the city of +Manistee, state of Michigan, on this particular morning lying in the +Chicago River--on this morning, as Mr. Olson was pouring overboard +some dishwater, preparing the breakfast for the yet sleeping crew, he +was horrified to see floating in the current that would eventually +carry them past the great city of St. Louis, twelve naked human arms. +Despite his horror and alarm at this grewsome array of severed +members, he noted that so far as he could observe, they were all left +arms, forearms, disjointed at the elbows. Subsequent examination but +added to the mystery. It was no trick of medical students intended to +set the town agog. They were not dissecting subjects, but limbs lately +taken from living bodies, and they were detached with the highest +skill known to the art of chirurgery. The town talked and it was a +day's wonder, but the solving of the mystery proving impossible, it +was passing into tradition when all were horrified anew to hear that +Johannes Klubertanz, a member of the great and honest German-American +element, while walking through Lincoln Park early one morning, +stumbled over some objects which, upon examination, proved to be +twelve human forearms, _right forearms_! + +Again were the wisest baffled in even guessing at this riddle, as they +were a third time, when one Prosper B. Shaw came with the story that +while rowing down in the drainage canal, he had come upon, floating +gently along, dissevered at the knee joint, _twelve human legs_! + +The whole community shuddered at the dark secret hidden in their +midst, but at last came the answer, yet not the answer. Of all strange +crews that mortal sight has gazed upon, that was the strangest, that +dozen men who out of nowhere appeared suddenly in the streets one +morning, armless all, all with wooden left legs. Their story you would +ask in vain, for just the little chord by which the tongue forms +intelligible words was gone. Their babblings came just to the border +of articulate speech, but not beyond. Torrents of half-formed words +they poured forth, but only half-formed, and to their mouthed jabber +the crowd listened without understanding. Did you thrust a pencil in +their jaws and bid them write their tale? Gone was some little muscle +that grips the jaws and the pencils lolled between teeth that could +not nip them. And as for their lips, oh, their mouths, their mouths! +Such an example of the chirurgery that has to do with the altering of +the human face had never before been witnessed, for nature had never +made those faces. One such countenance she might have made in cruel +sport, but never twelve, and twelve altogether, as like as peas in a +pod, twelve human jack o'lanterns, twelve travesties upon humanity's +front. Howsoever they might once have looked, not even their own +mothers could know them now. Around each eye the same wrinkles led +away. On each face was a bulbous nose. But the mouths, oh, the mouths! +Each was drawn back over the teeth in a perpetual grin, each was +upturned at corners which ended well nigh in the middle of the cheek. +Here were the victims of the horrors that had made the city shudder, +but dumb and unrecognizable. In all the thousands that looked at them, +not one could say he had ever seen them before. In all these +thousands, there was not one to whom they could speak. There were +their stiff faces, frozen into that terrible perpetual grin, so many +idols of wood, save for their eyes, and they were the only things that +lived in their dead faces. + +Such rudimentary human beings it would be hard to conceive, and so +after a while it occurred to some one that the same scientific methods +that discover and disclose to us the modes of life, the habits, and +even thoughts of primitive and rudimentary man, might be devoted to +establishing a means of communication with them and unveil the secret +the whole world was eager to know. Accordingly, they were taken to the +University of Chicago and turned over to the department of +anthropology. The learned expounders of this science were not long in +devising a simple means of communication. The twelve unfortunates were +seated upon a recitation bench and a doctor of philosophy wrote out an +alphabet upon the blackboard. + +"One rap of your foot will be A," said the doctor of philosophy. "Two +will be B. Two raps, a pause, and one will be C. We will soon learn +your story." + +At this moment, the reverberations of a prodigious blow upon the door +outside echoed through the room, "bang, bang--bang, bang, bang--bang." + +Unaccountably startled, as if at the hearing of some portent, the +professor stood rooted to the spot for a moment, and then was about to +leap to the door, when the simulacrums before him sprang to their feet +and with a tremendous stamping, smote their wooden legs upon the +floor, "stamp, stamp--stamp, stamp, stamp--stamp." + +The professor stared at the twelve mutes. There were their immobile +faces, as wooden as their wooden legs, wearing their perpetual grin, +but the westering sun shone on their eyes and there he saw an abject, +grovelling fear, dreadful to behold, the master passion of twelve +souls, slaves to some mysterious will which had just made itself +manifest out of the unseen. By what means the will had gained this +ascendancy, the terrible disfigurements of their remnants of bodies +told only too well, and he who ran could read the utter prostration +before the power which in their lives had been the greatest and most +terrible in the universe. Again, far off in a distant corridor of the +building, slowly rumbled to them: "knock, knock--knock; knock, +knock--knock," and the twelve unfortunates, like so many automatons, +gave token of their obedience. They had been warned to keep the +secret. + +And so was foiled the attempts of the learned anthropologists to hold +converse with these rudimentary beings. The alphabet of such elaborate +devisings went for naught. Never did the twelve persons in the state +of primitive culture get further than the letter C: "knock, +knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"I am at a loss to understand," said Mr. Middleton, "why you have +entitled the narration you have just related, 'The Pleasant Adventures +of Dr. McDill.' For to my mind, they seemed anything but pleasant +adventures." + +"How so?" asked the emir. "Is it not pleasant to thwart the +machinations and defeat the evil intentions of the villains such as +composed the confederacy that sought the doctor's life? Does there not +reside in mankind a sense of justice which rejoices at seeing meted +out to wrong-doers the deserts of their crimes?" + +To which Mr. Middleton replying with a nod of thoughtful assent, after +a proper period of rumination upon the words of the emir, that +accomplished ruler continued: + +"Despite the boasted protection of the law, how often is a man +compelled to rely for his protection upon his own prowess, skill or +address. There are many occasions when right under the nose of the +police, one saves himself by the resort to physical strength, weapons, +or the use of a cajoling tongue. Theoretically, Dr. McDill was amply +protected by the mantle of the law. In reality, it was man to man as +much as if he had met his foes in the Arabian desert, with none but +himself and them and the vultures. Do you go armed?" + +"No," replied Mr. Middleton, with a flippant smile; "but I can go +pretty fast, and that has heretofore done as well as going armed." + +"Young man," said the emir, sternly, "a bullet can outstrip your +fleetest footsteps. There may never be but one occasion when you will +need a weapon, but on that occasion the possession of the means of +protection may spell the difference between life and life." + +Hardly had he uttered them, before Mr. Middleton regretted his forward +and pert words, for never before had he answered the emir lightly, +such was his respect for him as a man of goodly parts and as one set +in authority, and such was his gratitude toward him as a benefactor. +Stammering forth what was at once an apology and an acknowledgement of +the wisdom of what the emir had said, Mr. Middleton began to make +preparations to go. But Prince Achmed bade him wait, and saying a few +words to Mesrour in the Arabic language, the blackamore brought to him +a pair of pistols of a formidable aspect. In sooth, one could hardly +tell whether they ought to be called pistols, or culverins. In the +shape of the stocks alone could anyone detect that they were pistols. +The bore of each was more than an inch in diameter, and the octagonal +barrels of thick steel, heavily inlaid with silver, were a foot and a +half long. The handles, which were in proportion to the barrels and so +long that four hands could grasp them, were so completely covered with +an inlay of pearl that no wood was visible. Taking one of them, the +emir rammed home a great load of powder, upon which he placed a +handful of balls as large as marbles. Having served the second +likewise, he handed the pair to Mr. Middleton. + +"Take them. Protected by them, you need have little fear. But woe +betide the man who stands in front of them, for so wide is the +distribution of their charge, that he must be a most indifferent +marksman who could not do execution with them." + +Thanking the emir for the gift and the entertainment and instruction +of his discourse, Mr. Middleton departed. Impressed though he had been +by Prince Achmed's counsel and by the lesson to be derived from the +recital of the experiences of Dr. McDill, Mr. Middleton did not carry +the pistols as he went about his daily vocation. It was impossible to +so bestow them about his garments that they did not cause large and +unsightly protuberances and to carry them openly was not to be thought +of. Their weight, too, was so great that it was burdensome to carry +them in any manner. Coming into his room unexpectedly in the middle of +the forenoon of the Thursday following the acquisition of the weapons, +he surprised Hilda Svenson, maid of all work, in the act of examining +one of them, which she had extracted from the place where they lay +concealed in the lower bureau drawer beneath a pile of underclothing. +With a start of guilty surprise, Hilda let the pistol fall to the +floor. Fortunately it did not go off, but nonetheless was he convinced +that he ought to dispose of the two weapons, for any day Hilda might +shoot herself with one, while on the weekly sheet changing day, Mrs. +Leschinger, the landlady, might shoot herself with the other. There +was no place in the room where he could conceal them from the +painstaking investigations of Hilda and Mrs. Leschinger, and the +expedient of extracting the charges not occurring to him, he felt that +it was clearly his duty to remove the lives of the two women from +jeopardy by disposing of the pistols. He was in truth pained at the +necessity of parting with the gifts which the emir had made with such +solicitude for his welfare and as some assuagement to this regret he +sought to dispose of them as profitably as possible. With this end in +view, he made an appointment for a private audience after hours with +Mr. Sidney Kuppenheimer, who conducted a large loan bank on Madison +Street and was reputed a connoisseur and admirer of all kinds of +curios. + +On the evening for which he had made the appointment, he set forth, +intending to make an early and short call upon his friend Chauncy +Stackelberg and wife, before repairing to Mr. Kuppenheimer's place of +business. But such was the engaging quality of the conversation of the +newly married couple, abounding both in humor and good sense, and so +interested was he in hearing of the haps and mishaps of married life, +a state he hoped to enter as soon as fortune and the young lady of +Englewood should be propitious, that he was unaware of the flight of +time until in the midst of a pause in the conversation, he heard the +cathedral clock Mrs. Stackelberg's uncle had given her as a wedding +present, solemnly tolling the hour of eleven. The hour Mr. +Kuppenheimer had named was one hour agone. To have kept the +appointment, he should have started two hours before. + +Another half hour had flown before Mr. Middleton, having paused to +partake of some chow-chow recently made by Mrs. Stackelberg and highly +recommended by her liege, finally left the house, carrying a pistol in +either hand. The night was somewhat cloudy, but although there was +neither moon nor stars, it was much lighter than on some nights when +all the minor luminaries are ablaze, or the moon itself is aloft, +shining in its first or last quarter, a phenomenon remarked upon by an +able Italian scientist in the middle of the last century and by him +attributed to some luminous quality that inheres in the clouds +themselves. Mr. Middleton was walking along engrossed in thoughts of +the scene of domestic bliss he had lately quitted and in dreams of the +even more delightful home he hoped to some day enjoy with the young +lady of Englewood, when he suddenly became cognizant of four +individuals a short distance away, comporting themselves in an unusual +and peculiar manner. Cautiously approaching them as quietly as +possible, he perceived that it was two robbers despoiling two citizens +of their valuables, one pair standing in the middle of the street, one +on the sidewalk, the citizens with their hands elevated above their +heads in a strained and uncomfortable attitude, while each +robber--with back to him--was pointing a revolver with one hand and +turning pockets inside out with the other. + +With a resolution and celerity that astonished him, as he afterwards +dwelt upon it in retrospect, Mr. Middleton rushed silently upon the +nearest robber, him in the street, and dealt him a terrible blow upon +the head with the barrel of a pistol. Without a sound, the robber sank +to the earth, whereupon the citizen, whether he had lost his head +through fear, or thought Mr. Middleton a new and more dangerous +outlaw, fled away like the wind. Snatching the bag of valuables in the +unconscious thief's hands, Mr. Middleton made toward the other robber, +who, to his astonishment, hissed without looking around: + +"What did you let your man get away for, you fool? Try and make +yourself useful somehow. Hold this swag and cover the man, so I can +have both hands and get through quick." + +Taking the valuables the robber handed him, Mr. Middleton with +calmness and deliberation placed them in his pockets, after which he +placed a muzzle of a pistol in the back of the robber's neck and +sharply commanded: + +"Hands up!" + +Up went the robber's hands as if he were a jumping-jack jerked by a +string, whereupon his late victim, doubtless animated by the same +emotions as those of the other citizens, fled away like the wind, but +not in silence, for at every jump he bellowed, "Thieves, murder, +help!" + +A window slammed up in the house before which they were standing and +the glare of an electric bicycle lamp played full upon Mr. Middleton +and his prisoner. + +"I've got him," said Mr. Middleton, proudly. + +"Got him! Got him!" gasped an astonished voice. "Well, of all +effrontery! Got him, you miserable thief? The police are coming and +they'll get you, and I can identify you, if they don't succeed in +nabbing you red-handed." + +Shocked and almost paralyzed, Mr. Middleton turned to expostulate with +the misled householder, when the robber, seizing the opportunity, fled +away like the wind, bellowing at every jump, "Thieves, murder, help!" +and as if aroused by the sound of his compatriot's voice, the thief +who had been lying unconscious in the street all this while, arose and +hastened away, somewhat unsteadily, it is true, yet at a considerable +degree of speed. + +It did not require any extended reflective processes for Mr. Middleton +to tell himself that if he waited for the police, he would be in a +very bad plight, for he had the stolen property upon his person, the +thieves had gone, and even if the victims were able to say he was not +one of the two original thieves--which their disturbed state of mind +made most uncertain--they would be likely to declare him a thief +notwithstanding, a charge which the stolen property on his person +would bear out. The police could now be heard down the street and the +householder was making the welkin ring with vociferous shouts. With a +sudden access of rage at this individual whose well-intended efforts +had thwarted justice and might yet fasten crime upon innocence, Mr. +Middleton pointed a pistol at the upper pane of the window where shone +the bicycle lamp. There was a roar that shook the air, followed by a +crash of glass and the clatter of a dozen bullets upon the brick wall +of the house, and a shriek of terror from the householder and the +bicycle lamp instantly vanished. With a heart strangely at peace in +the midst of the dangers that encompassed him, Mr. Middleton sped up +the street, dashed through an alleyway, back for a block on the next +street in the direction he had just come, and thenceforth leisurely +and with an appearance of virtue he did not need to feign, made his +way home without molestation. + +Upon examining the booty that had so strangely come into his +possession, Mr. Middleton was at a loss to think which were the +greater villains, those who had robbed, or those who had been robbed. +One wallet contained five hundred and forty dollars in greenbacks and +some memoranda accompanying it showed that it was a corruption fund to +be used in bribing voters at an approaching election. The other wallet +contained sixty dollars and a detailed plan for bribery, fraud, and +intimidation which was to be carried out in one of the doubtful wards. +There were also some silver coins, and two gold watches bearing no +names or marks that could identify their owners, but the detailed plan +contained the name of the politician who had drawn it up and who was +to be benefited by its successful accomplishment. This was a clue by +following which Mr. Middleton might have found the parties who had +been robbed and return their property, but he was deterred from doing +so by several considerations. The knowledge he had of the proposed +fraud was exceedingly dangerous to the interests of one of the +political parties and to the personal interests of one of the bosses +of that party. It would be clearly to their advantage to have Mr. +Middleton jailed and so put where there would be no danger that he +would divulge the information in his possession. Besides this, the +money was to be used for corrupt purposes, would go into the hands of +evil men who would spend it evilly. Deprived of it, a thoroughly bad +man was less likely to be elected. For these moral and prudential +reasons, Mr. Middleton saw that it was plainly his duty to the public +and to himself to retain the money. The victims, bearing in mind that +the recovery of the money by the police would also mean the discovery +of the incriminating documents and that any persecution of the robbers +might incite them to sell the documents to the opposite party, would +be very chary about doing or saying anything. But there was the +householder, who surely would tell his tale and who had an idea of Mr. +Middleton's personal appearance. Accordingly, that excellent young man +disposed of the gold watches to one Isaac Fiscovitz on lower State +Street, and with the results of the exchange purchased an entirely new +suit, new hat, and new shoes. The incriminating documents, he placed +under the carpet in his room against a time when he might see an +opportunity to safely dispose of them to the pecuniary advantage of +himself and to the discomfiture of the contemptible creature whose +handiwork they were. + +He said nothing of these transactions when on the appointed evening he +once more sat in the presence of the urbane prince of the tribe of +Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, +Achmed began the narration of The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson. + + + + +_The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson._ + + +Miss Clarissa Dawson was a young lady who had charge of the cutlery +counter in one of the great emporiums of State Street. She was +reckoned of a pretty wit and not more cutting were the Sheffield +razors that were piled before her than the remarks she sometimes made +to those who, incited thereto by her reputation for readiness of +retort, sought to engage her in a contest of repartee. It was seldom +that she issued from these encounters other than triumphant, leaving +her presumptuous opponents defeated and chagrined. But in the month of +November of the last year, for once she owned to herself that she had +been overcome,--overcome, it is true, because her adversary was +plainly a person of stupidity, mailed by his doltishness against the +keenest sarcasm she could launch against him, yet nevertheless +overcome. To her choicest bit of irony, the individual replied, +"Somebody left you on the grindstone and forgot to take you off," to +which the most adroit in quips and quirks could find no fitting +replication, unless it were to indulge in facial contortion or +invective, and Miss Clarissa was too much of a lady to do either. +Forced into silence, she had no resource but to seek to transfix him +with a protracted and contemptuous stare, which, though failing to +disconcert the object, put her in possession of the facts that he had +mild blue eyes, that the remnants of his hair were red, that he was +slightly above middle height and below middle age, and that there was +little about his face and still less his figure to distinguish him +from a multitude of men of the average type. Indeed, one could not +even conjecture his nationality, for his type was one to be seen in +all branches of the Indo-European race. If from a package in his upper +left-hand coat pocket, which, broken, disclosed some wieners, you +concluded he was of the German nation, a short dudeen in an upper vest +pocket would seem to indicate that he was an Irishman. His coat was of +black cheviot, new, and of the current cut. His vest was of corduroy, +of the kind in vogue in the past decade, while his pantaloons, black, +with a faint green line in them, were a compromise, being of a +non-commital cut that would never be badly out of style in any modern +period. + +Sustaining Miss Clarissa's stare with great composure, he purchased +six German razors at thirty-five cents each, six English at fifty, +twelve American at the same price, and a stray French razor at +sixty-two. + +"Don't you want some razorine?" asked Miss Clarissa. "It makes +razors--and other things--sharper." + +"Why don't you use it, then, instead of lobsterine?" replied the +stranger, picking up his package and the change. Miss Clarissa +deigning to give no reply but an angry frown, the stranger expressed +his gratitude for the amusement he intimated she had afforded him and +he further said he hoped he would see her at the Charity Ball and he +made bold to ask her to save the second two-step for him, and +thereafter departed, having declined Miss Clarissa's offer to have his +purchases sent to his address, an offer dictated not by a spirit of +accommodation and kindliness, but by a desire to learn in what part of +the city he had his residence. + +On the morrow again came a man to purchase razors, of which there was +a large number on Miss Clarissa's counter, traveling men's samples for +sale at ridiculous prices. The man had purchased two dozen razors +before Miss Clarissa, noting this similarity to the transactions of +the odious person and thereby led to take a good look at him, observed +with astonishment that this new man had on exactly the same suit that +had been worn by the purchaser of the day before. She recognized the +fabric, the color, everything down to a discoloration on the left coat +lapel. Here the resemblance ended. The second individual was a young +man. He had a heavy shock of abundant hair. He was not more than +twenty-eight years old and so far from being commonplace, he was of a +distinguished appearance. But as the eyes of Miss Clarissa continued +to dwell upon him in some admiration, she told herself that the +resemblance did not end with the clothes, after all. His eyes were of +the same blue, his hair of the same auburn as those of the man of +yesterday. Indeed, the man of yesterday might have been this man with +twenty years added on him, with the light of hope and ambition dimmed +by contact with the world, and his youthful alertness and dash +succeeded by the resigned vacuity of one who has seen none of his +early dreams realized. Again did Miss Clarissa ask if he would have +his purchases sent to his address, but this time it was not entirely +curiosity and the perfunctory performance of a duty, for she would +gladly have been of service to one of such a pleasing presence. +Communing with himself for a moment, the young man said: + +"On the whole, you may. But they must be delivered to me in person, +into my own hands. I would take them, but I have a number of other +things to take. Remember, they are to be delivered to me in person," +and he handed her a card which announced that his name was Asbury +Fuller and on which was written in lead pencil the address of a house +in a quarter of the city which, once the most fashionable of all, had +suffered from the encroachments of trade and where a few mansions yet +occupied by the aristocracy were surrounded by the deserted homes of +families which had fled to the newer haunts of fashion, leaving their +former abodes to be occupied by boarding mistresses, dentists, +doctors, clairvoyants, and a whole host of folk whose names would +never be in the papers until their burial permits were issued. + +Miss Clarissa did a very peculiar thing. It was already four o'clock +of a Saturday afternoon. Instead of immediately giving the package +into the hands of the delivery department, she retained it and, at +closing time, going to the room where ready made uniforms for +messenger boys were kept, she purloined one. Now it must be known that +the principal reason for doing a thing so unusual, not to say +indiscreet, was her desire to obey the young man's injunction to hand +the razors into his own hands and no others. She had become possessed +of the idea that some disaster would befall if the razors came into +the possession of any one else. Moreover, the stranger had humbled her +in the contest of repartee, which, as a true woman, had made her +entertain an admiration for him, and this and his strange disguises +and his unaccountable purchases had surrounded him with a mist of +romantic mystery she fain would penetrate. Some little time before, it +had been Miss Clarissa's misfortune, through sickness, to lose much of +her hair. It had now begun to grow again and resume its former +luxuriant abundance, but by removing several switches--of her own +hair--and the bolster commonly called a rat, and sleeking her hair +down hard with oil, she appeared as a boy might who was badly in need +of a haircut. After a light supper, she set out alone for the +residence of Asbury Fuller and at the end of her journey found herself +at the gateway of a somber edifice, which was apparently the only one +in the block that was inhabited. On either side and across the way +were vacant houses, lonesome and forbidding. Indeed, the residence of +Asbury Fuller was itself scarcely less lonesome and forbidding. The +grass of the plot before it was long and unkempt and heavily covered +with mats of autumn leaves. The bricks of the front walk were sunken +and uneven and the steps leading to the high piazza were deeply +warped, as by pools of water that had lain and dried on their unswept +surface through many seasons. The blinds hung awry and the paint on +the great front doors was scaling, and altogether it was a faded +magnificence, this of Asbury Fuller. She pulled the handle of the +front-door bell and in response to its jangling announcement came a +maid. + +"Asbury Fuller?" said the maid, omitting the "Mr." Miss Clarissa had +affixed. "Go to the side door around to the right." + +Wondering if this were a lodging house and Asbury Fuller had a private +entrance, or if it being his own house he had left word that callers +should be sent to the side door to prevent the delivery of the razors +being seen by others, Clarissa followed the walk through an avenue of +dead syringa bushes and came to the side door. The same maid who had +met her before, ushered her in and presently she found herself in a +small apartment, almost a closet, standing at the back of Asbury +Fuller. But though small, she remarked that the apartment was one of +some magnificence, for on all sides was a quantity of burnished +copper, binding the edges of a row of shelves and covering the whole +top of a broad counter-like projection running along one side of the +wall. Before this, Asbury Fuller was standing, assorting a number of +cut-glass goblets of various sizes and putting them upon silver +salvers, bottles of various colored wines being placed upon each +salver with the goblets. He turned at her entrance and the look of sad +and gloomy abstraction sitting upon his countenance instantly changed +to one of relief and joy. + +"At last, at last," he exclaimed, in a deep tone which even more than +his countenance betrayed his relief and joy. "It is almost too late +and I thought the young woman had not attended to sending them, that +she had failed me." + +"She would not fail you, sir," said Clarissa, earnestly, allowing +herself in the protection her assumed character gave her the pleasure +of giving utterance to her feeling of regard for the young man. "She +would not fail, sir, she could not fail you. Oh, you wrong her, if you +think she could ever break her word to you." + +Asbury Fuller bent an inscrutable look upon Clarissa and then bidding +her remain until his return, hastily left the room. But though he was +gone, Clarissa sat gloating upon the mental picture of his manly +beauty. He seemed taller than before, for the stoop he had worn in the +afternoon had now departed and he stood erect and muscular in the suit +of full evening dress that set off his lithe, soldierly form to such +advantage. His garb was of an elegance such as Clarissa had never +before beheld, and it was plain that the aristocracy affected certain +adornments in the privacy of their homes which they did not caparison +themselves with in public. Clarissa had seen dress suits in +restaurants and in theaters, but never before had she seen a +bottle-green dress coat with gold buttons and a velvet collar and a +vest with broad longitudinal stripes of white and brown. In a brief +space, Asbury Fuller returned, and glancing at his watch, he said: + +"There is some time before the dinner party begins and I would like to +talk with you. I am impressed by your apparent honesty and +particularly by the air of devotion to duty that characterizes you. +The latter I have more often remarked in women than in the more +selfish sex to which we belong. We need a boy here. Wages, twenty +dollars a month and keep." + +"Oh, sir, I should be pleased to come." + +"Your duties will commence at once. Owing to the fact that this old +house has been empty for some time and the work of rehabilitating and +refurnishing it is far from completed, you cannot at present have a +room to yourself. You will sleep with John Klussmann, the hostler----" + +"Oh, sir, I cannot do that," exclaimed Clarissa, starting up in alarm. + +"John is a good boy and kicks very little in his sleep. But doubtless +you object to the smell of horses." + +"Oh, sir, let me do what is needed this evening and go home and I will +come back and work to-morrow and go home to-morrow night, and if by +that time you find I can have a room by myself, perhaps I will come +permanently." + +"I don't smell of horses myself," said Asbury Fuller, musingly, to +which Clarissa making no response other than turning away her head to +hide her blushes, he continued. "But two days will be enough. Indeed, +to-night is the crucial point. I will not beat about the bush longer. +I wish to attach you to my interests. I wish you to serve me to-night +in the crisis of my career." + +"Oh, sir," said Clarissa, in the protection that her assumed character +gave her, allowing herself the privilege of speaking her real +sentiments, "I am attached to your interests. Let me serve you. +Command, and I will use my utmost endeavor to obey." + +Asbury Fuller looked at her in surprise. Carried away by her feelings +and in the state of mental exaltation which the romance and mystery of +the adventure had induced, she had made a half movement to kneel as +she thus almost swore her fealty in solemn tones. + +"Why are you attached to my interests?" asked Asbury Fuller, somewhat +dryly. + +Alas, Clarissa could not take advantage of the protection her assumed +character gave her to tell the real reason. Only as a woman could she +do that, only as a woman could she say and be believed, "Because I +love you." + +"Why, some people are naturally leaders, naturally draw others to +them----" + +"You cannot be a spy upon me, since no one knows who I am." + +"A spy!" cried Clarissa, in a voice whose sorrowful reproach gave +convincing evidence of her ingenuousness. + +"I wrong you, I wrong you," said Asbury Fuller. "I will trust you. I +will tell you what you are to do----" + +"Butler," said a maid, poking her head in at the door, "it is time to +come and give the finishing touches to the table. It is almost time +for the dinner to be served," and without ado, Asbury Fuller sprang +out of the room. + +A butler! A butler! Clarissa sat stunned. It was thus that her hero +had turned out. Could she tell the other girls in the store with any +degree of pride that she was keeping company with a butler? She had +received a good literary education in the high school at Muncie, +Indiana, and was a young woman of taste and refinement. Could she +marry a butler? To be near her hero, she herself had just now been +willing to undertake a menial position. But she had then imagined him +to be a person of importance. This stage in her cogitations led her to +the reflection that her feelings were unworthy of her. Had her regard +for Asbury Fuller been all due to the belief that he was a person of +importance, merely the worship of position, the selfish desire and +hope--however faint--of rising to affluence and social dignity through +him? Butler or no butler, Asbury Fuller was handsome, he was +distinguished, his manner of speech was superior to that of any person +she had ever known. Butler or no butler, she loved him. Just now she +had hoped that he, rich and well placed, would overlook her poverty, +and take her, friendless and obscure, for his bride. Could she give +less than she had hoped he would give? And then as butler, her chances +of winning him were so greatly increased. + +In a short time, he returned. He told her she was to wait on the table +and instructed her how to serve the courses. + +"The master will look surprised when he sees you instead of me. If he +asks who you are, say the new page. But he will be too much afraid of +exciting the wonder of his guests to ask you any questions. I feel +certain that he will accept your presence without question, being +desirous his guests shall not think him a tyro in the management of an +establishment like this. I feel certain that after dinner, his guests +will ask to see his collection of arms. Indeed, Miss Bording told him +in my hearing last Monday that she accepted his invitation here on +condition that she be allowed to see the famous collection. You are to +follow them into the drawing-room after dinner. The master will not +know whether that is usual or not. If they do start to go to look at +the arms, you are to say, 'The collection of your former weapons, sir, +has been placed in the first room to the left at the head of the +stairs. The paper-hangers and decorators have been busy.' Then you are +to lead the way into that room, which you will find dimly lighted. +After that, I will attend to everything myself." + +Although Clarissa could not but wonder at the strangeness of her +instructions and to be somewhat alarmed at the evidences of a plot in +which she was to be an agent, she agreed, for though her regard for +Asbury Fuller would have been sufficient to cause such acquiescence, +so great was her curiosity to have solved the mysteries which +surrounded that individual, that this alone would have gained her +consent. + +There were but two guests at the table of Mr. William Leadbury--Judge +Volney Bording, and his daughter, Eulalia Bording. Mr. Leadbury cast a +look of surprise and displeasure as he saw Clarissa serving the first +course, but he quickly concealed these emotions and proceeded to +plunge into an animated conversation with his guests. Indeed, it +assumed the character of a monologue in which he frequently adverted +to the weather, to be off on a tangent the next moment on a discussion +of finance, politics, sociology, on which subjects, however, he was +far from showing the positiveness and fixed opinion that he did while +descanting upon the weather. In all the subjects he touched upon, he +exhibited a certain skill in so framing his remarks that they would +not run counter to any prejudices or opposite opinions of his +auditors, but the feelings of the auditors having been elicited, +served as a preamble from which he could go on, warmly agreeing with +their views in the further and more complete unfolding of his own. He +was between twenty-seven and thirty years of age, of a somewhat spare +figure, and in the well-proportioned features of his face there was no +one that would attract attention beyond the others and easily remain +fixed in memory. He was not without an appearance of intelligence and +his chest was thrown out and the small of his back drawn in after the +manner of the Prussian ex-sergeants who give instruction in athletics +and the cultivation of a proper carriage to the elite of this city, +and withal he had the appearance of a person of substance and of +consequence in his community. In the midst of a pause where he was +occupied in putting his soup-spoon into his mouth, Miss Bording +remarked: + +"Please do not talk about commonplace American subjects, Mr. Leadbury. +Tell us of your foreign life. Tell us of Algeria. What sort of a +country is Algeria?" + +Turning his eyes toward the chandelier about him and with an elegance +of enunciation that did much to relieve the undeniably monotonous +evenness of his discourse, he began: + +"Algeria, the largest and most important of the French colonial +possessions, is a country of northern Africa, bounded on the north by +the Mediterranean, west by Morocco, south by the desert of Sahara, and +east by Tunis. It extends for about five hundred and fifty miles along +the coast and inland from three hundred to four hundred miles. +Physiographically it may be roughly divided into three zones," and so +on for a considerable length until by an accident which Clarissa could +attribute to nothing but inconceivable awkwardness, Judge Bording +dropped a glass of water, crash! Having ceased his disquisition at +this accident, so disconcerting to the judge, Miss Bording very +prettily and promptly thanked him for his information and saying that +she now had a clear understanding of the principal facts pertaining to +Algeria, abruptly changed the subject by asking him if he had heard +anything more concerning his second cousin, the barber. + +"There is nothing more to be heard. He is dead. You know he came here +about a week before I did. By the terms of my uncle's will, the five +years to be allowed to elapse before I was to be considered dead or +disappeared would have come to an end in a week after the time of my +arrival, and the property have passed to him, my uncle's cousin. By +the greatest luck in the world, I had become homesick and throwing up +my commission in the Foreign Legion, or Battalion D'Etranger, as we +have it in French, which is, as you may know, a corps of foreigners +serving under the French flag, mainly in Algeria, but occasionally in +other French possessions--throwing up my commission, I came home, +bringing with me my famous collection of weapons and the fauteuil of +Ab del Kader, the armchair, you understand, of the great Arab prince +who led the last revolt against France. It was not all homesickness, +either. Among the men of all nationalities serving in the Foreign +Legion, are many adventurous Americans, and a young Chicagoan, +remarking my name, apprised me of the fact that perhaps I was heir to +a fortune in Chicago. I came," continued Leadbury, looking down toward +his lap, where Clarissa saw he held a clipping from a newspaper, "and +took apartments at the Bennington Hotel, where, when seen by the +representatives of the 'Commercial Advertiser,' the following +interesting facts were brought out in the interview: 'William +Leadbury'--your humble servant--" he interjected, "'is the only son of +the late Charles Leadbury, only brother of the late millionaire iron +merchant, James Leadbury. Upon his death, James Leadbury left his +entire property'--but," said Leadbury, looking up, "I have previously +covered that point." + +"But tell us of your weapons," interposed Miss Bording. + +"Oh, yes, that seems to interest you," and deftly sliding the clipping +along in his fingers, he resumed: "'The collection of weapons is one +of the most interesting and remarkable collections in the United +States, for, though not large, its owner can say, with pardonable +pride, "every bit of steel in that collection has been used by me in +my trade."'" + +"Ah, how proud you must be," mused Miss Bording. "I read something +like that in the papers, myself. Just to think of it! Every bit of +steel in that collection has been used by you in your trade. What a +strange affectation you military men have in calling your profession a +trade! But, Captain Leadbury, tell me of your cousin, who disappeared +two days after your arrival, and why you shaved your moustache which +the papers described you as having." + +"A moustache is a bother," said Leadbury. "As to my cousin, why, +overcome by disappointment, he took to drink. He disappeared from his +lodgings on Rush Street two days after my arrival, at the close of a +twenty-four hours' debauch. It was found he had shipped as a sailor on +the Ingar Gulbrandson, lumber hooker for Marinette, and the +Gulbrandson was found sunk up by Death's Door, at the entrance to +Green Bay, her masts sticking above water. Her crew had utterly +disappeared. That was three months ago and neither hide nor hair of +any of them has been seen since. Poor Anderson Walkley is dead! Were +he alive, I would be glad to assist him. But he was a rover, never +long in one place--a few months here, a few months there--and now he +is at rest and I believe he is glad, I believe he is glad." + +The second course consisted of turkey, and Clarissa was astounded, as +she deposited the dishes of the course, to see Asbury Fuller swiftly +enter the door upon all-fours and with extreme celerity and cat-like +lightness, flit across the room and esconce himself behind a huge +armchair upholstered in velvet, and her astonishment increased and was +tinged with no small degree of terror, as she observed the chair, +noiselessly and almost imperceptibly, progress across the floor, +propelled by some hidden force, until it reached a station behind the +master of the house. Captain Leadbury began to carve the turkey and +Clarissa was astonished more than ever to hear, in the Captain's +voice, though she was sure his lips were shut, + +"Would you like a close shave, Miss Bording?" + +The sound of the carving-knife dropping upon the platter as Leadbury +started in some sudden spasm of pain, was drowned by the silvery +laughter of Miss Bording, saying, + +"Oh, don't make fun of the profession of your poor cousin, Captain," +and the look of disquiet upon Leadbury's face was quickly relieved and +he joined heartily and almost boisterously in the merriment. A moment +later, Clarissa was alarmed to find him bending upon herself a look in +which suspicion, distrust, fear, and hatred all were blended. + +Judge Volney Bording, ornament to the legal profession, was a hearty +eater, and it was not long before he sent his plate for a second +helping, and again Clarissa heard from the closed lips of Leadbury, in +a voice that seemed to float up from his very feet: + +"Next. Next. You're next, Miss Bording. What'll it be?" + +Leadbury half rose, looking toward Clarissa with a glance of most +violent anger, but whatever he would have said, was again interrupted +by the silvery laugh of Miss Bording, and again Leadbury joined +heartily, almost boisterously. But though he regained his +self-possession and his brow became serene, Clarissa saw in his eye +that which told he had a reckoning in store for her when once the +guests were out of the house, but that in the meantime he would +dissemble the various unpleasant emotions with which his mind was +filled. The rest of the dinner passed without untoward event. The huge +armchair by imperceptible degrees retired to its former position, and +as Clarissa set down the dessert, she saw Asbury Fuller, with a grace +unusual and not to be expected of one in such a posture, proceeding +quickly and silently out of the room upon all-fours. + +Mindful of her instructions, Clarissa accompanied the party when, +rising from the table, they withdrew to the drawing-room. It was +manifest that her presence caused Leadbury some uneasiness and he +looked now at her and now at his guests with an inquiring and +perturbed countenance, but in the calm faces of the judge and his +daughter he could detect nothing to indicate that they thought the +presence of the page at all strange, and little by little he recovered +his good spirits and related some interesting anecdotes of a bulldog +he once owned and of a colored person who stole a guitar from him. But +though Miss Bording gave a courteous and interested attention and +laughed at the anecdotes of the dog, she irked at the necessity of +silence, which the garrulity of her host placed her under and was +desirous of having the conversation become general and of a more +entertaining, elevated and instructive character. As the narration of +the episode of the colored person came to an end, she hastily +exclaimed: + +"Captain, you promised to show us your collection. It is nearing the +time when we must go home, for father has had to-day to listen to an +unparalleled amount of gabble and is very tired." + +"I will show the collection to you with great pleasure," said +Leadbury, and at this juncture, Clarissa, remembering her +instructions, said: + +"The collection of your former weapons, sir, has been placed in the +first room at the left at the head of the stairs. The paperhangers and +decorators have been busy." And then she proceeded to lead the way +into the hall and up the broad funereal staircase that led above. +Dimly burned the lights in the hall. Dimly burned a gas jet in the +room whose door stood open at the left. + +"Oh, yes," said Leadbury, gaily, responding to a remark of Miss +Bording, as they entered the room and saw the uncertain shape of a +large chair vaguely looming in the gloom; "I secured the fauteuil of +Ab del Kader after we had stormed the last stronghold of that +unfortunate prince. But interesting as this relic is, I put no value +upon it in comparison with the weapons, for every bit of steel in the +collection has been used by me in my trade." + +As he said these words, he turned on the gas at full head and the +light blazed forth to be shot back from an array of polished steel +festooned upon the wall, a glittering rosette, but not of sabres and +scimetars, yataghans, rapiers, broadswords, dirks and poniards, +pistols, fusils and rifles. No! _Razors and scissors!_ Before this +array sat a great red velvet barber's chair, and near them on the wall +was a board, bearing little brass hooks, upon each of which hung a +green ticket. + +In the unexpected revelation that had followed the flare of light, all +eyes were turned upon William Leadbury, swaying back and forward with +one hand clinging to the big chair, as if ready to swoon. A sickly, +cringing grin played over his face, suddenly come all a-yellow, and +his long tongue was flickering over his pale lips. But all at once his +muscles sprang tense and a malignant anger tightened his quivering +features and turning upon Clarissa, he hissed: + +"You did this. You exposed me, you exposed me," and he was about to +leap at the terrified girl, when a ringing voice cried, "Stop!" and +there was Asbury Fuller standing in the doorway with the broad red +cordon of a Commander of the Legion of Honor across his breast and a +glittering rapier in his hand. Clarissa could have fallen at his feet, +he looked so handsome and grand, and she could have scratched out the +eyes of Eulalia Bording, whose gaze betrayed an admiration equal to +her own. Asbury Fuller, yet not wearing quite his wonted appearance, +for the luxuriant locks of auburn had gone and his head was covered +with a short, though thick crop of chestnut. + +"You exposed yourself. Harmless would all this have been, powerless to +hurt you, if you had kept your self-possession and turned it off as a +joke--your own. But your abashed mien, your complete confusion, your +utter disconcertment, betrayed you, even if you had no longer left any +question by crying out that you have been exposed. Yes, exposed, +Anderson Walkley, by the sudden confronting of you with the implements +of your craft, the weapons you had _used_ in _your_ trade, and the +belief thus aroused in your guilty mind that your secret was known, +that your identity had been detected." + +"Asbury Fuller, what business is it of yours?" and Leadbury snatched +up a large pair of hair clippers and waved them with a menacing +gesture. + +"Everyman to the weapons of his trade," exclaimed Asbury Fuller, and +the hair clippers seemed suddenly enveloped in a mass of white flame, +as the rapier played about them. Cling, clang, across the room flew +the clippers, twisted from Leadbury's hand as neatly as you please. + +"Asbury Fuller?" cried the Commander of the Legion of Honor. "Asbury +Fuller?" and he deftly fastened beneath his nose an elegant false +moustache with waxed ends. + +With his hands before his eyes as if to forefend his view from some +dreadful apparition, the man in the corner sank upon his knees, +gibbering, "William Leadbury, come back from the dead!" + +"William Leadbury, alive and well, here to claim his own from you, +Anderson Walkley, outlaw and felon. Your plans were well-laid, but I +am not dead. You signed the papers of the Ingar Gulbrandson in your +proper person. Then as she was about to sail, I was brought aboard +ostensibly drunk, but really drugged, under the name of Anderson +Walkley. The Gulbrandson was found sunk. Her crew of four had utterly +disappeared. Dead, of course. The records gave their names. I had +become Anderson Walkley and was dead. You had seized my property and +my identity. I had been in Chicago but two days and no one had become +familiar enough with my appearance to make any question when you with +your clean-shaven face came down on the morning after my +kidnaping and told the people at the hotel that you were William +Leadbury and had shaved your moustache off over night. Whatever +difference they might have thought they saw, was easily explained by +the change occasioned by the removal of your moustache. Had your +minions been as intelligent as they were villainous, your scheme would +have succeeded. It was necessary to drug me anew on the voyage, as the +effects were wearing off. They did not drug me enough, and when they +scuttled the old hulk and rowed ashore to flee with their blood money, +the cold water rising in the sinking vessel awoke me, brought me to +full consciousness, and I easily got ashore on some planking. I saw at +once what the plot had been. I realized I had a desperate man to deal +with. I had no money and it would take me some time to get from +northern Wisconsin to Chicago. In the meantime, every one would have +come to believe you William Leadbury, and who would believe me, the +ragged tramp, suddenly appearing from nowhere and claiming to be the +heir? You would be coached by your lawyers, have time to concoct lies, +to manufacture conditions that would color your claim, and in court +you would be self-possessed and on your guard. Therefore I felt that I +must await the psychological moment when you could be taken off your +guard, when, surprised and in confusion, you would betray yourself. I +secured employment as your butler, the psychological moment came, and +you stand, self-convicted, thief and would-be murderer." + +"Send for the police at once," said Judge Bording. + +"No," said the late captain in the Foreign Legion. "He may reform. I +wish him to have another chance. That he may have the wherewithal to +earn a livelihood, I present him with the contents of this room, the +means of his undoing. In my uncle's library are many excellent +theological works of a controversial nature, and these, too, I present +to him, as a means of turning his thoughts toward better things. I +will not send for the police. I will send for a dray. Judge Bording, +by the recent concatenation of events, I am become the host. Let us +leave Walkley here to pack his effects, and return to the +drawing-room." + +Clarissa preceded the others as they slowly descended, with all her +ears open to hear whatsoever William Leadbury might say to Eulalia +Bording, and it was so that she noted a strange little creaking above +them, and looking up, saw poised upon the edge of the balustrade in +the upper hall, impending over the head of William Leadbury and ready +to fall, the great barber chair! With a swift leap, she pushed him to +the wall, causing him to just escape the chair as it fell with a +dreadful crash. But she herself was not so fortunate, for with a +wicked tunk the cushioned back of the chair struck her a glancing blow +that felled her senseless upon the stairs. + +Judge Bording flew after the dastardly barber, who swifter still, was +down the backstairs and out of the house into the darkness before the +Judge could lay hands upon him. + +The judge, his daughter, and William Leadbury, bent over the +unconscious form of the page. + +"He saved your life," said the judge. "The wood and iron part would +have hit your head." + +"His breath is knocked out of him," said Miss Bording. + +"He saved my life. I cannot understand his strange devotion. I cannot +understand it," said William Leadbury, the while opening the page's +vest, tearing away his collar, and straining at his shirt, that the +stunned lungs might have play and get to work again. The stiffly +starched shirt resisted his efforts and he reached in under it to +detach the fastenings of the studs that held the bosom together. Back +came his hand as if it had encountered a serpent beneath that shirt +front. + +"I begin to understand," he exclaimed, and bending an enigmatical look +upon the startled judge and his daughter, he picked the page up in his +arms with the utmost tenderness, and bore him away. + + * * * * * + +The pains in Clarissa's body had left her. Indeed, they had all but +gone when on Sunday morning, after a night which had been one of +formless dreams where she had not known whether she slept or waked or +where she was, a frowsy maid had called her from the bed where she lay +beneath a blanket, fully dressed, and told her it was time she was +getting back to the city. Not a sign of William Leadbury as she passed +out of the great silent house. Not a word from him, no inquiry for the +welfare of the little page who had come so nigh dying for him. +Clarissa was too proud to do or say anything to let the frowsy maid +guess that she wondered at this or cared aught for the ungrateful +captain. She steeled her heart against him, but though as the days +went by she succeeded in ceasing to care for one who was so unworthy +of her regard, she could not stifle the poignant regret that he was +thus unworthy. + +It had come Friday evening, almost closing time in the great store. +Slowly and heavily, Clarissa was setting her counter in order, +preparing to go to her lodgings and nurse her sick heart until slumber +should give respite from her pain, when there came a messenger from +the dress-making department asking her presence there. + +"We've just got an order for a ready-made ball-dress for a lady that +is unexpectedly going to the Charity Ball to-night," said Mrs. +McGuffin, head of the department. "The message says the lady is just +your height and build and color--she noticed you sometime, it +seems--and that we are to fit one of the dresses to you, making such +alterations as would make it fit you, choosing one suitable to your +complexion. When it's done, to save time, you are to go right to the +person who ordered it, without stopping to change your clothes. You +can do that there. It will make her late to the ball, at best. A +carriage and a person to conduct you will be waiting." + +It was a magnificent dress that was gradually built upon the figure of +Clarissa, and when at last it was completed and she stood before the +great pier glass flushed with the radiance of a pleasure she could not +but feel despite her late sorrow and the fact she was but the lay +figure for a more fortunate woman, one would have to search far to +find a more beautiful creature. + +"Whyee!" exclaimed Mrs. McGuffin. "Why, I had no idea you had such a +figure. Why, I must have you in my department to show off dresses on. +You will work at the cutlery counter not a day after to-morrow. But +there, I am keeping you. The ball must almost have begun. Here's a bag +with your things in it. I was going to say, 'your other things.'" And +throwing a splendid cloak about the lovely shoulders of Miss Clarissa, +Mrs. McGuffin turned her over to the messenger. + +There was already somebody in the carriage into which Clarissa +stepped, but as the curtain was drawn across the opposite window, she +was unable to even conjecture the sex of the individual who was to be +her conductor to her destination, and steeped in dreams which from +pleasant ones quickly passed to bitter, she speedily forgot all about +the person at her side. But presently she perceived their carriage had +come into the midst of a squadron of other carriages charging down +upon a brilliantly lighted entrance where men and women, brave in +evening dress, were moving in. + +"Why, we are going to the ball-room itself," and as she said this and +realized that here on the very threshold of the entrancing gayeties +she was to put off her fine plumage and see the other woman pass out +of the dressing-room into the delights beyond, while she crept away in +her own simple garb amid the questioning, amused, and contemptuous +stares of the haughty dames who had witnessed the exchange, she broke +into a piteous sob. + +"Why, of course to the ball-room, my darling," breathed a voice, which +low though it was, thrilled her more than the voice of an archangel, +and she felt herself strained to a man's heart and her bare shoulders, +which peeped from the cloak at the thrust of a pair of strong arms +beneath it, came in contact with the cool, smooth surface of the bosom +of a dress shirt. "Don't you remember that I engaged the second +two-step at the Charity Ball?" + +Clarissa, almost swooning with joy as she reclined palpitating upon +the manly breast of Captain William Leadbury, said never a word, for +the power of speech was not in her; the power of song, of uttering +peans of joy, perhaps, but not the power of speech. + +"Have I assumed too much," said Leadbury, gravely, relaxing somewhat +the tightness of his embrace. "Have I, arguing from the fact that you +both served me in the crisis of my career and saved my life, assumed +too much in believing you love me? If so, I beg your pardon for +arranging this surprise. I will release you. I----" + +"Oh, no," crooned Clarissa, nestling against him with all the +quivering protest of a child about to be taken from its mother. "You +read my actions rightly. Oh, how I have suffered this week. No word +from you. I could not understand it. Of course you could not know I +was a girl. But I thought you ought to be grateful, even to a boy." + +"But I did know you were a girl. When you fell, I began to open the +clothes about your chest. When I discovered your sex, I carried you +upstairs, placed you on a bed, threw a blanket over you and was about +to call Miss Bording to take charge of you----" + +"I'm glad you didn't. I don't like Miss Bording," said Clarissa. + +"I had left to call her, when that poltroon of an Anderson Walkley, +who had stolen back into the house after running from it, crept behind +me and struck me back of the ear with a shaving mug. I dropped +unconscious. In the resulting confusion, your very existence was as +forgotten as your whereabouts was unknown. You lay there as I had left +you until a maid found you in the morning and packed you off. It was +not until Wednesday that I was able to be out. I knew you came from +this store, and mousing about in there, I had no trouble in +identifying the nice young page with the beautiful young woman at the +cutlery counter. I could scarce wait two days, but as three had +already passed, I planned this surprise, remembering our banter when I +talked with you, disguised as a man of fifty, and now you are to go in +with me as my affianced bride. We'd better hurry, for the driver must +be wondering what we are thinking about." + +It was worthy of remark that even the ladies passed many compliments +upon the beauty and grace of Miss Clarissa Dawson, the young woman who +came to the ball with William Leadbury, former captain in the army of +the Republique Française, heir to the millions of the late James +Leadbury, and a number of persons esteemed judges of all that pertains +to the Terpsichorean art, declared that when she appeared upon the +floor for the first time, which was to dance the second two-step with +the gallant soldier, that such was the surpassing grace with which she +revolved over the floor that one might well say she seemed to be +dancing upon air. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"It is strange," said Mr. Middleton, "that after Clarissa had shown +her devotion to the extent of saving his life, Captain Leadbury could +have had, even for a moment, any misgivings that she loved him." + +"One cannot always be sure," said the emir. "A lover, being in a +highly nervous state because of his emotion, is always more or less +unstrung and unable to form a sound judgment or behave rationally. It +is because of this, that there are so many lovers' quarrels. But one +need not be at sea as regards the question of the affection of the +object of his tender passion. It is only necessary for you to wear a +philter upon the forehead and you can obtain the love of any woman," +and giving Mesrour some directions, the Nubian brought to his master a +minute bag of silk an inch square and of wafer thinness, which, both +from its appearance and the rare odor of musk which it exhaled, +resembled a sachet bag. + +"Wear this on your forehead," said the emir, presenting it to Mr. +Middleton. + +"But I would look ridiculous doing that, and excite comment," +expostulated the student of law. + +"Not at all," said the emir. "Put it inside the sweat-band of the +front of your hat and no one will perceive it and yet it will have all +its potency." + +Which, accordingly, Mr. Middleton did, and having thanked the emir for +his entertainment and instruction and the gift, he departed. + +The close of the relation of the adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson +left Mr. Middleton in a most amorous mood. His mind was full of soft +dreams of the delight William Leadbury must have experienced as he sat +in the hack with Clarissa's cheek against his, pouring forth his love +into her surprised ear. Before retiring for the night, he sat for some +time ciphering on the back of an envelope and kept putting down +"$1,000, $500, $560; $560, $500, $1,000; $500, $560, $1,000; $500, +$1,000, $560," but as the result of the addition was never over +$2,060, whatever way he put it, and as the stipend he received for his +labors in the law offices of Brockelsby and Brockman was but $26 a +month, he did not feel that he had any business to snatch the young +lady of Englewood to his breast and tell her of his love and his bank +account. + +He went to see her on the following night. The exquisite beauty of +this peerless young woman had never so impressed him as upon this +night and he was gnawed by the most intense longing to call her his +own. As he thought of the fortunate William Leadbury with his rich +uncle, he fairly hated him, and anon he cursed Brockelsby and Brockman +for refusing to raise his salary to a point commensurate with the +value of his services. Surely, the young lady of Englewood, even were +he to believe her gifted with only ordinary penetration, instead of +being the highly intelligent and perspicacious person he knew her to +be, could see how he felt and must know that it was only a question of +time and more money, and assuredly, one so gracious could not, in view +of the circumstances, begrudge him the advance of one kiss and one +embrace pending the formal offer of himself and his fortunes. So as he +stood in the doorway, bidding her good-night, right in the midst of an +irrelevant remark concerning the weather, he suddenly and without +warning, threw his arms about her and essayed to kiss her. But the +young lady of Englewood, with a cry commingled of surprise and horror, +sprang away. + +"How dare you sir? What made you do that? What sort of a girl do you +think I am?" she said in freezing tones. + +Mr. Middleton replied, stuttering weakly in a very husky voice, "I +think you are a nice girl." + +"A nice girl!" quoth the young lady of Englewood fiercely. "You know +no nice girl would allow it. Nice girl, indeed. You think so. You know +no nice girl would let you do such a thing," and she slammed the door +in his face. + +Away went Mr. Middleton with his heart full of bitterness because she +would not let him do such a thing, and in the hallway stood the young +lady of Englewood with her heart full of bitterness because he had +tried to do such a thing and because she could not let him do such a +thing. + +"Much good was the philter," said Mr. Middleton, remembering the +emir's gift, but almost at the same time, he recalled that the philter +had not been on his forehead when he attempted to embrace the young +lady of Englewood, for he had held his hat in his hand. + +The farther he departed from her, the more his resentment grew, and he +declared to himself that he would never have anything more to do with +her. She was ungrateful, cold, haughty, not at all the kind of girl he +could wish as his partner for life. He would proceed to let her see +that he could do without her. He would cast her image from the temple +of his heart and never go near her again. For a moment, he was +disturbed by the thought that perhaps she would decline to receive +him, even if he should call, but he quickly banished this unpleasant +reflection and fell to devising means by which he might make it +clearly apparent to the young lady of Englewood that he did not care. + +"I'll make her sorry. I'll show her I don't care, I'll show her I +don't care." + +There is a restaurant under the basement of one of the larger and more +celebrated saloons of the city, where a genial Gaul provides, for the +modest sum of fifty cents, a course dinner, with wine. The wine is but +ordinary California claret, but the viands are excellently cooked and +of themselves sufficient inducement for a wight to part with half a +dollar without consideration of the wine. There are those who, in the +melancholy state that follows a disappointment in love, go without +food and drink, while others turn to undue indulgence in drink. There +are yet others, though few observers seem to have noted them, who turn +toward greater indulgence in food, seeking surcease and forgetfulness +of the pains of the heart in benefactions to the stomach. + +It was very seldom that Mr. Middleton spent so much as fifty cents +upon a meal, but the conduct of the young lady of Englewood having +deprived him of any present object for laying up money, and, moreover, +the pains of the heart before alluded to demanding the vicarious +offices of the stomach, he went to the little French restaurant the +next evening. + +It was somewhat late when he arrived and there were in the room but +two diners beside himself. These were a man and a woman, who by many +little obvious evidences made manifest that they were not husband and +wife. They had arrived at the dessert and were eating ice cream with +genteel slowness, conversing the while with great decorum. Both were +tall and fair, singularly well matched as to height and the ample and +shapely proportions of their figures, and both were well, though +quietly and even simply, dressed. They were nearly of an age, too, he +being apparently forty, and she thirty-five. Their years sat lightly +upon them, however, and if upon her face there were traces left by the +longing for the lover who had not yet come into her life, that was all +which upon either countenance betrayed that their lives had been other +than care-free and happy. Assuredly, any one would have called them a +fine looking man and woman. All this Mr. Middleton observed in a +glance or two and then addressed himself to the comestibles that were +set before him and doubtless would not have given the couple thought +again, had not the waitress at the close of the meal fluttered at his +elbows, placing the vinegar cruet and Worcestershire sauce bottle +within easy reach, which services caused Mr. Middleton to look up in +some wonder, as he was engaged with custard pie and he had never heard +of any race of men, however savage, who used vinegar and +Worcestershire sauce upon custard pie. The waitress, who was a young +woman of a pleasant and intelligent countenance, met this glance with +another compounded of mystery and communicativeness, and bending low +while she removed the vinegar and Worcestershire sauce to a new +station, murmured: + +"That man over there has been here seven nights running, with a +different woman every time." + +Mr. Middleton sitting quiet in the surprise this information caused +him, she repeated what she had said, adding, "and once he was here at +noon besides, different woman every time." + +Eight women in seven days! Certainly this was quite a curious thing. + +"Do you know who he is? Have you ever seen any of the women before?" + +"Nop. Don't know anything about him except what I have seen of him +here. Never saw any of the women before--nor since." + +Nor since. Mr. Middleton found himself asking himself if anybody had +seen any of the women since. Had the girl in this chance remark +unwittingly hit upon a terrible mystery? Nor since, nor since. + +The man who had so suddenly assumed an interest in Mr. Middleton's +eyes, arose, and going to the window, looked out at the street above, +which was spattered with a sudden shower. He began to lament that he +had not brought an umbrella and said he would go after one, when the +storm so increased in violence that even a person provided with an +umbrella--as was Mr. Middleton--would not care to venture into it, for +such was the might of the wind now filling the air with its shrieks, +that the rain swept in great lateral sheets which made an umbrella a +futile protection. Yet notwithstanding this fury of the elements, the +man of many women went out. + +A half hour went by. An hour, and the storm did not abate and the man +did not return. The good-looking waitress invited Mr. Middleton to sit +at ease by a table in a rear part of the room, where lolling on the +opposite side, with charming unconsciousness she let her hand lie +stretched more than half across the board, a rampart of crumpled +newspapers concealing it from the view of the eighth guest of the +mulierose man. But whatever Mr. Middleton had done on previous +occasions and might do on occasions yet to come, he now wished to +avoid all appearances that might cause the eighth woman to regard him +as at all inclined to other than discreet and modest conduct, for he +was resolved to find out what he could about the man and eight women. +So affecting not to note the hand temptingly disposed, he discoursed +in a voice which was plainly audible in every corner of the room, not +so much because of its loudness--for he had but little raised it--as +because of a distinct and precise enunciation. This very precision, +which always implies a regard for the rules, proprieties and amenities +of life, seemed to stamp him as a man worthy of confidence, even had +not his sentiments been of the most high-minded character. He +described the great flood of 1882, which wrought such havoc in +Missouri, in which cataclysm his Uncle Henry Perkins had suffered +great loss. He extolled the commendable conduct of his uncle in +sacrificing valuable property that he might save a woman; letting a +flatboat loaded with twenty-five hogs whirl away in the raging flood, +in order to rescue a woman from Booneville, Missouri, the wife of a +county judge, who was floating in the waste of waters upon a small red +barn. The dullest could infer from the approval he gave this act of +his Uncle Henry, unwisely chivalrous as it might seem in view of the +fact that whoever rescued the judge's wife farther down stream, would +return her to the judge, while no one would return the hogs to Mr. +Perkins--the dullest could infer from his praise that he was himself a +chivalrous and tender young man whom any woman could trust. + +The hour was become an hour and a half and both the pretty waitress +and the eighth woman had grown very fidgetty. The waitress saw she was +to beguile the tedious period of emprisonment by the tempest with no +dalliance with Mr. Middleton. The eighth woman was worried by the +absence of her escort. Mr. Middleton stepped to her side, where she +stood staring out at the wind-swept street, and addressed her. + +"Madame, it would almost seem as if some accident had detained your +escort. May I not offer to call a cab and see you home? I have an +umbrella with me." + +The lady thanked him almost eagerly, saying that she would wait +fifteen minutes more and at the elapse of that time, her escort not +appearing, would gladly avail herself of his kind offer. + +Twenty minutes later, they were whirling away northward. Crossing the +Wells Street bridge, they turned eastward only a few blocks from the +river. The rain had suddenly ceased. The wind having relaxed nothing +of its fierceness, it occasionally parted the scudding clouds high +over head to let glimpses of the moon escape from their wrack, and Mr. +Middleton saw he was in a region whence the invasion of factories and +warehouses had driven the major portion of the inhabitants forth, +leaving their dwellings untenanted, white for rent signs staring out +of the empty casements like so many ghosts. The lady signaling the +driver to stop, Mr. Middleton assisted her to alight, and glanced +about him. Here the work of exile had been very thorough. Not yet had +the factories come into this immediate neighborhood, but the residents +had retreated before the smoke of their advancing lines, leaving a +wide unoccupied space behind the rear guard. Up and down the street, +in no house could he perceive a light. The moon shining forth clear +and resplendent, its face unobstructed by clouds for a moment, he saw +stretching away house after house with white signs that grimly told +their loneliness. Indeed, quite deserted did appear the very house to +whose door they splashed through the pools in the depressions of the +tall flight of stone steps. The lady threw open the door and stepped +briskly in, and her footfalls rang sharply upon a bare floor and +resounded in a hollow echo that told it was an empty house! + +An empty house! An empty house! What danger might lurk here and how +easy might losels lure victims to their door! Mr. Middleton paused on +the threshold, staring into the gloom, but whatever irresolute +thoughts he had entertained of retreat were dispelled by the sound of +a wail from the lady, and the sight of her face, white in the +moonlight, as she rushed out to him. + +"Oh, oh," she moaned, gibbering a gush of words which, despite their +incoherence of form, in their tone proclaimed fear, consternation, and +despair. + +Lighting a match, Mr. Middleton stepped into the house. Standing in +the little circle of dull yellow light, he saw beneath his feet +windrows of dust and layers of newspapers that had rested beneath a +carpet but lately removed, and beyond, dusk emptiness, and silence. He +advanced, looking for a chandelier, but though he found two, the +incandescent globes had been removed from them. Throwing a mass of the +papers from the floor into the grate and lighting them, a bright glare +brought out every corner of the room. There was nothing but the four +bare walls. + +"They have taken everything, everything!" cried the poor lady. + +"Who?" asked Mr. Middleton, after the manner of his profession. + +"Who? Would that I knew!--Thieves." + +Mr. Middleton then realized she had been the victim of a form of +robbery far too common, where the scoundrels come with drays and carry +off the whole household equipment, in the householder's absence. That +which had been done in comparatively well-populated quarters was easy +of accomplishment on this deserted street. + +Penetrated with compassion, he moved toward the unfortunate woman, who +with an abandonment he had not expected of one so stately and +reserved, threw herself upon his breast, weeping as though her heart +would break. + +"They have taken everything. How can I get along now! My piano is gone +and how can I give lessons without it! I will have to go back to +Peoria!" + +Soothingly Mr. Middleton patted the weeping woman on the back. With +infinite tenderness, he kissed her tear-bedewed cheeks and gently he +laid her head upon his shoulder, and then with both arms clasped about +her, he imparted to her statuesque figure a sort of rocking motion, +crooning with each oscillation, "There, there, there, there," until +the paroxysm of her grief abated and passed from weeping into +gradually subsiding sobs, and he began to tell her that he would be +only too happy to give his legal services to convict the villains when +caught--as they surely would be. The lady by degrees becoming more +cheerful and giving him a description of the stolen property, he +discussed ways and means of recovering it, and to prevent her from +relapsing into her former depressed condition, occasionally imprinted +a consolatory salute upon her cheek, from which he had previously +wiped the wet tracks of the tears that had now some time ceased +gushing, for there had been a salty taste to the first osculations, +which while not actually disagreeable, had not been to his liking. + +At length, the lady not only ceased even to sigh, but even to talk, +and yet remained leaning upon him, which was whether because she was +weary, exhausted by grief, or whether because her supporter was such a +good looking young man, is not evident. Doubtless it was true that at +first her misery and unhappiness made her need the sympathetic +caresses of any one within reach and that with the return of her +equilibrium she continued to make this an excuse for enjoying without +any reproach of impropriety a recreation which ordinarily the +conventions of society would compel her to eschew. As for the rising +light in the legal profession, he began to find the weight she leant +upon him oppressive, and his occupation, delightful at first, palling +and growing monotonous. The monotony he somewhat relieved by +frequently kissing her, now on one velvet cheek, now on the other, and +again her lips; slowly, one two, three, in waltz measure; and rapidly, +one, two three, four, in two-step measure, when all at once in the +midst of a sustained half note there came to him the reflection that +this was no time of night for him to be there in the dark in a +deserted house kissing a woman with whose social standing, whose very +name, he was unacquainted. He was about to ask a few leading +questions, when there was the sound of wheels in the street; a +carriage stopped before the door. + +Quickly extricating himself from the lady's arms, Mr. Middleton +stepped to the door, only to see the carriage drive away, the sound of +voices singing a solemn chant in a strange and unknown tongue floating +back to him. Wondering what all this could mean, he turned to find the +lady standing at his side, silently regarding him in a wrapt manner. + +"The hour is late," said she, in a hollow, mournful voice, "and I +ought to be seeking some shelter where I can lay my head, but where, +oh, where?" + +The lady made a tragic gesture as she asked this question, and there +in that lonely street with this lorn woman at this late hour of the +night in the eerie light of the cloud-obscured moon, with the wind, +now howling and now sobbing and moaning, Mr. Middleton felt very +solemn indeed. But he pulled himself together and suggested a +low-priced and respectable hotel not far away, and toward this they +were faring when they passed a house which, unlike most of the others +of the vicinity, bore signs of habitation, and unlike any of the +others, had a light showing in a window. In fact, there was a light in +every window of the two upper stories and in the windows of the first +floor and even in the basement. Pausing to wonder at this unusual +illumination, Mr. Middleton felt his arm suddenly clutched, and a +voice which he would never have believed came from the lady, if there +had been any one else present, grated into his ear, "It's him." + +Though startled by this enigmatical utterance, he followed when she +ascended two steps of the stoop for a better view in the uncurtained +window. There, with his face buried in his hands, seated on a roll of +carpeting with a tack hammer and saucer of tacks at his side, sat the +mulierose man! + +"This house was empty at four this afternoon," said the lady. +"Heavens, that's my piano in the corner! That's my center table! I +believe that's my carpet! That's my watercolor painting I painted +myself! _He's_ robbed me!" + +Her voice rose to a shriek, and at the sound a woman's head popped out +of the window above and the mulierose man came running to the door. He +was in his shirt sleeves but wore a hat. + +"You've robbed me, you've robbed me!" cried the lady. + +"I haven't," said the mulierose man with the utmost composure. "I can +explain it all satisfactorily. Come in. My Aunt Eliza is here and tea +is ready. Where were you when I went back to the restaurant? They said +you had gone. Where were you?" + +To Mr. Middleton's surprise, the lady immediately quieted at the words +of the mulierose man and instead of berating him, coughed nervously +and hung her head sheepishly. + +"Where were you?" repeated the man. + +"At my house." + +"All this time? With this young man?" There was a tinge of hardness +and jealousy in the man's voice and he looked unpleasantly at Mr. +Middleton. "What did you stay in that empty house all this time for? +What-were-you-doing-there?" + +Mr. Middleton was at his wit's end to supply a hypothesis to answer +why the mulierose man, from being a criminal and object of the lady's +just wrath, should suddenly have become an inquisitor, sitting in +judgment upon her conduct. + +"I--I--was afraid to start right away. It was dark in there and I was +afraid this young man might take liberties. Indeed, he did try to kiss +me." + +With a roar, the mulierose man launched himself at Mr. Middleton, who +dexterously stepping aside, had the satisfaction of seeing his +assailant slip and fall on the wet sidewalk. The lady thereat raised a +cry of great volume, which was taken up by the woman looking out of +the window above, and Mr. Middleton thinking he could derive neither +pleasure nor profit from remaining longer in that locality, fled +incontinently. + +Upon his arrival home and preparing for bed, he found that he was +wearing a stiff hat made in Kansas City, bearing on the sweat-band a +silver plate inscribed "George W. Dobson." The mulierose man and he +had exchanged hats at the restaurant. The mulierose man now had the +love philter. + +It was not until four days had elapsed that Mr. Middleton found an +opportunity to visit the street where these inexplicable events took +place. The house where he had comforted the eighth woman was still +empty. At the house whence the mulierose man had issued, a very +unprepossessing old woman, with a teapot in her right hand, was +opening the front door to admit a large yellow cat whom she addressed +as "Mahoney," an appellation which, while not infrequently the family +name of persons of Irish birth or descent, is of very seldom +application to members of the domestic cat tribe, Felis cattus. + +Wondering greatly at the chain of unusual events, he went about his +business. You may depend upon it that he gave much thought to an +attempted solution of all these mysteries. But whether or no it was +after all only a series of events commonplace in themselves, but +seeming mysterious because of their fortuitous concatenation, or he +really had trodden upon the hem of a web of strange and darksome, +perhaps appalling, mysteries, he has never been able to say. He was +minded to speak of these things to the emir and get his opinion on +them. Upon reflection, remembering how the philter had not been of any +avail in the case of the young lady of Englewood, he thought, despite +the explanation which might be offered for this failure, that the emir +might be embarrassed at hearing of the failure of the charm, and +accordingly he said nothing when once more he sat in the presence of +the urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having +handed him a bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed began to +narrate The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman. + + + + +_The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman._ + + +Dr. August Moehrlein, Ph. D., was a professor of the languages and +religions of India. A man of great gravity of countenance and of +impressive port, he was popularly reputed to have a complete knowledge +of the occult learning of the adepts of India, that nebulous and +mysterious philosophy which irreducible to the laws of nature as +recognized by Occidentals, is by them pronounced either magic and +feared as such, or ridiculed and despised as pretentious mummery and +deluding prestidigitation. There was a legend among the students of +his department that he was wont to project himself into the fourth +dimension and thus traveling downtown, effect a substantial saving of +street-car fare. This is clearly impossible, for the yogis do not thus +move about in their own persons. It is only the astral self that flies +leagues through the air with the rapidity of thought, only the +spiritual essence, the living man's ghost flying abroad while the +living man's corpse lies inanimate at home. But even this, Dr. August +Moehrlein could not do, for the yogis do not initiate men of Western +nations into their mysteries. Dr. Moehrlein's knowledge of the occult +of India was wholly empirical. He knew that certain things were done +and could recount them, but as to how they were done, he could tell +nothing. It must not be thought that of all the marvelous and +awe-compelling things the yogis of India are accustomed to do, none +can be assigned to any other origin than cunning legerdemain and +hypnotism, or to the exercise of supernatural powers. Many of them are +due to a strange and wonderful knowledge of nature which the science +of the Occident has not yet reached in all its boasted advance. Yet +when once explained, the Westerner understands some of these phenomena +and is able to repeat them. Into this region of the penumbra of +science and exact knowledge the researches of Dr. Moehrlein had taken +him a little way and it was this that had gained him his reputation +among his pupils as a thaumaturgist. + +Along with the learning which this country has imported from Germany +have come some customs to which the savants of both that country and +this ascribe a certain fostering influence, if not a creative impulse, +highly advantageous to the national scholarship. It is the habit of +the university men of Germany to foregather of nights in the genial +pursuit of drinking beer, and many of the notable theories which +German scholarship has propounded are to be directly attributed to +this stimulating good fellowship known as kommers. Indeed, when one +has imbibed twelve or fourteen steins of beer and sat in an atmosphere +of tobacco smoke for some hours, his mind attains a clarity, a sense +of proportion, a power of reflection, speculation, and intuition which +enables him to evolve those notable theories for which German +scholarship is so famous. It is under the intellectual stimulus of the +kommers, when the foam lies thick in the steins and blue clouds of +tobacco smoke roll overhead, that the great classical scholars of +Germany perceive that the classical epics, the Iliad, the Odyssey, the +Aeneid, are but the typifying of the rolling of the clouds in the +empyrean, the warfare of the foam-crested waves dashing upon the land, +that the metamorphoses and amours of the gods and all the myths of the +elder world, are but the mutations of the clouds and the fanciful +figures they take on and the metamorphoses and hurryings of the +ever-changing sea with its foam forms and the shadows that lie across +its unquiet surface. Wonderful indeed is the scientific imagination +that thus accounts for, classifies, and labels the imagination of the +poets, which otherwise we might think a thing defying classification, +an inspiration, a creative genius taking nothing from a dim suggestion +of the cold clouds and sea, but weaving its tales from the suggestion +of human lives and human passions. Wonderful indeed is the good sense +of the rest of the world in accepting unquestioned these important +discoveries of German scholars in the beer kellars, which well might +be called the laboratories of the classical department of the German +universities. + +Dr. August Moehrlein was a staunch advocate of the advantage of the +kommers as an adjunct to every thoroughly organized university. If he +could not gather others for a kommers, he would hold a kommers all by +himself, or perchance with the barkeeper. Needless to say that the +name of Moehrlein was attached to many valuable and plausible theories +which America received as the last word on the subject treated; +needless to tell you that the various gods of India had been +identified with the sun, moon, and more important stars, and that it +was conclusively shown that the Sanskrit romancers had written their +tales by merely looking at the clouds and the sea. Would that this +accomplishment of the ancients had not gone from us and that the +moderns might write as the ancients by merely looking at the clouds +and the sea. Dr. Moehrlein was an upholder of the kommers. But his +wife, though German-born, behaved like a very Philistine and objected +to his constant and unwavering attendance upon these occasions of +intellectual uplift. For as the doctor added to the knowledge of the +world, he added to his weight. He had identified Brahma with the sun, +but had drunk his face purple in the intellectual effort. In his +search for the suggestions of the tale of Nala, he had acquired a +paunch very like a bag. Mrs. Moehrlein was accustomed to shrink from +the approach of the victim of the pursuit of knowledge. As for him, he +would have liked to caress and fondle her. To him there was always +present a remembrance of her early beauty and the golden mist of +memory shone before his eyes and he did not see that she was a heavy, +middle-aged woman with coarse features and coarse figure. Animal +beauty she had once had. The beauty had utterly flown, but the animal +all remained. She had a shifty and wandering eye, burned out and +lusterless, that told of dreams that were of men, men who these many +years had not included her husband, grotesque figure that he was, ugly +as a satyr in one of the myths suggested by the clouds and the sea. + +It was a pleasant day of the last of May, in the mating season of +birds, when the world was warm and throbbing with young life. The +eminent Asiatic scholar looked across the lunch table, regarding his +wife with wistful sadness as she refreshed herself with boiled +cabbage. + +"Do you know the day? It is thirty years since Hilsenhoff went into +the box; thirty years since we have been man and--woman." + +"Ah, yes, this is the anniversary. Thirty years, thirty years. Poor +young Hilsenhoff." + +She said these words with a tinge of sadness that was almost regret +and this did not escape the doctor. + +"One might fancy you were sorry. Yet it was your own doing. I was +young and handsome then. A Hercules, young, full of life, late +champion swordsman of the university, a rising light in the realm of +learning, as well as a figure in society. You were the beautiful wife +of tutor Hilsenhoff, the buxom girl with the form of a Venus and the +passion of that goddess as well, tied to a thin, pallid bookworm ten +years your senior, neglecting his pouting wife with blood full of fire +for the pages of the literature of Hindoostan, prating of the loves of +Ganesha and Vishnu, when a goddess awaited his own neglectful arms. So +when on the day when he stepped into the box, leaving us the sole +repository of the secret of his whereabouts--that the mutton-headed +police might not interfere with the success of his experiment by +preventing what they might think practically suicide--you said to let +him stay." + +"I was twenty and he thirty," mused the woman. "Poor young +Hilsenhoff." + +"Young! I was twenty-three--and a man." + +"Dead or alive, he is young Hilsenhoff to me. He was thirty when last +I saw him." + +"Dead or alive? What are you thinking of?" + +An idea had been taking shape in the woman's mind without her +realizing it. It had grown from her own words, rather than had the +words sprung from the idea. + +"Why, if a man be brought into a condition where all bodily functions +are suspended and he is as he were dead, and remain in this condition +for months and be brought out of it no more harmed than if he had +slept overnight, why may it not be years, instead of months? Has any +man ever proved that, in this condition, one may not live on +indefinitely?" she said. + +"No man has ever proved that one cannot, but what is more important, +no man has ever proved that one can. No man has ever proved beyond +shadow of doubt that one may not fashion wings and fly, but no man has +ever demonstrated that one can. In India, only one man has ever tried +to continue in a state of suspended animation for over six months, and +that was the rajah who, condemned to death by the English, ostensibly +died before the soldiers could come to carry out the sentence and was +brought out of his tomb and restored to life three days after a new +British viceroy had proclaimed a general amnesty to all past +offenders. The period was eight months. If the viceroys had not been +changed for a number of years, we might have learned more concerning +the length of the period in which a man may continue in the semblance +of death without it becoming reality. No, these twenty-five years has +Hilsenhoff been bones." + +"Then let us take them out and bury them." + +"No, no. Then would I feel like a murderer indeed. I left him in there +for you. Now let his bones rest there for sake of me." + +But the woman had become possessed of an idea which in turn possessed +her, a dream, for which like all mankind, she would fight harder than +for any substantiality, for no reality can be so glorious as a dream. + +"But there was the man at Sutlej, the man who had himself buried in a +wheat field for the edification of Alexander the Great, there to +remain until a wheat crop had passed through its stages from sowing +until harvest." + +"The man at Sutlej!" exclaimed the doctor impatiently. "That a man was +thus buried, the pages of Quintus Curtius's history show, and the +Macedonian armies suddenly retreating from India, he was forgotten and +not one, but two thousand wheat harvests have been garnered over his +burial place." + +"But the article in the _Revue Des Deux Mondes_, telling how he had +been found," objected the woman faintly. + +The doctor looked at her in amazement. + +"What will not people do to believe that which they wish to believe. +You, you, you!--do you ask me concerning that lie in the _Revue Des +Deux Mondes_? Oh, woman, woman! When did your memory of the details of +that hoax fail you? Not longer ago than ten minutes. A lying Frenchman +said he was on his way to France with a resuscitated contemporary of +Alexander the Great and that a full account of the matter would be +published in two or three months. Hilsenhoff left the duration of his +stay in the box at my discretion, enjoining me, however, that he +should not be taken out before the Frenchman had published the full +account of the Sutlej case, for we would then have many interesting +comparisons in his behavior and response to the restorative methods +used, and the reaction and response of this man buried two thousand +years to the same methods for restoring suspended animation. The +Frenchman never arrived with his man. It was all a lie. Yet by +following Hilsenhoff's solemn injunctions to the letter, we had an +excuse to leave him as dead, and you insisted that we should do so, +and I, weak and infatuated with your ripe beauty, I agreed. You said +that we would leave him in his self-chosen sleep and that he should be +our lodger. And so he has been and we have never called him to +breakfast in all these thirty years. We have even brought him to +America with us and he sleeps. Ah, no, we did not slay him. We but +obeyed his commands." + +"Poor young Hilsenhoff. And I am his wife and he is but thirty years +old and I am fifty. Heigho!" + +"Woman, you will drive me crazy," said the great annotator of the +Upanishads, and he left for a kommers with the nearest barkeeper. + +"As if you did not drive me crazy, you obese, misshapen wine skin! you +bloated, blue-faced sot!" said the woman. "I deserted young Hilsenhoff +for you, Hilsenhoff with his delicate cheeks and his soft yellow hair, +and he is mine and I am his and I will let him out of the box and we +will live together in love, the dear young thing. What if he does +study sometimes? I shall not mind. He need not always sit with me in +love's dalliance." + +All at once it came home to her that if Moehrlein maintained the +resuscitation of Hilsenhoff was impossible and charged her with +believing it possible because she wished to believe it so, it might +also be true that he did not believe it possible because he did not +wish to so believe. The burned out eyes that told of dreams of men, +men who these many years had not included her husband, smoldered with +a sudden fire. With a song in her heart, she was up and bustling +about. She filled a brazier with coals and got a frying-pan and +wheat-cake batter, and a razor and a crocheting hook--ah, she knew how +the process of restoring suspended animation was practised. She +lumbered up into the third story with her burdens, into the room where +slept the lodger. Not for fifteen years had anyone looked into that +sleeping chamber. The blinds and curtains, all were drawn, the dust +lay thick under foot. She let in the light of day at every window. +There sat the box in the middle of the floor, hooped with bands of +iron and with the great seal of the University of Bonn stamped upon +the lock. She broke the seal and turned the lock and then sank down in +a sudden faintness of heart. Indeed, how loath she was to put an end +to the dream that had just now filled her whole being with rapture, +and what else would it be but to put an end to it when she delved into +that box? She would go away and let herself dream on a few days more +before putting the matter to its final test, perhaps never doing so. +Thus she reasoned, and yet her hand, as she sat before the box with +averted face, rose as if impelled by the volition of another +intelligence, over the edge of the box, down to the mass of wool and +wadding, through it to the wrappings and swathings in the middle, +through the wrapping, and felt--the thrill of unimaginable joy ran +through her. It was not bones, it was not bones! + +Into the room of the lodger came Dr. August Moehrlein. The coals of +the brazier were out, the batter had been turned into cakes, the razor +was covered with hair, four waxen plugs lay by the crocheting hook. +The process was over. The sleeper was awake and there he stood, his +delicate face yet pinched with sleep and his eyes heavy, but alive and +young, young Hilsenhoff with his soft yellow hair and mild blue eyes. +On the floor before him in an attitude of adoration, knelt the woman +who in the view of the law, was his wife, her eyes burned out no +longer, but aflash with youthful passion. But in her eyes alone was +there youth. Nothing of youthful archness and coquetry was there in +her gaze, only greed, the sickening fondness of an aging woman for a +young man. In a daze, he stared at her and heard her clumsy +compliments, her vulgar protestations of love, things which the ripe +beauty of her youth might have condoned, but now were nauseating. He +saw her heavy jowls and sensual lips, the thick nose and all the +revenges of time upon a once beautiful body that had clothed an ugly +soul. He looked at his own rusty clothing, stiff and hard and creased +in a thousand wrinkles, and into the mildewed nest where the mould +from the moisture of his own body grew thick and green and horrible. +He gazed at Dr. Moehrlein, the one-time Adonis of Bonn, and he +shuddered, and which of what he looked at, or whether all, made him do +so, he could not tell. + +Old men like young women, but so do old women hanker after young men. +The life companion of Moehrlein embraced Hilsenhoff's knees. With +smirkings and grimacings and leers that started his shudders afresh, +she told him all. She confessed her crime and abased herself, but now +they would begin life again, and she croaked forth a string of +allurements from a throat that had known too many rich puddings. Oh, +who shall describe her transports! Never before had every fiber of her +being been so penetrated with joy! A young husband, oh, a young +husband! By as much as Moehrlein had once surpassed him, did +Hilsenhoff now surpass Moehrlein a hundred fold. And young, young, +young! She was like to fall on her face in her ecstasy. The discarded +and despised Moehrlein stood by and paid, if never before, the price +of his villainy. There is a contempt of man for man and a contempt of +woman for woman, but the contempt of woman for man---- + +One sleeps and is unconscious, but nonetheless by some subtle sense is +aware of the passage of time, and the thirty years that he had slept, +pressed upon young Hilsenhoff and his soul yearned to take up life +again. He looked at the companions of his youth, that youth which was +still his and had gone from them, and he looked at the place where he +had lain for a third of a century, thick with damp green mould. +Outside the song of birds was calling him, the rustle of green leaves +and the glorious sunlight, the world renewing its life with the warm +throbs of the year's youth, and putting from him forever his living +grave and the woman and her paramour, he rushed into the joyous +springtide. + +Now why, my friend, descend into the hell of repinings and rage and +heart-gnawings of that woman he left behind? Or why tell of the misery +of the learned Dr. Moehrlein? She has no comfort whatsoever, but the +doctor has the solace of his kommers, so let us wish that his beer may +be forever flat, his wieners mildewy, and the mustard mouldy like the +horrible nest of young Hilsenhoff. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of the Emir._ + + +"I did not know that such things were possible," said Mr. Middleton, +when Prince Achmed had concluded the tale of the episode of the two +Orientalists and the faithless woman. "Do I understand that the person +in this condition is asleep?" + +"It is not consistent with strict scientific accuracy to say the +person is asleep," said the emir; "for the vital processes are +entirely in abeyance and the subject is devoid of any evidence of +life. The pulse is still, for the heart no longer beats and all the +blood having retreated to that inmost citadel of the body, the skin +has the pallor of death. Only in a little spot upon the crown is there +any sign of life. Here is a place warm to the touch and the first and +most important operation in restoring the suspended animation, is to +send this vital warmth forth from where it still feebly simmers, +coursing once more through the body's shrunken channels. This is +accomplished by shaving the crown and applying thereto a succession of +piping hot pancakes. The tongue has been curved back over the entrance +to the throat. You reach into the mouth and with a finger pull the +tongue back into place. Plugs of wax in the nostrils and ears are +removed, and in a very short time the subject is as well as ever." + +"It is very interesting," murmured Mr. Middleton. + +"Since you find it so, let me present you with a little treatise upon +the subject written by a Mohammedan hakim, or doctor of medicine, +after studying several cases of the kind at Madras, which is in +India," and at his bidding, Mesrour brought him a small portable +writing desk from which he took a manuscript scroll inscribed in the +Arabic language. "The first page," said Prince Achmed, "contains a few +thoughts upon the superiority of the Moslem faith over all others and +a discussion of the follies, inconsistencies, not to say evils of them +all when compared with that perfect religious system declared to men +by the Prophet of Mecca," and having in an orotund voice given Mr. +Middleton some idea of the contents of this page by quoting a number +of sentences, the prince handed him the sheet, which was inscribed +upon one side only. The emir continuing to give a summary of what the +hakim set forth in the remaining pages, and handing over each sheet as +he finished it, Mr. Middleton wrote in short-hand upon the blank side +of each preceding sheet what the emir culled from the one following, +omitting, of course, the contents of the first sheet, both because he +had nothing to write upon while the emir was quoting from that one, +and because its theology was entirely contrary to all Mr. Middleton +held, and, in his eyes, ridiculous and sacrilegious. When the emir had +done, Mr. Middleton had in his possession a succinct account of the +process of inducing a condition of suspended animation and of the +means of restoring the subject to his normal state. It was his +intention to write an article from his notes for some Sunday paper, +and putting the hakim's treatise in his pocket, and thanking his host +for the entertainment and instruction as well as the gift, he sought +his lodgings. + +Mr. Middleton had now been admitted to the bar for some time. But the +firm of Brockelsby and Brockman did not therefore raise his salary. +They made greater demands upon his endeavors than before, for he was +now able to handle cases in court, but they did not raise his salary, +nor did they employ him upon cases where he was able to distinguish +himself, or learn new points of law and gain forensic ability. He was +employed upon humdrum and commonplace cases that were a vexation to +his spirit without any compensating advantage of pecuniary reward or +experience. While he felt that his self-respect and on one hand his +self-interests impelled him to resign his connection with Brockelsby +and Brockman, on the other hand, the very course his employers pursued +made such retirement temporarily inexpedient. For the trivial cases he +handled could neither gain him reputation enough or make him friends +enough to warrant him in setting up for himself, nor would they +attract the attention of other firms and result in offers at an +increased salary. He was in a measure forced to remain with Brockelsby +and Brockman, hoping they would be moved to pay him according to his +worth and dreaming of some contingency which might place in his hands +the management of an important case with the resulting enhancing of +his reputation. + +On the morning after he had received the dissertation of the hakim, +Mr. Middleton arose with the first streak of dawn, minded to seek the +office and write his projected article before the time for his regular +duties should arrive. As he opened the door of the main office, his +ear was saluted by a low grunting sound, and there in evening dress +was Mr. Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby, reclining in a big chair, asleep, +if one could with propriety call the stupor in which he was sunk, +sleep. The disorder of his garments, the character of his +sternutations, the redness of his face, and above all, the odor he +distilled upon the chill morning air, made patent to Mr. Middleton the +disgusting fact that the senior member of the firm was drunk. On the +table before the unconscious man was a note from Mr. Brockman +informing him that he had been unexpectedly called to Lansing, +Michigan, and would not be back for a week and that therefore he, +Brockelsby, would have to attend to the important case of Ralston +versus Hippenmeyer, all by himself. Mr. Middleton at once set about +bringing his employer into a condition where he could attend to his +affairs, for the case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer was a very +important one indeed, and as Mr. Middleton had briefed the case +himself and had his sympathies greatly excited for Johannes +Hippenmeyer, he was very anxious that their client should not lose for +default of any effort he could make. But his heart was heavy as he +brought towels and a basin of cold water from the wash-room, for after +he had done his very best, Brockelsby would still be far from the +proper form, his brain befogged, his speech thick, and the counsel for +the other side would make short work of him. + +Mr. Middleton had never tried to sober a drunken man, but he had an +indistinct recollection of hearing that a towel wet with cold water, +wrapped around the head was the best remedial agent. As he soaked the +towels, he could not but compare the difference between this chill +restorative and the hot cakes in the tale of the emir, and on a sudden +there came to him a thought that sent all the gloom from his face. He +dropped the towels, he dropped the basin, and he opened the treatise +of the hakim and feverishly refreshed his memory of the details of an +operation sometimes practised in India. + +An hour and a half had passed when Mr. Middleton finished. Mr. +Augustus Brockelsby still sat in the revolving chair, but he was no +longer disturbing the air with his unseemly grunts. He was, in fact, +absolutely silent, absolutely still. The keenest touch could feel no +pulsation in his wrist, the keenest eye could detect no agitation of +his chest, the keenest ear could hear no beating from the region of +the heart. For a moment as he gazed upon the result of following the +instructions set down by the hakim, Mr. Middleton felt a little clutch +of fear. But he was reassured by the lifelike appearance of the +learned jurisconsult and by the fact that the induction into his +present state had been attended by none of the manifestations that +accompany death. + +"Now," said Mr. Middleton, addressing the unconscious form of Augustus +Brockelsby, "now there will be no chance of you appearing in court in +the case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer. I will not restore you until +it is all over. I will now have the long coveted opportunity to plead +an important case and as I have studied it so carefully, I shall win. +There will now be no chance that poor little Hippenmeyer will suffer +from your disgraceful and bestial habits, for in spite of the best +that could be done for you, you would be in no fit condition to plead +a case this afternoon. And when I bring you to at fall of night, you +will think you have been drunk all day. But where will I keep you in +the meantime?" + +This was a most perplexing problem. There were no closets in the suite +of offices. There were no boxes, no desks big enough to conceal a man +and Mr. Middleton's brow was beginning to contract as he struggled +with the problem, when suddenly the stillness of the room was +disturbed by some one smiting the door. Not a sound made he, for his +heart had stopped beating as completely as Brockelsby's. What should +he do, what should he do? The paralysis of fear answered for him and +supplied the best present plan and he did nothing. Then came a voice, +a voice calling him by name, the voice of Chauncy Stackelberg. + +"Open up, old man, open up. I know you are there, for I heard you +knocking around before I rapped and you dropped your handkerchief +outside the door. Open up, or I'll shin right over the transom, for I +must see you," and still preserving silence, Mr. Middleton heard a +sound as of a man essaying to stand on the door knob and grasp the +transom above. He rushed to the door, unlocked it, and opening it just +enough to squeeze through, shut it behind him and thrust the key in +the lock. + +"Keep still, keep still. You'll wake the old man. I can't let you in." + +"Was that him, slumped down in the chair? Must be tired to sleep in +that position. Say, old chap, you were my best man, and now I want you +again." + +"Want me to draw up papers for a divorce?" said Mr. Middleton, +gloomily. How was he going to get rid of this inopportune fellow? + +"Shut up," said Chauncy Stackelberg. "It's a boy, and I want you to +come up to the christening next Sunday and be godfather. You don't +know how happy I am. Say, come on down and get a drink." + +Ten minutes before, Mr. Middleton had been convinced that drink was a +very great curse, but he accepted this invitation with alacrity, +naming a saloon two blocks away as the one he considered best in that +vicinity. He surmised that the happy father would hardly offer to come +back with him from such a distance, and the surmise was correct. As he +reascended to the office, with him in the elevator were two gentlemen, +one of whom he recognized as Dr. Angus McAllyn, a celebrated surgeon +who had two or three times come to the office to see Mr. Brockelsby +and the other as Dr. Lucius Darst, a young eye and ear specialist who +within the space of but a few days had established his office in the +building. To neither of these gentlemen, however, was Mr. Middleton +known. + +"I want you to get off on this floor with me," said Dr. McAllyn to his +medical confrere. "I may want your assistance a bit. You see," he went +on, as they got out of the elevator and started down the corridor with +Mr. Middleton just behind, "we had a banquet last night of the Society +of Andrew Jackson's Wars, and my friend Brockelsby got too much +aboard. He was turned over to me to take to his home, but just as we +were leaving, I received an urgent call. So the best I could do was to +drive by here and start him toward his office and go on. He could +navigate after a fashion and doubtless spent the night all right in +his office, and I would take no farther trouble with him but for the +fact that he has an important case to-day. So I want to fix him up, +and as I haven't much time, you can be of service to me." + +"Ah, ha," said Mr. Middleton to himself, "I'll just lie low until they +have given up trying to get in and have gone." + +But they did not go away. To his consternation, they opened the door +and walked in, for though he had put the key in the lock when he had +closed the door behind him to parley with Chauncy Stackelberg, he had +walked away without turning it! They would find Mr. Brockelsby! Great +though Dr. McAllyn was, he would hardly be likely to recognize a +condition of suspended animation. Unless Mr. Middleton confessed, +there was danger that the famous forensic orator would be buried +alive. And if he confessed, what would the consequences be to himself? +The fact that in whatever event he would lose his place and be a +marked and disgraced man, was the very least thing to consider. He was +threatened with far more serious dangers than that. First, there would +be the vengeance the law would take upon him for meddling with and +tampering with medical matters. But even if he had been a physician, +would the medical faculty look otherwise than with horror upon this +rash and wanton experimenting with the strange and unholy practices of +India? Even a medical man would be arrested for malpractice and for +depriving a fellow being of the use of his faculties. The penitentiary +stared him in the face. + +He could not endure not to know what was taking place within. He must +have knowledge of everything in order to know what moves to make and +when to make them. He let himself through the outer door of Mr. +Brockman's private office, and by taking a position by the door +communicating between this office and the main office, he could hear +everything in safety. + +"Shall I send for an undertaker?" asked Dr. Darst. + +At these chilling words, Mr. Middleton was about to open the private +office door and rush in and confess all. He had begun to place the key +in the lock, when a joyful thought stayed his hand. Let them bury Mr. +Brockelsby. He would dig him up. He laughed noiselessly in his intense +relief. But hark, what does he hear? + +"Darst, this is an unusual case." + +"Yes?" said Dr. Darst mildly. + +"A strange, a remarkable case. Darst, if we do not examine this case, +we are traitors to science. Darst, we must take him to the medical +school. When we are through, we'll sew him all again and bring him +back here, or leave him almost any place where he can be found easily. +He will be just as good to bury then as now, nobody hurt, and the +cause of science advanced. Observe, Darst, dead, absolutely dead, yet +with no rigor mortis. Dead, and yet as if he slept. If need be, we +will pursue to the inmost recesses of his being the secret of his +demise." + +Mr. Middleton was nigh to falling to the floor. The succession of hope +and fear had taken from him all resolution. Of what use would it be to +exhume Mr. Brockelsby after the doctors had cut him up? The impulse to +rush in and confess had spent itself and he was now cravenly drifting +with the tide. All judgment, all power of reflection had departed from +him. He was now only a pitiable wretch with scarcely strength to stand +by the door and listen, unable to originate any thought, any action. + +"How are you going to get him out of here?" asked Dr. Darst. + +"In a box. You don't suppose I'd carry him down and put him in a +hack?" + +"But suppose they get to looking for him? It is known that he came +here. A box goes out of here to be taken to the medical school, a long +box that might hold a man. You and I are the ones who hire the men who +carry the box." + +"Who said a long box that might hold a man? It will be a short, rather +tall box, packing-case shape. Remember, he is as limber as you are and +can be accommodated to any position. He will be put in it sitting bolt +upright. It will be only half the length of a man, with nothing in its +shape to suggest that it might hold a man. Who said take it to the +medical school from here? I hire a drayman to take a box to the Union +Depot. He dumps it there on the sidewalk near the places for in-going +and out-going baggage. Ostensibly going to carry it as excess baggage. +We fiddle around until he goes, then call up some other drayman in the +crowd hanging about and take a box just arrived from Milwaukee, St. +Paul, any place the drayman wants to think, out to the college. As for +the inquiry that will be made concerning the whereabouts of +Brockelsby, rest easy on that point. He frequently goes off on sprees +of several days' duration and his absence from home is of such common +occurrence that his wife won't begin to hunt him up until we are +through with him and have got him back here, or have dumped him in +front of some building with his neck broken, showing that he fell out +of some story above." + +All this Mr. Middleton heard as he leaned against the door jamb, +swallowing, swallowing, with never a thing in his mouth since the +night before, yet swallowing. He heard Dr. Darst go after a box. He +heard men deposit it in the corridor outside. He heard the two doctors +take it in when the men had gone. He heard it go heavily out into the +corridor again after a long interval. He heard more men come, come to +carry it away, and he pulled himself together with a supreme effort +and followed. He saw the box loaded on a dray. With his eye constantly +on it, he threaded his way through the crowd on the sidewalk, followed +it on its way across the river to the Union Depot. With never a hope +in his heart that anything could possibly occur to save him from a +final confession and its consequences, humanlike postponing the evil +hour as long as he could. + +The box was dumped upon the sidewalk before the depot. The two medical +men stood leaning upon it, waiting for the drayman to depart. The evil +moment had arrived. Once away from the depot, in the less congested +streets in the direction of the medical college, the dray would go too +fast for him to follow. He approached. He must speak now. No, no. He +need not follow the dray. That was not necessary. He could get to the +medical school before they could have time to do injury to Mr. +Brockelsby. It would be safe to let the box get out of his sight for +that little time. He would tell at the medical college. + +"Yes, as soon as we get him there," said Dr. McAllyn, "we'll put him +in the pickle." + +Mr. Middleton sprang forward and put an appealing hand upon the +shoulder of either doctor. With a sudden start that caused him to +start in turn, each wheeled about. For a moment, he could say nothing +and stood with palsied lips while they gave back his stare. Gave back +his stare? All at once his mouth came open and these were the words he +heard issue forth: + +"Sirs, I arrest you for stealing the body of Mr. Augustus Alfonso +Brockelsby, attorney-at-law." + +He who had just now been an abject, grovelling wretch, was of a sudden +come to be a lord among men. The practitioners making no reply, he +continued: + +"Are you going to be sensible enough to make no trouble, or shall I +have to call yonder officer?" + +Mr. Middleton considered this quite a master stroke. By the assumption +of a pretended authority over the neighboring policeman he would +forestall any possibility of resistance and question as to what +authority he represented. But he need have had no fears on this score. +The doctors were too alarmed to do otherwise than submit to his +pleasure, too thoroughly convinced that none but a detective could +have had knowledge of the contents of the box. But Dr. McAllyn did +attach a significance to what Mr. Middleton had said, a significance +natural to one so well acquainted with the devious ways of the great +city as he was. + +"Well," he said, with a sardonic smile, "you needn't call in help. We +stand pat. How much is it going to cost us?" + +Then did Mr. Middleton perceive he was delivered from a dilemma, a +dilemma unforeseen, but which even if foreseen, he could not have +forearmed against. After he had arrested the doctors, how would he +have disposed of them and the box containing Mr. Brockelsby? How could +he have released the doctors and carried off the box in a manner that +would not excite their suspicions? If he had, in pretended leniency +and soft-heartedness told them they were free, the absence of any +apparent motive for this action would have instantly caused them to +suspect that for some unknown and probably unrighteous reason, he +desired possession of the body of Mr. Brockelsby and thus would ensue +a series of complications that would make the ruse of the arrest but a +leap from the frying pan into the fire. But now Dr. McAllyn had +supplied the motive. + +"Sirs," said Mr. Middleton, with an air of virtue that was well suited +to the character of the sentiments he now began to enunciate, "you +deserve punishment. You have been taken in the act of committing a +crime that is particularly revolting,--stealing a corpse. Dr. McAllyn, +you have been apprehended in foul treason against friendship. You have +stolen the body of a comrade. You have meditated cruel and shocking +mutilation of this body, giving to the horror-stricken eyes of the +frantic widow the mangled and defaced flesh that was once the goodly +person of her husband, leaving her to waste her life in vain and +terrible speculations as to where and how he encountered this awful +death with its so dreadful wounds." + +"It was for the sake of science," interpolated Dr. McAllyn, in no +little indignation. "If from the insensible clay of the dead we may +learn that which will save suffering and prolong existence for the +living, well may we disregard the ancient and ridiculous sentiment +regarding corpses, a relic of the ancient heathen days when it was +believed that this selfsame body of this life was worn again in +another world." + +"I will not engage in an antiquarian discussion with you, sir, as to +the origin of this sentiment. Suffice to say it exists and is one of +the most powerful sentiments that rules mankind. You have attempted to +violate it, to outrage it. However you may look upon your action, the +penitentiary awaits you. Yet one can well hesitate to pronounce the +word that condemns a fellow man to that living death. It is not the +mere punishment itself. The dragging years will pass, but what will +you be when they have passed? We no longer brand the persons of +convicts, but none the less does the iron sear their souls and none +the less does the world see with its mind's eye the scorched word +'convict' on their brows, so long as they live. In the capacity of +judge, were I one, I might use such limit of discretion as the law +allows in making your punishment lighter or heavier, but the disgrace +of it, no one can mitigate. Therefore, that you may receive some +measure of the punishment you deserve, and yet not be blasted for +life, I will accept a monetary consideration and set you free." + +"Oh, you will, will you?" said Dr. McAllyn. "How much lighter or +heavier will you in your capacity as judge make this impost?" + +"I will not take my time in replying to your slurs in kind. You, Dr. +McAllyn, as the one primarily responsible, as the leader who induced +Dr. Darst to enter this conspiracy, as the one most to be reproached, +in that Mr. Brockelsby was your friend, as the one by far the most +able to pay, you shall pay $1,200. Dr. Darst shall pay $200. This is a +punishment by no means commensurate with your crime. By this forfeit, +shall you escape prison and disgrace." + +"Of course you know that I have no such sum as that about me," said +Dr. McAllyn. "I will write you a check." + +"I am not so green as I look," said Mr. Middleton, assuming an easy +sitting posture upon the box containing the mortal envelope of Mr. +Brockelsby. "You may dispatch Dr. Darst with a check to get the money +for you and himself. You will remain here as a hostage until his +return." + +Accordingly, Dr. Darst departed and Mr. Middleton sat engrossed in +reflection upon the chain of unpleasant circumstances that had forced +upon him the unavoidable and distasteful rôle of a bribe-taker. Yet +how else could he have carried off the part he had assumed? How else +could he have obtained custody of Mr. Brockelsby? And surely the +doctors richly deserved punishment. It was not meet that they should +go scot free and in no other way could he bring it about that +retribution should be visited upon them. + +"It is all here," said Mr. Middleton, when he had counted the bills +brought by Dr. Darst. "I shall now see that Mr. Brockelsby is taken +back to the office whence you took him." + +"Pardon me," said Dr. Darst, "how in the world did you know we took +him from his office? How did you ferret it all out?" + +"I cannot tell you that," said Mr. Middleton. "I shall take him back +to the office. He will be found there later in the day, just as you +found him. You are wise enough to make no inquiries concerning him, to +watch for no news of developments. Indeed, to make in some measure an +alibi, should it be needed, you had better leave town by next train +for the rest of the day. If it were known you were with Mr. Brockelsby +at any time, might it not be thought that you were responsible for the +condition he was found in?" + +The doctors boarded the very next train, and Mr. Middleton, serene in +the knowledge that no one would disturb him now, had the box taken +back and set up in the main office. A slight thump in the box as it +was ended up against the wall, caused Mr. Middleton to believe that +Mr. Brockelsby was now resting on his head, but he resolved to allow +this unavoidable circumstance to occasion him no disquiet. Going to a +large department store where a sale of portières was in progress, he +purchased some portières and a number of other things. The portières +he draped over the box, concealing its bare pine with shimmering +cardinal velvet and turning it into the semblance of a cabinet. Lest +any inquisitive hand tear it away, he placed six volumes of Chitty and +a bust of Daniel Webster upon the top and tacked two photographs of +Mr. Brockelsby upon the front. Confident that no one would disturb the +receptacle containing his employer, he went into court and after a +short but exceedingly spirited legal battle in which he displayed a +forensic ability, a legal lore, and a polished eloquence which few of +the older members of the Chicago bar could have equalled, he won a +signal victory. + +Although it was not his intention to set about restoring Mr. +Brockelsby until an hour that would ensure him against likelihood of +interruption, he returned to the office to see if by any untoward +mischance anybody could have interfered with the box. To his surprise, +he found Mrs. Brockelsby seated before that object of vertu with her +eye straying abstractedly over the cardinal portières, the photographs +of Mr. Brockelsby, the bust of Daniel Webster, and the volumes of +Chitty. + +"Oh, Mr. Middleton," exclaimed the lady. "Mr. Brockelsby did not come +home to-day and they tell me he wasn't in court." + +"No, he was not in court," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Oh, where, oh, where can he be!" moaned Mrs. Brockelsby. + +Mr. Middleton being of the opinion that this question was merely +exclamatory, ejaculatory in its nature, of the kind orators employ to +garnish and embellish their discourse and which all books of rhetoric +state do not expect or require an answer, accordingly made no answer. +He was, nevertheless, somewhat disturbed by the poor lady's grief and +wished that it were possible to restore her husband to her instantly. + +"Oh, I have wanted to see him so, I have wanted him so! Oh, where can +he be, Mr. Middleton! I must find him. I cannot endure it longer. I +will offer a reward to anyone who will bring him home within +twenty-four hours, to anyone who will find him. Oh, oh, oh, oh! I will +give $200. I will give it to you, yourself, if you will find him. +Write a notice to that effect and take it to the newspaper offices." + +This great distress on the part of the lady was all contrary to what +Dr. McAllyn had said concerning her indifference to the absence of her +spouse and caused Mr. Middleton to feel very much like a guilty +wretch. As he wrote out the notices for the papers, he reiterated +assurances that Mr. Brockelsby would turn up before morning, while the +partner of the missing barrister continued her heartbroken wailing and +the cause of it all was driven well-nigh wild. + +"Oh, if you only knew!" she said, as Mr. Middleton was about to depart +for the newspaper offices. "Day after to-morrow, I am going to +Washington to attend a meeting of the Federation of Woman's Clubs. +That odious Mrs. LeBaron is going to spring a diamond necklace worth +two thousand dollars more than mine. Augustus must come home in time +to sign a check so I can put three thousand dollars more into mine." + +A great load soared from Mr. Middleton's mind and blithe joy reigned +there instead. + +"Mrs. Brockelsby, I'll leave no stone unturned. I'll bring you your +husband before breakfast," and escorting the lady to her carriage and +handing her in with the greatest deference and most courtly gallantry, +he set forth for one of the more famous of the large restaurants which +are household words among the elite of Chicago. Mr. Middleton had +never passed its portals, but with fourteen hundred dollars in his +pocket and two hundred more in sight, he felt he could afford to give +himself a good meal and break the fast he had kept since the evening +before, for in the crowded events of the day, he had found time to +refresh himself with nothing more substantial than an apple and a bag +of peanuts, or fruit of the Arachis hypogea. + +As he sat down at a table in the glittering salle-à-manger, what was +his great surprise and even greater delight, to see seated opposite, +just slowly finishing his dessert--a small bowl of sherbet--habited in +a perfectly-fitting frock coat with a red carnation in the lapel, the +urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having +exchanged mutual expressions of pleasure at this unexpected encounter, +Mr. Middleton, overjoyed and elated at the successes of the day, began +to pour into the ears of the prince a relation of the events that had +resulted from the gift of the treatise of the learned hakim of Madras, +which is in India. He told everything from the beginning to the end. + +"In the morning," he said in conclusion, "I take Mr. Brockelsby home +in a cab and get the two hundred dollars." + +"Alas, alas!" said Achmed mournfully, his great liquid brown eyes +resting sorrowfully upon Mr. Middleton. "What a corrupting effect the +haste to get rich has upon American youth. My friend, it cannot be +that you intend to take the two hundred dollars?" + +"But I find old Brock, don't I?' + +"That is precisely what you do not do. You know where he is. You put +him there. How can you say you found him?" + +"All right, I won't do it," said Mr. Middleton, abashed at Achmed's +reproof, a reproof his conscience told him was eminently deserved. + +"I thank Allah," said the prince, "that I am an Arab and not an +American. The fortunes of my line, its glories, were not won in the +vulgar pursuits of trade, in the chicanery of business, in the shady +paths of speculation, in the questionable manipulation of stocks and +bonds. It was not thus that the ancient houses of the nobility of +Europe and the Orient built up their honorable fortunes. Never did the +men of my house parley with their consciences, never did they strike a +truce with their knightly instincts in order to gain gold. Ah, no, +no," mused the prince, looking pensively up at the gaily decorated +ceiling as he reflected upon the glories of his line; "it was in the +noble profession of arms, the illustrious practice of warfare that we +won our honorable possessions. At the sacking of Medina, the third +prince of our house gained a goodly treasure of gold and precious +stones, and founded our fortune. In warfare with the Wahabees, we +acquired countless herds and the territories for them to roam upon. By +descents across the Red Sea into the realms of the Abyssinians, we +took hundreds of slaves. From the Dey of Aden we acquired one hundred +thousand sequins as the price of peace. In the sacking of the cities +of Hedjaz and Yemen and even the dominions of Oman, did we gallantly +gain in the perilous and honorable pursuit of war further store of +treasure. Ah, those were brave days, those days of old, those knightly +days of old! Faugh, I am out of tune with this vile commercial country +and this vile commercial age." + +The prince arose as he uttered these last words and in his rhapsody +forgetting the presence of Mr. Middleton, without a farewell he +stalked through the great apartment, absentmindedly, though gracefully +twirling a pair of pearl gray gloves in the long sensitive fingers of +his left hand. A little hush fell upon the brilliant assemblage and +many a bright eye dwelt admiringly upon the elegant person, so +elegantly attired, of the urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe +of Al-Yam. + +For some time Mr. Middleton sat plunged in abstraction, toying with +the three kinds of dessert he had ordered, as he meditated upon the +words of the emir. At last rousing himself, he had finished the +marrons glacées and was about to begin upon a Nesselrode pudding, when +he heard himself addressed, and looking up saw before him a young +woman of an exceedingly prepossessing appearance. She was richly +dressed with a quiet elegance that bespoke her a person of good taste. +Laughing, roguish eyes illuminated a piquant face in which were to be +seen good sense, ingenuousness and kindness, mingled with +self-reliance and determination. Mr. Middleton knew not whether to +admire her most for the beautiful proportions of her figure, the +loveliness of her face, or the fine mental qualities of which her +countenance gave evidence. With a delightful frankness in which there +was no hint of real or pretended embarrassment, she said: + +"Pray pardon this intrusion on the part of a total stranger. I have +particular reasons for desiring to know the name and station of the +gentleman who left you a short time ago, and knowing no one else to +ask, have resolved to throw myself upon your good nature. I will ask +of you not to require the reasons of me, assuring you that they are +perhaps not entirely unconnected with the welfare of this gentleman. I +observed from your manner toward one another that you were +acquaintances and that it was no chance conversation between +strangers. He is, I take it, an Italian." + +Without pausing to reflect that the emir might not be at all pleased +to have this young woman know of his identity, Mr. Middleton exclaimed +hastily and with a gesture of expostulation: + +"Oh, no! He is not a Dago," and then after a pause he remarked +impressively, "He is an Arab," and then after a still longer pause, he +said still more impressively, "He is the Emir Achmed Ben Daoud, +hereditary prince of the tribe of Al-Yam, which ranges on the borders +of that fertile and smiling region of Arabia known as Yemen, or Arabia +the Happy." + +"He is not a Dago!" said the young woman, clasping her hands with +delighted fervor. + +"He is not a Dago!" said another voice, and Mr. Middleton became aware +that at his back stood a second young woman scarcely less charming +than the first. "He is not a Dago!" she repeated, scarcely less +delighted than the first. + +Mr. Middleton arose and assumed an attitude which was at once +indicative of proper deference toward his fair questioners and enabled +him the better to feast his entranced eyes upon them. Moreover, on all +sides he observed that people were looking at them and he needed no +one to tell him that his conversation with these two daughters of the +aristocracy was causing the assemblage to regard him as an individual +of social importance. He gave the emir's address upon Clark Street and +after dwelling some time upon his graces of person and mind, related +how it was that this Eastern potentate was resident in the city of +Chicago in a comparatively humble capacity. + +"His brother is shut up in a vermillion tower." + +"Vermillion, did you say?" breathlessly asked the first young lady. + +"Oh, how romantic!" exclaimed the second young lady. "A tower of +vermillion! Is he good looking, like this one? Do you suppose he will +come here? Oh, Mildred, I must meet him. And the imam of Oman is going +to give the vermillion tower to the brother, when he is released. We +could send one of papa's whalebacks after it. What a lovely house on +Prairie Avenue it would make. 'The Towers,' we would call it. No, +'Vermillion Towers.' How lovely it would sound on a card, 'Wednesdays, +Vermillion Towers.' We must get him out. Can't we do it?" + +"If it were in this country," said Mr. Middleton, "I would engage to +get him out. I would secure a writ of habeas corpus, or devise other +means to speedily release him. But unfortunately, I am not admitted to +practice in the dominions of Oman. But I do not pity the young man. +One could well be willing to suffer incarceration in a tower of +vermillion, if he knew he were an object of solicitude to one so fair +as yourself. One could wear the gyves and shackles of the most +terrible tyranny almost in happiness, if he knew that such lovely eyes +grew moist over his fate and such beauteous lips trembled when they +told the tale of his imprisonment." + +Now such gallant speeches were all very well in the days of +knee-breeches and periwigs, but in this age and in Chicago, they are +an anachronism and the two young ladies started as if they had +suddenly observed that Mr. Middleton had on a low-cut vest, or his +trousers were two years behind the times, and somewhat curtly and +coolly making their adieus, they sailed rapidly away, leaving Mr. +Middleton--who was not the most obtuse mortal in the world--to +savagely fill with large pieces of banana pie the orifice whence had +lately issued the words which had cut short his colloquy with the two +beauties. He deeply regretted that in his association with Prince +Achmed he had fallen into a flowery and Oriental manner of speech and +resolved henceforth to eschew such fashion of discourse. + +The clocks were solemnly tolling the hour of midnight when Mr. +Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby rubbed his eyes and sat up in the +revolving chair in the main office of his suite. Mr. Middleton was +standing near, hastily putting away a razor. A warm odor lay on the +still air of the room. + +"Hello, isn't it daylight yet?" asked Mr. Brockelsby. The hot cakes +that had but lately been applied to his shaven crown, seemed to have +dispelled the fogs of intoxication and he was master of himself. + +"It is twelve o'clock," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Twelve! Why, it was three when I left the banquet table. Twelve!" + +"Twelve," said Mr. Middleton, pointing gravely to the clock on the +desk. + +"It--is--twelve. Don't tell me it is the day after." + +"I am compelled to do so. You were at the banquet of the Sons of +Andrew Jackson's Wars, twenty-four hours ago." + +"Great Scott!" exclaimed Mr. Brockelsby, thrusting his hands through +his hair, or rather making the motion of doing so. "Great Scott!" he +repeated, "I am bald-headed. What the devil have I been into? Where +the devil have I been?" + +"I found you here this morning. Your wife has been here." + +"Oh, lord! Oh, lord! What did she say when she saw me dead to the +world--and bald-headed?" + +"She did not see you. I had concealed you." + +"Good boy, good boy." + +"She offered me two hundred dollars reward to bring you home," and Mr. +Middleton related all that Mrs. Brockelsby had said. + +"It would be all off when she saw me bald-headed. What the devil +wouldn't she suspect? I don't know. I would say I didn't know where I +had been. That would certainly sound fishy. It would sound like a +preposterous excuse to cover up something pretty questionable. People +don't go out in good society and get their heads shaved. She's pretty +independent and uppish now. She said the next time she knew of me +cutting up any didoes, she would get a divorce. She comes into two +hundred thousand from her grandfather's estate in six months and she's +pretty independent. Say, my boy, can't you take a check for the money +she wants? She's going to Washington to-morrow. Tell her I went out of +town and sent the money. I _will_ go out of town. But the boys will +see my bald head. Where do you suppose I was? What sort of crowd was I +with? I must have a wig. You must get it for me. The boys would josh +me to death, and if the story got to my wife it would be all off. I'll +go to Battle Creek and get a new lot of hair started." + +Mr. Middleton sat down and wrote busily for a moment. He handed a +sheet of paper to Mr. Brockelsby. + +"What's this? You resign? You're not going to help me out?" + +"I am no longer in your employ. I will undertake to do all you ask of +me for a proper compensation, say one hundred and fifty a day for two +days." + +"What?" screamed Mr. Brockelsby. "This is robbery, extortion, +blackmail." + +"It is what you often charge yourself. Very well. Get your own wig and +be seen on the streets going after it. Leave your wife to wonder why I +do not come to report what progress is made in the search for you and +to start a rigorous investigation herself. I am under no obligations +not to ease her worry, to calm her disturbed mind by telling her I +have found you. She'll be hot foot after you then." + +"She'd spot the wig at once. It would fool others, but not her. She'd +see I had been jagged. You've got me foul. I'll have to accede to your +terms. You'll not give me away?" + +"Sir, I would not, in this, my first employment as an independent +attorney, be so derelict to professional honor, as to betray the +secrets of my client. We have chosen to call this three hundred +dollars--a check for which you will give me in advance--payment for +the services I am about to perform. In reality, I consider it only +part of what you owe for the miserably underpaid services of the past +three years." + +As Mr. Middleton wended his way homeward, it was with some melancholy +that he recalled how, on previous occasions when good fortune had +added to his stock of wealth, he had rejoiced in it because he saw his +dreams of marriage with the young lady of Englewood approaching +realization more and more. But now they had drifted apart. Not once +had he seen her since that fatal night. On several evenings he had +made the journey to Englewood and walked up and down before her house, +but not so much as her shadow on the curtain had he seen. Let her make +the first move toward a reconciliation. If she expected him to do so +after her treatment of him, she was sadly mistaken. + + + + +_The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud._ + + +Being curious to hear of the young ladies who had inquired concerning +the emir in the restaurant, and to learn what their connection with +that prince might be, Mr. Middleton repaired to the bazaar on Clark +Street on the succeeding night. But the emir was not in. Mesrour +apparently having experienced one of those curious mental lesions not +unknown in the annals of medicine, where a linguist loses all memory +of one or more of the languages he speaks, while retaining full +command of the others--Mesrour having experienced such a lesion, which +had, at least temporarily, deprived him of his command of the English +language, Mr. Middleton was unable to learn anything that he desired +to know, until bethinking himself of the fact that alcohol loosens the +thought centers and that by its agency Mesrour's atrophied brain cells +might be stimulated, revivified, and the coma dispelled, he made +certain signs intelligible to all races of men in every part of the +world and took the blackamore into a neighboring saloon, where, after +regaling him with several beers, he learned that only an hour before +an elegant turnout containing two young women, beautiful as houris, +had called for the emir and taken him away. + +"He done tole me that if I tole anybody whar he was gwine, he'd +bowstring me and feed mah flesh to the dawgs." + +Mr. Middleton shuddered as he heard this threat, so characteristically +Oriental. + +"Where _was_ he going?" he inquired with an air of profound +indifference and irrelevance, signalling for another bottle of beer. + +The blackamore silently drank the beer, a gin fizz, and two Scotch +high-balls, his countenance the while bearing evidence that he was +struggling with a recalcitrant memory. + +"'Deed, I doan' know, suh," said Mesrour finally. "He never done tole +me." + +Though Mr. Middleton called three times during the next week, he did +not find the emir in. Nor could Mesrour give any information +concerning his master's whereabouts. However, in the society news of +the Sunday papers, appeared at the head of several lists of persons +attendant upon functions, one A. B. D. Alyam, and this individual was +included among those at a small dinner given by Misses Mildred and +Gladys Decatur. As Mildred was the name of one of the young ladies who +had accosted him in the restaurant, Mr. Middleton felt quite certain +that this A. B. D. Alyam was none other than Achmed Ben Daoud, emir of +the tribe of Al-Yam. + +On the tenth day, Mesrour informed Mr. Middleton that the emir had +left word to make an appointment with him for seven o'clock on the +following evening, at which time Mr. Middleton came, to find the +accomplished prince sitting at a small desk made in Grand Rapids, +Michigan, engaged in the composition of a note which he was inscribing +upon delicate blue stationery with a gold mounted fountain pen. +Arising somewhat abruptly and offering his hand at an elevation in +continuity of the extension of his shoulder, the emir begged the +indulgence of a few moments and resumed his writing. He was arrayed in +a black frock coat and gray trousers and encircling his brow was a +moist red line that told of a silk hat but lately doffed. "Give the +gentleman a cup of tea," said he to Mesrour, looking up from the note, +which now completed, he was perusing with an air that indicated +satisfaction with its chirography, orthography, and literary style. At +last, placing it in an envelope and affixing thereto a seal, he turned +and ordering Mesrour to give Mr. Middleton another cup of tea, he +lighted a cigarette and began as follows: + +"This is the last time you will see me here. My lease expires +to-morrow and my experience as a retail merchant, in fact, as any sort +of merchant, is over. On this, the last evening that we shall meet in +the old familiar way, the story I have to relate to your indulgent +ears is of some adventures of my own, adventures which have had their +final culmination in a manner most delightful to me, and in which +consummation you have been an agent. Indeed, but for your friendship I +should not now be the happy man I am. Without further consuming time +by a preamble which the progress of the tale will render unnecessary, +I will proceed. + +"Last summer, I spent a portion of the heated term at Green Lake, +Wisconsin. I know that sentiment in this city is somewhat unequally +divided upon the question of the comparative charms of Green Lake and +Lake Geneva and that the former resort has not acquired a vogue equal +to that of the latter, but I must say I greatly prefer Green Lake. I +have never been at Lake Geneva, it is true, but nevertheless, I prefer +Green Lake. + +"The hotel where I stayed was very well filled and the manager was +enjoying a highly prosperous season. Yet though there were so many +people there I made no acquaintances in the first week of my sojourn. +Nor in the second week did I come to know more than three or four, and +they but slightly. I was, in truth, treated somewhat as an object of +suspicion, the cause of which I could not at first imagine. I was +newer to this country and its customs and costumes there a year ago. +Previous to starting for the lake, I had purchased of a firm of +clothiers farther up this street, Poppenheimer and Pappenheimer, a +full outfit for all occasions and sports incident upon a vacation at a +fashionable resort. I had not then learned that one can seldom make a +more fatal mistake than to allow a clothier or tailor to choose for +you. It is true that these gentry have in stock what persons of +refinement demand, but they also have fabrics and garments bizarre in +color and cut, in which they revel and carry for apparently no other +reason than the delectation of their own perverted taste, since they +seldom or never sell them. But at times they light upon some one whose +ignorance or easy-going disposition makes him a prey, and they send +him forth an example of what they call a well-dressed man. More +execrably dressed men than Poppenheimer and Pappenheimer and most of +the other parties in the clothing business, are seldom to be found in +other walks of life. In my ignorance of American customs, I entrusted +myself to their hands with the result that my garments were +exaggerated in pattern and style and altogether unsuited to my dark +complexion and slim figure. But in the wearing of these garments I +aggravated the original sartorial offence into a sartorial crime. With +my golf trousers and white ducks I wore a derby hat. For nearly a week +I wore with a shirt waist a pair of very broad blue silk suspenders +embroidered in red. All at once I awoke to a realization that the +others did not wear their clothes as I did and set myself to imitate +them with the result that my clothes were at least worn correctly. The +mischief was largely done, however, before this reform, and nothing I +could do would alter the cut and fabric. + +"My clothes were not the only drawbacks to my making acquaintances. I +was entirely debarred from a participation in the sports of the place. +I knew nothing of golf. A son of the desert, I could no more swim than +fly, and so far from being able to sail a boat, I cannot even manage a +pair of oars. I could only watch the others indulge in their +divertissements, a lonely and wistful outsider. + +"Yet despite all this, I could perceive that I was not without +interest to the young ladies. Partially as an object of amusement at +first, but not entirely that, even at first, for the sympathetic eyes +of some of them betrayed a gentle compassion. + +"Among the twenty or so young ladies at our hotel, were two who would +attract the attention and excite the admiration of any assemblage, two +sisters from Chicago, beautiful as houris. In face and figure I have +never seen their equal. Their cheeks were like the roses of Shiraz, +their teeth like the pearls of Ormuz, their eyes like the eyes of +gazelles of Hedjaz. Before beholding these damosels, I had never +realized what love was, but at last I knew, I fell violently in love +with them both. Never in my wildest moments had I thought to fall in +love with a daughter of the Franks. Nor had I contemplated an extended +stay in this land, and before my departure from Arabia I had begun to +negotiate for the formation of a harem to be in readiness against my +return. + +"But I soon began to entertain all these thoughts and to dally with +the idea of changing my religion, abhorrent as that idea was. At first +I had been comforted by the thought that I was in love with both girls +in orthodox Moslem style. But reflecting that I could never have both, +that they would never come to me, that I must go to them, becoming +renegade to my creed, I tried to decide which I loved best. I came to +a decision without any extended thinking. I was in love with Miss +Mildred, the elder of the two sisters Decatur, daughters of one of +Chicago's wealthy men, and this question settled, there remained the +stupendous difficulty of winning her. For I did not even possess the +right to lift my hat to these young ladies. My affair certainly +appeared quite hopeless. + +"In the last week of August, an Italian and his wife encamped upon the +south shore of the lake with a small menagerie, if a camel, a bear, +and two monkeys can be dignified by so large a title. He was +accustomed to make the rounds of the hotels and cottages on alternate +days, one day mounted on the dromedary and strumming an Oriental lute, +on the others playing a Basque bagpipe while his bear danced, or +proceeding with hand-organ and monkeys. He had been a soldier in the +Italian colony of Massowah on the Red Sea, where he had acquired the +dromedary--which was the most gigantic one I have ever seen--and a +smattering of Arabic. English he had none, his wife serving as his +interpreter in that tongue. + +"The sight of the camel was balm to my eyes. Not only was it agreeable +to me to see one of that race of animals so characteristic of my +native land, but here at last was a form of recreation opened to me. I +hired the camel on the days when the Italian was not using him and +went flying about all over the country. Little did I suspect that I +thereby became associated with the Italian in the minds of the public +and that presently they began to believe that I, too, was an Italian +and the real owner of the menagerie, employing Baldissano to manage it +for me while I lived at my ease at the hotel. I was heard conversing +with the Italian, and of course nobody suspected that I was talking to +him in Arabic. It was a tongue unknown to them all and they chose to +consider it Italian. Moreover, one Ashton Hanks, a member of the +Chicago board of trade, at the hotel for the season, had said to the +menagerie, jerking his thumb interrogatively at me, as I was busied in +the background with the camel, 'Italiano? Italiano?' To which +Baldissano replied, 'Si, signor,' meaning 'yes,' thinking of course +that Hanks meant him. 'Boss? Padrone?' said Hanks again, and again the +answer was, 'Si, signor.' + +"So here I was, made out to be an Italian and the owner of a miserable +little menagerie which I employed a minion to direct, while myself +posing as a man of substance and elegant leisure. Here I was, already +proven a person of atrocious taste in dress, clearly proclaimed of no +social standing, of unknown and suspicious antecedents, a vulgarian +pretender and interloper. But of course I didn't know this at the +time. + +"I was riding past the front of the hotel on the camel one day at a +little before the noon hour, when I beheld her whom I loved overcome +by keen distress and as she was talking rather loudly, I could not but +be privy to what she said. + +"'Oh, dear,' she exclaimed, clasping her hands in great worriment, +'what shall I do, what shall I do! Here I am, invited to go on a sail +and fish-fry on Mr. Gannett's yacht, and I have no white yachting +shoes to wear with my white yachting dress. I've just got to wear that +dress, for I brought only two yachting dresses and the blue one is at +the laundry. I thought I put a pair of white shoes in my trunk, but I +didn't; I haven't time to send to Ripon for a pair. I won't wear black +shoes with that dress. But how will I get white ones?' + +"'Through my agency,' said I from where I sat on the back of the +camel. + +"'Oh,' said she, with a little start at my unexpected intrusion, her +face lighting with a sudden hope, nevertheless. 'Were you going to +Ripon and will you be back before one-thirty? Are you perfectly +willing to do this errand for me?' + +"'I am going to Ripon,' I said, 'and nothing will please me more than +to execute any commission you may entrust to me. This good steed will +carry me the six miles and back before it is time to sail. They seldom +sail on the time set, I have observed.' + +"She brought me a patent-leather dancing shoe to indicate the desired +size, and away I went, secured the shoes, and turned homeward. While +skirting a large hill that arises athwart the sky to the westward of +the city of Ripon, I was startled by a weird, portentous, moaning cry +from my mount. Ah, its import was only too well known to me. Full many +a time had I heard it in the desert. It was the cry by which the +camels give warning of the coming of a storm. While yet the eye and +ear of man can detect no signs whatever of the impending outburst of +nature's forces and the earth is bathed in the smiles of the sky, the +camels, by some subtle, unerring instinct, prognosticate the storm. + +"I looked over the whole firmament. Not a cloud in sight. A soft +zephyr and a mellow sun glowing genially through a slight autumnal +haze. Not a sign of a storm, but the camel had spoken. I dismounted at +once. I undid the package of shoes. From my pocket I took a small +square bit of stone of the cubical contents of a small pea. It was cut +from the side of the cave where Mohammed rested during the Hegira, or +flight of Mohammed, with which date we begin our calendar. This bit of +stone was reputed to be an efficacious amulet against dangers of +storms, and also a charm against suddenly falling in love. I placed it +in the toe of the right shoe. Unbeknownst to her, Mildred would be +protected against these dangers. I could not hope to dissuade her from +the voyage by telling her of the camel's forewarning. Ashton Hanks was +to be one of the yachting party and he had shown evidences of a tender +regard for her. Retying the package, it was not long before I had +placed it in the hands of Mildred. With a most winsome smile she +thanked me and ran in to don the new purchases. + +"The boat set sail and I watched it glide westward over the sparkling +waves, toward the lower end of the lake, watching for an hour until it +had slipped behind some point and was lost to sight. Then I scanned +the heavens to see if the storm I knew must come would break before it +was time for the yachting party to return. Low on the northern horizon +clouds were mustering, their heads barely discernible above the rim of +the world. But for the camel's warning I would not have seen them. The +storm was surely coming. By six o'clock, or thereabouts, it would +burst. The party was to have its fish-fry at six, at some point on the +south shore. On the south shore would be the wreck, if wreck there was +to be. + +"With no definite plan, no definite purpose, save to be near my love +in the threatening peril, I set out for the south shore. By water, it +is from a mile and a half to three miles across Green Lake. By land, +it is many times farther. From road to road of those parallel with the +major axis of the lake, it is four miles at the narrowest, and it is +three miles from the end of the lake before you reach the first north +and south road connecting the parallels. Ten miles, then, after you +leave the end of the lake on the side where the hotels are, before you +are at the end on the other side. And then thirteen miles of shore. + +"So what with the distance and the time I had spent watching the +shallop that contained my love pass from my field of vision the +afternoon had far waned when I had reached the opposite shore, and +when I had descended to the beach at a point where I had thought I +might command the most extensive view and discover the yacht, if it +had begun to make its way homeward, the light of day had given place +to twilight. But not the twilight of imminent night, the twilight of +the coming tempest. For the brewing of a fearful storm had now some +time been apparent. A hush lay on the land. A candle flame would have +shot straight upward. Nature waited, silently cowering. + +"To the northward advanced, in serried columns of black, the beetling +clouds that were turning the day into night, the distant booming of +aërial artillery thundering forth the preluding cannonade of the +charge. Higher and higher into the firmament shot the front of the +advancing ranks in twisting curls of inky smoke, yet all the while the +mass dropped nearer and nearer to the earth and the light of day +departed, save where low down in the west a band of pale gold lay +against the horizon, color and nothing more, as unglowing as a yellow +streak in a painted sunset. Against this weird, cold light, I saw a +naked mast, and then a sail went creaking up and I heard voices. They +had been shortening sail. By some unspent impulse of the vanished +wind, or the impact of the waves still rolling heavily and glassily +from a recent blow, the yacht was still progressing and came moving +past me fifty or sixty feet from shore. + +"I heard the voices of women expressing terror, begging the men to do +something. Danger that comes in the dark is far more fearsome than +danger which comes in the light. I heard the men explaining the +impossibility of getting ashore. For two miles on this coast, a line +of low, but unscalable cliffs rose sheer from the water's edge, +overhanging it, in fact, for the waves had eaten several feet into the +base of the cliffs. To get out and stand in front of these cliffs was +to court death. The waves of the coming storm would either beat a man +to death against the rocks, or drown him, for the water was four feet +deep at the edge of the cliffs and the waves would wash over his head. +For two miles, I have said, there was a line of cliffs on this coast, +for two miles save just where I stood, the only break, a narrow rift +which, coinciding with a section line, was the end of a road coming +down to the water. They could not see this rift in the dusk, perhaps +were ignorant of its existence and so not looking for it. + +"The voices I had heard were all unfamiliar and it was not until the +yacht had drifted past me that I was apprised it was indeed the craft +I sought by hearing the voice of Mildred saying, with an assumed +jocularity that could not hide the note of fear: + +"'What will _I_ do? All the other girls have a man to save them. I am +the extra girl.' + +"I drove my long-legged steed into the water after the boat none too +soon, for the whistling of a premonitory gust filled the air. Quickly +through the water strode the camel, and, with his lariat in my hand, I +plumped down upon the stern overhang just as the mainsail went +slatting back and forth across the boat and everybody was ducking his +head. In the confusion, nobody observed my arrival. + +"'She's coming about,' cried the voice of the skipper, Gannett. 'A few +of these gusts would get us far enough across to be out of danger from +the main storm.' + +"But she did not come about. I could feel the camel tugging at the +lariat as the swerving of the boat jerked him along, but presently the +strain ceased, for the boat lay wallowing as before. Again a fitful +gust, again the slatting of the sail, the skipper put his helm down +hard, the boat put her nose into the wind, hung there, and fell back. + +"'She won't mind her helm!' + +"'She won't come about!' + +"'She acts as if she were towing something, were tied to something!' + +"'What's that big rock behind there? Who the devil is this? And how +the devil did he get here?' + +"In the midst of these excited and alarmed exclamations came the +solemn, portentous voice of the camel tolling out in the unnatural +night the tocsin of the approaching hurricane. + +"'It's the Dago!' cried Gannett, examining me by the fleeting flash of +a match. 'It's his damned camel towing behind that won't let us come +about. Pitch him overboard!' + +"'Oh, save me!' appealed Mildred. + +"There she had been, sitting just in front of me and I hadn't known it +was she. It was not strange that she had faith that I who had arrived +could also depart. + +"'Selim,' I called, pulling the camel to the boat. I had never had a +name for him before, but it was high time he had one, so now I named +him. 'Selim,' and there the faithful beast was and with Mildred in my +arms, I scrambled on to his back and urged him toward the rift in the +wall of cliff. + +"As if I had spurned it with my foot, the boat sprang away behind us, +a sudden rushing blast filling her sails and laying her almost over, +and then she was out of our sight, into the teeth of the tempest, +yelling, screaming, howling with a hundred voices as it darted from +the sky and laid flat the waves and then hurled them up in a mass of +stinging spray. + +"In fond anticipation, I had dwelt upon the homeward ride with +Mildred. A-camelback, I was, as it were, upon my native heath, master +of myself, assured, and at ease. I had planned to tell her of my love, +plead my cause with Oriental fervor and imagery, but before we reached +shore the tempest was so loud that she could not have heard me unless +I had shouted, and I had no mind to bawl my love. Worse still, when +once we were going across the wind and later into it, I could not open +my mouth at all. We reached the hotel and on its lee side I lifted her +down to the topmost of the piazza steps. I determined not be delayed +longer. If ever there was to be a propitious occasion, it was now when +I had rescued her from encompassing peril. I retained hold of her +hand. She gave me a glance in which was at least gratitude, and I +dared hope, something more, and I was about to make my declaration, +when she made a little step, her right foot almost sunk under her and +she gave an agonized cry and hobbling, limping, hopping on one foot, +passed from me across the piazza to the stairs leading to the second +story, whither she ascended upon her hands and knees. + +"That wretched stone from the cavern where Mahommed slept in the +Hegira! How many times during the day had she wanted to take her shoe +off? She would ascertain the cause of her torment, she would lay it to +me. It had indeed been an amulet against sudden love. I was the man +whose love it had forefended. + +"'Gannett's yacht went down and all aboard of her were drowned,' said +one of the bellboys to me. 'Everybody in the hotel is feeling +dreadful.' + +"'How do you know they are drowned?' + +"'Everybody in the hotel says so. I don't know how they found out.' + +"'What's that at the pier?' said I. + +"The lights at the end of the pier shone against a white expanse of +sail and there was a yacht slowly making a landing. + +"Someone came and stood for a moment in an open window above me and +there floated out the voice of one of the sisters Decatur, but which +one, I could not tell. Their voices were much alike and I had not +heard either of them speak very often. + +"'Do you think that one ought to marry a person who rescues her from +death, when he happens to be a Dago and cheap circus man into the +bargain? I certainly do not.' + +"Which one was it? Which one was it? Imagine my feelings, torn with +doubt, perplexity, and sorrow. Was it Mildred, replying scornfully to +some opinion of her sister, or was it the sister taking Mildred to +task for saying she wished or ought to marry me? How was I to know? +Could I run the risk of asking the girls themselves?" + +The emir paused, and it was plain to be seen from the workings of his +countenance that once more he was living over this unhappy episode. + +"I can well imagine your feelings and sympathize with them," said Mr. +Middleton. "There you sat in the encircling darkness, asking yourself +with no hope of an answer, 'Was it Mildred? Was it her sister? Was it +Mildred contemptuously repudiating the idea of marriage with me, or +the sister haughtily scoffing at some sentiments just professed by +Mildred? But I should not have spent too long a time asking how I was +to know. I should put the matter to the test and had it out with +Mildred, Miss Mildred, I should say." + +The emir looked steadily at Mr. Middleton. There was surprise, +annoyance, perhaps even vexation in his gaze. With incisive tones, he +said: + +"How could you so mistake me? Ours is a line whose lineage goes back +twelve hundred years, a noble and unsullied line. Could I, sir, think +of making my wife, making a princess of my race, a woman who could +entertain the thought of stooping to marry a Dago cheap circus man? +Suppose I had gone to Mildred and had asked her if she had expressed +herself of such a demeaning declaration? Suppose she had said, 'Yes,' +then there I would have been, compromised, caught in an entanglement +from which as a man of honor, I could not withdraw. The only thing to +do was to keep silence. The risk was too great, I resolved to leave on +the morrow. For the first time did I learn that I was believed to be a +Dago and the proprietor of the little menagerie. This strengthened my +resolve to leave. + +"I left. Your happy encounter with the young ladies in the restaurant +changed all. They learned from you that I was their social equal. They +looked me up and apologized for their apparent lack of appreciation of +my services and explained that they thought me a Dago circus man. I +learned that neither of them believed in a mesalliance, that the +question I had heard was a rhetorical question merely, one not +expecting an answer, much used by orators to express a strong negation +of the sentiments apparently contained in the question. But I have not +yet learned which girl it was who asked the question. It is entirely +immaterial and I don't think I shall try to find out, even after I am +married, for of course you have surmised I am to be married, to be +married to Mildred." + +"Yes, another American heiress marries a foreign nobleman," said Mr. +Middleton, with a bitterness that did not escape the emir. + +"Permit me to correct a popular fallacy," said the emir. "Nothing +could be more erroneous than the prevalent idea that American girls +marry foreign noblemen because attracted by the glitter of rank, +holding their own plain republican citizens in despite. Sir, it takes +a title to make a foreigner equal to American men in the eyes of +American women. A British knight may compete with the American mister, +but when you cross the channel, nothing less than a count will do in a +Frenchman, a baron in the line of a German, while, for a Russian to +receive any consideration, he must be a prince. + +"And now," said the emir, "my little establishment here being about to +be broken up, I am going to ask you to accept certain of my effects +which for sundry reasons I cannot take with me to my new abode. My +jewels, hangings, and costumes, my wife will like, of course. But as +she is opposed to smoking, there are six narghilehs and four +chibouques which I will never use again. As I am about to unite with +the Presbyterian church this coming Sunday, it might cause my wife +some disquietude and fear of backsliding, were I to retain possession +of my eight copies of the Koran. She may be wise there," said the emir +with a sigh. "If perchance you should embrace the true faith and +thereby make compensation for the loss of a member occasioned by my +withdrawal----" + +"That would not even matters up," interrupted Mr. Middleton, "for I am +not a Presbyterian, but a Methodist." + +"Oh," said the emir. "Well, there are five small whips of rhinoceros +hide and two gags. My wife will not wish me to keep those, nor a +crystal casket containing twenty-seven varieties of poisons. Then +there are other things that you might have use for and I have not. I +have sent for a cab and Mesrour will stow the things in it." + +At that moment the cab was heard without and Mesrour began to load it +with the gifts of the emir. At length he ceased his carrying and stood +looking expectantly. With an air of embarrassment, and clearing his +throat hesitatingly, the emir addressed Mr. Middleton. + +"There is one last thing I am going to ask you to take. I cannot call +it a gift. I can look upon your acceptance of it in no other light +than a very great service. Some time ago, when marriage in this +country was something too remote to be even dreamed of, I sent home +for an odalisque." + +The emir paused and looked obliquely at Mr. Middleton, as if to +observe the effect of this announcement. That excellent young man had +not the faintest idea what an odalisque might be, but he had ever made +it a point when strange and unknown terms came up, to wait for +subsequent conversation to enlighten him directly or by inference as +to their meaning. In this way he saved the trouble of asking questions +and, avoiding the reputation of being inquisitive and curious, gained +that of being well informed upon and conversant with a wide range of +subjects. So he looked understandingly at the emir and remarking +approvingly, "good eye," the emir continued, much encouraged. + +"To a lonely man such as I then was, the thought of having an +odalisque about, was very comforting. Lonely as I then was, an +odalisque would have afforded a great deal of company." + +"That's right," said Mr. Middleton. "Why, even cats are company. The +summer I was eighteen, everybody in our family went out to my +grandfather's in Massachusetts, and I stayed home and took care of the +house. I tell you, I'd been pretty lonely if it hadn't been for our +two cats." + +"But now I am going to be married and my wife would not think of +tolerating an odalisque about the house. She simply would not have it. +The odalisque arrived last night, and I am in a great quandary. I +could not think of turning the poor creature out perhaps to starve." + +"That's right," said Mr. Middleton. "Some persons desiring to dispose +of a cat, will carry it off somewhere and drop it, thinking that more +humane than drowning it. But I say, always drown a cat, if you wish to +get rid of it." + +"Now I have thought that you, being without a wife to object, might +take this burden off my hands. I will hand you a sum sufficient for +maintenance during a considerable period and doubtless you can, as +time goes on, find someone else who wants an odalisque, or discover +some other way of disposal, in case you tire----" + +"Send her along," said Mr. Middleton, cordially and heartily. "If +worst comes to worst, there's an old fellow I know who sells parrots +and cockatoos and marmosets, and perhaps he'd like an odalisque." + +"I will send her," said the emir. + +"So it's a she," quoth Mr. Middleton to himself. He had used the +feminine in the broad way that it is applied indefinitely to ships, +railways trains, political parties etc., etc., with no thought of +fitting a fact. + +"I will give you fifteen hundred dollars for her maintenance. Having +brought her so far, I feel a responsibility----" + +"But that is such a large sum. I really wouldn't need so much----" + +"That is none too large," rejoined the emir. "I wish her to be treated +well and I believe you will do it. At first, she will not understand +anything you say to her, of course, but she will soon learn what you +mean. The tone, as much as the words, enlightens, and I think you will +have very little trouble in managing her." + +"Is there a cage?" hazarded Mr. Middleton, "or won't I need one?" + +"Lock her in a room, if you are afraid she will run away, though such +a fear is groundless. Or if you wish to punish her, the rhinoceros +whips would do better than a cage. A cage is so large and I could +never see any advantage in it. But you will probably never have +occasion to use even a whip. You will have but this one odalisque. Had +you two or three, they might get to quarreling among themselves and +you might have use for a whip. But toward you, she will be all +gentleness, all submission." + +Mr. Middleton and the emir then turned to the counting and accounting +of the fifteen hundred dollars, and so occupied, the lawyer missed +seeing Mesrour pass with the odalisque and did not know she had been +put in the hack until the emir had so apprised him. + +"She is in a big coffee sack," said the emir. "The meshes of the +fabric are sufficiently open to afford her ample facility for +breathing, and yet she can't get out. Then, too, it will simplify +matters when you get to your lodgings. You will not have to lead her +and urge her, frightened and bewildered by so much moving about, but +pack her upon your back in the bag and carry her to your room with +little trouble. + +"And now," continued the emir, grasping Mr. Middleton's hands warmly, +"for the last time do I give you God-speed from this door. I will not +disguise my belief that our intimacy has in a measure come to an end. +As a married man, I shall not be so free as I have been. I am no +longer in need of seeking out knowledge of strange adventures. The +tyrannical imam of Oman, who imprisoned my brother, is dead, and his +successor, commiserating the poor youth's sorrows, has not only +liberated him, but given him the vermillion edifice of his +incarceration. This my brother intends to transmute into gold, for he +has hit upon the happy expedient of grinding it up into a face powder, +a rouge, beautiful in tint and harmless in composition, for the rock +was quarried in one of the most salubrious locations upon the upper +waters of the great river Euphrates. I trust I shall sometimes see you +at our place, where I am sure I shall be joined in welcoming you by +Mrs.--Mrs.--well, to tell the truth," said the emir in some slight +confusion, "I don't know what her name will be, for it is obviously +out of the question to call her Mrs. Achmed Ben Daoud, and she objects +to the tribal designation of Alyam, which I had temporarily adopted +for convenience's sake, as ineuphonious." + +"Sir, friend and benefactor, guiding lamp of my life, instructor of my +youth and moral exemplar," said Mr. Middleton, in the emotion of the +moment allowing his speech an Oriental warmth which the cold +self-consciousness of the Puritan would have forbade, had he been +addressing a fellow American, "I cannot tell you the advantages that +have flowed from my acquaintance with you. It was indeed the turning +point of my life. The pleasure I will leave untouched upon, as I must +alike on the present occasion, the profits. Let me briefly state that +they foot up to $3760. A full accounting of how they accrued, would +consume the rest of the night, and so it must be good-bye." + +As Mr. Middleton looked back for the last time upon that hospitable +doorway, he saw the gigantic figure of Mesrour silhouetted against the +dim glow beyond and there solemnly boomed on the night air, the Arabic +salutation, "Salaam aleikoom." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of the +Emir._ + + +Getting into the hack and settling into the sole remaining vacant +space Mesrour had left in loading the vehicle with the emir's gifts, +Mr. Middleton was so preoccupied by a gloomy dejection as he reflected +that a most agreeable, not to say inspiring and educating, intimacy +was at last ended, that he reached his lodgings and had begun to +unload his new possessions, before he thought of the odalisque. There +lay the coffee sack lengthwise on the front seat and partially +reclining against the side of the carriage. He was greatly surprised +at the size of the unknown creature and began to surmise that it was +an anthropoid ape, though before his speculations had ranged from +parrots through dogs to domesticated leopards. Leaving the coffee sack +until the last, he gingerly seized the slack of the top of the bag and +proceeded to pull it upon his shoulders, taking care to avoid holding +the creature where it could kick or struggle effectually, for despite +all the emir had told him of the gentleness of the odalisque, he was +resolved to take no chances. Whatever the creature was, she had slid +down, forming a limp lump at the end of the bag, when he charily +deposited it on the floor and turned to consult his dictionary before +untying it. He was going to know what the creature was before he dealt +with her further, a creature so large as that. + +_Odalisque._ A slave or concubine in a Mohammedan harem!! + +A woman!!! + +Mr. Middleton tore at the string by which the bag was tied, full of +the keenest self-reproach. The uncomfortable position during the long +ride, the worse position in which she now lay. The knots refused to +budge and snatching a knife, with a mighty slashing, he ripped the bag +all away and disclosed the slender form of a woman crouched, huddled, +collapsed, face downward, head upon her knees. Turning her over and +supporting her against his breast in a sitting posture, Mr. Middleton +looked upon the most loveliness, unhappiness, and helplessness he had +ever beheld. + +For a moment his heart almost stopped as he looked into the still +face, but he saw the bosom faintly flutter, slow tears oozed out from +under the long lashes of the closed lids, and the cupid's bow mouth +gave little twitches of misery and hopelessness. With what exquisite +emotions was he filled as he looked down upon the head pillowed upon +his breast, with what sentiments of anger, with what noble chivalry! + +A Moslem woman. A Moslem woman, who even in the best estate of her sex +as free and a wife, goes to her grave like a dog, with no hope of a +life beyond, unless her husband amid the joys of Paradise should turn +his thoughts back to earth and wish for her there among his houris. +But this poor sweet flower had not even this faint expectation, for +she was no wife nor could be, slave of a Mohammedan harem. No rights +in this world nor the next. Not even the attenuated rights which law +and custom gave the free woman. No sustaining dream of a divine +recompense for the unmerited unhappiness of this existence. A slave, a +harem slave, wanted only when she smiled, was gay, and beautiful; who +must weep alone and in silence, in silence, with never a sympathetic +shoulder to weep upon after they sold her from her mother's side. Tied +in a bag, going she knew not whither, thrown in a carriage like so +much carrion, in these indignities she only wept in silence, for her +lord, the man, must not be discomposed. Like the timorous, helpless +wild things of the woods whose joys and sorrows must ever be voiceless +lest the bloody tyrants of their domain come, who even in the crunch +of death hold silence in their weak struggles, this poor young thing +bore her sufferings mutely, for her lord, the man, must not be +discomposed, choking her very breath lest a sob escape. Mr. Middleton, +in a certain illuminating instinct which belongs to women but only +occasionally comes to some men, saw all this in a flash without any +pondering and turning over and reflecting and comparing, and he said +to himself under his breath, not eloquently, but well, as there came +home to him the heinousness of that abhorrant social system dependent +upon the religious system of the Prophet of Mecca, "Damn the emir and +Mohammed and the whole damned Mohammedan business, kit and boodle!" + +In this imprecation there was a piece of grave injustice which Mr. +Middleton would not have allowed himself in calmer mood, for the emir +was about to become a member of one of the largest and most +fashionable Presbyterian congregations in the city and ought not to +have been included in an anathema of Moslemry and condemned for +anything he upheld while in the benighted condition of Mohammedanism. + +Mr. Middleton continuing to gaze, as who could not, upon that +beautiful unhappy face, suddenly he imprinted upon the quivering lips +a kiss in which was the tender sympathy of a mother, the heartening +encouragement of a friend, and the ardent passion of a lover. The +odalisque opened her lovely hazel eyes and _seeing_ corroboration of +all the _touch_ of the kiss had told her, as she looked into eyes that +brimmed with tears like hers, upon lips that quivered like hers, she +let loose the flood gates of her woes in a torrent of sobs and tears, +and throwing herself upon his shoulders, poured out her long pent +sorrows in a good cry. + +It was only a summer shower and the sun soon shone. She did not weep +long. Too filled with wonder and surpassing delight was this daughter +of the Orient in her first experience with the chivalry of the +Occident. She must needs look again at this man whose eyes had welled +full in compassion for her. She would court again his light and +soothing caresses, his gentle ministrations, so different from the +brutal pawing of the male animals of her own race, the moiety with +souls. Ah, how poignantly sweet, how amazing, that which to her +American sisters was the usual, the commonplace, the everyday! + +She raised her head. Her tears no longer flowed, but her lips still +quivered, in a pleading little smile; and her bosom still fluttered, +in a shy and doubting joy, and in her mind floated a half-formed +prayer that the genii whose craft had woven this rapturous dream, +would not too soon dispel it. + +Mr. Middleton gazed at her. He had never seen a face like that, so +perfectly oval; never such vermillion as showed under the dusk of her +cheeks and stained the lips, narrow, but full. What wondrous eyes were +those, so large and lustrous, illumining features whose basal lines of +classic regularity were softly tempered into a fluent contour. A +circlet of gold coins bound her brow, shining in bright relief against +the luxuriant masses of chestnut hair. A delicate and slender figure +had she, yet well cushioned with flesh and no bones stood out in her +bare neck. + +Moved not by his own discomfort on the hard floor, but by the possible +discomfort of the odalisque, Mr. Middleton at length raised her and +conducted her to a red plush sofa obtained by the landlady for soap +wrappers and a sum of money, which having turned green in places and +therefore become no longer suitable for a station in the parlor, had +been placed in this room a few days before. Upon this imposing article +of furniture the two sat down, and though at first Mr. Middleton did +no more than place his arm gently and reassuringly about the girl's +waist and hold her hand lightly, in the natural evolution, +progression, and sequence of events, following the rules of contiguity +and approach--rhetorical rules, but not so here--before long the cheek +of the fair Arab lay against that of the son of Wisconsin and her arm +was about his neck and every little while she uttered a little sigh of +complete, of unalloyed content. What had been yesterday, what might be +to-morrow, she was now happy. As for Mr. Middleton, what a stream of +delicious thoughts, delicious for the most part because of their +unselfishness and warm generosity, flowed through his head. What a joy +it would be to make happy the path of this girl who had been so +unhappy, to lay devotion at the feet of her who had never dreamed +there was such a thing in the world, to bind himself the slave of her +who had been a slave. + +Then, too, he luxuriated in the simple, elementary joy of possession +and the less elementary joy of possession of new things, whether new +hats, new clothes, new books, new horses, new houses, or new girls, +and which is the cause why so many of us have new girls and new beaux. +And when he looked ahead and saw only one logical termination of the +episode, he swelled with a pride that was honest and unselfish, as he +thought how all would look and admire as he passed with this lovely +woman, his wife. + +He could have sat thus the whole night through, but the girl must be +tired, worn by the sufferings of this day and many before. He motioned +toward the bed and indicated by pantomime that she should go to it. +She would have descended to her knees and with her damask lips brushed +the dust from his shoes, if she had thought he wished it, but she knew +not what he meant by his gesturing and sat bewildered in eager and +anxious willingness. So arranging the bed for her occupancy, he took +her in his arms and bore her to it and dropped her in. The riotous +blushes chased each other across her cheeks as she lay there with eyes +closed, so sweet, so helpless, so alone. + +For a little season he stood there gazing, gloating, enravished, like +to hug himself in the keen titillation of his ecstasy and this was not +all because this lovely being was his, but because he was hers. + +Glancing about the room preliminarily to leaving, and wondering what +further was to be done for the girl's comfort and peace of mind, he +bethought him of an ancient tale he had once read. In this narration, +fate having made it unavoidable that a noble lord should pass the +night in a castle tower with a fair dame of high degree and there +being but one bed in the apartment, he had placed a naked sword in the +middle of the bed between them and so they passed the night, guarded +and menaced by the falchion, for the nonce become the symbol of bright +honor and cold virtue. Mr. Middleton had often wondered why the knight +did not sleep on the floor, or outside the door, as he himself now +intended doing. But it occurred to him that some such symbol might +reassure the Arab damosel and having no sword, he drew one of the +large pistols the emir had given him and approached the bed to lay it +there. + +The girl's eyes had now opened and Mr. Middleton started as he beheld +her face. Once more the hunted, helpless look it had worn when first +he had looked on it. But more. Such an utter fear and sickening unto +death. But not fear, terror for herself. Fear for the death of an +ideal, a fear caused by her misinterpretation of his intent with the +pistol. It had not been real, it had not been real. He was as other +men, the men of her world and all the world was alike and life not +worth living. With a finesse he had not suspected he possessed, he +laid the pistol on a pile of legal papers on a table at the bed's +head, a pile whose sheets a suddenly entering breeze was whirling +about the room. How obvious it was he had brought the pistol for a +paper weight. Once more the girl was smiling as he drew the clothes +over her, all dressed as she was, and kissing shut her drowsy eyes, he +left her in her virginal couch. + +On the mat before the door in the hallway without, he disposed himself +as comfortably as he could. With due regard for the romantic +proprieties, he tried to keep within the bounds of the mat. But it was +too short, his curled up position too uncomfortable, and so he +overflowed it and could scarcely be said to be sleeping on the mat. It +was too late to arouse the landlady and although he was there by +choice, it could not have been otherwise. + +After snatches of broken sleep, after dreams waking and dreams +sleeping, which were all alike and of one thing and indistinguishable, +he was at length fully awake at a little before six and aware of an +odor of tobacco smoke. Applying his nose to the crack of the door, he +finally became convinced that it came from his room. Wondering what it +could possibly mean, and accordingly opening the door, opening it so +slowly and gradually that the odalisque could have ample time to seek +the cover of the bed clothes, he stepped in. + +There sat the odalisque on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, puffing +away at his big meerschaum, blowing clouds that filled the room. On +the table lay an empty cigarette box that had been full the night +before. This had not belonged to Mr. Middleton, who was not a +cigarette smoker and despised the practice, but had been forgotten by +Chauncy Stackelberg on a recent visit. The fingers of her right hand +were stained yellow, not by the cigarettes of that one box, but the +unnumbered cigarettes of years. Mr. Middleton had not noticed these +fingers the night before, but had been absorbed by her face, and this +as beautiful, as piquant, as bewitching as before, looked up at him, +the lips puckered, waiting, longing. + +He stood there, stock-still, stern, troubled, dismayed. + +She moved over, where she sat on the edge of the bed, with mute +invitation, and Mr. Middleton continuing to stand and stare, she moved +again and yet again, until she was against the headboard. And still he +did not sit beside her, thinking all the time of the young lady of +Englewood whose pure Puritan lips never had been and never could be +defiled by cigarettes and tobacco. The young lady of Englewood, the +young lady of Englewood, what a jewel of women was she and what a fool +he had been and how unkind and inconsiderate! Recalled by a little +snuffle from the odalisque, he saw the puckered lips were relaxing +sorrowfully and fearing the girl would cry, he hastily sat down beside +her and put his right arm about her. But he did not take the shapely +hand that now laid down the meerschaum, and though her head fell on +his shoulder and her breath came and went with his, he did not kiss +her, for that breath was laden with tobacco. Nor did his fingers stray +through those masses of silken hair, for he was sure they were full of +the fumes of tobacco. There with his arm about the soft, uncorsetted +form of that glorious beauty, her own white forearm smooth and cool +about his neck, he was thinking of the young lady of Englewood. + +Poor odalisque! Why cannot he speak to you and tell you? You would +wash away those yellow stains with your own blood, if you thought he +wished it. Forego tobacco? Why, you would cease to inhale the breath +of life itself, for his sake. + +Out of the grave came all the dead Puritan ancestors of Mr. Middleton, +a long procession back to Massachusetts Bay. The elders of Salem who +had ordained that a man should not smoke within five miles of a house, +the lawgivers who had prescribed the small number, brief length, and +sad color of ribbons a woman might wear and who forbade a man to kiss +his wife on Sunday, all these righteous and uncomfortable folk stirred +in Mr. Middleton's blood and obsessed him. + +Fatima, Nouronhor, or whatever your name might be, my fair Moslem, why +did fate throw you in with a Puritan? Yet I wot that had it been one +from a strain of later importation from Europe, you had not been so +safe there last night. The Puritans may be disagreeable, but they are +safe, safe. + +Part of this Mr. Middleton was saying over and over to himself--the +latter part. The Puritans are safe. The young lady of Englewood was +safe. She was good, she was beautiful, too, in her calm, sweet, +Puritan way. He must see her at once, he would go---- A sigh, not +altogether of content, absolute and complete, recalled to him the +woman pressed against his side. She must be taken care of, disposed +of. Asylum? No. Factory? No, no. Theater, museum? No, no, no. He would +find some man to marry her. There must be someone, lots of men, in +fact, who would marry a girl so lovely, who needn't find out she +smoked until after marriage, or who would not care anyway. All this +might take time. He would be as expeditious as possible, however. He +called Mrs. Leschinger, the landlady, and entrusting the girl to her +care, departed to visit a matrimonial agency he knew of. + +He looked over the list of eligibles. He read their misspelled, +crabbedly written letters. There was not one in the lot to whom a man +of conscience could entrust the Moslem flower, even if she did smoke. + +"There is apparently not one man of education or refinement in the +whole lot," exclaimed Mr. Middleton. + +"That's about right," said the president of the agency. "Between you +and I, there ain't many people of refinement who would go at marrying +in that way. You don't know what a lot of jays and rubes I have to +deal with. Often I threaten to retire. But occasionally a real +gentleman or lady does register in our agency. Object, fun or +matrimony. Now I have one client that is all right, all right except +in one particular. He is a man of thirty-five or six, fine looking, +has a nice house and five thousand dollars a year clear and sure. But +he's stone deaf. He wants a young and handsome girl. Now I could get +him fifty dozen homely young women, or pretty ones that weren't +chickens any longer, real pretty and refined, but you see a real +handsome young girl sort of figures her chances of marrying are good, +that she may catch a man who can hear worth as much as this Crayburn, +which ain't a whole lot, or that if she does marry a poor young chap, +he'll have as much as Crayburn does when he is as old as Crayburn. Now +I'm so sure you'll only have your trouble for your pains, that I won't +charge you anything for his address and a letter of introduction. I +don't believe you have got a girl who will suit, for if you have, she +won't take Crayburn. Here's his picture." + +Mr. Middleton looked upon the photograph of a man who seemed to be +possessed of some of the best qualities of manhood. It was true that +there was a slight suspicion of weakness in the face, but above all it +was kindly and sympathetic. + +"A good looking man," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Smart man, too," said the matrimonial agent. "He graduated from the +university in Evanston and was a lawyer and a good one, until a friend +fired off one of those big duck guns in his ear for a joke." + +Taking the odalisque with him in a cab, Mr. Middleton was off for the +residence of Mr. Crayburn. + +"Will she have me?" asked Mr. Crayburn, when he had read Mr. +Middleton's hastily penciled account of the main facts of his +connection with the fair Moslem, wherein for brevity's sake he had +omitted any mention of the fifteen hundred dollars the emir had given +him for assuming charge of her. + +"Of course," wrote Mr. Middleton. + +"I never saw a more beautiful woman," exclaimed Mr. Crayburn. "By the +way, have you noticed any predilections, habits, wants, it would be +well for me to know about?" + +"She smokes," wrote Mr. Middleton, not knowing why he wrote it, and +wishing like the devil that he hadn't the moment he had. + +"All Oriental women smoke. I will ask her not to as soon as she learns +English." + +Mr. Middleton was amazed to think that such a simple solution had not +occurred to him. But he was glad it was so, for he had not been +unscathed by Cupid's darts there last night and he might not now be +about to visit the young lady of Englewood. + +"Your fee," said Mr. Crayburn. + +Mr. Middleton had not thought of this. He looked about at the +handsomely furnished room. He thought of the five thousand dollars a +year and the very much smaller income he could offer the young lady of +Englewood. He thought of these things and other things. He thought of +the young lady of Englewood; of the odalisque, toward whom he occupied +the position of what is known in law as next friend. She sat behind +him, out of his sight, but he saw her, saw her as he saw her for the +first time, when, ripping the bag away, she lay there in her piteous, +appealing helplessness. + +"There is no fee. The maiden even has a dowry of fifteen hundred +dollars. Please invest it in her name. Oh, sir, treat her kindly." + +"Treat her kindly!" exclaimed the deaf man with emotion. "He would be +a hound who could ill treat one so helpless and friendless, a stranger +in a strange land, whose very beauty would be her undoing, were she +without a protector." + +Much relieved, Mr. Middleton prepared to depart and the odalisque saw +she was not to be included in his departure. She noted the luxurious +appointments of the house, so different from the threadbare and seedy +furnishings of Mr. Middleton's one lone room, but rather a thousand +times would she have been there. A tumult of yearning and love filled +her heart, but beyond the slow tears in her eyes and the trembling +lips, no one could have guessed it. Once more she was a Moslem slave, +sold by the man whom last night she had thought----She bowed to kismet +and strangled her feelings as she had so many times before. And so +after a shake of the hand, Mr. Middleton left her, left her to learn +as the idol of Mr. Crayburn's life, with every whim gratified, that +the first American she had known was but one of millions. + +Away toward Englewood hastened Mr. Middleton, reasoning with himself +in a somewhat casuistical manner. His conscience smote him as he +thought of the previous night. But what else could anybody have done? +Deprived of the power of communicating by the means of words, he had +by caresses assuaged her grief and stilled her fears and now it was +too plain he had made her love him and he had left her in desolation. +But heigho! what was the use of repining over spilled milk and +nicotined fingers that another man and good would care for, and he +himself had not been unscathed by Cupid's darts there the night +before. + +The young lady of Englewood was just putting on her hat to go out and +was standing before the mirror in the hallway. Mr. Middleton had never +called at that hour of the day. For months he had not called at all +and she never expected that he would again. So without any +apprehension at all, she was wearing one of the green silk shirt +waists she had made from the Turkish trousers he had given her, and +had just got her hat placed to suit her, when there he was! + +She turned, blushing furiously. Whether it was the confusion caused +her by being discovered in this shirt waist, or the joy of seeing him +again and the complete surrender, she made in this joy, so delectable +and unexpected and which was not unmixed with a little fear that if he +went away this time, he would never come back again, never! whether it +was these things or what not, she made no struggle at all as Mr. +Middleton threw his arms about her, threw them about her as if she +were to rescue him from some fate, and though he said nothing +intelligible for some time, but kissed her lips, cheeks, and nose, +which latter she had been at pains to powder against the hot sun then +prevailing, she made no resistance at all and breathed an audible +"yes," when he uttered a few incoherent remarks which might be +interpreted as a proposal of marriage. + +Here let us leave him, for all else would be anti-climax to this +supreme moment of his life. Here let us leave him where I wish every +deserving bachelor may some day be: in the arms of an honest and +loving woman who is his affianced wife. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton, by +Wardon Allan Curtis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. MIDDLETON *** + +***** This file should be named 27917-8.txt or 27917-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/9/1/27917/ + +Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton + +Author: Wardon Allan Curtis + +Release Date: January 28, 2009 [EBook #27917] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. MIDDLETON *** + + + + +Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + +<div id="the_beginning"> </div> +<div id="cover"> + <img src="images/cover.png" width="597" height="900" alt="Two men smoke a hookah (one in Western garb, one in Eastern); the title of the book appears in a cloud above their heads." /> +</div> +<div id="title_page"><a class="pagenum disguise" id="pagei" title="i"> </a> + <h1>The<br /> + <em>Strange Adventures</em><br /> + of <em>Mr. Middleton</em></h1> + + <p id="author"><span class="stopword">BY</span><br /> + WARDON ALLAN CURTIS</p> + + <p id="publisher">CHICAGO<br /> + HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY</p> + + <p id="date_published">MCMIII</p> + +</div> +<div id="contents"> + <h2><a class="pagenum disguise" id="pageiii" title="iii"> </a>CONTENTS</h2> + <p class="page_column">PAGE</p> + <ul> + <li><a href="#chapter_1">The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir Achmed Ben Daoud</a> <a href="#page1" class="toc_page">1</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_2">The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster</a> <a href="#page13" class="toc_page">13</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_3">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page27" class="toc_page">27</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_4">The Adventure of William Hicks</a> <a href="#page34" class="toc_page">34</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_5">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page49" class="toc_page">49</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_6">The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity</a> <a href="#page70" class="toc_page">70</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_7">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page87" class="toc_page">87</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_8">The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill</a> <a href="#page108" class="toc_page">108</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_9">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page136" class="toc_page">136</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_10">The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson</a> <a href="#page148" class="toc_page">148</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_11">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page185" class="toc_page">185</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_12">The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman</a> <a href="#page207" class="toc_page">207</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_13">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page223" class="toc_page">223</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_14">The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud</a> <a href="#page260" class="toc_page">260</a></li> + <li><a href="#chapter_15">What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of the Emir</a> <a href="#page291" class="toc_page">291</a></li> + </ul> + + +</div> +<div id="chapter_1" class="chapter" style="border:none;"> + <p id="internal_title"><a class="pagenum" id="page1" title="1"> </a>The <em>Strange Adventures</em> of <em>Mr. Middleton</em></p> + + <h2>The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir Achmed Ben Daoud.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">It was</span> a lowering and gloomy night in + the early part of the present century. + Mr. Edward Middleton, a gallant + youth, who had but lately passed his + twenty-third year, was faring northward along + the southern part of that famous avenue of + commerce, Clark Street, in the city of Chicago, + wending his way toward the emporium of + Mr. Marks Cohen. Suddenly the rain which + the cloudy heaven had been promising for + many hours, began to descend in great scattered + drops that presaged a heavy shower. + Mr. Middleton hastened his steps. It was + possible that if the dress-suit he wore, hired + for the occasion of the wedding of his friend, + Mr. Chauncey Stackelberg, should become + imbued with moisture in the shower that now + seemed imminent, Mr. Cohen, of whom he had + hired the suit, would not add to the modicum + <a class="pagenum" id="page2" title="2"> </a>agreed upon, a charge for pressing it. But if + his own suit for everyday wear, which he was + carrying under his arm with the purpose of + putting it on at good Mr. Cohen’s establishment, + should become wet, that would be a + serious matter. It was, in fact, his only suit + and that will explain the anxiety with which + he scanned the heavens. Suddenly, Pluvius + unloosed all the fountains of the sky, and with + scarcely a thought whither he was going, + Mr. Middleton darted into the first haven of + refuge, a little shop he happened to be just + passing. As the door closed behind him with + the tinkle of a bell in some remote recess, for + the first time he realized that the place he had + entered was utterly dark. His ears, straining + to their uttermost to make compensation for + the inability of his eyes to be of service to him + in this juncture, could no more than inform + him that the place was utterly silent. But to + his nose came the powerful fragrance of strange + foreign aromas such as he had never had experience + of before,—which, heavy and oppressive + in their cloying perfume, seemed the very + breath of mystery. All traffic had ceased + without, as the night was well advanced and + the rain beat so heavily that the few whom + <a class="pagenum" id="page3" title="3"> </a>business or pleasure had called abroad at that + hour, had sought shelter. But though the rain + now fell with a steady roar, Mr. Middleton, + perturbed by a nameless disquiet, was about to + rush forth into the tempest and seek other + shelter, when a door burst open and, outlined + against a glare of light, stood a gigantic man + who said in a deep, low voice that seemed to + pervade every corner of the room and cause + the air to shake in slow vibrations, “Salaam + aleikoom!†Which being repeated again, + Mr. Middleton replied:</p> + + <p>“I do not understand the German language.â€</p> + + <p>A low, musical laugh greeted this remark + and the laugh resolving itself into a low, + musical voice that bade him enter, Mr. Middleton + found himself in a small boudoir of + oriental magnificence, facing a young man in + the costume of the Moslem nations, who sat + cross-legged upon a divan smoking a narghileh. + He was of perhaps twenty-six, somewhat slight, + but elegant of person. His face, extremely + handsome, betokened that he was a man of + intelligence and sensibility. Two brilliant, + sparkling eyes illumined his countenance and + the curl of his carmine lips was that of one who + while kind—without condescension and the + <a class="pagenum" id="page4" title="4"> </a>odiousness of patronage—to all whom the mischance + of fate had made his inferiors in fortune, + would not bend the fawning knee to any whom + the world calls great. Behind him stood a + giant blackamore, he of the voice that had + saluted Mr. Middleton. The blackamore was + dressed in crimson silk sparkling with an array + of gold lace, but his immense turban was snowy + white. Against his shoulder reposed a great + glittering scimetar and a dozen silver-mounted + pistols and poniards were thrust in his sash.</p> + + <p>Presently the young man removed the golden + mouth-piece of the narghileh from his lips and + regarding Mr. Middleton fixedly, remarked:</p> + + <p>“There is but one God and Mohammed is his + Prophet.â€</p> + + <p>Now this was not the doctrine Mr. Middleton + had been taught in the Methodist Sunday + School in Janesville, Wisconsin, but disliking + to dispute with one so engaging as the handsome + Moslem, and having read in a book of etiquette + that it was very ill mannered to indulge + in theological controversy and, moreover, + being conscious of the presence of the blackamore + with the glittering scimetar, he began to + make his excuses for an immediate departure. + But the Moslem would not hear to this.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page5" title="5"> </a>“Mesrour will bear your garments to Mr. + Cohen. From your visage, I judge you to be a + person I wish to know. I take you to be + endowed with probity, discretion, and valor, + and not without wit, good taste, and good + manners. Mesrour, relieve the gentleman of + his burden.â€</p> + + <p>Whereupon Mr. Middleton was compelled + to state that it was the garment on his back + that was to go to Mr. Cohen, though he feared + this confession would cause him to fall in the + estimation of the Moslem. But the stranger + relaxed none of his deference at this intimation + that Mr. Middleton was not a person of + consequence.</p> + + <p>“Mesrour, take two sequins from the ebony + chest. The price the extortionate tailor + charges, is some thirty piastres. Bring back + the change and a receipt.â€</p> + + <p>“Salaam, effendim!†and Mesrour bowed + until the crown of his head was presented + toward his master, together with the palms of + his hands, and in this posture backed from + the room, leaving Mr. Middleton speculating + upon the wonder and alarm little Mr. Cohen + would experience at beholding the gigantic + Nubian in all his outlandish panoply. While + <a class="pagenum" id="page6" title="6"> </a>changing the dress suit for his street wear, + from a back room came the sound of the + blackamore moving about, chanting that weird + refrain, tumpty, tumpty, tum—tum; tumpty, + tumpty, tum—tum; which from Mesopotamia + to the Pillars of Hercules, from the time of + Ishmael to the present, has been the song of + the sons of the desert. What was his surprise + when the blackamore emerged. Gone were his + turban, his flowing trousers, his scimetar, pistols, + and poniards. He had on a long yellow + mackintosh, which did not, however, conceal + a pair of black and white checked pantaloons, + a red tie, and green vest, from each upper + pocket of which projected an ivory-handled + razor.</p> + + <p>“Don’t forget the change, Mesrour.â€</p> + + <p>“No indeed, boss,†replied the blackamore, + whistling “Mah Tiger Lily,†as he departed.</p> + + <p>The Moslem provided Mr. Middleton with + one of those pipes which in various parts of + the Orient are known as narghilehs, hubble-bubbles, + or hookabadours, and seeing his guest + entirely at his ease, without ado began as follows:</p> + + <p>“My name is Achmed Ben Daoud, and I am + hereditary emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, which + <a class="pagenum" id="page7" title="7"> </a>ranges on the border of that fortunate part of + the Arabian peninsular known as Arabia the + Happy. My youngest brother, Ismail, desirous + of seeing the world, went to the court of + Oman, where struck by his inimitable skill in + narration, the imam installed him as royal + story-teller. But having in the space of a year + exhausted his stock of stories, the imam, who + is blessed with an excellent memory, discovering + that he was telling the same stories over + again, shut him up in a tower constructed of + vermilion stone quarried on the upper waters + of the great river Euphrates. There my poor + brother is to stay until he can invent a new + stock of stories, but being utterly devoid of + invention, only death or relenting upon the + part of the imam could release him. Hearing + of his plight, I went to the imam with + the proposition that I seek out some other + story-teller and that upon bringing him to + Muscat, my brother be released. But the + imam exclaimed that he was tired of tales of + genii and magicians, of enchantments and + spells, devils, dragons, and rocs.</p> + + <p>“‘These things are too common, too everyday. + Go to the country of the Franks and + bring me a story-teller who shall tell me tales + <a class="pagenum" id="page8" title="8"> </a>of far nations, and I will release Ismail, and + load him with treasure.’</p> + + <p>“‘My Lord,’ said I, ‘peradventure no Frank + story-teller will come. To guard against such + eventuality, I will myself go to the lands of + the Franks, there to learn of adventures worthy + the ear of your highness. This I will do that + my brother may be released from the vermilion + tower.’</p> + + <p>“‘Do this, and I will give him the vermilion + tower and make him grand vizier of the + dominions of Oman.’</p> + + <p>“As hereditary emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, + I am prince of a considerable population. + My revenues are sufficient to support life becomingly. + But desiring to escape attention, + and moreover, feeling that I could better get + in touch with all classes of the population, I + have established here in Chicago a small + bazaar for the sale of frankincense and myrrh, + the balsam of Hadramaut and attar of roses + from the vales of Nejd, coffee of Mocha—which + is in Arabia the Happy—dates from + Hedjaz, together with ornaments made from + wood grown in Mecca and Medina. Such is + my stock in trade. By day, Mesrour and I + dress like Feringhis. But at night, it pleases + <a class="pagenum" id="page9" title="9"> </a>us to cast aside the stiff garb of the infidel for + the flowing garments of my native land. + Mesrour then delights to make the obeisances + my rank deserves, but which in the presence + of the giaours would excite mocking laughter. + I have prospered. I have made acquaintances + and have learned of many adventures. But I + have made no friends. I have been much prepossessed + by your bearing and feel that I would + like to have you for a friend. I am also desirous + of observing the effect of the tales of + adventure I have been collecting. I need to + acquire skill in the art of narration, and accordingly, + I must have someone to tell them + to, a person whose complaisance will cause + him to overlook the faults of a novice. I am + exceedingly anxious to have the distinguished + honor of your company and if you have any + evenings when you are at leisure, I should be + only too glad to have you spend them here.â€</p> + + <p>“I can come this day week,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“So be it. On that occasion I will tell you + the tale of The Adventure of the Virtuous + Spinster. I have not asked you your calling + in life, for I am utterly without curiosity——â€</p> + + <p>“I am a clerk in a law office,†said Mr. Middleton, + <a class="pagenum" id="page10" title="10"> </a>quickly, “where I perform certain tasks + and at the same time study law, and it is my + hope to be soon admitted to the bar.â€</p> + + <p>Prince Achmed regarded him earnestly for a + moment, and then withdrew to return with a + sandalwood case in his hands. This he opened + to disclose a leathern-bound volume. Upon + the cover was stamped a great gilt monogram + of letters in some strange language. The + edges were stained a brilliant and peculiarly + vivid green. The pages were of fine pearl-colored + vellum, covered with strange characters + in black. Each chapter began with a great + red initial surrounded by an illuminated design + of many colored arabesques. It was + indeed a volume to cause a book-lover to cry + out with joy.</p> + + <p>“Here is all the law man needs, the sacred + Koran. Here is the beginning and end of law, + the source of regulations that ensure righteous + conduct, the precepts of Mohammed, + prophet of Allah. If other laws agree with + those of the Koran, they are needless. If they + disagree, they are evil. Study this guide of + life, my friend, and there will be no need to + worry your brain with tomes of the presumptuous + wights who from their own imaginings + <a class="pagenum" id="page11" title="11"> </a>dare attempt to dictate laws and impiously + substitute them for the laws revealed to Mohammed + from on high. Accept this gift and + study it.â€</p> + + <p>With the sandalwood case containing the + precious volume of the law under his arm, + Mr. Middleton departed. After the lapse of + three days, finding no immediate prospect of + learning the Arabic language, and fearful of + offending Prince Achmed if he returned the + book, and having no possible use for it, he + took it to a bibliophile, who exclaiming that + it was the handiwork of a Mohammedan monastery + of Damascus and bore on the cover the + monogram of the fifth Fatimite caliph, and was + therefore a thousand years old, he told Mr. + Middleton that though it was worth much + more, he could offer him but five hundred dollars, + which sum the astonished friend of + Achmed received in a daze, and departed to + invest in a well located lot in a new suburb. + Having no use for the sandalwood case after + the Koran had been disposed of, he presented + it to a young lady of Englewood as a receptacle + for handkerchiefs.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions + when on the appointed evening he once + <a class="pagenum" id="page12" title="12"> </a>more sat in the presence of the urbane prince + of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a + bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed + began to narrate The Adventure of the Virtuous + Spinster.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_2" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page13" title="13"> </a>The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Miss Almira Johnson</span> was a virtuous + spinster, aged thirty-nine, who + lived in a highly respectable boarding-house + on the north side. Her + days she spent in keeping the books of a + large leather firm, in an office which she shared + with two male clerks who were married, and a + red-headed boy of sixteen, who was small for + his age.</p> + + <p>On the evening when my tale begins, Miss + Almira, tastefully attired for her night’s rest + in a white nightgown trimmed with blue lace, + was peeping under the bed for the ever-possible + man, the nightly rite preliminary to her + prayers. She fell back gasping in a vain + attempt to scream, but not a sound could she + give vent to. The precaution of years had + been justified. <em>There lay a man!</em> He was + habited in a very genteel frock-suit, patent-leather + shoes, and although it must have + caused him some inconvenience in his recumbent + position, upon his head was a correct plug + hat. The elegance and respectability of his + <a class="pagenum" id="page14" title="14"> </a>garb somewhat reassured Miss Almira, who + was unable to believe that one so apparelled + could have secreted himself under her bed for + an evil purpose, when a new fear seized her, + for arguing from this assumption, she concluded + he must have been placed there by + others and was, in short, dead. Whereupon, + having to some degree recovered possession of + herself, she was opening her mouth to scream + at this new terror, when the man spoke.</p> + + <p>“Listen before you scream, I pray thee, + beauteous lady, darling of my life, pearl of my + desires, star of my hopes.â€</p> + + <p>The strangeness of the address and the unaccustomed + epithets caused Miss Almira to forbear, + for she could not hear what he had to + say and scream at the same time, and, moreover, + she remembered how twenty years before, + Jake Long had fled, never to return to her + side, when after telling her she was the sweetest + thing in the world, she had screamed as + his arms clasped about her in a bearish hug.</p> + + <p>“Fair lady, ornament of your sex, hear the + words of your ardent admirer before you blast + his hopes.â€</p> + + <p>As he uttered these words, the stranger extricated + himself from his undignified position + <a class="pagenum" id="page15" title="15"> </a>and sat down in a rocking chair before the + bureau. Miss Almira was more than ever + prepossessed as she saw he wore white kid + gloves and that in his shirt front gleamed a + large diamond. He removed his hat, disclosing + a heavy crop of black hair. He had blue + eyes and a strong, clean-shaven face.</p> + + <p>“For some time I have observed you and + wondered how I was to realize my fondest + hopes and make your acquaintance. All day + you are in the office, where the two married + men and the red-headed boy are always <em lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">de + trop</em>. My employment is of a nature that + takes me out nights. In fact, I teach a night + school for Italians. To-day being an Italian + holiday and so no school, and as there is a possibility + I shall soon leave the city for an extended + season, I have been unable to devise + any other means of declaring myself before the + time for my departure. Pray pardon me for + the abruptness and importunity of my declaration, + pray forgive me for the unusual way + which I have taken to secure an interview + alone with you. But if you only knew the + ardor of my love, my impatience—oh, would + that our union could be effected this very + night!â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page16" title="16"> </a>Ravished by the elegance of the stranger + both in his outward seeming and his converse, + melted by the warmth of a romantic devotion + almost unknown in these degenerate days, + though common enough of yore, Miss Almira + paused a moment in the proud compliance of + one about to gladly bestow an inestimable, but + hardly hoped-for gift, and crying, “It can be + done, it shall be done,†threw herself into the + cavalier’s arms.</p> + + <p>“How so?†asked the stranger, after Miss + Almira had disengaged herself at the elapse of + a proper interval.</p> + + <p>“Why, the Rev. Eusebius Williams has the + next room. We will call him.â€</p> + + <p>“But,†said the stranger, “I thought the + occupant of the next room was Mr. Algernon + Tibbs, a gentleman from the country, who has + recently sold a large number of hogs here in + the city and has been ill in his room for a + space by reason of a contusion on the head + from a gold brick, which was, so to speak, + twice thrown at his head, once figuratively as + a ridiculously fine bargain which he refused to + take, and again when the owner, angered, + struck him with the rejected gold.â€</p> + + <p>“I see,†said Miss Almira archly, “that in + <a class="pagenum" id="page17" title="17"> </a>planning for this, you have tried to study the + lay of the land; but be gratified, sir, for the + lucky chance which prevented a sad mistake. + Mr. Tibbs and I do occupy adjoining rooms. + But the one Mr. Tibbs occupies is really mine. + To-day we exchanged and I will remain here + for the four or five days Mr. Tibbs is to be in + the city. He has a large sum of money in his + possession, so we all infer. At any rate, he + was afraid to sleep in this room, where there is + a fire escape at the window, and took mine, + where an unscalable wall prevents access. + Suppose the Italian holiday had been last + night and you had come then. He would then + have taken you for a robber, notwithstanding + that anybody could see you are a gentleman.â€</p> + + <p>For the first time did Miss Almira become + conscious she was not robed as one should be + while receiving callers, and blushing violently, + she leaped into bed, whence she bid the + stranger retire for a bit until she could dress, + when they would invoke the kindly offices of + the Rev. Eusebius Williams.</p> + + <p>“Your name,†she called, as the stranger + was about to retire.</p> + + <p>“My name,†said he impressively, “which + will soon be yours, is Breckenridge Endicott.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page18" title="18"> </a>“Mulvane,†said Mr. Breckenridge Endicott + to himself, noiselessly descending the stairs, + “what if she had screamed before you had + pulled yourself together and thought of that + stunt? You didn’t get old Tibb’s money, but + you did get—away.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Endicott tried the front door. To his + apparent annoyance, there was no bolt, no + knob to unlock it, and key there was none. + In the parlors, he could hear the voices of + boarders.</p> + + <p>“No way there, Mulvane,†said Mr. Endicott. + “I’ll go into the kitchen and walk out + the back door. If there’s anybody there, + they’ll think me a new boarder.â€</p> + + <p>But he started violently and stood for some + moments trembling for no assignable reason, as + he saw in front of the range a fat German + hired girl sitting in the lap of a fat Irish + policeman.</p> + + <p>“No go through Almira’s room to the fire + escape. But perhaps I can get out on the roof + and get away somehow. She can’t have + dressed so soon,†and he ascended the stairs to + run plump into Miss Almira, who popped out of + her room, resplendent in a rustling black silk.</p> + + <p>“Oh, you impatient thing,†said Miss Almira, + <a class="pagenum" id="page19" title="19"> </a>shaking a reproving finger. “I put this on, + and then I thought I ought to wear something + white, and so came out to tell you not to get + impatient waiting, and why I kept you so + long,†and back she popped.</p> + + <p>“You are up against it, Mulvane,†said Mr. + Breckenridge Endicott, sitting disconsolately + down upon the stairs. “Hold on, just the + thing. Why, as her husband, you’ll live here + unsuspected and get in with old Tibbs. Why, + the job will be pie. It won’t be mean to her, + either. When you just vanish, she’ll have + ‘Mrs.’ tacked to her name, and that’ll help + her. It will be lots of satisfaction. They + can’t call her an old maid. ‘Better ’tis to have + loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ + I’ll give her some of the boodle. She isn’t bad + looking. Wonder why nobody ever grabbed + on to her. If I had enough to live well, I’d + marry her myself and settle down.â€</p> + + <p>The Rev. Eusebius Williams, with ten dollars + fee in his right pantaloons pocket, and the + radiant Almira, did not look happier during + the wedding ceremony than did Mr. Breckenridge + Endicott.</p> + + <p>It was seldom that Mr. Endicott was absent + from the side of his wife during the next few + <a class="pagenum" id="page20" title="20"> </a>days. Occasionally pleading urgent business, + he left her to go down town with Mr. + Tibbs, whom he was seeking to interest in a + plan to extract gold from sea water, a plan + upon which Mr. Tibbs looked with some favor, + for as presented by Mr. Endicott, it was one + of great feasibility and promised enormous + profits. In the setting forth of the method of + extraction, Mr. Endicott was much aided by + his wife, who overhearing him in earnest consultation + with Mr. Tibbs bounded in and demanded + to know what it was all about. Mr. + Endicott demurred, saying it was an abstruse + matter which should not burden so poetical a + mind as hers. But Mr. Tibbs set it forth to + her briefly. Having in her youth made much + of the sciences of chemistry and physics, to + the great amaze and admiration of Mr. Endicott, + she launched into a most lucid explication + of the practicability of the plan, leaving + Mr. Tibbs more than ever inclined to venture + his thousands.</p> + + <p>“By Jove, she’ll do, Mulvane. Why cut and + run? Take her along. She is a splendid + grafter,†said Mr. Endicott to himself, as he + and his wife withdrew from the presence of + Mr. Tibbs. “My dear,†he continued aloud, + <a class="pagenum" id="page21" title="21"> </a>“I was overcome by respect for the way you + aided me. You are indeed a jewel. I had + never suspected you understood me, knew + what I was, until you came in and explained that + sucker trap. You are a most unexpected ally. + You perceive clearly how the thing works?â€</p> + + <p>“Why, of course, Breckenridge. I have not + studied science in vain, though I do not recall + what part of the machine you call ‘sucker trap’. + Doubtless the contrivance marked ‘converter,’ + in the drawings. Of course I understood you, + right from the first, a noble, noble man, and so + romantic. But Brecky, dear, why let other + people share in this invention? Why not make + all the money ourselves and become million, + millionaires? I shall build churches and + libraries and support missionaries. Why let + Mr. Tibbs, who is a somewhat gross person, + enjoy any of the fruits of your genius?â€</p> + + <p>Whereupon Mr. Endicott’s face took on an + expression of deep disappointment, disillusionment, + and sorrow, until seeing his own sorrow + mingled with alarm reflected on his wife’s + face, he presently announced that they would + depart on their wedding journey by boat for + Mackinac three days hence.</p> + + <p>“I shall stop fiddle-faddling and settle the + <a class="pagenum" id="page22" title="22"> </a>business which delays me here, at one stroke. + The old simple methods are the best.â€</p> + + <p>As Mr. and Mrs. Breckenridge Endicott + were entering their cab to drive to the wharf, + Mrs. Maxon, the landlady, came hurriedly + with the scandal that Mr. Algernon Tibbs had + been found in his room in the stupor of intoxication.</p> + + <p>“Why, he might have been robbed while in + that condition,†said Mrs. Maxon.</p> + + <p>“He will not be robbed while under your + roof,†said Mr. Endicott gallantly. “He is + safe from robbing now. He will not, he cannot, + I may say, be robbed now.â€</p> + + <p>The sun was touching the western horizon as + the steamer glided out of the river’s mouth. + The wind lay dead upon the water, and for a + space the pair sat in the tender light of declining + day indulging in the pleasures of conversation, + but at length Mr. Endicott led his wife to + their stateroom.</p> + + <p>“On this auspicious day, I wish to make you + a gift,†and he handed her a thousand dollars + in bills. “My presence is now required on the + lower deck for a time. Be patient during my + absence,†whereupon he embraced her with an + ardor he had never shown before and there + <a class="pagenum" id="page23" title="23"> </a>was in his voice a strange ring of regret and + longing such as Almira had never listened to. + It thrilled her very soul and bestowing upon + him a shower of passionate kisses and an embrace + of the utmost affection, their parting took + on almost the agony of a parting for years.</p> + + <p>“Where the devil is that coal passer Mullanphy, + I gave a job to?†said the engineer on the + lower deck. “Is he aboard?â€</p> + + <p>“His dunnage is in his bunk, but nobody + ain’t seen him,†replied one of the crew.</p> + + <p>“Who the devil is that geezer in a Prince + Albert and a plug hat that just went in back + there, and what the devil is he up to?†said + the engineer again, as a black-clothed figure + passed toward the stern.</p> + + <p>A few moments later, a sturdy man in a + jumper and overalls, his face smeared with + grime, peered cautiously around a bulkhead, + and seeing nobody, stepped quickly to the + side of the vessel, bearing a limp and spineless + figure in a black frock and silk hat. With a + dextrous movement, he cast the thing forth, + and as it went flopping through the air and + slapped the water, from somewhere arose the + voice of Mr. Breckenridge Endicott crying, + “Help! help! help!â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page24" title="24"> </a>Mrs. Endicott, full of dole at the absence of + her spouse and oppressed with a nameless disquiet, + had paced the upper deck impatiently, + and at this moment stood just above where her + beloved went leaping to his doom. With one + wild scream, she jumped, she scrambled, she + fell to the lower deck, colliding with a man + leaning out looking at the sinking figure. + Down, with a vain and frantic clutching at the + side that only served to stay his fall so that he + slipped silently into the water under the vessel’s + counter, went the unfortunate man.</p> + + <p>Plump, into the yawl with the rescue crew, + went Mrs. Endicott. Far astern through the + dusk could be seen a black silk hat on the still + water. Astern could be heard the voice of + Mr. Breckenridge Endicott crying, “Quick, + quick! I can swim a little, but I am almost + gone!â€</p> + + <p>“Turn to the left, to the left,†cried Mrs. + Endicott.</p> + + <p>“But the cries come from the right,†said + the coxswain.</p> + + <p>“That’s his hat to the left. I know his hat. + I saw him fall. I know his voice. It’s his hat + and his voice.â€</p> + + <p>The crew could have sworn that the cries + <a class="pagenum" id="page25" title="25"> </a>came from the right, but to the hat they + steered and the cries ceased before their + arrival. They lifted the hat. Nothing beneath + but eighty fathoms of water.</p> + + <p>It was some time thereafter that a fisherman + came upon a corpse floating inshore. Its face + was bloated to such an extent as to prevent + recognition. Its clothes were those of a steamboat + roustabout. In the breastpocket was a + large pocketbook bearing in gilt letters the + legend, “Mr. Breckenridge Endicott.â€</p> + + <p>“The present I gave him on the morning of + our departure!†exclaimed Miss Almira, “now + so strangely found on the dead body of the + man who robbed him and probably murdered + him.â€</p> + + <p>Although soaked, the bills were redeemable. + The fisherman was a fisherman who owned a + town house on Prairie Avenue and a country + house at Oconomowoc and he would take no + reward. The bills amounted to nine thousand + dollars. Taking her fortune, Almira retired + to her former home in Ogle county, Illinois, + where once more meeting Mr. Jake Long, + lately made a widower, after a decent period + of waiting, they became man and wife. So it + ended happily for all except the person who + <a class="pagenum" id="page26" title="26"> </a>called himself Mr. Breckenridge Endicott—though + I suspect that was not his name—and + for Mr. Algernon Tibbs. Lest you waste pity + on Mr. Algernon Tibbs, let me say that in his + youth, he was accustomed to kill little girl’s + cats, and that his fortune was entirely one he + beat out of his brother-in-law, James Wilkinson.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_3" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page27" title="27"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">“The</span> individual whose sad taking-off I + have just narrated,†said the emir of + the tribe of Al-Yam, “affords an excellent + example of the power of + good clothes. Suppose he had secreted himself + under Miss Almira’s bed wearing a + jumper, overalls, and a mask. He would + have been arrested and lodged in the penitentiary.â€</p> + + <p>“But he is now dead,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“He had better be dead, than continuing + his career of villainy and crime,†quoth the emir + sternly, and then passing his eyes over the person + of Mr. Middleton, he remarked the somewhat + threadbare and glossy garments of that + excellent young man. “If you would accept a + suit of raiment from me,†continued the emir + with a hesitation that betrayed the delicacy + which was one of the most marked of the many + estimable traits that made his character so + <a class="pagenum" id="page28" title="28"> </a>admirable, “I would be overjoyed and obliged. + The interests of you, my only friend in this + vast land, have become to me as my own. + Unfortunately I have no Frank clothes except + the one suit I wear daily. But of the costumes + of my native land, I have abundant store, and + as we are of the same stature, I beg you will + make me happy by accepting one.â€</p> + + <p>Speaking some words to Mesrour in the + language of Arabia, the blackamore brought in + and proceeded to invest Mr. Middleton with + an elegant silken habit consisting of a pair of + exceedingly baggy trousers of the hue of + emeralds, a round jacket whose crimson + rivalled the rubies of Farther Ind, and a vest + of snowy white. Double rows of small pearls + ornamented the edges of the jacket, which was + short and just met a copper-colored sash about + the waist. After inducting him into a pair of + white leggings and bronze shoes, Mesrour + clapped upon his head a large white turban + ornamented with a black aigret.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton looked very well in his new + garments and while the emir was complimenting + him upon this fact and the grace of his + bearing and Mr. Middleton was uttering protestations + of gratitude, Mesrour busied himself, + <a class="pagenum" id="page29" title="29"> </a>and Mr. Middleton, turning with intent to + resume his wonted garb, was astonished to + find it in a network of heavy twine tied with a + multiplicity of knots.</p> + + <p>“Mesrour will bring you your Frank clothes + in the morning. I am very tired, and so I will + bid you good night,†and the yawn which now + overspread the face of the accomplished + prince told more than his words that the audience + was ended.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton looked at the bundle with its + array of knots. To untie it would require a + long time and the prince was repeating his + yawn and his good night. Even had he not + hesitated to offend the prince by demanding + opportunity to resume his customary vestments + and to weary him by making him wait for this + operation, which promised to be a long one, + he would have been without volition in the + matter; for in obedience to a gesture, Mesrour + grasped his arm and with great deference, but + inflexible and unalterable firmness, led him + through the shop and closed the street door + behind him.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton was greatly disconcerted at + finding himself in the street arrayed in these + brilliant and barbarous habiliments, but reflecting + <a class="pagenum" id="page30" title="30"> </a>that the citizens traveling the streets at + this hour would perhaps take him for some + high official in one of the many fraternal + orders that entertain, instruct, and edify the + inhabitants of the city, he proceeded on his + way somewhat reassured. As he was changing + cars well toward his lodgings, at a corner + where a large public hall reared its façade, he + heard himself accosted, and turning, beheld a + portly person wearing a gilt paper crown, a + long robe of purple velvet bordered with rabbit’s + fur spotted with black, and bearing in his + hand a bung-starter, which, covered with gilt + paper, made a very creditable counterfeit of a + royal scepter.</p> + + <p>“Come here once,†said this personage.</p> + + <p>With great affableness expressing a willingness + to come twice, if it were desired, Mr. + Middleton accompanied the personage, as with + an air of brooding mystery, the latter led him + down the street twenty feet from where they + had first stood.</p> + + <p>“Was you going to the masquerade?â€</p> + + <p>“Yes,†said Mr. Middleton, divining from + the presence of the personage and two other + masquers whom he now beheld entering the + hall, that a masquerade was in progress.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page31" title="31"> </a>“What’ll you take to stay away?â€</p> + + <p>“Why?â€</p> + + <p>“You’ll take the prize.â€</p> + + <p>“What is the prize and why should the possibility + of winning it deter me?â€</p> + + <p>“The prize is five dollars. It’s this way. I + am a saloonkeeper. Gustaf Kleiner and I are + in love with the same girl. She is in love with + all both of us. She don’t know what to say. + She can’t marry all both, so she says she’ll + marry the one what gits the prize at the masquerade. + If you git the prize, don’t either of + us git the girl already. I’ll give you twenty + dollars to stay away.â€</p> + + <p>“But what of Gustaf Kleiner? Have you + paid him?â€</p> + + <p>“He is going to be a devil. I hired two + Irishmans for five dollars to meet him up the + street, cut off his tail, break his horns, and put + whitewash on his red suit. He is all right. + I’ll make it thirty dollars and a ticket of the + raffle for my watch to-morrow.â€</p> + + <p>“Done,†said Mr. Middleton, and he proceeded + to draw up a contract binding him to + stay away from the masquerade for a consideration + of thirty dollars.</p> + + <p>It was not the least remarkable part of his + <a class="pagenum" id="page32" title="32"> </a>adventure that he did not meet Gustaf Kleiner + in his damaged suit and for a consideration of + fifty dollars, lend him the magnificent Oriental + costume. He did not see Gustaf Kleiner at + all, nor did he win the watch in the raffle and + the chronicler hopes that the setting down of + these facts will not cause the readers to doubt + his veracity, for he is aware that usually these + things are ordered differently.</p> + + <p>Having kept the Oriental costume for several + days and seeing no prospect of ever wearing it, + and his small closet having become crowded + by the presence of a new twenty-dollar suit + which he purchased with part of his gains, he + presented it to the young lady in Englewood + previously mentioned, who reduced the ruby red + jacket to a beautiful bolero jacket, made a table + throw of the sash, and after much hesitation + seized the exceedingly baggy trousers—which + were made with but one seam—and ripping them + up, did, with a certain degree of confusion, + fashion them into two lovely shirt waists. + But she did not wear them in the presence of + Mr. Middleton and did not even mention them + to him. Nor did Mr. Middleton allude to any + of these transactions when on the appointed + day and hour he again sat in the presence of + <a class="pagenum" id="page33" title="33"> </a>the urbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. + Handing him a bowl of delicately flavored + sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure + of William Hicks.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_4" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page34" title="34"> </a>The Adventure of William Hicks.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Young William Hicks</span> was a native of + the village of Bensonville, in the + southern part of Illinois. Having, at + the age of twenty, graduated at the + head of a class of six in the village school, his + father thought to reward him for his diligence + in study by a short trip to the city of Chicago, + which metropolis William had never beheld. + Addressing him in a discourse which, while not + long, abounded in valuable advice, Mr. Hicks + presented his son with a sum of money sufficient + for a stay of a week, provided it were not + expended imprudently.</p> + + <p>One evening, William was walking along + Wabash Avenue, feeling somewhat lonely as + he soberly reflected that not one in all that + vast multitude cared anything about him, when + he heard himself accosted in a most cheery + manner, and looking up, beheld a beautiful + lady smiling at him. It was plain that she + belonged to the upper classes. A hat of very + large proportions, ornamented with a great + <a class="pagenum" id="page35" title="35"> </a>ostrich plume, shaded a head of lovely yellow + hair. She was clothed all in rustling purple + silk and sparkled with jewelry. Her cheeks + and lips glowed with a carmine quite unknown + among the fair but pale damosels of Bensonville, + which is situated in a low alluvial location, + surrounded by flat plains, the whole being + somewhat damp and malarial. William had + never imagined eyes so wide open and glistening.</p> + + <p>“My name is Willy, to be sure. But you + have the advantage of me, for ashamed as I am + to say it, I cannot quite recall you. You are + not the lady who came to Bensonville and + stayed at the Campbellite minister’s?â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, how are all the dear folks in Bensonville? + But, say, Will, don’t you want to come + along with me awhile and talk it all over?â€</p> + + <p>“I should be honored to do so, if you will + lead the way. I confess I am lonely to-night, + and I always enjoy talking over old times.â€</p> + + <p>At this juncture, a sudden look of alarm + spread over the lady’s beauteous face and a + lumbering minion of the law stepped before + her.</p> + + <p>“Up to your old tricks, eh?†he growled. + “Didn’t I tell you that the next time I caught + <a class="pagenum" id="page36" title="36"> </a>you tackling a man, I’d run you in? Run you + in it is. Come on, now.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, oh,†panted the lady, and great tears + welled into her adorable eyes. At that moment, + there was a crash in the street, as a poor + Italian exile had his push cart overturned by + the sudden and unexpected backing of a cab. + The policeman turned to look and, like a + frightened gazelle, the lady bounded away, + closely followed by young William.</p> + + <p>“Is there nothing I can do? Cannot I complain + to the judge for you, or address a communication + to some paper describing and + condemning this conduct?â€</p> + + <p>“Is he coming? Is he coming?†asked the + lady, piteously.</p> + + <p>“No. But if he were, I would strike him, + big as he is. Cannot a former visitor in Bensonville + greet one of its citizens without interference + from the police?â€</p> + + <p>Hereupon the lady, who seemed to be giving + little heed to what William was saying, beyond + the information that the policeman was not in + pursuit, gave a gay little laugh of relief, which + caused William’s eyes to light in pitying sympathy.</p> + + <p>“Now that we are away from him, what do + <a class="pagenum" id="page37" title="37"> </a>you say to a friendly game of cards somewhere, + to pass away the evening, which hangs + heavy on my hands and doubtless does on + yours?â€</p> + + <p>“I have never played cards,†said William, + “for while there is nothing intrinsically wrong + in them, they are the vehicle of much that is + injurious, and at the very least, they cause one + to fritter away valuable time in profitless + amusement.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, la! you are wrong there,†said the + lady, with a little silvery laugh. “They are + not a profitless amusement. Why, a man has + to keep his brains in good trim when he plays + cards, and whist is just as good a mental exercise + as geometry and algebra, or any other + study where the mind is engaged upon various + problems. You see I stand up for cards, for I + teach whist myself and I assure you that many + of the leading ladies of this city spend their + time in little else than whist, which they would + not do if cards were what you say. Before you + pass your opinion, why not let me show you + some of the fine points, and then you will have + something to base your judgment upon.â€</p> + + <p>William, quite impressed by the elegance + and social standing of the lady, as well as + <a class="pagenum" id="page38" title="38"> </a>influenced by her beauty, despite her evident + seniority of ten or fifteen years, assented, and + the lady continued:</p> + + <p>“I would invite you to my own apartments, + but they are so far away, and as we are now in + front of the Hotel Dieppe, let us go up and + engage a room for a few hours and I will teach + you a few little interesting tricks with which + you can amuse the people of Bensonville, and + even obtain some profit, if you wish to. What + do you say?â€</p> + + <p>William averring that he would be pleased + to receive the proffered instruction, she led the + way up a flight of stairs and paused in the + doorway of the hotel office, for the Hotel + Dieppe was a hostelry of no great pretentions + and occupied the upper stories of a building, + the lower floors of which were devoted to a + furniture emporium. Behind the counter stood + a low-browed clerk with a large diamond in his + shirt front, who scrutinized them keenly.</p> + + <p>“You get the room,†said the lady, coyly. + “I’m bashful and don’t like to go in there + where are all those smoking men. You may + take it in my name if you wish,—Madeleine + Montmorency.â€</p> + + <p>“Number 15,†said the clerk, and in a space + <a class="pagenum" id="page39" title="39"> </a>William found himself in a dark room, alone + with the lady, and heard the door close behind + them and the key turn in the lock.</p> + + <p>“We are locked in!†exclaimed Miss Montmorency.</p> + + <p>“What’s that?†said a deep voice in the + darkness.</p> + + <p>Miss Montmorency screamed, and screamed + again as William turned on the light and they + beheld a man lying in bed!</p> + + <p>William was stepping hastily to her side to + shield her vision from this improper spectacle, + when he paused as if frozen to the floor. The + man was now sitting up in bed and he had a <em>red + flannel night gown, one eye</em>, <strong class="emphasis">AND TWO NOSES</strong>!</p> + + <p>“What the devil are you doing here?†exclaimed + the monster in the red flannel nightgown.</p> + + <p>“That I will gladly tell you, for I would not + have you believe that we wantonly intruded + upon your slumbers.†And thereupon William + related that he was a citizen of Bensonville + who had met a former visitor there and + they had come here to talk over mutual + acquaintances and improve their minds by + discreet discourse. “But, sir,†he said, in + concluding, “pardon my natural curiosity concerning + <a class="pagenum" id="page40" title="40"> </a>yourself. Who are you and why are + you?â€</p> + + <p>“If I had the printed copies of my life here, + I would gladly sell you one, but I left them all + behind. My name is Walker Sheldrup. I am + registered from Springfield, Mass., but I am + from Dubuque, Iowa. I was born in Sedalia, + Mo., where my father was a prominent citizen. + It was he who led the company of + men who, with five ox teams, hauled the + courthouse away from Georgetown and laid + the foundations of Sedalia’s greatness. Had + he lived, Sedalia would not have tried in vain + to swipe the capital from Jefferson City. As a + youth I was distinguished—but I’ll cut all that + out. Your presence here and the door being + locked behind you only too surely warns me + that we have no time to lose. They have + taken you for the snake-eating lady and the + rubber-skinned boy, who ran away when I did + and who were to meet me here in Chicago. If + you will turn your heads away so I can dress, I + will continue. You have heard of prenatal + influences. Shortly before I was born, my + mother made nine pumpkin pies and set them + to cool on a stone wall beneath the shade of a + large elm. As luck would have it, a menagerie + <a class="pagenum" id="page41" title="41"> </a>passed by and an elephant grabbed those pies + one after another and ate them. The sight of + that enormous pachyderm gobbling my mother’s + cherished handiwork, completely upset + her. I was born with two noses like the two + tusks of the beast. At the same time, like the + trunk, they are movable. My two noses are as + mobile and useful as two fingers and if you + have a quarter with you, I will gladly perform + some curious feats. My noses being so near + together, ordinarily, I join them with flesh-colored + wax. I then seem to have but one + nose, although a very large one. I thus escape + the annoying attention of the multitude, which + is very disagreeable to a proud man of good + family, like me. Young man, do you ever + drink? In Dubuque, they got me drunk so I + didn’t know what I was about and I signed a + contract with a dime museum company for + twenty-five dollars a week. Take warning + from my fate. Never drink, never drink.â€</p> + + <p>“I can well imagine your sufferings at being + a spectacle for a ribald crowd,†said William. + “To a man of refined sensibilities, it must be + excruciating, and it was an outrage to entrap + you into such a contract.â€</p> + + <p>“I ought to have had seventy-five and could + <a class="pagenum" id="page42" title="42"> </a>have got fifty. So I ran away. Well, now, + how are we going to get out of here? Can you + climb over the transom, young man?â€</p> + + <p>As he said these words, the door flew open + and in rushed some villainous looking men, + who gagged, handcuffed, and shackled Miss + Montmorency, William, and the two-nosed + man.</p> + + <p>“We have the legal right to do this,†said + the leader, displaying the badge of the Jinkins + private detective agency. “Advices from + Dubuque set us at work. We early located + Sheldrup at this hotel, and when the clerk saw + the rubber-skinned boy and the snake-eating + lady come in, he suspicioned who they was at + once and by a great stroke, put ’em in with + old two-nose. Do you think we are going to + put you through for breach of contract and for + swiping that money out of the till on the claim + it was due you on salary? Nit. Cost too + much, take too much time, and you git sent to + jail instead of being back in the museum helping + draw crowds. We are in for saving time + and trouble for you, us, and your employer. + To-night you ride out of here for Dubuque, + covered up with hay, in the corner of the car + carrying the new trick horse for the museum. + <a class="pagenum" id="page43" title="43"> </a>Save your fare and all complications. Now, + boys, we want to work this on the quiet, so we + will just leave ’em all here until the streets are + deserted and there won’t be anybody around + to notice us gitting ’em into the hack.â€</p> + + <p>“Hadn’t one of us better stay?†asked a + subordinate.</p> + + <p>“How can people gagged, their ankles + shackled, their hands handcuffed behind ’em, + git out? Why, I’ll just leave the handcuff + keys here on the table and tantalize ’em.â€</p> + + <p>Tears welled in the soft, beauteous orbs of + Miss Montmorency and William’s eyes spoke + keen distress, but Mr. Sheldrup’s eyes gleamed + triumphantly above the cloth tied about the + lower part of his face. Hardly had the steps + of the detectives died away on the stair, when + a little click was heard behind Miss Montmorency + and her handcuffs fell to the floor. + There stood Mr. Sheldrup, politely bowing, + with the key held between his two noses. She + seized it and in a twinkling, the bonds of all + had been removed and, forcing the door, they + started away. At the street entrance stood + the policeman who had insulted Miss Montmorency!</p> + + <p>“Oh, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get six + <a class="pagenum" id="page44" title="44"> </a>months. He knew where I’d go. I haven’t + any money,†and tears not only filled the + wondrous optics of poor Miss Montmorency, + but flowed down her cheeks.</p> + + <p>“Six months, your grandmother. I’ll not go + back on you. Young man, follow me into the + office and when I am fairly in front of the + clerk, give me a shove,†and the two-nosed + man, with a grip in each hand, walked up to + the clerk and began to rebuke him for his + ungentlemanly and unprincipled conduct.</p> + + <p>“You white-livered son of a sea-cook, you + double-dyed, concentrated essence of a skunk,†+ and at that moment young William pushed + him and the two-nosed gentleman lurched forward, + and bending his head to avoid contact + with the clerk’s face, it rested against the latter’s + bosom for a moment. Departing immediately, + at the foot of the stairs the two-nosed + gentleman said to the policeman:</p> + + <p>“Officer, please let this lady pass. For + various reasons, I desire it enough to spare + this stud, which will look well upon the best + policeman on the force.â€</p> + + <p>“All right,†said the policeman. “Go along + for all of me, Bet Higgins,†and he courteously + accepted the diamond.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page45" title="45"> </a>“My stage name,†said Miss Montmorency, + in answer to an inquiring look from William. + “The name I sign to articles in the Sunday + papers.â€</p> + + <p>“Now of course they are watching all the + depots,†said the two-nosed gentleman. + “Before they located me here they did that, + and as they have also been looking for the + snake-eating lady and the rubber-skinned boy, + our late captors have not had time to notify + them that we have been captured. It is useless + to try to escape that way, then; it is too far to + walk out, or go by street car, and as it is a + fair, moonlight night with a soft breeze, I am + for getting a boat and sailing out.â€</p> + + <p>After some search, they found a small sail + boat. Miss Montmorency had decided to flee + from the wicked city with the two-nosed gentleman. + She had heard such delightful reports + of Michigan. The owner of the boat not being + there and there being no probability that they + would ever return it, the two-nosed gentleman + wrote a check on a Dubuque bank for one hundred + and seventy-five dollars, and Miss Montmorency + an order on the school board for a + like amount, and these they pinned up where + the boatman could find them.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page46" title="46"> </a>“It will be quite like a fairy tale when the + good boatman comes in the morning and finds + this large sum left him by those to whom his + little craft has been of such inestimable service,†+ said William, and then for fear the boatman + might not find the check and the order, + in two other places he pinned up cards giving + the whereabouts of the remuneration for the + boat and some statement concerning the circumstances + of its requisition. On the back of + one of the cards had been penciled his name + and city address, and though he had erased the + black of this inscription, the impression yet + remained distinctly legible. This erasure was + not due to any desire to conceal his identity or + lodgings, but because he had thought at first + that he could not get all the information on one + side of the card. Having seen his friends go + slipping out on the deep, he turned pensively + homeward, somewhat heavy of heart, for when + one faces perils with another, fast friendships + are quickly welded.</p> + + <p>In the morning, young William was arrested + and lodged in jail and a corrupt and venal + judge laughed with contempt at his plea. + After three long days in jail, came Mr. Hicks, + senior, who compounded with the boat owner + <a class="pagenum" id="page47" title="47"> </a>for two hundred and fifty dollars, the boat + being, as the owner swore, of Spanish cedar + with nickel-plated trimmings.</p> + + <hr class="thoughtbreak" /> + + <p>“That is always the way when a person of + good heart befriends another,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Alas, too often,†said the emir of the tribe + of Al-Yam. “But I am pleased to say that + when once across the lake, the two-nosed gentleman + married Miss Montmorency, who whatever + she might be, did not lack certainly + womanly qualities and had been the sport of + an unkind world. Having something to live + for, the two-nosed gentleman signed with a + Detroit dime museum company at seventy-five + dollars a week. His two noses were not the + most remarkable thing about him, for in course + of time hearing of young William’s misadventure, + he sent him a sum equivalent to all + the episode had cost him, together with a + handsome diamond stud, which he had with + great deftness and cleverness taken from the + officious policeman, as he visited the dime + museum with two ladies while spending his + vacation in Detroit. And this beautiful ornament + William delighted to wear, not merely + <a class="pagenum" id="page48" title="48"> </a>because of its intrinsic worth, which was considerable, + but through regard for its thoughtful + and considerate donor.â€</p> + + <p>“The two-nosed man did truly show himself + a man of gratitude, and I am glad to hear of + such an instance. Yet from what you said of + him in the beginning of the tale, I should not + have expected it of him. How often is one + deceived by appearances and how hard it is to + trust to them.â€</p> + + <p>“Even the wisest is unable to distinguish an + enemy wearing the guise of a friend, but we + may bring to our assistance the aid of forces + more powerful than our poor little human intelligence. + Let me present you with a talisman + which will ever warn you when any one plots + against you.â€</p> + + <p>“How?â€</p> + + <p>“How? You must wait until some one plots + against you and the talisman will answer that + question. Its ways of warning will be as manifold + as the plots villains may conceive. Here + is the talisman, an Egyptian scarabæus of pure + gold. So cunningly fashioned is it that not + nature itself made ever a bug more perfect in + the outward seeming.â€</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_5" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page49" title="49"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Putting</span> the scarabæus in his left + trousers pocket, Mr. Middleton departed, + and as he went about his + affairs during the next several days, + he ceased to think of the talisman, but on the + fourth day his attention was recalled to it in a + way that indeed seemed to prove that it was a + charm possessed of the powers the emir of the + tribe of Al-Yam had attributed to it. He was + faring northward in a street car at eleven of + the morning, diverting himself with the study + of the passengers sitting opposite, when he + became aware that the scarabæus in his left + trousers pocket was slowly traveling up his leg. + Had the talisman been other than the heavy + object it was, he would not have noticed it, but + it was of too considerable weight to travel over + his person without making its progress felt. + Deterred by none of the superstitious tremors + which the unaccountable peregrinations of the + gold beetle would have excited in one less + <a class="pagenum" id="page50" title="50"> </a>intrepid, he quickly thrust his hand into his + pocket to close it over another hand already + there, a hand which beyond a first little start + to escape, lay passive and unresisting, a hand + soft and delicate, yet well-muscled withal, + long-fingered and finely formed. At the same + time, a well-modulated voice at his side exclaimed:</p> + + <p>“Why, I did not recognize you at first. I + was not looking when you came and you evidently + did not notice me.â€</p> + + <p>“No, I did not,†said Mr. Middleton, composedly, + still retaining his grasp upon the hand + in his pocket. “I cannot see that you have + changed any,†he continued, scrutinizing the + young woman at his side, for she was young + and, moreover, of a very pleasing presence, + and he did not altogether rebel against the + circumstances that allowed him to fondle the + hand of one so comely. The day, which had + begun with a slight chill, had turned off warm + and she had removed her cloak, which, lying + across her own lap and partially across Mr. + Middleton’s, had been the blind behind which + she had introduced her hand into the pocket + where reposed the fateful talisman.</p> + + <p>The persons in the car seemed to take an + <a class="pagenum" id="page51" title="51"> </a>interest in this sudden recognition on the part + of a pair who had been riding side by side for + so long, oblivious of each other’s identity. + Moreover, the young woman was tastefully + gowned and of a very smart appearance, while + Mr. Middleton’s new suit became him and + fitted him nicely and altogether they were a + couple nearly any one would find pleasure in + looking upon. A slight movement to withdraw + the hand lying within his own, caused + Mr. Middleton’s grasp to tighten and almost + simultaneously, the young woman at his side + leaned forward and with a look in which sorrow + and pain were mingled, said in a lowered + voice:</p> + + <p>“Oh, I have such a dreadful thing to tell + you about our friend Amy. I hate to tell you, + but as I wish to bespeak your kind offices, I + must do so. I am going to ask you to be the + agent of a restitution. She has, oh, she has + become a kleptomaniac. With every luxury, + with her fine home on the Lake Shore Drive, + with all her father’s wealth, with no want + money can gratify, she takes things. In her + circumstances it is out of the question to call it + stealing. It is a mania, a form of insanity. + When she is doing it, she seems to be in the + <a class="pagenum" id="page52" title="52"> </a>grasp of some other mind, to be another person, + and her actions are involuntary, unconscious. + Then she seems to come to herself, + when her agony is dreadful to behold.â€</p> + + <p>The young woman’s voice broke a little + here, she paused a moment to resume control + of herself, and perceiving her eyes swimming + with tears and her lips quivering with unhappiness, + Mr. Middleton was penetrated with pity + and pressed most tenderly and sympathetically + the delicate hand of which he was temporarily + custodian.</p> + + <p>“She took things in stores, trumpery, cheap + things. She took magazines and penny papers + from news stands. But oh, she descended to + the dreadful depths of—oh, I can hardly tell + it—she was detected in trying to pick a man’s + pocket. It is here that I wish to employ you + as an agent of restitution, or rather retribution, + I should say. Will you please take this ring + off my left hand and take it to the man she + tried to rob? I cannot use the fingers of my + right hand owing to temporary incapacitation,†+ and she held out to Mr. Middleton her left + hand, upon the third finger of which gleamed a + splendid ring of diamonds and emeralds. Mr. + Middleton possessed himself of this second + <a class="pagenum" id="page53" title="53"> </a>hand, but paused, and regarding the sweet face + turned up to his so beseechingly, so piteously, + said:</p> + + <p>“But that would be compounding a felony. + And how do you know the man will not have + her arrested anyway?â€</p> + + <p>“The man is a gentleman and having heard + her story, will not think of such a thing. You + are to ask him to accept the ring not as a price + for immunity from arrest, but as a punishment, + a retribution to Amy. The loss of the ring, + which she has commissioned me to get to this + gentleman in some manner, will be a lesson she + is only too anxious to give herself, a forcible + reminder, as it were. Let me beg of you to + undertake this commission.â€</p> + + <p>All the while, Mr. Middleton was retaining + hold of both the hands of the sorrowful young + woman. Had they been other than the soft + and shapely hands they were, had they been + hard and gnarled and large, long before would + he, melted by compassion at the young woman’s + tale, have released her. But her very + charms had been her undoing and because of + her perfect hands, this tale has grown long. + That he might have excuse in the eyes of the + other passengers for holding the young woman’s + <a class="pagenum" id="page54" title="54"> </a>hand, Mr. Middleton removed the ring as he + had been bidden, planning to return it shortly. + As he removed the ring, he released the hand + in his pocket and his plan was frustrated by + the young woman starting up with the exclamation + that she had passed her corner, and + springing from the car. She was so far in + advance of him, when he succeeded in getting + off the car and was walking so rapidly, that he + could not overtake her except by running, and + he was averse to attracting the attention that + this would occasion. So he determined to + shadow her and ascertaining her residence, find + some means of restoring the ring without the + knowledge of her friends, as he had no desire + to do anything which might cause them to + learn of her unfortunate infirmity, especially, + as this last experience might have worked a + cure. She did indeed enter a stately mansion + of the Lake Shore Drive—but by the back + door.</p> + + <p>Pondering upon this episode, Mr. Middleton + went to an acquaintance who kept a large loan + bank on Madison Street, who, after discovering + that he had no desire to pawn the ring, + appraised it at seven hundred dollars.</p> + + <p>On the following evening, Mr. Middleton + <a class="pagenum" id="page55" title="55"> </a>was replacing his new suit by his old, as was + his custom when he intended to remain in his + room of an evening. This example cannot be + too highly commended to all young men. The + amount which would be saved in this nation + were all to economize in this way, would be + sufficient to buy beer for all the Teutonic citizens + of the large state of Illinois. As Mr. + Middleton was changing his clothes, the scarabæus + dropped from his pocket and as he + picked it up, a collar button fell from his neckband, + and scrambling for it as it rolled toward + the unexplored regions under his bed, he + tripped and sprawled at full length, his nose + coming in sharp contact with an evening paper + lying on the floor. He was about to rise from + his recumbent position, when his eyes, glancing + along his nose to discover if it had sustained + any injury, observed that said member + rested upon a notice which read:</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>“Lost, a diamond and emerald ring. $800 + will be paid for its return and no questions + asked. <span class="signature">David O. Crecelius.â€</span></p> + </blockquote> + + <p style="clear:both;">The address was that of the house on the + Lake Shore Drive which the kleptomaniac + had entered! Once more did the scarabæus + seem to be exerting its influence. But for the + <a class="pagenum" id="page56" title="56"> </a>talisman, he would never have seen the notice, + and a little shiver ran through him as he + thought of this. Immediately he reclothed + himself in his new suit.</p> + + <p>“There is time for me to think out a course + of action between here and my destination,†+ said he. “The walking so conducive to reflection + can be much better employed in taking + me toward the Lake Shore Drive, than in uselessly + pacing my room, and I’ll be there when + I get through.â€</p> + + <p>As he traveled eastward, he engaged in a + series of ratiocinative processes and the result + of the deductive and inductive reasoning which + he applied to the case in hand, was as follows:</p> + + <p>The kleptomaniac could hardly be a daughter + of the house. She would have entered by the + front door. If she were the daughter of the + house, she would not have had the ring advertised + for, counting herself fortunate to get out + of the difficulty so cheaply. However, if her + parents had noted the absence of the ring, she + might have said it was lost and so they advertised, + but nothing could have been further + from her wishes, for there would be the great + danger that the outcome of the advertisement + would be a complete exposure. She could + <a class="pagenum" id="page57" title="57"> </a>easily prevent her parents noticing the ring was + gone, at least making satisfactory explanations + for not wearing it. With her wealth, she + could have it duplicated inside of a few days + and her friends never know the original was + lost. As this is what the daughter of the house + in all probability would have done, the kleptomaniac + could hardly have been the daughter of + the house. He suspected that she was a lady’s + maid, who, wearing her mistress’s jewelry, had + purchased her way out of one difficulty at the + risk of getting into another. The advertisement + would seem to indicate that she was + trusted. The disappearance of the ring was + apparently not connected with her. The matter + was very simple. He would hand over the + ring and take the eight hundred dollars and + need say nothing that would implicate the + young woman, be she daughter of the house + and kleptomaniac, or serving-maid and common + thief. But one thing puzzled him. Why + was the reward greater than the value of the + ring?</p> + + <p>Eight hundred dollars. The young lady in + Englewood was getting nearer.</p> + + <p>A bitter east wind was blowing as he walked + up to the entrance of the mansion of Mr. David + <a class="pagenum" id="page58" title="58"> </a>Crecelius. Behind him the street lay all deserted + and the melancholy voice of the waves + filled the air. Nowhere could he see a light + about the house and he was oppressed by a feeling + of undefinable apprehension as he pressed + the bell. A considerable interval elapsing without + any one appearing and a second and a + third ringing failing to elicit any response + from within the silent pile, he was about to + depart, feeling greatly relieved that it was not + necessary to hold parley with any one within + the gloomy and forbidding edifice, when he + heard a sudden light thud at his feet and discovered + that the scarabæus had dropped + through a hole in his trousers’ pocket which + had at that moment reached a size large enough + to allow it to escape. After a hurried search, + he had possessed himself of the talisman and + was about to depart, when the door swung + open before him and a venerable white-haired + man stood in a dim green glow. Boldly did + Mr. Middleton enter, for had not the talisman + delayed him until the venerable man + opened the door?</p> + + <p>“Come in, sir, come in,†said the venerable + man, whom Mr. Middleton saw was none other + than David O. Crecelius, the capitalist, whose + <a class="pagenum" id="page59" title="59"> </a>portraits he had seen again and again in the + Sunday papers and the weekly papers of a + moral and entertaining nature, accompanying + accounts of his life and achievements, with + exhortations to the youth of the land to imitate + them, advice which Mr. Middleton then + and there resolved to follow, reflecting upon + the impeccable sources from which it emanated.</p> + + <p>“All the servants seem to be gone. My + family is abroad and the household force has + been cut down, and I have given everybody + leave to go out to-night, all but one maid, and + she seems to have gone, too,†said Mr. Crecelius, + leading Mr. Middleton into a spacious + salon and seating him near where great portières + of a funereal purple moved uneasily in + the superheated atmosphere of the house. At + that moment, a voice from the hallway, a voice + he had surely heard before, said:</p> + + <p>“Did some one ring? I am very sorry, but + it was impossible for me to come,†and Mr. + Middleton was aware that some one was looking + hard at the back of his head.</p> + + <p>“Yes. I let them in. It’s no matter. Run + away now.â€</p> + + <p>When Mr. Middleton had finished explaining + <a class="pagenum" id="page60" title="60"> </a>the reason for his call and had fished up + the ring, Mr. Crecelius did not, as he had + expected he would, arise and make out a check + for $800.</p> + + <p>“This ring,†said that gentleman after a + little pause, “have you it with you?â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton glanced at the hollow of his + left hand. He had fished up the scarabæus + instead of the ring. But his left thumb soon + showed him the ring was safe in his vest + pocket. The delay and caution of Mr. Crecelius, + and above all, the prevention of the + immediate delivery of the ring caused by the + scarabæus coming up in its stead caused Mr. + Middleton to delay.</p> + + <p>“It can be produced,†said he.</p> + + <p>“How did you get it?â€</p> + + <p>“It came into my possession innocently + enough so far as I was concerned. As to the + person from whom I received it, that is a + different matter, but though I made no promises, + I feel I am in honor bound not to disclose + that person’s identity.â€</p> + + <p>As he uttered these words, Mr. Middleton + saw the portière at his side rustle slightly. It + was not the swaying caused by the currents of + overheated air.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page61" title="61"> </a>“I will give you two hundred dollars more + to tell me who gave you or sold you the + ring.â€</p> + + <p>“I cannot do that.â€</p> + + <p>“Very well. I’ll only give you four hundred + dollars reward.â€</p> + + <p>“The ring is worth more than that.â€</p> + + <p>“If you retain it, or sell it, you become a + thief.â€</p> + + <p>“You have advertised eight hundred dollars + reward and no questions asked. I may have + found it. Knowing of your loss through reading + your advertisement, I may have gone to + great trouble to recover it. At any rate, I + have it. I deliver it. Your advertisement is + in effect a contract which I can call upon you + to carry out. The ring is not mine, but for my + services in getting it, I am entitled to the eight + hundred dollars you agree to give. You cannot + give less.â€</p> + + <p>“Do you think it right to take advantage of + my necessity in this way? You ought to + accept less. The ring is not worth over seven + hundred dollars. For returning it, three hundred + dollars ought to be enough. It is wrong + to drive a hard bargain by taking advantage of + my necessity.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page62" title="62"> </a>“You have built your fortune on such principles. + You have engineered countless schemes + and your dollars came from the straits you + reduced others to.â€</p> + + <p>“But do you think it right? What I may + have done, does not justify you. I venture to + say you and other young chaps have sat with + heels cocked up and pipes in mouth and discussed + me and called me a villain for doing + what you are trying to do with me.â€</p> + + <p>“I have indeed. But that was in the past + and I have changed my views materially. At + present, I have the exclusive possession of the + ability to secure something you very much + want. You offered eight hundred dollars. + Intrinsically, the ring is not worth it, but for + certain reasons, possession of the ring is worth + eight hundred dollars.â€</p> + + <p>“Possession of the ring! Certain reasons!†+ said Mr. Crecelius, springing to his feet and + pacing up and down the room angrily. As + Mr. Middleton was cudgelling his brains to find + some reason for this outburst of anger, he + became cognizant of a small piece of folded + paper lying near his feet. He was about to + pick it up and hand it to the financier, when he + was stayed by the reflection that it might have + <a class="pagenum" id="page63" title="63"> </a>dropped from his own pocket and examining + it, read:</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>“It’s his wife’s ring. I wore it along with + some of her other things. Ten years ago, he + gave it to another woman, and his wife found + it out and he had to buy it back. He is afraid + his wife will think he gave the ring away a + second time. That is why I dared give it to + you. Make him give you a thousand.</p> + <p class="signature2">“The One You Didn’t Give Away.â€</p> + + + </blockquote> + + <p>Mr. Middleton put the note in his pocket, + and the eminent capitalist having ceased pacing + and standing gazing at him, he remarked:</p> + + <p>“Certain reasons, such as preventing an + altercation with your wife over her suspicions + that you had not lost the ring, but had disposed + of it as on a former occasion ten years + since.â€</p> + + <p>“Young man, you cannot blackmail me. + My wife knows all about that. The knowledge + of that occurrence is worthless as a piece + of blackmail.â€</p> + + <p>“As blackmail, yes; but not worthless as an + indication of the extent you desire to regain + possession of the ring. Your wife knows of + your former escapade and that is gone and + <a class="pagenum" id="page64" title="64"> </a>past. But the present disappearance of the + ring will cause her to think you have repeated + the escapade. This knowledge of certain conditions + causes me to see that my services in + securing and delivering the ring are worth one + thousand dollars. Upon the payment of that + sum, cash, I hand you the ring.â€</p> + + <p>The distinguished money-king gave Mr. + Middleton a very black look and then left the + room to return almost immediately with a + thousand dollars in bills, which Mr. Middleton + counted, placed in his vest pocket, and forthwith + delivered the ring. As he did so, yielding + to the pride with which the successful outcome + of his tilt with the great capitalist inflamed + him, he remarked with a condescension + which the suavity of his tones could not conceal:</p> + + <p>“Had you, sir, employed in this affair the + perspicacity you have displayed on so many + notable occasions, it would have occurred to + you that this ring, being of a common pattern, + could be duplicated for seven hundred dollars + and so you be saved both money and + worry.â€</p> + + <p>A look of admiration overspread the face of + the eminent manipulator, and grasping Mr. + <a class="pagenum" id="page65" title="65"> </a>Middleton’s hand with great fervor, he exclaimed:</p> + + <p>“A man after my own heart. I am always + ready to acknowledge a defeat. You have + good stuff in you. I must know you better. + You must stay and have a glass of champagne + with me. I will get it myself,†and he hurried + out of the room.</p> + + <p>In the state of Wisconsin, from which Mr. + Middleton hailed, there is a great deal of the + alcoholic beverage, beer, but such champagne + as is to be found there is all due to importation, + since it is not native to the soil, but is + brought in at great expense from France, La + Belle France, and New Jersey, La Belle New + Jersey. Mr. Middleton had seen, smelled, and + tasted beer, but champagne was unknown to + him save by hearsay, and his improper curiosity + and his readiness to succumb to temptation + caused him to linger in the salon of + Mr. Crecelius, thereby nearly accomplishing + his ruin. Suddenly there was a patter of + light steps across the floor, a hand fell lightly + on his shoulder and a voice lightly on his + ear.</p> + + <p>“You made him raving mad when you said + what you did. He telephoned the police. + <a class="pagenum" id="page66" title="66"> </a>Now he has gone for the wine and will try to + hold you until they come.â€</p> + + <p>“But he cannot arrest me. I have done + nothing,†said Mr. Middleton, his heart going + pit-a-pat, in spite of the boldness of his words.</p> + + <p>“He can make all sorts of trouble for you. + Even if you did come out all right in the end, + think of the trouble. Come, come quick!â€</p> + + <p>A soft hand had grasped one of his and he + was up and away, following his fair guide up + stairs, through the house, and down into the + kitchen.</p> + + <p>“I have recovered my wits a bit,†said Mr. + Middleton. “He is so angry that he has no + thought but immediate vengeance, and so + accordingly telephones the police, and if they + were to catch me here, it certainly would be + bad. But to-morrow he will be in a mood to + appreciate the good sense of the letter I shall + send him, calling his attention to the fact that + if he arrests me, in the trial there must come + out the reason why I demanded one thousand + dollars, the story of his domestic indiscretion, + and so he will not think of pursuing the matter + further.â€</p> + + <p>“It was very kind and very noble of you not + to expose me,†said the young woman in a + <a class="pagenum" id="page67" title="67"> </a>voice in which gratitude and sadness were + mingled; “and all the admiration and gratitude + a woman can feel under such circumstances, I + feel toward you. To you I owe my continued + good name and even my very freedom. I + know that marriage with such as you, is not + for such as me. I am going to ask you to give + to her who would have all, but expects and + deserves nothing, the consolation of a kiss. + Whatever happy maiden may be so fortunate + as to receive your love, I shall have treasured + in memory the golden remembrance that once + my preserver bestowed on me the symbol of + love.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton looked down at the girl, supplicating + for the favor her sex is wont to deny, + and he said to himself that seldom had he seen + a more flower-like face. Her lovely lips were + already puckered in a rosy pout, her hands + raised ready to rest on his shoulders as he + should encircle her with his arms, when he + noted with a start that her eyes, snapping, + alert, and eager, were bent not upon his face, + but upon his upper left hand vest pocket, + where bulged the one thousand dollars in bills.</p> + + <p>“I am more than honored and I shall be + ravished with delight to comply. But here, + <a class="pagenum" id="page68" title="68"> </a>where we stand, we are exposed to view from + three sides. If Mr. Crecelius were to look in + and see you being kissed by me, whom he so + dislikes, in what a bad plight you would be. + Not even for the exquisite pleasure of kissing + you would I subject you to such a danger. But + in the shadow by the outer door, we would not + be seen.â€</p> + + <p>As he said these words, Mr. Middleton + placed the money in his inside vest pocket, + buttoned his vest, buttoned his inner coat, and + buttoned his overcoat, moving toward the outer + door as he did so, the young woman following + him more and more slowly, the light in her + eyes dying with each successive buttoning. In + fact, she did not enter into the shadow at all, + and Mr. Middleton stepped back a bit when he + threw his arms about her and pressed her to his + bosom. Perfunctorily and coldly did she yield + to his embrace, but whatever ardor was lacking + on her part, was compensated for by Mr. Middleton, + who clasped her with exceeding tightness + and showered kisses upon her pouting lips + until she pushed him from her, exclaiming with + annoyance:</p> + + <p>“You’ve kissed me quite enough, you great + big softy.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page69" title="69"> </a>Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions + when on the ensuing evening he sat in the + presence of the young lady of Englewood, nor + did he, when on the evening thereafter he once + more sat in the presence of the urbane prince + of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a + bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed + began to narrate The Adventure of Nora Sullivan + and the Student of Heredity.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_6" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page70" title="70"> </a>The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">It was</span> the time of full moon. As the + orb of day dropped its red, huge disk + below the western horizon, over the + opposite side of the world, the moon, + even more huge and scarcely less red, rose to + irradiate with its mild beams the scenes which + the shadows of darkness had not yet touched. + Miss Nora Sullivan, a teacher in the public + schools of the metropolis, sat upon the front + porch of the paternal residence enjoying the + loveliness of the vernal prospect and the balm + of the air, for it was in the flowery month of + June. Although the residence of Timothy + Sullivan was well within the limits of the + municipality of Chicago, one visiting at that + hospitable abode might imagine himself in the + country. From no part of the enclosure + could you, during the leafy season, see another + human habitation. A quarter of a mile down + the road to the east, the electric cars for Calumet + could be seen flitting by, but except at the + intervals of their passing, there was seldom + <a class="pagenum" id="page71" title="71"> </a>anything to suggest that the location was part + of a great city. A quarter of a mile to the + west, on the edge of a marsh—a situation well + suited to such culture—lived a person engaged + in the raising of African geese. As it is + probable that you may never have heard of + African geese, I will tell you that they are the + largest of their tribe and that specimens of + them often weigh as high as seventy pounds.</p> + + <p>The person engaged in the culture of African + geese was Wilhelm Klingenspiel, a man of + German ancestry, but born in this country. + Miss Sullivan had often heard of him, she had + even partaken of the left leg of an African + goose, which leg he had given Mr. Sullivan + for the Sunday dinner, but she had never + seen him. As Wilhelm Klingenspiel was + young and single and as no other man of any + description lived in the vicinity, it is not + strange that Nora, who was also young and + single, should sometimes fall to thinking of + Mr. Klingenspiel and wonder what manner of + man he was.</p> + + <p>On this evening so attuned to romantic + reveries, when the flowers, the birds, and all + nature spoke of love, more than ever did Nora + Sullivan’s thoughts turn toward the large grove + <a class="pagenum" id="page72" title="72"> </a>of trees to the westward in the midst of which + Wilhelm Klingenspiel had his home and carried + on his pleasant and harmless vocation of + raising African geese. The evening song of + the geese, tempered and sweetened by distance, + came to her, accompanied by the most + extraordinary booming and racketing of frogs + which is to be heard outside of the tropical + zone; for not only did Klingenspiel raise the + largest geese on this terraqueous globe, but + having, as a means of cheapening the cost of + their production, devoted himself to the increasing + of their natural food, by principles + well known to all breeders he had developed a + breed of frogs as monstrous among their kind + as African geese are among theirs. By these + huge batrachians was an extensive marsh inhabited, + and battening upon the succulent + nutriment thus afforded, the African geese + gained a size and flavor which was rapidly + making the fortune of Wilhelm Klingenspiel.</p> + + <p>Nora had often meditated upon plans for + making the acquaintance of Wilhelm, but it + was plain that he was either very bashful or so + immersed in his pursuits as to be indifferent + to the charms of woman, for he had never + made an attempt to see Nora in all the six + <a class="pagenum" id="page73" title="73"> </a>months she had been his neighbor, and she + was well worth seeing.</p> + + <p>Accordingly, she decided that if she did not + wish to indefinitely postpone making the + acquaintance of the poulterer, she must take + the initiative. Timothy Sullivan was a market + gardener. Klingenspiel was not the only man + in the neighborhood who grew big things. + Mr. Sullivan was experimenting upon some + cabbages of unusual size. He had started + them in a hothouse during the winter. Later + transferred to the garden, they had attained + an amplitude such as few if any cabbages had + ever attained before. In the pleasant light of + the moon, even now was he engaged with the + cabbages, pouring something upon them from + a watering pot. As she watched her father, + it occurred to Nora that she could find no + more suitable excuse for visiting Mr. Klingenspiel + than in carrying him some present in + return for the goose’s left leg he had presented + her family for a Sunday dinner, and + that there was no more appropriate present + than one of the great cabbages.</p> + + <p>No sooner had her father gone in than, + selecting the largest cabbage, she started off + with it, putting it in a small push-cart, as it + <a class="pagenum" id="page74" title="74"> </a>was so large as to be too heavy and inconvenient + to carry. It was somewhat late to + call, but the evening was so delightful that + Wilhelm Klingenspiel could hardly have gone + to bed. Proceeding on her way, as the road + passed into the swampy land of Klingenspiel’s + domain, her attention was engaged by the fact + that a most singular commotion was taking + place among the giant batrachians at some + remote place south of the road. Their ordinary + calls had increased both in volume and + frequency, and at intervals she heard the + sound of crashing in the brake and brush, as if + some objects of unheard of size were falling + into the marsh. Looking in the direction + whence the sounds came, she saw indistinct + and vague against the night sky, an enormous + rounded thing rise in the air and descend, + whereupon was borne to her another of the + strange crashings. These inexplicable sounds + and the inexplicable sight would have frightened + Miss Sullivan had she not the resources + with which modern science fortifies the mind + against credulity and superstition. The round + object, she told herself, was some sudden puff + of smoke on a railway track far beyond; the + crashing was the shunting of cars, which + <a class="pagenum" id="page75" title="75"> </a>things, coming coincidentally with a battle of + the frogs, to an ignorant mind would appear + to be a phenomenon in the immediate vicinity. + Bearing in mind that this seemingly real, but + impossible, phenomenon could only be due to a + fortuitous concatenation of actual occurrences, + Nora was not disturbed in her mind. + Leaving her cart some little distance up the + road, in order that she might not be seen in + the undignified position of pushing it, she + walked into Klingenspiel’s front yard, bearing + her gift.</p> + + <p>The two-story white house of Wilhelm + Klingenspiel seemed to be deserted. Despite + the genial season, every door was shut, and so + was every window, so far as Nora could see, + for if any windows were open down stairs, at + least the blinds were shut. There were no + blinds in the second story. Looking around + in no little disappointment, she was astonished + to see a row of sheds and fences in rear of the + house had been demolished as if struck by a + cyclone and that a goodly sized barn had departed + from its normal position and with frame + intact was lying on its side like a toy barn tipped + over by a child. As she was gazing upon this + ruinage and striving to conjecture what had + <a class="pagenum" id="page76" title="76"> </a>caused it, she heard a voice, muffled and + strange, yet distinctly audible, saying:</p> + + <p>“Ribot is running amuck, Ribot is running + amuck,†and looking up she beheld, darkly + visible against the panes of an upper story + window, a human form. As she looked, the + form disappeared and presently a person + rushed from the front door, hauled her into the + house and upstairs, where she found herself + still holding her cabbage and observing a short + man of a full habit, with a round moon face, + illuminated by a large pair of spectacles that + sustained themselves with difficulty upon a + very snub nose. He was nearly bald, yet + nevertheless of a kindly, studious, and astute + appearance. One did not need to look twice + to see that Wilhelm Klingenspiel was a + scholar.</p> + + <p>“What—what—what is the matter?†+ exclaimed Nora.</p> + + <p>“Ribot is running amuck.â€</p> + + <p>“Who is Ribot?â€</p> + + <p>Klingenspiel was about to answer, when the + whole air was filled with what one would have + called a squeal if it had been one fiftieth part + so loud, and over a row of willow bushes across + the road leapt an astounding great creature, + <a class="pagenum" id="page77" title="77"> </a>twice as large as the largest elephant, and Nora + began to realize that her scientific deductions + regarding the phenomenon in the swamp had + been utterly erroneous. The creature was of + an oblong build, rounded in contour, and its + hide was marked by large blotches of black + and rufous yellow upon a ground of white. + With extreme swiftness the creature scurried + down the road, its legs being so short in proportion + to its body and moving with such + twinkling rapidity that it seemed to be propelled + upon wheels. The appearance of this + strange monster and the appalling character of + its squealing, caused Nora to tremble like a + leaf, but the animal having departed, a laudable + curiosity made her forget her fears, and + she asked:</p> + + <p>“What is it?â€</p> + + <p>“That was Ribot.â€</p> + + <p>“Who and what is Ribot?â€</p> + + <p>“Ribot was a celebrated French scientist, an + authority on the subject of heredity. You + doubtless know something of the subject, how + certain traits appear in families generation + after generation. Accidental traits, if repeated + for two or three generations, often become + inherent traits. To show you to what a strange + <a class="pagenum" id="page78" title="78"> </a>extent this is true, I will call your attention to + the case of the ducal house of Bethune in + France, where three successive generations having + had the left hand cut off at the wrist in + battle, the next three generations were born + without a left hand.â€</p> + + <p>The erudite dissertation of Wilhelm Klingenspiel + was here interrupted by the reappearance + of the mottled monster, who, with a scream + that filled the blue vault of heaven, rushed into + the yard and paused before a mighty oak, + whose sturdy trunk had stood rooted in that + soil before the city of Chicago existed, before + the United States was born, when Cahokia was + the capital of Illinois and the flag of France + waved over the great West. The flash of terrible + white teeth showed in the moonlight as + the monster gnawed at the base of the tree a + few times and with a crash its leafy length lay + upon the ground. Contemplating for a brief + space the ruin it had wrought, the monster + emitted another of its appalling screams and + was off once more on its erratic, aimless + course.</p> + + <p>“What in the world is this awful creature?†+ cried Nora.</p> + + <p>“The subject of heredity,†resumed Klingenspiel, + <a class="pagenum" id="page79" title="79"> </a>“is one of vast importance, and + although its principles are well understood, + man has hitherto not touched the possibilities + that can be accomplished. The span of a + man’s life is so short that in selecting and + breeding choice strains of animals, an individual + can see only a comparatively small + number of generations succeed each other. + Suppose some one family had for two hundred + years carried on continuous experiments in + breeding any race of animals. What remarkable + results would have been attained! Behold + what remarkable results are attained in raising + varieties of plants, where the swiftness of succeeding + generations enables man to accomplish + what he seeks in a very short time. Observing + the difficulties that confront the animal + breeder and wishing to see in my own lifetime + certain results that might ordinarily be expected + only in a duration of several lifetimes, + I sought an animal which came to maturity + rapidly, whose generations succeeded each + rapidly. At the same time, I wanted an animal + comparatively highly organized, a mammal, + not a reptile.â€</p> + + <p>At this point, his instructive discourse was + interrupted by the reappearance of the monster, + <a class="pagenum" id="page80" title="80"> </a>which charged into the yard with its nose + to the ground, following some scent, sniffing + so loudly that the sound was plainly audible + despite the closed window. After having + hastened about the yard for a few moments it + was off up the road to the eastward, still with + nose to the ground, until coming to the push + cart left at the roadside by Nora, it examined + it carefully and then with a sudden access of + unaccountable rage, fell upon it and demolished + it, beating and chewing it into bits.</p> + + <p>Whatever celerity this terrible beast had + exhibited before, was now completely eclipsed, + as with nose to the ground, it rushed back to + the yard, straight to the house, and rearing on + its hinder quarters, placed its forelegs on the + porch roof, which gave way beneath the ponderous + weight. Not disconcerted by the removal + of this support, the monster continued + to maintain its sitting posture, looking in the + window at the terrified persons beyond, snapping + and gnashing its huge jaws in a manner + terrible to hear and still more terrible to contemplate. + Nora was partially reassured by + observing that the animal’s head was too wide + to go through the window, but the hopes thus + raised were dashed by Klingenspiel moaning:</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page81" title="81"> </a>“He’ll gnaw right through the house, he’ll + chew right through the roof. He’ll get in. + He has smelled that big cabbage and he’ll get + in.â€</p> + + <p>“In that case,†remarked Nora, with decision, + “I’ll not wait for him to come in to get + the cabbage, but throw it out to him,†and + raising the window, thrust out the cabbage, + which having caught with a deftness unexpected + in a creature of its bulk, the beast + retired a short space and proceeded to eat + with every appearance of enjoyment.</p> + + <p>“In Paris, a few years ago,†resumed Klingenspiel, + “one of the learned faculty that lend + a well deserved renown to the medical department + of that ancient institution, the University + of Paris, discovered an elixir which used during + the period of human growth—and even after—causes + the stature to increase. By depositing + an increased supply of the matter necessary to + the formation of bones, the frame increases and + the fleshy covering grows with it. You have + doubtless read of this in the papers, as I have + seen it mentioned there recently myself——â€</p> + + <p>“I beg your pardon,†interrupted Nora, + “but I must know what that monster is. + Please do not keep me in suspense any longer.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page82" title="82"> </a>“Allow me to develop my discourse in its + natural sequence,†said Klingenspiel. “I + learned of this elixir at the time its originator + first formulated it and as we were friends, I + secured from him the formula——â€</p> + + <p>“What is that animal?†cried Nora, seizing + Klingenspiel’s ear with a dexterity born of long + experience in educational work, and lifting + him slowly toward a position upon the points + of his toes.</p> + + <p>“A guinea pig, a guinea pig, a guinea pig,†+ howled the student of heredity.</p> + + <p>“You guinea, you,†exclaimed Nora in + incredulous amazement, and yet as she looked + at the monster, which having finished the cabbage + was crouching contentedly between two + huge elms, she was struck by the familiarity of + the markings and contour of the tremendous + brute. Turning in such wise that of the + appendices of his countenance it should be his + short and elusive nose instead of his ears presented + toward the grasp of the expert in the + science of pedagogy, Klingenspiel continued.</p> + + <p>“Generations of guinea pigs succeed each + other in less than three months. In less than + ten months, a pair of guinea pigs become + great-grandfather and great-grandmother. In + <a class="pagenum" id="page83" title="83"> </a>a few years, heredity could here do what a + century of breeding horses could not. I + treated a pair of young guinea pigs with the + elixir. Their growth was wonderful. Their + children inherited the size of their parents and + to this the elixir added, and so on, cumulatively, + for successive generations. I kept only + a single pair out of each brood and disposed of + that pair as soon as the next generation became + grown. I did this partly because I could thus + conduct my experiment with greater secrecy. + Besides, after the guinea pigs were large + enough, I found considerable profit in selling + their hides for leather. Unfortunately, the + animal is unfit for food. My labors, therefore, + were bent upon creating a breed of draught + animals, creatures greater than elephants and + with the agility of guinea pigs. A team of + these guinea pigs would outstrip the fastest + horse, though hauling a load of tons. The + hide, too, would be extremely valuable. I had + at last reached a size beyond which I did not + care to go. Ribot and his mate were twice the + bulk of elephants. I was now ready to establish + a herd. But alas! Two days ago, the + mate died. All my labors were for nothing. + I had only the one enormous male left. All + <a class="pagenum" id="page84" title="84"> </a>the connecting links between him and the first + small ancestors are gone. But worse. As is + often the case with male elephants when the + mate dies, Ribot went mad, ran amuck. + Hitherto docile and kind, as is the nature of + the <em lang="la" xml:lang="la">Cavia cobaya</em>, vulgarly called guinea pig, + this evening Ribot became as you have seen + him. I have lost my labors. Momentarily I + expect to lose my life.â€</p> + + <p>“What’s the matter with it now? Look at + it, look at it,†exclaimed Nora.</p> + + <p>Ribot had rolled on his back and after giving + a few feeble twitches of his great legs, remained + without life, his legs pointing stiffly + into the air.</p> + + <p>“He is dead,†said Klingenspiel, and Nora + was unable to tell whether relief and joy or + regret and despair predominated in this utterance. + “Ribot is dead. Our lives are saved, + my experiment is ruined.â€</p> + + <p>Turning toward Nora and scrutinizing her + attentively for the first time, he remarked, + “How white your face is. The strain has + been a dreadful one. It has driven all the + color away from you.†And then letting his + eyes wander over her person until they paused + upon her hands resting in the moonlight upon + <a class="pagenum" id="page85" title="85"> </a>the top of the sash, “and how green your + hands are. What can it be? Paris green,†+ he said after a close examination. “It was + that which killed Ribot.â€</p> + + <p>“I remember now. Father was sprinkling + something on them. It is cabbage worm + time.â€</p> + + <p>“I hope you will allow me to call,†said + Klingenspiel, and Nora graciously assenting, + he continued: “I admire your beauty, I admire + your many admirable qualities of head and + heart, but above all, your decision, your great + decision.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, I don’t think I showed much decision + just because I threw the cabbage out.â€</p> + + <p>“I referred to your taking my ear and learning, + out of its due order in the thesis I was + expounding, what manner of beast Ribot was. + Ribot killed two of my best African geese. + They are, however, still fit for food. I am + going to beg your acceptance of one.â€</p> + + <p>“We will have it for dinner to-morrow,†+ said Nora, “and you must come over.â€</p> + + <p>“I shall be pleased to do so,†said Klingenspiel, + and that was the beginning of a series of + visits to the home of Timothy Sullivan that + resulted in the marriage of Miss Nora and + <a class="pagenum" id="page86" title="86"> </a>Wilhelm Klingenspiel. The latter still raises + African geese there in the vicinity of Stony + Island, but he has made no more experiments + with guinea pigs, for his wife will not hear + to it.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_7" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page87" title="87"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">“What</span> an unpleasant surprise it must + have been to Klingenspiel,†remarked + the emir, when he had completed + his narration, “to find all his + fine experimenting in the science of heredity + merely resulting in nearly accomplishing his + own death.â€</p> + + <p>“His experience is not unique,†said Mr. + Middleton. “There is many an economic, + social, political, or industrial change which is + inaugurated with the highest hopes only to + slay its author in the end.â€</p> + + <p>“We should indeed be careful what waves + we set in motion, what forces we liberate,†+ said the emir thoughtfully. “And I have + been, too. I have in my possession a constant + reminder to be cautious in all my enterprises + and undertakings—a monitor forever bidding + me think of the consequences of an action, weigh + its possible results. It has been in my family + for generations. I believe that our house has + learned the lesson. I would be glad to give it + <a class="pagenum" id="page88" title="88"> </a>to some one who, perchance, has not. If it so + happens that you are in no need of such a + warning, you can perhaps present it to some + one else who is.†And having said a few words + to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, the + blackamore brought to him a small case and, + from the midst of wrappings of dark green + silk, he produced a flask of burnished copper + that shone with the utmost brilliance. Handing + this to Mr. Middleton and that gentleman + viewing it in silence for some time and exhibiting + no other emotion than a mild curiosity, + largely due to its great weight, a ponderosity + altogether out of proportion to its size, the + emir exclaimed in a loud voice:</p> + + <p>“Do you know what you are holding?†and + without waiting for an answer from his startled + guest, continued: “Observe the inscription + upon the side and the stamp of a signet set + upon the seal that closes the mouth.â€</p> + + <p>“I perceive a number of Arabic characters,†+ said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Arabic!†said the emir. “Hebrew. You + are looking upon the seal of the great Solomon + himself and that is the prison house of + one of the two evil genii whom the great king + confined in bottles and cast into the sea. In + <a class="pagenum" id="page89" title="89"> </a>that collection of chronicles which the Feringhis + style the Arabian Nights, you have read of the + fisherman who found a bottle in his net and + opened it to see a quantity of dark vapor issue + forth, which, assuming great proportions, presently + took form, coalesced into the gigantic + figure of a terrible genii, who announced to his + terrified liberator that during his captivity, he + had sworn to kill whomsoever let him out of + the bottle. This well-known occurrence and + stock example of the necessity of being careful + of the possible results of one’s acts, is so + familiar to you as to make its further relation + an impertinence on my part. Suffice it to say, + in cause you have forgotten a minor detail, + there was another genii and another bottle in + the sea beside the one found by the fisherman.</p> + + <p>“The second bottle in some unknown way + came into the possession of Prince Houssein, + brother of my great-grandfather’s great-grandfather, + Nourreddin. This latter prince having + need of a certain amount of coin—which was + very scarce in Arabia at that time and of great + purchasing power, trade being carried on by + barter—sent to his brother a request for a + loan. The country was in a very disturbed + <a class="pagenum" id="page90" title="90"> </a>state at that time and Houssein dispatched two + messengers at an interval of a day apart. The + first of these was robbed and killed. He bore + a letter, concealed in his saddle, and the + money. The second messenger came in entire + safety with that bottle, for no one could be + desirous of trifling with anything so fraught + with danger as that prison house of the terrible + genii. What was the purport of this strange + gift has never been guessed. The letter borne + by the murdered man doubtless explained. + Houssein himself perished of plague before + Nourreddin could learn from him.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton sat holding the enchanted + bottle very gingerly. If he had not feared to + give offence to the emir, he would have declined + the gift, for while not for one moment + did he dream that a demoniac presence fretted + inside that shining copper, he did believe + that it contained some explosive, or what + would be more probable, some mephitic substance + that gave off a deadly vapor. So, fully + resolved to throw the bottle into the river and + being very heedful of Achmed’s injunction not + to let the leaden plug bearing Solomon’s seal + be removed from the mouth, he placed the gift + in his pocket and having thanked the emir for + <a class="pagenum" id="page91" title="91"> </a>his entertainment and instruction and the gift, + he departed.</p> + + <p>When Mr. Middleton had stepped into the + street, he altered his resolution to immediately + dispose of the bottle. He was tired and did + not care to walk to the river. Nor did he wish + to ride there and alight, spending two car fares + to get home. So postponing until the morrow + the casting into the Chicago River of the + unhappy genii who had once reposed on the + bottom of the Persian Gulf, he boarded a car + for home.</p> + + <p>The bulk and weight of the bottle sagging + down his pocket and threatening to injure the + set of his coat, Mr. Middleton held his acquisition + on his knee. A tall, serious-looking + individual was his seat mate, who after regarding + the bottle intently for some time, addressed + him in a low, but earnest voice.</p> + + <p>“Pray pardon my curiosity, but I am going + to ask you what that queer receptacle is.â€</p> + + <p>“It is the prison-house of a wicked genii, + who was shut therein by King Solomon, the + magic influence of whose seal on the plug in the + mouth retains him within, for what resistance + could the physical force of those copper walls + oppose to the strength of that mighty demon?â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page92" title="92"> </a>Of these words did Mr. Middleton deliver + himself, though he knew they must sound + passing strange, but on the spur of the moment + he could not think what else to say and he + hoped that the belief he would create that his + mind was affected would relieve him of further + questioning, for if put to it and pinned down, + what could he say, what plausible account + could he give of the bottle? To his surprise, + the stranger gave no evidence of other than a + complete acceptance of his statement and continuing + to make inquiries in a most respectful + and courteous way, Mr. Middleton felt he + could not be less mannerly himself, and so he + related all he knew of the bottle, avowing his + belief that it contained some dangerous chemical, + such as that devilish corroding stuff known + as Greek fire, or some deadly gas.</p> + + <p>“Your theory sounds reasonable,†said the + stranger; “and yet who knows? That inscription + certainly is Hebrew. At least, it is + neither English nor German. When one has + studied psychic phenomena as long as I have, + he comes to a point where he is very chary of + saying what is not credible. Do I not, time + and again, materialize the dead, calling from + the winds, the waters, and the earth the dispersed + <a class="pagenum" id="page93" title="93"> </a>particles of the corporeal frame to reclothe + for a little time the spiritual essence? + Could not the great Solomon do as much? Is + it not possible that that great moral ensamplar, + guide, saint, and prophet has imprisoned in + that bottle some one of the Pre-Adamite + demons? I am not afraid to open the bottle, + on the contrary, would be glad to do so. I am + a clairvoyant and trance-medium, with materialization + as a specialty. My name is Jefferson + P. Smitz. Here is my card. I have a + seance to-morrow night. Bring your bottle + then, and I will open it. The price of admission + is,†he said, with a glance of tentative + scrutiny, “one dollar,†at which information + Mr. Middleton, looking unresponsive, uninterested, + not to say sulky, he continued: “but as + you will bring such an important and interesting + contribution to the subject of inquiry for + the evening, we will make the admission for + you only fifty cents, fifty cents.â€</p> + + <p>On the following evening, Mr. Middleton + and his bottle sat among a circle of some thirty + persons who were gathered in the gloomy, + lofty-ceiled parlor of Mr. Smitz. Before forming + the circle, Mr. Smitz had addressed the + company in a few well-chosen words, saying + <a class="pagenum" id="page94" title="94"> </a>that a like purpose had brought all there that + night, that as votaries of science and devotees + of truth and persons of culture and refinement, + mutual acquaintance could not but be pleasant + as well as helpful, enabling those who sat + together while witnessing the astounding and + edifying phenomena they were soon to behold, + to discuss these phenomena with reciprocal + benefit—in view of all this, he hoped everybody + would consider themselves introduced to + everybody else.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton, quickly inspecting the assemblage, + whom he doubtless with great injustice + denominated a crowd of sober dubs and + solemn stiffs, so maneuvered that when all had + drawn their chairs into a circle, a man deaf in + the right ear sat at his left, while at his right + sat a tall young lady, who though slightly pale + was of an interesting appearance, notwithstanding. + The somewhat tragic cast of her + large and classic features was intensified by a + pair of great mournful eyes and a wistful + mouth, the whole framed in luxuriant masses + of black hair, and altogether she was a girl + whom one would give a second and third + glance anywhere.</p> + + <p>It developing in their very first exchange of + <a class="pagenum" id="page95" title="95"> </a>remarks that she had never been present at a + seance and that she could not look forward to + what they were about to witness without great + trepidation, Mr. Middleton offered to afford + her every moral support and such physical protection + as one mortal can assure another when + facing the unknown powers of another world. + At the extinguishment of the gas, he took her + left hand, and finding it give a faint tremor, + he took the other and was pleased to note that, + so far as her hands gave evidence, thereupon + her fears were quite allayed.</p> + + <p>A breeze, chill and dank as the breath of a + tomb, blew upon the company, and from the + deep darkness into which they all stared with + straining, unseeing eyes, came the solemn + sound of Mr. Smitz, speaking hurriedly in somber + tones in some sonorous unknown tongue, + and low rustlings and whirrs and soft footfalls + and faint rattlings that grew stronger, louder, + each moment, swelling up into the stamp of a + mailed heel and the clangor of arms as Mr. + Smitz scratched a match and the light of a gas + jet glanced upon helmet, corslet, shield, and + greaves of a brazen-armored Greek warrior, + standing in the middle of the circle, alive, in + full corporeal presence!</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page96" title="96"> </a>“Leonidas, hero of Thermopylæ!†shouted + Mr. Smitz, and then continued at a conversational + pitch, “if any of you wish to speak to + him in his own language, you have full permission + to do so.â€</p> + + <p>Those present lacking either the desire to + accost the dread presence, or a command of + the ancient Greek, after a bit Mr. Smitz turned + off the gas and the noises that had heralded the + visitant’s appearance began in reverse order, + and at their cease, the gas being turned on + again, there was the circle quite bare of any + evidence that a Greek warrior in full panoply + had but now stood there.</p> + + <p>At these prodigies, the young lady trembled, + but you could have applied all sorts of + surgical devices for measuring nerve reaction + to Mr. Middleton from the crown of his head + to where his parallel feet held between them + the copper bottle, and not have detected a + tremor.</p> + + <p>Mr. Smitz was reaching up to extinguish the + gas once more, when a big, athletic blonde + man, whose appearance and garb proclaimed + him an Englishman, interrupted him.</p> + + <p>“I am going to request you to materialize + the spirit with whom I wish to converse, the + <a class="pagenum" id="page97" title="97"> </a>next time. I have to catch a train at eleven + and there are a number of things I would like + to do before that. Yesterday, you promised + me that you would materialize him first + thing.â€</p> + + <p>“Yesterday,†said Mr. Smitz with a slight + hauteur, “I could not look forward and see + that I was to have such a large and cultivated + gathering. You cannot, sir, ask to have your + own mere personal business, for business it is + with you, take precedence of the scientific + quests of all these other ladies and gentlemen. + I have planned to materialize men of many + nations, with whom all may converse if they + please; Confucius, the great Chinese; Cæsar, + the great Roman; Mohammed, the great Turk; + Powhattan, the great Indian, and others. + Your business must wait.â€</p> + + <p>“My friends,†said the Englishman, appealing + to the assemblage, “I throw myself upon + your good nature. My grandfather was the + owner of a small estate in Ireland. In a rebellion, + the Irish burned every building on the + place and it has since been deserted. He had + buried a sum of money before he fled during + the rebellion and we have a chart telling where + it was buried. But the chart referred to buildings + <a class="pagenum" id="page98" title="98"> </a>and trees that were subsequently utterly + destroyed. We have no marks to guide us. I + am sadly in need of money. My grandfather’s + ghost could tell me where the treasure is. I + shall suffer financial detriment if I do not catch + the train at eleven and must attend to several matters + before that. You have heard my case. + May I not ask you all to grant me the indulgence + of having my affair disposed of now?â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton and several others were about + to endorse the justice of the Englishman’s + request, when Mr. Smitz hastily forestalled + them by saying that all should be heard from + and turning to four personages who sat together + at a point where the line of chairs of + the circle passed before a large and mysterious + cabinet set in the corner of the wall, and asking + their opinion, they all four in one voice + began to object to any alteration of the program + of the evening, adverting somewhat to + the Boer War, the oppressions in Ireland, and + to the Revolution and the War of 1812. When + they had done, there was no one who cared to + say a word for the Englishman or an Englishman, + and Mr. Smitz announced that Confucius + would be the next materialization and that all + might address him in his native tongue. Of + <a class="pagenum" id="page99" title="99"> </a>this permission, a small red-head gentleman, + whose demeanor advertised him to be in a + somewhat advanced state of intoxication, + availed himself and remarked slowly:</p> + + <p>“Hello, John. Washee, washee? Sabe + how washee? Wlanter be Melican man?â€</p> + + <p>To this the great sage vouchsafed no reply + save a contemptuous stare, and the red-headed + gentleman observed that doubtless the Chinese + language had changed a good deal in two thousand + years. All languages did.</p> + + <p>From out the darkness under whose cover + the Chinaman was modestly divesting himself + of his body, came the voice of Mr. Smitz, rich, + unctuous, saying:</p> + + <p>“The next visitant will be from that great + race we all admire so much, the noble race + which has done so much to build up this + country, which in every field of American + endeavor has been a guiding star to us all. It + gives me great pleasure to tell you that our + next visitant from the world beyond is that + great soldier, statesman, and patriot, King + Brian Boru.â€</p> + + <p>“Who the devil wants to see that or any + other paddy?†exclaimed the voice of the + Englishman, choleric, savage. “Let me out + <a class="pagenum" id="page100" title="100"> </a>of this blarsted, cheating hole. Who wants to + see one of that race of quarrelsome, thieving, + wretched rapscallions?â€</p> + + <p>Whack! Smash! Bang! Crash! The + assemblage was thrown into a pitiable state + of terror by a most extraordinary combat and + tumult taking place somewhere in the circle. + The remonstrances of Mr. Smitz and the oaths + of the Englishman rose against the general din + of the expostulations of the men and cries of + the women. Match after match was struck by + the men, only to be blown out by some mysterious + agency, after giving momentary + glimpses of the Englishman astride of a man + on the floor, pummelling him lustily, while + Mr. Smitz pulled at the Englishman’s shoulders. + At length the noise died away, the + sound of some one remonstrating, “let me at + him oncet, let me at the spalpeen, he got me + foul,†coming back from some remote region + of the atmosphere, as under the compelling + force of the will of the great Smitz, the bodily + envelope of the Irish hero was dissipated and + his soul went back to the beyond.</p> + + <p>Then did a match reach the gas without + being blown out. Beneath the chandelier + stood Mr. Smitz and the four personages who + <a class="pagenum" id="page101" title="101"> </a>had sat before the cabinet and had views on + the Boer War.</p> + + <p>“What an awful, sacrilegious thing you have + done,†exclaimed Mr. Smitz. “You have + struck the dead.â€</p> + + <p>“He hit me first.â€</p> + + <p>“Your remarks about the Irish angered him. + He could not restrain himself.â€</p> + + <p>“Well, he couldn’t whip me. Next time you + materialize him, he’ll show a black eye. Let + me out of here, you cheat, you imposter, you + and your pals, or I’ll fix you as I did Brian + Boru.â€</p> + + <p>Though the company did not take the Englishman’s + view, they were all anxious to go. + They were quite unstrung by what had occurred, + this combat between the living and the dead. + They looked with horrified awe at the spot + where it had taken place. There stood the living + combatant, still full of the fire of battle. + Him whom he had fought was gone on the + winds to the voiceless abodes of the departed, + a breath, a shadow, a sudden chill on the + cheek and nothing more. For a brief space + resuming his old fleshly habitude, with it had + come the cholers and hatreds of the flesh and + once more he avenged his country’s wrongs.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page102" title="102"> </a>“Say,†said the Englishman, with a malign + look on his face, as he paused in the door, “if + you’ve got that mick patched up any down in + the kitchen, I’ll give him another chance, if + he wishes. Tell him to pick a smaller man + next time.â€</p> + + <p>To this, Mr. Smitz made no reply, but + flashed a look that would have frozen any one + less insolent and truculent than the Englishman.</p> + + <p>All this time Mr. Middleton had been very + agreeably employed in a corner of the room, + for the young lady in an access of terror had + thrown herself into his arms and there she had + remained during the whole affrighting performance. + To forerun any possible apprehension + that he was going to extricate himself and + leave her, he held her with considerable firmness, + whispering encouragement into her ear + the while. Preparing to accompany her home, + he had almost left the room before he bethought + him of the copper bottle, which he had abandoned + when springing up to get the young lady + out of the circle and away from danger. He + soon found it lying against the wall, whither it + had rolled or been kicked during the melee.</p> + + <p>The young lady continuing to be in a somewhat + <a class="pagenum" id="page103" title="103"> </a>prostrated state after her late experience, + on the way home Mr. Middleton supported + her by his right arm about her waist, while she + found further stay by resting her left arm + across his shoulders, she being a tall young + lady. Their remaining hands met in a clasp + of cheer and encouragement on his part, of + trusting dependence on hers. Arriving at her + door in this fashion, it was but natural for Mr. + Middleton—who was a very natural young + man—to clasp her in a good-night embrace, + but upon essaying to put the touch of completion + to these joys which a kiss would give, she + drew away her head, saying:</p> + + <p>“Why, how dare you, sir! I never met you + before. Why, I haven’t even been formally + introduced to you.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton humbly pleading for the + salute, she continued to express her surprise + that he should prefer such a request upon no + acquaintance at all, that he should even faintly + expect her to grant it, and so on, all the while + leaning languishing upon his breast with all + her weight. Whereupon Mr. Middleton lost + patience and with incisive sarcasm he began:</p> + + <p>“One would think that you who refuse this + kiss were not the girl who stands here within + <a class="pagenum" id="page104" title="104"> </a>my arms, my lips saying this into her ears, + her cheek almost touching mine. Doubtless + it is some one else. Pray tell me, what great + difference is there between kissing a stranger + and hugging him.â€</p> + + <p>At these brutal, downright words, leaving the + poor young thing nothing to say, no little pretence + even to herself that she had guarded the + proprieties, had comported herself circumspectly, + leaving her with not even a little rag + of a claim that she had conducted herself with + seemly decorum, she sprang from him and + began to cry. Whatever the cause, Mr. Middleton + could not look upon feminine unhappiness + with composure and here where he was + himself responsible, he was indeed smitten + with keen remorse and hastening to comfort + her, gathered her into his arms and there he + was abasing and condemning himself and telling + her what a dear, nice girl she was—and + kissing away her tears.</p> + + <p>“Let me give you a piece of advice,†he + said, fifteen minutes later, as he was about to + release her and depart. “It is not best ever to + let a man hug you. Never,†he said, pausing + to imprint a lingering kiss upon the girl’s + yielding lips, “never let a man kiss you again + <a class="pagenum" id="page105" title="105"> </a>until that moment when you shall become his + affianced wife.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton departed in that serene state + of mind which the consciousness of virtue + bestows, for he had given the young woman + valuable advice that would doubtless be of + advantage to her in the future and he reflected + upon this in much satisfaction as he fared away + with the eyes of the young woman watching + him from where she looked out of the parlor + window.</p> + + <p>Reaching into his right coat pocket to transfer + the copper bottle to the opposite pocket, + in order that his coat might not be pulled out + of shape, as he grasped the neck, one of his + fingers went right into the mouth! The seal of + Solomon was gone! A less resolute and quick-witted + person might have been alarmed, but + reasoning that the seal must have been knocked + off during the fight at Mr. Smitz’s and nothing + had happened since, he boldly examined the + bottle. He could see a white substance as he + looked into it, and by the aid of a stick he fished + out a wad of wool tightly stuffed in the neck. + A metallic chinking followed the removal + of the wadding and set his heart thumping + rapidly. He looked up and down the street. + <a class="pagenum" id="page106" title="106"> </a>No one in sight. He tilted the bottle up to + the light of a street lamp and saw a yellow + gleam. He shook it and into his hands flowed + a stream of gold sequins! He could not sufficiently + admire the ruse of Prince Houssein. + Money on the first messenger there had been + none.</p> + + <p>In a center more given to numismatics, or + had he been willing to wait and sell the coins + gradually, Mr. Middleton might have secured + more than he did for the gold pieces, all + coined at Bagdad in the early caliphates and + very valuable. But he disposed of them in a + lump to a French gentleman on La Salle Street + for fourteen hundred and twenty-five dollars.</p> + + <p>Calling on the young lady of Englewood + within the next few days, he made no reference + to these events, though she asked him + several times during the evening what he had + been doing lately. He did, however, hint at + having profited by a certain fortunate “deal,†+ as he called it, but not a word did he say concerning + the mournful girl or anything remotely + connected with her.</p> + + <p>Hesitating to hurt the emir’s feelings by + exposing the obtuseness of his ancestor Noureddin + and the foolish superstition of his + <a class="pagenum" id="page107" title="107"> </a>descendants ever since, Mr. Middleton said + nothing of these transactions when once more + he sat in the presence of the urbane and + accomplished prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. + Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored + sherbet, the emir began the narration of + The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_8" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page108" title="108"> </a>The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">It was</span> twelve o’clock on a blustery + winter night and Dr. James McDill + was where a married man of forty + ought to be at such an hour in that + season, sleeping soundly by the side of his + beloved wife. But his wife was not sleeping. + At the stroke of the hour, she had suddenly + awoke from refreshing slumber and become + aware of sounds as of persons moving softly + about the room, and after a little, seeing against + the windows faintly illuminated by a distant + street light, two dark figures, she perceived her + ears had not deceived her. Shaking her husband + unavailingly for a considerable time, in + her terror she finally cast discretion to the + winds and shouted:</p> + + <p>“Burglars, Jim, burglars!â€</p> + + <p>Hardly had these words ceased, when the + electric lights were turned on and Dr. McDill + sat up in bed to find himself staring into the + muzzles of three revolvers, held by two masked + <a class="pagenum" id="page109" title="109"> </a>men, who stood looking over the footboard. + Bidding them move at their peril, the man with + two revolvers remained to guard the doctor + and his wife, while the other began to ransack + the room. As he did so, he carried on an + easy, if not eloquent, dissertation upon the + rights of man and the iniquitous conditions + which made it necessary for the poor and + oppressed to obtain by force, if they obtained + at all, any share in the privileges and riches of + the wealthy. As he discoursed, at times carried + away by his theme, he gave over his search + and paused to enforce his points with earnest + gestures. This caused the other robber some + disquietude and he cursed his compatriot and + the doctor and his wife with a use of epithets + that will not bear repeating and which showed + him to be none other than a low ruffian. At + last all the treasure in the room being taken + and the doctor being forced to accompany + them and disclose the repository of other + valuables, the robbers took their departure.</p> + + <p>Some weeks after this, two persons suspected + of being responsible for certain robberies + were taken into custody and the doctor + called into court to identify them if possible.</p> + + <p>“I noticed,†said he, “that the shorter of + <a class="pagenum" id="page110" title="110"> </a>the two masked men was prone to gesticulation + and that he had a fashion of holding his + arms close to his body, as if tied at the elbows, + and with hands fully open, fingers apart, + thumbs extended, and palms upward, waving + his forearms——â€</p> + + <p>At this juncture, the smile on the face of the + defendant’s counsel, occasioned by thus putting + his client upon his guard, was dispelled + by an angry exclamation from the person in + question, and denying with some loquacity and + even more vociferation that he ever made such + a gesture, at the close of his statement, behold, + he made the gesture!</p> + + <p>By the doctor’s testimony was a chain of + incriminating evidence established that led to + a sentence of ten years’ imprisonment being + imposed upon the robbers. When he had + heard the sentence, he of the gestures turned + fiercely toward the doctor and cried:</p> + + <p>“You’ll be killed for this, like other dogs + before you for the same cause. If you’re not + killed before I am discharged or escape, I’ll + kill you. But I am only one of many, a tried + band who avenge;†and hereupon he smote the + rail in front of him, “Knock, knock—knock; + knock, knock—knock.†And from several + <a class="pagenum" id="page111" title="111"> </a>parts of the silent room came answers, faint, + but distinct, two quick taps, a pause, and a + third, then all repeated. “Tap, tap—tap; tap, + tap—tap.â€</p> + + <p>The evidence of confederates, the quick + response to the appeal of their comrade, the + taps that came from everywhere and nowhere, + manifestation of the desperate men surrounding + him, might well have daunted the soul of any + man. Three sentences had been pronounced + that day, a term of years upon Jerry McGuire + and Barry O’Toole, but death upon James + McDill. You may depend upon it that the + doctor was none the more reassured when on + the morrow he learned that McGuire and + O’Toole had escaped. With their anger and + resentment yet hot within them, these men + would doubtless at once set about to encompass + his destruction, and he knew that when + once one of these societies had decreed the + death of a person who balked or incensed + them, every endeavor was used to put the + decree into effect. But, after a little, he took + courage from the very fact that was most + threatening. If these men, these desperate + and despicable scoundrels, could escape from + the barriers of stone and steel and the guardians + <a class="pagenum" id="page112" title="112"> </a>that surrounded them, why might not he + fight for his life and win in the struggle which + both reason and instinct told him was inevitable?</p> + + <p>That those he loved most might not be + involved in the perils he felt certain he was + about to encounter and that his resolution and + his movements might not be hampered by + their presence and their fears, he found means + to persuade his wife to take the children for a + visit to their grandfather, and setting his affairs + in order and providing himself with two revolvers, + a bowie knife, and an Italian stiletto, + he even began to look forward to the approaching + struggle with something of that pleasure + which man experiences in the anticipation of + any contest; and there is indeed a certain keen + zest in playing the game where one’s stake is + one’s life.</p> + + <p>On the evening of the day of his wife’s departure, + he was called to assist in an operation + at a hospital with which he had once been + connected, and unexpected complications arising, + it was not until two in the morning that + he started away. His man and carriage, that + he had ordered to await him, had gone. The + night was mild and it must have been weariness + <a class="pagenum" id="page113" title="113"> </a>or restiveness, that had caused the departure. + Although some distance lay between + the hospital and his home, he started afoot. + Not a soul was to been seen in the street, which, + thanks to the light of the moon late rising in + its last quarter, lay visible to his sight. As he + passed an alleyway, shortly after leaving the + hospital, his attention was attracted by the + sound of snores, and he discovered a man + whose features were well shrouded in the upturned + collar of an ulster, seated with his back + against a house wall, asleep. The man stirred + uneasily as he bent over him, but thinking it + best not to disturb him, the doctor passed on. + As he did so, he became conscious that the + snores had ceased, and looking back, he beheld + the man walk drowsily across the sidewalk and + finally stand gazing in the direction of the + hospital. The doctor began to hasten his + steps, but ever and anon glancing back, and + presently he saw the man was now looking + after him, that he leaned to the right and + leaned to the left, and stooped down in his + scrutinizing. Suddenly the man reached forward + with a cane, smote the sidewalk, “rap, + rap—rap; rap, rap—rap,†and taken up on + either side of the way, louder and louder as it + <a class="pagenum" id="page114" title="114"> </a>came up the street toward the now fleeing doctor, + from sequestered nooks between buildings, + ran the fateful, hurrying volley of “rap, rap—rap; + rap, rap—rap.†The last raps came right + behind the doctor’s heels at the mouth of an + alley he was clearing at a bound, and glancing + back, he saw a succession of men hurrying + silently after him at all speed. He was encumbered + with a long ulster, while his pursuers, if + they had worn overcoats, had now cast them + aside. The man just behind, apparently did + not wish to close in alone, preferring to allow + others to catch up and assist him, and at the + second block the doctor could hear two pairs + of heels behind him and a third pair just + beyond. The pursuers were gaining. Though + he would have to pause to do it, he must throw + off his overcoat. At the third corner, he tore + at the long garment, it swung under his feet, + and he pitched headlong——. He heard a cry + of savage joy and a rush of feet, a sudden great + soft whirr, and he arose to see an automobile + halted between him and his pursuers. A gentleman + of a rotund person, clothed in correct + evening dress and whose speech was of a + thickness to indicate recent indulgence in + intoxicating liquors, alighted from the carriage.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page115" title="115"> </a>“I do not believe thish ish the place. No, + thish ish not the place I told you to come to, + driver. I’m glad it isn’t anyway, as I’m afraid + we’re too drunk to sing a serenade. Here’s + another man as’s drunk, too. So drunk he fell + down on hisself. Couldn’t leave him here. + Never go back on a man as is drunk. Get in + brother. Take you home with us. Get in.â€</p> + + <p>It is needless to say that Dr. McDill responded + to his invitation with the greatest + alacrity and gratitude. For the first time did + the rotund gentleman become aware that there + were other persons present. Some four of the + doctor’s pursuers had now gathered at the curb + of the crossing and the rest were coming + thither, though with no great haste, for they + were gentry to whom caution was second nature + and it was by no means certain what the + arrival of the automobile might portend. The + four at the curb, deterred from retreat by that + sense of shame which is not entirely absent + even in the lowest and most depraved, were + now insistently giving their rap to incite their + comrades to hasten. The rotund gentleman + walked around to that side of the carriage and + gazed at them with some degree of interest and + curiosity. “Rap, rap—rap; rap, rap—rap,†+ <a class="pagenum" id="page116" title="116"> </a>went the sticks of the four and down the street + came answering raps and soon the four were + joined by two more.</p> + + <p>“Don’t let him go now, we’ve almost got + him. We’d had him, if Red hadn’t gone to + sleep and let him get by. Come on, come on.â€</p> + + <p>The six rushed at the carriage, whereat the + rotund gentleman, with an agility not to be + looked for in one of his contour and condition, + received the foremost with smash, smash—smash, + in each eye and on the nose, and the + second likewise, when bidding the driver be + off, he leaped into the carriage with his comrades. + A single bullet whistled after them as + they whirled away.</p> + + <p>“Rap, rap—rap. I rapped ’em,†said the + rotund gentleman. “I always did hate a + knocker.â€</p> + + <p>With your permission I will here interpolate + the remark that the further adventures of the + eminent surgeon with the mysterious confederacy + that sought his life, bore evidence + that these depraved and ruffianly men were + not without a certain rude artistic temperament + as well as a tinge of romance, and a dramatic + sense that many who write for the stage + might well envy them.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page117" title="117"> </a>The elation of the doctor over his escape + from the toils of the thieves was not of long + duration. His breakfast was interrupted by a + call to the telephone and over the wires came + to his startled ears a hollow “knock, knock—knock; + knock, knock—knock.†At his office + door down town softly came “tap, tap—tap; + tap, tap—tap,†and snatch the door open as + hastily as he might, he saw nothing, heard + nothing, heard nothing but the electric bells + on the floors above and floors below calling for + the elevator: “buzz, buzz—buzz; buzz, buzz—buzz.†+ He walked along State Street at the + busy hour of noon and all about him in the + throngs was the dull impact of canes upon + the pavement, “thud, thud—thud; thud, thud—thud.†+ As he rode home in the street car at + nightfall, back of him in the train at street + corner after corner he heard passengers jingle + the bell for stopping, “ding, ding—ding; ding, + ding—ding.â€</p> + + <p>Although Dr. McDill was a man of great + native resolution and intrepid in the face of + known and seen dangers, the horrors of the + invisible forces of death everywhere surrounding + him so wore at his soul that he returned + down town and spent the night at a hotel. On + <a class="pagenum" id="page118" title="118"> </a>the morrow, he severely condemned himself + for this yielding to fear, for on the front steps + of his house lay the dead form of his great + watch dog, Jacques. There were evidences of + a struggle in which the assailants had not been + unscathed. Bits of cloth lay about and examining + the stains of blood that plentifully + blotched the walk, he discovered that some of + it was human blood.</p> + + <p>“Ah,†he said, in deep self-reproach, “if I + had stayed here as I should, I would have been + able to fight with poor Jacques and brought + low some of my enemies. How easily I could + have fired from the upper windows as Jacques + made their presence known. It is evident that + the noise of the struggle was so great that the + fiends were afraid to continue the attack and + ran away.â€</p> + + <p>Philosophers and poets have found a theme + for dissertation in the fact that the dog leaves + his own kindred to dwell with man and fights + them in behalf of his master. It has ever + seemed to me that this were but half of the + tale, for full many a man loves his dog better + than the rest of mankind, and so the devotion + of the race of dogs finds return and recompense. + Outside his own family, there was no + <a class="pagenum" id="page119" title="119"> </a>living thing in the city of Chicago which had + so dwelt in the affections of Dr. McDill as the + dog Jacques. Of the truth of this, he had had + but dim realization until now and he was like + to burst with sorrow and with hatred of the vile + beings who had marked him and his for + slaughter. Lifting the stiff form of his humble + comrade, for the first time did he observe a + poniard thrust in the poor beast’s throat. The + blade impaled a piece of paper and upon it was + written the word “Knock.â€</p> + + <p>“Knock!†cried the doctor: “but henceforth + it shall be I that knock. Hasten the time when + we may meet, malignant knaves. Never + again shall I avoid you. Henceforth, I go + about my business as before, for it is thus that + I may expect the sooner to encounter you.â€</p> + + <p>An urgent matter would require the doctor’s + presence in the municipality of Evanston that + night. He could not expect to return before + twelve o’clock in the morning and of this informing + the cook, who in the temporary reduction + of the family carried on the household + without the aid of a second girl, he departed + northward. It was past the hour of one when + he let himself in the front door of his residence. + A pleasant savor of various viands + <a class="pagenum" id="page120" title="120"> </a>saluted his nostrils and in the drawing-room he + observed that the chairs and tables had all + been thrust against the wall as if to clear the + floor for dancing. In the dining-room, the + evidence of recent festivity was complete, for + the table was covered with the remnants of a + sumptuous repast. No words were needed to + tell him that Olga Blomgren, the cook, had + taken advantage of the foreknowledge of his + absence to entertain a wide circle of friends; + but here indeed was a mystery. Why had she + not set everything in order and removed all + traces of the entertainment? He moved toward + the kitchen in wonder and—his heart stood + still. The beams of the lamp held above his + head were shot back by the gleam of blue and + white satin, his wife’s favorite ball dress on + the kitchen floor. But it was not his wife’s + fair hair and snowy shoulders that, rising out + of the glistening blue and white, were striped + with a glistening red, but the snowy shoulders + and fair hair of poor Olga Blomgren. Thus + had she paid for her hour of magnificence. + Thus had death cut her down because the + maid’s form was of the same statuesque beauty + as her mistress’s. Tenderly the doctor stooped + to lift up the dead girl, stricken in her mistress’s + <a class="pagenum" id="page121" title="121"> </a>stead. There was a poniard in her + throat, and it impaled a piece of paper upon + which was written “Knock.â€</p> + + <p>“Knock, knock—†the next knock would + be upon his own heart.</p> + + <p>Whatever design the doctor had held of not + appealing to the police for protection against + his invisible foes, his affairs had now reached a + point where the intervention of the officers of + the law could no longer be avoided. Poor + Jacques could be consigned to earth without + the intervention of priest or police, but the + murder of Olga was a matter for official investigation. + With that crafty and subtle way the + astute sleuths of the Chicago constabulary + have of informing the public through the intermediary + of the press of all measures projected + against evil-doers, of moves to be made, of + arrests to be attempted, all citizens were in + possession of the fact that owing to the startling + plot just brought to light, all gatherings + and coteries of men, especially at late hours, + were to be watched, investigated, and made to + give accounts of themselves. Dr. McDill + fumed at the turn affairs had taken. That the + confederacy of thieves would abandon their + attempts upon his life, was not to be dreamed + <a class="pagenum" id="page122" title="122"> </a>of. But they would forego the pleasure of + witnessing his death in the presence of all + assembled together. They would now delegate + the attack to a single individual, and in + event of his death, he could hope to carry with + him but one of his enemies.</p> + + <p>Again was Dr. McDill called to the hospital + for a night operation. Leaving his driver + without, he cautioned him.</p> + + <p>“August, I don’t want you to be fooled the + way you were before. If any man comes out + of the hospital and says I send word for you to + drive home without waiting for me, pay no + attention to him. Take no orders from anybody + but me.â€</p> + + <p>“All right. They can’t fool me vonce again + already.â€</p> + + <p>But when a cab drove up and let out a tall + gentleman in a silk hat, who went into the hospital, + and after a little the cab driver, a friendly + and talkative person of Irish extraction, + offered August a flask full of a beverage also + of Irish extraction, August took a drink.</p> + + <p>“He told me not to take no orders yet + already from nobody but him. But he didn’t + say nothin’ about takin’ a drink vonce.â€</p> + + <p>“Take a drink twice, then, Hans,†said the + <a class="pagenum" id="page123" title="123"> </a>person of Irish extraction, “already, yet, and + by and by, too.â€</p> + + <p>It was all of four hours later that Dr. McDill + stepped out of the hospital door. He paused + under the light of the globe over the porch and + examining a large bag of water-proof silk, he + thrust therein a sponge upon which he poured + the contents of a small phial, after which, seeing + that a noose of string that closed the mouth + of the bag was not entangled, he strode briskly + toward his buggy. The side curtains were on + and consequently the interior was in a dark + shadow. Pausing a moment on the step, as if + to arrange his overcoat, he made a quick, dexterous + movement toward the person in the carriage + and, throwing the bag over his head, + pulled the noose. A terrific blow struck the + doctor in the breast, but the arm that struck it + fell powerless before it could be repeated and + the striker lurched forward on the dashboard + in the utter limpness of complete insensibility.</p> + + <p>“It is not August,†said the doctor, straightening + up the hooded figure and taking the + reins. “How well was my precaution taken! + I believe that was the last knock that any + member of that band of diabolical assassins + will ever strike.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page124" title="124"> </a>In the private laboratory of his own home, + the doctor sat facing his captive, whom, after + binding hand and foot, he had restored to his + senses. The outlaw was the first to break the + silence.</p> + + <p>“You’ve got me and you think you’ll do + me,†said the outlaw, with a succession of + oaths and vile epithets it would be needless as + well as improper for me to repeat. “But if + you harm me, my friends will more than pay + you up for it, just as they have everybody that + crossed them.â€</p> + + <p>“Your friends are of a mind to kill me, + whatever befall. Sparing or killing you, will + in nowise affect their purpose. Whatever may + come to-morrow, to-night you must obey my + commands.â€</p> + + <p>“I won’t do a thing you tell me to. I don’t + have to, see? My friends will look for you + just as soon as I don’t turn up, and it will go + hard with you.â€</p> + + <p>“Just as soon as you do not turn up with the + news you have killed me. We’ll see whether + you will do what I tell you to.â€</p> + + <p>“You dassen’t kill me. You’re afraid to kill + me. My friends would fix you and the law + would get you, if they did not.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page125" title="125"> </a>“Your profession relies upon the forbearance + and softheartedness of the public. You know + that those you rob hesitate to shoot. No such + hesitation hampers you. It is part of your + stock in trade to keep the public terrorized. + You kill all who disobey your orders, for if + people began to resist you successfully you + must needs go out of business. Did all put + aside their repugnance to shed blood and kill + your kind as they would wolves, we would have + no more of you.â€</p> + + <p>“You dassen’t kill me, you dassen’t kill + me,†cried the robber. It was the snarl of the + wild beast, hopelessly held in the toils.</p> + + <p>“It is true that I hesitate to kill. I am not + proud of this hesitation, for the trend of the + best medical and sociological thought is now + toward the execution of all degenerates and + criminals, that they may not contaminate the + race with descendants. However, my office is + to save life and I cannot do otherwise. But I + am a surgeon, and every day I do things in the + effort to save and prolong life that to a layman + are repulsive and awful, more revolting to + him than the sight of bloodless death itself. + From the taking of human life I draw back. + But no repugnance, no horror, unsteadies my + <a class="pagenum" id="page126" title="126"> </a>hand elsewhere. The end of the crimes of + your devilish confederacy has come. The law + has not restrained you, could not. Your own + unparalleled wickedness has delivered you into + my hands. Many a man have you brought + low, many a family have you desolated. + Widows and orphans cry out against you, and + not in vain. I shall so knock your gang that + never again shall one of you harm even the + weakest. You shall all live, but it shall be + your prayer, if you black hearts can utter + prayer, that you be dead.â€</p> + + <p>The outlaw’s tongue moved thickly in a + mouth that dried suddenly at these solemn + words of the doctor. “You can’t do it, you + can’t do it, you can’t do it, you duffer——†+ and his voice rumbled on in a long string of + imprecations.</p> + + <p>The doctor seized him and carrying him to + the cellar, lay him against the coal bin. Then + the captive heard him in a room above engaged + upon some sort of carpentry, and whether it + was the captive’s imagination, or design of the + doctor, or whether unconsciously the doctor’s + mind had become possessed, the sounds of the + hammer as it drove nails and struck pieces of + wood into place echoed in the cellar; “knock, + <a class="pagenum" id="page127" title="127"> </a>knock—knock; knock, knock—knock.†Soon + the stairs groaned under the weight of the doctor + carrying some great contrivance, and the + outlaw found himself lying stretched out upon + some sort of operating chair, his ankles held in + a pair of stocks below, his outstretched arms + held by the wrists in a pair of stocks above. + All was black in the cellar, all but where a + single blood red bar of light from the open + door of the furnace fell upon the doctor turning + at the winch of the bed of torture upon + which lay the robber.</p> + + <p>Hardly ten turns did he make, for at the first + little twinges of pain, premonishing the agonies + to come, the caitiff chattered in terror promises + to do all the doctor should order, and so was + released. Cringing and fawning, the outlaw + heard what he was required to do. He was to + write a letter. In this, he was to tell of the + method of his capture. He was to say he was + confined in a second-story room, feet and hands + shackled, and that he was also chained to a + staple in the floor. (That this all might be + true, the doctor took him to a second-story + room and so fettered him.) He found himself + able to use his hands to write, and, happily, + discovered writing material and stamps upon a + <a class="pagenum" id="page128" title="128"> </a>table. He would write a letter and throw it on + the porch below, where perhaps the postman + would find it and send it to its destination. He + asked help. His friends must come that + night. The doctor would be on guard, and who + could say he would not call in others? The + doors and windows were all well secured, all + but a cellar window on the east side. (Of this, + the doctor informed him, that he, the doctor, + might not be guilty of instigating the writing + of anything that was false in any particular.) + They must enter by this window. The door + leading above stairs from the cellar could be + easily forced and the noise thus occasioned + could not be heard outside of the house. They + must come at two in the morning. Come + before another dawn, as the doctor was going + to hold him one day before turning him over to + the police, hoping the gang would do something + to involve themselves in some way they + would not if the police were after them with a + hue and cry.</p> + + <p>The outlaw wrote the letter as ordered, addressed + it to Barry O’Toole, and threw it out + of the window. It fell beyond the porch, on + the ground. But this the doctor remedied by + hiring a small boy for ten cents to pick it up + <a class="pagenum" id="page129" title="129"> </a>and put it in a mail box. After which, the + doctor betook himself to the nearest extensive + hardware establishment.</p> + + <p>At two o’clock the next morning, the beams + of a dark lantern shone athwart the darkness + of the cellar of Dr. McDill’s residence.</p> + + <p>“It’s all right, boys. I can smell escaping + gas, but it’s all right. There’s nobody in + there. Now for the doctor. We’ll kill him + and all who are in there with him, and burn + the house,†said a voice behind the lantern, + and one after another, eleven burly men + dropped into the cellar through the narrow + east window high in the wall. As the feet of + the last man struck the ground, there was a + sound as of a rope jerked by some one in the + orifice by which they had just entered, and + they heard two succeeding crashes within the + cellar, followed by the slam of an iron shutter + over the window. There was a sound of a + spasmodic rush upon the cellar stairs and a + beating upon the door, and then a succession + of softer sounds, as of men rolling down stairs, + and then silence.</p> + + <p>A match was struck upon the outside of the + iron shutter. It revealed the face of Dr. McDill, + lighting a cigar.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page130" title="130"> </a>“The gas alone would have been almost + sufficient. But when all those bottles of ether + and chloroform broke—— I had better open + the window so it will work off and I can get + them out. I will write to my wife to stay away + two months longer. Olga is dead and Kate is + gone. I’ll discharge August to-morrow, as he + deserves. The field is clear.â€</p> + + <p>One morning, as Hans Olson, cook of the + King Olaf Magnus, staunch schooner engaged + in the shingle trade between Chicago and the + city of Manistee, state of Michigan, on this + particular morning lying in the Chicago River—on + this morning, as Mr. Olson was pouring + overboard some dishwater, preparing the + breakfast for the yet sleeping crew, he was + horrified to see floating in the current that + would eventually carry them past the great city + of St. Louis, twelve naked human arms. + Despite his horror and alarm at this grewsome + array of severed members, he noted that so far + as he could observe, they were all left arms, + forearms, disjointed at the elbows. Subsequent + examination but added to the mystery. + It was no trick of medical students intended to + set the town agog. They were not dissecting + subjects, but limbs lately taken from living + <a class="pagenum" id="page131" title="131"> </a>bodies, and they were detached with the highest + skill known to the art of chirurgery. The + town talked and it was a day’s wonder, but the + solving of the mystery proving impossible, it + was passing into tradition when all were horrified + anew to hear that Johannes Klubertanz, a + member of the great and honest German-American + element, while walking through Lincoln + Park early one morning, stumbled over + some objects which, upon examination, proved + to be twelve human forearms, <em>right forearms!</em></p> + + <p>Again were the wisest baffled in even guessing + at this riddle, as they were a third time, + when one Prosper B. Shaw came with the story + that while rowing down in the drainage canal, + he had come upon, floating gently along, dissevered + at the knee joint, <em>twelve human legs!</em></p> + + <p>The whole community shuddered at the dark + secret hidden in their midst, but at last came + the answer, yet not the answer. Of all strange + crews that mortal sight has gazed upon, that + was the strangest, that dozen men who out of + nowhere appeared suddenly in the streets one + morning, armless all, all with wooden left + legs. Their story you would ask in vain, for + just the little chord by which the tongue forms + intelligible words was gone. Their babblings + <a class="pagenum" id="page132" title="132"> </a>came just to the border of articulate speech, + but not beyond. Torrents of half-formed + words they poured forth, but only half-formed, + and to their mouthed jabber the crowd + listened without understanding. Did you + thrust a pencil in their jaws and bid them + write their tale? Gone was some little muscle + that grips the jaws and the pencils lolled + between teeth that could not nip them. And + as for their lips, oh, their mouths, their + mouths! Such an example of the chirurgery + that has to do with the altering of the human + face had never before been witnessed, for + nature had never made those faces. One such + countenance she might have made in cruel + sport, but never twelve, and twelve altogether, + as like as peas in a pod, twelve human jack + o’lanterns, twelve travesties upon humanity’s + front. Howsoever they might once have + looked, not even their own mothers could + know them now. Around each eye the same + wrinkles led away. On each face was a bulbous + nose. But the mouths, oh, the mouths! + Each was drawn back over the teeth in a perpetual + grin, each was upturned at corners which + ended well nigh in the middle of the cheek. + Here were the victims of the horrors that had + <a class="pagenum" id="page133" title="133"> </a>made the city shudder, but dumb and unrecognizable. + In all the thousands that looked at + them, not one could say he had ever seen + them before. In all these thousands, there + was not one to whom they could speak. There + were their stiff faces, frozen into that terrible + perpetual grin, so many idols of wood, save for + their eyes, and they were the only things that + lived in their dead faces.</p> + + <p>Such rudimentary human beings it would be + hard to conceive, and so after a while it occurred + to some one that the same scientific + methods that discover and disclose to us the + modes of life, the habits, and even thoughts + of primitive and rudimentary man, might be + devoted to establishing a means of communication + with them and unveil the secret the + whole world was eager to know. Accordingly, + they were taken to the University of Chicago + and turned over to the department of anthropology. + The learned expounders of this science + were not long in devising a simple means + of communication. The twelve unfortunates + were seated upon a recitation bench and a + doctor of philosophy wrote out an alphabet + upon the blackboard.</p> + + <p>“One rap of your foot will be A,†said the + <a class="pagenum" id="page134" title="134"> </a>doctor of philosophy. “Two will be B. Two + raps, a pause, and one will be C. We will + soon learn your story.â€</p> + + <p>At this moment, the reverberations of a + prodigious blow upon the door outside echoed + through the room, “bang, bang—bang, bang, + bang—bang.â€</p> + + <p>Unaccountably startled, as if at the hearing + of some portent, the professor stood rooted to + the spot for a moment, and then was about to + leap to the door, when the simulacrums before + him sprang to their feet and with a tremendous + stamping, smote their wooden legs upon the + floor, “stamp, stamp—stamp, stamp, stamp—stamp.â€</p> + + <p>The professor stared at the twelve mutes. + There were their immobile faces, as wooden as + their wooden legs, wearing their perpetual + grin, but the westering sun shone on their eyes + and there he saw an abject, grovelling fear, + dreadful to behold, the master passion of + twelve souls, slaves to some mysterious will + which had just made itself manifest out of the + unseen. By what means the will had gained + this ascendancy, the terrible disfigurements of + their remnants of bodies told only too well, + and he who ran could read the utter prostration + <a class="pagenum" id="page135" title="135"> </a>before the power which in their lives had been + the greatest and most terrible in the universe. + Again, far off in a distant corridor of the + building, slowly rumbled to them: “knock, + knock—knock; knock, knock—knock,†and + the twelve unfortunates, like so many automatons, + gave token of their obedience. They + had been warned to keep the secret.</p> + + <p>And so was foiled the attempts of the learned + anthropologists to hold converse with these + rudimentary beings. The alphabet of such + elaborate devisings went for naught. Never + did the twelve persons in the state of primitive + culture get further than the letter C: “knock, + knock—knock; knock, knock—knock.â€</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_9" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page136" title="136"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">“I am</span> at a loss to understand,†said + Mr. Middleton, “why you have entitled + the narration you have just + related, ‘The Pleasant Adventures + of Dr. McDill.’ For to my mind, they seemed + anything but pleasant adventures.â€</p> + + <p>“How so?†asked the emir. “Is it not + pleasant to thwart the machinations and defeat + the evil intentions of the villains such as composed + the confederacy that sought the doctor’s + life? Does there not reside in mankind a + sense of justice which rejoices at seeing meted + out to wrong-doers the deserts of their + crimes?â€</p> + + <p>To which Mr. Middleton replying with a nod + of thoughtful assent, after a proper period of + rumination upon the words of the emir, that + accomplished ruler continued:</p> + + <p>“Despite the boasted protection of the law, + how often is a man compelled to rely for his + protection upon his own prowess, skill or + address. There are many occasions when right + <a class="pagenum" id="page137" title="137"> </a>under the nose of the police, one saves himself + by the resort to physical strength, weapons, or + the use of a cajoling tongue. Theoretically, + Dr. McDill was amply protected by the mantle + of the law. In reality, it was man to man as + much as if he had met his foes in the Arabian + desert, with none but himself and them and + the vultures. Do you go armed?â€</p> + + <p>“No,†replied Mr. Middleton, with a flippant + smile; “but I can go pretty fast, and that + has heretofore done as well as going armed.â€</p> + + <p>“Young man,†said the emir, sternly, “a + bullet can outstrip your fleetest footsteps. + There may never be but one occasion when you + will need a weapon, but on that occasion the + possession of the means of protection may + spell the difference between life and life.â€</p> + + <p>Hardly had he uttered them, before Mr. + Middleton regretted his forward and pert + words, for never before had he answered the + emir lightly, such was his respect for him as a + man of goodly parts and as one set in authority, + and such was his gratitude toward him as + a benefactor. Stammering forth what was at + once an apology and an acknowledgement of + the wisdom of what the emir had said, Mr. + Middleton began to make preparations to go. + <a class="pagenum" id="page138" title="138"> </a>But Prince Achmed bade him wait, and saying + a few words to Mesrour in the Arabic language, + the blackamore brought to him a pair + of pistols of a formidable aspect. In sooth, + one could hardly tell whether they ought to be + called pistols, or culverins. In the shape of + the stocks alone could anyone detect that they + were pistols. The bore of each was more than + an inch in diameter, and the octagonal barrels + of thick steel, heavily inlaid with silver, were + a foot and a half long. The handles, which + were in proportion to the barrels and so long + that four hands could grasp them, were so + completely covered with an inlay of pearl that + no wood was visible. Taking one of them, the + emir rammed home a great load of powder, + upon which he placed a handful of balls as + large as marbles. Having served the second + likewise, he handed the pair to Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Take them. Protected by them, you need + have little fear. But woe betide the man who + stands in front of them, for so wide is the distribution + of their charge, that he must be a + most indifferent marksman who could not do + execution with them.â€</p> + + <p>Thanking the emir for the gift and the entertainment + and instruction of his discourse, Mr. + <a class="pagenum" id="page139" title="139"> </a>Middleton departed. Impressed though he + had been by Prince Achmed’s counsel and by + the lesson to be derived from the recital of the + experiences of Dr. McDill, Mr. Middleton did + not carry the pistols as he went about his daily + vocation. It was impossible to so bestow them + about his garments that they did not cause + large and unsightly protuberances and to + carry them openly was not to be thought of. + Their weight, too, was so great that it was burdensome + to carry them in any manner. Coming + into his room unexpectedly in the middle + of the forenoon of the Thursday following the + acquisition of the weapons, he surprised Hilda + Svenson, maid of all work, in the act of examining + one of them, which she had extracted + from the place where they lay concealed in the + lower bureau drawer beneath a pile of underclothing. + With a start of guilty surprise, + Hilda let the pistol fall to the floor. Fortunately + it did not go off, but nonetheless was + he convinced that he ought to dispose of the + two weapons, for any day Hilda might shoot + herself with one, while on the weekly sheet + changing day, Mrs. Leschinger, the landlady, + might shoot herself with the other. There was + no place in the room where he could conceal + <a class="pagenum" id="page140" title="140"> </a>them from the painstaking investigations of + Hilda and Mrs. Leschinger, and the expedient + of extracting the charges not occurring to him, + he felt that it was clearly his duty to remove + the lives of the two women from jeopardy by + disposing of the pistols. He was in truth + pained at the necessity of parting with the + gifts which the emir had made with such solicitude + for his welfare and as some assuagement + to this regret he sought to dispose of them as + profitably as possible. With this end in view, + he made an appointment for a private audience + after hours with Mr. Sidney Kuppenheimer, + who conducted a large loan bank on Madison + Street and was reputed a connoisseur and + admirer of all kinds of curios.</p> + + <p>On the evening for which he had made the + appointment, he set forth, intending to make + an early and short call upon his friend Chauncy + Stackelberg and wife, before repairing to Mr. + Kuppenheimer’s place of business. But such + was the engaging quality of the conversation + of the newly married couple, abounding both + in humor and good sense, and so interested was + he in hearing of the haps and mishaps of married + life, a state he hoped to enter as soon as + fortune and the young lady of Englewood + <a class="pagenum" id="page141" title="141"> </a>should be propitious, that he was unaware of + the flight of time until in the midst of a pause + in the conversation, he heard the cathedral + clock Mrs. Stackelberg’s uncle had given her + as a wedding present, solemnly tolling the hour + of eleven. The hour Mr. Kuppenheimer had + named was one hour agone. To have kept + the appointment, he should have started two + hours before.</p> + + <p>Another half hour had flown before Mr. + Middleton, having paused to partake of some + chow-chow recently made by Mrs. Stackelberg + and highly recommended by her liege, finally + left the house, carrying a pistol in either hand. + The night was somewhat cloudy, but although + there was neither moon nor stars, it was much + lighter than on some nights when all the minor + luminaries are ablaze, or the moon itself is + aloft, shining in its first or last quarter, a phenomenon + remarked upon by an able Italian + scientist in the middle of the last century and + by him attributed to some luminous quality + that inheres in the clouds themselves. Mr. + Middleton was walking along engrossed in + thoughts of the scene of domestic bliss he had + lately quitted and in dreams of the even more + delightful home he hoped to some day enjoy + <a class="pagenum" id="page142" title="142"> </a>with the young lady of Englewood, when he + suddenly became cognizant of four individuals + a short distance away, comporting themselves + in an unusual and peculiar manner. Cautiously + approaching them as quietly as possible, he + perceived that it was two robbers despoiling + two citizens of their valuables, one pair standing + in the middle of the street, one on the sidewalk, + the citizens with their hands elevated + above their heads in a strained and uncomfortable + attitude, while each robber—with back to + him—was pointing a revolver with one hand + and turning pockets inside out with the other.</p> + + <p>With a resolution and celerity that astonished + him, as he afterwards dwelt upon it in + retrospect, Mr. Middleton rushed silently upon + the nearest robber, him in the street, and dealt + him a terrible blow upon the head with the + barrel of a pistol. Without a sound, the robber + sank to the earth, whereupon the citizen, + whether he had lost his head through fear, or + thought Mr. Middleton a new and more dangerous + outlaw, fled away like the wind. + Snatching the bag of valuables in the unconscious + thief’s hands, Mr. Middleton made + toward the other robber, who, to his astonishment, + hissed without looking around:</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page143" title="143"> </a>“What did you let your man get away for, + you fool? Try and make yourself useful somehow. + Hold this swag and cover the man, so I + can have both hands and get through quick.â€</p> + + <p>Taking the valuables the robber handed + him, Mr. Middleton with calmness and deliberation + placed them in his pockets, after which + he placed a muzzle of a pistol in the back of + the robber’s neck and sharply commanded:</p> + + <p>“Hands up!â€</p> + + <p>Up went the robber’s hands as if he were a + jumping-jack jerked by a string, whereupon his + late victim, doubtless animated by the same + emotions as those of the other citizens, fled + away like the wind, but not in silence, for at + every jump he bellowed, “Thieves, murder, + help!â€</p> + + <p>A window slammed up in the house before + which they were standing and the glare of an + electric bicycle lamp played full upon Mr. + Middleton and his prisoner.</p> + + <p>“I’ve got him,†said Mr. Middleton, + proudly.</p> + + <p>“Got him! Got him!†gasped an astonished + voice. “Well, of all effrontery! Got him, + you miserable thief? The police are coming + and they’ll get you, and I can identify you, if + <a class="pagenum" id="page144" title="144"> </a>they don’t succeed in nabbing you red-handed.â€</p> + + <p>Shocked and almost paralyzed, Mr. Middleton + turned to expostulate with the misled + householder, when the robber, seizing the + opportunity, fled away like the wind, bellowing + at every jump, “Thieves, murder, help!†and as + if aroused by the sound of his compatriot’s + voice, the thief who had been lying unconscious + in the street all this while, arose and hastened + away, somewhat unsteadily, it is true, yet at a + considerable degree of speed.</p> + + <p>It did not require any extended reflective + processes for Mr. Middleton to tell himself + that if he waited for the police, he would be in + a very bad plight, for he had the stolen property + upon his person, the thieves had gone, + and even if the victims were able to say he was + not one of the two original thieves—which + their disturbed state of mind made most uncertain—they + would be likely to declare him a + thief notwithstanding, a charge which the + stolen property on his person would bear out. + The police could now be heard down the street + and the householder was making the welkin + ring with vociferous shouts. With a sudden + access of rage at this individual whose well-intended + <a class="pagenum" id="page145" title="145"> </a>efforts had thwarted justice and might + yet fasten crime upon innocence, Mr. Middleton + pointed a pistol at the upper pane of the + window where shone the bicycle lamp. There + was a roar that shook the air, followed by a + crash of glass and the clatter of a dozen bullets + upon the brick wall of the house, and a + shriek of terror from the householder and the + bicycle lamp instantly vanished. With a heart + strangely at peace in the midst of the dangers + that encompassed him, Mr. Middleton sped up + the street, dashed through an alleyway, back + for a block on the next street in the direction + he had just come, and thenceforth leisurely + and with an appearance of virtue he did not + need to feign, made his way home without + molestation.</p> + + <p>Upon examining the booty that had so + strangely come into his possession, Mr. Middleton + was at a loss to think which were the + greater villains, those who had robbed, or those + who had been robbed. One wallet contained + five hundred and forty dollars in greenbacks + and some memoranda accompanying it showed + that it was a corruption fund to be used in + bribing voters at an approaching election. The + other wallet contained sixty dollars and a detailed + <a class="pagenum" id="page146" title="146"> </a>plan for bribery, fraud, and intimidation + which was to be carried out in one of the + doubtful wards. There were also some silver + coins, and two gold watches bearing no names + or marks that could identify their owners, but + the detailed plan contained the name of the + politician who had drawn it up and who was to + be benefited by its successful accomplishment. + This was a clue by following which Mr. Middleton + might have found the parties who had + been robbed and return their property, but he + was deterred from doing so by several considerations. + The knowledge he had of the + proposed fraud was exceedingly dangerous to + the interests of one of the political parties and + to the personal interests of one of the bosses + of that party. It would be clearly to their + advantage to have Mr. Middleton jailed and so + put where there would be no danger that he + would divulge the information in his possession. + Besides this, the money was to be used + for corrupt purposes, would go into the hands + of evil men who would spend it evilly. Deprived + of it, a thoroughly bad man was less + likely to be elected. For these moral and + prudential reasons, Mr. Middleton saw that it + was plainly his duty to the public and to himself + <a class="pagenum" id="page147" title="147"> </a>to retain the money. The victims, bearing + in mind that the recovery of the money by + the police would also mean the discovery of + the incriminating documents and that any persecution + of the robbers might incite them to + sell the documents to the opposite party, would + be very chary about doing or saying anything. + But there was the householder, who surely + would tell his tale and who had an idea of Mr. + Middleton’s personal appearance. Accordingly, + that excellent young man disposed of + the gold watches to one Isaac Fiscovitz on + lower State Street, and with the results of the + exchange purchased an entirely new suit, new + hat, and new shoes. The incriminating documents, + he placed under the carpet in his room + against a time when he might see an opportunity + to safely dispose of them to the pecuniary + advantage of himself and to the + discomfiture of the contemptible creature + whose handiwork they were.</p> + + <p>He said nothing of these transactions when + on the appointed evening he once more sat in + the presence of the urbane prince of the tribe + of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately + flavored sherbet, Achmed began the narration + of The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_10" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page148" title="148"> </a>The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Miss Clarissa Dawson</span> was a young + lady who had charge of the cutlery + counter in one of the great emporiums + of State Street. She was reckoned of + a pretty wit and not more cutting were the + Sheffield razors that were piled before her than + the remarks she sometimes made to those who, + incited thereto by her reputation for readiness + of retort, sought to engage her in a contest of + repartee. It was seldom that she issued from + these encounters other than triumphant, leaving + her presumptuous opponents defeated and + chagrined. But in the month of November of + the last year, for once she owned to herself + that she had been overcome,—overcome, it is + true, because her adversary was plainly a person + of stupidity, mailed by his doltishness + against the keenest sarcasm she could launch + against him, yet nevertheless overcome. To + her choicest bit of irony, the individual replied, + “Somebody left you on the grindstone and + <a class="pagenum" id="page149" title="149"> </a>forgot to take you off,†to which the most + adroit in quips and quirks could find no fitting + replication, unless it were to indulge in facial + contortion or invective, and Miss Clarissa was + too much of a lady to do either. Forced into + silence, she had no resource but to seek to + transfix him with a protracted and contemptuous + stare, which, though failing to disconcert + the object, put her in possession of the facts + that he had mild blue eyes, that the remnants + of his hair were red, that he was slightly above + middle height and below middle age, and that + there was little about his face and still less his + figure to distinguish him from a multitude of + men of the average type. Indeed, one could + not even conjecture his nationality, for his + type was one to be seen in all branches of the + Indo-European race. If from a package in his + upper left-hand coat pocket, which, broken, + disclosed some wieners, you concluded he was + of the German nation, a short dudeen in an + upper vest pocket would seem to indicate that + he was an Irishman. His coat was of black + cheviot, new, and of the current cut. His vest + was of corduroy, of the kind in vogue in the + past decade, while his pantaloons, black, with + a faint green line in them, were a compromise, + <a class="pagenum" id="page150" title="150"> </a>being of a non-commital cut that would never + be badly out of style in any modern period.</p> + + <p>Sustaining Miss Clarissa’s stare with great + composure, he purchased six German razors at + thirty-five cents each, six English at fifty, + twelve American at the same price, and a stray + French razor at sixty-two.</p> + + <p>“Don’t you want some razorine?†asked Miss + Clarissa. “It makes razors—and other things—sharper.â€</p> + + <p>“Why don’t you use it, then, instead of lobsterine?†+ replied the stranger, picking up his + package and the change. Miss Clarissa + deigning to give no reply but an angry frown, + the stranger expressed his gratitude for the + amusement he intimated she had afforded him + and he further said he hoped he would see her + at the Charity Ball and he made bold to ask + her to save the second two-step for him, and + thereafter departed, having declined Miss + Clarissa’s offer to have his purchases sent to + his address, an offer dictated not by a spirit of + accommodation and kindliness, but by a + desire to learn in what part of the city he had + his residence.</p> + + <p>On the morrow again came a man to purchase + razors, of which there was a large number + <a class="pagenum" id="page151" title="151"> </a>on Miss Clarissa’s counter, traveling men’s + samples for sale at ridiculous prices. The man + had purchased two dozen razors before Miss + Clarissa, noting this similarity to the transactions + of the odious person and thereby led to + take a good look at him, observed with astonishment + that this new man had on exactly the + same suit that had been worn by the purchaser + of the day before. She recognized the fabric, + the color, everything down to a discoloration + on the left coat lapel. Here the resemblance + ended. The second individual was a young + man. He had a heavy shock of abundant hair. + He was not more than twenty-eight years old + and so far from being commonplace, he was of + a distinguished appearance. But as the eyes + of Miss Clarissa continued to dwell upon him + in some admiration, she told herself that the + resemblance did not end with the clothes, + after all. His eyes were of the same blue, his + hair of the same auburn as those of the man of + yesterday. Indeed, the man of yesterday + might have been this man with twenty years + added on him, with the light of hope and ambition + dimmed by contact with the world, and + his youthful alertness and dash succeeded by + the resigned vacuity of one who has seen none + <a class="pagenum" id="page152" title="152"> </a>of his early dreams realized. Again did Miss + Clarissa ask if he would have his purchases + sent to his address, but this time it was not + entirely curiosity and the perfunctory performance + of a duty, for she would gladly have been + of service to one of such a pleasing presence. + Communing with himself for a moment, the + young man said:</p> + + <p>“On the whole, you may. But they must + be delivered to me in person, into my own + hands. I would take them, but I have a number + of other things to take. Remember, they + are to be delivered to me in person,†and he + handed her a card which announced that his + name was Asbury Fuller and on which was + written in lead pencil the address of a house + in a quarter of the city which, once the most + fashionable of all, had suffered from the encroachments + of trade and where a few mansions + yet occupied by the aristocracy were + surrounded by the deserted homes of families + which had fled to the newer haunts of fashion, + leaving their former abodes to be occupied by + boarding mistresses, dentists, doctors, clairvoyants, + and a whole host of folk whose names + would never be in the papers until their burial + permits were issued.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page153" title="153"> </a>Miss Clarissa did a very peculiar thing. It + was already four o’clock of a Saturday afternoon. + Instead of immediately giving the + package into the hands of the delivery department, + she retained it and, at closing time, going + to the room where ready made uniforms for + messenger boys were kept, she purloined one. + Now it must be known that the principal reason + for doing a thing so unusual, not to say indiscreet, + was her desire to obey the young man’s + injunction to hand the razors into his own + hands and no others. She had become possessed + of the idea that some disaster would + befall if the razors came into the possession of + any one else. Moreover, the stranger had + humbled her in the contest of repartee, which, + as a true woman, had made her entertain an + admiration for him, and this and his strange + disguises and his unaccountable purchases had + surrounded him with a mist of romantic mystery + she fain would penetrate. Some little + time before, it had been Miss Clarissa’s misfortune, + through sickness, to lose much of her + hair. It had now begun to grow again and + resume its former luxuriant abundance, but by + removing several switches—of her own hair—and + the bolster commonly called a rat, and + <a class="pagenum" id="page154" title="154"> </a>sleeking her hair down hard with oil, she + appeared as a boy might who was badly in + need of a haircut. After a light supper, she + set out alone for the residence of Asbury Fuller + and at the end of her journey found herself + at the gateway of a somber edifice, which was + apparently the only one in the block that was + inhabited. On either side and across the way + were vacant houses, lonesome and forbidding. + Indeed, the residence of Asbury Fuller was + itself scarcely less lonesome and forbidding. + The grass of the plot before it was long and + unkempt and heavily covered with mats of + autumn leaves. The bricks of the front walk + were sunken and uneven and the steps leading + to the high piazza were deeply warped, as by + pools of water that had lain and dried on their + unswept surface through many seasons. The + blinds hung awry and the paint on the great + front doors was scaling, and altogether it was a + faded magnificence, this of Asbury Fuller. + She pulled the handle of the front-door bell + and in response to its jangling announcement + came a maid.</p> + + <p>“Asbury Fuller?†said the maid, omitting + the “Mr.†Miss Clarissa had affixed. “Go to + the side door around to the right.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page155" title="155"> </a>Wondering if this were a lodging house and + Asbury Fuller had a private entrance, or if it + being his own house he had left word that + callers should be sent to the side door to prevent + the delivery of the razors being seen by + others, Clarissa followed the walk through an + avenue of dead syringa bushes and came to the + side door. The same maid who had met her + before, ushered her in and presently she found + herself in a small apartment, almost a closet, + standing at the back of Asbury Fuller. But + though small, she remarked that the apartment + was one of some magnificence, for on all sides + was a quantity of burnished copper, binding + the edges of a row of shelves and covering the + whole top of a broad counter-like projection + running along one side of the wall. Before + this, Asbury Fuller was standing, assorting a + number of cut-glass goblets of various sizes + and putting them upon silver salvers, bottles + of various colored wines being placed upon + each salver with the goblets. He turned at her + entrance and the look of sad and gloomy abstraction + sitting upon his countenance instantly + changed to one of relief and joy.</p> + + <p>“At last, at last,†he exclaimed, in a deep + tone which even more than his countenance + <a class="pagenum" id="page156" title="156"> </a>betrayed his relief and joy. “It is almost too + late and I thought the young woman had not + attended to sending them, that she had failed + me.â€</p> + + <p>“She would not fail you, sir,†said Clarissa, + earnestly, allowing herself in the protection + her assumed character gave her the pleasure of + giving utterance to her feeling of regard for + the young man. “She would not fail, sir, she + could not fail you. Oh, you wrong her, if you + think she could ever break her word to you.â€</p> + + <p>Asbury Fuller bent an inscrutable look upon + Clarissa and then bidding her remain until his + return, hastily left the room. But though he + was gone, Clarissa sat gloating upon the mental + picture of his manly beauty. He seemed + taller than before, for the stoop he had worn in + the afternoon had now departed and he stood + erect and muscular in the suit of full evening + dress that set off his lithe, soldierly form to + such advantage. His garb was of an elegance + such as Clarissa had never before beheld, and + it was plain that the aristocracy affected certain + adornments in the privacy of their homes + which they did not caparison themselves with + in public. Clarissa had seen dress suits in restaurants + and in theaters, but never before had + <a class="pagenum" id="page157" title="157"> </a>she seen a bottle-green dress coat with gold + buttons and a velvet collar and a vest with + broad longitudinal stripes of white and brown. + In a brief space, Asbury Fuller returned, and + glancing at his watch, he said:</p> + + <p>“There is some time before the dinner party + begins and I would like to talk with you. I + am impressed by your apparent honesty and + particularly by the air of devotion to duty that + characterizes you. The latter I have more + often remarked in women than in the more + selfish sex to which we belong. We need a + boy here. Wages, twenty dollars a month and + keep.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, sir, I should be pleased to come.â€</p> + + <p>“Your duties will commence at once. Owing + to the fact that this old house has been empty + for some time and the work of rehabilitating + and refurnishing it is far from completed, you + cannot at present have a room to yourself. + You will sleep with John Klussmann, the + hostler——â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, sir, I cannot do that,†exclaimed + Clarissa, starting up in alarm.</p> + + <p>“John is a good boy and kicks very little in + his sleep. But doubtless you object to the + smell of horses.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page158" title="158"> </a>“Oh, sir, let me do what is needed this evening + and go home and I will come back and + work to-morrow and go home to-morrow night, + and if by that time you find I can have a + room by myself, perhaps I will come permanently.â€</p> + + <p>“I don’t smell of horses myself,†said + Asbury Fuller, musingly, to which Clarissa + making no response other than turning away + her head to hide her blushes, he continued. + “But two days will be enough. Indeed, to-night + is the crucial point. I will not beat about + the bush longer. I wish to attach you to my + interests. I wish you to serve me to-night in + the crisis of my career.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, sir,†said Clarissa, in the protection + that her assumed character gave her, allowing + herself the privilege of speaking her real sentiments, + “I am attached to your interests. Let + me serve you. Command, and I will use my + utmost endeavor to obey.â€</p> + + <p>Asbury Fuller looked at her in surprise. + Carried away by her feelings and in the state + of mental exaltation which the romance and + mystery of the adventure had induced, she had + made a half movement to kneel as she thus + almost swore her fealty in solemn tones.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page159" title="159"> </a>“Why are you attached to my interests?†+ asked Asbury Fuller, somewhat dryly.</p> + + <p>Alas, Clarissa could not take advantage of + the protection her assumed character gave her + to tell the real reason. Only as a woman + could she do that, only as a woman could she + say and be believed, “Because I love you.â€</p> + + <p>“Why, some people are naturally leaders, + naturally draw others to them——â€</p> + + <p>“You cannot be a spy upon me, since no one + knows who I am.â€</p> + + <p>“A spy!†cried Clarissa, in a voice whose + sorrowful reproach gave convincing evidence + of her ingenuousness.</p> + + <p>“I wrong you, I wrong you,†said Asbury + Fuller. “I will trust you. I will tell you + what you are to do——â€</p> + + <p>“Butler,†said a maid, poking her head in at + the door, “it is time to come and give the finishing + touches to the table. It is almost time + for the dinner to be served,†and without ado, + Asbury Fuller sprang out of the room.</p> + + <p>A butler! A butler! Clarissa sat stunned. + It was thus that her hero had turned out. + Could she tell the other girls in the store with + any degree of pride that she was keeping company + with a butler? She had received a good + <a class="pagenum" id="page160" title="160"> </a>literary education in the high school at Muncie, + Indiana, and was a young woman of taste and + refinement. Could she marry a butler? To + be near her hero, she herself had just now been + willing to undertake a menial position. But + she had then imagined him to be a person of + importance. This stage in her cogitations led + her to the reflection that her feelings were unworthy + of her. Had her regard for Asbury + Fuller been all due to the belief that he was a + person of importance, merely the worship of + position, the selfish desire and hope—however + faint—of rising to affluence and social dignity + through him? Butler or no butler, Asbury + Fuller was handsome, he was distinguished, his + manner of speech was superior to that of any + person she had ever known. Butler or no butler, + she loved him. Just now she had hoped + that he, rich and well placed, would overlook + her poverty, and take her, friendless and + obscure, for his bride. Could she give less + than she had hoped he would give? And then + as butler, her chances of winning him were so + greatly increased.</p> + + <p>In a short time, he returned. He told her + she was to wait on the table and instructed her + how to serve the courses.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page161" title="161"> </a>“The master will look surprised when he + sees you instead of me. If he asks who you + are, say the new page. But he will be too + much afraid of exciting the wonder of his + guests to ask you any questions. I feel certain + that he will accept your presence without + question, being desirous his guests shall not + think him a tyro in the management of an + establishment like this. I feel certain that + after dinner, his guests will ask to see his collection + of arms. Indeed, Miss Bording told + him in my hearing last Monday that she + accepted his invitation here on condition that + she be allowed to see the famous collection. + You are to follow them into the drawing-room + after dinner. The master will not know + whether that is usual or not. If they do start + to go to look at the arms, you are to say, ‘The + collection of your former weapons, sir, has + been placed in the first room to the left at the + head of the stairs. The paper-hangers and + decorators have been busy.’ Then you are to + lead the way into that room, which you will + find dimly lighted. After that, I will attend to + everything myself.â€</p> + + <p>Although Clarissa could not but wonder at + the strangeness of her instructions and to be + <a class="pagenum" id="page162" title="162"> </a>somewhat alarmed at the evidences of a plot + in which she was to be an agent, she agreed, + for though her regard for Asbury Fuller would + have been sufficient to cause such acquiescence, + so great was her curiosity to have solved the + mysteries which surrounded that individual, + that this alone would have gained her consent.</p> + + <p>There were but two guests at the table of + Mr. William Leadbury—Judge Volney Bording, + and his daughter, Eulalia Bording. Mr. Leadbury + cast a look of surprise and displeasure as + he saw Clarissa serving the first course, but he + quickly concealed these emotions and proceeded + to plunge into an animated conversation + with his guests. Indeed, it assumed the + character of a monologue in which he frequently + adverted to the weather, to be off on a + tangent the next moment on a discussion of + finance, politics, sociology, on which subjects, + however, he was far from showing the + positiveness and fixed opinion that he did while + descanting upon the weather. In all the subjects + he touched upon, he exhibited a certain + skill in so framing his remarks that they would + not run counter to any prejudices or opposite + opinions of his auditors, but the feelings of the + auditors having been elicited, served as a preamble + <a class="pagenum" id="page163" title="163"> </a>from which he could go on, warmly + agreeing with their views in the further and + more complete unfolding of his own. He was + between twenty-seven and thirty years of age, + of a somewhat spare figure, and in the well-proportioned + features of his face there was no one + that would attract attention beyond the others + and easily remain fixed in memory. He was + not without an appearance of intelligence and + his chest was thrown out and the small of his + back drawn in after the manner of the Prussian + ex-sergeants who give instruction in athletics + and the cultivation of a proper carriage to the + elite of this city, and withal he had the appearance + of a person of substance and of consequence + in his community. In the midst of + a pause where he was occupied in putting + his soup-spoon into his mouth, Miss Bording + remarked:</p> + + <p>“Please do not talk about commonplace + American subjects, Mr. Leadbury. Tell us of + your foreign life. Tell us of Algeria. What + sort of a country is Algeria?â€</p> + + <p>Turning his eyes toward the chandelier about + him and with an elegance of enunciation that + did much to relieve the undeniably monotonous + evenness of his discourse, he began:</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page164" title="164"> </a>“Algeria, the largest and most important of + the French colonial possessions, is a country + of northern Africa, bounded on the north by + the Mediterranean, west by Morocco, south by + the desert of Sahara, and east by Tunis. It + extends for about five hundred and fifty miles + along the coast and inland from three hundred + to four hundred miles. Physiographically it + may be roughly divided into three zones,†and + so on for a considerable length until by an + accident which Clarissa could attribute to + nothing but inconceivable awkwardness, Judge + Bording dropped a glass of water, crash! + Having ceased his disquisition at this accident, + so disconcerting to the judge, Miss + Bording very prettily and promptly thanked + him for his information and saying that she + now had a clear understanding of the principal + facts pertaining to Algeria, abruptly changed + the subject by asking him if he had heard anything + more concerning his second cousin, the + barber.</p> + + <p>“There is nothing more to be heard. He is + dead. You know he came here about a week + before I did. By the terms of my uncle’s will, + the five years to be allowed to elapse before I + was to be considered dead or disappeared + <a class="pagenum" id="page165" title="165"> </a>would have come to an end in a week after the + time of my arrival, and the property have + passed to him, my uncle’s cousin. By the + greatest luck in the world, I had become + homesick and throwing up my commission in + the Foreign Legion, or Battalion D’Etranger, + as we have it in French, which is, as you may + know, a corps of foreigners serving under the + French flag, mainly in Algeria, but occasionally + in other French possessions—throwing up + my commission, I came home, bringing with + me my famous collection of weapons and the + fauteuil of Ab del Kader, the armchair, you + understand, of the great Arab prince who led + the last revolt against France. It was not all + homesickness, either. Among the men of all + nationalities serving in the Foreign Legion, + are many adventurous Americans, and a young + Chicagoan, remarking my name, apprised me + of the fact that perhaps I was heir to a fortune + in Chicago. I came,†continued Leadbury, + looking down toward his lap, where Clarissa + saw he held a clipping from a newspaper, “and + took apartments at the Bennington Hotel, + where, when seen by the representatives of the + ‘Commercial Advertiser,’ the following interesting + facts were brought out in the interview: + <a class="pagenum" id="page166" title="166"> </a>‘William Leadbury’—your humble servant—†he + interjected, “‘is the only son of the late + Charles Leadbury, only brother of the late + millionaire iron merchant, James Leadbury. + Upon his death, James Leadbury left his entire + property’—but,†said Leadbury, looking up, + “I have previously covered that point.â€</p> + + <p>“But tell us of your weapons,†interposed + Miss Bording.</p> + + <p>“Oh, yes, that seems to interest you,†and + deftly sliding the clipping along in his fingers, + he resumed: “‘The collection of weapons is one + of the most interesting and remarkable collections + in the United States, for, though not + large, its owner can say, with pardonable pride, + “every bit of steel in that collection has been + used by me in my trade.â€â€™â€</p> + + <p>“Ah, how proud you must be,†mused Miss + Bording. “I read something like that in the + papers, myself. Just to think of it! Every bit + of steel in that collection has been used by you + in your trade. What a strange affectation you + military men have in calling your profession a + trade! But, Captain Leadbury, tell me of your + cousin, who disappeared two days after your + arrival, and why you shaved your moustache + which the papers described you as having.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page167" title="167"> </a>“A moustache is a bother,†said Leadbury. + “As to my cousin, why, overcome by disappointment, + he took to drink. He disappeared + from his lodgings on Rush Street two days + after my arrival, at the close of a twenty-four + hours’ debauch. It was found he had shipped + as a sailor on the Ingar Gulbrandson, lumber + hooker for Marinette, and the Gulbrandson was + found sunk up by Death’s Door, at the + entrance to Green Bay, her masts sticking + above water. Her crew had utterly disappeared. + That was three months ago and + neither hide nor hair of any of them has been + seen since. Poor Anderson Walkley is dead! + Were he alive, I would be glad to assist him. + But he was a rover, never long in one place—a + few months here, a few months there—and now + he is at rest and I believe he is glad, I believe + he is glad.â€</p> + + <p>The second course consisted of turkey, and + Clarissa was astounded, as she deposited the + dishes of the course, to see Asbury Fuller + swiftly enter the door upon all-fours and with + extreme celerity and cat-like lightness, flit + across the room and esconce himself behind a + huge armchair upholstered in velvet, and her + astonishment increased and was tinged with no + <a class="pagenum" id="page168" title="168"> </a>small degree of terror, as she observed the + chair, noiselessly and almost imperceptibly, + progress across the floor, propelled by some + hidden force, until it reached a station behind + the master of the house. Captain Leadbury + began to carve the turkey and Clarissa was + astonished more than ever to hear, in the Captain’s + voice, though she was sure his lips were + shut,</p> + + <p>“Would you like a close shave, Miss Bording?â€</p> + + <p>The sound of the carving-knife dropping + upon the platter as Leadbury started in some + sudden spasm of pain, was drowned by the silvery + laughter of Miss Bording, saying,</p> + + <p>“Oh, don’t make fun of the profession of + your poor cousin, Captain,†and the look of + disquiet upon Leadbury’s face was quickly + relieved and he joined heartily and almost + boisterously in the merriment. A moment + later, Clarissa was alarmed to find him bending + upon herself a look in which suspicion, + distrust, fear, and hatred all were blended.</p> + + <p>Judge Volney Bording, ornament to the legal + profession, was a hearty eater, and it was not + long before he sent his plate for a second helping, + and again Clarissa heard from the closed + <a class="pagenum" id="page169" title="169"> </a>lips of Leadbury, in a voice that seemed to + float up from his very feet:</p> + + <p>“Next. Next. You’re next, Miss Bording. + What’ll it be?â€</p> + + <p>Leadbury half rose, looking toward Clarissa + with a glance of most violent anger, but whatever + he would have said, was again interrupted + by the silvery laugh of Miss Bording, and again + Leadbury joined heartily, almost boisterously. + But though he regained his self-possession and + his brow became serene, Clarissa saw in his eye + that which told he had a reckoning in store + for her when once the guests were out of the + house, but that in the meantime he would dissemble + the various unpleasant emotions with + which his mind was filled. The rest of the dinner + passed without untoward event. The huge + armchair by imperceptible degrees retired to its + former position, and as Clarissa set down the + dessert, she saw Asbury Fuller, with a grace + unusual and not to be expected of one in such + a posture, proceeding quickly and silently out + of the room upon all-fours.</p> + + <p>Mindful of her instructions, Clarissa accompanied + the party when, rising from the table, + they withdrew to the drawing-room. It was + manifest that her presence caused Leadbury + <a class="pagenum" id="page170" title="170"> </a>some uneasiness and he looked now at her and + now at his guests with an inquiring and perturbed + countenance, but in the calm faces of + the judge and his daughter he could detect + nothing to indicate that they thought the presence + of the page at all strange, and little by + little he recovered his good spirits and related + some interesting anecdotes of a bulldog he + once owned and of a colored person who stole + a guitar from him. But though Miss Bording + gave a courteous and interested attention and + laughed at the anecdotes of the dog, she irked + at the necessity of silence, which the garrulity + of her host placed her under and was desirous + of having the conversation become general + and of a more entertaining, elevated and instructive + character. As the narration of the + episode of the colored person came to an end, + she hastily exclaimed:</p> + + <p>“Captain, you promised to show us your collection. + It is nearing the time when we must + go home, for father has had to-day to listen to + an unparalleled amount of gabble and is very + tired.â€</p> + + <p>“I will show the collection to you with great + pleasure,†said Leadbury, and at this juncture, + Clarissa, remembering her instructions, said:</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page171" title="171"> </a>“The collection of your former weapons, sir, + has been placed in the first room at the left at + the head of the stairs. The paperhangers + and decorators have been busy.†And then she + proceeded to lead the way into the hall and up + the broad funereal staircase that led above. + Dimly burned the lights in the hall. Dimly + burned a gas jet in the room whose door stood + open at the left.</p> + + <p>“Oh, yes,†said Leadbury, gaily, responding + to a remark of Miss Bording, as they entered + the room and saw the uncertain shape of a + large chair vaguely looming in the gloom; “I + secured the fauteuil of Ab del Kader after we + had stormed the last stronghold of that unfortunate + prince. But interesting as this relic is, + I put no value upon it in comparison with the + weapons, for every bit of steel in the collection + has been used by me in my trade.â€</p> + + <p>As he said these words, he turned on the gas + at full head and the light blazed forth to be + shot back from an array of polished steel festooned + upon the wall, a glittering rosette, but + not of sabres and scimetars, yataghans, rapiers, + broadswords, dirks and poniards, pistols, fusils + and rifles. No! <em>Razors and scissors!</em> Before + this array sat a great red velvet barber’s chair, + <a class="pagenum" id="page172" title="172"> </a>and near them on the wall was a board, bearing + little brass hooks, upon each of which hung a + green ticket.</p> + + <p>In the unexpected revelation that had followed + the flare of light, all eyes were turned + upon William Leadbury, swaying back and + forward with one hand clinging to the big + chair, as if ready to swoon. A sickly, cringing + grin played over his face, suddenly come all + a-yellow, and his long tongue was flickering + over his pale lips. But all at once his muscles + sprang tense and a malignant anger tightened + his quivering features and turning upon Clarissa, + he hissed:</p> + + <p>“You did this. You exposed me, you exposed + me,†and he was about to leap at the + terrified girl, when a ringing voice cried, + “Stop!†and there was Asbury Fuller standing + in the doorway with the broad red cordon + of a Commander of the Legion of Honor across + his breast and a glittering rapier in his hand. + Clarissa could have fallen at his feet, he + looked so handsome and grand, and she could + have scratched out the eyes of Eulalia Bording, + whose gaze betrayed an admiration equal + to her own. Asbury Fuller, yet not wearing + quite his wonted appearance, for the luxuriant + <a class="pagenum" id="page173" title="173"> </a>locks of auburn had gone and his head was + covered with a short, though thick crop of + chestnut.</p> + + <p>“You exposed yourself. Harmless would all + this have been, powerless to hurt you, if you + had kept your self-possession and turned it off + as a joke—your own. But your abashed mien, + your complete confusion, your utter disconcertment, + betrayed you, even if you had no longer + left any question by crying out that you have + been exposed. Yes, exposed, Anderson Walkley, + by the sudden confronting of you with the + implements of your craft, the weapons you had + <em>used</em> in <em>your</em> trade, and the belief thus aroused + in your guilty mind that your secret was + known, that your identity had been detected.â€</p> + + <p>“Asbury Fuller, what business is it of + yours?†and Leadbury snatched up a large + pair of hair clippers and waved them with a + menacing gesture.</p> + + <p>“Everyman to the weapons of his trade,†+ exclaimed Asbury Fuller, and the hair clippers + seemed suddenly enveloped in a mass of white + flame, as the rapier played about them. + Cling, clang, across the room flew the clippers, + twisted from Leadbury’s hand as neatly as + you please.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page174" title="174"> </a>“Asbury Fuller?†cried the Commander of + the Legion of Honor. “Asbury Fuller?†and + he deftly fastened beneath his nose an elegant + false moustache with waxed ends.</p> + + <p>With his hands before his eyes as if to forefend + his view from some dreadful apparition, + the man in the corner sank upon his knees, + gibbering, “William Leadbury, come back + from the dead!â€</p> + + <p>“William Leadbury, alive and well, here to + claim his own from you, Anderson Walkley, + outlaw and felon. Your plans were well-laid, + but I am not dead. You signed the papers of + the Ingar Gulbrandson in your proper person. + Then as she was about to sail, I was brought + aboard ostensibly drunk, but really drugged, + under the name of Anderson Walkley. The + Gulbrandson was found sunk. Her crew of + four had utterly disappeared. Dead, of course. + The records gave their names. I had become + Anderson Walkley and was dead. You had + seized my property and my identity. I had + been in Chicago but two days and no one had + become familiar enough with my appearance to + make any question when you with your clean-shaven + face came down on the morning after + my kidnaping and told the people at the + <a class="pagenum" id="page175" title="175"> </a>hotel that you were William Leadbury and had + shaved your moustache off over night. Whatever + difference they might have thought they + saw, was easily explained by the change occasioned + by the removal of your moustache. + Had your minions been as intelligent as they + were villainous, your scheme would have succeeded. + It was necessary to drug me anew on + the voyage, as the effects were wearing off. + They did not drug me enough, and when they + scuttled the old hulk and rowed ashore to flee + with their blood money, the cold water rising + in the sinking vessel awoke me, brought me + to full consciousness, and I easily got ashore + on some planking. I saw at once what the + plot had been. I realized I had a desperate + man to deal with. I had no money and it + would take me some time to get from northern + Wisconsin to Chicago. In the meantime, + every one would have come to believe you + William Leadbury, and who would believe me, + the ragged tramp, suddenly appearing from + nowhere and claiming to be the heir? You + would be coached by your lawyers, have time + to concoct lies, to manufacture conditions that + would color your claim, and in court you + would be self-possessed and on your guard. + <a class="pagenum" id="page176" title="176"> </a>Therefore I felt that I must await the psychological + moment when you could be taken off + your guard, when, surprised and in confusion, + you would betray yourself. I secured employment + as your butler, the psychological moment + came, and you stand, self-convicted, thief and + would-be murderer.â€</p> + + <p>“Send for the police at once,†said Judge + Bording.</p> + + <p>“No,†said the late captain in the Foreign + Legion. “He may reform. I wish him to + have another chance. That he may have the + wherewithal to earn a livelihood, I present him + with the contents of this room, the means of + his undoing. In my uncle’s library are many + excellent theological works of a controversial + nature, and these, too, I present to him, as a + means of turning his thoughts toward better + things. I will not send for the police. I will + send for a dray. Judge Bording, by the recent + concatenation of events, I am become the host. + Let us leave Walkley here to pack his effects, + and return to the drawing-room.â€</p> + + <p>Clarissa preceded the others as they slowly + descended, with all her ears open to hear whatsoever + William Leadbury might say to Eulalia + Bording, and it was so that she noted a strange + <a class="pagenum" id="page177" title="177"> </a>little creaking above them, and looking up, + saw poised upon the edge of the balustrade in + the upper hall, impending over the head of + William Leadbury and ready to fall, the great + barber chair! With a swift leap, she pushed + him to the wall, causing him to just escape the + chair as it fell with a dreadful crash. But she + herself was not so fortunate, for with a wicked + tunk the cushioned back of the chair struck + her a glancing blow that felled her senseless + upon the stairs.</p> + + <p>Judge Bording flew after the dastardly barber, + who swifter still, was down the backstairs and + out of the house into the darkness before the + Judge could lay hands upon him.</p> + + <p>The judge, his daughter, and William Leadbury, + bent over the unconscious form of the + page.</p> + + <p>“He saved your life,†said the judge. “The + wood and iron part would have hit your + head.â€</p> + + <p>“His breath is knocked out of him,†said + Miss Bording.</p> + + <p>“He saved my life. I cannot understand + his strange devotion. I cannot understand it,†+ said William Leadbury, the while opening the + page’s vest, tearing away his collar, and straining + <a class="pagenum" id="page178" title="178"> </a>at his shirt, that the stunned lungs might + have play and get to work again. The stiffly + starched shirt resisted his efforts and he + reached in under it to detach the fastenings of + the studs that held the bosom together. Back + came his hand as if it had encountered a serpent + beneath that shirt front.</p> + + <p>“I begin to understand,†he exclaimed, and + bending an enigmatical look upon the startled + judge and his daughter, he picked the page up + in his arms with the utmost tenderness, and + bore him away.</p> + + <hr class="stars" /> + + <p>The pains in Clarissa’s body had left her. + Indeed, they had all but gone when on Sunday + morning, after a night which had been one of + formless dreams where she had not known + whether she slept or waked or where she was, + a frowsy maid had called her from the bed + where she lay beneath a blanket, fully dressed, + and told her it was time she was getting back + to the city. Not a sign of William Leadbury as + she passed out of the great silent house. Not + a word from him, no inquiry for the welfare of + the little page who had come so nigh dying for + him. Clarissa was too proud to do or say anything + to let the frowsy maid guess that she + <a class="pagenum" id="page179" title="179"> </a>wondered at this or cared aught for the ungrateful + captain. She steeled her heart against + him, but though as the days went by she succeeded + in ceasing to care for one who was so + unworthy of her regard, she could not stifle the + poignant regret that he was thus unworthy.</p> + + <p>It had come Friday evening, almost closing + time in the great store. Slowly and heavily, + Clarissa was setting her counter in order, preparing + to go to her lodgings and nurse her sick + heart until slumber should give respite from + her pain, when there came a messenger from + the dress-making department asking her presence + there.</p> + + <p>“We’ve just got an order for a ready-made + ball-dress for a lady that is unexpectedly going + to the Charity Ball to-night,†said Mrs. McGuffin, + head of the department. “The message + says the lady is just your height and build + and color—she noticed you sometime, it + seems—and that we are to fit one of the + dresses to you, making such alterations as + would make it fit you, choosing one suitable to + your complexion. When it’s done, to save + time, you are to go right to the person who + ordered it, without stopping to change your + clothes. You can do that there. It will make + <a class="pagenum" id="page180" title="180"> </a>her late to the ball, at best. A carriage and a + person to conduct you will be waiting.â€</p> + + <p>It was a magnificent dress that was gradually + built upon the figure of Clarissa, and when at + last it was completed and she stood before the + great pier glass flushed with the radiance of a + pleasure she could not but feel despite her + late sorrow and the fact she was but the lay + figure for a more fortunate woman, one would + have to search far to find a more beautiful + creature.</p> + + <p>“Whyee!†exclaimed Mrs. McGuffin. “Why, + I had no idea you had such a figure. Why, I + must have you in my department to show off + dresses on. You will work at the cutlery counter + not a day after to-morrow. But there, I am + keeping you. The ball must almost have + begun. Here’s a bag with your things in it. + I was going to say, ‘your other things.’†And + throwing a splendid cloak about the lovely + shoulders of Miss Clarissa, Mrs. McGuffin + turned her over to the messenger.</p> + + <p>There was already somebody in the carriage + into which Clarissa stepped, but as the curtain + was drawn across the opposite window, she + was unable to even conjecture the sex of the + individual who was to be her conductor to her + <a class="pagenum" id="page181" title="181"> </a>destination, and steeped in dreams which from + pleasant ones quickly passed to bitter, she + speedily forgot all about the person at her + side. But presently she perceived their carriage + had come into the midst of a squadron of + other carriages charging down upon a brilliantly + lighted entrance where men and women, + brave in evening dress, were moving in.</p> + + <p>“Why, we are going to the ball-room itself,†+ and as she said this and realized that here on + the very threshold of the entrancing gayeties + she was to put off her fine plumage and see the + other woman pass out of the dressing-room + into the delights beyond, while she crept away + in her own simple garb amid the questioning, + amused, and contemptuous stares of the + haughty dames who had witnessed the exchange, + she broke into a piteous sob.</p> + + <p>“Why, of course to the ball-room, my + darling,†breathed a voice, which low though + it was, thrilled her more than the voice of an + archangel, and she felt herself strained to a + man’s heart and her bare shoulders, which + peeped from the cloak at the thrust of a pair + of strong arms beneath it, came in contact with + the cool, smooth surface of the bosom of a + dress shirt. “Don’t you remember that I engaged + <a class="pagenum" id="page182" title="182"> </a>the second two-step at the Charity + Ball?â€</p> + + <p>Clarissa, almost swooning with joy as she + reclined palpitating upon the manly breast of + Captain William Leadbury, said never a word, + for the power of speech was not in her; the + power of song, of uttering peans of joy, perhaps, + but not the power of speech.</p> + + <p>“Have I assumed too much,†said Leadbury, + gravely, relaxing somewhat the tightness of his + embrace. “Have I, arguing from the fact that + you both served me in the crisis of my career + and saved my life, assumed too much in + believing you love me? If so, I beg your pardon + for arranging this surprise. I will release + you. I——â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, no,†crooned Clarissa, nestling against + him with all the quivering protest of a child + about to be taken from its mother. “You read + my actions rightly. Oh, how I have suffered + this week. No word from you. I could not + understand it. Of course you could not know + I was a girl. But I thought you ought to be + grateful, even to a boy.â€</p> + + <p>“But I did know you were a girl. When + you fell, I began to open the clothes about + your chest. When I discovered your sex, I + <a class="pagenum" id="page183" title="183"> </a>carried you upstairs, placed you on a bed, + threw a blanket over you and was about to call + Miss Bording to take charge of you——â€</p> + + <p>“I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t like Miss + Bording,†said Clarissa.</p> + + <p>“I had left to call her, when that poltroon of + an Anderson Walkley, who had stolen back + into the house after running from it, crept + behind me and struck me back of the ear with + a shaving mug. I dropped unconscious. In + the resulting confusion, your very existence + was as forgotten as your whereabouts was unknown. + You lay there as I had left you until + a maid found you in the morning and packed + you off. It was not until Wednesday that I + was able to be out. I knew you came from + this store, and mousing about in there, I had + no trouble in identifying the nice young page + with the beautiful young woman at the cutlery + counter. I could scarce wait two days, but as + three had already passed, I planned this surprise, + remembering our banter when I talked + with you, disguised as a man of fifty, and now + you are to go in with me as my affianced bride. + We’d better hurry, for the driver must be wondering + what we are thinking about.â€</p> + + <p>It was worthy of remark that even the ladies + <a class="pagenum" id="page184" title="184"> </a>passed many compliments upon the beauty + and grace of Miss Clarissa Dawson, the young + woman who came to the ball with William + Leadbury, former captain in the army of the + Republique Française, heir to the millions of + the late James Leadbury, and a number of + persons esteemed judges of all that pertains to + the Terpsichorean art, declared that when she + appeared upon the floor for the first time, + which was to dance the second two-step with + the gallant soldier, that such was the surpassing + grace with which she revolved over the + floor that one might well say she seemed to be + dancing upon air.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_11" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page185" title="185"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">“It is</span> strange,†said Mr. Middleton, + “that after Clarissa had shown her + devotion to the extent of saving his + life, Captain Leadbury could have + had, even for a moment, any misgivings that + she loved him.â€</p> + + <p>“One cannot always be sure,†said the + emir. “A lover, being in a highly nervous + state because of his emotion, is always more + or less unstrung and unable to form a sound judgment + or behave rationally. It is because of this, + that there are so many lovers’ quarrels. But + one need not be at sea as regards the question + of the affection of the object of his tender + passion. It is only necessary for you to wear + a philter upon the forehead and you can obtain + the love of any woman,†and giving Mesrour + some directions, the Nubian brought to his + master a minute bag of silk an inch square and + of wafer thinness, which, both from its appearance + and the rare odor of musk which it + exhaled, resembled a sachet bag.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page186" title="186"> </a>“Wear this on your forehead,†said the + emir, presenting it to Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“But I would look ridiculous doing that, + and excite comment,†expostulated the student + of law.</p> + + <p>“Not at all,†said the emir. “Put it inside + the sweat-band of the front of your hat and no + one will perceive it and yet it will have all its + potency.â€</p> + + <p>Which, accordingly, Mr. Middleton did, and + having thanked the emir for his entertainment + and instruction and the gift, he departed.</p> + + <p>The close of the relation of the adventure + of Miss Clarissa Dawson left Mr. Middleton in + a most amorous mood. His mind was full of + soft dreams of the delight William Leadbury + must have experienced as he sat in the hack + with Clarissa’s cheek against his, pouring + forth his love into her surprised ear. Before + retiring for the night, he sat for some time + ciphering on the back of an envelope and kept + putting down “$1,000, $500, $560; $560, $500, + $1,000; $500, $560, $1,000; $500, $1,000, + $560,†but as the result of the addition was + never over $2,060, whatever way he put it, and + as the stipend he received for his labors in the + law offices of Brockelsby and Brockman was + <a class="pagenum" id="page187" title="187"> </a>but $26 a month, he did not feel that he had + any business to snatch the young lady of + Englewood to his breast and tell her of his + love and his bank account.</p> + + <p>He went to see her on the following night. + The exquisite beauty of this peerless young + woman had never so impressed him as upon + this night and he was gnawed by the most + intense longing to call her his own. As he + thought of the fortunate William Leadbury + with his rich uncle, he fairly hated him, and + anon he cursed Brockelsby and Brockman for + refusing to raise his salary to a point commensurate + with the value of his services. + Surely, the young lady of Englewood, even + were he to believe her gifted with only ordinary + penetration, instead of being the highly + intelligent and perspicacious person he knew + her to be, could see how he felt and must know + that it was only a question of time and more + money, and assuredly, one so gracious could + not, in view of the circumstances, begrudge + him the advance of one kiss and one embrace + pending the formal offer of himself and his fortunes. + So as he stood in the doorway, bidding + her good-night, right in the midst of an irrelevant + remark concerning the weather, he suddenly + <a class="pagenum" id="page188" title="188"> </a>and without warning, threw his arms + about her and essayed to kiss her. But the + young lady of Englewood, with a cry commingled + of surprise and horror, sprang away.</p> + + <p>“How dare you sir? What made you do + that? What sort of a girl do you think I am?†+ she said in freezing tones.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton replied, stuttering weakly in + a very husky voice, “I think you are a nice + girl.â€</p> + + <p>“A nice girl!†quoth the young lady of + Englewood fiercely. “You know no nice girl + would allow it. Nice girl, indeed. You think + so. You know no nice girl would let you do + such a thing,†and she slammed the door in + his face.</p> + + <p>Away went Mr. Middleton with his heart + full of bitterness because she would not let him + do such a thing, and in the hallway stood the + young lady of Englewood with her heart full + of bitterness because he had tried to do such a + thing and because she could not let him do + such a thing.</p> + + <p>“Much good was the philter,†said Mr. + Middleton, remembering the emir’s gift, but + almost at the same time, he recalled that the + philter had not been on his forehead when he + <a class="pagenum" id="page189" title="189"> </a>attempted to embrace the young lady of + Englewood, for he had held his hat in his + hand.</p> + + <p>The farther he departed from her, the more + his resentment grew, and he declared to himself + that he would never have anything more + to do with her. She was ungrateful, cold, + haughty, not at all the kind of girl he could + wish as his partner for life. He would proceed + to let her see that he could do without her. + He would cast her image from the temple of + his heart and never go near her again. For a + moment, he was disturbed by the thought that + perhaps she would decline to receive him, even + if he should call, but he quickly banished this + unpleasant reflection and fell to devising means + by which he might make it clearly apparent to + the young lady of Englewood that he did not + care.</p> + + <p>“I’ll make her sorry. I’ll show her I don’t + care, I’ll show her I don’t care.â€</p> + + <p>There is a restaurant under the basement of + one of the larger and more celebrated saloons + of the city, where a genial Gaul provides, for + the modest sum of fifty cents, a course dinner, + with wine. The wine is but ordinary California + claret, but the viands are excellently + <a class="pagenum" id="page190" title="190"> </a>cooked and of themselves sufficient inducement + for a wight to part with half a dollar + without consideration of the wine. There are + those who, in the melancholy state that follows + a disappointment in love, go without food and + drink, while others turn to undue indulgence + in drink. There are yet others, though few + observers seem to have noted them, who turn + toward greater indulgence in food, seeking surcease + and forgetfulness of the pains of the + heart in benefactions to the stomach.</p> + + <p>It was very seldom that Mr. Middleton + spent so much as fifty cents upon a meal, but + the conduct of the young lady of Englewood + having deprived him of any present object for + laying up money, and, moreover, the pains of + the heart before alluded to demanding the + vicarious offices of the stomach, he went to the + little French restaurant the next evening.</p> + + <p>It was somewhat late when he arrived and + there were in the room but two diners beside + himself. These were a man and a woman, + who by many little obvious evidences made + manifest that they were not husband and wife. + They had arrived at the dessert and were eating + ice cream with genteel slowness, conversing + the while with great decorum. Both were tall + <a class="pagenum" id="page191" title="191"> </a>and fair, singularly well matched as to height + and the ample and shapely proportions of + their figures, and both were well, though + quietly and even simply, dressed. They were + nearly of an age, too, he being apparently + forty, and she thirty-five. Their years sat + lightly upon them, however, and if upon her + face there were traces left by the longing for + the lover who had not yet come into her life, + that was all which upon either countenance + betrayed that their lives had been other than + care-free and happy. Assuredly, any one + would have called them a fine looking man and + woman. All this Mr. Middleton observed in a + glance or two and then addressed himself to + the comestibles that were set before him and + doubtless would not have given the couple + thought again, had not the waitress at the close + of the meal fluttered at his elbows, placing the + vinegar cruet and Worcestershire sauce bottle + within easy reach, which services caused Mr. + Middleton to look up in some wonder, as he + was engaged with custard pie and he had never + heard of any race of men, however savage, who + used vinegar and Worcestershire sauce upon + custard pie. The waitress, who was a young + woman of a pleasant and intelligent countenance, + <a class="pagenum" id="page192" title="192"> </a>met this glance with another compounded + of mystery and communicativeness, + and bending low while she removed the vinegar + and Worcestershire sauce to a new station, + murmured:</p> + + <p>“That man over there has been here seven + nights running, with a different woman every + time.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton sitting quiet in the surprise + this information caused him, she repeated what + she had said, adding, “and once he was here + at noon besides, different woman every time.â€</p> + + <p>Eight women in seven days! Certainly this + was quite a curious thing.</p> + + <p>“Do you know who he is? Have you ever + seen any of the women before?â€</p> + + <p>“Nop. Don’t know anything about him + except what I have seen of him here. Never + saw any of the women before—nor since.â€</p> + + <p>Nor since. Mr. Middleton found himself + asking himself if anybody had seen any of the + women since. Had the girl in this chance + remark unwittingly hit upon a terrible mystery? + Nor since, nor since.</p> + + <p>The man who had so suddenly assumed an + interest in Mr. Middleton’s eyes, arose, and + going to the window, looked out at the street + <a class="pagenum" id="page193" title="193"> </a>above, which was spattered with a sudden + shower. He began to lament that he had not + brought an umbrella and said he would go + after one, when the storm so increased in + violence that even a person provided with an + umbrella—as was Mr. Middleton—would not + care to venture into it, for such was the might + of the wind now filling the air with its shrieks, + that the rain swept in great lateral sheets which + made an umbrella a futile protection. Yet + notwithstanding this fury of the elements, the + man of many women went out.</p> + + <p>A half hour went by. An hour, and the + storm did not abate and the man did not return. + The good-looking waitress invited Mr. Middleton + to sit at ease by a table in a rear part + of the room, where lolling on the opposite + side, with charming unconsciousness she let + her hand lie stretched more than half across + the board, a rampart of crumpled newspapers + concealing it from the view of the eighth guest + of the mulierose man. But whatever Mr. + Middleton had done on previous occasions and + might do on occasions yet to come, he now + wished to avoid all appearances that might + cause the eighth woman to regard him as at + all inclined to other than discreet and modest + <a class="pagenum" id="page194" title="194"> </a>conduct, for he was resolved to find out what + he could about the man and eight women. So + affecting not to note the hand temptingly disposed, + he discoursed in a voice which was + plainly audible in every corner of the room, + not so much because of its loudness—for he + had but little raised it—as because of a distinct + and precise enunciation. This very precision, + which always implies a regard for the rules, + proprieties and amenities of life, seemed to + stamp him as a man worthy of confidence, + even had not his sentiments been of the most + high-minded character. He described the + great flood of 1882, which wrought such havoc + in Missouri, in which cataclysm his Uncle + Henry Perkins had suffered great loss. He + extolled the commendable conduct of his uncle + in sacrificing valuable property that he might + save a woman; letting a flatboat loaded with + twenty-five hogs whirl away in the raging flood, + in order to rescue a woman from Booneville, + Missouri, the wife of a county judge, who was + floating in the waste of waters upon a small red + barn. The dullest could infer from the approval + he gave this act of his Uncle Henry, unwisely + chivalrous as it might seem in view of + the fact that whoever rescued the judge’s wife + <a class="pagenum" id="page195" title="195"> </a>farther down stream, would return her to the + judge, while no one would return the hogs to + Mr. Perkins—the dullest could infer from his + praise that he was himself a chivalrous and + tender young man whom any woman could + trust.</p> + + <p>The hour was become an hour and a half and + both the pretty waitress and the eighth woman + had grown very fidgetty. The waitress saw + she was to beguile the tedious period of emprisonment + by the tempest with no dalliance + with Mr. Middleton. The eighth woman was + worried by the absence of her escort. Mr. + Middleton stepped to her side, where she stood + staring out at the wind-swept street, and addressed + her.</p> + + <p>“Madame, it would almost seem as if some + accident had detained your escort. May I not + offer to call a cab and see you home? I have + an umbrella with me.â€</p> + + <p>The lady thanked him almost eagerly, saying + that she would wait fifteen minutes more and + at the elapse of that time, her escort not appearing, + would gladly avail herself of his kind + offer.</p> + + <p>Twenty minutes later, they were whirling + away northward. Crossing the Wells Street + <a class="pagenum" id="page196" title="196"> </a>bridge, they turned eastward only a few blocks + from the river. The rain had suddenly ceased. + The wind having relaxed nothing of its fierceness, + it occasionally parted the scudding clouds + high over head to let glimpses of the moon + escape from their wrack, and Mr. Middleton + saw he was in a region whence the invasion of + factories and warehouses had driven the major + portion of the inhabitants forth, leaving their + dwellings untenanted, white for rent signs staring + out of the empty casements like so many + ghosts. The lady signaling the driver to stop, + Mr. Middleton assisted her to alight, and + glanced about him. Here the work of exile + had been very thorough. Not yet had the factories + come into this immediate neighborhood, + but the residents had retreated before the + smoke of their advancing lines, leaving a wide + unoccupied space behind the rear guard. Up + and down the street, in no house could he perceive + a light. The moon shining forth clear + and resplendent, its face unobstructed by + clouds for a moment, he saw stretching away + house after house with white signs that grimly + told their loneliness. Indeed, quite deserted + did appear the very house to whose door they + splashed through the pools in the depressions + <a class="pagenum" id="page197" title="197"> </a>of the tall flight of stone steps. The lady + threw open the door and stepped briskly in, + and her footfalls rang sharply upon a bare floor + and resounded in a hollow echo that told it was + an empty house!</p> + + <p>An empty house! An empty house! What + danger might lurk here and how easy might + losels lure victims to their door! Mr. Middleton + paused on the threshold, staring into the + gloom, but whatever irresolute thoughts he had + entertained of retreat were dispelled by the + sound of a wail from the lady, and the sight + of her face, white in the moonlight, as she + rushed out to him.</p> + + <p>“Oh, oh,†she moaned, gibbering a gush of + words which, despite their incoherence of form, + in their tone proclaimed fear, consternation, + and despair.</p> + + <p>Lighting a match, Mr. Middleton stepped + into the house. Standing in the little circle of + dull yellow light, he saw beneath his feet windrows + of dust and layers of newspapers that had + rested beneath a carpet but lately removed, and + beyond, dusk emptiness, and silence. He + advanced, looking for a chandelier, but though + he found two, the incandescent globes had + been removed from them. Throwing a mass + <a class="pagenum" id="page198" title="198"> </a>of the papers from the floor into the grate and + lighting them, a bright glare brought out every + corner of the room. There was nothing but + the four bare walls.</p> + + <p>“They have taken everything, everything!†+ cried the poor lady.</p> + + <p>“Who?†asked Mr. Middleton, after the + manner of his profession.</p> + + <p>“Who? Would that I knew!—Thieves.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton then realized she had been + the victim of a form of robbery far too common, + where the scoundrels come with drays + and carry off the whole household equipment, + in the householder’s absence. That which had + been done in comparatively well-populated + quarters was easy of accomplishment on this + deserted street.</p> + + <p>Penetrated with compassion, he moved + toward the unfortunate woman, who with an + abandonment he had not expected of one so + stately and reserved, threw herself upon his + breast, weeping as though her heart would + break.</p> + + <p>“They have taken everything. How can I + get along now! My piano is gone and how + can I give lessons without it! I will have to + go back to Peoria!â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page199" title="199"> </a>Soothingly Mr. Middleton patted the weeping + woman on the back. With infinite tenderness, + he kissed her tear-bedewed cheeks and + gently he laid her head upon his shoulder, and + then with both arms clasped about her, he imparted + to her statuesque figure a sort of rocking + motion, crooning with each oscillation, + “There, there, there, there,†until the paroxysm + of her grief abated and passed from + weeping into gradually subsiding sobs, and he + began to tell her that he would be only too + happy to give his legal services to convict the + villains when caught—as they surely would be. + The lady by degrees becoming more cheerful + and giving him a description of the stolen + property, he discussed ways and means of + recovering it, and to prevent her from relapsing + into her former depressed condition, occasionally + imprinted a consolatory salute upon + her cheek, from which he had previously wiped + the wet tracks of the tears that had now some + time ceased gushing, for there had been a salty + taste to the first osculations, which while not + actually disagreeable, had not been to his + liking.</p> + + <p>At length, the lady not only ceased even to + sigh, but even to talk, and yet remained leaning + <a class="pagenum" id="page200" title="200"> </a>upon him, which was whether because she + was weary, exhausted by grief, or whether + because her supporter was such a good looking + young man, is not evident. Doubtless it was + true that at first her misery and unhappiness + made her need the sympathetic caresses of any + one within reach and that with the return of + her equilibrium she continued to make this an + excuse for enjoying without any reproach of + impropriety a recreation which ordinarily the + conventions of society would compel her to + eschew. As for the rising light in the legal + profession, he began to find the weight she + leant upon him oppressive, and his occupation, + delightful at first, palling and growing monotonous. + The monotony he somewhat relieved by + frequently kissing her, now on one velvet + cheek, now on the other, and again her lips; + slowly, one two, three, in waltz measure; and + rapidly, one, two three, four, in two-step measure, + when all at once in the midst of a sustained + half note there came to him the + reflection that this was no time of night for + him to be there in the dark in a deserted house + kissing a woman with whose social standing, + whose very name, he was unacquainted. He + was about to ask a few leading questions, when + <a class="pagenum" id="page201" title="201"> </a>there was the sound of wheels in the street; a + carriage stopped before the door.</p> + + <p>Quickly extricating himself from the lady’s + arms, Mr. Middleton stepped to the door, only + to see the carriage drive away, the sound of + voices singing a solemn chant in a strange and + unknown tongue floating back to him. Wondering + what all this could mean, he turned to + find the lady standing at his side, silently + regarding him in a wrapt manner.</p> + + <p>“The hour is late,†said she, in a hollow, + mournful voice, “and I ought to be seeking + some shelter where I can lay my head, but + where, oh, where?â€</p> + + <p>The lady made a tragic gesture as she asked + this question, and there in that lonely street + with this lorn woman at this late hour of the + night in the eerie light of the cloud-obscured + moon, with the wind, now howling and now + sobbing and moaning, Mr. Middleton felt very + solemn indeed. But he pulled himself together + and suggested a low-priced and respectable + hotel not far away, and toward this they were + faring when they passed a house which, unlike + most of the others of the vicinity, bore signs + of habitation, and unlike any of the others, + had a light showing in a window. In fact, + <a class="pagenum" id="page202" title="202"> </a>there was a light in every window of the two + upper stories and in the windows of the first + floor and even in the basement. Pausing to + wonder at this unusual illumination, Mr. Middleton + felt his arm suddenly clutched, and a + voice which he would never have believed + came from the lady, if there had been any + one else present, grated into his ear, “It’s + him.â€</p> + + <p>Though startled by this enigmatical utterance, + he followed when she ascended two steps + of the stoop for a better view in the uncurtained + window. There, with his face buried in + his hands, seated on a roll of carpeting with a + tack hammer and saucer of tacks at his side, + sat the mulierose man!</p> + + <p>“This house was empty at four this afternoon,†+ said the lady. “Heavens, that’s my + piano in the corner! That’s my center table! + I believe that’s my carpet! That’s my watercolor + painting I painted myself! <em>He’s</em> robbed + me!â€</p> + + <p>Her voice rose to a shriek, and at the sound + a woman’s head popped out of the window + above and the mulierose man came running to + the door. He was in his shirt sleeves but wore + a hat.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page203" title="203"> </a>“You’ve robbed me, you’ve robbed me!†+ cried the lady.</p> + + <p>“I haven’t,†said the mulierose man with + the utmost composure. “I can explain it all + satisfactorily. Come in. My Aunt Eliza is + here and tea is ready. Where were you when + I went back to the restaurant? They said you + had gone. Where were you?â€</p> + + <p>To Mr. Middleton’s surprise, the lady immediately + quieted at the words of the mulierose + man and instead of berating him, coughed + nervously and hung her head sheepishly.</p> + + <p>“Where were you?†repeated the man.</p> + + <p>“At my house.â€</p> + + <p>“All this time? With this young man?†+ There was a tinge of hardness and jealousy in + the man’s voice and he looked unpleasantly at + Mr. Middleton. “What did you stay in that + empty house all this time for? What-were-you-doing-there?â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton was at his wit’s end to supply + a hypothesis to answer why the mulierose man, + from being a criminal and object of the lady’s + just wrath, should suddenly have become an + inquisitor, sitting in judgment upon her conduct.</p> + + <p>“I—I—was afraid to start right away. It + <a class="pagenum" id="page204" title="204"> </a>was dark in there and I was afraid this young + man might take liberties. Indeed, he did try + to kiss me.â€</p> + + <p>With a roar, the mulierose man launched + himself at Mr. Middleton, who dexterously + stepping aside, had the satisfaction of seeing + his assailant slip and fall on the wet sidewalk. + The lady thereat raised a cry of great volume, + which was taken up by the woman looking out + of the window above, and Mr. Middleton + thinking he could derive neither pleasure nor + profit from remaining longer in that locality, + fled incontinently.</p> + + <p>Upon his arrival home and preparing for + bed, he found that he was wearing a stiff hat + made in Kansas City, bearing on the sweat-band + a silver plate inscribed “George W. + Dobson.†The mulierose man and he had + exchanged hats at the restaurant. The mulierose + man now had the love philter.</p> + + <p>It was not until four days had elapsed that + Mr. Middleton found an opportunity to visit + the street where these inexplicable events took + place. The house where he had comforted + the eighth woman was still empty. At the + house whence the mulierose man had issued, a + very unprepossessing old woman, with a teapot + <a class="pagenum" id="page205" title="205"> </a>in her right hand, was opening the front + door to admit a large yellow cat whom she + addressed as “Mahoney,†an appellation which, + while not infrequently the family name of persons + of Irish birth or descent, is of very seldom + application to members of the domestic + cat tribe, Felis cattus.</p> + + <p>Wondering greatly at the chain of unusual + events, he went about his business. You may + depend upon it that he gave much thought to + an attempted solution of all these mysteries. + But whether or no it was after all only a series + of events commonplace in themselves, but + seeming mysterious because of their fortuitous + concatenation, or he really had trodden upon + the hem of a web of strange and darksome, + perhaps appalling, mysteries, he has never + been able to say. He was minded to speak of + these things to the emir and get his opinion on + them. Upon reflection, remembering how the + philter had not been of any avail in the case of + the young lady of Englewood, he thought, + despite the explanation which might be + offered for this failure, that the emir might be + embarrassed at hearing of the failure of the + charm, and accordingly he said nothing when + once more he sat in the presence of the urbane + <a class="pagenum" id="page206" title="206"> </a>and accomplished prince of the tribe of + Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately + flavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate + The Unpleasant Adventure of the + Faithless Woman.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_12" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page207" title="207"> </a>The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Dr. August Moehrlein</span>, Ph. D., + was a professor of the languages and + religions of India. A man of great + gravity of countenance and of impressive + port, he was popularly reputed to have a + complete knowledge of the occult learning of + the adepts of India, that nebulous and mysterious + philosophy which irreducible to the + laws of nature as recognized by Occidentals, + is by them pronounced either magic and feared + as such, or ridiculed and despised as pretentious + mummery and deluding prestidigitation. + There was a legend among the students of his + department that he was wont to project himself + into the fourth dimension and thus traveling + downtown, effect a substantial saving of + street-car fare. This is clearly impossible, for + the yogis do not thus move about in their own + persons. It is only the astral self that flies + leagues through the air with the rapidity of + thought, only the spiritual essence, the living + man’s ghost flying abroad while the living + <a class="pagenum" id="page208" title="208"> </a>man’s corpse lies inanimate at home. But + even this, Dr. August Moehrlein could not do, + for the yogis do not initiate men of Western + nations into their mysteries. Dr. Moehrlein’s + knowledge of the occult of India was wholly + empirical. He knew that certain things were + done and could recount them, but as to how + they were done, he could tell nothing. It + must not be thought that of all the marvelous + and awe-compelling things the yogis of India + are accustomed to do, none can be assigned to + any other origin than cunning legerdemain and + hypnotism, or to the exercise of supernatural + powers. Many of them are due to a strange + and wonderful knowledge of nature which the + science of the Occident has not yet reached in + all its boasted advance. Yet when once explained, + the Westerner understands some of + these phenomena and is able to repeat them. + Into this region of the penumbra of science and + exact knowledge the researches of Dr. Moehrlein + had taken him a little way and it was this + that had gained him his reputation among his + pupils as a thaumaturgist.</p> + + <p>Along with the learning which this country + has imported from Germany have come some + customs to which the savants of both that + <a class="pagenum" id="page209" title="209"> </a>country and this ascribe a certain fostering + influence, if not a creative impulse, highly + advantageous to the national scholarship. It + is the habit of the university men of Germany + to foregather of nights in the genial pursuit of + drinking beer, and many of the notable + theories which German scholarship has propounded + are to be directly attributed to this + stimulating good fellowship known as kommers. + Indeed, when one has imbibed twelve + or fourteen steins of beer and sat in an atmosphere + of tobacco smoke for some hours, his + mind attains a clarity, a sense of proportion, a + power of reflection, speculation, and intuition + which enables him to evolve those notable + theories for which German scholarship is so + famous. It is under the intellectual stimulus + of the kommers, when the foam lies thick in + the steins and blue clouds of tobacco smoke + roll overhead, that the great classical scholars + of Germany perceive that the classical epics, + the Iliad, the Odyssey, the Aeneid, are but the + typifying of the rolling of the clouds in the + empyrean, the warfare of the foam-crested + waves dashing upon the land, that the metamorphoses + and amours of the gods and all the + myths of the elder world, are but the mutations + <a class="pagenum" id="page210" title="210"> </a>of the clouds and the fanciful figures they + take on and the metamorphoses and hurryings + of the ever-changing sea with its foam forms + and the shadows that lie across its unquiet + surface. Wonderful indeed is the scientific + imagination that thus accounts for, classifies, + and labels the imagination of the poets, which + otherwise we might think a thing defying + classification, an inspiration, a creative genius + taking nothing from a dim suggestion of the + cold clouds and sea, but weaving its tales from + the suggestion of human lives and human passions. + Wonderful indeed is the good sense of + the rest of the world in accepting unquestioned + these important discoveries of German scholars + in the beer kellars, which well might be called + the laboratories of the classical department of + the German universities.</p> + + <p>Dr. August Moehrlein was a staunch advocate + of the advantage of the kommers as an + adjunct to every thoroughly organized university. + If he could not gather others for a kommers, + he would hold a kommers all by himself, + or perchance with the barkeeper. Needless + to say that the name of Moehrlein was attached + to many valuable and plausible theories which + America received as the last word on the subject + <a class="pagenum" id="page211" title="211"> </a>treated; needless to tell you that the + various gods of India had been identified with + the sun, moon, and more important stars, and + that it was conclusively shown that the Sanskrit + romancers had written their tales by + merely looking at the clouds and the sea. + Would that this accomplishment of the ancients + had not gone from us and that the moderns + might write as the ancients by merely + looking at the clouds and the sea. Dr. + Moehrlein was an upholder of the kommers. + But his wife, though German-born, behaved + like a very Philistine and objected to his constant + and unwavering attendance upon these + occasions of intellectual uplift. For as the + doctor added to the knowledge of the world, + he added to his weight. He had identified + Brahma with the sun, but had drunk his face + purple in the intellectual effort. In his search + for the suggestions of the tale of Nala, he had + acquired a paunch very like a bag. Mrs. + Moehrlein was accustomed to shrink from the + approach of the victim of the pursuit of knowledge. + As for him, he would have liked to + caress and fondle her. To him there was + always present a remembrance of her early + beauty and the golden mist of memory shone + <a class="pagenum" id="page212" title="212"> </a>before his eyes and he did not see that she was + a heavy, middle-aged woman with coarse + features and coarse figure. Animal beauty she + had once had. The beauty had utterly flown, + but the animal all remained. She had a shifty + and wandering eye, burned out and lusterless, + that told of dreams that were of men, men who + these many years had not included her husband, + grotesque figure that he was, ugly as a + satyr in one of the myths suggested by the + clouds and the sea.</p> + + <p>It was a pleasant day of the last of May, in + the mating season of birds, when the world was + warm and throbbing with young life. The + eminent Asiatic scholar looked across the + lunch table, regarding his wife with wistful + sadness as she refreshed herself with boiled + cabbage.</p> + + <p>“Do you know the day? It is thirty years + since Hilsenhoff went into the box; thirty + years since we have been man and—woman.â€</p> + + <p>“Ah, yes, this is the anniversary. Thirty + years, thirty years. Poor young Hilsenhoff.â€</p> + + <p>She said these words with a tinge of sadness + that was almost regret and this did not escape + the doctor.</p> + + <p>“One might fancy you were sorry. Yet it + <a class="pagenum" id="page213" title="213"> </a>was your own doing. I was young and handsome + then. A Hercules, young, full of life, + late champion swordsman of the university, a + rising light in the realm of learning, as well as + a figure in society. You were the beautiful + wife of tutor Hilsenhoff, the buxom girl with + the form of a Venus and the passion of that + goddess as well, tied to a thin, pallid bookworm + ten years your senior, neglecting his + pouting wife with blood full of fire for the + pages of the literature of Hindoostan, prating + of the loves of Ganesha and Vishnu, when a + goddess awaited his own neglectful arms. So + when on the day when he stepped into the + box, leaving us the sole repository of the secret + of his whereabouts—that the mutton-headed + police might not interfere with the success of + his experiment by preventing what they might + think practically suicide—you said to let him + stay.â€</p> + + <p>“I was twenty and he thirty,†mused the + woman. “Poor young Hilsenhoff.â€</p> + + <p>“Young! I was twenty-three—and a man.â€</p> + + <p>“Dead or alive, he is young Hilsenhoff to + me. He was thirty when last I saw him.â€</p> + + <p>“Dead or alive? What are you thinking + of?â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page214" title="214"> </a>An idea had been taking shape in the + woman’s mind without her realizing it. It had + grown from her own words, rather than had + the words sprung from the idea.</p> + + <p>“Why, if a man be brought into a condition + where all bodily functions are suspended and + he is as he were dead, and remain in this condition + for months and be brought out of it no + more harmed than if he had slept overnight, + why may it not be years, instead of months? + Has any man ever proved that, in this condition, + one may not live on indefinitely?†she said.</p> + + <p>“No man has ever proved that one cannot, + but what is more important, no man has ever + proved that one can. No man has ever proved + beyond shadow of doubt that one may not + fashion wings and fly, but no man has ever + demonstrated that one can. In India, only + one man has ever tried to continue in a state + of suspended animation for over six months, + and that was the rajah who, condemned to death + by the English, ostensibly died before the soldiers + could come to carry out the sentence and + was brought out of his tomb and restored to + life three days after a new British viceroy had + proclaimed a general amnesty to all past + offenders. The period was eight months. If + <a class="pagenum" id="page215" title="215"> </a>the viceroys had not been changed for a number + of years, we might have learned more concerning + the length of the period in which a man + may continue in the semblance of death without + it becoming reality. No, these twenty-five + years has Hilsenhoff been bones.â€</p> + + <p>“Then let us take them out and bury them.â€</p> + + <p>“No, no. Then would I feel like a murderer + indeed. I left him in there for you. Now let + his bones rest there for sake of me.â€</p> + + <p>But the woman had become possessed of an + idea which in turn possessed her, a dream, for + which like all mankind, she would fight harder + than for any substantiality, for no reality can + be so glorious as a dream.</p> + + <p>“But there was the man at Sutlej, the man + who had himself buried in a wheat field for the + edification of Alexander the Great, there to + remain until a wheat crop had passed through + its stages from sowing until harvest.â€</p> + + <p>“The man at Sutlej!†exclaimed the doctor + impatiently. “That a man was thus buried, + the pages of Quintus Curtius’s history show, + and the Macedonian armies suddenly retreating + from India, he was forgotten and not one, + but two thousand wheat harvests have been + garnered over his burial place.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page216" title="216"> </a>“But the article in the <em lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Revue Des Deux + Mondes</em>, telling how he had been found,†+ objected the woman faintly.</p> + + <p>The doctor looked at her in amazement.</p> + + <p>“What will not people do to believe that + which they wish to believe. You, you, you!—do + you ask me concerning that lie in the <em lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Revue + Des Deux Mondes?</em> Oh, woman, woman! + When did your memory of the details of that + hoax fail you? Not longer ago than ten minutes. + A lying Frenchman said he was on his way to + France with a resuscitated contemporary of + Alexander the Great and that a full account of + the matter would be published in two or three + months. Hilsenhoff left the duration of his + stay in the box at my discretion, enjoining + me, however, that he should not be taken out + before the Frenchman had published the full + account of the Sutlej case, for we would then + have many interesting comparisons in his + behavior and response to the restorative + methods used, and the reaction and response + of this man buried two thousand years to the + same methods for restoring suspended animation. + The Frenchman never arrived with his + man. It was all a lie. Yet by following + Hilsenhoff’s solemn injunctions to the letter, + <a class="pagenum" id="page217" title="217"> </a>we had an excuse to leave him as dead, and + you insisted that we should do so, and I, weak + and infatuated with your ripe beauty, I agreed. + You said that we would leave him in his self-chosen + sleep and that he should be our lodger. + And so he has been and we have never called + him to breakfast in all these thirty years. We + have even brought him to America with us and + he sleeps. Ah, no, we did not slay him. We + but obeyed his commands.â€</p> + + <p>“Poor young Hilsenhoff. And I am his wife + and he is but thirty years old and I am fifty. + Heigho!â€</p> + + <p>“Woman, you will drive me crazy,†said the + great annotator of the Upanishads, and he left + for a kommers with the nearest barkeeper.</p> + + <p>“As if you did not drive me crazy, you + obese, misshapen wine skin! you bloated, blue-faced + sot!†said the woman. “I deserted + young Hilsenhoff for you, Hilsenhoff with his + delicate cheeks and his soft yellow hair, and + he is mine and I am his and I will let him out + of the box and we will live together in love, + the dear young thing. What if he does study + sometimes? I shall not mind. He need not + always sit with me in love’s dalliance.â€</p> + + <p>All at once it came home to her that if + <a class="pagenum" id="page218" title="218"> </a>Moehrlein maintained the resuscitation of + Hilsenhoff was impossible and charged her + with believing it possible because she wished + to believe it so, it might also be true that he + did not believe it possible because he did not + wish to so believe. The burned out eyes that + told of dreams of men, men who these many + years had not included her husband, smoldered + with a sudden fire. With a song in her heart, + she was up and bustling about. She filled a + brazier with coals and got a frying-pan and + wheat-cake batter, and a razor and a crocheting + hook—ah, she knew how the process of + restoring suspended animation was practised. + She lumbered up into the third story with her + burdens, into the room where slept the + lodger. Not for fifteen years had anyone + looked into that sleeping chamber. The + blinds and curtains, all were drawn, the dust + lay thick under foot. She let in the light of + day at every window. There sat the box in + the middle of the floor, hooped with bands of + iron and with the great seal of the University + of Bonn stamped upon the lock. She broke + the seal and turned the lock and then sank + down in a sudden faintness of heart. Indeed, + how loath she was to put an end to the dream + <a class="pagenum" id="page219" title="219"> </a>that had just now filled her whole being with + rapture, and what else would it be but to put + an end to it when she delved into that box? + She would go away and let herself dream on a + few days more before putting the matter to its + final test, perhaps never doing so. Thus she + reasoned, and yet her hand, as she sat before + the box with averted face, rose as if impelled + by the volition of another intelligence, over + the edge of the box, down to the mass of wool + and wadding, through it to the wrappings and + swathings in the middle, through the wrapping, + and felt—the thrill of unimaginable joy + ran through her. It was not bones, it was not + bones!</p> + + <p>Into the room of the lodger came Dr. August + Moehrlein. The coals of the brazier were out, + the batter had been turned into cakes, the + razor was covered with hair, four waxen plugs + lay by the crocheting hook. The process was + over. The sleeper was awake and there he + stood, his delicate face yet pinched with sleep + and his eyes heavy, but alive and young, + young Hilsenhoff with his soft yellow hair and + mild blue eyes. On the floor before him in an + attitude of adoration, knelt the woman who in + the view of the law, was his wife, her eyes + <a class="pagenum" id="page220" title="220"> </a>burned out no longer, but aflash with youthful + passion. But in her eyes alone was there + youth. Nothing of youthful archness and + coquetry was there in her gaze, only greed, the + sickening fondness of an aging woman for a + young man. In a daze, he stared at her and + heard her clumsy compliments, her vulgar + protestations of love, things which the ripe + beauty of her youth might have condoned, but + now were nauseating. He saw her heavy jowls + and sensual lips, the thick nose and all the + revenges of time upon a once beautiful body + that had clothed an ugly soul. He looked at + his own rusty clothing, stiff and hard and + creased in a thousand wrinkles, and into the + mildewed nest where the mould from the + moisture of his own body grew thick and green + and horrible. He gazed at Dr. Moehrlein, the + one-time Adonis of Bonn, and he shuddered, + and which of what he looked at, or whether + all, made him do so, he could not tell.</p> + + <p>Old men like young women, but so do old + women hanker after young men. The life + companion of Moehrlein embraced Hilsenhoff’s + knees. With smirkings and grimacings and + leers that started his shudders afresh, she told + him all. She confessed her crime and abased + <a class="pagenum" id="page221" title="221"> </a>herself, but now they would begin life again, + and she croaked forth a string of allurements + from a throat that had known too many rich + puddings. Oh, who shall describe her transports! + Never before had every fiber of her + being been so penetrated with joy! A young + husband, oh, a young husband! By as much + as Moehrlein had once surpassed him, did + Hilsenhoff now surpass Moehrlein a hundred + fold. And young, young, young! She was + like to fall on her face in her ecstasy. The + discarded and despised Moehrlein stood by + and paid, if never before, the price of his villainy. + There is a contempt of man for man + and a contempt of woman for woman, but the + contempt of woman for man——</p> + + <p>One sleeps and is unconscious, but nonetheless + by some subtle sense is aware of the passage + of time, and the thirty years that he had + slept, pressed upon young Hilsenhoff and his + soul yearned to take up life again. He looked + at the companions of his youth, that youth + which was still his and had gone from them, + and he looked at the place where he had lain + for a third of a century, thick with damp green + mould. Outside the song of birds was calling + him, the rustle of green leaves and the glorious + <a class="pagenum" id="page222" title="222"> </a>sunlight, the world renewing its life with the + warm throbs of the year’s youth, and putting + from him forever his living grave and the + woman and her paramour, he rushed into the + joyous springtide.</p> + + <p>Now why, my friend, descend into the hell + of repinings and rage and heart-gnawings of + that woman he left behind? Or why tell of the + misery of the learned Dr. Moehrlein? She has + no comfort whatsoever, but the doctor has the + solace of his kommers, so let us wish that his + beer may be forever flat, his wieners mildewy, + and the mustard mouldy like the horrible nest + of young Hilsenhoff.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_13" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page223" title="223"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">“I did</span> not know that such things were + possible,†said Mr. Middleton, when + Prince Achmed had concluded the + tale of the episode of the two Orientalists + and the faithless woman. “Do I + understand that the person in this condition is + asleep?â€</p> + + <p>“It is not consistent with strict scientific + accuracy to say the person is asleep,†said the + emir; “for the vital processes are entirely in + abeyance and the subject is devoid of any evidence + of life. The pulse is still, for the heart + no longer beats and all the blood having + retreated to that inmost citadel of the body, + the skin has the pallor of death. Only in a + little spot upon the crown is there any sign of + life. Here is a place warm to the touch and + the first and most important operation in restoring + the suspended animation, is to send this + vital warmth forth from where it still feebly + simmers, coursing once more through the + <a class="pagenum" id="page224" title="224"> </a>body’s shrunken channels. This is accomplished + by shaving the crown and applying + thereto a succession of piping hot pancakes. + The tongue has been curved back over the + entrance to the throat. You reach into the + mouth and with a finger pull the tongue back + into place. Plugs of wax in the nostrils and + ears are removed, and in a very short time the + subject is as well as ever.â€</p> + + <p>“It is very interesting,†murmured Mr. + Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Since you find it so, let me present you + with a little treatise upon the subject written + by a Mohammedan hakim, or doctor of medicine, + after studying several cases of the kind + at Madras, which is in India,†and at his bidding, + Mesrour brought him a small portable + writing desk from which he took a manuscript + scroll inscribed in the Arabic language. “The + first page,†said Prince Achmed, “contains a + few thoughts upon the superiority of the Moslem + faith over all others and a discussion of the + follies, inconsistencies, not to say evils of them + all when compared with that perfect religious + system declared to men by the Prophet of + Mecca,†and having in an orotund voice given + Mr. Middleton some idea of the contents of + <a class="pagenum" id="page225" title="225"> </a>this page by quoting a number of sentences, + the prince handed him the sheet, which was + inscribed upon one side only. The emir continuing + to give a summary of what the hakim + set forth in the remaining pages, and handing + over each sheet as he finished it, Mr. Middleton + wrote in short-hand upon the blank side of + each preceding sheet what the emir culled from + the one following, omitting, of course, the contents + of the first sheet, both because he had + nothing to write upon while the emir was quoting + from that one, and because its theology + was entirely contrary to all Mr. Middleton held, + and, in his eyes, ridiculous and sacrilegious. + When the emir had done, Mr. Middleton had + in his possession a succinct account of the + process of inducing a condition of suspended + animation and of the means of restoring the + subject to his normal state. It was his intention + to write an article from his notes for some + Sunday paper, and putting the hakim’s treatise + in his pocket, and thanking his host for the + entertainment and instruction as well as the + gift, he sought his lodgings.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton had now been admitted to + the bar for some time. But the firm of + Brockelsby and Brockman did not therefore + <a class="pagenum" id="page226" title="226"> </a>raise his salary. They made greater demands + upon his endeavors than before, for he was now + able to handle cases in court, but they did not + raise his salary, nor did they employ him upon + cases where he was able to distinguish himself, + or learn new points of law and gain forensic + ability. He was employed upon humdrum + and commonplace cases that were a vexation + to his spirit without any compensating advantage + of pecuniary reward or experience. + While he felt that his self-respect and on one + hand his self-interests impelled him to resign + his connection with Brockelsby and Brockman, + on the other hand, the very course his employers + pursued made such retirement temporarily + inexpedient. For the trivial cases he handled + could neither gain him reputation enough or + make him friends enough to warrant him in setting + up for himself, nor would they attract the + attention of other firms and result in offers at + an increased salary. He was in a measure + forced to remain with Brockelsby and Brockman, + hoping they would be moved to pay him + according to his worth and dreaming of some + contingency which might place in his hands the + management of an important case with the + resulting enhancing of his reputation.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page227" title="227"> </a>On the morning after he had received the + dissertation of the hakim, Mr. Middleton arose + with the first streak of dawn, minded to seek + the office and write his projected article before + the time for his regular duties should arrive. + As he opened the door of the main office, his + ear was saluted by a low grunting sound, and + there in evening dress was Mr. Augustus + Alfonso Brockelsby, reclining in a big chair, + asleep, if one could with propriety call the + stupor in which he was sunk, sleep. The disorder + of his garments, the character of his + sternutations, the redness of his face, and + above all, the odor he distilled upon the chill + morning air, made patent to Mr. Middleton + the disgusting fact that the senior member of + the firm was drunk. On the table before the + unconscious man was a note from Mr. Brockman + informing him that he had been unexpectedly + called to Lansing, Michigan, and would + not be back for a week and that therefore he, + Brockelsby, would have to attend to the important + case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer, + all by himself. Mr. Middleton at once set + about bringing his employer into a condition + where he could attend to his affairs, for the + case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer was a very + <a class="pagenum" id="page228" title="228"> </a>important one indeed, and as Mr. Middleton + had briefed the case himself and had his sympathies + greatly excited for Johannes Hippenmeyer, + he was very anxious that their client + should not lose for default of any effort he + could make. But his heart was heavy as he + brought towels and a basin of cold water from + the wash-room, for after he had done his very + best, Brockelsby would still be far from the + proper form, his brain befogged, his speech + thick, and the counsel for the other side would + make short work of him.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton had never tried to sober a + drunken man, but he had an indistinct recollection + of hearing that a towel wet with cold + water, wrapped around the head was the best + remedial agent. As he soaked the towels, he + could not but compare the difference between + this chill restorative and the hot cakes in the + tale of the emir, and on a sudden there came + to him a thought that sent all the gloom from + his face. He dropped the towels, he dropped + the basin, and he opened the treatise of the + hakim and feverishly refreshed his memory of + the details of an operation sometimes practised + in India.</p> + + <p>An hour and a half had passed when Mr. + <a class="pagenum" id="page229" title="229"> </a>Middleton finished. Mr. Augustus Brockelsby + still sat in the revolving chair, but he was no + longer disturbing the air with his unseemly + grunts. He was, in fact, absolutely silent, + absolutely still. The keenest touch could feel + no pulsation in his wrist, the keenest eye could + detect no agitation of his chest, the keenest ear + could hear no beating from the region of the + heart. For a moment as he gazed upon the + result of following the instructions set down by + the hakim, Mr. Middleton felt a little clutch + of fear. But he was reassured by the lifelike + appearance of the learned jurisconsult and by + the fact that the induction into his present + state had been attended by none of the manifestations + that accompany death.</p> + + <p>“Now,†said Mr. Middleton, addressing the + unconscious form of Augustus Brockelsby, + “now there will be no chance of you appearing + in court in the case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer. + I will not restore you until it is all + over. I will now have the long coveted opportunity + to plead an important case and as I have + studied it so carefully, I shall win. There will + now be no chance that poor little Hippenmeyer + will suffer from your disgraceful and bestial + habits, for in spite of the best that could be + <a class="pagenum" id="page230" title="230"> </a>done for you, you would be in no fit condition + to plead a case this afternoon. And when I + bring you to at fall of night, you will think you + have been drunk all day. But where will I + keep you in the meantime?â€</p> + + <p>This was a most perplexing problem. There + were no closets in the suite of offices. There + were no boxes, no desks big enough to conceal + a man and Mr. Middleton’s brow was beginning to + contract as he struggled with the problem, + when suddenly the stillness of the room + was disturbed by some one smiting the door. + Not a sound made he, for his heart had stopped + beating as completely as Brockelsby’s. What + should he do, what should he do? The + paralysis of fear answered for him and supplied + the best present plan and he did nothing. + Then came a voice, a voice calling him by + name, the voice of Chauncy Stackelberg.</p> + + <p>“Open up, old man, open up. I know you + are there, for I heard you knocking around + before I rapped and you dropped your handkerchief + outside the door. Open up, or I’ll + shin right over the transom, for I must see + you,†and still preserving silence, Mr. Middleton + heard a sound as of a man essaying to + stand on the door knob and grasp the transom + <a class="pagenum" id="page231" title="231"> </a>above. He rushed to the door, unlocked it, + and opening it just enough to squeeze through, + shut it behind him and thrust the key in the lock.</p> + + <p>“Keep still, keep still. You’ll wake the old + man. I can’t let you in.â€</p> + + <p>“Was that him, slumped down in the chair? + Must be tired to sleep in that position. Say, + old chap, you were my best man, and now I + want you again.â€</p> + + <p>“Want me to draw up papers for a divorce?†+ said Mr. Middleton, gloomily. How was he + going to get rid of this inopportune fellow?</p> + + <p>“Shut up,†said Chauncy Stackelberg. “It’s + a boy, and I want you to come up to the christening + next Sunday and be godfather. You + don’t know how happy I am. Say, come on + down and get a drink.â€</p> + + <p>Ten minutes before, Mr. Middleton had been + convinced that drink was a very great curse, + but he accepted this invitation with alacrity, + naming a saloon two blocks away as the one + he considered best in that vicinity. He + surmised that the happy father would hardly + offer to come back with him from such a distance, + and the surmise was correct. As he + reascended to the office, with him in the elevator + were two gentlemen, one of whom he + <a class="pagenum" id="page232" title="232"> </a>recognized as Dr. Angus McAllyn, a celebrated + surgeon who had two or three times come to + the office to see Mr. Brockelsby and the other + as Dr. Lucius Darst, a young eye and ear + specialist who within the space of but a few + days had established his office in the building. + To neither of these gentlemen, however, was + Mr. Middleton known.</p> + + <p>“I want you to get off on this floor with + me,†said Dr. McAllyn to his medical confrere. + “I may want your assistance a bit. + You see,†he went on, as they got out of the + elevator and started down the corridor with + Mr. Middleton just behind, “we had a banquet + last night of the Society of Andrew Jackson’s + Wars, and my friend Brockelsby got too much + aboard. He was turned over to me to take to + his home, but just as we were leaving, I + received an urgent call. So the best I could + do was to drive by here and start him toward + his office and go on. He could navigate after + a fashion and doubtless spent the night all + right in his office, and I would take no farther + trouble with him but for the fact that he has an + important case to-day. So I want to fix him + up, and as I haven’t much time, you can be of + service to me.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page233" title="233"> </a>“Ah, ha,†said Mr. Middleton to himself, + “I’ll just lie low until they have given up trying + to get in and have gone.â€</p> + + <p>But they did not go away. To his consternation, + they opened the door and walked in, + for though he had put the key in the lock when + he had closed the door behind him to parley + with Chauncy Stackelberg, he had walked away + without turning it! They would find Mr. Brockelsby! + Great though Dr. McAllyn was, he + would hardly be likely to recognize a condition + of suspended animation. Unless Mr. Middleton + confessed, there was danger that the famous + forensic orator would be buried alive. And + if he confessed, what would the consequences + be to himself? The fact that in whatever event + he would lose his place and be a marked and + disgraced man, was the very least thing to consider. + He was threatened with far more serious + dangers than that. First, there would be + the vengeance the law would take upon him + for meddling with and tampering with medical + matters. But even if he had been a physician, + would the medical faculty look otherwise than + with horror upon this rash and wanton experimenting + with the strange and unholy practices + of India? Even a medical man would be + <a class="pagenum" id="page234" title="234"> </a>arrested for malpractice and for depriving a + fellow being of the use of his faculties. The + penitentiary stared him in the face.</p> + + <p>He could not endure not to know what was + taking place within. He must have knowledge + of everything in order to know what moves to + make and when to make them. He let himself + through the outer door of Mr. Brockman’s + private office, and by taking a position by the + door communicating between this office and + the main office, he could hear everything in + safety.</p> + + <p>“Shall I send for an undertaker?†asked Dr. + Darst.</p> + + <p>At these chilling words, Mr. Middleton was + about to open the private office door and rush + in and confess all. He had begun to place the + key in the lock, when a joyful thought stayed + his hand. Let them bury Mr. Brockelsby. + He would dig him up. He laughed noiselessly + in his intense relief. But hark, what does he + hear?</p> + + <p>“Darst, this is an unusual case.â€</p> + + <p>“Yes?†said Dr. Darst mildly.</p> + + <p>“A strange, a remarkable case. Darst, if we + do not examine this case, we are traitors to + science. Darst, we must take him to the + <a class="pagenum" id="page235" title="235"> </a>medical school. When we are through, we’ll + sew him all again and bring him back here, or + leave him almost any place where he can be + found easily. He will be just as good to bury + then as now, nobody hurt, and the cause of + science advanced. Observe, Darst, dead, + absolutely dead, yet with no rigor mortis. + Dead, and yet as if he slept. If need be, we + will pursue to the inmost recesses of his being + the secret of his demise.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton was nigh to falling to the + floor. The succession of hope and fear had + taken from him all resolution. Of what use + would it be to exhume Mr. Brockelsby after + the doctors had cut him up? The impulse to + rush in and confess had spent itself and he was + now cravenly drifting with the tide. All judgment, + all power of reflection had departed from + him. He was now only a pitiable wretch with + scarcely strength to stand by the door and + listen, unable to originate any thought, any + action.</p> + + <p>“How are you going to get him out of here?†+ asked Dr. Darst.</p> + + <p>“In a box. You don’t suppose I’d carry + him down and put him in a hack?â€</p> + + <p>“But suppose they get to looking for him? + <a class="pagenum" id="page236" title="236"> </a>It is known that he came here. A box goes + out of here to be taken to the medical school, + a long box that might hold a man. You and I + are the ones who hire the men who carry the + box.â€</p> + + <p>“Who said a long box that might hold a + man? It will be a short, rather tall box, packing-case + shape. Remember, he is as limber + as you are and can be accommodated to any + position. He will be put in it sitting bolt + upright. It will be only half the length of a + man, with nothing in its shape to suggest that + it might hold a man. Who said take it to the + medical school from here? I hire a drayman + to take a box to the Union Depot. He dumps + it there on the sidewalk near the places for + in-going and out-going baggage. Ostensibly + going to carry it as excess baggage. We fiddle + around until he goes, then call up some + other drayman in the crowd hanging about and + take a box just arrived from Milwaukee, St. + Paul, any place the drayman wants to think, + out to the college. As for the inquiry that + will be made concerning the whereabouts of + Brockelsby, rest easy on that point. He frequently + goes off on sprees of several days’ + duration and his absence from home is of such + <a class="pagenum" id="page237" title="237"> </a>common occurrence that his wife won’t begin + to hunt him up until we are through with him + and have got him back here, or have dumped + him in front of some building with his neck + broken, showing that he fell out of some story + above.â€</p> + + <p>All this Mr. Middleton heard as he leaned + against the door jamb, swallowing, swallowing, + with never a thing in his mouth since the + night before, yet swallowing. He heard Dr. + Darst go after a box. He heard men deposit + it in the corridor outside. He heard the two + doctors take it in when the men had gone. + He heard it go heavily out into the corridor + again after a long interval. He heard more + men come, come to carry it away, and he + pulled himself together with a supreme effort + and followed. He saw the box loaded on a + dray. With his eye constantly on it, he + threaded his way through the crowd on the + sidewalk, followed it on its way across the + river to the Union Depot. With never a hope + in his heart that anything could possibly occur + to save him from a final confession and its + consequences, humanlike postponing the evil + hour as long as he could.</p> + + <p>The box was dumped upon the sidewalk + <a class="pagenum" id="page238" title="238"> </a>before the depot. The two medical men stood + leaning upon it, waiting for the drayman to + depart. The evil moment had arrived. Once + away from the depot, in the less congested + streets in the direction of the medical college, + the dray would go too fast for him to follow. + He approached. He must speak now. No, + no. He need not follow the dray. That was + not necessary. He could get to the medical + school before they could have time to do + injury to Mr. Brockelsby. It would be safe to + let the box get out of his sight for that little + time. He would tell at the medical college.</p> + + <p>“Yes, as soon as we get him there,†said + Dr. McAllyn, “we’ll put him in the pickle.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton sprang forward and put an + appealing hand upon the shoulder of either + doctor. With a sudden start that caused him + to start in turn, each wheeled about. For a + moment, he could say nothing and stood with + palsied lips while they gave back his stare. + Gave back his stare? All at once his mouth + came open and these were the words he heard + issue forth:</p> + + <p>“Sirs, I arrest you for stealing the body of + Mr. Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby, attorney-at-law.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page239" title="239"> </a>He who had just now been an abject, grovelling + wretch, was of a sudden come to be a lord + among men. The practitioners making no + reply, he continued:</p> + + <p>“Are you going to be sensible enough to + make no trouble, or shall I have to call yonder + officer?â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton considered this quite a master + stroke. By the assumption of a pretended + authority over the neighboring policeman he + would forestall any possibility of resistance + and question as to what authority he represented. + But he need have had no fears on this + score. The doctors were too alarmed to do + otherwise than submit to his pleasure, too + thoroughly convinced that none but a detective + could have had knowledge of the contents + of the box. But Dr. McAllyn did attach a significance + to what Mr. Middleton had said, a significance + natural to one so well acquainted with + the devious ways of the great city as he was.</p> + + <p>“Well,†he said, with a sardonic smile, “you + needn’t call in help. We stand pat. How + much is it going to cost us?â€</p> + + <p>Then did Mr. Middleton perceive he was + delivered from a dilemma, a dilemma unforeseen, + but which even if foreseen, he could not + <a class="pagenum" id="page240" title="240"> </a>have forearmed against. After he had arrested + the doctors, how would he have disposed of + them and the box containing Mr. Brockelsby? + How could he have released the doctors and + carried off the box in a manner that would not + excite their suspicions? If he had, in pretended + leniency and soft-heartedness told them + they were free, the absence of any apparent + motive for this action would have instantly + caused them to suspect that for some unknown + and probably unrighteous reason, he desired + possession of the body of Mr. Brockelsby and + thus would ensue a series of complications + that would make the ruse of the arrest but a + leap from the frying pan into the fire. But + now Dr. McAllyn had supplied the motive.</p> + + <p>“Sirs,†said Mr. Middleton, with an air of + virtue that was well suited to the character of + the sentiments he now began to enunciate, + “you deserve punishment. You have been + taken in the act of committing a crime that is + particularly revolting,—stealing a corpse. Dr. + McAllyn, you have been apprehended in foul + treason against friendship. You have stolen + the body of a comrade. You have meditated + cruel and shocking mutilation of this body, + giving to the horror-stricken eyes of the frantic + <a class="pagenum" id="page241" title="241"> </a>widow the mangled and defaced flesh that was + once the goodly person of her husband, leaving + her to waste her life in vain and terrible + speculations as to where and how he encountered + this awful death with its so dreadful + wounds.â€</p> + + <p>“It was for the sake of science,†interpolated + Dr. McAllyn, in no little indignation. + “If from the insensible clay of the dead we + may learn that which will save suffering and + prolong existence for the living, well may we + disregard the ancient and ridiculous sentiment + regarding corpses, a relic of the ancient heathen + days when it was believed that this selfsame + body of this life was worn again in another + world.â€</p> + + <p>“I will not engage in an antiquarian discussion + with you, sir, as to the origin of this sentiment. + Suffice to say it exists and is one of + the most powerful sentiments that rules mankind. + You have attempted to violate it, to + outrage it. However you may look upon your + action, the penitentiary awaits you. Yet one + can well hesitate to pronounce the word that + condemns a fellow man to that living death. + It is not the mere punishment itself. The + dragging years will pass, but what will you be + <a class="pagenum" id="page242" title="242"> </a>when they have passed? We no longer brand + the persons of convicts, but none the less does + the iron sear their souls and none the less does + the world see with its mind’s eye the scorched + word ‘convict’ on their brows, so long as they + live. In the capacity of judge, were I one, I + might use such limit of discretion as the law + allows in making your punishment lighter or + heavier, but the disgrace of it, no one can + mitigate. Therefore, that you may receive + some measure of the punishment you deserve, + and yet not be blasted for life, I will accept a + monetary consideration and set you free.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, you will, will you?†said Dr. McAllyn. + “How much lighter or heavier will you in your + capacity as judge make this impost?â€</p> + + <p>“I will not take my time in replying to your + slurs in kind. You, Dr. McAllyn, as the one + primarily responsible, as the leader who induced + Dr. Darst to enter this conspiracy, as + the one most to be reproached, in that Mr. + Brockelsby was your friend, as the one by far + the most able to pay, you shall pay $1,200. + Dr. Darst shall pay $200. This is a punishment + by no means commensurate with your + crime. By this forfeit, shall you escape prison + and disgrace.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page243" title="243"> </a>“Of course you know that I have no such + sum as that about me,†said Dr. McAllyn. “I + will write you a check.â€</p> + + <p>“I am not so green as I look,†said Mr. + Middleton, assuming an easy sitting posture + upon the box containing the mortal envelope + of Mr. Brockelsby. “You may dispatch Dr. + Darst with a check to get the money for you + and himself. You will remain here as a hostage + until his return.â€</p> + + <p>Accordingly, Dr. Darst departed and Mr. + Middleton sat engrossed in reflection upon the + chain of unpleasant circumstances that had + forced upon him the unavoidable and distasteful + rôle of a bribe-taker. Yet how else could + he have carried off the part he had assumed? + How else could he have obtained custody of + Mr. Brockelsby? And surely the doctors + richly deserved punishment. It was not meet + that they should go scot free and in no other + way could he bring it about that retribution + should be visited upon them.</p> + + <p>“It is all here,†said Mr. Middleton, + when he had counted the bills brought by Dr. + Darst. “I shall now see that Mr. Brockelsby + is taken back to the office whence you took + him.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page244" title="244"> </a>“Pardon me,†said Dr. Darst, “how in the + world did you know we took him from his + office? How did you ferret it all out?â€</p> + + <p>“I cannot tell you that,†said Mr. Middleton. + “I shall take him back to the office. + He will be found there later in the day, just as + you found him. You are wise enough to make + no inquiries concerning him, to watch for no + news of developments. Indeed, to make in + some measure an alibi, should it be needed, + you had better leave town by next train for the + rest of the day. If it were known you were + with Mr. Brockelsby at any time, might it not + be thought that you were responsible for the + condition he was found in?â€</p> + + <p>The doctors boarded the very next train, and + Mr. Middleton, serene in the knowledge that + no one would disturb him now, had the box + taken back and set up in the main office. A + slight thump in the box as it was ended up + against the wall, caused Mr. Middleton to + believe that Mr. Brockelsby was now resting + on his head, but he resolved to allow this unavoidable + circumstance to occasion him no disquiet. + Going to a large department store + where a sale of portières was in progress, he + purchased some portières and a number of + <a class="pagenum" id="page245" title="245"> </a>other things. The portières he draped over + the box, concealing its bare pine with shimmering + cardinal velvet and turning it into the + semblance of a cabinet. Lest any inquisitive + hand tear it away, he placed six volumes of + Chitty and a bust of Daniel Webster upon the + top and tacked two photographs of Mr. + Brockelsby upon the front. Confident that no + one would disturb the receptacle containing + his employer, he went into court and after a + short but exceedingly spirited legal battle in + which he displayed a forensic ability, a legal + lore, and a polished eloquence which few of + the older members of the Chicago bar could + have equalled, he won a signal victory.</p> + + <p>Although it was not his intention to set + about restoring Mr. Brockelsby until an hour + that would ensure him against likelihood of + interruption, he returned to the office to see if + by any untoward mischance anybody could + have interfered with the box. To his surprise, + he found Mrs. Brockelsby seated before that + object of vertu with her eye straying abstractedly + over the cardinal portières, the photographs + of Mr. Brockelsby, the bust of Daniel + Webster, and the volumes of Chitty.</p> + + <p>“Oh, Mr. Middleton,†exclaimed the lady. + <a class="pagenum" id="page246" title="246"> </a>“Mr. Brockelsby did not come home to-day + and they tell me he wasn’t in court.â€</p> + + <p>“No, he was not in court,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Oh, where, oh, where can he be!†moaned + Mrs. Brockelsby.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton being of the opinion that this + question was merely exclamatory, ejaculatory + in its nature, of the kind orators employ to + garnish and embellish their discourse and + which all books of rhetoric state do not expect + or require an answer, accordingly made no + answer. He was, nevertheless, somewhat disturbed + by the poor lady’s grief and wished that + it were possible to restore her husband to her + instantly.</p> + + <p>“Oh, I have wanted to see him so, I have + wanted him so! Oh, where can he be, Mr. + Middleton! I must find him. I cannot + endure it longer. I will offer a reward to anyone + who will bring him home within twenty-four + hours, to anyone who will find him. Oh, + oh, oh, oh! I will give $200. I will give it to + you, yourself, if you will find him. Write a + notice to that effect and take it to the newspaper + offices.â€</p> + + <p>This great distress on the part of the lady + <a class="pagenum" id="page247" title="247"> </a>was all contrary to what Dr. McAllyn had said + concerning her indifference to the absence of + her spouse and caused Mr. Middleton to feel + very much like a guilty wretch. As he wrote + out the notices for the papers, he reiterated + assurances that Mr. Brockelsby would turn up + before morning, while the partner of the missing + barrister continued her heartbroken wailing + and the cause of it all was driven well-nigh wild.</p> + + <p>“Oh, if you only knew!†she said, as Mr. + Middleton was about to depart for the newspaper + offices. “Day after to-morrow, I am + going to Washington to attend a meeting of + the Federation of Woman’s Clubs. That + odious Mrs. LeBaron is going to spring a + diamond necklace worth two thousand dollars + more than mine. Augustus must come home + in time to sign a check so I can put three thousand + dollars more into mine.â€</p> + + <p>A great load soared from Mr. Middleton’s + mind and blithe joy reigned there instead.</p> + + <p>“Mrs. Brockelsby, I’ll leave no stone unturned. + I’ll bring you your husband before + breakfast,†and escorting the lady to her carriage + and handing her in with the greatest + deference and most courtly gallantry, he set + forth for one of the more famous of the large + <a class="pagenum" id="page248" title="248"> </a>restaurants which are household words among + the elite of Chicago. Mr. Middleton had + never passed its portals, but with fourteen + hundred dollars in his pocket and two hundred + more in sight, he felt he could afford to give + himself a good meal and break the fast he had + kept since the evening before, for in the + crowded events of the day, he had found time + to refresh himself with nothing more substantial + than an apple and a bag of peanuts, or + fruit of the Arachis hypogea.</p> + + <p>As he sat down at a table in the glittering + salle-à -manger, what was his great surprise and + even greater delight, to see seated opposite, + just slowly finishing his dessert—a small bowl + of sherbet—habited in a perfectly-fitting frock + coat with a red carnation in the lapel, the + urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe of + Al-Yam. Having exchanged mutual expressions + of pleasure at this unexpected encounter, + Mr. Middleton, overjoyed and elated at the + successes of the day, began to pour into the + ears of the prince a relation of the events that + had resulted from the gift of the treatise of the + learned hakim of Madras, which is in India. + He told everything from the beginning to + the end.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page249" title="249"> </a>“In the morning,†he said in conclusion, “I + take Mr. Brockelsby home in a cab and get + the two hundred dollars.â€</p> + + <p>“Alas, alas!†said Achmed mournfully, his + great liquid brown eyes resting sorrowfully + upon Mr. Middleton. “What a corrupting + effect the haste to get rich has upon American + youth. My friend, it cannot be that you intend + to take the two hundred dollars?â€</p> + + <p>“But I find old Brock, don’t I?’</p> + + <p>“That is precisely what you do not do. You + know where he is. You put him there. How + can you say you found him?â€</p> + + <p>“All right, I won’t do it,†said Mr. Middleton, + abashed at Achmed’s reproof, a reproof + his conscience told him was eminently deserved.</p> + + <p>“I thank Allah,†said the prince, “that I + am an Arab and not an American. The fortunes + of my line, its glories, were not won in + the vulgar pursuits of trade, in the chicanery + of business, in the shady paths of speculation, + in the questionable manipulation of stocks and + bonds. It was not thus that the ancient houses + of the nobility of Europe and the Orient built + up their honorable fortunes. Never did the + men of my house parley with their consciences, + <a class="pagenum" id="page250" title="250"> </a>never did they strike a truce with their knightly + instincts in order to gain gold. Ah, no, no,†+ mused the prince, looking pensively up at the + gaily decorated ceiling as he reflected upon the + glories of his line; “it was in the noble profession + of arms, the illustrious practice of warfare + that we won our honorable possessions. At + the sacking of Medina, the third prince of our + house gained a goodly treasure of gold and + precious stones, and founded our fortune. In + warfare with the Wahabees, we acquired countless + herds and the territories for them to roam + upon. By descents across the Red Sea into + the realms of the Abyssinians, we took hundreds + of slaves. From the Dey of Aden we + acquired one hundred thousand sequins as the + price of peace. In the sacking of the cities of + Hedjaz and Yemen and even the dominions of + Oman, did we gallantly gain in the perilous + and honorable pursuit of war further store of + treasure. Ah, those were brave days, those + days of old, those knightly days of old! + Faugh, I am out of tune with this vile commercial + country and this vile commercial + age.â€</p> + + <p>The prince arose as he uttered these last + words and in his rhapsody forgetting the presence + <a class="pagenum" id="page251" title="251"> </a>of Mr. Middleton, without a farewell he + stalked through the great apartment, absentmindedly, + though gracefully twirling a pair of + pearl gray gloves in the long sensitive fingers + of his left hand. A little hush fell upon the + brilliant assemblage and many a bright eye + dwelt admiringly upon the elegant person, so + elegantly attired, of the urbane and accomplished + prince of the tribe of Al-Yam.</p> + + <p>For some time Mr. Middleton sat plunged + in abstraction, toying with the three kinds of + dessert he had ordered, as he meditated upon + the words of the emir. At last rousing himself, + he had finished the marrons glacées and + was about to begin upon a Nesselrode pudding, + when he heard himself addressed, and looking + up saw before him a young woman of an exceedingly + prepossessing appearance. She was + richly dressed with a quiet elegance that bespoke + her a person of good taste. Laughing, + roguish eyes illuminated a piquant face in + which were to be seen good sense, ingenuousness + and kindness, mingled with self-reliance + and determination. Mr. Middleton knew not + whether to admire her most for the beautiful + proportions of her figure, the loveliness of her + face, or the fine mental qualities of which her + <a class="pagenum" id="page252" title="252"> </a>countenance gave evidence. With a delightful + frankness in which there was no hint of real + or pretended embarrassment, she said:</p> + + <p>“Pray pardon this intrusion on the part of a + total stranger. I have particular reasons for + desiring to know the name and station of the + gentleman who left you a short time ago, and + knowing no one else to ask, have resolved to + throw myself upon your good nature. I will + ask of you not to require the reasons of me, + assuring you that they are perhaps not entirely + unconnected with the welfare of this gentleman. + I observed from your manner toward + one another that you were acquaintances and + that it was no chance conversation between + strangers. He is, I take it, an Italian.â€</p> + + <p>Without pausing to reflect that the emir + might not be at all pleased to have this young + woman know of his identity, Mr. Middleton + exclaimed hastily and with a gesture of expostulation:</p> + + <p>“Oh, no! He is not a Dago,†and then after + a pause he remarked impressively, “He is an + Arab,†and then after a still longer pause, he + said still more impressively, “He is the Emir + Achmed Ben Daoud, hereditary prince of the + tribe of Al-Yam, which ranges on the borders + <a class="pagenum" id="page253" title="253"> </a>of that fertile and smiling region of Arabia + known as Yemen, or Arabia the Happy.â€</p> + + <p>“He is not a Dago!†said the young woman, + clasping her hands with delighted fervor.</p> + + <p>“He is not a Dago!†said another voice, and + Mr. Middleton became aware that at his back + stood a second young woman scarcely less + charming than the first. “He is not a Dago!†+ she repeated, scarcely less delighted than the + first.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton arose and assumed an attitude + which was at once indicative of proper + deference toward his fair questioners and + enabled him the better to feast his entranced + eyes upon them. Moreover, on all sides he + observed that people were looking at them and + he needed no one to tell him that his conversation + with these two daughters of the aristocracy + was causing the assemblage to regard him as + an individual of social importance. He gave + the emir’s address upon Clark Street and after + dwelling some time upon his graces of person + and mind, related how it was that this Eastern + potentate was resident in the city of Chicago + in a comparatively humble capacity.</p> + + <p>“His brother is shut up in a vermillion + tower.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page254" title="254"> </a>“Vermillion, did you say?†breathlessly + asked the first young lady.</p> + + <p>“Oh, how romantic!†exclaimed the second + young lady. “A tower of vermillion! Is he + good looking, like this one? Do you suppose + he will come here? Oh, Mildred, I must meet + him. And the imam of Oman is going to give + the vermillion tower to the brother, when he + is released. We could send one of papa’s + whalebacks after it. What a lovely house on + Prairie Avenue it would make. ‘The Towers,’ + we would call it. No, ‘Vermillion Towers.’ + How lovely it would sound on a card, ‘Wednesdays, + Vermillion Towers.’ We must get him + out. Can’t we do it?â€</p> + + <p>“If it were in this country,†said Mr. Middleton, + “I would engage to get him out. I + would secure a writ of habeas corpus, or devise + other means to speedily release him. But + unfortunately, I am not admitted to practice + in the dominions of Oman. But I do not pity + the young man. One could well be willing to + suffer incarceration in a tower of vermillion, if + he knew he were an object of solicitude to one + so fair as yourself. One could wear the gyves + and shackles of the most terrible tyranny + almost in happiness, if he knew that such + <a class="pagenum" id="page255" title="255"> </a>lovely eyes grew moist over his fate and such + beauteous lips trembled when they told the + tale of his imprisonment.â€</p> + + <p>Now such gallant speeches were all very well + in the days of knee-breeches and periwigs, but + in this age and in Chicago, they are an + anachronism and the two young ladies started + as if they had suddenly observed that Mr. + Middleton had on a low-cut vest, or his trousers + were two years behind the times, and somewhat + curtly and coolly making their adieus, + they sailed rapidly away, leaving Mr. Middleton—who + was not the most obtuse mortal in + the world—to savagely fill with large pieces of + banana pie the orifice whence had lately issued + the words which had cut short his colloquy + with the two beauties. He deeply regretted + that in his association with Prince Achmed he + had fallen into a flowery and Oriental manner + of speech and resolved henceforth to eschew + such fashion of discourse.</p> + + <p>The clocks were solemnly tolling the hour of + midnight when Mr. Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby + rubbed his eyes and sat up in the revolving + chair in the main office of his suite. Mr. Middleton + was standing near, hastily putting away a razor. + A warm odor lay on the still air of the room.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page256" title="256"> </a>“Hello, isn’t it daylight yet?†asked Mr. + Brockelsby. The hot cakes that had but lately + been applied to his shaven crown, seemed to + have dispelled the fogs of intoxication and he + was master of himself.</p> + + <p>“It is twelve o’clock,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Twelve! Why, it was three when I left the + banquet table. Twelve!â€</p> + + <p>“Twelve,†said Mr. Middleton, pointing + gravely to the clock on the desk.</p> + + <p>“It—is—twelve. Don’t tell me it is the day + after.â€</p> + + <p>“I am compelled to do so. You were at the + banquet of the Sons of Andrew Jackson’s + Wars, twenty-four hours ago.â€</p> + + <p>“Great Scott!†exclaimed Mr. Brockelsby, + thrusting his hands through his hair, or rather + making the motion of doing so. “Great + Scott!†he repeated, “I am bald-headed. + What the devil have I been into? Where the + devil have I been?â€</p> + + <p>“I found you here this morning. Your wife + has been here.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh, lord! Oh, lord! What did she say + when she saw me dead to the world—and bald-headed?â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page257" title="257"> </a>“She did not see you. I had concealed you.â€</p> + + <p>“Good boy, good boy.â€</p> + + <p>“She offered me two hundred dollars reward + to bring you home,†and Mr. Middleton related + all that Mrs. Brockelsby had said.</p> + + <p>“It would be all off when she saw me bald-headed. + What the devil wouldn’t she suspect? + I don’t know. I would say I didn’t know where + I had been. That would certainly sound + fishy. It would sound like a preposterous + excuse to cover up something pretty questionable. + People don’t go out in good society + and get their heads shaved. She’s pretty independent + and uppish now. She said the next + time she knew of me cutting up any didoes, + she would get a divorce. She comes into two + hundred thousand from her grandfather’s estate + in six months and she’s pretty independent. + Say, my boy, can’t you take a check for the + money she wants? She’s going to Washington + to-morrow. Tell her I went out of town and + sent the money. I <em>will</em> go out of town. But + the boys will see my bald head. Where do + you suppose I was? What sort of crowd was I + with? I must have a wig. You must get it + for me. The boys would josh me to death, + and if the story got to my wife it would be all + <a class="pagenum" id="page258" title="258"> </a>off. I’ll go to Battle Creek and get a new lot + of hair started.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton sat down and wrote busily for + a moment. He handed a sheet of paper to + Mr. Brockelsby.</p> + + <p>“What’s this? You resign? You’re not + going to help me out?â€</p> + + <p>“I am no longer in your employ. I will + undertake to do all you ask of me for a proper + compensation, say one hundred and fifty a day + for two days.â€</p> + + <p>“What?†screamed Mr. Brockelsby. “This + is robbery, extortion, blackmail.â€</p> + + <p>“It is what you often charge yourself. Very + well. Get your own wig and be seen on the + streets going after it. Leave your wife to + wonder why I do not come to report what + progress is made in the search for you and to + start a rigorous investigation herself. I am + under no obligations not to ease her worry, to + calm her disturbed mind by telling her I have + found you. She’ll be hot foot after you then.â€</p> + + <p>“She’d spot the wig at once. It would fool + others, but not her. She’d see I had been + jagged. You’ve got me foul. I’ll have to + accede to your terms. You’ll not give me + away?â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page259" title="259"> </a>“Sir, I would not, in this, my first employment + as an independent attorney, be so derelict + to professional honor, as to betray the secrets + of my client. We have chosen to call this + three hundred dollars—a check for which you + will give me in advance—payment for the services + I am about to perform. In reality, I consider + it only part of what you owe for the + miserably underpaid services of the past three + years.â€</p> + + <p>As Mr. Middleton wended his way homeward, + it was with some melancholy that he + recalled how, on previous occasions when good + fortune had added to his stock of wealth, he + had rejoiced in it because he saw his dreams of + marriage with the young lady of Englewood + approaching realization more and more. But + now they had drifted apart. Not once had he + seen her since that fatal night. On several + evenings he had made the journey to Englewood + and walked up and down before her + house, but not so much as her shadow on the + curtain had he seen. Let her make the first + move toward a reconciliation. If she expected + him to do so after her treatment of him, she + was sadly mistaken.</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_14" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page260" title="260"> </a>The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Being</span> curious to hear of the young + ladies who had inquired concerning + the emir in the restaurant, and to + learn what their connection with that + prince might be, Mr. Middleton repaired to + the bazaar on Clark Street on the succeeding + night. But the emir was not in. Mesrour + apparently having experienced one of those + curious mental lesions not unknown in the + annals of medicine, where a linguist loses all + memory of one or more of the languages he + speaks, while retaining full command of the + others—Mesrour having experienced such a + lesion, which had, at least temporarily, deprived + him of his command of the English + language, Mr. Middleton was unable to learn + anything that he desired to know, until bethinking + himself of the fact that alcohol + loosens the thought centers and that by its + agency Mesrour’s atrophied brain cells might + be stimulated, revivified, and the coma dispelled, + he made certain signs intelligible to all + <a class="pagenum" id="page261" title="261"> </a>races of men in every part of the world and + took the blackamore into a neighboring saloon, + where, after regaling him with several beers, + he learned that only an hour before an elegant + turnout containing two young women, beautiful + as houris, had called for the emir and taken + him away.</p> + + <p>“He done tole me that if I tole anybody + whar he was gwine, he’d bowstring me and + feed mah flesh to the dawgs.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton shuddered as he heard this + threat, so characteristically Oriental.</p> + + <p>“Where <em>was</em> he going?†he inquired with an + air of profound indifference and irrelevance, + signalling for another bottle of beer.</p> + + <p>The blackamore silently drank the beer, a + gin fizz, and two Scotch high-balls, his countenance + the while bearing evidence that he was + struggling with a recalcitrant memory.</p> + + <p>“’Deed, I doan’ know, suh,†said Mesrour + finally. “He never done tole me.â€</p> + + <p>Though Mr. Middleton called three times + during the next week, he did not find the emir + in. Nor could Mesrour give any information + concerning his master’s whereabouts. However, + in the society news of the Sunday papers, + appeared at the head of several lists of persons + <a class="pagenum" id="page262" title="262"> </a>attendant upon functions, one A. B. D. Alyam, + and this individual was included among those + at a small dinner given by Misses Mildred and + Gladys Decatur. As Mildred was the name of + one of the young ladies who had accosted him + in the restaurant, Mr. Middleton felt quite certain + that this A. B. D. Alyam was none other + than Achmed Ben Daoud, emir of the tribe of + Al-Yam.</p> + + <p>On the tenth day, Mesrour informed Mr. + Middleton that the emir had left word to + make an appointment with him for seven + o’clock on the following evening, at which + time Mr. Middleton came, to find the accomplished + prince sitting at a small desk made in + Grand Rapids, Michigan, engaged in the composition + of a note which he was inscribing upon + delicate blue stationery with a gold mounted + fountain pen. Arising somewhat abruptly and + offering his hand at an elevation in continuity + of the extension of his shoulder, the emir + begged the indulgence of a few moments and + resumed his writing. He was arrayed in a + black frock coat and gray trousers and encircling + his brow was a moist red line that told + of a silk hat but lately doffed. “Give the gentleman + a cup of tea,†said he to Mesrour, looking + <a class="pagenum" id="page263" title="263"> </a>up from the note, which now completed, + he was perusing with an air that indicated + satisfaction with its chirography, orthography, + and literary style. At last, placing it in an + envelope and affixing thereto a seal, he turned + and ordering Mesrour to give Mr. Middleton + another cup of tea, he lighted a cigarette and + began as follows:</p> + + <p>“This is the last time you will see me here. + My lease expires to-morrow and my experience + as a retail merchant, in fact, as any sort of + merchant, is over. On this, the last evening + that we shall meet in the old familiar way, the + story I have to relate to your indulgent ears is + of some adventures of my own, adventures + which have had their final culmination in a + manner most delightful to me, and in which + consummation you have been an agent. Indeed, + but for your friendship I should not now + be the happy man I am. Without further consuming + time by a preamble which the progress + of the tale will render unnecessary, I will proceed.</p> + + <p>“Last summer, I spent a portion of the heated + term at Green Lake, Wisconsin. I know that + sentiment in this city is somewhat unequally + divided upon the question of the comparative + <a class="pagenum" id="page264" title="264"> </a>charms of Green Lake and Lake Geneva and + that the former resort has not acquired a vogue + equal to that of the latter, but I must say I + greatly prefer Green Lake. I have never been + at Lake Geneva, it is true, but nevertheless, I + prefer Green Lake.</p> + + <p>“The hotel where I stayed was very well + filled and the manager was enjoying a highly + prosperous season. Yet though there were so + many people there I made no acquaintances in + the first week of my sojourn. Nor in the + second week did I come to know more than + three or four, and they but slightly. I was, + in truth, treated somewhat as an object of + suspicion, the cause of which I could not at + first imagine. I was newer to this country and + its customs and costumes there a year ago. + Previous to starting for the lake, I had purchased + of a firm of clothiers farther up this + street, Poppenheimer and Pappenheimer, a full + outfit for all occasions and sports incident + upon a vacation at a fashionable resort. I had + not then learned that one can seldom make a + more fatal mistake than to allow a clothier or + tailor to choose for you. It is true that these + gentry have in stock what persons of refinement + demand, but they also have fabrics and + <a class="pagenum" id="page265" title="265"> </a>garments bizarre in color and cut, in which + they revel and carry for apparently no other + reason than the delectation of their own perverted + taste, since they seldom or never sell + them. But at times they light upon some one + whose ignorance or easy-going disposition + makes him a prey, and they send him forth an + example of what they call a well-dressed man. + More execrably dressed men than Poppenheimer + and Pappenheimer and most of the + other parties in the clothing business, are seldom + to be found in other walks of life. In my + ignorance of American customs, I entrusted + myself to their hands with the result that my + garments were exaggerated in pattern and + style and altogether unsuited to my dark complexion + and slim figure. But in the wearing of + these garments I aggravated the original sartorial + offence into a sartorial crime. With my + golf trousers and white ducks I wore a derby + hat. For nearly a week I wore with a shirt + waist a pair of very broad blue silk suspenders + embroidered in red. All at once I awoke to a + realization that the others did not wear their + clothes as I did and set myself to imitate them + with the result that my clothes were at least + worn correctly. The mischief was largely done, + <a class="pagenum" id="page266" title="266"> </a>however, before this reform, and nothing I + could do would alter the cut and fabric.</p> + + <p>“My clothes were not the only drawbacks to + my making acquaintances. I was entirely + debarred from a participation in the sports of + the place. I knew nothing of golf. A son of + the desert, I could no more swim than fly, and + so far from being able to sail a boat, I cannot + even manage a pair of oars. I could only + watch the others indulge in their divertissements, + a lonely and wistful outsider.</p> + + <p>“Yet despite all this, I could perceive that I + was not without interest to the young ladies. + Partially as an object of amusement at first, but + not entirely that, even at first, for the sympathetic + eyes of some of them betrayed a gentle + compassion.</p> + + <p>“Among the twenty or so young ladies at our + hotel, were two who would attract the attention + and excite the admiration of any assemblage, + two sisters from Chicago, beautiful as houris. + In face and figure I have never seen their + equal. Their cheeks were like the roses of + Shiraz, their teeth like the pearls of Ormuz, + their eyes like the eyes of gazelles of Hedjaz. + Before beholding these damosels, I had never + realized what love was, but at last I knew, I + <a class="pagenum" id="page267" title="267"> </a>fell violently in love with them both. Never + in my wildest moments had I thought to fall in + love with a daughter of the Franks. Nor had + I contemplated an extended stay in this land, + and before my departure from Arabia I had + begun to negotiate for the formation of a + harem to be in readiness against my return.</p> + + <p>“But I soon began to entertain all these + thoughts and to dally with the idea of changing + my religion, abhorrent as that idea was. At + first I had been comforted by the thought that + I was in love with both girls in orthodox Moslem + style. But reflecting that I could never + have both, that they would never come to me, + that I must go to them, becoming renegade to + my creed, I tried to decide which I loved best. + I came to a decision without any extended + thinking. I was in love with Miss Mildred, + the elder of the two sisters Decatur, daughters + of one of Chicago’s wealthy men, and this + question settled, there remained the stupendous + difficulty of winning her. For I did not + even possess the right to lift my hat to these + young ladies. My affair certainly appeared + quite hopeless.</p> + + <p>“In the last week of August, an Italian and + his wife encamped upon the south shore of the + <a class="pagenum" id="page268" title="268"> </a>lake with a small menagerie, if a camel, a bear, + and two monkeys can be dignified by so large + a title. He was accustomed to make the + rounds of the hotels and cottages on alternate + days, one day mounted on the dromedary and + strumming an Oriental lute, on the others + playing a Basque bagpipe while his bear + danced, or proceeding with hand-organ and + monkeys. He had been a soldier in the + Italian colony of Massowah on the Red Sea, + where he had acquired the dromedary—which + was the most gigantic one I have ever seen—and + a smattering of Arabic. English he had + none, his wife serving as his interpreter in that + tongue.</p> + + <p>“The sight of the camel was balm to my eyes. + Not only was it agreeable to me to see one of + that race of animals so characteristic of my + native land, but here at last was a form of + recreation opened to me. I hired the camel + on the days when the Italian was not using him + and went flying about all over the country. + Little did I suspect that I thereby became associated + with the Italian in the minds of the public + and that presently they began to believe + that I, too, was an Italian and the real owner + of the menagerie, employing Baldissano to + <a class="pagenum" id="page269" title="269"> </a>manage it for me while I lived at my ease at + the hotel. I was heard conversing with the + Italian, and of course nobody suspected that I + was talking to him in Arabic. It was a tongue + unknown to them all and they chose to consider + it Italian. Moreover, one Ashton Hanks, + a member of the Chicago board of trade, at the + hotel for the season, had said to the menagerie, + jerking his thumb interrogatively at me, as I + was busied in the background with the camel, + ‘Italiano? Italiano?’ To which Baldissano + replied, ‘Si, signor,’ meaning ‘yes,’ thinking + of course that Hanks meant him. ‘Boss? + Padrone?’ said Hanks again, and again the + answer was, ‘Si, signor.’</p> + + <p>“So here I was, made out to be an Italian and + the owner of a miserable little menagerie which + I employed a minion to direct, while myself + posing as a man of substance and elegant leisure. + Here I was, already proven a person of + atrocious taste in dress, clearly proclaimed of + no social standing, of unknown and suspicious + antecedents, a vulgarian pretender and interloper. + But of course I didn’t know this at the + time.</p> + + <p>“I was riding past the front of the hotel on + the camel one day at a little before the noon + <a class="pagenum" id="page270" title="270"> </a>hour, when I beheld her whom I loved overcome + by keen distress and as she was talking + rather loudly, I could not but be privy to what + she said.</p> + + <p>“‘Oh, dear,’ she exclaimed, clasping her + hands in great worriment, ‘what shall I do, + what shall I do! Here I am, invited to go on + a sail and fish-fry on Mr. Gannett’s yacht, and + I have no white yachting shoes to wear with + my white yachting dress. I’ve just got to wear + that dress, for I brought only two yachting + dresses and the blue one is at the laundry. + I thought I put a pair of white shoes in my + trunk, but I didn’t; I haven’t time to send to + Ripon for a pair. I won’t wear black shoes + with that dress. But how will I get white + ones?’</p> + + <p>“‘Through my agency,’ said I from where I + sat on the back of the camel.</p> + + <p>“‘Oh,’ said she, with a little start at my unexpected + intrusion, her face lighting with a + sudden hope, nevertheless. ‘Were you going + to Ripon and will you be back before one-thirty? + Are you perfectly willing to do this + errand for me?’</p> + + <p>“‘I am going to Ripon,’ I said, ‘and nothing + will please me more than to execute any + <a class="pagenum" id="page271" title="271"> </a>commission you may entrust to me. This + good steed will carry me the six miles and back + before it is time to sail. They seldom sail on + the time set, I have observed.’</p> + + <p>“She brought me a patent-leather dancing + shoe to indicate the desired size, and away I + went, secured the shoes, and turned homeward. + While skirting a large hill that arises athwart + the sky to the westward of the city of Ripon, + I was startled by a weird, portentous, moaning + cry from my mount. Ah, its import was only + too well known to me. Full many a time had + I heard it in the desert. It was the cry by + which the camels give warning of the coming + of a storm. While yet the eye and ear of + man can detect no signs whatever of the impending + outburst of nature’s forces and the + earth is bathed in the smiles of the sky, the + camels, by some subtle, unerring instinct, + prognosticate the storm.</p> + + <p>“I looked over the whole firmament. Not a + cloud in sight. A soft zephyr and a mellow + sun glowing genially through a slight autumnal + haze. Not a sign of a storm, but the camel + had spoken. I dismounted at once. I undid + the package of shoes. From my pocket I took + a small square bit of stone of the cubical contents + <a class="pagenum" id="page272" title="272"> </a>of a small pea. It was cut from the side + of the cave where Mohammed rested during + the Hegira, or flight of Mohammed, with which + date we begin our calendar. This bit of stone + was reputed to be an efficacious amulet against + dangers of storms, and also a charm against + suddenly falling in love. I placed it in the toe + of the right shoe. Unbeknownst to her, Mildred + would be protected against these dangers. + I could not hope to dissuade her from the + voyage by telling her of the camel’s forewarning. + Ashton Hanks was to be one of the + yachting party and he had shown evidences of + a tender regard for her. Retying the package, + it was not long before I had placed it in the + hands of Mildred. With a most winsome + smile she thanked me and ran in to don the + new purchases.</p> + + <p>“The boat set sail and I watched it glide + westward over the sparkling waves, toward the + lower end of the lake, watching for an hour + until it had slipped behind some point and was + lost to sight. Then I scanned the heavens to + see if the storm I knew must come would + break before it was time for the yachting + party to return. Low on the northern horizon + clouds were mustering, their heads barely discernible + <a class="pagenum" id="page273" title="273"> </a>above the rim of the world. But for + the camel’s warning I would not have seen + them. The storm was surely coming. By six + o’clock, or thereabouts, it would burst. The + party was to have its fish-fry at six, at some + point on the south shore. On the south shore + would be the wreck, if wreck there was to + be.</p> + + <p>“With no definite plan, no definite purpose, + save to be near my love in the threatening + peril, I set out for the south shore. By water, + it is from a mile and a half to three miles + across Green Lake. By land, it is many times + farther. From road to road of those parallel + with the major axis of the lake, it is four miles + at the narrowest, and it is three miles from the + end of the lake before you reach the first north + and south road connecting the parallels. Ten + miles, then, after you leave the end of the lake + on the side where the hotels are, before you are + at the end on the other side. And then thirteen + miles of shore.</p> + + <p>“So what with the distance and the time I had + spent watching the shallop that contained my + love pass from my field of vision the afternoon + had far waned when I had reached the opposite + shore, and when I had descended to the beach + <a class="pagenum" id="page274" title="274"> </a>at a point where I had thought I might command + the most extensive view and discover the + yacht, if it had begun to make its way homeward, + the light of day had given place to twilight. + But not the twilight of imminent night, + the twilight of the coming tempest. For the + brewing of a fearful storm had now some time + been apparent. A hush lay on the land. A + candle flame would have shot straight upward. + Nature waited, silently cowering.</p> + + <p>“To the northward advanced, in serried columns + of black, the beetling clouds that were + turning the day into night, the distant booming + of aërial artillery thundering forth the preluding + cannonade of the charge. Higher and + higher into the firmament shot the front of the + advancing ranks in twisting curls of inky + smoke, yet all the while the mass dropped + nearer and nearer to the earth and the light of + day departed, save where low down in the west + a band of pale gold lay against the horizon, + color and nothing more, as unglowing as a yellow + streak in a painted sunset. Against this + weird, cold light, I saw a naked mast, and then + a sail went creaking up and I heard voices. + They had been shortening sail. By some unspent + impulse of the vanished wind, or the + <a class="pagenum" id="page275" title="275"> </a>impact of the waves still rolling heavily and + glassily from a recent blow, the yacht was still + progressing and came moving past me fifty or + sixty feet from shore.</p> + + <p>“I heard the voices of women expressing terror, + begging the men to do something. Danger + that comes in the dark is far more fearsome + than danger which comes in the light. I heard + the men explaining the impossibility of getting + ashore. For two miles on this coast, a line of + low, but unscalable cliffs rose sheer from the + water’s edge, overhanging it, in fact, for the + waves had eaten several feet into the base of + the cliffs. To get out and stand in front of + these cliffs was to court death. The waves of + the coming storm would either beat a man to + death against the rocks, or drown him, for the + water was four feet deep at the edge of the + cliffs and the waves would wash over his head. + For two miles, I have said, there was a line of + cliffs on this coast, for two miles save just + where I stood, the only break, a narrow rift + which, coinciding with a section line, was the + end of a road coming down to the water. + They could not see this rift in the dusk, perhaps + were ignorant of its existence and so not + looking for it.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page276" title="276"> </a>“The voices I had heard were all unfamiliar + and it was not until the yacht had drifted past + me that I was apprised it was indeed the craft + I sought by hearing the voice of Mildred saying, + with an assumed jocularity that could not + hide the note of fear:</p> + + <p>“‘What will <em>I</em> do? All the other girls have a + man to save them. I am the extra girl.’</p> + + <p>“I drove my long-legged steed into the water + after the boat none too soon, for the whistling + of a premonitory gust filled the air. Quickly + through the water strode the camel, and, with + his lariat in my hand, I plumped down upon + the stern overhang just as the mainsail went + slatting back and forth across the boat and + everybody was ducking his head. In the confusion, + nobody observed my arrival.</p> + + <p>“‘She’s coming about,’ cried the voice of the + skipper, Gannett. ‘A few of these gusts + would get us far enough across to be out of + danger from the main storm.’</p> + + <p>“But she did not come about. I could feel + the camel tugging at the lariat as the swerving + of the boat jerked him along, but presently the + strain ceased, for the boat lay wallowing as + before. Again a fitful gust, again the slatting + of the sail, the skipper put his helm down + <a class="pagenum" id="page277" title="277"> </a>hard, the boat put her nose into the wind, hung + there, and fell back.</p> + + <p>“‘She won’t mind her helm!’</p> + + <p>“‘She won’t come about!’</p> + + <p>“‘She acts as if she were towing something, + were tied to something!’</p> + + <p>“‘What’s that big rock behind there? Who + the devil is this? And how the devil did he + get here?’</p> + + <p>“In the midst of these excited and alarmed + exclamations came the solemn, portentous + voice of the camel tolling out in the unnatural + night the tocsin of the approaching hurricane.</p> + + <p>“‘It’s the Dago!’ cried Gannett, examining + me by the fleeting flash of a match. ‘It’s his + damned camel towing behind that won’t let us + come about. Pitch him overboard!’</p> + + <p>“‘Oh, save me!’ appealed Mildred.</p> + + <p>“There she had been, sitting just in front of + me and I hadn’t known it was she. It was not + strange that she had faith that I who had + arrived could also depart.</p> + + <p>“‘Selim,’ I called, pulling the camel to the + boat. I had never had a name for him before, + but it was high time he had one, so now I + named him. ‘Selim,’ and there the faithful + beast was and with Mildred in my arms, I + <a class="pagenum" id="page278" title="278"> </a>scrambled on to his back and urged him toward + the rift in the wall of cliff.</p> + + <p>“As if I had spurned it with my foot, the + boat sprang away behind us, a sudden rushing + blast filling her sails and laying her almost + over, and then she was out of our sight, into + the teeth of the tempest, yelling, screaming, + howling with a hundred voices as it darted + from the sky and laid flat the waves and then + hurled them up in a mass of stinging spray.</p> + + <p>“In fond anticipation, I had dwelt upon the + homeward ride with Mildred. A-camelback, + I was, as it were, upon my native heath, master + of myself, assured, and at ease. I had + planned to tell her of my love, plead my cause + with Oriental fervor and imagery, but before + we reached shore the tempest was so loud that + she could not have heard me unless I had + shouted, and I had no mind to bawl my love. + Worse still, when once we were going across + the wind and later into it, I could not open my + mouth at all. We reached the hotel and on its + lee side I lifted her down to the topmost of the + piazza steps. I determined not be delayed + longer. If ever there was to be a propitious + occasion, it was now when I had rescued her + from encompassing peril. I retained hold of + <a class="pagenum" id="page279" title="279"> </a>her hand. She gave me a glance in which was + at least gratitude, and I dared hope, something + more, and I was about to make my declaration, + when she made a little step, her right foot + almost sunk under her and she gave an agonized + cry and hobbling, limping, hopping on one + foot, passed from me across the piazza to the + stairs leading to the second story, whither she + ascended upon her hands and knees.</p> + + <p>“That wretched stone from the cavern where + Mahommed slept in the Hegira! How many + times during the day had she wanted to take + her shoe off? She would ascertain the cause + of her torment, she would lay it to me. It had + indeed been an amulet against sudden love. I + was the man whose love it had forefended.</p> + + <p>“‘Gannett’s yacht went down and all aboard + of her were drowned,’ said one of the bellboys + to me. ‘Everybody in the hotel is feeling + dreadful.’</p> + + <p>“‘How do you know they are drowned?’</p> + + <p>“‘Everybody in the hotel says so. I don’t + know how they found out.’</p> + + <p>“‘What’s that at the pier?’ said I.</p> + + <p>“The lights at the end of the pier shone + against a white expanse of sail and there was a + yacht slowly making a landing.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page280" title="280"> </a>“Someone came and stood for a moment in + an open window above me and there floated + out the voice of one of the sisters Decatur, but + which one, I could not tell. Their voices were + much alike and I had not heard either of them + speak very often.</p> + + <p>“‘Do you think that one ought to marry a + person who rescues her from death, when he + happens to be a Dago and cheap circus man + into the bargain? I certainly do not.’</p> + + <p>“Which one was it? Which one was it? + Imagine my feelings, torn with doubt, perplexity, + and sorrow. Was it Mildred, replying + scornfully to some opinion of her sister, or was + it the sister taking Mildred to task for saying + she wished or ought to marry me? How was I + to know? Could I run the risk of asking the + girls themselves?</p> + + <p>The emir paused, and it was plain to be seen + from the workings of his countenance that once + more he was living over this unhappy episode.</p> + + <p>“I can well imagine your feelings and sympathize + with them,†said Mr. Middleton. + “There you sat in the encircling darkness, + asking yourself with no hope of an answer, + ‘Was it Mildred? Was it her sister? Was it + Mildred contemptuously repudiating the idea + <a class="pagenum" id="page281" title="281"> </a>of marriage with me, or the sister haughtily + scoffing at some sentiments just professed by + Mildred? But I should not have spent too + long a time asking how I was to know. I + should put the matter to the test and had it + out with Mildred, Miss Mildred, I should + say.â€</p> + + <p>The emir looked steadily at Mr. Middleton. + There was surprise, annoyance, perhaps even + vexation in his gaze. With incisive tones, he + said:</p> + + <p>“How could you so mistake me? Ours is a + line whose lineage goes back twelve hundred + years, a noble and unsullied line. Could I, sir, + think of making my wife, making a princess of + my race, a woman who could entertain the + thought of stooping to marry a Dago cheap + circus man? Suppose I had gone to Mildred + and had asked her if she had expressed herself of + such a demeaning declaration? Suppose she + had said, ‘Yes,’ then there I would have been, + compromised, caught in an entanglement from + which as a man of honor, I could not withdraw. + The only thing to do was to keep + silence. The risk was too great, I resolved to + leave on the morrow. For the first time did I + learn that I was believed to be a Dago and the + <a class="pagenum" id="page282" title="282"> </a>proprietor of the little menagerie. This + strengthened my resolve to leave.</p> + + <p>“I left. Your happy encounter with the + young ladies in the restaurant changed all. + They learned from you that I was their social + equal. They looked me up and apologized for + their apparent lack of appreciation of my services + and explained that they thought me a + Dago circus man. I learned that neither of + them believed in a mesalliance, that the question + I had heard was a rhetorical question + merely, one not expecting an answer, much + used by orators to express a strong negation of + the sentiments apparently contained in the + question. But I have not yet learned which + girl it was who asked the question. It is + entirely immaterial and I don’t think I shall + try to find out, even after I am married, for of + course you have surmised I am to be married, + to be married to Mildred.â€</p> + + <p>“Yes, another American heiress marries + a foreign nobleman,†said Mr. Middleton, + with a bitterness that did not escape the + emir.</p> + + <p>“Permit me to correct a popular fallacy,†+ said the emir. “Nothing could be more erroneous + than the prevalent idea that American + <a class="pagenum" id="page283" title="283"> </a>girls marry foreign noblemen because attracted + by the glitter of rank, holding their own plain + republican citizens in despite. Sir, it takes a + title to make a foreigner equal to American + men in the eyes of American women. A British + knight may compete with the American + mister, but when you cross the channel, nothing + less than a count will do in a Frenchman, + a baron in the line of a German, while, for a + Russian to receive any consideration, he must + be a prince.</p> + + <p>“And now,†said the emir, “my little establishment + here being about to be broken up, I + am going to ask you to accept certain of my + effects which for sundry reasons I cannot take + with me to my new abode. My jewels, hangings, + and costumes, my wife will like, of + course. But as she is opposed to smoking, + there are six narghilehs and four chibouques + which I will never use again. As I am about + to unite with the Presbyterian church this coming + Sunday, it might cause my wife some disquietude + and fear of backsliding, were I to + retain possession of my eight copies of the + Koran. She may be wise there,†said the emir + with a sigh. “If perchance you should embrace + the true faith and thereby make compensation + <a class="pagenum" id="page284" title="284"> </a>for the loss of a member occasioned by + my withdrawal——â€</p> + + <p>“That would not even matters up,†interrupted + Mr. Middleton, “for I am not a Presbyterian, + but a Methodist.â€</p> + + <p>“Oh,†said the emir. “Well, there are five + small whips of rhinoceros hide and two gags. + My wife will not wish me to keep those, nor a + crystal casket containing twenty-seven varieties + of poisons. Then there are other things that + you might have use for and I have not. I + have sent for a cab and Mesrour will stow the + things in it.â€</p> + + <p>At that moment the cab was heard without + and Mesrour began to load it with the gifts of + the emir. At length he ceased his carrying + and stood looking expectantly. With an air of + embarrassment, and clearing his throat hesitatingly, + the emir addressed Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“There is one last thing I am going to ask + you to take. I cannot call it a gift. I can + look upon your acceptance of it in no other + light than a very great service. Some time + ago, when marriage in this country was something + too remote to be even dreamed of, I sent + home for an odalisque.â€</p> + + <p>The emir paused and looked obliquely at + <a class="pagenum" id="page285" title="285"> </a>Mr. Middleton, as if to observe the effect of + this announcement. That excellent young + man had not the faintest idea what an odalisque + might be, but he had ever made it a point when + strange and unknown terms came up, to wait + for subsequent conversation to enlighten him + directly or by inference as to their meaning. + In this way he saved the trouble of asking + questions and, avoiding the reputation of being + inquisitive and curious, gained that of being + well informed upon and conversant with a wide + range of subjects. So he looked understandingly + at the emir and remarking approvingly, + “good eye,†the emir continued, much encouraged.</p> + + <p>“To a lonely man such as I then was, the + thought of having an odalisque about, was very + comforting. Lonely as I then was, an odalisque + would have afforded a great deal of + company.â€</p> + + <p>“That’s right,†said Mr. Middleton. “Why, + even cats are company. The summer I was + eighteen, everybody in our family went out to + my grandfather’s in Massachusetts, and I + stayed home and took care of the house. I + tell you, I’d been pretty lonely if it hadn’t + been for our two cats.â€</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page286" title="286"> </a>“But now I am going to be married and my + wife would not think of tolerating an odalisque + about the house. She simply would not have + it. The odalisque arrived last night, and I am + in a great quandary. I could not think of + turning the poor creature out perhaps to + starve.â€</p> + + <p>“That’s right,†said Mr. Middleton. “Some + persons desiring to dispose of a cat, will carry + it off somewhere and drop it, thinking that + more humane than drowning it. But I say, + always drown a cat, if you wish to get rid of it.â€</p> + + <p>“Now I have thought that you, being without + a wife to object, might take this burden off + my hands. I will hand you a sum sufficient + for maintenance during a considerable period + and doubtless you can, as time goes on, find + someone else who wants an odalisque, or discover + some other way of disposal, in case you + tire——â€</p> + + <p>“Send her along,†said Mr. Middleton, + cordially and heartily. “If worst comes to + worst, there’s an old fellow I know who sells + parrots and cockatoos and marmosets, and perhaps + he’d like an odalisque.â€</p> + + <p>“I will send her,†said the emir.</p> + + <p>“So it’s a she,†quoth Mr. Middleton to himself. + <a class="pagenum" id="page287" title="287"> </a>He had used the feminine in the broad + way that it is applied indefinitely to ships, + railways trains, political parties etc., etc., with + no thought of fitting a fact.</p> + + <p>“I will give you fifteen hundred dollars for + her maintenance. Having brought her so far, + I feel a responsibility——â€</p> + + <p>“But that is such a large sum. I really + wouldn’t need so much——â€</p> + + <p>“That is none too large,†rejoined the emir. + “I wish her to be treated well and I believe + you will do it. At first, she will not understand + anything you say to her, of course, but + she will soon learn what you mean. The tone, + as much as the words, enlightens, and I think + you will have very little trouble in managing + her.â€</p> + + <p>“Is there a cage?†hazarded Mr. Middleton, + “or won’t I need one?â€</p> + + <p>“Lock her in a room, if you are afraid she + will run away, though such a fear is groundless. + Or if you wish to punish her, the rhinoceros + whips would do better than a cage. A cage is + so large and I could never see any advantage + in it. But you will probably never have occasion + to use even a whip. You will have but + this one odalisque. Had you two or three, + <a class="pagenum" id="page288" title="288"> </a>they might get to quarreling among themselves + and you might have use for a whip. But toward + you, she will be all gentleness, all submission.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton and the emir then turned to + the counting and accounting of the fifteen hundred + dollars, and so occupied, the lawyer + missed seeing Mesrour pass with the odalisque + and did not know she had been put in the hack + until the emir had so apprised him.</p> + + <p>“She is in a big coffee sack,†said the emir. + “The meshes of the fabric are sufficiently open + to afford her ample facility for breathing, and + yet she can’t get out. Then, too, it will simplify + matters when you get to your lodgings. + You will not have to lead her and urge her, + frightened and bewildered by so much moving + about, but pack her upon your back in the bag + and carry her to your room with little trouble.</p> + + <p>“And now,†continued the emir, grasping + Mr. Middleton’s hands warmly, “for the last + time do I give you God-speed from this door. + I will not disguise my belief that our intimacy + has in a measure come to an end. As a married + man, I shall not be so free as I have been. + I am no longer in need of seeking out knowledge + of strange adventures. The tyrannical + imam of Oman, who imprisoned my brother, is + <a class="pagenum" id="page289" title="289"> </a>dead, and his successor, commiserating the + poor youth’s sorrows, has not only liberated + him, but given him the vermillion edifice of his + incarceration. This my brother intends to + transmute into gold, for he has hit upon the + happy expedient of grinding it up into a face + powder, a rouge, beautiful in tint and harmless + in composition, for the rock was quarried in + one of the most salubrious locations upon the + upper waters of the great river Euphrates. I + trust I shall sometimes see you at our place, + where I am sure I shall be joined in welcoming + you by Mrs.—Mrs.—well, to tell the truth,†+ said the emir in some slight confusion, “I + don’t know what her name will be, for it is + obviously out of the question to call her Mrs. + Achmed Ben Daoud, and she objects to the + tribal designation of Alyam, which I had temporarily + adopted for convenience’s sake, as + ineuphonious.â€</p> + + <p>“Sir, friend and benefactor, guiding lamp + of my life, instructor of my youth and moral + exemplar,†said Mr. Middleton, in the emotion + of the moment allowing his speech an + Oriental warmth which the cold self-consciousness + of the Puritan would have forbade, had he + been addressing a fellow American, “I cannot + <a class="pagenum" id="page290" title="290"> </a>tell you the advantages that have flowed from + my acquaintance with you. It was indeed the + turning point of my life. The pleasure I will + leave untouched upon, as I must alike on the + present occasion, the profits. Let me briefly + state that they foot up to $3760. A full + accounting of how they accrued, would consume + the rest of the night, and so it must be + good-bye.â€</p> + + <p>As Mr. Middleton looked back for the last + time upon that hospitable doorway, he saw the + gigantic figure of Mesrour silhouetted against + the dim glow beyond and there solemnly + boomed on the night air, the Arabic salutation, + “Salaam aleikoom.â€</p> +</div> +<div id="chapter_15" class="chapter"> + <h2><a class="pagenum" id="page291" title="291"> </a>What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of the Emir.</h2> + + <p class="first_paragraph"><span class="first_word">Getting</span> into the hack and settling into + the sole remaining vacant space Mesrour + had left in loading the vehicle + with the emir’s gifts, Mr. Middleton + was so preoccupied by a gloomy dejection as + he reflected that a most agreeable, not to say + inspiring and educating, intimacy was at last + ended, that he reached his lodgings and had + begun to unload his new possessions, before he + thought of the odalisque. There lay the coffee + sack lengthwise on the front seat and partially + reclining against the side of the carriage. He + was greatly surprised at the size of the unknown + creature and began to surmise that it + was an anthropoid ape, though before his speculations + had ranged from parrots through dogs + to domesticated leopards. Leaving the coffee + sack until the last, he gingerly seized the slack + of the top of the bag and proceeded to pull it + upon his shoulders, taking care to avoid holding + the creature where it could kick or struggle + <a class="pagenum" id="page292" title="292"> </a>effectually, for despite all the emir had told + him of the gentleness of the odalisque, he was + resolved to take no chances. Whatever the + creature was, she had slid down, forming a + limp lump at the end of the bag, when he + charily deposited it on the floor and turned to + consult his dictionary before untying it. He + was going to know what the creature was + before he dealt with her further, a creature so + large as that.</p> + + <p><em>Odalisque.</em> A slave or concubine in a Mohammedan + harem!!</p> + + <p>A woman!!!</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton tore at the string by which + the bag was tied, full of the keenest self-reproach. + The uncomfortable position during + the long ride, the worse position in which she + now lay. The knots refused to budge and + snatching a knife, with a mighty slashing, he + ripped the bag all away and disclosed the + slender form of a woman crouched, huddled, + collapsed, face downward, head upon her + knees. Turning her over and supporting her + against his breast in a sitting posture, Mr. + Middleton looked upon the most loveliness, + unhappiness, and helplessness he had ever + beheld.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page293" title="293"> </a>For a moment his heart almost stopped as he + looked into the still face, but he saw the bosom + faintly flutter, slow tears oozed out from under + the long lashes of the closed lids, and the + cupid’s bow mouth gave little twitches of misery + and hopelessness. With what exquisite + emotions was he filled as he looked down upon + the head pillowed upon his breast, with what + sentiments of anger, with what noble chivalry!</p> + + <p>A Moslem woman. A Moslem woman, who + even in the best estate of her sex as free and a + wife, goes to her grave like a dog, with no + hope of a life beyond, unless her husband amid + the joys of Paradise should turn his thoughts + back to earth and wish for her there among his + houris. But this poor sweet flower had not + even this faint expectation, for she was no wife + nor could be, slave of a Mohammedan harem. + No rights in this world nor the next. Not even + the attenuated rights which law and custom + gave the free woman. No sustaining dream of + a divine recompense for the unmerited unhappiness + of this existence. A slave, a harem + slave, wanted only when she smiled, was gay, + and beautiful; who must weep alone and in + silence, in silence, with never a sympathetic + shoulder to weep upon after they sold her from + <a class="pagenum" id="page294" title="294"> </a>her mother’s side. Tied in a bag, going she + knew not whither, thrown in a carriage like so + much carrion, in these indignities she only + wept in silence, for her lord, the man, must not + be discomposed. Like the timorous, helpless + wild things of the woods whose joys and sorrows + must ever be voiceless lest the bloody + tyrants of their domain come, who even in the + crunch of death hold silence in their weak + struggles, this poor young thing bore her sufferings + mutely, for her lord, the man, must not be + discomposed, choking her very breath lest a + sob escape. Mr. Middleton, in a certain illuminating + instinct which belongs to women but + only occasionally comes to some men, saw all + this in a flash without any pondering and turning + over and reflecting and comparing, and he + said to himself under his breath, not eloquently, + but well, as there came home to him + the heinousness of that abhorrant social system + dependent upon the religious system of the + Prophet of Mecca, “Damn the emir and Mohammed + and the whole damned Mohammedan + business, kit and boodle!â€</p> + + <p>In this imprecation there was a piece of + grave injustice which Mr. Middleton would not + have allowed himself in calmer mood, for the + <a class="pagenum" id="page295" title="295"> </a>emir was about to become a member of one of + the largest and most fashionable Presbyterian + congregations in the city and ought not to have + been included in an anathema of Moslemry and + condemned for anything he upheld while in the + benighted condition of Mohammedanism.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton continuing to gaze, as who + could not, upon that beautiful unhappy face, + suddenly he imprinted upon the quivering lips + a kiss in which was the tender sympathy of a + mother, the heartening encouragement of a + friend, and the ardent passion of a lover. The + odalisque opened her lovely hazel eyes and + <em>seeing</em> corroboration of all the <em>touch</em> of the + kiss had told her, as she looked into eyes + that brimmed with tears like hers, upon lips + that quivered like hers, she let loose the flood + gates of her woes in a torrent of sobs and tears, + and throwing herself upon his shoulders, poured + out her long pent sorrows in a good cry.</p> + + <p>It was only a summer shower and the sun + soon shone. She did not weep long. Too + filled with wonder and surpassing delight was + this daughter of the Orient in her first experience + with the chivalry of the Occident. She + must needs look again at this man whose eyes + had welled full in compassion for her. She + <a class="pagenum" id="page296" title="296"> </a>would court again his light and soothing + caresses, his gentle ministrations, so different + from the brutal pawing of the male animals of + her own race, the moiety with souls. Ah, how + poignantly sweet, how amazing, that which to + her American sisters was the usual, the commonplace, + the everyday!</p> + + <p>She raised her head. Her tears no longer + flowed, but her lips still quivered, in a pleading + little smile; and her bosom still fluttered, in a + shy and doubting joy, and in her mind floated + a half-formed prayer that the genii whose craft + had woven this rapturous dream, would not too + soon dispel it.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton gazed at her. He had never + seen a face like that, so perfectly oval; never + such vermillion as showed under the dusk of + her cheeks and stained the lips, narrow, but + full. What wondrous eyes were those, so + large and lustrous, illumining features whose + basal lines of classic regularity were softly + tempered into a fluent contour. A circlet of + gold coins bound her brow, shining in bright + relief against the luxuriant masses of chestnut + hair. A delicate and slender figure had she, + yet well cushioned with flesh and no bones + stood out in her bare neck.</p> + + <p><a class="pagenum" id="page297" title="297"> </a>Moved not by his own discomfort on the + hard floor, but by the possible discomfort of + the odalisque, Mr. Middleton at length raised + her and conducted her to a red plush sofa + obtained by the landlady for soap wrappers and + a sum of money, which having turned green in + places and therefore become no longer suitable + for a station in the parlor, had been placed in + this room a few days before. Upon this imposing + article of furniture the two sat down, and + though at first Mr. Middleton did no more than + place his arm gently and reassuringly about the + girl’s waist and hold her hand lightly, in the + natural evolution, progression, and sequence + of events, following the rules of contiguity and + approach—rhetorical rules, but not so here—before + long the cheek of the fair Arab lay + against that of the son of Wisconsin and her + arm was about his neck and every little while + she uttered a little sigh of complete, of unalloyed + content. What had been yesterday, + what might be to-morrow, she was now happy. + As for Mr. Middleton, what a stream of delicious + thoughts, delicious for the most part + because of their unselfishness and warm generosity, + flowed through his head. What a joy it + would be to make happy the path of this girl + <a class="pagenum" id="page298" title="298"> </a>who had been so unhappy, to lay devotion at + the feet of her who had never dreamed there + was such a thing in the world, to bind himself + the slave of her who had been a slave.</p> + + <p>Then, too, he luxuriated in the simple, elementary + joy of possession and the less elementary + joy of possession of new things, whether + new hats, new clothes, new books, new horses, + new houses, or new girls, and which is the + cause why so many of us have new girls and + new beaux. And when he looked ahead and + saw only one logical termination of the episode, + he swelled with a pride that was honest + and unselfish, as he thought how all would look + and admire as he passed with this lovely + woman, his wife.</p> + + <p>He could have sat thus the whole night + through, but the girl must be tired, worn by + the sufferings of this day and many before. + He motioned toward the bed and indicated by + pantomime that she should go to it. She + would have descended to her knees and with + her damask lips brushed the dust from his + shoes, if she had thought he wished it, but she + knew not what he meant by his gesturing and + sat bewildered in eager and anxious willingness. + So arranging the bed for her occupancy, + <a class="pagenum" id="page299" title="299"> </a>he took her in his arms and bore her to it and + dropped her in. The riotous blushes chased + each other across her cheeks as she lay there + with eyes closed, so sweet, so helpless, so + alone.</p> + + <p>For a little season he stood there gazing, + gloating, enravished, like to hug himself in the + keen titillation of his ecstasy and this was not + all because this lovely being was his, but + because he was hers.</p> + + <p>Glancing about the room preliminarily to + leaving, and wondering what further was to be + done for the girl’s comfort and peace of mind, + he bethought him of an ancient tale he had + once read. In this narration, fate having + made it unavoidable that a noble lord should + pass the night in a castle tower with a fair + dame of high degree and there being but one + bed in the apartment, he had placed a naked + sword in the middle of the bed between them + and so they passed the night, guarded and + menaced by the falchion, for the nonce become + the symbol of bright honor and cold virtue. + Mr. Middleton had often wondered why the + knight did not sleep on the floor, or outside + the door, as he himself now intended doing. + But it occurred to him that some such symbol + <a class="pagenum" id="page300" title="300"> </a>might reassure the Arab damosel and having + no sword, he drew one of the large pistols the + emir had given him and approached the bed + to lay it there.</p> + + <p>The girl’s eyes had now opened and Mr. + Middleton started as he beheld her face. Once + more the hunted, helpless look it had worn + when first he had looked on it. But more. + Such an utter fear and sickening unto death. + But not fear, terror for herself. Fear for the + death of an ideal, a fear caused by her misinterpretation + of his intent with the pistol. It + had not been real, it had not been real. He + was as other men, the men of her world and all + the world was alike and life not worth living. + With a finesse he had not suspected he possessed, + he laid the pistol on a pile of legal + papers on a table at the bed’s head, a pile + whose sheets a suddenly entering breeze was + whirling about the room. How obvious it was + he had brought the pistol for a paper weight. + Once more the girl was smiling as he drew the + clothes over her, all dressed as she was, and + kissing shut her drowsy eyes, he left her in her + virginal couch.</p> + + <p>On the mat before the door in the hallway + without, he disposed himself as comfortably as + <a class="pagenum" id="page301" title="301"> </a>he could. With due regard for the romantic + proprieties, he tried to keep within the bounds + of the mat. But it was too short, his curled + up position too uncomfortable, and so he overflowed + it and could scarcely be said to be sleeping + on the mat. It was too late to arouse the + landlady and although he was there by choice, + it could not have been otherwise.</p> + + <p>After snatches of broken sleep, after dreams + waking and dreams sleeping, which were all + alike and of one thing and indistinguishable, + he was at length fully awake at a little before + six and aware of an odor of tobacco smoke. + Applying his nose to the crack of the door, he + finally became convinced that it came from his + room. Wondering what it could possibly + mean, and accordingly opening the door, opening + it so slowly and gradually that the odalisque + could have ample time to seek the cover + of the bed clothes, he stepped in.</p> + + <p>There sat the odalisque on the edge of the + bed, fully dressed, puffing away at his big + meerschaum, blowing clouds that filled the + room. On the table lay an empty cigarette + box that had been full the night before. This + had not belonged to Mr. Middleton, who was + not a cigarette smoker and despised the practice, + <a class="pagenum" id="page302" title="302"> </a>but had been forgotten by Chauncy + Stackelberg on a recent visit. The fingers of + her right hand were stained yellow, not by the + cigarettes of that one box, but the unnumbered + cigarettes of years. Mr. Middleton had not + noticed these fingers the night before, but had + been absorbed by her face, and this as beautiful, + as piquant, as bewitching as before, looked + up at him, the lips puckered, waiting, longing.</p> + + <p>He stood there, stock-still, stern, troubled, + dismayed.</p> + + <p>She moved over, where she sat on the edge + of the bed, with mute invitation, and Mr. Middleton + continuing to stand and stare, she moved + again and yet again, until she was against the + headboard. And still he did not sit beside + her, thinking all the time of the young lady of + Englewood whose pure Puritan lips never had + been and never could be defiled by cigarettes + and tobacco. The young lady of Englewood, + the young lady of Englewood, what a jewel of + women was she and what a fool he had been + and how unkind and inconsiderate! Recalled + by a little snuffle from the odalisque, he saw + the puckered lips were relaxing sorrowfully + and fearing the girl would cry, he hastily sat + down beside her and put his right arm about + <a class="pagenum" id="page303" title="303"> </a>her. But he did not take the shapely hand + that now laid down the meerschaum, and + though her head fell on his shoulder and her + breath came and went with his, he did not kiss + her, for that breath was laden with tobacco. + Nor did his fingers stray through those masses + of silken hair, for he was sure they were full of + the fumes of tobacco. There with his arm + about the soft, uncorsetted form of that + glorious beauty, her own white forearm smooth + and cool about his neck, he was thinking of the + young lady of Englewood.</p> + + <p>Poor odalisque! Why cannot he speak to + you and tell you? You would wash away those + yellow stains with your own blood, if you + thought he wished it. Forego tobacco? Why, + you would cease to inhale the breath of life + itself, for his sake.</p> + + <p>Out of the grave came all the dead Puritan + ancestors of Mr. Middleton, a long procession + back to Massachusetts Bay. The elders of + Salem who had ordained that a man should not + smoke within five miles of a house, the lawgivers + who had prescribed the small number, + brief length, and sad color of ribbons a woman + might wear and who forbade a man to kiss his + wife on Sunday, all these righteous and uncomfortable + <a class="pagenum" id="page304" title="304"> </a>folk stirred in Mr. Middleton’s + blood and obsessed him.</p> + + <p>Fatima, Nouronhor, or whatever your name + might be, my fair Moslem, why did fate throw + you in with a Puritan? Yet I wot that had it + been one from a strain of later importation + from Europe, you had not been so safe there + last night. The Puritans may be disagreeable, + but they are safe, safe.</p> + + <p>Part of this Mr. Middleton was saying over + and over to himself—the latter part. The + Puritans are safe. The young lady of Englewood + was safe. She was good, she was beautiful, + too, in her calm, sweet, Puritan way. He + must see her at once, he would go—— A sigh, + not altogether of content, absolute and complete, + recalled to him the woman pressed + against his side. She must be taken care of, + disposed of. Asylum? No. Factory? No, + no. Theater, museum? No, no, no. He + would find some man to marry her. There + must be someone, lots of men, in fact, who + would marry a girl so lovely, who needn’t find + out she smoked until after marriage, or who + would not care anyway. All this might take + time. He would be as expeditious as possible, + however. He called Mrs. Leschinger, + <a class="pagenum" id="page305" title="305"> </a>the landlady, and entrusting the girl to her + care, departed to visit a matrimonial agency he + knew of.</p> + + <p>He looked over the list of eligibles. He + read their misspelled, crabbedly written letters. + There was not one in the lot to whom a man + of conscience could entrust the Moslem flower, + even if she did smoke.</p> + + <p>“There is apparently not one man of education + or refinement in the whole lot,†exclaimed + Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“That’s about right,†said the president of + the agency. “Between you and I, there ain’t + many people of refinement who would go at + marrying in that way. You don’t know what + a lot of jays and rubes I have to deal with. + Often I threaten to retire. But occasionally a + real gentleman or lady does register in our + agency. Object, fun or matrimony. Now I + have one client that is all right, all right except + in one particular. He is a man of thirty-five + or six, fine looking, has a nice house and five + thousand dollars a year clear and sure. But + he’s stone deaf. He wants a young and handsome + girl. Now I could get him fifty dozen + homely young women, or pretty ones that + weren’t chickens any longer, real pretty and + <a class="pagenum" id="page306" title="306"> </a>refined, but you see a real handsome young + girl sort of figures her chances of marrying are + good, that she may catch a man who can hear + worth as much as this Crayburn, which ain’t a + whole lot, or that if she does marry a poor + young chap, he’ll have as much as Crayburn + does when he is as old as Crayburn. Now I’m + so sure you’ll only have your trouble for your + pains, that I won’t charge you anything for his + address and a letter of introduction. I don’t + believe you have got a girl who will suit, for if + you have, she won’t take Crayburn. Here’s + his picture.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton looked upon the photograph + of a man who seemed to be possessed of some + of the best qualities of manhood. It was true + that there was a slight suspicion of weakness in + the face, but above all it was kindly and sympathetic.</p> + + <p>“A good looking man,†said Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“Smart man, too,†said the matrimonial + agent. “He graduated from the university in + Evanston and was a lawyer and a good one, + until a friend fired off one of those big duck + guns in his ear for a joke.â€</p> + + <p>Taking the odalisque with him in a cab, Mr. + <a class="pagenum" id="page307" title="307"> </a>Middleton was off for the residence of Mr. + Crayburn.</p> + + <p>“Will she have me?†asked Mr. Crayburn, + when he had read Mr. Middleton’s hastily + penciled account of the main facts of his connection + with the fair Moslem, wherein for + brevity’s sake he had omitted any mention of + the fifteen hundred dollars the emir had given + him for assuming charge of her.</p> + + <p>“Of course,†wrote Mr. Middleton.</p> + + <p>“I never saw a more beautiful woman,†exclaimed + Mr. Crayburn. “By the way, have + you noticed any predilections, habits, wants, + it would be well for me to know about?â€</p> + + <p>“She smokes,†wrote Mr. Middleton, not + knowing why he wrote it, and wishing like the + devil that he hadn’t the moment he had.</p> + + <p>“All Oriental women smoke. I will ask her + not to as soon as she learns English.â€</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton was amazed to think that + such a simple solution had not occurred to + him. But he was glad it was so, for he had + not been unscathed by Cupid’s darts there last + night and he might not now be about to visit + the young lady of Englewood.</p> + + <p>“Your fee,†said Mr. Crayburn.</p> + + <p>Mr. Middleton had not thought of this. He + <a class="pagenum" id="page308" title="308"> </a>looked about at the handsomely furnished + room. He thought of the five thousand dollars + a year and the very much smaller income + he could offer the young lady of Englewood. + He thought of these things and other things. + He thought of the young lady of Englewood; + of the odalisque, toward whom he occupied + the position of what is known in law as next + friend. She sat behind him, out of his sight, but + he saw her, saw her as he saw her for the first + time, when, ripping the bag away, she lay there + in her piteous, appealing helplessness.</p> + + <p>“There is no fee. The maiden even has a + dowry of fifteen hundred dollars. Please + invest it in her name. Oh, sir, treat her + kindly.â€</p> + + <p>“Treat her kindly!†exclaimed the deaf man + with emotion. “He would be a hound who + could ill treat one so helpless and friendless, a + stranger in a strange land, whose very beauty + would be her undoing, were she without a protector.â€</p> + + <p>Much relieved, Mr. Middleton prepared to + depart and the odalisque saw she was not to be + included in his departure. She noted the + luxurious appointments of the house, so different + from the threadbare and seedy furnishings + <a class="pagenum" id="page309" title="309"> </a>of Mr. Middleton’s one lone room, but rather + a thousand times would she have been there. + A tumult of yearning and love filled her heart, + but beyond the slow tears in her eyes and the + trembling lips, no one could have guessed it. + Once more she was a Moslem slave, sold by + the man whom last night she had thought——She + bowed to kismet and strangled her feelings + as she had so many times before. And + so after a shake of the hand, Mr. Middleton + left her, left her to learn as the idol of Mr. + Crayburn’s life, with every whim gratified, that + the first American she had known was but one + of millions.</p> + + <p>Away toward Englewood hastened Mr. Middleton, + reasoning with himself in a somewhat + casuistical manner. His conscience smote him + as he thought of the previous night. But + what else could anybody have done? Deprived + of the power of communicating by the means + of words, he had by caresses assuaged her + grief and stilled her fears and now it was too + plain he had made her love him and he had + left her in desolation. But heigho! what was + the use of repining over spilled milk and nicotined + fingers that another man and good would + care for, and he himself had not been unscathed + <a class="pagenum" id="page310" title="310"> </a>by Cupid’s darts there the night + before.</p> + + <p>The young lady of Englewood was just putting + on her hat to go out and was standing + before the mirror in the hallway. Mr. Middleton + had never called at that hour of the + day. For months he had not called at all and + she never expected that he would again. So + without any apprehension at all, she was wearing + one of the green silk shirt waists she had + made from the Turkish trousers he had given + her, and had just got her hat placed to suit + her, when there he was!</p> + + <p>She turned, blushing furiously. Whether it + was the confusion caused her by being discovered + in this shirt waist, or the joy of seeing + him again and the complete surrender, she + made in this joy, so delectable and unexpected + and which was not unmixed with a little fear + that if he went away this time, he would never + come back again, never! whether it was these + things or what not, she made no struggle at all + as Mr. Middleton threw his arms about her, + threw them about her as if she were to rescue + him from some fate, and though he said nothing + intelligible for some time, but kissed her + lips, cheeks, and nose, which latter she had + <a class="pagenum" id="page311" title="311"> </a>been at pains to powder against the hot sun + then prevailing, she made no resistance at all + and breathed an audible “yes,†when he + uttered a few incoherent remarks which might + be interpreted as a proposal of marriage.</p> + + <p>Here let us leave him, for all else would be + anti-climax to this supreme moment of his + life. Here let us leave him where I wish every + deserving bachelor may some day be: in the + arms of an honest and loving woman who is + his affianced wife.</p> +</div> +<div id="the_end"> </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton, by +Wardon Allan Curtis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton + +Author: Wardon Allan Curtis + +Release Date: January 28, 2009 [EBook #27917] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. MIDDLETON *** + + + + +Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +_The_ Strange Adventures _of_ Mr. Middleton + + + +BY + + + +WARDON ALLAN CURTIS + + + +CHICAGO +HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY + +MCMIII + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1903, BY +HERBERT S. STONE & COMPANY +CHICAGO + + + + +CONTENTS + + + The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir + Achmed Ben Daoud + The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of William Hicks + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir + The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir + The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir + The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of + the Emir + The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud + What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of + the Emir + + + + +_The_ Strange Adventures _of_ Mr. Middleton + + + + +_The Manner in Which Mr. Edward Middleton Encounters the Emir Achmed +Ben Daoud._ + + +It was a lowering and gloomy night in the early part of the present +century. Mr. Edward Middleton, a gallant youth, who had but lately +passed his twenty-third year, was faring northward along the southern +part of that famous avenue of commerce, Clark Street, in the city of +Chicago, wending his way toward the emporium of Mr. Marks Cohen. +Suddenly the rain which the cloudy heaven had been promising for many +hours, began to descend in great scattered drops that presaged a heavy +shower. Mr. Middleton hastened his steps. It was possible that if the +dress-suit he wore, hired for the occasion of the wedding of his +friend, Mr. Chauncey Stackelberg, should become imbued with moisture +in the shower that now seemed imminent, Mr. Cohen, of whom he had +hired the suit, would not add to the modicum agreed upon, a charge for +pressing it. But if his own suit for everyday wear, which he was +carrying under his arm with the purpose of putting it on at good Mr. +Cohen's establishment, should become wet, that would be a serious +matter. It was, in fact, his only suit and that will explain the +anxiety with which he scanned the heavens. Suddenly, Pluvius unloosed +all the fountains of the sky, and with scarcely a thought whither he +was going, Mr. Middleton darted into the first haven of refuge, a +little shop he happened to be just passing. As the door closed behind +him with the tinkle of a bell in some remote recess, for the first +time he realized that the place he had entered was utterly dark. His +ears, straining to their uttermost to make compensation for the +inability of his eyes to be of service to him in this juncture, could +no more than inform him that the place was utterly silent. But to his +nose came the powerful fragrance of strange foreign aromas such as he +had never had experience of before,--which, heavy and oppressive in +their cloying perfume, seemed the very breath of mystery. All traffic +had ceased without, as the night was well advanced and the rain beat +so heavily that the few whom business or pleasure had called abroad at +that hour, had sought shelter. But though the rain now fell with a +steady roar, Mr. Middleton, perturbed by a nameless disquiet, was +about to rush forth into the tempest and seek other shelter, when a +door burst open and, outlined against a glare of light, stood a +gigantic man who said in a deep, low voice that seemed to pervade +every corner of the room and cause the air to shake in slow +vibrations, "Salaam aleikoom!" Which being repeated again, Mr. +Middleton replied: + +"I do not understand the German language." + +A low, musical laugh greeted this remark and the laugh resolving +itself into a low, musical voice that bade him enter, Mr. Middleton +found himself in a small boudoir of oriental magnificence, facing a +young man in the costume of the Moslem nations, who sat cross-legged +upon a divan smoking a narghileh. He was of perhaps twenty-six, +somewhat slight, but elegant of person. His face, extremely handsome, +betokened that he was a man of intelligence and sensibility. Two +brilliant, sparkling eyes illumined his countenance and the curl of +his carmine lips was that of one who while kind--without condescension +and the odiousness of patronage--to all whom the mischance of fate had +made his inferiors in fortune, would not bend the fawning knee to any +whom the world calls great. Behind him stood a giant blackamore, he of +the voice that had saluted Mr. Middleton. The blackamore was dressed +in crimson silk sparkling with an array of gold lace, but his immense +turban was snowy white. Against his shoulder reposed a great +glittering scimetar and a dozen silver-mounted pistols and poniards +were thrust in his sash. + +Presently the young man removed the golden mouth-piece of the +narghileh from his lips and regarding Mr. Middleton fixedly, remarked: + +"There is but one God and Mohammed is his Prophet." + +Now this was not the doctrine Mr. Middleton had been taught in the +Methodist Sunday School in Janesville, Wisconsin, but disliking to +dispute with one so engaging as the handsome Moslem, and having read +in a book of etiquette that it was very ill mannered to indulge in +theological controversy and, moreover, being conscious of the presence +of the blackamore with the glittering scimetar, he began to make his +excuses for an immediate departure. But the Moslem would not hear to +this. + +"Mesrour will bear your garments to Mr. Cohen. From your visage, I +judge you to be a person I wish to know. I take you to be endowed with +probity, discretion, and valor, and not without wit, good taste, and +good manners. Mesrour, relieve the gentleman of his burden." + +Whereupon Mr. Middleton was compelled to state that it was the garment +on his back that was to go to Mr. Cohen, though he feared this +confession would cause him to fall in the estimation of the Moslem. +But the stranger relaxed none of his deference at this intimation that +Mr. Middleton was not a person of consequence. + +"Mesrour, take two sequins from the ebony chest. The price the +extortionate tailor charges, is some thirty piastres. Bring back the +change and a receipt." + +"Salaam, effendim!" and Mesrour bowed until the crown of his head was +presented toward his master, together with the palms of his hands, and +in this posture backed from the room, leaving Mr. Middleton +speculating upon the wonder and alarm little Mr. Cohen would +experience at beholding the gigantic Nubian in all his outlandish +panoply. While changing the dress suit for his street wear, from a +back room came the sound of the blackamore moving about, chanting that +weird refrain, tumpty, tumpty, tum--tum; tumpty, tumpty, tum--tum; +which from Mesopotamia to the Pillars of Hercules, from the time of +Ishmael to the present, has been the song of the sons of the desert. +What was his surprise when the blackamore emerged. Gone were his +turban, his flowing trousers, his scimetar, pistols, and poniards. He +had on a long yellow mackintosh, which did not, however, conceal a +pair of black and white checked pantaloons, a red tie, and green vest, +from each upper pocket of which projected an ivory-handled razor. + +"Don't forget the change, Mesrour." + +"No indeed, boss," replied the blackamore, whistling "Mah Tiger Lily," +as he departed. + +The Moslem provided Mr. Middleton with one of those pipes which in +various parts of the Orient are known as narghilehs, hubble-bubbles, +or hookabadours, and seeing his guest entirely at his ease, without +ado began as follows: + +"My name is Achmed Ben Daoud, and I am hereditary emir of the tribe of +Al-Yam, which ranges on the border of that fortunate part of the +Arabian peninsular known as Arabia the Happy. My youngest brother, +Ismail, desirous of seeing the world, went to the court of Oman, where +struck by his inimitable skill in narration, the imam installed him as +royal story-teller. But having in the space of a year exhausted his +stock of stories, the imam, who is blessed with an excellent memory, +discovering that he was telling the same stories over again, shut him +up in a tower constructed of vermilion stone quarried on the upper +waters of the great river Euphrates. There my poor brother is to stay +until he can invent a new stock of stories, but being utterly devoid +of invention, only death or relenting upon the part of the imam could +release him. Hearing of his plight, I went to the imam with the +proposition that I seek out some other story-teller and that upon +bringing him to Muscat, my brother be released. But the imam exclaimed +that he was tired of tales of genii and magicians, of enchantments and +spells, devils, dragons, and rocs. + +"'These things are too common, too everyday. Go to the country of the +Franks and bring me a story-teller who shall tell me tales of far +nations, and I will release Ismail, and load him with treasure.' + +"'My Lord,' said I, 'peradventure no Frank story-teller will come. To +guard against such eventuality, I will myself go to the lands of the +Franks, there to learn of adventures worthy the ear of your highness. +This I will do that my brother may be released from the vermilion +tower.' + +"'Do this, and I will give him the vermilion tower and make him grand +vizier of the dominions of Oman.' + +"As hereditary emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, I am prince of a +considerable population. My revenues are sufficient to support life +becomingly. But desiring to escape attention, and moreover, feeling +that I could better get in touch with all classes of the population, I +have established here in Chicago a small bazaar for the sale of +frankincense and myrrh, the balsam of Hadramaut and attar of roses +from the vales of Nejd, coffee of Mocha--which is in Arabia the +Happy--dates from Hedjaz, together with ornaments made from wood grown +in Mecca and Medina. Such is my stock in trade. By day, Mesrour and I +dress like Feringhis. But at night, it pleases us to cast aside the +stiff garb of the infidel for the flowing garments of my native land. +Mesrour then delights to make the obeisances my rank deserves, but +which in the presence of the giaours would excite mocking laughter. I +have prospered. I have made acquaintances and have learned of many +adventures. But I have made no friends. I have been much prepossessed +by your bearing and feel that I would like to have you for a friend. I +am also desirous of observing the effect of the tales of adventure I +have been collecting. I need to acquire skill in the art of narration, +and accordingly, I must have someone to tell them to, a person whose +complaisance will cause him to overlook the faults of a novice. I am +exceedingly anxious to have the distinguished honor of your company +and if you have any evenings when you are at leisure, I should be only +too glad to have you spend them here." + +"I can come this day week," said Mr. Middleton. + +"So be it. On that occasion I will tell you the tale of The Adventure +of the Virtuous Spinster. I have not asked you your calling in life, +for I am utterly without curiosity----" + +"I am a clerk in a law office," said Mr. Middleton, quickly, "where I +perform certain tasks and at the same time study law, and it is my +hope to be soon admitted to the bar." + +Prince Achmed regarded him earnestly for a moment, and then withdrew +to return with a sandalwood case in his hands. This he opened to +disclose a leathern-bound volume. Upon the cover was stamped a great +gilt monogram of letters in some strange language. The edges were +stained a brilliant and peculiarly vivid green. The pages were of fine +pearl-colored vellum, covered with strange characters in black. Each +chapter began with a great red initial surrounded by an illuminated +design of many colored arabesques. It was indeed a volume to cause a +book-lover to cry out with joy. + +"Here is all the law man needs, the sacred Koran. Here is the +beginning and end of law, the source of regulations that ensure +righteous conduct, the precepts of Mohammed, prophet of Allah. If +other laws agree with those of the Koran, they are needless. If they +disagree, they are evil. Study this guide of life, my friend, and +there will be no need to worry your brain with tomes of the +presumptuous wights who from their own imaginings dare attempt to +dictate laws and impiously substitute them for the laws revealed to +Mohammed from on high. Accept this gift and study it." + +With the sandalwood case containing the precious volume of the law +under his arm, Mr. Middleton departed. After the lapse of three days, +finding no immediate prospect of learning the Arabic language, and +fearful of offending Prince Achmed if he returned the book, and having +no possible use for it, he took it to a bibliophile, who exclaiming +that it was the handiwork of a Mohammedan monastery of Damascus and +bore on the cover the monogram of the fifth Fatimite caliph, and was +therefore a thousand years old, he told Mr. Middleton that though it +was worth much more, he could offer him but five hundred dollars, +which sum the astonished friend of Achmed received in a daze, and +departed to invest in a well located lot in a new suburb. Having no +use for the sandalwood case after the Koran had been disposed of, he +presented it to a young lady of Englewood as a receptacle for +handkerchiefs. + +Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when on the appointed +evening he once more sat in the presence of the urbane prince of the +tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored +sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of the Virtuous +Spinster. + + + + + +_The Adventure of the Virtuous Spinster._ + + +Miss Almira Johnson was a virtuous spinster, aged thirty-nine, who +lived in a highly respectable boarding-house on the north side. Her +days she spent in keeping the books of a large leather firm, in an +office which she shared with two male clerks who were married, and a +red-headed boy of sixteen, who was small for his age. + +On the evening when my tale begins, Miss Almira, tastefully attired +for her night's rest in a white nightgown trimmed with blue lace, was +peeping under the bed for the ever-possible man, the nightly rite +preliminary to her prayers. She fell back gasping in a vain attempt to +scream, but not a sound could she give vent to. The precaution of +years had been justified. _There lay a man!_ He was habited in a very +genteel frock-suit, patent-leather shoes, and although it must have +caused him some inconvenience in his recumbent position, upon his head +was a correct plug hat. The elegance and respectability of his garb +somewhat reassured Miss Almira, who was unable to believe that one so +apparelled could have secreted himself under her bed for an evil +purpose, when a new fear seized her, for arguing from this assumption, +she concluded he must have been placed there by others and was, in +short, dead. Whereupon, having to some degree recovered possession of +herself, she was opening her mouth to scream at this new terror, when +the man spoke. + +"Listen before you scream, I pray thee, beauteous lady, darling of my +life, pearl of my desires, star of my hopes." + +The strangeness of the address and the unaccustomed epithets caused +Miss Almira to forbear, for she could not hear what he had to say and +scream at the same time, and, moreover, she remembered how twenty +years before, Jake Long had fled, never to return to her side, when +after telling her she was the sweetest thing in the world, she had +screamed as his arms clasped about her in a bearish hug. + +"Fair lady, ornament of your sex, hear the words of your ardent +admirer before you blast his hopes." + +As he uttered these words, the stranger extricated himself from his +undignified position and sat down in a rocking chair before the +bureau. Miss Almira was more than ever prepossessed as she saw he wore +white kid gloves and that in his shirt front gleamed a large diamond. +He removed his hat, disclosing a heavy crop of black hair. He had blue +eyes and a strong, clean-shaven face. + +"For some time I have observed you and wondered how I was to realize +my fondest hopes and make your acquaintance. All day you are in the +office, where the two married men and the red-headed boy are always +_de trop_. My employment is of a nature that takes me out nights. In +fact, I teach a night school for Italians. To-day being an Italian +holiday and so no school, and as there is a possibility I shall soon +leave the city for an extended season, I have been unable to devise +any other means of declaring myself before the time for my departure. +Pray pardon me for the abruptness and importunity of my declaration, +pray forgive me for the unusual way which I have taken to secure an +interview alone with you. But if you only knew the ardor of my love, +my impatience--oh, would that our union could be effected this very +night!" + +Ravished by the elegance of the stranger both in his outward seeming +and his converse, melted by the warmth of a romantic devotion almost +unknown in these degenerate days, though common enough of yore, Miss +Almira paused a moment in the proud compliance of one about to gladly +bestow an inestimable, but hardly hoped-for gift, and crying, "It can +be done, it shall be done," threw herself into the cavalier's arms. + +"How so?" asked the stranger, after Miss Almira had disengaged herself +at the elapse of a proper interval. + +"Why, the Rev. Eusebius Williams has the next room. We will call him." + +"But," said the stranger, "I thought the occupant of the next room was +Mr. Algernon Tibbs, a gentleman from the country, who has recently +sold a large number of hogs here in the city and has been ill in his +room for a space by reason of a contusion on the head from a gold +brick, which was, so to speak, twice thrown at his head, once +figuratively as a ridiculously fine bargain which he refused to take, +and again when the owner, angered, struck him with the rejected gold." + +"I see," said Miss Almira archly, "that in planning for this, you have +tried to study the lay of the land; but be gratified, sir, for the +lucky chance which prevented a sad mistake. Mr. Tibbs and I do occupy +adjoining rooms. But the one Mr. Tibbs occupies is really mine. To-day +we exchanged and I will remain here for the four or five days Mr. +Tibbs is to be in the city. He has a large sum of money in his +possession, so we all infer. At any rate, he was afraid to sleep in +this room, where there is a fire escape at the window, and took mine, +where an unscalable wall prevents access. Suppose the Italian holiday +had been last night and you had come then. He would then have taken +you for a robber, notwithstanding that anybody could see you are a +gentleman." + +For the first time did Miss Almira become conscious she was not robed +as one should be while receiving callers, and blushing violently, she +leaped into bed, whence she bid the stranger retire for a bit until +she could dress, when they would invoke the kindly offices of the Rev. +Eusebius Williams. + +"Your name," she called, as the stranger was about to retire. + +"My name," said he impressively, "which will soon be yours, is +Breckenridge Endicott." + +"Mulvane," said Mr. Breckenridge Endicott to himself, noiselessly +descending the stairs, "what if she had screamed before you had pulled +yourself together and thought of that stunt? You didn't get old Tibb's +money, but you did get--away." + +Mr. Endicott tried the front door. To his apparent annoyance, there +was no bolt, no knob to unlock it, and key there was none. In the +parlors, he could hear the voices of boarders. + +"No way there, Mulvane," said Mr. Endicott. "I'll go into the kitchen +and walk out the back door. If there's anybody there, they'll think me +a new boarder." + +But he started violently and stood for some moments trembling for no +assignable reason, as he saw in front of the range a fat German hired +girl sitting in the lap of a fat Irish policeman. + +"No go through Almira's room to the fire escape. But perhaps I can get +out on the roof and get away somehow. She can't have dressed so soon," +and he ascended the stairs to run plump into Miss Almira, who popped +out of her room, resplendent in a rustling black silk. + +"Oh, you impatient thing," said Miss Almira, shaking a reproving +finger. "I put this on, and then I thought I ought to wear something +white, and so came out to tell you not to get impatient waiting, and +why I kept you so long," and back she popped. + +"You are up against it, Mulvane," said Mr. Breckenridge Endicott, +sitting disconsolately down upon the stairs. "Hold on, just the thing. +Why, as her husband, you'll live here unsuspected and get in with old +Tibbs. Why, the job will be pie. It won't be mean to her, either. When +you just vanish, she'll have 'Mrs.' tacked to her name, and that'll +help her. It will be lots of satisfaction. They can't call her an old +maid. 'Better 'tis to have loved and lost than never to have loved at +all.' I'll give her some of the boodle. She isn't bad looking. Wonder +why nobody ever grabbed on to her. If I had enough to live well, I'd +marry her myself and settle down." + +The Rev. Eusebius Williams, with ten dollars fee in his right +pantaloons pocket, and the radiant Almira, did not look happier during +the wedding ceremony than did Mr. Breckenridge Endicott. + +It was seldom that Mr. Endicott was absent from the side of his wife +during the next few days. Occasionally pleading urgent business, he +left her to go down town with Mr. Tibbs, whom he was seeking to +interest in a plan to extract gold from sea water, a plan upon which +Mr. Tibbs looked with some favor, for as presented by Mr. Endicott, it +was one of great feasibility and promised enormous profits. In the +setting forth of the method of extraction, Mr. Endicott was much aided +by his wife, who overhearing him in earnest consultation with Mr. +Tibbs bounded in and demanded to know what it was all about. Mr. +Endicott demurred, saying it was an abstruse matter which should not +burden so poetical a mind as hers. But Mr. Tibbs set it forth to her +briefly. Having in her youth made much of the sciences of chemistry +and physics, to the great amaze and admiration of Mr. Endicott, she +launched into a most lucid explication of the practicability of the +plan, leaving Mr. Tibbs more than ever inclined to venture his +thousands. + +"By Jove, she'll do, Mulvane. Why cut and run? Take her along. She is +a splendid grafter," said Mr. Endicott to himself, as he and his wife +withdrew from the presence of Mr. Tibbs. "My dear," he continued +aloud, "I was overcome by respect for the way you aided me. You are +indeed a jewel. I had never suspected you understood me, knew what I +was, until you came in and explained that sucker trap. You are a most +unexpected ally. You perceive clearly how the thing works?" + +"Why, of course, Breckenridge. I have not studied science in vain, +though I do not recall what part of the machine you call 'sucker +trap'. Doubtless the contrivance marked 'converter,' in the drawings. +Of course I understood you, right from the first, a noble, noble man, +and so romantic. But Brecky, dear, why let other people share in this +invention? Why not make all the money ourselves and become million, +millionaires? I shall build churches and libraries and support +missionaries. Why let Mr. Tibbs, who is a somewhat gross person, enjoy +any of the fruits of your genius?" + +Whereupon Mr. Endicott's face took on an expression of deep +disappointment, disillusionment, and sorrow, until seeing his own +sorrow mingled with alarm reflected on his wife's face, he presently +announced that they would depart on their wedding journey by boat for +Mackinac three days hence. + +"I shall stop fiddle-faddling and settle the business which delays me +here, at one stroke. The old simple methods are the best." + +As Mr. and Mrs. Breckenridge Endicott were entering their cab to drive +to the wharf, Mrs. Maxon, the landlady, came hurriedly with the +scandal that Mr. Algernon Tibbs had been found in his room in the +stupor of intoxication. + +"Why, he might have been robbed while in that condition," said Mrs. +Maxon. + +"He will not be robbed while under your roof," said Mr. Endicott +gallantly. "He is safe from robbing now. He will not, he cannot, I may +say, be robbed now." + +The sun was touching the western horizon as the steamer glided out of +the river's mouth. The wind lay dead upon the water, and for a space +the pair sat in the tender light of declining day indulging in the +pleasures of conversation, but at length Mr. Endicott led his wife to +their stateroom. + +"On this auspicious day, I wish to make you a gift," and he handed her +a thousand dollars in bills. "My presence is now required on the lower +deck for a time. Be patient during my absence," whereupon he embraced +her with an ardor he had never shown before and there was in his voice +a strange ring of regret and longing such as Almira had never listened +to. It thrilled her very soul and bestowing upon him a shower of +passionate kisses and an embrace of the utmost affection, their +parting took on almost the agony of a parting for years. + +"Where the devil is that coal passer Mullanphy, I gave a job to?" said +the engineer on the lower deck. "Is he aboard?" + +"His dunnage is in his bunk, but nobody ain't seen him," replied one +of the crew. + +"Who the devil is that geezer in a Prince Albert and a plug hat that +just went in back there, and what the devil is he up to?" said the +engineer again, as a black-clothed figure passed toward the stern. + +A few moments later, a sturdy man in a jumper and overalls, his face +smeared with grime, peered cautiously around a bulkhead, and seeing +nobody, stepped quickly to the side of the vessel, bearing a limp and +spineless figure in a black frock and silk hat. With a dextrous +movement, he cast the thing forth, and as it went flopping through the +air and slapped the water, from somewhere arose the voice of Mr. +Breckenridge Endicott crying, "Help! help! help!" + +Mrs. Endicott, full of dole at the absence of her spouse and oppressed +with a nameless disquiet, had paced the upper deck impatiently, and at +this moment stood just above where her beloved went leaping to his +doom. With one wild scream, she jumped, she scrambled, she fell to the +lower deck, colliding with a man leaning out looking at the sinking +figure. Down, with a vain and frantic clutching at the side that only +served to stay his fall so that he slipped silently into the water +under the vessel's counter, went the unfortunate man. + +Plump, into the yawl with the rescue crew, went Mrs. Endicott. Far +astern through the dusk could be seen a black silk hat on the still +water. Astern could be heard the voice of Mr. Breckenridge Endicott +crying, "Quick, quick! I can swim a little, but I am almost gone!" + +"Turn to the left, to the left," cried Mrs. Endicott. + +"But the cries come from the right," said the coxswain. + +"That's his hat to the left. I know his hat. I saw him fall. I know +his voice. It's his hat and his voice." + +The crew could have sworn that the cries came from the right, but to +the hat they steered and the cries ceased before their arrival. They +lifted the hat. Nothing beneath but eighty fathoms of water. + +It was some time thereafter that a fisherman came upon a corpse +floating inshore. Its face was bloated to such an extent as to prevent +recognition. Its clothes were those of a steamboat roustabout. In the +breastpocket was a large pocketbook bearing in gilt letters the +legend, "Mr. Breckenridge Endicott." + +"The present I gave him on the morning of our departure!" exclaimed +Miss Almira, "now so strangely found on the dead body of the man who +robbed him and probably murdered him." + +Although soaked, the bills were redeemable. The fisherman was a +fisherman who owned a town house on Prairie Avenue and a country house +at Oconomowoc and he would take no reward. The bills amounted to nine +thousand dollars. Taking her fortune, Almira retired to her former +home in Ogle county, Illinois, where once more meeting Mr. Jake Long, +lately made a widower, after a decent period of waiting, they became +man and wife. So it ended happily for all except the person who called +himself Mr. Breckenridge Endicott--though I suspect that was not his +name--and for Mr. Algernon Tibbs. Lest you waste pity on Mr. Algernon +Tibbs, let me say that in his youth, he was accustomed to kill little +girl's cats, and that his fortune was entirely one he beat out of his +brother-in-law, James Wilkinson. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir._ + + +"The individual whose sad taking-off I have just narrated," said the +emir of the tribe of Al-Yam, "affords an excellent example of the power +of good clothes. Suppose he had secreted himself under Miss Almira's +bed wearing a jumper, overalls, and a mask. He would have been +arrested and lodged in the penitentiary." + +"But he is now dead," said Mr. Middleton. + +"He had better be dead, than continuing his career of villainy and +crime," quoth the emir sternly, and then passing his eyes over the +person of Mr. Middleton, he remarked the somewhat threadbare and +glossy garments of that excellent young man. "If you would accept a +suit of raiment from me," continued the emir with a hesitation that +betrayed the delicacy which was one of the most marked of the many +estimable traits that made his character so admirable, "I would be +overjoyed and obliged. The interests of you, my only friend in this +vast land, have become to me as my own. Unfortunately I have no Frank +clothes except the one suit I wear daily. But of the costumes of my +native land, I have abundant store, and as we are of the same stature, +I beg you will make me happy by accepting one." + +Speaking some words to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, the +blackamore brought in and proceeded to invest Mr. Middleton with an +elegant silken habit consisting of a pair of exceedingly baggy +trousers of the hue of emeralds, a round jacket whose crimson rivalled +the rubies of Farther Ind, and a vest of snowy white. Double rows of +small pearls ornamented the edges of the jacket, which was short and +just met a copper-colored sash about the waist. After inducting him +into a pair of white leggings and bronze shoes, Mesrour clapped upon +his head a large white turban ornamented with a black aigret. + +Mr. Middleton looked very well in his new garments and while the emir +was complimenting him upon this fact and the grace of his bearing and +Mr. Middleton was uttering protestations of gratitude, Mesrour busied +himself, and Mr. Middleton, turning with intent to resume his wonted +garb, was astonished to find it in a network of heavy twine tied with +a multiplicity of knots. + +"Mesrour will bring you your Frank clothes in the morning. I am very +tired, and so I will bid you good night," and the yawn which now +overspread the face of the accomplished prince told more than his +words that the audience was ended. + +Mr. Middleton looked at the bundle with its array of knots. To untie +it would require a long time and the prince was repeating his yawn and +his good night. Even had he not hesitated to offend the prince by +demanding opportunity to resume his customary vestments and to weary +him by making him wait for this operation, which promised to be a long +one, he would have been without volition in the matter; for in +obedience to a gesture, Mesrour grasped his arm and with great +deference, but inflexible and unalterable firmness, led him through +the shop and closed the street door behind him. + +Mr. Middleton was greatly disconcerted at finding himself in the +street arrayed in these brilliant and barbarous habiliments, but +reflecting that the citizens traveling the streets at this hour would +perhaps take him for some high official in one of the many fraternal +orders that entertain, instruct, and edify the inhabitants of the +city, he proceeded on his way somewhat reassured. As he was changing +cars well toward his lodgings, at a corner where a large public hall +reared its facade, he heard himself accosted, and turning, beheld a +portly person wearing a gilt paper crown, a long robe of purple velvet +bordered with rabbit's fur spotted with black, and bearing in his hand +a bung-starter, which, covered with gilt paper, made a very creditable +counterfeit of a royal scepter. + +"Come here once," said this personage. + +With great affableness expressing a willingness to come twice, if it +were desired, Mr. Middleton accompanied the personage, as with an air +of brooding mystery, the latter led him down the street twenty feet +from where they had first stood. + +"Was you going to the masquerade?" + +"Yes," said Mr. Middleton, divining from the presence of the personage +and two other masquers whom he now beheld entering the hall, that a +masquerade was in progress. + +"What'll you take to stay away?" + +"Why?" + +"You'll take the prize." + +"What is the prize and why should the possibility of winning it deter +me?" + +"The prize is five dollars. It's this way. I am a saloonkeeper. Gustaf +Kleiner and I are in love with the same girl. She is in love with all +both of us. She don't know what to say. She can't marry all both, so +she says she'll marry the one what gits the prize at the masquerade. +If you git the prize, don't either of us git the girl already. I'll +give you twenty dollars to stay away." + +"But what of Gustaf Kleiner? Have you paid him?" + +"He is going to be a devil. I hired two Irishmans for five dollars to +meet him up the street, cut off his tail, break his horns, and put +whitewash on his red suit. He is all right. I'll make it thirty +dollars and a ticket of the raffle for my watch to-morrow." + +"Done," said Mr. Middleton, and he proceeded to draw up a contract +binding him to stay away from the masquerade for a consideration of +thirty dollars. + +It was not the least remarkable part of his adventure that he did not +meet Gustaf Kleiner in his damaged suit and for a consideration of +fifty dollars, lend him the magnificent Oriental costume. He did not +see Gustaf Kleiner at all, nor did he win the watch in the raffle and +the chronicler hopes that the setting down of these facts will not +cause the readers to doubt his veracity, for he is aware that usually +these things are ordered differently. + +Having kept the Oriental costume for several days and seeing no +prospect of ever wearing it, and his small closet having become +crowded by the presence of a new twenty-dollar suit which he purchased +with part of his gains, he presented it to the young lady in Englewood +previously mentioned, who reduced the ruby red jacket to a beautiful +bolero jacket, made a table throw of the sash, and after much +hesitation seized the exceedingly baggy trousers--which were made with +but one seam--and ripping them up, did, with a certain degree of +confusion, fashion them into two lovely shirt waists. But she did not +wear them in the presence of Mr. Middleton and did not even mention +them to him. Nor did Mr. Middleton allude to any of these transactions +when on the appointed day and hour he again sat in the presence of the +urbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Handing him a bowl of delicately +flavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of William +Hicks. + + + + +_The Adventure of William Hicks._ + + +Young William Hicks was a native of the village of Bensonville, in the +southern part of Illinois. Having, at the age of twenty, graduated at +the head of a class of six in the village school, his father thought +to reward him for his diligence in study by a short trip to the city +of Chicago, which metropolis William had never beheld. Addressing him +in a discourse which, while not long, abounded in valuable advice, Mr. +Hicks presented his son with a sum of money sufficient for a stay of a +week, provided it were not expended imprudently. + +One evening, William was walking along Wabash Avenue, feeling somewhat +lonely as he soberly reflected that not one in all that vast multitude +cared anything about him, when he heard himself accosted in a most +cheery manner, and looking up, beheld a beautiful lady smiling at him. +It was plain that she belonged to the upper classes. A hat of very +large proportions, ornamented with a great ostrich plume, shaded a +head of lovely yellow hair. She was clothed all in rustling purple +silk and sparkled with jewelry. Her cheeks and lips glowed with a +carmine quite unknown among the fair but pale damosels of Bensonville, +which is situated in a low alluvial location, surrounded by flat +plains, the whole being somewhat damp and malarial. William had never +imagined eyes so wide open and glistening. + +"My name is Willy, to be sure. But you have the advantage of me, for +ashamed as I am to say it, I cannot quite recall you. You are not the +lady who came to Bensonville and stayed at the Campbellite +minister's?" + +"Oh, how are all the dear folks in Bensonville? But, say, Will, don't +you want to come along with me awhile and talk it all over?" + +"I should be honored to do so, if you will lead the way. I confess I +am lonely to-night, and I always enjoy talking over old times." + +At this juncture, a sudden look of alarm spread over the lady's +beauteous face and a lumbering minion of the law stepped before her. + +"Up to your old tricks, eh?" he growled. "Didn't I tell you that the +next time I caught you tackling a man, I'd run you in? Run you in it +is. Come on, now." + +"Oh, oh," panted the lady, and great tears welled into her adorable +eyes. At that moment, there was a crash in the street, as a poor +Italian exile had his push cart overturned by the sudden and +unexpected backing of a cab. The policeman turned to look and, like a +frightened gazelle, the lady bounded away, closely followed by young +William. + +"Is there nothing I can do? Cannot I complain to the judge for you, or +address a communication to some paper describing and condemning this +conduct?" + +"Is he coming? Is he coming?" asked the lady, piteously. + +"No. But if he were, I would strike him, big as he is. Cannot a former +visitor in Bensonville greet one of its citizens without interference +from the police?" + +Hereupon the lady, who seemed to be giving little heed to what William +was saying, beyond the information that the policeman was not in +pursuit, gave a gay little laugh of relief, which caused William's +eyes to light in pitying sympathy. + +"Now that we are away from him, what do you say to a friendly game of +cards somewhere, to pass away the evening, which hangs heavy on my +hands and doubtless does on yours?" + +"I have never played cards," said William, "for while there is nothing +intrinsically wrong in them, they are the vehicle of much that is +injurious, and at the very least, they cause one to fritter away +valuable time in profitless amusement." + +"Oh, la! you are wrong there," said the lady, with a little silvery +laugh. "They are not a profitless amusement. Why, a man has to keep +his brains in good trim when he plays cards, and whist is just as good +a mental exercise as geometry and algebra, or any other study where +the mind is engaged upon various problems. You see I stand up for +cards, for I teach whist myself and I assure you that many of the +leading ladies of this city spend their time in little else than +whist, which they would not do if cards were what you say. Before you +pass your opinion, why not let me show you some of the fine points, +and then you will have something to base your judgment upon." + +William, quite impressed by the elegance and social standing of the +lady, as well as influenced by her beauty, despite her evident +seniority of ten or fifteen years, assented, and the lady continued: + +"I would invite you to my own apartments, but they are so far away, +and as we are now in front of the Hotel Dieppe, let us go up and +engage a room for a few hours and I will teach you a few little +interesting tricks with which you can amuse the people of Bensonville, +and even obtain some profit, if you wish to. What do you say?" + +William averring that he would be pleased to receive the proffered +instruction, she led the way up a flight of stairs and paused in the +doorway of the hotel office, for the Hotel Dieppe was a hostelry of no +great pretentions and occupied the upper stories of a building, the +lower floors of which were devoted to a furniture emporium. Behind the +counter stood a low-browed clerk with a large diamond in his shirt +front, who scrutinized them keenly. + +"You get the room," said the lady, coyly. "I'm bashful and don't like +to go in there where are all those smoking men. You may take it in my +name if you wish,--Madeleine Montmorency." + +"Number 15," said the clerk, and in a space William found himself in a +dark room, alone with the lady, and heard the door close behind them +and the key turn in the lock. + +"We are locked in!" exclaimed Miss Montmorency. + +"What's that?" said a deep voice in the darkness. + +Miss Montmorency screamed, and screamed again as William turned on the +light and they beheld a man lying in bed! + +William was stepping hastily to her side to shield her vision from +this improper spectacle, when he paused as if frozen to the floor. The +man was now sitting up in bed and he had a _red flannel night gown, +one eye_, AND TWO NOSES! + +"What the devil are you doing here?" exclaimed the monster in the red +flannel nightgown. + +"That I will gladly tell you, for I would not have you believe that we +wantonly intruded upon your slumbers." And thereupon William related +that he was a citizen of Bensonville who had met a former visitor +there and they had come here to talk over mutual acquaintances and +improve their minds by discreet discourse. "But, sir," he said, in +concluding, "pardon my natural curiosity concerning yourself. Who are +you and why are you?" + +"If I had the printed copies of my life here, I would gladly sell you +one, but I left them all behind. My name is Walker Sheldrup. I am +registered from Springfield, Mass., but I am from Dubuque, Iowa. I was +born in Sedalia, Mo., where my father was a prominent citizen. It was +he who led the company of men who, with five ox teams, hauled the +courthouse away from Georgetown and laid the foundations of Sedalia's +greatness. Had he lived, Sedalia would not have tried in vain to swipe +the capital from Jefferson City. As a youth I was distinguished--but +I'll cut all that out. Your presence here and the door being locked +behind you only too surely warns me that we have no time to lose. They +have taken you for the snake-eating lady and the rubber-skinned boy, +who ran away when I did and who were to meet me here in Chicago. If +you will turn your heads away so I can dress, I will continue. You +have heard of prenatal influences. Shortly before I was born, my +mother made nine pumpkin pies and set them to cool on a stone wall +beneath the shade of a large elm. As luck would have it, a menagerie +passed by and an elephant grabbed those pies one after another and ate +them. The sight of that enormous pachyderm gobbling my mother's +cherished handiwork, completely upset her. I was born with two noses +like the two tusks of the beast. At the same time, like the trunk, +they are movable. My two noses are as mobile and useful as two fingers +and if you have a quarter with you, I will gladly perform some curious +feats. My noses being so near together, ordinarily, I join them with +flesh-colored wax. I then seem to have but one nose, although a very +large one. I thus escape the annoying attention of the multitude, +which is very disagreeable to a proud man of good family, like me. +Young man, do you ever drink? In Dubuque, they got me drunk so I +didn't know what I was about and I signed a contract with a dime +museum company for twenty-five dollars a week. Take warning from my +fate. Never drink, never drink." + +"I can well imagine your sufferings at being a spectacle for a ribald +crowd," said William. "To a man of refined sensibilities, it must be +excruciating, and it was an outrage to entrap you into such a +contract." + +"I ought to have had seventy-five and could have got fifty. So I ran +away. Well, now, how are we going to get out of here? Can you climb +over the transom, young man?" + +As he said these words, the door flew open and in rushed some +villainous looking men, who gagged, handcuffed, and shackled Miss +Montmorency, William, and the two-nosed man. + +"We have the legal right to do this," said the leader, displaying the +badge of the Jinkins private detective agency. "Advices from Dubuque +set us at work. We early located Sheldrup at this hotel, and when the +clerk saw the rubber-skinned boy and the snake-eating lady come in, he +suspicioned who they was at once and by a great stroke, put 'em in +with old two-nose. Do you think we are going to put you through for +breach of contract and for swiping that money out of the till on the +claim it was due you on salary? Nit. Cost too much, take too much +time, and you git sent to jail instead of being back in the museum +helping draw crowds. We are in for saving time and trouble for you, +us, and your employer. To-night you ride out of here for Dubuque, +covered up with hay, in the corner of the car carrying the new trick +horse for the museum. Save your fare and all complications. Now, boys, +we want to work this on the quiet, so we will just leave 'em all here +until the streets are deserted and there won't be anybody around to +notice us gitting 'em into the hack." + +"Hadn't one of us better stay?" asked a subordinate. + +"How can people gagged, their ankles shackled, their hands handcuffed +behind 'em, git out? Why, I'll just leave the handcuff keys here on +the table and tantalize 'em." + +Tears welled in the soft, beauteous orbs of Miss Montmorency and +William's eyes spoke keen distress, but Mr. Sheldrup's eyes gleamed +triumphantly above the cloth tied about the lower part of his face. +Hardly had the steps of the detectives died away on the stair, when a +little click was heard behind Miss Montmorency and her handcuffs fell +to the floor. There stood Mr. Sheldrup, politely bowing, with the key +held between his two noses. She seized it and in a twinkling, the +bonds of all had been removed and, forcing the door, they started +away. At the street entrance stood the policeman who had insulted Miss +Montmorency! + +"Oh, he's waiting for me, and I'll get six months. He knew where I'd +go. I haven't any money," and tears not only filled the wondrous +optics of poor Miss Montmorency, but flowed down her cheeks. + +"Six months, your grandmother. I'll not go back on you. Young man, +follow me into the office and when I am fairly in front of the clerk, +give me a shove," and the two-nosed man, with a grip in each hand, +walked up to the clerk and began to rebuke him for his ungentlemanly +and unprincipled conduct. + +"You white-livered son of a sea-cook, you double-dyed, concentrated +essence of a skunk," and at that moment young William pushed him and +the two-nosed gentleman lurched forward, and bending his head to avoid +contact with the clerk's face, it rested against the latter's bosom +for a moment. Departing immediately, at the foot of the stairs the +two-nosed gentleman said to the policeman: + +"Officer, please let this lady pass. For various reasons, I desire it +enough to spare this stud, which will look well upon the best +policeman on the force." + +"All right," said the policeman. "Go along for all of me, Bet +Higgins," and he courteously accepted the diamond. + +"My stage name," said Miss Montmorency, in answer to an inquiring look +from William. "The name I sign to articles in the Sunday papers." + +"Now of course they are watching all the depots," said the two-nosed +gentleman. "Before they located me here they did that, and as they +have also been looking for the snake-eating lady and the +rubber-skinned boy, our late captors have not had time to notify them +that we have been captured. It is useless to try to escape that way, +then; it is too far to walk out, or go by street car, and as it is a +fair, moonlight night with a soft breeze, I am for getting a boat and +sailing out." + +After some search, they found a small sail boat. Miss Montmorency had +decided to flee from the wicked city with the two-nosed gentleman. She +had heard such delightful reports of Michigan. The owner of the boat +not being there and there being no probability that they would ever +return it, the two-nosed gentleman wrote a check on a Dubuque bank for +one hundred and seventy-five dollars, and Miss Montmorency an order on +the school board for a like amount, and these they pinned up where the +boatman could find them. + +"It will be quite like a fairy tale when the good boatman comes in the +morning and finds this large sum left him by those to whom his little +craft has been of such inestimable service," said William, and then +for fear the boatman might not find the check and the order, in two +other places he pinned up cards giving the whereabouts of the +remuneration for the boat and some statement concerning the +circumstances of its requisition. On the back of one of the cards had +been penciled his name and city address, and though he had erased the +black of this inscription, the impression yet remained distinctly +legible. This erasure was not due to any desire to conceal his +identity or lodgings, but because he had thought at first that he +could not get all the information on one side of the card. Having seen +his friends go slipping out on the deep, he turned pensively homeward, +somewhat heavy of heart, for when one faces perils with another, fast +friendships are quickly welded. + +In the morning, young William was arrested and lodged in jail and a +corrupt and venal judge laughed with contempt at his plea. After three +long days in jail, came Mr. Hicks, senior, who compounded with the +boat owner for two hundred and fifty dollars, the boat being, as the +owner swore, of Spanish cedar with nickel-plated trimmings. + + * * * * * + +"That is always the way when a person of good heart befriends +another," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Alas, too often," said the emir of the tribe of Al-Yam. "But I am +pleased to say that when once across the lake, the two-nosed gentleman +married Miss Montmorency, who whatever she might be, did not lack +certainly womanly qualities and had been the sport of an unkind world. +Having something to live for, the two-nosed gentleman signed with a +Detroit dime museum company at seventy-five dollars a week. His two +noses were not the most remarkable thing about him, for in course of +time hearing of young William's misadventure, he sent him a sum +equivalent to all the episode had cost him, together with a handsome +diamond stud, which he had with great deftness and cleverness taken +from the officious policeman, as he visited the dime museum with two +ladies while spending his vacation in Detroit. And this beautiful +ornament William delighted to wear, not merely because of its +intrinsic worth, which was considerable, but through regard for its +thoughtful and considerate donor." + +"The two-nosed man did truly show himself a man of gratitude, and I am +glad to hear of such an instance. Yet from what you said of him in the +beginning of the tale, I should not have expected it of him. How often +is one deceived by appearances and how hard it is to trust to them." + +"Even the wisest is unable to distinguish an enemy wearing the guise +of a friend, but we may bring to our assistance the aid of forces more +powerful than our poor little human intelligence. Let me present you +with a talisman which will ever warn you when any one plots against +you." + +"How?" + +"How? You must wait until some one plots against you and the talisman +will answer that question. Its ways of warning will be as manifold as +the plots villains may conceive. Here is the talisman, an Egyptian +scarabaeus of pure gold. So cunningly fashioned is it that not nature +itself made ever a bug more perfect in the outward seeming." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Third Gift of the Emir._ + + +Putting the scarabaeus in his left trousers pocket, Mr. Middleton +departed, and as he went about his affairs during the next several +days, he ceased to think of the talisman, but on the fourth day his +attention was recalled to it in a way that indeed seemed to prove that +it was a charm possessed of the powers the emir of the tribe of Al-Yam +had attributed to it. He was faring northward in a street car at +eleven of the morning, diverting himself with the study of the +passengers sitting opposite, when he became aware that the scarabaeus +in his left trousers pocket was slowly traveling up his leg. Had the +talisman been other than the heavy object it was, he would not have +noticed it, but it was of too considerable weight to travel over his +person without making its progress felt. Deterred by none of the +superstitious tremors which the unaccountable peregrinations of the +gold beetle would have excited in one less intrepid, he quickly thrust +his hand into his pocket to close it over another hand already there, +a hand which beyond a first little start to escape, lay passive and +unresisting, a hand soft and delicate, yet well-muscled withal, +long-fingered and finely formed. At the same time, a well-modulated +voice at his side exclaimed: + +"Why, I did not recognize you at first. I was not looking when you +came and you evidently did not notice me." + +"No, I did not," said Mr. Middleton, composedly, still retaining his +grasp upon the hand in his pocket. "I cannot see that you have changed +any," he continued, scrutinizing the young woman at his side, for she +was young and, moreover, of a very pleasing presence, and he did not +altogether rebel against the circumstances that allowed him to fondle +the hand of one so comely. The day, which had begun with a slight +chill, had turned off warm and she had removed her cloak, which, lying +across her own lap and partially across Mr. Middleton's, had been the +blind behind which she had introduced her hand into the pocket where +reposed the fateful talisman. + +The persons in the car seemed to take an interest in this sudden +recognition on the part of a pair who had been riding side by side for +so long, oblivious of each other's identity. Moreover, the young woman +was tastefully gowned and of a very smart appearance, while Mr. +Middleton's new suit became him and fitted him nicely and altogether +they were a couple nearly any one would find pleasure in looking upon. +A slight movement to withdraw the hand lying within his own, caused +Mr. Middleton's grasp to tighten and almost simultaneously, the young +woman at his side leaned forward and with a look in which sorrow and +pain were mingled, said in a lowered voice: + +"Oh, I have such a dreadful thing to tell you about our friend Amy. I +hate to tell you, but as I wish to bespeak your kind offices, I must +do so. I am going to ask you to be the agent of a restitution. She +has, oh, she has become a kleptomaniac. With every luxury, with her +fine home on the Lake Shore Drive, with all her father's wealth, with +no want money can gratify, she takes things. In her circumstances it +is out of the question to call it stealing. It is a mania, a form of +insanity. When she is doing it, she seems to be in the grasp of some +other mind, to be another person, and her actions are involuntary, +unconscious. Then she seems to come to herself, when her agony is +dreadful to behold." + +The young woman's voice broke a little here, she paused a moment to +resume control of herself, and perceiving her eyes swimming with tears +and her lips quivering with unhappiness, Mr. Middleton was penetrated +with pity and pressed most tenderly and sympathetically the delicate +hand of which he was temporarily custodian. + +"She took things in stores, trumpery, cheap things. She took magazines +and penny papers from news stands. But oh, she descended to the +dreadful depths of--oh, I can hardly tell it--she was detected in +trying to pick a man's pocket. It is here that I wish to employ you as +an agent of restitution, or rather retribution, I should say. Will you +please take this ring off my left hand and take it to the man she +tried to rob? I cannot use the fingers of my right hand owing to +temporary incapacitation," and she held out to Mr. Middleton her left +hand, upon the third finger of which gleamed a splendid ring of +diamonds and emeralds. Mr. Middleton possessed himself of this second +hand, but paused, and regarding the sweet face turned up to his so +beseechingly, so piteously, said: + +"But that would be compounding a felony. And how do you know the man +will not have her arrested anyway?" + +"The man is a gentleman and having heard her story, will not think of +such a thing. You are to ask him to accept the ring not as a price for +immunity from arrest, but as a punishment, a retribution to Amy. The +loss of the ring, which she has commissioned me to get to this +gentleman in some manner, will be a lesson she is only too anxious to +give herself, a forcible reminder, as it were. Let me beg of you to +undertake this commission." + +All the while, Mr. Middleton was retaining hold of both the hands of +the sorrowful young woman. Had they been other than the soft and +shapely hands they were, had they been hard and gnarled and large, +long before would he, melted by compassion at the young woman's tale, +have released her. But her very charms had been her undoing and +because of her perfect hands, this tale has grown long. That he might +have excuse in the eyes of the other passengers for holding the young +woman's hand, Mr. Middleton removed the ring as he had been bidden, +planning to return it shortly. As he removed the ring, he released the +hand in his pocket and his plan was frustrated by the young woman +starting up with the exclamation that she had passed her corner, and +springing from the car. She was so far in advance of him, when he +succeeded in getting off the car and was walking so rapidly, that he +could not overtake her except by running, and he was averse to +attracting the attention that this would occasion. So he determined to +shadow her and ascertaining her residence, find some means of +restoring the ring without the knowledge of her friends, as he had no +desire to do anything which might cause them to learn of her +unfortunate infirmity, especially, as this last experience might have +worked a cure. She did indeed enter a stately mansion of the Lake +Shore Drive--but by the back door. + +Pondering upon this episode, Mr. Middleton went to an acquaintance who +kept a large loan bank on Madison Street, who, after discovering that +he had no desire to pawn the ring, appraised it at seven hundred +dollars. + +On the following evening, Mr. Middleton was replacing his new suit by +his old, as was his custom when he intended to remain in his room of +an evening. This example cannot be too highly commended to all young +men. The amount which would be saved in this nation were all to +economize in this way, would be sufficient to buy beer for all the +Teutonic citizens of the large state of Illinois. As Mr. Middleton was +changing his clothes, the scarabaeus dropped from his pocket and as he +picked it up, a collar button fell from his neckband, and scrambling +for it as it rolled toward the unexplored regions under his bed, he +tripped and sprawled at full length, his nose coming in sharp contact +with an evening paper lying on the floor. He was about to rise from +his recumbent position, when his eyes, glancing along his nose to +discover if it had sustained any injury, observed that said member +rested upon a notice which read: + + "Lost, a diamond and emerald ring. $800 will be paid for its + return and no questions asked. David O. Crecelius." + +The address was that of the house on the Lake Shore Drive which the +kleptomaniac had entered! Once more did the scarabaeus seem to be +exerting its influence. But for the talisman, he would never have seen +the notice, and a little shiver ran through him as he thought of this. +Immediately he reclothed himself in his new suit. + +"There is time for me to think out a course of action between here and +my destination," said he. "The walking so conducive to reflection can +be much better employed in taking me toward the Lake Shore Drive, than +in uselessly pacing my room, and I'll be there when I get through." + +As he traveled eastward, he engaged in a series of ratiocinative +processes and the result of the deductive and inductive reasoning +which he applied to the case in hand, was as follows: + +The kleptomaniac could hardly be a daughter of the house. She would +have entered by the front door. If she were the daughter of the house, +she would not have had the ring advertised for, counting herself +fortunate to get out of the difficulty so cheaply. However, if her +parents had noted the absence of the ring, she might have said it was +lost and so they advertised, but nothing could have been further from +her wishes, for there would be the great danger that the outcome of +the advertisement would be a complete exposure. She could easily +prevent her parents noticing the ring was gone, at least making +satisfactory explanations for not wearing it. With her wealth, she +could have it duplicated inside of a few days and her friends never +know the original was lost. As this is what the daughter of the house +in all probability would have done, the kleptomaniac could hardly have +been the daughter of the house. He suspected that she was a lady's +maid, who, wearing her mistress's jewelry, had purchased her way out +of one difficulty at the risk of getting into another. The +advertisement would seem to indicate that she was trusted. The +disappearance of the ring was apparently not connected with her. The +matter was very simple. He would hand over the ring and take the eight +hundred dollars and need say nothing that would implicate the young +woman, be she daughter of the house and kleptomaniac, or serving-maid +and common thief. But one thing puzzled him. Why was the reward +greater than the value of the ring? + +Eight hundred dollars. The young lady in Englewood was getting nearer. + +A bitter east wind was blowing as he walked up to the entrance of the +mansion of Mr. David Crecelius. Behind him the street lay all deserted +and the melancholy voice of the waves filled the air. Nowhere could he +see a light about the house and he was oppressed by a feeling of +undefinable apprehension as he pressed the bell. A considerable +interval elapsing without any one appearing and a second and a third +ringing failing to elicit any response from within the silent pile, he +was about to depart, feeling greatly relieved that it was not +necessary to hold parley with any one within the gloomy and forbidding +edifice, when he heard a sudden light thud at his feet and discovered +that the scarabaeus had dropped through a hole in his trousers' pocket +which had at that moment reached a size large enough to allow it to +escape. After a hurried search, he had possessed himself of the +talisman and was about to depart, when the door swung open before him +and a venerable white-haired man stood in a dim green glow. Boldly did +Mr. Middleton enter, for had not the talisman delayed him until the +venerable man opened the door? + +"Come in, sir, come in," said the venerable man, whom Mr. Middleton +saw was none other than David O. Crecelius, the capitalist, whose +portraits he had seen again and again in the Sunday papers and the +weekly papers of a moral and entertaining nature, accompanying +accounts of his life and achievements, with exhortations to the youth +of the land to imitate them, advice which Mr. Middleton then and there +resolved to follow, reflecting upon the impeccable sources from which +it emanated. + +"All the servants seem to be gone. My family is abroad and the +household force has been cut down, and I have given everybody leave to +go out to-night, all but one maid, and she seems to have gone, too," +said Mr. Crecelius, leading Mr. Middleton into a spacious salon and +seating him near where great portieres of a funereal purple moved +uneasily in the superheated atmosphere of the house. At that moment, a +voice from the hallway, a voice he had surely heard before, said: + +"Did some one ring? I am very sorry, but it was impossible for me to +come," and Mr. Middleton was aware that some one was looking hard at +the back of his head. + +"Yes. I let them in. It's no matter. Run away now." + +When Mr. Middleton had finished explaining the reason for his call and +had fished up the ring, Mr. Crecelius did not, as he had expected he +would, arise and make out a check for $800. + +"This ring," said that gentleman after a little pause, "have you it +with you?" + +Mr. Middleton glanced at the hollow of his left hand. He had fished up +the scarabaeus instead of the ring. But his left thumb soon showed him +the ring was safe in his vest pocket. The delay and caution of Mr. +Crecelius, and above all, the prevention of the immediate delivery of +the ring caused by the scarabaeus coming up in its stead caused Mr. +Middleton to delay. + +"It can be produced," said he. + +"How did you get it?" + +"It came into my possession innocently enough so far as I was +concerned. As to the person from whom I received it, that is a +different matter, but though I made no promises, I feel I am in honor +bound not to disclose that person's identity." + +As he uttered these words, Mr. Middleton saw the portiere at his side +rustle slightly. It was not the swaying caused by the currents of +overheated air. + +"I will give you two hundred dollars more to tell me who gave you or +sold you the ring." + +"I cannot do that." + +"Very well. I'll only give you four hundred dollars reward." + +"The ring is worth more than that." + +"If you retain it, or sell it, you become a thief." + +"You have advertised eight hundred dollars reward and no questions +asked. I may have found it. Knowing of your loss through reading your +advertisement, I may have gone to great trouble to recover it. At any +rate, I have it. I deliver it. Your advertisement is in effect a +contract which I can call upon you to carry out. The ring is not mine, +but for my services in getting it, I am entitled to the eight hundred +dollars you agree to give. You cannot give less." + +"Do you think it right to take advantage of my necessity in this way? +You ought to accept less. The ring is not worth over seven hundred +dollars. For returning it, three hundred dollars ought to be enough. +It is wrong to drive a hard bargain by taking advantage of my +necessity." + +"You have built your fortune on such principles. You have engineered +countless schemes and your dollars came from the straits you reduced +others to." + +"But do you think it right? What I may have done, does not justify +you. I venture to say you and other young chaps have sat with heels +cocked up and pipes in mouth and discussed me and called me a villain +for doing what you are trying to do with me." + +"I have indeed. But that was in the past and I have changed my views +materially. At present, I have the exclusive possession of the ability +to secure something you very much want. You offered eight hundred +dollars. Intrinsically, the ring is not worth it, but for certain +reasons, possession of the ring is worth eight hundred dollars." + +"Possession of the ring! Certain reasons!" said Mr. Crecelius, +springing to his feet and pacing up and down the room angrily. As Mr. +Middleton was cudgelling his brains to find some reason for this +outburst of anger, he became cognizant of a small piece of folded +paper lying near his feet. He was about to pick it up and hand it to +the financier, when he was stayed by the reflection that it might have +dropped from his own pocket and examining it, read: + + "It's his wife's ring. I wore it along with some of her other + things. Ten years ago, he gave it to another woman, and his wife + found it out and he had to buy it back. He is afraid his wife + will think he gave the ring away a second time. That is why I + dared give it to you. Make him give you a thousand. + + "The One You Didn't Give Away." + +Mr. Middleton put the note in his pocket, and the eminent capitalist +having ceased pacing and standing gazing at him, he remarked: + +"Certain reasons, such as preventing an altercation with your wife +over her suspicions that you had not lost the ring, but had disposed +of it as on a former occasion ten years since." + +"Young man, you cannot blackmail me. My wife knows all about that. The +knowledge of that occurrence is worthless as a piece of blackmail." + +"As blackmail, yes; but not worthless as an indication of the extent +you desire to regain possession of the ring. Your wife knows of your +former escapade and that is gone and past. But the present +disappearance of the ring will cause her to think you have repeated +the escapade. This knowledge of certain conditions causes me to see +that my services in securing and delivering the ring are worth one +thousand dollars. Upon the payment of that sum, cash, I hand you the +ring." + +The distinguished money-king gave Mr. Middleton a very black look and +then left the room to return almost immediately with a thousand +dollars in bills, which Mr. Middleton counted, placed in his vest +pocket, and forthwith delivered the ring. As he did so, yielding to +the pride with which the successful outcome of his tilt with the great +capitalist inflamed him, he remarked with a condescension which the +suavity of his tones could not conceal: + +"Had you, sir, employed in this affair the perspicacity you have +displayed on so many notable occasions, it would have occurred to you +that this ring, being of a common pattern, could be duplicated for +seven hundred dollars and so you be saved both money and worry." + +A look of admiration overspread the face of the eminent manipulator, +and grasping Mr. Middleton's hand with great fervor, he exclaimed: + +"A man after my own heart. I am always ready to acknowledge a defeat. +You have good stuff in you. I must know you better. You must stay and +have a glass of champagne with me. I will get it myself," and he +hurried out of the room. + +In the state of Wisconsin, from which Mr. Middleton hailed, there is a +great deal of the alcoholic beverage, beer, but such champagne as is +to be found there is all due to importation, since it is not native to +the soil, but is brought in at great expense from France, La Belle +France, and New Jersey, La Belle New Jersey. Mr. Middleton had seen, +smelled, and tasted beer, but champagne was unknown to him save by +hearsay, and his improper curiosity and his readiness to succumb to +temptation caused him to linger in the salon of Mr. Crecelius, thereby +nearly accomplishing his ruin. Suddenly there was a patter of light +steps across the floor, a hand fell lightly on his shoulder and a +voice lightly on his ear. + +"You made him raving mad when you said what you did. He telephoned the +police. Now he has gone for the wine and will try to hold you until +they come." + +"But he cannot arrest me. I have done nothing," said Mr. Middleton, +his heart going pit-a-pat, in spite of the boldness of his words. + +"He can make all sorts of trouble for you. Even if you did come out +all right in the end, think of the trouble. Come, come quick!" + +A soft hand had grasped one of his and he was up and away, following +his fair guide up stairs, through the house, and down into the +kitchen. + +"I have recovered my wits a bit," said Mr. Middleton. "He is so angry +that he has no thought but immediate vengeance, and so accordingly +telephones the police, and if they were to catch me here, it certainly +would be bad. But to-morrow he will be in a mood to appreciate the +good sense of the letter I shall send him, calling his attention to +the fact that if he arrests me, in the trial there must come out the +reason why I demanded one thousand dollars, the story of his domestic +indiscretion, and so he will not think of pursuing the matter +further." + +"It was very kind and very noble of you not to expose me," said the +young woman in a voice in which gratitude and sadness were mingled; +"and all the admiration and gratitude a woman can feel under such +circumstances, I feel toward you. To you I owe my continued good name +and even my very freedom. I know that marriage with such as you, is +not for such as me. I am going to ask you to give to her who would +have all, but expects and deserves nothing, the consolation of a kiss. +Whatever happy maiden may be so fortunate as to receive your love, I +shall have treasured in memory the golden remembrance that once my +preserver bestowed on me the symbol of love." + +Mr. Middleton looked down at the girl, supplicating for the favor her +sex is wont to deny, and he said to himself that seldom had he seen a +more flower-like face. Her lovely lips were already puckered in a rosy +pout, her hands raised ready to rest on his shoulders as he should +encircle her with his arms, when he noted with a start that her eyes, +snapping, alert, and eager, were bent not upon his face, but upon his +upper left hand vest pocket, where bulged the one thousand dollars in +bills. + +"I am more than honored and I shall be ravished with delight to +comply. But here, where we stand, we are exposed to view from three +sides. If Mr. Crecelius were to look in and see you being kissed by +me, whom he so dislikes, in what a bad plight you would be. Not even +for the exquisite pleasure of kissing you would I subject you to such +a danger. But in the shadow by the outer door, we would not be seen." + +As he said these words, Mr. Middleton placed the money in his inside +vest pocket, buttoned his vest, buttoned his inner coat, and buttoned +his overcoat, moving toward the outer door as he did so, the young +woman following him more and more slowly, the light in her eyes dying +with each successive buttoning. In fact, she did not enter into the +shadow at all, and Mr. Middleton stepped back a bit when he threw his +arms about her and pressed her to his bosom. Perfunctorily and coldly +did she yield to his embrace, but whatever ardor was lacking on her +part, was compensated for by Mr. Middleton, who clasped her with +exceeding tightness and showered kisses upon her pouting lips until +she pushed him from her, exclaiming with annoyance: + +"You've kissed me quite enough, you great big softy." + +Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when on the ensuing +evening he sat in the presence of the young lady of Englewood, nor did +he, when on the evening thereafter he once more sat in the presence of +the urbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of +delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of +Nora Sullivan and the Student of Heredity. + + + + +_The Adventure of Norah Sullivan and the Student of Heredity._ + + +It was the time of full moon. As the orb of day dropped its red, huge +disk below the western horizon, over the opposite side of the world, +the moon, even more huge and scarcely less red, rose to irradiate with +its mild beams the scenes which the shadows of darkness had not yet +touched. Miss Nora Sullivan, a teacher in the public schools of the +metropolis, sat upon the front porch of the paternal residence +enjoying the loveliness of the vernal prospect and the balm of the +air, for it was in the flowery month of June. Although the residence +of Timothy Sullivan was well within the limits of the municipality of +Chicago, one visiting at that hospitable abode might imagine himself +in the country. From no part of the enclosure could you, during the +leafy season, see another human habitation. A quarter of a mile down +the road to the east, the electric cars for Calumet could be seen +flitting by, but except at the intervals of their passing, there was +seldom anything to suggest that the location was part of a great city. +A quarter of a mile to the west, on the edge of a marsh--a situation +well suited to such culture--lived a person engaged in the raising of +African geese. As it is probable that you may never have heard of +African geese, I will tell you that they are the largest of their +tribe and that specimens of them often weigh as high as seventy +pounds. + +The person engaged in the culture of African geese was Wilhelm +Klingenspiel, a man of German ancestry, but born in this country. Miss +Sullivan had often heard of him, she had even partaken of the left leg +of an African goose, which leg he had given Mr. Sullivan for the +Sunday dinner, but she had never seen him. As Wilhelm Klingenspiel was +young and single and as no other man of any description lived in the +vicinity, it is not strange that Nora, who was also young and single, +should sometimes fall to thinking of Mr. Klingenspiel and wonder what +manner of man he was. + +On this evening so attuned to romantic reveries, when the flowers, the +birds, and all nature spoke of love, more than ever did Nora +Sullivan's thoughts turn toward the large grove of trees to the +westward in the midst of which Wilhelm Klingenspiel had his home and +carried on his pleasant and harmless vocation of raising African +geese. The evening song of the geese, tempered and sweetened by +distance, came to her, accompanied by the most extraordinary booming +and racketing of frogs which is to be heard outside of the tropical +zone; for not only did Klingenspiel raise the largest geese on this +terraqueous globe, but having, as a means of cheapening the cost of +their production, devoted himself to the increasing of their natural +food, by principles well known to all breeders he had developed a +breed of frogs as monstrous among their kind as African geese are +among theirs. By these huge batrachians was an extensive marsh +inhabited, and battening upon the succulent nutriment thus afforded, +the African geese gained a size and flavor which was rapidly making +the fortune of Wilhelm Klingenspiel. + +Nora had often meditated upon plans for making the acquaintance of +Wilhelm, but it was plain that he was either very bashful or so +immersed in his pursuits as to be indifferent to the charms of woman, +for he had never made an attempt to see Nora in all the six months she +had been his neighbor, and she was well worth seeing. + +Accordingly, she decided that if she did not wish to indefinitely +postpone making the acquaintance of the poulterer, she must take the +initiative. Timothy Sullivan was a market gardener. Klingenspiel was +not the only man in the neighborhood who grew big things. Mr. Sullivan +was experimenting upon some cabbages of unusual size. He had started +them in a hothouse during the winter. Later transferred to the garden, +they had attained an amplitude such as few if any cabbages had ever +attained before. In the pleasant light of the moon, even now was he +engaged with the cabbages, pouring something upon them from a watering +pot. As she watched her father, it occurred to Nora that she could +find no more suitable excuse for visiting Mr. Klingenspiel than in +carrying him some present in return for the goose's left leg he had +presented her family for a Sunday dinner, and that there was no more +appropriate present than one of the great cabbages. + +No sooner had her father gone in than, selecting the largest cabbage, +she started off with it, putting it in a small push-cart, as it was so +large as to be too heavy and inconvenient to carry. It was somewhat +late to call, but the evening was so delightful that Wilhelm +Klingenspiel could hardly have gone to bed. Proceeding on her way, as +the road passed into the swampy land of Klingenspiel's domain, her +attention was engaged by the fact that a most singular commotion was +taking place among the giant batrachians at some remote place south of +the road. Their ordinary calls had increased both in volume and +frequency, and at intervals she heard the sound of crashing in the +brake and brush, as if some objects of unheard of size were falling +into the marsh. Looking in the direction whence the sounds came, she +saw indistinct and vague against the night sky, an enormous rounded +thing rise in the air and descend, whereupon was borne to her another +of the strange crashings. These inexplicable sounds and the +inexplicable sight would have frightened Miss Sullivan had she not the +resources with which modern science fortifies the mind against +credulity and superstition. The round object, she told herself, was +some sudden puff of smoke on a railway track far beyond; the crashing +was the shunting of cars, which things, coming coincidentally with a +battle of the frogs, to an ignorant mind would appear to be a +phenomenon in the immediate vicinity. Bearing in mind that this +seemingly real, but impossible, phenomenon could only be due to a +fortuitous concatenation of actual occurrences, Nora was not disturbed +in her mind. Leaving her cart some little distance up the road, in +order that she might not be seen in the undignified position of +pushing it, she walked into Klingenspiel's front yard, bearing her +gift. + +The two-story white house of Wilhelm Klingenspiel seemed to be +deserted. Despite the genial season, every door was shut, and so was +every window, so far as Nora could see, for if any windows were open +down stairs, at least the blinds were shut. There were no blinds in +the second story. Looking around in no little disappointment, she was +astonished to see a row of sheds and fences in rear of the house had +been demolished as if struck by a cyclone and that a goodly sized barn +had departed from its normal position and with frame intact was lying +on its side like a toy barn tipped over by a child. As she was gazing +upon this ruinage and striving to conjecture what had caused it, she +heard a voice, muffled and strange, yet distinctly audible, saying: + +"Ribot is running amuck, Ribot is running amuck," and looking up she +beheld, darkly visible against the panes of an upper story window, a +human form. As she looked, the form disappeared and presently a person +rushed from the front door, hauled her into the house and upstairs, +where she found herself still holding her cabbage and observing a +short man of a full habit, with a round moon face, illuminated by a +large pair of spectacles that sustained themselves with difficulty +upon a very snub nose. He was nearly bald, yet nevertheless of a +kindly, studious, and astute appearance. One did not need to look +twice to see that Wilhelm Klingenspiel was a scholar. + +"What--what--what is the matter?" exclaimed Nora. + +"Ribot is running amuck." + +"Who is Ribot?" + +Klingenspiel was about to answer, when the whole air was filled with +what one would have called a squeal if it had been one fiftieth part +so loud, and over a row of willow bushes across the road leapt an +astounding great creature, twice as large as the largest elephant, and +Nora began to realize that her scientific deductions regarding the +phenomenon in the swamp had been utterly erroneous. The creature was +of an oblong build, rounded in contour, and its hide was marked by +large blotches of black and rufous yellow upon a ground of white. With +extreme swiftness the creature scurried down the road, its legs being +so short in proportion to its body and moving with such twinkling +rapidity that it seemed to be propelled upon wheels. The appearance of +this strange monster and the appalling character of its squealing, +caused Nora to tremble like a leaf, but the animal having departed, a +laudable curiosity made her forget her fears, and she asked: + +"What is it?" + +"That was Ribot." + +"Who and what is Ribot?" + +"Ribot was a celebrated French scientist, an authority on the subject +of heredity. You doubtless know something of the subject, how certain +traits appear in families generation after generation. Accidental +traits, if repeated for two or three generations, often become +inherent traits. To show you to what a strange extent this is true, I +will call your attention to the case of the ducal house of Bethune in +France, where three successive generations having had the left hand +cut off at the wrist in battle, the next three generations were born +without a left hand." + +The erudite dissertation of Wilhelm Klingenspiel was here interrupted +by the reappearance of the mottled monster, who, with a scream that +filled the blue vault of heaven, rushed into the yard and paused +before a mighty oak, whose sturdy trunk had stood rooted in that soil +before the city of Chicago existed, before the United States was born, +when Cahokia was the capital of Illinois and the flag of France waved +over the great West. The flash of terrible white teeth showed in the +moonlight as the monster gnawed at the base of the tree a few times +and with a crash its leafy length lay upon the ground. Contemplating +for a brief space the ruin it had wrought, the monster emitted another +of its appalling screams and was off once more on its erratic, aimless +course. + +"What in the world is this awful creature?" cried Nora. + +"The subject of heredity," resumed Klingenspiel, "is one of vast +importance, and although its principles are well understood, man has +hitherto not touched the possibilities that can be accomplished. The +span of a man's life is so short that in selecting and breeding choice +strains of animals, an individual can see only a comparatively small +number of generations succeed each other. Suppose some one family had +for two hundred years carried on continuous experiments in breeding +any race of animals. What remarkable results would have been attained! +Behold what remarkable results are attained in raising varieties of +plants, where the swiftness of succeeding generations enables man to +accomplish what he seeks in a very short time. Observing the +difficulties that confront the animal breeder and wishing to see in my +own lifetime certain results that might ordinarily be expected only in +a duration of several lifetimes, I sought an animal which came to +maturity rapidly, whose generations succeeded each rapidly. At the +same time, I wanted an animal comparatively highly organized, a +mammal, not a reptile." + +At this point, his instructive discourse was interrupted by the +reappearance of the monster, which charged into the yard with its nose +to the ground, following some scent, sniffing so loudly that the sound +was plainly audible despite the closed window. After having hastened +about the yard for a few moments it was off up the road to the +eastward, still with nose to the ground, until coming to the push cart +left at the roadside by Nora, it examined it carefully and then with a +sudden access of unaccountable rage, fell upon it and demolished it, +beating and chewing it into bits. + +Whatever celerity this terrible beast had exhibited before, was now +completely eclipsed, as with nose to the ground, it rushed back to the +yard, straight to the house, and rearing on its hinder quarters, +placed its forelegs on the porch roof, which gave way beneath the +ponderous weight. Not disconcerted by the removal of this support, the +monster continued to maintain its sitting posture, looking in the +window at the terrified persons beyond, snapping and gnashing its huge +jaws in a manner terrible to hear and still more terrible to +contemplate. Nora was partially reassured by observing that the +animal's head was too wide to go through the window, but the hopes +thus raised were dashed by Klingenspiel moaning: + +"He'll gnaw right through the house, he'll chew right through the +roof. He'll get in. He has smelled that big cabbage and he'll get in." + +"In that case," remarked Nora, with decision, "I'll not wait for him +to come in to get the cabbage, but throw it out to him," and raising +the window, thrust out the cabbage, which having caught with a +deftness unexpected in a creature of its bulk, the beast retired a +short space and proceeded to eat with every appearance of enjoyment. + +"In Paris, a few years ago," resumed Klingenspiel, "one of the learned +faculty that lend a well deserved renown to the medical department of +that ancient institution, the University of Paris, discovered an +elixir which used during the period of human growth--and even +after--causes the stature to increase. By depositing an increased +supply of the matter necessary to the formation of bones, the frame +increases and the fleshy covering grows with it. You have doubtless +read of this in the papers, as I have seen it mentioned there recently +myself----" + +"I beg your pardon," interrupted Nora, "but I must know what that +monster is. Please do not keep me in suspense any longer." + +"Allow me to develop my discourse in its natural sequence," said +Klingenspiel. "I learned of this elixir at the time its originator +first formulated it and as we were friends, I secured from him the +formula----" + +"What is that animal?" cried Nora, seizing Klingenspiel's ear with a +dexterity born of long experience in educational work, and lifting him +slowly toward a position upon the points of his toes. + +"A guinea pig, a guinea pig, a guinea pig," howled the student of +heredity. + +"You guinea, you," exclaimed Nora in incredulous amazement, and yet as +she looked at the monster, which having finished the cabbage was +crouching contentedly between two huge elms, she was struck by the +familiarity of the markings and contour of the tremendous brute. +Turning in such wise that of the appendices of his countenance it +should be his short and elusive nose instead of his ears presented +toward the grasp of the expert in the science of pedagogy, +Klingenspiel continued. + +"Generations of guinea pigs succeed each other in less than three +months. In less than ten months, a pair of guinea pigs become +great-grandfather and great-grandmother. In a few years, heredity +could here do what a century of breeding horses could not. I treated a +pair of young guinea pigs with the elixir. Their growth was wonderful. +Their children inherited the size of their parents and to this the +elixir added, and so on, cumulatively, for successive generations. I +kept only a single pair out of each brood and disposed of that pair as +soon as the next generation became grown. I did this partly because I +could thus conduct my experiment with greater secrecy. Besides, after +the guinea pigs were large enough, I found considerable profit in +selling their hides for leather. Unfortunately, the animal is unfit +for food. My labors, therefore, were bent upon creating a breed of +draught animals, creatures greater than elephants and with the agility +of guinea pigs. A team of these guinea pigs would outstrip the fastest +horse, though hauling a load of tons. The hide, too, would be +extremely valuable. I had at last reached a size beyond which I did +not care to go. Ribot and his mate were twice the bulk of elephants. I +was now ready to establish a herd. But alas! Two days ago, the mate +died. All my labors were for nothing. I had only the one enormous male +left. All the connecting links between him and the first small +ancestors are gone. But worse. As is often the case with male +elephants when the mate dies, Ribot went mad, ran amuck. Hitherto +docile and kind, as is the nature of the _Cavia cobaya_, vulgarly +called guinea pig, this evening Ribot became as you have seen him. I +have lost my labors. Momentarily I expect to lose my life." + +"What's the matter with it now? Look at it, look at it," exclaimed +Nora. + +Ribot had rolled on his back and after giving a few feeble twitches of +his great legs, remained without life, his legs pointing stiffly into +the air. + +"He is dead," said Klingenspiel, and Nora was unable to tell whether +relief and joy or regret and despair predominated in this utterance. +"Ribot is dead. Our lives are saved, my experiment is ruined." + +Turning toward Nora and scrutinizing her attentively for the first +time, he remarked, "How white your face is. The strain has been a +dreadful one. It has driven all the color away from you." And then +letting his eyes wander over her person until they paused upon her +hands resting in the moonlight upon the top of the sash, "and how +green your hands are. What can it be? Paris green," he said after a +close examination. "It was that which killed Ribot." + +"I remember now. Father was sprinkling something on them. It is +cabbage worm time." + +"I hope you will allow me to call," said Klingenspiel, and Nora +graciously assenting, he continued: "I admire your beauty, I admire +your many admirable qualities of head and heart, but above all, your +decision, your great decision." + +"Oh, I don't think I showed much decision just because I threw the +cabbage out." + +"I referred to your taking my ear and learning, out of its due order +in the thesis I was expounding, what manner of beast Ribot was. Ribot +killed two of my best African geese. They are, however, still fit for +food. I am going to beg your acceptance of one." + +"We will have it for dinner to-morrow," said Nora, "and you must come +over." + +"I shall be pleased to do so," said Klingenspiel, and that was the +beginning of a series of visits to the home of Timothy Sullivan that +resulted in the marriage of Miss Nora and Wilhelm Klingenspiel. The +latter still raises African geese there in the vicinity of Stony +Island, but he has made no more experiments with guinea pigs, for his +wife will not hear to it. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fourth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"What an unpleasant surprise it must have been to Klingenspiel," +remarked the emir, when he had completed his narration, "to find all +his fine experimenting in the science of heredity merely resulting in +nearly accomplishing his own death." + +"His experience is not unique," said Mr. Middleton. "There is many an +economic, social, political, or industrial change which is inaugurated +with the highest hopes only to slay its author in the end." + +"We should indeed be careful what waves we set in motion, what forces +we liberate," said the emir thoughtfully. "And I have been, too. I +have in my possession a constant reminder to be cautious in all my +enterprises and undertakings--a monitor forever bidding me think of +the consequences of an action, weigh its possible results. It has been +in my family for generations. I believe that our house has learned the +lesson. I would be glad to give it to some one who, perchance, has +not. If it so happens that you are in no need of such a warning, you +can perhaps present it to some one else who is." And having said a few +words to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, the blackamore brought to +him a small case and, from the midst of wrappings of dark green silk, +he produced a flask of burnished copper that shone with the utmost +brilliance. Handing this to Mr. Middleton and that gentleman viewing +it in silence for some time and exhibiting no other emotion than a +mild curiosity, largely due to its great weight, a ponderosity +altogether out of proportion to its size, the emir exclaimed in a loud +voice: + +"Do you know what you are holding?" and without waiting for an answer +from his startled guest, continued: "Observe the inscription upon the +side and the stamp of a signet set upon the seal that closes the +mouth." + +"I perceive a number of Arabic characters," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Arabic!" said the emir. "Hebrew. You are looking upon the seal of the +great Solomon himself and that is the prison house of one of the two +evil genii whom the great king confined in bottles and cast into the +sea. In that collection of chronicles which the Feringhis style the +Arabian Nights, you have read of the fisherman who found a bottle in +his net and opened it to see a quantity of dark vapor issue forth, +which, assuming great proportions, presently took form, coalesced into +the gigantic figure of a terrible genii, who announced to his +terrified liberator that during his captivity, he had sworn to kill +whomsoever let him out of the bottle. This well-known occurrence and +stock example of the necessity of being careful of the possible +results of one's acts, is so familiar to you as to make its further +relation an impertinence on my part. Suffice it to say, in cause you +have forgotten a minor detail, there was another genii and another +bottle in the sea beside the one found by the fisherman. + +"The second bottle in some unknown way came into the possession of +Prince Houssein, brother of my great-grandfather's great-grandfather, +Nourreddin. This latter prince having need of a certain amount of +coin--which was very scarce in Arabia at that time and of great +purchasing power, trade being carried on by barter--sent to his +brother a request for a loan. The country was in a very disturbed +state at that time and Houssein dispatched two messengers at an +interval of a day apart. The first of these was robbed and killed. He +bore a letter, concealed in his saddle, and the money. The second +messenger came in entire safety with that bottle, for no one could be +desirous of trifling with anything so fraught with danger as that +prison house of the terrible genii. What was the purport of this +strange gift has never been guessed. The letter borne by the murdered +man doubtless explained. Houssein himself perished of plague before +Nourreddin could learn from him." + +Mr. Middleton sat holding the enchanted bottle very gingerly. If he +had not feared to give offence to the emir, he would have declined the +gift, for while not for one moment did he dream that a demoniac +presence fretted inside that shining copper, he did believe that it +contained some explosive, or what would be more probable, some +mephitic substance that gave off a deadly vapor. So, fully resolved to +throw the bottle into the river and being very heedful of Achmed's +injunction not to let the leaden plug bearing Solomon's seal be +removed from the mouth, he placed the gift in his pocket and having +thanked the emir for his entertainment and instruction and the gift, +he departed. + +When Mr. Middleton had stepped into the street, he altered his +resolution to immediately dispose of the bottle. He was tired and did +not care to walk to the river. Nor did he wish to ride there and +alight, spending two car fares to get home. So postponing until the +morrow the casting into the Chicago River of the unhappy genii who had +once reposed on the bottom of the Persian Gulf, he boarded a car for +home. + +The bulk and weight of the bottle sagging down his pocket and +threatening to injure the set of his coat, Mr. Middleton held his +acquisition on his knee. A tall, serious-looking individual was his +seat mate, who after regarding the bottle intently for some time, +addressed him in a low, but earnest voice. + +"Pray pardon my curiosity, but I am going to ask you what that queer +receptacle is." + +"It is the prison-house of a wicked genii, who was shut therein by +King Solomon, the magic influence of whose seal on the plug in the +mouth retains him within, for what resistance could the physical force +of those copper walls oppose to the strength of that mighty demon?" + +Of these words did Mr. Middleton deliver himself, though he knew they +must sound passing strange, but on the spur of the moment he could not +think what else to say and he hoped that the belief he would create +that his mind was affected would relieve him of further questioning, +for if put to it and pinned down, what could he say, what plausible +account could he give of the bottle? To his surprise, the stranger +gave no evidence of other than a complete acceptance of his statement +and continuing to make inquiries in a most respectful and courteous +way, Mr. Middleton felt he could not be less mannerly himself, and so +he related all he knew of the bottle, avowing his belief that it +contained some dangerous chemical, such as that devilish corroding +stuff known as Greek fire, or some deadly gas. + +"Your theory sounds reasonable," said the stranger; "and yet who +knows? That inscription certainly is Hebrew. At least, it is neither +English nor German. When one has studied psychic phenomena as long as +I have, he comes to a point where he is very chary of saying what is +not credible. Do I not, time and again, materialize the dead, calling +from the winds, the waters, and the earth the dispersed particles of +the corporeal frame to reclothe for a little time the spiritual +essence? Could not the great Solomon do as much? Is it not possible +that that great moral ensamplar, guide, saint, and prophet has +imprisoned in that bottle some one of the Pre-Adamite demons? I am not +afraid to open the bottle, on the contrary, would be glad to do so. I +am a clairvoyant and trance-medium, with materialization as a +specialty. My name is Jefferson P. Smitz. Here is my card. I have a +seance to-morrow night. Bring your bottle then, and I will open it. +The price of admission is," he said, with a glance of tentative +scrutiny, "one dollar," at which information Mr. Middleton, looking +unresponsive, uninterested, not to say sulky, he continued: "but as +you will bring such an important and interesting contribution to the +subject of inquiry for the evening, we will make the admission for you +only fifty cents, fifty cents." + +On the following evening, Mr. Middleton and his bottle sat among a +circle of some thirty persons who were gathered in the gloomy, +lofty-ceiled parlor of Mr. Smitz. Before forming the circle, Mr. Smitz +had addressed the company in a few well-chosen words, saying that a +like purpose had brought all there that night, that as votaries of +science and devotees of truth and persons of culture and refinement, +mutual acquaintance could not but be pleasant as well as helpful, +enabling those who sat together while witnessing the astounding and +edifying phenomena they were soon to behold, to discuss these +phenomena with reciprocal benefit--in view of all this, he hoped +everybody would consider themselves introduced to everybody else. + +Mr. Middleton, quickly inspecting the assemblage, whom he doubtless +with great injustice denominated a crowd of sober dubs and solemn +stiffs, so maneuvered that when all had drawn their chairs into a +circle, a man deaf in the right ear sat at his left, while at his +right sat a tall young lady, who though slightly pale was of an +interesting appearance, notwithstanding. The somewhat tragic cast of +her large and classic features was intensified by a pair of great +mournful eyes and a wistful mouth, the whole framed in luxuriant +masses of black hair, and altogether she was a girl whom one would +give a second and third glance anywhere. + +It developing in their very first exchange of remarks that she had +never been present at a seance and that she could not look forward to +what they were about to witness without great trepidation, Mr. +Middleton offered to afford her every moral support and such physical +protection as one mortal can assure another when facing the unknown +powers of another world. At the extinguishment of the gas, he took her +left hand, and finding it give a faint tremor, he took the other and +was pleased to note that, so far as her hands gave evidence, thereupon +her fears were quite allayed. + +A breeze, chill and dank as the breath of a tomb, blew upon the +company, and from the deep darkness into which they all stared with +straining, unseeing eyes, came the solemn sound of Mr. Smitz, speaking +hurriedly in somber tones in some sonorous unknown tongue, and low +rustlings and whirrs and soft footfalls and faint rattlings that grew +stronger, louder, each moment, swelling up into the stamp of a mailed +heel and the clangor of arms as Mr. Smitz scratched a match and the +light of a gas jet glanced upon helmet, corslet, shield, and greaves +of a brazen-armored Greek warrior, standing in the middle of the +circle, alive, in full corporeal presence! + +"Leonidas, hero of Thermopylae!" shouted Mr. Smitz, and then continued +at a conversational pitch, "if any of you wish to speak to him in his +own language, you have full permission to do so." + +Those present lacking either the desire to accost the dread presence, +or a command of the ancient Greek, after a bit Mr. Smitz turned off +the gas and the noises that had heralded the visitant's appearance +began in reverse order, and at their cease, the gas being turned on +again, there was the circle quite bare of any evidence that a Greek +warrior in full panoply had but now stood there. + +At these prodigies, the young lady trembled, but you could have +applied all sorts of surgical devices for measuring nerve reaction to +Mr. Middleton from the crown of his head to where his parallel feet +held between them the copper bottle, and not have detected a tremor. + +Mr. Smitz was reaching up to extinguish the gas once more, when a big, +athletic blonde man, whose appearance and garb proclaimed him an +Englishman, interrupted him. + +"I am going to request you to materialize the spirit with whom I wish +to converse, the next time. I have to catch a train at eleven and +there are a number of things I would like to do before that. +Yesterday, you promised me that you would materialize him first +thing." + +"Yesterday," said Mr. Smitz with a slight hauteur, "I could not look +forward and see that I was to have such a large and cultivated +gathering. You cannot, sir, ask to have your own mere personal +business, for business it is with you, take precedence of the +scientific quests of all these other ladies and gentlemen. I have +planned to materialize men of many nations, with whom all may converse +if they please; Confucius, the great Chinese; Caesar, the great Roman; +Mohammed, the great Turk; Powhattan, the great Indian, and others. +Your business must wait." + +"My friends," said the Englishman, appealing to the assemblage, "I +throw myself upon your good nature. My grandfather was the owner of a +small estate in Ireland. In a rebellion, the Irish burned every +building on the place and it has since been deserted. He had buried a +sum of money before he fled during the rebellion and we have a chart +telling where it was buried. But the chart referred to buildings and +trees that were subsequently utterly destroyed. We have no marks to +guide us. I am sadly in need of money. My grandfather's ghost could +tell me where the treasure is. I shall suffer financial detriment if I +do not catch the train at eleven and must attend to several matters +before that. You have heard my case. May I not ask you all to grant me +the indulgence of having my affair disposed of now?" + +Mr. Middleton and several others were about to endorse the justice of +the Englishman's request, when Mr. Smitz hastily forestalled them by +saying that all should be heard from and turning to four personages +who sat together at a point where the line of chairs of the circle +passed before a large and mysterious cabinet set in the corner of the +wall, and asking their opinion, they all four in one voice began to +object to any alteration of the program of the evening, adverting +somewhat to the Boer War, the oppressions in Ireland, and to the +Revolution and the War of 1812. When they had done, there was no one +who cared to say a word for the Englishman or an Englishman, and Mr. +Smitz announced that Confucius would be the next materialization and +that all might address him in his native tongue. Of this permission, a +small red-head gentleman, whose demeanor advertised him to be in a +somewhat advanced state of intoxication, availed himself and remarked +slowly: + +"Hello, John. Washee, washee? Sabe how washee? Wlanter be Melican +man?" + +To this the great sage vouchsafed no reply save a contemptuous stare, +and the red-headed gentleman observed that doubtless the Chinese +language had changed a good deal in two thousand years. All languages +did. + +From out the darkness under whose cover the Chinaman was modestly +divesting himself of his body, came the voice of Mr. Smitz, rich, +unctuous, saying: + +"The next visitant will be from that great race we all admire so much, +the noble race which has done so much to build up this country, which +in every field of American endeavor has been a guiding star to us all. +It gives me great pleasure to tell you that our next visitant from the +world beyond is that great soldier, statesman, and patriot, King Brian +Boru." + +"Who the devil wants to see that or any other paddy?" exclaimed the +voice of the Englishman, choleric, savage. "Let me out of this +blarsted, cheating hole. Who wants to see one of that race of +quarrelsome, thieving, wretched rapscallions?" + +Whack! Smash! Bang! Crash! The assemblage was thrown into a pitiable +state of terror by a most extraordinary combat and tumult taking place +somewhere in the circle. The remonstrances of Mr. Smitz and the oaths +of the Englishman rose against the general din of the expostulations +of the men and cries of the women. Match after match was struck by the +men, only to be blown out by some mysterious agency, after giving +momentary glimpses of the Englishman astride of a man on the floor, +pummelling him lustily, while Mr. Smitz pulled at the Englishman's +shoulders. At length the noise died away, the sound of some one +remonstrating, "let me at him oncet, let me at the spalpeen, he got me +foul," coming back from some remote region of the atmosphere, as under +the compelling force of the will of the great Smitz, the bodily +envelope of the Irish hero was dissipated and his soul went back to +the beyond. + +Then did a match reach the gas without being blown out. Beneath the +chandelier stood Mr. Smitz and the four personages who had sat before +the cabinet and had views on the Boer War. + +"What an awful, sacrilegious thing you have done," exclaimed Mr. +Smitz. "You have struck the dead." + +"He hit me first." + +"Your remarks about the Irish angered him. He could not restrain +himself." + +"Well, he couldn't whip me. Next time you materialize him, he'll show +a black eye. Let me out of here, you cheat, you imposter, you and your +pals, or I'll fix you as I did Brian Boru." + +Though the company did not take the Englishman's view, they were all +anxious to go. They were quite unstrung by what had occurred, this +combat between the living and the dead. They looked with horrified awe +at the spot where it had taken place. There stood the living +combatant, still full of the fire of battle. Him whom he had fought +was gone on the winds to the voiceless abodes of the departed, a +breath, a shadow, a sudden chill on the cheek and nothing more. For a +brief space resuming his old fleshly habitude, with it had come the +cholers and hatreds of the flesh and once more he avenged his +country's wrongs. + +"Say," said the Englishman, with a malign look on his face, as he +paused in the door, "if you've got that mick patched up any down in +the kitchen, I'll give him another chance, if he wishes. Tell him to +pick a smaller man next time." + +To this, Mr. Smitz made no reply, but flashed a look that would have +frozen any one less insolent and truculent than the Englishman. + +All this time Mr. Middleton had been very agreeably employed in a +corner of the room, for the young lady in an access of terror had +thrown herself into his arms and there she had remained during the +whole affrighting performance. To forerun any possible apprehension +that he was going to extricate himself and leave her, he held her with +considerable firmness, whispering encouragement into her ear the +while. Preparing to accompany her home, he had almost left the room +before he bethought him of the copper bottle, which he had abandoned +when springing up to get the young lady out of the circle and away +from danger. He soon found it lying against the wall, whither it had +rolled or been kicked during the melee. + +The young lady continuing to be in a somewhat prostrated state after +her late experience, on the way home Mr. Middleton supported her by +his right arm about her waist, while she found further stay by resting +her left arm across his shoulders, she being a tall young lady. Their +remaining hands met in a clasp of cheer and encouragement on his part, +of trusting dependence on hers. Arriving at her door in this fashion, +it was but natural for Mr. Middleton--who was a very natural young +man--to clasp her in a good-night embrace, but upon essaying to put +the touch of completion to these joys which a kiss would give, she +drew away her head, saying: + +"Why, how dare you, sir! I never met you before. Why, I haven't even +been formally introduced to you." + +Mr. Middleton humbly pleading for the salute, she continued to express +her surprise that he should prefer such a request upon no acquaintance +at all, that he should even faintly expect her to grant it, and so on, +all the while leaning languishing upon his breast with all her weight. +Whereupon Mr. Middleton lost patience and with incisive sarcasm he +began: + +"One would think that you who refuse this kiss were not the girl who +stands here within my arms, my lips saying this into her ears, her +cheek almost touching mine. Doubtless it is some one else. Pray tell +me, what great difference is there between kissing a stranger and +hugging him." + +At these brutal, downright words, leaving the poor young thing nothing +to say, no little pretence even to herself that she had guarded the +proprieties, had comported herself circumspectly, leaving her with not +even a little rag of a claim that she had conducted herself with +seemly decorum, she sprang from him and began to cry. Whatever the +cause, Mr. Middleton could not look upon feminine unhappiness with +composure and here where he was himself responsible, he was indeed +smitten with keen remorse and hastening to comfort her, gathered her +into his arms and there he was abasing and condemning himself and +telling her what a dear, nice girl she was--and kissing away her +tears. + +"Let me give you a piece of advice," he said, fifteen minutes later, +as he was about to release her and depart. "It is not best ever to let +a man hug you. Never," he said, pausing to imprint a lingering kiss +upon the girl's yielding lips, "never let a man kiss you again until +that moment when you shall become his affianced wife." + +Mr. Middleton departed in that serene state of mind which the +consciousness of virtue bestows, for he had given the young woman +valuable advice that would doubtless be of advantage to her in the +future and he reflected upon this in much satisfaction as he fared +away with the eyes of the young woman watching him from where she +looked out of the parlor window. + +Reaching into his right coat pocket to transfer the copper bottle to +the opposite pocket, in order that his coat might not be pulled out of +shape, as he grasped the neck, one of his fingers went right into the +mouth! The seal of Solomon was gone! A less resolute and quick-witted +person might have been alarmed, but reasoning that the seal must have +been knocked off during the fight at Mr. Smitz's and nothing had +happened since, he boldly examined the bottle. He could see a white +substance as he looked into it, and by the aid of a stick he fished +out a wad of wool tightly stuffed in the neck. A metallic chinking +followed the removal of the wadding and set his heart thumping +rapidly. He looked up and down the street. No one in sight. He tilted +the bottle up to the light of a street lamp and saw a yellow gleam. He +shook it and into his hands flowed a stream of gold sequins! He could +not sufficiently admire the ruse of Prince Houssein. Money on the +first messenger there had been none. + +In a center more given to numismatics, or had he been willing to wait +and sell the coins gradually, Mr. Middleton might have secured more +than he did for the gold pieces, all coined at Bagdad in the early +caliphates and very valuable. But he disposed of them in a lump to a +French gentleman on La Salle Street for fourteen hundred and +twenty-five dollars. + +Calling on the young lady of Englewood within the next few days, he +made no reference to these events, though she asked him several times +during the evening what he had been doing lately. He did, however, +hint at having profited by a certain fortunate "deal," as he called +it, but not a word did he say concerning the mournful girl or anything +remotely connected with her. + +Hesitating to hurt the emir's feelings by exposing the obtuseness of +his ancestor Noureddin and the foolish superstition of his descendants +ever since, Mr. Middleton said nothing of these transactions when once +more he sat in the presence of the urbane and accomplished prince of +the tribe of Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored +sherbet, the emir began the narration of The Pleasant Adventures of +Dr. McDill. + + + + +_The Pleasant Adventures of Dr. McDill._ + + +It was twelve o'clock on a blustery winter night and Dr. James McDill +was where a married man of forty ought to be at such an hour in that +season, sleeping soundly by the side of his beloved wife. But his wife +was not sleeping. At the stroke of the hour, she had suddenly awoke +from refreshing slumber and become aware of sounds as of persons +moving softly about the room, and after a little, seeing against the +windows faintly illuminated by a distant street light, two dark +figures, she perceived her ears had not deceived her. Shaking her +husband unavailingly for a considerable time, in her terror she +finally cast discretion to the winds and shouted: + +"Burglars, Jim, burglars!" + +Hardly had these words ceased, when the electric lights were turned on +and Dr. McDill sat up in bed to find himself staring into the muzzles +of three revolvers, held by two masked men, who stood looking over the +footboard. Bidding them move at their peril, the man with two +revolvers remained to guard the doctor and his wife, while the other +began to ransack the room. As he did so, he carried on an easy, if not +eloquent, dissertation upon the rights of man and the iniquitous +conditions which made it necessary for the poor and oppressed to +obtain by force, if they obtained at all, any share in the privileges +and riches of the wealthy. As he discoursed, at times carried away by +his theme, he gave over his search and paused to enforce his points +with earnest gestures. This caused the other robber some disquietude +and he cursed his compatriot and the doctor and his wife with a use of +epithets that will not bear repeating and which showed him to be none +other than a low ruffian. At last all the treasure in the room being +taken and the doctor being forced to accompany them and disclose the +repository of other valuables, the robbers took their departure. + +Some weeks after this, two persons suspected of being responsible for +certain robberies were taken into custody and the doctor called into +court to identify them if possible. + +"I noticed," said he, "that the shorter of the two masked men was +prone to gesticulation and that he had a fashion of holding his arms +close to his body, as if tied at the elbows, and with hands fully +open, fingers apart, thumbs extended, and palms upward, waving his +forearms----" + +At this juncture, the smile on the face of the defendant's counsel, +occasioned by thus putting his client upon his guard, was dispelled by +an angry exclamation from the person in question, and denying with +some loquacity and even more vociferation that he ever made such a +gesture, at the close of his statement, behold, he made the gesture! + +By the doctor's testimony was a chain of incriminating evidence +established that led to a sentence of ten years' imprisonment being +imposed upon the robbers. When he had heard the sentence, he of the +gestures turned fiercely toward the doctor and cried: + +"You'll be killed for this, like other dogs before you for the same +cause. If you're not killed before I am discharged or escape, I'll +kill you. But I am only one of many, a tried band who avenge;" and +hereupon he smote the rail in front of him, "Knock, knock--knock; +knock, knock--knock." And from several parts of the silent room came +answers, faint, but distinct, two quick taps, a pause, and a third, +then all repeated. "Tap, tap--tap; tap, tap--tap." + +The evidence of confederates, the quick response to the appeal of +their comrade, the taps that came from everywhere and nowhere, +manifestation of the desperate men surrounding him, might well have +daunted the soul of any man. Three sentences had been pronounced that +day, a term of years upon Jerry McGuire and Barry O'Toole, but death +upon James McDill. You may depend upon it that the doctor was none the +more reassured when on the morrow he learned that McGuire and O'Toole +had escaped. With their anger and resentment yet hot within them, +these men would doubtless at once set about to encompass his +destruction, and he knew that when once one of these societies had +decreed the death of a person who balked or incensed them, every +endeavor was used to put the decree into effect. But, after a little, +he took courage from the very fact that was most threatening. If these +men, these desperate and despicable scoundrels, could escape from the +barriers of stone and steel and the guardians that surrounded them, +why might not he fight for his life and win in the struggle which both +reason and instinct told him was inevitable? + +That those he loved most might not be involved in the perils he felt +certain he was about to encounter and that his resolution and his +movements might not be hampered by their presence and their fears, he +found means to persuade his wife to take the children for a visit to +their grandfather, and setting his affairs in order and providing +himself with two revolvers, a bowie knife, and an Italian stiletto, he +even began to look forward to the approaching struggle with something +of that pleasure which man experiences in the anticipation of any +contest; and there is indeed a certain keen zest in playing the game +where one's stake is one's life. + +On the evening of the day of his wife's departure, he was called to +assist in an operation at a hospital with which he had once been +connected, and unexpected complications arising, it was not until two +in the morning that he started away. His man and carriage, that he had +ordered to await him, had gone. The night was mild and it must have +been weariness or restiveness, that had caused the departure. Although +some distance lay between the hospital and his home, he started afoot. +Not a soul was to been seen in the street, which, thanks to the light +of the moon late rising in its last quarter, lay visible to his sight. +As he passed an alleyway, shortly after leaving the hospital, his +attention was attracted by the sound of snores, and he discovered a +man whose features were well shrouded in the upturned collar of an +ulster, seated with his back against a house wall, asleep. The man +stirred uneasily as he bent over him, but thinking it best not to +disturb him, the doctor passed on. As he did so, he became conscious +that the snores had ceased, and looking back, he beheld the man walk +drowsily across the sidewalk and finally stand gazing in the direction +of the hospital. The doctor began to hasten his steps, but ever and +anon glancing back, and presently he saw the man was now looking after +him, that he leaned to the right and leaned to the left, and stooped +down in his scrutinizing. Suddenly the man reached forward with a +cane, smote the sidewalk, "rap, rap--rap; rap, rap--rap," and taken up +on either side of the way, louder and louder as it came up the street +toward the now fleeing doctor, from sequestered nooks between +buildings, ran the fateful, hurrying volley of "rap, rap--rap; rap, +rap--rap." The last raps came right behind the doctor's heels at the +mouth of an alley he was clearing at a bound, and glancing back, he +saw a succession of men hurrying silently after him at all speed. He +was encumbered with a long ulster, while his pursuers, if they had +worn overcoats, had now cast them aside. The man just behind, +apparently did not wish to close in alone, preferring to allow others +to catch up and assist him, and at the second block the doctor could +hear two pairs of heels behind him and a third pair just beyond. The +pursuers were gaining. Though he would have to pause to do it, he must +throw off his overcoat. At the third corner, he tore at the long +garment, it swung under his feet, and he pitched headlong----. He +heard a cry of savage joy and a rush of feet, a sudden great soft +whirr, and he arose to see an automobile halted between him and his +pursuers. A gentleman of a rotund person, clothed in correct evening +dress and whose speech was of a thickness to indicate recent +indulgence in intoxicating liquors, alighted from the carriage. + +"I do not believe thish ish the place. No, thish ish not the place I +told you to come to, driver. I'm glad it isn't anyway, as I'm afraid +we're too drunk to sing a serenade. Here's another man as's drunk, +too. So drunk he fell down on hisself. Couldn't leave him here. Never +go back on a man as is drunk. Get in brother. Take you home with us. +Get in." + +It is needless to say that Dr. McDill responded to his invitation with +the greatest alacrity and gratitude. For the first time did the rotund +gentleman become aware that there were other persons present. Some +four of the doctor's pursuers had now gathered at the curb of the +crossing and the rest were coming thither, though with no great haste, +for they were gentry to whom caution was second nature and it was by +no means certain what the arrival of the automobile might portend. The +four at the curb, deterred from retreat by that sense of shame which +is not entirely absent even in the lowest and most depraved, were now +insistently giving their rap to incite their comrades to hasten. The +rotund gentleman walked around to that side of the carriage and gazed +at them with some degree of interest and curiosity. "Rap, rap--rap; +rap, rap--rap," went the sticks of the four and down the street came +answering raps and soon the four were joined by two more. + +"Don't let him go now, we've almost got him. We'd had him, if Red +hadn't gone to sleep and let him get by. Come on, come on." + +The six rushed at the carriage, whereat the rotund gentleman, with an +agility not to be looked for in one of his contour and condition, +received the foremost with smash, smash--smash, in each eye and on the +nose, and the second likewise, when bidding the driver be off, he +leaped into the carriage with his comrades. A single bullet whistled +after them as they whirled away. + +"Rap, rap--rap. I rapped 'em," said the rotund gentleman. "I always +did hate a knocker." + +With your permission I will here interpolate the remark that the +further adventures of the eminent surgeon with the mysterious +confederacy that sought his life, bore evidence that these depraved +and ruffianly men were not without a certain rude artistic temperament +as well as a tinge of romance, and a dramatic sense that many who +write for the stage might well envy them. + +The elation of the doctor over his escape from the toils of the +thieves was not of long duration. His breakfast was interrupted by a +call to the telephone and over the wires came to his startled ears a +hollow "knock, knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." At his office door +down town softly came "tap, tap--tap; tap, tap--tap," and snatch the +door open as hastily as he might, he saw nothing, heard nothing, heard +nothing but the electric bells on the floors above and floors below +calling for the elevator: "buzz, buzz--buzz; buzz, buzz--buzz." He +walked along State Street at the busy hour of noon and all about him +in the throngs was the dull impact of canes upon the pavement, "thud, +thud--thud; thud, thud--thud." As he rode home in the street car at +nightfall, back of him in the train at street corner after corner he +heard passengers jingle the bell for stopping, "ding, ding--ding; +ding, ding--ding." + +Although Dr. McDill was a man of great native resolution and intrepid +in the face of known and seen dangers, the horrors of the invisible +forces of death everywhere surrounding him so wore at his soul that he +returned down town and spent the night at a hotel. On the morrow, he +severely condemned himself for this yielding to fear, for on the front +steps of his house lay the dead form of his great watch dog, Jacques. +There were evidences of a struggle in which the assailants had not +been unscathed. Bits of cloth lay about and examining the stains of +blood that plentifully blotched the walk, he discovered that some of +it was human blood. + +"Ah," he said, in deep self-reproach, "if I had stayed here as I +should, I would have been able to fight with poor Jacques and brought +low some of my enemies. How easily I could have fired from the upper +windows as Jacques made their presence known. It is evident that the +noise of the struggle was so great that the fiends were afraid to +continue the attack and ran away." + +Philosophers and poets have found a theme for dissertation in the fact +that the dog leaves his own kindred to dwell with man and fights them +in behalf of his master. It has ever seemed to me that this were but +half of the tale, for full many a man loves his dog better than the +rest of mankind, and so the devotion of the race of dogs finds return +and recompense. Outside his own family, there was no living thing in +the city of Chicago which had so dwelt in the affections of Dr. McDill +as the dog Jacques. Of the truth of this, he had had but dim +realization until now and he was like to burst with sorrow and with +hatred of the vile beings who had marked him and his for slaughter. +Lifting the stiff form of his humble comrade, for the first time did +he observe a poniard thrust in the poor beast's throat. The blade +impaled a piece of paper and upon it was written the word "Knock." + +"Knock!" cried the doctor: "but henceforth it shall be I that knock. +Hasten the time when we may meet, malignant knaves. Never again shall +I avoid you. Henceforth, I go about my business as before, for it is +thus that I may expect the sooner to encounter you." + +An urgent matter would require the doctor's presence in the +municipality of Evanston that night. He could not expect to return +before twelve o'clock in the morning and of this informing the cook, +who in the temporary reduction of the family carried on the household +without the aid of a second girl, he departed northward. It was past +the hour of one when he let himself in the front door of his +residence. A pleasant savor of various viands saluted his nostrils and +in the drawing-room he observed that the chairs and tables had all +been thrust against the wall as if to clear the floor for dancing. In +the dining-room, the evidence of recent festivity was complete, for +the table was covered with the remnants of a sumptuous repast. No +words were needed to tell him that Olga Blomgren, the cook, had taken +advantage of the foreknowledge of his absence to entertain a wide +circle of friends; but here indeed was a mystery. Why had she not set +everything in order and removed all traces of the entertainment? He +moved toward the kitchen in wonder and--his heart stood still. The +beams of the lamp held above his head were shot back by the gleam of +blue and white satin, his wife's favorite ball dress on the kitchen +floor. But it was not his wife's fair hair and snowy shoulders that, +rising out of the glistening blue and white, were striped with a +glistening red, but the snowy shoulders and fair hair of poor Olga +Blomgren. Thus had she paid for her hour of magnificence. Thus had +death cut her down because the maid's form was of the same statuesque +beauty as her mistress's. Tenderly the doctor stooped to lift up the +dead girl, stricken in her mistress's stead. There was a poniard in +her throat, and it impaled a piece of paper upon which was written +"Knock." + +"Knock, knock--" the next knock would be upon his own heart. + +Whatever design the doctor had held of not appealing to the police for +protection against his invisible foes, his affairs had now reached a +point where the intervention of the officers of the law could no +longer be avoided. Poor Jacques could be consigned to earth without +the intervention of priest or police, but the murder of Olga was a +matter for official investigation. With that crafty and subtle way the +astute sleuths of the Chicago constabulary have of informing the +public through the intermediary of the press of all measures projected +against evil-doers, of moves to be made, of arrests to be attempted, +all citizens were in possession of the fact that owing to the +startling plot just brought to light, all gatherings and coteries of +men, especially at late hours, were to be watched, investigated, and +made to give accounts of themselves. Dr. McDill fumed at the turn +affairs had taken. That the confederacy of thieves would abandon their +attempts upon his life, was not to be dreamed of. But they would +forego the pleasure of witnessing his death in the presence of all +assembled together. They would now delegate the attack to a single +individual, and in event of his death, he could hope to carry with him +but one of his enemies. + +Again was Dr. McDill called to the hospital for a night operation. +Leaving his driver without, he cautioned him. + +"August, I don't want you to be fooled the way you were before. If any +man comes out of the hospital and says I send word for you to drive +home without waiting for me, pay no attention to him. Take no orders +from anybody but me." + +"All right. They can't fool me vonce again already." + +But when a cab drove up and let out a tall gentleman in a silk hat, +who went into the hospital, and after a little the cab driver, a +friendly and talkative person of Irish extraction, offered August a +flask full of a beverage also of Irish extraction, August took a +drink. + +"He told me not to take no orders yet already from nobody but him. But +he didn't say nothin' about takin' a drink vonce." + +"Take a drink twice, then, Hans," said the person of Irish extraction, +"already, yet, and by and by, too." + +It was all of four hours later that Dr. McDill stepped out of the +hospital door. He paused under the light of the globe over the porch +and examining a large bag of water-proof silk, he thrust therein a +sponge upon which he poured the contents of a small phial, after +which, seeing that a noose of string that closed the mouth of the bag +was not entangled, he strode briskly toward his buggy. The side +curtains were on and consequently the interior was in a dark shadow. +Pausing a moment on the step, as if to arrange his overcoat, he made a +quick, dexterous movement toward the person in the carriage and, +throwing the bag over his head, pulled the noose. A terrific blow +struck the doctor in the breast, but the arm that struck it fell +powerless before it could be repeated and the striker lurched forward +on the dashboard in the utter limpness of complete insensibility. + +"It is not August," said the doctor, straightening up the hooded +figure and taking the reins. "How well was my precaution taken! I +believe that was the last knock that any member of that band of +diabolical assassins will ever strike." + +In the private laboratory of his own home, the doctor sat facing his +captive, whom, after binding hand and foot, he had restored to his +senses. The outlaw was the first to break the silence. + +"You've got me and you think you'll do me," said the outlaw, with a +succession of oaths and vile epithets it would be needless as well as +improper for me to repeat. "But if you harm me, my friends will more +than pay you up for it, just as they have everybody that crossed +them." + +"Your friends are of a mind to kill me, whatever befall. Sparing or +killing you, will in nowise affect their purpose. Whatever may come +to-morrow, to-night you must obey my commands." + +"I won't do a thing you tell me to. I don't have to, see? My friends +will look for you just as soon as I don't turn up, and it will go hard +with you." + +"Just as soon as you do not turn up with the news you have killed me. +We'll see whether you will do what I tell you to." + +"You dassen't kill me. You're afraid to kill me. My friends would fix +you and the law would get you, if they did not." + +"Your profession relies upon the forbearance and softheartedness of +the public. You know that those you rob hesitate to shoot. No such +hesitation hampers you. It is part of your stock in trade to keep the +public terrorized. You kill all who disobey your orders, for if people +began to resist you successfully you must needs go out of business. +Did all put aside their repugnance to shed blood and kill your kind as +they would wolves, we would have no more of you." + +"You dassen't kill me, you dassen't kill me," cried the robber. It was +the snarl of the wild beast, hopelessly held in the toils. + +"It is true that I hesitate to kill. I am not proud of this +hesitation, for the trend of the best medical and sociological thought +is now toward the execution of all degenerates and criminals, that +they may not contaminate the race with descendants. However, my office +is to save life and I cannot do otherwise. But I am a surgeon, and +every day I do things in the effort to save and prolong life that to a +layman are repulsive and awful, more revolting to him than the sight +of bloodless death itself. From the taking of human life I draw back. +But no repugnance, no horror, unsteadies my hand elsewhere. The end of +the crimes of your devilish confederacy has come. The law has not +restrained you, could not. Your own unparalleled wickedness has +delivered you into my hands. Many a man have you brought low, many a +family have you desolated. Widows and orphans cry out against you, and +not in vain. I shall so knock your gang that never again shall one of +you harm even the weakest. You shall all live, but it shall be your +prayer, if you black hearts can utter prayer, that you be dead." + +The outlaw's tongue moved thickly in a mouth that dried suddenly at +these solemn words of the doctor. "You can't do it, you can't do it, +you can't do it, you duffer----" and his voice rumbled on in a long +string of imprecations. + +The doctor seized him and carrying him to the cellar, lay him against +the coal bin. Then the captive heard him in a room above engaged upon +some sort of carpentry, and whether it was the captive's imagination, +or design of the doctor, or whether unconsciously the doctor's mind +had become possessed, the sounds of the hammer as it drove nails and +struck pieces of wood into place echoed in the cellar; "knock, +knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." Soon the stairs groaned under the +weight of the doctor carrying some great contrivance, and the outlaw +found himself lying stretched out upon some sort of operating chair, +his ankles held in a pair of stocks below, his outstretched arms held +by the wrists in a pair of stocks above. All was black in the cellar, +all but where a single blood red bar of light from the open door of +the furnace fell upon the doctor turning at the winch of the bed of +torture upon which lay the robber. + +Hardly ten turns did he make, for at the first little twinges of pain, +premonishing the agonies to come, the caitiff chattered in terror +promises to do all the doctor should order, and so was released. +Cringing and fawning, the outlaw heard what he was required to do. He +was to write a letter. In this, he was to tell of the method of his +capture. He was to say he was confined in a second-story room, feet +and hands shackled, and that he was also chained to a staple in the +floor. (That this all might be true, the doctor took him to a +second-story room and so fettered him.) He found himself able to use +his hands to write, and, happily, discovered writing material and +stamps upon a table. He would write a letter and throw it on the porch +below, where perhaps the postman would find it and send it to its +destination. He asked help. His friends must come that night. The +doctor would be on guard, and who could say he would not call in +others? The doors and windows were all well secured, all but a cellar +window on the east side. (Of this, the doctor informed him, that he, +the doctor, might not be guilty of instigating the writing of anything +that was false in any particular.) They must enter by this window. The +door leading above stairs from the cellar could be easily forced and +the noise thus occasioned could not be heard outside of the house. +They must come at two in the morning. Come before another dawn, as the +doctor was going to hold him one day before turning him over to the +police, hoping the gang would do something to involve themselves in +some way they would not if the police were after them with a hue and +cry. + +The outlaw wrote the letter as ordered, addressed it to Barry O'Toole, +and threw it out of the window. It fell beyond the porch, on the +ground. But this the doctor remedied by hiring a small boy for ten +cents to pick it up and put it in a mail box. After which, the doctor +betook himself to the nearest extensive hardware establishment. + +At two o'clock the next morning, the beams of a dark lantern shone +athwart the darkness of the cellar of Dr. McDill's residence. + +"It's all right, boys. I can smell escaping gas, but it's all right. +There's nobody in there. Now for the doctor. We'll kill him and all +who are in there with him, and burn the house," said a voice behind +the lantern, and one after another, eleven burly men dropped into the +cellar through the narrow east window high in the wall. As the feet of +the last man struck the ground, there was a sound as of a rope jerked +by some one in the orifice by which they had just entered, and they +heard two succeeding crashes within the cellar, followed by the slam +of an iron shutter over the window. There was a sound of a spasmodic +rush upon the cellar stairs and a beating upon the door, and then a +succession of softer sounds, as of men rolling down stairs, and then +silence. + +A match was struck upon the outside of the iron shutter. It revealed +the face of Dr. McDill, lighting a cigar. + +"The gas alone would have been almost sufficient. But when all those +bottles of ether and chloroform broke---- I had better open the window +so it will work off and I can get them out. I will write to my wife to +stay away two months longer. Olga is dead and Kate is gone. I'll +discharge August to-morrow, as he deserves. The field is clear." + +One morning, as Hans Olson, cook of the King Olaf Magnus, staunch +schooner engaged in the shingle trade between Chicago and the city of +Manistee, state of Michigan, on this particular morning lying in the +Chicago River--on this morning, as Mr. Olson was pouring overboard +some dishwater, preparing the breakfast for the yet sleeping crew, he +was horrified to see floating in the current that would eventually +carry them past the great city of St. Louis, twelve naked human arms. +Despite his horror and alarm at this grewsome array of severed +members, he noted that so far as he could observe, they were all left +arms, forearms, disjointed at the elbows. Subsequent examination but +added to the mystery. It was no trick of medical students intended to +set the town agog. They were not dissecting subjects, but limbs lately +taken from living bodies, and they were detached with the highest +skill known to the art of chirurgery. The town talked and it was a +day's wonder, but the solving of the mystery proving impossible, it +was passing into tradition when all were horrified anew to hear that +Johannes Klubertanz, a member of the great and honest German-American +element, while walking through Lincoln Park early one morning, +stumbled over some objects which, upon examination, proved to be +twelve human forearms, _right forearms_! + +Again were the wisest baffled in even guessing at this riddle, as they +were a third time, when one Prosper B. Shaw came with the story that +while rowing down in the drainage canal, he had come upon, floating +gently along, dissevered at the knee joint, _twelve human legs_! + +The whole community shuddered at the dark secret hidden in their +midst, but at last came the answer, yet not the answer. Of all strange +crews that mortal sight has gazed upon, that was the strangest, that +dozen men who out of nowhere appeared suddenly in the streets one +morning, armless all, all with wooden left legs. Their story you would +ask in vain, for just the little chord by which the tongue forms +intelligible words was gone. Their babblings came just to the border +of articulate speech, but not beyond. Torrents of half-formed words +they poured forth, but only half-formed, and to their mouthed jabber +the crowd listened without understanding. Did you thrust a pencil in +their jaws and bid them write their tale? Gone was some little muscle +that grips the jaws and the pencils lolled between teeth that could +not nip them. And as for their lips, oh, their mouths, their mouths! +Such an example of the chirurgery that has to do with the altering of +the human face had never before been witnessed, for nature had never +made those faces. One such countenance she might have made in cruel +sport, but never twelve, and twelve altogether, as like as peas in a +pod, twelve human jack o'lanterns, twelve travesties upon humanity's +front. Howsoever they might once have looked, not even their own +mothers could know them now. Around each eye the same wrinkles led +away. On each face was a bulbous nose. But the mouths, oh, the mouths! +Each was drawn back over the teeth in a perpetual grin, each was +upturned at corners which ended well nigh in the middle of the cheek. +Here were the victims of the horrors that had made the city shudder, +but dumb and unrecognizable. In all the thousands that looked at them, +not one could say he had ever seen them before. In all these +thousands, there was not one to whom they could speak. There were +their stiff faces, frozen into that terrible perpetual grin, so many +idols of wood, save for their eyes, and they were the only things that +lived in their dead faces. + +Such rudimentary human beings it would be hard to conceive, and so +after a while it occurred to some one that the same scientific methods +that discover and disclose to us the modes of life, the habits, and +even thoughts of primitive and rudimentary man, might be devoted to +establishing a means of communication with them and unveil the secret +the whole world was eager to know. Accordingly, they were taken to the +University of Chicago and turned over to the department of +anthropology. The learned expounders of this science were not long in +devising a simple means of communication. The twelve unfortunates were +seated upon a recitation bench and a doctor of philosophy wrote out an +alphabet upon the blackboard. + +"One rap of your foot will be A," said the doctor of philosophy. "Two +will be B. Two raps, a pause, and one will be C. We will soon learn +your story." + +At this moment, the reverberations of a prodigious blow upon the door +outside echoed through the room, "bang, bang--bang, bang, bang--bang." + +Unaccountably startled, as if at the hearing of some portent, the +professor stood rooted to the spot for a moment, and then was about to +leap to the door, when the simulacrums before him sprang to their feet +and with a tremendous stamping, smote their wooden legs upon the +floor, "stamp, stamp--stamp, stamp, stamp--stamp." + +The professor stared at the twelve mutes. There were their immobile +faces, as wooden as their wooden legs, wearing their perpetual grin, +but the westering sun shone on their eyes and there he saw an abject, +grovelling fear, dreadful to behold, the master passion of twelve +souls, slaves to some mysterious will which had just made itself +manifest out of the unseen. By what means the will had gained this +ascendancy, the terrible disfigurements of their remnants of bodies +told only too well, and he who ran could read the utter prostration +before the power which in their lives had been the greatest and most +terrible in the universe. Again, far off in a distant corridor of the +building, slowly rumbled to them: "knock, knock--knock; knock, +knock--knock," and the twelve unfortunates, like so many automatons, +gave token of their obedience. They had been warned to keep the +secret. + +And so was foiled the attempts of the learned anthropologists to hold +converse with these rudimentary beings. The alphabet of such elaborate +devisings went for naught. Never did the twelve persons in the state +of primitive culture get further than the letter C: "knock, +knock--knock; knock, knock--knock." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Fifth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"I am at a loss to understand," said Mr. Middleton, "why you have +entitled the narration you have just related, 'The Pleasant Adventures +of Dr. McDill.' For to my mind, they seemed anything but pleasant +adventures." + +"How so?" asked the emir. "Is it not pleasant to thwart the +machinations and defeat the evil intentions of the villains such as +composed the confederacy that sought the doctor's life? Does there not +reside in mankind a sense of justice which rejoices at seeing meted +out to wrong-doers the deserts of their crimes?" + +To which Mr. Middleton replying with a nod of thoughtful assent, after +a proper period of rumination upon the words of the emir, that +accomplished ruler continued: + +"Despite the boasted protection of the law, how often is a man +compelled to rely for his protection upon his own prowess, skill or +address. There are many occasions when right under the nose of the +police, one saves himself by the resort to physical strength, weapons, +or the use of a cajoling tongue. Theoretically, Dr. McDill was amply +protected by the mantle of the law. In reality, it was man to man as +much as if he had met his foes in the Arabian desert, with none but +himself and them and the vultures. Do you go armed?" + +"No," replied Mr. Middleton, with a flippant smile; "but I can go +pretty fast, and that has heretofore done as well as going armed." + +"Young man," said the emir, sternly, "a bullet can outstrip your +fleetest footsteps. There may never be but one occasion when you will +need a weapon, but on that occasion the possession of the means of +protection may spell the difference between life and life." + +Hardly had he uttered them, before Mr. Middleton regretted his forward +and pert words, for never before had he answered the emir lightly, +such was his respect for him as a man of goodly parts and as one set +in authority, and such was his gratitude toward him as a benefactor. +Stammering forth what was at once an apology and an acknowledgement of +the wisdom of what the emir had said, Mr. Middleton began to make +preparations to go. But Prince Achmed bade him wait, and saying a few +words to Mesrour in the Arabic language, the blackamore brought to him +a pair of pistols of a formidable aspect. In sooth, one could hardly +tell whether they ought to be called pistols, or culverins. In the +shape of the stocks alone could anyone detect that they were pistols. +The bore of each was more than an inch in diameter, and the octagonal +barrels of thick steel, heavily inlaid with silver, were a foot and a +half long. The handles, which were in proportion to the barrels and so +long that four hands could grasp them, were so completely covered with +an inlay of pearl that no wood was visible. Taking one of them, the +emir rammed home a great load of powder, upon which he placed a +handful of balls as large as marbles. Having served the second +likewise, he handed the pair to Mr. Middleton. + +"Take them. Protected by them, you need have little fear. But woe +betide the man who stands in front of them, for so wide is the +distribution of their charge, that he must be a most indifferent +marksman who could not do execution with them." + +Thanking the emir for the gift and the entertainment and instruction +of his discourse, Mr. Middleton departed. Impressed though he had been +by Prince Achmed's counsel and by the lesson to be derived from the +recital of the experiences of Dr. McDill, Mr. Middleton did not carry +the pistols as he went about his daily vocation. It was impossible to +so bestow them about his garments that they did not cause large and +unsightly protuberances and to carry them openly was not to be thought +of. Their weight, too, was so great that it was burdensome to carry +them in any manner. Coming into his room unexpectedly in the middle of +the forenoon of the Thursday following the acquisition of the weapons, +he surprised Hilda Svenson, maid of all work, in the act of examining +one of them, which she had extracted from the place where they lay +concealed in the lower bureau drawer beneath a pile of underclothing. +With a start of guilty surprise, Hilda let the pistol fall to the +floor. Fortunately it did not go off, but nonetheless was he convinced +that he ought to dispose of the two weapons, for any day Hilda might +shoot herself with one, while on the weekly sheet changing day, Mrs. +Leschinger, the landlady, might shoot herself with the other. There +was no place in the room where he could conceal them from the +painstaking investigations of Hilda and Mrs. Leschinger, and the +expedient of extracting the charges not occurring to him, he felt that +it was clearly his duty to remove the lives of the two women from +jeopardy by disposing of the pistols. He was in truth pained at the +necessity of parting with the gifts which the emir had made with such +solicitude for his welfare and as some assuagement to this regret he +sought to dispose of them as profitably as possible. With this end in +view, he made an appointment for a private audience after hours with +Mr. Sidney Kuppenheimer, who conducted a large loan bank on Madison +Street and was reputed a connoisseur and admirer of all kinds of +curios. + +On the evening for which he had made the appointment, he set forth, +intending to make an early and short call upon his friend Chauncy +Stackelberg and wife, before repairing to Mr. Kuppenheimer's place of +business. But such was the engaging quality of the conversation of the +newly married couple, abounding both in humor and good sense, and so +interested was he in hearing of the haps and mishaps of married life, +a state he hoped to enter as soon as fortune and the young lady of +Englewood should be propitious, that he was unaware of the flight of +time until in the midst of a pause in the conversation, he heard the +cathedral clock Mrs. Stackelberg's uncle had given her as a wedding +present, solemnly tolling the hour of eleven. The hour Mr. +Kuppenheimer had named was one hour agone. To have kept the +appointment, he should have started two hours before. + +Another half hour had flown before Mr. Middleton, having paused to +partake of some chow-chow recently made by Mrs. Stackelberg and highly +recommended by her liege, finally left the house, carrying a pistol in +either hand. The night was somewhat cloudy, but although there was +neither moon nor stars, it was much lighter than on some nights when +all the minor luminaries are ablaze, or the moon itself is aloft, +shining in its first or last quarter, a phenomenon remarked upon by an +able Italian scientist in the middle of the last century and by him +attributed to some luminous quality that inheres in the clouds +themselves. Mr. Middleton was walking along engrossed in thoughts of +the scene of domestic bliss he had lately quitted and in dreams of the +even more delightful home he hoped to some day enjoy with the young +lady of Englewood, when he suddenly became cognizant of four +individuals a short distance away, comporting themselves in an unusual +and peculiar manner. Cautiously approaching them as quietly as +possible, he perceived that it was two robbers despoiling two citizens +of their valuables, one pair standing in the middle of the street, one +on the sidewalk, the citizens with their hands elevated above their +heads in a strained and uncomfortable attitude, while each +robber--with back to him--was pointing a revolver with one hand and +turning pockets inside out with the other. + +With a resolution and celerity that astonished him, as he afterwards +dwelt upon it in retrospect, Mr. Middleton rushed silently upon the +nearest robber, him in the street, and dealt him a terrible blow upon +the head with the barrel of a pistol. Without a sound, the robber sank +to the earth, whereupon the citizen, whether he had lost his head +through fear, or thought Mr. Middleton a new and more dangerous +outlaw, fled away like the wind. Snatching the bag of valuables in the +unconscious thief's hands, Mr. Middleton made toward the other robber, +who, to his astonishment, hissed without looking around: + +"What did you let your man get away for, you fool? Try and make +yourself useful somehow. Hold this swag and cover the man, so I can +have both hands and get through quick." + +Taking the valuables the robber handed him, Mr. Middleton with +calmness and deliberation placed them in his pockets, after which he +placed a muzzle of a pistol in the back of the robber's neck and +sharply commanded: + +"Hands up!" + +Up went the robber's hands as if he were a jumping-jack jerked by a +string, whereupon his late victim, doubtless animated by the same +emotions as those of the other citizens, fled away like the wind, but +not in silence, for at every jump he bellowed, "Thieves, murder, +help!" + +A window slammed up in the house before which they were standing and +the glare of an electric bicycle lamp played full upon Mr. Middleton +and his prisoner. + +"I've got him," said Mr. Middleton, proudly. + +"Got him! Got him!" gasped an astonished voice. "Well, of all +effrontery! Got him, you miserable thief? The police are coming and +they'll get you, and I can identify you, if they don't succeed in +nabbing you red-handed." + +Shocked and almost paralyzed, Mr. Middleton turned to expostulate with +the misled householder, when the robber, seizing the opportunity, fled +away like the wind, bellowing at every jump, "Thieves, murder, help!" +and as if aroused by the sound of his compatriot's voice, the thief +who had been lying unconscious in the street all this while, arose and +hastened away, somewhat unsteadily, it is true, yet at a considerable +degree of speed. + +It did not require any extended reflective processes for Mr. Middleton +to tell himself that if he waited for the police, he would be in a +very bad plight, for he had the stolen property upon his person, the +thieves had gone, and even if the victims were able to say he was not +one of the two original thieves--which their disturbed state of mind +made most uncertain--they would be likely to declare him a thief +notwithstanding, a charge which the stolen property on his person +would bear out. The police could now be heard down the street and the +householder was making the welkin ring with vociferous shouts. With a +sudden access of rage at this individual whose well-intended efforts +had thwarted justice and might yet fasten crime upon innocence, Mr. +Middleton pointed a pistol at the upper pane of the window where shone +the bicycle lamp. There was a roar that shook the air, followed by a +crash of glass and the clatter of a dozen bullets upon the brick wall +of the house, and a shriek of terror from the householder and the +bicycle lamp instantly vanished. With a heart strangely at peace in +the midst of the dangers that encompassed him, Mr. Middleton sped up +the street, dashed through an alleyway, back for a block on the next +street in the direction he had just come, and thenceforth leisurely +and with an appearance of virtue he did not need to feign, made his +way home without molestation. + +Upon examining the booty that had so strangely come into his +possession, Mr. Middleton was at a loss to think which were the +greater villains, those who had robbed, or those who had been robbed. +One wallet contained five hundred and forty dollars in greenbacks and +some memoranda accompanying it showed that it was a corruption fund to +be used in bribing voters at an approaching election. The other wallet +contained sixty dollars and a detailed plan for bribery, fraud, and +intimidation which was to be carried out in one of the doubtful wards. +There were also some silver coins, and two gold watches bearing no +names or marks that could identify their owners, but the detailed plan +contained the name of the politician who had drawn it up and who was +to be benefited by its successful accomplishment. This was a clue by +following which Mr. Middleton might have found the parties who had +been robbed and return their property, but he was deterred from doing +so by several considerations. The knowledge he had of the proposed +fraud was exceedingly dangerous to the interests of one of the +political parties and to the personal interests of one of the bosses +of that party. It would be clearly to their advantage to have Mr. +Middleton jailed and so put where there would be no danger that he +would divulge the information in his possession. Besides this, the +money was to be used for corrupt purposes, would go into the hands of +evil men who would spend it evilly. Deprived of it, a thoroughly bad +man was less likely to be elected. For these moral and prudential +reasons, Mr. Middleton saw that it was plainly his duty to the public +and to himself to retain the money. The victims, bearing in mind that +the recovery of the money by the police would also mean the discovery +of the incriminating documents and that any persecution of the robbers +might incite them to sell the documents to the opposite party, would +be very chary about doing or saying anything. But there was the +householder, who surely would tell his tale and who had an idea of Mr. +Middleton's personal appearance. Accordingly, that excellent young man +disposed of the gold watches to one Isaac Fiscovitz on lower State +Street, and with the results of the exchange purchased an entirely new +suit, new hat, and new shoes. The incriminating documents, he placed +under the carpet in his room against a time when he might see an +opportunity to safely dispose of them to the pecuniary advantage of +himself and to the discomfiture of the contemptible creature whose +handiwork they were. + +He said nothing of these transactions when on the appointed evening he +once more sat in the presence of the urbane prince of the tribe of +Al-Yam. Having handed him a bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, +Achmed began the narration of The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson. + + + + +_The Adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson._ + + +Miss Clarissa Dawson was a young lady who had charge of the cutlery +counter in one of the great emporiums of State Street. She was +reckoned of a pretty wit and not more cutting were the Sheffield +razors that were piled before her than the remarks she sometimes made +to those who, incited thereto by her reputation for readiness of +retort, sought to engage her in a contest of repartee. It was seldom +that she issued from these encounters other than triumphant, leaving +her presumptuous opponents defeated and chagrined. But in the month of +November of the last year, for once she owned to herself that she had +been overcome,--overcome, it is true, because her adversary was +plainly a person of stupidity, mailed by his doltishness against the +keenest sarcasm she could launch against him, yet nevertheless +overcome. To her choicest bit of irony, the individual replied, +"Somebody left you on the grindstone and forgot to take you off," to +which the most adroit in quips and quirks could find no fitting +replication, unless it were to indulge in facial contortion or +invective, and Miss Clarissa was too much of a lady to do either. +Forced into silence, she had no resource but to seek to transfix him +with a protracted and contemptuous stare, which, though failing to +disconcert the object, put her in possession of the facts that he had +mild blue eyes, that the remnants of his hair were red, that he was +slightly above middle height and below middle age, and that there was +little about his face and still less his figure to distinguish him +from a multitude of men of the average type. Indeed, one could not +even conjecture his nationality, for his type was one to be seen in +all branches of the Indo-European race. If from a package in his upper +left-hand coat pocket, which, broken, disclosed some wieners, you +concluded he was of the German nation, a short dudeen in an upper vest +pocket would seem to indicate that he was an Irishman. His coat was of +black cheviot, new, and of the current cut. His vest was of corduroy, +of the kind in vogue in the past decade, while his pantaloons, black, +with a faint green line in them, were a compromise, being of a +non-commital cut that would never be badly out of style in any modern +period. + +Sustaining Miss Clarissa's stare with great composure, he purchased +six German razors at thirty-five cents each, six English at fifty, +twelve American at the same price, and a stray French razor at +sixty-two. + +"Don't you want some razorine?" asked Miss Clarissa. "It makes +razors--and other things--sharper." + +"Why don't you use it, then, instead of lobsterine?" replied the +stranger, picking up his package and the change. Miss Clarissa +deigning to give no reply but an angry frown, the stranger expressed +his gratitude for the amusement he intimated she had afforded him and +he further said he hoped he would see her at the Charity Ball and he +made bold to ask her to save the second two-step for him, and +thereafter departed, having declined Miss Clarissa's offer to have his +purchases sent to his address, an offer dictated not by a spirit of +accommodation and kindliness, but by a desire to learn in what part of +the city he had his residence. + +On the morrow again came a man to purchase razors, of which there was +a large number on Miss Clarissa's counter, traveling men's samples for +sale at ridiculous prices. The man had purchased two dozen razors +before Miss Clarissa, noting this similarity to the transactions of +the odious person and thereby led to take a good look at him, observed +with astonishment that this new man had on exactly the same suit that +had been worn by the purchaser of the day before. She recognized the +fabric, the color, everything down to a discoloration on the left coat +lapel. Here the resemblance ended. The second individual was a young +man. He had a heavy shock of abundant hair. He was not more than +twenty-eight years old and so far from being commonplace, he was of a +distinguished appearance. But as the eyes of Miss Clarissa continued +to dwell upon him in some admiration, she told herself that the +resemblance did not end with the clothes, after all. His eyes were of +the same blue, his hair of the same auburn as those of the man of +yesterday. Indeed, the man of yesterday might have been this man with +twenty years added on him, with the light of hope and ambition dimmed +by contact with the world, and his youthful alertness and dash +succeeded by the resigned vacuity of one who has seen none of his +early dreams realized. Again did Miss Clarissa ask if he would have +his purchases sent to his address, but this time it was not entirely +curiosity and the perfunctory performance of a duty, for she would +gladly have been of service to one of such a pleasing presence. +Communing with himself for a moment, the young man said: + +"On the whole, you may. But they must be delivered to me in person, +into my own hands. I would take them, but I have a number of other +things to take. Remember, they are to be delivered to me in person," +and he handed her a card which announced that his name was Asbury +Fuller and on which was written in lead pencil the address of a house +in a quarter of the city which, once the most fashionable of all, had +suffered from the encroachments of trade and where a few mansions yet +occupied by the aristocracy were surrounded by the deserted homes of +families which had fled to the newer haunts of fashion, leaving their +former abodes to be occupied by boarding mistresses, dentists, +doctors, clairvoyants, and a whole host of folk whose names would +never be in the papers until their burial permits were issued. + +Miss Clarissa did a very peculiar thing. It was already four o'clock +of a Saturday afternoon. Instead of immediately giving the package +into the hands of the delivery department, she retained it and, at +closing time, going to the room where ready made uniforms for +messenger boys were kept, she purloined one. Now it must be known that +the principal reason for doing a thing so unusual, not to say +indiscreet, was her desire to obey the young man's injunction to hand +the razors into his own hands and no others. She had become possessed +of the idea that some disaster would befall if the razors came into +the possession of any one else. Moreover, the stranger had humbled her +in the contest of repartee, which, as a true woman, had made her +entertain an admiration for him, and this and his strange disguises +and his unaccountable purchases had surrounded him with a mist of +romantic mystery she fain would penetrate. Some little time before, it +had been Miss Clarissa's misfortune, through sickness, to lose much of +her hair. It had now begun to grow again and resume its former +luxuriant abundance, but by removing several switches--of her own +hair--and the bolster commonly called a rat, and sleeking her hair +down hard with oil, she appeared as a boy might who was badly in need +of a haircut. After a light supper, she set out alone for the +residence of Asbury Fuller and at the end of her journey found herself +at the gateway of a somber edifice, which was apparently the only one +in the block that was inhabited. On either side and across the way +were vacant houses, lonesome and forbidding. Indeed, the residence of +Asbury Fuller was itself scarcely less lonesome and forbidding. The +grass of the plot before it was long and unkempt and heavily covered +with mats of autumn leaves. The bricks of the front walk were sunken +and uneven and the steps leading to the high piazza were deeply +warped, as by pools of water that had lain and dried on their unswept +surface through many seasons. The blinds hung awry and the paint on +the great front doors was scaling, and altogether it was a faded +magnificence, this of Asbury Fuller. She pulled the handle of the +front-door bell and in response to its jangling announcement came a +maid. + +"Asbury Fuller?" said the maid, omitting the "Mr." Miss Clarissa had +affixed. "Go to the side door around to the right." + +Wondering if this were a lodging house and Asbury Fuller had a private +entrance, or if it being his own house he had left word that callers +should be sent to the side door to prevent the delivery of the razors +being seen by others, Clarissa followed the walk through an avenue of +dead syringa bushes and came to the side door. The same maid who had +met her before, ushered her in and presently she found herself in a +small apartment, almost a closet, standing at the back of Asbury +Fuller. But though small, she remarked that the apartment was one of +some magnificence, for on all sides was a quantity of burnished +copper, binding the edges of a row of shelves and covering the whole +top of a broad counter-like projection running along one side of the +wall. Before this, Asbury Fuller was standing, assorting a number of +cut-glass goblets of various sizes and putting them upon silver +salvers, bottles of various colored wines being placed upon each +salver with the goblets. He turned at her entrance and the look of sad +and gloomy abstraction sitting upon his countenance instantly changed +to one of relief and joy. + +"At last, at last," he exclaimed, in a deep tone which even more than +his countenance betrayed his relief and joy. "It is almost too late +and I thought the young woman had not attended to sending them, that +she had failed me." + +"She would not fail you, sir," said Clarissa, earnestly, allowing +herself in the protection her assumed character gave her the pleasure +of giving utterance to her feeling of regard for the young man. "She +would not fail, sir, she could not fail you. Oh, you wrong her, if you +think she could ever break her word to you." + +Asbury Fuller bent an inscrutable look upon Clarissa and then bidding +her remain until his return, hastily left the room. But though he was +gone, Clarissa sat gloating upon the mental picture of his manly +beauty. He seemed taller than before, for the stoop he had worn in the +afternoon had now departed and he stood erect and muscular in the suit +of full evening dress that set off his lithe, soldierly form to such +advantage. His garb was of an elegance such as Clarissa had never +before beheld, and it was plain that the aristocracy affected certain +adornments in the privacy of their homes which they did not caparison +themselves with in public. Clarissa had seen dress suits in +restaurants and in theaters, but never before had she seen a +bottle-green dress coat with gold buttons and a velvet collar and a +vest with broad longitudinal stripes of white and brown. In a brief +space, Asbury Fuller returned, and glancing at his watch, he said: + +"There is some time before the dinner party begins and I would like to +talk with you. I am impressed by your apparent honesty and +particularly by the air of devotion to duty that characterizes you. +The latter I have more often remarked in women than in the more +selfish sex to which we belong. We need a boy here. Wages, twenty +dollars a month and keep." + +"Oh, sir, I should be pleased to come." + +"Your duties will commence at once. Owing to the fact that this old +house has been empty for some time and the work of rehabilitating and +refurnishing it is far from completed, you cannot at present have a +room to yourself. You will sleep with John Klussmann, the hostler----" + +"Oh, sir, I cannot do that," exclaimed Clarissa, starting up in alarm. + +"John is a good boy and kicks very little in his sleep. But doubtless +you object to the smell of horses." + +"Oh, sir, let me do what is needed this evening and go home and I will +come back and work to-morrow and go home to-morrow night, and if by +that time you find I can have a room by myself, perhaps I will come +permanently." + +"I don't smell of horses myself," said Asbury Fuller, musingly, to +which Clarissa making no response other than turning away her head to +hide her blushes, he continued. "But two days will be enough. Indeed, +to-night is the crucial point. I will not beat about the bush longer. +I wish to attach you to my interests. I wish you to serve me to-night +in the crisis of my career." + +"Oh, sir," said Clarissa, in the protection that her assumed character +gave her, allowing herself the privilege of speaking her real +sentiments, "I am attached to your interests. Let me serve you. +Command, and I will use my utmost endeavor to obey." + +Asbury Fuller looked at her in surprise. Carried away by her feelings +and in the state of mental exaltation which the romance and mystery of +the adventure had induced, she had made a half movement to kneel as +she thus almost swore her fealty in solemn tones. + +"Why are you attached to my interests?" asked Asbury Fuller, somewhat +dryly. + +Alas, Clarissa could not take advantage of the protection her assumed +character gave her to tell the real reason. Only as a woman could she +do that, only as a woman could she say and be believed, "Because I +love you." + +"Why, some people are naturally leaders, naturally draw others to +them----" + +"You cannot be a spy upon me, since no one knows who I am." + +"A spy!" cried Clarissa, in a voice whose sorrowful reproach gave +convincing evidence of her ingenuousness. + +"I wrong you, I wrong you," said Asbury Fuller. "I will trust you. I +will tell you what you are to do----" + +"Butler," said a maid, poking her head in at the door, "it is time to +come and give the finishing touches to the table. It is almost time +for the dinner to be served," and without ado, Asbury Fuller sprang +out of the room. + +A butler! A butler! Clarissa sat stunned. It was thus that her hero +had turned out. Could she tell the other girls in the store with any +degree of pride that she was keeping company with a butler? She had +received a good literary education in the high school at Muncie, +Indiana, and was a young woman of taste and refinement. Could she +marry a butler? To be near her hero, she herself had just now been +willing to undertake a menial position. But she had then imagined him +to be a person of importance. This stage in her cogitations led her to +the reflection that her feelings were unworthy of her. Had her regard +for Asbury Fuller been all due to the belief that he was a person of +importance, merely the worship of position, the selfish desire and +hope--however faint--of rising to affluence and social dignity through +him? Butler or no butler, Asbury Fuller was handsome, he was +distinguished, his manner of speech was superior to that of any person +she had ever known. Butler or no butler, she loved him. Just now she +had hoped that he, rich and well placed, would overlook her poverty, +and take her, friendless and obscure, for his bride. Could she give +less than she had hoped he would give? And then as butler, her chances +of winning him were so greatly increased. + +In a short time, he returned. He told her she was to wait on the table +and instructed her how to serve the courses. + +"The master will look surprised when he sees you instead of me. If he +asks who you are, say the new page. But he will be too much afraid of +exciting the wonder of his guests to ask you any questions. I feel +certain that he will accept your presence without question, being +desirous his guests shall not think him a tyro in the management of an +establishment like this. I feel certain that after dinner, his guests +will ask to see his collection of arms. Indeed, Miss Bording told him +in my hearing last Monday that she accepted his invitation here on +condition that she be allowed to see the famous collection. You are to +follow them into the drawing-room after dinner. The master will not +know whether that is usual or not. If they do start to go to look at +the arms, you are to say, 'The collection of your former weapons, sir, +has been placed in the first room to the left at the head of the +stairs. The paper-hangers and decorators have been busy.' Then you are +to lead the way into that room, which you will find dimly lighted. +After that, I will attend to everything myself." + +Although Clarissa could not but wonder at the strangeness of her +instructions and to be somewhat alarmed at the evidences of a plot in +which she was to be an agent, she agreed, for though her regard for +Asbury Fuller would have been sufficient to cause such acquiescence, +so great was her curiosity to have solved the mysteries which +surrounded that individual, that this alone would have gained her +consent. + +There were but two guests at the table of Mr. William Leadbury--Judge +Volney Bording, and his daughter, Eulalia Bording. Mr. Leadbury cast a +look of surprise and displeasure as he saw Clarissa serving the first +course, but he quickly concealed these emotions and proceeded to +plunge into an animated conversation with his guests. Indeed, it +assumed the character of a monologue in which he frequently adverted +to the weather, to be off on a tangent the next moment on a discussion +of finance, politics, sociology, on which subjects, however, he was +far from showing the positiveness and fixed opinion that he did while +descanting upon the weather. In all the subjects he touched upon, he +exhibited a certain skill in so framing his remarks that they would +not run counter to any prejudices or opposite opinions of his +auditors, but the feelings of the auditors having been elicited, +served as a preamble from which he could go on, warmly agreeing with +their views in the further and more complete unfolding of his own. He +was between twenty-seven and thirty years of age, of a somewhat spare +figure, and in the well-proportioned features of his face there was no +one that would attract attention beyond the others and easily remain +fixed in memory. He was not without an appearance of intelligence and +his chest was thrown out and the small of his back drawn in after the +manner of the Prussian ex-sergeants who give instruction in athletics +and the cultivation of a proper carriage to the elite of this city, +and withal he had the appearance of a person of substance and of +consequence in his community. In the midst of a pause where he was +occupied in putting his soup-spoon into his mouth, Miss Bording +remarked: + +"Please do not talk about commonplace American subjects, Mr. Leadbury. +Tell us of your foreign life. Tell us of Algeria. What sort of a +country is Algeria?" + +Turning his eyes toward the chandelier about him and with an elegance +of enunciation that did much to relieve the undeniably monotonous +evenness of his discourse, he began: + +"Algeria, the largest and most important of the French colonial +possessions, is a country of northern Africa, bounded on the north by +the Mediterranean, west by Morocco, south by the desert of Sahara, and +east by Tunis. It extends for about five hundred and fifty miles along +the coast and inland from three hundred to four hundred miles. +Physiographically it may be roughly divided into three zones," and so +on for a considerable length until by an accident which Clarissa could +attribute to nothing but inconceivable awkwardness, Judge Bording +dropped a glass of water, crash! Having ceased his disquisition at +this accident, so disconcerting to the judge, Miss Bording very +prettily and promptly thanked him for his information and saying that +she now had a clear understanding of the principal facts pertaining to +Algeria, abruptly changed the subject by asking him if he had heard +anything more concerning his second cousin, the barber. + +"There is nothing more to be heard. He is dead. You know he came here +about a week before I did. By the terms of my uncle's will, the five +years to be allowed to elapse before I was to be considered dead or +disappeared would have come to an end in a week after the time of my +arrival, and the property have passed to him, my uncle's cousin. By +the greatest luck in the world, I had become homesick and throwing up +my commission in the Foreign Legion, or Battalion D'Etranger, as we +have it in French, which is, as you may know, a corps of foreigners +serving under the French flag, mainly in Algeria, but occasionally in +other French possessions--throwing up my commission, I came home, +bringing with me my famous collection of weapons and the fauteuil of +Ab del Kader, the armchair, you understand, of the great Arab prince +who led the last revolt against France. It was not all homesickness, +either. Among the men of all nationalities serving in the Foreign +Legion, are many adventurous Americans, and a young Chicagoan, +remarking my name, apprised me of the fact that perhaps I was heir to +a fortune in Chicago. I came," continued Leadbury, looking down toward +his lap, where Clarissa saw he held a clipping from a newspaper, "and +took apartments at the Bennington Hotel, where, when seen by the +representatives of the 'Commercial Advertiser,' the following +interesting facts were brought out in the interview: 'William +Leadbury'--your humble servant--" he interjected, "'is the only son of +the late Charles Leadbury, only brother of the late millionaire iron +merchant, James Leadbury. Upon his death, James Leadbury left his +entire property'--but," said Leadbury, looking up, "I have previously +covered that point." + +"But tell us of your weapons," interposed Miss Bording. + +"Oh, yes, that seems to interest you," and deftly sliding the clipping +along in his fingers, he resumed: "'The collection of weapons is one +of the most interesting and remarkable collections in the United +States, for, though not large, its owner can say, with pardonable +pride, "every bit of steel in that collection has been used by me in +my trade."'" + +"Ah, how proud you must be," mused Miss Bording. "I read something +like that in the papers, myself. Just to think of it! Every bit of +steel in that collection has been used by you in your trade. What a +strange affectation you military men have in calling your profession a +trade! But, Captain Leadbury, tell me of your cousin, who disappeared +two days after your arrival, and why you shaved your moustache which +the papers described you as having." + +"A moustache is a bother," said Leadbury. "As to my cousin, why, +overcome by disappointment, he took to drink. He disappeared from his +lodgings on Rush Street two days after my arrival, at the close of a +twenty-four hours' debauch. It was found he had shipped as a sailor on +the Ingar Gulbrandson, lumber hooker for Marinette, and the +Gulbrandson was found sunk up by Death's Door, at the entrance to +Green Bay, her masts sticking above water. Her crew had utterly +disappeared. That was three months ago and neither hide nor hair of +any of them has been seen since. Poor Anderson Walkley is dead! Were +he alive, I would be glad to assist him. But he was a rover, never +long in one place--a few months here, a few months there--and now he +is at rest and I believe he is glad, I believe he is glad." + +The second course consisted of turkey, and Clarissa was astounded, as +she deposited the dishes of the course, to see Asbury Fuller swiftly +enter the door upon all-fours and with extreme celerity and cat-like +lightness, flit across the room and esconce himself behind a huge +armchair upholstered in velvet, and her astonishment increased and was +tinged with no small degree of terror, as she observed the chair, +noiselessly and almost imperceptibly, progress across the floor, +propelled by some hidden force, until it reached a station behind the +master of the house. Captain Leadbury began to carve the turkey and +Clarissa was astonished more than ever to hear, in the Captain's +voice, though she was sure his lips were shut, + +"Would you like a close shave, Miss Bording?" + +The sound of the carving-knife dropping upon the platter as Leadbury +started in some sudden spasm of pain, was drowned by the silvery +laughter of Miss Bording, saying, + +"Oh, don't make fun of the profession of your poor cousin, Captain," +and the look of disquiet upon Leadbury's face was quickly relieved and +he joined heartily and almost boisterously in the merriment. A moment +later, Clarissa was alarmed to find him bending upon herself a look in +which suspicion, distrust, fear, and hatred all were blended. + +Judge Volney Bording, ornament to the legal profession, was a hearty +eater, and it was not long before he sent his plate for a second +helping, and again Clarissa heard from the closed lips of Leadbury, in +a voice that seemed to float up from his very feet: + +"Next. Next. You're next, Miss Bording. What'll it be?" + +Leadbury half rose, looking toward Clarissa with a glance of most +violent anger, but whatever he would have said, was again interrupted +by the silvery laugh of Miss Bording, and again Leadbury joined +heartily, almost boisterously. But though he regained his +self-possession and his brow became serene, Clarissa saw in his eye +that which told he had a reckoning in store for her when once the +guests were out of the house, but that in the meantime he would +dissemble the various unpleasant emotions with which his mind was +filled. The rest of the dinner passed without untoward event. The huge +armchair by imperceptible degrees retired to its former position, and +as Clarissa set down the dessert, she saw Asbury Fuller, with a grace +unusual and not to be expected of one in such a posture, proceeding +quickly and silently out of the room upon all-fours. + +Mindful of her instructions, Clarissa accompanied the party when, +rising from the table, they withdrew to the drawing-room. It was +manifest that her presence caused Leadbury some uneasiness and he +looked now at her and now at his guests with an inquiring and +perturbed countenance, but in the calm faces of the judge and his +daughter he could detect nothing to indicate that they thought the +presence of the page at all strange, and little by little he recovered +his good spirits and related some interesting anecdotes of a bulldog +he once owned and of a colored person who stole a guitar from him. But +though Miss Bording gave a courteous and interested attention and +laughed at the anecdotes of the dog, she irked at the necessity of +silence, which the garrulity of her host placed her under and was +desirous of having the conversation become general and of a more +entertaining, elevated and instructive character. As the narration of +the episode of the colored person came to an end, she hastily +exclaimed: + +"Captain, you promised to show us your collection. It is nearing the +time when we must go home, for father has had to-day to listen to an +unparalleled amount of gabble and is very tired." + +"I will show the collection to you with great pleasure," said +Leadbury, and at this juncture, Clarissa, remembering her +instructions, said: + +"The collection of your former weapons, sir, has been placed in the +first room at the left at the head of the stairs. The paperhangers and +decorators have been busy." And then she proceeded to lead the way +into the hall and up the broad funereal staircase that led above. +Dimly burned the lights in the hall. Dimly burned a gas jet in the +room whose door stood open at the left. + +"Oh, yes," said Leadbury, gaily, responding to a remark of Miss +Bording, as they entered the room and saw the uncertain shape of a +large chair vaguely looming in the gloom; "I secured the fauteuil of +Ab del Kader after we had stormed the last stronghold of that +unfortunate prince. But interesting as this relic is, I put no value +upon it in comparison with the weapons, for every bit of steel in the +collection has been used by me in my trade." + +As he said these words, he turned on the gas at full head and the +light blazed forth to be shot back from an array of polished steel +festooned upon the wall, a glittering rosette, but not of sabres and +scimetars, yataghans, rapiers, broadswords, dirks and poniards, +pistols, fusils and rifles. No! _Razors and scissors!_ Before this +array sat a great red velvet barber's chair, and near them on the wall +was a board, bearing little brass hooks, upon each of which hung a +green ticket. + +In the unexpected revelation that had followed the flare of light, all +eyes were turned upon William Leadbury, swaying back and forward with +one hand clinging to the big chair, as if ready to swoon. A sickly, +cringing grin played over his face, suddenly come all a-yellow, and +his long tongue was flickering over his pale lips. But all at once his +muscles sprang tense and a malignant anger tightened his quivering +features and turning upon Clarissa, he hissed: + +"You did this. You exposed me, you exposed me," and he was about to +leap at the terrified girl, when a ringing voice cried, "Stop!" and +there was Asbury Fuller standing in the doorway with the broad red +cordon of a Commander of the Legion of Honor across his breast and a +glittering rapier in his hand. Clarissa could have fallen at his feet, +he looked so handsome and grand, and she could have scratched out the +eyes of Eulalia Bording, whose gaze betrayed an admiration equal to +her own. Asbury Fuller, yet not wearing quite his wonted appearance, +for the luxuriant locks of auburn had gone and his head was covered +with a short, though thick crop of chestnut. + +"You exposed yourself. Harmless would all this have been, powerless to +hurt you, if you had kept your self-possession and turned it off as a +joke--your own. But your abashed mien, your complete confusion, your +utter disconcertment, betrayed you, even if you had no longer left any +question by crying out that you have been exposed. Yes, exposed, +Anderson Walkley, by the sudden confronting of you with the implements +of your craft, the weapons you had _used_ in _your_ trade, and the +belief thus aroused in your guilty mind that your secret was known, +that your identity had been detected." + +"Asbury Fuller, what business is it of yours?" and Leadbury snatched +up a large pair of hair clippers and waved them with a menacing +gesture. + +"Everyman to the weapons of his trade," exclaimed Asbury Fuller, and +the hair clippers seemed suddenly enveloped in a mass of white flame, +as the rapier played about them. Cling, clang, across the room flew +the clippers, twisted from Leadbury's hand as neatly as you please. + +"Asbury Fuller?" cried the Commander of the Legion of Honor. "Asbury +Fuller?" and he deftly fastened beneath his nose an elegant false +moustache with waxed ends. + +With his hands before his eyes as if to forefend his view from some +dreadful apparition, the man in the corner sank upon his knees, +gibbering, "William Leadbury, come back from the dead!" + +"William Leadbury, alive and well, here to claim his own from you, +Anderson Walkley, outlaw and felon. Your plans were well-laid, but I +am not dead. You signed the papers of the Ingar Gulbrandson in your +proper person. Then as she was about to sail, I was brought aboard +ostensibly drunk, but really drugged, under the name of Anderson +Walkley. The Gulbrandson was found sunk. Her crew of four had utterly +disappeared. Dead, of course. The records gave their names. I had +become Anderson Walkley and was dead. You had seized my property and +my identity. I had been in Chicago but two days and no one had become +familiar enough with my appearance to make any question when you with +your clean-shaven face came down on the morning after my +kidnaping and told the people at the hotel that you were William +Leadbury and had shaved your moustache off over night. Whatever +difference they might have thought they saw, was easily explained by +the change occasioned by the removal of your moustache. Had your +minions been as intelligent as they were villainous, your scheme would +have succeeded. It was necessary to drug me anew on the voyage, as the +effects were wearing off. They did not drug me enough, and when they +scuttled the old hulk and rowed ashore to flee with their blood money, +the cold water rising in the sinking vessel awoke me, brought me to +full consciousness, and I easily got ashore on some planking. I saw at +once what the plot had been. I realized I had a desperate man to deal +with. I had no money and it would take me some time to get from +northern Wisconsin to Chicago. In the meantime, every one would have +come to believe you William Leadbury, and who would believe me, the +ragged tramp, suddenly appearing from nowhere and claiming to be the +heir? You would be coached by your lawyers, have time to concoct lies, +to manufacture conditions that would color your claim, and in court +you would be self-possessed and on your guard. Therefore I felt that I +must await the psychological moment when you could be taken off your +guard, when, surprised and in confusion, you would betray yourself. I +secured employment as your butler, the psychological moment came, and +you stand, self-convicted, thief and would-be murderer." + +"Send for the police at once," said Judge Bording. + +"No," said the late captain in the Foreign Legion. "He may reform. I +wish him to have another chance. That he may have the wherewithal to +earn a livelihood, I present him with the contents of this room, the +means of his undoing. In my uncle's library are many excellent +theological works of a controversial nature, and these, too, I present +to him, as a means of turning his thoughts toward better things. I +will not send for the police. I will send for a dray. Judge Bording, +by the recent concatenation of events, I am become the host. Let us +leave Walkley here to pack his effects, and return to the +drawing-room." + +Clarissa preceded the others as they slowly descended, with all her +ears open to hear whatsoever William Leadbury might say to Eulalia +Bording, and it was so that she noted a strange little creaking above +them, and looking up, saw poised upon the edge of the balustrade in +the upper hall, impending over the head of William Leadbury and ready +to fall, the great barber chair! With a swift leap, she pushed him to +the wall, causing him to just escape the chair as it fell with a +dreadful crash. But she herself was not so fortunate, for with a +wicked tunk the cushioned back of the chair struck her a glancing blow +that felled her senseless upon the stairs. + +Judge Bording flew after the dastardly barber, who swifter still, was +down the backstairs and out of the house into the darkness before the +Judge could lay hands upon him. + +The judge, his daughter, and William Leadbury, bent over the +unconscious form of the page. + +"He saved your life," said the judge. "The wood and iron part would +have hit your head." + +"His breath is knocked out of him," said Miss Bording. + +"He saved my life. I cannot understand his strange devotion. I cannot +understand it," said William Leadbury, the while opening the page's +vest, tearing away his collar, and straining at his shirt, that the +stunned lungs might have play and get to work again. The stiffly +starched shirt resisted his efforts and he reached in under it to +detach the fastenings of the studs that held the bosom together. Back +came his hand as if it had encountered a serpent beneath that shirt +front. + +"I begin to understand," he exclaimed, and bending an enigmatical look +upon the startled judge and his daughter, he picked the page up in his +arms with the utmost tenderness, and bore him away. + + * * * * * + +The pains in Clarissa's body had left her. Indeed, they had all but +gone when on Sunday morning, after a night which had been one of +formless dreams where she had not known whether she slept or waked or +where she was, a frowsy maid had called her from the bed where she lay +beneath a blanket, fully dressed, and told her it was time she was +getting back to the city. Not a sign of William Leadbury as she passed +out of the great silent house. Not a word from him, no inquiry for the +welfare of the little page who had come so nigh dying for him. +Clarissa was too proud to do or say anything to let the frowsy maid +guess that she wondered at this or cared aught for the ungrateful +captain. She steeled her heart against him, but though as the days +went by she succeeded in ceasing to care for one who was so unworthy +of her regard, she could not stifle the poignant regret that he was +thus unworthy. + +It had come Friday evening, almost closing time in the great store. +Slowly and heavily, Clarissa was setting her counter in order, +preparing to go to her lodgings and nurse her sick heart until slumber +should give respite from her pain, when there came a messenger from +the dress-making department asking her presence there. + +"We've just got an order for a ready-made ball-dress for a lady that +is unexpectedly going to the Charity Ball to-night," said Mrs. +McGuffin, head of the department. "The message says the lady is just +your height and build and color--she noticed you sometime, it +seems--and that we are to fit one of the dresses to you, making such +alterations as would make it fit you, choosing one suitable to your +complexion. When it's done, to save time, you are to go right to the +person who ordered it, without stopping to change your clothes. You +can do that there. It will make her late to the ball, at best. A +carriage and a person to conduct you will be waiting." + +It was a magnificent dress that was gradually built upon the figure of +Clarissa, and when at last it was completed and she stood before the +great pier glass flushed with the radiance of a pleasure she could not +but feel despite her late sorrow and the fact she was but the lay +figure for a more fortunate woman, one would have to search far to +find a more beautiful creature. + +"Whyee!" exclaimed Mrs. McGuffin. "Why, I had no idea you had such a +figure. Why, I must have you in my department to show off dresses on. +You will work at the cutlery counter not a day after to-morrow. But +there, I am keeping you. The ball must almost have begun. Here's a bag +with your things in it. I was going to say, 'your other things.'" And +throwing a splendid cloak about the lovely shoulders of Miss Clarissa, +Mrs. McGuffin turned her over to the messenger. + +There was already somebody in the carriage into which Clarissa +stepped, but as the curtain was drawn across the opposite window, she +was unable to even conjecture the sex of the individual who was to be +her conductor to her destination, and steeped in dreams which from +pleasant ones quickly passed to bitter, she speedily forgot all about +the person at her side. But presently she perceived their carriage had +come into the midst of a squadron of other carriages charging down +upon a brilliantly lighted entrance where men and women, brave in +evening dress, were moving in. + +"Why, we are going to the ball-room itself," and as she said this and +realized that here on the very threshold of the entrancing gayeties +she was to put off her fine plumage and see the other woman pass out +of the dressing-room into the delights beyond, while she crept away in +her own simple garb amid the questioning, amused, and contemptuous +stares of the haughty dames who had witnessed the exchange, she broke +into a piteous sob. + +"Why, of course to the ball-room, my darling," breathed a voice, which +low though it was, thrilled her more than the voice of an archangel, +and she felt herself strained to a man's heart and her bare shoulders, +which peeped from the cloak at the thrust of a pair of strong arms +beneath it, came in contact with the cool, smooth surface of the bosom +of a dress shirt. "Don't you remember that I engaged the second +two-step at the Charity Ball?" + +Clarissa, almost swooning with joy as she reclined palpitating upon +the manly breast of Captain William Leadbury, said never a word, for +the power of speech was not in her; the power of song, of uttering +peans of joy, perhaps, but not the power of speech. + +"Have I assumed too much," said Leadbury, gravely, relaxing somewhat +the tightness of his embrace. "Have I, arguing from the fact that you +both served me in the crisis of my career and saved my life, assumed +too much in believing you love me? If so, I beg your pardon for +arranging this surprise. I will release you. I----" + +"Oh, no," crooned Clarissa, nestling against him with all the +quivering protest of a child about to be taken from its mother. "You +read my actions rightly. Oh, how I have suffered this week. No word +from you. I could not understand it. Of course you could not know I +was a girl. But I thought you ought to be grateful, even to a boy." + +"But I did know you were a girl. When you fell, I began to open the +clothes about your chest. When I discovered your sex, I carried you +upstairs, placed you on a bed, threw a blanket over you and was about +to call Miss Bording to take charge of you----" + +"I'm glad you didn't. I don't like Miss Bording," said Clarissa. + +"I had left to call her, when that poltroon of an Anderson Walkley, +who had stolen back into the house after running from it, crept behind +me and struck me back of the ear with a shaving mug. I dropped +unconscious. In the resulting confusion, your very existence was as +forgotten as your whereabouts was unknown. You lay there as I had left +you until a maid found you in the morning and packed you off. It was +not until Wednesday that I was able to be out. I knew you came from +this store, and mousing about in there, I had no trouble in +identifying the nice young page with the beautiful young woman at the +cutlery counter. I could scarce wait two days, but as three had +already passed, I planned this surprise, remembering our banter when I +talked with you, disguised as a man of fifty, and now you are to go in +with me as my affianced bride. We'd better hurry, for the driver must +be wondering what we are thinking about." + +It was worthy of remark that even the ladies passed many compliments +upon the beauty and grace of Miss Clarissa Dawson, the young woman who +came to the ball with William Leadbury, former captain in the army of +the Republique Francaise, heir to the millions of the late James +Leadbury, and a number of persons esteemed judges of all that pertains +to the Terpsichorean art, declared that when she appeared upon the +floor for the first time, which was to dance the second two-step with +the gallant soldier, that such was the surpassing grace with which she +revolved over the floor that one might well say she seemed to be +dancing upon air. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Sixth Gift of the Emir._ + + +"It is strange," said Mr. Middleton, "that after Clarissa had shown +her devotion to the extent of saving his life, Captain Leadbury could +have had, even for a moment, any misgivings that she loved him." + +"One cannot always be sure," said the emir. "A lover, being in a +highly nervous state because of his emotion, is always more or less +unstrung and unable to form a sound judgment or behave rationally. It +is because of this, that there are so many lovers' quarrels. But one +need not be at sea as regards the question of the affection of the +object of his tender passion. It is only necessary for you to wear a +philter upon the forehead and you can obtain the love of any woman," +and giving Mesrour some directions, the Nubian brought to his master a +minute bag of silk an inch square and of wafer thinness, which, both +from its appearance and the rare odor of musk which it exhaled, +resembled a sachet bag. + +"Wear this on your forehead," said the emir, presenting it to Mr. +Middleton. + +"But I would look ridiculous doing that, and excite comment," +expostulated the student of law. + +"Not at all," said the emir. "Put it inside the sweat-band of the +front of your hat and no one will perceive it and yet it will have all +its potency." + +Which, accordingly, Mr. Middleton did, and having thanked the emir for +his entertainment and instruction and the gift, he departed. + +The close of the relation of the adventure of Miss Clarissa Dawson +left Mr. Middleton in a most amorous mood. His mind was full of soft +dreams of the delight William Leadbury must have experienced as he sat +in the hack with Clarissa's cheek against his, pouring forth his love +into her surprised ear. Before retiring for the night, he sat for some +time ciphering on the back of an envelope and kept putting down +"$1,000, $500, $560; $560, $500, $1,000; $500, $560, $1,000; $500, +$1,000, $560," but as the result of the addition was never over +$2,060, whatever way he put it, and as the stipend he received for his +labors in the law offices of Brockelsby and Brockman was but $26 a +month, he did not feel that he had any business to snatch the young +lady of Englewood to his breast and tell her of his love and his bank +account. + +He went to see her on the following night. The exquisite beauty of +this peerless young woman had never so impressed him as upon this +night and he was gnawed by the most intense longing to call her his +own. As he thought of the fortunate William Leadbury with his rich +uncle, he fairly hated him, and anon he cursed Brockelsby and Brockman +for refusing to raise his salary to a point commensurate with the +value of his services. Surely, the young lady of Englewood, even were +he to believe her gifted with only ordinary penetration, instead of +being the highly intelligent and perspicacious person he knew her to +be, could see how he felt and must know that it was only a question of +time and more money, and assuredly, one so gracious could not, in view +of the circumstances, begrudge him the advance of one kiss and one +embrace pending the formal offer of himself and his fortunes. So as he +stood in the doorway, bidding her good-night, right in the midst of an +irrelevant remark concerning the weather, he suddenly and without +warning, threw his arms about her and essayed to kiss her. But the +young lady of Englewood, with a cry commingled of surprise and horror, +sprang away. + +"How dare you sir? What made you do that? What sort of a girl do you +think I am?" she said in freezing tones. + +Mr. Middleton replied, stuttering weakly in a very husky voice, "I +think you are a nice girl." + +"A nice girl!" quoth the young lady of Englewood fiercely. "You know +no nice girl would allow it. Nice girl, indeed. You think so. You know +no nice girl would let you do such a thing," and she slammed the door +in his face. + +Away went Mr. Middleton with his heart full of bitterness because she +would not let him do such a thing, and in the hallway stood the young +lady of Englewood with her heart full of bitterness because he had +tried to do such a thing and because she could not let him do such a +thing. + +"Much good was the philter," said Mr. Middleton, remembering the +emir's gift, but almost at the same time, he recalled that the philter +had not been on his forehead when he attempted to embrace the young +lady of Englewood, for he had held his hat in his hand. + +The farther he departed from her, the more his resentment grew, and he +declared to himself that he would never have anything more to do with +her. She was ungrateful, cold, haughty, not at all the kind of girl he +could wish as his partner for life. He would proceed to let her see +that he could do without her. He would cast her image from the temple +of his heart and never go near her again. For a moment, he was +disturbed by the thought that perhaps she would decline to receive +him, even if he should call, but he quickly banished this unpleasant +reflection and fell to devising means by which he might make it +clearly apparent to the young lady of Englewood that he did not care. + +"I'll make her sorry. I'll show her I don't care, I'll show her I +don't care." + +There is a restaurant under the basement of one of the larger and more +celebrated saloons of the city, where a genial Gaul provides, for the +modest sum of fifty cents, a course dinner, with wine. The wine is but +ordinary California claret, but the viands are excellently cooked and +of themselves sufficient inducement for a wight to part with half a +dollar without consideration of the wine. There are those who, in the +melancholy state that follows a disappointment in love, go without +food and drink, while others turn to undue indulgence in drink. There +are yet others, though few observers seem to have noted them, who turn +toward greater indulgence in food, seeking surcease and forgetfulness +of the pains of the heart in benefactions to the stomach. + +It was very seldom that Mr. Middleton spent so much as fifty cents +upon a meal, but the conduct of the young lady of Englewood having +deprived him of any present object for laying up money, and, moreover, +the pains of the heart before alluded to demanding the vicarious +offices of the stomach, he went to the little French restaurant the +next evening. + +It was somewhat late when he arrived and there were in the room but +two diners beside himself. These were a man and a woman, who by many +little obvious evidences made manifest that they were not husband and +wife. They had arrived at the dessert and were eating ice cream with +genteel slowness, conversing the while with great decorum. Both were +tall and fair, singularly well matched as to height and the ample and +shapely proportions of their figures, and both were well, though +quietly and even simply, dressed. They were nearly of an age, too, he +being apparently forty, and she thirty-five. Their years sat lightly +upon them, however, and if upon her face there were traces left by the +longing for the lover who had not yet come into her life, that was all +which upon either countenance betrayed that their lives had been other +than care-free and happy. Assuredly, any one would have called them a +fine looking man and woman. All this Mr. Middleton observed in a +glance or two and then addressed himself to the comestibles that were +set before him and doubtless would not have given the couple thought +again, had not the waitress at the close of the meal fluttered at his +elbows, placing the vinegar cruet and Worcestershire sauce bottle +within easy reach, which services caused Mr. Middleton to look up in +some wonder, as he was engaged with custard pie and he had never heard +of any race of men, however savage, who used vinegar and +Worcestershire sauce upon custard pie. The waitress, who was a young +woman of a pleasant and intelligent countenance, met this glance with +another compounded of mystery and communicativeness, and bending low +while she removed the vinegar and Worcestershire sauce to a new +station, murmured: + +"That man over there has been here seven nights running, with a +different woman every time." + +Mr. Middleton sitting quiet in the surprise this information caused +him, she repeated what she had said, adding, "and once he was here at +noon besides, different woman every time." + +Eight women in seven days! Certainly this was quite a curious thing. + +"Do you know who he is? Have you ever seen any of the women before?" + +"Nop. Don't know anything about him except what I have seen of him +here. Never saw any of the women before--nor since." + +Nor since. Mr. Middleton found himself asking himself if anybody had +seen any of the women since. Had the girl in this chance remark +unwittingly hit upon a terrible mystery? Nor since, nor since. + +The man who had so suddenly assumed an interest in Mr. Middleton's +eyes, arose, and going to the window, looked out at the street above, +which was spattered with a sudden shower. He began to lament that he +had not brought an umbrella and said he would go after one, when the +storm so increased in violence that even a person provided with an +umbrella--as was Mr. Middleton--would not care to venture into it, for +such was the might of the wind now filling the air with its shrieks, +that the rain swept in great lateral sheets which made an umbrella a +futile protection. Yet notwithstanding this fury of the elements, the +man of many women went out. + +A half hour went by. An hour, and the storm did not abate and the man +did not return. The good-looking waitress invited Mr. Middleton to sit +at ease by a table in a rear part of the room, where lolling on the +opposite side, with charming unconsciousness she let her hand lie +stretched more than half across the board, a rampart of crumpled +newspapers concealing it from the view of the eighth guest of the +mulierose man. But whatever Mr. Middleton had done on previous +occasions and might do on occasions yet to come, he now wished to +avoid all appearances that might cause the eighth woman to regard him +as at all inclined to other than discreet and modest conduct, for he +was resolved to find out what he could about the man and eight women. +So affecting not to note the hand temptingly disposed, he discoursed +in a voice which was plainly audible in every corner of the room, not +so much because of its loudness--for he had but little raised it--as +because of a distinct and precise enunciation. This very precision, +which always implies a regard for the rules, proprieties and amenities +of life, seemed to stamp him as a man worthy of confidence, even had +not his sentiments been of the most high-minded character. He +described the great flood of 1882, which wrought such havoc in +Missouri, in which cataclysm his Uncle Henry Perkins had suffered +great loss. He extolled the commendable conduct of his uncle in +sacrificing valuable property that he might save a woman; letting a +flatboat loaded with twenty-five hogs whirl away in the raging flood, +in order to rescue a woman from Booneville, Missouri, the wife of a +county judge, who was floating in the waste of waters upon a small red +barn. The dullest could infer from the approval he gave this act of +his Uncle Henry, unwisely chivalrous as it might seem in view of the +fact that whoever rescued the judge's wife farther down stream, would +return her to the judge, while no one would return the hogs to Mr. +Perkins--the dullest could infer from his praise that he was himself a +chivalrous and tender young man whom any woman could trust. + +The hour was become an hour and a half and both the pretty waitress +and the eighth woman had grown very fidgetty. The waitress saw she was +to beguile the tedious period of emprisonment by the tempest with no +dalliance with Mr. Middleton. The eighth woman was worried by the +absence of her escort. Mr. Middleton stepped to her side, where she +stood staring out at the wind-swept street, and addressed her. + +"Madame, it would almost seem as if some accident had detained your +escort. May I not offer to call a cab and see you home? I have an +umbrella with me." + +The lady thanked him almost eagerly, saying that she would wait +fifteen minutes more and at the elapse of that time, her escort not +appearing, would gladly avail herself of his kind offer. + +Twenty minutes later, they were whirling away northward. Crossing the +Wells Street bridge, they turned eastward only a few blocks from the +river. The rain had suddenly ceased. The wind having relaxed nothing +of its fierceness, it occasionally parted the scudding clouds high +over head to let glimpses of the moon escape from their wrack, and Mr. +Middleton saw he was in a region whence the invasion of factories and +warehouses had driven the major portion of the inhabitants forth, +leaving their dwellings untenanted, white for rent signs staring out +of the empty casements like so many ghosts. The lady signaling the +driver to stop, Mr. Middleton assisted her to alight, and glanced +about him. Here the work of exile had been very thorough. Not yet had +the factories come into this immediate neighborhood, but the residents +had retreated before the smoke of their advancing lines, leaving a +wide unoccupied space behind the rear guard. Up and down the street, +in no house could he perceive a light. The moon shining forth clear +and resplendent, its face unobstructed by clouds for a moment, he saw +stretching away house after house with white signs that grimly told +their loneliness. Indeed, quite deserted did appear the very house to +whose door they splashed through the pools in the depressions of the +tall flight of stone steps. The lady threw open the door and stepped +briskly in, and her footfalls rang sharply upon a bare floor and +resounded in a hollow echo that told it was an empty house! + +An empty house! An empty house! What danger might lurk here and how +easy might losels lure victims to their door! Mr. Middleton paused on +the threshold, staring into the gloom, but whatever irresolute +thoughts he had entertained of retreat were dispelled by the sound of +a wail from the lady, and the sight of her face, white in the +moonlight, as she rushed out to him. + +"Oh, oh," she moaned, gibbering a gush of words which, despite their +incoherence of form, in their tone proclaimed fear, consternation, and +despair. + +Lighting a match, Mr. Middleton stepped into the house. Standing in +the little circle of dull yellow light, he saw beneath his feet +windrows of dust and layers of newspapers that had rested beneath a +carpet but lately removed, and beyond, dusk emptiness, and silence. He +advanced, looking for a chandelier, but though he found two, the +incandescent globes had been removed from them. Throwing a mass of the +papers from the floor into the grate and lighting them, a bright glare +brought out every corner of the room. There was nothing but the four +bare walls. + +"They have taken everything, everything!" cried the poor lady. + +"Who?" asked Mr. Middleton, after the manner of his profession. + +"Who? Would that I knew!--Thieves." + +Mr. Middleton then realized she had been the victim of a form of +robbery far too common, where the scoundrels come with drays and carry +off the whole household equipment, in the householder's absence. That +which had been done in comparatively well-populated quarters was easy +of accomplishment on this deserted street. + +Penetrated with compassion, he moved toward the unfortunate woman, who +with an abandonment he had not expected of one so stately and +reserved, threw herself upon his breast, weeping as though her heart +would break. + +"They have taken everything. How can I get along now! My piano is gone +and how can I give lessons without it! I will have to go back to +Peoria!" + +Soothingly Mr. Middleton patted the weeping woman on the back. With +infinite tenderness, he kissed her tear-bedewed cheeks and gently he +laid her head upon his shoulder, and then with both arms clasped about +her, he imparted to her statuesque figure a sort of rocking motion, +crooning with each oscillation, "There, there, there, there," until +the paroxysm of her grief abated and passed from weeping into +gradually subsiding sobs, and he began to tell her that he would be +only too happy to give his legal services to convict the villains when +caught--as they surely would be. The lady by degrees becoming more +cheerful and giving him a description of the stolen property, he +discussed ways and means of recovering it, and to prevent her from +relapsing into her former depressed condition, occasionally imprinted +a consolatory salute upon her cheek, from which he had previously +wiped the wet tracks of the tears that had now some time ceased +gushing, for there had been a salty taste to the first osculations, +which while not actually disagreeable, had not been to his liking. + +At length, the lady not only ceased even to sigh, but even to talk, +and yet remained leaning upon him, which was whether because she was +weary, exhausted by grief, or whether because her supporter was such a +good looking young man, is not evident. Doubtless it was true that at +first her misery and unhappiness made her need the sympathetic +caresses of any one within reach and that with the return of her +equilibrium she continued to make this an excuse for enjoying without +any reproach of impropriety a recreation which ordinarily the +conventions of society would compel her to eschew. As for the rising +light in the legal profession, he began to find the weight she leant +upon him oppressive, and his occupation, delightful at first, palling +and growing monotonous. The monotony he somewhat relieved by +frequently kissing her, now on one velvet cheek, now on the other, and +again her lips; slowly, one two, three, in waltz measure; and rapidly, +one, two three, four, in two-step measure, when all at once in the +midst of a sustained half note there came to him the reflection that +this was no time of night for him to be there in the dark in a +deserted house kissing a woman with whose social standing, whose very +name, he was unacquainted. He was about to ask a few leading +questions, when there was the sound of wheels in the street; a +carriage stopped before the door. + +Quickly extricating himself from the lady's arms, Mr. Middleton +stepped to the door, only to see the carriage drive away, the sound of +voices singing a solemn chant in a strange and unknown tongue floating +back to him. Wondering what all this could mean, he turned to find the +lady standing at his side, silently regarding him in a wrapt manner. + +"The hour is late," said she, in a hollow, mournful voice, "and I +ought to be seeking some shelter where I can lay my head, but where, +oh, where?" + +The lady made a tragic gesture as she asked this question, and there +in that lonely street with this lorn woman at this late hour of the +night in the eerie light of the cloud-obscured moon, with the wind, +now howling and now sobbing and moaning, Mr. Middleton felt very +solemn indeed. But he pulled himself together and suggested a +low-priced and respectable hotel not far away, and toward this they +were faring when they passed a house which, unlike most of the others +of the vicinity, bore signs of habitation, and unlike any of the +others, had a light showing in a window. In fact, there was a light in +every window of the two upper stories and in the windows of the first +floor and even in the basement. Pausing to wonder at this unusual +illumination, Mr. Middleton felt his arm suddenly clutched, and a +voice which he would never have believed came from the lady, if there +had been any one else present, grated into his ear, "It's him." + +Though startled by this enigmatical utterance, he followed when she +ascended two steps of the stoop for a better view in the uncurtained +window. There, with his face buried in his hands, seated on a roll of +carpeting with a tack hammer and saucer of tacks at his side, sat the +mulierose man! + +"This house was empty at four this afternoon," said the lady. +"Heavens, that's my piano in the corner! That's my center table! I +believe that's my carpet! That's my watercolor painting I painted +myself! _He's_ robbed me!" + +Her voice rose to a shriek, and at the sound a woman's head popped out +of the window above and the mulierose man came running to the door. He +was in his shirt sleeves but wore a hat. + +"You've robbed me, you've robbed me!" cried the lady. + +"I haven't," said the mulierose man with the utmost composure. "I can +explain it all satisfactorily. Come in. My Aunt Eliza is here and tea +is ready. Where were you when I went back to the restaurant? They said +you had gone. Where were you?" + +To Mr. Middleton's surprise, the lady immediately quieted at the words +of the mulierose man and instead of berating him, coughed nervously +and hung her head sheepishly. + +"Where were you?" repeated the man. + +"At my house." + +"All this time? With this young man?" There was a tinge of hardness +and jealousy in the man's voice and he looked unpleasantly at Mr. +Middleton. "What did you stay in that empty house all this time for? +What-were-you-doing-there?" + +Mr. Middleton was at his wit's end to supply a hypothesis to answer +why the mulierose man, from being a criminal and object of the lady's +just wrath, should suddenly have become an inquisitor, sitting in +judgment upon her conduct. + +"I--I--was afraid to start right away. It was dark in there and I was +afraid this young man might take liberties. Indeed, he did try to kiss +me." + +With a roar, the mulierose man launched himself at Mr. Middleton, who +dexterously stepping aside, had the satisfaction of seeing his +assailant slip and fall on the wet sidewalk. The lady thereat raised a +cry of great volume, which was taken up by the woman looking out of +the window above, and Mr. Middleton thinking he could derive neither +pleasure nor profit from remaining longer in that locality, fled +incontinently. + +Upon his arrival home and preparing for bed, he found that he was +wearing a stiff hat made in Kansas City, bearing on the sweat-band a +silver plate inscribed "George W. Dobson." The mulierose man and he +had exchanged hats at the restaurant. The mulierose man now had the +love philter. + +It was not until four days had elapsed that Mr. Middleton found an +opportunity to visit the street where these inexplicable events took +place. The house where he had comforted the eighth woman was still +empty. At the house whence the mulierose man had issued, a very +unprepossessing old woman, with a teapot in her right hand, was +opening the front door to admit a large yellow cat whom she addressed +as "Mahoney," an appellation which, while not infrequently the family +name of persons of Irish birth or descent, is of very seldom +application to members of the domestic cat tribe, Felis cattus. + +Wondering greatly at the chain of unusual events, he went about his +business. You may depend upon it that he gave much thought to an +attempted solution of all these mysteries. But whether or no it was +after all only a series of events commonplace in themselves, but +seeming mysterious because of their fortuitous concatenation, or he +really had trodden upon the hem of a web of strange and darksome, +perhaps appalling, mysteries, he has never been able to say. He was +minded to speak of these things to the emir and get his opinion on +them. Upon reflection, remembering how the philter had not been of any +avail in the case of the young lady of Englewood, he thought, despite +the explanation which might be offered for this failure, that the emir +might be embarrassed at hearing of the failure of the charm, and +accordingly he said nothing when once more he sat in the presence of +the urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having +handed him a bowl of delicately flavored sherbet, Achmed began to +narrate The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman. + + + + +_The Unpleasant Adventure of the Faithless Woman._ + + +Dr. August Moehrlein, Ph. D., was a professor of the languages and +religions of India. A man of great gravity of countenance and of +impressive port, he was popularly reputed to have a complete knowledge +of the occult learning of the adepts of India, that nebulous and +mysterious philosophy which irreducible to the laws of nature as +recognized by Occidentals, is by them pronounced either magic and +feared as such, or ridiculed and despised as pretentious mummery and +deluding prestidigitation. There was a legend among the students of +his department that he was wont to project himself into the fourth +dimension and thus traveling downtown, effect a substantial saving of +street-car fare. This is clearly impossible, for the yogis do not thus +move about in their own persons. It is only the astral self that flies +leagues through the air with the rapidity of thought, only the +spiritual essence, the living man's ghost flying abroad while the +living man's corpse lies inanimate at home. But even this, Dr. August +Moehrlein could not do, for the yogis do not initiate men of Western +nations into their mysteries. Dr. Moehrlein's knowledge of the occult +of India was wholly empirical. He knew that certain things were done +and could recount them, but as to how they were done, he could tell +nothing. It must not be thought that of all the marvelous and +awe-compelling things the yogis of India are accustomed to do, none +can be assigned to any other origin than cunning legerdemain and +hypnotism, or to the exercise of supernatural powers. Many of them are +due to a strange and wonderful knowledge of nature which the science +of the Occident has not yet reached in all its boasted advance. Yet +when once explained, the Westerner understands some of these phenomena +and is able to repeat them. Into this region of the penumbra of +science and exact knowledge the researches of Dr. Moehrlein had taken +him a little way and it was this that had gained him his reputation +among his pupils as a thaumaturgist. + +Along with the learning which this country has imported from Germany +have come some customs to which the savants of both that country and +this ascribe a certain fostering influence, if not a creative impulse, +highly advantageous to the national scholarship. It is the habit of +the university men of Germany to foregather of nights in the genial +pursuit of drinking beer, and many of the notable theories which +German scholarship has propounded are to be directly attributed to +this stimulating good fellowship known as kommers. Indeed, when one +has imbibed twelve or fourteen steins of beer and sat in an atmosphere +of tobacco smoke for some hours, his mind attains a clarity, a sense +of proportion, a power of reflection, speculation, and intuition which +enables him to evolve those notable theories for which German +scholarship is so famous. It is under the intellectual stimulus of the +kommers, when the foam lies thick in the steins and blue clouds of +tobacco smoke roll overhead, that the great classical scholars of +Germany perceive that the classical epics, the Iliad, the Odyssey, the +Aeneid, are but the typifying of the rolling of the clouds in the +empyrean, the warfare of the foam-crested waves dashing upon the land, +that the metamorphoses and amours of the gods and all the myths of the +elder world, are but the mutations of the clouds and the fanciful +figures they take on and the metamorphoses and hurryings of the +ever-changing sea with its foam forms and the shadows that lie across +its unquiet surface. Wonderful indeed is the scientific imagination +that thus accounts for, classifies, and labels the imagination of the +poets, which otherwise we might think a thing defying classification, +an inspiration, a creative genius taking nothing from a dim suggestion +of the cold clouds and sea, but weaving its tales from the suggestion +of human lives and human passions. Wonderful indeed is the good sense +of the rest of the world in accepting unquestioned these important +discoveries of German scholars in the beer kellars, which well might +be called the laboratories of the classical department of the German +universities. + +Dr. August Moehrlein was a staunch advocate of the advantage of the +kommers as an adjunct to every thoroughly organized university. If he +could not gather others for a kommers, he would hold a kommers all by +himself, or perchance with the barkeeper. Needless to say that the +name of Moehrlein was attached to many valuable and plausible theories +which America received as the last word on the subject treated; +needless to tell you that the various gods of India had been +identified with the sun, moon, and more important stars, and that it +was conclusively shown that the Sanskrit romancers had written their +tales by merely looking at the clouds and the sea. Would that this +accomplishment of the ancients had not gone from us and that the +moderns might write as the ancients by merely looking at the clouds +and the sea. Dr. Moehrlein was an upholder of the kommers. But his +wife, though German-born, behaved like a very Philistine and objected +to his constant and unwavering attendance upon these occasions of +intellectual uplift. For as the doctor added to the knowledge of the +world, he added to his weight. He had identified Brahma with the sun, +but had drunk his face purple in the intellectual effort. In his +search for the suggestions of the tale of Nala, he had acquired a +paunch very like a bag. Mrs. Moehrlein was accustomed to shrink from +the approach of the victim of the pursuit of knowledge. As for him, he +would have liked to caress and fondle her. To him there was always +present a remembrance of her early beauty and the golden mist of +memory shone before his eyes and he did not see that she was a heavy, +middle-aged woman with coarse features and coarse figure. Animal +beauty she had once had. The beauty had utterly flown, but the animal +all remained. She had a shifty and wandering eye, burned out and +lusterless, that told of dreams that were of men, men who these many +years had not included her husband, grotesque figure that he was, ugly +as a satyr in one of the myths suggested by the clouds and the sea. + +It was a pleasant day of the last of May, in the mating season of +birds, when the world was warm and throbbing with young life. The +eminent Asiatic scholar looked across the lunch table, regarding his +wife with wistful sadness as she refreshed herself with boiled +cabbage. + +"Do you know the day? It is thirty years since Hilsenhoff went into +the box; thirty years since we have been man and--woman." + +"Ah, yes, this is the anniversary. Thirty years, thirty years. Poor +young Hilsenhoff." + +She said these words with a tinge of sadness that was almost regret +and this did not escape the doctor. + +"One might fancy you were sorry. Yet it was your own doing. I was +young and handsome then. A Hercules, young, full of life, late +champion swordsman of the university, a rising light in the realm of +learning, as well as a figure in society. You were the beautiful wife +of tutor Hilsenhoff, the buxom girl with the form of a Venus and the +passion of that goddess as well, tied to a thin, pallid bookworm ten +years your senior, neglecting his pouting wife with blood full of fire +for the pages of the literature of Hindoostan, prating of the loves of +Ganesha and Vishnu, when a goddess awaited his own neglectful arms. So +when on the day when he stepped into the box, leaving us the sole +repository of the secret of his whereabouts--that the mutton-headed +police might not interfere with the success of his experiment by +preventing what they might think practically suicide--you said to let +him stay." + +"I was twenty and he thirty," mused the woman. "Poor young +Hilsenhoff." + +"Young! I was twenty-three--and a man." + +"Dead or alive, he is young Hilsenhoff to me. He was thirty when last +I saw him." + +"Dead or alive? What are you thinking of?" + +An idea had been taking shape in the woman's mind without her +realizing it. It had grown from her own words, rather than had the +words sprung from the idea. + +"Why, if a man be brought into a condition where all bodily functions +are suspended and he is as he were dead, and remain in this condition +for months and be brought out of it no more harmed than if he had +slept overnight, why may it not be years, instead of months? Has any +man ever proved that, in this condition, one may not live on +indefinitely?" she said. + +"No man has ever proved that one cannot, but what is more important, +no man has ever proved that one can. No man has ever proved beyond +shadow of doubt that one may not fashion wings and fly, but no man has +ever demonstrated that one can. In India, only one man has ever tried +to continue in a state of suspended animation for over six months, and +that was the rajah who, condemned to death by the English, ostensibly +died before the soldiers could come to carry out the sentence and was +brought out of his tomb and restored to life three days after a new +British viceroy had proclaimed a general amnesty to all past +offenders. The period was eight months. If the viceroys had not been +changed for a number of years, we might have learned more concerning +the length of the period in which a man may continue in the semblance +of death without it becoming reality. No, these twenty-five years has +Hilsenhoff been bones." + +"Then let us take them out and bury them." + +"No, no. Then would I feel like a murderer indeed. I left him in there +for you. Now let his bones rest there for sake of me." + +But the woman had become possessed of an idea which in turn possessed +her, a dream, for which like all mankind, she would fight harder than +for any substantiality, for no reality can be so glorious as a dream. + +"But there was the man at Sutlej, the man who had himself buried in a +wheat field for the edification of Alexander the Great, there to +remain until a wheat crop had passed through its stages from sowing +until harvest." + +"The man at Sutlej!" exclaimed the doctor impatiently. "That a man was +thus buried, the pages of Quintus Curtius's history show, and the +Macedonian armies suddenly retreating from India, he was forgotten and +not one, but two thousand wheat harvests have been garnered over his +burial place." + +"But the article in the _Revue Des Deux Mondes_, telling how he had +been found," objected the woman faintly. + +The doctor looked at her in amazement. + +"What will not people do to believe that which they wish to believe. +You, you, you!--do you ask me concerning that lie in the _Revue Des +Deux Mondes_? Oh, woman, woman! When did your memory of the details of +that hoax fail you? Not longer ago than ten minutes. A lying Frenchman +said he was on his way to France with a resuscitated contemporary of +Alexander the Great and that a full account of the matter would be +published in two or three months. Hilsenhoff left the duration of his +stay in the box at my discretion, enjoining me, however, that he +should not be taken out before the Frenchman had published the full +account of the Sutlej case, for we would then have many interesting +comparisons in his behavior and response to the restorative methods +used, and the reaction and response of this man buried two thousand +years to the same methods for restoring suspended animation. The +Frenchman never arrived with his man. It was all a lie. Yet by +following Hilsenhoff's solemn injunctions to the letter, we had an +excuse to leave him as dead, and you insisted that we should do so, +and I, weak and infatuated with your ripe beauty, I agreed. You said +that we would leave him in his self-chosen sleep and that he should be +our lodger. And so he has been and we have never called him to +breakfast in all these thirty years. We have even brought him to +America with us and he sleeps. Ah, no, we did not slay him. We but +obeyed his commands." + +"Poor young Hilsenhoff. And I am his wife and he is but thirty years +old and I am fifty. Heigho!" + +"Woman, you will drive me crazy," said the great annotator of the +Upanishads, and he left for a kommers with the nearest barkeeper. + +"As if you did not drive me crazy, you obese, misshapen wine skin! you +bloated, blue-faced sot!" said the woman. "I deserted young Hilsenhoff +for you, Hilsenhoff with his delicate cheeks and his soft yellow hair, +and he is mine and I am his and I will let him out of the box and we +will live together in love, the dear young thing. What if he does +study sometimes? I shall not mind. He need not always sit with me in +love's dalliance." + +All at once it came home to her that if Moehrlein maintained the +resuscitation of Hilsenhoff was impossible and charged her with +believing it possible because she wished to believe it so, it might +also be true that he did not believe it possible because he did not +wish to so believe. The burned out eyes that told of dreams of men, +men who these many years had not included her husband, smoldered with +a sudden fire. With a song in her heart, she was up and bustling +about. She filled a brazier with coals and got a frying-pan and +wheat-cake batter, and a razor and a crocheting hook--ah, she knew how +the process of restoring suspended animation was practised. She +lumbered up into the third story with her burdens, into the room where +slept the lodger. Not for fifteen years had anyone looked into that +sleeping chamber. The blinds and curtains, all were drawn, the dust +lay thick under foot. She let in the light of day at every window. +There sat the box in the middle of the floor, hooped with bands of +iron and with the great seal of the University of Bonn stamped upon +the lock. She broke the seal and turned the lock and then sank down in +a sudden faintness of heart. Indeed, how loath she was to put an end +to the dream that had just now filled her whole being with rapture, +and what else would it be but to put an end to it when she delved into +that box? She would go away and let herself dream on a few days more +before putting the matter to its final test, perhaps never doing so. +Thus she reasoned, and yet her hand, as she sat before the box with +averted face, rose as if impelled by the volition of another +intelligence, over the edge of the box, down to the mass of wool and +wadding, through it to the wrappings and swathings in the middle, +through the wrapping, and felt--the thrill of unimaginable joy ran +through her. It was not bones, it was not bones! + +Into the room of the lodger came Dr. August Moehrlein. The coals of +the brazier were out, the batter had been turned into cakes, the razor +was covered with hair, four waxen plugs lay by the crocheting hook. +The process was over. The sleeper was awake and there he stood, his +delicate face yet pinched with sleep and his eyes heavy, but alive and +young, young Hilsenhoff with his soft yellow hair and mild blue eyes. +On the floor before him in an attitude of adoration, knelt the woman +who in the view of the law, was his wife, her eyes burned out no +longer, but aflash with youthful passion. But in her eyes alone was +there youth. Nothing of youthful archness and coquetry was there in +her gaze, only greed, the sickening fondness of an aging woman for a +young man. In a daze, he stared at her and heard her clumsy +compliments, her vulgar protestations of love, things which the ripe +beauty of her youth might have condoned, but now were nauseating. He +saw her heavy jowls and sensual lips, the thick nose and all the +revenges of time upon a once beautiful body that had clothed an ugly +soul. He looked at his own rusty clothing, stiff and hard and creased +in a thousand wrinkles, and into the mildewed nest where the mould +from the moisture of his own body grew thick and green and horrible. +He gazed at Dr. Moehrlein, the one-time Adonis of Bonn, and he +shuddered, and which of what he looked at, or whether all, made him do +so, he could not tell. + +Old men like young women, but so do old women hanker after young men. +The life companion of Moehrlein embraced Hilsenhoff's knees. With +smirkings and grimacings and leers that started his shudders afresh, +she told him all. She confessed her crime and abased herself, but now +they would begin life again, and she croaked forth a string of +allurements from a throat that had known too many rich puddings. Oh, +who shall describe her transports! Never before had every fiber of her +being been so penetrated with joy! A young husband, oh, a young +husband! By as much as Moehrlein had once surpassed him, did +Hilsenhoff now surpass Moehrlein a hundred fold. And young, young, +young! She was like to fall on her face in her ecstasy. The discarded +and despised Moehrlein stood by and paid, if never before, the price +of his villainy. There is a contempt of man for man and a contempt of +woman for woman, but the contempt of woman for man---- + +One sleeps and is unconscious, but nonetheless by some subtle sense is +aware of the passage of time, and the thirty years that he had slept, +pressed upon young Hilsenhoff and his soul yearned to take up life +again. He looked at the companions of his youth, that youth which was +still his and had gone from them, and he looked at the place where he +had lain for a third of a century, thick with damp green mould. +Outside the song of birds was calling him, the rustle of green leaves +and the glorious sunlight, the world renewing its life with the warm +throbs of the year's youth, and putting from him forever his living +grave and the woman and her paramour, he rushed into the joyous +springtide. + +Now why, my friend, descend into the hell of repinings and rage and +heart-gnawings of that woman he left behind? Or why tell of the misery +of the learned Dr. Moehrlein? She has no comfort whatsoever, but the +doctor has the solace of his kommers, so let us wish that his beer may +be forever flat, his wieners mildewy, and the mustard mouldy like the +horrible nest of young Hilsenhoff. + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Seventh Gift of the Emir._ + + +"I did not know that such things were possible," said Mr. Middleton, +when Prince Achmed had concluded the tale of the episode of the two +Orientalists and the faithless woman. "Do I understand that the person +in this condition is asleep?" + +"It is not consistent with strict scientific accuracy to say the +person is asleep," said the emir; "for the vital processes are +entirely in abeyance and the subject is devoid of any evidence of +life. The pulse is still, for the heart no longer beats and all the +blood having retreated to that inmost citadel of the body, the skin +has the pallor of death. Only in a little spot upon the crown is there +any sign of life. Here is a place warm to the touch and the first and +most important operation in restoring the suspended animation, is to +send this vital warmth forth from where it still feebly simmers, +coursing once more through the body's shrunken channels. This is +accomplished by shaving the crown and applying thereto a succession of +piping hot pancakes. The tongue has been curved back over the entrance +to the throat. You reach into the mouth and with a finger pull the +tongue back into place. Plugs of wax in the nostrils and ears are +removed, and in a very short time the subject is as well as ever." + +"It is very interesting," murmured Mr. Middleton. + +"Since you find it so, let me present you with a little treatise upon +the subject written by a Mohammedan hakim, or doctor of medicine, +after studying several cases of the kind at Madras, which is in +India," and at his bidding, Mesrour brought him a small portable +writing desk from which he took a manuscript scroll inscribed in the +Arabic language. "The first page," said Prince Achmed, "contains a few +thoughts upon the superiority of the Moslem faith over all others and +a discussion of the follies, inconsistencies, not to say evils of them +all when compared with that perfect religious system declared to men +by the Prophet of Mecca," and having in an orotund voice given Mr. +Middleton some idea of the contents of this page by quoting a number +of sentences, the prince handed him the sheet, which was inscribed +upon one side only. The emir continuing to give a summary of what the +hakim set forth in the remaining pages, and handing over each sheet as +he finished it, Mr. Middleton wrote in short-hand upon the blank side +of each preceding sheet what the emir culled from the one following, +omitting, of course, the contents of the first sheet, both because he +had nothing to write upon while the emir was quoting from that one, +and because its theology was entirely contrary to all Mr. Middleton +held, and, in his eyes, ridiculous and sacrilegious. When the emir had +done, Mr. Middleton had in his possession a succinct account of the +process of inducing a condition of suspended animation and of the +means of restoring the subject to his normal state. It was his +intention to write an article from his notes for some Sunday paper, +and putting the hakim's treatise in his pocket, and thanking his host +for the entertainment and instruction as well as the gift, he sought +his lodgings. + +Mr. Middleton had now been admitted to the bar for some time. But the +firm of Brockelsby and Brockman did not therefore raise his salary. +They made greater demands upon his endeavors than before, for he was +now able to handle cases in court, but they did not raise his salary, +nor did they employ him upon cases where he was able to distinguish +himself, or learn new points of law and gain forensic ability. He was +employed upon humdrum and commonplace cases that were a vexation to +his spirit without any compensating advantage of pecuniary reward or +experience. While he felt that his self-respect and on one hand his +self-interests impelled him to resign his connection with Brockelsby +and Brockman, on the other hand, the very course his employers pursued +made such retirement temporarily inexpedient. For the trivial cases he +handled could neither gain him reputation enough or make him friends +enough to warrant him in setting up for himself, nor would they +attract the attention of other firms and result in offers at an +increased salary. He was in a measure forced to remain with Brockelsby +and Brockman, hoping they would be moved to pay him according to his +worth and dreaming of some contingency which might place in his hands +the management of an important case with the resulting enhancing of +his reputation. + +On the morning after he had received the dissertation of the hakim, +Mr. Middleton arose with the first streak of dawn, minded to seek the +office and write his projected article before the time for his regular +duties should arrive. As he opened the door of the main office, his +ear was saluted by a low grunting sound, and there in evening dress +was Mr. Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby, reclining in a big chair, asleep, +if one could with propriety call the stupor in which he was sunk, +sleep. The disorder of his garments, the character of his +sternutations, the redness of his face, and above all, the odor he +distilled upon the chill morning air, made patent to Mr. Middleton the +disgusting fact that the senior member of the firm was drunk. On the +table before the unconscious man was a note from Mr. Brockman +informing him that he had been unexpectedly called to Lansing, +Michigan, and would not be back for a week and that therefore he, +Brockelsby, would have to attend to the important case of Ralston +versus Hippenmeyer, all by himself. Mr. Middleton at once set about +bringing his employer into a condition where he could attend to his +affairs, for the case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer was a very +important one indeed, and as Mr. Middleton had briefed the case +himself and had his sympathies greatly excited for Johannes +Hippenmeyer, he was very anxious that their client should not lose for +default of any effort he could make. But his heart was heavy as he +brought towels and a basin of cold water from the wash-room, for after +he had done his very best, Brockelsby would still be far from the +proper form, his brain befogged, his speech thick, and the counsel for +the other side would make short work of him. + +Mr. Middleton had never tried to sober a drunken man, but he had an +indistinct recollection of hearing that a towel wet with cold water, +wrapped around the head was the best remedial agent. As he soaked the +towels, he could not but compare the difference between this chill +restorative and the hot cakes in the tale of the emir, and on a sudden +there came to him a thought that sent all the gloom from his face. He +dropped the towels, he dropped the basin, and he opened the treatise +of the hakim and feverishly refreshed his memory of the details of an +operation sometimes practised in India. + +An hour and a half had passed when Mr. Middleton finished. Mr. +Augustus Brockelsby still sat in the revolving chair, but he was no +longer disturbing the air with his unseemly grunts. He was, in fact, +absolutely silent, absolutely still. The keenest touch could feel no +pulsation in his wrist, the keenest eye could detect no agitation of +his chest, the keenest ear could hear no beating from the region of +the heart. For a moment as he gazed upon the result of following the +instructions set down by the hakim, Mr. Middleton felt a little clutch +of fear. But he was reassured by the lifelike appearance of the +learned jurisconsult and by the fact that the induction into his +present state had been attended by none of the manifestations that +accompany death. + +"Now," said Mr. Middleton, addressing the unconscious form of Augustus +Brockelsby, "now there will be no chance of you appearing in court in +the case of Ralston versus Hippenmeyer. I will not restore you until +it is all over. I will now have the long coveted opportunity to plead +an important case and as I have studied it so carefully, I shall win. +There will now be no chance that poor little Hippenmeyer will suffer +from your disgraceful and bestial habits, for in spite of the best +that could be done for you, you would be in no fit condition to plead +a case this afternoon. And when I bring you to at fall of night, you +will think you have been drunk all day. But where will I keep you in +the meantime?" + +This was a most perplexing problem. There were no closets in the suite +of offices. There were no boxes, no desks big enough to conceal a man +and Mr. Middleton's brow was beginning to contract as he struggled +with the problem, when suddenly the stillness of the room was +disturbed by some one smiting the door. Not a sound made he, for his +heart had stopped beating as completely as Brockelsby's. What should +he do, what should he do? The paralysis of fear answered for him and +supplied the best present plan and he did nothing. Then came a voice, +a voice calling him by name, the voice of Chauncy Stackelberg. + +"Open up, old man, open up. I know you are there, for I heard you +knocking around before I rapped and you dropped your handkerchief +outside the door. Open up, or I'll shin right over the transom, for I +must see you," and still preserving silence, Mr. Middleton heard a +sound as of a man essaying to stand on the door knob and grasp the +transom above. He rushed to the door, unlocked it, and opening it just +enough to squeeze through, shut it behind him and thrust the key in +the lock. + +"Keep still, keep still. You'll wake the old man. I can't let you in." + +"Was that him, slumped down in the chair? Must be tired to sleep in +that position. Say, old chap, you were my best man, and now I want you +again." + +"Want me to draw up papers for a divorce?" said Mr. Middleton, +gloomily. How was he going to get rid of this inopportune fellow? + +"Shut up," said Chauncy Stackelberg. "It's a boy, and I want you to +come up to the christening next Sunday and be godfather. You don't +know how happy I am. Say, come on down and get a drink." + +Ten minutes before, Mr. Middleton had been convinced that drink was a +very great curse, but he accepted this invitation with alacrity, +naming a saloon two blocks away as the one he considered best in that +vicinity. He surmised that the happy father would hardly offer to come +back with him from such a distance, and the surmise was correct. As he +reascended to the office, with him in the elevator were two gentlemen, +one of whom he recognized as Dr. Angus McAllyn, a celebrated surgeon +who had two or three times come to the office to see Mr. Brockelsby +and the other as Dr. Lucius Darst, a young eye and ear specialist who +within the space of but a few days had established his office in the +building. To neither of these gentlemen, however, was Mr. Middleton +known. + +"I want you to get off on this floor with me," said Dr. McAllyn to his +medical confrere. "I may want your assistance a bit. You see," he went +on, as they got out of the elevator and started down the corridor with +Mr. Middleton just behind, "we had a banquet last night of the Society +of Andrew Jackson's Wars, and my friend Brockelsby got too much +aboard. He was turned over to me to take to his home, but just as we +were leaving, I received an urgent call. So the best I could do was to +drive by here and start him toward his office and go on. He could +navigate after a fashion and doubtless spent the night all right in +his office, and I would take no farther trouble with him but for the +fact that he has an important case to-day. So I want to fix him up, +and as I haven't much time, you can be of service to me." + +"Ah, ha," said Mr. Middleton to himself, "I'll just lie low until they +have given up trying to get in and have gone." + +But they did not go away. To his consternation, they opened the door +and walked in, for though he had put the key in the lock when he had +closed the door behind him to parley with Chauncy Stackelberg, he had +walked away without turning it! They would find Mr. Brockelsby! Great +though Dr. McAllyn was, he would hardly be likely to recognize a +condition of suspended animation. Unless Mr. Middleton confessed, +there was danger that the famous forensic orator would be buried +alive. And if he confessed, what would the consequences be to himself? +The fact that in whatever event he would lose his place and be a +marked and disgraced man, was the very least thing to consider. He was +threatened with far more serious dangers than that. First, there would +be the vengeance the law would take upon him for meddling with and +tampering with medical matters. But even if he had been a physician, +would the medical faculty look otherwise than with horror upon this +rash and wanton experimenting with the strange and unholy practices of +India? Even a medical man would be arrested for malpractice and for +depriving a fellow being of the use of his faculties. The penitentiary +stared him in the face. + +He could not endure not to know what was taking place within. He must +have knowledge of everything in order to know what moves to make and +when to make them. He let himself through the outer door of Mr. +Brockman's private office, and by taking a position by the door +communicating between this office and the main office, he could hear +everything in safety. + +"Shall I send for an undertaker?" asked Dr. Darst. + +At these chilling words, Mr. Middleton was about to open the private +office door and rush in and confess all. He had begun to place the key +in the lock, when a joyful thought stayed his hand. Let them bury Mr. +Brockelsby. He would dig him up. He laughed noiselessly in his intense +relief. But hark, what does he hear? + +"Darst, this is an unusual case." + +"Yes?" said Dr. Darst mildly. + +"A strange, a remarkable case. Darst, if we do not examine this case, +we are traitors to science. Darst, we must take him to the medical +school. When we are through, we'll sew him all again and bring him +back here, or leave him almost any place where he can be found easily. +He will be just as good to bury then as now, nobody hurt, and the +cause of science advanced. Observe, Darst, dead, absolutely dead, yet +with no rigor mortis. Dead, and yet as if he slept. If need be, we +will pursue to the inmost recesses of his being the secret of his +demise." + +Mr. Middleton was nigh to falling to the floor. The succession of hope +and fear had taken from him all resolution. Of what use would it be to +exhume Mr. Brockelsby after the doctors had cut him up? The impulse to +rush in and confess had spent itself and he was now cravenly drifting +with the tide. All judgment, all power of reflection had departed from +him. He was now only a pitiable wretch with scarcely strength to stand +by the door and listen, unable to originate any thought, any action. + +"How are you going to get him out of here?" asked Dr. Darst. + +"In a box. You don't suppose I'd carry him down and put him in a +hack?" + +"But suppose they get to looking for him? It is known that he came +here. A box goes out of here to be taken to the medical school, a long +box that might hold a man. You and I are the ones who hire the men who +carry the box." + +"Who said a long box that might hold a man? It will be a short, rather +tall box, packing-case shape. Remember, he is as limber as you are and +can be accommodated to any position. He will be put in it sitting bolt +upright. It will be only half the length of a man, with nothing in its +shape to suggest that it might hold a man. Who said take it to the +medical school from here? I hire a drayman to take a box to the Union +Depot. He dumps it there on the sidewalk near the places for in-going +and out-going baggage. Ostensibly going to carry it as excess baggage. +We fiddle around until he goes, then call up some other drayman in the +crowd hanging about and take a box just arrived from Milwaukee, St. +Paul, any place the drayman wants to think, out to the college. As for +the inquiry that will be made concerning the whereabouts of +Brockelsby, rest easy on that point. He frequently goes off on sprees +of several days' duration and his absence from home is of such common +occurrence that his wife won't begin to hunt him up until we are +through with him and have got him back here, or have dumped him in +front of some building with his neck broken, showing that he fell out +of some story above." + +All this Mr. Middleton heard as he leaned against the door jamb, +swallowing, swallowing, with never a thing in his mouth since the +night before, yet swallowing. He heard Dr. Darst go after a box. He +heard men deposit it in the corridor outside. He heard the two doctors +take it in when the men had gone. He heard it go heavily out into the +corridor again after a long interval. He heard more men come, come to +carry it away, and he pulled himself together with a supreme effort +and followed. He saw the box loaded on a dray. With his eye constantly +on it, he threaded his way through the crowd on the sidewalk, followed +it on its way across the river to the Union Depot. With never a hope +in his heart that anything could possibly occur to save him from a +final confession and its consequences, humanlike postponing the evil +hour as long as he could. + +The box was dumped upon the sidewalk before the depot. The two medical +men stood leaning upon it, waiting for the drayman to depart. The evil +moment had arrived. Once away from the depot, in the less congested +streets in the direction of the medical college, the dray would go too +fast for him to follow. He approached. He must speak now. No, no. He +need not follow the dray. That was not necessary. He could get to the +medical school before they could have time to do injury to Mr. +Brockelsby. It would be safe to let the box get out of his sight for +that little time. He would tell at the medical college. + +"Yes, as soon as we get him there," said Dr. McAllyn, "we'll put him +in the pickle." + +Mr. Middleton sprang forward and put an appealing hand upon the +shoulder of either doctor. With a sudden start that caused him to +start in turn, each wheeled about. For a moment, he could say nothing +and stood with palsied lips while they gave back his stare. Gave back +his stare? All at once his mouth came open and these were the words he +heard issue forth: + +"Sirs, I arrest you for stealing the body of Mr. Augustus Alfonso +Brockelsby, attorney-at-law." + +He who had just now been an abject, grovelling wretch, was of a sudden +come to be a lord among men. The practitioners making no reply, he +continued: + +"Are you going to be sensible enough to make no trouble, or shall I +have to call yonder officer?" + +Mr. Middleton considered this quite a master stroke. By the assumption +of a pretended authority over the neighboring policeman he would +forestall any possibility of resistance and question as to what +authority he represented. But he need have had no fears on this score. +The doctors were too alarmed to do otherwise than submit to his +pleasure, too thoroughly convinced that none but a detective could +have had knowledge of the contents of the box. But Dr. McAllyn did +attach a significance to what Mr. Middleton had said, a significance +natural to one so well acquainted with the devious ways of the great +city as he was. + +"Well," he said, with a sardonic smile, "you needn't call in help. We +stand pat. How much is it going to cost us?" + +Then did Mr. Middleton perceive he was delivered from a dilemma, a +dilemma unforeseen, but which even if foreseen, he could not have +forearmed against. After he had arrested the doctors, how would he +have disposed of them and the box containing Mr. Brockelsby? How could +he have released the doctors and carried off the box in a manner that +would not excite their suspicions? If he had, in pretended leniency +and soft-heartedness told them they were free, the absence of any +apparent motive for this action would have instantly caused them to +suspect that for some unknown and probably unrighteous reason, he +desired possession of the body of Mr. Brockelsby and thus would ensue +a series of complications that would make the ruse of the arrest but a +leap from the frying pan into the fire. But now Dr. McAllyn had +supplied the motive. + +"Sirs," said Mr. Middleton, with an air of virtue that was well suited +to the character of the sentiments he now began to enunciate, "you +deserve punishment. You have been taken in the act of committing a +crime that is particularly revolting,--stealing a corpse. Dr. McAllyn, +you have been apprehended in foul treason against friendship. You have +stolen the body of a comrade. You have meditated cruel and shocking +mutilation of this body, giving to the horror-stricken eyes of the +frantic widow the mangled and defaced flesh that was once the goodly +person of her husband, leaving her to waste her life in vain and +terrible speculations as to where and how he encountered this awful +death with its so dreadful wounds." + +"It was for the sake of science," interpolated Dr. McAllyn, in no +little indignation. "If from the insensible clay of the dead we may +learn that which will save suffering and prolong existence for the +living, well may we disregard the ancient and ridiculous sentiment +regarding corpses, a relic of the ancient heathen days when it was +believed that this selfsame body of this life was worn again in +another world." + +"I will not engage in an antiquarian discussion with you, sir, as to +the origin of this sentiment. Suffice to say it exists and is one of +the most powerful sentiments that rules mankind. You have attempted to +violate it, to outrage it. However you may look upon your action, the +penitentiary awaits you. Yet one can well hesitate to pronounce the +word that condemns a fellow man to that living death. It is not the +mere punishment itself. The dragging years will pass, but what will +you be when they have passed? We no longer brand the persons of +convicts, but none the less does the iron sear their souls and none +the less does the world see with its mind's eye the scorched word +'convict' on their brows, so long as they live. In the capacity of +judge, were I one, I might use such limit of discretion as the law +allows in making your punishment lighter or heavier, but the disgrace +of it, no one can mitigate. Therefore, that you may receive some +measure of the punishment you deserve, and yet not be blasted for +life, I will accept a monetary consideration and set you free." + +"Oh, you will, will you?" said Dr. McAllyn. "How much lighter or +heavier will you in your capacity as judge make this impost?" + +"I will not take my time in replying to your slurs in kind. You, Dr. +McAllyn, as the one primarily responsible, as the leader who induced +Dr. Darst to enter this conspiracy, as the one most to be reproached, +in that Mr. Brockelsby was your friend, as the one by far the most +able to pay, you shall pay $1,200. Dr. Darst shall pay $200. This is a +punishment by no means commensurate with your crime. By this forfeit, +shall you escape prison and disgrace." + +"Of course you know that I have no such sum as that about me," said +Dr. McAllyn. "I will write you a check." + +"I am not so green as I look," said Mr. Middleton, assuming an easy +sitting posture upon the box containing the mortal envelope of Mr. +Brockelsby. "You may dispatch Dr. Darst with a check to get the money +for you and himself. You will remain here as a hostage until his +return." + +Accordingly, Dr. Darst departed and Mr. Middleton sat engrossed in +reflection upon the chain of unpleasant circumstances that had forced +upon him the unavoidable and distasteful role of a bribe-taker. Yet +how else could he have carried off the part he had assumed? How else +could he have obtained custody of Mr. Brockelsby? And surely the +doctors richly deserved punishment. It was not meet that they should +go scot free and in no other way could he bring it about that +retribution should be visited upon them. + +"It is all here," said Mr. Middleton, when he had counted the bills +brought by Dr. Darst. "I shall now see that Mr. Brockelsby is taken +back to the office whence you took him." + +"Pardon me," said Dr. Darst, "how in the world did you know we took +him from his office? How did you ferret it all out?" + +"I cannot tell you that," said Mr. Middleton. "I shall take him back +to the office. He will be found there later in the day, just as you +found him. You are wise enough to make no inquiries concerning him, to +watch for no news of developments. Indeed, to make in some measure an +alibi, should it be needed, you had better leave town by next train +for the rest of the day. If it were known you were with Mr. Brockelsby +at any time, might it not be thought that you were responsible for the +condition he was found in?" + +The doctors boarded the very next train, and Mr. Middleton, serene in +the knowledge that no one would disturb him now, had the box taken +back and set up in the main office. A slight thump in the box as it +was ended up against the wall, caused Mr. Middleton to believe that +Mr. Brockelsby was now resting on his head, but he resolved to allow +this unavoidable circumstance to occasion him no disquiet. Going to a +large department store where a sale of portieres was in progress, he +purchased some portieres and a number of other things. The portieres +he draped over the box, concealing its bare pine with shimmering +cardinal velvet and turning it into the semblance of a cabinet. Lest +any inquisitive hand tear it away, he placed six volumes of Chitty and +a bust of Daniel Webster upon the top and tacked two photographs of +Mr. Brockelsby upon the front. Confident that no one would disturb the +receptacle containing his employer, he went into court and after a +short but exceedingly spirited legal battle in which he displayed a +forensic ability, a legal lore, and a polished eloquence which few of +the older members of the Chicago bar could have equalled, he won a +signal victory. + +Although it was not his intention to set about restoring Mr. +Brockelsby until an hour that would ensure him against likelihood of +interruption, he returned to the office to see if by any untoward +mischance anybody could have interfered with the box. To his surprise, +he found Mrs. Brockelsby seated before that object of vertu with her +eye straying abstractedly over the cardinal portieres, the photographs +of Mr. Brockelsby, the bust of Daniel Webster, and the volumes of +Chitty. + +"Oh, Mr. Middleton," exclaimed the lady. "Mr. Brockelsby did not come +home to-day and they tell me he wasn't in court." + +"No, he was not in court," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Oh, where, oh, where can he be!" moaned Mrs. Brockelsby. + +Mr. Middleton being of the opinion that this question was merely +exclamatory, ejaculatory in its nature, of the kind orators employ to +garnish and embellish their discourse and which all books of rhetoric +state do not expect or require an answer, accordingly made no answer. +He was, nevertheless, somewhat disturbed by the poor lady's grief and +wished that it were possible to restore her husband to her instantly. + +"Oh, I have wanted to see him so, I have wanted him so! Oh, where can +he be, Mr. Middleton! I must find him. I cannot endure it longer. I +will offer a reward to anyone who will bring him home within +twenty-four hours, to anyone who will find him. Oh, oh, oh, oh! I will +give $200. I will give it to you, yourself, if you will find him. +Write a notice to that effect and take it to the newspaper offices." + +This great distress on the part of the lady was all contrary to what +Dr. McAllyn had said concerning her indifference to the absence of her +spouse and caused Mr. Middleton to feel very much like a guilty +wretch. As he wrote out the notices for the papers, he reiterated +assurances that Mr. Brockelsby would turn up before morning, while the +partner of the missing barrister continued her heartbroken wailing and +the cause of it all was driven well-nigh wild. + +"Oh, if you only knew!" she said, as Mr. Middleton was about to depart +for the newspaper offices. "Day after to-morrow, I am going to +Washington to attend a meeting of the Federation of Woman's Clubs. +That odious Mrs. LeBaron is going to spring a diamond necklace worth +two thousand dollars more than mine. Augustus must come home in time +to sign a check so I can put three thousand dollars more into mine." + +A great load soared from Mr. Middleton's mind and blithe joy reigned +there instead. + +"Mrs. Brockelsby, I'll leave no stone unturned. I'll bring you your +husband before breakfast," and escorting the lady to her carriage and +handing her in with the greatest deference and most courtly gallantry, +he set forth for one of the more famous of the large restaurants which +are household words among the elite of Chicago. Mr. Middleton had +never passed its portals, but with fourteen hundred dollars in his +pocket and two hundred more in sight, he felt he could afford to give +himself a good meal and break the fast he had kept since the evening +before, for in the crowded events of the day, he had found time to +refresh himself with nothing more substantial than an apple and a bag +of peanuts, or fruit of the Arachis hypogea. + +As he sat down at a table in the glittering salle-a-manger, what was +his great surprise and even greater delight, to see seated opposite, +just slowly finishing his dessert--a small bowl of sherbet--habited in +a perfectly-fitting frock coat with a red carnation in the lapel, the +urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Having +exchanged mutual expressions of pleasure at this unexpected encounter, +Mr. Middleton, overjoyed and elated at the successes of the day, began +to pour into the ears of the prince a relation of the events that had +resulted from the gift of the treatise of the learned hakim of Madras, +which is in India. He told everything from the beginning to the end. + +"In the morning," he said in conclusion, "I take Mr. Brockelsby home +in a cab and get the two hundred dollars." + +"Alas, alas!" said Achmed mournfully, his great liquid brown eyes +resting sorrowfully upon Mr. Middleton. "What a corrupting effect the +haste to get rich has upon American youth. My friend, it cannot be +that you intend to take the two hundred dollars?" + +"But I find old Brock, don't I?' + +"That is precisely what you do not do. You know where he is. You put +him there. How can you say you found him?" + +"All right, I won't do it," said Mr. Middleton, abashed at Achmed's +reproof, a reproof his conscience told him was eminently deserved. + +"I thank Allah," said the prince, "that I am an Arab and not an +American. The fortunes of my line, its glories, were not won in the +vulgar pursuits of trade, in the chicanery of business, in the shady +paths of speculation, in the questionable manipulation of stocks and +bonds. It was not thus that the ancient houses of the nobility of +Europe and the Orient built up their honorable fortunes. Never did the +men of my house parley with their consciences, never did they strike a +truce with their knightly instincts in order to gain gold. Ah, no, +no," mused the prince, looking pensively up at the gaily decorated +ceiling as he reflected upon the glories of his line; "it was in the +noble profession of arms, the illustrious practice of warfare that we +won our honorable possessions. At the sacking of Medina, the third +prince of our house gained a goodly treasure of gold and precious +stones, and founded our fortune. In warfare with the Wahabees, we +acquired countless herds and the territories for them to roam upon. By +descents across the Red Sea into the realms of the Abyssinians, we +took hundreds of slaves. From the Dey of Aden we acquired one hundred +thousand sequins as the price of peace. In the sacking of the cities +of Hedjaz and Yemen and even the dominions of Oman, did we gallantly +gain in the perilous and honorable pursuit of war further store of +treasure. Ah, those were brave days, those days of old, those knightly +days of old! Faugh, I am out of tune with this vile commercial country +and this vile commercial age." + +The prince arose as he uttered these last words and in his rhapsody +forgetting the presence of Mr. Middleton, without a farewell he +stalked through the great apartment, absentmindedly, though gracefully +twirling a pair of pearl gray gloves in the long sensitive fingers of +his left hand. A little hush fell upon the brilliant assemblage and +many a bright eye dwelt admiringly upon the elegant person, so +elegantly attired, of the urbane and accomplished prince of the tribe +of Al-Yam. + +For some time Mr. Middleton sat plunged in abstraction, toying with +the three kinds of dessert he had ordered, as he meditated upon the +words of the emir. At last rousing himself, he had finished the +marrons glacees and was about to begin upon a Nesselrode pudding, when +he heard himself addressed, and looking up saw before him a young +woman of an exceedingly prepossessing appearance. She was richly +dressed with a quiet elegance that bespoke her a person of good taste. +Laughing, roguish eyes illuminated a piquant face in which were to be +seen good sense, ingenuousness and kindness, mingled with +self-reliance and determination. Mr. Middleton knew not whether to +admire her most for the beautiful proportions of her figure, the +loveliness of her face, or the fine mental qualities of which her +countenance gave evidence. With a delightful frankness in which there +was no hint of real or pretended embarrassment, she said: + +"Pray pardon this intrusion on the part of a total stranger. I have +particular reasons for desiring to know the name and station of the +gentleman who left you a short time ago, and knowing no one else to +ask, have resolved to throw myself upon your good nature. I will ask +of you not to require the reasons of me, assuring you that they are +perhaps not entirely unconnected with the welfare of this gentleman. I +observed from your manner toward one another that you were +acquaintances and that it was no chance conversation between +strangers. He is, I take it, an Italian." + +Without pausing to reflect that the emir might not be at all pleased +to have this young woman know of his identity, Mr. Middleton exclaimed +hastily and with a gesture of expostulation: + +"Oh, no! He is not a Dago," and then after a pause he remarked +impressively, "He is an Arab," and then after a still longer pause, he +said still more impressively, "He is the Emir Achmed Ben Daoud, +hereditary prince of the tribe of Al-Yam, which ranges on the borders +of that fertile and smiling region of Arabia known as Yemen, or Arabia +the Happy." + +"He is not a Dago!" said the young woman, clasping her hands with +delighted fervor. + +"He is not a Dago!" said another voice, and Mr. Middleton became aware +that at his back stood a second young woman scarcely less charming +than the first. "He is not a Dago!" she repeated, scarcely less +delighted than the first. + +Mr. Middleton arose and assumed an attitude which was at once +indicative of proper deference toward his fair questioners and enabled +him the better to feast his entranced eyes upon them. Moreover, on all +sides he observed that people were looking at them and he needed no +one to tell him that his conversation with these two daughters of the +aristocracy was causing the assemblage to regard him as an individual +of social importance. He gave the emir's address upon Clark Street and +after dwelling some time upon his graces of person and mind, related +how it was that this Eastern potentate was resident in the city of +Chicago in a comparatively humble capacity. + +"His brother is shut up in a vermillion tower." + +"Vermillion, did you say?" breathlessly asked the first young lady. + +"Oh, how romantic!" exclaimed the second young lady. "A tower of +vermillion! Is he good looking, like this one? Do you suppose he will +come here? Oh, Mildred, I must meet him. And the imam of Oman is going +to give the vermillion tower to the brother, when he is released. We +could send one of papa's whalebacks after it. What a lovely house on +Prairie Avenue it would make. 'The Towers,' we would call it. No, +'Vermillion Towers.' How lovely it would sound on a card, 'Wednesdays, +Vermillion Towers.' We must get him out. Can't we do it?" + +"If it were in this country," said Mr. Middleton, "I would engage to +get him out. I would secure a writ of habeas corpus, or devise other +means to speedily release him. But unfortunately, I am not admitted to +practice in the dominions of Oman. But I do not pity the young man. +One could well be willing to suffer incarceration in a tower of +vermillion, if he knew he were an object of solicitude to one so fair +as yourself. One could wear the gyves and shackles of the most +terrible tyranny almost in happiness, if he knew that such lovely eyes +grew moist over his fate and such beauteous lips trembled when they +told the tale of his imprisonment." + +Now such gallant speeches were all very well in the days of +knee-breeches and periwigs, but in this age and in Chicago, they are +an anachronism and the two young ladies started as if they had +suddenly observed that Mr. Middleton had on a low-cut vest, or his +trousers were two years behind the times, and somewhat curtly and +coolly making their adieus, they sailed rapidly away, leaving Mr. +Middleton--who was not the most obtuse mortal in the world--to +savagely fill with large pieces of banana pie the orifice whence had +lately issued the words which had cut short his colloquy with the two +beauties. He deeply regretted that in his association with Prince +Achmed he had fallen into a flowery and Oriental manner of speech and +resolved henceforth to eschew such fashion of discourse. + +The clocks were solemnly tolling the hour of midnight when Mr. +Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby rubbed his eyes and sat up in the +revolving chair in the main office of his suite. Mr. Middleton was +standing near, hastily putting away a razor. A warm odor lay on the +still air of the room. + +"Hello, isn't it daylight yet?" asked Mr. Brockelsby. The hot cakes +that had but lately been applied to his shaven crown, seemed to have +dispelled the fogs of intoxication and he was master of himself. + +"It is twelve o'clock," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Twelve! Why, it was three when I left the banquet table. Twelve!" + +"Twelve," said Mr. Middleton, pointing gravely to the clock on the +desk. + +"It--is--twelve. Don't tell me it is the day after." + +"I am compelled to do so. You were at the banquet of the Sons of +Andrew Jackson's Wars, twenty-four hours ago." + +"Great Scott!" exclaimed Mr. Brockelsby, thrusting his hands through +his hair, or rather making the motion of doing so. "Great Scott!" he +repeated, "I am bald-headed. What the devil have I been into? Where +the devil have I been?" + +"I found you here this morning. Your wife has been here." + +"Oh, lord! Oh, lord! What did she say when she saw me dead to the +world--and bald-headed?" + +"She did not see you. I had concealed you." + +"Good boy, good boy." + +"She offered me two hundred dollars reward to bring you home," and Mr. +Middleton related all that Mrs. Brockelsby had said. + +"It would be all off when she saw me bald-headed. What the devil +wouldn't she suspect? I don't know. I would say I didn't know where I +had been. That would certainly sound fishy. It would sound like a +preposterous excuse to cover up something pretty questionable. People +don't go out in good society and get their heads shaved. She's pretty +independent and uppish now. She said the next time she knew of me +cutting up any didoes, she would get a divorce. She comes into two +hundred thousand from her grandfather's estate in six months and she's +pretty independent. Say, my boy, can't you take a check for the money +she wants? She's going to Washington to-morrow. Tell her I went out of +town and sent the money. I _will_ go out of town. But the boys will +see my bald head. Where do you suppose I was? What sort of crowd was I +with? I must have a wig. You must get it for me. The boys would josh +me to death, and if the story got to my wife it would be all off. I'll +go to Battle Creek and get a new lot of hair started." + +Mr. Middleton sat down and wrote busily for a moment. He handed a +sheet of paper to Mr. Brockelsby. + +"What's this? You resign? You're not going to help me out?" + +"I am no longer in your employ. I will undertake to do all you ask of +me for a proper compensation, say one hundred and fifty a day for two +days." + +"What?" screamed Mr. Brockelsby. "This is robbery, extortion, +blackmail." + +"It is what you often charge yourself. Very well. Get your own wig and +be seen on the streets going after it. Leave your wife to wonder why I +do not come to report what progress is made in the search for you and +to start a rigorous investigation herself. I am under no obligations +not to ease her worry, to calm her disturbed mind by telling her I +have found you. She'll be hot foot after you then." + +"She'd spot the wig at once. It would fool others, but not her. She'd +see I had been jagged. You've got me foul. I'll have to accede to your +terms. You'll not give me away?" + +"Sir, I would not, in this, my first employment as an independent +attorney, be so derelict to professional honor, as to betray the +secrets of my client. We have chosen to call this three hundred +dollars--a check for which you will give me in advance--payment for +the services I am about to perform. In reality, I consider it only +part of what you owe for the miserably underpaid services of the past +three years." + +As Mr. Middleton wended his way homeward, it was with some melancholy +that he recalled how, on previous occasions when good fortune had +added to his stock of wealth, he had rejoiced in it because he saw his +dreams of marriage with the young lady of Englewood approaching +realization more and more. But now they had drifted apart. Not once +had he seen her since that fatal night. On several evenings he had +made the journey to Englewood and walked up and down before her house, +but not so much as her shadow on the curtain had he seen. Let her make +the first move toward a reconciliation. If she expected him to do so +after her treatment of him, she was sadly mistaken. + + + + +_The Adventure of Achmed Ben Daoud._ + + +Being curious to hear of the young ladies who had inquired concerning +the emir in the restaurant, and to learn what their connection with +that prince might be, Mr. Middleton repaired to the bazaar on Clark +Street on the succeeding night. But the emir was not in. Mesrour +apparently having experienced one of those curious mental lesions not +unknown in the annals of medicine, where a linguist loses all memory +of one or more of the languages he speaks, while retaining full +command of the others--Mesrour having experienced such a lesion, which +had, at least temporarily, deprived him of his command of the English +language, Mr. Middleton was unable to learn anything that he desired +to know, until bethinking himself of the fact that alcohol loosens the +thought centers and that by its agency Mesrour's atrophied brain cells +might be stimulated, revivified, and the coma dispelled, he made +certain signs intelligible to all races of men in every part of the +world and took the blackamore into a neighboring saloon, where, after +regaling him with several beers, he learned that only an hour before +an elegant turnout containing two young women, beautiful as houris, +had called for the emir and taken him away. + +"He done tole me that if I tole anybody whar he was gwine, he'd +bowstring me and feed mah flesh to the dawgs." + +Mr. Middleton shuddered as he heard this threat, so characteristically +Oriental. + +"Where _was_ he going?" he inquired with an air of profound +indifference and irrelevance, signalling for another bottle of beer. + +The blackamore silently drank the beer, a gin fizz, and two Scotch +high-balls, his countenance the while bearing evidence that he was +struggling with a recalcitrant memory. + +"'Deed, I doan' know, suh," said Mesrour finally. "He never done tole +me." + +Though Mr. Middleton called three times during the next week, he did +not find the emir in. Nor could Mesrour give any information +concerning his master's whereabouts. However, in the society news of +the Sunday papers, appeared at the head of several lists of persons +attendant upon functions, one A. B. D. Alyam, and this individual was +included among those at a small dinner given by Misses Mildred and +Gladys Decatur. As Mildred was the name of one of the young ladies who +had accosted him in the restaurant, Mr. Middleton felt quite certain +that this A. B. D. Alyam was none other than Achmed Ben Daoud, emir of +the tribe of Al-Yam. + +On the tenth day, Mesrour informed Mr. Middleton that the emir had +left word to make an appointment with him for seven o'clock on the +following evening, at which time Mr. Middleton came, to find the +accomplished prince sitting at a small desk made in Grand Rapids, +Michigan, engaged in the composition of a note which he was inscribing +upon delicate blue stationery with a gold mounted fountain pen. +Arising somewhat abruptly and offering his hand at an elevation in +continuity of the extension of his shoulder, the emir begged the +indulgence of a few moments and resumed his writing. He was arrayed in +a black frock coat and gray trousers and encircling his brow was a +moist red line that told of a silk hat but lately doffed. "Give the +gentleman a cup of tea," said he to Mesrour, looking up from the note, +which now completed, he was perusing with an air that indicated +satisfaction with its chirography, orthography, and literary style. At +last, placing it in an envelope and affixing thereto a seal, he turned +and ordering Mesrour to give Mr. Middleton another cup of tea, he +lighted a cigarette and began as follows: + +"This is the last time you will see me here. My lease expires +to-morrow and my experience as a retail merchant, in fact, as any sort +of merchant, is over. On this, the last evening that we shall meet in +the old familiar way, the story I have to relate to your indulgent +ears is of some adventures of my own, adventures which have had their +final culmination in a manner most delightful to me, and in which +consummation you have been an agent. Indeed, but for your friendship I +should not now be the happy man I am. Without further consuming time +by a preamble which the progress of the tale will render unnecessary, +I will proceed. + +"Last summer, I spent a portion of the heated term at Green Lake, +Wisconsin. I know that sentiment in this city is somewhat unequally +divided upon the question of the comparative charms of Green Lake and +Lake Geneva and that the former resort has not acquired a vogue equal +to that of the latter, but I must say I greatly prefer Green Lake. I +have never been at Lake Geneva, it is true, but nevertheless, I prefer +Green Lake. + +"The hotel where I stayed was very well filled and the manager was +enjoying a highly prosperous season. Yet though there were so many +people there I made no acquaintances in the first week of my sojourn. +Nor in the second week did I come to know more than three or four, and +they but slightly. I was, in truth, treated somewhat as an object of +suspicion, the cause of which I could not at first imagine. I was +newer to this country and its customs and costumes there a year ago. +Previous to starting for the lake, I had purchased of a firm of +clothiers farther up this street, Poppenheimer and Pappenheimer, a +full outfit for all occasions and sports incident upon a vacation at a +fashionable resort. I had not then learned that one can seldom make a +more fatal mistake than to allow a clothier or tailor to choose for +you. It is true that these gentry have in stock what persons of +refinement demand, but they also have fabrics and garments bizarre in +color and cut, in which they revel and carry for apparently no other +reason than the delectation of their own perverted taste, since they +seldom or never sell them. But at times they light upon some one whose +ignorance or easy-going disposition makes him a prey, and they send +him forth an example of what they call a well-dressed man. More +execrably dressed men than Poppenheimer and Pappenheimer and most of +the other parties in the clothing business, are seldom to be found in +other walks of life. In my ignorance of American customs, I entrusted +myself to their hands with the result that my garments were +exaggerated in pattern and style and altogether unsuited to my dark +complexion and slim figure. But in the wearing of these garments I +aggravated the original sartorial offence into a sartorial crime. With +my golf trousers and white ducks I wore a derby hat. For nearly a week +I wore with a shirt waist a pair of very broad blue silk suspenders +embroidered in red. All at once I awoke to a realization that the +others did not wear their clothes as I did and set myself to imitate +them with the result that my clothes were at least worn correctly. The +mischief was largely done, however, before this reform, and nothing I +could do would alter the cut and fabric. + +"My clothes were not the only drawbacks to my making acquaintances. I +was entirely debarred from a participation in the sports of the place. +I knew nothing of golf. A son of the desert, I could no more swim than +fly, and so far from being able to sail a boat, I cannot even manage a +pair of oars. I could only watch the others indulge in their +divertissements, a lonely and wistful outsider. + +"Yet despite all this, I could perceive that I was not without +interest to the young ladies. Partially as an object of amusement at +first, but not entirely that, even at first, for the sympathetic eyes +of some of them betrayed a gentle compassion. + +"Among the twenty or so young ladies at our hotel, were two who would +attract the attention and excite the admiration of any assemblage, two +sisters from Chicago, beautiful as houris. In face and figure I have +never seen their equal. Their cheeks were like the roses of Shiraz, +their teeth like the pearls of Ormuz, their eyes like the eyes of +gazelles of Hedjaz. Before beholding these damosels, I had never +realized what love was, but at last I knew, I fell violently in love +with them both. Never in my wildest moments had I thought to fall in +love with a daughter of the Franks. Nor had I contemplated an extended +stay in this land, and before my departure from Arabia I had begun to +negotiate for the formation of a harem to be in readiness against my +return. + +"But I soon began to entertain all these thoughts and to dally with +the idea of changing my religion, abhorrent as that idea was. At first +I had been comforted by the thought that I was in love with both girls +in orthodox Moslem style. But reflecting that I could never have both, +that they would never come to me, that I must go to them, becoming +renegade to my creed, I tried to decide which I loved best. I came to +a decision without any extended thinking. I was in love with Miss +Mildred, the elder of the two sisters Decatur, daughters of one of +Chicago's wealthy men, and this question settled, there remained the +stupendous difficulty of winning her. For I did not even possess the +right to lift my hat to these young ladies. My affair certainly +appeared quite hopeless. + +"In the last week of August, an Italian and his wife encamped upon the +south shore of the lake with a small menagerie, if a camel, a bear, +and two monkeys can be dignified by so large a title. He was +accustomed to make the rounds of the hotels and cottages on alternate +days, one day mounted on the dromedary and strumming an Oriental lute, +on the others playing a Basque bagpipe while his bear danced, or +proceeding with hand-organ and monkeys. He had been a soldier in the +Italian colony of Massowah on the Red Sea, where he had acquired the +dromedary--which was the most gigantic one I have ever seen--and a +smattering of Arabic. English he had none, his wife serving as his +interpreter in that tongue. + +"The sight of the camel was balm to my eyes. Not only was it agreeable +to me to see one of that race of animals so characteristic of my +native land, but here at last was a form of recreation opened to me. I +hired the camel on the days when the Italian was not using him and +went flying about all over the country. Little did I suspect that I +thereby became associated with the Italian in the minds of the public +and that presently they began to believe that I, too, was an Italian +and the real owner of the menagerie, employing Baldissano to manage it +for me while I lived at my ease at the hotel. I was heard conversing +with the Italian, and of course nobody suspected that I was talking to +him in Arabic. It was a tongue unknown to them all and they chose to +consider it Italian. Moreover, one Ashton Hanks, a member of the +Chicago board of trade, at the hotel for the season, had said to the +menagerie, jerking his thumb interrogatively at me, as I was busied in +the background with the camel, 'Italiano? Italiano?' To which +Baldissano replied, 'Si, signor,' meaning 'yes,' thinking of course +that Hanks meant him. 'Boss? Padrone?' said Hanks again, and again the +answer was, 'Si, signor.' + +"So here I was, made out to be an Italian and the owner of a miserable +little menagerie which I employed a minion to direct, while myself +posing as a man of substance and elegant leisure. Here I was, already +proven a person of atrocious taste in dress, clearly proclaimed of no +social standing, of unknown and suspicious antecedents, a vulgarian +pretender and interloper. But of course I didn't know this at the +time. + +"I was riding past the front of the hotel on the camel one day at a +little before the noon hour, when I beheld her whom I loved overcome +by keen distress and as she was talking rather loudly, I could not but +be privy to what she said. + +"'Oh, dear,' she exclaimed, clasping her hands in great worriment, +'what shall I do, what shall I do! Here I am, invited to go on a sail +and fish-fry on Mr. Gannett's yacht, and I have no white yachting +shoes to wear with my white yachting dress. I've just got to wear that +dress, for I brought only two yachting dresses and the blue one is at +the laundry. I thought I put a pair of white shoes in my trunk, but I +didn't; I haven't time to send to Ripon for a pair. I won't wear black +shoes with that dress. But how will I get white ones?' + +"'Through my agency,' said I from where I sat on the back of the +camel. + +"'Oh,' said she, with a little start at my unexpected intrusion, her +face lighting with a sudden hope, nevertheless. 'Were you going to +Ripon and will you be back before one-thirty? Are you perfectly +willing to do this errand for me?' + +"'I am going to Ripon,' I said, 'and nothing will please me more than +to execute any commission you may entrust to me. This good steed will +carry me the six miles and back before it is time to sail. They seldom +sail on the time set, I have observed.' + +"She brought me a patent-leather dancing shoe to indicate the desired +size, and away I went, secured the shoes, and turned homeward. While +skirting a large hill that arises athwart the sky to the westward of +the city of Ripon, I was startled by a weird, portentous, moaning cry +from my mount. Ah, its import was only too well known to me. Full many +a time had I heard it in the desert. It was the cry by which the +camels give warning of the coming of a storm. While yet the eye and +ear of man can detect no signs whatever of the impending outburst of +nature's forces and the earth is bathed in the smiles of the sky, the +camels, by some subtle, unerring instinct, prognosticate the storm. + +"I looked over the whole firmament. Not a cloud in sight. A soft +zephyr and a mellow sun glowing genially through a slight autumnal +haze. Not a sign of a storm, but the camel had spoken. I dismounted at +once. I undid the package of shoes. From my pocket I took a small +square bit of stone of the cubical contents of a small pea. It was cut +from the side of the cave where Mohammed rested during the Hegira, or +flight of Mohammed, with which date we begin our calendar. This bit of +stone was reputed to be an efficacious amulet against dangers of +storms, and also a charm against suddenly falling in love. I placed it +in the toe of the right shoe. Unbeknownst to her, Mildred would be +protected against these dangers. I could not hope to dissuade her from +the voyage by telling her of the camel's forewarning. Ashton Hanks was +to be one of the yachting party and he had shown evidences of a tender +regard for her. Retying the package, it was not long before I had +placed it in the hands of Mildred. With a most winsome smile she +thanked me and ran in to don the new purchases. + +"The boat set sail and I watched it glide westward over the sparkling +waves, toward the lower end of the lake, watching for an hour until it +had slipped behind some point and was lost to sight. Then I scanned +the heavens to see if the storm I knew must come would break before it +was time for the yachting party to return. Low on the northern horizon +clouds were mustering, their heads barely discernible above the rim of +the world. But for the camel's warning I would not have seen them. The +storm was surely coming. By six o'clock, or thereabouts, it would +burst. The party was to have its fish-fry at six, at some point on the +south shore. On the south shore would be the wreck, if wreck there was +to be. + +"With no definite plan, no definite purpose, save to be near my love +in the threatening peril, I set out for the south shore. By water, it +is from a mile and a half to three miles across Green Lake. By land, +it is many times farther. From road to road of those parallel with the +major axis of the lake, it is four miles at the narrowest, and it is +three miles from the end of the lake before you reach the first north +and south road connecting the parallels. Ten miles, then, after you +leave the end of the lake on the side where the hotels are, before you +are at the end on the other side. And then thirteen miles of shore. + +"So what with the distance and the time I had spent watching the +shallop that contained my love pass from my field of vision the +afternoon had far waned when I had reached the opposite shore, and +when I had descended to the beach at a point where I had thought I +might command the most extensive view and discover the yacht, if it +had begun to make its way homeward, the light of day had given place +to twilight. But not the twilight of imminent night, the twilight of +the coming tempest. For the brewing of a fearful storm had now some +time been apparent. A hush lay on the land. A candle flame would have +shot straight upward. Nature waited, silently cowering. + +"To the northward advanced, in serried columns of black, the beetling +clouds that were turning the day into night, the distant booming of +aerial artillery thundering forth the preluding cannonade of the +charge. Higher and higher into the firmament shot the front of the +advancing ranks in twisting curls of inky smoke, yet all the while the +mass dropped nearer and nearer to the earth and the light of day +departed, save where low down in the west a band of pale gold lay +against the horizon, color and nothing more, as unglowing as a yellow +streak in a painted sunset. Against this weird, cold light, I saw a +naked mast, and then a sail went creaking up and I heard voices. They +had been shortening sail. By some unspent impulse of the vanished +wind, or the impact of the waves still rolling heavily and glassily +from a recent blow, the yacht was still progressing and came moving +past me fifty or sixty feet from shore. + +"I heard the voices of women expressing terror, begging the men to do +something. Danger that comes in the dark is far more fearsome than +danger which comes in the light. I heard the men explaining the +impossibility of getting ashore. For two miles on this coast, a line +of low, but unscalable cliffs rose sheer from the water's edge, +overhanging it, in fact, for the waves had eaten several feet into the +base of the cliffs. To get out and stand in front of these cliffs was +to court death. The waves of the coming storm would either beat a man +to death against the rocks, or drown him, for the water was four feet +deep at the edge of the cliffs and the waves would wash over his head. +For two miles, I have said, there was a line of cliffs on this coast, +for two miles save just where I stood, the only break, a narrow rift +which, coinciding with a section line, was the end of a road coming +down to the water. They could not see this rift in the dusk, perhaps +were ignorant of its existence and so not looking for it. + +"The voices I had heard were all unfamiliar and it was not until the +yacht had drifted past me that I was apprised it was indeed the craft +I sought by hearing the voice of Mildred saying, with an assumed +jocularity that could not hide the note of fear: + +"'What will _I_ do? All the other girls have a man to save them. I am +the extra girl.' + +"I drove my long-legged steed into the water after the boat none too +soon, for the whistling of a premonitory gust filled the air. Quickly +through the water strode the camel, and, with his lariat in my hand, I +plumped down upon the stern overhang just as the mainsail went +slatting back and forth across the boat and everybody was ducking his +head. In the confusion, nobody observed my arrival. + +"'She's coming about,' cried the voice of the skipper, Gannett. 'A few +of these gusts would get us far enough across to be out of danger from +the main storm.' + +"But she did not come about. I could feel the camel tugging at the +lariat as the swerving of the boat jerked him along, but presently the +strain ceased, for the boat lay wallowing as before. Again a fitful +gust, again the slatting of the sail, the skipper put his helm down +hard, the boat put her nose into the wind, hung there, and fell back. + +"'She won't mind her helm!' + +"'She won't come about!' + +"'She acts as if she were towing something, were tied to something!' + +"'What's that big rock behind there? Who the devil is this? And how +the devil did he get here?' + +"In the midst of these excited and alarmed exclamations came the +solemn, portentous voice of the camel tolling out in the unnatural +night the tocsin of the approaching hurricane. + +"'It's the Dago!' cried Gannett, examining me by the fleeting flash of +a match. 'It's his damned camel towing behind that won't let us come +about. Pitch him overboard!' + +"'Oh, save me!' appealed Mildred. + +"There she had been, sitting just in front of me and I hadn't known it +was she. It was not strange that she had faith that I who had arrived +could also depart. + +"'Selim,' I called, pulling the camel to the boat. I had never had a +name for him before, but it was high time he had one, so now I named +him. 'Selim,' and there the faithful beast was and with Mildred in my +arms, I scrambled on to his back and urged him toward the rift in the +wall of cliff. + +"As if I had spurned it with my foot, the boat sprang away behind us, +a sudden rushing blast filling her sails and laying her almost over, +and then she was out of our sight, into the teeth of the tempest, +yelling, screaming, howling with a hundred voices as it darted from +the sky and laid flat the waves and then hurled them up in a mass of +stinging spray. + +"In fond anticipation, I had dwelt upon the homeward ride with +Mildred. A-camelback, I was, as it were, upon my native heath, master +of myself, assured, and at ease. I had planned to tell her of my love, +plead my cause with Oriental fervor and imagery, but before we reached +shore the tempest was so loud that she could not have heard me unless +I had shouted, and I had no mind to bawl my love. Worse still, when +once we were going across the wind and later into it, I could not open +my mouth at all. We reached the hotel and on its lee side I lifted her +down to the topmost of the piazza steps. I determined not be delayed +longer. If ever there was to be a propitious occasion, it was now when +I had rescued her from encompassing peril. I retained hold of her +hand. She gave me a glance in which was at least gratitude, and I +dared hope, something more, and I was about to make my declaration, +when she made a little step, her right foot almost sunk under her and +she gave an agonized cry and hobbling, limping, hopping on one foot, +passed from me across the piazza to the stairs leading to the second +story, whither she ascended upon her hands and knees. + +"That wretched stone from the cavern where Mahommed slept in the +Hegira! How many times during the day had she wanted to take her shoe +off? She would ascertain the cause of her torment, she would lay it to +me. It had indeed been an amulet against sudden love. I was the man +whose love it had forefended. + +"'Gannett's yacht went down and all aboard of her were drowned,' said +one of the bellboys to me. 'Everybody in the hotel is feeling +dreadful.' + +"'How do you know they are drowned?' + +"'Everybody in the hotel says so. I don't know how they found out.' + +"'What's that at the pier?' said I. + +"The lights at the end of the pier shone against a white expanse of +sail and there was a yacht slowly making a landing. + +"Someone came and stood for a moment in an open window above me and +there floated out the voice of one of the sisters Decatur, but which +one, I could not tell. Their voices were much alike and I had not +heard either of them speak very often. + +"'Do you think that one ought to marry a person who rescues her from +death, when he happens to be a Dago and cheap circus man into the +bargain? I certainly do not.' + +"Which one was it? Which one was it? Imagine my feelings, torn with +doubt, perplexity, and sorrow. Was it Mildred, replying scornfully to +some opinion of her sister, or was it the sister taking Mildred to +task for saying she wished or ought to marry me? How was I to know? +Could I run the risk of asking the girls themselves?" + +The emir paused, and it was plain to be seen from the workings of his +countenance that once more he was living over this unhappy episode. + +"I can well imagine your feelings and sympathize with them," said Mr. +Middleton. "There you sat in the encircling darkness, asking yourself +with no hope of an answer, 'Was it Mildred? Was it her sister? Was it +Mildred contemptuously repudiating the idea of marriage with me, or +the sister haughtily scoffing at some sentiments just professed by +Mildred? But I should not have spent too long a time asking how I was +to know. I should put the matter to the test and had it out with +Mildred, Miss Mildred, I should say." + +The emir looked steadily at Mr. Middleton. There was surprise, +annoyance, perhaps even vexation in his gaze. With incisive tones, he +said: + +"How could you so mistake me? Ours is a line whose lineage goes back +twelve hundred years, a noble and unsullied line. Could I, sir, think +of making my wife, making a princess of my race, a woman who could +entertain the thought of stooping to marry a Dago cheap circus man? +Suppose I had gone to Mildred and had asked her if she had expressed +herself of such a demeaning declaration? Suppose she had said, 'Yes,' +then there I would have been, compromised, caught in an entanglement +from which as a man of honor, I could not withdraw. The only thing to +do was to keep silence. The risk was too great, I resolved to leave on +the morrow. For the first time did I learn that I was believed to be a +Dago and the proprietor of the little menagerie. This strengthened my +resolve to leave. + +"I left. Your happy encounter with the young ladies in the restaurant +changed all. They learned from you that I was their social equal. They +looked me up and apologized for their apparent lack of appreciation of +my services and explained that they thought me a Dago circus man. I +learned that neither of them believed in a mesalliance, that the +question I had heard was a rhetorical question merely, one not +expecting an answer, much used by orators to express a strong negation +of the sentiments apparently contained in the question. But I have not +yet learned which girl it was who asked the question. It is entirely +immaterial and I don't think I shall try to find out, even after I am +married, for of course you have surmised I am to be married, to be +married to Mildred." + +"Yes, another American heiress marries a foreign nobleman," said Mr. +Middleton, with a bitterness that did not escape the emir. + +"Permit me to correct a popular fallacy," said the emir. "Nothing +could be more erroneous than the prevalent idea that American girls +marry foreign noblemen because attracted by the glitter of rank, +holding their own plain republican citizens in despite. Sir, it takes +a title to make a foreigner equal to American men in the eyes of +American women. A British knight may compete with the American mister, +but when you cross the channel, nothing less than a count will do in a +Frenchman, a baron in the line of a German, while, for a Russian to +receive any consideration, he must be a prince. + +"And now," said the emir, "my little establishment here being about to +be broken up, I am going to ask you to accept certain of my effects +which for sundry reasons I cannot take with me to my new abode. My +jewels, hangings, and costumes, my wife will like, of course. But as +she is opposed to smoking, there are six narghilehs and four +chibouques which I will never use again. As I am about to unite with +the Presbyterian church this coming Sunday, it might cause my wife +some disquietude and fear of backsliding, were I to retain possession +of my eight copies of the Koran. She may be wise there," said the emir +with a sigh. "If perchance you should embrace the true faith and +thereby make compensation for the loss of a member occasioned by my +withdrawal----" + +"That would not even matters up," interrupted Mr. Middleton, "for I am +not a Presbyterian, but a Methodist." + +"Oh," said the emir. "Well, there are five small whips of rhinoceros +hide and two gags. My wife will not wish me to keep those, nor a +crystal casket containing twenty-seven varieties of poisons. Then +there are other things that you might have use for and I have not. I +have sent for a cab and Mesrour will stow the things in it." + +At that moment the cab was heard without and Mesrour began to load it +with the gifts of the emir. At length he ceased his carrying and stood +looking expectantly. With an air of embarrassment, and clearing his +throat hesitatingly, the emir addressed Mr. Middleton. + +"There is one last thing I am going to ask you to take. I cannot call +it a gift. I can look upon your acceptance of it in no other light +than a very great service. Some time ago, when marriage in this +country was something too remote to be even dreamed of, I sent home +for an odalisque." + +The emir paused and looked obliquely at Mr. Middleton, as if to +observe the effect of this announcement. That excellent young man had +not the faintest idea what an odalisque might be, but he had ever made +it a point when strange and unknown terms came up, to wait for +subsequent conversation to enlighten him directly or by inference as +to their meaning. In this way he saved the trouble of asking questions +and, avoiding the reputation of being inquisitive and curious, gained +that of being well informed upon and conversant with a wide range of +subjects. So he looked understandingly at the emir and remarking +approvingly, "good eye," the emir continued, much encouraged. + +"To a lonely man such as I then was, the thought of having an +odalisque about, was very comforting. Lonely as I then was, an +odalisque would have afforded a great deal of company." + +"That's right," said Mr. Middleton. "Why, even cats are company. The +summer I was eighteen, everybody in our family went out to my +grandfather's in Massachusetts, and I stayed home and took care of the +house. I tell you, I'd been pretty lonely if it hadn't been for our +two cats." + +"But now I am going to be married and my wife would not think of +tolerating an odalisque about the house. She simply would not have it. +The odalisque arrived last night, and I am in a great quandary. I +could not think of turning the poor creature out perhaps to starve." + +"That's right," said Mr. Middleton. "Some persons desiring to dispose +of a cat, will carry it off somewhere and drop it, thinking that more +humane than drowning it. But I say, always drown a cat, if you wish to +get rid of it." + +"Now I have thought that you, being without a wife to object, might +take this burden off my hands. I will hand you a sum sufficient for +maintenance during a considerable period and doubtless you can, as +time goes on, find someone else who wants an odalisque, or discover +some other way of disposal, in case you tire----" + +"Send her along," said Mr. Middleton, cordially and heartily. "If +worst comes to worst, there's an old fellow I know who sells parrots +and cockatoos and marmosets, and perhaps he'd like an odalisque." + +"I will send her," said the emir. + +"So it's a she," quoth Mr. Middleton to himself. He had used the +feminine in the broad way that it is applied indefinitely to ships, +railways trains, political parties etc., etc., with no thought of +fitting a fact. + +"I will give you fifteen hundred dollars for her maintenance. Having +brought her so far, I feel a responsibility----" + +"But that is such a large sum. I really wouldn't need so much----" + +"That is none too large," rejoined the emir. "I wish her to be treated +well and I believe you will do it. At first, she will not understand +anything you say to her, of course, but she will soon learn what you +mean. The tone, as much as the words, enlightens, and I think you will +have very little trouble in managing her." + +"Is there a cage?" hazarded Mr. Middleton, "or won't I need one?" + +"Lock her in a room, if you are afraid she will run away, though such +a fear is groundless. Or if you wish to punish her, the rhinoceros +whips would do better than a cage. A cage is so large and I could +never see any advantage in it. But you will probably never have +occasion to use even a whip. You will have but this one odalisque. Had +you two or three, they might get to quarreling among themselves and +you might have use for a whip. But toward you, she will be all +gentleness, all submission." + +Mr. Middleton and the emir then turned to the counting and accounting +of the fifteen hundred dollars, and so occupied, the lawyer missed +seeing Mesrour pass with the odalisque and did not know she had been +put in the hack until the emir had so apprised him. + +"She is in a big coffee sack," said the emir. "The meshes of the +fabric are sufficiently open to afford her ample facility for +breathing, and yet she can't get out. Then, too, it will simplify +matters when you get to your lodgings. You will not have to lead her +and urge her, frightened and bewildered by so much moving about, but +pack her upon your back in the bag and carry her to your room with +little trouble. + +"And now," continued the emir, grasping Mr. Middleton's hands warmly, +"for the last time do I give you God-speed from this door. I will not +disguise my belief that our intimacy has in a measure come to an end. +As a married man, I shall not be so free as I have been. I am no +longer in need of seeking out knowledge of strange adventures. The +tyrannical imam of Oman, who imprisoned my brother, is dead, and his +successor, commiserating the poor youth's sorrows, has not only +liberated him, but given him the vermillion edifice of his +incarceration. This my brother intends to transmute into gold, for he +has hit upon the happy expedient of grinding it up into a face powder, +a rouge, beautiful in tint and harmless in composition, for the rock +was quarried in one of the most salubrious locations upon the upper +waters of the great river Euphrates. I trust I shall sometimes see you +at our place, where I am sure I shall be joined in welcoming you by +Mrs.--Mrs.--well, to tell the truth," said the emir in some slight +confusion, "I don't know what her name will be, for it is obviously +out of the question to call her Mrs. Achmed Ben Daoud, and she objects +to the tribal designation of Alyam, which I had temporarily adopted +for convenience's sake, as ineuphonious." + +"Sir, friend and benefactor, guiding lamp of my life, instructor of my +youth and moral exemplar," said Mr. Middleton, in the emotion of the +moment allowing his speech an Oriental warmth which the cold +self-consciousness of the Puritan would have forbade, had he been +addressing a fellow American, "I cannot tell you the advantages that +have flowed from my acquaintance with you. It was indeed the turning +point of my life. The pleasure I will leave untouched upon, as I must +alike on the present occasion, the profits. Let me briefly state that +they foot up to $3760. A full accounting of how they accrued, would +consume the rest of the night, and so it must be good-bye." + +As Mr. Middleton looked back for the last time upon that hospitable +doorway, he saw the gigantic figure of Mesrour silhouetted against the +dim glow beyond and there solemnly boomed on the night air, the Arabic +salutation, "Salaam aleikoom." + + + + +_What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Eighth and Last Gift of the +Emir._ + + +Getting into the hack and settling into the sole remaining vacant +space Mesrour had left in loading the vehicle with the emir's gifts, +Mr. Middleton was so preoccupied by a gloomy dejection as he reflected +that a most agreeable, not to say inspiring and educating, intimacy +was at last ended, that he reached his lodgings and had begun to +unload his new possessions, before he thought of the odalisque. There +lay the coffee sack lengthwise on the front seat and partially +reclining against the side of the carriage. He was greatly surprised +at the size of the unknown creature and began to surmise that it was +an anthropoid ape, though before his speculations had ranged from +parrots through dogs to domesticated leopards. Leaving the coffee sack +until the last, he gingerly seized the slack of the top of the bag and +proceeded to pull it upon his shoulders, taking care to avoid holding +the creature where it could kick or struggle effectually, for despite +all the emir had told him of the gentleness of the odalisque, he was +resolved to take no chances. Whatever the creature was, she had slid +down, forming a limp lump at the end of the bag, when he charily +deposited it on the floor and turned to consult his dictionary before +untying it. He was going to know what the creature was before he dealt +with her further, a creature so large as that. + +_Odalisque._ A slave or concubine in a Mohammedan harem!! + +A woman!!! + +Mr. Middleton tore at the string by which the bag was tied, full of +the keenest self-reproach. The uncomfortable position during the long +ride, the worse position in which she now lay. The knots refused to +budge and snatching a knife, with a mighty slashing, he ripped the bag +all away and disclosed the slender form of a woman crouched, huddled, +collapsed, face downward, head upon her knees. Turning her over and +supporting her against his breast in a sitting posture, Mr. Middleton +looked upon the most loveliness, unhappiness, and helplessness he had +ever beheld. + +For a moment his heart almost stopped as he looked into the still +face, but he saw the bosom faintly flutter, slow tears oozed out from +under the long lashes of the closed lids, and the cupid's bow mouth +gave little twitches of misery and hopelessness. With what exquisite +emotions was he filled as he looked down upon the head pillowed upon +his breast, with what sentiments of anger, with what noble chivalry! + +A Moslem woman. A Moslem woman, who even in the best estate of her sex +as free and a wife, goes to her grave like a dog, with no hope of a +life beyond, unless her husband amid the joys of Paradise should turn +his thoughts back to earth and wish for her there among his houris. +But this poor sweet flower had not even this faint expectation, for +she was no wife nor could be, slave of a Mohammedan harem. No rights +in this world nor the next. Not even the attenuated rights which law +and custom gave the free woman. No sustaining dream of a divine +recompense for the unmerited unhappiness of this existence. A slave, a +harem slave, wanted only when she smiled, was gay, and beautiful; who +must weep alone and in silence, in silence, with never a sympathetic +shoulder to weep upon after they sold her from her mother's side. Tied +in a bag, going she knew not whither, thrown in a carriage like so +much carrion, in these indignities she only wept in silence, for her +lord, the man, must not be discomposed. Like the timorous, helpless +wild things of the woods whose joys and sorrows must ever be voiceless +lest the bloody tyrants of their domain come, who even in the crunch +of death hold silence in their weak struggles, this poor young thing +bore her sufferings mutely, for her lord, the man, must not be +discomposed, choking her very breath lest a sob escape. Mr. Middleton, +in a certain illuminating instinct which belongs to women but only +occasionally comes to some men, saw all this in a flash without any +pondering and turning over and reflecting and comparing, and he said +to himself under his breath, not eloquently, but well, as there came +home to him the heinousness of that abhorrant social system dependent +upon the religious system of the Prophet of Mecca, "Damn the emir and +Mohammed and the whole damned Mohammedan business, kit and boodle!" + +In this imprecation there was a piece of grave injustice which Mr. +Middleton would not have allowed himself in calmer mood, for the emir +was about to become a member of one of the largest and most +fashionable Presbyterian congregations in the city and ought not to +have been included in an anathema of Moslemry and condemned for +anything he upheld while in the benighted condition of Mohammedanism. + +Mr. Middleton continuing to gaze, as who could not, upon that +beautiful unhappy face, suddenly he imprinted upon the quivering lips +a kiss in which was the tender sympathy of a mother, the heartening +encouragement of a friend, and the ardent passion of a lover. The +odalisque opened her lovely hazel eyes and _seeing_ corroboration of +all the _touch_ of the kiss had told her, as she looked into eyes that +brimmed with tears like hers, upon lips that quivered like hers, she +let loose the flood gates of her woes in a torrent of sobs and tears, +and throwing herself upon his shoulders, poured out her long pent +sorrows in a good cry. + +It was only a summer shower and the sun soon shone. She did not weep +long. Too filled with wonder and surpassing delight was this daughter +of the Orient in her first experience with the chivalry of the +Occident. She must needs look again at this man whose eyes had welled +full in compassion for her. She would court again his light and +soothing caresses, his gentle ministrations, so different from the +brutal pawing of the male animals of her own race, the moiety with +souls. Ah, how poignantly sweet, how amazing, that which to her +American sisters was the usual, the commonplace, the everyday! + +She raised her head. Her tears no longer flowed, but her lips still +quivered, in a pleading little smile; and her bosom still fluttered, +in a shy and doubting joy, and in her mind floated a half-formed +prayer that the genii whose craft had woven this rapturous dream, +would not too soon dispel it. + +Mr. Middleton gazed at her. He had never seen a face like that, so +perfectly oval; never such vermillion as showed under the dusk of her +cheeks and stained the lips, narrow, but full. What wondrous eyes were +those, so large and lustrous, illumining features whose basal lines of +classic regularity were softly tempered into a fluent contour. A +circlet of gold coins bound her brow, shining in bright relief against +the luxuriant masses of chestnut hair. A delicate and slender figure +had she, yet well cushioned with flesh and no bones stood out in her +bare neck. + +Moved not by his own discomfort on the hard floor, but by the possible +discomfort of the odalisque, Mr. Middleton at length raised her and +conducted her to a red plush sofa obtained by the landlady for soap +wrappers and a sum of money, which having turned green in places and +therefore become no longer suitable for a station in the parlor, had +been placed in this room a few days before. Upon this imposing article +of furniture the two sat down, and though at first Mr. Middleton did +no more than place his arm gently and reassuringly about the girl's +waist and hold her hand lightly, in the natural evolution, +progression, and sequence of events, following the rules of contiguity +and approach--rhetorical rules, but not so here--before long the cheek +of the fair Arab lay against that of the son of Wisconsin and her arm +was about his neck and every little while she uttered a little sigh of +complete, of unalloyed content. What had been yesterday, what might be +to-morrow, she was now happy. As for Mr. Middleton, what a stream of +delicious thoughts, delicious for the most part because of their +unselfishness and warm generosity, flowed through his head. What a joy +it would be to make happy the path of this girl who had been so +unhappy, to lay devotion at the feet of her who had never dreamed +there was such a thing in the world, to bind himself the slave of her +who had been a slave. + +Then, too, he luxuriated in the simple, elementary joy of possession +and the less elementary joy of possession of new things, whether new +hats, new clothes, new books, new horses, new houses, or new girls, +and which is the cause why so many of us have new girls and new beaux. +And when he looked ahead and saw only one logical termination of the +episode, he swelled with a pride that was honest and unselfish, as he +thought how all would look and admire as he passed with this lovely +woman, his wife. + +He could have sat thus the whole night through, but the girl must be +tired, worn by the sufferings of this day and many before. He motioned +toward the bed and indicated by pantomime that she should go to it. +She would have descended to her knees and with her damask lips brushed +the dust from his shoes, if she had thought he wished it, but she knew +not what he meant by his gesturing and sat bewildered in eager and +anxious willingness. So arranging the bed for her occupancy, he took +her in his arms and bore her to it and dropped her in. The riotous +blushes chased each other across her cheeks as she lay there with eyes +closed, so sweet, so helpless, so alone. + +For a little season he stood there gazing, gloating, enravished, like +to hug himself in the keen titillation of his ecstasy and this was not +all because this lovely being was his, but because he was hers. + +Glancing about the room preliminarily to leaving, and wondering what +further was to be done for the girl's comfort and peace of mind, he +bethought him of an ancient tale he had once read. In this narration, +fate having made it unavoidable that a noble lord should pass the +night in a castle tower with a fair dame of high degree and there +being but one bed in the apartment, he had placed a naked sword in the +middle of the bed between them and so they passed the night, guarded +and menaced by the falchion, for the nonce become the symbol of bright +honor and cold virtue. Mr. Middleton had often wondered why the knight +did not sleep on the floor, or outside the door, as he himself now +intended doing. But it occurred to him that some such symbol might +reassure the Arab damosel and having no sword, he drew one of the +large pistols the emir had given him and approached the bed to lay it +there. + +The girl's eyes had now opened and Mr. Middleton started as he beheld +her face. Once more the hunted, helpless look it had worn when first +he had looked on it. But more. Such an utter fear and sickening unto +death. But not fear, terror for herself. Fear for the death of an +ideal, a fear caused by her misinterpretation of his intent with the +pistol. It had not been real, it had not been real. He was as other +men, the men of her world and all the world was alike and life not +worth living. With a finesse he had not suspected he possessed, he +laid the pistol on a pile of legal papers on a table at the bed's +head, a pile whose sheets a suddenly entering breeze was whirling +about the room. How obvious it was he had brought the pistol for a +paper weight. Once more the girl was smiling as he drew the clothes +over her, all dressed as she was, and kissing shut her drowsy eyes, he +left her in her virginal couch. + +On the mat before the door in the hallway without, he disposed himself +as comfortably as he could. With due regard for the romantic +proprieties, he tried to keep within the bounds of the mat. But it was +too short, his curled up position too uncomfortable, and so he +overflowed it and could scarcely be said to be sleeping on the mat. It +was too late to arouse the landlady and although he was there by +choice, it could not have been otherwise. + +After snatches of broken sleep, after dreams waking and dreams +sleeping, which were all alike and of one thing and indistinguishable, +he was at length fully awake at a little before six and aware of an +odor of tobacco smoke. Applying his nose to the crack of the door, he +finally became convinced that it came from his room. Wondering what it +could possibly mean, and accordingly opening the door, opening it so +slowly and gradually that the odalisque could have ample time to seek +the cover of the bed clothes, he stepped in. + +There sat the odalisque on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, puffing +away at his big meerschaum, blowing clouds that filled the room. On +the table lay an empty cigarette box that had been full the night +before. This had not belonged to Mr. Middleton, who was not a +cigarette smoker and despised the practice, but had been forgotten by +Chauncy Stackelberg on a recent visit. The fingers of her right hand +were stained yellow, not by the cigarettes of that one box, but the +unnumbered cigarettes of years. Mr. Middleton had not noticed these +fingers the night before, but had been absorbed by her face, and this +as beautiful, as piquant, as bewitching as before, looked up at him, +the lips puckered, waiting, longing. + +He stood there, stock-still, stern, troubled, dismayed. + +She moved over, where she sat on the edge of the bed, with mute +invitation, and Mr. Middleton continuing to stand and stare, she moved +again and yet again, until she was against the headboard. And still he +did not sit beside her, thinking all the time of the young lady of +Englewood whose pure Puritan lips never had been and never could be +defiled by cigarettes and tobacco. The young lady of Englewood, the +young lady of Englewood, what a jewel of women was she and what a fool +he had been and how unkind and inconsiderate! Recalled by a little +snuffle from the odalisque, he saw the puckered lips were relaxing +sorrowfully and fearing the girl would cry, he hastily sat down beside +her and put his right arm about her. But he did not take the shapely +hand that now laid down the meerschaum, and though her head fell on +his shoulder and her breath came and went with his, he did not kiss +her, for that breath was laden with tobacco. Nor did his fingers stray +through those masses of silken hair, for he was sure they were full of +the fumes of tobacco. There with his arm about the soft, uncorsetted +form of that glorious beauty, her own white forearm smooth and cool +about his neck, he was thinking of the young lady of Englewood. + +Poor odalisque! Why cannot he speak to you and tell you? You would +wash away those yellow stains with your own blood, if you thought he +wished it. Forego tobacco? Why, you would cease to inhale the breath +of life itself, for his sake. + +Out of the grave came all the dead Puritan ancestors of Mr. Middleton, +a long procession back to Massachusetts Bay. The elders of Salem who +had ordained that a man should not smoke within five miles of a house, +the lawgivers who had prescribed the small number, brief length, and +sad color of ribbons a woman might wear and who forbade a man to kiss +his wife on Sunday, all these righteous and uncomfortable folk stirred +in Mr. Middleton's blood and obsessed him. + +Fatima, Nouronhor, or whatever your name might be, my fair Moslem, why +did fate throw you in with a Puritan? Yet I wot that had it been one +from a strain of later importation from Europe, you had not been so +safe there last night. The Puritans may be disagreeable, but they are +safe, safe. + +Part of this Mr. Middleton was saying over and over to himself--the +latter part. The Puritans are safe. The young lady of Englewood was +safe. She was good, she was beautiful, too, in her calm, sweet, +Puritan way. He must see her at once, he would go---- A sigh, not +altogether of content, absolute and complete, recalled to him the +woman pressed against his side. She must be taken care of, disposed +of. Asylum? No. Factory? No, no. Theater, museum? No, no, no. He would +find some man to marry her. There must be someone, lots of men, in +fact, who would marry a girl so lovely, who needn't find out she +smoked until after marriage, or who would not care anyway. All this +might take time. He would be as expeditious as possible, however. He +called Mrs. Leschinger, the landlady, and entrusting the girl to her +care, departed to visit a matrimonial agency he knew of. + +He looked over the list of eligibles. He read their misspelled, +crabbedly written letters. There was not one in the lot to whom a man +of conscience could entrust the Moslem flower, even if she did smoke. + +"There is apparently not one man of education or refinement in the +whole lot," exclaimed Mr. Middleton. + +"That's about right," said the president of the agency. "Between you +and I, there ain't many people of refinement who would go at marrying +in that way. You don't know what a lot of jays and rubes I have to +deal with. Often I threaten to retire. But occasionally a real +gentleman or lady does register in our agency. Object, fun or +matrimony. Now I have one client that is all right, all right except +in one particular. He is a man of thirty-five or six, fine looking, +has a nice house and five thousand dollars a year clear and sure. But +he's stone deaf. He wants a young and handsome girl. Now I could get +him fifty dozen homely young women, or pretty ones that weren't +chickens any longer, real pretty and refined, but you see a real +handsome young girl sort of figures her chances of marrying are good, +that she may catch a man who can hear worth as much as this Crayburn, +which ain't a whole lot, or that if she does marry a poor young chap, +he'll have as much as Crayburn does when he is as old as Crayburn. Now +I'm so sure you'll only have your trouble for your pains, that I won't +charge you anything for his address and a letter of introduction. I +don't believe you have got a girl who will suit, for if you have, she +won't take Crayburn. Here's his picture." + +Mr. Middleton looked upon the photograph of a man who seemed to be +possessed of some of the best qualities of manhood. It was true that +there was a slight suspicion of weakness in the face, but above all it +was kindly and sympathetic. + +"A good looking man," said Mr. Middleton. + +"Smart man, too," said the matrimonial agent. "He graduated from the +university in Evanston and was a lawyer and a good one, until a friend +fired off one of those big duck guns in his ear for a joke." + +Taking the odalisque with him in a cab, Mr. Middleton was off for the +residence of Mr. Crayburn. + +"Will she have me?" asked Mr. Crayburn, when he had read Mr. +Middleton's hastily penciled account of the main facts of his +connection with the fair Moslem, wherein for brevity's sake he had +omitted any mention of the fifteen hundred dollars the emir had given +him for assuming charge of her. + +"Of course," wrote Mr. Middleton. + +"I never saw a more beautiful woman," exclaimed Mr. Crayburn. "By the +way, have you noticed any predilections, habits, wants, it would be +well for me to know about?" + +"She smokes," wrote Mr. Middleton, not knowing why he wrote it, and +wishing like the devil that he hadn't the moment he had. + +"All Oriental women smoke. I will ask her not to as soon as she learns +English." + +Mr. Middleton was amazed to think that such a simple solution had not +occurred to him. But he was glad it was so, for he had not been +unscathed by Cupid's darts there last night and he might not now be +about to visit the young lady of Englewood. + +"Your fee," said Mr. Crayburn. + +Mr. Middleton had not thought of this. He looked about at the +handsomely furnished room. He thought of the five thousand dollars a +year and the very much smaller income he could offer the young lady of +Englewood. He thought of these things and other things. He thought of +the young lady of Englewood; of the odalisque, toward whom he occupied +the position of what is known in law as next friend. She sat behind +him, out of his sight, but he saw her, saw her as he saw her for the +first time, when, ripping the bag away, she lay there in her piteous, +appealing helplessness. + +"There is no fee. The maiden even has a dowry of fifteen hundred +dollars. Please invest it in her name. Oh, sir, treat her kindly." + +"Treat her kindly!" exclaimed the deaf man with emotion. "He would be +a hound who could ill treat one so helpless and friendless, a stranger +in a strange land, whose very beauty would be her undoing, were she +without a protector." + +Much relieved, Mr. Middleton prepared to depart and the odalisque saw +she was not to be included in his departure. She noted the luxurious +appointments of the house, so different from the threadbare and seedy +furnishings of Mr. Middleton's one lone room, but rather a thousand +times would she have been there. A tumult of yearning and love filled +her heart, but beyond the slow tears in her eyes and the trembling +lips, no one could have guessed it. Once more she was a Moslem slave, +sold by the man whom last night she had thought----She bowed to kismet +and strangled her feelings as she had so many times before. And so +after a shake of the hand, Mr. Middleton left her, left her to learn +as the idol of Mr. Crayburn's life, with every whim gratified, that +the first American she had known was but one of millions. + +Away toward Englewood hastened Mr. Middleton, reasoning with himself +in a somewhat casuistical manner. His conscience smote him as he +thought of the previous night. But what else could anybody have done? +Deprived of the power of communicating by the means of words, he had +by caresses assuaged her grief and stilled her fears and now it was +too plain he had made her love him and he had left her in desolation. +But heigho! what was the use of repining over spilled milk and +nicotined fingers that another man and good would care for, and he +himself had not been unscathed by Cupid's darts there the night +before. + +The young lady of Englewood was just putting on her hat to go out and +was standing before the mirror in the hallway. Mr. Middleton had never +called at that hour of the day. For months he had not called at all +and she never expected that he would again. So without any +apprehension at all, she was wearing one of the green silk shirt +waists she had made from the Turkish trousers he had given her, and +had just got her hat placed to suit her, when there he was! + +She turned, blushing furiously. Whether it was the confusion caused +her by being discovered in this shirt waist, or the joy of seeing him +again and the complete surrender, she made in this joy, so delectable +and unexpected and which was not unmixed with a little fear that if he +went away this time, he would never come back again, never! whether it +was these things or what not, she made no struggle at all as Mr. +Middleton threw his arms about her, threw them about her as if she +were to rescue him from some fate, and though he said nothing +intelligible for some time, but kissed her lips, cheeks, and nose, +which latter she had been at pains to powder against the hot sun then +prevailing, she made no resistance at all and breathed an audible +"yes," when he uttered a few incoherent remarks which might be +interpreted as a proposal of marriage. + +Here let us leave him, for all else would be anti-climax to this +supreme moment of his life. Here let us leave him where I wish every +deserving bachelor may some day be: in the arms of an honest and +loving woman who is his affianced wife. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton, by +Wardon Allan Curtis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STRANGE ADVENTURES MR. MIDDLETON *** + +***** This file should be named 27917.txt or 27917.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/9/1/27917/ + +Produced by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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