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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
+
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no
+restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under
+the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or
+online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+
+Title: The Lunatic at Large
+
+Author: J. Storer Clouston
+
+Release Date: January 30, 2007 [Ebook #20485]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+
+
+
+
+
+                                   THE
+                            LUNATIC AT LARGE
+
+                                _A NOVEL_
+
+                                   BY
+                           J. STORER CLOUSTON
+
+AUTHORIZED EDITION
+
+BRENTANO’S
+NEW YORK
+1915
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+PART I.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART II.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+   CHAPTER VIII.
+   CHAPTER IX.
+PART III.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART IV.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+ERRATA.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                          THE LUNATIC AT LARGE.
+
+
+                              INTRODUCTORY.
+
+
+Into the history of Mr Francis Beveridge, as supplied by the obliging
+candour of the Baron von Blitzenberg and the notes of Dr Escott, Dr
+Twiddel and his friend Robert Welsh make a kind of explanatory entry. They
+most effectually set the ball a-rolling, and so the story starts in a
+small room looking out on a very uninteresting London street.
+
+It was about three o’clock on a November afternoon, that season of fogs
+and rains and mud, when towns-people long for fresh air and hillsides, and
+country-folk think wistfully of the warmth and lights of a city, when
+nobody is satisfied, and everybody has a cold. Outside the window of the
+room there were a few feet of earth adorned with a low bush or two, a line
+of railings, a stone-paved street, and on the other side a long row of
+uniform yellow brick houses. The apartment itself was a modest chamber,
+containing a minimum of rented furniture and a flickering gas-stove. By a
+small caseful of medical treatises and a conspicuous stethoscope, the
+least experienced could see that it was labelled consulting-room.
+
+Dr Twiddel was enjoying one of those moments of repose that occur even in
+the youngest practitioner’s existence. For the purposes of this narrative
+he may briefly be described as an amiable-looking young man, with a little
+bit of fair moustache and still less chin, no practice to speak of, and a
+considerable quantity of unpaid bills. A man of such features and in such
+circumstances invites temptation. At the present moment, though his
+waistcoat was unbuttoned and his feet rested on the mantelpiece, his mind
+seemed not quite at ease. He looked back upon a number of fortunate events
+that had not occurred, and forward to various unpleasant things that might
+occur, and then he took a letter from his pocket and read it abstractedly.
+
+“I can’t afford to refuse,” he reflected, lugubriously; “and yet, hang it!
+I must say I don’t fancy the job.”
+
+When metal is molten it can be poured into any vessel; and at that moment
+a certain deep receptacle stood on the very doorstep.
+
+The doctor heard the bell, sat up briskly, stuffed the letter back into
+his pocket, and buttoned his waistcoat.
+
+“A patient at last!” and instantly there arose a vision of a simple
+operation, a fabulous fee, and twelve sickly millionaires an hour ever
+after. The door opened, and a loud voice hailed him familiarly.
+
+“Only Welsh,” he sighed, and the vision went the way of all the others.
+
+The gentleman who swaggered in and clapped the doctor on the back, who
+next threw himself into the easiest chair and his hat and coat over the
+table, was in fact Mr Robert Welsh. From the moment he entered he pervaded
+the room; the stethoscope seemed to grow less conspicuous, Dr Twiddel’s
+chin more diminutive, the apartment itself a mere background to this
+guest. Why? It would be hard to say precisely. He was a black-moustached,
+full-faced man, with an air of the most consummate assurance, and a person
+by some deemed handsome. Yet somehow or other he inevitably recalled the
+uncles of history. Perhaps this assurance alone gave him his atmosphere.
+You could have felt his egotism in the dark.
+
+He talked in a loud voice and with a great air of mastery over all the
+contingencies of a life about town. You felt that here sat one who had
+seen the world and gave things their proper proportions, who had learned
+how meretricious was orthodoxy, and which bars could really be
+recommended. He chaffed, patronised, and cheered the doctor. Patients had
+been scarce, had they? Well, after all, there were many consolations. Did
+Twiddle say he was hard up? Welsh himself in an even more evil case. He
+narrated various unfortunate transactions connected with the turf and
+other pursuits, with regret, no doubt, and yet with a fine rakish defiance
+of destiny. Twiddel’s face cleared, and he began to show something of the
+same gallant spirit. He brought out a tall bottle with a Celtic
+superscription; Welsh half filled his glass, poured in some water from a
+dusty decanter, and proposed the toast of “Luck to the two most deserving
+sinners in London!”
+
+The doctor was fired, he drew the same letter from his pocket, and cried,
+“By Jove, Welsh, I’d almost forgotten to tell you of a lucky offer that
+came this morning.”
+
+This was not strictly true, for as a matter of fact the doctor had only
+hesitated to tell of this offer lest he should be shamed to a decision.
+But Welsh was infectious.
+
+“Congratulations, old man!” said his friend. “What’s it all about?”
+
+“Here’s a letter from an old friend of my people’s—Dr Watson, by name. He
+has a very good country practice, and he offers me this job.”
+
+He handed the letter to Welsh, and then added, with a flutter of caution,
+“I haven’t made up my mind yet. There are drawbacks, as you’ll see.”
+
+Welsh opened the letter and read:—
+
+“DEAR TWIDDEL,—I am happy to tell you that I am at last able to put
+something in your way. A gentleman in this neighbourhood, one of my most
+esteemed patients, has lately suffered from a severe mental and physical
+shock, followed by brain fever, and is still, I regret to say, in an
+extremely unstable mental condition. I have strongly recommended quiet and
+change of scene, and at my suggestion he is to be sent abroad under the
+care of a medical attendant. I have now much pleasure in offering you the
+post, if you would care to accept it. You will find your patient, Mr
+Mandell-Essington, an extremely agreeable young man when in possession of
+his proper faculties. He has large means and no near relatives; he comes
+of one of the best families in the county; and though he has, I surmise,
+sown his wild oats pretty freely, he was considered of unusual promise
+previous to this unfortunate illness. He is of an amiable and pleasant
+disposition, though at present, we fear, inclined to suicidal tendencies.
+I have no particular reason to think he is at all homicidal; still, you
+will see that he naturally requires most careful watching. It is possible
+that you may hesitate to leave your practice (which I trust prospers); but
+as the responsibility is considerable, the fee will be proportionately
+generous—£500, and all expenses paid.”
+
+(“Five hundred quid!” exclaimed Welsh.)
+
+“I would suggest a trip on the Continent. The duration and the places to
+be visited will be entirely at your discretion. It is of course hardly
+necessary to say that you will seek quiet localities. Trusting to hear
+from you at your very earliest convenience, believe me, yours sincerely,
+
+                                                          TIMOTHY WATSON.”
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with the respect that prosperity naturally
+excites. He smiled on him as an equal, and cried, heartily,
+“Congratulations again! When do you start?”
+
+Twiddel fidgeted uncomfortably, “I—er—well, you see—ah—I haven’t _quite_
+made up my mind yet.”
+
+“What’s the matter?”
+
+“Hang it, Welsh—er—the fact is I don’t altogether like the job.”
+
+Scruples of any kind always surprised Welsh.
+
+“Can’t afford to leave the practice?” he asked with a laugh.
+
+“That’s—ah—partly the reason,” replied Twiddel, uncomfortably.
+
+“Rot, old man! There’s a girl in the case. Out with it!”
+
+“No, it isn’t that. You see it’s the very devil of a responsibility.”
+
+At this confession of weakness he looked guiltily at his heroic friend.
+From the bottom of his heart he wished he had screwed up his courage in
+private. Welsh had so little imagination.
+
+“By Gad,” exclaimed Welsh, “I’d manage a nunnery for £500!”
+
+“I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly homicidal, lunatic
+isn’t a nunnery.”
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.
+
+“Then you are going to chuck up £500 and a free trip on the Continent?” he
+said.
+
+“Dr Watson himself admits the responsibility.”
+
+“With a—what is it?—agreeable young man?”
+
+“Only when in possession of his proper faculties,” said the doctor,
+dismally.
+
+“And an amiable disposition?”
+
+“With suicidal tendencies, hang it!”
+
+“I should have thought,” said Welsh, with a laugh, “that they would only
+matter to himself.”
+
+“But he is homicidal too—or at least it’s doubtful. I want to know a
+little more about that, thank you!”
+
+“What is the man’s name?”
+
+“Mandell-Essington.”
+
+“Sounds aristocratic. He might come in useful afterwards, when he’s
+cured.”
+
+Welsh spoke with an air of reflection, which might have been entirely
+disinterested.
+
+“He’d probably commit suicide first,” said Twiddel, “and of course I’d get
+all the blame.”
+
+“Or homicide,” replied Welsh, “When _he_ would.”
+
+“No, he wouldn’t—that’s the worst of it; I’d be blamed for having my own
+throat cut.”
+
+“Twiddel,” said his friend, deliberately, “it seems to me you’re a fool.”
+
+“I’m at least alive,” cried Twiddel, warming with sympathy for himself,
+“which I probably wouldn’t be for long in Mr Essington’s company.”
+
+“I don’t blame your nerves, dear boy,” said Welsh, with a smile that
+showed all his teeth, “only your head. Here are £500 going a-begging.
+There must be some way——” He paused, deep in reflection. “How would it
+do,” he remarked in a minute, “if _I_ were to go in your place?”
+
+Twiddel laughed and shook his head.
+
+“Couldn’t be managed?”
+
+“Couldn’t possibly, I’m afraid.”
+
+“No,” said Welsh. “I foresee difficulties.”
+
+He fished a pipe out of his pocket, filled and lit it, and leaned back in
+his chair gazing at the ceiling.
+
+“Twiddel, my boy,” he said at length, “will you give me a percentage of
+the fee if I think of a safe dodge for getting the money and preserving
+your throat?”
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+“Rather!” he said.
+
+“I am perfectly serious,” replied Welsh, keenly. “I’m certain the thing is
+quite possible.”
+
+He half closed his eyes and ruminated in silence. The doctor watched
+him—fascinated, afraid. Somehow or other he felt that he was already a
+kind of Guy Fawkes. There was something so unlawful in Welsh’s expression.
+
+They sat there without speaking for about ten minutes, and then all of a
+sudden Welsh sprang up with a shout of laughter, slapping first his own
+leg and then the doctor’s back.
+
+“By Gad, I’ve got it!” he cried. “I have it!”
+
+And he had; hence this tale.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART I.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+In a certain fertile and well-wooded county of England there stands a high
+stone wall. On a sunny day the eye of the traveller passing through this
+province is gratified by the sparkle of myriads of broken bottles arranged
+closely and continuously along its coping-stone. Above these shining
+facets the boughs of tall trees swing in the wind and throw their shadows
+across the highway. The wall at last leaves the road and follows the park
+round its entire extent. Its height never varies; the broken bottles
+glitter perpetually; and only through two entrances, and that when the
+gates are open, can one gain a single glimpse inside: for the gates are
+solid, with no chinks for the curious.
+
+The country all round is undulating, and here and there from the crest of
+an eminence you can see a great space of well-timbered park land within
+this wall; and in winter, when the leaves are off the trees, you may spy
+an imposing red-brick mansion in the midst.
+
+Any native will inform you, with a mixture of infectious awe and becoming
+pride, that this is no less than the far-famed private asylum of
+Clankwood.
+
+This ideal institution bore the enviable reputation of containing the
+best-bred lunatics in England. It was credibly reported that however well
+marked their symptoms and however well developed their delusions, none but
+ladies and gentlemen of the most unblemished descent were permitted to
+enjoy its seclusion. The dances there were universally considered the most
+agreeable functions in the county. The conversation of many of the inmates
+was of the widest range and the most refreshing originality, and the
+demeanour of all, even when most free from the conventional trammels of
+outside society, bore evidence of an expensive, and in some cases of a
+Christian, upbringing. This is scarcely to be wondered at, when beneath
+one roof were assembled the heirs-presumptive to three dukedoms, two
+suicidal marquises, an odd archbishop or so, and the flower of the
+baronetage and clergy. As this list only includes a few of the celebrities
+able or willing to be introduced to distinguished visitors, and makes no
+mention of the uncorroborated dignities (such as the classical divinities
+and Old Testament duplicates), the anxiety shown by some people to certify
+their relations can easily be understood.
+
+Dr Congleton, the proprietor and physician of Clankwood, was a gentleman
+singularly well fitted to act as host on the occasion of asylum reunions.
+No one could exceed him in the respect he showed to a coroneted head, even
+when cracked; and a bishop under his charge was always secured, as far as
+possible, from the least whisper of heretical conversation. He possessed
+besides a pleasant rubicund countenance and an immaculate wardrobe. He was
+further fortunate in having in his assistants, Dr Escott and Dr Sherlaw,
+two young gentlemen whose medical knowledge was almost equal to the
+affability of their manners and the excellence of their family
+connections.
+
+One November night these two were sitting over a comfortable fire in
+Sherlaw’s room. Twelve o’clock struck, Escott finished the remains of
+something in a tumbler, rose, and yawned sleepily.
+
+“Time to turn in, young man,” said he.
+
+“I suppose it is,” replied Sherlaw, a very pleasant and boyish young
+gentleman. “Hullo! What’s that? A cab?”
+
+They both listened, and some way off they could just pick out a sound like
+wheels upon gravel.
+
+“It’s very late for any one to be coming in,” said Escott.
+
+The sound grew clearer and more unmistakably like a cab rattling quickly
+up the drive.
+
+“It is a cab,” said Sherlaw.
+
+They heard it draw up before the front door, and then there came a pause.
+
+“Who the deuce can it be?” muttered Escott.
+
+In a few minutes there came a knock at the door, and a servant entered.
+
+“A new case, sir. Want’s to see Dr Congleton particular.”
+
+“A man or a woman?”
+
+“Man, sir.”
+
+“All right,” growled Sherlaw. “I’ll come, confound him.”
+
+“Bad luck, old man,” laughed Escott. “I’ll wait here in case by any chance
+you want me.”
+
+He fell into his chair again, lit a cigarette, and sleepily turned over
+the pages of a book. Dr Sherlaw was away for a little time, and when he
+returned his cheerful face wore a somewhat mystified expression.
+
+“Well?” asked Escott.
+
+“Rather a rum case,” said his colleague, thoughtfully.
+
+“What’s the matter?”
+
+“Don’t know.”
+
+“Who was it?”
+
+“Don’t know that either.”
+
+Escott opened his eyes.
+
+“What happened, then?”
+
+“Well,” said Sherlaw, drawing his chair up to the fire again, “I’ll tell
+you just what did happen, and you can make what you can out of it. Of
+course, I suppose it’s all right, really, but—well, the proceedings were a
+little unusual, don’t you know.
+
+“I went down to the door, and there I found a four-wheeler with a man
+standing beside it. The door of the cab was shut, and there seemed to be
+two more men inside. This chap who’d got out—a youngish man—hailed me at
+once as though he’d bought the whole place.
+
+“ ‘You Dr Congleton?’
+
+“ ‘Damn your impertinence!’ I said to myself, ‘ringing people up at this
+hour, and talking like a bally drill-sergeant.’
+
+“I told him politely I wasn’t old Congers, but that I’d make a good enough
+substitute for the likes of him.
+
+“ ‘I tell you what it is,’ said the Johnnie, ‘I’ve brought a patient for
+Dr Congleton, a cousin of mine, and I’ve got a doctor here, too. I want to
+see Dr Congleton.’
+
+“ ‘He’s probably in bed,’ I said, ‘but I’ll do just as well. I suppose
+he’s certified, and all that.’
+
+“ ‘Oh, it’s all right,’ said the man, rather as though he expected me to
+say that it wasn’t. He looked a little doubtful what to do, and then I
+heard some one inside the cab call him. He stuck his head in the window
+and they confabbed for a minute, and then he turned to me and said, with
+the most magnificent air you ever saw, like a chap buying a set of diamond
+studs, ‘My friend here is a great personal friend of Dr Congleton, and
+it’s a damned—— I mean it’s an uncommonly delicate matter. We must see
+him.’
+
+“ ‘Well, if you insist, I’ll see if I can get him,’ I said; ‘but you’d
+better come in and wait.’
+
+“So the Johnnie opened the door of the cab, and there was a great hauling
+and pushing, my friend pulling an arm from the outside, and the doctor
+shoving from within, and at last they fetched out their patient. He was a
+tall man, in a very smart-looking, long, light top-coat, and a cap with a
+large peak shoved over his eyes, and he seemed very unsteady on his pins.
+
+“ ‘Drunk, by George!’ I said to myself at first.
+
+“The doctor—another young-looking man—hopped out after him, and they each
+took an arm, lugged their patient into the waiting-room, and popped him
+into an armchair. There he collapsed, and sat with his head hanging down
+as limp as a sucked orange.
+
+“I asked them if anything was the matter with him.
+
+“ ‘Only tired,—just a little sleepy,’ said the cousin.
+
+“And do you know, Escott, what I’d stake my best boots was the matter with
+him?”
+
+“What?”
+
+“The man was drugged!”
+
+Escott looked at the fire thoughtfully.
+
+“Well,” he said, “it’s quite possible; he might have been too violent to
+manage.”
+
+“Why couldn’t they have said so, then?”
+
+“H’m. Not knowing, can’t say. What happened next?”
+
+“Next thing was, I asked the doctor what name I should give. He answered
+in a kind of nervous way, ‘No name; you needn’t give any name. I know Dr
+Congleton personally. Ask him to come, please.’ So off I tooled, and found
+old Congers just thinking of turning in.
+
+“ ‘My clients are sometimes unnecessarily discreet’, he remarked in his
+pompous way when I told him about the arrival, and of course he added his
+usual platitude about our reputation for discretion.
+
+“I went back with him to the waiting-room, and just stood at the door long
+enough to see him hail the doctor chap very cordially and be introduced to
+the patient’s cousin, and then I came away. Rather rum, isn’t it?”
+
+“You’ve certainly made the best of the yarn,” said Escott with a laugh.
+
+“By George, if you’d been there you’d have thought it funny too.”
+
+“Well, good-night, I’m off. We’ll probably hear to-morrow what it’s all
+about.”
+
+But in the morning there was little more to be learned about the
+new-comer’s history and antecedents. Dr Congleton spoke of the matter to
+the two young men, with the pompous cough that signified extreme
+discretion.
+
+“Brought by an old friend of mine,” he said. “A curious story, Escott, but
+quite intelligible. There seem to be the best reasons for answering no
+questions about him; you understand?”
+
+“Certainly, sir,” said the two assistants, with the more assurance as they
+had no information to give.
+
+“I am perfectly satisfied, mind you—perfectly satisfied,” added their
+chief.
+
+“By the way, sir,” Sherlaw ventured to remark, “hadn’t they given him
+something in the way of a sleeping-draught?”
+
+“Eh? Indeed? I hardly think so, Sherlaw, I hardly think so. Case of
+reaction entirely. Good morning.”
+
+“Congleton seems satisfied,” remarked Escott.
+
+“I’ll tell you what,” said the junior, profoundly. “Old Congers is a very
+good chap, and all that, but he’s not what I should call extra sharp. _I_
+should feel uncommon suspicious.”
+
+“H’m,” replied Escott. “As you say, our worthy chief is not extra sharp.
+But that’s not our business, after all.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+“By the way,” said Escott, a couple of days later, “how is your mysterious
+man getting on? I haven’t seen him myself yet.”
+
+Sherlaw laughed.
+
+“He’s turning out a regular sportsman, by George! For the first day he was
+more or less in the same state in which he arrived. Then he began to wake
+up and ask questions. ‘What the devil is this place?’ he said to me in the
+evening. It may sound profane, but he was very polite, I assure you. I
+told him, and he sort of raised his eyebrows, smiled, and thanked me like
+a Prime Minister acknowledging an obligation. Since then he has steadily
+developed sporting, not to say frisky, tastes. He went out this morning,
+and in five minutes had his arm round one of the prettiest nurses’ waist.
+And she didn’t seem to mind much either, by George!”
+
+“He’ll want a bit of looking after, I take it.”
+
+“Seems to me he is uncommonly capable of taking care of himself. The rest
+of the establishment will want looking after, though.”
+
+From this time forth the mysterious gentleman began to regularly take the
+air and to be remarked, and having once remarked him, people looked again.
+
+Mr Francis Beveridge, for such it appeared was his name, was distinguished
+even for Clankwood. Though his antecedents were involved in mystery, so
+much confidence was placed in Dr Congleton’s discrimination that the
+unknown stranger was at once received on the most friendly terms by every
+one; and, to tell the truth, it would have been hard to repulse him for
+long. His manner was perfect, his conversation witty to the extremest
+verge of propriety, and his clothes, fashionable in cut and of
+unquestionable fit, bore on such of the buttons as were made of metal the
+hall mark of a leading London firm. He wore the longest and most silky
+moustaches ever seen, and beneath them a short well-tended beard completed
+his resemblance—so the ladies declared—to King Charles of unhappy memory.
+The melancholic Mr Jones (quondam author of ‘Sunflowers—A Lyrical Medley’)
+declared, indeed, that for Mr Beveridge shaving was prohibited, and darkly
+whispered “suicidal,” but his opinion was held of little account.
+
+It was upon a morning about a week after his arrival that Dr Escott, alone
+in the billiard-room, saw him enter. Escott had by this time made his
+acquaintance, and, like almost everybody else, had already succumbed to
+the fascination of his address.
+
+“Good morning, doctor,” he said; “I wish you to do me a trifling favour, a
+mere bending of your eyes.”
+
+Escott laughed.
+
+“I shall be delighted. What is it?”
+
+Mr Beveridge unbuttoned his waistcoat and displayed his shirt-front.
+
+“I only want you to be good enough to read the inscription written here.”
+
+The doctor bent down.
+
+“ ‘Francis Beveridge,’ ” he said. “That’s all I see.”
+
+“And that’s all I see,” said Mr Beveridge. “Now what can you read here? I
+am not troubling you?”
+
+He held out his handkerchief as he spoke.
+
+“Not a bit,” laughed the doctor, “but I only see ‘Francis Beveridge’ here
+too, I’m afraid.”
+
+“Everything has got it,” said Mr Beveridge, shaking his head, it would be
+hard to say whether humorously or sadly. “ ‘Francis Beveridge’ on
+everything. It follows, I suppose, that I am Francis Beveridge?”
+
+“What else?” asked Escott, who was much amused.
+
+“That’s just it. What else?” said the other. He smiled a peculiarly
+charming smile, thanked the doctor with exaggerated gratitude, and
+strolled out again.
+
+“He is a rum chap,” reflected Escott.
+
+And indeed in the outside world he might safely have been termed rather
+rum, but here in this backwater, so full of the oddest flotsam, his
+waywardness was rather less than the average. He had, for instance, a
+diverting habit of modifying the time, and even the tune, of the hymns on
+Sunday, and he confessed to having kissed all the nurses and housemaids
+except three. But both Escott and Sherlaw declared they had never met a
+more congenial spirit. Mr Beveridge’s game of billiards was quite
+remarkable even for Clankwood, where the enforced leisure of many of the
+noblemen and gentlemen had made them highly proficient on the spot; he
+showed every promise, on his rare opportunities, of being an unusually
+entertaining small hour, whisky-and-soda _raconteur_; in fact, he was
+evidently a man whose previous career, whatever it might have been (and
+his own statements merely served to increase the mystery round this
+point), had led him through many humorous by-paths, and left him with few
+restrictive prejudices.
+
+November became December, and to all appearances he had settled down in
+his new residence with complete resignation, when that unknowable factor
+that upsets so many calculations came upon the scene,—the factor, I mean,
+that wears a petticoat.
+
+Mr Beveridge strolled into Escott’s room one morning to find the doctor
+inspecting a mixed assortment of white kid gloves.
+
+“Do these mean past or future conquests?” he asked with his smile.
+
+“Both,” laughed the doctor. “I’m trying to pick out a clean pair for the
+dance to-night.”
+
+“You go a-dancing, then?”
+
+“Don’t you know it’s our own monthly ball here?”
+
+“Of course,” said Mr Beveridge, passing his hand quickly across his brow.
+“I must have heard, but things pass so quickly through my head nowadays.”
+
+He laughed a little conventional laugh, and gazed at the gloves.
+
+“You are coming, of course?” said Escott.
+
+“If you can lend me a pair of these. Can you spare one?”
+
+“Help yourself,” replied the doctor.
+
+Mr Beveridge selected a pair with the care of a man who is particular in
+such matters, put them in his pocket, thanked the doctor, and went out.
+
+“Hope he doesn’t play the fool,” thought Escott.
+
+Invitations to the balls at Clankwood were naturally in great demand
+throughout the county, for nowhere were noblemen so numerous and
+divinities so tangible. Carriages and pairs rolled up one after another,
+the mansion glittered with lights, the strains of the band could be heard
+loud and stirring or low and faintly all through the house.
+
+“Who is that man dancing opposite my daughter?” asked the Countess of
+Grillyer.
+
+“A Mr Beveridge,” replied Dr Congleton.
+
+Mr Beveridge, in fact, the mark of all eyes, was dancing in a set of
+lancers. The couple opposite to him consisted of a stout elderly gentleman
+who, doubtless for the best reasons, styled himself the Emperor of the two
+Americas, and a charming little pink and flaxen partner—the Lady Alicia à
+Fyre, as everybody who was anybody could have told you. The handsome
+stranger moved, as might be expected, with his accustomed grace and air of
+distinction, and, probably to convince his admirers that there was nothing
+meretricious in his performance, he carried his hands in his pockets the
+whole time. This certainly caused a little inconvenience to his partner,
+but to be characteristic in Clankwood one had to step very far out of the
+beaten track.
+
+For two figures the Emperor snorted disapproval, but at the end of the
+third, when Mr Beveridge had been skipping round the outskirts of the set,
+his hands still thrust out of sight, somewhat to the derangement of the
+customary procedure, he could contain himself no longer.
+
+“Hey, young man!” he asked in his most stentorian voice, as the music
+ceased, “are you afraid of having your pockets picked?”
+
+“Alas!” replied Mr Beveridge, “it would take two men to do that.”
+
+“Huh!” snorted the Emperor, “you are so d—d strong, are you?”
+
+“I mean,” answered his _vis-à-vis_ with his polite smile, “that it would
+take one man to put something in and another to take it out.”
+
+This remark not only turned the laugh entirely on Mr Beveridge’s side, but
+it introduced the upsetting factor.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+The Lady Alicia à Fyre, though of the outer everyday world herself, had,
+in common with most families of any pretensions to ancient dignity, a
+creditable sprinkling of uncles and cousins domiciled in Clankwood, and so
+she frequently attended these dances.
+
+To-night her eye had been caught by a tall, graceful figure executing a
+_pas seul_ in the middle of the room with its hands in its pockets. The
+face of this gentleman was so composed and handsome, and he seemed so
+oblivious to the presence of everybody else, that her interest was
+immediately excited. During the set of lancers in which he was her
+_vis-à-vis_ she watched him furtively with a growing feeling of
+admiration. She had never heard him say a word, and it was with a
+sensation of the liveliest interest that she listened to his brief passage
+with her partner. At his final retort her tender heart was overcome with
+pity. He was poor, then, or at least he was allowed the use of no money.
+And all of him that was outside his pockets seemed so sane and so
+gentlemanly; it seemed a pity to let him lack a little sympathy.
+
+The Lady Alicia might be described as a becoming frock stuffed with
+sentiment. Through a pair of large blue eyes she drank in romance, and
+with the reddest and most undecided of lips she felt a vague desire to
+kiss something. At the end of the dance she managed by a series of little
+manœuvres to find herself standing close to his elbow. She sighed twice,
+but he still seemed absorbed in his thoughts. Then with a heroic effort
+she summed up her courage, and said in a low and rather shaky voice,
+“You—you—you are unha—appy.”
+
+Mr Beveridge turned and looked down on her with great interest. Her eyes
+met his for a moment and straightway sought the floor. Thus she saw
+nothing of a smile that came and went like the shadow of a puff of smoke.
+He took his hands out of his pockets, folded his arms, and, with an air of
+the deepest dejection, sighed heavily. She took courage and looked up
+again, and then, as he only gazed into space in the most romantically
+melancholy fashion and made no answer, she asked again very timidly,
+“Wh—what is the matter?”
+
+Without saying a word Mr Beveridge bent courteously and offered her his
+right arm. She took it with the most delicious trepidation, glancing round
+hurriedly to see whether the Countess noticed her. Another dance was just
+beginning, and in the general movement her mysterious acquaintance led her
+without observation to a seat in the window of a corridor. There he
+pressed her hand gently, stroked his long moustaches for a minute, and
+then said, with an air of reflection: “There are three ways of making a
+woman like one. I am slightly out of practice. Would you be kind enough to
+suggest a method of procedure?”
+
+Such a beginning was so wholly unexpected that Lady Alicia could only give
+a little gasp of consternation. Her companion, after pausing an instant
+for a reply, went on in the same tone, “I am aware that I have begun well.
+I attracted your attention, I elicited your sympathy, and I pressed your
+hand; but for the life of me I can’t remember what I generally do next.”
+
+Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of sympathy ready to be
+gulped down by this unfortunate gentleman, was only able to stammer, “I—I
+really don’t know, Mr——”
+
+“Hamilton,” said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. “At least that name belongs
+to me as much as anything can be said to in a world where my creditors
+claim my money and Dr Congleton my person.”
+
+“You are confined and poor, you mean?” asked Lady Alicia, beginning to see
+her way again.
+
+“Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order, for if I had the
+wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should certainly cease to be
+confined.”
+
+His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this, and Mr Beveridge
+continued, “To return to the delicate subject from which we strayed, what
+would you like me to do,—put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
+or turn my back on you?”
+
+“Are—are those the three ways you spoke of—to make women like you, I
+mean?” Lady Alicia ventured to ask, though she was beginning to wish the
+sofa was larger.
+
+“They are examples of the three classical methods: cuddling, humbugging,
+and piquing. Which do you prefer?”
+
+“Tell me about your—your troubles,” she answered, gaining courage a
+little.
+
+“You belong to the sex which makes no mention of figs and spades,” he
+rejoined; “but I understand you to mean that you prefer humbugging.”
+
+He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly into Lady Alicia’s
+blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent voice, “My boyhood was troubled
+and unhappy: no kind words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel
+stepfather, ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
+heartless stepmother.”
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness that surprised
+herself, and a perspicacity that would have surprised her friends, asked,
+“How could they—I mean, were they _both_ step?”
+
+“Several steps,” he replied; “in fact, quite a long journey.”
+
+With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain satisfied; but as
+he had paused a second time, and seemed to be immersed in the study of his
+shoes, she inquired again, “You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
+mean——?”
+
+“Deformities,” he corrected; “up to the age of fourteen years I could only
+walk sideways, and my hair parted in the middle.”
+
+He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies seemed to her the most
+touching misfortunes she had ever heard of. She murmured gently, “Yes?”
+
+“As the years advanced,” Mr Beveridge continued, “and I became more nearly
+the same weight as my stepfather, my life grew happier. It was decided to
+send me to college, so I was provided with an insufficient cheque, a
+complete set of plated forks, and three bath-towels, and despatched to the
+University of Oxford. At least I think that was the name of the
+corporation which took my money and endeavoured to restrict my habits,
+though, to confess the truth, my memory is not what it used to be. There I
+learned wisdom by the practice of folly—the most amusing and effective
+method. My tutor used to tell me I had some originality. I apologised for
+its presence in such a respectable institution, and undertook to pass an
+examination instead. I believe I succeeded: I certainly remember giving a
+dinner to celebrate something. Thereupon at my own expense the University
+inflicted a degree upon me, but I was shortly afterwards compensated by
+the death of my uncle and my accession to his estates. Having enjoyed a
+university education, and accordingly possessing a corrected and regulated
+sentiment, I was naturally inconsolable at the decease of this venerable
+relative, who for so long had shown a kindly interest in the poor orphan
+lad.”
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia asked with great interest, “But
+your step-parents, you always had them, hadn’t you?”
+
+“Never!” he replied, sadly.
+
+“Never?” she exclaimed in some bewilderment.
+
+“Certainly not often,” he answered, “and oftener than not, never. If you
+had told me beforehand you wished to hear my history, I should have pruned
+my family tree into a more presentable shape. But if you will kindly tell
+me as I go along which of my relatives you disapprove of, and who you
+would like to be introduced, I shall arrange the plot to suit you.”
+
+“I only wish to hear the true story, Mr Hamilton.”
+
+“Fortescue,” he corrected. “I certainly prefer to be called by one name at
+a time, but never by the same twice running.”
+
+He smiled so agreeably as he said this that Lady Alicia, though puzzled
+and a little hurt, could not refrain from smiling back.
+
+“Let me hear the rest,” she said.
+
+“It is no truer than the first part, but quite as entertaining. So, if you
+like, I shall endeavour to recall the series of painful episodes that
+brought me to Clankwood,” he answered, very seriously.
+
+Lady Alicia settled herself comfortably into one corner of the sofa and
+prepared to feel affected. But at that moment the portly form of Dr
+Congleton appeared from the direction of the ballroom with a still more
+portly dowager on his arm.
+
+“My mother!” exclaimed Lady Alicia, rising quickly to her feet.
+
+“Indeed?” said Mr Beveridge, who still kept his seat. “She certainly looks
+handsome enough.”
+
+This speech made Lady Alicia blush very becomingly, and the Countess
+looked at her sharply.
+
+“Where have you been, Alicia?”
+
+“The room was rather warm, mamma, and——”
+
+“In short, madam,” interrupted Mr Beveridge, rising and bowing, “your
+charming daughter wished to study a lunatic at close quarters. I am mad,
+and I obligingly raved. Thus——” He ran one hand through his hair so as to
+make it fall over his eyes, blew out his cheeks, and uttering a yell,
+sprang high into the air, and descended in a sitting posture on the floor.
+
+“That, madam, is a very common symptom,” he explained, with a smile,
+smoothing down his hair again, “as our friend Dr Congleton will tell you.”
+
+Both the doctor and the Countess were too astonished to make any reply, so
+he turned again to Lady Alicia, and offering his arm, said, “Let me lead
+you back to our fellow-fools.”
+
+“Is he safe?” whispered the Countess.
+
+“I—I believe so,” replied Dr Congleton in some confusion; “but I shall
+have him watched more carefully.”
+
+As they entered the room Mr Beveridge whispered, “Will you meet a poor
+lunatic again?” And the Lady Alicia pressed his arm.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+On the morning after the dance Dr Congleton summoned Dr Escott to his
+room.
+
+“Escott,” he began, “we must keep a little sharper eye on Mr Beveridge.”
+
+“Indeed, sir?” said Escott; “he seems to me harmless enough.”
+
+“Nevertheless, he must be watched. Lady Grillyer was considerably alarmed
+by his conduct last night, and a client who has confided so many of her
+relatives to my care must be treated with the greatest regard. I receive
+pheasants at Christmas from no fewer than fourteen families of title, and
+my reputation for discretion is too valuable to be risked. When Mr
+Beveridge is not under your own eyes you must see that Moggridge always
+keeps him in sight.”
+
+Accordingly Moggridge, a burly and seasoned attendant on refractory
+patients, was told off to keep an unobtrusive eye on that accomplished
+gentleman. His duties appeared light enough, for, as I have said, Mr
+Beveridge’s eccentricities had hitherto been merely of the most playful
+nature.
+
+After luncheon on this same day he gave Escott twelve breaks and a beating
+at billiards, and then having borrowed and approved of one of his cigars,
+he strolled into the park. If he intended to escape observation, he
+certainly showed the most skilful strategy, for he dodged deviously
+through the largest trees, and at last, after a roundabout ramble, struck
+a sheltered walk that ran underneath the high, glass-decked outer wall. It
+was a sunny winter afternoon. The boughs were stripped, and the leaves lay
+littered on the walk or flickered and stirred through the grass. In this
+spot the high trees stood so close and the bare branches were so thick
+that there was still an air of quiet and seclusion where he paced and
+smoked. Every now and then he stopped and listened and looked at his
+watch, and as he walked backwards and forwards an amused smile would come
+and go.
+
+All at once he heard something move on the far side of the wall: he paused
+to make sure, and then he whistled, the sounds outside ceased, and in a
+moment something fell softly behind him. He turned quickly and snatched up
+a little buttonhole of flowers with a still smaller note tied to the
+stems.
+
+“An uncommonly happy idea,” he said to himself, looking at the missive
+with the air of one versed in these matters. Then he leisurely proceeded
+to unfold and read the note.
+
+“To my friend,” he read, “if I may call you a friend, since I have known
+you only _such a short time_—may I? This is just to express my sympathy,
+and although I cannot express it well, still perhaps you will forgive my
+feeble effort!!”
+
+At this point, just as he was regarding the double mark of exclamation
+with reminiscent entertainment, a plaintive voice from the other side of
+the wall cried in a stage whisper, “Have you got it?”
+
+Mr Beveridge composed his face, and heaving his shoulders to his ears in
+the effort, gave vent to a prodigious sigh.
+
+“A million thanks, my fairest and kindest of friends,” he answered in the
+same tone. “I read it now: I drink it in, I——”
+
+He kissed the back of his hand loudly two or three times, sighed again,
+and continued his reading.
+
+“I wish I could help you,” it ran, “but I am afraid I cannot, as the world
+is _so censorious_, is it not? So you must accept a friend’s sympathy if
+it does not seem to you too bold and forward of her!!! Perhaps we may meet
+again, as I sometimes go to Clankwood. _Au revoir._—Your sympathetic
+well-wisher. A. À. F.”
+
+He folded it up and put it in his waistcoat-pocket, then he exclaimed in
+an audible aside, his voice shaking with the most affecting thrill,
+“_Perhaps_ we may meet again! Only _perhaps!_ O Alicia!” And then dropping
+again into a stage whisper, he asked, “Are you still there, Lady Alicia?”
+
+A timorous voice replied, “Yes, Mr Fortescue. But I really _must_ go now!”
+
+“Now? So soon?”
+
+“I have stayed too long already.”
+
+“’Tis better to have stayed too long than never to wear stays at all,”
+replied Mr Beveridge.
+
+There was no response for a moment. Then a low voice, a little hurt and a
+good deal puzzled, asked with evident hesitation, “What—what did you say,
+Mr Fortescue?”
+
+“I said that Lady Alicia’s stay cannot be too long,” he answered, softly.
+
+“But—but what good can I be?”
+
+“The good you cannot help being.”
+
+There was another moment’s pause, then the voice whispered, “I don’t quite
+understand you.”
+
+“My Alicia understands me not!” Mr Beveridge soliloquised in another
+audible aside. Aloud, or rather in a little lower tone, he answered, “I am
+friendless, poor, and imprisoned. What is the good in your staying? Ah,
+Lady Alicia! But why should I detain you? Go, fair friend! Go and forget
+poor Francis Beveridge!”
+
+There came a soft, surprised answer, “Francis Beveridge?”
+
+“Alas! you have guessed my secret. Yes, that is the name of the unhappiest
+of mortals.”
+
+As he spoke these melancholy words he threw away the stump of his cigar,
+took another from his case, and bit off the end.
+
+The voice replied, “I shall remember it—among my friends.”
+
+Mr Beveridge struck a match.
+
+“H’sh! Whatever is that?” cried the voice in alarm.
+
+“A heart breaking,” he replied, lighting his cigar.
+
+“Don’t talk like that,” said the voice. “It—it distresses me.” There was a
+break in the voice.
+
+“And, alas! between distress and consolation there are fifteen
+perpendicular feet of stone and mortar and the relics of twelve hundred
+bottles of Bass,” he replied.
+
+“Perhaps,”—the voice hesitated—“perhaps we may see each other some day.”
+
+“Say to-morrow at four o’clock,” he suggested, pertinently. “If you could
+manage to be passing up the drive at that hour.”
+
+There was another pause.
+
+“Perhaps——” the voice began.
+
+At that moment he heard the sharp crack of a branch behind him, and
+turning instantly he spied the uncompromising countenance of Moggridge
+peering round a tree about twenty paces distant. Lack of presence of mind
+and quick decision were not amongst Mr Beveridge’s failings. He struck a
+theatrical attitude at once, and began in a loud voice, gazing up at the
+tops of the trees, “He comes! A stranger comes! Yes, my fair friend, we
+may meet again. _Au revoir_, but only for a while! Ah, that a breaking
+heart should be lit for a moment and then the lamp be put out!”
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge was walking towards him.
+
+“Ha, Moggridge!” he cried. “Good day.”
+
+“Time you was goin’ in, sir,” said Moggridge, stolidly; and to himself he
+muttered, “He’s crackeder than I thought, a-shoutin’ and a-ravin’ to
+hisself. Just as well I kept a heye on ’im.”
+
+Like most clever people, Mr Beveridge generally followed the line of least
+resistance. He slipped his arm through his attendant’s, shouted a farewell
+apparently to some imaginary divinity overhead, and turned towards the
+house.
+
+“This is an unexpected pleasure,” he remarked.
+
+“Yes, sir,” replied Moggridge.
+
+“Funny thing your turning up. Out for a walk, I suppose?”
+
+“For a stroll, sir—that’s to say——” he stopped.
+
+“That on these chilly afternoons the dear good doctor is afraid of my
+health?”
+
+“That’s kind o’ it, sir.”
+
+“But of course I’m not supposed to notice anything, eh?”
+
+Moggridge looked a trifle uncomfortable and was discreetly silent. Mr
+Beveridge smiled at his own perspicacity, and then began in the most
+friendly tone, “Well, I feel flattered that so stout a man has been told
+off to take care of me. What an arm you’ve got, man.”
+
+“Pretty fair, sir,” said Moggridge, complacently.
+
+“And I am thankful, too,” continued Mr Beveridge, “that you’re a man of
+some sense. There are a lot of fools in the world, Moggridge, and I’m
+somewhat of an epicure in the matter of heads.”
+
+“Mine ’as been considered pretty sharp,” Moggridge admitted, with a
+gratified relaxation of his wooden countenance.
+
+“Have a cigar?” his patient asked, taking out his case.
+
+“Thank you, sir, I don’t mind if I do.”
+
+“You will find it a capital smoke. I don’t throw them away on every one.”
+
+Moggridge, completely thawed, lit his cigar and slackened his pace, for
+such frank appreciation of his merits was rare in a critical world.
+
+“You can perhaps believe, Moggridge,” said Mr Beveridge, reflectively,
+“that one doesn’t often have the chance of talking confidentially to a man
+of sense in Clankwood.”
+
+“No, sir, I should himagine not.”
+
+“And so one has sometimes to talk to oneself.”
+
+This was said so sadly that Moggridge began to feel uncomfortably
+affected.
+
+“Ah, Moggridge, one cannot always keep silence, even when one least wants
+to be overheard. Have you ever been in love, Moggridge?”
+
+The burly keeper changed countenance a little at this embarrassingly
+direct question, and answered diffidently, “Well, sir, to be sure men is
+men and woming will be woming.”
+
+“The deuce, they will!” replied Mr Beveridge, cordially; “and it’s rather
+hard to forget ’em, eh?”
+
+“Hindeed it is, sir.”
+
+“I remembered this afternoon, but I should like you as a good chap to
+forget. You won’t mention my moment of weakness, Moggridge?”
+
+“No, sir,” said Moggridge, stoutly. “I suppose I hought to report what I
+sees, but I won’t this time.”
+
+“Thank you,” said Mr Beveridge, pressing his arm. “I had, you know, a
+touch of the sun in India, and I sometimes talk when I shouldn’t. Though,
+after all, that isn’t a very uncommon complaint.”
+
+And so it happened that no rumour prejudicial either to his sanity or to
+the progress of his friendship with the Lady Alicia reached the ears of
+the authorities.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+Towards four o’clock on the following afternoon Mr Beveridge and Moggridge
+were walking leisurely down the long drive leading from the mansion of
+Clankwood to the gate that opened on the humdrum outer world. Finding that
+an inelastic matter of yards was all the tether he could hope for, Mr
+Beveridge thought it best to take the bull by the horns, and make a
+companion of this necessity. So he kept his attendant by his side, and
+regaled him for some time with a series of improbable reminiscences and
+tolerable cigars, till at last, round a bend of the avenue, a lady on
+horseback came into view. As she drew a little nearer he stopped with an
+air of great surprise and pleasure.
+
+“I believe, Moggridge, that must be Lady Alicia à Fyre!” he exclaimed.
+
+“It looks huncommon like her, sir,” replied Moggridge.
+
+“I must really speak to her. She was”—and Mr Beveridge assumed his
+inimitable air of manly sentiment—“she was one of my poor mother’s dearest
+friends. Do you mind, Moggridge, falling behind a little? In fact, if you
+could step behind a tree and wait here for me, it would be pleasanter for
+us both. We used to meet under happier circumstances, and, don’t you know,
+it might distress her to be reminded of my misfortunes.”
+
+Such a reasonable request, beseechingly put by so fine a gentleman, could
+scarcely be refused. Moggridge retired behind the trees that lined the
+avenue, and Mr Beveridge advanced alone to meet the Lady Alicia. She
+blushed very becomingly as he raised his hat.
+
+“I hardly expected to see you to-day, Mr Beveridge,” she began.
+
+“I, on the other hand, have been thinking of nothing else,” he replied.
+
+She blushed still deeper, but responded a little reprovingly, “It’s very
+polite of you to say so, but——”
+
+“Not a bit,” said he. “I have a dozen equally well-turned sentences at my
+disposal, and, they tell me, a most deluding way of saying them.”
+
+Suddenly out of her depth again, poor Lady Alicia could only strike out at
+random.
+
+“Who tell you?” she managed to say.
+
+“First, so far as my poor memory goes, my mother’s lady’s-maid informed me
+of the fact; then I think my sister’s governess,” he replied, ticking off
+his informants on his fingers with a half-abstracted air. “After that came
+a number of more or less reliable individuals, and lastly the Lady Alicia
+à Fyre.”
+
+“Me? I’m sure I never said——”
+
+“None of them ever _said_,” he interrupted.
+
+“But what have I done, then?” she asked, tightening her reins, and making
+her horse fidget a foot or two farther away.
+
+“You have begun to be a most adorable friend to a most unfortunate man.”
+
+Still Lady Alicia looked at him a little dubiously, and only said, “I—I
+hope I’m not too friendly.”
+
+“There are no degrees in friendly,” he replied. “There are only aloofly,
+friendly, and more than friendly.”
+
+“I—I think I ought to be going on, Mr Beveridge.”
+
+That experienced diplomatist perceived that it was necessary to further
+embellish himself.
+
+“Are you fond of soldiers?” he asked, abruptly.
+
+“I beg your pardon?” she said in considerable bewilderment.
+
+“Does a red coat, a medal, and a brass band appeal to you? Are you apt to
+be interested in her Majesty’s army?”
+
+“I generally like soldiers,” she admitted, still much surprised at the
+turn the conversation had taken.
+
+“Then I was a soldier.”
+
+“But—really?”
+
+“I held a commission in one of the crackest cavalry regiments,” he began
+dramatically, and yet with a great air of sincerity. “I was considered one
+of the most promising officers in the mess. It nearly broke my heart to
+leave the service.”
+
+He turned away his head. Lady Alicia was visibly affected.
+
+“I am so sorry!” she murmured.
+
+Still keeping his face turned away, he held out his hand and she pressed
+it gently.
+
+“Sorrow cannot give me my freedom,” he said.
+
+“If there is anything I can do——” she began.
+
+“Dismount,” he said, looking up at her tenderly.
+
+Lady Alicia never quite knew how it happened, but certainly she found
+herself standing on the ground, and the next moment Mr Beveridge was in
+her place.
+
+“An old soldier,” he exclaimed, gaily; “I can’t resist the temptation of
+having a canter.” And with that he started at a gallop towards the gate.
+
+With a blasphemous ejaculation Moggridge sprang from behind his tree, and
+set off down the drive in hot pursuit.
+
+Lady Alicia screamed, “Stop! stop! Francis—I mean, Mr Beveridge; stop,
+please!”
+
+But the favorite of the crack regiment, despite the lady’s saddle, sat his
+steed well, and rapidly left cries and footsteps far behind. The lodge was
+nearly half a mile away, and as the avenue wound between palisades of old
+trees, the shouts became muffled, and when he looked over his shoulder he
+saw in the stretch behind him no sign of benefactress or pursuer. By
+continued exhortations and the point of his penknife he kept his horse at
+full stretch; round the next bend he knew he should see the gates.
+
+“Five to one on the blank things being shut,” he muttered.
+
+He swept round the curve, and there ahead of him he saw the gates grimly
+closed, and at the lodge door a dismounted groom, standing beside his
+horse.
+
+Only remarking “Damn!” he reined up, turned, and trotted quietly back
+again. Presently he met Moggridge, red in the face, muddy as to his
+trousers, and panting hard.
+
+“Nice little nag this, Moggridge,” he remarked, airily.
+
+“Nice sweat you’ve give me,” rejoined his attendant, wrathfully.
+
+“You don’t mean to say you ran after me?”
+
+“I does mean to say,” Moggridge replied grimly, seizing the reins.
+
+“Want to lead him? Very well—it makes us look quite like the Derby winner
+coming in.”
+
+“Derby loser you means, thanks to them gates bein’ shut.”
+
+“Gates shut? Were they? I didn’t happen to notice.”
+
+“No, o’ course not,” said Moggridge, sarcastically; “that there sunstroke
+you got in India prevented you, I suppose?”
+
+“Have a cigar?”
+
+To this overture Moggridge made no reply. Mr Beveridge laughed and
+continued lightly, “I had no idea you were so fond of exercise. I’d have
+given you a lead all round the park if I’d known.”
+
+“You’d ’ave given me a lead all round the county if them gates ’ad been
+open.”
+
+“It might have been difficult to stop this fiery animal,” Mr Beveridge
+admitted. “But now, Moggridge, the run is over. I think I can take Lady
+Alicia’s horse back to her myself.”
+
+Moggridge smiled grimly.
+
+“You won’t let go?”
+
+“No fears.”
+
+Mr Beveridge put his hand behind his back and silently drove the penknife
+a quarter of an inch into his mount’s hind quarters. In an instant his
+keeper felt himself being lifted nearly off his feet, and in another
+actually deposited on his face. Off went the accomplished horseman again
+at top speed, but this time back to Lady Alicia. He saw her standing by
+the side of the drive, her handkerchief to her eyes, a penitent and
+disconsolate little figure. When she heard him coming, she dried her eyes
+and looked up, but her face was still tearful.
+
+“Well, I am back from my ride,” he remarked in a perfectly usual voice,
+dismounting as he spoke.
+
+“The man!” she cried, “where is that dreadful man?”
+
+“What man?” he asked in some surprise.
+
+“The man who chased you.”
+
+Mr Beveridge laughed aloud, at which Lady Alicia took fresh refuge in her
+handkerchief.
+
+“He follows on foot,” he replied.
+
+“Did he catch you? Oh, why didn’t you escape altogether?” she sobbed.
+
+Mr Beveridge looked at her with growing interest.
+
+“I had begun to forget my petticoat psychology,” he reflected (aloud,
+after his unconventional fashion).
+
+“Oh, here he comes,” she shuddered. “All blood! Oh, what have you done to
+him?”
+
+“On my honour, nothing,—I merely haven’t washed his face.”
+
+By this time Moggridge was coming close upon them.
+
+“You won’t forget a poor soldier?” said Mr Beveridge in a lower voice.
+
+There was no reply.
+
+“A _poor_ soldier,” he added, with a sigh, glancing at her from the corner
+of his eye. “So poor that even if I had got out, I could only have ridden
+till I dropped.”
+
+“Would you accept——?” she began, timidly.
+
+“What day?” he interrupted, hurriedly.
+
+“Tuesday,” she hesitated.
+
+“Four o’clock, again. Same place as before. When I whistle throw it over
+at once.”
+
+Before they had time to say more, Moggridge, blood- and gravel-stained,
+came up.
+
+“It’s all right, miss,” he said, coming between them; “I’ll see that he
+plays no more of ’is tricks. There’s nothin’ to be afrightened of.”
+
+“Stand back!” she cried; “don’t come near me!”
+
+Moggridge was too staggered at this outburst to say a word.
+
+“Stand away!” she said, and the bewildered attendant stood away. She
+turned to Mr Beveridge.
+
+“Now, will you help me up?”
+
+She mounted lightly, said a brief farewell, and, forgetting all about the
+call at Clankwood she had ostensibly come to pay, turned her horse’s head
+towards the lodge.
+
+“Well, I’m blowed!” said Moggridge.
+
+“They do blow one,” his patient assented.
+
+Naturally enough the story of this equestrian adventure soon ran through
+Clankwood. The exact particulars, however, were a little hard to collect,
+for while Moggridge supplied many minute and picturesque details,
+illustrating his own activity and presence of mind and the imminent peril
+of the Lady Alicia, Mr Beveridge recounted an equally vivid story of a
+runaway horse recovered by himself to its fair owner’s unbounded
+gratitude. Official opinion naturally accepted the official account, and
+for the next few days Mr Beveridge became an object of considerable
+anxiety and mistrust.
+
+“I can’t make the man out,” said Sherlaw to Escott. “I had begun to think
+there was nothing much the matter with him.”
+
+“No more there is,” replied Escott. “His memory seems to me to have
+suffered from something, and he simply supplies its place in conversation
+from his imagination, and in action from the inspiration of the moment.
+The methods of society are too orthodox for such an aberration, and as his
+friends doubtless pay a handsome fee to keep him here, old Congers labels
+him mad and locks the door on him.”
+
+A day or two afterwards official opinion was a little disturbed. Lady
+Alicia, in reply to anxious inquiries, gave a third version of the
+adventure, from which nothing in particular could be gathered except that
+nothing in particular had happened.
+
+“What do you make of this, Escott?” asked Dr Congleton, laying her note
+before his assistant.
+
+“Merely that a woman wrote it.”
+
+“Hum! I suppose that _is_ the explanation.”
+
+Upon which the doctor looked profound and went to lunch.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+“Two five-pound notes, half-a-sovereign, and seven and sixpence in
+silver,” said Mr Beveridge to himself. “Ah, and a card.”
+
+On the card was written, “From a friend, if you will accept it. A.”
+
+He was standing under the wall, in the secluded walk, holding a little
+lady’s purse in his hand, and listening to two different footsteps. One
+little pair of feet were hurrying away on the farther side of the high
+wall, another and larger were approaching him at a run.
+
+“Wot’s he bin up to now, I wonder,” Moggridge panted to himself—for the
+second pair of feet belonged to him. “Shamming nose-bleed and sending me
+in for an ’andkerchief, and then sneaking off here by ’isself!”
+
+“What a time you’ve been,” said Mr Beveridge, slipping the purse with its
+contents into his pocket. “I was so infernally cold I had to take a little
+walk. Got the handkerchief?”
+
+In silence and with a suspicious solemnity Moggridge handed him the
+handkerchief, and they turned back for the house.
+
+“Now for a balloon,” Mr Beveridge reflected.
+
+Certainly it was cold. The frost nipped sharp that night, and next morning
+there were ice gardens on the windows, and the park lay white all through
+the winter sunshine.
+
+By evening the private lake was reported to be bearing, and the next day
+it hummed under the first skaters. Hardly necessary to say Mr Beveridge
+was among the earliest of them, or that he was at once the object of
+general admiration and envy. He traced “vines” and “Q’s,” and performed
+wonderful feats on one leg all morning. At lunch he was in the best of
+spirits, and was off again at once to the ice.
+
+When he reached the lake in the afternoon the first person he spied was
+Lady Alicia, and five minutes afterwards they were sailing off together
+hand in hand.
+
+“I knew you would come to-day,” he remarked.
+
+“How _could_ you have known? It was by the merest chance I happened to
+come.”
+
+“It has always been by the merest chance that any of them have ever come.”
+
+“Who have ever come?” she inquired, with a vague feeling that he had said
+something he ought not to have, and that she was doing the same.
+
+“Many things,” he smiled, “including purses. Which reminds me that I am
+eternally your debtor.”
+
+She blushed and said, “I hope you didn’t mind.”
+
+“Not much,” he answered, candidly. “In my present circumstances a
+five-pound note is more acceptable than a caress.”
+
+The Lady Alicia again remembered the maidenly proprieties, and tried to
+change the subject.
+
+“What beautiful ice!” she said.
+
+“The question now is,” he continued, paying no heed to this diversion,
+“what am I to do next?”
+
+“What do you mean?” she asked a little faintly, realising dimly that she
+was being regarded as a fellow-conspirator in some unlawful project.
+
+“The wall is high, there is bottle-glass on the top, and I shall find it
+hard to bring away a fresh pair of trousers, and probably draughty if I
+don’t. The gates are always kept closed, and it isn’t worth any one’s
+while to open them for £10, 17s. 6d., less the price of a first-class
+ticket up to town. What are we to do?”
+
+“We?” she gasped.
+
+“You and I,” he explained.
+
+“But—but I can’t _possibly_ do anything.”
+
+“ ‘Can’t possibly’ is a phrase I have learned to misunderstand.”
+
+“Really, Mr Beveridge, I mustn’t do anything.”
+
+“Mustn’t is an invariable preface to a sin. Never use it; it’s a
+temptation in itself.”
+
+“It wouldn’t be right,” she said, with quite a show of firmness.
+
+He looked at her a little curiously. For a moment he almost seemed
+puzzled. Then he pressed her hand and asked tenderly, “Why not?”
+
+And in a half-audible aside he added, “That’s the correct move, I think.”
+
+“What did you say?” she asked.
+
+“I said, ‘Why not?’ ” he answered, with increasing tenderness.
+
+“But you said something else.”
+
+“I added a brief prayer for pity.”
+
+Lady Alicia sighed and repeated a little less firmly. “It wouldn’t be
+right of me, Mr Beveridge.”
+
+“But what would be wrong?”
+
+This was said with even more fervour.
+
+“My conscience—we are very particular, you know.”
+
+“Who are ‘we’?”
+
+“Papa is _very_ strict High Church.”
+
+An idea seemed to strike Mr Beveridge, for he ruminated in silence.
+
+“I asked Mr Candles—our curate, you know,” Lady Alicia continued, with a
+heroic effort to make her position clear.
+
+“You told him!” he exclaimed.
+
+“Oh, I didn’t say who it was—I mean what it was I thought of doing—I mean
+the temptation—that is, the possibility. And he said it was very kind of
+me to think of it; but I mustn’t do anything, and he advised me to read a
+book he gave me, and—and I mustn’t think of it, really, Mr Beveridge.”
+
+To himself Mr Beveridge repeated under his breath, “Archbishops, bishops,
+deacons, curates, fast in Lent, and an anthem after the Creed. I think I
+remember enough to pass.”
+
+Then he assumed a very serious face, and said aloud, “Your scruples do
+your heart credit. They have given me an insight into your deep and sweet
+character, which emboldens me to make a confession.”
+
+He stopped skating, folded his arms, and continued unblushingly, “I was
+educated for the Church, but the prejudices of my parents, the immature
+scepticism of youth, and some uncertainty about obtaining my
+archbishopric, induced me in an unfortunate moment, which I never ceased
+to bitterly regret, to quit my orders.”
+
+“You are in orders?” she exclaimed.
+
+“I was in several. I cancelled them, and entered the Navy instead.”
+
+“The Navy?” she asked, excusably bewildered by these rapid changes of
+occupation.
+
+“For five years I was never ashore.”
+
+“But,” she hesitated—“but you said you were in the Army.”
+
+Mr Beveridge gave her a look full of benignant compassion that made her,
+she did not quite know why, feel terribly abashed.
+
+“My regiment was quartered at sea,” he condescended to explain. “But in
+time my conscience awoke. I announced my intention of resuming my charge.
+My uncle was furious. My enemies were many. I was seized, thrown into this
+prison-house, and now my only friend fails me.”
+
+They were both silent. She ventured once to glance up at his face, and it
+seemed to her that his eyes were moist—though perhaps it was that her own
+were a little dim.
+
+“Let us skate on,” he said abruptly, with a fine air of resignation.
+
+“By the way,” he suddenly added, “I was extremely High Church, in fact
+almost freezingly high.”
+
+For five minutes they skated in silence, then Lady Alicia began softly,
+“Supposing you—you went away——”
+
+“What is the use of talking of it?” he exclaimed, melodramatically. “Let
+me forget my short-lived hopes!”
+
+“You _have_ a friend,” she said, slowly.
+
+“A friend who tantalises me by ‘supposings’!”
+
+“But supposing you did, Mr Beveridge, would you go back to your—did you
+say you had a parish?”
+
+“I had: a large, populous, and happy parish. It is my one dream to sit
+once more on its council and direct my curate.”
+
+“Of course that makes a difference. Mr Candles didn’t know all this.”
+
+They had come by this time to the corner of a little island that lay not
+far from the shore; in the channel ahead a board labelled “Danger” marked
+a hidden spring; behind them the shining ice was almost bare of skaters,
+for all but Dr Escott seemed to be leaving; on the bank they could see
+Moggridge prowling about in the gathering dusk, a vigilant reminder of
+captivity. Mr Beveridge took the whole scene in with, it is to be feared,
+a militant rather than an episcopal eye. Then he suddenly asked, “Are you
+alone?”
+
+“Yes.”
+
+“You drive back?”
+
+“Ye—es.”
+
+He took out his watch and made a brief calculation.
+
+“Go now, call at Clankwood or do anything else you like, and pass down the
+drive again at a quarter to five.”
+
+This sudden pinning of her irresolution almost took Lady Alicia’s breath
+away.
+
+“But I never said——” she began.
+
+“My dear friend,” he interrupted, “in the hour of action only a fool ever
+says. Come on.”
+
+And while she still hesitated they were off again.
+
+“But——” she tried to expostulate.
+
+“My dearest friend,” he whispered, “and my dear old vicarage!”
+
+He gave her no time to protest. Her skates were off, she was on her way to
+her carriage, and he was striking out again for the middle of the lake
+before she had time to collect her wits.
+
+He took out his watch and looked at the time. It was nearly a quarter-past
+four. Then he came up to Escott, who by this time was the only other soul
+on the ice.
+
+“About time we were going in,” said Escott.
+
+“Give me half-an-hour more. I’ll show you how to do that vine you
+admired.”
+
+“All right,” assented the doctor.
+
+A minute or two later Mr Beveridge, as if struck by a sudden reflection,
+exclaimed, “By Jove, there’s that poor devil Moggridge freezing to death
+on shore. Can’t you manage to look after so dangerous a lunatic yourself?
+It is his tea-time, too.”
+
+“Hallo, so he is,” replied Escott; “I’ll send him up.”
+
+And so there were only left the two men on the ice.
+
+For a little the lesson went on, and presently, leaving the doctor to
+practise, Mr Beveridge skated away by himself. He first paused opposite a
+seat on the bank over which hung Dr Escott’s great fur coat. This
+spectacle appeared to afford him peculiar pleasure. Then he looked at his
+watch. It was half-past four. He shut the watch with a click, threw a
+glance at his pupil, and struck out for the island. If the doctor had been
+looking, he might have seen him round it in the gloaming.
+
+Dr Escott, leaning far on his outside edge, met him as he returned.
+
+“What’s that under your coat?” he asked.
+
+“A picture I intend to ask your opinion on presently,” replied Mr
+Beveridge; and he added, with his most charming air, “But now, before we
+go in, let me give you a ride on one of these chairs, doctor.”
+
+They started off, the pace growing faster and faster, and presently Dr
+Escott saw that they were going behind the island.
+
+“Look out for the spring!” he cried.
+
+“It must be bearing now,” replied Mr Beveridge, striking out harder than
+ever; “they have taken away the board.”
+
+“All right,” said the doctor, “on you go.”
+
+As he spoke he felt a violent push, and the chair, slewing round as it
+went, flew on its course unguided. Mr Beveridge’s skates rasped on the ice
+with a spray of white powder as he stopped himself suddenly. Ahead of him
+there was a rending crack, and Dr Escott and his chair disappeared. Mr
+Beveridge laughed cheerfully, and taking from under his coat a board with
+the legend “Danger” printed in large characters across its face, he placed
+it beside the jagged hole.
+
+“Here is the picture, doctor,” he said, as a dripping, gasping head came
+up for the second time. “I must ask a thousand pardons for this—shall I
+say, liberty? But, as you know, I’m off my head. Good night. Let me
+recommend a hot drink when you come out. There are only five feet of
+water, so you won’t drown.” And with that he skated rapidly away.
+
+Escott had a glimpse of him vanishing round the corner of the island, and
+then the ice broke again, and down he went. Four, five, six times he made
+a desperate effort to get out, and every time the thin ice tore under his
+hands, and he slipped back again. By the seventh attempt he had broken his
+way to the thicker sheet; he got one leg up, slipped, got it up again, and
+at last, half numbed and wholly breathless, he was crawling circumspectly
+away. When at last he ventured to rise to his feet, he skated with all the
+speed he could make to the seat where he had left his coat. A pair of
+skates lay there instead, but the coat had vanished. Dr Escott’s
+philosophical estimate of Mr Beveridge became considerably modified.
+
+“Thank the Lord, he can’t get out of the grounds,” he said to himself;
+“what a dangerous devil he is! But he’ll be sorry for this performance, or
+I’m mistaken.”
+
+When he arrived at the house his first inquiries were for his tutor in the
+art of vine-cutting, and he was rather surprised to hear that he had not
+yet returned, for he only imagined himself the victim of a peculiarly
+ill-timed practical joke.
+
+Men with lanterns were sent out to search the park; and still there was no
+sign of Mr Beveridge. Inquiries were made at the lodge, but the gatekeeper
+could swear that only a single carriage had passed through. Dr Congleton
+refused at first to believe that he could possibly have got out.
+
+“Our arrangements are perfect,—the thing’s absurd,” he said, peremptorily.
+
+“That there man, sir,” replied Moggridge, who had been summoned, “is the
+slipperiest customer as ever I seed. ’E’s hout, sir, I believe.”
+
+“We might at least try the stations,” suggested Escott, who had by this
+time changed, and indulged in the hot drink recommended.
+
+The doctor began to be a little shaken.
+
+“Well, well,” said he, “I’ll send a man to each of the three stations
+within walking distance; and whether he’s out or in, we’ll have him by
+to-morrow morning. I’ve always taken care that he had no money in his
+pockets.”
+
+But what is a doctor’s care against a woman’s heart? For many to-morrows
+Clankwood had to lament the loss of the gifted Francis Beveridge.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+At sixteen minutes to five Mr Beveridge stood by the side of the Clankwood
+Avenue, comfortably wrapped in Dr Escort’s fur coat, and smoking with the
+greatest relish one of Dr Escott’s undeniable cigars.
+
+It was almost dark, the air bit keen, the dim park with its population of
+black trees was filled with a frosty, eager stillness. All round the
+invisible wall hemmed him in, the ten pounds, seventeen shillings, and
+sixpence lay useless in his pocket till that was past, and his one hope
+depended on a woman. But Mr Beveridge was an amateur in the sex, and he
+smiled complacently as he smoked.
+
+He had waited barely three minutes when the quick clatter of a pair of
+horses fell on his ears, and presently the lights of a carriage and pair,
+driving swiftly away from Clankwood, raked the drive on either side. As
+they rattled up to him he gave a shout to the coachman to stop, and
+stepped right in front of the horses. With something that sounded unlike a
+blessing, the pair were thrown almost on their haunches to check them in
+time. Never stopping to explain, he threw open the door and sprang in; the
+coachman, hearing no sound of protest, whipped up again, and Mr Beveridge
+found himself rolling through the park of Clankwood in the Countess of
+Grillyer’s carriage with a very timid little figure by his side. Even in
+that moment of triumphant excitement the excellence of his manners was
+remarkable: the first thing he said was, “Do you mind smoking?”
+
+In her confusion of mind Lady Alicia could only reply “Oh no,” and not
+till some time afterwards did she remember that the odour of a cigar was
+clinging and the Countess’s nose unusually sensitive.
+
+After this first remark he leaned back in silence, gradually filling the
+carriage with a blue-grey cloud, and looking out of the windows first on
+one side and then on the other. They passed quickly through the lines of
+trees and the open spaces of frosty park-land, they drew up at the lodge
+for a moment, he heard his prison gates swing open, the harness jingled
+and the hoofs began to clatter again, a swift vision of lighted windows
+and a man looking on them incuriously swept by, and then they were rolling
+over a country road between hedgerows and under the free stars.
+
+It was the Lady Alicia who spoke first.
+
+“I never thought you would really come,” she said.
+
+“I have been waiting for that remark,” he replied, with his most
+irresistible smile; “now for some more practical conversation.”
+
+As he did not immediately begin this conversation himself, her curiosity
+overcame her, and she asked, “How did you manage to get out?”
+
+“As my friend Dr Escott offered no opposition, I walked away.”
+
+“Did he really let you?”
+
+“He never even expostulated.”
+
+“Then—then it’s all right?” she said, with an inexplicable sensation of
+disappointment.
+
+“Perfectly—so far.”
+
+“But—didn’t they object?”
+
+“Not yet,” he replied; “objections to my movements are generally made
+after they have been performed.”
+
+Somehow she felt immensely relieved at this hint of opposition.
+
+“I’m so glad you got away,” she whispered, and then repented in a flutter.
+
+“Not more so than I am,” he answered, pressing her hand.
+
+“And now,” he added, “I should like to know how near Ashditch Junction you
+propose to take me.”
+
+“Where are you going to, Mr Beveridge?”
+
+The “Mr Beveridge” was thrown in as a corrective to the hand-pressure.
+
+“To London; where else, my Alicia? With £10, 17s. 6d. in my pocket, I
+shall be able to eat at least three good dinners, and, by the third of
+them, if I haven’t fallen on my feet it will be the first time I have
+descended so unluckily.”
+
+“But,” she asked, considerably disconcerted, “I thought you were going
+back to your parish.”
+
+For a moment he too seemed a trifle put about. Then he replied readily,
+“So I am, as soon as I have purchased the necessary outfit, restocked my
+ecclesiastical library, and called on my bishop.”
+
+She felt greatly relieved at this justification of her share in the
+adventure.
+
+“Drop me at the nearest point to the station,” he said.
+
+“I am afraid,” she began—“I mean I think you had better get out soon. The
+first road on the right will take you straight there, and we had better
+not pass it.”
+
+“Then I must bid you farewell,” and he sighed most effectively. “Farewell,
+my benefactress, my dear Alicia! Shall I ever see you, shall I ever hear
+of you again?”
+
+“I might—I might just write once; if you will answer it: I mean if you
+would care to hear from such a——”
+
+She found it difficult to finish, and prudently stopped.
+
+“Thanks,” he replied cheerfully; “do,—I shall live in hopes. I’d better
+stop the carriage now.”
+
+He let down the window, when she said hastily, “But I don’t know your
+address.”
+
+He reflected for an instant. “Care of the Archbishop of York will always
+find me,” he replied; and as if unwilling to let his emotion be observed,
+he immediately put his head out of the window and called on the coachman
+to stop.
+
+“Good-bye,” he whispered, tenderly, squeezing her fingers with one hand
+and opening the door with the other.
+
+“Don’t quite forget me,” she whispered back.
+
+“Never!” he replied, and was in the act of getting out when he suddenly
+turned, and exclaimed, “I must be more out of practice than I thought; I
+had almost forgotten the protested salute.”
+
+And without further preamble the Lady Alicia found herself kissed at last.
+
+He jumped out and shut the door, and the carriage with its faint halo
+clattered into the darkness.
+
+“They are wonderfully alike,” he reflected.
+
+About twenty minutes later he walked leisurely into Ashditch Junction, and
+having singled out the station-master, he accosted him with an air of
+beneficient consideration and inquired how soon he could catch a train for
+London.
+
+It appeared that the up express was not due for nearly three-quarters of
+an hour.
+
+“A little too long to wait,” he said to himself, as he turned up the
+collar of his purloined fur coat to keep out the cold, and picked another
+cigar from its rightful owner’s case.
+
+By way of further defying the temperature and cementing his acquaintance
+with the station-master, he offered to regale that gratified official with
+such refreshments as the station bar provided. In the consumption of
+whiskies-and-sodas (a beverage difficult to obtain in any quantity at
+Clankwood) Mr Beveridge showed himself as accomplished as in every other
+feat. In thirty-five minutes he had despatched no fewer than six, besides
+completely winning the station-master’s heart. As he had little more than
+five minutes now to wait, he bade a genial farewell to the lady behind the
+bar, and started to purchase his ticket.
+
+Hardly had he left the door of the refreshment-room when he perceived an
+uncomfortably familiar figure just arrived, breathless with running, on
+the opposite platform. The light of a lamp fell on his shining face: it
+was Moggridge!
+
+A stout heart might be forgiven for sinking at the sight, but Mr Beveridge
+merely turned to his now firm friends and said with his easiest air, “On
+the opposite platform I perceive one of my runaway lunatics. Bring a
+couple of stout porters as quickly as you can, for he is a person of much
+strength and address. My name,” he drew a card-case from the pocket of his
+fur coat, “is, as you see, Dr Escott of Clankwood.”
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge, after hurriedly investigating the platform he was on,
+suddenly spied a tall fur-coated figure on the opposite side. Without a
+moment’s hesitation he sprang on to the rails, and had just mounted the
+other side as the station-master and two porters appeared.
+
+Seeing his allies by his side Mr Beveridge never said a word, but,
+throwing off his hat, he lowered his head, charged his keeper, and picking
+him up by the knees threw him heavily on his back. Before he had a chance
+of recovering himself the other three were seated on his chest employed in
+winding a coil of rope round and round his prostrate form.
+
+Two minutes later Moggridge was sitting bound hand and foot in the booking
+office, addressing an amused audience in a strain of perhaps excusable
+exasperation, which however merely served to impress the Ashditch
+officials with a growing sense of their address in capturing so dangerous
+a lunatic. In the middle of this entertaining scene the London express
+steamed in, and Mr Beveridge, courteously thanking the station-master for
+his assistance, stepped into a first-class carriage.
+
+“I should be much obliged,” he said, leaning on the door of his
+compartment and blowing the smoke of Dr Escott’s last Havannah lightly
+from his lips, “if you would be kind enough to keep that poor fellow in
+the station till to-morrow. It is rather too late to send him back now.
+Good night, and many thanks.”
+
+He pressed a coin into the station-master’s hand, which that disappointed
+official only discovered on emptying his pockets at night to be an
+ordinary sixpence, the guard whistled, and one by one, smoothly and slowly
+and then in a bright stream, the station lamps slipped by. The last of
+them flitted into the night, and the train swung and rattled by a mile a
+minute nearer to London town and farther from the high stone wall. There
+was no other stop, and for a long hour the adventurer sat with his legs
+luxuriously stretched along the cushions looking out into a fainter
+duplicate of his carriage, pierced now and then by the glitter of brighter
+points as they whisked by some wayside village, or crossed by the black
+shadows of trees. The whole time he smiled contentedly, doubtless at the
+prospect of his parish work. All at once he seemed stirred, and, turning
+in his seat, laid his face upon the window, and pulled down the blind
+behind his head, so that he could see into the night. He had spied the
+first bright filaments of London. Quickly they spread into a twinkling
+network, and then as quickly were shut out by the first line of suburb
+houses; through the gaps they grew nearer and flared cheerfully; the train
+hooted over an archway, and in the road below he had a glimpse of shop
+windows and crowded pavements and moving omnibuses: he was in the world
+again, and at the foretaste of all this life he laughed like a delighted
+child. Last of all came the spread of shining rails and the red and yellow
+lights of many signals, and then the high glass roof and long lamp-lit
+platforms of St Euston’s Cross.
+
+Unencumbered by luggage or plans, Mr Francis Beveridge stuck his hands
+deep in his pockets and strolled aimlessly enough out of the station into
+the tideway of the Euston Road. For a little he stood stock-still on the
+pavement watching the throng of people and the perpetual buses and drays
+and the jingling hansoms picking their way through it all.
+
+“For a man of brains,” he moralised, “even though he be certified as
+insane, for probably the best of reasons, this London has surely fools
+enough to provide him with all he needs and more than he deserves. I shall
+set out with my lantern like a second Diogenes to look for a foolish man.”
+
+And so he strolled along again to the first opening southwards. That led
+him through a region of dingy enough brick by day, but decked now with its
+string of lamps and bright shop-windows here and there, and kept alive by
+passing buses and cabs going and coming from the station. Farther on the
+street grew gloomier, and a dark square with a grove of trees in the
+middle opened off one side; but, rattle or quiet, flaring shops or
+sad-looking lodgings, he found it all too fresh and amusing to hurry.
+
+“Back to my parish again,” he said to himself, smiling broadly at the
+drollery of the idea. “If I’m caught to-morrow, I’ll at least have one
+merry night in my wicked, humorous old charge.”
+
+He reached Holborn and turned west in the happiest and most enviable of
+moods; the very policemen seemed to cast a friendly eye on him; the frosty
+air, he thought, made the lights burn brighter and the crowd move more
+briskly than ever he had seen them. Suddenly the sight of a hairdresser’s
+saloon brought an inspiration. He stroked his beard, twisted his
+moustaches half regretfully, and then exclaiming, “Exit Mr Beveridge,”
+turned into the shop.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART II.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolf von Blitzenberg sat by himself at a table in the
+dining-room of the Hôtel Mayonaise, which, as everybody knows, is the
+largest and most expensive in London. He was a young man of a florid and
+burly Teutonic type and the most ingenuous countenance. Being possessed of
+a curious and enterprising disposition, as well as the most ample means,
+he had left his ancestral castle in Bavaria to study for a few months the
+customs and politics of England. In the language he was already
+proficient, and he had promised himself an amusing as well as an
+instructive visit. But, although he had only arrived in London that
+morning, he was already beginning to feel an uncomfortable apprehension
+lest in both respects he should be disappointed. Though his introductions
+were the best with which the British Ambassador could supply him, they
+were only three or four in number,—for, not wishing to be hampered with
+too many acquaintances, he had rather chosen quality than quantity: and
+now, in the course of the afternoon, he had found to his chagrin that in
+every case the families were out of town. In fact, so far as he could
+learn, they were not even at their own country seats. One was abroad,
+another gone to the seaside to recover from the mumps, or a third paying a
+round of visits.
+
+The disappointment was sharp, he felt utterly at sea as to what he should
+do, and he was already beginning to experience the loneliness of a single
+mortal in a crowded hotel.
+
+As the frosty evening was setting in and the shops were being lit, he had
+strolled out into the streets in the vague hope of meeting some strange
+foreign adventure, or perhaps even happily lighting upon some
+half-forgotten diplomatic acquaintance. But he found the pavements crowded
+with a throng who took no notice of him at all, but seemed every man and
+most women of them to be pushing steadily, and generally silently, towards
+a million mysterious goals. Not that he could tell they were silent except
+by their set lips, for the noise of wheels and horses on so many hundreds
+of miles of streets, and the cries of busmen and vendors of evening
+papers, made such a hubbub that he felt before long in a maze. He lost his
+way four times, and was patronisingly set right by beneficent policemen;
+and at last, feeling like a man who has fallen off a precipice on to a
+soft place—none the worse but quite bewildered—he struggled back to his
+hotel. There he spun out his time by watching the people come and go, and
+at last dressed with extra deliberation.
+
+About eight o’clock he sat down to his solitary dinner. The great gilt and
+panelled room was full of diners and bustling waiters, but there was not a
+face the Baron had ever seen before. He was just finishing a plate of
+whitebait when he observed a stranger enter the room and stroll in a very
+self-possessed manner down the middle, glancing at the tables round him as
+though he was looking either for a friend or a desirable seat. This
+gentleman was tall, fair, and clean-shaved; he was dressed in a suit of
+well-fitting tweeds, and his air impressed the Baron as being natural and
+yet distinguished. At last his eye fell upon the Baron, who felt conscious
+of undergoing a quick, critical scrutiny. The table at which that nobleman
+sat was laid for two, and coming apparently to a sudden resolution, the
+good-looking stranger seated himself in the vacant chair. In an agreeable
+voice and with an unmistakably well-bred air he asked a waiter for the
+wine-list, and then, like a man with an excellent appetite, fell to upon
+the various _hors d’œuvres_, the entire collection of which, in fact, he
+consumed in a wonderfully short space of time. The Baron, being himself no
+trifler with his victuals, regarded this feat with sympathetic approval,
+and began to feel a little less alone in the world. His naturally open
+disposition was warmed besides, owing to a slight misconception he had
+fallen into, perfectly excusable however in a foreigner. He thought he had
+read somewhere that port was the usual accompaniment to the first courses
+of an English dinner, and as his waiter had been somewhat dilatory in
+bringing him the more substantial items of the repast, he had already
+drunk three claret-glasses of this cheering wine. The chill recollections
+of his sixteen quarterings and the exclusiveness he had determined to
+maintain as becoming to his rank were already melting, and he met the
+stranger’s eye with what for the life of him he could not help being a
+cordial look.
+
+His _vis-à-vis_ caught the glance, smiled back, and immediately asked,
+with the most charming politeness, “Do you care, sir, to split a bottle of
+champagne?”
+
+“To—er—_shplid?_” said the Baron, with a disappointed consciousness of
+having been put at a loss in his English by the very first man who had
+spoken to him.
+
+“I beg your pardon,—I am afraid I was unintelligibly idiomatic. To divide,
+I should say, you consuming one-half, I the other. Am I clear, sir?”
+
+For a moment the Baron was a little taken aback, and then recollecting
+that the dining habits of the English were still new to him, he concluded
+that the suggestion was probably a customary act of courtesy. He had
+already come to the conclusion that the gentleman must be a person of
+rank, and he replied affably, “Yah—zat is, vid pleasure. Zanks, very.”
+
+“The pleasure is mine,” said the stranger—“and half the bottle,” he added,
+smiling.
+
+The Baron, whose perception of humour had been abnormally increased by
+this time, laughed hilariously at the infection of his new acquaintance’s
+smile.
+
+“Goot, goot!” he cried. “Ach, yah, zo.”
+
+“Am I right, sir, in supposing that, despite the perfection of your
+English accent, I cannot be fortunate enough to claim you as a
+countryman?” asked the stranger.
+
+The Baron’s resolutions of reticence had vanished altogether before such
+unexpected and (he could not but think) un-English friendliness. He
+unburdened his heart with a rush.
+
+“You have ze right. I am Deutsch. I have gom to England zis day for to
+lairn and to amuse myself. But mein, vat you call?—introdogtions zey are
+not inside, zat is zey are from off. Not von, all, every single gone to ze
+gontry or to abroad. I am alone, I eat my dinner in zolitude, I am pleased
+to meet you, sare.”
+
+A cork popped and the champagne frothed into the stranger’s glass. Raising
+it to his lips, he said, “Prosit!”
+
+“Prosit!” responded the Baron, enthusiastically. “You know ze Deutsch,
+sare?”
+
+“I am safer in English, I confess.”
+
+“Ach, das ist goot, I vant for to practeese. Ve vill talk English.”
+
+“With all my heart,” said the stranger. “I, too, am alone, and I hold
+myself more than fortunate in making your acquaintance. It’s a devilish
+dull world when one can’t share a bottle—or a brace of them, for the
+matter of that.”
+
+“You know London?” asked the Baron.
+
+“I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive.”
+
+“I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom, as I say, to-day.”
+
+“With pleasure,” said the stranger, readily. “In fact, if you are ever
+disengaged I may possibly be able to act as showman.”
+
+“Showman!” roared the Baron, thinking he had discovered a jest. “Ha, ha,
+ha! Goot, zehr goot!”
+
+The other looked a trifle astonished for an instant, and then as he sipped
+his champagne an expression of intense satisfaction came over his face.
+
+“I can put away my lantern,” he said to himself,—“I have found him.”
+
+“May I have the boldness to ask your name, sir?” he asked aloud.
+
+“Ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,” that nobleman replied. “Yours,
+sare—may I dare?”
+
+“Francis Bunker, at your service, Baron.”
+
+“You are noble?” queried the Baron a little anxiously, for his prejudices
+on this point were strong.
+
+“According to your standard I believe I may say so. That’s to say, my
+family have borne arms for two hundred odd generations; twenty-five per
+cent of them have died of good living; and the most malicious have never
+accused us of brains. I myself may not be very typical, but I assure you
+it isn’t my ancestors’ fault.”
+
+The latter part of this explanation entirely puzzled the Baron. The first
+statement, though eminently satisfactory, was also a little bewildering.
+
+“Two hondred generations?” he asked, courteously. “Zat is a vary old
+family. All bore arms you say, Mistair Bonker?”
+
+“All,” replied Mr Bunker, gravely. “The first few bore tails as well.”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the Baron. “You are a fonny man I pairceive, vat you
+call clown, yes?”
+
+“What my friends call clown, and I call wit,” Mr Bunker corrected.
+
+“Vit! Ha, ha, ha!” roared the Baron, whose mind was now in an El Dorado of
+humour when jokes grew like daisies. His loneliness had disappeared as if
+by magic; as course succeeded course his contentment showed itself in a
+perpetually beaming smile: he ceased to worry even about his friend’s
+pedigree, convinced in his mind that manners so delightful and
+distinguished could only result from repeated quarterings and unoccupied
+forefathers. Yet by the time dessert arrived and he had again returned to
+his port, he began to feel an extreme curiosity to know more concerning Mr
+Bunker. He himself had volunteered a large quantity of miscellaneous
+information: about Bavaria, its customs and its people, more especially
+the habits and history of the Blitzenberg family; about himself, his
+parentage and education; all about his family ghost, his official position
+as hereditary carpet-beater to the Bavarian Court, and many other things
+equally entertaining and instructive. Mr Bunker, for his part, had so far
+confined his confidences to his name.
+
+“My dear Bonker,” said the Baron at last—he had become quite familiar by
+this time—“vat make you in London? I fear you are bird of passage. Do you
+stay long?”
+
+Mr Bunker cracked a nut, looking very serious; then he leant on one elbow,
+glanced up at the ceiling pensively, and sighed.
+
+“I hope I do not ask vat I should not,” the Baron interposed, courteously.
+
+“My dear Baron, ask what you like,” replied Mr Bunker. “In a city full of
+strangers, or of friends who have forgotten me, you alone have my
+confidence. My story is a common one of youthful folly and present
+repentance, but such as it is, you are welcome to it.”
+
+The Baron gulped down half a glass of port and leaned forward
+sympathetically.
+
+“My father,” Mr Bunker continued with an air of half-sad reminiscence, “is
+one of the largest landowners and the head of one of the most ancient
+families in the north of England. I was his eldest son and heir. I am
+still, I have every reason to believe, his eldest son, but my heirship, I
+regret to say, is more doubtful. I spent a prodigal youth and a larger sum
+of money than my poor father approved of. He was a strict though a kind
+parent, and for the good of my health and the replenishment of the family
+coffers, which had been sadly drained by my extravagance, he sent me
+abroad. There I have led a roving life for the last six years, and at
+last, my wild oats sown, reaped, and gathered in (and a well-filled
+stackyard they made, I can assure you), I decided to return to England and
+become an ornament to respectable society. Like you, I arrived in London
+to-day, but only to find to my disgust that my family have gone to winter
+in Egypt. So you see that at present I am like a shipwrecked sailor
+clinging to a rock and waiting, with what patience I can muster, for a
+boat to take me off.”
+
+“You mean,” inquired the Baron, anxiously, “that you vish to go to Egypt
+at vonce?”
+
+“I had thought of it; though there is a difficulty in the way, I admit.”
+
+“You vill not stay zen here?” “My dear Baron, why should I? I have neither
+friends nor——”
+
+He stopped abruptly.
+
+“I do not like to zink I shall lose your company so soon.”
+
+“I admit,” allowed Mr Bunker, “that this fortunate meeting tempts me to
+stay.”
+
+“Vy not?” said the Baron, cordially. “Can your fader not vait to see you?”
+
+“I hardly think he will worry about me, I confess.”
+
+“Zen stay, my goot Bonker!”
+
+“Unfortunately there is the same difficulty as stands in the way of my
+going to Egypt.”
+
+“And may I inquire vat zat is?”
+
+“To tell you the truth,” replied Mr Bunker, with an air of reluctant
+candour, “my funds are rather low. I had trusted to finding my father at
+home, but as he isn’t, why——” he shrugged his shoulders and threw himself
+back in his chair.
+
+The Baron seemed struck with an idea which he hesitated to express.
+
+“Shall we smoke?” his friend suggested.
+
+“Vaiter!” cried the Baron, “bring here two best cigars and two coffee!”
+
+“A liqueur, Baron?”
+
+“Ach, yah. Vat for you?”
+
+“A liqueur brandy suggests itself.”
+
+“Vaiter! and two brandy.”
+
+“And now,” said the Baron, “I haf an idea, Bonker.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, as I have said, had a warm heart. He
+was, besides, alone in one hundred and twenty square miles of strangers
+and foreigners when he had happened upon this congenial spirit. He began
+in a tone of the most ingenuous friendliness—
+
+“I haf no friends here. My introdogtions zey are gone. Bot I haf moch
+money, and I vish a, vat you say?—showman, ha, ha, ha! You haf too leetle
+money and no friends and you can show. You show and I will loan you vat
+you vish. May I dare to suggest?”
+
+“My dear Baron!”
+
+“My goot Bonker! I am in airnest, I assure. Vy not? It is vun gentleman
+and anozzer.”
+
+“You are far too kind.”
+
+“It is to myself I am kind, zen. I vant a guide, a frient. It is a loan.
+Do not scruple. Ven your fader goms you can pay if you please. It is
+nozing to me.”
+
+“Well, my dear Baron,” said Mr Bunker, like a man persuaded against his
+will, “what can I say? I confess I might find a little difficulty in
+replenishing my purse without resorting to disagreeable means, and if you
+really wish my society, why——”
+
+“Zen it is a bairgain?” cried the Baron.
+
+“If you insist——”
+
+“I insist. Vaiter! Alzo two ozzer liqueur. Ve most drink to ze bairgain,
+Bonker.”
+
+They pledged each other cordially, and talked from that moment like old
+friends. The Baron was thoroughly pleased with himself, and Mr Bunker
+seemed no less gratified at his own good fortune. Half an hour went
+quickly by, and then the Baron exclaimed, “Let us do zomzing to-night,
+Bonker. I burn for to begin zis show of London.”
+
+“What would you care to do, Baron? It is rather late, I am afraid, to
+think of a theatre. What do you say to a music-hall?”
+
+“Music-hall? I haf seen zem at home. Damned amusing, das ist ze
+expression, yes?”
+
+“It is a perfect description.”
+
+“Bot,” continued the Baron, solemnly, “I must not begin vid ze vickedest.”
+
+“And yet,” replied his friend, persuasively, “even wickedness needs a
+beginning.”
+
+“Bot, if I begin I may not stop. Zomzing more qviet ze first night. Haf
+you a club?”
+
+Mr Bunker pondered for a moment, and a curious smile stole across his
+face. Then it vanished, and he answered readily, “Certainly, Baron, an
+excellent idea. I haven’t been to my club for so long that it never struck
+me. Let us come.”
+
+“Goot!” cried the Baron, rising with alacrity.
+
+They put on their coats (Mr Bunker’s, it may be remarked, being a handsome
+fur-lined garment), the porter hailed a cab, and the driver was ordered to
+take them to the Regent’s Club in Pall Mall. The Baron knew it by
+reputation as the most exclusive in London, and his opinion of his friend
+rose still higher.
+
+They joined a jingling string of other hansoms and sped swiftly through
+the exhilarating bustle of the streets. To the Baron it seemed as if a
+great change had come over the city since he wandered disconsolately
+before dinner. Carried swiftly to the music of the little bells through
+the sharp air and the London night that is brighter than day, with a
+friend by his side and a good dinner within, he marked the most
+astonishing difference. All the people seemed to talk and laugh, and for
+his own part he found it hard to keep his tongue still.
+
+“I know ze name of ze Regent’s,” he said; “vun club of ze best, is it
+not?”
+
+“The very best club, Baron.”
+
+“Zey are all noble?”
+
+“In many cases the receipts for their escutcheons are still in their
+pockets.”
+
+Though the precise significance of this explanation was not quite clear to
+the Baron, it sounded eminently satisfactory.
+
+“Zo?” he said. “I shall be moch interested to see zem.”
+
+As they entered the club the porter stared at them curiously, and even
+made a movement as though he would step out and address them; but Mr
+Bunker, wishing him a courteous good evening, walked briskly up to the
+hat-and-cloak racks in the hall. A young man had just hung up his hat, and
+as he was divesting himself of his coat, Mr Bunker quickly took the hat
+down, glanced at the name inside, and replaced it on its peg. Then he held
+out his hand and addressed the young man cordially.
+
+“Good evening, Transome, how are you?” said he, and, heedless of the look
+of surprise on the other’s face, he turned towards the Baron and added,
+“Let me introduce the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg—Mr Transome. The Baron
+has just come to England, and I thought he couldn’t begin better than by a
+visit to the Regent’s. Let us come into the smoking-room.”
+
+In a few minutes they were all on the best of terms. A certain perplexity,
+and almost shyness, that the young man showed at first, vanished rapidly
+before the Baron’s cordiality and Mr Bunker’s well-bred charm of manner.
+
+They were deeply engrossed in a discussion on the reigning sovereign of
+the Baron’s native land, a monarch of whose enlightened policy that
+nobleman spoke with pardonable pride, when two elderly gentlemen entered
+the room.
+
+“Who are these?” Mr Bunker whispered to Transome. “I know them very well,
+but I am always bad at names.”
+
+“Lord Fabrigas and General M’Dermott,” replied Transome.
+
+Instantly Mr Bunker rose and greeted the new-comers.
+
+“Good evening, Lord Fabrigas; good evening, General. You have just come in
+time to be introduced to the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, whom you
+doubtless know by reputation.”
+
+The Baron rose and bowed, and it struck him that elderly English gentlemen
+were singularly stiff and constrained in their manner. Mr Bunker, however,
+continued cheerfully, “We are just going to have a smoking concert. Will
+you begin, Baron?”
+
+“I know not English songs,” replied the Baron, “bot I should like moch to
+hear.”
+
+“You must join in the chorus, then.”
+
+“Certainly, Bonker. I haf a voice zat is considered—vat you
+call—deafening, yes?—in ze chorus.”
+
+Mr Bunker cleared his throat, and, just as the General was on the point of
+interposing a remark, struck up hastily; and for the first time in its
+long and honourable history the smoking-room of the Regent’s Club reechoed
+to a popular music-hall ditty.
+
+
+    “They sometimes call ’em duckies, they sometimes call ’em pets,
+      And sometimes they refer to ’em as dears
+    They live on little matters that a gentleman forgets,
+      In a little world of giggles and of tears;
+    There are different varieties from which a man may choose,
+      There are sorts and shapes and sizes without end,
+    But the kind I’d pick myself is the kind you introduce
+      By the simple title of ‘my lady friend.’ ”
+
+
+“Chorus, Baron!” And then he trolled in waltz time this edifying refrain—
+
+
+    “My lady friend, my lady friend!
+          Can’t you twig, dear boys,
+        From the sound of the kisses
+      She isn’t my misses,
+    She’s only my lady friend!”
+
+
+In a voice like a train going over a bridge the Baron chimed in—
+
+
+    “My laty vrient, my laty vrient!
+          Cannot you tvig, mine boy,
+        Vrom ze sound of ze kiss,
+      He is not my miss,
+    He is only mine laty vrient!”
+
+
+“I am afraid,” said Mr Bunker, as they finished the chorus, “that I can’t
+remember any more. Now, General, it’s your turn.”
+
+“Sir,” replied that gallant officer, who had listened to this ditty in
+purple and petrified astonishment, “I don’t know who the devil you are,
+but I can tell you, you won’t remain a member of this club much longer if
+you come into it again in this state.”
+
+“I had forgotten,” said Mr Bunker, with even more than his usual
+politeness, “that such an admirable music-hall critic was listening to me.
+I must apologise for my poor effort.”
+
+Wishing him courteously good-night, he took the Baron by the arm and
+walked out. While that somewhat perplexed nobleman was struggling into his
+coat, his friend rapidly and dexterously converted all the silk hats he
+could see into the condition of collapsed opera hats, and then picked a
+small hand-bag off the floor. The Baron walked out through the door first,
+but Mr Bunker stopped for an instant opposite the hall-porter’s box, and
+crying, “Good night to you, sir!” hurled the bag through the glass, rushed
+after his friend, and in less time than it takes to tell they were tearing
+up Pall Mall in a hansom.
+
+For a few minutes both were silent; then the Baron said slowly, “I do not
+qvite onderstand.”
+
+“My dear Baron,” his friend explained gaily, “these practical jokes are
+very common in our clubs. They are quite part of our national life, you
+know, and I thought you ought to see everything.”
+
+The Baron said nothing, but he began to realise that he was indeed in a
+foreign country.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+“Vell, Bonker, vat show to-day?” said the Baron.
+
+Mr Bunker sipped his coffee and smiled back at his friend.
+
+“What would you like?” said he.
+
+They were sitting in the Baron’s private room finishing one of the
+renowned Hôtel Mayonaise breakfasts. Out of the windows they could see the
+bright curving river, the bare tops of the Embankment trees, a file of
+barges drifting with the tide, and cold-looking clouds hurrying over the
+chaos of brick on the opposite shore. It was a bright breezy morning, and
+the Baron felt in high good-humour with his surroundings. On maturer
+consideration, the entertaining experience of the night before had greatly
+raised Mr Bunker in his estimation. He had chuckled his way through a
+substantial breakfast, and in such good company felt ready for any
+adventure that might turn up.
+
+He lit a cigar, pushed back his chair, and replied blandly, “I am in your
+hands. I am ready to enjoy anyzing.”
+
+“Do you wish instruction or entertainment?”
+
+“Mix zem, Bonker. Entertain by instrogtion; instrogt by entertaining.”
+
+“You are epigrammatic, Baron, but devilish vague. I presume, however, that
+you wish entertaining experience from which a man of your philosophical
+temperament can draw a moral—afterwards.”
+
+“Ha, ha!” laughed the Baron. “Excellent! You provide ze experiences—I draw
+ze moral.”
+
+“And we share the entertainment. The theory is perfect, but I’m afraid we
+need a programme. Now, on my own first visit to London I remember being
+taken—by the hand—to Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks, the Tower, St Paul’s
+Cathedral, the fishmarket at Billingsgate, the British Museum, and a
+number of other damnably edifying spectacles. You might naturally suppose
+that after such a round it would be quite superfluous for me ever to come
+up to town again. Yet, surprising as it may appear, most of the knowledge
+of London I hope to put at your disposal has been gained in the course of
+subsequent visits.”
+
+“Bot zese places—Tousaud, Tower, Paul’s—are zey not instrogtif?”
+
+“If you wish to learn that a great number of years ago a vast quantity of
+inconsequent events occurred, or that in an otherwise amusing enough world
+there are here and there collected so many roomfuls of cheerless articles,
+I can strongly recommend a visit to the Tower of London or the British
+Museum.”
+
+“In mine own gontry,” said the Baron, thoughtfully, “I can lairn zo moch.”
+
+“Then, my dear Baron, while you are here forget it all.”
+
+“And yet,” said the Baron, still thoughtfully, “somzing I should lairn
+here.”
+
+“Certainly; you will learn something of what goes on underneath a
+waistcoat and a little of the contents of a corset and petticoat. Also of
+the strange customs of this city and the excellence of British
+institutions.”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the Baron, who thought that if his friend had not
+actually made a jest, it was at least time for one to occur. “I see, I
+see. I draw ze moral, ha, ha!”
+
+“This morning,” Mr Bunker continued, reflectively, “we might—let me
+see—well, we might do a little shopping. To tell you the truth, Baron, my
+South African experiences have somewhat exhausted my wardrobe.”
+
+“Ach, zo. Cairtainly ve vill shop. Bot, Bonker, Soud Africa? Vas it not
+Soud America?”
+
+“Did I say Africa? America of course I meant. Well, let us shop if you
+have no objections: then we might have a little lunch, and afterwards
+visit the Park. For the evening, what do you say to a theatre?”
+
+“Goot!” cried the Baron. “Make it tzos.”
+
+Mr Bunker’s shopping turned out to be a pretty extensive operation.
+
+“Loan vat you please of money,” said his friend. “A gentleman should be
+dressed in agreement.”
+
+With now and then an apology for his extravagance, he took full advantage
+of the Baron’s generosity, and ordered such an assortment of garments that
+his tailor could hardly bow low enough to express his gratification.
+
+After an excellent lunch in the most expensive restaurant to be found,
+they walked arm-in-arm westwards along Piccadilly, Mr Bunker pointing out
+the various objects of historical or ephemeral interest to be seen in that
+thoroughfare, the Baron drinking in this information with the serious air
+of the distinguished traveller.
+
+“And now we come to the Park,” said Mr Bunker. “Guard your heart, Baron.”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” replied the Baron. “Zo instrogtion is feenished, and now
+goms entertainment, ha?”
+
+“With the moral always running through it, remember.”
+
+“I shall not forget.”
+
+The sunshine had brought out a great many carriages and a sprinkling of
+walkers along the railings. The two friends strolled among them, eyeing
+the women and stopping now and then to look back at a carriage.
+
+“I suppose,” said the Baron, “zat vile you haf been avay your frients have
+forgot you.”
+
+As he spoke a young man looked hard at Mr Bunker, and even made a movement
+as though he would stop and speak to him. Mr Bunker looked blandly through
+him and walked on.
+
+“Do you not know zat gentleman?”
+
+“Which gentleman?”
+
+“Ze young man zat looked so at you.”
+
+“Some young men have a way of staring here, Baron.”
+
+A few minutes later a lady in a passing carriage looked round sharply at
+them with an air of great surprise, and half bowed.
+
+“Surely,” exclaimed the Baron, “zat vas a frient of yours!”
+
+“I am not a friend of hers, then,” Mr Bunker replied with a laugh. “Her
+bow I think must have been aimed at you.”
+
+The Baron shook his head, and seemed to be drawing a moral.
+
+“Baron,” his friend exclaimed, suddenly, “let us go back; here comes one
+of our most popular phenomena, a London fog. We need not stay in the Park
+to observe it.”
+
+The sun was already obscured; there stole a most insidious chill through
+the air; like the changing of a scene on the stage they found themselves
+in a few minutes walking in a little ring of trees and road and iron
+railings instead of a wide sunny park; the roar of the streets came from
+behind a wall of mist that opened mysteriously to let a phantom carriage
+in and out, and closed silently behind it again.
+
+“I like not zis,” said the Baron, with a shiver.
+
+By the time they had found Piccadilly again there was nothing at all to be
+seen but the light of the nearest lamp, as large and far away as a
+struggling sun, and the shadowy people who flitted by.
+
+Their talk ceased. The Baron turned up his collar and sucked his cigar
+lugubriously, and Mr Bunker seemed unusually thoughtful. They had walked
+nearly as far as Piccadilly Circus when they were pulled up by a cab
+turning down a side-street. There was a lamp-post at the corner, and under
+it stood a burly man, his red face quite visible as they came up to his
+shoulder.
+
+In an instant Mr Bunker seized the Baron by the arm, pulled him round, and
+began to walk hastily back again.
+
+“Vat for zis?” said the Baron, in great astonishment.
+
+“We have come too far, thanks to this infernal fog. We must cross the
+street and take the first turning on the other side. I must apologise,
+Baron, for my absence of mind.”
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+The cab passed by and the red-faced man strolled on.
+
+“Like lookin’ for a needle in a bloomin’ haystack,” he said to himself. “I
+might as well go back to Clankwood. ’E’s a good riddance, I say.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed their dinner with the relish of
+approving connoisseurs. Mr Bunker commended the hock, and suggested a
+second bottle; the Baron praised the _entrées_, and insisted on another
+helping. The frequent laughter arising from their table excited general
+remark throughout the room, and already the waiters were whispering to the
+other guests that this was a German nobleman of royal blood engaged in a
+diplomatic mission of importance, and his friend a ducal member of the
+English Cabinet, at present, for reasons of state, incognito.
+
+“Bonker!” exclaimed the Baron, “I am in zat frame of head I vant a
+romance, an adventure” (lowering his voice a little), “mit a beautiful
+lady, Bonker.”
+
+“It must be a romance, Baron?”
+
+“A novel, a story to tell to mine frients. In a strange city man expects
+strange zings.”
+
+“Well, I’ll do my best for you, but I confess the provision of romantic
+adventures is a little outside the programme we’ve arranged.”
+
+“Ha, ha! Ve shall see, ve shall see, Bonker!”
+
+They arrived at the Corinthian Theatre about the middle of the first act,
+for, as Mr Bunker explained, it is always well to produce a good first
+impression, and few more effective means can be devised than working one’s
+way to the middle of a line of stalls with the play already in progress.
+
+Hardly were they seated when the Baron drove his elbow into his friend’s
+ribs (draped for the night, it may be remarked, with one of the Baron’s
+spare dress-coats) and exclaimed in an excited whisper, “Next to you,
+Bonker! Ach, zehr hüpsch!”
+
+Even before this hint Mr Bunker had observed that the lady on the other
+side of him was possessed of exceptional attractions. For a little time he
+studied her out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed that the stall on
+the farther side of her was empty, that she once or twice looked round as
+though she expected somebody, and that she seemed not altogether
+unconscious of her new neighbours. He further observed that her face was
+of a type that is more usually engaged in attack than defence.
+
+Then he whispered, “Would you like to know her?”
+
+“Ach, yah!” replied the Baron, eagerly. “Bot—can you?”
+
+Mr Bunker smiled confidently. A few minutes later he happened to let his
+programme fall into her lap.
+
+“I beg your pardon,” he whispered, softly, and glanced into her eyes with
+a smile ready.
+
+His usual discernment had not failed him. She smiled, and instantly he
+produced his.
+
+A little later her opera-glasses happened to slip from her hand, and
+though they only slipped slowly, it was no doubt owing to his ready
+presence of mind that their fall was averted.
+
+This time their fingers happened to touch, and they smiled without an
+apology.
+
+He leant towards her, looking, however, at the play. They shared a laugh
+over a joke that she might have been excused for not understanding;
+presently a criticism of some situation escaped him inadvertently, and she
+smiled again; soon after she gave an exclamation and he answered
+sympathetically, and at the end of the act the curtain came down on an
+acquaintance already begun. As the lights were turned up, and here and
+there men began to go out, she again looked at the entrances in some
+apparent concern, either lest some one should not come in or lest some one
+should.
+
+“He is late,” said Mr Bunker, smiling.
+
+She gave a very enticing look of surprise, and consented to smile back
+before she coyly looked away again.
+
+“An erring husband, I presume.”
+
+She admitted that it was in fact a husband who had failed her.
+
+“But,” she added, “I’m afraid—I mean I expect he’ll come in after the next
+act. It’s so tiresome of him to disappoint me like this.”
+
+Mr Bunker expressed the deepest sympathy with her unfortunate predicament.
+
+“He has his ticket, of course?”
+
+But it seemed that she had both the tickets with her, an arrangement which
+he immediately denounced as likely to lead to difficulties when her
+husband arrived. He further, in the most obliging manner, suggested that
+he should take the ticket for the other seat to the booking office and
+leave instructions for its being given to the gentleman on his arrival.
+The lady gave him a curious little glance that seemed to imply a mixture
+of doubt as to his motives with confidence in his abilities, and then with
+many thanks agreed to his suggestion. Mr Bunker took the ticket and rose
+at once.
+
+“That I may be sure you are in good company while I am away,” said he,
+“permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.”
+
+And the Baron promptly took his vacant seat.
+
+On his return Mr Bunker found his friend wreathed in smiles and engaged in
+the most animated conversation with the lady, and before the last act was
+over, he gathered from such scraps of conversation as reached his ears
+that Rudolph von Blitzenberg had little to learn in one department of a
+nobleman’s duties.
+
+“I wonder where my husband can be,” the lady whispered.
+
+“Ach, heed him not, fair lady,” replied the Baron. “Am I not instead of a
+hosband?”
+
+“I’m afraid you’re a very naughty man, Baron.”
+
+“Ven I am viz you,” the gallant Baron answered, “I forget myself all bot
+your charms.”
+
+These advances being made in the most dulcet tones of which the nobleman
+was master, and accompanied by the most enamoured expression, it is not
+surprising that the lady permitted herself to listen to them with perhaps
+too ready an ear. What Mr Bunker’s arrangement with the booking clerk had
+been was never quite clear, but certainly the erring husband failed to
+make his appearance at all, and at the last fall of the curtain she was
+easily persuaded to let the Baron escort her home.
+
+“I know I ought not, but if a husband deserts one so faithlessly, what can
+I do?” she said, with a very becoming little shrug of her shoulders and a
+captivating lift of her eyebrows.
+
+“Ah, vat indeed? He desairves not so fair a consort.”
+
+“But won’t it be troubling you?”
+
+“Trouble? Pleasure and captivation!”
+
+“Excuse me, Baron,” said the voice of Mr Bunker at his elbow; “if you will
+wait here at the door I shall send up a cab.”
+
+“Goot!” cried the Baron, “a zouzand zanks!”
+
+“I myself,” added Mr Bunker, with a profound bow to the lady, “shall say
+good night now. The best of luck, Baron!”
+
+In a few minutes a hansom drove up, and the Baron, springing in beside his
+charge, told the man to drive to 602 Eaton Square.
+
+“Not too qvickly!” he added, in a stage aside.
+
+They reached Trafalgar Square, matters inside going harmoniously as a
+marriage bell,—almost, in fact, too much suggesting that simile.
+
+“Why are we going down Whitehall?” the lady exclaimed, suddenly.
+
+“I know not,” replied the Baron, placidly.
+
+“Ask him where he is going!” she said.
+
+The Baron, as in duty bound, asked, and the reassuring reply, “All right,
+sir,” came back through the hole in the roof.
+
+“I seem to know that man’s voice,” the lady said. “He must have driven me
+before.”
+
+“To me all ze English speak ze same,” replied the Baron. “All bot you, my
+fairest, viz your sound like a—vat you call?—fiddle, is it?”
+
+Though his charmer had serious misgivings regarding their cabman’s
+topographical knowledge, the Baron’s company proved so absorbing that it
+was not till they were being rapidly driven over Vauxhall Bridge that she
+at last took alarm. At first the Baron strove to soothe her by the most
+approved Teutonic blandishments, but in time he too began to feel
+concerned, and in a voice like thunder he repeatedly called upon the
+driver to stop. No reply was vouchsafed, and the pace merely grew the more
+reckless.
+
+“Can’t you catch the reins?” cried the lady, who had got into a terrible
+fright.
+
+The Baron twice essayed the feat, but each time a heavy blow over the
+knuckles from the butt-end of the whip forced him to desist. The lady
+burst into tears. The Baron swore in five languages alternately, and still
+the cab pursued its headlong career through deserted midnight streets,
+past infrequent policemen and stray belated revellers, on into an unknown
+wilderness of brick.
+
+“Oh, don’t let him murder me!” sobbed the lady.
+
+“Haf cheer, fairest; he shall not vile I am viz you! Gott in himmel, ze
+rascal! Parbleu und blood! Goddam! Vait till I catch him, hell and
+blitzen! Haf courage, dear!”
+
+“Oh dear, oh dear!” wailed the lady. “I shall _never_ do it again!”
+
+They must have covered miles, and still the speed never abated, when
+suddenly, as they were rounding a sharp corner, the horse slipped on the
+frost-bound road, and in the twinkling of an eye the Baron and the lady
+were sitting on opposite sides of their fallen steed, and the cabman was
+rubbing his head some yards in front.
+
+“Teufel!” exclaimed the Baron, rising carefully to his feet. “Ach, mine
+dearest vun, art thou hurt?”
+
+The lady was silent for a moment, as though trying to decide, and then she
+burst into hysterical laughter.
+
+“Ach, zo,” said the Baron, much relieved, “zen vill I see ze cabman.”
+
+That individual was still rubbing his head with a rueful air, and the
+Baron was about to pour forth all his bottled-up indignation, when at the
+sight of the driver’s face he started back in blank astonishment.
+
+“Bonker!”
+
+“It is I indeed, my dear Baron,” replied that gentleman, politely. “I must
+ask a thousand pardons for causing you this trifling inconvenience. As to
+your friend, I don’t know how I am to make my peace with her.”
+
+“Bot—bot vat means zis?” gasped the Baron.
+
+“I was merely endeavouring to provide the spice of romance you required,
+besides giving you the opportunity of making the lady’s better
+acquaintance. Can I do anything more for you, Baron? And you, my dear
+lady, can I assist you in any way?”
+
+Both, speaking at once and with some heat, gave a decidedly affirmative
+answer.
+
+“Where are we?” asked the lady, who hovered between fright and
+indignation.
+
+Mr Bunker shrugged his shoulders.
+
+“It would be rash to hazard an opinion,” he replied.
+
+“Well!” cried the lady, her indignation quite overcoming her fright. “Do
+you mean to say you’ve brought us here against our wills and probably got
+me into _dreadful_ trouble, and you don’t even know where we are?”
+
+Mr Bunker looked up at the heavens with a studious air.
+
+“One _ought_ to be able to tell something of our whereabouts from one of
+those stars,” he replied; “but, to tell the truth, I don’t quite know
+which. In short, madame, it is not from want of goodwill, but merely
+through ignorance, that I cannot direct you.”
+
+The lady turned impatiently to the Baron.
+
+“_You’ve_ helped to get me into this mess,” she said, tartly. “What do you
+propose to do?”
+
+“My fairest——”
+
+“Don’t!” she interrupted, stamping her foot on the frosty road, and then
+inconsequently burst into tears. The Baron and Mr Bunker looked at one
+another.
+
+“It is a fine night for a walk, and the cab, I’m afraid, is smashed beyond
+hope of redemption. Give the lady your arm, Baron; we must eventually
+arrive somewhere.”
+
+There was really nothing else for it, so leaving the horse and cab to be
+recovered by the first policeman who chanced to pass, they set out on
+foot. At last, after half an hour’s ramble through the solitudes of South
+London, a belated cab was hailed and all three got inside. Once on her way
+home, the lady’s indignation again gave way to fright.
+
+“What _am_ I to do? What _am_ I to do?” she wailed. “Oh, whatever will my
+husband say?”
+
+In his most confident and irresistible manner Mr Bunker told her he would
+make matters all right for her at whatever cost to himself; and so
+infectious was his assurance, that, when at last they reached Eaton
+Square, she allowed him to come up to the door of number 602. The Baron
+prudently remained in the cab, for, as he explained, “My English, he is
+unsafe.”
+
+After a prolonged knocking and ringing the door at length opened, and an
+irascible-looking, middle-aged gentleman appeared, arrayed in a
+dressing-gown.
+
+“Louisa!” he cried. “What the dev—where on earth have you been? The police
+are looking for you all over London. And may I venture to ask who this is
+with you?”
+
+Mr Bunker bowed slightly and raised his hat.
+
+“My dear sir,” he said, “we found this lady in a lamentable state of
+intoxication in the Tottenham Court Road, and as I understand you have a
+kind of reversionary interest in her, we have brought her here. As for
+you, sir, your appearance is so unprepossessing that I am unable to remain
+any longer. Good night,” and raising his hat again he entered the cab and
+drove off, assuring the Baron that matters were satisfactorily arranged.
+
+“So you have had your adventure, Baron,” he added, with a smile.
+
+For a minute or two the Baron was silent. Then he broke into a cheerful
+guffaw, “Ha, ha, ha! You are a fonny devil, Bonker! Ach, bot it vas
+pleasant vile it lasted!”
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+A few days passed in the most entertaining manner. A menu of amusements
+was regularly prepared suitable to a catholic taste, and at every turn the
+Baron was struck by the enterprise and originality of his friend. He had,
+however, a national bent for serious inquiry, and now and then doubts
+crossed his mind whether, with all his moral drawing, he was acquiring
+quite as much solid information as he had set out to gain. This idea grew
+upon him, till one morning, after gazing for some time at the English
+newspaper he always made a point of reading, he suddenly exclaimed,
+“Bonker, I haf a doubt!”
+
+“I have many,” replied Mr Bunker; “in fact, I have few positive ideas
+left.”
+
+“Bot mine is a particulair doubt. Do I lairn enoff?”
+
+“My own conception of enough learning, Baron, is a thing like a
+threepenny-bit—the smallest coin one can do one’s marketing with.”
+
+“And yet,” said the Baron, solemnly, “for my own share, I am not
+satisfied. I vould lairn more of ze British institutions; so far I haf
+lairned of ze pleasures only.”
+
+“My dear Baron, they are the British institutions.”
+
+The Baron shook his head and fell to his paper again, while Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the sofa and gazed through his cigar-smoke at the
+ceiling. Suddenly the Baron gave an exclamation of horror.
+
+“My dear Baron, what is the matter?”
+
+“Yet anozer outrage!” cried the Baron. “Zese anarchists, zey are too
+scandalous. At all ze stations zere are detectives, and all ze ships are
+being vatched. Ach, it is terrible!”
+
+Mr Bunker seemed struck with an idea, for he stared at the ceiling without
+making any reply, and his eyes, had the Baron seen them, twinkled
+curiously.
+
+At last the Baron laid down his paper.
+
+“Vell, vat shall ve do?” he asked.
+
+“Let us come first to Liverpool Street Station, if you don’t mind, Baron,”
+his friend suggested. “I have something in the cloak-room there I want to
+pick up.”
+
+“My dear Bonker, I shall go vere you vill; bot remember I vant to-day more
+instrogtion and less entertainment.”
+
+“You wish to see the practical side of English life?”
+
+“Yah—zat is, yes.”
+
+Mr Bunker smiled.
+
+“Then I must entertain myself.”
+
+As they drove down he was in his wittiest humour, and the Baron, in spite
+of his desire for instruction, was more charmed with his friend than ever.
+
+“Vat fonny zing vill you do next, eh?” he asked, as they walked arm-in-arm
+into the station.
+
+“I am no more the humourist, my dear Baron,—I shall endeavour to edify
+you.”
+
+They had arrived at a busy hour, when the platforms were crowded with
+passengers and luggage. A train had just come in, and around it the bustle
+was at its height, and the confusion most bewildering.
+
+“Wait for me here,” said Mr Bunker; “I shall be back in a minute.”
+
+He started in the direction of the cloak-room, and then, doubling back
+through the crowd, walked down the platform and stopped opposite a
+luggage-van. An old gentleman, beside himself with irritation, was
+struggling with the aid of a porter to collect his luggage, and presently
+he left the pile he had got together and made a rush in the direction of a
+large portmanteau that was just being tumbled out. Instantly Mr Bunker
+picked up a handbag from the heap and walked quickly off with it.
+
+“Here you are, Baron,” he said, as he came up to his friend. “I find there
+is something else I must do, so do you mind holding this bag for a few
+minutes? If you will walk up and down in front of the refreshment-rooms
+here, I’ll find you more easily. Is it troubling you too much?”
+
+“Not vun bit, Bonker. I am in your sairvice.”
+
+He put the bag into the Baron’s hand with his pleasantest smile, and
+turned away. Rounding a corner, he came cautiously back again through the
+crowd and stepped up to a policeman.
+
+“Keep your eye on that man, officer,” he said, in a low confidential
+voice, and an air of quiet authority, “and put your plain clothes’ men on
+his track. I know him for one of the most dangerous anarchists.”
+
+The man started and stared hard at the Baron, and presently that
+unconscious nobleman, pacing the platform in growing wonder at Mr Bunker’s
+lengthy absence, and looking anxiously round him on all sides, noticed
+with surprise that a number of quietly dressed men, with no apparent
+business in the station, were eyeing him with, it seemed to him, an
+interest that approached suspicion. In time he grew annoyed, he returned
+their glances with his haughtiest and most indignant look, and finally,
+stepping up to one of them, asked in no friendly voice, “Vat for do you
+vatch me?”
+
+The man returned an evasive answer, and passing one of his
+fellow-officers, whispered, “Foreign; I was sure of it.”
+
+At last the Baron could stand it no longer, and laying the bag down by the
+door of the refreshment-room, turned hastily away. On the instant Mr
+Bunker, who had watched these proceedings from a safe distance, cried in a
+loud and agonised voice, “Down with your men, sergeant! Down, lie down! It
+will explode in twenty seconds!”
+
+And as he spoke he threw himself flat on his face. So infectious were his
+commanding voice and his note of alarm that one after another, detectives,
+passengers, and porters, cast themselves at full length on the platform.
+The Baron, filled with terror of anarchist plots, was one of the first to
+prostrate himself, and at that there could be no further doubt of the
+imminence of the peril.
+
+The cabs rattled and voices sounded from outside; an engine whistled and
+shunted at a far platform, but never before at that hour of the day had
+Liverpool Street Station been so silent. All held their breath and heard
+their hearts thump as they gazed in horrible fascination at that fatal
+bag, or with closed eyes stumbled through a hasty prayer. Fully a minute
+passed, and the suspense was growing intolerable, when with a loud oath an
+old gentleman rose to his feet and walked briskly up to the bag.
+
+“Have a care, sir! For Heaven’s sake have a care!” cried Mr Bunker; but
+the old gentleman merely bent over the terrible object, and, picking it
+up, exclaimed in bewildered wrath, “It’s my bag! Who the devil brought it
+here, and what’s the meaning of this d—d nonsense?”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” roared Mr Bunker; while like sheepish mushrooms the
+people sprang up on all sides.
+
+“My dear sir,” said Mr Bunker, coming up to the old gentleman, and raising
+his hat with his most affable air, “permit me to congratulate you on
+recovering your lost property, and allow me further to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.”
+
+“Baron von damned-humbug!” cried the old gentleman. “Did you take my bag,
+sir? and if so, are you a thief or a lunatic?”
+
+For an instant even Mr Bunker himself seemed a trifle taken aback; then he
+replied politely, “I am not a thief, sir.”
+
+“Then what _’ave_ you been doing?” demanded the sergeant.
+
+“Merely demonstrating to my friend the Baron the extraordinary vigilance
+of the English police.”
+
+For a time neither the old gentleman nor the sergeant seemed quite capable
+of taking the same view of the episode as Mr Bunker, and, curiously
+enough, the Baron seemed not disinclined to let his friend extricate
+himself as best he could. No one, however, could resist Mr Bunker, and
+before very long he and the Baron were driving up Bishopsgate Street
+together, with the old gentleman’s four-wheeler lumbering in front of
+them.
+
+“Well, Baron, are you satisfied with your morning’s instruction?” asked
+his friend.
+
+“A German nobleman is not used to be in soch a position,” replied the
+Baron, stiffly.
+
+“You must admit, however, that the object-lesson in the detection of
+anarchy was neatly presented.”
+
+“I admit nozing of ze kind,” said the Baron, stolidly.
+
+For the rest of the drive he sat obdurately silent. He went to his room
+with the mien of an offended man. During lunch he only opened his lips to
+eat.
+
+On his side Mr Bunker maintained a cheerful composure, and seemed not a
+whit put about by his friend’s lack of appreciation.
+
+“Anozzer bottle of claret,” said the Baron, gruffly, to a waiter.
+
+Mr Bunker let him consume it entirely by himself, awaiting the results
+with patience. Gradually his face relaxed a little, until all at once,
+when the bump in the bottom of the bottle was beginning to appear above
+the wine, the whole room was startled by a stentorian, “Ha, ha, ha!”
+
+“My dear Bonker!” cried the Baron, when he had finished laughing, “forgif
+me! I begin for to see ze moral, ha, ha, ha!”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron expressed no further wish for instruction, but, instead, he
+began to show a desire for society.
+
+“Doesn’t one fool suffice?” his friend asked.
+
+“Ach, yes, my vise fool; ha, ha, ha! Bot sometimes I haf ze craving for
+peoples, museec, dancing—in vun vord, society, Bonker!”
+
+“But this is not the season, Baron. You wouldn’t mix with any but the best
+society, would you?”
+
+“Zere are some nobles in town. In my paper I see Lord zis, Duke of zat, in
+London. Pairhaps my introdogtions might be here now.”
+
+This suggestion seemed to strike Mr Bunker unfavourably.
+
+“My company is beginning to pall, is it, Baron?”
+
+“Ach, no, dear Bonker! I vould merely go out jost vunce or tvice. Haf you
+no friends now in town?”
+
+An idea seemed to seize Mr Bunker.
+
+“Let me see the paper,” he said.
+
+After perusing it carefully for a little, he at last exclaimed in a tone
+of pleased discovery, “Hullo! I see that Lady Tulliwuddle is giving a
+reception and dance to-night. Most of the smart people in town just now
+are sure to be there. Would you care to go, Baron?”
+
+“Ach, surely,” said the Baron, eagerly. “Bot haf you been invited,
+Bonker?”
+
+“Oh, I used to have a standing invitation to Lady Tulliwuddle’s dances,
+and I’m certain she would be glad to see me again.”
+
+“Can you take me?”
+
+“Of course, my dear Baron, she will be honoured.”
+
+“Goot!” cried the Baron. “Ve shall go.”
+
+Mr Bunker explained that it was the proper thing to arrive very late, and
+so it was not until after twelve o’clock that they left the Hôtel
+Mayonaise for the regions of Belgravia. The Baron, primed with a bottle of
+champagne, and arrayed in a costume which Mr Bunker had assured him was
+the very latest extreme of fashion, and which included a scarlet watered
+silk waistcoat, a pair of white silk socks, and a lavender tie, was in a
+condition of cheerfulness verging closely on hilarity. Mr Bunker, that, as
+he said, he might better serve as a foil to his friend’s splendour, went
+more inconspicuously dressed, but was likewise well charged with
+champagne. He too was in his happiest vein, and the vision of the Baron’s
+finery appeared to afford him peculiar gratification.
+
+Their hansom stopped in front of a large and gaily lit-up mansion, with an
+awning leading to the door, and a cluster of carriages and footmen by the
+kerbstone. They entered, and having divested themselves of their coats, Mr
+Bunker proposed that they should immediately seek the supper-room.
+
+“Bot should I not be first introduced to mine hostess?” asked the Baron.
+
+“My dear Baron! a formal reception of the guests is entirely foreign to
+English etiquette.”
+
+“Zo? I did not know zat.”
+
+The supper-room was crowded, and having secured a table with some
+difficulty, Mr Bunker entered immediately into conversation with a
+solitary young gentleman who was consuming a plate of oysters. Before they
+had exchanged six sentences the young man had entirely succumbed to Mr
+Bunker’s address, aided possibly by the young man’s supper.
+
+“Permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, a
+nobleman strange as yet to England, but renowned throughout his native
+land alike for his talents and his lofty position,” said Mr Bunker.
+
+“Ach, my good friend,” exclaimed the Baron, grasping the young man’s hand,
+“das ist Bonker’s vat you call nonsense; bot I am delighted, zehr
+delighted, to meet you, and if you gom to Bavaria you most shoot vid me!
+Bravo! Ha!”
+
+From which it may be gathered that the Baron was in a genial humour.
+
+“Who is that girl?” asked Mr Bunker, pointing to an extremely pretty
+damsel just leaving the room.
+
+“Oh, that’s my cousin, Lady Muriel Hilton. She’s thought rather pretty, I
+believe,” answered the young man.
+
+“Do you mind introducing me?”
+
+“Certainly,” said their new friend. “Come along.”
+
+As they were passing through the room a little incident occurred that, if
+the Baron’s perceptions had been keener, might have given him cause for
+some speculation. Two men standing by the door looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and then at each other, and as the Baron passed them he heard one say, “It
+looks devilish like him.”
+
+“He has shaved, then,” said the other.
+
+“Evidently,” replied the first speaker; “but I thought he was unlikely to
+appear in any society for some time.”
+
+They both laughed, and the Baron heard no more.
+
+When they reached the ballroom the band was striking up a polka, and
+presently Mr Bunker, with his accustomed grace, was tearing round the room
+with Lady Muriel, while the Baron—the delight of all eyes in his red
+waistcoat—led out her sister. In a very short time the other dancers found
+the Baron and his friend’s onslaught so vigorous that prudence compelled
+them to take shelter along the wall, and from a safe distance admire the
+evolutions of these two mysterious guests.
+
+Mr Bunker was enlivening the monotony of the polka by the judicious
+introduction of hornpipe steps, while the Baron, his coat-tails high above
+his head, shouted and stamped in his wild career.
+
+“Do stop for a minute, Baron,” gasped his fair partner.
+
+“Himmel, nein!” roared the Baron. “I haf gom here for to dance! Ha,
+Bonker, ha!”
+
+At last Lady Muriel had to stop through sheer exhaustion, but Mr Bunker,
+merely letting her go, pursued his solitary way, double-shuffling and
+kicking unimpeded.
+
+The Baron stopped, breathless, to admire him. Round and round he went, the
+only figure in the middle of the room, his arms akimbo, his feet
+rat-tatting and kicking to the music, while high above the band resounded
+his friend’s shouts of “Bravo, Bonker! Wunderschön! Gott in himmel,
+higher, higher!” till at length, missing the wall in an attempt to find
+support, the Baron dropped with a thud into a sitting posture and
+continued his demonstrations from the floor.
+
+Meanwhile their alarmed hostess was holding a hasty consultation with her
+husband, and when the music at last stopped and Mr Bunker was advancing
+with his most courteous air towards his late partner, Lord Tulliwuddle
+stepped up to him and touched his arm.
+
+“May I speak to you, sir?” he said.
+
+“Certainly,” replied Mr Bunker. “I shall be honoured. Excuse me for one
+moment, Lady Muriel.”
+
+“At whose invitation have you come here to-night?” demanded his host,
+sternly.
+
+“I have the pleasure of addressing Lord Tulliwuddle, have I not?”
+
+“You have, sir.”
+
+Mr Bunker bent towards him and whispered something in his ear.
+
+“From Scotland Yard?” exclaimed his lordship.
+
+“Hush!” said Mr Bunker, glancing cautiously round the room, and then he
+added, with an air of impressive gravity, “You have a bathroom on the
+third floor, I believe?”
+
+“I have,” replied his host in great surprise.
+
+“Has it a bell?”
+
+“No, I believe not.”
+
+“Ah, I thought so. If you will favour me by coming up-stairs for a minute,
+my Lord, you will avoid a serious private scandal. Say nothing about it at
+present to any one.”
+
+In blank astonishment and some alarm Lord Tulliwuddle went up with him to
+the third floor, where the house was still and the sounds of revelry
+reached faintly.
+
+“What does this mean, sir?” he asked.
+
+“If I am right in my conjectures you will need no explanation from me, my
+Lord.”
+
+His lordship opened a door, and turning on an electric light, revealed a
+small and ordinary-looking bathroom.
+
+“Ha, no bell—excellent!” said Mr Bunker.
+
+“What are you doing with the key?” exclaimed his host.
+
+“Good night, my Lord. I shall tell them to send up breakfast at nine,”
+said Mr Bunker, and stepping quickly out, he shut and locked the door.
+
+A minute later he was back in the ballroom looking anxiously for the
+Baron, but that nobleman was nowhere to be seen.
+
+“The devil!” he said to himself. “Can they have tackled him too?”
+
+But as he ran downstairs a gust of cheerful laughter set his mind at ease.
+
+“Ha, ha, ha! Vere is old Bonker? He also vill shoot vid me!”
+
+“Here I am, my dear Baron,” he exclaimed gaily, as he tracked the voice
+into the supper-room.
+
+“Ach, mine dear Bonker!” cried the Baron, folding him in his muscular
+embrace, “I haf here met friends, ve are merry! Ve drink to Bavaria, to
+England, to everyzing!”
+
+The “friends” consisted of two highly amused young men and two
+half-scandalised, half-hysterical ladies, into the midst of whose
+supper-table the Baron had projected himself with infectious hilarity.
+They all looked up with great curiosity at Mr Bunker, but that gentleman
+was not in the least put about. He bowed politely to the table generally,
+and took his friend by the arm.
+
+“It is time we were going, Baron, I’m afraid,” he said.
+
+“Vat for? Ah, not yet, Bonker, not yet. I am enjoying myself down to ze
+floor. I most dance again, Bonker, jost vunce more,” pleaded the Baron.
+
+“My dear Baron, the noblemen of highest rank must always leave first, and
+people are talking of going now. Come along, old man.”
+
+“Ha, is zat so?” said the Baron. “Zen vill I go. Good night!” he cried,
+waving his hand to the room generally. “Ven you gom to Bavaria you most
+all shoot vid me. Bravo, my goot Bonker! Ha! ha!”
+
+As they turned away from the table, one of the young men, who had been
+looking very hard at Mr Bunker, rose and touched his sleeve.
+
+“I say, aren’t you——?” he began.
+
+“Possibly I am,” interrupted Mr Bunker, “only I haven’t the slightest
+recollection of the fact.”
+
+An astonished lady was indicated by Mr Bunker as the hostess, and to her
+the Baron bade an affectionate adieu. He handed a sovereign to the
+footman, embraced the butler, and as they sped eastwards in their hansom,
+a rousing chorus from the two friends awoke the echoes of Piccadilly.
+
+“Bravo, Bonker! Himmel, I haf enjoyed myself!” sighed the exhausted Baron.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed a twelve o’clock breakfast with the
+relish of men who had done a good night’s work. The Baron was full of his
+exploits. “Ze lofly Lady Hilton” and his new “friends” seemed to have made
+a vivid impression.
+
+“Zey vill be in ze Park to-day, of course?” he suggested.
+
+“Possibly,” replied Mr Bunker, without any great enthusiasm.
+
+“But surely.”
+
+“After a dance it is rather unlikely.”
+
+“Ze Lady Hilton did say she vent to ze Park.”
+
+“To-day, Baron?”
+
+“I do not remember to-day. I did dance so hard I was not perhaps distinct.
+But I shall go and see.”
+
+As Mr Bunker’s attempts to throw cold water on this scheme proved quite
+futile, he made a graceful virtue of necessity, dressed himself with care,
+and set out in the afternoon for the Park. They had only walked as far as
+Piccadilly Circus when in the crowd at the corner his eye fell upon a
+familiar figure. It was the burly, red-faced man.
+
+“The devil! Moggridge again!” he muttered.
+
+For a moment he thought they were going to pass unobserved: then the man
+turned his head their way, and Mr Bunker saw him start. He never looked
+over his shoulder, but after walking a little farther he called the
+Baron’s attention to a shop window, and they stopped to look at it. Out of
+the corner of his eye he saw Moggridge about twenty yards behind them
+stopping too. He was glancing towards them very doubtfully. Evidently his
+mind was not yet made up, and at once Mr Bunker’s fertile brain began to
+revolve plans.
+
+A little farther on they paused before another window, and exactly the
+same thing happened. Then Mr Bunker made up his mind. He looked carefully
+at the cabs, and at last observed a smart-looking young man driving a
+fresh likely horse at a walking pace beside the pavement.
+
+He caught the driver’s eye and raised his stick, and turning suddenly to
+the Baron with a gesture of annoyance, exclaimed, “Forgive my rudeness,
+Baron, I’m afraid I must leave you. I had clean forgotten an important
+engagement in the city for this afternoon.”
+
+“Appointment in ze city?” said the Baron in considerable surprise. “I did
+not know you had friends in ze city.”
+
+“I have just heard from my father’s man of business, and I’m afraid it
+would be impolitic not to see him. Do you mind if I leave you here?”
+
+“Surely, my dear fellow, I vould not stop you. Already I feel at home by
+myself.”
+
+“Then we shall meet at the hotel before dinner. Good luck with the ladies,
+Baron.”
+
+Mr Bunker jumped into the cab, saying only to the driver, “To the city, as
+quick as you can.”
+
+“What part, sir?”
+
+“Oh, say the Bank. Hurry up!”
+
+Then as the man whipped up, Mr Bunker had a glimpse of Moggridge hailing
+another cab, and peeping cautiously through the little window at the back
+he saw him starting in hot pursuit. He took five shillings out of his
+pocket and opened the trap-door in the roof.
+
+“Do you see that other cab chasing us, with a red-faced man inside?”
+
+“Yes, sir.”
+
+Mr Bunker handed his driver the money.
+
+“Get rid of him, then. Take me anywhere through the city you like, and
+when he’s off the scent let me know.”
+
+“Very good, sir,” replied the driver, cracking his whip till his steed
+began to move past the buses and the other cabs like a train.
+
+On they flew, clatter and jingle, twisting like a snipe through the
+traffic. Mr Bunker perceived that he had a good horse and a good driver,
+and he smiled in pleasant excitement. He lit a cigar, leaned his arms on
+the doors, and settled himself to enjoy the race.
+
+The black lions of Trafalgar Square flew by, then the colossal hotels of
+Northumberland Avenue and the railway bridge at Charing Cross, and they
+were going at a gallop along the Embankment. He got swift glimpses of
+other cabs and foot-passengers, the trees seemed to flit past like
+telegraph-posts on a railway, the barges and lighters on the river dropped
+one by one behind them: it was a fair course for a race, with never a
+check before Blackfriar’s Bridge.
+
+As they turned into Queen Victoria Street he opened the lid and asked,
+“Are they still in sight?”
+
+“Yes, sir; I’m afraid we ain’t gaining much yet. But I’ll do it, sir, no
+fears.”
+
+Mr Bunker lay back and laughed.
+
+“This is better than the Park,” he said to himself.
+
+They had a fine drive up Queen Victoria Street before they plunged into
+the whirlpool of traffic at the Bank. They were slowly making their way
+across when the driver, spying an opening in another stream, abruptly
+wheeled round for Cornhill, and presently they were off again at top
+speed.
+
+“Thrown them off?” asked Mr Bunker.
+
+“Tried to, sir, but they were too sharp and got clear away too.”
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was going to be a stern chase, and laughed again. In
+order that he might not show ostensibly that he was running away, he
+resisted the temptation of having another peep through the back, and
+resigned himself to the chances of the chase.
+
+Through and through the lanes and byways of the city they drove, and after
+each double the answer from the box was always the same. The cab behind
+could not be shaken off.
+
+“Work your way round to Holborn and try a run west,” Mr Bunker suggested.
+
+So after a little they struck Newgate Street, and presently their steed
+stretched himself again in Holborn Viaduct.
+
+“Gaining now, cabby?”
+
+“A little, sir, I think.”
+
+Mr Bunker sat placidly till they were well along Holborn before he
+inquired again.
+
+“Can’t get rid of ’im no ’ow. Afride it ain’t much good, sir.”
+
+Mr Bunker passed up five shillings more.
+
+“Keep your tail up. You’ll do it yet,” he exhorted. “Try a turn north; you
+may bother him among the squares.”
+
+So they doubled north, and as the evening closed in their wearied horse
+was lashed through a maze of monotonous streets and tarnished Bloomsbury
+Squares. And still the other cab stuck to their trail. But when they
+emerged on the Euston Road, Mr Bunker was as cheerful as ever.
+
+“They can’t last much longer,” he said to his driver. “Turn up Regent’s
+Park way.”
+
+A little later he put the usual question and got the same unvarying
+answer.
+
+The horse was evidently beginning to fail, and he saw that this
+chariot-race must soon come to an end. The street-lamps and the shop
+windows were all lit up by this time, and the dusk was pretty thick. It
+seemed to him that he might venture to try his luck on foot, and he began
+to look out for an opening where a cab could not follow.
+
+They were flogging along a noisy stone-paved road where there was little
+other traffic; on one side stood an unbroken row of houses, and on the
+other were small semi-detached villas with little strips of garden about
+them. All at once he saw a doctor’s red lamp over the door of one of these
+half villas, and an inspiration came upon him.
+
+“One can always visit a doctor,” he said to himself, and smiled in great
+amusement at something in the reflection.
+
+He stopped the cab, handed the man half a sovereign, and saying only,
+“Drive away again, quickly,” jumped out, glanced at the name on the plate,
+and pulled the bell. As he waited on the step he saw the other cab stop a
+little way back, and his pursuer emerge.
+
+A frowsy little servant opened the door.
+
+“Is Dr Twiddel at home?” he asked.
+
+“Dr Twiddel’s abroad, sir,” said the maid.
+
+“No one in at all, then?”
+
+“Dr Billson sees ’is patients, sir—w’en there _his_ any.”
+
+“When do you expect Dr Billson?”
+
+“In about an hour, sir, ’e usually comes hin.”
+
+“Excellent!” thought Mr Bunker. Aloud he said, “Well, I’m a patient. I’ll
+come in and wait.”
+
+He stepped in, and the door banged behind him.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VIII.
+
+
+“This w’y, sir,” said the maid, and Mr Bunker found himself in the little
+room where this story opened.
+
+The moment he was alone he went to the window and peeped cautiously
+between the slats of the venetian blind.
+
+The street was quiet, both cabs had disappeared, and for a minute or two
+he could see nothing even of Moggridge. Then a figure moved carefully from
+the shelter of a bush a little way down the railings, and, after a quick
+look at the house, stepped back again.
+
+“He means to play the waiting game,” said Mr Bunker to himself. “Long may
+you wait, my wary Moggridge!”
+
+He took a rapid survey of the room. He saw the medical library, the rented
+furniture, and the unlit gas-stove; and at last his eye fell upon a box of
+cigarettes. To one of these he helped himself and leaned his back against
+the mantelpiece.
+
+“There must be at least one room at the back,” he reflected; “that room
+must have a window, and beyond that window there is all London to turn to.
+Friend Moggridge, I trust you are prepared to spend the evening behind
+your bush.”
+
+He had another look through the blind and shook his head.
+
+“A little too light yet,—I’d better wait for a quarter of an hour or so.”
+
+To while away the time he proceeded to make a tour of the room, for, as he
+said to himself, when in an unknown country any information may possibly
+come in useful. There was nothing whatever from which he could draw even
+the most superficial deduction till he came to the writing-desk. Here a
+heap of bills were transfixed by a long skewer, and at his first glance at
+the uppermost his face assumed an expression of almost ludicrous
+bewilderment. He actually rubbed his eyes before he looked a second time.
+
+“One dozen shirts,” he read, “four under-flannels, four pair socks, one
+dozen handkerchiefs, two sleeping-suits—marked Francis Beveridge! the
+account rendered to Dr G. Twiddel! What in the name of wonderment is the
+meaning of this?”
+
+He sat down with the bill in his hand and gazed hard at it.
+
+“Precisely my outfit,” he said to himself.
+
+“Am I—Does it——? What a rum thing!”
+
+He sat for about ten minutes looking hard at the floor. Then he burst out
+laughing, resumed in a moment his air of philosophical opportunism, and
+set about a further search of the desk. He looked at the bills and seemed
+to find nothing more to interest him. Then he glanced at one or two
+letters in the drawers, threw the first few back again, and at last paused
+over one.
+
+“Twiddel to Billson,” he said to himself. “This may possibly be worth
+looking at.”
+
+It was dated more than a month back from the town of Fogelschloss.
+
+“Dear Tom,” it ran, “we are having an A 1 time. Old Welsh is in splendid
+form, doing the part to perfection. He has never given himself away yet,
+not even when drunk, which, I am sorry to say, he has been too often. But
+then old Welsh is so funny when he is drunk that it makes him all the more
+like the original, or at least what the original is supposed to be.
+
+“Of course we don’t dare to venture into places where we would see too
+many English. This is quite an amusing place for a German town, some baths
+and a kind of a gambling-table, and some pretty girls—for Germans. There
+is a sporting aristocrat here, in an old castle, who is very friendly, and
+is much impressed with Welsh’s account of his family plate and
+deer-forest, and has asked us once or twice to come out and see him. We
+are no end of swells, I assure you.
+
+“Ta, ta, old chap. Hope the practice prospers in your hands. Don’t kill
+_all_ the patients before I come back.—Ever thine,
+
+                                                          GEORGE TWIDDEL.”
+
+“From this I conclude that Dr Twiddel is on the festive side of forty,” he
+reflected; “there are elements of mystery and a general atmosphere of
+alcohol about it, but that’s all, I’m afraid.”
+
+He put it back in the drawer, but the bill he slipped into his pocket.
+
+“And now,” thought he, “it is time I made the first move.”
+
+After waiting for a minute or two to make sure that everything was quiet,
+he gently stepped out into a little linoleum-carpeted hall. On the right
+hand was the front door, on the left two others that must, he thought,
+open into rooms on the back. He chose the nearer at a venture, and entered
+boldly. It was quite dark. He closed the door again softly, struck a
+match, and looked round the room. It seemed to be Dr Twiddel’s dining- and
+sitting-room.
+
+“Pipes, photographs, well-sat-in chairs,” he observed, “_and_ a window.”
+
+He pulled aside the blind and looked out into the darkness of a strip of
+back-garden. For a minute he listened intently, but no sound came from the
+house. Then he threw up the sash and scrambled out. It was quite dark by
+this time: he was enclosed between two rows of vague, black houses, with
+bright windows here and there, and chimney-cans faintly cutting their
+uncouth designs among a few pale London stars. The space between was
+filled with the two lines of little gardens and the ranks of walls, and in
+the middle the black chasm of a railway cutting.
+
+A frightened cat bolted before him as he hurried down to the foot of the
+strip, but that was all the life he saw. He looked over the wall right
+into the deep crevasse. A little way off, on the one hand, hung a cluster
+of signal-lights, and the shining rails reflected them all along to the
+mouth of a tunnel on the other. Turning his head this way and that, there
+was nothing to be seen anywhere else but garden wall after garden wall.
+
+“It’s a choice between a hurdle-race through these gardens, a cat-walk
+along this wall, and a descent into the cutting,” he reflected. “The walls
+look devilish high and the cutting devilish deep. Hang me if I know which
+road to take.”
+
+While he was still debating this somewhat perplexing question, he felt the
+ground begin to quiver under him. Through the hum of London there
+gradually arose a louder roar, and in a minute the head-lights of an
+engine flashed out of the tunnel. One after another a string of bright
+carriages followed it, each more slowly than the carriage in front, till
+the whole train was at a standstill below him with the red signal-lamp
+against it.
+
+In an instant his decision was taken. At the peril of life and garments he
+scrambled down the rocky bank, picking as he went an empty first-class
+compartment, and just as the train began to move again he swung himself up
+and sprang into a carriage.
+
+Unfortunately he had chosen the wrong one in his haste, and as he opened
+the door he saw a comical vision of a stout little old gentleman huddling
+into the farther corner in the most dire consternation.
+
+“Who are you, sir? What do you want, sir?” spluttered the old gentleman.
+“If you come any nearer me, sir—one step, sir!—I shall instantly
+communicate with the guard! I have no money about me. Go away, sir!”
+
+“I regret to learn that you have no money,” replied Mr Bunker,
+imperturbably; “but I am sorry that I am not at present in a condition to
+offer a loan.”
+
+He sat down and smiled amicably, but the little gentleman was not to be
+quieted so easily. Seeing that no violence was apparently intended, his
+fright changed into respectable indignation.
+
+“You needn’t try to be funny with me, sir. You are committing an illegal
+act. You have placed yourself in an uncommonly serious position, sir.”
+
+“Indeed, sir?” replied Mr Bunker. “I myself should have imagined that by
+remaining on the rails I should have been much more seriously situated.”
+
+The old gentleman looked at him like an angry small dog that longs to bite
+if it only dared.
+
+“What is the meaning of this illegal intrusion?” he demanded. “Who are
+you? Where did you come from?”
+
+“I had the misfortune, sir,” explained Mr Bunker, politely, “to drop my
+hat out of the window of a neighbouring carriage. While I was picking it
+up the train started, and I had to enter the first compartment I could
+find. I am sorry that my entry frightened you.”
+
+“Frightened me!” spluttered the old gentleman. “I am not afraid, sir. I am
+an honest man who need fear no one, sir. I do not believe you dropped your
+hat. It is perfectly uninjured.”
+
+“It may be news to you, sir,” replied Mr Bunker, “that by gently yet
+firmly passing the sleeve of your coat round your hat in the direction of
+the nap, it is possible to restore the gloss. Thus,” and suiting the
+action to the word he took off his hat, drew his coat-sleeve across it,
+and with a genial smile at the old gentleman, replaced it on his head.
+
+But his neighbour was evidently of that truculent disposition which merely
+growls at blandishments. He snorted and replied testily, “That is all very
+well, sir, but I don’t believe a word of it.”
+
+“If you prefer it, then, I fell off the telegraph wires in an attempt to
+recover my boots.”
+
+The old gentleman became purple in the face.
+
+“Have a care, sir! I am a director of this company, and at the next
+station I shall see that you give a proper account of yourself. And here
+we are, sir. I trust you have a more credible story in readiness.”
+
+As he spoke they drew up beside an underground platform, and the irascible
+old gentleman, with a very threatening face that was not yet quite cleared
+of alarm, bustled out in a prodigious hurry. Mr Bunker lay back in his
+seat and replied with a smile, “I shall be delighted to tell any story
+within the bounds of strict propriety.”
+
+But the moment he saw the irate director disappear in the crowd he whipped
+out too, and with the least possible delay transferred himself into a
+third-class carriage.
+
+From his seat near the window he watched the old gentleman hurry back with
+three officials at his heels, and hastily search each first-class
+compartment in turn. The last one was so near him that he could hear his
+friend say, “Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!” And with that
+the four of them rushed off to the barrier to intercept or pursue this
+suspicious character. Then the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr
+Bunker remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself, “Well,
+whoever I am, it would seem I’m rather difficult to catch.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IX.
+
+
+Mr Bunker arrived at the Hôtel Mayonaise in what, from his appearance, was
+an unusually reflective state of mind for him. The other visitors, many of
+whom had begun to regard him and his noble friend with great interest, saw
+him pass through the crowd in the hall and about the lifts with a
+thoughtful air. He went straight to the Baron’s room. Outside the door he
+paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile, and then burst
+gaily in upon his friend.
+
+“Well, my dear Baron!” he cried, “what luck in the Park?”
+
+The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English novel. He laid down
+his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.
+
+“I do not onderstand your English vays,” he replied.
+
+Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much amiss, nor was he without
+a suspicion of the cause. He laughed, however, and asked, “What’s the
+matter, old man?”
+
+“I vent to ze Park,” said the Baron, with a solemn deliberation that
+evidently came hardly to him. “I entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you
+know, viz taste and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked under
+ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people. Goddam!”
+
+“My dear Baron!” expostulated Mr Bunker.
+
+The Baron resumed his intense composure with a great effort.
+
+“Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit ze ozzer Lady Hilton
+and vun old lady. I raise my hat—no bow from zem. ‘Pairhaps,’ I zink, ‘zey
+see me not.’ Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I gomed up and
+again I raise my hat and I say, ‘How do you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you
+are regovered from ze dance.’ Zat was gorrect, vas it not?”
+
+“Perfectly,” replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.
+
+“Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer Lady Hilton cry, ‘Ach, zat
+German man!’ And vy did ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, ‘Send him
+avay! How dare you? Insolence!’ and suchlike vords?”
+
+“What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!” said Mr Bunker.
+
+“Remargable!” roared the justly incensed Baron. “Is it not more zan
+_remargable?_ Donner und blitzen! Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English
+vord so bad enoff for soch conduct.”
+
+“It must have been a joke,” his friend suggested, soothingly.
+
+“Vun dashed bad joke, zen! Ze gentleman said to me, ‘Get out of zis, you
+rasgal!’ ‘Vat mean you, sare?’ say I. ‘You know quite vell,’ said he.
+‘Glear out!’ So I gave him my card and tell him I would be glad to see his
+frient zat he should send, for zat I vas not used to be called zo. Zen I
+raise my hat to ze Lady Hilton and say, ‘Adieu, madame, I know now ze
+English lady,’ and I valk on. Himmel!”
+
+“What a very extraordinary affair, Baron!”
+
+The Baron grunted with inarticulate indignation and nearly pulled his
+moustache out by the roots. Abruptly he broke out again, “English ladies?
+I do not believe zey are ladies! Never haf I been treated zo! Vat do you
+mean, Bonker, by taking me among soch peoples?”
+
+“_I_, my dear Baron? It was not I who introduced you to the Hiltons. I
+never saw them before.”
+
+The difficulty of attaching any blame to his friend seemed to have
+anything but a soothing effect on the Baron. You could almost fancy that
+you heard his tail lash the floor.
+
+“Zat vas not all,” he continued, after a short struggle with his wrath. “I
+valked on, and soon I see two of ze frients I made last night at supper.”
+
+“Which two?”
+
+“Ze yong man zat spoke to you ven you rise from ze table, and vun of ze
+ladies. Again I raise my hat and say, ‘How do you do? I hope zat you are
+regovered from ze dance.’ Zat is gorrect, you say?”
+
+“Under most circumstances.”
+
+“Ze man stared at me, and ze voman—I vill not say lady—says to him zo zat
+I can hear, ‘Zat awful German!’ Ze man says, ‘Zo it is,’ and laughed. ‘I
+haf ze pleasure of meeting you last night at ze Lady Tollyvoddle,’ I said.
+‘I remember,’ he said; ‘but I haf no vish to meet you again.’ I take out
+my card to gif him, but he only said, ‘Go avay, or I vill call ze police!’
+‘Ze police! To me, Baron von Blitzenberg! Teufel!’ I replied.”
+
+“And that was all, Baron?” asked Mr Bunker, in what seemed rather like a
+tone of relief.
+
+“No; suddenly he did turn back and said, ‘By ze vay, who vas zat viz you
+last night?’ To vich I replied, ‘If you address me again, my man, I vill
+call ze police. Go avay!’ ”
+
+“Bravo, Baron! Ha, ha, ha! Excellent!” laughed Mr Bunker.
+
+This applause served to reinstate the Baron a little in his own good
+opinion. He laughed too, though rather noisily than heartily, and suddenly
+became grave again.
+
+“Vat means zis, Bonker? Vat haf I done? Vy should zey treat me zo?”
+
+“Well, you see, my dear Baron,” his friend explained, “I ought to have
+warned you that it is not usual in England to address ladies you have met
+at a dance without some direct invitation on their part. At the same time,
+it is evident that the Hiltons and the other man, who of course must be
+connected with the Foreign Office, are aware of some sudden strain in the
+diplomatic relations between England and Germany, which as yet is unknown
+to the public. Your ancient name and your high rank have naturally led
+them to conclude that you are an agent of the German Government, and an
+international significance was of course attached to your presence in the
+Park. I certainly think they took a most outrageous advantage of a
+trifling detail of etiquette to repulse you; but then you must remember,
+Baron, that their families might have been seriously compromised with the
+Government if they had been seen with so prominent a member of the German
+aristocracy in the middle of Hyde Park.”
+
+“Zo?” said the Baron, thoughtfully. “I begin to onderstand. My name, as
+you say, is cairtainly distinguished. Bot zen should I remain in London?”
+
+“Just what I was wondering, Baron. What do you say to a trip down to St
+Egbert’s-on-Sea? It’s a very select watering-place, and we might spend a
+week or two there very pleasantly.”
+
+“Egxellent!” said the Baron; “ven shall we start?”
+
+“To-morrow morning.”
+
+“Goot! zo let it be. I am tired of London and of ze English ladies’
+manners. Police to ze Baron von Blitzenberg! Ve shall go to St Egbert’s,
+Bonker!”
+
+
+
+
+
+                                PART III.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker walked arm-in-arm along the esplanade at St
+Egbert’s-on-Sea.
+
+“Aha!” said the Baron, “zis is more fresh zan London!”
+
+“Yes,” replied his friend; “we are now in the presence of that stimulating
+element which provides patriotic Britons with music-hall songs, and
+dyspeptic Britons with an appetite.”
+
+A stirring breeze swept down the long white esplanade, threatening hats
+and troubling skirts; the pale-green south-coast sea rumbled up the
+shingle; the day was bright and pleasant for the time of year, and drove
+the Baron’s mischances from his head; altogether it seemed to Mr Bunker
+that the omens were good. They were both dressed in the smartest of tweed
+suits, and walked jauntily, like men who knew their own value. Every now
+and then, as they passed a pretty face, the Baron would say, “Aha, Bonker!
+zat is not so bad, eh?”
+
+And Mr Bunker, who seemed not unwilling that his friend should find some
+entertaining distraction in St Egbert’s, would look at the owners of these
+faces with a prospector’s eye and his own unrivalled assurance.
+
+They had walked up and down three or four times, when a desire for a
+different species of diversion began to overtake the Baron. It was the one
+kind of desire that the Baron never even tried to wrestle with.
+
+“My vriend Bonker,” said he, “is it not somevere about time for loncheon,
+eh?”
+
+“I should say it was precisely the hour.”
+
+“Ha, ha! zen, let us gom and eat. Himmel, zis sea is ze fellow to make von
+hungry!”
+
+The Baron had taken a private suite of rooms on the first floor of the
+best hotel in St Egbert’s, and after a very substantial lunch Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the luxurious sitting-room sofa and announced his
+intention of having a nap.
+
+“I shall go out,” said the Baron. “You vill not gom?”
+
+“I shall leave you to make a single-handed conquest,” replied Mr Bunker.
+“Besides, I have a little matter I want to look into.”
+
+So the Baron arranged his hat airily, at what he had perceived to be the
+most fashionable and effective English angle, and strutted off to the
+esplanade.
+
+It was about two hours later that he burst excitedly into the room,
+crying, “Aha, mine Bonker! I haf disgovered zomzing!” and then he stopped
+in some surprise. “Ello, vat make you, my vriend?”
+
+His friend, in fact, seemed to be somewhat singularly employed. Through a
+dense cloud of tobacco-smoke you could just pick him out of the depths of
+an armchair, his feet resting on the mantelpiece, while his lap and all
+the floor round about were covered with immense books. The Baron’s
+curiosity was still further excited by observing that they consisted
+principally of a London and a St Egbert’s directory, several volumes of a
+Dictionary of National Biography, and one or two peerages and county
+family compilations.
+
+He looked up with a smile. “You may well wonder, my dear Baron. The fact
+is, I am looking for a name.”
+
+“A name! vat name?”
+
+“Alas! if I knew what it was I should stop looking, and I confess I’m
+rather sick of the job.”
+
+“Vich vay do you look, zen?”
+
+“Simply by wading my way through all the lists of names I could steal or
+borrow. It’s devilish dry work.”
+
+“Ze name of a vriend, is it?”
+
+“Yes; but I’m afraid I must wait till it comes. And what is this
+discovery, Baron? A petticoat, I presume. After all, they are the only
+things worth finding,” and he shut the books one after another.
+
+“A petticoat with ze fairest girl inside it!” exclaimed the Baron,
+rapturously.
+
+“Your eyes seem to have been singularly penetrating, Baron. Was she dark
+or fair, tall or short, fat or slender, widow, wife, or maid?”
+
+“Fair, viz blue eyes, short pairhaps but not too short, slender as
+a—a—drom-stick, and I vould say a maid; at least I see vun stout old lady
+mit her, mozzer and daughter I soppose.”
+
+“And did this piece of perfection seem to appreciate you?”
+
+“Vy should I know? Zey are ze real ladies and pairtend not to see me, bot
+I zink zey notice me all ze same. Not ‘lady vriends,’ Bonker, ha, ha, ha!”
+
+Mr Bunker laughed with reminiscent amusement, and inquired, “And how did
+the romance end—in a cab, Baron?”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the Baron; “better zan zat, Bonker—moch better!”
+
+Mr Bunker raised his eyebrows.
+
+“It’s hardly the time of year for a romance to end in a bathing-machine.
+You followed the divinity to her rented heaven, perhaps?”
+
+The Baron bent forward and answered in a stage whisper, “Zey live in zis
+hotel, Bonker!”
+
+“Then I can only wish you joy, Baron, and if my funds allow me, send her a
+wedding present.”
+
+“Ach, not quite so fast, my vriend! I am not caught so easy.”
+
+“My dear fellow, a week at close quarters is sufficient to net any man.”
+
+“Ven I marry,” replied the Baron, “moch most be considered. A von
+Blitzenberg does not mate viz every vun.”
+
+“A good many families have made the same remark, but one does not always
+meet the fathers-in-law.”
+
+“Ha, ha! ve shall see. Bot, Bonker, she is lofly!”
+
+The Baron awaited dinner with even more than his usual ardour. He dressed
+with the greatest care, and at an absurdly early hour was already urging
+his friend to come down and take their places. Indeed after a time there
+was no withholding him, and they finally took their seats in the
+dining-room before anybody else.
+
+At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably long intervals a few
+people dropped in and began to study their menus and glance with an air of
+uncomfortable suspicion at their neighbours.
+
+“I vonder vill she gom,” he said three or four times at least.
+
+“Console yourself, my dear Baron,” his friend would reply; “they always
+come. That’s seldom the difficulty.”
+
+And the Baron would dally with his victuals in the most unwonted fashion,
+and growl at the rapidity with which the courses followed one another.
+
+“Do zey suppose ve vish to eat like——?” he began, and then laying his hand
+on his friend’s sleeve, he whispered, “She goms!”
+
+Mr Bunker turned his head just in time to see in the doorway the Countess
+of Grillyer and the Lady Alicia à Fyre.
+
+“Is she not fair?” asked the Baron, excitedly.
+
+“I entirely approve of your taste, Baron. I have only once seen any one
+quite like her before.”
+
+With a gratified smile the Baron filled his glass, while his friend seemed
+amused by some humorous reflection of his own.
+
+The Lady Alicia and her mother had taken their seats at a table a little
+way off, and at first their eyes never happened to turn in the direction
+of the two friends. But at last, after looking at the ceiling, the carpet,
+the walls, the other people, everything else in the room it seemed, Lady
+Alicia’s glance fell for an instant on the Baron. That nobleman looked as
+interesting as a mouthful of roast duck would permit him, but the glance
+passed serenely on to Mr Bunker. For a moment it remained serene; suddenly
+it became startled and puzzled, and at that instant Mr Bunker turned his
+own eyes full upon her, smiled slightly, and raised his glass to his lips.
+
+The glance fell, and the Lady Alicia blushed down to the diamonds in her
+necklace.
+
+The Baron insisted on lingering over his dinner till the charmer was
+finished, and so by a fortuitous coincidence they left the room
+immediately behind the Countess. The Baron passed them in the passage, and
+a few yards farther he looked round for his friend, and the Countess
+turned to look for her daughter.
+
+They saw Lady Alicia following with an intensely unconscious expression,
+while Mr Bunker was in the act of returning to the dining-room.
+
+“I wanted to secure a table for breakfast,” he explained.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron was in high hopes of seeing the fair unknown at breakfast, but
+it seemed she must be either breakfasting in her own room or lying long
+abed.
+
+“I think I shall go out for a little constitutional,” said Mr Bunker, when
+he had finished. “I suppose the hotel has a stronger attraction for you.”
+
+“Ach, yes, I shall remain,” his friend replied. “Pairhaps I may see zem.”
+
+“Take care then, Baron!”
+
+“I shall not propose till you return, Bonker!”
+
+“No,” said Mr Bunker to himself, “I don’t think you will.”
+
+Just outside St Egbert’s there is a high breezy sweep of downs, falling
+suddenly to a chalky seaward cliff. It overlooks the town and the
+undulating inland country and a great spread of shining sea; and even
+without a spy-glass you can see sail after sail and smoke-wreath after
+smoke-wreath go by all day long.
+
+But Mr Bunker had apparently walked there for other reasons than to see
+the view. He did stop once or twice, but it was only to scan the downs
+ahead, and at the sight of a fluttering skirt he showed no interest in
+anything else, but made a straight line for its owner. For her part, the
+lady seemed to await his coming. She gathered her countenance into an
+expression of as perfect unconcern as a little heightening of her colour
+would allow her, and returned his salute with rather a distant bow. But Mr
+Bunker was not to be damped by this hint of barbed wire. He held out his
+hand and exclaimed cordially, “My dear Lady Alicia! this is charming of
+you!”
+
+“Of course you understand, Mr Beveridge, it’s only——”
+
+“Perfectly,” he interrupted, gaily; “I understand everything I should and
+nothing I shouldn’t. In fact, I have altered little, except in the
+trifling matter of a beard, a moustache or two, and, by the way, a name.”
+
+“A name?”
+
+“I am now Francis Bunker, but as much at your service as ever.”
+
+“But why—I mean, have you really changed your name?”
+
+“Circumstances have changed it, just as circumstances shaved me.”
+
+Lady Alicia made a great endeavour to look haughty. “I do not quite
+understand, Mr——”
+
+“Bunker—a temporary title, but suggestive, and simple for the tradesmen.”
+
+“I do not understand your conduct. Why have you changed your name?”
+
+“Why not?”
+
+This retort was so evidently unanswerable that Lady Alicia changed her
+inquiry.
+
+“Where have you been?”
+
+“Till yesterday, in London.”
+
+“Then you didn’t go to your own parish?” she demanded, reproachfully.
+
+“There were difficulties,” he replied; “in fact, a certified lunatic is
+not in great demand as a parish priest. They seem to prefer them
+uncertified.”
+
+“But didn’t you try?”
+
+“Hard, but it was no use. The bishop was out of town, and I had to wait
+till his return; besides, my position was somewhat insecure. I have had at
+least two remarkable escapes since I saw you last.”
+
+“Are you safe here?” she asked, hurriedly.
+
+“With your consent, yes.”
+
+She looked a little troubled. “I don’t know that I am doing right, Mr
+Bev—Bunker, but——”
+
+“Thank you, my friend,” he interrupted, tenderly.
+
+“Don’t,” she began, hastily. “You mustn’t talk like——”
+
+“Francis Beveridge?” he interrupted. “The trouble is, this rascal Bunker
+bears an unconscionably awkward resemblance to our old friend.”
+
+“You must see that it is quite—ridiculous.”
+
+“Absurd,” he agreed,—“perfectly preposterous. I laugh whenever I think of
+it!”
+
+Poor Lady Alicia felt like a man at a telephone who has been connected
+with the wrong person. Again she made a desperate shift to fall back on a
+becoming pride.
+
+“What do you mean?” she demanded.
+
+“If I mean anything at all, which is always rather doubtful,” he replied,
+candidly, “I mean that Beveridge and his humbug were creatures of an
+occasion, just as Bunker and his are of another. The one occasion is
+passed, and with it the first entertaining gentleman has vanished into
+space. The second gentleman will doubtless follow when his time is up. In
+fact, I may be said to be a series of dissolving views.”
+
+“Then isn’t what you said true?”
+
+“I’m afraid you must be more specific; you see I’ve talked so much.”
+
+“What you said about yourself—and your work.”
+
+He shook his head humorously. “I have no means of checking my statements.”
+
+She looked at him in a troubled way, and then her eyes fell.
+
+“At least,” she said, “you won’t—you mustn’t treat me as—as you did.”
+
+“As Beveridge did? Certainly not; Bunker is the soul of circumspection.
+Besides, he doesn’t require to get out of an asylum.”
+
+“Then it was only to get away?” she cried, turning scarlet.
+
+“Let us call it so,” he replied, looking pensively out to sea.
+
+It seemed wiser to Lady Alicia to change the subject.
+
+“Who is the friend you are staying with?” she asked, suddenly.
+
+“My old friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, and your own most recent
+admirer,” he replied. “I am at present living with, in fact I may say
+upon, him.”
+
+“Does he know?”
+
+“If you meet him, you had perhaps better not inquire into my past
+history.”
+
+“I meant, does he know about—about your knowing me?”
+
+“Bless them!” thought Mr Bunker; “one forgets they’re not _always_
+thinking about us!”
+
+“My noble friend has no idea that I have been so fortunate,” he replied.
+
+Lady Alicia looked relieved. “Who is he?” she asked.
+
+“A German nobleman of great wealth, long descent, and the most
+accommodating disposition. He is at present exploring England under my
+guidance, and I flatter myself that he has already seen and done a number
+of things that are not on most programmes.”
+
+Lady Alicia was silent for a minute. Then she said with a little
+hesitation, “Didn’t you get a letter from me?”
+
+“A letter? No,” he replied, in some surprise.
+
+“I wrote twice—because you asked me to, and I thought—I wondered if you
+were safe.”
+
+“To what address did you write?”
+
+“The address you gave me.”
+
+“And what was that?” he asked, still evidently puzzled.
+
+“You said care of the Archbishop of York would find you.”
+
+Mr Bunker abruptly looked the other way.
+
+“By Jove!” he said, as if lost in speculation, “I must find out what the
+matter was. I can’t imagine why they haven’t been forwarded.”
+
+Lady Alicia appeared a little dissatisfied.
+
+“Was that a _real_ address?” she asked, suddenly.
+
+“Perfectly,” he replied; “as real as Pentonville Jail or the House of
+Commons.” (“And as likely to find me,” he added to himself.)
+
+Lady Alicia seemed to hesitate whether to pursue the subject further, but
+in the middle of her debate Mr Bunker asked, “By the way, has Lady
+Grillyer any recollection of having seen me before?”
+
+“No, she doesn’t remember you at all.”
+
+“Then we shall meet as strangers?”
+
+“Yes, I think it would be better; don’t you?”
+
+“It will save our imaginations certainly.”
+
+Lady Alicia looked at him as though she expected something more; but as
+nothing came, she said, “I think it’s time I went back.”
+
+“For the present then _au revoir_, my dear Alicia. I beg your pardon, Lady
+Alicia; it was that rascal Beveridge who made the slip. It now remains to
+make your formal acquaintance.”
+
+“You—you mustn’t try!”
+
+“The deuce is in these people beginning with B!” he laughed. “They seem to
+do things without trying.”
+
+He pressed her hand, raised his hat, and started back to the town. She, on
+her part, lingered to let him get a clear start of her, and her blue eyes
+looked as though a breeze had blown across and ruffled them.
+
+Mr Bunker had reached the esplanade, and was sauntering easily back
+towards the hotel, looking at the people and smiling now and then to
+himself, when he observed with considerable astonishment two familiar
+figures strolling towards him. They were none other than the Baron and the
+Countess, engaged in animated conversation, and apparently on the very
+best terms with each other. At the sight of him the Baron beamed joyfully.
+
+“Aha, Bonker, so you haf returned!” he cried. “In ze meanvile I haf had
+vun great good fortune. Let me present my friend Mr Bonker, ze Lady
+Grillyer.”
+
+The Countess bowed most graciously, and raising a pair of
+tortoise-shell-rimmed eye-glasses mounted on a stem of the same material,
+looked at Mr Bunker through these with a by no means disapproving glance.
+
+At first sight it was evident that Lady Alicia must “take after” her noble
+father. The Countess was aquiline of nose, large of person, and emphatic
+in her voice and manner.
+
+“You are the ‘showman,’ Mr Bunker, are you not?” she said, with a smile
+for which many of her acquaintances would have given a tolerable
+percentage of their incomes.
+
+“It seems,” replied Mr Bunker, smiling back agreeably, “that the Baron is
+now the showman, and I must congratulate him on his first venture.”
+
+For an instant the Countess seemed a trifle taken aback. It was a
+considerable number of years since she had been addressed in precisely
+this strain, and in fact at no time had her admirers ventured quite so
+dashingly to the attack. But there was something entirely irresistible in
+Mr Bunker’s manner, partly perhaps because he never made the mistake of
+heeding a first rebuff. The Countess coughed, then smiled a little again,
+and said to the Baron, “You didn’t tell me that your showman supplied the
+little speeches as well.”
+
+“I could not know it; zere has not before been ze reason for a pretty
+speech,” responded the Baron, gallantly.
+
+If Lady Grillyer had been anybody else, one would have said that she
+actually giggled. Certainly a little wave of scandalised satisfaction
+rippled all over her.
+
+“Oh, really!” she cried, “I don’t know which of you is the worst
+offender.”
+
+All this time, as may be imagined, Mr Bunker had been in a state of high
+mystification at his friend’s unusual adroitness.
+
+“How the deuce did he get hold of her?” he said to himself.
+
+In the next pause the Baron solved the riddle.
+
+“You vil vunder, Bonker,” he said, “how I did gom to know ze Lady
+Grillyer.”
+
+“I envied, certainly,” replied his friend, with a side glance at the now
+purring Countess.
+
+“She vas of my introdogtions, bot till after you vent out zis morning I
+did not lairn her name. Zen I said to myself, ‘Ze sun shines, Himmel is
+kind! Here now is ze fair Lady Grillyer—my introdogtion!’ and zo zat is
+how, you see.”
+
+“To think of the Baron being here and our only finding each other out by
+chance!” said the Countess.
+
+“By a fortunate providence for me!” exclaimed the Baron, fervently.
+
+“Baron,” said the Countess, trying hard to look severe, “you must really
+keep some of these nice speeches for my daughter. Which reminds me, I
+wonder where she can be?”
+
+“Ach, here she goms!” cried the Baron.
+
+“Why, how did you know her?” asked the Countess.
+
+“I—I did see her last night at dinnair,” explained the Baron, turning red.
+
+“Ah, of course, I remember,” replied the Countess, in a matter-of-fact
+tone; but her motherly eye was sharp, and already it began to look on the
+highly eligible Rudolph with more approval than ever.
+
+“My daughter Alicia, the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, Mr Bunker,” she
+said the next moment.
+
+The Baron went nearly double as he bowed, and the flourish of his hat
+stirred the dust on the esplanade. Mr Bunker’s salutation was less
+profound, but his face expressed an almost equal degree of interested
+respect. Her mother thought that when one of the gentlemen was a nobleman
+with an indefinite number of thousands a-year and the other a person of so
+much discrimination, Lady Alicia’s own bow might have been a trifle less
+reserved. But then even the most astute mother cannot know the reasons for
+everything.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+“Alicia,” said the Countess, “it was really a most fortunate coincidence
+our meeting the Baron at St Egbert’s.”
+
+She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her daughter. It was not
+the first time in the course of the morning that Lady Alicia had listened
+to similar observations, and perhaps that was why she answered somewhat
+listlessly, “Yes, wasn’t it?”
+
+The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis, “I consider him one of
+the most agreeable and best informed young men I have ever met.”
+
+“Is he?” said Lady Alicia, absently.
+
+“I wonder, Alicia, you hadn’t noticed it,” her mother observed, severely;
+“you talked with him most of the afternoon. I should have thought that no
+observant, well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with his
+air and conversation.”
+
+“I—I thought him very pleasant, mamma.”
+
+“I am glad you had so much sense. He is _extremely_ pleasant.”
+
+As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged to continue his
+list of virtues herself.
+
+“He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the oldest in Bavaria. I
+don’t remember what I heard his income was in pfennigs, or whatever they
+measure money by in Germany, but I know that it is more than £20,000
+a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays,” she added, as if
+£20,000 had grown since she was a girl.
+
+“Yes, mamma.”
+
+“He is considered, besides, an unusually promising and intelligent young
+nobleman, and in Germany, where noblemen are still constantly used, that
+says a great deal for him.”
+
+“Does it, mamma?”
+
+“Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that young Englishmen are
+beginning to know less than they ever did, and in most cases that isn’t
+saying much. Compare the Baron with the young men you meet here!”
+
+She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia could only reply,
+“Yes, mamma?”
+
+“Compare them and see the difference. Look at the Baron’s friend, Mr
+Bunker, who is a very agreeable and amusing man, I admit, but look at the
+difference!”
+
+“What is it?” Alicia could not help asking.
+
+“_What_ is it, Alicia! It is—ah—it’s—er—it is, in short, the effect of a
+carefully cultivated mind and good blood.”
+
+“But don’t you think Mr Bunker cultivated, mamma—and—and—well-bred?”
+
+“He has an amusing way of saying things,—but then you must remember that
+the Baron is doubtless equally entertaining in his native language,—and
+possibly a superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions of the
+day; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour on the relations of
+something or other in Germany to—er—something else—a very important point,
+I assure you.”
+
+“I always thought him very clever,” said Lady Alicia with a touch of
+warmth, and then instantly changed colour at the horrible slip.
+
+“You always,” said the Countess in alarmed astonishment; “you hardly spoke
+to him yesterday, and—had you met him before?”
+
+“I—I meant the Baron, mamma.”
+
+“But I have just been saying that he was _unusually_ clever.”
+
+“But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered him only well
+informed.”
+
+Lady Alicia’s blushes and confusion deepened. Her mother looked at her
+with a softening eye. Suddenly she rose, kissed her affectionately, and
+said with the tenderness of triumph, “My _dear_ girl! Of course he is;
+clever, well informed, and a most _desirable_ young man. My Alicia could
+not do——”
+
+She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little premature (though
+the Countess’s methods inclined to the summary and decisive), and again
+kissing her daughter affectionately, remarked gaily, “Let me see, why,
+it’s almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn’t really disappoint
+those young men. I am in the middle of such an amusing discussion with Mr
+Bunker, who is really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron’s
+judgment.”
+
+Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more relieved at her escape
+or dismayed at the construction put upon her explanation. She went out to
+meet the Baron, determined to give no further colour to her mother’s
+unlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced and determined
+a general to leave it at all doubtful who should walk by whose side, and
+who should have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but Lady
+Alicia was quite resolved that the Baron’s blandishments should fall on
+stony ground.
+
+But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous companions. The
+Baron was so amiable and so gallant, that at the end of half an hour she
+was obliged to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should treat
+him with the friendliness of a brother. She learned that he had no
+sisters: her decision was confirmed.
+
+The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh heaven of happy
+loquacity. He poured out particulars of his travels, his more recordable
+adventures, his opinions on various social and political matters, and at
+last even of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership, and the
+glories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened with what he could not doubt
+was an interest touched with tenderness.
+
+“I wonder,” she said, artlessly, “that you find anything to admire in
+England—compared with Bavaria, I mean.”
+
+“Two zings I haf not zere,” replied the Baron, waving his hand round
+towards the horizon. “Vun is ze vet sheet of flowing sea—says not your
+poet so? Ze ozzer” (laying his hand on his heart) “is ze Lady Alicia à
+Fyre.”
+
+There are some people who catch sentiment whenever it happens to be in the
+air, just as others almost equally unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.
+
+Lady Alicia’s reply was much softer than she intended, especially as she
+could have told anybody that the Baron’s compliment was the merest figure
+of speech.
+
+“You needn’t have included me: I’m sure _I’m_ not a great attraction.”
+
+“Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none,” the Baron smiled.
+
+“Didn’t you see anybody—I mean, anything in London that attracted you—that
+you liked?”
+
+“Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted me; but not zat
+shall still attract me ven I am gone avay.”
+
+The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to reply, with the most
+sisterly kindness, “I—we should, of course, like to think that you didn’t
+forget us _altogether_.”
+
+“You need not fear.”
+
+Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more like a second cousin
+than a brother, and with sudden sprightliness she cried, “I wonder where
+that steamer’s going!”
+
+The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named attraction, but for a
+professed lover of the ocean his interest appeared slight. He only replied
+absently, “Ach, zo?”
+
+A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the Countess. The attention
+of Lady Grillyer was divided between the agreeable conversation of her
+companion and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of pfennigs
+a-year bending its titled head over her daughter. In the middle of one of
+Mr Bunker’s most amusing stories she could not forbear interrupting with a
+complacent “they _do_ make a very handsome couple!”
+
+Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked critically from his
+friend’s gaily checked back to Lady Alicia’s trim figure.
+
+“Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker,” said the Countess, hastily,
+realising that she had thought a little too loudly.
+
+“They are like,” responded Mr Bunker, replying to her first remark—“they
+are like a pair of gloves.”
+
+The Countess raised her brows and looked at him sharply.
+
+“I mean, of course, the best quality.”
+
+“I think,” said the Countess, suspiciously, “that you spoke a little
+carelessly.”
+
+“My simile was a little premature?”
+
+“I think so,” said the Countess, decisively.
+
+“Let us call them then an odd pair,” smiled Mr Bunker, unruffled; “and
+only hope that they’ll turn out to be the same size and different hands.”
+
+The Countess actually condescended to smile back.
+
+“She is a _dear_ child,” she murmured.
+
+“His income, I think, is sufficient,” he answered.
+
+Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family. The Countess replied
+seriously, “I am one of those out-of-date people, Mr Bunker, who consider
+some things come before money, but the Baron’s birth and position are
+fortunately unimpeachable.”
+
+“While his mental qualities,” said Mr Bunker, “are, in my experience,
+almost unique.”
+
+The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr Bunker’s discrimination.
+
+Late that night, after they had parted with their friends, the Baron
+smoked in the most unwonted silence while Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa.
+Several times Rudolph threw restive glances at his friend, as if he had
+something on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden himself
+of. At last the silence grew so intolerable that he screwed up his courage
+and with desperate resolution exclaimed, “Bonker!”
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.
+
+“Bonker, I am in loff!”
+
+Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.
+
+“I have also been in love,” he replied.
+
+“You are not now?”
+
+“Alas! no.”
+
+“Vy alas?”
+
+“Because follies _without_ illusions get so infernally dull, Baron.”
+
+The Baron smiled a little foolishly.
+
+“I haf ze illusions, I fear.” Then he broke out enthusiastically, “Ach,
+bot is she not lofly, Bonker? If she will bot lof me back I shall be ze
+happiest man out of heaven!”
+
+“You have wasted no time, Baron.”
+
+The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.
+
+“You are quite sure it is really love this time?” his friend pursued.
+
+“Qvite!” said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.
+
+“There are so many imitations.”
+
+“Not so close zat zey can deceive!”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed Mr Bunker. “These first symptoms are common to them
+all, and yet the varieties of the disease are almost beyond counting. I
+myself have suffered from it in eight different forms. There was the
+virulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as calf-love; there was the kind
+that accompanied itself by a course of the Restoration dramatists; another
+form I may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided into at
+least two; then there was——”
+
+“Schtop! schtop!” cried the Baron. “Ha, ha, ha! Zat will do! Teufel! I
+most examine my heart strictly. And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzer
+kind—ze _real!_”
+
+“They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way. Anything I can do to
+make you worse shall be done.”
+
+“Zanks, my best of friends,” said the Baron, warmly, seizing his hand; “I
+knew you would stand by me!”
+
+Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure, replied, “My
+dear fellow, I’d do anything to oblige a friend in such an interesting
+condition.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron was a few minutes late in joining the party at lunch, and when
+he appeared he held an open letter in his hand. It was only the middle of
+the next day, and yet he could have sworn that last night he was
+comparatively whole-hearted, he felt so very much more in love already.
+
+“Yet anozzer introdogtion has found me out,” he said as he took his seat.
+“I have here a letter of invitation vich I do not zink I shall accept.”
+
+He threw an amorous glance at Lady Alicia, which her watchful mother
+rightly interpreted as indicating the cause of his intended refusal.
+
+“Who is it this time?” asked Mr Bunker.
+
+“Sir Richard Brierley of Brierley Park, Dampshire. Is zat how you
+pronounce it?”
+
+“Sir Richard Brierley!” exclaimed the Countess; “why, Alicia and I are
+going to visit some relatives of ours who live only six miles from
+Brierley Park! When has he asked you, Baron?”
+
+“Ze end of next week.”
+
+“How odd! We are going down to Dampshire at the end of next week too. You
+must accept, Baron!”
+
+“I shall!” exclaimed the overjoyed Baron. “Shall ve go, Bonker?”
+
+“I’m not asked, I’m afraid.”
+
+“Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him.”
+
+“As you please, Baron,” replied Mr Bunker, with a half glance at Lady
+Alicia.
+
+The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the inevitable hour of
+separation, and this piece of good fortune put him into the highest
+spirits. He felt so amiable towards the whole world that when the four
+went out for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by Lady
+Grillyer’s side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and Lady Alicia were out of
+hail ahead. The Baron’s face fell.
+
+“Shall I come down to this place?” said Mr Bunker.
+
+“Would you like to?”
+
+“I should be sorry,” he replied, “to part with—the Baron.”
+
+Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending to this sentence, and
+so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had intended.
+
+“Oh, if you can’t stay away from the Baron, you had better go.”
+
+“It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so charming a person
+as the Baron; perhaps you can feel for me?”
+
+“I think he is very—nice.”
+
+“He thinks you very nice.”
+
+“Does he?” said Lady Alicia, with great indifference, and a moment later
+changed the subject.
+
+Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of course it was quite
+natural that Mr Bunker should find it pleasant to walk for a few minutes
+by the side of the fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was
+artfully pleading his friend’s cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy. He
+remembered Mr Bunker’s invariable success with the gentler sex, his wit,
+his happy smile, and his good looks; and he began to wish most sincerely
+that these fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat
+breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair in front had
+both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.
+
+“Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?” she suggested; and Lady Grillyer’s
+suggestions were of the kind that are evidently meant to be acted upon.
+
+“Ach, I did forged,” said the Baron, absently, and without further remark
+he slackened his pace for a few yards and then was off again.
+
+“You were telling me,” gasped the Countess, “of something you thought
+of—doing when—you went—home.”
+
+“Zo? Oh yes, it vas—Teufel! I do not remember.”
+
+“Really, Baron,” said the Countess, decidedly, “I cannot go any farther at
+this rate. Let us turn. The others will be turning too, in a minute.”
+
+In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer’s maternal instincts
+off their feet, and he suffered for it by seeing nothing of either his
+friend or his charmer for an hour and a half.
+
+That night he accepted Sir Richard’s invitation, but said nothing whatever
+about bringing a friend.
+
+For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of mind as there were
+hours in each day. He walked and rode and drove with Lady Alicia through
+the most romantic spots he could find. He purchased a large assortment of
+golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play that most dangerous of
+games for mixed couples. In turn he broke every club in his set; the
+cavities he hewed in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but
+the heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to damage. There was
+always a moment at which his courage failed him, and in that fatal pause
+she invariably changed the subject with the most innocent air in the
+world.
+
+Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy would seize him. Why
+did she elect to disappear with Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had
+resolved should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same
+resolution every morning, but on this particular one he had no doubt he
+would have put his fate to the touch. And why on a certain moonlight
+evening was he left to the unsentimental company of the Countess?
+
+He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley Park; in fact he
+shunned discussion of any kind with his quondam bosom friend.
+
+The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert’s was almost at an end.
+On the day after to-morrow all four were going to leave (where Mr Bunker
+was going, his friend never troubled to inquire).
+
+They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron’s room. That very
+afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more time in Mr Bunker’s society than in
+his, and the Baron felt that the hour had come for an explanation.
+
+“Bonker, I haf a suspection!” he exclaimed, suddenly. “It is not I, bot
+you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful Lady Alicia. You are not doing me
+fair!”
+
+“My dear Baron!”
+
+“It is so: you are not doing me fair,” the Baron reiterated.
+
+“My dear fellow,” replied Mr Bunker, “it is you are so much in love that
+you have lost your wonted courage. You don’t use your chances.”
+
+“I do not get zem.”
+
+“Nonsense, Baron! I haven’t spent one hour in Lady Alicia’s company to
+your twenty-four, and yet if I’d been matrimonially inclined I could have
+proposed twice over. You’ve had the chance of being accepted fifty times.”
+
+“I haf not been accepted vunce,” said the Baron, moodily.
+
+“Have you put the question?”
+
+“I haf not dared.”
+
+“Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?”
+
+The Baron was silent.
+
+“Ask her to-morrow.”
+
+“No, Bonker,” said the Baron, sadly; “she treats me not like a lover. She
+talks of friendship. I do not vish a frient!”
+
+Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “You don’t think you have
+touched her heart?” he asked at length.
+
+“I fear not.”
+
+“You must try an infallible recipe for winning a woman’s heart. You must
+be in trouble.”
+
+“In trouble!”
+
+“I have tried it once myself, with great success.”
+
+“Bot how?”
+
+“You must fall ill.”
+
+“Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!”
+
+Mr Bunker smiled artfully. “They come to tea in our rooms to-morrow, you
+know. By then, Baron, you must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please.
+A grain of Lady Alicia’s sympathy is worth more than a ton of even your
+wit.”
+
+The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit escaped the Baron, the
+scheme delighted him.
+
+“Ha, Bonker! schön! I tvig! Goot!” he cried. “How shall ve do?”
+
+“Leave it to me.”
+
+The Baron reflected, and his smile died away.
+
+“Sopposing,” he said, slowly, “zey find out? Is it vise? Is it straight?”
+
+“They can’t find out. They go the next morning, and what’s to prevent your
+making a quick recovery and pluckily going down to Brierley Park as the
+interesting convalescent? She will know that you’ve made a dangerous
+journey on her account.”
+
+The Baron’s face cleared again.
+
+“Let us try!” he said; “anyzing is better zan my present state. Bot, be
+careful, Bonker!”
+
+“I shall take the most minute precautions,” replied Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted early. The Baron seemed
+a little nervous now that it came so near the venture, but his friend was
+as cheerful as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage
+into Rudolph.
+
+Mr Bunker’s bedroom opened out of their common sitting-room, and so he
+declared that in the afternoon the Baron must be laid up there.
+
+“Keep your room all morning,” he said, “and look as pale as you can. I
+shall make my room ready for you.”
+
+When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a chair and gazed for a
+few minutes round his bedroom. Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant
+to make the bed immediately, and presently went out to do some shopping.
+On the way he sent word to the Countess, telling her only that the Baron
+was indisposed, but that in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should
+have the pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning he
+spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of the ladies’ way.
+
+When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted upon getting up to eat,
+the Baron was allowed to enter the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of
+astonishment,—and indeed his surprise was natural. The room was as full of
+flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe, and fireplace were most
+artistically draped with art hangings; a plate filled with grapes, a large
+bottle labelled “Two table-spoonfuls every half hour,” and a
+medicine-glass were placed conspicuously on a small table; and, most
+remarkable feature of all, Mr Bunker’s bath filled with water and alive
+with goldfish stood by the side of the bed. A couple of canaries sang in a
+cage by the window, the half-drawn curtains only permitted the most
+delicate light to steal into the room, and in short the whole arrangement
+reflected the utmost credit on his ingenious friend.
+
+The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.
+
+“Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?” he asked.
+
+“To show your love of nature.”
+
+“Vy so?”
+
+“There is nothing that pleases a woman more.”
+
+“My friend, you zink of everyzing!” exclaimed the Baron, admiringly.
+
+When four o’clock approached he drew a night-shirt over his other garments
+and got into bed. Mr Bunker at first was in favour of a complete change of
+attire, but on his friend’s expostulating against such a thorough
+precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather like the historic
+blacking of Othello.
+
+“Leave it all to me, my dear Baron,” he said, reassuringly, as he tucked
+him in; and with that he went into the other room and awaited the arrival
+of their guests.
+
+They came punctually. The Countess was full of concern for the “dear
+Baron,” while Lady Alicia, he could not help thinking, appeared unusually
+reserved. In fact, his quick eye soon divined that something was the
+matter.
+
+“She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager or has found
+something out,” he said to himself.
+
+However, it seemed that if she had found anything out it could have
+nothing to do with the Baron’s indisposition, for she displayed the most
+ingenuous sympathy, and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly
+at himself.
+
+“So sudden!” exclaimed the Countess.
+
+“It is rather sudden, but we’ll hope it may pass as quickly as it came,”
+said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful impression of deep concern veiled by a
+cheerful manner.
+
+“Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?” demanded the countess.
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and replied, “Oh, dear,
+no! that is—at present, Lady Grillyer, we have really no reason to be
+alarmed.”
+
+“I am _so_ sorry,” murmured Lady Alicia.
+
+Her mother looked at her approvingly.
+
+“Poor Baron!” she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.
+
+“So far from home!” sighed Mr Bunker. “And yet so cheerful through it
+all,” he added.
+
+“What did you say was the matter?” asked the Countess.
+
+Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective to maintain a
+little mystery round his friend’s malady.
+
+“The doctor hasn’t yet given a decided opinion,” he replied.
+
+“Can’t we do anything?” said Lady Alicia, softly.
+
+Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up to the proper pitch of
+sympathy.
+
+“Poor Rudolph!” he exclaimed. “It would cheer him immensely, I know, and
+ease my own anxiety as well, if you would venture in to see him for a few
+minutes. In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a woman’s.”
+
+The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered for an instant between
+those proprieties for which she was a famous stickler and this admirable
+chance of completing the Baron’s conquest.
+
+“His relations are far away,” said Mr Bunker, looking pensively out of the
+window.
+
+“We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?” suggested Lady Grillyer.
+
+“Yes, mamma,” replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity that rather surprised
+their host.
+
+With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies into the darkened
+sick-room. The Baron, striving to conceal his exultation under a rueful
+semblance, greeted them with a languid yet happy smile.
+
+“Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you, Lady Alicia, how can I
+zank you?”
+
+“My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to find our host _hors de
+combat_,” said the Countess, graciously.
+
+“Just when you wanted to go away too!” added Lady Alicia, sympathetically.
+
+The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.
+
+“Alas!” he replied, “it is hard indeed.”
+
+“You must hurry up and get better,” said the Countess, in her most
+cheering sick-room manner. “It won’t do to disappoint the Brierleys, you
+know.”
+
+“You must come down for _part_ of the time,” smiled her daughter.
+
+These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron that he placed his
+hand on his brow and turned slightly away to conceal his emotion. At the
+same time Mr Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily into a
+chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his own face in his hand.
+
+Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions, and looked from one
+to the other with great concern.
+
+“Dear me!” said the Countess, “surely it isn’t so very serious, Mr Bunker;
+it isn’t _infectious_, is it?”
+
+The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without waiting for his
+more diplomatic friend to reply, he answered hastily, “Ach, no, it is bot
+a cold.”
+
+Lady Grillyer’s expression changed.
+
+“A cold!” she said. “Dear me, that can’t be so very serious, Baron.”
+
+“It is a bad cold,” said the Baron.
+
+By this time the ladies’ eyes were growing more used to the dim light, and
+Mr Bunker could see that they were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.
+
+“This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture,” said the Countess, examining the
+bottle.
+
+The Baron incautiously admitted it was.
+
+“Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!” she exclaimed; “why, I never heard
+of taking a cough-mixture in such doses. Besides, your cough doesn’t seem
+so very bad, Baron.”
+
+“Ze doctor told me to take it so,” replied the Baron.
+
+The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said, with a touch of suspicion
+in her voice, “I thought, Mr Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion.”
+
+The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his friend.
+
+“In the Baron’s desire to spare your feelings,” replied Mr Bunker,
+gravely, “he has been a little inaccurate; that is not precisely an
+ordinary cough-mixture.”
+
+“Oh,” said the Countess.
+
+Lady Alicia’s attention had been strongly attracted by the bath, and
+suddenly she exclaimed, “Why, there are goldfish in it!”
+
+The Baron’s nerve was fast deserting him.
+
+“Ze doctor ordered zem,” he began—“I mean, I am fond of fishes.”
+
+The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man, and then turned
+severely to his friend.
+
+“_What_ is the matter with the Baron?” she demanded.
+
+Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic measures.
+
+“The dog was destroyed at once,” he replied, with intense gravity. “It is
+therefore impossible to say exactly what is the matter.”
+
+“_The dog!_” cried the two ladies together.
+
+“By this evening,” he continued, “we shall know the worst—or the best.”
+
+“What do you mean?” exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing a step from the
+bed.
+
+“I mean,” replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration, “that this bath is
+a delicate test. No victim of the dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to
+look——”
+
+But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even as he was speaking the
+Baron’s face had passed through a series of the most extraordinary
+expressions, which she not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.
+
+“It’s beginning already!” she shrieked. “Alicia, my love, come quickly.
+How dare you expose us, sir?”
+
+“Calm yourselves. I assure you——” pleaded Mr Bunker, coming hastily after
+them, but they were at the door before him.
+
+The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying, “No, no, it is false!”
+he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a tweed suit only half concealed by his
+night-shirt, and, forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great
+splash among the startled goldfish.
+
+The Countess paused in the half-opened door and looked at him with horror
+that rapidly passed into intense indignation.
+
+“I am not ill!” he cried. “It vos zat rascal Bonker’s plot. He made me! I
+haf not hydrophobia!”
+
+Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into hysterical giggles.
+For a moment her mother glared at the two young men in silence, and then
+only remarking, “I have never been so insulted before,” she went out, and
+her daughter followed her.
+
+As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after roar of laughter,
+but the humorous side of the situation seemed to appeal very slightly to
+his injured friend.
+
+“You rascal! you villain!” he shouted, “zis is ze end of our friendship,
+Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell me, sare!”
+
+“My dear Baron,” gasped Mr Bunker, “I could not put such an inartistic end
+to so fine a joke for the world.”
+
+“You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not ze English name bad
+enoff for you!”
+
+With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and replied, still smiling:
+“After all, Baron, what harm has been done? I get all the blame, and the
+sympathy you wanted is sure to turn to you.”
+
+“False friend!” thundered the Baron.
+
+“My dear Baron!” said Mr Bunker, mildly, “whose fault was it that the plot
+miscarried? If you’d only left it all to me——”
+
+“Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor, it vas a trick to
+vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak to me nevermore!” And with that the
+infuriated nobleman rushed off to his own room.
+
+As there was no further sign of him for the next half hour, Mr Bunker,
+still smiling to himself at the recollection, went out to take the air;
+but just as he was about to descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia
+lingering in a passage. He turned back and went up to her.
+
+She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed to have a strain of
+anger running beneath it.
+
+“I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-day through the
+dead-letter office. Nothing was known about you at the address you gave.”
+
+“I am not surprised,” he replied.
+
+“Then it was false?”
+
+“As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn’t happen to be
+mine.”
+
+“Were you _ever_ in the Church?”
+
+“Not to my personal knowledge.”
+
+“Yet you said you were?”
+
+“I was in an asylum.”
+
+She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he smiled back at her with
+great amusement.
+
+“You have deceived _me_,” she said, “and you have treated your other
+friend—who is far too good for you—disgracefully. Have you anything to say
+for yourself?”
+
+“Not a word,” he replied, cheerfully.
+
+“You must _never_ treat me again as—as I let you.”
+
+As a smile played for an instant about his face, she added quickly, “I
+don’t _suppose_ I shall ever see you again. In future we are not _likely_
+to meet.”
+
+“The lady and the lunatic?” said he. “Well, perhaps not. Good-bye, and
+better luck.”
+
+“Good-bye,” she answered coldly, and added as they parted, “my mother, of
+course, is extremely angry with you.”
+
+“There,” he said with a smile, “you see I still come in useful.”
+
+She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly downstairs and out of the
+hotel.
+
+“It seems to me,” he reflected, “that I shall have to set out on my
+adventures again alone.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron’s natural good temper might have forgiven his friend, but all
+night he was a prey to something against which no temper is proof. The
+Baron was bitterly jealous. All through breakfast he never spoke a word,
+and when Mr Bunker asked him what train he intended to take, he replied
+curtly, as he went to the door, “Ze 5.30.”
+
+“And where do you go now?”
+
+“Vat is zat to you? I go for a valk. I vould be alone.”
+
+“Good-bye, then, Baron,” said Mr Bunker. “I think I shall go up to town.”
+
+“Go, zen,” replied the Baron, opening the door; “I haf no furzer vish to
+see a treacherous _sponge_ zat vill neizer be true nor fight, bot jost
+takes money.”
+
+He slammed the door and went out. If he had waited for a moment, he would
+have seen a look in Mr Bunker’s face that he had never seen before. He
+half started from his chair to follow, and then sat down again and thought
+with his lips very tight set.
+
+All at once they broke into a smile that was grimmer than anything the
+Baron had known.
+
+“I accept your challenge, Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,” he said to
+himself; “but the weapons I shall choose myself.”
+
+He took a telegraph form, wrote and despatched a wire, and then with
+considerable haste proceeded to pack. Within an hour he had left the
+hotel.
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+When a servant, later in the day, was performing, under the Baron’s
+directions, the same office for him, a series of discoveries that still
+further disturbed his peace of mind were jointly made. Not only the more
+sporting portions of his wardrobe but his gun and cartridges as well, had
+vanished, and, search and storm as he liked, there was not a trace of them
+to be found.
+
+“Ze rascal!” he muttered; “I did not zink he was zief as well.”
+
+It is hardly wonderful that he arrived at Brierley station in anything but
+an amiable frame of mind. There, to his great annoyance and surprise, he
+found no signs of Sir Richard’s carriage; there were no stables near, and,
+after fuming for some time on the platform, he was forced to leave his
+luggage with the station-master and proceed on foot to Brierley Park.
+
+He arrived shortly before seven o’clock, after a dark and muddy tramp,
+and, still swearing under his breath, pulled the bell with indignant
+energy.
+
+“I am ze Baron von Blitzenberg, bot zere vas no carriage at ze station,”
+he informed the butler in his haughtiest tones.
+
+The man looked at him suspiciously.
+
+“The Baron arrived this morning,” he said.
+
+“Ze Baron? Vat Baron? I am ze Baron!”
+
+“I shall fetch Sir Richard,” said the butler, turning away.
+
+Presently a stout florid gentleman, accompanied by three friends, all
+evidently very curious and amused about something, came to the door, and,
+to the poor Baron’s amazement and horror, he recognised in one of these
+none other than Mr Bunker, arrayed with much splendour in his own ornate
+shooting suit.
+
+“What do you want?” asked the florid gentleman, sternly.
+
+“Have I ze pleasure of addressing Sir Richard Brierley?” inquired the
+Baron, raising his hat and bowing profoundly.
+
+“You have.”
+
+“Zen I must tell you zat I am ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.”
+
+“Gom, gom, my man!” interposed Mr Bunker. “I know you. Zis man, Sir
+Richard, has before annoyed me. He is vat you call impostor, cracked; he
+has vollowed me from Germany. Go avay, man!”
+
+“You are impostor! You scoundrel, Bonker!” shouted the wrathful Baron. “He
+is no Baron, Sir Richard! Ha! Vould you again deceive me, Bonker?”
+
+“You must lock him up, I fear,” said Mr Bunker. “To-morrow, my man, you
+vill see ze police.”
+
+So completely did the Baron lose his head that he became almost
+inarticulate with rage: his protestations, however, were not of the
+slightest avail. That morning Sir Richard had received a wire informing
+him that the Baron was coming by an earlier train than he had originally
+intended, and, since his arrival, the spurious nobleman had so ingratiated
+himself with his host that Sir Richard was filled with nothing but
+sympathy for him in his persecution. After a desperate struggle the
+unfortunate Rudolph was overpowered and conveyed in the undignified
+fashion known as the frog’s march to a room in a remote wing, there to
+pass the night under lock and key.
+
+“The scoundrelly German impostor!” exclaimed a young man, a fellow visitor
+of the Baron Bunker’s, to a tall, military-looking gentleman.
+
+Colonel Savage seemed lost in thought.
+
+“It is a curious thing, Trelawney,” he replied, at length, “that the
+footman who attends the Baron should have told my man—who, of course, told
+me—that a number of his things are marked ‘Francis Beveridge.’ It is also
+rather strange that this impostor should have known so little of the
+Baron’s movements as to arrive several hours after him, assuming he had
+hatched a plot to impersonate him.”
+
+“But the man’s obviously mad.”
+
+“Must be,” said the colonel.
+
+The house party were assembled in the drawing-room waiting for dinner to
+be announced. The bogus Baron was engaged in an animated discussion with
+Colonel Savage on the subject of Bavarian shootings, and the colonel
+having omitted to inform him that he had some personal experience of
+these, Mr Bunker was serving up such of his friend’s anecdotes as he could
+remember with sauce more peculiarly his own.
+
+“Five hondred vild boars,” he was saying, “eight hondred brace of
+partridges, many bears, and rabbits so moch zat it took five veeks to bury
+zem. All zese ve did shoot before breakfast, colonel. Aftair breakfast
+again ve did go out——”
+
+But at that moment his attention was sharply arrested by a question of
+Lady Brierley’s.
+
+“Has Dr Escott arrived?” she asked.
+
+The Baron Bunker paused, and in spite of his habitual coolness, the
+observant colonel noticed that he started ever so slightly.
+
+“He came half an hour ago,” replied Sir Richard. “Ah, here he is.”
+
+As he spoke, a well-remembered figure came into the room, and after a
+welcome from his hostess, the dinner procession started.
+
+“Whoever is that tall fair man in front?” Dr Escott asked his partner as
+they crossed the hall.
+
+“Oh, that’s the Baron von Blitzenberg: such an amusing man! We are all in
+love with him already.”
+
+All through dinner the spurious Baron saw that Dr Escott’s eyes turned
+continually and curiously on him; yet never for an instant did his spirits
+droop or his conversation flag. Witty and charming as ever, he discoursed
+in his comical foreign accent to the amusement of all within hearing, and
+by the time the gentlemen adjourned to the billiard-room, he had
+established the reputation of being the most delightful German ever seen.
+Yet Dr Escott grew more suspicious and bewildered, and Mr Bunker felt that
+he was being narrowly watched. The skill at billiards of a certain Francis
+Beveridge used to be the object of the doctor’s unbounded admiration, and
+it was with the liveliest interest that he watched a game between Colonel
+Savage and the Baron.
+
+That nobleman knew well the danger of displaying his old dexterity, and to
+the onlookers it soon became apparent that this branch of his education
+had been neglected. He not only missed the simplest shots, but seemed very
+ignorant of the rules of the English game, and in consequence he came in
+for a little good-natured chaff from Sir Richard and Trelawney. When the
+colonel’s score stood at 90 and the Baron had scarcely reached 25
+Trelawney cried, “I’ll bet you ten to one you don’t win, Baron!”
+
+“What in?” asked the Baron, and the colonel noticed that for the first
+time be pronounced a _w_ correctly.
+
+“Sovereigns,” said Trelawney, gaily.
+
+The temptation was irresistible.
+
+“Done!” said the Baron. With a professional disregard for conventions he
+bolted the white into the middle pocket, leaving his own ball nicely
+beside the red. Down in its turn went the red, and Mr Bunker was on the
+spot. Three followed three in monotonous succession, Trelawney’s face
+growing longer and Dr Escott getting more and more excited, till with a
+smile Mr Bunker laid down his cue, a sensational winner.
+
+His victory was received in silence: Trelawney handed over two five-pound
+notes without a word, and the colonel returned to his whisky-and-soda. Dr
+Escott could contain himself no longer, and whispering something to Sir
+Richard, the two left the room.
+
+Imperturbable as ever, Mr Bunker talked gaily for a few minutes to an
+unresponsive audience, and then, remarking that he would join the ladies,
+left the room.
+
+A minute or two later Sir Richard, with an anxious face, returned with Dr
+Escott.
+
+“Where is the Baron?” he asked.
+
+“Gone to join the ladies,” replied Trelawney, adding under his breath,
+“d—— n him!”
+
+But the Baron was not with the ladies, nor, search the house as they
+might, was there a trace to be seen of that accomplished nobleman.
+
+“He has gone!” said Sir Richard.
+
+“What the deuce is the meaning of it?” exclaimed Trelawney.
+
+Colonel Savage smiled grimly and suggested, “Perhaps he wants to give the
+impostor an innings.”
+
+“Dr Escott, I think, can tell you,” replied the baronet.
+
+“Gentlemen,” said the doctor, “the man whom you have met as the Baron von
+Blitzenberg is none other than a most cunning and determined lunatic. He
+escaped from the asylum where I am at present assistant doctor, after all
+but murdering me; he has been seen in London since, but how he came to
+impersonate the unfortunate gentleman whom you locked up this afternoon I
+cannot say.”
+
+Before they broke up for the night the genuine Baron, released from
+confinement and soothed by the humblest apologies and a heavy supper,
+recounted the main events in Mr Beveridge _alias_ Bunker’s brief career in
+town. On his exploits in St Egbert’s he felt some delicacy in touching,
+but at the end of what was after all only a fragmentary and one-sided
+narrative, even the defrauded Trelawney could not but admit that, whatever
+the departed gentleman’s failings, his talents at least were worthy of a
+better cause.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The party at Brierley Park had gone at last to bed. The Baron was
+installed in his late usurper’s room, and from the clock-tower the hour of
+three had just been tolled. Sympathy and Sir Richard’s cellar had greatly
+mollified the Baron’s wrath; he had almost begun to see the humorous side
+of his late experience; as a rival Mr Bunker was extinct, and with an easy
+mind and a placid smile he had fallen asleep some two hours past.
+
+The fire burned low, and for long nothing but the occasional sigh of the
+wind in the trees disturbed the silence. At length, had the Baron been
+awake, he might have heard the stealthiest of footsteps in the corridor
+outside. Then they stopped; his door was gently opened, and first a head
+and then a whole man slipped in.
+
+Still the Baron slept, dreaming peacefully of his late companion. They
+were driving somewhere in a hansom, Mr Bunker was telling one of his most
+amusing stories, when there came a shock, the hansom seemed to turn a
+somersault, and the Baron awoke. At first he thought he must be dreaming
+still; the electric light had been turned on and the room was bright as
+day, but, more bewildering yet, Mr Bunker was seated on his bed, gazing at
+him with an expression of thoughtful amusement.
+
+“Well, Baron,” he said, “I trust you are comfortable in these excellent
+quarters.”
+
+The Baron, half awake and wholly astonished, was unable to collect his
+ideas in time to make any reply.
+
+“But remember,” continued Mr Bunker, “you have a reputation to live up to.
+I have set the standard high for Bavarian barons.”
+
+The indignant Baron at last recovered his wits.
+
+“If you do not go away _at vonce_,” he said, raising himself on his
+elbows, “I shall raise ze house upon you!”
+
+“Have you forgotten that you are talking to a dangerous lunatic, who
+probably never stirs without his razor?”
+
+The Baron looked at him and turned a little pale. He made no further
+movement, but answered stoutly enough, “Vat do you vant?”
+
+“In the first place, I want my brush and comb, a few clothes, and my
+hand-bag. Events happened rather more quickly this evening than I had
+anticipated.”
+
+“Take zem.”
+
+“I should also like,” continued Mr Bunker, unmoved, “to have a little talk
+with you. I think I owe you some explanation—perhaps an apology or two—and
+I’m afraid it’s my last chance.”
+
+“Zay it zen.”
+
+“Of course I understand that you make no hostile demonstration till I am
+finished? A hunted man must take precautions, you know.”
+
+“I vill let you go.”
+
+“Thanks, Baron.”
+
+Mr Bunker folded his arms, leaned his back against the foot of the bed,
+and began in his half-bantering way, “I have amused you, Baron, now and
+then, you must admit?”
+
+The Baron made no reply.
+
+“That I place to my credit, and I think few debts are better worth
+repaying. On the other hand, I confess I have subsisted for some time
+entirely on your kindness. I’m afraid that alone counterbalances the debt,
+and when it comes to my being the means of your taking a bath in mixed
+company and spending an evening in a locked room, there’s no doubt the
+balance is greatly on your side.”
+
+“I zink so,” observed the Baron.
+
+“So I’ll tell you a true story, a favour with which I haven’t indulged any
+one for some considerable time.”
+
+The Baron coughed, but said nothing.
+
+“My biography for all practical purposes,” Mr Bunker continued, “begins in
+that sequestered retreat, Clankwood Asylum. How and with whom I came there
+I haven’t the very faintest recollection. I simply woke up from an
+extraordinary drowsiness to find myself recovering from a sharp attack of
+what I may most euphoniously call mental excitement. The original cause of
+it is very dim in my mind, and has, so far as I remember, nothing to do
+with the rest of the story. The attack was very short, I believe. I soon
+came to something more or less like myself; only, Baron, the singular
+thing is, that it was to all intents and purposes a new self—whether
+better or worse, my faulty memory does not permit me to say. I’d clean
+forgotten who I was and all about me. I found myself called Francis
+Beveridge, but that wasn’t my old name, I know.”
+
+“Ha!” exclaimed the Baron, growing interested despite himself.
+
+“And the most remarkable thing of all is that up till this day I haven’t
+the very vaguest notion what my real name is.”
+
+“Zo?” said the Baron. “Bot vy should they change it?”
+
+“There you’ve laid your finger on the mystery, Baron. Why? Heaven knows: I
+wish I did!”
+
+The Baron looked at him with undisguised interest.
+
+“Strange!” he said, thoughtfully.
+
+“Damnably strange. I found myself compelled to live in an asylum and
+answer to a new name, and really, don’t you know, under the circumstances
+I could give no very valid reason for getting out. I seemed to have
+blossomed there like one of the asylum plants. I couldn’t possibly have
+been more identified with the place. Besides, I’m free to confess that for
+some time my reason, taking it all in all, wasn’t particularly valid on
+any point. By George, I had a funny time! Ha, ha, ha!”
+
+His mirth was so infectious that the Baron raised his voice in a hearty
+“Ha, ha!” and then stopped abruptly, and said cautiously, “Haf a care,
+Bonker, zey may hear!”
+
+“However, Baron,” Mr Bunker continued, “out I was determined to get, and
+out I came in the manner of which perhaps my friend Escott has already
+informed you.”
+
+The Baron grinned and nodded.
+
+“I came up to town, and on my very first evening I had the good fortune to
+meet the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg—as perhaps you may remember. In my
+own defence, Baron, I may fairly plead that since I could remember nothing
+about my past career, I was entitled to supply the details from my
+imagination. After all, I have no proof that some of my stories may not
+have been correct. I used this privilege freely in Clankwood, and, in a
+word, since I couldn’t tell the truth if I wanted to, I quenched the
+desire.”
+
+“You hombog!” said the Baron, not without a note of admiration.
+
+“I was, and I gloried in it. Baron, if you ever want to know how ample a
+thing life can be, become a certified lunatic! You are quite irresponsible
+for your debts, your crimes, and, not least, your words. It certainly
+enlarges one’s horizon. All this time, I may say, I was racking my
+brains—which, by the way, have been steadily growing saner in other
+matters—for some recollections of my previous whereabouts, my career, if I
+had any, and, above all, of my name.”
+
+“Can you remember nozing?”
+
+“I can remember a large country house which I think belonged to me, but in
+what part of the country it stands I haven’t the slightest recollection. I
+can’t remember any family, and as no one has inquired for me, I don’t
+suppose I had any. Many incidents—sporting, festive, amusing, and
+discreditable—I remember distinctly, and many faces, but there’s nothing
+to piece them together with. Can you recall one or two incidents in town,
+when people spoke to me or bowed to me?”
+
+“Yes, vell; I vondered zen.”
+
+“I suppose they knew me. In a general sort of way I knew them. But when a
+man doesn’t know his own name, and will probably be replaced in an asylum
+if he’s identified, there isn’t much encouragement for greeting old
+friends. And do you remember my search for a name in the hotel at St
+Egbert’s?”
+
+“Yah—zat is, yes.”
+
+“It was for my own I was looking.”
+
+“You found it not?”
+
+“No. The worst of it is, I can’t even remember what letter it began with.
+Sometimes I think it was M, or perhaps N, and sometimes I’m almost sure it
+was E. It will come to me some day, no doubt, Baron, but till it does I
+shall have to wander about a nameless man, looking for it. And after all,
+I am not without the consolations of a certain useful, workaday kind of
+philosophy.”
+
+He rose from the bed and smiled humorously at his friend.
+
+“And now, Baron,” he said, “it only remains to offer you such thanks and
+apologies as a lunatic may, and then clear out before the cock crows.
+These are my brushes, I think.”
+
+There was still something on the Baron’s mind: he lay for a moment
+watching Mr Bunker collect a few odds and ends and put them rapidly into a
+small bag, and then blurted out suddenly, “Ze Lady Alicia—do you loff
+her?”
+
+“By Jove!” exclaimed Mr Bunker, “I’d forgotten all about her. I ought to
+have told you that I once met her before, when she showed
+sympathy—practical sympathy, I may add—for an unfortunate gentleman in
+Clankwood. That’s all.”
+
+“You do not loff her?” persisted the Baron.
+
+“I, my dear chap? No. You are most welcome to her—_and_ the countess.”
+
+“Does she not loff you?”
+
+“On my honour, no. I told her a few early reminiscences; she happened to
+discover they were not what is generally known as true, and took so absurd
+a view of the case that I doubt whether she would speak to me again if she
+met me. In fact, Baron, if I read the omens aright—and I’ve had some
+experience—you only need courage and a voice.”
+
+The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of the clothes as the Baron
+sprang out on to the floor, and the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in
+his embrace.
+
+“Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected, I haf not been ze true
+friend; you have sairved me right to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a
+Baron to gom! You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have varmed my
+heart. My dear frient!”
+
+To tell the truth, Mr Bunker looked, for the first time in their
+acquaintance, a little ill at ease. He laughed, but it sounded affected.
+
+“My dear fellow—hang it! You’d make me out a martyr. As a matter of fact,
+I’ve been such a thorn as very few people would stand in their flesh.
+There’s nothing to forgive, my dear Baron, and a lot to thank you for.”
+
+“I haf been rude, Bonker; I haf insulted you! You forgif me?”
+
+“With all my heart, if you think it’s needed, but——”
+
+“And you vill not go now? You vill stay here?”
+
+“What, two Barons at once? My dear chap, we’d merely confuse the butler.”
+
+“Ach, you vill joke, you hombog! But you most stay!”
+
+“And what about my friend, Dr Escott? No, Baron, it would only mean
+breakfast and the next train to Clankwood.”
+
+“Zey vill not take you ven you tell zem! I shall insist viz Sir Richard!”
+
+“The law is the law, Baron, and I’m a certified lunatic. Here we must part
+till the weather clears; and mind, you mustn’t say a word about my coming
+to see you.”
+
+The Baron looked at him disconsolately.
+
+“You most really go, Bonker?”
+
+“Really, Baron.”
+
+“And vere to?”
+
+“To London town again by the milk train.”
+
+“And vat vill you do zere?”
+
+“Look for my name.”
+
+“Bot how?”
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated.
+
+“I have a little clue,” he said at last, “only a thread, but I’ll try it
+for what it’s worth.”
+
+“Haf you money enoff?”
+
+“Thanks to your generosity and my skill at billiards, yes, which reminds
+me that I must return poor Trelawney’s ten pounds some day. At present, I
+can’t afford to be scrupulous. So, you see, I’m provided for.”
+
+“Cigars at least, Bonker! You most smoke, my frient vizout a name!”
+
+The Baron, night-shirted and barefooted as he was, dived into his
+portmanteau and produced a large box of cigars.
+
+“You like zese, Bonker. Zey are your own choice. Smoke zem and zink of
+me!”
+
+“A few, Baron, would be a pleasant reminiscence,” said his friend, with a
+smile, “if you really insist.”
+
+“All, Bonker,—I vill not keep vun! I can get more. No, you most take zem
+all!”
+
+Mr Bunker opened his bag and put in the box without a word.
+
+“You most write,” said the Baron, “tell me vere you are. I shall not tell
+any soul, bot ven I can, I shall gom up, and ve shall sup togezzer vunce
+more. Pairhaps ve may haf anozzer adventure, ha, ha!”
+
+The Baron’s laugh was almost too hearty to be true.
+
+“I shall let you know, as soon as I find a room. It won’t be in the
+Mayonaise this time! Good-bye: good sport and luck in love!”
+
+“Good-bye, my frient, good-bye,” said the Baron, squeezing his hand.
+
+His friend was half out of the door when he turned, and said with an
+intonation quite foreign either to Beveridge or Bunker, and yet which came
+very pleasantly, “I forgot to warn you of one thing when I advised you to
+try the _rôle_ of certified lunatic—you are not likely to make so good a
+friend as I have.”
+
+He shut the door noiselessly and was gone.
+
+The Baron stood in the middle of the floor for fully five minutes, looking
+blankly at the closed door; then with a sigh he turned out the light and
+tumbled into bed again.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART IV.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Dover express was nearing town: evening had begun to draw in, and from
+the wayside houses people saw the train roar by like a huge glowworm; but
+they could hardly guess that it was hurrying two real actors to the climax
+of a real comedy.
+
+From the opposite sides of a first-class carriage these two looked
+cheerfully at one another. The Channel was safely behind them, London was
+close ahead, and the piston of the engine seemed to thump a triumphal air.
+
+“We’ve done it, Twiddel, my boy!” said the one.
+
+“Thank Heaven!” replied the other.
+
+“_And_ myself,” added his friend.
+
+“Yes,” said Twiddel; “you played your part uncommonly well, Welsh.”
+
+“It was the deuce of a fine spree!” sighed Welsh.
+
+“The deuce,” assented Twiddel.
+
+“I’m only sorry it’s all over,” Welsh went on, gazing regretfully up at
+the lamp of the carriage. “I’d give the remains of my character and my
+chance of a public funeral to be starting again from Paris by the morning
+train!”
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+“With the same head you had that morning?”
+
+“Yes, by George! Even with the same mile of dusty gullet!”
+
+“It’s all over now,” said Twiddel, philosophically, and yet rather
+nervously—“at least the amusing part of it.”
+
+“All the fun, my boy, all the fun. All the dinners and the drinks, and the
+touching of hats to the aristocratic travellers, and the girls that
+sighed, and the bowing and scraping. Do you remember the sporting baronet
+who knew my uncle? Now, I’m plain Robert Welsh, whose uncles, as far as I
+am aware, don’t know a baronet among ’em.”
+
+He smiled a little sardonically.
+
+“And the baron at Fogelschloss,” said Twiddel.
+
+“Who insisted on learning my pedigree back to Alfred the Great! Gad, I
+gave it him, though, and I doubt whether the real Essington could have
+done as much. I’d rather surprise some of these noblemen if I turned up
+again in my true character!”
+
+“Thank the Lord, we’re not likely to meet them again!” exclaimed the
+doctor, devoutly.
+
+“No,” said Welsh; “here endeth the second lesson.”
+
+His friend, who had been well brought up, looked a trifle uncomfortable at
+this quotation.
+
+“I say,” he remarked a few minutes later, “we haven’t finished yet. We’ve
+got to get the man out again, and hand him back to his friends.”
+
+“Cured,” said Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+“I wonder how he is?”
+
+“We’ll soon see.”
+
+They fell silent again, while the train hurried nearer and nearer London
+town. Welsh seemed to be musing on some nice point, it might be of
+conscience, it might also conceivably be of a more practical texture. At
+last he said, “There’s just one thing, old man. What about the fee?”
+
+“I’ll get a cheque for it, I suppose,” his friend replied, with an almost
+excessive air of mastery over the problem.
+
+“Ha, ha!” laughed Welsh; “you know what I mean. It’s a delicate question
+and all that, but, hang it, it’s got to be answered.”
+
+“What has?”
+
+“The division of the spoil.”
+
+Twiddel looked dignified.
+
+“I’ll see you get your share, old man,” he answered, easily.
+
+“But what share?”
+
+“You suggested £100, I think.”
+
+“Out of £500—when I’ve done all the deceiving and told all the lies! Come,
+old man!”
+
+“Well, what do you want?”
+
+“Do you remember a certain crisis when we’d made a slip——”
+
+“You’d made a slip!”
+
+“_We_ had made a slip, and you wanted to chuck the game and bolt? Do you
+remember also the terms I proposed when I offered to beard the local god
+almighty in his lair and explain it all away, and how he became our bosom
+pal and we were saved?”
+
+“Well?”
+
+“£300 to me, £200 to you,” said Welsh, decisively.
+
+“Rot, old man. I’ll share fairly, if you insist. £250 apiece, will that
+do?”
+
+Welsh said nothing, but his face was no longer the countenance of the
+jovial adventurer.
+
+“It will have to, I suppose,” he replied, at length.
+
+It was with this little cloud on the horizon that they saw the lights of
+London twinkle through the windows, and were carried into the clamour of
+the platforms.
+
+They both drove first to Twiddel’s rooms; and as they looked out once more
+on the life and lights and traffic of the streets, their faces cleared
+again.
+
+“We’ll have a merry evening!” cried Welsh.
+
+“A little supper,” suggested Twiddel; “a music-hall——”
+
+“Et cetera,” added Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+The doctor had written of their coming, and they found a fire in the back
+room, and the table laid.
+
+“Ah,” cried Welsh, “this looks devilish comfortable.”
+
+“A letter for me,” said Twiddel; “from Billson, I think.”
+
+He read it and threw it to his friend, remarking, “I call this rather cool
+of him.”
+
+Welsh read—
+
+“DEAR GEORGE,—I am just off for three weeks’ holiday. Sorry for leaving
+your practice, but I think it can look after itself till you return.
+
+“You have only had two patients, and one fee between them. The second man
+vanished mysteriously. I shall tell you about it when I come back. He
+boned a bill, too, I fancy, but the story will keep.
+
+“I am looking forward to hearing the true tale of your adventures. Good
+luck to you.—Yours ever,
+
+                                                          THOMAS BILLSON.”
+
+“Boned a bill?” exclaimed Welsh. “What bill, I wonder?”
+
+“Something that came when I was away, I suppose. Hang it, I think Billson
+might have looked after things better!”
+
+“It sounds queer,” said Welsh, reflectively; “I wonder what it was?”
+
+“Confound Billson, he might have told me,” observed the doctor. “But, I
+say, you know we have something more practical to see to.”
+
+“Getting the man out again?”
+
+“Yes.”
+
+“Well, let’s have a little grub first.”
+
+Twiddel rang the bell, and the frowsy little maid entered, carrying a
+letter on a tray.
+
+“Dinner,” said he.
+
+“Please, sir,” began the maid, holding out the tray, “this come for you
+near a month agow, but Missis she bin and forgot to send it hafter you.”
+
+“Confound her!” said Twiddel, taking the letter.
+
+He looked at the envelope, and remarked with a little start of nervous
+excitement, “From Dr Congleton.”
+
+“News of Mr Beveridge,” laughed Welsh.
+
+The doctor read the first few lines, and then, as if he had got an
+electric shock, the letter fell from his hand, and an expression of the
+most utter and lively consternation came over his face.
+
+“Heavens!” he ejaculated, “it’s all up.”
+
+“What’s up?” cried Welsh, snatching at the letter.
+
+“He’s run away!”
+
+Welsh looked at him for a moment in some astonishment, and then burst out
+laughing.
+
+“What a joke!” he cried; “I don’t see anything to make a fuss about. We’re
+jolly well rid of him.”
+
+“The fee! I won’t get a penny till I bring him back. And the whole thing
+will be found out!”
+
+As the full meaning of this predicament burst upon Welsh, his face
+underwent a change by no means pleasant to watch. For a full minute he
+swore, and then an ominous silence fell upon the room.
+
+Twiddel was the first to recover himself.
+
+“Let me see the letter,” he said; “I haven’t finished it.”
+
+Welsh read it aloud—
+
+“DEAR TWIDDEL,—I regret to inform you that the patient, Francis Beveridge,
+whom you placed under my care, has escaped from Clankwood. We have made
+every inquiry consistent with strict privacy, but unfortunately have not
+yet been able to lay our hands upon him. We only know that he left
+Ashditch Junction in the London express, and was seen walking out of St
+Euston’s Cross. How he has been able to maintain himself in concealment
+without money or clothes, I am unable to imagine.
+
+“As no inquiries have been made for him by his cousin Mr Welsh, or any
+other of his friends or relatives, I am writing to you that you may inform
+them, and I hope that this letter may follow you abroad without delay. I
+may add that the circumstances of his escape showed most unusual cunning,
+and could not possibly have been guarded against.
+
+“Trusting that you are having a pleasant holiday, I am, yours very truly,
+
+                                                   ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON.”
+
+The two looked at one another in silence for a minute, and then Welsh
+said, fiercely, “You must catch him again, Twiddel. Do you think I am
+going to have all my risk and trouble for nothing?”
+
+“_I_ must catch him! Do you suppose _I_ let him loose?”
+
+“You must catch him, all the same.”
+
+“I shan’t bother my head about him,” answered Twiddel, with the
+recklessness of despair.
+
+“You won’t? You want to have the story known, I suppose?”
+
+“I don’t care if it is.”
+
+Welsh looked at him for a minute: then he jumped up and exclaimed, “You
+need a drink, old man. Let’s hurry up that slavey.”
+
+With the first course their countenances cleared a little, with the second
+they were almost composed, by the end of dinner they had started
+plot-hatching hopefully again.
+
+“It’s any odds on the man’s still being in town,” said Welsh. “He had no
+money or clothes, and evidently he hasn’t gone to any of his friends, or
+the whole story would have been out. Now, there is nowhere where a man can
+lie low so well, especially if he is hard up, as London. I can answer from
+experience. He is hardly likely to be in the West End, or the best class
+of suburbs, so we’ve something to go upon at once. We must go to a private
+inquiry office and put men on his track, and then we must take the town in
+beats ourselves. So much is clear; do you see?”
+
+“And hadn’t we better find out whether anything more is known at
+Clankwood?” suggested Twiddel. “Dr Congleton wrote a month ago; perhaps
+they have caught him by this time.”
+
+“Hardly likely, I’m afraid; he’d have written to you if they had. Still,
+we can but ask.”
+
+“But, I say!” the doctor suddenly exclaimed, “people may find out that I’m
+back without him.”
+
+Welsh was equal to the emergency.
+
+“You must leave again at once,” he said decisively, rising from the table;
+“and there’s no good wasting time, either.”
+
+“What do you mean?” asked the bewildered doctor, who had not yet
+assimilated the criminal point of view.
+
+“We’ll put our luggage straight on to a cab, drive off to other rooms—I
+know a cheap place that will do—and if by any chance inquiries are made,
+people must be told that you are still abroad. Nobody must hear of your
+coming home to-night.”
+
+“Is it——” began Twiddel, dubiously.
+
+“Is it what?” snapped his friend.
+
+“Is it worth it?”
+
+“Is £500, not to speak of two reputations, worth it! Come on!”
+
+The unfortunate doctor sighed, and rose too. He was beginning to think
+that the nefarious acquisition of fees might have drawbacks after all.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The chronicle must now go back a few days and follow another up-express.
+
+“I must either be a clergyman or a policeman,” Mr Bunker reflected, in the
+corner of his carriage; “they seem to me to be on the whole the two least
+molested professions. Each certainly has a livery which, if its occupier
+is ordinarily judicious, ought to serve as a certificate of sanity. To me
+all policemen are precisely alike, but I daresay they know them apart in
+the force, and as all the beats and crossings are presumably taken
+already, I might excite suspicion by my mere superfluity. Besides, a
+theatrical costumier’s uniform would possibly lack some ridiculous but
+essential detail.”
+
+He lit another cigar and looked humorously out of the window.
+
+“I shall take orders. An amateur theatrical clergyman’s costume will be
+more comfortable, and probably less erroneous. They allow them some
+latitude, I believe; and I don’t suppose there are any visible ordination
+scars whose absence would give me away. I shall certainly study the first
+reverend brother I meet to see.”
+
+Thus wisely ruminating, he arrived in London at a very early hour on a
+chilly morning, and drove straight to a small hotel near King’s Cross,
+where the landlord was much gratified at receiving so respectable a guest
+as the Rev. Alexander Butler. (“I must begin with a B.” said Mr Bunker to
+himself; “I think it’s lucky.”)
+
+It is true the reverend gentleman was in evening clothes, while his hat
+and coat had a singularly secular, not to say fashionable, appearance;
+but, as he mentioned casually in the course of some extremely affable
+remarks, he had been dining in a country house, and had not thought it
+worth while changing before he left. After breakfasting he dressed himself
+in an equally secular suit of tweeds and went out, he mentioned
+incidentally, to call at his tailor’s for his professional habit, which he
+seemed surprised to learn had not yet been forwarded to the hotel.
+
+A visit to a certain well-known firm of theatrical costumiers was followed
+by his reappearance in a cab accompanied by a bulky brown paper parcel;
+and presently he emerged from his room attired more consistently with his
+office, much to his own satisfaction, for, as he observed, “I cannot say I
+approve of clergymen masquerading as laymen.”
+
+His opinion on the converse circumstance was not expressed.
+
+Much to his landlord’s disappointment, he informed him that he should
+probably leave again that afternoon, and then he went out for a walk.
+
+About half an hour later he was once more in the street where, not so very
+long ago, a very exciting cab-race had finished. He strolled slowly past
+Dr Twiddel’s house. The blinds of the front room were down; at that hour
+there was no sign of life about it, and he saw nothing at all to arrest
+his attention. Then he looked down the other side of the street, and to
+his great satisfaction spied a card, with the legend “Apartments to let,”
+in one of the first-floor windows of a house immediately opposite.
+
+He rang the bell, and in a moment a rotund and loquacious landlady
+appeared. Yes, the drawing-room was to let; would the reverend gentleman
+come up and see it? Mr Bunker went up, and approved. They readily agreed
+upon terms, and the landlady, charmed with her new lodger’s appearance and
+manners, no less than with the respectability of his profession, proceeded
+to descant at some length on the quiet, comfort, and numerous other
+advantages of the apartments.
+
+“Just the very plice you wants, sir. We ’ave ’ad clerical gentlemen ’ere
+before, sir; in fact, there’s one a-staying ’ere now, second floor,—you
+may know of ’im, sir,—the Reverend Mr John Duggs; a very pleasant
+gentleman you’ll find him, sir. I’ll tell ’im you’re ’ere, sir; ’e’d be
+sure to like to meet another gentleman of the syme cloth, has they say.”
+
+Somehow or other the Rev. Mr Butler failed to display the hearty pleasure
+at this announcement that the worthy Mrs Gabbon had naturally expected.
+
+Aloud he merely said, “Indeed,” politely, but with no unusual interest.
+
+Within himself he reflected, “The deuce take Mr John Duggs! However, I
+want the rooms, and a man must risk something.”
+
+As a precautionary measure he visited a second-hand bookseller on his way
+back, and purchased a small assortment of the severest-looking works on
+theology they kept in stock; and these, with his slender luggage, he
+brought round to Mrs Gabbon’s in the course of the afternoon.
+
+He looked carefully out of his sitting-room window, but the doctor’s
+blinds were still down, and he saw no one coming or going about the house;
+so he began his inquiries by calling up his landlady.
+
+“I have been troubled with lumbago, Mrs Gabbon,” he began.
+
+“Dearie me, sir,” said Mrs Gabbon, “I’m sorry to ’ear that; you that looks
+so ’ealthy too! Well, one never knows what’s be’ind a ’appy hexterior,
+does one, sir?”
+
+“No, Mrs Gabbon,” replied Mr Bunker, solemnly; “one never knows what even
+a clergyman’s coat conceals.”
+
+“That’s very true, sir. In the midst of life we are in——”
+
+“Lumbago,” interposed Mr Bunker.
+
+Mrs Gabbon looked a trifle startled.
+
+“Well,” he continued with the same gravity, “I may unfortunately have
+occasion to consult a doctor——”
+
+“There’s Dr Smith,” interrupted Mrs Gabbon, her equanimity quite restored
+by his ecclesiastical tone and the mention of ailments; “’e attended my
+poor dear ’usband hall through his last illness; an huncommon clever
+doctor, sir, as I ought to know, sir, bein’——”
+
+“No doubt an excellent man, Mrs Gabbon; but I should like to know of one
+as near at hand as possible. Now I see the name of a Dr Twiddel——”
+
+“I wouldn’t recommend ’im, sir,” said Mrs Gabbon, pursing her mouth.
+
+“Indeed? Why not?”
+
+“’E attended Mrs Brown’s servant-girl, sir,—she bein’ the lady as has the
+’ouse next door,—and what he give _’er_ didn’t do no good. Mrs Brown tell
+me ’erself.”
+
+“Still, in an emergency——”
+
+“Besides which, he ain’t at ’ome, sir.”
+
+“Where has he gone?”
+
+“Abroad, they do say, sir; though I don’t rightly know much about ’im.”
+
+“Has he been away long?”
+
+Mrs Gabbon considered.
+
+“It must ’ave bin before the middle of November he went, sir.”
+
+“Ha!” exclaimed Mr Bunker, keenly, though apparently more to himself than
+his landlady.
+
+“I beg your pardon, sir?”
+
+“The middle of November, you say? That’s a long holiday for a doctor to
+take.”
+
+“’E ’avn’t no practice to speak of,—not as I knows of, leastways.”
+
+“What sort of a man is he—young or old?”
+
+“By my opinion, sir, ’e’s too young. I don’t ’old by them young doctors.
+Now Dr Smith, sir——”
+
+“Dr Twiddel is quite a young man, then?”
+
+“What I’d call little better than a boy, sir. They tell me they lets ’em
+loose very young nowadays.”
+
+“About twenty-five, say?”
+
+“’E might be that, sir; but I don’t know much about ’im, sir. Now Dr
+Smith, sir, ’e’s different.”
+
+In fact at this point Mrs Gabbon showed such a tendency to turn the
+conversation back to the merits of Dr Smith and the precise nature of Mr
+Bunker’s ailment, that her lodger, in despair, requested her to bring up a
+cup of tea as speedily as possible.
+
+“Before the middle of November,” he said to himself. “It is certainly a
+curious coincidence.”
+
+To a gentleman of Mr Bunker’s sociable habits and active mind, the
+prospect of sitting day by day in the company of his theological treatises
+and talkative landlady, and watching an apparently uninhabited house,
+seemed at first sight even less entertaining than a return to Clankwood.
+But, as he said of himself, he possessed a kind of easy workaday
+philosophy, and, besides that, an apparently irresistible attraction for
+the incidents of life.
+
+He had barely finished his cup of tea, and was sitting over the fire
+smoking one of the Baron’s cigars and looking through one of the few books
+he had brought that bore no relation to divinity, his feet high upon the
+side of the mantelpiece, his ready-made costume perhaps a little more
+unbuttoned than the strictest propriety might approve, and a stiff glass
+of whisky-and-water at his elbow, when there came a rap at his door.
+
+In response to his “Come in,” a middle-aged gentleman, dressed in clerical
+attire, entered. He had a broad, bearded face, a dull eye, and an
+indescribably average aspect.
+
+“The devil! Mr John Duggs himself,” thought Mr Bunker, hastily adopting a
+more conventional attitude and feeling for his button-holes.
+
+“Ah—er—Mr Butler, I believe?” said the stranger, with an apologetic air.
+
+“The same,” replied Mr Bunker, smiling affably.
+
+“I,” continued his visitor, advancing with more confidence, “am Mr Duggs.
+I am dwelling at present in the apartment immediately above you, and
+hearing of the arrival of a fellow-clergyman, through my worthy friend Mrs
+Gabbon, I have taken the liberty of calling. She gave me to understand
+that you were not undesirous of making my acquaintance, Mr Butler.”
+
+“The deuce, she did!” thought Mr Butler. Aloud he answered most politely,
+“I am honoured, Mr Duggs. Won’t you sit down?”
+
+First casting a wary eye upon a chair, Mr Duggs seated himself carefully
+on the edge of it.
+
+“It is quite evident,” thought Mr Bunker, “that he has spotted something
+wrong. I believe a bobby would have been safer after all.”
+
+He assumed the longest face he could draw, and remarked sententiously,
+“The weather has been unpleasantly cold of late, Mr Duggs.”
+
+He flattered himself that his guest seemed instantly more at his ease.
+Certainly he replied with as much cordiality as a man with such a dull eye
+could be supposed to display.
+
+“It has, Mr Butler; in fact I have suffered from a chill for some weeks.
+Ahem!”
+
+“Have something to drink,” suggested Mr Bunker, sympathetically. “I’m
+trying a little whisky myself, as a cure for cold.”
+
+“I—ah—I am sorry. I do not touch spirits.”
+
+“I, on the contrary, am glad to hear it. Too few of our clergymen nowadays
+support the cause of temperance by example.”
+
+Mr Bunker felt a little natural pride in this happily expressed sentiment,
+but his visitor merely turned his cold eye on the whisky bottle, and
+breathed heavily.
+
+“Confound him!” he thought; “I’ll give him something to snort at if he is
+going to conduct himself like this.”
+
+“Have a cigar?” he asked aloud.
+
+Mr Duggs seemed to regard the cigar-box a little less unkindly than the
+whisky bottle; but after a careful look at it he replied, “I am afraid
+they seem a little too strong for me. I am a light smoker, Mr Butler.”
+
+“Really,” smiled Mr Bunker; “so many virtues in one room reminds me of the
+virgins of Gomorrah.”
+
+“I beg your pardon? The what?” asked Mr Duggs, with a startled stare.
+
+Mr Bunker suspected that he had made a slip in his biblical reminiscences,
+but he continued to smile imperturbably, and inquired with a perfect air
+of surprise, “Haven’t you read the novel I referred to?”
+
+Mr Duggs appeared a little relieved, but he answered blankly enough,
+“I—ah—have not. What is the book you refer to?”
+
+“Oh, don’t you know? To tell the truth, I forget the title. It’s by a
+somewhat well-known lady writer of religious fiction. A Miss—her name
+escapes me at this moment.”
+
+In fact, as Mr Bunker had no idea how long his friend might be dwelling in
+the apartment immediately above him, he thought it more prudent to make no
+statement that could possibly be checked.
+
+“I am no great admirer of religious fiction of any kind,” replied Mr
+Duggs, “particularly that written by emotional females.”
+
+“No,” said Mr Bunker, pleasantly; “I should imagine your own doctrines
+were not apt to err on the sentimental side.”
+
+“I am not aware that I have said anything to you about my—doctrines, as
+you call them, Mr Butler.”
+
+“Still, don’t you think one can generally tell a man’s creed from his
+coat, and his sympathies from the way he cocks his hat?”
+
+“I think,” replied Mr Duggs, “that our ideas of our vocation are somewhat
+different.”
+
+“Mine is, I admit,” said Mr Bunker, who had come to the conclusion that
+the strain of playing his part was really too great, and was now being
+happily carried along by his tongue.
+
+Mr Duggs for a moment was evidently disposed to give battle, but thinking
+better of it, he contented himself with frowning at his younger opponent,
+and abruptly changed the subject.
+
+“May I ask what position you hold in the church, Mr Butler?”
+
+“Why,” began Mr Bunker, lightly: it was on the tip of his tongue to say “a
+clergyman, of course,” when he suddenly recollected that he might be
+anything from the rank of curate up to the people who wear gaiters (and
+who these were precisely he didn’t know). An ingenious solution suggested
+itself. He replied with a preliminary inquiry, “Have you ever been in the
+East, Mr Duggs?”
+
+“I regret to say I have not hitherto had the opportunity.”
+
+“Thank the Lord for that,” thought Mr Bunker. “I have been a missionary,”
+he said quietly, and looked dreamily into the fire.
+
+It was a happy move. Mr Duggs was visibly impressed.
+
+“Ah?” he said. “Indeed? I am much interested to learn this, Mr Butler.
+It—ah—gives me perhaps a somewhat different view of your—ah—opinions.
+Where did your work lie?”
+
+“China,” replied Mr Bunker, thinking it best to keep as far abroad as
+possible.
+
+“Ha!” exclaimed Mr Duggs. “This is really extremely fortunate. I am at
+present, Mr Butler, studying the religions and customs of China at the
+British Museum, with a view to going out there myself very shortly. I
+already feel I know almost as much about that most interesting country as
+if I had lived there. I should like to talk with you at some length on the
+subject.”
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was time to put an end to this conversation, at
+whatever minor risk of perturbing his visitor. He had been a little
+alarmed, too, by noticing that Mr Duggs’ dull eye had wandered frequently
+to his theological library, which with his usual foresight he had strewn
+conspicuously on the table, and that any expression it had was rather of
+suspicious curiosity than gratification.
+
+“I should like to hear some of your experiences,” Mr Duggs continued. “In
+what province did you work?”
+
+“In Hung Hang Ho,” replied Mr Bunker. His visitor looked puzzled, but he
+continued boldly, “My experiences were somewhat unpleasant. I became
+engaged to a mandarin’s daughter—a charming girl. I was suspected,
+however, of abetting an illicit traffic in Chinese lanterns. My companions
+were manicured alive, and I only made my escape in a pagoda, or a junk—I
+was in too much of a hurry to notice which—at the imminent peril of my
+life. Don’t go to China, Mr Duggs.”
+
+Mr Duggs rose.
+
+“Young man,” he said, sternly, “put away that fatal bottle. I can only
+suppose that it is under the influence of drink that you have ventured to
+tell me such an irreverent and impossible story.”
+
+“Sir,” began Mr Bunker, warmly,—for he thought that an outburst of
+indignation would probably be the safest way of concluding the
+interview,—when he stopped abruptly and listened. All the time his ears
+had been alive to anything going on outside, and now he heard a cab rattle
+up and stop close by. It might be at Dr Twiddel’s, he thought, and,
+turning from his visitor, he sprang to the window.
+
+Remarking distantly, “I hear a cab; it is possibly a friend I am
+expecting,” Mr Duggs stepped to the other window.
+
+It was only, however, a hansom at the door of the next house, out of which
+a very golden-haired young lady was stepping. “Aha,” said Mr Bunker, quite
+forgetting the indignant _rôle_ he had begun to play; “rather nice! Is
+this your friend, Mr Duggs?”
+
+Mr Duggs gave him one look of his dull eyes, and walked straight for the
+door. As he went out he merely remarked, “Our acquaintance has been brief,
+Mr Butler, but it has been quite sufficient.”
+
+“Quite,” thought Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+That was Mr Bunker’s first and last meeting with the Rev. John Duggs, and
+he took no small credit to himself for having so effectually incensed his
+neighbour, without, at the same time, bringing suspicion on anything more
+pertinent than his sobriety.
+
+And yet sometimes in the course of the next three days he would have been
+thankful to see him again, if only to have another passage-of-arms. The
+time passed most wearily; the consulting-room blinds were never raised; no
+cabs stopped before the doctor’s door; nobody except the little servant
+ever moved about the house.
+
+He could think of no plan better than waiting; and so he waited, showing
+himself seldom in the streets, and even sitting behind the curtain while
+he watched at the window. After writing at some length to the Baron he had
+no further correspondence that he could distract himself with; he was even
+forced once or twice to dip into the theological works. Mrs Gabbon had
+evidently “’eard sommat” from Mr Duggs, and treated him to little of her
+society. The boredom became so excessive that he decided he must make a
+move soon, however rash it was.
+
+The only active step he took, and indeed the only step he saw his way to
+take, was a call on Dr Twiddel’s _locum_. But luck seemed to run dead
+against him. Dr Billson had departed “on his holiday,” he was informed,
+and would not return for three weeks. So Mr Bunker was driven back to his
+window and the Baron’s cigars.
+
+It was the evening of his fourth day in Mrs Gabbon’s rooms. He had
+finished a modest dinner and was dealing himself hands at piquet with an
+old pack of cards, when he heard the rattle of a cab coming up the street.
+The usual faint flicker of hope rose: the cab stopped below him, the
+flicker burned brighter, and in an instant he was at the window. He opened
+the slats of the blind, and the flicker was aflame. Before the doctor’s
+house a four-wheeled cab was standing laden with luggage, and two men were
+going up the steps. He watched the luggage being taken in and the cab
+drive away, and then he turned radiantly back to the fire.
+
+“The curtain is up,” he said to himself. “What’s the first act to be?”
+
+Presently he put on his wide-awake hat and went out for a stroll. He
+walked slowly past the doctor’s house, but there was nothing to be seen or
+heard. Remembering the room at the back, he was not surprised to find no
+chink of light about the front windows, and thinking it better not to run
+the risk of being seen lingering there, he walked on. He was in such good
+spirits, and had been cooped up so continually for the last few days, that
+he went on and on, and it was not till about a couple of hours had passed
+that he approached his rooms again. As he came down the street he was
+surprised to see by the light of a lamp that another four-wheeler was
+standing before the doctor’s house, also laden with luggage.
+
+Two men jumped in, one after another, and when he had come at his fastest
+walk within twenty yards or so, the cabman whipped up and drove rapidly
+away, luggage and men and all.
+
+He looked up and down for a hansom, but there were none to be seen. For a
+few yards he set off at a run in pursuit, and then, finding that the horse
+was being driven at a great rate, and remembering the paucity of stray
+cabs in the quiet streets and roads round about, he stopped and considered
+the question.
+
+“After all,” he reflected, “it may not have been Dr Twiddel who drove
+away; in fact, if it was he who arrived in the first cab, it’s any odds
+against it. Pooh! It can’t be. Still, it’s a curious thing if two cabs
+loaded with luggage came to the house in the same evening, and one drove
+away without unlading.”
+
+With his spirits a little damped in spite of his philosophy, he went back
+to his rooms.
+
+In the morning the consulting-room blinds were still down, and the house
+looked as deserted as ever.
+
+He waited till lunch, and then he went out boldly and pulled the doctor’s
+bell. The same little maid appeared, but she evidently did not recognise
+the fashionable patient who disappeared so mysteriously in the
+demure-looking clergyman at the door.
+
+“Is Dr Twiddel at home?”
+
+“No, sir, he ain’t back yet.”
+
+“He hasn’t been back?”
+
+“No, sir.”
+
+Mr Bunker looked at her keenly, and then said to himself, “She is lying.”
+
+He thought he would try a chance shot.
+
+“But he was expected home last night, I believe.”
+
+The maid looked a little staggered.
+
+“He ain’t been,” she replied.
+
+“I happen to have heard that he called here,” he hazarded again.
+
+This time she was evidently put about.
+
+“He ain’t been here—as I knows of.”
+
+He slipped half-a-crown into her hand.
+
+“Think again,” he said, in his most winning accents.
+
+The poor little maid was obviously in a dilemma.
+
+“Do you want him particular, sir?”
+
+“Particularly.”
+
+She fidgeted a little.
+
+“He told me,” he pursued, “that he might look in at his rooms last night.
+He left no message for me?”
+
+“What name, sir?”
+
+“Mr Butler.”
+
+“No, sir.”
+
+“Then, my dear,” said Mr Bunker, with his most insinuating smile, “he was
+here for a little, you can’t deny?”
+
+At the maid’s embarrassed glance down his long coat, he suddenly realised
+that there was perhaps a distinction between lay and clerical smiles.
+
+“He might have just looked in, sir,” she admitted.
+
+“But he didn’t want it known?”
+
+“No, sir.”
+
+“Quite right, I advised him not to, and you did very well not to tell me
+at first.”
+
+He smiled approvingly and made a pretence of turning away.
+
+“Oh, by the way,” he added, stopping as if struck by an after-thought, “Is
+he still in town? He promised to leave word for me, but he has evidently
+forgotten.”
+
+“I don’t know, sir; ’e didn’t say.”
+
+“What? He left _no_ word at all?”
+
+“No, sir.”
+
+Mr Bunker held out another half-crown.
+
+“It’s truth, sir,” said the maid, drawing back; “we don’t know where ’e
+is.”
+
+“Take it, all the same; you have been very discreet. You have no idea?”
+
+The maid hesitated.
+
+“I _did_ ’ear Mr Welsh say something about lookin’ for rooms,” she
+allowed.
+
+“In London?”
+
+“I expect so, sir; but ’e didn’t say no more.”
+
+“Mr Welsh is the friend who came with him, of course?”
+
+“Yes, sir.”
+
+“Thanks,” said Mr Bunker. “By the way, Dr Twiddel might not like your
+telling this even to a friend, so you needn’t say I called, I’ll tell him
+myself when I see him, and I won’t give you away.”
+
+He smiled benignly, and the little maid thanked him quite gratefully.
+
+“Evidently,” he thought as he went away, “I was meant for something in the
+detective line.”
+
+He returned to his rooms to meditate, and the longer he thought the more
+puzzled he became, and yet the more convinced that he had taken up a
+thread that must lead him somewhere.
+
+“As for my plan of action,” he considered, “I see nothing better for it
+than staying where I am—and watching. This mysterious doctor must surely
+steal back some night. Now and then I might go round the town and try a
+cast in the likeliest bars—oh, hang me, though! I forgot I was a
+clergyman.”
+
+That night he had a welcome distraction in the shape of a letter from the
+Baron. It was written from Brierley Park, in the Baron’s best pointed
+German hand, and it ran thus—
+
+“MY DEAR BUNKER,—I was greatly more delighted than I am able to express to
+you from the amusing correspondence you addressed me. How glad I am, I can
+assure you, that you are still in safety and comfort. Remember, my dear
+friend, to call for me when need arises, although I do think you can guard
+yourself as well as most alone.
+
+“This leaves me happy and healthful, and in utmost prosperity with the
+kind Sir Richard and his charming Lady. You English certainly know well
+how to cause time to pass with mirth. About instruction I say less!
+
+“They have talked of you here. I laugh and keep my tongue when they wonder
+who he is and whither gone away. Now that anger is passed and they see I
+myself enjoy the joke, they say, and especially do the ladies, (You
+humbug, Bunker!) ‘How charming was the imitation, Baron!’ You can indeed
+win the hearts, if wishful so. The Lady Grillyer and her unexpressable
+daughter I have often seen. To-day they come here for two nights. I did
+suggest it to Lady Brierley, and I fear she did suspect the condition of
+my heart; but she charmingly smiled, she asked them, and they come!
+
+“The Countess, I fear, does not now love you much, my friend; but then she
+knows not the truth. The Lady Alicia is strangely silent on the matter of
+Mr Bunker, but in time she also doubtless will forgive. (At this Mr Bunker
+smiled in some amusement.)
+
+“When they leave Brierley I also shall take my departure on the following
+day, that is in three days. Therefore write hastily, Bunker, and name the
+place and hour where we shall meet again and dine festively. I expect a
+most reverent clergyman and much instructive discourse. Ah, humbug!—Thine
+always,
+
+                                                 RUDOLPH VON BLITZENBERG.”
+
+“_P.S._—She is sometimes more kind and sometimes so distant. Ah, I know
+not what to surmise! But to-morrow or the next my fate will be decided.
+Give me of your prayers, my reverent friend!
+
+                                                                R. VON B.”
+
+“Dear old Baron!” said Mr Bunker. “Well, I’ve at least a dinner to look
+forward to.”
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+Dr Twiddel, meanwhile, was no less anxious to make the Rev. Alexander
+Butler’s acquaintance than the Rev. Alexander Butler was to make his. Not
+that he was aware of that gentleman’s recent change of identity and
+occupation; but most industrious endeavors to find a certain Mr Beveridge
+were made in the course of the next few days. He and Welsh were living
+modestly and obscurely in the neighbourhood of the Pentonville Road,
+scouring the town by day, studying a map and laying the most ingenious
+plans at night. Welsh’s first effort, as soon as they were established in
+their new quarters, was to induce his friend to go down to Clankwood and
+make further inquiries, but this Twiddel absolutely declined to do.
+
+“My dear chap,” he answered, “supposing anything were found out, or even
+suspected, what am I to say? Old Congleton knows me well, and for his own
+sake doesn’t want to make a fuss; but if he really spots that something is
+wrong, he will be so afraid of his reputation that he’d give me away like
+a shot.”
+
+“How are you going to give things away by going down and seeing him?”
+
+“_If_ they have guessed anything, I’ll give it away. I haven’t your cheek,
+you know, and tact, and that sort of thing; you’d much better go
+yourself.”
+
+“_I?_ It isn’t my business.”
+
+“You seem to be making it yours. Besides, Dr Congleton thinks it is. You
+passed yourself off as the chap’s cousin, and it is quite natural for you
+to go and inquire.”
+
+Welsh pondered the point. “Hang it,” he said at last, “it would do just as
+well to write. Perhaps it’s safer after all.”
+
+“Well, you write.”
+
+“Why should I, rather than you?”
+
+“Because you’re his cousin.”
+
+Welsh considered again. “Well, I don’t suppose it matters much. I’ll
+write, if you’re afraid.”
+
+It was these amiable little touches in his friend’s conversation that
+helped to make Twiddel’s lot at this time so pleasant. In fact, the doctor
+was learning a good deal about human nature in cloudy weather.
+
+With great care Welsh composed a polite note of anxious inquiry, and by
+return of post received the following reply:—
+
+“MY DEAR SIR,—I regret to inform you that we have not so far recovered
+your cousin Mr Beveridge. In all probability, however, this cannot be long
+delayed now, as he was seen within the last week at a country house in
+Dampshire, and is known to have fled to London immediately on his
+recognition, but before he could be secured. He was then clean shaved, and
+had been passing under the name of Francis Bunker. We are making strict
+inquiries for him in London.
+
+“Nobody can regret the unfortunate circumstance of his escape more than I,
+and, in justice to myself and my institution, I can assure you that it was
+only through the most unforeseen and remarkable ingenuity on your cousin’s
+part that it occurred.
+
+“Trusting that I may soon be able to inform you of his recovery, I am,
+yours very truly,
+
+                                                   “ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON.
+
+Their ardour was, if possible, increased by Dr Congleton’s letter. Mr
+Beveridge was almost certainly in London, and they knew now that they must
+look for a clean-shaved man. Two private inquiry detectives were at work;
+and on their own account they had mapped the likeliest parts of London
+into beats, visiting every bar and restaurant in turn, and occasionally
+hanging about stations and the stopping-places for ’buses.
+
+It was dreadfully hard work, and after four days of it, even Welsh began
+to get a little sickened.
+
+“Hang it,” he said in the evening, “I haven’t had a decent dinner since we
+came back. Mr Bunker can go to the devil for to-night, I’m going to dine
+decently. I’m sick of going round pubs, and not even stopping to have a
+drink.”
+
+“So am I,” replied Twiddel, cordially; “where shall we go?”
+
+“The Café Maccarroni,” suggested Welsh; “we can’t afford a West-end place,
+and they give one a very decent dinner there.”
+
+The Café Maccarroni in Holborn is nominally of foreign
+extraction,—certainly the waiters and the stout proprietor come from
+sunnier lands,—and many of the diners you can hear talking in strange
+tongues, with quick gesticulations. But for the most part they are
+respectable citizens of London, who drink Chianti because it stimulates
+cheaply and not unpleasantly. The white-painted room is bright and clean
+and seldom very crowded, the British palate can be tickled with tolerable
+joints and cutlets, and the foreign with gravy-covered odds and ends.
+Altogether, it may be recommended to such as desire to dine comfortably
+and not too conspicuously.
+
+The hour at which the two friends entered was later than most of the
+_habitués_ dine, and they had the room almost to themselves. They faced
+each other across a small table beside the wall, and very soon the
+discomforts of their researches began to seem more tolerable.
+
+“We’ll catch him soon, old man,” said Welsh, smiling more affably than he
+had smiled since they came back. “A day or two more of this kind of work
+and even London won’t be able to conceal him any longer.”
+
+“Dash it, we must,” replied Twiddel, bravely. “We’ll show old Congleton
+how to look for a lunatic.”
+
+“Ha, ha!” laughed Welsh, “I think he’ll be rather relieved himself.
+Waiter! another bottle of the same.”
+
+The bottle arrived, and the waiter was just filling their glasses when a
+young clergyman entered the room and walked quietly towards the farther
+end. Welsh raised his glass and exclaimed, “Here’s luck to ourselves,
+Twiddel, old man!”
+
+At that moment the clergyman was passing their table, and at the mention
+of this toast he started almost imperceptibly, and then, throwing a quick
+glance at the two, stopped and took a seat at the next table, with his
+back turned towards them. Welsh, who was at the farther side, looked at
+him with some annoyance, and made a sign to Twiddel to talk a little more
+quietly.
+
+To the waiter, who came with the _menu_, the clergyman explained in a
+quiet voice that he was waiting for a friend, and asked for an evening
+paper instead, in which he soon appeared to be deeply engrossed.
+
+At first the conversation went on in a lower tone, but in a few minutes
+they insensibly forgot their neighbour, and the voices rose again by
+starts.
+
+“My dear fellow,” Welsh was saying, “we can discuss that afterwards; we
+haven’t caught him yet.”
+
+“I want to settle it now.”
+
+“But I thought it was settled.”
+
+“No, it wasn’t,” said Twiddel, with a foreign and vinous doggedness.
+
+“What do you suggest then?”
+
+“Divide it equally—£250 each.”
+
+“You think you can claim half the credit for the idea and half the
+trouble?”
+
+“I can claim _all_ the risk—practically.”
+
+“Pooh!” said Welsh. “You think I risked nothing? Come, come, let’s talk of
+something else.”
+
+“Oh, rot!” interrupted Twiddel, who by this time was decidedly flushed.
+“You needn’t ride the high horse like that, you are not Mr
+Mandell-Essington any longer.”
+
+With a violent start, the clergyman brought his fist crash on the table,
+and exclaimed aloud, “By Heaven, that’s it!”
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+As one may suppose, everybody in the room started in great astonishment at
+this extraordinary outburst. With a sharp “Hollo!” Twiddel turned in his
+seat, to see the clergyman standing over him with a look of the keenest
+inquiry in his well-favoured face.
+
+“May I ask, Dr Twiddel, what you know of the gentleman you just named?” he
+said, with perfect politeness.
+
+The conscience-smitten doctor gazed at him blankly, and the colour
+suddenly left his face. But Welsh’s nerves were stronger; and, as he
+looked hard at the stranger, a jubilant light leaped to his eyes.
+
+“It’s our man!” he cried, before his friend could gather his wits. “It’s
+Beveridge, or Bunker, or whatever he calls himself! Waiter!”
+
+Instantly three waiters, all agog, hurried at his summons.
+
+Mr Bunker regarded him with considerable surprise. He had quite expected
+that the pair would be thrown into confusion, but not that it would take
+this form.
+
+“Excuse me, sir,” he began, but Welsh interrupted him by crying to the
+leading waiter—
+
+“Fetch a four-wheeled cab and a policeman, quick!” As the man hesitated,
+he added, “This man here is an escaped lunatic.”
+
+The waiter was starting for the door, when Mr Bunker stepped out quickly
+and interrupted him.
+
+“Stop one minute, waiter,” he said, with a quiet, unruffled air that went
+far to establish his sanity. “Do I look like a lunatic? Kindly call the
+proprietor first.”
+
+The stout proprietor was already on his way to their table, and the one or
+two other diners were beginning to gather round. Mr Bunker’s manner had
+impressed even Welsh, and after his nature he took refuge in bluster.
+
+“I say, my man,” he cried, “this won’t pass. Somebody fetch a cab.”
+
+“Vat is dees about?” asked the proprietor, coming up.
+
+“Your wine, I’m afraid, has been rather too powerful for this gentleman,”
+Mr Bunker explained, with a smile.
+
+“Look here,” blustered Welsh, “do you know you’ve got a lunatic in the
+room?”
+
+“You can perhaps guess it,” smiled Mr Bunker, indicating Welsh with his
+eyes.
+
+The waiters began to twitter, and Welsh, with an effort, pulled himself
+together.
+
+“My friend here,” he said, “is Dr Twiddel, a well-known practitioner in
+London. He can tell you that he certified this man as a lunatic, and that
+he afterwards escaped from his asylum. That is so, Twiddel?”
+
+“Yes,” assented Twiddel, whose colour was beginning to come back a little.
+
+“Who are you, sare?” asked the proprietor.
+
+“Show him your card, Twiddel,” said Welsh, producing his own and handing
+it over.
+
+The proprietor looked at both cards, and then turned to Mr Bunker.
+
+“And who are you, sare?”
+
+“My name is Mandell-Essington.”
+
+“His name——” began Welsh.
+
+“Have you a card?” interposed the proprietor.
+
+“I am sorry I have not,” replied Mr Bunker (to still call him by the name
+of his choice).
+
+“His name is Francis Beveridge,” said Welsh.
+
+“I beg your pardon; it is Mandell-Essington.”
+
+“Any other description?” Welsh asked, with a sneer.
+
+“A gentleman, I believe.”
+
+“No other occupation?”
+
+“Not unless you can call a justice of the peace such,” replied Mr Bunker,
+with a smile.
+
+“And yet he disguises himself as a clergyman!” exclaimed Welsh,
+triumphantly, turning to the proprietor.
+
+Mr Bunker saw that he was caught, but he merely laughed, and observed, “My
+friend here disguises himself in liquor, a much less respectable cloak.”
+
+Unfortunately the humour of this remark was somewhat thrown away on his
+present audience; indeed, coming from a professed clergyman, it produced
+an unfavourable impression.
+
+“You are not a clergyman?” said the proprietor, suspiciously.
+
+“I am glad to say I am not,” replied Mr Bunker, frankly.
+
+“Den vat do you do in dis dress?”
+
+“I put it on as a compliment to the cloth; I retain it at present for
+decency,” said Mr Bunker, whose tongue had now got a fair start of him.
+
+“Mad,” remarked Welsh, confidentially, shrugging his shoulders with really
+excellent dramatic effect.
+
+By this time the audience were disposed to agree with him.
+
+“You can give no better account of yourself dan dis?” asked the
+proprietor.
+
+“I am anxious to,” replied Mr Bunker, “but a public restaurant is not the
+place in which I choose to give it.”
+
+“Fetch the cab and the policeman,” said Welsh to a waiter.
+
+At this moment another gentleman entered the room, and at the sight of him
+Mr Bunker’s face brightened, and he stopped the waiter by a cry of, “Wait
+one moment; here comes a gentleman who knows me.”
+
+Everybody turned, and beheld a burly, very fashionably dressed young man,
+with a fair moustache and a cheerful countenance.
+
+“Ach, Bonker!” he cried.
+
+This confirmation of Mr Bunker’s _aliases_ ought, one would expect, to
+have delighted the two conspirators, but, instead, it produced the most
+remarkable effect. Twiddel utterly collapsed, while even Welsh’s impudence
+at last deserted him. Neither said a word as the Baron von Blitzenberg
+greeted his friend with affectionate heartiness.
+
+“My friend, zis is good for ze heart! Bot, how? vat makes it here?”
+
+“My dear Baron, the most unfortunate mistake has occurred. Two men here——”
+But at this moment he stopped in great surprise, for the Baron was staring
+hard first at Welsh and then at Twiddel.
+
+“Ah!” he exclaimed, “Mr Mandell-Essington, I zink?”
+
+Welsh hesitated for an instant, and his hesitation was evident to all.
+Then he replied, “No, you are mistaken.”
+
+“Surely I cannot be; you did stay in Fogelschloss?” said the Baron. “Is
+not zis Dr Twiddel?”
+
+“No—er—ah—yes,” stammered Twiddel, looking feebly at Welsh.
+
+The Baron looked from the one to the other in great perplexity, when Mr
+Bunker, who had been much puzzled by this conversation, broke in, “Did you
+call that person Mandell-Essington?”
+
+“I cairtainly zought it vas.”
+
+“Where did you meet him?”
+
+“In Bavaria, at my own castle.”
+
+“You are mistaken, sir,” said Welsh.
+
+“One moment, Mr Welsh,” said Mr Bunker. “How long ago was this, Baron?”
+
+“Jost before I gom to London. He travelled viz zis ozzer gentleman, Dr
+Twiddel.”
+
+“You are wrong, sir,” persisted Welsh.
+
+“For his health,” added the Baron.
+
+A light began to dawn on Mr Bunker.
+
+“His health?” he cried, and then smiled politely at Welsh.
+
+“We will talk this over, Mr Welsh.”
+
+“I am sorry I happen to be going,” said Welsh, taking his hat and coat.
+
+“What, without your lunatic?” asked Mr Bunker.
+
+“That is Dr Twiddel’s affair, not mine. Kindly let me pass, sir.”
+
+“No, Mr Welsh; if you go now, it will be in the company of that policeman
+you were so anxious to send for.” There was such an unmistakable threat in
+Mr Bunker’s voice and eye that Welsh hesitated. “We will talk it over, Mr
+Welsh,” Mr Bunker repeated distinctly. “Kindly sit down. I have several
+things to ask you and your friend Dr Twiddel.”
+
+Muttering something under his breath, Welsh hung up his coat and hat, sat
+down, and then assuming an air of great impudence, remarked, “Fire away,
+Mr Mandell-Essington—Beveridge—Bunker, or whatever you call yourself.”
+
+Without paying the slightest attention to this piece of humour, Mr Bunker
+turned to the bewildered proprietor, and, to the intense disappointment of
+the audience, said, “You can leave us now, thank you; our talk is likely
+to be of a somewhat private nature.” As their gallery withdrew, he drew up
+a chair for the Baron, and all four sat round the small table.
+
+“Now,” said Mr Bunker to Welsh, “you will perhaps be kind enough to give
+me a precise account of your doings since the middle of November.”
+
+“I’m d——d if I do,” replied Welsh.
+
+“Sare,” interposed the Baron in his stateliest manner, “I know not now who
+you may be, but I see you are no gentleman. Ven you are viz gentlemen—and
+noblemen—you vill please to speak respectfully.”
+
+The stare that Welsh attempted in reply was somewhat ineffective.
+
+“Perhaps, Dr Twiddel, you can give the account I want?” said Mr Bunker.
+
+The poor doctor looked at his friend, hesitated, and finally stammered
+out, “I—I don’t see why.”
+
+Mr Bunker pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed it to him.
+
+“Perhaps this may suggest a why.”
+
+When the doctor saw the bill for Mr Beveridge’s linen, the last of his
+courage ebbed away. He glanced helplessly at Welsh, but his ally was now
+leaning back in his chair with such an irritating assumption of
+indifference, and the prospective fee had so obviously vanished, that he
+was suddenly seized with the most virtuous resolutions.
+
+“What do you want to know, sir?” he asked.
+
+“In the first place, how did you come to have anything to do with me?”
+
+Welsh, whose sharp wits instantly divined the weak point in the attack,
+cut in quickly, “Don’t tell him if he doesn’t know already!”
+
+But Twiddel’s relapse to virtue was complete. “I was asked to take charge
+of you while——” He hesitated.
+
+“While I was unwell,” smiled Mr Bunker. “Yes?”
+
+“I was to travel with you.”
+
+“Ah!”
+
+“But I—I didn’t like the idea, you see; and so—in fact—Welsh suggested
+that I should take him instead.”
+
+“While you locked me up in Clankwood?”
+
+“Yes.”
+
+“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed Mr Bunker, “I must say it was a devilish humorous
+idea.”
+
+At this Twiddel began to take heart again.
+
+“I am very sorry, sir, for——” he began, when the Baron interrupted
+excitedly.
+
+“Zen vat is your name, Bonker?”
+
+“_I_ am Mr Mandell-Essington, Baron.”
+
+The Baron looked at the other two in turn with wide-open eyes.
+
+Then he turned indignantly upon Welsh.
+
+“You were impostor zen, sare? You gom to my house and call yourself a
+gentleman, and impose upon me, and tell of your family and your estates.
+You, a low—er—er—vat you say?—a low _cad!_ Bonker, I cannot sit at ze same
+table viz zese persons!”
+
+He rose as he spoke.
+
+“One moment, Baron! Before we send these gentlemen back to their really
+promising career of fraud, I want to ask one or two more questions.” He
+turned to Twiddel. “What were you to be paid for this?”
+
+“£500.”
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes. “That’s the way my money goes? From your
+anxiety to recapture me, I presume you have not yet been paid?”
+
+“No, I assure you, Mr Essington,” said Twiddel, eagerly; “I give you my
+word.”
+
+“I shall judge by the circumstances rather than your word, sir. It is
+perhaps unnecessary to inform you that you have had your trouble for
+nothing.” He looked at them both as though they were curious animals, and
+then continued: “You, Mr Welsh, are a really wonderfully typical rascal. I
+am glad to have met you. You can now put on your coat and go.” As Welsh
+still sat defiantly, he added, “_At once_, sir! or you may possibly find
+policemen and four-wheeled cabs outside. I have something else to say to
+Dr Twiddel.”
+
+With the best air he could muster, Welsh silently cocked his hat on the
+side of his head, threw his coat over his arm, and was walking out, when a
+watchful waiter intercepted him.
+
+“Your bill, sare.”
+
+“My friend is paying.”
+
+“No, Mr Welsh,” cried the real Essington; “I think you had better pay for
+this dinner yourself.”
+
+Welsh saw the vigilant proprietor already coming towards him, and with a
+look that augured ill for Twiddel when they were alone, he put his hand in
+his pocket.
+
+“Ha, ha!” laughed Essington, “the inevitable bill!”
+
+“And now,” he continued, turning to Twiddel, “you, doctor, seem to me a
+most unfortunately constructed biped; your nose is just long enough to
+enable you to be led into a singularly original adventure, and your brains
+just too few to carry it through creditably. Hang me if I wouldn’t have
+made a better job of the business! But before you disappear from the
+company of gentlemen I must ask you to do one favour for me. First thing
+to-morrow morning you will go down to Clankwood, tell what lie you please,
+and obtain my legal discharge, or whatever it’s called. After that you may
+go to the devil—or, what comes much to the same thing, to Mr Welsh—for all
+I care. You will do this without fail?”
+
+“Ye—es,” stammered Twiddel, “certainly, sir.”
+
+“You may now retire—and the faster the better.”
+
+As the crestfallen doctor followed his ally out of the restaurant, the
+Baron exclaimed in disgust, “Ze cads! You are too merciful. You should
+punish.”
+
+“My dear Baron, after all I am obliged to these rascals for the most
+amusing time I have ever had in my life, and one of the best friends I’ve
+ever made.”
+
+“Ach, Bonker! Bot vat do I say? You are not Bonker no more, and yet may I
+call you so, jost for ze sake of pleasant times? It vill be too hard to
+change.”
+
+“I’d rather you would, Baron. It will be a perpetual in memoriam record of
+my departed virtues.”
+
+“Departed, Bonker?”
+
+“Departed, Baron,” his friend repeated with a sigh; “for how can I ever
+hope to have so spacious a field for them again? Believe me, they will
+wither in an atmosphere of orthodoxy. And now let us order dinner.”
+
+“But first,” said the Baron, blushing, “I haf a piece of news.”
+
+“Baron, I guess it!”
+
+“Ze Lady Alicia is now mine! Congratulate!”
+
+“With all my heart, Baron! What could be a fitter finish than the
+detection of villainy, the marriage of all the sane people, and the
+apotheosis of the lunatic?”
+
+
+
+                                 THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 ERRATA.
+
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER IV.
+      Changed: he whistled, *The* sounds outside
+      To: he whistled, *the* sounds outside
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VI.
+      Changed: Ye*-*es.
+      To: Ye*—*es.
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VII.
+      Changed: which that *disapponted* official only
+      To: which that *disappointed* official only
+
+      PART III.
+      CHAPTER V.
+      Changed: something out*.*” he said
+      To: something out*,*” he said
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: to me, *$*200 to you
+      To: to me, *£*200 to you
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: _I_ let him loose?*’*
+      To: _I_ let him loose?*”*
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER II.
+      Changed: * *Indeed? Why not?”
+      To: *“*Indeed? Why not?”
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: on his *wideawake* hat and
+      To: on his *wide-awake* hat and
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: “What *nime*, sir?”
+      To: “What *name*, sir?”
+
+
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+
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+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
+
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no
+restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under
+the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or
+online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+
+Title: The Lunatic at Large
+
+Author: J. Storer Clouston
+
+Release Date: January 30, 2007 [Ebook #20485]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO 8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+
+
+
+
+
+                                   THE
+                            LUNATIC AT LARGE
+
+                                _A NOVEL_
+
+                                   BY
+                           J. STORER CLOUSTON
+
+AUTHORIZED EDITION
+
+BRENTANO'S
+NEW YORK
+1915
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+PART I.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART II.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+   CHAPTER VIII.
+   CHAPTER IX.
+PART III.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART IV.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+ERRATA.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                          THE LUNATIC AT LARGE.
+
+
+                              INTRODUCTORY.
+
+
+Into the history of Mr Francis Beveridge, as supplied by the obliging
+candour of the Baron von Blitzenberg and the notes of Dr Escott, Dr
+Twiddel and his friend Robert Welsh make a kind of explanatory entry. They
+most effectually set the ball a-rolling, and so the story starts in a
+small room looking out on a very uninteresting London street.
+
+It was about three o'clock on a November afternoon, that season of fogs
+and rains and mud, when towns-people long for fresh air and hillsides, and
+country-folk think wistfully of the warmth and lights of a city, when
+nobody is satisfied, and everybody has a cold. Outside the window of the
+room there were a few feet of earth adorned with a low bush or two, a line
+of railings, a stone-paved street, and on the other side a long row of
+uniform yellow brick houses. The apartment itself was a modest chamber,
+containing a minimum of rented furniture and a flickering gas-stove. By a
+small caseful of medical treatises and a conspicuous stethoscope, the
+least experienced could see that it was labelled consulting-room.
+
+Dr Twiddel was enjoying one of those moments of repose that occur even in
+the youngest practitioner's existence. For the purposes of this narrative
+he may briefly be described as an amiable-looking young man, with a little
+bit of fair moustache and still less chin, no practice to speak of, and a
+considerable quantity of unpaid bills. A man of such features and in such
+circumstances invites temptation. At the present moment, though his
+waistcoat was unbuttoned and his feet rested on the mantelpiece, his mind
+seemed not quite at ease. He looked back upon a number of fortunate events
+that had not occurred, and forward to various unpleasant things that might
+occur, and then he took a letter from his pocket and read it abstractedly.
+
+"I can't afford to refuse," he reflected, lugubriously; "and yet, hang it!
+I must say I don't fancy the job."
+
+When metal is molten it can be poured into any vessel; and at that moment
+a certain deep receptacle stood on the very doorstep.
+
+The doctor heard the bell, sat up briskly, stuffed the letter back into
+his pocket, and buttoned his waistcoat.
+
+"A patient at last!" and instantly there arose a vision of a simple
+operation, a fabulous fee, and twelve sickly millionaires an hour ever
+after. The door opened, and a loud voice hailed him familiarly.
+
+"Only Welsh," he sighed, and the vision went the way of all the others.
+
+The gentleman who swaggered in and clapped the doctor on the back, who
+next threw himself into the easiest chair and his hat and coat over the
+table, was in fact Mr Robert Welsh. From the moment he entered he pervaded
+the room; the stethoscope seemed to grow less conspicuous, Dr Twiddel's
+chin more diminutive, the apartment itself a mere background to this
+guest. Why? It would be hard to say precisely. He was a black-moustached,
+full-faced man, with an air of the most consummate assurance, and a person
+by some deemed handsome. Yet somehow or other he inevitably recalled the
+uncles of history. Perhaps this assurance alone gave him his atmosphere.
+You could have felt his egotism in the dark.
+
+He talked in a loud voice and with a great air of mastery over all the
+contingencies of a life about town. You felt that here sat one who had
+seen the world and gave things their proper proportions, who had learned
+how meretricious was orthodoxy, and which bars could really be
+recommended. He chaffed, patronised, and cheered the doctor. Patients had
+been scarce, had they? Well, after all, there were many consolations. Did
+Twiddle say he was hard up? Welsh himself in an even more evil case. He
+narrated various unfortunate transactions connected with the turf and
+other pursuits, with regret, no doubt, and yet with a fine rakish defiance
+of destiny. Twiddel's face cleared, and he began to show something of the
+same gallant spirit. He brought out a tall bottle with a Celtic
+superscription; Welsh half filled his glass, poured in some water from a
+dusty decanter, and proposed the toast of "Luck to the two most deserving
+sinners in London!"
+
+The doctor was fired, he drew the same letter from his pocket, and cried,
+"By Jove, Welsh, I'd almost forgotten to tell you of a lucky offer that
+came this morning."
+
+This was not strictly true, for as a matter of fact the doctor had only
+hesitated to tell of this offer lest he should be shamed to a decision.
+But Welsh was infectious.
+
+"Congratulations, old man!" said his friend. "What's it all about?"
+
+"Here's a letter from an old friend of my people's--Dr Watson, by name. He
+has a very good country practice, and he offers me this job."
+
+He handed the letter to Welsh, and then added, with a flutter of caution,
+"I haven't made up my mind yet. There are drawbacks, as you'll see."
+
+Welsh opened the letter and read:--
+
+"DEAR TWIDDEL,--I am happy to tell you that I am at last able to put
+something in your way. A gentleman in this neighbourhood, one of my most
+esteemed patients, has lately suffered from a severe mental and physical
+shock, followed by brain fever, and is still, I regret to say, in an
+extremely unstable mental condition. I have strongly recommended quiet and
+change of scene, and at my suggestion he is to be sent abroad under the
+care of a medical attendant. I have now much pleasure in offering you the
+post, if you would care to accept it. You will find your patient, Mr
+Mandell-Essington, an extremely agreeable young man when in possession of
+his proper faculties. He has large means and no near relatives; he comes
+of one of the best families in the county; and though he has, I surmise,
+sown his wild oats pretty freely, he was considered of unusual promise
+previous to this unfortunate illness. He is of an amiable and pleasant
+disposition, though at present, we fear, inclined to suicidal tendencies.
+I have no particular reason to think he is at all homicidal; still, you
+will see that he naturally requires most careful watching. It is possible
+that you may hesitate to leave your practice (which I trust prospers); but
+as the responsibility is considerable, the fee will be proportionately
+generous--�500, and all expenses paid."
+
+("Five hundred quid!" exclaimed Welsh.)
+
+"I would suggest a trip on the Continent. The duration and the places to
+be visited will be entirely at your discretion. It is of course hardly
+necessary to say that you will seek quiet localities. Trusting to hear
+from you at your very earliest convenience, believe me, yours sincerely,
+
+                                                          TIMOTHY WATSON."
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with the respect that prosperity naturally
+excites. He smiled on him as an equal, and cried, heartily,
+"Congratulations again! When do you start?"
+
+Twiddel fidgeted uncomfortably, "I--er--well, you see--ah--I haven't _quite_
+made up my mind yet."
+
+"What's the matter?"
+
+"Hang it, Welsh--er--the fact is I don't altogether like the job."
+
+Scruples of any kind always surprised Welsh.
+
+"Can't afford to leave the practice?" he asked with a laugh.
+
+"That's--ah--partly the reason," replied Twiddel, uncomfortably.
+
+"Rot, old man! There's a girl in the case. Out with it!"
+
+"No, it isn't that. You see it's the very devil of a responsibility."
+
+At this confession of weakness he looked guiltily at his heroic friend.
+From the bottom of his heart he wished he had screwed up his courage in
+private. Welsh had so little imagination.
+
+"By Gad," exclaimed Welsh, "I'd manage a nunnery for �500!"
+
+"I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly homicidal, lunatic
+isn't a nunnery."
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.
+
+"Then you are going to chuck up �500 and a free trip on the Continent?" he
+said.
+
+"Dr Watson himself admits the responsibility."
+
+"With a--what is it?--agreeable young man?"
+
+"Only when in possession of his proper faculties," said the doctor,
+dismally.
+
+"And an amiable disposition?"
+
+"With suicidal tendencies, hang it!"
+
+"I should have thought," said Welsh, with a laugh, "that they would only
+matter to himself."
+
+"But he is homicidal too--or at least it's doubtful. I want to know a
+little more about that, thank you!"
+
+"What is the man's name?"
+
+"Mandell-Essington."
+
+"Sounds aristocratic. He might come in useful afterwards, when he's
+cured."
+
+Welsh spoke with an air of reflection, which might have been entirely
+disinterested.
+
+"He'd probably commit suicide first," said Twiddel, "and of course I'd get
+all the blame."
+
+"Or homicide," replied Welsh, "When _he_ would."
+
+"No, he wouldn't--that's the worst of it; I'd be blamed for having my own
+throat cut."
+
+"Twiddel," said his friend, deliberately, "it seems to me you're a fool."
+
+"I'm at least alive," cried Twiddel, warming with sympathy for himself,
+"which I probably wouldn't be for long in Mr Essington's company."
+
+"I don't blame your nerves, dear boy," said Welsh, with a smile that
+showed all his teeth, "only your head. Here are �500 going a-begging.
+There must be some way----" He paused, deep in reflection. "How would it
+do," he remarked in a minute, "if _I_ were to go in your place?"
+
+Twiddel laughed and shook his head.
+
+"Couldn't be managed?"
+
+"Couldn't possibly, I'm afraid."
+
+"No," said Welsh. "I foresee difficulties."
+
+He fished a pipe out of his pocket, filled and lit it, and leaned back in
+his chair gazing at the ceiling.
+
+"Twiddel, my boy," he said at length, "will you give me a percentage of
+the fee if I think of a safe dodge for getting the money and preserving
+your throat?"
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+"Rather!" he said.
+
+"I am perfectly serious," replied Welsh, keenly. "I'm certain the thing is
+quite possible."
+
+He half closed his eyes and ruminated in silence. The doctor watched
+him--fascinated, afraid. Somehow or other he felt that he was already a
+kind of Guy Fawkes. There was something so unlawful in Welsh's expression.
+
+They sat there without speaking for about ten minutes, and then all of a
+sudden Welsh sprang up with a shout of laughter, slapping first his own
+leg and then the doctor's back.
+
+"By Gad, I've got it!" he cried. "I have it!"
+
+And he had; hence this tale.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART I.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+In a certain fertile and well-wooded county of England there stands a high
+stone wall. On a sunny day the eye of the traveller passing through this
+province is gratified by the sparkle of myriads of broken bottles arranged
+closely and continuously along its coping-stone. Above these shining
+facets the boughs of tall trees swing in the wind and throw their shadows
+across the highway. The wall at last leaves the road and follows the park
+round its entire extent. Its height never varies; the broken bottles
+glitter perpetually; and only through two entrances, and that when the
+gates are open, can one gain a single glimpse inside: for the gates are
+solid, with no chinks for the curious.
+
+The country all round is undulating, and here and there from the crest of
+an eminence you can see a great space of well-timbered park land within
+this wall; and in winter, when the leaves are off the trees, you may spy
+an imposing red-brick mansion in the midst.
+
+Any native will inform you, with a mixture of infectious awe and becoming
+pride, that this is no less than the far-famed private asylum of
+Clankwood.
+
+This ideal institution bore the enviable reputation of containing the
+best-bred lunatics in England. It was credibly reported that however well
+marked their symptoms and however well developed their delusions, none but
+ladies and gentlemen of the most unblemished descent were permitted to
+enjoy its seclusion. The dances there were universally considered the most
+agreeable functions in the county. The conversation of many of the inmates
+was of the widest range and the most refreshing originality, and the
+demeanour of all, even when most free from the conventional trammels of
+outside society, bore evidence of an expensive, and in some cases of a
+Christian, upbringing. This is scarcely to be wondered at, when beneath
+one roof were assembled the heirs-presumptive to three dukedoms, two
+suicidal marquises, an odd archbishop or so, and the flower of the
+baronetage and clergy. As this list only includes a few of the celebrities
+able or willing to be introduced to distinguished visitors, and makes no
+mention of the uncorroborated dignities (such as the classical divinities
+and Old Testament duplicates), the anxiety shown by some people to certify
+their relations can easily be understood.
+
+Dr Congleton, the proprietor and physician of Clankwood, was a gentleman
+singularly well fitted to act as host on the occasion of asylum reunions.
+No one could exceed him in the respect he showed to a coroneted head, even
+when cracked; and a bishop under his charge was always secured, as far as
+possible, from the least whisper of heretical conversation. He possessed
+besides a pleasant rubicund countenance and an immaculate wardrobe. He was
+further fortunate in having in his assistants, Dr Escott and Dr Sherlaw,
+two young gentlemen whose medical knowledge was almost equal to the
+affability of their manners and the excellence of their family
+connections.
+
+One November night these two were sitting over a comfortable fire in
+Sherlaw's room. Twelve o'clock struck, Escott finished the remains of
+something in a tumbler, rose, and yawned sleepily.
+
+"Time to turn in, young man," said he.
+
+"I suppose it is," replied Sherlaw, a very pleasant and boyish young
+gentleman. "Hullo! What's that? A cab?"
+
+They both listened, and some way off they could just pick out a sound like
+wheels upon gravel.
+
+"It's very late for any one to be coming in," said Escott.
+
+The sound grew clearer and more unmistakably like a cab rattling quickly
+up the drive.
+
+"It is a cab," said Sherlaw.
+
+They heard it draw up before the front door, and then there came a pause.
+
+"Who the deuce can it be?" muttered Escott.
+
+In a few minutes there came a knock at the door, and a servant entered.
+
+"A new case, sir. Want's to see Dr Congleton particular."
+
+"A man or a woman?"
+
+"Man, sir."
+
+"All right," growled Sherlaw. "I'll come, confound him."
+
+"Bad luck, old man," laughed Escott. "I'll wait here in case by any chance
+you want me."
+
+He fell into his chair again, lit a cigarette, and sleepily turned over
+the pages of a book. Dr Sherlaw was away for a little time, and when he
+returned his cheerful face wore a somewhat mystified expression.
+
+"Well?" asked Escott.
+
+"Rather a rum case," said his colleague, thoughtfully.
+
+"What's the matter?"
+
+"Don't know."
+
+"Who was it?"
+
+"Don't know that either."
+
+Escott opened his eyes.
+
+"What happened, then?"
+
+"Well," said Sherlaw, drawing his chair up to the fire again, "I'll tell
+you just what did happen, and you can make what you can out of it. Of
+course, I suppose it's all right, really, but--well, the proceedings were a
+little unusual, don't you know.
+
+"I went down to the door, and there I found a four-wheeler with a man
+standing beside it. The door of the cab was shut, and there seemed to be
+two more men inside. This chap who'd got out--a youngish man--hailed me at
+once as though he'd bought the whole place.
+
+" 'You Dr Congleton?'
+
+" 'Damn your impertinence!' I said to myself, 'ringing people up at this
+hour, and talking like a bally drill-sergeant.'
+
+"I told him politely I wasn't old Congers, but that I'd make a good enough
+substitute for the likes of him.
+
+" 'I tell you what it is,' said the Johnnie, 'I've brought a patient for
+Dr Congleton, a cousin of mine, and I've got a doctor here, too. I want to
+see Dr Congleton.'
+
+" 'He's probably in bed,' I said, 'but I'll do just as well. I suppose
+he's certified, and all that.'
+
+" 'Oh, it's all right,' said the man, rather as though he expected me to
+say that it wasn't. He looked a little doubtful what to do, and then I
+heard some one inside the cab call him. He stuck his head in the window
+and they confabbed for a minute, and then he turned to me and said, with
+the most magnificent air you ever saw, like a chap buying a set of diamond
+studs, 'My friend here is a great personal friend of Dr Congleton, and
+it's a damned---- I mean it's an uncommonly delicate matter. We must see
+him.'
+
+" 'Well, if you insist, I'll see if I can get him,' I said; 'but you'd
+better come in and wait.'
+
+"So the Johnnie opened the door of the cab, and there was a great hauling
+and pushing, my friend pulling an arm from the outside, and the doctor
+shoving from within, and at last they fetched out their patient. He was a
+tall man, in a very smart-looking, long, light top-coat, and a cap with a
+large peak shoved over his eyes, and he seemed very unsteady on his pins.
+
+" 'Drunk, by George!' I said to myself at first.
+
+"The doctor--another young-looking man--hopped out after him, and they each
+took an arm, lugged their patient into the waiting-room, and popped him
+into an armchair. There he collapsed, and sat with his head hanging down
+as limp as a sucked orange.
+
+"I asked them if anything was the matter with him.
+
+" 'Only tired,--just a little sleepy,' said the cousin.
+
+"And do you know, Escott, what I'd stake my best boots was the matter with
+him?"
+
+"What?"
+
+"The man was drugged!"
+
+Escott looked at the fire thoughtfully.
+
+"Well," he said, "it's quite possible; he might have been too violent to
+manage."
+
+"Why couldn't they have said so, then?"
+
+"H'm. Not knowing, can't say. What happened next?"
+
+"Next thing was, I asked the doctor what name I should give. He answered
+in a kind of nervous way, 'No name; you needn't give any name. I know Dr
+Congleton personally. Ask him to come, please.' So off I tooled, and found
+old Congers just thinking of turning in.
+
+" 'My clients are sometimes unnecessarily discreet', he remarked in his
+pompous way when I told him about the arrival, and of course he added his
+usual platitude about our reputation for discretion.
+
+"I went back with him to the waiting-room, and just stood at the door long
+enough to see him hail the doctor chap very cordially and be introduced to
+the patient's cousin, and then I came away. Rather rum, isn't it?"
+
+"You've certainly made the best of the yarn," said Escott with a laugh.
+
+"By George, if you'd been there you'd have thought it funny too."
+
+"Well, good-night, I'm off. We'll probably hear to-morrow what it's all
+about."
+
+But in the morning there was little more to be learned about the
+new-comer's history and antecedents. Dr Congleton spoke of the matter to
+the two young men, with the pompous cough that signified extreme
+discretion.
+
+"Brought by an old friend of mine," he said. "A curious story, Escott, but
+quite intelligible. There seem to be the best reasons for answering no
+questions about him; you understand?"
+
+"Certainly, sir," said the two assistants, with the more assurance as they
+had no information to give.
+
+"I am perfectly satisfied, mind you--perfectly satisfied," added their
+chief.
+
+"By the way, sir," Sherlaw ventured to remark, "hadn't they given him
+something in the way of a sleeping-draught?"
+
+"Eh? Indeed? I hardly think so, Sherlaw, I hardly think so. Case of
+reaction entirely. Good morning."
+
+"Congleton seems satisfied," remarked Escott.
+
+"I'll tell you what," said the junior, profoundly. "Old Congers is a very
+good chap, and all that, but he's not what I should call extra sharp. _I_
+should feel uncommon suspicious."
+
+"H'm," replied Escott. "As you say, our worthy chief is not extra sharp.
+But that's not our business, after all."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+"By the way," said Escott, a couple of days later, "how is your mysterious
+man getting on? I haven't seen him myself yet."
+
+Sherlaw laughed.
+
+"He's turning out a regular sportsman, by George! For the first day he was
+more or less in the same state in which he arrived. Then he began to wake
+up and ask questions. 'What the devil is this place?' he said to me in the
+evening. It may sound profane, but he was very polite, I assure you. I
+told him, and he sort of raised his eyebrows, smiled, and thanked me like
+a Prime Minister acknowledging an obligation. Since then he has steadily
+developed sporting, not to say frisky, tastes. He went out this morning,
+and in five minutes had his arm round one of the prettiest nurses' waist.
+And she didn't seem to mind much either, by George!"
+
+"He'll want a bit of looking after, I take it."
+
+"Seems to me he is uncommonly capable of taking care of himself. The rest
+of the establishment will want looking after, though."
+
+From this time forth the mysterious gentleman began to regularly take the
+air and to be remarked, and having once remarked him, people looked again.
+
+Mr Francis Beveridge, for such it appeared was his name, was distinguished
+even for Clankwood. Though his antecedents were involved in mystery, so
+much confidence was placed in Dr Congleton's discrimination that the
+unknown stranger was at once received on the most friendly terms by every
+one; and, to tell the truth, it would have been hard to repulse him for
+long. His manner was perfect, his conversation witty to the extremest
+verge of propriety, and his clothes, fashionable in cut and of
+unquestionable fit, bore on such of the buttons as were made of metal the
+hall mark of a leading London firm. He wore the longest and most silky
+moustaches ever seen, and beneath them a short well-tended beard completed
+his resemblance--so the ladies declared--to King Charles of unhappy memory.
+The melancholic Mr Jones (quondam author of 'Sunflowers--A Lyrical Medley')
+declared, indeed, that for Mr Beveridge shaving was prohibited, and darkly
+whispered "suicidal," but his opinion was held of little account.
+
+It was upon a morning about a week after his arrival that Dr Escott, alone
+in the billiard-room, saw him enter. Escott had by this time made his
+acquaintance, and, like almost everybody else, had already succumbed to
+the fascination of his address.
+
+"Good morning, doctor," he said; "I wish you to do me a trifling favour, a
+mere bending of your eyes."
+
+Escott laughed.
+
+"I shall be delighted. What is it?"
+
+Mr Beveridge unbuttoned his waistcoat and displayed his shirt-front.
+
+"I only want you to be good enough to read the inscription written here."
+
+The doctor bent down.
+
+" 'Francis Beveridge,' " he said. "That's all I see."
+
+"And that's all I see," said Mr Beveridge. "Now what can you read here? I
+am not troubling you?"
+
+He held out his handkerchief as he spoke.
+
+"Not a bit," laughed the doctor, "but I only see 'Francis Beveridge' here
+too, I'm afraid."
+
+"Everything has got it," said Mr Beveridge, shaking his head, it would be
+hard to say whether humorously or sadly. " 'Francis Beveridge' on
+everything. It follows, I suppose, that I am Francis Beveridge?"
+
+"What else?" asked Escott, who was much amused.
+
+"That's just it. What else?" said the other. He smiled a peculiarly
+charming smile, thanked the doctor with exaggerated gratitude, and
+strolled out again.
+
+"He is a rum chap," reflected Escott.
+
+And indeed in the outside world he might safely have been termed rather
+rum, but here in this backwater, so full of the oddest flotsam, his
+waywardness was rather less than the average. He had, for instance, a
+diverting habit of modifying the time, and even the tune, of the hymns on
+Sunday, and he confessed to having kissed all the nurses and housemaids
+except three. But both Escott and Sherlaw declared they had never met a
+more congenial spirit. Mr Beveridge's game of billiards was quite
+remarkable even for Clankwood, where the enforced leisure of many of the
+noblemen and gentlemen had made them highly proficient on the spot; he
+showed every promise, on his rare opportunities, of being an unusually
+entertaining small hour, whisky-and-soda _raconteur_; in fact, he was
+evidently a man whose previous career, whatever it might have been (and
+his own statements merely served to increase the mystery round this
+point), had led him through many humorous by-paths, and left him with few
+restrictive prejudices.
+
+November became December, and to all appearances he had settled down in
+his new residence with complete resignation, when that unknowable factor
+that upsets so many calculations came upon the scene,--the factor, I mean,
+that wears a petticoat.
+
+Mr Beveridge strolled into Escott's room one morning to find the doctor
+inspecting a mixed assortment of white kid gloves.
+
+"Do these mean past or future conquests?" he asked with his smile.
+
+"Both," laughed the doctor. "I'm trying to pick out a clean pair for the
+dance to-night."
+
+"You go a-dancing, then?"
+
+"Don't you know it's our own monthly ball here?"
+
+"Of course," said Mr Beveridge, passing his hand quickly across his brow.
+"I must have heard, but things pass so quickly through my head nowadays."
+
+He laughed a little conventional laugh, and gazed at the gloves.
+
+"You are coming, of course?" said Escott.
+
+"If you can lend me a pair of these. Can you spare one?"
+
+"Help yourself," replied the doctor.
+
+Mr Beveridge selected a pair with the care of a man who is particular in
+such matters, put them in his pocket, thanked the doctor, and went out.
+
+"Hope he doesn't play the fool," thought Escott.
+
+Invitations to the balls at Clankwood were naturally in great demand
+throughout the county, for nowhere were noblemen so numerous and
+divinities so tangible. Carriages and pairs rolled up one after another,
+the mansion glittered with lights, the strains of the band could be heard
+loud and stirring or low and faintly all through the house.
+
+"Who is that man dancing opposite my daughter?" asked the Countess of
+Grillyer.
+
+"A Mr Beveridge," replied Dr Congleton.
+
+Mr Beveridge, in fact, the mark of all eyes, was dancing in a set of
+lancers. The couple opposite to him consisted of a stout elderly gentleman
+who, doubtless for the best reasons, styled himself the Emperor of the two
+Americas, and a charming little pink and flaxen partner--the Lady Alicia �
+Fyre, as everybody who was anybody could have told you. The handsome
+stranger moved, as might be expected, with his accustomed grace and air of
+distinction, and, probably to convince his admirers that there was nothing
+meretricious in his performance, he carried his hands in his pockets the
+whole time. This certainly caused a little inconvenience to his partner,
+but to be characteristic in Clankwood one had to step very far out of the
+beaten track.
+
+For two figures the Emperor snorted disapproval, but at the end of the
+third, when Mr Beveridge had been skipping round the outskirts of the set,
+his hands still thrust out of sight, somewhat to the derangement of the
+customary procedure, he could contain himself no longer.
+
+"Hey, young man!" he asked in his most stentorian voice, as the music
+ceased, "are you afraid of having your pockets picked?"
+
+"Alas!" replied Mr Beveridge, "it would take two men to do that."
+
+"Huh!" snorted the Emperor, "you are so d--d strong, are you?"
+
+"I mean," answered his _vis-�-vis_ with his polite smile, "that it would
+take one man to put something in and another to take it out."
+
+This remark not only turned the laugh entirely on Mr Beveridge's side, but
+it introduced the upsetting factor.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+The Lady Alicia � Fyre, though of the outer everyday world herself, had,
+in common with most families of any pretensions to ancient dignity, a
+creditable sprinkling of uncles and cousins domiciled in Clankwood, and so
+she frequently attended these dances.
+
+To-night her eye had been caught by a tall, graceful figure executing a
+_pas seul_ in the middle of the room with its hands in its pockets. The
+face of this gentleman was so composed and handsome, and he seemed so
+oblivious to the presence of everybody else, that her interest was
+immediately excited. During the set of lancers in which he was her
+_vis-�-vis_ she watched him furtively with a growing feeling of
+admiration. She had never heard him say a word, and it was with a
+sensation of the liveliest interest that she listened to his brief passage
+with her partner. At his final retort her tender heart was overcome with
+pity. He was poor, then, or at least he was allowed the use of no money.
+And all of him that was outside his pockets seemed so sane and so
+gentlemanly; it seemed a pity to let him lack a little sympathy.
+
+The Lady Alicia might be described as a becoming frock stuffed with
+sentiment. Through a pair of large blue eyes she drank in romance, and
+with the reddest and most undecided of lips she felt a vague desire to
+kiss something. At the end of the dance she managed by a series of little
+manoeuvres to find herself standing close to his elbow. She sighed twice,
+but he still seemed absorbed in his thoughts. Then with a heroic effort
+she summed up her courage, and said in a low and rather shaky voice,
+"You--you--you are unha--appy."
+
+Mr Beveridge turned and looked down on her with great interest. Her eyes
+met his for a moment and straightway sought the floor. Thus she saw
+nothing of a smile that came and went like the shadow of a puff of smoke.
+He took his hands out of his pockets, folded his arms, and, with an air of
+the deepest dejection, sighed heavily. She took courage and looked up
+again, and then, as he only gazed into space in the most romantically
+melancholy fashion and made no answer, she asked again very timidly,
+"Wh--what is the matter?"
+
+Without saying a word Mr Beveridge bent courteously and offered her his
+right arm. She took it with the most delicious trepidation, glancing round
+hurriedly to see whether the Countess noticed her. Another dance was just
+beginning, and in the general movement her mysterious acquaintance led her
+without observation to a seat in the window of a corridor. There he
+pressed her hand gently, stroked his long moustaches for a minute, and
+then said, with an air of reflection: "There are three ways of making a
+woman like one. I am slightly out of practice. Would you be kind enough to
+suggest a method of procedure?"
+
+Such a beginning was so wholly unexpected that Lady Alicia could only give
+a little gasp of consternation. Her companion, after pausing an instant
+for a reply, went on in the same tone, "I am aware that I have begun well.
+I attracted your attention, I elicited your sympathy, and I pressed your
+hand; but for the life of me I can't remember what I generally do next."
+
+Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of sympathy ready to be
+gulped down by this unfortunate gentleman, was only able to stammer, "I--I
+really don't know, Mr----"
+
+"Hamilton," said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. "At least that name belongs
+to me as much as anything can be said to in a world where my creditors
+claim my money and Dr Congleton my person."
+
+"You are confined and poor, you mean?" asked Lady Alicia, beginning to see
+her way again.
+
+"Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order, for if I had the
+wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should certainly cease to be
+confined."
+
+His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this, and Mr Beveridge
+continued, "To return to the delicate subject from which we strayed, what
+would you like me to do,--put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
+or turn my back on you?"
+
+"Are--are those the three ways you spoke of--to make women like you, I
+mean?" Lady Alicia ventured to ask, though she was beginning to wish the
+sofa was larger.
+
+"They are examples of the three classical methods: cuddling, humbugging,
+and piquing. Which do you prefer?"
+
+"Tell me about your--your troubles," she answered, gaining courage a
+little.
+
+"You belong to the sex which makes no mention of figs and spades," he
+rejoined; "but I understand you to mean that you prefer humbugging."
+
+He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly into Lady Alicia's
+blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent voice, "My boyhood was troubled
+and unhappy: no kind words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel
+stepfather, ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
+heartless stepmother."
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness that surprised
+herself, and a perspicacity that would have surprised her friends, asked,
+"How could they--I mean, were they _both_ step?"
+
+"Several steps," he replied; "in fact, quite a long journey."
+
+With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain satisfied; but as
+he had paused a second time, and seemed to be immersed in the study of his
+shoes, she inquired again, "You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
+mean----?"
+
+"Deformities," he corrected; "up to the age of fourteen years I could only
+walk sideways, and my hair parted in the middle."
+
+He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies seemed to her the most
+touching misfortunes she had ever heard of. She murmured gently, "Yes?"
+
+"As the years advanced," Mr Beveridge continued, "and I became more nearly
+the same weight as my stepfather, my life grew happier. It was decided to
+send me to college, so I was provided with an insufficient cheque, a
+complete set of plated forks, and three bath-towels, and despatched to the
+University of Oxford. At least I think that was the name of the
+corporation which took my money and endeavoured to restrict my habits,
+though, to confess the truth, my memory is not what it used to be. There I
+learned wisdom by the practice of folly--the most amusing and effective
+method. My tutor used to tell me I had some originality. I apologised for
+its presence in such a respectable institution, and undertook to pass an
+examination instead. I believe I succeeded: I certainly remember giving a
+dinner to celebrate something. Thereupon at my own expense the University
+inflicted a degree upon me, but I was shortly afterwards compensated by
+the death of my uncle and my accession to his estates. Having enjoyed a
+university education, and accordingly possessing a corrected and regulated
+sentiment, I was naturally inconsolable at the decease of this venerable
+relative, who for so long had shown a kindly interest in the poor orphan
+lad."
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia asked with great interest, "But
+your step-parents, you always had them, hadn't you?"
+
+"Never!" he replied, sadly.
+
+"Never?" she exclaimed in some bewilderment.
+
+"Certainly not often," he answered, "and oftener than not, never. If you
+had told me beforehand you wished to hear my history, I should have pruned
+my family tree into a more presentable shape. But if you will kindly tell
+me as I go along which of my relatives you disapprove of, and who you
+would like to be introduced, I shall arrange the plot to suit you."
+
+"I only wish to hear the true story, Mr Hamilton."
+
+"Fortescue," he corrected. "I certainly prefer to be called by one name at
+a time, but never by the same twice running."
+
+He smiled so agreeably as he said this that Lady Alicia, though puzzled
+and a little hurt, could not refrain from smiling back.
+
+"Let me hear the rest," she said.
+
+"It is no truer than the first part, but quite as entertaining. So, if you
+like, I shall endeavour to recall the series of painful episodes that
+brought me to Clankwood," he answered, very seriously.
+
+Lady Alicia settled herself comfortably into one corner of the sofa and
+prepared to feel affected. But at that moment the portly form of Dr
+Congleton appeared from the direction of the ballroom with a still more
+portly dowager on his arm.
+
+"My mother!" exclaimed Lady Alicia, rising quickly to her feet.
+
+"Indeed?" said Mr Beveridge, who still kept his seat. "She certainly looks
+handsome enough."
+
+This speech made Lady Alicia blush very becomingly, and the Countess
+looked at her sharply.
+
+"Where have you been, Alicia?"
+
+"The room was rather warm, mamma, and----"
+
+"In short, madam," interrupted Mr Beveridge, rising and bowing, "your
+charming daughter wished to study a lunatic at close quarters. I am mad,
+and I obligingly raved. Thus----" He ran one hand through his hair so as to
+make it fall over his eyes, blew out his cheeks, and uttering a yell,
+sprang high into the air, and descended in a sitting posture on the floor.
+
+"That, madam, is a very common symptom," he explained, with a smile,
+smoothing down his hair again, "as our friend Dr Congleton will tell you."
+
+Both the doctor and the Countess were too astonished to make any reply, so
+he turned again to Lady Alicia, and offering his arm, said, "Let me lead
+you back to our fellow-fools."
+
+"Is he safe?" whispered the Countess.
+
+"I--I believe so," replied Dr Congleton in some confusion; "but I shall
+have him watched more carefully."
+
+As they entered the room Mr Beveridge whispered, "Will you meet a poor
+lunatic again?" And the Lady Alicia pressed his arm.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+On the morning after the dance Dr Congleton summoned Dr Escott to his
+room.
+
+"Escott," he began, "we must keep a little sharper eye on Mr Beveridge."
+
+"Indeed, sir?" said Escott; "he seems to me harmless enough."
+
+"Nevertheless, he must be watched. Lady Grillyer was considerably alarmed
+by his conduct last night, and a client who has confided so many of her
+relatives to my care must be treated with the greatest regard. I receive
+pheasants at Christmas from no fewer than fourteen families of title, and
+my reputation for discretion is too valuable to be risked. When Mr
+Beveridge is not under your own eyes you must see that Moggridge always
+keeps him in sight."
+
+Accordingly Moggridge, a burly and seasoned attendant on refractory
+patients, was told off to keep an unobtrusive eye on that accomplished
+gentleman. His duties appeared light enough, for, as I have said, Mr
+Beveridge's eccentricities had hitherto been merely of the most playful
+nature.
+
+After luncheon on this same day he gave Escott twelve breaks and a beating
+at billiards, and then having borrowed and approved of one of his cigars,
+he strolled into the park. If he intended to escape observation, he
+certainly showed the most skilful strategy, for he dodged deviously
+through the largest trees, and at last, after a roundabout ramble, struck
+a sheltered walk that ran underneath the high, glass-decked outer wall. It
+was a sunny winter afternoon. The boughs were stripped, and the leaves lay
+littered on the walk or flickered and stirred through the grass. In this
+spot the high trees stood so close and the bare branches were so thick
+that there was still an air of quiet and seclusion where he paced and
+smoked. Every now and then he stopped and listened and looked at his
+watch, and as he walked backwards and forwards an amused smile would come
+and go.
+
+All at once he heard something move on the far side of the wall: he paused
+to make sure, and then he whistled, the sounds outside ceased, and in a
+moment something fell softly behind him. He turned quickly and snatched up
+a little buttonhole of flowers with a still smaller note tied to the
+stems.
+
+"An uncommonly happy idea," he said to himself, looking at the missive
+with the air of one versed in these matters. Then he leisurely proceeded
+to unfold and read the note.
+
+"To my friend," he read, "if I may call you a friend, since I have known
+you only _such a short time_--may I? This is just to express my sympathy,
+and although I cannot express it well, still perhaps you will forgive my
+feeble effort!!"
+
+At this point, just as he was regarding the double mark of exclamation
+with reminiscent entertainment, a plaintive voice from the other side of
+the wall cried in a stage whisper, "Have you got it?"
+
+Mr Beveridge composed his face, and heaving his shoulders to his ears in
+the effort, gave vent to a prodigious sigh.
+
+"A million thanks, my fairest and kindest of friends," he answered in the
+same tone. "I read it now: I drink it in, I----"
+
+He kissed the back of his hand loudly two or three times, sighed again,
+and continued his reading.
+
+"I wish I could help you," it ran, "but I am afraid I cannot, as the world
+is _so censorious_, is it not? So you must accept a friend's sympathy if
+it does not seem to you too bold and forward of her!!! Perhaps we may meet
+again, as I sometimes go to Clankwood. _Au revoir._--Your sympathetic
+well-wisher. A. �. F."
+
+He folded it up and put it in his waistcoat-pocket, then he exclaimed in
+an audible aside, his voice shaking with the most affecting thrill,
+"_Perhaps_ we may meet again! Only _perhaps!_ O Alicia!" And then dropping
+again into a stage whisper, he asked, "Are you still there, Lady Alicia?"
+
+A timorous voice replied, "Yes, Mr Fortescue. But I really _must_ go now!"
+
+"Now? So soon?"
+
+"I have stayed too long already."
+
+"'Tis better to have stayed too long than never to wear stays at all,"
+replied Mr Beveridge.
+
+There was no response for a moment. Then a low voice, a little hurt and a
+good deal puzzled, asked with evident hesitation, "What--what did you say,
+Mr Fortescue?"
+
+"I said that Lady Alicia's stay cannot be too long," he answered, softly.
+
+"But--but what good can I be?"
+
+"The good you cannot help being."
+
+There was another moment's pause, then the voice whispered, "I don't quite
+understand you."
+
+"My Alicia understands me not!" Mr Beveridge soliloquised in another
+audible aside. Aloud, or rather in a little lower tone, he answered, "I am
+friendless, poor, and imprisoned. What is the good in your staying? Ah,
+Lady Alicia! But why should I detain you? Go, fair friend! Go and forget
+poor Francis Beveridge!"
+
+There came a soft, surprised answer, "Francis Beveridge?"
+
+"Alas! you have guessed my secret. Yes, that is the name of the unhappiest
+of mortals."
+
+As he spoke these melancholy words he threw away the stump of his cigar,
+took another from his case, and bit off the end.
+
+The voice replied, "I shall remember it--among my friends."
+
+Mr Beveridge struck a match.
+
+"H'sh! Whatever is that?" cried the voice in alarm.
+
+"A heart breaking," he replied, lighting his cigar.
+
+"Don't talk like that," said the voice. "It--it distresses me." There was a
+break in the voice.
+
+"And, alas! between distress and consolation there are fifteen
+perpendicular feet of stone and mortar and the relics of twelve hundred
+bottles of Bass," he replied.
+
+"Perhaps,"--the voice hesitated--"perhaps we may see each other some day."
+
+"Say to-morrow at four o'clock," he suggested, pertinently. "If you could
+manage to be passing up the drive at that hour."
+
+There was another pause.
+
+"Perhaps----" the voice began.
+
+At that moment he heard the sharp crack of a branch behind him, and
+turning instantly he spied the uncompromising countenance of Moggridge
+peering round a tree about twenty paces distant. Lack of presence of mind
+and quick decision were not amongst Mr Beveridge's failings. He struck a
+theatrical attitude at once, and began in a loud voice, gazing up at the
+tops of the trees, "He comes! A stranger comes! Yes, my fair friend, we
+may meet again. _Au revoir_, but only for a while! Ah, that a breaking
+heart should be lit for a moment and then the lamp be put out!"
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge was walking towards him.
+
+"Ha, Moggridge!" he cried. "Good day."
+
+"Time you was goin' in, sir," said Moggridge, stolidly; and to himself he
+muttered, "He's crackeder than I thought, a-shoutin' and a-ravin' to
+hisself. Just as well I kept a heye on 'im."
+
+Like most clever people, Mr Beveridge generally followed the line of least
+resistance. He slipped his arm through his attendant's, shouted a farewell
+apparently to some imaginary divinity overhead, and turned towards the
+house.
+
+"This is an unexpected pleasure," he remarked.
+
+"Yes, sir," replied Moggridge.
+
+"Funny thing your turning up. Out for a walk, I suppose?"
+
+"For a stroll, sir--that's to say----" he stopped.
+
+"That on these chilly afternoons the dear good doctor is afraid of my
+health?"
+
+"That's kind o' it, sir."
+
+"But of course I'm not supposed to notice anything, eh?"
+
+Moggridge looked a trifle uncomfortable and was discreetly silent. Mr
+Beveridge smiled at his own perspicacity, and then began in the most
+friendly tone, "Well, I feel flattered that so stout a man has been told
+off to take care of me. What an arm you've got, man."
+
+"Pretty fair, sir," said Moggridge, complacently.
+
+"And I am thankful, too," continued Mr Beveridge, "that you're a man of
+some sense. There are a lot of fools in the world, Moggridge, and I'm
+somewhat of an epicure in the matter of heads."
+
+"Mine 'as been considered pretty sharp," Moggridge admitted, with a
+gratified relaxation of his wooden countenance.
+
+"Have a cigar?" his patient asked, taking out his case.
+
+"Thank you, sir, I don't mind if I do."
+
+"You will find it a capital smoke. I don't throw them away on every one."
+
+Moggridge, completely thawed, lit his cigar and slackened his pace, for
+such frank appreciation of his merits was rare in a critical world.
+
+"You can perhaps believe, Moggridge," said Mr Beveridge, reflectively,
+"that one doesn't often have the chance of talking confidentially to a man
+of sense in Clankwood."
+
+"No, sir, I should himagine not."
+
+"And so one has sometimes to talk to oneself."
+
+This was said so sadly that Moggridge began to feel uncomfortably
+affected.
+
+"Ah, Moggridge, one cannot always keep silence, even when one least wants
+to be overheard. Have you ever been in love, Moggridge?"
+
+The burly keeper changed countenance a little at this embarrassingly
+direct question, and answered diffidently, "Well, sir, to be sure men is
+men and woming will be woming."
+
+"The deuce, they will!" replied Mr Beveridge, cordially; "and it's rather
+hard to forget 'em, eh?"
+
+"Hindeed it is, sir."
+
+"I remembered this afternoon, but I should like you as a good chap to
+forget. You won't mention my moment of weakness, Moggridge?"
+
+"No, sir," said Moggridge, stoutly. "I suppose I hought to report what I
+sees, but I won't this time."
+
+"Thank you," said Mr Beveridge, pressing his arm. "I had, you know, a
+touch of the sun in India, and I sometimes talk when I shouldn't. Though,
+after all, that isn't a very uncommon complaint."
+
+And so it happened that no rumour prejudicial either to his sanity or to
+the progress of his friendship with the Lady Alicia reached the ears of
+the authorities.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+Towards four o'clock on the following afternoon Mr Beveridge and Moggridge
+were walking leisurely down the long drive leading from the mansion of
+Clankwood to the gate that opened on the humdrum outer world. Finding that
+an inelastic matter of yards was all the tether he could hope for, Mr
+Beveridge thought it best to take the bull by the horns, and make a
+companion of this necessity. So he kept his attendant by his side, and
+regaled him for some time with a series of improbable reminiscences and
+tolerable cigars, till at last, round a bend of the avenue, a lady on
+horseback came into view. As she drew a little nearer he stopped with an
+air of great surprise and pleasure.
+
+"I believe, Moggridge, that must be Lady Alicia � Fyre!" he exclaimed.
+
+"It looks huncommon like her, sir," replied Moggridge.
+
+"I must really speak to her. She was"--and Mr Beveridge assumed his
+inimitable air of manly sentiment--"she was one of my poor mother's dearest
+friends. Do you mind, Moggridge, falling behind a little? In fact, if you
+could step behind a tree and wait here for me, it would be pleasanter for
+us both. We used to meet under happier circumstances, and, don't you know,
+it might distress her to be reminded of my misfortunes."
+
+Such a reasonable request, beseechingly put by so fine a gentleman, could
+scarcely be refused. Moggridge retired behind the trees that lined the
+avenue, and Mr Beveridge advanced alone to meet the Lady Alicia. She
+blushed very becomingly as he raised his hat.
+
+"I hardly expected to see you to-day, Mr Beveridge," she began.
+
+"I, on the other hand, have been thinking of nothing else," he replied.
+
+She blushed still deeper, but responded a little reprovingly, "It's very
+polite of you to say so, but----"
+
+"Not a bit," said he. "I have a dozen equally well-turned sentences at my
+disposal, and, they tell me, a most deluding way of saying them."
+
+Suddenly out of her depth again, poor Lady Alicia could only strike out at
+random.
+
+"Who tell you?" she managed to say.
+
+"First, so far as my poor memory goes, my mother's lady's-maid informed me
+of the fact; then I think my sister's governess," he replied, ticking off
+his informants on his fingers with a half-abstracted air. "After that came
+a number of more or less reliable individuals, and lastly the Lady Alicia
+� Fyre."
+
+"Me? I'm sure I never said----"
+
+"None of them ever _said_," he interrupted.
+
+"But what have I done, then?" she asked, tightening her reins, and making
+her horse fidget a foot or two farther away.
+
+"You have begun to be a most adorable friend to a most unfortunate man."
+
+Still Lady Alicia looked at him a little dubiously, and only said, "I--I
+hope I'm not too friendly."
+
+"There are no degrees in friendly," he replied. "There are only aloofly,
+friendly, and more than friendly."
+
+"I--I think I ought to be going on, Mr Beveridge."
+
+That experienced diplomatist perceived that it was necessary to further
+embellish himself.
+
+"Are you fond of soldiers?" he asked, abruptly.
+
+"I beg your pardon?" she said in considerable bewilderment.
+
+"Does a red coat, a medal, and a brass band appeal to you? Are you apt to
+be interested in her Majesty's army?"
+
+"I generally like soldiers," she admitted, still much surprised at the
+turn the conversation had taken.
+
+"Then I was a soldier."
+
+"But--really?"
+
+"I held a commission in one of the crackest cavalry regiments," he began
+dramatically, and yet with a great air of sincerity. "I was considered one
+of the most promising officers in the mess. It nearly broke my heart to
+leave the service."
+
+He turned away his head. Lady Alicia was visibly affected.
+
+"I am so sorry!" she murmured.
+
+Still keeping his face turned away, he held out his hand and she pressed
+it gently.
+
+"Sorrow cannot give me my freedom," he said.
+
+"If there is anything I can do----" she began.
+
+"Dismount," he said, looking up at her tenderly.
+
+Lady Alicia never quite knew how it happened, but certainly she found
+herself standing on the ground, and the next moment Mr Beveridge was in
+her place.
+
+"An old soldier," he exclaimed, gaily; "I can't resist the temptation of
+having a canter." And with that he started at a gallop towards the gate.
+
+With a blasphemous ejaculation Moggridge sprang from behind his tree, and
+set off down the drive in hot pursuit.
+
+Lady Alicia screamed, "Stop! stop! Francis--I mean, Mr Beveridge; stop,
+please!"
+
+But the favorite of the crack regiment, despite the lady's saddle, sat his
+steed well, and rapidly left cries and footsteps far behind. The lodge was
+nearly half a mile away, and as the avenue wound between palisades of old
+trees, the shouts became muffled, and when he looked over his shoulder he
+saw in the stretch behind him no sign of benefactress or pursuer. By
+continued exhortations and the point of his penknife he kept his horse at
+full stretch; round the next bend he knew he should see the gates.
+
+"Five to one on the blank things being shut," he muttered.
+
+He swept round the curve, and there ahead of him he saw the gates grimly
+closed, and at the lodge door a dismounted groom, standing beside his
+horse.
+
+Only remarking "Damn!" he reined up, turned, and trotted quietly back
+again. Presently he met Moggridge, red in the face, muddy as to his
+trousers, and panting hard.
+
+"Nice little nag this, Moggridge," he remarked, airily.
+
+"Nice sweat you've give me," rejoined his attendant, wrathfully.
+
+"You don't mean to say you ran after me?"
+
+"I does mean to say," Moggridge replied grimly, seizing the reins.
+
+"Want to lead him? Very well--it makes us look quite like the Derby winner
+coming in."
+
+"Derby loser you means, thanks to them gates bein' shut."
+
+"Gates shut? Were they? I didn't happen to notice."
+
+"No, o' course not," said Moggridge, sarcastically; "that there sunstroke
+you got in India prevented you, I suppose?"
+
+"Have a cigar?"
+
+To this overture Moggridge made no reply. Mr Beveridge laughed and
+continued lightly, "I had no idea you were so fond of exercise. I'd have
+given you a lead all round the park if I'd known."
+
+"You'd 'ave given me a lead all round the county if them gates 'ad been
+open."
+
+"It might have been difficult to stop this fiery animal," Mr Beveridge
+admitted. "But now, Moggridge, the run is over. I think I can take Lady
+Alicia's horse back to her myself."
+
+Moggridge smiled grimly.
+
+"You won't let go?"
+
+"No fears."
+
+Mr Beveridge put his hand behind his back and silently drove the penknife
+a quarter of an inch into his mount's hind quarters. In an instant his
+keeper felt himself being lifted nearly off his feet, and in another
+actually deposited on his face. Off went the accomplished horseman again
+at top speed, but this time back to Lady Alicia. He saw her standing by
+the side of the drive, her handkerchief to her eyes, a penitent and
+disconsolate little figure. When she heard him coming, she dried her eyes
+and looked up, but her face was still tearful.
+
+"Well, I am back from my ride," he remarked in a perfectly usual voice,
+dismounting as he spoke.
+
+"The man!" she cried, "where is that dreadful man?"
+
+"What man?" he asked in some surprise.
+
+"The man who chased you."
+
+Mr Beveridge laughed aloud, at which Lady Alicia took fresh refuge in her
+handkerchief.
+
+"He follows on foot," he replied.
+
+"Did he catch you? Oh, why didn't you escape altogether?" she sobbed.
+
+Mr Beveridge looked at her with growing interest.
+
+"I had begun to forget my petticoat psychology," he reflected (aloud,
+after his unconventional fashion).
+
+"Oh, here he comes," she shuddered. "All blood! Oh, what have you done to
+him?"
+
+"On my honour, nothing,--I merely haven't washed his face."
+
+By this time Moggridge was coming close upon them.
+
+"You won't forget a poor soldier?" said Mr Beveridge in a lower voice.
+
+There was no reply.
+
+"A _poor_ soldier," he added, with a sigh, glancing at her from the corner
+of his eye. "So poor that even if I had got out, I could only have ridden
+till I dropped."
+
+"Would you accept----?" she began, timidly.
+
+"What day?" he interrupted, hurriedly.
+
+"Tuesday," she hesitated.
+
+"Four o'clock, again. Same place as before. When I whistle throw it over
+at once."
+
+Before they had time to say more, Moggridge, blood- and gravel-stained,
+came up.
+
+"It's all right, miss," he said, coming between them; "I'll see that he
+plays no more of 'is tricks. There's nothin' to be afrightened of."
+
+"Stand back!" she cried; "don't come near me!"
+
+Moggridge was too staggered at this outburst to say a word.
+
+"Stand away!" she said, and the bewildered attendant stood away. She
+turned to Mr Beveridge.
+
+"Now, will you help me up?"
+
+She mounted lightly, said a brief farewell, and, forgetting all about the
+call at Clankwood she had ostensibly come to pay, turned her horse's head
+towards the lodge.
+
+"Well, I'm blowed!" said Moggridge.
+
+"They do blow one," his patient assented.
+
+Naturally enough the story of this equestrian adventure soon ran through
+Clankwood. The exact particulars, however, were a little hard to collect,
+for while Moggridge supplied many minute and picturesque details,
+illustrating his own activity and presence of mind and the imminent peril
+of the Lady Alicia, Mr Beveridge recounted an equally vivid story of a
+runaway horse recovered by himself to its fair owner's unbounded
+gratitude. Official opinion naturally accepted the official account, and
+for the next few days Mr Beveridge became an object of considerable
+anxiety and mistrust.
+
+"I can't make the man out," said Sherlaw to Escott. "I had begun to think
+there was nothing much the matter with him."
+
+"No more there is," replied Escott. "His memory seems to me to have
+suffered from something, and he simply supplies its place in conversation
+from his imagination, and in action from the inspiration of the moment.
+The methods of society are too orthodox for such an aberration, and as his
+friends doubtless pay a handsome fee to keep him here, old Congers labels
+him mad and locks the door on him."
+
+A day or two afterwards official opinion was a little disturbed. Lady
+Alicia, in reply to anxious inquiries, gave a third version of the
+adventure, from which nothing in particular could be gathered except that
+nothing in particular had happened.
+
+"What do you make of this, Escott?" asked Dr Congleton, laying her note
+before his assistant.
+
+"Merely that a woman wrote it."
+
+"Hum! I suppose that _is_ the explanation."
+
+Upon which the doctor looked profound and went to lunch.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+"Two five-pound notes, half-a-sovereign, and seven and sixpence in
+silver," said Mr Beveridge to himself. "Ah, and a card."
+
+On the card was written, "From a friend, if you will accept it. A."
+
+He was standing under the wall, in the secluded walk, holding a little
+lady's purse in his hand, and listening to two different footsteps. One
+little pair of feet were hurrying away on the farther side of the high
+wall, another and larger were approaching him at a run.
+
+"Wot's he bin up to now, I wonder," Moggridge panted to himself--for the
+second pair of feet belonged to him. "Shamming nose-bleed and sending me
+in for an 'andkerchief, and then sneaking off here by 'isself!"
+
+"What a time you've been," said Mr Beveridge, slipping the purse with its
+contents into his pocket. "I was so infernally cold I had to take a little
+walk. Got the handkerchief?"
+
+In silence and with a suspicious solemnity Moggridge handed him the
+handkerchief, and they turned back for the house.
+
+"Now for a balloon," Mr Beveridge reflected.
+
+Certainly it was cold. The frost nipped sharp that night, and next morning
+there were ice gardens on the windows, and the park lay white all through
+the winter sunshine.
+
+By evening the private lake was reported to be bearing, and the next day
+it hummed under the first skaters. Hardly necessary to say Mr Beveridge
+was among the earliest of them, or that he was at once the object of
+general admiration and envy. He traced "vines" and "Q's," and performed
+wonderful feats on one leg all morning. At lunch he was in the best of
+spirits, and was off again at once to the ice.
+
+When he reached the lake in the afternoon the first person he spied was
+Lady Alicia, and five minutes afterwards they were sailing off together
+hand in hand.
+
+"I knew you would come to-day," he remarked.
+
+"How _could_ you have known? It was by the merest chance I happened to
+come."
+
+"It has always been by the merest chance that any of them have ever come."
+
+"Who have ever come?" she inquired, with a vague feeling that he had said
+something he ought not to have, and that she was doing the same.
+
+"Many things," he smiled, "including purses. Which reminds me that I am
+eternally your debtor."
+
+She blushed and said, "I hope you didn't mind."
+
+"Not much," he answered, candidly. "In my present circumstances a
+five-pound note is more acceptable than a caress."
+
+The Lady Alicia again remembered the maidenly proprieties, and tried to
+change the subject.
+
+"What beautiful ice!" she said.
+
+"The question now is," he continued, paying no heed to this diversion,
+"what am I to do next?"
+
+"What do you mean?" she asked a little faintly, realising dimly that she
+was being regarded as a fellow-conspirator in some unlawful project.
+
+"The wall is high, there is bottle-glass on the top, and I shall find it
+hard to bring away a fresh pair of trousers, and probably draughty if I
+don't. The gates are always kept closed, and it isn't worth any one's
+while to open them for �10, 17s. 6d., less the price of a first-class
+ticket up to town. What are we to do?"
+
+"We?" she gasped.
+
+"You and I," he explained.
+
+"But--but I can't _possibly_ do anything."
+
+" 'Can't possibly' is a phrase I have learned to misunderstand."
+
+"Really, Mr Beveridge, I mustn't do anything."
+
+"Mustn't is an invariable preface to a sin. Never use it; it's a
+temptation in itself."
+
+"It wouldn't be right," she said, with quite a show of firmness.
+
+He looked at her a little curiously. For a moment he almost seemed
+puzzled. Then he pressed her hand and asked tenderly, "Why not?"
+
+And in a half-audible aside he added, "That's the correct move, I think."
+
+"What did you say?" she asked.
+
+"I said, 'Why not?' " he answered, with increasing tenderness.
+
+"But you said something else."
+
+"I added a brief prayer for pity."
+
+Lady Alicia sighed and repeated a little less firmly. "It wouldn't be
+right of me, Mr Beveridge."
+
+"But what would be wrong?"
+
+This was said with even more fervour.
+
+"My conscience--we are very particular, you know."
+
+"Who are 'we'?"
+
+"Papa is _very_ strict High Church."
+
+An idea seemed to strike Mr Beveridge, for he ruminated in silence.
+
+"I asked Mr Candles--our curate, you know," Lady Alicia continued, with a
+heroic effort to make her position clear.
+
+"You told him!" he exclaimed.
+
+"Oh, I didn't say who it was--I mean what it was I thought of doing--I mean
+the temptation--that is, the possibility. And he said it was very kind of
+me to think of it; but I mustn't do anything, and he advised me to read a
+book he gave me, and--and I mustn't think of it, really, Mr Beveridge."
+
+To himself Mr Beveridge repeated under his breath, "Archbishops, bishops,
+deacons, curates, fast in Lent, and an anthem after the Creed. I think I
+remember enough to pass."
+
+Then he assumed a very serious face, and said aloud, "Your scruples do
+your heart credit. They have given me an insight into your deep and sweet
+character, which emboldens me to make a confession."
+
+He stopped skating, folded his arms, and continued unblushingly, "I was
+educated for the Church, but the prejudices of my parents, the immature
+scepticism of youth, and some uncertainty about obtaining my
+archbishopric, induced me in an unfortunate moment, which I never ceased
+to bitterly regret, to quit my orders."
+
+"You are in orders?" she exclaimed.
+
+"I was in several. I cancelled them, and entered the Navy instead."
+
+"The Navy?" she asked, excusably bewildered by these rapid changes of
+occupation.
+
+"For five years I was never ashore."
+
+"But," she hesitated--"but you said you were in the Army."
+
+Mr Beveridge gave her a look full of benignant compassion that made her,
+she did not quite know why, feel terribly abashed.
+
+"My regiment was quartered at sea," he condescended to explain. "But in
+time my conscience awoke. I announced my intention of resuming my charge.
+My uncle was furious. My enemies were many. I was seized, thrown into this
+prison-house, and now my only friend fails me."
+
+They were both silent. She ventured once to glance up at his face, and it
+seemed to her that his eyes were moist--though perhaps it was that her own
+were a little dim.
+
+"Let us skate on," he said abruptly, with a fine air of resignation.
+
+"By the way," he suddenly added, "I was extremely High Church, in fact
+almost freezingly high."
+
+For five minutes they skated in silence, then Lady Alicia began softly,
+"Supposing you--you went away----"
+
+"What is the use of talking of it?" he exclaimed, melodramatically. "Let
+me forget my short-lived hopes!"
+
+"You _have_ a friend," she said, slowly.
+
+"A friend who tantalises me by 'supposings'!"
+
+"But supposing you did, Mr Beveridge, would you go back to your--did you
+say you had a parish?"
+
+"I had: a large, populous, and happy parish. It is my one dream to sit
+once more on its council and direct my curate."
+
+"Of course that makes a difference. Mr Candles didn't know all this."
+
+They had come by this time to the corner of a little island that lay not
+far from the shore; in the channel ahead a board labelled "Danger" marked
+a hidden spring; behind them the shining ice was almost bare of skaters,
+for all but Dr Escott seemed to be leaving; on the bank they could see
+Moggridge prowling about in the gathering dusk, a vigilant reminder of
+captivity. Mr Beveridge took the whole scene in with, it is to be feared,
+a militant rather than an episcopal eye. Then he suddenly asked, "Are you
+alone?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"You drive back?"
+
+"Ye--es."
+
+He took out his watch and made a brief calculation.
+
+"Go now, call at Clankwood or do anything else you like, and pass down the
+drive again at a quarter to five."
+
+This sudden pinning of her irresolution almost took Lady Alicia's breath
+away.
+
+"But I never said----" she began.
+
+"My dear friend," he interrupted, "in the hour of action only a fool ever
+says. Come on."
+
+And while she still hesitated they were off again.
+
+"But----" she tried to expostulate.
+
+"My dearest friend," he whispered, "and my dear old vicarage!"
+
+He gave her no time to protest. Her skates were off, she was on her way to
+her carriage, and he was striking out again for the middle of the lake
+before she had time to collect her wits.
+
+He took out his watch and looked at the time. It was nearly a quarter-past
+four. Then he came up to Escott, who by this time was the only other soul
+on the ice.
+
+"About time we were going in," said Escott.
+
+"Give me half-an-hour more. I'll show you how to do that vine you
+admired."
+
+"All right," assented the doctor.
+
+A minute or two later Mr Beveridge, as if struck by a sudden reflection,
+exclaimed, "By Jove, there's that poor devil Moggridge freezing to death
+on shore. Can't you manage to look after so dangerous a lunatic yourself?
+It is his tea-time, too."
+
+"Hallo, so he is," replied Escott; "I'll send him up."
+
+And so there were only left the two men on the ice.
+
+For a little the lesson went on, and presently, leaving the doctor to
+practise, Mr Beveridge skated away by himself. He first paused opposite a
+seat on the bank over which hung Dr Escott's great fur coat. This
+spectacle appeared to afford him peculiar pleasure. Then he looked at his
+watch. It was half-past four. He shut the watch with a click, threw a
+glance at his pupil, and struck out for the island. If the doctor had been
+looking, he might have seen him round it in the gloaming.
+
+Dr Escott, leaning far on his outside edge, met him as he returned.
+
+"What's that under your coat?" he asked.
+
+"A picture I intend to ask your opinion on presently," replied Mr
+Beveridge; and he added, with his most charming air, "But now, before we
+go in, let me give you a ride on one of these chairs, doctor."
+
+They started off, the pace growing faster and faster, and presently Dr
+Escott saw that they were going behind the island.
+
+"Look out for the spring!" he cried.
+
+"It must be bearing now," replied Mr Beveridge, striking out harder than
+ever; "they have taken away the board."
+
+"All right," said the doctor, "on you go."
+
+As he spoke he felt a violent push, and the chair, slewing round as it
+went, flew on its course unguided. Mr Beveridge's skates rasped on the ice
+with a spray of white powder as he stopped himself suddenly. Ahead of him
+there was a rending crack, and Dr Escott and his chair disappeared. Mr
+Beveridge laughed cheerfully, and taking from under his coat a board with
+the legend "Danger" printed in large characters across its face, he placed
+it beside the jagged hole.
+
+"Here is the picture, doctor," he said, as a dripping, gasping head came
+up for the second time. "I must ask a thousand pardons for this--shall I
+say, liberty? But, as you know, I'm off my head. Good night. Let me
+recommend a hot drink when you come out. There are only five feet of
+water, so you won't drown." And with that he skated rapidly away.
+
+Escott had a glimpse of him vanishing round the corner of the island, and
+then the ice broke again, and down he went. Four, five, six times he made
+a desperate effort to get out, and every time the thin ice tore under his
+hands, and he slipped back again. By the seventh attempt he had broken his
+way to the thicker sheet; he got one leg up, slipped, got it up again, and
+at last, half numbed and wholly breathless, he was crawling circumspectly
+away. When at last he ventured to rise to his feet, he skated with all the
+speed he could make to the seat where he had left his coat. A pair of
+skates lay there instead, but the coat had vanished. Dr Escott's
+philosophical estimate of Mr Beveridge became considerably modified.
+
+"Thank the Lord, he can't get out of the grounds," he said to himself;
+"what a dangerous devil he is! But he'll be sorry for this performance, or
+I'm mistaken."
+
+When he arrived at the house his first inquiries were for his tutor in the
+art of vine-cutting, and he was rather surprised to hear that he had not
+yet returned, for he only imagined himself the victim of a peculiarly
+ill-timed practical joke.
+
+Men with lanterns were sent out to search the park; and still there was no
+sign of Mr Beveridge. Inquiries were made at the lodge, but the gatekeeper
+could swear that only a single carriage had passed through. Dr Congleton
+refused at first to believe that he could possibly have got out.
+
+"Our arrangements are perfect,--the thing's absurd," he said, peremptorily.
+
+"That there man, sir," replied Moggridge, who had been summoned, "is the
+slipperiest customer as ever I seed. 'E's hout, sir, I believe."
+
+"We might at least try the stations," suggested Escott, who had by this
+time changed, and indulged in the hot drink recommended.
+
+The doctor began to be a little shaken.
+
+"Well, well," said he, "I'll send a man to each of the three stations
+within walking distance; and whether he's out or in, we'll have him by
+to-morrow morning. I've always taken care that he had no money in his
+pockets."
+
+But what is a doctor's care against a woman's heart? For many to-morrows
+Clankwood had to lament the loss of the gifted Francis Beveridge.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+At sixteen minutes to five Mr Beveridge stood by the side of the Clankwood
+Avenue, comfortably wrapped in Dr Escort's fur coat, and smoking with the
+greatest relish one of Dr Escott's undeniable cigars.
+
+It was almost dark, the air bit keen, the dim park with its population of
+black trees was filled with a frosty, eager stillness. All round the
+invisible wall hemmed him in, the ten pounds, seventeen shillings, and
+sixpence lay useless in his pocket till that was past, and his one hope
+depended on a woman. But Mr Beveridge was an amateur in the sex, and he
+smiled complacently as he smoked.
+
+He had waited barely three minutes when the quick clatter of a pair of
+horses fell on his ears, and presently the lights of a carriage and pair,
+driving swiftly away from Clankwood, raked the drive on either side. As
+they rattled up to him he gave a shout to the coachman to stop, and
+stepped right in front of the horses. With something that sounded unlike a
+blessing, the pair were thrown almost on their haunches to check them in
+time. Never stopping to explain, he threw open the door and sprang in; the
+coachman, hearing no sound of protest, whipped up again, and Mr Beveridge
+found himself rolling through the park of Clankwood in the Countess of
+Grillyer's carriage with a very timid little figure by his side. Even in
+that moment of triumphant excitement the excellence of his manners was
+remarkable: the first thing he said was, "Do you mind smoking?"
+
+In her confusion of mind Lady Alicia could only reply "Oh no," and not
+till some time afterwards did she remember that the odour of a cigar was
+clinging and the Countess's nose unusually sensitive.
+
+After this first remark he leaned back in silence, gradually filling the
+carriage with a blue-grey cloud, and looking out of the windows first on
+one side and then on the other. They passed quickly through the lines of
+trees and the open spaces of frosty park-land, they drew up at the lodge
+for a moment, he heard his prison gates swing open, the harness jingled
+and the hoofs began to clatter again, a swift vision of lighted windows
+and a man looking on them incuriously swept by, and then they were rolling
+over a country road between hedgerows and under the free stars.
+
+It was the Lady Alicia who spoke first.
+
+"I never thought you would really come," she said.
+
+"I have been waiting for that remark," he replied, with his most
+irresistible smile; "now for some more practical conversation."
+
+As he did not immediately begin this conversation himself, her curiosity
+overcame her, and she asked, "How did you manage to get out?"
+
+"As my friend Dr Escott offered no opposition, I walked away."
+
+"Did he really let you?"
+
+"He never even expostulated."
+
+"Then--then it's all right?" she said, with an inexplicable sensation of
+disappointment.
+
+"Perfectly--so far."
+
+"But--didn't they object?"
+
+"Not yet," he replied; "objections to my movements are generally made
+after they have been performed."
+
+Somehow she felt immensely relieved at this hint of opposition.
+
+"I'm so glad you got away," she whispered, and then repented in a flutter.
+
+"Not more so than I am," he answered, pressing her hand.
+
+"And now," he added, "I should like to know how near Ashditch Junction you
+propose to take me."
+
+"Where are you going to, Mr Beveridge?"
+
+The "Mr Beveridge" was thrown in as a corrective to the hand-pressure.
+
+"To London; where else, my Alicia? With �10, 17s. 6d. in my pocket, I
+shall be able to eat at least three good dinners, and, by the third of
+them, if I haven't fallen on my feet it will be the first time I have
+descended so unluckily."
+
+"But," she asked, considerably disconcerted, "I thought you were going
+back to your parish."
+
+For a moment he too seemed a trifle put about. Then he replied readily,
+"So I am, as soon as I have purchased the necessary outfit, restocked my
+ecclesiastical library, and called on my bishop."
+
+She felt greatly relieved at this justification of her share in the
+adventure.
+
+"Drop me at the nearest point to the station," he said.
+
+"I am afraid," she began--"I mean I think you had better get out soon. The
+first road on the right will take you straight there, and we had better
+not pass it."
+
+"Then I must bid you farewell," and he sighed most effectively. "Farewell,
+my benefactress, my dear Alicia! Shall I ever see you, shall I ever hear
+of you again?"
+
+"I might--I might just write once; if you will answer it: I mean if you
+would care to hear from such a----"
+
+She found it difficult to finish, and prudently stopped.
+
+"Thanks," he replied cheerfully; "do,--I shall live in hopes. I'd better
+stop the carriage now."
+
+He let down the window, when she said hastily, "But I don't know your
+address."
+
+He reflected for an instant. "Care of the Archbishop of York will always
+find me," he replied; and as if unwilling to let his emotion be observed,
+he immediately put his head out of the window and called on the coachman
+to stop.
+
+"Good-bye," he whispered, tenderly, squeezing her fingers with one hand
+and opening the door with the other.
+
+"Don't quite forget me," she whispered back.
+
+"Never!" he replied, and was in the act of getting out when he suddenly
+turned, and exclaimed, "I must be more out of practice than I thought; I
+had almost forgotten the protested salute."
+
+And without further preamble the Lady Alicia found herself kissed at last.
+
+He jumped out and shut the door, and the carriage with its faint halo
+clattered into the darkness.
+
+"They are wonderfully alike," he reflected.
+
+About twenty minutes later he walked leisurely into Ashditch Junction, and
+having singled out the station-master, he accosted him with an air of
+beneficient consideration and inquired how soon he could catch a train for
+London.
+
+It appeared that the up express was not due for nearly three-quarters of
+an hour.
+
+"A little too long to wait," he said to himself, as he turned up the
+collar of his purloined fur coat to keep out the cold, and picked another
+cigar from its rightful owner's case.
+
+By way of further defying the temperature and cementing his acquaintance
+with the station-master, he offered to regale that gratified official with
+such refreshments as the station bar provided. In the consumption of
+whiskies-and-sodas (a beverage difficult to obtain in any quantity at
+Clankwood) Mr Beveridge showed himself as accomplished as in every other
+feat. In thirty-five minutes he had despatched no fewer than six, besides
+completely winning the station-master's heart. As he had little more than
+five minutes now to wait, he bade a genial farewell to the lady behind the
+bar, and started to purchase his ticket.
+
+Hardly had he left the door of the refreshment-room when he perceived an
+uncomfortably familiar figure just arrived, breathless with running, on
+the opposite platform. The light of a lamp fell on his shining face: it
+was Moggridge!
+
+A stout heart might be forgiven for sinking at the sight, but Mr Beveridge
+merely turned to his now firm friends and said with his easiest air, "On
+the opposite platform I perceive one of my runaway lunatics. Bring a
+couple of stout porters as quickly as you can, for he is a person of much
+strength and address. My name," he drew a card-case from the pocket of his
+fur coat, "is, as you see, Dr Escott of Clankwood."
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge, after hurriedly investigating the platform he was on,
+suddenly spied a tall fur-coated figure on the opposite side. Without a
+moment's hesitation he sprang on to the rails, and had just mounted the
+other side as the station-master and two porters appeared.
+
+Seeing his allies by his side Mr Beveridge never said a word, but,
+throwing off his hat, he lowered his head, charged his keeper, and picking
+him up by the knees threw him heavily on his back. Before he had a chance
+of recovering himself the other three were seated on his chest employed in
+winding a coil of rope round and round his prostrate form.
+
+Two minutes later Moggridge was sitting bound hand and foot in the booking
+office, addressing an amused audience in a strain of perhaps excusable
+exasperation, which however merely served to impress the Ashditch
+officials with a growing sense of their address in capturing so dangerous
+a lunatic. In the middle of this entertaining scene the London express
+steamed in, and Mr Beveridge, courteously thanking the station-master for
+his assistance, stepped into a first-class carriage.
+
+"I should be much obliged," he said, leaning on the door of his
+compartment and blowing the smoke of Dr Escott's last Havannah lightly
+from his lips, "if you would be kind enough to keep that poor fellow in
+the station till to-morrow. It is rather too late to send him back now.
+Good night, and many thanks."
+
+He pressed a coin into the station-master's hand, which that disappointed
+official only discovered on emptying his pockets at night to be an
+ordinary sixpence, the guard whistled, and one by one, smoothly and slowly
+and then in a bright stream, the station lamps slipped by. The last of
+them flitted into the night, and the train swung and rattled by a mile a
+minute nearer to London town and farther from the high stone wall. There
+was no other stop, and for a long hour the adventurer sat with his legs
+luxuriously stretched along the cushions looking out into a fainter
+duplicate of his carriage, pierced now and then by the glitter of brighter
+points as they whisked by some wayside village, or crossed by the black
+shadows of trees. The whole time he smiled contentedly, doubtless at the
+prospect of his parish work. All at once he seemed stirred, and, turning
+in his seat, laid his face upon the window, and pulled down the blind
+behind his head, so that he could see into the night. He had spied the
+first bright filaments of London. Quickly they spread into a twinkling
+network, and then as quickly were shut out by the first line of suburb
+houses; through the gaps they grew nearer and flared cheerfully; the train
+hooted over an archway, and in the road below he had a glimpse of shop
+windows and crowded pavements and moving omnibuses: he was in the world
+again, and at the foretaste of all this life he laughed like a delighted
+child. Last of all came the spread of shining rails and the red and yellow
+lights of many signals, and then the high glass roof and long lamp-lit
+platforms of St Euston's Cross.
+
+Unencumbered by luggage or plans, Mr Francis Beveridge stuck his hands
+deep in his pockets and strolled aimlessly enough out of the station into
+the tideway of the Euston Road. For a little he stood stock-still on the
+pavement watching the throng of people and the perpetual buses and drays
+and the jingling hansoms picking their way through it all.
+
+"For a man of brains," he moralised, "even though he be certified as
+insane, for probably the best of reasons, this London has surely fools
+enough to provide him with all he needs and more than he deserves. I shall
+set out with my lantern like a second Diogenes to look for a foolish man."
+
+And so he strolled along again to the first opening southwards. That led
+him through a region of dingy enough brick by day, but decked now with its
+string of lamps and bright shop-windows here and there, and kept alive by
+passing buses and cabs going and coming from the station. Farther on the
+street grew gloomier, and a dark square with a grove of trees in the
+middle opened off one side; but, rattle or quiet, flaring shops or
+sad-looking lodgings, he found it all too fresh and amusing to hurry.
+
+"Back to my parish again," he said to himself, smiling broadly at the
+drollery of the idea. "If I'm caught to-morrow, I'll at least have one
+merry night in my wicked, humorous old charge."
+
+He reached Holborn and turned west in the happiest and most enviable of
+moods; the very policemen seemed to cast a friendly eye on him; the frosty
+air, he thought, made the lights burn brighter and the crowd move more
+briskly than ever he had seen them. Suddenly the sight of a hairdresser's
+saloon brought an inspiration. He stroked his beard, twisted his
+moustaches half regretfully, and then exclaiming, "Exit Mr Beveridge,"
+turned into the shop.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART II.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolf von Blitzenberg sat by himself at a table in the
+dining-room of the H�tel Mayonaise, which, as everybody knows, is the
+largest and most expensive in London. He was a young man of a florid and
+burly Teutonic type and the most ingenuous countenance. Being possessed of
+a curious and enterprising disposition, as well as the most ample means,
+he had left his ancestral castle in Bavaria to study for a few months the
+customs and politics of England. In the language he was already
+proficient, and he had promised himself an amusing as well as an
+instructive visit. But, although he had only arrived in London that
+morning, he was already beginning to feel an uncomfortable apprehension
+lest in both respects he should be disappointed. Though his introductions
+were the best with which the British Ambassador could supply him, they
+were only three or four in number,--for, not wishing to be hampered with
+too many acquaintances, he had rather chosen quality than quantity: and
+now, in the course of the afternoon, he had found to his chagrin that in
+every case the families were out of town. In fact, so far as he could
+learn, they were not even at their own country seats. One was abroad,
+another gone to the seaside to recover from the mumps, or a third paying a
+round of visits.
+
+The disappointment was sharp, he felt utterly at sea as to what he should
+do, and he was already beginning to experience the loneliness of a single
+mortal in a crowded hotel.
+
+As the frosty evening was setting in and the shops were being lit, he had
+strolled out into the streets in the vague hope of meeting some strange
+foreign adventure, or perhaps even happily lighting upon some
+half-forgotten diplomatic acquaintance. But he found the pavements crowded
+with a throng who took no notice of him at all, but seemed every man and
+most women of them to be pushing steadily, and generally silently, towards
+a million mysterious goals. Not that he could tell they were silent except
+by their set lips, for the noise of wheels and horses on so many hundreds
+of miles of streets, and the cries of busmen and vendors of evening
+papers, made such a hubbub that he felt before long in a maze. He lost his
+way four times, and was patronisingly set right by beneficent policemen;
+and at last, feeling like a man who has fallen off a precipice on to a
+soft place--none the worse but quite bewildered--he struggled back to his
+hotel. There he spun out his time by watching the people come and go, and
+at last dressed with extra deliberation.
+
+About eight o'clock he sat down to his solitary dinner. The great gilt and
+panelled room was full of diners and bustling waiters, but there was not a
+face the Baron had ever seen before. He was just finishing a plate of
+whitebait when he observed a stranger enter the room and stroll in a very
+self-possessed manner down the middle, glancing at the tables round him as
+though he was looking either for a friend or a desirable seat. This
+gentleman was tall, fair, and clean-shaved; he was dressed in a suit of
+well-fitting tweeds, and his air impressed the Baron as being natural and
+yet distinguished. At last his eye fell upon the Baron, who felt conscious
+of undergoing a quick, critical scrutiny. The table at which that nobleman
+sat was laid for two, and coming apparently to a sudden resolution, the
+good-looking stranger seated himself in the vacant chair. In an agreeable
+voice and with an unmistakably well-bred air he asked a waiter for the
+wine-list, and then, like a man with an excellent appetite, fell to upon
+the various _hors d'oeuvres_, the entire collection of which, in fact, he
+consumed in a wonderfully short space of time. The Baron, being himself no
+trifler with his victuals, regarded this feat with sympathetic approval,
+and began to feel a little less alone in the world. His naturally open
+disposition was warmed besides, owing to a slight misconception he had
+fallen into, perfectly excusable however in a foreigner. He thought he had
+read somewhere that port was the usual accompaniment to the first courses
+of an English dinner, and as his waiter had been somewhat dilatory in
+bringing him the more substantial items of the repast, he had already
+drunk three claret-glasses of this cheering wine. The chill recollections
+of his sixteen quarterings and the exclusiveness he had determined to
+maintain as becoming to his rank were already melting, and he met the
+stranger's eye with what for the life of him he could not help being a
+cordial look.
+
+His _vis-�-vis_ caught the glance, smiled back, and immediately asked,
+with the most charming politeness, "Do you care, sir, to split a bottle of
+champagne?"
+
+"To--er--_shplid?_" said the Baron, with a disappointed consciousness of
+having been put at a loss in his English by the very first man who had
+spoken to him.
+
+"I beg your pardon,--I am afraid I was unintelligibly idiomatic. To divide,
+I should say, you consuming one-half, I the other. Am I clear, sir?"
+
+For a moment the Baron was a little taken aback, and then recollecting
+that the dining habits of the English were still new to him, he concluded
+that the suggestion was probably a customary act of courtesy. He had
+already come to the conclusion that the gentleman must be a person of
+rank, and he replied affably, "Yah--zat is, vid pleasure. Zanks, very."
+
+"The pleasure is mine," said the stranger--"and half the bottle," he added,
+smiling.
+
+The Baron, whose perception of humour had been abnormally increased by
+this time, laughed hilariously at the infection of his new acquaintance's
+smile.
+
+"Goot, goot!" he cried. "Ach, yah, zo."
+
+"Am I right, sir, in supposing that, despite the perfection of your
+English accent, I cannot be fortunate enough to claim you as a
+countryman?" asked the stranger.
+
+The Baron's resolutions of reticence had vanished altogether before such
+unexpected and (he could not but think) un-English friendliness. He
+unburdened his heart with a rush.
+
+"You have ze right. I am Deutsch. I have gom to England zis day for to
+lairn and to amuse myself. But mein, vat you call?--introdogtions zey are
+not inside, zat is zey are from off. Not von, all, every single gone to ze
+gontry or to abroad. I am alone, I eat my dinner in zolitude, I am pleased
+to meet you, sare."
+
+A cork popped and the champagne frothed into the stranger's glass. Raising
+it to his lips, he said, "Prosit!"
+
+"Prosit!" responded the Baron, enthusiastically. "You know ze Deutsch,
+sare?"
+
+"I am safer in English, I confess."
+
+"Ach, das ist goot, I vant for to practeese. Ve vill talk English."
+
+"With all my heart," said the stranger. "I, too, am alone, and I hold
+myself more than fortunate in making your acquaintance. It's a devilish
+dull world when one can't share a bottle--or a brace of them, for the
+matter of that."
+
+"You know London?" asked the Baron.
+
+"I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive."
+
+"I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom, as I say, to-day."
+
+"With pleasure," said the stranger, readily. "In fact, if you are ever
+disengaged I may possibly be able to act as showman."
+
+"Showman!" roared the Baron, thinking he had discovered a jest. "Ha, ha,
+ha! Goot, zehr goot!"
+
+The other looked a trifle astonished for an instant, and then as he sipped
+his champagne an expression of intense satisfaction came over his face.
+
+"I can put away my lantern," he said to himself,--"I have found him."
+
+"May I have the boldness to ask your name, sir?" he asked aloud.
+
+"Ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg," that nobleman replied. "Yours,
+sare--may I dare?"
+
+"Francis Bunker, at your service, Baron."
+
+"You are noble?" queried the Baron a little anxiously, for his prejudices
+on this point were strong.
+
+"According to your standard I believe I may say so. That's to say, my
+family have borne arms for two hundred odd generations; twenty-five per
+cent of them have died of good living; and the most malicious have never
+accused us of brains. I myself may not be very typical, but I assure you
+it isn't my ancestors' fault."
+
+The latter part of this explanation entirely puzzled the Baron. The first
+statement, though eminently satisfactory, was also a little bewildering.
+
+"Two hondred generations?" he asked, courteously. "Zat is a vary old
+family. All bore arms you say, Mistair Bonker?"
+
+"All," replied Mr Bunker, gravely. "The first few bore tails as well."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron. "You are a fonny man I pairceive, vat you
+call clown, yes?"
+
+"What my friends call clown, and I call wit," Mr Bunker corrected.
+
+"Vit! Ha, ha, ha!" roared the Baron, whose mind was now in an El Dorado of
+humour when jokes grew like daisies. His loneliness had disappeared as if
+by magic; as course succeeded course his contentment showed itself in a
+perpetually beaming smile: he ceased to worry even about his friend's
+pedigree, convinced in his mind that manners so delightful and
+distinguished could only result from repeated quarterings and unoccupied
+forefathers. Yet by the time dessert arrived and he had again returned to
+his port, he began to feel an extreme curiosity to know more concerning Mr
+Bunker. He himself had volunteered a large quantity of miscellaneous
+information: about Bavaria, its customs and its people, more especially
+the habits and history of the Blitzenberg family; about himself, his
+parentage and education; all about his family ghost, his official position
+as hereditary carpet-beater to the Bavarian Court, and many other things
+equally entertaining and instructive. Mr Bunker, for his part, had so far
+confined his confidences to his name.
+
+"My dear Bonker," said the Baron at last--he had become quite familiar by
+this time--"vat make you in London? I fear you are bird of passage. Do you
+stay long?"
+
+Mr Bunker cracked a nut, looking very serious; then he leant on one elbow,
+glanced up at the ceiling pensively, and sighed.
+
+"I hope I do not ask vat I should not," the Baron interposed, courteously.
+
+"My dear Baron, ask what you like," replied Mr Bunker. "In a city full of
+strangers, or of friends who have forgotten me, you alone have my
+confidence. My story is a common one of youthful folly and present
+repentance, but such as it is, you are welcome to it."
+
+The Baron gulped down half a glass of port and leaned forward
+sympathetically.
+
+"My father," Mr Bunker continued with an air of half-sad reminiscence, "is
+one of the largest landowners and the head of one of the most ancient
+families in the north of England. I was his eldest son and heir. I am
+still, I have every reason to believe, his eldest son, but my heirship, I
+regret to say, is more doubtful. I spent a prodigal youth and a larger sum
+of money than my poor father approved of. He was a strict though a kind
+parent, and for the good of my health and the replenishment of the family
+coffers, which had been sadly drained by my extravagance, he sent me
+abroad. There I have led a roving life for the last six years, and at
+last, my wild oats sown, reaped, and gathered in (and a well-filled
+stackyard they made, I can assure you), I decided to return to England and
+become an ornament to respectable society. Like you, I arrived in London
+to-day, but only to find to my disgust that my family have gone to winter
+in Egypt. So you see that at present I am like a shipwrecked sailor
+clinging to a rock and waiting, with what patience I can muster, for a
+boat to take me off."
+
+"You mean," inquired the Baron, anxiously, "that you vish to go to Egypt
+at vonce?"
+
+"I had thought of it; though there is a difficulty in the way, I admit."
+
+"You vill not stay zen here?" "My dear Baron, why should I? I have neither
+friends nor----"
+
+He stopped abruptly.
+
+"I do not like to zink I shall lose your company so soon."
+
+"I admit," allowed Mr Bunker, "that this fortunate meeting tempts me to
+stay."
+
+"Vy not?" said the Baron, cordially. "Can your fader not vait to see you?"
+
+"I hardly think he will worry about me, I confess."
+
+"Zen stay, my goot Bonker!"
+
+"Unfortunately there is the same difficulty as stands in the way of my
+going to Egypt."
+
+"And may I inquire vat zat is?"
+
+"To tell you the truth," replied Mr Bunker, with an air of reluctant
+candour, "my funds are rather low. I had trusted to finding my father at
+home, but as he isn't, why----" he shrugged his shoulders and threw himself
+back in his chair.
+
+The Baron seemed struck with an idea which he hesitated to express.
+
+"Shall we smoke?" his friend suggested.
+
+"Vaiter!" cried the Baron, "bring here two best cigars and two coffee!"
+
+"A liqueur, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, yah. Vat for you?"
+
+"A liqueur brandy suggests itself."
+
+"Vaiter! and two brandy."
+
+"And now," said the Baron, "I haf an idea, Bonker."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, as I have said, had a warm heart. He
+was, besides, alone in one hundred and twenty square miles of strangers
+and foreigners when he had happened upon this congenial spirit. He began
+in a tone of the most ingenuous friendliness--
+
+"I haf no friends here. My introdogtions zey are gone. Bot I haf moch
+money, and I vish a, vat you say?--showman, ha, ha, ha! You haf too leetle
+money and no friends and you can show. You show and I will loan you vat
+you vish. May I dare to suggest?"
+
+"My dear Baron!"
+
+"My goot Bonker! I am in airnest, I assure. Vy not? It is vun gentleman
+and anozzer."
+
+"You are far too kind."
+
+"It is to myself I am kind, zen. I vant a guide, a frient. It is a loan.
+Do not scruple. Ven your fader goms you can pay if you please. It is
+nozing to me."
+
+"Well, my dear Baron," said Mr Bunker, like a man persuaded against his
+will, "what can I say? I confess I might find a little difficulty in
+replenishing my purse without resorting to disagreeable means, and if you
+really wish my society, why----"
+
+"Zen it is a bairgain?" cried the Baron.
+
+"If you insist----"
+
+"I insist. Vaiter! Alzo two ozzer liqueur. Ve most drink to ze bairgain,
+Bonker."
+
+They pledged each other cordially, and talked from that moment like old
+friends. The Baron was thoroughly pleased with himself, and Mr Bunker
+seemed no less gratified at his own good fortune. Half an hour went
+quickly by, and then the Baron exclaimed, "Let us do zomzing to-night,
+Bonker. I burn for to begin zis show of London."
+
+"What would you care to do, Baron? It is rather late, I am afraid, to
+think of a theatre. What do you say to a music-hall?"
+
+"Music-hall? I haf seen zem at home. Damned amusing, das ist ze
+expression, yes?"
+
+"It is a perfect description."
+
+"Bot," continued the Baron, solemnly, "I must not begin vid ze vickedest."
+
+"And yet," replied his friend, persuasively, "even wickedness needs a
+beginning."
+
+"Bot, if I begin I may not stop. Zomzing more qviet ze first night. Haf
+you a club?"
+
+Mr Bunker pondered for a moment, and a curious smile stole across his
+face. Then it vanished, and he answered readily, "Certainly, Baron, an
+excellent idea. I haven't been to my club for so long that it never struck
+me. Let us come."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron, rising with alacrity.
+
+They put on their coats (Mr Bunker's, it may be remarked, being a handsome
+fur-lined garment), the porter hailed a cab, and the driver was ordered to
+take them to the Regent's Club in Pall Mall. The Baron knew it by
+reputation as the most exclusive in London, and his opinion of his friend
+rose still higher.
+
+They joined a jingling string of other hansoms and sped swiftly through
+the exhilarating bustle of the streets. To the Baron it seemed as if a
+great change had come over the city since he wandered disconsolately
+before dinner. Carried swiftly to the music of the little bells through
+the sharp air and the London night that is brighter than day, with a
+friend by his side and a good dinner within, he marked the most
+astonishing difference. All the people seemed to talk and laugh, and for
+his own part he found it hard to keep his tongue still.
+
+"I know ze name of ze Regent's," he said; "vun club of ze best, is it
+not?"
+
+"The very best club, Baron."
+
+"Zey are all noble?"
+
+"In many cases the receipts for their escutcheons are still in their
+pockets."
+
+Though the precise significance of this explanation was not quite clear to
+the Baron, it sounded eminently satisfactory.
+
+"Zo?" he said. "I shall be moch interested to see zem."
+
+As they entered the club the porter stared at them curiously, and even
+made a movement as though he would step out and address them; but Mr
+Bunker, wishing him a courteous good evening, walked briskly up to the
+hat-and-cloak racks in the hall. A young man had just hung up his hat, and
+as he was divesting himself of his coat, Mr Bunker quickly took the hat
+down, glanced at the name inside, and replaced it on its peg. Then he held
+out his hand and addressed the young man cordially.
+
+"Good evening, Transome, how are you?" said he, and, heedless of the look
+of surprise on the other's face, he turned towards the Baron and added,
+"Let me introduce the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg--Mr Transome. The Baron
+has just come to England, and I thought he couldn't begin better than by a
+visit to the Regent's. Let us come into the smoking-room."
+
+In a few minutes they were all on the best of terms. A certain perplexity,
+and almost shyness, that the young man showed at first, vanished rapidly
+before the Baron's cordiality and Mr Bunker's well-bred charm of manner.
+
+They were deeply engrossed in a discussion on the reigning sovereign of
+the Baron's native land, a monarch of whose enlightened policy that
+nobleman spoke with pardonable pride, when two elderly gentlemen entered
+the room.
+
+"Who are these?" Mr Bunker whispered to Transome. "I know them very well,
+but I am always bad at names."
+
+"Lord Fabrigas and General M'Dermott," replied Transome.
+
+Instantly Mr Bunker rose and greeted the new-comers.
+
+"Good evening, Lord Fabrigas; good evening, General. You have just come in
+time to be introduced to the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, whom you
+doubtless know by reputation."
+
+The Baron rose and bowed, and it struck him that elderly English gentlemen
+were singularly stiff and constrained in their manner. Mr Bunker, however,
+continued cheerfully, "We are just going to have a smoking concert. Will
+you begin, Baron?"
+
+"I know not English songs," replied the Baron, "bot I should like moch to
+hear."
+
+"You must join in the chorus, then."
+
+"Certainly, Bonker. I haf a voice zat is considered--vat you
+call--deafening, yes?--in ze chorus."
+
+Mr Bunker cleared his throat, and, just as the General was on the point of
+interposing a remark, struck up hastily; and for the first time in its
+long and honourable history the smoking-room of the Regent's Club reechoed
+to a popular music-hall ditty.
+
+
+    "They sometimes call 'em duckies, they sometimes call 'em pets,
+      And sometimes they refer to 'em as dears
+    They live on little matters that a gentleman forgets,
+      In a little world of giggles and of tears;
+    There are different varieties from which a man may choose,
+      There are sorts and shapes and sizes without end,
+    But the kind I'd pick myself is the kind you introduce
+      By the simple title of 'my lady friend.' "
+
+
+"Chorus, Baron!" And then he trolled in waltz time this edifying refrain--
+
+
+    "My lady friend, my lady friend!
+          Can't you twig, dear boys,
+        From the sound of the kisses
+      She isn't my misses,
+    She's only my lady friend!"
+
+
+In a voice like a train going over a bridge the Baron chimed in--
+
+
+    "My laty vrient, my laty vrient!
+          Cannot you tvig, mine boy,
+        Vrom ze sound of ze kiss,
+      He is not my miss,
+    He is only mine laty vrient!"
+
+
+"I am afraid," said Mr Bunker, as they finished the chorus, "that I can't
+remember any more. Now, General, it's your turn."
+
+"Sir," replied that gallant officer, who had listened to this ditty in
+purple and petrified astonishment, "I don't know who the devil you are,
+but I can tell you, you won't remain a member of this club much longer if
+you come into it again in this state."
+
+"I had forgotten," said Mr Bunker, with even more than his usual
+politeness, "that such an admirable music-hall critic was listening to me.
+I must apologise for my poor effort."
+
+Wishing him courteously good-night, he took the Baron by the arm and
+walked out. While that somewhat perplexed nobleman was struggling into his
+coat, his friend rapidly and dexterously converted all the silk hats he
+could see into the condition of collapsed opera hats, and then picked a
+small hand-bag off the floor. The Baron walked out through the door first,
+but Mr Bunker stopped for an instant opposite the hall-porter's box, and
+crying, "Good night to you, sir!" hurled the bag through the glass, rushed
+after his friend, and in less time than it takes to tell they were tearing
+up Pall Mall in a hansom.
+
+For a few minutes both were silent; then the Baron said slowly, "I do not
+qvite onderstand."
+
+"My dear Baron," his friend explained gaily, "these practical jokes are
+very common in our clubs. They are quite part of our national life, you
+know, and I thought you ought to see everything."
+
+The Baron said nothing, but he began to realise that he was indeed in a
+foreign country.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+"Vell, Bonker, vat show to-day?" said the Baron.
+
+Mr Bunker sipped his coffee and smiled back at his friend.
+
+"What would you like?" said he.
+
+They were sitting in the Baron's private room finishing one of the
+renowned H�tel Mayonaise breakfasts. Out of the windows they could see the
+bright curving river, the bare tops of the Embankment trees, a file of
+barges drifting with the tide, and cold-looking clouds hurrying over the
+chaos of brick on the opposite shore. It was a bright breezy morning, and
+the Baron felt in high good-humour with his surroundings. On maturer
+consideration, the entertaining experience of the night before had greatly
+raised Mr Bunker in his estimation. He had chuckled his way through a
+substantial breakfast, and in such good company felt ready for any
+adventure that might turn up.
+
+He lit a cigar, pushed back his chair, and replied blandly, "I am in your
+hands. I am ready to enjoy anyzing."
+
+"Do you wish instruction or entertainment?"
+
+"Mix zem, Bonker. Entertain by instrogtion; instrogt by entertaining."
+
+"You are epigrammatic, Baron, but devilish vague. I presume, however, that
+you wish entertaining experience from which a man of your philosophical
+temperament can draw a moral--afterwards."
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed the Baron. "Excellent! You provide ze experiences--I draw
+ze moral."
+
+"And we share the entertainment. The theory is perfect, but I'm afraid we
+need a programme. Now, on my own first visit to London I remember being
+taken--by the hand--to Madame Tussaud's Waxworks, the Tower, St Paul's
+Cathedral, the fishmarket at Billingsgate, the British Museum, and a
+number of other damnably edifying spectacles. You might naturally suppose
+that after such a round it would be quite superfluous for me ever to come
+up to town again. Yet, surprising as it may appear, most of the knowledge
+of London I hope to put at your disposal has been gained in the course of
+subsequent visits."
+
+"Bot zese places--Tousaud, Tower, Paul's--are zey not instrogtif?"
+
+"If you wish to learn that a great number of years ago a vast quantity of
+inconsequent events occurred, or that in an otherwise amusing enough world
+there are here and there collected so many roomfuls of cheerless articles,
+I can strongly recommend a visit to the Tower of London or the British
+Museum."
+
+"In mine own gontry," said the Baron, thoughtfully, "I can lairn zo moch."
+
+"Then, my dear Baron, while you are here forget it all."
+
+"And yet," said the Baron, still thoughtfully, "somzing I should lairn
+here."
+
+"Certainly; you will learn something of what goes on underneath a
+waistcoat and a little of the contents of a corset and petticoat. Also of
+the strange customs of this city and the excellence of British
+institutions."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron, who thought that if his friend had not
+actually made a jest, it was at least time for one to occur. "I see, I
+see. I draw ze moral, ha, ha!"
+
+"This morning," Mr Bunker continued, reflectively, "we might--let me
+see--well, we might do a little shopping. To tell you the truth, Baron, my
+South African experiences have somewhat exhausted my wardrobe."
+
+"Ach, zo. Cairtainly ve vill shop. Bot, Bonker, Soud Africa? Vas it not
+Soud America?"
+
+"Did I say Africa? America of course I meant. Well, let us shop if you
+have no objections: then we might have a little lunch, and afterwards
+visit the Park. For the evening, what do you say to a theatre?"
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron. "Make it tzos."
+
+Mr Bunker's shopping turned out to be a pretty extensive operation.
+
+"Loan vat you please of money," said his friend. "A gentleman should be
+dressed in agreement."
+
+With now and then an apology for his extravagance, he took full advantage
+of the Baron's generosity, and ordered such an assortment of garments that
+his tailor could hardly bow low enough to express his gratification.
+
+After an excellent lunch in the most expensive restaurant to be found,
+they walked arm-in-arm westwards along Piccadilly, Mr Bunker pointing out
+the various objects of historical or ephemeral interest to be seen in that
+thoroughfare, the Baron drinking in this information with the serious air
+of the distinguished traveller.
+
+"And now we come to the Park," said Mr Bunker. "Guard your heart, Baron."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" replied the Baron. "Zo instrogtion is feenished, and now
+goms entertainment, ha?"
+
+"With the moral always running through it, remember."
+
+"I shall not forget."
+
+The sunshine had brought out a great many carriages and a sprinkling of
+walkers along the railings. The two friends strolled among them, eyeing
+the women and stopping now and then to look back at a carriage.
+
+"I suppose," said the Baron, "zat vile you haf been avay your frients have
+forgot you."
+
+As he spoke a young man looked hard at Mr Bunker, and even made a movement
+as though he would stop and speak to him. Mr Bunker looked blandly through
+him and walked on.
+
+"Do you not know zat gentleman?"
+
+"Which gentleman?"
+
+"Ze young man zat looked so at you."
+
+"Some young men have a way of staring here, Baron."
+
+A few minutes later a lady in a passing carriage looked round sharply at
+them with an air of great surprise, and half bowed.
+
+"Surely," exclaimed the Baron, "zat vas a frient of yours!"
+
+"I am not a friend of hers, then," Mr Bunker replied with a laugh. "Her
+bow I think must have been aimed at you."
+
+The Baron shook his head, and seemed to be drawing a moral.
+
+"Baron," his friend exclaimed, suddenly, "let us go back; here comes one
+of our most popular phenomena, a London fog. We need not stay in the Park
+to observe it."
+
+The sun was already obscured; there stole a most insidious chill through
+the air; like the changing of a scene on the stage they found themselves
+in a few minutes walking in a little ring of trees and road and iron
+railings instead of a wide sunny park; the roar of the streets came from
+behind a wall of mist that opened mysteriously to let a phantom carriage
+in and out, and closed silently behind it again.
+
+"I like not zis," said the Baron, with a shiver.
+
+By the time they had found Piccadilly again there was nothing at all to be
+seen but the light of the nearest lamp, as large and far away as a
+struggling sun, and the shadowy people who flitted by.
+
+Their talk ceased. The Baron turned up his collar and sucked his cigar
+lugubriously, and Mr Bunker seemed unusually thoughtful. They had walked
+nearly as far as Piccadilly Circus when they were pulled up by a cab
+turning down a side-street. There was a lamp-post at the corner, and under
+it stood a burly man, his red face quite visible as they came up to his
+shoulder.
+
+In an instant Mr Bunker seized the Baron by the arm, pulled him round, and
+began to walk hastily back again.
+
+"Vat for zis?" said the Baron, in great astonishment.
+
+"We have come too far, thanks to this infernal fog. We must cross the
+street and take the first turning on the other side. I must apologise,
+Baron, for my absence of mind."
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+The cab passed by and the red-faced man strolled on.
+
+"Like lookin' for a needle in a bloomin' haystack," he said to himself. "I
+might as well go back to Clankwood. 'E's a good riddance, I say."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed their dinner with the relish of
+approving connoisseurs. Mr Bunker commended the hock, and suggested a
+second bottle; the Baron praised the _entr�es_, and insisted on another
+helping. The frequent laughter arising from their table excited general
+remark throughout the room, and already the waiters were whispering to the
+other guests that this was a German nobleman of royal blood engaged in a
+diplomatic mission of importance, and his friend a ducal member of the
+English Cabinet, at present, for reasons of state, incognito.
+
+"Bonker!" exclaimed the Baron, "I am in zat frame of head I vant a
+romance, an adventure" (lowering his voice a little), "mit a beautiful
+lady, Bonker."
+
+"It must be a romance, Baron?"
+
+"A novel, a story to tell to mine frients. In a strange city man expects
+strange zings."
+
+"Well, I'll do my best for you, but I confess the provision of romantic
+adventures is a little outside the programme we've arranged."
+
+"Ha, ha! Ve shall see, ve shall see, Bonker!"
+
+They arrived at the Corinthian Theatre about the middle of the first act,
+for, as Mr Bunker explained, it is always well to produce a good first
+impression, and few more effective means can be devised than working one's
+way to the middle of a line of stalls with the play already in progress.
+
+Hardly were they seated when the Baron drove his elbow into his friend's
+ribs (draped for the night, it may be remarked, with one of the Baron's
+spare dress-coats) and exclaimed in an excited whisper, "Next to you,
+Bonker! Ach, zehr h�psch!"
+
+Even before this hint Mr Bunker had observed that the lady on the other
+side of him was possessed of exceptional attractions. For a little time he
+studied her out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed that the stall on
+the farther side of her was empty, that she once or twice looked round as
+though she expected somebody, and that she seemed not altogether
+unconscious of her new neighbours. He further observed that her face was
+of a type that is more usually engaged in attack than defence.
+
+Then he whispered, "Would you like to know her?"
+
+"Ach, yah!" replied the Baron, eagerly. "Bot--can you?"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled confidently. A few minutes later he happened to let his
+programme fall into her lap.
+
+"I beg your pardon," he whispered, softly, and glanced into her eyes with
+a smile ready.
+
+His usual discernment had not failed him. She smiled, and instantly he
+produced his.
+
+A little later her opera-glasses happened to slip from her hand, and
+though they only slipped slowly, it was no doubt owing to his ready
+presence of mind that their fall was averted.
+
+This time their fingers happened to touch, and they smiled without an
+apology.
+
+He leant towards her, looking, however, at the play. They shared a laugh
+over a joke that she might have been excused for not understanding;
+presently a criticism of some situation escaped him inadvertently, and she
+smiled again; soon after she gave an exclamation and he answered
+sympathetically, and at the end of the act the curtain came down on an
+acquaintance already begun. As the lights were turned up, and here and
+there men began to go out, she again looked at the entrances in some
+apparent concern, either lest some one should not come in or lest some one
+should.
+
+"He is late," said Mr Bunker, smiling.
+
+She gave a very enticing look of surprise, and consented to smile back
+before she coyly looked away again.
+
+"An erring husband, I presume."
+
+She admitted that it was in fact a husband who had failed her.
+
+"But," she added, "I'm afraid--I mean I expect he'll come in after the next
+act. It's so tiresome of him to disappoint me like this."
+
+Mr Bunker expressed the deepest sympathy with her unfortunate predicament.
+
+"He has his ticket, of course?"
+
+But it seemed that she had both the tickets with her, an arrangement which
+he immediately denounced as likely to lead to difficulties when her
+husband arrived. He further, in the most obliging manner, suggested that
+he should take the ticket for the other seat to the booking office and
+leave instructions for its being given to the gentleman on his arrival.
+The lady gave him a curious little glance that seemed to imply a mixture
+of doubt as to his motives with confidence in his abilities, and then with
+many thanks agreed to his suggestion. Mr Bunker took the ticket and rose
+at once.
+
+"That I may be sure you are in good company while I am away," said he,
+"permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+And the Baron promptly took his vacant seat.
+
+On his return Mr Bunker found his friend wreathed in smiles and engaged in
+the most animated conversation with the lady, and before the last act was
+over, he gathered from such scraps of conversation as reached his ears
+that Rudolph von Blitzenberg had little to learn in one department of a
+nobleman's duties.
+
+"I wonder where my husband can be," the lady whispered.
+
+"Ach, heed him not, fair lady," replied the Baron. "Am I not instead of a
+hosband?"
+
+"I'm afraid you're a very naughty man, Baron."
+
+"Ven I am viz you," the gallant Baron answered, "I forget myself all bot
+your charms."
+
+These advances being made in the most dulcet tones of which the nobleman
+was master, and accompanied by the most enamoured expression, it is not
+surprising that the lady permitted herself to listen to them with perhaps
+too ready an ear. What Mr Bunker's arrangement with the booking clerk had
+been was never quite clear, but certainly the erring husband failed to
+make his appearance at all, and at the last fall of the curtain she was
+easily persuaded to let the Baron escort her home.
+
+"I know I ought not, but if a husband deserts one so faithlessly, what can
+I do?" she said, with a very becoming little shrug of her shoulders and a
+captivating lift of her eyebrows.
+
+"Ah, vat indeed? He desairves not so fair a consort."
+
+"But won't it be troubling you?"
+
+"Trouble? Pleasure and captivation!"
+
+"Excuse me, Baron," said the voice of Mr Bunker at his elbow; "if you will
+wait here at the door I shall send up a cab."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron, "a zouzand zanks!"
+
+"I myself," added Mr Bunker, with a profound bow to the lady, "shall say
+good night now. The best of luck, Baron!"
+
+In a few minutes a hansom drove up, and the Baron, springing in beside his
+charge, told the man to drive to 602 Eaton Square.
+
+"Not too qvickly!" he added, in a stage aside.
+
+They reached Trafalgar Square, matters inside going harmoniously as a
+marriage bell,--almost, in fact, too much suggesting that simile.
+
+"Why are we going down Whitehall?" the lady exclaimed, suddenly.
+
+"I know not," replied the Baron, placidly.
+
+"Ask him where he is going!" she said.
+
+The Baron, as in duty bound, asked, and the reassuring reply, "All right,
+sir," came back through the hole in the roof.
+
+"I seem to know that man's voice," the lady said. "He must have driven me
+before."
+
+"To me all ze English speak ze same," replied the Baron. "All bot you, my
+fairest, viz your sound like a--vat you call?--fiddle, is it?"
+
+Though his charmer had serious misgivings regarding their cabman's
+topographical knowledge, the Baron's company proved so absorbing that it
+was not till they were being rapidly driven over Vauxhall Bridge that she
+at last took alarm. At first the Baron strove to soothe her by the most
+approved Teutonic blandishments, but in time he too began to feel
+concerned, and in a voice like thunder he repeatedly called upon the
+driver to stop. No reply was vouchsafed, and the pace merely grew the more
+reckless.
+
+"Can't you catch the reins?" cried the lady, who had got into a terrible
+fright.
+
+The Baron twice essayed the feat, but each time a heavy blow over the
+knuckles from the butt-end of the whip forced him to desist. The lady
+burst into tears. The Baron swore in five languages alternately, and still
+the cab pursued its headlong career through deserted midnight streets,
+past infrequent policemen and stray belated revellers, on into an unknown
+wilderness of brick.
+
+"Oh, don't let him murder me!" sobbed the lady.
+
+"Haf cheer, fairest; he shall not vile I am viz you! Gott in himmel, ze
+rascal! Parbleu und blood! Goddam! Vait till I catch him, hell and
+blitzen! Haf courage, dear!"
+
+"Oh dear, oh dear!" wailed the lady. "I shall _never_ do it again!"
+
+They must have covered miles, and still the speed never abated, when
+suddenly, as they were rounding a sharp corner, the horse slipped on the
+frost-bound road, and in the twinkling of an eye the Baron and the lady
+were sitting on opposite sides of their fallen steed, and the cabman was
+rubbing his head some yards in front.
+
+"Teufel!" exclaimed the Baron, rising carefully to his feet. "Ach, mine
+dearest vun, art thou hurt?"
+
+The lady was silent for a moment, as though trying to decide, and then she
+burst into hysterical laughter.
+
+"Ach, zo," said the Baron, much relieved, "zen vill I see ze cabman."
+
+That individual was still rubbing his head with a rueful air, and the
+Baron was about to pour forth all his bottled-up indignation, when at the
+sight of the driver's face he started back in blank astonishment.
+
+"Bonker!"
+
+"It is I indeed, my dear Baron," replied that gentleman, politely. "I must
+ask a thousand pardons for causing you this trifling inconvenience. As to
+your friend, I don't know how I am to make my peace with her."
+
+"Bot--bot vat means zis?" gasped the Baron.
+
+"I was merely endeavouring to provide the spice of romance you required,
+besides giving you the opportunity of making the lady's better
+acquaintance. Can I do anything more for you, Baron? And you, my dear
+lady, can I assist you in any way?"
+
+Both, speaking at once and with some heat, gave a decidedly affirmative
+answer.
+
+"Where are we?" asked the lady, who hovered between fright and
+indignation.
+
+Mr Bunker shrugged his shoulders.
+
+"It would be rash to hazard an opinion," he replied.
+
+"Well!" cried the lady, her indignation quite overcoming her fright. "Do
+you mean to say you've brought us here against our wills and probably got
+me into _dreadful_ trouble, and you don't even know where we are?"
+
+Mr Bunker looked up at the heavens with a studious air.
+
+"One _ought_ to be able to tell something of our whereabouts from one of
+those stars," he replied; "but, to tell the truth, I don't quite know
+which. In short, madame, it is not from want of goodwill, but merely
+through ignorance, that I cannot direct you."
+
+The lady turned impatiently to the Baron.
+
+"_You've_ helped to get me into this mess," she said, tartly. "What do you
+propose to do?"
+
+"My fairest----"
+
+"Don't!" she interrupted, stamping her foot on the frosty road, and then
+inconsequently burst into tears. The Baron and Mr Bunker looked at one
+another.
+
+"It is a fine night for a walk, and the cab, I'm afraid, is smashed beyond
+hope of redemption. Give the lady your arm, Baron; we must eventually
+arrive somewhere."
+
+There was really nothing else for it, so leaving the horse and cab to be
+recovered by the first policeman who chanced to pass, they set out on
+foot. At last, after half an hour's ramble through the solitudes of South
+London, a belated cab was hailed and all three got inside. Once on her way
+home, the lady's indignation again gave way to fright.
+
+"What _am_ I to do? What _am_ I to do?" she wailed. "Oh, whatever will my
+husband say?"
+
+In his most confident and irresistible manner Mr Bunker told her he would
+make matters all right for her at whatever cost to himself; and so
+infectious was his assurance, that, when at last they reached Eaton
+Square, she allowed him to come up to the door of number 602. The Baron
+prudently remained in the cab, for, as he explained, "My English, he is
+unsafe."
+
+After a prolonged knocking and ringing the door at length opened, and an
+irascible-looking, middle-aged gentleman appeared, arrayed in a
+dressing-gown.
+
+"Louisa!" he cried. "What the dev--where on earth have you been? The police
+are looking for you all over London. And may I venture to ask who this is
+with you?"
+
+Mr Bunker bowed slightly and raised his hat.
+
+"My dear sir," he said, "we found this lady in a lamentable state of
+intoxication in the Tottenham Court Road, and as I understand you have a
+kind of reversionary interest in her, we have brought her here. As for
+you, sir, your appearance is so unprepossessing that I am unable to remain
+any longer. Good night," and raising his hat again he entered the cab and
+drove off, assuring the Baron that matters were satisfactorily arranged.
+
+"So you have had your adventure, Baron," he added, with a smile.
+
+For a minute or two the Baron was silent. Then he broke into a cheerful
+guffaw, "Ha, ha, ha! You are a fonny devil, Bonker! Ach, bot it vas
+pleasant vile it lasted!"
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+A few days passed in the most entertaining manner. A menu of amusements
+was regularly prepared suitable to a catholic taste, and at every turn the
+Baron was struck by the enterprise and originality of his friend. He had,
+however, a national bent for serious inquiry, and now and then doubts
+crossed his mind whether, with all his moral drawing, he was acquiring
+quite as much solid information as he had set out to gain. This idea grew
+upon him, till one morning, after gazing for some time at the English
+newspaper he always made a point of reading, he suddenly exclaimed,
+"Bonker, I haf a doubt!"
+
+"I have many," replied Mr Bunker; "in fact, I have few positive ideas
+left."
+
+"Bot mine is a particulair doubt. Do I lairn enoff?"
+
+"My own conception of enough learning, Baron, is a thing like a
+threepenny-bit--the smallest coin one can do one's marketing with."
+
+"And yet," said the Baron, solemnly, "for my own share, I am not
+satisfied. I vould lairn more of ze British institutions; so far I haf
+lairned of ze pleasures only."
+
+"My dear Baron, they are the British institutions."
+
+The Baron shook his head and fell to his paper again, while Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the sofa and gazed through his cigar-smoke at the
+ceiling. Suddenly the Baron gave an exclamation of horror.
+
+"My dear Baron, what is the matter?"
+
+"Yet anozer outrage!" cried the Baron. "Zese anarchists, zey are too
+scandalous. At all ze stations zere are detectives, and all ze ships are
+being vatched. Ach, it is terrible!"
+
+Mr Bunker seemed struck with an idea, for he stared at the ceiling without
+making any reply, and his eyes, had the Baron seen them, twinkled
+curiously.
+
+At last the Baron laid down his paper.
+
+"Vell, vat shall ve do?" he asked.
+
+"Let us come first to Liverpool Street Station, if you don't mind, Baron,"
+his friend suggested. "I have something in the cloak-room there I want to
+pick up."
+
+"My dear Bonker, I shall go vere you vill; bot remember I vant to-day more
+instrogtion and less entertainment."
+
+"You wish to see the practical side of English life?"
+
+"Yah--zat is, yes."
+
+Mr Bunker smiled.
+
+"Then I must entertain myself."
+
+As they drove down he was in his wittiest humour, and the Baron, in spite
+of his desire for instruction, was more charmed with his friend than ever.
+
+"Vat fonny zing vill you do next, eh?" he asked, as they walked arm-in-arm
+into the station.
+
+"I am no more the humourist, my dear Baron,--I shall endeavour to edify
+you."
+
+They had arrived at a busy hour, when the platforms were crowded with
+passengers and luggage. A train had just come in, and around it the bustle
+was at its height, and the confusion most bewildering.
+
+"Wait for me here," said Mr Bunker; "I shall be back in a minute."
+
+He started in the direction of the cloak-room, and then, doubling back
+through the crowd, walked down the platform and stopped opposite a
+luggage-van. An old gentleman, beside himself with irritation, was
+struggling with the aid of a porter to collect his luggage, and presently
+he left the pile he had got together and made a rush in the direction of a
+large portmanteau that was just being tumbled out. Instantly Mr Bunker
+picked up a handbag from the heap and walked quickly off with it.
+
+"Here you are, Baron," he said, as he came up to his friend. "I find there
+is something else I must do, so do you mind holding this bag for a few
+minutes? If you will walk up and down in front of the refreshment-rooms
+here, I'll find you more easily. Is it troubling you too much?"
+
+"Not vun bit, Bonker. I am in your sairvice."
+
+He put the bag into the Baron's hand with his pleasantest smile, and
+turned away. Rounding a corner, he came cautiously back again through the
+crowd and stepped up to a policeman.
+
+"Keep your eye on that man, officer," he said, in a low confidential
+voice, and an air of quiet authority, "and put your plain clothes' men on
+his track. I know him for one of the most dangerous anarchists."
+
+The man started and stared hard at the Baron, and presently that
+unconscious nobleman, pacing the platform in growing wonder at Mr Bunker's
+lengthy absence, and looking anxiously round him on all sides, noticed
+with surprise that a number of quietly dressed men, with no apparent
+business in the station, were eyeing him with, it seemed to him, an
+interest that approached suspicion. In time he grew annoyed, he returned
+their glances with his haughtiest and most indignant look, and finally,
+stepping up to one of them, asked in no friendly voice, "Vat for do you
+vatch me?"
+
+The man returned an evasive answer, and passing one of his
+fellow-officers, whispered, "Foreign; I was sure of it."
+
+At last the Baron could stand it no longer, and laying the bag down by the
+door of the refreshment-room, turned hastily away. On the instant Mr
+Bunker, who had watched these proceedings from a safe distance, cried in a
+loud and agonised voice, "Down with your men, sergeant! Down, lie down! It
+will explode in twenty seconds!"
+
+And as he spoke he threw himself flat on his face. So infectious were his
+commanding voice and his note of alarm that one after another, detectives,
+passengers, and porters, cast themselves at full length on the platform.
+The Baron, filled with terror of anarchist plots, was one of the first to
+prostrate himself, and at that there could be no further doubt of the
+imminence of the peril.
+
+The cabs rattled and voices sounded from outside; an engine whistled and
+shunted at a far platform, but never before at that hour of the day had
+Liverpool Street Station been so silent. All held their breath and heard
+their hearts thump as they gazed in horrible fascination at that fatal
+bag, or with closed eyes stumbled through a hasty prayer. Fully a minute
+passed, and the suspense was growing intolerable, when with a loud oath an
+old gentleman rose to his feet and walked briskly up to the bag.
+
+"Have a care, sir! For Heaven's sake have a care!" cried Mr Bunker; but
+the old gentleman merely bent over the terrible object, and, picking it
+up, exclaimed in bewildered wrath, "It's my bag! Who the devil brought it
+here, and what's the meaning of this d--d nonsense?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" roared Mr Bunker; while like sheepish mushrooms the
+people sprang up on all sides.
+
+"My dear sir," said Mr Bunker, coming up to the old gentleman, and raising
+his hat with his most affable air, "permit me to congratulate you on
+recovering your lost property, and allow me further to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+"Baron von damned-humbug!" cried the old gentleman. "Did you take my bag,
+sir? and if so, are you a thief or a lunatic?"
+
+For an instant even Mr Bunker himself seemed a trifle taken aback; then he
+replied politely, "I am not a thief, sir."
+
+"Then what _'ave_ you been doing?" demanded the sergeant.
+
+"Merely demonstrating to my friend the Baron the extraordinary vigilance
+of the English police."
+
+For a time neither the old gentleman nor the sergeant seemed quite capable
+of taking the same view of the episode as Mr Bunker, and, curiously
+enough, the Baron seemed not disinclined to let his friend extricate
+himself as best he could. No one, however, could resist Mr Bunker, and
+before very long he and the Baron were driving up Bishopsgate Street
+together, with the old gentleman's four-wheeler lumbering in front of
+them.
+
+"Well, Baron, are you satisfied with your morning's instruction?" asked
+his friend.
+
+"A German nobleman is not used to be in soch a position," replied the
+Baron, stiffly.
+
+"You must admit, however, that the object-lesson in the detection of
+anarchy was neatly presented."
+
+"I admit nozing of ze kind," said the Baron, stolidly.
+
+For the rest of the drive he sat obdurately silent. He went to his room
+with the mien of an offended man. During lunch he only opened his lips to
+eat.
+
+On his side Mr Bunker maintained a cheerful composure, and seemed not a
+whit put about by his friend's lack of appreciation.
+
+"Anozzer bottle of claret," said the Baron, gruffly, to a waiter.
+
+Mr Bunker let him consume it entirely by himself, awaiting the results
+with patience. Gradually his face relaxed a little, until all at once,
+when the bump in the bottom of the bottle was beginning to appear above
+the wine, the whole room was startled by a stentorian, "Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"My dear Bonker!" cried the Baron, when he had finished laughing, "forgif
+me! I begin for to see ze moral, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron expressed no further wish for instruction, but, instead, he
+began to show a desire for society.
+
+"Doesn't one fool suffice?" his friend asked.
+
+"Ach, yes, my vise fool; ha, ha, ha! Bot sometimes I haf ze craving for
+peoples, museec, dancing--in vun vord, society, Bonker!"
+
+"But this is not the season, Baron. You wouldn't mix with any but the best
+society, would you?"
+
+"Zere are some nobles in town. In my paper I see Lord zis, Duke of zat, in
+London. Pairhaps my introdogtions might be here now."
+
+This suggestion seemed to strike Mr Bunker unfavourably.
+
+"My company is beginning to pall, is it, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, no, dear Bonker! I vould merely go out jost vunce or tvice. Haf you
+no friends now in town?"
+
+An idea seemed to seize Mr Bunker.
+
+"Let me see the paper," he said.
+
+After perusing it carefully for a little, he at last exclaimed in a tone
+of pleased discovery, "Hullo! I see that Lady Tulliwuddle is giving a
+reception and dance to-night. Most of the smart people in town just now
+are sure to be there. Would you care to go, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, surely," said the Baron, eagerly. "Bot haf you been invited,
+Bonker?"
+
+"Oh, I used to have a standing invitation to Lady Tulliwuddle's dances,
+and I'm certain she would be glad to see me again."
+
+"Can you take me?"
+
+"Of course, my dear Baron, she will be honoured."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron. "Ve shall go."
+
+Mr Bunker explained that it was the proper thing to arrive very late, and
+so it was not until after twelve o'clock that they left the H�tel
+Mayonaise for the regions of Belgravia. The Baron, primed with a bottle of
+champagne, and arrayed in a costume which Mr Bunker had assured him was
+the very latest extreme of fashion, and which included a scarlet watered
+silk waistcoat, a pair of white silk socks, and a lavender tie, was in a
+condition of cheerfulness verging closely on hilarity. Mr Bunker, that, as
+he said, he might better serve as a foil to his friend's splendour, went
+more inconspicuously dressed, but was likewise well charged with
+champagne. He too was in his happiest vein, and the vision of the Baron's
+finery appeared to afford him peculiar gratification.
+
+Their hansom stopped in front of a large and gaily lit-up mansion, with an
+awning leading to the door, and a cluster of carriages and footmen by the
+kerbstone. They entered, and having divested themselves of their coats, Mr
+Bunker proposed that they should immediately seek the supper-room.
+
+"Bot should I not be first introduced to mine hostess?" asked the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron! a formal reception of the guests is entirely foreign to
+English etiquette."
+
+"Zo? I did not know zat."
+
+The supper-room was crowded, and having secured a table with some
+difficulty, Mr Bunker entered immediately into conversation with a
+solitary young gentleman who was consuming a plate of oysters. Before they
+had exchanged six sentences the young man had entirely succumbed to Mr
+Bunker's address, aided possibly by the young man's supper.
+
+"Permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, a
+nobleman strange as yet to England, but renowned throughout his native
+land alike for his talents and his lofty position," said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Ach, my good friend," exclaimed the Baron, grasping the young man's hand,
+"das ist Bonker's vat you call nonsense; bot I am delighted, zehr
+delighted, to meet you, and if you gom to Bavaria you most shoot vid me!
+Bravo! Ha!"
+
+From which it may be gathered that the Baron was in a genial humour.
+
+"Who is that girl?" asked Mr Bunker, pointing to an extremely pretty
+damsel just leaving the room.
+
+"Oh, that's my cousin, Lady Muriel Hilton. She's thought rather pretty, I
+believe," answered the young man.
+
+"Do you mind introducing me?"
+
+"Certainly," said their new friend. "Come along."
+
+As they were passing through the room a little incident occurred that, if
+the Baron's perceptions had been keener, might have given him cause for
+some speculation. Two men standing by the door looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and then at each other, and as the Baron passed them he heard one say, "It
+looks devilish like him."
+
+"He has shaved, then," said the other.
+
+"Evidently," replied the first speaker; "but I thought he was unlikely to
+appear in any society for some time."
+
+They both laughed, and the Baron heard no more.
+
+When they reached the ballroom the band was striking up a polka, and
+presently Mr Bunker, with his accustomed grace, was tearing round the room
+with Lady Muriel, while the Baron--the delight of all eyes in his red
+waistcoat--led out her sister. In a very short time the other dancers found
+the Baron and his friend's onslaught so vigorous that prudence compelled
+them to take shelter along the wall, and from a safe distance admire the
+evolutions of these two mysterious guests.
+
+Mr Bunker was enlivening the monotony of the polka by the judicious
+introduction of hornpipe steps, while the Baron, his coat-tails high above
+his head, shouted and stamped in his wild career.
+
+"Do stop for a minute, Baron," gasped his fair partner.
+
+"Himmel, nein!" roared the Baron. "I haf gom here for to dance! Ha,
+Bonker, ha!"
+
+At last Lady Muriel had to stop through sheer exhaustion, but Mr Bunker,
+merely letting her go, pursued his solitary way, double-shuffling and
+kicking unimpeded.
+
+The Baron stopped, breathless, to admire him. Round and round he went, the
+only figure in the middle of the room, his arms akimbo, his feet
+rat-tatting and kicking to the music, while high above the band resounded
+his friend's shouts of "Bravo, Bonker! Wundersch�n! Gott in himmel,
+higher, higher!" till at length, missing the wall in an attempt to find
+support, the Baron dropped with a thud into a sitting posture and
+continued his demonstrations from the floor.
+
+Meanwhile their alarmed hostess was holding a hasty consultation with her
+husband, and when the music at last stopped and Mr Bunker was advancing
+with his most courteous air towards his late partner, Lord Tulliwuddle
+stepped up to him and touched his arm.
+
+"May I speak to you, sir?" he said.
+
+"Certainly," replied Mr Bunker. "I shall be honoured. Excuse me for one
+moment, Lady Muriel."
+
+"At whose invitation have you come here to-night?" demanded his host,
+sternly.
+
+"I have the pleasure of addressing Lord Tulliwuddle, have I not?"
+
+"You have, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker bent towards him and whispered something in his ear.
+
+"From Scotland Yard?" exclaimed his lordship.
+
+"Hush!" said Mr Bunker, glancing cautiously round the room, and then he
+added, with an air of impressive gravity, "You have a bathroom on the
+third floor, I believe?"
+
+"I have," replied his host in great surprise.
+
+"Has it a bell?"
+
+"No, I believe not."
+
+"Ah, I thought so. If you will favour me by coming up-stairs for a minute,
+my Lord, you will avoid a serious private scandal. Say nothing about it at
+present to any one."
+
+In blank astonishment and some alarm Lord Tulliwuddle went up with him to
+the third floor, where the house was still and the sounds of revelry
+reached faintly.
+
+"What does this mean, sir?" he asked.
+
+"If I am right in my conjectures you will need no explanation from me, my
+Lord."
+
+His lordship opened a door, and turning on an electric light, revealed a
+small and ordinary-looking bathroom.
+
+"Ha, no bell--excellent!" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"What are you doing with the key?" exclaimed his host.
+
+"Good night, my Lord. I shall tell them to send up breakfast at nine,"
+said Mr Bunker, and stepping quickly out, he shut and locked the door.
+
+A minute later he was back in the ballroom looking anxiously for the
+Baron, but that nobleman was nowhere to be seen.
+
+"The devil!" he said to himself. "Can they have tackled him too?"
+
+But as he ran downstairs a gust of cheerful laughter set his mind at ease.
+
+"Ha, ha, ha! Vere is old Bonker? He also vill shoot vid me!"
+
+"Here I am, my dear Baron," he exclaimed gaily, as he tracked the voice
+into the supper-room.
+
+"Ach, mine dear Bonker!" cried the Baron, folding him in his muscular
+embrace, "I haf here met friends, ve are merry! Ve drink to Bavaria, to
+England, to everyzing!"
+
+The "friends" consisted of two highly amused young men and two
+half-scandalised, half-hysterical ladies, into the midst of whose
+supper-table the Baron had projected himself with infectious hilarity.
+They all looked up with great curiosity at Mr Bunker, but that gentleman
+was not in the least put about. He bowed politely to the table generally,
+and took his friend by the arm.
+
+"It is time we were going, Baron, I'm afraid," he said.
+
+"Vat for? Ah, not yet, Bonker, not yet. I am enjoying myself down to ze
+floor. I most dance again, Bonker, jost vunce more," pleaded the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron, the noblemen of highest rank must always leave first, and
+people are talking of going now. Come along, old man."
+
+"Ha, is zat so?" said the Baron. "Zen vill I go. Good night!" he cried,
+waving his hand to the room generally. "Ven you gom to Bavaria you most
+all shoot vid me. Bravo, my goot Bonker! Ha! ha!"
+
+As they turned away from the table, one of the young men, who had been
+looking very hard at Mr Bunker, rose and touched his sleeve.
+
+"I say, aren't you----?" he began.
+
+"Possibly I am," interrupted Mr Bunker, "only I haven't the slightest
+recollection of the fact."
+
+An astonished lady was indicated by Mr Bunker as the hostess, and to her
+the Baron bade an affectionate adieu. He handed a sovereign to the
+footman, embraced the butler, and as they sped eastwards in their hansom,
+a rousing chorus from the two friends awoke the echoes of Piccadilly.
+
+"Bravo, Bonker! Himmel, I haf enjoyed myself!" sighed the exhausted Baron.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed a twelve o'clock breakfast with the
+relish of men who had done a good night's work. The Baron was full of his
+exploits. "Ze lofly Lady Hilton" and his new "friends" seemed to have made
+a vivid impression.
+
+"Zey vill be in ze Park to-day, of course?" he suggested.
+
+"Possibly," replied Mr Bunker, without any great enthusiasm.
+
+"But surely."
+
+"After a dance it is rather unlikely."
+
+"Ze Lady Hilton did say she vent to ze Park."
+
+"To-day, Baron?"
+
+"I do not remember to-day. I did dance so hard I was not perhaps distinct.
+But I shall go and see."
+
+As Mr Bunker's attempts to throw cold water on this scheme proved quite
+futile, he made a graceful virtue of necessity, dressed himself with care,
+and set out in the afternoon for the Park. They had only walked as far as
+Piccadilly Circus when in the crowd at the corner his eye fell upon a
+familiar figure. It was the burly, red-faced man.
+
+"The devil! Moggridge again!" he muttered.
+
+For a moment he thought they were going to pass unobserved: then the man
+turned his head their way, and Mr Bunker saw him start. He never looked
+over his shoulder, but after walking a little farther he called the
+Baron's attention to a shop window, and they stopped to look at it. Out of
+the corner of his eye he saw Moggridge about twenty yards behind them
+stopping too. He was glancing towards them very doubtfully. Evidently his
+mind was not yet made up, and at once Mr Bunker's fertile brain began to
+revolve plans.
+
+A little farther on they paused before another window, and exactly the
+same thing happened. Then Mr Bunker made up his mind. He looked carefully
+at the cabs, and at last observed a smart-looking young man driving a
+fresh likely horse at a walking pace beside the pavement.
+
+He caught the driver's eye and raised his stick, and turning suddenly to
+the Baron with a gesture of annoyance, exclaimed, "Forgive my rudeness,
+Baron, I'm afraid I must leave you. I had clean forgotten an important
+engagement in the city for this afternoon."
+
+"Appointment in ze city?" said the Baron in considerable surprise. "I did
+not know you had friends in ze city."
+
+"I have just heard from my father's man of business, and I'm afraid it
+would be impolitic not to see him. Do you mind if I leave you here?"
+
+"Surely, my dear fellow, I vould not stop you. Already I feel at home by
+myself."
+
+"Then we shall meet at the hotel before dinner. Good luck with the ladies,
+Baron."
+
+Mr Bunker jumped into the cab, saying only to the driver, "To the city, as
+quick as you can."
+
+"What part, sir?"
+
+"Oh, say the Bank. Hurry up!"
+
+Then as the man whipped up, Mr Bunker had a glimpse of Moggridge hailing
+another cab, and peeping cautiously through the little window at the back
+he saw him starting in hot pursuit. He took five shillings out of his
+pocket and opened the trap-door in the roof.
+
+"Do you see that other cab chasing us, with a red-faced man inside?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker handed his driver the money.
+
+"Get rid of him, then. Take me anywhere through the city you like, and
+when he's off the scent let me know."
+
+"Very good, sir," replied the driver, cracking his whip till his steed
+began to move past the buses and the other cabs like a train.
+
+On they flew, clatter and jingle, twisting like a snipe through the
+traffic. Mr Bunker perceived that he had a good horse and a good driver,
+and he smiled in pleasant excitement. He lit a cigar, leaned his arms on
+the doors, and settled himself to enjoy the race.
+
+The black lions of Trafalgar Square flew by, then the colossal hotels of
+Northumberland Avenue and the railway bridge at Charing Cross, and they
+were going at a gallop along the Embankment. He got swift glimpses of
+other cabs and foot-passengers, the trees seemed to flit past like
+telegraph-posts on a railway, the barges and lighters on the river dropped
+one by one behind them: it was a fair course for a race, with never a
+check before Blackfriar's Bridge.
+
+As they turned into Queen Victoria Street he opened the lid and asked,
+"Are they still in sight?"
+
+"Yes, sir; I'm afraid we ain't gaining much yet. But I'll do it, sir, no
+fears."
+
+Mr Bunker lay back and laughed.
+
+"This is better than the Park," he said to himself.
+
+They had a fine drive up Queen Victoria Street before they plunged into
+the whirlpool of traffic at the Bank. They were slowly making their way
+across when the driver, spying an opening in another stream, abruptly
+wheeled round for Cornhill, and presently they were off again at top
+speed.
+
+"Thrown them off?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"Tried to, sir, but they were too sharp and got clear away too."
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was going to be a stern chase, and laughed again. In
+order that he might not show ostensibly that he was running away, he
+resisted the temptation of having another peep through the back, and
+resigned himself to the chances of the chase.
+
+Through and through the lanes and byways of the city they drove, and after
+each double the answer from the box was always the same. The cab behind
+could not be shaken off.
+
+"Work your way round to Holborn and try a run west," Mr Bunker suggested.
+
+So after a little they struck Newgate Street, and presently their steed
+stretched himself again in Holborn Viaduct.
+
+"Gaining now, cabby?"
+
+"A little, sir, I think."
+
+Mr Bunker sat placidly till they were well along Holborn before he
+inquired again.
+
+"Can't get rid of 'im no 'ow. Afride it ain't much good, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker passed up five shillings more.
+
+"Keep your tail up. You'll do it yet," he exhorted. "Try a turn north; you
+may bother him among the squares."
+
+So they doubled north, and as the evening closed in their wearied horse
+was lashed through a maze of monotonous streets and tarnished Bloomsbury
+Squares. And still the other cab stuck to their trail. But when they
+emerged on the Euston Road, Mr Bunker was as cheerful as ever.
+
+"They can't last much longer," he said to his driver. "Turn up Regent's
+Park way."
+
+A little later he put the usual question and got the same unvarying
+answer.
+
+The horse was evidently beginning to fail, and he saw that this
+chariot-race must soon come to an end. The street-lamps and the shop
+windows were all lit up by this time, and the dusk was pretty thick. It
+seemed to him that he might venture to try his luck on foot, and he began
+to look out for an opening where a cab could not follow.
+
+They were flogging along a noisy stone-paved road where there was little
+other traffic; on one side stood an unbroken row of houses, and on the
+other were small semi-detached villas with little strips of garden about
+them. All at once he saw a doctor's red lamp over the door of one of these
+half villas, and an inspiration came upon him.
+
+"One can always visit a doctor," he said to himself, and smiled in great
+amusement at something in the reflection.
+
+He stopped the cab, handed the man half a sovereign, and saying only,
+"Drive away again, quickly," jumped out, glanced at the name on the plate,
+and pulled the bell. As he waited on the step he saw the other cab stop a
+little way back, and his pursuer emerge.
+
+A frowsy little servant opened the door.
+
+"Is Dr Twiddel at home?" he asked.
+
+"Dr Twiddel's abroad, sir," said the maid.
+
+"No one in at all, then?"
+
+"Dr Billson sees 'is patients, sir--w'en there _his_ any."
+
+"When do you expect Dr Billson?"
+
+"In about an hour, sir, 'e usually comes hin."
+
+"Excellent!" thought Mr Bunker. Aloud he said, "Well, I'm a patient. I'll
+come in and wait."
+
+He stepped in, and the door banged behind him.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VIII.
+
+
+"This w'y, sir," said the maid, and Mr Bunker found himself in the little
+room where this story opened.
+
+The moment he was alone he went to the window and peeped cautiously
+between the slats of the venetian blind.
+
+The street was quiet, both cabs had disappeared, and for a minute or two
+he could see nothing even of Moggridge. Then a figure moved carefully from
+the shelter of a bush a little way down the railings, and, after a quick
+look at the house, stepped back again.
+
+"He means to play the waiting game," said Mr Bunker to himself. "Long may
+you wait, my wary Moggridge!"
+
+He took a rapid survey of the room. He saw the medical library, the rented
+furniture, and the unlit gas-stove; and at last his eye fell upon a box of
+cigarettes. To one of these he helped himself and leaned his back against
+the mantelpiece.
+
+"There must be at least one room at the back," he reflected; "that room
+must have a window, and beyond that window there is all London to turn to.
+Friend Moggridge, I trust you are prepared to spend the evening behind
+your bush."
+
+He had another look through the blind and shook his head.
+
+"A little too light yet,--I'd better wait for a quarter of an hour or so."
+
+To while away the time he proceeded to make a tour of the room, for, as he
+said to himself, when in an unknown country any information may possibly
+come in useful. There was nothing whatever from which he could draw even
+the most superficial deduction till he came to the writing-desk. Here a
+heap of bills were transfixed by a long skewer, and at his first glance at
+the uppermost his face assumed an expression of almost ludicrous
+bewilderment. He actually rubbed his eyes before he looked a second time.
+
+"One dozen shirts," he read, "four under-flannels, four pair socks, one
+dozen handkerchiefs, two sleeping-suits--marked Francis Beveridge! the
+account rendered to Dr G. Twiddel! What in the name of wonderment is the
+meaning of this?"
+
+He sat down with the bill in his hand and gazed hard at it.
+
+"Precisely my outfit," he said to himself.
+
+"Am I--Does it----? What a rum thing!"
+
+He sat for about ten minutes looking hard at the floor. Then he burst out
+laughing, resumed in a moment his air of philosophical opportunism, and
+set about a further search of the desk. He looked at the bills and seemed
+to find nothing more to interest him. Then he glanced at one or two
+letters in the drawers, threw the first few back again, and at last paused
+over one.
+
+"Twiddel to Billson," he said to himself. "This may possibly be worth
+looking at."
+
+It was dated more than a month back from the town of Fogelschloss.
+
+"Dear Tom," it ran, "we are having an A 1 time. Old Welsh is in splendid
+form, doing the part to perfection. He has never given himself away yet,
+not even when drunk, which, I am sorry to say, he has been too often. But
+then old Welsh is so funny when he is drunk that it makes him all the more
+like the original, or at least what the original is supposed to be.
+
+"Of course we don't dare to venture into places where we would see too
+many English. This is quite an amusing place for a German town, some baths
+and a kind of a gambling-table, and some pretty girls--for Germans. There
+is a sporting aristocrat here, in an old castle, who is very friendly, and
+is much impressed with Welsh's account of his family plate and
+deer-forest, and has asked us once or twice to come out and see him. We
+are no end of swells, I assure you.
+
+"Ta, ta, old chap. Hope the practice prospers in your hands. Don't kill
+_all_ the patients before I come back.--Ever thine,
+
+                                                          GEORGE TWIDDEL."
+
+"From this I conclude that Dr Twiddel is on the festive side of forty," he
+reflected; "there are elements of mystery and a general atmosphere of
+alcohol about it, but that's all, I'm afraid."
+
+He put it back in the drawer, but the bill he slipped into his pocket.
+
+"And now," thought he, "it is time I made the first move."
+
+After waiting for a minute or two to make sure that everything was quiet,
+he gently stepped out into a little linoleum-carpeted hall. On the right
+hand was the front door, on the left two others that must, he thought,
+open into rooms on the back. He chose the nearer at a venture, and entered
+boldly. It was quite dark. He closed the door again softly, struck a
+match, and looked round the room. It seemed to be Dr Twiddel's dining- and
+sitting-room.
+
+"Pipes, photographs, well-sat-in chairs," he observed, "_and_ a window."
+
+He pulled aside the blind and looked out into the darkness of a strip of
+back-garden. For a minute he listened intently, but no sound came from the
+house. Then he threw up the sash and scrambled out. It was quite dark by
+this time: he was enclosed between two rows of vague, black houses, with
+bright windows here and there, and chimney-cans faintly cutting their
+uncouth designs among a few pale London stars. The space between was
+filled with the two lines of little gardens and the ranks of walls, and in
+the middle the black chasm of a railway cutting.
+
+A frightened cat bolted before him as he hurried down to the foot of the
+strip, but that was all the life he saw. He looked over the wall right
+into the deep crevasse. A little way off, on the one hand, hung a cluster
+of signal-lights, and the shining rails reflected them all along to the
+mouth of a tunnel on the other. Turning his head this way and that, there
+was nothing to be seen anywhere else but garden wall after garden wall.
+
+"It's a choice between a hurdle-race through these gardens, a cat-walk
+along this wall, and a descent into the cutting," he reflected. "The walls
+look devilish high and the cutting devilish deep. Hang me if I know which
+road to take."
+
+While he was still debating this somewhat perplexing question, he felt the
+ground begin to quiver under him. Through the hum of London there
+gradually arose a louder roar, and in a minute the head-lights of an
+engine flashed out of the tunnel. One after another a string of bright
+carriages followed it, each more slowly than the carriage in front, till
+the whole train was at a standstill below him with the red signal-lamp
+against it.
+
+In an instant his decision was taken. At the peril of life and garments he
+scrambled down the rocky bank, picking as he went an empty first-class
+compartment, and just as the train began to move again he swung himself up
+and sprang into a carriage.
+
+Unfortunately he had chosen the wrong one in his haste, and as he opened
+the door he saw a comical vision of a stout little old gentleman huddling
+into the farther corner in the most dire consternation.
+
+"Who are you, sir? What do you want, sir?" spluttered the old gentleman.
+"If you come any nearer me, sir--one step, sir!--I shall instantly
+communicate with the guard! I have no money about me. Go away, sir!"
+
+"I regret to learn that you have no money," replied Mr Bunker,
+imperturbably; "but I am sorry that I am not at present in a condition to
+offer a loan."
+
+He sat down and smiled amicably, but the little gentleman was not to be
+quieted so easily. Seeing that no violence was apparently intended, his
+fright changed into respectable indignation.
+
+"You needn't try to be funny with me, sir. You are committing an illegal
+act. You have placed yourself in an uncommonly serious position, sir."
+
+"Indeed, sir?" replied Mr Bunker. "I myself should have imagined that by
+remaining on the rails I should have been much more seriously situated."
+
+The old gentleman looked at him like an angry small dog that longs to bite
+if it only dared.
+
+"What is the meaning of this illegal intrusion?" he demanded. "Who are
+you? Where did you come from?"
+
+"I had the misfortune, sir," explained Mr Bunker, politely, "to drop my
+hat out of the window of a neighbouring carriage. While I was picking it
+up the train started, and I had to enter the first compartment I could
+find. I am sorry that my entry frightened you."
+
+"Frightened me!" spluttered the old gentleman. "I am not afraid, sir. I am
+an honest man who need fear no one, sir. I do not believe you dropped your
+hat. It is perfectly uninjured."
+
+"It may be news to you, sir," replied Mr Bunker, "that by gently yet
+firmly passing the sleeve of your coat round your hat in the direction of
+the nap, it is possible to restore the gloss. Thus," and suiting the
+action to the word he took off his hat, drew his coat-sleeve across it,
+and with a genial smile at the old gentleman, replaced it on his head.
+
+But his neighbour was evidently of that truculent disposition which merely
+growls at blandishments. He snorted and replied testily, "That is all very
+well, sir, but I don't believe a word of it."
+
+"If you prefer it, then, I fell off the telegraph wires in an attempt to
+recover my boots."
+
+The old gentleman became purple in the face.
+
+"Have a care, sir! I am a director of this company, and at the next
+station I shall see that you give a proper account of yourself. And here
+we are, sir. I trust you have a more credible story in readiness."
+
+As he spoke they drew up beside an underground platform, and the irascible
+old gentleman, with a very threatening face that was not yet quite cleared
+of alarm, bustled out in a prodigious hurry. Mr Bunker lay back in his
+seat and replied with a smile, "I shall be delighted to tell any story
+within the bounds of strict propriety."
+
+But the moment he saw the irate director disappear in the crowd he whipped
+out too, and with the least possible delay transferred himself into a
+third-class carriage.
+
+From his seat near the window he watched the old gentleman hurry back with
+three officials at his heels, and hastily search each first-class
+compartment in turn. The last one was so near him that he could hear his
+friend say, "Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!" And with that
+the four of them rushed off to the barrier to intercept or pursue this
+suspicious character. Then the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr
+Bunker remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself, "Well,
+whoever I am, it would seem I'm rather difficult to catch."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IX.
+
+
+Mr Bunker arrived at the H�tel Mayonaise in what, from his appearance, was
+an unusually reflective state of mind for him. The other visitors, many of
+whom had begun to regard him and his noble friend with great interest, saw
+him pass through the crowd in the hall and about the lifts with a
+thoughtful air. He went straight to the Baron's room. Outside the door he
+paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile, and then burst
+gaily in upon his friend.
+
+"Well, my dear Baron!" he cried, "what luck in the Park?"
+
+The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English novel. He laid down
+his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.
+
+"I do not onderstand your English vays," he replied.
+
+Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much amiss, nor was he without
+a suspicion of the cause. He laughed, however, and asked, "What's the
+matter, old man?"
+
+"I vent to ze Park," said the Baron, with a solemn deliberation that
+evidently came hardly to him. "I entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you
+know, viz taste and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked under
+ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people. Goddam!"
+
+"My dear Baron!" expostulated Mr Bunker.
+
+The Baron resumed his intense composure with a great effort.
+
+"Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit ze ozzer Lady Hilton
+and vun old lady. I raise my hat--no bow from zem. 'Pairhaps,' I zink, 'zey
+see me not.' Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I gomed up and
+again I raise my hat and I say, 'How do you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you
+are regovered from ze dance.' Zat was gorrect, vas it not?"
+
+"Perfectly," replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.
+
+"Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer Lady Hilton cry, 'Ach, zat
+German man!' And vy did ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, 'Send him
+avay! How dare you? Insolence!' and suchlike vords?"
+
+"What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Remargable!" roared the justly incensed Baron. "Is it not more zan
+_remargable?_ Donner und blitzen! Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English
+vord so bad enoff for soch conduct."
+
+"It must have been a joke," his friend suggested, soothingly.
+
+"Vun dashed bad joke, zen! Ze gentleman said to me, 'Get out of zis, you
+rasgal!' 'Vat mean you, sare?' say I. 'You know quite vell,' said he.
+'Glear out!' So I gave him my card and tell him I would be glad to see his
+frient zat he should send, for zat I vas not used to be called zo. Zen I
+raise my hat to ze Lady Hilton and say, 'Adieu, madame, I know now ze
+English lady,' and I valk on. Himmel!"
+
+"What a very extraordinary affair, Baron!"
+
+The Baron grunted with inarticulate indignation and nearly pulled his
+moustache out by the roots. Abruptly he broke out again, "English ladies?
+I do not believe zey are ladies! Never haf I been treated zo! Vat do you
+mean, Bonker, by taking me among soch peoples?"
+
+"_I_, my dear Baron? It was not I who introduced you to the Hiltons. I
+never saw them before."
+
+The difficulty of attaching any blame to his friend seemed to have
+anything but a soothing effect on the Baron. You could almost fancy that
+you heard his tail lash the floor.
+
+"Zat vas not all," he continued, after a short struggle with his wrath. "I
+valked on, and soon I see two of ze frients I made last night at supper."
+
+"Which two?"
+
+"Ze yong man zat spoke to you ven you rise from ze table, and vun of ze
+ladies. Again I raise my hat and say, 'How do you do? I hope zat you are
+regovered from ze dance.' Zat is gorrect, you say?"
+
+"Under most circumstances."
+
+"Ze man stared at me, and ze voman--I vill not say lady--says to him zo zat
+I can hear, 'Zat awful German!' Ze man says, 'Zo it is,' and laughed. 'I
+haf ze pleasure of meeting you last night at ze Lady Tollyvoddle,' I said.
+'I remember,' he said; 'but I haf no vish to meet you again.' I take out
+my card to gif him, but he only said, 'Go avay, or I vill call ze police!'
+'Ze police! To me, Baron von Blitzenberg! Teufel!' I replied."
+
+"And that was all, Baron?" asked Mr Bunker, in what seemed rather like a
+tone of relief.
+
+"No; suddenly he did turn back and said, 'By ze vay, who vas zat viz you
+last night?' To vich I replied, 'If you address me again, my man, I vill
+call ze police. Go avay!' "
+
+"Bravo, Baron! Ha, ha, ha! Excellent!" laughed Mr Bunker.
+
+This applause served to reinstate the Baron a little in his own good
+opinion. He laughed too, though rather noisily than heartily, and suddenly
+became grave again.
+
+"Vat means zis, Bonker? Vat haf I done? Vy should zey treat me zo?"
+
+"Well, you see, my dear Baron," his friend explained, "I ought to have
+warned you that it is not usual in England to address ladies you have met
+at a dance without some direct invitation on their part. At the same time,
+it is evident that the Hiltons and the other man, who of course must be
+connected with the Foreign Office, are aware of some sudden strain in the
+diplomatic relations between England and Germany, which as yet is unknown
+to the public. Your ancient name and your high rank have naturally led
+them to conclude that you are an agent of the German Government, and an
+international significance was of course attached to your presence in the
+Park. I certainly think they took a most outrageous advantage of a
+trifling detail of etiquette to repulse you; but then you must remember,
+Baron, that their families might have been seriously compromised with the
+Government if they had been seen with so prominent a member of the German
+aristocracy in the middle of Hyde Park."
+
+"Zo?" said the Baron, thoughtfully. "I begin to onderstand. My name, as
+you say, is cairtainly distinguished. Bot zen should I remain in London?"
+
+"Just what I was wondering, Baron. What do you say to a trip down to St
+Egbert's-on-Sea? It's a very select watering-place, and we might spend a
+week or two there very pleasantly."
+
+"Egxellent!" said the Baron; "ven shall we start?"
+
+"To-morrow morning."
+
+"Goot! zo let it be. I am tired of London and of ze English ladies'
+manners. Police to ze Baron von Blitzenberg! Ve shall go to St Egbert's,
+Bonker!"
+
+
+
+
+
+                                PART III.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker walked arm-in-arm along the esplanade at St
+Egbert's-on-Sea.
+
+"Aha!" said the Baron, "zis is more fresh zan London!"
+
+"Yes," replied his friend; "we are now in the presence of that stimulating
+element which provides patriotic Britons with music-hall songs, and
+dyspeptic Britons with an appetite."
+
+A stirring breeze swept down the long white esplanade, threatening hats
+and troubling skirts; the pale-green south-coast sea rumbled up the
+shingle; the day was bright and pleasant for the time of year, and drove
+the Baron's mischances from his head; altogether it seemed to Mr Bunker
+that the omens were good. They were both dressed in the smartest of tweed
+suits, and walked jauntily, like men who knew their own value. Every now
+and then, as they passed a pretty face, the Baron would say, "Aha, Bonker!
+zat is not so bad, eh?"
+
+And Mr Bunker, who seemed not unwilling that his friend should find some
+entertaining distraction in St Egbert's, would look at the owners of these
+faces with a prospector's eye and his own unrivalled assurance.
+
+They had walked up and down three or four times, when a desire for a
+different species of diversion began to overtake the Baron. It was the one
+kind of desire that the Baron never even tried to wrestle with.
+
+"My vriend Bonker," said he, "is it not somevere about time for loncheon,
+eh?"
+
+"I should say it was precisely the hour."
+
+"Ha, ha! zen, let us gom and eat. Himmel, zis sea is ze fellow to make von
+hungry!"
+
+The Baron had taken a private suite of rooms on the first floor of the
+best hotel in St Egbert's, and after a very substantial lunch Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the luxurious sitting-room sofa and announced his
+intention of having a nap.
+
+"I shall go out," said the Baron. "You vill not gom?"
+
+"I shall leave you to make a single-handed conquest," replied Mr Bunker.
+"Besides, I have a little matter I want to look into."
+
+So the Baron arranged his hat airily, at what he had perceived to be the
+most fashionable and effective English angle, and strutted off to the
+esplanade.
+
+It was about two hours later that he burst excitedly into the room,
+crying, "Aha, mine Bonker! I haf disgovered zomzing!" and then he stopped
+in some surprise. "Ello, vat make you, my vriend?"
+
+His friend, in fact, seemed to be somewhat singularly employed. Through a
+dense cloud of tobacco-smoke you could just pick him out of the depths of
+an armchair, his feet resting on the mantelpiece, while his lap and all
+the floor round about were covered with immense books. The Baron's
+curiosity was still further excited by observing that they consisted
+principally of a London and a St Egbert's directory, several volumes of a
+Dictionary of National Biography, and one or two peerages and county
+family compilations.
+
+He looked up with a smile. "You may well wonder, my dear Baron. The fact
+is, I am looking for a name."
+
+"A name! vat name?"
+
+"Alas! if I knew what it was I should stop looking, and I confess I'm
+rather sick of the job."
+
+"Vich vay do you look, zen?"
+
+"Simply by wading my way through all the lists of names I could steal or
+borrow. It's devilish dry work."
+
+"Ze name of a vriend, is it?"
+
+"Yes; but I'm afraid I must wait till it comes. And what is this
+discovery, Baron? A petticoat, I presume. After all, they are the only
+things worth finding," and he shut the books one after another.
+
+"A petticoat with ze fairest girl inside it!" exclaimed the Baron,
+rapturously.
+
+"Your eyes seem to have been singularly penetrating, Baron. Was she dark
+or fair, tall or short, fat or slender, widow, wife, or maid?"
+
+"Fair, viz blue eyes, short pairhaps but not too short, slender as
+a--a--drom-stick, and I vould say a maid; at least I see vun stout old lady
+mit her, mozzer and daughter I soppose."
+
+"And did this piece of perfection seem to appreciate you?"
+
+"Vy should I know? Zey are ze real ladies and pairtend not to see me, bot
+I zink zey notice me all ze same. Not 'lady vriends,' Bonker, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+Mr Bunker laughed with reminiscent amusement, and inquired, "And how did
+the romance end--in a cab, Baron?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron; "better zan zat, Bonker--moch better!"
+
+Mr Bunker raised his eyebrows.
+
+"It's hardly the time of year for a romance to end in a bathing-machine.
+You followed the divinity to her rented heaven, perhaps?"
+
+The Baron bent forward and answered in a stage whisper, "Zey live in zis
+hotel, Bonker!"
+
+"Then I can only wish you joy, Baron, and if my funds allow me, send her a
+wedding present."
+
+"Ach, not quite so fast, my vriend! I am not caught so easy."
+
+"My dear fellow, a week at close quarters is sufficient to net any man."
+
+"Ven I marry," replied the Baron, "moch most be considered. A von
+Blitzenberg does not mate viz every vun."
+
+"A good many families have made the same remark, but one does not always
+meet the fathers-in-law."
+
+"Ha, ha! ve shall see. Bot, Bonker, she is lofly!"
+
+The Baron awaited dinner with even more than his usual ardour. He dressed
+with the greatest care, and at an absurdly early hour was already urging
+his friend to come down and take their places. Indeed after a time there
+was no withholding him, and they finally took their seats in the
+dining-room before anybody else.
+
+At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably long intervals a few
+people dropped in and began to study their menus and glance with an air of
+uncomfortable suspicion at their neighbours.
+
+"I vonder vill she gom," he said three or four times at least.
+
+"Console yourself, my dear Baron," his friend would reply; "they always
+come. That's seldom the difficulty."
+
+And the Baron would dally with his victuals in the most unwonted fashion,
+and growl at the rapidity with which the courses followed one another.
+
+"Do zey suppose ve vish to eat like----?" he began, and then laying his hand
+on his friend's sleeve, he whispered, "She goms!"
+
+Mr Bunker turned his head just in time to see in the doorway the Countess
+of Grillyer and the Lady Alicia � Fyre.
+
+"Is she not fair?" asked the Baron, excitedly.
+
+"I entirely approve of your taste, Baron. I have only once seen any one
+quite like her before."
+
+With a gratified smile the Baron filled his glass, while his friend seemed
+amused by some humorous reflection of his own.
+
+The Lady Alicia and her mother had taken their seats at a table a little
+way off, and at first their eyes never happened to turn in the direction
+of the two friends. But at last, after looking at the ceiling, the carpet,
+the walls, the other people, everything else in the room it seemed, Lady
+Alicia's glance fell for an instant on the Baron. That nobleman looked as
+interesting as a mouthful of roast duck would permit him, but the glance
+passed serenely on to Mr Bunker. For a moment it remained serene; suddenly
+it became startled and puzzled, and at that instant Mr Bunker turned his
+own eyes full upon her, smiled slightly, and raised his glass to his lips.
+
+The glance fell, and the Lady Alicia blushed down to the diamonds in her
+necklace.
+
+The Baron insisted on lingering over his dinner till the charmer was
+finished, and so by a fortuitous coincidence they left the room
+immediately behind the Countess. The Baron passed them in the passage, and
+a few yards farther he looked round for his friend, and the Countess
+turned to look for her daughter.
+
+They saw Lady Alicia following with an intensely unconscious expression,
+while Mr Bunker was in the act of returning to the dining-room.
+
+"I wanted to secure a table for breakfast," he explained.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron was in high hopes of seeing the fair unknown at breakfast, but
+it seemed she must be either breakfasting in her own room or lying long
+abed.
+
+"I think I shall go out for a little constitutional," said Mr Bunker, when
+he had finished. "I suppose the hotel has a stronger attraction for you."
+
+"Ach, yes, I shall remain," his friend replied. "Pairhaps I may see zem."
+
+"Take care then, Baron!"
+
+"I shall not propose till you return, Bonker!"
+
+"No," said Mr Bunker to himself, "I don't think you will."
+
+Just outside St Egbert's there is a high breezy sweep of downs, falling
+suddenly to a chalky seaward cliff. It overlooks the town and the
+undulating inland country and a great spread of shining sea; and even
+without a spy-glass you can see sail after sail and smoke-wreath after
+smoke-wreath go by all day long.
+
+But Mr Bunker had apparently walked there for other reasons than to see
+the view. He did stop once or twice, but it was only to scan the downs
+ahead, and at the sight of a fluttering skirt he showed no interest in
+anything else, but made a straight line for its owner. For her part, the
+lady seemed to await his coming. She gathered her countenance into an
+expression of as perfect unconcern as a little heightening of her colour
+would allow her, and returned his salute with rather a distant bow. But Mr
+Bunker was not to be damped by this hint of barbed wire. He held out his
+hand and exclaimed cordially, "My dear Lady Alicia! this is charming of
+you!"
+
+"Of course you understand, Mr Beveridge, it's only----"
+
+"Perfectly," he interrupted, gaily; "I understand everything I should and
+nothing I shouldn't. In fact, I have altered little, except in the
+trifling matter of a beard, a moustache or two, and, by the way, a name."
+
+"A name?"
+
+"I am now Francis Bunker, but as much at your service as ever."
+
+"But why--I mean, have you really changed your name?"
+
+"Circumstances have changed it, just as circumstances shaved me."
+
+Lady Alicia made a great endeavour to look haughty. "I do not quite
+understand, Mr----"
+
+"Bunker--a temporary title, but suggestive, and simple for the tradesmen."
+
+"I do not understand your conduct. Why have you changed your name?"
+
+"Why not?"
+
+This retort was so evidently unanswerable that Lady Alicia changed her
+inquiry.
+
+"Where have you been?"
+
+"Till yesterday, in London."
+
+"Then you didn't go to your own parish?" she demanded, reproachfully.
+
+"There were difficulties," he replied; "in fact, a certified lunatic is
+not in great demand as a parish priest. They seem to prefer them
+uncertified."
+
+"But didn't you try?"
+
+"Hard, but it was no use. The bishop was out of town, and I had to wait
+till his return; besides, my position was somewhat insecure. I have had at
+least two remarkable escapes since I saw you last."
+
+"Are you safe here?" she asked, hurriedly.
+
+"With your consent, yes."
+
+She looked a little troubled. "I don't know that I am doing right, Mr
+Bev--Bunker, but----"
+
+"Thank you, my friend," he interrupted, tenderly.
+
+"Don't," she began, hastily. "You mustn't talk like----"
+
+"Francis Beveridge?" he interrupted. "The trouble is, this rascal Bunker
+bears an unconscionably awkward resemblance to our old friend."
+
+"You must see that it is quite--ridiculous."
+
+"Absurd," he agreed,--"perfectly preposterous. I laugh whenever I think of
+it!"
+
+Poor Lady Alicia felt like a man at a telephone who has been connected
+with the wrong person. Again she made a desperate shift to fall back on a
+becoming pride.
+
+"What do you mean?" she demanded.
+
+"If I mean anything at all, which is always rather doubtful," he replied,
+candidly, "I mean that Beveridge and his humbug were creatures of an
+occasion, just as Bunker and his are of another. The one occasion is
+passed, and with it the first entertaining gentleman has vanished into
+space. The second gentleman will doubtless follow when his time is up. In
+fact, I may be said to be a series of dissolving views."
+
+"Then isn't what you said true?"
+
+"I'm afraid you must be more specific; you see I've talked so much."
+
+"What you said about yourself--and your work."
+
+He shook his head humorously. "I have no means of checking my statements."
+
+She looked at him in a troubled way, and then her eyes fell.
+
+"At least," she said, "you won't--you mustn't treat me as--as you did."
+
+"As Beveridge did? Certainly not; Bunker is the soul of circumspection.
+Besides, he doesn't require to get out of an asylum."
+
+"Then it was only to get away?" she cried, turning scarlet.
+
+"Let us call it so," he replied, looking pensively out to sea.
+
+It seemed wiser to Lady Alicia to change the subject.
+
+"Who is the friend you are staying with?" she asked, suddenly.
+
+"My old friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, and your own most recent
+admirer," he replied. "I am at present living with, in fact I may say
+upon, him."
+
+"Does he know?"
+
+"If you meet him, you had perhaps better not inquire into my past
+history."
+
+"I meant, does he know about--about your knowing me?"
+
+"Bless them!" thought Mr Bunker; "one forgets they're not _always_
+thinking about us!"
+
+"My noble friend has no idea that I have been so fortunate," he replied.
+
+Lady Alicia looked relieved. "Who is he?" she asked.
+
+"A German nobleman of great wealth, long descent, and the most
+accommodating disposition. He is at present exploring England under my
+guidance, and I flatter myself that he has already seen and done a number
+of things that are not on most programmes."
+
+Lady Alicia was silent for a minute. Then she said with a little
+hesitation, "Didn't you get a letter from me?"
+
+"A letter? No," he replied, in some surprise.
+
+"I wrote twice--because you asked me to, and I thought--I wondered if you
+were safe."
+
+"To what address did you write?"
+
+"The address you gave me."
+
+"And what was that?" he asked, still evidently puzzled.
+
+"You said care of the Archbishop of York would find you."
+
+Mr Bunker abruptly looked the other way.
+
+"By Jove!" he said, as if lost in speculation, "I must find out what the
+matter was. I can't imagine why they haven't been forwarded."
+
+Lady Alicia appeared a little dissatisfied.
+
+"Was that a _real_ address?" she asked, suddenly.
+
+"Perfectly," he replied; "as real as Pentonville Jail or the House of
+Commons." ("And as likely to find me," he added to himself.)
+
+Lady Alicia seemed to hesitate whether to pursue the subject further, but
+in the middle of her debate Mr Bunker asked, "By the way, has Lady
+Grillyer any recollection of having seen me before?"
+
+"No, she doesn't remember you at all."
+
+"Then we shall meet as strangers?"
+
+"Yes, I think it would be better; don't you?"
+
+"It will save our imaginations certainly."
+
+Lady Alicia looked at him as though she expected something more; but as
+nothing came, she said, "I think it's time I went back."
+
+"For the present then _au revoir_, my dear Alicia. I beg your pardon, Lady
+Alicia; it was that rascal Beveridge who made the slip. It now remains to
+make your formal acquaintance."
+
+"You--you mustn't try!"
+
+"The deuce is in these people beginning with B!" he laughed. "They seem to
+do things without trying."
+
+He pressed her hand, raised his hat, and started back to the town. She, on
+her part, lingered to let him get a clear start of her, and her blue eyes
+looked as though a breeze had blown across and ruffled them.
+
+Mr Bunker had reached the esplanade, and was sauntering easily back
+towards the hotel, looking at the people and smiling now and then to
+himself, when he observed with considerable astonishment two familiar
+figures strolling towards him. They were none other than the Baron and the
+Countess, engaged in animated conversation, and apparently on the very
+best terms with each other. At the sight of him the Baron beamed joyfully.
+
+"Aha, Bonker, so you haf returned!" he cried. "In ze meanvile I haf had
+vun great good fortune. Let me present my friend Mr Bonker, ze Lady
+Grillyer."
+
+The Countess bowed most graciously, and raising a pair of
+tortoise-shell-rimmed eye-glasses mounted on a stem of the same material,
+looked at Mr Bunker through these with a by no means disapproving glance.
+
+At first sight it was evident that Lady Alicia must "take after" her noble
+father. The Countess was aquiline of nose, large of person, and emphatic
+in her voice and manner.
+
+"You are the 'showman,' Mr Bunker, are you not?" she said, with a smile
+for which many of her acquaintances would have given a tolerable
+percentage of their incomes.
+
+"It seems," replied Mr Bunker, smiling back agreeably, "that the Baron is
+now the showman, and I must congratulate him on his first venture."
+
+For an instant the Countess seemed a trifle taken aback. It was a
+considerable number of years since she had been addressed in precisely
+this strain, and in fact at no time had her admirers ventured quite so
+dashingly to the attack. But there was something entirely irresistible in
+Mr Bunker's manner, partly perhaps because he never made the mistake of
+heeding a first rebuff. The Countess coughed, then smiled a little again,
+and said to the Baron, "You didn't tell me that your showman supplied the
+little speeches as well."
+
+"I could not know it; zere has not before been ze reason for a pretty
+speech," responded the Baron, gallantly.
+
+If Lady Grillyer had been anybody else, one would have said that she
+actually giggled. Certainly a little wave of scandalised satisfaction
+rippled all over her.
+
+"Oh, really!" she cried, "I don't know which of you is the worst
+offender."
+
+All this time, as may be imagined, Mr Bunker had been in a state of high
+mystification at his friend's unusual adroitness.
+
+"How the deuce did he get hold of her?" he said to himself.
+
+In the next pause the Baron solved the riddle.
+
+"You vil vunder, Bonker," he said, "how I did gom to know ze Lady
+Grillyer."
+
+"I envied, certainly," replied his friend, with a side glance at the now
+purring Countess.
+
+"She vas of my introdogtions, bot till after you vent out zis morning I
+did not lairn her name. Zen I said to myself, 'Ze sun shines, Himmel is
+kind! Here now is ze fair Lady Grillyer--my introdogtion!' and zo zat is
+how, you see."
+
+"To think of the Baron being here and our only finding each other out by
+chance!" said the Countess.
+
+"By a fortunate providence for me!" exclaimed the Baron, fervently.
+
+"Baron," said the Countess, trying hard to look severe, "you must really
+keep some of these nice speeches for my daughter. Which reminds me, I
+wonder where she can be?"
+
+"Ach, here she goms!" cried the Baron.
+
+"Why, how did you know her?" asked the Countess.
+
+"I--I did see her last night at dinnair," explained the Baron, turning red.
+
+"Ah, of course, I remember," replied the Countess, in a matter-of-fact
+tone; but her motherly eye was sharp, and already it began to look on the
+highly eligible Rudolph with more approval than ever.
+
+"My daughter Alicia, the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, Mr Bunker," she
+said the next moment.
+
+The Baron went nearly double as he bowed, and the flourish of his hat
+stirred the dust on the esplanade. Mr Bunker's salutation was less
+profound, but his face expressed an almost equal degree of interested
+respect. Her mother thought that when one of the gentlemen was a nobleman
+with an indefinite number of thousands a-year and the other a person of so
+much discrimination, Lady Alicia's own bow might have been a trifle less
+reserved. But then even the most astute mother cannot know the reasons for
+everything.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+"Alicia," said the Countess, "it was really a most fortunate coincidence
+our meeting the Baron at St Egbert's."
+
+She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her daughter. It was not
+the first time in the course of the morning that Lady Alicia had listened
+to similar observations, and perhaps that was why she answered somewhat
+listlessly, "Yes, wasn't it?"
+
+The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis, "I consider him one of
+the most agreeable and best informed young men I have ever met."
+
+"Is he?" said Lady Alicia, absently.
+
+"I wonder, Alicia, you hadn't noticed it," her mother observed, severely;
+"you talked with him most of the afternoon. I should have thought that no
+observant, well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with his
+air and conversation."
+
+"I--I thought him very pleasant, mamma."
+
+"I am glad you had so much sense. He is _extremely_ pleasant."
+
+As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged to continue his
+list of virtues herself.
+
+"He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the oldest in Bavaria. I
+don't remember what I heard his income was in pfennigs, or whatever they
+measure money by in Germany, but I know that it is more than �20,000
+a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays," she added, as if
+�20,000 had grown since she was a girl.
+
+"Yes, mamma."
+
+"He is considered, besides, an unusually promising and intelligent young
+nobleman, and in Germany, where noblemen are still constantly used, that
+says a great deal for him."
+
+"Does it, mamma?"
+
+"Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that young Englishmen are
+beginning to know less than they ever did, and in most cases that isn't
+saying much. Compare the Baron with the young men you meet here!"
+
+She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia could only reply,
+"Yes, mamma?"
+
+"Compare them and see the difference. Look at the Baron's friend, Mr
+Bunker, who is a very agreeable and amusing man, I admit, but look at the
+difference!"
+
+"What is it?" Alicia could not help asking.
+
+"_What_ is it, Alicia! It is--ah--it's--er--it is, in short, the effect of a
+carefully cultivated mind and good blood."
+
+"But don't you think Mr Bunker cultivated, mamma--and--and--well-bred?"
+
+"He has an amusing way of saying things,--but then you must remember that
+the Baron is doubtless equally entertaining in his native language,--and
+possibly a superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions of the
+day; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour on the relations of
+something or other in Germany to--er--something else--a very important point,
+I assure you."
+
+"I always thought him very clever," said Lady Alicia with a touch of
+warmth, and then instantly changed colour at the horrible slip.
+
+"You always," said the Countess in alarmed astonishment; "you hardly spoke
+to him yesterday, and--had you met him before?"
+
+"I--I meant the Baron, mamma."
+
+"But I have just been saying that he was _unusually_ clever."
+
+"But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered him only well
+informed."
+
+Lady Alicia's blushes and confusion deepened. Her mother looked at her
+with a softening eye. Suddenly she rose, kissed her affectionately, and
+said with the tenderness of triumph, "My _dear_ girl! Of course he is;
+clever, well informed, and a most _desirable_ young man. My Alicia could
+not do----"
+
+She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little premature (though
+the Countess's methods inclined to the summary and decisive), and again
+kissing her daughter affectionately, remarked gaily, "Let me see, why,
+it's almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn't really disappoint
+those young men. I am in the middle of such an amusing discussion with Mr
+Bunker, who is really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron's
+judgment."
+
+Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more relieved at her escape
+or dismayed at the construction put upon her explanation. She went out to
+meet the Baron, determined to give no further colour to her mother's
+unlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced and determined
+a general to leave it at all doubtful who should walk by whose side, and
+who should have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but Lady
+Alicia was quite resolved that the Baron's blandishments should fall on
+stony ground.
+
+But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous companions. The
+Baron was so amiable and so gallant, that at the end of half an hour she
+was obliged to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should treat
+him with the friendliness of a brother. She learned that he had no
+sisters: her decision was confirmed.
+
+The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh heaven of happy
+loquacity. He poured out particulars of his travels, his more recordable
+adventures, his opinions on various social and political matters, and at
+last even of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership, and the
+glories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened with what he could not doubt
+was an interest touched with tenderness.
+
+"I wonder," she said, artlessly, "that you find anything to admire in
+England--compared with Bavaria, I mean."
+
+"Two zings I haf not zere," replied the Baron, waving his hand round
+towards the horizon. "Vun is ze vet sheet of flowing sea--says not your
+poet so? Ze ozzer" (laying his hand on his heart) "is ze Lady Alicia �
+Fyre."
+
+There are some people who catch sentiment whenever it happens to be in the
+air, just as others almost equally unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.
+
+Lady Alicia's reply was much softer than she intended, especially as she
+could have told anybody that the Baron's compliment was the merest figure
+of speech.
+
+"You needn't have included me: I'm sure _I'm_ not a great attraction."
+
+"Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none," the Baron smiled.
+
+"Didn't you see anybody--I mean, anything in London that attracted you--that
+you liked?"
+
+"Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted me; but not zat
+shall still attract me ven I am gone avay."
+
+The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to reply, with the most
+sisterly kindness, "I--we should, of course, like to think that you didn't
+forget us _altogether_."
+
+"You need not fear."
+
+Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more like a second cousin
+than a brother, and with sudden sprightliness she cried, "I wonder where
+that steamer's going!"
+
+The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named attraction, but for a
+professed lover of the ocean his interest appeared slight. He only replied
+absently, "Ach, zo?"
+
+A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the Countess. The attention
+of Lady Grillyer was divided between the agreeable conversation of her
+companion and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of pfennigs
+a-year bending its titled head over her daughter. In the middle of one of
+Mr Bunker's most amusing stories she could not forbear interrupting with a
+complacent "they _do_ make a very handsome couple!"
+
+Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked critically from his
+friend's gaily checked back to Lady Alicia's trim figure.
+
+"Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker," said the Countess, hastily,
+realising that she had thought a little too loudly.
+
+"They are like," responded Mr Bunker, replying to her first remark--"they
+are like a pair of gloves."
+
+The Countess raised her brows and looked at him sharply.
+
+"I mean, of course, the best quality."
+
+"I think," said the Countess, suspiciously, "that you spoke a little
+carelessly."
+
+"My simile was a little premature?"
+
+"I think so," said the Countess, decisively.
+
+"Let us call them then an odd pair," smiled Mr Bunker, unruffled; "and
+only hope that they'll turn out to be the same size and different hands."
+
+The Countess actually condescended to smile back.
+
+"She is a _dear_ child," she murmured.
+
+"His income, I think, is sufficient," he answered.
+
+Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family. The Countess replied
+seriously, "I am one of those out-of-date people, Mr Bunker, who consider
+some things come before money, but the Baron's birth and position are
+fortunately unimpeachable."
+
+"While his mental qualities," said Mr Bunker, "are, in my experience,
+almost unique."
+
+The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr Bunker's discrimination.
+
+Late that night, after they had parted with their friends, the Baron
+smoked in the most unwonted silence while Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa.
+Several times Rudolph threw restive glances at his friend, as if he had
+something on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden himself
+of. At last the silence grew so intolerable that he screwed up his courage
+and with desperate resolution exclaimed, "Bonker!"
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.
+
+"Bonker, I am in loff!"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.
+
+"I have also been in love," he replied.
+
+"You are not now?"
+
+"Alas! no."
+
+"Vy alas?"
+
+"Because follies _without_ illusions get so infernally dull, Baron."
+
+The Baron smiled a little foolishly.
+
+"I haf ze illusions, I fear." Then he broke out enthusiastically, "Ach,
+bot is she not lofly, Bonker? If she will bot lof me back I shall be ze
+happiest man out of heaven!"
+
+"You have wasted no time, Baron."
+
+The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.
+
+"You are quite sure it is really love this time?" his friend pursued.
+
+"Qvite!" said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.
+
+"There are so many imitations."
+
+"Not so close zat zey can deceive!"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Bunker. "These first symptoms are common to them
+all, and yet the varieties of the disease are almost beyond counting. I
+myself have suffered from it in eight different forms. There was the
+virulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as calf-love; there was the kind
+that accompanied itself by a course of the Restoration dramatists; another
+form I may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided into at
+least two; then there was----"
+
+"Schtop! schtop!" cried the Baron. "Ha, ha, ha! Zat will do! Teufel! I
+most examine my heart strictly. And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzer
+kind--ze _real!_"
+
+"They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way. Anything I can do to
+make you worse shall be done."
+
+"Zanks, my best of friends," said the Baron, warmly, seizing his hand; "I
+knew you would stand by me!"
+
+Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure, replied, "My
+dear fellow, I'd do anything to oblige a friend in such an interesting
+condition."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron was a few minutes late in joining the party at lunch, and when
+he appeared he held an open letter in his hand. It was only the middle of
+the next day, and yet he could have sworn that last night he was
+comparatively whole-hearted, he felt so very much more in love already.
+
+"Yet anozzer introdogtion has found me out," he said as he took his seat.
+"I have here a letter of invitation vich I do not zink I shall accept."
+
+He threw an amorous glance at Lady Alicia, which her watchful mother
+rightly interpreted as indicating the cause of his intended refusal.
+
+"Who is it this time?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"Sir Richard Brierley of Brierley Park, Dampshire. Is zat how you
+pronounce it?"
+
+"Sir Richard Brierley!" exclaimed the Countess; "why, Alicia and I are
+going to visit some relatives of ours who live only six miles from
+Brierley Park! When has he asked you, Baron?"
+
+"Ze end of next week."
+
+"How odd! We are going down to Dampshire at the end of next week too. You
+must accept, Baron!"
+
+"I shall!" exclaimed the overjoyed Baron. "Shall ve go, Bonker?"
+
+"I'm not asked, I'm afraid."
+
+"Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him."
+
+"As you please, Baron," replied Mr Bunker, with a half glance at Lady
+Alicia.
+
+The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the inevitable hour of
+separation, and this piece of good fortune put him into the highest
+spirits. He felt so amiable towards the whole world that when the four
+went out for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by Lady
+Grillyer's side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and Lady Alicia were out of
+hail ahead. The Baron's face fell.
+
+"Shall I come down to this place?" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Would you like to?"
+
+"I should be sorry," he replied, "to part with--the Baron."
+
+Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending to this sentence, and
+so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had intended.
+
+"Oh, if you can't stay away from the Baron, you had better go."
+
+"It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so charming a person
+as the Baron; perhaps you can feel for me?"
+
+"I think he is very--nice."
+
+"He thinks you very nice."
+
+"Does he?" said Lady Alicia, with great indifference, and a moment later
+changed the subject.
+
+Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of course it was quite
+natural that Mr Bunker should find it pleasant to walk for a few minutes
+by the side of the fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was
+artfully pleading his friend's cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy. He
+remembered Mr Bunker's invariable success with the gentler sex, his wit,
+his happy smile, and his good looks; and he began to wish most sincerely
+that these fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat
+breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair in front had
+both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.
+
+"Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?" she suggested; and Lady Grillyer's
+suggestions were of the kind that are evidently meant to be acted upon.
+
+"Ach, I did forged," said the Baron, absently, and without further remark
+he slackened his pace for a few yards and then was off again.
+
+"You were telling me," gasped the Countess, "of something you thought
+of--doing when--you went--home."
+
+"Zo? Oh yes, it vas--Teufel! I do not remember."
+
+"Really, Baron," said the Countess, decidedly, "I cannot go any farther at
+this rate. Let us turn. The others will be turning too, in a minute."
+
+In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer's maternal instincts
+off their feet, and he suffered for it by seeing nothing of either his
+friend or his charmer for an hour and a half.
+
+That night he accepted Sir Richard's invitation, but said nothing whatever
+about bringing a friend.
+
+For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of mind as there were
+hours in each day. He walked and rode and drove with Lady Alicia through
+the most romantic spots he could find. He purchased a large assortment of
+golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play that most dangerous of
+games for mixed couples. In turn he broke every club in his set; the
+cavities he hewed in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but
+the heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to damage. There was
+always a moment at which his courage failed him, and in that fatal pause
+she invariably changed the subject with the most innocent air in the
+world.
+
+Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy would seize him. Why
+did she elect to disappear with Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had
+resolved should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same
+resolution every morning, but on this particular one he had no doubt he
+would have put his fate to the touch. And why on a certain moonlight
+evening was he left to the unsentimental company of the Countess?
+
+He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley Park; in fact he
+shunned discussion of any kind with his quondam bosom friend.
+
+The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert's was almost at an end.
+On the day after to-morrow all four were going to leave (where Mr Bunker
+was going, his friend never troubled to inquire).
+
+They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron's room. That very
+afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more time in Mr Bunker's society than in
+his, and the Baron felt that the hour had come for an explanation.
+
+"Bonker, I haf a suspection!" he exclaimed, suddenly. "It is not I, bot
+you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful Lady Alicia. You are not doing me
+fair!"
+
+"My dear Baron!"
+
+"It is so: you are not doing me fair," the Baron reiterated.
+
+"My dear fellow," replied Mr Bunker, "it is you are so much in love that
+you have lost your wonted courage. You don't use your chances."
+
+"I do not get zem."
+
+"Nonsense, Baron! I haven't spent one hour in Lady Alicia's company to
+your twenty-four, and yet if I'd been matrimonially inclined I could have
+proposed twice over. You've had the chance of being accepted fifty times."
+
+"I haf not been accepted vunce," said the Baron, moodily.
+
+"Have you put the question?"
+
+"I haf not dared."
+
+"Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?"
+
+The Baron was silent.
+
+"Ask her to-morrow."
+
+"No, Bonker," said the Baron, sadly; "she treats me not like a lover. She
+talks of friendship. I do not vish a frient!"
+
+Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "You don't think you have
+touched her heart?" he asked at length.
+
+"I fear not."
+
+"You must try an infallible recipe for winning a woman's heart. You must
+be in trouble."
+
+"In trouble!"
+
+"I have tried it once myself, with great success."
+
+"Bot how?"
+
+"You must fall ill."
+
+"Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled artfully. "They come to tea in our rooms to-morrow, you
+know. By then, Baron, you must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please.
+A grain of Lady Alicia's sympathy is worth more than a ton of even your
+wit."
+
+The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit escaped the Baron, the
+scheme delighted him.
+
+"Ha, Bonker! sch�n! I tvig! Goot!" he cried. "How shall ve do?"
+
+"Leave it to me."
+
+The Baron reflected, and his smile died away.
+
+"Sopposing," he said, slowly, "zey find out? Is it vise? Is it straight?"
+
+"They can't find out. They go the next morning, and what's to prevent your
+making a quick recovery and pluckily going down to Brierley Park as the
+interesting convalescent? She will know that you've made a dangerous
+journey on her account."
+
+The Baron's face cleared again.
+
+"Let us try!" he said; "anyzing is better zan my present state. Bot, be
+careful, Bonker!"
+
+"I shall take the most minute precautions," replied Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted early. The Baron seemed
+a little nervous now that it came so near the venture, but his friend was
+as cheerful as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage
+into Rudolph.
+
+Mr Bunker's bedroom opened out of their common sitting-room, and so he
+declared that in the afternoon the Baron must be laid up there.
+
+"Keep your room all morning," he said, "and look as pale as you can. I
+shall make my room ready for you."
+
+When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a chair and gazed for a
+few minutes round his bedroom. Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant
+to make the bed immediately, and presently went out to do some shopping.
+On the way he sent word to the Countess, telling her only that the Baron
+was indisposed, but that in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should
+have the pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning he
+spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of the ladies' way.
+
+When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted upon getting up to eat,
+the Baron was allowed to enter the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of
+astonishment,--and indeed his surprise was natural. The room was as full of
+flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe, and fireplace were most
+artistically draped with art hangings; a plate filled with grapes, a large
+bottle labelled "Two table-spoonfuls every half hour," and a
+medicine-glass were placed conspicuously on a small table; and, most
+remarkable feature of all, Mr Bunker's bath filled with water and alive
+with goldfish stood by the side of the bed. A couple of canaries sang in a
+cage by the window, the half-drawn curtains only permitted the most
+delicate light to steal into the room, and in short the whole arrangement
+reflected the utmost credit on his ingenious friend.
+
+The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.
+
+"Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?" he asked.
+
+"To show your love of nature."
+
+"Vy so?"
+
+"There is nothing that pleases a woman more."
+
+"My friend, you zink of everyzing!" exclaimed the Baron, admiringly.
+
+When four o'clock approached he drew a night-shirt over his other garments
+and got into bed. Mr Bunker at first was in favour of a complete change of
+attire, but on his friend's expostulating against such a thorough
+precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather like the historic
+blacking of Othello.
+
+"Leave it all to me, my dear Baron," he said, reassuringly, as he tucked
+him in; and with that he went into the other room and awaited the arrival
+of their guests.
+
+They came punctually. The Countess was full of concern for the "dear
+Baron," while Lady Alicia, he could not help thinking, appeared unusually
+reserved. In fact, his quick eye soon divined that something was the
+matter.
+
+"She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager or has found
+something out," he said to himself.
+
+However, it seemed that if she had found anything out it could have
+nothing to do with the Baron's indisposition, for she displayed the most
+ingenuous sympathy, and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly
+at himself.
+
+"So sudden!" exclaimed the Countess.
+
+"It is rather sudden, but we'll hope it may pass as quickly as it came,"
+said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful impression of deep concern veiled by a
+cheerful manner.
+
+"Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?" demanded the countess.
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and replied, "Oh, dear,
+no! that is--at present, Lady Grillyer, we have really no reason to be
+alarmed."
+
+"I am _so_ sorry," murmured Lady Alicia.
+
+Her mother looked at her approvingly.
+
+"Poor Baron!" she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.
+
+"So far from home!" sighed Mr Bunker. "And yet so cheerful through it
+all," he added.
+
+"What did you say was the matter?" asked the Countess.
+
+Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective to maintain a
+little mystery round his friend's malady.
+
+"The doctor hasn't yet given a decided opinion," he replied.
+
+"Can't we do anything?" said Lady Alicia, softly.
+
+Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up to the proper pitch of
+sympathy.
+
+"Poor Rudolph!" he exclaimed. "It would cheer him immensely, I know, and
+ease my own anxiety as well, if you would venture in to see him for a few
+minutes. In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a woman's."
+
+The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered for an instant between
+those proprieties for which she was a famous stickler and this admirable
+chance of completing the Baron's conquest.
+
+"His relations are far away," said Mr Bunker, looking pensively out of the
+window.
+
+"We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?" suggested Lady Grillyer.
+
+"Yes, mamma," replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity that rather surprised
+their host.
+
+With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies into the darkened
+sick-room. The Baron, striving to conceal his exultation under a rueful
+semblance, greeted them with a languid yet happy smile.
+
+"Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you, Lady Alicia, how can I
+zank you?"
+
+"My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to find our host _hors de
+combat_," said the Countess, graciously.
+
+"Just when you wanted to go away too!" added Lady Alicia, sympathetically.
+
+The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.
+
+"Alas!" he replied, "it is hard indeed."
+
+"You must hurry up and get better," said the Countess, in her most
+cheering sick-room manner. "It won't do to disappoint the Brierleys, you
+know."
+
+"You must come down for _part_ of the time," smiled her daughter.
+
+These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron that he placed his
+hand on his brow and turned slightly away to conceal his emotion. At the
+same time Mr Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily into a
+chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his own face in his hand.
+
+Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions, and looked from one
+to the other with great concern.
+
+"Dear me!" said the Countess, "surely it isn't so very serious, Mr Bunker;
+it isn't _infectious_, is it?"
+
+The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without waiting for his
+more diplomatic friend to reply, he answered hastily, "Ach, no, it is bot
+a cold."
+
+Lady Grillyer's expression changed.
+
+"A cold!" she said. "Dear me, that can't be so very serious, Baron."
+
+"It is a bad cold," said the Baron.
+
+By this time the ladies' eyes were growing more used to the dim light, and
+Mr Bunker could see that they were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.
+
+"This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture," said the Countess, examining the
+bottle.
+
+The Baron incautiously admitted it was.
+
+"Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!" she exclaimed; "why, I never heard
+of taking a cough-mixture in such doses. Besides, your cough doesn't seem
+so very bad, Baron."
+
+"Ze doctor told me to take it so," replied the Baron.
+
+The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said, with a touch of suspicion
+in her voice, "I thought, Mr Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion."
+
+The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his friend.
+
+"In the Baron's desire to spare your feelings," replied Mr Bunker,
+gravely, "he has been a little inaccurate; that is not precisely an
+ordinary cough-mixture."
+
+"Oh," said the Countess.
+
+Lady Alicia's attention had been strongly attracted by the bath, and
+suddenly she exclaimed, "Why, there are goldfish in it!"
+
+The Baron's nerve was fast deserting him.
+
+"Ze doctor ordered zem," he began--"I mean, I am fond of fishes."
+
+The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man, and then turned
+severely to his friend.
+
+"_What_ is the matter with the Baron?" she demanded.
+
+Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic measures.
+
+"The dog was destroyed at once," he replied, with intense gravity. "It is
+therefore impossible to say exactly what is the matter."
+
+"_The dog!_" cried the two ladies together.
+
+"By this evening," he continued, "we shall know the worst--or the best."
+
+"What do you mean?" exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing a step from the
+bed.
+
+"I mean," replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration, "that this bath is
+a delicate test. No victim of the dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to
+look----"
+
+But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even as he was speaking the
+Baron's face had passed through a series of the most extraordinary
+expressions, which she not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.
+
+"It's beginning already!" she shrieked. "Alicia, my love, come quickly.
+How dare you expose us, sir?"
+
+"Calm yourselves. I assure you----" pleaded Mr Bunker, coming hastily after
+them, but they were at the door before him.
+
+The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying, "No, no, it is false!"
+he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a tweed suit only half concealed by his
+night-shirt, and, forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great
+splash among the startled goldfish.
+
+The Countess paused in the half-opened door and looked at him with horror
+that rapidly passed into intense indignation.
+
+"I am not ill!" he cried. "It vos zat rascal Bonker's plot. He made me! I
+haf not hydrophobia!"
+
+Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into hysterical giggles.
+For a moment her mother glared at the two young men in silence, and then
+only remarking, "I have never been so insulted before," she went out, and
+her daughter followed her.
+
+As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after roar of laughter,
+but the humorous side of the situation seemed to appeal very slightly to
+his injured friend.
+
+"You rascal! you villain!" he shouted, "zis is ze end of our friendship,
+Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell me, sare!"
+
+"My dear Baron," gasped Mr Bunker, "I could not put such an inartistic end
+to so fine a joke for the world."
+
+"You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not ze English name bad
+enoff for you!"
+
+With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and replied, still smiling:
+"After all, Baron, what harm has been done? I get all the blame, and the
+sympathy you wanted is sure to turn to you."
+
+"False friend!" thundered the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron!" said Mr Bunker, mildly, "whose fault was it that the plot
+miscarried? If you'd only left it all to me----"
+
+"Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor, it vas a trick to
+vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak to me nevermore!" And with that the
+infuriated nobleman rushed off to his own room.
+
+As there was no further sign of him for the next half hour, Mr Bunker,
+still smiling to himself at the recollection, went out to take the air;
+but just as he was about to descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia
+lingering in a passage. He turned back and went up to her.
+
+She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed to have a strain of
+anger running beneath it.
+
+"I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-day through the
+dead-letter office. Nothing was known about you at the address you gave."
+
+"I am not surprised," he replied.
+
+"Then it was false?"
+
+"As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn't happen to be
+mine."
+
+"Were you _ever_ in the Church?"
+
+"Not to my personal knowledge."
+
+"Yet you said you were?"
+
+"I was in an asylum."
+
+She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he smiled back at her with
+great amusement.
+
+"You have deceived _me_," she said, "and you have treated your other
+friend--who is far too good for you--disgracefully. Have you anything to say
+for yourself?"
+
+"Not a word," he replied, cheerfully.
+
+"You must _never_ treat me again as--as I let you."
+
+As a smile played for an instant about his face, she added quickly, "I
+don't _suppose_ I shall ever see you again. In future we are not _likely_
+to meet."
+
+"The lady and the lunatic?" said he. "Well, perhaps not. Good-bye, and
+better luck."
+
+"Good-bye," she answered coldly, and added as they parted, "my mother, of
+course, is extremely angry with you."
+
+"There," he said with a smile, "you see I still come in useful."
+
+She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly downstairs and out of the
+hotel.
+
+"It seems to me," he reflected, "that I shall have to set out on my
+adventures again alone."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron's natural good temper might have forgiven his friend, but all
+night he was a prey to something against which no temper is proof. The
+Baron was bitterly jealous. All through breakfast he never spoke a word,
+and when Mr Bunker asked him what train he intended to take, he replied
+curtly, as he went to the door, "Ze 5.30."
+
+"And where do you go now?"
+
+"Vat is zat to you? I go for a valk. I vould be alone."
+
+"Good-bye, then, Baron," said Mr Bunker. "I think I shall go up to town."
+
+"Go, zen," replied the Baron, opening the door; "I haf no furzer vish to
+see a treacherous _sponge_ zat vill neizer be true nor fight, bot jost
+takes money."
+
+He slammed the door and went out. If he had waited for a moment, he would
+have seen a look in Mr Bunker's face that he had never seen before. He
+half started from his chair to follow, and then sat down again and thought
+with his lips very tight set.
+
+All at once they broke into a smile that was grimmer than anything the
+Baron had known.
+
+"I accept your challenge, Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg," he said to
+himself; "but the weapons I shall choose myself."
+
+He took a telegraph form, wrote and despatched a wire, and then with
+considerable haste proceeded to pack. Within an hour he had left the
+hotel.
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+When a servant, later in the day, was performing, under the Baron's
+directions, the same office for him, a series of discoveries that still
+further disturbed his peace of mind were jointly made. Not only the more
+sporting portions of his wardrobe but his gun and cartridges as well, had
+vanished, and, search and storm as he liked, there was not a trace of them
+to be found.
+
+"Ze rascal!" he muttered; "I did not zink he was zief as well."
+
+It is hardly wonderful that he arrived at Brierley station in anything but
+an amiable frame of mind. There, to his great annoyance and surprise, he
+found no signs of Sir Richard's carriage; there were no stables near, and,
+after fuming for some time on the platform, he was forced to leave his
+luggage with the station-master and proceed on foot to Brierley Park.
+
+He arrived shortly before seven o'clock, after a dark and muddy tramp,
+and, still swearing under his breath, pulled the bell with indignant
+energy.
+
+"I am ze Baron von Blitzenberg, bot zere vas no carriage at ze station,"
+he informed the butler in his haughtiest tones.
+
+The man looked at him suspiciously.
+
+"The Baron arrived this morning," he said.
+
+"Ze Baron? Vat Baron? I am ze Baron!"
+
+"I shall fetch Sir Richard," said the butler, turning away.
+
+Presently a stout florid gentleman, accompanied by three friends, all
+evidently very curious and amused about something, came to the door, and,
+to the poor Baron's amazement and horror, he recognised in one of these
+none other than Mr Bunker, arrayed with much splendour in his own ornate
+shooting suit.
+
+"What do you want?" asked the florid gentleman, sternly.
+
+"Have I ze pleasure of addressing Sir Richard Brierley?" inquired the
+Baron, raising his hat and bowing profoundly.
+
+"You have."
+
+"Zen I must tell you zat I am ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+"Gom, gom, my man!" interposed Mr Bunker. "I know you. Zis man, Sir
+Richard, has before annoyed me. He is vat you call impostor, cracked; he
+has vollowed me from Germany. Go avay, man!"
+
+"You are impostor! You scoundrel, Bonker!" shouted the wrathful Baron. "He
+is no Baron, Sir Richard! Ha! Vould you again deceive me, Bonker?"
+
+"You must lock him up, I fear," said Mr Bunker. "To-morrow, my man, you
+vill see ze police."
+
+So completely did the Baron lose his head that he became almost
+inarticulate with rage: his protestations, however, were not of the
+slightest avail. That morning Sir Richard had received a wire informing
+him that the Baron was coming by an earlier train than he had originally
+intended, and, since his arrival, the spurious nobleman had so ingratiated
+himself with his host that Sir Richard was filled with nothing but
+sympathy for him in his persecution. After a desperate struggle the
+unfortunate Rudolph was overpowered and conveyed in the undignified
+fashion known as the frog's march to a room in a remote wing, there to
+pass the night under lock and key.
+
+"The scoundrelly German impostor!" exclaimed a young man, a fellow visitor
+of the Baron Bunker's, to a tall, military-looking gentleman.
+
+Colonel Savage seemed lost in thought.
+
+"It is a curious thing, Trelawney," he replied, at length, "that the
+footman who attends the Baron should have told my man--who, of course, told
+me--that a number of his things are marked 'Francis Beveridge.' It is also
+rather strange that this impostor should have known so little of the
+Baron's movements as to arrive several hours after him, assuming he had
+hatched a plot to impersonate him."
+
+"But the man's obviously mad."
+
+"Must be," said the colonel.
+
+The house party were assembled in the drawing-room waiting for dinner to
+be announced. The bogus Baron was engaged in an animated discussion with
+Colonel Savage on the subject of Bavarian shootings, and the colonel
+having omitted to inform him that he had some personal experience of
+these, Mr Bunker was serving up such of his friend's anecdotes as he could
+remember with sauce more peculiarly his own.
+
+"Five hondred vild boars," he was saying, "eight hondred brace of
+partridges, many bears, and rabbits so moch zat it took five veeks to bury
+zem. All zese ve did shoot before breakfast, colonel. Aftair breakfast
+again ve did go out----"
+
+But at that moment his attention was sharply arrested by a question of
+Lady Brierley's.
+
+"Has Dr Escott arrived?" she asked.
+
+The Baron Bunker paused, and in spite of his habitual coolness, the
+observant colonel noticed that he started ever so slightly.
+
+"He came half an hour ago," replied Sir Richard. "Ah, here he is."
+
+As he spoke, a well-remembered figure came into the room, and after a
+welcome from his hostess, the dinner procession started.
+
+"Whoever is that tall fair man in front?" Dr Escott asked his partner as
+they crossed the hall.
+
+"Oh, that's the Baron von Blitzenberg: such an amusing man! We are all in
+love with him already."
+
+All through dinner the spurious Baron saw that Dr Escott's eyes turned
+continually and curiously on him; yet never for an instant did his spirits
+droop or his conversation flag. Witty and charming as ever, he discoursed
+in his comical foreign accent to the amusement of all within hearing, and
+by the time the gentlemen adjourned to the billiard-room, he had
+established the reputation of being the most delightful German ever seen.
+Yet Dr Escott grew more suspicious and bewildered, and Mr Bunker felt that
+he was being narrowly watched. The skill at billiards of a certain Francis
+Beveridge used to be the object of the doctor's unbounded admiration, and
+it was with the liveliest interest that he watched a game between Colonel
+Savage and the Baron.
+
+That nobleman knew well the danger of displaying his old dexterity, and to
+the onlookers it soon became apparent that this branch of his education
+had been neglected. He not only missed the simplest shots, but seemed very
+ignorant of the rules of the English game, and in consequence he came in
+for a little good-natured chaff from Sir Richard and Trelawney. When the
+colonel's score stood at 90 and the Baron had scarcely reached 25
+Trelawney cried, "I'll bet you ten to one you don't win, Baron!"
+
+"What in?" asked the Baron, and the colonel noticed that for the first
+time be pronounced a _w_ correctly.
+
+"Sovereigns," said Trelawney, gaily.
+
+The temptation was irresistible.
+
+"Done!" said the Baron. With a professional disregard for conventions he
+bolted the white into the middle pocket, leaving his own ball nicely
+beside the red. Down in its turn went the red, and Mr Bunker was on the
+spot. Three followed three in monotonous succession, Trelawney's face
+growing longer and Dr Escott getting more and more excited, till with a
+smile Mr Bunker laid down his cue, a sensational winner.
+
+His victory was received in silence: Trelawney handed over two five-pound
+notes without a word, and the colonel returned to his whisky-and-soda. Dr
+Escott could contain himself no longer, and whispering something to Sir
+Richard, the two left the room.
+
+Imperturbable as ever, Mr Bunker talked gaily for a few minutes to an
+unresponsive audience, and then, remarking that he would join the ladies,
+left the room.
+
+A minute or two later Sir Richard, with an anxious face, returned with Dr
+Escott.
+
+"Where is the Baron?" he asked.
+
+"Gone to join the ladies," replied Trelawney, adding under his breath,
+"d---- n him!"
+
+But the Baron was not with the ladies, nor, search the house as they
+might, was there a trace to be seen of that accomplished nobleman.
+
+"He has gone!" said Sir Richard.
+
+"What the deuce is the meaning of it?" exclaimed Trelawney.
+
+Colonel Savage smiled grimly and suggested, "Perhaps he wants to give the
+impostor an innings."
+
+"Dr Escott, I think, can tell you," replied the baronet.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the doctor, "the man whom you have met as the Baron von
+Blitzenberg is none other than a most cunning and determined lunatic. He
+escaped from the asylum where I am at present assistant doctor, after all
+but murdering me; he has been seen in London since, but how he came to
+impersonate the unfortunate gentleman whom you locked up this afternoon I
+cannot say."
+
+Before they broke up for the night the genuine Baron, released from
+confinement and soothed by the humblest apologies and a heavy supper,
+recounted the main events in Mr Beveridge _alias_ Bunker's brief career in
+town. On his exploits in St Egbert's he felt some delicacy in touching,
+but at the end of what was after all only a fragmentary and one-sided
+narrative, even the defrauded Trelawney could not but admit that, whatever
+the departed gentleman's failings, his talents at least were worthy of a
+better cause.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The party at Brierley Park had gone at last to bed. The Baron was
+installed in his late usurper's room, and from the clock-tower the hour of
+three had just been tolled. Sympathy and Sir Richard's cellar had greatly
+mollified the Baron's wrath; he had almost begun to see the humorous side
+of his late experience; as a rival Mr Bunker was extinct, and with an easy
+mind and a placid smile he had fallen asleep some two hours past.
+
+The fire burned low, and for long nothing but the occasional sigh of the
+wind in the trees disturbed the silence. At length, had the Baron been
+awake, he might have heard the stealthiest of footsteps in the corridor
+outside. Then they stopped; his door was gently opened, and first a head
+and then a whole man slipped in.
+
+Still the Baron slept, dreaming peacefully of his late companion. They
+were driving somewhere in a hansom, Mr Bunker was telling one of his most
+amusing stories, when there came a shock, the hansom seemed to turn a
+somersault, and the Baron awoke. At first he thought he must be dreaming
+still; the electric light had been turned on and the room was bright as
+day, but, more bewildering yet, Mr Bunker was seated on his bed, gazing at
+him with an expression of thoughtful amusement.
+
+"Well, Baron," he said, "I trust you are comfortable in these excellent
+quarters."
+
+The Baron, half awake and wholly astonished, was unable to collect his
+ideas in time to make any reply.
+
+"But remember," continued Mr Bunker, "you have a reputation to live up to.
+I have set the standard high for Bavarian barons."
+
+The indignant Baron at last recovered his wits.
+
+"If you do not go away _at vonce_," he said, raising himself on his
+elbows, "I shall raise ze house upon you!"
+
+"Have you forgotten that you are talking to a dangerous lunatic, who
+probably never stirs without his razor?"
+
+The Baron looked at him and turned a little pale. He made no further
+movement, but answered stoutly enough, "Vat do you vant?"
+
+"In the first place, I want my brush and comb, a few clothes, and my
+hand-bag. Events happened rather more quickly this evening than I had
+anticipated."
+
+"Take zem."
+
+"I should also like," continued Mr Bunker, unmoved, "to have a little talk
+with you. I think I owe you some explanation--perhaps an apology or two--and
+I'm afraid it's my last chance."
+
+"Zay it zen."
+
+"Of course I understand that you make no hostile demonstration till I am
+finished? A hunted man must take precautions, you know."
+
+"I vill let you go."
+
+"Thanks, Baron."
+
+Mr Bunker folded his arms, leaned his back against the foot of the bed,
+and began in his half-bantering way, "I have amused you, Baron, now and
+then, you must admit?"
+
+The Baron made no reply.
+
+"That I place to my credit, and I think few debts are better worth
+repaying. On the other hand, I confess I have subsisted for some time
+entirely on your kindness. I'm afraid that alone counterbalances the debt,
+and when it comes to my being the means of your taking a bath in mixed
+company and spending an evening in a locked room, there's no doubt the
+balance is greatly on your side."
+
+"I zink so," observed the Baron.
+
+"So I'll tell you a true story, a favour with which I haven't indulged any
+one for some considerable time."
+
+The Baron coughed, but said nothing.
+
+"My biography for all practical purposes," Mr Bunker continued, "begins in
+that sequestered retreat, Clankwood Asylum. How and with whom I came there
+I haven't the very faintest recollection. I simply woke up from an
+extraordinary drowsiness to find myself recovering from a sharp attack of
+what I may most euphoniously call mental excitement. The original cause of
+it is very dim in my mind, and has, so far as I remember, nothing to do
+with the rest of the story. The attack was very short, I believe. I soon
+came to something more or less like myself; only, Baron, the singular
+thing is, that it was to all intents and purposes a new self--whether
+better or worse, my faulty memory does not permit me to say. I'd clean
+forgotten who I was and all about me. I found myself called Francis
+Beveridge, but that wasn't my old name, I know."
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed the Baron, growing interested despite himself.
+
+"And the most remarkable thing of all is that up till this day I haven't
+the very vaguest notion what my real name is."
+
+"Zo?" said the Baron. "Bot vy should they change it?"
+
+"There you've laid your finger on the mystery, Baron. Why? Heaven knows: I
+wish I did!"
+
+The Baron looked at him with undisguised interest.
+
+"Strange!" he said, thoughtfully.
+
+"Damnably strange. I found myself compelled to live in an asylum and
+answer to a new name, and really, don't you know, under the circumstances
+I could give no very valid reason for getting out. I seemed to have
+blossomed there like one of the asylum plants. I couldn't possibly have
+been more identified with the place. Besides, I'm free to confess that for
+some time my reason, taking it all in all, wasn't particularly valid on
+any point. By George, I had a funny time! Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+His mirth was so infectious that the Baron raised his voice in a hearty
+"Ha, ha!" and then stopped abruptly, and said cautiously, "Haf a care,
+Bonker, zey may hear!"
+
+"However, Baron," Mr Bunker continued, "out I was determined to get, and
+out I came in the manner of which perhaps my friend Escott has already
+informed you."
+
+The Baron grinned and nodded.
+
+"I came up to town, and on my very first evening I had the good fortune to
+meet the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg--as perhaps you may remember. In my
+own defence, Baron, I may fairly plead that since I could remember nothing
+about my past career, I was entitled to supply the details from my
+imagination. After all, I have no proof that some of my stories may not
+have been correct. I used this privilege freely in Clankwood, and, in a
+word, since I couldn't tell the truth if I wanted to, I quenched the
+desire."
+
+"You hombog!" said the Baron, not without a note of admiration.
+
+"I was, and I gloried in it. Baron, if you ever want to know how ample a
+thing life can be, become a certified lunatic! You are quite irresponsible
+for your debts, your crimes, and, not least, your words. It certainly
+enlarges one's horizon. All this time, I may say, I was racking my
+brains--which, by the way, have been steadily growing saner in other
+matters--for some recollections of my previous whereabouts, my career, if I
+had any, and, above all, of my name."
+
+"Can you remember nozing?"
+
+"I can remember a large country house which I think belonged to me, but in
+what part of the country it stands I haven't the slightest recollection. I
+can't remember any family, and as no one has inquired for me, I don't
+suppose I had any. Many incidents--sporting, festive, amusing, and
+discreditable--I remember distinctly, and many faces, but there's nothing
+to piece them together with. Can you recall one or two incidents in town,
+when people spoke to me or bowed to me?"
+
+"Yes, vell; I vondered zen."
+
+"I suppose they knew me. In a general sort of way I knew them. But when a
+man doesn't know his own name, and will probably be replaced in an asylum
+if he's identified, there isn't much encouragement for greeting old
+friends. And do you remember my search for a name in the hotel at St
+Egbert's?"
+
+"Yah--zat is, yes."
+
+"It was for my own I was looking."
+
+"You found it not?"
+
+"No. The worst of it is, I can't even remember what letter it began with.
+Sometimes I think it was M, or perhaps N, and sometimes I'm almost sure it
+was E. It will come to me some day, no doubt, Baron, but till it does I
+shall have to wander about a nameless man, looking for it. And after all,
+I am not without the consolations of a certain useful, workaday kind of
+philosophy."
+
+He rose from the bed and smiled humorously at his friend.
+
+"And now, Baron," he said, "it only remains to offer you such thanks and
+apologies as a lunatic may, and then clear out before the cock crows.
+These are my brushes, I think."
+
+There was still something on the Baron's mind: he lay for a moment
+watching Mr Bunker collect a few odds and ends and put them rapidly into a
+small bag, and then blurted out suddenly, "Ze Lady Alicia--do you loff
+her?"
+
+"By Jove!" exclaimed Mr Bunker, "I'd forgotten all about her. I ought to
+have told you that I once met her before, when she showed
+sympathy--practical sympathy, I may add--for an unfortunate gentleman in
+Clankwood. That's all."
+
+"You do not loff her?" persisted the Baron.
+
+"I, my dear chap? No. You are most welcome to her--_and_ the countess."
+
+"Does she not loff you?"
+
+"On my honour, no. I told her a few early reminiscences; she happened to
+discover they were not what is generally known as true, and took so absurd
+a view of the case that I doubt whether she would speak to me again if she
+met me. In fact, Baron, if I read the omens aright--and I've had some
+experience--you only need courage and a voice."
+
+The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of the clothes as the Baron
+sprang out on to the floor, and the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in
+his embrace.
+
+"Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected, I haf not been ze true
+friend; you have sairved me right to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a
+Baron to gom! You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have varmed my
+heart. My dear frient!"
+
+To tell the truth, Mr Bunker looked, for the first time in their
+acquaintance, a little ill at ease. He laughed, but it sounded affected.
+
+"My dear fellow--hang it! You'd make me out a martyr. As a matter of fact,
+I've been such a thorn as very few people would stand in their flesh.
+There's nothing to forgive, my dear Baron, and a lot to thank you for."
+
+"I haf been rude, Bonker; I haf insulted you! You forgif me?"
+
+"With all my heart, if you think it's needed, but----"
+
+"And you vill not go now? You vill stay here?"
+
+"What, two Barons at once? My dear chap, we'd merely confuse the butler."
+
+"Ach, you vill joke, you hombog! But you most stay!"
+
+"And what about my friend, Dr Escott? No, Baron, it would only mean
+breakfast and the next train to Clankwood."
+
+"Zey vill not take you ven you tell zem! I shall insist viz Sir Richard!"
+
+"The law is the law, Baron, and I'm a certified lunatic. Here we must part
+till the weather clears; and mind, you mustn't say a word about my coming
+to see you."
+
+The Baron looked at him disconsolately.
+
+"You most really go, Bonker?"
+
+"Really, Baron."
+
+"And vere to?"
+
+"To London town again by the milk train."
+
+"And vat vill you do zere?"
+
+"Look for my name."
+
+"Bot how?"
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated.
+
+"I have a little clue," he said at last, "only a thread, but I'll try it
+for what it's worth."
+
+"Haf you money enoff?"
+
+"Thanks to your generosity and my skill at billiards, yes, which reminds
+me that I must return poor Trelawney's ten pounds some day. At present, I
+can't afford to be scrupulous. So, you see, I'm provided for."
+
+"Cigars at least, Bonker! You most smoke, my frient vizout a name!"
+
+The Baron, night-shirted and barefooted as he was, dived into his
+portmanteau and produced a large box of cigars.
+
+"You like zese, Bonker. Zey are your own choice. Smoke zem and zink of
+me!"
+
+"A few, Baron, would be a pleasant reminiscence," said his friend, with a
+smile, "if you really insist."
+
+"All, Bonker,--I vill not keep vun! I can get more. No, you most take zem
+all!"
+
+Mr Bunker opened his bag and put in the box without a word.
+
+"You most write," said the Baron, "tell me vere you are. I shall not tell
+any soul, bot ven I can, I shall gom up, and ve shall sup togezzer vunce
+more. Pairhaps ve may haf anozzer adventure, ha, ha!"
+
+The Baron's laugh was almost too hearty to be true.
+
+"I shall let you know, as soon as I find a room. It won't be in the
+Mayonaise this time! Good-bye: good sport and luck in love!"
+
+"Good-bye, my frient, good-bye," said the Baron, squeezing his hand.
+
+His friend was half out of the door when he turned, and said with an
+intonation quite foreign either to Beveridge or Bunker, and yet which came
+very pleasantly, "I forgot to warn you of one thing when I advised you to
+try the _r�le_ of certified lunatic--you are not likely to make so good a
+friend as I have."
+
+He shut the door noiselessly and was gone.
+
+The Baron stood in the middle of the floor for fully five minutes, looking
+blankly at the closed door; then with a sigh he turned out the light and
+tumbled into bed again.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART IV.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Dover express was nearing town: evening had begun to draw in, and from
+the wayside houses people saw the train roar by like a huge glowworm; but
+they could hardly guess that it was hurrying two real actors to the climax
+of a real comedy.
+
+From the opposite sides of a first-class carriage these two looked
+cheerfully at one another. The Channel was safely behind them, London was
+close ahead, and the piston of the engine seemed to thump a triumphal air.
+
+"We've done it, Twiddel, my boy!" said the one.
+
+"Thank Heaven!" replied the other.
+
+"_And_ myself," added his friend.
+
+"Yes," said Twiddel; "you played your part uncommonly well, Welsh."
+
+"It was the deuce of a fine spree!" sighed Welsh.
+
+"The deuce," assented Twiddel.
+
+"I'm only sorry it's all over," Welsh went on, gazing regretfully up at
+the lamp of the carriage. "I'd give the remains of my character and my
+chance of a public funeral to be starting again from Paris by the morning
+train!"
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+"With the same head you had that morning?"
+
+"Yes, by George! Even with the same mile of dusty gullet!"
+
+"It's all over now," said Twiddel, philosophically, and yet rather
+nervously--"at least the amusing part of it."
+
+"All the fun, my boy, all the fun. All the dinners and the drinks, and the
+touching of hats to the aristocratic travellers, and the girls that
+sighed, and the bowing and scraping. Do you remember the sporting baronet
+who knew my uncle? Now, I'm plain Robert Welsh, whose uncles, as far as I
+am aware, don't know a baronet among 'em."
+
+He smiled a little sardonically.
+
+"And the baron at Fogelschloss," said Twiddel.
+
+"Who insisted on learning my pedigree back to Alfred the Great! Gad, I
+gave it him, though, and I doubt whether the real Essington could have
+done as much. I'd rather surprise some of these noblemen if I turned up
+again in my true character!"
+
+"Thank the Lord, we're not likely to meet them again!" exclaimed the
+doctor, devoutly.
+
+"No," said Welsh; "here endeth the second lesson."
+
+His friend, who had been well brought up, looked a trifle uncomfortable at
+this quotation.
+
+"I say," he remarked a few minutes later, "we haven't finished yet. We've
+got to get the man out again, and hand him back to his friends."
+
+"Cured," said Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+"I wonder how he is?"
+
+"We'll soon see."
+
+They fell silent again, while the train hurried nearer and nearer London
+town. Welsh seemed to be musing on some nice point, it might be of
+conscience, it might also conceivably be of a more practical texture. At
+last he said, "There's just one thing, old man. What about the fee?"
+
+"I'll get a cheque for it, I suppose," his friend replied, with an almost
+excessive air of mastery over the problem.
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Welsh; "you know what I mean. It's a delicate question
+and all that, but, hang it, it's got to be answered."
+
+"What has?"
+
+"The division of the spoil."
+
+Twiddel looked dignified.
+
+"I'll see you get your share, old man," he answered, easily.
+
+"But what share?"
+
+"You suggested �100, I think."
+
+"Out of �500--when I've done all the deceiving and told all the lies! Come,
+old man!"
+
+"Well, what do you want?"
+
+"Do you remember a certain crisis when we'd made a slip----"
+
+"You'd made a slip!"
+
+"_We_ had made a slip, and you wanted to chuck the game and bolt? Do you
+remember also the terms I proposed when I offered to beard the local god
+almighty in his lair and explain it all away, and how he became our bosom
+pal and we were saved?"
+
+"Well?"
+
+"�300 to me, �200 to you," said Welsh, decisively.
+
+"Rot, old man. I'll share fairly, if you insist. �250 apiece, will that
+do?"
+
+Welsh said nothing, but his face was no longer the countenance of the
+jovial adventurer.
+
+"It will have to, I suppose," he replied, at length.
+
+It was with this little cloud on the horizon that they saw the lights of
+London twinkle through the windows, and were carried into the clamour of
+the platforms.
+
+They both drove first to Twiddel's rooms; and as they looked out once more
+on the life and lights and traffic of the streets, their faces cleared
+again.
+
+"We'll have a merry evening!" cried Welsh.
+
+"A little supper," suggested Twiddel; "a music-hall----"
+
+"Et cetera," added Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+The doctor had written of their coming, and they found a fire in the back
+room, and the table laid.
+
+"Ah," cried Welsh, "this looks devilish comfortable."
+
+"A letter for me," said Twiddel; "from Billson, I think."
+
+He read it and threw it to his friend, remarking, "I call this rather cool
+of him."
+
+Welsh read--
+
+"DEAR GEORGE,--I am just off for three weeks' holiday. Sorry for leaving
+your practice, but I think it can look after itself till you return.
+
+"You have only had two patients, and one fee between them. The second man
+vanished mysteriously. I shall tell you about it when I come back. He
+boned a bill, too, I fancy, but the story will keep.
+
+"I am looking forward to hearing the true tale of your adventures. Good
+luck to you.--Yours ever,
+
+                                                          THOMAS BILLSON."
+
+"Boned a bill?" exclaimed Welsh. "What bill, I wonder?"
+
+"Something that came when I was away, I suppose. Hang it, I think Billson
+might have looked after things better!"
+
+"It sounds queer," said Welsh, reflectively; "I wonder what it was?"
+
+"Confound Billson, he might have told me," observed the doctor. "But, I
+say, you know we have something more practical to see to."
+
+"Getting the man out again?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Well, let's have a little grub first."
+
+Twiddel rang the bell, and the frowsy little maid entered, carrying a
+letter on a tray.
+
+"Dinner," said he.
+
+"Please, sir," began the maid, holding out the tray, "this come for you
+near a month agow, but Missis she bin and forgot to send it hafter you."
+
+"Confound her!" said Twiddel, taking the letter.
+
+He looked at the envelope, and remarked with a little start of nervous
+excitement, "From Dr Congleton."
+
+"News of Mr Beveridge," laughed Welsh.
+
+The doctor read the first few lines, and then, as if he had got an
+electric shock, the letter fell from his hand, and an expression of the
+most utter and lively consternation came over his face.
+
+"Heavens!" he ejaculated, "it's all up."
+
+"What's up?" cried Welsh, snatching at the letter.
+
+"He's run away!"
+
+Welsh looked at him for a moment in some astonishment, and then burst out
+laughing.
+
+"What a joke!" he cried; "I don't see anything to make a fuss about. We're
+jolly well rid of him."
+
+"The fee! I won't get a penny till I bring him back. And the whole thing
+will be found out!"
+
+As the full meaning of this predicament burst upon Welsh, his face
+underwent a change by no means pleasant to watch. For a full minute he
+swore, and then an ominous silence fell upon the room.
+
+Twiddel was the first to recover himself.
+
+"Let me see the letter," he said; "I haven't finished it."
+
+Welsh read it aloud--
+
+"DEAR TWIDDEL,--I regret to inform you that the patient, Francis Beveridge,
+whom you placed under my care, has escaped from Clankwood. We have made
+every inquiry consistent with strict privacy, but unfortunately have not
+yet been able to lay our hands upon him. We only know that he left
+Ashditch Junction in the London express, and was seen walking out of St
+Euston's Cross. How he has been able to maintain himself in concealment
+without money or clothes, I am unable to imagine.
+
+"As no inquiries have been made for him by his cousin Mr Welsh, or any
+other of his friends or relatives, I am writing to you that you may inform
+them, and I hope that this letter may follow you abroad without delay. I
+may add that the circumstances of his escape showed most unusual cunning,
+and could not possibly have been guarded against.
+
+"Trusting that you are having a pleasant holiday, I am, yours very truly,
+
+                                                   ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON."
+
+The two looked at one another in silence for a minute, and then Welsh
+said, fiercely, "You must catch him again, Twiddel. Do you think I am
+going to have all my risk and trouble for nothing?"
+
+"_I_ must catch him! Do you suppose _I_ let him loose?"
+
+"You must catch him, all the same."
+
+"I shan't bother my head about him," answered Twiddel, with the
+recklessness of despair.
+
+"You won't? You want to have the story known, I suppose?"
+
+"I don't care if it is."
+
+Welsh looked at him for a minute: then he jumped up and exclaimed, "You
+need a drink, old man. Let's hurry up that slavey."
+
+With the first course their countenances cleared a little, with the second
+they were almost composed, by the end of dinner they had started
+plot-hatching hopefully again.
+
+"It's any odds on the man's still being in town," said Welsh. "He had no
+money or clothes, and evidently he hasn't gone to any of his friends, or
+the whole story would have been out. Now, there is nowhere where a man can
+lie low so well, especially if he is hard up, as London. I can answer from
+experience. He is hardly likely to be in the West End, or the best class
+of suburbs, so we've something to go upon at once. We must go to a private
+inquiry office and put men on his track, and then we must take the town in
+beats ourselves. So much is clear; do you see?"
+
+"And hadn't we better find out whether anything more is known at
+Clankwood?" suggested Twiddel. "Dr Congleton wrote a month ago; perhaps
+they have caught him by this time."
+
+"Hardly likely, I'm afraid; he'd have written to you if they had. Still,
+we can but ask."
+
+"But, I say!" the doctor suddenly exclaimed, "people may find out that I'm
+back without him."
+
+Welsh was equal to the emergency.
+
+"You must leave again at once," he said decisively, rising from the table;
+"and there's no good wasting time, either."
+
+"What do you mean?" asked the bewildered doctor, who had not yet
+assimilated the criminal point of view.
+
+"We'll put our luggage straight on to a cab, drive off to other rooms--I
+know a cheap place that will do--and if by any chance inquiries are made,
+people must be told that you are still abroad. Nobody must hear of your
+coming home to-night."
+
+"Is it----" began Twiddel, dubiously.
+
+"Is it what?" snapped his friend.
+
+"Is it worth it?"
+
+"Is �500, not to speak of two reputations, worth it! Come on!"
+
+The unfortunate doctor sighed, and rose too. He was beginning to think
+that the nefarious acquisition of fees might have drawbacks after all.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The chronicle must now go back a few days and follow another up-express.
+
+"I must either be a clergyman or a policeman," Mr Bunker reflected, in the
+corner of his carriage; "they seem to me to be on the whole the two least
+molested professions. Each certainly has a livery which, if its occupier
+is ordinarily judicious, ought to serve as a certificate of sanity. To me
+all policemen are precisely alike, but I daresay they know them apart in
+the force, and as all the beats and crossings are presumably taken
+already, I might excite suspicion by my mere superfluity. Besides, a
+theatrical costumier's uniform would possibly lack some ridiculous but
+essential detail."
+
+He lit another cigar and looked humorously out of the window.
+
+"I shall take orders. An amateur theatrical clergyman's costume will be
+more comfortable, and probably less erroneous. They allow them some
+latitude, I believe; and I don't suppose there are any visible ordination
+scars whose absence would give me away. I shall certainly study the first
+reverend brother I meet to see."
+
+Thus wisely ruminating, he arrived in London at a very early hour on a
+chilly morning, and drove straight to a small hotel near King's Cross,
+where the landlord was much gratified at receiving so respectable a guest
+as the Rev. Alexander Butler. ("I must begin with a B." said Mr Bunker to
+himself; "I think it's lucky.")
+
+It is true the reverend gentleman was in evening clothes, while his hat
+and coat had a singularly secular, not to say fashionable, appearance;
+but, as he mentioned casually in the course of some extremely affable
+remarks, he had been dining in a country house, and had not thought it
+worth while changing before he left. After breakfasting he dressed himself
+in an equally secular suit of tweeds and went out, he mentioned
+incidentally, to call at his tailor's for his professional habit, which he
+seemed surprised to learn had not yet been forwarded to the hotel.
+
+A visit to a certain well-known firm of theatrical costumiers was followed
+by his reappearance in a cab accompanied by a bulky brown paper parcel;
+and presently he emerged from his room attired more consistently with his
+office, much to his own satisfaction, for, as he observed, "I cannot say I
+approve of clergymen masquerading as laymen."
+
+His opinion on the converse circumstance was not expressed.
+
+Much to his landlord's disappointment, he informed him that he should
+probably leave again that afternoon, and then he went out for a walk.
+
+About half an hour later he was once more in the street where, not so very
+long ago, a very exciting cab-race had finished. He strolled slowly past
+Dr Twiddel's house. The blinds of the front room were down; at that hour
+there was no sign of life about it, and he saw nothing at all to arrest
+his attention. Then he looked down the other side of the street, and to
+his great satisfaction spied a card, with the legend "Apartments to let,"
+in one of the first-floor windows of a house immediately opposite.
+
+He rang the bell, and in a moment a rotund and loquacious landlady
+appeared. Yes, the drawing-room was to let; would the reverend gentleman
+come up and see it? Mr Bunker went up, and approved. They readily agreed
+upon terms, and the landlady, charmed with her new lodger's appearance and
+manners, no less than with the respectability of his profession, proceeded
+to descant at some length on the quiet, comfort, and numerous other
+advantages of the apartments.
+
+"Just the very plice you wants, sir. We 'ave 'ad clerical gentlemen 'ere
+before, sir; in fact, there's one a-staying 'ere now, second floor,--you
+may know of 'im, sir,--the Reverend Mr John Duggs; a very pleasant
+gentleman you'll find him, sir. I'll tell 'im you're 'ere, sir; 'e'd be
+sure to like to meet another gentleman of the syme cloth, has they say."
+
+Somehow or other the Rev. Mr Butler failed to display the hearty pleasure
+at this announcement that the worthy Mrs Gabbon had naturally expected.
+
+Aloud he merely said, "Indeed," politely, but with no unusual interest.
+
+Within himself he reflected, "The deuce take Mr John Duggs! However, I
+want the rooms, and a man must risk something."
+
+As a precautionary measure he visited a second-hand bookseller on his way
+back, and purchased a small assortment of the severest-looking works on
+theology they kept in stock; and these, with his slender luggage, he
+brought round to Mrs Gabbon's in the course of the afternoon.
+
+He looked carefully out of his sitting-room window, but the doctor's
+blinds were still down, and he saw no one coming or going about the house;
+so he began his inquiries by calling up his landlady.
+
+"I have been troubled with lumbago, Mrs Gabbon," he began.
+
+"Dearie me, sir," said Mrs Gabbon, "I'm sorry to 'ear that; you that looks
+so 'ealthy too! Well, one never knows what's be'ind a 'appy hexterior,
+does one, sir?"
+
+"No, Mrs Gabbon," replied Mr Bunker, solemnly; "one never knows what even
+a clergyman's coat conceals."
+
+"That's very true, sir. In the midst of life we are in----"
+
+"Lumbago," interposed Mr Bunker.
+
+Mrs Gabbon looked a trifle startled.
+
+"Well," he continued with the same gravity, "I may unfortunately have
+occasion to consult a doctor----"
+
+"There's Dr Smith," interrupted Mrs Gabbon, her equanimity quite restored
+by his ecclesiastical tone and the mention of ailments; "'e attended my
+poor dear 'usband hall through his last illness; an huncommon clever
+doctor, sir, as I ought to know, sir, bein'----"
+
+"No doubt an excellent man, Mrs Gabbon; but I should like to know of one
+as near at hand as possible. Now I see the name of a Dr Twiddel----"
+
+"I wouldn't recommend 'im, sir," said Mrs Gabbon, pursing her mouth.
+
+"Indeed? Why not?"
+
+"'E attended Mrs Brown's servant-girl, sir,--she bein' the lady as has the
+'ouse next door,--and what he give _'er_ didn't do no good. Mrs Brown tell
+me 'erself."
+
+"Still, in an emergency----"
+
+"Besides which, he ain't at 'ome, sir."
+
+"Where has he gone?"
+
+"Abroad, they do say, sir; though I don't rightly know much about 'im."
+
+"Has he been away long?"
+
+Mrs Gabbon considered.
+
+"It must 'ave bin before the middle of November he went, sir."
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed Mr Bunker, keenly, though apparently more to himself than
+his landlady.
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir?"
+
+"The middle of November, you say? That's a long holiday for a doctor to
+take."
+
+"'E 'avn't no practice to speak of,--not as I knows of, leastways."
+
+"What sort of a man is he--young or old?"
+
+"By my opinion, sir, 'e's too young. I don't 'old by them young doctors.
+Now Dr Smith, sir----"
+
+"Dr Twiddel is quite a young man, then?"
+
+"What I'd call little better than a boy, sir. They tell me they lets 'em
+loose very young nowadays."
+
+"About twenty-five, say?"
+
+"'E might be that, sir; but I don't know much about 'im, sir. Now Dr
+Smith, sir, 'e's different."
+
+In fact at this point Mrs Gabbon showed such a tendency to turn the
+conversation back to the merits of Dr Smith and the precise nature of Mr
+Bunker's ailment, that her lodger, in despair, requested her to bring up a
+cup of tea as speedily as possible.
+
+"Before the middle of November," he said to himself. "It is certainly a
+curious coincidence."
+
+To a gentleman of Mr Bunker's sociable habits and active mind, the
+prospect of sitting day by day in the company of his theological treatises
+and talkative landlady, and watching an apparently uninhabited house,
+seemed at first sight even less entertaining than a return to Clankwood.
+But, as he said of himself, he possessed a kind of easy workaday
+philosophy, and, besides that, an apparently irresistible attraction for
+the incidents of life.
+
+He had barely finished his cup of tea, and was sitting over the fire
+smoking one of the Baron's cigars and looking through one of the few books
+he had brought that bore no relation to divinity, his feet high upon the
+side of the mantelpiece, his ready-made costume perhaps a little more
+unbuttoned than the strictest propriety might approve, and a stiff glass
+of whisky-and-water at his elbow, when there came a rap at his door.
+
+In response to his "Come in," a middle-aged gentleman, dressed in clerical
+attire, entered. He had a broad, bearded face, a dull eye, and an
+indescribably average aspect.
+
+"The devil! Mr John Duggs himself," thought Mr Bunker, hastily adopting a
+more conventional attitude and feeling for his button-holes.
+
+"Ah--er--Mr Butler, I believe?" said the stranger, with an apologetic air.
+
+"The same," replied Mr Bunker, smiling affably.
+
+"I," continued his visitor, advancing with more confidence, "am Mr Duggs.
+I am dwelling at present in the apartment immediately above you, and
+hearing of the arrival of a fellow-clergyman, through my worthy friend Mrs
+Gabbon, I have taken the liberty of calling. She gave me to understand
+that you were not undesirous of making my acquaintance, Mr Butler."
+
+"The deuce, she did!" thought Mr Butler. Aloud he answered most politely,
+"I am honoured, Mr Duggs. Won't you sit down?"
+
+First casting a wary eye upon a chair, Mr Duggs seated himself carefully
+on the edge of it.
+
+"It is quite evident," thought Mr Bunker, "that he has spotted something
+wrong. I believe a bobby would have been safer after all."
+
+He assumed the longest face he could draw, and remarked sententiously,
+"The weather has been unpleasantly cold of late, Mr Duggs."
+
+He flattered himself that his guest seemed instantly more at his ease.
+Certainly he replied with as much cordiality as a man with such a dull eye
+could be supposed to display.
+
+"It has, Mr Butler; in fact I have suffered from a chill for some weeks.
+Ahem!"
+
+"Have something to drink," suggested Mr Bunker, sympathetically. "I'm
+trying a little whisky myself, as a cure for cold."
+
+"I--ah--I am sorry. I do not touch spirits."
+
+"I, on the contrary, am glad to hear it. Too few of our clergymen nowadays
+support the cause of temperance by example."
+
+Mr Bunker felt a little natural pride in this happily expressed sentiment,
+but his visitor merely turned his cold eye on the whisky bottle, and
+breathed heavily.
+
+"Confound him!" he thought; "I'll give him something to snort at if he is
+going to conduct himself like this."
+
+"Have a cigar?" he asked aloud.
+
+Mr Duggs seemed to regard the cigar-box a little less unkindly than the
+whisky bottle; but after a careful look at it he replied, "I am afraid
+they seem a little too strong for me. I am a light smoker, Mr Butler."
+
+"Really," smiled Mr Bunker; "so many virtues in one room reminds me of the
+virgins of Gomorrah."
+
+"I beg your pardon? The what?" asked Mr Duggs, with a startled stare.
+
+Mr Bunker suspected that he had made a slip in his biblical reminiscences,
+but he continued to smile imperturbably, and inquired with a perfect air
+of surprise, "Haven't you read the novel I referred to?"
+
+Mr Duggs appeared a little relieved, but he answered blankly enough,
+"I--ah--have not. What is the book you refer to?"
+
+"Oh, don't you know? To tell the truth, I forget the title. It's by a
+somewhat well-known lady writer of religious fiction. A Miss--her name
+escapes me at this moment."
+
+In fact, as Mr Bunker had no idea how long his friend might be dwelling in
+the apartment immediately above him, he thought it more prudent to make no
+statement that could possibly be checked.
+
+"I am no great admirer of religious fiction of any kind," replied Mr
+Duggs, "particularly that written by emotional females."
+
+"No," said Mr Bunker, pleasantly; "I should imagine your own doctrines
+were not apt to err on the sentimental side."
+
+"I am not aware that I have said anything to you about my--doctrines, as
+you call them, Mr Butler."
+
+"Still, don't you think one can generally tell a man's creed from his
+coat, and his sympathies from the way he cocks his hat?"
+
+"I think," replied Mr Duggs, "that our ideas of our vocation are somewhat
+different."
+
+"Mine is, I admit," said Mr Bunker, who had come to the conclusion that
+the strain of playing his part was really too great, and was now being
+happily carried along by his tongue.
+
+Mr Duggs for a moment was evidently disposed to give battle, but thinking
+better of it, he contented himself with frowning at his younger opponent,
+and abruptly changed the subject.
+
+"May I ask what position you hold in the church, Mr Butler?"
+
+"Why," began Mr Bunker, lightly: it was on the tip of his tongue to say "a
+clergyman, of course," when he suddenly recollected that he might be
+anything from the rank of curate up to the people who wear gaiters (and
+who these were precisely he didn't know). An ingenious solution suggested
+itself. He replied with a preliminary inquiry, "Have you ever been in the
+East, Mr Duggs?"
+
+"I regret to say I have not hitherto had the opportunity."
+
+"Thank the Lord for that," thought Mr Bunker. "I have been a missionary,"
+he said quietly, and looked dreamily into the fire.
+
+It was a happy move. Mr Duggs was visibly impressed.
+
+"Ah?" he said. "Indeed? I am much interested to learn this, Mr Butler.
+It--ah--gives me perhaps a somewhat different view of your--ah--opinions.
+Where did your work lie?"
+
+"China," replied Mr Bunker, thinking it best to keep as far abroad as
+possible.
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed Mr Duggs. "This is really extremely fortunate. I am at
+present, Mr Butler, studying the religions and customs of China at the
+British Museum, with a view to going out there myself very shortly. I
+already feel I know almost as much about that most interesting country as
+if I had lived there. I should like to talk with you at some length on the
+subject."
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was time to put an end to this conversation, at
+whatever minor risk of perturbing his visitor. He had been a little
+alarmed, too, by noticing that Mr Duggs' dull eye had wandered frequently
+to his theological library, which with his usual foresight he had strewn
+conspicuously on the table, and that any expression it had was rather of
+suspicious curiosity than gratification.
+
+"I should like to hear some of your experiences," Mr Duggs continued. "In
+what province did you work?"
+
+"In Hung Hang Ho," replied Mr Bunker. His visitor looked puzzled, but he
+continued boldly, "My experiences were somewhat unpleasant. I became
+engaged to a mandarin's daughter--a charming girl. I was suspected,
+however, of abetting an illicit traffic in Chinese lanterns. My companions
+were manicured alive, and I only made my escape in a pagoda, or a junk--I
+was in too much of a hurry to notice which--at the imminent peril of my
+life. Don't go to China, Mr Duggs."
+
+Mr Duggs rose.
+
+"Young man," he said, sternly, "put away that fatal bottle. I can only
+suppose that it is under the influence of drink that you have ventured to
+tell me such an irreverent and impossible story."
+
+"Sir," began Mr Bunker, warmly,--for he thought that an outburst of
+indignation would probably be the safest way of concluding the
+interview,--when he stopped abruptly and listened. All the time his ears
+had been alive to anything going on outside, and now he heard a cab rattle
+up and stop close by. It might be at Dr Twiddel's, he thought, and,
+turning from his visitor, he sprang to the window.
+
+Remarking distantly, "I hear a cab; it is possibly a friend I am
+expecting," Mr Duggs stepped to the other window.
+
+It was only, however, a hansom at the door of the next house, out of which
+a very golden-haired young lady was stepping. "Aha," said Mr Bunker, quite
+forgetting the indignant _r�le_ he had begun to play; "rather nice! Is
+this your friend, Mr Duggs?"
+
+Mr Duggs gave him one look of his dull eyes, and walked straight for the
+door. As he went out he merely remarked, "Our acquaintance has been brief,
+Mr Butler, but it has been quite sufficient."
+
+"Quite," thought Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+That was Mr Bunker's first and last meeting with the Rev. John Duggs, and
+he took no small credit to himself for having so effectually incensed his
+neighbour, without, at the same time, bringing suspicion on anything more
+pertinent than his sobriety.
+
+And yet sometimes in the course of the next three days he would have been
+thankful to see him again, if only to have another passage-of-arms. The
+time passed most wearily; the consulting-room blinds were never raised; no
+cabs stopped before the doctor's door; nobody except the little servant
+ever moved about the house.
+
+He could think of no plan better than waiting; and so he waited, showing
+himself seldom in the streets, and even sitting behind the curtain while
+he watched at the window. After writing at some length to the Baron he had
+no further correspondence that he could distract himself with; he was even
+forced once or twice to dip into the theological works. Mrs Gabbon had
+evidently "'eard sommat" from Mr Duggs, and treated him to little of her
+society. The boredom became so excessive that he decided he must make a
+move soon, however rash it was.
+
+The only active step he took, and indeed the only step he saw his way to
+take, was a call on Dr Twiddel's _locum_. But luck seemed to run dead
+against him. Dr Billson had departed "on his holiday," he was informed,
+and would not return for three weeks. So Mr Bunker was driven back to his
+window and the Baron's cigars.
+
+It was the evening of his fourth day in Mrs Gabbon's rooms. He had
+finished a modest dinner and was dealing himself hands at piquet with an
+old pack of cards, when he heard the rattle of a cab coming up the street.
+The usual faint flicker of hope rose: the cab stopped below him, the
+flicker burned brighter, and in an instant he was at the window. He opened
+the slats of the blind, and the flicker was aflame. Before the doctor's
+house a four-wheeled cab was standing laden with luggage, and two men were
+going up the steps. He watched the luggage being taken in and the cab
+drive away, and then he turned radiantly back to the fire.
+
+"The curtain is up," he said to himself. "What's the first act to be?"
+
+Presently he put on his wide-awake hat and went out for a stroll. He
+walked slowly past the doctor's house, but there was nothing to be seen or
+heard. Remembering the room at the back, he was not surprised to find no
+chink of light about the front windows, and thinking it better not to run
+the risk of being seen lingering there, he walked on. He was in such good
+spirits, and had been cooped up so continually for the last few days, that
+he went on and on, and it was not till about a couple of hours had passed
+that he approached his rooms again. As he came down the street he was
+surprised to see by the light of a lamp that another four-wheeler was
+standing before the doctor's house, also laden with luggage.
+
+Two men jumped in, one after another, and when he had come at his fastest
+walk within twenty yards or so, the cabman whipped up and drove rapidly
+away, luggage and men and all.
+
+He looked up and down for a hansom, but there were none to be seen. For a
+few yards he set off at a run in pursuit, and then, finding that the horse
+was being driven at a great rate, and remembering the paucity of stray
+cabs in the quiet streets and roads round about, he stopped and considered
+the question.
+
+"After all," he reflected, "it may not have been Dr Twiddel who drove
+away; in fact, if it was he who arrived in the first cab, it's any odds
+against it. Pooh! It can't be. Still, it's a curious thing if two cabs
+loaded with luggage came to the house in the same evening, and one drove
+away without unlading."
+
+With his spirits a little damped in spite of his philosophy, he went back
+to his rooms.
+
+In the morning the consulting-room blinds were still down, and the house
+looked as deserted as ever.
+
+He waited till lunch, and then he went out boldly and pulled the doctor's
+bell. The same little maid appeared, but she evidently did not recognise
+the fashionable patient who disappeared so mysteriously in the
+demure-looking clergyman at the door.
+
+"Is Dr Twiddel at home?"
+
+"No, sir, he ain't back yet."
+
+"He hasn't been back?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker looked at her keenly, and then said to himself, "She is lying."
+
+He thought he would try a chance shot.
+
+"But he was expected home last night, I believe."
+
+The maid looked a little staggered.
+
+"He ain't been," she replied.
+
+"I happen to have heard that he called here," he hazarded again.
+
+This time she was evidently put about.
+
+"He ain't been here--as I knows of."
+
+He slipped half-a-crown into her hand.
+
+"Think again," he said, in his most winning accents.
+
+The poor little maid was obviously in a dilemma.
+
+"Do you want him particular, sir?"
+
+"Particularly."
+
+She fidgeted a little.
+
+"He told me," he pursued, "that he might look in at his rooms last night.
+He left no message for me?"
+
+"What name, sir?"
+
+"Mr Butler."
+
+"No, sir."
+
+"Then, my dear," said Mr Bunker, with his most insinuating smile, "he was
+here for a little, you can't deny?"
+
+At the maid's embarrassed glance down his long coat, he suddenly realised
+that there was perhaps a distinction between lay and clerical smiles.
+
+"He might have just looked in, sir," she admitted.
+
+"But he didn't want it known?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+"Quite right, I advised him not to, and you did very well not to tell me
+at first."
+
+He smiled approvingly and made a pretence of turning away.
+
+"Oh, by the way," he added, stopping as if struck by an after-thought, "Is
+he still in town? He promised to leave word for me, but he has evidently
+forgotten."
+
+"I don't know, sir; 'e didn't say."
+
+"What? He left _no_ word at all?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker held out another half-crown.
+
+"It's truth, sir," said the maid, drawing back; "we don't know where 'e
+is."
+
+"Take it, all the same; you have been very discreet. You have no idea?"
+
+The maid hesitated.
+
+"I _did_ 'ear Mr Welsh say something about lookin' for rooms," she
+allowed.
+
+"In London?"
+
+"I expect so, sir; but 'e didn't say no more."
+
+"Mr Welsh is the friend who came with him, of course?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Thanks," said Mr Bunker. "By the way, Dr Twiddel might not like your
+telling this even to a friend, so you needn't say I called, I'll tell him
+myself when I see him, and I won't give you away."
+
+He smiled benignly, and the little maid thanked him quite gratefully.
+
+"Evidently," he thought as he went away, "I was meant for something in the
+detective line."
+
+He returned to his rooms to meditate, and the longer he thought the more
+puzzled he became, and yet the more convinced that he had taken up a
+thread that must lead him somewhere.
+
+"As for my plan of action," he considered, "I see nothing better for it
+than staying where I am--and watching. This mysterious doctor must surely
+steal back some night. Now and then I might go round the town and try a
+cast in the likeliest bars--oh, hang me, though! I forgot I was a
+clergyman."
+
+That night he had a welcome distraction in the shape of a letter from the
+Baron. It was written from Brierley Park, in the Baron's best pointed
+German hand, and it ran thus--
+
+"MY DEAR BUNKER,--I was greatly more delighted than I am able to express to
+you from the amusing correspondence you addressed me. How glad I am, I can
+assure you, that you are still in safety and comfort. Remember, my dear
+friend, to call for me when need arises, although I do think you can guard
+yourself as well as most alone.
+
+"This leaves me happy and healthful, and in utmost prosperity with the
+kind Sir Richard and his charming Lady. You English certainly know well
+how to cause time to pass with mirth. About instruction I say less!
+
+"They have talked of you here. I laugh and keep my tongue when they wonder
+who he is and whither gone away. Now that anger is passed and they see I
+myself enjoy the joke, they say, and especially do the ladies, (You
+humbug, Bunker!) 'How charming was the imitation, Baron!' You can indeed
+win the hearts, if wishful so. The Lady Grillyer and her unexpressable
+daughter I have often seen. To-day they come here for two nights. I did
+suggest it to Lady Brierley, and I fear she did suspect the condition of
+my heart; but she charmingly smiled, she asked them, and they come!
+
+"The Countess, I fear, does not now love you much, my friend; but then she
+knows not the truth. The Lady Alicia is strangely silent on the matter of
+Mr Bunker, but in time she also doubtless will forgive. (At this Mr Bunker
+smiled in some amusement.)
+
+"When they leave Brierley I also shall take my departure on the following
+day, that is in three days. Therefore write hastily, Bunker, and name the
+place and hour where we shall meet again and dine festively. I expect a
+most reverent clergyman and much instructive discourse. Ah, humbug!--Thine
+always,
+
+                                                 RUDOLPH VON BLITZENBERG."
+
+"_P.S._--She is sometimes more kind and sometimes so distant. Ah, I know
+not what to surmise! But to-morrow or the next my fate will be decided.
+Give me of your prayers, my reverent friend!
+
+                                                                R. VON B."
+
+"Dear old Baron!" said Mr Bunker. "Well, I've at least a dinner to look
+forward to."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+Dr Twiddel, meanwhile, was no less anxious to make the Rev. Alexander
+Butler's acquaintance than the Rev. Alexander Butler was to make his. Not
+that he was aware of that gentleman's recent change of identity and
+occupation; but most industrious endeavors to find a certain Mr Beveridge
+were made in the course of the next few days. He and Welsh were living
+modestly and obscurely in the neighbourhood of the Pentonville Road,
+scouring the town by day, studying a map and laying the most ingenious
+plans at night. Welsh's first effort, as soon as they were established in
+their new quarters, was to induce his friend to go down to Clankwood and
+make further inquiries, but this Twiddel absolutely declined to do.
+
+"My dear chap," he answered, "supposing anything were found out, or even
+suspected, what am I to say? Old Congleton knows me well, and for his own
+sake doesn't want to make a fuss; but if he really spots that something is
+wrong, he will be so afraid of his reputation that he'd give me away like
+a shot."
+
+"How are you going to give things away by going down and seeing him?"
+
+"_If_ they have guessed anything, I'll give it away. I haven't your cheek,
+you know, and tact, and that sort of thing; you'd much better go
+yourself."
+
+"_I?_ It isn't my business."
+
+"You seem to be making it yours. Besides, Dr Congleton thinks it is. You
+passed yourself off as the chap's cousin, and it is quite natural for you
+to go and inquire."
+
+Welsh pondered the point. "Hang it," he said at last, "it would do just as
+well to write. Perhaps it's safer after all."
+
+"Well, you write."
+
+"Why should I, rather than you?"
+
+"Because you're his cousin."
+
+Welsh considered again. "Well, I don't suppose it matters much. I'll
+write, if you're afraid."
+
+It was these amiable little touches in his friend's conversation that
+helped to make Twiddel's lot at this time so pleasant. In fact, the doctor
+was learning a good deal about human nature in cloudy weather.
+
+With great care Welsh composed a polite note of anxious inquiry, and by
+return of post received the following reply:--
+
+"MY DEAR SIR,--I regret to inform you that we have not so far recovered
+your cousin Mr Beveridge. In all probability, however, this cannot be long
+delayed now, as he was seen within the last week at a country house in
+Dampshire, and is known to have fled to London immediately on his
+recognition, but before he could be secured. He was then clean shaved, and
+had been passing under the name of Francis Bunker. We are making strict
+inquiries for him in London.
+
+"Nobody can regret the unfortunate circumstance of his escape more than I,
+and, in justice to myself and my institution, I can assure you that it was
+only through the most unforeseen and remarkable ingenuity on your cousin's
+part that it occurred.
+
+"Trusting that I may soon be able to inform you of his recovery, I am,
+yours very truly,
+
+                                                   "ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON.
+
+Their ardour was, if possible, increased by Dr Congleton's letter. Mr
+Beveridge was almost certainly in London, and they knew now that they must
+look for a clean-shaved man. Two private inquiry detectives were at work;
+and on their own account they had mapped the likeliest parts of London
+into beats, visiting every bar and restaurant in turn, and occasionally
+hanging about stations and the stopping-places for 'buses.
+
+It was dreadfully hard work, and after four days of it, even Welsh began
+to get a little sickened.
+
+"Hang it," he said in the evening, "I haven't had a decent dinner since we
+came back. Mr Bunker can go to the devil for to-night, I'm going to dine
+decently. I'm sick of going round pubs, and not even stopping to have a
+drink."
+
+"So am I," replied Twiddel, cordially; "where shall we go?"
+
+"The Caf� Maccarroni," suggested Welsh; "we can't afford a West-end place,
+and they give one a very decent dinner there."
+
+The Caf� Maccarroni in Holborn is nominally of foreign
+extraction,--certainly the waiters and the stout proprietor come from
+sunnier lands,--and many of the diners you can hear talking in strange
+tongues, with quick gesticulations. But for the most part they are
+respectable citizens of London, who drink Chianti because it stimulates
+cheaply and not unpleasantly. The white-painted room is bright and clean
+and seldom very crowded, the British palate can be tickled with tolerable
+joints and cutlets, and the foreign with gravy-covered odds and ends.
+Altogether, it may be recommended to such as desire to dine comfortably
+and not too conspicuously.
+
+The hour at which the two friends entered was later than most of the
+_habitu�s_ dine, and they had the room almost to themselves. They faced
+each other across a small table beside the wall, and very soon the
+discomforts of their researches began to seem more tolerable.
+
+"We'll catch him soon, old man," said Welsh, smiling more affably than he
+had smiled since they came back. "A day or two more of this kind of work
+and even London won't be able to conceal him any longer."
+
+"Dash it, we must," replied Twiddel, bravely. "We'll show old Congleton
+how to look for a lunatic."
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Welsh, "I think he'll be rather relieved himself.
+Waiter! another bottle of the same."
+
+The bottle arrived, and the waiter was just filling their glasses when a
+young clergyman entered the room and walked quietly towards the farther
+end. Welsh raised his glass and exclaimed, "Here's luck to ourselves,
+Twiddel, old man!"
+
+At that moment the clergyman was passing their table, and at the mention
+of this toast he started almost imperceptibly, and then, throwing a quick
+glance at the two, stopped and took a seat at the next table, with his
+back turned towards them. Welsh, who was at the farther side, looked at
+him with some annoyance, and made a sign to Twiddel to talk a little more
+quietly.
+
+To the waiter, who came with the _menu_, the clergyman explained in a
+quiet voice that he was waiting for a friend, and asked for an evening
+paper instead, in which he soon appeared to be deeply engrossed.
+
+At first the conversation went on in a lower tone, but in a few minutes
+they insensibly forgot their neighbour, and the voices rose again by
+starts.
+
+"My dear fellow," Welsh was saying, "we can discuss that afterwards; we
+haven't caught him yet."
+
+"I want to settle it now."
+
+"But I thought it was settled."
+
+"No, it wasn't," said Twiddel, with a foreign and vinous doggedness.
+
+"What do you suggest then?"
+
+"Divide it equally--�250 each."
+
+"You think you can claim half the credit for the idea and half the
+trouble?"
+
+"I can claim _all_ the risk--practically."
+
+"Pooh!" said Welsh. "You think I risked nothing? Come, come, let's talk of
+something else."
+
+"Oh, rot!" interrupted Twiddel, who by this time was decidedly flushed.
+"You needn't ride the high horse like that, you are not Mr
+Mandell-Essington any longer."
+
+With a violent start, the clergyman brought his fist crash on the table,
+and exclaimed aloud, "By Heaven, that's it!"
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+As one may suppose, everybody in the room started in great astonishment at
+this extraordinary outburst. With a sharp "Hollo!" Twiddel turned in his
+seat, to see the clergyman standing over him with a look of the keenest
+inquiry in his well-favoured face.
+
+"May I ask, Dr Twiddel, what you know of the gentleman you just named?" he
+said, with perfect politeness.
+
+The conscience-smitten doctor gazed at him blankly, and the colour
+suddenly left his face. But Welsh's nerves were stronger; and, as he
+looked hard at the stranger, a jubilant light leaped to his eyes.
+
+"It's our man!" he cried, before his friend could gather his wits. "It's
+Beveridge, or Bunker, or whatever he calls himself! Waiter!"
+
+Instantly three waiters, all agog, hurried at his summons.
+
+Mr Bunker regarded him with considerable surprise. He had quite expected
+that the pair would be thrown into confusion, but not that it would take
+this form.
+
+"Excuse me, sir," he began, but Welsh interrupted him by crying to the
+leading waiter--
+
+"Fetch a four-wheeled cab and a policeman, quick!" As the man hesitated,
+he added, "This man here is an escaped lunatic."
+
+The waiter was starting for the door, when Mr Bunker stepped out quickly
+and interrupted him.
+
+"Stop one minute, waiter," he said, with a quiet, unruffled air that went
+far to establish his sanity. "Do I look like a lunatic? Kindly call the
+proprietor first."
+
+The stout proprietor was already on his way to their table, and the one or
+two other diners were beginning to gather round. Mr Bunker's manner had
+impressed even Welsh, and after his nature he took refuge in bluster.
+
+"I say, my man," he cried, "this won't pass. Somebody fetch a cab."
+
+"Vat is dees about?" asked the proprietor, coming up.
+
+"Your wine, I'm afraid, has been rather too powerful for this gentleman,"
+Mr Bunker explained, with a smile.
+
+"Look here," blustered Welsh, "do you know you've got a lunatic in the
+room?"
+
+"You can perhaps guess it," smiled Mr Bunker, indicating Welsh with his
+eyes.
+
+The waiters began to twitter, and Welsh, with an effort, pulled himself
+together.
+
+"My friend here," he said, "is Dr Twiddel, a well-known practitioner in
+London. He can tell you that he certified this man as a lunatic, and that
+he afterwards escaped from his asylum. That is so, Twiddel?"
+
+"Yes," assented Twiddel, whose colour was beginning to come back a little.
+
+"Who are you, sare?" asked the proprietor.
+
+"Show him your card, Twiddel," said Welsh, producing his own and handing
+it over.
+
+The proprietor looked at both cards, and then turned to Mr Bunker.
+
+"And who are you, sare?"
+
+"My name is Mandell-Essington."
+
+"His name----" began Welsh.
+
+"Have you a card?" interposed the proprietor.
+
+"I am sorry I have not," replied Mr Bunker (to still call him by the name
+of his choice).
+
+"His name is Francis Beveridge," said Welsh.
+
+"I beg your pardon; it is Mandell-Essington."
+
+"Any other description?" Welsh asked, with a sneer.
+
+"A gentleman, I believe."
+
+"No other occupation?"
+
+"Not unless you can call a justice of the peace such," replied Mr Bunker,
+with a smile.
+
+"And yet he disguises himself as a clergyman!" exclaimed Welsh,
+triumphantly, turning to the proprietor.
+
+Mr Bunker saw that he was caught, but he merely laughed, and observed, "My
+friend here disguises himself in liquor, a much less respectable cloak."
+
+Unfortunately the humour of this remark was somewhat thrown away on his
+present audience; indeed, coming from a professed clergyman, it produced
+an unfavourable impression.
+
+"You are not a clergyman?" said the proprietor, suspiciously.
+
+"I am glad to say I am not," replied Mr Bunker, frankly.
+
+"Den vat do you do in dis dress?"
+
+"I put it on as a compliment to the cloth; I retain it at present for
+decency," said Mr Bunker, whose tongue had now got a fair start of him.
+
+"Mad," remarked Welsh, confidentially, shrugging his shoulders with really
+excellent dramatic effect.
+
+By this time the audience were disposed to agree with him.
+
+"You can give no better account of yourself dan dis?" asked the
+proprietor.
+
+"I am anxious to," replied Mr Bunker, "but a public restaurant is not the
+place in which I choose to give it."
+
+"Fetch the cab and the policeman," said Welsh to a waiter.
+
+At this moment another gentleman entered the room, and at the sight of him
+Mr Bunker's face brightened, and he stopped the waiter by a cry of, "Wait
+one moment; here comes a gentleman who knows me."
+
+Everybody turned, and beheld a burly, very fashionably dressed young man,
+with a fair moustache and a cheerful countenance.
+
+"Ach, Bonker!" he cried.
+
+This confirmation of Mr Bunker's _aliases_ ought, one would expect, to
+have delighted the two conspirators, but, instead, it produced the most
+remarkable effect. Twiddel utterly collapsed, while even Welsh's impudence
+at last deserted him. Neither said a word as the Baron von Blitzenberg
+greeted his friend with affectionate heartiness.
+
+"My friend, zis is good for ze heart! Bot, how? vat makes it here?"
+
+"My dear Baron, the most unfortunate mistake has occurred. Two men here----"
+But at this moment he stopped in great surprise, for the Baron was staring
+hard first at Welsh and then at Twiddel.
+
+"Ah!" he exclaimed, "Mr Mandell-Essington, I zink?"
+
+Welsh hesitated for an instant, and his hesitation was evident to all.
+Then he replied, "No, you are mistaken."
+
+"Surely I cannot be; you did stay in Fogelschloss?" said the Baron. "Is
+not zis Dr Twiddel?"
+
+"No--er--ah--yes," stammered Twiddel, looking feebly at Welsh.
+
+The Baron looked from the one to the other in great perplexity, when Mr
+Bunker, who had been much puzzled by this conversation, broke in, "Did you
+call that person Mandell-Essington?"
+
+"I cairtainly zought it vas."
+
+"Where did you meet him?"
+
+"In Bavaria, at my own castle."
+
+"You are mistaken, sir," said Welsh.
+
+"One moment, Mr Welsh," said Mr Bunker. "How long ago was this, Baron?"
+
+"Jost before I gom to London. He travelled viz zis ozzer gentleman, Dr
+Twiddel."
+
+"You are wrong, sir," persisted Welsh.
+
+"For his health," added the Baron.
+
+A light began to dawn on Mr Bunker.
+
+"His health?" he cried, and then smiled politely at Welsh.
+
+"We will talk this over, Mr Welsh."
+
+"I am sorry I happen to be going," said Welsh, taking his hat and coat.
+
+"What, without your lunatic?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"That is Dr Twiddel's affair, not mine. Kindly let me pass, sir."
+
+"No, Mr Welsh; if you go now, it will be in the company of that policeman
+you were so anxious to send for." There was such an unmistakable threat in
+Mr Bunker's voice and eye that Welsh hesitated. "We will talk it over, Mr
+Welsh," Mr Bunker repeated distinctly. "Kindly sit down. I have several
+things to ask you and your friend Dr Twiddel."
+
+Muttering something under his breath, Welsh hung up his coat and hat, sat
+down, and then assuming an air of great impudence, remarked, "Fire away,
+Mr Mandell-Essington--Beveridge--Bunker, or whatever you call yourself."
+
+Without paying the slightest attention to this piece of humour, Mr Bunker
+turned to the bewildered proprietor, and, to the intense disappointment of
+the audience, said, "You can leave us now, thank you; our talk is likely
+to be of a somewhat private nature." As their gallery withdrew, he drew up
+a chair for the Baron, and all four sat round the small table.
+
+"Now," said Mr Bunker to Welsh, "you will perhaps be kind enough to give
+me a precise account of your doings since the middle of November."
+
+"I'm d----d if I do," replied Welsh.
+
+"Sare," interposed the Baron in his stateliest manner, "I know not now who
+you may be, but I see you are no gentleman. Ven you are viz gentlemen--and
+noblemen--you vill please to speak respectfully."
+
+The stare that Welsh attempted in reply was somewhat ineffective.
+
+"Perhaps, Dr Twiddel, you can give the account I want?" said Mr Bunker.
+
+The poor doctor looked at his friend, hesitated, and finally stammered
+out, "I--I don't see why."
+
+Mr Bunker pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed it to him.
+
+"Perhaps this may suggest a why."
+
+When the doctor saw the bill for Mr Beveridge's linen, the last of his
+courage ebbed away. He glanced helplessly at Welsh, but his ally was now
+leaning back in his chair with such an irritating assumption of
+indifference, and the prospective fee had so obviously vanished, that he
+was suddenly seized with the most virtuous resolutions.
+
+"What do you want to know, sir?" he asked.
+
+"In the first place, how did you come to have anything to do with me?"
+
+Welsh, whose sharp wits instantly divined the weak point in the attack,
+cut in quickly, "Don't tell him if he doesn't know already!"
+
+But Twiddel's relapse to virtue was complete. "I was asked to take charge
+of you while----" He hesitated.
+
+"While I was unwell," smiled Mr Bunker. "Yes?"
+
+"I was to travel with you."
+
+"Ah!"
+
+"But I--I didn't like the idea, you see; and so--in fact--Welsh suggested
+that I should take him instead."
+
+"While you locked me up in Clankwood?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Bunker, "I must say it was a devilish humorous
+idea."
+
+At this Twiddel began to take heart again.
+
+"I am very sorry, sir, for----" he began, when the Baron interrupted
+excitedly.
+
+"Zen vat is your name, Bonker?"
+
+"_I_ am Mr Mandell-Essington, Baron."
+
+The Baron looked at the other two in turn with wide-open eyes.
+
+Then he turned indignantly upon Welsh.
+
+"You were impostor zen, sare? You gom to my house and call yourself a
+gentleman, and impose upon me, and tell of your family and your estates.
+You, a low--er--er--vat you say?--a low _cad!_ Bonker, I cannot sit at ze same
+table viz zese persons!"
+
+He rose as he spoke.
+
+"One moment, Baron! Before we send these gentlemen back to their really
+promising career of fraud, I want to ask one or two more questions." He
+turned to Twiddel. "What were you to be paid for this?"
+
+"�500."
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes. "That's the way my money goes? From your
+anxiety to recapture me, I presume you have not yet been paid?"
+
+"No, I assure you, Mr Essington," said Twiddel, eagerly; "I give you my
+word."
+
+"I shall judge by the circumstances rather than your word, sir. It is
+perhaps unnecessary to inform you that you have had your trouble for
+nothing." He looked at them both as though they were curious animals, and
+then continued: "You, Mr Welsh, are a really wonderfully typical rascal. I
+am glad to have met you. You can now put on your coat and go." As Welsh
+still sat defiantly, he added, "_At once_, sir! or you may possibly find
+policemen and four-wheeled cabs outside. I have something else to say to
+Dr Twiddel."
+
+With the best air he could muster, Welsh silently cocked his hat on the
+side of his head, threw his coat over his arm, and was walking out, when a
+watchful waiter intercepted him.
+
+"Your bill, sare."
+
+"My friend is paying."
+
+"No, Mr Welsh," cried the real Essington; "I think you had better pay for
+this dinner yourself."
+
+Welsh saw the vigilant proprietor already coming towards him, and with a
+look that augured ill for Twiddel when they were alone, he put his hand in
+his pocket.
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Essington, "the inevitable bill!"
+
+"And now," he continued, turning to Twiddel, "you, doctor, seem to me a
+most unfortunately constructed biped; your nose is just long enough to
+enable you to be led into a singularly original adventure, and your brains
+just too few to carry it through creditably. Hang me if I wouldn't have
+made a better job of the business! But before you disappear from the
+company of gentlemen I must ask you to do one favour for me. First thing
+to-morrow morning you will go down to Clankwood, tell what lie you please,
+and obtain my legal discharge, or whatever it's called. After that you may
+go to the devil--or, what comes much to the same thing, to Mr Welsh--for all
+I care. You will do this without fail?"
+
+"Ye--es," stammered Twiddel, "certainly, sir."
+
+"You may now retire--and the faster the better."
+
+As the crestfallen doctor followed his ally out of the restaurant, the
+Baron exclaimed in disgust, "Ze cads! You are too merciful. You should
+punish."
+
+"My dear Baron, after all I am obliged to these rascals for the most
+amusing time I have ever had in my life, and one of the best friends I've
+ever made."
+
+"Ach, Bonker! Bot vat do I say? You are not Bonker no more, and yet may I
+call you so, jost for ze sake of pleasant times? It vill be too hard to
+change."
+
+"I'd rather you would, Baron. It will be a perpetual in memoriam record of
+my departed virtues."
+
+"Departed, Bonker?"
+
+"Departed, Baron," his friend repeated with a sigh; "for how can I ever
+hope to have so spacious a field for them again? Believe me, they will
+wither in an atmosphere of orthodoxy. And now let us order dinner."
+
+"But first," said the Baron, blushing, "I haf a piece of news."
+
+"Baron, I guess it!"
+
+"Ze Lady Alicia is now mine! Congratulate!"
+
+"With all my heart, Baron! What could be a fitter finish than the
+detection of villainy, the marriage of all the sane people, and the
+apotheosis of the lunatic?"
+
+
+
+                                 THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 ERRATA.
+
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER IV.
+      Changed: he whistled, *The* sounds outside
+      To: he whistled, *the* sounds outside
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VI.
+      Changed: Ye*-*es.
+      To: Ye*--*es.
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VII.
+      Changed: which that *disapponted* official only
+      To: which that *disappointed* official only
+
+      PART III.
+      CHAPTER V.
+      Changed: something out*.*" he said
+      To: something out*,*" he said
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: to me, *$*200 to you
+      To: to me, *�*200 to you
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: _I_ let him loose?*'*
+      To: _I_ let him loose?*"*
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER II.
+      Changed: * *Indeed? Why not?"
+      To: *"*Indeed? Why not?"
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: on his *wideawake* hat and
+      To: on his *wide-awake* hat and
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: "What *nime*, sir?"
+      To: "What *name*, sir?"
+
+
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+
+
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+<div class="tei tei-front" style="margin-bottom: 6.00em; margin-top: 2.00em">
+  <div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+    <div id="pgheader" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em"><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em"><p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 2.00em">The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston</p></div><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em"><p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost
+          and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it,
+          give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project
+          Gutenberg License <a href="#pglicense" class="tei tei-ref">included with this
+          eBook</a> or online at <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/license" class="tei tei-xref">http://www.gutenberg.org/license</a></p></div><pre class="pre tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em">Title: The Lunatic at Large
+
+Author: J. Storer Clouston
+
+Release Date: January 30, 2007 [Ebook #20485]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+</pre></div>
+  </div>
+
+  <div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+    
+  </div>
+
+  <hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-titlePage" style="text-align: center">
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page3">[pg 3]</span><a name="Pg3" id="Pg3" class="tei tei-anchor" style="text-align: center"></a>
+    <span class="tei tei-docTitle" style="text-align: center">
+      <span class="tei tei-titlePart" style="text-align: center">
+        <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 175%">THE</span></span><br />
+        <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 200%">LUNATIC AT LARGE</span></span><br />
+        <br />
+      </span>
+      <span class="tei tei-titlePart" style="text-align: center">
+        <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 150%; font-style: italic">A NOVEL</span></span><br />
+        <br />
+      </span>
+    </span>
+    <div class="tei tei-byline" style="text-align: center">
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 75%">BY</span></span><br />
+      <span class="tei tei-docAuthor" style="text-align: center">
+        <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">J. STORER CLOUSTON</span></span><br />
+        <br />
+      </span>
+    </div>
+    <span class="tei tei-docEdition" style="text-align: center">
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 75%">AUTHORIZED EDITION</span></span><br />
+      <br />
+    </span>
+    <span class="tei tei-docImprint" style="text-align: center">
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">BRENTANO’S</span></span><br />
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">NEW YORK</span></span><br />
+    </span>
+    <span class="tei tei-docDate" style="text-align: center">
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">1915</span></span><br />
+    </span>
+  </div>
+
+  <hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+    <a name="pdf1" id="pdf1"></a>
+    <h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em"><span style="font-size: 173%">CONTENTS</span></h1>
+    <ul class="tei tei-index tei-index-toc"><li><a href="#toc2">
+  <span style="font-size: 125%">INTRODUCTORY.</span>
+</a></li><li><a href="#toc4">
+  <span style="font-size: 125%">PART I.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc6">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc8">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc10">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc12">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc14">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc16">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc18">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span>
+</a></li><li><a href="#toc20">
+  <span style="font-size: 125%">PART II.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc22">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc24">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc26">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc28">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc30">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc32">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc34">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc36">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VIII.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc38">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IX.</span>
+</a></li><li><a href="#toc40">
+  <span style="font-size: 125%">PART III.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc42">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc44">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc46">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc48">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc50">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc52">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc54">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span>
+</a></li><li><a href="#toc56">
+  <span style="font-size: 125%">PART IV.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc58">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc60">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc62">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc64">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span>
+</a></li><li style="margin-left: 2em"><a href="#toc66">
+  <span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span>
+</a></li><li><a href="#toc68">
+      <span style="font-size: 125%">ERRATA.</span>
+    </a></li></ul>
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<div class="tei tei-body" style="margin-bottom: 6.00em; margin-top: 6.00em">
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<hr class="doublepage" /><div id="LLi" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page5">[pg 5]</span><a name="Pg5" id="Pg5" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc2" id="toc2"></a>
+<a name="pdf3" id="pdf3"></a>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 150%">THE LUNATIC AT LARGE.</span></span>
+</h1>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">INTRODUCTORY.</span></span>
+</h1>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Into the history of Mr Francis Beveridge, as supplied
+by the obliging candour of the Baron von
+Blitzenberg and the notes of Dr Escott, Dr Twiddel
+and his friend Robert Welsh make a kind of
+explanatory entry. They most effectually set the ball
+a-rolling, and so the story starts in a small room looking
+out on a very uninteresting London street.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was about three o’clock on a November afternoon,
+that season of fogs and rains and mud, when towns-people
+long for fresh air and hillsides, and country-folk
+think wistfully of the warmth and lights of a city, when
+nobody is satisfied, and everybody has a cold. Outside
+the window of the room there were a few feet of earth
+adorned with a low bush or two, a line of railings, a stone-paved
+street, and on the other side a long row of uniform
+yellow brick houses. The apartment itself was a modest
+chamber, containing a minimum of rented furniture and
+a flickering gas-stove. By a small caseful of medical
+treatises and a conspicuous stethoscope, the least experienced
+could see that it was labelled consulting-room.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page6">[pg 6]</span><a name="Pg6" id="Pg6" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Dr Twiddel was enjoying one of those moments of
+repose that occur even in the youngest practitioner’s
+existence. For the purposes of this narrative he may briefly
+be described as an amiable-looking young man, with a
+little bit of fair moustache and still less chin, no practice
+to speak of, and a considerable quantity of unpaid bills.
+A man of such features and in such circumstances invites
+temptation. At the present moment, though his waistcoat
+was unbuttoned and his feet rested on the mantelpiece,
+his mind seemed not quite at ease. He looked
+back upon a number of fortunate events that had not
+occurred, and forward to various unpleasant things that
+might occur, and then he took a letter from his pocket
+and read it abstractedly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I can’t afford to refuse,”</span> he reflected, lugubriously;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“and yet, hang it! I must say I don’t fancy the job.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When metal is molten it can be poured into any vessel;
+and at that moment a certain deep receptacle stood on the
+very doorstep.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor heard the bell, sat up briskly, stuffed the
+letter back into his pocket, and buttoned his waistcoat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A patient at last!”</span> and instantly there arose a
+vision of a simple operation, a fabulous fee, and twelve
+sickly millionaires an hour ever after. The door opened,
+and a loud voice hailed him familiarly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Only Welsh,”</span> he sighed, and the vision went the way
+of all the others.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The gentleman who swaggered in and clapped the
+doctor on the back, who next threw himself into the
+easiest chair and his hat and coat over the table, was in
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page7">[pg 7]</span><a name="Pg7" id="Pg7" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+fact Mr Robert Welsh. From the moment he entered
+he pervaded the room; the stethoscope seemed to grow
+less conspicuous, Dr Twiddel’s chin more diminutive,
+the apartment itself a mere background to this guest.
+Why? It would be hard to say precisely. He was a
+black-moustached, full-faced man, with an air of the
+most consummate assurance, and a person by some
+deemed handsome. Yet somehow or other he inevitably
+recalled the uncles of history. Perhaps this assurance
+alone gave him his atmosphere. You could have felt
+his egotism in the dark.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He talked in a loud voice and with a great air of mastery
+over all the contingencies of a life about town. You
+felt that here sat one who had seen the world and gave
+things their proper proportions, who had learned how
+meretricious was orthodoxy, and which bars could really
+be recommended. He chaffed, patronised, and cheered
+the doctor. Patients had been scarce, had they? Well,
+after all, there were many consolations. Did Twiddle
+say he was hard up? Welsh himself in an even more
+evil case. He narrated various unfortunate transactions
+connected with the turf and other pursuits, with regret,
+no doubt, and yet with a fine rakish defiance of destiny.
+Twiddel’s face cleared, and he began to show something
+of the same gallant spirit. He brought out a tall bottle
+with a Celtic superscription; Welsh half filled his glass,
+poured in some water from a dusty decanter, and proposed
+the toast of <span class="tei tei-q">“Luck to the two most deserving sinners in
+London!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor was fired, he drew the same letter from his
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page8">[pg 8]</span><a name="Pg8" id="Pg8" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+pocket, and cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“By Jove, Welsh, I’d almost forgotten
+to tell you of a lucky offer that came this morning.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This was not strictly true, for as a matter of fact the
+doctor had only hesitated to tell of this offer lest he should
+be shamed to a decision. But Welsh was infectious.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Congratulations, old man!”</span> said his friend. <span class="tei tei-q">“What’s
+it all about?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Here’s a letter from an old friend of my
+people’s—Dr Watson, by name. He has a very good
+country practice, and he offers me this job.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He handed the letter to Welsh, and then added, with a
+flutter of caution, <span class="tei tei-q">“I haven’t made up my mind yet.
+There are drawbacks, as you’ll see.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh opened the letter and read:—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Dear Twiddel</span></span>,—I
+  am happy to tell you that I am
+  at last able to put something in your way. A gentleman
+  in this neighbourhood, one of my most esteemed patients,
+  has lately suffered from a severe mental and physical
+  shock, followed by brain fever, and is still, I regret to
+  say, in an extremely unstable mental condition. I have
+  strongly recommended quiet and change of scene, and at
+  my suggestion he is to be sent abroad under the care of a
+  medical attendant. I have now much pleasure in offering
+  you the post, if you would care to accept it. You will
+  find your patient, Mr Mandell-Essington, an extremely
+  agreeable young man when in possession of his proper
+  faculties. He has large means and no near relatives;
+  he comes of one of the best families in the county; and
+  though he has, I surmise, sown his wild oats pretty freely,
+  he was considered of unusual promise previous to this
+  unfortunate illness. He is of an amiable and pleasant
+  disposition, though at present, we fear, inclined to suicidal
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page9">[pg 9]</span><a name="Pg9" id="Pg9" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+  tendencies. I have no particular reason to think he is
+  at all homicidal; still, you will see that he naturally requires
+  most careful watching. It is possible that you may
+  hesitate to leave your practice (which I trust prospers);
+  but as the responsibility is considerable, the fee will be
+  proportionately generous—£500, and all expenses paid.”</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-size: 100%">(</span><span class="tei tei-q"><span style="font-size: 100%">“</span><span style="font-size: 100%">Five hundred quid!</span><span style="font-size: 100%">”</span></span><span style="font-size: 100%"> exclaimed
+  Welsh.)</span></span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I would suggest a trip on the Continent. The
+  duration and the places to be visited will be entirely at your
+  discretion. It is of course hardly necessary to say that
+  you will seek quiet localities. Trusting to hear from you
+  at your very earliest convenience, believe me, yours sincerely,</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Timothy Watson</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh looked at his friend with the respect that prosperity
+naturally excites. He smiled on him as an equal,
+and cried, heartily, <span class="tei tei-q">“Congratulations again! When do
+you start?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel fidgeted uncomfortably, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—er—well, you
+see—ah—I haven’t
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">quite</span></span> made up my mind yet.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What’s the matter?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hang it, Welsh—er—the fact is I don’t altogether
+like the job.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Scruples of any kind always surprised Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can’t afford to leave the practice?”</span> he asked with
+a laugh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That’s—ah—partly the reason,”</span> replied Twiddel,
+uncomfortably.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Rot, old man! There’s a girl in the case. Out
+with it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, it isn’t that. You see it’s the very devil of a
+responsibility.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page10">[pg 10]</span><a name="Pg10" id="Pg10" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At this confession of weakness he looked guiltily at his
+heroic friend. From the bottom of his heart he wished
+he had screwed up his courage in private. Welsh had so
+little imagination.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By Gad,”</span> exclaimed Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’d manage a nunnery
+for £500!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly
+homicidal, lunatic isn’t a nunnery.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then you are going to chuck up £500 and a free trip
+on the Continent?”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dr Watson himself admits the responsibility.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With a—what is it?—agreeable young man?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Only when in possession of his proper faculties,”</span>
+said the doctor, dismally.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And an amiable disposition?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With suicidal tendencies, hang it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should have thought,”</span> said Welsh, with a laugh,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that they would only matter to himself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But he is homicidal too—or at least it’s doubtful.
+I want to know a little more about that, thank you!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What is the man’s name?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mandell-Essington.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sounds aristocratic. He might come in useful afterwards,
+when he’s cured.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh spoke with an air of reflection, which might have
+been entirely disinterested.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He’d probably commit suicide first,”</span> said Twiddel,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“and of course I’d get all the blame.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Or homicide,”</span> replied Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“When
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">he</span></span> would.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page11">[pg 11]</span><a name="Pg11" id="Pg11" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, he wouldn’t—that’s the worst of it;
+I’d be blamed for having my own throat cut.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Twiddel,”</span> said his friend, deliberately, <span class="tei tei-q">“it seems to
+me you’re a fool.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m at least alive,”</span> cried Twiddel, warming with
+sympathy for himself, <span class="tei tei-q">“which I probably wouldn’t be for
+long in Mr Essington’s company.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t blame your nerves, dear boy,”</span> said Welsh,
+with a smile that showed all his teeth, <span class="tei tei-q">“only your head.
+Here are £500 going a-begging. There must be some
+way&mdash;&mdash;”</span> He paused, deep in reflection. <span class="tei tei-q">“How would
+it do,”</span> he remarked in a minute, <span class="tei tei-q">“if
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span> were to go in your place?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel laughed and shook his head.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Couldn’t be managed?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Couldn’t possibly, I’m afraid.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No,”</span> said Welsh. <span class="tei tei-q">“I foresee difficulties.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He fished a pipe out of his pocket, filled and lit it, and
+leaned back in his chair gazing at the ceiling.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Twiddel, my boy,”</span> he said at length, <span class="tei tei-q">“will you give
+me a percentage of the fee if I think of a safe dodge for
+getting the money and preserving your throat?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel laughed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Rather!”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am perfectly serious,”</span> replied Welsh, keenly. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’m
+certain the thing is quite possible.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He half closed his eyes and ruminated in silence. The
+doctor watched him—fascinated, afraid. Somehow or
+other he felt that he was already a kind of Guy Fawkes.
+There was something so unlawful in Welsh’s expression.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page12">[pg 12]</span><a name="Pg12" id="Pg12" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They sat there without speaking for about ten minutes,
+and then all of a sudden Welsh sprang up with a shout of
+laughter, slapping first his own leg and then the doctor’s
+back.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By Gad, I’ve got it!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And he had; hence this tale.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="page" /><div id="LL0100" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page13">[pg 13]</span><a name="Pg13" id="Pg13" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc4" id="toc4"></a>
+<a name="pdf5" id="pdf5"></a>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">PART I.</span></span>
+</h1>
+
+<div id="LL0101" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc6" id="toc6"></a>
+<a name="pdf7" id="pdf7"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In a certain fertile and well-wooded county of England
+there stands a high stone wall. On a sunny
+day the eye of the traveller passing through this
+province is gratified by the sparkle of myriads of
+broken bottles arranged closely and continuously along its
+coping-stone. Above these shining facets the boughs of
+tall trees swing in the wind and throw their shadows
+across the highway. The wall at last leaves the road and
+follows the park round its entire extent. Its height never
+varies; the broken bottles glitter perpetually; and only
+through two entrances, and that when the gates are open,
+can one gain a single glimpse inside: for the gates are
+solid, with no chinks for the curious.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The country all round is undulating, and here and
+there from the crest of an eminence you can see a great
+space of well-timbered park land within this wall; and
+in winter, when the leaves are off the trees, you may
+spy an imposing red-brick mansion in the midst.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Any native will inform you, with a mixture of infectious
+awe and becoming pride, that this is no less than the
+far-famed private asylum of Clankwood.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This ideal institution bore the enviable reputation of
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page14">[pg 14]</span><a name="Pg14" id="Pg14" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+containing the best-bred lunatics in England. It was
+credibly reported that however well marked their symptoms
+and however well developed their delusions, none but
+ladies and gentlemen of the most unblemished descent
+were permitted to enjoy its seclusion. The dances there
+were universally considered the most agreeable functions
+in the county. The conversation of many of the inmates
+was of the widest range and the most refreshing
+originality, and the demeanour of all, even when most
+free from the conventional trammels of outside society,
+bore evidence of an expensive, and in some cases of a
+Christian, upbringing. This is scarcely to be wondered
+at, when beneath one roof were assembled the heirs-presumptive
+to three dukedoms, two suicidal marquises,
+an odd archbishop or so, and the flower of the baronetage
+and clergy. As this list only includes a few of the celebrities
+able or willing to be introduced to distinguished
+visitors, and makes no mention of the uncorroborated
+dignities (such as the classical divinities and Old Testament
+duplicates), the anxiety shown by some people to
+certify their relations can easily be understood.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Dr Congleton, the proprietor and physician of Clankwood,
+was a gentleman singularly well fitted to act as
+host on the occasion of asylum reunions. No one could
+exceed him in the respect he showed to a coroneted head,
+even when cracked; and a bishop under his charge was
+always secured, as far as possible, from the least whisper
+of heretical conversation. He possessed besides a pleasant
+rubicund countenance and an immaculate wardrobe.
+He was further fortunate in having in his assistants,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page15">[pg 15]</span><a name="Pg15" id="Pg15" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+Dr Escott and Dr Sherlaw, two young gentlemen whose
+medical knowledge was almost equal to the affability
+of their manners and the excellence of their family connections.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">One November night these two were sitting over a
+comfortable fire in Sherlaw’s room. Twelve o’clock
+struck, Escott finished the remains of something in a
+tumbler, rose, and yawned sleepily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Time to turn in, young man,”</span> said he.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I suppose it is,”</span> replied Sherlaw, a very pleasant
+and boyish young gentleman. <span class="tei tei-q">“Hullo! What’s that?
+A cab?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They both listened, and some way off they could just
+pick out a sound like wheels upon gravel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s very late for any one to be coming in,”</span> said
+Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The sound grew clearer and more unmistakably like a
+cab rattling quickly up the drive.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is a cab,”</span> said Sherlaw.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They heard it draw up before the front door, and then
+there came a pause.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who the deuce can it be?”</span> muttered Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In a few minutes there came a knock at the door, and
+a servant entered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A new case, sir. Want’s to
+see Dr Congleton particular.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A man or a woman?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Man, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All right,”</span> growled Sherlaw. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll come, confound
+him.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page16">[pg 16]</span><a name="Pg16" id="Pg16" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bad luck, old man,”</span> laughed Escott. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll wait
+here in case by any chance you want me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He fell into his chair again, lit a cigarette, and sleepily
+turned over the pages of a book. Dr Sherlaw was away
+for a little time, and when he returned his cheerful face
+wore a somewhat mystified expression.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well?”</span> asked Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Rather a rum case,”</span> said his colleague, thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What’s the matter?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who was it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t know that either.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Escott opened his eyes.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What happened, then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well,”</span> said Sherlaw, drawing his chair up to the fire
+again, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll tell you just what did happen,
+and you can make what you can out of it. Of course, I suppose
+it’s all right, really, but—well, the proceedings were
+a little unusual, don’t you know.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I went down to the door, and there I found
+a four-wheeler with a man standing beside it. The door of
+the cab was shut, and there seemed to be two more men
+inside. This chap who’d got out—a youngish man—hailed
+me at once as though he’d bought the whole
+place.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘You Dr Congleton?’</span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Damn your impertinence!’</span>
+I said to myself, <span class="tei tei-q">‘ringing people up at this hour, and
+talking like a bally drill-sergeant.’</span></span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page17">[pg 17]</span><a name="Pg17" id="Pg17" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I told him politely I wasn’t
+old Congers, but that I’d make a good enough substitute
+for the likes of him.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘I tell you what it is,’</span> said the
+Johnnie, <span class="tei tei-q">‘I’ve brought a patient for Dr Congleton, a
+cousin of mine, and I’ve got a doctor here, too. I want
+to see Dr Congleton.’</span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘He’s probably in bed,’</span> I said,
+<span class="tei tei-q">‘but I’ll do just as well. I suppose he’s certified,
+and all that.’</span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Oh, it’s all right,’</span> said the
+man, rather as though he expected me to say that it wasn’t.
+He looked a little doubtful what to do, and then I heard some one
+inside the cab call him. He stuck his head in the window and
+they confabbed for a minute, and then he turned to me
+and said, with the most magnificent air you ever saw,
+like a chap buying a set of diamond studs, <span class="tei tei-q">‘My friend here
+is a great personal friend of Dr Congleton, and it’s a
+damned&mdash;&mdash; I mean it’s an uncommonly delicate matter.
+We must see him.’</span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Well, if you insist, I’ll see
+if I can get him,’</span> I said;
+<span class="tei tei-q">‘but you’d better come in and wait.’</span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So the Johnnie opened the door of the
+cab, and there was a great hauling and pushing, my friend pulling
+an arm from the outside, and the doctor shoving from within,
+and at last they fetched out their patient. He was a
+tall man, in a very smart-looking, long, light top-coat,
+and a cap with a large peak shoved over his eyes, and he
+seemed very unsteady on his pins.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Drunk, by George!’</span> I said to myself
+at first.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The doctor—another young-looking
+man—hopped out after him, and they each took an arm, lugged
+their patient into the waiting-room, and popped him into an armchair.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page18">[pg 18]</span><a name="Pg18" id="Pg18" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+There he collapsed, and sat with his head hanging
+down as limp as a sucked orange.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I asked them if anything was the matter
+with him.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Only tired,—just a little
+sleepy,’</span> said the cousin.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And do you know, Escott, what I’d stake my best
+boots was the matter with him?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The man was drugged!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Escott looked at the fire thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“it’s quite possible; he might have
+been too violent to manage.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why couldn’t they have said so, then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“H’m. Not knowing, can’t say. What happened
+next?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Next thing was, I asked the doctor what
+name I should give. He answered in a kind of nervous way, <span class="tei tei-q">‘No
+name; you needn’t give any name. I know Dr Congleton
+personally. Ask him to come, please.’</span> So off I tooled, and
+found old Congers just thinking of turning in.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘My clients are sometimes unnecessarily
+discreet’</span>, he remarked in his pompous way when I told him about
+the arrival, and of course he added his usual platitude
+about our reputation for discretion.</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I went back with him to the waiting-room, and just
+stood at the door long enough to see him hail the doctor
+chap very cordially and be introduced to the patient’s
+cousin, and then I came away. Rather rum, isn’t
+it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You’ve certainly made the best of the yarn,”</span> said
+Escott with a laugh.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page19">[pg 19]</span><a name="Pg19" id="Pg19" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By George, if you’d been there you’d have thought
+it funny too.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, good-night, I’m off. We’ll probably hear
+to-morrow what it’s all about.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But in the morning there was little more to be learned
+about the new-comer’s history and antecedents. Dr
+Congleton spoke of the matter to the two young men,
+with the pompous cough that signified extreme discretion.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Brought by an old friend of mine,”</span> he said. <span class="tei tei-q">“A
+curious story, Escott, but quite intelligible. There seem
+to be the best reasons for answering no questions about
+him; you understand?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly, sir,”</span> said the two assistants, with the more
+assurance as they had no information to give.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am perfectly satisfied, mind you—perfectly satisfied,”</span>
+added their chief.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By the way, sir,”</span> Sherlaw ventured to remark, <span class="tei tei-q">“hadn’t
+they given him something in the way of a sleeping-draught?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Eh? Indeed? I hardly think so, Sherlaw, I hardly
+think so. Case of reaction entirely. Good morning.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Congleton seems satisfied,”</span> remarked Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll tell you what,”</span> said the junior, profoundly.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Old Congers is a very good chap, and all that, but he’s
+not what I should call extra sharp.
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span> should feel uncommon
+suspicious.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“H’m,”</span> replied Escott. <span class="tei tei-q">“As you say, our worthy
+chief is not extra sharp. But that’s not our business,
+after all.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0102" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page20">[pg 20]</span><a name="Pg20" id="Pg20" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc8" id="toc8"></a>
+<a name="pdf9" id="pdf9"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By the way,”</span> said Escott, a couple of days later,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“how is your mysterious man getting on? I haven’t
+seen him myself yet.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Sherlaw laughed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He’s turning out a regular sportsman, by George!
+For the first day he was more or less in the same state in
+which he arrived. Then he began to wake up and ask
+questions. <span class="tei tei-q">‘What the devil is this place?’</span> he said to me
+in the evening. It may sound profane, but he was very
+polite, I assure you. I told him, and he sort of raised
+his eyebrows, smiled, and thanked me like a Prime
+Minister acknowledging an obligation. Since then he
+has steadily developed sporting, not to say frisky, tastes.
+He went out this morning, and in five minutes had his
+arm round one of the prettiest nurses’ waist. And she
+didn’t seem to mind much either, by George!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He’ll want a bit of looking after, I take it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Seems to me he is uncommonly capable of taking
+care of himself. The rest of the establishment will want
+looking after, though.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">From this time forth the mysterious gentleman began
+to regularly take the air and to be remarked, and having
+once remarked him, people looked again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Francis Beveridge, for such it appeared was his
+name, was distinguished even for Clankwood. Though
+his antecedents were involved in mystery, so much confidence
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page21">[pg 21]</span><a name="Pg21" id="Pg21" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+was placed in Dr Congleton’s discrimination
+that the unknown stranger was at once received on the
+most friendly terms by every one; and, to tell the truth,
+it would have been hard to repulse him for long. His
+manner was perfect, his conversation witty to the extremest
+verge of propriety, and his clothes, fashionable
+in cut and of unquestionable fit, bore on such of the
+buttons as were made of metal the hall mark of a leading
+London firm. He wore the longest and most silky
+moustaches ever seen, and beneath them a short well-tended
+beard completed his resemblance—so the ladies
+declared—to King Charles of unhappy memory. The
+melancholic Mr Jones (quondam author of ‘Sunflowers—A
+Lyrical Medley’) declared, indeed, that for Mr
+Beveridge shaving was prohibited, and darkly whispered
+<span class="tei tei-q">“suicidal,”</span> but his opinion was held of little account.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was upon a morning about a week after his arrival
+that Dr Escott, alone in the billiard-room, saw him enter.
+Escott had by this time made his acquaintance, and,
+like almost everybody else, had already succumbed to
+the fascination of his address.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good morning, doctor,”</span> he said; <span class="tei tei-q">“I wish you to do
+me a trifling favour, a mere bending of your eyes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Escott laughed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall be delighted. What is it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge unbuttoned his waistcoat and displayed
+his shirt-front.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I only want you to be good enough to read the inscription
+written here.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor bent down.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page22">[pg 22]</span><a name="Pg22" id="Pg22" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Francis Beveridge,’</span> ”</span> he said. <span class="tei tei-q">“That’s
+all I see.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And that’s all I see,”</span> said Mr Beveridge. <span class="tei tei-q">“Now
+what can you read here? I am not troubling you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He held out his handkerchief as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not a bit,”</span> laughed the doctor, <span class="tei tei-q">“but I only see <span class="tei tei-q">‘Francis
+Beveridge’</span> here too, I’m afraid.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Everything has got it,”</span> said Mr Beveridge, shaking
+his head, it would be hard to say whether humorously
+or sadly. <span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Francis Beveridge’</span> on everything. It follows,
+I suppose, that I am Francis Beveridge?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What else?”</span> asked Escott, who was much amused.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That’s just it. What else?”</span> said the other. He
+smiled a peculiarly charming smile, thanked the doctor
+with exaggerated gratitude, and strolled out again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He is a rum chap,”</span> reflected Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And indeed in the outside world he might safely have
+been termed rather rum, but here in this backwater,
+so full of the oddest flotsam, his waywardness was rather
+less than the average. He had, for instance, a diverting
+habit of modifying the time, and even the tune, of the
+hymns on Sunday, and he confessed to having kissed
+all the nurses and housemaids except three. But both
+Escott and Sherlaw declared they had never met a more
+congenial spirit. Mr Beveridge’s game of billiards was
+quite remarkable even for Clankwood, where the enforced
+leisure of many of the noblemen and gentlemen had
+made them highly proficient on the spot; he showed every
+promise, on his rare opportunities, of being an unusually
+entertaining small hour, whisky-and-soda
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">raconteur</span></span>; in
+fact, he was evidently a man whose previous career,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page23">[pg 23]</span><a name="Pg23" id="Pg23" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+whatever it might have been (and his own statements
+merely served to increase the mystery round this point),
+had led him through many humorous by-paths, and left
+him with few restrictive prejudices.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">November became December, and to all appearances
+he had settled down in his new residence with complete
+resignation, when that unknowable factor that upsets so
+many calculations came upon the scene,—the factor, I
+mean, that wears a petticoat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge strolled into Escott’s room one morning
+to find the doctor inspecting a mixed assortment of white
+kid gloves.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do these mean past or future conquests?”</span> he asked
+with his smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Both,”</span> laughed the doctor. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’m trying to pick out
+a clean pair for the dance to-night.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You go a-dancing, then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t you know it’s our own monthly ball here?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course,”</span> said Mr Beveridge, passing his hand
+quickly across his brow. <span class="tei tei-q">“I must have heard, but things
+pass so quickly through my head nowadays.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He laughed a little conventional laugh, and gazed at
+the gloves.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are coming, of course?”</span> said Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you can lend me a pair of these. Can you spare
+one?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Help yourself,”</span> replied the doctor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge selected a pair with the care of a man
+who is particular in such matters, put them in his pocket,
+thanked the doctor, and went out.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page24">[pg 24]</span><a name="Pg24" id="Pg24" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hope he doesn’t play the fool,”</span> thought Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Invitations to the balls at Clankwood were naturally
+in great demand throughout the county, for nowhere
+were noblemen so numerous and divinities so tangible.
+Carriages and pairs rolled up one after another, the
+mansion glittered with lights, the strains of the band
+could be heard loud and stirring or low and faintly all
+through the house.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who is that man dancing opposite my daughter?”</span>
+asked the Countess of Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A Mr Beveridge,”</span> replied Dr Congleton.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge, in fact, the mark of all eyes, was dancing
+in a set of lancers. The couple opposite to him consisted
+of a stout elderly gentleman who, doubtless for the best
+reasons, styled himself the Emperor of the two Americas,
+and a charming little pink and flaxen partner—the Lady
+Alicia à Fyre, as everybody who was anybody could have
+told you. The handsome stranger moved, as might be
+expected, with his accustomed grace and air of distinction,
+and, probably to convince his admirers that there
+was nothing meretricious in his performance, he carried
+his hands in his pockets the whole time. This certainly
+caused a little inconvenience to his partner, but to be
+characteristic in Clankwood one had to step very far out
+of the beaten track.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For two figures the Emperor snorted disapproval,
+but at the end of the third, when Mr Beveridge had been
+skipping round the outskirts of the set, his hands still
+thrust out of sight, somewhat to the derangement of the
+customary procedure, he could contain himself no longer.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page25">[pg 25]</span><a name="Pg25" id="Pg25" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hey, young man!”</span> he asked in his most stentorian
+voice, as the music ceased, <span class="tei tei-q">“are you afraid of having your
+pockets picked?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alas!”</span> replied Mr Beveridge, <span class="tei tei-q">“it would take two men
+to do that.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Huh!”</span> snorted the Emperor, <span class="tei tei-q">“you are so d—d strong,
+are you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I mean,”</span> answered his
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">vis-à-vis</span></span> with his polite smile,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that it would take one man to put something in and
+another to take it out.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This remark not only turned the laugh entirely on Mr
+Beveridge’s side, but it introduced the upsetting factor.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0103" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc10" id="toc10"></a>
+<a name="pdf11" id="pdf11"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Lady Alicia à Fyre, though of the outer everyday
+world herself, had, in common with most families of any
+pretensions to ancient dignity, a creditable sprinkling
+of uncles and cousins domiciled in Clankwood, and so
+she frequently attended these dances.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To-night her eye had been caught by a tall, graceful
+figure executing a <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">pas seul</span></span>
+in the middle of the room with
+its hands in its pockets. The face of this gentleman was
+so composed and handsome, and he seemed so oblivious
+to the presence of everybody else, that her interest was
+immediately excited. During the set of lancers in which
+he was her <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">vis-à-vis</span></span> she
+watched him furtively with a
+growing feeling of admiration. She had never heard him
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page26">[pg 26]</span><a name="Pg26" id="Pg26" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+say a word, and it was with a sensation of the liveliest
+interest that she listened to his brief passage with her
+partner. At his final retort her tender heart was overcome
+with pity. He was poor, then, or at least he was
+allowed the use of no money. And all of him that was
+outside his pockets seemed so sane and so gentlemanly;
+it seemed a pity to let him lack a little sympathy.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Lady Alicia might be described as a becoming
+frock stuffed with sentiment. Through a pair of large
+blue eyes she drank in romance, and with the reddest
+and most undecided of lips she felt a vague desire to kiss
+something. At the end of the dance she managed by
+a series of little manœuvres to find herself standing close
+to his elbow. She sighed twice, but he still seemed absorbed
+in his thoughts. Then with a heroic effort she
+summed up her courage, and said in a low and rather
+shaky voice, <span class="tei tei-q">“You—you—you are unha—appy.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge turned and looked down on her with
+great interest. Her eyes met his for a moment and
+straightway sought the floor. Thus she saw nothing of
+a smile that came and went like the shadow of a puff of
+smoke. He took his hands out of his pockets, folded his
+arms, and, with an air of the deepest dejection, sighed
+heavily. She took courage and looked up again, and then,
+as he only gazed into space in the most romantically melancholy
+fashion and made no answer, she asked again
+very timidly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Wh—what is the matter?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Without saying a word Mr Beveridge bent courteously
+and offered her his right arm. She took it with the
+most delicious trepidation, glancing round hurriedly to see
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page27">[pg 27]</span><a name="Pg27" id="Pg27" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+whether the Countess noticed her. Another dance was
+just beginning, and in the general movement her mysterious
+acquaintance led her without observation to a
+seat in the window of a corridor. There he pressed her
+hand gently, stroked his long moustaches for a minute,
+and then said, with an air of reflection: <span class="tei tei-q">“There are three
+ways of making a woman like one. I am slightly out of
+practice. Would you be kind enough to suggest a
+method of procedure?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Such a beginning was so wholly unexpected that Lady
+Alicia could only give a little gasp of consternation.
+Her companion, after pausing an instant for a reply,
+went on in the same tone, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am aware that I have begun
+well. I attracted your attention, I elicited your sympathy,
+and I pressed your hand; but for the life of me I can’t
+remember what I generally do next.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of
+sympathy ready to be gulped down by this unfortunate
+gentleman, was only able to stammer, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—I really
+don’t know, Mr&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hamilton,”</span> said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. <span class="tei tei-q">“At
+least that name belongs to me as much as anything can
+be said to in a world where my creditors claim my money
+and Dr Congleton my person.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are confined and poor, you mean?”</span> asked Lady
+Alicia, beginning to see her way again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order,
+for if I had the wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should
+certainly cease to be confined.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page28">[pg 28]</span><a name="Pg28" id="Pg28" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+and Mr Beveridge continued, <span class="tei tei-q">“To return to the delicate
+subject from which we strayed, what would you like me to
+do,—put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
+or turn my back on you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Are—are those the three ways you spoke of—to
+make women like you, I mean?”</span> Lady Alicia ventured to
+ask, though she was beginning to wish the sofa was
+larger.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They are examples of the three classical methods:
+cuddling, humbugging, and piquing. Which do you
+prefer?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Tell me about your—your troubles,”</span> she answered,
+gaining courage a little.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You belong to the sex which makes no mention of
+figs and spades,”</span> he rejoined; <span class="tei tei-q">“but I understand you to
+mean that you prefer humbugging.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly
+into Lady Alicia’s blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent
+voice, <span class="tei tei-q">“My boyhood was troubled and unhappy: no kind
+words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel stepfather,
+ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
+heartless stepmother.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness
+that surprised herself, and a perspicacity that would
+have surprised her friends, asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“How could they—I
+mean, were they <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">both</span></span> step?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Several steps,”</span> he replied; <span class="tei tei-q">“in fact, quite a long
+journey.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain
+satisfied; but as he had paused a second time, and seemed
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page29">[pg 29]</span><a name="Pg29" id="Pg29" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+to be immersed in the study of his shoes, she inquired
+again, <span class="tei tei-q">“You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
+mean&mdash;&mdash;?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Deformities,”</span> he corrected; <span class="tei tei-q">“up to the age of fourteen
+years I could only walk sideways, and my hair parted in
+the middle.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies
+seemed to her the most touching misfortunes she had
+ever heard of. She murmured gently, <span class="tei tei-q">“Yes?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As the years advanced,”</span> Mr Beveridge continued,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“and I became more nearly the same weight as my stepfather,
+my life grew happier. It was decided to send me
+to college, so I was provided with an insufficient cheque,
+a complete set of plated forks, and three bath-towels,
+and despatched to the University of Oxford. At least
+I think that was the name of the corporation which took
+my money and endeavoured to restrict my habits, though,
+to confess the truth, my memory is not what it used to be.
+There I learned wisdom by the practice of folly—the
+most amusing and effective method. My tutor used to
+tell me I had some originality. I apologised for its presence
+in such a respectable institution, and undertook
+to pass an examination instead. I believe I succeeded:
+I certainly remember giving a dinner to celebrate something.
+Thereupon at my own expense the University
+inflicted a degree upon me, but I was shortly afterwards
+compensated by the death of my uncle and my accession
+to his estates. Having enjoyed a university education,
+and accordingly possessing a corrected and regulated
+sentiment, I was naturally inconsolable at the decease of
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page30">[pg 30]</span><a name="Pg30" id="Pg30" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+this venerable relative, who for so long had shown a
+kindly interest in the poor orphan lad.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia asked with
+great interest, <span class="tei tei-q">“But your step-parents, you always had
+them, hadn’t you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Never!”</span> he replied, sadly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Never?”</span> she exclaimed in some bewilderment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly not often,”</span> he answered, <span class="tei tei-q">“and oftener than
+not, never. If you had told me beforehand you wished
+to hear my history, I should have pruned my family
+tree into a more presentable shape. But if you will
+kindly tell me as I go along which of my relatives you
+disapprove of, and who you would like to be introduced,
+I shall arrange the plot to suit you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I only wish to hear the true story, Mr Hamilton.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Fortescue,”</span> he corrected. <span class="tei tei-q">“I certainly prefer to be
+called by one name at a time, but never by the same
+twice running.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He smiled so agreeably as he said this that Lady Alicia,
+though puzzled and a little hurt, could not refrain from
+smiling back.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let me hear the rest,”</span> she said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is no truer than the first part, but quite as entertaining.
+So, if you like, I shall endeavour to recall the
+series of painful episodes that brought me to Clankwood,”</span>
+he answered, very seriously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia settled herself comfortably into one corner of
+the sofa and prepared to feel affected. But at that moment
+the portly form of Dr Congleton appeared from the direction
+of the ballroom with a still more portly dowager on his arm.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page31">[pg 31]</span><a name="Pg31" id="Pg31" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My mother!”</span> exclaimed Lady Alicia, rising quickly
+to her feet.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed?”</span> said Mr Beveridge, who still kept his seat.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“She certainly looks handsome enough.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This speech made Lady Alicia blush very becomingly,
+and the Countess looked at her sharply.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where have you been, Alicia?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The room was rather warm, mamma, and&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In short, madam,”</span> interrupted Mr Beveridge, rising
+and bowing, <span class="tei tei-q">“your charming daughter wished to study
+a lunatic at close quarters. I am mad, and I obligingly
+raved. Thus&mdash;&mdash;”</span> He ran one hand through his hair
+so as to make it fall over his eyes, blew out his cheeks,
+and uttering a yell, sprang high into the air, and descended
+in a sitting posture on the floor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That, madam, is a very common symptom,”</span> he explained,
+with a smile, smoothing down his hair again, <span class="tei tei-q">“as
+our friend Dr Congleton will tell you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Both the doctor and the Countess were too astonished
+to make any reply, so he turned again to Lady Alicia,
+and offering his arm, said, <span class="tei tei-q">“Let me lead you back to our
+fellow-fools.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is he safe?”</span> whispered the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—I believe so,”</span> replied Dr Congleton in some
+confusion; <span class="tei tei-q">“but I shall have him watched more carefully.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they entered the room Mr Beveridge whispered,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Will you meet a poor lunatic again?”</span> And the Lady
+Alicia pressed his arm.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0104" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page32">[pg 32]</span><a name="Pg32" id="Pg32" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc12" id="toc12"></a>
+<a name="pdf13" id="pdf13"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">On the morning after the dance Dr Congleton summoned
+Dr Escott to his room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Escott,”</span> he began, <span class="tei tei-q">“we must keep a little sharper
+eye on Mr Beveridge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed, sir?”</span> said Escott; <span class="tei tei-q">“he seems to me harmless
+enough.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Nevertheless, he must be watched. Lady Grillyer
+was considerably alarmed by his conduct last night,
+and a client who has confided so many of her relatives
+to my care must be treated with the greatest regard. I
+receive pheasants at Christmas from no fewer than fourteen
+families of title, and my reputation for discretion
+is too valuable to be risked. When Mr Beveridge is
+not under your own eyes you must see that Moggridge
+always keeps him in sight.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Accordingly Moggridge, a burly and seasoned attendant
+on refractory patients, was told off to keep an unobtrusive
+eye on that accomplished gentleman. His duties appeared
+light enough, for, as I have said, Mr Beveridge’s eccentricities
+had hitherto been merely of the most playful
+nature.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After luncheon on this same day he gave Escott twelve
+breaks and a beating at billiards, and then having borrowed
+and approved of one of his cigars, he strolled into
+the park. If he intended to escape observation, he certainly
+showed the most skilful strategy, for he dodged
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page33">[pg 33]</span><a name="Pg33" id="Pg33" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+deviously through the largest trees, and at last, after a
+roundabout ramble, struck a sheltered walk that ran
+underneath the high, glass-decked outer wall. It was
+a sunny winter afternoon. The boughs were stripped,
+and the leaves lay littered on the walk or flickered and
+stirred through the grass. In this spot the high trees
+stood so close and the bare branches were so thick that
+there was still an air of quiet and seclusion where he
+paced and smoked. Every now and then he stopped and
+listened and looked at his watch, and as he walked backwards
+and forwards an amused smile would come and go.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">All at once he heard something move on the far side
+of the wall: he paused to make sure, and then he whistled,
+<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E1" id="E1" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e1" class="tei tei-ref">the</a></span>
+sounds outside ceased, and in a moment something
+fell softly behind him. He turned quickly and snatched
+up a little buttonhole of flowers with a still smaller note
+tied to the stems.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“An uncommonly happy idea,”</span> he said to himself,
+looking at the missive with the air of one versed in these
+matters. Then he leisurely proceeded to unfold and read
+the note.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To my friend,”</span> he read, <span class="tei tei-q">“if I may call you a friend,
+since I have known you only <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">such a
+short time</span></span>—may I?
+This is just to express my sympathy, and although I
+cannot express it well, still perhaps you will forgive my
+feeble effort!!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At this point, just as he was regarding the double
+mark of exclamation with reminiscent entertainment, a
+plaintive voice from the other side of the wall cried in a
+stage whisper, <span class="tei tei-q">“Have you got it?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page34">[pg 34]</span><a name="Pg34" id="Pg34" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge composed his face, and heaving his
+shoulders to his ears in the effort, gave vent to a prodigious
+sigh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A million thanks, my fairest and kindest of friends,”</span>
+he answered in the same tone. <span class="tei tei-q">“I read it now: I drink
+it in, I&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He kissed the back of his hand loudly two or three
+times, sighed again, and continued his reading.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wish I could help you,”</span> it ran, <span class="tei tei-q">“but I am afraid I
+cannot, as the world is <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">so
+censorious</span></span>, is it not? So you
+must accept a friend’s sympathy if it does not seem to
+you too bold and forward of her!!! Perhaps we may
+meet again, as I sometimes go to Clankwood. <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">Au revoir.</span></span>—Your sympathetic
+well-wisher. <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">A. à. F.</span></span>”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He folded it up and put it in his waistcoat-pocket,
+then he exclaimed in an audible aside, his voice shaking
+with the most affecting thrill, <span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">Perhaps</span></span> we may meet
+again! Only <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">perhaps!</span></span> O
+Alicia!”</span> And then dropping
+again into a stage whisper, he asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“Are you still
+there, Lady Alicia?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A timorous voice replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, Mr Fortescue. But I
+really <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">must</span></span> go now!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Now? So soon?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have stayed too long already.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“’Tis better to have stayed too long than never to wear
+stays at all,”</span> replied Mr Beveridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was no response for a moment. Then a low
+voice, a little hurt and a good deal puzzled, asked with
+evident hesitation, <span class="tei tei-q">“What—what did you say, Mr
+Fortescue?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page35">[pg 35]</span><a name="Pg35" id="Pg35" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I said that Lady Alicia’s stay cannot be too long,”</span>
+he answered, softly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But—but what good can I be?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The good you cannot help being.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was another moment’s pause, then the voice
+whispered, <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t quite understand you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My Alicia understands me not!”</span> Mr Beveridge
+soliloquised in another audible aside. Aloud, or rather
+in a little lower tone, he answered, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am friendless,
+poor, and imprisoned. What is the good in your staying?
+Ah, Lady Alicia! But why should I detain you? Go,
+fair friend! Go and forget poor Francis Beveridge!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There came a soft, surprised answer, <span class="tei tei-q">“Francis Beveridge?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alas! you have guessed my secret. Yes, that is the
+name of the unhappiest of mortals.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he spoke these melancholy words he threw away
+the stump of his cigar, took another from his case, and
+bit off the end.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The voice replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall remember it—among my
+friends.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge struck a match.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“H’sh! Whatever is that?”</span> cried the voice in alarm.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A heart breaking,”</span> he replied, lighting his cigar.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t talk like that,”</span> said the voice. <span class="tei tei-q">“It—it
+distresses me.”</span> There was a break in the voice.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And, alas! between distress and consolation there
+are fifteen perpendicular feet of stone and mortar and
+the relics of twelve hundred bottles of Bass,”</span> he replied.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page36">[pg 36]</span><a name="Pg36" id="Pg36" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perhaps,”</span>—the voice hesitated—<span class="tei tei-q">“perhaps we may
+see each other some day.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Say to-morrow at four o’clock,”</span> he suggested, pertinently.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“If you could manage to be passing up the
+drive at that hour.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was another pause.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perhaps&mdash;&mdash;”</span> the voice began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At that moment he heard the sharp crack of a branch
+behind him, and turning instantly he spied the uncompromising
+countenance of Moggridge peering round a
+tree about twenty paces distant. Lack of presence of
+mind and quick decision were not amongst Mr Beveridge’s
+failings. He struck a theatrical attitude at once,
+and began in a loud voice, gazing up at the tops of the
+trees, <span class="tei tei-q">“He comes! A stranger comes! Yes, my fair
+friend, we may meet again. <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">Au
+revoir</span></span>, but only for a
+while! Ah, that a breaking heart should be lit for a
+moment and then the lamp be put out!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Meanwhile Moggridge was walking towards him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, Moggridge!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“Good day.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Time you was goin’ in, sir,”</span> said Moggridge, stolidly;
+and to himself he muttered, <span class="tei tei-q">“He’s crackeder than I
+thought, a-shoutin’ and a-ravin’ to hisself. Just as well
+I kept a heye on ’im.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Like most clever people, Mr Beveridge generally followed
+the line of least resistance. He slipped his arm
+through his attendant’s, shouted a farewell apparently
+to some imaginary divinity overhead, and turned towards
+the house.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This is an unexpected pleasure,”</span> he remarked.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page37">[pg 37]</span><a name="Pg37" id="Pg37" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, sir,”</span> replied Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Funny thing your turning up. Out for a walk, I
+suppose?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“For a stroll, sir—that’s to say&mdash;&mdash;”</span> he stopped.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That on these chilly afternoons the dear good doctor
+is afraid of my health?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That’s kind o’ it, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But of course I’m not supposed to notice anything,
+eh?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Moggridge looked a trifle uncomfortable and was discreetly
+silent. Mr Beveridge smiled at his own perspicacity,
+and then began in the most friendly tone,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I feel flattered that so stout a man has been told
+off to take care of me. What an arm you’ve got, man.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Pretty fair, sir,”</span> said Moggridge, complacently.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And I am thankful, too,”</span> continued Mr Beveridge,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that you’re a man of some sense. There are a lot of
+fools in the world, Moggridge, and I’m somewhat of an
+epicure in the matter of heads.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mine ’as been considered pretty sharp,”</span> Moggridge
+admitted, with a gratified relaxation of his wooden countenance.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have a cigar?”</span> his patient asked, taking out his
+case.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank you, sir, I don’t mind if I do.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You will find it a capital smoke. I don’t throw them
+away on every one.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Moggridge, completely thawed, lit his cigar and slackened
+his pace, for such frank appreciation of his merits
+was rare in a critical world.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page38">[pg 38]</span><a name="Pg38" id="Pg38" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You can perhaps believe, Moggridge,”</span> said Mr
+Beveridge, reflectively, <span class="tei tei-q">“that one doesn’t often have the
+chance of talking confidentially to a man of sense in
+Clankwood.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir, I should himagine not.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And so one has sometimes to talk to oneself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This was said so sadly that Moggridge began to feel
+uncomfortably affected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, Moggridge, one cannot always keep silence,
+even when one least wants to be overheard. Have you
+ever been in love, Moggridge?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The burly keeper changed countenance a little at this
+embarrassingly direct question, and answered diffidently,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, sir, to be sure men is men and woming will be
+woming.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The deuce, they will!”</span> replied Mr Beveridge, cordially;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“and it’s rather hard to forget ’em, eh?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hindeed it is, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I remembered this afternoon, but I should like you
+as a good chap to forget. You won’t mention my moment
+of weakness, Moggridge?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir,”</span> said Moggridge, stoutly. <span class="tei tei-q">“I suppose I
+hought to report what I sees, but I won’t this time.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank you,”</span> said Mr Beveridge, pressing his arm.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I had, you know, a touch of the sun in India, and I
+sometimes talk when I shouldn’t. Though, after all,
+that isn’t a very uncommon complaint.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And so it happened that no rumour prejudicial either
+to his sanity or to the progress of his friendship with the
+Lady Alicia reached the ears of the authorities.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0105" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page39">[pg 39]</span><a name="Pg39" id="Pg39" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc14" id="toc14"></a>
+<a name="pdf15" id="pdf15"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Towards four o’clock on the following afternoon Mr
+Beveridge and Moggridge were walking leisurely down
+the long drive leading from the mansion of Clankwood
+to the gate that opened on the humdrum outer world.
+Finding that an inelastic matter of yards was all the
+tether he could hope for, Mr Beveridge thought it best
+to take the bull by the horns, and make a companion of
+this necessity. So he kept his attendant by his side,
+and regaled him for some time with a series of improbable
+reminiscences and tolerable cigars, till at last, round a
+bend of the avenue, a lady on horseback came into view.
+As she drew a little nearer he stopped with an air of great
+surprise and pleasure.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I believe, Moggridge, that must be Lady Alicia à
+Fyre!”</span> he exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It looks huncommon like her, sir,”</span> replied Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I must really speak to her. She was”</span>—and Mr
+Beveridge assumed his inimitable air of manly sentiment—<span class="tei tei-q">“she
+was one of my poor mother’s dearest friends.
+Do you mind, Moggridge, falling behind a little? In
+fact, if you could step behind a tree and wait here for
+me, it would be pleasanter for us both. We used to
+meet under happier circumstances, and, don’t you know,
+it might distress her to be reminded of my misfortunes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Such a reasonable request, beseechingly put by so fine
+a gentleman, could scarcely be refused. Moggridge retired
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page40">[pg 40]</span><a name="Pg40" id="Pg40" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+behind the trees that lined the avenue, and Mr
+Beveridge advanced alone to meet the Lady Alicia.
+She blushed very becomingly as he raised his hat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I hardly expected to see you to-day, Mr Beveridge,”</span>
+she began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I, on the other hand, have been thinking of nothing
+else,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She blushed still deeper, but responded a little reprovingly,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“It’s very polite of you to say so, but&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not a bit,”</span> said he. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have a dozen equally well-turned
+sentences at my disposal, and, they tell me, a
+most deluding way of saying them.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Suddenly out of her depth again, poor Lady Alicia
+could only strike out at random.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who tell you?”</span> she managed to say.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“First, so far as my poor memory goes, my mother’s
+lady’s-maid informed me of the fact; then I think my sister’s
+governess,”</span> he replied, ticking off his informants on his
+fingers with a half-abstracted air. <span class="tei tei-q">“After that came a
+number of more or less reliable individuals, and lastly
+the Lady Alicia à Fyre.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Me? I’m sure I never said&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“None of them
+ever <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">said</span></span>,”</span> he interrupted.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But what have I done, then?”</span> she asked, tightening
+her reins, and making her horse fidget a foot or two farther
+away.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have begun to be a most adorable friend to a
+most unfortunate man.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Still Lady Alicia looked at him a little dubiously, and
+only said, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—I hope I’m not too friendly.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page41">[pg 41]</span><a name="Pg41" id="Pg41" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There are no degrees in friendly,”</span> he replied. <span class="tei tei-q">“There
+are only aloofly, friendly, and more than friendly.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—I think I ought to be going on, Mr Beveridge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That experienced diplomatist perceived that it was
+necessary to further embellish himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Are you fond of soldiers?”</span> he asked, abruptly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon?”</span> she said in considerable bewilderment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Does a red coat, a medal, and a brass band appeal to
+you? Are you apt to be interested in her Majesty’s army?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I generally like soldiers,”</span> she admitted, still much
+surprised at the turn the conversation had taken.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then I was a soldier.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But—really?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I held a commission in one of the crackest cavalry
+regiments,”</span> he began dramatically, and yet with a great
+air of sincerity. <span class="tei tei-q">“I was considered one of the most
+promising officers in the mess. It nearly broke my heart
+to leave the service.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He turned away his head. Lady Alicia was visibly
+affected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am so sorry!”</span> she murmured.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Still keeping his face turned away, he held out his
+hand and she pressed it gently.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sorrow cannot give me my freedom,”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If there is anything I can do&mdash;&mdash;”</span> she began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dismount,”</span> he said, looking up at her tenderly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia never quite knew how it happened,
+but certainly she found herself standing on the ground,
+and the next moment Mr Beveridge was in her place.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page42">[pg 42]</span><a name="Pg42" id="Pg42" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“An old soldier,”</span> he exclaimed, gaily; <span class="tei tei-q">“I can’t resist
+the temptation of having a canter.”</span> And with that he
+started at a gallop towards the gate.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With a blasphemous ejaculation Moggridge sprang
+from behind his tree, and set off down the drive in hot
+pursuit.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia screamed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Stop! stop! Francis—I mean,
+Mr Beveridge; stop, please!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But the favorite of the crack regiment, despite the
+lady’s saddle, sat his steed well, and rapidly left cries
+and footsteps far behind. The lodge was nearly half a
+mile away, and as the avenue wound between palisades
+of old trees, the shouts became muffled, and when he
+looked over his shoulder he saw in the stretch behind him
+no sign of benefactress or pursuer. By continued exhortations
+and the point of his penknife he kept his horse
+at full stretch; round the next bend he knew he should
+see the gates.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Five to one on the blank things being shut,”</span> he
+muttered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He swept round the curve, and there ahead of him he
+saw the gates grimly closed, and at the lodge door a dismounted
+groom, standing beside his horse.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Only remarking <span class="tei tei-q">“Damn!”</span> he reined up, turned,
+and trotted quietly back again. Presently he met Moggridge,
+red in the face, muddy as to his trousers, and
+panting hard.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Nice little nag this, Moggridge,”</span> he remarked, airily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Nice sweat you’ve give me,”</span> rejoined his attendant,
+wrathfully.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page43">[pg 43]</span><a name="Pg43" id="Pg43" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You don’t mean to say you ran after me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I does mean to say,”</span> Moggridge replied grimly,
+seizing the reins.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Want to lead him? Very well—it makes us look
+quite like the Derby winner coming in.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Derby loser you means, thanks to them gates bein’
+shut.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Gates shut? Were they? I didn’t happen to
+notice.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, o’ course not,”</span> said Moggridge, sarcastically;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that there sunstroke you got in India prevented you, I
+suppose?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have a cigar?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To this overture Moggridge made no reply. Mr
+Beveridge laughed and continued lightly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I had no
+idea you were so fond of exercise. I’d have given you
+a lead all round the park if I’d known.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You’d ’ave given me a lead all round the county if
+them gates ’ad been open.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It might have been difficult to stop this fiery animal,”</span>
+Mr Beveridge admitted. <span class="tei tei-q">“But now, Moggridge, the run
+is over. I think I can take Lady Alicia’s horse back to
+her myself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Moggridge smiled grimly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You won’t let go?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No fears.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge put his hand behind his back and silently
+drove the penknife a quarter of an inch into his mount’s
+hind quarters. In an instant his keeper felt himself
+being lifted nearly off his feet, and in another actually
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page44">[pg 44]</span><a name="Pg44" id="Pg44" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+deposited on his face. Off went the accomplished horseman
+again at top speed, but this time back to Lady Alicia.
+He saw her standing by the side of the drive, her handkerchief
+to her eyes, a penitent and disconsolate little
+figure. When she heard him coming, she dried her eyes
+and looked up, but her face was still tearful.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I am back from my ride,”</span> he remarked in a
+perfectly usual voice, dismounting as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The man!”</span> she cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“where is that dreadful man?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What man?”</span> he asked in some surprise.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The man who chased you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge laughed aloud, at which Lady Alicia
+took fresh refuge in her handkerchief.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He follows on foot,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Did he catch you? Oh, why didn’t you escape
+altogether?”</span> she sobbed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge looked at her with growing interest.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I had begun to forget my petticoat psychology,”</span> he
+reflected (aloud, after his unconventional fashion).</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, here he comes,”</span> she shuddered. <span class="tei tei-q">“All blood!
+Oh, what have you done to him?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“On my honour, nothing,—I merely haven’t washed
+his face.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By this time Moggridge was coming close upon them.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You won’t forget a poor soldier?”</span> said Mr Beveridge
+in a lower voice.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was no reply.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">poor</span></span> soldier,”</span> he
+added, with a sigh, glancing at
+her from the corner of his eye. <span class="tei tei-q">“So poor that even if
+I had got out, I could only have ridden till I dropped.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page45">[pg 45]</span><a name="Pg45" id="Pg45" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Would you accept&mdash;&mdash;?”</span> she began, timidly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What day?”</span> he interrupted, hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Tuesday,”</span> she hesitated.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Four o’clock, again. Same place as before. When
+I whistle throw it over at once.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Before they had time to say more, Moggridge, blood- and
+gravel-stained, came up.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s all right, miss,”</span> he said, coming between them;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll see that he plays no more of ’is tricks.
+There’s nothin’ to be afrightened of.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Stand back!”</span> she cried; <span class="tei tei-q">“don’t come near me!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Moggridge was too staggered at this outburst to say
+a word.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Stand away!”</span> she said, and the bewildered attendant
+stood away. She turned to Mr Beveridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Now, will you help me up?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She mounted lightly, said a brief farewell, and, forgetting
+all about the call at Clankwood she had ostensibly
+come to pay, turned her horse’s head towards the lodge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I’m blowed!”</span> said Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They do blow one,”</span> his patient assented.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Naturally enough the story of this equestrian adventure
+soon ran through Clankwood. The exact particulars,
+however, were a little hard to collect, for while Moggridge
+supplied many minute and picturesque details,
+illustrating his own activity and presence of mind and
+the imminent peril of the Lady Alicia, Mr Beveridge recounted
+an equally vivid story of a runaway horse recovered
+by himself to its fair owner’s unbounded gratitude.
+Official opinion naturally accepted the official
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page46">[pg 46]</span><a name="Pg46" id="Pg46" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+account, and for the next few days Mr Beveridge became
+an object of considerable anxiety and mistrust.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I can’t make the man out,”</span> said Sherlaw to Escott.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I had begun to think there was nothing much the matter
+with him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No more there is,”</span> replied Escott. <span class="tei tei-q">“His memory
+seems to me to have suffered from something, and he
+simply supplies its place in conversation from his imagination,
+and in action from the inspiration of the moment.
+The methods of society are too orthodox for such an
+aberration, and as his friends doubtless pay a handsome
+fee to keep him here, old Congers labels him mad and
+locks the door on him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A day or two afterwards official opinion was a little
+disturbed. Lady Alicia, in reply to anxious inquiries,
+gave a third version of the adventure, from which nothing
+in particular could be gathered except that nothing in
+particular had happened.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you make of this, Escott?”</span> asked Dr Congleton,
+laying her note before his assistant.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Merely that a woman wrote it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hum! I suppose that <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">is</span></span> the
+explanation.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Upon which the doctor looked profound and went to
+lunch.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0106" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc16" id="toc16"></a>
+<a name="pdf17" id="pdf17"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Two five-pound notes, half-a-sovereign, and seven
+and sixpence in silver,”</span> said Mr Beveridge to himself.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, and a card.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page47">[pg 47]</span><a name="Pg47" id="Pg47" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">On the card was written, <span class="tei tei-q">“From a friend, if you will
+accept it. A.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He was standing under the wall, in the secluded walk,
+holding a little lady’s purse in his hand, and listening
+to two different footsteps. One little pair of feet were
+hurrying away on the farther side of the high wall, another
+and larger were approaching him at a run.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Wot’s he bin up to now, I wonder,”</span> Moggridge
+panted to himself—for the second pair of feet belonged
+to him. <span class="tei tei-q">“Shamming nose-bleed and sending me in
+for an ’andkerchief, and then sneaking off here by
+’isself!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What a time you’ve been,”</span> said Mr Beveridge, slipping
+the purse with its contents into his pocket. <span class="tei tei-q">“I was
+so infernally cold I had to take a little walk. Got the
+handkerchief?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In silence and with a suspicious solemnity Moggridge
+handed him the handkerchief, and they turned back for
+the house.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Now for a balloon,”</span> Mr Beveridge reflected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Certainly it was cold. The frost nipped sharp that
+night, and next morning there were ice gardens on the
+windows, and the park lay white all through the winter
+sunshine.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By evening the private lake was reported to be bearing,
+and the next day it hummed under the first skaters.
+Hardly necessary to say Mr Beveridge was among the
+earliest of them, or that he was at once the object of
+general admiration and envy. He traced <span class="tei tei-q">“vines”</span> and
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Q’s,”</span> and performed wonderful feats on one leg all
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page48">[pg 48]</span><a name="Pg48" id="Pg48" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+morning. At lunch he was in the best of spirits, and was
+off again at once to the ice.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When he reached the lake in the afternoon the first
+person he spied was Lady Alicia, and five minutes afterwards
+they were sailing off together hand in hand.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I knew you would come to-day,”</span> he remarked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“How <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">could</span></span> you have
+known? It was by the merest chance I happened to come.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It has always been by the merest chance that any
+of them have ever come.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who have ever come?”</span> she inquired, with a vague
+feeling that he had said something he ought not to have,
+and that she was doing the same.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Many things,”</span> he smiled, <span class="tei tei-q">“including purses. Which
+reminds me that I am eternally your debtor.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She blushed and said, <span class="tei tei-q">“I hope you didn’t mind.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not much,”</span> he answered, candidly. <span class="tei tei-q">“In my present
+circumstances a five-pound note is more acceptable than
+a caress.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Lady Alicia again remembered the maidenly
+proprieties, and tried to change the subject.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What beautiful ice!”</span> she said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The question now is,”</span> he continued, paying no heed
+to this diversion, <span class="tei tei-q">“what am I to do next?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you mean?”</span> she asked a little faintly,
+realising dimly that she was being regarded as a fellow-conspirator
+in some unlawful project.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The wall is high, there is bottle-glass on the top, and
+I shall find it hard to bring away a fresh pair of trousers,
+and probably draughty if I don’t. The gates are always
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page49">[pg 49]</span><a name="Pg49" id="Pg49" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+kept closed, and it isn’t worth any one’s while to open
+them for £10, 17s. 6d., less the price of a first-class ticket
+up to town. What are we to do?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We?”</span> she gasped.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You and I,”</span> he explained.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But—but I can’t <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">possibly</span></span> do anything.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“ <span class="tei tei-q">‘Can’t possibly’</span> is a phrase I have learned
+to misunderstand.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Really, Mr Beveridge, I mustn’t do anything.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mustn’t is an invariable preface to a sin. Never
+use it; it’s a temptation in itself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It wouldn’t be right,”</span> she said, with quite a show of
+firmness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He looked at her a little curiously. For a moment he
+almost seemed puzzled. Then he pressed her hand and
+asked tenderly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Why not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And in a half-audible aside he added, <span class="tei tei-q">“That’s the
+correct move, I think.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What did you say?”</span> she asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I said, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Why not?’</span> ”</span> he answered, with increasing
+tenderness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But you said something else.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I added a brief prayer for pity.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia sighed and repeated a little less firmly.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“It wouldn’t be right of me, Mr Beveridge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But what would be wrong?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This was said with even more fervour.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My conscience—we are very particular, you know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who are <span class="tei tei-q">‘we’</span>?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Papa is <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">very</span></span> strict
+High Church.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page50">[pg 50]</span><a name="Pg50" id="Pg50" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">An idea seemed to strike Mr Beveridge, for he ruminated
+in silence.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I asked Mr Candles—our curate, you know,”</span> Lady
+Alicia continued, with a heroic effort to make her position
+clear.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You told him!”</span> he exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, I didn’t say who it was—I mean what it was I
+thought of doing—I mean the temptation—that is, the
+possibility. And he said it was very kind of me to think
+of it; but I mustn’t do anything, and he advised me to
+read a book he gave me, and—and I mustn’t think of
+it, really, Mr Beveridge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To himself Mr Beveridge repeated under his breath,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Archbishops, bishops, deacons, curates, fast in Lent,
+and an anthem after the Creed. I think I remember
+enough to pass.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Then he assumed a very serious face, and said aloud,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Your scruples do your heart credit. They have given
+me an insight into your deep and sweet character, which
+emboldens me to make a confession.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stopped skating, folded his arms, and continued
+unblushingly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I was educated for the Church, but
+the prejudices of my parents, the immature scepticism
+of youth, and some uncertainty about obtaining my
+archbishopric, induced me in an unfortunate moment,
+which I never ceased to bitterly regret, to quit my
+orders.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are in orders?”</span> she exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I was in several. I cancelled them, and entered the
+Navy instead.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page51">[pg 51]</span><a name="Pg51" id="Pg51" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The Navy?”</span> she asked, excusably bewildered by
+these rapid changes of occupation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“For five years I was never ashore.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But,”</span> she hesitated—<span class="tei tei-q">“but you said you were in the
+Army.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Beveridge gave her a look full of benignant compassion
+that made her, she did not quite know why, feel terribly
+abashed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My regiment was quartered at sea,”</span> he condescended
+to explain. <span class="tei tei-q">“But in time my conscience awoke. I
+announced my intention of resuming my charge. My
+uncle was furious. My enemies were many. I was
+seized, thrown into this prison-house, and now my only
+friend fails me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They were both silent. She ventured once to glance
+up at his face, and it seemed to her that his eyes were
+moist—though perhaps it was that her own were a little
+dim.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let us skate on,”</span> he said abruptly, with a fine air of
+resignation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By the way,”</span> he suddenly added, <span class="tei tei-q">“I was extremely
+High Church, in fact almost freezingly high.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For five minutes they skated in silence, then Lady
+Alicia began softly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Supposing you—you went away&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What is the use of talking of it?”</span> he exclaimed, melodramatically.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Let me forget my short-lived hopes!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">have</span></span> a
+friend,”</span> she said, slowly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A friend who tantalises me by <span class="tei tei-q">‘supposings’</span>!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But supposing you did, Mr Beveridge, would you
+go back to your—did you say you had a parish?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page52">[pg 52]</span><a name="Pg52" id="Pg52" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I had: a large, populous, and happy parish. It is
+my one dream to sit once more on its council and direct
+my curate.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course that makes a difference. Mr Candles
+didn’t know all this.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They had come by this time to the corner of a little
+island that lay not far from the shore; in the channel
+ahead a board labelled <span class="tei tei-q">“Danger”</span> marked a hidden
+spring; behind them the shining ice was almost bare of
+skaters, for all but Dr Escott seemed to be leaving; on
+the bank they could see Moggridge prowling about in
+the gathering dusk, a vigilant reminder of captivity.
+Mr Beveridge took the whole scene in with, it is to be
+feared, a militant rather than an episcopal eye. Then
+he suddenly asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“Are you alone?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You drive back?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ye<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E2" id="E2" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e2" class="tei tei-ref">—</a></span>es.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He took out his watch and made a brief calculation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Go now, call at Clankwood or do anything else you
+like, and pass down the drive again at a quarter to five.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This sudden pinning of her irresolution almost took
+Lady Alicia’s breath away.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But I never said&mdash;&mdash;”</span> she began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear friend,”</span> he interrupted, <span class="tei tei-q">“in the hour of
+action only a fool ever says. Come on.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And while she still hesitated they were off again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But&mdash;&mdash;”</span> she tried to expostulate.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dearest friend,”</span> he whispered, <span class="tei tei-q">“and my dear
+old vicarage!”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page53">[pg 53]</span><a name="Pg53" id="Pg53" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He gave her no time to protest. Her skates were off,
+she was on her way to her carriage, and he was striking
+out again for the middle of the lake before she had time
+to collect her wits.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He took out his watch and looked at the time. It
+was nearly a quarter-past four. Then he came up to
+Escott, who by this time was the only other soul on the ice.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“About time we were going in,”</span> said Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Give me half-an-hour more. I’ll show you how to
+do that vine you admired.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All right,”</span> assented the doctor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A minute or two later Mr Beveridge, as if struck by
+a sudden reflection, exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“By Jove, there’s that
+poor devil Moggridge freezing to death on shore. Can’t
+you manage to look after so dangerous a lunatic yourself?
+It is his tea-time, too.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hallo, so he is,”</span> replied Escott; <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll
+send him up.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And so there were only left the two men on the ice.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a little the lesson went on, and presently, leaving
+the doctor to practise, Mr Beveridge skated away by
+himself. He first paused opposite a seat on the bank
+over which hung Dr Escott’s great fur coat. This
+spectacle appeared to afford him peculiar pleasure.
+Then he looked at his watch. It was half-past four.
+He shut the watch with a click, threw a glance at his
+pupil, and struck out for the island. If the doctor had
+been looking, he might have seen him round it in the
+gloaming.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Dr Escott, leaning far on his outside edge, met him
+as he returned.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page54">[pg 54]</span><a name="Pg54" id="Pg54" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What’s that under your coat?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A picture I intend to ask your opinion on presently,”</span>
+replied Mr Beveridge; and he added, with his most
+charming air, <span class="tei tei-q">“But now, before we go in, let me give
+you a ride on one of these chairs, doctor.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They started off, the pace growing faster and faster,
+and presently Dr Escott saw that they were going behind
+the island.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Look out for the spring!”</span> he cried.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It must be bearing now,”</span> replied Mr Beveridge,
+striking out harder than ever; <span class="tei tei-q">“they have taken away
+the board.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All right,”</span> said the doctor, <span class="tei tei-q">“on you go.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he spoke he felt a violent push, and the chair, slewing
+round as it went, flew on its course unguided. Mr
+Beveridge’s skates rasped on the ice with a spray of
+white powder as he stopped himself suddenly. Ahead
+of him there was a rending crack, and Dr Escott and his
+chair disappeared. Mr Beveridge laughed cheerfully,
+and taking from under his coat a board with the legend
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Danger”</span> printed in large characters across its face,
+he placed it beside the jagged hole.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Here is the picture, doctor,”</span> he said, as a dripping,
+gasping head came up for the second time. <span class="tei tei-q">“I must
+ask a thousand pardons for this—shall I say, liberty?
+But, as you know, I’m off my head. Good night. Let
+me recommend a hot drink when you come out. There
+are only five feet of water, so you won’t drown.”</span> And
+with that he skated rapidly away.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Escott had a glimpse of him vanishing round the corner
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page55">[pg 55]</span><a name="Pg55" id="Pg55" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+of the island, and then the ice broke again, and down he
+went. Four, five, six times he made a desperate effort
+to get out, and every time the thin ice tore under his
+hands, and he slipped back again. By the seventh
+attempt he had broken his way to the thicker sheet; he
+got one leg up, slipped, got it up again, and at last, half
+numbed and wholly breathless, he was crawling circumspectly
+away. When at last he ventured to rise to
+his feet, he skated with all the speed he could make to
+the seat where he had left his coat. A pair of skates
+lay there instead, but the coat had vanished. Dr Escott’s
+philosophical estimate of Mr Beveridge became considerably
+modified.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank the Lord, he can’t get out of the grounds,”</span>
+he said to himself; <span class="tei tei-q">“what a dangerous devil he is! But
+he’ll be sorry for this performance, or I’m mistaken.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When he arrived at the house his first inquiries were
+for his tutor in the art of vine-cutting, and he was rather
+surprised to hear that he had not yet returned, for he
+only imagined himself the victim of a peculiarly ill-timed
+practical joke.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Men with lanterns were sent out to search the park;
+and still there was no sign of Mr Beveridge. Inquiries
+were made at the lodge, but the gatekeeper could swear
+that only a single carriage had passed through. Dr
+Congleton refused at first to believe that he could possibly
+have got out.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Our arrangements are perfect,—the thing’s absurd,”</span>
+he said, peremptorily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That there man, sir,”</span> replied Moggridge, who had
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page56">[pg 56]</span><a name="Pg56" id="Pg56" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+been summoned, <span class="tei tei-q">“is the slipperiest customer as ever I
+seed. ’E’s hout, sir, I believe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We might at least try the stations,”</span> suggested Escott,
+who had by this time changed, and indulged in the hot
+drink recommended.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor began to be a little shaken.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, well,”</span> said he, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll send a man to each of the
+three stations within walking distance; and whether he’s
+out or in, we’ll have him by to-morrow morning. I’ve
+always taken care that he had no money in his pockets.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But what is a doctor’s care against a woman’s heart?
+For many to-morrows Clankwood had to lament the loss
+of the gifted Francis Beveridge.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0107" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc18" id="toc18"></a>
+<a name="pdf19" id="pdf19"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At sixteen minutes to five Mr Beveridge stood by the
+side of the Clankwood Avenue, comfortably wrapped
+in Dr Escort’s fur coat, and smoking with the greatest
+relish one of Dr Escott’s undeniable cigars.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was almost dark, the air bit keen, the dim park
+with its population of black trees was filled with a frosty,
+eager stillness. All round the invisible wall hemmed
+him in, the ten pounds, seventeen shillings, and sixpence
+lay useless in his pocket till that was past, and his one
+hope depended on a woman. But Mr Beveridge was an
+amateur in the sex, and he smiled complacently as he
+smoked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He had waited barely three minutes when the quick
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page57">[pg 57]</span><a name="Pg57" id="Pg57" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+clatter of a pair of horses fell on his ears, and presently
+the lights of a carriage and pair, driving swiftly away
+from Clankwood, raked the drive on either side. As
+they rattled up to him he gave a shout to the coachman
+to stop, and stepped right in front of the horses. With
+something that sounded unlike a blessing, the pair were
+thrown almost on their haunches to check them in time.
+Never stopping to explain, he threw open the door and
+sprang in; the coachman, hearing no sound of protest,
+whipped up again, and Mr Beveridge found himself
+rolling through the park of Clankwood in the Countess
+of Grillyer’s carriage with a very timid little figure by
+his side. Even in that moment of triumphant excitement
+the excellence of his manners was remarkable:
+the first thing he said was, <span class="tei tei-q">“Do you mind smoking?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In her confusion of mind Lady Alicia could only reply
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh no,”</span> and not till some time afterwards did she remember
+that the odour of a cigar was clinging and the
+Countess’s nose unusually sensitive.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After this first remark he leaned back in silence, gradually
+filling the carriage with a blue-grey cloud, and looking
+out of the windows first on one side and then on the
+other. They passed quickly through the lines of trees
+and the open spaces of frosty park-land, they drew up
+at the lodge for a moment, he heard his prison gates
+swing open, the harness jingled and the hoofs began to
+clatter again, a swift vision of lighted windows and a
+man looking on them incuriously swept by, and then they
+were rolling over a country road between hedgerows and
+under the free stars.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page58">[pg 58]</span><a name="Pg58" id="Pg58" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was the Lady Alicia who spoke first.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I never thought you would really come,”</span> she said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have been waiting for that remark,”</span> he replied,
+with his most irresistible smile; <span class="tei tei-q">“now for some more
+practical conversation.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he did not immediately begin this conversation himself,
+her curiosity overcame her, and she asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“How
+did you manage to get out?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As my friend Dr Escott offered no opposition, I
+walked away.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Did he really let you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He never even expostulated.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then—then it’s all right?”</span> she said, with
+an inexplicable sensation of disappointment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perfectly—so far.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But—didn’t they object?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not yet,”</span> he replied; <span class="tei tei-q">“objections to my movements
+are generally made after they have been performed.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Somehow she felt immensely relieved at this hint of
+opposition.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m so glad you got away,”</span> she whispered, and then
+repented in a flutter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not more so than I am,”</span> he answered, pressing her
+hand.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now,”</span> he added, <span class="tei tei-q">“I should like to know how
+near Ashditch Junction you propose to take me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where are you going to, Mr Beveridge?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The <span class="tei tei-q">“Mr Beveridge”</span> was thrown in as a corrective
+to the hand-pressure.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To London; where else, my Alicia? With £10,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page59">[pg 59]</span><a name="Pg59" id="Pg59" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+17s. 6d. in my pocket, I shall be able to eat at least three
+good dinners, and, by the third of them, if I haven’t
+fallen on my feet it will be the first time I have descended
+so unluckily.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But,”</span> she asked, considerably disconcerted, <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+thought you were going back to your parish.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a moment he too seemed a trifle put about. Then
+he replied readily, <span class="tei tei-q">“So I am, as soon as I have purchased
+the necessary outfit, restocked my ecclesiastical library,
+and called on my bishop.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She felt greatly relieved at this justification of her share
+in the adventure.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Drop me at the nearest point to the station,”</span> he
+said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am afraid,”</span> she began—<span class="tei tei-q">“I mean I think you had
+better get out soon. The first road on the right will
+take you straight there, and we had better not pass it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then I must bid you farewell,”</span> and he sighed most
+effectively. <span class="tei tei-q">“Farewell, my benefactress, my dear Alicia!
+Shall I ever see you, shall I ever hear of you again?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I might—I might just write once; if you will answer
+it: I mean if you would care to hear from such a&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She found it difficult to finish, and prudently stopped.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks,”</span> he replied cheerfully; <span class="tei tei-q">“do,—I shall live in
+hopes. I’d better stop the carriage now.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He let down the window, when she said hastily, <span class="tei tei-q">“But
+I don’t know your address.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He reflected for an instant. <span class="tei tei-q">“Care of the Archbishop
+of York will always find me,”</span> he replied; and as if unwilling
+to let his emotion be observed, he immediately
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page60">[pg 60]</span><a name="Pg60" id="Pg60" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+put his head out of the window and called on the coachman
+to stop.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good-bye,”</span> he whispered, tenderly, squeezing her
+fingers with one hand and opening the door with the
+other.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t quite forget me,”</span> she whispered back.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Never!”</span> he replied, and was in the act of getting
+out when he suddenly turned, and exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“I must
+be more out of practice than I thought; I had almost
+forgotten the protested salute.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And without further preamble the Lady Alicia found
+herself kissed at last.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He jumped out and shut the door, and the carriage
+with its faint halo clattered into the darkness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They are wonderfully alike,”</span> he reflected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">About twenty minutes later he walked leisurely into
+Ashditch Junction, and having singled out the station-master,
+he accosted him with an air of beneficient consideration
+and inquired how soon he could catch a train
+for London.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It appeared that the up express was not due for nearly
+three-quarters of an hour.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A little too long to wait,”</span> he said to himself, as he
+turned up the collar of his purloined fur coat to keep
+out the cold, and picked another cigar from its rightful
+owner’s case.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By way of further defying the temperature and cementing
+his acquaintance with the station-master, he offered
+to regale that gratified official with such refreshments as
+the station bar provided. In the consumption of whiskies-and-sodas
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page61">[pg 61]</span><a name="Pg61" id="Pg61" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+(a beverage difficult to obtain in any
+quantity at Clankwood) Mr Beveridge showed himself
+as accomplished as in every other feat. In thirty-five
+minutes he had despatched no fewer than six, besides
+completely winning the station-master’s heart. As he
+had little more than five minutes now to wait, he bade a
+genial farewell to the lady behind the bar, and started
+to purchase his ticket.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Hardly had he left the door of the refreshment-room
+when he perceived an uncomfortably familiar figure just
+arrived, breathless with running, on the opposite platform.
+The light of a lamp fell on his shining face: it
+was Moggridge!</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A stout heart might be forgiven for sinking at the sight,
+but Mr Beveridge merely turned to his now firm friends
+and said with his easiest air, <span class="tei tei-q">“On the opposite platform I
+perceive one of my runaway lunatics. Bring a couple
+of stout porters as quickly as you can, for he is a person
+of much strength and address. My name,”</span> he drew a
+card-case from the pocket of his fur coat, <span class="tei tei-q">“is, as you see,
+Dr Escott of Clankwood.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Meanwhile Moggridge, after hurriedly investigating
+the platform he was on, suddenly spied a tall fur-coated
+figure on the opposite side. Without a moment’s hesitation
+he sprang on to the rails, and had just mounted the
+other side as the station-master and two porters appeared.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Seeing his allies by his side Mr Beveridge never said a
+word, but, throwing off his hat, he lowered his head,
+charged his keeper, and picking him up by the knees
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page62">[pg 62]</span><a name="Pg62" id="Pg62" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+threw him heavily on his back. Before he had a chance
+of recovering himself the other three were seated on his
+chest employed in winding a coil of rope round and round
+his prostrate form.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Two minutes later Moggridge was sitting bound hand
+and foot in the booking office, addressing an amused audience
+in a strain of perhaps excusable exasperation,
+which however merely served to impress the Ashditch
+officials with a growing sense of their address in capturing
+so dangerous a lunatic. In the middle of this entertaining
+scene the London express steamed in, and Mr
+Beveridge, courteously thanking the station-master for
+his assistance, stepped into a first-class carriage.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should be much obliged,”</span> he said, leaning on the
+door of his compartment and blowing the smoke of Dr
+Escott’s last Havannah lightly from his lips, <span class="tei tei-q">“if you
+would be kind enough to keep that poor fellow in the
+station till to-morrow. It is rather too late to send him
+back now. Good night, and many thanks.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He pressed a coin into the station-master’s hand,
+which that
+<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E3" id="E3" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e3" class="tei tei-ref">disappointed</a></span>
+official only discovered on emptying
+his pockets at night to be an ordinary sixpence, the
+guard whistled, and one by one, smoothly and slowly
+and then in a bright stream, the station lamps slipped
+by. The last of them flitted into the night, and the
+train swung and rattled by a mile a minute nearer to
+London town and farther from the high stone wall.
+There was no other stop, and for a long hour the adventurer
+sat with his legs luxuriously stretched along the
+cushions looking out into a fainter duplicate of his carriage,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page63">[pg 63]</span><a name="Pg63" id="Pg63" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+pierced now and then by the glitter of brighter
+points as they whisked by some wayside village, or crossed
+by the black shadows of trees. The whole time he
+smiled contentedly, doubtless at the prospect of his parish
+work. All at once he seemed stirred, and, turning in
+his seat, laid his face upon the window, and pulled down
+the blind behind his head, so that he could see into the
+night. He had spied the first bright filaments of London.
+Quickly they spread into a twinkling network, and then
+as quickly were shut out by the first line of suburb houses;
+through the gaps they grew nearer and flared cheerfully;
+the train hooted over an archway, and in the road below
+he had a glimpse of shop windows and crowded pavements
+and moving omnibuses: he was in the world again,
+and at the foretaste of all this life he laughed like a delighted
+child. Last of all came the spread of shining
+rails and the red and yellow lights of many signals, and
+then the high glass roof and long lamp-lit platforms of
+St Euston’s Cross.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Unencumbered by luggage or plans, Mr Francis Beveridge
+stuck his hands deep in his pockets and strolled
+aimlessly enough out of the station into the tideway of
+the Euston Road. For a little he stood stock-still on the
+pavement watching the throng of people and the perpetual
+buses and drays and the jingling hansoms picking
+their way through it all.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“For a man of brains,”</span> he moralised, <span class="tei tei-q">“even though
+he be certified as insane, for probably the best of reasons,
+this London has surely fools enough to provide him with
+all he needs and more than he deserves. I shall set out
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page64">[pg 64]</span><a name="Pg64" id="Pg64" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+with my lantern like a second Diogenes to look for a
+foolish man.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And so he strolled along again to the first opening
+southwards. That led him through a region of dingy
+enough brick by day, but decked now with its string of
+lamps and bright shop-windows here and there, and kept
+alive by passing buses and cabs going and coming from
+the station. Farther on the street grew gloomier, and a
+dark square with a grove of trees in the middle opened
+off one side; but, rattle or quiet, flaring shops or sad-looking
+lodgings, he found it all too fresh and amusing
+to hurry.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Back to my parish again,”</span> he said to himself, smiling
+broadly at the drollery of the idea. <span class="tei tei-q">“If I’m caught
+to-morrow, I’ll at least have one merry night in my
+wicked, humorous old charge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He reached Holborn and turned west in the happiest
+and most enviable of moods; the very policemen seemed
+to cast a friendly eye on him; the frosty air, he thought,
+made the lights burn brighter and the crowd move more
+briskly than ever he had seen them. Suddenly the sight
+of a hairdresser’s saloon brought an inspiration. He
+stroked his beard, twisted his moustaches half regretfully,
+and then exclaiming, <span class="tei tei-q">“Exit Mr Beveridge,”</span> turned
+into the shop.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="page" /><div id="LL0200" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page65">[pg 65]</span><a name="Pg65" id="Pg65" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc20" id="toc20"></a>
+<a name="pdf21" id="pdf21"></a>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">PART II.</span></span>
+</h1>
+
+<div id="LL0201" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc22" id="toc22"></a>
+<a name="pdf23" id="pdf23"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron Rudolf von Blitzenberg sat by himself
+at a table in the dining-room of the Hôtel
+Mayonaise, which, as everybody knows, is the
+largest and most expensive in London. He
+was a young man of a florid and burly Teutonic type
+and the most ingenuous countenance. Being possessed
+of a curious and enterprising disposition, as well as
+the most ample means, he had left his ancestral castle in
+Bavaria to study for a few months the customs and
+politics of England. In the language he was already
+proficient, and he had promised himself an amusing as
+well as an instructive visit. But, although he had only
+arrived in London that morning, he was already beginning
+to feel an uncomfortable apprehension lest in both respects
+he should be disappointed. Though his introductions
+were the best with which the British Ambassador
+could supply him, they were only three or four in
+number,—for, not wishing to be hampered with too many
+acquaintances, he had rather chosen quality than quantity:
+and now, in the course of the afternoon, he had
+found to his chagrin that in every case the families were
+out of town. In fact, so far as he could learn, they were
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page66">[pg 66]</span><a name="Pg66" id="Pg66" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+not even at their own country seats. One was abroad,
+another gone to the seaside to recover from the mumps,
+or a third paying a round of visits.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The disappointment was sharp, he felt utterly at sea
+as to what he should do, and he was already beginning to
+experience the loneliness of a single mortal in a crowded
+hotel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As the frosty evening was setting in and the shops were
+being lit, he had strolled out into the streets in the vague
+hope of meeting some strange foreign adventure, or perhaps
+even happily lighting upon some half-forgotten
+diplomatic acquaintance. But he found the pavements
+crowded with a throng who took no notice of him at all,
+but seemed every man and most women of them to be
+pushing steadily, and generally silently, towards a million
+mysterious goals. Not that he could tell they were silent
+except by their set lips, for the noise of wheels and horses
+on so many hundreds of miles of streets, and the cries of
+busmen and vendors of evening papers, made such a
+hubbub that he felt before long in a maze. He lost his
+way four times, and was patronisingly set right by beneficent
+policemen; and at last, feeling like a man who has
+fallen off a precipice on to a soft place—none the worse
+but quite bewildered—he struggled back to his hotel.
+There he spun out his time by watching the people come
+and go, and at last dressed with extra deliberation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">About eight o’clock he sat down to his solitary dinner.
+The great gilt and panelled room was full of diners and
+bustling waiters, but there was not a face the Baron had
+ever seen before. He was just finishing a plate of whitebait
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page67">[pg 67]</span><a name="Pg67" id="Pg67" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+when he observed a stranger enter the room and
+stroll in a very self-possessed manner down the middle,
+glancing at the tables round him as though he was looking
+either for a friend or a desirable seat. This gentleman
+was tall, fair, and clean-shaved; he was dressed in a suit
+of well-fitting tweeds, and his air impressed the Baron
+as being natural and yet distinguished. At last his eye
+fell upon the Baron, who felt conscious of undergoing a
+quick, critical scrutiny. The table at which that nobleman
+sat was laid for two, and coming apparently to a
+sudden resolution, the good-looking stranger seated himself
+in the vacant chair. In an agreeable voice and with
+an unmistakably well-bred air he asked a waiter for the
+wine-list, and then, like a man with an excellent appetite,
+fell to upon the various <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">hors
+d’œuvres</span></span>, the entire collection
+of which, in fact, he consumed in a wonderfully
+short space of time. The Baron, being himself no trifler
+with his victuals, regarded this feat with sympathetic
+approval, and began to feel a little less alone in the world.
+His naturally open disposition was warmed besides,
+owing to a slight misconception he had fallen into, perfectly
+excusable however in a foreigner. He thought he
+had read somewhere that port was the usual accompaniment
+to the first courses of an English dinner, and as
+his waiter had been somewhat dilatory in bringing him
+the more substantial items of the repast, he had already
+drunk three claret-glasses of this cheering wine. The
+chill recollections of his sixteen quarterings and the
+exclusiveness he had determined to maintain as becoming
+to his rank were already melting, and he met the stranger’s
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page68">[pg 68]</span><a name="Pg68" id="Pg68" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+eye with what for the life of him he could not help being a
+cordial look.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">vis-à-vis</span></span> caught
+the glance, smiled back, and immediately
+asked, with the most charming politeness,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Do you care, sir, to split a bottle of champagne?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To—er—<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">shplid?</span></span>”</span> said the Baron,
+with a disappointed consciousness of having been put at a loss
+in his English by the very first man who had spoken to him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon,—I am afraid I was unintelligibly
+idiomatic. To divide, I should say, you consuming
+one-half, I the other. Am I clear, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a moment the Baron was a little taken aback, and
+then recollecting that the dining habits of the English
+were still new to him, he concluded that the suggestion
+was probably a customary act of courtesy. He had
+already come to the conclusion that the gentleman must
+be a person of rank, and he replied affably, <span class="tei tei-q">“Yah—zat
+is, vid pleasure. Zanks, very.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The pleasure is mine,”</span> said the stranger—<span class="tei tei-q">“and half
+the bottle,”</span> he added, smiling.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron, whose perception of humour had been
+abnormally increased by this time, laughed hilariously
+at the infection of his new acquaintance’s smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot, goot!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, yah, zo.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Am I right, sir, in supposing that, despite the perfection
+of your English accent, I cannot be fortunate
+enough to claim you as a countryman?”</span> asked the
+stranger.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron’s resolutions of reticence had vanished
+altogether before such unexpected and (he could not
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page69">[pg 69]</span><a name="Pg69" id="Pg69" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+but think) un-English friendliness. He unburdened his
+heart with a rush.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have ze right. I am Deutsch. I have gom to
+England zis day for to lairn and to amuse myself. But
+mein, vat you call?—introdogtions zey are not inside,
+zat is zey are from off. Not von, all, every single gone
+to ze gontry or to abroad. I am alone, I eat my dinner
+in zolitude, I am pleased to meet you, sare.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A cork popped and the champagne frothed into the
+stranger’s glass. Raising it to his lips, he
+said, <span class="tei tei-q">“Prosit!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Prosit!”</span> responded the Baron, enthusiastically. <span class="tei tei-q">“You
+know ze Deutsch, sare?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am safer in English, I confess.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, das ist goot, I vant for to practeese. Ve vill
+talk English.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With all my heart,”</span> said the stranger. <span class="tei tei-q">“I, too, am
+alone, and I hold myself more than fortunate in making
+your acquaintance. It’s a devilish dull world when one
+can’t share a bottle—or a brace of them, for the matter
+of that.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You know London?”</span> asked the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom,
+as I say, to-day.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With pleasure,”</span> said the stranger, readily. <span class="tei tei-q">“In fact,
+if you are ever disengaged I may possibly be able to act as
+showman.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Showman!”</span> roared the Baron, thinking he had discovered
+a jest. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha! Goot, zehr goot!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The other looked a trifle astonished for an instant,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page70">[pg 70]</span><a name="Pg70" id="Pg70" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+and then as he sipped his champagne an expression of
+intense satisfaction came over his face.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I can put away my lantern,”</span> he said to himself,—<span class="tei tei-q">“I
+have found him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“May I have the boldness to ask your name, sir?”</span> he
+asked aloud.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,”</span> that nobleman
+replied. <span class="tei tei-q">“Yours, sare—may I dare?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Francis Bunker, at your service, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are noble?”</span> queried the Baron a little anxiously,
+for his prejudices on this point were strong.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“According to your standard I believe I may say so.
+That’s to say, my family have borne arms for two hundred
+odd generations; twenty-five per cent of them have died
+of good living; and the most malicious have never accused
+us of brains. I myself may not be very typical,
+but I assure you it isn’t my ancestors’ fault.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The latter part of this explanation entirely puzzled
+the Baron. The first statement, though eminently satisfactory,
+was also a little bewildering.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Two hondred generations?”</span> he asked, courteously.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Zat is a vary old family. All bore arms you say, Mistair
+Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, gravely. <span class="tei tei-q">“The first few
+bore tails as well.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> laughed the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“You are a fonny
+man I pairceive, vat you call clown, yes?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What my friends call clown, and I call wit,”</span> Mr
+Bunker corrected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vit! Ha, ha, ha!”</span> roared the Baron, whose mind
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page71">[pg 71]</span><a name="Pg71" id="Pg71" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+was now in an El Dorado of humour when jokes grew
+like daisies. His loneliness had disappeared as if by
+magic; as course succeeded course his contentment showed
+itself in a perpetually beaming smile: he ceased to worry
+even about his friend’s pedigree, convinced in his mind
+that manners so delightful and distinguished could only
+result from repeated quarterings and unoccupied forefathers.
+Yet by the time dessert arrived and he had
+again returned to his port, he began to feel an extreme
+curiosity to know more concerning Mr Bunker. He
+himself had volunteered a large quantity of miscellaneous
+information: about Bavaria, its customs and its people,
+more especially the habits and history of the Blitzenberg
+family; about himself, his parentage and education; all
+about his family ghost, his official position as hereditary
+carpet-beater to the Bavarian Court, and many other
+things equally entertaining and instructive. Mr Bunker,
+for his part, had so far confined his confidences to his
+name.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Bonker,”</span> said the Baron at last—he had
+become quite familiar by this time—<span class="tei tei-q">“vat make you in
+London? I fear you are bird of passage. Do you stay
+long?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker cracked a nut, looking very serious; then
+he leant on one elbow, glanced up at the ceiling pensively,
+and sighed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I hope I do not ask vat I should not,”</span> the Baron
+interposed, courteously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, ask what you like,”</span> replied Mr
+Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“In a city full of strangers, or of friends who
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page72">[pg 72]</span><a name="Pg72" id="Pg72" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+have forgotten me, you alone have my confidence. My
+story is a common one of youthful folly and present
+repentance, but such as it is, you are welcome to it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron gulped down half a glass of port and leaned
+forward sympathetically.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My father,”</span> Mr Bunker continued with an air of
+half-sad reminiscence, <span class="tei tei-q">“is one of the largest landowners
+and the head of one of the most ancient families in the
+north of England. I was his eldest son and heir. I am
+still, I have every reason to believe, his eldest son, but
+my heirship, I regret to say, is more doubtful. I spent
+a prodigal youth and a larger sum of money than my
+poor father approved of. He was a strict though a kind
+parent, and for the good of my health and the replenishment
+of the family coffers, which had been sadly drained
+by my extravagance, he sent me abroad. There I have
+led a roving life for the last six years, and at last, my wild
+oats sown, reaped, and gathered in (and a well-filled stackyard
+they made, I can assure you), I decided to return to
+England and become an ornament to respectable society.
+Like you, I arrived in London to-day, but only to find
+to my disgust that my family have gone to winter in
+Egypt. So you see that at present I am like a shipwrecked
+sailor clinging to a rock and waiting, with what
+patience I can muster, for a boat to take me off.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You mean,”</span> inquired the Baron, anxiously, <span class="tei tei-q">“that
+you vish to go to Egypt at vonce?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I had thought of it; though there is a difficulty in the
+way, I admit.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You vill not stay zen here?”</span>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page73">[pg 73]</span><a name="Pg73" id="Pg73" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, why should I? I have neither
+friends nor&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stopped abruptly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I do not like to zink I shall lose your company so
+soon.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I admit,”</span> allowed Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“that this fortunate
+meeting tempts me to stay.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vy not?”</span> said the Baron, cordially. <span class="tei tei-q">“Can your
+fader not vait to see you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I hardly think he will worry about me, I confess.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zen stay, my goot Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Unfortunately there is the same difficulty as stands
+in the way of my going to Egypt.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And may I inquire vat zat is?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To tell you the truth,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, with an
+air of reluctant candour, <span class="tei tei-q">“my funds are rather low. I
+had trusted to finding my father at home, but as he
+isn’t, why&mdash;&mdash;”</span> he shrugged his shoulders and threw
+himself back in his chair.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron seemed struck with an idea which he hesitated
+to express.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Shall we smoke?”</span> his friend suggested.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vaiter!”</span> cried the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“bring here two best cigars
+and two coffee!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A liqueur, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, yah. Vat for you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A liqueur brandy suggests itself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vaiter! and two brandy.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now,”</span> said the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“I haf an idea, Bonker.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0202" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page74">[pg 74]</span><a name="Pg74" id="Pg74" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc24" id="toc24"></a>
+<a name="pdf25" id="pdf25"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, as I have said,
+had a warm heart. He was, besides, alone in one hundred
+and twenty square miles of strangers and foreigners
+when he had happened upon this congenial spirit. He
+began in a tone of the most ingenuous friendliness—</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I haf no friends here. My introdogtions zey are
+gone. Bot I haf moch money, and I vish a, vat you
+say?—showman, ha, ha, ha! You haf too leetle money
+and no friends and you can show. You show and I
+will loan you vat you vish. May I dare to suggest?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My goot Bonker! I am in airnest, I assure. Vy not?
+It is vun gentleman and anozzer.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are far too kind.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is to myself I am kind, zen. I vant a guide, a
+frient. It is a loan. Do not scruple. Ven your fader
+goms you can pay if you please. It is nozing to me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, my dear Baron,”</span> said Mr Bunker, like a man
+persuaded against his will, <span class="tei tei-q">“what can I say? I confess
+I might find a little difficulty in replenishing my purse
+without resorting to disagreeable means, and if you really
+wish my society, why&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zen it is a bairgain?”</span> cried the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you insist&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I insist. Vaiter! Alzo two ozzer liqueur. Ve most
+drink to ze bairgain, Bonker.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They pledged each other cordially, and talked from
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page75">[pg 75]</span><a name="Pg75" id="Pg75" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+that moment like old friends. The Baron was thoroughly
+pleased with himself, and Mr Bunker seemed
+no less gratified at his own good fortune. Half an hour
+went quickly by, and then the Baron exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Let us
+do zomzing to-night, Bonker. I burn for to begin zis
+show of London.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What would you care to do, Baron? It is rather
+late, I am afraid, to think of a theatre. What do you say
+to a music-hall?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Music-hall? I haf seen zem at home. Damned
+amusing, das ist ze expression, yes?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is a perfect description.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot,”</span> continued the Baron, solemnly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I must not
+begin vid ze vickedest.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And yet,”</span> replied his friend, persuasively, <span class="tei tei-q">“even
+wickedness needs a beginning.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot, if I begin I may not stop. Zomzing more qviet
+ze first night. Haf you a club?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker pondered for a moment, and a curious
+smile stole across his face. Then it vanished, and he
+answered readily, <span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly, Baron, an excellent idea.
+I haven’t been to my club for so long that it never struck
+me. Let us come.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot!”</span> cried the Baron, rising with alacrity.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They put on their coats (Mr Bunker’s, it may be remarked,
+being a handsome fur-lined garment), the porter
+hailed a cab, and the driver was ordered to take them
+to the Regent’s Club in Pall Mall. The Baron knew it
+by reputation as the most exclusive in London, and his
+opinion of his friend rose still higher.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page76">[pg 76]</span><a name="Pg76" id="Pg76" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They joined a jingling string of other hansoms and
+sped swiftly through the exhilarating bustle of the streets.
+To the Baron it seemed as if a great change had come
+over the city since he wandered disconsolately before
+dinner. Carried swiftly to the music of the little bells
+through the sharp air and the London night that is brighter
+than day, with a friend by his side and a good dinner
+within, he marked the most astonishing difference. All
+the people seemed to talk and laugh, and for his own
+part he found it hard to keep his tongue still.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I know ze name of ze Regent’s,”</span> he said; <span class="tei tei-q">“vun club
+of ze best, is it not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The very best club, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zey are all noble?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In many cases the receipts for their escutcheons are
+still in their pockets.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Though the precise significance of this explanation
+was not quite clear to the Baron, it sounded eminently
+satisfactory.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zo?”</span> he said. <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall be moch interested to see
+zem.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they entered the club the porter stared at them
+curiously, and even made a movement as though he
+would step out and address them; but Mr Bunker, wishing
+him a courteous good evening, walked briskly up to
+the hat-and-cloak racks in the hall. A young man had
+just hung up his hat, and as he was divesting himself of
+his coat, Mr Bunker quickly took the hat down, glanced
+at the name inside, and replaced it on its peg. Then he
+held out his hand and addressed the young man cordially.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page77">[pg 77]</span><a name="Pg77" id="Pg77" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good evening, Transome, how are you?”</span> said he,
+and, heedless of the look of surprise on the other’s face,
+he turned towards the Baron and added, <span class="tei tei-q">“Let me introduce
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg—Mr Transome.
+The Baron has just come to England, and I
+thought he couldn’t begin better than by a visit to the
+Regent’s. Let us come into the smoking-room.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In a few minutes they were all on the best of terms.
+A certain perplexity, and almost shyness, that the young
+man showed at first, vanished rapidly before the Baron’s
+cordiality and Mr Bunker’s well-bred charm of manner.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They were deeply engrossed in a discussion on the
+reigning sovereign of the Baron’s native land, a monarch
+of whose enlightened policy that nobleman spoke with
+pardonable pride, when two elderly gentlemen entered
+the room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who are these?”</span> Mr Bunker whispered to Transome.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I know them very well, but I am always bad at names.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Lord Fabrigas and General M’Dermott,”</span> replied
+Transome.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Instantly Mr Bunker rose and greeted the new-comers.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good evening, Lord Fabrigas; good evening, General.
+You have just come in time to be introduced to the Baron
+Rudolph von Blitzenberg, whom you doubtless know
+by reputation.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron rose and bowed, and it struck him that
+elderly English gentlemen were singularly stiff and constrained
+in their manner. Mr Bunker, however, continued
+cheerfully, <span class="tei tei-q">“We are just going to have a smoking
+concert. Will you begin, Baron?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page78">[pg 78]</span><a name="Pg78" id="Pg78" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I know not English songs,”</span> replied the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“bot
+I should like moch to hear.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must join in the chorus, then.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly, Bonker. I haf a voice zat is considered—vat
+you call—deafening, yes?—in ze chorus.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker cleared his throat, and, just as the General
+was on the point of interposing a remark, struck up
+hastily; and for the first time in its long and honourable
+history the smoking-room of the Regent’s Club reechoed
+to a popular music-hall ditty.</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-lg" style="margin-bottom: 1.80em; margin-left: 3.60em; margin-top: 1.80em; margin-right: 3.60em">
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">“</span><span style="font-size: 90%">They sometimes call ’em duckies,
+  they sometimes call ’em pets,</span></span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span style="font-size: 90%">And sometimes they refer to
+  ’em as dears</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">They live on little matters that a gentleman forgets,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span style="font-size: 90%">In a little world of giggles and
+  of tears;</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">There are different varieties from which a man may choose,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span style="font-size: 90%">There are sorts and shapes and
+  sizes without end,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">But the kind I’d pick myself is the kind you introduce</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">By the simple
+  title of </span><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">‘</span><span style="font-size: 90%">my lady friend.</span><span style="font-size: 90%">’</span></span><span style="font-size: 90%"> ”</span></span></div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Chorus, Baron!”</span> And then he trolled in waltz time
+this edifying refrain—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-lg" style="margin-bottom: 1.80em; margin-left: 3.60em; margin-top: 1.80em; margin-right: 3.60em">
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">“</span><span style="font-size: 90%">My lady friend, my lady friend!</span></span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 5.40em"><span style="font-size: 90%">Can’t you twig, dear boys,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 3.60em"><span style="font-size: 90%">From the sound of the kisses</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span style="font-size: 90%">She isn’t my misses,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">She’s only my lady friend!</span><span style="font-size: 90%">”</span></span></div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In a voice like a train going over a bridge the Baron
+chimed in—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-lg" style="margin-bottom: 1.80em; margin-left: 3.60em; margin-top: 1.80em; margin-right: 3.60em">
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">“</span><span style="font-size: 90%">My laty vrient, my laty vrient!</span></span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 5.40em"><span style="font-size: 90%">Cannot you tvig, mine boy,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 3.60em"><span style="font-size: 90%">Vrom ze sound of ze kiss,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left; margin-left: 1.80em"><span style="font-size: 90%">He is not my miss,</span></div>
+  <div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">He is only mine laty vrient!</span><span style="font-size: 90%">”</span></span></div>
+</div>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page79">[pg 79]</span><a name="Pg79" id="Pg79" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am afraid,”</span> said Mr Bunker, as they finished the
+chorus, <span class="tei tei-q">“that I can’t remember any more. Now, General,
+it’s your turn.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sir,”</span> replied that gallant officer, who had listened
+to this ditty in purple and petrified astonishment, <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+don’t know who the devil you are, but I can tell you, you
+won’t remain a member of this club much longer if you
+come into it again in this state.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I had forgotten,”</span> said Mr Bunker, with even more
+than his usual politeness, <span class="tei tei-q">“that such an admirable music-hall
+critic was listening to me. I must apologise for my
+poor effort.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Wishing him courteously good-night, he took the Baron
+by the arm and walked out. While that somewhat perplexed
+nobleman was struggling into his coat, his friend
+rapidly and dexterously converted all the silk hats he
+could see into the condition of collapsed opera hats,
+and then picked a small hand-bag off the floor. The
+Baron walked out through the door first, but Mr Bunker
+stopped for an instant opposite the hall-porter’s box,
+and crying, <span class="tei tei-q">“Good night to you, sir!”</span> hurled the bag
+through the glass, rushed after his friend, and in less
+time than it takes to tell they were tearing up Pall Mall
+in a hansom.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a few minutes both were silent; then the Baron
+said slowly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I do not qvite onderstand.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron,”</span> his friend explained gaily, <span class="tei tei-q">“these
+practical jokes are very common in our clubs. They
+are quite part of our national life, you know, and I
+thought you ought to see everything.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page80">[pg 80]</span><a name="Pg80" id="Pg80" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron said nothing, but he began to realise that
+he was indeed in a foreign country.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0203" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc26" id="toc26"></a>
+<a name="pdf27" id="pdf27"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vell, Bonker, vat show to-day?”</span> said the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker sipped his coffee and smiled back at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What would you like?”</span> said he.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They were sitting in the Baron’s private room finishing
+one of the renowned Hôtel Mayonaise breakfasts. Out
+of the windows they could see the bright curving river,
+the bare tops of the Embankment trees, a file of barges
+drifting with the tide, and cold-looking clouds hurrying
+over the chaos of brick on the opposite shore. It was a
+bright breezy morning, and the Baron felt in high good-humour
+with his surroundings. On maturer consideration,
+the entertaining experience of the night before had
+greatly raised Mr Bunker in his estimation. He had
+chuckled his way through a substantial breakfast, and in
+such good company felt ready for any adventure that
+might turn up.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He lit a cigar, pushed back his chair, and replied
+blandly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am in your hands. I am ready to enjoy
+anyzing.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you wish instruction or entertainment?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mix zem, Bonker. Entertain by instrogtion; instrogt
+by entertaining.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are epigrammatic, Baron, but devilish vague. I
+presume, however, that you wish entertaining experience
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page81">[pg 81]</span><a name="Pg81" id="Pg81" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+from which a man of your philosophical temperament
+can draw a moral—afterwards.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha!”</span> laughed the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Excellent! You provide
+ze experiences—I draw ze moral.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And we share the entertainment. The theory is
+perfect, but I’m afraid we need a programme. Now, on
+my own first visit to London I remember being taken—by
+the hand—to Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks, the Tower,
+St Paul’s Cathedral, the fishmarket at Billingsgate, the
+British Museum, and a number of other damnably edifying
+spectacles. You might naturally suppose that after
+such a round it would be quite superfluous for me ever to
+come up to town again. Yet, surprising as it may appear,
+most of the knowledge of London I hope to put at
+your disposal has been gained in the course of subsequent
+visits.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot zese places—Tousaud, Tower,
+Paul’s—are zey not instrogtif?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you wish to learn that a great number of years
+ago a vast quantity of inconsequent events occurred, or
+that in an otherwise amusing enough world there are
+here and there collected so many roomfuls of cheerless
+articles, I can strongly recommend a visit to the Tower of
+London or the British Museum.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In mine own gontry,”</span> said the Baron, thoughtfully,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I can lairn zo moch.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then, my dear Baron, while you are here forget it
+all.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And yet,”</span> said the Baron, still thoughtfully, <span class="tei tei-q">“somzing
+I should lairn here.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page82">[pg 82]</span><a name="Pg82" id="Pg82" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly; you will learn something of what goes on
+underneath a waistcoat and a little of the contents of a
+corset and petticoat. Also of the strange customs of this
+city and the excellence of British institutions.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> laughed the Baron, who thought that if
+his friend had not actually made a jest, it was at least
+time for one to occur. <span class="tei tei-q">“I see, I see. I draw ze moral,
+ha, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This morning,”</span> Mr Bunker continued, reflectively,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“we might—let me see—well, we might do a little
+shopping. To tell you the truth, Baron, my South African
+experiences have somewhat exhausted my wardrobe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, zo. Cairtainly ve vill shop. Bot, Bonker,
+Soud Africa? Vas it not Soud America?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Did I say Africa? America of course I meant.
+Well, let us shop if you have no objections: then we might
+have a little lunch, and afterwards visit the Park. For
+the evening, what do you say to a theatre?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot!”</span> cried the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Make it tzos.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker’s shopping turned out to be a pretty extensive
+operation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Loan vat you please of money,”</span> said his friend. <span class="tei tei-q">“A
+gentleman should be dressed in agreement.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With now and then an apology for his extravagance,
+he took full advantage of the Baron’s generosity, and
+ordered such an assortment of garments that his tailor
+could hardly bow low enough to express his gratification.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After an excellent lunch in the most expensive restaurant
+to be found, they walked arm-in-arm westwards along
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page83">[pg 83]</span><a name="Pg83" id="Pg83" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+Piccadilly, Mr Bunker pointing out the various objects
+of historical or ephemeral interest to be seen in that
+thoroughfare, the Baron drinking in this information
+with the serious air of the distinguished traveller.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now we come to the Park,”</span> said Mr Bunker.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Guard your heart, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> replied the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Zo instrogtion is
+feenished, and now goms entertainment, ha?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With the moral always running through it, remember.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall not forget.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The sunshine had brought out a great many carriages
+and a sprinkling of walkers along the railings. The two
+friends strolled among them, eyeing the women and
+stopping now and then to look back at a carriage.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I suppose,”</span> said the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“zat vile you haf been
+avay your frients have forgot you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he spoke a young man looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and even made a movement as though he would stop
+and speak to him. Mr Bunker looked blandly through
+him and walked on.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you not know zat gentleman?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Which gentleman?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze young man zat looked so at you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Some young men have a way of staring here, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A few minutes later a lady in a passing carriage looked
+round sharply at them with an air of great surprise, and
+half bowed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Surely,”</span> exclaimed the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“zat vas a frient of
+yours!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am not a friend of hers, then,”</span> Mr Bunker replied
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page84">[pg 84]</span><a name="Pg84" id="Pg84" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+with a laugh. <span class="tei tei-q">“Her bow I think must have been aimed
+at you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron shook his head, and seemed to be drawing
+a moral.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Baron,”</span> his friend exclaimed, suddenly, <span class="tei tei-q">“let us go
+back; here comes one of our most popular phenomena,
+a London fog. We need not stay in the Park to observe
+it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The sun was already obscured; there stole a most
+insidious chill through the air; like the changing of a
+scene on the stage they found themselves in a few minutes
+walking in a little ring of trees and road and iron railings
+instead of a wide sunny park; the roar of the streets came
+from behind a wall of mist that opened mysteriously to let
+a phantom carriage in and out, and closed silently behind
+it again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I like not zis,”</span> said the Baron, with a shiver.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By the time they had found Piccadilly again there was
+nothing at all to be seen but the light of the nearest lamp,
+as large and far away as a struggling sun, and the shadowy
+people who flitted by.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Their talk ceased. The Baron turned up his collar
+and sucked his cigar lugubriously, and Mr Bunker
+seemed unusually thoughtful. They had walked nearly
+as far as Piccadilly Circus when they were pulled up by a
+cab turning down a side-street. There was a lamp-post
+at the corner, and under it stood a burly man, his red
+face quite visible as they came up to his shoulder.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In an instant Mr Bunker seized the Baron by the arm,
+pulled him round, and began to walk hastily back again.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page85">[pg 85]</span><a name="Pg85" id="Pg85" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat for zis?”</span> said the Baron, in great astonishment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We have come too far, thanks to this infernal fog.
+We must cross the street and take the first turning on the
+other side. I must apologise, Baron, for my absence of
+mind.”</span></p>
+
+<div class="tei tei-tb">* * * * * </div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The cab passed by and the red-faced man strolled on.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Like lookin’ for a needle in a bloomin’
+haystack,”</span> he said to himself. <span class="tei tei-q">“I might as well go back
+to Clankwood. ’E’s a good riddance, I say.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0204" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc28" id="toc28"></a>
+<a name="pdf29" id="pdf29"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed their dinner
+with the relish of approving connoisseurs. Mr Bunker
+commended the hock, and suggested a second bottle;
+the Baron praised the <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">entrées</span></span>, and insisted on another
+helping. The frequent laughter arising from their table
+excited general remark throughout the room, and already
+the waiters were whispering to the other guests that this
+was a German nobleman of royal blood engaged in a
+diplomatic mission of importance, and his friend a ducal
+member of the English Cabinet, at present, for reasons
+of state, incognito.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker!”</span> exclaimed the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am in zat frame
+of head I vant a romance, an adventure”</span> (lowering his
+voice a little), <span class="tei tei-q">“mit a beautiful lady, Bonker.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It must be a romance, Baron?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page86">[pg 86]</span><a name="Pg86" id="Pg86" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A novel, a story to tell to mine frients. In a strange
+city man expects strange zings.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I’ll do my best for you, but I confess the provision
+of romantic adventures is a little outside the programme
+we’ve arranged.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha! Ve shall see, ve shall see, Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They arrived at the Corinthian Theatre about the
+middle of the first act, for, as Mr Bunker explained, it
+is always well to produce a good first impression, and
+few more effective means can be devised than working
+one’s way to the middle of a line of stalls with the play
+already in progress.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Hardly were they seated when the Baron drove his
+elbow into his friend’s ribs (draped for the night, it may
+be remarked, with one of the Baron’s spare dress-coats)
+and exclaimed in an excited whisper, <span class="tei tei-q">“Next to you,
+Bonker! Ach, zehr hüpsch!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Even before this hint Mr Bunker had observed that
+the lady on the other side of him was possessed of exceptional
+attractions. For a little time he studied her
+out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed that the stall
+on the farther side of her was empty, that she once or
+twice looked round as though she expected somebody,
+and that she seemed not altogether unconscious of her
+new neighbours. He further observed that her face
+was of a type that is more usually engaged in attack than
+defence.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Then he whispered, <span class="tei tei-q">“Would you like to know her?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, yah!”</span> replied the Baron, eagerly. <span class="tei tei-q">“Bot—can
+you?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page87">[pg 87]</span><a name="Pg87" id="Pg87" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker smiled confidently. A few minutes later
+he happened to let his programme fall into her lap.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon,”</span> he whispered, softly, and glanced
+into her eyes with a smile ready.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His usual discernment had not failed him. She
+smiled, and instantly he produced his.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A little later her opera-glasses happened to slip from
+her hand, and though they only slipped slowly, it was no
+doubt owing to his ready presence of mind that their fall
+was averted.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This time their fingers happened to touch, and they
+smiled without an apology.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He leant towards her, looking, however, at the play.
+They shared a laugh over a joke that she might have
+been excused for not understanding; presently a criticism
+of some situation escaped him inadvertently, and she
+smiled again; soon after she gave an exclamation and he
+answered sympathetically, and at the end of the act the
+curtain came down on an acquaintance already begun.
+As the lights were turned up, and here and there men
+began to go out, she again looked at the entrances in
+some apparent concern, either lest some one should not
+come in or lest some one should.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He is late,”</span> said Mr Bunker, smiling.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She gave a very enticing look of surprise, and consented
+to smile back before she coyly looked away again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“An erring husband, I presume.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She admitted that it was in fact a husband who had
+failed her.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But,”</span> she added, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’m
+afraid—I mean I expect he’ll
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page88">[pg 88]</span><a name="Pg88" id="Pg88" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+come in after the next act. It’s so tiresome of him to
+disappoint me like this.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker expressed the deepest sympathy with her
+unfortunate predicament.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He has his ticket, of course?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But it seemed that she had both the tickets with her,
+an arrangement which he immediately denounced as
+likely to lead to difficulties when her husband arrived.
+He further, in the most obliging manner, suggested that
+he should take the ticket for the other seat to the booking
+office and leave instructions for its being given to the
+gentleman on his arrival. The lady gave him a curious
+little glance that seemed to imply a mixture of doubt as
+to his motives with confidence in his abilities, and then
+with many thanks agreed to his suggestion. Mr Bunker
+took the ticket and rose at once.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That I may be sure you are in good company while I
+am away,”</span> said he, <span class="tei tei-q">“permit me to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And the Baron promptly took his vacant seat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">On his return Mr Bunker found his friend wreathed
+in smiles and engaged in the most animated conversation
+with the lady, and before the last act was over, he gathered
+from such scraps of conversation as reached his ears that
+Rudolph von Blitzenberg had little to learn in one department
+of a nobleman’s duties.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder where my husband can be,”</span> the lady
+whispered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, heed him not, fair lady,”</span> replied the Baron.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Am I not instead of a hosband?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page89">[pg 89]</span><a name="Pg89" id="Pg89" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m afraid you’re a very naughty man, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ven I am viz you,”</span> the gallant Baron answered, <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+forget myself all bot your charms.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">These advances being made in the most dulcet tones
+of which the nobleman was master, and accompanied
+by the most enamoured expression, it is not surprising
+that the lady permitted herself to listen to them with
+perhaps too ready an ear. What Mr Bunker’s arrangement
+with the booking clerk had been was never quite
+clear, but certainly the erring husband failed to make
+his appearance at all, and at the last fall of the curtain
+she was easily persuaded to let the Baron escort her home.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I know I ought not, but if a husband deserts one so
+faithlessly, what can I do?”</span> she said, with a very becoming
+little shrug of her shoulders and a captivating lift
+of her eyebrows.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, vat indeed? He desairves not so fair a consort.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But won’t it be troubling you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Trouble? Pleasure and captivation!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Excuse me, Baron,”</span> said the voice of Mr Bunker at
+his elbow; <span class="tei tei-q">“if you will wait here at the door I shall send
+up a cab.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot!”</span> cried the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“a zouzand zanks!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I myself,”</span> added Mr Bunker, with a profound bow
+to the lady, <span class="tei tei-q">“shall say good night now. The best of
+luck, Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In a few minutes a hansom drove up, and the Baron,
+springing in beside his charge, told the man to drive to
+602 Eaton Square.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not too qvickly!”</span> he added, in a stage aside.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page90">[pg 90]</span><a name="Pg90" id="Pg90" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They reached Trafalgar Square, matters inside going
+harmoniously as a marriage bell,—almost, in fact, too
+much suggesting that simile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why are we going down Whitehall?”</span> the lady exclaimed,
+suddenly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I know not,”</span> replied the Baron, placidly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ask him where he is going!”</span> she said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron, as in duty bound, asked, and the reassuring
+reply, <span class="tei tei-q">“All right, sir,”</span> came back through the hole in the
+roof.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I seem to know that man’s voice,”</span> the lady said.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“He must have driven me before.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To me all ze English speak ze same,”</span> replied the
+Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“All bot you, my fairest, viz your sound like
+a—vat you call?—fiddle, is it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Though his charmer had serious misgivings regarding
+their cabman’s topographical knowledge, the Baron’s
+company proved so absorbing that it was not till they
+were being rapidly driven over Vauxhall Bridge that she
+at last took alarm. At first the Baron strove to soothe
+her by the most approved Teutonic blandishments, but
+in time he too began to feel concerned, and in a voice
+like thunder he repeatedly called upon the driver to stop.
+No reply was vouchsafed, and the pace merely grew the
+more reckless.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can’t you catch the reins?”</span> cried the lady, who had
+got into a terrible fright.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron twice essayed the feat, but each time a
+heavy blow over the knuckles from the butt-end of the
+whip forced him to desist. The lady burst into tears.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page91">[pg 91]</span><a name="Pg91" id="Pg91" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+The Baron swore in five languages alternately, and still
+the cab pursued its headlong career through deserted
+midnight streets, past infrequent policemen and stray
+belated revellers, on into an unknown wilderness of
+brick.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, don’t let him murder me!”</span> sobbed the lady.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Haf cheer, fairest; he shall not vile I am viz you! Gott
+in himmel, ze rascal! Parbleu und blood! Goddam!
+Vait till I catch him, hell and blitzen! Haf courage,
+dear!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh dear, oh dear!”</span> wailed the lady. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+shall <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">never</span></span>
+do it again!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They must have covered miles, and still the speed
+never abated, when suddenly, as they were rounding a
+sharp corner, the horse slipped on the frost-bound road,
+and in the twinkling of an eye the Baron and the lady
+were sitting on opposite sides of their fallen steed, and
+the cabman was rubbing his head some yards in front.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Teufel!”</span> exclaimed the Baron, rising carefully to
+his feet. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, mine dearest vun, art thou hurt?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The lady was silent for a moment, as though trying
+to decide, and then she burst into hysterical laughter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, zo,”</span> said the Baron, much relieved, <span class="tei tei-q">“zen vill I
+see ze cabman.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That individual was still rubbing his head with a rueful
+air, and the Baron was about to pour forth all his bottled-up
+indignation, when at the sight of the driver’s face he
+started back in blank astonishment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is I indeed, my dear Baron,”</span> replied that gentleman,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page92">[pg 92]</span><a name="Pg92" id="Pg92" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+politely. <span class="tei tei-q">“I must ask a thousand pardons for
+causing you this trifling inconvenience. As to your
+friend, I don’t know how I am to make my peace with
+her.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot—bot vat means zis?”</span> gasped the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I was merely endeavouring to provide the spice of
+romance you required, besides giving you the opportunity
+of making the lady’s better acquaintance. Can I do
+anything more for you, Baron? And you, my dear
+lady, can I assist you in any way?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Both, speaking at once and with some heat, gave a
+decidedly affirmative answer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where are we?”</span> asked the lady, who hovered between
+fright and indignation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker shrugged his shoulders.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It would be rash to hazard an opinion,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well!”</span> cried the lady, her indignation quite overcoming
+her fright. <span class="tei tei-q">“Do you mean to say you’ve brought
+us here against our wills and probably got me
+into <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">dreadful</span></span>
+trouble, and you don’t even know where we are?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker looked up at the heavens with a studious
+air.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“One <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">ought</span></span> to be
+able to tell something of our whereabouts
+from one of those stars,”</span> he replied; <span class="tei tei-q">“but, to tell
+the truth, I don’t quite know which. In short, madame,
+it is not from want of goodwill, but merely through
+ignorance, that I cannot direct you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The lady turned impatiently to the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">You’ve</span></span> helped
+to get me into this mess,”</span> she said,
+tartly. <span class="tei tei-q">“What do you propose to do?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page93">[pg 93]</span><a name="Pg93" id="Pg93" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My fairest&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t!”</span> she interrupted, stamping her foot on the
+frosty road, and then inconsequently burst into tears.
+The Baron and Mr Bunker looked at one another.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is a fine night for a walk, and the cab, I’m afraid,
+is smashed beyond hope of redemption. Give the lady
+your arm, Baron; we must eventually arrive somewhere.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was really nothing else for it, so leaving the horse
+and cab to be recovered by the first policeman who chanced
+to pass, they set out on foot. At last, after half an hour’s
+ramble through the solitudes of South London, a belated
+cab was hailed and all three got inside. Once on her
+way home, the lady’s indignation again gave way to
+fright.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">am</span></span> I to do?
+What <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">am</span></span> I to do?”</span> she wailed.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, whatever will my husband say?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In his most confident and irresistible manner Mr
+Bunker told her he would make matters all right for her
+at whatever cost to himself; and so infectious was his
+assurance, that, when at last they reached Eaton Square,
+she allowed him to come up to the door of number 602.
+The Baron prudently remained in the cab, for, as he explained,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“My English, he is unsafe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After a prolonged knocking and ringing the door at
+length opened, and an irascible-looking, middle-aged
+gentleman appeared, arrayed in a dressing-gown.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Louisa!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“What the dev—where on earth
+have you been? The police are looking for you all over
+London. And may I venture to ask who this is with
+you?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page94">[pg 94]</span><a name="Pg94" id="Pg94" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker bowed slightly and raised his hat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear sir,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“we found this lady in a
+lamentable state of intoxication in the Tottenham Court
+Road, and as I understand you have a kind of reversionary
+interest in her, we have brought her here. As for
+you, sir, your appearance is so unprepossessing that I
+am unable to remain any longer. Good night,”</span> and
+raising his hat again he entered the cab and drove off,
+assuring the Baron that matters were satisfactorily
+arranged.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So you have had your adventure, Baron,”</span> he added,
+with a smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a minute or two the Baron was silent. Then he
+broke into a cheerful guffaw, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha! You are a
+fonny devil, Bonker! Ach, bot it vas pleasant vile it
+lasted!”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0205" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc30" id="toc30"></a>
+<a name="pdf31" id="pdf31"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A few days passed in the most entertaining manner.
+A menu of amusements was regularly prepared suitable
+to a catholic taste, and at every turn the Baron was
+struck by the enterprise and originality of his friend.
+He had, however, a national bent for serious inquiry,
+and now and then doubts crossed his mind whether,
+with all his moral drawing, he was acquiring quite as
+much solid information as he had set out to gain. This
+idea grew upon him, till one morning, after gazing for
+some time at the English newspaper he always made a
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page95">[pg 95]</span><a name="Pg95" id="Pg95" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+point of reading, he suddenly exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker, I haf
+a doubt!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have many,”</span> replied Mr Bunker; <span class="tei tei-q">“in fact, I have
+few positive ideas left.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot mine is a particulair doubt. Do I lairn enoff?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My own conception of enough learning, Baron, is a
+thing like a threepenny-bit—the smallest coin one can do
+one’s marketing with.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And yet,”</span> said the Baron, solemnly, <span class="tei tei-q">“for my own
+share, I am not satisfied. I vould lairn more of ze British
+institutions; so far I haf lairned of ze pleasures only.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, they are the British institutions.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron shook his head and fell to his paper again,
+while Mr Bunker stretched himself on the sofa and
+gazed through his cigar-smoke at the ceiling. Suddenly
+the Baron gave an exclamation of horror.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, what is the matter?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yet anozer outrage!”</span> cried the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Zese anarchists,
+zey are too scandalous. At all ze stations zere
+are detectives, and all ze ships are being vatched. Ach,
+it is terrible!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker seemed struck with an idea, for he stared
+at the ceiling without making any reply, and his eyes,
+had the Baron seen them, twinkled curiously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At last the Baron laid down his paper.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vell, vat shall ve do?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let us come first to Liverpool Street Station, if you
+don’t mind, Baron,”</span> his friend suggested. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have something
+in the cloak-room there I want to pick up.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Bonker, I shall go vere you vill; bot remember
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page96">[pg 96]</span><a name="Pg96" id="Pg96" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+I vant to-day more instrogtion and less entertainment.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You wish to see the practical side of English life?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yah—zat is, yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker smiled.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then I must entertain myself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they drove down he was in his wittiest humour,
+and the Baron, in spite of his desire for instruction, was
+more charmed with his friend than ever.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat fonny zing vill you do next, eh?”</span> he asked, as
+they walked arm-in-arm into the station.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am no more the humourist, my dear Baron,—I
+shall endeavour to edify you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They had arrived at a busy hour, when the platforms
+were crowded with passengers and luggage. A train
+had just come in, and around it the bustle was at its
+height, and the confusion most bewildering.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Wait for me here,”</span> said Mr Bunker; <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall be
+back in a minute.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He started in the direction of the cloak-room, and
+then, doubling back through the crowd, walked down
+the platform and stopped opposite a luggage-van. An
+old gentleman, beside himself with irritation, was struggling
+with the aid of a porter to collect his luggage, and
+presently he left the pile he had got together and made
+a rush in the direction of a large portmanteau that was
+just being tumbled out. Instantly Mr Bunker picked
+up a handbag from the heap and walked quickly off
+with it.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Here you are, Baron,”</span> he said, as he came up to his
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page97">[pg 97]</span><a name="Pg97" id="Pg97" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+friend. <span class="tei tei-q">“I find there is something else I must do, so do
+you mind holding this bag for a few minutes? If you
+will walk up and down in front of the refreshment-rooms
+here, I’ll find you more easily. Is it troubling you too
+much?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not vun bit, Bonker. I am in your sairvice.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He put the bag into the Baron’s hand with his pleasantest
+smile, and turned away. Rounding a corner, he
+came cautiously back again through the crowd and
+stepped up to a policeman.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Keep your eye on that man, officer,”</span> he said, in a low
+confidential voice, and an air of quiet authority, <span class="tei tei-q">“and
+put your plain clothes’ men on his track. I know him
+for one of the most dangerous anarchists.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The man started and stared hard at the Baron, and
+presently that unconscious nobleman, pacing the platform
+in growing wonder at Mr Bunker’s lengthy absence,
+and looking anxiously round him on all sides, noticed
+with surprise that a number of quietly dressed men,
+with no apparent business in the station, were eyeing
+him with, it seemed to him, an interest that approached
+suspicion. In time he grew annoyed, he returned their
+glances with his haughtiest and most indignant look,
+and finally, stepping up to one of them, asked in no friendly
+voice, <span class="tei tei-q">“Vat for do you vatch me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The man returned an evasive answer, and passing one
+of his fellow-officers, whispered, <span class="tei tei-q">“Foreign; I was sure
+of it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At last the Baron could stand it no longer, and laying
+the bag down by the door of the refreshment-room,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page98">[pg 98]</span><a name="Pg98" id="Pg98" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+turned hastily away. On the instant Mr Bunker, who
+had watched these proceedings from a safe distance,
+cried in a loud and agonised voice, <span class="tei tei-q">“Down with your
+men, sergeant! Down, lie down! It will explode in
+twenty seconds!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And as he spoke he threw himself flat on his face.
+So infectious were his commanding voice and his note
+of alarm that one after another, detectives, passengers,
+and porters, cast themselves at full length on the platform.
+The Baron, filled with terror of anarchist plots,
+was one of the first to prostrate himself, and at that there
+could be no further doubt of the imminence of the peril.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The cabs rattled and voices sounded from outside;
+an engine whistled and shunted at a far platform, but
+never before at that hour of the day had Liverpool Street
+Station been so silent. All held their breath and heard
+their hearts thump as they gazed in horrible fascination
+at that fatal bag, or with closed eyes stumbled through
+a hasty prayer. Fully a minute passed, and the suspense
+was growing intolerable, when with a loud oath an old
+gentleman rose to his feet and walked briskly up to the
+bag.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have a care, sir! For Heaven’s sake have a care!”</span>
+cried Mr Bunker; but the old gentleman merely bent
+over the terrible object, and, picking it up, exclaimed
+in bewildered wrath, <span class="tei tei-q">“It’s my bag! Who the devil
+brought it here, and what’s the meaning of this d—d
+nonsense?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”</span> roared Mr Bunker; while like
+sheepish mushrooms the people sprang up on all sides.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page99">[pg 99]</span><a name="Pg99" id="Pg99" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear sir,”</span> said Mr Bunker, coming up to the old
+gentleman, and raising his hat with his most affable air,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“permit me to congratulate you on recovering your lost
+property, and allow me further to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Baron von damned-humbug!”</span> cried the old gentleman.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Did you take my bag, sir? and if so, are you a
+thief or a lunatic?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For an instant even Mr Bunker himself seemed a trifle
+taken aback; then he replied politely, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am not a thief,
+sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then what <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">’ave</span></span> you
+been doing?”</span> demanded the sergeant.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Merely demonstrating to my friend the Baron the
+extraordinary vigilance of the English police.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a time neither the old gentleman nor the sergeant
+seemed quite capable of taking the same view of the
+episode as Mr Bunker, and, curiously enough, the Baron
+seemed not disinclined to let his friend extricate himself
+as best he could. No one, however, could resist Mr
+Bunker, and before very long he and the Baron were
+driving up Bishopsgate Street together, with the old
+gentleman’s four-wheeler lumbering in front of them.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, Baron, are you satisfied with your morning’s
+instruction?”</span> asked his friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A German nobleman is not used to be in soch a
+position,”</span> replied the Baron, stiffly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must admit, however, that the object-lesson in
+the detection of anarchy was neatly presented.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I admit nozing of ze kind,”</span> said the Baron, stolidly.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page100">[pg 100]</span><a name="Pg100" id="Pg100" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For the rest of the drive he sat obdurately silent. He
+went to his room with the mien of an offended man.
+During lunch he only opened his lips to eat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">On his side Mr Bunker maintained a cheerful composure,
+and seemed not a whit put about by his friend’s
+lack of appreciation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Anozzer bottle of claret,”</span> said the Baron, gruffly, to
+a waiter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker let him consume it entirely by himself,
+awaiting the results with patience. Gradually his face
+relaxed a little, until all at once, when the bump in the
+bottom of the bottle was beginning to appear above the
+wine, the whole room was startled by a stentorian, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ha,
+ha, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Bonker!”</span> cried the Baron, when he had
+finished laughing, <span class="tei tei-q">“forgif me! I begin for to see ze
+moral, ha, ha, ha!”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0206" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc32" id="toc32"></a>
+<a name="pdf33" id="pdf33"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron expressed no further wish for instruction,
+but, instead, he began to show a desire for society.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Doesn’t one fool suffice?”</span> his friend asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, yes, my vise fool; ha, ha, ha! Bot sometimes
+I haf ze craving for peoples, museec, dancing—in vun
+vord, society, Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But this is not the season, Baron. You wouldn’t
+mix with any but the best society, would you?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page101">[pg 101]</span><a name="Pg101" id="Pg101" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zere are some nobles in town. In my paper I see
+Lord zis, Duke of zat, in London. Pairhaps my introdogtions
+might be here now.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This suggestion seemed to strike Mr Bunker unfavourably.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My company is beginning to pall, is it, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, no, dear Bonker! I vould merely go out jost
+vunce or tvice. Haf you no friends now in town?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">An idea seemed to seize Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let me see the paper,”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After perusing it carefully for a little, he at last exclaimed
+in a tone of pleased discovery, <span class="tei tei-q">“Hullo! I see
+that Lady Tulliwuddle is giving a reception and dance
+to-night. Most of the smart people in town just now
+are sure to be there. Would you care to go, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, surely,”</span> said the Baron, eagerly. <span class="tei tei-q">“Bot haf
+you been invited, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, I used to have a standing invitation to Lady
+Tulliwuddle’s dances, and I’m certain she would be glad
+to see me again.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can you take me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course, my dear Baron, she will be honoured.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot!”</span> cried the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ve shall go.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker explained that it was the proper thing to
+arrive very late, and so it was not until after twelve o’clock
+that they left the Hôtel Mayonaise for the regions of
+Belgravia. The Baron, primed with a bottle of champagne,
+and arrayed in a costume which Mr Bunker had
+assured him was the very latest extreme of fashion, and
+which included a scarlet watered silk waistcoat, a pair
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page102">[pg 102]</span><a name="Pg102" id="Pg102" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+of white silk socks, and a lavender tie, was in a condition
+of cheerfulness verging closely on hilarity. Mr
+Bunker, that, as he said, he might better serve as a
+foil to his friend’s splendour, went more inconspicuously
+dressed, but was likewise well charged with champagne.
+He too was in his happiest vein, and the vision of the
+Baron’s finery appeared to afford him peculiar gratification.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Their hansom stopped in front of a large and gaily
+lit-up mansion, with an awning leading to the door,
+and a cluster of carriages and footmen by the kerbstone.
+They entered, and having divested themselves of their
+coats, Mr Bunker proposed that they should immediately
+seek the supper-room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot should I not be first introduced to mine hostess?”</span>
+asked the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron! a formal reception of the guests is
+entirely foreign to English etiquette.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zo? I did not know zat.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The supper-room was crowded, and having secured a
+table with some difficulty, Mr Bunker entered immediately
+into conversation with a solitary young gentleman
+who was consuming a plate of oysters. Before they had
+exchanged six sentences the young man had entirely
+succumbed to Mr Bunker’s address, aided possibly by
+the young man’s supper.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph
+von Blitzenberg, a nobleman strange as yet to England,
+but renowned throughout his native land alike for his
+talents and his lofty position,”</span> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page103">[pg 103]</span><a name="Pg103" id="Pg103" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, my good friend,”</span> exclaimed the Baron, grasping
+the young man’s hand, <span class="tei tei-q">“das ist Bonker’s vat you call
+nonsense; bot I am delighted, zehr delighted, to meet
+you, and if you gom to Bavaria you most shoot vid me!
+Bravo! Ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">From which it may be gathered that the Baron was in
+a genial humour.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who is that girl?”</span> asked Mr Bunker, pointing to an
+extremely pretty damsel just leaving the room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, that’s my cousin, Lady Muriel Hilton. She’s
+thought rather pretty, I believe,”</span> answered the young
+man.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you mind introducing me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly,”</span> said their new friend. <span class="tei tei-q">“Come along.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they were passing through the room a little incident
+occurred that, if the Baron’s perceptions had been keener,
+might have given him cause for some speculation. Two
+men standing by the door looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and then at each other, and as the Baron passed them
+he heard one say, <span class="tei tei-q">“It looks devilish like him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He has shaved, then,”</span> said the other.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Evidently,”</span> replied the first speaker; <span class="tei tei-q">“but I thought
+he was unlikely to appear in any society for some time.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They both laughed, and the Baron heard no more.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When they reached the ballroom the band was striking
+up a polka, and presently Mr Bunker, with his accustomed
+grace, was tearing round the room with Lady Muriel,
+while the Baron—the delight of all eyes in his red
+waistcoat—led out her sister. In a very short time the other
+dancers found the Baron and his friend’s onslaught so
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page104">[pg 104]</span><a name="Pg104" id="Pg104" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+vigorous that prudence compelled them to take shelter
+along the wall, and from a safe distance admire the
+evolutions of these two mysterious guests.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker was enlivening the monotony of the polka
+by the judicious introduction of hornpipe steps, while
+the Baron, his coat-tails high above his head, shouted and
+stamped in his wild career.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do stop for a minute, Baron,”</span> gasped his fair partner.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Himmel, nein!”</span> roared the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“I haf gom here
+for to dance! Ha, Bonker, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At last Lady Muriel had to stop through sheer exhaustion,
+but Mr Bunker, merely letting her go, pursued his
+solitary way, double-shuffling and kicking unimpeded.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron stopped, breathless, to admire him. Round
+and round he went, the only figure in the middle of the
+room, his arms akimbo, his feet rat-tatting and kicking
+to the music, while high above the band resounded his
+friend’s shouts of <span class="tei tei-q">“Bravo, Bonker! Wunderschön!
+Gott in himmel, higher, higher!”</span> till at length, missing
+the wall in an attempt to find support, the Baron dropped
+with a thud into a sitting posture and continued his demonstrations
+from the floor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Meanwhile their alarmed hostess was holding a hasty
+consultation with her husband, and when the music at
+last stopped and Mr Bunker was advancing with his
+most courteous air towards his late partner, Lord Tulliwuddle
+stepped up to him and touched his arm.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“May I speak to you, sir?”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly,”</span> replied Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall be honoured.
+Excuse me for one moment, Lady Muriel.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page105">[pg 105]</span><a name="Pg105" id="Pg105" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“At whose invitation have you come here to-night?”</span>
+demanded his host, sternly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have the pleasure of addressing Lord Tulliwuddle,
+have I not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker bent towards him and whispered something
+in his ear.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“From Scotland Yard?”</span> exclaimed his lordship.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hush!”</span> said Mr Bunker, glancing cautiously round
+the room, and then he added, with an air of impressive
+gravity, <span class="tei tei-q">“You have a bathroom on the third floor, I
+believe?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have,”</span> replied his host in great surprise.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Has it a bell?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, I believe not.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, I thought so. If you will favour me by coming
+up-stairs for a minute, my Lord, you will avoid a serious
+private scandal. Say nothing about it at present to any
+one.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In blank astonishment and some alarm Lord Tulliwuddle
+went up with him to the third floor, where the
+house was still and the sounds of revelry reached faintly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What does this mean, sir?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If I am right in my conjectures you will need no
+explanation from me, my Lord.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His lordship opened a door, and turning on an electric
+light, revealed a small and ordinary-looking bathroom.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, no bell—excellent!”</span> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What are you doing with the key?”</span> exclaimed his
+host.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page106">[pg 106]</span><a name="Pg106" id="Pg106" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good night, my Lord. I shall tell them to send up
+breakfast at nine,”</span> said Mr Bunker, and stepping quickly
+out, he shut and locked the door.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A minute later he was back in the ballroom looking
+anxiously for the Baron, but that nobleman was nowhere
+to be seen.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The devil!”</span> he said to himself. <span class="tei tei-q">“Can they have
+tackled him too?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But as he ran downstairs a gust of cheerful laughter
+set his mind at ease.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha! Vere is old Bonker? He also vill shoot
+vid me!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Here I am, my dear Baron,”</span> he exclaimed gaily,
+as he tracked the voice into the supper-room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, mine dear Bonker!”</span> cried the Baron, folding
+him in his muscular embrace, <span class="tei tei-q">“I haf here met friends,
+ve are merry! Ve drink to Bavaria, to England, to
+everyzing!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The <span class="tei tei-q">“friends”</span> consisted of two highly amused young
+men and two half-scandalised, half-hysterical ladies,
+into the midst of whose supper-table the Baron had projected
+himself with infectious hilarity. They all looked
+up with great curiosity at Mr Bunker, but that gentleman
+was not in the least put about. He bowed politely to
+the table generally, and took his friend by the arm.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is time we were going, Baron,
+I’m afraid,”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat for? Ah, not yet, Bonker, not yet. I am enjoying
+myself down to ze floor. I most dance again, Bonker,
+jost vunce more,”</span> pleaded the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, the noblemen of highest rank must
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page107">[pg 107]</span><a name="Pg107" id="Pg107" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+always leave first, and people are talking of going now.
+Come along, old man.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, is zat so?”</span> said the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Zen vill I go.
+Good night!”</span> he cried, waving his hand to the room
+generally. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ven you gom to Bavaria you most all
+shoot vid me. Bravo, my goot Bonker! Ha! ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they turned away from the table, one of the young
+men, who had been looking very hard at Mr Bunker,
+rose and touched his sleeve.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I say, aren’t you&mdash;&mdash;?”</span> he began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Possibly I am,”</span> interrupted Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“only I
+haven’t the slightest recollection of the fact.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">An astonished lady was indicated by Mr Bunker as
+the hostess, and to her the Baron bade an affectionate
+adieu. He handed a sovereign to the footman, embraced
+the butler, and as they sped eastwards in their hansom,
+a rousing chorus from the two friends awoke the echoes
+of Piccadilly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bravo, Bonker! Himmel, I haf enjoyed myself!”</span>
+sighed the exhausted Baron.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0207" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc34" id="toc34"></a>
+<a name="pdf35" id="pdf35"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed a twelve o’clock
+breakfast with the relish of men who had done a good
+night’s work. The Baron was full of his exploits. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ze
+lofly Lady Hilton”</span> and his new <span class="tei tei-q">“friends”</span> seemed to
+have made a vivid impression.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page108">[pg 108]</span><a name="Pg108" id="Pg108" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zey vill be in ze Park to-day, of course?”</span> he suggested.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Possibly,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, without any great
+enthusiasm.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But surely.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“After a dance it is rather unlikely.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze Lady Hilton did say she vent to ze Park.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To-day, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I do not remember to-day. I did dance so hard I
+was not perhaps distinct. But I shall go and see.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As Mr Bunker’s attempts to throw cold water on this
+scheme proved quite futile, he made a graceful virtue of
+necessity, dressed himself with care, and set out in the
+afternoon for the Park. They had only walked as far
+as Piccadilly Circus when in the crowd at the corner his
+eye fell upon a familiar figure. It was the burly, red-faced
+man.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The devil! Moggridge again!”</span> he muttered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For a moment he thought they were going to pass
+unobserved: then the man turned his head their way,
+and Mr Bunker saw him start. He never looked over
+his shoulder, but after walking a little farther he called
+the Baron’s attention to a shop window, and they stopped
+to look at it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Moggridge
+about twenty yards behind them stopping too.
+He was glancing towards them very doubtfully. Evidently
+his mind was not yet made up, and at once Mr
+Bunker’s fertile brain began to revolve plans.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A little farther on they paused before another window,
+and exactly the same thing happened. Then Mr Bunker
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page109">[pg 109]</span><a name="Pg109" id="Pg109" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+made up his mind. He looked carefully at the cabs,
+and at last observed a smart-looking young man driving
+a fresh likely horse at a walking pace beside the pavement.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He caught the driver’s eye and raised his stick, and
+turning suddenly to the Baron with a gesture of annoyance,
+exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Forgive my rudeness, Baron, I’m
+afraid I must leave you. I had clean forgotten an important
+engagement in the city for this afternoon.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Appointment in ze city?”</span> said the Baron in considerable
+surprise. <span class="tei tei-q">“I did not know you had friends
+in ze city.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have just heard from my father’s man of business,
+and I’m afraid it would be impolitic not to see him. Do
+you mind if I leave you here?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Surely, my dear fellow, I vould not stop you. Already
+I feel at home by myself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then we shall meet at the hotel before dinner. Good
+luck with the ladies, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker jumped into the cab, saying only to the
+driver, <span class="tei tei-q">“To the city, as quick as you can.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What part, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, say the Bank. Hurry up!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Then as the man whipped up, Mr Bunker had a glimpse
+of Moggridge hailing another cab, and peeping cautiously
+through the little window at the back he saw him starting
+in hot pursuit. He took five shillings out of his pocket
+and opened the trap-door in the roof.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you see that other cab chasing us, with a red-faced
+man inside?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, sir.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page110">[pg 110]</span><a name="Pg110" id="Pg110" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker handed his driver the money.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Get rid of him, then. Take me anywhere through
+the city you like, and when he’s off the scent let me
+know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Very good, sir,”</span> replied the driver, cracking his whip
+till his steed began to move past the buses and the other
+cabs like a train.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">On they flew, clatter and jingle, twisting like a snipe
+through the traffic. Mr Bunker perceived that he had a
+good horse and a good driver, and he smiled in pleasant
+excitement. He lit a cigar, leaned his arms on the doors,
+and settled himself to enjoy the race.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The black lions of Trafalgar Square flew by, then
+the colossal hotels of Northumberland Avenue and the
+railway bridge at Charing Cross, and they were going
+at a gallop along the Embankment. He got swift glimpses
+of other cabs and foot-passengers, the trees seemed to
+flit past like telegraph-posts on a railway, the barges and
+lighters on the river dropped one by one behind them:
+it was a fair course for a race, with never a check before
+Blackfriar’s Bridge.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As they turned into Queen Victoria Street he opened
+the lid and asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“Are they still in sight?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, sir; I’m afraid we ain’t gaining much yet. But
+I’ll do it, sir, no fears.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker lay back and laughed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This is better than the Park,”</span> he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They had a fine drive up Queen Victoria Street before
+they plunged into the whirlpool of traffic at the Bank.
+They were slowly making their way across when the
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page111">[pg 111]</span><a name="Pg111" id="Pg111" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+driver, spying an opening in another stream, abruptly
+wheeled round for Cornhill, and presently they were off
+again at top speed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thrown them off?”</span> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Tried to, sir, but they were too sharp and got clear
+away too.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker saw that it was going to be a stern chase,
+and laughed again. In order that he might not show
+ostensibly that he was running away, he resisted the
+temptation of having another peep through the back,
+and resigned himself to the chances of the chase.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Through and through the lanes and byways of the city
+they drove, and after each double the answer from the
+box was always the same. The cab behind could not be
+shaken off.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Work your way round to Holborn and try a run west,”</span>
+Mr Bunker suggested.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">So after a little they struck Newgate Street, and presently
+their steed stretched himself again in Holborn Viaduct.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Gaining now, cabby?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A little, sir, I think.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker sat placidly till they were well along Holborn
+before he inquired again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can’t get rid of ’im no ’ow.
+Afride it ain’t much good, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker passed up five shillings more.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Keep your tail up. You’ll do it yet,”</span> he exhorted.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Try a turn north; you may bother him among the
+squares.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">So they doubled north, and as the evening closed in
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page112">[pg 112]</span><a name="Pg112" id="Pg112" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+their wearied horse was lashed through a maze of monotonous
+streets and tarnished Bloomsbury Squares.
+And still the other cab stuck to their trail. But when
+they emerged on the Euston Road, Mr Bunker was as
+cheerful as ever.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They can’t last much longer,”</span> he said to his driver.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Turn up Regent’s Park way.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A little later he put the usual question and got the
+same unvarying answer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The horse was evidently beginning to fail, and he saw
+that this chariot-race must soon come to an end. The
+street-lamps and the shop windows were all lit up by this
+time, and the dusk was pretty thick. It seemed to him
+that he might venture to try his luck on foot, and he
+began to look out for an opening where a cab could not
+follow.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They were flogging along a noisy stone-paved road
+where there was little other traffic; on one side stood an
+unbroken row of houses, and on the other were small
+semi-detached villas with little strips of garden about
+them. All at once he saw a doctor’s red lamp over the
+door of one of these half villas, and an inspiration came
+upon him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“One can always visit a doctor,”</span> he said to himself, and
+smiled in great amusement at something in the reflection.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stopped the cab, handed the man half a sovereign,
+and saying only, <span class="tei tei-q">“Drive away again, quickly,”</span> jumped
+out, glanced at the name on the plate, and pulled the bell.
+As he waited on the step he saw the other cab stop a little
+way back, and his pursuer emerge.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page113">[pg 113]</span><a name="Pg113" id="Pg113" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A frowsy little servant opened the door.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is Dr Twiddel at home?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dr Twiddel’s abroad, sir,”</span> said the maid.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No one in at all, then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dr Billson sees ’is patients, sir—w’en
+there <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">his</span></span> any.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“When do you expect Dr Billson?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In about an hour, sir, ’e usually comes hin.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Excellent!”</span> thought Mr Bunker. Aloud he said,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I’m a patient. I’ll come in and wait.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He stepped in, and the door banged behind him.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0208" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc36" id="toc36"></a>
+<a name="pdf37" id="pdf37"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VIII.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This w’y, sir,”</span> said the maid, and Mr Bunker found
+himself in the little room where this story opened.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The moment he was alone he went to the window and
+peeped cautiously between the slats of the venetian blind.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The street was quiet, both cabs had disappeared, and
+for a minute or two he could see nothing even of Moggridge.
+Then a figure moved carefully from the shelter
+of a bush a little way down the railings, and, after a quick
+look at the house, stepped back again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He means to play the waiting game,”</span> said Mr Bunker
+to himself. <span class="tei tei-q">“Long may you wait, my wary Moggridge!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He took a rapid survey of the room. He saw the
+medical library, the rented furniture, and the unlit gas-stove;
+and at last his eye fell upon a box of cigarettes.
+To one of these he helped himself and leaned his back
+against the mantelpiece.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page114">[pg 114]</span><a name="Pg114" id="Pg114" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There must be at least one room at the back,”</span> he
+reflected; <span class="tei tei-q">“that room must have a window, and beyond
+that window there is all London to turn to. Friend
+Moggridge, I trust you are prepared to spend the evening
+behind your bush.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He had another look through the blind and shook his
+head.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A little too light yet,—I’d better wait for a quarter
+of an hour or so.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To while away the time he proceeded to make a tour of
+the room, for, as he said to himself, when in an unknown
+country any information may possibly come in useful.
+There was nothing whatever from which he could draw
+even the most superficial deduction till he came to the
+writing-desk. Here a heap of bills were transfixed by a
+long skewer, and at his first glance at the uppermost his
+face assumed an expression of almost ludicrous bewilderment.
+He actually rubbed his eyes before he looked a second time.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“One dozen shirts,”</span> he read, <span class="tei tei-q">“four under-flannels,
+four pair socks, one dozen handkerchiefs, two sleeping-suits—marked
+Francis Beveridge! the account rendered
+to Dr G. Twiddel! What in the name of wonderment
+is the meaning of this?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He sat down with the bill in his hand and gazed hard
+at it.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Precisely my outfit,”</span> he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Am I—Does it&mdash;&mdash;? What a rum thing!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He sat for about ten minutes looking hard at the floor.
+Then he burst out laughing, resumed in a moment his
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page115">[pg 115]</span><a name="Pg115" id="Pg115" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+air of philosophical opportunism, and set about a further
+search of the desk. He looked at the bills and seemed to
+find nothing more to interest him. Then he glanced at
+one or two letters in the drawers, threw the first few back
+again, and at last paused over one.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Twiddel to Billson,”</span> he said to himself. <span class="tei tei-q">“This
+may possibly be worth looking at.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was dated more than a month back from the town
+of Fogelschloss.</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dear Tom,”</span> it ran, <span class="tei tei-q">“we are having
+  an A 1 time. Old Welsh is in splendid form, doing the part
+  to perfection. He has never given himself away yet, not even
+  when drunk, which, I am sorry to say, he has been too
+  often. But then old Welsh is so funny when he is drunk
+  that it makes him all the more like the original, or at
+  least what the original is supposed to be.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course we don’t dare to
+  venture into places where
+  we would see too many English. This is quite an amusing
+  place for a German town, some baths and a kind of
+  a gambling-table, and some pretty girls—for Germans.
+  There is a sporting aristocrat here, in an old castle, who
+  is very friendly, and is much impressed with Welsh’s
+  account of his family plate and deer-forest, and has asked
+  us once or twice to come out and see him. We are no
+  end of swells, I assure you.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ta, ta, old chap. Hope the practice
+  prospers in your hands. Don’t kill
+  <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">all</span></span> the
+  patients before I come back.—Ever thine,</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">GEORGE TWIDDEL</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“From this I conclude that Dr Twiddel is on the
+festive side of forty,”</span> he reflected; <span class="tei tei-q">“there are elements
+of mystery and a general atmosphere of alcohol about
+it, but that’s all, I’m afraid.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page116">[pg 116]</span><a name="Pg116" id="Pg116" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He put it back in the drawer, but the bill he slipped
+into his pocket.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now,”</span> thought he, <span class="tei tei-q">“it is time I made the first
+move.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">After waiting for a minute or two to make sure that
+everything was quiet, he gently stepped out into a little
+linoleum-carpeted hall. On the right hand was the
+front door, on the left two others that must, he thought,
+open into rooms on the back. He chose the nearer at a
+venture, and entered boldly. It was quite dark. He
+closed the door again softly, struck a match, and looked
+round the room. It seemed to be Dr Twiddel’s dining-
+and sitting-room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Pipes, photographs, well-sat-in chairs,”</span> he observed,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">and</span></span> a window.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He pulled aside the blind and looked out into the darkness
+of a strip of back-garden. For a minute he listened
+intently, but no sound came from the house. Then he
+threw up the sash and scrambled out. It was quite dark
+by this time: he was enclosed between two rows of vague,
+black houses, with bright windows here and there, and
+chimney-cans faintly cutting their uncouth designs among
+a few pale London stars. The space between was filled
+with the two lines of little gardens and the ranks of walls,
+and in the middle the black chasm of a railway cutting.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A frightened cat bolted before him as he hurried down
+to the foot of the strip, but that was all the life he saw.
+He looked over the wall right into the deep crevasse.
+A little way off, on the one hand, hung a cluster of
+signal-lights, and the shining rails reflected them all along to
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page117">[pg 117]</span><a name="Pg117" id="Pg117" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+the mouth of a tunnel on the other. Turning his head
+this way and that, there was nothing to be seen anywhere
+else but garden wall after garden wall.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s a choice between a hurdle-race through these
+gardens, a cat-walk along this wall, and a descent into
+the cutting,”</span> he reflected. <span class="tei tei-q">“The walls look devilish high
+and the cutting devilish deep. Hang me if I know
+which road to take.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">While he was still debating this somewhat perplexing
+question, he felt the ground begin to quiver under him.
+Through the hum of London there gradually arose a
+louder roar, and in a minute the head-lights of an engine
+flashed out of the tunnel. One after another a string of
+bright carriages followed it, each more slowly than the
+carriage in front, till the whole train was at a standstill
+below him with the red signal-lamp against it.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In an instant his decision was taken. At the peril of
+life and garments he scrambled down the rocky bank,
+picking as he went an empty first-class compartment,
+and just as the train began to move again he swung himself
+up and sprang into a carriage.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Unfortunately he had chosen the wrong one in his
+haste, and as he opened the door he saw a comical vision
+of a stout little old gentleman huddling into the farther
+corner in the most dire consternation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who are you, sir? What do you want, sir?”</span> spluttered
+the old gentleman. <span class="tei tei-q">“If you come any nearer me,
+sir—one step, sir!—I shall instantly communicate with
+the guard! I have no money about me. Go away,
+sir!”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page118">[pg 118]</span><a name="Pg118" id="Pg118" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I regret to learn that you have no money,”</span> replied
+Mr Bunker, imperturbably; <span class="tei tei-q">“but I am sorry that I am
+not at present in a condition to offer a loan.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He sat down and smiled amicably, but the little gentleman
+was not to be quieted so easily. Seeing that no
+violence was apparently intended, his fright changed into
+respectable indignation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You needn’t try to be funny with me, sir. You are
+committing an illegal act. You have placed yourself in
+an uncommonly serious position, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed, sir?”</span> replied Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“I myself should
+have imagined that by remaining on the rails I should
+have been much more seriously situated.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The old gentleman looked at him like an angry small
+dog that longs to bite if it only dared.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What is the meaning of this illegal intrusion?”</span> he
+demanded. <span class="tei tei-q">“Who are you? Where did you come
+from?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I had the misfortune, sir,”</span> explained Mr Bunker,
+politely, <span class="tei tei-q">“to drop my hat out of the window of a neighbouring
+carriage. While I was picking it up the train started,
+and I had to enter the first compartment I could find. I
+am sorry that my entry frightened you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Frightened me!”</span> spluttered the old gentleman. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+am not afraid, sir. I am an honest man who need fear
+no one, sir. I do not believe you dropped your hat. It
+is perfectly uninjured.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It may be news to you, sir,”</span> replied Mr Bunker,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that by gently yet firmly passing the sleeve of your coat
+round your hat in the direction of the nap, it is possible
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page119">[pg 119]</span><a name="Pg119" id="Pg119" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+to restore the gloss. Thus,”</span> and suiting the action to
+the word he took off his hat, drew his coat-sleeve across
+it, and with a genial smile at the old gentleman, replaced
+it on his head.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But his neighbour was evidently of that truculent disposition
+which merely growls at blandishments. He
+snorted and replied testily, <span class="tei tei-q">“That is all very well, sir, but
+I don’t believe a word of it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you prefer it, then, I fell off the telegraph wires in
+an attempt to recover my boots.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The old gentleman became purple in the face.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have a care, sir! I am a director of this company,
+and at the next station I shall see that you give a proper
+account of yourself. And here we are, sir. I trust you
+have a more credible story in readiness.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he spoke they drew up beside an underground
+platform, and the irascible old gentleman, with a very
+threatening face that was not yet quite cleared of alarm,
+bustled out in a prodigious hurry. Mr Bunker lay back
+in his seat and replied with a smile, <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall be delighted
+to tell any story within the bounds of strict propriety.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But the moment he saw the irate director disappear
+in the crowd he whipped out too, and with the least
+possible delay transferred himself into a third-class
+carriage.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">From his seat near the window he watched the old
+gentleman hurry back with three officials at his heels,
+and hastily search each first-class compartment in turn.
+The last one was so near him that he could hear his friend
+say, <span class="tei tei-q">“Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!”</span>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page120">[pg 120]</span><a name="Pg120" id="Pg120" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+And with that the four of them rushed off to the barrier
+to intercept or pursue this suspicious character. Then
+the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr Bunker
+remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, whoever I am, it would seem I’m rather
+difficult to catch.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0209" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc38" id="toc38"></a>
+<a name="pdf39" id="pdf39"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IX.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker arrived at the Hôtel Mayonaise in what,
+from his appearance, was an unusually reflective state of
+mind for him. The other visitors, many of whom had
+begun to regard him and his noble friend with great
+interest, saw him pass through the crowd in the hall
+and about the lifts with a thoughtful air. He went
+straight to the Baron’s room. Outside the door he
+paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile,
+and then burst gaily in upon his friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, my dear Baron!”</span> he cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“what luck in the
+Park?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English
+novel. He laid down his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I do not onderstand your English vays,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much
+amiss, nor was he without a suspicion of the cause. He
+laughed, however, and asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“What’s the matter, old
+man?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I vent to ze Park,”</span> said the Baron, with a solemn
+deliberation that evidently came hardly to him. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page121">[pg 121]</span><a name="Pg121" id="Pg121" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you know, viz taste
+and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked
+under ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people.
+Goddam!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron!”</span> expostulated Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron resumed his intense composure with a
+great effort.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit
+ze ozzer Lady Hilton and vun old lady. I raise my
+hat—no bow from zem. <span class="tei tei-q">‘Pairhaps,’</span> I zink, <span class="tei tei-q">‘zey see me
+not.’</span> Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I
+gomed up and again I raise my hat and I say, <span class="tei tei-q">‘How do
+you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you are regovered from
+ze dance.’</span> Zat was gorrect, vas it not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perfectly,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer
+Lady Hilton cry, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Ach, zat German man!’</span> And vy did
+ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Send him avay!
+How dare you? Insolence!’</span> and suchlike vords?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!”</span> said
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Remargable!”</span> roared the justly incensed Baron.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Is it not more zan <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">remargable?</span></span> Donner und blitzen!
+Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English vord so bad
+enoff for soch conduct.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It must have been a joke,”</span> his friend suggested,
+soothingly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vun dashed bad joke, zen! Ze gentleman said to
+me, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Get out of zis, you rasgal!’</span> <span class="tei tei-q">‘Vat mean you, sare?’</span>
+say I. <span class="tei tei-q">‘You know quite vell,’</span> said he. <span class="tei tei-q">‘Glear out!’</span>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page122">[pg 122]</span><a name="Pg122" id="Pg122" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+So I gave him my card and tell him I would be glad to
+see his frient zat he should send, for zat I vas not used
+to be called zo. Zen I raise my hat to ze Lady Hilton
+and say, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Adieu, madame, I know now ze English lady,’</span>
+and I valk on. Himmel!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What a very extraordinary affair, Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron grunted with inarticulate indignation and
+nearly pulled his moustache out by the roots. Abruptly
+he broke out again, <span class="tei tei-q">“English ladies? I do not believe
+zey are ladies! Never haf I been treated zo! Vat do
+you mean, Bonker, by taking me among soch peoples?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span>, my dear Baron?
+It was not I who introduced
+you to the Hiltons. I never saw them before.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The difficulty of attaching any blame to his friend
+seemed to have anything but a soothing effect on the
+Baron. You could almost fancy that you heard his tail
+lash the floor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zat vas not all,”</span> he continued, after a short struggle
+with his wrath. <span class="tei tei-q">“I valked on, and soon I see two of ze
+frients I made last night at supper.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Which two?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze yong man zat spoke to you ven you rise from ze
+table, and vun of ze ladies. Again I raise my hat and
+say, <span class="tei tei-q">‘How do you do? I hope zat you are regovered
+from ze dance.’</span> Zat is gorrect, you say?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Under most circumstances.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze man stared at me, and ze voman—I vill not say
+lady—says to him zo zat I can hear, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Zat awful German!’</span>
+Ze man says, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Zo it is,’</span> and laughed. <span class="tei tei-q">‘I haf ze pleasure
+of meeting you last night at ze Lady Tollyvoddle,’</span> I said.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page123">[pg 123]</span><a name="Pg123" id="Pg123" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<span class="tei tei-q">‘I remember,’</span> he said; <span class="tei tei-q">‘but I haf no vish to meet you
+again.’</span> I take out my card to gif him, but he only said,
+<span class="tei tei-q">‘Go avay, or I vill call ze police!’</span> <span class="tei tei-q">‘Ze police! To me,
+Baron von Blitzenberg! Teufel!’</span> I replied.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And that was all, Baron?”</span> asked Mr Bunker, in
+what seemed rather like a tone of relief.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No; suddenly he did turn back and said, <span class="tei tei-q">‘By ze vay,
+who vas zat viz you last night?’</span> To vich I replied,
+<span class="tei tei-q">‘If you address me again, my man, I vill call ze police.
+Go avay!’</span> ”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bravo, Baron! Ha, ha, ha! Excellent!”</span> laughed
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This applause served to reinstate the Baron a little in
+his own good opinion. He laughed too, though rather
+noisily than heartily, and suddenly became grave again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat means zis, Bonker? Vat haf I done? Vy
+should zey treat me zo?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, you see, my dear Baron,”</span> his friend explained,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I ought to have warned you that it is not usual in England
+to address ladies you have met at a dance without
+some direct invitation on their part. At the same time,
+it is evident that the Hiltons and the other man, who of
+course must be connected with the Foreign Office, are
+aware of some sudden strain in the diplomatic relations
+between England and Germany, which as yet is unknown
+to the public. Your ancient name and your high rank
+have naturally led them to conclude that you are an agent
+of the German Government, and an international significance
+was of course attached to your presence in the
+Park. I certainly think they took a most outrageous
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page124">[pg 124]</span><a name="Pg124" id="Pg124" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+advantage of a trifling detail of etiquette to repulse you;
+but then you must remember, Baron, that their families
+might have been seriously compromised with the Government
+if they had been seen with so prominent a member
+of the German aristocracy in the middle of Hyde Park.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zo?”</span> said the Baron, thoughtfully. <span class="tei tei-q">“I begin to
+onderstand. My name, as you say, is cairtainly distinguished.
+Bot zen should I remain in London?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Just what I was wondering, Baron. What do you
+say to a trip down to St Egbert’s-on-Sea? It’s a very
+select watering-place, and we might spend a week or two
+there very pleasantly.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Egxellent!”</span> said the Baron; <span class="tei tei-q">“ven shall we start?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To-morrow morning.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Goot! zo let it be. I am tired of London and of ze
+English ladies’ manners. Police to ze Baron von Blitzenberg!
+Ve shall go to St Egbert’s, Bonker!”</span></p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="page" /><div id="LL0300" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page125">[pg 125]</span><a name="Pg125" id="Pg125" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc40" id="toc40"></a>
+<a name="pdf41" id="pdf41"></a>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">PART III.</span></span>
+</h1>
+
+<div id="LL0301" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc42" id="toc42"></a>
+<a name="pdf43" id="pdf43"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron and Mr Bunker walked arm-in-arm
+along the esplanade at St Egbert’s-on-Sea.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Aha!”</span> said the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“zis is more fresh zan
+London!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes,”</span> replied his friend; <span class="tei tei-q">“we are now in the presence
+of that stimulating element which provides patriotic Britons
+with music-hall songs, and dyspeptic Britons with an
+appetite.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A stirring breeze swept down the long white esplanade,
+threatening hats and troubling skirts; the pale-green
+south-coast sea rumbled up the shingle; the day was
+bright and pleasant for the time of year, and drove the
+Baron’s mischances from his head; altogether it seemed
+to Mr Bunker that the omens were good. They were
+both dressed in the smartest of tweed suits, and walked
+jauntily, like men who knew their own value. Every
+now and then, as they passed a pretty face, the Baron
+would say, <span class="tei tei-q">“Aha, Bonker! zat is not so bad, eh?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And Mr Bunker, who seemed not unwilling that his
+friend should find some entertaining distraction in St
+Egbert’s, would look at the owners of these faces with a
+prospector’s eye and his own unrivalled assurance.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page126">[pg 126]</span><a name="Pg126" id="Pg126" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They had walked up and down three or four times,
+when a desire for a different species of diversion began
+to overtake the Baron. It was the one kind of desire
+that the Baron never even tried to wrestle with.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My vriend Bonker,”</span> said he, <span class="tei tei-q">“is it not somevere
+about time for loncheon, eh?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should say it was precisely the hour.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha! zen, let us gom and eat. Himmel, zis sea
+is ze fellow to make von hungry!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron had taken a private suite of rooms on the
+first floor of the best hotel in St Egbert’s, and after a
+very substantial lunch Mr Bunker stretched himself on
+the luxurious sitting-room sofa and announced his intention
+of having a nap.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall go out,”</span> said the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“You vill not gom?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall leave you to make a single-handed conquest,”</span>
+replied Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“Besides, I have a little matter I
+want to look into.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">So the Baron arranged his hat airily, at what he had
+perceived to be the most fashionable and effective English
+angle, and strutted off to the esplanade.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was about two hours later that he burst excitedly
+into the room, crying, <span class="tei tei-q">“Aha, mine Bonker! I haf disgovered
+zomzing!”</span> and then he stopped in some surprise.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Ello, vat make you, my vriend?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His friend, in fact, seemed to be somewhat singularly
+employed. Through a dense cloud of tobacco-smoke you
+could just pick him out of the depths of an armchair,
+his feet resting on the mantelpiece, while his lap and all
+the floor round about were covered with immense books.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page127">[pg 127]</span><a name="Pg127" id="Pg127" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+The Baron’s curiosity was still further excited by observing
+that they consisted principally of a London and a
+St Egbert’s directory, several volumes of a Dictionary
+of National Biography, and one or two peerages and
+county family compilations.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He looked up with a smile. <span class="tei tei-q">“You may well wonder,
+my dear Baron. The fact is, I am looking for a name.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A name! vat name?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alas! if I knew what it was I should stop looking,
+and I confess I’m rather sick of the job.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vich vay do you look, zen?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Simply by wading my way through all the lists of
+names I could steal or borrow. It’s devilish dry work.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze name of a vriend, is it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes; but I’m afraid I must wait till it comes. And
+what is this discovery, Baron? A petticoat, I presume.
+After all, they are the only things worth finding,”</span> and he
+shut the books one after another.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A petticoat with ze fairest girl inside it!”</span> exclaimed
+the Baron, rapturously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Your eyes seem to have been singularly penetrating,
+Baron. Was she dark or fair, tall or short, fat or slender,
+widow, wife, or maid?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Fair, viz blue eyes, short pairhaps but not too short,
+slender as a—a—drom-stick, and I vould say a maid; at
+least I see vun stout old lady mit her, mozzer and daughter
+I soppose.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And did this piece of perfection seem to appreciate
+you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vy should I know? Zey are ze real ladies and pairtend
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page128">[pg 128]</span><a name="Pg128" id="Pg128" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+not to see me, bot I zink zey notice me all ze same.
+Not <span class="tei tei-q">‘lady vriends,’</span> Bonker, ha, ha, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker laughed with reminiscent amusement,
+and inquired, <span class="tei tei-q">“And how did the romance end—in a cab,
+Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> laughed the Baron; <span class="tei tei-q">“better zan zat,
+Bonker—moch better!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker raised his eyebrows.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s hardly the time of year for a romance to end in
+a bathing-machine. You followed the divinity to her
+rented heaven, perhaps?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron bent forward and answered in a stage
+whisper, <span class="tei tei-q">“Zey live in zis hotel, Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then I can only wish you joy, Baron, and if my
+funds allow me, send her a wedding present.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, not quite so fast, my vriend! I am not caught
+so easy.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear fellow, a week at close quarters is sufficient
+to net any man.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ven I marry,”</span> replied the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“moch most be considered.
+A von Blitzenberg does not mate viz every vun.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A good many families have made the same remark,
+but one does not always meet the fathers-in-law.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha! ve shall see. Bot, Bonker, she is lofly!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron awaited dinner with even more than his
+usual ardour. He dressed with the greatest care, and
+at an absurdly early hour was already urging his friend
+to come down and take their places. Indeed after a time
+there was no withholding him, and they finally took their
+seats in the dining-room before anybody else.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page129">[pg 129]</span><a name="Pg129" id="Pg129" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably
+long intervals a few people dropped in and began to
+study their menus and glance with an air of uncomfortable
+suspicion at their neighbours.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I vonder vill she gom,”</span> he said three or four times at
+least.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Console yourself, my dear Baron,”</span> his friend would
+reply; <span class="tei tei-q">“they always come. That’s seldom the difficulty.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And the Baron would dally with his victuals in the
+most unwonted fashion, and growl at the rapidity with
+which the courses followed one another.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do zey suppose ve vish to eat like&mdash;&mdash;?”</span> he began,
+and then laying his hand on his friend’s sleeve, he whispered,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“She goms!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker turned his head just in time to see in the
+doorway the Countess of Grillyer and the Lady Alicia à
+Fyre.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is she not fair?”</span> asked the Baron, excitedly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I entirely approve of your taste, Baron. I have only
+once seen any one quite like her before.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With a gratified smile the Baron filled his glass, while
+his friend seemed amused by some humorous reflection
+of his own.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Lady Alicia and her mother had taken their seats
+at a table a little way off, and at first their eyes never
+happened to turn in the direction of the two friends.
+But at last, after looking at the ceiling, the carpet, the
+walls, the other people, everything else in the room it
+seemed, Lady Alicia’s glance fell for an instant on the
+Baron. That nobleman looked as interesting as a
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page130">[pg 130]</span><a name="Pg130" id="Pg130" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+mouthful of roast duck would permit him, but the glance
+passed serenely on to Mr Bunker. For a moment it
+remained serene; suddenly it became startled and puzzled,
+and at that instant Mr Bunker turned his own eyes full
+upon her, smiled slightly, and raised his glass to his
+lips.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The glance fell, and the Lady Alicia blushed down to
+the diamonds in her necklace.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron insisted on lingering over his dinner till
+the charmer was finished, and so by a fortuitous coincidence
+they left the room immediately behind the Countess.
+The Baron passed them in the passage, and a few
+yards farther he looked round for his friend, and the
+Countess turned to look for her daughter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They saw Lady Alicia following with an intensely
+unconscious expression, while Mr Bunker was in the act
+of returning to the dining-room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wanted to secure a table for breakfast,”</span> he explained.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0302" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc44" id="toc44"></a>
+<a name="pdf45" id="pdf45"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron was in high hopes of seeing the fair unknown
+at breakfast, but it seemed she must be either
+breakfasting in her own room or lying long abed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I think I shall go out for a little constitutional,”</span> said
+Mr Bunker, when he had finished. <span class="tei tei-q">“I suppose the hotel
+has a stronger attraction for you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, yes, I shall remain,”</span> his friend replied. <span class="tei tei-q">“Pairhaps
+I may see zem.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page131">[pg 131]</span><a name="Pg131" id="Pg131" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Take care then, Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall not propose till you return, Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No,”</span> said Mr Bunker to himself, <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t think
+you will.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Just outside St Egbert’s there is a high breezy sweep
+of downs, falling suddenly to a chalky seaward cliff. It
+overlooks the town and the undulating inland country
+and a great spread of shining sea; and even without a
+spy-glass you can see sail after sail and smoke-wreath
+after smoke-wreath go by all day long.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But Mr Bunker had apparently walked there for other
+reasons than to see the view. He did stop once or twice,
+but it was only to scan the downs ahead, and at the sight
+of a fluttering skirt he showed no interest in anything
+else, but made a straight line for its owner. For her part,
+the lady seemed to await his coming. She gathered her
+countenance into an expression of as perfect unconcern
+as a little heightening of her colour would allow her, and
+returned his salute with rather a distant bow. But Mr
+Bunker was not to be damped by this hint of barbed wire.
+He held out his hand and exclaimed cordially, <span class="tei tei-q">“My dear
+Lady Alicia! this is charming of you!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course you understand, Mr Beveridge, it’s only&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perfectly,”</span> he interrupted, gaily; <span class="tei tei-q">“I understand
+everything I should and nothing I shouldn’t. In fact, I
+have altered little, except in the trifling matter of a beard,
+a moustache or two, and, by the way, a name.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A name?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am now Francis Bunker, but as much at your
+service as ever.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page132">[pg 132]</span><a name="Pg132" id="Pg132" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But why—I mean, have you really changed your
+name?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Circumstances have changed it, just as circumstances
+shaved me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia made a great endeavour to look haughty.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I do not quite understand, Mr&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bunker—a temporary title, but suggestive, and simple
+for the tradesmen.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I do not understand your conduct. Why have you
+changed your name?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This retort was so evidently unanswerable that Lady
+Alicia changed her inquiry.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where have you been?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Till yesterday, in London.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then you didn’t go to your own parish?”</span> she demanded,
+reproachfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There were difficulties,”</span> he replied; <span class="tei tei-q">“in fact, a certified
+lunatic is not in great demand as a parish priest. They
+seem to prefer them uncertified.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But didn’t you try?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hard, but it was no use. The bishop was out of
+town, and I had to wait till his return; besides, my position
+was somewhat insecure. I have had at least two
+remarkable escapes since I saw you last.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Are you safe here?”</span> she asked, hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With your consent, yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She looked a little troubled. <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t know that I am
+doing right, Mr Bev—Bunker, but&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank you, my friend,”</span> he interrupted, tenderly.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page133">[pg 133]</span><a name="Pg133" id="Pg133" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t,”</span> she began, hastily. <span class="tei tei-q">“You mustn’t talk
+like&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Francis Beveridge?”</span> he interrupted. <span class="tei tei-q">“The trouble
+is, this rascal Bunker bears an unconscionably awkward
+resemblance to our old friend.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must see that it is quite—ridiculous.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Absurd,”</span> he agreed,—<span class="tei tei-q">“perfectly preposterous. I
+laugh whenever I think of it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Poor Lady Alicia felt like a man at a telephone who
+has been connected with the wrong person. Again she
+made a desperate shift to fall back on a becoming pride.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you mean?”</span> she demanded.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If I mean anything at all, which is always rather
+doubtful,”</span> he replied, candidly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I mean that Beveridge
+and his humbug were creatures of an occasion, just as
+Bunker and his are of another. The one occasion is
+passed, and with it the first entertaining gentleman has
+vanished into space. The second gentleman will doubtless
+follow when his time is up. In fact, I may be said
+to be a series of dissolving views.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then isn’t what you said true?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m afraid you must be more specific; you see I’ve
+talked so much.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What you said about yourself—and your work.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He shook his head humorously. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have no means of
+checking my statements.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She looked at him in a troubled way, and then her
+eyes fell.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“At least,”</span> she said, <span class="tei tei-q">“you won’t—you
+mustn’t treat me as—as you did.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page134">[pg 134]</span><a name="Pg134" id="Pg134" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As Beveridge did? Certainly not; Bunker is the
+soul of circumspection. Besides, he doesn’t require to
+get out of an asylum.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then it was only to get away?”</span> she cried, turning
+scarlet.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let us call it so,”</span> he replied, looking pensively out to
+sea.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It seemed wiser to Lady Alicia to change the subject.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who is the friend you are staying with?”</span> she asked,
+suddenly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My old friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,
+and your own most recent admirer,”</span> he replied. <span class="tei tei-q">“I am
+at present living with, in fact I may say upon, him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Does he know?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you meet him, you had perhaps better not inquire
+into my past history.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I meant, does he know about—about your knowing
+me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bless them!”</span> thought Mr Bunker; <span class="tei tei-q">“one forgets they’re
+not <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">always</span></span> thinking about us!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My noble friend has no idea that I have been so
+fortunate,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia looked relieved. <span class="tei tei-q">“Who is he?”</span> she
+asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A German nobleman of great wealth, long descent,
+and the most accommodating disposition. He is at
+present exploring England under my guidance, and I
+flatter myself that he has already seen and done a number
+of things that are not on most programmes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia was silent for a minute. Then she said
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page135">[pg 135]</span><a name="Pg135" id="Pg135" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+with a little hesitation, <span class="tei tei-q">“Didn’t you get a letter from
+me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A letter? No,”</span> he replied, in some surprise.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wrote twice—because you asked me to, and I
+thought—I wondered if you were safe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To what address did you write?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The address you gave me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And what was that?”</span> he asked, still evidently puzzled.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You said care of the Archbishop of York would find
+you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker abruptly looked the other way.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By Jove!”</span> he said, as if lost in speculation, <span class="tei tei-q">“I must
+find out what the matter was. I can’t imagine why they
+haven’t been forwarded.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia appeared a little dissatisfied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Was that
+a <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">real</span></span> address?”</span> she
+asked, suddenly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perfectly,”</span> he replied; <span class="tei tei-q">“as real as Pentonville Jail or
+the House of Commons.”</span> (<span class="tei tei-q">“And as likely to find me,”</span>
+he added to himself.)</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia seemed to hesitate whether to pursue the
+subject further, but in the middle of her debate Mr Bunker
+asked, <span class="tei tei-q">“By the way, has Lady Grillyer any recollection
+of having seen me before?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, she doesn’t remember you at all.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then we shall meet as strangers?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, I think it would be better; don’t you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It will save our imaginations certainly.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia looked at him as though she expected
+something more; but as nothing came, she said, <span class="tei tei-q">“I think
+it’s time I went back.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page136">[pg 136]</span><a name="Pg136" id="Pg136" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“For the present then <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">au
+revoir</span></span>, my dear Alicia. I
+beg your pardon, Lady Alicia; it was that rascal Beveridge
+who made the slip. It now remains to make your
+formal acquaintance.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You—you mustn’t try!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The deuce is in these people beginning with B!”</span>
+he laughed. <span class="tei tei-q">“They seem to do things without trying.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He pressed her hand, raised his hat, and started back
+to the town. She, on her part, lingered to let him get a
+clear start of her, and her blue eyes looked as though a
+breeze had blown across and ruffled them.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker had reached the esplanade, and was
+sauntering easily back towards the hotel, looking at the
+people and smiling now and then to himself, when he
+observed with considerable astonishment two familiar figures
+strolling towards him. They were none other than
+the Baron and the Countess, engaged in animated conversation,
+and apparently on the very best terms with each
+other. At the sight of him the Baron beamed joyfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Aha, Bonker, so you haf returned!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“In
+ze meanvile I haf had vun great good fortune. Let me
+present my friend Mr Bonker, ze Lady Grillyer.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess bowed most graciously, and raising a
+pair of tortoise-shell-rimmed eye-glasses mounted on a
+stem of the same material, looked at Mr Bunker through
+these with a by no means disapproving glance.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At first sight it was evident that Lady Alicia must
+<span class="tei tei-q">“take after”</span> her noble father. The Countess was
+aquiline of nose, large of person, and emphatic in her
+voice and manner.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page137">[pg 137]</span><a name="Pg137" id="Pg137" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are the <span class="tei tei-q">‘showman,’</span> Mr Bunker, are you not?”</span>
+she said, with a smile for which many of her acquaintances
+would have given a tolerable percentage of their
+incomes.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It seems,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, smiling back agreeably,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that the Baron is now the showman, and I must
+congratulate him on his first venture.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For an instant the Countess seemed a trifle taken aback.
+It was a considerable number of years since she had
+been addressed in precisely this strain, and in fact at
+no time had her admirers ventured quite so dashingly to
+the attack. But there was something entirely irresistible
+in Mr Bunker’s manner, partly perhaps because he never
+made the mistake of heeding a first rebuff. The Countess
+coughed, then smiled a little again, and said to the Baron,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“You didn’t tell me that your showman supplied the
+little speeches as well.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I could not know it; zere has not before been ze reason
+for a pretty speech,”</span> responded the Baron, gallantly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">If Lady Grillyer had been anybody else, one would
+have said that she actually giggled. Certainly a little
+wave of scandalised satisfaction rippled all over her.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, really!”</span> she cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t know which of you
+is the worst offender.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">All this time, as may be imagined, Mr Bunker had
+been in a state of high mystification at his friend’s unusual
+adroitness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“How the deuce did he get hold of her?”</span> he said to
+himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In the next pause the Baron solved the riddle.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page138">[pg 138]</span><a name="Pg138" id="Pg138" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You vil vunder, Bonker,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“how I did gom to
+know ze Lady Grillyer.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I envied, certainly,”</span> replied his friend, with a side
+glance at the now purring Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“She vas of my introdogtions, bot till after you vent
+out zis morning I did not lairn her name. Zen I said to
+myself, <span class="tei tei-q">‘Ze sun shines, Himmel is kind! Here now is ze
+fair Lady Grillyer—my introdogtion!’</span> and zo zat is how,
+you see.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To think of the Baron being here and our only finding
+each other out by chance!”</span> said the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By a fortunate providence for me!”</span> exclaimed the
+Baron, fervently.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Baron,”</span> said the Countess, trying hard to look severe,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“you must really keep some of these nice speeches for
+my daughter. Which reminds me, I wonder where she
+can be?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, here she goms!”</span> cried the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why, how did you know her?”</span> asked the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—I did see her last night at dinnair,”</span> explained the
+Baron, turning red.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, of course, I remember,”</span> replied the Countess,
+in a matter-of-fact tone; but her motherly eye was sharp,
+and already it began to look on the highly eligible Rudolph
+with more approval than ever.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My daughter Alicia, the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,
+Mr Bunker,”</span> she said the next moment.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron went nearly double as he bowed, and the
+flourish of his hat stirred the dust on the esplanade. Mr
+Bunker’s salutation was less profound, but his face expressed
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page139">[pg 139]</span><a name="Pg139" id="Pg139" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+an almost equal degree of interested respect.
+Her mother thought that when one of the gentlemen was
+a nobleman with an indefinite number of thousands
+a-year and the other a person of so much discrimination,
+Lady Alicia’s own bow might have been a trifle less
+reserved. But then even the most astute mother cannot
+know the reasons for everything.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0303" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc46" id="toc46"></a>
+<a name="pdf47" id="pdf47"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alicia,”</span> said the Countess, <span class="tei tei-q">“it was really a most
+fortunate coincidence our meeting the Baron at St Egbert’s.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her
+daughter. It was not the first time in the course of the
+morning that Lady Alicia had listened to similar observations,
+and perhaps that was why she answered somewhat
+listlessly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, wasn’t it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I consider him one of the most agreeable and best
+informed young men I have ever met.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is he?”</span> said Lady Alicia, absently.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder, Alicia, you hadn’t noticed it,”</span> her mother
+observed, severely; <span class="tei tei-q">“you talked with him most of the
+afternoon. I should have thought that no observant,
+well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with
+his air and conversation.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—I thought him very pleasant, mamma.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page140">[pg 140]</span><a name="Pg140" id="Pg140" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am glad you had so much sense. He
+is <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">extremely</span></span>
+pleasant.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged
+to continue his list of virtues herself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the
+oldest in Bavaria. I don’t remember what I heard his
+income was in pfennigs, or whatever they measure money
+by in Germany, but I know that it is more than £20,000
+a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays,”</span>
+she added, as if £20,000 had grown since she was a
+girl.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, mamma.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He is considered, besides, an unusually promising
+and intelligent young nobleman, and in Germany, where
+noblemen are still constantly used, that says a great deal
+for him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Does it, mamma?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that
+young Englishmen are beginning to know less than they
+ever did, and in most cases that isn’t saying much. Compare
+the Baron with the young men you meet here!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia
+could only reply, <span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, mamma?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Compare them and see the difference. Look at the
+Baron’s friend, Mr Bunker, who is a very agreeable and
+amusing man, I admit, but look at the difference!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What is it?”</span> Alicia could not help asking.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">What</span></span> is it, Alicia!
+It is—ah—it’s—er—it is, in
+short, the effect of a carefully cultivated mind and good
+blood.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page141">[pg 141]</span><a name="Pg141" id="Pg141" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But don’t you think Mr Bunker cultivated,
+mamma—and—and—well-bred?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He has an amusing way of saying things,—but then
+you must remember that the Baron is doubtless equally
+entertaining in his native language,—and possibly a
+superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions
+of the day; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour
+on the relations of something or other in Germany
+to—er—something else—a very important point,
+I assure you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I always thought him very clever,”</span> said Lady Alicia
+with a touch of warmth, and then instantly changed
+colour at the horrible slip.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You always,”</span> said the Countess in alarmed astonishment;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“you hardly spoke to him yesterday, and—had
+you met him before?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—I meant the Baron, mamma.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But I have just been saying that he
+was <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">unusually</span></span>
+clever.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered
+him only well informed.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia’s blushes and confusion deepened. Her
+mother looked at her with a softening eye. Suddenly
+she rose, kissed her affectionately, and said with the tenderness
+of triumph, <span class="tei tei-q">“My <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">dear</span></span> girl!
+Of course he is; clever, well informed, and a
+most <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">desirable</span></span> young man.
+My Alicia could not do&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little
+premature (though the Countess’s methods inclined to
+the summary and decisive), and again kissing her daughter
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page142">[pg 142]</span><a name="Pg142" id="Pg142" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+affectionately, remarked gaily, <span class="tei tei-q">“Let me see, why, it’s
+almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn’t
+really disappoint those young men. I am in the middle
+of such an amusing discussion with Mr Bunker, who is
+really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron’s
+judgment.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more
+relieved at her escape or dismayed at the construction put
+upon her explanation. She went out to meet the Baron,
+determined to give no further colour to her mother’s
+unlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced
+and determined a general to leave it at all
+doubtful who should walk by whose side, and who should
+have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but
+Lady Alicia was quite resolved that the Baron’s blandishments
+should fall on stony ground.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous
+companions. The Baron was so amiable and so
+gallant, that at the end of half an hour she was obliged
+to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should
+treat him with the friendliness of a brother. She learned
+that he had no sisters: her decision was confirmed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh
+heaven of happy loquacity. He poured out particulars
+of his travels, his more recordable adventures, his opinions
+on various social and political matters, and at last even
+of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership,
+and the glories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened
+with what he could not doubt was an interest touched
+with tenderness.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page143">[pg 143]</span><a name="Pg143" id="Pg143" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder,”</span> she said, artlessly, <span class="tei tei-q">“that you find anything
+to admire in England—compared with Bavaria,
+I mean.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Two zings I haf not zere,”</span> replied the Baron, waving
+his hand round towards the horizon. <span class="tei tei-q">“Vun is ze vet
+sheet of flowing sea—says not your poet so? Ze ozzer”</span>
+(laying his hand on his heart) <span class="tei tei-q">“is ze Lady Alicia à Fyre.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There are some people who catch sentiment whenever
+it happens to be in the air, just as others almost equally
+unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia’s reply was much softer than she intended,
+especially as she could have told anybody that the Baron’s
+compliment was the merest figure of speech.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You needn’t have included me: I’m
+sure <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I’m</span></span> not a
+great attraction.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none,”</span> the Baron smiled.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Didn’t you see anybody—I mean, anything in London
+that attracted you—that you liked?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted
+me; but not zat shall still attract me ven I am
+gone avay.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to
+reply, with the most sisterly kindness, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—we should,
+of course, like to think that you didn’t forget
+us <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">altogether</span></span>.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You need not fear.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more
+like a second cousin than a brother, and with sudden
+sprightliness she cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder where that steamer’s
+going!”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page144">[pg 144]</span><a name="Pg144" id="Pg144" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named
+attraction, but for a professed lover of the ocean his
+interest appeared slight. He only replied absently,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, zo?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the
+Countess. The attention of Lady Grillyer was divided
+between the agreeable conversation of her companion
+and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of
+pfennigs a-year bending its titled head over her daughter.
+In the middle of one of Mr Bunker’s most amusing
+stories she could not forbear interrupting with a complacent
+<span class="tei tei-q">“they <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">do</span></span> make a very
+handsome couple!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked
+critically from his friend’s gaily checked back to Lady
+Alicia’s trim figure.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker,”</span> said the
+Countess, hastily, realising that she had thought a little
+too loudly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They are like,”</span> responded Mr Bunker, replying to
+her first remark—<span class="tei tei-q">“they are like a pair of gloves.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess raised her brows and looked at him
+sharply.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I mean, of course, the best quality.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I think,”</span> said the Countess, suspiciously, <span class="tei tei-q">“that you
+spoke a little carelessly.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My simile was a little premature?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I think so,”</span> said the Countess, decisively.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let us call them then an odd pair,”</span> smiled Mr Bunker,
+unruffled; <span class="tei tei-q">“and only hope that they’ll turn out to be the
+same size and different hands.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page145">[pg 145]</span><a name="Pg145" id="Pg145" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess actually condescended to smile back.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“She is a <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">dear</span></span>
+child,”</span> she murmured.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“His income, I think, is sufficient,”</span> he answered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family.
+The Countess replied seriously, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am one of those out-of-date
+people, Mr Bunker, who consider some things
+come before money, but the Baron’s birth and position
+are fortunately unimpeachable.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“While his mental qualities,”</span> said Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“are,
+in my experience, almost unique.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr
+Bunker’s discrimination.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Late that night, after they had parted with their friends,
+the Baron smoked in the most unwonted silence while
+Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa. Several times Rudolph
+threw restive glances at his friend, as if he had something
+on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden
+himself of. At last the silence grew so intolerable that
+he screwed up his courage and with desperate resolution
+exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker, I am in loff!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have also been in love,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are not now?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alas! no.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vy alas?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Because follies <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">without</span></span>
+illusions get so infernally dull, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron smiled a little foolishly.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page146">[pg 146]</span><a name="Pg146" id="Pg146" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I haf ze illusions, I fear.”</span> Then he broke out
+enthusiastically, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, bot is she not lofly, Bonker?
+If she will bot lof me back I shall be ze happiest man
+out of heaven!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have wasted no time, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are quite sure it is really love this time?”</span> his
+friend pursued.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Qvite!”</span> said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There are so many imitations.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not so close zat zey can deceive!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> laughed Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“These first
+symptoms are common to them all, and yet the varieties
+of the disease are almost beyond counting. I myself
+have suffered from it in eight different forms. There
+was the virulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as
+calf-love; there was the kind that accompanied itself by
+a course of the Restoration dramatists; another form I
+may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided
+into at least two; then there was&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Schtop! schtop!”</span> cried the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!
+Zat will do! Teufel! I most examine my heart strictly.
+And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzer kind—ze
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">real!</span></span>”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way.
+Anything I can do to make you worse shall be done.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zanks, my best of friends,”</span> said the Baron, warmly,
+seizing his hand; <span class="tei tei-q">“I knew you would stand by me!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure,
+replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“My dear fellow, I’d do anything to oblige
+a friend in such an interesting condition.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0304" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page147">[pg 147]</span><a name="Pg147" id="Pg147" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc48" id="toc48"></a>
+<a name="pdf49" id="pdf49"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron was a few minutes late in joining the party
+at lunch, and when he appeared he held an open letter
+in his hand. It was only the middle of the next day,
+and yet he could have sworn that last night he was comparatively
+whole-hearted, he felt so very much more in
+love already.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yet anozzer introdogtion has found me out,”</span> he said
+as he took his seat. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have here a letter of invitation
+vich I do not zink I shall accept.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He threw an amorous glance at Lady Alicia, which
+her watchful mother rightly interpreted as indicating
+the cause of his intended refusal.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who is it this time?”</span> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sir Richard Brierley of Brierley Park, Dampshire.
+Is zat how you pronounce it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sir Richard Brierley!”</span> exclaimed the Countess;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“why, Alicia and I are going to visit some relatives of
+ours who live only six miles from Brierley Park! When
+has he asked you, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze end of next week.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“How odd! We are going down to Dampshire at the
+end of next week too. You must accept, Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall!”</span> exclaimed the overjoyed Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Shall
+ve go, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m not asked, I’m afraid.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page148">[pg 148]</span><a name="Pg148" id="Pg148" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As you please, Baron,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, with a
+half glance at Lady Alicia.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the
+inevitable hour of separation, and this piece of good
+fortune put him into the highest spirits. He felt so amiable
+towards the whole world that when the four went out
+for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by
+Lady Grillyer’s side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and
+Lady Alicia were out of hail ahead. The Baron’s face
+fell.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Shall I come down to this place?”</span> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Would you like to?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should be sorry,”</span> he replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“to part with—the
+Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending
+to this sentence, and so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had
+intended.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, if you can’t stay away from the Baron, you had
+better go.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so
+charming a person as the Baron; perhaps you can feel
+for me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I think he is very—nice.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He thinks you very nice.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Does he?”</span> said Lady Alicia, with great indifference,
+and a moment later changed the subject.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of
+course it was quite natural that Mr Bunker should find
+it pleasant to walk for a few minutes by the side of the
+fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was artfully
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page149">[pg 149]</span><a name="Pg149" id="Pg149" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+pleading his friend’s cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy.
+He remembered Mr Bunker’s invariable success with
+the gentler sex, his wit, his happy smile, and his good
+looks; and he began to wish most sincerely that these
+fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat
+breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair
+in front had both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?”</span> she suggested;
+and Lady Grillyer’s suggestions were of the kind that are
+evidently meant to be acted upon.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, I did forged,”</span> said the Baron, absently, and
+without further remark he slackened his pace for a few
+yards and then was off again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You were telling me,”</span> gasped the Countess, <span class="tei tei-q">“of something
+you thought of—doing when—you went—home.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zo? Oh yes, it vas—Teufel! I do not remember.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Really, Baron,”</span> said the Countess, decidedly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+cannot go any farther at this rate. Let us turn. The
+others will be turning too, in a minute.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer’s
+maternal instincts off their feet, and he suffered
+for it by seeing nothing of either his friend or his charmer
+for an hour and a half.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That night he accepted Sir Richard’s invitation, but
+said nothing whatever about bringing a friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of
+mind as there were hours in each day. He walked and
+rode and drove with Lady Alicia through the most romantic
+spots he could find. He purchased a large assortment
+of golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page150">[pg 150]</span><a name="Pg150" id="Pg150" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+that most dangerous of games for mixed couples. In
+turn he broke every club in his set; the cavities he hewed
+in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but the
+heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to
+damage. There was always a moment at which his
+courage failed him, and in that fatal pause she invariably
+changed the subject with the most innocent air in the
+world.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy
+would seize him. Why did she elect to disappear with
+Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had resolved
+should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same
+resolution every morning, but on this particular one
+he had no doubt he would have put his fate to the touch.
+And why on a certain moonlight evening was he left to
+the unsentimental company of the Countess?</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley
+Park; in fact he shunned discussion of any kind with
+his quondam bosom friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert’s was
+almost at an end. On the day after to-morrow all four
+were going to leave (where Mr Bunker was going, his
+friend never troubled to inquire).</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron’s
+room. That very afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more
+time in Mr Bunker’s society than in his, and the Baron
+felt that the hour had come for an explanation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bonker, I haf a suspection!”</span> he exclaimed, suddenly.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“It is not I, bot you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful
+Lady Alicia. You are not doing me fair!”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page151">[pg 151]</span><a name="Pg151" id="Pg151" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is so: you are not doing me fair,”</span> the Baron reiterated.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear fellow,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“it is you are
+so much in love that you have lost your wonted courage.
+You don’t use your chances.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I do not get zem.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Nonsense, Baron! I haven’t spent one hour in Lady
+Alicia’s company to your twenty-four, and yet if I’d
+been matrimonially inclined I could have proposed twice
+over. You’ve had the chance of being accepted fifty
+times.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I haf not been accepted vunce,”</span> said the Baron,
+moodily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have you put the question?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I haf not dared.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron was silent.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ask her to-morrow.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, Bonker,”</span> said the Baron, sadly; <span class="tei tei-q">“she treats me
+not like a lover. She talks of friendship. I do not vish
+a frient!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“You don’t think you have touched her heart?”</span> he
+asked at length.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I fear not.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must try an infallible recipe for winning a
+woman’s heart. You must be in trouble.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In trouble!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have tried it once myself, with great success.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page152">[pg 152]</span><a name="Pg152" id="Pg152" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot how?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must fall ill.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker smiled artfully. <span class="tei tei-q">“They come to tea in
+our rooms to-morrow, you know. By then, Baron, you
+must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please. A grain
+of Lady Alicia’s sympathy is worth more than a ton of
+even your wit.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit
+escaped the Baron, the scheme delighted him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, Bonker! schön! I tvig! Goot!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“How
+shall ve do?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Leave it to me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron reflected, and his smile died away.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sopposing,”</span> he said, slowly, <span class="tei tei-q">“zey find out? Is it
+vise? Is it straight?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They can’t find out. They go the next morning,
+and what’s to prevent your making a quick recovery and
+pluckily going down to Brierley Park as the interesting
+convalescent? She will know that you’ve made a dangerous
+journey on her account.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron’s face cleared again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let us try!”</span> he said; <span class="tei tei-q">“anyzing is better zan my present
+state. Bot, be careful, Bonker!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall take the most minute precautions,”</span> replied
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0305" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page153">[pg 153]</span><a name="Pg153" id="Pg153" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc50" id="toc50"></a>
+<a name="pdf51" id="pdf51"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted
+early. The Baron seemed a little nervous now that it
+came so near the venture, but his friend was as cheerful
+as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage
+into Rudolph.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker’s bedroom opened out of their common
+sitting-room, and so he declared that in the afternoon
+the Baron must be laid up there.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Keep your room all morning,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“and look as
+pale as you can. I shall make my room ready for you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a
+chair and gazed for a few minutes round his bedroom.
+Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant to make the
+bed immediately, and presently went out to do some
+shopping. On the way he sent word to the Countess,
+telling her only that the Baron was indisposed, but that
+in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should have the
+pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning
+he spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of
+the ladies’ way.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted
+upon getting up to eat, the Baron was allowed to enter
+the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of astonishment,—and
+indeed his surprise was natural. The room
+was as full of flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe,
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page154">[pg 154]</span><a name="Pg154" id="Pg154" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+and fireplace were most artistically draped with art
+hangings; a plate filled with grapes, a large bottle labelled
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Two table-spoonfuls every half hour,”</span> and a medicine-glass
+were placed conspicuously on a small table; and,
+most remarkable feature of all, Mr Bunker’s bath filled
+with water and alive with goldfish stood by the side of
+the bed. A couple of canaries sang in a cage by the
+window, the half-drawn curtains only permitted the most
+delicate light to steal into the room, and in short the
+whole arrangement reflected the utmost credit on his
+ingenious friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To show your love of nature.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vy so?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There is nothing that pleases a woman more.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My friend, you zink of everyzing!”</span> exclaimed the
+Baron, admiringly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When four o’clock approached he drew a night-shirt
+over his other garments and got into bed. Mr Bunker
+at first was in favour of a complete change of attire, but
+on his friend’s expostulating against such a thorough
+precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather
+like the historic blacking of Othello.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Leave it all to me, my dear Baron,”</span> he said, reassuringly,
+as he tucked him in; and with that he went into
+the other room and awaited the arrival of their guests.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They came punctually. The Countess was full of
+concern for the <span class="tei tei-q">“dear Baron,”</span> while Lady Alicia, he
+could not help thinking, appeared unusually reserved.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page155">[pg 155]</span><a name="Pg155" id="Pg155" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+In fact, his quick eye soon divined that something was
+the matter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager
+or has found something
+out<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E4" id="E4" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e4" class="tei tei-ref">,</a></span>”</span>
+he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">However, it seemed that if she had found anything
+out it could have nothing to do with the Baron’s indisposition,
+for she displayed the most ingenuous sympathy,
+and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly at
+himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So sudden!”</span> exclaimed the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is rather sudden, but we’ll hope it may pass as
+quickly as it came,”</span> said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful
+impression of deep concern veiled by a cheerful manner.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?”</span>
+demanded the countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and
+replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, dear, no! that is—at present, Lady Grillyer,
+we have really no reason to be alarmed.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">so</span></span> sorry,”</span>
+murmured Lady Alicia.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Her mother looked at her approvingly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Poor Baron!”</span> she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So far from home!”</span> sighed Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“And yet
+so cheerful through it all,”</span> he added.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What did you say was the matter?”</span> asked the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective
+to maintain a little mystery round his friend’s malady.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The doctor hasn’t yet given a decided opinion,”</span> he
+replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can’t we do anything?”</span> said Lady Alicia, softly.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page156">[pg 156]</span><a name="Pg156" id="Pg156" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up
+to the proper pitch of sympathy.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Poor Rudolph!”</span> he exclaimed. <span class="tei tei-q">“It would cheer
+him immensely, I know, and ease my own anxiety as
+well, if you would venture in to see him for a few minutes.
+In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a
+woman’s.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered
+for an instant between those proprieties for which she
+was a famous stickler and this admirable chance of completing
+the Baron’s conquest.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“His relations are far away,”</span> said Mr Bunker, looking
+pensively out of the window.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?”</span> suggested
+Lady Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, mamma,”</span> replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity
+that rather surprised their host.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies
+into the darkened sick-room. The Baron, striving to
+conceal his exultation under a rueful semblance, greeted
+them with a languid yet happy smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you,
+Lady Alicia, how can I zank you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to
+find our host <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">hors de
+combat</span></span>,”</span> said the Countess, graciously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Just when you wanted to go away too!”</span> added Lady
+Alicia, sympathetically.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Alas!”</span> he replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“it is hard indeed.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page157">[pg 157]</span><a name="Pg157" id="Pg157" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must hurry up and get better,”</span> said the Countess,
+in her most cheering sick-room manner. <span class="tei tei-q">“It won’t do
+to disappoint the Brierleys, you know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must come down for <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">part</span></span>
+of the time,”</span> smiled her daughter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron
+that he placed his hand on his brow and turned slightly
+away to conceal his emotion. At the same time Mr
+Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily
+into a chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his
+own face in his hand.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions,
+and looked from one to the other with great concern.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dear me!”</span> said the Countess, <span class="tei tei-q">“surely it isn’t so very
+serious, Mr Bunker; it isn’t
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">infectious</span></span>, is it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without
+waiting for his more diplomatic friend to reply, he
+answered hastily, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, no, it is bot a cold.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Grillyer’s expression changed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A cold!”</span> she said. <span class="tei tei-q">“Dear me, that can’t be so very
+serious, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is a bad cold,”</span> said the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By this time the ladies’ eyes were growing more used
+to the dim light, and Mr Bunker could see that they
+were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture,”</span> said the
+Countess, examining the bottle.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron incautiously admitted it was.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!”</span> she exclaimed;
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page158">[pg 158]</span><a name="Pg158" id="Pg158" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<span class="tei tei-q">“why, I never heard of taking a cough-mixture in such
+doses. Besides, your cough doesn’t seem so very bad,
+Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze doctor told me to take it so,”</span> replied the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said,
+with a touch of suspicion in her voice, <span class="tei tei-q">“I thought, Mr
+Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In the Baron’s desire to spare your feelings,”</span> replied
+Mr Bunker, gravely, <span class="tei tei-q">“he has been a little inaccurate;
+that is not precisely an ordinary cough-mixture.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh,”</span> said the Countess.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Lady Alicia’s attention had been strongly attracted
+by the bath, and suddenly she exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Why, there
+are goldfish in it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron’s nerve was fast deserting him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze doctor ordered zem,”</span> he began—<span class="tei tei-q">“I mean, I am
+fond of fishes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man,
+and then turned severely to his friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">What</span></span> is the matter
+with the Baron?”</span> she demanded.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic
+measures.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The dog was destroyed at once,”</span> he replied, with
+intense gravity. <span class="tei tei-q">“It is therefore impossible to say exactly
+what is the matter.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">The dog!</span></span>”</span> cried
+the two ladies together.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By this evening,”</span> he continued, <span class="tei tei-q">“we shall know the
+worst—or the best.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page159">[pg 159]</span><a name="Pg159" id="Pg159" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you mean?”</span> exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing
+a step from the bed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I mean,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“that this bath is a delicate test. No victim of the
+dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to look&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even
+as he was speaking the Baron’s face had passed through
+a series of the most extraordinary expressions, which she
+not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s beginning already!”</span> she shrieked. <span class="tei tei-q">“Alicia, my
+love, come quickly. How dare you expose us, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Calm yourselves. I assure you&mdash;&mdash;”</span> pleaded Mr
+Bunker, coming hastily after them, but they were at the
+door before him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“No, no, it is false!”</span> he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a
+tweed suit only half concealed by his night-shirt, and,
+forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great
+splash among the startled goldfish.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Countess paused in the half-opened door and
+looked at him with horror that rapidly passed into intense
+indignation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am not ill!”</span> he cried. <span class="tei tei-q">“It vos zat rascal Bonker’s
+plot. He made me! I haf not hydrophobia!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into
+hysterical giggles. For a moment her mother glared
+at the two young men in silence, and then only remarking,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I have never been so insulted before,”</span> she went
+out, and her daughter followed her.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page160">[pg 160]</span><a name="Pg160" id="Pg160" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+roar of laughter, but the humorous side of the situation
+seemed to appeal very slightly to his injured friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You rascal! you villain!”</span> he shouted, <span class="tei tei-q">“zis is ze end
+of our friendship, Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell
+me, sare!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron,”</span> gasped Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“I could not
+put such an inartistic end to so fine a joke for the
+world.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not
+ze English name bad enoff for you!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and
+replied, still smiling: <span class="tei tei-q">“After all, Baron, what harm has
+been done? I get all the blame, and the sympathy you
+wanted is sure to turn to you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“False friend!”</span> thundered the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron!”</span> said Mr Bunker, mildly, <span class="tei tei-q">“whose
+fault was it that the plot miscarried? If you’d only left
+it all to me&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor,
+it vas a trick to vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak
+to me nevermore!”</span> And with that the infuriated nobleman
+rushed off to his own room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As there was no further sign of him for the next half
+hour, Mr Bunker, still smiling to himself at the recollection,
+went out to take the air; but just as he was about to
+descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia lingering in a
+passage. He turned back and went up to her.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed
+to have a strain of anger running beneath it.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-day
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page161">[pg 161]</span><a name="Pg161" id="Pg161" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+through the dead-letter office. Nothing was known
+about you at the address you gave.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am not surprised,”</span> he replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then it was false?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn’t
+happen to be mine.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Were you <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">ever</span></span> in the Church?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not to my personal knowledge.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yet you said you were?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I was in an asylum.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he
+smiled back at her with great amusement.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have deceived <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">me</span></span>,”</span>
+she said, <span class="tei tei-q">“and you have treated your other friend—who
+is far too good for you—disgracefully.
+Have you anything to say for yourself?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not a word,”</span> he replied, cheerfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">never</span></span> treat
+me again as—as I let you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As a smile played for an instant about his face, she
+added quickly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">suppose</span></span> I shall ever see you
+again. In future we are not
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">likely</span></span> to meet.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The lady and the lunatic?”</span> said he. <span class="tei tei-q">“Well, perhaps
+not. Good-bye, and better luck.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good-bye,”</span> she answered coldly, and added as they
+parted, <span class="tei tei-q">“my mother, of course, is extremely angry with
+you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There,”</span> he said with a smile, <span class="tei tei-q">“you see I still come in
+useful.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly
+downstairs and out of the hotel.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page162">[pg 162]</span><a name="Pg162" id="Pg162" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It seems to me,”</span> he reflected, <span class="tei tei-q">“that I shall have to
+set out on my adventures again alone.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0306" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc52" id="toc52"></a>
+<a name="pdf53" id="pdf53"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron’s natural good temper might have forgiven
+his friend, but all night he was a prey to something against
+which no temper is proof. The Baron was bitterly jealous.
+All through breakfast he never spoke a word, and when
+Mr Bunker asked him what train he intended to take,
+he replied curtly, as he went to the door, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ze 5.30.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And where do you go now?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat is zat to you? I go for a valk. I vould be
+alone.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good-bye, then, Baron,”</span> said Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“I think
+I shall go up to town.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Go, zen,”</span> replied the Baron, opening the door; <span class="tei tei-q">“I haf
+no furzer vish to see a treacherous
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">sponge</span></span> zat vill neizer
+be true nor fight, bot jost takes money.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He slammed the door and went out. If he had waited
+for a moment, he would have seen a look in Mr Bunker’s
+face that he had never seen before. He half started
+from his chair to follow, and then sat down again and
+thought with his lips very tight set.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">All at once they broke into a smile that was grimmer
+than anything the Baron had known.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I accept your challenge, Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,”</span>
+he said to himself; <span class="tei tei-q">“but the weapons I shall choose
+myself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He took a telegraph form, wrote and despatched a
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page163">[pg 163]</span><a name="Pg163" id="Pg163" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+wire, and then with considerable haste proceeded to
+pack. Within an hour he had left the hotel.</p>
+
+<div class="tei tei-tb">* * * * * </div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When a servant, later in the day, was performing,
+under the Baron’s directions, the same office for him,
+a series of discoveries that still further disturbed his
+peace of mind were jointly made. Not only the more
+sporting portions of his wardrobe but his gun and cartridges
+as well, had vanished, and, search and storm as
+he liked, there was not a trace of them to be found.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze rascal!”</span> he muttered; <span class="tei tei-q">“I did not zink he was zief
+as well.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It is hardly wonderful that he arrived at Brierley
+station in anything but an amiable frame of mind. There,
+to his great annoyance and surprise, he found no signs
+of Sir Richard’s carriage; there were no stables near,
+and, after fuming for some time on the platform, he
+was forced to leave his luggage with the station-master
+and proceed on foot to Brierley Park.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He arrived shortly before seven o’clock, after a dark
+and muddy tramp, and, still swearing under his breath,
+pulled the bell with indignant energy.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am ze Baron von Blitzenberg, bot zere vas no carriage
+at ze station,”</span> he informed the butler in his haughtiest
+tones.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The man looked at him suspiciously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The Baron arrived this morning,”</span> he said.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze Baron? Vat Baron? I am ze Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall fetch Sir Richard,”</span> said the butler, turning
+away.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page164">[pg 164]</span><a name="Pg164" id="Pg164" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Presently a stout florid gentleman, accompanied by
+three friends, all evidently very curious and amused
+about something, came to the door, and, to the poor
+Baron’s amazement and horror, he recognised in one of
+these none other than Mr Bunker, arrayed with much
+splendour in his own ornate shooting suit.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you want?”</span> asked the florid gentleman,
+sternly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have I ze pleasure of addressing Sir Richard Brierley?”</span>
+inquired the Baron, raising his hat and bowing
+profoundly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zen I must tell you zat I am ze Baron Rudolph von
+Blitzenberg.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Gom, gom, my man!”</span> interposed Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+know you. Zis man, Sir Richard, has before annoyed
+me. He is vat you call impostor, cracked; he has vollowed
+me from Germany. Go avay, man!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are impostor! You scoundrel, Bonker!”</span> shouted
+the wrathful Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“He is no Baron, Sir Richard!
+Ha! Vould you again deceive me, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must lock him up, I fear,”</span> said Mr Bunker.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“To-morrow, my man, you vill see ze police.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">So completely did the Baron lose his head that he
+became almost inarticulate with rage: his protestations,
+however, were not of the slightest avail. That morning
+Sir Richard had received a wire informing him that the
+Baron was coming by an earlier train than he had originally
+intended, and, since his arrival, the spurious nobleman
+had so ingratiated himself with his host that Sir
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page165">[pg 165]</span><a name="Pg165" id="Pg165" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+Richard was filled with nothing but sympathy for him
+in his persecution. After a desperate struggle the unfortunate
+Rudolph was overpowered and conveyed in
+the undignified fashion known as the frog’s march to a
+room in a remote wing, there to pass the night under
+lock and key.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The scoundrelly German impostor!”</span> exclaimed a
+young man, a fellow visitor of the Baron Bunker’s, to a
+tall, military-looking gentleman.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Colonel Savage seemed lost in thought.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is a curious thing, Trelawney,”</span> he replied, at
+length, <span class="tei tei-q">“that the footman who attends the Baron should
+have told my man—who, of course, told me—that a number
+of his things are marked <span class="tei tei-q">‘Francis Beveridge.’</span> It is
+also rather strange that this impostor should have known
+so little of the Baron’s movements as to arrive several
+hours after him, assuming he had hatched a plot to impersonate
+him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But the man’s obviously mad.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Must be,”</span> said the colonel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The house party were assembled in the drawing-room
+waiting for dinner to be announced. The bogus Baron
+was engaged in an animated discussion with Colonel
+Savage on the subject of Bavarian shootings, and the
+colonel having omitted to inform him that he had some
+personal experience of these, Mr Bunker was serving
+up such of his friend’s anecdotes as he could remember
+with sauce more peculiarly his own.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Five hondred vild boars,”</span> he was saying, <span class="tei tei-q">“eight
+hondred brace of partridges, many bears, and rabbits so
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page166">[pg 166]</span><a name="Pg166" id="Pg166" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+moch zat it took five veeks to bury zem. All zese ve did
+shoot before breakfast, colonel. Aftair breakfast again
+ve did go out&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But at that moment his attention was sharply arrested
+by a question of Lady Brierley’s.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Has Dr Escott arrived?”</span> she asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron Bunker paused, and in spite of his habitual
+coolness, the observant colonel noticed that he started
+ever so slightly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He came half an hour ago,”</span> replied Sir Richard.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Ah, here he is.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As he spoke, a well-remembered figure came into the
+room, and after a welcome from his hostess, the dinner
+procession started.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Whoever is that tall fair man in front?”</span> Dr Escott
+asked his partner as they crossed the hall.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, that’s the Baron von Blitzenberg: such an amusing
+man! We are all in love with him already.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">All through dinner the spurious Baron saw that Dr
+Escott’s eyes turned continually and curiously on him;
+yet never for an instant did his spirits droop or his conversation
+flag. Witty and charming as ever, he discoursed
+in his comical foreign accent to the amusement
+of all within hearing, and by the time the gentlemen
+adjourned to the billiard-room, he had established the
+reputation of being the most delightful German ever
+seen. Yet Dr Escott grew more suspicious and bewildered,
+and Mr Bunker felt that he was being narrowly
+watched. The skill at billiards of a certain Francis
+Beveridge used to be the object of the doctor’s unbounded
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page167">[pg 167]</span><a name="Pg167" id="Pg167" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+admiration, and it was with the liveliest interest that he
+watched a game between Colonel Savage and the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That nobleman knew well the danger of displaying
+his old dexterity, and to the onlookers it soon became
+apparent that this branch of his education had been
+neglected. He not only missed the simplest shots, but
+seemed very ignorant of the rules of the English game,
+and in consequence he came in for a little good-natured
+chaff from Sir Richard and Trelawney. When the
+colonel’s score stood at 90 and the Baron had scarcely
+reached 25 Trelawney cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll bet you ten to one you
+don’t win, Baron!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What in?”</span> asked the Baron, and the colonel noticed
+that for the first time be pronounced a
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">w</span></span> correctly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sovereigns,”</span> said Trelawney, gaily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The temptation was irresistible.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Done!”</span> said the Baron. With a professional disregard
+for conventions he bolted the white into the middle
+pocket, leaving his own ball nicely beside the red. Down
+in its turn went the red, and Mr Bunker was on the spot.
+Three followed three in monotonous succession, Trelawney’s
+face growing longer and Dr Escott getting more
+and more excited, till with a smile Mr Bunker laid down
+his cue, a sensational winner.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His victory was received in silence: Trelawney handed
+over two five-pound notes without a word, and the colonel
+returned to his whisky-and-soda. Dr Escott could contain
+himself no longer, and whispering something to Sir
+Richard, the two left the room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Imperturbable as ever, Mr Bunker talked gaily for a
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page168">[pg 168]</span><a name="Pg168" id="Pg168" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+few minutes to an unresponsive audience, and then,
+remarking that he would join the ladies, left the room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A minute or two later Sir Richard, with an anxious
+face, returned with Dr Escott.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where is the Baron?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Gone to join the ladies,”</span> replied Trelawney, adding
+under his breath, <span class="tei tei-q">“d&mdash;&mdash; n him!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But the Baron was not with the ladies, nor, search the
+house as they might, was there a trace to be seen of that
+accomplished nobleman.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He has gone!”</span> said Sir Richard.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What the deuce is the meaning of it?”</span> exclaimed
+Trelawney.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Colonel Savage smiled grimly and suggested, <span class="tei tei-q">“Perhaps
+he wants to give the impostor an innings.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dr Escott, I think, can tell you,”</span> replied the baronet.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Gentlemen,”</span> said the doctor, <span class="tei tei-q">“the man whom you
+have met as the Baron von Blitzenberg is none other
+than a most cunning and determined lunatic. He escaped
+from the asylum where I am at present assistant doctor,
+after all but murdering me; he has been seen in London
+since, but how he came to impersonate the unfortunate
+gentleman whom you locked up this afternoon I cannot
+say.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Before they broke up for the night the genuine Baron,
+released from confinement and soothed by the humblest
+apologies and a heavy supper, recounted the main events
+in Mr Beveridge <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">alias</span></span>
+Bunker’s brief career in town.
+On his exploits in St Egbert’s he felt some delicacy in
+touching, but at the end of what was after all only a
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page169">[pg 169]</span><a name="Pg169" id="Pg169" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+fragmentary and one-sided narrative, even the defrauded
+Trelawney could not but admit that, whatever the departed
+gentleman’s failings, his talents at least were
+worthy of a better cause.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0307" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc54" id="toc54"></a>
+<a name="pdf55" id="pdf55"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The party at Brierley Park had gone at last to bed.
+The Baron was installed in his late usurper’s room, and
+from the clock-tower the hour of three had just been
+tolled. Sympathy and Sir Richard’s cellar had greatly
+mollified the Baron’s wrath; he had almost begun to see
+the humorous side of his late experience; as a rival Mr
+Bunker was extinct, and with an easy mind and a placid
+smile he had fallen asleep some two hours past.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The fire burned low, and for long nothing but the
+occasional sigh of the wind in the trees disturbed the
+silence. At length, had the Baron been awake, he might
+have heard the stealthiest of footsteps in the corridor
+outside. Then they stopped; his door was gently opened,
+and first a head and then a whole man slipped in.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Still the Baron slept, dreaming peacefully of his late
+companion. They were driving somewhere in a hansom,
+Mr Bunker was telling one of his most amusing stories,
+when there came a shock, the hansom seemed to turn a
+somersault, and the Baron awoke. At first he thought
+he must be dreaming still; the electric light had been
+turned on and the room was bright as day, but, more
+bewildering yet, Mr Bunker was seated on his bed, gazing
+at him with an expression of thoughtful amusement.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page170">[pg 170]</span><a name="Pg170" id="Pg170" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, Baron,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“I trust you are comfortable
+in these excellent quarters.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron, half awake and wholly astonished, was
+unable to collect his ideas in time to make any reply.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But remember,”</span> continued Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“you have
+a reputation to live up to. I have set the standard high
+for Bavarian barons.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The indignant Baron at last recovered his wits.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“If you do not go away <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">at
+vonce</span></span>,”</span> he said, raising himself
+on his elbows, <span class="tei tei-q">“I shall raise ze house upon you!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have you forgotten that you are talking to a dangerous
+lunatic, who probably never stirs without his razor?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron looked at him and turned a little pale. He
+made no further movement, but answered stoutly enough,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Vat do you vant?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In the first place, I want my brush and comb, a few
+clothes, and my hand-bag. Events happened rather more
+quickly this evening than I had anticipated.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Take zem.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should also like,”</span> continued Mr Bunker, unmoved,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“to have a little talk with you. I think I owe you some
+explanation—perhaps an apology or two—and I’m afraid
+it’s my last chance.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zay it zen.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Of course I understand that you make no hostile
+demonstration till I am finished? A hunted man must
+take precautions, you know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I vill let you go.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker folded his arms, leaned his back against
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page171">[pg 171]</span><a name="Pg171" id="Pg171" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+the foot of the bed, and began in his half-bantering way,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I have amused you, Baron, now and then, you must
+admit?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron made no reply.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That I place to my credit, and I think few debts are
+better worth repaying. On the other hand, I confess I
+have subsisted for some time entirely on your kindness.
+I’m afraid that alone counterbalances the debt, and
+when it comes to my being the means of your taking a
+bath in mixed company and spending an evening in a
+locked room, there’s no doubt the balance is greatly on
+your side.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I zink so,”</span> observed the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So I’ll tell you a true story, a favour with which I
+haven’t indulged any one for some considerable time.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron coughed, but said nothing.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My biography for all practical purposes,”</span> Mr Bunker
+continued, <span class="tei tei-q">“begins in that sequestered retreat, Clankwood
+Asylum. How and with whom I came there I
+haven’t the very faintest recollection. I simply woke up
+from an extraordinary drowsiness to find myself recovering
+from a sharp attack of what I may most euphoniously
+call mental excitement. The original cause of it is very
+dim in my mind, and has, so far as I remember, nothing
+to do with the rest of the story. The attack was very
+short, I believe. I soon came to something more or less
+like myself; only, Baron, the singular thing is, that it was
+to all intents and purposes a new self—whether better
+or worse, my faulty memory does not permit me to say.
+I’d clean forgotten who I was and all about me. I found
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page172">[pg 172]</span><a name="Pg172" id="Pg172" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+myself called Francis Beveridge, but that wasn’t my old
+name, I know.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha!”</span> exclaimed the Baron, growing interested despite
+himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And the most remarkable thing of all is that up till
+this day I haven’t the very vaguest notion what my real
+name is.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zo?”</span> said the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Bot vy should they change it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There you’ve laid your finger on the mystery, Baron.
+Why? Heaven knows: I wish I did!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron looked at him with undisguised interest.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Strange!”</span> he said, thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Damnably strange. I found myself compelled to
+live in an asylum and answer to a new name, and really,
+don’t you know, under the circumstances I could give no
+very valid reason for getting out. I seemed to have
+blossomed there like one of the asylum plants. I couldn’t
+possibly have been more identified with the place. Besides,
+I’m free to confess that for some time my reason,
+taking it all in all, wasn’t particularly valid on any point.
+By George, I had a funny time! Ha, ha, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His mirth was so infectious that the Baron raised his
+voice in a hearty <span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha!”</span> and then stopped abruptly,
+and said cautiously, <span class="tei tei-q">“Haf a care, Bonker, zey may hear!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“However, Baron,”</span> Mr Bunker continued, <span class="tei tei-q">“out I
+was determined to get, and out I came in the manner
+of which perhaps my friend Escott has already informed
+you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron grinned and nodded.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I came up to town, and on my very first evening I
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page173">[pg 173]</span><a name="Pg173" id="Pg173" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+had the good fortune to meet the Baron Rudolph von
+Blitzenberg—as perhaps you may remember. In my
+own defence, Baron, I may fairly plead that since I could
+remember nothing about my past career, I was entitled
+to supply the details from my imagination. After all,
+I have no proof that some of my stories may not have
+been correct. I used this privilege freely in Clankwood,
+and, in a word, since I couldn’t tell the truth if I wanted
+to, I quenched the desire.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You hombog!”</span> said the Baron, not without a note of
+admiration.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I was, and I gloried in it. Baron, if you ever want to
+know how ample a thing life can be, become a certified
+lunatic! You are quite irresponsible for your debts,
+your crimes, and, not least, your words. It certainly
+enlarges one’s horizon. All this time, I may say, I was
+racking my brains—which, by the way, have been steadily
+growing saner in other matters—for some recollections
+of my previous whereabouts, my career, if I had any,
+and, above all, of my name.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Can you remember nozing?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I can remember a large country house which I think
+belonged to me, but in what part of the country it stands
+I haven’t the slightest recollection. I can’t remember
+any family, and as no one has inquired for me, I don’t
+suppose I had any. Many incidents—sporting, festive,
+amusing, and discreditable—I remember distinctly, and
+many faces, but there’s nothing to piece them together
+with. Can you recall one or two incidents in town,
+when people spoke to me or bowed to me?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page174">[pg 174]</span><a name="Pg174" id="Pg174" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, vell; I vondered zen.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I suppose they knew me. In a general sort of way I
+knew them. But when a man doesn’t know his own
+name, and will probably be replaced in an asylum if he’s
+identified, there isn’t much encouragement for greeting
+old friends. And do you remember my search for a
+name in the hotel at St Egbert’s?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yah—zat is, yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It was for my own I was looking.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You found it not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No. The worst of it is, I can’t even remember what
+letter it began with. Sometimes I think it was M, or
+perhaps N, and sometimes I’m almost sure it was E. It
+will come to me some day, no doubt, Baron, but till it
+does I shall have to wander about a nameless man, looking
+for it. And after all, I am not without the consolations
+of a certain useful, workaday kind of philosophy.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He rose from the bed and smiled humorously at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now, Baron,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“it only remains to offer
+you such thanks and apologies as a lunatic may, and
+then clear out before the cock crows. These are my
+brushes, I think.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">There was still something on the Baron’s mind: he lay
+for a moment watching Mr Bunker collect a few odds
+and ends and put them rapidly into a small bag, and
+then blurted out suddenly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ze Lady Alicia—do you
+loff her?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By Jove!”</span> exclaimed Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’d forgotten all
+about her. I ought to have told you that I once met her
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page175">[pg 175]</span><a name="Pg175" id="Pg175" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+before, when she showed sympathy—practical sympathy,
+I may add—for an unfortunate gentleman in Clankwood.
+That’s all.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You do not loff her?”</span> persisted the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I, my dear chap? No. You are most welcome to
+her—<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">and</span></span> the countess.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Does she not loff you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“On my honour, no. I told her a few early reminiscences;
+she happened to discover they were not what is
+generally known as true, and took so absurd a view of
+the case that I doubt whether she would speak to me
+again if she met me. In fact, Baron, if I read the omens
+aright—and I’ve had some experience—you only need
+courage and a voice.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of
+the clothes as the Baron sprang out on to the floor, and
+the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in his embrace.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected,
+I haf not been ze true friend; you have sairved me right
+to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a Baron to gom!
+You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have
+varmed my heart. My dear frient!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To tell the truth, Mr Bunker looked, for the first time
+in their acquaintance, a little ill at ease. He laughed,
+but it sounded affected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear fellow—hang it! You’d make me out a
+martyr. As a matter of fact, I’ve been such a thorn as
+very few people would stand in their flesh. There’s
+nothing to forgive, my dear Baron, and a lot to thank
+you for.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page176">[pg 176]</span><a name="Pg176" id="Pg176" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I haf been rude, Bonker; I haf insulted you! You
+forgif me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With all my heart, if you think it’s needed, but&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And you vill not go now? You vill stay here?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What, two Barons at once? My dear chap, we’d
+merely confuse the butler.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, you vill joke, you hombog! But you most
+stay!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And what about my friend, Dr Escott? No, Baron,
+it would only mean breakfast and the next train to Clankwood.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zey vill not take you ven you tell zem! I shall insist
+viz Sir Richard!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The law is the law, Baron, and I’m a certified lunatic.
+Here we must part till the weather clears; and mind, you
+mustn’t say a word about my coming to see you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron looked at him disconsolately.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You most really go, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Really, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And vere to?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“To London town again by the milk train.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And vat vill you do zere?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Look for my name.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Bot how?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker hesitated.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have a little clue,”</span> he said at last, <span class="tei tei-q">“only a thread,
+but I’ll try it for what it’s worth.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Haf you money enoff?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks to your generosity and my skill at billiards,
+yes, which reminds me that I must return poor Trelawney’s
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page177">[pg 177]</span><a name="Pg177" id="Pg177" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+ten pounds some day. At present, I can’t
+afford to be scrupulous. So, you see, I’m provided
+for.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Cigars at least, Bonker! You most smoke, my frient
+vizout a name!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron, night-shirted and barefooted as he was,
+dived into his portmanteau and produced a large box of
+cigars.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You like zese, Bonker. Zey are your own choice.
+Smoke zem and zink of me!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A few, Baron, would be a pleasant reminiscence,”</span>
+said his friend, with a smile, <span class="tei tei-q">“if you really insist.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All, Bonker,—I vill not keep vun! I can get more.
+No, you most take zem all!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker opened his bag and put in the box without
+a word.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You most write,”</span> said the Baron, <span class="tei tei-q">“tell me vere you
+are. I shall not tell any soul, bot ven I can, I shall gom
+up, and ve shall sup togezzer vunce more. Pairhaps ve
+may haf anozzer adventure, ha, ha!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron’s laugh was almost too hearty to be true.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall let you know, as soon as I find a room. It
+won’t be in the Mayonaise this time! Good-bye: good
+sport and luck in love!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Good-bye, my frient, good-bye,”</span> said the Baron,
+squeezing his hand.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His friend was half out of the door when he turned,
+and said with an intonation quite foreign either to Beveridge
+or Bunker, and yet which came very pleasantly,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I forgot to warn you of one thing when I advised you
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page178">[pg 178]</span><a name="Pg178" id="Pg178" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+to try the <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">rôle</span></span> of
+certified lunatic—you are not likely to
+make so good a friend as I have.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He shut the door noiselessly and was gone.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron stood in the middle of the floor for fully
+five minutes, looking blankly at the closed door; then
+with a sigh he turned out the light and tumbled into bed
+again.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="page" /><div id="LL0400" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page179">[pg 179]</span><a name="Pg179" id="Pg179" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc56" id="toc56"></a>
+<a name="pdf57" id="pdf57"></a>
+<h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">PART IV.</span></span>
+</h1>
+
+<div id="LL0401" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc58" id="toc58"></a>
+<a name="pdf59" id="pdf59"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Dover express was nearing town: evening had
+begun to draw in, and from the wayside houses
+people saw the train roar by like a huge glowworm;
+but they could hardly guess that it was
+hurrying two real actors to the climax of a real comedy.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">From the opposite sides of a first-class carriage these
+two looked cheerfully at one another. The Channel
+was safely behind them, London was close ahead, and
+the piston of the engine seemed to thump a triumphal air.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We’ve done it, Twiddel, my boy!”</span> said the one.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank Heaven!”</span> replied the other.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">And</span></span> myself,”</span> added his friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes,”</span> said Twiddel; <span class="tei tei-q">“you played your part uncommonly
+well, Welsh.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It was the deuce of a fine spree!”</span> sighed Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The deuce,”</span> assented Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m only sorry it’s all over,”</span> Welsh went on, gazing
+regretfully up at the lamp of the carriage. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’d give the
+remains of my character and my chance of a public funeral
+to be starting again from Paris by the morning train!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel laughed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With the same head you had that morning?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page180">[pg 180]</span><a name="Pg180" id="Pg180" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, by George! Even with the same mile of dusty
+gullet!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s all over now,”</span> said Twiddel, philosophically,
+and yet rather nervously—<span class="tei tei-q">“at least the amusing part
+of it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“All the fun, my boy, all the fun. All the dinners
+and the drinks, and the touching of hats to the aristocratic
+travellers, and the girls that sighed, and the bowing and
+scraping. Do you remember the sporting baronet who
+knew my uncle? Now, I’m plain Robert Welsh, whose
+uncles, as far as I am aware, don’t know a baronet among
+’em.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He smiled a little sardonically.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And the baron at Fogelschloss,”</span> said Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who insisted on learning my pedigree back to Alfred
+the Great! Gad, I gave it him, though, and I doubt
+whether the real Essington could have done as much.
+I’d rather surprise some of these noblemen if I turned up
+again in my true character!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank the Lord, we’re not likely to meet them again!”</span>
+exclaimed the doctor, devoutly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No,”</span> said Welsh; <span class="tei tei-q">“here endeth the second lesson.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His friend, who had been well brought up, looked a
+trifle uncomfortable at this quotation.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I say,”</span> he remarked a few minutes later, <span class="tei tei-q">“we haven’t
+finished yet. We’ve got to get the man out again, and
+hand him back to his friends.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Cured,”</span> said Welsh, with a laugh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder how he is?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We’ll soon see.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page181">[pg 181]</span><a name="Pg181" id="Pg181" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They fell silent again, while the train hurried nearer
+and nearer London town. Welsh seemed to be musing
+on some nice point, it might be of conscience, it might
+also conceivably be of a more practical texture. At last
+he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“There’s just one thing, old man. What about
+the fee?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll get a cheque for it, I suppose,”</span> his friend replied,
+with an almost excessive air of mastery over the problem.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha!”</span> laughed Welsh; <span class="tei tei-q">“you know what I mean.
+It’s a delicate question and all that, but, hang it, it’s got
+to be answered.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What has?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The division of the spoil.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel looked dignified.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll see you get your share, old man,”</span> he answered,
+easily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But what share?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You suggested £100, I think.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Out of £500—when I’ve done all the deceiving and
+told all the lies! Come, old man!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, what do you want?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you remember a certain crisis when we’d made
+a slip&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You’d made a slip!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">We</span></span> had made a slip,
+and you wanted to chuck the
+game and bolt? Do you remember also the terms I
+proposed when I offered to beard the local god almighty
+in his lair and explain it all away, and how he became
+our bosom pal and we were saved?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page182">[pg 182]</span><a name="Pg182" id="Pg182" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“£300 to me,
+<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E5" id="E5" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e5" class="tei tei-ref">£</a></span>200
+to you,”</span> said Welsh, decisively.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Rot, old man. I’ll share fairly, if you insist. £250
+apiece, will that do?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh said nothing, but his face was no longer the
+countenance of the jovial adventurer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It will have to, I suppose,”</span> he replied, at length.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was with this little cloud on the horizon that they
+saw the lights of London twinkle through the windows,
+and were carried into the clamour of the platforms.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">They both drove first to Twiddel’s rooms; and as they
+looked out once more on the life and lights and traffic of
+the streets, their faces cleared again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We’ll have a merry evening!”</span> cried Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A little supper,”</span> suggested Twiddel; <span class="tei tei-q">“a music-hall&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Et cetera,”</span> added Welsh, with a laugh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor had written of their coming, and they
+found a fire in the back room, and the table laid.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah,”</span> cried Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“this looks devilish comfortable.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A letter for me,”</span> said Twiddel; <span class="tei tei-q">“from Billson, I
+think.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He read it and threw it to his friend, remarking, <span class="tei tei-q">“I call
+this rather cool of him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh read—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Dear
+  George</span></span>,—I am just off for three weeks’ holiday.
+  Sorry for leaving your practice, but I think it can
+  look after itself till you return.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You have only had two patients, and one
+  fee between them. The second man vanished mysteriously. I shall
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page183">[pg 183]</span><a name="Pg183" id="Pg183" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+  tell you about it when I come back. He boned a bill, too,
+  I fancy, but the story will keep.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am looking forward to hearing the true
+  tale of your adventures. Good luck to you.—Yours ever,</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Thomas Billson</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Boned a bill?”</span> exclaimed Welsh. <span class="tei tei-q">“What bill, I
+wonder?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Something that came when I was away, I suppose.
+Hang it, I think Billson might have looked after things
+better!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It sounds queer,”</span> said Welsh, reflectively; <span class="tei tei-q">“I wonder
+what it was?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Confound Billson, he might have told me,”</span> observed
+the doctor. <span class="tei tei-q">“But, I say, you know we have something
+more practical to see to.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Getting the man out again?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, let’s have a little grub first.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel rang the bell, and the frowsy little maid entered,
+carrying a letter on a tray.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dinner,”</span> said he.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Please, sir,”</span> began the maid, holding out the tray,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“this come for you near a month agow, but Missis she bin
+and forgot to send it hafter you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Confound her!”</span> said Twiddel, taking the letter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He looked at the envelope, and remarked with a little
+start of nervous excitement, <span class="tei tei-q">“From Dr Congleton.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“News of Mr Beveridge,”</span> laughed Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The doctor read the first few lines, and then, as if he had
+got an electric shock, the letter fell from his hand, and an
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page184">[pg 184]</span><a name="Pg184" id="Pg184" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+expression of the most utter and lively consternation came
+over his face.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Heavens!”</span> he ejaculated, <span class="tei tei-q">“it’s all up.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What’s up?”</span> cried Welsh, snatching at the letter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He’s run away!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh looked at him for a moment in some astonishment,
+and then burst out laughing.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What a joke!”</span> he cried; <span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t see anything to make
+a fuss about. We’re jolly well rid of him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The fee! I won’t get a penny till I bring him back.
+And the whole thing will be found out!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As the full meaning of this predicament burst upon
+Welsh, his face underwent a change by no means pleasant
+to watch. For a full minute he swore, and then an ominous
+silence fell upon the room.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Twiddel was the first to recover himself.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Let me see the letter,”</span> he said; <span class="tei tei-q">“I haven’t
+finished it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh read it aloud—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Dear
+  Twiddel</span></span>,—I regret to inform you that the
+  patient, Francis Beveridge, whom you placed under my
+  care, has escaped from Clankwood. We have made every
+  inquiry consistent with strict privacy, but unfortunately
+  have not yet been able to lay our hands upon him. We
+  only know that he left Ashditch Junction in the London
+  express, and was seen walking out of St Euston’s Cross.
+  How he has been able to maintain himself in concealment
+  without money or clothes, I am unable to imagine.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As no inquiries have been made for him
+  by his cousin Mr Welsh, or any other of his friends or relatives,
+  I am writing to you that you may inform them, and I hope that
+  this letter may follow you abroad without delay. I may
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page185">[pg 185]</span><a name="Pg185" id="Pg185" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+  add that the circumstances of his escape showed most unusual
+  cunning, and could not possibly have been guarded against.</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Trusting that you are having a pleasant
+  holiday, I am, yours very truly,</span></p>
+  
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right"><span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Adolphus S. Congleton</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The two looked at one another in silence for a minute,
+and then Welsh said, fiercely, <span class="tei tei-q">“You must catch him again,
+Twiddel. Do you think I am going to have all my risk
+and trouble for nothing?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span>
+must catch him! Do you suppose <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span>
+let him loose?<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E6" id="E6" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e6" class="tei tei-ref">”</a></span></span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must catch him, all the same.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shan’t bother my head about him,”</span> answered Twiddel,
+with the recklessness of despair.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You won’t? You want to have the story known, I
+suppose?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t care if it is.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh looked at him for a minute: then he jumped up
+and exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“You need a drink, old man. Let’s hurry
+up that slavey.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With the first course their countenances cleared a little,
+with the second they were almost composed, by the end of
+dinner they had started plot-hatching hopefully again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s any odds on the man’s still being in town,”</span> said
+Welsh. <span class="tei tei-q">“He had no money or clothes, and evidently he
+hasn’t gone to any of his friends, or the whole story would
+have been out. Now, there is nowhere where a man can
+lie low so well, especially if he is hard up, as London. I
+can answer from experience. He is hardly likely to be in
+the West End, or the best class of suburbs, so we’ve something
+to go upon at once. We must go to a private inquiry
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page186">[pg 186]</span><a name="Pg186" id="Pg186" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+office and put men on his track, and then we must
+take the town in beats ourselves. So much is clear; do
+you see?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And hadn’t we better find out whether anything more
+is known at Clankwood?”</span> suggested Twiddel. <span class="tei tei-q">“Dr
+Congleton wrote a month ago; perhaps they have caught
+him by this time.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hardly likely, I’m afraid; he’d have written to you if
+they had. Still, we can but ask.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But, I say!”</span> the doctor suddenly exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“people
+may find out that I’m back without him.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh was equal to the emergency.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You must leave again at once,”</span> he said decisively,
+rising from the table; <span class="tei tei-q">“and there’s no good wasting time,
+either.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you mean?”</span> asked the bewildered doctor,
+who had not yet assimilated the criminal point of view.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We’ll put our luggage straight on to a cab, drive off to
+other rooms—I know a cheap place that will do—and if
+by any chance inquiries are made, people must be told
+that you are still abroad. Nobody must hear of your coming
+home to-night.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is it&mdash;&mdash;”</span> began Twiddel, dubiously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is it what?”</span> snapped his friend.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is it worth it?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is £500, not to speak of two reputations, worth it!
+Come on!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The unfortunate doctor sighed, and rose too. He was
+beginning to think that the nefarious acquisition of fees
+might have drawbacks after all.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0402" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page187">[pg 187]</span><a name="Pg187" id="Pg187" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc60" id="toc60"></a>
+<a name="pdf61" id="pdf61"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The chronicle must now go back a few days and follow
+another up-express.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I must either be a clergyman or a policeman,”</span> Mr
+Bunker reflected, in the corner of his carriage; <span class="tei tei-q">“they seem
+to me to be on the whole the two least molested professions.
+Each certainly has a livery which, if its occupier is
+ordinarily judicious, ought to serve as a certificate of
+sanity. To me all policemen are precisely alike, but I
+daresay they know them apart in the force, and as all the
+beats and crossings are presumably taken already, I
+might excite suspicion by my mere superfluity. Besides,
+a theatrical costumier’s uniform would possibly lack some
+ridiculous but essential detail.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He lit another cigar and looked humorously out of the
+window.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall take orders. An amateur theatrical clergyman’s
+costume will be more comfortable, and probably
+less erroneous. They allow them some latitude, I believe;
+and I don’t suppose there are any visible ordination
+scars whose absence would give me away. I shall certainly
+study the first reverend brother I meet to see.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Thus wisely ruminating, he arrived in London at a very
+early hour on a chilly morning, and drove straight to a
+small hotel near King’s Cross, where the landlord was
+much gratified at receiving so respectable a guest as the
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page188">[pg 188]</span><a name="Pg188" id="Pg188" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+Rev. Alexander Butler. (<span class="tei tei-q">“I must begin with a B.”</span> said
+Mr Bunker to himself; <span class="tei tei-q">“I think it’s lucky.”</span>)</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It is true the reverend gentleman was in evening clothes,
+while his hat and coat had a singularly secular, not to say
+fashionable, appearance; but, as he mentioned casually
+in the course of some extremely affable remarks, he had
+been dining in a country house, and had not thought it
+worth while changing before he left. After breakfasting
+he dressed himself in an equally secular suit of tweeds
+and went out, he mentioned incidentally, to call at his
+tailor’s for his professional habit, which he seemed surprised
+to learn had not yet been forwarded to the hotel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A visit to a certain well-known firm of theatrical costumiers
+was followed by his reappearance in a cab accompanied
+by a bulky brown paper parcel; and presently he
+emerged from his room attired more consistently with his
+office, much to his own satisfaction, for, as he observed,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I cannot say I approve of clergymen masquerading as
+laymen.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">His opinion on the converse circumstance was not expressed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Much to his landlord’s disappointment, he informed
+him that he should probably leave again that afternoon,
+and then he went out for a walk.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">About half an hour later he was once more in the street
+where, not so very long ago, a very exciting cab-race had
+finished. He strolled slowly past Dr Twiddel’s house.
+The blinds of the front room were down; at that hour
+there was no sign of life about it, and he saw nothing at
+all to arrest his attention. Then he looked down the
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page189">[pg 189]</span><a name="Pg189" id="Pg189" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+other side of the street, and to his great satisfaction spied
+a card, with the legend <span class="tei tei-q">“Apartments to let,”</span> in one of the
+first-floor windows of a house immediately opposite.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He rang the bell, and in a moment a rotund and loquacious
+landlady appeared. Yes, the drawing-room was to
+let; would the reverend gentleman come up and see it?
+Mr Bunker went up, and approved. They readily
+agreed upon terms, and the landlady, charmed with her
+new lodger’s appearance and manners, no less than with
+the respectability of his profession, proceeded to descant
+at some length on the quiet, comfort, and numerous other
+advantages of the apartments.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Just the very plice you wants, sir. We ’ave ’ad
+clerical gentlemen ’ere before, sir; in fact, there’s
+one a-staying ’ere now, second floor,—you may know of
+’im, sir,—the Reverend Mr John Duggs; a very pleasant
+gentleman you’ll find him, sir. I’ll tell ’im
+you’re ’ere, sir; ’e’d be
+sure to like to meet another gentleman of the syme cloth,
+has they say.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Somehow or other the Rev. Mr Butler failed to display
+the hearty pleasure at this announcement that the worthy
+Mrs Gabbon had naturally expected.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Aloud he merely said, <span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed,”</span> politely, but with no
+unusual interest.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Within himself he reflected, <span class="tei tei-q">“The deuce take Mr John
+Duggs! However, I want the rooms, and a man must risk
+something.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As a precautionary measure he visited a second-hand
+bookseller on his way back, and purchased a small assortment
+of the severest-looking works on theology they kept
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page190">[pg 190]</span><a name="Pg190" id="Pg190" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+in stock; and these, with his slender luggage, he brought
+round to Mrs Gabbon’s in the course of the afternoon.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He looked carefully out of his sitting-room window,
+but the doctor’s blinds were still down, and he saw no one
+coming or going about the house; so he began his inquiries
+by calling up his landlady.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I have been troubled with lumbago, Mrs Gabbon,”</span> he
+began.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dearie me, sir,”</span> said Mrs Gabbon, <span class="tei tei-q">“I’m sorry to ’ear
+that; you that looks so ’ealthy too! Well, one never
+knows what’s be’ind a ’appy hexterior, does one, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, Mrs Gabbon,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, solemnly;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“one never knows what even a clergyman’s coat conceals.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That’s very true, sir. In the midst of life we are
+in&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Lumbago,”</span> interposed Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mrs Gabbon looked a trifle startled.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well,”</span> he continued with the same gravity, <span class="tei tei-q">“I may
+unfortunately have occasion to consult a doctor&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“There’s Dr Smith,”</span> interrupted Mrs Gabbon, her
+equanimity quite restored by his ecclesiastical tone and
+the mention of ailments; <span class="tei tei-q">“’e attended my poor dear
+’usband hall through his last illness; an huncommon clever
+doctor, sir, as I ought to know, sir, bein’&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No doubt an excellent man, Mrs Gabbon; but I should
+like to know of one as near at hand as possible. Now I
+see the name of a Dr Twiddel&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I wouldn’t recommend ’im, sir,”</span> said Mrs Gabbon,
+pursing her mouth.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page191">[pg 191]</span><a name="Pg191" id="Pg191" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q"><span class="tei tei-add"><a name="E7" id="E7" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e7" class="tei tei-ref">“</a></span>Indeed? Why not?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“’E attended Mrs Brown’s servant-girl,
+sir,—she bein’
+the lady as has the ’ouse next door,—and what he
+give <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">’er</span></span>
+didn’t do no good. Mrs Brown tell me ’erself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Still, in an emergency&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Besides which, he ain’t at ’ome, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where has he gone?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Abroad, they do say, sir; though I don’t rightly know
+much about ’im.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Has he been away long?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mrs Gabbon considered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It must ’ave bin before the middle of November he
+went, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha!”</span> exclaimed Mr Bunker, keenly, though apparently
+more to himself than his landlady.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The middle of November, you say? That’s a long
+holiday for a doctor to take.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“’E ’avn’t no practice to speak
+of,—not as I knows of, leastways.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What sort of a man is he—young or old?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“By my opinion, sir, ’e’s too young. I
+don’t ’old by
+them young doctors. Now Dr Smith, sir&mdash;&mdash;”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dr Twiddel is quite a young man, then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What I’d call little better than a boy, sir. They tell
+me they lets ’em loose very young nowadays.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“About twenty-five, say?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“’E might be that, sir; but I don’t know much about
+’im, sir. Now Dr Smith, sir, ’e’s different.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In fact at this point Mrs Gabbon showed such a tendency
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page192">[pg 192]</span><a name="Pg192" id="Pg192" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+to turn the conversation back to the merits of Dr
+Smith and the precise nature of Mr Bunker’s ailment,
+that her lodger, in despair, requested her to bring up a cup
+of tea as speedily as possible.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Before the middle of November,”</span> he said to himself.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“It is certainly a curious coincidence.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To a gentleman of Mr Bunker’s sociable habits and
+active mind, the prospect of sitting day by day in the company
+of his theological treatises and talkative landlady,
+and watching an apparently uninhabited house, seemed
+at first sight even less entertaining than a return to
+Clankwood. But, as he said of himself, he possessed
+a kind of easy workaday philosophy, and, besides that, an
+apparently irresistible attraction for the incidents of
+life.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He had barely finished his cup of tea, and was sitting
+over the fire smoking one of the Baron’s cigars and looking
+through one of the few books he had brought that bore no
+relation to divinity, his feet high upon the side of the
+mantelpiece, his ready-made costume perhaps a little
+more unbuttoned than the strictest propriety might approve,
+and a stiff glass of whisky-and-water at his elbow,
+when there came a rap at his door.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In response to his <span class="tei tei-q">“Come in,”</span> a middle-aged gentleman,
+dressed in clerical attire, entered. He had a broad,
+bearded face, a dull eye, and an indescribably average
+aspect.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The devil! Mr John Duggs himself,”</span> thought Mr
+Bunker, hastily adopting a more conventional attitude
+and feeling for his button-holes.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page193">[pg 193]</span><a name="Pg193" id="Pg193" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah—er—Mr Butler, I believe?”</span> said the stranger,
+with an apologetic air.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The same,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, smiling affably.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I,”</span> continued his visitor, advancing with more confidence,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“am Mr Duggs. I am dwelling at present in the
+apartment immediately above you, and hearing of the
+arrival of a fellow-clergyman, through my worthy friend
+Mrs Gabbon, I have taken the liberty of calling. She
+gave me to understand that you were not undesirous of
+making my acquaintance, Mr Butler.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The deuce, she did!”</span> thought Mr Butler. Aloud he
+answered most politely, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am honoured, Mr Duggs.
+Won’t you sit down?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">First casting a wary eye upon a chair, Mr Duggs seated
+himself carefully on the edge of it.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It is quite evident,”</span> thought Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“that he has
+spotted something wrong. I believe a bobby would have
+been safer after all.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He assumed the longest face he could draw, and remarked
+sententiously, <span class="tei tei-q">“The weather has been unpleasantly
+cold of late, Mr Duggs.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He flattered himself that his guest seemed instantly
+more at his ease. Certainly he replied with as much
+cordiality as a man with such a dull eye could be supposed
+to display.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It has, Mr Butler; in fact I have suffered from a chill
+for some weeks. Ahem!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have something to drink,”</span> suggested Mr Bunker,
+sympathetically. <span class="tei tei-q">“I’m trying a little whisky myself, as a
+cure for cold.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page194">[pg 194]</span><a name="Pg194" id="Pg194" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I—ah—I am sorry. I do not touch spirits.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I, on the contrary, am glad to hear it. Too few of our
+clergymen nowadays support the cause of temperance by
+example.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker felt a little natural pride in this happily
+expressed sentiment, but his visitor merely turned his cold
+eye on the whisky bottle, and breathed heavily.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Confound him!”</span> he thought; <span class="tei tei-q">“I’ll give him something
+to snort at if he is going to conduct himself like this.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have a cigar?”</span> he asked aloud.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Duggs seemed to regard the cigar-box a little less
+unkindly than the whisky bottle; but after a careful look
+at it he replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“I am afraid they seem a little too strong
+for me. I am a light smoker, Mr Butler.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Really,”</span> smiled Mr Bunker; <span class="tei tei-q">“so many virtues in one
+room reminds me of the virgins of Gomorrah.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon? The what?”</span> asked Mr Duggs,
+with a startled stare.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker suspected that he had made a slip in his
+biblical reminiscences, but he continued to smile imperturbably,
+and inquired with a perfect air of surprise,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Haven’t you read the novel I referred to?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Duggs appeared a little relieved, but he answered
+blankly enough, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—ah—have not. What is the book
+you refer to?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, don’t you know? To tell the truth, I forget the
+title. It’s by a somewhat well-known lady writer of
+religious fiction. A Miss—her name escapes me at this
+moment.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In fact, as Mr Bunker had no idea how long his friend
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page195">[pg 195]</span><a name="Pg195" id="Pg195" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+might be dwelling in the apartment immediately above
+him, he thought it more prudent to make no statement
+that could possibly be checked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am no great admirer of religious fiction of any kind,”</span>
+replied Mr Duggs, <span class="tei tei-q">“particularly that written by emotional
+females.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No,”</span> said Mr Bunker, pleasantly; <span class="tei tei-q">“I should imagine
+your own doctrines were not apt to err on the sentimental
+side.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am not aware that I have said anything to you about
+my—doctrines, as you call them, Mr Butler.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Still, don’t you think one can generally tell a man’s
+creed from his coat, and his sympathies from the way he
+cocks his hat?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I think,”</span> replied Mr Duggs, <span class="tei tei-q">“that our ideas of our
+vocation are somewhat different.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mine is, I admit,”</span> said Mr Bunker, who had come to
+the conclusion that the strain of playing his part was really
+too great, and was now being happily carried along by his
+tongue.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Duggs for a moment was evidently disposed to give
+battle, but thinking better of it, he contented himself with
+frowning at his younger opponent, and abruptly changed
+the subject.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“May I ask what position you hold in the church, Mr
+Butler?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why,”</span> began Mr Bunker, lightly: it was on the tip of
+his tongue to say <span class="tei tei-q">“a clergyman, of course,”</span> when he suddenly
+recollected that he might be anything from the rank
+of curate up to the people who wear gaiters (and who these
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page196">[pg 196]</span><a name="Pg196" id="Pg196" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+were precisely he didn’t know). An ingenious solution
+suggested itself. He replied with a preliminary inquiry,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Have you ever been in the East, Mr Duggs?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I regret to say I have not hitherto had the opportunity.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thank the Lord for that,”</span> thought Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
+have been a missionary,”</span> he said quietly, and looked
+dreamily into the fire.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was a happy move. Mr Duggs was visibly impressed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah?”</span> he said. <span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed? I am much interested to
+learn this, Mr Butler. It—ah—gives me perhaps a somewhat
+different view of your—ah—opinions. Where did
+your work lie?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“China,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, thinking it best to keep as
+far abroad as possible.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha!”</span> exclaimed Mr Duggs. <span class="tei tei-q">“This is really extremely
+fortunate. I am at present, Mr Butler, studying the
+religions and customs of China at the British Museum,
+with a view to going out there myself very shortly. I
+already feel I know almost as much about that most interesting
+country as if I had lived there. I should like to
+talk with you at some length on the subject.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker saw that it was time to put an end to this
+conversation, at whatever minor risk of perturbing his
+visitor. He had been a little alarmed, too, by noticing
+that Mr Duggs’ dull eye had wandered frequently to his
+theological library, which with his usual foresight he had
+strewn conspicuously on the table, and that any expression
+it had was rather of suspicious curiosity than gratification.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page197">[pg 197]</span><a name="Pg197" id="Pg197" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I should like to hear some of your experiences,”</span> Mr
+Duggs continued. <span class="tei tei-q">“In what province did you work?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In Hung Hang Ho,”</span> replied Mr Bunker. His visitor
+looked puzzled, but he continued boldly, <span class="tei tei-q">“My experiences
+were somewhat unpleasant. I became engaged to a
+mandarin’s daughter—a charming girl. I was suspected,
+however, of abetting an illicit traffic in Chinese lanterns.
+My companions were manicured alive, and I only made
+my escape in a pagoda, or a junk—I was in too much of a
+hurry to notice which—at the imminent peril of my life.
+Don’t go to China, Mr Duggs.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Duggs rose.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Young man,”</span> he said, sternly, <span class="tei tei-q">“put away that fatal
+bottle. I can only suppose that it is under the influence of
+drink that you have ventured to tell me such an irreverent
+and impossible story.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sir,”</span> began Mr Bunker, warmly,—for he thought that
+an outburst of indignation would probably be the safest
+way of concluding the interview,—when he stopped abruptly
+and listened. All the time his ears had been alive
+to anything going on outside, and now he heard a cab
+rattle up and stop close by. It might be at Dr Twiddel’s,
+he thought, and, turning from his visitor, he sprang to the
+window.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Remarking distantly, <span class="tei tei-q">“I hear a cab; it is possibly a
+friend I am expecting,”</span> Mr Duggs stepped to the other
+window.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was only, however, a hansom at the door of the next
+house, out of which a very golden-haired young lady was
+stepping.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page198">[pg 198]</span><a name="Pg198" id="Pg198" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<span class="tei tei-q">“Aha,”</span> said Mr Bunker, quite forgetting the indignant
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">rôle</span></span> he had begun to play;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“rather nice! Is this your friend, Mr Duggs?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Duggs gave him one look of his dull eyes, and
+walked straight for the door. As he went out he merely
+remarked, <span class="tei tei-q">“Our acquaintance has been brief, Mr Butler,
+but it has been quite sufficient.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Quite,”</span> thought Mr Bunker.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0403" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc62" id="toc62"></a>
+<a name="pdf63" id="pdf63"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That was Mr Bunker’s first and last meeting with the
+Rev. John Duggs, and he took no small credit to himself
+for having so effectually incensed his neighbour, without,
+at the same time, bringing suspicion on anything more
+pertinent than his sobriety.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">And yet sometimes in the course of the next three days
+he would have been thankful to see him again, if only to
+have another passage-of-arms. The time passed most
+wearily; the consulting-room blinds were never raised; no
+cabs stopped before the doctor’s door; nobody except the
+little servant ever moved about the house.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He could think of no plan better than waiting; and so he
+waited, showing himself seldom in the streets, and even
+sitting behind the curtain while he watched at the window.
+After writing at some length to the Baron he had no
+further correspondence that he could distract himself
+with; he was even forced once or twice to dip into the
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page199">[pg 199]</span><a name="Pg199" id="Pg199" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+theological works. Mrs Gabbon had evidently <span class="tei tei-q">“’eard
+sommat”</span> from Mr Duggs, and treated him to little of her
+society. The boredom became so excessive that he decided
+he must make a move soon, however rash it was.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The only active step he took, and indeed the only step
+he saw his way to take, was a call on Dr Twiddel’s
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">locum</span></span>.
+But luck seemed to run dead against him. Dr Billson
+had departed <span class="tei tei-q">“on his holiday,”</span> he was informed, and
+would not return for three weeks. So Mr Bunker was
+driven back to his window and the Baron’s cigars.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was the evening of his fourth day in Mrs Gabbon’s
+rooms. He had finished a modest dinner and was dealing
+himself hands at piquet with an old pack of cards, when
+he heard the rattle of a cab coming up the street. The
+usual faint flicker of hope rose: the cab stopped below
+him, the flicker burned brighter, and in an instant he was
+at the window. He opened the slats of the blind, and the
+flicker was aflame. Before the doctor’s house a four-wheeled
+cab was standing laden with luggage, and two
+men were going up the steps. He watched the luggage
+being taken in and the cab drive away, and then he turned
+radiantly back to the fire.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The curtain is up,”</span> he said to himself. <span class="tei tei-q">“What’s the
+first act to be?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Presently he put on his
+<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E8" id="E8" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e8" class="tei tei-ref">wide-awake</a></span>
+hat and went out for
+a stroll. He walked slowly past the doctor’s house, but
+there was nothing to be seen or heard. Remembering the
+room at the back, he was not surprised to find no chink of
+light about the front windows, and thinking it better not
+to run the risk of being seen lingering there, he walked on.
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page200">[pg 200]</span><a name="Pg200" id="Pg200" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+He was in such good spirits, and had been cooped up so
+continually for the last few days, that he went on and on,
+and it was not till about a couple of hours had passed that
+he approached his rooms again. As he came down the
+street he was surprised to see by the light of a lamp that
+another four-wheeler was standing before the doctor’s
+house, also laden with luggage.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Two men jumped in, one after another, and when he
+had come at his fastest walk within twenty yards or so,
+the cabman whipped up and drove rapidly away, luggage
+and men and all.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He looked up and down for a hansom, but there were
+none to be seen. For a few yards he set off at a run in
+pursuit, and then, finding that the horse was being driven
+at a great rate, and remembering the paucity of stray cabs
+in the quiet streets and roads round about, he stopped and
+considered the question.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“After all,”</span> he reflected, <span class="tei tei-q">“it may not have been Dr
+Twiddel who drove away; in fact, if it was he who arrived
+in the first cab, it’s any odds against it. Pooh! It can’t
+be. Still, it’s a curious thing if two cabs loaded with
+luggage came to the house in the same evening, and one
+drove away without unlading.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With his spirits a little damped in spite of his philosophy,
+he went back to his rooms.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">In the morning the consulting-room blinds were still
+down, and the house looked as deserted as ever.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He waited till lunch, and then he went out boldly and
+pulled the doctor’s bell. The same little maid appeared,
+but she evidently did not recognise the fashionable patient
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page201">[pg 201]</span><a name="Pg201" id="Pg201" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+who disappeared so mysteriously in the demure-looking
+clergyman at the door.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Is Dr Twiddel at home?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir, he ain’t back yet.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He hasn’t been back?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker looked at her keenly, and then said to himself,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“She is lying.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He thought he would try a chance shot.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But he was expected home last night, I believe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The maid looked a little staggered.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He ain’t been,”</span> she replied.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I happen to have heard that he called here,”</span> he hazarded
+again.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This time she was evidently put about.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He ain’t been here—as I knows of.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He slipped half-a-crown into her hand.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Think again,”</span> he said, in his most winning accents.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The poor little maid was obviously in a dilemma.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Do you want him particular, sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Particularly.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">She fidgeted a little.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He told me,”</span> he pursued, <span class="tei tei-q">“that he might look in at
+his rooms last night. He left no message for me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What
+<span class="tei tei-corr"><a name="E9" id="E9" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><a href="#e9" class="tei tei-ref">name</a></span>,
+sir?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mr Butler.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Then, my dear,”</span> said Mr Bunker, with his most insinuating
+smile, <span class="tei tei-q">“he was here for a little, you can’t
+deny?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page202">[pg 202]</span><a name="Pg202" id="Pg202" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At the maid’s embarrassed glance down his long coat,
+he suddenly realised that there was perhaps a distinction
+between lay and clerical smiles.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“He might have just looked in, sir,”</span> she admitted.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But he didn’t want it known?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Quite right, I advised him not to, and you did very well
+not to tell me at first.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He smiled approvingly and made a pretence of turning
+away.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, by the way,”</span> he added, stopping as if struck by an
+after-thought, <span class="tei tei-q">“Is he still in town? He promised to leave
+word for me, but he has evidently forgotten.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I don’t know, sir; ’e didn’t say.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What? He left <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">no</span></span> word at all?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker held out another half-crown.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s truth, sir,”</span> said the maid, drawing back; <span class="tei tei-q">“we
+don’t know where ’e is.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Take it, all the same; you have been very discreet.
+You have no idea?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The maid hesitated.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">did</span></span> ’ear Mr
+Welsh say something about lookin’ for
+rooms,”</span> she allowed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In London?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I expect so, sir; but ’e didn’t say no more.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mr Welsh is the friend who came with him, of course?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks,”</span> said Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“By the way, Dr Twiddel
+might not like your telling this even to a friend, so you
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page203">[pg 203]</span><a name="Pg203" id="Pg203" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+needn’t say I called, I’ll tell him myself when I see him,
+and I won’t give you away.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He smiled benignly, and the little maid thanked him
+quite gratefully.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Evidently,”</span> he thought as he went away, <span class="tei tei-q">“I was
+meant for something in the detective line.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He returned to his rooms to meditate, and the longer
+he thought the more puzzled he became, and yet the
+more convinced that he had taken up a thread that must
+lead him somewhere.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“As for my plan of action,”</span> he considered, <span class="tei tei-q">“I see nothing
+better for it than staying where I am—and watching.
+This mysterious doctor must surely steal back some night.
+Now and then I might go round the town and try a cast in
+the likeliest bars—oh, hang me, though! I forgot I was a
+clergyman.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">That night he had a welcome distraction in the shape of
+a letter from the Baron. It was written from Brierley
+Park, in the Baron’s best pointed German hand, and it ran
+thus—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">My
+  dear Bunker</span></span>,—I was greatly more delighted
+  than I am able to express to you from the amusing correspondence
+  you addressed me. How glad I am, I can
+  assure you, that you are still in safety and comfort. Remember,
+  my dear friend, to call for me when need arises,
+  although I do think you can guard yourself as well as
+  most alone.</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“This leaves me happy and healthful, and
+  in utmost prosperity with the kind Sir Richard and his charming
+  Lady. You English certainly know well how to cause
+  time to pass with mirth. About instruction I say less!</span></p>
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page204">[pg 204]</span><a name="Pg204" id="Pg204" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“They have talked of you here. I laugh
+  and keep my tongue when they wonder who he is and whither gone
+  away. Now that anger is passed and they see I myself
+  enjoy the joke, they say, and especially do the ladies,
+  (You humbug, Bunker!) <span class="tei tei-q">‘How charming was the imitation,
+  Baron!’</span> You can indeed win the hearts, if wishful
+  so. The Lady Grillyer and her unexpressable daughter
+  I have often seen. To-day they come here for two nights.
+  I did suggest it to Lady Brierley, and I fear she did suspect
+  the condition of my heart; but she charmingly smiled,
+  she asked them, and they come!</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The Countess, I fear, does not now love
+  you much, my friend; but then she knows not the truth. The Lady
+  Alicia is strangely silent on the matter of Mr Bunker, but
+  in time she also doubtless will forgive.</span> <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-size: 100%">(At this Mr
+  Bunker smiled in some amusement.)</span></span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“When they leave Brierley I also shall
+  take my departure on the following day, that is in three days.
+  Therefore write hastily, Bunker, and name the place and hour
+  where we shall meet again and dine festively. I expect a
+  most reverent clergyman and much instructive discourse.
+  Ah, humbug!—Thine always,</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right"><span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Rudolph von Blitzenberg</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">P.S.</span></span>—She
+  is sometimes more kind and sometimes so
+  distant. Ah, I know not what to surmise! But to-morrow
+  or the next my fate will be decided. Give me of
+  your prayers, my reverent friend!</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right"><span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">R. von B</span></span>.”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dear old Baron!”</span> said Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I’ve at
+least a dinner to look forward to.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page205">[pg 205]</span><a name="Pg205" id="Pg205" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0404" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<a name="toc64" id="toc64"></a>
+<a name="pdf65" id="pdf65"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Dr Twiddel, meanwhile, was no less anxious to make
+the Rev. Alexander Butler’s acquaintance than the Rev.
+Alexander Butler was to make his. Not that he was
+aware of that gentleman’s recent change of identity and
+occupation; but most industrious endeavors to find a certain
+Mr Beveridge were made in the course of the next few
+days. He and Welsh were living modestly and obscurely
+in the neighbourhood of the Pentonville Road, scouring
+the town by day, studying a map and laying the most
+ingenious plans at night. Welsh’s first effort, as soon as
+they were established in their new quarters, was to induce
+his friend to go down to Clankwood and make further
+inquiries, but this Twiddel absolutely declined to do.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear chap,”</span> he answered, <span class="tei tei-q">“supposing anything
+were found out, or even suspected, what am I to say?
+Old Congleton knows me well, and for his own sake doesn’t
+want to make a fuss; but if he really spots that something
+is wrong, he will be so afraid of his reputation that he’d
+give me away like a shot.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“How are you going to give things away by going down
+and seeing him?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">If</span></span> they have guessed
+anything, I’ll give it away. I
+haven’t your cheek, you know, and tact, and that sort of
+thing; you’d much better go yourself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I?</span></span> It isn’t my business.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page206">[pg 206]</span><a name="Pg206" id="Pg206" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You seem to be making it yours. Besides, Dr Congleton
+thinks it is. You passed yourself off as the chap’s
+cousin, and it is quite natural for you to go and inquire.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh pondered the point. <span class="tei tei-q">“Hang it,”</span> he said at last,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“it would do just as well to write. Perhaps it’s safer
+after all.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Well, you write.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Why should I, rather than you?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Because you’re his cousin.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh considered again. <span class="tei tei-q">“Well, I don’t suppose it
+matters much. I’ll write, if you’re afraid.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was these amiable little touches in his friend’s conversation
+that helped to make Twiddel’s lot at this time
+so pleasant. In fact, the doctor was learning a good deal
+about human nature in cloudy weather.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With great care Welsh composed a polite note of anxious
+inquiry, and by return of post received the following
+reply:—</p>
+
+<div class="block tei tei-q">
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">My
+  dear Sir</span></span>,—I regret to inform you that we have
+  not so far recovered your cousin Mr Beveridge. In all
+  probability, however, this cannot be long delayed now, as
+  he was seen within the last week at a country house in
+  Dampshire, and is known to have fled to London immediately
+  on his recognition, but before he could be
+  secured. He was then clean shaved, and had been passing
+  under the name of Francis Bunker. We are making
+  strict inquiries for him in London.</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Nobody can regret the unfortunate
+  circumstance of his escape more than I, and, in justice to
+  myself and my institution, I can assure you that it was only
+  through the most unforeseen and remarkable ingenuity on your
+  cousin’s part that it occurred.</span></p>
+  <span class="tei tei-pb" id="page207">[pg 207]</span><a name="Pg207" id="Pg207" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Trusting that I may soon be able to
+  inform you of his recovery, I am, yours very truly,</span></p>
+
+  <p class="tei tei-p" style="text-align: right; margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: right">“<span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: right"><span style="font-variant: small-caps">Adolphus S. Congleton</span></span>.</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Their ardour was, if possible, increased by Dr Congleton’s
+letter. Mr Beveridge was almost certainly in London,
+and they knew now that they must look for a clean-shaved
+man. Two private inquiry detectives were at
+work; and on their own account they had mapped the
+likeliest parts of London into beats, visiting every bar and
+restaurant in turn, and occasionally hanging about stations
+and the stopping-places for ’buses.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">It was dreadfully hard work, and after four days of it,
+even Welsh began to get a little sickened.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Hang it,”</span> he said in the evening, <span class="tei tei-q">“I haven’t had a
+decent dinner since we came back. Mr Bunker can go to
+the devil for to-night, I’m going to dine decently. I’m
+sick of going round pubs, and not even stopping to have a
+drink.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“So am I,”</span> replied Twiddel, cordially; <span class="tei tei-q">“where shall
+we go?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“The Café Maccarroni,”</span> suggested Welsh; <span class="tei tei-q">“we can’t
+afford a West-end place, and they give one a very decent
+dinner there.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Café Maccarroni in Holborn is nominally of
+foreign extraction,—certainly the waiters and the stout
+proprietor come from sunnier lands,—and many of the
+diners you can hear talking in strange tongues, with quick
+gesticulations. But for the most part they are respectable
+citizens of London, who drink Chianti because it stimulates
+cheaply and not unpleasantly. The white-painted
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page208">[pg 208]</span><a name="Pg208" id="Pg208" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+room is bright and clean and seldom very crowded, the
+British palate can be tickled with tolerable joints and
+cutlets, and the foreign with gravy-covered odds and ends.
+Altogether, it may be recommended to such as desire to
+dine comfortably and not too conspicuously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The hour at which the two friends entered was later
+than most of the <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">habitués</span></span>
+dine, and they had the room
+almost to themselves. They faced each other across a
+small table beside the wall, and very soon the discomforts
+of their researches began to seem more tolerable.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We’ll catch him soon, old man,”</span> said Welsh, smiling
+more affably than he had smiled since they came back.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“A day or two more of this kind of work and even London
+won’t be able to conceal him any longer.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Dash it, we must,”</span> replied Twiddel, bravely. <span class="tei tei-q">“We’ll
+show old Congleton how to look for a lunatic.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha!”</span> laughed Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“I think he’ll be rather relieved
+himself. Waiter! another bottle of the same.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The bottle arrived, and the waiter was just filling their
+glasses when a young clergyman entered the room and
+walked quietly towards the farther end. Welsh raised
+his glass and exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Here’s luck to ourselves, Twiddel,
+old man!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At that moment the clergyman was passing their table,
+and at the mention of this toast he started almost imperceptibly,
+and then, throwing a quick glance at the two,
+stopped and took a seat at the next table, with his back
+turned towards them. Welsh, who was at the farther
+side, looked at him with some annoyance, and made a
+sign to Twiddel to talk a little more quietly.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page209">[pg 209]</span><a name="Pg209" id="Pg209" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">To the waiter, who came with the
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">menu</span></span>, the clergyman
+explained in a quiet voice that he was waiting for a friend,
+and asked for an evening paper instead, in which he soon
+appeared to be deeply engrossed.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At first the conversation went on in a lower tone, but in
+a few minutes they insensibly forgot their neighbour, and
+the voices rose again by starts.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear fellow,”</span> Welsh was saying, <span class="tei tei-q">“we can discuss
+that afterwards; we haven’t caught him yet.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I want to settle it now.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But I thought it was settled.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, it wasn’t,”</span> said Twiddel, with a foreign and
+vinous doggedness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you suggest then?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Divide it equally—£250 each.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You think you can claim half the credit for the idea
+and half the trouble?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I can claim <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">all</span></span> the
+risk—practically.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Pooh!”</span> said Welsh. <span class="tei tei-q">“You think I risked nothing?
+Come, come, let’s talk of something else.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, rot!”</span> interrupted Twiddel, who by this time was
+decidedly flushed. <span class="tei tei-q">“You needn’t ride the high horse like
+that, you are not Mr Mandell-Essington any longer.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With a violent start, the clergyman brought his fist
+crash on the table, and exclaimed aloud, <span class="tei tei-q">“By Heaven,
+that’s it!”</span></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0405" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em">
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page210">[pg 210]</span><a name="Pg210" id="Pg210" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+<a name="toc66" id="toc66"></a>
+<a name="pdf67" id="pdf67"></a>
+<h2 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2.88em; margin-top: 2.88em">
+  <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</span></span>
+</h2>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As one may suppose, everybody in the room started in
+great astonishment at this extraordinary outburst. With
+a sharp <span class="tei tei-q">“Hollo!”</span> Twiddel turned in his seat, to see the
+clergyman standing over him with a look of the keenest
+inquiry in his well-favoured face.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“May I ask, Dr Twiddel, what you know of the gentleman
+you just named?”</span> he said, with perfect politeness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The conscience-smitten doctor gazed at him blankly,
+and the colour suddenly left his face. But Welsh’s
+nerves were stronger; and, as he looked hard at the
+stranger, a jubilant light leaped to his eyes.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“It’s our man!”</span> he cried, before his friend could gather
+his wits. <span class="tei tei-q">“It’s Beveridge, or Bunker, or whatever he
+calls himself! Waiter!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Instantly three waiters, all agog, hurried at his summons.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker regarded him with considerable surprise.
+He had quite expected that the pair would be thrown into
+confusion, but not that it would take this form.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Excuse me, sir,”</span> he began, but Welsh interrupted him
+by crying to the leading waiter—</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Fetch a four-wheeled cab and a policeman, quick!”</span>
+As the man hesitated, he added, <span class="tei tei-q">“This man here is an
+escaped lunatic.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The waiter was starting for the door, when Mr Bunker
+stepped out quickly and interrupted him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Stop one minute, waiter,”</span> he said, with a quiet, unruffled
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page211">[pg 211]</span><a name="Pg211" id="Pg211" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+air that went far to establish his sanity. <span class="tei tei-q">“Do I
+look like a lunatic? Kindly call the proprietor first.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The stout proprietor was already on his way to their
+table, and the one or two other diners were beginning to
+gather round. Mr Bunker’s manner had impressed
+even Welsh, and after his nature he took refuge in bluster.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I say, my man,”</span> he cried, <span class="tei tei-q">“this won’t pass. Somebody
+fetch a cab.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Vat is dees about?”</span> asked the proprietor, coming up.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Your wine, I’m afraid, has been rather too powerful
+for this gentleman,”</span> Mr Bunker explained, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Look here,”</span> blustered Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“do you know you’ve
+got a lunatic in the room?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You can perhaps guess it,”</span> smiled Mr Bunker, indicating
+Welsh with his eyes.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The waiters began to twitter, and Welsh, with an effort,
+pulled himself together.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My friend here,”</span> he said, <span class="tei tei-q">“is Dr Twiddel, a well-known
+practitioner in London. He can tell you that he
+certified this man as a lunatic, and that he afterwards
+escaped from his asylum. That is so, Twiddel?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes,”</span> assented Twiddel, whose colour was beginning
+to come back a little.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Who are you, sare?”</span> asked the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Show him your card, Twiddel,”</span> said Welsh, producing
+his own and handing it over.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The proprietor looked at both cards, and then turned to
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And who are you, sare?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My name is Mandell-Essington.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page212">[pg 212]</span><a name="Pg212" id="Pg212" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“His name&mdash;&mdash;”</span> began Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Have you a card?”</span> interposed the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am sorry I have not,”</span> replied Mr Bunker (to still
+call him by the name of his choice).</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“His name is Francis Beveridge,”</span> said Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I beg your pardon; it is Mandell-Essington.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Any other description?”</span> Welsh asked, with a sneer.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“A gentleman, I believe.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No other occupation?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Not unless you can call a justice of the peace such,”</span>
+replied Mr Bunker, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And yet he disguises himself as a clergyman!”</span> exclaimed
+Welsh, triumphantly, turning to the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker saw that he was caught, but he merely
+laughed, and observed, <span class="tei tei-q">“My friend here disguises himself
+in liquor, a much less respectable cloak.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Unfortunately the humour of this remark was somewhat
+thrown away on his present audience; indeed, coming
+from a professed clergyman, it produced an unfavourable
+impression.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are not a clergyman?”</span> said the proprietor, suspiciously.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am glad to say I am not,”</span> replied Mr Bunker,
+frankly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Den vat do you do in dis dress?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I put it on as a compliment to the cloth; I retain it at
+present for decency,”</span> said Mr Bunker, whose tongue had
+now got a fair start of him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Mad,”</span> remarked Welsh, confidentially, shrugging his
+shoulders with really excellent dramatic effect.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page213">[pg 213]</span><a name="Pg213" id="Pg213" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">By this time the audience were disposed to agree with
+him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You can give no better account of yourself dan dis?”</span>
+asked the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am anxious to,”</span> replied Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“but a public
+restaurant is not the place in which I choose to give it.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Fetch the cab and the policeman,”</span> said Welsh to a
+waiter.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At this moment another gentleman entered the room,
+and at the sight of him Mr Bunker’s face brightened,
+and he stopped the waiter by a cry of, <span class="tei tei-q">“Wait one moment;
+here comes a gentleman who knows me.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Everybody turned, and beheld a burly, very fashionably
+dressed young man, with a fair moustache and a cheerful
+countenance.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, Bonker!”</span> he cried.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This confirmation of Mr Bunker’s
+<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">aliases</span></span> ought, one
+would expect, to have delighted the two conspirators, but,
+instead, it produced the most remarkable effect. Twiddel
+utterly collapsed, while even Welsh’s impudence at
+last deserted him. Neither said a word as the Baron von
+Blitzenberg greeted his friend with affectionate heartiness.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My friend, zis is good for ze heart! Bot, how? vat
+makes it here?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, the most unfortunate mistake has
+occurred. Two men here&mdash;&mdash;”</span> But at this moment he
+stopped in great surprise, for the Baron was staring hard
+first at Welsh and then at Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah!”</span> he exclaimed, <span class="tei tei-q">“Mr Mandell-Essington, I zink?”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page214">[pg 214]</span><a name="Pg214" id="Pg214" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh hesitated for an instant, and his hesitation was
+evident to all. Then he replied, <span class="tei tei-q">“No, you are mistaken.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Surely I cannot be; you did stay in Fogelschloss?”</span>
+said the Baron. <span class="tei tei-q">“Is not zis Dr Twiddel?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No—er—ah—yes,”</span> stammered Twiddel, looking feebly
+at Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron looked from the one to the other in great
+perplexity, when Mr Bunker, who had been much puzzled
+by this conversation, broke in, <span class="tei tei-q">“Did you call that person
+Mandell-Essington?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I cairtainly zought it vas.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Where did you meet him?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In Bavaria, at my own castle.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are mistaken, sir,”</span> said Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“One moment, Mr Welsh,”</span> said Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“How
+long ago was this, Baron?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Jost before I gom to London. He travelled viz zis
+ozzer gentleman, Dr Twiddel.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You are wrong, sir,”</span> persisted Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“For his health,”</span> added the Baron.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">A light began to dawn on Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“His health?”</span> he cried, and then smiled politely at
+Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“We will talk this over, Mr Welsh.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am sorry I happen to be going,”</span> said Welsh, taking
+his hat and coat.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What, without your lunatic?”</span> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“That is Dr Twiddel’s affair, not mine. Kindly let me
+pass, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, Mr Welsh; if you go now, it will be in the company
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page215">[pg 215]</span><a name="Pg215" id="Pg215" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+of that policeman you were so anxious to send for.”</span>
+There was such an unmistakable threat in Mr Bunker’s
+voice and eye that Welsh hesitated. <span class="tei tei-q">“We will talk it over,
+Mr Welsh,”</span> Mr Bunker repeated distinctly. <span class="tei tei-q">“Kindly sit
+down. I have several things to ask you and your friend
+Dr Twiddel.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Muttering something under his breath, Welsh hung up
+his coat and hat, sat down, and then assuming an air of
+great impudence, remarked, <span class="tei tei-q">“Fire away, Mr
+Mandell-Essington—Beveridge—Bunker,
+or whatever you call yourself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Without paying the slightest attention to this piece of
+humour, Mr Bunker turned to the bewildered proprietor,
+and, to the intense disappointment of the audience, said,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“You can leave us now, thank you; our talk is likely to be
+of a somewhat private nature.”</span> As their gallery withdrew,
+he drew up a chair for the Baron, and all four sat
+round the small table.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Now,”</span> said Mr Bunker to Welsh, <span class="tei tei-q">“you will perhaps
+be kind enough to give me a precise account of your
+doings since the middle of November.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’m d&mdash;&mdash;d if I do,”</span> replied Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Sare,”</span> interposed the Baron in his stateliest manner,
+<span class="tei tei-q">“I know not now who you may be, but I see you are no
+gentleman. Ven you are viz gentlemen—and noblemen—you
+vill please to speak respectfully.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The stare that Welsh attempted in reply was somewhat
+ineffective.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perhaps, Dr Twiddel, you can give the account I
+want?”</span> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page216">[pg 216]</span><a name="Pg216" id="Pg216" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The poor doctor looked at his friend, hesitated, and
+finally stammered out, <span class="tei tei-q">“I—I don’t see why.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed
+it to him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Perhaps this may suggest a why.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">When the doctor saw the bill for Mr Beveridge’s linen,
+the last of his courage ebbed away. He glanced helplessly
+at Welsh, but his ally was now leaning back in his
+chair with such an irritating assumption of indifference,
+and the prospective fee had so obviously vanished, that
+he was suddenly seized with the most virtuous resolutions.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“What do you want to know, sir?”</span> he asked.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“In the first place, how did you come to have anything
+to do with me?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh, whose sharp wits instantly divined the weak
+point in the attack, cut in quickly, <span class="tei tei-q">“Don’t tell him if he
+doesn’t know already!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">But Twiddel’s relapse to virtue was complete. <span class="tei tei-q">“I was
+asked to take charge of you while&mdash;&mdash;”</span> He hesitated.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“While I was unwell,”</span> smiled Mr Bunker. <span class="tei tei-q">“Yes?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I was to travel with you.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ah!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But I—I didn’t like the idea, you see; and so—in
+fact—Welsh suggested that I should take him instead.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“While you locked me up in Clankwood?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Yes.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha, ha!”</span> laughed Mr Bunker, <span class="tei tei-q">“I must say it was
+a devilish humorous idea.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">At this Twiddel began to take heart again.</p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page217">[pg 217]</span><a name="Pg217" id="Pg217" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I am very sorry, sir, for&mdash;&mdash;”</span> he began, when the
+Baron interrupted excitedly.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Zen vat is your name, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span> am Mr
+Mandell-Essington, Baron.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">The Baron looked at the other two in turn with wide-open
+eyes.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Then he turned indignantly upon Welsh.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You were impostor zen, sare? You gom to my house
+and call yourself a gentleman, and impose upon me, and
+tell of your family and your estates. You, a low—er—er—vat
+you say?—a low <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">cad!</span></span>
+Bonker, I cannot sit at ze same table viz zese persons!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">He rose as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“One moment, Baron! Before we send these gentlemen
+back to their really promising career of fraud, I want
+to ask one or two more questions.”</span> He turned to Twiddel.
+<span class="tei tei-q">“What were you to be paid for this?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“£500.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Mr Bunker opened his eyes. <span class="tei tei-q">“That’s the way my
+money goes? From your anxiety to recapture me, I
+presume you have not yet been paid?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, I assure you, Mr Essington,”</span> said Twiddel,
+eagerly; <span class="tei tei-q">“I give you my word.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I shall judge by the circumstances rather than your
+word, sir. It is perhaps unnecessary to inform you that
+you have had your trouble for nothing.”</span> He looked at
+them both as though they were curious animals, and
+then continued: <span class="tei tei-q">“You, Mr Welsh, are a really wonderfully
+typical rascal. I am glad to have met you. You
+can now put on your coat and go.”</span> As Welsh still sat
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page218">[pg 218]</span><a name="Pg218" id="Pg218" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+defiantly, he added, <span class="tei tei-q">“<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">At
+once</span></span>, sir! or you may possibly
+find policemen and four-wheeled cabs outside. I have
+something else to say to Dr Twiddel.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">With the best air he could muster, Welsh silently cocked
+his hat on the side of his head, threw his coat over his arm,
+and was walking out, when a watchful waiter intercepted
+him.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Your bill, sare.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My friend is paying.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“No, Mr Welsh,”</span> cried the real Essington; <span class="tei tei-q">“I think
+you had better pay for this dinner yourself.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">Welsh saw the vigilant proprietor already coming towards
+him, and with a look that augured ill for Twiddel
+when they were alone, he put his hand in his pocket.</p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ha, ha!”</span> laughed Essington, <span class="tei tei-q">“the inevitable bill!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“And now,”</span> he continued, turning to Twiddel, <span class="tei tei-q">“you,
+doctor, seem to me a most unfortunately constructed
+biped; your nose is just long enough to enable you to be
+led into a singularly original adventure, and your brains
+just too few to carry it through creditably. Hang me if I
+wouldn’t have made a better job of the business! But
+before you disappear from the company of gentlemen I
+must ask you to do one favour for me. First thing to-morrow
+morning you will go down to Clankwood, tell
+what lie you please, and obtain my legal discharge, or
+whatever it’s called. After that you may go to the devil—or,
+what comes much to the same thing, to Mr Welsh—for
+all I care. You will do this without fail?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ye—es,”</span> stammered Twiddel, <span class="tei tei-q">“certainly, sir.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“You may now retire—and the faster the better.”</span></p>
+<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page219">[pg 219]</span><a name="Pg219" id="Pg219" class="tei tei-anchor"></a>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">As the crestfallen doctor followed his ally out of the
+restaurant, the Baron exclaimed in disgust, <span class="tei tei-q">“Ze cads!
+You are too merciful. You should punish.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“My dear Baron, after all I am obliged to these rascals
+for the most amusing time I have ever had in my life, and
+one of the best friends I’ve ever made.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ach, Bonker! Bot vat do I say? You are not Bonker
+no more, and yet may I call you so, jost for ze sake of
+pleasant times? It vill be too hard to change.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“I’d rather you would, Baron. It will be a perpetual
+in memoriam record of my departed virtues.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Departed, Bonker?”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Departed, Baron,”</span> his friend repeated with a sigh;
+<span class="tei tei-q">“for how can I ever hope to have so spacious a field for
+them again? Believe me, they will wither in an atmosphere
+of orthodoxy. And now let us order dinner.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“But first,”</span> said the Baron, blushing, <span class="tei tei-q">“I haf a piece of
+news.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Baron, I guess it!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“Ze Lady Alicia is now mine! Congratulate!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em"><span class="tei tei-q">“With all my heart, Baron! What could be a fitter
+finish than the detection of villainy, the marriage of all
+the sane people, and the apotheosis of the lunatic?”</span></p>
+
+<div class="tei tei-tb"> </div>
+
+<p class="tei tei-trailer" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 75%">THE END.</span></p>
+</div>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div class="tei tei-back" style="margin-bottom: 2.00em; margin-top: 6.00em">
+  <hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em">
+    <a name="toc68" id="toc68"></a>
+    <a name="pdf69" id="pdf69"></a>
+    <h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em">
+      <span class="tei tei-hi" style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 125%">ERRATA.</span></span>
+    </h1>
+   
+    <a name="e1" id="e1" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART I.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: he whistled, <a href="#E1" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">The</span></span></a>
+        sounds outside</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: he whistled, <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">the</span></span>
+        sounds outside</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e2" id="e2" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART I.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER VI.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: Ye<a href="#E2" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">-</span></span></a>es.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: Ye<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">—</span></span>es.</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e3" id="e3" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART I.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER VII.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: which that <a href="#E3" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">disapponted</span></span></a>
+        official only</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: which that <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">disappointed</span></span>
+        official only</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e4" id="e4" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART III.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER V.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: something out<a href="#E4" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">.</span></span></a>” he said</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: something out<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">,</span></span>” he said</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e5" id="e5" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER I.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: to me, <a href="#E5" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">$</span></span></a>200 to you</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: to me, <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">£</span></span>200 to you</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e6" id="e6" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER I.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span> let him loose?<a href="#E6" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">’</span></span></a></td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">I</span></span> let him loose?<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">”</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e7" id="e7" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER II.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: <a href="#E7" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"> </span></a>Indeed?
+        Why not?”</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">“</span></span>Indeed?
+        Why not?”</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e8" id="e8" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER III.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: on his <a href="#E8" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">wideawake</span></span></a> hat and</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: on his <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">wide-awake</span></span> hat and</td></tr></tbody></table>
+
+    <a name="e9" id="e9" class="tei tei-anchor"></a><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">PART IV.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">CHAPTER III.</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Changed: “What <a href="#E9" class="tei tei-ref"><span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">nime</span></span></a>, sir?”
+      </td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">To: “What <span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-weight: 700">name</span></span>, sir?”
+      </td></tr></tbody></table>
+  </div>
+
+  <hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 5.00em; margin-top: 5.00em"> 
+    <div id="pgfooter" class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 4.00em; margin-top: 4.00em"><pre class="pre tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em">***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+</pre><hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em"><a name="rightpageheader70" id="rightpageheader70"></a><a name="pgtoc71" id="pgtoc71"></a><a name="pdf72" id="pdf72"></a><h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: left; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em"><span style="font-size: 173%">Credits</span></h1><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr><th class="tei tei-label tei-label-gloss">January 30, 2007  </th></tr><tr><td class="tei tei-item"><table summary="This is a list." class="tei tei-list" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em; margin-top: 1.00em"><tbody><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item">Project Gutenberg Edition</td></tr><tr class="tei tei-labelitem"><th class="tei tei-label"></th><td class="tei tei-item"><span class="tei tei-respStmt">
+        <span class="tei tei-name">Roland Schlenker and<br /></span>
+        <span class="tei tei-name">Online Distributed Proofreading Team</span>
+      </span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></div><hr class="doublepage" /><div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em"><a name="rightpageheader73" id="rightpageheader73"></a><a name="pgtoc74" id="pgtoc74"></a><a name="pdf75" id="pdf75"></a><h1 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: left; margin-bottom: 3.46em; margin-top: 3.46em"><span style="font-size: 173%">A Word from Project Gutenberg</span></h1><p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">This file should be named 
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
+
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no
+restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under
+the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or
+online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+
+Title: The Lunatic at Large
+
+Author: J. Storer Clouston
+
+Release Date: January 30, 2007 [Ebook #20485]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-88591-1
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+      <author><name reg="Clouston, J. Storer">J. Storer Clouston</name></author>
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+      <edition n="1">Edition 1</edition>
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+      <publisher>Project Gutenberg</publisher>
+      <date value="2007-01-30">January 30, 2007</date>
+      <idno type="etext-no">20485</idno>
+      <idno type='DPid'>projectID4536decf9d134</idno>
+      <availability>
+        <p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and
+        with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it
+        away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg
+        License online at www.gutenberg.org/license</p>
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+        <title>The Lunatic at Large</title>
+        <author>J. Storer Clouston</author>
+        <imprint>
+          <publisher>Brentano's</publisher>
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+          <date>1915</date>
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+      <p>Corrections were made when it was obvious a mistake was made
+      in the original text. An errata is supplied to locate these
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+        <hi rend="font-size: 175%">THE</hi><lb/>
+        <hi rend="font-size: 200%">LUNATIC AT LARGE</hi><lb/>
+        <lb/>
+      </titlePart>
+      <titlePart>
+        <hi rend="font-size: 150%; font-style: italic">A NOVEL</hi><lb/>
+        <lb/>
+      </titlePart>
+    </docTitle>
+    <byline>
+      <hi rend="font-size: 75%">BY</hi><lb/>
+      <docAuthor>
+        <hi rend="font-size: 100%">J. STORER CLOUSTON</hi><lb/>
+        <lb/>
+      </docAuthor>
+    </byline>
+    <docEdition>
+      <hi rend="font-size: 75%">AUTHORIZED EDITION</hi><lb/>
+      <lb/>
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+      <hi rend="font-size: 125%">BRENTANO&rsquo;S</hi><lb/>
+      <hi rend="font-size: 100%">NEW YORK</hi><lb/>
+    </docImprint>
+    <docDate>
+      <hi rend="font-size: 100%">1915</hi><lb/>
+    </docDate>
+  </titlePage>
+
+  <div rend="page-break-before: right">
+    <index index="pdf"/>
+    <head rend="text-align: center">CONTENTS</head>
+    <divGen type="toc"/>
+  </div>
+</front>
+
+<body>
+<!-- <pb n="1"/><anchor id="Pg1"/>
+
+THE LUNATIC AT LARGE -->
+
+<!-- <pb n="2"/><anchor id="Pg2"/>
+[Blank Page] -->
+
+<!-- <pb n="3"/><anchor id="Pg3"/>
+
+THE
+LUNATIC AT LARGE
+
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">A NOVEL</hi>
+
+BY
+J. STORER CLOUSTON
+
+AUTHORIZED EDITION
+
+BRENTANO&rsquo;S
+NEW YORK
+1915 -->
+
+<!-- <pb n="4"/><anchor id="Pg4"/>
+[Blank Page] -->
+
+<div rend="page-break-before: right" id="LLi"  type="introductory">
+<pb n="5"/><anchor id="Pg5"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head type="sub" rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 150%">THE LUNATIC AT LARGE.</hi>
+</head>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 125%">INTRODUCTORY.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>Into the history of Mr Francis Beveridge, as supplied
+by the obliging candour of the Baron von
+Blitzenberg and the notes of Dr Escott, Dr Twiddel
+and his friend Robert Welsh make a kind of
+explanatory entry. They most effectually set the ball
+a-rolling, and so the story starts in a small room looking
+out on a very uninteresting London street.</p>
+
+<p>It was about three o&rsquo;clock on a November afternoon,
+that season of fogs and rains and mud, when towns-people
+long for fresh air and hillsides, and country-folk
+think wistfully of the warmth and lights of a city, when
+nobody is satisfied, and everybody has a cold. Outside
+the window of the room there were a few feet of earth
+adorned with a low bush or two, a line of railings, a stone-paved
+street, and on the other side a long row of uniform
+yellow brick houses. The apartment itself was a modest
+chamber, containing a minimum of rented furniture and
+a flickering gas-stove. By a small caseful of medical
+treatises and a conspicuous stethoscope, the least experienced
+could see that it was labelled consulting-room.</p>
+<pb n="6"/><anchor id="Pg6"/>
+
+<p>Dr Twiddel was enjoying one of those moments of
+repose that occur even in the youngest practitioner&rsquo;s
+existence. For the purposes of this narrative he may briefly
+be described as an amiable-looking young man, with a
+little bit of fair moustache and still less chin, no practice
+to speak of, and a considerable quantity of unpaid bills.
+A man of such features and in such circumstances invites
+temptation. At the present moment, though his waistcoat
+was unbuttoned and his feet rested on the mantelpiece,
+his mind seemed not quite at ease. He looked
+back upon a number of fortunate events that had not
+occurred, and forward to various unpleasant things that
+might occur, and then he took a letter from his pocket
+and read it abstractedly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I can&rsquo;t afford to refuse,</q> he reflected, lugubriously;
+<q>and yet, hang it! I must say I don&rsquo;t fancy the job.</q></p>
+
+<p>When metal is molten it can be poured into any vessel;
+and at that moment a certain deep receptacle stood on the
+very doorstep.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor heard the bell, sat up briskly, stuffed the
+letter back into his pocket, and buttoned his waistcoat.</p>
+
+<p><q>A patient at last!</q> and instantly there arose a
+vision of a simple operation, a fabulous fee, and twelve
+sickly millionaires an hour ever after. The door opened,
+and a loud voice hailed him familiarly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Only Welsh,</q> he sighed, and the vision went the way
+of all the others.</p>
+
+<p>The gentleman who swaggered in and clapped the
+doctor on the back, who next threw himself into the
+easiest chair and his hat and coat over the table, was in
+<pb n="7"/><anchor id="Pg7"/>
+fact Mr Robert Welsh. From the moment he entered
+he pervaded the room; the stethoscope seemed to grow
+less conspicuous, Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s chin more diminutive,
+the apartment itself a mere background to this guest.
+Why? It would be hard to say precisely. He was a
+black-moustached, full-faced man, with an air of the
+most consummate assurance, and a person by some
+deemed handsome. Yet somehow or other he inevitably
+recalled the uncles of history. Perhaps this assurance
+alone gave him his atmosphere. You could have felt
+his egotism in the dark.</p>
+
+<p>He talked in a loud voice and with a great air of mastery
+over all the contingencies of a life about town. You
+felt that here sat one who had seen the world and gave
+things their proper proportions, who had learned how
+meretricious was orthodoxy, and which bars could really
+be recommended. He chaffed, patronised, and cheered
+the doctor. Patients had been scarce, had they? Well,
+after all, there were many consolations. Did Twiddle
+say he was hard up? Welsh himself in an even more
+evil case. He narrated various unfortunate transactions
+connected with the turf and other pursuits, with regret,
+no doubt, and yet with a fine rakish defiance of destiny.
+Twiddel&rsquo;s face cleared, and he began to show something
+of the same gallant spirit. He brought out a tall bottle
+with a Celtic superscription; Welsh half filled his glass,
+poured in some water from a dusty decanter, and proposed
+the toast of <q>Luck to the two most deserving sinners in
+London!</q></p>
+
+<p>The doctor was fired, he drew the same letter from his
+<pb n="8"/><anchor id="Pg8"/>
+pocket, and cried, <q>By Jove, Welsh, I&rsquo;d almost forgotten
+to tell you of a lucky offer that came this morning.</q></p>
+
+<p>This was not strictly true, for as a matter of fact the
+doctor had only hesitated to tell of this offer lest he should
+be shamed to a decision. But Welsh was infectious.</p>
+
+<p><q>Congratulations, old man!</q> said his friend. <q>What&rsquo;s
+it all about?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Here&rsquo;s a letter from an old friend of my
+people&rsquo;s&mdash;Dr Watson, by name. He has a very good
+country practice, and he offers me this job.</q></p>
+
+<p>He handed the letter to Welsh, and then added, with a
+flutter of caution, <q>I haven&rsquo;t made up my mind yet.
+There are drawbacks, as you&rsquo;ll see.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh opened the letter and read:&mdash;</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q><hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">Dear Twiddel</hi>,&mdash;I
+  am happy to tell you that I am
+  at last able to put something in your way. A gentleman
+  in this neighbourhood, one of my most esteemed patients,
+  has lately suffered from a severe mental and physical
+  shock, followed by brain fever, and is still, I regret to
+  say, in an extremely unstable mental condition. I have
+  strongly recommended quiet and change of scene, and at
+  my suggestion he is to be sent abroad under the care of a
+  medical attendant. I have now much pleasure in offering
+  you the post, if you would care to accept it. You will
+  find your patient, Mr Mandell-Essington, an extremely
+  agreeable young man when in possession of his proper
+  faculties. He has large means and no near relatives;
+  he comes of one of the best families in the county; and
+  though he has, I surmise, sown his wild oats pretty freely,
+  he was considered of unusual promise previous to this
+  unfortunate illness. He is of an amiable and pleasant
+  disposition, though at present, we fear, inclined to suicidal
+  <pb n="9"/><anchor id="Pg9"/>
+  tendencies. I have no particular reason to think he is
+  at all homicidal; still, you will see that he naturally requires
+  most careful watching. It is possible that you may
+  hesitate to leave your practice (which I trust prospers);
+  but as the responsibility is considerable, the fee will be
+  proportionately generous&mdash;�500, and all expenses paid.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><hi rend="font-size: 100%">(<q>Five hundred quid!</q> exclaimed
+  Welsh.)</hi></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">I would suggest a trip on the Continent. The
+  duration and the places to be visited will be entirely at your
+  discretion. It is of course hardly necessary to say that
+  you will seek quiet localities. Trusting to hear from you
+  at your very earliest convenience, believe me, yours sincerely,</q></p>
+
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none">
+  <hi rend="font-variant: small-caps;">Timothy Watson</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p>Welsh looked at his friend with the respect that prosperity
+naturally excites. He smiled on him as an equal,
+and cried, heartily, <q>Congratulations again! When do
+you start?</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel fidgeted uncomfortably, <q>I&mdash;er&mdash;well, you
+see&mdash;ah&mdash;I haven&rsquo;t
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">quite</hi> made up my mind yet.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What&rsquo;s the matter?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hang it, Welsh&mdash;er&mdash;the fact is I don&rsquo;t altogether
+like the job.</q></p>
+
+<p>Scruples of any kind always surprised Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>Can&rsquo;t afford to leave the practice?</q> he asked with
+a laugh.</p>
+
+<p><q>That&rsquo;s&mdash;ah&mdash;partly the reason,</q> replied Twiddel,
+uncomfortably.</p>
+
+<p><q>Rot, old man! There&rsquo;s a girl in the case. Out
+with it!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, it isn&rsquo;t that. You see it&rsquo;s the very devil of a
+responsibility.</q></p>
+<pb n="10"/><anchor id="Pg10"/>
+
+<p>At this confession of weakness he looked guiltily at his
+heroic friend. From the bottom of his heart he wished
+he had screwed up his courage in private. Welsh had so
+little imagination.</p>
+
+<p><q>By Gad,</q> exclaimed Welsh, <q>I&rsquo;d manage a nunnery
+for �500!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly
+homicidal, lunatic isn&rsquo;t a nunnery.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.</p>
+
+<p><q>Then you are going to chuck up �500 and a free trip
+on the Continent?</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dr Watson himself admits the responsibility.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With a&mdash;what is it?&mdash;agreeable young man?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Only when in possession of his proper faculties,</q>
+said the doctor, dismally.</p>
+
+<p><q>And an amiable disposition?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With suicidal tendencies, hang it!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I should have thought,</q> said Welsh, with a laugh,
+<q>that they would only matter to himself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But he is homicidal too&mdash;or at least it&rsquo;s doubtful.
+I want to know a little more about that, thank you!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What is the man&rsquo;s name?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mandell-Essington.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Sounds aristocratic. He might come in useful afterwards,
+when he&rsquo;s cured.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh spoke with an air of reflection, which might have
+been entirely disinterested.</p>
+
+<p><q>He&rsquo;d probably commit suicide first,</q> said Twiddel,
+<q>and of course I&rsquo;d get all the blame.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Or homicide,</q> replied Welsh, <q>When
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">he</hi> would.</q></p>
+<pb n="11"/><anchor id="Pg11"/>
+
+<p><q>No, he wouldn&rsquo;t&mdash;that&rsquo;s the worst of it;
+I&rsquo;d be blamed for having my own throat cut.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Twiddel,</q> said his friend, deliberately, <q>it seems to
+me you&rsquo;re a fool.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m at least alive,</q> cried Twiddel, warming with
+sympathy for himself, <q>which I probably wouldn&rsquo;t be for
+long in Mr Essington&rsquo;s company.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I don&rsquo;t blame your nerves, dear boy,</q> said Welsh,
+with a smile that showed all his teeth, <q>only your head.
+Here are �500 going a-begging. There must be some
+way&qdash;</q> He paused, deep in reflection. <q>How would
+it do,</q> he remarked in a minute, <q>if
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi> were to go in your place?</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel laughed and shook his head.</p>
+
+<p><q>Couldn&rsquo;t be managed?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Couldn&rsquo;t possibly, I&rsquo;m afraid.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No,</q> said Welsh. <q>I foresee difficulties.</q></p>
+
+<p>He fished a pipe out of his pocket, filled and lit it, and
+leaned back in his chair gazing at the ceiling.</p>
+
+<p><q>Twiddel, my boy,</q> he said at length, <q>will you give
+me a percentage of the fee if I think of a safe dodge for
+getting the money and preserving your throat?</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel laughed.</p>
+
+<p><q>Rather!</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am perfectly serious,</q> replied Welsh, keenly. <q>I&rsquo;m
+certain the thing is quite possible.</q></p>
+
+<p>He half closed his eyes and ruminated in silence. The
+doctor watched him&mdash;fascinated, afraid. Somehow or
+other he felt that he was already a kind of Guy Fawkes.
+There was something so unlawful in Welsh&rsquo;s expression.</p>
+<pb n="12"/><anchor id="Pg12"/>
+
+<p>They sat there without speaking for about ten minutes,
+and then all of a sudden Welsh sprang up with a shout of
+laughter, slapping first his own leg and then the doctor&rsquo;s
+back.</p>
+
+<p><q>By Gad, I&rsquo;ve got it!</q> he cried. <q>I have it!</q></p>
+
+<p>And he had; hence this tale.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div rend="page-break-before: always" id="LL0100" type="part">
+<pb n="13"/><anchor id="Pg13"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 125%">PART I.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<div id="LL0101" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>In a certain fertile and well-wooded county of England
+there stands a high stone wall. On a sunny
+day the eye of the traveller passing through this
+province is gratified by the sparkle of myriads of
+broken bottles arranged closely and continuously along its
+coping-stone. Above these shining facets the boughs of
+tall trees swing in the wind and throw their shadows
+across the highway. The wall at last leaves the road and
+follows the park round its entire extent. Its height never
+varies; the broken bottles glitter perpetually; and only
+through two entrances, and that when the gates are open,
+can one gain a single glimpse inside: for the gates are
+solid, with no chinks for the curious.</p>
+
+<p>The country all round is undulating, and here and
+there from the crest of an eminence you can see a great
+space of well-timbered park land within this wall; and
+in winter, when the leaves are off the trees, you may
+spy an imposing red-brick mansion in the midst.</p>
+
+<p>Any native will inform you, with a mixture of infectious
+awe and becoming pride, that this is no less than the
+far-famed private asylum of Clankwood.</p>
+
+<p>This ideal institution bore the enviable reputation of
+<pb n="14"/><anchor id="Pg14"/>
+containing the best-bred lunatics in England. It was
+credibly reported that however well marked their symptoms
+and however well developed their delusions, none but
+ladies and gentlemen of the most unblemished descent
+were permitted to enjoy its seclusion. The dances there
+were universally considered the most agreeable functions
+in the county. The conversation of many of the inmates
+was of the widest range and the most refreshing
+originality, and the demeanour of all, even when most
+free from the conventional trammels of outside society,
+bore evidence of an expensive, and in some cases of a
+Christian, upbringing. This is scarcely to be wondered
+at, when beneath one roof were assembled the heirs-presumptive
+to three dukedoms, two suicidal marquises,
+an odd archbishop or so, and the flower of the baronetage
+and clergy. As this list only includes a few of the celebrities
+able or willing to be introduced to distinguished
+visitors, and makes no mention of the uncorroborated
+dignities (such as the classical divinities and Old Testament
+duplicates), the anxiety shown by some people to
+certify their relations can easily be understood.</p>
+
+<p>Dr Congleton, the proprietor and physician of Clankwood,
+was a gentleman singularly well fitted to act as
+host on the occasion of asylum reunions. No one could
+exceed him in the respect he showed to a coroneted head,
+even when cracked; and a bishop under his charge was
+always secured, as far as possible, from the least whisper
+of heretical conversation. He possessed besides a pleasant
+rubicund countenance and an immaculate wardrobe.
+He was further fortunate in having in his assistants,
+<pb n="15"/><anchor id="Pg15"/>
+Dr Escott and Dr Sherlaw, two young gentlemen whose
+medical knowledge was almost equal to the affability
+of their manners and the excellence of their family connections.</p>
+
+<p>One November night these two were sitting over a
+comfortable fire in Sherlaw&rsquo;s room. Twelve o&rsquo;clock
+struck, Escott finished the remains of something in a
+tumbler, rose, and yawned sleepily.</p>
+
+<p><q>Time to turn in, young man,</q> said he.</p>
+
+<p><q>I suppose it is,</q> replied Sherlaw, a very pleasant
+and boyish young gentleman. <q>Hullo! What&rsquo;s that?
+A cab?</q></p>
+
+<p>They both listened, and some way off they could just
+pick out a sound like wheels upon gravel.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s very late for any one to be coming in,</q> said
+Escott.</p>
+
+<p>The sound grew clearer and more unmistakably like a
+cab rattling quickly up the drive.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is a cab,</q> said Sherlaw.</p>
+
+<p>They heard it draw up before the front door, and then
+there came a pause.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who the deuce can it be?</q> muttered Escott.</p>
+
+<p>In a few minutes there came a knock at the door, and
+a servant entered.</p>
+
+<p><q>A new case, sir. Want&rsquo;s to
+see Dr Congleton particular.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A man or a woman?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Man, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All right,</q> growled Sherlaw. <q>I&rsquo;ll come, confound
+him.</q></p>
+<pb n="16"/><anchor id="Pg16"/>
+
+<p><q>Bad luck, old man,</q> laughed Escott. <q>I&rsquo;ll wait
+here in case by any chance you want me.</q></p>
+
+<p>He fell into his chair again, lit a cigarette, and sleepily
+turned over the pages of a book. Dr Sherlaw was away
+for a little time, and when he returned his cheerful face
+wore a somewhat mystified expression.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well?</q> asked Escott.</p>
+
+<p><q>Rather a rum case,</q> said his colleague, thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>What&rsquo;s the matter?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Who was it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t know that either.</q></p>
+
+<p>Escott opened his eyes.</p>
+
+<p><q>What happened, then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well,</q> said Sherlaw, drawing his chair up to the fire
+again, <q rend="post: none">I&rsquo;ll tell you just what did happen,
+and you can make what you can out of it. Of course, I suppose
+it&rsquo;s all right, really, but&mdash;well, the proceedings were
+a little unusual, don&rsquo;t you know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">I went down to the door, and there I found
+a four-wheeler with a man standing beside it. The door of
+the cab was shut, and there seemed to be two more men
+inside. This chap who&rsquo;d got out&mdash;a youngish man&mdash;hailed
+me at once as though he&rsquo;d bought the whole
+place.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>You Dr Congleton?</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>Damn your impertinence!</q>
+I said to myself, <q>ringing people up at this hour, and
+talking like a bally drill-sergeant.</q></q></p>
+<pb n="17"/><anchor id="Pg17"/>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">I told him politely I wasn&rsquo;t
+old Congers, but that I&rsquo;d make a good enough substitute
+for the likes of him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>I tell you what it is,</q> said the
+Johnnie, <q>I&rsquo;ve brought a patient for Dr Congleton, a
+cousin of mine, and I&rsquo;ve got a doctor here, too. I want
+to see Dr Congleton.</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>He&rsquo;s probably in bed,</q> I said,
+<q>but I&rsquo;ll do just as well. I suppose he&rsquo;s certified,
+and all that.</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>Oh, it&rsquo;s all right,</q> said the
+man, rather as though he expected me to say that it wasn&rsquo;t.
+He looked a little doubtful what to do, and then I heard some one
+inside the cab call him. He stuck his head in the window and
+they confabbed for a minute, and then he turned to me
+and said, with the most magnificent air you ever saw,
+like a chap buying a set of diamond studs, <q>My friend here
+is a great personal friend of Dr Congleton, and it&rsquo;s a
+damned&qdash; I mean it&rsquo;s an uncommonly delicate matter.
+We must see him.</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>Well, if you insist, I&rsquo;ll see
+if I can get him,</q> I said;
+<q>but you&rsquo;d better come in and wait.</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">So the Johnnie opened the door of the
+cab, and there was a great hauling and pushing, my friend pulling
+an arm from the outside, and the doctor shoving from within,
+and at last they fetched out their patient. He was a
+tall man, in a very smart-looking, long, light top-coat,
+and a cap with a large peak shoved over his eyes, and he
+seemed very unsteady on his pins.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>Drunk, by George!</q> I said to myself
+at first.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">The doctor&mdash;another young-looking
+man&mdash;hopped out after him, and they each took an arm, lugged
+their patient into the waiting-room, and popped him into an armchair.
+<pb n="18"/><anchor id="Pg18"/>
+There he collapsed, and sat with his head hanging
+down as limp as a sucked orange.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">I asked them if anything was the matter
+with him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>Only tired,&mdash;just a little
+sleepy,</q> said the cousin.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And do you know, Escott, what I&rsquo;d stake my best
+boots was the matter with him?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The man was drugged!</q></p>
+
+<p>Escott looked at the fire thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well,</q> he said, <q>it&rsquo;s quite possible; he might have
+been too violent to manage.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Why couldn&rsquo;t they have said so, then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>H&rsquo;m. Not knowing, can&rsquo;t say. What happened
+next?</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none">Next thing was, I asked the doctor what
+name I should give. He answered in a kind of nervous way, <q>No
+name; you needn&rsquo;t give any name. I know Dr Congleton
+personally. Ask him to come, please.</q> So off I tooled, and
+found old Congers just thinking of turning in.</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><q>My clients are sometimes unnecessarily
+discreet</q>, he remarked in his pompous way when I told him about
+the arrival, and of course he added his usual platitude
+about our reputation for discretion.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I went back with him to the waiting-room, and just
+stood at the door long enough to see him hail the doctor
+chap very cordially and be introduced to the patient&rsquo;s
+cousin, and then I came away. Rather rum, isn&rsquo;t
+it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You&rsquo;ve certainly made the best of the yarn,</q> said
+Escott with a laugh.</p>
+<pb n="19"/><anchor id="Pg19"/>
+
+<p><q>By George, if you&rsquo;d been there you&rsquo;d have thought
+it funny too.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, good-night, I&rsquo;m off. We&rsquo;ll probably hear
+to-morrow what it&rsquo;s all about.</q></p>
+
+<p>But in the morning there was little more to be learned
+about the new-comer&rsquo;s history and antecedents. Dr
+Congleton spoke of the matter to the two young men,
+with the pompous cough that signified extreme discretion.</p>
+
+<p><q>Brought by an old friend of mine,</q> he said. <q>A
+curious story, Escott, but quite intelligible. There seem
+to be the best reasons for answering no questions about
+him; you understand?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly, sir,</q> said the two assistants, with the more
+assurance as they had no information to give.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am perfectly satisfied, mind you&mdash;perfectly satisfied,</q>
+added their chief.</p>
+
+<p><q>By the way, sir,</q> Sherlaw ventured to remark, <q>hadn&rsquo;t
+they given him something in the way of a sleeping-draught?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Eh? Indeed? I hardly think so, Sherlaw, I hardly
+think so. Case of reaction entirely. Good morning.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Congleton seems satisfied,</q> remarked Escott.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;ll tell you what,</q> said the junior, profoundly.
+<q>Old Congers is a very good chap, and all that, but he&rsquo;s
+not what I should call extra sharp.
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi> should feel uncommon
+suspicious.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>H&rsquo;m,</q> replied Escott. <q>As you say, our worthy
+chief is not extra sharp. But that&rsquo;s not our business,
+after all.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0102" type="chapter">
+<pb n="20"/><anchor id="Pg20"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p><q>By the way,</q> said Escott, a couple of days later,
+<q>how is your mysterious man getting on? I haven&rsquo;t
+seen him myself yet.</q></p>
+
+<p>Sherlaw laughed.</p>
+
+<p><q>He&rsquo;s turning out a regular sportsman, by George!
+For the first day he was more or less in the same state in
+which he arrived. Then he began to wake up and ask
+questions. <q>What the devil is this place?</q> he said to me
+in the evening. It may sound profane, but he was very
+polite, I assure you. I told him, and he sort of raised
+his eyebrows, smiled, and thanked me like a Prime
+Minister acknowledging an obligation. Since then he
+has steadily developed sporting, not to say frisky, tastes.
+He went out this morning, and in five minutes had his
+arm round one of the prettiest nurses&rsquo; waist. And she
+didn&rsquo;t seem to mind much either, by George!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He&rsquo;ll want a bit of looking after, I take it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Seems to me he is uncommonly capable of taking
+care of himself. The rest of the establishment will want
+looking after, though.</q></p>
+
+<p>From this time forth the mysterious gentleman began
+to regularly take the air and to be remarked, and having
+once remarked him, people looked again.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Francis Beveridge, for such it appeared was his
+name, was distinguished even for Clankwood. Though
+his antecedents were involved in mystery, so much confidence
+<pb n="21"/><anchor id="Pg21"/>
+was placed in Dr Congleton&rsquo;s discrimination
+that the unknown stranger was at once received on the
+most friendly terms by every one; and, to tell the truth,
+it would have been hard to repulse him for long. His
+manner was perfect, his conversation witty to the extremest
+verge of propriety, and his clothes, fashionable
+in cut and of unquestionable fit, bore on such of the
+buttons as were made of metal the hall mark of a leading
+London firm. He wore the longest and most silky
+moustaches ever seen, and beneath them a short well-tended
+beard completed his resemblance&mdash;so the ladies
+declared&mdash;to King Charles of unhappy memory. The
+melancholic Mr Jones (quondam author of &lsquo;Sunflowers&mdash;A
+Lyrical Medley&rsquo;) declared, indeed, that for Mr
+Beveridge shaving was prohibited, and darkly whispered
+<q>suicidal,</q> but his opinion was held of little account.</p>
+
+<p>It was upon a morning about a week after his arrival
+that Dr Escott, alone in the billiard-room, saw him enter.
+Escott had by this time made his acquaintance, and,
+like almost everybody else, had already succumbed to
+the fascination of his address.</p>
+
+<p><q>Good morning, doctor,</q> he said; <q>I wish you to do
+me a trifling favour, a mere bending of your eyes.</q></p>
+
+<p>Escott laughed.</p>
+
+<p><q>I shall be delighted. What is it?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge unbuttoned his waistcoat and displayed
+his shirt-front.</p>
+
+<p><q>I only want you to be good enough to read the inscription
+written here.</q></p>
+
+<p>The doctor bent down.</p>
+<pb n="22"/><anchor id="Pg22"/>
+
+<p><q><q>Francis Beveridge,</q></q> he said. <q>That&rsquo;s
+all I see.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And that&rsquo;s all I see,</q> said Mr Beveridge. <q>Now
+what can you read here? I am not troubling you?</q></p>
+
+<p>He held out his handkerchief as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p><q>Not a bit,</q> laughed the doctor, <q>but I only see <q>Francis
+Beveridge</q> here too, I&rsquo;m afraid.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Everything has got it,</q> said Mr Beveridge, shaking
+his head, it would be hard to say whether humorously
+or sadly. <q><q>Francis Beveridge</q> on everything. It follows,
+I suppose, that I am Francis Beveridge?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What else?</q> asked Escott, who was much amused.</p>
+
+<p><q>That&rsquo;s just it. What else?</q> said the other. He
+smiled a peculiarly charming smile, thanked the doctor
+with exaggerated gratitude, and strolled out again.</p>
+
+<p><q>He is a rum chap,</q> reflected Escott.</p>
+
+<p>And indeed in the outside world he might safely have
+been termed rather rum, but here in this backwater,
+so full of the oddest flotsam, his waywardness was rather
+less than the average. He had, for instance, a diverting
+habit of modifying the time, and even the tune, of the
+hymns on Sunday, and he confessed to having kissed
+all the nurses and housemaids except three. But both
+Escott and Sherlaw declared they had never met a more
+congenial spirit. Mr Beveridge&rsquo;s game of billiards was
+quite remarkable even for Clankwood, where the enforced
+leisure of many of the noblemen and gentlemen had
+made them highly proficient on the spot; he showed every
+promise, on his rare opportunities, of being an unusually
+entertaining small hour, whisky-and-soda
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">raconteur</hi>; in
+fact, he was evidently a man whose previous career,
+<pb n="23"/><anchor id="Pg23"/>
+whatever it might have been (and his own statements
+merely served to increase the mystery round this point),
+had led him through many humorous by-paths, and left
+him with few restrictive prejudices.</p>
+
+<p>November became December, and to all appearances
+he had settled down in his new residence with complete
+resignation, when that unknowable factor that upsets so
+many calculations came upon the scene,&mdash;the factor, I
+mean, that wears a petticoat.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge strolled into Escott&rsquo;s room one morning
+to find the doctor inspecting a mixed assortment of white
+kid gloves.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do these mean past or future conquests?</q> he asked
+with his smile.</p>
+
+<p><q>Both,</q> laughed the doctor. <q>I&rsquo;m trying to pick out
+a clean pair for the dance to-night.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You go a-dancing, then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t you know it&rsquo;s our own monthly ball here?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Of course,</q> said Mr Beveridge, passing his hand
+quickly across his brow. <q>I must have heard, but things
+pass so quickly through my head nowadays.</q></p>
+
+<p>He laughed a little conventional laugh, and gazed at
+the gloves.</p>
+
+<p><q>You are coming, of course?</q> said Escott.</p>
+
+<p><q>If you can lend me a pair of these. Can you spare
+one?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Help yourself,</q> replied the doctor.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge selected a pair with the care of a man
+who is particular in such matters, put them in his pocket,
+thanked the doctor, and went out.</p>
+<pb n="24"/><anchor id="Pg24"/>
+
+<p><q>Hope he doesn&rsquo;t play the fool,</q> thought Escott.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations to the balls at Clankwood were naturally
+in great demand throughout the county, for nowhere
+were noblemen so numerous and divinities so tangible.
+Carriages and pairs rolled up one after another, the
+mansion glittered with lights, the strains of the band
+could be heard loud and stirring or low and faintly all
+through the house.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who is that man dancing opposite my daughter?</q>
+asked the Countess of Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p><q>A Mr Beveridge,</q> replied Dr Congleton.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge, in fact, the mark of all eyes, was dancing
+in a set of lancers. The couple opposite to him consisted
+of a stout elderly gentleman who, doubtless for the best
+reasons, styled himself the Emperor of the two Americas,
+and a charming little pink and flaxen partner&mdash;the Lady
+Alicia � Fyre, as everybody who was anybody could have
+told you. The handsome stranger moved, as might be
+expected, with his accustomed grace and air of distinction,
+and, probably to convince his admirers that there
+was nothing meretricious in his performance, he carried
+his hands in his pockets the whole time. This certainly
+caused a little inconvenience to his partner, but to be
+characteristic in Clankwood one had to step very far out
+of the beaten track.</p>
+
+<p>For two figures the Emperor snorted disapproval,
+but at the end of the third, when Mr Beveridge had been
+skipping round the outskirts of the set, his hands still
+thrust out of sight, somewhat to the derangement of the
+customary procedure, he could contain himself no longer.</p>
+<pb n="25"/><anchor id="Pg25"/>
+
+<p><q>Hey, young man!</q> he asked in his most stentorian
+voice, as the music ceased, <q>are you afraid of having your
+pockets picked?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Alas!</q> replied Mr Beveridge, <q>it would take two men
+to do that.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Huh!</q> snorted the Emperor, <q>you are so d&mdash;d strong,
+are you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I mean,</q> answered his
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">vis-�-vis</hi> with his polite smile,
+<q>that it would take one man to put something in and
+another to take it out.</q></p>
+
+<p>This remark not only turned the laugh entirely on Mr
+Beveridge&rsquo;s side, but it introduced the upsetting factor.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0103" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Lady Alicia � Fyre, though of the outer everyday
+world herself, had, in common with most families of any
+pretensions to ancient dignity, a creditable sprinkling
+of uncles and cousins domiciled in Clankwood, and so
+she frequently attended these dances.</p>
+
+<p>To-night her eye had been caught by a tall, graceful
+figure executing a <hi rend="font-style: italic">pas seul</hi>
+in the middle of the room with
+its hands in its pockets. The face of this gentleman was
+so composed and handsome, and he seemed so oblivious
+to the presence of everybody else, that her interest was
+immediately excited. During the set of lancers in which
+he was her <hi rend="font-style: italic">vis-�-vis</hi> she
+watched him furtively with a
+growing feeling of admiration. She had never heard him
+<pb n="26"/><anchor id="Pg26"/>
+say a word, and it was with a sensation of the liveliest
+interest that she listened to his brief passage with her
+partner. At his final retort her tender heart was overcome
+with pity. He was poor, then, or at least he was
+allowed the use of no money. And all of him that was
+outside his pockets seemed so sane and so gentlemanly;
+it seemed a pity to let him lack a little sympathy.</p>
+
+<p>The Lady Alicia might be described as a becoming
+frock stuffed with sentiment. Through a pair of large
+blue eyes she drank in romance, and with the reddest
+and most undecided of lips she felt a vague desire to kiss
+something. At the end of the dance she managed by
+a series of little man&oelig;uvres to find herself standing close
+to his elbow. She sighed twice, but he still seemed absorbed
+in his thoughts. Then with a heroic effort she
+summed up her courage, and said in a low and rather
+shaky voice, <q>You&mdash;you&mdash;you are unha&mdash;appy.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge turned and looked down on her with
+great interest. Her eyes met his for a moment and
+straightway sought the floor. Thus she saw nothing of
+a smile that came and went like the shadow of a puff of
+smoke. He took his hands out of his pockets, folded his
+arms, and, with an air of the deepest dejection, sighed
+heavily. She took courage and looked up again, and then,
+as he only gazed into space in the most romantically melancholy
+fashion and made no answer, she asked again
+very timidly, <q>Wh&mdash;what is the matter?</q></p>
+
+<p>Without saying a word Mr Beveridge bent courteously
+and offered her his right arm. She took it with the
+most delicious trepidation, glancing round hurriedly to see
+<pb n="27"/><anchor id="Pg27"/>
+whether the Countess noticed her. Another dance was
+just beginning, and in the general movement her mysterious
+acquaintance led her without observation to a
+seat in the window of a corridor. There he pressed her
+hand gently, stroked his long moustaches for a minute,
+and then said, with an air of reflection: <q>There are three
+ways of making a woman like one. I am slightly out of
+practice. Would you be kind enough to suggest a
+method of procedure?</q></p>
+
+<p>Such a beginning was so wholly unexpected that Lady
+Alicia could only give a little gasp of consternation.
+Her companion, after pausing an instant for a reply,
+went on in the same tone, <q>I am aware that I have begun
+well. I attracted your attention, I elicited your sympathy,
+and I pressed your hand; but for the life of me I can&rsquo;t
+remember what I generally do next.</q></p>
+
+<p>Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of
+sympathy ready to be gulped down by this unfortunate
+gentleman, was only able to stammer, <q>I&mdash;I really
+don&rsquo;t know, Mr&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hamilton,</q> said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. <q>At
+least that name belongs to me as much as anything can
+be said to in a world where my creditors claim my money
+and Dr Congleton my person.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are confined and poor, you mean?</q> asked Lady
+Alicia, beginning to see her way again.</p>
+
+<p><q>Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order,
+for if I had the wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should
+certainly cease to be confined.</q></p>
+
+<p>His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this,
+<pb n="28"/><anchor id="Pg28"/>
+and Mr Beveridge continued, <q>To return to the delicate
+subject from which we strayed, what would you like me to
+do,&mdash;put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
+or turn my back on you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Are&mdash;are those the three ways you spoke of&mdash;to
+make women like you, I mean?</q> Lady Alicia ventured to
+ask, though she was beginning to wish the sofa was
+larger.</p>
+
+<p><q>They are examples of the three classical methods:
+cuddling, humbugging, and piquing. Which do you
+prefer?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Tell me about your&mdash;your troubles,</q> she answered,
+gaining courage a little.</p>
+
+<p><q>You belong to the sex which makes no mention of
+figs and spades,</q> he rejoined; <q>but I understand you to
+mean that you prefer humbugging.</q></p>
+
+<p>He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly
+into Lady Alicia&rsquo;s blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent
+voice, <q>My boyhood was troubled and unhappy: no kind
+words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel stepfather,
+ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
+heartless stepmother.</q></p>
+
+<p>He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness
+that surprised herself, and a perspicacity that would
+have surprised her friends, asked, <q>How could they&mdash;I
+mean, were they <hi rend="font-style: italic">both</hi> step?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Several steps,</q> he replied; <q>in fact, quite a long
+journey.</q></p>
+
+<p>With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain
+satisfied; but as he had paused a second time, and seemed
+<pb n="29"/><anchor id="Pg29"/>
+to be immersed in the study of his shoes, she inquired
+again, <q>You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
+mean&qdash;?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Deformities,</q> he corrected; <q>up to the age of fourteen
+years I could only walk sideways, and my hair parted in
+the middle.</q></p>
+
+<p>He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies
+seemed to her the most touching misfortunes she had
+ever heard of. She murmured gently, <q>Yes?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>As the years advanced,</q> Mr Beveridge continued,
+<q>and I became more nearly the same weight as my stepfather,
+my life grew happier. It was decided to send me
+to college, so I was provided with an insufficient cheque,
+a complete set of plated forks, and three bath-towels,
+and despatched to the University of Oxford. At least
+I think that was the name of the corporation which took
+my money and endeavoured to restrict my habits, though,
+to confess the truth, my memory is not what it used to be.
+There I learned wisdom by the practice of folly&mdash;the
+most amusing and effective method. My tutor used to
+tell me I had some originality. I apologised for its presence
+in such a respectable institution, and undertook
+to pass an examination instead. I believe I succeeded:
+I certainly remember giving a dinner to celebrate something.
+Thereupon at my own expense the University
+inflicted a degree upon me, but I was shortly afterwards
+compensated by the death of my uncle and my accession
+to his estates. Having enjoyed a university education,
+and accordingly possessing a corrected and regulated
+sentiment, I was naturally inconsolable at the decease of
+<pb n="30"/><anchor id="Pg30"/>
+this venerable relative, who for so long had shown a
+kindly interest in the poor orphan lad.</q></p>
+
+<p>He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia asked with
+great interest, <q>But your step-parents, you always had
+them, hadn&rsquo;t you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Never!</q> he replied, sadly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Never?</q> she exclaimed in some bewilderment.</p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly not often,</q> he answered, <q>and oftener than
+not, never. If you had told me beforehand you wished
+to hear my history, I should have pruned my family
+tree into a more presentable shape. But if you will
+kindly tell me as I go along which of my relatives you
+disapprove of, and who you would like to be introduced,
+I shall arrange the plot to suit you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I only wish to hear the true story, Mr Hamilton.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Fortescue,</q> he corrected. <q>I certainly prefer to be
+called by one name at a time, but never by the same
+twice running.</q></p>
+
+<p>He smiled so agreeably as he said this that Lady Alicia,
+though puzzled and a little hurt, could not refrain from
+smiling back.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let me hear the rest,</q> she said.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is no truer than the first part, but quite as entertaining.
+So, if you like, I shall endeavour to recall the
+series of painful episodes that brought me to Clankwood,</q>
+he answered, very seriously.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia settled herself comfortably into one corner of
+the sofa and prepared to feel affected. But at that moment
+the portly form of Dr Congleton appeared from the direction
+of the ballroom with a still more portly dowager on his arm.</p>
+<pb n="31"/><anchor id="Pg31"/>
+
+<p><q>My mother!</q> exclaimed Lady Alicia, rising quickly
+to her feet.</p>
+
+<p><q>Indeed?</q> said Mr Beveridge, who still kept his seat.
+<q>She certainly looks handsome enough.</q></p>
+
+<p>This speech made Lady Alicia blush very becomingly,
+and the Countess looked at her sharply.</p>
+
+<p><q>Where have you been, Alicia?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The room was rather warm, mamma, and&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In short, madam,</q> interrupted Mr Beveridge, rising
+and bowing, <q>your charming daughter wished to study
+a lunatic at close quarters. I am mad, and I obligingly
+raved. Thus&qdash;</q> He ran one hand through his hair
+so as to make it fall over his eyes, blew out his cheeks,
+and uttering a yell, sprang high into the air, and descended
+in a sitting posture on the floor.</p>
+
+<p><q>That, madam, is a very common symptom,</q> he explained,
+with a smile, smoothing down his hair again, <q>as
+our friend Dr Congleton will tell you.</q></p>
+
+<p>Both the doctor and the Countess were too astonished
+to make any reply, so he turned again to Lady Alicia,
+and offering his arm, said, <q>Let me lead you back to our
+fellow-fools.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Is he safe?</q> whispered the Countess.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;I believe so,</q> replied Dr Congleton in some
+confusion; <q>but I shall have him watched more carefully.</q></p>
+
+<p>As they entered the room Mr Beveridge whispered,
+<q>Will you meet a poor lunatic again?</q> And the Lady
+Alicia pressed his arm.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0104" type="chapter">
+<pb n="32"/><anchor id="Pg32"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>On the morning after the dance Dr Congleton summoned
+Dr Escott to his room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Escott,</q> he began, <q>we must keep a little sharper
+eye on Mr Beveridge.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Indeed, sir?</q> said Escott; <q>he seems to me harmless
+enough.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Nevertheless, he must be watched. Lady Grillyer
+was considerably alarmed by his conduct last night,
+and a client who has confided so many of her relatives
+to my care must be treated with the greatest regard. I
+receive pheasants at Christmas from no fewer than fourteen
+families of title, and my reputation for discretion
+is too valuable to be risked. When Mr Beveridge is
+not under your own eyes you must see that Moggridge
+always keeps him in sight.</q></p>
+
+<p>Accordingly Moggridge, a burly and seasoned attendant
+on refractory patients, was told off to keep an unobtrusive
+eye on that accomplished gentleman. His duties appeared
+light enough, for, as I have said, Mr Beveridge&rsquo;s eccentricities
+had hitherto been merely of the most playful
+nature.</p>
+
+<p>After luncheon on this same day he gave Escott twelve
+breaks and a beating at billiards, and then having borrowed
+and approved of one of his cigars, he strolled into
+the park. If he intended to escape observation, he certainly
+showed the most skilful strategy, for he dodged
+<pb n="33"/><anchor id="Pg33"/>
+deviously through the largest trees, and at last, after a
+roundabout ramble, struck a sheltered walk that ran
+underneath the high, glass-decked outer wall. It was
+a sunny winter afternoon. The boughs were stripped,
+and the leaves lay littered on the walk or flickered and
+stirred through the grass. In this spot the high trees
+stood so close and the bare branches were so thick that
+there was still an air of quiet and seclusion where he
+paced and smoked. Every now and then he stopped and
+listened and looked at his watch, and as he walked backwards
+and forwards an amused smile would come and go.</p>
+
+<p>All at once he heard something move on the far side
+of the wall: he paused to make sure, and then he whistled,
+<corr sic="The"><anchor id="E1"/><ref target="e1">the</ref></corr>
+sounds outside ceased, and in a moment something
+fell softly behind him. He turned quickly and snatched
+up a little buttonhole of flowers with a still smaller note
+tied to the stems.</p>
+
+<p><q>An uncommonly happy idea,</q> he said to himself,
+looking at the missive with the air of one versed in these
+matters. Then he leisurely proceeded to unfold and read
+the note.</p>
+
+<p><q>To my friend,</q> he read, <q>if I may call you a friend,
+since I have known you only <hi rend="font-style: italic">such a
+short time</hi>&mdash;may I?
+This is just to express my sympathy, and although I
+cannot express it well, still perhaps you will forgive my
+feeble effort!!</q></p>
+
+<p>At this point, just as he was regarding the double
+mark of exclamation with reminiscent entertainment, a
+plaintive voice from the other side of the wall cried in a
+stage whisper, <q>Have you got it?</q></p>
+<pb n="34"/><anchor id="Pg34"/>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge composed his face, and heaving his
+shoulders to his ears in the effort, gave vent to a prodigious
+sigh.</p>
+
+<p><q>A million thanks, my fairest and kindest of friends,</q>
+he answered in the same tone. <q>I read it now: I drink
+it in, I&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>He kissed the back of his hand loudly two or three
+times, sighed again, and continued his reading.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wish I could help you,</q> it ran, <q>but I am afraid I
+cannot, as the world is <hi rend="font-style: italic">so
+censorious</hi>, is it not? So you
+must accept a friend&rsquo;s sympathy if it does not seem to
+you too bold and forward of her!!! Perhaps we may
+meet again, as I sometimes go to Clankwood. <hi
+rend="font-style: italic">Au revoir.</hi>&mdash;Your sympathetic
+well-wisher. <hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">A. �. F.</hi></q></p>
+
+<p>He folded it up and put it in his waistcoat-pocket,
+then he exclaimed in an audible aside, his voice shaking
+with the most affecting thrill, <q><hi
+rend="font-style: italic">Perhaps</hi> we may meet
+again! Only <hi rend="font-style: italic">perhaps!</hi> O
+Alicia!</q> And then dropping
+again into a stage whisper, he asked, <q>Are you still
+there, Lady Alicia?</q></p>
+
+<p>A timorous voice replied, <q>Yes, Mr Fortescue. But I
+really <hi rend="font-style: italic">must</hi> go now!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Now? So soon?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I have stayed too long already.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>&rsquo;Tis better to have stayed too long than never to wear
+stays at all,</q> replied Mr Beveridge.</p>
+
+<p>There was no response for a moment. Then a low
+voice, a little hurt and a good deal puzzled, asked with
+evident hesitation, <q>What&mdash;what did you say, Mr
+Fortescue?</q></p>
+<pb n="35"/><anchor id="Pg35"/>
+
+<p><q>I said that Lady Alicia&rsquo;s stay cannot be too long,</q>
+he answered, softly.</p>
+
+<p><q>But&mdash;but what good can I be?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The good you cannot help being.</q></p>
+
+<p>There was another moment&rsquo;s pause, then the voice
+whispered, <q>I don&rsquo;t quite understand you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My Alicia understands me not!</q> Mr Beveridge
+soliloquised in another audible aside. Aloud, or rather
+in a little lower tone, he answered, <q>I am friendless,
+poor, and imprisoned. What is the good in your staying?
+Ah, Lady Alicia! But why should I detain you? Go,
+fair friend! Go and forget poor Francis Beveridge!</q></p>
+
+<p>There came a soft, surprised answer, <q>Francis Beveridge?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Alas! you have guessed my secret. Yes, that is the
+name of the unhappiest of mortals.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke these melancholy words he threw away
+the stump of his cigar, took another from his case, and
+bit off the end.</p>
+
+<p>The voice replied, <q>I shall remember it&mdash;among my
+friends.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge struck a match.</p>
+
+<p><q>H&rsquo;sh! Whatever is that?</q> cried the voice in alarm.</p>
+
+<p><q>A heart breaking,</q> he replied, lighting his cigar.</p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t talk like that,</q> said the voice. <q>It&mdash;it
+distresses me.</q> There was a break in the voice.</p>
+
+<p><q>And, alas! between distress and consolation there
+are fifteen perpendicular feet of stone and mortar and
+the relics of twelve hundred bottles of Bass,</q> he replied.</p>
+<pb n="36"/><anchor id="Pg36"/>
+
+<p><q>Perhaps,</q>&mdash;the voice hesitated&mdash;<q>perhaps we may
+see each other some day.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Say to-morrow at four o&rsquo;clock,</q> he suggested, pertinently.
+<q>If you could manage to be passing up the
+drive at that hour.</q></p>
+
+<p>There was another pause.</p>
+
+<p><q>Perhaps&qdash;</q> the voice began.</p>
+
+<p>At that moment he heard the sharp crack of a branch
+behind him, and turning instantly he spied the uncompromising
+countenance of Moggridge peering round a
+tree about twenty paces distant. Lack of presence of
+mind and quick decision were not amongst Mr Beveridge&rsquo;s
+failings. He struck a theatrical attitude at once,
+and began in a loud voice, gazing up at the tops of the
+trees, <q>He comes! A stranger comes! Yes, my fair
+friend, we may meet again. <hi rend="font-style: italic">Au
+revoir</hi>, but only for a
+while! Ah, that a breaking heart should be lit for a
+moment and then the lamp be put out!</q></p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile Moggridge was walking towards him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, Moggridge!</q> he cried. <q>Good day.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Time you was goin&rsquo; in, sir,</q> said Moggridge, stolidly;
+and to himself he muttered, <q>He&rsquo;s crackeder than I
+thought, a-shoutin&rsquo; and a-ravin&rsquo; to hisself. Just as well
+I kept a heye on &rsquo;im.</q></p>
+
+<p>Like most clever people, Mr Beveridge generally followed
+the line of least resistance. He slipped his arm
+through his attendant&rsquo;s, shouted a farewell apparently
+to some imaginary divinity overhead, and turned towards
+the house.</p>
+
+<p><q>This is an unexpected pleasure,</q> he remarked.</p>
+<pb n="37"/><anchor id="Pg37"/>
+
+<p><q>Yes, sir,</q> replied Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p><q>Funny thing your turning up. Out for a walk, I
+suppose?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>For a stroll, sir&mdash;that&rsquo;s to say&qdash;</q> he stopped.</p>
+
+<p><q>That on these chilly afternoons the dear good doctor
+is afraid of my health?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>That&rsquo;s kind o&rsquo; it, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But of course I&rsquo;m not supposed to notice anything,
+eh?</q></p>
+
+<p>Moggridge looked a trifle uncomfortable and was discreetly
+silent. Mr Beveridge smiled at his own perspicacity,
+and then began in the most friendly tone,
+<q>Well, I feel flattered that so stout a man has been told
+off to take care of me. What an arm you&rsquo;ve got, man.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Pretty fair, sir,</q> said Moggridge, complacently.</p>
+
+<p><q>And I am thankful, too,</q> continued Mr Beveridge,
+<q>that you&rsquo;re a man of some sense. There are a lot of
+fools in the world, Moggridge, and I&rsquo;m somewhat of an
+epicure in the matter of heads.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mine &rsquo;as been considered pretty sharp,</q> Moggridge
+admitted, with a gratified relaxation of his wooden countenance.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have a cigar?</q> his patient asked, taking out his
+case.</p>
+
+<p><q>Thank you, sir, I don&rsquo;t mind if I do.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You will find it a capital smoke. I don&rsquo;t throw them
+away on every one.</q></p>
+
+<p>Moggridge, completely thawed, lit his cigar and slackened
+his pace, for such frank appreciation of his merits
+was rare in a critical world.</p>
+<pb n="38"/><anchor id="Pg38"/>
+
+<p><q>You can perhaps believe, Moggridge,</q> said Mr
+Beveridge, reflectively, <q>that one doesn&rsquo;t often have the
+chance of talking confidentially to a man of sense in
+Clankwood.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir, I should himagine not.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And so one has sometimes to talk to oneself.</q></p>
+
+<p>This was said so sadly that Moggridge began to feel
+uncomfortably affected.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah, Moggridge, one cannot always keep silence,
+even when one least wants to be overheard. Have you
+ever been in love, Moggridge?</q></p>
+
+<p>The burly keeper changed countenance a little at this
+embarrassingly direct question, and answered diffidently,
+<q>Well, sir, to be sure men is men and woming will be
+woming.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The deuce, they will!</q> replied Mr Beveridge, cordially;
+<q>and it&rsquo;s rather hard to forget &rsquo;em, eh?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hindeed it is, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I remembered this afternoon, but I should like you
+as a good chap to forget. You won&rsquo;t mention my moment
+of weakness, Moggridge?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir,</q> said Moggridge, stoutly. <q>I suppose I
+hought to report what I sees, but I won&rsquo;t this time.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thank you,</q> said Mr Beveridge, pressing his arm.
+<q>I had, you know, a touch of the sun in India, and I
+sometimes talk when I shouldn&rsquo;t. Though, after all,
+that isn&rsquo;t a very uncommon complaint.</q></p>
+
+<p>And so it happened that no rumour prejudicial either
+to his sanity or to the progress of his friendship with the
+Lady Alicia reached the ears of the authorities.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0105" type="chapter">
+<pb n="39"/><anchor id="Pg39"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>Towards four o&rsquo;clock on the following afternoon Mr
+Beveridge and Moggridge were walking leisurely down
+the long drive leading from the mansion of Clankwood
+to the gate that opened on the humdrum outer world.
+Finding that an inelastic matter of yards was all the
+tether he could hope for, Mr Beveridge thought it best
+to take the bull by the horns, and make a companion of
+this necessity. So he kept his attendant by his side,
+and regaled him for some time with a series of improbable
+reminiscences and tolerable cigars, till at last, round a
+bend of the avenue, a lady on horseback came into view.
+As she drew a little nearer he stopped with an air of great
+surprise and pleasure.</p>
+
+<p><q>I believe, Moggridge, that must be Lady Alicia �
+Fyre!</q> he exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p><q>It looks huncommon like her, sir,</q> replied Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p><q>I must really speak to her. She was</q>&mdash;and Mr
+Beveridge assumed his inimitable air of manly sentiment&mdash;<q>she
+was one of my poor mother&rsquo;s dearest friends.
+Do you mind, Moggridge, falling behind a little? In
+fact, if you could step behind a tree and wait here for
+me, it would be pleasanter for us both. We used to
+meet under happier circumstances, and, don&rsquo;t you know,
+it might distress her to be reminded of my misfortunes.</q></p>
+
+<p>Such a reasonable request, beseechingly put by so fine
+a gentleman, could scarcely be refused. Moggridge retired
+<pb n="40"/><anchor id="Pg40"/>
+behind the trees that lined the avenue, and Mr
+Beveridge advanced alone to meet the Lady Alicia.
+She blushed very becomingly as he raised his hat.</p>
+
+<p><q>I hardly expected to see you to-day, Mr Beveridge,</q>
+she began.</p>
+
+<p><q>I, on the other hand, have been thinking of nothing
+else,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p>She blushed still deeper, but responded a little reprovingly,
+<q>It&rsquo;s very polite of you to say so, but&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not a bit,</q> said he. <q>I have a dozen equally well-turned
+sentences at my disposal, and, they tell me, a
+most deluding way of saying them.</q></p>
+
+<p>Suddenly out of her depth again, poor Lady Alicia
+could only strike out at random.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who tell you?</q> she managed to say.</p>
+
+<p><q>First, so far as my poor memory goes, my mother&rsquo;s
+lady&rsquo;s-maid informed me of the fact; then I think my sister&rsquo;s
+governess,</q> he replied, ticking off his informants on his
+fingers with a half-abstracted air. <q>After that came a
+number of more or less reliable individuals, and lastly
+the Lady Alicia � Fyre.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Me? I&rsquo;m sure I never said&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>None of them
+ever <hi rend="font-style: italic">said</hi>,</q> he interrupted.</p>
+
+<p><q>But what have I done, then?</q> she asked, tightening
+her reins, and making her horse fidget a foot or two farther
+away.</p>
+
+<p><q>You have begun to be a most adorable friend to a
+most unfortunate man.</q></p>
+
+<p>Still Lady Alicia looked at him a little dubiously, and
+only said, <q>I&mdash;I hope I&rsquo;m not too friendly.</q></p>
+<pb n="41"/><anchor id="Pg41"/>
+
+<p><q>There are no degrees in friendly,</q> he replied. <q>There
+are only aloofly, friendly, and more than friendly.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;I think I ought to be going on, Mr Beveridge.</q></p>
+
+<p>That experienced diplomatist perceived that it was
+necessary to further embellish himself.</p>
+
+<p><q>Are you fond of soldiers?</q> he asked, abruptly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon?</q> she said in considerable bewilderment.</p>
+
+<p><q>Does a red coat, a medal, and a brass band appeal to
+you? Are you apt to be interested in her Majesty&rsquo;s army?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I generally like soldiers,</q> she admitted, still much
+surprised at the turn the conversation had taken.</p>
+
+<p><q>Then I was a soldier.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But&mdash;really?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I held a commission in one of the crackest cavalry
+regiments,</q> he began dramatically, and yet with a great
+air of sincerity. <q>I was considered one of the most
+promising officers in the mess. It nearly broke my heart
+to leave the service.</q></p>
+
+<p>He turned away his head. Lady Alicia was visibly
+affected.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am so sorry!</q> she murmured.</p>
+
+<p>Still keeping his face turned away, he held out his
+hand and she pressed it gently.</p>
+
+<p><q>Sorrow cannot give me my freedom,</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>If there is anything I can do&qdash;</q> she began.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dismount,</q> he said, looking up at her tenderly.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia never quite knew how it happened,
+but certainly she found herself standing on the ground,
+and the next moment Mr Beveridge was in her place.</p>
+<pb n="42"/><anchor id="Pg42"/>
+
+<p><q>An old soldier,</q> he exclaimed, gaily; <q>I can&rsquo;t resist
+the temptation of having a canter.</q> And with that he
+started at a gallop towards the gate.</p>
+
+<p>With a blasphemous ejaculation Moggridge sprang
+from behind his tree, and set off down the drive in hot
+pursuit.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia screamed, <q>Stop! stop! Francis&mdash;I mean,
+Mr Beveridge; stop, please!</q></p>
+
+<p>But the favorite of the crack regiment, despite the
+lady&rsquo;s saddle, sat his steed well, and rapidly left cries
+and footsteps far behind. The lodge was nearly half a
+mile away, and as the avenue wound between palisades
+of old trees, the shouts became muffled, and when he
+looked over his shoulder he saw in the stretch behind him
+no sign of benefactress or pursuer. By continued exhortations
+and the point of his penknife he kept his horse
+at full stretch; round the next bend he knew he should
+see the gates.</p>
+
+<p><q>Five to one on the blank things being shut,</q> he
+muttered.</p>
+
+<p>He swept round the curve, and there ahead of him he
+saw the gates grimly closed, and at the lodge door a dismounted
+groom, standing beside his horse.</p>
+
+<p>Only remarking <q>Damn!</q> he reined up, turned,
+and trotted quietly back again. Presently he met Moggridge,
+red in the face, muddy as to his trousers, and
+panting hard.</p>
+
+<p><q>Nice little nag this, Moggridge,</q> he remarked, airily.</p>
+
+<p><q>Nice sweat you&rsquo;ve give me,</q> rejoined his attendant,
+wrathfully.</p>
+<pb n="43"/><anchor id="Pg43"/>
+
+<p><q>You don&rsquo;t mean to say you ran after me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I does mean to say,</q> Moggridge replied grimly,
+seizing the reins.</p>
+
+<p><q>Want to lead him? Very well&mdash;it makes us look
+quite like the Derby winner coming in.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Derby loser you means, thanks to them gates bein&rsquo;
+shut.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Gates shut? Were they? I didn&rsquo;t happen to
+notice.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, o&rsquo; course not,</q> said Moggridge, sarcastically;
+<q>that there sunstroke you got in India prevented you, I
+suppose?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Have a cigar?</q></p>
+
+<p>To this overture Moggridge made no reply. Mr
+Beveridge laughed and continued lightly, <q>I had no
+idea you were so fond of exercise. I&rsquo;d have given you
+a lead all round the park if I&rsquo;d known.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You&rsquo;d &rsquo;ave given me a lead all round the county if
+them gates &rsquo;ad been open.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It might have been difficult to stop this fiery animal,</q>
+Mr Beveridge admitted. <q>But now, Moggridge, the run
+is over. I think I can take Lady Alicia&rsquo;s horse back to
+her myself.</q></p>
+
+<p>Moggridge smiled grimly.</p>
+
+<p><q>You won&rsquo;t let go?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No fears.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge put his hand behind his back and silently
+drove the penknife a quarter of an inch into his mount&rsquo;s
+hind quarters. In an instant his keeper felt himself
+being lifted nearly off his feet, and in another actually
+<pb n="44"/><anchor id="Pg44"/>
+deposited on his face. Off went the accomplished horseman
+again at top speed, but this time back to Lady Alicia.
+He saw her standing by the side of the drive, her handkerchief
+to her eyes, a penitent and disconsolate little
+figure. When she heard him coming, she dried her eyes
+and looked up, but her face was still tearful.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well, I am back from my ride,</q> he remarked in a
+perfectly usual voice, dismounting as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p><q>The man!</q> she cried, <q>where is that dreadful man?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What man?</q> he asked in some surprise.</p>
+
+<p><q>The man who chased you.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge laughed aloud, at which Lady Alicia
+took fresh refuge in her handkerchief.</p>
+
+<p><q>He follows on foot,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>Did he catch you? Oh, why didn&rsquo;t you escape
+altogether?</q> she sobbed.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge looked at her with growing interest.</p>
+
+<p><q>I had begun to forget my petticoat psychology,</q> he
+reflected (aloud, after his unconventional fashion).</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, here he comes,</q> she shuddered. <q>All blood!
+Oh, what have you done to him?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>On my honour, nothing,&mdash;I merely haven&rsquo;t washed
+his face.</q></p>
+
+<p>By this time Moggridge was coming close upon them.</p>
+
+<p><q>You won&rsquo;t forget a poor soldier?</q> said Mr Beveridge
+in a lower voice.</p>
+
+<p>There was no reply.</p>
+
+<p><q>A <hi rend="font-style: italic">poor</hi> soldier,</q> he
+added, with a sigh, glancing at
+her from the corner of his eye. <q>So poor that even if
+I had got out, I could only have ridden till I dropped.</q></p>
+<pb n="45"/><anchor id="Pg45"/>
+
+<p><q>Would you accept&qdash;?</q> she began, timidly.</p>
+
+<p><q>What day?</q> he interrupted, hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Tuesday,</q> she hesitated.</p>
+
+<p><q>Four o&rsquo;clock, again. Same place as before. When
+I whistle throw it over at once.</q></p>
+
+<p>Before they had time to say more, Moggridge, blood- and
+gravel-stained, came up.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s all right, miss,</q> he said, coming between them;
+<q>I&rsquo;ll see that he plays no more of &rsquo;is tricks.
+There&rsquo;s nothin&rsquo; to be afrightened of.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Stand back!</q> she cried; <q>don&rsquo;t come near me!</q></p>
+
+<p>Moggridge was too staggered at this outburst to say
+a word.</p>
+
+<p><q>Stand away!</q> she said, and the bewildered attendant
+stood away. She turned to Mr Beveridge.</p>
+
+<p><q>Now, will you help me up?</q></p>
+
+<p>She mounted lightly, said a brief farewell, and, forgetting
+all about the call at Clankwood she had ostensibly
+come to pay, turned her horse&rsquo;s head towards the lodge.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well, I&rsquo;m blowed!</q> said Moggridge.</p>
+
+<p><q>They do blow one,</q> his patient assented.</p>
+
+<p>Naturally enough the story of this equestrian adventure
+soon ran through Clankwood. The exact particulars,
+however, were a little hard to collect, for while Moggridge
+supplied many minute and picturesque details,
+illustrating his own activity and presence of mind and
+the imminent peril of the Lady Alicia, Mr Beveridge recounted
+an equally vivid story of a runaway horse recovered
+by himself to its fair owner&rsquo;s unbounded gratitude.
+Official opinion naturally accepted the official
+<pb n="46"/><anchor id="Pg46"/>
+account, and for the next few days Mr Beveridge became
+an object of considerable anxiety and mistrust.</p>
+
+<p><q>I can&rsquo;t make the man out,</q> said Sherlaw to Escott.
+<q>I had begun to think there was nothing much the matter
+with him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No more there is,</q> replied Escott. <q>His memory
+seems to me to have suffered from something, and he
+simply supplies its place in conversation from his imagination,
+and in action from the inspiration of the moment.
+The methods of society are too orthodox for such an
+aberration, and as his friends doubtless pay a handsome
+fee to keep him here, old Congers labels him mad and
+locks the door on him.</q></p>
+
+<p>A day or two afterwards official opinion was a little
+disturbed. Lady Alicia, in reply to anxious inquiries,
+gave a third version of the adventure, from which nothing
+in particular could be gathered except that nothing in
+particular had happened.</p>
+
+<p><q>What do you make of this, Escott?</q> asked Dr Congleton,
+laying her note before his assistant.</p>
+
+<p><q>Merely that a woman wrote it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hum! I suppose that <hi rend="font-style: italic">is</hi> the
+explanation.</q></p>
+
+<p>Upon which the doctor looked profound and went to
+lunch.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0106" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p><q>Two five-pound notes, half-a-sovereign, and seven
+and sixpence in silver,</q> said Mr Beveridge to himself.
+<q>Ah, and a card.</q></p>
+<pb n="47"/><anchor id="Pg47"/>
+
+<p>On the card was written, <q>From a friend, if you will
+accept it. A.</q></p>
+
+<p>He was standing under the wall, in the secluded walk,
+holding a little lady&rsquo;s purse in his hand, and listening
+to two different footsteps. One little pair of feet were
+hurrying away on the farther side of the high wall, another
+and larger were approaching him at a run.</p>
+
+<p><q>Wot&rsquo;s he bin up to now, I wonder,</q> Moggridge
+panted to himself&mdash;for the second pair of feet belonged
+to him. <q>Shamming nose-bleed and sending me in
+for an &rsquo;andkerchief, and then sneaking off here by
+&rsquo;isself!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What a time you&rsquo;ve been,</q> said Mr Beveridge, slipping
+the purse with its contents into his pocket. <q>I was
+so infernally cold I had to take a little walk. Got the
+handkerchief?</q></p>
+
+<p>In silence and with a suspicious solemnity Moggridge
+handed him the handkerchief, and they turned back for
+the house.</p>
+
+<p><q>Now for a balloon,</q> Mr Beveridge reflected.</p>
+
+<p>Certainly it was cold. The frost nipped sharp that
+night, and next morning there were ice gardens on the
+windows, and the park lay white all through the winter
+sunshine.</p>
+
+<p>By evening the private lake was reported to be bearing,
+and the next day it hummed under the first skaters.
+Hardly necessary to say Mr Beveridge was among the
+earliest of them, or that he was at once the object of
+general admiration and envy. He traced <q>vines</q> and
+<q>Q&rsquo;s,</q> and performed wonderful feats on one leg all
+<pb n="48"/><anchor id="Pg48"/>
+morning. At lunch he was in the best of spirits, and was
+off again at once to the ice.</p>
+
+<p>When he reached the lake in the afternoon the first
+person he spied was Lady Alicia, and five minutes afterwards
+they were sailing off together hand in hand.</p>
+
+<p><q>I knew you would come to-day,</q> he remarked.</p>
+
+<p><q>How <hi rend="font-style: italic">could</hi> you have
+known? It was by the merest chance I happened to come.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It has always been by the merest chance that any
+of them have ever come.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Who have ever come?</q> she inquired, with a vague
+feeling that he had said something he ought not to have,
+and that she was doing the same.</p>
+
+<p><q>Many things,</q> he smiled, <q>including purses. Which
+reminds me that I am eternally your debtor.</q></p>
+
+<p>She blushed and said, <q>I hope you didn&rsquo;t mind.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not much,</q> he answered, candidly. <q>In my present
+circumstances a five-pound note is more acceptable than
+a caress.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Lady Alicia again remembered the maidenly
+proprieties, and tried to change the subject.</p>
+
+<p><q>What beautiful ice!</q> she said.</p>
+
+<p><q>The question now is,</q> he continued, paying no heed
+to this diversion, <q>what am I to do next?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What do you mean?</q> she asked a little faintly,
+realising dimly that she was being regarded as a fellow-conspirator
+in some unlawful project.</p>
+
+<p><q>The wall is high, there is bottle-glass on the top, and
+I shall find it hard to bring away a fresh pair of trousers,
+and probably draughty if I don&rsquo;t. The gates are always
+<pb n="49"/><anchor id="Pg49"/>
+kept closed, and it isn&rsquo;t worth any one&rsquo;s while to open
+them for �10, 17s. 6d., less the price of a first-class ticket
+up to town. What are we to do?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>We?</q> she gasped.</p>
+
+<p><q>You and I,</q> he explained.</p>
+
+<p><q>But&mdash;but I can&rsquo;t <hi
+rend="font-style: italic">possibly</hi> do anything.</q></p>
+
+<p><q><q>Can&rsquo;t possibly</q> is a phrase I have learned
+to misunderstand.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Really, Mr Beveridge, I mustn&rsquo;t do anything.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mustn&rsquo;t is an invariable preface to a sin. Never
+use it; it&rsquo;s a temptation in itself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It wouldn&rsquo;t be right,</q> she said, with quite a show of
+firmness.</p>
+
+<p>He looked at her a little curiously. For a moment he
+almost seemed puzzled. Then he pressed her hand and
+asked tenderly, <q>Why not?</q></p>
+
+<p>And in a half-audible aside he added, <q>That&rsquo;s the
+correct move, I think.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What did you say?</q> she asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>I said, <q>Why not?</q></q> he answered, with increasing
+tenderness.</p>
+
+<p><q>But you said something else.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I added a brief prayer for pity.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia sighed and repeated a little less firmly.
+<q>It wouldn&rsquo;t be right of me, Mr Beveridge.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But what would be wrong?</q></p>
+
+<p>This was said with even more fervour.</p>
+
+<p><q>My conscience&mdash;we are very particular, you know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Who are <q>we</q>?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Papa is <hi rend="font-style: italic">very</hi> strict
+High Church.</q></p>
+<pb n="50"/><anchor id="Pg50"/>
+
+<p>An idea seemed to strike Mr Beveridge, for he ruminated
+in silence.</p>
+
+<p><q>I asked Mr Candles&mdash;our curate, you know,</q> Lady
+Alicia continued, with a heroic effort to make her position
+clear.</p>
+
+<p><q>You told him!</q> he exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, I didn&rsquo;t say who it was&mdash;I mean what it was I
+thought of doing&mdash;I mean the temptation&mdash;that is, the
+possibility. And he said it was very kind of me to think
+of it; but I mustn&rsquo;t do anything, and he advised me to
+read a book he gave me, and&mdash;and I mustn&rsquo;t think of
+it, really, Mr Beveridge.</q></p>
+
+<p>To himself Mr Beveridge repeated under his breath,
+<q>Archbishops, bishops, deacons, curates, fast in Lent,
+and an anthem after the Creed. I think I remember
+enough to pass.</q></p>
+
+<p>Then he assumed a very serious face, and said aloud,
+<q>Your scruples do your heart credit. They have given
+me an insight into your deep and sweet character, which
+emboldens me to make a confession.</q></p>
+
+<p>He stopped skating, folded his arms, and continued
+unblushingly, <q>I was educated for the Church, but
+the prejudices of my parents, the immature scepticism
+of youth, and some uncertainty about obtaining my
+archbishopric, induced me in an unfortunate moment,
+which I never ceased to bitterly regret, to quit my
+orders.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are in orders?</q> she exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p><q>I was in several. I cancelled them, and entered the
+Navy instead.</q></p>
+<pb n="51"/><anchor id="Pg51"/>
+
+<p><q>The Navy?</q> she asked, excusably bewildered by
+these rapid changes of occupation.</p>
+
+<p><q>For five years I was never ashore.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But,</q> she hesitated&mdash;<q>but you said you were in the
+Army.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Beveridge gave her a look full of benignant compassion
+that made her, she did not quite know why, feel terribly
+abashed.</p>
+
+<p><q>My regiment was quartered at sea,</q> he condescended
+to explain. <q>But in time my conscience awoke. I
+announced my intention of resuming my charge. My
+uncle was furious. My enemies were many. I was
+seized, thrown into this prison-house, and now my only
+friend fails me.</q></p>
+
+<p>They were both silent. She ventured once to glance
+up at his face, and it seemed to her that his eyes were
+moist&mdash;though perhaps it was that her own were a little
+dim.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let us skate on,</q> he said abruptly, with a fine air of
+resignation.</p>
+
+<p><q>By the way,</q> he suddenly added, <q>I was extremely
+High Church, in fact almost freezingly high.</q></p>
+
+<p>For five minutes they skated in silence, then Lady
+Alicia began softly, <q>Supposing you&mdash;you went away&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What is the use of talking of it?</q> he exclaimed, melodramatically.
+<q>Let me forget my short-lived hopes!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You <hi rend="font-style: italic">have</hi> a
+friend,</q> she said, slowly.</p>
+
+<p><q>A friend who tantalises me by <q>supposings</q>!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But supposing you did, Mr Beveridge, would you
+go back to your&mdash;did you say you had a parish?</q></p>
+<pb n="52"/><anchor id="Pg52"/>
+
+<p><q>I had: a large, populous, and happy parish. It is
+my one dream to sit once more on its council and direct
+my curate.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Of course that makes a difference. Mr Candles
+didn&rsquo;t know all this.</q></p>
+
+<p>They had come by this time to the corner of a little
+island that lay not far from the shore; in the channel
+ahead a board labelled <q>Danger</q> marked a hidden
+spring; behind them the shining ice was almost bare of
+skaters, for all but Dr Escott seemed to be leaving; on
+the bank they could see Moggridge prowling about in
+the gathering dusk, a vigilant reminder of captivity.
+Mr Beveridge took the whole scene in with, it is to be
+feared, a militant rather than an episcopal eye. Then
+he suddenly asked, <q>Are you alone?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You drive back?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ye<corr sic="-"><anchor id="E2"/><ref
+target="e2">&mdash;</ref></corr>es.</q></p>
+
+<p>He took out his watch and made a brief calculation.</p>
+
+<p><q>Go now, call at Clankwood or do anything else you
+like, and pass down the drive again at a quarter to five.</q></p>
+
+<p>This sudden pinning of her irresolution almost took
+Lady Alicia&rsquo;s breath away.</p>
+
+<p><q>But I never said&qdash;</q> she began.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear friend,</q> he interrupted, <q>in the hour of
+action only a fool ever says. Come on.</q></p>
+
+<p>And while she still hesitated they were off again.</p>
+
+<p><q>But&qdash;</q> she tried to expostulate.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dearest friend,</q> he whispered, <q>and my dear
+old vicarage!</q></p>
+<pb n="53"/><anchor id="Pg53"/>
+
+<p>He gave her no time to protest. Her skates were off,
+she was on her way to her carriage, and he was striking
+out again for the middle of the lake before she had time
+to collect her wits.</p>
+
+<p>He took out his watch and looked at the time. It
+was nearly a quarter-past four. Then he came up to
+Escott, who by this time was the only other soul on the ice.</p>
+
+<p><q>About time we were going in,</q> said Escott.</p>
+
+<p><q>Give me half-an-hour more. I&rsquo;ll show you how to
+do that vine you admired.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All right,</q> assented the doctor.</p>
+
+<p>A minute or two later Mr Beveridge, as if struck by
+a sudden reflection, exclaimed, <q>By Jove, there&rsquo;s that
+poor devil Moggridge freezing to death on shore. Can&rsquo;t
+you manage to look after so dangerous a lunatic yourself?
+It is his tea-time, too.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hallo, so he is,</q> replied Escott; <q>I&rsquo;ll
+send him up.</q></p>
+
+<p>And so there were only left the two men on the ice.</p>
+
+<p>For a little the lesson went on, and presently, leaving
+the doctor to practise, Mr Beveridge skated away by
+himself. He first paused opposite a seat on the bank
+over which hung Dr Escott&rsquo;s great fur coat. This
+spectacle appeared to afford him peculiar pleasure.
+Then he looked at his watch. It was half-past four.
+He shut the watch with a click, threw a glance at his
+pupil, and struck out for the island. If the doctor had
+been looking, he might have seen him round it in the
+gloaming.</p>
+
+<p>Dr Escott, leaning far on his outside edge, met him
+as he returned.</p>
+<pb n="54"/><anchor id="Pg54"/>
+
+<p><q>What&rsquo;s that under your coat?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>A picture I intend to ask your opinion on presently,</q>
+replied Mr Beveridge; and he added, with his most
+charming air, <q>But now, before we go in, let me give
+you a ride on one of these chairs, doctor.</q></p>
+
+<p>They started off, the pace growing faster and faster,
+and presently Dr Escott saw that they were going behind
+the island.</p>
+
+<p><q>Look out for the spring!</q> he cried.</p>
+
+<p><q>It must be bearing now,</q> replied Mr Beveridge,
+striking out harder than ever; <q>they have taken away
+the board.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All right,</q> said the doctor, <q>on you go.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke he felt a violent push, and the chair, slewing
+round as it went, flew on its course unguided. Mr
+Beveridge&rsquo;s skates rasped on the ice with a spray of
+white powder as he stopped himself suddenly. Ahead
+of him there was a rending crack, and Dr Escott and his
+chair disappeared. Mr Beveridge laughed cheerfully,
+and taking from under his coat a board with the legend
+<q>Danger</q> printed in large characters across its face,
+he placed it beside the jagged hole.</p>
+
+<p><q>Here is the picture, doctor,</q> he said, as a dripping,
+gasping head came up for the second time. <q>I must
+ask a thousand pardons for this&mdash;shall I say, liberty?
+But, as you know, I&rsquo;m off my head. Good night. Let
+me recommend a hot drink when you come out. There
+are only five feet of water, so you won&rsquo;t drown.</q> And
+with that he skated rapidly away.</p>
+
+<p>Escott had a glimpse of him vanishing round the corner
+<pb n="55"/><anchor id="Pg55"/>
+of the island, and then the ice broke again, and down he
+went. Four, five, six times he made a desperate effort
+to get out, and every time the thin ice tore under his
+hands, and he slipped back again. By the seventh
+attempt he had broken his way to the thicker sheet; he
+got one leg up, slipped, got it up again, and at last, half
+numbed and wholly breathless, he was crawling circumspectly
+away. When at last he ventured to rise to
+his feet, he skated with all the speed he could make to
+the seat where he had left his coat. A pair of skates
+lay there instead, but the coat had vanished. Dr Escott&rsquo;s
+philosophical estimate of Mr Beveridge became considerably
+modified.</p>
+
+<p><q>Thank the Lord, he can&rsquo;t get out of the grounds,</q>
+he said to himself; <q>what a dangerous devil he is! But
+he&rsquo;ll be sorry for this performance, or I&rsquo;m mistaken.</q></p>
+
+<p>When he arrived at the house his first inquiries were
+for his tutor in the art of vine-cutting, and he was rather
+surprised to hear that he had not yet returned, for he
+only imagined himself the victim of a peculiarly ill-timed
+practical joke.</p>
+
+<p>Men with lanterns were sent out to search the park;
+and still there was no sign of Mr Beveridge. Inquiries
+were made at the lodge, but the gatekeeper could swear
+that only a single carriage had passed through. Dr
+Congleton refused at first to believe that he could possibly
+have got out.</p>
+
+<p><q>Our arrangements are perfect,&mdash;the thing&rsquo;s absurd,</q>
+he said, peremptorily.</p>
+
+<p><q>That there man, sir,</q> replied Moggridge, who had
+<pb n="56"/><anchor id="Pg56"/>
+been summoned, <q>is the slipperiest customer as ever I
+seed. &rsquo;E&rsquo;s hout, sir, I believe.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>We might at least try the stations,</q> suggested Escott,
+who had by this time changed, and indulged in the hot
+drink recommended.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor began to be a little shaken.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well, well,</q> said he, <q>I&rsquo;ll send a man to each of the
+three stations within walking distance; and whether he&rsquo;s
+out or in, we&rsquo;ll have him by to-morrow morning. I&rsquo;ve
+always taken care that he had no money in his pockets.</q></p>
+
+<p>But what is a doctor&rsquo;s care against a woman&rsquo;s heart?
+For many to-morrows Clankwood had to lament the loss
+of the gifted Francis Beveridge.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0107" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>At sixteen minutes to five Mr Beveridge stood by the
+side of the Clankwood Avenue, comfortably wrapped
+in Dr Escort&rsquo;s fur coat, and smoking with the greatest
+relish one of Dr Escott&rsquo;s undeniable cigars.</p>
+
+<p>It was almost dark, the air bit keen, the dim park
+with its population of black trees was filled with a frosty,
+eager stillness. All round the invisible wall hemmed
+him in, the ten pounds, seventeen shillings, and sixpence
+lay useless in his pocket till that was past, and his one
+hope depended on a woman. But Mr Beveridge was an
+amateur in the sex, and he smiled complacently as he
+smoked.</p>
+
+<p>He had waited barely three minutes when the quick
+<pb n="57"/><anchor id="Pg57"/>
+clatter of a pair of horses fell on his ears, and presently
+the lights of a carriage and pair, driving swiftly away
+from Clankwood, raked the drive on either side. As
+they rattled up to him he gave a shout to the coachman
+to stop, and stepped right in front of the horses. With
+something that sounded unlike a blessing, the pair were
+thrown almost on their haunches to check them in time.
+Never stopping to explain, he threw open the door and
+sprang in; the coachman, hearing no sound of protest,
+whipped up again, and Mr Beveridge found himself
+rolling through the park of Clankwood in the Countess
+of Grillyer&rsquo;s carriage with a very timid little figure by
+his side. Even in that moment of triumphant excitement
+the excellence of his manners was remarkable:
+the first thing he said was, <q>Do you mind smoking?</q></p>
+
+<p>In her confusion of mind Lady Alicia could only reply
+<q>Oh no,</q> and not till some time afterwards did she remember
+that the odour of a cigar was clinging and the
+Countess&rsquo;s nose unusually sensitive.</p>
+
+<p>After this first remark he leaned back in silence, gradually
+filling the carriage with a blue-grey cloud, and looking
+out of the windows first on one side and then on the
+other. They passed quickly through the lines of trees
+and the open spaces of frosty park-land, they drew up
+at the lodge for a moment, he heard his prison gates
+swing open, the harness jingled and the hoofs began to
+clatter again, a swift vision of lighted windows and a
+man looking on them incuriously swept by, and then they
+were rolling over a country road between hedgerows and
+under the free stars.</p>
+<pb n="58"/><anchor id="Pg58"/>
+
+<p>It was the Lady Alicia who spoke first.</p>
+
+<p><q>I never thought you would really come,</q> she said.</p>
+
+<p><q>I have been waiting for that remark,</q> he replied,
+with his most irresistible smile; <q>now for some more
+practical conversation.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he did not immediately begin this conversation himself,
+her curiosity overcame her, and she asked, <q>How
+did you manage to get out?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>As my friend Dr Escott offered no opposition, I
+walked away.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Did he really let you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He never even expostulated.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then&mdash;then it&rsquo;s all right?</q> she said, with
+an inexplicable sensation of disappointment.</p>
+
+<p><q>Perfectly&mdash;so far.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But&mdash;didn&rsquo;t they object?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not yet,</q> he replied; <q>objections to my movements
+are generally made after they have been performed.</q></p>
+
+<p>Somehow she felt immensely relieved at this hint of
+opposition.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m so glad you got away,</q> she whispered, and then
+repented in a flutter.</p>
+
+<p><q>Not more so than I am,</q> he answered, pressing her
+hand.</p>
+
+<p><q>And now,</q> he added, <q>I should like to know how
+near Ashditch Junction you propose to take me.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Where are you going to, Mr Beveridge?</q></p>
+
+<p>The <q>Mr Beveridge</q> was thrown in as a corrective
+to the hand-pressure.</p>
+
+<p><q>To London; where else, my Alicia? With �10,
+<pb n="59"/><anchor id="Pg59"/>
+17s. 6d. in my pocket, I shall be able to eat at least three
+good dinners, and, by the third of them, if I haven&rsquo;t
+fallen on my feet it will be the first time I have descended
+so unluckily.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But,</q> she asked, considerably disconcerted, <q>I
+thought you were going back to your parish.</q></p>
+
+<p>For a moment he too seemed a trifle put about. Then
+he replied readily, <q>So I am, as soon as I have purchased
+the necessary outfit, restocked my ecclesiastical library,
+and called on my bishop.</q></p>
+
+<p>She felt greatly relieved at this justification of her share
+in the adventure.</p>
+
+<p><q>Drop me at the nearest point to the station,</q> he
+said.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am afraid,</q> she began&mdash;<q>I mean I think you had
+better get out soon. The first road on the right will
+take you straight there, and we had better not pass it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then I must bid you farewell,</q> and he sighed most
+effectively. <q>Farewell, my benefactress, my dear Alicia!
+Shall I ever see you, shall I ever hear of you again?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I might&mdash;I might just write once; if you will answer
+it: I mean if you would care to hear from such a&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>She found it difficult to finish, and prudently stopped.</p>
+
+<p><q>Thanks,</q> he replied cheerfully; <q>do,&mdash;I shall live in
+hopes. I&rsquo;d better stop the carriage now.</q></p>
+
+<p>He let down the window, when she said hastily, <q>But
+I don&rsquo;t know your address.</q></p>
+
+<p>He reflected for an instant. <q>Care of the Archbishop
+of York will always find me,</q> he replied; and as if unwilling
+to let his emotion be observed, he immediately
+<pb n="60"/><anchor id="Pg60"/>
+put his head out of the window and called on the coachman
+to stop.</p>
+
+<p><q>Good-bye,</q> he whispered, tenderly, squeezing her
+fingers with one hand and opening the door with the
+other.</p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t quite forget me,</q> she whispered back.</p>
+
+<p><q>Never!</q> he replied, and was in the act of getting
+out when he suddenly turned, and exclaimed, <q>I must
+be more out of practice than I thought; I had almost
+forgotten the protested salute.</q></p>
+
+<p>And without further preamble the Lady Alicia found
+herself kissed at last.</p>
+
+<p>He jumped out and shut the door, and the carriage
+with its faint halo clattered into the darkness.</p>
+
+<p><q>They are wonderfully alike,</q> he reflected.</p>
+
+<p>About twenty minutes later he walked leisurely into
+Ashditch Junction, and having singled out the station-master,
+he accosted him with an air of beneficient consideration
+and inquired how soon he could catch a train
+for London.</p>
+
+<p>It appeared that the up express was not due for nearly
+three-quarters of an hour.</p>
+
+<p><q>A little too long to wait,</q> he said to himself, as he
+turned up the collar of his purloined fur coat to keep
+out the cold, and picked another cigar from its rightful
+owner&rsquo;s case.</p>
+
+<p>By way of further defying the temperature and cementing
+his acquaintance with the station-master, he offered
+to regale that gratified official with such refreshments as
+the station bar provided. In the consumption of whiskies-and-sodas
+<pb n="61"/><anchor id="Pg61"/>
+(a beverage difficult to obtain in any
+quantity at Clankwood) Mr Beveridge showed himself
+as accomplished as in every other feat. In thirty-five
+minutes he had despatched no fewer than six, besides
+completely winning the station-master&rsquo;s heart. As he
+had little more than five minutes now to wait, he bade a
+genial farewell to the lady behind the bar, and started
+to purchase his ticket.</p>
+
+<p>Hardly had he left the door of the refreshment-room
+when he perceived an uncomfortably familiar figure just
+arrived, breathless with running, on the opposite platform.
+The light of a lamp fell on his shining face: it
+was Moggridge!</p>
+
+<p>A stout heart might be forgiven for sinking at the sight,
+but Mr Beveridge merely turned to his now firm friends
+and said with his easiest air, <q>On the opposite platform I
+perceive one of my runaway lunatics. Bring a couple
+of stout porters as quickly as you can, for he is a person
+of much strength and address. My name,</q> he drew a
+card-case from the pocket of his fur coat, <q>is, as you see,
+Dr Escott of Clankwood.</q></p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile Moggridge, after hurriedly investigating
+the platform he was on, suddenly spied a tall fur-coated
+figure on the opposite side. Without a moment&rsquo;s hesitation
+he sprang on to the rails, and had just mounted the
+other side as the station-master and two porters appeared.</p>
+
+<p>Seeing his allies by his side Mr Beveridge never said a
+word, but, throwing off his hat, he lowered his head,
+charged his keeper, and picking him up by the knees
+<pb n="62"/><anchor id="Pg62"/>
+threw him heavily on his back. Before he had a chance
+of recovering himself the other three were seated on his
+chest employed in winding a coil of rope round and round
+his prostrate form.</p>
+
+<p>Two minutes later Moggridge was sitting bound hand
+and foot in the booking office, addressing an amused audience
+in a strain of perhaps excusable exasperation,
+which however merely served to impress the Ashditch
+officials with a growing sense of their address in capturing
+so dangerous a lunatic. In the middle of this entertaining
+scene the London express steamed in, and Mr
+Beveridge, courteously thanking the station-master for
+his assistance, stepped into a first-class carriage.</p>
+
+<p><q>I should be much obliged,</q> he said, leaning on the
+door of his compartment and blowing the smoke of Dr
+Escott&rsquo;s last Havannah lightly from his lips, <q>if you
+would be kind enough to keep that poor fellow in the
+station till to-morrow. It is rather too late to send him
+back now. Good night, and many thanks.</q></p>
+
+<p>He pressed a coin into the station-master&rsquo;s hand,
+which that
+<corr sic="disapponted"><anchor id="E3"/><ref
+target="e3">disappointed</ref></corr>
+official only discovered on emptying
+his pockets at night to be an ordinary sixpence, the
+guard whistled, and one by one, smoothly and slowly
+and then in a bright stream, the station lamps slipped
+by. The last of them flitted into the night, and the
+train swung and rattled by a mile a minute nearer to
+London town and farther from the high stone wall.
+There was no other stop, and for a long hour the adventurer
+sat with his legs luxuriously stretched along the
+cushions looking out into a fainter duplicate of his carriage,
+<pb n="63"/><anchor id="Pg63"/>
+pierced now and then by the glitter of brighter
+points as they whisked by some wayside village, or crossed
+by the black shadows of trees. The whole time he
+smiled contentedly, doubtless at the prospect of his parish
+work. All at once he seemed stirred, and, turning in
+his seat, laid his face upon the window, and pulled down
+the blind behind his head, so that he could see into the
+night. He had spied the first bright filaments of London.
+Quickly they spread into a twinkling network, and then
+as quickly were shut out by the first line of suburb houses;
+through the gaps they grew nearer and flared cheerfully;
+the train hooted over an archway, and in the road below
+he had a glimpse of shop windows and crowded pavements
+and moving omnibuses: he was in the world again,
+and at the foretaste of all this life he laughed like a delighted
+child. Last of all came the spread of shining
+rails and the red and yellow lights of many signals, and
+then the high glass roof and long lamp-lit platforms of
+St Euston&rsquo;s Cross.</p>
+
+<p>Unencumbered by luggage or plans, Mr Francis Beveridge
+stuck his hands deep in his pockets and strolled
+aimlessly enough out of the station into the tideway of
+the Euston Road. For a little he stood stock-still on the
+pavement watching the throng of people and the perpetual
+buses and drays and the jingling hansoms picking
+their way through it all.</p>
+
+<p><q>For a man of brains,</q> he moralised, <q>even though
+he be certified as insane, for probably the best of reasons,
+this London has surely fools enough to provide him with
+all he needs and more than he deserves. I shall set out
+<pb n="64"/><anchor id="Pg64"/>
+with my lantern like a second Diogenes to look for a
+foolish man.</q></p>
+
+<p>And so he strolled along again to the first opening
+southwards. That led him through a region of dingy
+enough brick by day, but decked now with its string of
+lamps and bright shop-windows here and there, and kept
+alive by passing buses and cabs going and coming from
+the station. Farther on the street grew gloomier, and a
+dark square with a grove of trees in the middle opened
+off one side; but, rattle or quiet, flaring shops or sad-looking
+lodgings, he found it all too fresh and amusing
+to hurry.</p>
+
+<p><q>Back to my parish again,</q> he said to himself, smiling
+broadly at the drollery of the idea. <q>If I&rsquo;m caught
+to-morrow, I&rsquo;ll at least have one merry night in my
+wicked, humorous old charge.</q></p>
+
+<p>He reached Holborn and turned west in the happiest
+and most enviable of moods; the very policemen seemed
+to cast a friendly eye on him; the frosty air, he thought,
+made the lights burn brighter and the crowd move more
+briskly than ever he had seen them. Suddenly the sight
+of a hairdresser&rsquo;s saloon brought an inspiration. He
+stroked his beard, twisted his moustaches half regretfully,
+and then exclaiming, <q>Exit Mr Beveridge,</q> turned
+into the shop.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div rend="page-break-before: always" id="LL0200" type="part">
+<pb n="65"/><anchor id="Pg65"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 125%">PART II.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<div id="LL0201" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron Rudolf von Blitzenberg sat by himself
+at a table in the dining-room of the H�tel
+Mayonaise, which, as everybody knows, is the
+largest and most expensive in London. He
+was a young man of a florid and burly Teutonic type
+and the most ingenuous countenance. Being possessed
+of a curious and enterprising disposition, as well as
+the most ample means, he had left his ancestral castle in
+Bavaria to study for a few months the customs and
+politics of England. In the language he was already
+proficient, and he had promised himself an amusing as
+well as an instructive visit. But, although he had only
+arrived in London that morning, he was already beginning
+to feel an uncomfortable apprehension lest in both respects
+he should be disappointed. Though his introductions
+were the best with which the British Ambassador
+could supply him, they were only three or four in
+number,&mdash;for, not wishing to be hampered with too many
+acquaintances, he had rather chosen quality than quantity:
+and now, in the course of the afternoon, he had
+found to his chagrin that in every case the families were
+out of town. In fact, so far as he could learn, they were
+<pb n="66"/><anchor id="Pg66"/>
+not even at their own country seats. One was abroad,
+another gone to the seaside to recover from the mumps,
+or a third paying a round of visits.</p>
+
+<p>The disappointment was sharp, he felt utterly at sea
+as to what he should do, and he was already beginning to
+experience the loneliness of a single mortal in a crowded
+hotel.</p>
+
+<p>As the frosty evening was setting in and the shops were
+being lit, he had strolled out into the streets in the vague
+hope of meeting some strange foreign adventure, or perhaps
+even happily lighting upon some half-forgotten
+diplomatic acquaintance. But he found the pavements
+crowded with a throng who took no notice of him at all,
+but seemed every man and most women of them to be
+pushing steadily, and generally silently, towards a million
+mysterious goals. Not that he could tell they were silent
+except by their set lips, for the noise of wheels and horses
+on so many hundreds of miles of streets, and the cries of
+busmen and vendors of evening papers, made such a
+hubbub that he felt before long in a maze. He lost his
+way four times, and was patronisingly set right by beneficent
+policemen; and at last, feeling like a man who has
+fallen off a precipice on to a soft place&mdash;none the worse
+but quite bewildered&mdash;he struggled back to his hotel.
+There he spun out his time by watching the people come
+and go, and at last dressed with extra deliberation.</p>
+
+<p>About eight o&rsquo;clock he sat down to his solitary dinner.
+The great gilt and panelled room was full of diners and
+bustling waiters, but there was not a face the Baron had
+ever seen before. He was just finishing a plate of whitebait
+<pb n="67"/><anchor id="Pg67"/>
+when he observed a stranger enter the room and
+stroll in a very self-possessed manner down the middle,
+glancing at the tables round him as though he was looking
+either for a friend or a desirable seat. This gentleman
+was tall, fair, and clean-shaved; he was dressed in a suit
+of well-fitting tweeds, and his air impressed the Baron
+as being natural and yet distinguished. At last his eye
+fell upon the Baron, who felt conscious of undergoing a
+quick, critical scrutiny. The table at which that nobleman
+sat was laid for two, and coming apparently to a
+sudden resolution, the good-looking stranger seated himself
+in the vacant chair. In an agreeable voice and with
+an unmistakably well-bred air he asked a waiter for the
+wine-list, and then, like a man with an excellent appetite,
+fell to upon the various <hi rend="font-style: italic">hors
+d&rsquo;&oelig;uvres</hi>, the entire collection
+of which, in fact, he consumed in a wonderfully
+short space of time. The Baron, being himself no trifler
+with his victuals, regarded this feat with sympathetic
+approval, and began to feel a little less alone in the world.
+His naturally open disposition was warmed besides,
+owing to a slight misconception he had fallen into, perfectly
+excusable however in a foreigner. He thought he
+had read somewhere that port was the usual accompaniment
+to the first courses of an English dinner, and as
+his waiter had been somewhat dilatory in bringing him
+the more substantial items of the repast, he had already
+drunk three claret-glasses of this cheering wine. The
+chill recollections of his sixteen quarterings and the
+exclusiveness he had determined to maintain as becoming
+to his rank were already melting, and he met the stranger&rsquo;s
+<pb n="68"/><anchor id="Pg68"/>
+eye with what for the life of him he could not help being a
+cordial look.</p>
+
+<p>His <hi rend="font-style: italic">vis-�-vis</hi> caught
+the glance, smiled back, and immediately
+asked, with the most charming politeness,
+<q>Do you care, sir, to split a bottle of champagne?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To&mdash;er&mdash;<hi
+rend="font-style: italic">shplid?</hi></q> said the Baron,
+with a disappointed consciousness of having been put at a loss
+in his English by the very first man who had spoken to him.</p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon,&mdash;I am afraid I was unintelligibly
+idiomatic. To divide, I should say, you consuming
+one-half, I the other. Am I clear, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p>For a moment the Baron was a little taken aback, and
+then recollecting that the dining habits of the English
+were still new to him, he concluded that the suggestion
+was probably a customary act of courtesy. He had
+already come to the conclusion that the gentleman must
+be a person of rank, and he replied affably, <q>Yah&mdash;zat
+is, vid pleasure. Zanks, very.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The pleasure is mine,</q> said the stranger&mdash;<q>and half
+the bottle,</q> he added, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron, whose perception of humour had been
+abnormally increased by this time, laughed hilariously
+at the infection of his new acquaintance&rsquo;s smile.</p>
+
+<p><q>Goot, goot!</q> he cried. <q>Ach, yah, zo.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Am I right, sir, in supposing that, despite the perfection
+of your English accent, I cannot be fortunate
+enough to claim you as a countryman?</q> asked the
+stranger.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron&rsquo;s resolutions of reticence had vanished
+altogether before such unexpected and (he could not
+<pb n="69"/><anchor id="Pg69"/>
+but think) un-English friendliness. He unburdened his
+heart with a rush.</p>
+
+<p><q>You have ze right. I am Deutsch. I have gom to
+England zis day for to lairn and to amuse myself. But
+mein, vat you call?&mdash;introdogtions zey are not inside,
+zat is zey are from off. Not von, all, every single gone
+to ze gontry or to abroad. I am alone, I eat my dinner
+in zolitude, I am pleased to meet you, sare.</q></p>
+
+<p>A cork popped and the champagne frothed into the
+stranger&rsquo;s glass. Raising it to his lips, he
+said, <q>Prosit!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Prosit!</q> responded the Baron, enthusiastically. <q>You
+know ze Deutsch, sare?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am safer in English, I confess.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, das ist goot, I vant for to practeese. Ve vill
+talk English.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With all my heart,</q> said the stranger. <q>I, too, am
+alone, and I hold myself more than fortunate in making
+your acquaintance. It&rsquo;s a devilish dull world when one
+can&rsquo;t share a bottle&mdash;or a brace of them, for the matter
+of that.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You know London?</q> asked the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom,
+as I say, to-day.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With pleasure,</q> said the stranger, readily. <q>In fact,
+if you are ever disengaged I may possibly be able to act as
+showman.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Showman!</q> roared the Baron, thinking he had discovered
+a jest. <q>Ha, ha, ha! Goot, zehr goot!</q></p>
+
+<p>The other looked a trifle astonished for an instant,
+<pb n="70"/><anchor id="Pg70"/>
+and then as he sipped his champagne an expression of
+intense satisfaction came over his face.</p>
+
+<p><q>I can put away my lantern,</q> he said to himself,&mdash;<q>I
+have found him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>May I have the boldness to ask your name, sir?</q> he
+asked aloud.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,</q> that nobleman
+replied. <q>Yours, sare&mdash;may I dare?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Francis Bunker, at your service, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are noble?</q> queried the Baron a little anxiously,
+for his prejudices on this point were strong.</p>
+
+<p><q>According to your standard I believe I may say so.
+That&rsquo;s to say, my family have borne arms for two hundred
+odd generations; twenty-five per cent of them have died
+of good living; and the most malicious have never accused
+us of brains. I myself may not be very typical,
+but I assure you it isn&rsquo;t my ancestors&rsquo; fault.</q></p>
+
+<p>The latter part of this explanation entirely puzzled
+the Baron. The first statement, though eminently satisfactory,
+was also a little bewildering.</p>
+
+<p><q>Two hondred generations?</q> he asked, courteously.
+<q>Zat is a vary old family. All bore arms you say, Mistair
+Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All,</q> replied Mr Bunker, gravely. <q>The first few
+bore tails as well.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> laughed the Baron. <q>You are a fonny
+man I pairceive, vat you call clown, yes?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What my friends call clown, and I call wit,</q> Mr
+Bunker corrected.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vit! Ha, ha, ha!</q> roared the Baron, whose mind
+<pb n="71"/><anchor id="Pg71"/>
+was now in an El Dorado of humour when jokes grew
+like daisies. His loneliness had disappeared as if by
+magic; as course succeeded course his contentment showed
+itself in a perpetually beaming smile: he ceased to worry
+even about his friend&rsquo;s pedigree, convinced in his mind
+that manners so delightful and distinguished could only
+result from repeated quarterings and unoccupied forefathers.
+Yet by the time dessert arrived and he had
+again returned to his port, he began to feel an extreme
+curiosity to know more concerning Mr Bunker. He
+himself had volunteered a large quantity of miscellaneous
+information: about Bavaria, its customs and its people,
+more especially the habits and history of the Blitzenberg
+family; about himself, his parentage and education; all
+about his family ghost, his official position as hereditary
+carpet-beater to the Bavarian Court, and many other
+things equally entertaining and instructive. Mr Bunker,
+for his part, had so far confined his confidences to his
+name.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Bonker,</q> said the Baron at last&mdash;he had
+become quite familiar by this time&mdash;<q>vat make you in
+London? I fear you are bird of passage. Do you stay
+long?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker cracked a nut, looking very serious; then
+he leant on one elbow, glanced up at the ceiling pensively,
+and sighed.</p>
+
+<p><q>I hope I do not ask vat I should not,</q> the Baron
+interposed, courteously.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, ask what you like,</q> replied Mr
+Bunker. <q>In a city full of strangers, or of friends who
+<pb n="72"/><anchor id="Pg72"/>
+have forgotten me, you alone have my confidence. My
+story is a common one of youthful folly and present
+repentance, but such as it is, you are welcome to it.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron gulped down half a glass of port and leaned
+forward sympathetically.</p>
+
+<p><q>My father,</q> Mr Bunker continued with an air of
+half-sad reminiscence, <q>is one of the largest landowners
+and the head of one of the most ancient families in the
+north of England. I was his eldest son and heir. I am
+still, I have every reason to believe, his eldest son, but
+my heirship, I regret to say, is more doubtful. I spent
+a prodigal youth and a larger sum of money than my
+poor father approved of. He was a strict though a kind
+parent, and for the good of my health and the replenishment
+of the family coffers, which had been sadly drained
+by my extravagance, he sent me abroad. There I have
+led a roving life for the last six years, and at last, my wild
+oats sown, reaped, and gathered in (and a well-filled stackyard
+they made, I can assure you), I decided to return to
+England and become an ornament to respectable society.
+Like you, I arrived in London to-day, but only to find
+to my disgust that my family have gone to winter in
+Egypt. So you see that at present I am like a shipwrecked
+sailor clinging to a rock and waiting, with what
+patience I can muster, for a boat to take me off.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You mean,</q> inquired the Baron, anxiously, <q>that
+you vish to go to Egypt at vonce?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I had thought of it; though there is a difficulty in the
+way, I admit.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You vill not stay zen here?</q>
+<pb n="73"/><anchor id="Pg73"/>
+<q>My dear Baron, why should I? I have neither
+friends nor&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>He stopped abruptly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I do not like to zink I shall lose your company so
+soon.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I admit,</q> allowed Mr Bunker, <q>that this fortunate
+meeting tempts me to stay.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vy not?</q> said the Baron, cordially. <q>Can your
+fader not vait to see you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I hardly think he will worry about me, I confess.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zen stay, my goot Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Unfortunately there is the same difficulty as stands
+in the way of my going to Egypt.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And may I inquire vat zat is?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To tell you the truth,</q> replied Mr Bunker, with an
+air of reluctant candour, <q>my funds are rather low. I
+had trusted to finding my father at home, but as he
+isn&rsquo;t, why&qdash;</q> he shrugged his shoulders and threw
+himself back in his chair.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron seemed struck with an idea which he hesitated
+to express.</p>
+
+<p><q>Shall we smoke?</q> his friend suggested.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vaiter!</q> cried the Baron, <q>bring here two best cigars
+and two coffee!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A liqueur, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, yah. Vat for you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A liqueur brandy suggests itself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vaiter! and two brandy.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And now,</q> said the Baron, <q>I haf an idea, Bonker.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0202" type="chapter">
+<pb n="74"/><anchor id="Pg74"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, as I have said,
+had a warm heart. He was, besides, alone in one hundred
+and twenty square miles of strangers and foreigners
+when he had happened upon this congenial spirit. He
+began in a tone of the most ingenuous friendliness&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><q>I haf no friends here. My introdogtions zey are
+gone. Bot I haf moch money, and I vish a, vat you
+say?&mdash;showman, ha, ha, ha! You haf too leetle money
+and no friends and you can show. You show and I
+will loan you vat you vish. May I dare to suggest?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My goot Bonker! I am in airnest, I assure. Vy not?
+It is vun gentleman and anozzer.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are far too kind.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is to myself I am kind, zen. I vant a guide, a
+frient. It is a loan. Do not scruple. Ven your fader
+goms you can pay if you please. It is nozing to me.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, my dear Baron,</q> said Mr Bunker, like a man
+persuaded against his will, <q>what can I say? I confess
+I might find a little difficulty in replenishing my purse
+without resorting to disagreeable means, and if you really
+wish my society, why&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zen it is a bairgain?</q> cried the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>If you insist&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I insist. Vaiter! Alzo two ozzer liqueur. Ve most
+drink to ze bairgain, Bonker.</q></p>
+
+<p>They pledged each other cordially, and talked from
+<pb n="75"/><anchor id="Pg75"/>
+that moment like old friends. The Baron was thoroughly
+pleased with himself, and Mr Bunker seemed
+no less gratified at his own good fortune. Half an hour
+went quickly by, and then the Baron exclaimed, <q>Let us
+do zomzing to-night, Bonker. I burn for to begin zis
+show of London.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What would you care to do, Baron? It is rather
+late, I am afraid, to think of a theatre. What do you say
+to a music-hall?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Music-hall? I haf seen zem at home. Damned
+amusing, das ist ze expression, yes?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is a perfect description.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot,</q> continued the Baron, solemnly, <q>I must not
+begin vid ze vickedest.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And yet,</q> replied his friend, persuasively, <q>even
+wickedness needs a beginning.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot, if I begin I may not stop. Zomzing more qviet
+ze first night. Haf you a club?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker pondered for a moment, and a curious
+smile stole across his face. Then it vanished, and he
+answered readily, <q>Certainly, Baron, an excellent idea.
+I haven&rsquo;t been to my club for so long that it never struck
+me. Let us come.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Goot!</q> cried the Baron, rising with alacrity.</p>
+
+<p>They put on their coats (Mr Bunker&rsquo;s, it may be remarked,
+being a handsome fur-lined garment), the porter
+hailed a cab, and the driver was ordered to take them
+to the Regent&rsquo;s Club in Pall Mall. The Baron knew it
+by reputation as the most exclusive in London, and his
+opinion of his friend rose still higher.</p>
+<pb n="76"/><anchor id="Pg76"/>
+
+<p>They joined a jingling string of other hansoms and
+sped swiftly through the exhilarating bustle of the streets.
+To the Baron it seemed as if a great change had come
+over the city since he wandered disconsolately before
+dinner. Carried swiftly to the music of the little bells
+through the sharp air and the London night that is brighter
+than day, with a friend by his side and a good dinner
+within, he marked the most astonishing difference. All
+the people seemed to talk and laugh, and for his own
+part he found it hard to keep his tongue still.</p>
+
+<p><q>I know ze name of ze Regent&rsquo;s,</q> he said; <q>vun club
+of ze best, is it not?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The very best club, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zey are all noble?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In many cases the receipts for their escutcheons are
+still in their pockets.</q></p>
+
+<p>Though the precise significance of this explanation
+was not quite clear to the Baron, it sounded eminently
+satisfactory.</p>
+
+<p><q>Zo?</q> he said. <q>I shall be moch interested to see
+zem.</q></p>
+
+<p>As they entered the club the porter stared at them
+curiously, and even made a movement as though he
+would step out and address them; but Mr Bunker, wishing
+him a courteous good evening, walked briskly up to
+the hat-and-cloak racks in the hall. A young man had
+just hung up his hat, and as he was divesting himself of
+his coat, Mr Bunker quickly took the hat down, glanced
+at the name inside, and replaced it on its peg. Then he
+held out his hand and addressed the young man cordially.</p>
+<pb n="77"/><anchor id="Pg77"/>
+
+<p><q>Good evening, Transome, how are you?</q> said he,
+and, heedless of the look of surprise on the other&rsquo;s face,
+he turned towards the Baron and added, <q>Let me introduce
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg&mdash;Mr Transome.
+The Baron has just come to England, and I
+thought he couldn&rsquo;t begin better than by a visit to the
+Regent&rsquo;s. Let us come into the smoking-room.</q></p>
+
+<p>In a few minutes they were all on the best of terms.
+A certain perplexity, and almost shyness, that the young
+man showed at first, vanished rapidly before the Baron&rsquo;s
+cordiality and Mr Bunker&rsquo;s well-bred charm of manner.</p>
+
+<p>They were deeply engrossed in a discussion on the
+reigning sovereign of the Baron&rsquo;s native land, a monarch
+of whose enlightened policy that nobleman spoke with
+pardonable pride, when two elderly gentlemen entered
+the room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who are these?</q> Mr Bunker whispered to Transome.
+<q>I know them very well, but I am always bad at names.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Lord Fabrigas and General M&rsquo;Dermott,</q> replied
+Transome.</p>
+
+<p>Instantly Mr Bunker rose and greeted the new-comers.</p>
+
+<p><q>Good evening, Lord Fabrigas; good evening, General.
+You have just come in time to be introduced to the Baron
+Rudolph von Blitzenberg, whom you doubtless know
+by reputation.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron rose and bowed, and it struck him that
+elderly English gentlemen were singularly stiff and constrained
+in their manner. Mr Bunker, however, continued
+cheerfully, <q>We are just going to have a smoking
+concert. Will you begin, Baron?</q></p>
+<pb n="78"/><anchor id="Pg78"/>
+
+<p><q>I know not English songs,</q> replied the Baron, <q>bot
+I should like moch to hear.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must join in the chorus, then.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly, Bonker. I haf a voice zat is considered&mdash;vat
+you call&mdash;deafening, yes?&mdash;in ze chorus.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker cleared his throat, and, just as the General
+was on the point of interposing a remark, struck up
+hastily; and for the first time in its long and honourable
+history the smoking-room of the Regent&rsquo;s Club reechoed
+to a popular music-hall ditty.</p>
+
+<lg type="ditty" rend="display">
+  <l><q rend="post: none">They sometimes call &rsquo;em duckies,
+  they sometimes call &rsquo;em pets,</q></l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2">And sometimes they refer to
+  &rsquo;em as dears</l>
+  <l>They live on little matters that a gentleman forgets,</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2">In a little world of giggles and
+  of tears;</l>
+  <l>There are different varieties from which a man may choose,</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2">There are sorts and shapes and
+  sizes without end,</l>
+  <l>But the kind I&rsquo;d pick myself is the kind you introduce</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2"><q rend="pre: none">By the simple
+  title of <q>my lady friend.</q></q></l>
+</lg>
+
+<p><q>Chorus, Baron!</q> And then he trolled in waltz time
+this edifying refrain&mdash;</p>
+
+<lg type="ditty" rend="display">
+  <l><q rend="post: none">My lady friend, my lady friend!</q></l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 6">Can&rsquo;t you twig, dear boys,</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 4">From the sound of the kisses</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2">She isn&rsquo;t my misses,</l>
+  <l><q rend="pre: none">She&rsquo;s only my lady friend!</q></l>
+</lg>
+
+<p>In a voice like a train going over a bridge the Baron
+chimed in&mdash;</p>
+
+<lg type="ditty" rend="display">
+  <l><q rend="post: none">My laty vrient, my laty vrient!</q></l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 6">Cannot you tvig, mine boy,</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 4">Vrom ze sound of ze kiss,</l>
+  <l rend="margin-left: 2">He is not my miss,</l>
+  <l><q rend="pre: none">He is only mine laty vrient!</q></l>
+</lg>
+<pb n="79"/><anchor id="Pg79"/>
+
+<p><q>I am afraid,</q> said Mr Bunker, as they finished the
+chorus, <q>that I can&rsquo;t remember any more. Now, General,
+it&rsquo;s your turn.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Sir,</q> replied that gallant officer, who had listened
+to this ditty in purple and petrified astonishment, <q>I
+don&rsquo;t know who the devil you are, but I can tell you, you
+won&rsquo;t remain a member of this club much longer if you
+come into it again in this state.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I had forgotten,</q> said Mr Bunker, with even more
+than his usual politeness, <q>that such an admirable music-hall
+critic was listening to me. I must apologise for my
+poor effort.</q></p>
+
+<p>Wishing him courteously good-night, he took the Baron
+by the arm and walked out. While that somewhat perplexed
+nobleman was struggling into his coat, his friend
+rapidly and dexterously converted all the silk hats he
+could see into the condition of collapsed opera hats,
+and then picked a small hand-bag off the floor. The
+Baron walked out through the door first, but Mr Bunker
+stopped for an instant opposite the hall-porter&rsquo;s box,
+and crying, <q>Good night to you, sir!</q> hurled the bag
+through the glass, rushed after his friend, and in less
+time than it takes to tell they were tearing up Pall Mall
+in a hansom.</p>
+
+<p>For a few minutes both were silent; then the Baron
+said slowly, <q>I do not qvite onderstand.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron,</q> his friend explained gaily, <q>these
+practical jokes are very common in our clubs. They
+are quite part of our national life, you know, and I
+thought you ought to see everything.</q></p>
+<pb n="80"/><anchor id="Pg80"/>
+
+<p>The Baron said nothing, but he began to realise that
+he was indeed in a foreign country.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0203" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p><q>Vell, Bonker, vat show to-day?</q> said the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker sipped his coffee and smiled back at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>What would you like?</q> said he.</p>
+
+<p>They were sitting in the Baron&rsquo;s private room finishing
+one of the renowned H�tel Mayonaise breakfasts. Out
+of the windows they could see the bright curving river,
+the bare tops of the Embankment trees, a file of barges
+drifting with the tide, and cold-looking clouds hurrying
+over the chaos of brick on the opposite shore. It was a
+bright breezy morning, and the Baron felt in high good-humour
+with his surroundings. On maturer consideration,
+the entertaining experience of the night before had
+greatly raised Mr Bunker in his estimation. He had
+chuckled his way through a substantial breakfast, and in
+such good company felt ready for any adventure that
+might turn up.</p>
+
+<p>He lit a cigar, pushed back his chair, and replied
+blandly, <q>I am in your hands. I am ready to enjoy
+anyzing.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Do you wish instruction or entertainment?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mix zem, Bonker. Entertain by instrogtion; instrogt
+by entertaining.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are epigrammatic, Baron, but devilish vague. I
+presume, however, that you wish entertaining experience
+<pb n="81"/><anchor id="Pg81"/>
+from which a man of your philosophical temperament
+can draw a moral&mdash;afterwards.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha!</q> laughed the Baron. <q>Excellent! You provide
+ze experiences&mdash;I draw ze moral.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And we share the entertainment. The theory is
+perfect, but I&rsquo;m afraid we need a programme. Now, on
+my own first visit to London I remember being taken&mdash;by
+the hand&mdash;to Madame Tussaud&rsquo;s Waxworks, the Tower,
+St Paul&rsquo;s Cathedral, the fishmarket at Billingsgate, the
+British Museum, and a number of other damnably edifying
+spectacles. You might naturally suppose that after
+such a round it would be quite superfluous for me ever to
+come up to town again. Yet, surprising as it may appear,
+most of the knowledge of London I hope to put at
+your disposal has been gained in the course of subsequent
+visits.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot zese places&mdash;Tousaud, Tower,
+Paul&rsquo;s&mdash;are zey not instrogtif?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>If you wish to learn that a great number of years
+ago a vast quantity of inconsequent events occurred, or
+that in an otherwise amusing enough world there are
+here and there collected so many roomfuls of cheerless
+articles, I can strongly recommend a visit to the Tower of
+London or the British Museum.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In mine own gontry,</q> said the Baron, thoughtfully,
+<q>I can lairn zo moch.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then, my dear Baron, while you are here forget it
+all.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And yet,</q> said the Baron, still thoughtfully, <q>somzing
+I should lairn here.</q></p>
+<pb n="82"/><anchor id="Pg82"/>
+
+<p><q>Certainly; you will learn something of what goes on
+underneath a waistcoat and a little of the contents of a
+corset and petticoat. Also of the strange customs of this
+city and the excellence of British institutions.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> laughed the Baron, who thought that if
+his friend had not actually made a jest, it was at least
+time for one to occur. <q>I see, I see. I draw ze moral,
+ha, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>This morning,</q> Mr Bunker continued, reflectively,
+<q>we might&mdash;let me see&mdash;well, we might do a little
+shopping. To tell you the truth, Baron, my South African
+experiences have somewhat exhausted my wardrobe.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, zo. Cairtainly ve vill shop. Bot, Bonker,
+Soud Africa? Vas it not Soud America?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Did I say Africa? America of course I meant.
+Well, let us shop if you have no objections: then we might
+have a little lunch, and afterwards visit the Park. For
+the evening, what do you say to a theatre?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Goot!</q> cried the Baron. <q>Make it tzos.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker&rsquo;s shopping turned out to be a pretty extensive
+operation.</p>
+
+<p><q>Loan vat you please of money,</q> said his friend. <q>A
+gentleman should be dressed in agreement.</q></p>
+
+<p>With now and then an apology for his extravagance,
+he took full advantage of the Baron&rsquo;s generosity, and
+ordered such an assortment of garments that his tailor
+could hardly bow low enough to express his gratification.</p>
+
+<p>After an excellent lunch in the most expensive restaurant
+to be found, they walked arm-in-arm westwards along
+<pb n="83"/><anchor id="Pg83"/>
+Piccadilly, Mr Bunker pointing out the various objects
+of historical or ephemeral interest to be seen in that
+thoroughfare, the Baron drinking in this information
+with the serious air of the distinguished traveller.</p>
+
+<p><q>And now we come to the Park,</q> said Mr Bunker.
+<q>Guard your heart, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> replied the Baron. <q>Zo instrogtion is
+feenished, and now goms entertainment, ha?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With the moral always running through it, remember.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall not forget.</q></p>
+
+<p>The sunshine had brought out a great many carriages
+and a sprinkling of walkers along the railings. The two
+friends strolled among them, eyeing the women and
+stopping now and then to look back at a carriage.</p>
+
+<p><q>I suppose,</q> said the Baron, <q>zat vile you haf been
+avay your frients have forgot you.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke a young man looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and even made a movement as though he would stop
+and speak to him. Mr Bunker looked blandly through
+him and walked on.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do you not know zat gentleman?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Which gentleman?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze young man zat looked so at you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Some young men have a way of staring here, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>A few minutes later a lady in a passing carriage looked
+round sharply at them with an air of great surprise, and
+half bowed.</p>
+
+<p><q>Surely,</q> exclaimed the Baron, <q>zat vas a frient of
+yours!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am not a friend of hers, then,</q> Mr Bunker replied
+<pb n="84"/><anchor id="Pg84"/>
+with a laugh. <q>Her bow I think must have been aimed
+at you.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron shook his head, and seemed to be drawing
+a moral.</p>
+
+<p><q>Baron,</q> his friend exclaimed, suddenly, <q>let us go
+back; here comes one of our most popular phenomena,
+a London fog. We need not stay in the Park to observe
+it.</q></p>
+
+<p>The sun was already obscured; there stole a most
+insidious chill through the air; like the changing of a
+scene on the stage they found themselves in a few minutes
+walking in a little ring of trees and road and iron railings
+instead of a wide sunny park; the roar of the streets came
+from behind a wall of mist that opened mysteriously to let
+a phantom carriage in and out, and closed silently behind
+it again.</p>
+
+<p><q>I like not zis,</q> said the Baron, with a shiver.</p>
+
+<p>By the time they had found Piccadilly again there was
+nothing at all to be seen but the light of the nearest lamp,
+as large and far away as a struggling sun, and the shadowy
+people who flitted by.</p>
+
+<p>Their talk ceased. The Baron turned up his collar
+and sucked his cigar lugubriously, and Mr Bunker
+seemed unusually thoughtful. They had walked nearly
+as far as Piccadilly Circus when they were pulled up by a
+cab turning down a side-street. There was a lamp-post
+at the corner, and under it stood a burly man, his red
+face quite visible as they came up to his shoulder.</p>
+
+<p>In an instant Mr Bunker seized the Baron by the arm,
+pulled him round, and began to walk hastily back again.</p>
+<pb n="85"/><anchor id="Pg85"/>
+
+<p><q>Vat for zis?</q> said the Baron, in great astonishment.</p>
+
+<p><q>We have come too far, thanks to this infernal fog.
+We must cross the street and take the first turning on the
+other side. I must apologise, Baron, for my absence of
+mind.</q></p>
+
+<milestone unit="tb" rend="stars: 5"/>
+
+<p>The cab passed by and the red-faced man strolled on.</p>
+
+<p><q>Like lookin&rsquo; for a needle in a bloomin&rsquo;
+haystack,</q> he said to himself. <q>I might as well go back
+to Clankwood. &rsquo;E&rsquo;s a good riddance, I say.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0204" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed their dinner
+with the relish of approving connoisseurs. Mr Bunker
+commended the hock, and suggested a second bottle;
+the Baron praised the <hi
+rend="font-style: italic">entr�es</hi>, and insisted on another
+helping. The frequent laughter arising from their table
+excited general remark throughout the room, and already
+the waiters were whispering to the other guests that this
+was a German nobleman of royal blood engaged in a
+diplomatic mission of importance, and his friend a ducal
+member of the English Cabinet, at present, for reasons
+of state, incognito.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bonker!</q> exclaimed the Baron, <q>I am in zat frame
+of head I vant a romance, an adventure</q> (lowering his
+voice a little), <q>mit a beautiful lady, Bonker.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It must be a romance, Baron?</q></p>
+<pb n="86"/><anchor id="Pg86"/>
+
+<p><q>A novel, a story to tell to mine frients. In a strange
+city man expects strange zings.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, I&rsquo;ll do my best for you, but I confess the provision
+of romantic adventures is a little outside the programme
+we&rsquo;ve arranged.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha! Ve shall see, ve shall see, Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p>They arrived at the Corinthian Theatre about the
+middle of the first act, for, as Mr Bunker explained, it
+is always well to produce a good first impression, and
+few more effective means can be devised than working
+one&rsquo;s way to the middle of a line of stalls with the play
+already in progress.</p>
+
+<p>Hardly were they seated when the Baron drove his
+elbow into his friend&rsquo;s ribs (draped for the night, it may
+be remarked, with one of the Baron&rsquo;s spare dress-coats)
+and exclaimed in an excited whisper, <q>Next to you,
+Bonker! Ach, zehr h�psch!</q></p>
+
+<p>Even before this hint Mr Bunker had observed that
+the lady on the other side of him was possessed of exceptional
+attractions. For a little time he studied her
+out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed that the stall
+on the farther side of her was empty, that she once or
+twice looked round as though she expected somebody,
+and that she seemed not altogether unconscious of her
+new neighbours. He further observed that her face
+was of a type that is more usually engaged in attack than
+defence.</p>
+
+<p>Then he whispered, <q>Would you like to know her?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, yah!</q> replied the Baron, eagerly. <q>Bot&mdash;can
+you?</q></p>
+<pb n="87"/><anchor id="Pg87"/>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker smiled confidently. A few minutes later
+he happened to let his programme fall into her lap.</p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon,</q> he whispered, softly, and glanced
+into her eyes with a smile ready.</p>
+
+<p>His usual discernment had not failed him. She
+smiled, and instantly he produced his.</p>
+
+<p>A little later her opera-glasses happened to slip from
+her hand, and though they only slipped slowly, it was no
+doubt owing to his ready presence of mind that their fall
+was averted.</p>
+
+<p>This time their fingers happened to touch, and they
+smiled without an apology.</p>
+
+<p>He leant towards her, looking, however, at the play.
+They shared a laugh over a joke that she might have
+been excused for not understanding; presently a criticism
+of some situation escaped him inadvertently, and she
+smiled again; soon after she gave an exclamation and he
+answered sympathetically, and at the end of the act the
+curtain came down on an acquaintance already begun.
+As the lights were turned up, and here and there men
+began to go out, she again looked at the entrances in
+some apparent concern, either lest some one should not
+come in or lest some one should.</p>
+
+<p><q>He is late,</q> said Mr Bunker, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>She gave a very enticing look of surprise, and consented
+to smile back before she coyly looked away again.</p>
+
+<p><q>An erring husband, I presume.</q></p>
+
+<p>She admitted that it was in fact a husband who had
+failed her.</p>
+
+<p><q>But,</q> she added, <q>I&rsquo;m
+afraid&mdash;I mean I expect he&rsquo;ll
+<pb n="88"/><anchor id="Pg88"/>
+come in after the next act. It&rsquo;s so tiresome of him to
+disappoint me like this.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker expressed the deepest sympathy with her
+unfortunate predicament.</p>
+
+<p><q>He has his ticket, of course?</q></p>
+
+<p>But it seemed that she had both the tickets with her,
+an arrangement which he immediately denounced as
+likely to lead to difficulties when her husband arrived.
+He further, in the most obliging manner, suggested that
+he should take the ticket for the other seat to the booking
+office and leave instructions for its being given to the
+gentleman on his arrival. The lady gave him a curious
+little glance that seemed to imply a mixture of doubt as
+to his motives with confidence in his abilities, and then
+with many thanks agreed to his suggestion. Mr Bunker
+took the ticket and rose at once.</p>
+
+<p><q>That I may be sure you are in good company while I
+am away,</q> said he, <q>permit me to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.</q></p>
+
+<p>And the Baron promptly took his vacant seat.</p>
+
+<p>On his return Mr Bunker found his friend wreathed
+in smiles and engaged in the most animated conversation
+with the lady, and before the last act was over, he gathered
+from such scraps of conversation as reached his ears that
+Rudolph von Blitzenberg had little to learn in one department
+of a nobleman&rsquo;s duties.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wonder where my husband can be,</q> the lady
+whispered.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, heed him not, fair lady,</q> replied the Baron.
+<q>Am I not instead of a hosband?</q></p>
+<pb n="89"/><anchor id="Pg89"/>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m afraid you&rsquo;re a very naughty man, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ven I am viz you,</q> the gallant Baron answered, <q>I
+forget myself all bot your charms.</q></p>
+
+<p>These advances being made in the most dulcet tones
+of which the nobleman was master, and accompanied
+by the most enamoured expression, it is not surprising
+that the lady permitted herself to listen to them with
+perhaps too ready an ear. What Mr Bunker&rsquo;s arrangement
+with the booking clerk had been was never quite
+clear, but certainly the erring husband failed to make
+his appearance at all, and at the last fall of the curtain
+she was easily persuaded to let the Baron escort her home.</p>
+
+<p><q>I know I ought not, but if a husband deserts one so
+faithlessly, what can I do?</q> she said, with a very becoming
+little shrug of her shoulders and a captivating lift
+of her eyebrows.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah, vat indeed? He desairves not so fair a consort.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But won&rsquo;t it be troubling you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Trouble? Pleasure and captivation!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Excuse me, Baron,</q> said the voice of Mr Bunker at
+his elbow; <q>if you will wait here at the door I shall send
+up a cab.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Goot!</q> cried the Baron, <q>a zouzand zanks!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I myself,</q> added Mr Bunker, with a profound bow
+to the lady, <q>shall say good night now. The best of
+luck, Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p>In a few minutes a hansom drove up, and the Baron,
+springing in beside his charge, told the man to drive to
+602 Eaton Square.</p>
+
+<p><q>Not too qvickly!</q> he added, in a stage aside.</p>
+<pb n="90"/><anchor id="Pg90"/>
+
+<p>They reached Trafalgar Square, matters inside going
+harmoniously as a marriage bell,&mdash;almost, in fact, too
+much suggesting that simile.</p>
+
+<p><q>Why are we going down Whitehall?</q> the lady exclaimed,
+suddenly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I know not,</q> replied the Baron, placidly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ask him where he is going!</q> she said.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron, as in duty bound, asked, and the reassuring
+reply, <q>All right, sir,</q> came back through the hole in the
+roof.</p>
+
+<p><q>I seem to know that man&rsquo;s voice,</q> the lady said.
+<q>He must have driven me before.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To me all ze English speak ze same,</q> replied the
+Baron. <q>All bot you, my fairest, viz your sound like
+a&mdash;vat you call?&mdash;fiddle, is it?</q></p>
+
+<p>Though his charmer had serious misgivings regarding
+their cabman&rsquo;s topographical knowledge, the Baron&rsquo;s
+company proved so absorbing that it was not till they
+were being rapidly driven over Vauxhall Bridge that she
+at last took alarm. At first the Baron strove to soothe
+her by the most approved Teutonic blandishments, but
+in time he too began to feel concerned, and in a voice
+like thunder he repeatedly called upon the driver to stop.
+No reply was vouchsafed, and the pace merely grew the
+more reckless.</p>
+
+<p><q>Can&rsquo;t you catch the reins?</q> cried the lady, who had
+got into a terrible fright.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron twice essayed the feat, but each time a
+heavy blow over the knuckles from the butt-end of the
+whip forced him to desist. The lady burst into tears.
+<pb n="91"/><anchor id="Pg91"/>
+The Baron swore in five languages alternately, and still
+the cab pursued its headlong career through deserted
+midnight streets, past infrequent policemen and stray
+belated revellers, on into an unknown wilderness of
+brick.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, don&rsquo;t let him murder me!</q> sobbed the lady.</p>
+
+<p><q>Haf cheer, fairest; he shall not vile I am viz you! Gott
+in himmel, ze rascal! Parbleu und blood! Goddam!
+Vait till I catch him, hell and blitzen! Haf courage,
+dear!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh dear, oh dear!</q> wailed the lady. <q>I
+shall <hi rend="font-style: italic">never</hi>
+do it again!</q></p>
+
+<p>They must have covered miles, and still the speed
+never abated, when suddenly, as they were rounding a
+sharp corner, the horse slipped on the frost-bound road,
+and in the twinkling of an eye the Baron and the lady
+were sitting on opposite sides of their fallen steed, and
+the cabman was rubbing his head some yards in front.</p>
+
+<p><q>Teufel!</q> exclaimed the Baron, rising carefully to
+his feet. <q>Ach, mine dearest vun, art thou hurt?</q></p>
+
+<p>The lady was silent for a moment, as though trying
+to decide, and then she burst into hysterical laughter.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, zo,</q> said the Baron, much relieved, <q>zen vill I
+see ze cabman.</q></p>
+
+<p>That individual was still rubbing his head with a rueful
+air, and the Baron was about to pour forth all his bottled-up
+indignation, when at the sight of the driver&rsquo;s face he
+started back in blank astonishment.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is I indeed, my dear Baron,</q> replied that gentleman,
+<pb n="92"/><anchor id="Pg92"/>
+politely. <q>I must ask a thousand pardons for
+causing you this trifling inconvenience. As to your
+friend, I don&rsquo;t know how I am to make my peace with
+her.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot&mdash;bot vat means zis?</q> gasped the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>I was merely endeavouring to provide the spice of
+romance you required, besides giving you the opportunity
+of making the lady&rsquo;s better acquaintance. Can I do
+anything more for you, Baron? And you, my dear
+lady, can I assist you in any way?</q></p>
+
+<p>Both, speaking at once and with some heat, gave a
+decidedly affirmative answer.</p>
+
+<p><q>Where are we?</q> asked the lady, who hovered between
+fright and indignation.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker shrugged his shoulders.</p>
+
+<p><q>It would be rash to hazard an opinion,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well!</q> cried the lady, her indignation quite overcoming
+her fright. <q>Do you mean to say you&rsquo;ve brought
+us here against our wills and probably got me
+into <hi rend="font-style: italic">dreadful</hi>
+trouble, and you don&rsquo;t even know where we are?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker looked up at the heavens with a studious
+air.</p>
+
+<p><q>One <hi rend="font-style: italic">ought</hi> to be
+able to tell something of our whereabouts
+from one of those stars,</q> he replied; <q>but, to tell
+the truth, I don&rsquo;t quite know which. In short, madame,
+it is not from want of goodwill, but merely through
+ignorance, that I cannot direct you.</q></p>
+
+<p>The lady turned impatiently to the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">You&rsquo;ve</hi> helped
+to get me into this mess,</q> she said,
+tartly. <q>What do you propose to do?</q></p>
+<pb n="93"/><anchor id="Pg93"/>
+
+<p><q>My fairest&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t!</q> she interrupted, stamping her foot on the
+frosty road, and then inconsequently burst into tears.
+The Baron and Mr Bunker looked at one another.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is a fine night for a walk, and the cab, I&rsquo;m afraid,
+is smashed beyond hope of redemption. Give the lady
+your arm, Baron; we must eventually arrive somewhere.</q></p>
+
+<p>There was really nothing else for it, so leaving the horse
+and cab to be recovered by the first policeman who chanced
+to pass, they set out on foot. At last, after half an hour&rsquo;s
+ramble through the solitudes of South London, a belated
+cab was hailed and all three got inside. Once on her
+way home, the lady&rsquo;s indignation again gave way to
+fright.</p>
+
+<p><q>What <hi rend="font-style: italic">am</hi> I to do?
+What <hi rend="font-style: italic">am</hi> I to do?</q> she wailed.
+<q>Oh, whatever will my husband say?</q></p>
+
+<p>In his most confident and irresistible manner Mr
+Bunker told her he would make matters all right for her
+at whatever cost to himself; and so infectious was his
+assurance, that, when at last they reached Eaton Square,
+she allowed him to come up to the door of number 602.
+The Baron prudently remained in the cab, for, as he explained,
+<q>My English, he is unsafe.</q></p>
+
+<p>After a prolonged knocking and ringing the door at
+length opened, and an irascible-looking, middle-aged
+gentleman appeared, arrayed in a dressing-gown.</p>
+
+<p><q>Louisa!</q> he cried. <q>What the dev&mdash;where on earth
+have you been? The police are looking for you all over
+London. And may I venture to ask who this is with
+you?</q></p>
+<pb n="94"/><anchor id="Pg94"/>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker bowed slightly and raised his hat.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear sir,</q> he said, <q>we found this lady in a
+lamentable state of intoxication in the Tottenham Court
+Road, and as I understand you have a kind of reversionary
+interest in her, we have brought her here. As for
+you, sir, your appearance is so unprepossessing that I
+am unable to remain any longer. Good night,</q> and
+raising his hat again he entered the cab and drove off,
+assuring the Baron that matters were satisfactorily
+arranged.</p>
+
+<p><q>So you have had your adventure, Baron,</q> he added,
+with a smile.</p>
+
+<p>For a minute or two the Baron was silent. Then he
+broke into a cheerful guffaw, <q>Ha, ha, ha! You are a
+fonny devil, Bonker! Ach, bot it vas pleasant vile it
+lasted!</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0205" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>A few days passed in the most entertaining manner.
+A menu of amusements was regularly prepared suitable
+to a catholic taste, and at every turn the Baron was
+struck by the enterprise and originality of his friend.
+He had, however, a national bent for serious inquiry,
+and now and then doubts crossed his mind whether,
+with all his moral drawing, he was acquiring quite as
+much solid information as he had set out to gain. This
+idea grew upon him, till one morning, after gazing for
+some time at the English newspaper he always made a
+<pb n="95"/><anchor id="Pg95"/>
+point of reading, he suddenly exclaimed, <q>Bonker, I haf
+a doubt!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I have many,</q> replied Mr Bunker; <q>in fact, I have
+few positive ideas left.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot mine is a particulair doubt. Do I lairn enoff?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My own conception of enough learning, Baron, is a
+thing like a threepenny-bit&mdash;the smallest coin one can do
+one&rsquo;s marketing with.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And yet,</q> said the Baron, solemnly, <q>for my own
+share, I am not satisfied. I vould lairn more of ze British
+institutions; so far I haf lairned of ze pleasures only.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, they are the British institutions.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron shook his head and fell to his paper again,
+while Mr Bunker stretched himself on the sofa and
+gazed through his cigar-smoke at the ceiling. Suddenly
+the Baron gave an exclamation of horror.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, what is the matter?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yet anozer outrage!</q> cried the Baron. <q>Zese anarchists,
+zey are too scandalous. At all ze stations zere
+are detectives, and all ze ships are being vatched. Ach,
+it is terrible!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker seemed struck with an idea, for he stared
+at the ceiling without making any reply, and his eyes,
+had the Baron seen them, twinkled curiously.</p>
+
+<p>At last the Baron laid down his paper.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vell, vat shall ve do?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let us come first to Liverpool Street Station, if you
+don&rsquo;t mind, Baron,</q> his friend suggested. <q>I have something
+in the cloak-room there I want to pick up.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Bonker, I shall go vere you vill; bot remember
+<pb n="96"/><anchor id="Pg96"/>
+I vant to-day more instrogtion and less entertainment.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You wish to see the practical side of English life?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yah&mdash;zat is, yes.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker smiled.</p>
+
+<p><q>Then I must entertain myself.</q></p>
+
+<p>As they drove down he was in his wittiest humour,
+and the Baron, in spite of his desire for instruction, was
+more charmed with his friend than ever.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vat fonny zing vill you do next, eh?</q> he asked, as
+they walked arm-in-arm into the station.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am no more the humourist, my dear Baron,&mdash;I
+shall endeavour to edify you.</q></p>
+
+<p>They had arrived at a busy hour, when the platforms
+were crowded with passengers and luggage. A train
+had just come in, and around it the bustle was at its
+height, and the confusion most bewildering.</p>
+
+<p><q>Wait for me here,</q> said Mr Bunker; <q>I shall be
+back in a minute.</q></p>
+
+<p>He started in the direction of the cloak-room, and
+then, doubling back through the crowd, walked down
+the platform and stopped opposite a luggage-van. An
+old gentleman, beside himself with irritation, was struggling
+with the aid of a porter to collect his luggage, and
+presently he left the pile he had got together and made
+a rush in the direction of a large portmanteau that was
+just being tumbled out. Instantly Mr Bunker picked
+up a handbag from the heap and walked quickly off
+with it.</p>
+
+<p><q>Here you are, Baron,</q> he said, as he came up to his
+<pb n="97"/><anchor id="Pg97"/>
+friend. <q>I find there is something else I must do, so do
+you mind holding this bag for a few minutes? If you
+will walk up and down in front of the refreshment-rooms
+here, I&rsquo;ll find you more easily. Is it troubling you too
+much?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not vun bit, Bonker. I am in your sairvice.</q></p>
+
+<p>He put the bag into the Baron&rsquo;s hand with his pleasantest
+smile, and turned away. Rounding a corner, he
+came cautiously back again through the crowd and
+stepped up to a policeman.</p>
+
+<p><q>Keep your eye on that man, officer,</q> he said, in a low
+confidential voice, and an air of quiet authority, <q>and
+put your plain clothes&rsquo; men on his track. I know him
+for one of the most dangerous anarchists.</q></p>
+
+<p>The man started and stared hard at the Baron, and
+presently that unconscious nobleman, pacing the platform
+in growing wonder at Mr Bunker&rsquo;s lengthy absence,
+and looking anxiously round him on all sides, noticed
+with surprise that a number of quietly dressed men,
+with no apparent business in the station, were eyeing
+him with, it seemed to him, an interest that approached
+suspicion. In time he grew annoyed, he returned their
+glances with his haughtiest and most indignant look,
+and finally, stepping up to one of them, asked in no friendly
+voice, <q>Vat for do you vatch me?</q></p>
+
+<p>The man returned an evasive answer, and passing one
+of his fellow-officers, whispered, <q>Foreign; I was sure
+of it.</q></p>
+
+<p>At last the Baron could stand it no longer, and laying
+the bag down by the door of the refreshment-room,
+<pb n="98"/><anchor id="Pg98"/>
+turned hastily away. On the instant Mr Bunker, who
+had watched these proceedings from a safe distance,
+cried in a loud and agonised voice, <q>Down with your
+men, sergeant! Down, lie down! It will explode in
+twenty seconds!</q></p>
+
+<p>And as he spoke he threw himself flat on his face.
+So infectious were his commanding voice and his note
+of alarm that one after another, detectives, passengers,
+and porters, cast themselves at full length on the platform.
+The Baron, filled with terror of anarchist plots,
+was one of the first to prostrate himself, and at that there
+could be no further doubt of the imminence of the peril.</p>
+
+<p>The cabs rattled and voices sounded from outside;
+an engine whistled and shunted at a far platform, but
+never before at that hour of the day had Liverpool Street
+Station been so silent. All held their breath and heard
+their hearts thump as they gazed in horrible fascination
+at that fatal bag, or with closed eyes stumbled through
+a hasty prayer. Fully a minute passed, and the suspense
+was growing intolerable, when with a loud oath an old
+gentleman rose to his feet and walked briskly up to the
+bag.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have a care, sir! For Heaven&rsquo;s sake have a care!</q>
+cried Mr Bunker; but the old gentleman merely bent
+over the terrible object, and, picking it up, exclaimed
+in bewildered wrath, <q>It&rsquo;s my bag! Who the devil
+brought it here, and what&rsquo;s the meaning of this d&mdash;d
+nonsense?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!</q> roared Mr Bunker; while like
+sheepish mushrooms the people sprang up on all sides.</p>
+<pb n="99"/><anchor id="Pg99"/>
+
+<p><q>My dear sir,</q> said Mr Bunker, coming up to the old
+gentleman, and raising his hat with his most affable air,
+<q>permit me to congratulate you on recovering your lost
+property, and allow me further to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Baron von damned-humbug!</q> cried the old gentleman.
+<q>Did you take my bag, sir? and if so, are you a
+thief or a lunatic?</q></p>
+
+<p>For an instant even Mr Bunker himself seemed a trifle
+taken aback; then he replied politely, <q>I am not a thief,
+sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then what <hi rend="font-style: italic">&rsquo;ave</hi> you
+been doing?</q> demanded the sergeant.</p>
+
+<p><q>Merely demonstrating to my friend the Baron the
+extraordinary vigilance of the English police.</q></p>
+
+<p>For a time neither the old gentleman nor the sergeant
+seemed quite capable of taking the same view of the
+episode as Mr Bunker, and, curiously enough, the Baron
+seemed not disinclined to let his friend extricate himself
+as best he could. No one, however, could resist Mr
+Bunker, and before very long he and the Baron were
+driving up Bishopsgate Street together, with the old
+gentleman&rsquo;s four-wheeler lumbering in front of them.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well, Baron, are you satisfied with your morning&rsquo;s
+instruction?</q> asked his friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>A German nobleman is not used to be in soch a
+position,</q> replied the Baron, stiffly.</p>
+
+<p><q>You must admit, however, that the object-lesson in
+the detection of anarchy was neatly presented.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I admit nozing of ze kind,</q> said the Baron, stolidly.</p>
+<pb n="100"/><anchor id="Pg100"/>
+
+<p>For the rest of the drive he sat obdurately silent. He
+went to his room with the mien of an offended man.
+During lunch he only opened his lips to eat.</p>
+
+<p>On his side Mr Bunker maintained a cheerful composure,
+and seemed not a whit put about by his friend&rsquo;s
+lack of appreciation.</p>
+
+<p><q>Anozzer bottle of claret,</q> said the Baron, gruffly, to
+a waiter.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker let him consume it entirely by himself,
+awaiting the results with patience. Gradually his face
+relaxed a little, until all at once, when the bump in the
+bottom of the bottle was beginning to appear above the
+wine, the whole room was startled by a stentorian, <q>Ha,
+ha, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Bonker!</q> cried the Baron, when he had
+finished laughing, <q>forgif me! I begin for to see ze
+moral, ha, ha, ha!</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0206" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron expressed no further wish for instruction,
+but, instead, he began to show a desire for society.</p>
+
+<p><q>Doesn&rsquo;t one fool suffice?</q> his friend asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, yes, my vise fool; ha, ha, ha! Bot sometimes
+I haf ze craving for peoples, museec, dancing&mdash;in vun
+vord, society, Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But this is not the season, Baron. You wouldn&rsquo;t
+mix with any but the best society, would you?</q></p>
+<pb n="101"/><anchor id="Pg101"/>
+
+<p><q>Zere are some nobles in town. In my paper I see
+Lord zis, Duke of zat, in London. Pairhaps my introdogtions
+might be here now.</q></p>
+
+<p>This suggestion seemed to strike Mr Bunker unfavourably.</p>
+
+<p><q>My company is beginning to pall, is it, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, no, dear Bonker! I vould merely go out jost
+vunce or tvice. Haf you no friends now in town?</q></p>
+
+<p>An idea seemed to seize Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let me see the paper,</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p>After perusing it carefully for a little, he at last exclaimed
+in a tone of pleased discovery, <q>Hullo! I see
+that Lady Tulliwuddle is giving a reception and dance
+to-night. Most of the smart people in town just now
+are sure to be there. Would you care to go, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, surely,</q> said the Baron, eagerly. <q>Bot haf
+you been invited, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, I used to have a standing invitation to Lady
+Tulliwuddle&rsquo;s dances, and I&rsquo;m certain she would be glad
+to see me again.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Can you take me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Of course, my dear Baron, she will be honoured.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Goot!</q> cried the Baron. <q>Ve shall go.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker explained that it was the proper thing to
+arrive very late, and so it was not until after twelve o&rsquo;clock
+that they left the H�tel Mayonaise for the regions of
+Belgravia. The Baron, primed with a bottle of champagne,
+and arrayed in a costume which Mr Bunker had
+assured him was the very latest extreme of fashion, and
+which included a scarlet watered silk waistcoat, a pair
+<pb n="102"/><anchor id="Pg102"/>
+of white silk socks, and a lavender tie, was in a condition
+of cheerfulness verging closely on hilarity. Mr
+Bunker, that, as he said, he might better serve as a
+foil to his friend&rsquo;s splendour, went more inconspicuously
+dressed, but was likewise well charged with champagne.
+He too was in his happiest vein, and the vision of the
+Baron&rsquo;s finery appeared to afford him peculiar gratification.</p>
+
+<p>Their hansom stopped in front of a large and gaily
+lit-up mansion, with an awning leading to the door,
+and a cluster of carriages and footmen by the kerbstone.
+They entered, and having divested themselves of their
+coats, Mr Bunker proposed that they should immediately
+seek the supper-room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bot should I not be first introduced to mine hostess?</q>
+asked the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron! a formal reception of the guests is
+entirely foreign to English etiquette.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zo? I did not know zat.</q></p>
+
+<p>The supper-room was crowded, and having secured a
+table with some difficulty, Mr Bunker entered immediately
+into conversation with a solitary young gentleman
+who was consuming a plate of oysters. Before they had
+exchanged six sentences the young man had entirely
+succumbed to Mr Bunker&rsquo;s address, aided possibly by
+the young man&rsquo;s supper.</p>
+
+<p><q>Permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph
+von Blitzenberg, a nobleman strange as yet to England,
+but renowned throughout his native land alike for his
+talents and his lofty position,</q> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+<pb n="103"/><anchor id="Pg103"/>
+
+<p><q>Ach, my good friend,</q> exclaimed the Baron, grasping
+the young man&rsquo;s hand, <q>das ist Bonker&rsquo;s vat you call
+nonsense; bot I am delighted, zehr delighted, to meet
+you, and if you gom to Bavaria you most shoot vid me!
+Bravo! Ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>From which it may be gathered that the Baron was in
+a genial humour.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who is that girl?</q> asked Mr Bunker, pointing to an
+extremely pretty damsel just leaving the room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, that&rsquo;s my cousin, Lady Muriel Hilton. She&rsquo;s
+thought rather pretty, I believe,</q> answered the young
+man.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do you mind introducing me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly,</q> said their new friend. <q>Come along.</q></p>
+
+<p>As they were passing through the room a little incident
+occurred that, if the Baron&rsquo;s perceptions had been keener,
+might have given him cause for some speculation. Two
+men standing by the door looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and then at each other, and as the Baron passed them
+he heard one say, <q>It looks devilish like him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He has shaved, then,</q> said the other.</p>
+
+<p><q>Evidently,</q> replied the first speaker; <q>but I thought
+he was unlikely to appear in any society for some time.</q></p>
+
+<p>They both laughed, and the Baron heard no more.</p>
+
+<p>When they reached the ballroom the band was striking
+up a polka, and presently Mr Bunker, with his accustomed
+grace, was tearing round the room with Lady Muriel,
+while the Baron&mdash;the delight of all eyes in his red
+waistcoat&mdash;led out her sister. In a very short time the other
+dancers found the Baron and his friend&rsquo;s onslaught so
+<pb n="104"/><anchor id="Pg104"/>
+vigorous that prudence compelled them to take shelter
+along the wall, and from a safe distance admire the
+evolutions of these two mysterious guests.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker was enlivening the monotony of the polka
+by the judicious introduction of hornpipe steps, while
+the Baron, his coat-tails high above his head, shouted and
+stamped in his wild career.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do stop for a minute, Baron,</q> gasped his fair partner.</p>
+
+<p><q>Himmel, nein!</q> roared the Baron. <q>I haf gom here
+for to dance! Ha, Bonker, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>At last Lady Muriel had to stop through sheer exhaustion,
+but Mr Bunker, merely letting her go, pursued his
+solitary way, double-shuffling and kicking unimpeded.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron stopped, breathless, to admire him. Round
+and round he went, the only figure in the middle of the
+room, his arms akimbo, his feet rat-tatting and kicking
+to the music, while high above the band resounded his
+friend&rsquo;s shouts of <q>Bravo, Bonker! Wundersch�n!
+Gott in himmel, higher, higher!</q> till at length, missing
+the wall in an attempt to find support, the Baron dropped
+with a thud into a sitting posture and continued his demonstrations
+from the floor.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile their alarmed hostess was holding a hasty
+consultation with her husband, and when the music at
+last stopped and Mr Bunker was advancing with his
+most courteous air towards his late partner, Lord Tulliwuddle
+stepped up to him and touched his arm.</p>
+
+<p><q>May I speak to you, sir?</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly,</q> replied Mr Bunker. <q>I shall be honoured.
+Excuse me for one moment, Lady Muriel.</q></p>
+<pb n="105"/><anchor id="Pg105"/>
+
+<p><q>At whose invitation have you come here to-night?</q>
+demanded his host, sternly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I have the pleasure of addressing Lord Tulliwuddle,
+have I not?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You have, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker bent towards him and whispered something
+in his ear.</p>
+
+<p><q>From Scotland Yard?</q> exclaimed his lordship.</p>
+
+<p><q>Hush!</q> said Mr Bunker, glancing cautiously round
+the room, and then he added, with an air of impressive
+gravity, <q>You have a bathroom on the third floor, I
+believe?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I have,</q> replied his host in great surprise.</p>
+
+<p><q>Has it a bell?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, I believe not.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ah, I thought so. If you will favour me by coming
+up-stairs for a minute, my Lord, you will avoid a serious
+private scandal. Say nothing about it at present to any
+one.</q></p>
+
+<p>In blank astonishment and some alarm Lord Tulliwuddle
+went up with him to the third floor, where the
+house was still and the sounds of revelry reached faintly.</p>
+
+<p><q>What does this mean, sir?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>If I am right in my conjectures you will need no
+explanation from me, my Lord.</q></p>
+
+<p>His lordship opened a door, and turning on an electric
+light, revealed a small and ordinary-looking bathroom.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, no bell&mdash;excellent!</q> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>What are you doing with the key?</q> exclaimed his
+host.</p>
+<pb n="106"/><anchor id="Pg106"/>
+
+<p><q>Good night, my Lord. I shall tell them to send up
+breakfast at nine,</q> said Mr Bunker, and stepping quickly
+out, he shut and locked the door.</p>
+
+<p>A minute later he was back in the ballroom looking
+anxiously for the Baron, but that nobleman was nowhere
+to be seen.</p>
+
+<p><q>The devil!</q> he said to himself. <q>Can they have
+tackled him too?</q></p>
+
+<p>But as he ran downstairs a gust of cheerful laughter
+set his mind at ease.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha! Vere is old Bonker? He also vill shoot
+vid me!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Here I am, my dear Baron,</q> he exclaimed gaily,
+as he tracked the voice into the supper-room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, mine dear Bonker!</q> cried the Baron, folding
+him in his muscular embrace, <q>I haf here met friends,
+ve are merry! Ve drink to Bavaria, to England, to
+everyzing!</q></p>
+
+<p>The <q>friends</q> consisted of two highly amused young
+men and two half-scandalised, half-hysterical ladies,
+into the midst of whose supper-table the Baron had projected
+himself with infectious hilarity. They all looked
+up with great curiosity at Mr Bunker, but that gentleman
+was not in the least put about. He bowed politely to
+the table generally, and took his friend by the arm.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is time we were going, Baron,
+I&rsquo;m afraid,</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vat for? Ah, not yet, Bonker, not yet. I am enjoying
+myself down to ze floor. I most dance again, Bonker,
+jost vunce more,</q> pleaded the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, the noblemen of highest rank must
+<pb n="107"/><anchor id="Pg107"/>
+always leave first, and people are talking of going now.
+Come along, old man.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, is zat so?</q> said the Baron. <q>Zen vill I go.
+Good night!</q> he cried, waving his hand to the room
+generally. <q>Ven you gom to Bavaria you most all
+shoot vid me. Bravo, my goot Bonker! Ha! ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>As they turned away from the table, one of the young
+men, who had been looking very hard at Mr Bunker,
+rose and touched his sleeve.</p>
+
+<p><q>I say, aren&rsquo;t you&qdash;?</q> he began.</p>
+
+<p><q>Possibly I am,</q> interrupted Mr Bunker, <q>only I
+haven&rsquo;t the slightest recollection of the fact.</q></p>
+
+<p>An astonished lady was indicated by Mr Bunker as
+the hostess, and to her the Baron bade an affectionate
+adieu. He handed a sovereign to the footman, embraced
+the butler, and as they sped eastwards in their hansom,
+a rousing chorus from the two friends awoke the echoes
+of Piccadilly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bravo, Bonker! Himmel, I haf enjoyed myself!</q>
+sighed the exhausted Baron.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0207" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed a twelve o&rsquo;clock
+breakfast with the relish of men who had done a good
+night&rsquo;s work. The Baron was full of his exploits. <q>Ze
+lofly Lady Hilton</q> and his new <q>friends</q> seemed to
+have made a vivid impression.</p>
+<pb n="108"/><anchor id="Pg108"/>
+
+<p><q>Zey vill be in ze Park to-day, of course?</q> he suggested.</p>
+
+<p><q>Possibly,</q> replied Mr Bunker, without any great
+enthusiasm.</p>
+
+<p><q>But surely.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>After a dance it is rather unlikely.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze Lady Hilton did say she vent to ze Park.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To-day, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I do not remember to-day. I did dance so hard I
+was not perhaps distinct. But I shall go and see.</q></p>
+
+<p>As Mr Bunker&rsquo;s attempts to throw cold water on this
+scheme proved quite futile, he made a graceful virtue of
+necessity, dressed himself with care, and set out in the
+afternoon for the Park. They had only walked as far
+as Piccadilly Circus when in the crowd at the corner his
+eye fell upon a familiar figure. It was the burly, red-faced
+man.</p>
+
+<p><q>The devil! Moggridge again!</q> he muttered.</p>
+
+<p>For a moment he thought they were going to pass
+unobserved: then the man turned his head their way,
+and Mr Bunker saw him start. He never looked over
+his shoulder, but after walking a little farther he called
+the Baron&rsquo;s attention to a shop window, and they stopped
+to look at it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Moggridge
+about twenty yards behind them stopping too.
+He was glancing towards them very doubtfully. Evidently
+his mind was not yet made up, and at once Mr
+Bunker&rsquo;s fertile brain began to revolve plans.</p>
+
+<p>A little farther on they paused before another window,
+and exactly the same thing happened. Then Mr Bunker
+<pb n="109"/><anchor id="Pg109"/>
+made up his mind. He looked carefully at the cabs,
+and at last observed a smart-looking young man driving
+a fresh likely horse at a walking pace beside the pavement.</p>
+
+<p>He caught the driver&rsquo;s eye and raised his stick, and
+turning suddenly to the Baron with a gesture of annoyance,
+exclaimed, <q>Forgive my rudeness, Baron, I&rsquo;m
+afraid I must leave you. I had clean forgotten an important
+engagement in the city for this afternoon.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Appointment in ze city?</q> said the Baron in considerable
+surprise. <q>I did not know you had friends
+in ze city.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I have just heard from my father&rsquo;s man of business,
+and I&rsquo;m afraid it would be impolitic not to see him. Do
+you mind if I leave you here?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Surely, my dear fellow, I vould not stop you. Already
+I feel at home by myself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then we shall meet at the hotel before dinner. Good
+luck with the ladies, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker jumped into the cab, saying only to the
+driver, <q>To the city, as quick as you can.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What part, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, say the Bank. Hurry up!</q></p>
+
+<p>Then as the man whipped up, Mr Bunker had a glimpse
+of Moggridge hailing another cab, and peeping cautiously
+through the little window at the back he saw him starting
+in hot pursuit. He took five shillings out of his pocket
+and opened the trap-door in the roof.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do you see that other cab chasing us, with a red-faced
+man inside?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, sir.</q></p>
+<pb n="110"/><anchor id="Pg110"/>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker handed his driver the money.</p>
+
+<p><q>Get rid of him, then. Take me anywhere through
+the city you like, and when he&rsquo;s off the scent let me
+know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Very good, sir,</q> replied the driver, cracking his whip
+till his steed began to move past the buses and the other
+cabs like a train.</p>
+
+<p>On they flew, clatter and jingle, twisting like a snipe
+through the traffic. Mr Bunker perceived that he had a
+good horse and a good driver, and he smiled in pleasant
+excitement. He lit a cigar, leaned his arms on the doors,
+and settled himself to enjoy the race.</p>
+
+<p>The black lions of Trafalgar Square flew by, then
+the colossal hotels of Northumberland Avenue and the
+railway bridge at Charing Cross, and they were going
+at a gallop along the Embankment. He got swift glimpses
+of other cabs and foot-passengers, the trees seemed to
+flit past like telegraph-posts on a railway, the barges and
+lighters on the river dropped one by one behind them:
+it was a fair course for a race, with never a check before
+Blackfriar&rsquo;s Bridge.</p>
+
+<p>As they turned into Queen Victoria Street he opened
+the lid and asked, <q>Are they still in sight?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, sir; I&rsquo;m afraid we ain&rsquo;t gaining much yet. But
+I&rsquo;ll do it, sir, no fears.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker lay back and laughed.</p>
+
+<p><q>This is better than the Park,</q> he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p>They had a fine drive up Queen Victoria Street before
+they plunged into the whirlpool of traffic at the Bank.
+They were slowly making their way across when the
+<pb n="111"/><anchor id="Pg111"/>
+driver, spying an opening in another stream, abruptly
+wheeled round for Cornhill, and presently they were off
+again at top speed.</p>
+
+<p><q>Thrown them off?</q> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>Tried to, sir, but they were too sharp and got clear
+away too.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker saw that it was going to be a stern chase,
+and laughed again. In order that he might not show
+ostensibly that he was running away, he resisted the
+temptation of having another peep through the back,
+and resigned himself to the chances of the chase.</p>
+
+<p>Through and through the lanes and byways of the city
+they drove, and after each double the answer from the
+box was always the same. The cab behind could not be
+shaken off.</p>
+
+<p><q>Work your way round to Holborn and try a run west,</q>
+Mr Bunker suggested.</p>
+
+<p>So after a little they struck Newgate Street, and presently
+their steed stretched himself again in Holborn Viaduct.</p>
+
+<p><q>Gaining now, cabby?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A little, sir, I think.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker sat placidly till they were well along Holborn
+before he inquired again.</p>
+
+<p><q>Can&rsquo;t get rid of &rsquo;im no &rsquo;ow.
+Afride it ain&rsquo;t much good, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker passed up five shillings more.</p>
+
+<p><q>Keep your tail up. You&rsquo;ll do it yet,</q> he exhorted.
+<q>Try a turn north; you may bother him among the
+squares.</q></p>
+
+<p>So they doubled north, and as the evening closed in
+<pb n="112"/><anchor id="Pg112"/>
+their wearied horse was lashed through a maze of monotonous
+streets and tarnished Bloomsbury Squares.
+And still the other cab stuck to their trail. But when
+they emerged on the Euston Road, Mr Bunker was as
+cheerful as ever.</p>
+
+<p><q>They can&rsquo;t last much longer,</q> he said to his driver.
+<q>Turn up Regent&rsquo;s Park way.</q></p>
+
+<p>A little later he put the usual question and got the
+same unvarying answer.</p>
+
+<p>The horse was evidently beginning to fail, and he saw
+that this chariot-race must soon come to an end. The
+street-lamps and the shop windows were all lit up by this
+time, and the dusk was pretty thick. It seemed to him
+that he might venture to try his luck on foot, and he
+began to look out for an opening where a cab could not
+follow.</p>
+
+<p>They were flogging along a noisy stone-paved road
+where there was little other traffic; on one side stood an
+unbroken row of houses, and on the other were small
+semi-detached villas with little strips of garden about
+them. All at once he saw a doctor&rsquo;s red lamp over the
+door of one of these half villas, and an inspiration came
+upon him.</p>
+
+<p><q>One can always visit a doctor,</q> he said to himself, and
+smiled in great amusement at something in the reflection.</p>
+
+<p>He stopped the cab, handed the man half a sovereign,
+and saying only, <q>Drive away again, quickly,</q> jumped
+out, glanced at the name on the plate, and pulled the bell.
+As he waited on the step he saw the other cab stop a little
+way back, and his pursuer emerge.</p>
+<pb n="113"/><anchor id="Pg113"/>
+
+<p>A frowsy little servant opened the door.</p>
+
+<p><q>Is Dr Twiddel at home?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s abroad, sir,</q> said the maid.</p>
+
+<p><q>No one in at all, then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Dr Billson sees &rsquo;is patients, sir&mdash;w&rsquo;en
+there <hi rend="font-style: italic">his</hi> any.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>When do you expect Dr Billson?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In about an hour, sir, &rsquo;e usually comes hin.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Excellent!</q> thought Mr Bunker. Aloud he said,
+<q>Well, I&rsquo;m a patient. I&rsquo;ll come in and wait.</q></p>
+
+<p>He stepped in, and the door banged behind him.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0208" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VIII.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p><q>This w&rsquo;y, sir,</q> said the maid, and Mr Bunker found
+himself in the little room where this story opened.</p>
+
+<p>The moment he was alone he went to the window and
+peeped cautiously between the slats of the venetian blind.</p>
+
+<p>The street was quiet, both cabs had disappeared, and
+for a minute or two he could see nothing even of Moggridge.
+Then a figure moved carefully from the shelter
+of a bush a little way down the railings, and, after a quick
+look at the house, stepped back again.</p>
+
+<p><q>He means to play the waiting game,</q> said Mr Bunker
+to himself. <q>Long may you wait, my wary Moggridge!</q></p>
+
+<p>He took a rapid survey of the room. He saw the
+medical library, the rented furniture, and the unlit gas-stove;
+and at last his eye fell upon a box of cigarettes.
+To one of these he helped himself and leaned his back
+against the mantelpiece.</p>
+<pb n="114"/><anchor id="Pg114"/>
+
+<p><q>There must be at least one room at the back,</q> he
+reflected; <q>that room must have a window, and beyond
+that window there is all London to turn to. Friend
+Moggridge, I trust you are prepared to spend the evening
+behind your bush.</q></p>
+
+<p>He had another look through the blind and shook his
+head.</p>
+
+<p><q>A little too light yet,&mdash;I&rsquo;d better wait for a quarter
+of an hour or so.</q></p>
+
+<p>To while away the time he proceeded to make a tour of
+the room, for, as he said to himself, when in an unknown
+country any information may possibly come in useful.
+There was nothing whatever from which he could draw
+even the most superficial deduction till he came to the
+writing-desk. Here a heap of bills were transfixed by a
+long skewer, and at his first glance at the uppermost his
+face assumed an expression of almost ludicrous bewilderment.
+He actually rubbed his eyes before he looked a second time.</p>
+
+<p><q>One dozen shirts,</q> he read, <q>four under-flannels,
+four pair socks, one dozen handkerchiefs, two sleeping-suits&mdash;marked
+Francis Beveridge! the account rendered
+to Dr G. Twiddel! What in the name of wonderment
+is the meaning of this?</q></p>
+
+<p>He sat down with the bill in his hand and gazed hard
+at it.</p>
+
+<p><q>Precisely my outfit,</q> he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p><q>Am I&mdash;Does it&qdash;? What a rum thing!</q></p>
+
+<p>He sat for about ten minutes looking hard at the floor.
+Then he burst out laughing, resumed in a moment his
+<pb n="115"/><anchor id="Pg115"/>
+air of philosophical opportunism, and set about a further
+search of the desk. He looked at the bills and seemed to
+find nothing more to interest him. Then he glanced at
+one or two letters in the drawers, threw the first few back
+again, and at last paused over one.</p>
+
+<p><q>Twiddel to Billson,</q> he said to himself. <q>This
+may possibly be worth looking at.</q></p>
+
+<p>It was dated more than a month back from the town
+of Fogelschloss.</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q>Dear Tom,</q> it ran, <q rend="post: none">we are having
+  an A 1 time. Old Welsh is in splendid form, doing the part
+  to perfection. He has never given himself away yet, not even
+  when drunk, which, I am sorry to say, he has been too
+  often. But then old Welsh is so funny when he is drunk
+  that it makes him all the more like the original, or at
+  least what the original is supposed to be.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">Of course we don&rsquo;t dare to
+  venture into places where
+  we would see too many English. This is quite an amusing
+  place for a German town, some baths and a kind of
+  a gambling-table, and some pretty girls&mdash;for Germans.
+  There is a sporting aristocrat here, in an old castle, who
+  is very friendly, and is much impressed with Welsh&rsquo;s
+  account of his family plate and deer-forest, and has asked
+  us once or twice to come out and see him. We are no
+  end of swells, I assure you.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">Ta, ta, old chap. Hope the practice
+  prospers in your hands. Don&rsquo;t kill
+  <hi rend="font-style: italic">all</hi> the
+  patients before I come back.&mdash;Ever thine,</q></p>
+
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none">
+  <hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">GEORGE TWIDDEL</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p><q>From this I conclude that Dr Twiddel is on the
+festive side of forty,</q> he reflected; <q>there are elements
+of mystery and a general atmosphere of alcohol about
+it, but that&rsquo;s all, I&rsquo;m afraid.</q></p>
+<pb n="116"/><anchor id="Pg116"/>
+
+<p>He put it back in the drawer, but the bill he slipped
+into his pocket.</p>
+
+<p><q>And now,</q> thought he, <q>it is time I made the first
+move.</q></p>
+
+<p>After waiting for a minute or two to make sure that
+everything was quiet, he gently stepped out into a little
+linoleum-carpeted hall. On the right hand was the
+front door, on the left two others that must, he thought,
+open into rooms on the back. He chose the nearer at a
+venture, and entered boldly. It was quite dark. He
+closed the door again softly, struck a match, and looked
+round the room. It seemed to be Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s dining-
+and sitting-room.</p>
+
+<p><q>Pipes, photographs, well-sat-in chairs,</q> he observed,
+<q><hi rend="font-style: italic">and</hi> a window.</q></p>
+
+<p>He pulled aside the blind and looked out into the darkness
+of a strip of back-garden. For a minute he listened
+intently, but no sound came from the house. Then he
+threw up the sash and scrambled out. It was quite dark
+by this time: he was enclosed between two rows of vague,
+black houses, with bright windows here and there, and
+chimney-cans faintly cutting their uncouth designs among
+a few pale London stars. The space between was filled
+with the two lines of little gardens and the ranks of walls,
+and in the middle the black chasm of a railway cutting.</p>
+
+<p>A frightened cat bolted before him as he hurried down
+to the foot of the strip, but that was all the life he saw.
+He looked over the wall right into the deep crevasse.
+A little way off, on the one hand, hung a cluster of
+signal-lights, and the shining rails reflected them all along to
+<pb n="117"/><anchor id="Pg117"/>
+the mouth of a tunnel on the other. Turning his head
+this way and that, there was nothing to be seen anywhere
+else but garden wall after garden wall.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s a choice between a hurdle-race through these
+gardens, a cat-walk along this wall, and a descent into
+the cutting,</q> he reflected. <q>The walls look devilish high
+and the cutting devilish deep. Hang me if I know
+which road to take.</q></p>
+
+<p>While he was still debating this somewhat perplexing
+question, he felt the ground begin to quiver under him.
+Through the hum of London there gradually arose a
+louder roar, and in a minute the head-lights of an engine
+flashed out of the tunnel. One after another a string of
+bright carriages followed it, each more slowly than the
+carriage in front, till the whole train was at a standstill
+below him with the red signal-lamp against it.</p>
+
+<p>In an instant his decision was taken. At the peril of
+life and garments he scrambled down the rocky bank,
+picking as he went an empty first-class compartment,
+and just as the train began to move again he swung himself
+up and sprang into a carriage.</p>
+
+<p>Unfortunately he had chosen the wrong one in his
+haste, and as he opened the door he saw a comical vision
+of a stout little old gentleman huddling into the farther
+corner in the most dire consternation.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who are you, sir? What do you want, sir?</q> spluttered
+the old gentleman. <q>If you come any nearer me,
+sir&mdash;one step, sir!&mdash;I shall instantly communicate with
+the guard! I have no money about me. Go away,
+sir!</q></p>
+<pb n="118"/><anchor id="Pg118"/>
+
+<p><q>I regret to learn that you have no money,</q> replied
+Mr Bunker, imperturbably; <q>but I am sorry that I am
+not at present in a condition to offer a loan.</q></p>
+
+<p>He sat down and smiled amicably, but the little gentleman
+was not to be quieted so easily. Seeing that no
+violence was apparently intended, his fright changed into
+respectable indignation.</p>
+
+<p><q>You needn&rsquo;t try to be funny with me, sir. You are
+committing an illegal act. You have placed yourself in
+an uncommonly serious position, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Indeed, sir?</q> replied Mr Bunker. <q>I myself should
+have imagined that by remaining on the rails I should
+have been much more seriously situated.</q></p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman looked at him like an angry small
+dog that longs to bite if it only dared.</p>
+
+<p><q>What is the meaning of this illegal intrusion?</q> he
+demanded. <q>Who are you? Where did you come
+from?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I had the misfortune, sir,</q> explained Mr Bunker,
+politely, <q>to drop my hat out of the window of a neighbouring
+carriage. While I was picking it up the train started,
+and I had to enter the first compartment I could find. I
+am sorry that my entry frightened you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Frightened me!</q> spluttered the old gentleman. <q>I
+am not afraid, sir. I am an honest man who need fear
+no one, sir. I do not believe you dropped your hat. It
+is perfectly uninjured.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It may be news to you, sir,</q> replied Mr Bunker,
+<q>that by gently yet firmly passing the sleeve of your coat
+round your hat in the direction of the nap, it is possible
+<pb n="119"/><anchor id="Pg119"/>
+to restore the gloss. Thus,</q> and suiting the action to
+the word he took off his hat, drew his coat-sleeve across
+it, and with a genial smile at the old gentleman, replaced
+it on his head.</p>
+
+<p>But his neighbour was evidently of that truculent disposition
+which merely growls at blandishments. He
+snorted and replied testily, <q>That is all very well, sir, but
+I don&rsquo;t believe a word of it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>If you prefer it, then, I fell off the telegraph wires in
+an attempt to recover my boots.</q></p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman became purple in the face.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have a care, sir! I am a director of this company,
+and at the next station I shall see that you give a proper
+account of yourself. And here we are, sir. I trust you
+have a more credible story in readiness.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke they drew up beside an underground
+platform, and the irascible old gentleman, with a very
+threatening face that was not yet quite cleared of alarm,
+bustled out in a prodigious hurry. Mr Bunker lay back
+in his seat and replied with a smile, <q>I shall be delighted
+to tell any story within the bounds of strict propriety.</q></p>
+
+<p>But the moment he saw the irate director disappear
+in the crowd he whipped out too, and with the least
+possible delay transferred himself into a third-class
+carriage.</p>
+
+<p>From his seat near the window he watched the old
+gentleman hurry back with three officials at his heels,
+and hastily search each first-class compartment in turn.
+The last one was so near him that he could hear his friend
+say, <q>Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!</q>
+<pb n="120"/><anchor id="Pg120"/>
+And with that the four of them rushed off to the barrier
+to intercept or pursue this suspicious character. Then
+the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr Bunker
+remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself,
+<q>Well, whoever I am, it would seem I&rsquo;m rather
+difficult to catch.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0209" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IX.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker arrived at the H�tel Mayonaise in what,
+from his appearance, was an unusually reflective state of
+mind for him. The other visitors, many of whom had
+begun to regard him and his noble friend with great
+interest, saw him pass through the crowd in the hall
+and about the lifts with a thoughtful air. He went
+straight to the Baron&rsquo;s room. Outside the door he
+paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile,
+and then burst gaily in upon his friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well, my dear Baron!</q> he cried, <q>what luck in the
+Park?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English
+novel. He laid down his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>I do not onderstand your English vays,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much
+amiss, nor was he without a suspicion of the cause. He
+laughed, however, and asked, <q>What&rsquo;s the matter, old
+man?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I vent to ze Park,</q> said the Baron, with a solemn
+deliberation that evidently came hardly to him. <q>I
+<pb n="121"/><anchor id="Pg121"/>
+entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you know, viz taste
+and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked
+under ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people.
+Goddam!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron!</q> expostulated Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron resumed his intense composure with a
+great effort.</p>
+
+<p><q>Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit
+ze ozzer Lady Hilton and vun old lady. I raise my
+hat&mdash;no bow from zem. <q>Pairhaps,</q> I zink, <q>zey see me
+not.</q> Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I
+gomed up and again I raise my hat and I say, <q>How do
+you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you are regovered from
+ze dance.</q> Zat was gorrect, vas it not?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Perfectly,</q> replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.</p>
+
+<p><q>Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer
+Lady Hilton cry, <q>Ach, zat German man!</q> And vy did
+ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, <q>Send him avay!
+How dare you? Insolence!</q> and suchlike vords?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!</q> said
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>Remargable!</q> roared the justly incensed Baron.
+<q>Is it not more zan <hi
+rend="font-style: italic">remargable?</hi> Donner und blitzen!
+Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English vord so bad
+enoff for soch conduct.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It must have been a joke,</q> his friend suggested,
+soothingly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vun dashed bad joke, zen! Ze gentleman said to
+me, <q>Get out of zis, you rasgal!</q> <q>Vat mean you, sare?</q>
+say I. <q>You know quite vell,</q> said he. <q>Glear out!</q>
+<pb n="122"/><anchor id="Pg122"/>
+So I gave him my card and tell him I would be glad to
+see his frient zat he should send, for zat I vas not used
+to be called zo. Zen I raise my hat to ze Lady Hilton
+and say, <q>Adieu, madame, I know now ze English lady,</q>
+and I valk on. Himmel!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What a very extraordinary affair, Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron grunted with inarticulate indignation and
+nearly pulled his moustache out by the roots. Abruptly
+he broke out again, <q>English ladies? I do not believe
+zey are ladies! Never haf I been treated zo! Vat do
+you mean, Bonker, by taking me among soch peoples?</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi>, my dear Baron?
+It was not I who introduced
+you to the Hiltons. I never saw them before.</q></p>
+
+<p>The difficulty of attaching any blame to his friend
+seemed to have anything but a soothing effect on the
+Baron. You could almost fancy that you heard his tail
+lash the floor.</p>
+
+<p><q>Zat vas not all,</q> he continued, after a short struggle
+with his wrath. <q>I valked on, and soon I see two of ze
+frients I made last night at supper.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Which two?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze yong man zat spoke to you ven you rise from ze
+table, and vun of ze ladies. Again I raise my hat and
+say, <q>How do you do? I hope zat you are regovered
+from ze dance.</q> Zat is gorrect, you say?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Under most circumstances.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze man stared at me, and ze voman&mdash;I vill not say
+lady&mdash;says to him zo zat I can hear, <q>Zat awful German!</q>
+Ze man says, <q>Zo it is,</q> and laughed. <q>I haf ze pleasure
+of meeting you last night at ze Lady Tollyvoddle,</q> I said.
+<pb n="123"/><anchor id="Pg123"/>
+<q>I remember,</q> he said; <q>but I haf no vish to meet you
+again.</q> I take out my card to gif him, but he only said,
+<q>Go avay, or I vill call ze police!</q> <q>Ze police! To me,
+Baron von Blitzenberg! Teufel!</q> I replied.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And that was all, Baron?</q> asked Mr Bunker, in
+what seemed rather like a tone of relief.</p>
+
+<p><q>No; suddenly he did turn back and said, <q>By ze vay,
+who vas zat viz you last night?</q> To vich I replied,
+<q>If you address me again, my man, I vill call ze police.
+Go avay!</q></q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bravo, Baron! Ha, ha, ha! Excellent!</q> laughed
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p>This applause served to reinstate the Baron a little in
+his own good opinion. He laughed too, though rather
+noisily than heartily, and suddenly became grave again.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vat means zis, Bonker? Vat haf I done? Vy
+should zey treat me zo?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, you see, my dear Baron,</q> his friend explained,
+<q>I ought to have warned you that it is not usual in England
+to address ladies you have met at a dance without
+some direct invitation on their part. At the same time,
+it is evident that the Hiltons and the other man, who of
+course must be connected with the Foreign Office, are
+aware of some sudden strain in the diplomatic relations
+between England and Germany, which as yet is unknown
+to the public. Your ancient name and your high rank
+have naturally led them to conclude that you are an agent
+of the German Government, and an international significance
+was of course attached to your presence in the
+Park. I certainly think they took a most outrageous
+<pb n="124"/><anchor id="Pg124"/>
+advantage of a trifling detail of etiquette to repulse you;
+but then you must remember, Baron, that their families
+might have been seriously compromised with the Government
+if they had been seen with so prominent a member
+of the German aristocracy in the middle of Hyde Park.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zo?</q> said the Baron, thoughtfully. <q>I begin to
+onderstand. My name, as you say, is cairtainly distinguished.
+Bot zen should I remain in London?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Just what I was wondering, Baron. What do you
+say to a trip down to St Egbert&rsquo;s-on-Sea? It&rsquo;s a very
+select watering-place, and we might spend a week or two
+there very pleasantly.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Egxellent!</q> said the Baron; <q>ven shall we start?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To-morrow morning.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Goot! zo let it be. I am tired of London and of ze
+English ladies&rsquo; manners. Police to ze Baron von Blitzenberg!
+Ve shall go to St Egbert&rsquo;s, Bonker!</q></p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div rend="page-break-before: always" id="LL0300" type="part">
+<pb n="125"/><anchor id="Pg125"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 125%">PART III.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<div id="LL0301" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron and Mr Bunker walked arm-in-arm
+along the esplanade at St Egbert&rsquo;s-on-Sea.</p>
+
+<p><q>Aha!</q> said the Baron, <q>zis is more fresh zan
+London!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes,</q> replied his friend; <q>we are now in the presence
+of that stimulating element which provides patriotic Britons
+with music-hall songs, and dyspeptic Britons with an
+appetite.</q></p>
+
+<p>A stirring breeze swept down the long white esplanade,
+threatening hats and troubling skirts; the pale-green
+south-coast sea rumbled up the shingle; the day was
+bright and pleasant for the time of year, and drove the
+Baron&rsquo;s mischances from his head; altogether it seemed
+to Mr Bunker that the omens were good. They were
+both dressed in the smartest of tweed suits, and walked
+jauntily, like men who knew their own value. Every
+now and then, as they passed a pretty face, the Baron
+would say, <q>Aha, Bonker! zat is not so bad, eh?</q></p>
+
+<p>And Mr Bunker, who seemed not unwilling that his
+friend should find some entertaining distraction in St
+Egbert&rsquo;s, would look at the owners of these faces with a
+prospector&rsquo;s eye and his own unrivalled assurance.</p>
+<pb n="126"/><anchor id="Pg126"/>
+
+<p>They had walked up and down three or four times,
+when a desire for a different species of diversion began
+to overtake the Baron. It was the one kind of desire
+that the Baron never even tried to wrestle with.</p>
+
+<p><q>My vriend Bonker,</q> said he, <q>is it not somevere
+about time for loncheon, eh?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I should say it was precisely the hour.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha! zen, let us gom and eat. Himmel, zis sea
+is ze fellow to make von hungry!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron had taken a private suite of rooms on the
+first floor of the best hotel in St Egbert&rsquo;s, and after a
+very substantial lunch Mr Bunker stretched himself on
+the luxurious sitting-room sofa and announced his intention
+of having a nap.</p>
+
+<p><q>I shall go out,</q> said the Baron. <q>You vill not gom?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall leave you to make a single-handed conquest,</q>
+replied Mr Bunker. <q>Besides, I have a little matter I
+want to look into.</q></p>
+
+<p>So the Baron arranged his hat airily, at what he had
+perceived to be the most fashionable and effective English
+angle, and strutted off to the esplanade.</p>
+
+<p>It was about two hours later that he burst excitedly
+into the room, crying, <q>Aha, mine Bonker! I haf disgovered
+zomzing!</q> and then he stopped in some surprise.
+<q>Ello, vat make you, my vriend?</q></p>
+
+<p>His friend, in fact, seemed to be somewhat singularly
+employed. Through a dense cloud of tobacco-smoke you
+could just pick him out of the depths of an armchair,
+his feet resting on the mantelpiece, while his lap and all
+the floor round about were covered with immense books.
+<pb n="127"/><anchor id="Pg127"/>
+The Baron&rsquo;s curiosity was still further excited by observing
+that they consisted principally of a London and a
+St Egbert&rsquo;s directory, several volumes of a Dictionary
+of National Biography, and one or two peerages and
+county family compilations.</p>
+
+<p>He looked up with a smile. <q>You may well wonder,
+my dear Baron. The fact is, I am looking for a name.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A name! vat name?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Alas! if I knew what it was I should stop looking,
+and I confess I&rsquo;m rather sick of the job.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vich vay do you look, zen?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Simply by wading my way through all the lists of
+names I could steal or borrow. It&rsquo;s devilish dry work.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze name of a vriend, is it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes; but I&rsquo;m afraid I must wait till it comes. And
+what is this discovery, Baron? A petticoat, I presume.
+After all, they are the only things worth finding,</q> and he
+shut the books one after another.</p>
+
+<p><q>A petticoat with ze fairest girl inside it!</q> exclaimed
+the Baron, rapturously.</p>
+
+<p><q>Your eyes seem to have been singularly penetrating,
+Baron. Was she dark or fair, tall or short, fat or slender,
+widow, wife, or maid?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Fair, viz blue eyes, short pairhaps but not too short,
+slender as a&mdash;a&mdash;drom-stick, and I vould say a maid; at
+least I see vun stout old lady mit her, mozzer and daughter
+I soppose.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And did this piece of perfection seem to appreciate
+you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vy should I know? Zey are ze real ladies and pairtend
+<pb n="128"/><anchor id="Pg128"/>
+not to see me, bot I zink zey notice me all ze same.
+Not <q>lady vriends,</q> Bonker, ha, ha, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker laughed with reminiscent amusement,
+and inquired, <q>And how did the romance end&mdash;in a cab,
+Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> laughed the Baron; <q>better zan zat,
+Bonker&mdash;moch better!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker raised his eyebrows.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s hardly the time of year for a romance to end in
+a bathing-machine. You followed the divinity to her
+rented heaven, perhaps?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron bent forward and answered in a stage
+whisper, <q>Zey live in zis hotel, Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then I can only wish you joy, Baron, and if my
+funds allow me, send her a wedding present.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, not quite so fast, my vriend! I am not caught
+so easy.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear fellow, a week at close quarters is sufficient
+to net any man.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ven I marry,</q> replied the Baron, <q>moch most be considered.
+A von Blitzenberg does not mate viz every vun.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A good many families have made the same remark,
+but one does not always meet the fathers-in-law.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha! ve shall see. Bot, Bonker, she is lofly!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron awaited dinner with even more than his
+usual ardour. He dressed with the greatest care, and
+at an absurdly early hour was already urging his friend
+to come down and take their places. Indeed after a time
+there was no withholding him, and they finally took their
+seats in the dining-room before anybody else.</p>
+<pb n="129"/><anchor id="Pg129"/>
+
+<p>At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably
+long intervals a few people dropped in and began to
+study their menus and glance with an air of uncomfortable
+suspicion at their neighbours.</p>
+
+<p><q>I vonder vill she gom,</q> he said three or four times at
+least.</p>
+
+<p><q>Console yourself, my dear Baron,</q> his friend would
+reply; <q>they always come. That&rsquo;s seldom the difficulty.</q></p>
+
+<p>And the Baron would dally with his victuals in the
+most unwonted fashion, and growl at the rapidity with
+which the courses followed one another.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do zey suppose ve vish to eat like&qdash;?</q> he began,
+and then laying his hand on his friend&rsquo;s sleeve, he whispered,
+<q>She goms!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker turned his head just in time to see in the
+doorway the Countess of Grillyer and the Lady Alicia �
+Fyre.</p>
+
+<p><q>Is she not fair?</q> asked the Baron, excitedly.</p>
+
+<p><q>I entirely approve of your taste, Baron. I have only
+once seen any one quite like her before.</q></p>
+
+<p>With a gratified smile the Baron filled his glass, while
+his friend seemed amused by some humorous reflection
+of his own.</p>
+
+<p>The Lady Alicia and her mother had taken their seats
+at a table a little way off, and at first their eyes never
+happened to turn in the direction of the two friends.
+But at last, after looking at the ceiling, the carpet, the
+walls, the other people, everything else in the room it
+seemed, Lady Alicia&rsquo;s glance fell for an instant on the
+Baron. That nobleman looked as interesting as a
+<pb n="130"/><anchor id="Pg130"/>
+mouthful of roast duck would permit him, but the glance
+passed serenely on to Mr Bunker. For a moment it
+remained serene; suddenly it became startled and puzzled,
+and at that instant Mr Bunker turned his own eyes full
+upon her, smiled slightly, and raised his glass to his
+lips.</p>
+
+<p>The glance fell, and the Lady Alicia blushed down to
+the diamonds in her necklace.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron insisted on lingering over his dinner till
+the charmer was finished, and so by a fortuitous coincidence
+they left the room immediately behind the Countess.
+The Baron passed them in the passage, and a few
+yards farther he looked round for his friend, and the
+Countess turned to look for her daughter.</p>
+
+<p>They saw Lady Alicia following with an intensely
+unconscious expression, while Mr Bunker was in the act
+of returning to the dining-room.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wanted to secure a table for breakfast,</q> he explained.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0302" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron was in high hopes of seeing the fair unknown
+at breakfast, but it seemed she must be either
+breakfasting in her own room or lying long abed.</p>
+
+<p><q>I think I shall go out for a little constitutional,</q> said
+Mr Bunker, when he had finished. <q>I suppose the hotel
+has a stronger attraction for you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, yes, I shall remain,</q> his friend replied. <q>Pairhaps
+I may see zem.</q></p>
+<pb n="131"/><anchor id="Pg131"/>
+
+<p><q>Take care then, Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall not propose till you return, Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No,</q> said Mr Bunker to himself, <q>I don&rsquo;t think
+you will.</q></p>
+
+<p>Just outside St Egbert&rsquo;s there is a high breezy sweep
+of downs, falling suddenly to a chalky seaward cliff. It
+overlooks the town and the undulating inland country
+and a great spread of shining sea; and even without a
+spy-glass you can see sail after sail and smoke-wreath
+after smoke-wreath go by all day long.</p>
+
+<p>But Mr Bunker had apparently walked there for other
+reasons than to see the view. He did stop once or twice,
+but it was only to scan the downs ahead, and at the sight
+of a fluttering skirt he showed no interest in anything
+else, but made a straight line for its owner. For her part,
+the lady seemed to await his coming. She gathered her
+countenance into an expression of as perfect unconcern
+as a little heightening of her colour would allow her, and
+returned his salute with rather a distant bow. But Mr
+Bunker was not to be damped by this hint of barbed wire.
+He held out his hand and exclaimed cordially, <q>My dear
+Lady Alicia! this is charming of you!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Of course you understand, Mr Beveridge, it&rsquo;s only&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Perfectly,</q> he interrupted, gaily; <q>I understand
+everything I should and nothing I shouldn&rsquo;t. In fact, I
+have altered little, except in the trifling matter of a beard,
+a moustache or two, and, by the way, a name.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A name?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am now Francis Bunker, but as much at your
+service as ever.</q></p>
+<pb n="132"/><anchor id="Pg132"/>
+
+<p><q>But why&mdash;I mean, have you really changed your
+name?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Circumstances have changed it, just as circumstances
+shaved me.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia made a great endeavour to look haughty.
+<q>I do not quite understand, Mr&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bunker&mdash;a temporary title, but suggestive, and simple
+for the tradesmen.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I do not understand your conduct. Why have you
+changed your name?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Why not?</q></p>
+
+<p>This retort was so evidently unanswerable that Lady
+Alicia changed her inquiry.</p>
+
+<p><q>Where have you been?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Till yesterday, in London.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then you didn&rsquo;t go to your own parish?</q> she demanded,
+reproachfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>There were difficulties,</q> he replied; <q>in fact, a certified
+lunatic is not in great demand as a parish priest. They
+seem to prefer them uncertified.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But didn&rsquo;t you try?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hard, but it was no use. The bishop was out of
+town, and I had to wait till his return; besides, my position
+was somewhat insecure. I have had at least two
+remarkable escapes since I saw you last.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Are you safe here?</q> she asked, hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p><q>With your consent, yes.</q></p>
+
+<p>She looked a little troubled. <q>I don&rsquo;t know that I am
+doing right, Mr Bev&mdash;Bunker, but&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thank you, my friend,</q> he interrupted, tenderly.</p>
+<pb n="133"/><anchor id="Pg133"/>
+
+<p><q>Don&rsquo;t,</q> she began, hastily. <q>You mustn&rsquo;t talk
+like&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Francis Beveridge?</q> he interrupted. <q>The trouble
+is, this rascal Bunker bears an unconscionably awkward
+resemblance to our old friend.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must see that it is quite&mdash;ridiculous.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Absurd,</q> he agreed,&mdash;<q>perfectly preposterous. I
+laugh whenever I think of it!</q></p>
+
+<p>Poor Lady Alicia felt like a man at a telephone who
+has been connected with the wrong person. Again she
+made a desperate shift to fall back on a becoming pride.</p>
+
+<p><q>What do you mean?</q> she demanded.</p>
+
+<p><q>If I mean anything at all, which is always rather
+doubtful,</q> he replied, candidly, <q>I mean that Beveridge
+and his humbug were creatures of an occasion, just as
+Bunker and his are of another. The one occasion is
+passed, and with it the first entertaining gentleman has
+vanished into space. The second gentleman will doubtless
+follow when his time is up. In fact, I may be said
+to be a series of dissolving views.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then isn&rsquo;t what you said true?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m afraid you must be more specific; you see I&rsquo;ve
+talked so much.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What you said about yourself&mdash;and your work.</q></p>
+
+<p>He shook his head humorously. <q>I have no means of
+checking my statements.</q></p>
+
+<p>She looked at him in a troubled way, and then her
+eyes fell.</p>
+
+<p><q>At least,</q> she said, <q>you won&rsquo;t&mdash;you
+mustn&rsquo;t treat me as&mdash;as you did.</q></p>
+<pb n="134"/><anchor id="Pg134"/>
+
+<p><q>As Beveridge did? Certainly not; Bunker is the
+soul of circumspection. Besides, he doesn&rsquo;t require to
+get out of an asylum.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then it was only to get away?</q> she cried, turning
+scarlet.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let us call it so,</q> he replied, looking pensively out to
+sea.</p>
+
+<p>It seemed wiser to Lady Alicia to change the subject.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who is the friend you are staying with?</q> she asked,
+suddenly.</p>
+
+<p><q>My old friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,
+and your own most recent admirer,</q> he replied. <q>I am
+at present living with, in fact I may say upon, him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Does he know?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>If you meet him, you had perhaps better not inquire
+into my past history.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I meant, does he know about&mdash;about your knowing
+me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bless them!</q> thought Mr Bunker; <q>one forgets they&rsquo;re
+not <hi rend="font-style: italic">always</hi> thinking about us!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My noble friend has no idea that I have been so
+fortunate,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia looked relieved. <q>Who is he?</q> she
+asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>A German nobleman of great wealth, long descent,
+and the most accommodating disposition. He is at
+present exploring England under my guidance, and I
+flatter myself that he has already seen and done a number
+of things that are not on most programmes.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia was silent for a minute. Then she said
+<pb n="135"/><anchor id="Pg135"/>
+with a little hesitation, <q>Didn&rsquo;t you get a letter from
+me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A letter? No,</q> he replied, in some surprise.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wrote twice&mdash;because you asked me to, and I
+thought&mdash;I wondered if you were safe.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To what address did you write?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The address you gave me.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And what was that?</q> he asked, still evidently puzzled.</p>
+
+<p><q>You said care of the Archbishop of York would find
+you.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker abruptly looked the other way.</p>
+
+<p><q>By Jove!</q> he said, as if lost in speculation, <q>I must
+find out what the matter was. I can&rsquo;t imagine why they
+haven&rsquo;t been forwarded.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia appeared a little dissatisfied.</p>
+
+<p><q>Was that
+a <hi rend="font-style: italic">real</hi> address?</q> she
+asked, suddenly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Perfectly,</q> he replied; <q>as real as Pentonville Jail or
+the House of Commons.</q> (<q>And as likely to find me,</q>
+he added to himself.)</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia seemed to hesitate whether to pursue the
+subject further, but in the middle of her debate Mr Bunker
+asked, <q>By the way, has Lady Grillyer any recollection
+of having seen me before?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, she doesn&rsquo;t remember you at all.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then we shall meet as strangers?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, I think it would be better; don&rsquo;t you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It will save our imaginations certainly.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia looked at him as though she expected
+something more; but as nothing came, she said, <q>I think
+it&rsquo;s time I went back.</q></p>
+<pb n="136"/><anchor id="Pg136"/>
+
+<p><q>For the present then <hi rend="font-style: italic">au
+revoir</hi>, my dear Alicia. I
+beg your pardon, Lady Alicia; it was that rascal Beveridge
+who made the slip. It now remains to make your
+formal acquaintance.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You&mdash;you mustn&rsquo;t try!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The deuce is in these people beginning with B!</q>
+he laughed. <q>They seem to do things without trying.</q></p>
+
+<p>He pressed her hand, raised his hat, and started back
+to the town. She, on her part, lingered to let him get a
+clear start of her, and her blue eyes looked as though a
+breeze had blown across and ruffled them.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker had reached the esplanade, and was
+sauntering easily back towards the hotel, looking at the
+people and smiling now and then to himself, when he
+observed with considerable astonishment two familiar figures
+strolling towards him. They were none other than
+the Baron and the Countess, engaged in animated conversation,
+and apparently on the very best terms with each
+other. At the sight of him the Baron beamed joyfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>Aha, Bonker, so you haf returned!</q> he cried. <q>In
+ze meanvile I haf had vun great good fortune. Let me
+present my friend Mr Bonker, ze Lady Grillyer.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess bowed most graciously, and raising a
+pair of tortoise-shell-rimmed eye-glasses mounted on a
+stem of the same material, looked at Mr Bunker through
+these with a by no means disapproving glance.</p>
+
+<p>At first sight it was evident that Lady Alicia must
+<q>take after</q> her noble father. The Countess was
+aquiline of nose, large of person, and emphatic in her
+voice and manner.</p>
+<pb n="137"/><anchor id="Pg137"/>
+
+<p><q>You are the <q>showman,</q> Mr Bunker, are you not?</q>
+she said, with a smile for which many of her acquaintances
+would have given a tolerable percentage of their
+incomes.</p>
+
+<p><q>It seems,</q> replied Mr Bunker, smiling back agreeably,
+<q>that the Baron is now the showman, and I must
+congratulate him on his first venture.</q></p>
+
+<p>For an instant the Countess seemed a trifle taken aback.
+It was a considerable number of years since she had
+been addressed in precisely this strain, and in fact at
+no time had her admirers ventured quite so dashingly to
+the attack. But there was something entirely irresistible
+in Mr Bunker&rsquo;s manner, partly perhaps because he never
+made the mistake of heeding a first rebuff. The Countess
+coughed, then smiled a little again, and said to the Baron,
+<q>You didn&rsquo;t tell me that your showman supplied the
+little speeches as well.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I could not know it; zere has not before been ze reason
+for a pretty speech,</q> responded the Baron, gallantly.</p>
+
+<p>If Lady Grillyer had been anybody else, one would
+have said that she actually giggled. Certainly a little
+wave of scandalised satisfaction rippled all over her.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, really!</q> she cried, <q>I don&rsquo;t know which of you
+is the worst offender.</q></p>
+
+<p>All this time, as may be imagined, Mr Bunker had
+been in a state of high mystification at his friend&rsquo;s unusual
+adroitness.</p>
+
+<p><q>How the deuce did he get hold of her?</q> he said to
+himself.</p>
+
+<p>In the next pause the Baron solved the riddle.</p>
+<pb n="138"/><anchor id="Pg138"/>
+
+<p><q>You vil vunder, Bonker,</q> he said, <q>how I did gom to
+know ze Lady Grillyer.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I envied, certainly,</q> replied his friend, with a side
+glance at the now purring Countess.</p>
+
+<p><q>She vas of my introdogtions, bot till after you vent
+out zis morning I did not lairn her name. Zen I said to
+myself, <q>Ze sun shines, Himmel is kind! Here now is ze
+fair Lady Grillyer&mdash;my introdogtion!</q> and zo zat is how,
+you see.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To think of the Baron being here and our only finding
+each other out by chance!</q> said the Countess.</p>
+
+<p><q>By a fortunate providence for me!</q> exclaimed the
+Baron, fervently.</p>
+
+<p><q>Baron,</q> said the Countess, trying hard to look severe,
+<q>you must really keep some of these nice speeches for
+my daughter. Which reminds me, I wonder where she
+can be?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, here she goms!</q> cried the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>Why, how did you know her?</q> asked the Countess.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;I did see her last night at dinnair,</q> explained the
+Baron, turning red.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah, of course, I remember,</q> replied the Countess,
+in a matter-of-fact tone; but her motherly eye was sharp,
+and already it began to look on the highly eligible Rudolph
+with more approval than ever.</p>
+
+<p><q>My daughter Alicia, the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,
+Mr Bunker,</q> she said the next moment.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron went nearly double as he bowed, and the
+flourish of his hat stirred the dust on the esplanade. Mr
+Bunker&rsquo;s salutation was less profound, but his face expressed
+<pb n="139"/><anchor id="Pg139"/>
+an almost equal degree of interested respect.
+Her mother thought that when one of the gentlemen was
+a nobleman with an indefinite number of thousands
+a-year and the other a person of so much discrimination,
+Lady Alicia&rsquo;s own bow might have been a trifle less
+reserved. But then even the most astute mother cannot
+know the reasons for everything.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0303" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p><q>Alicia,</q> said the Countess, <q>it was really a most
+fortunate coincidence our meeting the Baron at St Egbert&rsquo;s.</q></p>
+
+<p>She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her
+daughter. It was not the first time in the course of the
+morning that Lady Alicia had listened to similar observations,
+and perhaps that was why she answered somewhat
+listlessly, <q>Yes, wasn&rsquo;t it?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis,
+<q>I consider him one of the most agreeable and best
+informed young men I have ever met.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Is he?</q> said Lady Alicia, absently.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wonder, Alicia, you hadn&rsquo;t noticed it,</q> her mother
+observed, severely; <q>you talked with him most of the
+afternoon. I should have thought that no observant,
+well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with
+his air and conversation.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;I thought him very pleasant, mamma.</q></p>
+<pb n="140"/><anchor id="Pg140"/>
+
+<p><q>I am glad you had so much sense. He
+is <hi rend="font-style: italic">extremely</hi>
+pleasant.</q></p>
+
+<p>As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged
+to continue his list of virtues herself.</p>
+
+<p><q>He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the
+oldest in Bavaria. I don&rsquo;t remember what I heard his
+income was in pfennigs, or whatever they measure money
+by in Germany, but I know that it is more than �20,000
+a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays,</q>
+she added, as if �20,000 had grown since she was a
+girl.</p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, mamma.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He is considered, besides, an unusually promising
+and intelligent young nobleman, and in Germany, where
+noblemen are still constantly used, that says a great deal
+for him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Does it, mamma?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that
+young Englishmen are beginning to know less than they
+ever did, and in most cases that isn&rsquo;t saying much. Compare
+the Baron with the young men you meet here!</q></p>
+
+<p>She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia
+could only reply, <q>Yes, mamma?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Compare them and see the difference. Look at the
+Baron&rsquo;s friend, Mr Bunker, who is a very agreeable and
+amusing man, I admit, but look at the difference!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What is it?</q> Alicia could not help asking.</p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">What</hi> is it, Alicia!
+It is&mdash;ah&mdash;it&rsquo;s&mdash;er&mdash;it is, in
+short, the effect of a carefully cultivated mind and good
+blood.</q></p>
+<pb n="141"/><anchor id="Pg141"/>
+
+<p><q>But don&rsquo;t you think Mr Bunker cultivated,
+mamma&mdash;and&mdash;and&mdash;well-bred?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He has an amusing way of saying things,&mdash;but then
+you must remember that the Baron is doubtless equally
+entertaining in his native language,&mdash;and possibly a
+superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions
+of the day; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour
+on the relations of something or other in Germany
+to&mdash;er&mdash;something else&mdash;a very important point,
+I assure you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I always thought him very clever,</q> said Lady Alicia
+with a touch of warmth, and then instantly changed
+colour at the horrible slip.</p>
+
+<p><q>You always,</q> said the Countess in alarmed astonishment;
+<q>you hardly spoke to him yesterday, and&mdash;had
+you met him before?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;I meant the Baron, mamma.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But I have just been saying that he
+was <hi rend="font-style: italic">unusually</hi>
+clever.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered
+him only well informed.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia&rsquo;s blushes and confusion deepened. Her
+mother looked at her with a softening eye. Suddenly
+she rose, kissed her affectionately, and said with the tenderness
+of triumph, <q>My <hi rend="font-style: italic">dear</hi> girl!
+Of course he is; clever, well informed, and a
+most <hi rend="font-style: italic">desirable</hi> young man.
+My Alicia could not do&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little
+premature (though the Countess&rsquo;s methods inclined to
+the summary and decisive), and again kissing her daughter
+<pb n="142"/><anchor id="Pg142"/>
+affectionately, remarked gaily, <q>Let me see, why, it&rsquo;s
+almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn&rsquo;t
+really disappoint those young men. I am in the middle
+of such an amusing discussion with Mr Bunker, who is
+really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron&rsquo;s
+judgment.</q></p>
+
+<p>Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more
+relieved at her escape or dismayed at the construction put
+upon her explanation. She went out to meet the Baron,
+determined to give no further colour to her mother&rsquo;s
+unlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced
+and determined a general to leave it at all
+doubtful who should walk by whose side, and who should
+have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but
+Lady Alicia was quite resolved that the Baron&rsquo;s blandishments
+should fall on stony ground.</p>
+
+<p>But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous
+companions. The Baron was so amiable and so
+gallant, that at the end of half an hour she was obliged
+to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should
+treat him with the friendliness of a brother. She learned
+that he had no sisters: her decision was confirmed.</p>
+
+<p>The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh
+heaven of happy loquacity. He poured out particulars
+of his travels, his more recordable adventures, his opinions
+on various social and political matters, and at last even
+of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership,
+and the glories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened
+with what he could not doubt was an interest touched
+with tenderness.</p>
+<pb n="143"/><anchor id="Pg143"/>
+
+<p><q>I wonder,</q> she said, artlessly, <q>that you find anything
+to admire in England&mdash;compared with Bavaria,
+I mean.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Two zings I haf not zere,</q> replied the Baron, waving
+his hand round towards the horizon. <q>Vun is ze vet
+sheet of flowing sea&mdash;says not your poet so? Ze ozzer</q>
+(laying his hand on his heart) <q>is ze Lady Alicia � Fyre.</q></p>
+
+<p>There are some people who catch sentiment whenever
+it happens to be in the air, just as others almost equally
+unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia&rsquo;s reply was much softer than she intended,
+especially as she could have told anybody that the Baron&rsquo;s
+compliment was the merest figure of speech.</p>
+
+<p><q>You needn&rsquo;t have included me: I&rsquo;m
+sure <hi rend="font-style: italic">I&rsquo;m</hi> not a
+great attraction.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none,</q> the Baron smiled.</p>
+
+<p><q>Didn&rsquo;t you see anybody&mdash;I mean, anything in London
+that attracted you&mdash;that you liked?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted
+me; but not zat shall still attract me ven I am
+gone avay.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to
+reply, with the most sisterly kindness, <q>I&mdash;we should,
+of course, like to think that you didn&rsquo;t forget
+us <hi rend="font-style: italic">altogether</hi>.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You need not fear.</q></p>
+
+<p>Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more
+like a second cousin than a brother, and with sudden
+sprightliness she cried, <q>I wonder where that steamer&rsquo;s
+going!</q></p>
+<pb n="144"/><anchor id="Pg144"/>
+
+<p>The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named
+attraction, but for a professed lover of the ocean his
+interest appeared slight. He only replied absently,
+<q>Ach, zo?</q></p>
+
+<p>A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the
+Countess. The attention of Lady Grillyer was divided
+between the agreeable conversation of her companion
+and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of
+pfennigs a-year bending its titled head over her daughter.
+In the middle of one of Mr Bunker&rsquo;s most amusing
+stories she could not forbear interrupting with a complacent
+<q>they <hi rend="font-style: italic">do</hi> make a very
+handsome couple!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked
+critically from his friend&rsquo;s gaily checked back to Lady
+Alicia&rsquo;s trim figure.</p>
+
+<p><q>Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker,</q> said the
+Countess, hastily, realising that she had thought a little
+too loudly.</p>
+
+<p><q>They are like,</q> responded Mr Bunker, replying to
+her first remark&mdash;<q>they are like a pair of gloves.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess raised her brows and looked at him
+sharply.</p>
+
+<p><q>I mean, of course, the best quality.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I think,</q> said the Countess, suspiciously, <q>that you
+spoke a little carelessly.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My simile was a little premature?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I think so,</q> said the Countess, decisively.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let us call them then an odd pair,</q> smiled Mr Bunker,
+unruffled; <q>and only hope that they&rsquo;ll turn out to be the
+same size and different hands.</q></p>
+<pb n="145"/><anchor id="Pg145"/>
+
+<p>The Countess actually condescended to smile back.</p>
+
+<p><q>She is a <hi rend="font-style: italic">dear</hi>
+child,</q> she murmured.</p>
+
+<p><q>His income, I think, is sufficient,</q> he answered.</p>
+
+<p>Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family.
+The Countess replied seriously, <q>I am one of those out-of-date
+people, Mr Bunker, who consider some things
+come before money, but the Baron&rsquo;s birth and position
+are fortunately unimpeachable.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>While his mental qualities,</q> said Mr Bunker, <q>are,
+in my experience, almost unique.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr
+Bunker&rsquo;s discrimination.</p>
+
+<p>Late that night, after they had parted with their friends,
+the Baron smoked in the most unwonted silence while
+Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa. Several times Rudolph
+threw restive glances at his friend, as if he had something
+on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden
+himself of. At last the silence grew so intolerable that
+he screwed up his courage and with desperate resolution
+exclaimed, <q>Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bonker, I am in loff!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.</p>
+
+<p><q>I have also been in love,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>You are not now?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Alas! no.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vy alas?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Because follies <hi rend="font-style: italic">without</hi>
+illusions get so infernally dull, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron smiled a little foolishly.</p>
+<pb n="146"/><anchor id="Pg146"/>
+
+<p><q>I haf ze illusions, I fear.</q> Then he broke out
+enthusiastically, <q>Ach, bot is she not lofly, Bonker?
+If she will bot lof me back I shall be ze happiest man
+out of heaven!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You have wasted no time, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.</p>
+
+<p><q>You are quite sure it is really love this time?</q> his
+friend pursued.</p>
+
+<p><q>Qvite!</q> said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.</p>
+
+<p><q>There are so many imitations.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not so close zat zey can deceive!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> laughed Mr Bunker. <q>These first
+symptoms are common to them all, and yet the varieties
+of the disease are almost beyond counting. I myself
+have suffered from it in eight different forms. There
+was the virulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as
+calf-love; there was the kind that accompanied itself by
+a course of the Restoration dramatists; another form I
+may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided
+into at least two; then there was&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Schtop! schtop!</q> cried the Baron. <q>Ha, ha, ha!
+Zat will do! Teufel! I most examine my heart strictly.
+And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzer kind&mdash;ze
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">real!</hi></q></p>
+
+<p><q>They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way.
+Anything I can do to make you worse shall be done.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zanks, my best of friends,</q> said the Baron, warmly,
+seizing his hand; <q>I knew you would stand by me!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure,
+replied, <q>My dear fellow, I&rsquo;d do anything to oblige
+a friend in such an interesting condition.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0304" type="chapter">
+<pb n="147"/><anchor id="Pg147"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron was a few minutes late in joining the party
+at lunch, and when he appeared he held an open letter
+in his hand. It was only the middle of the next day,
+and yet he could have sworn that last night he was comparatively
+whole-hearted, he felt so very much more in
+love already.</p>
+
+<p><q>Yet anozzer introdogtion has found me out,</q> he said
+as he took his seat. <q>I have here a letter of invitation
+vich I do not zink I shall accept.</q></p>
+
+<p>He threw an amorous glance at Lady Alicia, which
+her watchful mother rightly interpreted as indicating
+the cause of his intended refusal.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who is it this time?</q> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>Sir Richard Brierley of Brierley Park, Dampshire.
+Is zat how you pronounce it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Sir Richard Brierley!</q> exclaimed the Countess;
+<q>why, Alicia and I are going to visit some relatives of
+ours who live only six miles from Brierley Park! When
+has he asked you, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze end of next week.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>How odd! We are going down to Dampshire at the
+end of next week too. You must accept, Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall!</q> exclaimed the overjoyed Baron. <q>Shall
+ve go, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m not asked, I&rsquo;m afraid.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him.</q></p>
+<pb n="148"/><anchor id="Pg148"/>
+
+<p><q>As you please, Baron,</q> replied Mr Bunker, with a
+half glance at Lady Alicia.</p>
+
+<p>The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the
+inevitable hour of separation, and this piece of good
+fortune put him into the highest spirits. He felt so amiable
+towards the whole world that when the four went out
+for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by
+Lady Grillyer&rsquo;s side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and
+Lady Alicia were out of hail ahead. The Baron&rsquo;s face
+fell.</p>
+
+<p><q>Shall I come down to this place?</q> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>Would you like to?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I should be sorry,</q> he replied, <q>to part with&mdash;the
+Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending
+to this sentence, and so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had
+intended.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, if you can&rsquo;t stay away from the Baron, you had
+better go.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so
+charming a person as the Baron; perhaps you can feel
+for me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I think he is very&mdash;nice.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He thinks you very nice.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Does he?</q> said Lady Alicia, with great indifference,
+and a moment later changed the subject.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of
+course it was quite natural that Mr Bunker should find
+it pleasant to walk for a few minutes by the side of the
+fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was artfully
+<pb n="149"/><anchor id="Pg149"/>
+pleading his friend&rsquo;s cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy.
+He remembered Mr Bunker&rsquo;s invariable success with
+the gentler sex, his wit, his happy smile, and his good
+looks; and he began to wish most sincerely that these
+fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat
+breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair
+in front had both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p><q>Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?</q> she suggested;
+and Lady Grillyer&rsquo;s suggestions were of the kind that are
+evidently meant to be acted upon.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, I did forged,</q> said the Baron, absently, and
+without further remark he slackened his pace for a few
+yards and then was off again.</p>
+
+<p><q>You were telling me,</q> gasped the Countess, <q>of something
+you thought of&mdash;doing when&mdash;you went&mdash;home.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zo? Oh yes, it vas&mdash;Teufel! I do not remember.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Really, Baron,</q> said the Countess, decidedly, <q>I
+cannot go any farther at this rate. Let us turn. The
+others will be turning too, in a minute.</q></p>
+
+<p>In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer&rsquo;s
+maternal instincts off their feet, and he suffered
+for it by seeing nothing of either his friend or his charmer
+for an hour and a half.</p>
+
+<p>That night he accepted Sir Richard&rsquo;s invitation, but
+said nothing whatever about bringing a friend.</p>
+
+<p>For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of
+mind as there were hours in each day. He walked and
+rode and drove with Lady Alicia through the most romantic
+spots he could find. He purchased a large assortment
+of golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play
+<pb n="150"/><anchor id="Pg150"/>
+that most dangerous of games for mixed couples. In
+turn he broke every club in his set; the cavities he hewed
+in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but the
+heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to
+damage. There was always a moment at which his
+courage failed him, and in that fatal pause she invariably
+changed the subject with the most innocent air in the
+world.</p>
+
+<p>Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy
+would seize him. Why did she elect to disappear with
+Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had resolved
+should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same
+resolution every morning, but on this particular one
+he had no doubt he would have put his fate to the touch.
+And why on a certain moonlight evening was he left to
+the unsentimental company of the Countess?</p>
+
+<p>He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley
+Park; in fact he shunned discussion of any kind with
+his quondam bosom friend.</p>
+
+<p>The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert&rsquo;s was
+almost at an end. On the day after to-morrow all four
+were going to leave (where Mr Bunker was going, his
+friend never troubled to inquire).</p>
+
+<p>They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron&rsquo;s
+room. That very afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more
+time in Mr Bunker&rsquo;s society than in his, and the Baron
+felt that the hour had come for an explanation.</p>
+
+<p><q>Bonker, I haf a suspection!</q> he exclaimed, suddenly.
+<q>It is not I, bot you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful
+Lady Alicia. You are not doing me fair!</q></p>
+<pb n="151"/><anchor id="Pg151"/>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is so: you are not doing me fair,</q> the Baron reiterated.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear fellow,</q> replied Mr Bunker, <q>it is you are
+so much in love that you have lost your wonted courage.
+You don&rsquo;t use your chances.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I do not get zem.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Nonsense, Baron! I haven&rsquo;t spent one hour in Lady
+Alicia&rsquo;s company to your twenty-four, and yet if I&rsquo;d
+been matrimonially inclined I could have proposed twice
+over. You&rsquo;ve had the chance of being accepted fifty
+times.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I haf not been accepted vunce,</q> said the Baron,
+moodily.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have you put the question?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I haf not dared.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron was silent.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ask her to-morrow.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, Bonker,</q> said the Baron, sadly; <q>she treats me
+not like a lover. She talks of friendship. I do not vish
+a frient!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling.
+<q>You don&rsquo;t think you have touched her heart?</q> he
+asked at length.</p>
+
+<p><q>I fear not.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must try an infallible recipe for winning a
+woman&rsquo;s heart. You must be in trouble.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In trouble!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I have tried it once myself, with great success.</q></p>
+<pb n="152"/><anchor id="Pg152"/>
+
+<p><q>Bot how?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must fall ill.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker smiled artfully. <q>They come to tea in
+our rooms to-morrow, you know. By then, Baron, you
+must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please. A grain
+of Lady Alicia&rsquo;s sympathy is worth more than a ton of
+even your wit.</q></p>
+
+<p>The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit
+escaped the Baron, the scheme delighted him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, Bonker! sch�n! I tvig! Goot!</q> he cried. <q>How
+shall ve do?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Leave it to me.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron reflected, and his smile died away.</p>
+
+<p><q>Sopposing,</q> he said, slowly, <q>zey find out? Is it
+vise? Is it straight?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>They can&rsquo;t find out. They go the next morning,
+and what&rsquo;s to prevent your making a quick recovery and
+pluckily going down to Brierley Park as the interesting
+convalescent? She will know that you&rsquo;ve made a dangerous
+journey on her account.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron&rsquo;s face cleared again.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let us try!</q> he said; <q>anyzing is better zan my present
+state. Bot, be careful, Bonker!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall take the most minute precautions,</q> replied
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0305" type="chapter">
+<pb n="153"/><anchor id="Pg153"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted
+early. The Baron seemed a little nervous now that it
+came so near the venture, but his friend was as cheerful
+as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage
+into Rudolph.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker&rsquo;s bedroom opened out of their common
+sitting-room, and so he declared that in the afternoon
+the Baron must be laid up there.</p>
+
+<p><q>Keep your room all morning,</q> he said, <q>and look as
+pale as you can. I shall make my room ready for you.</q></p>
+
+<p>When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a
+chair and gazed for a few minutes round his bedroom.
+Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant to make the
+bed immediately, and presently went out to do some
+shopping. On the way he sent word to the Countess,
+telling her only that the Baron was indisposed, but that
+in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should have the
+pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning
+he spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of
+the ladies&rsquo; way.</p>
+
+<p>When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted
+upon getting up to eat, the Baron was allowed to enter
+the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of astonishment,&mdash;and
+indeed his surprise was natural. The room
+was as full of flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe,
+<pb n="154"/><anchor id="Pg154"/>
+and fireplace were most artistically draped with art
+hangings; a plate filled with grapes, a large bottle labelled
+<q>Two table-spoonfuls every half hour,</q> and a medicine-glass
+were placed conspicuously on a small table; and,
+most remarkable feature of all, Mr Bunker&rsquo;s bath filled
+with water and alive with goldfish stood by the side of
+the bed. A couple of canaries sang in a cage by the
+window, the half-drawn curtains only permitted the most
+delicate light to steal into the room, and in short the
+whole arrangement reflected the utmost credit on his
+ingenious friend.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.</p>
+
+<p><q>Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>To show your love of nature.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vy so?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>There is nothing that pleases a woman more.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My friend, you zink of everyzing!</q> exclaimed the
+Baron, admiringly.</p>
+
+<p>When four o&rsquo;clock approached he drew a night-shirt
+over his other garments and got into bed. Mr Bunker
+at first was in favour of a complete change of attire, but
+on his friend&rsquo;s expostulating against such a thorough
+precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather
+like the historic blacking of Othello.</p>
+
+<p><q>Leave it all to me, my dear Baron,</q> he said, reassuringly,
+as he tucked him in; and with that he went into
+the other room and awaited the arrival of their guests.</p>
+
+<p>They came punctually. The Countess was full of
+concern for the <q>dear Baron,</q> while Lady Alicia, he
+could not help thinking, appeared unusually reserved.
+<pb n="155"/><anchor id="Pg155"/>
+In fact, his quick eye soon divined that something was
+the matter.</p>
+
+<p><q>She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager
+or has found something
+out<corr sic="."><anchor id="E4"/><ref target="e4">,</ref></corr></q>
+he said to himself.</p>
+
+<p>However, it seemed that if she had found anything
+out it could have nothing to do with the Baron&rsquo;s indisposition,
+for she displayed the most ingenuous sympathy,
+and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly at
+himself.</p>
+
+<p><q>So sudden!</q> exclaimed the Countess.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is rather sudden, but we&rsquo;ll hope it may pass as
+quickly as it came,</q> said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful
+impression of deep concern veiled by a cheerful manner.</p>
+
+<p><q>Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?</q>
+demanded the countess.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and
+replied, <q>Oh, dear, no! that is&mdash;at present, Lady Grillyer,
+we have really no reason to be alarmed.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am <hi rend="font-style: italic">so</hi> sorry,</q>
+murmured Lady Alicia.</p>
+
+<p>Her mother looked at her approvingly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Poor Baron!</q> she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.</p>
+
+<p><q>So far from home!</q> sighed Mr Bunker. <q>And yet
+so cheerful through it all,</q> he added.</p>
+
+<p><q>What did you say was the matter?</q> asked the Countess.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective
+to maintain a little mystery round his friend&rsquo;s malady.</p>
+
+<p><q>The doctor hasn&rsquo;t yet given a decided opinion,</q> he
+replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>Can&rsquo;t we do anything?</q> said Lady Alicia, softly.</p>
+<pb n="156"/><anchor id="Pg156"/>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up
+to the proper pitch of sympathy.</p>
+
+<p><q>Poor Rudolph!</q> he exclaimed. <q>It would cheer
+him immensely, I know, and ease my own anxiety as
+well, if you would venture in to see him for a few minutes.
+In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a
+woman&rsquo;s.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered
+for an instant between those proprieties for which she
+was a famous stickler and this admirable chance of completing
+the Baron&rsquo;s conquest.</p>
+
+<p><q>His relations are far away,</q> said Mr Bunker, looking
+pensively out of the window.</p>
+
+<p><q>We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?</q> suggested
+Lady Grillyer.</p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, mamma,</q> replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity
+that rather surprised their host.</p>
+
+<p>With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies
+into the darkened sick-room. The Baron, striving to
+conceal his exultation under a rueful semblance, greeted
+them with a languid yet happy smile.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you,
+Lady Alicia, how can I zank you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to
+find our host <hi rend="font-style: italic">hors de
+combat</hi>,</q> said the Countess, graciously.</p>
+
+<p><q>Just when you wanted to go away too!</q> added Lady
+Alicia, sympathetically.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.</p>
+
+<p><q>Alas!</q> he replied, <q>it is hard indeed.</q></p>
+<pb n="157"/><anchor id="Pg157"/>
+
+<p><q>You must hurry up and get better,</q> said the Countess,
+in her most cheering sick-room manner. <q>It won&rsquo;t do
+to disappoint the Brierleys, you know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must come down for <hi rend="font-style: italic">part</hi>
+of the time,</q> smiled her daughter.</p>
+
+<p>These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron
+that he placed his hand on his brow and turned slightly
+away to conceal his emotion. At the same time Mr
+Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily
+into a chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his
+own face in his hand.</p>
+
+<p>Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions,
+and looked from one to the other with great concern.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dear me!</q> said the Countess, <q>surely it isn&rsquo;t so very
+serious, Mr Bunker; it isn&rsquo;t
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">infectious</hi>, is it?</q></p>
+
+<p>The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without
+waiting for his more diplomatic friend to reply, he
+answered hastily, <q>Ach, no, it is bot a cold.</q></p>
+
+<p>Lady Grillyer&rsquo;s expression changed.</p>
+
+<p><q>A cold!</q> she said. <q>Dear me, that can&rsquo;t be so very
+serious, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It is a bad cold,</q> said the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>By this time the ladies&rsquo; eyes were growing more used
+to the dim light, and Mr Bunker could see that they
+were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.</p>
+
+<p><q>This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture,</q> said the
+Countess, examining the bottle.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron incautiously admitted it was.</p>
+
+<p><q>Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!</q> she exclaimed;
+<pb n="158"/><anchor id="Pg158"/>
+<q>why, I never heard of taking a cough-mixture in such
+doses. Besides, your cough doesn&rsquo;t seem so very bad,
+Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze doctor told me to take it so,</q> replied the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said,
+with a touch of suspicion in her voice, <q>I thought, Mr
+Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>In the Baron&rsquo;s desire to spare your feelings,</q> replied
+Mr Bunker, gravely, <q>he has been a little inaccurate;
+that is not precisely an ordinary cough-mixture.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh,</q> said the Countess.</p>
+
+<p>Lady Alicia&rsquo;s attention had been strongly attracted
+by the bath, and suddenly she exclaimed, <q>Why, there
+are goldfish in it!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron&rsquo;s nerve was fast deserting him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ze doctor ordered zem,</q> he began&mdash;<q>I mean, I am
+fond of fishes.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man,
+and then turned severely to his friend.</p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">What</hi> is the matter
+with the Baron?</q> she demanded.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic
+measures.</p>
+
+<p><q>The dog was destroyed at once,</q> he replied, with
+intense gravity. <q>It is therefore impossible to say exactly
+what is the matter.</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">The dog!</hi></q> cried
+the two ladies together.</p>
+
+<p><q>By this evening,</q> he continued, <q>we shall know the
+worst&mdash;or the best.</q></p>
+<pb n="159"/><anchor id="Pg159"/>
+
+<p><q>What do you mean?</q> exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing
+a step from the bed.</p>
+
+<p><q>I mean,</q> replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration,
+<q>that this bath is a delicate test. No victim of the
+dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to look&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even
+as he was speaking the Baron&rsquo;s face had passed through
+a series of the most extraordinary expressions, which she
+not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s beginning already!</q> she shrieked. <q>Alicia, my
+love, come quickly. How dare you expose us, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Calm yourselves. I assure you&qdash;</q> pleaded Mr
+Bunker, coming hastily after them, but they were at the
+door before him.</p>
+
+<p>The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying,
+<q>No, no, it is false!</q> he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a
+tweed suit only half concealed by his night-shirt, and,
+forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great
+splash among the startled goldfish.</p>
+
+<p>The Countess paused in the half-opened door and
+looked at him with horror that rapidly passed into intense
+indignation.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am not ill!</q> he cried. <q>It vos zat rascal Bonker&rsquo;s
+plot. He made me! I haf not hydrophobia!</q></p>
+
+<p>Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into
+hysterical giggles. For a moment her mother glared
+at the two young men in silence, and then only remarking,
+<q>I have never been so insulted before,</q> she went
+out, and her daughter followed her.</p>
+
+<p>As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after
+<pb n="160"/><anchor id="Pg160"/>
+roar of laughter, but the humorous side of the situation
+seemed to appeal very slightly to his injured friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>You rascal! you villain!</q> he shouted, <q>zis is ze end
+of our friendship, Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell
+me, sare!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron,</q> gasped Mr Bunker, <q>I could not
+put such an inartistic end to so fine a joke for the
+world.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not
+ze English name bad enoff for you!</q></p>
+
+<p>With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and
+replied, still smiling: <q>After all, Baron, what harm has
+been done? I get all the blame, and the sympathy you
+wanted is sure to turn to you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>False friend!</q> thundered the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron!</q> said Mr Bunker, mildly, <q>whose
+fault was it that the plot miscarried? If you&rsquo;d only left
+it all to me&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor,
+it vas a trick to vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak
+to me nevermore!</q> And with that the infuriated nobleman
+rushed off to his own room.</p>
+
+<p>As there was no further sign of him for the next half
+hour, Mr Bunker, still smiling to himself at the recollection,
+went out to take the air; but just as he was about to
+descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia lingering in a
+passage. He turned back and went up to her.</p>
+
+<p>She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed
+to have a strain of anger running beneath it.</p>
+
+<p><q>I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-day
+<pb n="161"/><anchor id="Pg161"/>
+through the dead-letter office. Nothing was known
+about you at the address you gave.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am not surprised,</q> he replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>Then it was false?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn&rsquo;t
+happen to be mine.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Were you <hi rend="font-style: italic">ever</hi> in the Church?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not to my personal knowledge.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yet you said you were?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I was in an asylum.</q></p>
+
+<p>She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he
+smiled back at her with great amusement.</p>
+
+<p><q>You have deceived <hi rend="font-style: italic">me</hi>,</q>
+she said, <q>and you have treated your other friend&mdash;who
+is far too good for you&mdash;disgracefully.
+Have you anything to say for yourself?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not a word,</q> he replied, cheerfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>You must <hi rend="font-style: italic">never</hi> treat
+me again as&mdash;as I let you.</q></p>
+
+<p>As a smile played for an instant about his face, she
+added quickly, <q>I don&rsquo;t
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">suppose</hi> I shall ever see you
+again. In future we are not
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">likely</hi> to meet.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The lady and the lunatic?</q> said he. <q>Well, perhaps
+not. Good-bye, and better luck.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Good-bye,</q> she answered coldly, and added as they
+parted, <q>my mother, of course, is extremely angry with
+you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>There,</q> he said with a smile, <q>you see I still come in
+useful.</q></p>
+
+<p>She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly
+downstairs and out of the hotel.</p>
+<pb n="162"/><anchor id="Pg162"/>
+
+<p><q>It seems to me,</q> he reflected, <q>that I shall have to
+set out on my adventures again alone.</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0306" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VI.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Baron&rsquo;s natural good temper might have forgiven
+his friend, but all night he was a prey to something against
+which no temper is proof. The Baron was bitterly jealous.
+All through breakfast he never spoke a word, and when
+Mr Bunker asked him what train he intended to take,
+he replied curtly, as he went to the door, <q>Ze 5.30.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And where do you go now?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vat is zat to you? I go for a valk. I vould be
+alone.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Good-bye, then, Baron,</q> said Mr Bunker. <q>I think
+I shall go up to town.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Go, zen,</q> replied the Baron, opening the door; <q>I haf
+no furzer vish to see a treacherous
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">sponge</hi> zat vill neizer
+be true nor fight, bot jost takes money.</q></p>
+
+<p>He slammed the door and went out. If he had waited
+for a moment, he would have seen a look in Mr Bunker&rsquo;s
+face that he had never seen before. He half started
+from his chair to follow, and then sat down again and
+thought with his lips very tight set.</p>
+
+<p>All at once they broke into a smile that was grimmer
+than anything the Baron had known.</p>
+
+<p><q>I accept your challenge, Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg,</q>
+he said to himself; <q>but the weapons I shall choose
+myself.</q></p>
+
+<p>He took a telegraph form, wrote and despatched a
+<pb n="163"/><anchor id="Pg163"/>
+wire, and then with considerable haste proceeded to
+pack. Within an hour he had left the hotel.</p>
+
+<milestone unit="tb" rend="stars: 5"/>
+
+<p>When a servant, later in the day, was performing,
+under the Baron&rsquo;s directions, the same office for him,
+a series of discoveries that still further disturbed his
+peace of mind were jointly made. Not only the more
+sporting portions of his wardrobe but his gun and cartridges
+as well, had vanished, and, search and storm as
+he liked, there was not a trace of them to be found.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ze rascal!</q> he muttered; <q>I did not zink he was zief
+as well.</q></p>
+
+<p>It is hardly wonderful that he arrived at Brierley
+station in anything but an amiable frame of mind. There,
+to his great annoyance and surprise, he found no signs
+of Sir Richard&rsquo;s carriage; there were no stables near,
+and, after fuming for some time on the platform, he
+was forced to leave his luggage with the station-master
+and proceed on foot to Brierley Park.</p>
+
+<p>He arrived shortly before seven o&rsquo;clock, after a dark
+and muddy tramp, and, still swearing under his breath,
+pulled the bell with indignant energy.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am ze Baron von Blitzenberg, bot zere vas no carriage
+at ze station,</q> he informed the butler in his haughtiest
+tones.</p>
+
+<p>The man looked at him suspiciously.</p>
+
+<p><q>The Baron arrived this morning,</q> he said.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ze Baron? Vat Baron? I am ze Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall fetch Sir Richard,</q> said the butler, turning
+away.</p>
+<pb n="164"/><anchor id="Pg164"/>
+
+<p>Presently a stout florid gentleman, accompanied by
+three friends, all evidently very curious and amused
+about something, came to the door, and, to the poor
+Baron&rsquo;s amazement and horror, he recognised in one of
+these none other than Mr Bunker, arrayed with much
+splendour in his own ornate shooting suit.</p>
+
+<p><q>What do you want?</q> asked the florid gentleman,
+sternly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have I ze pleasure of addressing Sir Richard Brierley?</q>
+inquired the Baron, raising his hat and bowing
+profoundly.</p>
+
+<p><q>You have.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zen I must tell you zat I am ze Baron Rudolph von
+Blitzenberg.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Gom, gom, my man!</q> interposed Mr Bunker. <q>I
+know you. Zis man, Sir Richard, has before annoyed
+me. He is vat you call impostor, cracked; he has vollowed
+me from Germany. Go avay, man!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are impostor! You scoundrel, Bonker!</q> shouted
+the wrathful Baron. <q>He is no Baron, Sir Richard!
+Ha! Vould you again deceive me, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must lock him up, I fear,</q> said Mr Bunker.
+<q>To-morrow, my man, you vill see ze police.</q></p>
+
+<p>So completely did the Baron lose his head that he
+became almost inarticulate with rage: his protestations,
+however, were not of the slightest avail. That morning
+Sir Richard had received a wire informing him that the
+Baron was coming by an earlier train than he had originally
+intended, and, since his arrival, the spurious nobleman
+had so ingratiated himself with his host that Sir
+<pb n="165"/><anchor id="Pg165"/>
+Richard was filled with nothing but sympathy for him
+in his persecution. After a desperate struggle the unfortunate
+Rudolph was overpowered and conveyed in
+the undignified fashion known as the frog&rsquo;s march to a
+room in a remote wing, there to pass the night under
+lock and key.</p>
+
+<p><q>The scoundrelly German impostor!</q> exclaimed a
+young man, a fellow visitor of the Baron Bunker&rsquo;s, to a
+tall, military-looking gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Savage seemed lost in thought.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is a curious thing, Trelawney,</q> he replied, at
+length, <q>that the footman who attends the Baron should
+have told my man&mdash;who, of course, told me&mdash;that a number
+of his things are marked <q>Francis Beveridge.</q> It is
+also rather strange that this impostor should have known
+so little of the Baron&rsquo;s movements as to arrive several
+hours after him, assuming he had hatched a plot to impersonate
+him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But the man&rsquo;s obviously mad.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Must be,</q> said the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>The house party were assembled in the drawing-room
+waiting for dinner to be announced. The bogus Baron
+was engaged in an animated discussion with Colonel
+Savage on the subject of Bavarian shootings, and the
+colonel having omitted to inform him that he had some
+personal experience of these, Mr Bunker was serving
+up such of his friend&rsquo;s anecdotes as he could remember
+with sauce more peculiarly his own.</p>
+
+<p><q>Five hondred vild boars,</q> he was saying, <q>eight
+hondred brace of partridges, many bears, and rabbits so
+<pb n="166"/><anchor id="Pg166"/>
+moch zat it took five veeks to bury zem. All zese ve did
+shoot before breakfast, colonel. Aftair breakfast again
+ve did go out&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p>But at that moment his attention was sharply arrested
+by a question of Lady Brierley&rsquo;s.</p>
+
+<p><q>Has Dr Escott arrived?</q> she asked.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron Bunker paused, and in spite of his habitual
+coolness, the observant colonel noticed that he started
+ever so slightly.</p>
+
+<p><q>He came half an hour ago,</q> replied Sir Richard.
+<q>Ah, here he is.</q></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke, a well-remembered figure came into the
+room, and after a welcome from his hostess, the dinner
+procession started.</p>
+
+<p><q>Whoever is that tall fair man in front?</q> Dr Escott
+asked his partner as they crossed the hall.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, that&rsquo;s the Baron von Blitzenberg: such an amusing
+man! We are all in love with him already.</q></p>
+
+<p>All through dinner the spurious Baron saw that Dr
+Escott&rsquo;s eyes turned continually and curiously on him;
+yet never for an instant did his spirits droop or his conversation
+flag. Witty and charming as ever, he discoursed
+in his comical foreign accent to the amusement
+of all within hearing, and by the time the gentlemen
+adjourned to the billiard-room, he had established the
+reputation of being the most delightful German ever
+seen. Yet Dr Escott grew more suspicious and bewildered,
+and Mr Bunker felt that he was being narrowly
+watched. The skill at billiards of a certain Francis
+Beveridge used to be the object of the doctor&rsquo;s unbounded
+<pb n="167"/><anchor id="Pg167"/>
+admiration, and it was with the liveliest interest that he
+watched a game between Colonel Savage and the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>That nobleman knew well the danger of displaying
+his old dexterity, and to the onlookers it soon became
+apparent that this branch of his education had been
+neglected. He not only missed the simplest shots, but
+seemed very ignorant of the rules of the English game,
+and in consequence he came in for a little good-natured
+chaff from Sir Richard and Trelawney. When the
+colonel&rsquo;s score stood at 90 and the Baron had scarcely
+reached 25 Trelawney cried, <q>I&rsquo;ll bet you ten to one you
+don&rsquo;t win, Baron!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What in?</q> asked the Baron, and the colonel noticed
+that for the first time be pronounced a
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">w</hi> correctly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Sovereigns,</q> said Trelawney, gaily.</p>
+
+<p>The temptation was irresistible.</p>
+
+<p><q>Done!</q> said the Baron. With a professional disregard
+for conventions he bolted the white into the middle
+pocket, leaving his own ball nicely beside the red. Down
+in its turn went the red, and Mr Bunker was on the spot.
+Three followed three in monotonous succession, Trelawney&rsquo;s
+face growing longer and Dr Escott getting more
+and more excited, till with a smile Mr Bunker laid down
+his cue, a sensational winner.</p>
+
+<p>His victory was received in silence: Trelawney handed
+over two five-pound notes without a word, and the colonel
+returned to his whisky-and-soda. Dr Escott could contain
+himself no longer, and whispering something to Sir
+Richard, the two left the room.</p>
+
+<p>Imperturbable as ever, Mr Bunker talked gaily for a
+<pb n="168"/><anchor id="Pg168"/>
+few minutes to an unresponsive audience, and then,
+remarking that he would join the ladies, left the room.</p>
+
+<p>A minute or two later Sir Richard, with an anxious
+face, returned with Dr Escott.</p>
+
+<p><q>Where is the Baron?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>Gone to join the ladies,</q> replied Trelawney, adding
+under his breath, <q>d&qdash; n him!</q></p>
+
+<p>But the Baron was not with the ladies, nor, search the
+house as they might, was there a trace to be seen of that
+accomplished nobleman.</p>
+
+<p><q>He has gone!</q> said Sir Richard.</p>
+
+<p><q>What the deuce is the meaning of it?</q> exclaimed
+Trelawney.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Savage smiled grimly and suggested, <q>Perhaps
+he wants to give the impostor an innings.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Dr Escott, I think, can tell you,</q> replied the baronet.</p>
+
+<p><q>Gentlemen,</q> said the doctor, <q>the man whom you
+have met as the Baron von Blitzenberg is none other
+than a most cunning and determined lunatic. He escaped
+from the asylum where I am at present assistant doctor,
+after all but murdering me; he has been seen in London
+since, but how he came to impersonate the unfortunate
+gentleman whom you locked up this afternoon I cannot
+say.</q></p>
+
+<p>Before they broke up for the night the genuine Baron,
+released from confinement and soothed by the humblest
+apologies and a heavy supper, recounted the main events
+in Mr Beveridge <hi rend="font-style: italic">alias</hi>
+Bunker&rsquo;s brief career in town.
+On his exploits in St Egbert&rsquo;s he felt some delicacy in
+touching, but at the end of what was after all only a
+<pb n="169"/><anchor id="Pg169"/>
+fragmentary and one-sided narrative, even the defrauded
+Trelawney could not but admit that, whatever the departed
+gentleman&rsquo;s failings, his talents at least were
+worthy of a better cause.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0307" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER VII.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The party at Brierley Park had gone at last to bed.
+The Baron was installed in his late usurper&rsquo;s room, and
+from the clock-tower the hour of three had just been
+tolled. Sympathy and Sir Richard&rsquo;s cellar had greatly
+mollified the Baron&rsquo;s wrath; he had almost begun to see
+the humorous side of his late experience; as a rival Mr
+Bunker was extinct, and with an easy mind and a placid
+smile he had fallen asleep some two hours past.</p>
+
+<p>The fire burned low, and for long nothing but the
+occasional sigh of the wind in the trees disturbed the
+silence. At length, had the Baron been awake, he might
+have heard the stealthiest of footsteps in the corridor
+outside. Then they stopped; his door was gently opened,
+and first a head and then a whole man slipped in.</p>
+
+<p>Still the Baron slept, dreaming peacefully of his late
+companion. They were driving somewhere in a hansom,
+Mr Bunker was telling one of his most amusing stories,
+when there came a shock, the hansom seemed to turn a
+somersault, and the Baron awoke. At first he thought
+he must be dreaming still; the electric light had been
+turned on and the room was bright as day, but, more
+bewildering yet, Mr Bunker was seated on his bed, gazing
+at him with an expression of thoughtful amusement.</p>
+<pb n="170"/><anchor id="Pg170"/>
+
+<p><q>Well, Baron,</q> he said, <q>I trust you are comfortable
+in these excellent quarters.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron, half awake and wholly astonished, was
+unable to collect his ideas in time to make any reply.</p>
+
+<p><q>But remember,</q> continued Mr Bunker, <q>you have
+a reputation to live up to. I have set the standard high
+for Bavarian barons.</q></p>
+
+<p>The indignant Baron at last recovered his wits.</p>
+
+<p><q>If you do not go away <hi rend="font-style: italic">at
+vonce</hi>,</q> he said, raising himself
+on his elbows, <q>I shall raise ze house upon you!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Have you forgotten that you are talking to a dangerous
+lunatic, who probably never stirs without his razor?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron looked at him and turned a little pale. He
+made no further movement, but answered stoutly enough,
+<q>Vat do you vant?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In the first place, I want my brush and comb, a few
+clothes, and my hand-bag. Events happened rather more
+quickly this evening than I had anticipated.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Take zem.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I should also like,</q> continued Mr Bunker, unmoved,
+<q>to have a little talk with you. I think I owe you some
+explanation&mdash;perhaps an apology or two&mdash;and I&rsquo;m afraid
+it&rsquo;s my last chance.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zay it zen.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Of course I understand that you make no hostile
+demonstration till I am finished? A hunted man must
+take precautions, you know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I vill let you go.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thanks, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker folded his arms, leaned his back against
+<pb n="171"/><anchor id="Pg171"/>
+the foot of the bed, and began in his half-bantering way,
+<q>I have amused you, Baron, now and then, you must
+admit?</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron made no reply.</p>
+
+<p><q>That I place to my credit, and I think few debts are
+better worth repaying. On the other hand, I confess I
+have subsisted for some time entirely on your kindness.
+I&rsquo;m afraid that alone counterbalances the debt, and
+when it comes to my being the means of your taking a
+bath in mixed company and spending an evening in a
+locked room, there&rsquo;s no doubt the balance is greatly on
+your side.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I zink so,</q> observed the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>So I&rsquo;ll tell you a true story, a favour with which I
+haven&rsquo;t indulged any one for some considerable time.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron coughed, but said nothing.</p>
+
+<p><q>My biography for all practical purposes,</q> Mr Bunker
+continued, <q>begins in that sequestered retreat, Clankwood
+Asylum. How and with whom I came there I
+haven&rsquo;t the very faintest recollection. I simply woke up
+from an extraordinary drowsiness to find myself recovering
+from a sharp attack of what I may most euphoniously
+call mental excitement. The original cause of it is very
+dim in my mind, and has, so far as I remember, nothing
+to do with the rest of the story. The attack was very
+short, I believe. I soon came to something more or less
+like myself; only, Baron, the singular thing is, that it was
+to all intents and purposes a new self&mdash;whether better
+or worse, my faulty memory does not permit me to say.
+I&rsquo;d clean forgotten who I was and all about me. I found
+<pb n="172"/><anchor id="Pg172"/>
+myself called Francis Beveridge, but that wasn&rsquo;t my old
+name, I know.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha!</q> exclaimed the Baron, growing interested despite
+himself.</p>
+
+<p><q>And the most remarkable thing of all is that up till
+this day I haven&rsquo;t the very vaguest notion what my real
+name is.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zo?</q> said the Baron. <q>Bot vy should they change it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>There you&rsquo;ve laid your finger on the mystery, Baron.
+Why? Heaven knows: I wish I did!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron looked at him with undisguised interest.</p>
+
+<p><q>Strange!</q> he said, thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<p><q>Damnably strange. I found myself compelled to
+live in an asylum and answer to a new name, and really,
+don&rsquo;t you know, under the circumstances I could give no
+very valid reason for getting out. I seemed to have
+blossomed there like one of the asylum plants. I couldn&rsquo;t
+possibly have been more identified with the place. Besides,
+I&rsquo;m free to confess that for some time my reason,
+taking it all in all, wasn&rsquo;t particularly valid on any point.
+By George, I had a funny time! Ha, ha, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>His mirth was so infectious that the Baron raised his
+voice in a hearty <q>Ha, ha!</q> and then stopped abruptly,
+and said cautiously, <q>Haf a care, Bonker, zey may hear!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>However, Baron,</q> Mr Bunker continued, <q>out I
+was determined to get, and out I came in the manner
+of which perhaps my friend Escott has already informed
+you.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron grinned and nodded.</p>
+
+<p><q>I came up to town, and on my very first evening I
+<pb n="173"/><anchor id="Pg173"/>
+had the good fortune to meet the Baron Rudolph von
+Blitzenberg&mdash;as perhaps you may remember. In my
+own defence, Baron, I may fairly plead that since I could
+remember nothing about my past career, I was entitled
+to supply the details from my imagination. After all,
+I have no proof that some of my stories may not have
+been correct. I used this privilege freely in Clankwood,
+and, in a word, since I couldn&rsquo;t tell the truth if I wanted
+to, I quenched the desire.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You hombog!</q> said the Baron, not without a note of
+admiration.</p>
+
+<p><q>I was, and I gloried in it. Baron, if you ever want to
+know how ample a thing life can be, become a certified
+lunatic! You are quite irresponsible for your debts,
+your crimes, and, not least, your words. It certainly
+enlarges one&rsquo;s horizon. All this time, I may say, I was
+racking my brains&mdash;which, by the way, have been steadily
+growing saner in other matters&mdash;for some recollections
+of my previous whereabouts, my career, if I had any,
+and, above all, of my name.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Can you remember nozing?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I can remember a large country house which I think
+belonged to me, but in what part of the country it stands
+I haven&rsquo;t the slightest recollection. I can&rsquo;t remember
+any family, and as no one has inquired for me, I don&rsquo;t
+suppose I had any. Many incidents&mdash;sporting, festive,
+amusing, and discreditable&mdash;I remember distinctly, and
+many faces, but there&rsquo;s nothing to piece them together
+with. Can you recall one or two incidents in town,
+when people spoke to me or bowed to me?</q></p>
+<pb n="174"/><anchor id="Pg174"/>
+
+<p><q>Yes, vell; I vondered zen.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I suppose they knew me. In a general sort of way I
+knew them. But when a man doesn&rsquo;t know his own
+name, and will probably be replaced in an asylum if he&rsquo;s
+identified, there isn&rsquo;t much encouragement for greeting
+old friends. And do you remember my search for a
+name in the hotel at St Egbert&rsquo;s?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yah&mdash;zat is, yes.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It was for my own I was looking.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You found it not?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No. The worst of it is, I can&rsquo;t even remember what
+letter it began with. Sometimes I think it was M, or
+perhaps N, and sometimes I&rsquo;m almost sure it was E. It
+will come to me some day, no doubt, Baron, but till it
+does I shall have to wander about a nameless man, looking
+for it. And after all, I am not without the consolations
+of a certain useful, workaday kind of philosophy.</q></p>
+
+<p>He rose from the bed and smiled humorously at his
+friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>And now, Baron,</q> he said, <q>it only remains to offer
+you such thanks and apologies as a lunatic may, and
+then clear out before the cock crows. These are my
+brushes, I think.</q></p>
+
+<p>There was still something on the Baron&rsquo;s mind: he lay
+for a moment watching Mr Bunker collect a few odds
+and ends and put them rapidly into a small bag, and
+then blurted out suddenly, <q>Ze Lady Alicia&mdash;do you
+loff her?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>By Jove!</q> exclaimed Mr Bunker, <q>I&rsquo;d forgotten all
+about her. I ought to have told you that I once met her
+<pb n="175"/><anchor id="Pg175"/>
+before, when she showed sympathy&mdash;practical sympathy,
+I may add&mdash;for an unfortunate gentleman in Clankwood.
+That&rsquo;s all.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You do not loff her?</q> persisted the Baron.</p>
+
+<p><q>I, my dear chap? No. You are most welcome to
+her&mdash;<hi rend="font-style: italic">and</hi> the countess.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Does she not loff you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>On my honour, no. I told her a few early reminiscences;
+she happened to discover they were not what is
+generally known as true, and took so absurd a view of
+the case that I doubt whether she would speak to me
+again if she met me. In fact, Baron, if I read the omens
+aright&mdash;and I&rsquo;ve had some experience&mdash;you only need
+courage and a voice.</q></p>
+
+<p>The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of
+the clothes as the Baron sprang out on to the floor, and
+the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in his embrace.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected,
+I haf not been ze true friend; you have sairved me right
+to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a Baron to gom!
+You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have
+varmed my heart. My dear frient!</q></p>
+
+<p>To tell the truth, Mr Bunker looked, for the first time
+in their acquaintance, a little ill at ease. He laughed,
+but it sounded affected.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear fellow&mdash;hang it! You&rsquo;d make me out a
+martyr. As a matter of fact, I&rsquo;ve been such a thorn as
+very few people would stand in their flesh. There&rsquo;s
+nothing to forgive, my dear Baron, and a lot to thank
+you for.</q></p>
+<pb n="176"/><anchor id="Pg176"/>
+
+<p><q>I haf been rude, Bonker; I haf insulted you! You
+forgif me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With all my heart, if you think it&rsquo;s needed, but&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And you vill not go now? You vill stay here?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What, two Barons at once? My dear chap, we&rsquo;d
+merely confuse the butler.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, you vill joke, you hombog! But you most
+stay!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And what about my friend, Dr Escott? No, Baron,
+it would only mean breakfast and the next train to Clankwood.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Zey vill not take you ven you tell zem! I shall insist
+viz Sir Richard!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The law is the law, Baron, and I&rsquo;m a certified lunatic.
+Here we must part till the weather clears; and mind, you
+mustn&rsquo;t say a word about my coming to see you.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron looked at him disconsolately.</p>
+
+<p><q>You most really go, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Really, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And vere to?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>To London town again by the milk train.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And vat vill you do zere?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Look for my name.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Bot how?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker hesitated.</p>
+
+<p><q>I have a little clue,</q> he said at last, <q>only a thread,
+but I&rsquo;ll try it for what it&rsquo;s worth.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Haf you money enoff?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thanks to your generosity and my skill at billiards,
+yes, which reminds me that I must return poor Trelawney&rsquo;s
+<pb n="177"/><anchor id="Pg177"/>
+ten pounds some day. At present, I can&rsquo;t
+afford to be scrupulous. So, you see, I&rsquo;m provided
+for.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Cigars at least, Bonker! You most smoke, my frient
+vizout a name!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron, night-shirted and barefooted as he was,
+dived into his portmanteau and produced a large box of
+cigars.</p>
+
+<p><q>You like zese, Bonker. Zey are your own choice.
+Smoke zem and zink of me!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A few, Baron, would be a pleasant reminiscence,</q>
+said his friend, with a smile, <q>if you really insist.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All, Bonker,&mdash;I vill not keep vun! I can get more.
+No, you most take zem all!</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker opened his bag and put in the box without
+a word.</p>
+
+<p><q>You most write,</q> said the Baron, <q>tell me vere you
+are. I shall not tell any soul, bot ven I can, I shall gom
+up, and ve shall sup togezzer vunce more. Pairhaps ve
+may haf anozzer adventure, ha, ha!</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron&rsquo;s laugh was almost too hearty to be true.</p>
+
+<p><q>I shall let you know, as soon as I find a room. It
+won&rsquo;t be in the Mayonaise this time! Good-bye: good
+sport and luck in love!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Good-bye, my frient, good-bye,</q> said the Baron,
+squeezing his hand.</p>
+
+<p>His friend was half out of the door when he turned,
+and said with an intonation quite foreign either to Beveridge
+or Bunker, and yet which came very pleasantly,
+<q>I forgot to warn you of one thing when I advised you
+<pb n="178"/><anchor id="Pg178"/>
+to try the <hi rend="font-style: italic">r�le</hi> of
+certified lunatic&mdash;you are not likely to
+make so good a friend as I have.</q></p>
+
+<p>He shut the door noiselessly and was gone.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron stood in the middle of the floor for fully
+five minutes, looking blankly at the closed door; then
+with a sigh he turned out the light and tumbled into bed
+again.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div rend="page-break-before: always" id="LL0400" type="part">
+<pb n="179"/><anchor id="Pg179"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 125%">PART IV.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<div id="LL0401" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER I.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The Dover express was nearing town: evening had
+begun to draw in, and from the wayside houses
+people saw the train roar by like a huge glowworm;
+but they could hardly guess that it was
+hurrying two real actors to the climax of a real comedy.</p>
+
+<p>From the opposite sides of a first-class carriage these
+two looked cheerfully at one another. The Channel
+was safely behind them, London was close ahead, and
+the piston of the engine seemed to thump a triumphal air.</p>
+
+<p><q>We&rsquo;ve done it, Twiddel, my boy!</q> said the one.</p>
+
+<p><q>Thank Heaven!</q> replied the other.</p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">And</hi> myself,</q> added his friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>Yes,</q> said Twiddel; <q>you played your part uncommonly
+well, Welsh.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It was the deuce of a fine spree!</q> sighed Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>The deuce,</q> assented Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m only sorry it&rsquo;s all over,</q> Welsh went on, gazing
+regretfully up at the lamp of the carriage. <q>I&rsquo;d give the
+remains of my character and my chance of a public funeral
+to be starting again from Paris by the morning train!</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel laughed.</p>
+
+<p><q>With the same head you had that morning?</q></p>
+<pb n="180"/><anchor id="Pg180"/>
+
+<p><q>Yes, by George! Even with the same mile of dusty
+gullet!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s all over now,</q> said Twiddel, philosophically,
+and yet rather nervously&mdash;<q>at least the amusing part
+of it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>All the fun, my boy, all the fun. All the dinners
+and the drinks, and the touching of hats to the aristocratic
+travellers, and the girls that sighed, and the bowing and
+scraping. Do you remember the sporting baronet who
+knew my uncle? Now, I&rsquo;m plain Robert Welsh, whose
+uncles, as far as I am aware, don&rsquo;t know a baronet among
+&rsquo;em.</q></p>
+
+<p>He smiled a little sardonically.</p>
+
+<p><q>And the baron at Fogelschloss,</q> said Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who insisted on learning my pedigree back to Alfred
+the Great! Gad, I gave it him, though, and I doubt
+whether the real Essington could have done as much.
+I&rsquo;d rather surprise some of these noblemen if I turned up
+again in my true character!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thank the Lord, we&rsquo;re not likely to meet them again!</q>
+exclaimed the doctor, devoutly.</p>
+
+<p><q>No,</q> said Welsh; <q>here endeth the second lesson.</q></p>
+
+<p>His friend, who had been well brought up, looked a
+trifle uncomfortable at this quotation.</p>
+
+<p><q>I say,</q> he remarked a few minutes later, <q>we haven&rsquo;t
+finished yet. We&rsquo;ve got to get the man out again, and
+hand him back to his friends.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Cured,</q> said Welsh, with a laugh.</p>
+
+<p><q>I wonder how he is?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>We&rsquo;ll soon see.</q></p>
+<pb n="181"/><anchor id="Pg181"/>
+
+<p>They fell silent again, while the train hurried nearer
+and nearer London town. Welsh seemed to be musing
+on some nice point, it might be of conscience, it might
+also conceivably be of a more practical texture. At last
+he said, <q>There&rsquo;s just one thing, old man. What about
+the fee?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;ll get a cheque for it, I suppose,</q> his friend replied,
+with an almost excessive air of mastery over the problem.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha!</q> laughed Welsh; <q>you know what I mean.
+It&rsquo;s a delicate question and all that, but, hang it, it&rsquo;s got
+to be answered.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What has?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The division of the spoil.</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel looked dignified.</p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;ll see you get your share, old man,</q> he answered,
+easily.</p>
+
+<p><q>But what share?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You suggested �100, I think.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Out of �500&mdash;when I&rsquo;ve done all the deceiving and
+told all the lies! Come, old man!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, what do you want?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Do you remember a certain crisis when we&rsquo;d made
+a slip&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You&rsquo;d made a slip!</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">We</hi> had made a slip,
+and you wanted to chuck the
+game and bolt? Do you remember also the terms I
+proposed when I offered to beard the local god almighty
+in his lair and explain it all away, and how he became
+our bosom pal and we were saved?</q></p>
+<pb n="182"/><anchor id="Pg182"/>
+
+<p><q>Well?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>�300 to me,
+<corr sic="$"><anchor id="E5"/><ref target="e5">�</ref></corr>200
+to you,</q> said Welsh, decisively.</p>
+
+<p><q>Rot, old man. I&rsquo;ll share fairly, if you insist. �250
+apiece, will that do?</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh said nothing, but his face was no longer the
+countenance of the jovial adventurer.</p>
+
+<p><q>It will have to, I suppose,</q> he replied, at length.</p>
+
+<p>It was with this little cloud on the horizon that they
+saw the lights of London twinkle through the windows,
+and were carried into the clamour of the platforms.</p>
+
+<p>They both drove first to Twiddel&rsquo;s rooms; and as they
+looked out once more on the life and lights and traffic of
+the streets, their faces cleared again.</p>
+
+<p><q>We&rsquo;ll have a merry evening!</q> cried Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>A little supper,</q> suggested Twiddel; <q>a music-hall&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Et cetera,</q> added Welsh, with a laugh.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor had written of their coming, and they
+found a fire in the back room, and the table laid.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah,</q> cried Welsh, <q>this looks devilish comfortable.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>A letter for me,</q> said Twiddel; <q>from Billson, I
+think.</q></p>
+
+<p>He read it and threw it to his friend, remarking, <q>I call
+this rather cool of him.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh read&mdash;</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q rend="post: none"><hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">Dear
+  George</hi>,&mdash;I am just off for three weeks&rsquo; holiday.
+  Sorry for leaving your practice, but I think it can
+  look after itself till you return.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">You have only had two patients, and one
+  fee between them. The second man vanished mysteriously. I shall
+  <pb n="183"/><anchor id="Pg183"/>
+  tell you about it when I come back. He boned a bill, too,
+  I fancy, but the story will keep.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">I am looking forward to hearing the true
+  tale of your adventures. Good luck to you.&mdash;Yours ever,</q></p>
+  
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none">
+  <hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">Thomas Billson</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p><q>Boned a bill?</q> exclaimed Welsh. <q>What bill, I
+wonder?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Something that came when I was away, I suppose.
+Hang it, I think Billson might have looked after things
+better!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>It sounds queer,</q> said Welsh, reflectively; <q>I wonder
+what it was?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Confound Billson, he might have told me,</q> observed
+the doctor. <q>But, I say, you know we have something
+more practical to see to.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Getting the man out again?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, let&rsquo;s have a little grub first.</q></p>
+
+<p>Twiddel rang the bell, and the frowsy little maid entered,
+carrying a letter on a tray.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dinner,</q> said he.</p>
+
+<p><q>Please, sir,</q> began the maid, holding out the tray,
+<q>this come for you near a month agow, but Missis she bin
+and forgot to send it hafter you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Confound her!</q> said Twiddel, taking the letter.</p>
+
+<p>He looked at the envelope, and remarked with a little
+start of nervous excitement, <q>From Dr Congleton.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>News of Mr Beveridge,</q> laughed Welsh.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor read the first few lines, and then, as if he had
+got an electric shock, the letter fell from his hand, and an
+<pb n="184"/><anchor id="Pg184"/>
+expression of the most utter and lively consternation came
+over his face.</p>
+
+<p><q>Heavens!</q> he ejaculated, <q>it&rsquo;s all up.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What&rsquo;s up?</q> cried Welsh, snatching at the letter.</p>
+
+<p><q>He&rsquo;s run away!</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh looked at him for a moment in some astonishment,
+and then burst out laughing.</p>
+
+<p><q>What a joke!</q> he cried; <q>I don&rsquo;t see anything to make
+a fuss about. We&rsquo;re jolly well rid of him.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The fee! I won&rsquo;t get a penny till I bring him back.
+And the whole thing will be found out!</q></p>
+
+<p>As the full meaning of this predicament burst upon
+Welsh, his face underwent a change by no means pleasant
+to watch. For a full minute he swore, and then an ominous
+silence fell upon the room.</p>
+
+<p>Twiddel was the first to recover himself.</p>
+
+<p><q>Let me see the letter,</q> he said; <q>I haven&rsquo;t
+finished it.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh read it aloud&mdash;</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q rend="post: none"><hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">Dear
+  Twiddel</hi>,&mdash;I regret to inform you that the
+  patient, Francis Beveridge, whom you placed under my
+  care, has escaped from Clankwood. We have made every
+  inquiry consistent with strict privacy, but unfortunately
+  have not yet been able to lay our hands upon him. We
+  only know that he left Ashditch Junction in the London
+  express, and was seen walking out of St Euston&rsquo;s Cross.
+  How he has been able to maintain himself in concealment
+  without money or clothes, I am unable to imagine.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">As no inquiries have been made for him
+  by his cousin Mr Welsh, or any other of his friends or relatives,
+  I am writing to you that you may inform them, and I hope that
+  this letter may follow you abroad without delay. I may
+  <pb n="185"/><anchor id="Pg185"/>
+  add that the circumstances of his escape showed most unusual
+  cunning, and could not possibly have been guarded against.</q></p>
+  
+  <p><q rend="post: none">Trusting that you are having a pleasant
+  holiday, I am, yours very truly,</q></p>
+  
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none"><hi
+  rend="font-variant: small-caps">Adolphus S. Congleton</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p>The two looked at one another in silence for a minute,
+and then Welsh said, fiercely, <q>You must catch him again,
+Twiddel. Do you think I am going to have all my risk
+and trouble for nothing?</q></p>
+
+<p><q rend="post: none"><hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi>
+must catch him! Do you suppose <hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi>
+let him loose?<corr sic="&rsquo;"><anchor id="E6"/><ref
+target="e6">&rdquo;</ref></corr></q></p>
+
+<p><q>You must catch him, all the same.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shan&rsquo;t bother my head about him,</q> answered Twiddel,
+with the recklessness of despair.</p>
+
+<p><q>You won&rsquo;t? You want to have the story known, I
+suppose?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I don&rsquo;t care if it is.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh looked at him for a minute: then he jumped up
+and exclaimed, <q>You need a drink, old man. Let&rsquo;s hurry
+up that slavey.</q></p>
+
+<p>With the first course their countenances cleared a little,
+with the second they were almost composed, by the end of
+dinner they had started plot-hatching hopefully again.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s any odds on the man&rsquo;s still being in town,</q> said
+Welsh. <q>He had no money or clothes, and evidently he
+hasn&rsquo;t gone to any of his friends, or the whole story would
+have been out. Now, there is nowhere where a man can
+lie low so well, especially if he is hard up, as London. I
+can answer from experience. He is hardly likely to be in
+the West End, or the best class of suburbs, so we&rsquo;ve something
+to go upon at once. We must go to a private inquiry
+<pb n="186"/><anchor id="Pg186"/>
+office and put men on his track, and then we must
+take the town in beats ourselves. So much is clear; do
+you see?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And hadn&rsquo;t we better find out whether anything more
+is known at Clankwood?</q> suggested Twiddel. <q>Dr
+Congleton wrote a month ago; perhaps they have caught
+him by this time.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Hardly likely, I&rsquo;m afraid; he&rsquo;d have written to you if
+they had. Still, we can but ask.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But, I say!</q> the doctor suddenly exclaimed, <q>people
+may find out that I&rsquo;m back without him.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh was equal to the emergency.</p>
+
+<p><q>You must leave again at once,</q> he said decisively,
+rising from the table; <q>and there&rsquo;s no good wasting time,
+either.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What do you mean?</q> asked the bewildered doctor,
+who had not yet assimilated the criminal point of view.</p>
+
+<p><q>We&rsquo;ll put our luggage straight on to a cab, drive off to
+other rooms&mdash;I know a cheap place that will do&mdash;and if
+by any chance inquiries are made, people must be told
+that you are still abroad. Nobody must hear of your coming
+home to-night.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Is it&qdash;</q> began Twiddel, dubiously.</p>
+
+<p><q>Is it what?</q> snapped his friend.</p>
+
+<p><q>Is it worth it?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Is �500, not to speak of two reputations, worth it!
+Come on!</q></p>
+
+<p>The unfortunate doctor sighed, and rose too. He was
+beginning to think that the nefarious acquisition of fees
+might have drawbacks after all.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0402" type="chapter">
+<pb n="187"/><anchor id="Pg187"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER II.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>The chronicle must now go back a few days and follow
+another up-express.</p>
+
+<p><q>I must either be a clergyman or a policeman,</q> Mr
+Bunker reflected, in the corner of his carriage; <q>they seem
+to me to be on the whole the two least molested professions.
+Each certainly has a livery which, if its occupier is
+ordinarily judicious, ought to serve as a certificate of
+sanity. To me all policemen are precisely alike, but I
+daresay they know them apart in the force, and as all the
+beats and crossings are presumably taken already, I
+might excite suspicion by my mere superfluity. Besides,
+a theatrical costumier&rsquo;s uniform would possibly lack some
+ridiculous but essential detail.</q></p>
+
+<p>He lit another cigar and looked humorously out of the
+window.</p>
+
+<p><q>I shall take orders. An amateur theatrical clergyman&rsquo;s
+costume will be more comfortable, and probably
+less erroneous. They allow them some latitude, I believe;
+and I don&rsquo;t suppose there are any visible ordination
+scars whose absence would give me away. I shall certainly
+study the first reverend brother I meet to see.</q></p>
+
+<p>Thus wisely ruminating, he arrived in London at a very
+early hour on a chilly morning, and drove straight to a
+small hotel near King&rsquo;s Cross, where the landlord was
+much gratified at receiving so respectable a guest as the
+<pb n="188"/><anchor id="Pg188"/>
+Rev. Alexander Butler. (<q>I must begin with a B.</q> said
+Mr Bunker to himself; <q>I think it&rsquo;s lucky.</q>)</p>
+
+<p>It is true the reverend gentleman was in evening clothes,
+while his hat and coat had a singularly secular, not to say
+fashionable, appearance; but, as he mentioned casually
+in the course of some extremely affable remarks, he had
+been dining in a country house, and had not thought it
+worth while changing before he left. After breakfasting
+he dressed himself in an equally secular suit of tweeds
+and went out, he mentioned incidentally, to call at his
+tailor&rsquo;s for his professional habit, which he seemed surprised
+to learn had not yet been forwarded to the hotel.</p>
+
+<p>A visit to a certain well-known firm of theatrical costumiers
+was followed by his reappearance in a cab accompanied
+by a bulky brown paper parcel; and presently he
+emerged from his room attired more consistently with his
+office, much to his own satisfaction, for, as he observed,
+<q>I cannot say I approve of clergymen masquerading as
+laymen.</q></p>
+
+<p>His opinion on the converse circumstance was not expressed.</p>
+
+<p>Much to his landlord&rsquo;s disappointment, he informed
+him that he should probably leave again that afternoon,
+and then he went out for a walk.</p>
+
+<p>About half an hour later he was once more in the street
+where, not so very long ago, a very exciting cab-race had
+finished. He strolled slowly past Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s house.
+The blinds of the front room were down; at that hour
+there was no sign of life about it, and he saw nothing at
+all to arrest his attention. Then he looked down the
+<pb n="189"/><anchor id="Pg189"/>
+other side of the street, and to his great satisfaction spied
+a card, with the legend <q>Apartments to let,</q> in one of the
+first-floor windows of a house immediately opposite.</p>
+
+<p>He rang the bell, and in a moment a rotund and loquacious
+landlady appeared. Yes, the drawing-room was to
+let; would the reverend gentleman come up and see it?
+Mr Bunker went up, and approved. They readily
+agreed upon terms, and the landlady, charmed with her
+new lodger&rsquo;s appearance and manners, no less than with
+the respectability of his profession, proceeded to descant
+at some length on the quiet, comfort, and numerous other
+advantages of the apartments.</p>
+
+<p><q>Just the very plice you wants, sir. We &rsquo;ave &rsquo;ad
+clerical gentlemen &rsquo;ere before, sir; in fact, there&rsquo;s
+one a-staying &rsquo;ere now, second floor,&mdash;you may know of
+&rsquo;im, sir,&mdash;the Reverend Mr John Duggs; a very pleasant
+gentleman you&rsquo;ll find him, sir. I&rsquo;ll tell &rsquo;im
+you&rsquo;re &rsquo;ere, sir; &rsquo;e&rsquo;d be
+sure to like to meet another gentleman of the syme cloth,
+has they say.</q></p>
+
+<p>Somehow or other the Rev. Mr Butler failed to display
+the hearty pleasure at this announcement that the worthy
+Mrs Gabbon had naturally expected.</p>
+
+<p>Aloud he merely said, <q>Indeed,</q> politely, but with no
+unusual interest.</p>
+
+<p>Within himself he reflected, <q>The deuce take Mr John
+Duggs! However, I want the rooms, and a man must risk
+something.</q></p>
+
+<p>As a precautionary measure he visited a second-hand
+bookseller on his way back, and purchased a small assortment
+of the severest-looking works on theology they kept
+<pb n="190"/><anchor id="Pg190"/>
+in stock; and these, with his slender luggage, he brought
+round to Mrs Gabbon&rsquo;s in the course of the afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>He looked carefully out of his sitting-room window,
+but the doctor&rsquo;s blinds were still down, and he saw no one
+coming or going about the house; so he began his inquiries
+by calling up his landlady.</p>
+
+<p><q>I have been troubled with lumbago, Mrs Gabbon,</q> he
+began.</p>
+
+<p><q>Dearie me, sir,</q> said Mrs Gabbon, <q>I&rsquo;m sorry to &rsquo;ear
+that; you that looks so &rsquo;ealthy too! Well, one never
+knows what&rsquo;s be&rsquo;ind a &rsquo;appy hexterior, does one, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, Mrs Gabbon,</q> replied Mr Bunker, solemnly;
+<q>one never knows what even a clergyman&rsquo;s coat conceals.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>That&rsquo;s very true, sir. In the midst of life we are
+in&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Lumbago,</q> interposed Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs Gabbon looked a trifle startled.</p>
+
+<p><q>Well,</q> he continued with the same gravity, <q>I may
+unfortunately have occasion to consult a doctor&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>There&rsquo;s Dr Smith,</q> interrupted Mrs Gabbon, her
+equanimity quite restored by his ecclesiastical tone and
+the mention of ailments; <q>&rsquo;e attended my poor dear
+&rsquo;usband hall through his last illness; an huncommon clever
+doctor, sir, as I ought to know, sir, bein&rsquo;&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No doubt an excellent man, Mrs Gabbon; but I should
+like to know of one as near at hand as possible. Now I
+see the name of a Dr Twiddel&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I wouldn&rsquo;t recommend &rsquo;im, sir,</q> said Mrs Gabbon,
+pursing her mouth.</p>
+<pb n="191"/><anchor id="Pg191"/>
+
+<p><q rend="pre: none"><add><anchor id="E7"/><ref
+target="e7">&ldquo;</ref></add>Indeed? Why not?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>&rsquo;E attended Mrs Brown&rsquo;s servant-girl,
+sir,&mdash;she bein&rsquo;
+the lady as has the &rsquo;ouse next door,&mdash;and what he
+give <hi rend="font-style: italic">&rsquo;er</hi>
+didn&rsquo;t do no good. Mrs Brown tell me &rsquo;erself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Still, in an emergency&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Besides which, he ain&rsquo;t at &rsquo;ome, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Where has he gone?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Abroad, they do say, sir; though I don&rsquo;t rightly know
+much about &rsquo;im.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Has he been away long?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mrs Gabbon considered.</p>
+
+<p><q>It must &rsquo;ave bin before the middle of November he
+went, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha!</q> exclaimed Mr Bunker, keenly, though apparently
+more to himself than his landlady.</p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The middle of November, you say? That&rsquo;s a long
+holiday for a doctor to take.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>&rsquo;E &rsquo;avn&rsquo;t no practice to speak
+of,&mdash;not as I knows of, leastways.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What sort of a man is he&mdash;young or old?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>By my opinion, sir, &rsquo;e&rsquo;s too young. I
+don&rsquo;t &rsquo;old by
+them young doctors. Now Dr Smith, sir&qdash;</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Dr Twiddel is quite a young man, then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What I&rsquo;d call little better than a boy, sir. They tell
+me they lets &rsquo;em loose very young nowadays.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>About twenty-five, say?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>&rsquo;E might be that, sir; but I don&rsquo;t know much about
+&rsquo;im, sir. Now Dr Smith, sir, &rsquo;e&rsquo;s different.</q></p>
+
+<p>In fact at this point Mrs Gabbon showed such a tendency
+<pb n="192"/><anchor id="Pg192"/>
+to turn the conversation back to the merits of Dr
+Smith and the precise nature of Mr Bunker&rsquo;s ailment,
+that her lodger, in despair, requested her to bring up a cup
+of tea as speedily as possible.</p>
+
+<p><q>Before the middle of November,</q> he said to himself.
+<q>It is certainly a curious coincidence.</q></p>
+
+<p>To a gentleman of Mr Bunker&rsquo;s sociable habits and
+active mind, the prospect of sitting day by day in the company
+of his theological treatises and talkative landlady,
+and watching an apparently uninhabited house, seemed
+at first sight even less entertaining than a return to
+Clankwood. But, as he said of himself, he possessed
+a kind of easy workaday philosophy, and, besides that, an
+apparently irresistible attraction for the incidents of
+life.</p>
+
+<p>He had barely finished his cup of tea, and was sitting
+over the fire smoking one of the Baron&rsquo;s cigars and looking
+through one of the few books he had brought that bore no
+relation to divinity, his feet high upon the side of the
+mantelpiece, his ready-made costume perhaps a little
+more unbuttoned than the strictest propriety might approve,
+and a stiff glass of whisky-and-water at his elbow,
+when there came a rap at his door.</p>
+
+<p>In response to his <q>Come in,</q> a middle-aged gentleman,
+dressed in clerical attire, entered. He had a broad,
+bearded face, a dull eye, and an indescribably average
+aspect.</p>
+
+<p><q>The devil! Mr John Duggs himself,</q> thought Mr
+Bunker, hastily adopting a more conventional attitude
+and feeling for his button-holes.</p>
+<pb n="193"/><anchor id="Pg193"/>
+
+<p><q>Ah&mdash;er&mdash;Mr Butler, I believe?</q> said the stranger,
+with an apologetic air.</p>
+
+<p><q>The same,</q> replied Mr Bunker, smiling affably.</p>
+
+<p><q>I,</q> continued his visitor, advancing with more confidence,
+<q>am Mr Duggs. I am dwelling at present in the
+apartment immediately above you, and hearing of the
+arrival of a fellow-clergyman, through my worthy friend
+Mrs Gabbon, I have taken the liberty of calling. She
+gave me to understand that you were not undesirous of
+making my acquaintance, Mr Butler.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The deuce, she did!</q> thought Mr Butler. Aloud he
+answered most politely, <q>I am honoured, Mr Duggs.
+Won&rsquo;t you sit down?</q></p>
+
+<p>First casting a wary eye upon a chair, Mr Duggs seated
+himself carefully on the edge of it.</p>
+
+<p><q>It is quite evident,</q> thought Mr Bunker, <q>that he has
+spotted something wrong. I believe a bobby would have
+been safer after all.</q></p>
+
+<p>He assumed the longest face he could draw, and remarked
+sententiously, <q>The weather has been unpleasantly
+cold of late, Mr Duggs.</q></p>
+
+<p>He flattered himself that his guest seemed instantly
+more at his ease. Certainly he replied with as much
+cordiality as a man with such a dull eye could be supposed
+to display.</p>
+
+<p><q>It has, Mr Butler; in fact I have suffered from a chill
+for some weeks. Ahem!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Have something to drink,</q> suggested Mr Bunker,
+sympathetically. <q>I&rsquo;m trying a little whisky myself, as a
+cure for cold.</q></p>
+<pb n="194"/><anchor id="Pg194"/>
+
+<p><q>I&mdash;ah&mdash;I am sorry. I do not touch spirits.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I, on the contrary, am glad to hear it. Too few of our
+clergymen nowadays support the cause of temperance by
+example.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker felt a little natural pride in this happily
+expressed sentiment, but his visitor merely turned his cold
+eye on the whisky bottle, and breathed heavily.</p>
+
+<p><q>Confound him!</q> he thought; <q>I&rsquo;ll give him something
+to snort at if he is going to conduct himself like this.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Have a cigar?</q> he asked aloud.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Duggs seemed to regard the cigar-box a little less
+unkindly than the whisky bottle; but after a careful look
+at it he replied, <q>I am afraid they seem a little too strong
+for me. I am a light smoker, Mr Butler.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Really,</q> smiled Mr Bunker; <q>so many virtues in one
+room reminds me of the virgins of Gomorrah.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon? The what?</q> asked Mr Duggs,
+with a startled stare.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker suspected that he had made a slip in his
+biblical reminiscences, but he continued to smile imperturbably,
+and inquired with a perfect air of surprise,
+<q>Haven&rsquo;t you read the novel I referred to?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Duggs appeared a little relieved, but he answered
+blankly enough, <q>I&mdash;ah&mdash;have not. What is the book
+you refer to?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, don&rsquo;t you know? To tell the truth, I forget the
+title. It&rsquo;s by a somewhat well-known lady writer of
+religious fiction. A Miss&mdash;her name escapes me at this
+moment.</q></p>
+
+<p>In fact, as Mr Bunker had no idea how long his friend
+<pb n="195"/><anchor id="Pg195"/>
+might be dwelling in the apartment immediately above
+him, he thought it more prudent to make no statement
+that could possibly be checked.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am no great admirer of religious fiction of any kind,</q>
+replied Mr Duggs, <q>particularly that written by emotional
+females.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No,</q> said Mr Bunker, pleasantly; <q>I should imagine
+your own doctrines were not apt to err on the sentimental
+side.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am not aware that I have said anything to you about
+my&mdash;doctrines, as you call them, Mr Butler.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Still, don&rsquo;t you think one can generally tell a man&rsquo;s
+creed from his coat, and his sympathies from the way he
+cocks his hat?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I think,</q> replied Mr Duggs, <q>that our ideas of our
+vocation are somewhat different.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mine is, I admit,</q> said Mr Bunker, who had come to
+the conclusion that the strain of playing his part was really
+too great, and was now being happily carried along by his
+tongue.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Duggs for a moment was evidently disposed to give
+battle, but thinking better of it, he contented himself with
+frowning at his younger opponent, and abruptly changed
+the subject.</p>
+
+<p><q>May I ask what position you hold in the church, Mr
+Butler?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Why,</q> began Mr Bunker, lightly: it was on the tip of
+his tongue to say <q>a clergyman, of course,</q> when he suddenly
+recollected that he might be anything from the rank
+of curate up to the people who wear gaiters (and who these
+<pb n="196"/><anchor id="Pg196"/>
+were precisely he didn&rsquo;t know). An ingenious solution
+suggested itself. He replied with a preliminary inquiry,
+<q>Have you ever been in the East, Mr Duggs?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I regret to say I have not hitherto had the opportunity.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thank the Lord for that,</q> thought Mr Bunker. <q>I
+have been a missionary,</q> he said quietly, and looked
+dreamily into the fire.</p>
+
+<p>It was a happy move. Mr Duggs was visibly impressed.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah?</q> he said. <q>Indeed? I am much interested to
+learn this, Mr Butler. It&mdash;ah&mdash;gives me perhaps a somewhat
+different view of your&mdash;ah&mdash;opinions. Where did
+your work lie?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>China,</q> replied Mr Bunker, thinking it best to keep as
+far abroad as possible.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha!</q> exclaimed Mr Duggs. <q>This is really extremely
+fortunate. I am at present, Mr Butler, studying the
+religions and customs of China at the British Museum,
+with a view to going out there myself very shortly. I
+already feel I know almost as much about that most interesting
+country as if I had lived there. I should like to
+talk with you at some length on the subject.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker saw that it was time to put an end to this
+conversation, at whatever minor risk of perturbing his
+visitor. He had been a little alarmed, too, by noticing
+that Mr Duggs&rsquo; dull eye had wandered frequently to his
+theological library, which with his usual foresight he had
+strewn conspicuously on the table, and that any expression
+it had was rather of suspicious curiosity than gratification.</p>
+<pb n="197"/><anchor id="Pg197"/>
+
+<p><q>I should like to hear some of your experiences,</q> Mr
+Duggs continued. <q>In what province did you work?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In Hung Hang Ho,</q> replied Mr Bunker. His visitor
+looked puzzled, but he continued boldly, <q>My experiences
+were somewhat unpleasant. I became engaged to a
+mandarin&rsquo;s daughter&mdash;a charming girl. I was suspected,
+however, of abetting an illicit traffic in Chinese lanterns.
+My companions were manicured alive, and I only made
+my escape in a pagoda, or a junk&mdash;I was in too much of a
+hurry to notice which&mdash;at the imminent peril of my life.
+Don&rsquo;t go to China, Mr Duggs.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Duggs rose.</p>
+
+<p><q>Young man,</q> he said, sternly, <q>put away that fatal
+bottle. I can only suppose that it is under the influence of
+drink that you have ventured to tell me such an irreverent
+and impossible story.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Sir,</q> began Mr Bunker, warmly,&mdash;for he thought that
+an outburst of indignation would probably be the safest
+way of concluding the interview,&mdash;when he stopped abruptly
+and listened. All the time his ears had been alive
+to anything going on outside, and now he heard a cab
+rattle up and stop close by. It might be at Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s,
+he thought, and, turning from his visitor, he sprang to the
+window.</p>
+
+<p>Remarking distantly, <q>I hear a cab; it is possibly a
+friend I am expecting,</q> Mr Duggs stepped to the other
+window.</p>
+
+<p>It was only, however, a hansom at the door of the next
+house, out of which a very golden-haired young lady was
+stepping.
+<pb n="198"/><anchor id="Pg198"/>
+<q>Aha,</q> said Mr Bunker, quite forgetting the indignant
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">r�le</hi> he had begun to play;
+<q>rather nice! Is this your friend, Mr Duggs?</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Duggs gave him one look of his dull eyes, and
+walked straight for the door. As he went out he merely
+remarked, <q>Our acquaintance has been brief, Mr Butler,
+but it has been quite sufficient.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Quite,</q> thought Mr Bunker.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0403" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER III.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>That was Mr Bunker&rsquo;s first and last meeting with the
+Rev. John Duggs, and he took no small credit to himself
+for having so effectually incensed his neighbour, without,
+at the same time, bringing suspicion on anything more
+pertinent than his sobriety.</p>
+
+<p>And yet sometimes in the course of the next three days
+he would have been thankful to see him again, if only to
+have another passage-of-arms. The time passed most
+wearily; the consulting-room blinds were never raised; no
+cabs stopped before the doctor&rsquo;s door; nobody except the
+little servant ever moved about the house.</p>
+
+<p>He could think of no plan better than waiting; and so he
+waited, showing himself seldom in the streets, and even
+sitting behind the curtain while he watched at the window.
+After writing at some length to the Baron he had no
+further correspondence that he could distract himself
+with; he was even forced once or twice to dip into the
+<pb n="199"/><anchor id="Pg199"/>
+theological works. Mrs Gabbon had evidently <q>&rsquo;eard
+sommat</q> from Mr Duggs, and treated him to little of her
+society. The boredom became so excessive that he decided
+he must make a move soon, however rash it was.</p>
+
+<p>The only active step he took, and indeed the only step
+he saw his way to take, was a call on Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">locum</hi>.
+But luck seemed to run dead against him. Dr Billson
+had departed <q>on his holiday,</q> he was informed, and
+would not return for three weeks. So Mr Bunker was
+driven back to his window and the Baron&rsquo;s cigars.</p>
+
+<p>It was the evening of his fourth day in Mrs Gabbon&rsquo;s
+rooms. He had finished a modest dinner and was dealing
+himself hands at piquet with an old pack of cards, when
+he heard the rattle of a cab coming up the street. The
+usual faint flicker of hope rose: the cab stopped below
+him, the flicker burned brighter, and in an instant he was
+at the window. He opened the slats of the blind, and the
+flicker was aflame. Before the doctor&rsquo;s house a four-wheeled
+cab was standing laden with luggage, and two
+men were going up the steps. He watched the luggage
+being taken in and the cab drive away, and then he turned
+radiantly back to the fire.</p>
+
+<p><q>The curtain is up,</q> he said to himself. <q>What&rsquo;s the
+first act to be?</q></p>
+
+<p>Presently he put on his
+<corr sic="wideawake"><anchor id="E8"/><ref
+target="e8">wide-awake</ref></corr>
+hat and went out for
+a stroll. He walked slowly past the doctor&rsquo;s house, but
+there was nothing to be seen or heard. Remembering the
+room at the back, he was not surprised to find no chink of
+light about the front windows, and thinking it better not
+to run the risk of being seen lingering there, he walked on.
+<pb n="200"/><anchor id="Pg200"/>
+He was in such good spirits, and had been cooped up so
+continually for the last few days, that he went on and on,
+and it was not till about a couple of hours had passed that
+he approached his rooms again. As he came down the
+street he was surprised to see by the light of a lamp that
+another four-wheeler was standing before the doctor&rsquo;s
+house, also laden with luggage.</p>
+
+<p>Two men jumped in, one after another, and when he
+had come at his fastest walk within twenty yards or so,
+the cabman whipped up and drove rapidly away, luggage
+and men and all.</p>
+
+<p>He looked up and down for a hansom, but there were
+none to be seen. For a few yards he set off at a run in
+pursuit, and then, finding that the horse was being driven
+at a great rate, and remembering the paucity of stray cabs
+in the quiet streets and roads round about, he stopped and
+considered the question.</p>
+
+<p><q>After all,</q> he reflected, <q>it may not have been Dr
+Twiddel who drove away; in fact, if it was he who arrived
+in the first cab, it&rsquo;s any odds against it. Pooh! It can&rsquo;t
+be. Still, it&rsquo;s a curious thing if two cabs loaded with
+luggage came to the house in the same evening, and one
+drove away without unlading.</q></p>
+
+<p>With his spirits a little damped in spite of his philosophy,
+he went back to his rooms.</p>
+
+<p>In the morning the consulting-room blinds were still
+down, and the house looked as deserted as ever.</p>
+
+<p>He waited till lunch, and then he went out boldly and
+pulled the doctor&rsquo;s bell. The same little maid appeared,
+but she evidently did not recognise the fashionable patient
+<pb n="201"/><anchor id="Pg201"/>
+who disappeared so mysteriously in the demure-looking
+clergyman at the door.</p>
+
+<p><q>Is Dr Twiddel at home?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir, he ain&rsquo;t back yet.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>He hasn&rsquo;t been back?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker looked at her keenly, and then said to himself,
+<q>She is lying.</q></p>
+
+<p>He thought he would try a chance shot.</p>
+
+<p><q>But he was expected home last night, I believe.</q></p>
+
+<p>The maid looked a little staggered.</p>
+
+<p><q>He ain&rsquo;t been,</q> she replied.</p>
+
+<p><q>I happen to have heard that he called here,</q> he hazarded
+again.</p>
+
+<p>This time she was evidently put about.</p>
+
+<p><q>He ain&rsquo;t been here&mdash;as I knows of.</q></p>
+
+<p>He slipped half-a-crown into her hand.</p>
+
+<p><q>Think again,</q> he said, in his most winning accents.</p>
+
+<p>The poor little maid was obviously in a dilemma.</p>
+
+<p><q>Do you want him particular, sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Particularly.</q></p>
+
+<p>She fidgeted a little.</p>
+
+<p><q>He told me,</q> he pursued, <q>that he might look in at
+his rooms last night. He left no message for me?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What
+<corr sic="nime"><anchor id="E9"/><ref target="e9">name</ref></corr>,
+sir?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mr Butler.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Then, my dear,</q> said Mr Bunker, with his most insinuating
+smile, <q>he was here for a little, you can&rsquo;t
+deny?</q></p>
+<pb n="202"/><anchor id="Pg202"/>
+
+<p>At the maid&rsquo;s embarrassed glance down his long coat,
+he suddenly realised that there was perhaps a distinction
+between lay and clerical smiles.</p>
+
+<p><q>He might have just looked in, sir,</q> she admitted.</p>
+
+<p><q>But he didn&rsquo;t want it known?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Quite right, I advised him not to, and you did very well
+not to tell me at first.</q></p>
+
+<p>He smiled approvingly and made a pretence of turning
+away.</p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, by the way,</q> he added, stopping as if struck by an
+after-thought, <q>Is he still in town? He promised to leave
+word for me, but he has evidently forgotten.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I don&rsquo;t know, sir; &rsquo;e didn&rsquo;t say.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>What? He left <hi rend="font-style: italic">no</hi> word at all?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker held out another half-crown.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s truth, sir,</q> said the maid, drawing back; <q>we
+don&rsquo;t know where &rsquo;e is.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Take it, all the same; you have been very discreet.
+You have no idea?</q></p>
+
+<p>The maid hesitated.</p>
+
+<p><q>I <hi rend="font-style: italic">did</hi> &rsquo;ear Mr
+Welsh say something about lookin&rsquo; for
+rooms,</q> she allowed.</p>
+
+<p><q>In London?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I expect so, sir; but &rsquo;e didn&rsquo;t say no more.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Mr Welsh is the friend who came with him, of course?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Thanks,</q> said Mr Bunker. <q>By the way, Dr Twiddel
+might not like your telling this even to a friend, so you
+<pb n="203"/><anchor id="Pg203"/>
+needn&rsquo;t say I called, I&rsquo;ll tell him myself when I see him,
+and I won&rsquo;t give you away.</q></p>
+
+<p>He smiled benignly, and the little maid thanked him
+quite gratefully.</p>
+
+<p><q>Evidently,</q> he thought as he went away, <q>I was
+meant for something in the detective line.</q></p>
+
+<p>He returned to his rooms to meditate, and the longer
+he thought the more puzzled he became, and yet the
+more convinced that he had taken up a thread that must
+lead him somewhere.</p>
+
+<p><q>As for my plan of action,</q> he considered, <q>I see nothing
+better for it than staying where I am&mdash;and watching.
+This mysterious doctor must surely steal back some night.
+Now and then I might go round the town and try a cast in
+the likeliest bars&mdash;oh, hang me, though! I forgot I was a
+clergyman.</q></p>
+
+<p>That night he had a welcome distraction in the shape of
+a letter from the Baron. It was written from Brierley
+Park, in the Baron&rsquo;s best pointed German hand, and it ran
+thus&mdash;</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q rend="post: none"><hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">My
+  dear Bunker</hi>,&mdash;I was greatly more delighted
+  than I am able to express to you from the amusing correspondence
+  you addressed me. How glad I am, I can
+  assure you, that you are still in safety and comfort. Remember,
+  my dear friend, to call for me when need arises,
+  although I do think you can guard yourself as well as
+  most alone.</q></p>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">This leaves me happy and healthful, and
+  in utmost prosperity with the kind Sir Richard and his charming
+  Lady. You English certainly know well how to cause
+  time to pass with mirth. About instruction I say less!</q></p>
+  <pb n="204"/><anchor id="Pg204"/>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">They have talked of you here. I laugh
+  and keep my tongue when they wonder who he is and whither gone
+  away. Now that anger is passed and they see I myself
+  enjoy the joke, they say, and especially do the ladies,
+  (You humbug, Bunker!) <q>How charming was the imitation,
+  Baron!</q> You can indeed win the hearts, if wishful
+  so. The Lady Grillyer and her unexpressable daughter
+  I have often seen. To-day they come here for two nights.
+  I did suggest it to Lady Brierley, and I fear she did suspect
+  the condition of my heart; but she charmingly smiled,
+  she asked them, and they come!</q></p>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">The Countess, I fear, does not now love
+  you much, my friend; but then she knows not the truth. The Lady
+  Alicia is strangely silent on the matter of Mr Bunker, but
+  in time she also doubtless will forgive.</q> <hi
+  rend="font-size: 100%">(At this Mr
+  Bunker smiled in some amusement.)</hi></p>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">When they leave Brierley I also shall
+  take my departure on the following day, that is in three days.
+  Therefore write hastily, Bunker, and name the place and hour
+  where we shall meet again and dine festively. I expect a
+  most reverent clergyman and much instructive discourse.
+  Ah, humbug!&mdash;Thine always,</q></p>
+
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none"><hi
+  rend="font-variant: small-caps">Rudolph von Blitzenberg</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q rend="post: none"><hi
+  rend="font-style: italic">P.S.</hi>&mdash;She
+  is sometimes more kind and sometimes so
+  distant. Ah, I know not what to surmise! But to-morrow
+  or the next my fate will be decided. Give me of
+  your prayers, my reverent friend!</q></p>
+
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="pre: none"><hi
+  rend="font-variant: small-caps">R. von B</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p><q>Dear old Baron!</q> said Mr Bunker. <q>Well, I&rsquo;ve at
+least a dinner to look forward to.</q></p>
+<pb n="205"/><anchor id="Pg205"/>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0404" type="chapter">
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER IV.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>Dr Twiddel, meanwhile, was no less anxious to make
+the Rev. Alexander Butler&rsquo;s acquaintance than the Rev.
+Alexander Butler was to make his. Not that he was
+aware of that gentleman&rsquo;s recent change of identity and
+occupation; but most industrious endeavors to find a certain
+Mr Beveridge were made in the course of the next few
+days. He and Welsh were living modestly and obscurely
+in the neighbourhood of the Pentonville Road, scouring
+the town by day, studying a map and laying the most
+ingenious plans at night. Welsh&rsquo;s first effort, as soon as
+they were established in their new quarters, was to induce
+his friend to go down to Clankwood and make further
+inquiries, but this Twiddel absolutely declined to do.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear chap,</q> he answered, <q>supposing anything
+were found out, or even suspected, what am I to say?
+Old Congleton knows me well, and for his own sake doesn&rsquo;t
+want to make a fuss; but if he really spots that something
+is wrong, he will be so afraid of his reputation that he&rsquo;d
+give me away like a shot.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>How are you going to give things away by going down
+and seeing him?</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">If</hi> they have guessed
+anything, I&rsquo;ll give it away. I
+haven&rsquo;t your cheek, you know, and tact, and that sort of
+thing; you&rsquo;d much better go yourself.</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">I?</hi> It isn&rsquo;t my business.</q></p>
+<pb n="206"/><anchor id="Pg206"/>
+
+<p><q>You seem to be making it yours. Besides, Dr Congleton
+thinks it is. You passed yourself off as the chap&rsquo;s
+cousin, and it is quite natural for you to go and inquire.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh pondered the point. <q>Hang it,</q> he said at last,
+<q>it would do just as well to write. Perhaps it&rsquo;s safer
+after all.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Well, you write.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Why should I, rather than you?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Because you&rsquo;re his cousin.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh considered again. <q>Well, I don&rsquo;t suppose it
+matters much. I&rsquo;ll write, if you&rsquo;re afraid.</q></p>
+
+<p>It was these amiable little touches in his friend&rsquo;s conversation
+that helped to make Twiddel&rsquo;s lot at this time
+so pleasant. In fact, the doctor was learning a good deal
+about human nature in cloudy weather.</p>
+
+<p>With great care Welsh composed a polite note of anxious
+inquiry, and by return of post received the following
+reply:&mdash;</p>
+
+<q rend="pre: none; post:none; display: block">
+  <p><q rend="post: none"><hi rend="font-variant: small-caps">My
+  dear Sir</hi>,&mdash;I regret to inform you that we have
+  not so far recovered your cousin Mr Beveridge. In all
+  probability, however, this cannot be long delayed now, as
+  he was seen within the last week at a country house in
+  Dampshire, and is known to have fled to London immediately
+  on his recognition, but before he could be
+  secured. He was then clean shaved, and had been passing
+  under the name of Francis Bunker. We are making
+  strict inquiries for him in London.</q></p>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">Nobody can regret the unfortunate
+  circumstance of his escape more than I, and, in justice to
+  myself and my institution, I can assure you that it was only
+  through the most unforeseen and remarkable ingenuity on your
+  cousin&rsquo;s part that it occurred.</q></p>
+  <pb n="207"/><anchor id="Pg207"/>
+
+  <p><q rend="post: none">Trusting that I may soon be able to
+  inform you of his recovery, I am, yours very truly,</q></p>
+
+  <p rend="text-align: right"><q rend="post: none"><hi
+  rend="font-variant: small-caps">Adolphus S. Congleton</hi>.</q></p>
+</q>
+
+<p>Their ardour was, if possible, increased by Dr Congleton&rsquo;s
+letter. Mr Beveridge was almost certainly in London,
+and they knew now that they must look for a clean-shaved
+man. Two private inquiry detectives were at
+work; and on their own account they had mapped the
+likeliest parts of London into beats, visiting every bar and
+restaurant in turn, and occasionally hanging about stations
+and the stopping-places for &rsquo;buses.</p>
+
+<p>It was dreadfully hard work, and after four days of it,
+even Welsh began to get a little sickened.</p>
+
+<p><q>Hang it,</q> he said in the evening, <q>I haven&rsquo;t had a
+decent dinner since we came back. Mr Bunker can go to
+the devil for to-night, I&rsquo;m going to dine decently. I&rsquo;m
+sick of going round pubs, and not even stopping to have a
+drink.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>So am I,</q> replied Twiddel, cordially; <q>where shall
+we go?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>The Caf� Maccarroni,</q> suggested Welsh; <q>we can&rsquo;t
+afford a West-end place, and they give one a very decent
+dinner there.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Caf� Maccarroni in Holborn is nominally of
+foreign extraction,&mdash;certainly the waiters and the stout
+proprietor come from sunnier lands,&mdash;and many of the
+diners you can hear talking in strange tongues, with quick
+gesticulations. But for the most part they are respectable
+citizens of London, who drink Chianti because it stimulates
+cheaply and not unpleasantly. The white-painted
+<pb n="208"/><anchor id="Pg208"/>
+room is bright and clean and seldom very crowded, the
+British palate can be tickled with tolerable joints and
+cutlets, and the foreign with gravy-covered odds and ends.
+Altogether, it may be recommended to such as desire to
+dine comfortably and not too conspicuously.</p>
+
+<p>The hour at which the two friends entered was later
+than most of the <hi rend="font-style: italic">habitu�s</hi>
+dine, and they had the room
+almost to themselves. They faced each other across a
+small table beside the wall, and very soon the discomforts
+of their researches began to seem more tolerable.</p>
+
+<p><q>We&rsquo;ll catch him soon, old man,</q> said Welsh, smiling
+more affably than he had smiled since they came back.
+<q>A day or two more of this kind of work and even London
+won&rsquo;t be able to conceal him any longer.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Dash it, we must,</q> replied Twiddel, bravely. <q>We&rsquo;ll
+show old Congleton how to look for a lunatic.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha!</q> laughed Welsh, <q>I think he&rsquo;ll be rather relieved
+himself. Waiter! another bottle of the same.</q></p>
+
+<p>The bottle arrived, and the waiter was just filling their
+glasses when a young clergyman entered the room and
+walked quietly towards the farther end. Welsh raised
+his glass and exclaimed, <q>Here&rsquo;s luck to ourselves, Twiddel,
+old man!</q></p>
+
+<p>At that moment the clergyman was passing their table,
+and at the mention of this toast he started almost imperceptibly,
+and then, throwing a quick glance at the two,
+stopped and took a seat at the next table, with his back
+turned towards them. Welsh, who was at the farther
+side, looked at him with some annoyance, and made a
+sign to Twiddel to talk a little more quietly.</p>
+<pb n="209"/><anchor id="Pg209"/>
+
+<p>To the waiter, who came with the
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">menu</hi>, the clergyman
+explained in a quiet voice that he was waiting for a friend,
+and asked for an evening paper instead, in which he soon
+appeared to be deeply engrossed.</p>
+
+<p>At first the conversation went on in a lower tone, but in
+a few minutes they insensibly forgot their neighbour, and
+the voices rose again by starts.</p>
+
+<p><q>My dear fellow,</q> Welsh was saying, <q>we can discuss
+that afterwards; we haven&rsquo;t caught him yet.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I want to settle it now.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But I thought it was settled.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, it wasn&rsquo;t,</q> said Twiddel, with a foreign and
+vinous doggedness.</p>
+
+<p><q>What do you suggest then?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Divide it equally&mdash;�250 each.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You think you can claim half the credit for the idea
+and half the trouble?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I can claim <hi rend="font-style: italic">all</hi> the
+risk&mdash;practically.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Pooh!</q> said Welsh. <q>You think I risked nothing?
+Come, come, let&rsquo;s talk of something else.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Oh, rot!</q> interrupted Twiddel, who by this time was
+decidedly flushed. <q>You needn&rsquo;t ride the high horse like
+that, you are not Mr Mandell-Essington any longer.</q></p>
+
+<p>With a violent start, the clergyman brought his fist
+crash on the table, and exclaimed aloud, <q>By Heaven,
+that&rsquo;s it!</q></p>
+</div>
+
+<div id="LL0405" type="chapter">
+<pb n="210"/><anchor id="Pg210"/>
+<index index="toc"/>
+<index index="pdf"/>
+<head rend="text-align: center">
+  <hi rend="font-size: 100%">CHAPTER V.</hi>
+</head>
+
+<p>As one may suppose, everybody in the room started in
+great astonishment at this extraordinary outburst. With
+a sharp <q>Hollo!</q> Twiddel turned in his seat, to see the
+clergyman standing over him with a look of the keenest
+inquiry in his well-favoured face.</p>
+
+<p><q>May I ask, Dr Twiddel, what you know of the gentleman
+you just named?</q> he said, with perfect politeness.</p>
+
+<p>The conscience-smitten doctor gazed at him blankly,
+and the colour suddenly left his face. But Welsh&rsquo;s
+nerves were stronger; and, as he looked hard at the
+stranger, a jubilant light leaped to his eyes.</p>
+
+<p><q>It&rsquo;s our man!</q> he cried, before his friend could gather
+his wits. <q>It&rsquo;s Beveridge, or Bunker, or whatever he
+calls himself! Waiter!</q></p>
+
+<p>Instantly three waiters, all agog, hurried at his summons.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker regarded him with considerable surprise.
+He had quite expected that the pair would be thrown into
+confusion, but not that it would take this form.</p>
+
+<p><q>Excuse me, sir,</q> he began, but Welsh interrupted him
+by crying to the leading waiter&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><q>Fetch a four-wheeled cab and a policeman, quick!</q>
+As the man hesitated, he added, <q>This man here is an
+escaped lunatic.</q></p>
+
+<p>The waiter was starting for the door, when Mr Bunker
+stepped out quickly and interrupted him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Stop one minute, waiter,</q> he said, with a quiet, unruffled
+<pb n="211"/><anchor id="Pg211"/>
+air that went far to establish his sanity. <q>Do I
+look like a lunatic? Kindly call the proprietor first.</q></p>
+
+<p>The stout proprietor was already on his way to their
+table, and the one or two other diners were beginning to
+gather round. Mr Bunker&rsquo;s manner had impressed
+even Welsh, and after his nature he took refuge in bluster.</p>
+
+<p><q>I say, my man,</q> he cried, <q>this won&rsquo;t pass. Somebody
+fetch a cab.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Vat is dees about?</q> asked the proprietor, coming up.</p>
+
+<p><q>Your wine, I&rsquo;m afraid, has been rather too powerful
+for this gentleman,</q> Mr Bunker explained, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p><q>Look here,</q> blustered Welsh, <q>do you know you&rsquo;ve
+got a lunatic in the room?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You can perhaps guess it,</q> smiled Mr Bunker, indicating
+Welsh with his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>The waiters began to twitter, and Welsh, with an effort,
+pulled himself together.</p>
+
+<p><q>My friend here,</q> he said, <q>is Dr Twiddel, a well-known
+practitioner in London. He can tell you that he
+certified this man as a lunatic, and that he afterwards
+escaped from his asylum. That is so, Twiddel?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes,</q> assented Twiddel, whose colour was beginning
+to come back a little.</p>
+
+<p><q>Who are you, sare?</q> asked the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p><q>Show him your card, Twiddel,</q> said Welsh, producing
+his own and handing it over.</p>
+
+<p>The proprietor looked at both cards, and then turned to
+Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>And who are you, sare?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My name is Mandell-Essington.</q></p>
+<pb n="212"/><anchor id="Pg212"/>
+
+<p><q>His name&qdash;</q> began Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>Have you a card?</q> interposed the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am sorry I have not,</q> replied Mr Bunker (to still
+call him by the name of his choice).</p>
+
+<p><q>His name is Francis Beveridge,</q> said Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>I beg your pardon; it is Mandell-Essington.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Any other description?</q> Welsh asked, with a sneer.</p>
+
+<p><q>A gentleman, I believe.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No other occupation?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Not unless you can call a justice of the peace such,</q>
+replied Mr Bunker, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p><q>And yet he disguises himself as a clergyman!</q> exclaimed
+Welsh, triumphantly, turning to the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker saw that he was caught, but he merely
+laughed, and observed, <q>My friend here disguises himself
+in liquor, a much less respectable cloak.</q></p>
+
+<p>Unfortunately the humour of this remark was somewhat
+thrown away on his present audience; indeed, coming
+from a professed clergyman, it produced an unfavourable
+impression.</p>
+
+<p><q>You are not a clergyman?</q> said the proprietor, suspiciously.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am glad to say I am not,</q> replied Mr Bunker,
+frankly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Den vat do you do in dis dress?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I put it on as a compliment to the cloth; I retain it at
+present for decency,</q> said Mr Bunker, whose tongue had
+now got a fair start of him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Mad,</q> remarked Welsh, confidentially, shrugging his
+shoulders with really excellent dramatic effect.</p>
+<pb n="213"/><anchor id="Pg213"/>
+
+<p>By this time the audience were disposed to agree with
+him.</p>
+
+<p><q>You can give no better account of yourself dan dis?</q>
+asked the proprietor.</p>
+
+<p><q>I am anxious to,</q> replied Mr Bunker, <q>but a public
+restaurant is not the place in which I choose to give it.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Fetch the cab and the policeman,</q> said Welsh to a
+waiter.</p>
+
+<p>At this moment another gentleman entered the room,
+and at the sight of him Mr Bunker&rsquo;s face brightened,
+and he stopped the waiter by a cry of, <q>Wait one moment;
+here comes a gentleman who knows me.</q></p>
+
+<p>Everybody turned, and beheld a burly, very fashionably
+dressed young man, with a fair moustache and a cheerful
+countenance.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, Bonker!</q> he cried.</p>
+
+<p>This confirmation of Mr Bunker&rsquo;s
+<hi rend="font-style: italic">aliases</hi> ought, one
+would expect, to have delighted the two conspirators, but,
+instead, it produced the most remarkable effect. Twiddel
+utterly collapsed, while even Welsh&rsquo;s impudence at
+last deserted him. Neither said a word as the Baron von
+Blitzenberg greeted his friend with affectionate heartiness.</p>
+
+<p><q>My friend, zis is good for ze heart! Bot, how? vat
+makes it here?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, the most unfortunate mistake has
+occurred. Two men here&qdash;</q> But at this moment he
+stopped in great surprise, for the Baron was staring hard
+first at Welsh and then at Twiddel.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ah!</q> he exclaimed, <q>Mr Mandell-Essington, I zink?</q></p>
+<pb n="214"/><anchor id="Pg214"/>
+
+<p>Welsh hesitated for an instant, and his hesitation was
+evident to all. Then he replied, <q>No, you are mistaken.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Surely I cannot be; you did stay in Fogelschloss?</q>
+said the Baron. <q>Is not zis Dr Twiddel?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No&mdash;er&mdash;ah&mdash;yes,</q> stammered Twiddel, looking feebly
+at Welsh.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron looked from the one to the other in great
+perplexity, when Mr Bunker, who had been much puzzled
+by this conversation, broke in, <q>Did you call that person
+Mandell-Essington?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I cairtainly zought it vas.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Where did you meet him?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>In Bavaria, at my own castle.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are mistaken, sir,</q> said Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>One moment, Mr Welsh,</q> said Mr Bunker. <q>How
+long ago was this, Baron?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Jost before I gom to London. He travelled viz zis
+ozzer gentleman, Dr Twiddel.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You are wrong, sir,</q> persisted Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>For his health,</q> added the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>A light began to dawn on Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>His health?</q> he cried, and then smiled politely at
+Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>We will talk this over, Mr Welsh.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I am sorry I happen to be going,</q> said Welsh, taking
+his hat and coat.</p>
+
+<p><q>What, without your lunatic?</q> asked Mr Bunker.</p>
+
+<p><q>That is Dr Twiddel&rsquo;s affair, not mine. Kindly let me
+pass, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, Mr Welsh; if you go now, it will be in the company
+<pb n="215"/><anchor id="Pg215"/>
+of that policeman you were so anxious to send for.</q>
+There was such an unmistakable threat in Mr Bunker&rsquo;s
+voice and eye that Welsh hesitated. <q>We will talk it over,
+Mr Welsh,</q> Mr Bunker repeated distinctly. <q>Kindly sit
+down. I have several things to ask you and your friend
+Dr Twiddel.</q></p>
+
+<p>Muttering something under his breath, Welsh hung up
+his coat and hat, sat down, and then assuming an air of
+great impudence, remarked, <q>Fire away, Mr
+Mandell-Essington&mdash;Beveridge&mdash;Bunker,
+or whatever you call yourself.</q></p>
+
+<p>Without paying the slightest attention to this piece of
+humour, Mr Bunker turned to the bewildered proprietor,
+and, to the intense disappointment of the audience, said,
+<q>You can leave us now, thank you; our talk is likely to be
+of a somewhat private nature.</q> As their gallery withdrew,
+he drew up a chair for the Baron, and all four sat
+round the small table.</p>
+
+<p><q>Now,</q> said Mr Bunker to Welsh, <q>you will perhaps
+be kind enough to give me a precise account of your
+doings since the middle of November.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;m d&qdash;d if I do,</q> replied Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>Sare,</q> interposed the Baron in his stateliest manner,
+<q>I know not now who you may be, but I see you are no
+gentleman. Ven you are viz gentlemen&mdash;and noblemen&mdash;you
+vill please to speak respectfully.</q></p>
+
+<p>The stare that Welsh attempted in reply was somewhat
+ineffective.</p>
+
+<p><q>Perhaps, Dr Twiddel, you can give the account I
+want?</q> said Mr Bunker.</p>
+<pb n="216"/><anchor id="Pg216"/>
+
+<p>The poor doctor looked at his friend, hesitated, and
+finally stammered out, <q>I&mdash;I don&rsquo;t see why.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed
+it to him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Perhaps this may suggest a why.</q></p>
+
+<p>When the doctor saw the bill for Mr Beveridge&rsquo;s linen,
+the last of his courage ebbed away. He glanced helplessly
+at Welsh, but his ally was now leaning back in his
+chair with such an irritating assumption of indifference,
+and the prospective fee had so obviously vanished, that
+he was suddenly seized with the most virtuous resolutions.</p>
+
+<p><q>What do you want to know, sir?</q> he asked.</p>
+
+<p><q>In the first place, how did you come to have anything
+to do with me?</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh, whose sharp wits instantly divined the weak
+point in the attack, cut in quickly, <q>Don&rsquo;t tell him if he
+doesn&rsquo;t know already!</q></p>
+
+<p>But Twiddel&rsquo;s relapse to virtue was complete. <q>I was
+asked to take charge of you while&qdash;</q> He hesitated.</p>
+
+<p><q>While I was unwell,</q> smiled Mr Bunker. <q>Yes?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I was to travel with you.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ah!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But I&mdash;I didn&rsquo;t like the idea, you see; and so&mdash;in
+fact&mdash;Welsh suggested that I should take him instead.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>While you locked me up in Clankwood?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Yes.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha, ha!</q> laughed Mr Bunker, <q>I must say it was
+a devilish humorous idea.</q></p>
+
+<p>At this Twiddel began to take heart again.</p>
+<pb n="217"/><anchor id="Pg217"/>
+
+<p><q>I am very sorry, sir, for&qdash;</q> he began, when the
+Baron interrupted excitedly.</p>
+
+<p><q>Zen vat is your name, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q><hi rend="font-style: italic">I</hi> am Mr
+Mandell-Essington, Baron.</q></p>
+
+<p>The Baron looked at the other two in turn with wide-open
+eyes.</p>
+
+<p>Then he turned indignantly upon Welsh.</p>
+
+<p><q>You were impostor zen, sare? You gom to my house
+and call yourself a gentleman, and impose upon me, and
+tell of your family and your estates. You, a low&mdash;er&mdash;er&mdash;vat
+you say?&mdash;a low <hi rend="font-style: italic">cad!</hi>
+Bonker, I cannot sit at ze same table viz zese persons!</q></p>
+
+<p>He rose as he spoke.</p>
+
+<p><q>One moment, Baron! Before we send these gentlemen
+back to their really promising career of fraud, I want
+to ask one or two more questions.</q> He turned to Twiddel.
+<q>What were you to be paid for this?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>�500.</q></p>
+
+<p>Mr Bunker opened his eyes. <q>That&rsquo;s the way my
+money goes? From your anxiety to recapture me, I
+presume you have not yet been paid?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, I assure you, Mr Essington,</q> said Twiddel,
+eagerly; <q>I give you my word.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I shall judge by the circumstances rather than your
+word, sir. It is perhaps unnecessary to inform you that
+you have had your trouble for nothing.</q> He looked at
+them both as though they were curious animals, and
+then continued: <q>You, Mr Welsh, are a really wonderfully
+typical rascal. I am glad to have met you. You
+can now put on your coat and go.</q> As Welsh still sat
+<pb n="218"/><anchor id="Pg218"/>
+defiantly, he added, <q><hi rend="font-style: italic">At
+once</hi>, sir! or you may possibly
+find policemen and four-wheeled cabs outside. I have
+something else to say to Dr Twiddel.</q></p>
+
+<p>With the best air he could muster, Welsh silently cocked
+his hat on the side of his head, threw his coat over his arm,
+and was walking out, when a watchful waiter intercepted
+him.</p>
+
+<p><q>Your bill, sare.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My friend is paying.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>No, Mr Welsh,</q> cried the real Essington; <q>I think
+you had better pay for this dinner yourself.</q></p>
+
+<p>Welsh saw the vigilant proprietor already coming towards
+him, and with a look that augured ill for Twiddel
+when they were alone, he put his hand in his pocket.</p>
+
+<p><q>Ha, ha!</q> laughed Essington, <q>the inevitable bill!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>And now,</q> he continued, turning to Twiddel, <q>you,
+doctor, seem to me a most unfortunately constructed
+biped; your nose is just long enough to enable you to be
+led into a singularly original adventure, and your brains
+just too few to carry it through creditably. Hang me if I
+wouldn&rsquo;t have made a better job of the business! But
+before you disappear from the company of gentlemen I
+must ask you to do one favour for me. First thing to-morrow
+morning you will go down to Clankwood, tell
+what lie you please, and obtain my legal discharge, or
+whatever it&rsquo;s called. After that you may go to the devil&mdash;or,
+what comes much to the same thing, to Mr Welsh&mdash;for
+all I care. You will do this without fail?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ye&mdash;es,</q> stammered Twiddel, <q>certainly, sir.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>You may now retire&mdash;and the faster the better.</q></p>
+<pb n="219"/><anchor id="Pg219"/>
+
+<p>As the crestfallen doctor followed his ally out of the
+restaurant, the Baron exclaimed in disgust, <q>Ze cads!
+You are too merciful. You should punish.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>My dear Baron, after all I am obliged to these rascals
+for the most amusing time I have ever had in my life, and
+one of the best friends I&rsquo;ve ever made.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ach, Bonker! Bot vat do I say? You are not Bonker
+no more, and yet may I call you so, jost for ze sake of
+pleasant times? It vill be too hard to change.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>I&rsquo;d rather you would, Baron. It will be a perpetual
+in memoriam record of my departed virtues.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Departed, Bonker?</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Departed, Baron,</q> his friend repeated with a sigh;
+<q>for how can I ever hope to have so spacious a field for
+them again? Believe me, they will wither in an atmosphere
+of orthodoxy. And now let us order dinner.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>But first,</q> said the Baron, blushing, <q>I haf a piece of
+news.</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Baron, I guess it!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>Ze Lady Alicia is now mine! Congratulate!</q></p>
+
+<p><q>With all my heart, Baron! What could be a fitter
+finish than the detection of villainy, the marriage of all
+the sane people, and the apotheosis of the lunatic?</q></p>
+
+<milestone unit="tb"/>
+
+<trailer rend="text-align: center; font-size: 75%">THE END.</trailer>
+</div>
+</div>
+</body>
+
+<back>
+  <div rend="page-break-before: right">
+    <index index="toc"/>
+    <index index="pdf"/>
+    <head rend="text-align: center">
+      <hi rend="font-size: 125%">ERRATA.</hi>
+    </head>
+   
+    <list><anchor id='e1'/>
+      <item>PART I.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER IV.</item>
+      <item>Changed: he whistled, <ref target="E1"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">The</hi></ref>
+        sounds outside</item>
+      <item>To: he whistled, <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">the</hi>
+        sounds outside</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e2'/>
+      <item>PART I.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER VI.</item>
+      <item>Changed: Ye<ref target="E2"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">-</hi></ref>es.</item>
+      <item>To: Ye<hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">&mdash;</hi>es.</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e3'/>
+      <item>PART I.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER VII.</item>
+      <item>Changed: which that <ref target="E3"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">disapponted</hi></ref>
+        official only</item>
+      <item>To: which that <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">disappointed</hi>
+        official only</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e4'/>
+      <item>PART III.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER V.</item>
+      <item>Changed: something out<ref target="E4"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">.</hi></ref>&rdquo; he said</item>
+      <item>To: something out<hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">,</hi>&rdquo; he said</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e5'/>
+      <item>PART IV.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER I.</item>
+      <item>Changed: to me, <ref target="E5"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">$</hi></ref>200 to you</item>
+      <item>To: to me, <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">�</hi>200 to you</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e6'/>
+      <item>PART IV.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER I.</item>
+      <item>Changed: <hi
+        rend="font-style: italic">I</hi> let him loose?<ref target="E6"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">&rsquo;</hi></ref></item>
+      <item>To: <hi
+        rend="font-style: italic">I</hi> let him loose?<hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">&rdquo;</hi></item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e7'/>
+      <item>PART IV.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER II.</item>
+      <item>Changed: <ref target="E7"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">&nbsp;</hi></ref>Indeed?
+        Why not?&rdquo;</item>
+      <item>To: <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">&ldquo;</hi>Indeed?
+        Why not?&rdquo;</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e8'/>
+      <item>PART IV.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER III.</item>
+      <item>Changed: on his <ref target="E8"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">wideawake</hi></ref> hat and</item>
+      <item>To: on his <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">wide-awake</hi> hat and</item>
+    </list>
+
+    <list><anchor id='e9'/>
+      <item>PART IV.</item>
+      <item>CHAPTER III.</item>
+      <item>Changed: &ldquo;What <ref target="E9"><hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">nime</hi></ref>, sir?&rdquo;
+      </item>
+      <item>To: &ldquo;What <hi
+        rend="font-weight: bold">name</hi>, sir?&rdquo;
+      </item>
+    </list>
+  </div>
+
+  <div rend="page-break-before: right"> 
+    <divGen type="pgfooter"/> 
+  </div> 
+</back>
+
+</text>
+
+</TEI.2>
+
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diff --git a/20485.txt b/20485.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..58264da
--- /dev/null
+++ b/20485.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,7828 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
+
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no
+restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under
+the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or
+online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+
+Title: The Lunatic at Large
+
+Author: J. Storer Clouston
+
+Release Date: January 30, 2007 [Ebook #20485]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
+
+
+
+
+
+                                   THE
+                            LUNATIC AT LARGE
+
+                                _A NOVEL_
+
+                                   BY
+                           J. STORER CLOUSTON
+
+AUTHORIZED EDITION
+
+BRENTANO'S
+NEW YORK
+1915
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 CONTENTS
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+PART I.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART II.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+   CHAPTER VIII.
+   CHAPTER IX.
+PART III.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+   CHAPTER VI.
+   CHAPTER VII.
+PART IV.
+   CHAPTER I.
+   CHAPTER II.
+   CHAPTER III.
+   CHAPTER IV.
+   CHAPTER V.
+ERRATA.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                          THE LUNATIC AT LARGE.
+
+
+                              INTRODUCTORY.
+
+
+Into the history of Mr Francis Beveridge, as supplied by the obliging
+candour of the Baron von Blitzenberg and the notes of Dr Escott, Dr
+Twiddel and his friend Robert Welsh make a kind of explanatory entry. They
+most effectually set the ball a-rolling, and so the story starts in a
+small room looking out on a very uninteresting London street.
+
+It was about three o'clock on a November afternoon, that season of fogs
+and rains and mud, when towns-people long for fresh air and hillsides, and
+country-folk think wistfully of the warmth and lights of a city, when
+nobody is satisfied, and everybody has a cold. Outside the window of the
+room there were a few feet of earth adorned with a low bush or two, a line
+of railings, a stone-paved street, and on the other side a long row of
+uniform yellow brick houses. The apartment itself was a modest chamber,
+containing a minimum of rented furniture and a flickering gas-stove. By a
+small caseful of medical treatises and a conspicuous stethoscope, the
+least experienced could see that it was labelled consulting-room.
+
+Dr Twiddel was enjoying one of those moments of repose that occur even in
+the youngest practitioner's existence. For the purposes of this narrative
+he may briefly be described as an amiable-looking young man, with a little
+bit of fair moustache and still less chin, no practice to speak of, and a
+considerable quantity of unpaid bills. A man of such features and in such
+circumstances invites temptation. At the present moment, though his
+waistcoat was unbuttoned and his feet rested on the mantelpiece, his mind
+seemed not quite at ease. He looked back upon a number of fortunate events
+that had not occurred, and forward to various unpleasant things that might
+occur, and then he took a letter from his pocket and read it abstractedly.
+
+"I can't afford to refuse," he reflected, lugubriously; "and yet, hang it!
+I must say I don't fancy the job."
+
+When metal is molten it can be poured into any vessel; and at that moment
+a certain deep receptacle stood on the very doorstep.
+
+The doctor heard the bell, sat up briskly, stuffed the letter back into
+his pocket, and buttoned his waistcoat.
+
+"A patient at last!" and instantly there arose a vision of a simple
+operation, a fabulous fee, and twelve sickly millionaires an hour ever
+after. The door opened, and a loud voice hailed him familiarly.
+
+"Only Welsh," he sighed, and the vision went the way of all the others.
+
+The gentleman who swaggered in and clapped the doctor on the back, who
+next threw himself into the easiest chair and his hat and coat over the
+table, was in fact Mr Robert Welsh. From the moment he entered he pervaded
+the room; the stethoscope seemed to grow less conspicuous, Dr Twiddel's
+chin more diminutive, the apartment itself a mere background to this
+guest. Why? It would be hard to say precisely. He was a black-moustached,
+full-faced man, with an air of the most consummate assurance, and a person
+by some deemed handsome. Yet somehow or other he inevitably recalled the
+uncles of history. Perhaps this assurance alone gave him his atmosphere.
+You could have felt his egotism in the dark.
+
+He talked in a loud voice and with a great air of mastery over all the
+contingencies of a life about town. You felt that here sat one who had
+seen the world and gave things their proper proportions, who had learned
+how meretricious was orthodoxy, and which bars could really be
+recommended. He chaffed, patronised, and cheered the doctor. Patients had
+been scarce, had they? Well, after all, there were many consolations. Did
+Twiddle say he was hard up? Welsh himself in an even more evil case. He
+narrated various unfortunate transactions connected with the turf and
+other pursuits, with regret, no doubt, and yet with a fine rakish defiance
+of destiny. Twiddel's face cleared, and he began to show something of the
+same gallant spirit. He brought out a tall bottle with a Celtic
+superscription; Welsh half filled his glass, poured in some water from a
+dusty decanter, and proposed the toast of "Luck to the two most deserving
+sinners in London!"
+
+The doctor was fired, he drew the same letter from his pocket, and cried,
+"By Jove, Welsh, I'd almost forgotten to tell you of a lucky offer that
+came this morning."
+
+This was not strictly true, for as a matter of fact the doctor had only
+hesitated to tell of this offer lest he should be shamed to a decision.
+But Welsh was infectious.
+
+"Congratulations, old man!" said his friend. "What's it all about?"
+
+"Here's a letter from an old friend of my people's--Dr Watson, by name. He
+has a very good country practice, and he offers me this job."
+
+He handed the letter to Welsh, and then added, with a flutter of caution,
+"I haven't made up my mind yet. There are drawbacks, as you'll see."
+
+Welsh opened the letter and read:--
+
+"DEAR TWIDDEL,--I am happy to tell you that I am at last able to put
+something in your way. A gentleman in this neighbourhood, one of my most
+esteemed patients, has lately suffered from a severe mental and physical
+shock, followed by brain fever, and is still, I regret to say, in an
+extremely unstable mental condition. I have strongly recommended quiet and
+change of scene, and at my suggestion he is to be sent abroad under the
+care of a medical attendant. I have now much pleasure in offering you the
+post, if you would care to accept it. You will find your patient, Mr
+Mandell-Essington, an extremely agreeable young man when in possession of
+his proper faculties. He has large means and no near relatives; he comes
+of one of the best families in the county; and though he has, I surmise,
+sown his wild oats pretty freely, he was considered of unusual promise
+previous to this unfortunate illness. He is of an amiable and pleasant
+disposition, though at present, we fear, inclined to suicidal tendencies.
+I have no particular reason to think he is at all homicidal; still, you
+will see that he naturally requires most careful watching. It is possible
+that you may hesitate to leave your practice (which I trust prospers); but
+as the responsibility is considerable, the fee will be proportionately
+generous--L500, and all expenses paid."
+
+("Five hundred quid!" exclaimed Welsh.)
+
+"I would suggest a trip on the Continent. The duration and the places to
+be visited will be entirely at your discretion. It is of course hardly
+necessary to say that you will seek quiet localities. Trusting to hear
+from you at your very earliest convenience, believe me, yours sincerely,
+
+                                                          TIMOTHY WATSON."
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with the respect that prosperity naturally
+excites. He smiled on him as an equal, and cried, heartily,
+"Congratulations again! When do you start?"
+
+Twiddel fidgeted uncomfortably, "I--er--well, you see--ah--I haven't _quite_
+made up my mind yet."
+
+"What's the matter?"
+
+"Hang it, Welsh--er--the fact is I don't altogether like the job."
+
+Scruples of any kind always surprised Welsh.
+
+"Can't afford to leave the practice?" he asked with a laugh.
+
+"That's--ah--partly the reason," replied Twiddel, uncomfortably.
+
+"Rot, old man! There's a girl in the case. Out with it!"
+
+"No, it isn't that. You see it's the very devil of a responsibility."
+
+At this confession of weakness he looked guiltily at his heroic friend.
+From the bottom of his heart he wished he had screwed up his courage in
+private. Welsh had so little imagination.
+
+"By Gad," exclaimed Welsh, "I'd manage a nunnery for L500!"
+
+"I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly homicidal, lunatic
+isn't a nunnery."
+
+Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.
+
+"Then you are going to chuck up L500 and a free trip on the Continent?" he
+said.
+
+"Dr Watson himself admits the responsibility."
+
+"With a--what is it?--agreeable young man?"
+
+"Only when in possession of his proper faculties," said the doctor,
+dismally.
+
+"And an amiable disposition?"
+
+"With suicidal tendencies, hang it!"
+
+"I should have thought," said Welsh, with a laugh, "that they would only
+matter to himself."
+
+"But he is homicidal too--or at least it's doubtful. I want to know a
+little more about that, thank you!"
+
+"What is the man's name?"
+
+"Mandell-Essington."
+
+"Sounds aristocratic. He might come in useful afterwards, when he's
+cured."
+
+Welsh spoke with an air of reflection, which might have been entirely
+disinterested.
+
+"He'd probably commit suicide first," said Twiddel, "and of course I'd get
+all the blame."
+
+"Or homicide," replied Welsh, "When _he_ would."
+
+"No, he wouldn't--that's the worst of it; I'd be blamed for having my own
+throat cut."
+
+"Twiddel," said his friend, deliberately, "it seems to me you're a fool."
+
+"I'm at least alive," cried Twiddel, warming with sympathy for himself,
+"which I probably wouldn't be for long in Mr Essington's company."
+
+"I don't blame your nerves, dear boy," said Welsh, with a smile that
+showed all his teeth, "only your head. Here are L500 going a-begging.
+There must be some way----" He paused, deep in reflection. "How would it
+do," he remarked in a minute, "if _I_ were to go in your place?"
+
+Twiddel laughed and shook his head.
+
+"Couldn't be managed?"
+
+"Couldn't possibly, I'm afraid."
+
+"No," said Welsh. "I foresee difficulties."
+
+He fished a pipe out of his pocket, filled and lit it, and leaned back in
+his chair gazing at the ceiling.
+
+"Twiddel, my boy," he said at length, "will you give me a percentage of
+the fee if I think of a safe dodge for getting the money and preserving
+your throat?"
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+"Rather!" he said.
+
+"I am perfectly serious," replied Welsh, keenly. "I'm certain the thing is
+quite possible."
+
+He half closed his eyes and ruminated in silence. The doctor watched
+him--fascinated, afraid. Somehow or other he felt that he was already a
+kind of Guy Fawkes. There was something so unlawful in Welsh's expression.
+
+They sat there without speaking for about ten minutes, and then all of a
+sudden Welsh sprang up with a shout of laughter, slapping first his own
+leg and then the doctor's back.
+
+"By Gad, I've got it!" he cried. "I have it!"
+
+And he had; hence this tale.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART I.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+In a certain fertile and well-wooded county of England there stands a high
+stone wall. On a sunny day the eye of the traveller passing through this
+province is gratified by the sparkle of myriads of broken bottles arranged
+closely and continuously along its coping-stone. Above these shining
+facets the boughs of tall trees swing in the wind and throw their shadows
+across the highway. The wall at last leaves the road and follows the park
+round its entire extent. Its height never varies; the broken bottles
+glitter perpetually; and only through two entrances, and that when the
+gates are open, can one gain a single glimpse inside: for the gates are
+solid, with no chinks for the curious.
+
+The country all round is undulating, and here and there from the crest of
+an eminence you can see a great space of well-timbered park land within
+this wall; and in winter, when the leaves are off the trees, you may spy
+an imposing red-brick mansion in the midst.
+
+Any native will inform you, with a mixture of infectious awe and becoming
+pride, that this is no less than the far-famed private asylum of
+Clankwood.
+
+This ideal institution bore the enviable reputation of containing the
+best-bred lunatics in England. It was credibly reported that however well
+marked their symptoms and however well developed their delusions, none but
+ladies and gentlemen of the most unblemished descent were permitted to
+enjoy its seclusion. The dances there were universally considered the most
+agreeable functions in the county. The conversation of many of the inmates
+was of the widest range and the most refreshing originality, and the
+demeanour of all, even when most free from the conventional trammels of
+outside society, bore evidence of an expensive, and in some cases of a
+Christian, upbringing. This is scarcely to be wondered at, when beneath
+one roof were assembled the heirs-presumptive to three dukedoms, two
+suicidal marquises, an odd archbishop or so, and the flower of the
+baronetage and clergy. As this list only includes a few of the celebrities
+able or willing to be introduced to distinguished visitors, and makes no
+mention of the uncorroborated dignities (such as the classical divinities
+and Old Testament duplicates), the anxiety shown by some people to certify
+their relations can easily be understood.
+
+Dr Congleton, the proprietor and physician of Clankwood, was a gentleman
+singularly well fitted to act as host on the occasion of asylum reunions.
+No one could exceed him in the respect he showed to a coroneted head, even
+when cracked; and a bishop under his charge was always secured, as far as
+possible, from the least whisper of heretical conversation. He possessed
+besides a pleasant rubicund countenance and an immaculate wardrobe. He was
+further fortunate in having in his assistants, Dr Escott and Dr Sherlaw,
+two young gentlemen whose medical knowledge was almost equal to the
+affability of their manners and the excellence of their family
+connections.
+
+One November night these two were sitting over a comfortable fire in
+Sherlaw's room. Twelve o'clock struck, Escott finished the remains of
+something in a tumbler, rose, and yawned sleepily.
+
+"Time to turn in, young man," said he.
+
+"I suppose it is," replied Sherlaw, a very pleasant and boyish young
+gentleman. "Hullo! What's that? A cab?"
+
+They both listened, and some way off they could just pick out a sound like
+wheels upon gravel.
+
+"It's very late for any one to be coming in," said Escott.
+
+The sound grew clearer and more unmistakably like a cab rattling quickly
+up the drive.
+
+"It is a cab," said Sherlaw.
+
+They heard it draw up before the front door, and then there came a pause.
+
+"Who the deuce can it be?" muttered Escott.
+
+In a few minutes there came a knock at the door, and a servant entered.
+
+"A new case, sir. Want's to see Dr Congleton particular."
+
+"A man or a woman?"
+
+"Man, sir."
+
+"All right," growled Sherlaw. "I'll come, confound him."
+
+"Bad luck, old man," laughed Escott. "I'll wait here in case by any chance
+you want me."
+
+He fell into his chair again, lit a cigarette, and sleepily turned over
+the pages of a book. Dr Sherlaw was away for a little time, and when he
+returned his cheerful face wore a somewhat mystified expression.
+
+"Well?" asked Escott.
+
+"Rather a rum case," said his colleague, thoughtfully.
+
+"What's the matter?"
+
+"Don't know."
+
+"Who was it?"
+
+"Don't know that either."
+
+Escott opened his eyes.
+
+"What happened, then?"
+
+"Well," said Sherlaw, drawing his chair up to the fire again, "I'll tell
+you just what did happen, and you can make what you can out of it. Of
+course, I suppose it's all right, really, but--well, the proceedings were a
+little unusual, don't you know.
+
+"I went down to the door, and there I found a four-wheeler with a man
+standing beside it. The door of the cab was shut, and there seemed to be
+two more men inside. This chap who'd got out--a youngish man--hailed me at
+once as though he'd bought the whole place.
+
+" 'You Dr Congleton?'
+
+" 'Damn your impertinence!' I said to myself, 'ringing people up at this
+hour, and talking like a bally drill-sergeant.'
+
+"I told him politely I wasn't old Congers, but that I'd make a good enough
+substitute for the likes of him.
+
+" 'I tell you what it is,' said the Johnnie, 'I've brought a patient for
+Dr Congleton, a cousin of mine, and I've got a doctor here, too. I want to
+see Dr Congleton.'
+
+" 'He's probably in bed,' I said, 'but I'll do just as well. I suppose
+he's certified, and all that.'
+
+" 'Oh, it's all right,' said the man, rather as though he expected me to
+say that it wasn't. He looked a little doubtful what to do, and then I
+heard some one inside the cab call him. He stuck his head in the window
+and they confabbed for a minute, and then he turned to me and said, with
+the most magnificent air you ever saw, like a chap buying a set of diamond
+studs, 'My friend here is a great personal friend of Dr Congleton, and
+it's a damned---- I mean it's an uncommonly delicate matter. We must see
+him.'
+
+" 'Well, if you insist, I'll see if I can get him,' I said; 'but you'd
+better come in and wait.'
+
+"So the Johnnie opened the door of the cab, and there was a great hauling
+and pushing, my friend pulling an arm from the outside, and the doctor
+shoving from within, and at last they fetched out their patient. He was a
+tall man, in a very smart-looking, long, light top-coat, and a cap with a
+large peak shoved over his eyes, and he seemed very unsteady on his pins.
+
+" 'Drunk, by George!' I said to myself at first.
+
+"The doctor--another young-looking man--hopped out after him, and they each
+took an arm, lugged their patient into the waiting-room, and popped him
+into an armchair. There he collapsed, and sat with his head hanging down
+as limp as a sucked orange.
+
+"I asked them if anything was the matter with him.
+
+" 'Only tired,--just a little sleepy,' said the cousin.
+
+"And do you know, Escott, what I'd stake my best boots was the matter with
+him?"
+
+"What?"
+
+"The man was drugged!"
+
+Escott looked at the fire thoughtfully.
+
+"Well," he said, "it's quite possible; he might have been too violent to
+manage."
+
+"Why couldn't they have said so, then?"
+
+"H'm. Not knowing, can't say. What happened next?"
+
+"Next thing was, I asked the doctor what name I should give. He answered
+in a kind of nervous way, 'No name; you needn't give any name. I know Dr
+Congleton personally. Ask him to come, please.' So off I tooled, and found
+old Congers just thinking of turning in.
+
+" 'My clients are sometimes unnecessarily discreet', he remarked in his
+pompous way when I told him about the arrival, and of course he added his
+usual platitude about our reputation for discretion.
+
+"I went back with him to the waiting-room, and just stood at the door long
+enough to see him hail the doctor chap very cordially and be introduced to
+the patient's cousin, and then I came away. Rather rum, isn't it?"
+
+"You've certainly made the best of the yarn," said Escott with a laugh.
+
+"By George, if you'd been there you'd have thought it funny too."
+
+"Well, good-night, I'm off. We'll probably hear to-morrow what it's all
+about."
+
+But in the morning there was little more to be learned about the
+new-comer's history and antecedents. Dr Congleton spoke of the matter to
+the two young men, with the pompous cough that signified extreme
+discretion.
+
+"Brought by an old friend of mine," he said. "A curious story, Escott, but
+quite intelligible. There seem to be the best reasons for answering no
+questions about him; you understand?"
+
+"Certainly, sir," said the two assistants, with the more assurance as they
+had no information to give.
+
+"I am perfectly satisfied, mind you--perfectly satisfied," added their
+chief.
+
+"By the way, sir," Sherlaw ventured to remark, "hadn't they given him
+something in the way of a sleeping-draught?"
+
+"Eh? Indeed? I hardly think so, Sherlaw, I hardly think so. Case of
+reaction entirely. Good morning."
+
+"Congleton seems satisfied," remarked Escott.
+
+"I'll tell you what," said the junior, profoundly. "Old Congers is a very
+good chap, and all that, but he's not what I should call extra sharp. _I_
+should feel uncommon suspicious."
+
+"H'm," replied Escott. "As you say, our worthy chief is not extra sharp.
+But that's not our business, after all."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+"By the way," said Escott, a couple of days later, "how is your mysterious
+man getting on? I haven't seen him myself yet."
+
+Sherlaw laughed.
+
+"He's turning out a regular sportsman, by George! For the first day he was
+more or less in the same state in which he arrived. Then he began to wake
+up and ask questions. 'What the devil is this place?' he said to me in the
+evening. It may sound profane, but he was very polite, I assure you. I
+told him, and he sort of raised his eyebrows, smiled, and thanked me like
+a Prime Minister acknowledging an obligation. Since then he has steadily
+developed sporting, not to say frisky, tastes. He went out this morning,
+and in five minutes had his arm round one of the prettiest nurses' waist.
+And she didn't seem to mind much either, by George!"
+
+"He'll want a bit of looking after, I take it."
+
+"Seems to me he is uncommonly capable of taking care of himself. The rest
+of the establishment will want looking after, though."
+
+From this time forth the mysterious gentleman began to regularly take the
+air and to be remarked, and having once remarked him, people looked again.
+
+Mr Francis Beveridge, for such it appeared was his name, was distinguished
+even for Clankwood. Though his antecedents were involved in mystery, so
+much confidence was placed in Dr Congleton's discrimination that the
+unknown stranger was at once received on the most friendly terms by every
+one; and, to tell the truth, it would have been hard to repulse him for
+long. His manner was perfect, his conversation witty to the extremest
+verge of propriety, and his clothes, fashionable in cut and of
+unquestionable fit, bore on such of the buttons as were made of metal the
+hall mark of a leading London firm. He wore the longest and most silky
+moustaches ever seen, and beneath them a short well-tended beard completed
+his resemblance--so the ladies declared--to King Charles of unhappy memory.
+The melancholic Mr Jones (quondam author of 'Sunflowers--A Lyrical Medley')
+declared, indeed, that for Mr Beveridge shaving was prohibited, and darkly
+whispered "suicidal," but his opinion was held of little account.
+
+It was upon a morning about a week after his arrival that Dr Escott, alone
+in the billiard-room, saw him enter. Escott had by this time made his
+acquaintance, and, like almost everybody else, had already succumbed to
+the fascination of his address.
+
+"Good morning, doctor," he said; "I wish you to do me a trifling favour, a
+mere bending of your eyes."
+
+Escott laughed.
+
+"I shall be delighted. What is it?"
+
+Mr Beveridge unbuttoned his waistcoat and displayed his shirt-front.
+
+"I only want you to be good enough to read the inscription written here."
+
+The doctor bent down.
+
+" 'Francis Beveridge,' " he said. "That's all I see."
+
+"And that's all I see," said Mr Beveridge. "Now what can you read here? I
+am not troubling you?"
+
+He held out his handkerchief as he spoke.
+
+"Not a bit," laughed the doctor, "but I only see 'Francis Beveridge' here
+too, I'm afraid."
+
+"Everything has got it," said Mr Beveridge, shaking his head, it would be
+hard to say whether humorously or sadly. " 'Francis Beveridge' on
+everything. It follows, I suppose, that I am Francis Beveridge?"
+
+"What else?" asked Escott, who was much amused.
+
+"That's just it. What else?" said the other. He smiled a peculiarly
+charming smile, thanked the doctor with exaggerated gratitude, and
+strolled out again.
+
+"He is a rum chap," reflected Escott.
+
+And indeed in the outside world he might safely have been termed rather
+rum, but here in this backwater, so full of the oddest flotsam, his
+waywardness was rather less than the average. He had, for instance, a
+diverting habit of modifying the time, and even the tune, of the hymns on
+Sunday, and he confessed to having kissed all the nurses and housemaids
+except three. But both Escott and Sherlaw declared they had never met a
+more congenial spirit. Mr Beveridge's game of billiards was quite
+remarkable even for Clankwood, where the enforced leisure of many of the
+noblemen and gentlemen had made them highly proficient on the spot; he
+showed every promise, on his rare opportunities, of being an unusually
+entertaining small hour, whisky-and-soda _raconteur_; in fact, he was
+evidently a man whose previous career, whatever it might have been (and
+his own statements merely served to increase the mystery round this
+point), had led him through many humorous by-paths, and left him with few
+restrictive prejudices.
+
+November became December, and to all appearances he had settled down in
+his new residence with complete resignation, when that unknowable factor
+that upsets so many calculations came upon the scene,--the factor, I mean,
+that wears a petticoat.
+
+Mr Beveridge strolled into Escott's room one morning to find the doctor
+inspecting a mixed assortment of white kid gloves.
+
+"Do these mean past or future conquests?" he asked with his smile.
+
+"Both," laughed the doctor. "I'm trying to pick out a clean pair for the
+dance to-night."
+
+"You go a-dancing, then?"
+
+"Don't you know it's our own monthly ball here?"
+
+"Of course," said Mr Beveridge, passing his hand quickly across his brow.
+"I must have heard, but things pass so quickly through my head nowadays."
+
+He laughed a little conventional laugh, and gazed at the gloves.
+
+"You are coming, of course?" said Escott.
+
+"If you can lend me a pair of these. Can you spare one?"
+
+"Help yourself," replied the doctor.
+
+Mr Beveridge selected a pair with the care of a man who is particular in
+such matters, put them in his pocket, thanked the doctor, and went out.
+
+"Hope he doesn't play the fool," thought Escott.
+
+Invitations to the balls at Clankwood were naturally in great demand
+throughout the county, for nowhere were noblemen so numerous and
+divinities so tangible. Carriages and pairs rolled up one after another,
+the mansion glittered with lights, the strains of the band could be heard
+loud and stirring or low and faintly all through the house.
+
+"Who is that man dancing opposite my daughter?" asked the Countess of
+Grillyer.
+
+"A Mr Beveridge," replied Dr Congleton.
+
+Mr Beveridge, in fact, the mark of all eyes, was dancing in a set of
+lancers. The couple opposite to him consisted of a stout elderly gentleman
+who, doubtless for the best reasons, styled himself the Emperor of the two
+Americas, and a charming little pink and flaxen partner--the Lady Alicia a
+Fyre, as everybody who was anybody could have told you. The handsome
+stranger moved, as might be expected, with his accustomed grace and air of
+distinction, and, probably to convince his admirers that there was nothing
+meretricious in his performance, he carried his hands in his pockets the
+whole time. This certainly caused a little inconvenience to his partner,
+but to be characteristic in Clankwood one had to step very far out of the
+beaten track.
+
+For two figures the Emperor snorted disapproval, but at the end of the
+third, when Mr Beveridge had been skipping round the outskirts of the set,
+his hands still thrust out of sight, somewhat to the derangement of the
+customary procedure, he could contain himself no longer.
+
+"Hey, young man!" he asked in his most stentorian voice, as the music
+ceased, "are you afraid of having your pockets picked?"
+
+"Alas!" replied Mr Beveridge, "it would take two men to do that."
+
+"Huh!" snorted the Emperor, "you are so d--d strong, are you?"
+
+"I mean," answered his _vis-a-vis_ with his polite smile, "that it would
+take one man to put something in and another to take it out."
+
+This remark not only turned the laugh entirely on Mr Beveridge's side, but
+it introduced the upsetting factor.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+The Lady Alicia a Fyre, though of the outer everyday world herself, had,
+in common with most families of any pretensions to ancient dignity, a
+creditable sprinkling of uncles and cousins domiciled in Clankwood, and so
+she frequently attended these dances.
+
+To-night her eye had been caught by a tall, graceful figure executing a
+_pas seul_ in the middle of the room with its hands in its pockets. The
+face of this gentleman was so composed and handsome, and he seemed so
+oblivious to the presence of everybody else, that her interest was
+immediately excited. During the set of lancers in which he was her
+_vis-a-vis_ she watched him furtively with a growing feeling of
+admiration. She had never heard him say a word, and it was with a
+sensation of the liveliest interest that she listened to his brief passage
+with her partner. At his final retort her tender heart was overcome with
+pity. He was poor, then, or at least he was allowed the use of no money.
+And all of him that was outside his pockets seemed so sane and so
+gentlemanly; it seemed a pity to let him lack a little sympathy.
+
+The Lady Alicia might be described as a becoming frock stuffed with
+sentiment. Through a pair of large blue eyes she drank in romance, and
+with the reddest and most undecided of lips she felt a vague desire to
+kiss something. At the end of the dance she managed by a series of little
+manoeuvres to find herself standing close to his elbow. She sighed twice,
+but he still seemed absorbed in his thoughts. Then with a heroic effort
+she summed up her courage, and said in a low and rather shaky voice,
+"You--you--you are unha--appy."
+
+Mr Beveridge turned and looked down on her with great interest. Her eyes
+met his for a moment and straightway sought the floor. Thus she saw
+nothing of a smile that came and went like the shadow of a puff of smoke.
+He took his hands out of his pockets, folded his arms, and, with an air of
+the deepest dejection, sighed heavily. She took courage and looked up
+again, and then, as he only gazed into space in the most romantically
+melancholy fashion and made no answer, she asked again very timidly,
+"Wh--what is the matter?"
+
+Without saying a word Mr Beveridge bent courteously and offered her his
+right arm. She took it with the most delicious trepidation, glancing round
+hurriedly to see whether the Countess noticed her. Another dance was just
+beginning, and in the general movement her mysterious acquaintance led her
+without observation to a seat in the window of a corridor. There he
+pressed her hand gently, stroked his long moustaches for a minute, and
+then said, with an air of reflection: "There are three ways of making a
+woman like one. I am slightly out of practice. Would you be kind enough to
+suggest a method of procedure?"
+
+Such a beginning was so wholly unexpected that Lady Alicia could only give
+a little gasp of consternation. Her companion, after pausing an instant
+for a reply, went on in the same tone, "I am aware that I have begun well.
+I attracted your attention, I elicited your sympathy, and I pressed your
+hand; but for the life of me I can't remember what I generally do next."
+
+Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of sympathy ready to be
+gulped down by this unfortunate gentleman, was only able to stammer, "I--I
+really don't know, Mr----"
+
+"Hamilton," said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. "At least that name belongs
+to me as much as anything can be said to in a world where my creditors
+claim my money and Dr Congleton my person."
+
+"You are confined and poor, you mean?" asked Lady Alicia, beginning to see
+her way again.
+
+"Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order, for if I had the
+wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should certainly cease to be
+confined."
+
+His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this, and Mr Beveridge
+continued, "To return to the delicate subject from which we strayed, what
+would you like me to do,--put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
+or turn my back on you?"
+
+"Are--are those the three ways you spoke of--to make women like you, I
+mean?" Lady Alicia ventured to ask, though she was beginning to wish the
+sofa was larger.
+
+"They are examples of the three classical methods: cuddling, humbugging,
+and piquing. Which do you prefer?"
+
+"Tell me about your--your troubles," she answered, gaining courage a
+little.
+
+"You belong to the sex which makes no mention of figs and spades," he
+rejoined; "but I understand you to mean that you prefer humbugging."
+
+He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly into Lady Alicia's
+blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent voice, "My boyhood was troubled
+and unhappy: no kind words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel
+stepfather, ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
+heartless stepmother."
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness that surprised
+herself, and a perspicacity that would have surprised her friends, asked,
+"How could they--I mean, were they _both_ step?"
+
+"Several steps," he replied; "in fact, quite a long journey."
+
+With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain satisfied; but as
+he had paused a second time, and seemed to be immersed in the study of his
+shoes, she inquired again, "You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
+mean----?"
+
+"Deformities," he corrected; "up to the age of fourteen years I could only
+walk sideways, and my hair parted in the middle."
+
+He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies seemed to her the most
+touching misfortunes she had ever heard of. She murmured gently, "Yes?"
+
+"As the years advanced," Mr Beveridge continued, "and I became more nearly
+the same weight as my stepfather, my life grew happier. It was decided to
+send me to college, so I was provided with an insufficient cheque, a
+complete set of plated forks, and three bath-towels, and despatched to the
+University of Oxford. At least I think that was the name of the
+corporation which took my money and endeavoured to restrict my habits,
+though, to confess the truth, my memory is not what it used to be. There I
+learned wisdom by the practice of folly--the most amusing and effective
+method. My tutor used to tell me I had some originality. I apologised for
+its presence in such a respectable institution, and undertook to pass an
+examination instead. I believe I succeeded: I certainly remember giving a
+dinner to celebrate something. Thereupon at my own expense the University
+inflicted a degree upon me, but I was shortly afterwards compensated by
+the death of my uncle and my accession to his estates. Having enjoyed a
+university education, and accordingly possessing a corrected and regulated
+sentiment, I was naturally inconsolable at the decease of this venerable
+relative, who for so long had shown a kindly interest in the poor orphan
+lad."
+
+He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia asked with great interest, "But
+your step-parents, you always had them, hadn't you?"
+
+"Never!" he replied, sadly.
+
+"Never?" she exclaimed in some bewilderment.
+
+"Certainly not often," he answered, "and oftener than not, never. If you
+had told me beforehand you wished to hear my history, I should have pruned
+my family tree into a more presentable shape. But if you will kindly tell
+me as I go along which of my relatives you disapprove of, and who you
+would like to be introduced, I shall arrange the plot to suit you."
+
+"I only wish to hear the true story, Mr Hamilton."
+
+"Fortescue," he corrected. "I certainly prefer to be called by one name at
+a time, but never by the same twice running."
+
+He smiled so agreeably as he said this that Lady Alicia, though puzzled
+and a little hurt, could not refrain from smiling back.
+
+"Let me hear the rest," she said.
+
+"It is no truer than the first part, but quite as entertaining. So, if you
+like, I shall endeavour to recall the series of painful episodes that
+brought me to Clankwood," he answered, very seriously.
+
+Lady Alicia settled herself comfortably into one corner of the sofa and
+prepared to feel affected. But at that moment the portly form of Dr
+Congleton appeared from the direction of the ballroom with a still more
+portly dowager on his arm.
+
+"My mother!" exclaimed Lady Alicia, rising quickly to her feet.
+
+"Indeed?" said Mr Beveridge, who still kept his seat. "She certainly looks
+handsome enough."
+
+This speech made Lady Alicia blush very becomingly, and the Countess
+looked at her sharply.
+
+"Where have you been, Alicia?"
+
+"The room was rather warm, mamma, and----"
+
+"In short, madam," interrupted Mr Beveridge, rising and bowing, "your
+charming daughter wished to study a lunatic at close quarters. I am mad,
+and I obligingly raved. Thus----" He ran one hand through his hair so as to
+make it fall over his eyes, blew out his cheeks, and uttering a yell,
+sprang high into the air, and descended in a sitting posture on the floor.
+
+"That, madam, is a very common symptom," he explained, with a smile,
+smoothing down his hair again, "as our friend Dr Congleton will tell you."
+
+Both the doctor and the Countess were too astonished to make any reply, so
+he turned again to Lady Alicia, and offering his arm, said, "Let me lead
+you back to our fellow-fools."
+
+"Is he safe?" whispered the Countess.
+
+"I--I believe so," replied Dr Congleton in some confusion; "but I shall
+have him watched more carefully."
+
+As they entered the room Mr Beveridge whispered, "Will you meet a poor
+lunatic again?" And the Lady Alicia pressed his arm.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+On the morning after the dance Dr Congleton summoned Dr Escott to his
+room.
+
+"Escott," he began, "we must keep a little sharper eye on Mr Beveridge."
+
+"Indeed, sir?" said Escott; "he seems to me harmless enough."
+
+"Nevertheless, he must be watched. Lady Grillyer was considerably alarmed
+by his conduct last night, and a client who has confided so many of her
+relatives to my care must be treated with the greatest regard. I receive
+pheasants at Christmas from no fewer than fourteen families of title, and
+my reputation for discretion is too valuable to be risked. When Mr
+Beveridge is not under your own eyes you must see that Moggridge always
+keeps him in sight."
+
+Accordingly Moggridge, a burly and seasoned attendant on refractory
+patients, was told off to keep an unobtrusive eye on that accomplished
+gentleman. His duties appeared light enough, for, as I have said, Mr
+Beveridge's eccentricities had hitherto been merely of the most playful
+nature.
+
+After luncheon on this same day he gave Escott twelve breaks and a beating
+at billiards, and then having borrowed and approved of one of his cigars,
+he strolled into the park. If he intended to escape observation, he
+certainly showed the most skilful strategy, for he dodged deviously
+through the largest trees, and at last, after a roundabout ramble, struck
+a sheltered walk that ran underneath the high, glass-decked outer wall. It
+was a sunny winter afternoon. The boughs were stripped, and the leaves lay
+littered on the walk or flickered and stirred through the grass. In this
+spot the high trees stood so close and the bare branches were so thick
+that there was still an air of quiet and seclusion where he paced and
+smoked. Every now and then he stopped and listened and looked at his
+watch, and as he walked backwards and forwards an amused smile would come
+and go.
+
+All at once he heard something move on the far side of the wall: he paused
+to make sure, and then he whistled, the sounds outside ceased, and in a
+moment something fell softly behind him. He turned quickly and snatched up
+a little buttonhole of flowers with a still smaller note tied to the
+stems.
+
+"An uncommonly happy idea," he said to himself, looking at the missive
+with the air of one versed in these matters. Then he leisurely proceeded
+to unfold and read the note.
+
+"To my friend," he read, "if I may call you a friend, since I have known
+you only _such a short time_--may I? This is just to express my sympathy,
+and although I cannot express it well, still perhaps you will forgive my
+feeble effort!!"
+
+At this point, just as he was regarding the double mark of exclamation
+with reminiscent entertainment, a plaintive voice from the other side of
+the wall cried in a stage whisper, "Have you got it?"
+
+Mr Beveridge composed his face, and heaving his shoulders to his ears in
+the effort, gave vent to a prodigious sigh.
+
+"A million thanks, my fairest and kindest of friends," he answered in the
+same tone. "I read it now: I drink it in, I----"
+
+He kissed the back of his hand loudly two or three times, sighed again,
+and continued his reading.
+
+"I wish I could help you," it ran, "but I am afraid I cannot, as the world
+is _so censorious_, is it not? So you must accept a friend's sympathy if
+it does not seem to you too bold and forward of her!!! Perhaps we may meet
+again, as I sometimes go to Clankwood. _Au revoir._--Your sympathetic
+well-wisher. A. A. F."
+
+He folded it up and put it in his waistcoat-pocket, then he exclaimed in
+an audible aside, his voice shaking with the most affecting thrill,
+"_Perhaps_ we may meet again! Only _perhaps!_ O Alicia!" And then dropping
+again into a stage whisper, he asked, "Are you still there, Lady Alicia?"
+
+A timorous voice replied, "Yes, Mr Fortescue. But I really _must_ go now!"
+
+"Now? So soon?"
+
+"I have stayed too long already."
+
+"'Tis better to have stayed too long than never to wear stays at all,"
+replied Mr Beveridge.
+
+There was no response for a moment. Then a low voice, a little hurt and a
+good deal puzzled, asked with evident hesitation, "What--what did you say,
+Mr Fortescue?"
+
+"I said that Lady Alicia's stay cannot be too long," he answered, softly.
+
+"But--but what good can I be?"
+
+"The good you cannot help being."
+
+There was another moment's pause, then the voice whispered, "I don't quite
+understand you."
+
+"My Alicia understands me not!" Mr Beveridge soliloquised in another
+audible aside. Aloud, or rather in a little lower tone, he answered, "I am
+friendless, poor, and imprisoned. What is the good in your staying? Ah,
+Lady Alicia! But why should I detain you? Go, fair friend! Go and forget
+poor Francis Beveridge!"
+
+There came a soft, surprised answer, "Francis Beveridge?"
+
+"Alas! you have guessed my secret. Yes, that is the name of the unhappiest
+of mortals."
+
+As he spoke these melancholy words he threw away the stump of his cigar,
+took another from his case, and bit off the end.
+
+The voice replied, "I shall remember it--among my friends."
+
+Mr Beveridge struck a match.
+
+"H'sh! Whatever is that?" cried the voice in alarm.
+
+"A heart breaking," he replied, lighting his cigar.
+
+"Don't talk like that," said the voice. "It--it distresses me." There was a
+break in the voice.
+
+"And, alas! between distress and consolation there are fifteen
+perpendicular feet of stone and mortar and the relics of twelve hundred
+bottles of Bass," he replied.
+
+"Perhaps,"--the voice hesitated--"perhaps we may see each other some day."
+
+"Say to-morrow at four o'clock," he suggested, pertinently. "If you could
+manage to be passing up the drive at that hour."
+
+There was another pause.
+
+"Perhaps----" the voice began.
+
+At that moment he heard the sharp crack of a branch behind him, and
+turning instantly he spied the uncompromising countenance of Moggridge
+peering round a tree about twenty paces distant. Lack of presence of mind
+and quick decision were not amongst Mr Beveridge's failings. He struck a
+theatrical attitude at once, and began in a loud voice, gazing up at the
+tops of the trees, "He comes! A stranger comes! Yes, my fair friend, we
+may meet again. _Au revoir_, but only for a while! Ah, that a breaking
+heart should be lit for a moment and then the lamp be put out!"
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge was walking towards him.
+
+"Ha, Moggridge!" he cried. "Good day."
+
+"Time you was goin' in, sir," said Moggridge, stolidly; and to himself he
+muttered, "He's crackeder than I thought, a-shoutin' and a-ravin' to
+hisself. Just as well I kept a heye on 'im."
+
+Like most clever people, Mr Beveridge generally followed the line of least
+resistance. He slipped his arm through his attendant's, shouted a farewell
+apparently to some imaginary divinity overhead, and turned towards the
+house.
+
+"This is an unexpected pleasure," he remarked.
+
+"Yes, sir," replied Moggridge.
+
+"Funny thing your turning up. Out for a walk, I suppose?"
+
+"For a stroll, sir--that's to say----" he stopped.
+
+"That on these chilly afternoons the dear good doctor is afraid of my
+health?"
+
+"That's kind o' it, sir."
+
+"But of course I'm not supposed to notice anything, eh?"
+
+Moggridge looked a trifle uncomfortable and was discreetly silent. Mr
+Beveridge smiled at his own perspicacity, and then began in the most
+friendly tone, "Well, I feel flattered that so stout a man has been told
+off to take care of me. What an arm you've got, man."
+
+"Pretty fair, sir," said Moggridge, complacently.
+
+"And I am thankful, too," continued Mr Beveridge, "that you're a man of
+some sense. There are a lot of fools in the world, Moggridge, and I'm
+somewhat of an epicure in the matter of heads."
+
+"Mine 'as been considered pretty sharp," Moggridge admitted, with a
+gratified relaxation of his wooden countenance.
+
+"Have a cigar?" his patient asked, taking out his case.
+
+"Thank you, sir, I don't mind if I do."
+
+"You will find it a capital smoke. I don't throw them away on every one."
+
+Moggridge, completely thawed, lit his cigar and slackened his pace, for
+such frank appreciation of his merits was rare in a critical world.
+
+"You can perhaps believe, Moggridge," said Mr Beveridge, reflectively,
+"that one doesn't often have the chance of talking confidentially to a man
+of sense in Clankwood."
+
+"No, sir, I should himagine not."
+
+"And so one has sometimes to talk to oneself."
+
+This was said so sadly that Moggridge began to feel uncomfortably
+affected.
+
+"Ah, Moggridge, one cannot always keep silence, even when one least wants
+to be overheard. Have you ever been in love, Moggridge?"
+
+The burly keeper changed countenance a little at this embarrassingly
+direct question, and answered diffidently, "Well, sir, to be sure men is
+men and woming will be woming."
+
+"The deuce, they will!" replied Mr Beveridge, cordially; "and it's rather
+hard to forget 'em, eh?"
+
+"Hindeed it is, sir."
+
+"I remembered this afternoon, but I should like you as a good chap to
+forget. You won't mention my moment of weakness, Moggridge?"
+
+"No, sir," said Moggridge, stoutly. "I suppose I hought to report what I
+sees, but I won't this time."
+
+"Thank you," said Mr Beveridge, pressing his arm. "I had, you know, a
+touch of the sun in India, and I sometimes talk when I shouldn't. Though,
+after all, that isn't a very uncommon complaint."
+
+And so it happened that no rumour prejudicial either to his sanity or to
+the progress of his friendship with the Lady Alicia reached the ears of
+the authorities.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+Towards four o'clock on the following afternoon Mr Beveridge and Moggridge
+were walking leisurely down the long drive leading from the mansion of
+Clankwood to the gate that opened on the humdrum outer world. Finding that
+an inelastic matter of yards was all the tether he could hope for, Mr
+Beveridge thought it best to take the bull by the horns, and make a
+companion of this necessity. So he kept his attendant by his side, and
+regaled him for some time with a series of improbable reminiscences and
+tolerable cigars, till at last, round a bend of the avenue, a lady on
+horseback came into view. As she drew a little nearer he stopped with an
+air of great surprise and pleasure.
+
+"I believe, Moggridge, that must be Lady Alicia a Fyre!" he exclaimed.
+
+"It looks huncommon like her, sir," replied Moggridge.
+
+"I must really speak to her. She was"--and Mr Beveridge assumed his
+inimitable air of manly sentiment--"she was one of my poor mother's dearest
+friends. Do you mind, Moggridge, falling behind a little? In fact, if you
+could step behind a tree and wait here for me, it would be pleasanter for
+us both. We used to meet under happier circumstances, and, don't you know,
+it might distress her to be reminded of my misfortunes."
+
+Such a reasonable request, beseechingly put by so fine a gentleman, could
+scarcely be refused. Moggridge retired behind the trees that lined the
+avenue, and Mr Beveridge advanced alone to meet the Lady Alicia. She
+blushed very becomingly as he raised his hat.
+
+"I hardly expected to see you to-day, Mr Beveridge," she began.
+
+"I, on the other hand, have been thinking of nothing else," he replied.
+
+She blushed still deeper, but responded a little reprovingly, "It's very
+polite of you to say so, but----"
+
+"Not a bit," said he. "I have a dozen equally well-turned sentences at my
+disposal, and, they tell me, a most deluding way of saying them."
+
+Suddenly out of her depth again, poor Lady Alicia could only strike out at
+random.
+
+"Who tell you?" she managed to say.
+
+"First, so far as my poor memory goes, my mother's lady's-maid informed me
+of the fact; then I think my sister's governess," he replied, ticking off
+his informants on his fingers with a half-abstracted air. "After that came
+a number of more or less reliable individuals, and lastly the Lady Alicia
+a Fyre."
+
+"Me? I'm sure I never said----"
+
+"None of them ever _said_," he interrupted.
+
+"But what have I done, then?" she asked, tightening her reins, and making
+her horse fidget a foot or two farther away.
+
+"You have begun to be a most adorable friend to a most unfortunate man."
+
+Still Lady Alicia looked at him a little dubiously, and only said, "I--I
+hope I'm not too friendly."
+
+"There are no degrees in friendly," he replied. "There are only aloofly,
+friendly, and more than friendly."
+
+"I--I think I ought to be going on, Mr Beveridge."
+
+That experienced diplomatist perceived that it was necessary to further
+embellish himself.
+
+"Are you fond of soldiers?" he asked, abruptly.
+
+"I beg your pardon?" she said in considerable bewilderment.
+
+"Does a red coat, a medal, and a brass band appeal to you? Are you apt to
+be interested in her Majesty's army?"
+
+"I generally like soldiers," she admitted, still much surprised at the
+turn the conversation had taken.
+
+"Then I was a soldier."
+
+"But--really?"
+
+"I held a commission in one of the crackest cavalry regiments," he began
+dramatically, and yet with a great air of sincerity. "I was considered one
+of the most promising officers in the mess. It nearly broke my heart to
+leave the service."
+
+He turned away his head. Lady Alicia was visibly affected.
+
+"I am so sorry!" she murmured.
+
+Still keeping his face turned away, he held out his hand and she pressed
+it gently.
+
+"Sorrow cannot give me my freedom," he said.
+
+"If there is anything I can do----" she began.
+
+"Dismount," he said, looking up at her tenderly.
+
+Lady Alicia never quite knew how it happened, but certainly she found
+herself standing on the ground, and the next moment Mr Beveridge was in
+her place.
+
+"An old soldier," he exclaimed, gaily; "I can't resist the temptation of
+having a canter." And with that he started at a gallop towards the gate.
+
+With a blasphemous ejaculation Moggridge sprang from behind his tree, and
+set off down the drive in hot pursuit.
+
+Lady Alicia screamed, "Stop! stop! Francis--I mean, Mr Beveridge; stop,
+please!"
+
+But the favorite of the crack regiment, despite the lady's saddle, sat his
+steed well, and rapidly left cries and footsteps far behind. The lodge was
+nearly half a mile away, and as the avenue wound between palisades of old
+trees, the shouts became muffled, and when he looked over his shoulder he
+saw in the stretch behind him no sign of benefactress or pursuer. By
+continued exhortations and the point of his penknife he kept his horse at
+full stretch; round the next bend he knew he should see the gates.
+
+"Five to one on the blank things being shut," he muttered.
+
+He swept round the curve, and there ahead of him he saw the gates grimly
+closed, and at the lodge door a dismounted groom, standing beside his
+horse.
+
+Only remarking "Damn!" he reined up, turned, and trotted quietly back
+again. Presently he met Moggridge, red in the face, muddy as to his
+trousers, and panting hard.
+
+"Nice little nag this, Moggridge," he remarked, airily.
+
+"Nice sweat you've give me," rejoined his attendant, wrathfully.
+
+"You don't mean to say you ran after me?"
+
+"I does mean to say," Moggridge replied grimly, seizing the reins.
+
+"Want to lead him? Very well--it makes us look quite like the Derby winner
+coming in."
+
+"Derby loser you means, thanks to them gates bein' shut."
+
+"Gates shut? Were they? I didn't happen to notice."
+
+"No, o' course not," said Moggridge, sarcastically; "that there sunstroke
+you got in India prevented you, I suppose?"
+
+"Have a cigar?"
+
+To this overture Moggridge made no reply. Mr Beveridge laughed and
+continued lightly, "I had no idea you were so fond of exercise. I'd have
+given you a lead all round the park if I'd known."
+
+"You'd 'ave given me a lead all round the county if them gates 'ad been
+open."
+
+"It might have been difficult to stop this fiery animal," Mr Beveridge
+admitted. "But now, Moggridge, the run is over. I think I can take Lady
+Alicia's horse back to her myself."
+
+Moggridge smiled grimly.
+
+"You won't let go?"
+
+"No fears."
+
+Mr Beveridge put his hand behind his back and silently drove the penknife
+a quarter of an inch into his mount's hind quarters. In an instant his
+keeper felt himself being lifted nearly off his feet, and in another
+actually deposited on his face. Off went the accomplished horseman again
+at top speed, but this time back to Lady Alicia. He saw her standing by
+the side of the drive, her handkerchief to her eyes, a penitent and
+disconsolate little figure. When she heard him coming, she dried her eyes
+and looked up, but her face was still tearful.
+
+"Well, I am back from my ride," he remarked in a perfectly usual voice,
+dismounting as he spoke.
+
+"The man!" she cried, "where is that dreadful man?"
+
+"What man?" he asked in some surprise.
+
+"The man who chased you."
+
+Mr Beveridge laughed aloud, at which Lady Alicia took fresh refuge in her
+handkerchief.
+
+"He follows on foot," he replied.
+
+"Did he catch you? Oh, why didn't you escape altogether?" she sobbed.
+
+Mr Beveridge looked at her with growing interest.
+
+"I had begun to forget my petticoat psychology," he reflected (aloud,
+after his unconventional fashion).
+
+"Oh, here he comes," she shuddered. "All blood! Oh, what have you done to
+him?"
+
+"On my honour, nothing,--I merely haven't washed his face."
+
+By this time Moggridge was coming close upon them.
+
+"You won't forget a poor soldier?" said Mr Beveridge in a lower voice.
+
+There was no reply.
+
+"A _poor_ soldier," he added, with a sigh, glancing at her from the corner
+of his eye. "So poor that even if I had got out, I could only have ridden
+till I dropped."
+
+"Would you accept----?" she began, timidly.
+
+"What day?" he interrupted, hurriedly.
+
+"Tuesday," she hesitated.
+
+"Four o'clock, again. Same place as before. When I whistle throw it over
+at once."
+
+Before they had time to say more, Moggridge, blood- and gravel-stained,
+came up.
+
+"It's all right, miss," he said, coming between them; "I'll see that he
+plays no more of 'is tricks. There's nothin' to be afrightened of."
+
+"Stand back!" she cried; "don't come near me!"
+
+Moggridge was too staggered at this outburst to say a word.
+
+"Stand away!" she said, and the bewildered attendant stood away. She
+turned to Mr Beveridge.
+
+"Now, will you help me up?"
+
+She mounted lightly, said a brief farewell, and, forgetting all about the
+call at Clankwood she had ostensibly come to pay, turned her horse's head
+towards the lodge.
+
+"Well, I'm blowed!" said Moggridge.
+
+"They do blow one," his patient assented.
+
+Naturally enough the story of this equestrian adventure soon ran through
+Clankwood. The exact particulars, however, were a little hard to collect,
+for while Moggridge supplied many minute and picturesque details,
+illustrating his own activity and presence of mind and the imminent peril
+of the Lady Alicia, Mr Beveridge recounted an equally vivid story of a
+runaway horse recovered by himself to its fair owner's unbounded
+gratitude. Official opinion naturally accepted the official account, and
+for the next few days Mr Beveridge became an object of considerable
+anxiety and mistrust.
+
+"I can't make the man out," said Sherlaw to Escott. "I had begun to think
+there was nothing much the matter with him."
+
+"No more there is," replied Escott. "His memory seems to me to have
+suffered from something, and he simply supplies its place in conversation
+from his imagination, and in action from the inspiration of the moment.
+The methods of society are too orthodox for such an aberration, and as his
+friends doubtless pay a handsome fee to keep him here, old Congers labels
+him mad and locks the door on him."
+
+A day or two afterwards official opinion was a little disturbed. Lady
+Alicia, in reply to anxious inquiries, gave a third version of the
+adventure, from which nothing in particular could be gathered except that
+nothing in particular had happened.
+
+"What do you make of this, Escott?" asked Dr Congleton, laying her note
+before his assistant.
+
+"Merely that a woman wrote it."
+
+"Hum! I suppose that _is_ the explanation."
+
+Upon which the doctor looked profound and went to lunch.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+"Two five-pound notes, half-a-sovereign, and seven and sixpence in
+silver," said Mr Beveridge to himself. "Ah, and a card."
+
+On the card was written, "From a friend, if you will accept it. A."
+
+He was standing under the wall, in the secluded walk, holding a little
+lady's purse in his hand, and listening to two different footsteps. One
+little pair of feet were hurrying away on the farther side of the high
+wall, another and larger were approaching him at a run.
+
+"Wot's he bin up to now, I wonder," Moggridge panted to himself--for the
+second pair of feet belonged to him. "Shamming nose-bleed and sending me
+in for an 'andkerchief, and then sneaking off here by 'isself!"
+
+"What a time you've been," said Mr Beveridge, slipping the purse with its
+contents into his pocket. "I was so infernally cold I had to take a little
+walk. Got the handkerchief?"
+
+In silence and with a suspicious solemnity Moggridge handed him the
+handkerchief, and they turned back for the house.
+
+"Now for a balloon," Mr Beveridge reflected.
+
+Certainly it was cold. The frost nipped sharp that night, and next morning
+there were ice gardens on the windows, and the park lay white all through
+the winter sunshine.
+
+By evening the private lake was reported to be bearing, and the next day
+it hummed under the first skaters. Hardly necessary to say Mr Beveridge
+was among the earliest of them, or that he was at once the object of
+general admiration and envy. He traced "vines" and "Q's," and performed
+wonderful feats on one leg all morning. At lunch he was in the best of
+spirits, and was off again at once to the ice.
+
+When he reached the lake in the afternoon the first person he spied was
+Lady Alicia, and five minutes afterwards they were sailing off together
+hand in hand.
+
+"I knew you would come to-day," he remarked.
+
+"How _could_ you have known? It was by the merest chance I happened to
+come."
+
+"It has always been by the merest chance that any of them have ever come."
+
+"Who have ever come?" she inquired, with a vague feeling that he had said
+something he ought not to have, and that she was doing the same.
+
+"Many things," he smiled, "including purses. Which reminds me that I am
+eternally your debtor."
+
+She blushed and said, "I hope you didn't mind."
+
+"Not much," he answered, candidly. "In my present circumstances a
+five-pound note is more acceptable than a caress."
+
+The Lady Alicia again remembered the maidenly proprieties, and tried to
+change the subject.
+
+"What beautiful ice!" she said.
+
+"The question now is," he continued, paying no heed to this diversion,
+"what am I to do next?"
+
+"What do you mean?" she asked a little faintly, realising dimly that she
+was being regarded as a fellow-conspirator in some unlawful project.
+
+"The wall is high, there is bottle-glass on the top, and I shall find it
+hard to bring away a fresh pair of trousers, and probably draughty if I
+don't. The gates are always kept closed, and it isn't worth any one's
+while to open them for L10, 17s. 6d., less the price of a first-class
+ticket up to town. What are we to do?"
+
+"We?" she gasped.
+
+"You and I," he explained.
+
+"But--but I can't _possibly_ do anything."
+
+" 'Can't possibly' is a phrase I have learned to misunderstand."
+
+"Really, Mr Beveridge, I mustn't do anything."
+
+"Mustn't is an invariable preface to a sin. Never use it; it's a
+temptation in itself."
+
+"It wouldn't be right," she said, with quite a show of firmness.
+
+He looked at her a little curiously. For a moment he almost seemed
+puzzled. Then he pressed her hand and asked tenderly, "Why not?"
+
+And in a half-audible aside he added, "That's the correct move, I think."
+
+"What did you say?" she asked.
+
+"I said, 'Why not?' " he answered, with increasing tenderness.
+
+"But you said something else."
+
+"I added a brief prayer for pity."
+
+Lady Alicia sighed and repeated a little less firmly. "It wouldn't be
+right of me, Mr Beveridge."
+
+"But what would be wrong?"
+
+This was said with even more fervour.
+
+"My conscience--we are very particular, you know."
+
+"Who are 'we'?"
+
+"Papa is _very_ strict High Church."
+
+An idea seemed to strike Mr Beveridge, for he ruminated in silence.
+
+"I asked Mr Candles--our curate, you know," Lady Alicia continued, with a
+heroic effort to make her position clear.
+
+"You told him!" he exclaimed.
+
+"Oh, I didn't say who it was--I mean what it was I thought of doing--I mean
+the temptation--that is, the possibility. And he said it was very kind of
+me to think of it; but I mustn't do anything, and he advised me to read a
+book he gave me, and--and I mustn't think of it, really, Mr Beveridge."
+
+To himself Mr Beveridge repeated under his breath, "Archbishops, bishops,
+deacons, curates, fast in Lent, and an anthem after the Creed. I think I
+remember enough to pass."
+
+Then he assumed a very serious face, and said aloud, "Your scruples do
+your heart credit. They have given me an insight into your deep and sweet
+character, which emboldens me to make a confession."
+
+He stopped skating, folded his arms, and continued unblushingly, "I was
+educated for the Church, but the prejudices of my parents, the immature
+scepticism of youth, and some uncertainty about obtaining my
+archbishopric, induced me in an unfortunate moment, which I never ceased
+to bitterly regret, to quit my orders."
+
+"You are in orders?" she exclaimed.
+
+"I was in several. I cancelled them, and entered the Navy instead."
+
+"The Navy?" she asked, excusably bewildered by these rapid changes of
+occupation.
+
+"For five years I was never ashore."
+
+"But," she hesitated--"but you said you were in the Army."
+
+Mr Beveridge gave her a look full of benignant compassion that made her,
+she did not quite know why, feel terribly abashed.
+
+"My regiment was quartered at sea," he condescended to explain. "But in
+time my conscience awoke. I announced my intention of resuming my charge.
+My uncle was furious. My enemies were many. I was seized, thrown into this
+prison-house, and now my only friend fails me."
+
+They were both silent. She ventured once to glance up at his face, and it
+seemed to her that his eyes were moist--though perhaps it was that her own
+were a little dim.
+
+"Let us skate on," he said abruptly, with a fine air of resignation.
+
+"By the way," he suddenly added, "I was extremely High Church, in fact
+almost freezingly high."
+
+For five minutes they skated in silence, then Lady Alicia began softly,
+"Supposing you--you went away----"
+
+"What is the use of talking of it?" he exclaimed, melodramatically. "Let
+me forget my short-lived hopes!"
+
+"You _have_ a friend," she said, slowly.
+
+"A friend who tantalises me by 'supposings'!"
+
+"But supposing you did, Mr Beveridge, would you go back to your--did you
+say you had a parish?"
+
+"I had: a large, populous, and happy parish. It is my one dream to sit
+once more on its council and direct my curate."
+
+"Of course that makes a difference. Mr Candles didn't know all this."
+
+They had come by this time to the corner of a little island that lay not
+far from the shore; in the channel ahead a board labelled "Danger" marked
+a hidden spring; behind them the shining ice was almost bare of skaters,
+for all but Dr Escott seemed to be leaving; on the bank they could see
+Moggridge prowling about in the gathering dusk, a vigilant reminder of
+captivity. Mr Beveridge took the whole scene in with, it is to be feared,
+a militant rather than an episcopal eye. Then he suddenly asked, "Are you
+alone?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"You drive back?"
+
+"Ye--es."
+
+He took out his watch and made a brief calculation.
+
+"Go now, call at Clankwood or do anything else you like, and pass down the
+drive again at a quarter to five."
+
+This sudden pinning of her irresolution almost took Lady Alicia's breath
+away.
+
+"But I never said----" she began.
+
+"My dear friend," he interrupted, "in the hour of action only a fool ever
+says. Come on."
+
+And while she still hesitated they were off again.
+
+"But----" she tried to expostulate.
+
+"My dearest friend," he whispered, "and my dear old vicarage!"
+
+He gave her no time to protest. Her skates were off, she was on her way to
+her carriage, and he was striking out again for the middle of the lake
+before she had time to collect her wits.
+
+He took out his watch and looked at the time. It was nearly a quarter-past
+four. Then he came up to Escott, who by this time was the only other soul
+on the ice.
+
+"About time we were going in," said Escott.
+
+"Give me half-an-hour more. I'll show you how to do that vine you
+admired."
+
+"All right," assented the doctor.
+
+A minute or two later Mr Beveridge, as if struck by a sudden reflection,
+exclaimed, "By Jove, there's that poor devil Moggridge freezing to death
+on shore. Can't you manage to look after so dangerous a lunatic yourself?
+It is his tea-time, too."
+
+"Hallo, so he is," replied Escott; "I'll send him up."
+
+And so there were only left the two men on the ice.
+
+For a little the lesson went on, and presently, leaving the doctor to
+practise, Mr Beveridge skated away by himself. He first paused opposite a
+seat on the bank over which hung Dr Escott's great fur coat. This
+spectacle appeared to afford him peculiar pleasure. Then he looked at his
+watch. It was half-past four. He shut the watch with a click, threw a
+glance at his pupil, and struck out for the island. If the doctor had been
+looking, he might have seen him round it in the gloaming.
+
+Dr Escott, leaning far on his outside edge, met him as he returned.
+
+"What's that under your coat?" he asked.
+
+"A picture I intend to ask your opinion on presently," replied Mr
+Beveridge; and he added, with his most charming air, "But now, before we
+go in, let me give you a ride on one of these chairs, doctor."
+
+They started off, the pace growing faster and faster, and presently Dr
+Escott saw that they were going behind the island.
+
+"Look out for the spring!" he cried.
+
+"It must be bearing now," replied Mr Beveridge, striking out harder than
+ever; "they have taken away the board."
+
+"All right," said the doctor, "on you go."
+
+As he spoke he felt a violent push, and the chair, slewing round as it
+went, flew on its course unguided. Mr Beveridge's skates rasped on the ice
+with a spray of white powder as he stopped himself suddenly. Ahead of him
+there was a rending crack, and Dr Escott and his chair disappeared. Mr
+Beveridge laughed cheerfully, and taking from under his coat a board with
+the legend "Danger" printed in large characters across its face, he placed
+it beside the jagged hole.
+
+"Here is the picture, doctor," he said, as a dripping, gasping head came
+up for the second time. "I must ask a thousand pardons for this--shall I
+say, liberty? But, as you know, I'm off my head. Good night. Let me
+recommend a hot drink when you come out. There are only five feet of
+water, so you won't drown." And with that he skated rapidly away.
+
+Escott had a glimpse of him vanishing round the corner of the island, and
+then the ice broke again, and down he went. Four, five, six times he made
+a desperate effort to get out, and every time the thin ice tore under his
+hands, and he slipped back again. By the seventh attempt he had broken his
+way to the thicker sheet; he got one leg up, slipped, got it up again, and
+at last, half numbed and wholly breathless, he was crawling circumspectly
+away. When at last he ventured to rise to his feet, he skated with all the
+speed he could make to the seat where he had left his coat. A pair of
+skates lay there instead, but the coat had vanished. Dr Escott's
+philosophical estimate of Mr Beveridge became considerably modified.
+
+"Thank the Lord, he can't get out of the grounds," he said to himself;
+"what a dangerous devil he is! But he'll be sorry for this performance, or
+I'm mistaken."
+
+When he arrived at the house his first inquiries were for his tutor in the
+art of vine-cutting, and he was rather surprised to hear that he had not
+yet returned, for he only imagined himself the victim of a peculiarly
+ill-timed practical joke.
+
+Men with lanterns were sent out to search the park; and still there was no
+sign of Mr Beveridge. Inquiries were made at the lodge, but the gatekeeper
+could swear that only a single carriage had passed through. Dr Congleton
+refused at first to believe that he could possibly have got out.
+
+"Our arrangements are perfect,--the thing's absurd," he said, peremptorily.
+
+"That there man, sir," replied Moggridge, who had been summoned, "is the
+slipperiest customer as ever I seed. 'E's hout, sir, I believe."
+
+"We might at least try the stations," suggested Escott, who had by this
+time changed, and indulged in the hot drink recommended.
+
+The doctor began to be a little shaken.
+
+"Well, well," said he, "I'll send a man to each of the three stations
+within walking distance; and whether he's out or in, we'll have him by
+to-morrow morning. I've always taken care that he had no money in his
+pockets."
+
+But what is a doctor's care against a woman's heart? For many to-morrows
+Clankwood had to lament the loss of the gifted Francis Beveridge.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+At sixteen minutes to five Mr Beveridge stood by the side of the Clankwood
+Avenue, comfortably wrapped in Dr Escort's fur coat, and smoking with the
+greatest relish one of Dr Escott's undeniable cigars.
+
+It was almost dark, the air bit keen, the dim park with its population of
+black trees was filled with a frosty, eager stillness. All round the
+invisible wall hemmed him in, the ten pounds, seventeen shillings, and
+sixpence lay useless in his pocket till that was past, and his one hope
+depended on a woman. But Mr Beveridge was an amateur in the sex, and he
+smiled complacently as he smoked.
+
+He had waited barely three minutes when the quick clatter of a pair of
+horses fell on his ears, and presently the lights of a carriage and pair,
+driving swiftly away from Clankwood, raked the drive on either side. As
+they rattled up to him he gave a shout to the coachman to stop, and
+stepped right in front of the horses. With something that sounded unlike a
+blessing, the pair were thrown almost on their haunches to check them in
+time. Never stopping to explain, he threw open the door and sprang in; the
+coachman, hearing no sound of protest, whipped up again, and Mr Beveridge
+found himself rolling through the park of Clankwood in the Countess of
+Grillyer's carriage with a very timid little figure by his side. Even in
+that moment of triumphant excitement the excellence of his manners was
+remarkable: the first thing he said was, "Do you mind smoking?"
+
+In her confusion of mind Lady Alicia could only reply "Oh no," and not
+till some time afterwards did she remember that the odour of a cigar was
+clinging and the Countess's nose unusually sensitive.
+
+After this first remark he leaned back in silence, gradually filling the
+carriage with a blue-grey cloud, and looking out of the windows first on
+one side and then on the other. They passed quickly through the lines of
+trees and the open spaces of frosty park-land, they drew up at the lodge
+for a moment, he heard his prison gates swing open, the harness jingled
+and the hoofs began to clatter again, a swift vision of lighted windows
+and a man looking on them incuriously swept by, and then they were rolling
+over a country road between hedgerows and under the free stars.
+
+It was the Lady Alicia who spoke first.
+
+"I never thought you would really come," she said.
+
+"I have been waiting for that remark," he replied, with his most
+irresistible smile; "now for some more practical conversation."
+
+As he did not immediately begin this conversation himself, her curiosity
+overcame her, and she asked, "How did you manage to get out?"
+
+"As my friend Dr Escott offered no opposition, I walked away."
+
+"Did he really let you?"
+
+"He never even expostulated."
+
+"Then--then it's all right?" she said, with an inexplicable sensation of
+disappointment.
+
+"Perfectly--so far."
+
+"But--didn't they object?"
+
+"Not yet," he replied; "objections to my movements are generally made
+after they have been performed."
+
+Somehow she felt immensely relieved at this hint of opposition.
+
+"I'm so glad you got away," she whispered, and then repented in a flutter.
+
+"Not more so than I am," he answered, pressing her hand.
+
+"And now," he added, "I should like to know how near Ashditch Junction you
+propose to take me."
+
+"Where are you going to, Mr Beveridge?"
+
+The "Mr Beveridge" was thrown in as a corrective to the hand-pressure.
+
+"To London; where else, my Alicia? With L10, 17s. 6d. in my pocket, I
+shall be able to eat at least three good dinners, and, by the third of
+them, if I haven't fallen on my feet it will be the first time I have
+descended so unluckily."
+
+"But," she asked, considerably disconcerted, "I thought you were going
+back to your parish."
+
+For a moment he too seemed a trifle put about. Then he replied readily,
+"So I am, as soon as I have purchased the necessary outfit, restocked my
+ecclesiastical library, and called on my bishop."
+
+She felt greatly relieved at this justification of her share in the
+adventure.
+
+"Drop me at the nearest point to the station," he said.
+
+"I am afraid," she began--"I mean I think you had better get out soon. The
+first road on the right will take you straight there, and we had better
+not pass it."
+
+"Then I must bid you farewell," and he sighed most effectively. "Farewell,
+my benefactress, my dear Alicia! Shall I ever see you, shall I ever hear
+of you again?"
+
+"I might--I might just write once; if you will answer it: I mean if you
+would care to hear from such a----"
+
+She found it difficult to finish, and prudently stopped.
+
+"Thanks," he replied cheerfully; "do,--I shall live in hopes. I'd better
+stop the carriage now."
+
+He let down the window, when she said hastily, "But I don't know your
+address."
+
+He reflected for an instant. "Care of the Archbishop of York will always
+find me," he replied; and as if unwilling to let his emotion be observed,
+he immediately put his head out of the window and called on the coachman
+to stop.
+
+"Good-bye," he whispered, tenderly, squeezing her fingers with one hand
+and opening the door with the other.
+
+"Don't quite forget me," she whispered back.
+
+"Never!" he replied, and was in the act of getting out when he suddenly
+turned, and exclaimed, "I must be more out of practice than I thought; I
+had almost forgotten the protested salute."
+
+And without further preamble the Lady Alicia found herself kissed at last.
+
+He jumped out and shut the door, and the carriage with its faint halo
+clattered into the darkness.
+
+"They are wonderfully alike," he reflected.
+
+About twenty minutes later he walked leisurely into Ashditch Junction, and
+having singled out the station-master, he accosted him with an air of
+beneficient consideration and inquired how soon he could catch a train for
+London.
+
+It appeared that the up express was not due for nearly three-quarters of
+an hour.
+
+"A little too long to wait," he said to himself, as he turned up the
+collar of his purloined fur coat to keep out the cold, and picked another
+cigar from its rightful owner's case.
+
+By way of further defying the temperature and cementing his acquaintance
+with the station-master, he offered to regale that gratified official with
+such refreshments as the station bar provided. In the consumption of
+whiskies-and-sodas (a beverage difficult to obtain in any quantity at
+Clankwood) Mr Beveridge showed himself as accomplished as in every other
+feat. In thirty-five minutes he had despatched no fewer than six, besides
+completely winning the station-master's heart. As he had little more than
+five minutes now to wait, he bade a genial farewell to the lady behind the
+bar, and started to purchase his ticket.
+
+Hardly had he left the door of the refreshment-room when he perceived an
+uncomfortably familiar figure just arrived, breathless with running, on
+the opposite platform. The light of a lamp fell on his shining face: it
+was Moggridge!
+
+A stout heart might be forgiven for sinking at the sight, but Mr Beveridge
+merely turned to his now firm friends and said with his easiest air, "On
+the opposite platform I perceive one of my runaway lunatics. Bring a
+couple of stout porters as quickly as you can, for he is a person of much
+strength and address. My name," he drew a card-case from the pocket of his
+fur coat, "is, as you see, Dr Escott of Clankwood."
+
+Meanwhile Moggridge, after hurriedly investigating the platform he was on,
+suddenly spied a tall fur-coated figure on the opposite side. Without a
+moment's hesitation he sprang on to the rails, and had just mounted the
+other side as the station-master and two porters appeared.
+
+Seeing his allies by his side Mr Beveridge never said a word, but,
+throwing off his hat, he lowered his head, charged his keeper, and picking
+him up by the knees threw him heavily on his back. Before he had a chance
+of recovering himself the other three were seated on his chest employed in
+winding a coil of rope round and round his prostrate form.
+
+Two minutes later Moggridge was sitting bound hand and foot in the booking
+office, addressing an amused audience in a strain of perhaps excusable
+exasperation, which however merely served to impress the Ashditch
+officials with a growing sense of their address in capturing so dangerous
+a lunatic. In the middle of this entertaining scene the London express
+steamed in, and Mr Beveridge, courteously thanking the station-master for
+his assistance, stepped into a first-class carriage.
+
+"I should be much obliged," he said, leaning on the door of his
+compartment and blowing the smoke of Dr Escott's last Havannah lightly
+from his lips, "if you would be kind enough to keep that poor fellow in
+the station till to-morrow. It is rather too late to send him back now.
+Good night, and many thanks."
+
+He pressed a coin into the station-master's hand, which that disappointed
+official only discovered on emptying his pockets at night to be an
+ordinary sixpence, the guard whistled, and one by one, smoothly and slowly
+and then in a bright stream, the station lamps slipped by. The last of
+them flitted into the night, and the train swung and rattled by a mile a
+minute nearer to London town and farther from the high stone wall. There
+was no other stop, and for a long hour the adventurer sat with his legs
+luxuriously stretched along the cushions looking out into a fainter
+duplicate of his carriage, pierced now and then by the glitter of brighter
+points as they whisked by some wayside village, or crossed by the black
+shadows of trees. The whole time he smiled contentedly, doubtless at the
+prospect of his parish work. All at once he seemed stirred, and, turning
+in his seat, laid his face upon the window, and pulled down the blind
+behind his head, so that he could see into the night. He had spied the
+first bright filaments of London. Quickly they spread into a twinkling
+network, and then as quickly were shut out by the first line of suburb
+houses; through the gaps they grew nearer and flared cheerfully; the train
+hooted over an archway, and in the road below he had a glimpse of shop
+windows and crowded pavements and moving omnibuses: he was in the world
+again, and at the foretaste of all this life he laughed like a delighted
+child. Last of all came the spread of shining rails and the red and yellow
+lights of many signals, and then the high glass roof and long lamp-lit
+platforms of St Euston's Cross.
+
+Unencumbered by luggage or plans, Mr Francis Beveridge stuck his hands
+deep in his pockets and strolled aimlessly enough out of the station into
+the tideway of the Euston Road. For a little he stood stock-still on the
+pavement watching the throng of people and the perpetual buses and drays
+and the jingling hansoms picking their way through it all.
+
+"For a man of brains," he moralised, "even though he be certified as
+insane, for probably the best of reasons, this London has surely fools
+enough to provide him with all he needs and more than he deserves. I shall
+set out with my lantern like a second Diogenes to look for a foolish man."
+
+And so he strolled along again to the first opening southwards. That led
+him through a region of dingy enough brick by day, but decked now with its
+string of lamps and bright shop-windows here and there, and kept alive by
+passing buses and cabs going and coming from the station. Farther on the
+street grew gloomier, and a dark square with a grove of trees in the
+middle opened off one side; but, rattle or quiet, flaring shops or
+sad-looking lodgings, he found it all too fresh and amusing to hurry.
+
+"Back to my parish again," he said to himself, smiling broadly at the
+drollery of the idea. "If I'm caught to-morrow, I'll at least have one
+merry night in my wicked, humorous old charge."
+
+He reached Holborn and turned west in the happiest and most enviable of
+moods; the very policemen seemed to cast a friendly eye on him; the frosty
+air, he thought, made the lights burn brighter and the crowd move more
+briskly than ever he had seen them. Suddenly the sight of a hairdresser's
+saloon brought an inspiration. He stroked his beard, twisted his
+moustaches half regretfully, and then exclaiming, "Exit Mr Beveridge,"
+turned into the shop.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART II.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolf von Blitzenberg sat by himself at a table in the
+dining-room of the Hotel Mayonaise, which, as everybody knows, is the
+largest and most expensive in London. He was a young man of a florid and
+burly Teutonic type and the most ingenuous countenance. Being possessed of
+a curious and enterprising disposition, as well as the most ample means,
+he had left his ancestral castle in Bavaria to study for a few months the
+customs and politics of England. In the language he was already
+proficient, and he had promised himself an amusing as well as an
+instructive visit. But, although he had only arrived in London that
+morning, he was already beginning to feel an uncomfortable apprehension
+lest in both respects he should be disappointed. Though his introductions
+were the best with which the British Ambassador could supply him, they
+were only three or four in number,--for, not wishing to be hampered with
+too many acquaintances, he had rather chosen quality than quantity: and
+now, in the course of the afternoon, he had found to his chagrin that in
+every case the families were out of town. In fact, so far as he could
+learn, they were not even at their own country seats. One was abroad,
+another gone to the seaside to recover from the mumps, or a third paying a
+round of visits.
+
+The disappointment was sharp, he felt utterly at sea as to what he should
+do, and he was already beginning to experience the loneliness of a single
+mortal in a crowded hotel.
+
+As the frosty evening was setting in and the shops were being lit, he had
+strolled out into the streets in the vague hope of meeting some strange
+foreign adventure, or perhaps even happily lighting upon some
+half-forgotten diplomatic acquaintance. But he found the pavements crowded
+with a throng who took no notice of him at all, but seemed every man and
+most women of them to be pushing steadily, and generally silently, towards
+a million mysterious goals. Not that he could tell they were silent except
+by their set lips, for the noise of wheels and horses on so many hundreds
+of miles of streets, and the cries of busmen and vendors of evening
+papers, made such a hubbub that he felt before long in a maze. He lost his
+way four times, and was patronisingly set right by beneficent policemen;
+and at last, feeling like a man who has fallen off a precipice on to a
+soft place--none the worse but quite bewildered--he struggled back to his
+hotel. There he spun out his time by watching the people come and go, and
+at last dressed with extra deliberation.
+
+About eight o'clock he sat down to his solitary dinner. The great gilt and
+panelled room was full of diners and bustling waiters, but there was not a
+face the Baron had ever seen before. He was just finishing a plate of
+whitebait when he observed a stranger enter the room and stroll in a very
+self-possessed manner down the middle, glancing at the tables round him as
+though he was looking either for a friend or a desirable seat. This
+gentleman was tall, fair, and clean-shaved; he was dressed in a suit of
+well-fitting tweeds, and his air impressed the Baron as being natural and
+yet distinguished. At last his eye fell upon the Baron, who felt conscious
+of undergoing a quick, critical scrutiny. The table at which that nobleman
+sat was laid for two, and coming apparently to a sudden resolution, the
+good-looking stranger seated himself in the vacant chair. In an agreeable
+voice and with an unmistakably well-bred air he asked a waiter for the
+wine-list, and then, like a man with an excellent appetite, fell to upon
+the various _hors d'oeuvres_, the entire collection of which, in fact, he
+consumed in a wonderfully short space of time. The Baron, being himself no
+trifler with his victuals, regarded this feat with sympathetic approval,
+and began to feel a little less alone in the world. His naturally open
+disposition was warmed besides, owing to a slight misconception he had
+fallen into, perfectly excusable however in a foreigner. He thought he had
+read somewhere that port was the usual accompaniment to the first courses
+of an English dinner, and as his waiter had been somewhat dilatory in
+bringing him the more substantial items of the repast, he had already
+drunk three claret-glasses of this cheering wine. The chill recollections
+of his sixteen quarterings and the exclusiveness he had determined to
+maintain as becoming to his rank were already melting, and he met the
+stranger's eye with what for the life of him he could not help being a
+cordial look.
+
+His _vis-a-vis_ caught the glance, smiled back, and immediately asked,
+with the most charming politeness, "Do you care, sir, to split a bottle of
+champagne?"
+
+"To--er--_shplid?_" said the Baron, with a disappointed consciousness of
+having been put at a loss in his English by the very first man who had
+spoken to him.
+
+"I beg your pardon,--I am afraid I was unintelligibly idiomatic. To divide,
+I should say, you consuming one-half, I the other. Am I clear, sir?"
+
+For a moment the Baron was a little taken aback, and then recollecting
+that the dining habits of the English were still new to him, he concluded
+that the suggestion was probably a customary act of courtesy. He had
+already come to the conclusion that the gentleman must be a person of
+rank, and he replied affably, "Yah--zat is, vid pleasure. Zanks, very."
+
+"The pleasure is mine," said the stranger--"and half the bottle," he added,
+smiling.
+
+The Baron, whose perception of humour had been abnormally increased by
+this time, laughed hilariously at the infection of his new acquaintance's
+smile.
+
+"Goot, goot!" he cried. "Ach, yah, zo."
+
+"Am I right, sir, in supposing that, despite the perfection of your
+English accent, I cannot be fortunate enough to claim you as a
+countryman?" asked the stranger.
+
+The Baron's resolutions of reticence had vanished altogether before such
+unexpected and (he could not but think) un-English friendliness. He
+unburdened his heart with a rush.
+
+"You have ze right. I am Deutsch. I have gom to England zis day for to
+lairn and to amuse myself. But mein, vat you call?--introdogtions zey are
+not inside, zat is zey are from off. Not von, all, every single gone to ze
+gontry or to abroad. I am alone, I eat my dinner in zolitude, I am pleased
+to meet you, sare."
+
+A cork popped and the champagne frothed into the stranger's glass. Raising
+it to his lips, he said, "Prosit!"
+
+"Prosit!" responded the Baron, enthusiastically. "You know ze Deutsch,
+sare?"
+
+"I am safer in English, I confess."
+
+"Ach, das ist goot, I vant for to practeese. Ve vill talk English."
+
+"With all my heart," said the stranger. "I, too, am alone, and I hold
+myself more than fortunate in making your acquaintance. It's a devilish
+dull world when one can't share a bottle--or a brace of them, for the
+matter of that."
+
+"You know London?" asked the Baron.
+
+"I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive."
+
+"I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom, as I say, to-day."
+
+"With pleasure," said the stranger, readily. "In fact, if you are ever
+disengaged I may possibly be able to act as showman."
+
+"Showman!" roared the Baron, thinking he had discovered a jest. "Ha, ha,
+ha! Goot, zehr goot!"
+
+The other looked a trifle astonished for an instant, and then as he sipped
+his champagne an expression of intense satisfaction came over his face.
+
+"I can put away my lantern," he said to himself,--"I have found him."
+
+"May I have the boldness to ask your name, sir?" he asked aloud.
+
+"Ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg," that nobleman replied. "Yours,
+sare--may I dare?"
+
+"Francis Bunker, at your service, Baron."
+
+"You are noble?" queried the Baron a little anxiously, for his prejudices
+on this point were strong.
+
+"According to your standard I believe I may say so. That's to say, my
+family have borne arms for two hundred odd generations; twenty-five per
+cent of them have died of good living; and the most malicious have never
+accused us of brains. I myself may not be very typical, but I assure you
+it isn't my ancestors' fault."
+
+The latter part of this explanation entirely puzzled the Baron. The first
+statement, though eminently satisfactory, was also a little bewildering.
+
+"Two hondred generations?" he asked, courteously. "Zat is a vary old
+family. All bore arms you say, Mistair Bonker?"
+
+"All," replied Mr Bunker, gravely. "The first few bore tails as well."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron. "You are a fonny man I pairceive, vat you
+call clown, yes?"
+
+"What my friends call clown, and I call wit," Mr Bunker corrected.
+
+"Vit! Ha, ha, ha!" roared the Baron, whose mind was now in an El Dorado of
+humour when jokes grew like daisies. His loneliness had disappeared as if
+by magic; as course succeeded course his contentment showed itself in a
+perpetually beaming smile: he ceased to worry even about his friend's
+pedigree, convinced in his mind that manners so delightful and
+distinguished could only result from repeated quarterings and unoccupied
+forefathers. Yet by the time dessert arrived and he had again returned to
+his port, he began to feel an extreme curiosity to know more concerning Mr
+Bunker. He himself had volunteered a large quantity of miscellaneous
+information: about Bavaria, its customs and its people, more especially
+the habits and history of the Blitzenberg family; about himself, his
+parentage and education; all about his family ghost, his official position
+as hereditary carpet-beater to the Bavarian Court, and many other things
+equally entertaining and instructive. Mr Bunker, for his part, had so far
+confined his confidences to his name.
+
+"My dear Bonker," said the Baron at last--he had become quite familiar by
+this time--"vat make you in London? I fear you are bird of passage. Do you
+stay long?"
+
+Mr Bunker cracked a nut, looking very serious; then he leant on one elbow,
+glanced up at the ceiling pensively, and sighed.
+
+"I hope I do not ask vat I should not," the Baron interposed, courteously.
+
+"My dear Baron, ask what you like," replied Mr Bunker. "In a city full of
+strangers, or of friends who have forgotten me, you alone have my
+confidence. My story is a common one of youthful folly and present
+repentance, but such as it is, you are welcome to it."
+
+The Baron gulped down half a glass of port and leaned forward
+sympathetically.
+
+"My father," Mr Bunker continued with an air of half-sad reminiscence, "is
+one of the largest landowners and the head of one of the most ancient
+families in the north of England. I was his eldest son and heir. I am
+still, I have every reason to believe, his eldest son, but my heirship, I
+regret to say, is more doubtful. I spent a prodigal youth and a larger sum
+of money than my poor father approved of. He was a strict though a kind
+parent, and for the good of my health and the replenishment of the family
+coffers, which had been sadly drained by my extravagance, he sent me
+abroad. There I have led a roving life for the last six years, and at
+last, my wild oats sown, reaped, and gathered in (and a well-filled
+stackyard they made, I can assure you), I decided to return to England and
+become an ornament to respectable society. Like you, I arrived in London
+to-day, but only to find to my disgust that my family have gone to winter
+in Egypt. So you see that at present I am like a shipwrecked sailor
+clinging to a rock and waiting, with what patience I can muster, for a
+boat to take me off."
+
+"You mean," inquired the Baron, anxiously, "that you vish to go to Egypt
+at vonce?"
+
+"I had thought of it; though there is a difficulty in the way, I admit."
+
+"You vill not stay zen here?" "My dear Baron, why should I? I have neither
+friends nor----"
+
+He stopped abruptly.
+
+"I do not like to zink I shall lose your company so soon."
+
+"I admit," allowed Mr Bunker, "that this fortunate meeting tempts me to
+stay."
+
+"Vy not?" said the Baron, cordially. "Can your fader not vait to see you?"
+
+"I hardly think he will worry about me, I confess."
+
+"Zen stay, my goot Bonker!"
+
+"Unfortunately there is the same difficulty as stands in the way of my
+going to Egypt."
+
+"And may I inquire vat zat is?"
+
+"To tell you the truth," replied Mr Bunker, with an air of reluctant
+candour, "my funds are rather low. I had trusted to finding my father at
+home, but as he isn't, why----" he shrugged his shoulders and threw himself
+back in his chair.
+
+The Baron seemed struck with an idea which he hesitated to express.
+
+"Shall we smoke?" his friend suggested.
+
+"Vaiter!" cried the Baron, "bring here two best cigars and two coffee!"
+
+"A liqueur, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, yah. Vat for you?"
+
+"A liqueur brandy suggests itself."
+
+"Vaiter! and two brandy."
+
+"And now," said the Baron, "I haf an idea, Bonker."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, as I have said, had a warm heart. He
+was, besides, alone in one hundred and twenty square miles of strangers
+and foreigners when he had happened upon this congenial spirit. He began
+in a tone of the most ingenuous friendliness--
+
+"I haf no friends here. My introdogtions zey are gone. Bot I haf moch
+money, and I vish a, vat you say?--showman, ha, ha, ha! You haf too leetle
+money and no friends and you can show. You show and I will loan you vat
+you vish. May I dare to suggest?"
+
+"My dear Baron!"
+
+"My goot Bonker! I am in airnest, I assure. Vy not? It is vun gentleman
+and anozzer."
+
+"You are far too kind."
+
+"It is to myself I am kind, zen. I vant a guide, a frient. It is a loan.
+Do not scruple. Ven your fader goms you can pay if you please. It is
+nozing to me."
+
+"Well, my dear Baron," said Mr Bunker, like a man persuaded against his
+will, "what can I say? I confess I might find a little difficulty in
+replenishing my purse without resorting to disagreeable means, and if you
+really wish my society, why----"
+
+"Zen it is a bairgain?" cried the Baron.
+
+"If you insist----"
+
+"I insist. Vaiter! Alzo two ozzer liqueur. Ve most drink to ze bairgain,
+Bonker."
+
+They pledged each other cordially, and talked from that moment like old
+friends. The Baron was thoroughly pleased with himself, and Mr Bunker
+seemed no less gratified at his own good fortune. Half an hour went
+quickly by, and then the Baron exclaimed, "Let us do zomzing to-night,
+Bonker. I burn for to begin zis show of London."
+
+"What would you care to do, Baron? It is rather late, I am afraid, to
+think of a theatre. What do you say to a music-hall?"
+
+"Music-hall? I haf seen zem at home. Damned amusing, das ist ze
+expression, yes?"
+
+"It is a perfect description."
+
+"Bot," continued the Baron, solemnly, "I must not begin vid ze vickedest."
+
+"And yet," replied his friend, persuasively, "even wickedness needs a
+beginning."
+
+"Bot, if I begin I may not stop. Zomzing more qviet ze first night. Haf
+you a club?"
+
+Mr Bunker pondered for a moment, and a curious smile stole across his
+face. Then it vanished, and he answered readily, "Certainly, Baron, an
+excellent idea. I haven't been to my club for so long that it never struck
+me. Let us come."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron, rising with alacrity.
+
+They put on their coats (Mr Bunker's, it may be remarked, being a handsome
+fur-lined garment), the porter hailed a cab, and the driver was ordered to
+take them to the Regent's Club in Pall Mall. The Baron knew it by
+reputation as the most exclusive in London, and his opinion of his friend
+rose still higher.
+
+They joined a jingling string of other hansoms and sped swiftly through
+the exhilarating bustle of the streets. To the Baron it seemed as if a
+great change had come over the city since he wandered disconsolately
+before dinner. Carried swiftly to the music of the little bells through
+the sharp air and the London night that is brighter than day, with a
+friend by his side and a good dinner within, he marked the most
+astonishing difference. All the people seemed to talk and laugh, and for
+his own part he found it hard to keep his tongue still.
+
+"I know ze name of ze Regent's," he said; "vun club of ze best, is it
+not?"
+
+"The very best club, Baron."
+
+"Zey are all noble?"
+
+"In many cases the receipts for their escutcheons are still in their
+pockets."
+
+Though the precise significance of this explanation was not quite clear to
+the Baron, it sounded eminently satisfactory.
+
+"Zo?" he said. "I shall be moch interested to see zem."
+
+As they entered the club the porter stared at them curiously, and even
+made a movement as though he would step out and address them; but Mr
+Bunker, wishing him a courteous good evening, walked briskly up to the
+hat-and-cloak racks in the hall. A young man had just hung up his hat, and
+as he was divesting himself of his coat, Mr Bunker quickly took the hat
+down, glanced at the name inside, and replaced it on its peg. Then he held
+out his hand and addressed the young man cordially.
+
+"Good evening, Transome, how are you?" said he, and, heedless of the look
+of surprise on the other's face, he turned towards the Baron and added,
+"Let me introduce the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg--Mr Transome. The Baron
+has just come to England, and I thought he couldn't begin better than by a
+visit to the Regent's. Let us come into the smoking-room."
+
+In a few minutes they were all on the best of terms. A certain perplexity,
+and almost shyness, that the young man showed at first, vanished rapidly
+before the Baron's cordiality and Mr Bunker's well-bred charm of manner.
+
+They were deeply engrossed in a discussion on the reigning sovereign of
+the Baron's native land, a monarch of whose enlightened policy that
+nobleman spoke with pardonable pride, when two elderly gentlemen entered
+the room.
+
+"Who are these?" Mr Bunker whispered to Transome. "I know them very well,
+but I am always bad at names."
+
+"Lord Fabrigas and General M'Dermott," replied Transome.
+
+Instantly Mr Bunker rose and greeted the new-comers.
+
+"Good evening, Lord Fabrigas; good evening, General. You have just come in
+time to be introduced to the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, whom you
+doubtless know by reputation."
+
+The Baron rose and bowed, and it struck him that elderly English gentlemen
+were singularly stiff and constrained in their manner. Mr Bunker, however,
+continued cheerfully, "We are just going to have a smoking concert. Will
+you begin, Baron?"
+
+"I know not English songs," replied the Baron, "bot I should like moch to
+hear."
+
+"You must join in the chorus, then."
+
+"Certainly, Bonker. I haf a voice zat is considered--vat you
+call--deafening, yes?--in ze chorus."
+
+Mr Bunker cleared his throat, and, just as the General was on the point of
+interposing a remark, struck up hastily; and for the first time in its
+long and honourable history the smoking-room of the Regent's Club reechoed
+to a popular music-hall ditty.
+
+
+    "They sometimes call 'em duckies, they sometimes call 'em pets,
+      And sometimes they refer to 'em as dears
+    They live on little matters that a gentleman forgets,
+      In a little world of giggles and of tears;
+    There are different varieties from which a man may choose,
+      There are sorts and shapes and sizes without end,
+    But the kind I'd pick myself is the kind you introduce
+      By the simple title of 'my lady friend.' "
+
+
+"Chorus, Baron!" And then he trolled in waltz time this edifying refrain--
+
+
+    "My lady friend, my lady friend!
+          Can't you twig, dear boys,
+        From the sound of the kisses
+      She isn't my misses,
+    She's only my lady friend!"
+
+
+In a voice like a train going over a bridge the Baron chimed in--
+
+
+    "My laty vrient, my laty vrient!
+          Cannot you tvig, mine boy,
+        Vrom ze sound of ze kiss,
+      He is not my miss,
+    He is only mine laty vrient!"
+
+
+"I am afraid," said Mr Bunker, as they finished the chorus, "that I can't
+remember any more. Now, General, it's your turn."
+
+"Sir," replied that gallant officer, who had listened to this ditty in
+purple and petrified astonishment, "I don't know who the devil you are,
+but I can tell you, you won't remain a member of this club much longer if
+you come into it again in this state."
+
+"I had forgotten," said Mr Bunker, with even more than his usual
+politeness, "that such an admirable music-hall critic was listening to me.
+I must apologise for my poor effort."
+
+Wishing him courteously good-night, he took the Baron by the arm and
+walked out. While that somewhat perplexed nobleman was struggling into his
+coat, his friend rapidly and dexterously converted all the silk hats he
+could see into the condition of collapsed opera hats, and then picked a
+small hand-bag off the floor. The Baron walked out through the door first,
+but Mr Bunker stopped for an instant opposite the hall-porter's box, and
+crying, "Good night to you, sir!" hurled the bag through the glass, rushed
+after his friend, and in less time than it takes to tell they were tearing
+up Pall Mall in a hansom.
+
+For a few minutes both were silent; then the Baron said slowly, "I do not
+qvite onderstand."
+
+"My dear Baron," his friend explained gaily, "these practical jokes are
+very common in our clubs. They are quite part of our national life, you
+know, and I thought you ought to see everything."
+
+The Baron said nothing, but he began to realise that he was indeed in a
+foreign country.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+"Vell, Bonker, vat show to-day?" said the Baron.
+
+Mr Bunker sipped his coffee and smiled back at his friend.
+
+"What would you like?" said he.
+
+They were sitting in the Baron's private room finishing one of the
+renowned Hotel Mayonaise breakfasts. Out of the windows they could see the
+bright curving river, the bare tops of the Embankment trees, a file of
+barges drifting with the tide, and cold-looking clouds hurrying over the
+chaos of brick on the opposite shore. It was a bright breezy morning, and
+the Baron felt in high good-humour with his surroundings. On maturer
+consideration, the entertaining experience of the night before had greatly
+raised Mr Bunker in his estimation. He had chuckled his way through a
+substantial breakfast, and in such good company felt ready for any
+adventure that might turn up.
+
+He lit a cigar, pushed back his chair, and replied blandly, "I am in your
+hands. I am ready to enjoy anyzing."
+
+"Do you wish instruction or entertainment?"
+
+"Mix zem, Bonker. Entertain by instrogtion; instrogt by entertaining."
+
+"You are epigrammatic, Baron, but devilish vague. I presume, however, that
+you wish entertaining experience from which a man of your philosophical
+temperament can draw a moral--afterwards."
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed the Baron. "Excellent! You provide ze experiences--I draw
+ze moral."
+
+"And we share the entertainment. The theory is perfect, but I'm afraid we
+need a programme. Now, on my own first visit to London I remember being
+taken--by the hand--to Madame Tussaud's Waxworks, the Tower, St Paul's
+Cathedral, the fishmarket at Billingsgate, the British Museum, and a
+number of other damnably edifying spectacles. You might naturally suppose
+that after such a round it would be quite superfluous for me ever to come
+up to town again. Yet, surprising as it may appear, most of the knowledge
+of London I hope to put at your disposal has been gained in the course of
+subsequent visits."
+
+"Bot zese places--Tousaud, Tower, Paul's--are zey not instrogtif?"
+
+"If you wish to learn that a great number of years ago a vast quantity of
+inconsequent events occurred, or that in an otherwise amusing enough world
+there are here and there collected so many roomfuls of cheerless articles,
+I can strongly recommend a visit to the Tower of London or the British
+Museum."
+
+"In mine own gontry," said the Baron, thoughtfully, "I can lairn zo moch."
+
+"Then, my dear Baron, while you are here forget it all."
+
+"And yet," said the Baron, still thoughtfully, "somzing I should lairn
+here."
+
+"Certainly; you will learn something of what goes on underneath a
+waistcoat and a little of the contents of a corset and petticoat. Also of
+the strange customs of this city and the excellence of British
+institutions."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron, who thought that if his friend had not
+actually made a jest, it was at least time for one to occur. "I see, I
+see. I draw ze moral, ha, ha!"
+
+"This morning," Mr Bunker continued, reflectively, "we might--let me
+see--well, we might do a little shopping. To tell you the truth, Baron, my
+South African experiences have somewhat exhausted my wardrobe."
+
+"Ach, zo. Cairtainly ve vill shop. Bot, Bonker, Soud Africa? Vas it not
+Soud America?"
+
+"Did I say Africa? America of course I meant. Well, let us shop if you
+have no objections: then we might have a little lunch, and afterwards
+visit the Park. For the evening, what do you say to a theatre?"
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron. "Make it tzos."
+
+Mr Bunker's shopping turned out to be a pretty extensive operation.
+
+"Loan vat you please of money," said his friend. "A gentleman should be
+dressed in agreement."
+
+With now and then an apology for his extravagance, he took full advantage
+of the Baron's generosity, and ordered such an assortment of garments that
+his tailor could hardly bow low enough to express his gratification.
+
+After an excellent lunch in the most expensive restaurant to be found,
+they walked arm-in-arm westwards along Piccadilly, Mr Bunker pointing out
+the various objects of historical or ephemeral interest to be seen in that
+thoroughfare, the Baron drinking in this information with the serious air
+of the distinguished traveller.
+
+"And now we come to the Park," said Mr Bunker. "Guard your heart, Baron."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" replied the Baron. "Zo instrogtion is feenished, and now
+goms entertainment, ha?"
+
+"With the moral always running through it, remember."
+
+"I shall not forget."
+
+The sunshine had brought out a great many carriages and a sprinkling of
+walkers along the railings. The two friends strolled among them, eyeing
+the women and stopping now and then to look back at a carriage.
+
+"I suppose," said the Baron, "zat vile you haf been avay your frients have
+forgot you."
+
+As he spoke a young man looked hard at Mr Bunker, and even made a movement
+as though he would stop and speak to him. Mr Bunker looked blandly through
+him and walked on.
+
+"Do you not know zat gentleman?"
+
+"Which gentleman?"
+
+"Ze young man zat looked so at you."
+
+"Some young men have a way of staring here, Baron."
+
+A few minutes later a lady in a passing carriage looked round sharply at
+them with an air of great surprise, and half bowed.
+
+"Surely," exclaimed the Baron, "zat vas a frient of yours!"
+
+"I am not a friend of hers, then," Mr Bunker replied with a laugh. "Her
+bow I think must have been aimed at you."
+
+The Baron shook his head, and seemed to be drawing a moral.
+
+"Baron," his friend exclaimed, suddenly, "let us go back; here comes one
+of our most popular phenomena, a London fog. We need not stay in the Park
+to observe it."
+
+The sun was already obscured; there stole a most insidious chill through
+the air; like the changing of a scene on the stage they found themselves
+in a few minutes walking in a little ring of trees and road and iron
+railings instead of a wide sunny park; the roar of the streets came from
+behind a wall of mist that opened mysteriously to let a phantom carriage
+in and out, and closed silently behind it again.
+
+"I like not zis," said the Baron, with a shiver.
+
+By the time they had found Piccadilly again there was nothing at all to be
+seen but the light of the nearest lamp, as large and far away as a
+struggling sun, and the shadowy people who flitted by.
+
+Their talk ceased. The Baron turned up his collar and sucked his cigar
+lugubriously, and Mr Bunker seemed unusually thoughtful. They had walked
+nearly as far as Piccadilly Circus when they were pulled up by a cab
+turning down a side-street. There was a lamp-post at the corner, and under
+it stood a burly man, his red face quite visible as they came up to his
+shoulder.
+
+In an instant Mr Bunker seized the Baron by the arm, pulled him round, and
+began to walk hastily back again.
+
+"Vat for zis?" said the Baron, in great astonishment.
+
+"We have come too far, thanks to this infernal fog. We must cross the
+street and take the first turning on the other side. I must apologise,
+Baron, for my absence of mind."
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+The cab passed by and the red-faced man strolled on.
+
+"Like lookin' for a needle in a bloomin' haystack," he said to himself. "I
+might as well go back to Clankwood. 'E's a good riddance, I say."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed their dinner with the relish of
+approving connoisseurs. Mr Bunker commended the hock, and suggested a
+second bottle; the Baron praised the _entrees_, and insisted on another
+helping. The frequent laughter arising from their table excited general
+remark throughout the room, and already the waiters were whispering to the
+other guests that this was a German nobleman of royal blood engaged in a
+diplomatic mission of importance, and his friend a ducal member of the
+English Cabinet, at present, for reasons of state, incognito.
+
+"Bonker!" exclaimed the Baron, "I am in zat frame of head I vant a
+romance, an adventure" (lowering his voice a little), "mit a beautiful
+lady, Bonker."
+
+"It must be a romance, Baron?"
+
+"A novel, a story to tell to mine frients. In a strange city man expects
+strange zings."
+
+"Well, I'll do my best for you, but I confess the provision of romantic
+adventures is a little outside the programme we've arranged."
+
+"Ha, ha! Ve shall see, ve shall see, Bonker!"
+
+They arrived at the Corinthian Theatre about the middle of the first act,
+for, as Mr Bunker explained, it is always well to produce a good first
+impression, and few more effective means can be devised than working one's
+way to the middle of a line of stalls with the play already in progress.
+
+Hardly were they seated when the Baron drove his elbow into his friend's
+ribs (draped for the night, it may be remarked, with one of the Baron's
+spare dress-coats) and exclaimed in an excited whisper, "Next to you,
+Bonker! Ach, zehr huepsch!"
+
+Even before this hint Mr Bunker had observed that the lady on the other
+side of him was possessed of exceptional attractions. For a little time he
+studied her out of the corners of his eyes. He noticed that the stall on
+the farther side of her was empty, that she once or twice looked round as
+though she expected somebody, and that she seemed not altogether
+unconscious of her new neighbours. He further observed that her face was
+of a type that is more usually engaged in attack than defence.
+
+Then he whispered, "Would you like to know her?"
+
+"Ach, yah!" replied the Baron, eagerly. "Bot--can you?"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled confidently. A few minutes later he happened to let his
+programme fall into her lap.
+
+"I beg your pardon," he whispered, softly, and glanced into her eyes with
+a smile ready.
+
+His usual discernment had not failed him. She smiled, and instantly he
+produced his.
+
+A little later her opera-glasses happened to slip from her hand, and
+though they only slipped slowly, it was no doubt owing to his ready
+presence of mind that their fall was averted.
+
+This time their fingers happened to touch, and they smiled without an
+apology.
+
+He leant towards her, looking, however, at the play. They shared a laugh
+over a joke that she might have been excused for not understanding;
+presently a criticism of some situation escaped him inadvertently, and she
+smiled again; soon after she gave an exclamation and he answered
+sympathetically, and at the end of the act the curtain came down on an
+acquaintance already begun. As the lights were turned up, and here and
+there men began to go out, she again looked at the entrances in some
+apparent concern, either lest some one should not come in or lest some one
+should.
+
+"He is late," said Mr Bunker, smiling.
+
+She gave a very enticing look of surprise, and consented to smile back
+before she coyly looked away again.
+
+"An erring husband, I presume."
+
+She admitted that it was in fact a husband who had failed her.
+
+"But," she added, "I'm afraid--I mean I expect he'll come in after the next
+act. It's so tiresome of him to disappoint me like this."
+
+Mr Bunker expressed the deepest sympathy with her unfortunate predicament.
+
+"He has his ticket, of course?"
+
+But it seemed that she had both the tickets with her, an arrangement which
+he immediately denounced as likely to lead to difficulties when her
+husband arrived. He further, in the most obliging manner, suggested that
+he should take the ticket for the other seat to the booking office and
+leave instructions for its being given to the gentleman on his arrival.
+The lady gave him a curious little glance that seemed to imply a mixture
+of doubt as to his motives with confidence in his abilities, and then with
+many thanks agreed to his suggestion. Mr Bunker took the ticket and rose
+at once.
+
+"That I may be sure you are in good company while I am away," said he,
+"permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+And the Baron promptly took his vacant seat.
+
+On his return Mr Bunker found his friend wreathed in smiles and engaged in
+the most animated conversation with the lady, and before the last act was
+over, he gathered from such scraps of conversation as reached his ears
+that Rudolph von Blitzenberg had little to learn in one department of a
+nobleman's duties.
+
+"I wonder where my husband can be," the lady whispered.
+
+"Ach, heed him not, fair lady," replied the Baron. "Am I not instead of a
+hosband?"
+
+"I'm afraid you're a very naughty man, Baron."
+
+"Ven I am viz you," the gallant Baron answered, "I forget myself all bot
+your charms."
+
+These advances being made in the most dulcet tones of which the nobleman
+was master, and accompanied by the most enamoured expression, it is not
+surprising that the lady permitted herself to listen to them with perhaps
+too ready an ear. What Mr Bunker's arrangement with the booking clerk had
+been was never quite clear, but certainly the erring husband failed to
+make his appearance at all, and at the last fall of the curtain she was
+easily persuaded to let the Baron escort her home.
+
+"I know I ought not, but if a husband deserts one so faithlessly, what can
+I do?" she said, with a very becoming little shrug of her shoulders and a
+captivating lift of her eyebrows.
+
+"Ah, vat indeed? He desairves not so fair a consort."
+
+"But won't it be troubling you?"
+
+"Trouble? Pleasure and captivation!"
+
+"Excuse me, Baron," said the voice of Mr Bunker at his elbow; "if you will
+wait here at the door I shall send up a cab."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron, "a zouzand zanks!"
+
+"I myself," added Mr Bunker, with a profound bow to the lady, "shall say
+good night now. The best of luck, Baron!"
+
+In a few minutes a hansom drove up, and the Baron, springing in beside his
+charge, told the man to drive to 602 Eaton Square.
+
+"Not too qvickly!" he added, in a stage aside.
+
+They reached Trafalgar Square, matters inside going harmoniously as a
+marriage bell,--almost, in fact, too much suggesting that simile.
+
+"Why are we going down Whitehall?" the lady exclaimed, suddenly.
+
+"I know not," replied the Baron, placidly.
+
+"Ask him where he is going!" she said.
+
+The Baron, as in duty bound, asked, and the reassuring reply, "All right,
+sir," came back through the hole in the roof.
+
+"I seem to know that man's voice," the lady said. "He must have driven me
+before."
+
+"To me all ze English speak ze same," replied the Baron. "All bot you, my
+fairest, viz your sound like a--vat you call?--fiddle, is it?"
+
+Though his charmer had serious misgivings regarding their cabman's
+topographical knowledge, the Baron's company proved so absorbing that it
+was not till they were being rapidly driven over Vauxhall Bridge that she
+at last took alarm. At first the Baron strove to soothe her by the most
+approved Teutonic blandishments, but in time he too began to feel
+concerned, and in a voice like thunder he repeatedly called upon the
+driver to stop. No reply was vouchsafed, and the pace merely grew the more
+reckless.
+
+"Can't you catch the reins?" cried the lady, who had got into a terrible
+fright.
+
+The Baron twice essayed the feat, but each time a heavy blow over the
+knuckles from the butt-end of the whip forced him to desist. The lady
+burst into tears. The Baron swore in five languages alternately, and still
+the cab pursued its headlong career through deserted midnight streets,
+past infrequent policemen and stray belated revellers, on into an unknown
+wilderness of brick.
+
+"Oh, don't let him murder me!" sobbed the lady.
+
+"Haf cheer, fairest; he shall not vile I am viz you! Gott in himmel, ze
+rascal! Parbleu und blood! Goddam! Vait till I catch him, hell and
+blitzen! Haf courage, dear!"
+
+"Oh dear, oh dear!" wailed the lady. "I shall _never_ do it again!"
+
+They must have covered miles, and still the speed never abated, when
+suddenly, as they were rounding a sharp corner, the horse slipped on the
+frost-bound road, and in the twinkling of an eye the Baron and the lady
+were sitting on opposite sides of their fallen steed, and the cabman was
+rubbing his head some yards in front.
+
+"Teufel!" exclaimed the Baron, rising carefully to his feet. "Ach, mine
+dearest vun, art thou hurt?"
+
+The lady was silent for a moment, as though trying to decide, and then she
+burst into hysterical laughter.
+
+"Ach, zo," said the Baron, much relieved, "zen vill I see ze cabman."
+
+That individual was still rubbing his head with a rueful air, and the
+Baron was about to pour forth all his bottled-up indignation, when at the
+sight of the driver's face he started back in blank astonishment.
+
+"Bonker!"
+
+"It is I indeed, my dear Baron," replied that gentleman, politely. "I must
+ask a thousand pardons for causing you this trifling inconvenience. As to
+your friend, I don't know how I am to make my peace with her."
+
+"Bot--bot vat means zis?" gasped the Baron.
+
+"I was merely endeavouring to provide the spice of romance you required,
+besides giving you the opportunity of making the lady's better
+acquaintance. Can I do anything more for you, Baron? And you, my dear
+lady, can I assist you in any way?"
+
+Both, speaking at once and with some heat, gave a decidedly affirmative
+answer.
+
+"Where are we?" asked the lady, who hovered between fright and
+indignation.
+
+Mr Bunker shrugged his shoulders.
+
+"It would be rash to hazard an opinion," he replied.
+
+"Well!" cried the lady, her indignation quite overcoming her fright. "Do
+you mean to say you've brought us here against our wills and probably got
+me into _dreadful_ trouble, and you don't even know where we are?"
+
+Mr Bunker looked up at the heavens with a studious air.
+
+"One _ought_ to be able to tell something of our whereabouts from one of
+those stars," he replied; "but, to tell the truth, I don't quite know
+which. In short, madame, it is not from want of goodwill, but merely
+through ignorance, that I cannot direct you."
+
+The lady turned impatiently to the Baron.
+
+"_You've_ helped to get me into this mess," she said, tartly. "What do you
+propose to do?"
+
+"My fairest----"
+
+"Don't!" she interrupted, stamping her foot on the frosty road, and then
+inconsequently burst into tears. The Baron and Mr Bunker looked at one
+another.
+
+"It is a fine night for a walk, and the cab, I'm afraid, is smashed beyond
+hope of redemption. Give the lady your arm, Baron; we must eventually
+arrive somewhere."
+
+There was really nothing else for it, so leaving the horse and cab to be
+recovered by the first policeman who chanced to pass, they set out on
+foot. At last, after half an hour's ramble through the solitudes of South
+London, a belated cab was hailed and all three got inside. Once on her way
+home, the lady's indignation again gave way to fright.
+
+"What _am_ I to do? What _am_ I to do?" she wailed. "Oh, whatever will my
+husband say?"
+
+In his most confident and irresistible manner Mr Bunker told her he would
+make matters all right for her at whatever cost to himself; and so
+infectious was his assurance, that, when at last they reached Eaton
+Square, she allowed him to come up to the door of number 602. The Baron
+prudently remained in the cab, for, as he explained, "My English, he is
+unsafe."
+
+After a prolonged knocking and ringing the door at length opened, and an
+irascible-looking, middle-aged gentleman appeared, arrayed in a
+dressing-gown.
+
+"Louisa!" he cried. "What the dev--where on earth have you been? The police
+are looking for you all over London. And may I venture to ask who this is
+with you?"
+
+Mr Bunker bowed slightly and raised his hat.
+
+"My dear sir," he said, "we found this lady in a lamentable state of
+intoxication in the Tottenham Court Road, and as I understand you have a
+kind of reversionary interest in her, we have brought her here. As for
+you, sir, your appearance is so unprepossessing that I am unable to remain
+any longer. Good night," and raising his hat again he entered the cab and
+drove off, assuring the Baron that matters were satisfactorily arranged.
+
+"So you have had your adventure, Baron," he added, with a smile.
+
+For a minute or two the Baron was silent. Then he broke into a cheerful
+guffaw, "Ha, ha, ha! You are a fonny devil, Bonker! Ach, bot it vas
+pleasant vile it lasted!"
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+A few days passed in the most entertaining manner. A menu of amusements
+was regularly prepared suitable to a catholic taste, and at every turn the
+Baron was struck by the enterprise and originality of his friend. He had,
+however, a national bent for serious inquiry, and now and then doubts
+crossed his mind whether, with all his moral drawing, he was acquiring
+quite as much solid information as he had set out to gain. This idea grew
+upon him, till one morning, after gazing for some time at the English
+newspaper he always made a point of reading, he suddenly exclaimed,
+"Bonker, I haf a doubt!"
+
+"I have many," replied Mr Bunker; "in fact, I have few positive ideas
+left."
+
+"Bot mine is a particulair doubt. Do I lairn enoff?"
+
+"My own conception of enough learning, Baron, is a thing like a
+threepenny-bit--the smallest coin one can do one's marketing with."
+
+"And yet," said the Baron, solemnly, "for my own share, I am not
+satisfied. I vould lairn more of ze British institutions; so far I haf
+lairned of ze pleasures only."
+
+"My dear Baron, they are the British institutions."
+
+The Baron shook his head and fell to his paper again, while Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the sofa and gazed through his cigar-smoke at the
+ceiling. Suddenly the Baron gave an exclamation of horror.
+
+"My dear Baron, what is the matter?"
+
+"Yet anozer outrage!" cried the Baron. "Zese anarchists, zey are too
+scandalous. At all ze stations zere are detectives, and all ze ships are
+being vatched. Ach, it is terrible!"
+
+Mr Bunker seemed struck with an idea, for he stared at the ceiling without
+making any reply, and his eyes, had the Baron seen them, twinkled
+curiously.
+
+At last the Baron laid down his paper.
+
+"Vell, vat shall ve do?" he asked.
+
+"Let us come first to Liverpool Street Station, if you don't mind, Baron,"
+his friend suggested. "I have something in the cloak-room there I want to
+pick up."
+
+"My dear Bonker, I shall go vere you vill; bot remember I vant to-day more
+instrogtion and less entertainment."
+
+"You wish to see the practical side of English life?"
+
+"Yah--zat is, yes."
+
+Mr Bunker smiled.
+
+"Then I must entertain myself."
+
+As they drove down he was in his wittiest humour, and the Baron, in spite
+of his desire for instruction, was more charmed with his friend than ever.
+
+"Vat fonny zing vill you do next, eh?" he asked, as they walked arm-in-arm
+into the station.
+
+"I am no more the humourist, my dear Baron,--I shall endeavour to edify
+you."
+
+They had arrived at a busy hour, when the platforms were crowded with
+passengers and luggage. A train had just come in, and around it the bustle
+was at its height, and the confusion most bewildering.
+
+"Wait for me here," said Mr Bunker; "I shall be back in a minute."
+
+He started in the direction of the cloak-room, and then, doubling back
+through the crowd, walked down the platform and stopped opposite a
+luggage-van. An old gentleman, beside himself with irritation, was
+struggling with the aid of a porter to collect his luggage, and presently
+he left the pile he had got together and made a rush in the direction of a
+large portmanteau that was just being tumbled out. Instantly Mr Bunker
+picked up a handbag from the heap and walked quickly off with it.
+
+"Here you are, Baron," he said, as he came up to his friend. "I find there
+is something else I must do, so do you mind holding this bag for a few
+minutes? If you will walk up and down in front of the refreshment-rooms
+here, I'll find you more easily. Is it troubling you too much?"
+
+"Not vun bit, Bonker. I am in your sairvice."
+
+He put the bag into the Baron's hand with his pleasantest smile, and
+turned away. Rounding a corner, he came cautiously back again through the
+crowd and stepped up to a policeman.
+
+"Keep your eye on that man, officer," he said, in a low confidential
+voice, and an air of quiet authority, "and put your plain clothes' men on
+his track. I know him for one of the most dangerous anarchists."
+
+The man started and stared hard at the Baron, and presently that
+unconscious nobleman, pacing the platform in growing wonder at Mr Bunker's
+lengthy absence, and looking anxiously round him on all sides, noticed
+with surprise that a number of quietly dressed men, with no apparent
+business in the station, were eyeing him with, it seemed to him, an
+interest that approached suspicion. In time he grew annoyed, he returned
+their glances with his haughtiest and most indignant look, and finally,
+stepping up to one of them, asked in no friendly voice, "Vat for do you
+vatch me?"
+
+The man returned an evasive answer, and passing one of his
+fellow-officers, whispered, "Foreign; I was sure of it."
+
+At last the Baron could stand it no longer, and laying the bag down by the
+door of the refreshment-room, turned hastily away. On the instant Mr
+Bunker, who had watched these proceedings from a safe distance, cried in a
+loud and agonised voice, "Down with your men, sergeant! Down, lie down! It
+will explode in twenty seconds!"
+
+And as he spoke he threw himself flat on his face. So infectious were his
+commanding voice and his note of alarm that one after another, detectives,
+passengers, and porters, cast themselves at full length on the platform.
+The Baron, filled with terror of anarchist plots, was one of the first to
+prostrate himself, and at that there could be no further doubt of the
+imminence of the peril.
+
+The cabs rattled and voices sounded from outside; an engine whistled and
+shunted at a far platform, but never before at that hour of the day had
+Liverpool Street Station been so silent. All held their breath and heard
+their hearts thump as they gazed in horrible fascination at that fatal
+bag, or with closed eyes stumbled through a hasty prayer. Fully a minute
+passed, and the suspense was growing intolerable, when with a loud oath an
+old gentleman rose to his feet and walked briskly up to the bag.
+
+"Have a care, sir! For Heaven's sake have a care!" cried Mr Bunker; but
+the old gentleman merely bent over the terrible object, and, picking it
+up, exclaimed in bewildered wrath, "It's my bag! Who the devil brought it
+here, and what's the meaning of this d--d nonsense?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" roared Mr Bunker; while like sheepish mushrooms the
+people sprang up on all sides.
+
+"My dear sir," said Mr Bunker, coming up to the old gentleman, and raising
+his hat with his most affable air, "permit me to congratulate you on
+recovering your lost property, and allow me further to introduce my friend
+the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+"Baron von damned-humbug!" cried the old gentleman. "Did you take my bag,
+sir? and if so, are you a thief or a lunatic?"
+
+For an instant even Mr Bunker himself seemed a trifle taken aback; then he
+replied politely, "I am not a thief, sir."
+
+"Then what _'ave_ you been doing?" demanded the sergeant.
+
+"Merely demonstrating to my friend the Baron the extraordinary vigilance
+of the English police."
+
+For a time neither the old gentleman nor the sergeant seemed quite capable
+of taking the same view of the episode as Mr Bunker, and, curiously
+enough, the Baron seemed not disinclined to let his friend extricate
+himself as best he could. No one, however, could resist Mr Bunker, and
+before very long he and the Baron were driving up Bishopsgate Street
+together, with the old gentleman's four-wheeler lumbering in front of
+them.
+
+"Well, Baron, are you satisfied with your morning's instruction?" asked
+his friend.
+
+"A German nobleman is not used to be in soch a position," replied the
+Baron, stiffly.
+
+"You must admit, however, that the object-lesson in the detection of
+anarchy was neatly presented."
+
+"I admit nozing of ze kind," said the Baron, stolidly.
+
+For the rest of the drive he sat obdurately silent. He went to his room
+with the mien of an offended man. During lunch he only opened his lips to
+eat.
+
+On his side Mr Bunker maintained a cheerful composure, and seemed not a
+whit put about by his friend's lack of appreciation.
+
+"Anozzer bottle of claret," said the Baron, gruffly, to a waiter.
+
+Mr Bunker let him consume it entirely by himself, awaiting the results
+with patience. Gradually his face relaxed a little, until all at once,
+when the bump in the bottom of the bottle was beginning to appear above
+the wine, the whole room was startled by a stentorian, "Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"My dear Bonker!" cried the Baron, when he had finished laughing, "forgif
+me! I begin for to see ze moral, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron expressed no further wish for instruction, but, instead, he
+began to show a desire for society.
+
+"Doesn't one fool suffice?" his friend asked.
+
+"Ach, yes, my vise fool; ha, ha, ha! Bot sometimes I haf ze craving for
+peoples, museec, dancing--in vun vord, society, Bonker!"
+
+"But this is not the season, Baron. You wouldn't mix with any but the best
+society, would you?"
+
+"Zere are some nobles in town. In my paper I see Lord zis, Duke of zat, in
+London. Pairhaps my introdogtions might be here now."
+
+This suggestion seemed to strike Mr Bunker unfavourably.
+
+"My company is beginning to pall, is it, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, no, dear Bonker! I vould merely go out jost vunce or tvice. Haf you
+no friends now in town?"
+
+An idea seemed to seize Mr Bunker.
+
+"Let me see the paper," he said.
+
+After perusing it carefully for a little, he at last exclaimed in a tone
+of pleased discovery, "Hullo! I see that Lady Tulliwuddle is giving a
+reception and dance to-night. Most of the smart people in town just now
+are sure to be there. Would you care to go, Baron?"
+
+"Ach, surely," said the Baron, eagerly. "Bot haf you been invited,
+Bonker?"
+
+"Oh, I used to have a standing invitation to Lady Tulliwuddle's dances,
+and I'm certain she would be glad to see me again."
+
+"Can you take me?"
+
+"Of course, my dear Baron, she will be honoured."
+
+"Goot!" cried the Baron. "Ve shall go."
+
+Mr Bunker explained that it was the proper thing to arrive very late, and
+so it was not until after twelve o'clock that they left the Hotel
+Mayonaise for the regions of Belgravia. The Baron, primed with a bottle of
+champagne, and arrayed in a costume which Mr Bunker had assured him was
+the very latest extreme of fashion, and which included a scarlet watered
+silk waistcoat, a pair of white silk socks, and a lavender tie, was in a
+condition of cheerfulness verging closely on hilarity. Mr Bunker, that, as
+he said, he might better serve as a foil to his friend's splendour, went
+more inconspicuously dressed, but was likewise well charged with
+champagne. He too was in his happiest vein, and the vision of the Baron's
+finery appeared to afford him peculiar gratification.
+
+Their hansom stopped in front of a large and gaily lit-up mansion, with an
+awning leading to the door, and a cluster of carriages and footmen by the
+kerbstone. They entered, and having divested themselves of their coats, Mr
+Bunker proposed that they should immediately seek the supper-room.
+
+"Bot should I not be first introduced to mine hostess?" asked the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron! a formal reception of the guests is entirely foreign to
+English etiquette."
+
+"Zo? I did not know zat."
+
+The supper-room was crowded, and having secured a table with some
+difficulty, Mr Bunker entered immediately into conversation with a
+solitary young gentleman who was consuming a plate of oysters. Before they
+had exchanged six sentences the young man had entirely succumbed to Mr
+Bunker's address, aided possibly by the young man's supper.
+
+"Permit me to introduce my friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, a
+nobleman strange as yet to England, but renowned throughout his native
+land alike for his talents and his lofty position," said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Ach, my good friend," exclaimed the Baron, grasping the young man's hand,
+"das ist Bonker's vat you call nonsense; bot I am delighted, zehr
+delighted, to meet you, and if you gom to Bavaria you most shoot vid me!
+Bravo! Ha!"
+
+From which it may be gathered that the Baron was in a genial humour.
+
+"Who is that girl?" asked Mr Bunker, pointing to an extremely pretty
+damsel just leaving the room.
+
+"Oh, that's my cousin, Lady Muriel Hilton. She's thought rather pretty, I
+believe," answered the young man.
+
+"Do you mind introducing me?"
+
+"Certainly," said their new friend. "Come along."
+
+As they were passing through the room a little incident occurred that, if
+the Baron's perceptions had been keener, might have given him cause for
+some speculation. Two men standing by the door looked hard at Mr Bunker,
+and then at each other, and as the Baron passed them he heard one say, "It
+looks devilish like him."
+
+"He has shaved, then," said the other.
+
+"Evidently," replied the first speaker; "but I thought he was unlikely to
+appear in any society for some time."
+
+They both laughed, and the Baron heard no more.
+
+When they reached the ballroom the band was striking up a polka, and
+presently Mr Bunker, with his accustomed grace, was tearing round the room
+with Lady Muriel, while the Baron--the delight of all eyes in his red
+waistcoat--led out her sister. In a very short time the other dancers found
+the Baron and his friend's onslaught so vigorous that prudence compelled
+them to take shelter along the wall, and from a safe distance admire the
+evolutions of these two mysterious guests.
+
+Mr Bunker was enlivening the monotony of the polka by the judicious
+introduction of hornpipe steps, while the Baron, his coat-tails high above
+his head, shouted and stamped in his wild career.
+
+"Do stop for a minute, Baron," gasped his fair partner.
+
+"Himmel, nein!" roared the Baron. "I haf gom here for to dance! Ha,
+Bonker, ha!"
+
+At last Lady Muriel had to stop through sheer exhaustion, but Mr Bunker,
+merely letting her go, pursued his solitary way, double-shuffling and
+kicking unimpeded.
+
+The Baron stopped, breathless, to admire him. Round and round he went, the
+only figure in the middle of the room, his arms akimbo, his feet
+rat-tatting and kicking to the music, while high above the band resounded
+his friend's shouts of "Bravo, Bonker! Wunderschoen! Gott in himmel,
+higher, higher!" till at length, missing the wall in an attempt to find
+support, the Baron dropped with a thud into a sitting posture and
+continued his demonstrations from the floor.
+
+Meanwhile their alarmed hostess was holding a hasty consultation with her
+husband, and when the music at last stopped and Mr Bunker was advancing
+with his most courteous air towards his late partner, Lord Tulliwuddle
+stepped up to him and touched his arm.
+
+"May I speak to you, sir?" he said.
+
+"Certainly," replied Mr Bunker. "I shall be honoured. Excuse me for one
+moment, Lady Muriel."
+
+"At whose invitation have you come here to-night?" demanded his host,
+sternly.
+
+"I have the pleasure of addressing Lord Tulliwuddle, have I not?"
+
+"You have, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker bent towards him and whispered something in his ear.
+
+"From Scotland Yard?" exclaimed his lordship.
+
+"Hush!" said Mr Bunker, glancing cautiously round the room, and then he
+added, with an air of impressive gravity, "You have a bathroom on the
+third floor, I believe?"
+
+"I have," replied his host in great surprise.
+
+"Has it a bell?"
+
+"No, I believe not."
+
+"Ah, I thought so. If you will favour me by coming up-stairs for a minute,
+my Lord, you will avoid a serious private scandal. Say nothing about it at
+present to any one."
+
+In blank astonishment and some alarm Lord Tulliwuddle went up with him to
+the third floor, where the house was still and the sounds of revelry
+reached faintly.
+
+"What does this mean, sir?" he asked.
+
+"If I am right in my conjectures you will need no explanation from me, my
+Lord."
+
+His lordship opened a door, and turning on an electric light, revealed a
+small and ordinary-looking bathroom.
+
+"Ha, no bell--excellent!" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"What are you doing with the key?" exclaimed his host.
+
+"Good night, my Lord. I shall tell them to send up breakfast at nine,"
+said Mr Bunker, and stepping quickly out, he shut and locked the door.
+
+A minute later he was back in the ballroom looking anxiously for the
+Baron, but that nobleman was nowhere to be seen.
+
+"The devil!" he said to himself. "Can they have tackled him too?"
+
+But as he ran downstairs a gust of cheerful laughter set his mind at ease.
+
+"Ha, ha, ha! Vere is old Bonker? He also vill shoot vid me!"
+
+"Here I am, my dear Baron," he exclaimed gaily, as he tracked the voice
+into the supper-room.
+
+"Ach, mine dear Bonker!" cried the Baron, folding him in his muscular
+embrace, "I haf here met friends, ve are merry! Ve drink to Bavaria, to
+England, to everyzing!"
+
+The "friends" consisted of two highly amused young men and two
+half-scandalised, half-hysterical ladies, into the midst of whose
+supper-table the Baron had projected himself with infectious hilarity.
+They all looked up with great curiosity at Mr Bunker, but that gentleman
+was not in the least put about. He bowed politely to the table generally,
+and took his friend by the arm.
+
+"It is time we were going, Baron, I'm afraid," he said.
+
+"Vat for? Ah, not yet, Bonker, not yet. I am enjoying myself down to ze
+floor. I most dance again, Bonker, jost vunce more," pleaded the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron, the noblemen of highest rank must always leave first, and
+people are talking of going now. Come along, old man."
+
+"Ha, is zat so?" said the Baron. "Zen vill I go. Good night!" he cried,
+waving his hand to the room generally. "Ven you gom to Bavaria you most
+all shoot vid me. Bravo, my goot Bonker! Ha! ha!"
+
+As they turned away from the table, one of the young men, who had been
+looking very hard at Mr Bunker, rose and touched his sleeve.
+
+"I say, aren't you----?" he began.
+
+"Possibly I am," interrupted Mr Bunker, "only I haven't the slightest
+recollection of the fact."
+
+An astonished lady was indicated by Mr Bunker as the hostess, and to her
+the Baron bade an affectionate adieu. He handed a sovereign to the
+footman, embraced the butler, and as they sped eastwards in their hansom,
+a rousing chorus from the two friends awoke the echoes of Piccadilly.
+
+"Bravo, Bonker! Himmel, I haf enjoyed myself!" sighed the exhausted Baron.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker discussed a twelve o'clock breakfast with the
+relish of men who had done a good night's work. The Baron was full of his
+exploits. "Ze lofly Lady Hilton" and his new "friends" seemed to have made
+a vivid impression.
+
+"Zey vill be in ze Park to-day, of course?" he suggested.
+
+"Possibly," replied Mr Bunker, without any great enthusiasm.
+
+"But surely."
+
+"After a dance it is rather unlikely."
+
+"Ze Lady Hilton did say she vent to ze Park."
+
+"To-day, Baron?"
+
+"I do not remember to-day. I did dance so hard I was not perhaps distinct.
+But I shall go and see."
+
+As Mr Bunker's attempts to throw cold water on this scheme proved quite
+futile, he made a graceful virtue of necessity, dressed himself with care,
+and set out in the afternoon for the Park. They had only walked as far as
+Piccadilly Circus when in the crowd at the corner his eye fell upon a
+familiar figure. It was the burly, red-faced man.
+
+"The devil! Moggridge again!" he muttered.
+
+For a moment he thought they were going to pass unobserved: then the man
+turned his head their way, and Mr Bunker saw him start. He never looked
+over his shoulder, but after walking a little farther he called the
+Baron's attention to a shop window, and they stopped to look at it. Out of
+the corner of his eye he saw Moggridge about twenty yards behind them
+stopping too. He was glancing towards them very doubtfully. Evidently his
+mind was not yet made up, and at once Mr Bunker's fertile brain began to
+revolve plans.
+
+A little farther on they paused before another window, and exactly the
+same thing happened. Then Mr Bunker made up his mind. He looked carefully
+at the cabs, and at last observed a smart-looking young man driving a
+fresh likely horse at a walking pace beside the pavement.
+
+He caught the driver's eye and raised his stick, and turning suddenly to
+the Baron with a gesture of annoyance, exclaimed, "Forgive my rudeness,
+Baron, I'm afraid I must leave you. I had clean forgotten an important
+engagement in the city for this afternoon."
+
+"Appointment in ze city?" said the Baron in considerable surprise. "I did
+not know you had friends in ze city."
+
+"I have just heard from my father's man of business, and I'm afraid it
+would be impolitic not to see him. Do you mind if I leave you here?"
+
+"Surely, my dear fellow, I vould not stop you. Already I feel at home by
+myself."
+
+"Then we shall meet at the hotel before dinner. Good luck with the ladies,
+Baron."
+
+Mr Bunker jumped into the cab, saying only to the driver, "To the city, as
+quick as you can."
+
+"What part, sir?"
+
+"Oh, say the Bank. Hurry up!"
+
+Then as the man whipped up, Mr Bunker had a glimpse of Moggridge hailing
+another cab, and peeping cautiously through the little window at the back
+he saw him starting in hot pursuit. He took five shillings out of his
+pocket and opened the trap-door in the roof.
+
+"Do you see that other cab chasing us, with a red-faced man inside?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker handed his driver the money.
+
+"Get rid of him, then. Take me anywhere through the city you like, and
+when he's off the scent let me know."
+
+"Very good, sir," replied the driver, cracking his whip till his steed
+began to move past the buses and the other cabs like a train.
+
+On they flew, clatter and jingle, twisting like a snipe through the
+traffic. Mr Bunker perceived that he had a good horse and a good driver,
+and he smiled in pleasant excitement. He lit a cigar, leaned his arms on
+the doors, and settled himself to enjoy the race.
+
+The black lions of Trafalgar Square flew by, then the colossal hotels of
+Northumberland Avenue and the railway bridge at Charing Cross, and they
+were going at a gallop along the Embankment. He got swift glimpses of
+other cabs and foot-passengers, the trees seemed to flit past like
+telegraph-posts on a railway, the barges and lighters on the river dropped
+one by one behind them: it was a fair course for a race, with never a
+check before Blackfriar's Bridge.
+
+As they turned into Queen Victoria Street he opened the lid and asked,
+"Are they still in sight?"
+
+"Yes, sir; I'm afraid we ain't gaining much yet. But I'll do it, sir, no
+fears."
+
+Mr Bunker lay back and laughed.
+
+"This is better than the Park," he said to himself.
+
+They had a fine drive up Queen Victoria Street before they plunged into
+the whirlpool of traffic at the Bank. They were slowly making their way
+across when the driver, spying an opening in another stream, abruptly
+wheeled round for Cornhill, and presently they were off again at top
+speed.
+
+"Thrown them off?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"Tried to, sir, but they were too sharp and got clear away too."
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was going to be a stern chase, and laughed again. In
+order that he might not show ostensibly that he was running away, he
+resisted the temptation of having another peep through the back, and
+resigned himself to the chances of the chase.
+
+Through and through the lanes and byways of the city they drove, and after
+each double the answer from the box was always the same. The cab behind
+could not be shaken off.
+
+"Work your way round to Holborn and try a run west," Mr Bunker suggested.
+
+So after a little they struck Newgate Street, and presently their steed
+stretched himself again in Holborn Viaduct.
+
+"Gaining now, cabby?"
+
+"A little, sir, I think."
+
+Mr Bunker sat placidly till they were well along Holborn before he
+inquired again.
+
+"Can't get rid of 'im no 'ow. Afride it ain't much good, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker passed up five shillings more.
+
+"Keep your tail up. You'll do it yet," he exhorted. "Try a turn north; you
+may bother him among the squares."
+
+So they doubled north, and as the evening closed in their wearied horse
+was lashed through a maze of monotonous streets and tarnished Bloomsbury
+Squares. And still the other cab stuck to their trail. But when they
+emerged on the Euston Road, Mr Bunker was as cheerful as ever.
+
+"They can't last much longer," he said to his driver. "Turn up Regent's
+Park way."
+
+A little later he put the usual question and got the same unvarying
+answer.
+
+The horse was evidently beginning to fail, and he saw that this
+chariot-race must soon come to an end. The street-lamps and the shop
+windows were all lit up by this time, and the dusk was pretty thick. It
+seemed to him that he might venture to try his luck on foot, and he began
+to look out for an opening where a cab could not follow.
+
+They were flogging along a noisy stone-paved road where there was little
+other traffic; on one side stood an unbroken row of houses, and on the
+other were small semi-detached villas with little strips of garden about
+them. All at once he saw a doctor's red lamp over the door of one of these
+half villas, and an inspiration came upon him.
+
+"One can always visit a doctor," he said to himself, and smiled in great
+amusement at something in the reflection.
+
+He stopped the cab, handed the man half a sovereign, and saying only,
+"Drive away again, quickly," jumped out, glanced at the name on the plate,
+and pulled the bell. As he waited on the step he saw the other cab stop a
+little way back, and his pursuer emerge.
+
+A frowsy little servant opened the door.
+
+"Is Dr Twiddel at home?" he asked.
+
+"Dr Twiddel's abroad, sir," said the maid.
+
+"No one in at all, then?"
+
+"Dr Billson sees 'is patients, sir--w'en there _his_ any."
+
+"When do you expect Dr Billson?"
+
+"In about an hour, sir, 'e usually comes hin."
+
+"Excellent!" thought Mr Bunker. Aloud he said, "Well, I'm a patient. I'll
+come in and wait."
+
+He stepped in, and the door banged behind him.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VIII.
+
+
+"This w'y, sir," said the maid, and Mr Bunker found himself in the little
+room where this story opened.
+
+The moment he was alone he went to the window and peeped cautiously
+between the slats of the venetian blind.
+
+The street was quiet, both cabs had disappeared, and for a minute or two
+he could see nothing even of Moggridge. Then a figure moved carefully from
+the shelter of a bush a little way down the railings, and, after a quick
+look at the house, stepped back again.
+
+"He means to play the waiting game," said Mr Bunker to himself. "Long may
+you wait, my wary Moggridge!"
+
+He took a rapid survey of the room. He saw the medical library, the rented
+furniture, and the unlit gas-stove; and at last his eye fell upon a box of
+cigarettes. To one of these he helped himself and leaned his back against
+the mantelpiece.
+
+"There must be at least one room at the back," he reflected; "that room
+must have a window, and beyond that window there is all London to turn to.
+Friend Moggridge, I trust you are prepared to spend the evening behind
+your bush."
+
+He had another look through the blind and shook his head.
+
+"A little too light yet,--I'd better wait for a quarter of an hour or so."
+
+To while away the time he proceeded to make a tour of the room, for, as he
+said to himself, when in an unknown country any information may possibly
+come in useful. There was nothing whatever from which he could draw even
+the most superficial deduction till he came to the writing-desk. Here a
+heap of bills were transfixed by a long skewer, and at his first glance at
+the uppermost his face assumed an expression of almost ludicrous
+bewilderment. He actually rubbed his eyes before he looked a second time.
+
+"One dozen shirts," he read, "four under-flannels, four pair socks, one
+dozen handkerchiefs, two sleeping-suits--marked Francis Beveridge! the
+account rendered to Dr G. Twiddel! What in the name of wonderment is the
+meaning of this?"
+
+He sat down with the bill in his hand and gazed hard at it.
+
+"Precisely my outfit," he said to himself.
+
+"Am I--Does it----? What a rum thing!"
+
+He sat for about ten minutes looking hard at the floor. Then he burst out
+laughing, resumed in a moment his air of philosophical opportunism, and
+set about a further search of the desk. He looked at the bills and seemed
+to find nothing more to interest him. Then he glanced at one or two
+letters in the drawers, threw the first few back again, and at last paused
+over one.
+
+"Twiddel to Billson," he said to himself. "This may possibly be worth
+looking at."
+
+It was dated more than a month back from the town of Fogelschloss.
+
+"Dear Tom," it ran, "we are having an A 1 time. Old Welsh is in splendid
+form, doing the part to perfection. He has never given himself away yet,
+not even when drunk, which, I am sorry to say, he has been too often. But
+then old Welsh is so funny when he is drunk that it makes him all the more
+like the original, or at least what the original is supposed to be.
+
+"Of course we don't dare to venture into places where we would see too
+many English. This is quite an amusing place for a German town, some baths
+and a kind of a gambling-table, and some pretty girls--for Germans. There
+is a sporting aristocrat here, in an old castle, who is very friendly, and
+is much impressed with Welsh's account of his family plate and
+deer-forest, and has asked us once or twice to come out and see him. We
+are no end of swells, I assure you.
+
+"Ta, ta, old chap. Hope the practice prospers in your hands. Don't kill
+_all_ the patients before I come back.--Ever thine,
+
+                                                          GEORGE TWIDDEL."
+
+"From this I conclude that Dr Twiddel is on the festive side of forty," he
+reflected; "there are elements of mystery and a general atmosphere of
+alcohol about it, but that's all, I'm afraid."
+
+He put it back in the drawer, but the bill he slipped into his pocket.
+
+"And now," thought he, "it is time I made the first move."
+
+After waiting for a minute or two to make sure that everything was quiet,
+he gently stepped out into a little linoleum-carpeted hall. On the right
+hand was the front door, on the left two others that must, he thought,
+open into rooms on the back. He chose the nearer at a venture, and entered
+boldly. It was quite dark. He closed the door again softly, struck a
+match, and looked round the room. It seemed to be Dr Twiddel's dining- and
+sitting-room.
+
+"Pipes, photographs, well-sat-in chairs," he observed, "_and_ a window."
+
+He pulled aside the blind and looked out into the darkness of a strip of
+back-garden. For a minute he listened intently, but no sound came from the
+house. Then he threw up the sash and scrambled out. It was quite dark by
+this time: he was enclosed between two rows of vague, black houses, with
+bright windows here and there, and chimney-cans faintly cutting their
+uncouth designs among a few pale London stars. The space between was
+filled with the two lines of little gardens and the ranks of walls, and in
+the middle the black chasm of a railway cutting.
+
+A frightened cat bolted before him as he hurried down to the foot of the
+strip, but that was all the life he saw. He looked over the wall right
+into the deep crevasse. A little way off, on the one hand, hung a cluster
+of signal-lights, and the shining rails reflected them all along to the
+mouth of a tunnel on the other. Turning his head this way and that, there
+was nothing to be seen anywhere else but garden wall after garden wall.
+
+"It's a choice between a hurdle-race through these gardens, a cat-walk
+along this wall, and a descent into the cutting," he reflected. "The walls
+look devilish high and the cutting devilish deep. Hang me if I know which
+road to take."
+
+While he was still debating this somewhat perplexing question, he felt the
+ground begin to quiver under him. Through the hum of London there
+gradually arose a louder roar, and in a minute the head-lights of an
+engine flashed out of the tunnel. One after another a string of bright
+carriages followed it, each more slowly than the carriage in front, till
+the whole train was at a standstill below him with the red signal-lamp
+against it.
+
+In an instant his decision was taken. At the peril of life and garments he
+scrambled down the rocky bank, picking as he went an empty first-class
+compartment, and just as the train began to move again he swung himself up
+and sprang into a carriage.
+
+Unfortunately he had chosen the wrong one in his haste, and as he opened
+the door he saw a comical vision of a stout little old gentleman huddling
+into the farther corner in the most dire consternation.
+
+"Who are you, sir? What do you want, sir?" spluttered the old gentleman.
+"If you come any nearer me, sir--one step, sir!--I shall instantly
+communicate with the guard! I have no money about me. Go away, sir!"
+
+"I regret to learn that you have no money," replied Mr Bunker,
+imperturbably; "but I am sorry that I am not at present in a condition to
+offer a loan."
+
+He sat down and smiled amicably, but the little gentleman was not to be
+quieted so easily. Seeing that no violence was apparently intended, his
+fright changed into respectable indignation.
+
+"You needn't try to be funny with me, sir. You are committing an illegal
+act. You have placed yourself in an uncommonly serious position, sir."
+
+"Indeed, sir?" replied Mr Bunker. "I myself should have imagined that by
+remaining on the rails I should have been much more seriously situated."
+
+The old gentleman looked at him like an angry small dog that longs to bite
+if it only dared.
+
+"What is the meaning of this illegal intrusion?" he demanded. "Who are
+you? Where did you come from?"
+
+"I had the misfortune, sir," explained Mr Bunker, politely, "to drop my
+hat out of the window of a neighbouring carriage. While I was picking it
+up the train started, and I had to enter the first compartment I could
+find. I am sorry that my entry frightened you."
+
+"Frightened me!" spluttered the old gentleman. "I am not afraid, sir. I am
+an honest man who need fear no one, sir. I do not believe you dropped your
+hat. It is perfectly uninjured."
+
+"It may be news to you, sir," replied Mr Bunker, "that by gently yet
+firmly passing the sleeve of your coat round your hat in the direction of
+the nap, it is possible to restore the gloss. Thus," and suiting the
+action to the word he took off his hat, drew his coat-sleeve across it,
+and with a genial smile at the old gentleman, replaced it on his head.
+
+But his neighbour was evidently of that truculent disposition which merely
+growls at blandishments. He snorted and replied testily, "That is all very
+well, sir, but I don't believe a word of it."
+
+"If you prefer it, then, I fell off the telegraph wires in an attempt to
+recover my boots."
+
+The old gentleman became purple in the face.
+
+"Have a care, sir! I am a director of this company, and at the next
+station I shall see that you give a proper account of yourself. And here
+we are, sir. I trust you have a more credible story in readiness."
+
+As he spoke they drew up beside an underground platform, and the irascible
+old gentleman, with a very threatening face that was not yet quite cleared
+of alarm, bustled out in a prodigious hurry. Mr Bunker lay back in his
+seat and replied with a smile, "I shall be delighted to tell any story
+within the bounds of strict propriety."
+
+But the moment he saw the irate director disappear in the crowd he whipped
+out too, and with the least possible delay transferred himself into a
+third-class carriage.
+
+From his seat near the window he watched the old gentleman hurry back with
+three officials at his heels, and hastily search each first-class
+compartment in turn. The last one was so near him that he could hear his
+friend say, "Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!" And with that
+the four of them rushed off to the barrier to intercept or pursue this
+suspicious character. Then the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr
+Bunker remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself, "Well,
+whoever I am, it would seem I'm rather difficult to catch."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IX.
+
+
+Mr Bunker arrived at the Hotel Mayonaise in what, from his appearance, was
+an unusually reflective state of mind for him. The other visitors, many of
+whom had begun to regard him and his noble friend with great interest, saw
+him pass through the crowd in the hall and about the lifts with a
+thoughtful air. He went straight to the Baron's room. Outside the door he
+paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile, and then burst
+gaily in upon his friend.
+
+"Well, my dear Baron!" he cried, "what luck in the Park?"
+
+The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English novel. He laid down
+his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.
+
+"I do not onderstand your English vays," he replied.
+
+Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much amiss, nor was he without
+a suspicion of the cause. He laughed, however, and asked, "What's the
+matter, old man?"
+
+"I vent to ze Park," said the Baron, with a solemn deliberation that
+evidently came hardly to him. "I entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you
+know, viz taste and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked under
+ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people. Goddam!"
+
+"My dear Baron!" expostulated Mr Bunker.
+
+The Baron resumed his intense composure with a great effort.
+
+"Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit ze ozzer Lady Hilton
+and vun old lady. I raise my hat--no bow from zem. 'Pairhaps,' I zink, 'zey
+see me not.' Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I gomed up and
+again I raise my hat and I say, 'How do you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you
+are regovered from ze dance.' Zat was gorrect, vas it not?"
+
+"Perfectly," replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.
+
+"Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer Lady Hilton cry, 'Ach, zat
+German man!' And vy did ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, 'Send him
+avay! How dare you? Insolence!' and suchlike vords?"
+
+"What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Remargable!" roared the justly incensed Baron. "Is it not more zan
+_remargable?_ Donner und blitzen! Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English
+vord so bad enoff for soch conduct."
+
+"It must have been a joke," his friend suggested, soothingly.
+
+"Vun dashed bad joke, zen! Ze gentleman said to me, 'Get out of zis, you
+rasgal!' 'Vat mean you, sare?' say I. 'You know quite vell,' said he.
+'Glear out!' So I gave him my card and tell him I would be glad to see his
+frient zat he should send, for zat I vas not used to be called zo. Zen I
+raise my hat to ze Lady Hilton and say, 'Adieu, madame, I know now ze
+English lady,' and I valk on. Himmel!"
+
+"What a very extraordinary affair, Baron!"
+
+The Baron grunted with inarticulate indignation and nearly pulled his
+moustache out by the roots. Abruptly he broke out again, "English ladies?
+I do not believe zey are ladies! Never haf I been treated zo! Vat do you
+mean, Bonker, by taking me among soch peoples?"
+
+"_I_, my dear Baron? It was not I who introduced you to the Hiltons. I
+never saw them before."
+
+The difficulty of attaching any blame to his friend seemed to have
+anything but a soothing effect on the Baron. You could almost fancy that
+you heard his tail lash the floor.
+
+"Zat vas not all," he continued, after a short struggle with his wrath. "I
+valked on, and soon I see two of ze frients I made last night at supper."
+
+"Which two?"
+
+"Ze yong man zat spoke to you ven you rise from ze table, and vun of ze
+ladies. Again I raise my hat and say, 'How do you do? I hope zat you are
+regovered from ze dance.' Zat is gorrect, you say?"
+
+"Under most circumstances."
+
+"Ze man stared at me, and ze voman--I vill not say lady--says to him zo zat
+I can hear, 'Zat awful German!' Ze man says, 'Zo it is,' and laughed. 'I
+haf ze pleasure of meeting you last night at ze Lady Tollyvoddle,' I said.
+'I remember,' he said; 'but I haf no vish to meet you again.' I take out
+my card to gif him, but he only said, 'Go avay, or I vill call ze police!'
+'Ze police! To me, Baron von Blitzenberg! Teufel!' I replied."
+
+"And that was all, Baron?" asked Mr Bunker, in what seemed rather like a
+tone of relief.
+
+"No; suddenly he did turn back and said, 'By ze vay, who vas zat viz you
+last night?' To vich I replied, 'If you address me again, my man, I vill
+call ze police. Go avay!' "
+
+"Bravo, Baron! Ha, ha, ha! Excellent!" laughed Mr Bunker.
+
+This applause served to reinstate the Baron a little in his own good
+opinion. He laughed too, though rather noisily than heartily, and suddenly
+became grave again.
+
+"Vat means zis, Bonker? Vat haf I done? Vy should zey treat me zo?"
+
+"Well, you see, my dear Baron," his friend explained, "I ought to have
+warned you that it is not usual in England to address ladies you have met
+at a dance without some direct invitation on their part. At the same time,
+it is evident that the Hiltons and the other man, who of course must be
+connected with the Foreign Office, are aware of some sudden strain in the
+diplomatic relations between England and Germany, which as yet is unknown
+to the public. Your ancient name and your high rank have naturally led
+them to conclude that you are an agent of the German Government, and an
+international significance was of course attached to your presence in the
+Park. I certainly think they took a most outrageous advantage of a
+trifling detail of etiquette to repulse you; but then you must remember,
+Baron, that their families might have been seriously compromised with the
+Government if they had been seen with so prominent a member of the German
+aristocracy in the middle of Hyde Park."
+
+"Zo?" said the Baron, thoughtfully. "I begin to onderstand. My name, as
+you say, is cairtainly distinguished. Bot zen should I remain in London?"
+
+"Just what I was wondering, Baron. What do you say to a trip down to St
+Egbert's-on-Sea? It's a very select watering-place, and we might spend a
+week or two there very pleasantly."
+
+"Egxellent!" said the Baron; "ven shall we start?"
+
+"To-morrow morning."
+
+"Goot! zo let it be. I am tired of London and of ze English ladies'
+manners. Police to ze Baron von Blitzenberg! Ve shall go to St Egbert's,
+Bonker!"
+
+
+
+
+
+                                PART III.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Baron and Mr Bunker walked arm-in-arm along the esplanade at St
+Egbert's-on-Sea.
+
+"Aha!" said the Baron, "zis is more fresh zan London!"
+
+"Yes," replied his friend; "we are now in the presence of that stimulating
+element which provides patriotic Britons with music-hall songs, and
+dyspeptic Britons with an appetite."
+
+A stirring breeze swept down the long white esplanade, threatening hats
+and troubling skirts; the pale-green south-coast sea rumbled up the
+shingle; the day was bright and pleasant for the time of year, and drove
+the Baron's mischances from his head; altogether it seemed to Mr Bunker
+that the omens were good. They were both dressed in the smartest of tweed
+suits, and walked jauntily, like men who knew their own value. Every now
+and then, as they passed a pretty face, the Baron would say, "Aha, Bonker!
+zat is not so bad, eh?"
+
+And Mr Bunker, who seemed not unwilling that his friend should find some
+entertaining distraction in St Egbert's, would look at the owners of these
+faces with a prospector's eye and his own unrivalled assurance.
+
+They had walked up and down three or four times, when a desire for a
+different species of diversion began to overtake the Baron. It was the one
+kind of desire that the Baron never even tried to wrestle with.
+
+"My vriend Bonker," said he, "is it not somevere about time for loncheon,
+eh?"
+
+"I should say it was precisely the hour."
+
+"Ha, ha! zen, let us gom and eat. Himmel, zis sea is ze fellow to make von
+hungry!"
+
+The Baron had taken a private suite of rooms on the first floor of the
+best hotel in St Egbert's, and after a very substantial lunch Mr Bunker
+stretched himself on the luxurious sitting-room sofa and announced his
+intention of having a nap.
+
+"I shall go out," said the Baron. "You vill not gom?"
+
+"I shall leave you to make a single-handed conquest," replied Mr Bunker.
+"Besides, I have a little matter I want to look into."
+
+So the Baron arranged his hat airily, at what he had perceived to be the
+most fashionable and effective English angle, and strutted off to the
+esplanade.
+
+It was about two hours later that he burst excitedly into the room,
+crying, "Aha, mine Bonker! I haf disgovered zomzing!" and then he stopped
+in some surprise. "Ello, vat make you, my vriend?"
+
+His friend, in fact, seemed to be somewhat singularly employed. Through a
+dense cloud of tobacco-smoke you could just pick him out of the depths of
+an armchair, his feet resting on the mantelpiece, while his lap and all
+the floor round about were covered with immense books. The Baron's
+curiosity was still further excited by observing that they consisted
+principally of a London and a St Egbert's directory, several volumes of a
+Dictionary of National Biography, and one or two peerages and county
+family compilations.
+
+He looked up with a smile. "You may well wonder, my dear Baron. The fact
+is, I am looking for a name."
+
+"A name! vat name?"
+
+"Alas! if I knew what it was I should stop looking, and I confess I'm
+rather sick of the job."
+
+"Vich vay do you look, zen?"
+
+"Simply by wading my way through all the lists of names I could steal or
+borrow. It's devilish dry work."
+
+"Ze name of a vriend, is it?"
+
+"Yes; but I'm afraid I must wait till it comes. And what is this
+discovery, Baron? A petticoat, I presume. After all, they are the only
+things worth finding," and he shut the books one after another.
+
+"A petticoat with ze fairest girl inside it!" exclaimed the Baron,
+rapturously.
+
+"Your eyes seem to have been singularly penetrating, Baron. Was she dark
+or fair, tall or short, fat or slender, widow, wife, or maid?"
+
+"Fair, viz blue eyes, short pairhaps but not too short, slender as
+a--a--drom-stick, and I vould say a maid; at least I see vun stout old lady
+mit her, mozzer and daughter I soppose."
+
+"And did this piece of perfection seem to appreciate you?"
+
+"Vy should I know? Zey are ze real ladies and pairtend not to see me, bot
+I zink zey notice me all ze same. Not 'lady vriends,' Bonker, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+Mr Bunker laughed with reminiscent amusement, and inquired, "And how did
+the romance end--in a cab, Baron?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Baron; "better zan zat, Bonker--moch better!"
+
+Mr Bunker raised his eyebrows.
+
+"It's hardly the time of year for a romance to end in a bathing-machine.
+You followed the divinity to her rented heaven, perhaps?"
+
+The Baron bent forward and answered in a stage whisper, "Zey live in zis
+hotel, Bonker!"
+
+"Then I can only wish you joy, Baron, and if my funds allow me, send her a
+wedding present."
+
+"Ach, not quite so fast, my vriend! I am not caught so easy."
+
+"My dear fellow, a week at close quarters is sufficient to net any man."
+
+"Ven I marry," replied the Baron, "moch most be considered. A von
+Blitzenberg does not mate viz every vun."
+
+"A good many families have made the same remark, but one does not always
+meet the fathers-in-law."
+
+"Ha, ha! ve shall see. Bot, Bonker, she is lofly!"
+
+The Baron awaited dinner with even more than his usual ardour. He dressed
+with the greatest care, and at an absurdly early hour was already urging
+his friend to come down and take their places. Indeed after a time there
+was no withholding him, and they finally took their seats in the
+dining-room before anybody else.
+
+At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably long intervals a few
+people dropped in and began to study their menus and glance with an air of
+uncomfortable suspicion at their neighbours.
+
+"I vonder vill she gom," he said three or four times at least.
+
+"Console yourself, my dear Baron," his friend would reply; "they always
+come. That's seldom the difficulty."
+
+And the Baron would dally with his victuals in the most unwonted fashion,
+and growl at the rapidity with which the courses followed one another.
+
+"Do zey suppose ve vish to eat like----?" he began, and then laying his hand
+on his friend's sleeve, he whispered, "She goms!"
+
+Mr Bunker turned his head just in time to see in the doorway the Countess
+of Grillyer and the Lady Alicia a Fyre.
+
+"Is she not fair?" asked the Baron, excitedly.
+
+"I entirely approve of your taste, Baron. I have only once seen any one
+quite like her before."
+
+With a gratified smile the Baron filled his glass, while his friend seemed
+amused by some humorous reflection of his own.
+
+The Lady Alicia and her mother had taken their seats at a table a little
+way off, and at first their eyes never happened to turn in the direction
+of the two friends. But at last, after looking at the ceiling, the carpet,
+the walls, the other people, everything else in the room it seemed, Lady
+Alicia's glance fell for an instant on the Baron. That nobleman looked as
+interesting as a mouthful of roast duck would permit him, but the glance
+passed serenely on to Mr Bunker. For a moment it remained serene; suddenly
+it became startled and puzzled, and at that instant Mr Bunker turned his
+own eyes full upon her, smiled slightly, and raised his glass to his lips.
+
+The glance fell, and the Lady Alicia blushed down to the diamonds in her
+necklace.
+
+The Baron insisted on lingering over his dinner till the charmer was
+finished, and so by a fortuitous coincidence they left the room
+immediately behind the Countess. The Baron passed them in the passage, and
+a few yards farther he looked round for his friend, and the Countess
+turned to look for her daughter.
+
+They saw Lady Alicia following with an intensely unconscious expression,
+while Mr Bunker was in the act of returning to the dining-room.
+
+"I wanted to secure a table for breakfast," he explained.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The Baron was in high hopes of seeing the fair unknown at breakfast, but
+it seemed she must be either breakfasting in her own room or lying long
+abed.
+
+"I think I shall go out for a little constitutional," said Mr Bunker, when
+he had finished. "I suppose the hotel has a stronger attraction for you."
+
+"Ach, yes, I shall remain," his friend replied. "Pairhaps I may see zem."
+
+"Take care then, Baron!"
+
+"I shall not propose till you return, Bonker!"
+
+"No," said Mr Bunker to himself, "I don't think you will."
+
+Just outside St Egbert's there is a high breezy sweep of downs, falling
+suddenly to a chalky seaward cliff. It overlooks the town and the
+undulating inland country and a great spread of shining sea; and even
+without a spy-glass you can see sail after sail and smoke-wreath after
+smoke-wreath go by all day long.
+
+But Mr Bunker had apparently walked there for other reasons than to see
+the view. He did stop once or twice, but it was only to scan the downs
+ahead, and at the sight of a fluttering skirt he showed no interest in
+anything else, but made a straight line for its owner. For her part, the
+lady seemed to await his coming. She gathered her countenance into an
+expression of as perfect unconcern as a little heightening of her colour
+would allow her, and returned his salute with rather a distant bow. But Mr
+Bunker was not to be damped by this hint of barbed wire. He held out his
+hand and exclaimed cordially, "My dear Lady Alicia! this is charming of
+you!"
+
+"Of course you understand, Mr Beveridge, it's only----"
+
+"Perfectly," he interrupted, gaily; "I understand everything I should and
+nothing I shouldn't. In fact, I have altered little, except in the
+trifling matter of a beard, a moustache or two, and, by the way, a name."
+
+"A name?"
+
+"I am now Francis Bunker, but as much at your service as ever."
+
+"But why--I mean, have you really changed your name?"
+
+"Circumstances have changed it, just as circumstances shaved me."
+
+Lady Alicia made a great endeavour to look haughty. "I do not quite
+understand, Mr----"
+
+"Bunker--a temporary title, but suggestive, and simple for the tradesmen."
+
+"I do not understand your conduct. Why have you changed your name?"
+
+"Why not?"
+
+This retort was so evidently unanswerable that Lady Alicia changed her
+inquiry.
+
+"Where have you been?"
+
+"Till yesterday, in London."
+
+"Then you didn't go to your own parish?" she demanded, reproachfully.
+
+"There were difficulties," he replied; "in fact, a certified lunatic is
+not in great demand as a parish priest. They seem to prefer them
+uncertified."
+
+"But didn't you try?"
+
+"Hard, but it was no use. The bishop was out of town, and I had to wait
+till his return; besides, my position was somewhat insecure. I have had at
+least two remarkable escapes since I saw you last."
+
+"Are you safe here?" she asked, hurriedly.
+
+"With your consent, yes."
+
+She looked a little troubled. "I don't know that I am doing right, Mr
+Bev--Bunker, but----"
+
+"Thank you, my friend," he interrupted, tenderly.
+
+"Don't," she began, hastily. "You mustn't talk like----"
+
+"Francis Beveridge?" he interrupted. "The trouble is, this rascal Bunker
+bears an unconscionably awkward resemblance to our old friend."
+
+"You must see that it is quite--ridiculous."
+
+"Absurd," he agreed,--"perfectly preposterous. I laugh whenever I think of
+it!"
+
+Poor Lady Alicia felt like a man at a telephone who has been connected
+with the wrong person. Again she made a desperate shift to fall back on a
+becoming pride.
+
+"What do you mean?" she demanded.
+
+"If I mean anything at all, which is always rather doubtful," he replied,
+candidly, "I mean that Beveridge and his humbug were creatures of an
+occasion, just as Bunker and his are of another. The one occasion is
+passed, and with it the first entertaining gentleman has vanished into
+space. The second gentleman will doubtless follow when his time is up. In
+fact, I may be said to be a series of dissolving views."
+
+"Then isn't what you said true?"
+
+"I'm afraid you must be more specific; you see I've talked so much."
+
+"What you said about yourself--and your work."
+
+He shook his head humorously. "I have no means of checking my statements."
+
+She looked at him in a troubled way, and then her eyes fell.
+
+"At least," she said, "you won't--you mustn't treat me as--as you did."
+
+"As Beveridge did? Certainly not; Bunker is the soul of circumspection.
+Besides, he doesn't require to get out of an asylum."
+
+"Then it was only to get away?" she cried, turning scarlet.
+
+"Let us call it so," he replied, looking pensively out to sea.
+
+It seemed wiser to Lady Alicia to change the subject.
+
+"Who is the friend you are staying with?" she asked, suddenly.
+
+"My old friend the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, and your own most recent
+admirer," he replied. "I am at present living with, in fact I may say
+upon, him."
+
+"Does he know?"
+
+"If you meet him, you had perhaps better not inquire into my past
+history."
+
+"I meant, does he know about--about your knowing me?"
+
+"Bless them!" thought Mr Bunker; "one forgets they're not _always_
+thinking about us!"
+
+"My noble friend has no idea that I have been so fortunate," he replied.
+
+Lady Alicia looked relieved. "Who is he?" she asked.
+
+"A German nobleman of great wealth, long descent, and the most
+accommodating disposition. He is at present exploring England under my
+guidance, and I flatter myself that he has already seen and done a number
+of things that are not on most programmes."
+
+Lady Alicia was silent for a minute. Then she said with a little
+hesitation, "Didn't you get a letter from me?"
+
+"A letter? No," he replied, in some surprise.
+
+"I wrote twice--because you asked me to, and I thought--I wondered if you
+were safe."
+
+"To what address did you write?"
+
+"The address you gave me."
+
+"And what was that?" he asked, still evidently puzzled.
+
+"You said care of the Archbishop of York would find you."
+
+Mr Bunker abruptly looked the other way.
+
+"By Jove!" he said, as if lost in speculation, "I must find out what the
+matter was. I can't imagine why they haven't been forwarded."
+
+Lady Alicia appeared a little dissatisfied.
+
+"Was that a _real_ address?" she asked, suddenly.
+
+"Perfectly," he replied; "as real as Pentonville Jail or the House of
+Commons." ("And as likely to find me," he added to himself.)
+
+Lady Alicia seemed to hesitate whether to pursue the subject further, but
+in the middle of her debate Mr Bunker asked, "By the way, has Lady
+Grillyer any recollection of having seen me before?"
+
+"No, she doesn't remember you at all."
+
+"Then we shall meet as strangers?"
+
+"Yes, I think it would be better; don't you?"
+
+"It will save our imaginations certainly."
+
+Lady Alicia looked at him as though she expected something more; but as
+nothing came, she said, "I think it's time I went back."
+
+"For the present then _au revoir_, my dear Alicia. I beg your pardon, Lady
+Alicia; it was that rascal Beveridge who made the slip. It now remains to
+make your formal acquaintance."
+
+"You--you mustn't try!"
+
+"The deuce is in these people beginning with B!" he laughed. "They seem to
+do things without trying."
+
+He pressed her hand, raised his hat, and started back to the town. She, on
+her part, lingered to let him get a clear start of her, and her blue eyes
+looked as though a breeze had blown across and ruffled them.
+
+Mr Bunker had reached the esplanade, and was sauntering easily back
+towards the hotel, looking at the people and smiling now and then to
+himself, when he observed with considerable astonishment two familiar
+figures strolling towards him. They were none other than the Baron and the
+Countess, engaged in animated conversation, and apparently on the very
+best terms with each other. At the sight of him the Baron beamed joyfully.
+
+"Aha, Bonker, so you haf returned!" he cried. "In ze meanvile I haf had
+vun great good fortune. Let me present my friend Mr Bonker, ze Lady
+Grillyer."
+
+The Countess bowed most graciously, and raising a pair of
+tortoise-shell-rimmed eye-glasses mounted on a stem of the same material,
+looked at Mr Bunker through these with a by no means disapproving glance.
+
+At first sight it was evident that Lady Alicia must "take after" her noble
+father. The Countess was aquiline of nose, large of person, and emphatic
+in her voice and manner.
+
+"You are the 'showman,' Mr Bunker, are you not?" she said, with a smile
+for which many of her acquaintances would have given a tolerable
+percentage of their incomes.
+
+"It seems," replied Mr Bunker, smiling back agreeably, "that the Baron is
+now the showman, and I must congratulate him on his first venture."
+
+For an instant the Countess seemed a trifle taken aback. It was a
+considerable number of years since she had been addressed in precisely
+this strain, and in fact at no time had her admirers ventured quite so
+dashingly to the attack. But there was something entirely irresistible in
+Mr Bunker's manner, partly perhaps because he never made the mistake of
+heeding a first rebuff. The Countess coughed, then smiled a little again,
+and said to the Baron, "You didn't tell me that your showman supplied the
+little speeches as well."
+
+"I could not know it; zere has not before been ze reason for a pretty
+speech," responded the Baron, gallantly.
+
+If Lady Grillyer had been anybody else, one would have said that she
+actually giggled. Certainly a little wave of scandalised satisfaction
+rippled all over her.
+
+"Oh, really!" she cried, "I don't know which of you is the worst
+offender."
+
+All this time, as may be imagined, Mr Bunker had been in a state of high
+mystification at his friend's unusual adroitness.
+
+"How the deuce did he get hold of her?" he said to himself.
+
+In the next pause the Baron solved the riddle.
+
+"You vil vunder, Bonker," he said, "how I did gom to know ze Lady
+Grillyer."
+
+"I envied, certainly," replied his friend, with a side glance at the now
+purring Countess.
+
+"She vas of my introdogtions, bot till after you vent out zis morning I
+did not lairn her name. Zen I said to myself, 'Ze sun shines, Himmel is
+kind! Here now is ze fair Lady Grillyer--my introdogtion!' and zo zat is
+how, you see."
+
+"To think of the Baron being here and our only finding each other out by
+chance!" said the Countess.
+
+"By a fortunate providence for me!" exclaimed the Baron, fervently.
+
+"Baron," said the Countess, trying hard to look severe, "you must really
+keep some of these nice speeches for my daughter. Which reminds me, I
+wonder where she can be?"
+
+"Ach, here she goms!" cried the Baron.
+
+"Why, how did you know her?" asked the Countess.
+
+"I--I did see her last night at dinnair," explained the Baron, turning red.
+
+"Ah, of course, I remember," replied the Countess, in a matter-of-fact
+tone; but her motherly eye was sharp, and already it began to look on the
+highly eligible Rudolph with more approval than ever.
+
+"My daughter Alicia, the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg, Mr Bunker," she
+said the next moment.
+
+The Baron went nearly double as he bowed, and the flourish of his hat
+stirred the dust on the esplanade. Mr Bunker's salutation was less
+profound, but his face expressed an almost equal degree of interested
+respect. Her mother thought that when one of the gentlemen was a nobleman
+with an indefinite number of thousands a-year and the other a person of so
+much discrimination, Lady Alicia's own bow might have been a trifle less
+reserved. But then even the most astute mother cannot know the reasons for
+everything.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+"Alicia," said the Countess, "it was really a most fortunate coincidence
+our meeting the Baron at St Egbert's."
+
+She paused for a reply and looked expectantly at her daughter. It was not
+the first time in the course of the morning that Lady Alicia had listened
+to similar observations, and perhaps that was why she answered somewhat
+listlessly, "Yes, wasn't it?"
+
+The Countess frowned, and continued with emphasis, "I consider him one of
+the most agreeable and best informed young men I have ever met."
+
+"Is he?" said Lady Alicia, absently.
+
+"I wonder, Alicia, you hadn't noticed it," her mother observed, severely;
+"you talked with him most of the afternoon. I should have thought that no
+observant, well-bred girl would have failed to have been struck with his
+air and conversation."
+
+"I--I thought him very pleasant, mamma."
+
+"I am glad you had so much sense. He is _extremely_ pleasant."
+
+As Lady Alicia made no reply, the Countess felt obliged to continue his
+list of virtues herself.
+
+"He is of most excellent family, Alicia, one of the oldest in Bavaria. I
+don't remember what I heard his income was in pfennigs, or whatever they
+measure money by in Germany, but I know that it is more than L20,000
+a-year in English money. A very large sum nowadays," she added, as if
+L20,000 had grown since she was a girl.
+
+"Yes, mamma."
+
+"He is considered, besides, an unusually promising and intelligent young
+nobleman, and in Germany, where noblemen are still constantly used, that
+says a great deal for him."
+
+"Does it, mamma?"
+
+"Certainly it does. Education there is so severe that young Englishmen are
+beginning to know less than they ever did, and in most cases that isn't
+saying much. Compare the Baron with the young men you meet here!"
+
+She looked at her daughter triumphantly, and Alicia could only reply,
+"Yes, mamma?"
+
+"Compare them and see the difference. Look at the Baron's friend, Mr
+Bunker, who is a very agreeable and amusing man, I admit, but look at the
+difference!"
+
+"What is it?" Alicia could not help asking.
+
+"_What_ is it, Alicia! It is--ah--it's--er--it is, in short, the effect of a
+carefully cultivated mind and good blood."
+
+"But don't you think Mr Bunker cultivated, mamma--and--and--well-bred?"
+
+"He has an amusing way of saying things,--but then you must remember that
+the Baron is doubtless equally entertaining in his native language,--and
+possibly a superficial knowledge of a few of the leading questions of the
+day; but the Baron talked to me for half an hour on the relations of
+something or other in Germany to--er--something else--a very important point,
+I assure you."
+
+"I always thought him very clever," said Lady Alicia with a touch of
+warmth, and then instantly changed colour at the horrible slip.
+
+"You always," said the Countess in alarmed astonishment; "you hardly spoke
+to him yesterday, and--had you met him before?"
+
+"I--I meant the Baron, mamma."
+
+"But I have just been saying that he was _unusually_ clever."
+
+"But I thought, I mean it seemed as though you considered him only well
+informed."
+
+Lady Alicia's blushes and confusion deepened. Her mother looked at her
+with a softening eye. Suddenly she rose, kissed her affectionately, and
+said with the tenderness of triumph, "My _dear_ girl! Of course he is;
+clever, well informed, and a most _desirable_ young man. My Alicia could
+not do----"
+
+She stopped, as if she thought this was perhaps a little premature (though
+the Countess's methods inclined to the summary and decisive), and again
+kissing her daughter affectionately, remarked gaily, "Let me see, why,
+it's almost time we went for our little walk! We mustn't really disappoint
+those young men. I am in the middle of such an amusing discussion with Mr
+Bunker, who is really a very sensible man and quite worthy of the Baron's
+judgment."
+
+Poor Lady Alicia hardly knew whether to feel more relieved at her escape
+or dismayed at the construction put upon her explanation. She went out to
+meet the Baron, determined to give no further colour to her mother's
+unlucky misconception. The Countess was far too experienced and determined
+a general to leave it at all doubtful who should walk by whose side, and
+who should have the opportunity of appreciating whose merits, but Lady
+Alicia was quite resolved that the Baron's blandishments should fall on
+stony ground.
+
+But a soft heart and an undecided mouth are treacherous companions. The
+Baron was so amiable and so gallant, that at the end of half an hour she
+was obliged to abate the strictness of her resolution. She should treat
+him with the friendliness of a brother. She learned that he had no
+sisters: her decision was confirmed.
+
+The enamoured and delighted Baron was in the seventh heaven of happy
+loquacity. He poured out particulars of his travels, his more recordable
+adventures, his opinions on various social and political matters, and at
+last even of the family ghost, the hereditary carpet-beatership, and the
+glories of Bavaria. And Lady Alicia listened with what he could not doubt
+was an interest touched with tenderness.
+
+"I wonder," she said, artlessly, "that you find anything to admire in
+England--compared with Bavaria, I mean."
+
+"Two zings I haf not zere," replied the Baron, waving his hand round
+towards the horizon. "Vun is ze vet sheet of flowing sea--says not your
+poet so? Ze ozzer" (laying his hand on his heart) "is ze Lady Alicia a
+Fyre."
+
+There are some people who catch sentiment whenever it happens to be in the
+air, just as others almost equally unfortunate regularly take hay-fever.
+
+Lady Alicia's reply was much softer than she intended, especially as she
+could have told anybody that the Baron's compliment was the merest figure
+of speech.
+
+"You needn't have included me: I'm sure _I'm_ not a great attraction."
+
+"Ze sea is less, so zat leaves none," the Baron smiled.
+
+"Didn't you see anybody--I mean, anything in London that attracted you--that
+you liked?"
+
+"Zat I liked, yes, zat pairhaps for the moment attracted me; but not zat
+shall still attract me ven I am gone avay."
+
+The Baron sighed this time, and she felt impelled to reply, with the most
+sisterly kindness, "I--we should, of course, like to think that you didn't
+forget us _altogether_."
+
+"You need not fear."
+
+Then Lady Alicia began to realise that this was more like a second cousin
+than a brother, and with sudden sprightliness she cried, "I wonder where
+that steamer's going!"
+
+The Baron turned his eyes towards his first-named attraction, but for a
+professed lover of the ocean his interest appeared slight. He only replied
+absently, "Ach, zo?"
+
+A little way behind them walked Mr Bunker and the Countess. The attention
+of Lady Grillyer was divided between the agreeable conversation of her
+companion and the pleasant spectacle of a fabulous number of pfennigs
+a-year bending its titled head over her daughter. In the middle of one of
+Mr Bunker's most amusing stories she could not forbear interrupting with a
+complacent "they _do_ make a very handsome couple!"
+
+Mr Bunker politely stopped his narrative, and looked critically from his
+friend's gaily checked back to Lady Alicia's trim figure.
+
+"Pray go on with your story, Mr Bunker," said the Countess, hastily,
+realising that she had thought a little too loudly.
+
+"They are like," responded Mr Bunker, replying to her first remark--"they
+are like a pair of gloves."
+
+The Countess raised her brows and looked at him sharply.
+
+"I mean, of course, the best quality."
+
+"I think," said the Countess, suspiciously, "that you spoke a little
+carelessly."
+
+"My simile was a little premature?"
+
+"I think so," said the Countess, decisively.
+
+"Let us call them then an odd pair," smiled Mr Bunker, unruffled; "and
+only hope that they'll turn out to be the same size and different hands."
+
+The Countess actually condescended to smile back.
+
+"She is a _dear_ child," she murmured.
+
+"His income, I think, is sufficient," he answered.
+
+Humour was not conspicuous in the Grillyer family. The Countess replied
+seriously, "I am one of those out-of-date people, Mr Bunker, who consider
+some things come before money, but the Baron's birth and position are
+fortunately unimpeachable."
+
+"While his mental qualities," said Mr Bunker, "are, in my experience,
+almost unique."
+
+The Countess was confirmed in her opinion of Mr Bunker's discrimination.
+
+Late that night, after they had parted with their friends, the Baron
+smoked in the most unwonted silence while Mr Bunker dozed on the sofa.
+Several times Rudolph threw restive glances at his friend, as if he had
+something on his mind that he needed a helping hand to unburden himself
+of. At last the silence grew so intolerable that he screwed up his courage
+and with desperate resolution exclaimed, "Bonker!"
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes and sat up.
+
+"Bonker, I am in loff!"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled and stretched himself out again.
+
+"I have also been in love," he replied.
+
+"You are not now?"
+
+"Alas! no."
+
+"Vy alas?"
+
+"Because follies _without_ illusions get so infernally dull, Baron."
+
+The Baron smiled a little foolishly.
+
+"I haf ze illusions, I fear." Then he broke out enthusiastically, "Ach,
+bot is she not lofly, Bonker? If she will bot lof me back I shall be ze
+happiest man out of heaven!"
+
+"You have wasted no time, Baron."
+
+The Baron shook his head in melancholy pleasure.
+
+"You are quite sure it is really love this time?" his friend pursued.
+
+"Qvite!" said the Baron, with the firmness of a martyr.
+
+"There are so many imitations."
+
+"Not so close zat zey can deceive!"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Bunker. "These first symptoms are common to them
+all, and yet the varieties of the disease are almost beyond counting. I
+myself have suffered from it in eight different forms. There was the
+virulent, spotted-all-over variety, known as calf-love; there was the kind
+that accompanied itself by a course of the Restoration dramatists; another
+form I may call the strayed-Platonic, and that may be subdivided into at
+least two; then there was----"
+
+"Schtop! schtop!" cried the Baron. "Ha, ha, ha! Zat will do! Teufel! I
+most examine my heart strictly. And yet, Bonker, I zink my loff is anozzer
+kind--ze _real!_"
+
+"They are all that, Baron; but have it your own way. Anything I can do to
+make you worse shall be done."
+
+"Zanks, my best of friends," said the Baron, warmly, seizing his hand; "I
+knew you would stand by me!"
+
+Mr Bunker gave a little laugh, and returning the pressure, replied, "My
+dear fellow, I'd do anything to oblige a friend in such an interesting
+condition."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+The Baron was a few minutes late in joining the party at lunch, and when
+he appeared he held an open letter in his hand. It was only the middle of
+the next day, and yet he could have sworn that last night he was
+comparatively whole-hearted, he felt so very much more in love already.
+
+"Yet anozzer introdogtion has found me out," he said as he took his seat.
+"I have here a letter of invitation vich I do not zink I shall accept."
+
+He threw an amorous glance at Lady Alicia, which her watchful mother
+rightly interpreted as indicating the cause of his intended refusal.
+
+"Who is it this time?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"Sir Richard Brierley of Brierley Park, Dampshire. Is zat how you
+pronounce it?"
+
+"Sir Richard Brierley!" exclaimed the Countess; "why, Alicia and I are
+going to visit some relatives of ours who live only six miles from
+Brierley Park! When has he asked you, Baron?"
+
+"Ze end of next week."
+
+"How odd! We are going down to Dampshire at the end of next week too. You
+must accept, Baron!"
+
+"I shall!" exclaimed the overjoyed Baron. "Shall ve go, Bonker?"
+
+"I'm not asked, I'm afraid."
+
+"Ach, bot zat is nozzing. I shall tell him."
+
+"As you please, Baron," replied Mr Bunker, with a half glance at Lady
+Alicia.
+
+The infatuated Baron had already begun to dread the inevitable hour of
+separation, and this piece of good fortune put him into the highest
+spirits. He felt so amiable towards the whole world that when the four
+went out for a stroll in the afternoon he lingered for a minute by Lady
+Grillyer's side, and in that minute Mr Bunker and Lady Alicia were out of
+hail ahead. The Baron's face fell.
+
+"Shall I come down to this place?" said Mr Bunker.
+
+"Would you like to?"
+
+"I should be sorry," he replied, "to part with--the Baron."
+
+Lady Alicia had expected a slightly different ending to this sentence, and
+so, to tell the truth, Mr Bunker had intended.
+
+"Oh, if you can't stay away from the Baron, you had better go."
+
+"It is certainly very hard to tear myself away from so charming a person
+as the Baron; perhaps you can feel for me?"
+
+"I think he is very--nice."
+
+"He thinks you very nice."
+
+"Does he?" said Lady Alicia, with great indifference, and a moment later
+changed the subject.
+
+Meanwhile the Baron was growing very uneasy. Of course it was quite
+natural that Mr Bunker should find it pleasant to walk for a few minutes
+by the side of the fairest creature on earth, and very possibly he was
+artfully pleading his friend's cause. Yet the Baron felt uneasy. He
+remembered Mr Bunker's invariable success with the gentler sex, his wit,
+his happy smile, and his good looks; and he began to wish most sincerely
+that these fascinations were being exercised on the now somewhat
+breathless Countess, for his efforts to overtake the pair in front had
+both annoyed and exhausted Lady Grillyer.
+
+"Need we walk quite so fast, Baron?" she suggested; and Lady Grillyer's
+suggestions were of the kind that are evidently meant to be acted upon.
+
+"Ach, I did forged," said the Baron, absently, and without further remark
+he slackened his pace for a few yards and then was off again.
+
+"You were telling me," gasped the Countess, "of something you thought
+of--doing when--you went--home."
+
+"Zo? Oh yes, it vas--Teufel! I do not remember."
+
+"Really, Baron," said the Countess, decidedly, "I cannot go any farther at
+this rate. Let us turn. The others will be turning too, in a minute."
+
+In fact the unlucky Baron had clean run Lady Grillyer's maternal instincts
+off their feet, and he suffered for it by seeing nothing of either his
+friend or his charmer for an hour and a half.
+
+That night he accepted Sir Richard's invitation, but said nothing whatever
+about bringing a friend.
+
+For the next week Rudolph was in as many states of mind as there were
+hours in each day. He walked and rode and drove with Lady Alicia through
+the most romantic spots he could find. He purchased a large assortment of
+golf-clubs, and under her tuition essayed to play that most dangerous of
+games for mixed couples. In turn he broke every club in his set; the
+cavities he hewed in the links are still pointed out to the curious; but
+the heart of the Lady Alicia alone he seemed unable to damage. There was
+always a moment at which his courage failed him, and in that fatal pause
+she invariably changed the subject with the most innocent air in the
+world.
+
+Every now and then the greenest spasms of jealousy would seize him. Why
+did she elect to disappear with Mr Bunker on the very morning that he had
+resolved should settle his fate? It is true he had made the same
+resolution every morning, but on this particular one he had no doubt he
+would have put his fate to the touch. And why on a certain moonlight
+evening was he left to the unsentimental company of the Countess?
+
+He made no further reference to the visit to Brierley Park; in fact he
+shunned discussion of any kind with his quondam bosom friend.
+
+The time slipped past, till the visit to St Egbert's was almost at an end.
+On the day after to-morrow all four were going to leave (where Mr Bunker
+was going, his friend never troubled to inquire).
+
+They sat together latish in the evening in the Baron's room. That very
+afternoon Lady Alicia had spent more time in Mr Bunker's society than in
+his, and the Baron felt that the hour had come for an explanation.
+
+"Bonker, I haf a suspection!" he exclaimed, suddenly. "It is not I, bot
+you, who are ze friend to ze beautiful Lady Alicia. You are not doing me
+fair!"
+
+"My dear Baron!"
+
+"It is so: you are not doing me fair," the Baron reiterated.
+
+"My dear fellow," replied Mr Bunker, "it is you are so much in love that
+you have lost your wonted courage. You don't use your chances."
+
+"I do not get zem."
+
+"Nonsense, Baron! I haven't spent one hour in Lady Alicia's company to
+your twenty-four, and yet if I'd been matrimonially inclined I could have
+proposed twice over. You've had the chance of being accepted fifty times."
+
+"I haf not been accepted vunce," said the Baron, moodily.
+
+"Have you put the question?"
+
+"I haf not dared."
+
+"Well, my dear Baron, whose fault is that?"
+
+The Baron was silent.
+
+"Ask her to-morrow."
+
+"No, Bonker," said the Baron, sadly; "she treats me not like a lover. She
+talks of friendship. I do not vish a frient!"
+
+Mr Bunker looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "You don't think you have
+touched her heart?" he asked at length.
+
+"I fear not."
+
+"You must try an infallible recipe for winning a woman's heart. You must
+be in trouble."
+
+"In trouble!"
+
+"I have tried it once myself, with great success."
+
+"Bot how?"
+
+"You must fall ill."
+
+"Bot I cannot; I am too healthful, alas!"
+
+Mr Bunker smiled artfully. "They come to tea in our rooms to-morrow, you
+know. By then, Baron, you must be laid up, ill or not, just as you please.
+A grain of Lady Alicia's sympathy is worth more than a ton of even your
+wit."
+
+The standard chosen for the measurement of his wit escaped the Baron, the
+scheme delighted him.
+
+"Ha, Bonker! schoen! I tvig! Goot!" he cried. "How shall ve do?"
+
+"Leave it to me."
+
+The Baron reflected, and his smile died away.
+
+"Sopposing," he said, slowly, "zey find out? Is it vise? Is it straight?"
+
+"They can't find out. They go the next morning, and what's to prevent your
+making a quick recovery and pluckily going down to Brierley Park as the
+interesting convalescent? She will know that you've made a dangerous
+journey on her account."
+
+The Baron's face cleared again.
+
+"Let us try!" he said; "anyzing is better zan my present state. Bot, be
+careful, Bonker!"
+
+"I shall take the most minute precautions," replied Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted early. The Baron seemed
+a little nervous now that it came so near the venture, but his friend was
+as cheerful as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage
+into Rudolph.
+
+Mr Bunker's bedroom opened out of their common sitting-room, and so he
+declared that in the afternoon the Baron must be laid up there.
+
+"Keep your room all morning," he said, "and look as pale as you can. I
+shall make my room ready for you."
+
+When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a chair and gazed for a
+few minutes round his bedroom. Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant
+to make the bed immediately, and presently went out to do some shopping.
+On the way he sent word to the Countess, telling her only that the Baron
+was indisposed, but that in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should
+have the pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning he
+spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of the ladies' way.
+
+When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted upon getting up to eat,
+the Baron was allowed to enter the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of
+astonishment,--and indeed his surprise was natural. The room was as full of
+flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe, and fireplace were most
+artistically draped with art hangings; a plate filled with grapes, a large
+bottle labelled "Two table-spoonfuls every half hour," and a
+medicine-glass were placed conspicuously on a small table; and, most
+remarkable feature of all, Mr Bunker's bath filled with water and alive
+with goldfish stood by the side of the bed. A couple of canaries sang in a
+cage by the window, the half-drawn curtains only permitted the most
+delicate light to steal into the room, and in short the whole arrangement
+reflected the utmost credit on his ingenious friend.
+
+The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.
+
+"Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?" he asked.
+
+"To show your love of nature."
+
+"Vy so?"
+
+"There is nothing that pleases a woman more."
+
+"My friend, you zink of everyzing!" exclaimed the Baron, admiringly.
+
+When four o'clock approached he drew a night-shirt over his other garments
+and got into bed. Mr Bunker at first was in favour of a complete change of
+attire, but on his friend's expostulating against such a thorough
+precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather like the historic
+blacking of Othello.
+
+"Leave it all to me, my dear Baron," he said, reassuringly, as he tucked
+him in; and with that he went into the other room and awaited the arrival
+of their guests.
+
+They came punctually. The Countess was full of concern for the "dear
+Baron," while Lady Alicia, he could not help thinking, appeared unusually
+reserved. In fact, his quick eye soon divined that something was the
+matter.
+
+"She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager or has found
+something out," he said to himself.
+
+However, it seemed that if she had found anything out it could have
+nothing to do with the Baron's indisposition, for she displayed the most
+ingenuous sympathy, and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly
+at himself.
+
+"So sudden!" exclaimed the Countess.
+
+"It is rather sudden, but we'll hope it may pass as quickly as it came,"
+said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful impression of deep concern veiled by a
+cheerful manner.
+
+"Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?" demanded the countess.
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and replied, "Oh, dear,
+no! that is--at present, Lady Grillyer, we have really no reason to be
+alarmed."
+
+"I am _so_ sorry," murmured Lady Alicia.
+
+Her mother looked at her approvingly.
+
+"Poor Baron!" she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.
+
+"So far from home!" sighed Mr Bunker. "And yet so cheerful through it
+all," he added.
+
+"What did you say was the matter?" asked the Countess.
+
+Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective to maintain a
+little mystery round his friend's malady.
+
+"The doctor hasn't yet given a decided opinion," he replied.
+
+"Can't we do anything?" said Lady Alicia, softly.
+
+Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up to the proper pitch of
+sympathy.
+
+"Poor Rudolph!" he exclaimed. "It would cheer him immensely, I know, and
+ease my own anxiety as well, if you would venture in to see him for a few
+minutes. In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a woman's."
+
+The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered for an instant between
+those proprieties for which she was a famous stickler and this admirable
+chance of completing the Baron's conquest.
+
+"His relations are far away," said Mr Bunker, looking pensively out of the
+window.
+
+"We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?" suggested Lady Grillyer.
+
+"Yes, mamma," replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity that rather surprised
+their host.
+
+With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies into the darkened
+sick-room. The Baron, striving to conceal his exultation under a rueful
+semblance, greeted them with a languid yet happy smile.
+
+"Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you, Lady Alicia, how can I
+zank you?"
+
+"My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to find our host _hors de
+combat_," said the Countess, graciously.
+
+"Just when you wanted to go away too!" added Lady Alicia, sympathetically.
+
+The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.
+
+"Alas!" he replied, "it is hard indeed."
+
+"You must hurry up and get better," said the Countess, in her most
+cheering sick-room manner. "It won't do to disappoint the Brierleys, you
+know."
+
+"You must come down for _part_ of the time," smiled her daughter.
+
+These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron that he placed his
+hand on his brow and turned slightly away to conceal his emotion. At the
+same time Mr Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily into a
+chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his own face in his hand.
+
+Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions, and looked from one
+to the other with great concern.
+
+"Dear me!" said the Countess, "surely it isn't so very serious, Mr Bunker;
+it isn't _infectious_, is it?"
+
+The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without waiting for his
+more diplomatic friend to reply, he answered hastily, "Ach, no, it is bot
+a cold."
+
+Lady Grillyer's expression changed.
+
+"A cold!" she said. "Dear me, that can't be so very serious, Baron."
+
+"It is a bad cold," said the Baron.
+
+By this time the ladies' eyes were growing more used to the dim light, and
+Mr Bunker could see that they were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.
+
+"This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture," said the Countess, examining the
+bottle.
+
+The Baron incautiously admitted it was.
+
+"Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!" she exclaimed; "why, I never heard
+of taking a cough-mixture in such doses. Besides, your cough doesn't seem
+so very bad, Baron."
+
+"Ze doctor told me to take it so," replied the Baron.
+
+The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said, with a touch of suspicion
+in her voice, "I thought, Mr Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion."
+
+The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his friend.
+
+"In the Baron's desire to spare your feelings," replied Mr Bunker,
+gravely, "he has been a little inaccurate; that is not precisely an
+ordinary cough-mixture."
+
+"Oh," said the Countess.
+
+Lady Alicia's attention had been strongly attracted by the bath, and
+suddenly she exclaimed, "Why, there are goldfish in it!"
+
+The Baron's nerve was fast deserting him.
+
+"Ze doctor ordered zem," he began--"I mean, I am fond of fishes."
+
+The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man, and then turned
+severely to his friend.
+
+"_What_ is the matter with the Baron?" she demanded.
+
+Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic measures.
+
+"The dog was destroyed at once," he replied, with intense gravity. "It is
+therefore impossible to say exactly what is the matter."
+
+"_The dog!_" cried the two ladies together.
+
+"By this evening," he continued, "we shall know the worst--or the best."
+
+"What do you mean?" exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing a step from the
+bed.
+
+"I mean," replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration, "that this bath is
+a delicate test. No victim of the dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to
+look----"
+
+But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even as he was speaking the
+Baron's face had passed through a series of the most extraordinary
+expressions, which she not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.
+
+"It's beginning already!" she shrieked. "Alicia, my love, come quickly.
+How dare you expose us, sir?"
+
+"Calm yourselves. I assure you----" pleaded Mr Bunker, coming hastily after
+them, but they were at the door before him.
+
+The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying, "No, no, it is false!"
+he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a tweed suit only half concealed by his
+night-shirt, and, forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great
+splash among the startled goldfish.
+
+The Countess paused in the half-opened door and looked at him with horror
+that rapidly passed into intense indignation.
+
+"I am not ill!" he cried. "It vos zat rascal Bonker's plot. He made me! I
+haf not hydrophobia!"
+
+Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into hysterical giggles.
+For a moment her mother glared at the two young men in silence, and then
+only remarking, "I have never been so insulted before," she went out, and
+her daughter followed her.
+
+As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after roar of laughter,
+but the humorous side of the situation seemed to appeal very slightly to
+his injured friend.
+
+"You rascal! you villain!" he shouted, "zis is ze end of our friendship,
+Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell me, sare!"
+
+"My dear Baron," gasped Mr Bunker, "I could not put such an inartistic end
+to so fine a joke for the world."
+
+"You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not ze English name bad
+enoff for you!"
+
+With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and replied, still smiling:
+"After all, Baron, what harm has been done? I get all the blame, and the
+sympathy you wanted is sure to turn to you."
+
+"False friend!" thundered the Baron.
+
+"My dear Baron!" said Mr Bunker, mildly, "whose fault was it that the plot
+miscarried? If you'd only left it all to me----"
+
+"Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor, it vas a trick to
+vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak to me nevermore!" And with that the
+infuriated nobleman rushed off to his own room.
+
+As there was no further sign of him for the next half hour, Mr Bunker,
+still smiling to himself at the recollection, went out to take the air;
+but just as he was about to descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia
+lingering in a passage. He turned back and went up to her.
+
+She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed to have a strain of
+anger running beneath it.
+
+"I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-day through the
+dead-letter office. Nothing was known about you at the address you gave."
+
+"I am not surprised," he replied.
+
+"Then it was false?"
+
+"As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn't happen to be
+mine."
+
+"Were you _ever_ in the Church?"
+
+"Not to my personal knowledge."
+
+"Yet you said you were?"
+
+"I was in an asylum."
+
+She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he smiled back at her with
+great amusement.
+
+"You have deceived _me_," she said, "and you have treated your other
+friend--who is far too good for you--disgracefully. Have you anything to say
+for yourself?"
+
+"Not a word," he replied, cheerfully.
+
+"You must _never_ treat me again as--as I let you."
+
+As a smile played for an instant about his face, she added quickly, "I
+don't _suppose_ I shall ever see you again. In future we are not _likely_
+to meet."
+
+"The lady and the lunatic?" said he. "Well, perhaps not. Good-bye, and
+better luck."
+
+"Good-bye," she answered coldly, and added as they parted, "my mother, of
+course, is extremely angry with you."
+
+"There," he said with a smile, "you see I still come in useful."
+
+She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly downstairs and out of the
+hotel.
+
+"It seems to me," he reflected, "that I shall have to set out on my
+adventures again alone."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VI.
+
+
+The Baron's natural good temper might have forgiven his friend, but all
+night he was a prey to something against which no temper is proof. The
+Baron was bitterly jealous. All through breakfast he never spoke a word,
+and when Mr Bunker asked him what train he intended to take, he replied
+curtly, as he went to the door, "Ze 5.30."
+
+"And where do you go now?"
+
+"Vat is zat to you? I go for a valk. I vould be alone."
+
+"Good-bye, then, Baron," said Mr Bunker. "I think I shall go up to town."
+
+"Go, zen," replied the Baron, opening the door; "I haf no furzer vish to
+see a treacherous _sponge_ zat vill neizer be true nor fight, bot jost
+takes money."
+
+He slammed the door and went out. If he had waited for a moment, he would
+have seen a look in Mr Bunker's face that he had never seen before. He
+half started from his chair to follow, and then sat down again and thought
+with his lips very tight set.
+
+All at once they broke into a smile that was grimmer than anything the
+Baron had known.
+
+"I accept your challenge, Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg," he said to
+himself; "but the weapons I shall choose myself."
+
+He took a telegraph form, wrote and despatched a wire, and then with
+considerable haste proceeded to pack. Within an hour he had left the
+hotel.
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+When a servant, later in the day, was performing, under the Baron's
+directions, the same office for him, a series of discoveries that still
+further disturbed his peace of mind were jointly made. Not only the more
+sporting portions of his wardrobe but his gun and cartridges as well, had
+vanished, and, search and storm as he liked, there was not a trace of them
+to be found.
+
+"Ze rascal!" he muttered; "I did not zink he was zief as well."
+
+It is hardly wonderful that he arrived at Brierley station in anything but
+an amiable frame of mind. There, to his great annoyance and surprise, he
+found no signs of Sir Richard's carriage; there were no stables near, and,
+after fuming for some time on the platform, he was forced to leave his
+luggage with the station-master and proceed on foot to Brierley Park.
+
+He arrived shortly before seven o'clock, after a dark and muddy tramp,
+and, still swearing under his breath, pulled the bell with indignant
+energy.
+
+"I am ze Baron von Blitzenberg, bot zere vas no carriage at ze station,"
+he informed the butler in his haughtiest tones.
+
+The man looked at him suspiciously.
+
+"The Baron arrived this morning," he said.
+
+"Ze Baron? Vat Baron? I am ze Baron!"
+
+"I shall fetch Sir Richard," said the butler, turning away.
+
+Presently a stout florid gentleman, accompanied by three friends, all
+evidently very curious and amused about something, came to the door, and,
+to the poor Baron's amazement and horror, he recognised in one of these
+none other than Mr Bunker, arrayed with much splendour in his own ornate
+shooting suit.
+
+"What do you want?" asked the florid gentleman, sternly.
+
+"Have I ze pleasure of addressing Sir Richard Brierley?" inquired the
+Baron, raising his hat and bowing profoundly.
+
+"You have."
+
+"Zen I must tell you zat I am ze Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg."
+
+"Gom, gom, my man!" interposed Mr Bunker. "I know you. Zis man, Sir
+Richard, has before annoyed me. He is vat you call impostor, cracked; he
+has vollowed me from Germany. Go avay, man!"
+
+"You are impostor! You scoundrel, Bonker!" shouted the wrathful Baron. "He
+is no Baron, Sir Richard! Ha! Vould you again deceive me, Bonker?"
+
+"You must lock him up, I fear," said Mr Bunker. "To-morrow, my man, you
+vill see ze police."
+
+So completely did the Baron lose his head that he became almost
+inarticulate with rage: his protestations, however, were not of the
+slightest avail. That morning Sir Richard had received a wire informing
+him that the Baron was coming by an earlier train than he had originally
+intended, and, since his arrival, the spurious nobleman had so ingratiated
+himself with his host that Sir Richard was filled with nothing but
+sympathy for him in his persecution. After a desperate struggle the
+unfortunate Rudolph was overpowered and conveyed in the undignified
+fashion known as the frog's march to a room in a remote wing, there to
+pass the night under lock and key.
+
+"The scoundrelly German impostor!" exclaimed a young man, a fellow visitor
+of the Baron Bunker's, to a tall, military-looking gentleman.
+
+Colonel Savage seemed lost in thought.
+
+"It is a curious thing, Trelawney," he replied, at length, "that the
+footman who attends the Baron should have told my man--who, of course, told
+me--that a number of his things are marked 'Francis Beveridge.' It is also
+rather strange that this impostor should have known so little of the
+Baron's movements as to arrive several hours after him, assuming he had
+hatched a plot to impersonate him."
+
+"But the man's obviously mad."
+
+"Must be," said the colonel.
+
+The house party were assembled in the drawing-room waiting for dinner to
+be announced. The bogus Baron was engaged in an animated discussion with
+Colonel Savage on the subject of Bavarian shootings, and the colonel
+having omitted to inform him that he had some personal experience of
+these, Mr Bunker was serving up such of his friend's anecdotes as he could
+remember with sauce more peculiarly his own.
+
+"Five hondred vild boars," he was saying, "eight hondred brace of
+partridges, many bears, and rabbits so moch zat it took five veeks to bury
+zem. All zese ve did shoot before breakfast, colonel. Aftair breakfast
+again ve did go out----"
+
+But at that moment his attention was sharply arrested by a question of
+Lady Brierley's.
+
+"Has Dr Escott arrived?" she asked.
+
+The Baron Bunker paused, and in spite of his habitual coolness, the
+observant colonel noticed that he started ever so slightly.
+
+"He came half an hour ago," replied Sir Richard. "Ah, here he is."
+
+As he spoke, a well-remembered figure came into the room, and after a
+welcome from his hostess, the dinner procession started.
+
+"Whoever is that tall fair man in front?" Dr Escott asked his partner as
+they crossed the hall.
+
+"Oh, that's the Baron von Blitzenberg: such an amusing man! We are all in
+love with him already."
+
+All through dinner the spurious Baron saw that Dr Escott's eyes turned
+continually and curiously on him; yet never for an instant did his spirits
+droop or his conversation flag. Witty and charming as ever, he discoursed
+in his comical foreign accent to the amusement of all within hearing, and
+by the time the gentlemen adjourned to the billiard-room, he had
+established the reputation of being the most delightful German ever seen.
+Yet Dr Escott grew more suspicious and bewildered, and Mr Bunker felt that
+he was being narrowly watched. The skill at billiards of a certain Francis
+Beveridge used to be the object of the doctor's unbounded admiration, and
+it was with the liveliest interest that he watched a game between Colonel
+Savage and the Baron.
+
+That nobleman knew well the danger of displaying his old dexterity, and to
+the onlookers it soon became apparent that this branch of his education
+had been neglected. He not only missed the simplest shots, but seemed very
+ignorant of the rules of the English game, and in consequence he came in
+for a little good-natured chaff from Sir Richard and Trelawney. When the
+colonel's score stood at 90 and the Baron had scarcely reached 25
+Trelawney cried, "I'll bet you ten to one you don't win, Baron!"
+
+"What in?" asked the Baron, and the colonel noticed that for the first
+time be pronounced a _w_ correctly.
+
+"Sovereigns," said Trelawney, gaily.
+
+The temptation was irresistible.
+
+"Done!" said the Baron. With a professional disregard for conventions he
+bolted the white into the middle pocket, leaving his own ball nicely
+beside the red. Down in its turn went the red, and Mr Bunker was on the
+spot. Three followed three in monotonous succession, Trelawney's face
+growing longer and Dr Escott getting more and more excited, till with a
+smile Mr Bunker laid down his cue, a sensational winner.
+
+His victory was received in silence: Trelawney handed over two five-pound
+notes without a word, and the colonel returned to his whisky-and-soda. Dr
+Escott could contain himself no longer, and whispering something to Sir
+Richard, the two left the room.
+
+Imperturbable as ever, Mr Bunker talked gaily for a few minutes to an
+unresponsive audience, and then, remarking that he would join the ladies,
+left the room.
+
+A minute or two later Sir Richard, with an anxious face, returned with Dr
+Escott.
+
+"Where is the Baron?" he asked.
+
+"Gone to join the ladies," replied Trelawney, adding under his breath,
+"d---- n him!"
+
+But the Baron was not with the ladies, nor, search the house as they
+might, was there a trace to be seen of that accomplished nobleman.
+
+"He has gone!" said Sir Richard.
+
+"What the deuce is the meaning of it?" exclaimed Trelawney.
+
+Colonel Savage smiled grimly and suggested, "Perhaps he wants to give the
+impostor an innings."
+
+"Dr Escott, I think, can tell you," replied the baronet.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the doctor, "the man whom you have met as the Baron von
+Blitzenberg is none other than a most cunning and determined lunatic. He
+escaped from the asylum where I am at present assistant doctor, after all
+but murdering me; he has been seen in London since, but how he came to
+impersonate the unfortunate gentleman whom you locked up this afternoon I
+cannot say."
+
+Before they broke up for the night the genuine Baron, released from
+confinement and soothed by the humblest apologies and a heavy supper,
+recounted the main events in Mr Beveridge _alias_ Bunker's brief career in
+town. On his exploits in St Egbert's he felt some delicacy in touching,
+but at the end of what was after all only a fragmentary and one-sided
+narrative, even the defrauded Trelawney could not but admit that, whatever
+the departed gentleman's failings, his talents at least were worthy of a
+better cause.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+The party at Brierley Park had gone at last to bed. The Baron was
+installed in his late usurper's room, and from the clock-tower the hour of
+three had just been tolled. Sympathy and Sir Richard's cellar had greatly
+mollified the Baron's wrath; he had almost begun to see the humorous side
+of his late experience; as a rival Mr Bunker was extinct, and with an easy
+mind and a placid smile he had fallen asleep some two hours past.
+
+The fire burned low, and for long nothing but the occasional sigh of the
+wind in the trees disturbed the silence. At length, had the Baron been
+awake, he might have heard the stealthiest of footsteps in the corridor
+outside. Then they stopped; his door was gently opened, and first a head
+and then a whole man slipped in.
+
+Still the Baron slept, dreaming peacefully of his late companion. They
+were driving somewhere in a hansom, Mr Bunker was telling one of his most
+amusing stories, when there came a shock, the hansom seemed to turn a
+somersault, and the Baron awoke. At first he thought he must be dreaming
+still; the electric light had been turned on and the room was bright as
+day, but, more bewildering yet, Mr Bunker was seated on his bed, gazing at
+him with an expression of thoughtful amusement.
+
+"Well, Baron," he said, "I trust you are comfortable in these excellent
+quarters."
+
+The Baron, half awake and wholly astonished, was unable to collect his
+ideas in time to make any reply.
+
+"But remember," continued Mr Bunker, "you have a reputation to live up to.
+I have set the standard high for Bavarian barons."
+
+The indignant Baron at last recovered his wits.
+
+"If you do not go away _at vonce_," he said, raising himself on his
+elbows, "I shall raise ze house upon you!"
+
+"Have you forgotten that you are talking to a dangerous lunatic, who
+probably never stirs without his razor?"
+
+The Baron looked at him and turned a little pale. He made no further
+movement, but answered stoutly enough, "Vat do you vant?"
+
+"In the first place, I want my brush and comb, a few clothes, and my
+hand-bag. Events happened rather more quickly this evening than I had
+anticipated."
+
+"Take zem."
+
+"I should also like," continued Mr Bunker, unmoved, "to have a little talk
+with you. I think I owe you some explanation--perhaps an apology or two--and
+I'm afraid it's my last chance."
+
+"Zay it zen."
+
+"Of course I understand that you make no hostile demonstration till I am
+finished? A hunted man must take precautions, you know."
+
+"I vill let you go."
+
+"Thanks, Baron."
+
+Mr Bunker folded his arms, leaned his back against the foot of the bed,
+and began in his half-bantering way, "I have amused you, Baron, now and
+then, you must admit?"
+
+The Baron made no reply.
+
+"That I place to my credit, and I think few debts are better worth
+repaying. On the other hand, I confess I have subsisted for some time
+entirely on your kindness. I'm afraid that alone counterbalances the debt,
+and when it comes to my being the means of your taking a bath in mixed
+company and spending an evening in a locked room, there's no doubt the
+balance is greatly on your side."
+
+"I zink so," observed the Baron.
+
+"So I'll tell you a true story, a favour with which I haven't indulged any
+one for some considerable time."
+
+The Baron coughed, but said nothing.
+
+"My biography for all practical purposes," Mr Bunker continued, "begins in
+that sequestered retreat, Clankwood Asylum. How and with whom I came there
+I haven't the very faintest recollection. I simply woke up from an
+extraordinary drowsiness to find myself recovering from a sharp attack of
+what I may most euphoniously call mental excitement. The original cause of
+it is very dim in my mind, and has, so far as I remember, nothing to do
+with the rest of the story. The attack was very short, I believe. I soon
+came to something more or less like myself; only, Baron, the singular
+thing is, that it was to all intents and purposes a new self--whether
+better or worse, my faulty memory does not permit me to say. I'd clean
+forgotten who I was and all about me. I found myself called Francis
+Beveridge, but that wasn't my old name, I know."
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed the Baron, growing interested despite himself.
+
+"And the most remarkable thing of all is that up till this day I haven't
+the very vaguest notion what my real name is."
+
+"Zo?" said the Baron. "Bot vy should they change it?"
+
+"There you've laid your finger on the mystery, Baron. Why? Heaven knows: I
+wish I did!"
+
+The Baron looked at him with undisguised interest.
+
+"Strange!" he said, thoughtfully.
+
+"Damnably strange. I found myself compelled to live in an asylum and
+answer to a new name, and really, don't you know, under the circumstances
+I could give no very valid reason for getting out. I seemed to have
+blossomed there like one of the asylum plants. I couldn't possibly have
+been more identified with the place. Besides, I'm free to confess that for
+some time my reason, taking it all in all, wasn't particularly valid on
+any point. By George, I had a funny time! Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+His mirth was so infectious that the Baron raised his voice in a hearty
+"Ha, ha!" and then stopped abruptly, and said cautiously, "Haf a care,
+Bonker, zey may hear!"
+
+"However, Baron," Mr Bunker continued, "out I was determined to get, and
+out I came in the manner of which perhaps my friend Escott has already
+informed you."
+
+The Baron grinned and nodded.
+
+"I came up to town, and on my very first evening I had the good fortune to
+meet the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg--as perhaps you may remember. In my
+own defence, Baron, I may fairly plead that since I could remember nothing
+about my past career, I was entitled to supply the details from my
+imagination. After all, I have no proof that some of my stories may not
+have been correct. I used this privilege freely in Clankwood, and, in a
+word, since I couldn't tell the truth if I wanted to, I quenched the
+desire."
+
+"You hombog!" said the Baron, not without a note of admiration.
+
+"I was, and I gloried in it. Baron, if you ever want to know how ample a
+thing life can be, become a certified lunatic! You are quite irresponsible
+for your debts, your crimes, and, not least, your words. It certainly
+enlarges one's horizon. All this time, I may say, I was racking my
+brains--which, by the way, have been steadily growing saner in other
+matters--for some recollections of my previous whereabouts, my career, if I
+had any, and, above all, of my name."
+
+"Can you remember nozing?"
+
+"I can remember a large country house which I think belonged to me, but in
+what part of the country it stands I haven't the slightest recollection. I
+can't remember any family, and as no one has inquired for me, I don't
+suppose I had any. Many incidents--sporting, festive, amusing, and
+discreditable--I remember distinctly, and many faces, but there's nothing
+to piece them together with. Can you recall one or two incidents in town,
+when people spoke to me or bowed to me?"
+
+"Yes, vell; I vondered zen."
+
+"I suppose they knew me. In a general sort of way I knew them. But when a
+man doesn't know his own name, and will probably be replaced in an asylum
+if he's identified, there isn't much encouragement for greeting old
+friends. And do you remember my search for a name in the hotel at St
+Egbert's?"
+
+"Yah--zat is, yes."
+
+"It was for my own I was looking."
+
+"You found it not?"
+
+"No. The worst of it is, I can't even remember what letter it began with.
+Sometimes I think it was M, or perhaps N, and sometimes I'm almost sure it
+was E. It will come to me some day, no doubt, Baron, but till it does I
+shall have to wander about a nameless man, looking for it. And after all,
+I am not without the consolations of a certain useful, workaday kind of
+philosophy."
+
+He rose from the bed and smiled humorously at his friend.
+
+"And now, Baron," he said, "it only remains to offer you such thanks and
+apologies as a lunatic may, and then clear out before the cock crows.
+These are my brushes, I think."
+
+There was still something on the Baron's mind: he lay for a moment
+watching Mr Bunker collect a few odds and ends and put them rapidly into a
+small bag, and then blurted out suddenly, "Ze Lady Alicia--do you loff
+her?"
+
+"By Jove!" exclaimed Mr Bunker, "I'd forgotten all about her. I ought to
+have told you that I once met her before, when she showed
+sympathy--practical sympathy, I may add--for an unfortunate gentleman in
+Clankwood. That's all."
+
+"You do not loff her?" persisted the Baron.
+
+"I, my dear chap? No. You are most welcome to her--_and_ the countess."
+
+"Does she not loff you?"
+
+"On my honour, no. I told her a few early reminiscences; she happened to
+discover they were not what is generally known as true, and took so absurd
+a view of the case that I doubt whether she would speak to me again if she
+met me. In fact, Baron, if I read the omens aright--and I've had some
+experience--you only need courage and a voice."
+
+The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of the clothes as the Baron
+sprang out on to the floor, and the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in
+his embrace.
+
+"Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected, I haf not been ze true
+friend; you have sairved me right to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a
+Baron to gom! You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have varmed my
+heart. My dear frient!"
+
+To tell the truth, Mr Bunker looked, for the first time in their
+acquaintance, a little ill at ease. He laughed, but it sounded affected.
+
+"My dear fellow--hang it! You'd make me out a martyr. As a matter of fact,
+I've been such a thorn as very few people would stand in their flesh.
+There's nothing to forgive, my dear Baron, and a lot to thank you for."
+
+"I haf been rude, Bonker; I haf insulted you! You forgif me?"
+
+"With all my heart, if you think it's needed, but----"
+
+"And you vill not go now? You vill stay here?"
+
+"What, two Barons at once? My dear chap, we'd merely confuse the butler."
+
+"Ach, you vill joke, you hombog! But you most stay!"
+
+"And what about my friend, Dr Escott? No, Baron, it would only mean
+breakfast and the next train to Clankwood."
+
+"Zey vill not take you ven you tell zem! I shall insist viz Sir Richard!"
+
+"The law is the law, Baron, and I'm a certified lunatic. Here we must part
+till the weather clears; and mind, you mustn't say a word about my coming
+to see you."
+
+The Baron looked at him disconsolately.
+
+"You most really go, Bonker?"
+
+"Really, Baron."
+
+"And vere to?"
+
+"To London town again by the milk train."
+
+"And vat vill you do zere?"
+
+"Look for my name."
+
+"Bot how?"
+
+Mr Bunker hesitated.
+
+"I have a little clue," he said at last, "only a thread, but I'll try it
+for what it's worth."
+
+"Haf you money enoff?"
+
+"Thanks to your generosity and my skill at billiards, yes, which reminds
+me that I must return poor Trelawney's ten pounds some day. At present, I
+can't afford to be scrupulous. So, you see, I'm provided for."
+
+"Cigars at least, Bonker! You most smoke, my frient vizout a name!"
+
+The Baron, night-shirted and barefooted as he was, dived into his
+portmanteau and produced a large box of cigars.
+
+"You like zese, Bonker. Zey are your own choice. Smoke zem and zink of
+me!"
+
+"A few, Baron, would be a pleasant reminiscence," said his friend, with a
+smile, "if you really insist."
+
+"All, Bonker,--I vill not keep vun! I can get more. No, you most take zem
+all!"
+
+Mr Bunker opened his bag and put in the box without a word.
+
+"You most write," said the Baron, "tell me vere you are. I shall not tell
+any soul, bot ven I can, I shall gom up, and ve shall sup togezzer vunce
+more. Pairhaps ve may haf anozzer adventure, ha, ha!"
+
+The Baron's laugh was almost too hearty to be true.
+
+"I shall let you know, as soon as I find a room. It won't be in the
+Mayonaise this time! Good-bye: good sport and luck in love!"
+
+"Good-bye, my frient, good-bye," said the Baron, squeezing his hand.
+
+His friend was half out of the door when he turned, and said with an
+intonation quite foreign either to Beveridge or Bunker, and yet which came
+very pleasantly, "I forgot to warn you of one thing when I advised you to
+try the _role_ of certified lunatic--you are not likely to make so good a
+friend as I have."
+
+He shut the door noiselessly and was gone.
+
+The Baron stood in the middle of the floor for fully five minutes, looking
+blankly at the closed door; then with a sigh he turned out the light and
+tumbled into bed again.
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 PART IV.
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER I.
+
+
+The Dover express was nearing town: evening had begun to draw in, and from
+the wayside houses people saw the train roar by like a huge glowworm; but
+they could hardly guess that it was hurrying two real actors to the climax
+of a real comedy.
+
+From the opposite sides of a first-class carriage these two looked
+cheerfully at one another. The Channel was safely behind them, London was
+close ahead, and the piston of the engine seemed to thump a triumphal air.
+
+"We've done it, Twiddel, my boy!" said the one.
+
+"Thank Heaven!" replied the other.
+
+"_And_ myself," added his friend.
+
+"Yes," said Twiddel; "you played your part uncommonly well, Welsh."
+
+"It was the deuce of a fine spree!" sighed Welsh.
+
+"The deuce," assented Twiddel.
+
+"I'm only sorry it's all over," Welsh went on, gazing regretfully up at
+the lamp of the carriage. "I'd give the remains of my character and my
+chance of a public funeral to be starting again from Paris by the morning
+train!"
+
+Twiddel laughed.
+
+"With the same head you had that morning?"
+
+"Yes, by George! Even with the same mile of dusty gullet!"
+
+"It's all over now," said Twiddel, philosophically, and yet rather
+nervously--"at least the amusing part of it."
+
+"All the fun, my boy, all the fun. All the dinners and the drinks, and the
+touching of hats to the aristocratic travellers, and the girls that
+sighed, and the bowing and scraping. Do you remember the sporting baronet
+who knew my uncle? Now, I'm plain Robert Welsh, whose uncles, as far as I
+am aware, don't know a baronet among 'em."
+
+He smiled a little sardonically.
+
+"And the baron at Fogelschloss," said Twiddel.
+
+"Who insisted on learning my pedigree back to Alfred the Great! Gad, I
+gave it him, though, and I doubt whether the real Essington could have
+done as much. I'd rather surprise some of these noblemen if I turned up
+again in my true character!"
+
+"Thank the Lord, we're not likely to meet them again!" exclaimed the
+doctor, devoutly.
+
+"No," said Welsh; "here endeth the second lesson."
+
+His friend, who had been well brought up, looked a trifle uncomfortable at
+this quotation.
+
+"I say," he remarked a few minutes later, "we haven't finished yet. We've
+got to get the man out again, and hand him back to his friends."
+
+"Cured," said Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+"I wonder how he is?"
+
+"We'll soon see."
+
+They fell silent again, while the train hurried nearer and nearer London
+town. Welsh seemed to be musing on some nice point, it might be of
+conscience, it might also conceivably be of a more practical texture. At
+last he said, "There's just one thing, old man. What about the fee?"
+
+"I'll get a cheque for it, I suppose," his friend replied, with an almost
+excessive air of mastery over the problem.
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Welsh; "you know what I mean. It's a delicate question
+and all that, but, hang it, it's got to be answered."
+
+"What has?"
+
+"The division of the spoil."
+
+Twiddel looked dignified.
+
+"I'll see you get your share, old man," he answered, easily.
+
+"But what share?"
+
+"You suggested L100, I think."
+
+"Out of L500--when I've done all the deceiving and told all the lies! Come,
+old man!"
+
+"Well, what do you want?"
+
+"Do you remember a certain crisis when we'd made a slip----"
+
+"You'd made a slip!"
+
+"_We_ had made a slip, and you wanted to chuck the game and bolt? Do you
+remember also the terms I proposed when I offered to beard the local god
+almighty in his lair and explain it all away, and how he became our bosom
+pal and we were saved?"
+
+"Well?"
+
+"L300 to me, L200 to you," said Welsh, decisively.
+
+"Rot, old man. I'll share fairly, if you insist. L250 apiece, will that
+do?"
+
+Welsh said nothing, but his face was no longer the countenance of the
+jovial adventurer.
+
+"It will have to, I suppose," he replied, at length.
+
+It was with this little cloud on the horizon that they saw the lights of
+London twinkle through the windows, and were carried into the clamour of
+the platforms.
+
+They both drove first to Twiddel's rooms; and as they looked out once more
+on the life and lights and traffic of the streets, their faces cleared
+again.
+
+"We'll have a merry evening!" cried Welsh.
+
+"A little supper," suggested Twiddel; "a music-hall----"
+
+"Et cetera," added Welsh, with a laugh.
+
+The doctor had written of their coming, and they found a fire in the back
+room, and the table laid.
+
+"Ah," cried Welsh, "this looks devilish comfortable."
+
+"A letter for me," said Twiddel; "from Billson, I think."
+
+He read it and threw it to his friend, remarking, "I call this rather cool
+of him."
+
+Welsh read--
+
+"DEAR GEORGE,--I am just off for three weeks' holiday. Sorry for leaving
+your practice, but I think it can look after itself till you return.
+
+"You have only had two patients, and one fee between them. The second man
+vanished mysteriously. I shall tell you about it when I come back. He
+boned a bill, too, I fancy, but the story will keep.
+
+"I am looking forward to hearing the true tale of your adventures. Good
+luck to you.--Yours ever,
+
+                                                          THOMAS BILLSON."
+
+"Boned a bill?" exclaimed Welsh. "What bill, I wonder?"
+
+"Something that came when I was away, I suppose. Hang it, I think Billson
+might have looked after things better!"
+
+"It sounds queer," said Welsh, reflectively; "I wonder what it was?"
+
+"Confound Billson, he might have told me," observed the doctor. "But, I
+say, you know we have something more practical to see to."
+
+"Getting the man out again?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Well, let's have a little grub first."
+
+Twiddel rang the bell, and the frowsy little maid entered, carrying a
+letter on a tray.
+
+"Dinner," said he.
+
+"Please, sir," began the maid, holding out the tray, "this come for you
+near a month agow, but Missis she bin and forgot to send it hafter you."
+
+"Confound her!" said Twiddel, taking the letter.
+
+He looked at the envelope, and remarked with a little start of nervous
+excitement, "From Dr Congleton."
+
+"News of Mr Beveridge," laughed Welsh.
+
+The doctor read the first few lines, and then, as if he had got an
+electric shock, the letter fell from his hand, and an expression of the
+most utter and lively consternation came over his face.
+
+"Heavens!" he ejaculated, "it's all up."
+
+"What's up?" cried Welsh, snatching at the letter.
+
+"He's run away!"
+
+Welsh looked at him for a moment in some astonishment, and then burst out
+laughing.
+
+"What a joke!" he cried; "I don't see anything to make a fuss about. We're
+jolly well rid of him."
+
+"The fee! I won't get a penny till I bring him back. And the whole thing
+will be found out!"
+
+As the full meaning of this predicament burst upon Welsh, his face
+underwent a change by no means pleasant to watch. For a full minute he
+swore, and then an ominous silence fell upon the room.
+
+Twiddel was the first to recover himself.
+
+"Let me see the letter," he said; "I haven't finished it."
+
+Welsh read it aloud--
+
+"DEAR TWIDDEL,--I regret to inform you that the patient, Francis Beveridge,
+whom you placed under my care, has escaped from Clankwood. We have made
+every inquiry consistent with strict privacy, but unfortunately have not
+yet been able to lay our hands upon him. We only know that he left
+Ashditch Junction in the London express, and was seen walking out of St
+Euston's Cross. How he has been able to maintain himself in concealment
+without money or clothes, I am unable to imagine.
+
+"As no inquiries have been made for him by his cousin Mr Welsh, or any
+other of his friends or relatives, I am writing to you that you may inform
+them, and I hope that this letter may follow you abroad without delay. I
+may add that the circumstances of his escape showed most unusual cunning,
+and could not possibly have been guarded against.
+
+"Trusting that you are having a pleasant holiday, I am, yours very truly,
+
+                                                   ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON."
+
+The two looked at one another in silence for a minute, and then Welsh
+said, fiercely, "You must catch him again, Twiddel. Do you think I am
+going to have all my risk and trouble for nothing?"
+
+"_I_ must catch him! Do you suppose _I_ let him loose?"
+
+"You must catch him, all the same."
+
+"I shan't bother my head about him," answered Twiddel, with the
+recklessness of despair.
+
+"You won't? You want to have the story known, I suppose?"
+
+"I don't care if it is."
+
+Welsh looked at him for a minute: then he jumped up and exclaimed, "You
+need a drink, old man. Let's hurry up that slavey."
+
+With the first course their countenances cleared a little, with the second
+they were almost composed, by the end of dinner they had started
+plot-hatching hopefully again.
+
+"It's any odds on the man's still being in town," said Welsh. "He had no
+money or clothes, and evidently he hasn't gone to any of his friends, or
+the whole story would have been out. Now, there is nowhere where a man can
+lie low so well, especially if he is hard up, as London. I can answer from
+experience. He is hardly likely to be in the West End, or the best class
+of suburbs, so we've something to go upon at once. We must go to a private
+inquiry office and put men on his track, and then we must take the town in
+beats ourselves. So much is clear; do you see?"
+
+"And hadn't we better find out whether anything more is known at
+Clankwood?" suggested Twiddel. "Dr Congleton wrote a month ago; perhaps
+they have caught him by this time."
+
+"Hardly likely, I'm afraid; he'd have written to you if they had. Still,
+we can but ask."
+
+"But, I say!" the doctor suddenly exclaimed, "people may find out that I'm
+back without him."
+
+Welsh was equal to the emergency.
+
+"You must leave again at once," he said decisively, rising from the table;
+"and there's no good wasting time, either."
+
+"What do you mean?" asked the bewildered doctor, who had not yet
+assimilated the criminal point of view.
+
+"We'll put our luggage straight on to a cab, drive off to other rooms--I
+know a cheap place that will do--and if by any chance inquiries are made,
+people must be told that you are still abroad. Nobody must hear of your
+coming home to-night."
+
+"Is it----" began Twiddel, dubiously.
+
+"Is it what?" snapped his friend.
+
+"Is it worth it?"
+
+"Is L500, not to speak of two reputations, worth it! Come on!"
+
+The unfortunate doctor sighed, and rose too. He was beginning to think
+that the nefarious acquisition of fees might have drawbacks after all.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER II.
+
+
+The chronicle must now go back a few days and follow another up-express.
+
+"I must either be a clergyman or a policeman," Mr Bunker reflected, in the
+corner of his carriage; "they seem to me to be on the whole the two least
+molested professions. Each certainly has a livery which, if its occupier
+is ordinarily judicious, ought to serve as a certificate of sanity. To me
+all policemen are precisely alike, but I daresay they know them apart in
+the force, and as all the beats and crossings are presumably taken
+already, I might excite suspicion by my mere superfluity. Besides, a
+theatrical costumier's uniform would possibly lack some ridiculous but
+essential detail."
+
+He lit another cigar and looked humorously out of the window.
+
+"I shall take orders. An amateur theatrical clergyman's costume will be
+more comfortable, and probably less erroneous. They allow them some
+latitude, I believe; and I don't suppose there are any visible ordination
+scars whose absence would give me away. I shall certainly study the first
+reverend brother I meet to see."
+
+Thus wisely ruminating, he arrived in London at a very early hour on a
+chilly morning, and drove straight to a small hotel near King's Cross,
+where the landlord was much gratified at receiving so respectable a guest
+as the Rev. Alexander Butler. ("I must begin with a B." said Mr Bunker to
+himself; "I think it's lucky.")
+
+It is true the reverend gentleman was in evening clothes, while his hat
+and coat had a singularly secular, not to say fashionable, appearance;
+but, as he mentioned casually in the course of some extremely affable
+remarks, he had been dining in a country house, and had not thought it
+worth while changing before he left. After breakfasting he dressed himself
+in an equally secular suit of tweeds and went out, he mentioned
+incidentally, to call at his tailor's for his professional habit, which he
+seemed surprised to learn had not yet been forwarded to the hotel.
+
+A visit to a certain well-known firm of theatrical costumiers was followed
+by his reappearance in a cab accompanied by a bulky brown paper parcel;
+and presently he emerged from his room attired more consistently with his
+office, much to his own satisfaction, for, as he observed, "I cannot say I
+approve of clergymen masquerading as laymen."
+
+His opinion on the converse circumstance was not expressed.
+
+Much to his landlord's disappointment, he informed him that he should
+probably leave again that afternoon, and then he went out for a walk.
+
+About half an hour later he was once more in the street where, not so very
+long ago, a very exciting cab-race had finished. He strolled slowly past
+Dr Twiddel's house. The blinds of the front room were down; at that hour
+there was no sign of life about it, and he saw nothing at all to arrest
+his attention. Then he looked down the other side of the street, and to
+his great satisfaction spied a card, with the legend "Apartments to let,"
+in one of the first-floor windows of a house immediately opposite.
+
+He rang the bell, and in a moment a rotund and loquacious landlady
+appeared. Yes, the drawing-room was to let; would the reverend gentleman
+come up and see it? Mr Bunker went up, and approved. They readily agreed
+upon terms, and the landlady, charmed with her new lodger's appearance and
+manners, no less than with the respectability of his profession, proceeded
+to descant at some length on the quiet, comfort, and numerous other
+advantages of the apartments.
+
+"Just the very plice you wants, sir. We 'ave 'ad clerical gentlemen 'ere
+before, sir; in fact, there's one a-staying 'ere now, second floor,--you
+may know of 'im, sir,--the Reverend Mr John Duggs; a very pleasant
+gentleman you'll find him, sir. I'll tell 'im you're 'ere, sir; 'e'd be
+sure to like to meet another gentleman of the syme cloth, has they say."
+
+Somehow or other the Rev. Mr Butler failed to display the hearty pleasure
+at this announcement that the worthy Mrs Gabbon had naturally expected.
+
+Aloud he merely said, "Indeed," politely, but with no unusual interest.
+
+Within himself he reflected, "The deuce take Mr John Duggs! However, I
+want the rooms, and a man must risk something."
+
+As a precautionary measure he visited a second-hand bookseller on his way
+back, and purchased a small assortment of the severest-looking works on
+theology they kept in stock; and these, with his slender luggage, he
+brought round to Mrs Gabbon's in the course of the afternoon.
+
+He looked carefully out of his sitting-room window, but the doctor's
+blinds were still down, and he saw no one coming or going about the house;
+so he began his inquiries by calling up his landlady.
+
+"I have been troubled with lumbago, Mrs Gabbon," he began.
+
+"Dearie me, sir," said Mrs Gabbon, "I'm sorry to 'ear that; you that looks
+so 'ealthy too! Well, one never knows what's be'ind a 'appy hexterior,
+does one, sir?"
+
+"No, Mrs Gabbon," replied Mr Bunker, solemnly; "one never knows what even
+a clergyman's coat conceals."
+
+"That's very true, sir. In the midst of life we are in----"
+
+"Lumbago," interposed Mr Bunker.
+
+Mrs Gabbon looked a trifle startled.
+
+"Well," he continued with the same gravity, "I may unfortunately have
+occasion to consult a doctor----"
+
+"There's Dr Smith," interrupted Mrs Gabbon, her equanimity quite restored
+by his ecclesiastical tone and the mention of ailments; "'e attended my
+poor dear 'usband hall through his last illness; an huncommon clever
+doctor, sir, as I ought to know, sir, bein'----"
+
+"No doubt an excellent man, Mrs Gabbon; but I should like to know of one
+as near at hand as possible. Now I see the name of a Dr Twiddel----"
+
+"I wouldn't recommend 'im, sir," said Mrs Gabbon, pursing her mouth.
+
+"Indeed? Why not?"
+
+"'E attended Mrs Brown's servant-girl, sir,--she bein' the lady as has the
+'ouse next door,--and what he give _'er_ didn't do no good. Mrs Brown tell
+me 'erself."
+
+"Still, in an emergency----"
+
+"Besides which, he ain't at 'ome, sir."
+
+"Where has he gone?"
+
+"Abroad, they do say, sir; though I don't rightly know much about 'im."
+
+"Has he been away long?"
+
+Mrs Gabbon considered.
+
+"It must 'ave bin before the middle of November he went, sir."
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed Mr Bunker, keenly, though apparently more to himself than
+his landlady.
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir?"
+
+"The middle of November, you say? That's a long holiday for a doctor to
+take."
+
+"'E 'avn't no practice to speak of,--not as I knows of, leastways."
+
+"What sort of a man is he--young or old?"
+
+"By my opinion, sir, 'e's too young. I don't 'old by them young doctors.
+Now Dr Smith, sir----"
+
+"Dr Twiddel is quite a young man, then?"
+
+"What I'd call little better than a boy, sir. They tell me they lets 'em
+loose very young nowadays."
+
+"About twenty-five, say?"
+
+"'E might be that, sir; but I don't know much about 'im, sir. Now Dr
+Smith, sir, 'e's different."
+
+In fact at this point Mrs Gabbon showed such a tendency to turn the
+conversation back to the merits of Dr Smith and the precise nature of Mr
+Bunker's ailment, that her lodger, in despair, requested her to bring up a
+cup of tea as speedily as possible.
+
+"Before the middle of November," he said to himself. "It is certainly a
+curious coincidence."
+
+To a gentleman of Mr Bunker's sociable habits and active mind, the
+prospect of sitting day by day in the company of his theological treatises
+and talkative landlady, and watching an apparently uninhabited house,
+seemed at first sight even less entertaining than a return to Clankwood.
+But, as he said of himself, he possessed a kind of easy workaday
+philosophy, and, besides that, an apparently irresistible attraction for
+the incidents of life.
+
+He had barely finished his cup of tea, and was sitting over the fire
+smoking one of the Baron's cigars and looking through one of the few books
+he had brought that bore no relation to divinity, his feet high upon the
+side of the mantelpiece, his ready-made costume perhaps a little more
+unbuttoned than the strictest propriety might approve, and a stiff glass
+of whisky-and-water at his elbow, when there came a rap at his door.
+
+In response to his "Come in," a middle-aged gentleman, dressed in clerical
+attire, entered. He had a broad, bearded face, a dull eye, and an
+indescribably average aspect.
+
+"The devil! Mr John Duggs himself," thought Mr Bunker, hastily adopting a
+more conventional attitude and feeling for his button-holes.
+
+"Ah--er--Mr Butler, I believe?" said the stranger, with an apologetic air.
+
+"The same," replied Mr Bunker, smiling affably.
+
+"I," continued his visitor, advancing with more confidence, "am Mr Duggs.
+I am dwelling at present in the apartment immediately above you, and
+hearing of the arrival of a fellow-clergyman, through my worthy friend Mrs
+Gabbon, I have taken the liberty of calling. She gave me to understand
+that you were not undesirous of making my acquaintance, Mr Butler."
+
+"The deuce, she did!" thought Mr Butler. Aloud he answered most politely,
+"I am honoured, Mr Duggs. Won't you sit down?"
+
+First casting a wary eye upon a chair, Mr Duggs seated himself carefully
+on the edge of it.
+
+"It is quite evident," thought Mr Bunker, "that he has spotted something
+wrong. I believe a bobby would have been safer after all."
+
+He assumed the longest face he could draw, and remarked sententiously,
+"The weather has been unpleasantly cold of late, Mr Duggs."
+
+He flattered himself that his guest seemed instantly more at his ease.
+Certainly he replied with as much cordiality as a man with such a dull eye
+could be supposed to display.
+
+"It has, Mr Butler; in fact I have suffered from a chill for some weeks.
+Ahem!"
+
+"Have something to drink," suggested Mr Bunker, sympathetically. "I'm
+trying a little whisky myself, as a cure for cold."
+
+"I--ah--I am sorry. I do not touch spirits."
+
+"I, on the contrary, am glad to hear it. Too few of our clergymen nowadays
+support the cause of temperance by example."
+
+Mr Bunker felt a little natural pride in this happily expressed sentiment,
+but his visitor merely turned his cold eye on the whisky bottle, and
+breathed heavily.
+
+"Confound him!" he thought; "I'll give him something to snort at if he is
+going to conduct himself like this."
+
+"Have a cigar?" he asked aloud.
+
+Mr Duggs seemed to regard the cigar-box a little less unkindly than the
+whisky bottle; but after a careful look at it he replied, "I am afraid
+they seem a little too strong for me. I am a light smoker, Mr Butler."
+
+"Really," smiled Mr Bunker; "so many virtues in one room reminds me of the
+virgins of Gomorrah."
+
+"I beg your pardon? The what?" asked Mr Duggs, with a startled stare.
+
+Mr Bunker suspected that he had made a slip in his biblical reminiscences,
+but he continued to smile imperturbably, and inquired with a perfect air
+of surprise, "Haven't you read the novel I referred to?"
+
+Mr Duggs appeared a little relieved, but he answered blankly enough,
+"I--ah--have not. What is the book you refer to?"
+
+"Oh, don't you know? To tell the truth, I forget the title. It's by a
+somewhat well-known lady writer of religious fiction. A Miss--her name
+escapes me at this moment."
+
+In fact, as Mr Bunker had no idea how long his friend might be dwelling in
+the apartment immediately above him, he thought it more prudent to make no
+statement that could possibly be checked.
+
+"I am no great admirer of religious fiction of any kind," replied Mr
+Duggs, "particularly that written by emotional females."
+
+"No," said Mr Bunker, pleasantly; "I should imagine your own doctrines
+were not apt to err on the sentimental side."
+
+"I am not aware that I have said anything to you about my--doctrines, as
+you call them, Mr Butler."
+
+"Still, don't you think one can generally tell a man's creed from his
+coat, and his sympathies from the way he cocks his hat?"
+
+"I think," replied Mr Duggs, "that our ideas of our vocation are somewhat
+different."
+
+"Mine is, I admit," said Mr Bunker, who had come to the conclusion that
+the strain of playing his part was really too great, and was now being
+happily carried along by his tongue.
+
+Mr Duggs for a moment was evidently disposed to give battle, but thinking
+better of it, he contented himself with frowning at his younger opponent,
+and abruptly changed the subject.
+
+"May I ask what position you hold in the church, Mr Butler?"
+
+"Why," began Mr Bunker, lightly: it was on the tip of his tongue to say "a
+clergyman, of course," when he suddenly recollected that he might be
+anything from the rank of curate up to the people who wear gaiters (and
+who these were precisely he didn't know). An ingenious solution suggested
+itself. He replied with a preliminary inquiry, "Have you ever been in the
+East, Mr Duggs?"
+
+"I regret to say I have not hitherto had the opportunity."
+
+"Thank the Lord for that," thought Mr Bunker. "I have been a missionary,"
+he said quietly, and looked dreamily into the fire.
+
+It was a happy move. Mr Duggs was visibly impressed.
+
+"Ah?" he said. "Indeed? I am much interested to learn this, Mr Butler.
+It--ah--gives me perhaps a somewhat different view of your--ah--opinions.
+Where did your work lie?"
+
+"China," replied Mr Bunker, thinking it best to keep as far abroad as
+possible.
+
+"Ha!" exclaimed Mr Duggs. "This is really extremely fortunate. I am at
+present, Mr Butler, studying the religions and customs of China at the
+British Museum, with a view to going out there myself very shortly. I
+already feel I know almost as much about that most interesting country as
+if I had lived there. I should like to talk with you at some length on the
+subject."
+
+Mr Bunker saw that it was time to put an end to this conversation, at
+whatever minor risk of perturbing his visitor. He had been a little
+alarmed, too, by noticing that Mr Duggs' dull eye had wandered frequently
+to his theological library, which with his usual foresight he had strewn
+conspicuously on the table, and that any expression it had was rather of
+suspicious curiosity than gratification.
+
+"I should like to hear some of your experiences," Mr Duggs continued. "In
+what province did you work?"
+
+"In Hung Hang Ho," replied Mr Bunker. His visitor looked puzzled, but he
+continued boldly, "My experiences were somewhat unpleasant. I became
+engaged to a mandarin's daughter--a charming girl. I was suspected,
+however, of abetting an illicit traffic in Chinese lanterns. My companions
+were manicured alive, and I only made my escape in a pagoda, or a junk--I
+was in too much of a hurry to notice which--at the imminent peril of my
+life. Don't go to China, Mr Duggs."
+
+Mr Duggs rose.
+
+"Young man," he said, sternly, "put away that fatal bottle. I can only
+suppose that it is under the influence of drink that you have ventured to
+tell me such an irreverent and impossible story."
+
+"Sir," began Mr Bunker, warmly,--for he thought that an outburst of
+indignation would probably be the safest way of concluding the
+interview,--when he stopped abruptly and listened. All the time his ears
+had been alive to anything going on outside, and now he heard a cab rattle
+up and stop close by. It might be at Dr Twiddel's, he thought, and,
+turning from his visitor, he sprang to the window.
+
+Remarking distantly, "I hear a cab; it is possibly a friend I am
+expecting," Mr Duggs stepped to the other window.
+
+It was only, however, a hansom at the door of the next house, out of which
+a very golden-haired young lady was stepping. "Aha," said Mr Bunker, quite
+forgetting the indignant _role_ he had begun to play; "rather nice! Is
+this your friend, Mr Duggs?"
+
+Mr Duggs gave him one look of his dull eyes, and walked straight for the
+door. As he went out he merely remarked, "Our acquaintance has been brief,
+Mr Butler, but it has been quite sufficient."
+
+"Quite," thought Mr Bunker.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER III.
+
+
+That was Mr Bunker's first and last meeting with the Rev. John Duggs, and
+he took no small credit to himself for having so effectually incensed his
+neighbour, without, at the same time, bringing suspicion on anything more
+pertinent than his sobriety.
+
+And yet sometimes in the course of the next three days he would have been
+thankful to see him again, if only to have another passage-of-arms. The
+time passed most wearily; the consulting-room blinds were never raised; no
+cabs stopped before the doctor's door; nobody except the little servant
+ever moved about the house.
+
+He could think of no plan better than waiting; and so he waited, showing
+himself seldom in the streets, and even sitting behind the curtain while
+he watched at the window. After writing at some length to the Baron he had
+no further correspondence that he could distract himself with; he was even
+forced once or twice to dip into the theological works. Mrs Gabbon had
+evidently "'eard sommat" from Mr Duggs, and treated him to little of her
+society. The boredom became so excessive that he decided he must make a
+move soon, however rash it was.
+
+The only active step he took, and indeed the only step he saw his way to
+take, was a call on Dr Twiddel's _locum_. But luck seemed to run dead
+against him. Dr Billson had departed "on his holiday," he was informed,
+and would not return for three weeks. So Mr Bunker was driven back to his
+window and the Baron's cigars.
+
+It was the evening of his fourth day in Mrs Gabbon's rooms. He had
+finished a modest dinner and was dealing himself hands at piquet with an
+old pack of cards, when he heard the rattle of a cab coming up the street.
+The usual faint flicker of hope rose: the cab stopped below him, the
+flicker burned brighter, and in an instant he was at the window. He opened
+the slats of the blind, and the flicker was aflame. Before the doctor's
+house a four-wheeled cab was standing laden with luggage, and two men were
+going up the steps. He watched the luggage being taken in and the cab
+drive away, and then he turned radiantly back to the fire.
+
+"The curtain is up," he said to himself. "What's the first act to be?"
+
+Presently he put on his wide-awake hat and went out for a stroll. He
+walked slowly past the doctor's house, but there was nothing to be seen or
+heard. Remembering the room at the back, he was not surprised to find no
+chink of light about the front windows, and thinking it better not to run
+the risk of being seen lingering there, he walked on. He was in such good
+spirits, and had been cooped up so continually for the last few days, that
+he went on and on, and it was not till about a couple of hours had passed
+that he approached his rooms again. As he came down the street he was
+surprised to see by the light of a lamp that another four-wheeler was
+standing before the doctor's house, also laden with luggage.
+
+Two men jumped in, one after another, and when he had come at his fastest
+walk within twenty yards or so, the cabman whipped up and drove rapidly
+away, luggage and men and all.
+
+He looked up and down for a hansom, but there were none to be seen. For a
+few yards he set off at a run in pursuit, and then, finding that the horse
+was being driven at a great rate, and remembering the paucity of stray
+cabs in the quiet streets and roads round about, he stopped and considered
+the question.
+
+"After all," he reflected, "it may not have been Dr Twiddel who drove
+away; in fact, if it was he who arrived in the first cab, it's any odds
+against it. Pooh! It can't be. Still, it's a curious thing if two cabs
+loaded with luggage came to the house in the same evening, and one drove
+away without unlading."
+
+With his spirits a little damped in spite of his philosophy, he went back
+to his rooms.
+
+In the morning the consulting-room blinds were still down, and the house
+looked as deserted as ever.
+
+He waited till lunch, and then he went out boldly and pulled the doctor's
+bell. The same little maid appeared, but she evidently did not recognise
+the fashionable patient who disappeared so mysteriously in the
+demure-looking clergyman at the door.
+
+"Is Dr Twiddel at home?"
+
+"No, sir, he ain't back yet."
+
+"He hasn't been back?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker looked at her keenly, and then said to himself, "She is lying."
+
+He thought he would try a chance shot.
+
+"But he was expected home last night, I believe."
+
+The maid looked a little staggered.
+
+"He ain't been," she replied.
+
+"I happen to have heard that he called here," he hazarded again.
+
+This time she was evidently put about.
+
+"He ain't been here--as I knows of."
+
+He slipped half-a-crown into her hand.
+
+"Think again," he said, in his most winning accents.
+
+The poor little maid was obviously in a dilemma.
+
+"Do you want him particular, sir?"
+
+"Particularly."
+
+She fidgeted a little.
+
+"He told me," he pursued, "that he might look in at his rooms last night.
+He left no message for me?"
+
+"What name, sir?"
+
+"Mr Butler."
+
+"No, sir."
+
+"Then, my dear," said Mr Bunker, with his most insinuating smile, "he was
+here for a little, you can't deny?"
+
+At the maid's embarrassed glance down his long coat, he suddenly realised
+that there was perhaps a distinction between lay and clerical smiles.
+
+"He might have just looked in, sir," she admitted.
+
+"But he didn't want it known?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+"Quite right, I advised him not to, and you did very well not to tell me
+at first."
+
+He smiled approvingly and made a pretence of turning away.
+
+"Oh, by the way," he added, stopping as if struck by an after-thought, "Is
+he still in town? He promised to leave word for me, but he has evidently
+forgotten."
+
+"I don't know, sir; 'e didn't say."
+
+"What? He left _no_ word at all?"
+
+"No, sir."
+
+Mr Bunker held out another half-crown.
+
+"It's truth, sir," said the maid, drawing back; "we don't know where 'e
+is."
+
+"Take it, all the same; you have been very discreet. You have no idea?"
+
+The maid hesitated.
+
+"I _did_ 'ear Mr Welsh say something about lookin' for rooms," she
+allowed.
+
+"In London?"
+
+"I expect so, sir; but 'e didn't say no more."
+
+"Mr Welsh is the friend who came with him, of course?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Thanks," said Mr Bunker. "By the way, Dr Twiddel might not like your
+telling this even to a friend, so you needn't say I called, I'll tell him
+myself when I see him, and I won't give you away."
+
+He smiled benignly, and the little maid thanked him quite gratefully.
+
+"Evidently," he thought as he went away, "I was meant for something in the
+detective line."
+
+He returned to his rooms to meditate, and the longer he thought the more
+puzzled he became, and yet the more convinced that he had taken up a
+thread that must lead him somewhere.
+
+"As for my plan of action," he considered, "I see nothing better for it
+than staying where I am--and watching. This mysterious doctor must surely
+steal back some night. Now and then I might go round the town and try a
+cast in the likeliest bars--oh, hang me, though! I forgot I was a
+clergyman."
+
+That night he had a welcome distraction in the shape of a letter from the
+Baron. It was written from Brierley Park, in the Baron's best pointed
+German hand, and it ran thus--
+
+"MY DEAR BUNKER,--I was greatly more delighted than I am able to express to
+you from the amusing correspondence you addressed me. How glad I am, I can
+assure you, that you are still in safety and comfort. Remember, my dear
+friend, to call for me when need arises, although I do think you can guard
+yourself as well as most alone.
+
+"This leaves me happy and healthful, and in utmost prosperity with the
+kind Sir Richard and his charming Lady. You English certainly know well
+how to cause time to pass with mirth. About instruction I say less!
+
+"They have talked of you here. I laugh and keep my tongue when they wonder
+who he is and whither gone away. Now that anger is passed and they see I
+myself enjoy the joke, they say, and especially do the ladies, (You
+humbug, Bunker!) 'How charming was the imitation, Baron!' You can indeed
+win the hearts, if wishful so. The Lady Grillyer and her unexpressable
+daughter I have often seen. To-day they come here for two nights. I did
+suggest it to Lady Brierley, and I fear she did suspect the condition of
+my heart; but she charmingly smiled, she asked them, and they come!
+
+"The Countess, I fear, does not now love you much, my friend; but then she
+knows not the truth. The Lady Alicia is strangely silent on the matter of
+Mr Bunker, but in time she also doubtless will forgive. (At this Mr Bunker
+smiled in some amusement.)
+
+"When they leave Brierley I also shall take my departure on the following
+day, that is in three days. Therefore write hastily, Bunker, and name the
+place and hour where we shall meet again and dine festively. I expect a
+most reverent clergyman and much instructive discourse. Ah, humbug!--Thine
+always,
+
+                                                 RUDOLPH VON BLITZENBERG."
+
+"_P.S._--She is sometimes more kind and sometimes so distant. Ah, I know
+not what to surmise! But to-morrow or the next my fate will be decided.
+Give me of your prayers, my reverent friend!
+
+                                                                R. VON B."
+
+"Dear old Baron!" said Mr Bunker. "Well, I've at least a dinner to look
+forward to."
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER IV.
+
+
+Dr Twiddel, meanwhile, was no less anxious to make the Rev. Alexander
+Butler's acquaintance than the Rev. Alexander Butler was to make his. Not
+that he was aware of that gentleman's recent change of identity and
+occupation; but most industrious endeavors to find a certain Mr Beveridge
+were made in the course of the next few days. He and Welsh were living
+modestly and obscurely in the neighbourhood of the Pentonville Road,
+scouring the town by day, studying a map and laying the most ingenious
+plans at night. Welsh's first effort, as soon as they were established in
+their new quarters, was to induce his friend to go down to Clankwood and
+make further inquiries, but this Twiddel absolutely declined to do.
+
+"My dear chap," he answered, "supposing anything were found out, or even
+suspected, what am I to say? Old Congleton knows me well, and for his own
+sake doesn't want to make a fuss; but if he really spots that something is
+wrong, he will be so afraid of his reputation that he'd give me away like
+a shot."
+
+"How are you going to give things away by going down and seeing him?"
+
+"_If_ they have guessed anything, I'll give it away. I haven't your cheek,
+you know, and tact, and that sort of thing; you'd much better go
+yourself."
+
+"_I?_ It isn't my business."
+
+"You seem to be making it yours. Besides, Dr Congleton thinks it is. You
+passed yourself off as the chap's cousin, and it is quite natural for you
+to go and inquire."
+
+Welsh pondered the point. "Hang it," he said at last, "it would do just as
+well to write. Perhaps it's safer after all."
+
+"Well, you write."
+
+"Why should I, rather than you?"
+
+"Because you're his cousin."
+
+Welsh considered again. "Well, I don't suppose it matters much. I'll
+write, if you're afraid."
+
+It was these amiable little touches in his friend's conversation that
+helped to make Twiddel's lot at this time so pleasant. In fact, the doctor
+was learning a good deal about human nature in cloudy weather.
+
+With great care Welsh composed a polite note of anxious inquiry, and by
+return of post received the following reply:--
+
+"MY DEAR SIR,--I regret to inform you that we have not so far recovered
+your cousin Mr Beveridge. In all probability, however, this cannot be long
+delayed now, as he was seen within the last week at a country house in
+Dampshire, and is known to have fled to London immediately on his
+recognition, but before he could be secured. He was then clean shaved, and
+had been passing under the name of Francis Bunker. We are making strict
+inquiries for him in London.
+
+"Nobody can regret the unfortunate circumstance of his escape more than I,
+and, in justice to myself and my institution, I can assure you that it was
+only through the most unforeseen and remarkable ingenuity on your cousin's
+part that it occurred.
+
+"Trusting that I may soon be able to inform you of his recovery, I am,
+yours very truly,
+
+                                                   "ADOLPHUS S. CONGLETON.
+
+Their ardour was, if possible, increased by Dr Congleton's letter. Mr
+Beveridge was almost certainly in London, and they knew now that they must
+look for a clean-shaved man. Two private inquiry detectives were at work;
+and on their own account they had mapped the likeliest parts of London
+into beats, visiting every bar and restaurant in turn, and occasionally
+hanging about stations and the stopping-places for 'buses.
+
+It was dreadfully hard work, and after four days of it, even Welsh began
+to get a little sickened.
+
+"Hang it," he said in the evening, "I haven't had a decent dinner since we
+came back. Mr Bunker can go to the devil for to-night, I'm going to dine
+decently. I'm sick of going round pubs, and not even stopping to have a
+drink."
+
+"So am I," replied Twiddel, cordially; "where shall we go?"
+
+"The Cafe Maccarroni," suggested Welsh; "we can't afford a West-end place,
+and they give one a very decent dinner there."
+
+The Cafe Maccarroni in Holborn is nominally of foreign
+extraction,--certainly the waiters and the stout proprietor come from
+sunnier lands,--and many of the diners you can hear talking in strange
+tongues, with quick gesticulations. But for the most part they are
+respectable citizens of London, who drink Chianti because it stimulates
+cheaply and not unpleasantly. The white-painted room is bright and clean
+and seldom very crowded, the British palate can be tickled with tolerable
+joints and cutlets, and the foreign with gravy-covered odds and ends.
+Altogether, it may be recommended to such as desire to dine comfortably
+and not too conspicuously.
+
+The hour at which the two friends entered was later than most of the
+_habitues_ dine, and they had the room almost to themselves. They faced
+each other across a small table beside the wall, and very soon the
+discomforts of their researches began to seem more tolerable.
+
+"We'll catch him soon, old man," said Welsh, smiling more affably than he
+had smiled since they came back. "A day or two more of this kind of work
+and even London won't be able to conceal him any longer."
+
+"Dash it, we must," replied Twiddel, bravely. "We'll show old Congleton
+how to look for a lunatic."
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Welsh, "I think he'll be rather relieved himself.
+Waiter! another bottle of the same."
+
+The bottle arrived, and the waiter was just filling their glasses when a
+young clergyman entered the room and walked quietly towards the farther
+end. Welsh raised his glass and exclaimed, "Here's luck to ourselves,
+Twiddel, old man!"
+
+At that moment the clergyman was passing their table, and at the mention
+of this toast he started almost imperceptibly, and then, throwing a quick
+glance at the two, stopped and took a seat at the next table, with his
+back turned towards them. Welsh, who was at the farther side, looked at
+him with some annoyance, and made a sign to Twiddel to talk a little more
+quietly.
+
+To the waiter, who came with the _menu_, the clergyman explained in a
+quiet voice that he was waiting for a friend, and asked for an evening
+paper instead, in which he soon appeared to be deeply engrossed.
+
+At first the conversation went on in a lower tone, but in a few minutes
+they insensibly forgot their neighbour, and the voices rose again by
+starts.
+
+"My dear fellow," Welsh was saying, "we can discuss that afterwards; we
+haven't caught him yet."
+
+"I want to settle it now."
+
+"But I thought it was settled."
+
+"No, it wasn't," said Twiddel, with a foreign and vinous doggedness.
+
+"What do you suggest then?"
+
+"Divide it equally--L250 each."
+
+"You think you can claim half the credit for the idea and half the
+trouble?"
+
+"I can claim _all_ the risk--practically."
+
+"Pooh!" said Welsh. "You think I risked nothing? Come, come, let's talk of
+something else."
+
+"Oh, rot!" interrupted Twiddel, who by this time was decidedly flushed.
+"You needn't ride the high horse like that, you are not Mr
+Mandell-Essington any longer."
+
+With a violent start, the clergyman brought his fist crash on the table,
+and exclaimed aloud, "By Heaven, that's it!"
+
+
+
+
+                                CHAPTER V.
+
+
+As one may suppose, everybody in the room started in great astonishment at
+this extraordinary outburst. With a sharp "Hollo!" Twiddel turned in his
+seat, to see the clergyman standing over him with a look of the keenest
+inquiry in his well-favoured face.
+
+"May I ask, Dr Twiddel, what you know of the gentleman you just named?" he
+said, with perfect politeness.
+
+The conscience-smitten doctor gazed at him blankly, and the colour
+suddenly left his face. But Welsh's nerves were stronger; and, as he
+looked hard at the stranger, a jubilant light leaped to his eyes.
+
+"It's our man!" he cried, before his friend could gather his wits. "It's
+Beveridge, or Bunker, or whatever he calls himself! Waiter!"
+
+Instantly three waiters, all agog, hurried at his summons.
+
+Mr Bunker regarded him with considerable surprise. He had quite expected
+that the pair would be thrown into confusion, but not that it would take
+this form.
+
+"Excuse me, sir," he began, but Welsh interrupted him by crying to the
+leading waiter--
+
+"Fetch a four-wheeled cab and a policeman, quick!" As the man hesitated,
+he added, "This man here is an escaped lunatic."
+
+The waiter was starting for the door, when Mr Bunker stepped out quickly
+and interrupted him.
+
+"Stop one minute, waiter," he said, with a quiet, unruffled air that went
+far to establish his sanity. "Do I look like a lunatic? Kindly call the
+proprietor first."
+
+The stout proprietor was already on his way to their table, and the one or
+two other diners were beginning to gather round. Mr Bunker's manner had
+impressed even Welsh, and after his nature he took refuge in bluster.
+
+"I say, my man," he cried, "this won't pass. Somebody fetch a cab."
+
+"Vat is dees about?" asked the proprietor, coming up.
+
+"Your wine, I'm afraid, has been rather too powerful for this gentleman,"
+Mr Bunker explained, with a smile.
+
+"Look here," blustered Welsh, "do you know you've got a lunatic in the
+room?"
+
+"You can perhaps guess it," smiled Mr Bunker, indicating Welsh with his
+eyes.
+
+The waiters began to twitter, and Welsh, with an effort, pulled himself
+together.
+
+"My friend here," he said, "is Dr Twiddel, a well-known practitioner in
+London. He can tell you that he certified this man as a lunatic, and that
+he afterwards escaped from his asylum. That is so, Twiddel?"
+
+"Yes," assented Twiddel, whose colour was beginning to come back a little.
+
+"Who are you, sare?" asked the proprietor.
+
+"Show him your card, Twiddel," said Welsh, producing his own and handing
+it over.
+
+The proprietor looked at both cards, and then turned to Mr Bunker.
+
+"And who are you, sare?"
+
+"My name is Mandell-Essington."
+
+"His name----" began Welsh.
+
+"Have you a card?" interposed the proprietor.
+
+"I am sorry I have not," replied Mr Bunker (to still call him by the name
+of his choice).
+
+"His name is Francis Beveridge," said Welsh.
+
+"I beg your pardon; it is Mandell-Essington."
+
+"Any other description?" Welsh asked, with a sneer.
+
+"A gentleman, I believe."
+
+"No other occupation?"
+
+"Not unless you can call a justice of the peace such," replied Mr Bunker,
+with a smile.
+
+"And yet he disguises himself as a clergyman!" exclaimed Welsh,
+triumphantly, turning to the proprietor.
+
+Mr Bunker saw that he was caught, but he merely laughed, and observed, "My
+friend here disguises himself in liquor, a much less respectable cloak."
+
+Unfortunately the humour of this remark was somewhat thrown away on his
+present audience; indeed, coming from a professed clergyman, it produced
+an unfavourable impression.
+
+"You are not a clergyman?" said the proprietor, suspiciously.
+
+"I am glad to say I am not," replied Mr Bunker, frankly.
+
+"Den vat do you do in dis dress?"
+
+"I put it on as a compliment to the cloth; I retain it at present for
+decency," said Mr Bunker, whose tongue had now got a fair start of him.
+
+"Mad," remarked Welsh, confidentially, shrugging his shoulders with really
+excellent dramatic effect.
+
+By this time the audience were disposed to agree with him.
+
+"You can give no better account of yourself dan dis?" asked the
+proprietor.
+
+"I am anxious to," replied Mr Bunker, "but a public restaurant is not the
+place in which I choose to give it."
+
+"Fetch the cab and the policeman," said Welsh to a waiter.
+
+At this moment another gentleman entered the room, and at the sight of him
+Mr Bunker's face brightened, and he stopped the waiter by a cry of, "Wait
+one moment; here comes a gentleman who knows me."
+
+Everybody turned, and beheld a burly, very fashionably dressed young man,
+with a fair moustache and a cheerful countenance.
+
+"Ach, Bonker!" he cried.
+
+This confirmation of Mr Bunker's _aliases_ ought, one would expect, to
+have delighted the two conspirators, but, instead, it produced the most
+remarkable effect. Twiddel utterly collapsed, while even Welsh's impudence
+at last deserted him. Neither said a word as the Baron von Blitzenberg
+greeted his friend with affectionate heartiness.
+
+"My friend, zis is good for ze heart! Bot, how? vat makes it here?"
+
+"My dear Baron, the most unfortunate mistake has occurred. Two men here----"
+But at this moment he stopped in great surprise, for the Baron was staring
+hard first at Welsh and then at Twiddel.
+
+"Ah!" he exclaimed, "Mr Mandell-Essington, I zink?"
+
+Welsh hesitated for an instant, and his hesitation was evident to all.
+Then he replied, "No, you are mistaken."
+
+"Surely I cannot be; you did stay in Fogelschloss?" said the Baron. "Is
+not zis Dr Twiddel?"
+
+"No--er--ah--yes," stammered Twiddel, looking feebly at Welsh.
+
+The Baron looked from the one to the other in great perplexity, when Mr
+Bunker, who had been much puzzled by this conversation, broke in, "Did you
+call that person Mandell-Essington?"
+
+"I cairtainly zought it vas."
+
+"Where did you meet him?"
+
+"In Bavaria, at my own castle."
+
+"You are mistaken, sir," said Welsh.
+
+"One moment, Mr Welsh," said Mr Bunker. "How long ago was this, Baron?"
+
+"Jost before I gom to London. He travelled viz zis ozzer gentleman, Dr
+Twiddel."
+
+"You are wrong, sir," persisted Welsh.
+
+"For his health," added the Baron.
+
+A light began to dawn on Mr Bunker.
+
+"His health?" he cried, and then smiled politely at Welsh.
+
+"We will talk this over, Mr Welsh."
+
+"I am sorry I happen to be going," said Welsh, taking his hat and coat.
+
+"What, without your lunatic?" asked Mr Bunker.
+
+"That is Dr Twiddel's affair, not mine. Kindly let me pass, sir."
+
+"No, Mr Welsh; if you go now, it will be in the company of that policeman
+you were so anxious to send for." There was such an unmistakable threat in
+Mr Bunker's voice and eye that Welsh hesitated. "We will talk it over, Mr
+Welsh," Mr Bunker repeated distinctly. "Kindly sit down. I have several
+things to ask you and your friend Dr Twiddel."
+
+Muttering something under his breath, Welsh hung up his coat and hat, sat
+down, and then assuming an air of great impudence, remarked, "Fire away,
+Mr Mandell-Essington--Beveridge--Bunker, or whatever you call yourself."
+
+Without paying the slightest attention to this piece of humour, Mr Bunker
+turned to the bewildered proprietor, and, to the intense disappointment of
+the audience, said, "You can leave us now, thank you; our talk is likely
+to be of a somewhat private nature." As their gallery withdrew, he drew up
+a chair for the Baron, and all four sat round the small table.
+
+"Now," said Mr Bunker to Welsh, "you will perhaps be kind enough to give
+me a precise account of your doings since the middle of November."
+
+"I'm d----d if I do," replied Welsh.
+
+"Sare," interposed the Baron in his stateliest manner, "I know not now who
+you may be, but I see you are no gentleman. Ven you are viz gentlemen--and
+noblemen--you vill please to speak respectfully."
+
+The stare that Welsh attempted in reply was somewhat ineffective.
+
+"Perhaps, Dr Twiddel, you can give the account I want?" said Mr Bunker.
+
+The poor doctor looked at his friend, hesitated, and finally stammered
+out, "I--I don't see why."
+
+Mr Bunker pulled a paper out of his pocket and showed it to him.
+
+"Perhaps this may suggest a why."
+
+When the doctor saw the bill for Mr Beveridge's linen, the last of his
+courage ebbed away. He glanced helplessly at Welsh, but his ally was now
+leaning back in his chair with such an irritating assumption of
+indifference, and the prospective fee had so obviously vanished, that he
+was suddenly seized with the most virtuous resolutions.
+
+"What do you want to know, sir?" he asked.
+
+"In the first place, how did you come to have anything to do with me?"
+
+Welsh, whose sharp wits instantly divined the weak point in the attack,
+cut in quickly, "Don't tell him if he doesn't know already!"
+
+But Twiddel's relapse to virtue was complete. "I was asked to take charge
+of you while----" He hesitated.
+
+"While I was unwell," smiled Mr Bunker. "Yes?"
+
+"I was to travel with you."
+
+"Ah!"
+
+"But I--I didn't like the idea, you see; and so--in fact--Welsh suggested
+that I should take him instead."
+
+"While you locked me up in Clankwood?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Bunker, "I must say it was a devilish humorous
+idea."
+
+At this Twiddel began to take heart again.
+
+"I am very sorry, sir, for----" he began, when the Baron interrupted
+excitedly.
+
+"Zen vat is your name, Bonker?"
+
+"_I_ am Mr Mandell-Essington, Baron."
+
+The Baron looked at the other two in turn with wide-open eyes.
+
+Then he turned indignantly upon Welsh.
+
+"You were impostor zen, sare? You gom to my house and call yourself a
+gentleman, and impose upon me, and tell of your family and your estates.
+You, a low--er--er--vat you say?--a low _cad!_ Bonker, I cannot sit at ze same
+table viz zese persons!"
+
+He rose as he spoke.
+
+"One moment, Baron! Before we send these gentlemen back to their really
+promising career of fraud, I want to ask one or two more questions." He
+turned to Twiddel. "What were you to be paid for this?"
+
+"L500."
+
+Mr Bunker opened his eyes. "That's the way my money goes? From your
+anxiety to recapture me, I presume you have not yet been paid?"
+
+"No, I assure you, Mr Essington," said Twiddel, eagerly; "I give you my
+word."
+
+"I shall judge by the circumstances rather than your word, sir. It is
+perhaps unnecessary to inform you that you have had your trouble for
+nothing." He looked at them both as though they were curious animals, and
+then continued: "You, Mr Welsh, are a really wonderfully typical rascal. I
+am glad to have met you. You can now put on your coat and go." As Welsh
+still sat defiantly, he added, "_At once_, sir! or you may possibly find
+policemen and four-wheeled cabs outside. I have something else to say to
+Dr Twiddel."
+
+With the best air he could muster, Welsh silently cocked his hat on the
+side of his head, threw his coat over his arm, and was walking out, when a
+watchful waiter intercepted him.
+
+"Your bill, sare."
+
+"My friend is paying."
+
+"No, Mr Welsh," cried the real Essington; "I think you had better pay for
+this dinner yourself."
+
+Welsh saw the vigilant proprietor already coming towards him, and with a
+look that augured ill for Twiddel when they were alone, he put his hand in
+his pocket.
+
+"Ha, ha!" laughed Essington, "the inevitable bill!"
+
+"And now," he continued, turning to Twiddel, "you, doctor, seem to me a
+most unfortunately constructed biped; your nose is just long enough to
+enable you to be led into a singularly original adventure, and your brains
+just too few to carry it through creditably. Hang me if I wouldn't have
+made a better job of the business! But before you disappear from the
+company of gentlemen I must ask you to do one favour for me. First thing
+to-morrow morning you will go down to Clankwood, tell what lie you please,
+and obtain my legal discharge, or whatever it's called. After that you may
+go to the devil--or, what comes much to the same thing, to Mr Welsh--for all
+I care. You will do this without fail?"
+
+"Ye--es," stammered Twiddel, "certainly, sir."
+
+"You may now retire--and the faster the better."
+
+As the crestfallen doctor followed his ally out of the restaurant, the
+Baron exclaimed in disgust, "Ze cads! You are too merciful. You should
+punish."
+
+"My dear Baron, after all I am obliged to these rascals for the most
+amusing time I have ever had in my life, and one of the best friends I've
+ever made."
+
+"Ach, Bonker! Bot vat do I say? You are not Bonker no more, and yet may I
+call you so, jost for ze sake of pleasant times? It vill be too hard to
+change."
+
+"I'd rather you would, Baron. It will be a perpetual in memoriam record of
+my departed virtues."
+
+"Departed, Bonker?"
+
+"Departed, Baron," his friend repeated with a sigh; "for how can I ever
+hope to have so spacious a field for them again? Believe me, they will
+wither in an atmosphere of orthodoxy. And now let us order dinner."
+
+"But first," said the Baron, blushing, "I haf a piece of news."
+
+"Baron, I guess it!"
+
+"Ze Lady Alicia is now mine! Congratulate!"
+
+"With all my heart, Baron! What could be a fitter finish than the
+detection of villainy, the marriage of all the sane people, and the
+apotheosis of the lunatic?"
+
+
+
+                                 THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                                 ERRATA.
+
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER IV.
+      Changed: he whistled, *The* sounds outside
+      To: he whistled, *the* sounds outside
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VI.
+      Changed: Ye*-*es.
+      To: Ye*--*es.
+
+      PART I.
+      CHAPTER VII.
+      Changed: which that *disapponted* official only
+      To: which that *disappointed* official only
+
+      PART III.
+      CHAPTER V.
+      Changed: something out*.*" he said
+      To: something out*,*" he said
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: to me, *$*200 to you
+      To: to me, *L*200 to you
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER I.
+      Changed: _I_ let him loose?*'*
+      To: _I_ let him loose?*"*
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER II.
+      Changed: * *Indeed? Why not?"
+      To: *"*Indeed? Why not?"
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: on his *wideawake* hat and
+      To: on his *wide-awake* hat and
+
+      PART IV.
+      CHAPTER III.
+      Changed: "What *nime*, sir?"
+      To: "What *name*, sir?"
+
+
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUNATIC AT LARGE***
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