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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
+Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits, by Samuel R Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits
+       Embracing An Exposition Of The Principles Of Good Manners;
+       Useful Hints On The Care Of The Person, Eating, Drinking,
+       Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-Culture, And Behavior At
+       Home; The Etiquette Of Salutations, Introductions,
+       Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation,
+       Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, The Street, The
+       Church, Places Of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., With
+       Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship,
+       and Rules of Order for Debating Societies
+
+Author: Samuel R Wells
+
+Release Date: September 12, 2008 [EBook #26597]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO BEHAVE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Karen Dalrymple, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images from the Mann Library, Cornell
+University.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT--No. III_
+
+
+
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE
+
+A POCKET MANUAL
+
+OF
+
+Republican Etiquette,
+
+AND
+
+GUIDE TO CORRECT PERSONAL HABITS,
+
+EMBRACING
+
+AN EXPOSITION OF THE PRINCIPLES OF GOOD MANNERS; USEFUL HINTS ON THE
+CARE OF THE PERSON, EATING, DRINKING, EXERCISE, HABITS, DRESS,
+SELF-CULTURE, AND BEHAVIOR AT HOME; THE ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS,
+INTRODUCTIONS, RECEPTIONS, VISITS, DINNERS, EVENING PARTIES,
+CONVERSATION, LETTERS, PRESENTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE STREET, THE
+CHURCH, PLACES OF AMUSEMENT, TRAVELING, ETC.,
+
+WITH
+
+Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of
+Order for Debating Societies.
+
+
+[Signature: Samuel R. (Roberts) Wells]
+
+
+  The air and manner which we neglect, as little things, are
+  frequently what the world judges us by, and makes them decide
+  for or against us.--_La Bruyère._ Order my steps in thy
+  word.--_Bible._
+
+
+  NEW YORK:
+  FOWLER & WELLS CO., PUBLISHERS,
+  753 BROADWAY.
+  1887.
+
+
+  ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS IN THE YEAR 1857 BY
+
+  FOWLER AND WELLS
+
+  IN THE CLERK'S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
+  STATES FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+    Politeness Defined--The Foundation of Good Manners--The Civil
+    Code and the Code of Civility--The Instinct of Courtesy--
+    Chesterfield's Method--The Golden Rule--American Politeness--
+    Utility of Good Manners Illustrated.                       Page ix
+
+I.--PERSONAL HABITS.
+
+    Where to Commence--Care of the Person a Social Duty--Cleanliness--
+    The Daily Bath--Soap and Water--The Feet--Change of Linen--The
+    Nails--The Head--The Teeth--The Breath--Eating and Drinking--What
+    to Eat--When to Eat--How much to Eat--What to Drink--Breathing--
+    Exercise--The Complexion--Tobacco--Spitting--Gin and Gentility--
+    Onions, etc.--Little Things                                     15
+
+II.--DRESS.
+
+    The Meaning of Dress--The Uses of Dress--Fitness the First
+    Essential--The Art of Dress--The Short Dress for Ladies--
+    Working-Dress for Gentlemen--Ornaments--Materials for Dress--Mrs.
+    Manners on Dress--The Hair and Beard--Art _vs._ Fashion--Signs of
+    the Good Time Coming                                            31
+
+III.--SELF-CULTURE.
+
+    Moral and Social Training--Cultivation of Language--Position and
+    Movement--The Ease and Grace of Childhood--Standing--Sitting--
+    Walking--Hints to the Ladies--Self-Command--Observation--Practical
+    Lesson                                                          42
+
+IV.--FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.
+
+    Manners and Morals--Human Rights--Duties--The Rights of the
+    Senses--The Faculties and their Claims--Expression of
+    Opinions--The Sacredness of Privacy--Conformity--Singing out of
+    Tune--Doing as the Romans Do--Courtesy _vs._ Etiquette--An
+    Anecdote--Harmony--Equality--A Remark to be Remembered--General
+    Principles more Important than Particular Observances           48
+
+V.--DOMESTIC MANNERS.
+
+    A Test of Good Manners--Good Behavior at Home--American
+    Children--Teaching Children to be Polite--Behavior to
+    Parents--Brothers and Sisters--Husband and Wife--Married
+    Lovers--Entertaining Guests--Letting your Guests Alone--Making
+    one "at Home"--Making Apologies--Duties of Guests--Treatment of
+    Servants--Rights of Servants--"Thank You"                       56
+
+VI.--THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.
+
+    Introductions--Letters of Introduction--Speaking without an
+    Introduction--Salutations--Receptions--Visits and Calls--Table
+    Manners--Conversations--Chesterfield on Conversation--Music--
+    Letters and Notes--Up and Down Stairs--Which Goes First?--An
+    American Habit--Gloved or Ungloved?--Equality--False Shame--
+    Pulling out one's Watch--Husband and Wife--Bowing _vs._
+    Curtseying--Presents--Snobbery--Children                        64
+
+VII.--ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.
+
+    Dinner Parties--Invitations--Dress--Punctuality--Going to the
+    Table--Arrangement of Guests--Duties of the Host--Duties of the
+    Guests--The "Grace"--Eating Soup--Fish--The Third Course--What
+    to do with your Knife and Fork--Declining Wine--Finger Glasses--
+    Carving--Evening Parties and their Observances--French Leave--
+    Sports and Games--Promiscuous Kissing--Dancing--Christmas--The
+    New Year--Thanksgiving--Birthdays--Excursions and Picnics--
+    Weddings--Funerals                                              83
+
+VIII.--THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.
+
+    How to Behave on the Street--Stopping Business Men on the Street--
+    Walking with Ladies--Shopping--At Church--At Places of Amusement--
+    In a Picture Gallery--The Presence--Traveling--The Rush for
+    Places--The Rights of Fellow-Travelers--Giving up Seats to the
+    Ladies--A Hint to the Ladies on Politeness--Paying Fares       100
+
+IX.--LOVE AND COURTSHIP.
+
+    Boyish Loves--The Proper Age to Marry--Waiting for a Fortune--
+    Importance of Understanding Physiological Laws--Earnestness and
+    Sincerity in Love--Particular Attentions--Presents--Confidants--
+    Declarations--Asking "Pa"--Refusals--Engagement--Breaking Off--
+    Marriage                                                       110
+
+X.--PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.
+
+    Courtesy in Debate--Origin of the Parliamentary Code--Rules of
+    Order--Motions--Speaking--Submitting a Question--Voting--A
+    Quorum The Democratic Principle--Privileged Questions--Order of
+    Business--Order of Debate                                      116
+
+XI.--MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.
+
+    Republican Distinctions--Natural Inequalities--American Toad
+    Eaters--General Lack of Reverence for Real Nobility--City and
+    Country--Imported Manners--Fictitious Titles--A Mirror for
+    Certain Men--Washington's Code of Manners--Our Social Uniform--A
+    Hint to the Ladies--An Obliging Disposition--Securing a
+    Home--Taste _vs._ Fashion--Special Claims--Propriety of
+    Deportment--False Pride--Awkwardness of being Dressed          124
+
+XII.--MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.
+
+    Cheerfulness and Good Humor--The Art of Pleasing--Adaptation of
+    Manners--Bad Habits--Do what you are About--People who Never
+    Learn--Local Manners--How to Confer Favors--How to Refuse--
+    Spirit--Civility to Women                                      135
+
+XIII.--ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.
+
+    Elder Blunt and Sister Scrub Taking off the Hat, or John and his
+    Employer--A Learned Man at Table--English Women in High Life--
+    "Say so, if you Please"                                        139
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+
+This is an honest and earnest little book, if it has no other merit;
+and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of our
+great Republic, whom it is designed to aid in becoming, what we are
+convinced they all desire to be, true American ladies and gentlemen.
+
+Desiring to make our readers something better than mere imitators of
+foreign manners, often based on social conditions radically different
+from our own--something better than imitators of _any_ manners, in
+fact, we have dwelt at greater length and with far more emphasis upon
+general principles, than upon special observances, though the latter
+have their place in our work. It has been our first object to impress
+upon their minds the fact, that good manners and good morals rest upon
+the same basis, and that justice and benevolence can no more be
+satisfied without the one than without the other.
+
+As in the other numbers of this series of Hand-Books, so in this, we
+have aimed at usefulness rather than originality; but our plan being
+radically different from that of most other manuals of etiquette, we
+have been able to avail ourself to only a very limited extent of the
+labors of others, except in the matter of mere conventional forms.
+
+Sensible of the imperfections of our work, but hoping that it will do
+some acceptable service in the cause of good manners, and aid, in a
+humble way, in the building up of a truly American and republican
+school of politeness, we now submit it, with great deference, to a
+discerning public.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+Some one has defined politeness as "only an elegant form of justice;"
+but it is something more. It is the result of the combined action of
+all the moral and social feelings, guided by judgment and refined by
+taste. It requires the exercise of benevolence, veneration (in its
+human aspect), adhesiveness, and ideality, as well as of
+conscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of human
+solidarity--the flowering of philanthropy--the fine art of the social
+passions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and painting
+and sculpture to the eye.
+
+One can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a mere
+matter of arbitrary forms. It has as real and permanent a foundation
+in the nature and relations of men and women, as have government and
+the common law. The civil code is not more binding upon us than is the
+code of civility. Portions of the former become, from time to time,
+inoperative--mere dead letters on the statute-book, on account of the
+conditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist; and many of
+the enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding force
+from the same cause. Many of the forms now in vogue, in what is called
+fashionable society, are of this character. Under the circumstances
+which called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful;
+under changed circumstances they are simply absurd. There are other
+forms of observances over which time and place have no influence--which
+are always and everywhere binding.
+
+Politeness itself is always the same. The rules of etiquette, which
+are merely the forms in which it finds expression, vary with time and
+place. A sincere regard for the rights of others, in the smallest
+matters as well as the largest, genuine kindness of heart; good taste,
+and self-command, which are the foundations of good manners, are never
+out of fashion; and a person who possesses them can hardly be rude or
+discourteous, however far he may transgress conventional usages:
+lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules of
+etiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice to
+make one truly polite.
+
+"Politeness," says La Bruyère, "seems to be a certain care, by the
+manner of our words and actions, to make others pleased with us and
+themselves." This definition refers the matter directly to those
+qualities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations of
+good manners. To the same effect is the remark of Madame Celnart, that
+"the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is _to have
+an intention of always doing right_."
+
+Some persons have the "instinct of courtesy" so largely developed that
+they seem hardly to need culture at all. They are equal to any
+occasion, however novel. They never commit blunders, or if they do
+commit them, they seem not to be blunders in them. So there are those
+who sing, speak, or draw intuitively--by inspiration. The great
+majority of us, however, must be content to acquire these arts by
+study and practice. In the same way we must acquire the art of
+behavior, so far as behavior is an art. We must possess, in the first
+place, a sense of equity, good-will toward our fellow-men, kind
+feelings, magnanimity and self-control. Cultivation will do the rest.
+But we most never forget that manners as well as morals are founded on
+certain eternal principles, and that while "the _letter_ killeth,"
+"the _spirit_ giveth _life_."
+
+The account which Lord Chesterfield gives of the method by which he
+acquired the reputation of being the most polished man in England, is
+a strong example of the efficacy of practice, in view of which no one
+need despair. He was naturally singularly deficient in that grace
+which afterward so distinguished him. "I had a strong desire," he
+says, "to please, and was sensible that I had nothing but the desire.
+I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means too. I studied
+attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the address,
+and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please. I imitated
+them as well as I could: if I heard that one man was reckoned
+remarkably genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions, and
+attitudes, and formed my own upon them. When I heard of another whose
+conversation was agreeable and engaging I listened and attended to the
+turn of it. I addressed myself, though _de très mauvaise grâce_ [with
+a very bad grace], to all the most fashionable fine ladies; confessed
+and laughed with them at my own awkwardness and rawness, recommending
+myself as an object for them to try their skill in forming."
+
+Lord Bacon says: "To attain good manners it almost sufficeth not to
+despise them, and that if a man labor too much to express them, he
+shall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected."
+
+To these testimonies we may add the observation of La Rochefoucauld,
+that "in manners there are no good copies, for besides that the copy
+is almost always clumsy or exaggerated, the air which is suited to one
+person sits ill upon another."
+
+The greater must have been the genius of Chesterfield which enabled
+him to make the graces of others his own, appropriating them only so
+far as they _fitted him_, instead of blindly and servilely imitating
+his models.
+
+C. P. Bronson truly says: "In politeness, as in every thing else
+connected with the formation of character, we are too apt to begin on
+the outside, instead of the inside; instead of beginning with the
+heart, and trusting to that to form the manners, many begin with the
+manners, and leave the heart to chance and influences. The golden rule
+contains the very life and soul of politeness: 'Do unto others as you
+would they should do unto you.' Unless children and youth are taught,
+by precept and example, to abhor what is selfish, and prefer another's
+pleasure and comfort to their own, their politeness will be entirely
+artificial, and used only when interest and policy dictate. True
+politeness is perfect freedom and ease, treating others just as you
+love to be treated. Nature is always graceful: affectation, with all
+her art, can never produce any thing half so pleasing. The very
+perfection of elegance is to imitate nature; how much better to have
+the reality than the imitation! Anxiety about the opinions of others
+fetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness; all would
+appear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess."
+
+A writer in _Life Illustrated_, to whose excellent observations on
+etiquette we shall have further occasion to refer, contends that the
+instinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the American people. "It
+is shown," he says, "in the civility which marks our intercourse with
+one another. It is shown in the deference which is universally paid to
+the presence of the gentler sex. It is shown in the excessive fear
+which prevails among us of offending public opinion. It is shown in
+the very extravagances of our costume and decoration, in our lavish
+expenditures upon house and equipage. It is shown in the avidity with
+which every new work is bought and read which pretends to lay down
+the laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be, _par
+excellence_, polite. It is shown in the fact, that, next to calling a
+man a liar, the most offensive and stinging of all possible
+expressions is, 'You are no gentleman!'"
+
+He claims that this is a national trait, and expresses the belief that
+every uncorrupt American man desires to be, and to be thought, a
+gentleman; that every uncorrupt American woman desires to be, and to
+be thought, a lady.
+
+"But," he adds, "the instinct of courtesy is not enough, nor is
+opportunity equivalent to possession. The truth is palpable, that our
+men are not all gentlemen, nor our women all ladies, nor our children
+all docile and obliging. In that small and insignificant circle which
+is called 'Society,' which, small and insignificant as it is, gives
+the tone to the manners of the nation, the chief efforts seem to be,
+to cleanse the outside of the platter, to conceal defects by gloss and
+glitter. Its theory of politeness and its maxims of behavior are drawn
+from a state of things so different from that which here prevails,
+that they produce in us little besides an exaggerated ungracefulness,
+a painful constraint, a complete artificiality of conduct and
+character. We are trying to shine in borrowed plumes. We would glisten
+with foreign varnish. To produce an _effect_ is our endeavor. We
+prefer to _act_, rather than _live_. The politeness which is based on
+sincerity, good-will, self-conquest, and a minute, habitual regard for
+the rights of others, is not, we fear, the politeness which finds
+favor in the saloons upon which the upholsterer has exhausted the
+resources of his craft. Yet without possessing, in a certain degree,
+the qualities we have named, no man ever did, and no man ever will,
+become a gentleman. Where they do not bear sway, society may be
+brilliant in garniture, high in pretension, but it is intrinsically
+and incurably _vulgar_!"
+
+The utility of good manners is universally acknowledged perhaps, but
+the extent to which genuine courtesy may be made to contribute to our
+success as well as our happiness is hardly realized. We can not more
+satisfactorily illustrate this point than by quoting the following
+lesson of experience from the Autobiography of the late Dr. Caldwell,
+the celebrated physician and phrenologist:
+
+"In the year 1825 I made, in London, in a spirit of wager, a decisive
+and satisfactory experiment as to the effect of civil and courteous
+manners on people of various ranks and descriptions.
+
+"There were in a place a number of young Americans, who often
+complained to me of the neglect and rudeness experienced by them from
+citizens to whom they spoke in the streets. They asserted, in
+particular, that as often as they requested directions to any point in
+the city toward which they were proceeding, they either received an
+uncivil and evasive answer, or none at all. I told them that my
+experience on the same subject had been exceedingly different: that I
+had never failed to receive a civil reply to my questions--often
+communicating the information requested: and that I could not help
+suspecting that their failure to receive similar answers arose, in
+part at least, if not entirely, to the plainness, not to say the
+bluntness, of their manner in making their inquiries. The correctness
+of this charge, however, they sturdily denied, asserting that their
+manner of asking for information was good enough for those to whom
+they addressed themselves. Unable to convince them by words of the
+truth of my suspicions, I proposed to them the following simple and
+conclusive experiment:
+
+"'Let us take together a walk of two or three hours in some of the
+public streets of the city. You shall yourselves designate the persons
+to whom I shall propose questions, and the subjects also to which the
+question shall relate; and the only restriction imposed is, that no
+question shall be proposed to any one who shall appear to be greatly
+hurried, agitated, distressed, or any other way deeply preoccupied, in
+mind or body, and no one shall speak to the person questioned but
+myself.'
+
+"My proposition being accepted, out we sallied, and to work we went;
+and I continued my experiment until my young friends surrendered at
+discretion, frankly acknowledging that my opinion was right, and
+theirs, of course was wrong; and that, in our passage through life,
+courtesy of address and deportment may be made both a pleasant and
+powerful means to attain our ends and gratify our wishes.
+
+"I put questions to more than twenty persons of every rank, from the
+high-bred gentleman to the servant in livery, and received in every
+instance a satisfactory reply. If the information asked for was not
+imparted, the individual addressed gave an assurance of his at being
+unable to communicate it.
+
+"What seemed to surprise my friends was, that the individuals accosted
+by me almost uniformly imitated my own manner. If I uncovered my head,
+as I did in speaking to a gentleman, or even to a man of ordinary
+appearance and breeding, he did the same in his reply; and when I
+touched my hat to a liveried coachman or waiting man, his hat was
+immediately under his arm. So much may be done, and such advantages
+gained, by simply avoiding coarseness and vulgarity, and being well
+bred and agreeable. Nor can the case be otherwise. For the foundation
+of good breeding is good nature and good sense--two of the most useful
+and indispensable attributes of a well-constituted mind. Let it not be
+forgotten, however, that good breeding is not to be regarded as
+identical with politeness--a mistake which is too frequently, if not
+generally, committed. A person may be exceedingly polite without the
+much higher and more valuable accomplishment of good breeding."
+
+Believing that the natural qualities essential to the character of the
+gentleman or the lady exist in a high degree among our countrymen and
+countrywomen, and that they universally desire to develop these
+qualities, and to add to them the necessary knowledge of all the truly
+significant and living forms and usages of good society, we have
+written the work now before you. We have not the vanity to believe
+that the mere reading of it will, of itself, convert an essentially
+vulgar person into a lady or a gentleman; but we do hope that we have
+furnished those who most need it with available and efficient aid; and
+in this hope we dedicate this little "Manual of Republican Etiquette"
+to all who are, or would be, in the highest sense of these terms,
+
+TRUE REPUBLICAN LADIES OR GENTLEMEN
+
+
+
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+PERSONAL HABITS.
+
+     Attention to the person is the first necessity of good
+     manners.--_Anon._
+
+
+I.--WHERE TO COMMENCE.
+
+If you wish to commence aright the study of manners, you must make
+your own person the first lesson. If you neglect this you will apply
+yourself to those which follow with very little profit. Omit,
+therefore, any other chapter in the book rather than this.
+
+The proper care and adornment of the person is a social as well as an
+individual duty. You have a right to go about with unwashed hands and
+face, and to wear soiled and untidy garments, perhaps, but you have no
+right to offend the senses of others by displaying such hands, face,
+and garments in society. Other people have rights as well as yourself,
+and no right of yours can extend so far as to infringe theirs.
+
+But we may safely assume that no reader of these pages wishes to
+render himself disgusting or even disagreeable or to cut himself off
+from the society of his fellow-men. We address those who seek social
+intercourse and desire to please. _They_ will not think our words
+amiss, even though they may seem rather "personal;" since we have
+their highest good in view, and speak in the most friendly spirit.
+Those who do not need our hints and suggestions under this head, and
+to whom none of our remarks may apply, will certainly have the
+courtesy to excuse them for the sake of those to whom they will be
+useful.
+
+
+II.--CLEANLINESS.
+
+"Cleanliness is akin to godliness," it is said. It is not less closely
+related to gentility. First of all, then, keep yourself scrupulously
+clean--not your hands and face merely, but your whole person, from the
+crown of your head to the sole of your foot. Silk stockings may hide
+dirty feet and ankles from the eye, but they often reveal themselves
+to another sense, when the possessor little dreams of such an
+exposure. It is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and be
+strictly clean, than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richest
+clothing. A coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar,
+but dirt is essentially so. We do not here refer, of course, to one's
+condition while engaged in his or her industrial occupation. Soiled
+hands and even a begrimed face are badges of honor in the field, the
+workshop, or the kitchen, but in a country in which soap and water
+abound, there is no excuse for carrying them into the parlor or the
+dining-room.
+
+A clean skin is as essential to health, beauty, and personal comfort
+as it is to decency; and without health and that perfect freedom from
+physical disquiet which comes only from the normal action of all the
+functions of the bodily organs, your behavior can never be
+satisfactory to yourself or agreeable to others. Let us urge you,
+then, to give this matter your first attention.
+
+
+1. _The Daily Bath._
+
+To keep clean you must bathe frequently. In the first place you should
+wash the whole body with pure soft water every morning on rising from
+your bed, rubbing it till dry with a coarse towel, and afterward using
+friction with the hands. If you have not been at all accustomed to
+cold bathing, commence with tepid water, lowering the temperature by
+degrees till that which is perfectly cold becomes agreeable. In warm
+weather, comfort and cleanliness alike require still more frequent
+bathing. Mohammed made frequent ablutions a religious duty; and in
+that he was right. The rank and fetid odors which exhale from a foul
+skin can hardly be neutralized by the sweetest incense of devotion.
+
+
+2. _Soap and Water._
+
+But the daily bath of which we have spoken is not sufficient. In
+addition to the pores from which exudes the watery fluid called
+perspiration, the skin is furnished with innumerable minute openings,
+known as the sebaceous follicles, which pour over its surface a thin
+limpid oil anointing it and rendering it soft and supple; but also
+causing the dust as well as the effete matter thrown out by the pores
+to adhere, and, if allowed to accumulate, finally obstructing its
+functions and causing disease. It also, especially in warm weather,
+emits an exceedingly disagreeable odor. Pure cold water will not
+wholly remove these oily accumulations. The occasional use of soap and
+warm or tepid water is therefore necessary; but all washings with
+soapy or warm water should be followed by a thorough rinsing with pure
+cold water. Use good, fine soap. The common coarser kinds are
+generally too strongly alkaline and have an unpleasant effect upon the
+skin.
+
+
+3. _The Feet._
+
+The feet are particularly liable to become offensively odoriferous,
+especially when the perspiration is profuse. Frequent washings with
+cold water, with the occasional use of warm water and soap, are
+absolutely necessary to cleanliness.
+
+
+4. _Change of Linen._
+
+A frequent change of linen is another essential of cleanliness. It
+avails little to wash the body if we inclose it the next minute in
+soiled garments. It is not in the power of every one to wear fine and
+elegant clothes, but we can all, under ordinary circumstances, afford
+clean shirts, drawers, and stockings. Never sleep in any garment worn
+during the day; and your night-dress should be well aired every
+morning.
+
+
+5. _The Nails._
+
+You will not, of course, go into company, or sit down to the table,
+with soiled hands, but unless you habituate yourself to a special care
+of them, more or less dirt will be found lodged under the nails. Clean
+them carefully every time you wash your hands, and keep them smoothly
+and evenly cut. If you allow them to get too long they are liable to
+be broken off, and become uneven and ragged, and if you pare them too
+closely they fail to protect the ends of the fingers.
+
+
+6. _The Head._
+
+The head is more neglected, perhaps, than any other part of the body.
+The results are not less disastrous here than elsewhere. Dandruff
+forms, dust accumulates, the scalp becomes diseased, the hair grows
+dry, and falls off and if the evil be not remedied, premature baldness
+ensues. The head should be thoroughly washed as often as cleanliness
+demands. This will not injure the hair, as many suppose, but, on the
+contrary, will promote its growth and add to its beauty. If soap is
+used, however, it should be carefully rinsed off. If the hair is
+carefully and _thoroughly_ brushed every morning, it will not require
+very frequent washings. If the scalp be kept in a healthy condition
+the hair will be moist, glossy, and luxuriant, and no oil or hair wash
+will be required; and these preparations generally do more harm than
+good. Night-caps are most unwholesome and uncleanly contrivances, and
+should be discarded altogether. They keep the head unnaturally warm,
+shut out the fresh air, and shut in those natural exhalations which
+should be allowed to pass off, and thus weaken the hair and render it
+more liable to fall off. Ladies may keep their hair properly together
+during repose by wearing a _net_ over it.
+
+
+7. _The Teeth._
+
+Do not forget the teeth. Cleanliness, health, a pure breath, and the
+integrity and durability of those organs require that they be
+thoroughly and effectually scoured with the tooth-brush dipped in soft
+water, with the addition of a little soap, if necessary, every
+morning. Brush them outside and inside, and in every possible
+direction. You can not be too careful in this matter. After brushing
+rinse your mouth with cold water. A slighter brushing should be given
+them after each meal. Use an ivory tooth-pick or a quill to remove any
+particles of food that may be lodged between the teeth.
+
+There are, no doubt, original differences in teeth, as in other parts
+of the human system, some being more liable to decay than others; but
+the simple means we have pointed out, if adopted in season and
+perseveringly applied, will preserve almost any teeth, in all their
+usefulness and reality, till old age. If yours have been neglected,
+and some of them are already decayed, hasten to preserve the
+remainder. While you have _any_ teeth left, it is never too late to
+begin to take care of them; and if you have children, do not, we
+entreat you, neglect _their_ teeth. If the first or temporary teeth
+are cared for and preserved, they will be mainly absorbed by the
+second or permanent ones, and will drop out of themselves. The others,
+in that case, will come out regular and even.
+
+Beware of the teeth-powders, teeth-washes, and the like, advertised in
+the papers. They are often even more destructive to the teeth than the
+substances they are intended to remove. If any teeth-powder is
+required, pure powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure;
+but if the teeth are kept clean, in the way we have directed, there
+will be little occasion for any other dentrifices than pure water and
+a little soap. Your tooth-brushes should be rather soft; those which
+are too hard injuring both the teeth and the gums.
+
+
+8. _The Breath._
+
+A bad breath arises more frequently than otherwise from neglected and
+decayed teeth. If it is occasioned by a foul stomach, a pure diet,
+bathing, water injections, and a general attention to the laws of
+health are required for its removal.
+
+
+III.--EATING AND DRINKING.
+
+Whatever has a bearing upon health has at least an indirect connection
+with manners; the reader will therefore excuse us for introducing here
+a few remarks which may seem, at the first glance, rather irrelevant.
+Sound lungs, a healthy liver, and a good digestion are as essential to
+the right performance of our social duties as they are to our own
+personal comfort; therefore a few words on eating and drinking, as
+affecting these, will not be out of place.
+
+
+1. _What to Eat._
+
+An unperverted appetite is the highest authority in matters of diet.
+In fact, its decisions should be considered final, and without the
+privilege of appeal. Nature makes no mistakes.
+
+The plant selects from the soil which its roots permeate, the chemical
+elements necessary to its growth and perfect development, rejecting
+with unerring certainty every particle which would prove harmful or
+useless. The wild animal chooses with equal certainty the various
+kinds of food adapted to the wants of its nature, never poisoning
+itself by eating or drinking any thing inimical to its life and
+health. The sense of taste and the wants of the system act in perfect
+harmony. So it should be with man. That which most perfectly gratifies
+the appetite should be the best adapted to promote health, strength,
+and beauty.
+
+But appetite, like all the other instincts or feelings of our nature,
+is liable to become perverted, and to lead us astray. We acquire a
+relish for substances which are highly hurtful, such as tobacco,
+ardent spirits, malt liquors, and the like. We have "sought out many
+inventions," to pander to false and fatal tastes, and too often eat,
+not to sustain life and promote the harmonious development of the
+system, but to poison the very fountains of our being and implant in
+our blood the seeds of disease.
+
+Attend to the demands of appetite, but use all your judgment in
+determining whether it is a natural, undepraved craving of the system
+which speaks, or an acquired and vicious taste, and give or withhold
+accordingly; and, above all, never eat when you have _no appetite_.
+Want of appetite is equivalent to the most authoritative command to
+_eat nothing_, and we disregard it at our peril. Food, no matter how
+wholesome, taken into our stomachs under such circumstances, instead
+of being digested and appropriated, becomes rank poison. _Eating
+without appetite is one of the most fatal of common errors._
+
+We have no room, even if we had the ability and the desire, to discuss
+the comparative merits of the two opposing systems of diet--the
+vegetarian and the mixed. We shall consider the question of
+flesh-eating an open one.
+
+Your food should be adapted to the climate, season, and your
+occupation. In the winter and in northern climates a larger proportion
+of the fatty or carboniferous elements are required than in summer and
+in southern latitudes. The Esquimaux, in his snow-built hut, swallows
+immense quantities of train-oil, without getting the dyspepsia; still,
+we do not recommend train-oil as an article of diet; neither can we
+indorse the eating of pork in any form; but these things are far less
+hurtful in winter than in summer, and to those who labor in the open
+air than to the sedentary.
+
+Live well. A generous diet promotes vitality and capability for
+action. "Good cheer is friendly to health." But do not confound a
+generous diet with what is usually called "rich" food. Let all your
+dishes be nutritious, but plain, simple, and wholesome. Avoid highly
+seasoned viands and very greasy food at all times, but particularly in
+warm weather, also too much nutriment in the highly condensed forms of
+sugar, syrup, honey, and the like.
+
+If you eat flesh, partake sparingly of it especially in summer. We
+Americans are the greatest flesh-eaters in the world, and it is not
+unreasonable to believe that there may be some connection between this
+fact and the equally notorious one that we are the most unhealthy
+people in the world. An untold amount of disease results from the too
+free use of flesh during the hot months. Heat promotes putrefaction;
+and as this change in meat is very rapid in warm weather, we can not
+be too careful not to eat that which is in the slightest degree
+tainted. Even when it goes into the stomach in a normal condition,
+there is danger; for if too much is eaten, or the digestive organs are
+not sufficiently strong and active, the process of putrefaction may
+commence in the stomach and diffuse a subtle poison through the whole
+system.
+
+_Hot_ biscuits; _hot_ griddle cakes, saturated with butter and
+Stuart's syrup; and _hot_ coffee, scarcely modified at all by the
+small quantity of milk usually added, are among the most deleterious
+articles ever put upon a table. While these continue to be the staples
+of our breakfasts, healthy stomachs and clear complexions will be rare
+among us. Never eat or drink _any thing_ HOT.
+
+Good bread is an unexceptionable article of diet. The best is made of
+unbolted wheat flour. A mixture of wheat and rye flour, or of corn
+meal with either, makes excellent bread. The meal and flour should be
+freshly ground; they deteriorate by being kept long. If raised or
+fermented bread is required, hop yeast is the best ferment that can be
+used. [For complete directions for bread-making, see Dr. Trall's
+"Hydropathic Cook-Book."]
+
+The exclusive use of fine or bolted flour for bread, biscuits, and
+cakes of all kinds, is exceedingly injurious to health. The _lignin_
+or woody fiber which forms the bran of grains is just as essential to
+a perfect and healthful nutrition as are starch, sugar, gum, and
+fibrin, and the rejection of this element is one of the most
+mischievous errors of modern cookery.
+
+Johnny-cake, or corn bread, is an excellent article, which is not yet
+fully appreciated. It is palatable and wholesome. Hominy, samp,
+cracked wheat, oatmeal mush, and boiled rice should have a high place
+on your list of edibles. Beans and peas should be more generally eaten
+than they are. They are exceedingly nutritious, and very palatable. In
+New England, "pork and beans" hold the place of honor, but elsewhere
+in this country they are almost unknown. Leaving out the pork (which,
+personally, we hold in more than Jewish abhorrence), nothing can be
+better, provided they are eaten in moderation and with a proper
+proportion of less nutritious food. They should be well baked in pure,
+soft water. A sufficient quantity of salt to season them, with the
+addition of a little sweet milk, cream, or butter while baking, leaves
+nothing to be desired. If meat is wanted, however, a slice of
+beefsteak, laid upon the surface, will serve a better purpose than
+pork. Potatoes, beets, turnips, carrots, parsneps, and cabbages are
+good in their place.
+
+But Nature indicates very plainly that fruits and berries, in their
+season, should have a prominent place in our dietary. They are
+produced in abundance, and every healthy stomach instinctively craves
+them. Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, whortleberries,
+cherries, plums, grapes, figs, apples, pears, peaches, and melons are
+"food fit for gods." We pity those whose perverted taste or digestion
+leads to their rejection. But some are _afraid_ to eat fruits and
+berries, particularly in midsummer, just the time when nature and
+common sense say they should be eaten most freely. They have the fear
+of cholera, dysentery, and similar diseases before their eyes, and
+have adopted the popular but absurd idea that fruit eating predisposes
+to disorders of the stomach and bowels. Exactly the reverse is the
+fact. There are no better preventives of such diseases than _ripe_
+fruits and berries, eaten in proper quantities and at proper times
+Unripe fruits should be scrupulously avoided, and that which is in any
+measure decayed as scarcely less objectionable. Fruit and berries
+should make a part of every meal in summer. In winter they are less
+necessary, but may be eaten with advantage, if within our reach; and
+they are easily preserved in various ways.
+
+We might write a volume on the subject of food, but these general
+hints must suffice. If you would pursue the inquiry, read O. S.
+Fowler's "Physiology, Animal and Mental," and the "Hydropathic
+Cook-Book," already referred to.
+
+
+2. _When to Eat._
+
+Eat when the stomach, through the instinct of appetite, demands a new
+supply of food. If all your habits are regular, this will be at about
+the same hours each day; and regularity in the time of taking our
+meals is very important. Want of attention to this point is a frequent
+cause of derangement of the digestive organs. We can not stop to
+discuss the question how many meals per day we should eat; but whether
+you eat one, two, or three, never, under ordinary circumstances, take
+lunches. The habit of eating between meals is a most pernicious one.
+Not even your children must be indulged in it, as you value their
+health, comfort, and good behavior.
+
+
+3. _How Much to Eat._
+
+We can not tell you, by weight or measure, how much to eat, the right
+quantity depending much upon age, sex, occupation, season, and
+climate, but the quantity is quite as important as the quality.
+Appetite would be a sure guide in both respects were it not so often
+perverted and diseased. As a general rule, we eat too much. It is
+better to err in the other direction. An uncomfortable feeling of
+fullness, or of dullness and stupor after a meal is a sure sign of
+over-eating, so whatever and whenever you eat, _eat slowly, masticate
+your food well_, and DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH.
+
+
+4. _Drink._
+
+If we eat proper food, and in proper quantity, we are seldom thirsty.
+Inordinate thirst indicates a feverish state of either the stomach or
+the general system. It is pretty sure to follow a too hearty meal.
+
+Water is the proper drink for everybody and for every thing that lives
+or grows. It should be pure and soft. Many diseases arise wholly from
+the use of unwholesome water. If you drink tea (which we do not
+recommend), let it be the best of black tea, and _not_ strong. Coffee,
+if drunk at all, should be diluted with twice its quantity of boiled
+milk, and well sweetened with white sugar.
+
+
+IV.--BREATHING.
+
+Breathing is as necessary as eating. If we cease to breathe, our
+bodies cease to live. If we only _half_ breathe, as is often the case,
+we only half live. The human system requires a constant supply of
+oxygen to keep up the vital processes which closely resemble
+combustion, of which oxygen is the prime supporter. If the supply is
+insufficient, the fire of life wanes. The healthy condition of the
+lungs also requires that they be completely expanded by the air
+inhaled. The imperfect breathing of many persons fails to accomplish
+the required inflation, and the lungs become diseased for want of
+their natural action. Full, deep breathing and pure air are as
+essential to health, happiness, and the right performance of our
+duties, whether individual, political, or social, as pure food and
+temperate habits of eating and drinking are. Attend, then, to the
+lungs as well as the stomach. Breathe good air. Have all your rooms,
+and especially your sleeping apartment well ventilated. The air which
+has been vitiated by breathing or by the action of fire, which
+abstracts the oxygen and supplies its place with carbonic acid gas, is
+a _subtle poison_.
+
+
+V.--EXERCISE.
+
+The amount of physical exercise required varies with age, sex, and
+temperament; but no person can enjoy vigorous health without a
+considerable degree of active bodily exertion. Four or five hours per
+day spent in the open air, in some labor or amusement which calls for
+the exercise of the muscles of the body, is probably no more than a
+proper average. We can live with less--that is, for a short time; but
+Nature's laws are inexorable, and we can not escape the penalty
+affixed to their violation. Those whose occupations are sedentary
+should seek amusements which require the exertion of the physical
+powers, and should spend as much as possible of their leisure time in
+the open air. We must, however, use good judgment in this matter as
+well as in eating. Too much exercise at once, or that which is fitful
+and violent, is often exceedingly injurious to those whose occupations
+have accustomed them to little physical exertion of any kind.
+
+The women of our country are suffering incalculably for want of proper
+exercise. No other single cause perhaps is doing so much to destroy
+health and beauty, and deteriorate the race, as this. "Your women are
+very handsome," Frederika Bremer said, one day, "but they are too
+white; they look as if they grew in the shade." A sad truth. Ladies,
+if you would be healthy, beautiful, and attractive--if you would fit
+yourselves to be good wives, and the mothers of strong and noble men,
+you _must_ take an adequate amount of exercise in the open air. _This
+should be an every-day duty._
+
+
+VI.--THE COMPLEXION.
+
+Every person, and especially every lady, desires a clear complexion.
+To secure this, follow the foregoing directions in reference to
+cleanliness, eating, drinking, breathing, and exercise. The same
+recipe serves for ruby lips and rosy cheeks. These come and go with
+health, and health depends upon obedience to the laws of our
+constitution.
+
+
+VII.--GENERAL HINTS.
+
+Few of us are free from disagreeable habits of which we are hardly
+conscious, so seemingly natural have they become to us. It is the
+office of friendship, though not always a pleasant one, to point them
+out. It is our business to assume that office here, finding our excuse
+in the necessity of the case. Our bad habits not only injure
+ourselves, but they give offense to others, and indirectly injure them
+also.
+
+
+1. _Tobacco._
+
+Ladies, in this country, do not use tobacco, so they may skip this
+section. A large and increasing number of gentlemen may do the same;
+but if you use tobacco, in any forth, allow us to whisper a useful
+hint or two in your ear.
+
+Smoking, snuff-taking, and especially chewing, are bad habits at best,
+and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refined
+people, and especially to ladies. You have the same right to smoke,
+take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a
+filthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in either
+case, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people
+by their exhibition in society. Smoke if you will, chew, take snuff
+(against our earnest advice, however), make yourself generally and
+particularly disagreeable, but you must suffer the consequences--the
+social outlawry which must result. Shall we convert our parlors into
+tobacco shops, risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from the
+random shots of your disgusting saliva, and fill the whole atmosphere
+of our house with a pungent stench, to the discomfort and disgust of
+everybody else, merely for the pleasure of your company? We have
+rights as well as you, one of which is to exclude from our circle all
+persons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us. You talk of
+rights. You can not blame others for exercising theirs.
+
+There are degrees here as everywhere else. One may chew a _little_,
+smoke an _occasional_ cigar, and take a pinch of snuff _now_ and
+_then_, and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence of
+others, and is very careful to purify his person before going into
+company, he may confine the bad effects, which he can not escape,
+_mostly_ to his own person. But he must not smoke in any parlor, or
+sitting-room, or dining-room, or sleeping chamber, or in the street,
+and particularly not in the presence of ladies, _anywhere_.
+
+
+2. _Spitting._
+
+"The use of tobacco has made us a nation of spitters," as some one has
+truly remarked. Spitting is a private act, and tobacco users are not
+alone in violating good taste and good manners by hawking and spitting
+in company. You should never be seen to spit. Use your handkerchief
+carefully and so as not to be noticed, or, in case of necessity, leave
+the room.
+
+
+3. _Gin and Gentility._
+
+The spirit and tenor of our remarks on tobacco will apply to the use
+of ardent spirits. The fumes of gin, whisky, and rum are, if possible,
+worse than the scent of tobacco. They must on no account be brought
+into company. If a man (this is another section which women may skip)
+will make a beast of himself, and fill his blood with liquid poison,
+he must, if he desires admission into good company, do it either
+privately or with companions whose senses and appetites are as
+depraved as his own.
+
+
+4. _Onions, etc._
+
+All foods or drinks which taint the breath or cause disagreeable
+eructations should be avoided by persons going into company. Onions
+emit so very disagreeable an odor that no truly polite person will eat
+them when liable to inflict their fumes upon others. Particular care
+should be taken to guard against a bad breath from _any_ cause.
+
+
+5. _Several Items._
+
+Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or
+perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. All
+these things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your
+own room. To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the head or any
+part of the person in company is still worse. Watch yourself
+carefully, and if you have any such habits, break them up at once.
+These may seem little things, but they have their weight, and go far
+in determining the character of the impression we make upon those
+around us.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+DRESS.
+
+    From little matters let us pass to less,
+    And lightly touch the mysteries of dress;
+    The outward forms the inner man reveal;
+    We guess the pulp before we eat the peel.--_O. W. Holmes._
+
+
+I.--THE LANGUAGE OF DRESS.
+
+Dress has its language, which is, or may be, read and understood by
+all. It is one of the forms in which we naturally give expression to
+our tastes, our constructive faculties, our reason, our feelings, our
+habits--in a word, to our character, as a whole. This expression is
+often greatly modified by the arbitrary laws of Fashion, and by
+circumstances of time, place, and condition, which we can not wholly
+control; but can hardly be entirely falsified. Even that arch tyrant,
+the reigning _Mode_, whatever it may be, leaves us little room for
+choice in materials, forms, and colors, and the choice we make
+indicates our prominent traits of character.
+
+
+II.--THE USES OF DRESS.
+
+"Dress," that admirable Art Journal the _Crayon_ says, "has two
+functions--to clothe and to ornament; and while we can not lose sight
+of either point, we must not attribute to the one a power which
+belongs to the other. The essential requirement of dress is to cover
+and make comfortable the body, and of two forms of dress which fulfill
+this function equally well, that is the better which is most accordant
+with the laws of beauty. But fitness must in nowise be interfered
+with; and the garb which infringes on this law gives us pain rather
+than pleasure. We believe that it will be found that fitness and
+beauty, so far from requiring any sacrifice for combination, are found
+each in the highest degree where both are most fully obtained--that
+the fittest, most comfortable dress is that which is most graceful or
+becoming. Fitness is the primary demand; and _the dress that appears
+uncomfortable is untasteful_.
+
+"But in the secondary function of dress, ornamentation, there are
+several diverse objects to be attained--dignity, grace, vivacity,
+brilliancy, are qualities distinguishing different individuals, and
+indicating the impression they wish to make on society, and are
+expressed by different combinations of the elements of beauty, line,
+or form, and color. When the appareling of the outer being is in most
+complete harmony with the mental constitution, the taste is fullest."
+
+
+III.--THE ART OF DRESS.
+
+True art adapts dress to its uses, as indicated in the foregoing
+extract. It is based on universal principles fundamental to all art.
+
+The art-writer already quoted says, very truly, that "Dress is always
+to be considered as secondary to the person." This is a fundamental
+maxim in the art of costume, but is often lost sight of, and dress
+made _obtrusive_ at the expense of the individuality of the wearer. A
+man's vest or cravat must not seem a too important part of him. Dress
+may heighten beauty, but it can not create it. If you are not better
+and more beautiful than your clothes you are, indeed, a man or a woman
+of straw.
+
+The next principle to be regarded is the _fitness_ of your costume, in
+its forms materials, and colors, to your person and circumstances, and
+to the conditions of the time, place and occasion on which it is to be
+worn. Fashion often compels us to violate this principle, and dress
+in the most absurd, incongruous, unbecoming, and uncomfortable style.
+A little more self-respect and independence, however, would enable us
+to resist many of her most preposterous enactments. But Fashion is not
+responsible for all the incongruities in dress with which we meet.
+They are often the result of bad taste and affectation.
+
+The first demand of this law of fitness is, that your costume shall
+accord with your person. The young and the old, we all instinctively
+know, should not dress alike. Neither should the tall and the short,
+the dark and the light, the pale and the rosy, the grave and the gay,
+the tranquil and the vivacious. Each variety of form, color, and
+character has its appropriate style; but our space here is too limited
+to allow us to do more than drop a hint toward what each requires, to
+produce the most harmonious and effective combination. In another
+work,[A] now in the course of preparation, this important subject will
+be treated in detail.
+
+"In form, simplicity and long, unbroken lines give dignity, while
+complicated and short lines express vivacity. Curves, particularly if
+long and sweeping, give grace while straight lines and angles indicate
+power and strength. In color, unity of tint gives repose--if somber,
+gravity but if light and clear, then a joyous serenity--variety of
+tint giving vivacity, and if contrasted, brilliancy."
+
+Longitudinal stripes in a lady's dress make her appear taller than she
+really is, and are therefore appropriate for persons of short stature.
+Tall women, for this reason, should never wear them. Flounces are
+becoming to tall persons, but not to short ones. The colors worn
+should be determined by the complexion, and should harmonize with it.
+"Ladies with delicate rosy complexions bear white and blue better than
+dark colors, while sallow hues of complexion will not bear these
+colors near them, and require dark, quiet, or grave colors to improve
+their appearance. Yellow is the most trying and dangerous of all, and
+can only be worn by the rich-toned, healthy-looking brunette."
+
+In the second place, there should be harmony between your dress and
+your circumstances. It should accord with your means, your house, your
+furniture, the place in which you reside, and the society in which you
+move.
+
+Thirdly, your costume should be suited to the time, place, and
+occasion on which it is to be worn. That summer clothes should not be
+worn in winter, or winter clothes in summer, every one sees clearly
+enough. The law of fitness as imperatively demands that you should
+have one dress for the kitchen, the field, or the workshop, and
+another, and quite a different one, for the parlor; one for the street
+and another for the carriage, one for a ride on horseback and another
+for a ramble in the country. Long, flowing, and even trailing skirts
+are beautiful and appropriate in the parlor, but in the muddy streets,
+draggling in the filth, and embarrassing every movement of the wearer,
+or in the country among the bushes and briers, they lose all their
+beauty and grace, because no longer fitting. The prettiest costume we
+have ever seen for a shopping excursion or a walk in the city, and
+especially for a ramble in the country, is a short dress or frock
+reaching to the knee, and trowsers of the common pantaloon form, but
+somewhat wider. Full Turkish trowsers might be worn with this dress,
+but are less convenient. The waist or body of the dress is made with a
+yoke and belt, and pretty full. The sleeves should be gathered into a
+band and buttoned at the wrist. A _saque_ or a _basque_ of a different
+color from the waist has a fine effect as a part of this costume. Add
+to it a gipsy hat and good substantial shoes or boots, and you may
+walk with ease, grace, and pleasure. This was the working and walking
+costume of the women of the North American Phalanx, and is still worn
+on the domain which once belonged to that Association, though the
+institution which gave it its origin has ceased to exist. If you
+reside in a place where you can adopt this as your industrial and
+walking costume, without too much notoriety and odium, try it. You
+must judge of this for yourself. We are telling you what is fitting,
+comfortable, and healthful, and therefore, in its place, beautiful,
+and not what it is expedient for you to wear. The time is coming when
+such a costume may be worn anywhere. Rational independence, good
+taste, and the study of art are preparing the way for the complete
+overthrow of arbitrary fashion. Help us to hasten the time when both
+women and men shall be permitted to dress as the eternal principles,
+harmony, and beauty dictate, and be no longer the slaves of the tailor
+and the dressmaker.
+
+But without adopting any innovations liable to shock staid
+conservatism or puritanic prudery, you may still, in a good measure,
+avoid the incongruities which we are now compelled to witness, and
+make your costume accord with place and occupation.
+
+In the field, garden, and workshop, gentlemen can wear nothing more
+comfortable and graceful than the blouse. It may be worn loose or
+confined by a belt. If your occupation is a very dusty one, wear
+overalls. In the counting-room and office, gentlemen wear frock-coats
+or sack coats. They need not be of very fine material, and should not
+be of any garish pattern. In your study or library, and about the
+house generally, on ordinary occasions, a handsome dressing-gown is
+comfortable and elegant.
+
+A lady, while performing the morning duties of her household may wear
+a plain loose dress, made high in the neck, and with long sleeves
+fastened at the wrist. It must not look slatternly, and may be
+exceedingly beautiful and becoming.
+
+In reference to ornament, "the law of dress," to quote our
+artist-friend again, "is, that where you want the eye of a spectator
+to rest (for we all dress for show), you should concentrate your
+decoration, leaving the parts of the apparel to which you do not want
+attention called, as plain and negative as possible--not ugly, as some
+people, in an affectation of plainness, do (for you have no right to
+offend the eye of your fellow-man with any thing which is ugly), but
+simply negative."
+
+
+IV.--MATERIALS, ETC.
+
+The materials of which your clothes are made should be the best that
+your means will allow. One generally exercises a very bad economy and
+worse taste in wearing low-priced and coarse materials. For your
+working costume, the materials should of course correspond with the
+usage to which they are to be subjected. They should be strong and
+durable, but need not therefore be either very coarse or at all ugly.
+As a general rule, it costs no more to dress well than ill.
+
+A gentleman's shirts should always be fine, clean, and well-fitted. It
+is better to wear a coarse or threadbare coat than a disreputable
+shirt. The better taste and finer instincts of the ladies will require
+no hint in reference to their "most intimate appareling." True taste,
+delicacy, and refinement regards the under clothing as scrupulously as
+that which is exposed to view.
+
+The coverings of the head and the feet are important and should by no
+means be inferior to the rest of your apparel. Shoes are better than
+boots, except in cases where the latter are required for the
+protection of the feet and ankles against water, snow, or injury from
+briers, brambles, and the like. Ladies' shoes for walking should be
+substantial enough to keep the feet dry and warm. If neatly made, and
+well-fitting, they need not be clumsy. Thin shoes, worn on the damp
+ground or pavement, have carried many a beautiful woman to her grave.
+If you wish to have corns and unshapely feet, wear tight shoes; they
+never fail to produce those results.
+
+The fashionable fur hat, in its innumerable but always ugly forms, is,
+in the eye of taste, an absurd and unsightly covering for the head;
+and it is hardly less uncomfortable and unhealthful than ugly. The
+fine, soft, and more picturesque felt hats now, we are glad to say,
+coming more and more into vogue, are far more comfortable and
+healthful. A light, fine straw hat is the best for summer.
+
+The bonnets of the ladies, in their fashionable forms, are only a
+little less ugly and unbecoming than the fur hats of the gentlemen. A
+broad-brimmed or gipsy hat is far more becoming to most women than the
+common bonnet. We hope to live to see both "stove-pipe hats" and
+"sugar-scoop bonnets" abolished; but, in the mean time let those wear
+them who _must_.
+
+
+V.--MRS. MANNERS ON DRESS.
+
+Mrs. Manners, the highest authority we can possibly quote in such
+matters, has the following hints to girls, which we can not deny
+ourselves the pleasure of copying, though they may seem, in part, a
+repetition of remarks already made:
+
+"Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness,
+is _all_ that is _necessary_--that is the fabled cestus of Venus which
+gave beauty to its wearer. Good taste involves _suitable fabrics--a
+neat and becoming 'fitting' to her figure--colors suited to her
+complexion, and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one's
+clothes_. A worsted dress in a warm day, or a white one in a cold day,
+or a light, thin one in a windy day, are all in _bad_ taste. Very fine
+or very delicate dresses worn in the street, or very highly ornamented
+clothes worn to church or to shop in, are in _bad_ taste. Very long
+dresses worn in muddy or dusty weather, even if long dresses are the
+_fashion_, are still in _bad_ taste.
+
+"Deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste; very few
+persons are careful enough in selecting gloves. Light shoes and dark
+dresses, white stockings and dark dresses, dark stockings and light
+dresses, are not indicative of good taste. A girl with neatly and
+properly dressed feet, with neat, well-fitting gloves, smoothly
+arranged hair, and a clean, well-made dress, who walks well, and
+speaks well, and, above all, acts politely and kindly, _is a lady_,
+and no _wealth_ is required here. Fine clothes and fine airs are
+abashed before such propriety and good taste. Thus the poorest may be
+so attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest; nothing is
+more _vulgar_ than the idea that money makes a lady, or that fine
+clothes can do it."
+
+
+VI.--WEARING THE HAIR AND BEARD.
+
+The hair and beard, in one of their aspects, belong to the dress. In
+reference to the style of wearing them, consult the general principles
+of taste. A man to whom nature has given a handsome beard, deforms
+himself sadly by shaving--at least, that is our opinion; and on this
+point fashion and good taste agree. The full beard is now more common
+than the shaven face in all our large cities.
+
+In the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a great
+deal of taste and judgment. The style should vary with the different
+forms of face. Lardner's "Young Ladies' Manual" has the following
+hints to the gentler sex. Gentlemen can modify them to suit their
+case:
+
+"After a few experiments, a lady may very easily decide what mode of
+dressing her hair, and what head-dress renders her face most
+attractive.
+
+"Ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one. On the
+other hand, the fashion of putting the hair smoothly, and drawing it
+back on either side, is becoming to few; it has a look of vanity
+instead of simplicity: the face must do every thing for it, which is
+asking too much, especially as hair, in its pure state, is the
+ornament intended for it by nature. Hair is to the human aspect what
+foliage is to the landscape.
+
+"Light hair is generally most becoming when curled. For a round face,
+the curls should be made in short, half ringlets, reaching a little
+below the ears. For an oval face, long and thick ringlets are
+suitable; but if the face be thin and sharp, the ringlets should be
+light, and not too long, nor too many in number.
+
+"When dark hair is curled, the ringlets should never fall in heavy
+masses upon the shoulders. Open braids are very beautiful when made of
+dark hair; they are also becoming to light-haired persons. A simple
+and graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locks
+behind the ears, permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringlets
+on either side behind.
+
+"Another beautiful mode of dressing the hair, and one very appropriate
+in damp weather, when it will keep in curl, is to loop up the ringlets
+with small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears,
+and pass a light band of braided hair over them.
+
+"Persons with very long, narrow heads may wear the hair knotted very
+low at the back of the neck. If the head be long, but not very narrow,
+the back hair may be drawn to one side, braided in a thick braid, and
+wound around the head. When the head is round, the hair should be
+formed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head. If the braid
+be made to resemble a basket, and a few curls permitted to fall from
+within it, the shape of the head is much improved."
+
+
+VII.--ART _VS._ FASHION.
+
+Observe that we have been laying down some of the maxims deduced from
+the principles of art and taste, in their application to dress, and
+not promulgating the edicts of Fashion. If there is a lack of harmony
+on some points, between the two, it is not our fault. We have
+endeavored to give you some useful hints in reference to the beautiful
+and the fitting in costume, based on a higher law than the enactments
+of the fashion-makers. You must judge for yourself how far you can
+make the latter bend to the former. We have been talking of dress as
+an individual matter. In future chapters we shall have occasion to
+refer to it in its relation to the usages of society.
+
+
+VIII.--SIGNS OF "THE GOOD TIME COMING."
+
+N. P. Willis, in the _Home Journal_, writing on the dress-reform
+agitation, thus closes his disquisition:
+
+"We repeat, that we see signs which look to us as if the present
+excitement as to _one_ fashion were turning into a universal inquiry
+as to the sense or propriety of _any fashion at all_. When the subject
+shall have been fully discussed, and public attention fully awakened,
+common sense will probably take the direction of the matter, and
+opinion will settle in some shape which, at least, may reject former
+excesses and absurdities. Some moderate similarity of dress is
+doubtless necessary, and there are proper times and places for long
+dresses and short dresses. These and other points the ladies are
+likely to come to new decisions about. While they consult health,
+cleanliness, and convenience, however, we venture to express a hope
+that they will _get rid of the present slavish uniformity_--that what
+is becoming to each may be worn without fear of unfashionableness, and
+that in this way we may see every woman dressed somewhat differently
+and to her own best advantage, and the _proportion of beauty largely
+increased_, as it would, thereby, most assuredly be."
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[A] "Hints toward Physical Perfection; or, How to Acquire and Retain
+Beauty, Grace, and Strength, and Secure Long Life and Perpetual
+Youth."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+SELF-CULTURE
+
+     There is no man who can so easily and so naturally become in
+     all points a Gentleman Knight, without fear and without
+     reproach, as a true American Republican.--_James Parton._
+
+
+I.-MORAL AND SOCIAL TRAINING.
+
+Having given due attention to your personal habits and dress, consider
+what special errors still remain to be corrected, or what deficiencies
+to be supplied, and carefully and perseveringly apply yourself to the
+required self-training.
+
+If you are sensible of an inadequate development of any of those
+faculties or feelings on which good manners are based, set yourself at
+once about the work of cultivation, remembering that the legitimate
+exercise of any organ or function necessarily tends to its
+development. Look first to conscientiousness. It is hardly possible
+for you to acquire genuine good manners without an acute sense of
+equity. Accustom yourself to a sacred regard for the rights of others,
+even in the minutest matters, and in the most familiar intercourse of
+the family or social circle. In a similar manner cultivate
+Benevolence, Veneration, Adhesiveness, Agreeableness, Ideality, and
+the moral, social, and esthetic faculties in general. Go out of your
+way, if necessary, to perform acts of kindness and friendship; never
+omit the "thank you" which is due for the slightest possible favor,
+whether rendered by the highest or the lowest; be always bland and
+genial; respect times, places, observances, and especially persons;
+and put yourself in the way of all possible elevating and refining
+influences. Manners have their origin in the mind and the heart.
+Manners do not make the man, as is sometimes asserted; but the man
+makes the manners. It is true, however, that the manners react upon
+mind and heart, continually developing and improving the qualities out
+of which they spring.
+
+You are placed in a particular community, or you are invited or wish
+to gain admittance into a certain circle. Different communities and
+circles require, to some extent, different qualifications. Ascertain
+what you lack and acquire it as speedily as possible; but remember
+that good sense and good nature are out of place in no company.
+
+
+II.--LANGUAGE.
+
+Conversation plays an important part in the intercourse of society. It
+is a great and valuable accomplishment to be able to talk well.
+Cultivate language and the voice. Learn to express yourself with
+correctness, ease, and elegance. This subject is worthy of all the
+time and study you can give to it. "How to Talk: a Pocket Manual of
+Conversation and Debate," which forms one of this series of
+"Hand-Books for Home Improvement," will give you all necessary aid in
+this department.
+
+
+III.--POSITION AND MOVEMENT.
+
+Study also the graces of manner, motion, and position. Grace is
+natural, no doubt, but most of us have nearly lost sight of nature. It
+is often with the greatest difficulty that we find our way back to her
+paths. It seems a simple and easy thing to walk, and a still easier
+and simpler thing to stand or sit, but not one in twenty perform
+either of these acts with ease and grace. There are a hundred little
+things connected with attitude, movement, the carriage of the arms,
+the position of the feet and the like, which, though seemingly
+unimportant are really essential to elegance and ease. Never despise
+these little things, or be ashamed to acquire the smallest grace by
+study and practice.
+
+You desire to be a person of "good standing" in society. How _do_ you
+stand? We refer now to the artistic or esthetic point of view. If you
+are awkward, you are more likely to manifest your awkwardness in
+standing than in walking. Do you know where to put your feet and what
+to do with your hands? In the absence of any better rule or example,
+try to forget your limbs, and let them take care of themselves. But
+observe the attitudes which sculptors give to their statues; and study
+also those of children, which are almost always graceful, because
+natural. Avoid, on the one hand, the stiffness of the soldier, and, on
+the other, the ape-like suppleness of the dancing-master; and let
+there be no straining, no fidgeting, no uneasy shifting of position.
+You should stand on _both_ feet, bearing a little more heavily on one
+than the other. The same general principles apply to the sitting
+posture. This may be either graceful, dignified, and elegant, or
+awkward, abject, and uncouth. The latter class of qualities may be got
+rid of and the former acquired, and depend upon it, it is a matter of
+some consequence which of them characterizes your position and
+movements. Walking is not so difficult an accomplishment as standing
+and sitting, but should receive due attention. It has a very close
+connection with character, and either of them may be improved or
+deteriorated through the other. A close observer and a sensible and
+trustworthy monitor of their own sex thus enumerates some of the
+common faults of women in their "carriage," or manner of walking:
+
+"Slovenliness in walking characterizes some. They go shuffling along,
+precisely as if their shoes were down at the heel--"slipshod"--and
+they could not lift up their feet in consequence. If it is dusty or
+sandy, they kick up the dust before them and fill their skirts with
+it. This is exceedingly ungraceful. If I were a gentleman, I really do
+not think I could marry a lady who walked like this; she would appear
+so very undignified, and I could not be proud of her.
+
+"Some have another awkwardness. They lift up their feet so high that
+their knees are sent out before them showing the movement through the
+dress. They always seem to be leaving their skirts behind them,
+instead of carrying them gracefully about them. Some saunter along so
+loosely they seem to be hung on wires; others are as stiff as if they
+supposed only straight lines were agreeable to the eye; and others,
+again, run the chin forward considerably in advance of the breast,
+looking very silly and deficient in self-respect.
+
+"Sometimes a lady walks so as to turn up her dress behind every time
+she puts her foot back, and I have seen a well-dressed woman made to
+look very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing her
+elbows too far behind her. Some hold their hands up to the waist, and
+press their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were glued
+there; others swing them backward and forward, as a business man walks
+along the street. _Too short_ steps detract from dignity very much,
+forming a mincing pace; too long steps are masculine.
+
+"Some walk upon the ball of the foot very flatly and clumsily; others
+come down upon the heel as though a young elephant was moving; and
+others, again, ruin their shoes and their appearance by walking upon
+the side of the foot. Many practice a stoop called the Grecian bend,
+and when they are thirty, will pass well, unless the face be seen, for
+fifty years' old."
+
+Gymnastics, dancing, and the military drill are excellent auxiliaries
+in the work of physical training, though all of them may be, and
+constantly are, abused. We can not illustrate their application here.
+They will receive the attention they deserve in "Hints toward Physical
+Perfection," already referred to as in preparation.
+
+
+IV.--SELF-COMMAND.
+
+Without perfect self-control you are constantly liable to do something
+amiss, and your other social qualifications will avail little. You
+must not only be fully conscious who you are, what you are, where you
+are, and what you are about, but you must also have an easy and
+complete control of all your words and actions, and feel _at home_
+wherever you are. You are liable to lose this self-command either
+through bashfulness or excitement. The former is one of the greatest
+obstacles with which a majority of young people have to contend. It
+can be overcome by _resolute effort_ and the cultivation of
+self-respect and self-reliance. Do not allow it to keep you out of
+society. You will not conquer it by such a course. You might as
+reasonably expect to learn to swim without going into the water.
+
+
+V.--OBSERVATION.
+
+One of the best means of improvement in manners is observation. In
+company, where you are in doubt in reference to any rule or form, be
+quiet and observe what others do, and govern your conduct by theirs;
+but except in mere external forms, beware of a servile imitation. Seek
+to understand the principles which underlie the observances you
+witness, and to become imbued with the spirit of the society (if good)
+in which you move, rather than to copy particulars in the manners of
+any one.
+
+
+VI.--PRACTICAL LESSONS.
+
+But the most important instrumentality for the promotion of the
+externals of good manners is constant practice in the actual every-day
+intercourse of society; and without this our instructions and your
+study will both be thrown away. Begin now, to-day, with the next
+person you meet or address.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.
+
+     Courtesy is the beautiful part of morality, justice carried to
+     the utmost, rectitude refined, magnanimity in trifles.--_Life
+     Illustrated._
+
+
+I.--MANNERS AND MORALS.
+
+Good manners and good morals are founded on the same eternal
+principles of right, and are only different expressions of the same
+great truths. Both grow out of the necessities of our existence and
+relations. We have individual rights based on the fact of our
+individual being; and we have social duties resulting from our
+connection, in the bonds of society, with other individuals who have
+similar rights. Morals and manners alike, while they justify us in
+asserting and maintaining our own rights, require us scrupulously to
+respect, in word and act, the rights of others. It is true that the
+former, in the common comprehension of the term, is satisfied with
+simple justice in all our relations, while the latter often requires
+something more than the strictest conscientiousness can demand--a
+yielding of more than half the road--an exercise of the sentiment of
+benevolence, as well as of equity; but the highest morality really
+makes the same requisition, for it includes politeness, and recognizes
+deeds of kindness as a duty.
+
+
+II.--RIGHTS.
+
+In this country we need no incitements to the assertion and
+maintenance of our rights, whether individual or national. We are
+ready at all times to do battle for them either with the tongue, the
+pen, or the sword, as the case may require. Even women have discovered
+that _they_ have rights, and he must be a bold man indeed who dares
+call them in question. Yes, we all, men, women, and children, have
+rights, and are forward enough in claiming then. Are we equally ready
+to respect the rights of others?
+
+
+III.--DUTIES.
+
+Out of rights grow duties; the first of which is to live an honest,
+truthful, self-loyal life, acting and speaking always and everywhere
+in accordance with the laws of our being, as revealed in our own
+physical and mental organization. It is by the light of this fact that
+we must look upon all social requirements, whether in dress, manners,
+or morals. All that is fundamental and genuine in these will be found
+to harmonize with universal principles, and consequently with our
+primary duty in reference to ourselves.
+
+
+1. _The Senses._
+
+Whenever and wherever we come in contact with our fellow-men, there
+arises a question of rights, and consequently of duties. We have
+alluded incidentally to some of them, in speaking of habits and dress.
+The senses of each individual have their rights, and it is your duty
+to respect them. The eye has a claim upon you for so much of beauty in
+form, color, arrangement, position, and movement as you are able to
+present to it. A French author has written a book, the aim of which is
+to show that it is the duty of a pretty woman to look pretty. It is
+the duty of _all_ women, and all men too, to look and behave just as
+well as they can, and whoever fails in this, fails in good manners and
+in duty. The ear demands agreeable tones and harmonious combinations
+of tones--pleasant words and sweet songs. If you indulge in loud
+talking, in boisterous and untimely laughter, or in profane or vulgar
+language, or sing out of tune, you violate its rights and offend good
+manners. The sense of smell requires pleasant odors for its enjoyment.
+Fragrance is its proper element. To bring the fetid odor of unwashed
+feet or filthy garments, or the stench of bad tobacco or worse whisky,
+or the offensive scent of onions or garlics within its sphere, is an
+act of impoliteness. The sense of taste asks for agreeable flavors,
+and has a right to the best we can give in the way of palatable foods
+and drinks. The sense of feeling, though less cultivated and not so
+sensitive as the others, has its rights too, and is offended by too
+great coarseness, roughness, and hardness. It has a claim on us for a
+higher culture.
+
+
+2. _The Faculties._
+
+And if the senses have their rights, we must admit that the higher
+faculties and feelings of our nature are at least equally dowered in
+this respect. You can not trespass upon one of them without a
+violation of good manners. We can not go into a complete exposition of
+the "bill of rights" of each. You can analyze them for yourself, and
+learn the nature of their claims upon you. In the mean time, we will
+touch upon a point or two here and there.
+
+
+3. _Opinions._
+
+Each person has a right to his or her opinions, and to the expression
+of them _on proper occasions_, and there is no duty more binding upon
+us all than the most complete and respectful toleration. The author of
+"The Illustrated Manners Book" truly says:
+
+"_Every denial of, or interference with, the personal freedom or
+absolute rights of another, is a violation of good manners._ He who
+presumes to censure me for my religious belief, or want of belief; who
+makes it a matter of criticism or reproach that I am a Theist or
+Atheist, Trinitarian or Unitarian, Catholic or Protestant, Pagan or
+Christian, Jew, Mohammedan, or Mormon, is guilty of rudeness and
+insult. If any of these modes of belief make me intolerant or
+intrusive, he may resent such intolerance or repel such intrusion; but
+the basis of all true politeness and social enjoyment is the mutual
+tolerance of personal rights."
+
+
+4. _The Sacredness of Privacy._
+
+Here is another passage from the author just quoted which is so much
+to the point that we can not forbear to copy it:
+
+"One of the rights most commonly trespassed upon constituting a
+violent breach of good manners, is the right of privacy, or of the
+control of one's own person and affairs. There are places in this
+country where there exists scarcely the slightest recognition of this
+right. A man or woman bolts into your house without knocking. No room
+is sacred unless you lock the door, and an exclusion would be an
+insult. Parents intrude upon children, and children upon parents. The
+husband thinks he has a right to enter his wife's room, and the wife
+would feel injured if excluded, by night or day, from her husband's.
+It is said that they even open each other's letters, and claim, as a
+right, that neither should have any secrets from the other.
+
+"It in difficult to conceive of such a state of intense barbarism in a
+civilized country, such a denial of the simplest and most primitive
+rights, such an utter absence of delicacy and good manners; and had we
+not been assured on good authority that such things existed, we
+should consider any suggestions respecting them needless and
+impertinent.
+
+"Each person in a dwelling should, if possible, have a room as sacred
+from intrusion as the house is to the family. No child, grown to years
+of discretion, should be outraged by intrusion. No relation, however
+intimate, can justify it. So the trunks, boxes, packets, papers, and
+letters of every individual, locked or unlocked, sealed or unsealed,
+are sacred. It is ill manners even to open a book-case, or to read a
+written paper lying open, without permission expressed or implied.
+Books in an open case or on a center-table, cards in a card-case, and
+newspapers, are presumed to be open for examination. Be careful where
+you go, what you read, and what you handle, particularly in private
+apartments."
+
+This right to privacy extends to one's business, his personal
+relations, his thoughts, and his feelings. _Don't intrude_; and always
+"mind your own business," which means, by implication, that you must
+let other people's business alone.
+
+
+5. _Conformity._
+
+You must conform, to such an extent as not to annoy and give offense,
+to the customs, whether in dress or other matters, of the circle in
+which you move. This conformity is an implied condition in the social
+compact. It is a practical recognition of the right of others, and
+shows merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings. If you
+can not sing in tune with the rest, or on the same key, remain silent.
+You may be right and the others wrong but that does not alter the
+case. Convince them, if you can, and bring them to your pitch, but
+never mar even a low accord. So if you can not adapt your dress and
+manners to the company in which you find yourself, the sooner you take
+your leave the better. You may and should endeavor, in a proper way,
+to change such customs and fashions as you may deem wrong, or
+injurious in their tendency, but, in the mean time, you have no right
+to violate them. You may choose your company, but, having chosen it,
+you must conform to its rules til you can change them. You are not
+compelled to reside in Rome; but if you choose to live there, you must
+"do as the Romans do."
+
+The rules which should govern your conduct, as an isolated individual,
+were such a thing as isolation possible in the midst of society, are
+modified by your relations to those around you. This life of ours is a
+complex affair, and our greatest errors arise from our one-side views
+of it. We are sovereign individuals, and are born with certain
+"inalienable rights;" but we are also members of that larger
+individual society, and our rights can not conflict with the duties
+which grow out of that relation. If by means of our non-conformity we
+cause ourselves to be cut off, like an offending hand, or plucked out,
+like an offending eye, our usefulness is at once destroyed.
+
+It is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion he
+turned his tea into his saucer, contrary to his custom and to the
+etiquette of society, because two country ladies, whose hospitalities
+he was enjoying, did so. That king was a _gentleman_; and this
+anecdote serves to illustrate an important principle; namely, that
+_true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit, but
+absolutely demand, a violation of some of the arbitrary rules of
+etiquette_.
+
+The _highest law_ demands complete HARMONY in all spheres and in all
+relations.
+
+
+IV.--EQUALITY.
+
+In the qualified sense which no doubt Mr. Jefferson affixed to the
+term in his own mind, "all men _are_ created free and _equal_." The
+"noble Oracle" himself had long before as explicitly asserted the
+natural equality of man. In 1739, thirty-seven years before the
+Declaration of Independence was penned, Lord Chesterfield wrote: "We
+are of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us,
+except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman and
+Lizette would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor,
+they are obliged to serve you. Therefore you must not add to their
+misfortune by insulting or ill-treating them. A good heart never
+reminds people of their misfortune, but endeavors to alleviate, or, if
+possible, to make them forget it."
+
+The writer in _Life Illustrated_, quoted in a previous chapter, states
+the case very clearly as follows:
+
+"It is in the sacredness of their rights that men are equal. The
+smallest injustice done to the smallest man on earth is an offense
+against all men; an offense which all men have a personal and equal
+interest in avenging. If John Smith picks my pocket, the cause in
+court is correctly entitled, 'The PEOPLE _versus_ John Smith.' The
+whole State of New York has taken up my quarrel with John, and arrays
+itself against John in awful majesty; because the pockets, the
+interests, the rights of a man are _infinitely_, and therefore
+_equally_, sacred.
+
+"The conviction of this truth is the beginning and basis of the
+science of republican etiquette, which acknowledges no _artificial_
+distinctions. Its leading principle is, that courtesy is due to all
+men from all men; from the servant to the served; from the served to
+the servant; and from both for precisely the same reason, namely,
+because both are human beings and _fellow_-citizens!"
+
+
+V.--A REMARK OR TWO TO BE REMEMBERED.
+
+We purpose, in succeeding chapters, to set forth briefly but clearly,
+what the actual requirements of good society are in reference to
+behavior. You must look at these in the light of the general
+principles we have already laid down. It is not for us to say how far
+you ought or can conform to any particular custom, usage, or rule of
+etiquette. We believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious of
+them either have or have had a reason and a meaning. In many cases,
+however, the reason may no longer exist, and the form be meaningless;
+or while it embodies what is a living truth to others, you may have
+outgrown it or advanced beyond it. _You have an undoubted right,
+politely but firmly, to decline to do what seems to you, looking upon
+the matter from your highest stand-point, to be clearly wrong, and it
+is no breach of good manners to do so_; but at the same time you
+should avoid, as far as possible, putting yourself in positions which
+call for the exercise of this right. If you can not conscientiously
+wear a dress coat, or a stove-pipe hat, or cut your hair, or eat
+flesh-meat, or drink wine, you will naturally avoid, under ordinary
+circumstances, the circles in which non-conformity in these matters
+would be deemed a breach of good manners. When it is necessary that
+you should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in all
+points without a violation of principle, you will courteously, and
+with proper respect for what they probably think entirely right, fall
+back upon the "higher law;" but if it is a mere matter of gloved or
+ungloved hands, cup or saucer, fork or knife, you will certainly have
+the courtesy and good sense to conform to usage.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+DOMESTIC MANNERS.
+
+     Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for
+     the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every
+     pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he
+     will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in
+     another school.--_Harrison._
+
+
+I.--A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS.
+
+Good manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes.
+Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only on
+special and rare occasions, it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you.
+If you are not well behaved in your own family circle, you will hardly
+be truly so anywhere, however strictly you may conform to the
+observances of good breeding, when in society. The true gentleman or
+lady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places-­at home as
+well as abroad--in the field, or workshop, or in the kitchen, as well
+as in the parlor. A snob is--a _snob_ always and everywhere.
+
+If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or
+mother, his brothers or sisters, his wife or children; or fail to
+exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his
+own fireside, you may at once set him down as a boor, whatever
+_pretensions_ he may make to gentility.
+
+Dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as you
+please at home--that is, unless you please to behave in a perfectly
+gentlemanly or ladylike manner. The same rights exist there as
+elsewhere, and the same duties grow out of them, while the natural
+respect and affection which should be felt by each member of the
+family for all the other members, add infinitely to their sacredness.
+Let your good manners, then, begin at home.
+
+
+II.--PARENTS AND CHILDREN.
+
+American children (we are sorry to be obliged to say it) are not, as a
+general rule, well behaved. They are rude and disrespectful, if not
+disobedient. They inspire terror rather than love in the breasts of
+strangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order. In our
+drawing-rooms, on board our steamers, in our railway cars and stage
+coaches, they usually contrive to make themselves generally and
+particularly disagreeable by their familiarity, forwardness, and
+pertness. "Young America" can not brook restraint, has no conception
+of superiority, and reverences nothing. His ideas of equality admit
+neither limitation nor qualification. He is born with a full
+comprehension of his own individual rights, but is slow in learning
+his social duties. Through whose fault comes this state of things?
+American boys and girls have naturally as much good sense and
+good-nature as those of any other nation, and, when well trained, no
+children are more courteous and agreeable. The fault lies in their
+education. In the days of our grandfathers, children were taught
+manners at school--a rather rude, backwoods sort of manners, it is
+true, but better than the no manners at all of the present day. We
+must blame parents in this matter rather than their children. If you
+would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders
+as well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in their
+childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may
+be the better fitted to command in his turn.
+
+Those who are old enough to study this book, are old enough to take
+the matter in to their own hands, and remedy the defects and supply
+the deficiencies of their early education. We beg them to commence at
+once, and _at home_.
+
+Allow no false ideas of "liberty and equality" to cause you to forget
+for a moment the deference due to your father and your mother. The
+fifth commandment has not been and can not be abrogated. We commend to
+you the example of the Father of his Country. Look into the life of
+Washington, and mark what tender and respectful attentions
+characterized his intercourse with his only surviving parent. _He_
+never, we venture to say, spoke of his mother as "the old woman," or
+addressed her with incivility. "Never," an old friend of yours adjures
+you, "let youthful levity or the example of others betray you into
+forgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders to a certain
+deference." Nature, a counselor still more sage, we doubt not, has
+written the same injunction upon your heart. _Let your manners do
+justice to your feelings!_
+
+"Toward your father," that polished and courtly "gentleman of the old
+school," the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness
+and Fashion," says, "preserve always a deferential manner, mingled
+with a certain frankness indicating that thorough confidence--that
+entire understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee of
+good sense in both, and of inestimable value to every young man
+blessed with a right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated by
+experience with respect, receive even reproof without impatience of
+manner, and hasten to prove afterward that you cherish no resentful
+remembrance of what may have seemed to you too great severity or a too
+manifest assumption of authority.... In the inner temple of _home_, as
+well as where the world looks on, render him reverence due.
+
+"There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention
+that marks your manner to your mother the indescribable tenderness
+and rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance
+of early days. No other woman should ever induce you to forget this
+truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner ever
+indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection."
+
+
+III.--BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
+
+The intercourse of brothers and sisters should be marked by the
+frankness and familiarity befitting their intimate relation; but this
+certainly does not preclude the exercise of all the little courtesies
+of life. Young man, be polite to your sister. She is a woman, and all
+women have claims on you for courteous attentions; and the affection
+which exists between you adds tenfold to the sacredness of the claims
+she has upon you, not only for protection, but for the exercise toward
+her of all the sweet amenities of life. Except your mother and your
+wife or affianced mistress (if you have one), no one can possibly have
+an equal right to your attentions. If you are young and have neither
+wife nor lady-love, let your mother and your sisters be to you the
+embodiment of all that is tenderest, most beautiful, and best in the
+human world. You can have no better school than your daily intercourse
+with them, to fit you for female society in general. The young man who
+loves his sisters and always treats them with the politeness,
+deference, and kindness which is their due, is almost certain to be a
+favorite with their sex generally; so, _as you value your reputation
+for good manners and your success with other ladies, fail in no act of
+courtesy to your sisters_.
+
+The gentle and loving sister will need no injunction to treat an
+affectionate, polite, and attentive brother with the tender and
+respectful consideration which such a brother deserves. The charming
+little courtesies which you practice so gracefully in your
+intercourse with other gentlemen will not, you may be sure, be lost
+upon him. True politeness is never lost, and never out of place; and
+nowhere does it appear more attractive than at home.
+
+Stiff formality and cold ceremoniousness are repulsive anywhere, and
+are particularly so in the family circle; but the easy, frank, and
+genial intercourse of the fireside, instead of being marred, is
+refined and made still more delightful by courtesy.
+
+
+IV.--THE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
+
+Reader, are you married? But excuse us, if the question is not a
+proper one. If you are not, you doubtless hope to be, sooner or later,
+and therefore we will address you just as if you were.
+
+The husband should never cease to be a _lover_, or fail in any of
+those delicate attentions and tender expressions of affectionate
+solicitude which marked his intercourse before marriage with his
+heart's queen. All the respectful deference, every courteous
+observance, all the self-sacrificing devotion that can be claimed by a
+mistress is certainly due to a wife, and he is no true husband and no
+true _gentleman_ who withholds them. It is not enough that you honor,
+respect, and love your wife. You must put this honor, respect, and
+love into the forms of speech and action. Let no unkind word, no
+seeming indifference, no lack of the little attentions due her, remind
+her sadly of the sweet days of courtship and the honey-moon. Surely
+the love you thought would have been cheaply purchased at the price of
+a world is worth all you care to preserve. Is not the wife more, and
+better, and dearer than the sweetheart? We venture to hint that it is
+probably your own fault if she is not.
+
+The chosen companion of your life, the mother of your children, the
+sharer of all your joys and sorrows, as she possesses the highest
+place in your affections, should have the best place everywhere, the
+choicest morsels, the politest attentions, the softest, kindest words,
+the tenderest care. Love, duty, and good manners alike require it.
+
+And has the wife no duties? Have the courteous observances, the tender
+watchfulness, the pleasant words, the never-tiring devotion, which won
+your smiles, your spoken thanks, your kisses, your very self, in days
+gone by, now lost their value? Does not the husband rightly claim as
+much, at least, as the lover? If you find him less observant of the
+little courtesies due you, may this not be because you sometimes fail
+to reward him with the same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles? Ask your
+own heart.
+
+Have the comfort and happiness of your husband always in view, and let
+him _see_ and _feel_ that you still look up to him with trust and
+affection--that the love of other days has not grown cold. Dress for
+his eyes more scrupulously than for all the rest of the world; make
+yourself and your home beautiful for his sake; play and sing (if you
+can) to please him; try to beguile him from his cares; retain his
+affections in the same way you won them, and--be polite even to your
+husband.
+
+
+V.--ENTERTAINERS AND THEIR GUESTS.
+
+Hospitality takes a high rank among the social virtues; but we fear it
+is not held in so high esteem as formerly. Its duties are often
+fatiguing and irksome, no doubt, and sometimes quite unnecessarily so.
+One of the most important maxims of hospitality is, "Let your guests
+alone!" If it were generally observed it would save both hosts and
+visitors a world of trouble. Your first object should be to make your
+guests feel at home. This they never can do while your needless bustle
+and obtrusive attentions constantly remind them that they are not at
+home, and perhaps make them wish they were.
+
+You will not, of course, understand us to mean that you should devote
+no attention to your guests. On the contrary, you should assiduously
+labor to promote their comfort and enjoyment, opening to them every
+source of entertainment within your reach; but it should be done in
+that easy, delicate, considerate way which will make it seem a matter
+of course, and no trouble whatever to you. You should not seem to be
+conferring but receiving a favor.
+
+Begging your visitors to "make themselves at home," does not give them
+the home _feeling_. Genuine, unaffected friendliness, and an
+unobtrusive and almost unperceived attention to their wants alone will
+impart this. Allow their presence to interfere as little as possible
+with your domestic arrangements; thus letting them see that their
+visit does not disturb you, but that they fall, as it were, naturally
+into a vacant place in your household.
+
+Observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a person
+who, though he may be very much your friend, and really glad to see
+you, seems not to know what to do either with you or himself; and
+again, when in the house of another, you feel as much at ease as in
+your own. Mark the difference, more easily felt than described,
+between the manners of the two, and deduce therefrom a lesson for your
+own improvement.
+
+Furnish your rooms and table for your guests in as good style as your
+means and the circumstances of the case will permit, and make no fuss
+about it. To be unnecessarily sparing shows meanness, and to be
+extravagantly profuse is absurd as well an ruinous. Probably your
+visitors know whether your income is large or small and if they do not
+they will soon learn, on that point, all that it is necessary for
+them to know. But if any circumstance out of the ordinary course of
+things should render an apology necessary, make it at once and say no
+more about it.
+
+Avoid by all means the very common but very foolish habit of
+depreciating your own rooms, furniture, or viands, and expressing
+uncalled-for regrets that you have nothing better to offer, merely to
+give your guests an opportunity politely to contradict you. But you
+need not go to the other extreme and extol the meats you set before
+them. Say nothing about these matters.
+
+When visitors show any intention of leaving, you will of course
+express the desire you feel to have them stay longer, but good manners
+do not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes or
+sense of duty. It is to be supposed that they know their own affairs
+best.
+
+Guests sometimes forget (if they ever learned) that _they_ have any
+duties. We beg leave to jog their memory with the following hints from
+the graceful pen of "Mrs. Manners:"
+
+"To accommodate yourself to the habits and rules of the family, in
+regard to hours of rising or retiring, and particularly the hours for
+meals, is the first duty of a guest. Inform yourself as soon as
+possible when the meals occur--whether there will be a dressing-bell--at
+what time they meet for prayers, and thus become acquainted with all the
+family regulations. _It is always the better way for a family to adhere
+strictly to all their usual habits_; it is a much simpler matter for
+one to learn to conform to those than for half a dozen to be thrown out
+of a routine, which may be almost indispensable to the fulfillment of
+their importunate duties. It certainly must promote the happiness of
+any reasonable person to know that his presence is no restraint and
+no inconvenience.
+
+"Your own good sense and delicacy will teach you the desirability of
+keeping your room tidy, and your articles of dress and toilet as much
+in order as possible. If there is a deficiency of servants, a lady
+will certainly not hesitate to make her own bed, and to do for herself
+as much as possible, and for the family all that is in her power. I
+never saw an elegant lady of my acquaintance appear to better
+advantage than when once performing a service which, under other
+circumstances, might have been considered menial; yet, in her own
+house, she was surrounded by servants, and certainly she never used a
+broom or made a bed a her life."
+
+
+VI.--SERVANTS.
+
+We are all dependent, in one way or another, upon others. At one time
+we serve, at another we are served, and we are equally worthy of honor
+and respect in the one case as in the other. The man or the woman who
+serves us may or may not be our inferior in natural capacity,
+learning, manners, or wealth. Be this as it may, the relation in which
+we stand to him or her gives us no right beyond the exaction of the
+service stipulated or implied in that relation. The right to tyrannize
+over our inferiors in social position, to unnecessarily humiliate
+them, or to be rude and unkind can not exist, because it would be an
+infringement of other rights. Servants have rights as well as those
+whom they serve, and the latter have duties as well as the former. We
+owe those who labor for us something more than their wages. They have
+claims on us for a full recognition of their manhood or womanhood, and
+all the rights which grow out of that state.
+
+The true gentleman is never arrogant, or overbearing, or rude to
+domestics or _employées_. His commands are requests, and all
+services, no matter how humble the servant, are received with thanks,
+as if they were favors. We might say the same with still greater
+emphasis of the true lady. There is no surer sign of vulgarity than a
+needless assumption of the tone of authority and a haughty and
+supercilious bearing toward servants and inferiors in station
+generally. It is a small thing to say, "I thank you," but those little
+words are often better than gold. No one is too poor to bestow, or too
+rich to receive them.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.
+
+     Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of
+     commercial life: returns are equally expected in both; and
+     people will no more advance their civility to a bear, than
+     their money to a bankrupt.--_Chesterfield._
+
+
+I.--A PRELIMINARY REMARK.
+
+In going out into the great world which lies outside of home we have
+no new principles to lay down for your guidance. Those we have set
+forth and illustrated in previous chapters are of universal
+application and meet all contingencies. We shall now essay a brief
+exposition of the established laws of etiquette, leaving each reader
+to judge for himself how far he can and ought to conform to them, and
+what modifications they require to adapt them to a change of time,
+place, and circumstances.
+
+
+II.--INTRODUCTIONS.
+
+It is neither necessary nor desirable to introduce everybody to
+everybody; and the promiscuous presentations sometimes inflicted upon
+us are anything but agreeable. You confer no favor on us, and only a
+nominal one on the person presented, by making us acquainted with one
+whom we do not desire to know; and you _may_ inflict a positive injury
+upon both. Yon also put yourself in an unpleasant position; for "an
+introduction is a social indorsement," and yell become to a certain
+extent responsible for the person you introduce. If he disgraces
+himself in any way you share, in a greater or less degree, in his
+disgrace. Be as cautious in this matter as you would in writing your
+name on the back of another man's note.
+
+As a general rule, no gentleman should be presented to a lady without
+her permission being previously obtained. Between gentlemen this
+formality is not always necessary, but you should have good reason to
+believe that the acquaintance will be agreeable to both, before
+introducing any persons to each other. If a gentleman requests you to
+present him to another gentleman who is his superior in social
+position, or to a lady, you should either obtain permission of the
+latter, or decline to accede to his request, on the ground that you
+are not sufficiently intimate yourself to take the liberty.
+
+If you are walking with a friend, and are met or joined by another, it
+is not necessary to introduce them to each other; but you may do so if
+you think they would be glad to become acquainted. The same rule will
+apply to other accidental meetings.
+
+When two men call upon a stranger on a matter of business, each should
+present the other.
+
+The inferior should be introduced to the superior--the gentleman to
+the lady, as, "Miss Brown, permit me to introduce Mr. Smith." A lady
+may, however, be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age or
+station. Gentlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age and
+position are mutually introduced; as, "Mr. Wilson, allow me to make
+you acquainted with Mr. Parker; Mr. Parker, Mr. Wilson."
+
+In presenting persons be very careful to speak their names plainly;
+and on being introduced to another, if you do not catch the name, say,
+without hesitation or embarrassment, "I beg your pardon, I did not
+hear the name."
+
+It is the common custom in this country to shake hands on being
+introduced. It is better that this should be optional with the person
+to whom you are presented or with you, if you stood in the position
+of the superior. If a lady or a superior in age or social position
+offers the hand, you of course accept it cordially. You will have too
+much self-respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case.
+In merely formal introductions a bow is enough. Feeling should govern
+in this matter.
+
+In introducing members of your own family you should always mention
+the name. Say, "My father Mr. Jones," "My daughter Miss Jones," or
+"Miss Mary Jones." Your wife is simply "Mrs. Jones;" and if there
+happen to be another Mrs. Jones in the family, she may be "Mrs. Jones,
+my sister-in-law," etc. To speak of your wife as "my lady," or enter
+yourselves on a hotel register as Mr. Jones and lady, is particularly
+_snobbish_.
+
+Introductions by letter are subject to the same general rules as
+verbal ones: we should, however, be still more cautious in giving
+them; but for directions on this point, as well as forms for letters
+of introduction, see "How to Write," Chapter IX.
+
+But may we not speak to a person without an introduction? In many
+cases we most certainly may and should. There is no reason in the
+world why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car or
+a stage coach should remain silent during the whole journey because
+they have not been introduced, when conversation might be agreeable to
+both. The same remark will apply to many other occasions. You are not
+obliged, however to know these _extempore_ acquaintances afterward.
+
+If you are a gentleman, do not, we beg you, permit the lack of an
+introduction to prevent you from promptly offering your services to
+any unattended lady who may need them. Take off your hat and politely
+beg the honor of protecting, escorting, or assisting her, and when the
+service has been accomplished, bow and retire.
+
+
+III.--SALUTATIONS.
+
+"Salutation," a French writer says, "is the touchstone of good
+breeding." Your good sense will teach you that it should vary in style
+with persons, times, places, and circumstances. You will meet an
+intimate friend with a hearty shake of the hand and an inquiry
+indicative of real interest, in reference to his health and that of
+his family. To another person you how respectfully without speaking. A
+slight note of recognition suffices in another case. But you should
+never come into the presence of any person, unless you feel at liberty
+to ignore their existence altogether, without some form of salutation.
+If you meet in company a person with whom you have a quarrel, it is
+better in general to bow coldly and ceremoniously than to seem not to
+see him.
+
+It is a great rudeness not to return a salutation, no matter how
+humble the person who salutes you. "A bow," La Fontaine says, "is a
+note drawn at sight. If you acknowledge it, you must pay the full
+amount." The two best bred men in England, Charles the Second and
+George the Fourth, never failed to take off their hats to the meanest
+of their subjects. A greater man than either, and a true "gentleman of
+the old school," George Washington, was wont to lift his hat even to
+the poor negro slave, who took off his as that great man passed.
+
+
+IV.--RECEPTIONS.
+
+The duty of receiving visitors usually devolves upon the mistress of
+the house, and should be performed in an easy, quiet, and self
+possessed manner, and without any unnecessary ceremony. In this way
+you will put your guests at their ease, and make their call or visit
+pleasant both to them and to yourself. From a little book before us
+entitled "Etiquette for Ladies," we condense a few useful hints on
+this subject:
+
+"When any one enters, whether announced or not, rise immediately,
+advance toward him, and request him to sit down. If it is a young man,
+_offer_ him an arm-chair, or a stuffed one; if an elderly man,
+_insist_ upon his _accepting_ the arm-chair; if a lady, beg her to be
+seated upon the sofa. If the master of the house receives the
+visitors, he will take a chair and place himself at a little distance
+from them; if, on the contrary, it is the mistress of the house, and
+if she is intimate with the lady who visits her, she will place
+herself near her. If several ladies come at once, we give the most
+honorable place to the one who, from age or other considerations, is
+most entitled to respect. In winter, the most honorable places are
+those at the corners of the fireplace.
+
+"If the visitor is a stranger, the master or mistress of the house
+rises, and any persons who may be already in the room should do the
+same. If some of them then withdraw, the master or mistress of the
+house should conduct them as far as the door. But whoever the person
+may be who departs, if we have other company, we may dispense with
+conducting farther than the door of the room."
+
+Quiet self-possession and unaffected courtesy will enable you to make
+even a ceremonious morning call tolerable, if not absolutely pleasant
+to both the caller and yourself.
+
+
+V.--VISITS AND CALLS.
+
+Visits are of various kinds, each of which has its own terms and
+observances. There are visits of ceremony, visits of congratulation,
+visits of condolence, visits of friendship.
+
+Visits of ceremony, though they take up a large share of the time of
+the fashionable lady, are very stupid affairs as a general thing, and
+have little to recommend them except--Fashion. The best thing about
+them is that they may and should be short.
+
+You pay visits of congratulation to your friends on the occurrence of
+any particularly auspicious event in his family, or on his appointment
+to any office or dignity.
+
+Visits of condolence should be made within the week after the event
+which calls for them.
+
+Let visits of friendship be governed by friendship's own laws, and the
+universal principles of good manners. We shall give no particular
+rules for the regulation of their time or their length.
+
+"Morning calls," the "Illustrated Manners Book" says "are the small
+change of social commerce; parties and assemblies are the heavy
+drafts. A call is not less than ten nor more than twenty minutes in
+the city; in the country a little longer. The time for a morning call
+is between eleven and two o'clock, unless your friends are so
+fashionable as to dine at five or six, in which case you can call from
+twelve to three. Morning, in fashionable parlance, means any time
+before dinner."
+
+In a morning call or visit of ceremony, the gentleman takes his hat
+and cane, if he carries one, into the room. The lady does not take off
+her bonnet and shawl. In attending ladies who are making morning
+calls, a gentleman assists them up the steps, rings the bell,
+_follows_ them into the room, and waits till they have finished their
+salutations, unless he has a part to perform in presenting them.
+Ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa, and
+when they have made their _adieux_ their cavaliers repeat the
+ceremony, and follow them out.
+
+Soiled overshoes or wet garments should not be worn into any room
+devoted to the use of ladies. Gentlemen must never remain seated in
+the company of ladies with whom he is ceremoniously associated, while
+they are standing. Always relieve ladies of their parcels, parasols,
+shawls, etc. whenever this will conduce to their convenience.[B]
+
+If you call on a person who is "engaged," or "not at home," leave your
+card. If there are several persons you desire to see, leave a card for
+each, or desire a servant to present your compliments to them
+severally. All visits should be returned, personally or by card, just
+as one should speak when spoken to, or answer a respectful letter.
+
+In visiting at a hotel, do not enter your friend's room till your card
+has announced you. If not at home, send your card to his room with
+your address written upon it as well as the name of the person for
+whom it is intended, to avoid mistakes.[C]
+
+When you are going abroad, intending to be absent for some time, you
+inclose your card in an envelope, having first, written T. T. L. [to
+take leave], or P. P. C. [_pour prendre congé_] upon it--for a man the
+former is better--and direct it outside to the person for whom it is
+intended. In taking leave of a _family_, you send as many cards as you
+would if you were paying an ordinary visit. When you return from your
+voyage, all the persons to whom, before going, you have sent cards,
+will pay you the first visit. If, previously to a voyage or his
+marriage, any one should not send his card to another, it is to be
+understood that he wishes the acquaintance to cease. The person,
+therefore, who is thus _dis_carded, should never again visit the
+other.[D]
+
+Visiting cards should be engraved or handsomely written. Those
+printed on type are considered vulgar, simply, no doubt, because they
+are cheap. A gentleman's card should be of medium size, unglazed,
+ungilt, and perfectly plain. A lady's card may be larger and finer,
+and should be carried in a card-case.
+
+If you should happen to be paying an evening visit at a house, where,
+unknown to you, there is a small party assembled, you should enter and
+present yourself precisely as you would have done had you been
+invited. To retire precipitately with an apology for the intrusion
+would create a _scene_, and be extremely awkward. Go in, therefore,
+converse with ease for a few moments, and then retire.
+
+In making morning calls, usage allows a gentleman to wear a frock
+coat, or a sack coat, if the latter happen to be in fashion. The frock
+coat is now, in this country, _tolerated_ at dinner-parties, and even
+at a ball, but is not considered in good _ton_ or style.
+
+"Ladies," according to the authority of a writer of their own sex,
+"should make morning calls in an elegant and simple _négligé_, all the
+details of which we can not give, on account of their multiplicity and
+the numerous modifications of fashion. It is necessary for them, when
+visiting at this time, to arrange their toilet with great care."
+
+
+VI.--APPOINTMENTS.
+
+Be exact in keeping all appointments. It is better never to avail
+yourself of even the quarter of an hour's grace sometimes allowed.
+
+If you make an appointment with another at your own house, you should
+be invisible to the rest of the world, and consecrate your time solely
+to him.
+
+If you accept an appointment at the house of a public officer or a
+man of business, be very punctual, transact the affair with dispatch,
+and retire the moment it is finished.
+
+At a dinner or supper to which you have accepted an invitation, be
+absolutely punctual. It is very annoying to arrive an hour before the
+rest, and still worse to be too late. If you find yourself in the
+latter predicament on an occasion where ceremony is required, send in
+your card, with an apology, and retire.
+
+
+VII.--TABLE MANNERS.
+
+We shall speak in another place of the ceremonious observances
+requisite at formal dinner parties. Our observations here will be of a
+more general character, and of universal application.
+
+Take your seat quietly at the table. Sit firmly in your chair, without
+lolling, leaning back, drumming, or any other uncouth action. Unfold
+your napkin and lay it in your lap, eat soup delicately with a spoon,
+holding a piece of bread in your left hand. Be careful to make no
+noise in chewing or swallowing your food.
+
+Cut your food with your knife; but the fork is to be used to convey it
+to your mouth. A spoon is employed for food that can not be eaten with
+a fork. Take your fork or spoon in the right hand. Never use both
+hands to convey anything to your month. Break your bread, not cut or
+bite it. Your cup was made to drink from, and your saucer to hold the
+cup. It is not well to drink anything hot; but you can wait till your
+tea or coffee cools. Eggs should be eaten from the shell (chipping off
+a little of the _larger_ end), with or without an egg-cup. The egg-cup
+is to hold the shell, and not its contents.
+
+Be attentive to the wants of any lady who may be seated next to you,
+especially where there are no servants, and pass anything that may be
+needful to others.
+
+When you send up your plate for anything, your knife and fork should
+go with it. When you have finished the course, lay your knife and fork
+on your plate, parallel to each other, with the handles toward your
+right hand. Of course, you should never put your knife into the butter
+or the salt, or your spoon into the sugar-bowl. _Eat moderately and
+slowly_, for your health's sake; but rapid, gross, and immoderate
+eating is as vulgar as it is unwholesome. Never say or do anything at
+table that is liable to produce disgust. Wipe your nose, if needful,
+but never blow it. If it is necessary to do this, or to spit, leave
+the table.
+
+It is almost unnecessary to mention that the table-cloth is not the
+place to put your salt. Bread is the only comestible which the custom
+of well-bred people permits to be laid off your plate.
+
+It is well not to seem too much in haste to commence, as if you are
+famishing, but neither is it necessary to wait till everybody is
+served before you commence.
+
+It is perfectly proper to "take the last piece," if you want it,
+always presuming that there is more of the same in reserve.
+
+
+VIII.--CONVERSATION.
+
+As conversation is the principal business in company, we can not well
+pay too much attention to it; but having devoted another work to the
+subject, we shall make this section briefer than would otherwise be
+allowable, and refer our readers for complete instructions in this
+important art to "How to Talk."[E] The maxims which follow are mostly
+compiled from other works now before us.
+
+The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in
+showing a great deal yourself. He who goes from your conversation
+pleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased with
+you. The most delicate pleasure is to please another.[F]
+
+Men of all sorts of occupations meet in society. As they go there to
+unbend their minds and escape from the fetters of business, you should
+never, in an evening, speak to a man about his profession. Do not talk
+of politics to a journalist, of fevers to a physician, of stocks to a
+broker. Talk to a mother about her children. Women are never tired of
+hearing of themselves and their children.[G]
+
+In promiscuous companies you should vary your address agreeably to the
+different ages of the persons to whom you speak. It would be rude and
+absurd to talk of your courtships or your pleasures to men of certain
+dignity and gravity, to clergymen, or men in years. To women you
+should always address yourself with great respect and attention; their
+sex is entitled to it, and it is among the duties of good manners; at
+the same time, that respect is very properly and very agreeably mixed
+with a degree of gayety, if you have it.
+
+In relating anything, avoid repetitions, or very hackneyed
+expressions, such as, _says he_, or _says she_. Some people will use
+these so often as to take off the hearer's attention from the story;
+as, in an organ out of tune, one pipe shall perhaps sound the whole
+time we are playing, and confuse the piece so as not to be understood.
+
+Carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domestic
+concerns. By doing the one, you will be thought vain; by entering into
+the other, you will be considered officious. Talking of yourself is
+an impertinence to the company; your affairs are nothing to them;
+besides, they can not be kept too secret. As to the affairs of others,
+what are they to you?
+
+You should never help out or forestall the slow speaker, as if you
+alone were rich in expressions, and he were poor. You may take it for
+granted that every one is vain enough to think he can talk well,
+though he may modestly deny it. [There is an exception to this rule.
+In speaking with foreigners, who understand our language imperfectly,
+and may be unable to find the right word, it is sometimes polite to
+assist them by suggesting the word they require.]
+
+Giving advice unasked is another piece of rudeness. It is, in effect,
+declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproaching
+them with ignorance and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not
+to be taken with any common acquaintance.
+
+Those who contradict others upon all occasions, and make every
+assertion a matter of dispute, betray, by this behavior, a want of
+acquaintance with good breeding.
+
+Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of
+bad company and a bad education. A man of fashion avoids nothing with
+more care than that. Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the
+flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man.[H]
+
+Never descend to flattery; but deserved compliments should never be
+withheld. Be attentive to any person who may be speaking to you, and
+be equally ready to speak or to listen, as the case may require. Never
+dispute. As a general rule, do not ride your own _hobbies_ in a mixed
+company, nor allow yourself to be "trotted out" for their amusement.
+
+
+IX.--MUSIC.
+
+When music commences, conversation should cease. It is very rude to
+talk while another person is singing or playing.
+
+A lady should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play; but if she
+intends to do so, she should not affect to refuse when asked, but
+obligingly accede at once. If you can not sing, or do not choose to,
+say so with seriousness and gravity, and put an end to the expectation
+promptly. After singing once or twice, cease and give place to others.
+The complaint is as old as the days of Horace, that a singer can with
+the greatest difficulty be set agoing, and when agoing, can not be
+stopped.
+
+In playing an accompaniment for another, do not forget that it is
+intended to aid, and not to interrupt, and that the instrument is
+subordinate to the singer.
+
+When a lady is playing, it is desirable that some one should turn the
+leaves for her. Some gentleman will be generally at hand to do this,
+but unless he be able to read music, his services may as well be
+dispensed with.
+
+
+X.--LETTERS AND NOTES.
+
+Few accomplishments are more important than letter writing--in fact,
+it is absolutely indispensable to every man or woman who desires to
+fill a respectable position it society. But good letter-writers are
+rare. Too little attention is paid to the subject in our systems of
+education; and the lack of the ability to write a decent letter, or
+even a note of invitation, acceptance, or regret, is often the cause
+of great mortification, to say nothing of the delays, misunderstandings,
+and losses resulting in business affairs from bungling and incorrectly
+written letters.
+
+The impossibility of doing justice to the subject in the very limited
+space that we could devote to it in this work, compels us to refer the
+reader to our little manual of Composition and Letter-Writing,
+entitled "How to Write," in which the whole subject is thoroughly
+explained and illustrated.
+
+
+XI.--MISCELLANEOUS HINTS.
+
+
+1. _Which goes First?_
+
+In ascending or descending stairs with a lady, it is proper to offer
+your arm, provided the stair-case is sufficiently wide to permit two
+to go up or down abreast.
+
+But if it is not, which should go first? Authorities disagree. Usage
+is not settled. It is a general rule of etiquette to give ladies the
+precedence everywhere. Is there a sufficient reason for making this an
+exception? One says that if you follow a lady in going down stairs,
+you are liable to tread on her dress, and that if she precedes you in
+going up, she might display a large foot or a thick ankle which were
+better concealed. He thinks the gentleman should go first. Another
+calls this a maxim of prudery and the legacy of a maiden aunt. Colonel
+Lunettes, our oft-quoted friend of the old _régime_, speaks very
+positively on this point. "Nothing is more absurd," he says, "than the
+habit of preceding ladies in ascending stairs, adopted by some men--as
+if by following just behind them, as one should if the arm be
+disengaged, there can be any impropriety. Soiled frills and unmended
+hose must have originated this vulgarity." Let the ladies decide.
+
+
+2. _An American Habit._
+
+There is a habit peculiar to the United States, and from which even
+some females, who class themselves as ladies, are not entirely
+free--that of lolling back, balanced upon the two hind legs of a
+chair. Such a breach of good breeding is rarely committed in Europe.
+Lolling is carried even so for in America, that it is not uncommon to
+see the attorneys lay their feet upon the council table; and the
+clerks and judges theirs also upon their desks in open court.
+
+
+3. _Gloved or Ungloved?_
+
+In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand; but
+if two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep each
+other waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer a
+gloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved. Foreigners are
+sometimes very sensitive in this matter, and might deem the glove an
+insult. It is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove in
+his hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands. At a ball
+or a party the gloves should not be taken off.
+
+
+4. _Equality._
+
+In company, though none are _free_, yet all are _equal_. All,
+therefore, whom you meet should be treated with equal respect,
+although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of
+attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her
+guests.
+
+
+5. _False Shame._
+
+In a letter to his son, Lord Chesterfield makes the following
+confession: "I have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent, for
+meeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought and
+called fine company. I have returned his notice shyly, awkwardly, and
+consequently offensively, for fear of a momentary joker not
+considering, as I ought to have done, that the very people who would
+have joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me the more for it
+afterward."
+
+A good hint for us all.
+
+
+6. _Pulling out one's Watch._
+
+Pulling out your watch in company, unasked, either at home or abroad,
+is a mark of ill-breeding. If at home, it appears as if you were tired
+of your company, and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if the
+hours dragged heavily, and you wished to be gone yourself. If you want
+to know the time, withdraw; besides, as the taking what is called
+French leave was introduced, that, on one person's leaving the
+company, the rest might not be disturbed, looking at your watch does
+what that piece of politeness was designed to prevent.
+
+
+7. _Husband and Wife._
+
+A gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as Mrs. ----, and a
+lady of her husband as Mr. ----. So one does not say in speaking to
+another, "your wife," or "your husband," but Mrs. or Mr. ----. Among
+intimates, however, to say "my wife," or "my husband," is better,
+because less formal. Let there be a _fitness_ in everything, whatever
+conventional rules you may violate.
+
+
+8. _Bowing vs. Curtseying._
+
+Curtseying is obsolete. Ladies now universally bow instead. The latter
+is certainly a more convenient, if not a more graceful form of
+salutation, particularly on the street.
+
+
+9. _Presents._
+
+Among friends, presents ought to be made of things of small value; or,
+if valuable, their worth should be derived from the style of the
+workmanship, or from some accidental circumstance, rather than from
+the inherent and solid richness. Especially never offer to a lady a
+gift of great cost; it is in the highest degree indelicate, and looks
+as if you were desirous of placing her under an obligation to you, and
+of buying her good-will.
+
+The gifts made by ladies to gentlemen are of the most refined nature
+possible; they should be little articles not purchased, but deriving a
+priceless value as being the offspring of their gentle skill; a little
+picture from their pencil or a trifle from their needle.
+
+A present should be made with as little parade and ceremony as
+possible. If it is a small matter, a gold pencil-case, a thimble to a
+lady, or an affair of that sort, it should not be offered formally,
+but in an indirect way.
+
+Emerson says: "Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for
+gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me.
+Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the
+farmer, his corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the
+painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing."
+
+
+10. _Snobbery._
+
+When you hear a man insisting upon points of etiquette and fashion;
+wondering, for instance, how people can eat with steel forks and
+survive it, or what charms existence has for persons who dine at three
+without soup and fish, be sure that that individual is a snob.
+
+
+11. _Children._
+
+Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Recollect, in
+the matter of children, how many are born every hour, each are almost
+as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[B] "Colonel Lunettes."
+
+[C] "Manners Book."
+
+[D] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[E] "How to Talk: A Pocket Manual of Conversation, Public Speaking,
+and Debating." New York. Fowler and Wells. Price 80 cents.
+
+[F] La Bruyère
+
+[G] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[H] Chesterfield.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+THE ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.
+
+    Great plenty, much formality, small cheer,
+    And everybody out of his own sphere.--_Byron._
+
+
+I.--DINNER PARTIES.
+
+A young man or a young woman, unaccustomed to the settled observances
+of such occasions, can hardly pass through a severer ordeal than a
+formal dinner. Its terrors, however, are often greatly magnified. Such
+a knowledge of the principal points of table etiquette as you may
+acquire from this book, complete self-possession, habits of
+observation, and a fair share of practical good sense, will carry one
+safely if not pleasantly through it.
+
+You may entertain the opinion that such dinners, and formal parties in
+general, are tiresome affairs, and that there might be quite as much
+real courtesy and a great deal more enjoyment with less ceremony, and
+we may entirely agree with you; but what _is_, and not what _might
+be_, is the point to be elucidated. We are to take society as we find
+it. You may, as a general rule, decline invitations to dinner parties
+without any breach of good manners, and without giving offense, if you
+think that neither your enjoyment nor your interests will be promoted
+by accepting; or you may not go into what is technically called
+"society" at all, and yet you are liable, at a hotel, on board a
+steamer, or on some extraordinary occasion, to be placed in a position
+in which ignorance of dinner etiquette will be very mortifying and
+the information contained in this section be worth a hundred times the
+cost of the book.
+
+We now proceed to note the common routine of a fashionable dinner, as
+laid down in books and practiced in polite society. On some points
+usage is not uniform, but varies in different countries, and even in
+different cities in the same country, as well as in different circles
+in the same place. For this reason you must not rely wholly upon this
+or any other manners book, but, keeping your eyes open and your wits
+about you, _wait and see what others do_, and follow the prevailing
+mode.
+
+
+1. _Invitations._
+
+Invitations to a dinner are usually issued several days before the
+appointed time--the length of time being proportioned to the grandeur
+of the occasion. On receiving one, you should answer at once,
+addressing the lady of the house. You should either accept or decline
+unconditionally, as they will wish to know whom to expect, and make
+their preparations accordingly.
+
+
+2. _Dress._
+
+You must go to a dinner party in "full dress." Just what this is, is a
+question of time and place. Strictly interpreted, it allows gentlemen
+but little choice. A black dress coat and trowsers, a black or white
+vest and cravat, white gloves, and pumps and silk stockings were
+formerly rigorously insisted upon. But the freedom-loving "spirit of
+the age" has already made its influence felt even in the realms of
+fashion, and a little more latitude is now allowed in most circles.
+The "American Gentleman's Guide" enumerates the essentials of a
+gentleman's dress for occasions of ceremony in general, as follows:
+
+"A stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color and of
+unexceptionable quality, nether garments to correspond, or in warm
+weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a
+fashionable material and make, the finest and purest linen,
+embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest of some dark or
+neutral tint, according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the
+wearer and the _prevailing mode_; an entirely fresh-looking,
+fashionable black hat, and carefully-fitted modish boots, white
+gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief."
+
+A lady's "full dress" is not easily defined, and fashion allows her
+greater scope for the exercise of her taste in the selection of
+materials, the choice of colors, and the style of making. Still, she
+must "be in the fashion."
+
+
+3. _Punctuality._
+
+Never allow yourself to be a minute behind the time. The dinner can
+not be served till all the guests have arrived. If it is spoiled
+through your tardiness, you are responsible not only to your inviter,
+but to his outraged guests. Better be too late for the steamer or the
+railway train than for a dinner!
+
+
+4. _Going to the Table._
+
+When dinner is announced, the host rises and requests all to walk to
+the dining-room, to which he leads the way, having given his arm to
+the lady who, from age or any other consideration, is entitled to
+precedence. Each gentleman offers his arm to a lady, and all follow in
+order. If you are not the principal guest, you must be careful not to
+offer your arm to the handsomest or most distinguished lady.
+
+
+5. _Arrangement of Guests._
+
+Where rank or social position are regarded (and where are they not to
+some extent?), the two most distinguished gentlemen are placed next
+the mistress of the house, and the two most distinguished ladies next
+the master of the house. The right hand is especially the place of
+honor. If it is offered to you, you should not refuse it.
+
+It is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrange
+the guests, and to place them in such a manner that the conversation
+may always be general during the entertainment. If the number of
+gentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies, we should take care
+to intermingle them. We should separate husbands from their wives, and
+remove near relations as far from one another as possible, because
+being always together they ought not to converse among themselves in a
+general party.
+
+
+6. _Duties of the Host._
+
+To perform faultlessly the honors of the table is one of the most
+difficult things in society; it might indeed be asserted, without much
+fear of contradiction, that no man has as yet ever reached exact
+propriety in his office as host. When he receives others, he must be
+content to forget himself; he must relinquish all desire to shine, and
+even all attempts to please his guests by conversation, and rather do
+all in his power to let them please one another.
+
+Help ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy, moderation, and
+fastidiousness of their appetites; and do not overload the plate of
+any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission.
+It spoils the meat for some persons.
+
+Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes; never
+ask persons more than once, and never put anything by force upon their
+plates. It is extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to press
+one to eat of anything.
+
+The host should never recommend or eulogize any particular dish; his
+guests will take it for granted that anything found at his table is
+excellent.
+
+The most important maxim in hospitality is to leave every one to his
+own choice and enjoyment, and to free him _from an ever-present sense
+of being entertained_. You should never send away your own plate until
+all your guests have finished.
+
+
+7. _Duties of the Guests._
+
+Gentlemen must be assiduous but not officious in their attentions to
+the ladies. See that they lack nothing, but do not seem to watch them.
+
+If a "grace" is to be asked, treat the observance with respect. Good
+manners require this, even if veneration fails to suggest it.
+
+Soup will come first. _You must not decline it_; because nothing else
+can be served till the first course is finished, and to sit with
+nothing before you would be awkward. But you may eat as little of it
+as you choose. The host serves his left-hand neighbor first, then his
+right hand, and so on till all are served. Take whatever is given you,
+and do _not_ offer it to your neighbor; and begin at once to eat. You
+must not suck soup into your month, blow it, or send for a second
+plate. The second course is fish, which is to be eaten with a fork,
+and without vegetables. The last part of this injunction does not, of
+course, apply to informal dinners, where fish is the principal dish.
+Fish, like soup, is served but once. When you have eaten what you
+wish, you lay your fork on your plate, and the waiter removes it. The
+third course brings the principal dishes--roast and boiled meats,
+fowl, etc., which are followed by game. There are also side dishes of
+various kinds. At dessert, help the ladies near you to whatever they
+may require. Serve strawberries with a spoon, but pass cherries,
+grapes, or peaches for each to help himself with his fingers. You need
+not volunteer to pare an apple or a peach for a lady, but should do
+so, of course, at her request, using her fork or some other than your
+own to hold it.
+
+We have said in our remarks on table manners in general, in a previous
+chapter, that in sending your plate for anything, you should leave
+your knife and fork upon it. For this injunction we have the authority
+of most of the books on etiquette, as well as of general usage. There
+seems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact, that to hold
+them in your hand would be awkward, and to lay them on the table-cloth
+might soil it; but the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide,"
+whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned, says
+that they should be retained, and either kept together in the hand, or
+rested upon your bread, to avoid soiling the cloth.
+
+Eat deliberately and decorously (there can be no harm in repeating
+this precept), masticate your food thoroughly, and _beware of drinking
+too much ice-water_.
+
+If your host is not a "temperance man," that is, one pledged to total
+abstinence, wine will probably be drunk. You can of course decline,
+but you must do so courteously, and without any reflection upon those
+who drink. You are not invited to deliver a temperance lecture.
+
+Where finger-glasses are used, dip the tips of your fingers in the
+water and wipe them on your napkin; and wet a corner of the napkin and
+wipe your mouth. Snobs sometimes wear gloves at table. It is not
+necessary that you should imitate them.
+
+The French fashion of having the principal dishes carved on a
+side-table, and served by attendants, is now very generally adopted at
+ceremonious dinners in this country, but few gentlemen who go into
+company at all can safely count upon never being called upon to carve,
+and the _art_ is well worth acquiring. Ignorance of it sometimes
+places one in an awkward position. You will find directions on this
+subject in almost any cook-book; you will learn more, however, by
+watching an accomplished carver than in any other way.
+
+Do not allow yourself to be too much engrossed in attending to the
+wants of the stomach, to join in the cheerful interchange of
+civilities and thoughts with those near you.
+
+We must leave a hundred little things connected with a dinner party
+unmentioned; but what we have said here, together with the general
+canons of eating laid down in Chapter VI. (Section 7, "Table
+Manners"), and a little observation, will soon make you a proficient
+in the etiquette of these occasions, in which, if you will take our
+advice, you will not participate very frequently. An _informal_
+dinner, at which you meet two or three friends, and find more cheer
+and less ceremony, is much to be preferred.
+
+
+II.--EVENING PARTIES.
+
+Evening parties are of various kinds, and more or less ceremonious, as
+they are more or less fashionable. Their object is or should be social
+enjoyment, and the manners of the company ought to be such as will
+best promote it. A few hints, therefore, in addition to the general
+maxims of good behavior already laid down, will suffice.
+
+
+1. _Invitations._
+
+Having accepted an invitation to a party, never fail to keep your
+promise, and especially do not allow bad weather, of any ordinary
+character, to prevent your attendance. A married man should never
+accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included.
+
+
+2. _Salutations._
+
+When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the
+lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most
+intimate friends are enveloped in an opake atmosphere until you have
+made your bow to your entertainer.[I] You then mix with the company,
+salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may
+converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without
+the formality of an introduction.
+
+
+3. _Conversation._
+
+When conversation is not general, nor the subject sufficiently
+interesting to occupy the whole company, they break up into different
+groups. Each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on his
+right and left. We should, if we wish to speak to any one, avoid
+leaning upon the person who happens to be between. A gentleman ought
+not to lean upon the arm of a lady's chair, but he may, if standing,
+support himself by the back of it, in order to converse with the lady
+partly turned toward him.[J]
+
+The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing one
+with another at a party.
+
+
+4. _French Leave._
+
+If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up, take "French
+leave"--that is, go quietly out without disturbing any one, and
+without saluting even the mistress of the house, unless you can do so
+without attracting attention. The contrary course would interrupt the
+rest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations
+and ceremony.
+
+
+5. _Sports and Games._
+
+Among young people, and particularly in the country, a variety of
+sports or plays, as they are called, are in vogue. Some of them are
+fitting only for children; but others are more intellectual, and may
+be made sources of improvement as well as of amusement.
+
+Entering into the spirit of these sports, we throw off some of the
+restraints of a more formal intercourse; but they furnish no excuse
+for rudeness. You must not forget your politeness in your hilarity, or
+allow yourself to "take liberties," or lose your sense of delicacy and
+propriety.
+
+The selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies, though any
+person may modestly propose any amusement, and ask the opinion of
+others in reference to it. The person who gives the party will
+exercise her prerogative to vary the play, that the interest may be
+kept up.
+
+If this were the proper place, we should enter an earnest protest
+against the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of the
+performances in some of these games, but it is not our office to
+proscribe or introduce observances, but to regulate them. No true
+gentleman will _abuse_ the freedom which the laws of the game allows;
+but if required, will delicately kiss the hand, the forehead, or, at
+most, the cheek of the lady. A lady will offer her lips to be kissed
+only to a lover or a husband, and not to him in company. The French
+code is a good one: "Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheek
+to a friend, but keep your lips for your lover."
+
+Never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any of
+the company, and "pay" those which may be adjudged to you with
+cheerful promptness.
+
+
+6. _Dancing._
+
+An evening party is often only another name for a ball. We may have as
+many and as weighty objections to dancing, as conducted at these
+fashionable parties, as to the formal dinners and rich and late
+suppers which are in vogue in the same circles, but this is not the
+place to discuss the merits of the quadrille or the waltz, but to lay
+down the etiquette of the occasions on which they are practiced. We
+condense from the various authorities before us the following code:
+
+1. According to the hours now in fashion in our large cities, ten
+o'clock is quite early enough to present yourself at a dance. You will
+even then find many coming after you. In the country, you should go
+earlier.
+
+2. Draw on your gloves (white or yellow) in the dressing-room, and do
+not be for one moment with them off in the dancing-rooms. At supper
+take them off; nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves.
+
+3. When you are sure of a place in the dance, you go up to a lady and
+ask her if she will _do you the honor_ to dance with you. If she
+answers that she is engaged, merely request her to name the earliest
+dance for which she is not engaged, and when she will do you the honor
+of dancing with you.
+
+4. If a gentleman offers to dance with a lady, she should not refuse,
+unless for some _particular_ and _valid_ reason, in which case she
+can accept the next offer. But if she has no further objection than a
+temporary dislike or a piece of coquetry, it is a direct insult to him
+to refuse him and accept the next offer; besides, it shows too marked
+a preference for the latter.
+
+5. When a woman is standing in a quadrille, though not engaged in
+dancing, a man not acquainted with her partner should not converse
+with her.
+
+6. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprize him of
+his error; but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving him
+a lesson.
+
+7. Unless a man has a very graceful figure, and can use it with great
+elegance, it is better for him to _walk_ through the quadrilles, or
+invent some gliding movement for the occasion.
+
+8. At the end of the dance, the gentleman re-conducts the lady to her
+place, bows, and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. She
+also bows in silence.
+
+9. The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance. He
+should take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as
+_drapery_ to the walls of the ball-room (or _wall flowers_, as the
+familiar expression is), and should see that they are invited to
+dance.
+
+10. Ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast before
+those who dance but little or not at all, of the great number of
+dances for which they are engaged in advance. They should also,
+without being perceived, recommend these less fortunate ladies to
+gentlemen of their acquaintance.
+
+11. For any of the members, either sons or daughters, of the family at
+whose house the ball is given, to dance frequently or constantly,
+denotes decided ill-breeding; the ladies should not occupy those
+places in a quadrille which others may wish to fill, and they should,
+moreover, be at leisure to attend to the rest of the company; and the
+gentlemen should be entertaining the married women and those who do
+not dance.
+
+12. Never hazard taking part in a quadrille, unless you know how to
+dance tolerably; for if you are a novice, or but little skilled, you
+would bring disorder into the midst of pleasure.
+
+13. If you accompany your wife to a dance, be careful not to dance
+with her, except perhaps the first set.
+
+14. When that long and anxiously desiderated hour, the hour of supper,
+has arrived, you hand the lady you attend up or down to the
+supper-table. You remain with her while she is at the table, seeing
+that she has all that she desires, and then conduct her back to the
+dancing-rooms.
+
+15. A gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first set
+with her, and may afterward introduce her to a friend for the purpose
+of dancing.
+
+16. Ball-room introductions cease with the object--viz.: dancing; nor
+subsequently anywhere else can a gentleman approach the lady by
+salutation or in any other mode without a re-introduction of a formal
+character.
+
+This code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionable
+dancing parties in the city, though most of the rules should be
+adhered to in any place. The good sense of the reader will enable him
+to modify them to suit any particular occasion.
+
+
+III.--ANNUAL FESTIVALS.
+
+
+1. _Christmas._
+
+At Christmas people give parties and make presents. In Europe, and in
+some portions of our own country, it is the most important festive
+occasion in the year. Beyond the religious observances of the
+Catholics, Episcopalians, and some other sects, and the universal
+custom of making presents to all our relatives and intimate friends,
+and especially to the children, there is no matter of etiquette
+peculiar to Christmas which it is necessary for us to note. We have
+already spoken of presents; and religious ceremonies will find a place
+in another chapter.
+
+
+2. _The New Year._
+
+In New York, and some other cities and towns which have adopted its
+customs, every gentleman is expected to call on all his lady
+acquaintances on New Year's day; and each lady on her part must be
+prepared properly to do the honors of her house. Refreshments are
+usually provided in great profusion. The etiquette of these occasions
+does not differ materially from that of ceremonious morning calls,
+except that the entire day is devoted to them, and they may be
+extended beyond the limits of one's ordinary visiting list. The ladies
+may make their calls on the next day, or any time within the week.
+
+
+3. _Thanksgiving._
+
+This is the great family festival of New England--the season of home
+gatherings. Sons and daughters, scattered far and wide, then turn
+instinctively toward the old homestead, and the fireside of their
+childhood is again made glad by their presence and that of their
+little ones. Etiquette requires fat turkeys, well roasted, a plenty of
+_pumpkin pies_, unbounded hospitality, genuine friendliness, and
+cheerful and thankful hearts.
+
+
+4. _Birthdays._
+
+Birthdays are sometimes made family festivals at which parties are
+given, and presents made to the one whose anniversary is celebrated.
+In France, these occasions are observed with great merry making and
+many felicitations and gifts.
+
+
+IV.--EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS.
+
+Picnic excursions into the country are not occasions of ceremony, but
+call for the exercise of all one's real good nature and good breeding.
+On leaving the carriage, cars, or steamboat, gentlemen should of
+course relieve the ladies they attend of the shawls, baskets, etc.,
+with which they may have provided themselves, and give them all
+necessary assistance in reaching the spot selected for the
+festivities. It is also their duty and their happiness to accompany
+them in their rambles, when it is the pleasure of the fair ones to
+require their attendance, but _not_ to be _obtrusive_. They may
+sometimes wish to be alone.
+
+If a lady chooses to seat herself upon the ground, you are not at
+liberty to follow her example unless she invites you to be seated. She
+must not have occasion to think of the possibility of any impropriety
+on your part. You are her servant, protector, and guard of honor. You
+will of course give her your hand to assist her in rising. When the
+sylvan repast is served, you will see that the ladies whose cavalier
+you have the honor to be, lack nothing. The ladies, social queens
+though they be, should not forget that every favor or act of courtesy
+and deference, by whoever shown, demands some acknowledgment on their
+part--a word, a bow, a smile, or at least a kind look.
+
+
+V.--WEDDINGS.
+
+We copy from one of the numerous manners books before us the following
+condensed account of the usual ceremonies of a formal wedding. A
+simpler, less ceremonious, and more private mode of giving legal
+sanction to an already existing union of hearts would be more to _our_
+taste; but, as the French proverb has it, _Chacun à son goût_.[K]
+
+For a stylish wedding, the lady requires a bridegroom, two
+bridesmaids, two groomsmen, and a parson or magistrate, her relatives
+and whatever friends of both parties they may choose to invite. For a
+formal wedding in the evening, a week's notice is requisite. The lady
+fixes the day. Her mother or nearest female relation invites the
+guests. The evening hour is 8 o'clock; but if the ceremony is private,
+and the happy couple to start immediately and alone, the ceremony
+usually takes place in the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock.
+
+If there is an evening party, the refreshments must be as usual on
+such occasions, with the addition of wedding cake, commonly a pound
+cake with rich frosting, and a fruit cake.
+
+The dress of the bride is of the purest white; her head is commonly
+dressed with orange flowers, natural or artificial, and white roses.
+She wears few ornaments, and none but such as are given her for the
+occasion. A white lace vail is often worn on the head. White long
+gloves and white satin slippers complete the costume.
+
+The dress of the bridegroom is simply the full dress of a gentleman,
+of unusual richness and elegance.
+
+The bridesmaids are dressed also in white, but more simply than the
+bride.
+
+At the hour appointed for the ceremony, the second bridesmaid and
+groomsman, when there are two, enter the room; then, first bridesmaid
+and groomsman; and lastly the bride and bridegroom. They enter, the
+ladies taking the arms of the gentlemen, and take seats appointed, so
+that the bride is at the right of the bridegroom, and each supported
+by their respective attendants.
+
+A chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate in front of the
+happy pair. When he comes forward to perform the ceremony, the bridal
+party rises. The first bridesmaid, at the proper time, removes the
+glove from the left hand of the bride; or, what seems to us more
+proper, both bride and bridegroom have their gloves removed at the
+beginning of the ceremony. In joining hands they take each other's
+right hand, the bride and groom partially turning toward each other.
+The wedding ring, of plain fine gold, provided beforehand by the
+groom, is sometimes given to the clergyman, who presents it. It is
+placed upon the third finger of the left hand.
+
+When the ceremony is ended, and the twain are pronounced one flesh,
+the company present their congratulations--the clergyman first, then
+the mother, the father of the bride, and the relations; then the
+company, the groomsmen acting as masters of ceremonies, bringing
+forward and introducing the ladies, who wish the happy couple joy,
+happiness, prosperity; but not exactly "many happy returns."
+
+The bridegroom takes an early occasion to thank the clergyman, and to
+put in his hand, at the same time, nicely enveloped, a piece of gold,
+according to his ability and generosity. The gentleman who dropped two
+half dollars into the minister's hands, as they were held out, in the
+prayer, was a little confused by the occasion.
+
+When a dance follows the ceremony and congratulations, the bride
+dances, first, with the first groomsman, taking the head of the room
+and the quadrille, and the bridegroom with the first bridesmaid;
+afterwards as they please. The party breaks up early--certainly by
+twelve o'clock.[L]
+
+The cards of the newly married couple are sent to those only whose
+acquaintance they wish to continue. No offense should be taken by
+those whom they may choose to exclude. Send your card, therefore, with
+the lady's, to all whom you desire to include in the circle of your
+future acquaintances. The lady's card will have engraved upon it,
+below her name, "At home, ---- evening, at--o'clock." They should be
+sent a week previous to the evening indicated.
+
+
+VI.--FUNERALS.
+
+When any member of a family is dead, it is customary to send
+intelligence of the misfortune to all who have been connected with the
+deceased in relations of business or friendship. The letters which are
+sent contain a special invitation to assist at the funeral. Such a
+letter requires no answer.
+
+At an interment or funeral service, the members of the family are
+entitled to the first places. They are nearest to the coffin, whether
+in the procession or in the church. The nearest relations go in a full
+mourning dress.
+
+We are excused from accompanying the body to the burying-ground,
+unless the deceased be a relation or an intimate friend. If we go as
+far as the burying-ground, we should give the first carriage to the
+relations or most intimate friends of the deceased. We should walk
+with the head uncovered, silently, and with such a mien as the
+occasion naturally suggests.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[I] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[J] Madame Celnart
+
+[K] Each one to his taste.
+
+[L] "Manners Book."
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.
+
+    To ladies always yield your seat,
+    And lift your hat upon the street.--_Uncle Dan._
+
+
+I.--ON THE STREET.
+
+Nowhere has a man or a woman occasion more frequently to exercise the
+virtue of courtesy than on the street; and in no place is the
+distinction between the polite and the vulgar more marked. The
+following are some of the rules of street etiquette:
+
+Except in a case of necessity, you should not stop a business man on
+the street during business hours. He may have appointments, and, in
+any event, his time is precious. If you must speak with him, walk on
+in his direction, or if you detain him, state your errand briefly, and
+politely apologize for the detention.
+
+Do not allow yourself to be so absent-minded or absorbed in your
+business as not to recognize and salute your acquaintances on the
+street. You must not make the pressure of your affairs an excuse for
+rudeness. If you do not intend to stop, on meeting a friend, touch
+your hat, say "Good-morning," or "I hope you are well," and pass on.
+If you stop, you may offer a gloved hand, if necessary, without
+apology. Waiting to draw off a tight glove is awkward. In stopping to
+talk on the street, you should step aside from the human current. If
+you are compelled to detain a friend, when he is walking with a
+stranger, apologize to the stranger and release your friend as soon as
+possible. The stranger will withdraw, in order not to hear your
+conversation. Never leave a friend suddenly on the street, either to
+join another or for any other reason, without a brief apology.
+
+In walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in age or station,
+give them the place of honor, by taking yourself the outer side of the
+pavement.
+
+When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted, you should lift
+your hat, as you bow to her; but unless you are intimate friends, it
+is the lady's duty to give some sign of recognition first, as she
+might _possibly_ choose to "cut" you, and thus place you in a very
+awkward position; but unless you have forfeited all claims to respect,
+she certainly _should_ not do such a thing.
+
+In meeting a gentleman whom you know, walking with a lady with whom
+you are not acquainted, you are to bow with grave respect to her
+also.[M] If you are acquainted with both, you bow first to the lady,
+and then, less profoundly, to the gentleman.
+
+If your glove be dark colored, or your hand ungloved, do not offer to
+shake hands with a lady in full dress. If you wish to speak with a
+lady whom you meet on the street, turn and walk with her; but you
+should not accompany her far, except at her request, and should always
+lift your hat and bow upon withdrawing.
+
+Be careful to avoid intrusion everywhere; and for this reason be very
+sure that such an addition to their party would be perfectly agreeable
+before you join a lady and gentleman who may be walking together;
+otherwise you might find yourself in the position of an "awkward
+third."
+
+In walking with ladies on the street, gentlemen will of course treat
+them with the most scrupulous _politeness_. This requires that you
+place yourself in that relative position in which you can best shield
+them from danger or inconvenience. You generally give them the wall
+side, but circumstances may require you to reverse this position.
+
+You must offer your arm to a lady with whom you are walking whenever
+her safety, comfort, or convenience may seem to require such attention
+on your part. At night, in taking a long walk in the country, or in
+ascending the steps of a public building, your arm should always be
+tendered.
+
+In walking with ladies or elderly people, a gentleman must not forget
+to accommodate his speed to theirs. In walking with _any_ person you
+should _keep step_ with military precision.
+
+If a lady with whom you are walking receives the salute of a person
+who is a stranger to you, you should return it, not for yourself, but
+for her.
+
+When a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a shop, or _store_ (if
+we must use an Americanism to explain a good English word), you should
+hold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable; for
+you must never pass before a lady anywhere, if you can avoid it, or
+without an apology.
+
+If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he will
+lift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If he
+can not give the information required, he will express his regrets.
+
+"When tripping over the pavement," Madame Celnart says, "a lady should
+gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle. With her right
+hand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw them
+toward the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both
+hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can be tolerated only for a
+moment, when the mud is very deep." This was written in Paris, and not
+in New York.
+
+American ladies dress too richly and elaborately for the street. You
+should dress well--neatly and in good taste, and in material adapted
+to the season; but the full costume, suitable to the carriage or the
+drawing-room, is entirely out of place in a shopping excursion, and
+does not indicate a refined taste; in other words, it looks
+_snobbish_.
+
+The out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or a
+mantle. Shawls are difficult to wear gracefully, and few American
+ladies wear them well. You should not drag a shawl tight to your
+shoulders, and stick out your elbows, but fold it loosely and
+gracefully, so that it may fully envelop the figure.
+
+
+II.--SHOPPING.
+
+Madame Celnart has the following hints to the ladies on this important
+subject. Having enjoined the most patient and forbearing courtesy on
+the part of the shopkeeper,[N] she proceeds:
+
+"Every civility ought to be reciprocal, or nearly so. If the officious
+politeness of the shopkeeper does not require an equal return, he has
+at least a claim to civil treatment; and, finally, if this politeness
+proceed from interest, is this a reason why purchasers should add to
+the unpleasantness of his profession, and disregard violating the
+laws of politeness? Many very respectable people allow themselves so
+many infractions in this particular, that I think it my duty to dwell
+upon it.
+
+"You should never say, _I want such a thing_, but _Show me, if you
+please, that article_, or use some other polite form of address. If
+they do not show you at first the articles you desire, and you are
+obliged to examine a great number, apologize to the shopkeeper for the
+trouble you give him. If after all you can not suit yourself, renew
+your apologies when you go away.
+
+"If you make small purchases, say, _I am sorry for having troubled you
+for so trifling a thing_. If you spend a considerable time in the
+selection of articles, apologize to the shopkeeper who waits for you
+to decide.
+
+"If the price seems to you too high, and the shop has not fixed
+prices, ask an abatement in brief and civil terms, and without ever
+appearing to suspect the good faith of the shopkeeper. If he does not
+yield, do not enter into a contest with him, but go away, after
+telling him politely that you think you can obtain the article cheaper
+elsewhere, but if not, that you will give him the preference."
+
+
+III.--AT CHURCH.
+
+If you go to church, be in season, that you may not interrupt the
+congregation by entering after the services have commenced. The
+celebrated Mrs. Chapone said that it was a part of her religion not to
+disturb the religion of others. We may all adopt with profit that
+article of her creed. Always remove your hat on entering a church. If
+you attend ladies, you open the door of the slip for them, allowing
+them to enter first. Your demeanor should of course be such as becomes
+the place and occasion. If you are so unfortunate as to have no
+religious feelings yourself, you must respect those of others.
+
+It is the custom in some places for gentlemen who may be already in a
+slip or pew to deploy into the aisle, on the arrival of a lady who may
+desire admittance, allow her to enter, and then resume their seats.
+This is a very awkward and annoying maneuver.
+
+You should pay due respect to the observances of the church you
+attend. If you have conscientious scruples against kneeling in an
+Episcopal or Catholic church, you should be a little more
+conscientious, and stay away.
+
+Good manners do not require young gentlemen to stand about the door of
+a church to see the ladies come out; and the ladies will excuse the
+omission of this mark of admiration.
+
+
+IV.--AT PLACES OF AMUSEMENT.
+
+Gentlemen who attend ladies to the opera, to concerts, to lectures,
+etc., should endeavor to go early in order to secure good seats,
+unless, indeed, they have been previously secured, and to avoid the
+disagreeable crowd which they are liable to encounter if they go a
+little later.
+
+Gentlemen _should_ take off their hats on entering _any_ public room
+(or dwelling either). They will, of course, do so if attending ladies,
+on showing them their seats. Having taken your seats, remain quietly
+in them, and avoid, unless absolute necessity require it, incommoding
+others by crowding out and in before them. If obliged to do this,
+politely apologize for the trouble you cause them.
+
+To talk during the performance is an act of rudeness and injustice.
+You thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights of
+others, who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers, and
+not for listening to you.
+
+If you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera, concert, or
+lecture, you should retain your seat at her side; but if you have no
+lady with you, and have taken a desirable seat, you should, if need
+be, cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady, for one less
+eligible.
+
+Be careful to secure your _libretto_ or opera book, concert bill or
+programme, before taking your seat.
+
+To the opera, ladies should wear opera hoods, which are to be taken
+off on entering. In this country, custom _permits_ the wearing of
+bonnets; but as they are (in our opinion) neither comfortable nor
+beautiful, we advise the ladies to dispense with their use whenever
+they can.
+
+Gloves should be worn by ladies in church, and in places of public
+amusement. Do not take them off to shake hands. Great care should be
+taken that they are well made and fit neatly.
+
+
+V.--IN A PICTURE GALLERY.
+
+A gallery of paintings or sculpture is a temple of Art, and he is
+little better than a barbarian who can enter it without a feeling of
+reverence for the presiding divinity of the place. Loud talking,
+laughing, pushing before others who are examining a picture or statue,
+moving seats noisily, or any rude or discourteous conduct, seems like
+profanation in such a place. Avoid them by all means, we entreat you;
+and though you wear your hat everywhere else, reverently remove it
+here.
+
+
+VI.--THE PRESENCE.
+
+"The mode in which respect to the presence of a human being should be
+shown maybe left to custom. In the East, men take off their shoes
+before entering an apartment. We take off the hat, and add a verbal
+salutation. The mode is unimportant; it may vary with the humor of the
+moment; it may change with the changing fashion; but no one who
+respects himself, and has a proper regard for others, will omit to
+give _some_ sign that he recognizes an essential difference between a
+horse and a man, between a stable and a house."[O]
+
+
+VII.--­TRAVELING.
+
+Under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded, or rudeness
+more frequently displayed, than in traveling. The infelicities and
+vexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all the
+latent selfishness of one's nature; and the commonest observances of
+politeness are, we are sorry to say, sometimes neglected. In the
+scramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at a
+public table, good manners are too frequently elbowed aside and
+trampled under foot. Even our national deference for women is
+occasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway cars
+or the steamer.
+
+To avoid the scramble we have alluded to, purchase tickets and secure
+state-rooms in advance, if practicable, especially if you are
+accompanied by ladies, and, in any event, _be in good time_.
+
+In the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personal
+comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment the
+rights of your fellow-travelers, or forget the respectful courtesy
+due to woman. The pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to the
+ladies, and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them with
+a cheerful politeness. In a stage-coach you give them the back seat,
+unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself, if their
+convenience requires it. But a word to--_Americans_ will be enough on
+this point.
+
+And what do good manners require of the ladies? That which is but a
+little thing to the bestower, but of priceless value to the
+receiver--_thanks_--a smile--a grateful look at least. Is this too
+much?
+
+Mr. Arbiter, whom we find quoted in a newspaper, has some rather
+severe strictures on the conduct of American ladies. He says:
+
+"We boast of our politeness as a nation, and point out to foreigners,
+with pride, the alacrity with which Americans make way for women in
+all public places. Some love to call this chivalry. It is certainly an
+amiable trait of character, though frequently carried to an absurd
+extent. But what the men possess in this form of politeness the women
+appear to have lost. They never think of acknowledging, in any way,
+the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat, but settle
+themselves triumphantly in their new places, as if they were entitled
+to them by divine right."
+
+We are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance of
+truth in this charge. We have had constant opportunities to observe
+the behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowded
+ferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and their
+suburbs. We have, of course (as what gentleman has not?), relinquished
+our seats hundreds of times to ladies. _For the occasional bow or
+smile of acknowledgment, or_ _pleasant "Thank you," which we have
+received in return, we have almost invariably been indebted to some
+fair foreigner._
+
+We believe that American ladies are as polite _at heart_ as those of
+any other nation, but _they do not say it_.
+
+The fair readers of our little book will, we are sure, excuse us for
+these hints, since they are dictated by the truest and most reverent
+love for their sex, and a sincere desire to serve them.
+
+If in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid, or an
+aged person, or a woman with children and without a male protector,
+feelings of humanity, as well as sentiments of politeness, will
+dictate such kind attentions as, without being obtrusive, you can find
+occasion to bestow.
+
+You have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation, if the
+current of air thus produced annoy or endanger the health of another.
+There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best,
+and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them as much as
+possible, and to cheerfully bear his own part. Life is a journey, and
+we are all fellow-travelers.
+
+If in riding in an omnibus, or crossing a ferry with a friend, he
+wishes to pay for you, never insist on paying for yourself or for
+both. If he is before you, let the matter pass without remark, and
+return the compliment on another occasion.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[M] "Colonel Lunettes"
+
+[N] For hints on the importance of politeness as an element of success
+in business, see "How to Do Business."
+
+[O] James Parton.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+LOVE AND COURTSHIP.
+
+    Learn to win a lady's faith
+      Nobly, as the thing is high;
+    Bravely, as for life and death,
+      With a loyal gravity.
+    Lead her from the festive boards;
+      Point her to the starry skies;
+    Guard her by your truthful words
+      Pure from courtship's flatteries.--_Mrs. Browning._
+
+
+I.--A HINT OR TWO.
+
+To treat the subject of love and courtship in all its bearings would
+require a volume. It is with the etiquette of the tender passion that
+we have to do here. A few preliminary hints, however, will not be
+deemed out of place.
+
+Boys often fall in love (and girls too, we believe) at a very tender
+age. Some charming cousin, or a classmate of his sister, in the
+village school, weaves silken meshes around the throbbing heart of the
+young man in his teens. This is well. He is made better and happier by
+his boyish loves--for he generally has a succession of them, but they
+are seldom permanent. They are only beautiful foreshadowings of the
+deeper and more earnest love of manhood, which is to bind him to his
+_other self_ with ties which only death can sever. Read Ik Marvel's
+"Dream Life."
+
+Before a young man has reached the proper age to marry--say
+twenty-five, as an average--he ought to have acquired such a knowledge
+of himself, physically and mentally considered, and of the principles
+which ought to decide the choice of matrimonial partners and govern
+the relations of the sexes, as will enable him to set up a proper
+standard of female excellence, and to determine what qualities,
+physical and mental, should characterize the woman who is to be the
+angel of his home and the mother of his children. With this knowledge
+he is prepared to go into society and choose his mate, following
+trustingly the attractions of his soul. Love is an affair of the
+heart, but the head should be its privy counselor.
+
+Do not make up your mind to wait till you have acquired a fortune
+before you marry. You should not, however, assume the responsibilities
+of a family without a reasonable prospect of being able to maintain
+one. If you are established in business, or have an adequate income
+for the immediate requirements of the new relation, you may safely
+trust your own energy and self-reliance for the rest.
+
+Women reach maturity earlier than men, and may marry earlier--say (as
+an average age), at twenty. The injunction, "Know thyself," applies
+with as much emphasis to a woman as to a man. Her perceptions are
+keener than ours, and her sensibilities finer, and she may trust more
+to _instinct_, but she should add to these natural qualifications a
+thorough knowledge of her own physical and mental constitution, and of
+whatever relates to the requirements of her destiny as wife and
+mother. The importance of sound _health_ and _a perfect development_,
+can not be overrated. _Without these you are_ NEVER _fit to marry_.[P]
+
+Having satisfied yourself that you really love a woman--be careful, as
+you value your future happiness and hers, not to make a _mistake_ in
+this matter--you will find occasion to manifest, in a thousand ways,
+your preference, by means of those tender but delicate and
+deferential attentions which love always prompts. "Let the heart
+speak." The heart you address will understand its language. Be
+earnest, sincere, self-loyal, and manly in this matter above all
+others. Let there be no nauseous flattery and no sickly sentimentality
+Leave the former to fops and the latter to beardless school-boys.
+
+Though women do not "propose"--that is, as a general rule--they "make
+love" to the men none the less; and it is right. The divine attraction
+is mutual, and should have its proper expression on both sides. If you
+are attracted toward a man who seems to you an embodiment of all that
+is noble and manly, you do injustice both to him and yourself if you
+do not, in some way entirely consistent with maiden modesty, allow him
+to _see_ and _feel_ that he pleases you. But _you_ do not need our
+instructions, and we will only hint, in conclusion, that forwardness,
+flirting, and a too _obtrusive_ manifestation of preference are _not_
+agreeable to men of sense. As a man should be _manly_, so should a
+woman be _womanly_ in her love.
+
+
+II.--OBSERVANCES.
+
+
+1. _Particular Attentions._
+
+Avoid even the slightest appearance of _trifling_ with the feelings of
+a woman. A female coquette is bad enough. A male coquette ought to be
+banished from society. Let there be a clearly perceived, if not an
+easily defined, distinction between the attentions of common courtesy
+or of friendship and those of love. All misunderstanding on this point
+can and must be avoided.
+
+The particular attentions you pay to the object of your devotion
+should not make you rude or uncivil to other women. Every woman is
+_her_ sister, and should be treated with becoming respect and
+attention. Your special attentions to her in society should not be
+such as to make her or you the subject of ridicule. Make no public
+exhibition of your endearments.
+
+
+2. _Presents._
+
+If you make presents, let them be selected with good taste, and of
+such cost as is fully warranted by your means. Your mistress will not
+love you better for any extravagance in this matter. The value of a
+gift is not to be estimated in dollars and cents. A lady of good sense
+and delicacy will discourage in her lover all needless expenditure in
+ministering to her gratification, or in proof of his devotion.
+
+
+3. _Confidants._
+
+Lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their affairs of
+the heart. In general, they should be of the opposite sex. A young man
+may with profit open his heart to his mother, an elder sister, or a
+female friend considerably older than himself. The young lady may with
+equal advantage make a brother, an uncle, or some good middle-aged
+married man the repository of her love secrets, her hopes, and her
+fears.
+
+
+4. _Declarations._
+
+We shall make no attempt to prescribe a form for "popping the
+question." Each must do it in his own way; but let it be clearly
+understood and admit no evasion. A single word--yes, less than that,
+on the lady's part, will suffice to answer it. If the carefully
+studied phrases which you have repeated so many times and so fluently
+to yourself, will persist in sticking in your throat and choking you,
+put them correctly and neatly on a sheet of the finest white note
+paper, inclosed in a fine but plain white envelope (see "How to
+Write"), seal it handsomely with _wax_, address and direct it
+carefully, and find some way to convey it to her hand. The lady's
+answer should be frank and unequivocal, revealing briefly and modestly
+her real feelings and consequent decision.
+
+
+5. _Asking "Pa."_
+
+Asking the consent of parents or guardians is, in this country, where
+women claim a right to choose for themselves, a mere form, and may
+often be dispensed with. The lady's wishes, however, should be
+complied with in this as in all other matters. And if consent is
+refused? This will rarely happen. If it does, there is a remedy, and
+we should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the woman
+who would hesitate to apply it. If she is of age, she has a legal as
+well as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom she
+pleases. If she does not love you well enough to do this, _at any
+sacrifice_, you should consider the refusal of her friends a very
+fortunate occurrence. If she is not of age, the legal aspect of the
+affair may be different, but, at worst, she can wait until her
+majority puts her in possession of all her rights.
+
+
+6. _Refusals._
+
+If a lady finds it necessary to say "no" to a proposal, she should do
+it in the kindest and most considerate manner, so as not to inflict
+unnecessary pain; but her answer should be definite and decisive, and
+the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit. If ladies will my "no"
+when they mean "yes," to a sincere and earnest suitor, they must
+suffer the consequences.
+
+
+7. _Engagement._
+
+The "engaged" need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of
+the relation in which they stand to each other, neither should they
+attempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each other
+should be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct in
+reference to other persons of the opposite sex, such as will not give
+occasion for a single pang of jealousy.
+
+Of the "getting ready," which follows the engagement, on the part of
+the lady, our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tell
+them.
+
+
+8. _Breaking Off._
+
+Engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directions
+contained in the first section of this chapter, will seldom be broken
+off. If such a painful _necessity_ occurs, let it be met with
+firmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a _mistake_, it is
+infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A
+_marriage_ is not so easily "broken off."
+
+On breaking off an engagement, all letters, presents, etc., should be
+returned, and both parties should consider themselves pledged to the
+most honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter,
+and to the private affairs of each other, a knowledge of which their
+former relation may have put into their possession.
+
+
+9. _Marriage._
+
+It devolves upon the lady to fix the day. She will hardly disregard
+the stereotyped request of the impatient lover to make it an "early"
+one; but she knows best how soon the never-to-be-neglected
+"preparations" can be made. For the wedding ceremonies see Chapter
+VII. A few hints to husbands and wives may be found in Chapter V.
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[P] See "Physical Perfection; or How to Acquire and Retain Beauty,
+Grace, and Strength," now (1857) in the course of preparation.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.
+
+     The object of a meeting for deliberation is, of course, to
+     obtain a free expression of opinion and a fair decision of the
+     questions discussed. Without rules of order this object would,
+     in most cases, be utterly defeated; for there would be no
+     uniformity in the modes of proceeding, no restraint upon
+     indecorous or disorderly conduct, no protection to the rights
+     and privileges of members, no guarantee against the caprices
+     and usurpations of the presiding officer, no safeguard against
+     tyrannical majorities, nor any suitable regard to the rights of
+     the minority.--_McElligott._
+
+
+I.--COURTESY IN DEBATE.
+
+The fundamental principles of courtesy, so strenuously insisted upon
+throughout this work, must be rigorously observed in the debating
+society, lyceum, legislative assembly, and wherever questions are
+publicly debated. In fact, we have not yet discovered _any_ occasion
+on which a gentleman is justified in being anything less than--a
+gentleman.
+
+In a paragraph appended to the constitution and by-laws of a New York
+debating club, members are enjoined to treat each other with delicacy
+and respect, conduct all discussions with candor, moderation, and open
+generosity, avoid all personal allusions and sarcastic language
+calculated to wound the feelings of a brother, and cherish concord and
+good fellowship. The spirit of this injunction should pervade the
+heart of every man who attempts to take part in the proceedings of any
+deliberative assembly.
+
+
+II.--ORIGIN OF THE PARLIAMENTARY CODE.
+
+The rules of order of our State Legislatures, and of other less
+important deliberative bodies, are, in almost all fundamental points,
+the same as those of the National Congress, which, again, are
+derived, in the main, from those of the British Parliament, the
+differences which exist growing out of differences in government and
+institutions. It is in allusion to its origin that the code of rules
+and regulations thus generally adopted is often called "The Common
+Code of Parliamentary Law."
+
+
+III.--RULES OF ORDER.
+
+
+1. _Motions._
+
+A deliberative body being duly organized, motions are in order. The
+party moving a resolution, or making a motion in its simplest form,
+introduces it either with or without remarks, by saying: "Mr.
+President, I beg leave to offer the following resolution," or "I move
+that," etc. A motion is not debatable till seconded. The member
+seconding simply says: "I second that motion." The resolution or
+motion is then stated by the chairman, and is open for debate.
+
+
+2. _Speaking._
+
+A member wishing to speak on a question, resolution, or motion, must
+rise in his place and respectfully address his remarks to the chairman
+or president, _confining himself to the question, and avoiding
+personality_. Should more than one member rise at the same time, the
+chairman must decide which is entitled to the floor. No member must
+speak more than once till every member wishing to speak shall have
+spoken. In debating societies (and it is for their benefit that we
+make this abstract) it is necessary to define not only how many times,
+but how long at each time a member may speak on a question.
+
+
+3. _Submitting a Question._
+
+When the debate or deliberation upon a subject appears to be at a
+close, the presiding officer simply asks, "Is the society [assembly,
+or whatever the body may be] ready for the question?" or, "Are you
+ready for the question?" If no one signifies a desire further to
+discuss or consider the subject, he then submits the question in due
+form.
+
+
+4. _Voting._
+
+The voting is generally by "ayes and noes," and the answers on both
+sides being duly given, the presiding officer announces the result,
+saying, "The ayes have it," or, "The noes have it," according as he
+finds one side or the other in the majority. If there is a doubt in
+his mind which side has the larger number, he says, "The ayes _appear_
+to have it," or, "The noes _appear_ to have it," as the case may be.
+If there is no dissent, he adds, "The ayes _have_ it," or, "The noes
+_have_ it." But should the president be unable to decide, or if his
+decision be questioned, and a division of the house be called for, it
+is his duty immediately to divide or arrange the assembly as to allow
+the votes on each side to be accurately counted; and if the members
+are equally divided, the president must give the casting vote. It is
+the duty of every member to vote; but in some deliberative bodies a
+member may be excused at his own request. Sometimes it is deemed
+advisable to record the names of members in connection with the votes
+they give, in which case the roll is called by the secretary, and each
+answers "yes" or "no," which is noted or marked opposite his name.
+
+
+5. _A Quorum._
+
+A quorum is such a number of members as may be required, by rule or
+statute, to be present at a meeting in order to render its
+transactions valid or legal.
+
+
+6. _The Democratic Principle._
+
+All questions, unless their decision be otherwise fixed by law, are
+determined by a majority of votes.
+
+
+7. _Privileged Questions._
+
+There are certain motions which are allowed to supersede a question
+already under debate. These are called privileged questions. The
+following are the usually recognized privileged questions:
+
+1. _Adjournment._--A motion to adjourn is always in order, and takes
+precedence of all others; but it must not be entertained while a
+member is speaking, unless he give way for that purpose, nor while a
+vote is in progress. It is not debatable, and can not be amended.
+
+2. _To Lie on the Table._--A motion to lay a subject on the
+table--that is, to set it aside till it is the pleasure of the body to
+resume its consideration--generally takes precedence of all others,
+except the motion to adjourn. It can neither be debated nor amended.
+
+3. _The Previous Question._--The intention of the previous question is
+to arrest discussion and test at once the sense of the meeting. Its
+form is, "Shall the main question now be put?" It is not debatable,
+and can not be amended. An affirmative decision precludes all further
+debate on the main question. The effect of a negative decision,
+_unless otherwise determined by a special rule_, is to leave the main
+question and all amendments just as it found them.
+
+4. _Postponement._--A motion to postpone the consideration of a
+question indefinitely, which is equivalent to setting it aside
+altogether, may be amended by inserting a certain day. It is not
+debatable.
+
+5. _Commitment._--A motion to commit is made when a question,
+otherwise admissible, is presented in an objectionable or
+inconvenient form. If there be no standing committee to which it can
+be properly submitted, a select committee may be raised for the
+purpose. It may be amended.
+
+6. _Amendment._--The legitimate use of a motion to amend is to correct
+or improve the original motion or resolution; but a motion properly
+before an assembly may be altered in _any_ way; even so as to turn it
+entirely from its original purpose, unless some rule or law shall
+exist to prevent this subversion. An amendment may be amended, but
+here the process must cease. An amendment must of course be put to
+vote before the original question. A motion to amend holds the same
+rank as the previous question and indefinite postponement, and that
+which is moved first must be put first. It may be superseded, however,
+by a motion to postpone to a certain day, or a motion to commit.
+
+7. _Orders of the Day._--Subjects appointed for a specified time are
+called orders of the day, and a motion for them takes precedence of
+all other business, except a motion to adjourn, or a question of
+privilege.
+
+8. _Questions of Privilege._--These are questions which involve the
+rights and privileges of individual members, or of the society or
+assembly collectively. They take precedence over all other
+propositions, except a motion to adjourn.
+
+9. _Questions of Order._--In case of any breach of the rules of the
+society or body, any member may rise to the point of order, and insist
+upon its due enforcement; but in case of a difference of opinion
+whether a rule has been violated or not, the question must be
+determined before the application of the rule can be insisted upon.
+Such a question is usually decided upon by the presiding officer,
+without debate; but any member may appeal from his decision, and
+demand a vote of the house on the matter. A question of order is
+debatable, and the presiding officer, contrary to rule in other cases,
+may participate in the discussion.
+
+10. _Reading of Papers._--When papers or documents of any kind are
+laid before a deliberative assembly, every member has a right to have
+them read before he can be required to vote upon them. They are
+generally read by the secretary, on the reading being called for,
+without the formality of a vote.
+
+11. _Withdrawal of a Motion._--Unless there be a rule to that effect,
+a motion once before the assembly can not be withdrawn without a vote
+of the house, on a motion to allow its withdrawal.
+
+12. _The Suspension of Rules._--When anything is proposed which is
+forbidden by a special rule, it must be preceded by a motion for the
+suspension of the rule, which, if there be no standing rule to the
+contrary, may be carried by a majority of votes; but most deliberative
+bodies have an established rule on this subject, requiring a fixed
+proportion of the votes--usually two thirds.
+
+13. _The Motion to Reconsider._--The intention of this is to enable an
+assembly to revise a decision found to be erroneous. The time within
+which a motion to reconsider may be entertained is generally fixed by
+a special rule; and the general rule is, that it must emanate from
+some member who voted with the majority. In Congress, a motion to
+reconsider takes precedence of all other motions, except the motion to
+adjourn.
+
+
+8. _Order of Business._
+
+In all permanently organized bodies there should be an order of
+business, established by a special rule or by-law; but where no such
+rule or law exists, the president, unless otherwise directed by a
+vote of the assembly, arranges the business in such order as he may
+think most desirable. The following is the order of business of the
+New York Debating Club, referred to in a previous section. It may be
+easily so modified as to be suitable for any similar society:
+
+  1. Call to order.
+  2. Calling the roll.
+  3. Reading the minutes of previous meeting.
+  4. Propositions for membership.
+  5. Reports of special committee.
+  6. Balloting for candidates.
+  7. Reports of standing committee.
+  8. Secretary's report.
+  9. Treasurer's report.
+  10. Reading for the evening.
+  11. Recitations for the evening.
+  12. Candidates initiated.
+  13. Unfinished business.
+  14. Debate.
+  15. New business.
+  16. Adjournment.
+
+
+9. _Order of Debate._
+
+1. A member having got the floor, is entitled to be heard to the end,
+or till the time fixed by rule has expired; and all interruptions,
+except a call to order, are not only out of order, but rude in the
+extreme.
+
+2. A member who temporarily yields the floor to another, is generally
+permitted to resume as soon as the interruption ceases, but he can not
+claim to do so as a right.
+
+3. It is neither in order nor in good taste to designate members by
+name in debate, and they must in no case be directly addressed. Such
+forms as, "The gentleman who has just taken his seat," or, "The member
+on the other side of the house," etc., may be made use of to designate
+persons.
+
+4. Every speaker is bound to confine himself to the question. This
+rule is, however, very liberally interpreted in most deliberative
+assemblies.
+
+5. Every speaker is bound to avoid personalities, and to exercise in
+all respects a courteous and gentlemanly deportment. Principles and
+measures are to be discussed, and not the motives or character of
+those who advocate them.[Q]
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[Q] The foregoing rules of order have been mainly condensed from that
+excellent work, "The American Debater," by James N. McElligott, LL.D.,
+to which the reader is referred for a complete exposition of the whole
+subject of debating. Published by Ivison and Phinney, New York, and
+for sale by Fowler and Wells.
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.
+
+     These, some will say, are little things. It is true, they are
+     little but it is equally clear that they are necessary
+     things.--_Chesterfield._
+
+
+I.--REPUBLICAN DISTINCTIONS.
+
+We have defined equality in another place. We fully accept the
+doctrine as there set forth. We have no respect for mere conventional
+and arbitrary distinctions. Hereditary titles command no deference
+from us. Lords and dukes are entitled to no respect simply because
+they are lords and dukes. If they are really _noble men_, we honor
+them accordingly. Their titles are mere social fictions.
+
+True republicanism requires that every man shall have an equal
+chance--that every man shall be free to become as unequal as he can.
+No man should be valued the less or the more on account of his
+grandfather, his position, his possessions, or his occupation. The MAN
+should be superior to the accidents of his birth, and should take that
+rank which is due to his merit.[R]
+
+The error committed by our professedly republican communities
+consists, not in the recognition of classes and grades of rank, but in
+placing them, as they too often do, on artificial and not on natural
+grounds. We have had frequent occasion, in the preceding pages, to
+speak of superiors and inferiors. We fully recognize the relation
+which these words indicate. It is useless to quarrel with Nature, who
+has nowhere in the universe given us an example of the absolute,
+unqualified, dead-level equality which some pseudo-reformers have
+vainly endeavored to institute among men. Such leveling is neither
+possible nor desirable. Harmony is born of difference, and not of
+sameness.
+
+We have in our country a class of toad-eaters who delight in paying
+the most obsequious homage to fictitious rank of every kind. A vulgar
+millionaire of the Fifth Avenue, and a foreign adventurer with a
+meaningless title, are equally objects of their misplaced deference.
+Losing sight of their own manhood and self-respect, they descend to
+the most degrading sycophancy. We have little hope of benefiting them.
+They are "joined to their idols; let them alone."
+
+But a much larger class of our people are inclined to go to the
+opposite extreme, and ignore veneration, in its human aspect,
+altogether. They have no reverence for anybody or anything. This class
+of people will read our book, and, we trust, profit by its well-meant
+hints. We respect them, though we can not always commend their
+manners. They have independence and manliness, but fail to accord due
+respect to the manhood of others. It is for their special benefit that
+we leave touched with considerable emphasis on the deference due to
+age and _genuine_ rank, from whatever source derived.
+
+Your townsman, Mr. Dollarmark, has no claim on you for any special
+token of respect, simply because he inherited half a million, which
+has grown in his hands to a million and a half, while you can not
+count half a thousand, or because he lives in his own palatial
+mansion, and you in a hired cottage; but your neighbor, Mr. Anvil,
+who, setting out in life, like yourself, without a penny, has amassed
+a little fortune by his own unaided exertions, and secured a high
+social position by his manliness, integrity, and good breeding, is
+entitled to a certain deference on your part--a recognition of his
+merits and his superiority. Mr. Savant, who has gained distinction for
+himself and conferred honor on his country by his scientific
+discoveries, and your aged friend Mr. Goodman, who, though a stranger
+to both wealth and fame, is drawing toward the close of a long and
+useful life, during which he has helped to build up and give character
+to the place in which he lives, have, each in his own way, _earned_
+the right to some token of deference from those who have not yet
+reached an equally elevated position.
+
+It is not for birth, or wealth, or occupation, or any other accidental
+circumstance, that we ask reverence, but for _inherent nobility
+wrought out in life_. This is what should give men rank and titles in
+a republic.
+
+Your hired man, Patrick, may be your inferior, but it is not because
+he is your hired man. Another man, who is your _superior_ in every
+way, may stand in the same business relation to you. He may sell you
+certain stipulated services for a stipulated amount of money; but you
+bargain for no deference that your real social position and character
+do not call for from him. He, and not you, may be entitled to the
+"wall side," and to precedence everywhere.
+
+
+II.--CITY AND COUNTRY.
+
+The words _civil_ and _civilized_ are derived from the Latin _civitas_
+(Ital., _città_), a city, and _polite_, from the Greek [Greek: polis]
+(_polis_), a city; because cities are the first to become civilized,
+or _civil_, and polite, or _polished_ (Latin, _polire_). They are
+still, as a general rule, the home of the most highly cultivated
+people, as well as of the rudest and most degraded, and unquestioned
+arbiters of fashion and social observances. For this reason the rules
+of etiquette laid down in this and all other works on the subject of
+manners, are calculated, as the astronomers say, for the meridian of
+the city. The observances of the country are borrowed from the city,
+and modified to suit the social condition and wants of the different
+localities. This must always be borne in mind, and your behavior
+regulated accordingly. The white or pale yellow gloves, which you must
+wear during the whole evening at a fashionable evening party in the
+city, under pain of being set down as unbearably vulgar, would be very
+absurd appendages at a social gathering at a farm-house in the
+country. None but a _snob_ would wear them at such a place. So with
+other things.
+
+
+III.--IMPORTED MANNERS.
+
+N. P. Willis says, "We should be glad to see a distinctly American
+school of good manners, in which all useless etiquette were thrown
+aside, but every politeness adopted or invented which could promote
+sensible and easy exchanges of good-will and sociability. Good sense
+and consideration for others should be the basis of every usage of
+polite life that is worth regarding. Indeed, we have long thought that
+our country was old enough to adopt measures and etiquettes of its
+own, based, like all other politeness, upon benevolence and common
+sense. To get rid of imported etiquette is the first thing to do for
+American politeness."
+
+This is an important truth well stated. We have had enough of mere
+imported conventionalism in manners. Our usages should not be English
+or French usages, further than English and French usages are founded
+on universal principles. Politeness is the same everywhere and always,
+but the forms of etiquette must change with times and places; for an
+observance which may be proper and useful in London or Paris, may be
+abundantly absurd in New York.
+
+
+IV.--FICTITIOUS TITLES.
+
+In answer to a correspondent who inquires whether an American citizen
+should address a European nobleman by his title, _Life Illustrated_
+says:
+
+"We answer, unhesitatingly, No. Most of the European titles are purely
+fictitious, as well as ridiculous. The Duke of Northumberland, for
+example, has nothing in particular to do with Northumberland, nor does
+he exercise dukeship (or leadership) over anything except his private
+estate. The title is a perfect absurdity; it means nothing whatever;
+it is a mere nickname; and Mr. Percy is a fool for permitting himself
+to be addressed as 'My Lord Duke,' and 'Your Grace.' Indeed, even in
+England, gentlemen use those titles very sparingly, and servants alone
+habitually employ then. American citizens who are thrown, in their
+travels, or in their intercourse with society, into communication with
+persons bearing titles, may treat them with all due respect without
+Gracing or My-Lording them. In our opinion, they should do so. And we
+have faith enough in the good sense of the English people to believe
+that the next generation, or the next but one, will see a general
+abandonment of fictitious titles by the voluntary action of the very
+people who hold them. At the same time, we are inclined to think that
+the bestowment of real titles--titles which mean something, titles
+given in recognition of distinguished worth and eminent services,
+titles not hereditary--will be one of the most cherished prerogatives
+of the enlightened states of the good time coming. The first step,
+however, must be the total abolition of all titles which are
+fictitious and hereditary."
+
+
+V.--A MIRROR FOR CERTAIN MEN.
+
+The following rather broad hints to certain bipeds who _ought_ to be
+gentlemen, were clipped from some newspaper. We are sorry we do not
+know to whom to credit the article:
+
+"Who can tell why women are expected, on pain of censure and
+avoidance, to conform to a high standard of behavior, while men are
+indulged in another a great deal lower? We never could fully
+understand why men should be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco, in
+smoking and in spitting everywhere almost, and at all times, whereas a
+woman can not do any of these things without exciting aversion and
+disgust. Why ought a man to be allowedly so self-indulgent, putting
+his limbs and person in all manner of attitudes, however uncouth and
+distasteful, merely because such vulgarities yield him temporary
+eases, while a woman is always required to preserve an attitude, if
+not of positive grace, at least of decency and propriety, from which
+if she departs, though but for an instant, she forfeits respect, and
+is instantly branded as a low creature!
+
+"Can any one say why a man when he has the tooth-ache, or is called to
+suffer in any other way, should be permitted, as a matter of course,
+to groan and bellow, and vent his feelings very much in the style of
+an animal not endowed with reason, while a woman similarly suffering
+must bear it in silence and decorum? Why, should men, as a class,
+habitually, and as a matter of right, boldly wear the coarsest
+qualities of human nature on the outside, and swear and fight, and
+beastify themselves, so that they are obliged to be put into separate
+pens in the cars on railroads, and at the dépôts, while woman must
+appear with an agreeable countenance, if not in smiles, even when the
+head, or perhaps the heart, aches, and are expected to permit nothing
+ill-tempered, disagreeable, or even unhappy to appear outwardly, but
+to keep all these concealed in their own bosoms to suffer as they may,
+lest they might otherwise lessen the cheerfulness of others?
+
+"These are a few suggestions only among many we would hint to the
+stronger and more exciting sex to be reflected on for the improvement
+of their tastes and manners. In the mirror thus held up before them,
+they can not avoid observing the very different standards by which the
+behavior of the two sexes is constantly regulated. If any reason can
+be assigned why one should always be a lady, and the other hardly ever
+a gentleman, we hope it will be done."
+
+
+VI.--WASHINGTON'S CODE OF MANNERS.
+
+Every action ought to be with some sign of respect to those present.
+Be no flatterer; neither play with any one who delights not to be
+played with. Read no paper or book in company. Come not near the
+papers or books of another when he is writing. Let your countenance be
+cheerful; but in serious matters be grave. Let your discourse with
+others, on matters of business, be short. It is good manners to let
+others speak first. When a man does all he can, do not blame him,
+though he succeeds not well. Take admonitions thankfully. Be not too
+hasty to receive lying reports to the injury of another. Let your
+dress be modest, and consult your condition. _Play not the peacock by
+looking vainly at yourself._ It is better to be alone than in bad
+company. Let your conversation be without malice or envy. Urge not
+your friend to discover a secret. Break not a jest where none take
+pleasure in mirth. Gaze not on the blemishes of others. When another
+speaks, be attentive.
+
+
+VII.--MARKED PASSAGES.
+
+On turning over the leaves of the various works on etiquette which we
+have had occasion to consult in the preparation of this little manual,
+we have marked with our pencil a large number of passages which seemed
+to us to embody important facts or thoughts, with the hope of being
+able to weave them into our work, each in its appropriate place. Some
+of them we have made use of according to our original intention; a few
+others not elsewhere used, we purpose to throw together here without
+any attempt at classification.
+
+
+1. _Our Social Uniform._
+
+The universal partiality of our countrymen for _black_, as the color
+of dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners.
+Among the best dressed men on the Continent, as well as in England,
+black, through not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use
+than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown, and green, and
+for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics.
+
+
+2. _A Hint to the Ladies._
+
+Don't make your rooms gloomy. Furnish them for light and let them have
+it. Daylight is very cheap, and candle or gas light you need not use
+often. If your rooms are dark, all the effect of furniture, pictures,
+walls, and carpets is lost. Finally, if you have beautiful things,
+make them useful. The fashion of having a nice parlor, and then
+shutting it up all but three or four days in the year, when you have
+company; spending your own life in a mean room, shabbily furnished, or
+an unhealthy basement, to save your things, is the meanest possible
+economy. Go a little further--shut up your house, and live in a
+pig-pen! The use of nice and beautiful things is to act upon your
+spirit--to educate you and make you beautiful.
+
+
+3. _Another._
+
+Don't put your cards around the looking-glass, unless in your private
+boudoir. If you wish to display them, keep them in a suitable basket
+or vase on the mantle or center-table.
+
+
+4. _An Obliging Disposition._
+
+Polite persons are necessarily obliging. A smile is always on their
+lips, an earnestness in their countenance, when we ask a favor of
+them. They know that to render a service with a bad grace, is in
+reality not to render it at all. If they are obliged to refuse a
+favor, they do it with mildness and delicacy; they express such
+feeling regret that they still inspire us with gratitude; in short,
+their conduct appears so perfectly natural that it really seems that
+the opportunity which is offered them of obliging us, is obliging
+themselves; and they refuse all our thanks, without affectation or
+effort.
+
+
+5. _Securing a Home._
+
+Let me, as a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of
+social life, in our own country especially, enter my earnest protest
+against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of
+_boarding_, in place of at once establishing for themselves the
+distinctive and ennobling prerogatives of HOME. Language and time
+would alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils
+inevitably growing out of this fashionable system. Take the advice of
+an old man, who has tested theories by prolonged experience, and at
+once establish your PENATES within four walls, and under a roof that
+will, at times, exclude all who are not properly denizens of your
+household, upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life.
+Do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you can not
+shrine your home deities upon pedestals of marble. _Cover their bases
+with flowers_--God's free gift to all--and the plainest support will
+suffice for them if it be but _firm_.
+
+
+6. _Taste vs. Fashion._
+
+A lady should never, on account of economy, wear either what she deems
+an ugly or an ungraceful garment; such garments never put her at her
+ease, and are neglected and cast aside long before they have done her
+their true service. We are careful only of those things which suit us,
+and which we believe adorn us, and the mere fact of believing that we
+look well, goes a great way toward making us do so. Fashion should be
+sacrificed to taste, or, at best, followed at a distance; it does not
+do to be _entirely out_, nor _completely in_, what is called
+"fashion," many things being embraced under that term which are
+frivolous, unmeaning, and sometimes meretricious.
+
+
+7. _Special Claims._
+
+There are persons to whom a lady or gentleman should be especially
+polite. All elderly persons, the unattractive, the poor, and those
+whose dependent positions may cause them to fear neglect. The
+gentleman who offers his arm or gives his time to an old lady, or asks
+a very plain one to dance, or attends one who is poorly dressed, never
+looses in others' estimation or his own.
+
+
+8. _Propriety of Deportment._
+
+Propriety of deportment is the valuable result of a knowledge of one's
+self, and of respect for the rights of others; it is a feeling of the
+sacrifices which are imposed on self-esteem by our social relations;
+it is, in short, a sacred requirement of harmony and affection.
+
+
+9. _False Pride._
+
+False pride and false dignity are very mean qualities. A true
+gentleman will do anything proper for him to do. He can soil his hands
+or use his muscles when there is occasion. The truest gentleman is
+more likely to carry home a market-basket, or a parcel, or to wheel a
+barrow through Broadway, than many a conceited little snob of a
+shop-boy.
+
+
+10. _The Awkwardness of being "Dressed."_
+
+When dressed for company, strive to appear as easy and natural as if
+you were in undress. Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive
+person, or more ridiculous to one gifted with an _esprit moquer_ [a
+disposition to "make fun"], than to see a lady laboring under the
+consciousness of a fine gown; or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward,
+and ungainly in a brand-new coat.
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[R] _Life Illustrated._
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.
+
+     The pages of the "Noble Oracle" are replete with sound advice,
+     which all may receive with profit. Genuine politeness is the
+     same always and everywhere.--_Madame Bienceance._
+
+
+1. _Cheerfulness and Good Humor._
+
+It is a wonderful thing that so many persons, putting in claims to
+good breeding, should think of carrying their spleen into company, and
+entertaining those with whom they converse with a history of their
+pains, head-aches, and ill-treatment. This is, of all others, the
+meanest help to social happiness; and a man must have a very mean
+opinion of himself, who, on having detailed his grievances, is
+accosted by asking the news. Mutual good-humor is a dress in which we
+ought to appear, whenever we meet; and we ought to make no mention of
+ourselves, unless it be in matters wherein our friends ought to
+rejoice. There is no real life but cheerful life; therefore
+valetudinarians should be sworn before they enter into company not to
+say a word of themselves until the meeting breaks up.
+
+
+2. _The Art of Pleasing._
+
+The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very
+difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and your
+own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can.
+Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of
+pleasing. Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably
+the same things in you will please others. If you are pleased with
+the complaisance and attention of others to you, depend upon it the
+same complaisance and attention, on your part, will equally please
+them. Take the tone of the company you are in, and do not pretend to
+give it; be serious or gay, as you find the present humor of the
+company. This is an attention due from every individual to the
+majority.
+
+
+3. _Adaptation of Manners._
+
+Ceremony resembles that base coin which circulates through a country
+by the royal mandate. It serves every purpose of real money at home,
+but is entirely useless if carried abroad. A person who should attempt
+to circulate his native trash in another country would be thought
+either ridiculous or culpable. He is truly well-bred who knows when to
+value and when to despise those national peculiarities which are
+regarded by some with so much observance. A traveler of taste at once
+perceives that the wise are polite all the world over, but that fools
+are polite only at home.
+
+
+4. _Bad Habits._
+
+Keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits, such as thrusting on
+your tongue, continually snapping your fingers, rubbing your hands,
+sighing aloud, gaping with a noise like a country fellow that has been
+sleeping in a hay-loft, or indeed with any noise; and many others that
+I have noticed before. These are imitations of the manners of the mob,
+and are degrading to a gentleman. It is rude and vulgar to lean your
+head back and destroy the appearance of fine papered walls.
+
+
+5. _Do what You are About._
+
+_Hoc age_ was a maxim among the Romans, which means, "Do what you are
+about, and do that only." A little mind is hurried by twenty things
+at once; but a man of sense does but one thing at a time, and resolves
+to excel in it; for whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing
+well. Therefore, remember to give yourself up entirely to the thing
+you are doing, be it what it may, whether your book or your play; for
+if you have a right ambition, you will desire to excel all boys of
+your age, at cricket, at trap-ball, as well as in learning.
+
+
+6. _People who never Learn._
+
+There have been people who have frequented the first companies all
+their lifetime, and yet have never divested themselves of their
+natural stiffness and awkwardness; but have continued as vulgar as if
+they were never out of a servants' hall. This has been owing to
+carelessness, and a want of attention to the manners and behavior of
+others.
+
+
+7. _Conformity to Local Manners._
+
+Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is
+essentially the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is
+called, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is different
+in almost every country, and merely local; and every man of sense
+imitates and conforms to that local good-breeding or the place which
+he is at.
+
+
+8. _How to Confer Favors._
+
+The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and bunglingly as to
+offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to
+oblige. Endeavor to acquire this great secret. It exists, it is to be
+found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of the
+alchymists would be, if it were, as it is not, to be found.
+
+
+9. _Fitness._
+
+One of the most important points of life is decency, which means doing
+what is proper, and where it is proper; for many things are proper at
+one time, and in one place, that are extremely improper in another.
+Read men, therefore, yourself, not in books, but in nature. Adopt no
+systems, but study them yourself.
+
+
+10. _How to Refuse._
+
+A polite manner of refusing to comply with the solicitations of a
+company is also very necessary to be learned; for a young man who
+seems to have no will of his own, but does everything that is asked of
+him, may be a very good-natured, but he is a very silly, fellow.
+
+
+11. _Civility to Women._
+
+Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no
+provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every
+woman; and the greatest man in the world would be justly reckoned a
+brute, if he were not civil to the meanest woman.
+
+
+12. _Spirit._
+
+Spirit is now a very fashionable word. To act with spirit, to speak
+with spirit, means only to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. An
+able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is
+neither hot nor timid.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.
+
+     It is well to combine amusement with instruction, whether you
+     write for young or old.--_Anonymous._
+
+
+I.--ELDER BLUNT AND SISTER SCRUB.
+
+The house of the excellent Squire Scrub was the itinerant's home; and
+a right sweet, pleasant home it would have been but for a certain
+unfortunate weakness of the every other way _excellent_ Sister Scrub.
+The weakness I allude to was, or at least it was suspected to be, _the
+love of praise_. Now the good sister was really worthy of high praise,
+and she often received it; but she had a way of disparaging herself
+and her performances which some people thought was intended to invite
+praise. No housewife kept her floors looking so clean and her walls so
+well whitewashed as she. Every board was scrubbed and scoured till
+further scrubbing and scouring would have been labor wasted. No one
+could look on her white ash floor and not admire the polish her
+industry gave it. The "Squire" was a good provider, and Sister Scrub
+was an excellent cook; and so their table groaned under a burden of
+good things on all occasions when good cheer was demanded. And yet you
+could never enter the house and sit half an hour without being
+reminded that "Husband held Court yesterday, and she couldn't keep the
+house decent." If you sat down to eat with them, she was sorry she
+"hadn't anything fit to eat." She had been scrubbing, or washing, or
+ironing, or she had been half sick, and she hadn't got such and such
+things that she ought to have. Nor did it matter how bountiful or how
+well prepared the repast really was, there was always _something_
+deficient, the want of which furnished a text for a disparaging
+discourse on the occasion. I remember once that we sat down to a table
+that a king might have been happy to enjoy. There was the light
+snow-white bread; there were the potatoes reeking in butter; there
+were chickens swimming in gravy; there were the onions and the
+turnips, and I was sure Sister Scrub had gratified her ambition for
+once. We sat down, and a blessing was asked; instantly the good sister
+began; she was afraid her coffee was too much burned, or that the
+water had been smoked, or that she hadn't roasted the chicken enough.
+There ought to have been some salad, and it was too bad that there was
+nothing nice to offer us.
+
+We, of course, endured those unjustifiable apologies as well as the
+could, simply remarking that everything was really nice, and proving
+by our acts that the repast was tempting to our appetites.
+
+I will now introduce another actor to the reader--Elder Blunt, the
+circuit preacher. Elder Blunt was a good man. His religion was of the
+most genuine, experimental kind. He was a _very_ plain man. He, like
+Mr. Wesley, would no more dare to preach a _fine_ sermon than wear a
+fine coat. He was celebrated for his common-sense way of exhibiting
+the principles of religion. He _would_ speak just what he thought, and
+as he felt. He somehow got the name of being an eccentric preacher, as
+every man, I believe, does who _never_ prevaricates, and always acts
+and speaks as he thinks. Somehow or other, Elder Blunt had heard of
+Sister Scrub, and that infirmity of hers, and he resolved to cure
+her. On his first round he stopped at "Squire Scrub's," as all other
+itinerants had done before him. John, the young man, took the elder's
+horse and put him in the stable, and the preacher entered the house.
+He was shown into the best room, and soon felt very much at home. He
+expected to hear something in due time disparaging the domestic
+arrangements, but he heard it sooner than he expected. This time, if
+Sister Scrub could be credited, her house was all upside down; it
+wasn't fit to stay in, and she was sadly mortified to be caught in
+such a plight. The elder looked all around the room, as if to observe
+the terrible disorder, but he said not a word. By-and-by the dinner
+was ready, and the elder sat down with the family to a well spread
+table. Here, again, Sister Scrub found everything faulty; the coffee
+wasn't fit to drink, and she hadn't anything fit to eat. The elder
+lifted his dark eye to her face; for a moment he seemed to penetrate
+her very soul with his austere gaze; then slowly rising from the
+table, he said, "Brother Scrub, I want my horse immediately; I must
+leave!"
+
+"Why, Brother Blunt, what is the matter?"
+
+"Matter? Why, sir, your house isn't fit to stay in, and you haven't
+anything fit to eat or drink, and I won't stay."
+
+Both the "Squire" and his lady were confounded. This was a piece of
+eccentricity entirely unlooked for. They were stupefied. But the elder
+was gone. He wouldn't stay in a house not fit to stay in, and where
+there wasn't anything fit to eat and drink.
+
+Poor Sister Scrub! She wept like a child at her folly. She "knew it
+would be all over town," she said, "and everybody would be laughing at
+her." And then, how should she meet the blunt, honest elder again?
+"She hadn't meant anything by what she had said." Ah! she never
+thought how wicked it was to say _so much_ that didn't mean anything.
+
+The upshot of the whole matter was, that Sister Scrub "saw herself as
+others saw her." She ceased making apologies, and became a wiser and
+better Christian. Elder Blunt always puts up there, always finds
+everything as it should be, and, with all his eccentricities, is
+thought by the family the most agreeable, as he is acknowledged by
+everybody to be the most consistent, of men.--_Rev. J. V. Watson._
+
+
+II.--THE PRESENCE.
+
+Mr. Johnson, an English traveler, relates, in his notes on North
+America, the following story:
+
+"At Boston," he says, "I was told of a gentleman in the neighborhood
+who, having a farm servant, found him very satisfactory in every
+respect, except that he invariably came into his employer's room with
+his hat on.
+
+"'John,' said he to the man one day, 'you always keep your hat on when
+you come into the room.'
+
+"'Well, sir,' said John, 'and haven't I a right to?'
+
+"'Yes,' was his employer's reply, 'I suppose you have.'
+
+"'Well,' said John, 'if I have a right to, why shouldn't I?'
+
+"This was a poser from one man to another, where all have equal
+rights. So, after a moment's reflection the gentleman asked:
+
+"'Now, John, what will you take, how much more wages will you ask, to
+take off your hat whenever you come in?'
+
+"'Well, that requires consideration, I guess,' said the man.
+
+"'Take the thing into consideration, then,' rejoined the employer,
+'and let me know to-morrow morning.'
+
+"The morrow comes, and John appears.
+
+"'Well, John, have you considered what additional wages you are to
+have for taking your hat off?'
+
+"'Well, sir, I guess it's worth a dollar a month.'
+
+"'It's settled, then, John; you shall have another dollar a month.'
+
+"So the gentleman retained a good man, while John's hat was always in
+his hand when he entered the house."
+
+This story, to one who knows New England, is not altogether
+incredible. Toward the democratization of this country, yet most
+incomplete, it will perhaps be one day conceded that the South has
+contributed ideas, and New England sentiment; while the Great West
+will have made a partial application of both to the conduct of life.
+The Yankees are the kindest and the acutest of our people, and the
+most ungraceful. Nowhere in the world is there so much good feeling,
+combined with so much rudeness of manner, as in New England. The
+South, colonized by Cavaliers, retains much of the Cavalier
+improvidence and careless elegance of manner; and Southerners, like
+the soil they till, are generous. But the Yankees, descended from
+austere and Puritanic farmers, and accustomed to wring their
+subsistence from an unwilling soil, possess the sterling virtues of
+human nature along with a stiff-jointed awkwardness of manner, and a
+sharp angularity of thought, which renders them unpleasing even to
+those who respect them most. A Yankee seldom ceases to be provincial.
+
+But John is waiting, hat in hand, to hear what we have to say
+respecting his case.
+
+We say that John was wrong in not taking off his hat voluntarily, but
+that the feeling which prevented his doing so was right. He was right
+in feeling that the accidental circumstance of his being a hired man
+gave his employer no claim to any special mark of respect from him;
+and, as he considered that the removal of his hat would have been a
+special mark of respect, and thus an acknowledgment of social
+inferiority, he declined to make that acknowledgment. But John was
+mistaken. The act referred to would not have borne such an
+interpretation. John ought to have felt that on coming into the
+presence of a man, a fellow-citizen and co-sovereign, and particularly
+on entering his abode, one of the innumerable royal residences of the
+country, some visible sign of respect, some kind of deferential
+salutation, is _due_ from the person entering. John should have risen
+superior to the mere accident of his position, and remembered only
+that he and his employer were men and equals. The positions of the two
+men might be reversed in a day; their equality as men and citizens,
+nothing but crime could affect.--_James Parton._
+
+
+III.--A LEARNED MAN AT TABLE.
+
+Some of the many errors which are liable to be committed through
+ignorance of usage, are pleasantly pointed out in the following story,
+which is related by a French writer:
+
+The Abbé Cosson, professor in the _Collége Mazarin_, thoroughly
+accomplished in the art of teaching, saturated with Greek, Latin, and
+literature, considered himself a perfect well of science: he had no
+conception that a man who knew all Persius and Horace by heart could
+possibly commit an error--above all, an error at table. But it was not
+long before he discovered his mistake. One day, after dining with the
+Abbé de Radonvilliers at Versailles, in company with several courtiers
+and marshals of France; he was boasting of the rare acquaintance with
+etiquette and custom which he had exhibited at dinner. The Abbé
+Delille, who heard this eulogy upon his own conduct, interrupted his
+harangue by offering to wager that he had committed at least a hundred
+improprieties at the table. "How is it possible?" exclaimed Cosson. "I
+did exactly like the rest of the company."
+
+"What absurdity!" said the other. "You did a thousand things which no
+one else did. First, when you sat down at the table, what did you do
+with your napkin?" "My napkin! why, just what everybody else did with
+theirs. I unfolded it entirely, and fastened it to my button-hole."
+"Well, my dear friend," said Delille, "you were the only one that did
+_that_, at all events. No one hangs up his napkin in that style; they
+are contented with placing it on their knees. And what did you do when
+you took soup?" "Like the others, I believe. I took any spoon in one
+hand and my fork in the other--" "Your fork! Who ever ate soup with a
+fork? But to proceed: after your soup, what did you eat?" "A fresh
+egg." "And what did you do with the shell?" "Handed it to the servant
+who stood behind my chair." "Without breaking it, of course?" "Well,
+my dear Abbé, nobody ever eats an egg without breaking the shell."
+"And after your egg--?" "I asked the Abbé Radonvilliers to send me a
+piece of the hen near him." "Bless my soul! a piece of the _hen_! You
+never speak of hens excepting in the barn-yard. You should have asked
+for fowl, or chicken. But you say nothing of your mode of drinking."
+"Like all the rest, I asked for _claret_ and _champagne_." "Let me
+inform you, then, that persons always ask for _claret wine_ and
+_champagne wine_. But tell me, how did you eat your bread?" "Surely I
+did that properly. I cut it with my knife in the most regular manner
+possible." "Bread should always be broken, not cut. But the coffee,
+how did you manage it?" "It was rather too hot, and I poured a little
+of it into my saucer." "Well, you committed here the greatest fault of
+all. You should never pour your coffee into the saucer, but always
+drink it from the cup." The poor Abbé was confounded. He felt that
+though one might be master of the seven sciences, yet that there was
+another species of knowledge which, if less dignified, was equally
+important.
+
+This occurred many years ago, but there is not one of the observances
+neglected by the Abbé Cosson which is not enforced with equal
+rigidness in the present day.
+
+
+IV.--ENGLISH WOMEN IN HIGH LIFE.
+
+Lord Hardwicke's family consists of his countess, his eldest son
+(about eighteen or twenty, Lord Royston by courtesy), three of the
+finest-looking daughters you ever saw, and several younger sons. The
+daughters--Lady Elizabeth, Lady Mary, and Lady Agnita--are
+surpassingly beautiful; such development--such rosy cheeks, laughing
+eyes, and unaffected manners--you rarely see combined. They take a
+great deal of out-door exercise, and came aboard the Merrimac, in a
+heavy rain, with Irish shoes thicker soled than you or I ever wore,
+and cloaks and dresses almost impervious to wet. They steer their
+father's yacht, walk the Lord knows how many miles, and don't care a
+cent about rain, besides doing a host of other things that would shock
+our ladies to death; and yet in the parlor are the most elegant
+looking women, in their satin shoes and diamonds, I ever saw.... After
+dinner the ladies play and sing for us, and the other night they got
+up a game of blind-man's-buff; in which the ladies said we had the
+advantage, inasmuch as their "petticoats rustled so that they were
+easily caught." They call things by their names here. In the course of
+the game, Lord Hardwicke himself was blindfolded, and, trying to catch
+some one, fell over his daughter's lap on the floor, when two or three
+of the girls caught him by the legs and dragged his lordship--roaring
+with laughter, as we all were--on his back into the middle of the
+floor. Yet they are perfectly respectful, but appear on a perfect
+equality with each other.--_Letter from an Officer of the "Merrimac."_
+
+
+V.--"VIL YOU SAY SO, IF YOU PLEASE?"
+
+"Speaking of _not speaking_," said I, when the general amusement had
+abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed
+in the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to
+wait several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a
+bustling, sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking
+about the room, apparently upon a tom of inspection, finally settled
+herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the
+only one in the room--and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound
+asleep. It was not long, however, before a noise of some one entering
+aroused her, and a tall, gaunt, old Yankee woman, hung around with
+countless bags, bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various
+sizes and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After slowly
+relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her
+progress in life, she turned to a young man who accompanied her, and
+said, in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken,
+at this day, for a railroad whistle--
+
+"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go
+for them toothache drops; I am a'most crazy with pain!' laying a hand
+upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as
+the door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at
+the same time,' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknown
+depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to
+light a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of
+a modern belle. 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I
+don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred up.'
+
+"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly
+aroused, and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger,
+her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest
+of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group).
+With a prolonged stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the
+vacated seat, making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility
+she had received. Presently she began to groan, rocking herself
+furiously at the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair,
+who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long row
+of wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she,
+'that you suffare ver' much--vat can I do for you?' The representative
+of Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response
+she made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously
+than ever might be construed into a reply.
+
+"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so
+anomalous a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated.
+
+"Before I was summoned away, the toothache drops and the snuff
+together (both administered in large doses) seemed to have gradually
+produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.
+
+"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action.
+
+"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with
+considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer.
+
+"'And you feel dis _fauteuil_ really very _com-for-ta-ble_?' pursued
+the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just
+discernible.
+
+"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of
+impatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually _screamed_
+out:
+
+"'_Bien_, madame, _vil you say so_, if you please?'
+
+"_Henry Lunettes._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
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+into four parts, as follows:
+
+HOW TO WRITE:
+
+    As a Manual of Letter-Writing and Composition, is far superior
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+
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+    sorts of Words; with Exercises for Declamation. The chapter on
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+    young man. "Worth a dozen grammars."
+
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+
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+    "MANNERS BOOK" ever written. If you desire to know what good
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+    you. It is a standard work on Good Behavior.
+
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+
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+
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+
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+Notes on Shoeing by Sir George Cox and Col. M. C. Weld. 150 pp. 12mo,
+paper, 50 cents; extra cloth, 75 cents.
+
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+
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+
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+OR
+
+MENTAL SCIENCE CONSIDERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PRINCIPLES OF
+PHRENOLOGY, AND IN RELATION TO MODERN PHYSIOLOGY
+
+    By HENRY S. DRAYTON, A.M., and JAMES McNEILL.
+
+    Illustrated with over One Hundred Portraits and Diagrams.
+    12mo, extra cloth          Price, $1.60.
+
+This contribution to the science of mind has been made in response to
+the demand of the time for a work embodying the grand principles of
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+"In preparing this volume it has been the aim to meet an existing
+want, viz. That of a treatise which not only gives the reader a
+complete view of the system of mental science known as Phrenology, but
+also exhibits its relation to anatomy and physiology as those sciences
+are represented to-day by standard authority."
+
+The work is divided into eighteen chapters, which are entitled as
+follows:
+
+  CHAPTERS.
+      I. GENERAL PRINCIPLES.
+     II. OF THE TEMPERAMENTS.
+    III. STRUCTURE OF THE BRAIN AND SKULL.
+     IV. CLASSIFICATION OF THE FACULTIES.
+      V. THE PHYSICO-PRESERVATIVE, OR SELFISH ORGANS.
+     VI. OF THE INTELLECT.
+    VII. THE SEMI-INTELLECTUAL FACULTIES.
+   VIII. THE ORGANS OF THE SOCIAL FUNCTIONS.
+     IX. THE SELFISH SENTIMENTS.
+      X. THE MORAL AND RELIGIOUS SENTIMENTS.
+     XI. HOW TO EXAMINE HEADS.
+    XII. HOW CHARACTER IS MANIFESTED.
+   XIII. THE ACTION OF THE FACULTIES.
+    XIV. THE RELATION OF PHRENOLOGY TO METAPHYSICS AND EDUCATION.
+     XV. VALUE OF PHRENOLOGY AS AN ART.
+    XVI. PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY.
+   XVII. OBJECTIONS AND CONFIRMATIONS BY THE PHYSIOLOGISTS.
+  XVIII. PHRENOLOGY IN GENERAL LITERATURE.
+
+In style and treatment it is adapted to the general reader, and
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+
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+contains 325 pages. 12mo. Price $1.50, by mail post-paid.
+
+     _Address_ FOWLER & WELLS CO., 753 Broadway, N. Y.
+
+
+HOW TO PAINT.
+
+_"EVERY MAN HIS OWN PAINTER."_
+
+How to Paint.--A complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the use
+of Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, Farmers, and a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain Common-sense statement of the
+Methods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every Description, including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, with
+Formulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Pigments
+used; their Average Cost, Tools required, etc. By F. B. GARDNER,
+author of the _Carriage Painter's Manual_. 127 pp. Cloth, $1.00.
+
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+paint, as will be seen from the following from the Table of Contents.
+It is very complete, and will make "Every Man his Own Painter."
+
+    CHAPTER I.--PAINTING--Tools used.
+
+    CHAPTER II.--BRUSHES.
+
+    CHAPTER III.--DRY COLORS--White Lead; Fine White; Lamp Black;
+    Drop Black; Ivory Black; Prussian Blue; Ultramarine Green;
+    Yellow; Vermilion; Brown; Lake; Carmine; Rose Pink; Whiting;
+    Glue; Pumice Stone; Asphaltum.
+
+    CHAPTER IV.--LIQUIDS--Spirits of Turpentine; Oils; Varnishes;
+    Furniture Varnish; Average Prices of Varnish; Shellac Varnish;
+    Japan Gold Size; Brown Japan Size; Fat Oil Size; Quick Size;
+    Asphaltum Size; Honey Size; Size for Glass.
+
+    CHAPTER V.--COLORS IN OIL--Tube Colors; Compound Colors.
+
+    CHAPTER VI.--Mixing Paint; White Paint; White for Inside Work;
+    China Glass; Oil Color for Outside Work; Dead, or Flat Color;
+    Colors Ground in Oil. PUTTY--Common Window Putty; Carriage
+    Painters' Putty; Cementing Putty; Furniture Putty; Hardwood
+    Putty; Putty for Plaster Work.
+
+    CHAPTER VII.--MILK PAINT--Distemper Painting; Kalsomine;
+    Preparing Kalsomine; Paint for Out-Buildings; Paint for Iron
+    Railing; White wash; Size for Walls; Paste for Paper hanging;
+    Hanging Paper.
+
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+    Mahogany; Rosewood; Black Walnut; Staining; Granite; Brown
+    Stone; Portland Stone; Smalting; Flockings; Marbling.
+
+    CHAPTER IX.--GILDING--Gold Leaf; Silver Leaf; Dutch Metal;
+    Gilding on Glass; Bronzing; Stenciling; Transferring;
+    Decalcomanie; Transparent Painting; Pearl Inlaying; Making a
+    Rustic Picture; Painting Flower Stand; Polish for Mahogany;
+    Varnishing Furniture; Waxing Furniture; Cleaning Paint; Paint
+    for Farming Tools; Paint for Machinery; Paint for Household
+    Goods; Paint for Iron; To Imitate Ground Glass; Pumicing
+    Ornaments; Painting to Imitate Damask; To Paint a Farm Wagon; To
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+    Permanent Wood Filling for House Work.
+
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+Broadway, N. Y.
+
+
+THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT,
+
+    Containing the Original Greek Text of THE NEW TESTAMENT with an
+    interlineary word-for-word English Translation; a new Emphatic
+    Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on the Readings
+    of Eminent Critics, and on the various Readings of the Vatican
+    Manuscript (No 1,209 in the Vatican Library); together with
+    illustrative and Explanatory Foot Notes, and a copious Selection
+    of References; to the whole of which is added a valuable
+    Alphabetical Index.
+
+By BENJAMIN WILSON.
+
+One Vol., 12mo, 884 pp. Price, extra cloth, $4; Lib. binding, $5.
+
+We have here a Greek Text acknowledged to be one of the best, which
+Greek scholars will find of importance, while the unlearned have an
+almost equal chance with those who are acquainted with the original,
+by having an interlinear, literal, word-for-word English translation.
+On the right hand of each page there is a column containing a special
+rendering of the translation, including the labors of many talented
+critics and translators, and in this column the emphatic signs are
+noted by which the Greek words of emphasis are designated, which the
+common and are new version of the New Testament fail to give. The
+adopting of the ensigns of emphasis give a certainty and intensity to
+the passages where they occur which can not be had without them. In
+addition to this there are numerous footnotes and references, making
+it on the whole one of the most valuable aids to Bible study yet
+published.
+
+OPINIONS OF THE CLERGY.
+
+The following extracts from a letters received by the publishers will
+go far to show in what the light the "Emphatic Diaglott" is regarded
+by the clergy:
+
+    From J. R. GRAVES, LL.D., _Editor of Tenn. Baptist_.--"There are
+    many of our ministers who have mastered the usual amount of
+    Greek required to complete their course at school but have found
+    little time since entering upon their ministerial labors to
+    "keep it up," and rust has so gathered upon their Greek that it
+    has become a labor to work it out without Grammar and Lexicon.
+    To all such and even to those who have accomplished but little
+    in the language, this INTERLINEARY translation will prove an
+    invaluable help. The CRITICAL FOOT-NOTES and Dictionary of Terms
+    at the close are fully worth the price of the work itself. I can
+    cordially commend it to every minister and Bible student as a
+    rigidly faithful translation of the New Testament, and for
+    several reasons the most valuable one that has yet been made."
+
+    From THOMAS ARMITAGE, D.D., _Pastor of the Fifth Ave. Baptist
+    Church_.--"GENTLEMEN: I have examined with much care and great
+    interest the specimen sheets sent me of 'the Emphatic Diaglott.'
+    ... I believe that the book furnishes evidences of the purposed
+    faithfulness, more than usual scholarship, and remarkable
+    literary industry. It can not fail to be an important help to
+    those who wish to become better acquainted with the revealed
+    will of God. For these reasons I wish the enterprise of
+    publishing the work a great success."
+
+    From the Rev. JAMES L. HODGE, _Pastor of the First Mariners'
+    Baptist Church, N. Y._--"I have examined these sheets which you
+    design to be a specimen of the work, and have to confess myself
+    much pleased with the arrangement and ability of Mr. Wilson....
+    I can most cordially thank Mr. Wilson for his noble work, and
+    you, gentlemen, for your Christian enterprise in bringing the
+    work before the public. I believe the work will do good, and aid
+    the better understanding of the New Testament."
+
+    From Prof. H. MATTISON, _Pastor of Trinity Meth. Church, Jersey
+    City, N. J._--... "The plan of the work is admirable, and the
+    presence of the Greek text and interlinear version gives every
+    scholar a fair chance to test the version for himself, verse by
+    verse and word for word. I can not but believe that the work
+    will be valuable acquisition to the Biblical literature of the
+    country."
+
+    From A. A. LIVERMORE, D.D., _President of the Theological Sem.,
+    Meadville, Pa._--... "I welcome all efforts intelligently made
+    to popularize the results of criticism, and wish that this
+    little volume might be possessed by every clergyman and student
+    of the Scriptures in the country."
+
+    From Rev. C. LAREW, _Pastor of the Halsey St. Meth. Church,
+    Newark, N. J._--"'The Diaglott' has given me great pleasure. The
+    arrangement is a most excellent one, and the new version can not
+    fail to be of gratification and profit, especially to those
+    unacquainted with the original Greek. The translator has
+    certainly shown great genius in seizing upon the thought of the
+    original and a happy tact on presenting it."
+
+    From Rev. G. F. WARREN, _Pastor of the Worthen St. Church,
+    Lowell, Mass._--... "Am highly gratified with the thorough
+    manner in which he (the author) has done his work. If I mistake
+    not this translation will receive a cordial welcome from the
+    Christian public. It is just what every Christian needs. I
+    congratulate myself and others that such a valuable auxiliary to
+    the study of the Word of God is placed in our hands."
+
+We give sample pages of the work that every one may form a correct
+idea of the plan of publication. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price.
+
+Address all orders to FOWLER & WELLS CO. Publishers, 753 BROADWAY, NEW
+YORK.
+
+
+GOOD HEALTH BOOKS.
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD,
+
+    Or, Hygienic Cookery. By Susanna W. Dodds, M.D. One large 12mo
+    volume, 600 pages, extra cloth or oil-cloth binding, price
+    $2.00.
+
+    Undoubtedly the very best work on the preparation of food in a
+    healthful manner ever published, and one that should be in the
+    hands of all who would furnish their tables with food that is
+    wholesome and at the same time palatable, and will contribute
+    much toward Health in the Household.
+
+THE NATURAL CURE
+
+    Of Consumption, Constipation, Bright's Disease, Neuralgia,
+    Rheumatism, "Colds" (Fevers), Etc. How Sickness Originates and
+    How to Prevent it. A Health Manual for the People. By C. E.
+    Page. 1 vol. 12mo. 278 pp., ex. cloth, $1.00.
+
+    A new work with new ideas, both radical and reasonable,
+    appealing to the common-sense of the reader. This is not a new
+    work with old thoughts simply restated, but the most original
+    Health Manual published in many years. It is written in the
+    author's clear, attractive manner, and should be in the hands of
+    all who would either retain or regain their health, and keep
+    from the hands of the doctors.
+
+HOW TO FEED THE BABY,
+
+    To Make Her Healthy and Happy. With Health Hints. By C. E. Page,
+    M.D. Fourth Edition, Revised and Enlarged. 12mo, paper, 50
+    cents; extra cloth, 75 cts.
+
+    Dr. Page has devoted much attention to the subject, both in this
+    country and in Europe, noting the condition of children, and
+    then making careful inquiries as to the feeding, care, etc., and
+    this work is a special record of experience with his own child.
+    In addition to answering the question _what_ to feed the baby,
+    this volume tells _how_ to feed the baby, which is of equal
+    importance. There are many who are now following the author's
+    teaching with good results.
+
+HOW TO BE WELL;
+
+    Or, Common-Sense Medical Hygiene. A book for the people, giving
+    directions for the treatment and cure of acute diseases without
+    the use of drug medicines, also general hints on health. By M.
+    Augusta Fairchild, M.D. 12mo, cloth, $1.00.
+
+    We have here a new work on Hygiene containing the results of the
+    author's experience for many years in the treatment of acute and
+    chronic diseases with Hygienic agencies, and it will save an
+    incalculable amount of pain and suffering, as well as doctors'
+    bills, in every family where its simple directions are followed.
+
+DIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA.
+
+    A Complete Explanation of the Digestive Processes, with the
+    Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsia and other Disorders of the
+    Digestive Organs. Illustrated. By R. T. Trall, M.D. $1.00.
+
+    The latest and best work on the subject. With fifty
+    illustrations; showing with all possible fullness every process
+    of digestion, and giving all the causes, and directions for
+    treatment of Dyspepsia. The author gives the summary of the data
+    which he collected during an extensive practice of more than
+    twenty-five years, largely with patients who were suffering from
+    diseases caused by Dyspepsia and an impaired Digestion.
+
+THE MOTHER'S HYGIENIC HANDBOOK,
+
+    for the Normal Development and Training of Women and Children,
+    and the Treatment of their diseases with Hygienic agencies. By
+    the same author. $1.00.
+
+    The great experience and ability of the author enabled him to
+    give just that advice which mothers need so often all through
+    their lives. It covers the whole ground, and, if it be carefully
+    read, will go far towards giving us an "ENLIGHTENED MOTHERHOOD."
+    The work should be read by every wife and every woman who
+    contemplates marriage. Mothers may place it in the hands of
+    their daughters with words of commendation, and feel assured
+    they will be the better prepared for the responsibilities and
+    duties of married life and motherhood.
+
+Sent by mail, post-paid, to any address on receipt of price. Agents
+wanted. Address FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers. 753 Broadway, New
+York.
+
+
+THE WORKS OF NELSON SIZER.
+
+A Great Book for Young People
+
+"CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to Do and Why," describing Seventy-five
+Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required for
+each; with Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers and
+Workers By NELSON SIZER, Associate Editor of the "PHRENOLOGICAL
+JOURNAL," Vice President of, and Teacher in, the "American Institute
+of Phrenology," etc. 12mo, extra cloth. 508 pp. Price, $1.75.
+
+    This work fills a place attempted by no other. Whoever has to
+    earn a living by labor of head or hand, can not afford to do
+    without it.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "'CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to do and Why' is a remarkable
+    book. The author has attained a deserved eminence as a
+    delineator of character. We have given it a careful reading and
+    feel warranted in saying that it is a book calculated to do a
+    vast deal of good."--_Boston Commonwealth._
+
+    "The title in startling, but it is indicative of the contents of
+    the book itself; the work is a desideratum."--_Inter-Ocean
+    (Chicago.)_
+
+    "It presents many judicious counsels. The main purpose of the
+    writer is to prevent mistakes in the choice of a profession. His
+    remarks on the different trades are often highly original. The
+    tendency of this volume is to increase the reader's respect for
+    human nature."--_New York Tribune._
+
+    "The design of this book is to indicate to every man his proper
+    work and to educate him for it"--_Albany Evening Journal._
+
+A New Book for Parents and Teachers.
+
+"HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT," or,
+Phrenology in the School-room and the Family.
+
+    With many Illustrations. 12mo, extra cloth, 351 pages. Price,
+    $1.50.
+
+    One of the greatest difficulties in the training of children
+    arises from not understanding their temperament and disposition.
+    This work points out clearly the constitutious differences, and
+    how to make the most of each.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "The purpose of this work is to aid parents and teachers to
+    understand the talents, dispositions, and temperaments of those
+    under their guidance. This opens a new field to the
+    consideration of the teacher. The text is attractive and a
+    valuable contribution to educational literature. It should be in
+    the library of every parent and teacher."--_New England Journal
+    of Education._
+
+    "This is an entirely new feature in a book intended for the use
+    of teachers, and must prove of great advantage to them. The text
+    is written in a manner which must attract every reader."--_The
+    Methodist._
+
+    "No teacher should neglect to read this well-written
+    contribution to the cause of education."--_Christian
+    Instructor._
+
+    "It abounds in valuable suggestions and counsels derived from
+    many years experience, which can not fail to be of service to
+    all who are engaged in the business of education. The subject is
+    treated in a plain, familiar manner, and adapted to reading in
+    the family as well as in the study of the teacher."--_New York
+    Tribune._
+
+    "There is a great deal of good sense in the work and all
+    teachers will be glad to welcome it."--_The Commonwealth_,
+    Boston.
+
+A NEW BOOK FOR EVERYBODY!
+
+FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY: Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdote, and Experience. 12mo, extra cloth, 413 pages. Price, $1.50.
+
+    In this work we have a most interesting record of the author's
+    recollections and experiences during more than forty years as a
+    Practical Phrenologist. The volume is filled with history,
+    anecdotes, and incidents, pathetic, witty, droll, and startling.
+    Every page sparkles with reality, and is packed with facts too
+    good to be lost. This book will be warmly welcomed by every
+    reader, from the boy of twelve to the sage of eighty years.
+
+THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and FREE LOVE
+EXPOSED. 12mo. Paper, 25 cents.
+
+    This work contains a sharp analysis of the social nature, in
+    some respects quite original. Sent by mail, post-paid, to any
+    address. Agents wanted. Address
+
+    FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+THE HUMAN VOICE.
+
+ITS ANATOMY, PHYSIOLOGY, PATHOLOGY, THERAPEUTICS, AND TRAINING, WITH RULES
+OF ORDER FOR LYCEUMS.
+
+    BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.
+
+    Paper, 50 Cents; Cloth, 75 Cents.
+
+    The work comprises, in a clear, concise form, directions for
+    strengthening and improving the voice, overcoming constitutional
+    difficulties, and repairing the abnormal conditions in the
+    organs of articulation as far as they can be remedied. The work
+    contains many illustrations, with full directions for vocal
+    culture and how gestures may become graceful. It contains, for
+    practice, some of the most popular selections, including the
+    best from Dickens, Henry Clay, Pope, and Bancroft, with Poe's
+    "Raven" and the "Bells;" also, "Sheridan's Ride." The chapter
+    devoted to rules of order for public meetings constitutes a
+    CHAIRMAN'S GUIDE, and with a list of debatable subjects, would
+    be considered worth the price of the book by many young men and
+    members of debating societies. Let every young man--and woman,
+    too--prepare themselves for speaking in public when occasion may
+    demand it.
+
+NOTICES.
+
+    All who desire to read and speak well, will find this book an
+    excellent guide.--_New England Journal of Education._
+
+    Any one who desires to improve his voice, should get a copy of
+    this new work. It is a safe guide for the use of all who aim to
+    become good readers and speakers.--_New York Weekly._
+
+    The work aims at a scientific and thorough treatment of the
+    subject.--_Daily Graphic._
+
+    This book supplies the greatest want of young persons entering
+    on their oratorical career.--_Rural New Yorker._
+
+    An excellent guide for those desiring to become good readers or
+    public speakers, for strengthening and improving the
+    voice.--_Publishers' Weekly._
+
+    A very useful treatise, practical in treatment, and popular in
+    form.--_Christian Intelligencer._
+
+    It will be an aid to teachers.--_National Teachers' Monthly._
+
+    It will be found a plain and intelligible guide in theory and
+    practice, to any who desire to improve or excel, and must rely
+    mainly on self-education.--_Christian Instructor, and West.
+    United Pres._
+
+    Agents wanted to sell this in High Schools, Colleges, etc. Sent
+    by mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address
+
+    FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers,
+    753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+A Choice of Premiums.
+
+The Phrenological Chart.
+
+    A handsome symbolical Head, made from new and special drawings
+    designed for the purpose. The pictorial illustrations show the
+    location of each of the phrenological organs and their natural
+    language. The Head is about twelve ins. wide, handsomely
+    lithographed in colors and on heavy plate paper 19 × 24 ins.,
+    properly mounted, with rings for hanging or may be framed, and
+    will be very attractive wherever it is seen. Price: $1.00. Is
+    given to the new subscribers, or the Bust Premium.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+The Phrenological Bust.
+
+    This Bust is made of Plaster of Paris, and so lettered as to
+    show the exact location of each of the Phrenological Organs. The
+    head is nearly life-size, and very ornamental, deserving a place
+    on the centre-table or mantel, in parlor, office or study. This,
+    with the illustrated key which accompanies each Bust, should be
+    in the hands of all who would know "HOW TO READ CHARACTER."
+    Price, $1.00, or given as a Premium to each new subscriber to
+    the JOURNAL or we will send the Chart Premium.
+
+THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL
+
+Is widely known in America and Europe, having been before the reading
+world fifty years, and occupying a place in literature exclusively its
+own, viz., the study of HUMAN NATURE in all its phases, including
+Phrenology, Physiognomy, Ethnology, Physiology, etc., together with
+the "SCIENCE OF HEALTH," and no expense will be spared to make it the
+best publication for general circulation, tending always to make men
+better physically, mentally, and morally. Parents and teachers should
+read the JOURNAL, that they may better know how to govern and train
+their children. Young people should read the JOURNAL, that they may
+make the most of themselves. It has long met with the hearty approval
+of the press and the people.
+
+    _N. Y. Times_ says: "THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL proves that the
+    increasing years of a periodical is no reason for its lessening
+    its enterprise or for diminishing its abundance of interesting
+    matter. If all magazines increased in merit as steadily as THE
+    PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL, they would deserve in time to show equal
+    evidences of popularity."
+
+    _Christian Union_ says: "It is well known as a popular
+    storehouse for useful thought. It teaches men to know themselves
+    and constantly presents matters of the highest interest to
+    intelligent readers, and has the advantage of having always been
+    not only up with the times, but a _little in advance_. Its
+    popularity shows the result of enterprise and brains."
+
+TERMS.--The JOURNAL is published monthly at $2.40 a year, or 20 cents
+a Number. To each new subscriber is given either the BUST or CHART
+Premium described above. When the Premiums are sent, 13 cents extra
+must be received with each subscription to pay postage on the JOURNAL
+and the expense of boxing and packing the Bust, which will be sent by
+express, or No. 2, a smaller size, or the Chart Premium, will be sent
+by mail, post-paid.
+
+Send amount to P. O. Orders, P. N., Drafts on New York, or in
+Registered Letters. Postage-stamps will be received. AGENTS WANTED.
+Send 10 cents for specimen Numbers, Premium List, Posters, etc.
+Address
+
+FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM
+
+A Complete Manual of Phrenology and Physiognomy for the People.
+
+    By PROF. NELSON SIZER, and H. S. DRAYTON, M.D.
+
+    Fully illustrated. Octavo, extra cloth, $1.00; paper edition, 40
+    cents.
+
+All claim to know something of _How to READ Character_, but very few
+understand all the _Signs of Character_ as shown in the _Head and
+Face_. The subject is one of great importance, and in this work the
+authors, Prof. Nelson Sizer, the phrenological examiner at the rooms
+of Fowler & Wells Co., and Dr. H. S. Drayton, the editor of the
+_Phrenological Journal_, have considered it from a practical
+standpoint, and the subject is so simplified as to be of great
+interest and easily understood.
+
+The demand for standard publications of low price has increased
+greatly with the tendency of many bookmakers to meet it. Popular
+editions of the poets, historians, scientists have fallen in line with
+the hundreds and thousands of cheap editions of the better classes of
+novels; and now, in response to the often-expressed want of the
+studious and curious, we have this voluminous yet very low-priced
+treatise on "Heads and Faces" from the point of view of Phrenology,
+Physiognomy, and Physiology. Although so low-priced, as we have noted
+above, it is no flimsy, patched-up volume, but a careful, honest work,
+replete with instruction, fresh in thought, suggestive and inspiring.
+There are nearly two hundred illustrations, exhibiting a great variety
+of faces, human and animal, and many other interesting features of the
+much-sided subject that is considered. Taken at length it is one of
+the most complete books on face-study that has been issued by its
+publishers, and is a book that must create a demand wherever it is
+seen. The style in which it has been produced, the excellent paper,
+good presswork, numerous illustrations, and elegant, engaging cover,
+make it a phenomenon even in this cheap book day. Sent by mail,
+post-paid, on receipt of price, 40 cts. AGENTS WANTED.
+
+Address, FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+A NEW BOOK.
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD; OR, HYGIENIC COOKERY.
+
+    By SUSANNA W. DODDS, M.D.
+
+    One large 12mo vol., 600 pp., extra cloth or oil-cloth. Price.
+    $2.00.
+
+The author of this work is specially qualified for her task, as she is
+both a physician and a practical housekeeper. It is unquestionably the
+best work written on the healthful preparation of food, and should be
+in the hands of every housekeeper who wishes to prepare food
+healthfully and palatably. The best way and the reason why are given.
+It is complete in every department. To show something of what is
+thought of this work we copy a few brief extracts from the many.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "This work contains a great deal of excellent advice about
+    wholesome food and gives directions for preparing many dishes in
+    a way that will make luxuries for the palate out of many simple
+    productions of Nature which are now lost by a vicious
+    cookery."--_Home Journal._
+
+    "Another book on cookery, and one that appears to be fully the
+    equal in all respects and superior to many of its predecessors.
+    Simplicity is sought to be blended with science, economy with
+    all the enjoyments of the table, and health and happiness with
+    an ample household liberally. Every purse and every taste will
+    find in Mrs. Dodds' book, material within its means of grasp for
+    efficient kitchen administration."--_N. Y. Star._
+
+    "The book can not fail to be of great value in every household
+    to those who will intelligently appreciate the author's
+    stand-point. And there are but few who will not concede that it
+    would be a public benefit if our people generally would become
+    better informed as to the better mode of living than the author
+    intends."--_Scientific American._
+
+    "She evidently knows what she is writing about, and her book is
+    eminently practical upon every page. It is more than a book of
+    recipes for making soups, and pies, and cake; it is a educator
+    of how to make the home the abode of healthful people."--_The
+    Daily Inter-Ocean_, Chicago, Ill.
+
+    "The book is a good one, and should be given a place in every
+    well-regulated _cuisine_."--_Indianapolis Journal._
+
+    "As a comprehensive work on the subject of healthful cookery,
+    there is no other in print which is superior, and which brings
+    the subject so clearly and squarely to the understanding of an
+    average housekeeper."--_Methodist Recorder._
+
+    "In this book Dr. Dodds deals with the whole subject
+    scientifically, and yet has made her instructions entirely
+    practical. This book will certainly prove useful, and if its
+    precepts could be universally followed, without doubt human life
+    would be considerably lengthened."--_Springfield Union._
+
+    "Here is a cook-book prepared by an educated lady physician. It
+    seems to be a very sensible addition to the voluminous
+    literature on this subject, which ordinarily has little
+    reference to the hygienic character of the preparations which
+    are described."--_Zion's Herald._
+
+    "This one seems to us to be most sensible and practical, while
+    yet based upon scientific principles--in short, the best. If it
+    were in every household, there would be far less misery in the
+    world."--_South and West._
+
+    "There is much good sense in the book, and there is plenty of
+    occasion for attacking the ordinary methods of cooking, as well
+    as the common style of diet."--_Morning Star._
+
+    "She sets forth the why and wherefore of cookery, and devotes
+    the larger portion of the work to those articles essential to
+    good blood, strong bodies, and vigorous minds."--_New Haven
+    Register._
+
+The work will be sent to any address, by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price, $2.00. AGENTS WANTED, to whom special terms will be given.
+Send for terms. Address
+
+FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Names of the Faculties.
+
+   1. AMATIVENESS.--Connubial love, affection.
+   A. CONJUGAL LOVE.--Union for life, pairing instinct.
+   2. PARENTAL LOVE.--Care of offspring, and all young.
+   3. FRIENDSHIP.--Sociability, union of friends.
+   4. INHABITIVENESS.--Love of home and country.
+   5. CONTINUITY.--Application, consecutiveness.
+   A. VITATIVENESS.--Clinging to life, tenacity.
+   6. COMBATIVENESS. Defense, courage.
+   7. DESTRUCTIVENESS.--Executiveness.
+   8. ALIMENTIVENESS.--Appetite for food, etc.
+   9. ACQUISITIVENESS.--Frugality, economy.
+  10. SECRETIVENESS.--Self-control, policy.
+  11. CAUTIOUSNESS.--Guardedness, safety.
+  12. APPROBATIVENESS.--Love of applause.
+  13. SELF-ESTEEM.--Self-respect, dignity.
+  14. FIRMNESS.--Stability, perseverance.
+  15. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.--Sense of right.
+  16. HOPE.--Expectation, anticipation.
+  17. SPIRITUALITY.--Intuition, prescience.
+  18. VENERATION.--Worship, adoration.
+  19. BENEVOLENCE.--Sympathy, kindness.
+  20. CONSTRUCTIVENESS.--Ingenuity, tools.
+  21. IDEALITY.--_Taste_, love of beauty, poetry.
+   B. SUBLIMITY.--Love of the grand, vast.
+  22. IMITATION.--Copying, aptitude.
+  23. MIRTH.--Fun, wit, ridicule, facetiousness.
+  24. INDIVIDUALITY.--Observation, to see.
+  25. FORM.--Memory, _shape_, looks, persons.
+  26. SIZE.--Measurement of quantity.
+  27. WEIGHT.--Control of motion, balancing.
+  28. COLOR.--Discernment, and love of color.
+  29. ORDER.--_Method_, system, going by _rule_.
+  30. CALCULATION.--Mental arithmetic.
+  31. LOCALITY.--Memory of place, position.
+  32. EVENTUALITY.--Memory of facts, events.
+  33. TIME.--Telling _when_, time of day, dates.
+  34. TUNE.--Love of music, singing.
+  35. LANGUAGE.--_Expression_ by words, acts.
+  36. CAUSALITY.--_Planning_, thinking.
+  37. COMPARISON.--Analysis, inferring.
+   C. HUMAN NATURE.--Sagacity.
+   D. SUAVITY.--_Pleasantness_, blandness.
+
+For complete definitions of all the organs of the BRAIN, and the
+features of the FACE, see New Physiognomy by S. R. WELLS, with 1,000
+Illustrations. Price, post-paid, $5, $8, and $10, according to styles
+of binding.
+
+
+"EDUCATION COMPLETE."
+
+Education and Self-Improvement Complete.--Comprising
+Physiology--Animal and Mental: Self-Culture and Perfection of
+Character: including the Management of Youth: Memory and Intellectual
+Improvement. Complete in one large, well-bound 12mo volume, with 855
+pp., and upward Seventy Engravings. Price, pre-paid, by mail. $3
+
+This work is, in all respects, one of the best educational hand-books
+in the English language. Any system of education that neglects the
+training and developing all that goes to make up a MAN, must
+necessarily be incomplete. The mind and body are so intimately related
+and connected that it is impossible to cultivate the former without it
+is properly supplemented by the latter. The work is subdivided into
+three departments--the first devoted to the preservation and
+restoration of health and the improvement of mentality; the second to
+the regulation of the feelings and perfection of the moral character;
+and the third, to the intellectual cultivation. "EDUCATION COMPLETE"
+is a library in itself, and covers the ENTIRE NATURE OF MAN. We append
+below a synopsis of the table of contents:
+
+HEALTH OF BODY AND POWER OF MIND.
+
+    PHYSIOLOGY--ANIMAL AND MENTAL HEALTH--ITS LAWS AND PRESERVATION.
+    Happiness constitutional; Pain not necessary; Object of all
+    Education; Reciprocation existing between Body and Mind; Health
+    defined; Sickness--not providential.
+
+    FOOD--ITS NECESSITY AND SELECTION.--Unperverted Appetite an
+    Infallible Directory; Different Diets Feed Different Powers; How
+    to Eat--or Mastication. Quantity, Time, etc.; How Appetite can
+    be Restrained; The Digestive Process; Exercise after Meals.
+
+    CIRCULATION, RESPIRATION, PERSPIRATION, SLEEP.--The Heart, its
+    Structure and Office; The Circulatory System; The Lungs, their
+    Structure and Functions; Respiration, and its importance;
+    Perspiration; Prevention and Cure of Colds, and their
+    consequences; Regulation of Temperature by Fire and Clothing;
+    Sleep.
+
+    THE BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM.--Position, Function, and Structure
+    of the Brain; Consciousness or the seat of the soul; Function of
+    the Nerves; How to seep the Nervous system in Health; The Remedy
+    of Diseases; Observance of the Laws of Health Effectual; The
+    Drink of Dyspeptics--its kind, times and quantity; Promotion of
+    Circulation; Consumption--its Prevention and Cure; Preventives
+    of Insanity, etc.
+
+SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER.
+
+    CONSTITUENT ELEMENTS OR CONDITIONS OF PERFECTION OF
+    CHARACTER--Progression a Law of Things--its application to human
+    improvement; Human perfectibility,--the harmonious action of all
+    the faculties; Governing the propensities by the intellectual
+    and moral faculties. Proof that the organs can be enlarged and
+    diminished; The proper management of Youth, etc.
+
+    ANALYSIS AND MEANS OF STRENGTHENING OF THE
+    FACULTIES.--Amativeness; Philoprogenitiveness; Adhesiveness;
+    Union for Life; Inhabitiveness; Continuity; Vitativeness;
+    Combativeness; Destructiveness, or Executiveness;
+    Alimentiveness; Aquativeness, or Bibativeness; Acquisitiveness;
+    Secretiveness; Cautiousness; Approbativeness; Self-Esteem;
+    Firmness. Conscientiousness; Hope; Spirituality--Marvelousness;
+    Veneration; Benevolence; Constructiveness; Ideality; Sublimity;
+    Initiation; Mirthfulness; Agreeableness--with engraved
+    illustrations.
+
+MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT APPLIED TO SELF-EDUCATION.
+
+    CLASSIFICATION AND FUNCTION OF THE FACULTIES.--Man's
+    superiority; Intellect his crowning endowment; How to strengthen
+    and improve the Memory; Definition, location, analysis, and
+    means of the strengthening the intellectual faculties.
+    INDIVIDUALITY. FORM. SIZE. WEIGHT. COLOR. ORDER. CALCULATION.
+    LOCALITY. EVENTUALITY. TIME. TUNE: Influence of Music. LANGUAGE:
+    Power of Eloquence & Good Language. PHONOGRAPHY: its advantages.
+    CAUSALITY: Teaching others to think; Astronomy; Anatomy and
+    Physiology; Study of Nature. COMPARISON: Inductive reasoning.
+    HUMAN NATURE: Adaptation.
+
+    DEVELOPMENTS REQUIRING FOR PARTICULAR AVOCATIONS.--Good
+    Teachers; Clergymen; Physician; Lawyers; Statesmen; Editors;
+    Authors; Public Speakers; Poets; Lecturers; Merchants;
+    Mechanics; Artists; Painters; Farmers; Engineers; Landlords;
+    Printers; Milliners; Seamstresses; Fancy Workers, and the like.
+
+    Full and explicit directions are given for the cultivation and
+    direction of all the powers of the mind, instruction for finding
+    the exact location of each organ, and its relative size compared
+    with others.
+
+
+WORKS PUBLISHED BY FOWLER & WELLS CO., New York.
+
+
+PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOGNOMY.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL AND SCIENCE OF HEALTH--Devoted to Ethnology,
+Physiology, Phrenology, Physiognomy, Psychology, Sociology, Biography,
+Education, Literature, etc., with Measures to Reform, Elevate and
+Improve Mankind Physically, Mentally and Spiritually. Monthly, $2.00 a
+year; 20c. a number. Bound vols. $3.00
+
+EXPRESSION: ITS ANATOMY AND PHILOSOPHY. Illustrated by Sir Charles
+Bell. Additional Notes and Illustrations by SAMUEL R. WELLS. $1.
+
+EDUCATION OF THE FEELINGS AND AFFECTIONS. Charles Bray. Edited by
+NELSON SIZER. Cloth, $1.50.
+
+     This work gives full and definite directions for the
+     cultivation or restraining of all the faculties relating to the
+     feelings or affections.
+
+COMBE'S SYSTEM OF PHRENOLOGY; With 100 Engravings. $1.25.
+
+COMBE'S CONSTITUTION OF MAN; Considered in Relation to external
+objects. With twenty engravings, and portrait of author. $1.25.
+
+     The "Constitution of Man" is a work with which every teacher
+     and every pupil should be acquainted.
+
+COMBE'S LECTURES ON PHRENOLOGY; with Notes, an Essay on the
+Phrenological Mode of Investigation, and an Historical Sketch, by
+A. BOARDMAN, M.D. $1.25.
+
+COMBE'S MORAL PHILOSOPHY; or, the Duties of Man considered in his
+Individual, Domestic, and Social Capacities. $1.25.
+
+HOW TO STUDY CHARACTER; OR, THE TRUE BASIS FOR THE SCIENCE OF MIND.
+Including a Review of Bain's Criticism of Phrenology. By Thos. A.
+Hyde. 50c.; clo. $1.00.
+
+NEW DESCRIPTIVE CHART, for the Use of examiners in the Delineation of
+Character. By S. R. Wells. 25c.
+
+NEW PHYSIOGNOMY; OR SIGNS OF CHARACTER, as manifested through
+Temperament and External Forms, and especially in the "Human Face
+Divine." With more than One Thousand Illustrations. By Samuel R.
+Wells. In one 12mo volume, 768 pages, muslin, $5.00; in heavy calf,
+marbled edges, $8.00; Turkey morocco, full gilt, $10.00.
+
+     "The treatise of Mr. Wells, which is admirably printed and
+     profusely illustrated, is probably the most complete hand-book
+     upon the subject in the language."--_N. Y. Tribune._
+
+HOW TO READ CHARACTER.--A new illustrated Hand-book of Phrenology and
+Physiognomy, for Students and Examiners, with a chart for recording
+the sizes of the different Organs of the brain in the Delineation of
+Character; with upward of 170 Engravings. By S. R. Wells. $1.25.
+
+WEDLOCK; OR, THE RIGHT RELATIONS OF THE SEXES. Disclosing the Laws of
+Conjugal Selection, and showing Who May Marry. By S. R. Wells. $1.50;
+gilt, $2.00.
+
+BRAIN AND MIND; or Mental Science Considered in Accordance with the
+Principles of Phrenology and in Relation to Modern Physiology. H. S.
+DRAYTON M.D., AND J. MCNEILL. $1.50.
+
+     This is the latest and best work published. It constitutes a
+     complete text-book of Phrenology, is profusely illustrated, and
+     will adapted to the use of students.
+
+INDICATIONS OF CHARACTER, as manifested in the general shape of the
+head and form of the face. H. S. DRAYTON, M.D. Illus. 25c.
+
+HOW TO STUDY PHRENOLOGY.--With Suggestions to Students, Lists of Best
+Works, Constitutions for Societies, etc. 12mo, paper, 10c.
+
+CHOICE OF PURSUITS: OR, WHAT TO DO AND WHY. Describing Seventy-five
+Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required for
+each. With Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers and
+Workers. By Nelson Sizer. $1.75.
+
+HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT; or,
+Phrenology in the Schoolroom and the Family. By Nelson Sizer.
+Illustrated. $1.50.
+
+FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY.--Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdotes and Experience. $1.50.
+
+THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and Free Love
+Exposed. 25c.
+
+CATHECHISM OF PHRENOLOGY.--Illustrating the Principles of the Science
+by means of Questions and Answers. Revised and enlarged by Nelson
+Sizer. 50c.
+
+HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM. A Complete Manual of Phrenology
+and Physiognomy for the People. By Prof. Nelson Sizer and H. S.
+Drayton, M.D. Nearly 200 octavo pages and 200 illustrations, price in
+paper, 40c.; ex. clo. $1.00.
+
+     All claim to know something of How to Read Character but very
+     few understand all the Signs of Character as shown in the Head
+     and Face. This is a study of which one never tires; it is
+     always fresh, for you have always new text books. The book is
+     really a great Album of Portraits, and will be found of
+     interest for the illustrations alone.
+
+MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT, applied to Self-Education and
+Juvenile Instruction. By O. S. FOWLER. $1.00.
+
+     The best work on the subject.
+
+HEREDITARY DESCENT.--Its Laws and Facts applied to Human Improvement.
+By O. S Fowler. Illustrated. $1.00.
+
+THE SCIENCE OF THE MIND APPLIED TO TEACHING: Including the Human
+Temperaments and their influence upon the Mind; The Analysis of the
+Mental Faculties and how to develop and train them; The Theory of
+Education and of the School, and Normal Methods of teaching the common
+English branches. By Prof. U. J. HOFFMAN. Profusely illustrated.
+$1.50.
+
+REMINISCENCES OF DR. SPURZHEIM AND GEORGE COMBE and a Review of the
+Science of Phrenology from the period of its discovery by Dr. GALI to
+the time of the visit of GEORGE COMBE to the United States, with a
+portrait of Dr. SPURZHEIM, by NAHEM CAPEN, LL.D. Ex. clo. $1.25.
+
+EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT COMPLETE: Comprising "Physiology,
+Animal and Mental," "Self-culture and Perfection of Character,"
+"Memory and Intellectual Improvement." By O. S. FOWLER. One large vol.
+Illus. $3.00.
+
+SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER; Including the Management of
+Children and Youth. $1.00.
+
+     One of the best of the author's works.
+
+PHYSIOLOGY, ANIMAL AND MENTAL: Applied to the Preservation and
+Restoration of Health of Body and Power of Mind. $1.00.
+
+PHRENOLOGY PROVED, ILLUSTRATED AND APPLIED. Embracing an Analysis of
+the Primary Mental Powers in their Various Degrees of Development, and
+location of the Phrenological Organs. The Mental Phenomena produced by
+their combined action, and the location of the faculties amply
+illustrated. By the Fowler Brothers. $1.25.
+
+SELF-INSTRUCTOR IN PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY. With over One Hundred
+Engravings and a Chart for Phrenologists, for the Recording of
+Phrenological Development. By the Fowler Brothers. 75c.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL MISCELLANY OF ILLUSTRATED ANNUALS OF PHRENOLOGY AND
+PHYSIOGNOMY, from 1865 to 1873 combined in one volume containing over
+400 illustrations, many portraits and biographies of distinguished
+personages. $1.50
+
+REDFIELD'S COMPARATIVE PHYSIOGNOMY; or resemblances Between Men and
+Animals, Illustrated. $2.50
+
+PHRENOLOGY AND THE SCRIPTURES.--Showing the Harmony between Phrenology
+and the Bible. 15 cents.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL CHART. A symbolical Head 12 inches across, Lithographed
+in colors, on paper 19 × 24 inches, mounted for hanging on the wall,
+or suitable for framing. $1.00
+
+EDUCATION: ITS ELEMENTARY PRINCIPLES FOUNDED ON THE NATURE OF MAN. By
+J. G. Spurzheim, $1.25
+
+NATURAL LAWS OF MAN.--A Philosophical Catechism. Sixth Edition.
+Enlarged and improved by J. G. Spurzheim, M.D. 50 cents.
+
+LECTURES ON MENTAL SCIENCE.--According to the philosophy of
+Phrenology. Delivered before the Anthropological Society. By Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. Illustrated. $1.00
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL BUST.--Showing the latest classification and exact
+location of the Organs of the Brain. It is divided so as to show each
+individual Organ on one side; with all the groups Social, Executive,
+Intellectual and Moral, classified on the other. Large size (not
+mailable) $1. Small 50 cents.
+
+
+WORKS ON MAGNETISM.
+
+    There is an increasing interest in the facts relating to
+    Magnetism, etc., and we present below a list of Works on this
+    subject.
+
+LIBRARY OF MESMERISM AND PSYCHOLOGY.--Comprising the Philosophy of
+Mesmerism, Clairvoyance, Mental Electricity.--FASCINATION, or the
+Power of Charming. Illustrating the Principles of Life in connection
+with Spirit and Matter.--THE MACROCOSM or the Universe Without, being
+an unfolding of the plan of Creation and the Correspondence of
+Truths.--THE PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY; the Doctrine of
+impressions, including the connection between Mind and Matter, also,
+the Treatment of Diseases.--PSYCHOLOGY or the Science of the Soul,
+considered Physiologically and Philosophically; with an Appendix
+containing Notes of Mesmeric and Psychical experience and
+Illustrations of the Brain and Nervous System. $3.50.
+
+PHILOSOPHY OF MESMERISM.--By Dr. John Bovee Dods. 50 cents.
+
+PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY. A course of Twelve Lectures.
+$1.00
+
+PRACTICAL INSTRUCTIONS IN ANIMAL MAGNETISM. By J. P. F. Deleuze.
+Translated by Thomas C. Hartshorn. New and Revised edition, with an
+appendix of notes by the Translator and Letters from Eminent
+Physicians and others. $2.00
+
+HISTORY OF SALEM WITCHCRAFT.--A review of Charles W. Upham's great
+Work from the _Edinburgh Review_, with Notes by Samuel R. Wells
+containing also, The Planchette Mystery, Spiritualism, by Mrs. Harriet
+Beecher Stowe, and Dr. Doddridge's Dream. $1.00
+
+FASCINATION: OR, THE PHILOSOPHY OF CHARMING. Illustrating the
+Principles of Life in connection with Spirit and Matter. By J. B.
+Newman, M.D. $1.00
+
+HOW TO MAGNETIZE, OR MAGNETISM AND CLAIRVOYANCE.--A Practical Treatise
+on the Choice, Management and Capabilities of Subjects, with
+Instructions on the Method of Procedure. By J. V. Wilson. 25c.
+
+
+HEALTH BOOKS.
+
+_This List Comprises the Best Works on Hygiene, Health, Etc._
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD OR HYGIENIC COOKERY; by Susanna W. Dodds, M.D.
+12mo. ex. clo. $2.00.
+
+     A novice in housekeeping will not be puzzled by this admirable
+     book, it is so simple, systematic, practical and withal
+     productive of much household pleasure, not only by means of the
+     delicious food prepared from its recipes, but through the
+     saving of labor and care to the housewife.
+
+HOUSEHOLD REMEDIES.--For the prevalent Disorders of the Human
+Organism, by Felix Oswald, M.D. 12mo. pp. 229 $1.00.
+
+     The author of this work is one of the keenest and most critical
+     writers on medical subjects now before the public. He writes
+     soundly and practically. He is an enthusiastic apostle of the
+     gospel of hygiene. We predict that his book will win many
+     converts to the faith and prove a valuable aid to those who are
+     already of the faith but are asking for "more light."
+
+     Among the special ailments herein considered are Consumption,
+     Asthma, Dyspepsia, Climatic Fevers, Enteric Disorders, Nervous
+     Maladies, Catarrh, Pleurisy, etc.
+
+THE TEMPERAMENTS, OR VARIETIES OF PHYSICAL CONSTITUTION IN MAN,
+considered in their relation to Mental Character and Practical Affairs
+of Life. With an Introduction by H. S. Drayton, A. M. Editor of the
+PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL. 150 Portraits and other illustrations, by D. H.
+Jacques, M.D. $1.50.
+
+HOW TO GROW HANDSOME, OR HINTS TOWARD PHYSICAL PERFECTION and the
+Philosophy of Human Beauty, showing How to Acquire and Retain Bodily
+Symmetry, Health and Vigor, secure long life and avoid the infirmities
+and deformities of age. New Edition, $1.00.
+
+MEDICAL ELECTRICITY.--A Manual for Students, showing the most
+Scientific and Rational Application to all forms of Diseases, of the
+different combinations of Electricity, Galvanism, Electro-Magnetism.
+Magneto-Electricity, and Human Magnetism, by W. White, M.D. $1.50.
+
+THE MAN WONDERFUL IN THE HOUSE BEAUTIFUL.--An allegory teaching the
+Principles of Physiology and Hygiene, and the effects of Stimulants
+and Narcotics, by Drs. C. B. and Mary A. Allen. $1.50.
+
+     To all who enjoy studies pertaining to the human body this book
+     will prove a boon. The accomplished physician, the gentle
+     mother, the modest girl, and the wide-awake school-boy will
+     find pleasure in its perusal. It is wholly unlike any book
+     previously published on the subject, and is such a thorough
+     teacher that progressive parents cannot afford to do without
+     it.
+
+THE FAMILY PHYSICIAN.--A Ready Prescriber and Hygienic Advisor With
+Reference to the Nature, Causes, Prevention and Treatment of Diseases,
+Accidents and Casualties of every kind with a Glossary and copious
+index. Illustrated with nearly three hundred engravings, by Joel Shaw,
+M.D. $3.
+
+HOW TO FEED THE BABY TO MAKE HER HEALTHY AND HAPPY, by C. E. Page, M.D.
+12mo. third edition, revised and enlarged. Paper, 50c. extra cloth.
+75c.
+
+     This is the most important work ever published on the subject
+     of infant dietetics.
+
+THE NATURAL CURE OF CONSUMPTION, Constipation, Bright's Disease,
+Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Colds, Fevers, etc. How these Disorders
+Originate and How to Prevent Them. By C. E. Page, M.D. cloth, $1.00
+
+HORSES, THEIR FEED AND THEIR FEET. A Manual of Horse Hygiene.
+Invaluable to the veteran or the novice, pointing out the true sources
+of disease, and how to prevent and counteract them. By C. E. Page,
+M.D. Paper 50c.; cloth 75c.
+
+     This is the best book on the care of horses ever published,
+     worth many times its cost to every horse owner.
+
+THE MOVEMENT CURE.--The History and Philosophy, of this System of
+Medical Treatment, with examples of Single Movements, The Principles
+of Massage, and directions for their Use in various Forms of Chronic
+Diseases. New edition by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.50.
+
+MASSAGE.--Giving the Principles and directions for its application in
+all Forms of Chronic Diseases, by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.00
+
+THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE.--By John Cowan, M.D. Ex. clo. $3.00.
+
+TOBACCO: ITS PHYSICAL, INTELLECTUAL AND MORAL EFFECTS ON THE HUMAN
+SYSTEM, by Dr. Alcott. New and revised edition with notes and
+additions by N. Sizer. 25c.
+
+SOBER AND TEMPERATE LIFE.--The Discourses and Letters of Louis Corbaro
+on a Sober and Temperate Life. 50c.
+
+SMOKING AND DRINKING. By James Parton. 50c.; cloth. 75c.
+
+FOOD AND DIET. With observations on the Dietetical Regimen, suited for
+Disordered States of the Digestive Organs, by J. Pereira, M.D., F.R.S.
+$1.50.
+
+PRINCIPLES APPLIED TO THE PRESERVATION OF HEALTH and the improvement
+of Physical and Mental Education, by Andrew Combe, M.D. Illustrated,
+cloth, $1.50.
+
+WATER CURE IN CHRONIC DISEASES. An Exposition of the Causes, Progress,
+and Termination of various Chronic Diseases of the Digestive Organs,
+Lungs, Nerves. Limbs and Skin, and of their Treatment by Water and
+other hygienic Means. By J. M. Gully, M.D. $1.25.
+
+SCIENCE OF HUMAN LIFE. With a copious Index and Biographical Sketch of
+the author, Sylvester Graham. Illustrated, $3.00.
+
+MANAGEMENT OF INFANCY, PHYSIOLOGICAL AND MORAL TREATMENT. With Notes
+and a Supplementary Chapter. $1.25.
+
+DIET QUESTION.--Giving the Reason Why, from "Health in the Household."
+by S. W. Dodds, M.D. 25c.
+
+HEALTH MISCELLANY.--An important collection of Health Papers. Nearly
+100 octavo pages. 25c.
+
+HOW TO BE WELL, OR COMMON SENSE MEDICAL HYGIENE. A book for the
+People, giving directions for the Treatment and Cure of Acute Diseases
+without the use of Drug Medicines; also General Hints on Health. $1.00
+
+FOREORDAINED.--A Story of Heredity and of Special Paternal Influences,
+by an Observer. 12mo. pp. 90. Paper, 50c.; extra cloth, 75c.
+
+CONSUMPTION, its Prevention and Cure by the Movement Cure. 25c.
+
+NOTES ON BEAUTY, VIGOR AND DEVELOPMENT; or, How to Acquire Plumpness
+of Form, Strength of Limb and Beauty of Complexion. Illustrated. 10c.
+
+TEA AND COFFEE.--Their Physical, Intellectual and Moral Effects on the
+Human System, by Dr. Alcott. NEW and revised edition with notes and
+additions by Nelson Sizer. 25c.
+
+ACCIDENTS AND EMERGENCIES, a guide containing Directions for the
+Treatment in Bleeding, Cuts. Sprains, Ruptures, Dislocations. Burns
+and Scalds. Bites of Mad Dogs. Choking, Poisons, Fits, Sunstrokes,
+Drowning, etc., by Alfred Smee, with Notes and additions by R. T.
+Trall, M.D. New and revised edition. 25c.
+
+SPECIAL LIST.--We have in addition to the above, Private Medical Works
+and Treatises. This Special List will be sent on receipt of stamp.
+
+
+WORKS ON HYGIENE BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.
+
+_These works may be considered standard from the reformatory hygienic
+standpoint. Thousands of people owe their lives and good health to
+their teaching._
+
+HYDROPATHIC ENCYCLOPEDIA.--A System of Hydropathy and Hygiene.
+Physiology of the Human Body; Dietetics and Hydropathic Cookery;
+Theory and Practice of Water Treatment; Special Pathology and
+Hydro-Therapeutics, including the Nature, Causes, Symptoms and
+Treatment of all known diseases; Application of Hydropathy to
+Midwifery and the Nursery with nearly One Thousand Pages including a
+Glossary. 2 vols. in one $4.
+
+HYGIENIC HAND-BOOK.--Intended as a Practical Guide for the Sick-room.
+Arranged alphabetically. $1.25.
+
+ILLUSTRATED FAMILY GYMNASIUM.--Containing the most improved methods of
+applying Gymnastic, Callisthenic, Kinesipathic and Vocal Exercises to
+the Development of the Bodily Organs, the invigoration of their
+functions, the preservation of Health and the Cure of Diseases and
+Deformities. $1.25.
+
+THE HYDROPATHIC COOK-BOOK, with Recipes for Cooking on Hygienic
+Principles. Containing also a Philosophical Exposition of the
+Relations of Food to Health, the Chemical Elements and Proximate
+Constitution of Alimentary Principles; the Nutritive Properties of all
+kinds of Aliments; the Relative value of Vegetable and Animal
+Substances; the Selection and Preservation of Dietetic Material, etc.
+$1.00.
+
+FRUITS AND FARINACEA: THE PROPER FOOD OF MAN.--Being an attempt to
+prove by History, Anatomy, Physiology and Chemistry that the Original,
+Natural and Best Diet of Man is derived from the Vegetable Kingdom. By
+John Smith. With Notes by Trall. $1.25.
+
+DIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA.--A Complete Explanation of the Physiology of
+the Digestive Processes, with the Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsia
+and other Disorders. Illustrated. $1.00.
+
+THE MOTHER'S HYGIENE HAND-BOOK for the Normal Development and Training
+of Women and Children, and the Treatment of their Diseases. $1.00.
+
+POPULAR PHYSIOLOGY.--A Familiar Exposition of the Structures,
+Functions and Relations of the Human System and the Preservation of
+Health. $1.25.
+
+THE TRUE TEMPERANCE PLATFORM.--An Exposition of the Fallacy of
+Alcoholic Medication. 50 cents.
+
+THE ALCOHOLIC CONTROVERSY.--A Review of the _Westminster Review_ on
+the Physiological Errors of Teetotalism. 50 cents.
+
+THE HUMAN VOICE.--Its Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, Therapeutics and
+Training, with Rules of Order for Lyceums. 50 cents.
+
+THE TRUE HEALING ART: OR HYGIENIC _VS._ DRUG MEDICATION. An Address
+delivered before the Smithsonian Institute, Washington. D. C. 25 cts.;
+clo., 50 cents.
+
+WATER-CURE FOR THE MILLION.--The processes of Water Cure Explained.
+Rules for Bathing, Dieting, Exercising, Recipes for Cooking, etc.,
+etc. Directions for Home Treatment. Paper. 15 cts.
+
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+HOW TO WRITE.--A manual of Composition and Letter-Writing. 60c.
+
+HOW TO TALK.--A Pocket Manual of Conversation and Debate, more than
+Five Hundred Common Mistakes in Speaking Corrected. 60c.
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+HOW TO BEHAVE.--A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette and Guide to
+Correct Personal Habits with Rules for Debating Societies and
+Deliberative Assemblies. 60c.
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+HOW TO DO BUSINESS.--A Manual of Practical Affairs and a Guide to
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+HOPES AND HELPS FOR THE YOUNG OF BOTH SEXES.--Relating to the
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+Conversation, Social Affections, Courtship and Marriage, by Rev G. S.
+Weaver. $1.00
+
+AIMS AND AIDS FOR GIRLS AND YOUNG WOMEN, on the Various Duties of
+Life. Including Physical, Intellectual and Moral Development, Dress,
+Beauty, Fashion, Employment, Education, the Home Relations, their
+Duties to Young Men, Marriage, Womanhood and Happiness, by the same
+$1.00.
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+WAYS OF LIFE, showing the Right Way and the Wrong Way Contrasting the
+High Way and the Low Way; the True Way and the False Way; the Upward
+Way and the Downward Way; the Way of Honor and of Dishonor, by Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. 75c.
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+THE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD.--Embracing the Husband, Wife, Father, Mother,
+Child, Brother and Sister, by Rev. G. S. Weaver. 75c.
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+WEAVER'S WORKS FOR THE YOUNG, Comprising "Hopes and Helps for the
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+A NATURAL SYSTEM OF ELOCUTION AND ORATORY.--Founded on an analysis of
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+Physiological and Expressional. By THOS. A. HYDE and WM. HYDE.
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+THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT, CONTAINING THE ORIGINAL GREEK TEXT OF THE NEW
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+A BACHELOR'S TALKS ABOUT MARRIED LIFE AND THINGS ADJACENT, by Rev.
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+A LUCKY WAIF.--A story for Mothers, of Home and School Life, by Ellen
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+THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER. In Seven Parts. By Samuel T.
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
+Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits, by Samuel R Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits
+       Embracing An Exposition Of The Principles Of Good Manners;
+              Useful Hints On The Care Of The Person, Eating, Drinking,
+              Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-Culture, And Behavior At
+              Home; The Etiquette Of Salutations, Introductions,
+              Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation,
+              Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, The Street, The
+              Church, Places Of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., With
+              Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship,
+              and Rules of Order for Debating Societies
+
+Author: Samuel R Wells
+
+Release Date: September 12, 2008 [EBook #26597]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO BEHAVE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Karen Dalrymple, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images from the Mann Library, Cornell
+University.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="center"><i>HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT&mdash;No. III</i></div>
+
+<hr class="half" />
+<h1>HOW TO BEHAVE</h1>
+
+<h2>
+<br />
+A POCKET MANUAL<br /><br />
+<span class="small">OF</span><br />
+<span class="large">Republican Etiquette,</span><br />
+<span class="small">AND</span><br />
+<span class="medium">GUIDE TO CORRECT PERSONAL HABITS,</span><br />
+<span class="small">EMBRACING<br /><br />
+AN EXPOSITION OF THE PRINCIPLES OF GOOD MANNERS; USEFUL HINTS ON THE
+CARE<br /> OF THE PERSON, EATING, DRINKING, EXERCISE, HABITS, DRESS,
+SELF-CULTURE, AND<br /> BEHAVIOR AT HOME; THE ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS,
+INTRODUCTIONS,<br /> RECEPTIONS, VISITS, DINNERS, EVENING PARTIES,
+CONVERSATION,<br /> LETTERS, PRESENTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE STREET, THE<br />
+CHURCH, PLACES OF AMUSEMENT, TRAVELING, ETC.,<br /><br />
+WITH<br /><br />
+<span class="smcap">Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of
+Order for Debating Societies.</span></span><br /><br />
+</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
+<img src="images/img1.jpg" width="350" height="39" alt="Signature: Samuel R. (Roberts) Wells" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The air and manner which we neglect, as little things, are
+frequently what the world judges us by, and makes them decide
+for or against us.&mdash;<i>La Bruy&egrave;re.</i> Order my steps in thy
+word.&mdash;<i>Bible.</i></p></div>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<div class="center">
+NEW YORK:<br />
+FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., PUBLISHERS,<br />
+753 <span class="smcap">Broadway</span>.<br />
+1887.<br />
+</div>
+
+<div class="center">
+<br /><br />
+<span class="medium">ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS IN THE YEAR 1857 BY</span><br />
+FOWLER AND WELLS<br />
+<span class="medium">IN THE CLERK'S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED<br />
+STATES FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="section" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</a></span></p>
+<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#INTRODUCTION">INTRODUCTION.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Politeness Defined&mdash;The Foundation of Good Manners&mdash;The Civil Code and
+the Code of Civility&mdash;The Instinct of Courtesy&mdash;Chesterfield's
+Method&mdash;The Golden Rule&mdash;American Politeness&mdash;Utility of Good Manners
+Illustrated.<span class="linenum">Page <a href='#Page_ix'>ix</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#I">I.&mdash;PERSONAL HABITS.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Where to Commence&mdash;Care of the Person a Social Duty&mdash;Cleanliness&mdash;The
+Daily Bath&mdash;Soap and Water&mdash;The Feet&mdash;Change of Linen&mdash;The Nails&mdash;The
+Head&mdash;The Teeth&mdash;The Breath&mdash;Eating and Drinking&mdash;What to Eat&mdash;When to
+Eat&mdash;How much to Eat&mdash;What to Drink&mdash;Breathing&mdash;Exercise&mdash;The
+Complexion&mdash;Tobacco&mdash;Spitting&mdash;Gin and Gentility&mdash;Onions, etc.&mdash;Little
+Things<span class="linenum"><a href='#Page_15'>15</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#II">II.&mdash;DRESS.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">The Meaning of Dress&mdash;The Uses of Dress&mdash;Fitness the First Essential&mdash;The
+Art of Dress&mdash;The Short Dress for Ladies&mdash;Working-Dress for
+Gentlemen&mdash;Ornaments&mdash;Materials for Dress&mdash;Mrs. Manners on Dress&mdash;The
+Hair and Beard&mdash;Art <i>vs.</i> Fashion&mdash;Signs of the Good Time Coming<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_31'>31</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#III">III.&mdash;SELF-CULTURE.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Moral and Social Training&mdash;Cultivation of Language&mdash;Position and
+Movement&mdash;The Ease and Grace of Childhood&mdash;Standing&mdash;Sitting&mdash;Walking&mdash;
+Hints to the Ladies&mdash;Self-Command&mdash; Observation&mdash;Practical Lesson<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_42'>42</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#IV">IV.&mdash;FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Manners and Morals&mdash;Human Rights&mdash;Duties&mdash;The Rights of the
+Senses&mdash;The Faculties and their Claims&mdash;Expression of Opinions&mdash;The
+Sacredness of Privacy&mdash;Conformity&mdash;Singing out of Tune&mdash;Doing as the
+Romans Do&mdash;Courtesy <i>vs.</i> Etiquette&mdash;An Anecdote&mdash;Harmony&mdash;Equality&mdash;A
+Remark to be Remembered&mdash;General Principles more Important than
+Particular Observances<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_48'>48</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#V">V.&mdash;DOMESTIC MANNERS.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">A Test of Good Manners&mdash;Good Behavior at Home&mdash;American
+Children&mdash;Teaching Children to be Polite&mdash;Behavior to
+Parents&mdash;Brothers and Sisters&mdash;Husband and Wife&mdash;Married
+Lovers&mdash;Entertaining Guests&mdash;Letting your Guests Alone&mdash;Making one "at
+Home"&mdash;Making Apologies&mdash;Duties of Guests&mdash;Treatment of
+Servants&mdash;Rights of Servants&mdash;"Thank You"<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_56'>56</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#VI">VI.&mdash;THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Introductions&mdash;Letters of Introduction&mdash;Speaking without an
+Introduction&mdash;Salutations&mdash; Receptions&mdash;Visits and Calls&mdash;Table
+Manners&mdash;Conversations&mdash;Chesterfield on Conversation&mdash;Music&mdash;Letters
+and Notes&mdash;Up and Down Stairs<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</a></span> &mdash;Which Goes First?&mdash;An American
+Habit&mdash;Gloved or Ungloved?&mdash;Equality&mdash;False Shame&mdash;Pulling out one's
+Watch&mdash;Husband and Wife&mdash;Bowing <i>vs.</i> Curtseying&mdash;Presents&mdash;
+Snobbery&mdash;Children<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_64'>64</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#VII">VII.&mdash;ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Dinner Parties&mdash;Invitations&mdash;Dress&mdash;Punctuality&mdash;Going to the
+Table&mdash;Arrangement of Guests&mdash;Duties of the Host&mdash;Duties of the
+Guests&mdash;The "Grace"&mdash;Eating Soup&mdash;Fish&mdash;The Third Course&mdash;What to do
+with your Knife and Fork&mdash;Declining Wine&mdash;Finger Glasses&mdash;Carving&mdash;
+Evening Parties and their Observances&mdash;French Leave&mdash;Sports and
+Games&mdash;Promiscuous Kissing&mdash;Dancing&mdash;Christmas&mdash;The New Year&mdash;
+Thanksgiving&mdash;Birthdays&mdash;Excursions and Picnics&mdash;Weddings&mdash;Funerals<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_83'>83</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#VIII">VIII.&mdash;THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">How to Behave on the Street&mdash;Stopping Business Men on the
+Street&mdash;Walking with Ladies&mdash;Shopping&mdash;At Church&mdash;At Places of
+Amusement&mdash;In a Picture Gallery&mdash;The Presence&mdash;Traveling&mdash;The Rush for
+Places&mdash;The Rights of Fellow-Travelers&mdash;Giving up Seats to the
+Ladies&mdash;A Hint to the Ladies on Politeness&mdash;Paying Fares<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_100'>100</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#IX">IX.&mdash;LOVE AND COURTSHIP.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Boyish Loves&mdash;The Proper Age to Marry&mdash;Waiting for a Fortune&mdash;Importance
+of Understanding Physiological Laws&mdash;Earnestness and Sincerity in Love&mdash;
+Particular Attentions&mdash;Presents&mdash; Confidants&mdash;Declarations&mdash;Asking
+"Pa"&mdash;Refusals&mdash;Engagement&mdash;Breaking Off&mdash;Marriage<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_110'>110</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#X">X.&mdash;PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Courtesy in Debate&mdash;Origin of the Parliamentary Code&mdash;Rules of
+Order&mdash; Motions&mdash;Speaking&mdash;Submitting a Question&mdash;Voting&mdash;A Quorum The
+Democratic Principle&mdash;Privileged Questions&mdash;Order of Business&mdash;Order
+of Debate<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_116'>116</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#XI">XI.&mdash;MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Republican Distinctions&mdash;Natural Inequalities&mdash;American Toad
+Eaters&mdash;General Lack of Reverence for Real Nobility&mdash;City and
+Country&mdash;Imported Manners&mdash;Fictitious Titles&mdash;A Mirror for Certain
+Men&mdash;Washington's Code of Manners&mdash;Our Social Uniform&mdash;A Hint to the
+Ladies&mdash;An Obliging Disposition&mdash;Securing a Home&mdash;Taste <i>vs.</i>
+Fashion&mdash;Special Claims&mdash;Propriety of Deportment&mdash;False
+Pride&mdash;Awkwardness of being Dressed<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_124'>124</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#XII">XII.&mdash;MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Cheerfulness and Good Humor&mdash;The Art of Pleasing&mdash;Adaptation of
+Manners&mdash;Bad Habits&mdash;Do what you are About&mdash;People who Never Learn&mdash;Local
+Manners&mdash;How to Confer Favors&mdash;How to Refuse&mdash;Spirit&mdash;Civility to Women<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_135'>135</a></span></div>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a href="#XIII">XIII.&mdash;ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.</a></div>
+
+<div class="chap">Elder Blunt and Sister Scrub Taking off the Hat, or John and his
+Employer&mdash;A Learned Man at Table&mdash;English Women in High Life&mdash;"Say so,
+if you Please"<span class="linenum"> <a href='#Page_139'>139</a></span></div>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE.</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 75px;">
+<img src="images/imgt.jpg" width="75" height="168" alt="T" title="" />
+</div><p>his is an honest and earnest little book, if it has no other merit;
+and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of our
+great Republic, whom it is designed to aid in becoming, what we are
+convinced they all desire to be, true American ladies and gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>Desiring to make our readers something better than mere imitators of
+foreign manners, often based on social conditions radically different
+from our own&mdash;something better than imitators of <i>any</i> manners, in
+fact, we have dwelt at greater length and with far more emphasis upon
+general principles, than upon special observances, though the latter
+have their place in our work. It has been our first object to impress
+upon their minds the fact, that good manners and good morals rest upon
+the same basis, and that justice and benevolence can no more be
+satisfied without the one than without the other.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_viii" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</a></span></p>
+<p>As in the other numbers of this series of Hand-Books, so in this, we
+have aimed at usefulness rather than originality; but our plan being
+radically different from that of most other manuals of etiquette, we
+have been able to avail ourself to only a very limited extent of the
+labors of others, except in the matter of mere conventional forms.</p>
+
+<p>Sensible of the imperfections of our work, but hoping that it will do
+some acceptable service in the cause of good manners, and aid, in a
+humble way, in the building up of a truly American and republican
+school of politeness, we now submit it, with great deference, to a
+discerning public.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ix" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="INTRODUCTION" id="INTRODUCTION"></a>INTRODUCTION.</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 63px;">
+<img src="images/imgs.jpg" width="63" height="163" alt="S" title="" />
+</div><p>ome one has defined politeness as "only an elegant form of justice;"
+but it is something more. It is the result of the combined action of
+all the moral and social feelings, guided by judgment and refined by
+taste. It requires the exercise of benevolence, veneration (in its
+human aspect), adhesiveness, and ideality, as well as of
+conscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of human
+solidarity&mdash;the flowering of philanthropy&mdash;the fine art of the social
+passions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and painting
+and sculpture to the eye.</p>
+
+<p>One can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a mere
+matter of arbitrary forms. It has as real and permanent a foundation
+in the nature and relations of men and women, as have government and
+the common law. The civil code is not more binding upon us than is the
+code of civility. Portions of the former become, from time to time,
+inoperative&mdash;mere dead letters on the statute-book, on account of the
+conditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist; and many of
+the enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding force
+from the same cause. Many of the forms now in vogue, in what is called
+fashionable society, are of this character. Under the circumstances
+which called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful;
+under changed circumstances they are simply absurd. There are other
+forms of observances over which time and place have no influence&mdash;which
+are always and everywhere binding.</p>
+
+<p>Politeness itself is always the same. The rules of etiquette, which
+are merely the forms in which it finds expression, vary with time and
+place. A sincere regard for the rights of others, in the smallest
+matters as well as the largest, genuine kindness of heart; good taste,
+and self-command, which are the foundations of good manners, are never
+out of fashion; and a person who possesses them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_x" id="Page_x">[Pg x]</a></span> can hardly be rude or
+discourteous, however far he may transgress conventional usages:
+lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules of
+etiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice to
+make one truly polite.</p>
+
+<p>"Politeness," says La Bruy&egrave;re, "seems to be a certain care, by the
+manner of our words and actions, to make others pleased with us and
+themselves." This definition refers the matter directly to those
+qualities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations of
+good manners. To the same effect is the remark of Madame Celnart, that
+"the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is <i>to have
+an intention of always doing right</i>."</p>
+
+<p>Some persons have the "instinct of courtesy" so largely developed that
+they seem hardly to need culture at all. They are equal to any
+occasion, however novel. They never commit blunders, or if they do
+commit them, they seem not to be blunders in them. So there are those
+who sing, speak, or draw intuitively&mdash;by inspiration. The great
+majority of us, however, must be content to acquire these arts by
+study and practice. In the same way we must acquire the art of
+behavior, so far as behavior is an art. We must possess, in the first
+place, a sense of equity, good-will toward our fellow-men, kind
+feelings, magnanimity and self-control. Cultivation will do the rest.
+But we most never forget that manners as well as morals are founded on
+certain eternal principles, and that while "the <i>letter</i> killeth,"
+"the <i>spirit</i> giveth <i>life</i>."</p>
+
+<p>The account which Lord Chesterfield gives of the method by which he
+acquired the reputation of being the most polished man in England, is
+a strong example of the efficacy of practice, in view of which no one
+need despair. He was naturally singularly deficient in that grace
+which afterward so distinguished him. "I had a strong desire," he
+says, "to please, and was sensible that I had nothing but the desire.
+I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means too. I studied
+attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the address,
+and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please. I imitated
+them as well as I could: if I heard that one man was reckoned
+remarkably genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions, and
+attitudes, and formed my own upon them. When I heard of another whose
+conversation was agreeable and engaging I listened and attended to the
+turn of it. I addressed myself, though <i>de tr&egrave;s mauvaise gr&acirc;ce</i> [with
+a very bad grace], to all the most fashionable fine ladies; confessed
+and laughed with them at my own<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xi" id="Page_xi">[Pg xi]</a></span> awkwardness and rawness, recommending
+myself as an object for them to try their skill in forming."</p>
+
+<p>Lord Bacon says: "To attain good manners it almost sufficeth not to
+despise them, and that if a man labor too much to express them, he
+shall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected."</p>
+
+<p>To these testimonies we may add the observation of La Rochefoucauld,
+that "in manners there are no good copies, for besides that the copy
+is almost always clumsy or exaggerated, the air which is suited to one
+person sits ill upon another."</p>
+
+<p>The greater must have been the genius of Chesterfield which enabled
+him to make the graces of others his own, appropriating them only so
+far as they <i>fitted him</i>, instead of blindly and servilely imitating
+his models.</p>
+
+<p>C. P. Bronson truly says: "In politeness, as in every thing else
+connected with the formation of character, we are too apt to begin on
+the outside, instead of the inside; instead of beginning with the
+heart, and trusting to that to form the manners, many begin with the
+manners, and leave the heart to chance and influences. The golden rule
+contains the very life and soul of politeness: 'Do unto others as you
+would they should do unto you.' Unless children and youth are taught,
+by precept and example, to abhor what is selfish, and prefer another's
+pleasure and comfort to their own, their politeness will be entirely
+artificial, and used only when interest and policy dictate. True
+politeness is perfect freedom and ease, treating others just as you
+love to be treated. Nature is always graceful: affectation, with all
+her art, can never produce any thing half so pleasing. The very
+perfection of elegance is to imitate nature; how much better to have
+the reality than the imitation! Anxiety about the opinions of others
+fetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness; all would
+appear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess."</p>
+
+<p>A writer in <i>Life Illustrated</i>, to whose excellent observations on
+etiquette we shall have further occasion to refer, contends that the
+instinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the American people. "It
+is shown," he says, "in the civility which marks our intercourse with
+one another. It is shown in the deference which is universally paid to
+the presence of the gentler sex. It is shown in the excessive fear
+which prevails among us of offending public opinion. It is shown in
+the very extravagances of our costume and decoration, in our lavish
+expenditures upon house and equipage. It is shown in the avidity with
+which every new work is bought and read which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xii" id="Page_xii">[Pg xii]</a></span> pretends to lay down
+the laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be, <i>par
+excellence</i>, polite. It is shown in the fact, that, next to calling a
+man a liar, the most offensive and stinging of all possible
+expressions is, 'You are no gentleman!'"</p>
+
+<p>He claims that this is a national trait, and expresses the belief that
+every uncorrupt American man desires to be, and to be thought, a
+gentleman; that every uncorrupt American woman desires to be, and to
+be thought, a lady.</p>
+
+<p>"But," he adds, "the instinct of courtesy is not enough, nor is
+opportunity equivalent to possession. The truth is palpable, that our
+men are not all gentlemen, nor our women all ladies, nor our children
+all docile and obliging. In that small and insignificant circle which
+is called 'Society,' which, small and insignificant as it is, gives
+the tone to the manners of the nation, the chief efforts seem to be,
+to cleanse the outside of the platter, to conceal defects by gloss and
+glitter. Its theory of politeness and its maxims of behavior are drawn
+from a state of things so different from that which here prevails,
+that they produce in us little besides an exaggerated ungracefulness,
+a painful constraint, a complete artificiality of conduct and
+character. We are trying to shine in borrowed plumes. We would glisten
+with foreign varnish. To produce an <i>effect</i> is our endeavor. We
+prefer to <i>act</i>, rather than <i>live</i>. The politeness which is based on
+sincerity, good-will, self-conquest, and a minute, habitual regard for
+the rights of others, is not, we fear, the politeness which finds
+favor in the saloons upon which the upholsterer has exhausted the
+resources of his craft. Yet without possessing, in a certain degree,
+the qualities we have named, no man ever did, and no man ever will,
+become a gentleman. Where they do not bear sway, society may be
+brilliant in garniture, high in pretension, but it is intrinsically
+and incurably <i>vulgar</i>!"</p>
+
+<p>The utility of good manners is universally acknowledged perhaps, but
+the extent to which genuine courtesy may be made to contribute to our
+success as well as our happiness is hardly realized. We can not more
+satisfactorily illustrate this point than by quoting the following
+lesson of experience from the Autobiography of the late Dr. Caldwell,
+the celebrated physician and phrenologist:</p>
+
+<p>"In the year 1825 I made, in London, in a spirit of wager, a decisive
+and satisfactory experiment as to the effect of civil and courteous
+manners on people of various ranks and descriptions.</p>
+
+<p>"There were in a place a number of young Americans, who often
+complained to me of the neglect and rudeness experienced by them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xiii" id="Page_xiii">[Pg xiii]</a></span> from
+citizens to whom they spoke in the streets. They asserted, in
+particular, that as often as they requested directions to any point in
+the city toward which they were proceeding, they either received an
+uncivil and evasive answer, or none at all. I told them that my
+experience on the same subject had been exceedingly different: that I
+had never failed to receive a civil reply to my questions&mdash;often
+communicating the information requested: and that I could not help
+suspecting that their failure to receive similar answers arose, in
+part at least, if not entirely, to the plainness, not to say the
+bluntness, of their manner in making their inquiries. The correctness
+of this charge, however, they sturdily denied, asserting that their
+manner of asking for information was good enough for those to whom
+they addressed themselves. Unable to convince them by words of the
+truth of my suspicions, I proposed to them the following simple and
+conclusive experiment:</p>
+
+<p>"'Let us take together a walk of two or three hours in some of the
+public streets of the city. You shall yourselves designate the persons
+to whom I shall propose questions, and the subjects also to which the
+question shall relate; and the only restriction imposed is, that no
+question shall be proposed to any one who shall appear to be greatly
+hurried, agitated, distressed, or any other way deeply preoccupied, in
+mind or body, and no one shall speak to the person questioned but
+myself.'</p>
+
+<p>"My proposition being accepted, out we sallied, and to work we went;
+and I continued my experiment until my young friends surrendered at
+discretion, frankly acknowledging that my opinion was right, and
+theirs, of course was wrong; and that, in our passage through life,
+courtesy of address and deportment may be made both a pleasant and
+powerful means to attain our ends and gratify our wishes.</p>
+
+<p>"I put questions to more than twenty persons of every rank, from the
+high-bred gentleman to the servant in livery, and received in every
+instance a satisfactory reply. If the information asked for was not
+imparted, the individual addressed gave an assurance of his at being
+unable to communicate it.</p>
+
+<p>"What seemed to surprise my friends was, that the individuals accosted
+by me almost uniformly imitated my own manner. If I uncovered my head,
+as I did in speaking to a gentleman, or even to a man of ordinary
+appearance and breeding, he did the same in his reply; and when I
+touched my hat to a liveried coachman or waiting man, his hat was
+immediately under his arm. So much may be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xiv" id="Page_xiv">[Pg xiv]</a></span> done, and such advantages
+gained, by simply avoiding coarseness and vulgarity, and being well
+bred and agreeable. Nor can the case be otherwise. For the foundation
+of good breeding is good nature and good sense&mdash;two of the most useful
+and indispensable attributes of a well-constituted mind. Let it not be
+forgotten, however, that good breeding is not to be regarded as
+identical with politeness&mdash;a mistake which is too frequently, if not
+generally, committed. A person may be exceedingly polite without the
+much higher and more valuable accomplishment of good breeding."</p>
+
+<p>Believing that the natural qualities essential to the character of the
+gentleman or the lady exist in a high degree among our countrymen and
+countrywomen, and that they universally desire to develop these
+qualities, and to add to them the necessary knowledge of all the truly
+significant and living forms and usages of good society, we have
+written the work now before you. We have not the vanity to believe
+that the mere reading of it will, of itself, convert an essentially
+vulgar person into a lady or a gentleman; but we do hope that we have
+furnished those who most need it with available and efficient aid; and
+in this hope we dedicate this little "Manual of Republican Etiquette"
+to all who are, or would be, in the highest sense of these terms,</p>
+
+<div class="center">TRUE REPUBLICAN LADIES OR GENTLEMEN</div>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2>HOW TO BEHAVE.</h2>
+
+
+
+<hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="I" id="I"></a>I.</h2>
+
+<h2>PERSONAL HABITS.</h2>
+
+<div class="center medium"><br />Attention to the person is the first necessity of good
+manners.&mdash;<i>Anon.</i></div>
+
+
+<h3><br />I.&mdash;WHERE TO COMMENCE.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 55px;">
+<img src="images/imgi.jpg" width="55" height="170" alt="I" title="" />
+</div><p>f you wish to commence aright the study of manners, you must make
+your own person the first lesson. If you neglect this you will apply
+yourself to those which follow with very little profit. Omit,
+therefore, any other chapter in the book rather than this.</p>
+
+<p>The proper care and adornment of the person is a social as well as an
+individual duty. You have a right to go about with unwashed hands and
+face, and to wear soiled and untidy garments, perhaps, but you have no
+right to offend the senses of others by displaying such hands, face,
+and garments in society. Other people have rights as well as yourself,
+and no right of yours can extend so far as to infringe theirs.</p>
+
+<p>But we may safely assume that no reader of these pages wishes to
+render himself disgusting or even disagreeable or to cut himself off
+from the society of his fellow-men. We address those who seek social
+intercourse and desire<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> to please. <i>They</i> will not think our words
+amiss, even though they may seem rather "personal;" since we have
+their highest good in view, and speak in the most friendly spirit.
+Those who do not need our hints and suggestions under this head, and
+to whom none of our remarks may apply, will certainly have the
+courtesy to excuse them for the sake of those to whom they will be
+useful.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;CLEANLINESS.</h3>
+
+<p>"Cleanliness is akin to godliness," it is said. It is not less closely
+related to gentility. First of all, then, keep yourself scrupulously
+clean&mdash;not your hands and face merely, but your whole person, from the
+crown of your head to the sole of your foot. Silk stockings may hide
+dirty feet and ankles from the eye, but they often reveal themselves
+to another sense, when the possessor little dreams of such an
+exposure. It is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and be
+strictly clean, than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richest
+clothing. A coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar,
+but dirt is essentially so. We do not here refer, of course, to one's
+condition while engaged in his or her industrial occupation. Soiled
+hands and even a begrimed face are badges of honor in the field, the
+workshop, or the kitchen, but in a country in which soap and water
+abound, there is no excuse for carrying them into the parlor or the
+dining-room.</p>
+
+<p>A clean skin is as essential to health, beauty, and personal comfort
+as it is to decency; and without health and that perfect freedom from
+physical disquiet which comes only from the normal action of all the
+functions of the bodily organs, your behavior can never be
+satisfactory to yourself or agreeable to others. Let us urge you,
+then, to give this matter your first attention.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p>
+<h4>1. <i>The Daily Bath.</i></h4>
+
+<p>To keep clean you must bathe frequently. In the first place you should
+wash the whole body with pure soft water every morning on rising from
+your bed, rubbing it till dry with a coarse towel, and afterward using
+friction with the hands. If you have not been at all accustomed to
+cold bathing, commence with tepid water, lowering the temperature by
+degrees till that which is perfectly cold becomes agreeable. In warm
+weather, comfort and cleanliness alike require still more frequent
+bathing. Mohammed made frequent ablutions a religious duty; and in
+that he was right. The rank and fetid odors which exhale from a foul
+skin can hardly be neutralized by the sweetest incense of devotion.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Soap and Water.</i></h4>
+
+<p>But the daily bath of which we have spoken is not sufficient. In
+addition to the pores from which exudes the watery fluid called
+perspiration, the skin is furnished with innumerable minute openings,
+known as the sebaceous follicles, which pour over its surface a thin
+limpid oil anointing it and rendering it soft and supple; but also
+causing the dust as well as the effete matter thrown out by the pores
+to adhere, and, if allowed to accumulate, finally obstructing its
+functions and causing disease. It also, especially in warm weather,
+emits an exceedingly disagreeable odor. Pure cold water will not
+wholly remove these oily accumulations. The occasional use of soap and
+warm or tepid water is therefore necessary; but all washings with
+soapy or warm water should be followed by a thorough rinsing with pure
+cold water. Use good, fine soap. The common coarser kinds are
+generally too strongly alkaline and have an unpleasant effect upon the
+skin.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
+<h4>3. <i>The Feet.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The feet are particularly liable to become offensively odoriferous,
+especially when the perspiration is profuse. Frequent washings with
+cold water, with the occasional use of warm water and soap, are
+absolutely necessary to cleanliness.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Change of Linen.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A frequent change of linen is another essential of cleanliness. It
+avails little to wash the body if we inclose it the next minute in
+soiled garments. It is not in the power of every one to wear fine and
+elegant clothes, but we can all, under ordinary circumstances, afford
+clean shirts, drawers, and stockings. Never sleep in any garment worn
+during the day; and your night-dress should be well aired every
+morning.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>The Nails.</i></h4>
+
+<p>You will not, of course, go into company, or sit down to the table,
+with soiled hands, but unless you habituate yourself to a special care
+of them, more or less dirt will be found lodged under the nails. Clean
+them carefully every time you wash your hands, and keep them smoothly
+and evenly cut. If you allow them to get too long they are liable to
+be broken off, and become uneven and ragged, and if you pare them too
+closely they fail to protect the ends of the fingers.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>The Head.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The head is more neglected, perhaps, than any other part of the body.
+The results are not less disastrous here than elsewhere. Dandruff
+forms, dust accumulates, the scalp becomes diseased, the hair grows
+dry, and falls off and if the evil be not remedied, premature baldness
+ensues.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> The head should be thoroughly washed as often as cleanliness
+demands. This will not injure the hair, as many suppose, but, on the
+contrary, will promote its growth and add to its beauty. If soap is
+used, however, it should be carefully rinsed off. If the hair is
+carefully and <i>thoroughly</i> brushed every morning, it will not require
+very frequent washings. If the scalp be kept in a healthy condition
+the hair will be moist, glossy, and luxuriant, and no oil or hair wash
+will be required; and these preparations generally do more harm than
+good. Night-caps are most unwholesome and uncleanly contrivances, and
+should be discarded altogether. They keep the head unnaturally warm,
+shut out the fresh air, and shut in those natural exhalations which
+should be allowed to pass off, and thus weaken the hair and render it
+more liable to fall off. Ladies may keep their hair properly together
+during repose by wearing a <i>net</i> over it.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>The Teeth.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Do not forget the teeth. Cleanliness, health, a pure breath, and the
+integrity and durability of those organs require that they be
+thoroughly and effectually scoured with the tooth-brush dipped in soft
+water, with the addition of a little soap, if necessary, every
+morning. Brush them outside and inside, and in every possible
+direction. You can not be too careful in this matter. After brushing
+rinse your mouth with cold water. A slighter brushing should be given
+them after each meal. Use an ivory tooth-pick or a quill to remove any
+particles of food that may be lodged between the teeth.</p>
+
+<p>There are, no doubt, original differences in teeth, as in other parts
+of the human system, some being more liable to decay than others; but
+the simple means we have pointed out, if adopted in season and
+perseveringly applied, will preserve almost any teeth, in all their
+usefulness<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> and reality, till old age. If yours have been neglected,
+and some of them are already decayed, hasten to preserve the
+remainder. While you have <i>any</i> teeth left, it is never too late to
+begin to take care of them; and if you have children, do not, we
+entreat you, neglect <i>their</i> teeth. If the first or temporary teeth
+are cared for and preserved, they will be mainly absorbed by the
+second or permanent ones, and will drop out of themselves. The others,
+in that case, will come out regular and even.</p>
+
+<p>Beware of the teeth-powders, teeth-washes, and the like, advertised in
+the papers. They are often even more destructive to the teeth than the
+substances they are intended to remove. If any teeth-powder is
+required, pure powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure;
+but if the teeth are kept clean, in the way we have directed, there
+will be little occasion for any other dentrifices than pure water and
+a little soap. Your tooth-brushes should be rather soft; those which
+are too hard injuring both the teeth and the gums.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>The Breath.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A bad breath arises more frequently than otherwise from neglected and
+decayed teeth. If it is occasioned by a foul stomach, a pure diet,
+bathing, water injections, and a general attention to the laws of
+health are required for its removal.</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;EATING AND DRINKING.</h3>
+
+<p>Whatever has a bearing upon health has at least an indirect connection
+with manners; the reader will therefore excuse us for introducing here
+a few remarks which may seem, at the first glance, rather irrelevant.
+Sound lungs, a healthy liver, and a good digestion are as essential to
+the right performance of our social duties as they are to our own
+personal comfort; therefore a few words on eating<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> and drinking, as
+affecting these, will not be out of place.</p>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>What to Eat.</i></h4>
+
+<p>An unperverted appetite is the highest authority in matters of diet.
+In fact, its decisions should be considered final, and without the
+privilege of appeal. Nature makes no mistakes.</p>
+
+<p>The plant selects from the soil which its roots permeate, the chemical
+elements necessary to its growth and perfect development, rejecting
+with unerring certainty every particle which would prove harmful or
+useless. The wild animal chooses with equal certainty the various
+kinds of food adapted to the wants of its nature, never poisoning
+itself by eating or drinking any thing inimical to its life and
+health. The sense of taste and the wants of the system act in perfect
+harmony. So it should be with man. That which most perfectly gratifies
+the appetite should be the best adapted to promote health, strength,
+and beauty.</p>
+
+<p>But appetite, like all the other instincts or feelings of our nature,
+is liable to become perverted, and to lead us astray. We acquire a
+relish for substances which are highly hurtful, such as tobacco,
+ardent spirits, malt liquors, and the like. We have "sought out many
+inventions," to pander to false and fatal tastes, and too often eat,
+not to sustain life and promote the harmonious development of the
+system, but to poison the very fountains of our being and implant in
+our blood the seeds of disease.</p>
+
+<p>Attend to the demands of appetite, but use all your judgment in
+determining whether it is a natural, undepraved craving of the system
+which speaks, or an acquired and vicious taste, and give or withhold
+accordingly; and, above all, never eat when you have <i>no appetite</i>.
+Want of appetite is equivalent to the most authoritative <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>command to
+<i>eat nothing</i>, and we disregard it at our peril. Food, no matter how
+wholesome, taken into our stomachs under such circumstances, instead
+of being digested and appropriated, becomes rank poison. <i>Eating
+without appetite is one of the most fatal of common errors.</i></p>
+
+<p>We have no room, even if we had the ability and the desire, to discuss
+the comparative merits of the two opposing systems of diet&mdash;the
+vegetarian and the mixed. We shall consider the question of
+flesh-eating an open one.</p>
+
+<p>Your food should be adapted to the climate, season, and your
+occupation. In the winter and in northern climates a larger proportion
+of the fatty or carboniferous elements are required than in summer and
+in southern latitudes. The Esquimaux, in his snow-built hut, swallows
+immense quantities of train-oil, without getting the dyspepsia; still,
+we do not recommend train-oil as an article of diet; neither can we
+indorse the eating of pork in any form; but these things are far less
+hurtful in winter than in summer, and to those who labor in the open
+air than to the sedentary.</p>
+
+<p>Live well. A generous diet promotes vitality and capability for
+action. "Good cheer is friendly to health." But do not confound a
+generous diet with what is usually called "rich" food. Let all your
+dishes be nutritious, but plain, simple, and wholesome. Avoid highly
+seasoned viands and very greasy food at all times, but particularly in
+warm weather, also too much nutriment in the highly condensed forms of
+sugar, syrup, honey, and the like.</p>
+
+<p>If you eat flesh, partake sparingly of it especially in summer. We
+Americans are the greatest flesh-eaters in the world, and it is not
+unreasonable to believe that there may be some connection between this
+fact and the equally notorious one that we are the most unhealthy
+people in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> the world. An untold amount of disease results from the too
+free use of flesh during the hot months. Heat promotes putrefaction;
+and as this change in meat is very rapid in warm weather, we can not
+be too careful not to eat that which is in the slightest degree
+tainted. Even when it goes into the stomach in a normal condition,
+there is danger; for if too much is eaten, or the digestive organs are
+not sufficiently strong and active, the process of putrefaction may
+commence in the stomach and diffuse a subtle poison through the whole
+system.</p>
+
+<p><i>Hot</i> biscuits; <i>hot</i> griddle cakes, saturated with butter and
+Stuart's syrup; and <i>hot</i> coffee, scarcely modified at all by the
+small quantity of milk usually added, are among the most deleterious
+articles ever put upon a table. While these continue to be the staples
+of our breakfasts, healthy stomachs and clear complexions will be rare
+among us. Never eat or drink <i>any thing</i> <span class="smcap">HOT</span>.</p>
+
+<p>Good bread is an unexceptionable article of diet. The best is made of
+unbolted wheat flour. A mixture of wheat and rye flour, or of corn
+meal with either, makes excellent bread. The meal and flour should be
+freshly ground; they deteriorate by being kept long. If raised or
+fermented bread is required, hop yeast is the best ferment that can be
+used. [For complete directions for bread-making, see Dr. Trall's
+"Hydropathic Cook-Book."]</p>
+
+<p>The exclusive use of fine or bolted flour for bread, biscuits, and
+cakes of all kinds, is exceedingly injurious to health. The <i>lignin</i>
+or woody fiber which forms the bran of grains is just as essential to
+a perfect and healthful nutrition as are starch, sugar, gum, and
+fibrin, and the rejection of this element is one of the most
+mischievous errors of modern cookery.</p>
+
+<p>Johnny-cake, or corn bread, is an excellent article, which is not yet
+fully appreciated. It is palatable and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> wholesome. Hominy, samp,
+cracked wheat, oatmeal mush, and boiled rice should have a high place
+on your list of edibles. Beans and peas should be more generally eaten
+than they are. They are exceedingly nutritious, and very palatable. In
+New England, "pork and beans" hold the place of honor, but elsewhere
+in this country they are almost unknown. Leaving out the pork (which,
+personally, we hold in more than Jewish abhorrence), nothing can be
+better, provided they are eaten in moderation and with a proper
+proportion of less nutritious food. They should be well baked in pure,
+soft water. A sufficient quantity of salt to season them, with the
+addition of a little sweet milk, cream, or butter while baking, leaves
+nothing to be desired. If meat is wanted, however, a slice of
+beefsteak, laid upon the surface, will serve a better purpose than
+pork. Potatoes, beets, turnips, carrots, parsneps, and cabbages are
+good in their place.</p>
+
+<p>But Nature indicates very plainly that fruits and berries, in their
+season, should have a prominent place in our dietary. They are
+produced in abundance, and every healthy stomach instinctively craves
+them. Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, whortleberries,
+cherries, plums, grapes, figs, apples, pears, peaches, and melons are
+"food fit for gods." We pity those whose perverted taste or digestion
+leads to their rejection. But some are <i>afraid</i>to eat fruits and
+berries, particularly in midsummer, just the time when nature and
+common sense say they should be eaten most freely. They have the fear
+of cholera, dysentery, and similar diseases before their eyes, and
+have adopted the popular but absurd idea that fruit eating predisposes
+to disorders of the stomach and bowels. Exactly the reverse is the
+fact. There are no better preventives of such diseases than <i>ripe</i>
+fruits and berries, eaten in proper quantities and at proper times<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>
+Unripe fruits should be scrupulously avoided, and that which is in any
+measure decayed as scarcely less objectionable. Fruit and berries
+should make a part of every meal in summer. In winter they are less
+necessary, but may be eaten with advantage, if within our reach; and
+they are easily preserved in various ways.</p>
+
+<p>We might write a volume on the subject of food, but these general
+hints must suffice. If you would pursue the inquiry, read O. S.
+Fowler's "Physiology, Animal and Mental," and the "Hydropathic
+Cook-Book," already referred to.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>When to Eat.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Eat when the stomach, through the instinct of appetite, demands a new
+supply of food. If all your habits are regular, this will be at about
+the same hours each day; and regularity in the time of taking our
+meals is very important. Want of attention to this point is a frequent
+cause of derangement of the digestive organs. We can not stop to
+discuss the question how many meals per day we should eat; but whether
+you eat one, two, or three, never, under ordinary circumstances, take
+lunches. The habit of eating between meals is a most pernicious one.
+Not even your children must be indulged in it, as you value their
+health, comfort, and good behavior.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>How Much to Eat.</i></h4>
+
+<p>We can not tell you, by weight or measure, how much to eat, the right
+quantity depending much upon age, sex, occupation, season, and
+climate, but the quantity is quite as important as the quality.
+Appetite would be a sure guide in both respects were it not so often
+perverted and diseased. As a general rule, we eat too much. It is
+better to err in the other direction. An uncomfortable feeling of
+fullness, or of dullness and stupor after a meal<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> is a sure sign of
+over-eating, so whatever and whenever you eat, <i>eat slowly, masticate
+your food well</i>, and <span class="smcap">DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH</span>.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Drink.</i></h4>
+
+<p>If we eat proper food, and in proper quantity, we are seldom thirsty.
+Inordinate thirst indicates a feverish state of either the stomach or
+the general system. It is pretty sure to follow a too hearty meal.</p>
+
+<p>Water is the proper drink for everybody and for every thing that lives
+or grows. It should be pure and soft. Many diseases arise wholly from
+the use of unwholesome water. If you drink tea (which we do not
+recommend), let it be the best of black tea, and <i>not</i> strong. Coffee,
+if drunk at all, should be diluted with twice its quantity of boiled
+milk, and well sweetened with white sugar.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;BREATHING.</h3>
+
+<p>Breathing is as necessary as eating. If we cease to breathe, our
+bodies cease to live. If we only <i>half</i> breathe, as is often the case,
+we only half live. The human system requires a constant supply of
+oxygen to keep up the vital processes which closely resemble
+combustion, of which oxygen is the prime supporter. If the supply is
+insufficient, the fire of life wanes. The healthy condition of the
+lungs also requires that they be completely expanded by the air
+inhaled. The imperfect breathing of many persons fails to accomplish
+the required inflation, and the lungs become diseased for want of
+their natural action. Full, deep breathing and pure air are as
+essential to health, happiness, and the right performance of our
+duties, whether individual, political, or social, as pure food and
+temperate habits of eating and drinking are. Attend, then, to the
+lungs as well as the stomach. Breathe good air. Have all your rooms,
+and especially your sleeping apartment<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> well ventilated. The air which
+has been vitiated by breathing or by the action of fire, which
+abstracts the oxygen and supplies its place with carbonic acid gas, is
+a <i>subtle poison</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;EXERCISE.</h3>
+
+<p>The amount of physical exercise required varies with age, sex, and
+temperament; but no person can enjoy vigorous health without a
+considerable degree of active bodily exertion. Four or five hours per
+day spent in the open air, in some labor or amusement which calls for
+the exercise of the muscles of the body, is probably no more than a
+proper average. We can live with less&mdash;that is, for a short time; but
+Nature's laws are inexorable, and we can not escape the penalty
+affixed to their violation. Those whose occupations are sedentary
+should seek amusements which require the exertion of the physical
+powers, and should spend as much as possible of their leisure time in
+the open air. We must, however, use good judgment in this matter as
+well as in eating. Too much exercise at once, or that which is fitful
+and violent, is often exceedingly injurious to those whose occupations
+have accustomed them to little physical exertion of any kind.</p>
+
+<p>The women of our country are suffering incalculably for want of proper
+exercise. No other single cause perhaps is doing so much to destroy
+health and beauty, and deteriorate the race, as this. "Your women are
+very handsome," Frederika Bremer said, one day, "but they are too
+white; they look as if they grew in the shade." A sad truth. Ladies,
+if you would be healthy, beautiful, and attractive&mdash;if you would fit
+yourselves to be good wives, and the mothers of strong and noble men,
+you <i>must</i> take an adequate amount of exercise in the open air. <i>This
+should be an every-day duty.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+<h3>VI.&mdash;THE COMPLEXION.</h3>
+
+<p>Every person, and especially every lady, desires a clear complexion.
+To secure this, follow the foregoing directions in reference to
+cleanliness, eating, drinking, breathing, and exercise. The same
+recipe serves for ruby lips and rosy cheeks. These come and go with
+health, and health depends upon obedience to the laws of our
+constitution.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VII.&mdash;GENERAL HINTS.</h3>
+
+<p>Few of us are free from disagreeable habits of which we are hardly
+conscious, so seemingly natural have they become to us. It is the
+office of friendship, though not always a pleasant one, to point them
+out. It is our business to assume that office here, finding our excuse
+in the necessity of the case. Our bad habits not only injure
+ourselves, but they give offense to others, and indirectly injure them
+also.</p>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>Tobacco.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Ladies, in this country, do not use tobacco, so they may skip this
+section. A large and increasing number of gentlemen may do the same;
+but if you use tobacco, in any forth, allow us to whisper a useful
+hint or two in your ear.</p>
+
+<p>Smoking, snuff-taking, and especially chewing, are bad habits at best,
+and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refined
+people, and especially to ladies. You have the same right to smoke,
+take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a
+filthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in either
+case, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people
+by their exhibition in society. Smoke if you will, chew, take snuff
+(against our earnest advice, however), make yourself generally and
+particularly disagreeable, but you must suffer the consequences&mdash;the
+social outlawry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> which must result. Shall we convert our parlors into
+tobacco shops, risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from the
+random shots of your disgusting saliva, and fill the whole atmosphere
+of our house with a pungent stench, to the discomfort and disgust of
+everybody else, merely for the pleasure of your company? We have
+rights as well as you, one of which is to exclude from our circle all
+persons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us. You talk of
+rights. You can not blame others for exercising theirs.</p>
+
+<p>There are degrees here as everywhere else. One may chew a <i>little</i>,
+smoke an <i>occasional</i> cigar, and take a pinch of snuff <i>now</i> and
+<i>then</i>, and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence of
+others, and is very careful to purify his person before going into
+company, he may confine the bad effects, which he can not escape,
+<i>mostly</i> to his own person. But he must not smoke in any parlor, or
+sitting-room, or dining-room, or sleeping chamber, or in the street,
+and particularly not in the presence of ladies, <i>anywhere</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Spitting.</i></h4>
+
+<p>"The use of tobacco has made us a nation of spitters," as some one has
+truly remarked. Spitting is a private act, and tobacco users are not
+alone in violating good taste and good manners by hawking and spitting
+in company. You should never be seen to spit. Use your handkerchief
+carefully and so as not to be noticed, or, in case of necessity, leave
+the room.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Gin and Gentility.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The spirit and tenor of our remarks on tobacco will apply to the use
+of ardent spirits. The fumes of gin, whisky, and rum are, if possible,
+worse than the scent of tobacco. They must on no account be brought
+into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> company. If a man (this is another section which women may skip)
+will make a beast of himself, and fill his blood with liquid poison,
+he must, if he desires admission into good company, do it either
+privately or with companions whose senses and appetites are as
+depraved as his own.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Onions, etc.</i></h4>
+
+<p>All foods or drinks which taint the breath or cause disagreeable
+eructations should be avoided by persons going into company. Onions
+emit so very disagreeable an odor that no truly polite person will eat
+them when liable to inflict their fumes upon others. Particular care
+should be taken to guard against a bad breath from <i>any</i> cause.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Several Items.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or
+perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. All
+these things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your
+own room. To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the head or any
+part of the person in company is still worse. Watch yourself
+carefully, and if you have any such habits, break them up at once.
+These may seem little things, but they have their weight, and go far
+in determining the character of the impression we make upon those
+around us.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II.</h2>
+
+<h2>DRESS.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem medium"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="ichap">From little matters let us pass to less,<br /></span>
+<span class="ichap">And lightly touch the mysteries of dress;<br /></span>
+<span class="ichap">The outward forms the inner man reveal;<br /></span>
+<span class="ichap">We guess the pulp before we eat the peel.&mdash;<i>O. W. Holmes.</i><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;THE LANGUAGE OF DRESS.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 78px;">
+<img src="images/imgd.jpg" width="78" height="173" alt="D" title="" />
+</div><p>ress has its language, which is, or may be, read and understood by
+all. It is one of the forms in which we naturally give expression to
+our tastes, our constructive faculties, our reason, our feelings, our
+habits&mdash;in a word, to our character, as a whole. This expression is
+often greatly modified by the arbitrary laws of Fashion, and by
+circumstances of time, place, and condition, which we can not wholly
+control; but can hardly be entirely falsified. Even that arch tyrant,
+the reigning <i>Mode</i>, whatever it may be, leaves us little room for
+choice in materials, forms, and colors, and the choice we make
+indicates our prominent traits of character.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;THE USES OF DRESS.</h3>
+
+<p>"Dress," that admirable Art Journal the <i>Crayon</i> says, "has two
+functions&mdash;to clothe and to ornament; and while we can not lose sight
+of either point, we must not attribute to the one a power which
+belongs to the other. The essential requirement of dress is to cover
+and make comfortable the body, and of two forms of dress which fulfill
+this function equally well, that is the better which is most accordant
+with the laws of beauty. But fitness must <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span>in nowise be interfered
+with; and the garb which infringes on this law gives us pain rather
+than pleasure. We believe that it will be found that fitness and
+beauty, so far from requiring any sacrifice for combination, are found
+each in the highest degree where both are most fully obtained&mdash;that
+the fittest, most comfortable dress is that which is most graceful or
+becoming. Fitness is the primary demand; and <i>the dress that appears
+uncomfortable is untasteful</i>.</p>
+
+<p>"But in the secondary function of dress, ornamentation, there are
+several diverse objects to be attained&mdash;dignity, grace, vivacity,
+brilliancy, are qualities distinguishing different individuals, and
+indicating the impression they wish to make on society, and are
+expressed by different combinations of the elements of beauty, line,
+or form, and color. When the appareling of the outer being is in most
+complete harmony with the mental constitution, the taste is fullest."</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;THE ART OF DRESS.</h3>
+
+<p>True art adapts dress to its uses, as indicated in the foregoing
+extract. It is based on universal principles fundamental to all art.</p>
+
+<p>The art-writer already quoted says, very truly, that "Dress is always
+to be considered as secondary to the person." This is a fundamental
+maxim in the art of costume, but is often lost sight of, and dress
+made <i>obtrusive</i> at the expense of the individuality of the wearer. A
+man's vest or cravat must not seem a too important part of him. Dress
+may heighten beauty, but it can not create it. If you are not better
+and more beautiful than your clothes you are, indeed, a man or a woman
+of straw.</p>
+
+<p>The next principle to be regarded is the <i>fitness</i> of your costume, in
+its forms materials, and colors, to your person and circumstances, and
+to the conditions of the time, place and occasion on which it is to be
+worn. Fashion<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> often compels us to violate this principle, and dress
+in the most absurd, incongruous, unbecoming, and uncomfortable style.
+A little more self-respect and independence, however, would enable us
+to resist many of her most preposterous enactments. But Fashion is not
+responsible for all the incongruities in dress with which we meet.
+They are often the result of bad taste and affectation.</p>
+
+<p>The first demand of this law of fitness is, that your costume shall
+accord with your person. The young and the old, we all instinctively
+know, should not dress alike. Neither should the tall and the short,
+the dark and the light, the pale and the rosy, the grave and the gay,
+the tranquil and the vivacious. Each variety of form, color, and
+character has its appropriate style; but our space here is too limited
+to allow us to do more than drop a hint toward what each requires, to
+produce the most harmonious and effective combination. In another
+work,<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> now in the course of preparation, this important subject will
+be treated in detail.</p>
+
+<p>"In form, simplicity and long, unbroken lines give dignity, while
+complicated and short lines express vivacity. Curves, particularly if
+long and sweeping, give grace while straight lines and angles indicate
+power and strength. In color, unity of tint gives repose&mdash;if somber,
+gravity but if light and clear, then a joyous serenity&mdash;variety of
+tint giving vivacity, and if contrasted, brilliancy."</p>
+
+<p>Longitudinal stripes in a lady's dress make her appear taller than she
+really is, and are therefore appropriate for persons of short stature.
+Tall women, for this reason, should never wear them. Flounces are
+becoming to tall persons, but not to short ones. The colors worn
+should be determined by the complexion, and should harmonize <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span>with it.
+"Ladies with delicate rosy complexions bear white and blue better than
+dark colors, while sallow hues of complexion will not bear these
+colors near them, and require dark, quiet, or grave colors to improve
+their appearance. Yellow is the most trying and dangerous of all, and
+can only be worn by the rich-toned, healthy-looking brunette."</p>
+
+<p>In the second place, there should be harmony between your dress and
+your circumstances. It should accord with your means, your house, your
+furniture, the place in which you reside, and the society in which you
+move.</p>
+
+<p>Thirdly, your costume should be suited to the time, place, and
+occasion on which it is to be worn. That summer clothes should not be
+worn in winter, or winter clothes in summer, every one sees clearly
+enough. The law of fitness as imperatively demands that you should
+have one dress for the kitchen, the field, or the workshop, and
+another, and quite a different one, for the parlor; one for the street
+and another for the carriage, one for a ride on horseback and another
+for a ramble in the country. Long, flowing, and even trailing skirts
+are beautiful and appropriate in the parlor, but in the muddy streets,
+draggling in the filth, and embarrassing every movement of the wearer,
+or in the country among the bushes and briers, they lose all their
+beauty and grace, because no longer fitting. The prettiest costume we
+have ever seen for a shopping excursion or a walk in the city, and
+especially for a ramble in the country, is a short dress or frock
+reaching to the knee, and trowsers of the common pantaloon form, but
+somewhat wider. Full Turkish trowsers might be worn with this dress,
+but are less convenient. The waist or body of the dress is made with a
+yoke and belt, and pretty full. The sleeves should be gathered into a
+band and buttoned at the wrist. A <i>saque</i> or a <i>basque</i> of a different
+color from the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> waist has a fine effect as a part of this costume. Add
+to it a gipsy hat and good substantial shoes or boots, and you may
+walk with ease, grace, and pleasure. This was the working and walking
+costume of the women of the North American Phalanx, and is still worn
+on the domain which once belonged to that Association, though the
+institution which gave it its origin has ceased to exist. If you
+reside in a place where you can adopt this as your industrial and
+walking costume, without too much notoriety and odium, try it. You
+must judge of this for yourself. We are telling you what is fitting,
+comfortable, and healthful, and therefore, in its place, beautiful,
+and not what it is expedient for you to wear. The time is coming when
+such a costume may be worn anywhere. Rational independence, good
+taste, and the study of art are preparing the way for the complete
+overthrow of arbitrary fashion. Help us to hasten the time when both
+women and men shall be permitted to dress as the eternal principles,
+harmony, and beauty dictate, and be no longer the slaves of the tailor
+and the dressmaker.</p>
+
+<p>But without adopting any innovations liable to shock staid
+conservatism or puritanic prudery, you may still, in a good measure,
+avoid the incongruities which we are now compelled to witness, and
+make your costume accord with place and occupation.</p>
+
+<p>In the field, garden, and workshop, gentlemen can wear nothing more
+comfortable and graceful than the blouse. It may be worn loose or
+confined by a belt. If your occupation is a very dusty one, wear
+overalls. In the counting-room and office, gentlemen wear frock-coats
+or sack coats. They need not be of very fine material, and should not
+be of any garish pattern. In your study or library, and about the
+house generally, on ordinary occasions, a handsome dressing-gown is
+comfortable and elegant.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p>
+<p>A lady, while performing the morning duties of her household may wear
+a plain loose dress, made high in the neck, and with long sleeves
+fastened at the wrist. It must not look slatternly, and may be
+exceedingly beautiful and becoming.</p>
+
+<p>In reference to ornament, "the law of dress," to quote our
+artist-friend again, "is, that where you want the eye of a spectator
+to rest (for we all dress for show), you should concentrate your
+decoration, leaving the parts of the apparel to which you do not want
+attention called, as plain and negative as possible&mdash;not ugly, as some
+people, in an affectation of plainness, do (for you have no right to
+offend the eye of your fellow-man with any thing which is ugly), but
+simply negative."</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;MATERIALS, ETC.</h3>
+
+<p>The materials of which your clothes are made should be the best that
+your means will allow. One generally exercises a very bad economy and
+worse taste in wearing low-priced and coarse materials. For your
+working costume, the materials should of course correspond with the
+usage to which they are to be subjected. They should be strong and
+durable, but need not therefore be either very coarse or at all ugly.
+As a general rule, it costs no more to dress well than ill.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman's shirts should always be fine, clean, and well-fitted. It
+is better to wear a coarse or threadbare coat than a disreputable
+shirt. The better taste and finer instincts of the ladies will require
+no hint in reference to their "most intimate appareling." True taste,
+delicacy, and refinement regards the under clothing as scrupulously as
+that which is exposed to view.</p>
+
+<p>The coverings of the head and the feet are important and should by no
+means be inferior to the rest of your apparel. Shoes are better than
+boots, except in cases where the latter<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> are required for the
+protection of the feet and ankles against water, snow, or injury from
+briers, brambles, and the like. Ladies' shoes for walking should be
+substantial enough to keep the feet dry and warm. If neatly made, and
+well-fitting, they need not be clumsy. Thin shoes, worn on the damp
+ground or pavement, have carried many a beautiful woman to her grave.
+If you wish to have corns and unshapely feet, wear tight shoes; they
+never fail to produce those results.</p>
+
+<p>The fashionable fur hat, in its innumerable but always ugly forms, is,
+in the eye of taste, an absurd and unsightly covering for the head;
+and it is hardly less uncomfortable and unhealthful than ugly. The
+fine, soft, and more picturesque felt hats now, we are glad to say,
+coming more and more into vogue, are far more comfortable and
+healthful. A light, fine straw hat is the best for summer.</p>
+
+<p>The bonnets of the ladies, in their fashionable forms, are only a
+little less ugly and unbecoming than the fur hats of the gentlemen. A
+broad-brimmed or gipsy hat is far more becoming to most women than the
+common bonnet. We hope to live to see both "stove-pipe hats" and
+"sugar-scoop bonnets" abolished; but, in the mean time let those wear
+them who <i>must</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;MRS. MANNERS ON DRESS.</h3>
+
+<p>Mrs. Manners, the highest authority we can possibly quote in such
+matters, has the following hints to girls, which we can not deny
+ourselves the pleasure of copying, though they may seem, in part, a
+repetition of remarks already made:</p>
+
+<p>"Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness,
+is <i>all</i> that is <i>necessary</i>&mdash;that is the fabled cestus of Venus which
+gave beauty to its wearer. Good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> taste involves <i>suitable fabrics&mdash;a
+neat and becoming 'fitting' to her figure&mdash;colors suited to her
+complexion, and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one's
+clothes</i>. A worsted dress in a warm day, or a white one in a cold day,
+or a light, thin one in a windy day, are all in <i>bad</i> taste. Very fine
+or very delicate dresses worn in the street, or very highly ornamented
+clothes worn to church or to shop in, are in <i>bad</i> taste. Very long
+dresses worn in muddy or dusty weather, even if long dresses are the
+<i>fashion</i>, are still in <i>bad</i> taste.</p>
+
+<p>"Deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste; very few
+persons are careful enough in selecting gloves. Light shoes and dark
+dresses, white stockings and dark dresses, dark stockings and light
+dresses, are not indicative of good taste. A girl with neatly and
+properly dressed feet, with neat, well-fitting gloves, smoothly
+arranged hair, and a clean, well-made dress, who walks well, and
+speaks well, and, above all, acts politely and kindly, <i>is a lady</i>,
+and no <i>wealth</i> is required here. Fine clothes and fine airs are
+abashed before such propriety and good taste. Thus the poorest may be
+so attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest; nothing is
+more <i>vulgar</i> than the idea that money makes a lady, or that fine
+clothes can do it."</p>
+
+
+<h3>VI.&mdash;WEARING THE HAIR AND BEARD.</h3>
+
+<p>The hair and beard, in one of their aspects, belong to the dress. In
+reference to the style of wearing them, consult the general principles
+of taste. A man to whom nature has given a handsome beard, deforms
+himself sadly by shaving&mdash;at least, that is our opinion; and on this
+point fashion and good taste agree. The full beard is now more common
+than the shaven face in all our large cities.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p>
+<p>In the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a great
+deal of taste and judgment. The style should vary with the different
+forms of face. Lardner's "Young Ladies' Manual" has the following
+hints to the gentler sex. Gentlemen can modify them to suit their
+case:</p>
+
+<p>"After a few experiments, a lady may very easily decide what mode of
+dressing her hair, and what head-dress renders her face most
+attractive.</p>
+
+<p>"Ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one. On the
+other hand, the fashion of putting the hair smoothly, and drawing it
+back on either side, is becoming to few; it has a look of vanity
+instead of simplicity: the face must do every thing for it, which is
+asking too much, especially as hair, in its pure state, is the
+ornament intended for it by nature. Hair is to the human aspect what
+foliage is to the landscape.</p>
+
+<p>"Light hair is generally most becoming when curled. For a round face,
+the curls should be made in short, half ringlets, reaching a little
+below the ears. For an oval face, long and thick ringlets are
+suitable; but if the face be thin and sharp, the ringlets should be
+light, and not too long, nor too many in number.</p>
+
+<p>"When dark hair is curled, the ringlets should never fall in heavy
+masses upon the shoulders. Open braids are very beautiful when made of
+dark hair; they are also becoming to light-haired persons. A simple
+and graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locks
+behind the ears, permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringlets
+on either side behind.</p>
+
+<p>"Another beautiful mode of dressing the hair, and one very appropriate
+in damp weather, when it will keep in curl, is to loop up the ringlets
+with small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears,
+and pass a light band of braided hair over them.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p>
+<p>"Persons with very long, narrow heads may wear the hair knotted very
+low at the back of the neck. If the head be long, but not very narrow,
+the back hair may be drawn to one side, braided in a thick braid, and
+wound around the head. When the head is round, the hair should be
+formed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head. If the braid
+be made to resemble a basket, and a few curls permitted to fall from
+within it, the shape of the head is much improved."</p>
+
+
+<h3>VII.&mdash;ART <i>VS.</i> FASHION.</h3>
+
+<p>Observe that we have been laying down some of the maxims deduced from
+the principles of art and taste, in their application to dress, and
+not promulgating the edicts of Fashion. If there is a lack of harmony
+on some points, between the two, it is not our fault. We have
+endeavored to give you some useful hints in reference to the beautiful
+and the fitting in costume, based on a higher law than the enactments
+of the fashion-makers. You must judge for yourself how far you can
+make the latter bend to the former. We have been talking of dress as
+an individual matter. In future chapters we shall have occasion to
+refer to it in its relation to the usages of society.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VIII.&mdash;SIGNS OF "THE GOOD TIME COMING."</h3>
+
+<p>N. P. Willis, in the <i>Home Journal</i>, writing on the dress-reform
+agitation, thus closes his disquisition:</p>
+
+<p>"We repeat, that we see signs which look to us as if the present
+excitement as to <i>one</i> fashion were turning into a universal inquiry
+as to the sense or propriety of <i>any fashion at all</i>. When the subject
+shall have been fully discussed, and public attention fully awakened,
+common sense will probably take the direction of the matter, and
+opinion will settle in some shape which, at least, may<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> reject former
+excesses and absurdities. Some moderate similarity of dress is
+doubtless necessary, and there are proper times and places for long
+dresses and short dresses. These and other points the ladies are
+likely to come to new decisions about. While they consult health,
+cleanliness, and convenience, however, we venture to express a hope
+that they will <i>get rid of the present slavish uniformity</i>&mdash;that what
+is becoming to each may be worn without fear of unfashionableness, and
+that in this way we may see every woman dressed somewhat differently
+and to her own best advantage, and the <i>proportion of beauty largely
+increased</i>, as it would, thereby, most assuredly be."</p>
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTE:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> "Hints toward Physical Perfection; or, How to Acquire and
+Retain Beauty, Grace, and Strength, and Secure Long Life and Perpetual
+Youth."</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III.</h2>
+
+<h2>SELF-CULTURE</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>There is no man who can so easily and so naturally become in
+all points a Gentleman Knight, without fear and without
+reproach, as a true American Republican.&mdash;<i>James Parton.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;MORAL AND SOCIAL TRAINING.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 79px;">
+<img src="images/imgh.jpg" width="79" height="171" alt="H" title="" />
+</div><p>aving given due attention to your personal habits and dress, consider
+what special errors still remain to be corrected, or what deficiencies
+to be supplied, and carefully and perseveringly apply yourself to the
+required self-training.</p>
+
+<p>If you are sensible of an inadequate development of any of those
+faculties or feelings on which good manners are based, set yourself at
+once about the work of cultivation, remembering that the legitimate
+exercise of any organ or function necessarily tends to its
+development. Look first to conscientiousness. It is hardly possible
+for you to acquire genuine good manners without an acute sense of
+equity. Accustom yourself to a sacred regard for the rights of others,
+even in the minutest matters, and in the most familiar intercourse of
+the family or social circle. In a similar manner cultivate
+Benevolence, Veneration, Adhesiveness, Agreeableness, Ideality, and
+the moral, social, and esthetic faculties in general. Go out of your
+way, if necessary, to perform acts of kindness and friendship; never
+omit the "thank you" which is due for the slightest possible favor,
+whether rendered by the highest or the lowest; be always bland and
+genial; respect times, places, observances, and especially persons;
+and put yourself in the way of all <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>possible elevating and refining
+influences. Manners have their origin in the mind and the heart.
+Manners do not make the man, as is sometimes asserted; but the man
+makes the manners. It is true, however, that the manners react upon
+mind and heart, continually developing and improving the qualities out
+of which they spring.</p>
+
+<p>You are placed in a particular community, or you are invited or wish
+to gain admittance into a certain circle. Different communities and
+circles require, to some extent, different qualifications. Ascertain
+what you lack and acquire it as speedily as possible; but remember
+that good sense and good nature are out of place in no company.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;LANGUAGE.</h3>
+
+<p>Conversation plays an important part in the intercourse of society. It
+is a great and valuable accomplishment to be able to talk well.
+Cultivate language and the voice. Learn to express yourself with
+correctness, ease, and elegance. This subject is worthy of all the
+time and study you can give to it. "How to Talk: a Pocket Manual of
+Conversation and Debate," which forms one of this series of
+"Hand-Books for Home Improvement," will give you all necessary aid in
+this department.</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;POSITION AND MOVEMENT.</h3>
+
+<p>Study also the graces of manner, motion, and position. Grace is
+natural, no doubt, but most of us have nearly lost sight of nature. It
+is often with the greatest difficulty that we find our way back to her
+paths. It seems a simple and easy thing to walk, and a still easier
+and simpler thing to stand or sit, but not one in twenty perform
+either of these acts with ease and grace. There are a hundred little
+things connected with attitude, movement, the carriage of the arms,
+the position of the feet and the like,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> which, though seemingly
+unimportant are really essential to elegance and ease. Never despise
+these little things, or be ashamed to acquire the smallest grace by
+study and practice.</p>
+
+<p>You desire to be a person of "good standing" in society. How <i>do</i> you
+stand? We refer now to the artistic or esthetic point of view. If you
+are awkward, you are more likely to manifest your awkwardness in
+standing than in walking. Do you know where to put your feet and what
+to do with your hands? In the absence of any better rule or example,
+try to forget your limbs, and let them take care of themselves. But
+observe the attitudes which sculptors give to their statues; and study
+also those of children, which are almost always graceful, because
+natural. Avoid, on the one hand, the stiffness of the soldier, and, on
+the other, the ape-like suppleness of the dancing-master; and let
+there be no straining, no fidgeting, no uneasy shifting of position.
+You should stand on <i>both</i> feet, bearing a little more heavily on one
+than the other. The same general principles apply to the sitting
+posture. This may be either graceful, dignified, and elegant, or
+awkward, abject, and uncouth. The latter class of qualities may be got
+rid of and the former acquired, and depend upon it, it is a matter of
+some consequence which of them characterizes your position and
+movements. Walking is not so difficult an accomplishment as standing
+and sitting, but should receive due attention. It has a very close
+connection with character, and either of them may be improved or
+deteriorated through the other. A close observer and a sensible and
+trustworthy monitor of their own sex thus enumerates some of the
+common faults of women in their "carriage," or manner of walking:</p>
+
+<p>"Slovenliness in walking characterizes some. They go shuffling along,
+precisely as if their shoes were down<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> at the heel&mdash;"slipshod"&mdash;and
+they could not lift up their feet in consequence. If it is dusty or
+sandy, they kick up the dust before them and fill their skirts with
+it. This is exceedingly ungraceful. If I were a gentleman, I really do
+not think I could marry a lady who walked like this; she would appear
+so very undignified, and I could not be proud of her.</p>
+
+<p>"Some have another awkwardness. They lift up their feet so high that
+their knees are sent out before them showing the movement through the
+dress. They always seem to be leaving their skirts behind them,
+instead of carrying them gracefully about them. Some saunter along so
+loosely they seem to be hung on wires; others are as stiff as if they
+supposed only straight lines were agreeable to the eye; and others,
+again, run the chin forward considerably in advance of the breast,
+looking very silly and deficient in self-respect.</p>
+
+<p>"Sometimes a lady walks so as to turn up her dress behind every time
+she puts her foot back, and I have seen a well-dressed woman made to
+look very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing her
+elbows too far behind her. Some hold their hands up to the waist, and
+press their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were glued
+there; others swing them backward and forward, as a business man walks
+along the street. <i>Too short</i> steps detract from dignity very much,
+forming a mincing pace; too long steps are masculine.</p>
+
+<p>"Some walk upon the ball of the foot very flatly and clumsily; others
+come down upon the heel as though a young elephant was moving; and
+others, again, ruin their shoes and their appearance by walking upon
+the side of the foot. Many practice a stoop called the Grecian bend,
+and when they are thirty, will pass well, unless the face be seen, for
+fifty years' old."</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p>
+<p>Gymnastics, dancing, and the military drill are excellent auxiliaries
+in the work of physical training, though all of them may be, and
+constantly are, abused. We can not illustrate their application here.
+They will receive the attention they deserve in "Hints toward Physical
+Perfection," already referred to as in preparation.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;SELF-COMMAND.</h3>
+
+<p>Without perfect self-control you are constantly liable to do something
+amiss, and your other social qualifications will avail little. You
+must not only be fully conscious who you are, what you are, where you
+are, and what you are about, but you must also have an easy and
+complete control of all your words and actions, and feel <i>at home</i>
+wherever you are. You are liable to lose this self-command either
+through bashfulness or excitement. The former is one of the greatest
+obstacles with which a majority of young people have to contend. It
+can be overcome by <i>resolute effort</i> and the cultivation of
+self-respect and self-reliance. Do not allow it to keep you out of
+society. You will not conquer it by such a course. You might as
+reasonably expect to learn to swim without going into the water.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;OBSERVATION.</h3>
+
+<p>One of the best means of improvement in manners is observation. In
+company, where you are in doubt in reference to any rule or form, be
+quiet and observe what others do, and govern your conduct by theirs;
+but except in mere external forms, beware of a servile imitation. Seek
+to understand the principles which underlie the observances you
+witness, and to become imbued with the spirit of the society (if good)
+in which you move, rather than to copy particulars in the manners of
+any one.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p>
+<h3>VI.&mdash;PRACTICAL LESSONS.</h3>
+
+<p>But the most important instrumentality for the promotion of the
+externals of good manners is constant practice in the actual every-day
+intercourse of society; and without this our instructions and your
+study will both be thrown away. Begin now, to-day, with the next
+person you meet or address.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV.</h2>
+
+<h2>FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>Courtesy is the beautiful part of morality, justice carried to
+the utmost, rectitude refined, magnanimity in trifles.&mdash;<i>Life
+Illustrated.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;MANNERS AND MORALS.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 76px;">
+<img src="images/imgg.jpg" width="76" height="166" alt="G" title="" />
+</div><p>ood manners and good morals are founded on the same eternal
+principles of right, and are only different expressions of the same
+great truths. Both grow out of the necessities of our existence and
+relations. We have individual rights based on the fact of our
+individual being; and we have social duties resulting from our
+connection, in the bonds of society, with other individuals who have
+similar rights. Morals and manners alike, while they justify us in
+asserting and maintaining our own rights, require us scrupulously to
+respect, in word and act, the rights of others. It is true that the
+former, in the common comprehension of the term, is satisfied with
+simple justice in all our relations, while the latter often requires
+something more than the strictest conscientiousness can demand&mdash;a
+yielding of more than half the road&mdash;an exercise of the sentiment of
+benevolence, as well as of equity; but the highest morality really
+makes the same requisition, for it includes politeness, and recognizes
+deeds of kindness as a duty.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;RIGHTS.</h3>
+
+<p>In this country we need no incitements to the assertion and
+maintenance of our rights, whether individual or <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>national. We are
+ready at all times to do battle for them either with the tongue, the
+pen, or the sword, as the case may require. Even women have discovered
+that <i>they</i> have rights, and he must be a bold man indeed who dares
+call them in question. Yes, we all, men, women, and children, have
+rights, and are forward enough in claiming then. Are we equally ready
+to respect the rights of others?</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;DUTIES.</h3>
+
+<p>Out of rights grow duties; the first of which is to live an honest,
+truthful, self-loyal life, acting and speaking always and everywhere
+in accordance with the laws of our being, as revealed in our own
+physical and mental organization. It is by the light of this fact that
+we must look upon all social requirements, whether in dress, manners,
+or morals. All that is fundamental and genuine in these will be found
+to harmonize with universal principles, and consequently with our
+primary duty in reference to ourselves.</p>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>The Senses.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Whenever and wherever we come in contact with our fellow-men, there
+arises a question of rights, and consequently of duties. We have
+alluded incidentally to some of them, in speaking of habits and dress.
+The senses of each individual have their rights, and it is your duty
+to respect them. The eye has a claim upon you for so much of beauty in
+form, color, arrangement, position, and movement as you are able to
+present to it. A French author has written a book, the aim of which is
+to show that it is the duty of a pretty woman to look pretty. It is
+the duty of <i>all</i> women, and all men too, to look and behave just as
+well as they can, and whoever fails in this, fails in good manners and
+in duty. The ear demands agreeable tones and harmonious combinations
+of tones<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>&mdash;pleasant words and sweet songs. If you indulge in loud
+talking, in boisterous and untimely laughter, or in profane or vulgar
+language, or sing out of tune, you violate its rights and offend good
+manners. The sense of smell requires pleasant odors for its enjoyment.
+Fragrance is its proper element. To bring the fetid odor of unwashed
+feet or filthy garments, or the stench of bad tobacco or worse whisky,
+or the offensive scent of onions or garlics within its sphere, is an
+act of impoliteness. The sense of taste asks for agreeable flavors,
+and has a right to the best we can give in the way of palatable foods
+and drinks. The sense of feeling, though less cultivated and not so
+sensitive as the others, has its rights too, and is offended by too
+great coarseness, roughness, and hardness. It has a claim on us for a
+higher culture.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>The Faculties.</i></h4>
+
+<p>And if the senses have their rights, we must admit that the higher
+faculties and feelings of our nature are at least equally dowered in
+this respect. You can not trespass upon one of them without a
+violation of good manners. We can not go into a complete exposition of
+the "bill of rights" of each. You can analyze them for yourself, and
+learn the nature of their claims upon you. In the mean time, we will
+touch upon a point or two here and there.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Opinions.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Each person has a right to his or her opinions, and to the expression
+of them <i>on proper occasions</i>, and there is no duty more binding upon
+us all than the most complete and respectful toleration. The author of
+"The Illustrated Manners Book" truly says:</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Every denial of, or interference with, the personal freedom or
+absolute rights of another, is a violation of</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>
+<i>good manners.</i> He who
+presumes to censure me for my religious belief, or want of belief; who
+makes it a matter of criticism or reproach that I am a Theist or
+Atheist, Trinitarian or Unitarian, Catholic or Protestant, Pagan or
+Christian, Jew, Mohammedan, or Mormon, is guilty of rudeness and
+insult. If any of these modes of belief make me intolerant or
+intrusive, he may resent such intolerance or repel such intrusion; but
+the basis of all true politeness and social enjoyment is the mutual
+tolerance of personal rights."</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>The Sacredness of Privacy.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Here is another passage from the author just quoted which is so much
+to the point that we can not forbear to copy it:</p>
+
+<p>"One of the rights most commonly trespassed upon constituting a
+violent breach of good manners, is the right of privacy, or of the
+control of one's own person and affairs. There are places in this
+country where there exists scarcely the slightest recognition of this
+right. A man or woman bolts into your house without knocking. No room
+is sacred unless you lock the door, and an exclusion would be an
+insult. Parents intrude upon children, and children upon parents. The
+husband thinks he has a right to enter his wife's room, and the wife
+would feel injured if excluded, by night or day, from her husband's.
+It is said that they even open each other's letters, and claim, as a
+right, that neither should have any secrets from the other.</p>
+
+<p>"It in difficult to conceive of such a state of intense barbarism in a
+civilized country, such a denial of the simplest and most primitive
+rights, such an utter absence of delicacy and good manners; and had we
+not been assured on good authority that such things existed, we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>
+should consider any suggestions respecting them needless and
+impertinent.</p>
+
+<p>"Each person in a dwelling should, if possible, have a room as sacred
+from intrusion as the house is to the family. No child, grown to years
+of discretion, should be outraged by intrusion. No relation, however
+intimate, can justify it. So the trunks, boxes, packets, papers, and
+letters of every individual, locked or unlocked, sealed or unsealed,
+are sacred. It is ill manners even to open a book-case, or to read a
+written paper lying open, without permission expressed or implied.
+Books in an open case or on a center-table, cards in a card-case, and
+newspapers, are presumed to be open for examination. Be careful where
+you go, what you read, and what you handle, particularly in private
+apartments."</p>
+
+<p>This right to privacy extends to one's business, his personal
+relations, his thoughts, and his feelings. <i>Don't intrude</i>; and always
+"mind your own business," which means, by implication, that you must
+let other people's business alone.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Conformity.</i></h4>
+
+<p>You must conform, to such an extent as not to annoy and give offense,
+to the customs, whether in dress or other matters, of the circle in
+which you move. This conformity is an implied condition in the social
+compact. It is a practical recognition of the right of others, and
+shows merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings. If you
+can not sing in tune with the rest, or on the same key, remain silent.
+You may be right and the others wrong but that does not alter the
+case. Convince them, if you can, and bring them to your pitch, but
+never mar even a low accord. So if you can not adapt your dress and
+manners to the company in which you find yourself, the sooner you take
+your leave the better. You may and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> should endeavor, in a proper way,
+to change such customs and fashions as you may deem wrong, or
+injurious in their tendency, but, in the mean time, you have no right
+to violate them. You may choose your company, but, having chosen it,
+you must conform to its rules til you can change them. You are not
+compelled to reside in Rome; but if you choose to live there, you must
+"do as the Romans do."</p>
+
+<p>The rules which should govern your conduct, as an isolated individual,
+were such a thing as isolation possible in the midst of society, are
+modified by your relations to those around you. This life of ours is a
+complex affair, and our greatest errors arise from our one-side views
+of it. We are sovereign individuals, and are born with certain
+"inalienable rights;" but we are also members of that larger
+individual society, and our rights can not conflict with the duties
+which grow out of that relation. If by means of our non-conformity we
+cause ourselves to be cut off, like an offending hand, or plucked out,
+like an offending eye, our usefulness is at once destroyed.</p>
+
+<p>It is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion he
+turned his tea into his saucer, contrary to his custom and to the
+etiquette of society, because two country ladies, whose hospitalities
+he was enjoying, did so. That king was a <i>gentleman</i>; and this
+anecdote serves to illustrate an important principle; namely, that
+<i>true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit, but
+absolutely demand, a violation of some of the arbitrary rules of
+etiquette</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The <i>highest law</i> demands complete <span class="smcap">HARMONY</span> in all spheres and in all
+relations.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p>
+<h3>IV.&mdash;EQUALITY.</h3>
+
+<p>In the qualified sense which no doubt Mr. Jefferson affixed to the
+term in his own mind, "all men <i>are</i> created free and <i>equal</i>." The
+"noble Oracle" himself had long before as explicitly asserted the
+natural equality of man. In 1739, thirty-seven years before the
+Declaration of Independence was penned, Lord Chesterfield wrote: "We
+are of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us,
+except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman and
+Lizette would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor,
+they are obliged to serve you. Therefore you must not add to their
+misfortune by insulting or ill-treating them. A good heart never
+reminds people of their misfortune, but endeavors to alleviate, or, if
+possible, to make them forget it."</p>
+
+<p>The writer in <i>Life Illustrated</i>, quoted in a previous chapter, states
+the case very clearly as follows:</p>
+
+<p>"It is in the sacredness of their rights that men are equal. The
+smallest injustice done to the smallest man on earth is an offense
+against all men; an offense which all men have a personal and equal
+interest in avenging. If John Smith picks my pocket, the cause in
+court is correctly entitled, 'The <span class="smcap">People</span> <i>versus</i> John Smith.' The
+whole State of New York has taken up my quarrel with John, and arrays
+itself against John in awful majesty; because the pockets, the
+interests, the rights of a man are <i>infinitely</i>, and therefore
+<i>equally</i>, sacred.</p>
+
+<p>"The conviction of this truth is the beginning and basis of the
+science of republican etiquette, which acknowledges no <i>artificial</i>
+distinctions. Its leading principle is, that courtesy is due to all
+men from all men; from the servant to the served; from the served to
+the servant; and from both for precisely the same reason, namely,
+because both are human beings and <i>fellow</i>-citizens!"</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p>
+<h3>V.&mdash;A REMARK OR TWO TO BE REMEMBERED.</h3>
+
+<p>We purpose, in succeeding chapters, to set forth briefly but clearly,
+what the actual requirements of good society are in reference to
+behavior. You must look at these in the light of the general
+principles we have already laid down. It is not for us to say how far
+you ought or can conform to any particular custom, usage, or rule of
+etiquette. We believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious of
+them either have or have had a reason and a meaning. In many cases,
+however, the reason may no longer exist, and the form be meaningless;
+or while it embodies what is a living truth to others, you may have
+outgrown it or advanced beyond it. <i>You have an undoubted right,
+politely but firmly, to decline to do what seems to you, looking upon
+the matter from your highest stand-point, to be clearly wrong, and it
+is no breach of good manners to do so</i>; but at the same time you
+should avoid, as far as possible, putting yourself in positions which
+call for the exercise of this right. If you can not conscientiously
+wear a dress coat, or a stove-pipe hat, or cut your hair, or eat
+flesh-meat, or drink wine, you will naturally avoid, under ordinary
+circumstances, the circles in which non-conformity in these matters
+would be deemed a breach of good manners. When it is necessary that
+you should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in all
+points without a violation of principle, you will courteously, and
+with proper respect for what they probably think entirely right, fall
+back upon the "higher law;" but if it is a mere matter of gloved or
+ungloved hands, cup or saucer, fork or knife, you will certainly have
+the courtesy and good sense to conform to usage.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V.</h2>
+
+<h2>DOMESTIC MANNERS.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for
+the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every
+pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he
+will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in
+another school.&mdash;<i>Harrison.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 76px;">
+<img src="images/imgg.jpg" width="76" height="166" alt="G" title="" />
+</div><p>ood manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes.
+Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only on
+special and rare occasions, it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you.
+If you are not well behaved in your own family circle, you will hardly
+be truly so anywhere, however strictly you may conform to the
+observances of good breeding, when in society. The true gentleman or
+lady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places-&shy;at home as
+well as abroad&mdash;in the field, or workshop, or in the kitchen, as well
+as in the parlor. A snob is&mdash;a <i>snob</i> always and everywhere.</p>
+
+<p>If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or
+mother, his brothers or sisters, his wife or children; or fail to
+exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his
+own fireside, you may at once set him down as a boor, whatever
+<i>pretensions</i> he may make to gentility.</p>
+
+<p>Dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as you
+please at home&mdash;that is, unless you please to behave in a perfectly
+gentlemanly or ladylike manner. The same rights exist there as
+elsewhere, and the same duties grow out of them, while the natural
+respect and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span> affection which should be felt by each member of the
+family for all the other members, add infinitely to their sacredness.
+Let your good manners, then, begin at home.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;PARENTS AND CHILDREN.</h3>
+
+<p>American children (we are sorry to be obliged to say it) are not, as a
+general rule, well behaved. They are rude and disrespectful, if not
+disobedient. They inspire terror rather than love in the breasts of
+strangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order. In our
+drawing-rooms, on board our steamers, in our railway cars and stage
+coaches, they usually contrive to make themselves generally and
+particularly disagreeable by their familiarity, forwardness, and
+pertness. "Young America" can not brook restraint, has no conception
+of superiority, and reverences nothing. His ideas of equality admit
+neither limitation nor qualification. He is born with a full
+comprehension of his own individual rights, but is slow in learning
+his social duties. Through whose fault comes this state of things?
+American boys and girls have naturally as much good sense and
+good-nature as those of any other nation, and, when well trained, no
+children are more courteous and agreeable. The fault lies in their
+education. In the days of our grandfathers, children were taught
+manners at school&mdash;a rather rude, backwoods sort of manners, it is
+true, but better than the no manners at all of the present day. We
+must blame parents in this matter rather than their children. If you
+would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders
+as well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in their
+childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may
+be the better fitted to command in his turn.</p>
+
+<p>Those who are old enough to study this book, are old enough to take
+the matter in to their own hands, and remedy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span> the defects and supply
+the deficiencies of their early education. We beg them to commence at
+once, and <i>at home</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Allow no false ideas of "liberty and equality" to cause you to forget
+for a moment the deference due to your father and your mother. The
+fifth commandment has not been and can not be abrogated. We commend to
+you the example of the Father of his Country. Look into the life of
+Washington, and mark what tender and respectful attentions
+characterized his intercourse with his only surviving parent. <i>He</i>
+never, we venture to say, spoke of his mother as "the old woman," or
+addressed her with incivility. "Never," an old friend of yours adjures
+you, "let youthful levity or the example of others betray you into
+forgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders to a certain
+deference." Nature, a counselor still more sage, we doubt not, has
+written the same injunction upon your heart. <i>Let your manners do
+justice to your feelings!</i></p>
+
+<p>"Toward your father," that polished and courtly "gentleman of the old
+school," the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness
+and Fashion," says, "preserve always a deferential manner, mingled
+with a certain frankness indicating that thorough confidence&mdash;that
+entire understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee of
+good sense in both, and of inestimable value to every young man
+blessed with a right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated by
+experience with respect, receive even reproof without impatience of
+manner, and hasten to prove afterward that you cherish no resentful
+remembrance of what may have seemed to you too great severity or a too
+manifest assumption of authority.... In the inner temple of <i>home</i>, as
+well as where the world looks on, render him reverence due.</p>
+
+<p>"There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention
+that marks your manner to your mother the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> indescribable tenderness
+and rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance
+of early days. No other woman should ever induce you to forget this
+truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner ever
+indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection."</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;BROTHERS AND SISTERS.</h3>
+
+<p>The intercourse of brothers and sisters should be marked by the
+frankness and familiarity befitting their intimate relation; but this
+certainly does not preclude the exercise of all the little courtesies
+of life. Young man, be polite to your sister. She is a woman, and all
+women have claims on you for courteous attentions; and the affection
+which exists between you adds tenfold to the sacredness of the claims
+she has upon you, not only for protection, but for the exercise toward
+her of all the sweet amenities of life. Except your mother and your
+wife or affianced mistress (if you have one), no one can possibly have
+an equal right to your attentions. If you are young and have neither
+wife nor lady-love, let your mother and your sisters be to you the
+embodiment of all that is tenderest, most beautiful, and best in the
+human world. You can have no better school than your daily intercourse
+with them, to fit you for female society in general. The young man who
+loves his sisters and always treats them with the politeness,
+deference, and kindness which is their due, is almost certain to be a
+favorite with their sex generally; so, <i>as you value your reputation
+for good manners and your success with other ladies, fail in no act of
+courtesy to your sisters</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The gentle and loving sister will need no injunction to treat an
+affectionate, polite, and attentive brother with the tender and
+respectful consideration which such a brother deserves. The charming
+little courtesies which you practice<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> so gracefully in your
+intercourse with other gentlemen will not, you may be sure, be lost
+upon him. True politeness is never lost, and never out of place; and
+nowhere does it appear more attractive than at home.</p>
+
+<p>Stiff formality and cold ceremoniousness are repulsive anywhere, and
+are particularly so in the family circle; but the easy, frank, and
+genial intercourse of the fireside, instead of being marred, is
+refined and made still more delightful by courtesy.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;THE HUSBAND AND WIFE.</h3>
+
+<p>Reader, are you married? But excuse us, if the question is not a
+proper one. If you are not, you doubtless hope to be, sooner or later,
+and therefore we will address you just as if you were.</p>
+
+<p>The husband should never cease to be a <i>lover</i>, or fail in any of
+those delicate attentions and tender expressions of affectionate
+solicitude which marked his intercourse before marriage with his
+heart's queen. All the respectful deference, every courteous
+observance, all the self-sacrificing devotion that can be claimed by a
+mistress is certainly due to a wife, and he is no true husband and no
+true <i>gentleman</i> who withholds them. It is not enough that you honor,
+respect, and love your wife. You must put this honor, respect, and
+love into the forms of speech and action. Let no unkind word, no
+seeming indifference, no lack of the little attentions due her, remind
+her sadly of the sweet days of courtship and the honey-moon. Surely
+the love you thought would have been cheaply purchased at the price of
+a world is worth all you care to preserve. Is not the wife more, and
+better, and dearer than the sweetheart? We venture to hint that it is
+probably your own fault if she is not.</p>
+
+<p>The chosen companion of your life, the mother of your<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> children, the
+sharer of all your joys and sorrows, as she possesses the highest
+place in your affections, should have the best place everywhere, the
+choicest morsels, the politest attentions, the softest, kindest words,
+the tenderest care. Love, duty, and good manners alike require it.</p>
+
+<p>And has the wife no duties? Have the courteous observances, the tender
+watchfulness, the pleasant words, the never-tiring devotion, which won
+your smiles, your spoken thanks, your kisses, your very self, in days
+gone by, now lost their value? Does not the husband rightly claim as
+much, at least, as the lover? If you find him less observant of the
+little courtesies due you, may this not be because you sometimes fail
+to reward him with the same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles? Ask your
+own heart.</p>
+
+<p>Have the comfort and happiness of your husband always in view, and let
+him <i>see</i> and <i>feel</i> that you still look up to him with trust and
+affection&mdash;that the love of other days has not grown cold. Dress for
+his eyes more scrupulously than for all the rest of the world; make
+yourself and your home beautiful for his sake; play and sing (if you
+can) to please him; try to beguile him from his cares; retain his
+affections in the same way you won them, and&mdash;be polite even to your
+husband.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;ENTERTAINERS AND THEIR GUESTS.</h3>
+
+<p>Hospitality takes a high rank among the social virtues; but we fear it
+is not held in so high esteem as formerly. Its duties are often
+fatiguing and irksome, no doubt, and sometimes quite unnecessarily so.
+One of the most important maxims of hospitality is, "Let your guests
+alone!" If it were generally observed it would save both hosts and
+visitors a world of trouble. Your first object should be to make your
+guests feel at home. This they never can do while your needless bustle
+and obtrusive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span> attentions constantly remind them that they are not at
+home, and perhaps make them wish they were.</p>
+
+<p>You will not, of course, understand us to mean that you should devote
+no attention to your guests. On the contrary, you should assiduously
+labor to promote their comfort and enjoyment, opening to them every
+source of entertainment within your reach; but it should be done in
+that easy, delicate, considerate way which will make it seem a matter
+of course, and no trouble whatever to you. You should not seem to be
+conferring but receiving a favor.</p>
+
+<p>Begging your visitors to "make themselves at home," does not give them
+the home <i>feeling</i>. Genuine, unaffected friendliness, and an
+unobtrusive and almost unperceived attention to their wants alone will
+impart this. Allow their presence to interfere as little as possible
+with your domestic arrangements; thus letting them see that their
+visit does not disturb you, but that they fall, as it were, naturally
+into a vacant place in your household.</p>
+
+<p>Observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a person
+who, though he may be very much your friend, and really glad to see
+you, seems not to know what to do either with you or himself; and
+again, when in the house of another, you feel as much at ease as in
+your own. Mark the difference, more easily felt than described,
+between the manners of the two, and deduce therefrom a lesson for your
+own improvement.</p>
+
+<p>Furnish your rooms and table for your guests in as good style as your
+means and the circumstances of the case will permit, and make no fuss
+about it. To be unnecessarily sparing shows meanness, and to be
+extravagantly profuse is absurd as well an ruinous. Probably your
+visitors know whether your income is large or small and if they do not
+they will soon learn, on that point, all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> that it is necessary for
+them to know. But if any circumstance out of the ordinary course of
+things should render an apology necessary, make it at once and say no
+more about it.</p>
+
+<p>Avoid by all means the very common but very foolish habit of
+depreciating your own rooms, furniture, or viands, and expressing
+uncalled-for regrets that you have nothing better to offer, merely to
+give your guests an opportunity politely to contradict you. But you
+need not go to the other extreme and extol the meats you set before
+them. Say nothing about these matters.</p>
+
+<p>When visitors show any intention of leaving, you will of course
+express the desire you feel to have them stay longer, but good manners
+do not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes or
+sense of duty. It is to be supposed that they know their own affairs
+best.</p>
+
+<p>Guests sometimes forget (if they ever learned) that <i>they</i> have any
+duties. We beg leave to jog their memory with the following hints from
+the graceful pen of "Mrs. Manners:"</p>
+
+<p>"To accommodate yourself to the habits and rules of the family, in
+regard to hours of rising or retiring, and particularly the hours for
+meals, is the first duty of a guest. Inform yourself as soon as
+possible when the meals occur&mdash;whether there will be a dressing-bell&mdash;at
+what time they meet for prayers, and thus become acquainted with all the
+family regulations. <i>It is always the better way for a family to adhere
+strictly to all their usual habits</i>; it is a much simpler matter for
+one to learn to conform to those than for half a dozen to be thrown out
+of a routine, which may be almost indispensable to the fulfillment of
+their importunate duties. It certainly must promote the happiness of
+any reasonable person to know that his presence is no restraint and
+no inconvenience.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p>
+<p>"Your own good sense and delicacy will teach you the desirability of
+keeping your room tidy, and your articles of dress and toilet as much
+in order as possible. If there is a deficiency of servants, a lady
+will certainly not hesitate to make her own bed, and to do for herself
+as much as possible, and for the family all that is in her power. I
+never saw an elegant lady of my acquaintance appear to better
+advantage than when once performing a service which, under other
+circumstances, might have been considered menial; yet, in her own
+house, she was surrounded by servants, and certainly she never used a
+broom or made a bed a her life."</p>
+
+
+<h3>VI.&mdash;SERVANTS.</h3>
+
+<p>We are all dependent, in one way or another, upon others. At one time
+we serve, at another we are served, and we are equally worthy of honor
+and respect in the one case as in the other. The man or the woman who
+serves us may or may not be our inferior in natural capacity,
+learning, manners, or wealth. Be this as it may, the relation in which
+we stand to him or her gives us no right beyond the exaction of the
+service stipulated or implied in that relation. The right to tyrannize
+over our inferiors in social position, to unnecessarily humiliate
+them, or to be rude and unkind can not exist, because it would be an
+infringement of other rights. Servants have rights as well as those
+whom they serve, and the latter have duties as well as the former. We
+owe those who labor for us something more than their wages. They have
+claims on us for a full recognition of their manhood or womanhood, and
+all the rights which grow out of that state.</p>
+
+<p>The true gentleman is never arrogant, or overbearing, or rude to
+domestics or <i>employ&eacute;es</i>. His commands are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> requests, and all
+services, no matter how humble the servant, are received with thanks,
+as if they were favors. We might say the same with still greater
+emphasis of the true lady. There is no surer sign of vulgarity than a
+needless assumption of the tone of authority and a haughty and
+supercilious bearing toward servants and inferiors in station
+generally. It is a small thing to say, "I thank you," but those little
+words are often better than gold. No one is too poor to bestow, or too
+rich to receive them.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI.</h2>
+
+<h2>THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of
+commercial life: returns are equally expected in both; and
+people will no more advance their civility to a bear, than
+their money to a bankrupt.&mdash;<i>Chesterfield.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;A PRELIMINARY REMARK.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 55px;">
+<img src="images/imgi.jpg" width="55" height="170" alt="I" title="" />
+</div><p>n going out into the great world which lies outside of home we have
+no new principles to lay down for your guidance. Those we have set
+forth and illustrated in previous chapters are of universal
+application and meet all contingencies. We shall now essay a brief
+exposition of the established laws of etiquette, leaving each reader
+to judge for himself how far he can and ought to conform to them, and
+what modifications they require to adapt them to a change of time,
+place, and circumstances.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;INTRODUCTIONS.</h3>
+
+<p>It is neither necessary nor desirable to introduce everybody to
+everybody; and the promiscuous presentations sometimes inflicted upon
+us are anything but agreeable. You confer no favor on us, and only a
+nominal one on the person presented, by making us acquainted with one
+whom we do not desire to know; and you <i>may</i> inflict a positive injury
+upon both. Yon also put yourself in an unpleasant position; for "an
+introduction is a social indorsement," and yell become to a certain
+extent responsible for the person you introduce. If he disgraces
+himself in any way you share, in a greater or less degree, in his
+disgrace. Be as cautious in this matter as you would in writing your
+name on the back of another man's note.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span></p>
+<p>As a general rule, no gentleman should be presented to a lady without
+her permission being previously obtained. Between gentlemen this
+formality is not always necessary, but you should have good reason to
+believe that the acquaintance will be agreeable to both, before
+introducing any persons to each other. If a gentleman requests you to
+present him to another gentleman who is his superior in social
+position, or to a lady, you should either obtain permission of the
+latter, or decline to accede to his request, on the ground that you
+are not sufficiently intimate yourself to take the liberty.</p>
+
+<p>If you are walking with a friend, and are met or joined by another, it
+is not necessary to introduce them to each other; but you may do so if
+you think they would be glad to become acquainted. The same rule will
+apply to other accidental meetings.</p>
+
+<p>When two men call upon a stranger on a matter of business, each should
+present the other.</p>
+
+<p>The inferior should be introduced to the superior&mdash;the gentleman to
+the lady, as, "Miss Brown, permit me to introduce Mr. Smith." A lady
+may, however, be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age or
+station. Gentlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age and
+position are mutually introduced; as, "Mr. Wilson, allow me to make
+you acquainted with Mr. Parker; Mr. Parker, Mr. Wilson."</p>
+
+<p>In presenting persons be very careful to speak their names plainly;
+and on being introduced to another, if you do not catch the name, say,
+without hesitation or embarrassment, "I beg your pardon, I did not
+hear the name."</p>
+
+<p>It is the common custom in this country to shake hands on being
+introduced. It is better that this should be optional with the person
+to whom you are presented or with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> you, if you stood in the position
+of the superior. If a lady or a superior in age or social position
+offers the hand, you of course accept it cordially. You will have too
+much self-respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case.
+In merely formal introductions a bow is enough. Feeling should govern
+in this matter.</p>
+
+<p>In introducing members of your own family you should always mention
+the name. Say, "My father Mr. Jones," "My daughter Miss Jones," or
+"Miss Mary Jones." Your wife is simply "Mrs. Jones;" and if there
+happen to be another Mrs. Jones in the family, she may be "Mrs. Jones,
+my sister-in-law," etc. To speak of your wife as "my lady," or enter
+yourselves on a hotel register as Mr. Jones and lady, is particularly
+<i>snobbish</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Introductions by letter are subject to the same general rules as
+verbal ones: we should, however, be still more cautious in giving
+them; but for directions on this point, as well as forms for letters
+of introduction, see "How to Write," <a href="#IX">Chapter IX</a>.</p>
+
+<p>But may we not speak to a person without an introduction? In many
+cases we most certainly may and should. There is no reason in the
+world why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car or
+a stage coach should remain silent during the whole journey because
+they have not been introduced, when conversation might be agreeable to
+both. The same remark will apply to many other occasions. You are not
+obliged, however to know these <i>extempore</i> acquaintances afterward.</p>
+
+<p>If you are a gentleman, do not, we beg you, permit the lack of an
+introduction to prevent you from promptly offering your services to
+any unattended lady who may need them. Take off your hat and politely
+beg the honor of protecting, escorting, or assisting her, and when the
+service has been accomplished, bow and retire.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span></p>
+<h3>III.&mdash;SALUTATIONS.</h3>
+
+<p>"Salutation," a French writer says, "is the touchstone of good
+breeding." Your good sense will teach you that it should vary in style
+with persons, times, places, and circumstances. You will meet an
+intimate friend with a hearty shake of the hand and an inquiry
+indicative of real interest, in reference to his health and that of
+his family. To another person you how respectfully without speaking. A
+slight note of recognition suffices in another case. But you should
+never come into the presence of any person, unless you feel at liberty
+to ignore their existence altogether, without some form of salutation.
+If you meet in company a person with whom you have a quarrel, it is
+better in general to bow coldly and ceremoniously than to seem not to
+see him.</p>
+
+<p>It is a great rudeness not to return a salutation, no matter how
+humble the person who salutes you. "A bow," La Fontaine says, "is a
+note drawn at sight. If you acknowledge it, you must pay the full
+amount." The two best bred men in England, Charles the Second and
+George the Fourth, never failed to take off their hats to the meanest
+of their subjects. A greater man than either, and a true "gentleman of
+the old school," George Washington, was wont to lift his hat even to
+the poor negro slave, who took off his as that great man passed.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;RECEPTIONS.</h3>
+
+<p>The duty of receiving visitors usually devolves upon the mistress of
+the house, and should be performed in an easy, quiet, and self
+possessed manner, and without any unnecessary ceremony. In this way
+you will put your guests at their ease, and make their call or visit
+pleasant both to them and to yourself. From a little book before us<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>
+entitled "Etiquette for Ladies," we condense a few useful hints on
+this subject:</p>
+
+<p>"When any one enters, whether announced or not, rise immediately,
+advance toward him, and request him to sit down. If it is a young man,
+<i>offer</i> him an arm-chair, or a stuffed one; if an elderly man,
+<i>insist</i> upon his <i>accepting</i> the arm-chair; if a lady, beg her to be
+seated upon the sofa. If the master of the house receives the
+visitors, he will take a chair and place himself at a little distance
+from them; if, on the contrary, it is the mistress of the house, and
+if she is intimate with the lady who visits her, she will place
+herself near her. If several ladies come at once, we give the most
+honorable place to the one who, from age or other considerations, is
+most entitled to respect. In winter, the most honorable places are
+those at the corners of the fireplace.</p>
+
+<p>"If the visitor is a stranger, the master or mistress of the house
+rises, and any persons who may be already in the room should do the
+same. If some of them then withdraw, the master or mistress of the
+house should conduct them as far as the door. But whoever the person
+may be who departs, if we have other company, we may dispense with
+conducting farther than the door of the room."</p>
+
+<p>Quiet self-possession and unaffected courtesy will enable you to make
+even a ceremonious morning call tolerable, if not absolutely pleasant
+to both the caller and yourself.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;VISITS AND CALLS.</h3>
+
+<p>Visits are of various kinds, each of which has its own terms and
+observances. There are visits of ceremony, visits of congratulation,
+visits of condolence, visits of friendship.</p>
+
+<p>Visits of ceremony, though they take up a large share<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> of the time of
+the fashionable lady, are very stupid affairs as a general thing, and
+have little to recommend them except&mdash;Fashion. The best thing about
+them is that they may and should be short.</p>
+
+<p>You pay visits of congratulation to your friends on the occurrence of
+any particularly auspicious event in his family, or on his appointment
+to any office or dignity.</p>
+
+<p>Visits of condolence should be made within the week after the event
+which calls for them.</p>
+
+<p>Let visits of friendship be governed by friendship's own laws, and the
+universal principles of good manners. We shall give no particular
+rules for the regulation of their time or their length.</p>
+
+<p>"Morning calls," the "Illustrated Manners Book" says "are the small
+change of social commerce; parties and assemblies are the heavy
+drafts. A call is not less than ten nor more than twenty minutes in
+the city; in the country a little longer. The time for a morning call
+is between eleven and two o'clock, unless your friends are so
+fashionable as to dine at five or six, in which case you can call from
+twelve to three. Morning, in fashionable parlance, means any time
+before dinner."</p>
+
+<p>In a morning call or visit of ceremony, the gentleman takes his hat
+and cane, if he carries one, into the room. The lady does not take off
+her bonnet and shawl. In attending ladies who are making morning
+calls, a gentleman assists them up the steps, rings the bell,
+<i>follows</i> them into the room, and waits till they have finished their
+salutations, unless he has a part to perform in presenting them.
+Ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa, and
+when they have made their <i>adieux</i> their cavaliers repeat the
+ceremony, and follow them out.</p>
+
+<p>Soiled overshoes or wet garments should not be worn into any room
+devoted to the use of ladies. Gentlemen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> must never remain seated in
+the company of ladies with whom he is ceremoniously associated, while
+they are standing. Always relieve ladies of their parcels, parasols,
+shawls, etc. whenever this will conduce to their convenience.<a name="FNanchor_B_2" id="FNanchor_B_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_B_2" class="fnanchor">[B]</a></p>
+
+<p>If you call on a person who is "engaged," or "not at home," leave your
+card. If there are several persons you desire to see, leave a card for
+each, or desire a servant to present your compliments to them
+severally. All visits should be returned, personally or by card, just
+as one should speak when spoken to, or answer a respectful letter.</p>
+
+<p>In visiting at a hotel, do not enter your friend's room till your card
+has announced you. If not at home, send your card to his room with
+your address written upon it as well as the name of the person for
+whom it is intended, to avoid mistakes.<a name="FNanchor_C_3" id="FNanchor_C_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_C_3" class="fnanchor">[C]</a></p>
+
+<p>When you are going abroad, intending to be absent for some time, you
+inclose your card in an envelope, having first, written T. T. L. [to
+take leave], or P. P. C. [<i>pour prendre cong&eacute;</i>] upon it&mdash;for a man the
+former is better&mdash;and direct it outside to the person for whom it is
+intended. In taking leave of a <i>family</i>, you send as many cards as you
+would if you were paying an ordinary visit. When you return from your
+voyage, all the persons to whom, before going, you have sent cards,
+will pay you the first visit. If, previously to a voyage or his
+marriage, any one should not send his card to another, it is to be
+understood that he wishes the acquaintance to cease. The person,
+therefore, who is thus <i>dis</i>carded, should never again visit the
+other.<a name="FNanchor_D_4" id="FNanchor_D_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_D_4" class="fnanchor">[D]</a></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p><p>Visiting cards should be engraved or handsomely written. Those
+printed on type are considered vulgar, simply, no doubt, because they
+are cheap. A gentleman's card should be of medium size, unglazed,
+ungilt, and perfectly plain. A lady's card may be larger and finer,
+and should be carried in a card-case.</p>
+
+<p>If you should happen to be paying an evening visit at a house, where,
+unknown to you, there is a small party assembled, you should enter and
+present yourself precisely as you would have done had you been
+invited. To retire precipitately with an apology for the intrusion
+would create a <i>scene</i>, and be extremely awkward. Go in, therefore,
+converse with ease for a few moments, and then retire.</p>
+
+<p>In making morning calls, usage allows a gentleman to wear a frock
+coat, or a sack coat, if the latter happen to be in fashion. The frock
+coat is now, in this country, <i>tolerated</i> at dinner-parties, and even
+at a ball, but is not considered in good <i>ton</i> or style.</p>
+
+<p>"Ladies," according to the authority of a writer of their own sex,
+"should make morning calls in an elegant and simple <i>n&eacute;glig&eacute;</i>, all the
+details of which we can not give, on account of their multiplicity and
+the numerous modifications of fashion. It is necessary for them, when
+visiting at this time, to arrange their toilet with great care."</p>
+
+
+<h3>VI.&mdash;APPOINTMENTS.</h3>
+
+<p>Be exact in keeping all appointments. It is better never to avail
+yourself of even the quarter of an hour's grace sometimes allowed.</p>
+
+<p>If you make an appointment with another at your own house, you should
+be invisible to the rest of the world, and consecrate your time solely
+to him.</p>
+
+<p>If you accept an appointment at the house of a public<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> officer or a
+man of business, be very punctual, transact the affair with dispatch,
+and retire the moment it is finished.</p>
+
+<p>At a dinner or supper to which you have accepted an invitation, be
+absolutely punctual. It is very annoying to arrive an hour before the
+rest, and still worse to be too late. If you find yourself in the
+latter predicament on an occasion where ceremony is required, send in
+your card, with an apology, and retire.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VII.&mdash;TABLE MANNERS.</h3>
+
+<p>We shall speak in another place of the ceremonious observances
+requisite at formal dinner parties. Our observations here will be of a
+more general character, and of universal application.</p>
+
+<p>Take your seat quietly at the table. Sit firmly in your chair, without
+lolling, leaning back, drumming, or any other uncouth action. Unfold
+your napkin and lay it in your lap, eat soup delicately with a spoon,
+holding a piece of bread in your left hand. Be careful to make no
+noise in chewing or swallowing your food.</p>
+
+<p>Cut your food with your knife; but the fork is to be used to convey it
+to your mouth. A spoon is employed for food that can not be eaten with
+a fork. Take your fork or spoon in the right hand. Never use both
+hands to convey anything to your month. Break your bread, not cut or
+bite it. Your cup was made to drink from, and your saucer to hold the
+cup. It is not well to drink anything hot; but you can wait till your
+tea or coffee cools. Eggs should be eaten from the shell (chipping off
+a little of the <i>larger</i> end), with or without an egg-cup. The egg-cup
+is to hold the shell, and not its contents.</p>
+
+<p>Be attentive to the wants of any lady who may be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> seated next to you,
+especially where there are no servants, and pass anything that may be
+needful to others.</p>
+
+<p>When you send up your plate for anything, your knife and fork should
+go with it. When you have finished the course, lay your knife and fork
+on your plate, parallel to each other, with the handles toward your
+right hand. Of course, you should never put your knife into the butter
+or the salt, or your spoon into the sugar-bowl. <i>Eat moderately and
+slowly</i>, for your health's sake; but rapid, gross, and immoderate
+eating is as vulgar as it is unwholesome. Never say or do anything at
+table that is liable to produce disgust. Wipe your nose, if needful,
+but never blow it. If it is necessary to do this, or to spit, leave
+the table.</p>
+
+<p>It is almost unnecessary to mention that the table-cloth is not the
+place to put your salt. Bread is the only comestible which the custom
+of well-bred people permits to be laid off your plate.</p>
+
+<p>It is well not to seem too much in haste to commence, as if you are
+famishing, but neither is it necessary to wait till everybody is
+served before you commence.</p>
+
+<p>It is perfectly proper to "take the last piece," if you want it,
+always presuming that there is more of the same in reserve.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VIII.&mdash;CONVERSATION.</h3>
+
+<p>As conversation is the principal business in company, we can not well
+pay too much attention to it; but having devoted another work to the
+subject, we shall make this section briefer than would otherwise be
+allowable, and refer our readers for complete instructions in this
+important art to "How to Talk."<a name="FNanchor_E_5" id="FNanchor_E_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_E_5" class="fnanchor">[E]</a> The maxims which follow are mostly
+compiled from other works now before us.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span></p>
+<p>The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in
+showing a great deal yourself. He who goes from your conversation
+pleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased with
+you. The most delicate pleasure is to please another.<a name="FNanchor_F_6" id="FNanchor_F_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_F_6" class="fnanchor">[F]</a></p>
+
+<p>Men of all sorts of occupations meet in society. As they go there to
+unbend their minds and escape from the fetters of business, you should
+never, in an evening, speak to a man about his profession. Do not talk
+of politics to a journalist, of fevers to a physician, of stocks to a
+broker. Talk to a mother about her children. Women are never tired of
+hearing of themselves and their children.<a name="FNanchor_G_7" id="FNanchor_G_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_G_7" class="fnanchor">[G]</a></p>
+
+<p>In promiscuous companies you should vary your address agreeably to the
+different ages of the persons to whom you speak. It would be rude and
+absurd to talk of your courtships or your pleasures to men of certain
+dignity and gravity, to clergymen, or men in years. To women you
+should always address yourself with great respect and attention; their
+sex is entitled to it, and it is among the duties of good manners; at
+the same time, that respect is very properly and very agreeably mixed
+with a degree of gayety, if you have it.</p>
+
+<p>In relating anything, avoid repetitions, or very hackneyed
+expressions, such as, <i>says he</i>, or <i>says she</i>. Some people will use
+these so often as to take off the hearer's attention from the story;
+as, in an organ out of tune, one pipe shall perhaps sound the whole
+time we are playing, and confuse the piece so as not to be understood.</p>
+
+<p>Carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domestic
+concerns. By doing the one, you will be thought vain; by entering into
+the other, you will <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span>be considered officious. Talking of yourself is
+an impertinence to the company; your affairs are nothing to them;
+besides, they can not be kept too secret. As to the affairs of others,
+what are they to you?</p>
+
+<p>You should never help out or forestall the slow speaker, as if you
+alone were rich in expressions, and he were poor. You may take it for
+granted that every one is vain enough to think he can talk well,
+though he may modestly deny it. [There is an exception to this rule.
+In speaking with foreigners, who understand our language imperfectly,
+and may be unable to find the right word, it is sometimes polite to
+assist them by suggesting the word they require.]</p>
+
+<p>Giving advice unasked is another piece of rudeness. It is, in effect,
+declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproaching
+them with ignorance and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not
+to be taken with any common acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>Those who contradict others upon all occasions, and make every
+assertion a matter of dispute, betray, by this behavior, a want of
+acquaintance with good breeding.</p>
+
+<p>Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of
+bad company and a bad education. A man of fashion avoids nothing with
+more care than that. Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the
+flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man.<a name="FNanchor_H_8" id="FNanchor_H_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_H_8" class="fnanchor">[H]</a></p>
+
+<p>Never descend to flattery; but deserved compliments should never be
+withheld. Be attentive to any person who may be speaking to you, and
+be equally ready to speak or to listen, as the case may require. Never
+dispute. As a general rule, do not ride your own <i>hobbies</i> in a mixed
+company, nor allow yourself to be "trotted out" for their amusement.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+<h3>IX.&mdash;MUSIC.</h3>
+
+<p>When music commences, conversation should cease. It is very rude to
+talk while another person is singing or playing.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play; but if she
+intends to do so, she should not affect to refuse when asked, but
+obligingly accede at once. If you can not sing, or do not choose to,
+say so with seriousness and gravity, and put an end to the expectation
+promptly. After singing once or twice, cease and give place to others.
+The complaint is as old as the days of Horace, that a singer can with
+the greatest difficulty be set agoing, and when agoing, can not be
+stopped.</p>
+
+<p>In playing an accompaniment for another, do not forget that it is
+intended to aid, and not to interrupt, and that the instrument is
+subordinate to the singer.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is playing, it is desirable that some one should turn the
+leaves for her. Some gentleman will be generally at hand to do this,
+but unless he be able to read music, his services may as well be
+dispensed with.</p>
+
+
+<h3>X.&mdash;LETTERS AND NOTES.</h3>
+
+<p>Few accomplishments are more important than letter writing&mdash;in fact,
+it is absolutely indispensable to every man or woman who desires to
+fill a respectable position it society. But good letter-writers are
+rare. Too little attention is paid to the subject in our systems of
+education; and the lack of the ability to write a decent letter, or
+even a note of invitation, acceptance, or regret, is often the cause
+of great mortification, to say nothing of the delays, misunderstandings,
+and losses resulting in business affairs from bungling and incorrectly
+written letters.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p>
+<p>The impossibility of doing justice to the subject in the very limited
+space that we could devote to it in this work, compels us to refer the
+reader to our little manual of Composition and Letter-Writing,
+entitled "How to Write," in which the whole subject is thoroughly
+explained and illustrated.</p>
+
+
+<h3>XI.&mdash;MISCELLANEOUS HINTS.</h3>
+
+<h4><br />1. <i>Which goes First?</i></h4>
+
+<p>In ascending or descending stairs with a lady, it is proper to offer
+your arm, provided the stair-case is sufficiently wide to permit two
+to go up or down abreast.</p>
+
+<p>But if it is not, which should go first? Authorities disagree. Usage
+is not settled. It is a general rule of etiquette to give ladies the
+precedence everywhere. Is there a sufficient reason for making this an
+exception? One says that if you follow a lady in going down stairs,
+you are liable to tread on her dress, and that if she precedes you in
+going up, she might display a large foot or a thick ankle which were
+better concealed. He thinks the gentleman should go first. Another
+calls this a maxim of prudery and the legacy of a maiden aunt. Colonel
+Lunettes, our oft-quoted friend of the old <i>r&eacute;gime</i>, speaks very
+positively on this point. "Nothing is more absurd," he says, "than the
+habit of preceding ladies in ascending stairs, adopted by some men&mdash;as
+if by following just behind them, as one should if the arm be
+disengaged, there can be any impropriety. Soiled frills and unmended
+hose must have originated this vulgarity." Let the ladies decide.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>An American Habit.</i></h4>
+
+<p>There is a habit peculiar to the United States, and from which even
+some females, who class themselves as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> ladies, are not entirely
+free&mdash;that of lolling back, balanced upon the two hind legs of a
+chair. Such a breach of good breeding is rarely committed in Europe.
+Lolling is carried even so for in America, that it is not uncommon to
+see the attorneys lay their feet upon the council table; and the
+clerks and judges theirs also upon their desks in open court.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Gloved or Ungloved?</i></h4>
+
+<p>In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand; but
+if two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep each
+other waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer a
+gloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved. Foreigners are
+sometimes very sensitive in this matter, and might deem the glove an
+insult. It is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove in
+his hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands. At a ball
+or a party the gloves should not be taken off.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Equality.</i></h4>
+
+<p>In company, though none are <i>free</i>, yet all are <i>equal</i>. All,
+therefore, whom you meet should be treated with equal respect,
+although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of
+attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her
+guests.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>False Shame.</i></h4>
+
+<p>In a letter to his son, Lord Chesterfield makes the following
+confession: "I have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent, for
+meeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought and
+called fine company. I have returned his notice shyly, awkwardly, and
+consequently offensively, for fear of a momentary joker not
+considering, as I ought to have done, that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> the very people who would
+have joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me the more for it
+afterward."</p>
+
+<p>A good hint for us all.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>Pulling out one's Watch.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Pulling out your watch in company, unasked, either at home or abroad,
+is a mark of ill-breeding. If at home, it appears as if you were tired
+of your company, and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if the
+hours dragged heavily, and you wished to be gone yourself. If you want
+to know the time, withdraw; besides, as the taking what is called
+French leave was introduced, that, on one person's leaving the
+company, the rest might not be disturbed, looking at your watch does
+what that piece of politeness was designed to prevent.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>Husband and Wife.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;, and a
+lady of her husband as Mr. &mdash;&mdash;. So one does not say in speaking to
+another, "your wife," or "your husband," but Mrs. or Mr. &mdash;&mdash;. Among
+intimates, however, to say "my wife," or "my husband," is better,
+because less formal. Let there be a <i>fitness</i> in everything, whatever
+conventional rules you may violate.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>Bowing vs. Curtseying.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Curtseying is obsolete. Ladies now universally bow instead. The latter
+is certainly a more convenient, if not a more graceful form of
+salutation, particularly on the street.</p>
+
+
+<h4>9. <i>Presents.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Among friends, presents ought to be made of things of small value; or,
+if valuable, their worth should be derived from the style of the
+workmanship, or from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span> some accidental circumstance, rather than from
+the inherent and solid richness. Especially never offer to a lady a
+gift of great cost; it is in the highest degree indelicate, and looks
+as if you were desirous of placing her under an obligation to you, and
+of buying her good-will.</p>
+
+<p>The gifts made by ladies to gentlemen are of the most refined nature
+possible; they should be little articles not purchased, but deriving a
+priceless value as being the offspring of their gentle skill; a little
+picture from their pencil or a trifle from their needle.</p>
+
+<p>A present should be made with as little parade and ceremony as
+possible. If it is a small matter, a gold pencil-case, a thimble to a
+lady, or an affair of that sort, it should not be offered formally,
+but in an indirect way.</p>
+
+<p>Emerson says: "Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for
+gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me.
+Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the
+farmer, his corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the
+painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing."</p>
+
+
+<h4>10. <i>Snobbery</i></h4>
+
+<p>When you hear a man insisting upon points of etiquette and fashion;
+wondering, for instance, how people can eat with steel forks and
+survive it, or what charms existence has for persons who dine at three
+without soup and fish, be sure that that individual is a snob.</p>
+
+
+<h4>11. <i>Children.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Recollect, in
+the matter of children, how many are born every hour, each are almost
+as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma.</p>
+
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTES:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_B_2" id="Footnote_B_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_B_2"><span class="label">[B]</span></a> "Colonel Lunettes."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_C_3" id="Footnote_C_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_C_3"><span class="label">[C]</span></a> "Manners Book."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_D_4" id="Footnote_D_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_D_4"><span class="label">[D]</span></a> "Etiquette for Gentlemen."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_E_5" id="Footnote_E_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_E_5"><span class="label">[E]</span></a> "How to Talk: A Pocket Manual of Conversation, Public
+Speaking, and Debating." New York. Fowler and Wells. Price 80 cents.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_F_6" id="Footnote_F_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_F_6"><span class="label">[F]</span></a> La Bruy&egrave;re</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_G_7" id="Footnote_G_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_G_7"><span class="label">[G]</span></a> "Etiquette for Gentlemen."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_H_8" id="Footnote_H_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_H_8"><span class="label">[H]</span></a> Chesterfield.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII.</h2>
+
+<h2>THE ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem medium"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i13">Great plenty, much formality, small cheer,<br /></span>
+<span class="i13">And everybody out of his own sphere.&mdash;<i>Byron.</i><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;DINNER PARTIES.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 78px;">
+<img src="images/imga.jpg" width="78" height="163" alt="A" title="" />
+</div><p>&nbsp;young man or a young woman, unaccustomed to the settled observances
+of such occasions, can hardly pass through a severer ordeal than a
+formal dinner. Its terrors, however, are often greatly magnified. Such
+a knowledge of the principal points of table etiquette as you may
+acquire from this book, complete self-possession, habits of
+observation, and a fair share of practical good sense, will carry one
+safely if not pleasantly through it.</p>
+
+<p>You may entertain the opinion that such dinners, and formal parties in
+general, are tiresome affairs, and that there might be quite as much
+real courtesy and a great deal more enjoyment with less ceremony, and
+we may entirely agree with you; but what <i>is</i>, and not what <i>might
+be</i>, is the point to be elucidated. We are to take society as we find
+it. You may, as a general rule, decline invitations to dinner parties
+without any breach of good manners, and without giving offense, if you
+think that neither your enjoyment nor your interests will be promoted
+by accepting; or you may not go into what is technically called
+"society" at all, and yet you are liable, at a hotel, on board a
+steamer, or on some extraordinary occasion, to be placed in a position
+in which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> ignorance of dinner etiquette will be very mortifying and
+the information contained in this section be worth a hundred times the
+cost of the book.</p>
+
+<p>We now proceed to note the common routine of a fashionable dinner, as
+laid down in books and practiced in polite society. On some points
+usage is not uniform, but varies in different countries, and even in
+different cities in the same country, as well as in different circles
+in the same place. For this reason you must not rely wholly upon this
+or any other manners book, but, keeping your eyes open and your wits
+about you, <i>wait and see what others do</i>, and follow the prevailing
+mode.</p>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>Invitations.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Invitations to a dinner are usually issued several days before the
+appointed time&mdash;the length of time being proportioned to the grandeur
+of the occasion. On receiving one, you should answer at once,
+addressing the lady of the house. You should either accept or decline
+unconditionally, as they will wish to know whom to expect, and make
+their preparations accordingly.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Dress.</i></h4>
+
+<p>You must go to a dinner party in "full dress." Just what this is, is a
+question of time and place. Strictly interpreted, it allows gentlemen
+but little choice. A black dress coat and trowsers, a black or white
+vest and cravat, white gloves, and pumps and silk stockings were
+formerly rigorously insisted upon. But the freedom-loving "spirit of
+the age" has already made its influence felt even in the realms of
+fashion, and a little more latitude is now allowed in most circles.
+The "American Gentleman's Guide" enumerates the essentials of a
+gentleman's dress for occasions of ceremony in general, as follows:</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p><p>"A stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color and of
+unexceptionable quality, nether garments to correspond, or in warm
+weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a
+fashionable material and make, the finest and purest linen,
+embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest of some dark or
+neutral tint, according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the
+wearer and the <i>prevailing mode</i>; an entirely fresh-looking,
+fashionable black hat, and carefully-fitted modish boots, white
+gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief."</p>
+
+<p>A lady's "full dress" is not easily defined, and fashion allows her
+greater scope for the exercise of her taste in the selection of
+materials, the choice of colors, and the style of making. Still, she
+must "be in the fashion."</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Punctuality.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Never allow yourself to be a minute behind the time. The dinner can
+not be served till all the guests have arrived. If it is spoiled
+through your tardiness, you are responsible not only to your inviter,
+but to his outraged guests. Better be too late for the steamer or the
+railway train than for a dinner!</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Going to the Table.</i></h4>
+
+<p>When dinner is announced, the host rises and requests all to walk to
+the dining-room, to which he leads the way, having given his arm to
+the lady who, from age or any other consideration, is entitled to
+precedence. Each gentleman offers his arm to a lady, and all follow in
+order. If you are not the principal guest, you must be careful not to
+offer your arm to the handsomest or most distinguished lady.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Arrangement of Guests.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Where rank or social position are regarded (and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> where are they not to
+some extent?), the two most distinguished gentlemen are placed next
+the mistress of the house, and the two most distinguished ladies next
+the master of the house. The right hand is especially the place of
+honor. If it is offered to you, you should not refuse it.</p>
+
+<p>It is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrange
+the guests, and to place them in such a manner that the conversation
+may always be general during the entertainment. If the number of
+gentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies, we should take care
+to intermingle them. We should separate husbands from their wives, and
+remove near relations as far from one another as possible, because
+being always together they ought not to converse among themselves in a
+general party.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>Duties of the Host.</i></h4>
+
+<p>To perform faultlessly the honors of the table is one of the most
+difficult things in society; it might indeed be asserted, without much
+fear of contradiction, that no man has as yet ever reached exact
+propriety in his office as host. When he receives others, he must be
+content to forget himself; he must relinquish all desire to shine, and
+even all attempts to please his guests by conversation, and rather do
+all in his power to let them please one another.</p>
+
+<p>Help ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy, moderation, and
+fastidiousness of their appetites; and do not overload the plate of
+any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission.
+It spoils the meat for some persons.</p>
+
+<p>Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes; never
+ask persons more than once, and never put anything by force upon their
+plates. It is <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to press
+one to eat of anything.</p>
+
+<p>The host should never recommend or eulogize any particular dish; his
+guests will take it for granted that anything found at his table is
+excellent.</p>
+
+<p>The most important maxim in hospitality is to leave every one to his
+own choice and enjoyment, and to free him <i>from an ever-present sense
+of being entertained</i>. You should never send away your own plate until
+all your guests have finished.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>Duties of the Guests.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Gentlemen must be assiduous but not officious in their attentions to
+the ladies. See that they lack nothing, but do not seem to watch them.</p>
+
+<p>If a "grace" is to be asked, treat the observance with respect. Good
+manners require this, even if veneration fails to suggest it.</p>
+
+<p>Soup will come first. <i>You must not decline it</i>; because nothing else
+can be served till the first course is finished, and to sit with
+nothing before you would be awkward. But you may eat as little of it
+as you choose. The host serves his left-hand neighbor first, then his
+right hand, and so on till all are served. Take whatever is given you,
+and do <i>not</i> offer it to your neighbor; and begin at once to eat. You
+must not suck soup into your month, blow it, or send for a second
+plate. The second course is fish, which is to be eaten with a fork,
+and without vegetables. The last part of this injunction does not, of
+course, apply to informal dinners, where fish is the principal dish.
+Fish, like soup, is served but once. When you have eaten what you
+wish, you lay your fork on your plate, and the waiter removes it. The
+third course brings the principal dishes&mdash;roast and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span> boiled meats,
+fowl, etc., which are followed by game. There are also side dishes of
+various kinds. At dessert, help the ladies near you to whatever they
+may require. Serve strawberries with a spoon, but pass cherries,
+grapes, or peaches for each to help himself with his fingers. You need
+not volunteer to pare an apple or a peach for a lady, but should do
+so, of course, at her request, using her fork or some other than your
+own to hold it.</p>
+
+<p>We have said in our remarks on table manners in general, in a previous
+chapter, that in sending your plate for anything, you should leave
+your knife and fork upon it. For this injunction we have the authority
+of most of the books on etiquette, as well as of general usage. There
+seems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact, that to hold
+them in your hand would be awkward, and to lay them on the table-cloth
+might soil it; but the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide,"
+whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned, says
+that they should be retained, and either kept together in the hand, or
+rested upon your bread, to avoid soiling the cloth.</p>
+
+<p>Eat deliberately and decorously (there can be no harm in repeating
+this precept), masticate your food thoroughly, and <i>beware of drinking
+too much ice-water</i>.</p>
+
+<p>If your host is not a "temperance man," that is, one pledged to total
+abstinence, wine will probably be drunk. You can of course decline,
+but you must do so courteously, and without any reflection upon those
+who drink. You are not invited to deliver a temperance lecture.</p>
+
+<p>Where finger-glasses are used, dip the tips of your fingers in the
+water and wipe them on your napkin; and wet a corner of the napkin and
+wipe your mouth. Snobs<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> sometimes wear gloves at table. It is not
+necessary that you should imitate them.</p>
+
+<p>The French fashion of having the principal dishes carved on a
+side-table, and served by attendants, is now very generally adopted at
+ceremonious dinners in this country, but few gentlemen who go into
+company at all can safely count upon never being called upon to carve,
+and the <i>art</i> is well worth acquiring. Ignorance of it sometimes
+places one in an awkward position. You will find directions on this
+subject in almost any cook-book; you will learn more, however, by
+watching an accomplished carver than in any other way.</p>
+
+<p>Do not allow yourself to be too much engrossed in attending to the
+wants of the stomach, to join in the cheerful interchange of
+civilities and thoughts with those near you.</p>
+
+<p>We must leave a hundred little things connected with a dinner party
+unmentioned; but what we have said here, together with the general
+canons of eating laid down in <a href="#VI">Chapter VI</a>. (Section 7, "Table
+Manners"), and a little observation, will soon make you a proficient
+in the etiquette of these occasions, in which, if you will take our
+advice, you will not participate very frequently. An <i>informal</i>
+dinner, at which you meet two or three friends, and find more cheer
+and less ceremony, is much to be preferred.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;EVENING PARTIES.</h3>
+
+<p>Evening parties are of various kinds, and more or less ceremonious, as
+they are more or less fashionable. Their object is or should be social
+enjoyment, and the manners of the company ought to be such as will
+best promote it. A few hints, therefore, in addition to the general
+maxims of good behavior already laid down, will suffice.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p>
+<h4>1. <i>Invitations.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Having accepted an invitation to a party, never fail to keep your
+promise, and especially do not allow bad weather, of any ordinary
+character, to prevent your attendance. A married man should never
+accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Salutations.</i></h4>
+
+<p>When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the
+lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most
+intimate friends are enveloped in an opake atmosphere until you have
+made your bow to your entertainer.<a name="FNanchor_I_9" id="FNanchor_I_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_I_9" class="fnanchor">[I]</a> You then mix with the company,
+salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may
+converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without
+the formality of an introduction.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Conversation.</i></h4>
+
+<p>When conversation is not general, nor the subject sufficiently
+interesting to occupy the whole company, they break up into different
+groups. Each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on his
+right and left. We should, if we wish to speak to any one, avoid
+leaning upon the person who happens to be between. A gentleman ought
+not to lean upon the arm of a lady's chair, but he may, if standing,
+support himself by the back of it, in order to converse with the lady
+partly turned toward him.<a name="FNanchor_J_10" id="FNanchor_J_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_J_10" class="fnanchor">[J]</a></p>
+
+<p>The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing one
+with another at a party.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>French Leave.</i></h4>
+
+<p>If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>up, take "French
+leave"&mdash;that is, go quietly out without disturbing any one, and
+without saluting even the mistress of the house, unless you can do so
+without attracting attention. The contrary course would interrupt the
+rest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations
+and ceremony.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Sports and Games.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Among young people, and particularly in the country, a variety of
+sports or plays, as they are called, are in vogue. Some of them are
+fitting only for children; but others are more intellectual, and may
+be made sources of improvement as well as of amusement.</p>
+
+<p>Entering into the spirit of these sports, we throw off some of the
+restraints of a more formal intercourse; but they furnish no excuse
+for rudeness. You must not forget your politeness in your hilarity, or
+allow yourself to "take liberties," or lose your sense of delicacy and
+propriety.</p>
+
+<p>The selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies, though any
+person may modestly propose any amusement, and ask the opinion of
+others in reference to it. The person who gives the party will
+exercise her prerogative to vary the play, that the interest may be
+kept up.</p>
+
+<p>If this were the proper place, we should enter an earnest protest
+against the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of the
+performances in some of these games, but it is not our office to
+proscribe or introduce observances, but to regulate them. No true
+gentleman will <i>abuse</i> the freedom which the laws of the game allows;
+but if required, will delicately kiss the hand, the forehead, or, at
+most, the cheek of the lady. A lady will offer her lips to be kissed
+only to a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> lover or a husband, and not to him in company. The French
+code is a good one: "Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheek
+to a friend, but keep your lips for your lover."</p>
+
+<p>Never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any of
+the company, and "pay" those which may be adjudged to you with
+cheerful promptness.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>Dancing.</i></h4>
+
+<p>An evening party is often only another name for a ball. We may have as
+many and as weighty objections to dancing, as conducted at these
+fashionable parties, as to the formal dinners and rich and late
+suppers which are in vogue in the same circles, but this is not the
+place to discuss the merits of the quadrille or the waltz, but to lay
+down the etiquette of the occasions on which they are practiced. We
+condense from the various authorities before us the following code:</p>
+
+<p>1. According to the hours now in fashion in our large cities, ten
+o'clock is quite early enough to present yourself at a dance. You will
+even then find many coming after you. In the country, you should go
+earlier.</p>
+
+<p>2. Draw on your gloves (white or yellow) in the dressing-room, and do
+not be for one moment with them off in the dancing-rooms. At supper
+take them off; nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves.</p>
+
+<p>3. When you are sure of a place in the dance, you go up to a lady and
+ask her if she will <i>do you the honor</i> to dance with you. If she
+answers that she is engaged, merely request her to name the earliest
+dance for which she is not engaged, and when she will do you the honor
+of dancing with you.</p>
+
+<p>4. If a gentleman offers to dance with a lady, she should not refuse,
+unless for some <i>particular</i> and <i>valid</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> reason, in which case she
+can accept the next offer. But if she has no further objection than a
+temporary dislike or a piece of coquetry, it is a direct insult to him
+to refuse him and accept the next offer; besides, it shows too marked
+a preference for the latter.</p>
+
+<p>5. When a woman is standing in a quadrille, though not engaged in
+dancing, a man not acquainted with her partner should not converse
+with her.</p>
+
+<p>6. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprize him of
+his error; but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving him
+a lesson.</p>
+
+<p>7. Unless a man has a very graceful figure, and can use it with great
+elegance, it is better for him to <i>walk</i> through the quadrilles, or
+invent some gliding movement for the occasion.</p>
+
+<p>8. At the end of the dance, the gentleman re-conducts the lady to her
+place, bows, and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. She
+also bows in silence.</p>
+
+<p>9. The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance. He
+should take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as
+<i>drapery</i> to the walls of the ball-room (or <i>wall flowers</i>, as the
+familiar expression is), and should see that they are invited to
+dance.</p>
+
+<p>10. Ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast before
+those who dance but little or not at all, of the great number of
+dances for which they are engaged in advance. They should also,
+without being perceived, recommend these less fortunate ladies to
+gentlemen of their acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>11. For any of the members, either sons or daughters, of the family at
+whose house the ball is given, to dance frequently or constantly,
+denotes decided ill-breeding; the ladies should not occupy those
+places in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> a quadrille which others may wish to fill, and they should,
+moreover, be at leisure to attend to the rest of the company; and the
+gentlemen should be entertaining the married women and those who do
+not dance.</p>
+
+<p>12. Never hazard taking part in a quadrille, unless you know how to
+dance tolerably; for if you are a novice, or but little skilled, you
+would bring disorder into the midst of pleasure.</p>
+
+<p>13. If you accompany your wife to a dance, be careful not to dance
+with her, except perhaps the first set.</p>
+
+<p>14. When that long and anxiously desiderated hour, the hour of supper,
+has arrived, you hand the lady you attend up or down to the
+supper-table. You remain with her while she is at the table, seeing
+that she has all that she desires, and then conduct her back to the
+dancing-rooms.</p>
+
+<p>15. A gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first set
+with her, and may afterward introduce her to a friend for the purpose
+of dancing.</p>
+
+<p>16. Ball-room introductions cease with the object&mdash;viz.: dancing; nor
+subsequently anywhere else can a gentleman approach the lady by
+salutation or in any other mode without a re-introduction of a formal
+character.</p>
+
+<p>This code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionable
+dancing parties in the city, though most of the rules should be
+adhered to in any place. The good sense of the reader will enable him
+to modify them to suit any particular occasion.</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;ANNUAL FESTIVALS.</h3>
+
+<h4><br />1. <i>Christmas.</i></h4>
+
+<p>At Christmas people give parties and make presents. In Europe, and in
+some portions of our own country,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> it is the most important festive
+occasion in the year. Beyond the religious observances of the
+Catholics, Episcopalians, and some other sects, and the universal
+custom of making presents to all our relatives and intimate friends,
+and especially to the children, there is no matter of etiquette
+peculiar to Christmas which it is necessary for us to note. We have
+already spoken of presents; and religious ceremonies will find a place
+in another chapter.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>The New Year.</i></h4>
+
+<p>In New York, and some other cities and towns which have adopted its
+customs, every gentleman is expected to call on all his lady
+acquaintances on New Year's day; and each lady on her part must be
+prepared properly to do the honors of her house. Refreshments are
+usually provided in great profusion. The etiquette of these occasions
+does not differ materially from that of ceremonious morning calls,
+except that the entire day is devoted to them, and they may be
+extended beyond the limits of one's ordinary visiting list. The ladies
+may make their calls on the next day, or any time within the week.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Thanksgiving.</i></h4>
+
+<p>This is the great family festival of New England&mdash;the season of home
+gatherings. Sons and daughters, scattered far and wide, then turn
+instinctively toward the old homestead, and the fireside of their
+childhood is again made glad by their presence and that of their
+little ones. Etiquette requires fat turkeys, well roasted, a plenty of
+<i>pumpkin pies</i>, unbounded hospitality, genuine friendliness, and
+cheerful and thankful hearts.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Birthdays.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Birthdays are sometimes made family festivals at which parties are
+given, and presents made to the one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> whose anniversary is celebrated.
+In France, these occasions are observed with great merry making and
+many felicitations and gifts.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS.</h3>
+
+<p>Picnic excursions into the country are not occasions of ceremony, but
+call for the exercise of all one's real good nature and good breeding.
+On leaving the carriage, cars, or steamboat, gentlemen should of
+course relieve the ladies they attend of the shawls, baskets, etc.,
+with which they may have provided themselves, and give them all
+necessary assistance in reaching the spot selected for the
+festivities. It is also their duty and their happiness to accompany
+them in their rambles, when it is the pleasure of the fair ones to
+require their attendance, but <i>not</i> to be <i>obtrusive</i>. They may
+sometimes wish to be alone.</p>
+
+<p>If a lady chooses to seat herself upon the ground, you are not at
+liberty to follow her example unless she invites you to be seated. She
+must not have occasion to think of the possibility of any impropriety
+on your part. You are her servant, protector, and guard of honor. You
+will of course give her your hand to assist her in rising. When the
+sylvan repast is served, you will see that the ladies whose cavalier
+you have the honor to be, lack nothing. The ladies, social queens
+though they be, should not forget that every favor or act of courtesy
+and deference, by whoever shown, demands some acknowledgment on their
+part&mdash;a word, a bow, a smile, or at least a kind look.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;WEDDINGS.</h3>
+
+<p>We copy from one of the numerous manners books before us the following
+condensed account of the usual ceremonies of a formal wedding. A
+simpler, less <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span>ceremonious, and more private mode of giving legal
+sanction to an already existing union of hearts would be more to <i>our</i>
+taste; but, as the French proverb has it, <i>Chacun &agrave; son go&ucirc;t</i>.<a name="FNanchor_K_11" id="FNanchor_K_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_K_11" class="fnanchor">[K]</a></p>
+
+<p>For a stylish wedding, the lady requires a bridegroom, two
+bridesmaids, two groomsmen, and a parson or magistrate, her relatives
+and whatever friends of both parties they may choose to invite. For a
+formal wedding in the evening, a week's notice is requisite. The lady
+fixes the day. Her mother or nearest female relation invites the
+guests. The evening hour is 8 o'clock; but if the ceremony is private,
+and the happy couple to start immediately and alone, the ceremony
+usually takes place in the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>If there is an evening party, the refreshments must be as usual on
+such occasions, with the addition of wedding cake, commonly a pound
+cake with rich frosting, and a fruit cake.</p>
+
+<p>The dress of the bride is of the purest white; her head is commonly
+dressed with orange flowers, natural or artificial, and white roses.
+She wears few ornaments, and none but such as are given her for the
+occasion. A white lace vail is often worn on the head. White long
+gloves and white satin slippers complete the costume.</p>
+
+<p>The dress of the bridegroom is simply the full dress of a gentleman,
+of unusual richness and elegance.</p>
+
+<p>The bridesmaids are dressed also in white, but more simply than the
+bride.</p>
+
+<p>At the hour appointed for the ceremony, the second bridesmaid and
+groomsman, when there are two, enter the room; then, first bridesmaid
+and groomsman; and lastly the bride and bridegroom. They enter, the
+ladies taking the arms of the gentlemen, and take seats <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>appointed, so
+that the bride is at the right of the bridegroom, and each supported
+by their respective attendants.</p>
+
+<p>A chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate in front of the
+happy pair. When he comes forward to perform the ceremony, the bridal
+party rises. The first bridesmaid, at the proper time, removes the
+glove from the left hand of the bride; or, what seems to us more
+proper, both bride and bridegroom have their gloves removed at the
+beginning of the ceremony. In joining hands they take each other's
+right hand, the bride and groom partially turning toward each other.
+The wedding ring, of plain fine gold, provided beforehand by the
+groom, is sometimes given to the clergyman, who presents it. It is
+placed upon the third finger of the left hand.</p>
+
+<p>When the ceremony is ended, and the twain are pronounced one flesh,
+the company present their congratulations&mdash;the clergyman first, then
+the mother, the father of the bride, and the relations; then the
+company, the groomsmen acting as masters of ceremonies, bringing
+forward and introducing the ladies, who wish the happy couple joy,
+happiness, prosperity; but not exactly "many happy returns."</p>
+
+<p>The bridegroom takes an early occasion to thank the clergyman, and to
+put in his hand, at the same time, nicely enveloped, a piece of gold,
+according to his ability and generosity. The gentleman who dropped two
+half dollars into the minister's hands, as they were held out, in the
+prayer, was a little confused by the occasion.</p>
+
+<p>When a dance follows the ceremony and congratulations, the bride
+dances, first, with the first groomsman, taking the head of the room
+and the quadrille, and the bridegroom with the first bridesmaid;
+afterwards as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> they please. The party breaks up early&mdash;certainly by
+twelve o'clock.<a name="FNanchor_L_12" id="FNanchor_L_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_L_12" class="fnanchor">[L]</a></p>
+
+<p>The cards of the newly married couple are sent to those only whose
+acquaintance they wish to continue. No offense should be taken by
+those whom they may choose to exclude. Send your card, therefore, with
+the lady's, to all whom you desire to include in the circle of your
+future acquaintances. The lady's card will have engraved upon it,
+below her name, "At home, &mdash;&mdash;evening, at&mdash;o'clock." They should be
+sent a week previous to the evening indicated.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VI.&mdash;FUNERALS.</h3>
+
+<p>When any member of a family is dead, it is customary to send
+intelligence of the misfortune to all who have been connected with the
+deceased in relations of business or friendship. The letters which are
+sent contain a special invitation to assist at the funeral. Such a
+letter requires no answer.</p>
+
+<p>At an interment or funeral service, the members of the family are
+entitled to the first places. They are nearest to the coffin, whether
+in the procession or in the church. The nearest relations go in a full
+mourning dress.</p>
+
+<p>We are excused from accompanying the body to the burying-ground,
+unless the deceased be a relation or an intimate friend. If we go as
+far as the burying-ground, we should give the first carriage to the
+relations or most intimate friends of the deceased. We should walk
+with the head uncovered, silently, and with such a mien as the
+occasion naturally suggests.</p>
+
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTES:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_I_9" id="Footnote_I_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_I_9"><span class="label">[I]</span></a> "Etiquette for Gentlemen."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_J_10" id="Footnote_J_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_J_10"><span class="label">[J]</span></a> Madame Celnart</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_K_11" id="Footnote_K_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_K_11"><span class="label">[K]</span></a> Each one to his taste.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_L_12" id="Footnote_L_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_L_12"><span class="label">[L]</span></a> "Manners Book."</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII.</h2>
+
+<h2>THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem medium"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i13">To ladies always yield your seat,<br /></span>
+<span class="i13">And lift your hat upon the street.&mdash;<i>Uncle Dan.</i><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;ON THE STREET.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 84px;">
+<img src="images/imgn.jpg" width="84" height="171" alt="N" title="" />
+</div><p>owhere has a man or a woman occasion more frequently to exercise the
+virtue of courtesy than on the street; and in no place is the
+distinction between the polite and the vulgar more marked. The
+following are some of the rules of street etiquette:</p>
+
+<p>Except in a case of necessity, you should not stop a business man on
+the street during business hours. He may have appointments, and, in
+any event, his time is precious. If you must speak with him, walk on
+in his direction, or if you detain him, state your errand briefly, and
+politely apologize for the detention.</p>
+
+<p>Do not allow yourself to be so absent-minded or absorbed in your
+business as not to recognize and salute your acquaintances on the
+street. You must not make the pressure of your affairs an excuse for
+rudeness. If you do not intend to stop, on meeting a friend, touch
+your hat, say "Good-morning," or "I hope you are well," and pass on.
+If you stop, you may offer a gloved hand, if necessary, without
+apology. Waiting to draw off a tight glove is awkward. In stopping to
+talk on the street, you should step aside from the human current. If
+you are compelled to detain a friend,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span> when he is walking with a
+stranger, apologize to the stranger and release your friend as soon as
+possible. The stranger will withdraw, in order not to hear your
+conversation. Never leave a friend suddenly on the street, either to
+join another or for any other reason, without a brief apology.</p>
+
+<p>In walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in age or station,
+give them the place of honor, by taking yourself the outer side of the
+pavement.</p>
+
+<p>When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted, you should lift
+your hat, as you bow to her; but unless you are intimate friends, it
+is the lady's duty to give some sign of recognition first, as she
+might <i>possibly</i> choose to "cut" you, and thus place you in a very
+awkward position; but unless you have forfeited all claims to respect,
+she certainly <i>should</i> not do such a thing.</p>
+
+<p>In meeting a gentleman whom you know, walking with a lady with whom
+you are not acquainted, you are to bow with grave respect to her
+also.<a name="FNanchor_M_13" id="FNanchor_M_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_M_13" class="fnanchor">[M]</a> If you are acquainted with both, you bow first to the lady,
+and then, less profoundly, to the gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>If your glove be dark colored, or your hand ungloved, do not offer to
+shake hands with a lady in full dress. If you wish to speak with a
+lady whom you meet on the street, turn and walk with her; but you
+should not accompany her far, except at her request, and should always
+lift your hat and bow upon withdrawing.</p>
+
+<p>Be careful to avoid intrusion everywhere; and for this reason be very
+sure that such an addition to their party would be perfectly agreeable
+before you join a lady and gentleman who may be walking together;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>
+otherwise you might find yourself in the position of an "awkward
+third."</p>
+
+<p>In walking with ladies on the street, gentlemen will of course treat
+them with the most scrupulous <i>politeness</i>. This requires that you
+place yourself in that relative position in which you can best shield
+them from danger or inconvenience. You generally give them the wall
+side, but circumstances may require you to reverse this position.</p>
+
+<p>You must offer your arm to a lady with whom you are walking whenever
+her safety, comfort, or convenience may seem to require such attention
+on your part. At night, in taking a long walk in the country, or in
+ascending the steps of a public building, your arm should always be
+tendered.</p>
+
+<p>In walking with ladies or elderly people, a gentleman must not forget
+to accommodate his speed to theirs. In walking with <i>any</i> person you
+should <i>keep step</i> with military precision.</p>
+
+<p>If a lady with whom you are walking receives the salute of a person
+who is a stranger to you, you should return it, not for yourself, but
+for her.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a shop, or <i>store</i> (if
+we must use an Americanism to explain a good English word), you should
+hold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable; for
+you must never pass before a lady anywhere, if you can avoid it, or
+without an apology.</p>
+
+<p>If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he will
+lift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If he
+can not give the information required, he will express his regrets.</p>
+
+<p>"When tripping over the pavement," Madame Celnart says, "a lady should
+gracefully raise her dress a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> little above her ankle. With her right
+hand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw them
+toward the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both
+hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can be tolerated only for a
+moment, when the mud is very deep." This was written in Paris, and not
+in New York.</p>
+
+<p>American ladies dress too richly and elaborately for the street. You
+should dress well&mdash;neatly and in good taste, and in material adapted
+to the season; but the full costume, suitable to the carriage or the
+drawing-room, is entirely out of place in a shopping excursion, and
+does not indicate a refined taste; in other words, it looks
+<i>snobbish</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or a
+mantle. Shawls are difficult to wear gracefully, and few American
+ladies wear them well. You should not drag a shawl tight to your
+shoulders, and stick out your elbows, but fold it loosely and
+gracefully, so that it may fully envelop the figure.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;SHOPPING.</h3>
+
+<p>Madame Celnart has the following hints to the ladies on this important
+subject. Having enjoined the most patient and forbearing courtesy on
+the part of the shopkeeper,<a name="FNanchor_N_14" id="FNanchor_N_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_N_14" class="fnanchor">[N]</a> she proceeds:</p>
+
+<p>"Every civility ought to be reciprocal, or nearly so. If the officious
+politeness of the shopkeeper does not require an equal return, he has
+at least a claim to civil treatment; and, finally, if this politeness
+proceed from interest, is this a reason why purchasers should add to
+the unpleasantness of his profession, and disregard <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>violating the
+laws of politeness? Many very respectable people allow themselves so
+many infractions in this particular, that I think it my duty to dwell
+upon it.</p>
+
+<p>"You should never say, <i>I want such a thing</i>, but <i>Show me, if you
+please, that article</i>, or use some other polite form of address. If
+they do not show you at first the articles you desire, and you are
+obliged to examine a great number, apologize to the shopkeeper for the
+trouble you give him. If after all you can not suit yourself, renew
+your apologies when you go away.</p>
+
+<p>"If you make small purchases, say, <i>I am sorry for having troubled you
+for so trifling a thing</i>. If you spend a considerable time in the
+selection of articles, apologize to the shopkeeper who waits for you
+to decide.</p>
+
+<p>"If the price seems to you too high, and the shop has not fixed
+prices, ask an abatement in brief and civil terms, and without ever
+appearing to suspect the good faith of the shopkeeper. If he does not
+yield, do not enter into a contest with him, but go away, after
+telling him politely that you think you can obtain the article cheaper
+elsewhere, but if not, that you will give him the preference."</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;AT CHURCH.</h3>
+
+<p>If you go to church, be in season, that you may not interrupt the
+congregation by entering after the services have commenced. The
+celebrated Mrs. Chapone said that it was a part of her religion not to
+disturb the religion of others. We may all adopt with profit that
+article of her creed. Always remove your hat on entering a church. If
+you attend ladies, you open the door of the slip for them, allowing
+them to enter first. Your demeanor should of course be such as becomes
+the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> place and occasion. If you are so unfortunate as to have no
+religious feelings yourself, you must respect those of others.</p>
+
+<p>It is the custom in some places for gentlemen who may be already in a
+slip or pew to deploy into the aisle, on the arrival of a lady who may
+desire admittance, allow her to enter, and then resume their seats.
+This is a very awkward and annoying maneuver.</p>
+
+<p>You should pay due respect to the observances of the church you
+attend. If you have conscientious scruples against kneeling in an
+Episcopal or Catholic church, you should be a little more
+conscientious, and stay away.</p>
+
+<p>Good manners do not require young gentlemen to stand about the door of
+a church to see the ladies come out; and the ladies will excuse the
+omission of this mark of admiration.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;AT PLACES OF AMUSEMENT.</h3>
+
+<p>Gentlemen who attend ladies to the opera, to concerts, to lectures,
+etc., should endeavor to go early in order to secure good seats,
+unless, indeed, they have been previously secured, and to avoid the
+disagreeable crowd which they are liable to encounter if they go a
+little later.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen <i>should</i> take off their hats on entering <i>any</i> public room
+(or dwelling either). They will, of course, do so if attending ladies,
+on showing them their seats. Having taken your seats, remain quietly
+in them, and avoid, unless absolute necessity require it, incommoding
+others by crowding out and in before them. If obliged to do this,
+politely apologize for the trouble you cause them.</p>
+
+<p>To talk during the performance is an act of rudeness<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span> and injustice.
+You thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights of
+others, who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers, and
+not for listening to you.</p>
+
+<p>If you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera, concert, or
+lecture, you should retain your seat at her side; but if you have no
+lady with you, and have taken a desirable seat, you should, if need
+be, cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady, for one less
+eligible.</p>
+
+<p>Be careful to secure your <i>libretto</i> or opera book, concert bill or
+programme, before taking your seat.</p>
+
+<p>To the opera, ladies should wear opera hoods, which are to be taken
+off on entering. In this country, custom <i>permits</i> the wearing of
+bonnets; but as they are (in our opinion) neither comfortable nor
+beautiful, we advise the ladies to dispense with their use whenever
+they can.</p>
+
+<p>Gloves should be worn by ladies in church, and in places of public
+amusement. Do not take them off to shake hands. Great care should be
+taken that they are well made and fit neatly.</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;IN A PICTURE GALLERY.</h3>
+
+<p>A gallery of paintings or sculpture is a temple of Art, and he is
+little better than a barbarian who can enter it without a feeling of
+reverence for the presiding divinity of the place. Loud talking,
+laughing, pushing before others who are examining a picture or statue,
+moving seats noisily, or any rude or discourteous conduct, seems like
+profanation in such a place. Avoid them by all means, we entreat you;
+and though you wear your hat everywhere else, reverently remove it
+here.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+<h3>VI.&mdash;THE PRESENCE.</h3>
+
+<p>"The mode in which respect to the presence of a human being should be
+shown maybe left to custom. In the East, men take off their shoes
+before entering an apartment. We take off the hat, and add a verbal
+salutation. The mode is unimportant; it may vary with the humor of the
+moment; it may change with the changing fashion; but no one who
+respects himself, and has a proper regard for others, will omit to
+give <i>some</i> sign that he recognizes an essential difference between a
+horse and a man, between a stable and a house."<a name="FNanchor_O_15" id="FNanchor_O_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_O_15" class="fnanchor">[O]</a></p>
+
+
+<h3>VII.&mdash;&shy;TRAVELING.</h3>
+
+<p>Under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded, or rudeness
+more frequently displayed, than in traveling. The infelicities and
+vexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all the
+latent selfishness of one's nature; and the commonest observances of
+politeness are, we are sorry to say, sometimes neglected. In the
+scramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at a
+public table, good manners are too frequently elbowed aside and
+trampled under foot. Even our national deference for women is
+occasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway cars
+or the steamer.</p>
+
+<p>To avoid the scramble we have alluded to, purchase tickets and secure
+state-rooms in advance, if practicable, especially if you are
+accompanied by ladies, and, in any event, <i>be in good time</i>.</p>
+
+<p>In the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personal
+comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment the
+rights of your fellow-travelers,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> or forget the respectful courtesy
+due to woman. The pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to the
+ladies, and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them with
+a cheerful politeness. In a stage-coach you give them the back seat,
+unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself, if their
+convenience requires it. But a word to&mdash;<i>Americans</i> will be enough on
+this point.</p>
+
+<p>And what do good manners require of the ladies? That which is but a
+little thing to the bestower, but of priceless value to the
+receiver&mdash;<i>thanks</i>&mdash;a smile&mdash;a grateful look at least. Is this too
+much?</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Arbiter, whom we find quoted in a newspaper, has some rather
+severe strictures on the conduct of American ladies. He says:</p>
+
+<p>"We boast of our politeness as a nation, and point out to foreigners,
+with pride, the alacrity with which Americans make way for women in
+all public places. Some love to call this chivalry. It is certainly an
+amiable trait of character, though frequently carried to an absurd
+extent. But what the men possess in this form of politeness the women
+appear to have lost. They never think of acknowledging, in any way,
+the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat, but settle
+themselves triumphantly in their new places, as if they were entitled
+to them by divine right."</p>
+
+<p>We are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance of
+truth in this charge. We have had constant opportunities to observe
+the behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowded
+ferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and their
+suburbs. We have, of course (as what gentleman has not?), relinquished
+our seats hundreds of times to ladies. <i>For the occasional bow or
+smile of acknowledgment, or</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span> <i>pleasant "Thank you," which we have
+received in return, we have almost invariably been indebted to some
+fair foreigner.</i></p>
+
+<p>We believe that American ladies are as polite <i>at heart</i> as those of
+any other nation, but <i>they do not say it</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The fair readers of our little book will, we are sure, excuse us for
+these hints, since they are dictated by the truest and most reverent
+love for their sex, and a sincere desire to serve them.</p>
+
+<p>If in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid, or an
+aged person, or a woman with children and without a male protector,
+feelings of humanity, as well as sentiments of politeness, will
+dictate such kind attentions as, without being obtrusive, you can find
+occasion to bestow.</p>
+
+<p>You have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation, if the
+current of air thus produced annoy or endanger the health of another.
+There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best,
+and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them as much as
+possible, and to cheerfully bear his own part. Life is a journey, and
+we are all fellow-travelers.</p>
+
+<p>If in riding in an omnibus, or crossing a ferry with a friend, he
+wishes to pay for you, never insist on paying for yourself or for
+both. If he is before you, let the matter pass without remark, and
+return the compliment on another occasion.</p>
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTES:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_M_13" id="Footnote_M_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_M_13"><span class="label">[M]</span></a> "Colonel Lunettes"</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_N_14" id="Footnote_N_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_N_14"><span class="label">[N]</span></a> For hints on the importance of politeness as an element
+of success in business, see "How to Do Business."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_O_15" id="Footnote_O_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_O_15"><span class="label">[O]</span></a> James Parton.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX.</h2>
+
+<h2>LOVE AND COURTSHIP.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem medium"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i14">Learn to win a lady's faith<br /></span>
+<span class="i15">Nobly, as the thing is high;<br /></span>
+<span class="i14">Bravely, as for life and death,<br /></span>
+<span class="i15">With a loyal gravity.<br /></span>
+<span class="i14">Lead her from the festive boards;<br /></span>
+<span class="i15">Point her to the starry skies;<br /></span>
+<span class="i14">Guard her by your truthful words<br /></span>
+<span class="i15">Pure from courtship's flatteries.&mdash;<i>Mrs. Browning.</i><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;A HINT OR TWO.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 75px;">
+<img src="images/imgt.jpg" width="75" height="168" alt="T" title="" />
+</div><p>o treat the subject of love and courtship in all its bearings would
+require a volume. It is with the etiquette of the tender passion that
+we have to do here. A few preliminary hints, however, will not be
+deemed out of place.</p>
+
+<p>Boys often fall in love (and girls too, we believe) at a very tender
+age. Some charming cousin, or a classmate of his sister, in the
+village school, weaves silken meshes around the throbbing heart of the
+young man in his teens. This is well. He is made better and happier by
+his boyish loves&mdash;for he generally has a succession of them, but they
+are seldom permanent. They are only beautiful foreshadowings of the
+deeper and more earnest love of manhood, which is to bind him to his
+<i>other self</i> with ties which only death can sever. Read Ik Marvel's
+"Dream Life."</p>
+
+<p>Before a young man has reached the proper age to marry&mdash;say
+twenty-five, as an average&mdash;he ought to have acquired such a knowledge
+of himself, physically and mentally considered, and of the principles
+which ought to decide the choice of matrimonial partners and govern
+the relations of the sexes, as will enable him to set up<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> a proper
+standard of female excellence, and to determine what qualities,
+physical and mental, should characterize the woman who is to be the
+angel of his home and the mother of his children. With this knowledge
+he is prepared to go into society and choose his mate, following
+trustingly the attractions of his soul. Love is an affair of the
+heart, but the head should be its privy counselor.</p>
+
+<p>Do not make up your mind to wait till you have acquired a fortune
+before you marry. You should not, however, assume the responsibilities
+of a family without a reasonable prospect of being able to maintain
+one. If you are established in business, or have an adequate income
+for the immediate requirements of the new relation, you may safely
+trust your own energy and self-reliance for the rest.</p>
+
+<p>Women reach maturity earlier than men, and may marry earlier&mdash;say (as
+an average age), at twenty. The injunction, "Know thyself," applies
+with as much emphasis to a woman as to a man. Her perceptions are
+keener than ours, and her sensibilities finer, and she may trust more
+to <i>instinct</i>, but she should add to these natural qualifications a
+thorough knowledge of her own physical and mental constitution, and of
+whatever relates to the requirements of her destiny as wife and
+mother. The importance of sound <i>health</i> and <i>a perfect development</i>,
+can not be overrated. <i>Without these you are</i> <span class="smcap">NEVER</span> <i>fit to marry</i>.<a name="FNanchor_P_16" id="FNanchor_P_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_P_16" class="fnanchor">[P]</a></p>
+
+<p>Having satisfied yourself that you really love a woman&mdash;be careful, as
+you value your future happiness and hers, not to make a <i>mistake</i> in
+this matter&mdash;you will find occasion to manifest, in a thousand ways,
+your <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>preference, by means of those tender but delicate and
+deferential attentions which love always prompts. "Let the heart
+speak." The heart you address will understand its language. Be
+earnest, sincere, self-loyal, and manly in this matter above all
+others. Let there be no nauseous flattery and no sickly sentimentality
+Leave the former to fops and the latter to beardless school-boys.</p>
+
+<p>Though women do not "propose"&mdash;that is, as a general rule&mdash;they "make
+love" to the men none the less; and it is right. The divine attraction
+is mutual, and should have its proper expression on both sides. If you
+are attracted toward a man who seems to you an embodiment of all that
+is noble and manly, you do injustice both to him and yourself if you
+do not, in some way entirely consistent with maiden modesty, allow him
+to <i>see</i> and <i>feel</i> that he pleases you. But <i>you</i> do not need our
+instructions, and we will only hint, in conclusion, that forwardness,
+flirting, and a too <i>obtrusive</i> manifestation of preference are <i>not</i>
+agreeable to men of sense. As a man should be <i>manly</i>, so should a
+woman be <i>womanly</i> in her love.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;OBSERVANCES.</h3>
+
+<h4><br />1. <i>Particular Attentions.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Avoid even the slightest appearance of <i>trifling</i> with the feelings of
+a woman. A female coquette is bad enough. A male coquette ought to be
+banished from society. Let there be a clearly perceived, if not an
+easily defined, distinction between the attentions of common courtesy
+or of friendship and those of love. All misunderstanding on this point
+can and must be avoided.</p>
+
+<p>The particular attentions you pay to the object of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> your devotion
+should not make you rude or uncivil to other women. Every woman is
+<i>her</i> sister, and should be treated with becoming respect and
+attention. Your special attentions to her in society should not be
+such as to make her or you the subject of ridicule. Make no public
+exhibition of your endearments.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Presents.</i></h4>
+
+<p>If you make presents, let them be selected with good taste, and of
+such cost as is fully warranted by your means. Your mistress will not
+love you better for any extravagance in this matter. The value of a
+gift is not to be estimated in dollars and cents. A lady of good sense
+and delicacy will discourage in her lover all needless expenditure in
+ministering to her gratification, or in proof of his devotion.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Confidants.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their affairs of
+the heart. In general, they should be of the opposite sex. A young man
+may with profit open his heart to his mother, an elder sister, or a
+female friend considerably older than himself. The young lady may with
+equal advantage make a brother, an uncle, or some good middle-aged
+married man the repository of her love secrets, her hopes, and her
+fears.</p>
+
+<h4>4. <i>Declarations.</i></h4>
+
+<p>We shall make no attempt to prescribe a form for "popping the
+question." Each must do it in his own way; but let it be clearly
+understood and admit no evasion. A single word&mdash;yes, less than that,
+on the lady's part, will suffice to answer it. If the carefully
+studied phrases which you have repeated so many times and so fluently
+to yourself, will persist in sticking in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> your throat and choking you,
+put them correctly and neatly on a sheet of the finest white note
+paper, inclosed in a fine but plain white envelope (see "How to
+Write"), seal it handsomely with <i>wax</i>, address and direct it
+carefully, and find some way to convey it to her hand. The lady's
+answer should be frank and unequivocal, revealing briefly and modestly
+her real feelings and consequent decision.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Asking "Pa."</i></h4>
+
+<p>Asking the consent of parents or guardians is, in this country, where
+women claim a right to choose for themselves, a mere form, and may
+often be dispensed with. The lady's wishes, however, should be
+complied with in this as in all other matters. And if consent is
+refused? This will rarely happen. If it does, there is a remedy, and
+we should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the woman
+who would hesitate to apply it. If she is of age, she has a legal as
+well as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom she
+pleases. If she does not love you well enough to do this, <i>at any
+sacrifice</i>, you should consider the refusal of her friends a very
+fortunate occurrence. If she is not of age, the legal aspect of the
+affair may be different, but, at worst, she can wait until her
+majority puts her in possession of all her rights.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>Refusals.</i></h4>
+
+<p>If a lady finds it necessary to say "no" to a proposal, she should do
+it in the kindest and most considerate manner, so as not to inflict
+unnecessary pain; but her answer should be definite and decisive, and
+the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit. If ladies will my "no"
+when they mean "yes," to a sincere and earnest suitor, they must
+suffer the consequences.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+<h4>7. <i>Engagement.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The "engaged" need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of
+the relation in which they stand to each other, neither should they
+attempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each other
+should be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct in
+reference to other persons of the opposite sex, such as will not give
+occasion for a single pang of jealousy.</p>
+
+<p>Of the "getting ready," which follows the engagement, on the part of
+the lady, our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tell
+them.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>Breaking Off.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directions
+contained in the first section of this chapter, will seldom be broken
+off. If such a painful <i>necessity</i> occurs, let it be met with
+firmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a <i>mistake</i>, it is
+infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A
+<i>marriage</i> is not so easily "broken off."</p>
+
+<p>On breaking off an engagement, all letters, presents, etc., should be
+returned, and both parties should consider themselves pledged to the
+most honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter,
+and to the private affairs of each other, a knowledge of which their
+former relation may have put into their possession.</p>
+
+
+<h4>9. <i>Marriage.</i></h4>
+
+<p>It devolves upon the lady to fix the day. She will hardly disregard
+the stereotyped request of the impatient lover to make it an "early"
+one; but she knows best how soon the never-to-be-neglected
+"preparations" can be made. For the wedding ceremonies see <a href="#VII">Chapter
+VII</a>. A few hints to husbands and wives may be found in <a href="#V">Chapter V</a>.</p>
+
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTE:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_P_16" id="Footnote_P_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_P_16"><span class="label">[P]</span></a> See "Physical Perfection; or How to Acquire and Retain
+Beauty, Grace, and Strength," now (1857) in the course of
+preparation.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X.</h2>
+
+<h2>PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>The object of a meeting for deliberation is, of course, to
+obtain a free expression of opinion and a fair decision of the
+questions discussed. Without rules of order this object would,
+in most cases, be utterly defeated; for there would be no
+uniformity in the modes of proceeding, no restraint upon
+indecorous or disorderly conduct, no protection to the rights
+and privileges of members, no guarantee against the caprices
+and usurpations of the presiding officer, no safeguard against
+tyrannical majorities, nor any suitable regard to the rights of
+the minority.&mdash;<i>McElligott.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;COURTESY IN DEBATE.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 75px;">
+<img src="images/imgt.jpg" width="75" height="168" alt="T" title="" />
+</div><p>he fundamental principles of courtesy, so strenuously insisted upon
+throughout this work, must be rigorously observed in the debating
+society, lyceum, legislative assembly, and wherever questions are
+publicly debated. In fact, we have not yet discovered <i>any</i> occasion
+on which a gentleman is justified in being anything less than&mdash;a
+gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>In a paragraph appended to the constitution and by-laws of a New York
+debating club, members are enjoined to treat each other with delicacy
+and respect, conduct all discussions with candor, moderation, and open
+generosity, avoid all personal allusions and sarcastic language
+calculated to wound the feelings of a brother, and cherish concord and
+good fellowship. The spirit of this injunction should pervade the
+heart of every man who attempts to take part in the proceedings of any
+deliberative assembly.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;ORIGIN OF THE PARLIAMENTARY CODE.</h3>
+
+<p>The rules of order of our State Legislatures, and of other less
+important deliberative bodies, are, in almost all fundamental points,
+the same as those of the National<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span> Congress, which, again, are
+derived, in the main, from those of the British Parliament, the
+differences which exist growing out of differences in government and
+institutions. It is in allusion to its origin that the code of rules
+and regulations thus generally adopted is often called "The Common
+Code of Parliamentary Law."</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;RULES OF ORDER.</h3>
+
+<h4><br />1. <i>Motions.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A deliberative body being duly organized, motions are in order. The
+party moving a resolution, or making a motion in its simplest form,
+introduces it either with or without remarks, by saying: "Mr.
+President, I beg leave to offer the following resolution," or "I move
+that," etc. A motion is not debatable till seconded. The member
+seconding simply says: "I second that motion." The resolution or
+motion is then stated by the chairman, and is open for debate.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>Speaking.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A member wishing to speak on a question, resolution, or motion, must
+rise in his place and respectfully address his remarks to the chairman
+or president, <i>confining himself to the question, and avoiding
+personality</i>. Should more than one member rise at the same time, the
+chairman must decide which is entitled to the floor. No member must
+speak more than once till every member wishing to speak shall have
+spoken. In debating societies (and it is for their benefit that we
+make this abstract) it is necessary to define not only how many times,
+but how long at each time a member may speak on a question.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Submitting a Question.</i></h4>
+
+<p>When the debate or deliberation upon a subject <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span>appears to be at a
+close, the presiding officer simply asks, "Is the society [assembly,
+or whatever the body may be] ready for the question?" or, "Are you
+ready for the question?" If no one signifies a desire further to
+discuss or consider the subject, he then submits the question in due
+form.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Voting.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The voting is generally by "ayes and noes," and the answers on both
+sides being duly given, the presiding officer announces the result,
+saying, "The ayes have it," or, "The noes have it," according as he
+finds one side or the other in the majority. If there is a doubt in
+his mind which side has the larger number, he says, "The ayes <i>appear</i>
+to have it," or, "The noes <i>appear</i> to have it," as the case may be.
+If there is no dissent, he adds, "The ayes <i>have</i> it," or, "The noes
+<i>have</i> it." But should the president be unable to decide, or if his
+decision be questioned, and a division of the house be called for, it
+is his duty immediately to divide or arrange the assembly as to allow
+the votes on each side to be accurately counted; and if the members
+are equally divided, the president must give the casting vote. It is
+the duty of every member to vote; but in some deliberative bodies a
+member may be excused at his own request. Sometimes it is deemed
+advisable to record the names of members in connection with the votes
+they give, in which case the roll is called by the secretary, and each
+answers "yes" or "no," which is noted or marked opposite his name.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>A Quorum.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A quorum is such a number of members as may be required, by rule or
+statute, to be present at a meeting in order to render its
+transactions valid or legal.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p>
+<h4>6. <i>The Democratic Principle.</i></h4>
+
+<p>All questions, unless their decision be otherwise fixed by law, are
+determined by a majority of votes.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>Privileged Questions.</i></h4>
+
+<p>There are certain motions which are allowed to supersede a question
+already under debate. These are called privileged questions. The
+following are the usually recognized privileged questions:</p>
+
+<p>1. <i>Adjournment.</i>&mdash;A motion to adjourn is always in order, and takes
+precedence of all others; but it must not be entertained while a
+member is speaking, unless he give way for that purpose, nor while a
+vote is in progress. It is not debatable, and can not be amended.</p>
+
+<p>2. <i>To Lie on the Table.</i>&mdash;A motion to lay a subject on the
+table&mdash;that is, to set it aside till it is the pleasure of the body to
+resume its consideration&mdash;generally takes precedence of all others,
+except the motion to adjourn. It can neither be debated nor amended.</p>
+
+<p>3. <i>The Previous Question.</i>&mdash;The intention of the previous question is
+to arrest discussion and test at once the sense of the meeting. Its
+form is, "Shall the main question now be put?" It is not debatable,
+and can not be amended. An affirmative decision precludes all further
+debate on the main question. The effect of a negative decision,
+<i>unless otherwise determined by a special rule</i>, is to leave the main
+question and all amendments just as it found them.</p>
+
+<p>4. <i>Postponement.</i>&mdash;A motion to postpone the consideration of a
+question indefinitely, which is equivalent to setting it aside
+altogether, may be amended by inserting a certain day. It is not
+debatable.</p>
+
+<p>5. <i>Commitment.</i>&mdash;A motion to commit is made when a question,
+otherwise admissible, is presented in an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> objectionable or
+inconvenient form. If there be no standing committee to which it can
+be properly submitted, a select committee may be raised for the
+purpose. It may be amended.</p>
+
+<p>6. <i>Amendment.</i>&mdash;The legitimate use of a motion to amend is to correct
+or improve the original motion or resolution; but a motion properly
+before an assembly may be altered in <i>any</i> way; even so as to turn it
+entirely from its original purpose, unless some rule or law shall
+exist to prevent this subversion. An amendment may be amended, but
+here the process must cease. An amendment must of course be put to
+vote before the original question. A motion to amend holds the same
+rank as the previous question and indefinite postponement, and that
+which is moved first must be put first. It may be superseded, however,
+by a motion to postpone to a certain day, or a motion to commit.</p>
+
+<p>7. <i>Orders of the Day.</i>&mdash;Subjects appointed for a specified time are
+called orders of the day, and a motion for them takes precedence of
+all other business, except a motion to adjourn, or a question of
+privilege.</p>
+
+<p>8. <i>Questions of Privilege.</i>&mdash;These are questions which involve the
+rights and privileges of individual members, or of the society or
+assembly collectively. They take precedence over all other
+propositions, except a motion to adjourn.</p>
+
+<p>9. <i>Questions of Order.</i>&mdash;In case of any breach of the rules of the
+society or body, any member may rise to the point of order, and insist
+upon its due enforcement; but in case of a difference of opinion
+whether a rule has been violated or not, the question must be
+determined before the application of the rule can be insisted upon.
+Such a question is usually decided upon by the presiding officer,
+without debate; but any member may<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> appeal from his decision, and
+demand a vote of the house on the matter. A question of order is
+debatable, and the presiding officer, contrary to rule in other cases,
+may participate in the discussion.</p>
+
+<p>10. <i>Reading of Papers.</i>&mdash;When papers or documents of any kind are
+laid before a deliberative assembly, every member has a right to have
+them read before he can be required to vote upon them. They are
+generally read by the secretary, on the reading being called for,
+without the formality of a vote.</p>
+
+<p>11. <i>Withdrawal of a Motion.</i>&mdash;Unless there be a rule to that effect,
+a motion once before the assembly can not be withdrawn without a vote
+of the house, on a motion to allow its withdrawal.</p>
+
+<p>12. <i>The Suspension of Rules.</i>&mdash;When anything is proposed which is
+forbidden by a special rule, it must be preceded by a motion for the
+suspension of the rule, which, if there be no standing rule to the
+contrary, may be carried by a majority of votes; but most deliberative
+bodies have an established rule on this subject, requiring a fixed
+proportion of the votes&mdash;usually two thirds.</p>
+
+<p>13. <i>The Motion to Reconsider.</i>&mdash;The intention of this is to enable an
+assembly to revise a decision found to be erroneous. The time within
+which a motion to reconsider may be entertained is generally fixed by
+a special rule; and the general rule is, that it must emanate from
+some member who voted with the majority. In Congress, a motion to
+reconsider takes precedence of all other motions, except the motion to
+adjourn.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>Order of Business.</i></h4>
+
+<p>In all permanently organized bodies there should be an order of
+business, established by a special rule or by-law; but where no such
+rule or law exists, the president, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>unless otherwise directed by a
+vote of the assembly, arranges the business in such order as he may
+think most desirable. The following is the order of business of the
+New York Debating Club, referred to in a previous section. It may be
+easily so modified as to be suitable for any similar society:</p>
+
+<div style="margin-left: 7%;">
+<ol style="list-style-type: decimal">
+<li>Call to order.</li>
+<li>Calling the roll.</li>
+<li>Reading the minutes of previous meeting.</li>
+<li>Propositions for membership.</li>
+<li>Reports of special committee.</li>
+<li>Balloting for candidates.</li>
+<li>Reports of standing committee.</li>
+<li>Secretary's report.</li>
+<li>Treasurer's report.</li>
+<li>Reading for the evening.</li>
+<li>Recitations for the evening.</li>
+<li>Candidates initiated.</li>
+<li>Unfinished business.</li>
+<li>Debate.</li>
+<li>New business.</li>
+<li>Adjournment.</li>
+</ol>
+</div>
+
+
+<h4>9. <i>Order of Debate.</i></h4>
+
+<p>1. A member having got the floor, is entitled to be heard to the end,
+or till the time fixed by rule has expired; and all interruptions,
+except a call to order, are not only out of order, but rude in the
+extreme.</p>
+
+<p>2. A member who temporarily yields the floor to another, is generally
+permitted to resume as soon as the interruption ceases, but he can not
+claim to do so as a right.</p>
+
+<p>3. It is neither in order nor in good taste to designate members by
+name in debate, and they must in no case<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> be directly addressed. Such
+forms as, "The gentleman who has just taken his seat," or, "The member
+on the other side of the house," etc., may be made use of to designate
+persons.</p>
+
+<p>4. Every speaker is bound to confine himself to the question. This
+rule is, however, very liberally interpreted in most deliberative
+assemblies.</p>
+
+<p>5. Every speaker is bound to avoid personalities, and to exercise in
+all respects a courteous and gentlemanly deportment. Principles and
+measures are to be discussed, and not the motives or character of
+those who advocate them.<a name="FNanchor_Q_17" id="FNanchor_Q_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_Q_17" class="fnanchor">[Q]</a></p>
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTE:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_Q_17" id="Footnote_Q_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_Q_17"><span class="label">[Q]</span></a> The foregoing rules of order have been mainly condensed
+from that excellent work, "The American Debater," by James N.
+McElligott, LL.D., to which the reader is referred for a complete
+exposition of the whole subject of debating. Published by Ivison and
+Phinney, New York, and for sale by Fowler and Wells.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI.</h2>
+
+<h2>MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>These, some will say, are little things. It is true, they are
+little but it is equally clear that they are necessary
+things.&mdash;<i>Chesterfield.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;REPUBLICAN DISTINCTIONS.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 87px;">
+<img src="images/imgw.jpg" width="87" height="178" alt="W" title="" />
+</div><p>e have defined equality in another place. We fully accept the
+doctrine as there set forth. We have no respect for mere conventional
+and arbitrary distinctions. Hereditary titles command no deference
+from us. Lords and dukes are entitled to no respect simply because
+they are lords and dukes. If they are really <i>noble men</i>, we honor
+them accordingly. Their titles are mere social fictions.</p>
+
+<p>True republicanism requires that every man shall have an equal
+chance&mdash;that every man shall be free to become as unequal as he can.
+No man should be valued the less or the more on account of his
+grandfather, his position, his possessions, or his occupation. The <span class="smcap">MAN</span>
+should be superior to the accidents of his birth, and should take that
+rank which is due to his merit.<a name="FNanchor_R_18" id="FNanchor_R_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_R_18" class="fnanchor">[R]</a></p>
+
+<p>The error committed by our professedly republican communities
+consists, not in the recognition of classes and grades of rank, but in
+placing them, as they too often do, on artificial and not on natural
+grounds. We have had frequent occasion, in the preceding pages, to
+speak of superiors and inferiors. We fully recognize <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span>the relation
+which these words indicate. It is useless to quarrel with Nature, who
+has nowhere in the universe given us an example of the absolute,
+unqualified, dead-level equality which some pseudo-reformers have
+vainly endeavored to institute among men. Such leveling is neither
+possible nor desirable. Harmony is born of difference, and not of
+sameness.</p>
+
+<p>We have in our country a class of toad-eaters who delight in paying
+the most obsequious homage to fictitious rank of every kind. A vulgar
+millionaire of the Fifth Avenue, and a foreign adventurer with a
+meaningless title, are equally objects of their misplaced deference.
+Losing sight of their own manhood and self-respect, they descend to
+the most degrading sycophancy. We have little hope of benefiting them.
+They are "joined to their idols; let them alone."</p>
+
+<p>But a much larger class of our people are inclined to go to the
+opposite extreme, and ignore veneration, in its human aspect,
+altogether. They have no reverence for anybody or anything. This class
+of people will read our book, and, we trust, profit by its well-meant
+hints. We respect them, though we can not always commend their
+manners. They have independence and manliness, but fail to accord due
+respect to the manhood of others. It is for their special benefit that
+we leave touched with considerable emphasis on the deference due to
+age and <i>genuine</i> rank, from whatever source derived.</p>
+
+<p>Your townsman, Mr. Dollarmark, has no claim on you for any special
+token of respect, simply because he inherited half a million, which
+has grown in his hands to a million and a half, while you can not
+count half a thousand, or because he lives in his own palatial
+mansion, and you in a hired cottage; but your neighbor,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> Mr. Anvil,
+who, setting out in life, like yourself, without a penny, has amassed
+a little fortune by his own unaided exertions, and secured a high
+social position by his manliness, integrity, and good breeding, is
+entitled to a certain deference on your part&mdash;a recognition of his
+merits and his superiority. Mr. Savant, who has gained distinction for
+himself and conferred honor on his country by his scientific
+discoveries, and your aged friend Mr. Goodman, who, though a stranger
+to both wealth and fame, is drawing toward the close of a long and
+useful life, during which he has helped to build up and give character
+to the place in which he lives, have, each in his own way, <i>earned</i>
+the right to some token of deference from those who have not yet
+reached an equally elevated position.</p>
+
+<p>It is not for birth, or wealth, or occupation, or any other accidental
+circumstance, that we ask reverence, but for <i>inherent nobility
+wrought out in life</i>. This is what should give men rank and titles in
+a republic.</p>
+
+<p>Your hired man, Patrick, may be your inferior, but it is not because
+he is your hired man. Another man, who is your <i>superior</i> in every
+way, may stand in the same business relation to you. He may sell you
+certain stipulated services for a stipulated amount of money; but you
+bargain for no deference that your real social position and character
+do not call for from him. He, and not you, may be entitled to the
+"wall side," and to precedence everywhere.</p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;CITY AND COUNTRY.</h3>
+
+<p>The words <i>civil</i> and <i>civilized</i> are derived from the Latin <i>civitas</i>
+(Ital., <i>citt&agrave;</i>), a city, and <i>polite</i>, from the Greek <i>&#960;&#959;&#955;&#953;&#962;</i>
+(<i>polis</i>), a city; because cities are the first to become civilized,
+or <i>civil</i>, and polite, or <i>polished</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span> (Latin, <i>polire</i>). They are
+still, as a general rule, the home of the most highly cultivated
+people, as well as of the rudest and most degraded, and unquestioned
+arbiters of fashion and social observances. For this reason the rules
+of etiquette laid down in this and all other works on the subject of
+manners, are calculated, as the astronomers say, for the meridian of
+the city. The observances of the country are borrowed from the city,
+and modified to suit the social condition and wants of the different
+localities. This must always be borne in mind, and your behavior
+regulated accordingly. The white or pale yellow gloves, which you must
+wear during the whole evening at a fashionable evening party in the
+city, under pain of being set down as unbearably vulgar, would be very
+absurd appendages at a social gathering at a farm-house in the
+country. None but a <i>snob</i> would wear them at such a place. So with
+other things.</p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;IMPORTED MANNERS.</h3>
+
+<p>N. P. Willis says, "We should be glad to see a distinctly American
+school of good manners, in which all useless etiquette were thrown
+aside, but every politeness adopted or invented which could promote
+sensible and easy exchanges of good-will and sociability. Good sense
+and consideration for others should be the basis of every usage of
+polite life that is worth regarding. Indeed, we have long thought that
+our country was old enough to adopt measures and etiquettes of its
+own, based, like all other politeness, upon benevolence and common
+sense. To get rid of imported etiquette is the first thing to do for
+American politeness."</p>
+
+<p>This is an important truth well stated. We have had enough of mere
+imported conventionalism in manners. Our usages should not be English
+or French usages,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> further than English and French usages are founded
+on universal principles. Politeness is the same everywhere and always,
+but the forms of etiquette must change with times and places; for an
+observance which may be proper and useful in London or Paris, may be
+abundantly absurd in New York.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;FICTITIOUS TITLES.</h3>
+
+<p>In answer to a correspondent who inquires whether an American citizen
+should address a European nobleman by his title, <i>Life Illustrated</i>
+says:</p>
+
+<p>"We answer, unhesitatingly, No. Most of the European titles are purely
+fictitious, as well as ridiculous. The Duke of Northumberland, for
+example, has nothing in particular to do with Northumberland, nor does
+he exercise dukeship (or leadership) over anything except his private
+estate. The title is a perfect absurdity; it means nothing whatever;
+it is a mere nickname; and Mr. Percy is a fool for permitting himself
+to be addressed as 'My Lord Duke,' and 'Your Grace.' Indeed, even in
+England, gentlemen use those titles very sparingly, and servants alone
+habitually employ then. American citizens who are thrown, in their
+travels, or in their intercourse with society, into communication with
+persons bearing titles, may treat them with all due respect without
+Gracing or My-Lording them. In our opinion, they should do so. And we
+have faith enough in the good sense of the English people to believe
+that the next generation, or the next but one, will see a general
+abandonment of fictitious titles by the voluntary action of the very
+people who hold them. At the same time, we are inclined to think that
+the bestowment of real titles&mdash;titles which mean something, titles
+given in recognition of distinguished worth and eminent services,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>
+titles not hereditary&mdash;will be one of the most cherished prerogatives
+of the enlightened states of the good time coming. The first step,
+however, must be the total abolition of all titles which are
+fictitious and hereditary."</p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;A MIRROR FOR CERTAIN MEN.</h3>
+
+<p>The following rather broad hints to certain bipeds who <i>ought</i> to be
+gentlemen, were clipped from some newspaper. We are sorry we do not
+know to whom to credit the article:</p>
+
+<p>"Who can tell why women are expected, on pain of censure and
+avoidance, to conform to a high standard of behavior, while men are
+indulged in another a great deal lower? We never could fully
+understand why men should be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco, in
+smoking and in spitting everywhere almost, and at all times, whereas a
+woman can not do any of these things without exciting aversion and
+disgust. Why ought a man to be allowedly so self-indulgent, putting
+his limbs and person in all manner of attitudes, however uncouth and
+distasteful, merely because such vulgarities yield him temporary
+eases, while a woman is always required to preserve an attitude, if
+not of positive grace, at least of decency and propriety, from which
+if she departs, though but for an instant, she forfeits respect, and
+is instantly branded as a low creature!</p>
+
+<p>"Can any one say why a man when he has the tooth-ache, or is called to
+suffer in any other way, should be permitted, as a matter of course,
+to groan and bellow, and vent his feelings very much in the style of
+an animal not endowed with reason, while a woman similarly suffering
+must bear it in silence and decorum? Why, should men, as a class,
+habitually, and as a matter of right, boldly wear the coarsest
+qualities of human <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>nature on the outside, and swear and fight, and
+beastify themselves, so that they are obliged to be put into separate
+pens in the cars on railroads, and at the d&eacute;p&ocirc;ts, while woman must
+appear with an agreeable countenance, if not in smiles, even when the
+head, or perhaps the heart, aches, and are expected to permit nothing
+ill-tempered, disagreeable, or even unhappy to appear outwardly, but
+to keep all these concealed in their own bosoms to suffer as they may,
+lest they might otherwise lessen the cheerfulness of others?</p>
+
+<p>"These are a few suggestions only among many we would hint to the
+stronger and more exciting sex to be reflected on for the improvement
+of their tastes and manners. In the mirror thus held up before them,
+they can not avoid observing the very different standards by which the
+behavior of the two sexes is constantly regulated. If any reason can
+be assigned why one should always be a lady, and the other hardly ever
+a gentleman, we hope it will be done."</p>
+
+
+<h3>VI.&mdash;WASHINGTON'S CODE OF MANNERS.</h3>
+
+<p>Every action ought to be with some sign of respect to those present.
+Be no flatterer; neither play with any one who delights not to be
+played with. Read no paper or book in company. Come not near the
+papers or books of another when he is writing. Let your countenance be
+cheerful; but in serious matters be grave. Let your discourse with
+others, on matters of business, be short. It is good manners to let
+others speak first. When a man does all he can, do not blame him,
+though he succeeds not well. Take admonitions thankfully. Be not too
+hasty to receive lying reports to the injury of another. Let your
+dress be modest, and consult your condition. <i>Play not the peacock by</i>
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>
+<i>looking vainly at yourself.</i> It is better to be alone than in bad
+company. Let your conversation be without malice or envy. Urge not
+your friend to discover a secret. Break not a jest where none take
+pleasure in mirth. Gaze not on the blemishes of others. When another
+speaks, be attentive.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VII.&mdash;MARKED PASSAGES.</h3>
+
+<p>On turning over the leaves of the various works on etiquette which we
+have had occasion to consult in the preparation of this little manual,
+we have marked with our pencil a large number of passages which seemed
+to us to embody important facts or thoughts, with the hope of being
+able to weave them into our work, each in its appropriate place. Some
+of them we have made use of according to our original intention; a few
+others not elsewhere used, we purpose to throw together here without
+any attempt at classification.</p>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>Our Social Uniform.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The universal partiality of our countrymen for <i>black</i>, as the color
+of dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners.
+Among the best dressed men on the Continent, as well as in England,
+black, through not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use
+than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown, and green, and
+for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>A Hint to the Ladies.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Don't make your rooms gloomy. Furnish them for light and let them have
+it. Daylight is very cheap, and candle or gas light you need not use
+often. If your rooms are dark, all the effect of furniture, pictures,
+walls, and carpets is lost. Finally, if you have beautiful<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> things,
+make them useful. The fashion of having a nice parlor, and then
+shutting it up all but three or four days in the year, when you have
+company; spending your own life in a mean room, shabbily furnished, or
+an unhealthy basement, to save your things, is the meanest possible
+economy. Go a little further&mdash;shut up your house, and live in a
+pig-pen! The use of nice and beautiful things is to act upon your
+spirit&mdash;to educate you and make you beautiful.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Another.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Don't put your cards around the looking-glass, unless in your private
+boudoir. If you wish to display them, keep them in a suitable basket
+or vase on the mantle or center-table.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>An Obliging Disposition.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Polite persons are necessarily obliging. A smile is always on their
+lips, an earnestness in their countenance, when we ask a favor of
+them. They know that to render a service with a bad grace, is in
+reality not to render it at all. If they are obliged to refuse a
+favor, they do it with mildness and delicacy; they express such
+feeling regret that they still inspire us with gratitude; in short,
+their conduct appears so perfectly natural that it really seems that
+the opportunity which is offered them of obliging us, is obliging
+themselves; and they refuse all our thanks, without affectation or
+effort.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Securing a Home.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Let me, as a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of
+social life, in our own country especially, enter my earnest protest
+against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of
+<i>boarding</i>,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> in place of at once establishing for themselves the
+distinctive and ennobling prerogatives of <span class="smcap">HOME</span>. Language and time
+would alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils
+inevitably growing out of this fashionable system. Take the advice of
+an old man, who has tested theories by prolonged experience, and at
+once establish your <span class="smcap">Penates</span> within four walls, and under a roof that
+will, at times, exclude all who are not properly denizens of your
+household, upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life.
+Do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you can not
+shrine your home deities upon pedestals of marble. <i>Cover their bases
+with flowers</i>&mdash;God's free gift to all&mdash;and the plainest support will
+suffice for them if it be but <i>firm</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>Taste vs. Fashion.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A lady should never, on account of economy, wear either what she deems
+an ugly or an ungraceful garment; such garments never put her at her
+ease, and are neglected and cast aside long before they have done her
+their true service. We are careful only of those things which suit us,
+and which we believe adorn us, and the mere fact of believing that we
+look well, goes a great way toward making us do so. Fashion should be
+sacrificed to taste, or, at best, followed at a distance; it does not
+do to be <i>entirely out</i>, nor <i>completely in</i>, what is called
+"fashion," many things being embraced under that term which are
+frivolous, unmeaning, and sometimes meretricious.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>Special Claims.</i></h4>
+
+<p>There are persons to whom a lady or gentleman should be especially
+polite. All elderly persons, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span> unattractive, the poor, and those
+whose dependent positions may cause them to fear neglect. The
+gentleman who offers his arm or gives his time to an old lady, or asks
+a very plain one to dance, or attends one who is poorly dressed, never
+looses in others' estimation or his own.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>Propriety of Deportment.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Propriety of deportment is the valuable result of a knowledge of one's
+self, and of respect for the rights of others; it is a feeling of the
+sacrifices which are imposed on self-esteem by our social relations;
+it is, in short, a sacred requirement of harmony and affection.</p>
+
+
+<h4>9. <i>False Pride.</i></h4>
+
+<p>False pride and false dignity are very mean qualities. A true
+gentleman will do anything proper for him to do. He can soil his hands
+or use his muscles when there is occasion. The truest gentleman is
+more likely to carry home a market-basket, or a parcel, or to wheel a
+barrow through Broadway, than many a conceited little snob of a
+shop-boy.</p>
+
+
+<h4>10. <i>The Awkwardness of being "Dressed."</i></h4>
+
+<p>When dressed for company, strive to appear as easy and natural as if
+you were in undress. Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive
+person, or more ridiculous to one gifted with an <i>esprit moquer</i> [a
+disposition to "make fun"], than to see a lady laboring under the
+consciousness of a fine gown; or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward,
+and ungainly in a brand-new coat.</p>
+
+
+<div class="footnotes"><p>FOOTNOTE:</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_R_18" id="Footnote_R_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_R_18"><span class="label">[R]</span></a> <i>Life Illustrated.</i></p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII.</h2>
+
+<h2>MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>The pages of the "Noble Oracle" are replete with sound advice,
+which all may receive with profit. Genuine politeness is the
+same always and everywhere.&mdash;<i>Madame Bienceance.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h4>1. <i>Cheerfulness and Good Humor.</i></h4>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 55px;">
+<img src="images/imgi.jpg" width="55" height="170" alt="I" title="" />
+</div><p>t is a wonderful thing that so many persons, putting in claims to
+good breeding, should think of carrying their spleen into company, and
+entertaining those with whom they converse with a history of their
+pains, head-aches, and ill-treatment. This is, of all others, the
+meanest help to social happiness; and a man must have a very mean
+opinion of himself, who, on having detailed his grievances, is
+accosted by asking the news. Mutual good-humor is a dress in which we
+ought to appear, whenever we meet; and we ought to make no mention of
+ourselves, unless it be in matters wherein our friends ought to
+rejoice. There is no real life but cheerful life; therefore
+valetudinarians should be sworn before they enter into company not to
+say a word of themselves until the meeting breaks up.</p>
+
+
+<h4>2. <i>The Art of Pleasing.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very
+difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and your
+own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can.
+Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of
+pleasing. Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably
+the same things in you will please<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span> others. If you are pleased with
+the complaisance and attention of others to you, depend upon it the
+same complaisance and attention, on your part, will equally please
+them. Take the tone of the company you are in, and do not pretend to
+give it; be serious or gay, as you find the present humor of the
+company. This is an attention due from every individual to the
+majority.</p>
+
+
+<h4>3. <i>Adaptation of Manners.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Ceremony resembles that base coin which circulates through a country
+by the royal mandate. It serves every purpose of real money at home,
+but is entirely useless if carried abroad. A person who should attempt
+to circulate his native trash in another country would be thought
+either ridiculous or culpable. He is truly well-bred who knows when to
+value and when to despise those national peculiarities which are
+regarded by some with so much observance. A traveler of taste at once
+perceives that the wise are polite all the world over, but that fools
+are polite only at home.</p>
+
+
+<h4>4. <i>Bad Habits.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits, such as thrusting on
+your tongue, continually snapping your fingers, rubbing your hands,
+sighing aloud, gaping with a noise like a country fellow that has been
+sleeping in a hay-loft, or indeed with any noise; and many others that
+I have noticed before. These are imitations of the manners of the mob,
+and are degrading to a gentleman. It is rude and vulgar to lean your
+head back and destroy the appearance of fine papered walls.</p>
+
+
+<h4>5. <i>Do what You are About.</i></h4>
+
+<p><i>Hoc age</i> was a maxim among the Romans, which means, "Do what you are
+about, and do that only."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> A little mind is hurried by twenty things
+at once; but a man of sense does but one thing at a time, and resolves
+to excel in it; for whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing
+well. Therefore, remember to give yourself up entirely to the thing
+you are doing, be it what it may, whether your book or your play; for
+if you have a right ambition, you will desire to excel all boys of
+your age, at cricket, at trap-ball, as well as in learning.</p>
+
+
+<h4>6. <i>People who never Learn.</i></h4>
+
+<p>There have been people who have frequented the first companies all
+their lifetime, and yet have never divested themselves of their
+natural stiffness and awkwardness; but have continued as vulgar as if
+they were never out of a servants' hall. This has been owing to
+carelessness, and a want of attention to the manners and behavior of
+others.</p>
+
+
+<h4>7. <i>Conformity to Local Manners.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is
+essentially the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is
+called, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is different
+in almost every country, and merely local; and every man of sense
+imitates and conforms to that local good-breeding or the place which
+he is at.</p>
+
+
+<h4>8. <i>How to Confer Favors.</i></h4>
+
+<p>The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and bunglingly as to
+offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to
+oblige. Endeavor to acquire this great secret. It exists, it is to be
+found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of the
+alchymists would be, if it were, as it is not, to be found.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p>
+<h4>9. <i>Fitness.</i></h4>
+
+<p>One of the most important points of life is decency, which means doing
+what is proper, and where it is proper; for many things are proper at
+one time, and in one place, that are extremely improper in another.
+Read men, therefore, yourself, not in books, but in nature. Adopt no
+systems, but study them yourself.</p>
+
+
+<h4>10. <i>How to Refuse.</i></h4>
+
+<p>A polite manner of refusing to comply with the solicitations of a
+company is also very necessary to be learned; for a young man who
+seems to have no will of his own, but does everything that is asked of
+him, may be a very good-natured, but he is a very silly, fellow.</p>
+
+
+<h4>11. <i>Civility to Women.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no
+provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every
+woman; and the greatest man in the world would be justly reckoned a
+brute, if he were not civil to the meanest woman.</p>
+
+
+<h4>12. <i>Spirit.</i></h4>
+
+<p>Spirit is now a very fashionable word. To act with spirit, to speak
+with spirit, means only to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. An
+able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is
+neither hot nor timid.</p>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span></p><hr class="section" />
+<h2><a name="XIII" id="XIII"></a>XIII.</h2>
+
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot medium"><p>It is well to combine amusement with instruction, whether you
+write for young or old.&mdash;<i>Anonymous.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>I.&mdash;ELDER BLUNT AND SISTER SCRUB.</h3>
+
+<div class="figcap" style="width: 75px;">
+<img src="images/imgt.jpg" width="75" height="168" alt="T" title="" />
+</div><p>he house of the excellent Squire Scrub was the itinerant's home; and
+a right sweet, pleasant home it would have been but for a certain
+unfortunate weakness of the every other way <i>excellent</i> Sister Scrub.
+The weakness I allude to was, or at least it was suspected to be, <i>the
+love of praise</i>. Now the good sister was really worthy of high praise,
+and she often received it; but she had a way of disparaging herself
+and her performances which some people thought was intended to invite
+praise. No housewife kept her floors looking so clean and her walls so
+well whitewashed as she. Every board was scrubbed and scoured till
+further scrubbing and scouring would have been labor wasted. No one
+could look on her white ash floor and not admire the polish her
+industry gave it. The "Squire" was a good provider, and Sister Scrub
+was an excellent cook; and so their table groaned under a burden of
+good things on all occasions when good cheer was demanded. And yet you
+could never enter the house and sit half an hour without being
+reminded that "Husband held Court yesterday, and she couldn't keep the
+house decent." If you sat down to eat with them, she was sorry she
+"hadn't anything fit to eat." She had been scrubbing,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span> or washing, or
+ironing, or she had been half sick, and she hadn't got such and such
+things that she ought to have. Nor did it matter how bountiful or how
+well prepared the repast really was, there was always <i>something</i>
+deficient, the want of which furnished a text for a disparaging
+discourse on the occasion. I remember once that we sat down to a table
+that a king might have been happy to enjoy. There was the light
+snow-white bread; there were the potatoes reeking in butter; there
+were chickens swimming in gravy; there were the onions and the
+turnips, and I was sure Sister Scrub had gratified her ambition for
+once. We sat down, and a blessing was asked; instantly the good sister
+began; she was afraid her coffee was too much burned, or that the
+water had been smoked, or that she hadn't roasted the chicken enough.
+There ought to have been some salad, and it was too bad that there was
+nothing nice to offer us.</p>
+
+<p>We, of course, endured those unjustifiable apologies as well as the
+could, simply remarking that everything was really nice, and proving
+by our acts that the repast was tempting to our appetites.</p>
+
+<p>I will now introduce another actor to the reader&mdash;Elder Blunt, the
+circuit preacher. Elder Blunt was a good man. His religion was of the
+most genuine, experimental kind. He was a <i>very</i> plain man. He, like
+Mr. Wesley, would no more dare to preach a <i>fine</i> sermon than wear a
+fine coat. He was celebrated for his common-sense way of exhibiting
+the principles of religion. He <i>would</i> speak just what he thought, and
+as he felt. He somehow got the name of being an eccentric preacher, as
+every man, I believe, does who <i>never</i> prevaricates, and always acts
+and speaks as he thinks. Somehow or other, Elder Blunt had heard of
+Sister<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span> Scrub, and that infirmity of hers, and he resolved to cure
+her. On his first round he stopped at "Squire Scrub's," as all other
+itinerants had done before him. John, the young man, took the elder's
+horse and put him in the stable, and the preacher entered the house.
+He was shown into the best room, and soon felt very much at home. He
+expected to hear something in due time disparaging the domestic
+arrangements, but he heard it sooner than he expected. This time, if
+Sister Scrub could be credited, her house was all upside down; it
+wasn't fit to stay in, and she was sadly mortified to be caught in
+such a plight. The elder looked all around the room, as if to observe
+the terrible disorder, but he said not a word. By-and-by the dinner
+was ready, and the elder sat down with the family to a well spread
+table. Here, again, Sister Scrub found everything faulty; the coffee
+wasn't fit to drink, and she hadn't anything fit to eat. The elder
+lifted his dark eye to her face; for a moment he seemed to penetrate
+her very soul with his austere gaze; then slowly rising from the
+table, he said, "Brother Scrub, I want my horse immediately; I must
+leave!"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Brother Blunt, what is the matter?"</p>
+
+<p>"Matter? Why, sir, your house isn't fit to stay in, and you haven't
+anything fit to eat or drink, and I won't stay."</p>
+
+<p>Both the "Squire" and his lady were confounded. This was a piece of
+eccentricity entirely unlooked for. They were stupefied. But the elder
+was gone. He wouldn't stay in a house not fit to stay in, and where
+there wasn't anything fit to eat and drink.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Sister Scrub! She wept like a child at her folly. She "knew it
+would be all over town," she said, "and everybody would be laughing at
+her." And then,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span> how should she meet the blunt, honest elder again?
+"She hadn't meant anything by what she had said." Ah! she never
+thought how wicked it was to say <i>so much</i> that didn't mean anything.</p>
+
+<p>The upshot of the whole matter was, that Sister Scrub "saw herself as
+others saw her." She ceased making apologies, and became a wiser and
+better Christian. Elder Blunt always puts up there, always finds
+everything as it should be, and, with all his eccentricities, is
+thought by the family the most agreeable, as he is acknowledged by
+everybody to be the most consistent, of men.&mdash;<i>Rev. J. V. Watson.</i></p>
+
+
+<h3>II.&mdash;THE PRESENCE.</h3>
+
+<p>Mr. Johnson, an English traveler, relates, in his notes on North
+America, the following story:</p>
+
+<p>"At Boston," he says, "I was told of a gentleman in the neighborhood
+who, having a farm servant, found him very satisfactory in every
+respect, except that he invariably came into his employer's room with
+his hat on.</p>
+
+<p>"'John,' said he to the man one day, 'you always keep your hat on when
+you come into the room.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Well, sir,' said John, 'and haven't I a right to?'</p>
+
+<p>"'Yes,' was his employer's reply, 'I suppose you have.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Well,' said John, 'if I have a right to, why shouldn't I?'</p>
+
+<p>"This was a poser from one man to another, where all have equal
+rights. So, after a moment's reflection the gentleman asked:</p>
+
+<p>"'Now, John, what will you take, how much more wages will you ask, to
+take off your hat whenever you come in?'</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></p>
+<p>"'Well, that requires consideration, I guess,' said the man.</p>
+
+<p>"'Take the thing into consideration, then,' rejoined the employer,
+'and let me know to-morrow morning.'</p>
+
+<p>"The morrow comes, and John appears.</p>
+
+<p>"'Well, John, have you considered what additional wages you are to
+have for taking your hat off?'</p>
+
+<p>"'Well, sir, I guess it's worth a dollar a month.'</p>
+
+<p>"'It's settled, then, John; you shall have another dollar a month.'</p>
+
+<p>"So the gentleman retained a good man, while John's hat was always in
+his hand when he entered the house."</p>
+
+<p>This story, to one who knows New England, is not altogether
+incredible. Toward the democratization of this country, yet most
+incomplete, it will perhaps be one day conceded that the South has
+contributed ideas, and New England sentiment; while the Great West
+will have made a partial application of both to the conduct of life.
+The Yankees are the kindest and the acutest of our people, and the
+most ungraceful. Nowhere in the world is there so much good feeling,
+combined with so much rudeness of manner, as in New England. The
+South, colonized by Cavaliers, retains much of the Cavalier
+improvidence and careless elegance of manner; and Southerners, like
+the soil they till, are generous. But the Yankees, descended from
+austere and Puritanic farmers, and accustomed to wring their
+subsistence from an unwilling soil, possess the sterling virtues of
+human nature along with a stiff-jointed awkwardness of manner, and a
+sharp angularity of thought, which renders them unpleasing even to
+those who respect them most. A Yankee seldom ceases to be provincial.</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p>
+<p>But John is waiting, hat in hand, to hear what we have to say
+respecting his case.</p>
+
+<p>We say that John was wrong in not taking off his hat voluntarily, but
+that the feeling which prevented his doing so was right. He was right
+in feeling that the accidental circumstance of his being a hired man
+gave his employer no claim to any special mark of respect from him;
+and, as he considered that the removal of his hat would have been a
+special mark of respect, and thus an acknowledgment of social
+inferiority, he declined to make that acknowledgment. But John was
+mistaken. The act referred to would not have borne such an
+interpretation. John ought to have felt that on coming into the
+presence of a man, a fellow-citizen and co-sovereign, and particularly
+on entering his abode, one of the innumerable royal residences of the
+country, some visible sign of respect, some kind of deferential
+salutation, is <i>due</i> from the person entering. John should have risen
+superior to the mere accident of his position, and remembered only
+that he and his employer were men and equals. The positions of the two
+men might be reversed in a day; their equality as men and citizens,
+nothing but crime could affect.&mdash;<i>James Parton.</i></p>
+
+
+<h3>III.&mdash;A LEARNED MAN AT TABLE.</h3>
+
+<p>Some of the many errors which are liable to be committed through
+ignorance of usage, are pleasantly pointed out in the following story,
+which is related by a French writer:</p>
+
+<p>The Abb&eacute; Cosson, professor in the <i>Coll&eacute;ge Mazarin</i>, thoroughly
+accomplished in the art of teaching, saturated with Greek, Latin, and
+literature, considered himself a perfect well of science: he had no
+conception that a man who knew all Persius and Horace by heart<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> could
+possibly commit an error&mdash;above all, an error at table. But it was not
+long before he discovered his mistake. One day, after dining with the
+Abb&eacute; de Radonvilliers at Versailles, in company with several courtiers
+and marshals of France; he was boasting of the rare acquaintance with
+etiquette and custom which he had exhibited at dinner. The Abb&eacute;
+Delille, who heard this eulogy upon his own conduct, interrupted his
+harangue by offering to wager that he had committed at least a hundred
+improprieties at the table. "How is it possible?" exclaimed Cosson. "I
+did exactly like the rest of the company."</p>
+
+<p>"What absurdity!" said the other. "You did a thousand things which no
+one else did. First, when you sat down at the table, what did you do
+with your napkin?" "My napkin! why, just what everybody else did with
+theirs. I unfolded it entirely, and fastened it to my button-hole."
+"Well, my dear friend," said Delille, "you were the only one that did
+<i>that</i>, at all events. No one hangs up his napkin in that style; they
+are contented with placing it on their knees. And what did you do when
+you took soup?" "Like the others, I believe. I took any spoon in one
+hand and my fork in the other&mdash;" "Your fork! Who ever ate soup with a
+fork? But to proceed: after your soup, what did you eat?" "A fresh
+egg." "And what did you do with the shell?" "Handed it to the servant
+who stood behind my chair." "Without breaking it, of course?" "Well,
+my dear Abb&eacute;, nobody ever eats an egg without breaking the shell."
+"And after your egg&mdash;?" "I asked the Abb&eacute; Radonvilliers to send me a
+piece of the hen near him." "Bless my soul! a piece of the <i>hen</i>! You
+never speak of hens excepting in the barn-yard. You should have asked
+for fowl, or chicken.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> But you say nothing of your mode of drinking."
+"Like all the rest, I asked for <i>claret</i> and <i>champagne</i>." "Let me
+inform you, then, that persons always ask for <i>claret wine</i> and
+<i>champagne wine</i>. But tell me, how did you eat your bread?" "Surely I
+did that properly. I cut it with my knife in the most regular manner
+possible." "Bread should always be broken, not cut. But the coffee,
+how did you manage it?" "It was rather too hot, and I poured a little
+of it into my saucer." "Well, you committed here the greatest fault of
+all. You should never pour your coffee into the saucer, but always
+drink it from the cup." The poor Abb&eacute; was confounded. He felt that
+though one might be master of the seven sciences, yet that there was
+another species of knowledge which, if less dignified, was equally
+important.</p>
+
+<p>This occurred many years ago, but there is not one of the observances
+neglected by the Abb&eacute; Cosson which is not enforced with equal
+rigidness in the present day.</p>
+
+
+<h3>IV.&mdash;ENGLISH WOMEN IN HIGH LIFE.</h3>
+
+<p>Lord Hardwicke's family consists of his countess, his eldest son
+(about eighteen or twenty, Lord Royston by courtesy), three of the
+finest-looking daughters you ever saw, and several younger sons. The
+daughters&mdash;Lady Elizabeth, Lady Mary, and Lady Agnita&mdash;are
+surpassingly beautiful; such development&mdash;such rosy cheeks, laughing
+eyes, and unaffected manners&mdash;you rarely see combined. They take a
+great deal of out-door exercise, and came aboard the Merrimac, in a
+heavy rain, with Irish shoes thicker soled than you or I ever wore,
+and cloaks and dresses almost impervious to wet. They steer their
+father's yacht, walk the Lord knows how<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> many miles, and don't care a
+cent about rain, besides doing a host of other things that would shock
+our ladies to death; and yet in the parlor are the most elegant
+looking women, in their satin shoes and diamonds, I ever saw.... After
+dinner the ladies play and sing for us, and the other night they got
+up a game of blind-man's-buff; in which the ladies said we had the
+advantage, inasmuch as their "petticoats rustled so that they were
+easily caught." They call things by their names here. In the course of
+the game, Lord Hardwicke himself was blindfolded, and, trying to catch
+some one, fell over his daughter's lap on the floor, when two or three
+of the girls caught him by the legs and dragged his lordship&mdash;roaring
+with laughter, as we all were&mdash;on his back into the middle of the
+floor. Yet they are perfectly respectful, but appear on a perfect
+equality with each other.&mdash;<i>Letter from an Officer of the "Merrimac."</i></p>
+
+
+<h3>V.&mdash;"VIL YOU SAY SO, IF YOU PLEASE?"</h3>
+
+<p>"Speaking of <i>not speaking</i>," said I, when the general amusement had
+abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed
+in the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to
+wait several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a
+bustling, sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking
+about the room, apparently upon a tom of inspection, finally settled
+herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair&mdash;the
+only one in the room&mdash;and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound
+asleep. It was not long, however, before a noise of some one entering
+aroused her, and a tall, gaunt, old Yankee woman, hung around with
+countless bags, bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span>
+sizes and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After slowly
+relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her
+progress in life, she turned to a young man who accompanied her, and
+said, in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken,
+at this day, for a railroad whistle&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go
+for them toothache drops; I am a'most crazy with pain!' laying a hand
+upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as
+the door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at
+the same time,' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknown
+depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to
+light a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of
+a modern belle. 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I
+don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred up.'</p>
+
+<p>"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly
+aroused, and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger,
+her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest
+of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group).
+With a prolonged stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the
+vacated seat, making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility
+she had received. Presently she began to groan, rocking herself
+furiously at the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair,
+who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long row
+of wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she,
+'that you suffare ver' much&mdash;vat can I do for you?' The representative
+of Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response
+she made to this amiable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously
+than ever might be construed into a reply.</p>
+
+<p>"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so
+anomalous a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated.</p>
+
+<p>"Before I was summoned away, the toothache drops and the snuff
+together (both administered in large doses) seemed to have gradually
+produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.</p>
+
+<p>"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action.</p>
+
+<p>"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with
+considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer.</p>
+
+<p>"'And you feel dis <i>fauteuil</i> really very <i>com-for-ta-ble</i>?' pursued
+the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just
+discernible.</p>
+
+<p>"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of
+impatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually <i>screamed</i>
+out:</p>
+
+<p>"'<i>Bien</i>, madame, <i>vil you say so</i>, if you please?'</p>
+
+<div class="right">"<i>Henry Lunettes.</i>"</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><br />THE INDISPENSABLE HAND-BOOK.</h2>
+<hr class="section" />
+<h2>How to Write&mdash;&mdash;How to Talk&mdash;&mdash;How to Behave,<br /> and How to Do Business.</h2>
+
+<h3><br />COMPLETE IN ONE LARGE VOLUME.</h3>
+
+<p>This new work&mdash;in four parts&mdash;embraces just that practical
+matter-of-fact information which every one&mdash;old and young&mdash;ought to
+have. It will aid in attaining, if it does not insure, "success in
+life." It contains some 600 pages, elegantly bound, and is divided
+into four parts, as follows:</p>
+
+
+<h2>How to Write:</h2>
+
+<p>As a Manual of Letter-Writing and Composition, is far superior to the
+common "Letter-Writers." It teaches the inexperienced how to write
+Business Letters, Family Letters, Friendly Letters, Love Letters,
+Notes and Cards, and Newspaper Articles, and how to Correct Proof for
+the Press. The newspapers have pronounced it "Indispensable."</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<h2>How to Talk:</h2>
+
+<p>No other Book contains so much Useful Instruction on the subject as
+this. It teaches how to Speak Correctly, Clearly, Fluently, Forcibly,
+Eloquently, and Effectively, in the Shop, in the Drawing-room; a
+Chairman's Guide, to conduct Debating Societies and Public Meetings;
+how to Spell, end how to Pronounce all sorts of Words; with Exercises
+for Declamation. The chapter on "Errors Corrected" is worth the price
+of the volume to every young man. "Worth a dozen grammars."</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<h2>How to Behave:</h2>
+
+<p>This is a Manual of Etiquette, and it is believed to be the best
+"MANNERS BOOK" ever written. If you desire to know what good manners
+require, at Home, on the Street, at a Party, at Church, at Table, in
+Conversation, at Places of Amusement, in Traveling, in the Company of
+Ladies, in Courtship, this book will inform you. It is a standard work
+on Good Behavior.</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<h2>How to Do Business:</h2>
+
+<p>Indispensable in the Counting-room, in the Store, in the Shop, on the
+Farm, for the Clerk, the Apprentice, the Book Agent, and for Business
+Men. It teaches how to Choose a Pursuit, and how to follow it with
+success. "It teaches how to get rich honestly," and how to use your
+riches wisely.</p>
+
+<div class="center">
+How to Write&mdash;How to Talk&mdash;How to Behave&mdash;How to Do Business, bound<br />
+in one large handsome volume, for $2
+</div>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p>
+<h2>Practical Outdoor Books.</h2>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Raise Fruits.</b>&mdash;A Handbook of Fruit Culture. Being a Guide to
+the Proper Cultivation and Management of Fruit Trees, and of Grapes
+and Small Fruits, with condensed descriptions of many of the best and
+most popular varieties, with upwards of 100 engravings. By <span class="smcap">Thomas
+Gregg</span>. $1.00</p>
+
+<p>A book which should be owned by every person who owns a rod of
+available land, and it will serve to secure success where now there is
+nothing but failure. It covers the ground fully, without
+technicalities, and is a work on "Fruit Culture for the Million."</p>
+
+<p>It tells of the cost, how to plant, how to trim, how to transplant,
+location, soil, selection diseases, insects, borers, blights,
+cultivation, how to prune, manuring, layering, budding grafting, etc.,
+including full description and management of Orchard Fruit, such as
+Apples, Peaches, Pears, Plums, Cherries, Quinces, Apricots,
+Nectarines, etc. It is a most Complete Guide to Small-Fruit Culture,
+with many illustrations and descriptions of the latest varieties of
+Grapes, Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, Gooseberries,
+Currants, etc.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Paint.</b>&mdash;A New Work by a Practical Painter. Denoted for the use
+of Farmers, Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, and as a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain common-sense statement of the
+methods employed by painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every description, including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper-Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying, and Ornamenting, with
+directions for mixing and applying all kinds of Paints. Makes "Every
+Man his Own Painter." $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Model Potato.</b>&mdash;An exposition of the proper cultivation of the
+Potato; the Causes of its Disease, and the Remedy; its Renewal,
+Preservation, Productiveness, and Cooking. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Horses: Their Feed and Their Feet.</b>&mdash;A manual of horse hygiene,
+invaluable for the veteran or the novice, pointing out the causes of
+"Malaria," "Glanders," "Pink Eye," "Distemper," etc., and how to
+Prevent and Counteract them. By <span class="smcap">C. E. Page, M.D.</span>, with a Treatise and
+Notes on Shoeing by Sir George Cox and Col. M. C. Weld. 150 pp. 12mo,
+paper, 50 cents; extra cloth, 75 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>By mail, post-paid,</b> on receipt of price. Address</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 15em;">FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 24em;">753 Broadway, New York</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p>
+<div class="center large">A NEW WORK.<br />
+<br />
+<i>FRESH, SEASONABLE, ADVANCED.</i>
+</div>
+
+<h2><br /><span class="large">BRAIN AND MIND;</span>
+<br />
+<span class="small">OR<br />
+
+MENTAL SCIENCE CONSIDERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PRINCIPLES<br /> OF
+PHRENOLOGY, AND IN RELATION TO MODERN PHYSIOLOGY
+</span><br /><br /></h2>
+
+<div class="center">By HENRY S. DRAYTON, A.M., and JAMES McNEILL.<br />
+<br />
+<span class="center medium"><b>Illustrated with over One Hundred Portraits and Diagrams.</b></span>
+<br /><br />
+<b>12mo, extra cloth&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Price, $1.60.</b></div>
+
+<p>This contribution to the science of mind has been made in response to
+the demand of the time for a work embodying the grand principles of
+Phrenology, as they are understood and applied to-day by the advanced
+exponents of mental philosophy. The authors state in their Preface:
+"In preparing this volume it has been the aim to meet an existing
+want, viz. That of a treatise which not only gives the reader a
+complete view of the system of mental science known as Phrenology, but
+also exhibits its relation to anatomy and physiology as those sciences
+are represented to-day by standard authority."</p>
+
+<p>The work is divided into eighteen chapters, which are entitled as
+follows:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot">
+<span class="medium">CHAPTERS.</span><br />
+<ol style="list-style-type: upper-roman; margin-left: 3em;">
+<li><span class="smcap">General Principles.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Of the Temperaments.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Structure of the Brain and Skull.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Classification of the Faculties.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Physico-Preservative, or Selfish Organs.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Of the Intellect.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Semi-Intellectual Faculties.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Organs of the Social Functions.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Selfish Sentiments.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Moral and Religious Sentiments.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">How to Examine Heads.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">How Character is Manifested.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Action of the Faculties.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">The Relation of Phrenology to Metaphysics and Education.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Value of Phrenology As an Art.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Phrenology and Physiology.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Objections and Confirmations by the Physiologists.</span></li>
+<li><span class="smcap">Phrenology in General Literature.</span></li>
+</ol>
+</div>
+
+<p>In style and treatment it is adapted to the general reader, and
+abounds with valuable instruction expressed in clear, practical terms.</p>
+
+<p>It is printed on fine paper, and substantially bound in cloth, and
+contains 325 pages. 12mo. Price $1.50, by mail post-paid.</p>
+
+<div class="center"><i>Address</i>&nbsp;&nbsp; FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., 753 Broadway, N. Y.</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span></p>
+<h2><br />HOW TO PAINT.</h2>
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<h3><i>"EVERY MAN HIS OWN PAINTER."</i></h3>
+
+<p><span class="large"><b>How to Paint.</b></span>&mdash;A complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the use
+of Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, Farmers, and a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain Common-sense statement of the
+Methods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every Description, including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, with
+Formulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Pigments
+used; their Average Cost, Tools required, etc. By <span class="smcap">F. B. Gardner</span>,
+author of the <i>Carriage Painter's Manual</i>. 127 pp. Cloth, $1.00.</p>
+
+<p>This is just the work needed by every person who has anything to
+paint, as will be seen from the following from the Table of Contents.
+It is very complete, and will make <b>"Every Man his Own Painter."</b></p>
+
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER I.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Painting</span>&mdash;Tools used.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER II.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Brushes</span>.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER III.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Dry Colors</span>&mdash;White
+Lead; Fine White; Lamp Black; Drop
+Black; Ivory Black; Prussian Blue; Ultramarine
+Green; Yellow; Vermilion;
+Brown; Lake; Carmine; Rose Pink;
+Whiting; Glue; Pumice Stone; Asphaltum.
+<br />
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER IV.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Liquids</span>&mdash;Spirits of
+Turpentine; Oils; Varnishes; Furniture
+Varnish; Average Prices of
+Varnish; Shellac Varnish; Japan Gold
+Size; Brown Japan Size; Fat Oil Size;
+Quick Size; Asphaltum Size; Honey
+Size; Size for Glass.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER V.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Colors in Oil</span>&mdash;Tube
+Colors; Compound Colors.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER VI.&mdash;Mixing Paint; White
+Paint; White for Inside Work; China
+Glass; Oil Color for Outside Work;
+Dead, or Flat Color; Colors Ground in
+Oil. <span class="smcap">Putty</span>&mdash;Common Window Putty;
+Carriage Painters' Putty; Cementing
+Putty; Furniture Putty; Hardwood
+Putty; Putty for Plaster Work.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER VII.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Milk Paint</span>&mdash;Distemper
+Painting; Kalsomine; Preparing
+Kalsomine; Paint for Out-Buildings;
+Paint for Iron Railing; White
+wash; Size for Walls; Paste for Paper
+hanging; Hanging Paper.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER VIII.&mdash;Graining; Oak in
+Distemper; Oak in Oil; Maple; Mahogany;
+Rosewood; Black Walnut;
+Staining; Granite; Brown Stone;
+Portland Stone; Smalting; Flockings;
+Marbling.
+</div>
+<div class="adquot">
+CHAPTER IX.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Gilding</span>&mdash;Gold Leaf;
+Silver Leaf; Dutch Metal; Gilding on
+Glass; Bronzing; Stenciling; Transferring;
+Decalcomanie; Transparent
+Painting; Pearl Inlaying; Making a
+Rustic Picture; Painting Flower Stand;
+Polish for Mahogany; Varnishing Furniture;
+Waxing Furniture; Cleaning
+Paint; Paint for Farming Tools; Paint
+for Machinery; Paint for Household
+Goods; Paint for Iron; To Imitate
+Ground Glass; Pumicing Ornaments;
+Painting to Imitate Damask; To Paint
+a Farm Wagon; To Re-Varnish a Carriage;
+To Duplicate Plaster Casts;
+"Putty Work;" Permanent Wood
+Filling for House Work.
+</div>
+
+<p>It is neatly Printed, with illustrations showing everything that can
+be illustrated in connection with the subject. Published in uniform
+style with the Carriage Painter's Manual, at the same price. $1.00, by
+mail, past-paid, to any address by <b>B. R. WELLS &amp; CO., Publishers, 737
+Broadway, N. Y.</b></p>
+
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span></p>
+<h2>THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT,</h2>
+
+<div class="center">
+Containing the Original Greek Text of <span class="smcap">The New Testament</span> with an
+interlineary<br /> word-for-word English Translation; a new Emphatic Version
+based on the<br /> Interlineary Translation, on the Readings of Eminent
+Critics, and on the<br /> various Readings of the Vatican Manuscript (No
+1,209 in the Vatican<br /> Library); together with illustrative and
+Explanatory Foot Notes,<br /> and a copious Selection of References; to the
+whole of which<br /> is added a valuable Alphabetical Index.<br />
+<br />
+By BENJAMIN WILSON.<br />
+<br />
+<b>One Vol., 12mo, 884 pp. Price, extra cloth, $4; Lib. binding, $5.</b>
+</div>
+
+<p>We have here a Greek Text acknowledged to be one of the best, which
+Greek scholars will find of importance, while the unlearned have an
+almost equal chance with those who are acquainted with the original,
+by having an interlinear, literal, word-for-word English translation.
+On the right hand of each page there is a column containing a special
+rendering of the translation, including the labors of many talented
+critics and translators, and in this column the emphatic signs are
+noted by which the Greek words of emphasis are designated, which the
+common and are new version of the New Testament fail to give. The
+adopting of the ensigns of emphasis give a certainty and intensity to
+the passages where they occur which can not be had without them. In
+addition to this there are numerous footnotes and references, making
+it on the whole one of the most valuable aids to Bible study yet
+published.</p>
+
+<h3>OPINIONS OF THE CLERGY.</h3>
+
+<p>The following extracts from a letters received by the publishers will
+go far to show in what the light the "Emphatic Diaglott" is regarded
+by the clergy:</p>
+
+<div class="adquot">From <span class="smcap">J. R. Graves</span>, LL.D., <i>Editor of Tenn. Baptist</i>.&mdash;"There are many
+of our ministers who have mastered the usual amount of Greek required
+to complete their course at school but have found little time since
+entering upon their ministerial labors to "keep it up," and rust has
+so gathered upon their Greek that it has become a labor to work it out
+without Grammar and Lexicon. To all such and even to those who have
+accomplished but little in the language, this <span class="smcap">interlineary</span> translation
+will prove an invaluable help. The <span class="smcap">critical foot-notes</span> and Dictionary
+of Terms at the close are fully worth the price of the work itself. I
+can cordially commend it to every minister and Bible student as a
+rigidly faithful translation of the New Testament, and for several
+reasons the most valuable one that has yet been made."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From <span class="smcap">Thomas Armitage</span>, D.D., <i>Pastor of the Fifth Ave. Baptist
+Church</i>.&mdash;"<span class="smcap">Gentlemen</span>: I have examined with much care and great
+interest the specimen sheets sent me of 'the Emphatic Diaglott.' ... I
+believe that the book furnishes evidences of the purposed
+faithfulness, more than usual scholarship, and remarkable literary
+industry. It can not fail to be an important help to those who wish to
+become better acquainted with the revealed will of God. For these
+reasons I wish the enterprise of publishing the work a great success."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From the Rev. <span class="smcap">James L. Hodge</span>, <i>Pastor of the First Mariners' Baptist
+Church, N. Y.</i>&mdash;"I have examined these sheets which you design to be a
+specimen of the work, and have to confess myself much pleased with the
+arrangement and ability of Mr. Wilson.... I can most cordially thank
+Mr. Wilson for his noble work, and you, gentlemen, for your Christian
+enterprise in bringing the work before the public. I believe the work
+will do good, and aid the better understanding of the New Testament."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From Prof. <span class="smcap">H. Mattison</span>, <i>Pastor of Trinity Meth. Church, Jersey City,
+N. J.</i>&mdash;... "The plan of the work is admirable, and the presence of
+the Greek text and interlinear version gives every scholar a fair
+chance to test the version for himself, verse by verse and word for
+word. I can not but believe that the work will be valuable acquisition
+to the Biblical literature of the country."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From <span class="smcap">A. A. Livermore</span>, D.D., <i>President of the Theological Sem.,
+Meadville, Pa.</i>&mdash; ... "I welcome all efforts intelligently made to
+popularize the results of criticism, and wish that this little volume
+might be possessed by every clergyman and student of the Scriptures in
+the country."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From Rev. <span class="smcap">C. Larew</span>, <i>Pastor of the Halsey St. Meth. Church, Newark, N.
+J.</i>&mdash;"'The Diaglott' has given me great pleasure. The arrangement is a
+most excellent one, and the new version can not fail to be of
+gratification and profit, especially to those unacquainted with the
+original Greek. The translator has certainly shown great genius in
+seizing upon the thought of the original and a happy tact on
+presenting it."</div>
+
+<div class="adquot">From Rev. <span class="smcap">G. F. Warren</span>, <i>Pastor of the Worthen St. Church, Lowell,
+Mass.</i>&mdash;... "Am highly gratified with the thorough manner in which he
+(the author) has done his work. If I mistake not this translation will
+receive a cordial welcome from the Christian public. It is just what
+every Christian needs. I congratulate myself and others that such a
+valuable auxiliary to the study of the Word of God is placed in our
+hands."</div>
+
+<p>We give sample pages of the work that every one may form a correct
+idea of the plan of publication. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price.</p>
+
+<div class="center">Address all orders to <b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO. Publishers</b>,</div>
+<div class="right">753 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span></p>
+<h2><br />GOOD HEALTH BOOKS.</h2>
+
+<p><b>HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD</b>,</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Or, Hygienic Cookery. By Susanna W. Dodds, M.D. One large 12mo volume,
+600 pages, extra cloth or oil-cloth binding, price $2.00.</p></div>
+
+<p>Undoubtedly the very best work on the preparation of food in a
+healthful manner ever published, and one that should be in the hands
+of all who would furnish their tables with food that is wholesome and
+at the same time palatable, and will contribute much toward <b>Health in
+the Household</b>.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>THE NATURAL CURE</b></p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Of Consumption, Constipation, Bright's Disease, Neuralgia, Rheumatism,
+"Colds" (Fevers), Etc. How Sickness Originates and How to Prevent it.
+A Health Manual for the People. By C. E. Page. 1 vol. 12mo. 278 pp.,
+ex. cloth, $1.00.</p></div>
+
+<p>A new work with new ideas, both radical and reasonable, appealing to
+the common-sense of the reader. This is not a new work with old
+thoughts simply restated, but the most original Health Manual
+published in many years. It is written in the author's clear,
+attractive manner, and should be in the hands of all who would either
+retain or regain their health, and keep from the hands of the doctors.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>HOW TO FEED THE BABY</b>,</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>To Make Her Healthy and Happy. With Health Hints. By C. E. Page, M.D.
+Fourth Edition, Revised and Enlarged. 12mo, paper, 50 cents; extra
+cloth, 75 cts.</p></div>
+
+<p>Dr. Page has devoted much attention to the subject, both in this
+country and in Europe, noting the condition of children, and then
+making careful inquiries as to the feeding, care, etc., and this work
+is a special record of experience with his own child. In addition to
+answering the question <i>what</i> to feed the baby, this volume tells
+<i>how</i> to feed the baby, which is of equal importance. There are many
+who are now following the author's teaching with good results.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>HOW TO BE WELL</b>;</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Or, Common-Sense Medical Hygiene. A book for the people, giving
+directions for the treatment and cure of acute diseases without the
+use of drug medicines, also general hints on health. By M. Augusta
+Fairchild, M.D. 12mo, cloth, $1.00.</p></div>
+
+<p>We have here a new work on Hygiene containing the results of the
+author's experience for many years in the treatment of acute and
+chronic diseases with Hygienic agencies, and it will save an
+incalculable amount of pain and suffering, as well as doctors' bills,
+in every family where its simple directions are followed.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>DIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA.</b></p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>A Complete Explanation of the Digestive Processes, with the Symptoms
+and Treatment of Dyspepsia and other Disorders of the Digestive
+Organs. Illustrated. By R. T. Trall, M.D. $1.00.</p></div>
+
+<p>The latest and best work on the subject. With fifty illustrations;
+showing with all possible fullness every process of digestion, and
+giving all the causes, and directions for treatment of Dyspepsia. The
+author gives the summary of the data which he collected during an
+extensive practice of more than twenty-five years, largely with
+patients who were suffering from diseases caused by Dyspepsia and an
+impaired Digestion.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>THE MOTHER'S HYGIENIC HANDBOOK</b>,</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>for the Normal Development and Training of Women and Children, and the
+Treatment of their diseases with Hygienic agencies. By the same
+author. $1.00.</p></div>
+
+<p>The great experience and ability of the author enabled him to give
+just that advice which mothers need so often all through their lives.
+It covers the whole ground, and, if it be carefully read, will go far
+towards giving us an "<span class="smcap">Enlightened Motherhood</span>." The work should be read
+by every wife and every woman who contemplates marriage. Mothers may
+place it in the hands of their daughters with words of commendation,
+and feel assured they will be the better prepared for the
+responsibilities and duties of married life and motherhood.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Sent by mail, post-paid, to any address on receipt of price. Agents
+wanted.<br /> Address FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers. 753 Broadway, New
+York.</p></div>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span></p>
+<h3><br />THE WORKS OF NELSON SIZER.</h3>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<h2>A Great Book for Young People</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><b>"CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to Do and Why,"</b> describing
+Seventy-five Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and
+Talents required for each; with Portraits and Biographies of
+many successful Thinkers and Workers By <span class="smcap">Nelson Sizer</span>, Associate
+Editor of the "<span class="smcap">Phrenological Journal</span>," Vice President of, and
+Teacher in, the "American Institute of Phrenology," etc. 12mo,
+extra cloth. 508 pp. Price, $1.75.</p></div>
+
+<p>This work fills a place attempted by no other. Whoever has to earn a
+living by labor of head or hand, can not afford to do without it.</p>
+
+<div class="center">NOTICES OF THE PRESS.</div>
+
+<p>"'<span class="smcap">Choice of Pursuits</span>; or, What to do and Why' is a remarkable book.
+The author has attained a deserved eminence as a delineator of
+character. We have given it a careful reading and feel warranted in
+saying that it is a book calculated to do a vast deal of
+good."&mdash;<i>Boston Commonwealth.</i></p>
+
+<p>"The title in startling, but it is indicative of the contents of the
+book itself; the work is a desideratum."&mdash;<i>Inter-Ocean (Chicago.)</i></p>
+
+<p>"It presents many judicious counsels. The main purpose of the writer
+is to prevent mistakes in the choice of a profession. His remarks on
+the different trades are often highly original. The tendency of this
+volume is to increase the reader's respect for human nature."&mdash;<i>New
+York Tribune.</i></p>
+
+<p>"The design of this book is to indicate to every man his proper work
+and to educate him for it"&mdash;<i>Albany Evening Journal.</i></p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<h2>A New Book for Parents and Teachers.</h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><b>"HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT,"</b>
+or, Phrenology in the School-room and the Family.</p>
+
+<p>With many Illustrations. 12mo, extra cloth, 351 pages. Price, $1.50.</p></div>
+
+<p>One of the greatest difficulties in the training of children arises
+from not understanding their temperament and disposition. This work
+points out clearly the constitutious differences, and how to make the
+most of each.</p>
+
+<div class="center">NOTICES OF THE PRESS.</div>
+
+<p>"The purpose of this work is to aid parents and teachers to understand
+the talents, dispositions, and temperaments of those under their
+guidance. This opens a new field to the consideration of the teacher.
+The text is attractive and a valuable contribution to educational
+literature. It should be in the library of every parent and
+teacher."&mdash;<i>New England Journal of Education.</i></p>
+
+<p>"This is an entirely new feature in a book intended for the use of
+teachers, and must prove of great advantage to them. The text is
+written in a manner which must attract every reader."&mdash;<i>The
+Methodist.</i></p>
+
+<p>"No teacher should neglect to read this well-written contribution to
+the cause of education."&mdash;<i>Christian Instructor.</i></p>
+
+<p>"It abounds in valuable suggestions and counsels derived from many
+years experience, which can not fail to be of service to all who are
+engaged in the business of education. The subject is treated in a
+plain, familiar manner, and adapted to reading in the family as well
+as in the study of the teacher."&mdash;<i>New York Tribune.</i></p>
+
+<p>"There is a great deal of good sense in the work and all teachers will
+be glad to welcome it."&mdash;<i>The Commonwealth</i>, Boston.</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<h3>A NEW BOOK FOR EVERYBODY!</h3>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><b>FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY</b>: Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdote, and Experience. 12mo, extra cloth, 413 pages. Price,
+$1.50.</p></div>
+
+<p>In this work we have a most interesting record of the author's
+recollections and experiences during more than forty years as a
+Practical Phrenologist. The volume is filled with history, anecdotes,
+and incidents, pathetic, witty, droll, and startling. Every page
+sparkles with reality, and is packed with facts too good to be lost.
+This book will be warmly welcomed by every reader, from the boy of
+twelve to the sage of eighty years.</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<div class="blockquot"><p><b>THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE;</b> or, Marriage Vindicated and Free Love
+Exposed. 12mo. Paper, 25 cents.</p></div>
+
+<p>This work contains a sharp analysis of the social nature, in some
+respects quite original. Sent by mail, post-paid, to any address.
+Agents wanted. Address</p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 16em;"><b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.</b></span></p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p>
+<h2><span class="small">THE</span><br />
+
+HUMAN VOICE.<br /></h2>
+
+<div class="center"><span class="medium">ITS</span><br />
+
+ANATOMY, PHYSIOLOGY, PATHOLOGY, THERAPEUTICS,<br /> AND TRAINING, WITH RULES
+OF<br /> ORDER FOR LYCEUMS.<br /><br />
+
+BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.<br /><br />
+<b>Paper, 50 Cents; Cloth, 75 Cents.</b>
+</div>
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<p>The work comprises, in a clear, concise form, directions for
+strengthening and improving the voice, overcoming constitutional
+difficulties, and repairing the abnormal conditions in the organs of
+articulation as far as they can be remedied. The work contains many
+illustrations, with full directions for vocal culture and how gestures
+may become graceful. It contains, for practice, some of the most
+popular selections, including the best from Dickens, Henry Clay, Pope,
+and Bancroft, with Poe's "Raven" and the "Bells;" also, "Sheridan's
+Ride." The chapter devoted to rules of order for public meetings
+constitutes a <span class="smcap">Chairman's Guide</span>, and with a list of debatable subjects,
+would be considered worth the price of the book by many young men and
+members of debating societies. Let every young man&mdash;and woman,
+too&mdash;prepare themselves for speaking in public when occasion may
+demand it.</p>
+
+
+<h3>NOTICES.</h3>
+
+<p>All who desire to read and speak well, will find this book an
+excellent guide.&mdash;<i>New England Journal of Education.</i></p>
+
+<p>Any one who desires to improve his voice, should get a copy of this
+new work. It is a safe guide for the use of all who aim to become good
+readers and speakers.&mdash;<i>New York Weekly.</i></p>
+
+<p>The work aims at a scientific and thorough treatment of the
+subject.&mdash;<i>Daily Graphic.</i></p>
+
+<p>This book supplies the greatest want of young persons entering on
+their oratorical career.&mdash;<i>Rural New Yorker.</i></p>
+
+<p>An excellent guide for those desiring to become good readers or public
+speakers, for strengthening and improving the voice.&mdash;<i>Publishers'
+Weekly.</i></p>
+
+<p>A very useful treatise, practical in treatment, and popular in
+form.&mdash;<i>Christian Intelligencer.</i></p>
+
+<p>It will be an aid to teachers.&mdash;<i>National Teachers' Monthly.</i></p>
+
+<p>It will be found a plain and intelligible guide in theory and
+practice, to any who desire to improve or excel, and must rely mainly
+on self-education.&mdash;<i>Christian Instructor, and West. United Pres.</i></p>
+
+<p><b>Agents wanted</b> to sell this in High Schools, Colleges, etc. Sent by
+mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 18em;"><b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers,</b></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 26em;"><b>753 Broadway, New York.</b></span><br />
+</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p>
+<h3>A Choice of Premiums.</h3>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/img156.jpg" width="250" height="265" alt="Phrenological Chart" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p><b>The Phrenological Chart.</b></p>
+
+<p>A handsome symbolical Head, made from new and special drawings
+designed for the purpose. The pictorial illustrations show the
+location of each of the phrenological organs and their natural
+language. The Head is about twelve ins. wide, handsomely lithographed
+in colors and on heavy plate paper 19 &times; 24 ins., properly mounted,
+with rings for hanging or may be framed, and will be very attractive
+wherever it is seen. Price: $1.00. Is given to the new subscribers, or
+the Bust Premium.</p>
+
+<p><b>The Phrenological Bust.</b></p>
+
+<p>This Bust is made of Plaster of Paris, and so lettered as to show the
+exact location of each of the Phrenological Organs. The head is nearly
+life-size, and very ornamental, deserving a place on the centre-table
+or mantel, in parlor, office or study. This, with the illustrated key
+which accompanies each Bust, should be in the hands of all who would
+know "<span class="smcap">How to Read Character</span>." Price, $1.00, or given as a Premium to
+each new subscriber to the <span class="smcap">Journal</span> or we will send the Chart Premium.</p>
+
+
+<h2><span class="small">THE</span><br />
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL</h2>
+
+<p>Is widely known in America and Europe, having been before the reading
+world fifty years, and occupying a place in literature exclusively its
+own, viz., the study of <span class="smcap">Human Nature</span> in all its phases, including
+Phrenology, Physiognomy, Ethnology, Physiology, etc., together with
+the "<span class="smcap">Science of Health</span>," and no expense will be spared to make it the
+best publication for general circulation, tending always to make men
+better physically, mentally, and morally. Parents and teachers should
+read the <span class="smcap">Journal</span>, that they may better know how to govern and train
+their children. Young people should read the <span class="smcap">Journal</span>, that they may
+make the most of themselves. It has long met with the hearty approval
+of the press and the people.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><i>N. Y. Times</i> says: "<span class="smcap">The Phrenological Journal</span> proves that the
+increasing years of a periodical is no reason for its lessening its
+enterprise or for diminishing its abundance of interesting matter. If
+all magazines increased in merit as steadily as <span class="smcap">The Phrenological
+Journal</span>, they would deserve in time to show equal evidences of
+popularity."</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><i>Christian Union</i> says: "It is well known as a popular storehouse for
+useful thought. It teaches men to know themselves and constantly
+presents matters of the highest interest to intelligent readers, and
+has the advantage of having always been not only up with the times,
+but a <i>little in advance</i>. Its popularity shows the result of
+enterprise and brains."</p></div>
+
+<p><b>TERMS.</b>&mdash;The <span class="smcap">Journal</span> is published monthly at $2.40 a year, or 20 cents
+a Number. To each new subscriber is given either the <span class="smcap">Bust</span> or <span class="smcap">Chart</span>
+Premium described above. When the Premiums are sent, 13 cents extra
+must be received with each subscription to pay postage on the <span class="smcap">Journal</span>
+and the expense of boxing and packing the Bust, which will be sent by
+express, or No. 2, a smaller size, or the Chart Premium, will be sent
+by mail, post-paid.</p>
+
+<p>Send amount to P. O. Orders, P. N., Drafts on New York, or in
+Registered Letters. Postage-stamps will be received. <span class="smcap">Agents Wanted.</span>
+Send 10 cents for specimen Numbers, Premium List, Posters, etc.
+Address</p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 12em;"><b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.</b></span></p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<img src="images/img157.jpg" width="450" height="194" alt="Faces in profile" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM</h2>
+
+<div class="center">
+<b>A Complete Manual of<br /> Phrenology and Physiognomy for the People.</b><br /><br />
+
+<b>By PROF. NELSON SIZER, and H. S. DRAYTON, M.D.</b><br /><br />
+
+<b>Fully illustrated. Octavo, extra cloth, $1.00; paper edition, 40
+cents.</b>
+</div>
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<p>All claim to know something of <b><i>How to <span class="smcap">READ</span> Character</i></b>, but very few
+understand all the <b><i>Signs of Character</i></b> as shown in the <b><i>Head and
+Face</i></b>. The subject is one of great importance, and in this work the
+authors, Prof. Nelson Sizer, the phrenological examiner at the rooms
+of Fowler &amp; Wells Co., and Dr. H. S. Drayton, the editor of the
+<i>Phrenological Journal</i>, have considered it from a practical
+standpoint, and the subject is so simplified as to be of great
+interest and easily understood.</p>
+
+<p>The demand for standard publications of low price has increased
+greatly with the tendency of many bookmakers to meet it. Popular
+editions of the poets, historians, scientists have fallen in line with
+the hundreds and thousands of cheap editions of the better classes of
+novels; and now, in response to the often-expressed want of the
+studious and curious, we have this voluminous yet very low-priced
+treatise on "Heads and Faces" from the point of view of Phrenology,
+Physiognomy, and Physiology. Although so low-priced, as we have noted
+above, it is no flimsy, patched-up volume, but a careful, honest work,
+replete with instruction, fresh in thought, suggestive and inspiring.
+There are nearly two hundred illustrations, exhibiting a great variety
+of faces, human and animal, and many other interesting features of the
+much-sided subject that is considered. Taken at length it is one of
+the most complete books on face-study that has been issued by its
+publishers, and is a book that must create a demand wherever it is
+seen. The style in which it has been produced, the excellent paper,
+good presswork, numerous illustrations, and elegant, engaging cover,
+make it a phenomenon even in this cheap book day. Sent by mail,
+post-paid, on receipt of price, 40 cts. <span class="smcap">Agents Wanted.</span></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 6em;">Address, <b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.</b></span></p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p>
+<h3>A NEW BOOK.</h3>
+
+<h2><br />HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD;<br />
+
+<span class="small">OR,</span><br />
+
+HYGIENIC COOKERY.</h2>
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<div class="center"><b>By SUSANNA W. DODDS, M.D.</b></div>
+<hr class="quarter" />
+<div class="center">One large 12mo vol., 600 pp., extra cloth or oil-cloth. Price. $2.00.</div>
+<hr class="half" />
+
+<p>The author of this work is specially qualified for her task, as she is
+both a physician and a practical housekeeper. It is unquestionably the
+best work written on the healthful preparation of food, and should be
+in the hands of every housekeeper who wishes to prepare food
+healthfully and palatably. The best way and the reason why are given.
+It is complete in every department. To show something of what is
+thought of this work we copy a few brief extracts from the many.</p>
+
+
+<h3>NOTICES OF THE PRESS.</h3>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"This work contains a great deal of excellent advice about wholesome
+food and gives directions for preparing many dishes in a way that will
+make luxuries for the palate out of many simple productions of Nature
+which are now lost by a vicious cookery."&mdash;<i>Home Journal.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Another book on cookery, and one that appears to be fully the equal
+in all respects and superior to many of its predecessors. Simplicity
+is sought to be blended with science, economy with all the enjoyments
+of the table, and health and happiness with an ample household
+liberally. Every purse and every taste will find in Mrs. Dodds' book,
+material within its means of grasp for efficient kitchen
+administration."&mdash;<i>N. Y. Star.</i></p>
+
+<p>"The book can not fail to be of great value in every household to
+those who will intelligently appreciate the author's stand-point. And
+there are but few who will not concede that it would be a public
+benefit if our people generally would become better informed as to the
+better mode of living than the author intends."&mdash;<i>Scientific
+American.</i></p>
+
+<p>"She evidently knows what she is writing about, and her book is
+eminently practical upon every page. It is more than a book of recipes
+for making soups, and pies, and cake; it is a educator of how to make
+the home the abode of healthful people."&mdash;<i>The Daily Inter-Ocean</i>,
+Chicago, Ill.</p>
+
+<p>"The book is a good one, and should be given a place in every
+well-regulated <i>cuisine</i>."&mdash;<i>Indianapolis Journal.</i></p>
+
+<p>"As a comprehensive work on the subject of healthful cookery, there is
+no other in print which is superior, and which brings the subject so
+clearly and squarely to the understanding of an average
+housekeeper."&mdash;<i>Methodist Recorder.</i></p>
+
+<p>"In this book Dr. Dodds deals with the whole subject scientifically,
+and yet has made her instructions entirely practical. This book will
+certainly prove useful, and if its precepts could be universally
+followed, without doubt human life would be considerably
+lengthened."&mdash;<i>Springfield Union.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Here is a cook-book prepared by an educated lady physician. It seems
+to be a very sensible addition to the voluminous literature on this
+subject, which ordinarily has little reference to the hygienic
+character of the preparations which are described."&mdash;<i>Zion's Herald.</i></p>
+
+<p>"This one seems to us to be most sensible and practical, while yet
+based upon scientific principles&mdash;in short, the best. If it were in
+every household, there would be far less misery in the world."&mdash;<i>South
+and West.</i></p>
+
+<p>"There is much good sense in the book, and there is plenty of occasion
+for attacking the ordinary methods of cooking, as well as the common
+style of diet."&mdash;<i>Morning Star.</i></p>
+
+<p>"She sets forth the why and wherefore of cookery, and devotes the
+larger portion of the work to those articles essential to good blood,
+strong bodies, and vigorous minds."&mdash;<i>New Haven Register.</i></p></div>
+
+<p>The work will be sent to any address, by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price, $2.00. <span class="smcap">Agents Wanted</span>, to whom special terms will be given.
+Send for terms. Address</p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 12em;"><b>FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.</b></span></p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;">
+<img src="images/img159.jpg" width="500" height="505" alt="Phrenological chart" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="center">Names of the Faculties.</div>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">1. <span class="smcap">Amativeness.</span>&mdash;Connubial love, affection.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">A. <span class="smcap">Conjugal Love.</span>&mdash;Union for life, pairing instinct.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">2. <span class="smcap">Parental Love.</span>&mdash;Care of offspring, and all young.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">3. <span class="smcap">Friendship.</span>&mdash;Sociability, union of friends.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">4. <span class="smcap">Inhabitiveness.</span>&mdash;Love of home and country.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">5. <span class="smcap">Continuity.</span>&mdash;Application, consecutiveness.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">A. <span class="smcap">Vitativeness.</span>&mdash;Clinging to life, tenacity.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">6. <span class="smcap">Combativeness.</span> Defense, courage.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">7. <span class="smcap">Destructiveness.</span>&mdash;Executiveness.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">8. <span class="smcap">Alimentiveness.</span>&mdash;Appetite for food, etc.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">9. <span class="smcap">Acquisitiveness.</span>&mdash;Frugality, economy.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">10. <span class="smcap">Secretiveness.</span>&mdash;Self-control, policy.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">11. <span class="smcap">Cautiousness.</span>&mdash;Guardedness, safety.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">12. <span class="smcap">Approbativeness.</span>&mdash;Love of applause.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">13. <span class="smcap">Self-esteem.</span>&mdash;Self-respect, dignity.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">14. <span class="smcap">Firmness.</span>&mdash;Stability, perseverance.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">15. <span class="smcap">Conscientiousness.</span>&mdash;Sense of right.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">16. <span class="smcap">Hope.</span>&mdash;Expectation, anticipation.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">17. <span class="smcap">Spirituality.</span>&mdash;Intuition, prescience.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">18. <span class="smcap">Veneration.</span>&mdash;Worship, adoration.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">19. <span class="smcap">Benevolence.</span>&mdash;Sympathy, kindness.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">20. <span class="smcap">Constructiveness.</span>&mdash;Ingenuity, tools.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">21. <span class="smcap">Ideality.</span>&mdash;<i>Taste</i>, love of beauty, poetry.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">B. <span class="smcap">Sublimity.</span>&mdash;Love of the grand, vast.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">22. <span class="smcap">Imitation.</span>&mdash;Copying, aptitude.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">23. <span class="smcap">Mirth.</span>&mdash;Fun, wit, ridicule, facetiousness.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">24. <span class="smcap">Individuality.</span>&mdash;Observation, to see.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">25. <span class="smcap">Form.</span>&mdash;Memory, <i>shape</i>, looks, persons.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">26. <span class="smcap">Size.</span>&mdash;Measurement of quantity.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">27. <span class="smcap">Weight.</span>&mdash;Control of motion, balancing.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">28. <span class="smcap">Color.</span>&mdash;Discernment, and love of color.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">29. <span class="smcap">Order.</span>&mdash;<i>Method</i>, system, going by <i>rule</i>.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">30. <span class="smcap">Calculation.</span>&mdash;Mental arithmetic.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">31. <span class="smcap">Locality.</span>&mdash;Memory of place, position.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">32. <span class="smcap">Eventuality.</span>&mdash;Memory of facts, events.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">33. <span class="smcap">Time.</span>&mdash;Telling <i>when</i>, time of day, dates.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">34. <span class="smcap">Tune.</span>&mdash;Love of music, singing.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">35. <span class="smcap">Language.</span>&mdash;<i>Expression</i> by words, acts.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">36. <span class="smcap">Causality.</span>&mdash;<i>Planning</i>, thinking.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">37. <span class="smcap">Comparison.</span>&mdash;Analysis, inferring.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">C. <span class="smcap">Human Nature.</span>&mdash;Sagacity.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">D. <span class="smcap">Suavity.</span>&mdash;<i>Pleasantness</i>, blandness.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<p>For complete definitions of all the organs of the <span class="smcap">brain</span>, and the
+features of the <span class="smcap">face</span>, see <b>New Physiognomy</b> by <span class="smcap">S. R. Wells</span>, with 1,000
+Illustrations. Price, post-paid, $5, $8, and $10, according to styles
+of binding.</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p>
+<h3>"<span class="smcap">Education Complete.</span>"</h3>
+
+<div class="adquot"><p><b>Education and Self-Improvement Complete.</b>&mdash;Comprising
+Physiology&mdash;Animal and Mental: Self-Culture and Perfection of
+Character: including the Management of Youth: Memory and Intellectual
+Improvement. Complete in one large, well-bound 12mo volume, with 855
+pp., and upward Seventy Engravings. Price, pre-paid, by mail. $3</p></div>
+
+<p>This work is, in all respects, one of the best educational hand-books
+in the English language. Any system of education that neglects the
+training and developing all that goes to make up a <span class="smcap">Man</span>, must
+necessarily be incomplete. The mind and body are so intimately related
+and connected that it is impossible to cultivate the former without it
+is properly supplemented by the latter. The work is subdivided into
+three departments&mdash;the first devoted to the preservation and
+restoration of health and the improvement of mentality; the second to
+the regulation of the feelings and perfection of the moral character;
+and the third, to the intellectual cultivation. "<span class="smcap">Education Complete</span>"
+is a library in itself, and covers the <span class="smcap">entire Nature of Man</span>. We append
+below a synopsis of the table of contents:</p>
+
+
+<h4>HEALTH OF BODY AND POWER OF MIND.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Physiology&mdash;Animal and Mental Health&mdash;its Laws and Preservation.</span>
+Happiness constitutional; Pain not necessary; Object of all Education;
+Reciprocation existing between Body and Mind; Health defined;
+Sickness&mdash;not providential.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Food&mdash;its Necessity and Selection.</span>&mdash;Unperverted Appetite an Infallible
+Directory; Different Diets Feed Different Powers; How to Eat&mdash;or
+Mastication. Quantity, Time, etc.; How Appetite can be Restrained; The
+Digestive Process; Exercise after Meals.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Circulation, Respiration, Perspiration, Sleep.</span>&mdash;The Heart, its
+Structure and Office; The Circulatory System; The Lungs, their
+Structure and Functions; Respiration, and its importance;
+Perspiration; Prevention and Cure of Colds, and their consequences;
+Regulation of Temperature by Fire and Clothing; Sleep.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The Brain and Nervous System.</span>&mdash;Position, Function, and Structure of
+the Brain; Consciousness or the seat of the soul; Function of the
+Nerves; How to seep the Nervous system in Health; The Remedy of
+Diseases; Observance of the Laws of Health Effectual; The Drink of
+Dyspeptics&mdash;its kind, times and quantity; Promotion of Circulation;
+Consumption&mdash;its Prevention and Cure; Preventives of Insanity, etc.</p>
+
+
+<h4>SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Constituent Elements or Condition of Perfection of
+Character.</span>&mdash;Progression a Law of Things&mdash;its application to human
+improvement; Human perfectibility,&mdash;the harmonious action of all the
+faculties; Governing the propensities by the intellectual and moral
+faculties. Proof that the organs can be enlarged and diminished; The
+proper management of Youth, etc.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Analysis and Means of Strengthening of the Faculties.</span>&mdash;Amativeness;
+Philoprogenitiveness; Adhesiveness; Union for Life; Inhabitiveness;
+Continuity; Vitativeness; Combativeness; Destructiveness, or
+Executiveness; Alimentiveness; Aquativeness, or Bibativeness;
+Acquisitiveness; Secretiveness; Cautiousness; Approbativeness;
+Self-Esteem; Firmness. Conscientiousness; Hope; Spirituality&mdash;
+Marvelousness; Veneration; Benevolence; Constructiveness; Ideality;
+Sublimity; Initiation; Mirthfulness; Agreeableness&mdash;with engraved
+illustrations.</p>
+
+
+<h4>MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT APPLIED TO SELF-EDUCATION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Classification and Function of the Faculties.</span>&mdash;Man's superiority;
+Intellect his crowning endowment; How to strengthen and improve the
+Memory; Definition, location, analysis, and means of the strengthening
+the intellectual faculties. <span class="smcap">Individuality.</span> <span class="smcap">Form.</span> <span class="smcap">Size.</span> <span class="smcap">Weight.</span> <span class="smcap">Color.</span>
+<span class="smcap">Order.</span> <span class="smcap">Calculation.</span> <span class="smcap">Locality.</span> <span class="smcap">Eventuality.</span> <span class="smcap">Time.</span> <span class="smcap">Tune</span>: Influence of
+Music. <span class="smcap">Language</span>: Power of Eloquence &amp; Good Language. <span class="smcap">Phonography</span>: its
+advantages. <span class="smcap">Causality</span>: Teaching others to think; Astronomy; Anatomy
+and Physiology; Study of Nature. <span class="smcap">Comparison</span>: Inductive reasoning.
+<span class="smcap">Human Nature</span>: Adaptation.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Developments Requiring for Particular Avocations.</span>&mdash;Good Teachers;
+Clergymen; Physician; Lawyers; Statesmen; Editors; Authors; Public
+Speakers; Poets; Lecturers; Merchants; Mechanics; Artists; Painters;
+Farmers; Engineers; Landlords; Printers; Milliners; Seamstresses;
+Fancy Workers, and the like.</p>
+
+<p>Full and explicit directions are given for the cultivation and
+direction of all the powers of the mind, instruction for finding the
+exact location of each organ, and its relative size compared with
+others.</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p>
+<h2><span class="medium">WORKS PUBLISHED BY</span><br /><br />
+
+FOWLER &amp; WELLS CO., New York.</h2>
+
+<hr class="quarter" />
+
+<h3>PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOGNOMY.</h3>
+
+<p><b>Phrenological Journal and Science of Health</b>&mdash;Devoted to Ethnology,
+Physiology, Phrenology, Physiognomy, Psychology, Sociology, Biography,
+Education, Literature, etc., with Measures to Reform, Elevate and
+Improve Mankind Physically, Mentally and Spiritually. Monthly, $2.00 a
+year; 20c. a number. Bound vols. $3.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Expression</b>: its Anatomy and Philosophy. Illustrated by Sir Charles
+Bell. Additional Notes and Illustrations by <span class="smcap">Samuel R. Wells</span>. $1.</p>
+
+<p><b>Education of the Feelings and Affections.</b> Charles Bray. Edited by
+<span class="smcap">Nelson Sizer</span>. Cloth, $1.50.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>This work gives full and definite directions for the
+cultivation or restraining of all the faculties relating to the
+feelings or affections.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Combe's System of Phrenology</b>; With 100 Engravings. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Combe's Constitution of Man</b>; Considered in Relation to external
+objects. With twenty engravings, and portrait of author. $1.25.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The "Constitution of Man" is a work with which every teacher
+and every pupil should be acquainted.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Combe's Lectures on Phrenology</b>; with Notes, an Essay on the
+Phrenological Mode of Investigation, and an Historical Sketch, by <span class="smcap">A.
+Boardman</span>, M.D. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Combe's Moral Philosophy</b>; or, the Duties of Man considered in his
+Individual, Domestic, and Social Capacities. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Study Character; or, the True Basis for the Science of Mind</b>.
+Including a Review of Bain's Criticism of Phrenology. By Thos. A.
+Hyde. 50c.; clo. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>New Descriptive Chart</b>, for the Use of examiners in the Delineation of
+Character. By S. R. Wells. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>New Physiognomy; or Signs of Character</b>, as manifested through
+Temperament and External Forms, and especially in the "Human Face
+Divine." With more than One Thousand Illustrations. By Samuel R.
+Wells. In one 12mo volume, 768 pages, muslin, $5.00; in heavy calf,
+marbled edges, $8.00; Turkey morocco, full gilt, $10.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"The treatise of Mr. Wells, which is admirably printed and
+profusely illustrated, is probably the most complete hand-book
+upon the subject in the language."&mdash;<i>N. Y. Tribune.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>How to read Character.</b>&mdash;A new illustrated Hand-book of Phrenology and
+Physiognomy, for Students and Examiners, with a chart for recording
+the sizes of the different Organs of the brain in the Delineation of
+Character; with upward of 170 Engravings. By S. R. Wells. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Wedlock; or, the Right Relations of the Sexes</b>. Disclosing the Laws of
+Conjugal Selection, and showing Who May Marry. By S. R. Wells. $1.50;
+gilt, $2.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Brain and Mind</b>; or Mental Science Considered in Accordance with the
+Principles of Phrenology and in Relation to Modern Physiology. <span class="smcap">H. S.
+Drayton M.D., and J. McNeill.</span> $1.50.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>This is the latest and best work published. It constitutes a
+complete text-book of Phrenology, is profusely illustrated, and
+will adapted to the use of students.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Indications of Character</b>, as manifested in the general shape of the
+head and form of the face. <span class="smcap">H. S. Drayton, M.D.</span> Illus. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Study Phrenology.</b>&mdash;With Suggestions to Students, Lists of Best
+Works, Constitutions for Societies, etc. 12mo, paper, 10c.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><b>Choice of Pursuits: or, What to Do and Why</b> . Describing Seventy-five
+Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required for
+each. With Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers and
+Workers. By Nelson Sizer. $1.75.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Teach According to Temperament and Mental Development</b> ; or,
+Phrenology in the Schoolroom and the Family. By Nelson Sizer.
+Illustrated. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Forty Years in Phrenology.</b>&mdash;Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdotes and Experience. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Thoughts on Domestic Life; or,</b> Marriage Vindicated and Free Love
+Exposed. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Cathechism of Phrenology.&mdash;Illustrating</b> the Principles of the Science
+by means of Questions and Answers. Revised and enlarged by Nelson
+Sizer. 50c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Heads and Faces: How to Study Them</b> . A Complete Manual of Phrenology
+and Physiognomy for the People. By Prof. Nelson Sizer and H. S.
+Drayton, M.D. Nearly 200 octavo pages and 200 illustrations, price in
+paper, 40c.; ex. clo. $1.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>All claim to know something of How to Read Character but very
+few understand all the Signs of Character as shown in the Head
+and Face. This is a study of which one never tires; it is
+always fresh, for you have always new text books. The book is
+really a great Album of Portraits, and will be found of
+interest for the illustrations alone.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Memory and Intellectual Improvement</b>, applied to Self-Education and
+Juvenile Instruction. By <span class="smcap">O. S. Fowler</span>. $1.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The best work on the subject.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Hereditary Descent.</b>&mdash;Its Laws and Facts applied to Human Improvement.
+By O. S Fowler. Illustrated. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Science of the Mind applied to Teaching</b> : Including the Human
+Temperaments and their influence upon the Mind; The Analysis of the
+Mental Faculties and how to develop and train them; The Theory of
+Education and of the School, and Normal Methods of teaching the common
+English branches. By Prof. <span class="smcap">U. J. Hoffman</span>. Profusely illustrated.
+$1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Reminiscences of Dr. Spurzheim and George Combe</b>  and a Review of the
+Science of Phrenology from the period of its discovery by Dr. <span class="smcap">Gali</span> to
+the time of the visit of <span class="smcap">George Combe</span> to the United States, with a
+portrait of Dr. <span class="smcap">Spurzheim</span>, by <span class="smcap">Nahem Capen</span>, LL.D. Ex. clo. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Education and Self-Improvement Complete</b> : Comprising "Physiology,
+Animal and Mental," "Self-culture and Perfection of Character,"
+"Memory and Intellectual Improvement." By <span class="smcap">O. S. Fowler</span>. One large vol.
+Illus. $3.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Self-Culture and Perfection of Character</b> ; Including the Management of
+Children and Youth. $1.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>One of the best of the author's works.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Physiology, Animal and Mental:</b> Applied to the Preservation and
+Restoration of Health of Body and Power of Mind. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Phrenology Proved, Illustrated and Applied</b> . Embracing an Analysis of
+the Primary Mental Powers in their Various Degrees of Development, and
+location of the Phrenological Organs. The Mental Phenomena produced by
+their combined action, and the location of the faculties amply
+illustrated. By the Fowler Brothers. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Self-Instructor in Phrenology and Physiology</b> . With over One Hundred
+Engravings and a Chart for Phrenologists, for the Recording of
+Phrenological Development. By the Fowler Brothers. 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><b>Phrenological Miscellany of Illustrated Annuals of Phrenology and
+Physiognomy</b> , from 1865 to 1873 combined in one volume containing over
+400 illustrations, many portraits and biographies of distinguished
+personages. $1.50</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Redfield's Comparative Physiognomy</b>; or resemblances Between Men and
+Animals, Illustrated. $2.50</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Phrenology and the Scriptures.</b>&mdash;Showing the Harmony between Phrenology
+and the Bible. 15 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Phrenological Chart.</b> A symbolical Head 12 inches across, Lithographed
+in colors, on paper 19 &times; 24 inches, mounted for hanging on the wall,
+or suitable for framing. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Education: Its Elementary Principles Founded on the Nature of Man</b> . By
+J. G. Spurzheim, $1.25</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Natural Laws of Man.</b>&mdash;A Philosophical Catechism. Sixth Edition.
+Enlarged and improved by J. G. Spurzheim, M.D. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Lectures on Mental Science.</b>&mdash;According to the philosophy of
+Phrenology. Delivered before the Anthropological Society. By Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. Illustrated. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Phrenological Bust.</b>&mdash;Showing the latest classification and exact
+location of the Organs of the Brain. It is divided so as to show each
+individual Organ on one side; with all the groups Social, Executive,
+Intellectual and Moral, classified on the other. Large size (not
+mailable) $1. Small 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<h3>WORKS ON MAGNETISM.</h3>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>There is an increasing interest in the facts relating to Magnetism,
+etc., and we present below a list of Works on this subject.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Library of Mesmerism and Psychology.</b>&mdash;Comprising the Philosophy of
+Mesmerism, Clairvoyance, Mental Electricity.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Fascination</span>, or the
+Power of Charming. Illustrating the Principles of Life in connection
+with Spirit and Matter.&mdash;<span class="smcap">The Macrocosm</span> or the Universe Without, being
+an unfolding of the plan of Creation and the Correspondence of
+Truths.&mdash;<span class="smcap">The Philosophy of Electrical Psychology</span>; the Doctrine of
+impressions, including the connection between Mind and Matter, also,
+the Treatment of Diseases.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Psychology</span> or the Science of the Soul,
+considered Physiologically and Philosophically; with an Appendix
+containing Notes of Mesmeric and Psychical experience and
+Illustrations of the Brain and Nervous System. $3.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Philosophy of Mesmerism.</b>&mdash;By Dr. John Bovee Dods. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Philosophy of Electrical Psychology.</b> A course of Twelve Lectures.
+$1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Practical Instructions in Animal Magnetism</b> . By J. P. F. Deleuze.
+Translated by Thomas C. Hartshorn. New and Revised edition, with an
+appendix of notes by the Translator and Letters from Eminent
+Physicians and others. $2.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>History of Salem Witchcraft.</b>&mdash;A review of Charles W. Upham's great
+Work from the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, with Notes by Samuel R. Wells
+containing also, The Planchette Mystery, Spiritualism, by Mrs. Harriet
+Beecher Stowe, and Dr. Doddridge's Dream. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Fascination: or, the Philosophy of Charming</b> . Illustrating the
+Principles of Life in connection with Spirit and Matter. By J. B.
+Newman, M.D. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Magnetize, or Magnetism and Clairvoyance</b> .&mdash;A Practical Treatise
+on the Choice, Management and Capabilities of Subjects, with
+Instructions on the Method of Procedure. By J. V. Wilson. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p>
+<h3>HEALTH BOOKS.</h3>
+
+<div class="center"><i>This List Comprises the Best Works on Hygiene, Health, Etc.</i></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Health in the Household or Hygienic Cookery</b> ; by Susanna W. Dodds, M.D.
+12mo. ex. clo. $2.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>A novice in housekeeping will not be puzzled by this admirable
+book, it is so simple, systematic, practical and withal
+productive of much household pleasure, not only by means of the
+delicious food prepared from its recipes, but through the
+saving of labor and care to the housewife.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>Household Remedies.</b>&mdash;For the prevalent Disorders of the Human
+Organism, by Felix Oswald, M.D. 12mo. pp. 229 $1.00.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The author of this work is one of the keenest and most critical
+writers on medical subjects now before the public. He writes
+soundly and practically. He is an enthusiastic apostle of the
+gospel of hygiene. We predict that his book will win many
+converts to the faith and prove a valuable aid to those who are
+already of the faith but are asking for "more light."</p>
+
+<p>Among the special ailments herein considered are Consumption,
+Asthma, Dyspepsia, Climatic Fevers, Enteric Disorders, Nervous
+Maladies, Catarrh, Pleurisy, etc.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>The Temperaments</b>, or <span class="smcap">Varieties of Physical Constitution in Man</span>,
+considered in their relation to Mental Character and Practical Affairs
+of Life. With an Introduction by H. S. Drayton, A. M. Editor of the
+<span class="smcap">Phrenological Journal</span>. 150 Portraits and other illustrations, by D. H.
+Jacques, M.D. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Grow Handsome</b>, or <span class="smcap">Hints toward Physical Perfection</span> and the
+Philosophy of Human Beauty, showing How to Acquire and Retain Bodily
+Symmetry, Health and Vigor, secure long life and avoid the infirmities
+and deformities of age. New Edition, $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Medical Electricity.</b>&mdash;A Manual for Students, showing the most
+Scientific and Rational Application to all forms of Diseases, of the
+different combinations of Electricity, Galvanism, Electro-Magnetism.
+Magneto-Electricity, and Human Magnetism, by W. White, M.D. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Man Wonderful in the House Beautiful</b> .&mdash;An allegory teaching the
+Principles of Physiology and Hygiene, and the effects of Stimulants
+and Narcotics, by Drs. C. B. and Mary A. Allen. $1.50.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>To all who enjoy studies pertaining to the human body this book
+will prove a boon. The accomplished physician, the gentle
+mother, the modest girl, and the wide-awake school-boy will
+find pleasure in its perusal. It is wholly unlike any book
+previously published on the subject, and is such a thorough
+teacher that progressive parents cannot afford to do without
+it.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>The Family Physician.</b>&mdash;A Ready Prescriber and Hygienic Advisor With
+Reference to the Nature, Causes, Prevention and Treatment of Diseases,
+Accidents and Casualties of every kind with a Glossary and copious
+index. Illustrated with nearly three hundred engravings, by Joel Shaw,
+M.D. $3.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Feed the Baby to Make her Healthy and Happy</b> , by C. E. Page, M.D.
+12mo. third edition, revised and enlarged. Paper, 50c. extra cloth.
+75c.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>This is the most important work ever published on the subject
+of infant dietetics.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><b>The Natural Cure of Consumption</b>, Constipation, Bright's Disease,
+Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Colds, Fevers, etc. How these Disorders
+Originate and How to Prevent Them. By C. E. Page, M.D. cloth, $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Horses</b>, <span class="smcap">their Feed and their Feet</span>. A Manual of Horse Hygiene.
+Invaluable to the veteran or the novice, pointing out the true sources
+of disease, and how to prevent and counteract them. By C. E. Page,
+M.D. Paper 50c.; cloth 75c.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>This is the best book on the care of horses ever published,
+worth many times its cost to every horse owner.</p></div>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><b>The Movement Cure.</b>&mdash;The History and Philosophy, of this System of
+Medical Treatment, with examples of Single Movements, The Principles
+of Massage, and directions for their Use in various Forms of Chronic
+Diseases. New edition by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Massage.</b>&mdash;Giving the Principles and directions for its application in
+all Forms of Chronic Diseases, by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Science of a New Life.</b>&mdash;By John Cowan, M.D. Ex. clo. $3.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Tobacco</b>: <span class="smcap">Its Physical, Intellectual and Moral Effects on the Human
+System</span>, by Dr. Alcott. New and revised edition with notes and
+additions by N. Sizer. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Sober and Temperate Life.</b>&mdash;The Discourses and Letters of Louis Corbaro
+on a Sober and Temperate Life. 50c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Smoking and Drinking.</b> By James Parton. 50c.; cloth. 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Food and Diet.</b> With observations on the Dietetical Regimen, suited for
+Disordered States of the Digestive Organs, by J. Pereira, M.D., F.R.S.
+$1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Principles Applied to the Preservation of Health</b> and the improvement
+of Physical and Mental Education, by Andrew Combe, M.D. Illustrated,
+cloth, $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Water Cure In Chronic Diseases.</b> An Exposition of the Causes, Progress,
+and Termination of various Chronic Diseases of the Digestive Organs,
+Lungs, Nerves. Limbs and Skin, and of their Treatment by Water and
+other hygienic Means. By J. M. Gully, M.D. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Science of Human Life.</b> With a copious Index and Biographical Sketch of
+the author, Sylvester Graham. Illustrated, $3.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Management of Infancy, Physiological and Moral Treatment</b>. With Notes
+and a Supplementary Chapter. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Diet Question.</b>&mdash;Giving the Reason Why, from "Health in the Household."
+by S. W. Dodds, M.D. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Health Miscellany.</b>&mdash;An important collection of Health Papers. Nearly
+100 octavo pages. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Be Well, or Common Sense Medical Hygiene</b>. A book for the
+People, giving directions for the Treatment and Cure of Acute Diseases
+without the use of Drug Medicines; also General Hints on Health. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Foreordained.</b>&mdash;A Story of Heredity and of Special Paternal Influences,
+by an Observer. 12mo. pp. 90. Paper, 50c.; extra cloth, 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Consumption</b>, its Prevention and Cure by the Movement Cure. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Notes on Beauty, Vigor and Development</b>; or, How to Acquire Plumpness
+of Form, Strength of Limb and Beauty of Complexion. Illustrated. 10c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Tea and Coffee.</b>&mdash;Their Physical, Intellectual and Moral Effects on the
+Human System, by Dr. Alcott. NEW and revised edition with notes and
+additions by Nelson Sizer. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Accidents and Emergencies</b>, a guide containing Directions for the
+Treatment in Bleeding, Cuts. Sprains, Ruptures, Dislocations. Burns
+and Scalds. Bites of Mad Dogs. Choking, Poisons, Fits, Sunstrokes,
+Drowning, etc., by Alfred Smee, with Notes and additions by R. T.
+Trall, M.D. New and revised edition. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Special List.</b>&mdash;We have in addition to the above, Private Medical Works
+and Treatises. This Special List will be sent on receipt of stamp.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></p>
+<h3>WORKS ON HYGIENE BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.</h3>
+
+<div class="center"><i>These works may be considered standard from the reformatory<br /> hygienic
+standpoint. Thousands of people owe their<br /> lives and good health to
+their teaching.</i></div>
+
+<p><b>Hydropathic Encyclopedia.</b>&mdash;A System of Hydropathy and Hygiene.
+Physiology of the Human Body; Dietetics and Hydropathic Cookery;
+Theory and Practice of Water Treatment; Special Pathology and
+Hydro-Therapeutics, including the Nature, Causes, Symptoms and
+Treatment of all known diseases; Application of Hydropathy to
+Midwifery and the Nursery with nearly One Thousand Pages including a
+Glossary. 2 vols. in one $4.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Hygienic Hand-Book.</b>&mdash;Intended as a Practical Guide for the Sick-room.
+Arranged alphabetically. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Illustrated Family Gymnasium.</b>&mdash;Containing the most improved methods of
+applying Gymnastic, Callisthenic, Kinesipathic and Vocal Exercises to
+the Development of the Bodily Organs, the invigoration of their
+functions, the preservation of Health and the Cure of Diseases and
+Deformities. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Hydropathic Cook-Book</b>, with Recipes for Cooking on Hygienic
+Principles. Containing also a Philosophical Exposition of the
+Relations of Food to Health, the Chemical Elements and Proximate
+Constitution of Alimentary Principles; the Nutritive Properties of all
+kinds of Aliments; the Relative value of Vegetable and Animal
+Substances; the Selection and Preservation of Dietetic Material, etc.
+$1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Fruits and Farinacea: the Proper Food of Man</b>.&mdash;Being an attempt to
+prove by History, Anatomy, Physiology and Chemistry that the Original,
+Natural and Best Diet of Man is derived from the Vegetable Kingdom. By
+John Smith. With Notes by Trall. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Digestion and Dyspepsia.</b>&mdash;A Complete Explanation of the Physiology of
+the Digestive Processes, with the Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsia
+and other Disorders. Illustrated. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Mother's Hygiene Hand-Book</b> for the Normal Development and Training
+of Women and Children, and the Treatment of their Diseases. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Popular Physiology.</b>&mdash;A Familiar Exposition of the Structures,
+Functions and Relations of the Human System and the Preservation of
+Health. $1.25.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The True Temperance Platform.</b>&mdash;An Exposition of the Fallacy of
+Alcoholic Medication. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Alcoholic Controversy.</b>&mdash;A Review of the <i>Westminster Review</i> on
+the Physiological Errors of Teetotalism. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Human Voice.</b>&mdash;Its Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, Therapeutics and
+Training, with Rules of Order for Lyceums. 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The True Healing Art</b>: <span class="smcap">or Hygienic</span> <i>vs.</i> Drug Medication. An Address
+delivered before the Smithsonian Institute, Washington. D. C. 25 cts.;
+clo., 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Water-Cure for the Million.</b>&mdash;The processes of Water Cure Explained.
+Rules for Bathing, Dieting, Exercising, Recipes for Cooking, etc.,
+etc. Directions for Home Treatment. Paper. 15 cts.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Hygeian Home Cook-Book</b>: <span class="smcap">or Healthful and Palatable Food without
+Condiments</span>. 25 cts. clo., 50 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Diseases of Throat and Lungs.</b>&mdash;Including Diphtheria and its Proper
+Treatment. 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Bath.</b>&mdash;Its History and Uses in Health and Disease. 35c.; clo.,
+50c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>A Health Catechism.</b>&mdash;Questions and Answers. With Illus. 10 c.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span></p>
+<h3>MISCELLANEOUS WORKS.</h3>
+
+<p><b>Hand-Books for Home Improvement</b> (<span class="smcap">Educational</span>); comprising, "How to
+Write," "How to Talk," "How to Behave," and "How to do Business." One
+12mo vol. $2.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Write.</b>&mdash;A manual of Composition and Letter-Writing. 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Talk.</b>&mdash;A Pocket Manual of Conversation and Debate, more than
+Five Hundred Common Mistakes in Speaking Corrected. 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Behave.</b>&mdash;A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette and Guide to
+Correct Personal Habits with Rules for Debating Societies and
+Deliberative Assemblies. 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Do Business.</b>&mdash;A Manual of Practical Affairs and a Guide to
+Success in Life, with a Collection of Legal and Commercial Forms. 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Read.</b>&mdash;What and Why; or Hints in Choosing the Best Books, with
+a Classified List of Best Works in Biography, Criticism, Fine Arts,
+History, Novels, Poetry, Science, Religion, Foreign Languages, etc. By
+A. V. Petit. Cloth, 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Sing</b>; or, the Voice and How to Use it. By William H. Daniell.
+50c.; clo. 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Conduct a Public Meeting</b>; or the Chairman's Guide for
+Conducting Meetings. 15c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Hopes and Helps for the Young of Both Sexes</b>.&mdash;Relating to the
+Formation of Character, Choice of Avocation, Health, Amusement, Music,
+Conversation, Social Affections, Courtship and Marriage, by Rev G. S.
+Weaver. $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women</b>, on the Various Duties of
+Life. Including Physical, Intellectual and Moral Development, Dress,
+Beauty, Fashion, Employment, Education, the Home Relations, their
+Duties to Young Men, Marriage, Womanhood and Happiness, by the same
+$1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Ways of Life</b>, showing the Right Way and the Wrong Way Contrasting the
+High Way and the Low Way; the True Way and the False Way; the Upward
+Way and the Downward Way; the Way of Honor and of Dishonor, by Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Christian Household.</b>&mdash;Embracing the Husband, Wife, Father, Mother,
+Child, Brother and Sister, by Rev. G. S. Weaver. 75c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Weaver's Works for the Young</b>, Comprising "Hopes and Helps for the
+Young of Both Sexes," "Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women," "Ways
+of Life; or, the Right Way and the Wrong Way." One Vol. 12mo. $2.50</p>
+
+
+<p><b>A Natural System of Elocution and Oratory</b>.&mdash;Founded on an analysis of
+the Human Constitution, considered in its threefold Nature, Mental,
+Physiological and Expressional. By <span class="smcap">Thos. A. Hyde</span> and <span class="smcap">Wm. Hyde</span>.
+Illustrated. $2.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Emphatic Diaglott</b>, Containing the Original Greek Text of <span class="smcap">The New
+Testament</span>, with an interlineary Word-for-Word English Translation: a
+New Emphatic Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on the
+Readings of the Vatican Manuscript, by Benjamin Wilson. 884 pp. $4.00.
+ex., $5.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>A Bachelor's Talks about Married Life and Things Adjacent</b>, by Rev.
+William Aikman, D.D. $1.50</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Life at Home</b>; or The Family and its members. Including Husbands and
+Wives, Parents, Children, Brothers, Sisters, Employers and Employed.
+The Altar in the House. By Dr. Aikman. $1.50. gilt. $2.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>A Lucky Waif.</b>&mdash;A story for Mothers, of Home and School Life, by Ellen
+E. Kenyon. 12mo. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Oratory&mdash;Sacred and Secular</b>; or, the Extemporaneous Speaker, including
+a Chairman's Guide for conducting Public Meetings according to the
+best Parliamentary forms, by Wm. Pittenger. $1.00.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p>
+<p><b>The Children of the Bible.</b> By Fanny L. Armstrong, with an Introduction
+by Frances E. Willard, Pres. N. W. C. T. U. clo. $1.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Temperance Reformation.</b>&mdash;Its History from the first Temperance
+Society in the U. S. to the Adoption of the Maine Liquor Law. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>&AElig;sop's Fables.</b>&mdash;With Seventy Splendid Illustrations. One vol. 12mo.
+fancy cloth, gilt edges, $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Pope's Essay on Man</b>, with illustrations and Notes by S. R. Wells,
+tinted paper, clo. full gilt. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Gems of Goldsmith</b>; "The Traveler," "The Deserted Village," "The
+Hermit." With notes and Original Illustrations, and Biographical
+Sketch of the great author. One vol., fancy cloth, full gilt. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.</b> In Seven Parts. By Samuel T.
+Coleridge. With new illus. by Chapman, fancy clo., full gilt, $1.00</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Immortality Inherent in Nature.</b> By Sumner Barlow, author of "The
+Voices" and other poems, ex. cloth, full gilt. 60c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Paint.</b>&mdash;A Complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the use
+of Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants and Farmers, and a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain Common sense statement of the
+Methods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every Description including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling. Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, with
+Formulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Various
+Pigments used; tools required etc. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Carriage Painter's Illustrated Manual</b>, containing a Treatise on the
+Art, Science and Mystery of Coach, Carriage, and Car Painting.
+Including the Improvements in Fine Gilding, Bronzing, Staining,
+Varnishing, Polishing, Copying, Lettering, Scrolling, and Ornamenting.
+By F. B. Gardner. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Keep a Store</b>; embodying the Experience of Thirty Years, in
+Merchandizing. By S. H. Terry. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Raise Fruit.</b>&mdash;A Hand-book. Being a Guide to the Cultivation and
+Management of Fruit Trees, and of Grapes and Small Fruits. With
+Descriptions of the Best and Most Popular Varieties. Illustrated. By
+Thomas Gregg. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to be Weather-Wise.</b>&mdash;A new View of our Weather System, by I. P.
+Noyes. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>How to Live.</b>&mdash;Saving and Wasting; or, Domestic Economy Illustrated by
+the Life of two Families of Opposite Character, Habits, and Practices,
+Useful Lessons in Housekeeping and Hints How to Live, How to Have, and
+How to be Happy including the Story of "A Dime a Day," by Solon
+Robinson. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Homes for All; or the Gravel Wall.</b> A New Cheap and Superior Mode of
+Building, adapted to Rich and Poor. Showing the Superiority of the
+Gravel Concrete over Brick, Stone and Frame Houses; Manner of Making
+and Depositing it. By O. S. Fowler. $1.00.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>The Model Potato.</b>&mdash;Proper cultivation and mode of cooking. 30c.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Three Visits to America</b>, by Emily Faithful. 400 pages. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>A New Theory of the Origin of Species</b>. By Benj. G. Farris. $1.50.</p>
+
+
+<p><b>Man in Genesis and in Geology, or</b>, the Biblical Account of Man's
+Creation tested by Scientific Theories of his Origin and Antiquity, by
+J. P. Thompson, D.D., LL.D. $1.00</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
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+</pre>
+
+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,6885 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
+Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits, by Samuel R Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits
+       Embracing An Exposition Of The Principles Of Good Manners;
+       Useful Hints On The Care Of The Person, Eating, Drinking,
+       Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-Culture, And Behavior At
+       Home; The Etiquette Of Salutations, Introductions,
+       Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation,
+       Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, The Street, The
+       Church, Places Of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., With
+       Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship,
+       and Rules of Order for Debating Societies
+
+Author: Samuel R Wells
+
+Release Date: September 12, 2008 [EBook #26597]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW TO BEHAVE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Karen Dalrymple, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images from the Mann Library, Cornell
+University.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT--No. III_
+
+
+
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE
+
+A POCKET MANUAL
+
+OF
+
+Republican Etiquette,
+
+AND
+
+GUIDE TO CORRECT PERSONAL HABITS,
+
+EMBRACING
+
+AN EXPOSITION OF THE PRINCIPLES OF GOOD MANNERS; USEFUL HINTS ON THE
+CARE OF THE PERSON, EATING, DRINKING, EXERCISE, HABITS, DRESS,
+SELF-CULTURE, AND BEHAVIOR AT HOME; THE ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS,
+INTRODUCTIONS, RECEPTIONS, VISITS, DINNERS, EVENING PARTIES,
+CONVERSATION, LETTERS, PRESENTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE STREET, THE
+CHURCH, PLACES OF AMUSEMENT, TRAVELING, ETC.,
+
+WITH
+
+Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of
+Order for Debating Societies.
+
+
+[Signature: Samuel R. (Roberts) Wells]
+
+
+  The air and manner which we neglect, as little things, are
+  frequently what the world judges us by, and makes them decide
+  for or against us.--_La Bruyere._ Order my steps in thy
+  word.--_Bible._
+
+
+  NEW YORK:
+  FOWLER & WELLS CO., PUBLISHERS,
+  753 BROADWAY.
+  1887.
+
+
+  ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS IN THE YEAR 1857 BY
+
+  FOWLER AND WELLS
+
+  IN THE CLERK'S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED
+  STATES FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+    Politeness Defined--The Foundation of Good Manners--The Civil
+    Code and the Code of Civility--The Instinct of Courtesy--
+    Chesterfield's Method--The Golden Rule--American Politeness--
+    Utility of Good Manners Illustrated.                       Page ix
+
+I.--PERSONAL HABITS.
+
+    Where to Commence--Care of the Person a Social Duty--Cleanliness--
+    The Daily Bath--Soap and Water--The Feet--Change of Linen--The
+    Nails--The Head--The Teeth--The Breath--Eating and Drinking--What
+    to Eat--When to Eat--How much to Eat--What to Drink--Breathing--
+    Exercise--The Complexion--Tobacco--Spitting--Gin and Gentility--
+    Onions, etc.--Little Things                                     15
+
+II.--DRESS.
+
+    The Meaning of Dress--The Uses of Dress--Fitness the First
+    Essential--The Art of Dress--The Short Dress for Ladies--
+    Working-Dress for Gentlemen--Ornaments--Materials for Dress--Mrs.
+    Manners on Dress--The Hair and Beard--Art _vs._ Fashion--Signs of
+    the Good Time Coming                                            31
+
+III.--SELF-CULTURE.
+
+    Moral and Social Training--Cultivation of Language--Position and
+    Movement--The Ease and Grace of Childhood--Standing--Sitting--
+    Walking--Hints to the Ladies--Self-Command--Observation--Practical
+    Lesson                                                          42
+
+IV.--FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.
+
+    Manners and Morals--Human Rights--Duties--The Rights of the
+    Senses--The Faculties and their Claims--Expression of
+    Opinions--The Sacredness of Privacy--Conformity--Singing out of
+    Tune--Doing as the Romans Do--Courtesy _vs._ Etiquette--An
+    Anecdote--Harmony--Equality--A Remark to be Remembered--General
+    Principles more Important than Particular Observances           48
+
+V.--DOMESTIC MANNERS.
+
+    A Test of Good Manners--Good Behavior at Home--American
+    Children--Teaching Children to be Polite--Behavior to
+    Parents--Brothers and Sisters--Husband and Wife--Married
+    Lovers--Entertaining Guests--Letting your Guests Alone--Making
+    one "at Home"--Making Apologies--Duties of Guests--Treatment of
+    Servants--Rights of Servants--"Thank You"                       56
+
+VI.--THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.
+
+    Introductions--Letters of Introduction--Speaking without an
+    Introduction--Salutations--Receptions--Visits and Calls--Table
+    Manners--Conversations--Chesterfield on Conversation--Music--
+    Letters and Notes--Up and Down Stairs--Which Goes First?--An
+    American Habit--Gloved or Ungloved?--Equality--False Shame--
+    Pulling out one's Watch--Husband and Wife--Bowing _vs._
+    Curtseying--Presents--Snobbery--Children                        64
+
+VII.--ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.
+
+    Dinner Parties--Invitations--Dress--Punctuality--Going to the
+    Table--Arrangement of Guests--Duties of the Host--Duties of the
+    Guests--The "Grace"--Eating Soup--Fish--The Third Course--What
+    to do with your Knife and Fork--Declining Wine--Finger Glasses--
+    Carving--Evening Parties and their Observances--French Leave--
+    Sports and Games--Promiscuous Kissing--Dancing--Christmas--The
+    New Year--Thanksgiving--Birthdays--Excursions and Picnics--
+    Weddings--Funerals                                              83
+
+VIII.--THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.
+
+    How to Behave on the Street--Stopping Business Men on the Street--
+    Walking with Ladies--Shopping--At Church--At Places of Amusement--
+    In a Picture Gallery--The Presence--Traveling--The Rush for
+    Places--The Rights of Fellow-Travelers--Giving up Seats to the
+    Ladies--A Hint to the Ladies on Politeness--Paying Fares       100
+
+IX.--LOVE AND COURTSHIP.
+
+    Boyish Loves--The Proper Age to Marry--Waiting for a Fortune--
+    Importance of Understanding Physiological Laws--Earnestness and
+    Sincerity in Love--Particular Attentions--Presents--Confidants--
+    Declarations--Asking "Pa"--Refusals--Engagement--Breaking Off--
+    Marriage                                                       110
+
+X.--PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.
+
+    Courtesy in Debate--Origin of the Parliamentary Code--Rules of
+    Order--Motions--Speaking--Submitting a Question--Voting--A
+    Quorum The Democratic Principle--Privileged Questions--Order of
+    Business--Order of Debate                                      116
+
+XI.--MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.
+
+    Republican Distinctions--Natural Inequalities--American Toad
+    Eaters--General Lack of Reverence for Real Nobility--City and
+    Country--Imported Manners--Fictitious Titles--A Mirror for
+    Certain Men--Washington's Code of Manners--Our Social Uniform--A
+    Hint to the Ladies--An Obliging Disposition--Securing a
+    Home--Taste _vs._ Fashion--Special Claims--Propriety of
+    Deportment--False Pride--Awkwardness of being Dressed          124
+
+XII.--MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.
+
+    Cheerfulness and Good Humor--The Art of Pleasing--Adaptation of
+    Manners--Bad Habits--Do what you are About--People who Never
+    Learn--Local Manners--How to Confer Favors--How to Refuse--
+    Spirit--Civility to Women                                      135
+
+XIII.--ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.
+
+    Elder Blunt and Sister Scrub Taking off the Hat, or John and his
+    Employer--A Learned Man at Table--English Women in High Life--
+    "Say so, if you Please"                                        139
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+
+This is an honest and earnest little book, if it has no other merit;
+and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of our
+great Republic, whom it is designed to aid in becoming, what we are
+convinced they all desire to be, true American ladies and gentlemen.
+
+Desiring to make our readers something better than mere imitators of
+foreign manners, often based on social conditions radically different
+from our own--something better than imitators of _any_ manners, in
+fact, we have dwelt at greater length and with far more emphasis upon
+general principles, than upon special observances, though the latter
+have their place in our work. It has been our first object to impress
+upon their minds the fact, that good manners and good morals rest upon
+the same basis, and that justice and benevolence can no more be
+satisfied without the one than without the other.
+
+As in the other numbers of this series of Hand-Books, so in this, we
+have aimed at usefulness rather than originality; but our plan being
+radically different from that of most other manuals of etiquette, we
+have been able to avail ourself to only a very limited extent of the
+labors of others, except in the matter of mere conventional forms.
+
+Sensible of the imperfections of our work, but hoping that it will do
+some acceptable service in the cause of good manners, and aid, in a
+humble way, in the building up of a truly American and republican
+school of politeness, we now submit it, with great deference, to a
+discerning public.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+Some one has defined politeness as "only an elegant form of justice;"
+but it is something more. It is the result of the combined action of
+all the moral and social feelings, guided by judgment and refined by
+taste. It requires the exercise of benevolence, veneration (in its
+human aspect), adhesiveness, and ideality, as well as of
+conscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of human
+solidarity--the flowering of philanthropy--the fine art of the social
+passions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and painting
+and sculpture to the eye.
+
+One can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a mere
+matter of arbitrary forms. It has as real and permanent a foundation
+in the nature and relations of men and women, as have government and
+the common law. The civil code is not more binding upon us than is the
+code of civility. Portions of the former become, from time to time,
+inoperative--mere dead letters on the statute-book, on account of the
+conditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist; and many of
+the enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding force
+from the same cause. Many of the forms now in vogue, in what is called
+fashionable society, are of this character. Under the circumstances
+which called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful;
+under changed circumstances they are simply absurd. There are other
+forms of observances over which time and place have no influence--which
+are always and everywhere binding.
+
+Politeness itself is always the same. The rules of etiquette, which
+are merely the forms in which it finds expression, vary with time and
+place. A sincere regard for the rights of others, in the smallest
+matters as well as the largest, genuine kindness of heart; good taste,
+and self-command, which are the foundations of good manners, are never
+out of fashion; and a person who possesses them can hardly be rude or
+discourteous, however far he may transgress conventional usages:
+lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules of
+etiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice to
+make one truly polite.
+
+"Politeness," says La Bruyere, "seems to be a certain care, by the
+manner of our words and actions, to make others pleased with us and
+themselves." This definition refers the matter directly to those
+qualities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations of
+good manners. To the same effect is the remark of Madame Celnart, that
+"the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is _to have
+an intention of always doing right_."
+
+Some persons have the "instinct of courtesy" so largely developed that
+they seem hardly to need culture at all. They are equal to any
+occasion, however novel. They never commit blunders, or if they do
+commit them, they seem not to be blunders in them. So there are those
+who sing, speak, or draw intuitively--by inspiration. The great
+majority of us, however, must be content to acquire these arts by
+study and practice. In the same way we must acquire the art of
+behavior, so far as behavior is an art. We must possess, in the first
+place, a sense of equity, good-will toward our fellow-men, kind
+feelings, magnanimity and self-control. Cultivation will do the rest.
+But we most never forget that manners as well as morals are founded on
+certain eternal principles, and that while "the _letter_ killeth,"
+"the _spirit_ giveth _life_."
+
+The account which Lord Chesterfield gives of the method by which he
+acquired the reputation of being the most polished man in England, is
+a strong example of the efficacy of practice, in view of which no one
+need despair. He was naturally singularly deficient in that grace
+which afterward so distinguished him. "I had a strong desire," he
+says, "to please, and was sensible that I had nothing but the desire.
+I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means too. I studied
+attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the address,
+and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please. I imitated
+them as well as I could: if I heard that one man was reckoned
+remarkably genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions, and
+attitudes, and formed my own upon them. When I heard of another whose
+conversation was agreeable and engaging I listened and attended to the
+turn of it. I addressed myself, though _de tres mauvaise grace_ [with
+a very bad grace], to all the most fashionable fine ladies; confessed
+and laughed with them at my own awkwardness and rawness, recommending
+myself as an object for them to try their skill in forming."
+
+Lord Bacon says: "To attain good manners it almost sufficeth not to
+despise them, and that if a man labor too much to express them, he
+shall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected."
+
+To these testimonies we may add the observation of La Rochefoucauld,
+that "in manners there are no good copies, for besides that the copy
+is almost always clumsy or exaggerated, the air which is suited to one
+person sits ill upon another."
+
+The greater must have been the genius of Chesterfield which enabled
+him to make the graces of others his own, appropriating them only so
+far as they _fitted him_, instead of blindly and servilely imitating
+his models.
+
+C. P. Bronson truly says: "In politeness, as in every thing else
+connected with the formation of character, we are too apt to begin on
+the outside, instead of the inside; instead of beginning with the
+heart, and trusting to that to form the manners, many begin with the
+manners, and leave the heart to chance and influences. The golden rule
+contains the very life and soul of politeness: 'Do unto others as you
+would they should do unto you.' Unless children and youth are taught,
+by precept and example, to abhor what is selfish, and prefer another's
+pleasure and comfort to their own, their politeness will be entirely
+artificial, and used only when interest and policy dictate. True
+politeness is perfect freedom and ease, treating others just as you
+love to be treated. Nature is always graceful: affectation, with all
+her art, can never produce any thing half so pleasing. The very
+perfection of elegance is to imitate nature; how much better to have
+the reality than the imitation! Anxiety about the opinions of others
+fetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness; all would
+appear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess."
+
+A writer in _Life Illustrated_, to whose excellent observations on
+etiquette we shall have further occasion to refer, contends that the
+instinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the American people. "It
+is shown," he says, "in the civility which marks our intercourse with
+one another. It is shown in the deference which is universally paid to
+the presence of the gentler sex. It is shown in the excessive fear
+which prevails among us of offending public opinion. It is shown in
+the very extravagances of our costume and decoration, in our lavish
+expenditures upon house and equipage. It is shown in the avidity with
+which every new work is bought and read which pretends to lay down
+the laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be, _par
+excellence_, polite. It is shown in the fact, that, next to calling a
+man a liar, the most offensive and stinging of all possible
+expressions is, 'You are no gentleman!'"
+
+He claims that this is a national trait, and expresses the belief that
+every uncorrupt American man desires to be, and to be thought, a
+gentleman; that every uncorrupt American woman desires to be, and to
+be thought, a lady.
+
+"But," he adds, "the instinct of courtesy is not enough, nor is
+opportunity equivalent to possession. The truth is palpable, that our
+men are not all gentlemen, nor our women all ladies, nor our children
+all docile and obliging. In that small and insignificant circle which
+is called 'Society,' which, small and insignificant as it is, gives
+the tone to the manners of the nation, the chief efforts seem to be,
+to cleanse the outside of the platter, to conceal defects by gloss and
+glitter. Its theory of politeness and its maxims of behavior are drawn
+from a state of things so different from that which here prevails,
+that they produce in us little besides an exaggerated ungracefulness,
+a painful constraint, a complete artificiality of conduct and
+character. We are trying to shine in borrowed plumes. We would glisten
+with foreign varnish. To produce an _effect_ is our endeavor. We
+prefer to _act_, rather than _live_. The politeness which is based on
+sincerity, good-will, self-conquest, and a minute, habitual regard for
+the rights of others, is not, we fear, the politeness which finds
+favor in the saloons upon which the upholsterer has exhausted the
+resources of his craft. Yet without possessing, in a certain degree,
+the qualities we have named, no man ever did, and no man ever will,
+become a gentleman. Where they do not bear sway, society may be
+brilliant in garniture, high in pretension, but it is intrinsically
+and incurably _vulgar_!"
+
+The utility of good manners is universally acknowledged perhaps, but
+the extent to which genuine courtesy may be made to contribute to our
+success as well as our happiness is hardly realized. We can not more
+satisfactorily illustrate this point than by quoting the following
+lesson of experience from the Autobiography of the late Dr. Caldwell,
+the celebrated physician and phrenologist:
+
+"In the year 1825 I made, in London, in a spirit of wager, a decisive
+and satisfactory experiment as to the effect of civil and courteous
+manners on people of various ranks and descriptions.
+
+"There were in a place a number of young Americans, who often
+complained to me of the neglect and rudeness experienced by them from
+citizens to whom they spoke in the streets. They asserted, in
+particular, that as often as they requested directions to any point in
+the city toward which they were proceeding, they either received an
+uncivil and evasive answer, or none at all. I told them that my
+experience on the same subject had been exceedingly different: that I
+had never failed to receive a civil reply to my questions--often
+communicating the information requested: and that I could not help
+suspecting that their failure to receive similar answers arose, in
+part at least, if not entirely, to the plainness, not to say the
+bluntness, of their manner in making their inquiries. The correctness
+of this charge, however, they sturdily denied, asserting that their
+manner of asking for information was good enough for those to whom
+they addressed themselves. Unable to convince them by words of the
+truth of my suspicions, I proposed to them the following simple and
+conclusive experiment:
+
+"'Let us take together a walk of two or three hours in some of the
+public streets of the city. You shall yourselves designate the persons
+to whom I shall propose questions, and the subjects also to which the
+question shall relate; and the only restriction imposed is, that no
+question shall be proposed to any one who shall appear to be greatly
+hurried, agitated, distressed, or any other way deeply preoccupied, in
+mind or body, and no one shall speak to the person questioned but
+myself.'
+
+"My proposition being accepted, out we sallied, and to work we went;
+and I continued my experiment until my young friends surrendered at
+discretion, frankly acknowledging that my opinion was right, and
+theirs, of course was wrong; and that, in our passage through life,
+courtesy of address and deportment may be made both a pleasant and
+powerful means to attain our ends and gratify our wishes.
+
+"I put questions to more than twenty persons of every rank, from the
+high-bred gentleman to the servant in livery, and received in every
+instance a satisfactory reply. If the information asked for was not
+imparted, the individual addressed gave an assurance of his at being
+unable to communicate it.
+
+"What seemed to surprise my friends was, that the individuals accosted
+by me almost uniformly imitated my own manner. If I uncovered my head,
+as I did in speaking to a gentleman, or even to a man of ordinary
+appearance and breeding, he did the same in his reply; and when I
+touched my hat to a liveried coachman or waiting man, his hat was
+immediately under his arm. So much may be done, and such advantages
+gained, by simply avoiding coarseness and vulgarity, and being well
+bred and agreeable. Nor can the case be otherwise. For the foundation
+of good breeding is good nature and good sense--two of the most useful
+and indispensable attributes of a well-constituted mind. Let it not be
+forgotten, however, that good breeding is not to be regarded as
+identical with politeness--a mistake which is too frequently, if not
+generally, committed. A person may be exceedingly polite without the
+much higher and more valuable accomplishment of good breeding."
+
+Believing that the natural qualities essential to the character of the
+gentleman or the lady exist in a high degree among our countrymen and
+countrywomen, and that they universally desire to develop these
+qualities, and to add to them the necessary knowledge of all the truly
+significant and living forms and usages of good society, we have
+written the work now before you. We have not the vanity to believe
+that the mere reading of it will, of itself, convert an essentially
+vulgar person into a lady or a gentleman; but we do hope that we have
+furnished those who most need it with available and efficient aid; and
+in this hope we dedicate this little "Manual of Republican Etiquette"
+to all who are, or would be, in the highest sense of these terms,
+
+TRUE REPUBLICAN LADIES OR GENTLEMEN
+
+
+
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+PERSONAL HABITS.
+
+     Attention to the person is the first necessity of good
+     manners.--_Anon._
+
+
+I.--WHERE TO COMMENCE.
+
+If you wish to commence aright the study of manners, you must make
+your own person the first lesson. If you neglect this you will apply
+yourself to those which follow with very little profit. Omit,
+therefore, any other chapter in the book rather than this.
+
+The proper care and adornment of the person is a social as well as an
+individual duty. You have a right to go about with unwashed hands and
+face, and to wear soiled and untidy garments, perhaps, but you have no
+right to offend the senses of others by displaying such hands, face,
+and garments in society. Other people have rights as well as yourself,
+and no right of yours can extend so far as to infringe theirs.
+
+But we may safely assume that no reader of these pages wishes to
+render himself disgusting or even disagreeable or to cut himself off
+from the society of his fellow-men. We address those who seek social
+intercourse and desire to please. _They_ will not think our words
+amiss, even though they may seem rather "personal;" since we have
+their highest good in view, and speak in the most friendly spirit.
+Those who do not need our hints and suggestions under this head, and
+to whom none of our remarks may apply, will certainly have the
+courtesy to excuse them for the sake of those to whom they will be
+useful.
+
+
+II.--CLEANLINESS.
+
+"Cleanliness is akin to godliness," it is said. It is not less closely
+related to gentility. First of all, then, keep yourself scrupulously
+clean--not your hands and face merely, but your whole person, from the
+crown of your head to the sole of your foot. Silk stockings may hide
+dirty feet and ankles from the eye, but they often reveal themselves
+to another sense, when the possessor little dreams of such an
+exposure. It is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and be
+strictly clean, than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richest
+clothing. A coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar,
+but dirt is essentially so. We do not here refer, of course, to one's
+condition while engaged in his or her industrial occupation. Soiled
+hands and even a begrimed face are badges of honor in the field, the
+workshop, or the kitchen, but in a country in which soap and water
+abound, there is no excuse for carrying them into the parlor or the
+dining-room.
+
+A clean skin is as essential to health, beauty, and personal comfort
+as it is to decency; and without health and that perfect freedom from
+physical disquiet which comes only from the normal action of all the
+functions of the bodily organs, your behavior can never be
+satisfactory to yourself or agreeable to others. Let us urge you,
+then, to give this matter your first attention.
+
+
+1. _The Daily Bath._
+
+To keep clean you must bathe frequently. In the first place you should
+wash the whole body with pure soft water every morning on rising from
+your bed, rubbing it till dry with a coarse towel, and afterward using
+friction with the hands. If you have not been at all accustomed to
+cold bathing, commence with tepid water, lowering the temperature by
+degrees till that which is perfectly cold becomes agreeable. In warm
+weather, comfort and cleanliness alike require still more frequent
+bathing. Mohammed made frequent ablutions a religious duty; and in
+that he was right. The rank and fetid odors which exhale from a foul
+skin can hardly be neutralized by the sweetest incense of devotion.
+
+
+2. _Soap and Water._
+
+But the daily bath of which we have spoken is not sufficient. In
+addition to the pores from which exudes the watery fluid called
+perspiration, the skin is furnished with innumerable minute openings,
+known as the sebaceous follicles, which pour over its surface a thin
+limpid oil anointing it and rendering it soft and supple; but also
+causing the dust as well as the effete matter thrown out by the pores
+to adhere, and, if allowed to accumulate, finally obstructing its
+functions and causing disease. It also, especially in warm weather,
+emits an exceedingly disagreeable odor. Pure cold water will not
+wholly remove these oily accumulations. The occasional use of soap and
+warm or tepid water is therefore necessary; but all washings with
+soapy or warm water should be followed by a thorough rinsing with pure
+cold water. Use good, fine soap. The common coarser kinds are
+generally too strongly alkaline and have an unpleasant effect upon the
+skin.
+
+
+3. _The Feet._
+
+The feet are particularly liable to become offensively odoriferous,
+especially when the perspiration is profuse. Frequent washings with
+cold water, with the occasional use of warm water and soap, are
+absolutely necessary to cleanliness.
+
+
+4. _Change of Linen._
+
+A frequent change of linen is another essential of cleanliness. It
+avails little to wash the body if we inclose it the next minute in
+soiled garments. It is not in the power of every one to wear fine and
+elegant clothes, but we can all, under ordinary circumstances, afford
+clean shirts, drawers, and stockings. Never sleep in any garment worn
+during the day; and your night-dress should be well aired every
+morning.
+
+
+5. _The Nails._
+
+You will not, of course, go into company, or sit down to the table,
+with soiled hands, but unless you habituate yourself to a special care
+of them, more or less dirt will be found lodged under the nails. Clean
+them carefully every time you wash your hands, and keep them smoothly
+and evenly cut. If you allow them to get too long they are liable to
+be broken off, and become uneven and ragged, and if you pare them too
+closely they fail to protect the ends of the fingers.
+
+
+6. _The Head._
+
+The head is more neglected, perhaps, than any other part of the body.
+The results are not less disastrous here than elsewhere. Dandruff
+forms, dust accumulates, the scalp becomes diseased, the hair grows
+dry, and falls off and if the evil be not remedied, premature baldness
+ensues. The head should be thoroughly washed as often as cleanliness
+demands. This will not injure the hair, as many suppose, but, on the
+contrary, will promote its growth and add to its beauty. If soap is
+used, however, it should be carefully rinsed off. If the hair is
+carefully and _thoroughly_ brushed every morning, it will not require
+very frequent washings. If the scalp be kept in a healthy condition
+the hair will be moist, glossy, and luxuriant, and no oil or hair wash
+will be required; and these preparations generally do more harm than
+good. Night-caps are most unwholesome and uncleanly contrivances, and
+should be discarded altogether. They keep the head unnaturally warm,
+shut out the fresh air, and shut in those natural exhalations which
+should be allowed to pass off, and thus weaken the hair and render it
+more liable to fall off. Ladies may keep their hair properly together
+during repose by wearing a _net_ over it.
+
+
+7. _The Teeth._
+
+Do not forget the teeth. Cleanliness, health, a pure breath, and the
+integrity and durability of those organs require that they be
+thoroughly and effectually scoured with the tooth-brush dipped in soft
+water, with the addition of a little soap, if necessary, every
+morning. Brush them outside and inside, and in every possible
+direction. You can not be too careful in this matter. After brushing
+rinse your mouth with cold water. A slighter brushing should be given
+them after each meal. Use an ivory tooth-pick or a quill to remove any
+particles of food that may be lodged between the teeth.
+
+There are, no doubt, original differences in teeth, as in other parts
+of the human system, some being more liable to decay than others; but
+the simple means we have pointed out, if adopted in season and
+perseveringly applied, will preserve almost any teeth, in all their
+usefulness and reality, till old age. If yours have been neglected,
+and some of them are already decayed, hasten to preserve the
+remainder. While you have _any_ teeth left, it is never too late to
+begin to take care of them; and if you have children, do not, we
+entreat you, neglect _their_ teeth. If the first or temporary teeth
+are cared for and preserved, they will be mainly absorbed by the
+second or permanent ones, and will drop out of themselves. The others,
+in that case, will come out regular and even.
+
+Beware of the teeth-powders, teeth-washes, and the like, advertised in
+the papers. They are often even more destructive to the teeth than the
+substances they are intended to remove. If any teeth-powder is
+required, pure powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure;
+but if the teeth are kept clean, in the way we have directed, there
+will be little occasion for any other dentrifices than pure water and
+a little soap. Your tooth-brushes should be rather soft; those which
+are too hard injuring both the teeth and the gums.
+
+
+8. _The Breath._
+
+A bad breath arises more frequently than otherwise from neglected and
+decayed teeth. If it is occasioned by a foul stomach, a pure diet,
+bathing, water injections, and a general attention to the laws of
+health are required for its removal.
+
+
+III.--EATING AND DRINKING.
+
+Whatever has a bearing upon health has at least an indirect connection
+with manners; the reader will therefore excuse us for introducing here
+a few remarks which may seem, at the first glance, rather irrelevant.
+Sound lungs, a healthy liver, and a good digestion are as essential to
+the right performance of our social duties as they are to our own
+personal comfort; therefore a few words on eating and drinking, as
+affecting these, will not be out of place.
+
+
+1. _What to Eat._
+
+An unperverted appetite is the highest authority in matters of diet.
+In fact, its decisions should be considered final, and without the
+privilege of appeal. Nature makes no mistakes.
+
+The plant selects from the soil which its roots permeate, the chemical
+elements necessary to its growth and perfect development, rejecting
+with unerring certainty every particle which would prove harmful or
+useless. The wild animal chooses with equal certainty the various
+kinds of food adapted to the wants of its nature, never poisoning
+itself by eating or drinking any thing inimical to its life and
+health. The sense of taste and the wants of the system act in perfect
+harmony. So it should be with man. That which most perfectly gratifies
+the appetite should be the best adapted to promote health, strength,
+and beauty.
+
+But appetite, like all the other instincts or feelings of our nature,
+is liable to become perverted, and to lead us astray. We acquire a
+relish for substances which are highly hurtful, such as tobacco,
+ardent spirits, malt liquors, and the like. We have "sought out many
+inventions," to pander to false and fatal tastes, and too often eat,
+not to sustain life and promote the harmonious development of the
+system, but to poison the very fountains of our being and implant in
+our blood the seeds of disease.
+
+Attend to the demands of appetite, but use all your judgment in
+determining whether it is a natural, undepraved craving of the system
+which speaks, or an acquired and vicious taste, and give or withhold
+accordingly; and, above all, never eat when you have _no appetite_.
+Want of appetite is equivalent to the most authoritative command to
+_eat nothing_, and we disregard it at our peril. Food, no matter how
+wholesome, taken into our stomachs under such circumstances, instead
+of being digested and appropriated, becomes rank poison. _Eating
+without appetite is one of the most fatal of common errors._
+
+We have no room, even if we had the ability and the desire, to discuss
+the comparative merits of the two opposing systems of diet--the
+vegetarian and the mixed. We shall consider the question of
+flesh-eating an open one.
+
+Your food should be adapted to the climate, season, and your
+occupation. In the winter and in northern climates a larger proportion
+of the fatty or carboniferous elements are required than in summer and
+in southern latitudes. The Esquimaux, in his snow-built hut, swallows
+immense quantities of train-oil, without getting the dyspepsia; still,
+we do not recommend train-oil as an article of diet; neither can we
+indorse the eating of pork in any form; but these things are far less
+hurtful in winter than in summer, and to those who labor in the open
+air than to the sedentary.
+
+Live well. A generous diet promotes vitality and capability for
+action. "Good cheer is friendly to health." But do not confound a
+generous diet with what is usually called "rich" food. Let all your
+dishes be nutritious, but plain, simple, and wholesome. Avoid highly
+seasoned viands and very greasy food at all times, but particularly in
+warm weather, also too much nutriment in the highly condensed forms of
+sugar, syrup, honey, and the like.
+
+If you eat flesh, partake sparingly of it especially in summer. We
+Americans are the greatest flesh-eaters in the world, and it is not
+unreasonable to believe that there may be some connection between this
+fact and the equally notorious one that we are the most unhealthy
+people in the world. An untold amount of disease results from the too
+free use of flesh during the hot months. Heat promotes putrefaction;
+and as this change in meat is very rapid in warm weather, we can not
+be too careful not to eat that which is in the slightest degree
+tainted. Even when it goes into the stomach in a normal condition,
+there is danger; for if too much is eaten, or the digestive organs are
+not sufficiently strong and active, the process of putrefaction may
+commence in the stomach and diffuse a subtle poison through the whole
+system.
+
+_Hot_ biscuits; _hot_ griddle cakes, saturated with butter and
+Stuart's syrup; and _hot_ coffee, scarcely modified at all by the
+small quantity of milk usually added, are among the most deleterious
+articles ever put upon a table. While these continue to be the staples
+of our breakfasts, healthy stomachs and clear complexions will be rare
+among us. Never eat or drink _any thing_ HOT.
+
+Good bread is an unexceptionable article of diet. The best is made of
+unbolted wheat flour. A mixture of wheat and rye flour, or of corn
+meal with either, makes excellent bread. The meal and flour should be
+freshly ground; they deteriorate by being kept long. If raised or
+fermented bread is required, hop yeast is the best ferment that can be
+used. [For complete directions for bread-making, see Dr. Trall's
+"Hydropathic Cook-Book."]
+
+The exclusive use of fine or bolted flour for bread, biscuits, and
+cakes of all kinds, is exceedingly injurious to health. The _lignin_
+or woody fiber which forms the bran of grains is just as essential to
+a perfect and healthful nutrition as are starch, sugar, gum, and
+fibrin, and the rejection of this element is one of the most
+mischievous errors of modern cookery.
+
+Johnny-cake, or corn bread, is an excellent article, which is not yet
+fully appreciated. It is palatable and wholesome. Hominy, samp,
+cracked wheat, oatmeal mush, and boiled rice should have a high place
+on your list of edibles. Beans and peas should be more generally eaten
+than they are. They are exceedingly nutritious, and very palatable. In
+New England, "pork and beans" hold the place of honor, but elsewhere
+in this country they are almost unknown. Leaving out the pork (which,
+personally, we hold in more than Jewish abhorrence), nothing can be
+better, provided they are eaten in moderation and with a proper
+proportion of less nutritious food. They should be well baked in pure,
+soft water. A sufficient quantity of salt to season them, with the
+addition of a little sweet milk, cream, or butter while baking, leaves
+nothing to be desired. If meat is wanted, however, a slice of
+beefsteak, laid upon the surface, will serve a better purpose than
+pork. Potatoes, beets, turnips, carrots, parsneps, and cabbages are
+good in their place.
+
+But Nature indicates very plainly that fruits and berries, in their
+season, should have a prominent place in our dietary. They are
+produced in abundance, and every healthy stomach instinctively craves
+them. Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, whortleberries,
+cherries, plums, grapes, figs, apples, pears, peaches, and melons are
+"food fit for gods." We pity those whose perverted taste or digestion
+leads to their rejection. But some are _afraid_ to eat fruits and
+berries, particularly in midsummer, just the time when nature and
+common sense say they should be eaten most freely. They have the fear
+of cholera, dysentery, and similar diseases before their eyes, and
+have adopted the popular but absurd idea that fruit eating predisposes
+to disorders of the stomach and bowels. Exactly the reverse is the
+fact. There are no better preventives of such diseases than _ripe_
+fruits and berries, eaten in proper quantities and at proper times
+Unripe fruits should be scrupulously avoided, and that which is in any
+measure decayed as scarcely less objectionable. Fruit and berries
+should make a part of every meal in summer. In winter they are less
+necessary, but may be eaten with advantage, if within our reach; and
+they are easily preserved in various ways.
+
+We might write a volume on the subject of food, but these general
+hints must suffice. If you would pursue the inquiry, read O. S.
+Fowler's "Physiology, Animal and Mental," and the "Hydropathic
+Cook-Book," already referred to.
+
+
+2. _When to Eat._
+
+Eat when the stomach, through the instinct of appetite, demands a new
+supply of food. If all your habits are regular, this will be at about
+the same hours each day; and regularity in the time of taking our
+meals is very important. Want of attention to this point is a frequent
+cause of derangement of the digestive organs. We can not stop to
+discuss the question how many meals per day we should eat; but whether
+you eat one, two, or three, never, under ordinary circumstances, take
+lunches. The habit of eating between meals is a most pernicious one.
+Not even your children must be indulged in it, as you value their
+health, comfort, and good behavior.
+
+
+3. _How Much to Eat._
+
+We can not tell you, by weight or measure, how much to eat, the right
+quantity depending much upon age, sex, occupation, season, and
+climate, but the quantity is quite as important as the quality.
+Appetite would be a sure guide in both respects were it not so often
+perverted and diseased. As a general rule, we eat too much. It is
+better to err in the other direction. An uncomfortable feeling of
+fullness, or of dullness and stupor after a meal is a sure sign of
+over-eating, so whatever and whenever you eat, _eat slowly, masticate
+your food well_, and DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH.
+
+
+4. _Drink._
+
+If we eat proper food, and in proper quantity, we are seldom thirsty.
+Inordinate thirst indicates a feverish state of either the stomach or
+the general system. It is pretty sure to follow a too hearty meal.
+
+Water is the proper drink for everybody and for every thing that lives
+or grows. It should be pure and soft. Many diseases arise wholly from
+the use of unwholesome water. If you drink tea (which we do not
+recommend), let it be the best of black tea, and _not_ strong. Coffee,
+if drunk at all, should be diluted with twice its quantity of boiled
+milk, and well sweetened with white sugar.
+
+
+IV.--BREATHING.
+
+Breathing is as necessary as eating. If we cease to breathe, our
+bodies cease to live. If we only _half_ breathe, as is often the case,
+we only half live. The human system requires a constant supply of
+oxygen to keep up the vital processes which closely resemble
+combustion, of which oxygen is the prime supporter. If the supply is
+insufficient, the fire of life wanes. The healthy condition of the
+lungs also requires that they be completely expanded by the air
+inhaled. The imperfect breathing of many persons fails to accomplish
+the required inflation, and the lungs become diseased for want of
+their natural action. Full, deep breathing and pure air are as
+essential to health, happiness, and the right performance of our
+duties, whether individual, political, or social, as pure food and
+temperate habits of eating and drinking are. Attend, then, to the
+lungs as well as the stomach. Breathe good air. Have all your rooms,
+and especially your sleeping apartment well ventilated. The air which
+has been vitiated by breathing or by the action of fire, which
+abstracts the oxygen and supplies its place with carbonic acid gas, is
+a _subtle poison_.
+
+
+V.--EXERCISE.
+
+The amount of physical exercise required varies with age, sex, and
+temperament; but no person can enjoy vigorous health without a
+considerable degree of active bodily exertion. Four or five hours per
+day spent in the open air, in some labor or amusement which calls for
+the exercise of the muscles of the body, is probably no more than a
+proper average. We can live with less--that is, for a short time; but
+Nature's laws are inexorable, and we can not escape the penalty
+affixed to their violation. Those whose occupations are sedentary
+should seek amusements which require the exertion of the physical
+powers, and should spend as much as possible of their leisure time in
+the open air. We must, however, use good judgment in this matter as
+well as in eating. Too much exercise at once, or that which is fitful
+and violent, is often exceedingly injurious to those whose occupations
+have accustomed them to little physical exertion of any kind.
+
+The women of our country are suffering incalculably for want of proper
+exercise. No other single cause perhaps is doing so much to destroy
+health and beauty, and deteriorate the race, as this. "Your women are
+very handsome," Frederika Bremer said, one day, "but they are too
+white; they look as if they grew in the shade." A sad truth. Ladies,
+if you would be healthy, beautiful, and attractive--if you would fit
+yourselves to be good wives, and the mothers of strong and noble men,
+you _must_ take an adequate amount of exercise in the open air. _This
+should be an every-day duty._
+
+
+VI.--THE COMPLEXION.
+
+Every person, and especially every lady, desires a clear complexion.
+To secure this, follow the foregoing directions in reference to
+cleanliness, eating, drinking, breathing, and exercise. The same
+recipe serves for ruby lips and rosy cheeks. These come and go with
+health, and health depends upon obedience to the laws of our
+constitution.
+
+
+VII.--GENERAL HINTS.
+
+Few of us are free from disagreeable habits of which we are hardly
+conscious, so seemingly natural have they become to us. It is the
+office of friendship, though not always a pleasant one, to point them
+out. It is our business to assume that office here, finding our excuse
+in the necessity of the case. Our bad habits not only injure
+ourselves, but they give offense to others, and indirectly injure them
+also.
+
+
+1. _Tobacco._
+
+Ladies, in this country, do not use tobacco, so they may skip this
+section. A large and increasing number of gentlemen may do the same;
+but if you use tobacco, in any forth, allow us to whisper a useful
+hint or two in your ear.
+
+Smoking, snuff-taking, and especially chewing, are bad habits at best,
+and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refined
+people, and especially to ladies. You have the same right to smoke,
+take snuff, and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a
+filthy skin and soiled garments, but you have no right, in either
+case, to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people
+by their exhibition in society. Smoke if you will, chew, take snuff
+(against our earnest advice, however), make yourself generally and
+particularly disagreeable, but you must suffer the consequences--the
+social outlawry which must result. Shall we convert our parlors into
+tobacco shops, risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from the
+random shots of your disgusting saliva, and fill the whole atmosphere
+of our house with a pungent stench, to the discomfort and disgust of
+everybody else, merely for the pleasure of your company? We have
+rights as well as you, one of which is to exclude from our circle all
+persons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us. You talk of
+rights. You can not blame others for exercising theirs.
+
+There are degrees here as everywhere else. One may chew a _little_,
+smoke an _occasional_ cigar, and take a pinch of snuff _now_ and
+_then_, and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence of
+others, and is very careful to purify his person before going into
+company, he may confine the bad effects, which he can not escape,
+_mostly_ to his own person. But he must not smoke in any parlor, or
+sitting-room, or dining-room, or sleeping chamber, or in the street,
+and particularly not in the presence of ladies, _anywhere_.
+
+
+2. _Spitting._
+
+"The use of tobacco has made us a nation of spitters," as some one has
+truly remarked. Spitting is a private act, and tobacco users are not
+alone in violating good taste and good manners by hawking and spitting
+in company. You should never be seen to spit. Use your handkerchief
+carefully and so as not to be noticed, or, in case of necessity, leave
+the room.
+
+
+3. _Gin and Gentility._
+
+The spirit and tenor of our remarks on tobacco will apply to the use
+of ardent spirits. The fumes of gin, whisky, and rum are, if possible,
+worse than the scent of tobacco. They must on no account be brought
+into company. If a man (this is another section which women may skip)
+will make a beast of himself, and fill his blood with liquid poison,
+he must, if he desires admission into good company, do it either
+privately or with companions whose senses and appetites are as
+depraved as his own.
+
+
+4. _Onions, etc._
+
+All foods or drinks which taint the breath or cause disagreeable
+eructations should be avoided by persons going into company. Onions
+emit so very disagreeable an odor that no truly polite person will eat
+them when liable to inflict their fumes upon others. Particular care
+should be taken to guard against a bad breath from _any_ cause.
+
+
+5. _Several Items._
+
+Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or
+perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. All
+these things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your
+own room. To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the head or any
+part of the person in company is still worse. Watch yourself
+carefully, and if you have any such habits, break them up at once.
+These may seem little things, but they have their weight, and go far
+in determining the character of the impression we make upon those
+around us.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+DRESS.
+
+    From little matters let us pass to less,
+    And lightly touch the mysteries of dress;
+    The outward forms the inner man reveal;
+    We guess the pulp before we eat the peel.--_O. W. Holmes._
+
+
+I.--THE LANGUAGE OF DRESS.
+
+Dress has its language, which is, or may be, read and understood by
+all. It is one of the forms in which we naturally give expression to
+our tastes, our constructive faculties, our reason, our feelings, our
+habits--in a word, to our character, as a whole. This expression is
+often greatly modified by the arbitrary laws of Fashion, and by
+circumstances of time, place, and condition, which we can not wholly
+control; but can hardly be entirely falsified. Even that arch tyrant,
+the reigning _Mode_, whatever it may be, leaves us little room for
+choice in materials, forms, and colors, and the choice we make
+indicates our prominent traits of character.
+
+
+II.--THE USES OF DRESS.
+
+"Dress," that admirable Art Journal the _Crayon_ says, "has two
+functions--to clothe and to ornament; and while we can not lose sight
+of either point, we must not attribute to the one a power which
+belongs to the other. The essential requirement of dress is to cover
+and make comfortable the body, and of two forms of dress which fulfill
+this function equally well, that is the better which is most accordant
+with the laws of beauty. But fitness must in nowise be interfered
+with; and the garb which infringes on this law gives us pain rather
+than pleasure. We believe that it will be found that fitness and
+beauty, so far from requiring any sacrifice for combination, are found
+each in the highest degree where both are most fully obtained--that
+the fittest, most comfortable dress is that which is most graceful or
+becoming. Fitness is the primary demand; and _the dress that appears
+uncomfortable is untasteful_.
+
+"But in the secondary function of dress, ornamentation, there are
+several diverse objects to be attained--dignity, grace, vivacity,
+brilliancy, are qualities distinguishing different individuals, and
+indicating the impression they wish to make on society, and are
+expressed by different combinations of the elements of beauty, line,
+or form, and color. When the appareling of the outer being is in most
+complete harmony with the mental constitution, the taste is fullest."
+
+
+III.--THE ART OF DRESS.
+
+True art adapts dress to its uses, as indicated in the foregoing
+extract. It is based on universal principles fundamental to all art.
+
+The art-writer already quoted says, very truly, that "Dress is always
+to be considered as secondary to the person." This is a fundamental
+maxim in the art of costume, but is often lost sight of, and dress
+made _obtrusive_ at the expense of the individuality of the wearer. A
+man's vest or cravat must not seem a too important part of him. Dress
+may heighten beauty, but it can not create it. If you are not better
+and more beautiful than your clothes you are, indeed, a man or a woman
+of straw.
+
+The next principle to be regarded is the _fitness_ of your costume, in
+its forms materials, and colors, to your person and circumstances, and
+to the conditions of the time, place and occasion on which it is to be
+worn. Fashion often compels us to violate this principle, and dress
+in the most absurd, incongruous, unbecoming, and uncomfortable style.
+A little more self-respect and independence, however, would enable us
+to resist many of her most preposterous enactments. But Fashion is not
+responsible for all the incongruities in dress with which we meet.
+They are often the result of bad taste and affectation.
+
+The first demand of this law of fitness is, that your costume shall
+accord with your person. The young and the old, we all instinctively
+know, should not dress alike. Neither should the tall and the short,
+the dark and the light, the pale and the rosy, the grave and the gay,
+the tranquil and the vivacious. Each variety of form, color, and
+character has its appropriate style; but our space here is too limited
+to allow us to do more than drop a hint toward what each requires, to
+produce the most harmonious and effective combination. In another
+work,[A] now in the course of preparation, this important subject will
+be treated in detail.
+
+"In form, simplicity and long, unbroken lines give dignity, while
+complicated and short lines express vivacity. Curves, particularly if
+long and sweeping, give grace while straight lines and angles indicate
+power and strength. In color, unity of tint gives repose--if somber,
+gravity but if light and clear, then a joyous serenity--variety of
+tint giving vivacity, and if contrasted, brilliancy."
+
+Longitudinal stripes in a lady's dress make her appear taller than she
+really is, and are therefore appropriate for persons of short stature.
+Tall women, for this reason, should never wear them. Flounces are
+becoming to tall persons, but not to short ones. The colors worn
+should be determined by the complexion, and should harmonize with it.
+"Ladies with delicate rosy complexions bear white and blue better than
+dark colors, while sallow hues of complexion will not bear these
+colors near them, and require dark, quiet, or grave colors to improve
+their appearance. Yellow is the most trying and dangerous of all, and
+can only be worn by the rich-toned, healthy-looking brunette."
+
+In the second place, there should be harmony between your dress and
+your circumstances. It should accord with your means, your house, your
+furniture, the place in which you reside, and the society in which you
+move.
+
+Thirdly, your costume should be suited to the time, place, and
+occasion on which it is to be worn. That summer clothes should not be
+worn in winter, or winter clothes in summer, every one sees clearly
+enough. The law of fitness as imperatively demands that you should
+have one dress for the kitchen, the field, or the workshop, and
+another, and quite a different one, for the parlor; one for the street
+and another for the carriage, one for a ride on horseback and another
+for a ramble in the country. Long, flowing, and even trailing skirts
+are beautiful and appropriate in the parlor, but in the muddy streets,
+draggling in the filth, and embarrassing every movement of the wearer,
+or in the country among the bushes and briers, they lose all their
+beauty and grace, because no longer fitting. The prettiest costume we
+have ever seen for a shopping excursion or a walk in the city, and
+especially for a ramble in the country, is a short dress or frock
+reaching to the knee, and trowsers of the common pantaloon form, but
+somewhat wider. Full Turkish trowsers might be worn with this dress,
+but are less convenient. The waist or body of the dress is made with a
+yoke and belt, and pretty full. The sleeves should be gathered into a
+band and buttoned at the wrist. A _saque_ or a _basque_ of a different
+color from the waist has a fine effect as a part of this costume. Add
+to it a gipsy hat and good substantial shoes or boots, and you may
+walk with ease, grace, and pleasure. This was the working and walking
+costume of the women of the North American Phalanx, and is still worn
+on the domain which once belonged to that Association, though the
+institution which gave it its origin has ceased to exist. If you
+reside in a place where you can adopt this as your industrial and
+walking costume, without too much notoriety and odium, try it. You
+must judge of this for yourself. We are telling you what is fitting,
+comfortable, and healthful, and therefore, in its place, beautiful,
+and not what it is expedient for you to wear. The time is coming when
+such a costume may be worn anywhere. Rational independence, good
+taste, and the study of art are preparing the way for the complete
+overthrow of arbitrary fashion. Help us to hasten the time when both
+women and men shall be permitted to dress as the eternal principles,
+harmony, and beauty dictate, and be no longer the slaves of the tailor
+and the dressmaker.
+
+But without adopting any innovations liable to shock staid
+conservatism or puritanic prudery, you may still, in a good measure,
+avoid the incongruities which we are now compelled to witness, and
+make your costume accord with place and occupation.
+
+In the field, garden, and workshop, gentlemen can wear nothing more
+comfortable and graceful than the blouse. It may be worn loose or
+confined by a belt. If your occupation is a very dusty one, wear
+overalls. In the counting-room and office, gentlemen wear frock-coats
+or sack coats. They need not be of very fine material, and should not
+be of any garish pattern. In your study or library, and about the
+house generally, on ordinary occasions, a handsome dressing-gown is
+comfortable and elegant.
+
+A lady, while performing the morning duties of her household may wear
+a plain loose dress, made high in the neck, and with long sleeves
+fastened at the wrist. It must not look slatternly, and may be
+exceedingly beautiful and becoming.
+
+In reference to ornament, "the law of dress," to quote our
+artist-friend again, "is, that where you want the eye of a spectator
+to rest (for we all dress for show), you should concentrate your
+decoration, leaving the parts of the apparel to which you do not want
+attention called, as plain and negative as possible--not ugly, as some
+people, in an affectation of plainness, do (for you have no right to
+offend the eye of your fellow-man with any thing which is ugly), but
+simply negative."
+
+
+IV.--MATERIALS, ETC.
+
+The materials of which your clothes are made should be the best that
+your means will allow. One generally exercises a very bad economy and
+worse taste in wearing low-priced and coarse materials. For your
+working costume, the materials should of course correspond with the
+usage to which they are to be subjected. They should be strong and
+durable, but need not therefore be either very coarse or at all ugly.
+As a general rule, it costs no more to dress well than ill.
+
+A gentleman's shirts should always be fine, clean, and well-fitted. It
+is better to wear a coarse or threadbare coat than a disreputable
+shirt. The better taste and finer instincts of the ladies will require
+no hint in reference to their "most intimate appareling." True taste,
+delicacy, and refinement regards the under clothing as scrupulously as
+that which is exposed to view.
+
+The coverings of the head and the feet are important and should by no
+means be inferior to the rest of your apparel. Shoes are better than
+boots, except in cases where the latter are required for the
+protection of the feet and ankles against water, snow, or injury from
+briers, brambles, and the like. Ladies' shoes for walking should be
+substantial enough to keep the feet dry and warm. If neatly made, and
+well-fitting, they need not be clumsy. Thin shoes, worn on the damp
+ground or pavement, have carried many a beautiful woman to her grave.
+If you wish to have corns and unshapely feet, wear tight shoes; they
+never fail to produce those results.
+
+The fashionable fur hat, in its innumerable but always ugly forms, is,
+in the eye of taste, an absurd and unsightly covering for the head;
+and it is hardly less uncomfortable and unhealthful than ugly. The
+fine, soft, and more picturesque felt hats now, we are glad to say,
+coming more and more into vogue, are far more comfortable and
+healthful. A light, fine straw hat is the best for summer.
+
+The bonnets of the ladies, in their fashionable forms, are only a
+little less ugly and unbecoming than the fur hats of the gentlemen. A
+broad-brimmed or gipsy hat is far more becoming to most women than the
+common bonnet. We hope to live to see both "stove-pipe hats" and
+"sugar-scoop bonnets" abolished; but, in the mean time let those wear
+them who _must_.
+
+
+V.--MRS. MANNERS ON DRESS.
+
+Mrs. Manners, the highest authority we can possibly quote in such
+matters, has the following hints to girls, which we can not deny
+ourselves the pleasure of copying, though they may seem, in part, a
+repetition of remarks already made:
+
+"Good taste is indispensable in dress, but that, united to neatness,
+is _all_ that is _necessary_--that is the fabled cestus of Venus which
+gave beauty to its wearer. Good taste involves _suitable fabrics--a
+neat and becoming 'fitting' to her figure--colors suited to her
+complexion, and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one's
+clothes_. A worsted dress in a warm day, or a white one in a cold day,
+or a light, thin one in a windy day, are all in _bad_ taste. Very fine
+or very delicate dresses worn in the street, or very highly ornamented
+clothes worn to church or to shop in, are in _bad_ taste. Very long
+dresses worn in muddy or dusty weather, even if long dresses are the
+_fashion_, are still in _bad_ taste.
+
+"Deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste; very few
+persons are careful enough in selecting gloves. Light shoes and dark
+dresses, white stockings and dark dresses, dark stockings and light
+dresses, are not indicative of good taste. A girl with neatly and
+properly dressed feet, with neat, well-fitting gloves, smoothly
+arranged hair, and a clean, well-made dress, who walks well, and
+speaks well, and, above all, acts politely and kindly, _is a lady_,
+and no _wealth_ is required here. Fine clothes and fine airs are
+abashed before such propriety and good taste. Thus the poorest may be
+so attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest; nothing is
+more _vulgar_ than the idea that money makes a lady, or that fine
+clothes can do it."
+
+
+VI.--WEARING THE HAIR AND BEARD.
+
+The hair and beard, in one of their aspects, belong to the dress. In
+reference to the style of wearing them, consult the general principles
+of taste. A man to whom nature has given a handsome beard, deforms
+himself sadly by shaving--at least, that is our opinion; and on this
+point fashion and good taste agree. The full beard is now more common
+than the shaven face in all our large cities.
+
+In the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a great
+deal of taste and judgment. The style should vary with the different
+forms of face. Lardner's "Young Ladies' Manual" has the following
+hints to the gentler sex. Gentlemen can modify them to suit their
+case:
+
+"After a few experiments, a lady may very easily decide what mode of
+dressing her hair, and what head-dress renders her face most
+attractive.
+
+"Ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one. On the
+other hand, the fashion of putting the hair smoothly, and drawing it
+back on either side, is becoming to few; it has a look of vanity
+instead of simplicity: the face must do every thing for it, which is
+asking too much, especially as hair, in its pure state, is the
+ornament intended for it by nature. Hair is to the human aspect what
+foliage is to the landscape.
+
+"Light hair is generally most becoming when curled. For a round face,
+the curls should be made in short, half ringlets, reaching a little
+below the ears. For an oval face, long and thick ringlets are
+suitable; but if the face be thin and sharp, the ringlets should be
+light, and not too long, nor too many in number.
+
+"When dark hair is curled, the ringlets should never fall in heavy
+masses upon the shoulders. Open braids are very beautiful when made of
+dark hair; they are also becoming to light-haired persons. A simple
+and graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locks
+behind the ears, permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringlets
+on either side behind.
+
+"Another beautiful mode of dressing the hair, and one very appropriate
+in damp weather, when it will keep in curl, is to loop up the ringlets
+with small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears,
+and pass a light band of braided hair over them.
+
+"Persons with very long, narrow heads may wear the hair knotted very
+low at the back of the neck. If the head be long, but not very narrow,
+the back hair may be drawn to one side, braided in a thick braid, and
+wound around the head. When the head is round, the hair should be
+formed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head. If the braid
+be made to resemble a basket, and a few curls permitted to fall from
+within it, the shape of the head is much improved."
+
+
+VII.--ART _VS._ FASHION.
+
+Observe that we have been laying down some of the maxims deduced from
+the principles of art and taste, in their application to dress, and
+not promulgating the edicts of Fashion. If there is a lack of harmony
+on some points, between the two, it is not our fault. We have
+endeavored to give you some useful hints in reference to the beautiful
+and the fitting in costume, based on a higher law than the enactments
+of the fashion-makers. You must judge for yourself how far you can
+make the latter bend to the former. We have been talking of dress as
+an individual matter. In future chapters we shall have occasion to
+refer to it in its relation to the usages of society.
+
+
+VIII.--SIGNS OF "THE GOOD TIME COMING."
+
+N. P. Willis, in the _Home Journal_, writing on the dress-reform
+agitation, thus closes his disquisition:
+
+"We repeat, that we see signs which look to us as if the present
+excitement as to _one_ fashion were turning into a universal inquiry
+as to the sense or propriety of _any fashion at all_. When the subject
+shall have been fully discussed, and public attention fully awakened,
+common sense will probably take the direction of the matter, and
+opinion will settle in some shape which, at least, may reject former
+excesses and absurdities. Some moderate similarity of dress is
+doubtless necessary, and there are proper times and places for long
+dresses and short dresses. These and other points the ladies are
+likely to come to new decisions about. While they consult health,
+cleanliness, and convenience, however, we venture to express a hope
+that they will _get rid of the present slavish uniformity_--that what
+is becoming to each may be worn without fear of unfashionableness, and
+that in this way we may see every woman dressed somewhat differently
+and to her own best advantage, and the _proportion of beauty largely
+increased_, as it would, thereby, most assuredly be."
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[A] "Hints toward Physical Perfection; or, How to Acquire and Retain
+Beauty, Grace, and Strength, and Secure Long Life and Perpetual
+Youth."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+SELF-CULTURE
+
+     There is no man who can so easily and so naturally become in
+     all points a Gentleman Knight, without fear and without
+     reproach, as a true American Republican.--_James Parton._
+
+
+I.-MORAL AND SOCIAL TRAINING.
+
+Having given due attention to your personal habits and dress, consider
+what special errors still remain to be corrected, or what deficiencies
+to be supplied, and carefully and perseveringly apply yourself to the
+required self-training.
+
+If you are sensible of an inadequate development of any of those
+faculties or feelings on which good manners are based, set yourself at
+once about the work of cultivation, remembering that the legitimate
+exercise of any organ or function necessarily tends to its
+development. Look first to conscientiousness. It is hardly possible
+for you to acquire genuine good manners without an acute sense of
+equity. Accustom yourself to a sacred regard for the rights of others,
+even in the minutest matters, and in the most familiar intercourse of
+the family or social circle. In a similar manner cultivate
+Benevolence, Veneration, Adhesiveness, Agreeableness, Ideality, and
+the moral, social, and esthetic faculties in general. Go out of your
+way, if necessary, to perform acts of kindness and friendship; never
+omit the "thank you" which is due for the slightest possible favor,
+whether rendered by the highest or the lowest; be always bland and
+genial; respect times, places, observances, and especially persons;
+and put yourself in the way of all possible elevating and refining
+influences. Manners have their origin in the mind and the heart.
+Manners do not make the man, as is sometimes asserted; but the man
+makes the manners. It is true, however, that the manners react upon
+mind and heart, continually developing and improving the qualities out
+of which they spring.
+
+You are placed in a particular community, or you are invited or wish
+to gain admittance into a certain circle. Different communities and
+circles require, to some extent, different qualifications. Ascertain
+what you lack and acquire it as speedily as possible; but remember
+that good sense and good nature are out of place in no company.
+
+
+II.--LANGUAGE.
+
+Conversation plays an important part in the intercourse of society. It
+is a great and valuable accomplishment to be able to talk well.
+Cultivate language and the voice. Learn to express yourself with
+correctness, ease, and elegance. This subject is worthy of all the
+time and study you can give to it. "How to Talk: a Pocket Manual of
+Conversation and Debate," which forms one of this series of
+"Hand-Books for Home Improvement," will give you all necessary aid in
+this department.
+
+
+III.--POSITION AND MOVEMENT.
+
+Study also the graces of manner, motion, and position. Grace is
+natural, no doubt, but most of us have nearly lost sight of nature. It
+is often with the greatest difficulty that we find our way back to her
+paths. It seems a simple and easy thing to walk, and a still easier
+and simpler thing to stand or sit, but not one in twenty perform
+either of these acts with ease and grace. There are a hundred little
+things connected with attitude, movement, the carriage of the arms,
+the position of the feet and the like, which, though seemingly
+unimportant are really essential to elegance and ease. Never despise
+these little things, or be ashamed to acquire the smallest grace by
+study and practice.
+
+You desire to be a person of "good standing" in society. How _do_ you
+stand? We refer now to the artistic or esthetic point of view. If you
+are awkward, you are more likely to manifest your awkwardness in
+standing than in walking. Do you know where to put your feet and what
+to do with your hands? In the absence of any better rule or example,
+try to forget your limbs, and let them take care of themselves. But
+observe the attitudes which sculptors give to their statues; and study
+also those of children, which are almost always graceful, because
+natural. Avoid, on the one hand, the stiffness of the soldier, and, on
+the other, the ape-like suppleness of the dancing-master; and let
+there be no straining, no fidgeting, no uneasy shifting of position.
+You should stand on _both_ feet, bearing a little more heavily on one
+than the other. The same general principles apply to the sitting
+posture. This may be either graceful, dignified, and elegant, or
+awkward, abject, and uncouth. The latter class of qualities may be got
+rid of and the former acquired, and depend upon it, it is a matter of
+some consequence which of them characterizes your position and
+movements. Walking is not so difficult an accomplishment as standing
+and sitting, but should receive due attention. It has a very close
+connection with character, and either of them may be improved or
+deteriorated through the other. A close observer and a sensible and
+trustworthy monitor of their own sex thus enumerates some of the
+common faults of women in their "carriage," or manner of walking:
+
+"Slovenliness in walking characterizes some. They go shuffling along,
+precisely as if their shoes were down at the heel--"slipshod"--and
+they could not lift up their feet in consequence. If it is dusty or
+sandy, they kick up the dust before them and fill their skirts with
+it. This is exceedingly ungraceful. If I were a gentleman, I really do
+not think I could marry a lady who walked like this; she would appear
+so very undignified, and I could not be proud of her.
+
+"Some have another awkwardness. They lift up their feet so high that
+their knees are sent out before them showing the movement through the
+dress. They always seem to be leaving their skirts behind them,
+instead of carrying them gracefully about them. Some saunter along so
+loosely they seem to be hung on wires; others are as stiff as if they
+supposed only straight lines were agreeable to the eye; and others,
+again, run the chin forward considerably in advance of the breast,
+looking very silly and deficient in self-respect.
+
+"Sometimes a lady walks so as to turn up her dress behind every time
+she puts her foot back, and I have seen a well-dressed woman made to
+look very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing her
+elbows too far behind her. Some hold their hands up to the waist, and
+press their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were glued
+there; others swing them backward and forward, as a business man walks
+along the street. _Too short_ steps detract from dignity very much,
+forming a mincing pace; too long steps are masculine.
+
+"Some walk upon the ball of the foot very flatly and clumsily; others
+come down upon the heel as though a young elephant was moving; and
+others, again, ruin their shoes and their appearance by walking upon
+the side of the foot. Many practice a stoop called the Grecian bend,
+and when they are thirty, will pass well, unless the face be seen, for
+fifty years' old."
+
+Gymnastics, dancing, and the military drill are excellent auxiliaries
+in the work of physical training, though all of them may be, and
+constantly are, abused. We can not illustrate their application here.
+They will receive the attention they deserve in "Hints toward Physical
+Perfection," already referred to as in preparation.
+
+
+IV.--SELF-COMMAND.
+
+Without perfect self-control you are constantly liable to do something
+amiss, and your other social qualifications will avail little. You
+must not only be fully conscious who you are, what you are, where you
+are, and what you are about, but you must also have an easy and
+complete control of all your words and actions, and feel _at home_
+wherever you are. You are liable to lose this self-command either
+through bashfulness or excitement. The former is one of the greatest
+obstacles with which a majority of young people have to contend. It
+can be overcome by _resolute effort_ and the cultivation of
+self-respect and self-reliance. Do not allow it to keep you out of
+society. You will not conquer it by such a course. You might as
+reasonably expect to learn to swim without going into the water.
+
+
+V.--OBSERVATION.
+
+One of the best means of improvement in manners is observation. In
+company, where you are in doubt in reference to any rule or form, be
+quiet and observe what others do, and govern your conduct by theirs;
+but except in mere external forms, beware of a servile imitation. Seek
+to understand the principles which underlie the observances you
+witness, and to become imbued with the spirit of the society (if good)
+in which you move, rather than to copy particulars in the manners of
+any one.
+
+
+VI.--PRACTICAL LESSONS.
+
+But the most important instrumentality for the promotion of the
+externals of good manners is constant practice in the actual every-day
+intercourse of society; and without this our instructions and your
+study will both be thrown away. Begin now, to-day, with the next
+person you meet or address.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.
+
+     Courtesy is the beautiful part of morality, justice carried to
+     the utmost, rectitude refined, magnanimity in trifles.--_Life
+     Illustrated._
+
+
+I.--MANNERS AND MORALS.
+
+Good manners and good morals are founded on the same eternal
+principles of right, and are only different expressions of the same
+great truths. Both grow out of the necessities of our existence and
+relations. We have individual rights based on the fact of our
+individual being; and we have social duties resulting from our
+connection, in the bonds of society, with other individuals who have
+similar rights. Morals and manners alike, while they justify us in
+asserting and maintaining our own rights, require us scrupulously to
+respect, in word and act, the rights of others. It is true that the
+former, in the common comprehension of the term, is satisfied with
+simple justice in all our relations, while the latter often requires
+something more than the strictest conscientiousness can demand--a
+yielding of more than half the road--an exercise of the sentiment of
+benevolence, as well as of equity; but the highest morality really
+makes the same requisition, for it includes politeness, and recognizes
+deeds of kindness as a duty.
+
+
+II.--RIGHTS.
+
+In this country we need no incitements to the assertion and
+maintenance of our rights, whether individual or national. We are
+ready at all times to do battle for them either with the tongue, the
+pen, or the sword, as the case may require. Even women have discovered
+that _they_ have rights, and he must be a bold man indeed who dares
+call them in question. Yes, we all, men, women, and children, have
+rights, and are forward enough in claiming then. Are we equally ready
+to respect the rights of others?
+
+
+III.--DUTIES.
+
+Out of rights grow duties; the first of which is to live an honest,
+truthful, self-loyal life, acting and speaking always and everywhere
+in accordance with the laws of our being, as revealed in our own
+physical and mental organization. It is by the light of this fact that
+we must look upon all social requirements, whether in dress, manners,
+or morals. All that is fundamental and genuine in these will be found
+to harmonize with universal principles, and consequently with our
+primary duty in reference to ourselves.
+
+
+1. _The Senses._
+
+Whenever and wherever we come in contact with our fellow-men, there
+arises a question of rights, and consequently of duties. We have
+alluded incidentally to some of them, in speaking of habits and dress.
+The senses of each individual have their rights, and it is your duty
+to respect them. The eye has a claim upon you for so much of beauty in
+form, color, arrangement, position, and movement as you are able to
+present to it. A French author has written a book, the aim of which is
+to show that it is the duty of a pretty woman to look pretty. It is
+the duty of _all_ women, and all men too, to look and behave just as
+well as they can, and whoever fails in this, fails in good manners and
+in duty. The ear demands agreeable tones and harmonious combinations
+of tones--pleasant words and sweet songs. If you indulge in loud
+talking, in boisterous and untimely laughter, or in profane or vulgar
+language, or sing out of tune, you violate its rights and offend good
+manners. The sense of smell requires pleasant odors for its enjoyment.
+Fragrance is its proper element. To bring the fetid odor of unwashed
+feet or filthy garments, or the stench of bad tobacco or worse whisky,
+or the offensive scent of onions or garlics within its sphere, is an
+act of impoliteness. The sense of taste asks for agreeable flavors,
+and has a right to the best we can give in the way of palatable foods
+and drinks. The sense of feeling, though less cultivated and not so
+sensitive as the others, has its rights too, and is offended by too
+great coarseness, roughness, and hardness. It has a claim on us for a
+higher culture.
+
+
+2. _The Faculties._
+
+And if the senses have their rights, we must admit that the higher
+faculties and feelings of our nature are at least equally dowered in
+this respect. You can not trespass upon one of them without a
+violation of good manners. We can not go into a complete exposition of
+the "bill of rights" of each. You can analyze them for yourself, and
+learn the nature of their claims upon you. In the mean time, we will
+touch upon a point or two here and there.
+
+
+3. _Opinions._
+
+Each person has a right to his or her opinions, and to the expression
+of them _on proper occasions_, and there is no duty more binding upon
+us all than the most complete and respectful toleration. The author of
+"The Illustrated Manners Book" truly says:
+
+"_Every denial of, or interference with, the personal freedom or
+absolute rights of another, is a violation of good manners._ He who
+presumes to censure me for my religious belief, or want of belief; who
+makes it a matter of criticism or reproach that I am a Theist or
+Atheist, Trinitarian or Unitarian, Catholic or Protestant, Pagan or
+Christian, Jew, Mohammedan, or Mormon, is guilty of rudeness and
+insult. If any of these modes of belief make me intolerant or
+intrusive, he may resent such intolerance or repel such intrusion; but
+the basis of all true politeness and social enjoyment is the mutual
+tolerance of personal rights."
+
+
+4. _The Sacredness of Privacy._
+
+Here is another passage from the author just quoted which is so much
+to the point that we can not forbear to copy it:
+
+"One of the rights most commonly trespassed upon constituting a
+violent breach of good manners, is the right of privacy, or of the
+control of one's own person and affairs. There are places in this
+country where there exists scarcely the slightest recognition of this
+right. A man or woman bolts into your house without knocking. No room
+is sacred unless you lock the door, and an exclusion would be an
+insult. Parents intrude upon children, and children upon parents. The
+husband thinks he has a right to enter his wife's room, and the wife
+would feel injured if excluded, by night or day, from her husband's.
+It is said that they even open each other's letters, and claim, as a
+right, that neither should have any secrets from the other.
+
+"It in difficult to conceive of such a state of intense barbarism in a
+civilized country, such a denial of the simplest and most primitive
+rights, such an utter absence of delicacy and good manners; and had we
+not been assured on good authority that such things existed, we
+should consider any suggestions respecting them needless and
+impertinent.
+
+"Each person in a dwelling should, if possible, have a room as sacred
+from intrusion as the house is to the family. No child, grown to years
+of discretion, should be outraged by intrusion. No relation, however
+intimate, can justify it. So the trunks, boxes, packets, papers, and
+letters of every individual, locked or unlocked, sealed or unsealed,
+are sacred. It is ill manners even to open a book-case, or to read a
+written paper lying open, without permission expressed or implied.
+Books in an open case or on a center-table, cards in a card-case, and
+newspapers, are presumed to be open for examination. Be careful where
+you go, what you read, and what you handle, particularly in private
+apartments."
+
+This right to privacy extends to one's business, his personal
+relations, his thoughts, and his feelings. _Don't intrude_; and always
+"mind your own business," which means, by implication, that you must
+let other people's business alone.
+
+
+5. _Conformity._
+
+You must conform, to such an extent as not to annoy and give offense,
+to the customs, whether in dress or other matters, of the circle in
+which you move. This conformity is an implied condition in the social
+compact. It is a practical recognition of the right of others, and
+shows merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings. If you
+can not sing in tune with the rest, or on the same key, remain silent.
+You may be right and the others wrong but that does not alter the
+case. Convince them, if you can, and bring them to your pitch, but
+never mar even a low accord. So if you can not adapt your dress and
+manners to the company in which you find yourself, the sooner you take
+your leave the better. You may and should endeavor, in a proper way,
+to change such customs and fashions as you may deem wrong, or
+injurious in their tendency, but, in the mean time, you have no right
+to violate them. You may choose your company, but, having chosen it,
+you must conform to its rules til you can change them. You are not
+compelled to reside in Rome; but if you choose to live there, you must
+"do as the Romans do."
+
+The rules which should govern your conduct, as an isolated individual,
+were such a thing as isolation possible in the midst of society, are
+modified by your relations to those around you. This life of ours is a
+complex affair, and our greatest errors arise from our one-side views
+of it. We are sovereign individuals, and are born with certain
+"inalienable rights;" but we are also members of that larger
+individual society, and our rights can not conflict with the duties
+which grow out of that relation. If by means of our non-conformity we
+cause ourselves to be cut off, like an offending hand, or plucked out,
+like an offending eye, our usefulness is at once destroyed.
+
+It is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion he
+turned his tea into his saucer, contrary to his custom and to the
+etiquette of society, because two country ladies, whose hospitalities
+he was enjoying, did so. That king was a _gentleman_; and this
+anecdote serves to illustrate an important principle; namely, that
+_true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit, but
+absolutely demand, a violation of some of the arbitrary rules of
+etiquette_.
+
+The _highest law_ demands complete HARMONY in all spheres and in all
+relations.
+
+
+IV.--EQUALITY.
+
+In the qualified sense which no doubt Mr. Jefferson affixed to the
+term in his own mind, "all men _are_ created free and _equal_." The
+"noble Oracle" himself had long before as explicitly asserted the
+natural equality of man. In 1739, thirty-seven years before the
+Declaration of Independence was penned, Lord Chesterfield wrote: "We
+are of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us,
+except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman and
+Lizette would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor,
+they are obliged to serve you. Therefore you must not add to their
+misfortune by insulting or ill-treating them. A good heart never
+reminds people of their misfortune, but endeavors to alleviate, or, if
+possible, to make them forget it."
+
+The writer in _Life Illustrated_, quoted in a previous chapter, states
+the case very clearly as follows:
+
+"It is in the sacredness of their rights that men are equal. The
+smallest injustice done to the smallest man on earth is an offense
+against all men; an offense which all men have a personal and equal
+interest in avenging. If John Smith picks my pocket, the cause in
+court is correctly entitled, 'The PEOPLE _versus_ John Smith.' The
+whole State of New York has taken up my quarrel with John, and arrays
+itself against John in awful majesty; because the pockets, the
+interests, the rights of a man are _infinitely_, and therefore
+_equally_, sacred.
+
+"The conviction of this truth is the beginning and basis of the
+science of republican etiquette, which acknowledges no _artificial_
+distinctions. Its leading principle is, that courtesy is due to all
+men from all men; from the servant to the served; from the served to
+the servant; and from both for precisely the same reason, namely,
+because both are human beings and _fellow_-citizens!"
+
+
+V.--A REMARK OR TWO TO BE REMEMBERED.
+
+We purpose, in succeeding chapters, to set forth briefly but clearly,
+what the actual requirements of good society are in reference to
+behavior. You must look at these in the light of the general
+principles we have already laid down. It is not for us to say how far
+you ought or can conform to any particular custom, usage, or rule of
+etiquette. We believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious of
+them either have or have had a reason and a meaning. In many cases,
+however, the reason may no longer exist, and the form be meaningless;
+or while it embodies what is a living truth to others, you may have
+outgrown it or advanced beyond it. _You have an undoubted right,
+politely but firmly, to decline to do what seems to you, looking upon
+the matter from your highest stand-point, to be clearly wrong, and it
+is no breach of good manners to do so_; but at the same time you
+should avoid, as far as possible, putting yourself in positions which
+call for the exercise of this right. If you can not conscientiously
+wear a dress coat, or a stove-pipe hat, or cut your hair, or eat
+flesh-meat, or drink wine, you will naturally avoid, under ordinary
+circumstances, the circles in which non-conformity in these matters
+would be deemed a breach of good manners. When it is necessary that
+you should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in all
+points without a violation of principle, you will courteously, and
+with proper respect for what they probably think entirely right, fall
+back upon the "higher law;" but if it is a mere matter of gloved or
+ungloved hands, cup or saucer, fork or knife, you will certainly have
+the courtesy and good sense to conform to usage.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+DOMESTIC MANNERS.
+
+     Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for
+     the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every
+     pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he
+     will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in
+     another school.--_Harrison._
+
+
+I.--A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS.
+
+Good manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes.
+Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only on
+special and rare occasions, it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you.
+If you are not well behaved in your own family circle, you will hardly
+be truly so anywhere, however strictly you may conform to the
+observances of good breeding, when in society. The true gentleman or
+lady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places--at home as
+well as abroad--in the field, or workshop, or in the kitchen, as well
+as in the parlor. A snob is--a _snob_ always and everywhere.
+
+If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or
+mother, his brothers or sisters, his wife or children; or fail to
+exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his
+own fireside, you may at once set him down as a boor, whatever
+_pretensions_ he may make to gentility.
+
+Dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as you
+please at home--that is, unless you please to behave in a perfectly
+gentlemanly or ladylike manner. The same rights exist there as
+elsewhere, and the same duties grow out of them, while the natural
+respect and affection which should be felt by each member of the
+family for all the other members, add infinitely to their sacredness.
+Let your good manners, then, begin at home.
+
+
+II.--PARENTS AND CHILDREN.
+
+American children (we are sorry to be obliged to say it) are not, as a
+general rule, well behaved. They are rude and disrespectful, if not
+disobedient. They inspire terror rather than love in the breasts of
+strangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order. In our
+drawing-rooms, on board our steamers, in our railway cars and stage
+coaches, they usually contrive to make themselves generally and
+particularly disagreeable by their familiarity, forwardness, and
+pertness. "Young America" can not brook restraint, has no conception
+of superiority, and reverences nothing. His ideas of equality admit
+neither limitation nor qualification. He is born with a full
+comprehension of his own individual rights, but is slow in learning
+his social duties. Through whose fault comes this state of things?
+American boys and girls have naturally as much good sense and
+good-nature as those of any other nation, and, when well trained, no
+children are more courteous and agreeable. The fault lies in their
+education. In the days of our grandfathers, children were taught
+manners at school--a rather rude, backwoods sort of manners, it is
+true, but better than the no manners at all of the present day. We
+must blame parents in this matter rather than their children. If you
+would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders
+as well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in their
+childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may
+be the better fitted to command in his turn.
+
+Those who are old enough to study this book, are old enough to take
+the matter in to their own hands, and remedy the defects and supply
+the deficiencies of their early education. We beg them to commence at
+once, and _at home_.
+
+Allow no false ideas of "liberty and equality" to cause you to forget
+for a moment the deference due to your father and your mother. The
+fifth commandment has not been and can not be abrogated. We commend to
+you the example of the Father of his Country. Look into the life of
+Washington, and mark what tender and respectful attentions
+characterized his intercourse with his only surviving parent. _He_
+never, we venture to say, spoke of his mother as "the old woman," or
+addressed her with incivility. "Never," an old friend of yours adjures
+you, "let youthful levity or the example of others betray you into
+forgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders to a certain
+deference." Nature, a counselor still more sage, we doubt not, has
+written the same injunction upon your heart. _Let your manners do
+justice to your feelings!_
+
+"Toward your father," that polished and courtly "gentleman of the old
+school," the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness
+and Fashion," says, "preserve always a deferential manner, mingled
+with a certain frankness indicating that thorough confidence--that
+entire understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee of
+good sense in both, and of inestimable value to every young man
+blessed with a right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated by
+experience with respect, receive even reproof without impatience of
+manner, and hasten to prove afterward that you cherish no resentful
+remembrance of what may have seemed to you too great severity or a too
+manifest assumption of authority.... In the inner temple of _home_, as
+well as where the world looks on, render him reverence due.
+
+"There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention
+that marks your manner to your mother the indescribable tenderness
+and rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance
+of early days. No other woman should ever induce you to forget this
+truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner ever
+indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection."
+
+
+III.--BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
+
+The intercourse of brothers and sisters should be marked by the
+frankness and familiarity befitting their intimate relation; but this
+certainly does not preclude the exercise of all the little courtesies
+of life. Young man, be polite to your sister. She is a woman, and all
+women have claims on you for courteous attentions; and the affection
+which exists between you adds tenfold to the sacredness of the claims
+she has upon you, not only for protection, but for the exercise toward
+her of all the sweet amenities of life. Except your mother and your
+wife or affianced mistress (if you have one), no one can possibly have
+an equal right to your attentions. If you are young and have neither
+wife nor lady-love, let your mother and your sisters be to you the
+embodiment of all that is tenderest, most beautiful, and best in the
+human world. You can have no better school than your daily intercourse
+with them, to fit you for female society in general. The young man who
+loves his sisters and always treats them with the politeness,
+deference, and kindness which is their due, is almost certain to be a
+favorite with their sex generally; so, _as you value your reputation
+for good manners and your success with other ladies, fail in no act of
+courtesy to your sisters_.
+
+The gentle and loving sister will need no injunction to treat an
+affectionate, polite, and attentive brother with the tender and
+respectful consideration which such a brother deserves. The charming
+little courtesies which you practice so gracefully in your
+intercourse with other gentlemen will not, you may be sure, be lost
+upon him. True politeness is never lost, and never out of place; and
+nowhere does it appear more attractive than at home.
+
+Stiff formality and cold ceremoniousness are repulsive anywhere, and
+are particularly so in the family circle; but the easy, frank, and
+genial intercourse of the fireside, instead of being marred, is
+refined and made still more delightful by courtesy.
+
+
+IV.--THE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
+
+Reader, are you married? But excuse us, if the question is not a
+proper one. If you are not, you doubtless hope to be, sooner or later,
+and therefore we will address you just as if you were.
+
+The husband should never cease to be a _lover_, or fail in any of
+those delicate attentions and tender expressions of affectionate
+solicitude which marked his intercourse before marriage with his
+heart's queen. All the respectful deference, every courteous
+observance, all the self-sacrificing devotion that can be claimed by a
+mistress is certainly due to a wife, and he is no true husband and no
+true _gentleman_ who withholds them. It is not enough that you honor,
+respect, and love your wife. You must put this honor, respect, and
+love into the forms of speech and action. Let no unkind word, no
+seeming indifference, no lack of the little attentions due her, remind
+her sadly of the sweet days of courtship and the honey-moon. Surely
+the love you thought would have been cheaply purchased at the price of
+a world is worth all you care to preserve. Is not the wife more, and
+better, and dearer than the sweetheart? We venture to hint that it is
+probably your own fault if she is not.
+
+The chosen companion of your life, the mother of your children, the
+sharer of all your joys and sorrows, as she possesses the highest
+place in your affections, should have the best place everywhere, the
+choicest morsels, the politest attentions, the softest, kindest words,
+the tenderest care. Love, duty, and good manners alike require it.
+
+And has the wife no duties? Have the courteous observances, the tender
+watchfulness, the pleasant words, the never-tiring devotion, which won
+your smiles, your spoken thanks, your kisses, your very self, in days
+gone by, now lost their value? Does not the husband rightly claim as
+much, at least, as the lover? If you find him less observant of the
+little courtesies due you, may this not be because you sometimes fail
+to reward him with the same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles? Ask your
+own heart.
+
+Have the comfort and happiness of your husband always in view, and let
+him _see_ and _feel_ that you still look up to him with trust and
+affection--that the love of other days has not grown cold. Dress for
+his eyes more scrupulously than for all the rest of the world; make
+yourself and your home beautiful for his sake; play and sing (if you
+can) to please him; try to beguile him from his cares; retain his
+affections in the same way you won them, and--be polite even to your
+husband.
+
+
+V.--ENTERTAINERS AND THEIR GUESTS.
+
+Hospitality takes a high rank among the social virtues; but we fear it
+is not held in so high esteem as formerly. Its duties are often
+fatiguing and irksome, no doubt, and sometimes quite unnecessarily so.
+One of the most important maxims of hospitality is, "Let your guests
+alone!" If it were generally observed it would save both hosts and
+visitors a world of trouble. Your first object should be to make your
+guests feel at home. This they never can do while your needless bustle
+and obtrusive attentions constantly remind them that they are not at
+home, and perhaps make them wish they were.
+
+You will not, of course, understand us to mean that you should devote
+no attention to your guests. On the contrary, you should assiduously
+labor to promote their comfort and enjoyment, opening to them every
+source of entertainment within your reach; but it should be done in
+that easy, delicate, considerate way which will make it seem a matter
+of course, and no trouble whatever to you. You should not seem to be
+conferring but receiving a favor.
+
+Begging your visitors to "make themselves at home," does not give them
+the home _feeling_. Genuine, unaffected friendliness, and an
+unobtrusive and almost unperceived attention to their wants alone will
+impart this. Allow their presence to interfere as little as possible
+with your domestic arrangements; thus letting them see that their
+visit does not disturb you, but that they fall, as it were, naturally
+into a vacant place in your household.
+
+Observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a person
+who, though he may be very much your friend, and really glad to see
+you, seems not to know what to do either with you or himself; and
+again, when in the house of another, you feel as much at ease as in
+your own. Mark the difference, more easily felt than described,
+between the manners of the two, and deduce therefrom a lesson for your
+own improvement.
+
+Furnish your rooms and table for your guests in as good style as your
+means and the circumstances of the case will permit, and make no fuss
+about it. To be unnecessarily sparing shows meanness, and to be
+extravagantly profuse is absurd as well an ruinous. Probably your
+visitors know whether your income is large or small and if they do not
+they will soon learn, on that point, all that it is necessary for
+them to know. But if any circumstance out of the ordinary course of
+things should render an apology necessary, make it at once and say no
+more about it.
+
+Avoid by all means the very common but very foolish habit of
+depreciating your own rooms, furniture, or viands, and expressing
+uncalled-for regrets that you have nothing better to offer, merely to
+give your guests an opportunity politely to contradict you. But you
+need not go to the other extreme and extol the meats you set before
+them. Say nothing about these matters.
+
+When visitors show any intention of leaving, you will of course
+express the desire you feel to have them stay longer, but good manners
+do not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes or
+sense of duty. It is to be supposed that they know their own affairs
+best.
+
+Guests sometimes forget (if they ever learned) that _they_ have any
+duties. We beg leave to jog their memory with the following hints from
+the graceful pen of "Mrs. Manners:"
+
+"To accommodate yourself to the habits and rules of the family, in
+regard to hours of rising or retiring, and particularly the hours for
+meals, is the first duty of a guest. Inform yourself as soon as
+possible when the meals occur--whether there will be a dressing-bell--at
+what time they meet for prayers, and thus become acquainted with all the
+family regulations. _It is always the better way for a family to adhere
+strictly to all their usual habits_; it is a much simpler matter for
+one to learn to conform to those than for half a dozen to be thrown out
+of a routine, which may be almost indispensable to the fulfillment of
+their importunate duties. It certainly must promote the happiness of
+any reasonable person to know that his presence is no restraint and
+no inconvenience.
+
+"Your own good sense and delicacy will teach you the desirability of
+keeping your room tidy, and your articles of dress and toilet as much
+in order as possible. If there is a deficiency of servants, a lady
+will certainly not hesitate to make her own bed, and to do for herself
+as much as possible, and for the family all that is in her power. I
+never saw an elegant lady of my acquaintance appear to better
+advantage than when once performing a service which, under other
+circumstances, might have been considered menial; yet, in her own
+house, she was surrounded by servants, and certainly she never used a
+broom or made a bed a her life."
+
+
+VI.--SERVANTS.
+
+We are all dependent, in one way or another, upon others. At one time
+we serve, at another we are served, and we are equally worthy of honor
+and respect in the one case as in the other. The man or the woman who
+serves us may or may not be our inferior in natural capacity,
+learning, manners, or wealth. Be this as it may, the relation in which
+we stand to him or her gives us no right beyond the exaction of the
+service stipulated or implied in that relation. The right to tyrannize
+over our inferiors in social position, to unnecessarily humiliate
+them, or to be rude and unkind can not exist, because it would be an
+infringement of other rights. Servants have rights as well as those
+whom they serve, and the latter have duties as well as the former. We
+owe those who labor for us something more than their wages. They have
+claims on us for a full recognition of their manhood or womanhood, and
+all the rights which grow out of that state.
+
+The true gentleman is never arrogant, or overbearing, or rude to
+domestics or _employees_. His commands are requests, and all
+services, no matter how humble the servant, are received with thanks,
+as if they were favors. We might say the same with still greater
+emphasis of the true lady. There is no surer sign of vulgarity than a
+needless assumption of the tone of authority and a haughty and
+supercilious bearing toward servants and inferiors in station
+generally. It is a small thing to say, "I thank you," but those little
+words are often better than gold. No one is too poor to bestow, or too
+rich to receive them.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY-DAY LIFE.
+
+     Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of
+     commercial life: returns are equally expected in both; and
+     people will no more advance their civility to a bear, than
+     their money to a bankrupt.--_Chesterfield._
+
+
+I.--A PRELIMINARY REMARK.
+
+In going out into the great world which lies outside of home we have
+no new principles to lay down for your guidance. Those we have set
+forth and illustrated in previous chapters are of universal
+application and meet all contingencies. We shall now essay a brief
+exposition of the established laws of etiquette, leaving each reader
+to judge for himself how far he can and ought to conform to them, and
+what modifications they require to adapt them to a change of time,
+place, and circumstances.
+
+
+II.--INTRODUCTIONS.
+
+It is neither necessary nor desirable to introduce everybody to
+everybody; and the promiscuous presentations sometimes inflicted upon
+us are anything but agreeable. You confer no favor on us, and only a
+nominal one on the person presented, by making us acquainted with one
+whom we do not desire to know; and you _may_ inflict a positive injury
+upon both. Yon also put yourself in an unpleasant position; for "an
+introduction is a social indorsement," and yell become to a certain
+extent responsible for the person you introduce. If he disgraces
+himself in any way you share, in a greater or less degree, in his
+disgrace. Be as cautious in this matter as you would in writing your
+name on the back of another man's note.
+
+As a general rule, no gentleman should be presented to a lady without
+her permission being previously obtained. Between gentlemen this
+formality is not always necessary, but you should have good reason to
+believe that the acquaintance will be agreeable to both, before
+introducing any persons to each other. If a gentleman requests you to
+present him to another gentleman who is his superior in social
+position, or to a lady, you should either obtain permission of the
+latter, or decline to accede to his request, on the ground that you
+are not sufficiently intimate yourself to take the liberty.
+
+If you are walking with a friend, and are met or joined by another, it
+is not necessary to introduce them to each other; but you may do so if
+you think they would be glad to become acquainted. The same rule will
+apply to other accidental meetings.
+
+When two men call upon a stranger on a matter of business, each should
+present the other.
+
+The inferior should be introduced to the superior--the gentleman to
+the lady, as, "Miss Brown, permit me to introduce Mr. Smith." A lady
+may, however, be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age or
+station. Gentlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age and
+position are mutually introduced; as, "Mr. Wilson, allow me to make
+you acquainted with Mr. Parker; Mr. Parker, Mr. Wilson."
+
+In presenting persons be very careful to speak their names plainly;
+and on being introduced to another, if you do not catch the name, say,
+without hesitation or embarrassment, "I beg your pardon, I did not
+hear the name."
+
+It is the common custom in this country to shake hands on being
+introduced. It is better that this should be optional with the person
+to whom you are presented or with you, if you stood in the position
+of the superior. If a lady or a superior in age or social position
+offers the hand, you of course accept it cordially. You will have too
+much self-respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case.
+In merely formal introductions a bow is enough. Feeling should govern
+in this matter.
+
+In introducing members of your own family you should always mention
+the name. Say, "My father Mr. Jones," "My daughter Miss Jones," or
+"Miss Mary Jones." Your wife is simply "Mrs. Jones;" and if there
+happen to be another Mrs. Jones in the family, she may be "Mrs. Jones,
+my sister-in-law," etc. To speak of your wife as "my lady," or enter
+yourselves on a hotel register as Mr. Jones and lady, is particularly
+_snobbish_.
+
+Introductions by letter are subject to the same general rules as
+verbal ones: we should, however, be still more cautious in giving
+them; but for directions on this point, as well as forms for letters
+of introduction, see "How to Write," Chapter IX.
+
+But may we not speak to a person without an introduction? In many
+cases we most certainly may and should. There is no reason in the
+world why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car or
+a stage coach should remain silent during the whole journey because
+they have not been introduced, when conversation might be agreeable to
+both. The same remark will apply to many other occasions. You are not
+obliged, however to know these _extempore_ acquaintances afterward.
+
+If you are a gentleman, do not, we beg you, permit the lack of an
+introduction to prevent you from promptly offering your services to
+any unattended lady who may need them. Take off your hat and politely
+beg the honor of protecting, escorting, or assisting her, and when the
+service has been accomplished, bow and retire.
+
+
+III.--SALUTATIONS.
+
+"Salutation," a French writer says, "is the touchstone of good
+breeding." Your good sense will teach you that it should vary in style
+with persons, times, places, and circumstances. You will meet an
+intimate friend with a hearty shake of the hand and an inquiry
+indicative of real interest, in reference to his health and that of
+his family. To another person you how respectfully without speaking. A
+slight note of recognition suffices in another case. But you should
+never come into the presence of any person, unless you feel at liberty
+to ignore their existence altogether, without some form of salutation.
+If you meet in company a person with whom you have a quarrel, it is
+better in general to bow coldly and ceremoniously than to seem not to
+see him.
+
+It is a great rudeness not to return a salutation, no matter how
+humble the person who salutes you. "A bow," La Fontaine says, "is a
+note drawn at sight. If you acknowledge it, you must pay the full
+amount." The two best bred men in England, Charles the Second and
+George the Fourth, never failed to take off their hats to the meanest
+of their subjects. A greater man than either, and a true "gentleman of
+the old school," George Washington, was wont to lift his hat even to
+the poor negro slave, who took off his as that great man passed.
+
+
+IV.--RECEPTIONS.
+
+The duty of receiving visitors usually devolves upon the mistress of
+the house, and should be performed in an easy, quiet, and self
+possessed manner, and without any unnecessary ceremony. In this way
+you will put your guests at their ease, and make their call or visit
+pleasant both to them and to yourself. From a little book before us
+entitled "Etiquette for Ladies," we condense a few useful hints on
+this subject:
+
+"When any one enters, whether announced or not, rise immediately,
+advance toward him, and request him to sit down. If it is a young man,
+_offer_ him an arm-chair, or a stuffed one; if an elderly man,
+_insist_ upon his _accepting_ the arm-chair; if a lady, beg her to be
+seated upon the sofa. If the master of the house receives the
+visitors, he will take a chair and place himself at a little distance
+from them; if, on the contrary, it is the mistress of the house, and
+if she is intimate with the lady who visits her, she will place
+herself near her. If several ladies come at once, we give the most
+honorable place to the one who, from age or other considerations, is
+most entitled to respect. In winter, the most honorable places are
+those at the corners of the fireplace.
+
+"If the visitor is a stranger, the master or mistress of the house
+rises, and any persons who may be already in the room should do the
+same. If some of them then withdraw, the master or mistress of the
+house should conduct them as far as the door. But whoever the person
+may be who departs, if we have other company, we may dispense with
+conducting farther than the door of the room."
+
+Quiet self-possession and unaffected courtesy will enable you to make
+even a ceremonious morning call tolerable, if not absolutely pleasant
+to both the caller and yourself.
+
+
+V.--VISITS AND CALLS.
+
+Visits are of various kinds, each of which has its own terms and
+observances. There are visits of ceremony, visits of congratulation,
+visits of condolence, visits of friendship.
+
+Visits of ceremony, though they take up a large share of the time of
+the fashionable lady, are very stupid affairs as a general thing, and
+have little to recommend them except--Fashion. The best thing about
+them is that they may and should be short.
+
+You pay visits of congratulation to your friends on the occurrence of
+any particularly auspicious event in his family, or on his appointment
+to any office or dignity.
+
+Visits of condolence should be made within the week after the event
+which calls for them.
+
+Let visits of friendship be governed by friendship's own laws, and the
+universal principles of good manners. We shall give no particular
+rules for the regulation of their time or their length.
+
+"Morning calls," the "Illustrated Manners Book" says "are the small
+change of social commerce; parties and assemblies are the heavy
+drafts. A call is not less than ten nor more than twenty minutes in
+the city; in the country a little longer. The time for a morning call
+is between eleven and two o'clock, unless your friends are so
+fashionable as to dine at five or six, in which case you can call from
+twelve to three. Morning, in fashionable parlance, means any time
+before dinner."
+
+In a morning call or visit of ceremony, the gentleman takes his hat
+and cane, if he carries one, into the room. The lady does not take off
+her bonnet and shawl. In attending ladies who are making morning
+calls, a gentleman assists them up the steps, rings the bell,
+_follows_ them into the room, and waits till they have finished their
+salutations, unless he has a part to perform in presenting them.
+Ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa, and
+when they have made their _adieux_ their cavaliers repeat the
+ceremony, and follow them out.
+
+Soiled overshoes or wet garments should not be worn into any room
+devoted to the use of ladies. Gentlemen must never remain seated in
+the company of ladies with whom he is ceremoniously associated, while
+they are standing. Always relieve ladies of their parcels, parasols,
+shawls, etc. whenever this will conduce to their convenience.[B]
+
+If you call on a person who is "engaged," or "not at home," leave your
+card. If there are several persons you desire to see, leave a card for
+each, or desire a servant to present your compliments to them
+severally. All visits should be returned, personally or by card, just
+as one should speak when spoken to, or answer a respectful letter.
+
+In visiting at a hotel, do not enter your friend's room till your card
+has announced you. If not at home, send your card to his room with
+your address written upon it as well as the name of the person for
+whom it is intended, to avoid mistakes.[C]
+
+When you are going abroad, intending to be absent for some time, you
+inclose your card in an envelope, having first, written T. T. L. [to
+take leave], or P. P. C. [_pour prendre conge_] upon it--for a man the
+former is better--and direct it outside to the person for whom it is
+intended. In taking leave of a _family_, you send as many cards as you
+would if you were paying an ordinary visit. When you return from your
+voyage, all the persons to whom, before going, you have sent cards,
+will pay you the first visit. If, previously to a voyage or his
+marriage, any one should not send his card to another, it is to be
+understood that he wishes the acquaintance to cease. The person,
+therefore, who is thus _dis_carded, should never again visit the
+other.[D]
+
+Visiting cards should be engraved or handsomely written. Those
+printed on type are considered vulgar, simply, no doubt, because they
+are cheap. A gentleman's card should be of medium size, unglazed,
+ungilt, and perfectly plain. A lady's card may be larger and finer,
+and should be carried in a card-case.
+
+If you should happen to be paying an evening visit at a house, where,
+unknown to you, there is a small party assembled, you should enter and
+present yourself precisely as you would have done had you been
+invited. To retire precipitately with an apology for the intrusion
+would create a _scene_, and be extremely awkward. Go in, therefore,
+converse with ease for a few moments, and then retire.
+
+In making morning calls, usage allows a gentleman to wear a frock
+coat, or a sack coat, if the latter happen to be in fashion. The frock
+coat is now, in this country, _tolerated_ at dinner-parties, and even
+at a ball, but is not considered in good _ton_ or style.
+
+"Ladies," according to the authority of a writer of their own sex,
+"should make morning calls in an elegant and simple _neglige_, all the
+details of which we can not give, on account of their multiplicity and
+the numerous modifications of fashion. It is necessary for them, when
+visiting at this time, to arrange their toilet with great care."
+
+
+VI.--APPOINTMENTS.
+
+Be exact in keeping all appointments. It is better never to avail
+yourself of even the quarter of an hour's grace sometimes allowed.
+
+If you make an appointment with another at your own house, you should
+be invisible to the rest of the world, and consecrate your time solely
+to him.
+
+If you accept an appointment at the house of a public officer or a
+man of business, be very punctual, transact the affair with dispatch,
+and retire the moment it is finished.
+
+At a dinner or supper to which you have accepted an invitation, be
+absolutely punctual. It is very annoying to arrive an hour before the
+rest, and still worse to be too late. If you find yourself in the
+latter predicament on an occasion where ceremony is required, send in
+your card, with an apology, and retire.
+
+
+VII.--TABLE MANNERS.
+
+We shall speak in another place of the ceremonious observances
+requisite at formal dinner parties. Our observations here will be of a
+more general character, and of universal application.
+
+Take your seat quietly at the table. Sit firmly in your chair, without
+lolling, leaning back, drumming, or any other uncouth action. Unfold
+your napkin and lay it in your lap, eat soup delicately with a spoon,
+holding a piece of bread in your left hand. Be careful to make no
+noise in chewing or swallowing your food.
+
+Cut your food with your knife; but the fork is to be used to convey it
+to your mouth. A spoon is employed for food that can not be eaten with
+a fork. Take your fork or spoon in the right hand. Never use both
+hands to convey anything to your month. Break your bread, not cut or
+bite it. Your cup was made to drink from, and your saucer to hold the
+cup. It is not well to drink anything hot; but you can wait till your
+tea or coffee cools. Eggs should be eaten from the shell (chipping off
+a little of the _larger_ end), with or without an egg-cup. The egg-cup
+is to hold the shell, and not its contents.
+
+Be attentive to the wants of any lady who may be seated next to you,
+especially where there are no servants, and pass anything that may be
+needful to others.
+
+When you send up your plate for anything, your knife and fork should
+go with it. When you have finished the course, lay your knife and fork
+on your plate, parallel to each other, with the handles toward your
+right hand. Of course, you should never put your knife into the butter
+or the salt, or your spoon into the sugar-bowl. _Eat moderately and
+slowly_, for your health's sake; but rapid, gross, and immoderate
+eating is as vulgar as it is unwholesome. Never say or do anything at
+table that is liable to produce disgust. Wipe your nose, if needful,
+but never blow it. If it is necessary to do this, or to spit, leave
+the table.
+
+It is almost unnecessary to mention that the table-cloth is not the
+place to put your salt. Bread is the only comestible which the custom
+of well-bred people permits to be laid off your plate.
+
+It is well not to seem too much in haste to commence, as if you are
+famishing, but neither is it necessary to wait till everybody is
+served before you commence.
+
+It is perfectly proper to "take the last piece," if you want it,
+always presuming that there is more of the same in reserve.
+
+
+VIII.--CONVERSATION.
+
+As conversation is the principal business in company, we can not well
+pay too much attention to it; but having devoted another work to the
+subject, we shall make this section briefer than would otherwise be
+allowable, and refer our readers for complete instructions in this
+important art to "How to Talk."[E] The maxims which follow are mostly
+compiled from other works now before us.
+
+The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in
+showing a great deal yourself. He who goes from your conversation
+pleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased with
+you. The most delicate pleasure is to please another.[F]
+
+Men of all sorts of occupations meet in society. As they go there to
+unbend their minds and escape from the fetters of business, you should
+never, in an evening, speak to a man about his profession. Do not talk
+of politics to a journalist, of fevers to a physician, of stocks to a
+broker. Talk to a mother about her children. Women are never tired of
+hearing of themselves and their children.[G]
+
+In promiscuous companies you should vary your address agreeably to the
+different ages of the persons to whom you speak. It would be rude and
+absurd to talk of your courtships or your pleasures to men of certain
+dignity and gravity, to clergymen, or men in years. To women you
+should always address yourself with great respect and attention; their
+sex is entitled to it, and it is among the duties of good manners; at
+the same time, that respect is very properly and very agreeably mixed
+with a degree of gayety, if you have it.
+
+In relating anything, avoid repetitions, or very hackneyed
+expressions, such as, _says he_, or _says she_. Some people will use
+these so often as to take off the hearer's attention from the story;
+as, in an organ out of tune, one pipe shall perhaps sound the whole
+time we are playing, and confuse the piece so as not to be understood.
+
+Carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domestic
+concerns. By doing the one, you will be thought vain; by entering into
+the other, you will be considered officious. Talking of yourself is
+an impertinence to the company; your affairs are nothing to them;
+besides, they can not be kept too secret. As to the affairs of others,
+what are they to you?
+
+You should never help out or forestall the slow speaker, as if you
+alone were rich in expressions, and he were poor. You may take it for
+granted that every one is vain enough to think he can talk well,
+though he may modestly deny it. [There is an exception to this rule.
+In speaking with foreigners, who understand our language imperfectly,
+and may be unable to find the right word, it is sometimes polite to
+assist them by suggesting the word they require.]
+
+Giving advice unasked is another piece of rudeness. It is, in effect,
+declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproaching
+them with ignorance and inexperience. It is a freedom that ought not
+to be taken with any common acquaintance.
+
+Those who contradict others upon all occasions, and make every
+assertion a matter of dispute, betray, by this behavior, a want of
+acquaintance with good breeding.
+
+Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of
+bad company and a bad education. A man of fashion avoids nothing with
+more care than that. Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the
+flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man.[H]
+
+Never descend to flattery; but deserved compliments should never be
+withheld. Be attentive to any person who may be speaking to you, and
+be equally ready to speak or to listen, as the case may require. Never
+dispute. As a general rule, do not ride your own _hobbies_ in a mixed
+company, nor allow yourself to be "trotted out" for their amusement.
+
+
+IX.--MUSIC.
+
+When music commences, conversation should cease. It is very rude to
+talk while another person is singing or playing.
+
+A lady should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play; but if she
+intends to do so, she should not affect to refuse when asked, but
+obligingly accede at once. If you can not sing, or do not choose to,
+say so with seriousness and gravity, and put an end to the expectation
+promptly. After singing once or twice, cease and give place to others.
+The complaint is as old as the days of Horace, that a singer can with
+the greatest difficulty be set agoing, and when agoing, can not be
+stopped.
+
+In playing an accompaniment for another, do not forget that it is
+intended to aid, and not to interrupt, and that the instrument is
+subordinate to the singer.
+
+When a lady is playing, it is desirable that some one should turn the
+leaves for her. Some gentleman will be generally at hand to do this,
+but unless he be able to read music, his services may as well be
+dispensed with.
+
+
+X.--LETTERS AND NOTES.
+
+Few accomplishments are more important than letter writing--in fact,
+it is absolutely indispensable to every man or woman who desires to
+fill a respectable position it society. But good letter-writers are
+rare. Too little attention is paid to the subject in our systems of
+education; and the lack of the ability to write a decent letter, or
+even a note of invitation, acceptance, or regret, is often the cause
+of great mortification, to say nothing of the delays, misunderstandings,
+and losses resulting in business affairs from bungling and incorrectly
+written letters.
+
+The impossibility of doing justice to the subject in the very limited
+space that we could devote to it in this work, compels us to refer the
+reader to our little manual of Composition and Letter-Writing,
+entitled "How to Write," in which the whole subject is thoroughly
+explained and illustrated.
+
+
+XI.--MISCELLANEOUS HINTS.
+
+
+1. _Which goes First?_
+
+In ascending or descending stairs with a lady, it is proper to offer
+your arm, provided the stair-case is sufficiently wide to permit two
+to go up or down abreast.
+
+But if it is not, which should go first? Authorities disagree. Usage
+is not settled. It is a general rule of etiquette to give ladies the
+precedence everywhere. Is there a sufficient reason for making this an
+exception? One says that if you follow a lady in going down stairs,
+you are liable to tread on her dress, and that if she precedes you in
+going up, she might display a large foot or a thick ankle which were
+better concealed. He thinks the gentleman should go first. Another
+calls this a maxim of prudery and the legacy of a maiden aunt. Colonel
+Lunettes, our oft-quoted friend of the old _regime_, speaks very
+positively on this point. "Nothing is more absurd," he says, "than the
+habit of preceding ladies in ascending stairs, adopted by some men--as
+if by following just behind them, as one should if the arm be
+disengaged, there can be any impropriety. Soiled frills and unmended
+hose must have originated this vulgarity." Let the ladies decide.
+
+
+2. _An American Habit._
+
+There is a habit peculiar to the United States, and from which even
+some females, who class themselves as ladies, are not entirely
+free--that of lolling back, balanced upon the two hind legs of a
+chair. Such a breach of good breeding is rarely committed in Europe.
+Lolling is carried even so for in America, that it is not uncommon to
+see the attorneys lay their feet upon the council table; and the
+clerks and judges theirs also upon their desks in open court.
+
+
+3. _Gloved or Ungloved?_
+
+In shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand; but
+if two gentlemen are both gloved, it is very foolish to keep each
+other waiting to take them off. You should not, however, offer a
+gloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved. Foreigners are
+sometimes very sensitive in this matter, and might deem the glove an
+insult. It is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove in
+his hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands. At a ball
+or a party the gloves should not be taken off.
+
+
+4. _Equality._
+
+In company, though none are _free_, yet all are _equal_. All,
+therefore, whom you meet should be treated with equal respect,
+although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of
+attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her
+guests.
+
+
+5. _False Shame._
+
+In a letter to his son, Lord Chesterfield makes the following
+confession: "I have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent, for
+meeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought and
+called fine company. I have returned his notice shyly, awkwardly, and
+consequently offensively, for fear of a momentary joker not
+considering, as I ought to have done, that the very people who would
+have joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me the more for it
+afterward."
+
+A good hint for us all.
+
+
+6. _Pulling out one's Watch._
+
+Pulling out your watch in company, unasked, either at home or abroad,
+is a mark of ill-breeding. If at home, it appears as if you were tired
+of your company, and wished them to be gone; if abroad, as if the
+hours dragged heavily, and you wished to be gone yourself. If you want
+to know the time, withdraw; besides, as the taking what is called
+French leave was introduced, that, on one person's leaving the
+company, the rest might not be disturbed, looking at your watch does
+what that piece of politeness was designed to prevent.
+
+
+7. _Husband and Wife._
+
+A gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as Mrs. ----, and a
+lady of her husband as Mr. ----. So one does not say in speaking to
+another, "your wife," or "your husband," but Mrs. or Mr. ----. Among
+intimates, however, to say "my wife," or "my husband," is better,
+because less formal. Let there be a _fitness_ in everything, whatever
+conventional rules you may violate.
+
+
+8. _Bowing vs. Curtseying._
+
+Curtseying is obsolete. Ladies now universally bow instead. The latter
+is certainly a more convenient, if not a more graceful form of
+salutation, particularly on the street.
+
+
+9. _Presents._
+
+Among friends, presents ought to be made of things of small value; or,
+if valuable, their worth should be derived from the style of the
+workmanship, or from some accidental circumstance, rather than from
+the inherent and solid richness. Especially never offer to a lady a
+gift of great cost; it is in the highest degree indelicate, and looks
+as if you were desirous of placing her under an obligation to you, and
+of buying her good-will.
+
+The gifts made by ladies to gentlemen are of the most refined nature
+possible; they should be little articles not purchased, but deriving a
+priceless value as being the offspring of their gentle skill; a little
+picture from their pencil or a trifle from their needle.
+
+A present should be made with as little parade and ceremony as
+possible. If it is a small matter, a gold pencil-case, a thimble to a
+lady, or an affair of that sort, it should not be offered formally,
+but in an indirect way.
+
+Emerson says: "Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for
+gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me.
+Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the
+farmer, his corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the
+painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing."
+
+
+10. _Snobbery._
+
+When you hear a man insisting upon points of etiquette and fashion;
+wondering, for instance, how people can eat with steel forks and
+survive it, or what charms existence has for persons who dine at three
+without soup and fish, be sure that that individual is a snob.
+
+
+11. _Children._
+
+Show, but do not show off, your children to strangers. Recollect, in
+the matter of children, how many are born every hour, each are almost
+as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[B] "Colonel Lunettes."
+
+[C] "Manners Book."
+
+[D] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[E] "How to Talk: A Pocket Manual of Conversation, Public Speaking,
+and Debating." New York. Fowler and Wells. Price 80 cents.
+
+[F] La Bruyere
+
+[G] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[H] Chesterfield.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+THE ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.
+
+    Great plenty, much formality, small cheer,
+    And everybody out of his own sphere.--_Byron._
+
+
+I.--DINNER PARTIES.
+
+A young man or a young woman, unaccustomed to the settled observances
+of such occasions, can hardly pass through a severer ordeal than a
+formal dinner. Its terrors, however, are often greatly magnified. Such
+a knowledge of the principal points of table etiquette as you may
+acquire from this book, complete self-possession, habits of
+observation, and a fair share of practical good sense, will carry one
+safely if not pleasantly through it.
+
+You may entertain the opinion that such dinners, and formal parties in
+general, are tiresome affairs, and that there might be quite as much
+real courtesy and a great deal more enjoyment with less ceremony, and
+we may entirely agree with you; but what _is_, and not what _might
+be_, is the point to be elucidated. We are to take society as we find
+it. You may, as a general rule, decline invitations to dinner parties
+without any breach of good manners, and without giving offense, if you
+think that neither your enjoyment nor your interests will be promoted
+by accepting; or you may not go into what is technically called
+"society" at all, and yet you are liable, at a hotel, on board a
+steamer, or on some extraordinary occasion, to be placed in a position
+in which ignorance of dinner etiquette will be very mortifying and
+the information contained in this section be worth a hundred times the
+cost of the book.
+
+We now proceed to note the common routine of a fashionable dinner, as
+laid down in books and practiced in polite society. On some points
+usage is not uniform, but varies in different countries, and even in
+different cities in the same country, as well as in different circles
+in the same place. For this reason you must not rely wholly upon this
+or any other manners book, but, keeping your eyes open and your wits
+about you, _wait and see what others do_, and follow the prevailing
+mode.
+
+
+1. _Invitations._
+
+Invitations to a dinner are usually issued several days before the
+appointed time--the length of time being proportioned to the grandeur
+of the occasion. On receiving one, you should answer at once,
+addressing the lady of the house. You should either accept or decline
+unconditionally, as they will wish to know whom to expect, and make
+their preparations accordingly.
+
+
+2. _Dress._
+
+You must go to a dinner party in "full dress." Just what this is, is a
+question of time and place. Strictly interpreted, it allows gentlemen
+but little choice. A black dress coat and trowsers, a black or white
+vest and cravat, white gloves, and pumps and silk stockings were
+formerly rigorously insisted upon. But the freedom-loving "spirit of
+the age" has already made its influence felt even in the realms of
+fashion, and a little more latitude is now allowed in most circles.
+The "American Gentleman's Guide" enumerates the essentials of a
+gentleman's dress for occasions of ceremony in general, as follows:
+
+"A stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color and of
+unexceptionable quality, nether garments to correspond, or in warm
+weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a
+fashionable material and make, the finest and purest linen,
+embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest of some dark or
+neutral tint, according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the
+wearer and the _prevailing mode_; an entirely fresh-looking,
+fashionable black hat, and carefully-fitted modish boots, white
+gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief."
+
+A lady's "full dress" is not easily defined, and fashion allows her
+greater scope for the exercise of her taste in the selection of
+materials, the choice of colors, and the style of making. Still, she
+must "be in the fashion."
+
+
+3. _Punctuality._
+
+Never allow yourself to be a minute behind the time. The dinner can
+not be served till all the guests have arrived. If it is spoiled
+through your tardiness, you are responsible not only to your inviter,
+but to his outraged guests. Better be too late for the steamer or the
+railway train than for a dinner!
+
+
+4. _Going to the Table._
+
+When dinner is announced, the host rises and requests all to walk to
+the dining-room, to which he leads the way, having given his arm to
+the lady who, from age or any other consideration, is entitled to
+precedence. Each gentleman offers his arm to a lady, and all follow in
+order. If you are not the principal guest, you must be careful not to
+offer your arm to the handsomest or most distinguished lady.
+
+
+5. _Arrangement of Guests._
+
+Where rank or social position are regarded (and where are they not to
+some extent?), the two most distinguished gentlemen are placed next
+the mistress of the house, and the two most distinguished ladies next
+the master of the house. The right hand is especially the place of
+honor. If it is offered to you, you should not refuse it.
+
+It is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrange
+the guests, and to place them in such a manner that the conversation
+may always be general during the entertainment. If the number of
+gentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies, we should take care
+to intermingle them. We should separate husbands from their wives, and
+remove near relations as far from one another as possible, because
+being always together they ought not to converse among themselves in a
+general party.
+
+
+6. _Duties of the Host._
+
+To perform faultlessly the honors of the table is one of the most
+difficult things in society; it might indeed be asserted, without much
+fear of contradiction, that no man has as yet ever reached exact
+propriety in his office as host. When he receives others, he must be
+content to forget himself; he must relinquish all desire to shine, and
+even all attempts to please his guests by conversation, and rather do
+all in his power to let them please one another.
+
+Help ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy, moderation, and
+fastidiousness of their appetites; and do not overload the plate of
+any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission.
+It spoils the meat for some persons.
+
+Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes; never
+ask persons more than once, and never put anything by force upon their
+plates. It is extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to press
+one to eat of anything.
+
+The host should never recommend or eulogize any particular dish; his
+guests will take it for granted that anything found at his table is
+excellent.
+
+The most important maxim in hospitality is to leave every one to his
+own choice and enjoyment, and to free him _from an ever-present sense
+of being entertained_. You should never send away your own plate until
+all your guests have finished.
+
+
+7. _Duties of the Guests._
+
+Gentlemen must be assiduous but not officious in their attentions to
+the ladies. See that they lack nothing, but do not seem to watch them.
+
+If a "grace" is to be asked, treat the observance with respect. Good
+manners require this, even if veneration fails to suggest it.
+
+Soup will come first. _You must not decline it_; because nothing else
+can be served till the first course is finished, and to sit with
+nothing before you would be awkward. But you may eat as little of it
+as you choose. The host serves his left-hand neighbor first, then his
+right hand, and so on till all are served. Take whatever is given you,
+and do _not_ offer it to your neighbor; and begin at once to eat. You
+must not suck soup into your month, blow it, or send for a second
+plate. The second course is fish, which is to be eaten with a fork,
+and without vegetables. The last part of this injunction does not, of
+course, apply to informal dinners, where fish is the principal dish.
+Fish, like soup, is served but once. When you have eaten what you
+wish, you lay your fork on your plate, and the waiter removes it. The
+third course brings the principal dishes--roast and boiled meats,
+fowl, etc., which are followed by game. There are also side dishes of
+various kinds. At dessert, help the ladies near you to whatever they
+may require. Serve strawberries with a spoon, but pass cherries,
+grapes, or peaches for each to help himself with his fingers. You need
+not volunteer to pare an apple or a peach for a lady, but should do
+so, of course, at her request, using her fork or some other than your
+own to hold it.
+
+We have said in our remarks on table manners in general, in a previous
+chapter, that in sending your plate for anything, you should leave
+your knife and fork upon it. For this injunction we have the authority
+of most of the books on etiquette, as well as of general usage. There
+seems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact, that to hold
+them in your hand would be awkward, and to lay them on the table-cloth
+might soil it; but the author of the "American Gentleman's Guide,"
+whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned, says
+that they should be retained, and either kept together in the hand, or
+rested upon your bread, to avoid soiling the cloth.
+
+Eat deliberately and decorously (there can be no harm in repeating
+this precept), masticate your food thoroughly, and _beware of drinking
+too much ice-water_.
+
+If your host is not a "temperance man," that is, one pledged to total
+abstinence, wine will probably be drunk. You can of course decline,
+but you must do so courteously, and without any reflection upon those
+who drink. You are not invited to deliver a temperance lecture.
+
+Where finger-glasses are used, dip the tips of your fingers in the
+water and wipe them on your napkin; and wet a corner of the napkin and
+wipe your mouth. Snobs sometimes wear gloves at table. It is not
+necessary that you should imitate them.
+
+The French fashion of having the principal dishes carved on a
+side-table, and served by attendants, is now very generally adopted at
+ceremonious dinners in this country, but few gentlemen who go into
+company at all can safely count upon never being called upon to carve,
+and the _art_ is well worth acquiring. Ignorance of it sometimes
+places one in an awkward position. You will find directions on this
+subject in almost any cook-book; you will learn more, however, by
+watching an accomplished carver than in any other way.
+
+Do not allow yourself to be too much engrossed in attending to the
+wants of the stomach, to join in the cheerful interchange of
+civilities and thoughts with those near you.
+
+We must leave a hundred little things connected with a dinner party
+unmentioned; but what we have said here, together with the general
+canons of eating laid down in Chapter VI. (Section 7, "Table
+Manners"), and a little observation, will soon make you a proficient
+in the etiquette of these occasions, in which, if you will take our
+advice, you will not participate very frequently. An _informal_
+dinner, at which you meet two or three friends, and find more cheer
+and less ceremony, is much to be preferred.
+
+
+II.--EVENING PARTIES.
+
+Evening parties are of various kinds, and more or less ceremonious, as
+they are more or less fashionable. Their object is or should be social
+enjoyment, and the manners of the company ought to be such as will
+best promote it. A few hints, therefore, in addition to the general
+maxims of good behavior already laid down, will suffice.
+
+
+1. _Invitations._
+
+Having accepted an invitation to a party, never fail to keep your
+promise, and especially do not allow bad weather, of any ordinary
+character, to prevent your attendance. A married man should never
+accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included.
+
+
+2. _Salutations._
+
+When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the
+lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most
+intimate friends are enveloped in an opake atmosphere until you have
+made your bow to your entertainer.[I] You then mix with the company,
+salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may
+converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without
+the formality of an introduction.
+
+
+3. _Conversation._
+
+When conversation is not general, nor the subject sufficiently
+interesting to occupy the whole company, they break up into different
+groups. Each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on his
+right and left. We should, if we wish to speak to any one, avoid
+leaning upon the person who happens to be between. A gentleman ought
+not to lean upon the arm of a lady's chair, but he may, if standing,
+support himself by the back of it, in order to converse with the lady
+partly turned toward him.[J]
+
+The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing one
+with another at a party.
+
+
+4. _French Leave._
+
+If you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up, take "French
+leave"--that is, go quietly out without disturbing any one, and
+without saluting even the mistress of the house, unless you can do so
+without attracting attention. The contrary course would interrupt the
+rest of the company, and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations
+and ceremony.
+
+
+5. _Sports and Games._
+
+Among young people, and particularly in the country, a variety of
+sports or plays, as they are called, are in vogue. Some of them are
+fitting only for children; but others are more intellectual, and may
+be made sources of improvement as well as of amusement.
+
+Entering into the spirit of these sports, we throw off some of the
+restraints of a more formal intercourse; but they furnish no excuse
+for rudeness. You must not forget your politeness in your hilarity, or
+allow yourself to "take liberties," or lose your sense of delicacy and
+propriety.
+
+The selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies, though any
+person may modestly propose any amusement, and ask the opinion of
+others in reference to it. The person who gives the party will
+exercise her prerogative to vary the play, that the interest may be
+kept up.
+
+If this were the proper place, we should enter an earnest protest
+against the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of the
+performances in some of these games, but it is not our office to
+proscribe or introduce observances, but to regulate them. No true
+gentleman will _abuse_ the freedom which the laws of the game allows;
+but if required, will delicately kiss the hand, the forehead, or, at
+most, the cheek of the lady. A lady will offer her lips to be kissed
+only to a lover or a husband, and not to him in company. The French
+code is a good one: "Give your hand to a gentleman to kiss, your cheek
+to a friend, but keep your lips for your lover."
+
+Never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any of
+the company, and "pay" those which may be adjudged to you with
+cheerful promptness.
+
+
+6. _Dancing._
+
+An evening party is often only another name for a ball. We may have as
+many and as weighty objections to dancing, as conducted at these
+fashionable parties, as to the formal dinners and rich and late
+suppers which are in vogue in the same circles, but this is not the
+place to discuss the merits of the quadrille or the waltz, but to lay
+down the etiquette of the occasions on which they are practiced. We
+condense from the various authorities before us the following code:
+
+1. According to the hours now in fashion in our large cities, ten
+o'clock is quite early enough to present yourself at a dance. You will
+even then find many coming after you. In the country, you should go
+earlier.
+
+2. Draw on your gloves (white or yellow) in the dressing-room, and do
+not be for one moment with them off in the dancing-rooms. At supper
+take them off; nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves.
+
+3. When you are sure of a place in the dance, you go up to a lady and
+ask her if she will _do you the honor_ to dance with you. If she
+answers that she is engaged, merely request her to name the earliest
+dance for which she is not engaged, and when she will do you the honor
+of dancing with you.
+
+4. If a gentleman offers to dance with a lady, she should not refuse,
+unless for some _particular_ and _valid_ reason, in which case she
+can accept the next offer. But if she has no further objection than a
+temporary dislike or a piece of coquetry, it is a direct insult to him
+to refuse him and accept the next offer; besides, it shows too marked
+a preference for the latter.
+
+5. When a woman is standing in a quadrille, though not engaged in
+dancing, a man not acquainted with her partner should not converse
+with her.
+
+6. When an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake, we may apprize him of
+his error; but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving him
+a lesson.
+
+7. Unless a man has a very graceful figure, and can use it with great
+elegance, it is better for him to _walk_ through the quadrilles, or
+invent some gliding movement for the occasion.
+
+8. At the end of the dance, the gentleman re-conducts the lady to her
+place, bows, and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred. She
+also bows in silence.
+
+9. The master of the house should see that all the ladies dance. He
+should take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as
+_drapery_ to the walls of the ball-room (or _wall flowers_, as the
+familiar expression is), and should see that they are invited to
+dance.
+
+10. Ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast before
+those who dance but little or not at all, of the great number of
+dances for which they are engaged in advance. They should also,
+without being perceived, recommend these less fortunate ladies to
+gentlemen of their acquaintance.
+
+11. For any of the members, either sons or daughters, of the family at
+whose house the ball is given, to dance frequently or constantly,
+denotes decided ill-breeding; the ladies should not occupy those
+places in a quadrille which others may wish to fill, and they should,
+moreover, be at leisure to attend to the rest of the company; and the
+gentlemen should be entertaining the married women and those who do
+not dance.
+
+12. Never hazard taking part in a quadrille, unless you know how to
+dance tolerably; for if you are a novice, or but little skilled, you
+would bring disorder into the midst of pleasure.
+
+13. If you accompany your wife to a dance, be careful not to dance
+with her, except perhaps the first set.
+
+14. When that long and anxiously desiderated hour, the hour of supper,
+has arrived, you hand the lady you attend up or down to the
+supper-table. You remain with her while she is at the table, seeing
+that she has all that she desires, and then conduct her back to the
+dancing-rooms.
+
+15. A gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first set
+with her, and may afterward introduce her to a friend for the purpose
+of dancing.
+
+16. Ball-room introductions cease with the object--viz.: dancing; nor
+subsequently anywhere else can a gentleman approach the lady by
+salutation or in any other mode without a re-introduction of a formal
+character.
+
+This code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionable
+dancing parties in the city, though most of the rules should be
+adhered to in any place. The good sense of the reader will enable him
+to modify them to suit any particular occasion.
+
+
+III.--ANNUAL FESTIVALS.
+
+
+1. _Christmas._
+
+At Christmas people give parties and make presents. In Europe, and in
+some portions of our own country, it is the most important festive
+occasion in the year. Beyond the religious observances of the
+Catholics, Episcopalians, and some other sects, and the universal
+custom of making presents to all our relatives and intimate friends,
+and especially to the children, there is no matter of etiquette
+peculiar to Christmas which it is necessary for us to note. We have
+already spoken of presents; and religious ceremonies will find a place
+in another chapter.
+
+
+2. _The New Year._
+
+In New York, and some other cities and towns which have adopted its
+customs, every gentleman is expected to call on all his lady
+acquaintances on New Year's day; and each lady on her part must be
+prepared properly to do the honors of her house. Refreshments are
+usually provided in great profusion. The etiquette of these occasions
+does not differ materially from that of ceremonious morning calls,
+except that the entire day is devoted to them, and they may be
+extended beyond the limits of one's ordinary visiting list. The ladies
+may make their calls on the next day, or any time within the week.
+
+
+3. _Thanksgiving._
+
+This is the great family festival of New England--the season of home
+gatherings. Sons and daughters, scattered far and wide, then turn
+instinctively toward the old homestead, and the fireside of their
+childhood is again made glad by their presence and that of their
+little ones. Etiquette requires fat turkeys, well roasted, a plenty of
+_pumpkin pies_, unbounded hospitality, genuine friendliness, and
+cheerful and thankful hearts.
+
+
+4. _Birthdays._
+
+Birthdays are sometimes made family festivals at which parties are
+given, and presents made to the one whose anniversary is celebrated.
+In France, these occasions are observed with great merry making and
+many felicitations and gifts.
+
+
+IV.--EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS.
+
+Picnic excursions into the country are not occasions of ceremony, but
+call for the exercise of all one's real good nature and good breeding.
+On leaving the carriage, cars, or steamboat, gentlemen should of
+course relieve the ladies they attend of the shawls, baskets, etc.,
+with which they may have provided themselves, and give them all
+necessary assistance in reaching the spot selected for the
+festivities. It is also their duty and their happiness to accompany
+them in their rambles, when it is the pleasure of the fair ones to
+require their attendance, but _not_ to be _obtrusive_. They may
+sometimes wish to be alone.
+
+If a lady chooses to seat herself upon the ground, you are not at
+liberty to follow her example unless she invites you to be seated. She
+must not have occasion to think of the possibility of any impropriety
+on your part. You are her servant, protector, and guard of honor. You
+will of course give her your hand to assist her in rising. When the
+sylvan repast is served, you will see that the ladies whose cavalier
+you have the honor to be, lack nothing. The ladies, social queens
+though they be, should not forget that every favor or act of courtesy
+and deference, by whoever shown, demands some acknowledgment on their
+part--a word, a bow, a smile, or at least a kind look.
+
+
+V.--WEDDINGS.
+
+We copy from one of the numerous manners books before us the following
+condensed account of the usual ceremonies of a formal wedding. A
+simpler, less ceremonious, and more private mode of giving legal
+sanction to an already existing union of hearts would be more to _our_
+taste; but, as the French proverb has it, _Chacun a son gout_.[K]
+
+For a stylish wedding, the lady requires a bridegroom, two
+bridesmaids, two groomsmen, and a parson or magistrate, her relatives
+and whatever friends of both parties they may choose to invite. For a
+formal wedding in the evening, a week's notice is requisite. The lady
+fixes the day. Her mother or nearest female relation invites the
+guests. The evening hour is 8 o'clock; but if the ceremony is private,
+and the happy couple to start immediately and alone, the ceremony
+usually takes place in the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock.
+
+If there is an evening party, the refreshments must be as usual on
+such occasions, with the addition of wedding cake, commonly a pound
+cake with rich frosting, and a fruit cake.
+
+The dress of the bride is of the purest white; her head is commonly
+dressed with orange flowers, natural or artificial, and white roses.
+She wears few ornaments, and none but such as are given her for the
+occasion. A white lace vail is often worn on the head. White long
+gloves and white satin slippers complete the costume.
+
+The dress of the bridegroom is simply the full dress of a gentleman,
+of unusual richness and elegance.
+
+The bridesmaids are dressed also in white, but more simply than the
+bride.
+
+At the hour appointed for the ceremony, the second bridesmaid and
+groomsman, when there are two, enter the room; then, first bridesmaid
+and groomsman; and lastly the bride and bridegroom. They enter, the
+ladies taking the arms of the gentlemen, and take seats appointed, so
+that the bride is at the right of the bridegroom, and each supported
+by their respective attendants.
+
+A chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate in front of the
+happy pair. When he comes forward to perform the ceremony, the bridal
+party rises. The first bridesmaid, at the proper time, removes the
+glove from the left hand of the bride; or, what seems to us more
+proper, both bride and bridegroom have their gloves removed at the
+beginning of the ceremony. In joining hands they take each other's
+right hand, the bride and groom partially turning toward each other.
+The wedding ring, of plain fine gold, provided beforehand by the
+groom, is sometimes given to the clergyman, who presents it. It is
+placed upon the third finger of the left hand.
+
+When the ceremony is ended, and the twain are pronounced one flesh,
+the company present their congratulations--the clergyman first, then
+the mother, the father of the bride, and the relations; then the
+company, the groomsmen acting as masters of ceremonies, bringing
+forward and introducing the ladies, who wish the happy couple joy,
+happiness, prosperity; but not exactly "many happy returns."
+
+The bridegroom takes an early occasion to thank the clergyman, and to
+put in his hand, at the same time, nicely enveloped, a piece of gold,
+according to his ability and generosity. The gentleman who dropped two
+half dollars into the minister's hands, as they were held out, in the
+prayer, was a little confused by the occasion.
+
+When a dance follows the ceremony and congratulations, the bride
+dances, first, with the first groomsman, taking the head of the room
+and the quadrille, and the bridegroom with the first bridesmaid;
+afterwards as they please. The party breaks up early--certainly by
+twelve o'clock.[L]
+
+The cards of the newly married couple are sent to those only whose
+acquaintance they wish to continue. No offense should be taken by
+those whom they may choose to exclude. Send your card, therefore, with
+the lady's, to all whom you desire to include in the circle of your
+future acquaintances. The lady's card will have engraved upon it,
+below her name, "At home, ---- evening, at--o'clock." They should be
+sent a week previous to the evening indicated.
+
+
+VI.--FUNERALS.
+
+When any member of a family is dead, it is customary to send
+intelligence of the misfortune to all who have been connected with the
+deceased in relations of business or friendship. The letters which are
+sent contain a special invitation to assist at the funeral. Such a
+letter requires no answer.
+
+At an interment or funeral service, the members of the family are
+entitled to the first places. They are nearest to the coffin, whether
+in the procession or in the church. The nearest relations go in a full
+mourning dress.
+
+We are excused from accompanying the body to the burying-ground,
+unless the deceased be a relation or an intimate friend. If we go as
+far as the burying-ground, we should give the first carriage to the
+relations or most intimate friends of the deceased. We should walk
+with the head uncovered, silently, and with such a mien as the
+occasion naturally suggests.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[I] "Etiquette for Gentlemen."
+
+[J] Madame Celnart
+
+[K] Each one to his taste.
+
+[L] "Manners Book."
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+THE ETIQUETTE OF PLACES.
+
+    To ladies always yield your seat,
+    And lift your hat upon the street.--_Uncle Dan._
+
+
+I.--ON THE STREET.
+
+Nowhere has a man or a woman occasion more frequently to exercise the
+virtue of courtesy than on the street; and in no place is the
+distinction between the polite and the vulgar more marked. The
+following are some of the rules of street etiquette:
+
+Except in a case of necessity, you should not stop a business man on
+the street during business hours. He may have appointments, and, in
+any event, his time is precious. If you must speak with him, walk on
+in his direction, or if you detain him, state your errand briefly, and
+politely apologize for the detention.
+
+Do not allow yourself to be so absent-minded or absorbed in your
+business as not to recognize and salute your acquaintances on the
+street. You must not make the pressure of your affairs an excuse for
+rudeness. If you do not intend to stop, on meeting a friend, touch
+your hat, say "Good-morning," or "I hope you are well," and pass on.
+If you stop, you may offer a gloved hand, if necessary, without
+apology. Waiting to draw off a tight glove is awkward. In stopping to
+talk on the street, you should step aside from the human current. If
+you are compelled to detain a friend, when he is walking with a
+stranger, apologize to the stranger and release your friend as soon as
+possible. The stranger will withdraw, in order not to hear your
+conversation. Never leave a friend suddenly on the street, either to
+join another or for any other reason, without a brief apology.
+
+In walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in age or station,
+give them the place of honor, by taking yourself the outer side of the
+pavement.
+
+When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted, you should lift
+your hat, as you bow to her; but unless you are intimate friends, it
+is the lady's duty to give some sign of recognition first, as she
+might _possibly_ choose to "cut" you, and thus place you in a very
+awkward position; but unless you have forfeited all claims to respect,
+she certainly _should_ not do such a thing.
+
+In meeting a gentleman whom you know, walking with a lady with whom
+you are not acquainted, you are to bow with grave respect to her
+also.[M] If you are acquainted with both, you bow first to the lady,
+and then, less profoundly, to the gentleman.
+
+If your glove be dark colored, or your hand ungloved, do not offer to
+shake hands with a lady in full dress. If you wish to speak with a
+lady whom you meet on the street, turn and walk with her; but you
+should not accompany her far, except at her request, and should always
+lift your hat and bow upon withdrawing.
+
+Be careful to avoid intrusion everywhere; and for this reason be very
+sure that such an addition to their party would be perfectly agreeable
+before you join a lady and gentleman who may be walking together;
+otherwise you might find yourself in the position of an "awkward
+third."
+
+In walking with ladies on the street, gentlemen will of course treat
+them with the most scrupulous _politeness_. This requires that you
+place yourself in that relative position in which you can best shield
+them from danger or inconvenience. You generally give them the wall
+side, but circumstances may require you to reverse this position.
+
+You must offer your arm to a lady with whom you are walking whenever
+her safety, comfort, or convenience may seem to require such attention
+on your part. At night, in taking a long walk in the country, or in
+ascending the steps of a public building, your arm should always be
+tendered.
+
+In walking with ladies or elderly people, a gentleman must not forget
+to accommodate his speed to theirs. In walking with _any_ person you
+should _keep step_ with military precision.
+
+If a lady with whom you are walking receives the salute of a person
+who is a stranger to you, you should return it, not for yourself, but
+for her.
+
+When a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a shop, or _store_ (if
+we must use an Americanism to explain a good English word), you should
+hold the door open and allow her to enter first, if practicable; for
+you must never pass before a lady anywhere, if you can avoid it, or
+without an apology.
+
+If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he will
+lift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If he
+can not give the information required, he will express his regrets.
+
+"When tripping over the pavement," Madame Celnart says, "a lady should
+gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle. With her right
+hand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw them
+toward the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both
+hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can be tolerated only for a
+moment, when the mud is very deep." This was written in Paris, and not
+in New York.
+
+American ladies dress too richly and elaborately for the street. You
+should dress well--neatly and in good taste, and in material adapted
+to the season; but the full costume, suitable to the carriage or the
+drawing-room, is entirely out of place in a shopping excursion, and
+does not indicate a refined taste; in other words, it looks
+_snobbish_.
+
+The out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or a
+mantle. Shawls are difficult to wear gracefully, and few American
+ladies wear them well. You should not drag a shawl tight to your
+shoulders, and stick out your elbows, but fold it loosely and
+gracefully, so that it may fully envelop the figure.
+
+
+II.--SHOPPING.
+
+Madame Celnart has the following hints to the ladies on this important
+subject. Having enjoined the most patient and forbearing courtesy on
+the part of the shopkeeper,[N] she proceeds:
+
+"Every civility ought to be reciprocal, or nearly so. If the officious
+politeness of the shopkeeper does not require an equal return, he has
+at least a claim to civil treatment; and, finally, if this politeness
+proceed from interest, is this a reason why purchasers should add to
+the unpleasantness of his profession, and disregard violating the
+laws of politeness? Many very respectable people allow themselves so
+many infractions in this particular, that I think it my duty to dwell
+upon it.
+
+"You should never say, _I want such a thing_, but _Show me, if you
+please, that article_, or use some other polite form of address. If
+they do not show you at first the articles you desire, and you are
+obliged to examine a great number, apologize to the shopkeeper for the
+trouble you give him. If after all you can not suit yourself, renew
+your apologies when you go away.
+
+"If you make small purchases, say, _I am sorry for having troubled you
+for so trifling a thing_. If you spend a considerable time in the
+selection of articles, apologize to the shopkeeper who waits for you
+to decide.
+
+"If the price seems to you too high, and the shop has not fixed
+prices, ask an abatement in brief and civil terms, and without ever
+appearing to suspect the good faith of the shopkeeper. If he does not
+yield, do not enter into a contest with him, but go away, after
+telling him politely that you think you can obtain the article cheaper
+elsewhere, but if not, that you will give him the preference."
+
+
+III.--AT CHURCH.
+
+If you go to church, be in season, that you may not interrupt the
+congregation by entering after the services have commenced. The
+celebrated Mrs. Chapone said that it was a part of her religion not to
+disturb the religion of others. We may all adopt with profit that
+article of her creed. Always remove your hat on entering a church. If
+you attend ladies, you open the door of the slip for them, allowing
+them to enter first. Your demeanor should of course be such as becomes
+the place and occasion. If you are so unfortunate as to have no
+religious feelings yourself, you must respect those of others.
+
+It is the custom in some places for gentlemen who may be already in a
+slip or pew to deploy into the aisle, on the arrival of a lady who may
+desire admittance, allow her to enter, and then resume their seats.
+This is a very awkward and annoying maneuver.
+
+You should pay due respect to the observances of the church you
+attend. If you have conscientious scruples against kneeling in an
+Episcopal or Catholic church, you should be a little more
+conscientious, and stay away.
+
+Good manners do not require young gentlemen to stand about the door of
+a church to see the ladies come out; and the ladies will excuse the
+omission of this mark of admiration.
+
+
+IV.--AT PLACES OF AMUSEMENT.
+
+Gentlemen who attend ladies to the opera, to concerts, to lectures,
+etc., should endeavor to go early in order to secure good seats,
+unless, indeed, they have been previously secured, and to avoid the
+disagreeable crowd which they are liable to encounter if they go a
+little later.
+
+Gentlemen _should_ take off their hats on entering _any_ public room
+(or dwelling either). They will, of course, do so if attending ladies,
+on showing them their seats. Having taken your seats, remain quietly
+in them, and avoid, unless absolute necessity require it, incommoding
+others by crowding out and in before them. If obliged to do this,
+politely apologize for the trouble you cause them.
+
+To talk during the performance is an act of rudeness and injustice.
+You thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights of
+others, who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers, and
+not for listening to you.
+
+If you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera, concert, or
+lecture, you should retain your seat at her side; but if you have no
+lady with you, and have taken a desirable seat, you should, if need
+be, cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady, for one less
+eligible.
+
+Be careful to secure your _libretto_ or opera book, concert bill or
+programme, before taking your seat.
+
+To the opera, ladies should wear opera hoods, which are to be taken
+off on entering. In this country, custom _permits_ the wearing of
+bonnets; but as they are (in our opinion) neither comfortable nor
+beautiful, we advise the ladies to dispense with their use whenever
+they can.
+
+Gloves should be worn by ladies in church, and in places of public
+amusement. Do not take them off to shake hands. Great care should be
+taken that they are well made and fit neatly.
+
+
+V.--IN A PICTURE GALLERY.
+
+A gallery of paintings or sculpture is a temple of Art, and he is
+little better than a barbarian who can enter it without a feeling of
+reverence for the presiding divinity of the place. Loud talking,
+laughing, pushing before others who are examining a picture or statue,
+moving seats noisily, or any rude or discourteous conduct, seems like
+profanation in such a place. Avoid them by all means, we entreat you;
+and though you wear your hat everywhere else, reverently remove it
+here.
+
+
+VI.--THE PRESENCE.
+
+"The mode in which respect to the presence of a human being should be
+shown maybe left to custom. In the East, men take off their shoes
+before entering an apartment. We take off the hat, and add a verbal
+salutation. The mode is unimportant; it may vary with the humor of the
+moment; it may change with the changing fashion; but no one who
+respects himself, and has a proper regard for others, will omit to
+give _some_ sign that he recognizes an essential difference between a
+horse and a man, between a stable and a house."[O]
+
+
+VII.---TRAVELING.
+
+Under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded, or rudeness
+more frequently displayed, than in traveling. The infelicities and
+vexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all the
+latent selfishness of one's nature; and the commonest observances of
+politeness are, we are sorry to say, sometimes neglected. In the
+scramble for tickets, for seats, for state-rooms, or for places at a
+public table, good manners are too frequently elbowed aside and
+trampled under foot. Even our national deference for women is
+occasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway cars
+or the steamer.
+
+To avoid the scramble we have alluded to, purchase tickets and secure
+state-rooms in advance, if practicable, especially if you are
+accompanied by ladies, and, in any event, _be in good time_.
+
+In the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personal
+comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment the
+rights of your fellow-travelers, or forget the respectful courtesy
+due to woman. The pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to the
+ladies, and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them with
+a cheerful politeness. In a stage-coach you give them the back seat,
+unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself, if their
+convenience requires it. But a word to--_Americans_ will be enough on
+this point.
+
+And what do good manners require of the ladies? That which is but a
+little thing to the bestower, but of priceless value to the
+receiver--_thanks_--a smile--a grateful look at least. Is this too
+much?
+
+Mr. Arbiter, whom we find quoted in a newspaper, has some rather
+severe strictures on the conduct of American ladies. He says:
+
+"We boast of our politeness as a nation, and point out to foreigners,
+with pride, the alacrity with which Americans make way for women in
+all public places. Some love to call this chivalry. It is certainly an
+amiable trait of character, though frequently carried to an absurd
+extent. But what the men possess in this form of politeness the women
+appear to have lost. They never think of acknowledging, in any way,
+the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat, but settle
+themselves triumphantly in their new places, as if they were entitled
+to them by divine right."
+
+We are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance of
+truth in this charge. We have had constant opportunities to observe
+the behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowded
+ferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and their
+suburbs. We have, of course (as what gentleman has not?), relinquished
+our seats hundreds of times to ladies. _For the occasional bow or
+smile of acknowledgment, or_ _pleasant "Thank you," which we have
+received in return, we have almost invariably been indebted to some
+fair foreigner._
+
+We believe that American ladies are as polite _at heart_ as those of
+any other nation, but _they do not say it_.
+
+The fair readers of our little book will, we are sure, excuse us for
+these hints, since they are dictated by the truest and most reverent
+love for their sex, and a sincere desire to serve them.
+
+If in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid, or an
+aged person, or a woman with children and without a male protector,
+feelings of humanity, as well as sentiments of politeness, will
+dictate such kind attentions as, without being obtrusive, you can find
+occasion to bestow.
+
+You have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation, if the
+current of air thus produced annoy or endanger the health of another.
+There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best,
+and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them as much as
+possible, and to cheerfully bear his own part. Life is a journey, and
+we are all fellow-travelers.
+
+If in riding in an omnibus, or crossing a ferry with a friend, he
+wishes to pay for you, never insist on paying for yourself or for
+both. If he is before you, let the matter pass without remark, and
+return the compliment on another occasion.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[M] "Colonel Lunettes"
+
+[N] For hints on the importance of politeness as an element of success
+in business, see "How to Do Business."
+
+[O] James Parton.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+LOVE AND COURTSHIP.
+
+    Learn to win a lady's faith
+      Nobly, as the thing is high;
+    Bravely, as for life and death,
+      With a loyal gravity.
+    Lead her from the festive boards;
+      Point her to the starry skies;
+    Guard her by your truthful words
+      Pure from courtship's flatteries.--_Mrs. Browning._
+
+
+I.--A HINT OR TWO.
+
+To treat the subject of love and courtship in all its bearings would
+require a volume. It is with the etiquette of the tender passion that
+we have to do here. A few preliminary hints, however, will not be
+deemed out of place.
+
+Boys often fall in love (and girls too, we believe) at a very tender
+age. Some charming cousin, or a classmate of his sister, in the
+village school, weaves silken meshes around the throbbing heart of the
+young man in his teens. This is well. He is made better and happier by
+his boyish loves--for he generally has a succession of them, but they
+are seldom permanent. They are only beautiful foreshadowings of the
+deeper and more earnest love of manhood, which is to bind him to his
+_other self_ with ties which only death can sever. Read Ik Marvel's
+"Dream Life."
+
+Before a young man has reached the proper age to marry--say
+twenty-five, as an average--he ought to have acquired such a knowledge
+of himself, physically and mentally considered, and of the principles
+which ought to decide the choice of matrimonial partners and govern
+the relations of the sexes, as will enable him to set up a proper
+standard of female excellence, and to determine what qualities,
+physical and mental, should characterize the woman who is to be the
+angel of his home and the mother of his children. With this knowledge
+he is prepared to go into society and choose his mate, following
+trustingly the attractions of his soul. Love is an affair of the
+heart, but the head should be its privy counselor.
+
+Do not make up your mind to wait till you have acquired a fortune
+before you marry. You should not, however, assume the responsibilities
+of a family without a reasonable prospect of being able to maintain
+one. If you are established in business, or have an adequate income
+for the immediate requirements of the new relation, you may safely
+trust your own energy and self-reliance for the rest.
+
+Women reach maturity earlier than men, and may marry earlier--say (as
+an average age), at twenty. The injunction, "Know thyself," applies
+with as much emphasis to a woman as to a man. Her perceptions are
+keener than ours, and her sensibilities finer, and she may trust more
+to _instinct_, but she should add to these natural qualifications a
+thorough knowledge of her own physical and mental constitution, and of
+whatever relates to the requirements of her destiny as wife and
+mother. The importance of sound _health_ and _a perfect development_,
+can not be overrated. _Without these you are_ NEVER _fit to marry_.[P]
+
+Having satisfied yourself that you really love a woman--be careful, as
+you value your future happiness and hers, not to make a _mistake_ in
+this matter--you will find occasion to manifest, in a thousand ways,
+your preference, by means of those tender but delicate and
+deferential attentions which love always prompts. "Let the heart
+speak." The heart you address will understand its language. Be
+earnest, sincere, self-loyal, and manly in this matter above all
+others. Let there be no nauseous flattery and no sickly sentimentality
+Leave the former to fops and the latter to beardless school-boys.
+
+Though women do not "propose"--that is, as a general rule--they "make
+love" to the men none the less; and it is right. The divine attraction
+is mutual, and should have its proper expression on both sides. If you
+are attracted toward a man who seems to you an embodiment of all that
+is noble and manly, you do injustice both to him and yourself if you
+do not, in some way entirely consistent with maiden modesty, allow him
+to _see_ and _feel_ that he pleases you. But _you_ do not need our
+instructions, and we will only hint, in conclusion, that forwardness,
+flirting, and a too _obtrusive_ manifestation of preference are _not_
+agreeable to men of sense. As a man should be _manly_, so should a
+woman be _womanly_ in her love.
+
+
+II.--OBSERVANCES.
+
+
+1. _Particular Attentions._
+
+Avoid even the slightest appearance of _trifling_ with the feelings of
+a woman. A female coquette is bad enough. A male coquette ought to be
+banished from society. Let there be a clearly perceived, if not an
+easily defined, distinction between the attentions of common courtesy
+or of friendship and those of love. All misunderstanding on this point
+can and must be avoided.
+
+The particular attentions you pay to the object of your devotion
+should not make you rude or uncivil to other women. Every woman is
+_her_ sister, and should be treated with becoming respect and
+attention. Your special attentions to her in society should not be
+such as to make her or you the subject of ridicule. Make no public
+exhibition of your endearments.
+
+
+2. _Presents._
+
+If you make presents, let them be selected with good taste, and of
+such cost as is fully warranted by your means. Your mistress will not
+love you better for any extravagance in this matter. The value of a
+gift is not to be estimated in dollars and cents. A lady of good sense
+and delicacy will discourage in her lover all needless expenditure in
+ministering to her gratification, or in proof of his devotion.
+
+
+3. _Confidants._
+
+Lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their affairs of
+the heart. In general, they should be of the opposite sex. A young man
+may with profit open his heart to his mother, an elder sister, or a
+female friend considerably older than himself. The young lady may with
+equal advantage make a brother, an uncle, or some good middle-aged
+married man the repository of her love secrets, her hopes, and her
+fears.
+
+
+4. _Declarations._
+
+We shall make no attempt to prescribe a form for "popping the
+question." Each must do it in his own way; but let it be clearly
+understood and admit no evasion. A single word--yes, less than that,
+on the lady's part, will suffice to answer it. If the carefully
+studied phrases which you have repeated so many times and so fluently
+to yourself, will persist in sticking in your throat and choking you,
+put them correctly and neatly on a sheet of the finest white note
+paper, inclosed in a fine but plain white envelope (see "How to
+Write"), seal it handsomely with _wax_, address and direct it
+carefully, and find some way to convey it to her hand. The lady's
+answer should be frank and unequivocal, revealing briefly and modestly
+her real feelings and consequent decision.
+
+
+5. _Asking "Pa."_
+
+Asking the consent of parents or guardians is, in this country, where
+women claim a right to choose for themselves, a mere form, and may
+often be dispensed with. The lady's wishes, however, should be
+complied with in this as in all other matters. And if consent is
+refused? This will rarely happen. If it does, there is a remedy, and
+we should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the woman
+who would hesitate to apply it. If she is of age, she has a legal as
+well as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom she
+pleases. If she does not love you well enough to do this, _at any
+sacrifice_, you should consider the refusal of her friends a very
+fortunate occurrence. If she is not of age, the legal aspect of the
+affair may be different, but, at worst, she can wait until her
+majority puts her in possession of all her rights.
+
+
+6. _Refusals._
+
+If a lady finds it necessary to say "no" to a proposal, she should do
+it in the kindest and most considerate manner, so as not to inflict
+unnecessary pain; but her answer should be definite and decisive, and
+the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit. If ladies will my "no"
+when they mean "yes," to a sincere and earnest suitor, they must
+suffer the consequences.
+
+
+7. _Engagement._
+
+The "engaged" need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of
+the relation in which they stand to each other, neither should they
+attempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each other
+should be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct in
+reference to other persons of the opposite sex, such as will not give
+occasion for a single pang of jealousy.
+
+Of the "getting ready," which follows the engagement, on the part of
+the lady, our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tell
+them.
+
+
+8. _Breaking Off._
+
+Engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directions
+contained in the first section of this chapter, will seldom be broken
+off. If such a painful _necessity_ occurs, let it be met with
+firmness, but with delicacy. If you have made a _mistake_, it is
+infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A
+_marriage_ is not so easily "broken off."
+
+On breaking off an engagement, all letters, presents, etc., should be
+returned, and both parties should consider themselves pledged to the
+most honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter,
+and to the private affairs of each other, a knowledge of which their
+former relation may have put into their possession.
+
+
+9. _Marriage._
+
+It devolves upon the lady to fix the day. She will hardly disregard
+the stereotyped request of the impatient lover to make it an "early"
+one; but she knows best how soon the never-to-be-neglected
+"preparations" can be made. For the wedding ceremonies see Chapter
+VII. A few hints to husbands and wives may be found in Chapter V.
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[P] See "Physical Perfection; or How to Acquire and Retain Beauty,
+Grace, and Strength," now (1857) in the course of preparation.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+PARLIAMENTARY ETIQUETTE.
+
+     The object of a meeting for deliberation is, of course, to
+     obtain a free expression of opinion and a fair decision of the
+     questions discussed. Without rules of order this object would,
+     in most cases, be utterly defeated; for there would be no
+     uniformity in the modes of proceeding, no restraint upon
+     indecorous or disorderly conduct, no protection to the rights
+     and privileges of members, no guarantee against the caprices
+     and usurpations of the presiding officer, no safeguard against
+     tyrannical majorities, nor any suitable regard to the rights of
+     the minority.--_McElligott._
+
+
+I.--COURTESY IN DEBATE.
+
+The fundamental principles of courtesy, so strenuously insisted upon
+throughout this work, must be rigorously observed in the debating
+society, lyceum, legislative assembly, and wherever questions are
+publicly debated. In fact, we have not yet discovered _any_ occasion
+on which a gentleman is justified in being anything less than--a
+gentleman.
+
+In a paragraph appended to the constitution and by-laws of a New York
+debating club, members are enjoined to treat each other with delicacy
+and respect, conduct all discussions with candor, moderation, and open
+generosity, avoid all personal allusions and sarcastic language
+calculated to wound the feelings of a brother, and cherish concord and
+good fellowship. The spirit of this injunction should pervade the
+heart of every man who attempts to take part in the proceedings of any
+deliberative assembly.
+
+
+II.--ORIGIN OF THE PARLIAMENTARY CODE.
+
+The rules of order of our State Legislatures, and of other less
+important deliberative bodies, are, in almost all fundamental points,
+the same as those of the National Congress, which, again, are
+derived, in the main, from those of the British Parliament, the
+differences which exist growing out of differences in government and
+institutions. It is in allusion to its origin that the code of rules
+and regulations thus generally adopted is often called "The Common
+Code of Parliamentary Law."
+
+
+III.--RULES OF ORDER.
+
+
+1. _Motions._
+
+A deliberative body being duly organized, motions are in order. The
+party moving a resolution, or making a motion in its simplest form,
+introduces it either with or without remarks, by saying: "Mr.
+President, I beg leave to offer the following resolution," or "I move
+that," etc. A motion is not debatable till seconded. The member
+seconding simply says: "I second that motion." The resolution or
+motion is then stated by the chairman, and is open for debate.
+
+
+2. _Speaking._
+
+A member wishing to speak on a question, resolution, or motion, must
+rise in his place and respectfully address his remarks to the chairman
+or president, _confining himself to the question, and avoiding
+personality_. Should more than one member rise at the same time, the
+chairman must decide which is entitled to the floor. No member must
+speak more than once till every member wishing to speak shall have
+spoken. In debating societies (and it is for their benefit that we
+make this abstract) it is necessary to define not only how many times,
+but how long at each time a member may speak on a question.
+
+
+3. _Submitting a Question._
+
+When the debate or deliberation upon a subject appears to be at a
+close, the presiding officer simply asks, "Is the society [assembly,
+or whatever the body may be] ready for the question?" or, "Are you
+ready for the question?" If no one signifies a desire further to
+discuss or consider the subject, he then submits the question in due
+form.
+
+
+4. _Voting._
+
+The voting is generally by "ayes and noes," and the answers on both
+sides being duly given, the presiding officer announces the result,
+saying, "The ayes have it," or, "The noes have it," according as he
+finds one side or the other in the majority. If there is a doubt in
+his mind which side has the larger number, he says, "The ayes _appear_
+to have it," or, "The noes _appear_ to have it," as the case may be.
+If there is no dissent, he adds, "The ayes _have_ it," or, "The noes
+_have_ it." But should the president be unable to decide, or if his
+decision be questioned, and a division of the house be called for, it
+is his duty immediately to divide or arrange the assembly as to allow
+the votes on each side to be accurately counted; and if the members
+are equally divided, the president must give the casting vote. It is
+the duty of every member to vote; but in some deliberative bodies a
+member may be excused at his own request. Sometimes it is deemed
+advisable to record the names of members in connection with the votes
+they give, in which case the roll is called by the secretary, and each
+answers "yes" or "no," which is noted or marked opposite his name.
+
+
+5. _A Quorum._
+
+A quorum is such a number of members as may be required, by rule or
+statute, to be present at a meeting in order to render its
+transactions valid or legal.
+
+
+6. _The Democratic Principle._
+
+All questions, unless their decision be otherwise fixed by law, are
+determined by a majority of votes.
+
+
+7. _Privileged Questions._
+
+There are certain motions which are allowed to supersede a question
+already under debate. These are called privileged questions. The
+following are the usually recognized privileged questions:
+
+1. _Adjournment._--A motion to adjourn is always in order, and takes
+precedence of all others; but it must not be entertained while a
+member is speaking, unless he give way for that purpose, nor while a
+vote is in progress. It is not debatable, and can not be amended.
+
+2. _To Lie on the Table._--A motion to lay a subject on the
+table--that is, to set it aside till it is the pleasure of the body to
+resume its consideration--generally takes precedence of all others,
+except the motion to adjourn. It can neither be debated nor amended.
+
+3. _The Previous Question._--The intention of the previous question is
+to arrest discussion and test at once the sense of the meeting. Its
+form is, "Shall the main question now be put?" It is not debatable,
+and can not be amended. An affirmative decision precludes all further
+debate on the main question. The effect of a negative decision,
+_unless otherwise determined by a special rule_, is to leave the main
+question and all amendments just as it found them.
+
+4. _Postponement._--A motion to postpone the consideration of a
+question indefinitely, which is equivalent to setting it aside
+altogether, may be amended by inserting a certain day. It is not
+debatable.
+
+5. _Commitment._--A motion to commit is made when a question,
+otherwise admissible, is presented in an objectionable or
+inconvenient form. If there be no standing committee to which it can
+be properly submitted, a select committee may be raised for the
+purpose. It may be amended.
+
+6. _Amendment._--The legitimate use of a motion to amend is to correct
+or improve the original motion or resolution; but a motion properly
+before an assembly may be altered in _any_ way; even so as to turn it
+entirely from its original purpose, unless some rule or law shall
+exist to prevent this subversion. An amendment may be amended, but
+here the process must cease. An amendment must of course be put to
+vote before the original question. A motion to amend holds the same
+rank as the previous question and indefinite postponement, and that
+which is moved first must be put first. It may be superseded, however,
+by a motion to postpone to a certain day, or a motion to commit.
+
+7. _Orders of the Day._--Subjects appointed for a specified time are
+called orders of the day, and a motion for them takes precedence of
+all other business, except a motion to adjourn, or a question of
+privilege.
+
+8. _Questions of Privilege._--These are questions which involve the
+rights and privileges of individual members, or of the society or
+assembly collectively. They take precedence over all other
+propositions, except a motion to adjourn.
+
+9. _Questions of Order._--In case of any breach of the rules of the
+society or body, any member may rise to the point of order, and insist
+upon its due enforcement; but in case of a difference of opinion
+whether a rule has been violated or not, the question must be
+determined before the application of the rule can be insisted upon.
+Such a question is usually decided upon by the presiding officer,
+without debate; but any member may appeal from his decision, and
+demand a vote of the house on the matter. A question of order is
+debatable, and the presiding officer, contrary to rule in other cases,
+may participate in the discussion.
+
+10. _Reading of Papers._--When papers or documents of any kind are
+laid before a deliberative assembly, every member has a right to have
+them read before he can be required to vote upon them. They are
+generally read by the secretary, on the reading being called for,
+without the formality of a vote.
+
+11. _Withdrawal of a Motion._--Unless there be a rule to that effect,
+a motion once before the assembly can not be withdrawn without a vote
+of the house, on a motion to allow its withdrawal.
+
+12. _The Suspension of Rules._--When anything is proposed which is
+forbidden by a special rule, it must be preceded by a motion for the
+suspension of the rule, which, if there be no standing rule to the
+contrary, may be carried by a majority of votes; but most deliberative
+bodies have an established rule on this subject, requiring a fixed
+proportion of the votes--usually two thirds.
+
+13. _The Motion to Reconsider._--The intention of this is to enable an
+assembly to revise a decision found to be erroneous. The time within
+which a motion to reconsider may be entertained is generally fixed by
+a special rule; and the general rule is, that it must emanate from
+some member who voted with the majority. In Congress, a motion to
+reconsider takes precedence of all other motions, except the motion to
+adjourn.
+
+
+8. _Order of Business._
+
+In all permanently organized bodies there should be an order of
+business, established by a special rule or by-law; but where no such
+rule or law exists, the president, unless otherwise directed by a
+vote of the assembly, arranges the business in such order as he may
+think most desirable. The following is the order of business of the
+New York Debating Club, referred to in a previous section. It may be
+easily so modified as to be suitable for any similar society:
+
+  1. Call to order.
+  2. Calling the roll.
+  3. Reading the minutes of previous meeting.
+  4. Propositions for membership.
+  5. Reports of special committee.
+  6. Balloting for candidates.
+  7. Reports of standing committee.
+  8. Secretary's report.
+  9. Treasurer's report.
+  10. Reading for the evening.
+  11. Recitations for the evening.
+  12. Candidates initiated.
+  13. Unfinished business.
+  14. Debate.
+  15. New business.
+  16. Adjournment.
+
+
+9. _Order of Debate._
+
+1. A member having got the floor, is entitled to be heard to the end,
+or till the time fixed by rule has expired; and all interruptions,
+except a call to order, are not only out of order, but rude in the
+extreme.
+
+2. A member who temporarily yields the floor to another, is generally
+permitted to resume as soon as the interruption ceases, but he can not
+claim to do so as a right.
+
+3. It is neither in order nor in good taste to designate members by
+name in debate, and they must in no case be directly addressed. Such
+forms as, "The gentleman who has just taken his seat," or, "The member
+on the other side of the house," etc., may be made use of to designate
+persons.
+
+4. Every speaker is bound to confine himself to the question. This
+rule is, however, very liberally interpreted in most deliberative
+assemblies.
+
+5. Every speaker is bound to avoid personalities, and to exercise in
+all respects a courteous and gentlemanly deportment. Principles and
+measures are to be discussed, and not the motives or character of
+those who advocate them.[Q]
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[Q] The foregoing rules of order have been mainly condensed from that
+excellent work, "The American Debater," by James N. McElligott, LL.D.,
+to which the reader is referred for a complete exposition of the whole
+subject of debating. Published by Ivison and Phinney, New York, and
+for sale by Fowler and Wells.
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.
+
+     These, some will say, are little things. It is true, they are
+     little but it is equally clear that they are necessary
+     things.--_Chesterfield._
+
+
+I.--REPUBLICAN DISTINCTIONS.
+
+We have defined equality in another place. We fully accept the
+doctrine as there set forth. We have no respect for mere conventional
+and arbitrary distinctions. Hereditary titles command no deference
+from us. Lords and dukes are entitled to no respect simply because
+they are lords and dukes. If they are really _noble men_, we honor
+them accordingly. Their titles are mere social fictions.
+
+True republicanism requires that every man shall have an equal
+chance--that every man shall be free to become as unequal as he can.
+No man should be valued the less or the more on account of his
+grandfather, his position, his possessions, or his occupation. The MAN
+should be superior to the accidents of his birth, and should take that
+rank which is due to his merit.[R]
+
+The error committed by our professedly republican communities
+consists, not in the recognition of classes and grades of rank, but in
+placing them, as they too often do, on artificial and not on natural
+grounds. We have had frequent occasion, in the preceding pages, to
+speak of superiors and inferiors. We fully recognize the relation
+which these words indicate. It is useless to quarrel with Nature, who
+has nowhere in the universe given us an example of the absolute,
+unqualified, dead-level equality which some pseudo-reformers have
+vainly endeavored to institute among men. Such leveling is neither
+possible nor desirable. Harmony is born of difference, and not of
+sameness.
+
+We have in our country a class of toad-eaters who delight in paying
+the most obsequious homage to fictitious rank of every kind. A vulgar
+millionaire of the Fifth Avenue, and a foreign adventurer with a
+meaningless title, are equally objects of their misplaced deference.
+Losing sight of their own manhood and self-respect, they descend to
+the most degrading sycophancy. We have little hope of benefiting them.
+They are "joined to their idols; let them alone."
+
+But a much larger class of our people are inclined to go to the
+opposite extreme, and ignore veneration, in its human aspect,
+altogether. They have no reverence for anybody or anything. This class
+of people will read our book, and, we trust, profit by its well-meant
+hints. We respect them, though we can not always commend their
+manners. They have independence and manliness, but fail to accord due
+respect to the manhood of others. It is for their special benefit that
+we leave touched with considerable emphasis on the deference due to
+age and _genuine_ rank, from whatever source derived.
+
+Your townsman, Mr. Dollarmark, has no claim on you for any special
+token of respect, simply because he inherited half a million, which
+has grown in his hands to a million and a half, while you can not
+count half a thousand, or because he lives in his own palatial
+mansion, and you in a hired cottage; but your neighbor, Mr. Anvil,
+who, setting out in life, like yourself, without a penny, has amassed
+a little fortune by his own unaided exertions, and secured a high
+social position by his manliness, integrity, and good breeding, is
+entitled to a certain deference on your part--a recognition of his
+merits and his superiority. Mr. Savant, who has gained distinction for
+himself and conferred honor on his country by his scientific
+discoveries, and your aged friend Mr. Goodman, who, though a stranger
+to both wealth and fame, is drawing toward the close of a long and
+useful life, during which he has helped to build up and give character
+to the place in which he lives, have, each in his own way, _earned_
+the right to some token of deference from those who have not yet
+reached an equally elevated position.
+
+It is not for birth, or wealth, or occupation, or any other accidental
+circumstance, that we ask reverence, but for _inherent nobility
+wrought out in life_. This is what should give men rank and titles in
+a republic.
+
+Your hired man, Patrick, may be your inferior, but it is not because
+he is your hired man. Another man, who is your _superior_ in every
+way, may stand in the same business relation to you. He may sell you
+certain stipulated services for a stipulated amount of money; but you
+bargain for no deference that your real social position and character
+do not call for from him. He, and not you, may be entitled to the
+"wall side," and to precedence everywhere.
+
+
+II.--CITY AND COUNTRY.
+
+The words _civil_ and _civilized_ are derived from the Latin _civitas_
+(Ital., _citta_), a city, and _polite_, from the Greek [Greek: polis]
+(_polis_), a city; because cities are the first to become civilized,
+or _civil_, and polite, or _polished_ (Latin, _polire_). They are
+still, as a general rule, the home of the most highly cultivated
+people, as well as of the rudest and most degraded, and unquestioned
+arbiters of fashion and social observances. For this reason the rules
+of etiquette laid down in this and all other works on the subject of
+manners, are calculated, as the astronomers say, for the meridian of
+the city. The observances of the country are borrowed from the city,
+and modified to suit the social condition and wants of the different
+localities. This must always be borne in mind, and your behavior
+regulated accordingly. The white or pale yellow gloves, which you must
+wear during the whole evening at a fashionable evening party in the
+city, under pain of being set down as unbearably vulgar, would be very
+absurd appendages at a social gathering at a farm-house in the
+country. None but a _snob_ would wear them at such a place. So with
+other things.
+
+
+III.--IMPORTED MANNERS.
+
+N. P. Willis says, "We should be glad to see a distinctly American
+school of good manners, in which all useless etiquette were thrown
+aside, but every politeness adopted or invented which could promote
+sensible and easy exchanges of good-will and sociability. Good sense
+and consideration for others should be the basis of every usage of
+polite life that is worth regarding. Indeed, we have long thought that
+our country was old enough to adopt measures and etiquettes of its
+own, based, like all other politeness, upon benevolence and common
+sense. To get rid of imported etiquette is the first thing to do for
+American politeness."
+
+This is an important truth well stated. We have had enough of mere
+imported conventionalism in manners. Our usages should not be English
+or French usages, further than English and French usages are founded
+on universal principles. Politeness is the same everywhere and always,
+but the forms of etiquette must change with times and places; for an
+observance which may be proper and useful in London or Paris, may be
+abundantly absurd in New York.
+
+
+IV.--FICTITIOUS TITLES.
+
+In answer to a correspondent who inquires whether an American citizen
+should address a European nobleman by his title, _Life Illustrated_
+says:
+
+"We answer, unhesitatingly, No. Most of the European titles are purely
+fictitious, as well as ridiculous. The Duke of Northumberland, for
+example, has nothing in particular to do with Northumberland, nor does
+he exercise dukeship (or leadership) over anything except his private
+estate. The title is a perfect absurdity; it means nothing whatever;
+it is a mere nickname; and Mr. Percy is a fool for permitting himself
+to be addressed as 'My Lord Duke,' and 'Your Grace.' Indeed, even in
+England, gentlemen use those titles very sparingly, and servants alone
+habitually employ then. American citizens who are thrown, in their
+travels, or in their intercourse with society, into communication with
+persons bearing titles, may treat them with all due respect without
+Gracing or My-Lording them. In our opinion, they should do so. And we
+have faith enough in the good sense of the English people to believe
+that the next generation, or the next but one, will see a general
+abandonment of fictitious titles by the voluntary action of the very
+people who hold them. At the same time, we are inclined to think that
+the bestowment of real titles--titles which mean something, titles
+given in recognition of distinguished worth and eminent services,
+titles not hereditary--will be one of the most cherished prerogatives
+of the enlightened states of the good time coming. The first step,
+however, must be the total abolition of all titles which are
+fictitious and hereditary."
+
+
+V.--A MIRROR FOR CERTAIN MEN.
+
+The following rather broad hints to certain bipeds who _ought_ to be
+gentlemen, were clipped from some newspaper. We are sorry we do not
+know to whom to credit the article:
+
+"Who can tell why women are expected, on pain of censure and
+avoidance, to conform to a high standard of behavior, while men are
+indulged in another a great deal lower? We never could fully
+understand why men should be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco, in
+smoking and in spitting everywhere almost, and at all times, whereas a
+woman can not do any of these things without exciting aversion and
+disgust. Why ought a man to be allowedly so self-indulgent, putting
+his limbs and person in all manner of attitudes, however uncouth and
+distasteful, merely because such vulgarities yield him temporary
+eases, while a woman is always required to preserve an attitude, if
+not of positive grace, at least of decency and propriety, from which
+if she departs, though but for an instant, she forfeits respect, and
+is instantly branded as a low creature!
+
+"Can any one say why a man when he has the tooth-ache, or is called to
+suffer in any other way, should be permitted, as a matter of course,
+to groan and bellow, and vent his feelings very much in the style of
+an animal not endowed with reason, while a woman similarly suffering
+must bear it in silence and decorum? Why, should men, as a class,
+habitually, and as a matter of right, boldly wear the coarsest
+qualities of human nature on the outside, and swear and fight, and
+beastify themselves, so that they are obliged to be put into separate
+pens in the cars on railroads, and at the depots, while woman must
+appear with an agreeable countenance, if not in smiles, even when the
+head, or perhaps the heart, aches, and are expected to permit nothing
+ill-tempered, disagreeable, or even unhappy to appear outwardly, but
+to keep all these concealed in their own bosoms to suffer as they may,
+lest they might otherwise lessen the cheerfulness of others?
+
+"These are a few suggestions only among many we would hint to the
+stronger and more exciting sex to be reflected on for the improvement
+of their tastes and manners. In the mirror thus held up before them,
+they can not avoid observing the very different standards by which the
+behavior of the two sexes is constantly regulated. If any reason can
+be assigned why one should always be a lady, and the other hardly ever
+a gentleman, we hope it will be done."
+
+
+VI.--WASHINGTON'S CODE OF MANNERS.
+
+Every action ought to be with some sign of respect to those present.
+Be no flatterer; neither play with any one who delights not to be
+played with. Read no paper or book in company. Come not near the
+papers or books of another when he is writing. Let your countenance be
+cheerful; but in serious matters be grave. Let your discourse with
+others, on matters of business, be short. It is good manners to let
+others speak first. When a man does all he can, do not blame him,
+though he succeeds not well. Take admonitions thankfully. Be not too
+hasty to receive lying reports to the injury of another. Let your
+dress be modest, and consult your condition. _Play not the peacock by
+looking vainly at yourself._ It is better to be alone than in bad
+company. Let your conversation be without malice or envy. Urge not
+your friend to discover a secret. Break not a jest where none take
+pleasure in mirth. Gaze not on the blemishes of others. When another
+speaks, be attentive.
+
+
+VII.--MARKED PASSAGES.
+
+On turning over the leaves of the various works on etiquette which we
+have had occasion to consult in the preparation of this little manual,
+we have marked with our pencil a large number of passages which seemed
+to us to embody important facts or thoughts, with the hope of being
+able to weave them into our work, each in its appropriate place. Some
+of them we have made use of according to our original intention; a few
+others not elsewhere used, we purpose to throw together here without
+any attempt at classification.
+
+
+1. _Our Social Uniform._
+
+The universal partiality of our countrymen for _black_, as the color
+of dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners.
+Among the best dressed men on the Continent, as well as in England,
+black, through not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use
+than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown, and green, and
+for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics.
+
+
+2. _A Hint to the Ladies._
+
+Don't make your rooms gloomy. Furnish them for light and let them have
+it. Daylight is very cheap, and candle or gas light you need not use
+often. If your rooms are dark, all the effect of furniture, pictures,
+walls, and carpets is lost. Finally, if you have beautiful things,
+make them useful. The fashion of having a nice parlor, and then
+shutting it up all but three or four days in the year, when you have
+company; spending your own life in a mean room, shabbily furnished, or
+an unhealthy basement, to save your things, is the meanest possible
+economy. Go a little further--shut up your house, and live in a
+pig-pen! The use of nice and beautiful things is to act upon your
+spirit--to educate you and make you beautiful.
+
+
+3. _Another._
+
+Don't put your cards around the looking-glass, unless in your private
+boudoir. If you wish to display them, keep them in a suitable basket
+or vase on the mantle or center-table.
+
+
+4. _An Obliging Disposition._
+
+Polite persons are necessarily obliging. A smile is always on their
+lips, an earnestness in their countenance, when we ask a favor of
+them. They know that to render a service with a bad grace, is in
+reality not to render it at all. If they are obliged to refuse a
+favor, they do it with mildness and delicacy; they express such
+feeling regret that they still inspire us with gratitude; in short,
+their conduct appears so perfectly natural that it really seems that
+the opportunity which is offered them of obliging us, is obliging
+themselves; and they refuse all our thanks, without affectation or
+effort.
+
+
+5. _Securing a Home._
+
+Let me, as a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of
+social life, in our own country especially, enter my earnest protest
+against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of
+_boarding_, in place of at once establishing for themselves the
+distinctive and ennobling prerogatives of HOME. Language and time
+would alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils
+inevitably growing out of this fashionable system. Take the advice of
+an old man, who has tested theories by prolonged experience, and at
+once establish your PENATES within four walls, and under a roof that
+will, at times, exclude all who are not properly denizens of your
+household, upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life.
+Do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you can not
+shrine your home deities upon pedestals of marble. _Cover their bases
+with flowers_--God's free gift to all--and the plainest support will
+suffice for them if it be but _firm_.
+
+
+6. _Taste vs. Fashion._
+
+A lady should never, on account of economy, wear either what she deems
+an ugly or an ungraceful garment; such garments never put her at her
+ease, and are neglected and cast aside long before they have done her
+their true service. We are careful only of those things which suit us,
+and which we believe adorn us, and the mere fact of believing that we
+look well, goes a great way toward making us do so. Fashion should be
+sacrificed to taste, or, at best, followed at a distance; it does not
+do to be _entirely out_, nor _completely in_, what is called
+"fashion," many things being embraced under that term which are
+frivolous, unmeaning, and sometimes meretricious.
+
+
+7. _Special Claims._
+
+There are persons to whom a lady or gentleman should be especially
+polite. All elderly persons, the unattractive, the poor, and those
+whose dependent positions may cause them to fear neglect. The
+gentleman who offers his arm or gives his time to an old lady, or asks
+a very plain one to dance, or attends one who is poorly dressed, never
+looses in others' estimation or his own.
+
+
+8. _Propriety of Deportment._
+
+Propriety of deportment is the valuable result of a knowledge of one's
+self, and of respect for the rights of others; it is a feeling of the
+sacrifices which are imposed on self-esteem by our social relations;
+it is, in short, a sacred requirement of harmony and affection.
+
+
+9. _False Pride._
+
+False pride and false dignity are very mean qualities. A true
+gentleman will do anything proper for him to do. He can soil his hands
+or use his muscles when there is occasion. The truest gentleman is
+more likely to carry home a market-basket, or a parcel, or to wheel a
+barrow through Broadway, than many a conceited little snob of a
+shop-boy.
+
+
+10. _The Awkwardness of being "Dressed."_
+
+When dressed for company, strive to appear as easy and natural as if
+you were in undress. Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive
+person, or more ridiculous to one gifted with an _esprit moquer_ [a
+disposition to "make fun"], than to see a lady laboring under the
+consciousness of a fine gown; or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward,
+and ungainly in a brand-new coat.
+
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[R] _Life Illustrated._
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+MAXIMS FROM CHESTERFIELD.
+
+     The pages of the "Noble Oracle" are replete with sound advice,
+     which all may receive with profit. Genuine politeness is the
+     same always and everywhere.--_Madame Bienceance._
+
+
+1. _Cheerfulness and Good Humor._
+
+It is a wonderful thing that so many persons, putting in claims to
+good breeding, should think of carrying their spleen into company, and
+entertaining those with whom they converse with a history of their
+pains, head-aches, and ill-treatment. This is, of all others, the
+meanest help to social happiness; and a man must have a very mean
+opinion of himself, who, on having detailed his grievances, is
+accosted by asking the news. Mutual good-humor is a dress in which we
+ought to appear, whenever we meet; and we ought to make no mention of
+ourselves, unless it be in matters wherein our friends ought to
+rejoice. There is no real life but cheerful life; therefore
+valetudinarians should be sworn before they enter into company not to
+say a word of themselves until the meeting breaks up.
+
+
+2. _The Art of Pleasing._
+
+The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very
+difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and your
+own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can.
+Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of
+pleasing. Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably
+the same things in you will please others. If you are pleased with
+the complaisance and attention of others to you, depend upon it the
+same complaisance and attention, on your part, will equally please
+them. Take the tone of the company you are in, and do not pretend to
+give it; be serious or gay, as you find the present humor of the
+company. This is an attention due from every individual to the
+majority.
+
+
+3. _Adaptation of Manners._
+
+Ceremony resembles that base coin which circulates through a country
+by the royal mandate. It serves every purpose of real money at home,
+but is entirely useless if carried abroad. A person who should attempt
+to circulate his native trash in another country would be thought
+either ridiculous or culpable. He is truly well-bred who knows when to
+value and when to despise those national peculiarities which are
+regarded by some with so much observance. A traveler of taste at once
+perceives that the wise are polite all the world over, but that fools
+are polite only at home.
+
+
+4. _Bad Habits._
+
+Keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits, such as thrusting on
+your tongue, continually snapping your fingers, rubbing your hands,
+sighing aloud, gaping with a noise like a country fellow that has been
+sleeping in a hay-loft, or indeed with any noise; and many others that
+I have noticed before. These are imitations of the manners of the mob,
+and are degrading to a gentleman. It is rude and vulgar to lean your
+head back and destroy the appearance of fine papered walls.
+
+
+5. _Do what You are About._
+
+_Hoc age_ was a maxim among the Romans, which means, "Do what you are
+about, and do that only." A little mind is hurried by twenty things
+at once; but a man of sense does but one thing at a time, and resolves
+to excel in it; for whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing
+well. Therefore, remember to give yourself up entirely to the thing
+you are doing, be it what it may, whether your book or your play; for
+if you have a right ambition, you will desire to excel all boys of
+your age, at cricket, at trap-ball, as well as in learning.
+
+
+6. _People who never Learn._
+
+There have been people who have frequented the first companies all
+their lifetime, and yet have never divested themselves of their
+natural stiffness and awkwardness; but have continued as vulgar as if
+they were never out of a servants' hall. This has been owing to
+carelessness, and a want of attention to the manners and behavior of
+others.
+
+
+7. _Conformity to Local Manners._
+
+Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is
+essentially the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is
+called, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is different
+in almost every country, and merely local; and every man of sense
+imitates and conforms to that local good-breeding or the place which
+he is at.
+
+
+8. _How to Confer Favors._
+
+The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and bunglingly as to
+offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to
+oblige. Endeavor to acquire this great secret. It exists, it is to be
+found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of the
+alchymists would be, if it were, as it is not, to be found.
+
+
+9. _Fitness._
+
+One of the most important points of life is decency, which means doing
+what is proper, and where it is proper; for many things are proper at
+one time, and in one place, that are extremely improper in another.
+Read men, therefore, yourself, not in books, but in nature. Adopt no
+systems, but study them yourself.
+
+
+10. _How to Refuse._
+
+A polite manner of refusing to comply with the solicitations of a
+company is also very necessary to be learned; for a young man who
+seems to have no will of his own, but does everything that is asked of
+him, may be a very good-natured, but he is a very silly, fellow.
+
+
+11. _Civility to Women._
+
+Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no
+provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every
+woman; and the greatest man in the world would be justly reckoned a
+brute, if he were not civil to the meanest woman.
+
+
+12. _Spirit._
+
+Spirit is now a very fashionable word. To act with spirit, to speak
+with spirit, means only to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. An
+able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is
+neither hot nor timid.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES.
+
+     It is well to combine amusement with instruction, whether you
+     write for young or old.--_Anonymous._
+
+
+I.--ELDER BLUNT AND SISTER SCRUB.
+
+The house of the excellent Squire Scrub was the itinerant's home; and
+a right sweet, pleasant home it would have been but for a certain
+unfortunate weakness of the every other way _excellent_ Sister Scrub.
+The weakness I allude to was, or at least it was suspected to be, _the
+love of praise_. Now the good sister was really worthy of high praise,
+and she often received it; but she had a way of disparaging herself
+and her performances which some people thought was intended to invite
+praise. No housewife kept her floors looking so clean and her walls so
+well whitewashed as she. Every board was scrubbed and scoured till
+further scrubbing and scouring would have been labor wasted. No one
+could look on her white ash floor and not admire the polish her
+industry gave it. The "Squire" was a good provider, and Sister Scrub
+was an excellent cook; and so their table groaned under a burden of
+good things on all occasions when good cheer was demanded. And yet you
+could never enter the house and sit half an hour without being
+reminded that "Husband held Court yesterday, and she couldn't keep the
+house decent." If you sat down to eat with them, she was sorry she
+"hadn't anything fit to eat." She had been scrubbing, or washing, or
+ironing, or she had been half sick, and she hadn't got such and such
+things that she ought to have. Nor did it matter how bountiful or how
+well prepared the repast really was, there was always _something_
+deficient, the want of which furnished a text for a disparaging
+discourse on the occasion. I remember once that we sat down to a table
+that a king might have been happy to enjoy. There was the light
+snow-white bread; there were the potatoes reeking in butter; there
+were chickens swimming in gravy; there were the onions and the
+turnips, and I was sure Sister Scrub had gratified her ambition for
+once. We sat down, and a blessing was asked; instantly the good sister
+began; she was afraid her coffee was too much burned, or that the
+water had been smoked, or that she hadn't roasted the chicken enough.
+There ought to have been some salad, and it was too bad that there was
+nothing nice to offer us.
+
+We, of course, endured those unjustifiable apologies as well as the
+could, simply remarking that everything was really nice, and proving
+by our acts that the repast was tempting to our appetites.
+
+I will now introduce another actor to the reader--Elder Blunt, the
+circuit preacher. Elder Blunt was a good man. His religion was of the
+most genuine, experimental kind. He was a _very_ plain man. He, like
+Mr. Wesley, would no more dare to preach a _fine_ sermon than wear a
+fine coat. He was celebrated for his common-sense way of exhibiting
+the principles of religion. He _would_ speak just what he thought, and
+as he felt. He somehow got the name of being an eccentric preacher, as
+every man, I believe, does who _never_ prevaricates, and always acts
+and speaks as he thinks. Somehow or other, Elder Blunt had heard of
+Sister Scrub, and that infirmity of hers, and he resolved to cure
+her. On his first round he stopped at "Squire Scrub's," as all other
+itinerants had done before him. John, the young man, took the elder's
+horse and put him in the stable, and the preacher entered the house.
+He was shown into the best room, and soon felt very much at home. He
+expected to hear something in due time disparaging the domestic
+arrangements, but he heard it sooner than he expected. This time, if
+Sister Scrub could be credited, her house was all upside down; it
+wasn't fit to stay in, and she was sadly mortified to be caught in
+such a plight. The elder looked all around the room, as if to observe
+the terrible disorder, but he said not a word. By-and-by the dinner
+was ready, and the elder sat down with the family to a well spread
+table. Here, again, Sister Scrub found everything faulty; the coffee
+wasn't fit to drink, and she hadn't anything fit to eat. The elder
+lifted his dark eye to her face; for a moment he seemed to penetrate
+her very soul with his austere gaze; then slowly rising from the
+table, he said, "Brother Scrub, I want my horse immediately; I must
+leave!"
+
+"Why, Brother Blunt, what is the matter?"
+
+"Matter? Why, sir, your house isn't fit to stay in, and you haven't
+anything fit to eat or drink, and I won't stay."
+
+Both the "Squire" and his lady were confounded. This was a piece of
+eccentricity entirely unlooked for. They were stupefied. But the elder
+was gone. He wouldn't stay in a house not fit to stay in, and where
+there wasn't anything fit to eat and drink.
+
+Poor Sister Scrub! She wept like a child at her folly. She "knew it
+would be all over town," she said, "and everybody would be laughing at
+her." And then, how should she meet the blunt, honest elder again?
+"She hadn't meant anything by what she had said." Ah! she never
+thought how wicked it was to say _so much_ that didn't mean anything.
+
+The upshot of the whole matter was, that Sister Scrub "saw herself as
+others saw her." She ceased making apologies, and became a wiser and
+better Christian. Elder Blunt always puts up there, always finds
+everything as it should be, and, with all his eccentricities, is
+thought by the family the most agreeable, as he is acknowledged by
+everybody to be the most consistent, of men.--_Rev. J. V. Watson._
+
+
+II.--THE PRESENCE.
+
+Mr. Johnson, an English traveler, relates, in his notes on North
+America, the following story:
+
+"At Boston," he says, "I was told of a gentleman in the neighborhood
+who, having a farm servant, found him very satisfactory in every
+respect, except that he invariably came into his employer's room with
+his hat on.
+
+"'John,' said he to the man one day, 'you always keep your hat on when
+you come into the room.'
+
+"'Well, sir,' said John, 'and haven't I a right to?'
+
+"'Yes,' was his employer's reply, 'I suppose you have.'
+
+"'Well,' said John, 'if I have a right to, why shouldn't I?'
+
+"This was a poser from one man to another, where all have equal
+rights. So, after a moment's reflection the gentleman asked:
+
+"'Now, John, what will you take, how much more wages will you ask, to
+take off your hat whenever you come in?'
+
+"'Well, that requires consideration, I guess,' said the man.
+
+"'Take the thing into consideration, then,' rejoined the employer,
+'and let me know to-morrow morning.'
+
+"The morrow comes, and John appears.
+
+"'Well, John, have you considered what additional wages you are to
+have for taking your hat off?'
+
+"'Well, sir, I guess it's worth a dollar a month.'
+
+"'It's settled, then, John; you shall have another dollar a month.'
+
+"So the gentleman retained a good man, while John's hat was always in
+his hand when he entered the house."
+
+This story, to one who knows New England, is not altogether
+incredible. Toward the democratization of this country, yet most
+incomplete, it will perhaps be one day conceded that the South has
+contributed ideas, and New England sentiment; while the Great West
+will have made a partial application of both to the conduct of life.
+The Yankees are the kindest and the acutest of our people, and the
+most ungraceful. Nowhere in the world is there so much good feeling,
+combined with so much rudeness of manner, as in New England. The
+South, colonized by Cavaliers, retains much of the Cavalier
+improvidence and careless elegance of manner; and Southerners, like
+the soil they till, are generous. But the Yankees, descended from
+austere and Puritanic farmers, and accustomed to wring their
+subsistence from an unwilling soil, possess the sterling virtues of
+human nature along with a stiff-jointed awkwardness of manner, and a
+sharp angularity of thought, which renders them unpleasing even to
+those who respect them most. A Yankee seldom ceases to be provincial.
+
+But John is waiting, hat in hand, to hear what we have to say
+respecting his case.
+
+We say that John was wrong in not taking off his hat voluntarily, but
+that the feeling which prevented his doing so was right. He was right
+in feeling that the accidental circumstance of his being a hired man
+gave his employer no claim to any special mark of respect from him;
+and, as he considered that the removal of his hat would have been a
+special mark of respect, and thus an acknowledgment of social
+inferiority, he declined to make that acknowledgment. But John was
+mistaken. The act referred to would not have borne such an
+interpretation. John ought to have felt that on coming into the
+presence of a man, a fellow-citizen and co-sovereign, and particularly
+on entering his abode, one of the innumerable royal residences of the
+country, some visible sign of respect, some kind of deferential
+salutation, is _due_ from the person entering. John should have risen
+superior to the mere accident of his position, and remembered only
+that he and his employer were men and equals. The positions of the two
+men might be reversed in a day; their equality as men and citizens,
+nothing but crime could affect.--_James Parton._
+
+
+III.--A LEARNED MAN AT TABLE.
+
+Some of the many errors which are liable to be committed through
+ignorance of usage, are pleasantly pointed out in the following story,
+which is related by a French writer:
+
+The Abbe Cosson, professor in the _College Mazarin_, thoroughly
+accomplished in the art of teaching, saturated with Greek, Latin, and
+literature, considered himself a perfect well of science: he had no
+conception that a man who knew all Persius and Horace by heart could
+possibly commit an error--above all, an error at table. But it was not
+long before he discovered his mistake. One day, after dining with the
+Abbe de Radonvilliers at Versailles, in company with several courtiers
+and marshals of France; he was boasting of the rare acquaintance with
+etiquette and custom which he had exhibited at dinner. The Abbe
+Delille, who heard this eulogy upon his own conduct, interrupted his
+harangue by offering to wager that he had committed at least a hundred
+improprieties at the table. "How is it possible?" exclaimed Cosson. "I
+did exactly like the rest of the company."
+
+"What absurdity!" said the other. "You did a thousand things which no
+one else did. First, when you sat down at the table, what did you do
+with your napkin?" "My napkin! why, just what everybody else did with
+theirs. I unfolded it entirely, and fastened it to my button-hole."
+"Well, my dear friend," said Delille, "you were the only one that did
+_that_, at all events. No one hangs up his napkin in that style; they
+are contented with placing it on their knees. And what did you do when
+you took soup?" "Like the others, I believe. I took any spoon in one
+hand and my fork in the other--" "Your fork! Who ever ate soup with a
+fork? But to proceed: after your soup, what did you eat?" "A fresh
+egg." "And what did you do with the shell?" "Handed it to the servant
+who stood behind my chair." "Without breaking it, of course?" "Well,
+my dear Abbe, nobody ever eats an egg without breaking the shell."
+"And after your egg--?" "I asked the Abbe Radonvilliers to send me a
+piece of the hen near him." "Bless my soul! a piece of the _hen_! You
+never speak of hens excepting in the barn-yard. You should have asked
+for fowl, or chicken. But you say nothing of your mode of drinking."
+"Like all the rest, I asked for _claret_ and _champagne_." "Let me
+inform you, then, that persons always ask for _claret wine_ and
+_champagne wine_. But tell me, how did you eat your bread?" "Surely I
+did that properly. I cut it with my knife in the most regular manner
+possible." "Bread should always be broken, not cut. But the coffee,
+how did you manage it?" "It was rather too hot, and I poured a little
+of it into my saucer." "Well, you committed here the greatest fault of
+all. You should never pour your coffee into the saucer, but always
+drink it from the cup." The poor Abbe was confounded. He felt that
+though one might be master of the seven sciences, yet that there was
+another species of knowledge which, if less dignified, was equally
+important.
+
+This occurred many years ago, but there is not one of the observances
+neglected by the Abbe Cosson which is not enforced with equal
+rigidness in the present day.
+
+
+IV.--ENGLISH WOMEN IN HIGH LIFE.
+
+Lord Hardwicke's family consists of his countess, his eldest son
+(about eighteen or twenty, Lord Royston by courtesy), three of the
+finest-looking daughters you ever saw, and several younger sons. The
+daughters--Lady Elizabeth, Lady Mary, and Lady Agnita--are
+surpassingly beautiful; such development--such rosy cheeks, laughing
+eyes, and unaffected manners--you rarely see combined. They take a
+great deal of out-door exercise, and came aboard the Merrimac, in a
+heavy rain, with Irish shoes thicker soled than you or I ever wore,
+and cloaks and dresses almost impervious to wet. They steer their
+father's yacht, walk the Lord knows how many miles, and don't care a
+cent about rain, besides doing a host of other things that would shock
+our ladies to death; and yet in the parlor are the most elegant
+looking women, in their satin shoes and diamonds, I ever saw.... After
+dinner the ladies play and sing for us, and the other night they got
+up a game of blind-man's-buff; in which the ladies said we had the
+advantage, inasmuch as their "petticoats rustled so that they were
+easily caught." They call things by their names here. In the course of
+the game, Lord Hardwicke himself was blindfolded, and, trying to catch
+some one, fell over his daughter's lap on the floor, when two or three
+of the girls caught him by the legs and dragged his lordship--roaring
+with laughter, as we all were--on his back into the middle of the
+floor. Yet they are perfectly respectful, but appear on a perfect
+equality with each other.--_Letter from an Officer of the "Merrimac."_
+
+
+V.--"VIL YOU SAY SO, IF YOU PLEASE?"
+
+"Speaking of _not speaking_," said I, when the general amusement had
+abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed
+in the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to
+wait several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a
+bustling, sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking
+about the room, apparently upon a tom of inspection, finally settled
+herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the
+only one in the room--and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound
+asleep. It was not long, however, before a noise of some one entering
+aroused her, and a tall, gaunt, old Yankee woman, hung around with
+countless bags, bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various
+sizes and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After slowly
+relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her
+progress in life, she turned to a young man who accompanied her, and
+said, in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken,
+at this day, for a railroad whistle--
+
+"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go
+for them toothache drops; I am a'most crazy with pain!' laying a hand
+upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as
+the door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at
+the same time,' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknown
+depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to
+light a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of
+a modern belle. 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I
+don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred up.'
+
+"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly
+aroused, and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger,
+her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest
+of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group).
+With a prolonged stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the
+vacated seat, making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility
+she had received. Presently she began to groan, rocking herself
+furiously at the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair,
+who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long row
+of wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she,
+'that you suffare ver' much--vat can I do for you?' The representative
+of Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response
+she made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously
+than ever might be construed into a reply.
+
+"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so
+anomalous a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated.
+
+"Before I was summoned away, the toothache drops and the snuff
+together (both administered in large doses) seemed to have gradually
+produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.
+
+"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action.
+
+"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with
+considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer.
+
+"'And you feel dis _fauteuil_ really very _com-for-ta-ble_?' pursued
+the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just
+discernible.
+
+"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of
+impatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually _screamed_
+out:
+
+"'_Bien_, madame, _vil you say so_, if you please?'
+
+"_Henry Lunettes._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE INDISPENSABLE HAND-BOOK.
+
+How to Write----How to Talk----How to Behave, and How to Do Business.
+
+COMPLETE IN ONE LARGE VOLUME.
+
+This new work--in four parts--embraces just that practical
+matter-of-fact information which every one--old and young--ought to
+have. It will aid in attaining, if it does not insure, "success in
+life." It contains some 600 pages, elegantly bound, and is divided
+into four parts, as follows:
+
+HOW TO WRITE:
+
+    As a Manual of Letter-Writing and Composition, is far superior
+    to the common "Letter-Writers." It teaches the inexperienced how
+    to write Business Letters, Family Letters, Friendly Letters,
+    Love Letters, Notes and Cards, and Newspaper Articles, and how
+    to Correct Proof for the Press. The newspapers have pronounced
+    it "Indispensable."
+
+HOW TO TALK:
+
+    No other Book contains so much Useful Instruction on the subject
+    as this. It teaches how to Speak Correctly, Clearly, Fluently,
+    Forcibly, Eloquently, and Effectively, in the Shop, in the
+    Drawing-room; a Chairman's Guide, to conduct Debating Societies
+    and Public Meetings; how to Spell, end how to Pronounce all
+    sorts of Words; with Exercises for Declamation. The chapter on
+    "Errors Corrected" is worth the price of the volume to every
+    young man. "Worth a dozen grammars."
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE:
+
+    This is a Manual of Etiquette, and it is believed to be the best
+    "MANNERS BOOK" ever written. If you desire to know what good
+    manners require, at Home, on the Street, at a Party, at Church,
+    at Table, in Conversation, at Places of Amusement, in Traveling,
+    in the Company of Ladies, in Courtship, this book will inform
+    you. It is a standard work on Good Behavior.
+
+HOW TO DO BUSINESS:
+
+    Indispensable in the Counting-room, in the Store, in the Shop,
+    on the FARM, for the Clerk, the Apprentice, the Book Agent, and
+    for Business Men. It teaches how to Choose a Pursuit, and how to
+    follow it with success. "It teaches how to get rich honestly,"
+    and how to use your riches wisely.
+
+How to Write--How to Talk--How to Behave--How to Do Business, bound in
+one large handsome volume, for $2
+
+
+PRACTICAL OUTDOOR BOOKS.
+
+HOW TO RAISE FRUITS.--A Handbook of Fruit Culture. Being a Guide to
+the Proper Cultivation and Management of Fruit Trees, and of Grapes
+and Small Fruits, with condensed descriptions of many of the best and
+most popular varieties, with upwards of 100 engravings. By THOMAS
+GREGG. $1.00
+
+    A book which should be owned by every person who owns a rod of
+    available land, and it will serve to secure success where now
+    there is nothing but failure. It covers the ground fully,
+    without technicalities, and is a work on "Fruit Culture for the
+    Million."
+
+    It tells of the cost, how to plant, how to trim, how to
+    transplant, location, soil, selection diseases, insects, borers,
+    blights, cultivation, how to prune, manuring, layering, budding
+    grafting, etc., including full description and management of
+    Orchard Fruit, such as Apples, Peaches, Pears, Plums, Cherries,
+    Quinces, Apricots, Nectarines, etc. It is a most Complete Guide
+    to Small-Fruit Culture, with many illustrations and descriptions
+    of the latest varieties of Grapes, Strawberries, Blackberries,
+    Raspberries, Gooseberries, Currants, etc.
+
+HOW TO PAINT.--A New Work by a Practical Painter. Denoted for the use
+of Farmers, Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, and as a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain common-sense statement of the
+methods employed by painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every description, including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper-Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying, and Ornamenting, with
+directions for mixing and applying all kinds of Paints. Makes "Every
+Man his Own Painter." $1.00.
+
+THE MODEL POTATO.--An exposition of the proper cultivation of the
+Potato; the Causes of its Disease, and the Remedy; its Renewal,
+Preservation, Productiveness, and Cooking. 50 cents.
+
+HORSES: THEIR FEED AND THEIR FEET.--A manual of horse hygiene,
+invaluable for the veteran or the novice, pointing out the causes of
+"Malaria," "Glanders," "Pink Eye," "Distemper," etc., and how to
+Prevent and Counteract them. By C. E. PAGE, M.D., with a Treatise and
+Notes on Shoeing by Sir George Cox and Col. M. C. Weld. 150 pp. 12mo,
+paper, 50 cents; extra cloth, 75 cents.
+
+    By mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address
+
+    FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers,
+    753 Broadway, New York
+
+
+A NEW WORK.
+
+_FRESH, SEASONABLE, ADVANCED._
+
+BRAIN AND MIND;
+
+OR
+
+MENTAL SCIENCE CONSIDERED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PRINCIPLES OF
+PHRENOLOGY, AND IN RELATION TO MODERN PHYSIOLOGY
+
+    By HENRY S. DRAYTON, A.M., and JAMES McNEILL.
+
+    Illustrated with over One Hundred Portraits and Diagrams.
+    12mo, extra cloth          Price, $1.60.
+
+This contribution to the science of mind has been made in response to
+the demand of the time for a work embodying the grand principles of
+Phrenology, as they are understood and applied to-day by the advanced
+exponents of mental philosophy. The authors state in their Preface:
+"In preparing this volume it has been the aim to meet an existing
+want, viz. That of a treatise which not only gives the reader a
+complete view of the system of mental science known as Phrenology, but
+also exhibits its relation to anatomy and physiology as those sciences
+are represented to-day by standard authority."
+
+The work is divided into eighteen chapters, which are entitled as
+follows:
+
+  CHAPTERS.
+      I. GENERAL PRINCIPLES.
+     II. OF THE TEMPERAMENTS.
+    III. STRUCTURE OF THE BRAIN AND SKULL.
+     IV. CLASSIFICATION OF THE FACULTIES.
+      V. THE PHYSICO-PRESERVATIVE, OR SELFISH ORGANS.
+     VI. OF THE INTELLECT.
+    VII. THE SEMI-INTELLECTUAL FACULTIES.
+   VIII. THE ORGANS OF THE SOCIAL FUNCTIONS.
+     IX. THE SELFISH SENTIMENTS.
+      X. THE MORAL AND RELIGIOUS SENTIMENTS.
+     XI. HOW TO EXAMINE HEADS.
+    XII. HOW CHARACTER IS MANIFESTED.
+   XIII. THE ACTION OF THE FACULTIES.
+    XIV. THE RELATION OF PHRENOLOGY TO METAPHYSICS AND EDUCATION.
+     XV. VALUE OF PHRENOLOGY AS AN ART.
+    XVI. PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY.
+   XVII. OBJECTIONS AND CONFIRMATIONS BY THE PHYSIOLOGISTS.
+  XVIII. PHRENOLOGY IN GENERAL LITERATURE.
+
+In style and treatment it is adapted to the general reader, and
+abounds with valuable instruction expressed in clear, practical terms.
+
+It is printed on fine paper, and substantially bound in cloth, and
+contains 325 pages. 12mo. Price $1.50, by mail post-paid.
+
+     _Address_ FOWLER & WELLS CO., 753 Broadway, N. Y.
+
+
+HOW TO PAINT.
+
+_"EVERY MAN HIS OWN PAINTER."_
+
+How to Paint.--A complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the use
+of Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants, Farmers, and a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain Common-sense statement of the
+Methods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every Description, including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling, Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, with
+Formulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Pigments
+used; their Average Cost, Tools required, etc. By F. B. GARDNER,
+author of the _Carriage Painter's Manual_. 127 pp. Cloth, $1.00.
+
+This is just the work needed by every person who has anything to
+paint, as will be seen from the following from the Table of Contents.
+It is very complete, and will make "Every Man his Own Painter."
+
+    CHAPTER I.--PAINTING--Tools used.
+
+    CHAPTER II.--BRUSHES.
+
+    CHAPTER III.--DRY COLORS--White Lead; Fine White; Lamp Black;
+    Drop Black; Ivory Black; Prussian Blue; Ultramarine Green;
+    Yellow; Vermilion; Brown; Lake; Carmine; Rose Pink; Whiting;
+    Glue; Pumice Stone; Asphaltum.
+
+    CHAPTER IV.--LIQUIDS--Spirits of Turpentine; Oils; Varnishes;
+    Furniture Varnish; Average Prices of Varnish; Shellac Varnish;
+    Japan Gold Size; Brown Japan Size; Fat Oil Size; Quick Size;
+    Asphaltum Size; Honey Size; Size for Glass.
+
+    CHAPTER V.--COLORS IN OIL--Tube Colors; Compound Colors.
+
+    CHAPTER VI.--Mixing Paint; White Paint; White for Inside Work;
+    China Glass; Oil Color for Outside Work; Dead, or Flat Color;
+    Colors Ground in Oil. PUTTY--Common Window Putty; Carriage
+    Painters' Putty; Cementing Putty; Furniture Putty; Hardwood
+    Putty; Putty for Plaster Work.
+
+    CHAPTER VII.--MILK PAINT--Distemper Painting; Kalsomine;
+    Preparing Kalsomine; Paint for Out-Buildings; Paint for Iron
+    Railing; White wash; Size for Walls; Paste for Paper hanging;
+    Hanging Paper.
+
+    CHAPTER VIII.--Graining; Oak in Distemper; Oak in Oil; Maple;
+    Mahogany; Rosewood; Black Walnut; Staining; Granite; Brown
+    Stone; Portland Stone; Smalting; Flockings; Marbling.
+
+    CHAPTER IX.--GILDING--Gold Leaf; Silver Leaf; Dutch Metal;
+    Gilding on Glass; Bronzing; Stenciling; Transferring;
+    Decalcomanie; Transparent Painting; Pearl Inlaying; Making a
+    Rustic Picture; Painting Flower Stand; Polish for Mahogany;
+    Varnishing Furniture; Waxing Furniture; Cleaning Paint; Paint
+    for Farming Tools; Paint for Machinery; Paint for Household
+    Goods; Paint for Iron; To Imitate Ground Glass; Pumicing
+    Ornaments; Painting to Imitate Damask; To Paint a Farm Wagon; To
+    Re-Varnish a Carriage; To Duplicate Plaster Casts; "Putty Work;"
+    Permanent Wood Filling for House Work.
+
+It is neatly Printed, with illustrations showing everything that can
+be illustrated in connection with the subject. Published in uniform
+style with the Carriage Painter's Manual, at the same price. $1.00, by
+mail, past-paid, to any address by B. R. WELLS & CO., Publishers, 737
+Broadway, N. Y.
+
+
+THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT,
+
+    Containing the Original Greek Text of THE NEW TESTAMENT with an
+    interlineary word-for-word English Translation; a new Emphatic
+    Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on the Readings
+    of Eminent Critics, and on the various Readings of the Vatican
+    Manuscript (No 1,209 in the Vatican Library); together with
+    illustrative and Explanatory Foot Notes, and a copious Selection
+    of References; to the whole of which is added a valuable
+    Alphabetical Index.
+
+By BENJAMIN WILSON.
+
+One Vol., 12mo, 884 pp. Price, extra cloth, $4; Lib. binding, $5.
+
+We have here a Greek Text acknowledged to be one of the best, which
+Greek scholars will find of importance, while the unlearned have an
+almost equal chance with those who are acquainted with the original,
+by having an interlinear, literal, word-for-word English translation.
+On the right hand of each page there is a column containing a special
+rendering of the translation, including the labors of many talented
+critics and translators, and in this column the emphatic signs are
+noted by which the Greek words of emphasis are designated, which the
+common and are new version of the New Testament fail to give. The
+adopting of the ensigns of emphasis give a certainty and intensity to
+the passages where they occur which can not be had without them. In
+addition to this there are numerous footnotes and references, making
+it on the whole one of the most valuable aids to Bible study yet
+published.
+
+OPINIONS OF THE CLERGY.
+
+The following extracts from a letters received by the publishers will
+go far to show in what the light the "Emphatic Diaglott" is regarded
+by the clergy:
+
+    From J. R. GRAVES, LL.D., _Editor of Tenn. Baptist_.--"There are
+    many of our ministers who have mastered the usual amount of
+    Greek required to complete their course at school but have found
+    little time since entering upon their ministerial labors to
+    "keep it up," and rust has so gathered upon their Greek that it
+    has become a labor to work it out without Grammar and Lexicon.
+    To all such and even to those who have accomplished but little
+    in the language, this INTERLINEARY translation will prove an
+    invaluable help. The CRITICAL FOOT-NOTES and Dictionary of Terms
+    at the close are fully worth the price of the work itself. I can
+    cordially commend it to every minister and Bible student as a
+    rigidly faithful translation of the New Testament, and for
+    several reasons the most valuable one that has yet been made."
+
+    From THOMAS ARMITAGE, D.D., _Pastor of the Fifth Ave. Baptist
+    Church_.--"GENTLEMEN: I have examined with much care and great
+    interest the specimen sheets sent me of 'the Emphatic Diaglott.'
+    ... I believe that the book furnishes evidences of the purposed
+    faithfulness, more than usual scholarship, and remarkable
+    literary industry. It can not fail to be an important help to
+    those who wish to become better acquainted with the revealed
+    will of God. For these reasons I wish the enterprise of
+    publishing the work a great success."
+
+    From the Rev. JAMES L. HODGE, _Pastor of the First Mariners'
+    Baptist Church, N. Y._--"I have examined these sheets which you
+    design to be a specimen of the work, and have to confess myself
+    much pleased with the arrangement and ability of Mr. Wilson....
+    I can most cordially thank Mr. Wilson for his noble work, and
+    you, gentlemen, for your Christian enterprise in bringing the
+    work before the public. I believe the work will do good, and aid
+    the better understanding of the New Testament."
+
+    From Prof. H. MATTISON, _Pastor of Trinity Meth. Church, Jersey
+    City, N. J._--... "The plan of the work is admirable, and the
+    presence of the Greek text and interlinear version gives every
+    scholar a fair chance to test the version for himself, verse by
+    verse and word for word. I can not but believe that the work
+    will be valuable acquisition to the Biblical literature of the
+    country."
+
+    From A. A. LIVERMORE, D.D., _President of the Theological Sem.,
+    Meadville, Pa._--... "I welcome all efforts intelligently made
+    to popularize the results of criticism, and wish that this
+    little volume might be possessed by every clergyman and student
+    of the Scriptures in the country."
+
+    From Rev. C. LAREW, _Pastor of the Halsey St. Meth. Church,
+    Newark, N. J._--"'The Diaglott' has given me great pleasure. The
+    arrangement is a most excellent one, and the new version can not
+    fail to be of gratification and profit, especially to those
+    unacquainted with the original Greek. The translator has
+    certainly shown great genius in seizing upon the thought of the
+    original and a happy tact on presenting it."
+
+    From Rev. G. F. WARREN, _Pastor of the Worthen St. Church,
+    Lowell, Mass._--... "Am highly gratified with the thorough
+    manner in which he (the author) has done his work. If I mistake
+    not this translation will receive a cordial welcome from the
+    Christian public. It is just what every Christian needs. I
+    congratulate myself and others that such a valuable auxiliary to
+    the study of the Word of God is placed in our hands."
+
+We give sample pages of the work that every one may form a correct
+idea of the plan of publication. Sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price.
+
+Address all orders to FOWLER & WELLS CO. Publishers, 753 BROADWAY, NEW
+YORK.
+
+
+GOOD HEALTH BOOKS.
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD,
+
+    Or, Hygienic Cookery. By Susanna W. Dodds, M.D. One large 12mo
+    volume, 600 pages, extra cloth or oil-cloth binding, price
+    $2.00.
+
+    Undoubtedly the very best work on the preparation of food in a
+    healthful manner ever published, and one that should be in the
+    hands of all who would furnish their tables with food that is
+    wholesome and at the same time palatable, and will contribute
+    much toward Health in the Household.
+
+THE NATURAL CURE
+
+    Of Consumption, Constipation, Bright's Disease, Neuralgia,
+    Rheumatism, "Colds" (Fevers), Etc. How Sickness Originates and
+    How to Prevent it. A Health Manual for the People. By C. E.
+    Page. 1 vol. 12mo. 278 pp., ex. cloth, $1.00.
+
+    A new work with new ideas, both radical and reasonable,
+    appealing to the common-sense of the reader. This is not a new
+    work with old thoughts simply restated, but the most original
+    Health Manual published in many years. It is written in the
+    author's clear, attractive manner, and should be in the hands of
+    all who would either retain or regain their health, and keep
+    from the hands of the doctors.
+
+HOW TO FEED THE BABY,
+
+    To Make Her Healthy and Happy. With Health Hints. By C. E. Page,
+    M.D. Fourth Edition, Revised and Enlarged. 12mo, paper, 50
+    cents; extra cloth, 75 cts.
+
+    Dr. Page has devoted much attention to the subject, both in this
+    country and in Europe, noting the condition of children, and
+    then making careful inquiries as to the feeding, care, etc., and
+    this work is a special record of experience with his own child.
+    In addition to answering the question _what_ to feed the baby,
+    this volume tells _how_ to feed the baby, which is of equal
+    importance. There are many who are now following the author's
+    teaching with good results.
+
+HOW TO BE WELL;
+
+    Or, Common-Sense Medical Hygiene. A book for the people, giving
+    directions for the treatment and cure of acute diseases without
+    the use of drug medicines, also general hints on health. By M.
+    Augusta Fairchild, M.D. 12mo, cloth, $1.00.
+
+    We have here a new work on Hygiene containing the results of the
+    author's experience for many years in the treatment of acute and
+    chronic diseases with Hygienic agencies, and it will save an
+    incalculable amount of pain and suffering, as well as doctors'
+    bills, in every family where its simple directions are followed.
+
+DIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA.
+
+    A Complete Explanation of the Digestive Processes, with the
+    Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsia and other Disorders of the
+    Digestive Organs. Illustrated. By R. T. Trall, M.D. $1.00.
+
+    The latest and best work on the subject. With fifty
+    illustrations; showing with all possible fullness every process
+    of digestion, and giving all the causes, and directions for
+    treatment of Dyspepsia. The author gives the summary of the data
+    which he collected during an extensive practice of more than
+    twenty-five years, largely with patients who were suffering from
+    diseases caused by Dyspepsia and an impaired Digestion.
+
+THE MOTHER'S HYGIENIC HANDBOOK,
+
+    for the Normal Development and Training of Women and Children,
+    and the Treatment of their diseases with Hygienic agencies. By
+    the same author. $1.00.
+
+    The great experience and ability of the author enabled him to
+    give just that advice which mothers need so often all through
+    their lives. It covers the whole ground, and, if it be carefully
+    read, will go far towards giving us an "ENLIGHTENED MOTHERHOOD."
+    The work should be read by every wife and every woman who
+    contemplates marriage. Mothers may place it in the hands of
+    their daughters with words of commendation, and feel assured
+    they will be the better prepared for the responsibilities and
+    duties of married life and motherhood.
+
+Sent by mail, post-paid, to any address on receipt of price. Agents
+wanted. Address FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers. 753 Broadway, New
+York.
+
+
+THE WORKS OF NELSON SIZER.
+
+A Great Book for Young People
+
+"CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to Do and Why," describing Seventy-five
+Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required for
+each; with Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers and
+Workers By NELSON SIZER, Associate Editor of the "PHRENOLOGICAL
+JOURNAL," Vice President of, and Teacher in, the "American Institute
+of Phrenology," etc. 12mo, extra cloth. 508 pp. Price, $1.75.
+
+    This work fills a place attempted by no other. Whoever has to
+    earn a living by labor of head or hand, can not afford to do
+    without it.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "'CHOICE OF PURSUITS; or, What to do and Why' is a remarkable
+    book. The author has attained a deserved eminence as a
+    delineator of character. We have given it a careful reading and
+    feel warranted in saying that it is a book calculated to do a
+    vast deal of good."--_Boston Commonwealth._
+
+    "The title in startling, but it is indicative of the contents of
+    the book itself; the work is a desideratum."--_Inter-Ocean
+    (Chicago.)_
+
+    "It presents many judicious counsels. The main purpose of the
+    writer is to prevent mistakes in the choice of a profession. His
+    remarks on the different trades are often highly original. The
+    tendency of this volume is to increase the reader's respect for
+    human nature."--_New York Tribune._
+
+    "The design of this book is to indicate to every man his proper
+    work and to educate him for it"--_Albany Evening Journal._
+
+A New Book for Parents and Teachers.
+
+"HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT," or,
+Phrenology in the School-room and the Family.
+
+    With many Illustrations. 12mo, extra cloth, 351 pages. Price,
+    $1.50.
+
+    One of the greatest difficulties in the training of children
+    arises from not understanding their temperament and disposition.
+    This work points out clearly the constitutious differences, and
+    how to make the most of each.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "The purpose of this work is to aid parents and teachers to
+    understand the talents, dispositions, and temperaments of those
+    under their guidance. This opens a new field to the
+    consideration of the teacher. The text is attractive and a
+    valuable contribution to educational literature. It should be in
+    the library of every parent and teacher."--_New England Journal
+    of Education._
+
+    "This is an entirely new feature in a book intended for the use
+    of teachers, and must prove of great advantage to them. The text
+    is written in a manner which must attract every reader."--_The
+    Methodist._
+
+    "No teacher should neglect to read this well-written
+    contribution to the cause of education."--_Christian
+    Instructor._
+
+    "It abounds in valuable suggestions and counsels derived from
+    many years experience, which can not fail to be of service to
+    all who are engaged in the business of education. The subject is
+    treated in a plain, familiar manner, and adapted to reading in
+    the family as well as in the study of the teacher."--_New York
+    Tribune._
+
+    "There is a great deal of good sense in the work and all
+    teachers will be glad to welcome it."--_The Commonwealth_,
+    Boston.
+
+A NEW BOOK FOR EVERYBODY!
+
+FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY: Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdote, and Experience. 12mo, extra cloth, 413 pages. Price, $1.50.
+
+    In this work we have a most interesting record of the author's
+    recollections and experiences during more than forty years as a
+    Practical Phrenologist. The volume is filled with history,
+    anecdotes, and incidents, pathetic, witty, droll, and startling.
+    Every page sparkles with reality, and is packed with facts too
+    good to be lost. This book will be warmly welcomed by every
+    reader, from the boy of twelve to the sage of eighty years.
+
+THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and FREE LOVE
+EXPOSED. 12mo. Paper, 25 cents.
+
+    This work contains a sharp analysis of the social nature, in
+    some respects quite original. Sent by mail, post-paid, to any
+    address. Agents wanted. Address
+
+    FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+THE HUMAN VOICE.
+
+ITS ANATOMY, PHYSIOLOGY, PATHOLOGY, THERAPEUTICS, AND TRAINING, WITH RULES
+OF ORDER FOR LYCEUMS.
+
+    BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.
+
+    Paper, 50 Cents; Cloth, 75 Cents.
+
+    The work comprises, in a clear, concise form, directions for
+    strengthening and improving the voice, overcoming constitutional
+    difficulties, and repairing the abnormal conditions in the
+    organs of articulation as far as they can be remedied. The work
+    contains many illustrations, with full directions for vocal
+    culture and how gestures may become graceful. It contains, for
+    practice, some of the most popular selections, including the
+    best from Dickens, Henry Clay, Pope, and Bancroft, with Poe's
+    "Raven" and the "Bells;" also, "Sheridan's Ride." The chapter
+    devoted to rules of order for public meetings constitutes a
+    CHAIRMAN'S GUIDE, and with a list of debatable subjects, would
+    be considered worth the price of the book by many young men and
+    members of debating societies. Let every young man--and woman,
+    too--prepare themselves for speaking in public when occasion may
+    demand it.
+
+NOTICES.
+
+    All who desire to read and speak well, will find this book an
+    excellent guide.--_New England Journal of Education._
+
+    Any one who desires to improve his voice, should get a copy of
+    this new work. It is a safe guide for the use of all who aim to
+    become good readers and speakers.--_New York Weekly._
+
+    The work aims at a scientific and thorough treatment of the
+    subject.--_Daily Graphic._
+
+    This book supplies the greatest want of young persons entering
+    on their oratorical career.--_Rural New Yorker._
+
+    An excellent guide for those desiring to become good readers or
+    public speakers, for strengthening and improving the
+    voice.--_Publishers' Weekly._
+
+    A very useful treatise, practical in treatment, and popular in
+    form.--_Christian Intelligencer._
+
+    It will be an aid to teachers.--_National Teachers' Monthly._
+
+    It will be found a plain and intelligible guide in theory and
+    practice, to any who desire to improve or excel, and must rely
+    mainly on self-education.--_Christian Instructor, and West.
+    United Pres._
+
+    Agents wanted to sell this in High Schools, Colleges, etc. Sent
+    by mail, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address
+
+    FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers,
+    753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+A Choice of Premiums.
+
+The Phrenological Chart.
+
+    A handsome symbolical Head, made from new and special drawings
+    designed for the purpose. The pictorial illustrations show the
+    location of each of the phrenological organs and their natural
+    language. The Head is about twelve ins. wide, handsomely
+    lithographed in colors and on heavy plate paper 19 x 24 ins.,
+    properly mounted, with rings for hanging or may be framed, and
+    will be very attractive wherever it is seen. Price: $1.00. Is
+    given to the new subscribers, or the Bust Premium.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+The Phrenological Bust.
+
+    This Bust is made of Plaster of Paris, and so lettered as to
+    show the exact location of each of the Phrenological Organs. The
+    head is nearly life-size, and very ornamental, deserving a place
+    on the centre-table or mantel, in parlor, office or study. This,
+    with the illustrated key which accompanies each Bust, should be
+    in the hands of all who would know "HOW TO READ CHARACTER."
+    Price, $1.00, or given as a Premium to each new subscriber to
+    the JOURNAL or we will send the Chart Premium.
+
+THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL
+
+Is widely known in America and Europe, having been before the reading
+world fifty years, and occupying a place in literature exclusively its
+own, viz., the study of HUMAN NATURE in all its phases, including
+Phrenology, Physiognomy, Ethnology, Physiology, etc., together with
+the "SCIENCE OF HEALTH," and no expense will be spared to make it the
+best publication for general circulation, tending always to make men
+better physically, mentally, and morally. Parents and teachers should
+read the JOURNAL, that they may better know how to govern and train
+their children. Young people should read the JOURNAL, that they may
+make the most of themselves. It has long met with the hearty approval
+of the press and the people.
+
+    _N. Y. Times_ says: "THE PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL proves that the
+    increasing years of a periodical is no reason for its lessening
+    its enterprise or for diminishing its abundance of interesting
+    matter. If all magazines increased in merit as steadily as THE
+    PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL, they would deserve in time to show equal
+    evidences of popularity."
+
+    _Christian Union_ says: "It is well known as a popular
+    storehouse for useful thought. It teaches men to know themselves
+    and constantly presents matters of the highest interest to
+    intelligent readers, and has the advantage of having always been
+    not only up with the times, but a _little in advance_. Its
+    popularity shows the result of enterprise and brains."
+
+TERMS.--The JOURNAL is published monthly at $2.40 a year, or 20 cents
+a Number. To each new subscriber is given either the BUST or CHART
+Premium described above. When the Premiums are sent, 13 cents extra
+must be received with each subscription to pay postage on the JOURNAL
+and the expense of boxing and packing the Bust, which will be sent by
+express, or No. 2, a smaller size, or the Chart Premium, will be sent
+by mail, post-paid.
+
+Send amount to P. O. Orders, P. N., Drafts on New York, or in
+Registered Letters. Postage-stamps will be received. AGENTS WANTED.
+Send 10 cents for specimen Numbers, Premium List, Posters, etc.
+Address
+
+FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM
+
+A Complete Manual of Phrenology and Physiognomy for the People.
+
+    By PROF. NELSON SIZER, and H. S. DRAYTON, M.D.
+
+    Fully illustrated. Octavo, extra cloth, $1.00; paper edition, 40
+    cents.
+
+All claim to know something of _How to READ Character_, but very few
+understand all the _Signs of Character_ as shown in the _Head and
+Face_. The subject is one of great importance, and in this work the
+authors, Prof. Nelson Sizer, the phrenological examiner at the rooms
+of Fowler & Wells Co., and Dr. H. S. Drayton, the editor of the
+_Phrenological Journal_, have considered it from a practical
+standpoint, and the subject is so simplified as to be of great
+interest and easily understood.
+
+The demand for standard publications of low price has increased
+greatly with the tendency of many bookmakers to meet it. Popular
+editions of the poets, historians, scientists have fallen in line with
+the hundreds and thousands of cheap editions of the better classes of
+novels; and now, in response to the often-expressed want of the
+studious and curious, we have this voluminous yet very low-priced
+treatise on "Heads and Faces" from the point of view of Phrenology,
+Physiognomy, and Physiology. Although so low-priced, as we have noted
+above, it is no flimsy, patched-up volume, but a careful, honest work,
+replete with instruction, fresh in thought, suggestive and inspiring.
+There are nearly two hundred illustrations, exhibiting a great variety
+of faces, human and animal, and many other interesting features of the
+much-sided subject that is considered. Taken at length it is one of
+the most complete books on face-study that has been issued by its
+publishers, and is a book that must create a demand wherever it is
+seen. The style in which it has been produced, the excellent paper,
+good presswork, numerous illustrations, and elegant, engaging cover,
+make it a phenomenon even in this cheap book day. Sent by mail,
+post-paid, on receipt of price, 40 cts. AGENTS WANTED.
+
+Address, FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+A NEW BOOK.
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD; OR, HYGIENIC COOKERY.
+
+    By SUSANNA W. DODDS, M.D.
+
+    One large 12mo vol., 600 pp., extra cloth or oil-cloth. Price.
+    $2.00.
+
+The author of this work is specially qualified for her task, as she is
+both a physician and a practical housekeeper. It is unquestionably the
+best work written on the healthful preparation of food, and should be
+in the hands of every housekeeper who wishes to prepare food
+healthfully and palatably. The best way and the reason why are given.
+It is complete in every department. To show something of what is
+thought of this work we copy a few brief extracts from the many.
+
+NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
+
+    "This work contains a great deal of excellent advice about
+    wholesome food and gives directions for preparing many dishes in
+    a way that will make luxuries for the palate out of many simple
+    productions of Nature which are now lost by a vicious
+    cookery."--_Home Journal._
+
+    "Another book on cookery, and one that appears to be fully the
+    equal in all respects and superior to many of its predecessors.
+    Simplicity is sought to be blended with science, economy with
+    all the enjoyments of the table, and health and happiness with
+    an ample household liberally. Every purse and every taste will
+    find in Mrs. Dodds' book, material within its means of grasp for
+    efficient kitchen administration."--_N. Y. Star._
+
+    "The book can not fail to be of great value in every household
+    to those who will intelligently appreciate the author's
+    stand-point. And there are but few who will not concede that it
+    would be a public benefit if our people generally would become
+    better informed as to the better mode of living than the author
+    intends."--_Scientific American._
+
+    "She evidently knows what she is writing about, and her book is
+    eminently practical upon every page. It is more than a book of
+    recipes for making soups, and pies, and cake; it is a educator
+    of how to make the home the abode of healthful people."--_The
+    Daily Inter-Ocean_, Chicago, Ill.
+
+    "The book is a good one, and should be given a place in every
+    well-regulated _cuisine_."--_Indianapolis Journal._
+
+    "As a comprehensive work on the subject of healthful cookery,
+    there is no other in print which is superior, and which brings
+    the subject so clearly and squarely to the understanding of an
+    average housekeeper."--_Methodist Recorder._
+
+    "In this book Dr. Dodds deals with the whole subject
+    scientifically, and yet has made her instructions entirely
+    practical. This book will certainly prove useful, and if its
+    precepts could be universally followed, without doubt human life
+    would be considerably lengthened."--_Springfield Union._
+
+    "Here is a cook-book prepared by an educated lady physician. It
+    seems to be a very sensible addition to the voluminous
+    literature on this subject, which ordinarily has little
+    reference to the hygienic character of the preparations which
+    are described."--_Zion's Herald._
+
+    "This one seems to us to be most sensible and practical, while
+    yet based upon scientific principles--in short, the best. If it
+    were in every household, there would be far less misery in the
+    world."--_South and West._
+
+    "There is much good sense in the book, and there is plenty of
+    occasion for attacking the ordinary methods of cooking, as well
+    as the common style of diet."--_Morning Star._
+
+    "She sets forth the why and wherefore of cookery, and devotes
+    the larger portion of the work to those articles essential to
+    good blood, strong bodies, and vigorous minds."--_New Haven
+    Register._
+
+The work will be sent to any address, by mail, post-paid, on receipt
+of price, $2.00. AGENTS WANTED, to whom special terms will be given.
+Send for terms. Address
+
+FOWLER & WELLS CO., Publishers, 753 Broadway, New York.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Names of the Faculties.
+
+   1. AMATIVENESS.--Connubial love, affection.
+   A. CONJUGAL LOVE.--Union for life, pairing instinct.
+   2. PARENTAL LOVE.--Care of offspring, and all young.
+   3. FRIENDSHIP.--Sociability, union of friends.
+   4. INHABITIVENESS.--Love of home and country.
+   5. CONTINUITY.--Application, consecutiveness.
+   A. VITATIVENESS.--Clinging to life, tenacity.
+   6. COMBATIVENESS. Defense, courage.
+   7. DESTRUCTIVENESS.--Executiveness.
+   8. ALIMENTIVENESS.--Appetite for food, etc.
+   9. ACQUISITIVENESS.--Frugality, economy.
+  10. SECRETIVENESS.--Self-control, policy.
+  11. CAUTIOUSNESS.--Guardedness, safety.
+  12. APPROBATIVENESS.--Love of applause.
+  13. SELF-ESTEEM.--Self-respect, dignity.
+  14. FIRMNESS.--Stability, perseverance.
+  15. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.--Sense of right.
+  16. HOPE.--Expectation, anticipation.
+  17. SPIRITUALITY.--Intuition, prescience.
+  18. VENERATION.--Worship, adoration.
+  19. BENEVOLENCE.--Sympathy, kindness.
+  20. CONSTRUCTIVENESS.--Ingenuity, tools.
+  21. IDEALITY.--_Taste_, love of beauty, poetry.
+   B. SUBLIMITY.--Love of the grand, vast.
+  22. IMITATION.--Copying, aptitude.
+  23. MIRTH.--Fun, wit, ridicule, facetiousness.
+  24. INDIVIDUALITY.--Observation, to see.
+  25. FORM.--Memory, _shape_, looks, persons.
+  26. SIZE.--Measurement of quantity.
+  27. WEIGHT.--Control of motion, balancing.
+  28. COLOR.--Discernment, and love of color.
+  29. ORDER.--_Method_, system, going by _rule_.
+  30. CALCULATION.--Mental arithmetic.
+  31. LOCALITY.--Memory of place, position.
+  32. EVENTUALITY.--Memory of facts, events.
+  33. TIME.--Telling _when_, time of day, dates.
+  34. TUNE.--Love of music, singing.
+  35. LANGUAGE.--_Expression_ by words, acts.
+  36. CAUSALITY.--_Planning_, thinking.
+  37. COMPARISON.--Analysis, inferring.
+   C. HUMAN NATURE.--Sagacity.
+   D. SUAVITY.--_Pleasantness_, blandness.
+
+For complete definitions of all the organs of the BRAIN, and the
+features of the FACE, see New Physiognomy by S. R. WELLS, with 1,000
+Illustrations. Price, post-paid, $5, $8, and $10, according to styles
+of binding.
+
+
+"EDUCATION COMPLETE."
+
+Education and Self-Improvement Complete.--Comprising
+Physiology--Animal and Mental: Self-Culture and Perfection of
+Character: including the Management of Youth: Memory and Intellectual
+Improvement. Complete in one large, well-bound 12mo volume, with 855
+pp., and upward Seventy Engravings. Price, pre-paid, by mail. $3
+
+This work is, in all respects, one of the best educational hand-books
+in the English language. Any system of education that neglects the
+training and developing all that goes to make up a MAN, must
+necessarily be incomplete. The mind and body are so intimately related
+and connected that it is impossible to cultivate the former without it
+is properly supplemented by the latter. The work is subdivided into
+three departments--the first devoted to the preservation and
+restoration of health and the improvement of mentality; the second to
+the regulation of the feelings and perfection of the moral character;
+and the third, to the intellectual cultivation. "EDUCATION COMPLETE"
+is a library in itself, and covers the ENTIRE NATURE OF MAN. We append
+below a synopsis of the table of contents:
+
+HEALTH OF BODY AND POWER OF MIND.
+
+    PHYSIOLOGY--ANIMAL AND MENTAL HEALTH--ITS LAWS AND PRESERVATION.
+    Happiness constitutional; Pain not necessary; Object of all
+    Education; Reciprocation existing between Body and Mind; Health
+    defined; Sickness--not providential.
+
+    FOOD--ITS NECESSITY AND SELECTION.--Unperverted Appetite an
+    Infallible Directory; Different Diets Feed Different Powers; How
+    to Eat--or Mastication. Quantity, Time, etc.; How Appetite can
+    be Restrained; The Digestive Process; Exercise after Meals.
+
+    CIRCULATION, RESPIRATION, PERSPIRATION, SLEEP.--The Heart, its
+    Structure and Office; The Circulatory System; The Lungs, their
+    Structure and Functions; Respiration, and its importance;
+    Perspiration; Prevention and Cure of Colds, and their
+    consequences; Regulation of Temperature by Fire and Clothing;
+    Sleep.
+
+    THE BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM.--Position, Function, and Structure
+    of the Brain; Consciousness or the seat of the soul; Function of
+    the Nerves; How to seep the Nervous system in Health; The Remedy
+    of Diseases; Observance of the Laws of Health Effectual; The
+    Drink of Dyspeptics--its kind, times and quantity; Promotion of
+    Circulation; Consumption--its Prevention and Cure; Preventives
+    of Insanity, etc.
+
+SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER.
+
+    CONSTITUENT ELEMENTS OR CONDITIONS OF PERFECTION OF
+    CHARACTER--Progression a Law of Things--its application to human
+    improvement; Human perfectibility,--the harmonious action of all
+    the faculties; Governing the propensities by the intellectual
+    and moral faculties. Proof that the organs can be enlarged and
+    diminished; The proper management of Youth, etc.
+
+    ANALYSIS AND MEANS OF STRENGTHENING OF THE
+    FACULTIES.--Amativeness; Philoprogenitiveness; Adhesiveness;
+    Union for Life; Inhabitiveness; Continuity; Vitativeness;
+    Combativeness; Destructiveness, or Executiveness;
+    Alimentiveness; Aquativeness, or Bibativeness; Acquisitiveness;
+    Secretiveness; Cautiousness; Approbativeness; Self-Esteem;
+    Firmness. Conscientiousness; Hope; Spirituality--Marvelousness;
+    Veneration; Benevolence; Constructiveness; Ideality; Sublimity;
+    Initiation; Mirthfulness; Agreeableness--with engraved
+    illustrations.
+
+MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT APPLIED TO SELF-EDUCATION.
+
+    CLASSIFICATION AND FUNCTION OF THE FACULTIES.--Man's
+    superiority; Intellect his crowning endowment; How to strengthen
+    and improve the Memory; Definition, location, analysis, and
+    means of the strengthening the intellectual faculties.
+    INDIVIDUALITY. FORM. SIZE. WEIGHT. COLOR. ORDER. CALCULATION.
+    LOCALITY. EVENTUALITY. TIME. TUNE: Influence of Music. LANGUAGE:
+    Power of Eloquence & Good Language. PHONOGRAPHY: its advantages.
+    CAUSALITY: Teaching others to think; Astronomy; Anatomy and
+    Physiology; Study of Nature. COMPARISON: Inductive reasoning.
+    HUMAN NATURE: Adaptation.
+
+    DEVELOPMENTS REQUIRING FOR PARTICULAR AVOCATIONS.--Good
+    Teachers; Clergymen; Physician; Lawyers; Statesmen; Editors;
+    Authors; Public Speakers; Poets; Lecturers; Merchants;
+    Mechanics; Artists; Painters; Farmers; Engineers; Landlords;
+    Printers; Milliners; Seamstresses; Fancy Workers, and the like.
+
+    Full and explicit directions are given for the cultivation and
+    direction of all the powers of the mind, instruction for finding
+    the exact location of each organ, and its relative size compared
+    with others.
+
+
+WORKS PUBLISHED BY FOWLER & WELLS CO., New York.
+
+
+PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOGNOMY.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL AND SCIENCE OF HEALTH--Devoted to Ethnology,
+Physiology, Phrenology, Physiognomy, Psychology, Sociology, Biography,
+Education, Literature, etc., with Measures to Reform, Elevate and
+Improve Mankind Physically, Mentally and Spiritually. Monthly, $2.00 a
+year; 20c. a number. Bound vols. $3.00
+
+EXPRESSION: ITS ANATOMY AND PHILOSOPHY. Illustrated by Sir Charles
+Bell. Additional Notes and Illustrations by SAMUEL R. WELLS. $1.
+
+EDUCATION OF THE FEELINGS AND AFFECTIONS. Charles Bray. Edited by
+NELSON SIZER. Cloth, $1.50.
+
+     This work gives full and definite directions for the
+     cultivation or restraining of all the faculties relating to the
+     feelings or affections.
+
+COMBE'S SYSTEM OF PHRENOLOGY; With 100 Engravings. $1.25.
+
+COMBE'S CONSTITUTION OF MAN; Considered in Relation to external
+objects. With twenty engravings, and portrait of author. $1.25.
+
+     The "Constitution of Man" is a work with which every teacher
+     and every pupil should be acquainted.
+
+COMBE'S LECTURES ON PHRENOLOGY; with Notes, an Essay on the
+Phrenological Mode of Investigation, and an Historical Sketch, by
+A. BOARDMAN, M.D. $1.25.
+
+COMBE'S MORAL PHILOSOPHY; or, the Duties of Man considered in his
+Individual, Domestic, and Social Capacities. $1.25.
+
+HOW TO STUDY CHARACTER; OR, THE TRUE BASIS FOR THE SCIENCE OF MIND.
+Including a Review of Bain's Criticism of Phrenology. By Thos. A.
+Hyde. 50c.; clo. $1.00.
+
+NEW DESCRIPTIVE CHART, for the Use of examiners in the Delineation of
+Character. By S. R. Wells. 25c.
+
+NEW PHYSIOGNOMY; OR SIGNS OF CHARACTER, as manifested through
+Temperament and External Forms, and especially in the "Human Face
+Divine." With more than One Thousand Illustrations. By Samuel R.
+Wells. In one 12mo volume, 768 pages, muslin, $5.00; in heavy calf,
+marbled edges, $8.00; Turkey morocco, full gilt, $10.00.
+
+     "The treatise of Mr. Wells, which is admirably printed and
+     profusely illustrated, is probably the most complete hand-book
+     upon the subject in the language."--_N. Y. Tribune._
+
+HOW TO READ CHARACTER.--A new illustrated Hand-book of Phrenology and
+Physiognomy, for Students and Examiners, with a chart for recording
+the sizes of the different Organs of the brain in the Delineation of
+Character; with upward of 170 Engravings. By S. R. Wells. $1.25.
+
+WEDLOCK; OR, THE RIGHT RELATIONS OF THE SEXES. Disclosing the Laws of
+Conjugal Selection, and showing Who May Marry. By S. R. Wells. $1.50;
+gilt, $2.00.
+
+BRAIN AND MIND; or Mental Science Considered in Accordance with the
+Principles of Phrenology and in Relation to Modern Physiology. H. S.
+DRAYTON M.D., AND J. MCNEILL. $1.50.
+
+     This is the latest and best work published. It constitutes a
+     complete text-book of Phrenology, is profusely illustrated, and
+     will adapted to the use of students.
+
+INDICATIONS OF CHARACTER, as manifested in the general shape of the
+head and form of the face. H. S. DRAYTON, M.D. Illus. 25c.
+
+HOW TO STUDY PHRENOLOGY.--With Suggestions to Students, Lists of Best
+Works, Constitutions for Societies, etc. 12mo, paper, 10c.
+
+CHOICE OF PURSUITS: OR, WHAT TO DO AND WHY. Describing Seventy-five
+Trades and Professions, and the Temperaments and Talents required for
+each. With Portraits and Biographies of many successful Thinkers and
+Workers. By Nelson Sizer. $1.75.
+
+HOW TO TEACH ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENT AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT; or,
+Phrenology in the Schoolroom and the Family. By Nelson Sizer.
+Illustrated. $1.50.
+
+FORTY YEARS IN PHRENOLOGY.--Embracing Recollections of History,
+Anecdotes and Experience. $1.50.
+
+THOUGHTS ON DOMESTIC LIFE; or, Marriage Vindicated and Free Love
+Exposed. 25c.
+
+CATHECHISM OF PHRENOLOGY.--Illustrating the Principles of the Science
+by means of Questions and Answers. Revised and enlarged by Nelson
+Sizer. 50c.
+
+HEADS AND FACES: HOW TO STUDY THEM. A Complete Manual of Phrenology
+and Physiognomy for the People. By Prof. Nelson Sizer and H. S.
+Drayton, M.D. Nearly 200 octavo pages and 200 illustrations, price in
+paper, 40c.; ex. clo. $1.00.
+
+     All claim to know something of How to Read Character but very
+     few understand all the Signs of Character as shown in the Head
+     and Face. This is a study of which one never tires; it is
+     always fresh, for you have always new text books. The book is
+     really a great Album of Portraits, and will be found of
+     interest for the illustrations alone.
+
+MEMORY AND INTELLECTUAL IMPROVEMENT, applied to Self-Education and
+Juvenile Instruction. By O. S. FOWLER. $1.00.
+
+     The best work on the subject.
+
+HEREDITARY DESCENT.--Its Laws and Facts applied to Human Improvement.
+By O. S Fowler. Illustrated. $1.00.
+
+THE SCIENCE OF THE MIND APPLIED TO TEACHING: Including the Human
+Temperaments and their influence upon the Mind; The Analysis of the
+Mental Faculties and how to develop and train them; The Theory of
+Education and of the School, and Normal Methods of teaching the common
+English branches. By Prof. U. J. HOFFMAN. Profusely illustrated.
+$1.50.
+
+REMINISCENCES OF DR. SPURZHEIM AND GEORGE COMBE and a Review of the
+Science of Phrenology from the period of its discovery by Dr. GALI to
+the time of the visit of GEORGE COMBE to the United States, with a
+portrait of Dr. SPURZHEIM, by NAHEM CAPEN, LL.D. Ex. clo. $1.25.
+
+EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT COMPLETE: Comprising "Physiology,
+Animal and Mental," "Self-culture and Perfection of Character,"
+"Memory and Intellectual Improvement." By O. S. FOWLER. One large vol.
+Illus. $3.00.
+
+SELF-CULTURE AND PERFECTION OF CHARACTER; Including the Management of
+Children and Youth. $1.00.
+
+     One of the best of the author's works.
+
+PHYSIOLOGY, ANIMAL AND MENTAL: Applied to the Preservation and
+Restoration of Health of Body and Power of Mind. $1.00.
+
+PHRENOLOGY PROVED, ILLUSTRATED AND APPLIED. Embracing an Analysis of
+the Primary Mental Powers in their Various Degrees of Development, and
+location of the Phrenological Organs. The Mental Phenomena produced by
+their combined action, and the location of the faculties amply
+illustrated. By the Fowler Brothers. $1.25.
+
+SELF-INSTRUCTOR IN PHRENOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY. With over One Hundred
+Engravings and a Chart for Phrenologists, for the Recording of
+Phrenological Development. By the Fowler Brothers. 75c.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL MISCELLANY OF ILLUSTRATED ANNUALS OF PHRENOLOGY AND
+PHYSIOGNOMY, from 1865 to 1873 combined in one volume containing over
+400 illustrations, many portraits and biographies of distinguished
+personages. $1.50
+
+REDFIELD'S COMPARATIVE PHYSIOGNOMY; or resemblances Between Men and
+Animals, Illustrated. $2.50
+
+PHRENOLOGY AND THE SCRIPTURES.--Showing the Harmony between Phrenology
+and the Bible. 15 cents.
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL CHART. A symbolical Head 12 inches across, Lithographed
+in colors, on paper 19 x 24 inches, mounted for hanging on the wall,
+or suitable for framing. $1.00
+
+EDUCATION: ITS ELEMENTARY PRINCIPLES FOUNDED ON THE NATURE OF MAN. By
+J. G. Spurzheim, $1.25
+
+NATURAL LAWS OF MAN.--A Philosophical Catechism. Sixth Edition.
+Enlarged and improved by J. G. Spurzheim, M.D. 50 cents.
+
+LECTURES ON MENTAL SCIENCE.--According to the philosophy of
+Phrenology. Delivered before the Anthropological Society. By Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. Illustrated. $1.00
+
+PHRENOLOGICAL BUST.--Showing the latest classification and exact
+location of the Organs of the Brain. It is divided so as to show each
+individual Organ on one side; with all the groups Social, Executive,
+Intellectual and Moral, classified on the other. Large size (not
+mailable) $1. Small 50 cents.
+
+
+WORKS ON MAGNETISM.
+
+    There is an increasing interest in the facts relating to
+    Magnetism, etc., and we present below a list of Works on this
+    subject.
+
+LIBRARY OF MESMERISM AND PSYCHOLOGY.--Comprising the Philosophy of
+Mesmerism, Clairvoyance, Mental Electricity.--FASCINATION, or the
+Power of Charming. Illustrating the Principles of Life in connection
+with Spirit and Matter.--THE MACROCOSM or the Universe Without, being
+an unfolding of the plan of Creation and the Correspondence of
+Truths.--THE PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY; the Doctrine of
+impressions, including the connection between Mind and Matter, also,
+the Treatment of Diseases.--PSYCHOLOGY or the Science of the Soul,
+considered Physiologically and Philosophically; with an Appendix
+containing Notes of Mesmeric and Psychical experience and
+Illustrations of the Brain and Nervous System. $3.50.
+
+PHILOSOPHY OF MESMERISM.--By Dr. John Bovee Dods. 50 cents.
+
+PHILOSOPHY OF ELECTRICAL PSYCHOLOGY. A course of Twelve Lectures.
+$1.00
+
+PRACTICAL INSTRUCTIONS IN ANIMAL MAGNETISM. By J. P. F. Deleuze.
+Translated by Thomas C. Hartshorn. New and Revised edition, with an
+appendix of notes by the Translator and Letters from Eminent
+Physicians and others. $2.00
+
+HISTORY OF SALEM WITCHCRAFT.--A review of Charles W. Upham's great
+Work from the _Edinburgh Review_, with Notes by Samuel R. Wells
+containing also, The Planchette Mystery, Spiritualism, by Mrs. Harriet
+Beecher Stowe, and Dr. Doddridge's Dream. $1.00
+
+FASCINATION: OR, THE PHILOSOPHY OF CHARMING. Illustrating the
+Principles of Life in connection with Spirit and Matter. By J. B.
+Newman, M.D. $1.00
+
+HOW TO MAGNETIZE, OR MAGNETISM AND CLAIRVOYANCE.--A Practical Treatise
+on the Choice, Management and Capabilities of Subjects, with
+Instructions on the Method of Procedure. By J. V. Wilson. 25c.
+
+
+HEALTH BOOKS.
+
+_This List Comprises the Best Works on Hygiene, Health, Etc._
+
+HEALTH IN THE HOUSEHOLD OR HYGIENIC COOKERY; by Susanna W. Dodds, M.D.
+12mo. ex. clo. $2.00.
+
+     A novice in housekeeping will not be puzzled by this admirable
+     book, it is so simple, systematic, practical and withal
+     productive of much household pleasure, not only by means of the
+     delicious food prepared from its recipes, but through the
+     saving of labor and care to the housewife.
+
+HOUSEHOLD REMEDIES.--For the prevalent Disorders of the Human
+Organism, by Felix Oswald, M.D. 12mo. pp. 229 $1.00.
+
+     The author of this work is one of the keenest and most critical
+     writers on medical subjects now before the public. He writes
+     soundly and practically. He is an enthusiastic apostle of the
+     gospel of hygiene. We predict that his book will win many
+     converts to the faith and prove a valuable aid to those who are
+     already of the faith but are asking for "more light."
+
+     Among the special ailments herein considered are Consumption,
+     Asthma, Dyspepsia, Climatic Fevers, Enteric Disorders, Nervous
+     Maladies, Catarrh, Pleurisy, etc.
+
+THE TEMPERAMENTS, OR VARIETIES OF PHYSICAL CONSTITUTION IN MAN,
+considered in their relation to Mental Character and Practical Affairs
+of Life. With an Introduction by H. S. Drayton, A. M. Editor of the
+PHRENOLOGICAL JOURNAL. 150 Portraits and other illustrations, by D. H.
+Jacques, M.D. $1.50.
+
+HOW TO GROW HANDSOME, OR HINTS TOWARD PHYSICAL PERFECTION and the
+Philosophy of Human Beauty, showing How to Acquire and Retain Bodily
+Symmetry, Health and Vigor, secure long life and avoid the infirmities
+and deformities of age. New Edition, $1.00.
+
+MEDICAL ELECTRICITY.--A Manual for Students, showing the most
+Scientific and Rational Application to all forms of Diseases, of the
+different combinations of Electricity, Galvanism, Electro-Magnetism.
+Magneto-Electricity, and Human Magnetism, by W. White, M.D. $1.50.
+
+THE MAN WONDERFUL IN THE HOUSE BEAUTIFUL.--An allegory teaching the
+Principles of Physiology and Hygiene, and the effects of Stimulants
+and Narcotics, by Drs. C. B. and Mary A. Allen. $1.50.
+
+     To all who enjoy studies pertaining to the human body this book
+     will prove a boon. The accomplished physician, the gentle
+     mother, the modest girl, and the wide-awake school-boy will
+     find pleasure in its perusal. It is wholly unlike any book
+     previously published on the subject, and is such a thorough
+     teacher that progressive parents cannot afford to do without
+     it.
+
+THE FAMILY PHYSICIAN.--A Ready Prescriber and Hygienic Advisor With
+Reference to the Nature, Causes, Prevention and Treatment of Diseases,
+Accidents and Casualties of every kind with a Glossary and copious
+index. Illustrated with nearly three hundred engravings, by Joel Shaw,
+M.D. $3.
+
+HOW TO FEED THE BABY TO MAKE HER HEALTHY AND HAPPY, by C. E. Page, M.D.
+12mo. third edition, revised and enlarged. Paper, 50c. extra cloth.
+75c.
+
+     This is the most important work ever published on the subject
+     of infant dietetics.
+
+THE NATURAL CURE OF CONSUMPTION, Constipation, Bright's Disease,
+Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Colds, Fevers, etc. How these Disorders
+Originate and How to Prevent Them. By C. E. Page, M.D. cloth, $1.00
+
+HORSES, THEIR FEED AND THEIR FEET. A Manual of Horse Hygiene.
+Invaluable to the veteran or the novice, pointing out the true sources
+of disease, and how to prevent and counteract them. By C. E. Page,
+M.D. Paper 50c.; cloth 75c.
+
+     This is the best book on the care of horses ever published,
+     worth many times its cost to every horse owner.
+
+THE MOVEMENT CURE.--The History and Philosophy, of this System of
+Medical Treatment, with examples of Single Movements, The Principles
+of Massage, and directions for their Use in various Forms of Chronic
+Diseases. New edition by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.50.
+
+MASSAGE.--Giving the Principles and directions for its application in
+all Forms of Chronic Diseases, by G. H. Taylor, M.D. $1.00
+
+THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE.--By John Cowan, M.D. Ex. clo. $3.00.
+
+TOBACCO: ITS PHYSICAL, INTELLECTUAL AND MORAL EFFECTS ON THE HUMAN
+SYSTEM, by Dr. Alcott. New and revised edition with notes and
+additions by N. Sizer. 25c.
+
+SOBER AND TEMPERATE LIFE.--The Discourses and Letters of Louis Corbaro
+on a Sober and Temperate Life. 50c.
+
+SMOKING AND DRINKING. By James Parton. 50c.; cloth. 75c.
+
+FOOD AND DIET. With observations on the Dietetical Regimen, suited for
+Disordered States of the Digestive Organs, by J. Pereira, M.D., F.R.S.
+$1.50.
+
+PRINCIPLES APPLIED TO THE PRESERVATION OF HEALTH and the improvement
+of Physical and Mental Education, by Andrew Combe, M.D. Illustrated,
+cloth, $1.50.
+
+WATER CURE IN CHRONIC DISEASES. An Exposition of the Causes, Progress,
+and Termination of various Chronic Diseases of the Digestive Organs,
+Lungs, Nerves. Limbs and Skin, and of their Treatment by Water and
+other hygienic Means. By J. M. Gully, M.D. $1.25.
+
+SCIENCE OF HUMAN LIFE. With a copious Index and Biographical Sketch of
+the author, Sylvester Graham. Illustrated, $3.00.
+
+MANAGEMENT OF INFANCY, PHYSIOLOGICAL AND MORAL TREATMENT. With Notes
+and a Supplementary Chapter. $1.25.
+
+DIET QUESTION.--Giving the Reason Why, from "Health in the Household."
+by S. W. Dodds, M.D. 25c.
+
+HEALTH MISCELLANY.--An important collection of Health Papers. Nearly
+100 octavo pages. 25c.
+
+HOW TO BE WELL, OR COMMON SENSE MEDICAL HYGIENE. A book for the
+People, giving directions for the Treatment and Cure of Acute Diseases
+without the use of Drug Medicines; also General Hints on Health. $1.00
+
+FOREORDAINED.--A Story of Heredity and of Special Paternal Influences,
+by an Observer. 12mo. pp. 90. Paper, 50c.; extra cloth, 75c.
+
+CONSUMPTION, its Prevention and Cure by the Movement Cure. 25c.
+
+NOTES ON BEAUTY, VIGOR AND DEVELOPMENT; or, How to Acquire Plumpness
+of Form, Strength of Limb and Beauty of Complexion. Illustrated. 10c.
+
+TEA AND COFFEE.--Their Physical, Intellectual and Moral Effects on the
+Human System, by Dr. Alcott. NEW and revised edition with notes and
+additions by Nelson Sizer. 25c.
+
+ACCIDENTS AND EMERGENCIES, a guide containing Directions for the
+Treatment in Bleeding, Cuts. Sprains, Ruptures, Dislocations. Burns
+and Scalds. Bites of Mad Dogs. Choking, Poisons, Fits, Sunstrokes,
+Drowning, etc., by Alfred Smee, with Notes and additions by R. T.
+Trall, M.D. New and revised edition. 25c.
+
+SPECIAL LIST.--We have in addition to the above, Private Medical Works
+and Treatises. This Special List will be sent on receipt of stamp.
+
+
+WORKS ON HYGIENE BY R. T. TRALL, M.D.
+
+_These works may be considered standard from the reformatory hygienic
+standpoint. Thousands of people owe their lives and good health to
+their teaching._
+
+HYDROPATHIC ENCYCLOPEDIA.--A System of Hydropathy and Hygiene.
+Physiology of the Human Body; Dietetics and Hydropathic Cookery;
+Theory and Practice of Water Treatment; Special Pathology and
+Hydro-Therapeutics, including the Nature, Causes, Symptoms and
+Treatment of all known diseases; Application of Hydropathy to
+Midwifery and the Nursery with nearly One Thousand Pages including a
+Glossary. 2 vols. in one $4.
+
+HYGIENIC HAND-BOOK.--Intended as a Practical Guide for the Sick-room.
+Arranged alphabetically. $1.25.
+
+ILLUSTRATED FAMILY GYMNASIUM.--Containing the most improved methods of
+applying Gymnastic, Callisthenic, Kinesipathic and Vocal Exercises to
+the Development of the Bodily Organs, the invigoration of their
+functions, the preservation of Health and the Cure of Diseases and
+Deformities. $1.25.
+
+THE HYDROPATHIC COOK-BOOK, with Recipes for Cooking on Hygienic
+Principles. Containing also a Philosophical Exposition of the
+Relations of Food to Health, the Chemical Elements and Proximate
+Constitution of Alimentary Principles; the Nutritive Properties of all
+kinds of Aliments; the Relative value of Vegetable and Animal
+Substances; the Selection and Preservation of Dietetic Material, etc.
+$1.00.
+
+FRUITS AND FARINACEA: THE PROPER FOOD OF MAN.--Being an attempt to
+prove by History, Anatomy, Physiology and Chemistry that the Original,
+Natural and Best Diet of Man is derived from the Vegetable Kingdom. By
+John Smith. With Notes by Trall. $1.25.
+
+DIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA.--A Complete Explanation of the Physiology of
+the Digestive Processes, with the Symptoms and Treatment of Dyspepsia
+and other Disorders. Illustrated. $1.00.
+
+THE MOTHER'S HYGIENE HAND-BOOK for the Normal Development and Training
+of Women and Children, and the Treatment of their Diseases. $1.00.
+
+POPULAR PHYSIOLOGY.--A Familiar Exposition of the Structures,
+Functions and Relations of the Human System and the Preservation of
+Health. $1.25.
+
+THE TRUE TEMPERANCE PLATFORM.--An Exposition of the Fallacy of
+Alcoholic Medication. 50 cents.
+
+THE ALCOHOLIC CONTROVERSY.--A Review of the _Westminster Review_ on
+the Physiological Errors of Teetotalism. 50 cents.
+
+THE HUMAN VOICE.--Its Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, Therapeutics and
+Training, with Rules of Order for Lyceums. 50 cents.
+
+THE TRUE HEALING ART: OR HYGIENIC _VS._ DRUG MEDICATION. An Address
+delivered before the Smithsonian Institute, Washington. D. C. 25 cts.;
+clo., 50 cents.
+
+WATER-CURE FOR THE MILLION.--The processes of Water Cure Explained.
+Rules for Bathing, Dieting, Exercising, Recipes for Cooking, etc.,
+etc. Directions for Home Treatment. Paper. 15 cts.
+
+HYGEIAN HOME COOK-BOOK: OR HEALTHFUL AND PALATABLE FOOD WITHOUT
+CONDIMENTS. 25 cts. clo., 50 cents.
+
+DISEASES OF THROAT AND LUNGS.--Including Diphtheria and its Proper
+Treatment. 25 cents.
+
+THE BATH.--Its History and Uses in Health and Disease. 35c.; clo.,
+50c.
+
+A HEALTH CATECHISM.--Questions and Answers. With Illus. 10 c.
+
+
+MISCELLANEOUS WORKS.
+
+HAND-BOOKS FOR HOME IMPROVEMENT (EDUCATIONAL); comprising, "How to
+Write," "How to Talk," "How to Behave," and "How to do Business." One
+12mo vol. $2.00.
+
+HOW TO WRITE.--A manual of Composition and Letter-Writing. 60c.
+
+HOW TO TALK.--A Pocket Manual of Conversation and Debate, more than
+Five Hundred Common Mistakes in Speaking Corrected. 60c.
+
+HOW TO BEHAVE.--A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette and Guide to
+Correct Personal Habits with Rules for Debating Societies and
+Deliberative Assemblies. 60c.
+
+HOW TO DO BUSINESS.--A Manual of Practical Affairs and a Guide to
+Success in Life, with a Collection of Legal and Commercial Forms. 60c.
+
+HOW TO READ.--What and Why; or Hints in Choosing the Best Books, with
+a Classified List of Best Works in Biography, Criticism, Fine Arts,
+History, Novels, Poetry, Science, Religion, Foreign Languages, etc. By
+A. V. Petit. Cloth, 60c.
+
+HOW TO SING; or, the Voice and How to Use it. By William H. Daniell.
+50c.; clo. 75c.
+
+HOW TO CONDUCT A PUBLIC MEETING; or the Chairman's Guide for
+Conducting Meetings. 15c.
+
+HOPES AND HELPS FOR THE YOUNG OF BOTH SEXES.--Relating to the
+Formation of Character, Choice of Avocation, Health, Amusement, Music,
+Conversation, Social Affections, Courtship and Marriage, by Rev G. S.
+Weaver. $1.00
+
+AIMS AND AIDS FOR GIRLS AND YOUNG WOMEN, on the Various Duties of
+Life. Including Physical, Intellectual and Moral Development, Dress,
+Beauty, Fashion, Employment, Education, the Home Relations, their
+Duties to Young Men, Marriage, Womanhood and Happiness, by the same
+$1.00.
+
+WAYS OF LIFE, showing the Right Way and the Wrong Way Contrasting the
+High Way and the Low Way; the True Way and the False Way; the Upward
+Way and the Downward Way; the Way of Honor and of Dishonor, by Rev. G.
+S. Weaver. 75c.
+
+THE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD.--Embracing the Husband, Wife, Father, Mother,
+Child, Brother and Sister, by Rev. G. S. Weaver. 75c.
+
+WEAVER'S WORKS FOR THE YOUNG, Comprising "Hopes and Helps for the
+Young of Both Sexes," "Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women," "Ways
+of Life; or, the Right Way and the Wrong Way." One Vol. 12mo. $2.50
+
+A NATURAL SYSTEM OF ELOCUTION AND ORATORY.--Founded on an analysis of
+the Human Constitution, considered in its threefold Nature, Mental,
+Physiological and Expressional. By THOS. A. HYDE and WM. HYDE.
+Illustrated. $2.50.
+
+THE EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT, CONTAINING THE ORIGINAL GREEK TEXT OF THE NEW
+TESTAMENT, with an interlineary Word-for-Word English Translation: a
+New Emphatic Version based on the Interlineary Translation, on the
+Readings of the Vatican Manuscript, by Benjamin Wilson. 884 pp. $4.00.
+ex., $5.00.
+
+A BACHELOR'S TALKS ABOUT MARRIED LIFE AND THINGS ADJACENT, by Rev.
+William Aikman, D.D. $1.50
+
+LIFE AT HOME; or The Family and its members. Including Husbands and
+Wives, Parents, Children, Brothers, Sisters, Employers and Employed.
+The Altar in the House. By Dr. Aikman. $1.50. gilt. $2.00.
+
+A LUCKY WAIF.--A story for Mothers, of Home and School Life, by Ellen
+E. Kenyon. 12mo. $1.00.
+
+ORATORY--SACRED AND SECULAR; or, the Extemporaneous Speaker, including
+a Chairman's Guide for conducting Public Meetings according to the
+best Parliamentary forms, by Wm. Pittenger. $1.00.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE BIBLE. By Fanny L. Armstrong, with an Introduction
+by Frances E. Willard, Pres. N. W. C. T. U. clo. $1.
+
+THE TEMPERANCE REFORMATION.--Its History from the first Temperance
+Society in the U. S. to the Adoption of the Maine Liquor Law. $1.00.
+
+AESOP'S FABLES.--With Seventy Splendid Illustrations. One vol. 12mo.
+fancy cloth, gilt edges, $1.00
+
+POPE'S ESSAY ON MAN, with illustrations and Notes by S. R. Wells,
+tinted paper, clo. full gilt. $1.00.
+
+GEMS OF GOLDSMITH; "The Traveler," "The Deserted Village," "The
+Hermit." With notes and Original Illustrations, and Biographical
+Sketch of the great author. One vol., fancy cloth, full gilt. $1.00.
+
+THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER. In Seven Parts. By Samuel T.
+Coleridge. With new illus. by Chapman, fancy clo., full gilt, $1.00
+
+IMMORTALITY INHERENT IN NATURE. By Sumner Barlow, author of "The
+Voices" and other poems, ex. cloth, full gilt. 60c.
+
+HOW TO PAINT.--A Complete Compendium of the Art. Designed for the use
+of Tradesmen, Mechanics, Merchants and Farmers, and a Guide to the
+Professional Painter. Containing a plain Common sense statement of the
+Methods employed by Painters to produce satisfactory results in Plain
+and Fancy Painting of every Description including Gilding, Bronzing,
+Staining, Graining, Marbling. Varnishing, Polishing, Kalsomining,
+Paper Hanging, Striping, Lettering, Copying and Ornamenting, with
+Formulas for Mixing Paint in Oil or Water. Description of Various
+Pigments used; tools required etc. $1.00.
+
+CARRIAGE PAINTER'S ILLUSTRATED MANUAL, containing a Treatise on the
+Art, Science and Mystery of Coach, Carriage, and Car Painting.
+Including the Improvements in Fine Gilding, Bronzing, Staining,
+Varnishing, Polishing, Copying, Lettering, Scrolling, and Ornamenting.
+By F. B. Gardner. $1.00.
+
+HOW TO KEEP A STORE; embodying the Experience of Thirty Years, in
+Merchandizing. By S. H. Terry. $1.50.
+
+HOW TO RAISE FRUIT.--A Hand-book. Being a Guide to the Cultivation and
+Management of Fruit Trees, and of Grapes and Small Fruits. With
+Descriptions of the Best and Most Popular Varieties. Illustrated. By
+Thomas Gregg. $1.00.
+
+HOW TO BE WEATHER-WISE.--A new View of our Weather System, by I. P.
+Noyes. 25c.
+
+HOW TO LIVE.--Saving and Wasting; or, Domestic Economy Illustrated by
+the Life of two Families of Opposite Character, Habits, and Practices,
+Useful Lessons in Housekeeping and Hints How to Live, How to Have, and
+How to be Happy including the Story of "A Dime a Day," by Solon
+Robinson. $1.00.
+
+HOMES FOR ALL; OR THE GRAVEL WALL. A New Cheap and Superior Mode of
+Building, adapted to Rich and Poor. Showing the Superiority of the
+Gravel Concrete over Brick, Stone and Frame Houses; Manner of Making
+and Depositing it. By O. S. Fowler. $1.00.
+
+THE MODEL POTATO.--Proper cultivation and mode of cooking. 30c.
+
+THREE VISITS TO AMERICA, by Emily Faithful. 400 pages. $1.50.
+
+A NEW THEORY OF THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES. By Benj. G. Farris. $1.50.
+
+MAN IN GENESIS AND IN GEOLOGY, or, the Biblical Account of Man's
+Creation tested by Scientific Theories of his Origin and Antiquity, by
+J. P. Thompson, D.D., LL.D. $1.00
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of
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