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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/27624-8.txt b/27624-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d5d16e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/27624-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,549 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Marry Well, by Mrs. Hungerford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: How to Marry Well + +Author: Mrs. Hungerford + +Release Date: December 25, 2008 [EBook #27624] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO MARRY WELL *** + + + + +Produced by Daniel Fromont + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's note: Mrs. Hungerford (Margaret Wolfe Hamilton) +(1855?-1897) "How to marry well" (from The Ladies' Home Journal +vol. VII No IV Philadelphia March 1890 p.6)] + + + + +The Duchess + + +How to marry well + + +Some girls start in life with the idea that to snub the opposite sex is +the surest way of bringing it to their feet. All such imaginings are +vain! A man may be amused by the coquettish impertinences of a girl, he +may even be attracted by it to a certain extent, but in the end he +feels repulsion, and unless it be the exception that proves the rule, +hastens away presently to lay his name and fortune at the disposal of +some more modest girl. + +To marry _well_ is the note that strikes more clearly on the brain of +the débutante's mother than on the ear of that interesting person +herself. A girl starting in life feels all the world is before her +where to choose. She gives, indeed, too little thought to the subject. +She comes fresh from the schoolroom into the crowded drawing-room, +thinking only how best to enjoy herself. The thought of marriage, if +near, is yet so far, that it hardly interferes with her pleasure in the +waltz, the theatre, or the eternal afternoon tea. + +It is a pity that the educational standard fixed for young girls +now-a-days is of so low an order. A smattering of French, a word or two +of German, an _idea_ of what music really means, as gained from a three +years' acquaintance with scales and movements, and songs without +words--this is all! There is, of course, a good deal of reading with +scientific masters that serves only to puzzle the brains half given to +the matter in hand, and then the girl is emancipated from the +schoolroom, and let loose upon society to "be settled in life," says +Mamma. + +Some of these girls _do_ marry well--surprisingly so! But they are +amongst the few. As for the rest, they make their own lives and their +husband's a burden to them. Without having time given them to mature +their ideas, these latter are hurried into matrimony while still +children, without having formed a conception of the terrible +responsibility that attaches itself to every human soul who agrees to +join itself to another. + +These latter do not make good matches in any one sense of the word. The +struggling barrister, the clerk, the curate, the brainless masher--such +are their prey; and if they make richer prizes than these, still the +match cannot be called _good;_ presently there is dis-union as the +clever husband finds the pretty but nonsensical wife utterly unable to +follow him through the paths of life that Fate has opened out to him. + +It is a common idea that men care only for beauty, and are to be +attracted by no lesser virtue--if virtue it may be called. This is a +most gross error that even the earliest of our thinkers has laid bare. +What says Thomas Carew: + + "But a smooth and steadfast mind, + Gentle thoughts and calm desires, + Hearts with equal love combined, + Kindle never-dying fires:-- + Where these are not, I despise + Lovely cheeks or lips or eyes." + + +We see, then, that there are things more desirable to the masculine +mind than the mere charms of the flesh. To be beautiful is a good +thing, for which we should thank Nature--to be attractive, morally, +rather than physically, is, however, a thing for which we should thank +Nature even more, if she be good enough to have endowed us with that +lasting quality. Let a girl learn once for all that her little +schoolgirl airs and graces can please only the unintellectual of her +set, that to make a good match, in the most noble sense of the word, is +to form herself to be the equal of the man she marries, and all will be +right. I speak advisedly, because a girl who has the courage to so plan +out her future is very unlikely to wed with any save the most desirable +of the other sex. + +But what _is_ a good match? Does it mean a man with money only, or +position only, or intellect only, or only a capacity for being good +humored under each and every circumstance? The common acceptation of +the term means a man in such a moneyed position that he can place his +wife considerably above that of her friends, so far as money goes. And +that is a very good thing too, so far as it goes. But to be rich is not +everything! The merely sordid, the entirely uneducated can rise to this +height, but surely to make a _good_ match one's husband should be the +possessor of something more than money. He should be cultured, refined, +intelligent, and therefore the girl who wishes to mate with him, should +take care to be cultured and refined herself. Half the bad matches in +the world are caused either by the educated women marrying the man +thoroughly beneath her in all moral qualities, or the man who has spent +his life cultivating his mind, falling a slave to the petty fascination +of a pretty woman who has only beauty to give him--nothing more! + +What girls should never forget is to be _neat!_ Not primly so, but +daintily so. The girl well got up, with irreproachable gloves, and +shoes that fit, though her gown be only cotton, yet if it be well +turned out, may compete with the richest, while the slovenly dresser, +who scorns or forgets to give attention to details, is passed over by +the discontented eye, though her gown may be a masterpiece of Worth. + +A girl should learn to put her gown on properly. No creature living +takes more heed of externals than your orthodox man. He may not know +the price, color, or material of your clothes, but he will know to a +nicety whether you are well or badly gowned. + +One special point I would impress upon the girl who desires, (as all +girls do) to range themselves well, to make a good marriage--is to be +_gentle_. The craze for vivacity, for the free and easy style that +border so closely on the manners of the _demi monde_ that distinguished +the society of ten years ago has providentially died a natural death. +Now-a-days, men are sensible enough to look for _comfort_ in their +married lives. And surely the knowledge that one's future wife has a +heart as tender as it is sympathetic should, and does, go far to +arrange a man's decision of who shall be the partner of his daily life. + +I was much struck by a little incident that occurred last year, and +helped to prove the truth of this argument. I, amongst others, +belonging to a large party who were waiting at a railway station for +the train that was to carry us down to a garden party at one of the +many lovely places on the Thames, saw an old man, a decrepit creature, +bowed and palsied, making his way to where the third-class compartment +would be. His arms were full of bundles of various sizes. Coming near a +truck, the old man, who was half blind, marched against the edge of it, +and all his little bundles fell helplessly to the ground. Most of the +young people belonging to our party broke into an irresistible laugh. +They were not so much to be blamed. Youth _will_ see amusement in even +trifles, but there was one amongst us who did not laugh. The old man's +chagrin seemed to touch _her_. She went quickly forward, and as he +groped nervously for his parcels she lifted them one by one, and laid +them in his arms. She was not a strictly pretty girl, but there was +dignity and sweetness both in her face and in her action. I noticed +that a young man, one of our party, watched her intently. He was rich, +titled, one of _the_ matches of the London season. Supreme admiration +showed itself in his face. He demanded an introduction. I gave it. In +six months they were man and wife. _She_ made a good match, and so did +he, in every sense of the word. + +There is one last remark, however, and a vital one, that I must make. +No match, however distinguished either by money or position, can be +called a _good_ one unless "love," who "is a great Master," be the very +core of it. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Marry Well, by Mrs. Hungerford + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO MARRY WELL *** + +***** This file should be named 27624-8.txt or 27624-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/6/2/27624/ + +Produced by Daniel Fromont + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/27624-8.zip b/27624-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..76db4a2 --- /dev/null +++ b/27624-8.zip diff --git a/27624.txt b/27624.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..afdc14d --- /dev/null +++ b/27624.txt @@ -0,0 +1,549 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Marry Well, by Mrs. Hungerford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: How to Marry Well + +Author: Mrs. Hungerford + +Release Date: December 25, 2008 [EBook #27624] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO MARRY WELL *** + + + + +Produced by Daniel Fromont + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's note: Mrs. Hungerford (Margaret Wolfe Hamilton) +(1855?-1897) "How to marry well" (from The Ladies' Home Journal +vol. VII No IV Philadelphia March 1890 p.6)] + + + + +The Duchess + + +How to marry well + + +Some girls start in life with the idea that to snub the opposite sex is +the surest way of bringing it to their feet. All such imaginings are +vain! A man may be amused by the coquettish impertinences of a girl, he +may even be attracted by it to a certain extent, but in the end he +feels repulsion, and unless it be the exception that proves the rule, +hastens away presently to lay his name and fortune at the disposal of +some more modest girl. + +To marry _well_ is the note that strikes more clearly on the brain of +the debutante's mother than on the ear of that interesting person +herself. A girl starting in life feels all the world is before her +where to choose. She gives, indeed, too little thought to the subject. +She comes fresh from the schoolroom into the crowded drawing-room, +thinking only how best to enjoy herself. The thought of marriage, if +near, is yet so far, that it hardly interferes with her pleasure in the +waltz, the theatre, or the eternal afternoon tea. + +It is a pity that the educational standard fixed for young girls +now-a-days is of so low an order. A smattering of French, a word or two +of German, an _idea_ of what music really means, as gained from a three +years' acquaintance with scales and movements, and songs without +words--this is all! There is, of course, a good deal of reading with +scientific masters that serves only to puzzle the brains half given to +the matter in hand, and then the girl is emancipated from the +schoolroom, and let loose upon society to "be settled in life," says +Mamma. + +Some of these girls _do_ marry well--surprisingly so! But they are +amongst the few. As for the rest, they make their own lives and their +husband's a burden to them. Without having time given them to mature +their ideas, these latter are hurried into matrimony while still +children, without having formed a conception of the terrible +responsibility that attaches itself to every human soul who agrees to +join itself to another. + +These latter do not make good matches in any one sense of the word. The +struggling barrister, the clerk, the curate, the brainless masher--such +are their prey; and if they make richer prizes than these, still the +match cannot be called _good;_ presently there is dis-union as the +clever husband finds the pretty but nonsensical wife utterly unable to +follow him through the paths of life that Fate has opened out to him. + +It is a common idea that men care only for beauty, and are to be +attracted by no lesser virtue--if virtue it may be called. This is a +most gross error that even the earliest of our thinkers has laid bare. +What says Thomas Carew: + + "But a smooth and steadfast mind, + Gentle thoughts and calm desires, + Hearts with equal love combined, + Kindle never-dying fires:-- + Where these are not, I despise + Lovely cheeks or lips or eyes." + + +We see, then, that there are things more desirable to the masculine +mind than the mere charms of the flesh. To be beautiful is a good +thing, for which we should thank Nature--to be attractive, morally, +rather than physically, is, however, a thing for which we should thank +Nature even more, if she be good enough to have endowed us with that +lasting quality. Let a girl learn once for all that her little +schoolgirl airs and graces can please only the unintellectual of her +set, that to make a good match, in the most noble sense of the word, is +to form herself to be the equal of the man she marries, and all will be +right. I speak advisedly, because a girl who has the courage to so plan +out her future is very unlikely to wed with any save the most desirable +of the other sex. + +But what _is_ a good match? Does it mean a man with money only, or +position only, or intellect only, or only a capacity for being good +humored under each and every circumstance? The common acceptation of +the term means a man in such a moneyed position that he can place his +wife considerably above that of her friends, so far as money goes. And +that is a very good thing too, so far as it goes. But to be rich is not +everything! The merely sordid, the entirely uneducated can rise to this +height, but surely to make a _good_ match one's husband should be the +possessor of something more than money. He should be cultured, refined, +intelligent, and therefore the girl who wishes to mate with him, should +take care to be cultured and refined herself. Half the bad matches in +the world are caused either by the educated women marrying the man +thoroughly beneath her in all moral qualities, or the man who has spent +his life cultivating his mind, falling a slave to the petty fascination +of a pretty woman who has only beauty to give him--nothing more! + +What girls should never forget is to be _neat!_ Not primly so, but +daintily so. The girl well got up, with irreproachable gloves, and +shoes that fit, though her gown be only cotton, yet if it be well +turned out, may compete with the richest, while the slovenly dresser, +who scorns or forgets to give attention to details, is passed over by +the discontented eye, though her gown may be a masterpiece of Worth. + +A girl should learn to put her gown on properly. No creature living +takes more heed of externals than your orthodox man. He may not know +the price, color, or material of your clothes, but he will know to a +nicety whether you are well or badly gowned. + +One special point I would impress upon the girl who desires, (as all +girls do) to range themselves well, to make a good marriage--is to be +_gentle_. The craze for vivacity, for the free and easy style that +border so closely on the manners of the _demi monde_ that distinguished +the society of ten years ago has providentially died a natural death. +Now-a-days, men are sensible enough to look for _comfort_ in their +married lives. And surely the knowledge that one's future wife has a +heart as tender as it is sympathetic should, and does, go far to +arrange a man's decision of who shall be the partner of his daily life. + +I was much struck by a little incident that occurred last year, and +helped to prove the truth of this argument. I, amongst others, +belonging to a large party who were waiting at a railway station for +the train that was to carry us down to a garden party at one of the +many lovely places on the Thames, saw an old man, a decrepit creature, +bowed and palsied, making his way to where the third-class compartment +would be. His arms were full of bundles of various sizes. Coming near a +truck, the old man, who was half blind, marched against the edge of it, +and all his little bundles fell helplessly to the ground. Most of the +young people belonging to our party broke into an irresistible laugh. +They were not so much to be blamed. Youth _will_ see amusement in even +trifles, but there was one amongst us who did not laugh. The old man's +chagrin seemed to touch _her_. She went quickly forward, and as he +groped nervously for his parcels she lifted them one by one, and laid +them in his arms. She was not a strictly pretty girl, but there was +dignity and sweetness both in her face and in her action. I noticed +that a young man, one of our party, watched her intently. He was rich, +titled, one of _the_ matches of the London season. Supreme admiration +showed itself in his face. He demanded an introduction. I gave it. In +six months they were man and wife. _She_ made a good match, and so did +he, in every sense of the word. + +There is one last remark, however, and a vital one, that I must make. +No match, however distinguished either by money or position, can be +called a _good_ one unless "love," who "is a great Master," be the very +core of it. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Marry Well, by Mrs. Hungerford + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO MARRY WELL *** + +***** This file should be named 27624.txt or 27624.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/6/2/27624/ + +Produced by Daniel Fromont + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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