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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/27193-h.zip b/27193-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a360ed1 --- /dev/null +++ b/27193-h.zip diff --git a/27193-h/27193-h.htm b/27193-h/27193-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..26ccb76 --- /dev/null +++ b/27193-h/27193-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2149 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Through St. Dunstan's To Light, by Private James H. Rawlinson. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + div.centered {text-align: center;} /* work around for IE centering with CSS problem part 1 */ + div.centered table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;} /* work around for IE centering with CSS problem part 2 */ + + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's Through St. Dunstan's to Light, by James H. Rawlinson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Through St. Dunstan's to Light + +Author: James H. Rawlinson + +Release Date: November 7, 2008 [EBook #27193] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THROUGH ST. DUNSTAN'S TO LIGHT *** + + + + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian +Libraries) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 356px;"> +<p><a name="frontis" id="frontis"></a></p> +<img src="images/i001.jpg" width="356" height="600" alt="Private James H. Rawlinson" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Private James H. Rawlinson</span> +</div> + +<h1>Through St. Dunstan's to Light</h1> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>PRIVATE JAMES H. RAWLINSON</h2> + +<h4><span class="smcap">58th Battalion</span>, C.E.F.</h4> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<img src="images/i002.jpg" width="100" height="69" alt="" title="publishers logo" /> +</div> +<p class="center">TORONTO<br /> + +THOMAS ALLEN<br /> + +1919<br /><br /> + +COPYRIGHT, CANADA, 1919 BY THOMAS ALLEN</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<div class='centered'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="50%" summary="CONTENTS"> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter I</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>My Ticket for Blighty</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter II</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>In Blighty</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_14'>14</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter III</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>At St. Dunstan's</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_23'>23</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter IV</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>Braille</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_32'>32</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter V</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>The Spirit of St. Dunstan's</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_37'>37</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter VI</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>Air Raids</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_45'>45</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter VII</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>Royal Visitors</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_55'>55</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>In Playtime</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_61'>61</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter IX</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>Memories of the Fighting Front</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_68'>68</a></td></tr> +<tr><th align='center'><span class="smcap">Chapter X</span></th></tr> +<tr><td align='center'>The Point of View of the Sightless</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_74'>74</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ILLUSTRATIONS" id="ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> + + + +<div class='centered'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" width="50%" summary="ILLUSTRATIONS"> +<tr><td align='left'>Private James H. Rawlinson</td><td align='right'><a href='#frontis'><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The Boot-Repairing Workshop</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_12'>12</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Sir Arthur Pearson</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_16'>16</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>St. Dunstan's: The House</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_24'>24</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The Carpenter Shop</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_30'>30</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The Braille Room</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_34'>34</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Mat Weaving</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_56'>56</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Sightless Canadian Four</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_66'>66</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Basket Weaving</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_84'>84</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h1><br /><span class="smcap">Through St. Dunstan's to Light</span><br /><br /></h1> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h3>MY TICKET FOR BLIGHTY</h3> + + +<p>In the World War, it was not only the men who went "over the top" to +assault enemy positions who ran great risks. Scouts, snipers, patrols, +working parties, all took their lives in their hands every time they +ventured into No Man's Land, and even those who were engaged in +essential work behind the lines were far from being safe from death or +wounds. On the morning of June 7th, 1917, before dawn had broken, I was +out with a working party. Suddenly, overhead, sounded the ominous +drumming and droning of an aeroplane. It proved to be a Hun plane; the +aviator had spotted us, and was speedily in touch with the battery<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span> for +which he was working. Fortunately for us, he had mistaken our exact +position, and evidently thought we were on a road which ran towards the +front line about thirty yards to our left. The enemy guns, in answer to +his signals, opened up with a terrific fire, and the scenery round about +was soon in a fine mess. Shells of varying calibre came thundering in +our direction, throwing up, as they burst, miniature volcanoes and +filling the air with dust and mud and smoke. This shell-fire continued +for about three-quarters of an hour, but due to the defect in the +aviator's signals and our own skill in taking cover we suffered no +casualties. We were congratulating ourselves that we were to pass +through this ordeal uninjured, when suddenly a 5.9-inch shell fell +short. It exploded almost in our midst, and I was unlucky enough to get +in the way of one of the shrapnel bullets. I felt a slight sting in my +right temple as though pricked by a red-hot needle—and then the world +became black.</p> + +<p>Dawn was now breaking, but night had sealed my eyes, and I could only +grope my way among my comrades. I was hit about 2.30<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> a.m., and it +speaks volumes for the Medical Service that at 2 p.m. I was tucked +safely in bed in a thoroughly-equipped hospital many miles from the +scene of my mishap.</p> + +<p>Willing hands tenderly dressed my wounds and led me to the foot of the +ridge on which we were located. I was then placed on a stretcher, and +carried up the slope to one of the narrow-gauge railways that had been +run to the crest of Vimy Ridge. I was now taken to the end of what is +called the Y Road, and thence borne to one of the ambulances which are +always in waiting there, grim reminders of the work in hand.</p> + +<p>My first impression of my ambulance driver was that I had fallen into +the hands of a Good Samaritan. He was most solicitous about the welfare +of the "head-case," and kept showering me with questions, such as: "Are +you comfortable, Mac?" (everyone in the Canadian Corps was "Mac" to the +stranger). "Tell me if I am driving too fast for you; you know, the +roads are a little lumpy round here." I didn't know it, but I was +quickly to become aware of the fact. His words and his driving did not +harmonize;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> if he missed a single shell-hole in the wide stretch of +France through which he drove, it was not his fault. I shall never +forget the agony of that drive; but at length, bruised and shaken, I +arrived at the Casualty Clearing Station at—but, no, I will not mention +its name; some of my readers may know the men who were there at the time +of my arrival, and there is pain enough in the world without +unnecessarily adding to the total. At the Clearing Station I learned two +things: First, that all the best souvenirs of the war are in the +possession of men who seldom or never saw the front line; and, secondly, +the real meaning, so far as the wounded "Tommy" is concerned, of the +letters R.A.M.C. The official records say they stand for the Royal Army +Medical Corps; but ask the men who have passed through the hands of the +Corps. They'll tell you with picturesque vehemence, and there will be +nothing Royal or Medical in their answer. For my own poor part, here's +hoping that the thirty-eight francs that disappeared from my pockets +while in their hands did some good somewhere. But I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> sadly wanted that +money while in the hospital at Boulogne to satisfy a craving I had for +oranges. Perhaps the beer or <i>eau de vie</i> that it no doubt purchased did +more good than the oranges would have done me. Again, let us hope so!</p> + +<p>From the Casualty Clearing Station I was taken to the hospital at St. +Omer, which was later to be laid flat by Hun air raids. And here, for +the first time, I realized the full weight of the calamity that had +overtaken me, and what being "windy" really meant. I was first visited +by the M.O., who removed my bandage and had my head skilfully dressed; +after him came a priest of the Church to which I belonged, who +administered to me the rites of the Church; then followed the assistant +matron, who endeavoured to cheer me up by asking if I wished to have any +letters written home. Before my inward eyes there began to flash visions +of a newspaper notice: "Died of wounds." But although a bit alarmed, +more by the attentions shown me than by my physical condition, the +thought of pegging-out never seriously entered my mind.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> + +<p>I spent four days at the hospital at St. Omer, and was then transferred +to Boulogne, together with a New Zealand sergeant who was in the same +plight as myself, and whom I later had the pleasure of meeting under +more favourable and happier conditions at dear old St. Dunstan's. At +Boulogne, I was given a thorough examination, and the doctors concluded +that an absolutely useless member of the body was an unnecessary burden +to the bearer, and so they removed what remained of my left eye. I was +still vainly hoping that my right eye, which was remote from my wound, +might recover its sight; but as the days crept by while the blackness of +night hung about me I grew alarmed, and one day I asked the O.C. +hospital why he was constantly lifting up my right eyelid. Truth to +tell, I was scared stiff with the thought that they were contemplating +removing my remaining eye, but I gave no outward sign of my fear. No +matter how "windy" one is, it would never do to let the other fellow +know it, at least not while you are wearing the uniform of the +Canadians. I, therefore, quickly followed my first question with the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> +inquiry if he thought he might yet get some daylight into my right eye. +"When?" he questioned. And, still clinging to the hope that I was not to +be forever in the dark, I replied, "In five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five +years; any time, so long as I get some light." In answer, he merely +patted me on the shoulder, saying: "Never mind, things are not always +quite so bad as they look." Then he moved away from my cot, and a moment +later I heard him talking in undertones to another officer. This +officer, whom he now brought to my bedside, proved to be Captain Towse, +the bravest man it has ever been my privilege to meet, and while I was +up the line I met many brave men who, where duty called, counted life +not at a pin's fee.</p> + +<p>Captain Towse is a double V.C. It is hard enough to get the Cross +itself, and there are few men who dare even to dream of a bar to it. I +was now in personal touch with a man who, in distant Africa, during the +Great Boer War, with both eyes shot away, had gallantly stood firm, +urging his men to the charge. He came to my bedside<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> with a cheery: +"Good morning, Canada! How is the boy this morning?" My answer was the +usual one of the boys in France: "Jakealoo!" Then he pointedly asked me +a question that set me wondering at its purport.</p> + +<p>"You are a soldier, are you not, Canada?"</p> + +<p>I replied with a somewhat mournful: "Well, I was one time, but I can't +say much as to the truth of that now."</p> + +<p>Then he hit me harder than any Hun shell could hit a man. He snapped out +in a voice penetrating, yet with a cheery ring to it: "Well, you are +blind, and for life. How do you like it?"</p> + +<p>For about five seconds (it was no longer) the night that sealed my eyes +seemed to clutch my soul. I was for the moment "down and out"; but I +braced my spirits in the presence of this dominating man. I would show +him how a Canadian soldier could bear misfortune. So I gathered myself +together as best I could under the circumstances; swore just a little to +ease my nervous strain, and replied: "That's a hell of a thing to tell a +guy."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> + +<p>Then came words that rolled a mighty load from heart and brain. Captain +Towse praised my soldierly bearing under misfortune, and praise from +this blind double V.C. meant much. He had been sorely smitten at a time +when there was no St. Dunstan's, no Sir Arthur Pearson, to make his +blindness into just a handicap, instead of what it nearly always was +before the days of St. Dunstan's, an unparalleled affliction. But +Captain Towse beat blindness, and did it, for the most part, alone.</p> + +<p>Now the cruel fact had to be faced; the only world I would see +henceforth would be that conjured up by the imagination from memories of +the past. Then the difficulties of the future crowded upon me. Even if I +were not to see as other people do I should still have to eat; and +dinners do not grow by the roadside, and if they did I could not see to +pick them up.</p> + +<p>"Well, Jim," I said to myself, "you are in a fine fix; what are you +going to do to get those three square meals a day that you were +accustomed to in civil life?" Then I began to wonder what particular +street and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> what street corner in old Toronto would be best suited for +selling matches, bootlaces, pencils, and postcards. While in this vein, +I conjured up visions of cold, grey days, days when customers did not +appear, and imagined myself led home at night without having enough to +buy even a meal. My humour suggested strolling along the roadside +singing doleful songs. I even chose a song, "The Blind Boy," by the late +W. G. Chirgwin, on which I might try my voice.</p> + +<p>All this passed through my mind while Captain Towse was still standing +by my cot.</p> + +<p>I was suddenly startled from my gruesome speculations by the captain +asking me if I had made up my mind to go to St. Dunstan's. I had to +confess that I did not know the place, where it was, or what it was for. +Then he told me that he wished to take down some particulars regarding +me. He wanted to know my full name, regimental number, when I was hit, +where I received my wound, who was my next of kin, and many other +particulars, all of which I, at that time, thought a most unnecessary +and foolish proceeding.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + +<p>While the Captain was questioning me, I heard a rapid, clicking sound +following each of my answers. The noise fascinated me, and after a brief +time I made bold to ask him what it was. The answer fairly staggered me.</p> + +<p>"It's a Braille machine," he replied. "I am writing down your answers."</p> + +<p>I knew he was blind—blinder than any bat; and, in my ignorance, I asked +him, in an irritated voice, if he thought that it was fair to try "to +kid" a man who had just been told that he would never again have the use +of his eyes. He uttered no word, but I had a feeling that a smile was +playing on his lips; and the next moment the machine he had been +operating was placed in my hands. He then began patiently to explain its +use, and what a moment before had seemed an utter impossibility I +realized to be a fact. Although the blind could not see, they at least +had it in their power to put down their thoughts without the aid of a +second party; and, not only that, the world of knowledge was no longer a +sealed book—they could read as well as write. The eye had been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> +accustomed to carry the printed word to the brain; now the finger tips +could take the place of eyes. I now recalled that I had seen a blind man +sitting at a street corner, running his fingers over the pages of a big +book; but I had paid no heed to it, thinking it merely a fake +performance to gain sympathy from the public. I told this to Captain +Towse, and he replied kindly that I should soon learn much greater +things about the blind. At St. Dunstan's, he said, there were about +three hundred men, all more or less sightless, making baskets, mats, +hammocks, nets, bags, and dozens of other useful articles, mending +boots, doing carpentry, learning the poultry business, fitting +themselves for massage work, and, what seemed to me most incredible, +taking up stenography as an occupation.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i020.jpg" width="600" height="448" alt="The Boot-Repairing Workshop" title="" /> +<span class="caption">The Boot-Repairing Workshop</span> +</div> + +<p>Men—men who could not see as did other men, were doing these things; +straightway, the old street corner, the selling of matches and +shoelaces, the street strolling singing in a cracked voice while +twanging some tuneless instrument, vanished. Other men had risen above +this crowning infirmity; why could not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> I. Boulogne and this meeting +with Captain Towse had saved me. Gloom vanished, for the moment at any +rate, and my whole being was animated by a great resolve—the resolve to +win in the battle of life, even though I had to fight against fearful +odds.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<h3>IN BLIGHTY</h3> + + +<p>It was with a sense of relief that, shortly after this, I received word +that I was to be sent to England. To me, it was the promised land, in +which I was to be fitted to take my place as a useful, independent +member of society. The trip to Dover was pleasant and exhilarating; the +run to London a bit tedious. But an incident that occurred on my arrival +at Charing Cross Station touched my heart as has nothing else in my +life, and my misfortune seemed, for the moment, almost a blessing; it +taught me that hearts beat right and true, and that about me were men +and women eager to cheer me on as I played the game of life.</p> + +<p>It was just one of London's flower-girls, one of the women who +religiously meet the hospital trains and shower on the wounded soldiers +the flowers they have not sold—flowers, no doubt, held back from sale +in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> most cases for this charitable purpose. When the attendants were +moving me from the train and placing me on a stretcher, I was gently +touched, and a large bunch of roses placed in my hand. The act was +accompanied by the words: "'Ere ye are, Tommy. These 'ere roses will +'elp to liven things up a bit when yer gets in the 'ospital. Good luck +to you, matey; may yer soon get better." The voice was harsh and +unmusical. Grammar and accent showed that it had been trained in the +slums; but the kindly act, the sympathetic words, touched my soul.</p> + +<p>The act was much to me, but the flowers were nothing. In answer to the +girl's good wishes, I replied that I did not see as well as I used to, +and that my power of enjoying the perfume of flowers had also been taken +from me; perhaps there were some other wounded boys who could appreciate +the beauty and scent of the flowers better than I could, and she had +better put them on one of their stretchers. But she left them with me, +and, in a voice in which I could detect a tear, said:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>—</p> + +<p>"Well, matey, if yer can't see, yer can feel. Let's give yer a kiss."</p> + +<p>I nodded assent, and then I received the first kiss from a woman's lips +that I had had since I left home—and then she passed away, but the +memory of that kiss remains, and will remain while life lasts.</p> + +<p>I was now taken to St. George's Hospital, and from there to No. 2 London +General Hospital (old St. Mark's College), Chelsea. In this institution +I met for the first time one of the geniuses of the present age, a man +who spent his life working not with clay or marble, or wood or metal, +but with human beings, taking the derelicts of life and moulding them +into useful vessels—Sir Arthur Pearson, a true miracle worker, a man +who has given the equivalent of eyes to hundreds of blind people, who +has enabled many men who felt themselves down and out to face life's +battle bravely, teaching them to look upon their affliction as nothing +more than a petty handicap. A few years ago, as everyone knows, Sir +Arthur was one of the leading journalists and publishers in the British +Empire, the true founder of Imperial<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> journalism. At the summit of his +career, while still a comparatively young man, he was smitten with +blindness. He would not let a thing like that beat him; he conquered +blindness, and set himself to help others to conquer it. He soon became +the leading spirit in the education of the blind in Great Britain, and, +despite his handicap, was elected President of the National Institute +for the Blind, and was the guiding star in many organizations +established to aid the sightless. When war broke out his success as an +organizer, his power as a teacher, caused the authorities to choose him +to look after the blinded of the Army and Navy.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 362px;"> +<img src="images/i026.jpg" width="362" height="600" alt="Sir Arthur Pearson" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Sir Arthur Pearson</span> +</div> + +<p>My meeting with Sir Arthur occurred in the following manner. The ward +door was open—I knew that by the gentle breeze that swept across my +cot. Suddenly, from the direction of the door, a cheery voice exclaimed: +"Are any new men here? Where's Rawlinson?"</p> + +<p>I answered: "Right here, sir! But who are you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, Rawlinson, and how are you getting along? When do they figure on +letting you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> get away from here? You know, we are waiting for you at St. +Dunstan's."</p> + +<p>I knew then that the man standing by my cot was the famous Sir Arthur. I +shook hands with him, and thanked him for his kindly interest in asking +about me. I offered him the chair that always stands beside the hospital +bed. He must have heard me moving some objects I had placed on it, in +order to have them within reach of my hands.</p> + +<p>"Never mind the chair," he said. "Just sit up a bit; there is room +enough on the bed for both of us. Have you got a cigarette to give a +fellow?"</p> + +<p>I apologized, saying that I had only —— ——, and that I didn't think +he would care to smoke them.</p> + +<p>"Do you smoke them?" he questioned. "If they're good enough for you to +smoke, they're good enough for me."</p> + +<p>That set me right at my ease. I was in the presence of a knight; but he +was first and last a <i>man</i>. Straight to the point he went. He never puts +a man through that bugbear of the soldier, a host of seemingly +inconsequential questions; he has the particu<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>lars of each man who is +likely to come under his direction long before he visits him.</p> + +<p>"Have you," he said, "made up your mind to join our happy band at St. +Dunstan's. There's lots of room up there for you, and we want you."</p> + +<p>Just here I would remark that No. 2 General was a sort of preparatory +school for St. Dunstan's. The adjutant from one of the St. Dunstan's +establishments, either the House, College, or Bungalow, came to read the +newspapers and talk with the men who were to study under him. So we had +by this means picked up much information about Sir Arthur, and knew the +man even before meeting him; but the being conjured up by our +imagination fell far short of the real man. He did not come to your +bedside commiserating with you over your misfortune. He was totally +unlike the average visitor, whose one aim seemed to be to impress on you +some appropriate—often most inappropriate, considering your +condition—text of scripture. Well, he was with me, and we talked and +smoked, the knight and the private soldier, both blind, but both +completely ignoring the fact. Dur<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>ing our talk darkness seemed to +vanish, and I saw a great light—the battle could be won, and I would +win it. After that conference, I knew full well that I should not be a +burden upon anybody, sightless though I was.</p> + +<p>Up to this time my idea of a blind man was just what is or was that of +the average sighted person—a man groping his way about the streets or +standing at some conspicuous corner with a card hanging on his breast +telling the world that he could not see; a cup to hold the coppers that +the sympathetic public would drop into it; and last, but not least, a +faithful little dog, his friend and guide. During the first days of my +blindness I often wondered where I was going to get a suitable pup.</p> + +<p>While at No. 2 London General, preparation for my future work went on. +As soon as I was able to get out of bed, I was taken once each week to +St. Dunstan's to talk with other men in residence there—a species of +initiation. While in hospital, too, as soon as we were able to work a +little, we were given the rudiments of Braille. This was not compulsory; +and if we wished to yield to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> fate and sit with hands idly folded we +were at liberty to do so. But the majority of the men were eager for +occupation of any kind.</p> + +<p>Lying in bed or sitting on a hospital chair, unable to see the objects +about you, there is a danger of deep depression being occasioned by +melancholy brooding. To prevent this, the V.A.D.'s who worked in the St. +Dunstan's Ward saw to it that the men were not left too much to +themselves, and kindly attention kept me from becoming morbid while +waiting for my exchange to St. Dunstan's.</p> + +<p>As I was a Canadian, I had to go down to the Canadian Hospital to +receive my final Board—just a matter of that child of the devil, +red-tape. August 13th saw me on my way to Regent's Park, where St. +Dunstan's is situated. My heart leaped within me; I was going to have +first-hand knowledge of the marvellous things about which I had heard. I +was going to learn things that would put me out of the stick, tin-cup, +card-around-my-neck, and little-dog class. Thirteen may be an unlucky +number, but that 13th of August was, notwithstanding my blindness, the +be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>ginning of the happiest year of my life since I left my mother's +home.</p> + +<p>On my way to St. Dunstan's, I journeyed from the Marble Arch to Orchard +Street, then by bus up Orchard Street, Upper Baker and Baker Streets, +right past Marylebone, on the right of which stands Madame Tussaud's +famous Wax-Works, and on to Baker Street tube. Just past the tube is +Clarence Gate, one of the entrances to Regent's Park. Entering the +grounds, we followed the park rails until we came to two white stone +pillars. I have painful recollections of these pillars. For the first +two weeks after my arrival at St. Dunstan's I made their acquaintance +frequently, and in no pleasant manner. I was anxious to find my way +about without assistance, and those pillars always seemed to stand in my +way. Head, shoulders, and shins all bumped into them. They would meet me +even if I walked in the broad roadway. And they were hard, very hard. +They were at first a pair of veritable ogres, but in the end I conquered +them, and could walk by them with a jaunty air, whistling a tune of +defiance.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<h3>AT ST. DUNSTAN'S</h3> + + +<p>When I arrived at St. Dunstan's, the place was practically deserted. The +summer holidays were on, and all the men were away, either at their +homes in the British Isles or at one of the annexes of St. Dunstan's. +Sir Arthur sees to it that no man goes without his vacation. Torquay and +Brighton were within easy reach, and at these seaside resorts there were +rest homes for the St. Dunstan's men. Since that time, so greatly has +the attendance increased, it has been found necessary to open other +vacation resorts. It is to these places that the sightless Colonials go. +When the boys got back, work began in earnest.</p> + +<p>I have been speaking of St. Dunstan's; it is now fitting that I give a +description of this Mecca of the sightless, or, as we say, of those who +do not see quite as well as other people. A hostel for the training of +those having<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> defective sight suggests a barrack-like structure with +whitewashed walls, board forms for the accommodation of the students, +and the rudest of furniture. What need is there of the beautiful for +those who are without eyes, or who have eyes that see not? But the blind +have a keen appreciation of the beautiful, and ample provision has been +made by the founders of St. Dunstan's for satisfying the aesthetic +craving of the students.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 650px;"> +<img src="images/i036.jpg" width="650" height="433" alt="St. Dunstan's: The House" title="" /> +<span class="caption">St. Dunstan's: The House</span> +</div> + +<p>St. Dunstan's stands on one of the largest estates in the city of +London. It is surpassed in size only by the Royal Palace of Buckingham. +The grounds are over sixteen acres in extent, and it has one of the most +beautiful lawns in the United Kingdom. The House belongs to Mr. Otto +Kahn, an American financier, who played an important part in bringing +the United States to the side of the Allies. When Sir Arthur Pearson +started out on his big drive in the interests of the soldiers and +sailors who might be deprived of their sight in the Great World War, Mr. +Kahn generously laid the whole of this magnificent estate at his +disposal. The House itself is one of the most famous in the United<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> +Kingdom. In the days when it was the property of Lord Londesborough, it +was often the scene of royal gatherings. The Kaiser visited it so +frequently that the people in the vicinity began to look upon his coming +as a matter of course. Entering the gate to the left, the first object +to meet the eye is the lodge-keeper's house, a picturesque, +rose-embowered structure. Then comes the lawn, a wide stretch of velvety +turf, cool and restful. The approach to the House itself is through an +avenue of mulberry trees, well intermingled with lime. In the summer +season the air is filled with the scent of flowers, welling forth from +roses, yellow jasmine, and pink almond blossoms. Entering the building +by the main entrance, to the left of the hallway the visitor sees the +office of Sir Arthur and those of his staff, who, under the supervision +of the chief, control the hostel. At either side of the hallway are two +magnificent chairs, one of which was the favourite seat of Edward the +Peacemaker, and the other that of Kaiser Wilhelm II., the German War +Lord. Passing through the hallway, the lounge room is reached, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> a +little farther the outer lounge, formerly Lord Londesborough's ballroom, +where are staged the charming concerts for which the House is famous.</p> + +<p>But St. Dunstan's is not a mere resthouse. It is essentially a humming +hive of industry, an educational institution where there is something +for everyone to learn. Whether a man can see or not, he can here find +occupation for his hands and mind. After all, we do not <i>see</i> with our +<i>eyes</i>; they merely carry sights to the seeing brain, and the hands, and +even feet, can perform the same duties, only in a different way. +Teachers were many and willing. And here I should like to record the +fact that no one can teach the blind quite as well as the other fellow +who is also sightless. I know whereof I speak, for I have been piloted +around localities by people who could see and also by people whose +"eyesight was not as good as it once was." This last expression is +borrowed from Sir Arthur, who always speaks of his sightless boys as: +"The boys whose eyesight is not quite as good as it once was."</p> + +<p>About a week after the boys had returned<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> from their vacation, I had a +chance to visit the workshops. What a hive of industry these same +workshops are! Go there, you men and women blessed with sight, and see +for yourselves what your sightless brother is doing in the way of making +himself over again, bringing into play his latent powers, and turning +what seemed to be a worthless creature, a burden to himself and +humanity, into the only asset—a producer—that is worth while to any +country. The obstacles he faces at the beginning seem unsurmountable; +but at St. Dunstan's the spirit of the place grips him and the word +"cannot" disappears from his dictionary. But at first he has much to +unlearn. All his old methods of work have to be forgotten. He is, in a +sense, a child again, born the day his sight was taken from him. But +though his sight is lost, if he is the right sort, the greatest asset a +man possesses can never be taken from him—his spirit, his determination +never to be a burden on others; his feeling, his knowledge that what +others have done he can do. His confidence in his ability to make good, +his spirit of independence—he still has these, and they enable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> him to +win greater victories than any he might have achieved in battle, +victories over that terror of the sighted—blindness.</p> + +<p>Those of us who claim St. Dunstan's as our <i>Alma Mater</i> are often told +that we can talk of nothing but the place and the treatment we received +there. Our answer is: Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth +speaketh. She took us up when we were in the depths and remade us into +<i>men</i>; she taught us to be real producers; she made it possible for us +to take our place in the ranks of the earners—in fact, all that we know +and all that we are we owe to her. There is only one point on which Sir +Arthur and his boys disagree. Sir Arthur claims that it was the boys who +made St. Dunstan's; the boys maintain that St. Dunstan's made the men. +While I was in residence there, there were about five hundred and fifty +men undergoing instruction, and yet St. Dunstan's carried on smoothly +and serenely without the slightest vestige of discipline in the ordinary +sense of the word. Only two per cent. of those who passed through the +institution failed to make good. What other educa<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span>tional establishment +can boast such a record? And yet nothing was compulsory except sobriety.</p> + +<p>I was at St. Dunstan's for sixteen months, and as my case was typical I +cannot do better, in order to give a detailed account of the work there, +than relate my own experiences. When I was ready to begin work, I went +before the Adjutant and arranged what courses I would take up. Times for +classes were fixed, teachers named, and everything done to enable me to +begin my training for the battle of life. I was, as it were, a child +again, about to enter school for the second time, but under vastly +different conditions from my first entrance, about a quarter of a +century before. Braille and typewriting were taken up as a matter of +course. Braille is taught to enable the sightless to read for +themselves, and typewriting in order that it will not be so hard on +their friends, as it is much easier for the blind to learn to typewrite +than it is for the sighted to learn to read Braille. It took me four +months to master Braille, but I passed my typewriting test in less than +three weeks. I was pleased with my achieve<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span>ment in respect to the +latter, as I had determined to take up stenography and typewriting as a +profession. There was an added incentive for the students to take up +typewriting, for Sir Arthur, the most generous of men, presents each of +his boys with a typewriter when he is leaving St. Dunstan's.</p> + +<p>The occupations were varied, and in my early days as a student, my +greatest pleasure was to visit the various rooms where workers were +engaged at different callings. Here some were repairing shoes, and +humming ditties happily as they worked; now the rustling and crackling +told me that I was in the presence of men making baskets and mats; +again, the sound of hammers driving home nails and of planes made me +aware that I was among carpenters. In addition to these trades, men were +at work studying poultry-keeping, and taking courses in massage work. At +first I viewed all this from the attitude of the sighted, and it seemed +to me an unparalleled miracle; but after a time I took it all as a +matter of course.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i044.jpg" width="600" height="458" alt="The Carpenter Shop" title="" /> +<span class="caption">The Carpenter Shop</span> +</div> + +<p>The stenographic and massage courses take the longest time; but at St. +Dunstan's there is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> no time limit set for any course. If proficiency +is not achieved in one month or six months, the student can keep +doggedly at it for a longer period. St. Dunstan's is a home until +proficiency in the chosen calling is achieved. "Grow proficient" was Sir +Arthur's demand of his boys; and with few exceptions they stuck at it +till he was satisfied.</p> + +<p>The time of actual work for each man was about three and a half hours +per day. From this it will be seen that it was not all work at St. +Dunstan's. While the main purpose of the institution is to make +producers of men with a serious handicap, another great aim is to +brighten their lives and create in them that buoyant spirit—the <i>moral</i> +of life—that is half the battle.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<h3>BRAILLE</h3> + + +<p>I have often been asked, "What is Braille? Is it raised letters?" +Braille was originated by a Frenchman named Louis Braille, in 1829, and, +with a few trifling changes, stands to-day as it left the hands of its +inventor. The base of the system consists of six raised dots enclosed in +what is called a cell, thus—</p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 82px;"> +<img src="images/i047.jpg" width="82" height="108" alt="" title="Braille cell" /> +</div> + + +<p>The dots are numbered as follows: left-hand dots, 1, 3, 5; right-hand, +2, 4, 6. For reading purposes the dots are arranged in cells +corresponding to the base cell, each cell being a letter or contraction. +In Grade II Braille, there are in all eighty-two word and letter signs. +The letters of the alphabet<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> +are as follows:</p> + + +<p>Dot 1 <img src="images/i048a.jpg" width="52" height="60" style="margin-bottom: -1.3em;" alt="" title="Braille cell" /> represents the +letter A; + +dots 1 and 3 <img src="images/i048b.jpg" width="52" height="60" style="margin-bottom: -1.3em;" alt="" title="Braille cell" /> the letter B; + +dots 1, 2 <img src="images/i048c.jpg" width="52" height="60" style="margin-bottom: -1.3em;" alt="" title="Braille cell" /> + +the letter C; dots 1, 2, 4 <img src="images/i048d.jpg" width="52" height="60" style="margin-bottom: -1.3em;" alt="" title="Braille cell" /> the letter D, and so on.</p> + + + + +<p><br />The arrangement of the dots in the cell gives not only all the letters of the alphabet, +but signs that stand for words and phrases as well.</p> + +<p>I began the study of Braille with Miss Gilles, a New Zealand lady, as my +instructor, while I was at St. Mark's Hospital. I was first given a +wooden box full of holes. Into these holes my teacher showed me how to +put nails with large heads, the nails being placed in cells to +correspond with the Braille alphabet. After I had succeeded in grasping +the principle of Braille by means of the nails—which, by the way, I +frequently jabbed into my fingers instead of into the holes—I was given +a card with the alphabet on it. At<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> first the dots seemed without form +and void; and when I was asked what numbers I felt, I did wish for my +eyes, as I was utterly unable to convey to my brain the letter under my +fingers. The hardest part of Braille for the beginner is not in getting +it into the head, but in getting the fingers to take the place of eyes. +But it is only necessary to persevere to get the proper, illuminating +"touch" into the finger tips. The men made sightless in the war were in +most cases confronted with grave difficulties. Their hands were hardened +by toil, and their fingers calloused by work in the trenches. One of my +comrades, when given his Braille card, struggled over it for a time, and +then exclaimed: "I wish they'd leave this card out in the rain till the +dots swelled to the size of door-knobs; then I might be able to read +it."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i050.jpg" width="600" height="455" alt="The Braille Room" title="" /> +<span class="caption">The Braille Room</span> +</div> + +<p>Before I left St. Mark's I had mastered the first ten letters of the +alphabet; but I was soon to learn that if one does not keep at it, +"touch" will be lost. After leaving St. Mark's, I spent three idle weeks +at Folkestone. As a result, when I arrived at St. Dunstan's I had to +begin my Braille all over<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> again. My teacher at St. Dunstan's, Miss +Wineberg, proved herself as patient as was Miss Gilles; but patience is +a characteristic virtue of all the women who instructed the sightless +boys in the Braille Room, and among them were some of the best-known +ladies in England, four having titles. These teachers sit for hours +making men "stick it," in many cases against their will, until they have +mastered the mystery of correctly judging the number and arrangement of +dots under the finger tip. The theory of Braille can be grasped in six +weeks by the average student; but it takes from four to six months to so +cultivate touch as to make the fingers readily take the place of eyes. +After the reading of Braille has been mastered, writing it, an even more +difficult operation, is taken up. When I had satisfactorily passed my +test in both reading and writing, I entered that holy of holies, the +Shorthand Room. The four teachers in this room are all blind. Our +teacher was Corporal Charles McIntosh, who had lost both his eyes and +his right leg while with the Gallipoli Expeditionary Force. I have +stated that there are eighty-two signs<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> in Grade II Braille; but Braille +shorthand contains six hundred and eighty word and letter signs that +have to be committed to memory. A herculean task was before me, but by +dogged effort on my part and patience on the part of my instructor, I +succeeded so well that in a few weeks I was able to take shorthand notes +as speedily as the average sighted stenographer. Meanwhile, I had been +diligently at work at my typewriting, and under the kindly instruction +of Miss Dorothy Charles Dickens, a granddaughter of the great novelist, +I had soon acquired sufficient speed and accuracy to qualify for work.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<h3>THE SPIRIT OF ST. DUNSTAN's</h3> + + +<p>To give an adequate account of the work done at St. Dunstan's, and of +the spirit of the place, it is necessary to touch upon the personnel of +the hostel. I have already dwelt at some length on the patient +self-sacrifice of the teachers of Braille: the spirit they display +animates the entire staff. The work of the V.A.D.'s is beyond praise. +Very few of these noble women actually live on the premises; most of +them live in annexes provided for them by the St. Dunstan's management. +What they do, what they endure, can best be comprehended by following +them through a day's work.</p> + +<p>They rise at 6 a.m., and after acting as their own housemaids for their +sleeping apartments, wend their way to the various houses to which they +are assigned. Breakfast hour is at 7 a.m. After this meal, the real work +of the day begins. At the Bungalow, where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> I was staying, the V.A.D.'s +ate at three tables; and after each meal two were told off to clear the +tables. At 8 o'clock the men had their breakfast, two of the women being +given the task of waiting on each table; and as they had to attend to +sixteen men, all healthy specimens of humanity, some of whom had been +out on the lake since early morning, getting up a voracious appetite, +their work was far from light. There was, I might say just here, no +shortage of food at St. Dunstan's, not even while the war was on; and we +had a lingering suspicion that Sir Arthur had a "pull" with the Food +Minister. At any rate, he secured us all we could eat, and of excellent +variety; and there were few in London who could say as much after food +was rationed. Breakfast over, the Sisters, as they are called, went to +the dormitories. Each dormitory held twenty-five beds; and with these +and in other ways, they were kept busy until 11.45. The dinner hour was +twelve o'clock. After dinner some of the men always went for a row on +the lake; and of course, they needed some one to steer the boat. A +Sister was called, and she gladly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> joined the boys. During my entire +stay at the Bungalow, I never heard one grumble or complain at these +calls on her time and energy. At 2 p.m., the morning Sisters went off +duty, and their time was their own until six in the evening, when they +again came on, and devoted themselves to the needs of the men until nine +o'clock. They were allowed one afternoon a week, which afternoon began +at 6 p.m.; and on this day they were on duty until this hour from six in +the morning. In addition, they were granted a week-end every three +months. These women did their bit during the war—and are still doing +it—as truly as did the men at the front. Their work was hard, +nerve-racking, and often of a disagreeable kind; and it must be +remembered that many of them had never so much as dusted off their own +pianos before taking up their duties at St. Dunstan's.</p> + +<p>The matron of the Bungalow was Mrs. Craven, a sympathetic woman of +heroic mould, and with a wide experience in war work. She has two South +African medals, and for twelve months was matron of the hospital at +Bar-le-Duc that Fritzie once<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> termed "that damned little British +hospital," just eight miles behind the lines at Verdun; at a time when +the Germans were exerting their utmost power to break through, and were +making the destruction of hospitals and clearing stations a specialty. +Mrs. Craven was every inch a soldier. The following incident admirably +illustrates her character. One of the men was one day calling for a +Sister just at the time that they were going off duty for the morning, +and waiting to be relieved by the afternoon Sisters. The man had called +three or four times at the top of his voice, "Sister! Sister! Anybody's +Sister!" There was no response. The matron heard him, and rushed to his +assistance. As she passed through the Lounge Room she met a Sister—a +new one, by the way—who had paid no attention to the call. The matron +asked her, somewhat sternly, "Did you not hear that man calling?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, Matron; but I am off duty now."</p> + +<p>"Off duty! If you were up the line and were going off duty, and a convoy +of broken, bleeding men were being brought in, would you think that you +would be justified in not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> going to their aid because you were off +duty?"</p> + +<p>"Under such circumstances I should not think of such a thing."</p> + +<p>"Well, I wish you to remember that there is no time here when you are +off duty. While working in St. Dunstan's all the staff are on duty for +twenty-four hours a day. These men have been deprived of the most +precious thing God had given them while seeing to it that we women might +live here in comparative safety and comfort. I am here to see to their +welfare, and I intend that everyone working with me shall do the same at +all seasons and all hours. Never let me hear you speak of being off duty +again when a cry of distress goes up. The work here is just as important +as if you were up the line. These men, although healed of their open +wounds, need our aid, for the time being at any rate, to help them bear +the burden that has been laid upon them."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Craven was a veritable mother to all who came under her care, and +the boys showed their appreciation of her services when she was "called +up" by the War Office to take charge at one of the largest hospitals in +England.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p> + +<p>The matron of the House, known to all as "Sister Pat," was compelled to +retire from her position on account of a breakdown in health. When she +was leaving, the boys presented her with a trifling gift as a mark of +their esteem, and to keep them green in her memory. But no gift was +needed for that. As she accepted the present, she said: "Boys, Sister +Pat will come back to you. She cannot leave her boys for ever. I will +come back to you if you will have me, if it is only to clean your +boots." Her place in the heart of her boys will never be filled.</p> + +<p>Then there was Captain McMahon, adjutant at the Bungalow. The captain +had lost a leg in the South African War. The operation had not been a +success, and the "Skipper," as we affectionately called him, put in many +painful hours. To my own knowledge, on one occasion, he endured extreme +suffering for thirty-six hours at a stretch. It was clear to all that a +second operation was needed. One day, while in his office, I asked him +why he did not go to a hospital and have another amputation. My remark +was an innocent one, but I was quickly made to regret it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Rawlinson," he replied, "I did not think you would ask me such a +question."</p> + +<p>"Why?" I continued.</p> + +<p>"Why!" he snapped back. "Don't you know that there are still hundreds of +boys coming down the line wounded and broken?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," I answered. "But why should that stop you?"</p> + +<p>Then I got it. "Jim," he said, "there might be one of those boys that +would require the bed that I occupied, and my being there might +necessitate that lad having to go to one of the hospitals perhaps right +in the north of England. No, Jim, I will wait till all of them have been +set on their feet again before I make application for a bed in one of +the London hospitals."</p> + +<p>And so Captain McMahon heroically continued to bear his suffering rather +than keep one of the derelicts from France out of a bed. Next to Sir +Arthur Pearson, he was dearest to the men in the Bungalow. They loved +him, and there was not one of the two hundred and fifty men there who +would not gladly have allowed him to walk over his body if it would be +for his good. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> "Skipper" was a Man, a man's man, a father to all of +us, whom it was good to know. When the boys were worried they took their +troubles to him. He made all their worries his own, and it was +surprising what a big load of care he could carry.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Craven, "Sister Pat," and Captain McMahon were leaders in the life +at St. Dunstan's. But the whole place was animated with the same spirit +that inspired them; the spirit that manifested itself in its fulness in +Sir Arthur Pearson, and in a lesser degree in every student. It made all +the boys workers, and created in them the desire to help others, to make +the world a little better for their being in it, even if they had to +work under a handicap.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<h3>AIR RAIDS</h3> + + +<p>When I left the shores of France I thought I was permanently out of +danger from the death-dealing missiles of the enemy; not that I cared +much then; I had received such a blow that I should not greatly have +regretted a stroke that would have ended my earthly career. But the arm +of Germany was long, the ingenuity of the War Lords great; by means of +their magnificent submarines they had carried the war to the shores of +England, so by their superb air force they were to bring it to the heart +of London; indeed, by their Zeppelins, those crowning failures of their +efficiency, they had already done that.</p> + +<p>I had been in London but a short time when, on Saturday, July 21st, +1917, I had my first experience of an air raid in a crowded city. At the +time I was in St. Mark's Hospital, undergoing my preliminary training +for St. Dunstan's, at the moment in the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> ward receiving instruction in +Braille. Shortly before noon some one entered the room and exclaimed +jubilantly that a vast flock of aeroplanes, estimated at from thirty to +sixty, were manœuvring at a great height in battle formation over the +city, and we were congratulating ourselves that the War Office had at +length aroused itself and was demonstrating its ability to cope with any +attack by heavier-than-air machines that the enemy might send over. As +we listened to the news and longed for our eyes that we might have a +sight of this spectacle, the thunderous report of a bursting bomb +undeceived us. These planes were not marked with the friendly +tricoloured circles, but with the ominous cross. There were cries of +terror, a hurrying of feet, a near panic as bomb succeeded bomb. Many of +us had been disciplined to war conditions, had dodged bombs at the Somme +and Vimy Ridge, dodged them when shrapnel was spraying about us and +machine-gun and rifle bullets made the air hiss on every side; but this +attack in the heart of a great city was not without its terrifying +aspect. After having escaped death on the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> battle-field, it would be +horrible to have to meet it in the tumbling ruins of a crushed building. +But we faced the situation stoically. London and its suburbs had over +7,000,000 people, and, by the theory of chances, we concluded that we +were not likely to be hit.</p> + +<p>This was the first Hun aeroplane success over London, the only one in +which he accomplished anything of value from a military point of view, +one bomb knocking a corner off the General Post Office, St. Martin's in +the Field, and almost disrupting the whole of the telegraph system that +was carrying messages to and from military headquarters. There was, of +course, the usual slaughter of defenceless women and children, deeds +that the Hun hoped would terrorize England, lower the <i>moral</i> of her +people, and keep a large army within the island for home defence. How +little he knew the British race! The deplorable thing in connection with +the raid was that while it was in progress there was not a single +machine in the air combatting the attackers, and not an anti-aircraft +gun in action. The War Office<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> needed to be roused from its slumbers. It +was; and when the next raiders came over they had a warm reception.</p> + +<p>My next experience was in the open. One day I was walking through +London's streets when the approach of a raiding force was announced. +Shelters were by this time provided for the citizens, and to one of +these underground bomb-proof spots, a tube, I made my way. At this time, +London was largely a city of women and foreigners—at least so it seemed +to me. I had evidently hit upon a shelter of a most cosmopolitan +character. The place was packed with a frightened mob, trembling and +groaning with terror, and expressing their fears in many tongues utterly +unknown to me. The air was stifling with that distinctive odour that +seems to emanate from the great unwashed; in this case garlic seemed to +be the prevailing perfume. It was a mixed crowd, however, and women in +silks rubbed shoulders with women in tattered gowns, all moved by the +one thought—self-preservation. Most of them, I judged by their cries +and gasps, were almost insane with terror. But there were heroines<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> +among them. Two women near me were holding an animated conversation.</p> + +<p>"Say," said one, "ain't it time that this war wuz over? Why don't they +stop? I haven't been in bed to stay for over six nights, and I'm getting +tired of it all."</p> + +<p>The answer told the real spirit of the average British woman, a spirit +that was doing much to win the war.</p> + +<p>"Liza," replied the first speaker's companion, in a somewhat indignant +voice, "Bill's over there, ain't 'e? 'E's tryin' to stop that —— +blighter from treatin' us like 'e did the women of Belgium and France. +'E's gettin' this every day, and still smiles and sticks it. Yer can't +git me to say stop it. Carry on is my motter till the —— Hun is +slugged out of existence."</p> + +<p>This rough, humble Cockney woman displayed the same spirit that was +being shown by the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps in France. The girls of +this corps took it upon themselves to do the work that was being done by +men who thought themselves permanently installed in bomb-proof jobs. +What is more, they did it well. Take this one instance.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> During the +German drive of 1918, some of these girls were working in canteens a +short distance behind the front line. As the Germans swept forward with +irresistible might, and had almost reached the camps and billets where +the W.A.A.C.'s were, the girls were ordered to leave the danger zone in +motor lorries. They refused, saying: "Those waggons can be used to carry +wounded men back; we can walk." And walk they did; slinging their packs +on their backs and marching nineteen miles over rough, muddy roads. But +not all of them; some of the boldest stayed behind to see that the boys +got hot tea or coffee to revive their tired, in most cases, wounded and +broken bodies. Their courage brought them under shell-fire; but they +carried on dauntlessly. During my last days in London, when I was +singing at one of their hostels, I met four of these women, each of whom +had lost a leg, and one was proudly wearing a Military Medal.</p> + +<p>The woman of the tube and the refined W.A.A.C.'s were "sisters under the +skin." Had the former had her way, she would have been at Bill's side, +handing him cartridges while he potted the enemy.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p> + +<p>While I was at the Bungalow, we had a somewhat thrilling experience from +air raids. In September, 1917, the raiders were exceptionally bold, and +during the first ten days of the month visited London no fewer than +eight times. Night after night we were roused by the whistling of sirens +and the bursting of maroons, thin shells that made a big noise, warning +all that an air raid was in progress, and giving pedestrians and others +a chance to take shelter from enemy bombs and the shrapnel of the +anti-aircraft guns, the latter even a greater menace to those in the +open than the former. On one of these nights I, with two Canadian chums, +sightless like myself, had just entered the Bungalow when the maroons +began to explode and the whistles to shriek. Bed was out of the +question. Besides, the matron, Mrs. Craven, would be up on the instant +to look after her boys. True to form, the matron appeared, and we drew +up one of the Davenports in front of a cheerful grate fire.</p> + +<p>"Are all you boys feeling right?" asked the matron.</p> + +<p>Before we had time to answer, the anti<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>-aircraft guns opened up their +barrage. They seemed to be shooting right over the Bungalow, for pieces +of shrapnel clattered on the roof like great hailstones. One piece, +about a pound in weight, smashed through the roof and into the matron's +room. As we sat there, overhead we could hear the angry droning of the +Hun planes and the whistling rush of the dropping bombs, each moment +expecting one to crash among us. A bomb that dropped near by, in St. +John's Wood, sounded as it if were going to pay us a visit, and I +nervously remarked: "This one is ours, Matron!"</p> + +<p>"Well, Rawlinson," she replied, without a quiver in her voice, "we are +still soldiers, you know, and if it comes, what better could we ask than +a soldier's death."</p> + +<p>That night four bombs dropped in the grounds within a radius of four +hundred yards, but fortunately none of them did any material damage.</p> + +<p>On another night we were being entertained at one of the delightful +concerts arranged for us by the staff. The concert was at its height +when the guns opened up. Our entertainers suggested stopping the +per<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>formance, but we objected to having such a trifling matter as an air +raid interfere with our fun, and the concert went merrily on, and before +it was over the Huns were beating it for home, chased by daring British +aviators.</p> + +<p>On several occasions the raiders hove in sight after the inmates of the +Bungalow were all in bed. But Sir Arthur had seen to it that we should +be warned in time, so that in case we received a direct hit we should +not be caught like rats in a trap. News of the approaching raiders was +sent in by the telephone simultaneously with its receipt by the police +authorities, and one of the orderlies on watch visited the rooms and +roused the men, instructing any who so wished to take refuge in the +shrapnel-proof cellars over at the House. Needless to say, none of the +boys rushed for shelter—not from our ward, at any rate. We either got +up and dressed to enjoy the thrill of listening to the droning planes, +bursting bombs, and clattering shrapnel, or lay in bed, quietly taking +the whole matter with philosophical indifference. The danger signal came +as soon as the raiders crossed the East Coast, and then all was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> hubbub +and excitement in London until the "all clear" was sounded by that +gallant little—little in body, but big in heart—band of boys known as +the Boy Scouts, who were posted at every police station.</p> + +<p>No doubt many of us felt a bit "windy" during these raids, but in the +presence of the other fellow we would not show it. Our buildings and +grounds, right in the heart of London, were most conspicuous; and, +besides, Regent's Park was not without its military importance, for in +it were kept the aerodrome stores. Its lake and the canal which runs +between it and the Zoo, made it a shining mark for the Hun bombers. But +we stood our ground fearlessly through all these raids, listening to the +din of this aerial warfare, awed not so much by the explosions as by the +bedlam created in the Zoo, where, as soon as a raid was on, the lions +roared, elephants madly trumpeted, monkeys chattered, parrots shrieked, +and wolves howled dismally.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<h3>ROYAL VISITORS</h3> + + +<p>St. Dunstan's was frequently visited by British aristocracy, but, by all +odds, the most interesting visitors were members of the Royal Family. +His Majesty, King George, dropped in on more than one occasion, just +like an ordinary citizen, without the usual frills and pageantry that +accompany Royalty. In his visit to St. Dunstan's he went through the +place without even an equerry in attendance. He showed a deep and +sincere interest in the training and work of the men. He seemed to be a +little sceptical about our ability as poultry-raisers. On one occasion, +when visiting the poultry-house while a class was being instructed, he +signified that he would like a practical test of the power of the blind +to distinguish different breeds of fowls. The attendant caught a bird +and handed it to one of the students, an Imperial officer, by the way, +and scarcely had he touched it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> before he correctly pronounced it a +Plymouth Rock. The King was still sceptical, and a second and third bird +were handed the demonstrator, and the birds were properly named. This +convinced His Majesty that, though blind, the men could "carry on" in +what seemed to him an incredibly difficult occupation for the sightless.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i074.jpg" width="600" height="443" alt="Mat Weaving" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Mat Weaving</span> +</div> + +<p>Her Majesty, Queen Mary, took an equally active interest in our hostel. +I met her under peculiar circumstances at the Bungalow. I had just +entered the Lounge from the Shorthand Room, when I heard the "Skipper" +calling me. I went up to him through an opening between a line of +chairs. When I reached Captain McMahon, he said: "Her Majesty, Queen +Mary, wishes to meet you, Rawlinson." And to the Queen he remarked: +"This is Rawlinson, who is learning to be a stenographer." Her Majesty +showed genuine interest in me, as she did in all the boys, and asked me +many questions about my wound, the circumstances under which I received +it, and what part of the line I was operating in when I was struck. She +then questioned me about the progress I was mak<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>ing with my work, and +about my life in the Bungalow. She finally complimented me on my ability +in finding my way about despite my handicap. It is not every day that a +private has the privilege of chatting familiarly with a queen, and in my +vanity I answered: "I know my surroundings at St. Dunstan's as well as I +do the palm of my hand." After a moment's silence, I asked Captain Mac +if that was all he wanted of me. He said that would do, and I turned to +depart. But while talking to the Queen I must have turned slightly +without knowing it, and I had lost my bearings. I stepped out boldly, +and tumbled clean over one of the chairs, and that after boasting to Her +Majesty that I knew the place "as well as I do the palm of my hand." It +was truly literally a case of pride going before a fall.</p> + +<p>About half an hour later, I was going down the garden walk leading to +the Outer Circle, when I heard women's voices farther down the path. I +honk-honked—the usual signal of the boys when wishing the right of way. +Among the party in front of me was the Matron of the House, who said to +me: "Come on, Rawlinson, the way is all clear."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Is that you, Matron," I replied; then, in a simulated injured tone, I +remarked that I had been talking to Queen Mary that afternoon, and: +"Would you believe it, Matron, she had not the good manners to shake +hands with a guy."</p> + +<p>The Matron answered me in a somewhat flurried tone: "Her Majesty is +here, Rawlinson."</p> + +<p>Needless to say, I was somewhat abashed. Canada had gone far beyond his +objective, as usual, but Canada was unfamiliar with retreat, and I +determined to stand by my guns.</p> + +<p>"Well," said I, "will she shake hands now?"</p> + +<p>"I surely will," replied the Queen. She did it with a firm pressure that +showed genuine feeling. She then asked me if I were out for a walk. +"No," I replied, "I'm going to meet another queen. Two queens in one +afternoon is not bad going for an old Canuck, is it?" "It certainly is +not," she replied. "And I do hope," she added with a merry laugh, "that +the other queen will not forget to shake hands when she meets you."</p> + +<p>As I went away I heard her remark that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> that is "a very cheerful boy; +his blindness does not seem to trouble him much." She was right. It did +not by this time. I had so far progressed with my work that the future +was assured; work and happiness I could still find in this old world.</p> + +<p>While at St. Dunstan's I had still another meeting with Royalty. One day +I was walking up the Lounge, along the strip sacred to the sightless, +when bump I went against someone who was stooping over while questioning +another student. I had collided with a woman, who immediately turned and +apologized most profusely for being in my way. She was most sorry that +she "did not see me coming." I was in an irritated mood; the sightless +always are under such circumstances. A collision of this sort always +reminds them of their handicap, a thing they delight to ignore. +Impatiently, I replied: "That's all right, ma'am. But if you people with +eyes, when you visit us, would only remember that there are some men +here that cannot see just as well as they once did, it would make it +easier for us." Again she apologized, and took my hand, giving it such<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> +a hearty, sympathetic pressure that I felt somewhat ashamed of myself +for my hasty words. As I renewed my walk up the Lounge, one of the +V.A.D.'s overtook me, and asked what had happened. I told her, and she +almost took my breath away by telling me that I had been "saucing" Her +Most Gracious Majesty, Queen Alexandra. I quite expected to be "on the +carpet" before the chief for my words, for Sir Arthur was standing by, +and must have heard them. But Sir Arthur had a way of avoiding causing +his boys the slightest pain, and he no doubt knew that when I realized +to whom I had spoken so hastily, my chagrin would be sufficient +punishment. I hope the good Queen has forgiven my lack of courtesy, and +forgotten the incident—a thing I am not likely to do.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<h3>IN PLAYTIME</h3> + + +<p>It was not all work at St. Dunstan's. Sports were encouraged and +fostered in every way; but rowing and tug-of-war were by far the most +popular. Fully sixty per cent. of the men went in for rowing, and some +very skilful and powerful oarsmen were turned out. There were two +regattas each year. The preliminary heats of each regatta were pulled +off on the lake that runs into the grounds of the House, and the finals +took place on the River Thames. Single sculls, pair-oars, and fours were +our strong points. The Bungalow turned out two men who had no superiors +on the river either sighted or sightless. Sergeant Barry, at one time +the world's champion sculler, coached the team during the seasons of +1917 and 1918. So successful were the Canadians that there are now a +number of St. Dunstan's rowing prizes in Canada.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p> + +<p>The tug-of-war team, of which I was a member, was quite as successful as +the oarsmen. Indeed, we lost only one point during the whole season. We +treated all comers alike: they were there to be pulled over; and we saw +to it that they came. The following was our war song; we sang it going +to the grounds, and we sang it coming away.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The Canucks are on the rope, on the rope, on the rope;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Their breasts are full of hope, full of hope, full of hope;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">They tell the teams they pull against</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">That they're out to win the cup.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Canadians do your bit, do your bit, show your grit;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Lay back on that rope, legs well braced; never sit.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Make your snow-clad country proud</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Of her boys who are on the line.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Chorus—</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Take the strain, take the strain;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">First a heave, then a pull, then again.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The boys are pulling, the boys are pulling;</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Yes, they're pulling with might and main.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Take the strain, take the strain;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">First a heave, then a pull, then again.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">They'll come over; they'll come over;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">For the timber wolves are winning once again.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Not a very elaborate piece of poetry, and sadly deficient in metre and +rhyme; but it certainly did mean much to us when we heard our supporters +singing it. We sang it to the tune of "Over there." Out of justice to my +comrades, I must plead guilty of composing it.</p> + +<p>The average weight of the team was only 145lbs., but what the men lacked +in weight was made up in grit. The team was chosen from fifteen +Canadians, all who were at the Bungalow at the time; and seven of the +nine men who comprised the team were "black" blind. Yet this team beat +the pick of five hundred others. I have heard some of the men of the +other teams asking: "Why do they always pull us over? We are heavier, +man for man we are stronger, and we have more sight than they have."</p> + +<p>One of the opponents discovered the secret, and thus expressed himself: +"I know what it is; it's the—what they themselves call 'pep';<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> it's the +vim they put into the game; it's the enthusiasm they have for all sorts +of sport. I was billeted close to some of them on the Somme; they were +always the same whether in or out of the line."</p> + +<p>He hit the nail on the head. The Canadians had the vim, the dogged +determination; they would not submit to defeat, even in sport.</p> + +<p>My mention of lack of sight among the men might seem superfluous to +those who have not pulled on a tug-of-war team. The advantage of sight +lies in the fact that a man to use his strength to the best advantage +must make a straight pull. If any member of the team is pulling at an +angle, those behind him are wasting their own pull while minimizing his. +For success, all must pull together, and the rope must be kept straight +and taut.</p> + +<p>Theatricals did much to add pleasure to our lives. We not only enjoyed +those of outside performers, but we put on several plays, and the boys +took their parts well, and a prompter was very little in evidence. The +sighted are at a loss to understand how a drama, comedy, or sketch can +be enjoyed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> by the sightless. But the spoken word acts on the inward +eye, and the entire stage is revealed as vividly to the brain as if it +were carried there by sight. One of the annoying things to a sightless +person is to have some sighted friend sit by him at a play, describing +costumes and scenery. The blind have no need of such aids.</p> + +<p>Chief among our sources of amusement was the Rag-time Band, which did +much to enliven our idle hours. Any who have been lucky enough to hear +this band have had a rare treat. It was composed entirely of men who had +been "over," and had lost their sight. But this loss of sight had not +lessened their love of music or their power of musical expression, as +many of the boys who were in hospital in London can testify. High-class +singers, theatrical parties, in fact, all the leading theatrical +performers and many minor ones, paid their tribute to the boys by +entertaining them with song and sketch; but no performance had quite the +same popularity as the rag-time discoursed by the "blind boys." And the +remarkable thing about the band is that it is doubtful if any member +had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> ever, before going to St. Dunstan's, played a more elaborate +instrument than a Jew's-harp or a mouth organ. The side-drummer, who +played the side-drum, bass drum, cymbals, Chinese block, motor-horn, +triangle, and clappers was a boy who had lost both eyes.</p> + +<p>I have vivid recollections of the celebration at St. Dunstan's on +Armistice Day, November 11th, 1918; on that day the band excelled +itself, and played as if it meant that its music should be heard in +Germany. This occasion is one that will live long in the memory of those +of us who were at St. Dunstan's when the "scrap of paper" virtually +ending the war was signed. Our Rag-time Band then really came into its +own. Ask London. She will tell you that there was never a more popular +band in the city. The students of St. Dunstan's paraded through the +streets of the great metropolis in full regalia. As an initial step to +our parade, we managed somehow or other to secure a disused old +fire-engine, and on this the band piled. Sir Arthur's battalion lined up +in fours and followed. Through the busiest streets of the city we +marched with, at first,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> about two hundred and fifty men in the +parade. But before we had finished we extended over more than a quarter +of a mile. A procession of munitioners happened to meet us, and when +they found out who we were they immediately tacked themselves onto our +little line. We marched to Buckingham Palace, and here we were halted by +our leader—a Canadian, by the way. It seems that word had been passed +to their Majesties that the St. Dunstan's men were outside. At any rate, +they both came out, and I doubt if his Majesty ever had such a salute as +was given him on that day. Sergeant-Major George Eades, a Canadian +pioneer, drooped the colours with a flag that could not have measured +more than a foot square; but his Majesty took the salute and answered +it.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i086.jpg" width="600" height="447" alt="Sightless Canadian Four" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Sightless Canadian Four</span> +</div> + +<p>Besides the amusements already mentioned, dances were held frequently +and thoroughly enjoyed. Then, as I have said, there was rowing, and +Regent's Park Lake was constantly visited by blind lads and their +friends to enjoy this sport. We had even a four-oared Canadian crew—all +blind, and as they skimmed over the lake, rowing in perfect time, an +observer would have difficulty in detecting that they were sightless.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<h3>MEMORIES OF THE FIGHTING FRONT</h3> + + +<p>During my early days at St. Dunstan's, I was inclined to brood a bit, +and the past was constantly before my mind's eye; but gradually under +occupation the past became shadowy, and the future was for me the only +reality. Even the scenes through which I had passed in the months I was +at the front took on the semblance of a dream—sometimes a nightmare; +but it seemed to me that it was not I—the St. Dunstan's student—who +had endured cold and wet and forced marches, who had felt the shock of +high-explosive shells, the stinging threat of machine-gun and rifle +bullets, who had taken part in wild charges over the top, but some other +being. However, in the stillness of the night, one incident I had +experienced, one scene I had witnessed, kept constantly recurring to my +mind with a vividness that kept the World War and my humble part in it a +stern reality<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> for me. The affair in question occurred on April 19th, +1917.</p> + +<p>Ten days before, on Easter Monday—a red-letter day for the Canadians, +but a day black as night for the Germans—the troops from the Dominion +had in one swift forward movement swept the enemy from positions which +he had thought impregnable along Vimy Ridge. For days after that, we +wallowed around in the mud, gaining a village here, a trench there, and +driving him from hills and wood fastnesses. All the time we were +expecting that he would come back in force to make a mighty effort to +regain the territory he had held for over two years against the British +and the French. He had apparently proved his right to it, and since +September 15th, 1916, had been resting at his ease in his underground +dug-outs and capacious caverns.</p> + +<p>On the night of the 19th, the battalion to which I belonged had just +ended a tour of duty in the front line. We were to be relieved by +another battalion of the 3rd Division of the Canadian Corps. There was +but one road out, a road which at that time was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> considered a +masterpiece of road-building. Three days had been allotted for its +construction. The Imperial engineers contended that the task was an +impossible one, but G.H.Q. said it would have to be done, and the +Canadian engineers were assigned the work. To their credit, it was +completed in the stipulated time.</p> + +<p>To retire from the side of the ridge facing the German position, it was +necessary to take this road, and, as the crest of it was under almost +continuous shell-fire, for safety we were sent over in sections of ten +men at a time. This territory had all been in Fritzie's hands, and he +knew every inch of it. The road was a vital spot, and more shells were +dropped on it than upon any other place of the same area on the Western +front. On the top, about two hundred yards away, lay the ruined village +of Thelus; once in it we should be comparatively safe.</p> + +<p>I was in the last section of my platoon, and at the top I paused to look +about me at the scene that presented itself. It was horrible; it was +glorious; it was magnificent—it was War. The centre of the road was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> +fairly clear, but at the edges all was chaos. The night was a wonderful +one; the moon was shining in all her glory, and pale stars twinkled in +the sky. In the bright moonlight I could see all about me dead and +wounded men, wounded men who would surely "go West," for, once down, the +chance of escape from that hell-hole was slight. Here and there were +great W.D. waggons, G.S. waggons, ammunition mules bearing 6-inch +howitzer and the smaller 18-pounder equipment—in fact, everything that +was in any way connected with the grim business that was being carried +on. Here and there, too, through this chaos of war, ration parties +wended their way to and from the front line trenches.</p> + +<p>Just as we reached the crest of the ridge, that spur of France that had +taken such heavy toll from Hun and Ally, we heard a warning shout: "Keep +to the edge of the road!" We wondered at the caution. The middle of the +road was comparatively clean, while towards the edges it was ankle-deep +in sticky mud, and we had been floundering around in a quagmire for the +last eleven days.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> But we soon knew the reason; for while we hesitated +up came a battery of guns at full gallop—big howitzers at that. Drivers +shouted; horses plunged and tugged at their traces; the guns bounded and +rattled in and out of the shell-holes that pitted the road, sometimes +seeming to be balanced on only one wheel. It was a thrilling sight, such +as comes to the eyes of a man only once in a lifetime. It gripped us +all. Poor Sergeant Harry Best, our platoon sergeant, who was near me, +relieved the tension by exclaiming: "Get that, Jim! You will never see +such a sight again, even if you stayed out here for fifty years. If a +painter were to put that sight on canvas he would be laughed at as a +dreamer."</p> + +<p>I said, poor Sergeant Best! He had seen the sight of his lifetime, but +he was not long to enjoy it, for the next trip in, when he was all ready +to go to London to take his commission, he was "sent West" by a bomb +from a trench mortar. Harry was a little strict, but he was dead fair, +and, best of all, a thorough soldier. How is it that nearly all the good +ones get, or seem to get, the worst of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span> the deal; they certainly play +for the most part in hard luck. But then they take risks that the +"safety-first" soldier never takes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + +<h3>THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE SIGHTLESS</h3> + + +<p>When I began to write this personal narrative I had two main thoughts in +mind. My first was that no work written on the World War would be +complete without some account of the transference of the soldier back +from khaki to mufti; my second, and to my mind the more important, was +to show the man himself, suffering from a serious handicap, that one of +the greatest truths in this life of ours is: there is nothing that a man +cannot do, if he <i>has</i> to. This needs explanation. There are few men who +have come out of this war just as they went into it. Apart from injuries +they have sustained, there is unavoidably a new outlook upon life, +gained by their sojourn in the trenches. No matter who the man is, no +matter how settled were his views on the management of this old world, +his stay "over there" has changed his point of view. His whole mental +attitude has undergone<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> something of the nature of a revolution in the +crucible of war. Up the "line," he saw things stripped to the buff, saw +life and death in all their nakedness. The veneer of so-called +civilization has been worn off, and the <i>real man</i> shows through. That, +to my mind, is why friendships made amid the blood, mud, hunger, and +grime of the trenches are friendships that will endure through life. It +is there <i>Man</i> meets <i>Man</i>, and admires him. I have met men in the +trenches to whom, had I met them in ordinary life, I would not have +given a second thought. When they first came to the front they were +known as "sissies," but not for long. They, for the most part, quickly +acquired that character and bearing that is the rule of the trenches. +There were exceptions, of course, but not many. As I write there comes +to my mind a little incident that happened in a dug-out in a trench +known to the 9th Brigade as Mill Street. Those who were there at the +time will remember it from the fact that the body of a French soldier +was lying half buried under the parapet at one of the entrances. Poor +Frenchy's whole right side was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> showing from the foot to the waist line. +The day of which I write had been rather warm. A working party had been +out repairing a firing step and revetting the trench. A "sissy" came +down the steps of the dug-out, mopping his forehead with a +handkerchief;—fancy any one carrying a handkerchief in the front line; +one had essentials enough to carry without being burdened with such a +feminine article;—another of the boys was sitting writing a letter with +his ground-sheet under him in the mud. The sissified one blurted out: +"Holy gee! but I'm perspiring profusely." The kid writing the letter +looked up and sarcastically answered, "Wouldn't sweatin' like 'ell be +more to the point." Later in my military career I had a chat with the +commander of the company to which the "sissy" belonged, and he +incidentally remarked that the lad had turned out to be one of the most +reliable and plucky fellows in the battalion. I have often wondered +since if that little remark "sweatin' like hell" had not helped him to +buck up and fit into his general surroundings.</p> + +<p>Since I have been sightless, two things have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span> deeply impressed +themselves on my mind. The first is that no person with sight can, or +ever will be able to, see from a blind man's point of view; the second, +that no one who can see can ever understand or gauge a blind man's +capabilities or limitations. When I speak of a blind man in this sketch, +I, of course, refer to those who have suddenly been deprived of sight. +Of the man who was born blind or who became sightless early in life I do +not profess to know anything. But the viewpoint of the blind is, in the +majority of cases, different from that of the sighted—I mean in the +matter of earning one's living and making oneself independent of +charity. The man who has been blinded in battle has seen life—and death +for that matter—stripped of all its frills and flounces. His mind and +viewpoint have been enlarged and broadened by his life in the Army. But +he sees life from an angle that is denied the sighted. To be made into a +wage-earner he must be handled rightly. He must not be "mollycoddled"; +to do so would be to leave him a burden to himself and to his friends. +He must not be made to feel that he is an object<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span> to be set in a corner +where he can hurt neither himself nor others. It does not do to treat +blind men in the lump; they must be handled individually. Each and every +case stands by itself. Tact, and a lot of it, patience, and perseverance +are the essentials for re-making a man who has lost his sight, into what +he desires to be—a being capable of earning a living and producing +results in the industrial world. For the attainment of this end, two +things are necessary—confidence and independence. Once he has learned +these, he has won half his battle—a hard battle, how hard he alone +realizes. For my own part, my first two months of blindness, at least, +were Hell with a capital H. Let me illustrate what I mean by confidence +and independence.</p> + +<p>Whilst at St. Dunstan's, I was, for some reason or other, given the job +on quite a few occasions of meeting men who were feeling rather harder +than was thought necessary the darkness that enveloped them. If a man +came in feeling that there was nothing in life for him now that he was +blind, I was given the task of cheering him up and showing him, if I +could—and I have the satisfaction of know<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span>ing that I did not often +fail—that this old world was not such a bad place, even if one's lights +were put out. One case stands out with prominence, and when I look back +at the results of my work after twelve months have passed, it is not +without a measure of pride.</p> + +<p>One Saturday afternoon, a young Canadian came to the Bungalow. He was +talked to by both the Adjutant and the Matron, who did all in their +power to "buck" him up. They failed hopelessly, as the "kid" felt too +far gone; he just would not try to look at the bright side of life. Then +some one suggested that he be brought over to "Rawly." When we met, I +began our conversation with: "Well, kid, how are things?" He snapped +back: "For God's sake, another preacher!" It was somewhat of a +staggerer, but I had been through it all myself, and understood the +boy's feelings perfectly. In the darkness that sealed his eyes he was +forced to grope his way about stumblingly, usually with the help of a +guide. He had not yet gained confidence in his own powers. I straightway +determined to inspire him with that confidence.</p> + +<p>In the first days of my sojourn at St.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> Dunstan's, I, for a time, felt +that never again should I be able to step out into the world except with +halting step and a horror of what might happen. The management of the +institution had constructed an elaborate system of gravel paths, along +which were wooden palings which would prevent the students losing their +way. A knob in these palings told of a turning; a plank served to warn +that we were approaching steps or a steep incline. In the work-rooms and +through out the entire buildings, strips of carpet served as a guide to +the feet. But it took time to gain confidence even with these aids; and +then they were confined to the buildings and grounds. Confidence would +only come when one was able to navigate his way alone through busy +thoroughfares. Shortly after entering St. Dunstan's I determined to +venture out alone. A guide accompanied me on my outward journey, but I +dismissed him and determined to find my way back without help. I +cautiously kept to the outside of the walk, using my stick as a guide, +but I had not calculated on obstructing posts; bump I went into one, but +nothing daunted, I kept<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> on. I was about to test the hardness of another +with my head when a sympathetic soul seized me by the arm and saved me +just in time. I asked him to direct me to the wall bordering the walk. +He did so; but I had not taken into consideration the fact that there +were stores with goods out for display in front of them. I was first +made aware of this by hitting a somewhat flimsily-constructed fruit +stand. At this moment a motorcycle a few feet away back-fired viciously. +It sounded like the explosion of a shell. Vimy and its horrors came back +on the instant, and I involuntarily ducked for safety, or, rather, +sprawled forward at full length. Down came the fruit stand, and there I +lay among apples, oranges, and bananas. Kindly hands helped me to my +feet, and set me on my way. My first experience of solitary walking out +had been a rough one, and for a time I felt beaten, and had very much +the attitude of this boy towards the future. But my experiences would +help him. I had conquered in time, and could journey about freely +without even the aid of a stick. I would not let him know that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span> I was +"black" blind, but I would take him out with me and show him what the +blind could do unaided if they would only bring into play their latent +powers.</p> + +<p>We chatted for a time about the war, and the prospect of his return to +Canada and his friends. He gradually thawed out, and took me in a +measure into his confidence. But he was still in the depths, and +continually referred to his deplorable lot. There was, he said, nothing +in this world for him now, and he added pathetically: "I'm only twenty +years old; I have seen practically nothing, and as both my eyes are out, +I never shall be able to enjoy life and nature. I wish I had got the +full issue instead of half of it; I should have been a lot better off."</p> + +<p>Now, there is an unfailing means to get on the good side of any one who +has spent any time in "Blighty," and that is to suggest tea. So I asked +him if he would not like a cup and some cake: I knew, I said, a nice +tea-room where we could get a good cup.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he replied, "I should enjoy something to drink; but who will take +me to your tea-room?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Come with me," I said; "I will be your pilot."</p> + +<p>So away we toddled out of the Bungalow and down the rails which run +round the Outer Circle, right through Clarence Gate, down Upper Baker +Street, past the Tube, and across the road to Gentle's. Well, we had the +tea; and companionship and the refreshments seemed to cheer up the lad. +At any rate, he began to talk about things they told him he could learn +at St. Dunstan's; and I seized the opportunity to say: "Well, things are +not quite as bad as they seemed at first, eh? You see we got down here +all right." This was in answer to his saying that one would always be +compelled to depend on a guide in his ramblings.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he replied, "we got here all right, but you can see some. It's +easy for you guys to talk about getting around by yourselves when you +can see, be it never so dimly; but remember that I have both my eyes +out."</p> + +<p>This was what I had been working for and waiting for all afternoon. I +wanted him to think that I could see; my turn would come sooner or +later, and my answer to him would make him buck up if anything could.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Eh, old boy," I said, with a degree of exultation; "I am as 'black' +blind as you are. I have one eye, it is true, but it is na-poo, finis, +just as much as your's are."</p> + +<p>"Do you really mean that, Jim?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"I certainly do; and you just fell into the bear-pit I had ready for +you."</p> + +<p>"Well, let me tell you," he said, with stern determination, "if you have +done this, here's another boy who can do likewise."</p> + +<p>That boy returned to Canada with a full knowledge of poultry-breeding +and egg-producing, basket-making, rough carpentry, and all kinds of +string work, such as hammock and net weaving. He became one of the +brightest and happiest students in St. Dunstan's, and, incidentally, I +might mention that that same lad, who felt himself down and out for all +time, developed into one of the best dancers that ever put foot in +slipper.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i106.jpg" width="600" height="449" alt="Basket Making" title="" /> +<span class="caption">Basket Making</span> +</div> + +<p>Another lad—an Australian, this time—wanted to go over the House. I +acted as his pilot, and on our way back to the Bungalow he asked me how +much I could see. I told him, "nothing." He answered: "Say, Digger, I've +been taking some chances, haven't I? But<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> this I will tell you, the +next time I want to come over here I am going to find the way myself."</p> + +<p>All that those boys needed was to realize that others who were +handicapped as they were could work and move about on their own +initiative, and they would be quick to follow their example. Confidence +is infectious; it passes from one individual to another. Above all, it +is the absolute foundation for success in a man who cannot see—or, for +that part of it, in any man.</p> + +<p>I have said sufficient to show that the man from whom the external world +is suddenly shut out is still able to "carry on." For my own part, I +have returned to Canada, and am busy in useful employment, working among +comrades similarly situated with myself. Three years ago, had any one +told me that a blind man could qualify as a stenographer I should have +ridiculed the idea. But I am now able to take dictation in Braille +shorthand at the rate of one hundred and twenty words per minute and +then transcribe my notes on any typewriting machine on the market just +as speedily as the ordinary sighted typist. And I never operated a +typewriting<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> machine before I became a student at St. Dunstan's.</p> + +<p>As I said, I am back in Canada, and not getting my living through +charity. What I am I owe to St. Dunstan's, and while labouring here my +heart ever goes back to dear old England. I feel towards St. +Dunstan's—and so do all the boys who have passed through her halls—as +does the grown man for the place of his birth. She is home for me. I was +born again and nurtured into a new manhood by her, led by her from +stygian darkness to mental and spiritual light, and my heart turns with +longing towards her. At times, separation from the genial atmosphere of +this paradise of the sightless, from contact with the dominating, kindly +presence of Sir Arthur Pearson and his noble assistants, weighs heavily +upon my spirits. But there is work to be done here in Canada, and, in a +humble way, I am able to continue the good work done at St. Dunstan's; +if not in a militant way, at least by example, taking my place among the +producers, toiling daily with hands and brain.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span><br /><br /></p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Through St. Dunstan's to Light, by +James H. Rawlinson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THROUGH ST. DUNSTAN'S TO LIGHT *** + +***** This file should be named 27193-h.htm or 27193-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/1/9/27193/ + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian +Libraries) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9eb998d --- /dev/null +++ b/27193-page-images/p0086.png diff --git a/27193.txt b/27193.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1557d74 --- /dev/null +++ b/27193.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2061 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Through St. Dunstan's to Light, by James H. Rawlinson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Through St. Dunstan's to Light + +Author: James H. Rawlinson + +Release Date: November 7, 2008 [EBook #27193] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THROUGH ST. DUNSTAN'S TO LIGHT *** + + + + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian +Libraries) + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Private James H. Rawlinson] + +Through St. Dunstan's to Light + +BY + +PRIVATE JAMES H. RAWLINSON + +58TH BATTALION, C.E.F. + +TORONTO + +THOMAS ALLEN + +1919 + +COPYRIGHT, CANADA, 1919 BY THOMAS ALLEN + + + + +CONTENTS + + CHAPTER I + + PAGE + + My Ticket for Blighty 1 + + CHAPTER II + + In Blighty 14 + + CHAPTER III + + At St. Dunstan's 23 + + CHAPTER IV + + Braille 32 + + CHAPTER V + + The Spirit of St. Dunstan's 37 + + CHAPTER VI + + Air Raids 45 + + CHAPTER VII + + Royal Visitors 55 + + CHAPTER VIII + + In Playtime 61 + + CHAPTER IX + + Memories of the Fighting Front 68 + + CHAPTER X + + The Point of View of the Sightless 74 + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + Private James H. Rawlinson _Frontispiece_ + + The Boot-Repairing Workshop _Facing Page_ 12 + + Sir Arthur Pearson " " 16 + + St. Dunstan's: The House " " 24 + + The Carpenter Shop " " 30 + + The Braille Room " " 34 + + Mat Weaving " " 56 + + Sightless Canadian Four " " 66 + + Basket Weaving " " 84 + + + + +THROUGH ST. DUNSTAN'S TO LIGHT + + + + +CHAPTER I + +MY TICKET FOR BLIGHTY + + +In the World War, it was not only the men who went "over the top" to +assault enemy positions who ran great risks. Scouts, snipers, patrols, +working parties, all took their lives in their hands every time they +ventured into No Man's Land, and even those who were engaged in +essential work behind the lines were far from being safe from death or +wounds. On the morning of June 7th, 1917, before dawn had broken, I was +out with a working party. Suddenly, overhead, sounded the ominous +drumming and droning of an aeroplane. It proved to be a Hun plane; the +aviator had spotted us, and was speedily in touch with the battery for +which he was working. Fortunately for us, he had mistaken our exact +position, and evidently thought we were on a road which ran towards the +front line about thirty yards to our left. The enemy guns, in answer to +his signals, opened up with a terrific fire, and the scenery round about +was soon in a fine mess. Shells of varying calibre came thundering in +our direction, throwing up, as they burst, miniature volcanoes and +filling the air with dust and mud and smoke. This shell-fire continued +for about three-quarters of an hour, but due to the defect in the +aviator's signals and our own skill in taking cover we suffered no +casualties. We were congratulating ourselves that we were to pass +through this ordeal uninjured, when suddenly a 5.9-inch shell fell +short. It exploded almost in our midst, and I was unlucky enough to get +in the way of one of the shrapnel bullets. I felt a slight sting in my +right temple as though pricked by a red-hot needle--and then the world +became black. + +Dawn was now breaking, but night had sealed my eyes, and I could only +grope my way among my comrades. I was hit about 2.30 a.m., and it +speaks volumes for the Medical Service that at 2 p.m. I was tucked +safely in bed in a thoroughly-equipped hospital many miles from the +scene of my mishap. + +Willing hands tenderly dressed my wounds and led me to the foot of the +ridge on which we were located. I was then placed on a stretcher, and +carried up the slope to one of the narrow-gauge railways that had been +run to the crest of Vimy Ridge. I was now taken to the end of what is +called the Y Road, and thence borne to one of the ambulances which are +always in waiting there, grim reminders of the work in hand. + +My first impression of my ambulance driver was that I had fallen into +the hands of a Good Samaritan. He was most solicitous about the welfare +of the "head-case," and kept showering me with questions, such as: "Are +you comfortable, Mac?" (everyone in the Canadian Corps was "Mac" to the +stranger). "Tell me if I am driving too fast for you; you know, the +roads are a little lumpy round here." I didn't know it, but I was +quickly to become aware of the fact. His words and his driving did not +harmonize; if he missed a single shell-hole in the wide stretch of +France through which he drove, it was not his fault. I shall never +forget the agony of that drive; but at length, bruised and shaken, I +arrived at the Casualty Clearing Station at--but, no, I will not mention +its name; some of my readers may know the men who were there at the time +of my arrival, and there is pain enough in the world without +unnecessarily adding to the total. At the Clearing Station I learned two +things: First, that all the best souvenirs of the war are in the +possession of men who seldom or never saw the front line; and, secondly, +the real meaning, so far as the wounded "Tommy" is concerned, of the +letters R.A.M.C. The official records say they stand for the Royal Army +Medical Corps; but ask the men who have passed through the hands of the +Corps. They'll tell you with picturesque vehemence, and there will be +nothing Royal or Medical in their answer. For my own poor part, here's +hoping that the thirty-eight francs that disappeared from my pockets +while in their hands did some good somewhere. But I sadly wanted that +money while in the hospital at Boulogne to satisfy a craving I had for +oranges. Perhaps the beer or _eau de vie_ that it no doubt purchased did +more good than the oranges would have done me. Again, let us hope so! + +From the Casualty Clearing Station I was taken to the hospital at St. +Omer, which was later to be laid flat by Hun air raids. And here, for +the first time, I realized the full weight of the calamity that had +overtaken me, and what being "windy" really meant. I was first visited +by the M.O., who removed my bandage and had my head skilfully dressed; +after him came a priest of the Church to which I belonged, who +administered to me the rites of the Church; then followed the assistant +matron, who endeavoured to cheer me up by asking if I wished to have any +letters written home. Before my inward eyes there began to flash visions +of a newspaper notice: "Died of wounds." But although a bit alarmed, +more by the attentions shown me than by my physical condition, the +thought of pegging-out never seriously entered my mind. + +I spent four days at the hospital at St. Omer, and was then transferred +to Boulogne, together with a New Zealand sergeant who was in the same +plight as myself, and whom I later had the pleasure of meeting under +more favourable and happier conditions at dear old St. Dunstan's. At +Boulogne, I was given a thorough examination, and the doctors concluded +that an absolutely useless member of the body was an unnecessary burden +to the bearer, and so they removed what remained of my left eye. I was +still vainly hoping that my right eye, which was remote from my wound, +might recover its sight; but as the days crept by while the blackness of +night hung about me I grew alarmed, and one day I asked the O.C. +hospital why he was constantly lifting up my right eyelid. Truth to +tell, I was scared stiff with the thought that they were contemplating +removing my remaining eye, but I gave no outward sign of my fear. No +matter how "windy" one is, it would never do to let the other fellow +know it, at least not while you are wearing the uniform of the +Canadians. I, therefore, quickly followed my first question with the +inquiry if he thought he might yet get some daylight into my right eye. +"When?" he questioned. And, still clinging to the hope that I was not to +be forever in the dark, I replied, "In five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five +years; any time, so long as I get some light." In answer, he merely +patted me on the shoulder, saying: "Never mind, things are not always +quite so bad as they look." Then he moved away from my cot, and a moment +later I heard him talking in undertones to another officer. This +officer, whom he now brought to my bedside, proved to be Captain Towse, +the bravest man it has ever been my privilege to meet, and while I was +up the line I met many brave men who, where duty called, counted life +not at a pin's fee. + +Captain Towse is a double V.C. It is hard enough to get the Cross +itself, and there are few men who dare even to dream of a bar to it. I +was now in personal touch with a man who, in distant Africa, during the +Great Boer War, with both eyes shot away, had gallantly stood firm, +urging his men to the charge. He came to my bedside with a cheery: +"Good morning, Canada! How is the boy this morning?" My answer was the +usual one of the boys in France: "Jakealoo!" Then he pointedly asked me +a question that set me wondering at its purport. + +"You are a soldier, are you not, Canada?" + +I replied with a somewhat mournful: "Well, I was one time, but I can't +say much as to the truth of that now." + +Then he hit me harder than any Hun shell could hit a man. He snapped out +in a voice penetrating, yet with a cheery ring to it: "Well, you are +blind, and for life. How do you like it?" + +For about five seconds (it was no longer) the night that sealed my eyes +seemed to clutch my soul. I was for the moment "down and out"; but I +braced my spirits in the presence of this dominating man. I would show +him how a Canadian soldier could bear misfortune. So I gathered myself +together as best I could under the circumstances; swore just a little to +ease my nervous strain, and replied: "That's a hell of a thing to tell a +guy." + +Then came words that rolled a mighty load from heart and brain. Captain +Towse praised my soldierly bearing under misfortune, and praise from +this blind double V.C. meant much. He had been sorely smitten at a time +when there was no St. Dunstan's, no Sir Arthur Pearson, to make his +blindness into just a handicap, instead of what it nearly always was +before the days of St. Dunstan's, an unparalleled affliction. But +Captain Towse beat blindness, and did it, for the most part, alone. + +Now the cruel fact had to be faced; the only world I would see +henceforth would be that conjured up by the imagination from memories of +the past. Then the difficulties of the future crowded upon me. Even if I +were not to see as other people do I should still have to eat; and +dinners do not grow by the roadside, and if they did I could not see to +pick them up. + +"Well, Jim," I said to myself, "you are in a fine fix; what are you +going to do to get those three square meals a day that you were +accustomed to in civil life?" Then I began to wonder what particular +street and what street corner in old Toronto would be best suited for +selling matches, bootlaces, pencils, and postcards. While in this vein, +I conjured up visions of cold, grey days, days when customers did not +appear, and imagined myself led home at night without having enough to +buy even a meal. My humour suggested strolling along the roadside +singing doleful songs. I even chose a song, "The Blind Boy," by the late +W. G. Chirgwin, on which I might try my voice. + +All this passed through my mind while Captain Towse was still standing +by my cot. + +I was suddenly startled from my gruesome speculations by the captain +asking me if I had made up my mind to go to St. Dunstan's. I had to +confess that I did not know the place, where it was, or what it was for. +Then he told me that he wished to take down some particulars regarding +me. He wanted to know my full name, regimental number, when I was hit, +where I received my wound, who was my next of kin, and many other +particulars, all of which I, at that time, thought a most unnecessary +and foolish proceeding. + +While the Captain was questioning me, I heard a rapid, clicking sound +following each of my answers. The noise fascinated me, and after a brief +time I made bold to ask him what it was. The answer fairly staggered me. + +"It's a Braille machine," he replied. "I am writing down your answers." + +I knew he was blind--blinder than any bat; and, in my ignorance, I asked +him, in an irritated voice, if he thought that it was fair to try "to +kid" a man who had just been told that he would never again have the use +of his eyes. He uttered no word, but I had a feeling that a smile was +playing on his lips; and the next moment the machine he had been +operating was placed in my hands. He then began patiently to explain its +use, and what a moment before had seemed an utter impossibility I +realized to be a fact. Although the blind could not see, they at least +had it in their power to put down their thoughts without the aid of a +second party; and, not only that, the world of knowledge was no longer a +sealed book--they could read as well as write. The eye had been +accustomed to carry the printed word to the brain; now the finger tips +could take the place of eyes. I now recalled that I had seen a blind man +sitting at a street corner, running his fingers over the pages of a big +book; but I had paid no heed to it, thinking it merely a fake +performance to gain sympathy from the public. I told this to Captain +Towse, and he replied kindly that I should soon learn much greater +things about the blind. At St. Dunstan's, he said, there were about +three hundred men, all more or less sightless, making baskets, mats, +hammocks, nets, bags, and dozens of other useful articles, mending +boots, doing carpentry, learning the poultry business, fitting +themselves for massage work, and, what seemed to me most incredible, +taking up stenography as an occupation. + +[Illustration: The Boot-Repairing Workshop] + +Men--men who could not see as did other men, were doing these things; +straightway, the old street corner, the selling of matches and +shoelaces, the street strolling singing in a cracked voice while +twanging some tuneless instrument, vanished. Other men had risen above +this crowning infirmity; why could not I. Boulogne and this meeting +with Captain Towse had saved me. Gloom vanished, for the moment at any +rate, and my whole being was animated by a great resolve--the resolve to +win in the battle of life, even though I had to fight against fearful +odds. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +IN BLIGHTY + + +It was with a sense of relief that, shortly after this, I received word +that I was to be sent to England. To me, it was the promised land, in +which I was to be fitted to take my place as a useful, independent +member of society. The trip to Dover was pleasant and exhilarating; the +run to London a bit tedious. But an incident that occurred on my arrival +at Charing Cross Station touched my heart as has nothing else in my +life, and my misfortune seemed, for the moment, almost a blessing; it +taught me that hearts beat right and true, and that about me were men +and women eager to cheer me on as I played the game of life. + +It was just one of London's flower-girls, one of the women who +religiously meet the hospital trains and shower on the wounded soldiers +the flowers they have not sold--flowers, no doubt, held back from sale +in most cases for this charitable purpose. When the attendants were +moving me from the train and placing me on a stretcher, I was gently +touched, and a large bunch of roses placed in my hand. The act was +accompanied by the words: "'Ere ye are, Tommy. These 'ere roses will +'elp to liven things up a bit when yer gets in the 'ospital. Good luck +to you, matey; may yer soon get better." The voice was harsh and +unmusical. Grammar and accent showed that it had been trained in the +slums; but the kindly act, the sympathetic words, touched my soul. + +The act was much to me, but the flowers were nothing. In answer to the +girl's good wishes, I replied that I did not see as well as I used to, +and that my power of enjoying the perfume of flowers had also been taken +from me; perhaps there were some other wounded boys who could appreciate +the beauty and scent of the flowers better than I could, and she had +better put them on one of their stretchers. But she left them with me, +and, in a voice in which I could detect a tear, said:-- + +"Well, matey, if yer can't see, yer can feel. Let's give yer a kiss." + +I nodded assent, and then I received the first kiss from a woman's lips +that I had had since I left home--and then she passed away, but the +memory of that kiss remains, and will remain while life lasts. + +I was now taken to St. George's Hospital, and from there to No. 2 London +General Hospital (old St. Mark's College), Chelsea. In this institution +I met for the first time one of the geniuses of the present age, a man +who spent his life working not with clay or marble, or wood or metal, +but with human beings, taking the derelicts of life and moulding them +into useful vessels--Sir Arthur Pearson, a true miracle worker, a man +who has given the equivalent of eyes to hundreds of blind people, who +has enabled many men who felt themselves down and out to face life's +battle bravely, teaching them to look upon their affliction as nothing +more than a petty handicap. A few years ago, as everyone knows, Sir +Arthur was one of the leading journalists and publishers in the British +Empire, the true founder of Imperial journalism. At the summit of his +career, while still a comparatively young man, he was smitten with +blindness. He would not let a thing like that beat him; he conquered +blindness, and set himself to help others to conquer it. He soon became +the leading spirit in the education of the blind in Great Britain, and, +despite his handicap, was elected President of the National Institute +for the Blind, and was the guiding star in many organizations +established to aid the sightless. When war broke out his success as an +organizer, his power as a teacher, caused the authorities to choose him +to look after the blinded of the Army and Navy. + +[Illustration: Sir Arthur Pearson] + +My meeting with Sir Arthur occurred in the following manner. The ward +door was open--I knew that by the gentle breeze that swept across my +cot. Suddenly, from the direction of the door, a cheery voice exclaimed: +"Are any new men here? Where's Rawlinson?" + +I answered: "Right here, sir! But who are you?" + +"Well, Rawlinson, and how are you getting along? When do they figure on +letting you get away from here? You know, we are waiting for you at St. +Dunstan's." + +I knew then that the man standing by my cot was the famous Sir Arthur. I +shook hands with him, and thanked him for his kindly interest in asking +about me. I offered him the chair that always stands beside the hospital +bed. He must have heard me moving some objects I had placed on it, in +order to have them within reach of my hands. + +"Never mind the chair," he said. "Just sit up a bit; there is room +enough on the bed for both of us. Have you got a cigarette to give a +fellow?" + +I apologized, saying that I had only ---- ----, and that I didn't think +he would care to smoke them. + +"Do you smoke them?" he questioned. "If they're good enough for you to +smoke, they're good enough for me." + +That set me right at my ease. I was in the presence of a knight; but he +was first and last a _man_. Straight to the point he went. He never puts +a man through that bugbear of the soldier, a host of seemingly +inconsequential questions; he has the particulars of each man who is +likely to come under his direction long before he visits him. + +"Have you," he said, "made up your mind to join our happy band at St. +Dunstan's. There's lots of room up there for you, and we want you." + +Just here I would remark that No. 2 General was a sort of preparatory +school for St. Dunstan's. The adjutant from one of the St. Dunstan's +establishments, either the House, College, or Bungalow, came to read the +newspapers and talk with the men who were to study under him. So we had +by this means picked up much information about Sir Arthur, and knew the +man even before meeting him; but the being conjured up by our +imagination fell far short of the real man. He did not come to your +bedside commiserating with you over your misfortune. He was totally +unlike the average visitor, whose one aim seemed to be to impress on you +some appropriate--often most inappropriate, considering your +condition--text of scripture. Well, he was with me, and we talked and +smoked, the knight and the private soldier, both blind, but both +completely ignoring the fact. During our talk darkness seemed to +vanish, and I saw a great light--the battle could be won, and I would +win it. After that conference, I knew full well that I should not be a +burden upon anybody, sightless though I was. + +Up to this time my idea of a blind man was just what is or was that of +the average sighted person--a man groping his way about the streets or +standing at some conspicuous corner with a card hanging on his breast +telling the world that he could not see; a cup to hold the coppers that +the sympathetic public would drop into it; and last, but not least, a +faithful little dog, his friend and guide. During the first days of my +blindness I often wondered where I was going to get a suitable pup. + +While at No. 2 London General, preparation for my future work went on. +As soon as I was able to get out of bed, I was taken once each week to +St. Dunstan's to talk with other men in residence there--a species of +initiation. While in hospital, too, as soon as we were able to work a +little, we were given the rudiments of Braille. This was not compulsory; +and if we wished to yield to fate and sit with hands idly folded we +were at liberty to do so. But the majority of the men were eager for +occupation of any kind. + +Lying in bed or sitting on a hospital chair, unable to see the objects +about you, there is a danger of deep depression being occasioned by +melancholy brooding. To prevent this, the V.A.D.'s who worked in the St. +Dunstan's Ward saw to it that the men were not left too much to +themselves, and kindly attention kept me from becoming morbid while +waiting for my exchange to St. Dunstan's. + +As I was a Canadian, I had to go down to the Canadian Hospital to +receive my final Board--just a matter of that child of the devil, +red-tape. August 13th saw me on my way to Regent's Park, where St. +Dunstan's is situated. My heart leaped within me; I was going to have +first-hand knowledge of the marvellous things about which I had heard. I +was going to learn things that would put me out of the stick, tin-cup, +card-around-my-neck, and little-dog class. Thirteen may be an unlucky +number, but that 13th of August was, notwithstanding my blindness, the +beginning of the happiest year of my life since I left my mother's +home. + +On my way to St. Dunstan's, I journeyed from the Marble Arch to Orchard +Street, then by bus up Orchard Street, Upper Baker and Baker Streets, +right past Marylebone, on the right of which stands Madame Tussaud's +famous Wax-Works, and on to Baker Street tube. Just past the tube is +Clarence Gate, one of the entrances to Regent's Park. Entering the +grounds, we followed the park rails until we came to two white stone +pillars. I have painful recollections of these pillars. For the first +two weeks after my arrival at St. Dunstan's I made their acquaintance +frequently, and in no pleasant manner. I was anxious to find my way +about without assistance, and those pillars always seemed to stand in my +way. Head, shoulders, and shins all bumped into them. They would meet me +even if I walked in the broad roadway. And they were hard, very hard. +They were at first a pair of veritable ogres, but in the end I conquered +them, and could walk by them with a jaunty air, whistling a tune of +defiance. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +AT ST. DUNSTAN'S + + +When I arrived at St. Dunstan's, the place was practically deserted. The +summer holidays were on, and all the men were away, either at their +homes in the British Isles or at one of the annexes of St. Dunstan's. +Sir Arthur sees to it that no man goes without his vacation. Torquay and +Brighton were within easy reach, and at these seaside resorts there were +rest homes for the St. Dunstan's men. Since that time, so greatly has +the attendance increased, it has been found necessary to open other +vacation resorts. It is to these places that the sightless Colonials go. +When the boys got back, work began in earnest. + +I have been speaking of St. Dunstan's; it is now fitting that I give a +description of this Mecca of the sightless, or, as we say, of those who +do not see quite as well as other people. A hostel for the training of +those having defective sight suggests a barrack-like structure with +whitewashed walls, board forms for the accommodation of the students, +and the rudest of furniture. What need is there of the beautiful for +those who are without eyes, or who have eyes that see not? But the blind +have a keen appreciation of the beautiful, and ample provision has been +made by the founders of St. Dunstan's for satisfying the aesthetic +craving of the students. + +[Illustration: St. Dunstan's: The House] + +St. Dunstan's stands on one of the largest estates in the city of +London. It is surpassed in size only by the Royal Palace of Buckingham. +The grounds are over sixteen acres in extent, and it has one of the most +beautiful lawns in the United Kingdom. The House belongs to Mr. Otto +Kahn, an American financier, who played an important part in bringing +the United States to the side of the Allies. When Sir Arthur Pearson +started out on his big drive in the interests of the soldiers and +sailors who might be deprived of their sight in the Great World War, Mr. +Kahn generously laid the whole of this magnificent estate at his +disposal. The House itself is one of the most famous in the United +Kingdom. In the days when it was the property of Lord Londesborough, it +was often the scene of royal gatherings. The Kaiser visited it so +frequently that the people in the vicinity began to look upon his coming +as a matter of course. Entering the gate to the left, the first object +to meet the eye is the lodge-keeper's house, a picturesque, +rose-embowered structure. Then comes the lawn, a wide stretch of velvety +turf, cool and restful. The approach to the House itself is through an +avenue of mulberry trees, well intermingled with lime. In the summer +season the air is filled with the scent of flowers, welling forth from +roses, yellow jasmine, and pink almond blossoms. Entering the building +by the main entrance, to the left of the hallway the visitor sees the +office of Sir Arthur and those of his staff, who, under the supervision +of the chief, control the hostel. At either side of the hallway are two +magnificent chairs, one of which was the favourite seat of Edward the +Peacemaker, and the other that of Kaiser Wilhelm II., the German War +Lord. Passing through the hallway, the lounge room is reached, and a +little farther the outer lounge, formerly Lord Londesborough's ballroom, +where are staged the charming concerts for which the House is famous. + +But St. Dunstan's is not a mere resthouse. It is essentially a humming +hive of industry, an educational institution where there is something +for everyone to learn. Whether a man can see or not, he can here find +occupation for his hands and mind. After all, we do not _see_ with our +_eyes_; they merely carry sights to the seeing brain, and the hands, and +even feet, can perform the same duties, only in a different way. +Teachers were many and willing. And here I should like to record the +fact that no one can teach the blind quite as well as the other fellow +who is also sightless. I know whereof I speak, for I have been piloted +around localities by people who could see and also by people whose +"eyesight was not as good as it once was." This last expression is +borrowed from Sir Arthur, who always speaks of his sightless boys as: +"The boys whose eyesight is not quite as good as it once was." + +About a week after the boys had returned from their vacation, I had a +chance to visit the workshops. What a hive of industry these same +workshops are! Go there, you men and women blessed with sight, and see +for yourselves what your sightless brother is doing in the way of making +himself over again, bringing into play his latent powers, and turning +what seemed to be a worthless creature, a burden to himself and +humanity, into the only asset--a producer--that is worth while to any +country. The obstacles he faces at the beginning seem unsurmountable; +but at St. Dunstan's the spirit of the place grips him and the word +"cannot" disappears from his dictionary. But at first he has much to +unlearn. All his old methods of work have to be forgotten. He is, in a +sense, a child again, born the day his sight was taken from him. But +though his sight is lost, if he is the right sort, the greatest asset a +man possesses can never be taken from him--his spirit, his determination +never to be a burden on others; his feeling, his knowledge that what +others have done he can do. His confidence in his ability to make good, +his spirit of independence--he still has these, and they enable him to +win greater victories than any he might have achieved in battle, +victories over that terror of the sighted--blindness. + +Those of us who claim St. Dunstan's as our _Alma Mater_ are often told +that we can talk of nothing but the place and the treatment we received +there. Our answer is: Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth +speaketh. She took us up when we were in the depths and remade us into +_men_; she taught us to be real producers; she made it possible for us +to take our place in the ranks of the earners--in fact, all that we know +and all that we are we owe to her. There is only one point on which Sir +Arthur and his boys disagree. Sir Arthur claims that it was the boys who +made St. Dunstan's; the boys maintain that St. Dunstan's made the men. +While I was in residence there, there were about five hundred and fifty +men undergoing instruction, and yet St. Dunstan's carried on smoothly +and serenely without the slightest vestige of discipline in the ordinary +sense of the word. Only two per cent. of those who passed through the +institution failed to make good. What other educational establishment +can boast such a record? And yet nothing was compulsory except sobriety. + +I was at St. Dunstan's for sixteen months, and as my case was typical I +cannot do better, in order to give a detailed account of the work there, +than relate my own experiences. When I was ready to begin work, I went +before the Adjutant and arranged what courses I would take up. Times for +classes were fixed, teachers named, and everything done to enable me to +begin my training for the battle of life. I was, as it were, a child +again, about to enter school for the second time, but under vastly +different conditions from my first entrance, about a quarter of a +century before. Braille and typewriting were taken up as a matter of +course. Braille is taught to enable the sightless to read for +themselves, and typewriting in order that it will not be so hard on +their friends, as it is much easier for the blind to learn to typewrite +than it is for the sighted to learn to read Braille. It took me four +months to master Braille, but I passed my typewriting test in less than +three weeks. I was pleased with my achievement in respect to the +latter, as I had determined to take up stenography and typewriting as a +profession. There was an added incentive for the students to take up +typewriting, for Sir Arthur, the most generous of men, presents each of +his boys with a typewriter when he is leaving St. Dunstan's. + +The occupations were varied, and in my early days as a student, my +greatest pleasure was to visit the various rooms where workers were +engaged at different callings. Here some were repairing shoes, and +humming ditties happily as they worked; now the rustling and crackling +told me that I was in the presence of men making baskets and mats; +again, the sound of hammers driving home nails and of planes made me +aware that I was among carpenters. In addition to these trades, men were +at work studying poultry-keeping, and taking courses in massage work. At +first I viewed all this from the attitude of the sighted, and it seemed +to me an unparalleled miracle; but after a time I took it all as a +matter of course. + +[Illustration: The Carpenter Shop] + +The stenographic and massage courses take the longest time; but at St. +Dunstan's there is no time limit set for any course. If proficiency +is not achieved in one month or six months, the student can keep +doggedly at it for a longer period. St. Dunstan's is a home until +proficiency in the chosen calling is achieved. "Grow proficient" was Sir +Arthur's demand of his boys; and with few exceptions they stuck at it +till he was satisfied. + +The time of actual work for each man was about three and a half hours +per day. From this it will be seen that it was not all work at St. +Dunstan's. While the main purpose of the institution is to make +producers of men with a serious handicap, another great aim is to +brighten their lives and create in them that buoyant spirit--the _moral_ +of life--that is half the battle. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +BRAILLE + + +I have often been asked, "What is Braille? Is it raised letters?" +Braille was originated by a Frenchman named Louis Braille, in 1829, and, +with a few trifling changes, stands to-day as it left the hands of its +inventor. The base of the system consists of six raised dots enclosed in +what is called a cell, thus-- + ++---+ |. .| |. .|. |. .| +---+ + +The dots are numbered as follows: left-hand dots, 1, 3, 5; right-hand, +2, 4, 6. For reading purposes the dots are arranged in cells +corresponding to the base cell, each cell being a letter or contraction. +In Grade II Braille, there are in all eighty-two word and letter signs. +The letters of the alphabet + + +---+ + |. | + are as follows: Dot 1-- | | --represents the + | | + +---+ + + +---+ + |. | + letter A; dots 1 and 3-- |. | --the letter B; + | | + +---+ + + +---+ + |. .| + dots 1, 2-- | | --the letter C; dots 1, 2, 4-- + | | + +---+ + + +---+ + |. .| + | .| --the letter D, and so on. The arrangement + | | + +---+ + + + +of the dots in the cell gives not only all the letters of the alphabet, +but signs that stand for words and phrases as well. + +I began the study of Braille with Miss Gilles, a New Zealand lady, as my +instructor, while I was at St. Mark's Hospital. I was first given a +wooden box full of holes. Into these holes my teacher showed me how to +put nails with large heads, the nails being placed in cells to +correspond with the Braille alphabet. After I had succeeded in grasping +the principle of Braille by means of the nails--which, by the way, I +frequently jabbed into my fingers instead of into the holes--I was given +a card with the alphabet on it. At first the dots seemed without form +and void; and when I was asked what numbers I felt, I did wish for my +eyes, as I was utterly unable to convey to my brain the letter under my +fingers. The hardest part of Braille for the beginner is not in getting +it into the head, but in getting the fingers to take the place of eyes. +But it is only necessary to persevere to get the proper, illuminating +"touch" into the finger tips. The men made sightless in the war were in +most cases confronted with grave difficulties. Their hands were hardened +by toil, and their fingers calloused by work in the trenches. One of my +comrades, when given his Braille card, struggled over it for a time, and +then exclaimed: "I wish they'd leave this card out in the rain till the +dots swelled to the size of door-knobs; then I might be able to read +it." + +[Illustration: The Braille Room] + +Before I left St. Mark's I had mastered the first ten letters of the +alphabet; but I was soon to learn that if one does not keep at it, +"touch" will be lost. After leaving St. Mark's, I spent three idle weeks +at Folkestone. As a result, when I arrived at St. Dunstan's I had to +begin my Braille all over again. My teacher at St. Dunstan's, Miss +Wineberg, proved herself as patient as was Miss Gilles; but patience is +a characteristic virtue of all the women who instructed the sightless +boys in the Braille Room, and among them were some of the best-known +ladies in England, four having titles. These teachers sit for hours +making men "stick it," in many cases against their will, until they have +mastered the mystery of correctly judging the number and arrangement of +dots under the finger tip. The theory of Braille can be grasped in six +weeks by the average student; but it takes from four to six months to so +cultivate touch as to make the fingers readily take the place of eyes. +After the reading of Braille has been mastered, writing it, an even more +difficult operation, is taken up. When I had satisfactorily passed my +test in both reading and writing, I entered that holy of holies, the +Shorthand Room. The four teachers in this room are all blind. Our +teacher was Corporal Charles McIntosh, who had lost both his eyes and +his right leg while with the Gallipoli Expeditionary Force. I have +stated that there are eighty-two signs in Grade II Braille; but Braille +shorthand contains six hundred and eighty word and letter signs that +have to be committed to memory. A herculean task was before me, but by +dogged effort on my part and patience on the part of my instructor, I +succeeded so well that in a few weeks I was able to take shorthand notes +as speedily as the average sighted stenographer. Meanwhile, I had been +diligently at work at my typewriting, and under the kindly instruction +of Miss Dorothy Charles Dickens, a granddaughter of the great novelist, +I had soon acquired sufficient speed and accuracy to qualify for work. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE SPIRIT OF ST. DUNSTAN's + + +To give an adequate account of the work done at St. Dunstan's, and of +the spirit of the place, it is necessary to touch upon the personnel of +the hostel. I have already dwelt at some length on the patient +self-sacrifice of the teachers of Braille: the spirit they display +animates the entire staff. The work of the V.A.D.'s is beyond praise. +Very few of these noble women actually live on the premises; most of +them live in annexes provided for them by the St. Dunstan's management. +What they do, what they endure, can best be comprehended by following +them through a day's work. + +They rise at 6 a.m., and after acting as their own housemaids for their +sleeping apartments, wend their way to the various houses to which they +are assigned. Breakfast hour is at 7 a.m. After this meal, the real work +of the day begins. At the Bungalow, where I was staying, the V.A.D.'s +ate at three tables; and after each meal two were told off to clear the +tables. At 8 o'clock the men had their breakfast, two of the women being +given the task of waiting on each table; and as they had to attend to +sixteen men, all healthy specimens of humanity, some of whom had been +out on the lake since early morning, getting up a voracious appetite, +their work was far from light. There was, I might say just here, no +shortage of food at St. Dunstan's, not even while the war was on; and we +had a lingering suspicion that Sir Arthur had a "pull" with the Food +Minister. At any rate, he secured us all we could eat, and of excellent +variety; and there were few in London who could say as much after food +was rationed. Breakfast over, the Sisters, as they are called, went to +the dormitories. Each dormitory held twenty-five beds; and with these +and in other ways, they were kept busy until 11.45. The dinner hour was +twelve o'clock. After dinner some of the men always went for a row on +the lake; and of course, they needed some one to steer the boat. A +Sister was called, and she gladly joined the boys. During my entire +stay at the Bungalow, I never heard one grumble or complain at these +calls on her time and energy. At 2 p.m., the morning Sisters went off +duty, and their time was their own until six in the evening, when they +again came on, and devoted themselves to the needs of the men until nine +o'clock. They were allowed one afternoon a week, which afternoon began +at 6 p.m.; and on this day they were on duty until this hour from six in +the morning. In addition, they were granted a week-end every three +months. These women did their bit during the war--and are still doing +it--as truly as did the men at the front. Their work was hard, +nerve-racking, and often of a disagreeable kind; and it must be +remembered that many of them had never so much as dusted off their own +pianos before taking up their duties at St. Dunstan's. + +The matron of the Bungalow was Mrs. Craven, a sympathetic woman of +heroic mould, and with a wide experience in war work. She has two South +African medals, and for twelve months was matron of the hospital at +Bar-le-Duc that Fritzie once termed "that damned little British +hospital," just eight miles behind the lines at Verdun; at a time when +the Germans were exerting their utmost power to break through, and were +making the destruction of hospitals and clearing stations a specialty. +Mrs. Craven was every inch a soldier. The following incident admirably +illustrates her character. One of the men was one day calling for a +Sister just at the time that they were going off duty for the morning, +and waiting to be relieved by the afternoon Sisters. The man had called +three or four times at the top of his voice, "Sister! Sister! Anybody's +Sister!" There was no response. The matron heard him, and rushed to his +assistance. As she passed through the Lounge Room she met a Sister--a +new one, by the way--who had paid no attention to the call. The matron +asked her, somewhat sternly, "Did you not hear that man calling?" + +"Yes, Matron; but I am off duty now." + +"Off duty! If you were up the line and were going off duty, and a convoy +of broken, bleeding men were being brought in, would you think that you +would be justified in not going to their aid because you were off +duty?" + +"Under such circumstances I should not think of such a thing." + +"Well, I wish you to remember that there is no time here when you are +off duty. While working in St. Dunstan's all the staff are on duty for +twenty-four hours a day. These men have been deprived of the most +precious thing God had given them while seeing to it that we women might +live here in comparative safety and comfort. I am here to see to their +welfare, and I intend that everyone working with me shall do the same at +all seasons and all hours. Never let me hear you speak of being off duty +again when a cry of distress goes up. The work here is just as important +as if you were up the line. These men, although healed of their open +wounds, need our aid, for the time being at any rate, to help them bear +the burden that has been laid upon them." + +Mrs. Craven was a veritable mother to all who came under her care, and +the boys showed their appreciation of her services when she was "called +up" by the War Office to take charge at one of the largest hospitals in +England. + +The matron of the House, known to all as "Sister Pat," was compelled to +retire from her position on account of a breakdown in health. When she +was leaving, the boys presented her with a trifling gift as a mark of +their esteem, and to keep them green in her memory. But no gift was +needed for that. As she accepted the present, she said: "Boys, Sister +Pat will come back to you. She cannot leave her boys for ever. I will +come back to you if you will have me, if it is only to clean your +boots." Her place in the heart of her boys will never be filled. + +Then there was Captain McMahon, adjutant at the Bungalow. The captain +had lost a leg in the South African War. The operation had not been a +success, and the "Skipper," as we affectionately called him, put in many +painful hours. To my own knowledge, on one occasion, he endured extreme +suffering for thirty-six hours at a stretch. It was clear to all that a +second operation was needed. One day, while in his office, I asked him +why he did not go to a hospital and have another amputation. My remark +was an innocent one, but I was quickly made to regret it. + +"Rawlinson," he replied, "I did not think you would ask me such a +question." + +"Why?" I continued. + +"Why!" he snapped back. "Don't you know that there are still hundreds of +boys coming down the line wounded and broken?" + +"Yes," I answered. "But why should that stop you?" + +Then I got it. "Jim," he said, "there might be one of those boys that +would require the bed that I occupied, and my being there might +necessitate that lad having to go to one of the hospitals perhaps right +in the north of England. No, Jim, I will wait till all of them have been +set on their feet again before I make application for a bed in one of +the London hospitals." + +And so Captain McMahon heroically continued to bear his suffering rather +than keep one of the derelicts from France out of a bed. Next to Sir +Arthur Pearson, he was dearest to the men in the Bungalow. They loved +him, and there was not one of the two hundred and fifty men there who +would not gladly have allowed him to walk over his body if it would be +for his good. The "Skipper" was a Man, a man's man, a father to all of +us, whom it was good to know. When the boys were worried they took their +troubles to him. He made all their worries his own, and it was +surprising what a big load of care he could carry. + +Mrs. Craven, "Sister Pat," and Captain McMahon were leaders in the life +at St. Dunstan's. But the whole place was animated with the same spirit +that inspired them; the spirit that manifested itself in its fulness in +Sir Arthur Pearson, and in a lesser degree in every student. It made all +the boys workers, and created in them the desire to help others, to make +the world a little better for their being in it, even if they had to +work under a handicap. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +AIR RAIDS + + +When I left the shores of France I thought I was permanently out of +danger from the death-dealing missiles of the enemy; not that I cared +much then; I had received such a blow that I should not greatly have +regretted a stroke that would have ended my earthly career. But the arm +of Germany was long, the ingenuity of the War Lords great; by means of +their magnificent submarines they had carried the war to the shores of +England, so by their superb air force they were to bring it to the heart +of London; indeed, by their Zeppelins, those crowning failures of their +efficiency, they had already done that. + +I had been in London but a short time when, on Saturday, July 21st, +1917, I had my first experience of an air raid in a crowded city. At the +time I was in St. Mark's Hospital, undergoing my preliminary training +for St. Dunstan's, at the moment in the ward receiving instruction in +Braille. Shortly before noon some one entered the room and exclaimed +jubilantly that a vast flock of aeroplanes, estimated at from thirty to +sixty, were manoeuvring at a great height in battle formation over the +city, and we were congratulating ourselves that the War Office had at +length aroused itself and was demonstrating its ability to cope with any +attack by heavier-than-air machines that the enemy might send over. As +we listened to the news and longed for our eyes that we might have a +sight of this spectacle, the thunderous report of a bursting bomb +undeceived us. These planes were not marked with the friendly +tricoloured circles, but with the ominous cross. There were cries of +terror, a hurrying of feet, a near panic as bomb succeeded bomb. Many of +us had been disciplined to war conditions, had dodged bombs at the Somme +and Vimy Ridge, dodged them when shrapnel was spraying about us and +machine-gun and rifle bullets made the air hiss on every side; but this +attack in the heart of a great city was not without its terrifying +aspect. After having escaped death on the battle-field, it would be +horrible to have to meet it in the tumbling ruins of a crushed building. +But we faced the situation stoically. London and its suburbs had over +7,000,000 people, and, by the theory of chances, we concluded that we +were not likely to be hit. + +This was the first Hun aeroplane success over London, the only one in +which he accomplished anything of value from a military point of view, +one bomb knocking a corner off the General Post Office, St. Martin's in +the Field, and almost disrupting the whole of the telegraph system that +was carrying messages to and from military headquarters. There was, of +course, the usual slaughter of defenceless women and children, deeds +that the Hun hoped would terrorize England, lower the _moral_ of her +people, and keep a large army within the island for home defence. How +little he knew the British race! The deplorable thing in connection with +the raid was that while it was in progress there was not a single +machine in the air combatting the attackers, and not an anti-aircraft +gun in action. The War Office needed to be roused from its slumbers. It +was; and when the next raiders came over they had a warm reception. + +My next experience was in the open. One day I was walking through +London's streets when the approach of a raiding force was announced. +Shelters were by this time provided for the citizens, and to one of +these underground bomb-proof spots, a tube, I made my way. At this time, +London was largely a city of women and foreigners--at least so it seemed +to me. I had evidently hit upon a shelter of a most cosmopolitan +character. The place was packed with a frightened mob, trembling and +groaning with terror, and expressing their fears in many tongues utterly +unknown to me. The air was stifling with that distinctive odour that +seems to emanate from the great unwashed; in this case garlic seemed to +be the prevailing perfume. It was a mixed crowd, however, and women in +silks rubbed shoulders with women in tattered gowns, all moved by the +one thought--self-preservation. Most of them, I judged by their cries +and gasps, were almost insane with terror. But there were heroines +among them. Two women near me were holding an animated conversation. + +"Say," said one, "ain't it time that this war wuz over? Why don't they +stop? I haven't been in bed to stay for over six nights, and I'm getting +tired of it all." + +The answer told the real spirit of the average British woman, a spirit +that was doing much to win the war. + +"Liza," replied the first speaker's companion, in a somewhat indignant +voice, "Bill's over there, ain't 'e? 'E's tryin' to stop that ---- +blighter from treatin' us like 'e did the women of Belgium and France. +'E's gettin' this every day, and still smiles and sticks it. Yer can't +git me to say stop it. Carry on is my motter till the ---- Hun is +slugged out of existence." + +This rough, humble Cockney woman displayed the same spirit that was +being shown by the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps in France. The girls of +this corps took it upon themselves to do the work that was being done by +men who thought themselves permanently installed in bomb-proof jobs. +What is more, they did it well. Take this one instance. During the +German drive of 1918, some of these girls were working in canteens a +short distance behind the front line. As the Germans swept forward with +irresistible might, and had almost reached the camps and billets where +the W.A.A.C.'s were, the girls were ordered to leave the danger zone in +motor lorries. They refused, saying: "Those waggons can be used to carry +wounded men back; we can walk." And walk they did; slinging their packs +on their backs and marching nineteen miles over rough, muddy roads. But +not all of them; some of the boldest stayed behind to see that the boys +got hot tea or coffee to revive their tired, in most cases, wounded and +broken bodies. Their courage brought them under shell-fire; but they +carried on dauntlessly. During my last days in London, when I was +singing at one of their hostels, I met four of these women, each of whom +had lost a leg, and one was proudly wearing a Military Medal. + +The woman of the tube and the refined W.A.A.C.'s were "sisters under the +skin." Had the former had her way, she would have been at Bill's side, +handing him cartridges while he potted the enemy. + +While I was at the Bungalow, we had a somewhat thrilling experience from +air raids. In September, 1917, the raiders were exceptionally bold, and +during the first ten days of the month visited London no fewer than +eight times. Night after night we were roused by the whistling of sirens +and the bursting of maroons, thin shells that made a big noise, warning +all that an air raid was in progress, and giving pedestrians and others +a chance to take shelter from enemy bombs and the shrapnel of the +anti-aircraft guns, the latter even a greater menace to those in the +open than the former. On one of these nights I, with two Canadian chums, +sightless like myself, had just entered the Bungalow when the maroons +began to explode and the whistles to shriek. Bed was out of the +question. Besides, the matron, Mrs. Craven, would be up on the instant +to look after her boys. True to form, the matron appeared, and we drew +up one of the Davenports in front of a cheerful grate fire. + +"Are all you boys feeling right?" asked the matron. + +Before we had time to answer, the anti-aircraft guns opened up their +barrage. They seemed to be shooting right over the Bungalow, for pieces +of shrapnel clattered on the roof like great hailstones. One piece, +about a pound in weight, smashed through the roof and into the matron's +room. As we sat there, overhead we could hear the angry droning of the +Hun planes and the whistling rush of the dropping bombs, each moment +expecting one to crash among us. A bomb that dropped near by, in St. +John's Wood, sounded as it if were going to pay us a visit, and I +nervously remarked: "This one is ours, Matron!" + +"Well, Rawlinson," she replied, without a quiver in her voice, "we are +still soldiers, you know, and if it comes, what better could we ask than +a soldier's death." + +That night four bombs dropped in the grounds within a radius of four +hundred yards, but fortunately none of them did any material damage. + +On another night we were being entertained at one of the delightful +concerts arranged for us by the staff. The concert was at its height +when the guns opened up. Our entertainers suggested stopping the +performance, but we objected to having such a trifling matter as an air +raid interfere with our fun, and the concert went merrily on, and before +it was over the Huns were beating it for home, chased by daring British +aviators. + +On several occasions the raiders hove in sight after the inmates of the +Bungalow were all in bed. But Sir Arthur had seen to it that we should +be warned in time, so that in case we received a direct hit we should +not be caught like rats in a trap. News of the approaching raiders was +sent in by the telephone simultaneously with its receipt by the police +authorities, and one of the orderlies on watch visited the rooms and +roused the men, instructing any who so wished to take refuge in the +shrapnel-proof cellars over at the House. Needless to say, none of the +boys rushed for shelter--not from our ward, at any rate. We either got +up and dressed to enjoy the thrill of listening to the droning planes, +bursting bombs, and clattering shrapnel, or lay in bed, quietly taking +the whole matter with philosophical indifference. The danger signal came +as soon as the raiders crossed the East Coast, and then all was hubbub +and excitement in London until the "all clear" was sounded by that +gallant little--little in body, but big in heart--band of boys known as +the Boy Scouts, who were posted at every police station. + +No doubt many of us felt a bit "windy" during these raids, but in the +presence of the other fellow we would not show it. Our buildings and +grounds, right in the heart of London, were most conspicuous; and, +besides, Regent's Park was not without its military importance, for in +it were kept the aerodrome stores. Its lake and the canal which runs +between it and the Zoo, made it a shining mark for the Hun bombers. But +we stood our ground fearlessly through all these raids, listening to the +din of this aerial warfare, awed not so much by the explosions as by the +bedlam created in the Zoo, where, as soon as a raid was on, the lions +roared, elephants madly trumpeted, monkeys chattered, parrots shrieked, +and wolves howled dismally. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +ROYAL VISITORS + + +St. Dunstan's was frequently visited by British aristocracy, but, by all +odds, the most interesting visitors were members of the Royal Family. +His Majesty, King George, dropped in on more than one occasion, just +like an ordinary citizen, without the usual frills and pageantry that +accompany Royalty. In his visit to St. Dunstan's he went through the +place without even an equerry in attendance. He showed a deep and +sincere interest in the training and work of the men. He seemed to be a +little sceptical about our ability as poultry-raisers. On one occasion, +when visiting the poultry-house while a class was being instructed, he +signified that he would like a practical test of the power of the blind +to distinguish different breeds of fowls. The attendant caught a bird +and handed it to one of the students, an Imperial officer, by the way, +and scarcely had he touched it before he correctly pronounced it a +Plymouth Rock. The King was still sceptical, and a second and third bird +were handed the demonstrator, and the birds were properly named. This +convinced His Majesty that, though blind, the men could "carry on" in +what seemed to him an incredibly difficult occupation for the sightless. + +[Illustration: Mat Weaving] + +Her Majesty, Queen Mary, took an equally active interest in our hostel. +I met her under peculiar circumstances at the Bungalow. I had just +entered the Lounge from the Shorthand Room, when I heard the "Skipper" +calling me. I went up to him through an opening between a line of +chairs. When I reached Captain McMahon, he said: "Her Majesty, Queen +Mary, wishes to meet you, Rawlinson." And to the Queen he remarked: +"This is Rawlinson, who is learning to be a stenographer." Her Majesty +showed genuine interest in me, as she did in all the boys, and asked me +many questions about my wound, the circumstances under which I received +it, and what part of the line I was operating in when I was struck. She +then questioned me about the progress I was making with my work, and +about my life in the Bungalow. She finally complimented me on my ability +in finding my way about despite my handicap. It is not every day that a +private has the privilege of chatting familiarly with a queen, and in my +vanity I answered: "I know my surroundings at St. Dunstan's as well as I +do the palm of my hand." After a moment's silence, I asked Captain Mac +if that was all he wanted of me. He said that would do, and I turned to +depart. But while talking to the Queen I must have turned slightly +without knowing it, and I had lost my bearings. I stepped out boldly, +and tumbled clean over one of the chairs, and that after boasting to Her +Majesty that I knew the place "as well as I do the palm of my hand." It +was truly literally a case of pride going before a fall. + +About half an hour later, I was going down the garden walk leading to +the Outer Circle, when I heard women's voices farther down the path. I +honk-honked--the usual signal of the boys when wishing the right of way. +Among the party in front of me was the Matron of the House, who said to +me: "Come on, Rawlinson, the way is all clear." + +"Is that you, Matron," I replied; then, in a simulated injured tone, I +remarked that I had been talking to Queen Mary that afternoon, and: +"Would you believe it, Matron, she had not the good manners to shake +hands with a guy." + +The Matron answered me in a somewhat flurried tone: "Her Majesty is +here, Rawlinson." + +Needless to say, I was somewhat abashed. Canada had gone far beyond his +objective, as usual, but Canada was unfamiliar with retreat, and I +determined to stand by my guns. + +"Well," said I, "will she shake hands now?" + +"I surely will," replied the Queen. She did it with a firm pressure that +showed genuine feeling. She then asked me if I were out for a walk. +"No," I replied, "I'm going to meet another queen. Two queens in one +afternoon is not bad going for an old Canuck, is it?" "It certainly is +not," she replied. "And I do hope," she added with a merry laugh, "that +the other queen will not forget to shake hands when she meets you." + +As I went away I heard her remark that that is "a very cheerful boy; +his blindness does not seem to trouble him much." She was right. It did +not by this time. I had so far progressed with my work that the future +was assured; work and happiness I could still find in this old world. + +While at St. Dunstan's I had still another meeting with Royalty. One day +I was walking up the Lounge, along the strip sacred to the sightless, +when bump I went against someone who was stooping over while questioning +another student. I had collided with a woman, who immediately turned and +apologized most profusely for being in my way. She was most sorry that +she "did not see me coming." I was in an irritated mood; the sightless +always are under such circumstances. A collision of this sort always +reminds them of their handicap, a thing they delight to ignore. +Impatiently, I replied: "That's all right, ma'am. But if you people with +eyes, when you visit us, would only remember that there are some men +here that cannot see just as well as they once did, it would make it +easier for us." Again she apologized, and took my hand, giving it such +a hearty, sympathetic pressure that I felt somewhat ashamed of myself +for my hasty words. As I renewed my walk up the Lounge, one of the +V.A.D.'s overtook me, and asked what had happened. I told her, and she +almost took my breath away by telling me that I had been "saucing" Her +Most Gracious Majesty, Queen Alexandra. I quite expected to be "on the +carpet" before the chief for my words, for Sir Arthur was standing by, +and must have heard them. But Sir Arthur had a way of avoiding causing +his boys the slightest pain, and he no doubt knew that when I realized +to whom I had spoken so hastily, my chagrin would be sufficient +punishment. I hope the good Queen has forgiven my lack of courtesy, and +forgotten the incident--a thing I am not likely to do. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +IN PLAYTIME + + +It was not all work at St. Dunstan's. Sports were encouraged and +fostered in every way; but rowing and tug-of-war were by far the most +popular. Fully sixty per cent. of the men went in for rowing, and some +very skilful and powerful oarsmen were turned out. There were two +regattas each year. The preliminary heats of each regatta were pulled +off on the lake that runs into the grounds of the House, and the finals +took place on the River Thames. Single sculls, pair-oars, and fours were +our strong points. The Bungalow turned out two men who had no superiors +on the river either sighted or sightless. Sergeant Barry, at one time +the world's champion sculler, coached the team during the seasons of +1917 and 1918. So successful were the Canadians that there are now a +number of St. Dunstan's rowing prizes in Canada. + +The tug-of-war team, of which I was a member, was quite as successful as +the oarsmen. Indeed, we lost only one point during the whole season. We +treated all comers alike: they were there to be pulled over; and we saw +to it that they came. The following was our war song; we sang it going +to the grounds, and we sang it coming away. + + The Canucks are on the rope, on the rope, on the rope; + Their breasts are full of hope, full of hope, full of hope; + They tell the teams they pull against + That they're out to win the cup. + Canadians do your bit, do your bit, show your grit; + Lay back on that rope, legs well braced; never sit. + Make your snow-clad country proud + Of her boys who are on the line. + + Chorus-- + + Take the strain, take the strain; + First a heave, then a pull, then again. + The boys are pulling, the boys are pulling; + Yes, they're pulling with might and main. + Take the strain, take the strain; + First a heave, then a pull, then again. + They'll come over; they'll come over; + For the timber wolves are winning once again. + +Not a very elaborate piece of poetry, and sadly deficient in metre and +rhyme; but it certainly did mean much to us when we heard our supporters +singing it. We sang it to the tune of "Over there." Out of justice to my +comrades, I must plead guilty of composing it. + +The average weight of the team was only 145lbs., but what the men lacked +in weight was made up in grit. The team was chosen from fifteen +Canadians, all who were at the Bungalow at the time; and seven of the +nine men who comprised the team were "black" blind. Yet this team beat +the pick of five hundred others. I have heard some of the men of the +other teams asking: "Why do they always pull us over? We are heavier, +man for man we are stronger, and we have more sight than they have." + +One of the opponents discovered the secret, and thus expressed himself: +"I know what it is; it's the--what they themselves call 'pep'; it's the +vim they put into the game; it's the enthusiasm they have for all sorts +of sport. I was billeted close to some of them on the Somme; they were +always the same whether in or out of the line." + +He hit the nail on the head. The Canadians had the vim, the dogged +determination; they would not submit to defeat, even in sport. + +My mention of lack of sight among the men might seem superfluous to +those who have not pulled on a tug-of-war team. The advantage of sight +lies in the fact that a man to use his strength to the best advantage +must make a straight pull. If any member of the team is pulling at an +angle, those behind him are wasting their own pull while minimizing his. +For success, all must pull together, and the rope must be kept straight +and taut. + +Theatricals did much to add pleasure to our lives. We not only enjoyed +those of outside performers, but we put on several plays, and the boys +took their parts well, and a prompter was very little in evidence. The +sighted are at a loss to understand how a drama, comedy, or sketch can +be enjoyed by the sightless. But the spoken word acts on the inward +eye, and the entire stage is revealed as vividly to the brain as if it +were carried there by sight. One of the annoying things to a sightless +person is to have some sighted friend sit by him at a play, describing +costumes and scenery. The blind have no need of such aids. + +Chief among our sources of amusement was the Rag-time Band, which did +much to enliven our idle hours. Any who have been lucky enough to hear +this band have had a rare treat. It was composed entirely of men who had +been "over," and had lost their sight. But this loss of sight had not +lessened their love of music or their power of musical expression, as +many of the boys who were in hospital in London can testify. High-class +singers, theatrical parties, in fact, all the leading theatrical +performers and many minor ones, paid their tribute to the boys by +entertaining them with song and sketch; but no performance had quite the +same popularity as the rag-time discoursed by the "blind boys." And the +remarkable thing about the band is that it is doubtful if any member +had ever, before going to St. Dunstan's, played a more elaborate +instrument than a Jew's-harp or a mouth organ. The side-drummer, who +played the side-drum, bass drum, cymbals, Chinese block, motor-horn, +triangle, and clappers was a boy who had lost both eyes. + +I have vivid recollections of the celebration at St. Dunstan's on +Armistice Day, November 11th, 1918; on that day the band excelled +itself, and played as if it meant that its music should be heard in +Germany. This occasion is one that will live long in the memory of those +of us who were at St. Dunstan's when the "scrap of paper" virtually +ending the war was signed. Our Rag-time Band then really came into its +own. Ask London. She will tell you that there was never a more popular +band in the city. The students of St. Dunstan's paraded through the +streets of the great metropolis in full regalia. As an initial step to +our parade, we managed somehow or other to secure a disused old +fire-engine, and on this the band piled. Sir Arthur's battalion lined up +in fours and followed. Through the busiest streets of the city we +marched with, at first, about two hundred and fifty men in the +parade. But before we had finished we extended over more than a quarter +of a mile. A procession of munitioners happened to meet us, and when +they found out who we were they immediately tacked themselves onto our +little line. We marched to Buckingham Palace, and here we were halted by +our leader--a Canadian, by the way. It seems that word had been passed +to their Majesties that the St. Dunstan's men were outside. At any rate, +they both came out, and I doubt if his Majesty ever had such a salute as +was given him on that day. Sergeant-Major George Eades, a Canadian +pioneer, drooped the colours with a flag that could not have measured +more than a foot square; but his Majesty took the salute and answered +it. + +[Illustration: Sightless Canadian Four] + +Besides the amusements already mentioned, dances were held frequently +and thoroughly enjoyed. Then, as I have said, there was rowing, and +Regent's Park Lake was constantly visited by blind lads and their +friends to enjoy this sport. We had even a four-oared Canadian crew--all +blind, and as they skimmed over the lake, rowing in perfect time, an +observer would have difficulty in detecting that they were sightless. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +MEMORIES OF THE FIGHTING FRONT + + +During my early days at St. Dunstan's, I was inclined to brood a bit, +and the past was constantly before my mind's eye; but gradually under +occupation the past became shadowy, and the future was for me the only +reality. Even the scenes through which I had passed in the months I was +at the front took on the semblance of a dream--sometimes a nightmare; +but it seemed to me that it was not I--the St. Dunstan's student--who +had endured cold and wet and forced marches, who had felt the shock of +high-explosive shells, the stinging threat of machine-gun and rifle +bullets, who had taken part in wild charges over the top, but some other +being. However, in the stillness of the night, one incident I had +experienced, one scene I had witnessed, kept constantly recurring to my +mind with a vividness that kept the World War and my humble part in it a +stern reality for me. The affair in question occurred on April 19th, +1917. + +Ten days before, on Easter Monday--a red-letter day for the Canadians, +but a day black as night for the Germans--the troops from the Dominion +had in one swift forward movement swept the enemy from positions which +he had thought impregnable along Vimy Ridge. For days after that, we +wallowed around in the mud, gaining a village here, a trench there, and +driving him from hills and wood fastnesses. All the time we were +expecting that he would come back in force to make a mighty effort to +regain the territory he had held for over two years against the British +and the French. He had apparently proved his right to it, and since +September 15th, 1916, had been resting at his ease in his underground +dug-outs and capacious caverns. + +On the night of the 19th, the battalion to which I belonged had just +ended a tour of duty in the front line. We were to be relieved by +another battalion of the 3rd Division of the Canadian Corps. There was +but one road out, a road which at that time was considered a +masterpiece of road-building. Three days had been allotted for its +construction. The Imperial engineers contended that the task was an +impossible one, but G.H.Q. said it would have to be done, and the +Canadian engineers were assigned the work. To their credit, it was +completed in the stipulated time. + +To retire from the side of the ridge facing the German position, it was +necessary to take this road, and, as the crest of it was under almost +continuous shell-fire, for safety we were sent over in sections of ten +men at a time. This territory had all been in Fritzie's hands, and he +knew every inch of it. The road was a vital spot, and more shells were +dropped on it than upon any other place of the same area on the Western +front. On the top, about two hundred yards away, lay the ruined village +of Thelus; once in it we should be comparatively safe. + +I was in the last section of my platoon, and at the top I paused to look +about me at the scene that presented itself. It was horrible; it was +glorious; it was magnificent--it was War. The centre of the road was +fairly clear, but at the edges all was chaos. The night was a wonderful +one; the moon was shining in all her glory, and pale stars twinkled in +the sky. In the bright moonlight I could see all about me dead and +wounded men, wounded men who would surely "go West," for, once down, the +chance of escape from that hell-hole was slight. Here and there were +great W.D. waggons, G.S. waggons, ammunition mules bearing 6-inch +howitzer and the smaller 18-pounder equipment--in fact, everything that +was in any way connected with the grim business that was being carried +on. Here and there, too, through this chaos of war, ration parties +wended their way to and from the front line trenches. + +Just as we reached the crest of the ridge, that spur of France that had +taken such heavy toll from Hun and Ally, we heard a warning shout: "Keep +to the edge of the road!" We wondered at the caution. The middle of the +road was comparatively clean, while towards the edges it was ankle-deep +in sticky mud, and we had been floundering around in a quagmire for the +last eleven days. But we soon knew the reason; for while we hesitated +up came a battery of guns at full gallop--big howitzers at that. Drivers +shouted; horses plunged and tugged at their traces; the guns bounded and +rattled in and out of the shell-holes that pitted the road, sometimes +seeming to be balanced on only one wheel. It was a thrilling sight, such +as comes to the eyes of a man only once in a lifetime. It gripped us +all. Poor Sergeant Harry Best, our platoon sergeant, who was near me, +relieved the tension by exclaiming: "Get that, Jim! You will never see +such a sight again, even if you stayed out here for fifty years. If a +painter were to put that sight on canvas he would be laughed at as a +dreamer." + +I said, poor Sergeant Best! He had seen the sight of his lifetime, but +he was not long to enjoy it, for the next trip in, when he was all ready +to go to London to take his commission, he was "sent West" by a bomb +from a trench mortar. Harry was a little strict, but he was dead fair, +and, best of all, a thorough soldier. How is it that nearly all the good +ones get, or seem to get, the worst of the deal; they certainly play +for the most part in hard luck. But then they take risks that the +"safety-first" soldier never takes. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE SIGHTLESS + + +When I began to write this personal narrative I had two main thoughts in +mind. My first was that no work written on the World War would be +complete without some account of the transference of the soldier back +from khaki to mufti; my second, and to my mind the more important, was +to show the man himself, suffering from a serious handicap, that one of +the greatest truths in this life of ours is: there is nothing that a man +cannot do, if he _has_ to. This needs explanation. There are few men who +have come out of this war just as they went into it. Apart from injuries +they have sustained, there is unavoidably a new outlook upon life, +gained by their sojourn in the trenches. No matter who the man is, no +matter how settled were his views on the management of this old world, +his stay "over there" has changed his point of view. His whole mental +attitude has undergone something of the nature of a revolution in the +crucible of war. Up the "line," he saw things stripped to the buff, saw +life and death in all their nakedness. The veneer of so-called +civilization has been worn off, and the _real man_ shows through. That, +to my mind, is why friendships made amid the blood, mud, hunger, and +grime of the trenches are friendships that will endure through life. It +is there _Man_ meets _Man_, and admires him. I have met men in the +trenches to whom, had I met them in ordinary life, I would not have +given a second thought. When they first came to the front they were +known as "sissies," but not for long. They, for the most part, quickly +acquired that character and bearing that is the rule of the trenches. +There were exceptions, of course, but not many. As I write there comes +to my mind a little incident that happened in a dug-out in a trench +known to the 9th Brigade as Mill Street. Those who were there at the +time will remember it from the fact that the body of a French soldier +was lying half buried under the parapet at one of the entrances. Poor +Frenchy's whole right side was showing from the foot to the waist line. +The day of which I write had been rather warm. A working party had been +out repairing a firing step and revetting the trench. A "sissy" came +down the steps of the dug-out, mopping his forehead with a +handkerchief;--fancy any one carrying a handkerchief in the front line; +one had essentials enough to carry without being burdened with such a +feminine article;--another of the boys was sitting writing a letter with +his ground-sheet under him in the mud. The sissified one blurted out: +"Holy gee! but I'm perspiring profusely." The kid writing the letter +looked up and sarcastically answered, "Wouldn't sweatin' like 'ell be +more to the point." Later in my military career I had a chat with the +commander of the company to which the "sissy" belonged, and he +incidentally remarked that the lad had turned out to be one of the most +reliable and plucky fellows in the battalion. I have often wondered +since if that little remark "sweatin' like hell" had not helped him to +buck up and fit into his general surroundings. + +Since I have been sightless, two things have deeply impressed +themselves on my mind. The first is that no person with sight can, or +ever will be able to, see from a blind man's point of view; the second, +that no one who can see can ever understand or gauge a blind man's +capabilities or limitations. When I speak of a blind man in this sketch, +I, of course, refer to those who have suddenly been deprived of sight. +Of the man who was born blind or who became sightless early in life I do +not profess to know anything. But the viewpoint of the blind is, in the +majority of cases, different from that of the sighted--I mean in the +matter of earning one's living and making oneself independent of +charity. The man who has been blinded in battle has seen life--and death +for that matter--stripped of all its frills and flounces. His mind and +viewpoint have been enlarged and broadened by his life in the Army. But +he sees life from an angle that is denied the sighted. To be made into a +wage-earner he must be handled rightly. He must not be "mollycoddled"; +to do so would be to leave him a burden to himself and to his friends. +He must not be made to feel that he is an object to be set in a corner +where he can hurt neither himself nor others. It does not do to treat +blind men in the lump; they must be handled individually. Each and every +case stands by itself. Tact, and a lot of it, patience, and perseverance +are the essentials for re-making a man who has lost his sight, into what +he desires to be--a being capable of earning a living and producing +results in the industrial world. For the attainment of this end, two +things are necessary--confidence and independence. Once he has learned +these, he has won half his battle--a hard battle, how hard he alone +realizes. For my own part, my first two months of blindness, at least, +were Hell with a capital H. Let me illustrate what I mean by confidence +and independence. + +Whilst at St. Dunstan's, I was, for some reason or other, given the job +on quite a few occasions of meeting men who were feeling rather harder +than was thought necessary the darkness that enveloped them. If a man +came in feeling that there was nothing in life for him now that he was +blind, I was given the task of cheering him up and showing him, if I +could--and I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did not often +fail--that this old world was not such a bad place, even if one's lights +were put out. One case stands out with prominence, and when I look back +at the results of my work after twelve months have passed, it is not +without a measure of pride. + +One Saturday afternoon, a young Canadian came to the Bungalow. He was +talked to by both the Adjutant and the Matron, who did all in their +power to "buck" him up. They failed hopelessly, as the "kid" felt too +far gone; he just would not try to look at the bright side of life. Then +some one suggested that he be brought over to "Rawly." When we met, I +began our conversation with: "Well, kid, how are things?" He snapped +back: "For God's sake, another preacher!" It was somewhat of a +staggerer, but I had been through it all myself, and understood the +boy's feelings perfectly. In the darkness that sealed his eyes he was +forced to grope his way about stumblingly, usually with the help of a +guide. He had not yet gained confidence in his own powers. I straightway +determined to inspire him with that confidence. + +In the first days of my sojourn at St. Dunstan's, I, for a time, felt +that never again should I be able to step out into the world except with +halting step and a horror of what might happen. The management of the +institution had constructed an elaborate system of gravel paths, along +which were wooden palings which would prevent the students losing their +way. A knob in these palings told of a turning; a plank served to warn +that we were approaching steps or a steep incline. In the work-rooms and +through out the entire buildings, strips of carpet served as a guide to +the feet. But it took time to gain confidence even with these aids; and +then they were confined to the buildings and grounds. Confidence would +only come when one was able to navigate his way alone through busy +thoroughfares. Shortly after entering St. Dunstan's I determined to +venture out alone. A guide accompanied me on my outward journey, but I +dismissed him and determined to find my way back without help. I +cautiously kept to the outside of the walk, using my stick as a guide, +but I had not calculated on obstructing posts; bump I went into one, but +nothing daunted, I kept on. I was about to test the hardness of another +with my head when a sympathetic soul seized me by the arm and saved me +just in time. I asked him to direct me to the wall bordering the walk. +He did so; but I had not taken into consideration the fact that there +were stores with goods out for display in front of them. I was first +made aware of this by hitting a somewhat flimsily-constructed fruit +stand. At this moment a motorcycle a few feet away back-fired viciously. +It sounded like the explosion of a shell. Vimy and its horrors came back +on the instant, and I involuntarily ducked for safety, or, rather, +sprawled forward at full length. Down came the fruit stand, and there I +lay among apples, oranges, and bananas. Kindly hands helped me to my +feet, and set me on my way. My first experience of solitary walking out +had been a rough one, and for a time I felt beaten, and had very much +the attitude of this boy towards the future. But my experiences would +help him. I had conquered in time, and could journey about freely +without even the aid of a stick. I would not let him know that I was +"black" blind, but I would take him out with me and show him what the +blind could do unaided if they would only bring into play their latent +powers. + +We chatted for a time about the war, and the prospect of his return to +Canada and his friends. He gradually thawed out, and took me in a +measure into his confidence. But he was still in the depths, and +continually referred to his deplorable lot. There was, he said, nothing +in this world for him now, and he added pathetically: "I'm only twenty +years old; I have seen practically nothing, and as both my eyes are out, +I never shall be able to enjoy life and nature. I wish I had got the +full issue instead of half of it; I should have been a lot better off." + +Now, there is an unfailing means to get on the good side of any one who +has spent any time in "Blighty," and that is to suggest tea. So I asked +him if he would not like a cup and some cake: I knew, I said, a nice +tea-room where we could get a good cup. + +"Yes," he replied, "I should enjoy something to drink; but who will take +me to your tea-room?" + +"Come with me," I said; "I will be your pilot." + +So away we toddled out of the Bungalow and down the rails which run +round the Outer Circle, right through Clarence Gate, down Upper Baker +Street, past the Tube, and across the road to Gentle's. Well, we had the +tea; and companionship and the refreshments seemed to cheer up the lad. +At any rate, he began to talk about things they told him he could learn +at St. Dunstan's; and I seized the opportunity to say: "Well, things are +not quite as bad as they seemed at first, eh? You see we got down here +all right." This was in answer to his saying that one would always be +compelled to depend on a guide in his ramblings. + +"Yes," he replied, "we got here all right, but you can see some. It's +easy for you guys to talk about getting around by yourselves when you +can see, be it never so dimly; but remember that I have both my eyes +out." + +This was what I had been working for and waiting for all afternoon. I +wanted him to think that I could see; my turn would come sooner or +later, and my answer to him would make him buck up if anything could. + +"Eh, old boy," I said, with a degree of exultation; "I am as 'black' +blind as you are. I have one eye, it is true, but it is na-poo, finis, +just as much as your's are." + +"Do you really mean that, Jim?" he asked. + +"I certainly do; and you just fell into the bear-pit I had ready for +you." + +"Well, let me tell you," he said, with stern determination, "if you have +done this, here's another boy who can do likewise." + +That boy returned to Canada with a full knowledge of poultry-breeding +and egg-producing, basket-making, rough carpentry, and all kinds of +string work, such as hammock and net weaving. He became one of the +brightest and happiest students in St. Dunstan's, and, incidentally, I +might mention that that same lad, who felt himself down and out for all +time, developed into one of the best dancers that ever put foot in +slipper. + +[Illustration: Basket Making] + +Another lad--an Australian, this time--wanted to go over the House. I +acted as his pilot, and on our way back to the Bungalow he asked me how +much I could see. I told him, "nothing." He answered: "Say, Digger, I've +been taking some chances, haven't I? But this I will tell you, the +next time I want to come over here I am going to find the way myself." + +All that those boys needed was to realize that others who were +handicapped as they were could work and move about on their own +initiative, and they would be quick to follow their example. Confidence +is infectious; it passes from one individual to another. Above all, it +is the absolute foundation for success in a man who cannot see--or, for +that part of it, in any man. + +I have said sufficient to show that the man from whom the external world +is suddenly shut out is still able to "carry on." For my own part, I +have returned to Canada, and am busy in useful employment, working among +comrades similarly situated with myself. Three years ago, had any one +told me that a blind man could qualify as a stenographer I should have +ridiculed the idea. But I am now able to take dictation in Braille +shorthand at the rate of one hundred and twenty words per minute and +then transcribe my notes on any typewriting machine on the market just +as speedily as the ordinary sighted typist. And I never operated a +typewriting machine before I became a student at St. Dunstan's. + +As I said, I am back in Canada, and not getting my living through +charity. What I am I owe to St. Dunstan's, and while labouring here my +heart ever goes back to dear old England. I feel towards St. +Dunstan's--and so do all the boys who have passed through her halls--as +does the grown man for the place of his birth. She is home for me. I was +born again and nurtured into a new manhood by her, led by her from +stygian darkness to mental and spiritual light, and my heart turns with +longing towards her. At times, separation from the genial atmosphere of +this paradise of the sightless, from contact with the dominating, kindly +presence of Sir Arthur Pearson and his noble assistants, weighs heavily +upon my spirits. But there is work to be done here in Canada, and, in a +humble way, I am able to continue the good work done at St. Dunstan's; +if not in a militant way, at least by example, taking my place among the +producers, toiling daily with hands and brain. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Through St. Dunstan's to Light, by +James H. 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