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+ "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" />
+<title>Masques &amp; Phases</title>
+ <style type="text/css">
+/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */
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+ .blkquot {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */
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+<h2>
+<a href="#startoftext">Masques &amp; Phases, by Robert Ross</a>
+</h2>
+<pre>
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Masques &amp; Phases, by Robert Ross
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Masques &amp; Phases
+
+
+Author: Robert Ross
+
+
+
+Release Date: January 24, 2006 [eBook #17601]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MASQUES &amp; PHASES***
+</pre>
+<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p>
+<p>Transcribed from the December 1909 Arthur L. Humphreys edition by
+David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk</p>
+<h1><!-- page iii--><a name="pageiii"></a><span class="pagenum">p. iii</span>MASQUES
+&amp; PHASES</h1>
+<p>BY<br />
+ROBERT ROSS</p>
+<p>LONDON:<br />
+ARTHUR L. HUMPHREYS<br />
+187 PICCADILLY, W.<br />
+1909</p>
+<p><!-- page iv--><a name="pageiv"></a><span class="pagenum">p. iv</span>The
+author wishes to express his indebtedness, to Messrs. Smith, Elder for
+leave to reproduce &lsquo;A Case at the Museum,&rsquo; which appeared
+in the <i>Cornhill</i> of October, 1900; to the Editor of the <i>Westminster
+Gazette</i>, which first published the account of Simeon Solomon; and
+to the former proprietors of the Wilsford Press, for kindly allowing
+other articles to be here reissued.&nbsp; &lsquo;How we Lost the Book
+of Jasher&rsquo; and &lsquo;The Brand of Isis&rsquo; were contributed
+to two undergraduate publications, <i>The Spirit Lamp</i> and <i>The
+Oxford Point of View</i>.</p>
+<p><!-- page vi--><a name="pagevi"></a><span class="pagenum">p. vi</span><i>To</i>
+HAROLD CHILD, <span class="smcap">Esq</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page ix--><a name="pageix"></a><span class="pagenum">p. ix</span>THE
+DEDICATION.</h2>
+<p><span class="smcap">My Dear Child</span>,</p>
+<p>It is not often the privilege of a contributor to address his former
+editor in so fatherly a fashion; yet it is appropriate because you justified
+an old proverb in becoming, if I may say so, my literary parent.&nbsp;
+Though I had enjoyed the hospitality, I dare not say the welcome, of
+more than one London editor, you were the first who took off the bearing-rein
+from my frivolity.&nbsp; You allowed me that freedom, of manner and
+matter, which I have only experienced in undergraduate periodicals.&nbsp;
+It is not any lack of gratitude to such distinguished editors as the
+late Mr. Henley; or Mr. Walter Pollock, who first accorded me the courtesies
+of print in a periodical not distinguished for its courtesy; or Professor
+C. J. Holmes, who has occasionally endured me with patience in the <i>Burlington
+Magazine</i>; or Mr. Edmund Gosse, to whom I <!-- page x--><a name="pagex"></a><span class="pagenum">p. x</span>am
+under special obligations; that I address myself particularly to you.&nbsp;
+But I, who am not frightened of many things, have always been frightened
+of editors.&nbsp; I am filled with awe when I think of the ultramarine
+pencil that is to delete my ultramontane views.&nbsp; You were, as I
+have hinted, the first to abrogate its use in my favour.&nbsp; When
+you, if not Consul, were at least Plancus, I think the only thing you
+ever rejected of mine was an essay entitled &lsquo;Editors, their Cause
+and Cure.&rsquo;&nbsp; It is not included, for obvious reasons, in the
+present volume, of which you will recognise most of the contents.&nbsp;
+These may seem even to your indulgent eyes a trifle miscellaneous and
+disconnected.&nbsp; Still there is a thread common to all, though I
+cannot claim for them uniformity.&nbsp; There is no strict adherence
+to those artificial divisions of literature into fiction, essay, criticism,
+and poetry.&nbsp; Count Tolstoy, however, has shown us that a novel
+may be an essay rather than a story.&nbsp; No less a writer than Swift
+used the medium of fiction for his most brilliant criticism of life;
+his fables, apart from their satire, are often mere essays.&nbsp; Plato,
+Sir Thomas More, <!-- page xi--><a name="pagexi"></a><span class="pagenum">p. xi</span>William
+Morris, and Mr. H. G. Wells have not disdained to transmit their philosophy
+under the domino of romance or myth.&nbsp; Some of the greatest poets&mdash;Ruskin
+and Pater for example&mdash;have chosen prose for their instrument of
+expression.&nbsp; If that theory is true of literature&mdash;and I ask
+you to accept it as true&mdash;how much truer is it of journalism, at
+least such journalism as mine; though I see a great gulf between literature
+and journalism far greater than that between fiction and essay-writing.&nbsp;
+The line, too, dividing the poetry of Keats from the prose of Sir Thomas
+Browne is far narrower, in my opinion, than the line dividing Pope from
+Tennyson.&nbsp; And I say this mindful of Byron&rsquo;s scornful couplet
+and the recent animadversions of Lord Morley.</p>
+<p>There are essays in my book cast in the form of fiction; criticism
+cast in the form of parody; and a vein of high seriousness sufficiently
+obvious, I hope, behind the masques and phases of my jesting.&nbsp;
+The psychological effects produced by works of art and arch&aelig;ology,
+by drama and books, on men and situations&mdash;such are the themes
+of these passing observations.</p>
+<p><!-- page xii--><a name="pagexii"></a><span class="pagenum">p. xii</span>And
+though you find them like an old patchwork quilt I hope you will laugh,
+in token of your acceptance, if not of the book at least of my lasting
+regard and friendship for yourself.</p>
+<p>Ever yours,<br />
+<span class="smcap">Robert Ross</span>.</p>
+<p>5 <i>Hertford Street</i>, <i>Mayfair</i>, <i>W</i>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 1--><a name="page1"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 1</span>A
+CASE AT THE MUSEUM.</h2>
+<p>It is a common error to confuse the arch&aelig;ologist with the mere
+collector of ignoble trifles, equally pleased with an unusual postage
+stamp or a scarce example of an Italian primitive.&nbsp; Nor should
+the impertinent curiosity of local antiquaries, which sees in every
+disused chalk-pit traces of Roman civilisation, be compared with the
+rare predilection requisite for a nobler pursuit.&nbsp; The arch&aelig;ologist
+preserves for us those objects which time has forgotten and passing
+fashion rejected; in the museums he buries our ancient eikons, where
+they become impervious to neglect, praise, or criticism; while the collector&mdash;a
+malicious atavist unless he possess accidental perceptions&mdash;merely
+rescues the mistakes of his forefathers, to crowd public galleries with
+an inconsequent lumber which a better taste has taught as to despise.</p>
+<p><!-- page 2--><a name="page2"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 2</span>In
+the magic of escaped conventions surely none is more powerful than the
+Greek, and even now, though we yawn over the enthusiasm of the Renaissance
+mirrored in our more cadenced prose, there are some who can still catch
+the delightful contagion which seized the princes and philosophers of
+Europe in that Martin&rsquo;s Summer of Middle Age.</p>
+<p>Of the New Learning already become old, Professor Lachsyrma is reputed
+a master.&nbsp; Scarcely any one in England holds a like position.&nbsp;
+He is sixty, and, though his youth is said to have been eventful, he
+hardly looks his age.&nbsp; He speaks English with a delightful accent,
+and there always hangs about his presence a melancholy halo of mystery
+and Italy.&nbsp; His quiet unassumed familiarity with every museum and
+library on the Continent astonishes even the most erudite Teuton.&nbsp;
+Among arch&aelig;ologists he is thought a pre-eminent pal&aelig;ographer,
+among pal&aelig;ographers a great arch&aelig;ologist.&nbsp; I have heard
+him called the Furtw&auml;ngler of Britain.&nbsp; His facsimiles and
+collated texts of the classics are familiar throughout the world.&nbsp;
+He has independent <!-- page 3--><a name="page3"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 3</span>means,
+and from time to time entertains English and foreign <i>cognoscenti</i>
+with elegant simplicity at his wonderful house in Kensington.&nbsp;
+His conversation is more informing than brilliant.&nbsp; Yet you may
+detect an unaccountable melancholy in his voice and manner, attributed
+by the irreverent to his constant visits to the Museum.&nbsp; Religious
+people, of course, refer to his loss of faith at Oxford; for I regret
+to say the Professor has been an habitual freethinker these many years.</p>
+<p>However it may be, Professor Lachsyrma is sad, and has not yet issued
+his edition of the newly discovered poems of Sappho unearthed in Egypt
+some time since&mdash;an edition awaited so impatiently by poets and
+scholars.</p>
+<p>Some years ago, on retiring from his official appointment, Professor
+Lachsyrma, being a married man, searched for some apartment remote from
+his home, where he might work undisturbed at labours long since become
+important pleasures.&nbsp; You cannot grapple with uncials, cursives,
+and the like in a domestic environment.&nbsp; The preparation of facsimiles,
+transcripts, and pal&aelig;ographical observations, reports of excavations
+and <!-- page 4--><a name="page4"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 4</span>catalogues,
+demands isolation and complete immunity from the trivialities of social
+existence.</p>
+<p>In a large Bloomsbury studio he found a retreat suitable to his requirements.&nbsp;
+The uninviting entrance, up a stone staircase leading immediately from
+the street, was open till nightfall, the rest of the house being used
+for storage by second-hand dealers in Portland Street.&nbsp; No one
+slept on the premises, but a caretaker came at stated intervals to light
+fires and close the front door; for which, however, the Professor owned
+a pass-key, each room having, as in modern flats, an independent door
+that might be locked at pleasure.&nbsp; The general gloom of the building
+never tempted casual callers.&nbsp; The Professor purposely abstained
+from the decoration or even ordinary furnishing of his chamber.&nbsp;
+The whitewashed walls were covered with dust-bitten maps, casts of bas-reliefs,
+engravings of ruins.&nbsp; Behind the door were stacked huge packing-cases
+containing the harvest of a recent journey to the eastern shores of
+the Mediterranean.&nbsp; Along one wall mutilated statues and torsos
+were promiscuously mounted on trestles or temporary <!-- page 5--><a name="page5"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 5</span>pedestals
+made of inverted wooden boxes.&nbsp; Above them a large series of shelves
+bulging with folios, manuscript notebooks, pamphlets, and catalogues
+ran up to the window, which faced north-east, admitting a strong top-light
+through panes of ground glass; the lower sash was hidden by permanent
+blinds in order to shut out all view of the opposite houses and the
+street below.&nbsp; A long narrow table occupied the centre of the room.&nbsp;
+It was always strewn with magnifying-glasses, proofs, printers&rsquo;
+slips, negatives&mdash;the litter of a pal&aelig;ographic student.&nbsp;
+There were three or four wooden chairs for the benefit of scholarly
+friends, and an armchair upholstered in green rep near the stove.&nbsp;
+In a corner stood the most striking, perhaps the only striking, object
+in the room&mdash;a huge mummy from the Fayy&ucirc;m.&nbsp; The canopic
+jars and outer coffins belonging to it were still unpacked in the freight
+cases.&nbsp; It had been purchased from a bankrupt Armenian dealer in
+Cairo along with a number of Gr&aelig;co-Egyptian antiquities and papyri,
+of far greater interest to the Professor than the mummy itself.&nbsp;
+As soon as the interior was examined it was to be presented to the Museum;
+but more <!-- page 6--><a name="page6"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 6</span>entertaining
+and important studies delayed its removal.&nbsp; For many months, with
+a curious grave smile, the face on the shell seemed to look down with
+amused and permanent interest on Professor Lachsyrma struggling with
+the orthography of some forgotten scribe, and arguing with a friend
+on mutilated or corrupt passages in a Greek palimpsest.</p>
+<p>Here, late one afternoon, Professor Lachsyrma was deciphering some
+yellow leaves of papyrus.&nbsp; The dusk was falling, and he laid down
+the pen with which he was delicately transcribing uncials on sheets
+of foolscap, in order to light a lamp on the table.&nbsp; It was 6.30
+by an irritating little American clock recently presented him by one
+of his children, noisy symbol and only indication that he held commune
+with a modern life he so heartily despised.&nbsp; As the housekeeper
+entered with some tea he took up a copy of a morning paper (a violent
+transition from uncials), and glanced at the first lines of the leader:</p>
+<blockquote><p>The Trustees of the British Museum announce one of the
+most sensational literary discoveries in recent years, a discovery which
+must startle the world of scholars, and even the apathetic public at
+large.&nbsp; This <!-- page 7--><a name="page7"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 7</span>is
+none other than the recovery of the long-lost poems of Sappho, manuscripts
+of which were last heard of in the tenth century, when they were burnt
+at Rome and Byzantium.&nbsp; We shall have to go back to the fifteenth
+century, to the Fall of Constantinople, to the Revival of Learning,
+ere we can find a fitting parallel to match the importance of this recent
+find.&nbsp; Not since the spade of the excavator uncovered from its
+shroud of earth the flawless beauty of the Olympian Hermes has such
+a delightful acquisition been made to our knowledge of Greek literature.&nbsp;
+The name of Professor Lachsyrma has long been one to conjure with, and
+all of us should experience pleasure (where surprise in his case is
+out of the question) on learning that his recent tour to Egypt, besides
+greatly benefiting his health, was the means of restoring to eager posterity
+one of the most precious monuments of Hellenic culture.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>&lsquo;Dear me, I had no idea the press could be so entertaining,&rsquo;
+thought the Professor, as a smile of satisfaction spread over his well-chiselled
+face.&nbsp; Arch&aelig;ologists are not above reading personal paragraphs
+and leaders about themselves, though current events do not interest
+them.&nbsp; So absorbing is their pursuit of antiquity that they are
+obliged to affect a plausible indifference and a refined ignorance about
+modern affairs.&nbsp; Nor are they very <!-- page 8--><a name="page8"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 8</span>generous
+members of the community.&nbsp; Perhaps dealing in dead gods, perpetually
+handling precious objects which have ceased to have any relation to
+life, or quarrelling about languages no one ever uses, blunts their
+sensibilities.&nbsp; At all events, they have none of that loyalty distinguishing
+members of other learned professions.&nbsp; The canker of jealousy eats
+perpetually at their hearts.</p>
+<p>Professor Lachsyrma was too well endowed by fortune to grudge his
+former colleagues their little incomes or inadequate salaries at the
+Museum.&nbsp; Still, his recent discovery would not only enhance his
+fame in the learned world and his reputed <i>flair</i> for manuscripts&mdash;it
+would irritate those rivals in England and Germany who, in the more
+solemn reviews, resisted some of his conclusions, canvassed his facts,
+and occasionally found glaring errors in his texts.&nbsp; How jealous
+the discovery would make young Fairleigh, for all his unholy knowledge
+of Greek vases, his handsome profile, and his predilection for going
+too frequently into society!&mdash;a taste not approved by other officials.&nbsp;
+How it would anger old Gully!&nbsp; Professor Lachsyrma drank some more
+tea with further satisfaction.&nbsp; <!-- page 9--><a name="page9"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 9</span>Sappho
+herself could not have felt more elated on the completion of one of
+her odes; we know she was poignant and sensitive.&nbsp; Thus for a whole
+hour he idled with his thoughts&mdash;rare occupation for so industrious
+a man.&nbsp; He was startled from the reverie by a slight knock at his
+door.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Come in,&rsquo; he said coldly.&nbsp; There was a touch of
+annoyance in his tone.&nbsp; Visitors, frequent enough in the morning,
+rarely disturbed him in the afternoon.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;To whom have I the&mdash;duty of speaking?&rsquo;&nbsp; He
+raised his well-preserved spare form to its full height.&nbsp; The long
+loose alpaca coat, velvet skull-cap, and pointed beard gave him the
+appearance of an eminent ecclesiastic.</p>
+<p>The subdued light in the room presented only a dim figure on the
+threshold, and the piercing eyes of the Professor could only see a blurred
+white face against the black frame of the open door.&nbsp; A strange
+voice replied:</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I am sorry to disturb you, Professor Lachsyrma.&nbsp; I shall
+not detain you for more than&mdash;an hour.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;If you will kindly write and state the nature of your business,
+I can give you an <!-- page 10--><a name="page10"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 10</span>appointment
+to-morrow or the day after.&nbsp; At the present moment, you will observe,
+I am busy.&nbsp; I never see visitors except by appointment.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I am sorry to inconvenience you.&nbsp; Necessity compels me
+to choose my own hours for interviewing any one.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The Professor then suddenly removed the green cardboard shade from
+the lamp.&nbsp; The discourteous intruder was now visible for his inspection.</p>
+<p>He was a fair man of uncertain age, but could not be more than twenty-eight.&nbsp;
+He wore his flaxen hair rather long and ill-kempt; his face might have
+been handsome, but the flesh was white and flaccid; the features, though
+regular, devoid of character; the blue eyes had so little expression
+that a professed physiognomist would have found difficulty in &lsquo;placing&rsquo;
+their possessor.&nbsp; His black clothes were shiny with age; his gait
+was shuffling and awkward.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;My name, though it will not convey very much to you, is Frank
+Carrel.&nbsp; I am a scholar, an arch&aelig;ologist, a pal&aelig;ographer,
+and&mdash;other things besides.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 11--><a name="page11"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 11</span>&lsquo;A
+beggar and a British Museum reader,&rsquo; was the mental observation
+of the Professor.&nbsp; The other seemed to read his thoughts.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;You think I want pecuniary assistance; well, I do.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I fear you have come to the wrong person, at the wrong time,
+and if I may say so, in the wrong way.&nbsp; I do not like to be disturbed
+at this hour.&nbsp; Will you kindly leave me this instant?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Carrel&rsquo;s manner changed and became more deferential.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;If you will allow me to show you something on which I want
+your opinion, something I can leave with you, I will go away at once
+and come back to-morrow at any time you name.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Very well,&rsquo; said the Professor, wearily, ready to compromise
+the matter for the moment.</p>
+<p>From a small bag he was carrying Carrel produced a roll of papyrus.&nbsp;
+The Professor&rsquo;s eyes gleamed; he held out his hands greedily to
+receive it, fixing a searching, suspicious glance on Carrel.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Where did you get this, may I ask?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 12--><a name="page12"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 12</span>&lsquo;I
+want your opinion first, and then I will tell you.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The Professor moved towards the lamp, replaced the cardboard green
+shade, sat down, and with a strong magnifying-glass examined the papyrus
+with evident interest.&nbsp; Carrel, appreciating the interest he was
+exciting, talked on in rapid jerky sentences.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Yes.&nbsp; I think you will be able to help me.&nbsp; I am
+sure you will do so.&nbsp; Like yourself, I am a scholar, and might
+have occupied a position in Europe similar to your own.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The Professor smiled grimly, but did not look up from the table as
+Carrel continued:</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Mine has been a strange career.&nbsp; I was educated abroad.&nbsp;
+I became a scholar at Cambridge.&nbsp; There was no prize I did not
+carry off.&nbsp; I knew more Greek than both Universities put together.&nbsp;
+Then I was cursed not only with inclination for vices, but with capacity
+and courage to practise them&mdash;liquor, extravagance, gambling&mdash;amusements
+for rich people; but I was poor.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;It is a very sad and a very common story,&rsquo; said the
+Professor sententiously, but without looking up from the table.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;I myself was an <!-- page 13--><a name="page13"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 13</span>Oxford
+man.&nbsp; Your name is quite unfamiliar to me.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I fancy if you asked them at Cambridge they would certainly
+remember me.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I shall make a point of doing so,&rsquo; said the professor
+drily.&nbsp; He affected to be giving only partial attention to the
+narrative; but though he seemed to be sedulous in his examination of
+the papyrus, he was listening intently.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I was a great disappointment to the Dons,&rsquo; Carrel said
+with a short laugh, and he lit a cigarette with all the swagger of an
+undergraduate.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;And to your parents?&rsquo; queried Lachsyrma.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;My mother was dead.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t exactly know who my
+father was.&nbsp; I fear these details bore you, however.&nbsp; To-morrow&mdash;&rsquo;
+he added satirically.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;A very romantic story, no doubt,&rsquo; said the Professor,
+rising from his chair, &lsquo;and it interests me&mdash;moderately;
+but before we go on any further, I will be candid with you.&nbsp; That
+papyrus is a forgery&mdash;a very clever forgery, too.&nbsp; I wonder
+why the writer tried Euripides; we have almost enough of him.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 14--><a name="page14"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 14</span>&lsquo;So
+do I sometimes,&rsquo; returned Carrel cheerfully.&nbsp; The Professor
+arched his eyebrows in surprise.</p>
+<p>He removed the green cardboard lampshade to keep his equivocal visitor
+under strict observation.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;If you knew it was a forgery, why did you waste my time and
+your own in bringing it here?&nbsp; In order to tell me a long story
+about yourself, which if true is extraordinarily dull?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>It is almost an established convention for experts to be rude when
+they have given an adverse opinion on anything submitted to them.&nbsp;
+It gives weight to their statements.&nbsp; In the present case, however,
+the Professor was really annoyed.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I wanted to know if you recognised the papyrus,&rsquo; said
+Carrel, and he smiled disingenuously.&nbsp; The Professor was startled.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Yes; it was offered to me in Cairo last winter by a German
+dealer in antiquities.&nbsp; I recognised it at once.&nbsp; May I felicitate
+the talented author?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;No.&nbsp; You would have been taken in if I were the author.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 15--><a name="page15"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 15</span>Professor
+Lachsyrma waved a white hand, loaded with scarabs and gems, in a deprecatory,
+patronising manner towards Carrel.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I must apologise if I have wronged you.&nbsp; I am hardened
+to these little amenities between brother pal&aelig;ographers.&nbsp;
+Envy, jealousy, call it what you will, attacks those in high places.&nbsp;
+There may be unrecognised artists, mute inglorious Miltons, Chattertons,
+starving in garrets, Shakespeares in the workhouse, while dull modern
+productions are applauded on the silly English stage, and poetasters
+are crowned by the Academies; but believe me that in Arch&aelig;ology,
+in the deciphering of manuscripts, the quack is detected immediately.&nbsp;
+The science has been carried to such a state of perfection that, if
+our knowledge is still unhappily imperfect, our materials inadequate,
+the public recognition of our services quite out of proportion to our
+labours, there is now no permanent place for the charlatan or the forger.&nbsp;
+The first would do better as an art critic for the daily papers; the
+other might turn his attention to the simple necessary cheque, or the
+safer and more enticing Bank of England <!-- page 16--><a name="page16"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 16</span>note.&nbsp;
+If you are an honest expert, there is a wide field for your talents;
+and if I do not believe you to be anything of the kind, you have yourself
+to blame for my scepticism.&nbsp; You came here without an introduction,
+without any warning of your arrival.&nbsp; You refuse to leave my room.&nbsp;
+You inform me that you want money with a candour unusual among beggars.&nbsp;
+You then ask me to inspect a forged manuscript which you either know
+or suspect me to have seen before.&nbsp; Should you have no explanation
+to offer for this outrageous intrusion, may I ask you to leave the premises
+immediately?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>As he finished this somewhat pompous harangue he pointed menacingly
+towards the door.&nbsp; He was slightly nervous, for Carrel, who was
+sitting down, remained seated, his hands folded, gazing up with an insolent
+childish stare.&nbsp; He might have been listening to an eloquent preacher
+whom he thoroughly despised.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Professor Lachsyrma,&rsquo; Carrel said in a sweet winning
+voice, &lsquo;I will go away if you like now, but I have nearly finished
+my errand and we may as well dispatch an affair tiresome <!-- page 17--><a name="page17"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 17</span>to
+both of us, this evening, instead of postponing it.&nbsp; I want you
+to give me 1000<i>l</i>.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The Professor rubbed his eyes.&nbsp; Was he dreaming?&nbsp; Was this
+some elaborate practical joke?&nbsp; Was it the confidence trick?&nbsp;
+He seemed to lose his self-possession, gaped on Carrel for some seconds,
+then controlled himself.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;And why should I give you 1000<i>l</i>.?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I am a blackmailer.&nbsp; I am a forger of manuscripts.&nbsp;
+I have more Greek in my little finger than you have in your long body.&nbsp;
+I began to tell you my history.&nbsp; I thought it might interest you.&nbsp;
+I do not propose to burden you with it any further.&nbsp; To-night I
+ask you for 1000<i>l</i>., to-morrow I shall ask you for 2000<i>l</i>.,
+and the day after&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;The Sibyl was scarcely so extortionate when she offered the
+Tarquin literary wares that no subsequent research with which I am acquainted
+has proved to be spurious.&nbsp; And you, Mr. Carrel, offer me forgeries&mdash;merely
+forgeries.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Fear expressed itself in clumsy satire.&nbsp; He was thoroughly alarmed.&nbsp;
+He began rapidly to review his own antecedents, and to scrape <!-- page 18--><a name="page18"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 18</span>his
+memory for discreditable incidents.&nbsp; He could think of nothing
+he need feel ashamed of, nothing the world might not thoroughly investigate.&nbsp;
+There were mean actions, but many generous ones to balance in the scale.</p>
+<p>His knowledge of life was really slight, as his intimacy with Arch&aelig;ology
+(so he told himself) was profound.&nbsp; One foolish incident, a midsummer
+madness, before he went to Oxford, was all he had to blush for.&nbsp;
+This, he frequently confessed, not without certain pride, to his wife,
+the daughter of a respectable man of letters from Massachusetts.&nbsp;
+He firmly and privately believed an omission in a catalogue a far greater
+sin than a breach of the Decalogue.&nbsp; But ethics are of little consequence
+where conduct is above reproach.&nbsp; When buying antiquities he would
+come across odd people from time to time, but never any one who openly
+avowed himself a blackmailer and a forger.&nbsp; The novel experience
+was embarrassing and unpleasant, but there was really little to fear.&nbsp;
+In all the delight of a clear conscience, since Carrel vouchsafed no
+reply to his sardonic Sibylline allusion, he said:</p>
+<p><!-- page 19--><a name="page19"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 19</span>&lsquo;You
+have advanced no reason why I should hand you to-day or to-morrow these
+modest sums you demand.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Then I will tell you,&rsquo; said Carrel, standing up suddenly.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;I fabricated the poems of Sappho,&mdash;yes, the manuscript from
+which <i>you</i> are reaping so much credit&rsquo;&mdash;he took up
+the newspaper&mdash;&lsquo;from the morning press.&nbsp; When I take
+to art criticism, as you kindly suggested a dishonest man might do,
+it will be of a livelier description than any to which you are usually
+accustomed.&nbsp; Vain dupe, you think yourself impeccable.&nbsp; Infallible
+ass, there is hardly a museum in Europe where my manuscripts are not
+carefully preserved for the greatest and rarest treasures by senile
+curators, too ignorant to know their errors or too vain to acknowledge
+them.&nbsp; I fancied you clever; until now I do not know that I ever
+caught you out, though you may have bought many of my wares for all
+I know.&nbsp; I find you, however, like the rest&mdash;dull, pedantic,
+and Pecksniffian.&nbsp; At Cambridge we were not taught pretty manners,
+but we knew enough not to give fellowships to pretentious charlatans
+like yourself.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 20--><a name="page20"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 20</span>The
+room swam round Professor Lachsyrma, and the mummy behind the door grinned.&nbsp;
+The plaster casts and the statues seemed to wave their mutilated limbs
+with the joy of demoniacal possession.&nbsp; Dead things were startled
+into life.&nbsp; Sick giddiness permeated his brain.&nbsp; It was some
+horrible nightmare.&nbsp; Yet his soul&rsquo;s tempest was entirely
+subjective; outwardly his demeanour suffered no change.&nbsp; His tormentor
+noted with astonishment and admiration his apparent self-control.&nbsp;
+There was merely a slight falter in his speech.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;What proofs have you?&nbsp; A blackmailer must have some token&mdash;something
+on which to base a ridiculous libel.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;A few minutes ago I handed you a spurious papyrus, which you
+tell me you recognise.&nbsp; In the same lot of rubbish, purporting
+to come from the Fayy&ucirc;m, were the alleged poems of Sappho.&nbsp;
+You swallowed the bait which has waited for you so long, and, if it
+is any consolation to you, I will admit that in the opinion of the profession,
+to continue my piscatorial simile, I have landed the largest salmon.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I am deeply sensible of the compliment, but I must point out
+to you, my friend, that <!-- page 21--><a name="page21"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 21</span>your
+coming to tell me that a papyrus I happen to have purchased from one
+of your shady friends is counterfeit, does not necessarily prove it
+to be so.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The Professor realised that he must act cautiously, and consider
+his position quietly.&nbsp; Each word must be charged with suppressed
+meaning.&nbsp; His eyes wandered over the room, resting now and again
+on the majestic, impassive smile of the mummy.&nbsp; It seemed to restore
+his nerve.&nbsp; He found himself unconsciously looking towards it over
+Carrel&rsquo;s head each time he spoke.&nbsp; While the blackmailer,
+seated once more, gazed up to his face with a defiant, insolent stare,
+swinging his chair backwards and forwards, unconcerned at the length
+of the interview, apparently careless of its issue.&nbsp; The Professor
+brooded on the terrible chagrin, the wounded vanity of discovering himself
+the victim of an obviously long-contrived hoax.&nbsp; At his asking
+for a proof, Carrel laughed.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;You are sceptical at last,&rsquo; he sneered.&nbsp; &lsquo;I
+have the missing portions of the papyrus here with me.&nbsp; You can
+have them for a song.&nbsp; I was afraid to leave the roll too complete,
+lest I <!-- page 22--><a name="page22"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 22</span>should
+invite detection.&nbsp; It would be a pity to let them go to some other
+museum.&nbsp; Berlin is longing for a new acquisition.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Then he produced from his bag damning evidence of the truth of his
+story&mdash;deftly confected sheets of papyrus, brown with the months
+it had taken to fabricate them, and cracked with forger&rsquo;s inks
+and acids&mdash;ghastly replicas of the former purchase.&nbsp; Nervously
+the Professor replaced the green cardboard shade over the lamp, as though
+the glare affected his eyes.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;But how do you know I have not discovered the forgery already?&rsquo;
+he said, craftily.&nbsp; Carrel started.&nbsp; &lsquo;And see what I
+am sending to the press this evening,&rsquo; he added.</p>
+<p>Walking to the end of the table, he picked up a sheet of paper where
+there was writing, and another object which Carrel could not see in
+the gloom, so quickly and adroitly was the action accomplished.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Shall I read it to you, or will you read it yourself?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>He advanced again towards the lamp, held the paper in the light,
+and beckoned to Carrel, who leant over the table to see what was written.&nbsp;
+<!-- page 23--><a name="page23"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 23</span>Then
+Professor Lachsyrma plunged a long Greek knife into his back.&nbsp;
+A toreador could hardly have done it more skilfully; the bull was pinned
+through the heart, and expired instantaneously.</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>Now he paced the room in deep thought.&nbsp; For the first time he
+found himself an actor in modern life, which hitherto for him meant
+digging among excavations, or making romantic restoration for jaded
+connoisseurs, of some faultless work of art described by Pausanias and
+hidden for centuries beneath the rubbish of modern Greece.&nbsp; The
+entire absence of horror appalled him.&nbsp; Even the dignity of tragedy
+was not there.&nbsp; He was wrestling with hideous melodrama, often
+described to him by patrons of Thespian art at transpontine theatres.&nbsp;
+The vulgarity&mdash;the anachronism&mdash;made him shudder.&nbsp; Having
+till now ignored the issue of the present, he began to be sceptical
+about the virtues of antiquity.&nbsp; Antiquity, his only religion,
+his god, whose mangled incompleteness endeared it to him, was crumbling
+away.&nbsp; He wondered if there were friends with whom he might share
+his <!-- page 24--><a name="page24"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 24</span>ugly
+secret.&nbsp; There was young Fairleigh, who was always so modern, and
+actually read modern books.&nbsp; He might have coped with the blackmailer
+alive, but hardly with his corpse.&nbsp; You cannot run round and ask
+neighbours for coffins, false beards, and rope in the delightful convention
+of the <i>Arabian Nights</i>, because you have grazed modern life at
+a sharp angle, without exciting suspicion or running the risk of positive
+refusal.&nbsp; There was his wife, to whom he confided everything; but
+she was a lady from Massachusetts, and her father was European correspondent
+to many American papers of the highest repute.&nbsp; How could their
+pure ears be soiled with so sordid a confidence?&nbsp; Poor Irene! she
+was to have an &lsquo;At Home&rsquo; the following afternoon.&nbsp;
+It would have to be postponed.&nbsp; Professor Lachsyrma fell to thinking
+of such trivial matters, contemptible in their unimportance, as we do
+at the terrible moments of our lives.&nbsp; He wondered if they would
+wait dinner for him.&nbsp; He often remained at his club&mdash;the Serapeum&mdash;to
+finish a discussion with some erudite antagonist.&nbsp; His absence
+would therefore cause no alarm.&nbsp; He consulted the little <!-- page 25--><a name="page25"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 25</span>American
+clock; it had stopped.&nbsp; How like America!&nbsp; The only recorded
+instance, he would explain to Irene, of an export from that country
+being required&mdash;the commodity proved inadequate.&nbsp; No, that
+would make Irene cry. . . . The folly of hopeless, futile thoughts jingled
+on.&nbsp; Suddenly he heard the cry of a belated newsvendor, howling
+some British victory, some horrible scandal in Paris.&nbsp; Scandal,
+exposure, publicity&mdash;<i>there</i> was the horror.&nbsp; He could
+almost hear the journalists stropping their pens.&nbsp; If his thoughts
+drifted towards any potential expiation demanded by officialism, he
+put them aside.&nbsp; A social <i>d&eacute;b&acirc;cle</i> was more
+fearful and vivid than the dock and its inevitable consequence. . .
+. Presently his eyes rested again on the mummy case.&nbsp; A brilliant
+inspiration!&nbsp; Here, at all events, was a temporary hiding-place
+for the corpse of the blackmailer.&nbsp; If it was putting new wine
+into old bottles, circumstances surely justified a violation of the
+proverb.&nbsp; Till now a severe unromantic Hellenist, he held Egyptology
+in some contempt; and for Egypt, except in so far as it illustrated
+the art of Greece or remained a treasure-house for Greek manuscripts,
+<!-- page 26--><a name="page26"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 26</span>his
+distaste was only surpassed by that of the Prophet Isaiah.&nbsp; A bias
+so striking in the immortal Herodotus is hardly shared by your modern
+encyclop&aelig;dist.&nbsp; While the science of Egyptology and its adepts
+command rather awe and wonder than sympathy from the uninitiated, who
+keep their praises for the more attractive study of Greek art.&nbsp;
+Yet some of us still turn with relief from the serene material masterpieces
+of Greece, soulless in their very realism and truth of expression, to
+the vague and happily unexplained monsters, the rigid gods and hieratic
+princes, who are given new names by each succeeding generation.&nbsp;
+A knowledge that behind painted masks and gilded, tawdry gew-gaws are
+the remains of a once living person gives even the mummy a human interest
+denied to the most exquisite handiwork of Pheidias.</p>
+<p>Professor Lachsyrma at present felt only the impossibility of a situation
+that would have been difficult for many a weaker man to face.&nbsp;
+Humiliation overwhelms the strongest.&nbsp; Modern agencies for the
+concealment of a body having failed to suggest themselves, he must needs
+fall back on the despised expedient <!-- page 27--><a name="page27"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 27</span>of
+Egypt.&nbsp; Pal&aelig;ography and Greek art were obviously useless
+in the present instance.&nbsp; He understood at last why deplorable
+people wanted to abolish Greek from the University curriculum.</p>
+<p>The coffin was of varnished sycamore wood, ornamented on the outside
+with gods in their shrines and inscriptions relating to the name and
+titles of the deceased, painted in red and green.&nbsp; The face was
+carved out of a separate piece of wood, with the conventional beard
+attached to the chin; the eyelids were of bronze; the eyes of obsidian;
+wooden hands were crossed on the breast.&nbsp; Inside the lid were pictures
+of apes in yellow on a purple background, symbolising the Spirits of
+the East adoring the Gods of the Morning and Evening.&nbsp; The mummy
+itself was enclosed in a handsome cartonnage case laced up the back.&nbsp;
+The Professor lifted it gently out on the table, and substituted Carrel&rsquo;s
+body.&nbsp; He staunched as he best could the blood which trickled on
+to the glaring pictures of the Judgment of Osiris and the goddess Nut
+imparting the Waters of Life; then he turned to examine the former occupant,
+whom two thousand years, even at such <!-- page 28--><a name="page28"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 28</span>a
+moment endowed with a greater interest than could attach to the corpse
+of a defunct blackmailer.&nbsp; It now occurred to him that he might
+profitably utilise the mummy cerements along with the coffin for more
+effectually concealing Carrel&rsquo;s body until he could arrange for
+its final disposal.&nbsp; He hastened to carry his idea into effect.</p>
+<p>The cartonnage case, composed of waste papyrus fragments glued together,
+was painted with figures of deities.&nbsp; The face was a gilded mask,
+on the headdress were lotus flowers, and the collar was studded to imitate
+precious stones.&nbsp; Over the breast were representations of Horus,
+Apis, and Thoth, and lower down the dead man was seen on his bier attended
+by Anubis and the children of Horus, while the soul in the form of a
+hawk hovered above.&nbsp; The Professor observed that an earlier method
+had been employed for the preservation and protection of the body than
+is usually found among Ptolemaic mummies.</p>
+<p>Beneath a network of blue porcelain bugles and a row of sepulchral
+gods suspended by a wire to the neck was a dusky, red-hued sheet, sewn
+at the head and feet and fastened with <!-- page 29--><a name="page29"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 29</span>brown
+strips of linen.&nbsp; Under this last shroud were the bandages which
+swathed the actual corpse, inscribed with passages from the Book of
+the Dead, the mysterious fantastic directions for the life hereafter.&nbsp;
+The symbolism requisite for the external decoration of the mummy had
+been scrupulously executed by skilful artists, and the conscientious
+method of wrapping again indicated the pristine mode of embalmment practised
+when the craft was at its zenith, long before the Greek conquest of
+Egypt.</p>
+<p>A considerable time was occupied in unrolling the three or four hundred
+yards of linen.&nbsp; Meanwhile a strange fragrance of myrrh, cassia,
+cinnamon, the sweet spices and aromatic unguents used in embalming,
+filled the room.&nbsp; Gradually the yellow skin preserved by the natron
+began to appear through the cross-hatchings of the bandages.&nbsp; Attached
+to a thick gold wire round the neck and placed over the heart was a
+scarab of green basalt, mounted in a gold setting; and on the henna-stained
+little finger of the left hand was another of steatite.&nbsp; As the
+right arm was freed from its artificially tightened grasp a peculiar
+wooden cylinder rolled on to the floor <!-- page 30--><a name="page30"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 30</span>into
+the heap of scented mummy dust and bandages.</p>
+<p>Languidly inquisitive, Professor Lachsyrma groped for it.&nbsp; Such
+objects are generally found beneath the head.&nbsp; There was a seal
+at each end, both of which he broke.&nbsp; A roll of papyrus was inside.&nbsp;
+He trembled, and with forced deliberation made for the table, his knees
+tottering from exhaustion.&nbsp; Excitement at this unexpected discovery
+made him forget Carrel.&nbsp; The ghastly events of the evening were
+for the moment blotted from his memory.&nbsp; After all, he was a pal&aelig;ographer&mdash;an
+arch&aelig;ologist first, a murderer afterwards.&nbsp; Eagerly, painfully,
+he began to read, adjusting his spectacles from time to time, the muscles
+of his face twitching with anxiety and expectation.&nbsp; For a long
+time the words were strange to him.&nbsp; Suddenly his glasses became
+dim.&nbsp; There were tears in his eyes; he was reading aloud, unconsciously
+to himself, the beautiful verses familiar to all students of Greek poetry:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>&Omicron;&iota;&omicron;&nu; &tau;&omicron; &gamma;&lambda;&upsilon;&kappa;&upsilon;&mu;&alpha;&lambda;&omicron;&nu;
+&epsilon;&rho;&epsilon;&upsilon;&theta;&epsilon;&tau;&alpha;&iota; &alpha;&kappa;&rho;&omega;
+&epsilon;&pi;&rsquo; &upsilon;&sigma;&delta;&omega;<br />
+&alpha;&kappa;&rho;&omicron;&nu; &epsilon;&pi; &alpha;&kappa;&rho;&omicron;&tau;&alpha;&tau;&omega;&rsquo;
+&lambda;&epsilon;&lambda;&alpha;&theta;&omicron;&nu;&tau;&omicron; &delta;&epsilon;
+&mu;&alpha;&lambda;&omicron;&delta;&rho;&omicron;&pi;&eta;&epsilon;&sigmaf;,<br />
+&omicron;&upsilon; &mu;&alpha;&nu; &epsilon;&kappa;&lambda;&epsilon;&lambda;&alpha;&theta;&omicron;&nu;&tau;&rsquo;,
+&alpha;&lambda;&lambda;&rsquo; &omicron;&upsilon;&kappa; &epsilon;&delta;&upsilon;&nu;&alpha;&nu;&tau;&rsquo;
+&epsilon;&phi;&iota;&kappa;&epsilon;&sigma;&theta;&alpha;&iota;&mdash;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p><!-- page 31--><a name="page31"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 31</span>and
+to students of English, in the marvellous, rendering of them by the
+late Mr. Rossetti:</p>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;Like the sweet apple which reddens upon the topmost
+bough,<br />
+A-top on the topmost twig,&mdash;which the pluckers forgot, somehow,&mdash;<br />
+Forgot it not, nay, but got it not, for none could get it till now.&rsquo;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>The papyrus was of great length, and contained the poems of Sappho
+in a cursive literary handwriting of the third century&mdash;the real
+poems, lost to the world for over eight hundred years.&nbsp; It was
+morning now&mdash;a London spring morning; dawn was creeping through
+the great north-east light of the studio; birds were twittering outside.&nbsp;
+The murderer sobbed hysterically.</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>On referring to &lsquo;Euterpe,&rsquo; the second book of the Histories
+of Herodotus, Professor Lachsyrma selected the second method of embalming
+as less troublesome and more expeditious.&nbsp; The whole matter lasted
+little longer than the seventy prescribed days.&nbsp; At the end of
+which time he was able, in accordance with his original intention, to
+deposit <!-- page 32--><a name="page32"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 32</span>in
+a handsome glass case at the British Museum the Mummy of Heliodorus,
+a Greek settler in Egypt who held some official appointment at the Court
+of Ptolemy Philadelphus.&nbsp; It is described in the catalogue as one
+of the best examples of its kind in Europe.&nbsp; Indeed, it is probably
+unique.</p>
+<p>Professor Lachsyrma often pauses before the case when visiting our
+gaunt House of Art.&nbsp; Even the policeman on duty has noticed this
+peculiarity, and smiles respectfully.&nbsp; The Professor has ceased
+to ridicule Egyptology; and his confidence in the resources and sufficiency
+of antiquity, so rudely shaken for one long evening, is completely re-established.</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">S. S. Sprigge</span>, <span class="smcap">Esq.</span>,
+M.D.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 33--><a name="page33"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 33</span>THE
+BRAND OF ISIS.</h2>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;Videant irreligiosi videant et errorem suum recognoscant.&nbsp;
+En ecce pristinis aerumnis absolutus, Isidis magnae providentia gaudens
+Lucius de sua fortuna triumphat.&rsquo;&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Apuleius</span>.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Her image comes into the gloom<br />
+With her pale features moulded fair,<br />
+Her breathing beauty, morning bloom,<br />
+My heart&rsquo;s delight, my tongue&rsquo;s despair.&rsquo;&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Binyon</span>.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;An Oxford scholar of family and fortune; but quaint and opinionated,
+despising every one who has not had the benefit of an University education.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+<span class="smcap">Richardson</span>.</p>
+<p>&Tau;&rho;&omicron;&pi;&phi; &delta;&epsilon; &zeta;&omicron;&eta;&sigmaf;
+&tau;&omicron;&iota;&phi;&delta;&epsilon; &delta;&iota;&alpha;&chi;&rho;&epsilon;&omega;&nu;&tau;&alpha;&iota;,
+&pi;&alpha;&tau;&rho;&iota;&omicron;&sigma;&iota; &delta;&epsilon; &chi;&rho;&epsilon;&omega;&mu;&epsilon;&nu;&omicron;&iota;
+&nu;&omicron;&mu;&omicron;&iota;&sigma;&iota; &alpha;&lambda;&lambda;&omicron;&nu;
+&omicron;&upsilon;&delta;&epsilon;&nu;&alpha; &epsilon;&pi;&iota;&kappa;&tau;&epsilon;&omega;&nu;&tau;&alpha;&iota;.&nbsp;
+<span class="smcap">Herodotus</span>.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I once had the good fortune to take down to dinner a young American
+lady of some personal attractions.&nbsp; Her vivacity and shrewdness
+were racial; her charm peculiar to herself.&nbsp; Her conversation consisted
+in a rather fierce denunciation of Englishmen, young Oxford Englishmen
+in particular.&nbsp; Their thoughts, their dress, their speech, their
+airs of superiority offended one brought up with that Batavian type
+of humanity, the American youth, to whom we have nothing exactly corresponding
+in this country except among drawing-room conjurors.&nbsp; But I was
+startled at her keen observation when I inquired with a smile <!-- page 34--><a name="page34"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 34</span>how
+she knew I was not an Oxford man myself.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Had you been one, you would never have listened to what I
+have been saying,&rsquo; she retorted.&nbsp; Rather nettled, I challenged
+her to pick out from the other guests those on whom she detected the
+brand of Isis.&nbsp; A pair of gloves was the prize for each successful
+guess.&nbsp; She won seven; in fact all the stakes during the course
+of the evening.&nbsp; Over one only she hesitated, and when he mentioned
+that he had neither the curiosity nor the energy to cross the Atlantic,
+she knew he came from Oxford.</p>
+<p>Yes, there is something in that manner after all.&nbsp; It irritates
+others besides Americans.&nbsp; Novelists try to describe it.&nbsp;
+We all know the hero who talks English with a Balliol accent&mdash;that
+great creature who is sometimes bow and sometimes cox of his boat on
+alternate evenings; who puts the weight at the University Sports and
+conducts the lady home from a College wine without a stain on her character;
+is rusticated for a year or so; returns to win the Newdigate and leaves
+without taking a degree.&nbsp; Or that other delightful abstraction&mdash;he
+has a Balliol <!-- page 35--><a name="page35"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 35</span>accent
+too&mdash;with literary tastes and artistic rooms, where gambling takes
+place.&nbsp; He is invariably a coward, but dreadfully fascinating all
+the same; though he scorns women he has an hypnotic influence over them;
+something in his polished Oxford manner is irresistible.&nbsp; Throughout
+a career of crime his wonderful execution on the piano, his knowledge
+of Italian painting, and his Oxford manner never seem to desert him.&nbsp;
+We feel, not for the first time, how dangerous it must be to allow our
+simple perky unspoiled Colonials to associate with such deleterious
+exotic beings, who, though in fiction horsewhipped or (if heroes) shot
+in the last chapter, in real life are so apt to become prosperous city
+men or respected college officials.</p>
+<p>The Oxford manner is, alas, indefinable; I was going to say indefensible.&nbsp;
+Perhaps it is an attitude&mdash;a mental attitude that finds physical
+expression in the voice, the gesture, the behaviour.&nbsp; Oxford, not
+conduct, is three-fourths of life to those who acquire the distemper.&nbsp;
+Without becoming personal it is not easy to discuss purely social aspects,
+and we must seek chiefly in literature for <!-- page 36--><a name="page36"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 36</span>manifestations
+of the phenomenon: in the prose of Matthew Arnold for instance&mdash;in
+the poems of Mr. Laurence Binyon, typical examples where every thought
+seems a mental reservation.&nbsp; Enemies rail at the voice, and the
+voice counts for something.&nbsp; Any one having the privilege of hearing
+Mr. Andrew Lang speak in public will know at once what I mean&mdash;a
+pleasure, let me hasten to say, only equalled by the enjoyment of his
+inimitable writing, so pre-eminently Oxonian when the subject is not
+St. Andrews, Folk Lore, or cricket.&nbsp; Though Oxford men have their
+Cambridge moments, and beneath their haughty exterior there sometimes
+beats a Cambridge heart.&nbsp; Behind such reserve you would never suspect
+any passions at all save one of pride.&nbsp; Even frankly irreligious
+Oxford men acquire an ecclesiastical pre-Reformation aloofness which
+must have piqued Thackeray quite as much as the refusal of the city
+to send him to Westminster.&nbsp; He complains somewhere that the undergraduates
+wear kid gloves and drink less wine than their jolly brethren of the
+Cam.&nbsp; He was thoroughly Cambridge in his attitude towards life,
+as you <!-- page 37--><a name="page37"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 37</span>may
+see when he writes of his favourite eighteenth century in his own fascinating
+style.&nbsp; How angry he becomes with the vices and corruption of a
+dead past!&nbsp; Now no Oxford essayist would dream of being angry with
+the past.&nbsp; How annoyed the sentimental author of <i>The Four Georges</i>
+would be with Mr. Street&rsquo;s genial treatment of the same epoch!&nbsp;
+It would, however, be the annoyance of a father for his eldest son,
+whom he sent to Oxford perhaps to show that an old slight was forgiven
+and forgotten.</p>
+<p>There have been, of course, plenty of men unravaged by the blithe
+contagion.&nbsp; Mr. Gladstone intellectually always seemed to me a
+Cambridge man in his energy, his enthusiasm, his political outlook.&nbsp;
+Only in his High Church proclivities is he suspect.&nbsp; The poet Shelley
+was an obvious Cantab.&nbsp; He was, we are told, a man of high moral
+character.&nbsp; Well, principles and human weakness are common to all
+Universities, and others besides Shelley have deserted their wives:
+but to desert your wife on principle seems to me callous, calculating,
+and Cambridge-like.</p>
+<p>A painful but interesting case came under <!-- page 38--><a name="page38"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 38</span>my
+personal observation, and it illustrates the other side of the question.&nbsp;
+A clever young graduate of my acquaintance, after four years of distinguished
+scholarship at Oxford, came up to the metropolis and entered the dangerous
+lists of literature.&nbsp; It is not indiscreet if I say that he belonged
+to what was quite a brilliant little period&mdash;the days of Mr. Eric
+Parker, Mr. Max Beerbohm, and Mr. Reginald Turner.&nbsp; So there was
+nothing surprising in his literary tastes, though I believe he was unknown
+to those masters of prose.&nbsp; He was tall, good-looking, and prepossessing,
+but his Oxford manner was unusually pronounced.&nbsp; He never expressed
+disgust&mdash;no Oxford man does&mdash;only pained surprise at what
+displeased him; he never censured the morals or manners of people as
+a Cambridge man might have done.&nbsp; Out of the University pulpit
+no Oxford man would dream of scolding people for their morals.&nbsp;
+After a year of failure he fell into a decline.&nbsp; His parents became
+alarmed.&nbsp; They hinted that his ill success was due to his damned
+condescension (the father was of course a Cambridge man).&nbsp; I too
+suggested in a mild <!-- page 39--><a name="page39"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 39</span>way
+that a more ingratiating manner might produce better luck with editors.&nbsp;
+At last his health broke down, and a wise family physician was called
+in.&nbsp; After studying the case for some months, Aesculapius (he was
+M.B. of Cambridge) divined that ill success rather than ill health was
+the provocative; and he related to the patient (this is becoming like
+an Arabian Night) the following story:</p>
+<p>&lsquo;A certain self-made man, confiding to a friend plans for his
+son&rsquo;s education, remarked: &ldquo;Of course I shall send him to
+Eton.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Why Eton?&rdquo; said the friend.&nbsp; &ldquo;Because
+he is to be a barrister, and if he did not go to Eton no one would speak
+to him if they knew his poor old father was a self-made man.&nbsp; Then
+he will go to Cambridge.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Why not Oxford?&rdquo;
+said the friend, who was a self-made Oxford tradesman.&nbsp; &ldquo;Because
+then he would never speak to me,&rdquo; replied the first self-made
+man.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>My friend from that moment recovered.&nbsp; He became more tolerant;
+he became successful.&nbsp; He became a distinguished dramatist.&nbsp;
+He justified his early promise.</p>
+<p>There is in this little story perhaps a charge <!-- page 40--><a name="page40"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 40</span>of
+snobbishness from which Oxford men are really entirely free.&nbsp; They
+are too conscious of their own superiority to be tuft-hunters, and I
+believe miss some of the prizes of life by their indifference towards
+those who have already &lsquo;arrived.&rsquo;&nbsp; Yet they appear
+snobbish to others who have not had the benefit of a University education,
+and in this little essay I endeavour to hold up the mirror to their
+ill-nature&mdash;the fault to which I am unduly attached.&nbsp; Writers
+besides Richardson have referred to it.&nbsp; I might quote many eloquent
+tributes from Dryden to Wordsworth and Byron, all Cambridge men, who
+have felt the charm and acknowledged a weakness for the step-sister
+University.&nbsp; Cambridge has never been fortunate in having the compliment
+reciprocated.&nbsp; Neither Oxford men nor her own sons have been over-generous
+in her praises: you remember Ruskin on King&rsquo;s Chapel.&nbsp; And
+I, the obscurest of her children, who cast this laurel on the Isis,
+will content myself with admitting that I sincerely believe you can
+obtain a cheaper and better education at Cambridge, though it has always
+been my ambition to be mistaken for an Oxford man.</p>
+<p><!-- page 41--><a name="page41"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 41</span>I
+often wonder whether Mr. Cecil Rhodes, while he had the English Government
+in one pocket, the English Press in the other, and South Africa in the
+hollow of his hand, felt a certain impotency before Oxford.&nbsp; He
+had to acknowledge its influence over himself&mdash;an influence stronger
+than Dr. Jameson or the Afrikander Bond.&nbsp; He was never quite sure
+whether he admired more the loneliness of the Matoppos or the rather
+over-crowded diamond mines of Kimberley.&nbsp; On the grey veld he used
+to read <i>Marius the Epicurean</i>, and sought in Mr. Pater the key
+to the mystery he was unable to solve.&nbsp; He turned to the Thirty-nine
+Articles (more tampered with at Oxford than in any other cathedral city)
+with the same want of success.&nbsp; That always seems to me a real
+touch of Oxford in what some one well said, was an &lsquo;ugly life.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+What a wonderful subject for the brush of a Royal Academician! no ordinary
+artist could ever do it justice: the great South African statesman on
+the lonely rocks where he had chosen his tomb; a book has fallen from
+his hand (Mr. Pater&rsquo;s no doubt); his eyes are gazing from canvas
+into the future he has peopled with his <!-- page 42--><a name="page42"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 42</span>dreams.&nbsp;
+By some clever device of art or nature the clouds in the sky have shaped
+themselves into Magdalen Tower&mdash;into harmony with his thoughts,
+and the setting sun makes a mandorla behind him.&nbsp; He is thinking
+of Oxford, and round his head <i>Oriel</i> clings as in &lsquo;The Blessed
+Damozel.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>He could terrorise the Colonial Secretary, he could foment a war
+and add a new empire to England; he could not overcome his love of Oxford,
+the antithesis of all sordid financial intrigue and political marauding.&nbsp;
+Athens was after all a dearer name than Groot-Schuurr.&nbsp; He set
+fire to both.</p>
+<p>I speculate sometimes whether the University was aware of his testamentary
+dispositions before it conferred on him an honorary degree.&nbsp; I
+hope not.&nbsp; He deserved it as the greatest son of Oxford, the greatest
+Englishman of his time.&nbsp; Imre Kiralfy, who has done for a whole
+district of London what Mr. Rhodes tried to do for the empire, is but
+an <i>impresario</i> beside him.&nbsp; A French critic says we cannot
+admire greatness in England; and this was shown by the timid way a large
+number of Imperialists, while professing to <!-- page 43--><a name="page43"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 43</span>believe
+the war a righteous one, thought they would seem independent if they
+disclaimed approval of Mr. Rhodes, by not having the pluck to admit
+the same motives though ready enough to share the plunder.&nbsp; You
+may compare the ungrateful half-unfriendly obituaries in the press with
+the leaders a few days later, after the will was opened.</p>
+<p>But what immediately concerns us here is the intention of Mr. Rhodes.&nbsp;
+Was it entirely benevolence, or some wish to test the strength of Oxford&mdash;to
+bring undergraduates into contact with something coarser, some terrific
+impermeable force that would be manner-proof against Oxford?&nbsp; Would
+he conquer from the grave?&nbsp; Several Americans have been known to
+go through the University retaining the Massachusetts <i>patina</i>.&nbsp;
+What if a number of these savages were grafted on Oxford?&nbsp; How
+would they alter the tone?&nbsp; We shall see.&nbsp; It will be an interesting
+struggle.&nbsp; Shall we hear of six-shooters in the High?&mdash;of
+hominy and flannel cake for breakfast?&mdash;will undergrads look &lsquo;spry?&rsquo;&mdash;will
+they &lsquo;voice&rsquo; public opinion? . . . I forbear: my American
+vocabulary is limited.&nbsp; <i>Outre</i> <!-- page 44--><a name="page44"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 44</span><i>mer,
+outr&eacute;s m&oelig;urs</i>, as Mr. Walkley might say in some guarded
+allusion to Paul Bourget. . . . I shall be sorry to see poker take the
+place of roulette, and the Christ Church meadows turned into a ranch
+for priggish cowboys, or Addison&rsquo;s Walk re-named the Cake Walk.&nbsp;
+But no, I believe Mr. Rhodes, if there was just a touch of malice in
+his testament, realised that Oxford manners were stronger than the American
+want of them.&nbsp; Oxford may be wounded, but I have complete confidence
+in the issue.&nbsp; These B&oelig;otian invaders must succumb, as nobler
+stock before them.&nbsp; They will form an interesting subject for some
+exquisite study by Mr. Henry James, who will deal with their gradual
+civilisation.&nbsp; Preserved in the amber of his art they will become
+immortal.</p>
+<p>I have been able to clip only the fringe of a great theme.&nbsp;
+Athletes require an essay to themselves.&nbsp; In later age they seem
+to me more melancholy than their Cambridge peers and less successful.&nbsp;
+These splendid creatures are really works of art, and form our only
+substitute for sculpture in the absence of any native plastic talent.&nbsp;
+From the collector&rsquo;s <!-- page 45--><a name="page45"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 45</span>point
+of view they belong to the best period, while the graceful convention
+of isocephaly, which has raised the standard of height, renders them
+inapt for the &lsquo;battles&rsquo; of life, however well equipped for
+those of their College where the cuisine is at all tolerable.</p>
+<p>I am not enough of an antiquary to conjecture if there was ever a
+temple to Isis during the Roman occupation of Britain on the site of
+the now illustrious University.&nbsp; But I like to imagine that there
+existed a cultus of the venerable goddess in the green fields where
+the purple fritillaries, so reminiscent of the lotus, blossom in the
+early spring.&nbsp; In the curious formal pattern of their petals I
+see a symbol of the Oxford manner&mdash;something archaic, rigid, severe.&nbsp;
+The Oxford Don may well be a reversion to some earlier type, learned,
+mystic, and romantic as those priests of whom Herodotus has given us
+so vivid a picture.&nbsp; The worship of Apis, as Mr. Frazer or Mr.
+Lang would tell us, becomes then merely the hieroglyph for a social
+standard, a manner of life.&nbsp; This, I think, will explain the name
+Oxford on the Isis&mdash;the Ford of Apis, the ox-god at this one place
+able to <!-- page 46--><a name="page46"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 46</span>pass
+over the benign deity.&nbsp; You remember, too, the horrid blasphemy
+of Cambyses (his very name suggests Cambridge), and the vengeance of
+the gods.&nbsp; So be it to any sacrilegious reformer who would transmute
+either the Oxford Don or the Oxford undergraduate&mdash;the most august
+of human counsellors, the most delightful of friends.</p>
+<p>(1902.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 47--><a name="page47"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 47</span>HOW
+WE LOST THE BOOK OF JASHER.</h2>
+<p>Everyone who knows anything about art, arch&aelig;ology, or science
+has heard of the famous FitzTaylor Museum at Oxbridge.&nbsp; And even
+outsiders who care for none of these things have heard of the quarrels
+and internal dissensions that have disturbed that usual calm which ought
+to reign within the walls of a museum.&nbsp; The illustrious founder,
+to whose munificence we owe this justly famous institution, provided
+in his will for the support of four curators, who govern the two separate
+departments of science and art.&nbsp; The University has been in the
+habit of making grants of money from time to time to these separate
+departments for the acquisition of scientific or arch&aelig;ological
+curiosities and MSS.&nbsp; I suppose there was something wrong in the
+system, but whatever it may be, it led to notorious jealousies and disputes.&nbsp;
+At the time of which I write, the principal curators of the art <!-- page 48--><a name="page48"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 48</span>section
+were Professor Girdelstone and Mr. Monteagle, of Prince&rsquo;s College.&nbsp;
+I looked after the scientific welfare of the museum with Lowestoft as
+my understudy&mdash;he was practically a nonentity and an authority
+on lepidoptera.&nbsp; Now, whenever a grant was made to the left wing
+of the building, as I call it, I always used to say that science was
+being sacrificed to arch&aelig;ology.&nbsp; I mocked at the illuminated
+MSS. over which Girdelstone grew enthusiastic, and the musty theological
+folios purchased by Monteagle.&nbsp; They heaped abuse upon me, of course,
+when my turn came, and cracked many a quip on my splendid skeleton of
+the ichthyosaurus, the only known specimen from Greenland.&nbsp; At
+one time the strife broke into print, and the London press animadverted
+on our conduct.&nbsp; It became a positive scandal.&nbsp; We were advised,
+I remember, to wash our dirty linen at home, and though I have often
+wondered why the press should act as a voluntary laundress on such occasions,
+I suppose the remark is a just one.</p>
+<p>There came a day when we took the advice of the press, and from then
+until now science <!-- page 49--><a name="page49"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 49</span>and
+art have gone hand in hand at the University of Oxbridge.&nbsp; How
+the breach was healed forms the subject of the present leaf from my
+memoirs.</p>
+<p>America, it has been wisely said, is the great land of fraud.&nbsp;
+It is the Egypt of the modern world.&nbsp; From America came the spiritualists,
+from America bogus goods, and cheap ideas and pirated editions, and
+from America I have every reason to believe came Dr. Groschen.&nbsp;
+But if his ancestors came from Rhine or Jordan, that he received his
+education on the other side of the Atlantic I have no doubt.&nbsp; Why
+he came to Oxbridge I cannot say.&nbsp; He appeared quite suddenly,
+like a comet.&nbsp; He brought introductions from various parts of the
+world&mdash;from the British Embassy at Constantinople, from the British
+and German Schools of Arch&aelig;ology at Athens, from certain French
+Egyptologists at Alexandria, and a holograph letter from Archbishop
+Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis, Curator of the MSS. in the
+Monastery of St. Basil, at Mount Olympus.&nbsp; It was this last that
+endeared him, I believe, to the High Church party in Oxbridge.&nbsp;
+Dr. Groschen was already <!-- page 50--><a name="page50"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 50</span>the
+talk of the University, the lion of the hour, before I met him.&nbsp;
+There was rumour of an honorary degree before I saw him in the flesh,
+at the high table of my college, a guest of the Provost.&nbsp; If Dr.
+Groschen did not inspire me with any confidence, I cannot say that he
+excited any feeling of distrust.&nbsp; He was a small, black, commonplace-looking
+little man, very neat in his attire, without the alchemical look of
+most arch&aelig;ologists.&nbsp; Had I known then, as I know now, that
+he presented his first credentials to Professor Girdelstone, I might
+have suspected him.&nbsp; Of course, I took it for granted they were
+friends.&nbsp; When the University was ringing with praises of the generosity
+of Dr. Groschen in transferring his splendid collections of Greek inscriptions
+to the FitzTaylor Museum, I rejoiced; the next grant would be devoted
+to science, in consideration of the recently enriched galleries of the
+art and arch&aelig;ological section.&nbsp; I only pitied the fatuity
+of the authorities for being grateful.&nbsp; Dr. Groschen now wound
+himself into everybody&rsquo;s good wishes, and the University degree
+was already conferred.&nbsp; He was offered <!-- page 51--><a name="page51"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 51</span>a
+fine set of rooms in a college famous for culture.&nbsp; He became a
+well-known figure on the Q.P.&nbsp; But he was not always with us; he
+went to Greece or the East sometimes, for the purpose, it was said,
+of adding to the Groschen collection, now the glory of the FitzTaylor.</p>
+<p>It was after a rather prolonged period of absence that he wrote to
+Girdelstone privately, announcing a great discovery.&nbsp; On his return
+he was bringing home, he said, some MSS. recently unearthed by himself
+in the monastic library of St. Basil, and bought for an enormous sum
+from Sarpedon, the Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis.&nbsp; He was willing
+to sell them to &lsquo;some public institution&rsquo; for very little
+over the original price.&nbsp; Girdelstone told several of us in confidence.&nbsp;
+It was public news next day.&nbsp; Scholars grew excited.&nbsp; There
+were hints at the recovery of a lost MS., which was to &lsquo;add to
+our knowledge of the antique world and materially alter accepted views
+of the early state of Roman and Greek society.&rsquo;&nbsp; On hearing
+the news I smiled.&nbsp; &lsquo;Some institution,&rsquo; that was suspicious&mdash;MSS.&mdash;they
+meant forgery.&nbsp; <!-- page 52--><a name="page52"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 52</span>The
+new treasure was described as a palimpsest, consisting of fifty or sixty
+leaves of papyrus.&nbsp; On one side was a portion of the <i>Lost Book
+of Jasher</i>, of a date not later than the fourth century; on the other,
+in cursive characters, the too notorious work of Aulus Gellius&mdash;<i>De
+moribus Romanorum</i>, concealed under the life of a saint.</p>
+<p>But why should I go over old history?&nbsp; Every one remembers the
+excitement that the discovery caused&mdash;the leaders in the <i>Times</i>
+and the <i>Telegraph</i>, the doubts of the sceptical, the enthusiasm
+of the arch&aelig;ologists, the jealousy of the Berlin authorities,
+the offers from all the libraries of Europe, the aspersions of the British
+Museum.&nbsp; &lsquo;Why,&rsquo; asked indignant critics, &lsquo;did
+Dr. Groschen offer his MS. to the authorities at Oxbridge?&rsquo;&nbsp;
+&lsquo;Because Oxbridge had been the first to recognise his genius,&rsquo;
+was the crushing reply.&nbsp; And Professor Girdelstone said that should
+the FitzTaylor fail to acquire the MS. by any false economy on the part
+of the University authorities, the prestige of the museum would be gone.&nbsp;
+But this is all old history.&nbsp; I only remind the reader of what
+he knows already.&nbsp; <!-- page 53--><a name="page53"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 53</span>I
+began to bring all my powers, and the force of the scientific world
+in Oxbridge, to bear in opposition to the purchase of the MS.&nbsp;
+I pulled every wire I knew, and execration was heaped on me as a vandal,
+though I only said the University money should be devoted to other channels
+than the purchase of doubtful MSS.&nbsp; I was doing all this, when
+I was startled by the intelligence that Dr. Groschen had suddenly come
+to the conclusion that his find was after all only a forgery.</p>
+<p>The Book of Jasher was a Byzantine fake, and he ascribed the date
+at the very earliest to the reign of Alexis Comnenus.&nbsp; Theologians
+became fierce on the subject.&nbsp; They had seen the MS.; they knew
+it was genuine.&nbsp; And when Dr. Groschen began to have doubts on
+Aulus Gellius, suggesting it was a sixteenth-century fabrication, the
+classical world &lsquo;morally and physically rose and denounced&rsquo;
+him.&nbsp; Dr. Groschen, who had something of the early Christian in
+his character, bore this shower of opprobrium like a martyr.&nbsp; &lsquo;I
+may be mistaken,&rsquo; he said, &lsquo;but I believe I have been deceived.&nbsp;
+I have been taken in before, and I would not like the MS. <!-- page 54--><a name="page54"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 54</span>offered
+to any library before two of the very highest experts could decide as
+to its authenticity.&rsquo;&nbsp; People had long learnt to regard Dr.
+Groschen himself as quite the highest expert in the world.&nbsp; They
+thought he was out of his senses, though the press commended him for
+his honesty, and one daily journal, loudest in declaring its authenticity,
+said it was glad Dr. Groschen had detected the forgery long recognised
+by their special correspondent.&nbsp; Dr. Groschen was furthermore asked
+to what experts he would submit his MS., and by whose decision he would
+abide.&nbsp; After some delay and correspondence, he could think of
+only two&mdash;Professor Girdelstone and Monteagle.&nbsp; They possessed
+great opportunities, he said, of judging on such matters.&nbsp; Their
+erudition was of a steadier and more solid nature than his own.&nbsp;
+Then the world and Oxbridge joined again in a chorus of praise.&nbsp;
+What could be more honest, more straightforward, than submitting the
+MS. to a final examination at the hands of the two curators of the FitzTaylor,
+who were to have the first refusal of the MS. if it was considered authentic?&nbsp;
+No <!-- page 55--><a name="page55"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 55</span>museum
+was ever given such an opportunity.&nbsp; Professor Girdelstone and
+his colleague soon came to a conclusion.&nbsp; They decided that there
+could be no doubt as to the authenticity of the Aulus Gellius.&nbsp;
+In portions it was true that between the lines other characters were
+partly legible; but this threw no slur on the MS. itself.&nbsp; Of the
+commentary on the book of Jasher, it will be remembered, they gave no
+decisive opinion, and it is still an open question.&nbsp; They expressed
+their belief that the Aulus Gellius was alone worth the price asked
+by Dr. Groschen.&nbsp; It only remained now for the University to advance
+a sum to the FitzTaylor for the purchase of this treasure.&nbsp; The
+curators, rather prematurely perhaps, wrote privately to Dr. Groschen
+making him an offer for his MS., and paid him half the amount out of
+their own pockets, so as to close the bargain once and for all.</p>
+<p>The delay of the University in making the grant caused a good deal
+of apprehension in the hearts of Professor Girdelstone and Monteagle.&nbsp;
+They feared that the enormous sums offered by the Berlin Museum would
+<!-- page 56--><a name="page56"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 56</span>tempt
+even the simple-minded Dr. Groschen, though the interests of the FitzTaylor
+were so near his heart.&nbsp; These suspicions proved unfounded as they
+were ungenerous.&nbsp; The <i>savant</i> was contented with his degree
+and college rooms, and showed no hurry for the remainder of the sum
+to be paid.</p>
+<p>One night, when I was seated in my rooms beside the fire, preparing
+lectures on the ichthyosaurus, I was startled by a knock at my door.&nbsp;
+It was a hurried, jerky rap.&nbsp; I shouted, &lsquo;Come in.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+The door burst open, and on the threshold I saw Monteagle, with a white
+face, on which the beads of perspiration glittered.&nbsp; At first I
+thought it was the rain which had drenched his cap and gown, but in
+a moment I saw that the perspiration was the result of terror or anxiety
+(cf. my lectures on Mental Equilibrium).&nbsp; Monteagle and I in our
+undergraduate days had been friends; but like many University friendships,
+ours proved evanescent; our paths had lain in different directions.</p>
+<p>He had chosen arch&aelig;ology.&nbsp; We failed to convert one another
+to each other&rsquo;s views.&nbsp; When he became a member of &lsquo;The
+Disciples,&rsquo; <!-- page 57--><a name="page57"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 57</span>a
+mystic Oxbridge society, the fissure between us widened to a gulf.&nbsp;
+We nodded when we met, but that was all.&nbsp; With Girdelstone I was
+not on speaking terms.&nbsp; So when I found Monteagle on my threshold
+I confess I was startled.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;May I come in?&rsquo; he asked.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Certainly, certainly,&rsquo; I said cordially.&nbsp; &lsquo;But
+what is the matter?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Good God!&nbsp; Newall,&rsquo; he cried, &lsquo;that MS. after
+all is a forgery.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>This expression I thought unbecoming in a &lsquo;Disciple,&rsquo;
+but I only smiled and said, &lsquo;Really, you think so?&rsquo;&nbsp;
+Monteagle then made reference to our old friendship, our unfortunate
+dissensions.&nbsp; He asked for my help, and then really excited my
+pity.&nbsp; Some member of the High Church party in Oxbridge had apparently
+been to Greece to attend a Conference on the Union of the Greek and
+Anglican Churches.&nbsp; While there he met Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis,
+and in course of conversation told him of the renowned Dr. Groschen.&nbsp;
+Sarpedon became distant at mention of the Doctor&rsquo;s name.&nbsp;
+He denied all knowledge of the <!-- page 58--><a name="page58"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 58</span>famous
+letter of introduction, and said the only thing he knew of the Professor
+was, that he was usually supposed to have been the thief who had made
+off with a large chest of parchments from the monastery of St. Basil.</p>
+<p>The Greek Patriarch refused to give any further information.&nbsp;
+The English clergyman reported the incident privately to Girdelstone.</p>
+<p>Dr. Groschen&rsquo;s other letters were examined, and found to be
+fabrications.&nbsp; The Book of Jasher and Aulus Gellius were submitted
+to a like scrutiny.&nbsp; Girdelstone and Monteagle came reluctantly
+to the conclusion that they were also vulgar and palpable forgeries.&nbsp;
+At the end of his story Monteagle almost burst into tears.&nbsp; I endeavoured
+to cheer him, although I was shrieking with laughter at the whole story.</p>
+<p>Of course it was dreadful for him.&nbsp; If he exposed Dr. Groschen,
+his own reputation as an expert would be gone, and the Doctor was already
+paid half the purchase money.&nbsp; Monteagle was so agitated that it
+was with difficulty I could get his story out of him, and to this day
+I have never quite learned the truth.&nbsp; Controlling my laughter,
+I sent a note round to Professor <!-- page 59--><a name="page59"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 59</span>Girdelstone,
+asking him to come to my rooms.&nbsp; In about ten minutes he appeared,
+looking as draggled and sheepish as poor Monteagle.&nbsp; In his bosom
+he carried the fateful MS., which I now saw for the first time.&nbsp;
+If it was a forgery (and I have never been convinced) it was certainly
+a masterpiece.&nbsp; From what Girdelstone said to me, then and since,
+I think that the Aulus Gellius portion was genuine enough, and the Book
+of Jasher possibly the invention of Groschen; however, it will never
+be discovered if one or neither was genuine.&nbsp; Monteagle thought
+the ink used was a compound of tea and charcoal, but both he and Girdelstone
+were too suspicious to believe even each other by this time.</p>
+<p>I tried to console them, and promised all help in my power.&nbsp;
+They were rather startled and alarmed when I laid out my plan of campaign.&nbsp;
+In the first place, I was to withdraw all opposition to the purchase
+of the MS.&nbsp; Girdelstone and Monteagle, meanwhile, were to set about
+having the Aulus Gellius printed and facsimiled; for I thought it was
+a pity such a work should be lost to the world.&nbsp; The facsimile
+was only to be <i>announced</i>; and <!-- page 60--><a name="page60"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 60</span>publication
+by the University Press to be put in hand at once.&nbsp; The text of
+Aulus Gellius can still be obtained, and a translation of those portions
+which can be rendered into English forms a volume of Mr. Bohn&rsquo;s
+excellent classical library, which will satisfy the curious, who are
+unacquainted with Latin.&nbsp; Professor Girdelstone was to write a
+preface in very guarded terms.&nbsp; This will be familiar to all classical
+scholars.</p>
+<p>It was with great difficulty that I could persuade Girdelstone and
+Monteagle of the sincerity of my actions; but the poor fellows were
+ready to catch at any straw for hope from exposure, and they listened
+to every word I said.&nbsp; As the whole University knew I was not on
+speaking terms with Girdelstone, I told him to adopt a Nicodemus-like
+attitude, and to come to me in the night-time, when we could hold consultation.&nbsp;
+To the outer world, during these anxious evenings, when I would see
+no one, I was supposed to be preparing my great syllabus of lectures
+on the ichthyosaurus.&nbsp; I communicated to my fellow-curators my
+plans bit by bit only, for I thought it would be better for their nerves.&nbsp;
+I made Monteagle <!-- page 61--><a name="page61"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 61</span>send
+round a notice to the press:&mdash;&lsquo;That the MS. about to become
+the property of the University Museum was being facsimiled prior to
+publication, and at the earliest possible date would be on view in the
+Galleries where Dr. Groschen&rsquo;s collections are now exhibited.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+This was to quiet the complaints already being made by scholars and
+commentators about the difficulty of obtaining access to the MS.&nbsp;
+The importunities of several religious societies to examine the Book
+of Jasher became intolerable.&nbsp; The Dean of Rothbury, an old friend
+of Girdelstone&rsquo;s, came from the north on purpose to collate the
+new-found work.&nbsp; With permission he intended, he said, to write
+a small brochure for the S.P.C.K. on the Book of Jasher, though I believe
+that he also felt some curiosity in regard to Aulus Gellius.&nbsp; I
+may be wronging him.&nbsp; The subterfuges, lies, and devices to which
+we resorted were not very creditable to ourselves.&nbsp; Girdelstone
+gave him a dinner, and Monteagle and I persuaded the Senate to confer
+on him an honorary degree.&nbsp; We amused him with advance sheets of
+the commentary.&nbsp; He was quite a month at Oxbridge, but at last
+was <!-- page 62--><a name="page62"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 62</span>recalled
+on business to the north by some lucky domestic family bereavement.&nbsp;
+Our next difficulty was the news that Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis,
+was about to visit England to attend an Anglican Synod.&nbsp; I thought
+Girdelstone would go off his head.&nbsp; Monteagle&rsquo;s hair became
+grey in a few weeks.&nbsp; Sarpedon was sure to be invited to Oxbridge.&nbsp;
+He would meet Dr. Groschen and then expose him.&nbsp; Our fears, I soon
+found out, were shared by the <i>savant</i>, who left suddenly on one
+of those mysterious visits to the East.&nbsp; I saw that our action
+must be prompt; or Girdelstone and Monteagle would be lost.&nbsp; They
+were horrified when I told them I proposed placing the MS. on public
+view in the museum immediately.&nbsp; A large plate-glass case was made
+by my orders, in which Girdelstone and Monteagle, who obeyed me like
+lambs, deposited their precious burden.&nbsp; It was placed in the Groschen
+Hall of the FitzTaylor.&nbsp; The crush that afternoon was terrible.&nbsp;
+All the University came to peer at the new acquisition.&nbsp; I must
+tell you that Dr. Groschen&rsquo;s antiquities occupied a temporary
+and fire-proof erection built of wood and tin, <!-- page 63--><a name="page63"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 63</span>at
+the back of the museum, with which it was connected by a long stone
+gallery, adorned with plaster casts.</p>
+<p>I mingled with the crowd, and heard the remarks; though I advised
+Girdelstone and Monteagle to keep out of the way, as it would only upset
+them.&nbsp; Various dons came up and chaffed me about the opposition
+I made to the MS. being purchased.&nbsp; A little man of dark, sallow
+complexion asked me if I was Professor Girdelstone.&nbsp; He wanted
+to obtain leave to examine the MS.&nbsp; I gave him my card, and asked
+him to call on me, when I would arrange a suitable day.&nbsp; He told
+me he was a Lutheran pastor from Pomerania.</p>
+<p>I was the last to leave the museum that afternoon.&nbsp; I often
+remained in the library long after five, the usual closing hour.&nbsp;
+So I dismissed the attendants who locked up everything with the exception
+of a small door in the stone gallery always used on such occasions.&nbsp;
+I waited till six, and as I went out opened near this door a sash window,
+having removed the iron shutters.&nbsp; After dinner I went round to
+Monteagle&rsquo;s rooms.&nbsp; He and <!-- page 64--><a name="page64"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 64</span>Girdelstone
+were sitting in a despondent way on each side of the fire, sipping weak
+coffee and nibbling Albert biscuits.&nbsp; They were startled at my
+entrance.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;What <i>have</i> you decided?&rsquo; asked Girdelstone, hoarsely.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;All is arranged.&nbsp; Monteagle and I set fire to the museum
+to-night,&rsquo; I said, quietly.</p>
+<p>Girdelstone buried his face in his hands and began to sob.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Anything but that&mdash;anything but that!&rsquo; he cried.&nbsp;
+And Monteagle turned a little pale.&nbsp; At first they protested, but
+I overcame their scruples by saying they might get out of the mess how
+they liked.&nbsp; I advised Girdelstone to go to bed and plead illness
+for the next few days, for he really wanted rest.&nbsp; At eleven o&rsquo;clock
+that night, Monteagle and myself crossed the meadows at the back of
+our college, and by a circuitous route reached the grounds surrounding
+the museum, which were planted with rhododendrons and other shrubs.&nbsp;
+The pouring rain was, unfortunately, not favourable for our enterprise.&nbsp;
+I brought however a small box of combustibles from the University Laboratories,
+and a dark lantern.&nbsp; <!-- page 65--><a name="page65"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 65</span>When
+we climbed over the low wall not far from the stone gallery, I saw,
+to my horror, a light emerging from the Groschen Hall.&nbsp; Monteagle,
+who is fearfully superstitious, began chattering his teeth.&nbsp; When
+we reached the small door I saw it was open.&nbsp; A thief had evidently
+forestalled us.&nbsp; Monteagle suggested going back, and leaving the
+thief to make off with the MS.; but I would not hear of such a proposal.</p>
+<p>The door opening to the Groschen Hall at the end of the gallery was
+open, and beyond, a man, whom I at once recognised as the little Lutheran,
+was busily engaged in picking the lock of the case where were deposited
+the Book of Jasher and Aulus Gellius.&nbsp; Telling Monteagle to guard
+the door, I approached very softly, keeping behind the plaster casts.&nbsp;
+I was within a yard of him before he heard my boots creak.&nbsp; Then
+he turned round, and I found myself face to face with Dr. Groschen.&nbsp;
+I have never seen such a look of terror on any one&rsquo;s face.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;You scoundrel!&rsquo; I cried, collecting myself, &lsquo;drop
+those things at once!&rsquo; and I made for him with my fist.&nbsp;
+He dodged me.&nbsp; I ran <!-- page 66--><a name="page66"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 66</span>after
+him; but he threaded his way like a rat through the statues and cases
+of antiquities, and bolted down the passage out of the door, where he
+upset Monteagle and the lantern, and disappeared in the darkness and
+rain.&nbsp; I then returned to the scene of his labours.&nbsp; Monteagle
+was too frightened, owing to the rather ghostly appearance of the museum
+by the light of a feeble oil-lamp.&nbsp; In a small cupboard there was
+some dry sacking I had deposited there for the purpose some days before.&nbsp;
+This I ignited, along with certain native curiosities of straw and skin,
+wicker-work, and other ethnographical treasures.</p>
+<p>Some new unpacked cases left by the attendants the previous afternoon
+materially assisted the conflagration.</p>
+<p>It was an impressive scene, to witness the flames playing round the
+pedestals of the torsos, statues, and cases.&nbsp; I only waited for
+a few moments to make sure that my work was complete.&nbsp; I shut the
+iron door between the gallery and the hall to avoid the possibility
+of the fire spreading to the rest of the building.&nbsp; Then I seized
+Monteagle by the arm and hurried him through the rhododendrons, <!-- page 67--><a name="page67"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 67</span>over
+the wall, into the meadows.&nbsp; I turned back once, and just caught
+a glimpse of red flame bursting through the windows.&nbsp; Having seen
+Monteagle half-way back to the college, I returned to see if any alarm
+was given.&nbsp; Already a small crowd was collecting.&nbsp; A fire-engine
+arrived, and a local pump was almost set going.&nbsp; I returned to
+college, where I found the porter standing in the gateway.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;The FitzTaylor is burning,&rsquo; he said.&nbsp; &lsquo;I
+have been looking out for you, sir.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>There is nothing more to tell.&nbsp; To this day no one suspects
+that the fire was the work of an incendiary.&nbsp; The Professor has
+returned from the East, but lives in great retirement.&nbsp; His friends
+say he has never quite recovered the shock occasioned by the loss of
+his collection.&nbsp; The rest of the museum was uninjured.</p>
+<p>The death of Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis, at Naples,
+was a sudden and melancholy catastrophe, which people think affected
+Dr. Groschen more than the fire.&nbsp; Strangely enough, he had just
+been dining <!-- page 68--><a name="page68"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 68</span>with
+the Doctor the evening before.&nbsp; They met at Naples purposely to
+bury the hatchet.&nbsp; Sometimes I ask myself if I did right in setting
+fire to the museum.&nbsp; You see, it was for the sake of others, not
+myself, and Monteagle was an old friend.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 69--><a name="page69"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 69</span>THE
+HOOTAWA VANDYCK.</h2>
+<p>&lsquo;My own experience,&rsquo; said an expert to a group of mostly
+middle-aged men, who spent their whole life in investigating spiritual
+phenomena, &lsquo;is a peculiar one.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;It was in the early autumn of 1900.&nbsp; I was at Rome, where
+I went to investigate the relative artistic affinity between Pietro
+Cavallini and Giotto (whose position, I think, will have to be adjusted).&nbsp;
+There were as yet only a few visitors at the H&ocirc;tel Russie, chiefly
+maiden ladies and casual tourists, besides a certain Scotch family and
+myself.&nbsp; Colonel Brodie, formerly of the 69th Highlanders, was
+a retired officer of that rather peppery type which always seems to
+belong to the stage rather than real life, though you meet so many examples
+on the Continent.&nbsp; He possessed an extraordinary topographical
+knowledge of modern Rome, the tramway system, and the hours at which
+churches and galleries were open.&nbsp; He would <!-- page 70--><a name="page70"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 70</span>waylay
+you in the entrance-hall and inquire severely if you had been to the
+Catacombs.&nbsp; In the case of an affirmative answer he would describe
+an unvisited tomb or ruin, far better worth seeing; in that of a negative,
+he would smile, tell you the shortest and cheapest route, and the amount
+which should be tendered to the Trappist Father.&nbsp; Later on in the
+evening, over coffee, if he was pleased with you, he would mention in
+a very impressive manner, &ldquo;I am, as you probably know, Colonel
+Brodie, of Hootawa.&rdquo;&nbsp; His wife, beside whom I sat at table
+d&rsquo;h&ocirc;te, retained traces of former beauty.&nbsp; She was
+thin, and still tight-laced; was somewhat acid in manner; censorious
+concerning the other visitors; singularly devoted to her tedious husband,
+and fretfully attached to the beautiful daughter, for whose pleasure
+and education they were visiting Rome.&nbsp; I gathered that they were
+fairly well-to-do.</p>
+<p>It was Mrs. Brodie who first broke the ice by asking if I was interested
+in pictures.&nbsp; Miss Brodie, who sat between her parents, turned
+very red, and said, &ldquo;Oh, mamma, you are talking to one of the
+greatest experts in <!-- page 71--><a name="page71"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 71</span>Europe!&rdquo;&nbsp;
+I was surprised and somewhat gratified by her knowledge (indeed, it
+chilled me some days later when she confessed to having learnt the information
+only that day by overhearing an argument between myself and a friend
+at the Colonna Gallery on Stefano de Zevio, and the indebtedness of
+Northern Italian art to Teutonic influences).</p>
+<p>Mrs. Brodie took the intelligence quite calmly, and merely inspected
+me through her lorgnettes as if I were an object in a museum.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Ah, you must talk to Flora about pictures.&nbsp; I have no
+doubt that she will tell you a good deal that even <i>you</i> do not
+know.&nbsp; We have some very interesting pictures up in Scotland.&nbsp;
+My husband is Colonel Brodie of Hootawa (no relation to the Brodie of
+Brodie).&nbsp; His grandfather was a great collector, and originally
+we possessed seven Raphaels.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Indeed,&rdquo; I replied, eagerly, &ldquo;might I ask the
+names of the pictures?&nbsp; I should know them at once.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I have never seen them,&rdquo; said Mrs. Brodie; &ldquo;they
+were not left to my husband, who quarrelled with his father.&nbsp; Fortunately
+<!-- page 72--><a name="page72"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 72</span>none
+of us cared for Raphaels; but the most valuable pictures, including
+a Vandyck, were entailed.&nbsp; Flora is particularly attached to Vandyck.&nbsp;
+He is always so romantic, I think.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Flora, embarrassed by her mother&rsquo;s eulogy of family heirlooms,
+leaned across, as if to address me, and said, &ldquo;Oh, mamma, I don&rsquo;t
+think they really were Raphaels; they were probably only by pupils&mdash;Giulio
+Romano, Perino del Vaga, or Luca Penni.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;As you never saw them, my dear,&rdquo; said Mrs. Brodie, severely,
+&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think you can possibly tell.&nbsp; Your grandfather&rdquo;
+(she glared at me) &ldquo;was considered <i>the</i> greatest expert
+in Europe, and described them in his will as Raphaels.&nbsp; It would
+be impious to suggest that they are by any one else.&nbsp; There were
+<i>two</i> Holy Families.&nbsp; One of them was given to your grandfather
+by the King of Holland in recognition of his services; and a third was
+purchased direct from the Queen of Naples.&nbsp; But your father is
+getting impatient for his cigar.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>They rose, and bowed sweetly.&nbsp; I joined them in the glass winter-garden
+a few minutes later.</p>
+<p><!-- page 73--><a name="page73"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 73</span>&ldquo;Have
+you been to the Pincio?&nbsp; But I forgot, of course you know Rome.&nbsp;
+I do love the Pincio,&rdquo; sighed Mrs. Brodie over some needlework,
+and then, as an afterthought, &ldquo;Do you know the two things that
+have impressed me most since I came here?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I could not dare to guess any more than I dare tell you what
+has impressed me most,&rdquo; I replied, gazing softly at Flora.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;The two things which have really and truly impressed me most,&rdquo;
+continued Mrs. Brodie, &ldquo;more than anything else, more than the
+Pantheon, or the Forum, are&mdash;St. Peter&rsquo;s and the Colosseum.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+She almost looked young again.</p>
+<p>The next day we visited the Borghese; and I was able to explain to
+Flora why the circular &ldquo;Madonna and Angels&rdquo; was not by Botticelli.&nbsp;
+And, indeed, there was hardly a picture in Rome I was unable to reattribute
+to its rightful owner.&nbsp; In the apt Flora I found a receptive pupil.&nbsp;
+She even grew suspicious about the great Velasquez at the Doria, in
+which she fancied, with all the enthusiasm of youth, that she detected
+the <!-- page 74--><a name="page74"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 74</span>handling
+of Mazo.&nbsp; I soon found that it was better for her training to discourage
+her from looking at pictures at all&mdash;we confined ourselves to photographs.&nbsp;
+In a photograph you are not disturbed by colour, or by impasto.&nbsp;
+You are able to study the morphic values in a picture, by which means
+you arrive at the attribution without any disturbing &aelig;sthetic
+considerations.</p>
+<p>One afternoon, returning from some church ceremony, Flora said to
+me, &ldquo;Oh, Aleister&rdquo; (we were already engaged secretly), &ldquo;papa
+is going to ask you next winter to stay at Hootawa.&nbsp; Before I forget,
+I want to warn you never to criticise the pictures.&nbsp; They are mostly
+of the Dutch and English School, and I dare say you will find a great
+many of the names wrong; but, you know, papa is irritable, and it would
+offend him if you said that the &lsquo;Terborch&rsquo; was really by
+Pieter de Hooghe.&nbsp; You can easily avoid saying anything&mdash;and
+then, you will really admire the Vandyck.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Darling Flora, of course I promise.&nbsp; By the way, you
+never speak of your family ghost, although Mrs. Brodie always refers
+to it as if I knew all about it; and the Colonel has <!-- page 75--><a name="page75"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 75</span>often
+told me of Sir Rupert&rsquo;s military achievements.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Oh, Aleister, I don&rsquo;t know whether you believe in ghosts:
+it <i>is</i> very extraordinary.&nbsp; Whenever any disaster, or any
+good fortune happens to our family, Sir Rupert Brodie&rsquo;s figure,
+just as he appears in the Vandyck, is seen walking in the Long Gallery;
+and every night he appears at twelve o&rsquo;clock in the green spare
+bedroom; but only guests and servants ever see him there.&nbsp; We have
+a saying at Hootawa, that servants will not stay unless they are able
+to see Sir Rupert the first month after their arrival.&nbsp; Only members
+of the family are able to see him in the Long Gallery, and, of course,
+we never know whether he betokens good or ill luck.&nbsp; The last time
+he appeared there, papa was so nervous that he sold out of Consols,
+which went down an eighth the day after.&nbsp; We were all very much
+relieved.&nbsp; But he invested the money in some concern called &ldquo;The
+Imperial Federation Stylograph Pen Company,&rdquo; and lost most of
+it; so it was not of much use.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Tell me, darling, of your father&rsquo;s other investments,&rdquo;
+I asked anxiously.</p>
+<p><!-- page 76--><a name="page76"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 76</span>&ldquo;Oh,
+you must ask papa about them, I don&rsquo;t understand business; but
+I want to tell you about Sir Rupert.&nbsp; The Society for Psychical
+Research sent down a Committee to inquire into the credibility of the
+ghost, and recorded four authentic apparitions in the spare bedroom;
+and on family evidence accepted at least three events in the Long Gallery.&nbsp;
+It was just after their report was issued that papa was invited to lease
+the house to some Americans for the summer.&nbsp; He always gets a good
+price for it now, simply on account of the ghost.&nbsp; I always think
+that rather horrid.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t believe poor Sir Rupert would
+like it.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Perhaps he doesn&rsquo;t know,&rdquo; I suggested.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Of course, you don&rsquo;t believe in him,&rdquo; she said
+in rather an offended way.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;My darling, of course I do; I have always believed in ghosts.&nbsp;
+Most of the pictures in the world, as I am always saying, were painted
+by <i>ghosts</i>.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Oh, no, Aleister, you&rsquo;re laughing at me; but when you
+see Sir Rupert, as you will, in the spare bedroom, you will believe
+too.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>At the end of January, I became Flora&rsquo;s accepted fianc&eacute;.</p>
+<p><!-- page 77--><a name="page77"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 77</span>In
+February, I moved with the Brodies to Florence, where I was able to
+introduce them to all my kind and hospitable friends,&mdash;the Berensons,
+Mr. Charles Loeser, Mr. Herbert Horne, and Mr. Hobart Cust.&nbsp; Flora
+was in every way a great success, and commenced a little book on Nera
+di Bicci for Bell&rsquo;s Great Painters Series.&nbsp; She was invited
+to contribute to the <i>Burlington Magazine</i>.&nbsp; It was quite
+a primavera.&nbsp; Our marriage was arranged for the following February.&nbsp;
+The Brodies were to return to Hootawa after it was vacated by the American
+summer tenants.&nbsp; I was to join them for Christmas on my return
+from America, where I was compelled to go in order to settle my affairs.&nbsp;
+My father, Lorenzo Q. Sweat, of Chicago, evinced great pleasure at my
+approaching union with an old Scotch family; he promised me a handsome
+allowance considering his recent losses in the meat packing swindle&mdash;I
+mean trade.&nbsp; I was able to dissuade him from coming to Europe for
+the ceremony.&nbsp; After delivering two successful lectures on Pietro
+Cavallini in the early fall at mothers&rsquo; soir&eacute;es, I sailed
+for Liverpool.</p>
+<p><!-- page 78--><a name="page78"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 78</span>There
+was deep snow on the ground when I arrived at Hootawa in the early afternoon
+of a cold December day.&nbsp; The Colonel met me at the station in the
+uniform of the 69th, attended by two gillies holding torches.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;There will just be enough light to glance at the pictures
+before tea,&rdquo; he said gaily, and in three-quarters of an hour I
+was embracing Flora and saluting her mother, who were in the hall to
+greet me.&nbsp; For the most part Hootawa was a typical old Scotch castle,
+with extinguisher turrets; an incongruous Jacobean addition rather enhancing
+its picturesque ensemble.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;ll see better pictures here than anything in Rome,&rdquo;
+remarked the Colonel; but Flora giggled rather nervously.</p>
+<p>In the smoking-room and library, I inspected, with assumed interest,
+works by the little masters of Holland, and some more admirable examples
+of the English Eighteenth Century School.&nbsp; Faithful to my promise,
+I pronounced every one of them to be little gems, unsurpassed by anything
+in the private collections of America or Europe.&nbsp; We passed into
+the drawing-room and parlour with the same success.&nbsp; In the latter
+apartment the <!-- page 79--><a name="page79"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 79</span>Colonel,
+grasping my arm, said impressively: &ldquo;Now you will see our great
+treasure, the Brodie Vandyck, of which Flora has so often told you.&nbsp;
+I have never lent it for exhibition, for, as you know, we are rather
+superstitious about it.&nbsp; Sir Joshua Reynolds, in 1780, offered
+to paint the portraits of the whole family in exchange for the picture.&nbsp;
+Dr. Waagen describes it in his well-known work.&nbsp; Dr. Bode came
+from Berlin on purpose to see it some years ago, when he left a certificate
+(which was scarcely necessary) of its undoubted authenticity.&nbsp;
+I was so touched by his genuine admiration, that I presented him with
+a small Dutch picture which he admired in the smoking-room, and thought
+not unworthy of placing in the Berlin Gallery.&nbsp; I expect you know
+Dr. Bode.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Not personally,&rdquo; I said, as we stepped into the Long
+Gallery.</p>
+<p>It was a delightful panelled room, with oak-beamed ceiling.&nbsp;
+Between the mullioned windows were old Venetian mirrors and seventeenth-century
+chairs.&nbsp; At the end, concealed by a rich crimson brocade, hung
+the Vandyck, the only picture on the walls.</p>
+<p><!-- page 80--><a name="page80"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 80</span>It
+was the Colonel himself who drew aside the curtain which veiled discreetly
+the famous picture of Sir Rupert Brodie at the age of thirty-two, in
+the beautiful costume of the period.&nbsp; The face was unusually pallid;
+it was just the sort of portrait you would expect to walk out of its
+frame.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;You have never seen a finer Vandyck, I am sure,&rdquo; said
+Mrs. Brodie, anxiously.&nbsp; I examined the work with great care, employing
+a powerful pocket-glass.&nbsp; There was an awkward pause for about
+five minutes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; said the Colonel, sternly, &ldquo;have you
+nothing to say?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;It is a very interesting and excellent work, though <i>not</i>
+by Vandyck; it is by Jamieson, his Scotch pupil; the morphic forms .
+. .&rdquo;&mdash;but I got no further.&nbsp; There was a loud clap of
+thunder, and Flora fainted away.&nbsp; I was hastening to her side when
+her father&rsquo;s powerful arm seized my collar.&nbsp; He ran me down
+the gallery and out by an egress which led into the entrance hall, where
+some menial opened the massive door.&nbsp; I felt one stinging blow
+on my face; then, bleeding and helpless, I was kicked down the steps
+into the snow <!-- page 81--><a name="page81"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 81</span>from
+which I was picked up, half stunned, by one of the gillies.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Eh, mon, hae ye seen the bogles at Hootawa?&rdquo; he observed.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;It will be very civil of you if you will conduct me to the
+dep&ocirc;t, or the nearest caravanserai,&rdquo; I replied.</p>
+<p>I never saw Flora again.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>&lsquo;But what has happened about the ghost, Mr. Sweat?&nbsp; You
+never told us anything about it.&nbsp; Did you ever see it?&rsquo; asked
+one of the listeners in a disappointed tone.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Oh, I forgot; no, that was rather tragic.&nbsp; <i>Sir Rupert
+Brodie never appeared again</i>, not even in the spare bedroom; he seemed
+offended.&nbsp; Eventually his portrait was sent up to London, where
+Mr. Lionel Cust pointed out that it could not have been painted until
+after Vandyck&rsquo;s death, at which time Sir Rupert was only ten years
+old.&nbsp; Indeed, there was some uncertainty whether the picture represented
+Sir Rupert at all.&nbsp; Mr. Bowyer Nichols found fault with the costume,
+which belonged to an earlier date prior to Sir Rupert&rsquo;s <!-- page 82--><a name="page82"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 82</span>birth.&nbsp;
+Colonel Brodie never recovered from the shock.&nbsp; He resides chiefly
+at Harrogate.&nbsp; Gradually the servants all gave notice, and Hootawa
+ceased to attract Americans.&nbsp; Poor Flora!&nbsp; I ought to have
+remembered my promise; but the habit was too strong in me.&nbsp; Sir
+Oliver Lodge, I believe, has an explanation for the non-appearance of
+the phantom after the events I have described.&nbsp; He regards it as
+a good instance of <i>bypsychic duality</i>&mdash;the fortuitous phenomenon
+by which spirits are often uncertain as to whom they really represent.&nbsp;
+But I am only an art critic, not a physicist.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Herbert Horne, Esq</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 83--><a name="page83"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 83</span>THE
+ELEVENTH MUSE.</h2>
+<p>In the closing years of the last century I held the position of a
+publisher&rsquo;s hack.&nbsp; Having failed in everything except sculpture,
+I became publisher&rsquo;s reader and adviser.&nbsp; It was the age
+of the &lsquo;dicky dongs,&rsquo; and, of course, I advised chiefly
+the publication of deciduous literature, or books which dealt with the
+history of decay.&nbsp; The business, unfortunately, closed before my
+plans were materialised; but there was a really brilliant series of
+works prepared for an ungrateful public.&nbsp; A cheap and abridged
+edition of Gibbon was to have heralded the &lsquo;Ruined Home&rsquo;
+Library, as we only dealt with the decline and fall of things, and eschewed
+Motley in both senses of the word.&nbsp; &lsquo;Bad Taste in All Ages&rsquo;
+(twelve volumes edited by myself) would have rivalled some of Mr. Sidney
+Lee&rsquo;s monumental undertakings.&nbsp; It was a memory of these
+unfulfilled designs which has turned my thoughts to an old notebook&mdash;the
+skeleton of what was destined never to be a book in being.</p>
+<p>I have often wondered why no one has ever <!-- page 84--><a name="page84"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 84</span>tried
+to form an anthology of bad poetry.&nbsp; It would, of course, be easy
+enough to get together a dreary little volume of unreadable and unsaleable
+song.&nbsp; There are, however, certain stanzas so exquisite in their
+unconscious absurdity that an inverted immortality may be claimed for
+them.&nbsp; It is essential that their authors should have been serious,
+because parody and light verse have been carried to such a state of
+perfection that a tenth muse has been created&mdash;the muse of Mr.
+Owen Seaman and the late St. John Hankin for example.&nbsp; When the
+Anakim, men of old, which were men of renown&mdash;Shelley, Keats, or
+Tennyson&mdash;become playful, I confess to a feeling of nervousness:
+the unpleasant, hot sensation you experience when a distinguished man
+makes a fool of himself.&nbsp; Rossetti&mdash;I suppose from his Italian
+origin&mdash;was able to assume motley without loss of dignity, and
+that wounded Titan, the late W. E. Henley, was another exception.&nbsp;
+Both he and Rossetti had the faculty of being foolish, or obscene, without
+impairing the high seriousness of their superb poetic gifts.</p>
+<p>But I refer to more serious folly&mdash;that of <!-- page 85--><a name="page85"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 85</span>the
+disciples of Silas Wegg.&nbsp; Some friends of mine in the country employed
+a ladies&rsquo;-maid with literary proclivities.&nbsp; She was never
+known to smile; the other servants thought her stuck up; she was a great
+reader of novels, poetry, and popular books on astronomy.&nbsp; One
+day she gave notice, departed at the end of a month, left no address,
+and never applied for a character.&nbsp; Beneath the mattress of her
+bed was found a manuscript of poems.&nbsp; One of these, addressed to
+our satellite, is based on the scientific fact (of which I was not aware
+until I read her poem) that we see only one side of the moon.&nbsp;
+The ode contains this ingenious stanza:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>O beautiful moon!<br />
+When I gaze on thy face<br />
+Careering among the boundaries of space,<br />
+The thought has often come to my mind<br />
+If I ever shall see thy glorious behind.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>It was my pleasure to communicate this verse to our greatest living
+conversationalist, a point I mention because it may, in consequence,
+be already known to those who, like myself, enjoy the privileges of
+his inimitable talk.&nbsp; I possess the original manuscript of the
+<!-- page 86--><a name="page86"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 86</span>poem,
+and can supply copies of the remainder to the curious.</p>
+<p>In a magazine managed by the physician of a well-known lunatic asylum
+I found many inspiring examples.&nbsp; The patients are permitted to
+contribute: they discuss art and literature, subject of course to a
+stringent editorial discretion.&nbsp; As you might suppose, poetry occupies
+a good deal of space.&nbsp; It was from that source of clouded English
+I culled the following:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>His hair is red and blue and white,<br />
+His face is almost tan,<br />
+His brow is wet with blood and sweat,<br />
+He steals from where he can:<br />
+And looks the whole world in the face,<br />
+A drunkard and a man.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I think we have here a Henley manqu&eacute;.&nbsp; In robustious
+assertion you will not find anything to equal it in the Hospital Rhymes
+of that author.&nbsp; I was so much struck by the poem that I obtained
+permission to correspond with the poet.&nbsp; I discovered that another
+Sappho might have adorned our literature; that a mute inglorious Elizabeth
+Barrett was kept silent in Darien&mdash;for the asylum was in <!-- page 87--><a name="page87"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 87</span>the
+immediate vicinity of the Peak in Derbyshire.&nbsp; Of the correspondence
+which ensued I venture to quote only one sentence:</p>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;I was brought up to love beauty; my home was more
+than cultured; it was refined; we took in the <i>Art Journal</i> regularly.&rsquo;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Of all modern artists, I suppose that Sir Edward Burne-Jones has
+inspired more poetry than any other.&nbsp; A whole school of Oxford
+poets emerged from his fascinating palette, and he is the subject of
+perhaps the most exquisite of all the <i>Poems and Ballads</i>&mdash;the
+&lsquo;<i>Dedication</i>&rsquo;&mdash;which forms the colophon to that
+revel of rhymes.&nbsp; I sometimes think that is why his art is out
+of fashion with modern painters, who may inspire dealers, but would
+never inspire poets.&nbsp; For who could write a sonnet on some uncompromising
+pieces of realism by Mr. Rothenstein, Mr. John, or Mr. Orpen?&nbsp;
+Theirs is an art which speaks for itself.&nbsp; But Sir Edward Burne-Jones
+seems to have dazzled the undergrowth of Parnassus no less than the
+higher slopes.&nbsp; In a long and serious epic called &lsquo;The Pageant
+of Life,&rsquo; dealing with every conceivable subject, I found:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p><!-- page 88--><a name="page88"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 88</span>With
+some the mention of Burne-Jones<br />
+Elicits merely howls and groans;<br />
+But those who know each inch of art<br />
+Believe that he can bear his part.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I don&rsquo;t remember what he could bear.&nbsp; Perhaps it referred
+to his election at the Royal Academy.&nbsp; Then, again, in a &lsquo;Vision&rsquo;
+of the next world, a poet described how&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Byron, Burne-Jones, and Beethoven,<br />
+Charlotte Bronte and Chopin are there.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I wonder if this has escaped the eagle eye of Mr. Clement Shorter.&nbsp;
+Though perhaps the most delightful nonsense, for which, I fear, this
+great painter is partly responsible, may be found in a recent poem addressed
+to the memory of my old friend, Simeon Solomon:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>More of Rossetti?&nbsp; Yes:<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; You follow&rsquo;d than Burne-Jones,<br />
+Your depth of colour his<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; than that of monochromes!<br />
+Yes; amber lilies poured, I say,<br />
+A joy for thee, than poet&rsquo;s bay.</p>
+<p>But while true art refines<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; and often stimulates,<br />
+<span class="smcap">Art</span> does, at times, I say,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; sit grief within our gates!<br />
+Art causes men to weep at times&mdash;<br />
+If you may heed these falt&rsquo;ring rhymes.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p><!-- page 89--><a name="page89"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 89</span>A
+small volume of lyrics once sent to me for review afforded another flower
+for my garland:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Where in the spring-time leaves are wet,<br />
+Oh, lay my love beneath the shades,<br />
+Where men remember to forget,<br />
+And are forgot in Hades.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>But I have given enough examples for what would form Part I. of the
+English anthology.&nbsp; Part II. would consist of really bad verses
+from really great poetry.</p>
+<blockquote><p>Auspicious Reverence, hush all meaner song,</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>is one of the most pompously stupid lines in English poetry.&nbsp;
+Arnold did not hesitate to quote instances from Shakespeare:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Till that Bellona&rsquo;s bridegroom, lapp&rsquo;d in
+proof,<br />
+Confronted him with self-comparisons.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>You would have to sacrifice Browning, because it might fairly be
+concluded&mdash;well, anything might be concluded about Browning.&nbsp;
+Byron is, of course, a mine.&nbsp; Arthur Hugh Clough is, perhaps, the
+&lsquo;flawless numskull,&rsquo; as, I think, Swinburne calls him.&nbsp;
+Tennyson surpassed</p>
+<blockquote><p>A Mr. Wilkinson, a clergyman,</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p><!-- page 90--><a name="page90"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 90</span>in
+many of his serious poems.</p>
+<blockquote><p>To travellers indeed the sea<br />
+Must always interesting be</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I have heard ascribed to Wordsworth, but wrongly, I believe.&nbsp;
+I should, of course, exclude from the collection living writers; only
+the select dead would be requisitioned.&nbsp; They cannot retort.&nbsp;
+And the entertaining volume would illustrate that curious artistic law&mdash;the
+survival of the unfittest, of which we are only dimly beginning to realise
+the significance.&nbsp; It is like the immortality of the invalid, now
+recognised by all men of science.&nbsp; You see it manifested in the
+plethora of memoirs.&nbsp; All new books not novels are about great
+dead men by unimportant little living ones.&nbsp; When I am asked, as
+I have been, to write recollections of certain &lsquo;people of importance,&rsquo;
+as Dante says, I feel the force of that law very keenly.</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Frederick Stanley Smith, Esq</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 91--><a name="page91"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 91</span>SWINBLAKE:
+A PROPHETIC BOOK, WITH HOME ZARATHRUSTS.</h2>
+<p>Every student of Blake has read, or must read, Mr. Swinburne&rsquo;s
+extraordinary essay, <i>William Blake: a critical study</i>, of which
+a new edition was recently published.&nbsp; It would be idle at this
+time of day to criticise.&nbsp; Much has been discovered, and more is
+likely to be discovered, about Blake since 1866.&nbsp; The interest
+of the book, for us, is chiefly reflex.&nbsp; <i>And does not the great
+mouth laugh at a gift</i>, if scheduled in an examination paper with
+the irritating question, &lsquo;From what author does this quotation
+come?&rsquo; would probably elicit the reply, &lsquo;Swinburne.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+Yet it occurs in one of Blake&rsquo;s prophetic books.</p>
+<p>How fascinated Blake would have been with Mr. Swinburne if by some
+exquisite accident he had lived <i>after</i> him.&nbsp; We should <!-- page 92--><a name="page92"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 92</span>have
+had, I fancy, another Prophetic Book; something of this kind:</p>
+<blockquote><p>Swinburne roars and shakes the world&rsquo;s literature&mdash;<br />
+The English Press, and a good many contemporaries&mdash;<br />
+Tennyson palls, Browning is found&mdash;<br />
+Only a brownie&mdash;<br />
+The mountains divide, the Press is unanimous&mdash;<br />
+Aylwin is born&mdash;<br />
+On a perilous path, on the cliff of immortality&mdash;<br />
+I met Theodormon&mdash;<br />
+He seemed sad: I said, &lsquo;Why are you sad&mdash;<br />
+Are you writing the long-promised life&mdash;<br />
+Of Dante Gabriel Rossetti?&rsquo;&mdash;<br />
+He sighed and said, &lsquo;No, not that&mdash;<br />
+Not that, my child&mdash;<br />
+I consigned the task to William Michael&mdash;<br />
+Pre-Raphaelite memoirs are cheap to-day&mdash;<br />
+You can have them for a sextet or an octave.&rsquo;&mdash;<br />
+I brightened and said, &lsquo;Then you are writing a sonnet?&rsquo;<br />
+He shook his head and said it was symbolical&mdash;<br />
+For six and eightpence!&mdash;<br />
+A golden rule: Never lend only George Borrow&mdash;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>A new century had begun, and I asked Theodormon what he was doing
+on that path and where Mr. Swinburne was.&nbsp; Beneath us yawned the
+gulf of oblivion.</p>
+<p><!-- page 93--><a name="page93"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 93</span>&lsquo;Be
+careful, young man, not to tumble over; are you a poet or a biographer?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>I explained that I was merely a tourist.&nbsp; He gave a sigh of
+relief: &lsquo;I have an appointment here with my only disciple, Mr.
+Howlglass; if you are not careful he may write an appreciation of you.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;My dear Theodormon, if you will show me how to reach Mr. Swinburne
+I will help you.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I swear by the most sacred of all oaths, by Aylwin, you shall
+see Swinburne.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Just then we saw a young man coming along the path with a Kodak and
+a pink evening paper.&nbsp; He seemed pleased to see me, and said, &lsquo;May
+I appreciate you?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>I gave the young man a push and he fell right over the cliff.&nbsp;
+Theodormon threw down after him a heavy-looking book which, alighting
+on his skull, smashed it.&nbsp; &lsquo;My preserver,&rsquo; he cried,
+&lsquo;you shall see what you like, you shall do what you like, except
+write my biography.&nbsp; Swinburne is close at hand, though he occasionally
+wanders.&nbsp; His permanent address is the Peaks, Parnassus.&nbsp;
+Perhaps you would like to pay some other calls as well.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>I assented.</p>
+<p><!-- page 94--><a name="page94"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 94</span>We
+came to a printing-house and found William Morris reverting to type
+and transmitting art to the middle classes.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;The great Tragedy of Topsy&rsquo;s life,&rsquo; said Theodormon,
+&lsquo;is that he converted the middle classes to art and socialism,
+but he never touched the unbending Tories of the proletariat or the
+smart set.&nbsp; You would have thought, on hom&oelig;opathic principles,
+that cretonne would appeal to cretins.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Vale, vale,&rsquo; cried Charles Ricketts from the interior.</p>
+<p>I was rather vexed, as I wanted to ask Ricketts his opinions about
+various things and people and to see his wonderful collection.&nbsp;
+Shannon, however, presented me with a lithograph and a copy of &lsquo;Memorable
+Fancies,&rsquo; by C. R.</p>
+<blockquote><p>How sweet I roamed from school to school,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; But I attached myself to none;<br />
+I sat upon my ancient Dial<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And watched the other artists&rsquo; fun.</p>
+<p>Will Rothenstein can guard the faith,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Safe for the Academic fold;<br />
+&rsquo;Twas very wise of William Strang,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; What need have I of Chantrey&rsquo;s gold?</p>
+<p><!-- page 95--><a name="page95"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 95</span>Let
+the old masters be my share,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And let them fall on B. B.&rsquo;s corn;<br />
+Let the Uffizi take to Steer&mdash;<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; What do I care for Herbert Horne</p>
+<p>Or the stately Holmes of England,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Whose glories never fade;<br />
+The Constable of Burlington,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Who holds the Oxford Slade.</p>
+<p>It&rsquo;s Titian here and Titian there,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And come to have a look;<br />
+But &lsquo;thanks of course Giorgione,&rsquo;<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; With Mr. Herbert Cook.</p>
+<p>For MacColl is an intellectual thing,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And Hugh P. Lane keeps Dublin awake,<br />
+And Fry to New York has taken wing,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And Charles Holroyd has got the cake.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>After turning round a rather sharp corner I began to ask Theodormon
+if John Addington Symonds was anywhere to be found.&nbsp; He smiled,
+and said: &lsquo;I know why you are asking.&nbsp; Of course he <i>is</i>
+here, but we don&rsquo;t see much of him.&nbsp; He published, at the
+Kelmscott, the other day, &ldquo;An Ode to a Grecian Urning.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+The proceeds of the sale went to the Arts and Krafts Ebbing Guild, but
+the issue of &ldquo;Aretino&rsquo;s Bosom, and other Poems,&rdquo; has
+been postponed.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><!-- page 96--><a name="page96"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 96</span>We
+now reached a graceful Renaissance building covered with blossoms; on
+each side of the door were two blue-breeched gondoliers smoking calamus.&nbsp;
+Theodormon hurried on, whispering: &lsquo;<i>That</i> is where he lives.&nbsp;
+If you want to see Swinburne you had better make haste, as it is getting
+late, and I want you to inspect the Castalian spring.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The walking became very rough just here; it was really climbing.&nbsp;
+Suddenly I became aware of dense smoke emerging with a rumbling sound
+from an overhanging rock.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I had no idea Parnassus was volcanic now,&rsquo; I remarked.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;No more had we,&rsquo; said Theodormon; &lsquo;it is quite
+a recent eruption due to the Celtic movement.&nbsp; The rock you see,
+however, is not a real rock, but a sham rock.&nbsp; Mr. George Moore
+has been turned out of the cave, and is still hovering about the entrance.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Looming through the smoke, which hung like a veil of white muslin
+between us, I was able to trace the silhouette of that engaging countenance
+which Edouard Manet and others have immortalised.&nbsp; &lsquo;Go away,&rsquo;
+he said: &lsquo;I do not want to speak to you.&rsquo;&nbsp; <!-- page 97--><a name="page97"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 97</span>&lsquo;Come,
+come, Mr. Moore,&rsquo; I rejoined, &lsquo;will you not grant a few
+words to a really warm admirer?&rsquo;&mdash;but he had faded away.&nbsp;
+Then a large hand came out of the cavern and handed me a piece of paper,
+and a deep voice with a slight brogue said: &lsquo;If you see mi darlin&rsquo;
+Gosse give this to him.&rsquo;&nbsp; The paper contained these verses:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Georgey Morgie, kidden and sly,<br />
+Kissed the girls and made them cry;<br />
+<i>What</i> the girls came out to say<br />
+George never heard, for he ran away.</p>
+<p>W. B. Y</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>We skirted the edge of a thick wood.&nbsp; A finger-post pointed
+to the Castalian spring, and a notice-board indicated <i>Trespassers
+will be prosecuted</i>.&nbsp; <i>The lease to be disposed of.&nbsp;
+Apply to G. K. Chesterton</i>.</p>
+<p>Soon we came to an open space in which was situated a large, rather
+dilapidated marble tank.&nbsp; I noticed that the water did not reach
+further than the bathers&rsquo; stomachs.&nbsp; Theodormon anticipated
+my surprise.&nbsp; &lsquo;Yes, we have had to depress the level of the
+water during the last few years out of compliment to some <!-- page 98--><a name="page98"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 98</span>of
+the bathers, and there have been a good many bathing fatalities of a
+very depressing description.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;You don&rsquo;t mean to say,&rsquo; I replied, &lsquo;Richard
+le Gallienne?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Hush! hush! he was rescued.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Stephen Phillips?&rsquo; I asked, anxiously.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Well, he couldn&rsquo;t swim, of course, but he floated; you
+see he had the Sidney Colvin lifebelt on, and that is always a great
+assistance.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Not,&rsquo; I almost shrieked, &lsquo;my favourite poet, the
+author of &ldquo;Lord &rsquo;a Muzzy don&rsquo;t you fret.&nbsp; Missed
+we De Wet.&nbsp; Missed we De Wet&rdquo;?&rsquo;</p>
+<p>Theodormon became very grave.&nbsp; &lsquo;We do not know any of
+their names,&rsquo; he said.&nbsp; &lsquo;I will show you, presently,
+the Morgue.&nbsp; Perhaps you will be able to identify some of your
+friends.&nbsp; The Coroner has refused to open an inquest until Mr.
+John Lane can attend to give his evidence.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>I saw the Poet Laureate trying very hard to swim on his back.&nbsp;
+Another poet was sitting down on the marble floor so that the water
+might at least come up to his neck.&nbsp; Gazing <!-- page 99--><a name="page99"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 99</span>disconsolately
+into the pellucid shallows I saw the revered and much-loved figures
+of Mr. Andrew Lang, Mr. Austin Dobson, and Mr. Edmund Gosse.&nbsp; &lsquo;Going
+for a dip?&rsquo; said Theodormon.&nbsp; &lsquo;Thanks, we don&rsquo;t
+care about paddling,&rsquo; Mr. Lang retorted.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;I hope it is not <i>always</i> so shallow,&rsquo; I said to
+my guide.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Oh, no; we have a new water-supply, but as the spring is in
+the nature of a public place, we won&rsquo;t turn on the fresh water
+until people have learnt to appreciate what is good.&nbsp; That handsome
+little marble structure which you see at the end of the garden is really
+the <i>new</i> Castalian Spring.&nbsp; At all events, that is where
+all the miracles take place.&nbsp; The old bath is terribly out of repair,
+in spite of plumbing.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>We then inspected a very neat little apartment mosaiced in gold.&nbsp;
+Round the walls were attractive drinking-fountains, and on each was
+written the name of the new water&mdash;I mean the new poet.&nbsp; Some
+of them I recognised: Laurence Binyon, A. E. Housman, Sturge Moore,
+Santayana, Arthur Symons, Herbert Trench, Henry Simpson, Laurence <!-- page 100--><a name="page100"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 100</span>Housman,
+F. W. Tancred, Arthur Lyon Raile, William Watson, Hugh Austin.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;You see we have the very latest,&rsquo; said Theodormon, &lsquo;provided
+it is always the best.&nbsp; I am sorry to say that some of the taps
+don&rsquo;t give a constant supply, but that is because the machinery
+wants oiling.&nbsp; Try some Binyon,&rsquo; said my guide, filling a
+gold cup on which was wrought by some cunning craftsman the death of
+Adam and the martyrdom of the Blessed Christina.&nbsp; I found it excellent
+and refreshing, and observed that it was cheering to come across the
+excellence of sincerity and strength at a comparatively new source .
+. .</p>
+<p>Mr. Swinburne was seated in an arbour of roses, clothed in a gold
+dalmatic, a birthday gift from his British Peers.&nbsp; Their names
+were embroidered in pearls on the border.&nbsp; I asked permission to
+read my address:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>There beats no heart by Cam or Isis<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; (Where tides of poets ebb and flow),<br />
+But guards Dolores as a crisis<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Of long ago.</p>
+<p><!-- page 101--><a name="page101"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 101</span>A
+crisis bringing fire and wonder,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; A gift of some dim Eastern Mage,<br />
+A firework still smouldering under<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; The feet of middle age.</p>
+<p>For you could love and hate and tell us<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Of almost everything,<br />
+You made our older poets jealous,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; For you alone could sing.</p>
+<p>In truth it was your splendid praises<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Which made us wake<br />
+To glories hidden in the phrases<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Of William Blake.</p>
+<p>No boy who sows his metric salads<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; His tamer oats,<br />
+But always steals from Swinburne&rsquo;s ballads<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; The stronger notes.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>&lsquo;Do you play golf?&rsquo; said Mr. Swinburne, handing me two
+little spheres such as are used in the royal game.&nbsp; And I heard
+no more; for I received a blow&mdash;whether delivered by Mr. Swinburne
+or the ungrateful Theodormon I do not know, but I found myself falling
+down the gulf of oblivion, and suddenly, with a dull thud, I landed
+on the remains of Howlglass.&nbsp; The softness of his head had really
+preserved me from what might have <!-- page 102--><a name="page102"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 102</span>been
+a severe shock, because the distance from Parnassus to Fleet Street,
+as you know, is considerable, and the escalade might have been more
+serious.&nbsp; I reached my rooms in Half Moon Street, however, having
+seen only one star, with just a faint nostalgia for the realms into
+which for one brief day I was privileged to peep.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 103--><a name="page103"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 103</span>A
+MISLAID POET.</h2>
+<p>In the closing years of my favourite last century, when poetry was
+more discussed than it is now (at all events as a marketable commodity),
+few verse-writers were overlooked.&nbsp; Bosola&rsquo;s observation
+about &lsquo;the neglected poets of your time&rsquo; could not be quoted
+with any propriety.&nbsp; Mr. John Lane would make long and laborious
+journeys on the District Railway, armed <i>bag-&agrave;-pied</i>, in
+order to discover the new and unpublished.&nbsp; Now he has shot over
+all the remaining preserves; laurels and bays, so necessary for the
+breed &lsquo;of men and women over-wrought,&rsquo; have withered in
+the London soot.&nbsp; There was one bright creature, however, who escaped
+his rifle; she was brought down by another sportsman, and thus missed
+some of the fame which might have attached to her had she been trussed
+and hung in the Bodley Head.&nbsp; Poaching in the library at Thelema,
+I came across her by accident.&nbsp; Her song is not without significance.</p>
+<p>In 1878 Georgiana Farrer mentioned on <!-- page 104--><a name="page104"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 104</span>page
+190 of her <i>Miscellaneous Poems</i>, &lsquo;I am old by sin entangled;&rsquo;
+but this was probably a pious exaggeration.&nbsp; Only some one young
+and intellectually very vigorous could have penned her startling numbers.&nbsp;
+I suggest that she retained more of her youth than, from religious motives,
+she thought it proper to admit.&nbsp; In the &rsquo;eighties, when incense
+was burned in drawing-rooms, and people were talking about &lsquo;The
+Blessed Damozel,&rsquo; she could write of Paradise:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>A home where Jesus Christ is King,<br />
+A home where e&rsquo;en Archangels sing,<br />
+Where common wealth is shared by all,<br />
+And God Himself lights up the Hall.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>She was philosemite, and from the reference to Lord Beaconsfield
+we can easily date the following:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>You who doubt the truth of Scripture,<br />
+Pray tell me, then, who are the Jews?<br />
+Scattered in all lands and nations,<br />
+Pray why their evidence refuse?</p>
+<p>It seems to me you must be blind;<br />
+Are they not daily gaining ground?<br />
+We find them now in every land,<br />
+And well-nigh ruling all around.</p>
+<p><!-- page 105--><a name="page105"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 105</span>Their
+music is most sweet to hear;<br />
+Jews were Rossini and Mozart,<br />
+Mendelssohn, too, and Meyerbeer;<br />
+Grisi in song could charm the heart.</p>
+<p>The funds their princes hold in hand;<br />
+Their merchants trade both near and far;<br />
+Ill-used and robbed they long have been,<br />
+Yet wealthy now they surely are.</p>
+<p>In Germany who has great sway?<br />
+Prince Bismarck, most will answer me;<br />
+Our own Prime Minister retains<br />
+A name that shows his pedigree.</p>
+<p>Who after this will dare to say<br />
+They nought in these strange people see;<br />
+Do they not prove the Scripture true,<br />
+And throw a light on history?</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>The twenty-five years that have elapsed since the poem was written
+must have convinced those innocent persons who &lsquo;saw nought&rsquo;
+in our Israelitish compatriots.&nbsp; I never heard before that Prince
+Bismarck or Mozart was of Jewish extraction!</p>
+<p>Mrs. Farrer was, of course, an evangelical, somewhat old-fashioned
+for so late a date; and fairly early in her volume she warns us of what
+we may expect.&nbsp; She is anxious to <!-- page 106--><a name="page106"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 106</span>damp
+any undue optimism as to the lightness of her muse.&nbsp; When worldly,
+foolish people like Whistler and Pater were talking &lsquo;art for art&rsquo;s
+sake,&rsquo; she could strike a decisive didactic blow:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>My voice like thunder may appear,<br />
+Yet oft-times I have shed a tear<br />
+Behind the peal, like rain in storm,<br />
+To moisten those I would reform.</p>
+<p>Then pardon if my stormy mood,<br />
+Instead of blighting, does some good.<br />
+Sooner a thunder-clap, think me,<br />
+Than sunstroke sent in wrath on thee.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>With a splendid Calvinism, too rare at that time, she would not argue
+beyond a <i>certain</i> limit; there was an edge, she realised, to every
+platform; an ounce of assertion is worth pounds of proof.&nbsp; Religious
+discussion after a time becomes barren:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Then hundredfolds to sinners<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Must be repaid in Hell.<br />
+If you think such men winners,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; We disagree.&nbsp; Farewell.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>But to the person who <i>is</i> right (and Mrs. Farrer was never
+in a moment&rsquo;s doubt, though her prosody is influenced sometimes
+by the <!-- page 107--><a name="page107"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 107</span>sceptical
+Matthew Arnold) there is no mean reward:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>I sparkle resplendent,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; A star in His crown,<br />
+And glitter for ever,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; A gem of renown.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>From internal evidence we can gauge her social position, while her
+views of caste appear in these radical days a trifle <i>demod&eacute;</i>.&nbsp;
+Her metaphors of sin are all derived from the life of paupers:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Paupers through their sinful folly<br />
+Are workers of iniquity,<br />
+Living on Jehovah&rsquo;s bounty,<br />
+Wasting in abject poverty.</p>
+<p>A pauper&rsquo;s funeral their end,<br />
+No angels waft their souls on high;<br />
+Rich they were thought on earth, perhaps,<br />
+Yet far from wealth accursed they lie.</p>
+<p>Who are the rich?&nbsp; God&rsquo;s Word declares,<br />
+The men whose treasure is above&mdash;<br />
+Those humble working <i>gentlefolk</i><br />
+Whose life flows on in deeds of love.</p>
+<p>Despised in life I may remain,<br />
+Misunderstood by rich and poor;<br />
+An entrance yet I hope to gain<br />
+To wealthy plains on endless shore.</p>
+<p><!-- page 108--><a name="page108"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 108</span>No
+paupers in that heavenly land,<br />
+The sons of God are rich indeed;<br />
+His daughters all His treasures share;<br />
+It will their highest hopes exceed.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Those paupers who are &lsquo;saved&rsquo; are rewarded by material
+comforts such as graced the earthly home of Georgiana herself, one of
+the &lsquo;humble working <i>gentlefolk</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp; She enjoys
+her own fireside with an almost Pecksniffian relish, and she profoundly
+observes, as she sits beside her hearth:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Like forest trees men rise and grow:<br />
+Good timber some will prove,<br />
+Others decayed as fuel piled,<br />
+Prepared are for that stove</p>
+<p>That burns for ever, Tophet called,<br />
+Heated by jealous heat,<br />
+Adapted to destroy all chaff,<br />
+And leaves unscorched the wheat.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Excellent Georgiana!&nbsp; She could not stand very much chaff of
+any kind, I suspect.</p>
+<p>The alarming progress of ritualism in the &rsquo;eighties disturbed
+her considerably, though it inspired some of her more weighty verses.&nbsp;
+<!-- page 109--><a name="page109"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 109</span>They
+should be favourites with Dr. Clifford and Canon Hensley Henson:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Some men in our days cover over<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; A body deformed with their sin:<br />
+A cross worked in various colours,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Forgetting that God looks within.</p>
+<p>Alas! in our churches at present<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Simplicity seems quite despised;<br />
+To represent things far above us<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Are heathenish customs revived.</p>
+<p>This evil is spreading among us,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; And where will it end, can you tell?<br />
+Join not with the misled around us,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Take warning, my readers . . .</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>The veneration of the Blessed Virgin goaded her into composition
+of stanzas unparalleled in the whole literature of Protestantism:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>My readers, can you nowhere see<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; A parallel to Israel&rsquo;s sin?<br />
+The House of God, at home, abroad:<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; <i>Idols are there</i>&mdash;that house within.</p>
+<p>Who incense burns? are strange cakes made?<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; What woman&rsquo;s chapel, decked with gold,<br />
+Stands full of unchecked worshippers<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Like those idolaters of old?</p>
+<p><!-- page 110--><a name="page110"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 110</span>The
+Blessed Virgin&mdash;blest she is<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; That does not make her Heaven&rsquo;s Queen!<br />
+Yet some are taught to worship her;<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; What else does all this teaching mean?</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>What she denied to the Mother of God she accorded (rather daringly,
+I opine) to one Harriet, whose death and future are recorded in the
+following lines:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Declining like the setting sun<br />
+After a course divinely run,<br />
+I saw a maiden passing fair<br />
+Reposing on an easy chair.</p>
+<p>A Bridegroom of celestial mien<br />
+Came forth and claimed her for His Queen;<br />
+One with His Father on His throne<br />
+She lives entirely His own.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Harrietolatry, I thought, was confined to the members of the defunct
+Shelley Society.&nbsp; But every reader will feel the poignant truth
+of Mrs. Farrer&rsquo;s view of the Church of England&mdash;truer to-day
+than it could have been in the &rsquo;eighties:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>The Church of England&mdash;grand old ship&mdash;<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Toss&rsquo;d is on a troubled sea!<br />
+Her sails are rent, her decks are foul&rsquo;d,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Mutiny on board must be.</p>
+<p><!-- page 111--><a name="page111"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 111</span>The
+winds of discord howl around,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Wild disputers throw up foam,<br />
+From high to low she&rsquo;s beat about;<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Frighten&rsquo;d some who love her roam.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>I do not know if the last word is intended for a pun, but I scarcely
+think it is likely.</p>
+<p>I would like to reconstruct Mrs. Farrer&rsquo;s home, with its stiff
+Victorian chairs, its threaded antimacassars, its pictorial paper-weights,
+its wax flowers under glass shades, and the charming household porcelain
+from the Derby and Worcester furnaces.&nbsp; There must have been a
+sabbatic air of comfort about the dining-room which was soothing.&nbsp;
+I can see the engravings after Landseer: &lsquo;The Stag at Bay,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Dignity and Impudence&rsquo;; or those after Martin: &lsquo;The
+Plains of Heaven,&rsquo; and &lsquo;The Great Day of His Wrath&rsquo;;
+and &lsquo;Blucher meeting Wellington,&rsquo; after Maclise.&nbsp; I
+can see on each side of the mirror examples of the art of Daguerre,
+which have already begun to produce in us the same sentiment that we
+get from the early Tuscans; and on the mantelpiece a photograph of Harriet
+in a plush frame, the one touch of modernity in a room which was otherwise
+severely 1845.&nbsp; Then, on a bookshelf which <!-- page 112--><a name="page112"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 112</span>hung
+above the old tea-caddy and cut-glass sugar-bowl, Georgiana&rsquo;s
+library&mdash;&lsquo;Line upon Line,&rsquo; &lsquo;Precept upon Precept,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Jane the Cottager,&rsquo; &lsquo;Pinnock&rsquo;s Scripture History,&rsquo;
+and a few costly works bound in the style of the Albert Memorial.&nbsp;
+The drawing-room, just a trifle damp, must have contained Mr. Hunt&rsquo;s
+&lsquo;Light of the World,&rsquo; which Mrs. Farrer never quite learned
+to love, though it was a present from a missionary, and rendered fire
+and artificial light unnecessary during the winter months.&nbsp; Would
+that Mrs. Farrer&rsquo;s home-life had come under the magic lens of
+Mr. Edmund Gosse, for it would now be classic, like the household of
+Sir Thomas More.</p>
+<p>Whatever its attractions, Mrs. Farrer was at times induced to go
+abroad, visiting, I imagine, only the Protestant cantons of Switzerland.&nbsp;
+She stayed, however, in Paris, which she apostrophises with Sibyllic
+candour:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>O city of pleasure, what did I see<br />
+When passing through or staying in thee.<br />
+Bright shone the sun above, blue was the sky,<br />
+Everywhere music heard, none seemed to sigh.<br />
+Beautiful carriages in Champs Elys&eacute;e<br />
+Filled with fair maidens on cushions easy.<br />
+<!-- page 113--><a name="page113"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 113</span>Such
+was the outer side; what was within?<br />
+Most I was often told revelled in sin.<br />
+Sad its fate since I left, sadder &rsquo;twill be<br />
+If they go on in sin as seen by me.<br />
+Let us hope, ere too late, warned by the past,<br />
+They may seek pleasures more likely to last,<br />
+Or, like to Babylon, it must decline,<br />
+And o&rsquo;er its ruins its lovers repine.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>But London hardly fares much better, in spite of Mrs. Farrer&rsquo;s
+own residence, at Campden Hill, if I may hazard the locality:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>To the tomb they must go,<br />
+Rich and poor all in woe,<br />
+Strange motley throng.<br />
+Wealth in its splendour weeps,<br />
+Poverty silence keeps;<br />
+None last here long. . . .<br />
+So much for thee, London.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Except in a spiritual sense, her existence was not an eventful one.&nbsp;
+It was, I think, the loss of some neighbour&rsquo;s child which suggested:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Nellarina, forced exotic,<br />
+Born to bloom in region fair,<br />
+Thou wert to me a narcotic,<br />
+Hope I did thy lot to share.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p><!-- page 114--><a name="page114"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 114</span>Any
+near personal sorrow she does not seem to have experienced, I am glad
+to say, else she might have regarded it as a grievance the consequences
+of which one dares not contemplate; you feel that <i>Some One</i> would
+have heard of it in no measured terms.&nbsp; Certainty and content are,
+indeed, the dominating notes of her poetry rather than mere commonplace
+hope:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>I am bound for the land of Beulah,<br />
+There all the guests sing Hallelujah.<br />
+No longer time here let us squander,<br />
+But on the good things promised ponder.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>It would be futile to discuss the exact position on Parnassus of
+a lady whose throne was secured on a more celestial mountain, even more
+difficult of access.&nbsp; But I think we may claim for her an honourable
+place in that new Oxford school of poetry of which Professor Mackail
+officially knows little, and of which Dr. Warren (the President of Magdalen)
+is the distinguished living protagonist.&nbsp; With all her acrid Evangelicalism
+she was a good soul, for she was fond of animals and children, and kind
+to them both in her own way; so I am sure some of <!-- page 115--><a name="page115"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 115</span>her
+dreams have been realised, even if there has reached her nostrils just
+a whiff of those tolerating purgatorial fires which, spelt differently,
+she believed to be <i>permanently</i> prepared for the vast majority
+of her contemporaries.</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Carew</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 116--><a name="page116"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 116</span>GOING
+UP TOP.</h2>
+<p>During the closing years of the last century certain critics contracted
+a rather depressing habit of numbering men of letters, especially poets,
+as though they were overcoats in a cloak-room, or boys competing in
+an examination set by themselves.&nbsp; &lsquo;It requires very little
+discernment,&rsquo; wrote the late Churton Collins, <span class="smcap">a.d.</span>
+1891, &lsquo;to foresee that among the English poets of the present
+century the first place will <i>ultimately</i> be assigned to Wordsworth,
+the second to Byron, and the third to Shelley.&rsquo;&nbsp; Matthew
+Arnold, I fear, was the first to make these unsafe Zadkielian prognostications.&nbsp;
+He, if I remember correctly, gave Byron the first place and Wordsworth
+the second; but Swinburne, with his usual discernment, observed that
+English taste in that eventuality would be in the same state as it was
+at the end of the seventeenth century, which firmly believed <!-- page 117--><a name="page117"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 117</span>that
+Fletcher and Jonson were the best of its poets.</p>
+<p>But when is Ultimately?&nbsp; Obviously not the present moment.&nbsp;
+Byron does not hold the rank awarded him by the distinguished critic
+in 1891.&nbsp; The cruel test of the auctioneer&rsquo;s hammer has recently
+shown that Keats and Shelley are regarded as far more important by those
+unprejudiced judges, the book-dealers.&nbsp; Wordsworth, of course,
+is still one of the poets&rsquo; poets, and the <i>Spectator</i>, that
+Mrs. Micawber of literature, will, of course, never desert him; but
+I doubt very much whether he has yet reached the harbour of Ultimately.&nbsp;
+His repellent personality has blinded a good many of us to his exquisite
+qualities; on the Greek Kalends of criticism, however, may I be there
+to see.&nbsp; I shall certainly vote for him if I am one of the examiners&mdash;or
+one of the cloak-room attendants.</p>
+<p>It was against such kind of criticism that Whistler hurled his impatient
+epigram about pigeon-holes.&nbsp; And if it is absurd in regard to painting,
+how much more absurd is it in regard to the more various and less friable
+substances of literature.&nbsp; By the old ten-o&rsquo;clock <!-- page 118--><a name="page118"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 118</span>rule
+(I do not refer to Whistler&rsquo;s lecture), once observed in Board
+schools, no scripture could be taught after that hour.&nbsp; Once a
+teacher asked his class who was the wisest man.&nbsp; &lsquo;Solomon,&rsquo;
+said a little boy.&nbsp; &lsquo;Right; go up top,&rsquo; said the teacher.&nbsp;
+But there was a small pedant who, while never paying much attention
+to the lessons, and being usually at the bottom of the form in consequence,
+knew the regulations by heart.&nbsp; He interrupted with a shrill voice
+(for the clock had passed the hour), &lsquo;No, sir, please, sir; past
+ten o&rsquo;clock, sir . . . Solon.&rsquo;&nbsp; Thus it is, I fear,
+with critics of every generation, though they try very hard to make
+the time pass as slowly as possible.</p>
+<p>But if invidious distinctions between great men are inexact and tiresome,
+I opine that it is ungenerous and ignoble to declare that when a great
+man has just died, we really cannot judge of him or his work because
+we have been his contemporaries.&nbsp; The caution of obituary notices
+seems to me cowardly, and the reviews of books are cowardly too.&nbsp;
+We have become Laodiceans.&nbsp; We are even fearful of exposing imposture
+in current <!-- page 119--><a name="page119"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 119</span>literature
+lest we get into hot water with a publisher.</p>
+<p>During a New Year week I was invited by Lord and Lady Lyonesse to
+a very diverting house-party.&nbsp; This peer, it will be remembered,
+is the well-known radical philanthropist who owed his title to a lifelong
+interest in the submerged tenth.&nbsp; Their house, Ivanhoe, is an exquisite
+gothic structure not unjustly regarded as the masterpiece of the late
+Sir Gilbert Scott: it overlooks the Ouse.&nbsp; Including our hosts
+we numbered forty persons, and the personnel, including valets, chauffeurs,
+and ladies&rsquo;-maids brought by the guests, numbered sixty.&nbsp;
+In all, we were a hundred souls, assuming immortality for the chauffeurs
+and the five Scotch gardeners.&nbsp; On January 2nd somebody produced
+after dinner a copy of the <i>Petit Parisien</i> relating the plebiscite
+for the greatest Frenchman of the nineteenth century; another guest
+capped him with the <i>Evening News</i> list.&nbsp; The famous <i>Pall
+Mall Gazette</i> Academy of Forty was recalled with indifferent accuracy.&nbsp;
+Conversation was flagging; our hostess looked relieved; very soon we
+were all playing a <!-- page 120--><a name="page120"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 120</span>variation
+of that most charming game, <i>suck-pencil</i>.</p>
+<p>At first we decided to ignore the nineteenth century.&nbsp; The ten
+greatest living Englishmen were to be named by our votes.&nbsp; Bridge
+and billiard players were dragged to the polling-station in the green
+drawing-room.&nbsp; Lord Lyonesse and myself were the tellers.&nbsp;
+I shivered with excitement.&nbsp; One of the Ultimatelies of Churton
+Collins seemed to have arrived: it was G&ouml;tterd&auml;mmerung&mdash;the
+Twilight of the Idols.&nbsp; And here is the result of the ballot, which
+I think every one will admit possesses extraordinary interest:</p>
+<p>Hall Caine.</p>
+<p>Marie Corelli.</p>
+<p>Rudyard Kipling.</p>
+<p>Lord Northcliffe.</p>
+<p>Sir Thomas Lipton.</p>
+<p>Hichens.</p>
+<p>Chamberlain.</p>
+<p>Barrie.</p>
+<p>George Alexander.</p>
+<p>Beerbohm Tree.</p>
+<p>I ought to add, of course, that the guests were unusually intellectual.&nbsp;
+There were our host and hostess, their three sons&mdash;one is a scholar
+of King&rsquo;s College, Cambridge, another is at Balliol, and a third
+is a stockbroker; there were five M.P.&rsquo;s with their wives <!-- page 121--><a name="page121"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 121</span>(two
+Liberal Imperialists, two Liberal Unionists, and one real Radical),
+a Scotch peer with his wife and an Irish peer without one; a publisher
+and his wife; three Academicians; four journalists; an Irish poet, a
+horse-dealer, a picture-dealer, another stockbroker, an artist, two
+lady novelists, a baronet and his wife, three musicians; and Myself.&nbsp;
+I think the only point on which the sincerity of the voting might be
+doubted, is the ominous absence of any soldier&rsquo;s name on the list.&nbsp;
+Lord Lyonesse, however, is a firm upholder of the Hague Conference:
+like myself, he is a pro-Boer, but he will not allow any reference to
+military affairs, and I suspect that it was out of deference to his
+wishes that the guests all abstained from writing down some names of
+our gallant generals.&nbsp; Lord Kitchener, however, obtained nine votes,
+and I myself included Christian De Wet; but on discovery of documents
+he was ruled out, in spite of my pleading for him on imperialistic grounds.&nbsp;
+I thought it rather insular, too, I must confess, that Mr. Henry James
+and Mr. Sargent were denied to me because they are American subjects.&nbsp;
+My own final list, as pasted in the <!-- page 122--><a name="page122"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 122</span>Album
+at Ivanhoe, along with others, was as follows:</p>
+<p>H. G. Wells.</p>
+<p>C. H. Shannon.</p>
+<p>Bernard Shaw.</p>
+<p>Thomas Hardy.</p>
+<p>Lord Northcliffe.</p>
+<p>Edmund Gosse.</p>
+<p>Andrew Lang.</p>
+<p>Oliver Lodge.</p>
+<p>Dom Gasquet.</p>
+<p>Reginald Turner.</p>
+<p>Mine, of course, is the choice of a recluse: a scholar without scholarship,
+one who lives remote from politics, newspapers, society, and the merry-go-round
+of modern life.&nbsp; Its two chief interests lie in showing, first
+how far off I was from getting the prize (a vellum copy of poems, by
+our hostess), and secondly, that one name only, that of Lord Northcliffe,
+should have touched both the popular and the private imagination!&nbsp;
+I regret to say that none of the guests knew the names of Dom Gasquet
+or Sir Oliver Lodge.&nbsp; Every one, except the artist, thought C.
+H. Shannon was J. J. Shannon, and some of the voters were hardly convinced
+that Mr. Lang was still an ornament to contemporary literature.&nbsp;
+The prize was awarded to a lady whose list most nearly corresponded
+to the result of the general plebiscite.&nbsp; I need not say she <!-- page 123--><a name="page123"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 123</span>was
+the wife of the publisher.&nbsp; After some suitable expressions from
+Lord Lyonesse, it was suggested that we should poll the servants&rsquo;
+hall.&nbsp; Pencils and paper were provided and the butler was sent
+for.&nbsp; An hour was given for the election, and at half-past eleven
+the ballot papers were brought in on a massive silver tray discreetly
+covered with a red silk pocket-handkerchief, and here is the result:</p>
+<p>Frank Richardson.</p>
+<p>Marie Corelli.</p>
+<p>John Roberts.</p>
+<p>C. B. Fry.</p>
+<p>Eustace Miles.</p>
+<p>Robert Hichens.</p>
+<p>T. P. O&rsquo;Connor.</p>
+<p>Lord Lyonesse.</p>
+<p>Dr. Williams (Pink Pills for Pale People).</p>
+<p>Hall Caine.</p>
+<p>The prize (and this is another odd coincidence) was won by the butler
+himself, to whom, very generously, the publisher&rsquo;s wife resigned
+the vellum copy of our hostess&rsquo;s poems.&nbsp; From a literary
+point of view, it is interesting to note that Mr. Frank Richardson is
+the only master of <i>belles lettres</i> who is appreciated in the servants&rsquo;
+hall!&nbsp; The other names we associate, rightly or wrongly, with something
+other than literature.</p>
+<p>The following evening I suggested choosing <!-- page 124--><a name="page124"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 124</span>the
+greatest English names in the nineteenth century (twentieth-century
+life being strictly excluded).&nbsp; Every one by this time had caught
+the <i>suck-pencil</i> fever.&nbsp; By general consent the suffrage
+was extended to the domestics: the electorate being thus one hundred.&nbsp;
+And what, you will ask, came of it all?&nbsp; I suggest that readers
+should guess.&nbsp; Any one interested should fill up, cut out, and
+send this coupon to my own publisher on April the first.</p>
+<p><i>I think the Ten Greatest Englishmen of the Nineteenth Century
+were</i>:</p>
+<p>1 . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>2&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>3&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>4&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>5&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>6&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>7&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>8&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>9&nbsp; . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>10 . . . . . . . . . .</p>
+<p>A prize, consisting of a copy of <i>Books of To-Day and Books of
+To-Morrow</i>, will be awarded for the best shot.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 125--><a name="page125"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 125</span>MR.
+BENSON&rsquo;S &lsquo;PATER.&rsquo;</h2>
+<p>In no other country has mediocrity such a chance as in England.&nbsp;
+The second-rate writer, the second-rate painter meets with an almost
+universal and immediate recognition.&nbsp; When good mediocrities die,
+if they do not go straight to heaven (from a country where the existence
+of Purgatory is denied by Act of Parliament), at least they run a very
+fair chance of burial in Westminster Abbey.&nbsp; &lsquo;De mortuis
+nil nisi <i>bonus</i>,&rsquo; in the shape of royalties, is the real
+test by which we estimate the authors who have just passed away.&nbsp;
+A few of our great writers&mdash;Ruskin and Tennyson, for example&mdash;have
+enjoyed the applause accorded to senility by a people usually timid
+of brilliancy and strength, when it is contemporary.&nbsp; The ruins
+of mental faculties touch our imagination, owing, perhaps, to that tenderness
+for antiquity which has preserved for us the remains of Tintern Abbey.&nbsp;
+Seldom, however, does a great writer live to <!-- page 126--><a name="page126"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 126</span>find
+himself, in the prime of his literary existence, a component part of
+English literature.&nbsp; Yet there are happy exceptions, and not the
+least of these was Walter Pater.</p>
+<p>His inclusion in the <i>English Men of Letters</i> series, so soon
+after his death, somewhat dazzled the reviewers.&nbsp; Mr. Benson was
+complimented on a daring which, if grudgingly endorsed, is treated as
+just the sort of innovation you would expect from the brother of the
+author of <i>Dodo</i>.&nbsp; &lsquo;To a small soul the age which has
+borne it can appear only an age of small souls,&rsquo; says Swinburne,
+and the presence of Pater, which rose so strangely beside our waters,
+seemed to many of his contemporaries only the last sob of a literature
+which they sincerely believed came to an end with Lord Macaulay.</p>
+<p>It was a fortunate chance by which Mr. A. C. Benson, one of our more
+discerning critics, himself master of no mean style, should have been
+chosen as commentator of Pater.&nbsp; Among the plutarchracy of the
+present day a not very pretty habit prevails of holding a sort of inquest
+on deceased writers&mdash;a reaction against misplaced eulogy&mdash;tearing
+them <!-- page 127--><a name="page127"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 127</span>and
+their works to pieces, and leaving nothing for reviewers or posterity
+to dissipate.&nbsp; From the author of the <i>Upton Letters</i> we expect
+sympathy and critical acumen.&nbsp; It is needless to say we are never
+disappointed.&nbsp; His book is not merely about a literary man: it
+is a work of literature itself.&nbsp; So it is charming to disagree
+with Mr. Benson sometimes, and a triumph to find him tripping.&nbsp;
+You experience the pleasure of the University Extension lecturer pointing
+out the mistakes in Shakespeare&rsquo;s geography, the joy of the schoolboy
+when the master has made a false quantity.&nbsp; In marking the modern
+discoveries which have shattered, not the value of Pater&rsquo;s criticisms,
+but the authenticity of pictures round which he wove his aureoles of
+prose, Mr. Benson says: &lsquo;In the essay on Botticelli he is on firmer
+ground.&rsquo;&nbsp; But among the first masterpieces winged by the
+sportsmen of the new criticism was the Hamilton Palace &lsquo;Assumption
+of the Virgin&rsquo; (now proved to be by Botticini), to which Pater
+makes one of his elusive and delightful allusions.&nbsp; While the &lsquo;<i>School
+of Giorgione</i>,&rsquo; which Mr. Benson thinks a little <i>pass&eacute;</i>
+in the light of modern <!-- page 128--><a name="page128"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 128</span>research
+is now in the movement.&nbsp; The latest bulletins of Giorgione, Pater
+would have been delighted to hear, are highly satisfactory.&nbsp; Pictures
+once torn from the altars of authenticity are being reinstated under
+the acolytage of Mr. Herbert Cook.&nbsp; A curious and perhaps wilful
+error, too, has escaped Mr. Benson&rsquo;s notice.&nbsp; Referring to
+the tomb of Cardinal Jacopo at San Miniato, Pater says, &lsquo;insignis
+forma fui&mdash;his epitaph dares to say;&rsquo; the inscription reads
+<i>fuit</i>.&nbsp; But perhaps the <i>t</i> was added by the Italian
+Government out of Reference to the English residents in Florence, and
+the word read <i>fui</i> in 1871.&nbsp; <i>Troja fuit</i> might be written
+all over Florence.</p>
+<p>Then some of the architecture at Vezelay &lsquo;typical of Cluniac
+sculpture&rsquo; is pure Viollet-le-Duc, I am assured by a competent
+authority.&nbsp; A more serious error of Pater&rsquo;s, for it is adjectival,
+not a fact, occurs in <i>Apollo in Picardy</i>&mdash;&lsquo;<i>rebellious</i>
+masses of black hair.&rsquo;&nbsp; This is the only instance in the
+<i>parfait prosateur</i>, as Bourget called him, of a clich&eacute;
+worthy of the &lsquo;Spectator.&rsquo;&nbsp; Then it is possible to
+differ from Mr. Benson in his criticism of the <i>Imaginary Portraits</i>
+(the four fair ovals <!-- page 129--><a name="page129"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 129</span>in
+one volume), surely Pater&rsquo;s most exquisite achievement after the
+<i>Renaissance</i>.&nbsp; <i>Gaston</i> is the failure Pater thought
+it was, and <i>Emerald Uthwart</i> is frankly very silly, though Mr.
+Benson has a curious tenderness for it.&nbsp; One sentence he abandons
+as absolute folly.&nbsp; The grave psychological error in the story
+occurs where the surgeon expresses compunction at making the autopsy
+on Uthwart because of his perfect anatomy.&nbsp; Surely this would have
+been a source of technical pleasure and interest to a surgeon, much
+as a butterfly-collector is pleased when he has murdered an unusually
+fine species of lepidoptera.&nbsp; Speaking myself as a vivisector of
+some experience, I can confidently affirm that a well-bred golden collie
+is far more interesting to operate upon than a mongrel sheep-dog.&nbsp;
+Nor can I comprehend Mr. Benson&rsquo;s blame of <i>Denys l&rsquo;Auxerrois</i>
+as too extravagant and even unwholesome, when the last quality, so obvious
+in <i>Uthwart</i>, he seems to condone.</p>
+<p>Again, <i>Marius the Epicurean</i> is a failure by Pater&rsquo;s
+own high standard: you would have imagined it seemed so to Mr. Benson.</p>
+<p><!-- page 130--><a name="page130"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 130</span>Dulness
+is by no means its least fault.&nbsp; In scheme it is not unlike <i>John
+Inglesant</i>; but how lifeless are the characters compared with those
+of Shorthouse.&nbsp; Both books deal with philosophic ideas and sensations;
+the incidents are merely illustrative and there is hardly a pretence
+of sequence.&nbsp; In the historical panorama which moves behind <i>Inglesant</i>,
+there are at least &lsquo;tactile&rsquo; values, and seventeenth-century
+England is conjured up in a wonderful way; how accurately I do not know.&nbsp;
+In <i>Marius</i> the background is merely a backcloth for mental <i>poses
+plastiques</i>.&nbsp; You wonder, not how still the performers are,
+but why they move at all.&nbsp; Marcus Aurelius, the delightful Lucian,
+even Flavian, and the rest, are busts from the Capitoline and Naples
+museums.&nbsp; Their bodies are make-believe, or straw from the loft
+at &lsquo;White Nights.&rsquo;&nbsp; Cornelius, Mr. Benson sorrowfully
+admits, is a Christian prig, but Marius is only a pagan chip from the
+same block.&nbsp; John Inglesant is a prig too, but there is blood in
+his veins, and you get, at all events, a Vandyck, not a plaster cast.&nbsp;
+The magnificent passages of prose which vest this image make it resemble
+<!-- page 131--><a name="page131"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 131</span>the
+<i>ex voto</i> Madonnas of continental churches&mdash;a shrine in literature
+but not a lighthouse.</p>
+<p>I sometimes wonder what Pater would have become had he been a Cambridge
+man, and if the more strenuous University might have <i>forced</i> him
+into greater sympathy with modernity; or if he had been born in America,
+as he nearly was, and Harvard acted as the benign stepmother of his
+days.&nbsp; Such speculations are not beyond all conjecture, as Sir
+Thomas Browne said.&nbsp; I think he would have been exactly the same.</p>
+<p>On the occasion of Pater&rsquo;s lecture on Prosper Merim&eacute;e,
+his friends gathered round the platform to congratulate him; he expressed
+a hope that the audience was able to hear what he said.&nbsp; &lsquo;We
+overheard you,&rsquo; said Oscar Wilde.&nbsp; &lsquo;Ah, you have a
+phrase for everything,&rsquo; replied the lecturer, the only contemporary
+who ever influenced himself, Wilde declared.&nbsp; How admirable both
+of the criticisms!&nbsp; Pater is an aside in literature, and that is
+why he was sometimes overlooked, and may be so again in ages to come.&nbsp;
+Though he is the greatest master of style the century produced, he <!-- page 132--><a name="page132"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 132</span>can
+never be regarded as part of the structure of English prose.&nbsp; He
+is, rather, one of the ornaments, which often last, long after a structure
+has perished.&nbsp; His place will be shifted, as fashions change.&nbsp;
+Like some exquisite piece of eighteenth-century furniture perchance
+he may be forgotten in the attics of literature awhile, only to be rediscovered.&nbsp;
+And as Fuseli said of Blake, &lsquo;he is damned good to steal from.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+If he uses words as though they were pigments, and sentences like vestments
+at the Mass, it is not merely the ritualistic cadence of his harmonies
+which makes his works imperishable, but the ideas which they symbolise
+and evoke.&nbsp; Pater thinks beautifully always, about things which
+some people do not think altogether beautiful, perhaps; and sometimes
+he thinks aloud.&nbsp; We overhear him, and feel almost the shame of
+the eavesdropper.</p>
+<p>Mr. Benson has approached Walter Pater, the man, with almost sacerdotal
+deference.&nbsp; He suggests ingeniously where you can find the self-revelation
+in <i>Gaston</i> and <i>The Child in the House</i>.&nbsp; This is far
+more illuminating than the recollections of personal friends <!-- page 133--><a name="page133"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 133</span>whose
+reminiscences are modelled on those of Captain Sumph.&nbsp; Mr. Humphry
+Ward remembers Pater only once being angry&mdash;it was in the Common
+Room&mdash;it was with X, an elderly man!&nbsp; The subject of the difference
+was &lsquo;modern lectures.&rsquo;&nbsp; &lsquo;Relations between them
+were afterwards strained.&rsquo;&nbsp; Mr. Arthur Symons remembers that
+he intended to bring out a new volume of <i>Imaginary Portraits</i>.&nbsp;
+Fancy that!&nbsp; Really, when friends begin to tell stories of that
+kind, I begin to suspect they are trying to conceal something.&nbsp;
+Perhaps we have no right to know everything or anything about the amazing
+personalities of literature; but Henleys and Purcells lurk and leak
+out even at Oxford; and that is not the way to silence them.&nbsp; Just
+when the aureole is ready to be fitted on, some horrid graduate (Litter&aelig;
+<i>in</i>humaniores) inks the statue.&nbsp; Anticipating something of
+the kind, Mr. Benson is careful to insist on the divergence between
+Rossetti and Pater, and on page eighty-six says something which is ludicrously
+untrue.&nbsp; If self-revelation can be traced in <i>Gaston</i>, it
+can be found elsewhere.&nbsp; There are sentences in <i>Hippolytus Veiled</i>,
+the <i>Age of the Athletic</i> <!-- page 134--><a name="page134"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 134</span><i>Prizemen</i>,
+and <i>Apollo in Picardy</i>, which not only explode Mr. Benson&rsquo;s
+suggestions, but illustrate the objections he urges against <i>Denys
+l&rsquo;Auxerrois</i>.&nbsp; They are passages where Pater thinks aloud.&nbsp;
+If Rossetti wore his heart on the sleeve, Pater&rsquo;s was just above
+the cuff, like a bangle; though it slips down occasionally in spite
+of the alb which drapes the hieratic writer not always discreetly.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 135--><a name="page135"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 135</span>SIMEON
+SOLOMON.</h2>
+<p>A good many years ago, before the Rhodes scholars invaded Oxford,
+there lingered in that home of lost causes and unpopular names, the
+afterglow of the &aelig;sthetic sunset.&nbsp; It was not a very brilliant
+period.&nbsp; Professor Mackail and Mr. Bowyer Nichols had left Balliol.&nbsp;
+Nothing was expected of either the late Sir Clinton Dawkins or Canon
+Beeching; and the authorities of Merton could form no idea where Mr.
+Beerbohm would complete his education.&nbsp; Names are more suggestive
+than dates and give less pain.&nbsp; Then, as now, there were &lsquo;cultured&rsquo;
+undergraduates, and those who were very cultured indeed, read Shelley
+and burned incense, would always have a few photographs after Simeon
+Solomon on their walls&mdash;little notes of illicit sentiment to vary
+the monotony of Burne-Jones and Botticelli.&nbsp; When uncles and aunts
+came up for Gaudys and Commem., while &lsquo;Temperantia&rsquo; and
+the &lsquo;Primavera&rsquo; <!-- page 136--><a name="page136"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 136</span>were
+left in their places, &lsquo;Love dying from the breath of Lust,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Antinous,&rsquo; and other drawings by Solomon with titles from
+the Latin Vulgate, were taken down for the occasion.&nbsp; Views of
+the sister University, Cambridge took their places, being more appropriate
+to Uncle Parker&rsquo;s and Aunt Jane&rsquo;s tastes.&nbsp; More advanced
+undergraduates, who &lsquo;knew what things were,&rsquo; possessed even
+originals.&nbsp; Now the unfortunate artist is dead his career can be
+mentioned without prejudice.</p>
+<p>Simeon Solomon was born in 1841.&nbsp; He was the third son of Michael
+Solomon, a manufacturer of Leghorn hats, and the first Jew ever admitted
+to the Freedom of London.&nbsp; The elder brother, Abraham, became a
+successful painter of popular subjects (&lsquo;Waiting for the Verdict&rsquo;
+and &lsquo;First and Third Class&rsquo;), and died on the day of his
+election to the Academy!&nbsp; Rebecca a sister who was also a painter,
+copied with success some of Millais&rsquo;s pictures.&nbsp; At the age
+of sixteen Simeon exhibited at the Academy, though beyond a short training
+at Leigh&rsquo;s Art School in Newman Street he was almost self-taught.&nbsp;
+<!-- page 137--><a name="page137"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 137</span>He
+was an early and intimate friend of the Pre-Raphaelites, with whose
+art he had much in common, though it is only for convenience that he
+is included in the school.&nbsp; Like Whistler, he was profoundly affected
+by the genius of Rossetti.&nbsp; Racial and other causes removed him
+from any real affinity to the archaistic moralatarianism of Mr. Holman
+Hunt.&nbsp; For obvious reasons the Pre-Raphaelite memoirs are silent
+about him, but Burne-Jones was said to have maintained, in after years,
+&lsquo;that he was the greatest artist of us all.&rsquo;&nbsp; Throughout
+the sixties Solomon was one of those black-and-white draughtsmen whose
+contributions to the magazines have made the period famous in English
+art.&nbsp; He found ready purchasers for his pictures and drawings,
+not only among the well-to-do Hebrew community, such as Dr. Ernest Hart,
+his brother&rsquo;s brother-in-law, but with well-known Christian collectors
+like Mr. Leathart.&nbsp; He was on intimate terms with Walter Pater,
+of whom he executed one of the only two known portraits; and in the
+<i>Greek Studies</i> will be found a graceful reference to the &lsquo;young
+Hebrew painter&rsquo; whose &lsquo;Bacchus&rsquo; at <!-- page 138--><a name="page138"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 138</span>the
+Academy obviously contributed to the &lsquo;gem-like&rsquo; flame of
+which we have heard so much.</p>
+<p>In a short-lived magazine, the <i>Dark Blue</i>, of July 1871, may
+be found a characteristic review by Swinburne of Solomon&rsquo;s strange
+rhapsody, <i>A Vision of Love Revealed in Sleep</i>, his only literary
+work, now a great rarity.&nbsp; This is the longest, and with one exception
+the most interesting, tribute to Solomon ever published.&nbsp; &lsquo;Since
+the first years of his early and brilliant celebrity as a young artist
+of high imagination, power, and promise,&rsquo; Swinburne says, &lsquo;he
+has been at work long enough to enable us to define at least certain
+salient and dominant points of his genius . . . I have heard him likened
+to Heine as a kindred Hellenist of the Hebrews; Grecian form and beauty
+divide the allegiance of his spirit with Hebrew shadow and majesty.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+It would be difficult to add anything further, in praise of the unfortunate
+artist, to the poet&rsquo;s eloquent eulogy of his friend&rsquo;s talents.&nbsp;
+An interesting piece of autobiography is afforded in the same article,
+where Swinburne tells us that his <!-- page 139--><a name="page139"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 139</span>own
+poem of &lsquo;Erotion,&rsquo; in the first series of <i>Poems and Ballads</i>,
+was written for a drawing by Simeon Solomon; and in another number of
+the same magazine there appeared &lsquo;The End of the Month,&rsquo;
+to accompany a new design of Solomon&rsquo;s, the poem appearing later
+in the second series of <i>Poems and Ballads</i>.&nbsp; Very few English
+artists&mdash;not even Millais&mdash;began life with fairer prospects.&nbsp;
+Thackeray wrote in one of the &lsquo;Roundabout Papers&rsquo; for 1860:
+&lsquo;For example, one of the pictures I admired most at the Royal
+Academy is by a gentleman on whom I never, to my knowledge, set eyes.&nbsp;
+The picture is (346) &ldquo;Moses,&rdquo; by S. Solomon.&nbsp; I thought
+it finely drawn and composed.&nbsp; It nobly represented to my mind
+the dark children of the Egyptian bondage. . . . My newspaper says:
+&ldquo;Two ludicrously ugly women, looking at a dingy baby, do not form
+a pleasing object,&rdquo; and so good-bye, Mr. S. S.&rsquo;&nbsp; This
+beautiful picture, painted when the artist was only nineteen, is now
+in the collection of Mr. W. G. Rawlinson, and was seen quite recently
+at the Franco-British Exhibition, where those familiar with his work
+considered it one of Solomon&rsquo;s masterpieces.&nbsp; <!-- page 140--><a name="page140"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 140</span>Very
+few students of Thackeray realised, however, that the painter thus singled
+out for praise formed the subject of a sordid inquest reported in the
+<i>Times</i> of August 18th, 1905.</p>
+<p>That Solomon&rsquo;s pictures were at first better known to the public
+than those of his now more famous associates is shown by Robert Buchanan
+confessing that he had scarcely seen any of their works except those
+of Solomon, which he proceeded to attack in the famous <i>The Fleshly
+School of Poetry</i>.&nbsp; As a sort of justification of the criticism,
+in the early seventies, the extraordinary artist had become a pariah.&nbsp;
+He was imprisoned for a short while, and on his release was placed in
+a private asylum by his friends.&nbsp; Scandal having subsided, since
+he showed no further signs of eccentricity, he was, by arrangement,
+sent out to post a letter in order that he might have a chance of quietly
+escaping and returning to the practice of his art.&nbsp; He returned
+to the asylum in half an hour!&mdash;a proceeding which was almost an
+evidence of insanity.&nbsp; He was subsequently officially dismissed,
+and from this time went steadily downhill, adding to <!-- page 141--><a name="page141"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 141</span>his
+other vices that of intemperance.&nbsp; Every effort was made by friends
+and relatives to reclaim him.&nbsp; Studios were taken for him, commissions
+were given him, clothes were bought for him.&nbsp; He spent his week-ends
+in the lock-up.&nbsp; Several picture-dealers tried giving him an allowance,
+but he turned up intoxicated to demand advances, and the police had
+to be called in.&nbsp; He was found selling matches in the Mile End
+Road and tried his hand at pavement decoration without much success.&nbsp;
+The companion of Walter Pater and Swinburne became the associate of
+thieves and blackmailers.&nbsp; A story is told that one afternoon he
+called for assistance at the house of a well-known artist, a former
+friend, from whom he received a generous dole.&nbsp; Observing that
+the remote neighbourhood of the place lent itself favourably to burgling
+operations, Solomon visited his benefactor the same evening in company
+with a housebreaker.&nbsp; They were studying the dining-room silver
+when they were disturbed; both were in liquor, and the noise they made
+roused the sleepers above.&nbsp; The unwilling host good-naturedly dismissed
+them!</p>
+<p><!-- page 142--><a name="page142"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 142</span>Though
+a very delightful book might be made of his life by some one who would
+not shirk the difficulties of the subject, it is unnecessary here to
+dwell further on a career which belongs to the history of morbid psychology
+rather than of painting.&nbsp; After drifting from the stream of social
+existence into a Bohemian backwater, he found himself in the main sewer.&nbsp;
+This he thoroughly enjoyed in his own particular way, and rejected fiercely
+all attempts at rescue or reform.&nbsp; To his other old friends, such
+as Burne-Jones and Sir Edward Poynter, there must have been something
+very tragic in the contemplation of his wasted talents, for few young
+painters were more successful.&nbsp; Any one curious enough to study
+his pictures will regret that he was lost to art by allowing an ill-regulated
+life to prey upon his genius.&nbsp; He had not sufficient strength to
+keep the two things separate, as Shakespeare, Verlaine, and Leonardo
+succeeded in doing.&nbsp; At the same time, it is a consolation to think
+that he enjoyed himself in his own sordid way.&nbsp; When I had the
+pleasure of seeing him last, so lately as 1893, he was extremely cheerful
+and not aggressively alcoholic.&nbsp; <!-- page 143--><a name="page143"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 143</span>Unlike
+most spoilt wastrels with the artistic temperament, he seemed to have
+no grievances, and had no bitter stories or complaints about former
+friends, no scandalous tales about contemporaries who had remained reputable;
+no indignant feeling towards those who assisted him.&nbsp; This was
+an amiable, inartistic trait in his character, though it may be a trifle
+negative; and for a positive virtue, as I say, he enjoyed his drink,
+his overpowering dirt, and his vicious life.&nbsp; He was full of delightful
+and racy stories about poets and painters, policemen and prisons, of
+which he had wide experience.&nbsp; He might have written a far more
+diverting book of memoirs than the average Pre-Raphaelite volume to
+which we look forward every year, though it is usually silent about
+poor Simeon Solomon.&nbsp; Physically he was a small, red man, with
+keen, laughing eyes.</p>
+<p>By 1887 he entirely ceased to produce work of any value.&nbsp; He
+poured out a quantity of pastels at a guinea apiece.&nbsp; They are
+repulsive and ill-drawn, with the added horror of being the shadows
+of once splendid achievements.&nbsp; Long after his name could be ever
+<!-- page 144--><a name="page144"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 144</span>mentioned
+except in whispers, Mr. Hollyer issued a series of photographs of some
+of the fine early sanguine, Indian ink, and pencil drawings.&nbsp; The
+originals are unique of their kind.&nbsp; It is very easy to detect
+the unwholesome element which has inspired many of them, even the titles
+being indicative: &lsquo;Sappho,&rsquo; &lsquo;Antinous,&rsquo; &lsquo;Amor
+Sacramentum.&rsquo;&nbsp; One of the finest, &lsquo;Love dying from
+the breath of Lust,&rsquo; of which also he painted a picture, became
+quite popular in reproduction owing to the moral which was screwed out
+of it.&nbsp; Another, of &lsquo;Dante meeting Beatrice at a Child&rsquo;s
+Party,&rsquo; is particularly fascinating.&nbsp; To the present generation
+his work is perhaps too &lsquo;literary,&rsquo; and his technique is
+by no means faultless; but the slightest drawing is informed by an idea,
+nearly always a beautiful one, however exotic.&nbsp; The faceless head
+and the headless body of shivering models dear to modern art students
+were absent from Solomon&rsquo;s designs.&nbsp; His pigments, both in
+water-colour and oils, are always harmonious, pure in tone, and rich
+without being garish.&nbsp; We need not try to frighten ourselves by
+searching too curiously for hidden meanings.&nbsp; His whole art is,
+of <!-- page 145--><a name="page145"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 145</span>course,
+unwholesome and morbid, to employ two very favourite adjectives.&nbsp;
+His work has always appealed to musicians and men of letters rather
+than collectors&mdash;to those who ask that a drawing or a picture should
+suggest an idea rather than the art of the artist.&nbsp; Subject with
+him triumphs over drawing.&nbsp; He is sometimes hopelessly crude; but
+during the sixties, when, as some one said, &lsquo;every one was a great
+artist,&rsquo; he showed considerable promise of draughtsmanship.&nbsp;
+His pictures are less fantastic than the drawings, and aim at probability,
+even when they are allegorical, or, as is too often the case, <i>odd</i>
+in sentiment.&nbsp; He is apparently never concerned with what are called
+&lsquo;problems,&rsquo; the articulation of forms, or any fidelity to
+nature beyond the human frame.&nbsp; Unlike many of the Pre-Raphaelites,
+he showed a feeling for the medium of oil.&nbsp; His friends and contemporaries,
+with the exception of Millais, and Rossetti occasionally, were always
+more at ease with water-colour or gouache, and you feel that most of
+their pictures ought to have been painted in <i>tempera</i>, the technique
+of which was not then understood.&nbsp; Since Millais was of French
+extraction, <!-- page 146--><a name="page146"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 146</span>Rossetti
+of Italian, and Solomon of Hebrew, I fear this does not get us very
+much further away from the old French criticism that the English had
+forgotten or never learnt how to paint in oil.&nbsp; It must be remembered
+that Whistler, who in the sixties achieved some of his masterpieces,
+was an American.</p>
+<p>It is strange that Solomon did not allow a sordid existence to alter
+the trend of his subjects, for these are always derived from poetry
+and the Bible, or from Catholic, Jewish, or Greek Orthodox ritual&mdash;a
+strange contrast to the respectable, impeccable painter, M. Degas, the
+doyen of European art, nationalist and anti-Semite, who finds beauty
+only in brasseries, in the vulgar circus, and in the ghastly wings of
+the opera.&nbsp; How far removed from his surroundings are the inspirations
+of the artist!&nbsp; I believe J. F. Millet would have painted peasants
+if he had been born and spent his days in the centre of New York.&nbsp;
+With the life-long friend of M. Degas&mdash;Gustave Moreau&mdash;Solomon
+had much in common, but the colour of the English Hebrew is much finer,
+and his themes are less monotonous.&nbsp; I can imagine many people
+being repelled by <!-- page 147--><a name="page147"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 147</span>this
+troubled introspective art, especially at the present day.&nbsp; There
+is hardly room for an inverted Watts.&nbsp; At the same time, even those
+who from age and training cannot take a sentimental interest in faded
+rose-leaves, whose perfume is a little overpowering, may care to explore
+an interesting byway of art.&nbsp; For poor Solomon there was no place
+in life.&nbsp; Casting reality aside, he stepped back into the riotous
+pages of Petronius.&nbsp; Perhaps on the Paris boulevards, with Verlaine
+and Bibi la Pur&eacute;e, he might have enjoyed a distinct artistic
+individuality.&nbsp; Expeditions conducted by Mr. Arthur Symons might
+have been organized in order to view him at some popular caf&eacute;.&nbsp;
+Mr. George Moore might have written about him.&nbsp; But in respectable
+London he was quite impossible.&nbsp; In the temple of Art, which is
+less Calvinistic than artists would have us suppose, he will always
+have his niche.&nbsp; To the future English Vasari he will be a real
+gold-mine.</p>
+<p>(1905.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 148--><a name="page148"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 148</span>AUBREY
+BEARDSLEY.</h2>
+<p>Middle-aged, middle-class people, with a predilection for medi&aelig;val
+art, still believe that subject is an important factor in a picture
+or drawing.&nbsp; I am one of the number.&nbsp; The subject need not
+be literary or historical.&nbsp; After you have discussed in the latest
+studio jargon its carpentry, valued the tones and toned the values,
+motive or theme must affect your appreciation of a picture, your desire,
+or the contrary, to possess it.&nbsp; That the artist is able to endow
+the unattractive, and woo you to surrender, I admit.&nbsp; Unless, however,
+you are a pro-Boer in art matters, and hold that Rembrandt and the Boer
+school (the greatest technicians who ever lived) are finer artists than
+Titian, you will find yourself preferring Gainsborough to Degas, and
+the unskilful Whistler to the more accomplished Edouard Manet.&nbsp;
+Long ago French critics invented an &aelig;sthetic formula to conceal
+that poverty of imagination <!-- page 149--><a name="page149"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 149</span>which
+sometimes stares from their perfectly executed pictures, and this was
+eagerly accepted by certain Englishmen, both painters and writers.&nbsp;
+Yet, when an artist frankly deals with forbidden subjects, the canons
+regular of English art begin to thunder; the critics forget their French
+accent; the old Robert Adam, which is in all of us, asserts himself;
+we fly for the fig-leaves.</p>
+<p>I am led to these reflections by the memory of Aubrey Beardsley,
+and the reception which his work received, not from the British public,
+but from the inner circle of advanced intellectuals.&nbsp; Too much
+occupied with the obstetrics of art, his superfluity of naughtiness
+has tarnished his niche in the temple of fame.&nbsp; &lsquo;A wish to
+<i>&eacute;pater le bourgeois</i>,&rsquo; says Mr. Arthur Symons, &lsquo;is
+a natural one.&rsquo;&nbsp; I do not think so; at least, in an artist.&nbsp;
+Now much of Beardsley&rsquo;s work shows the <i>&eacute;blouissement</i>
+of the burgess on arriving at Montmartre for the first time&mdash;a
+weakness he shared with some of his contemporaries.&nbsp; This must
+be conceded in praising a great artist for a line which he never drew,
+after you have taken the immortal Zero&rsquo;s advice and divested yourself
+of the scruples.</p>
+<p><!-- page 150--><a name="page150"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 150</span>&lsquo;I
+would rather be an Academician than an artist,&rsquo; said Aubrey Beardsley
+to me one day.&nbsp; &lsquo;It takes thirty-nine men to make an Academician,
+and only one to make an artist.&rsquo;&nbsp; In that sneer lay all his
+weakness and his strength.&nbsp; Grave friends (in those days it was
+the fashion) talked to him of &lsquo;Dame Nature.&rsquo;&nbsp; &lsquo;<i>Damn
+Nature</i>!&rsquo; retorted Aubrey Beardsley, and pulled down the blinds
+and worked by gaslight on the finest days.&nbsp; But he was a real Englishman,
+who from his glass-house peppered the English public.&nbsp; No Latin
+could have contrived his arabesque.&nbsp; The grotesques of Jerome Bosch
+are positively pleasant company beside many of Beardsley&rsquo;s inventions.&nbsp;
+Even in his odd little landscapes, with their twisted promontories sloping
+seaward, he suggested mocking laughter; and the flowers of &lsquo;Under
+the Hill&rsquo; are cackling in the grass.</p>
+<p>An essay, which Mr. Arthur Symons published in 1897, has always been
+recognised as far the most sympathetic and introspective account of
+this strange artist&rsquo;s work.&nbsp; It has been reissued, with additional
+illustrations, by Messrs. Dent.&nbsp; Those who welcome it as one of
+the most inspiring criticisms from an always <!-- page 151--><a name="page151"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 151</span>inspired
+critic, will regret that eight of the illustrations belong to the worst
+period of Beardsley&rsquo;s art.&nbsp; Kelmscott dyspepsia following
+on a surfeit of Burne-Jones, belongs to the pathology of style; it is
+a phase that should be produced by the prosecution, not by the eloquent
+advocate for the defence.&nbsp; Moreover, I do not believe Mr. Arthur
+Symons admires them any more than I do; he never mentions them in his
+text.&nbsp; &lsquo;Le D&eacute;bris d&rsquo;un Po&egrave;te,&rsquo;
+the &lsquo;Coiffing,&rsquo; &lsquo;Chopin&rsquo;s Third Ballad,&rsquo;
+and those for <i>Salome</i> would have sufficed.&nbsp; With these omissions
+the monograph might have been smaller; but it would have been more truly
+representative of Beardsley&rsquo;s genius and Mr. Arthur Symons&rsquo;s
+taste.</p>
+<p>At one time or another every one has been brilliant about Beardsley.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;Born Puck, he died Pierrot,&rsquo; said Mr. MacColl in one of
+the superb phrases with which he gibbets into posterity an art or an
+artist he rather dislikes.&nbsp; &lsquo;The Fra Angelico of Satanism,&rsquo;
+wrote Mr. Roger Fry of an exhibition of the drawings.&nbsp; There seems
+hardly anything left even for Mr. Arthur Symons to write.&nbsp; Long
+<!-- page 152--><a name="page152"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 152</span>anterior
+to these particular fireworks, however, his criticism is just as fresh
+as it was twelve years ago.&nbsp; I believe it will always remain the
+terminal essay.</p>
+<p>The preface has been revised, and I could have wished for some further
+revision.&nbsp; Why is the name of Leonard Smithers&mdash;here simply
+called <i>a</i> publisher&mdash;omitted, when the other Capulets and
+Montagus are faithfully recorded?&nbsp; When no one would publish Beardsley&rsquo;s
+work, Smithers stepped into the breach.&nbsp; I do not know that the
+<i>Savoy</i> exactly healed the breach between Beardsley and the public,
+but it gave the artist another opportunity; and Mr. Arthur Symons an
+occasion for song.&nbsp; Leonard Smithers, too, was the most delightful
+and irresponsible publisher I ever knew.&nbsp; Who remembers without
+a kindly feeling the little shop in the Royal Arcade with its tempting
+shelves; its limited editions of <i>5000</i> copies; the shy, infrequent
+purchaser; the upstairs room where the roar of respectable Bond Street
+came faintly through the tightly-closed windows; the genial proprietor?&nbsp;
+In the closing years of the nineteenth century his silhouette reels
+(my <!-- page 153--><a name="page153"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 153</span>metaphor
+is drawn from a Terpsichorean and Caledonian exercise) across an artistic
+horizon of which the <i>Savoy</i> was the afterglow.&nbsp; Again, why
+is Mr. Arthur Symons so precise about forgetting the date of Beardsley&rsquo;s
+expulsion from the <i>Yellow Book</i>?&nbsp; It was in April 1895, April
+10th.&nbsp; A number of poets and writers blackmailed Mr. Lane by threatening
+to withdraw their own publications unless the Beardsley Body was severed
+from the Bodley Head.&nbsp; I am glad to have this opportunity, not
+only of paying a tribute to the courage of my late friend Smithers,
+but of defending my other good friend, Mr. John Lane, from the absurd
+criticism of which he was too long the victim.&nbsp; He could hardly
+be expected to wreck a valuable business in the cause of unpopular art.&nbsp;
+Quite wrongly Beardsley&rsquo;s designs had come to be regarded as the
+pictorial and sympathetic expression of a decadent tendency in English
+literature.&nbsp; But if there was any relation thereto, it was that
+of Juvenal towards Roman Society.&nbsp; Never was mordant satire more
+evident.&nbsp; If Beardsley is carried away in spite of himself by the
+superb invention of <i>Salome</i>, he never forgets his <!-- page 154--><a name="page154"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 154</span>hatred
+of its author.&nbsp; It is characteristic that he hammered beauty from
+the gold he would have battered into caricature.&nbsp; <i>Salome</i>
+has survived other criticism and other caricature.&nbsp; And Mr. Lane
+once informed an American interviewer that since that April Fool&rsquo;s
+Day poetry has ceased to sell altogether.&nbsp; The bards unconsciously
+committed suicide; and the <i>Yellow Book</i> perished in the odour
+of sanctity.</p>
+<p>Recommending the perusal of some letters (written by Beardsley to
+an unnamed friend) published some years ago, Mr. Arthur Symons says:
+&lsquo;Here, too, we are in the presence of the real thing.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+I venture to doubt this.&nbsp; I do not doubt Beardsley&rsquo;s sincerity
+in the religion he embraced, but his expression of it in the letters.&nbsp;
+At least, I hope it was insincere.&nbsp; The letters left on some of
+us a disagreeable impression, at least of the recipient.&nbsp; You wonder
+if this pietistic friend received a copy of the <i>Lysistrata</i> along
+with the eulogy of St. Alfonso Liguori and Aphra Behn.&nbsp; A fescennine
+temperament is too often allied with religiosity.&nbsp; It certainly
+was in Beardsley&rsquo;s case, but I think the other <!-- page 155--><a name="page155"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 155</span>and
+stronger side of his character should, in justice to his genius, be
+insisted upon, as Mr. Arthur Symons insisted upon it.&nbsp; If we knew
+that the ill-advised and unnamed friend was the author of certain pseudo-scientific
+and pornographic works issued in Paris, we should be better able to
+gauge the unimportance of these letters.&nbsp; Far more interesting
+would have been those written to Mr. Joseph Pennell, one of the saner
+influences; or those to Aubrey Beardsley&rsquo;s mother and sister.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;It was at Arques,&rsquo; says Mr. Arthur Symons . . . &lsquo;that
+I had the only serious, almost solemn conversation I ever had with Beardsley.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+You can scarcely believe that any of the conversations between the two
+were other than serious and solemn, because he approaches Beardsley
+as he would John Bunyan or Aquinas.&nbsp; Art, literature and life,
+are all to this engaging writer a scholiast&rsquo;s pilgrim&rsquo;s
+progress.&nbsp; Beside him, Walter Pater, from whom he derives, seems
+almost flippant&mdash;and to have dallied too long in the streets of
+Vanity Fair.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 156--><a name="page156"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 156</span>ENGLISH
+&AElig;STHETICS.</h2>
+<p>The law reports in newspapers contain perhaps the only real history
+of England that has any relation to truth.&nbsp; Here, too, may be found
+indications of current thought, more pregnant than the observations
+of historians.&nbsp; They still afford material for the future short
+or longer history of the English people by the John Richard Greens of
+posterity.&nbsp; This was brought home to me by perusing two cases reported
+in the <i>Morning Post</i>, that of Mrs. Rita Marsh and the disputed
+will of Miss Browne.&nbsp; I yield to no one in my ignorance of English
+law, but I have seldom read judgments which seemed so conspicuously
+unfair, so characteristic of the precise minimum of &aelig;sthetic perception
+in the English people.</p>
+<p>The hostelries of Great Britain are famous for their high charges,
+their badly-kept rooms, and loathsome cooking; let me add, their warm
+welcome.&nbsp; In the reign of Edward III. there <!-- page 157--><a name="page157"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 157</span>was
+legislation on the subject.&nbsp; The colder and cheaper hospitality
+of the Continent strikes a chill, I am sometimes told by those familiar
+with both.&nbsp; The hotel selected by a certain Mrs. Rita Marsh was
+no exception to the ordinary English caravanserai.&nbsp; It was &lsquo;replete
+with every comfort.&rsquo;&nbsp; The garden contained an <i>oubliette</i>,
+down which Mrs. Marsh, while walking in the evening, inadvertently fell.&nbsp;
+On the Continent the <i>oubliettes</i> are inside the house, and you
+are ostentatiously warned of their immediate neighbourhood.&nbsp; These
+things are managed better in France, if I may say so without offending
+Tariff Reformers.</p>
+<p>The accident disfigured Mrs. Marsh for life; and for the loss of
+unusual personal attractions an English jury awarded her only 500<i>l</i>.&nbsp;
+The judge made a joke about it.&nbsp; Mr. Gill was very playful about
+her photograph, and every one, except, I imagine, Mrs. Marsh, seems
+to have been satisfied that ample justice was done.&nbsp; The hotel
+proprietors did not press their counter-claim for a bill of 191<i>l</i>.!&nbsp;
+Chivalrous fellows!&nbsp; Still, I can safely say that in France Mrs.
+Marsh would have been awarded at least four times that amount; though
+if she had <!-- page 158--><a name="page158"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 158</span>been
+murdered the proprietors would have only been fined forty francs.&nbsp;
+But beauty to its fortunate possessors is more valuable than life itself,
+and the story is to me one of the most pathetic I have ever heard.&nbsp;
+To the English mind there is something irresistibly comic when any one
+falls, morally or physically.&nbsp; It is the basis of English Farce.&nbsp;
+Jokes made about those who have never fallen, &lsquo;too great to appease,
+too high to appal,&rsquo; are voted bad taste.&nbsp; Caricaturists of
+the mildest order are considered irreligious and vulgar if they burlesque,
+say, the Archbishop of Canterbury for example; or unpatriotic if they
+hint that Lord Roberts did not really finish the Boer War when he professed
+to have done so.&nbsp; After Parnell came to grief I remember the Drury
+Lane pantomime was full of fire-escapes, and every allusion to the <i>cause
+c&eacute;l&egrave;bre</i> produced roars of laughter.&nbsp; Mr. Justice
+Bigham was only a thorough Englishman when he gently rallied the jury
+for awarding, as he obviously thought, excessive damages.&nbsp; So little
+is beauty esteemed in England.</p>
+<p>The case of Miss Browne was also singular.&nbsp; She left a trust
+fund &lsquo;for the erection of an <!-- page 159--><a name="page159"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 159</span>ornamental
+structure of Gothic design, such as a market cross, tall clock, street
+lamp-stand, or all combined, in a central part of London, the plan whereof
+shall be offered for open competition, and ultimately decided upon by
+the Royal Institute of British Architects.&rsquo;&nbsp; The President
+of the Probate Division said <i>he was satisfied that Miss Browne was
+not of sound mind, and pronounced against the will</i>, with costs out
+of the estate.&nbsp; I wonder what the Royal Institute thinks of this
+legal testimonial.&nbsp; It seems almost a pity that some one did not
+dispute Sir Francis Chantrey&rsquo;s will years ago on similar grounds.&nbsp;
+I suggest to Mr. MacColl that it might still be upset.&nbsp; That would
+settle once and for all the question whether the administration of the
+bequest has evinced evidence of insanity or not.&nbsp; A recent Royal
+Commission left the matter undecided.&nbsp; I do not, however, wish
+to criticise trustees, but to defend the memory of Miss Browne (who
+may have been eccentric in private life) from such a charge, because
+her testamentary dispositions were a trifle &aelig;sthetic.&nbsp; The
+will was un-English in one respect: &lsquo;<i>no inscription of my name
+shall <!-- page 160--><a name="page160"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 160</span>be
+placed on such erection</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp; Was that the clause which
+proved her hopelessly mad?&nbsp; The erection was to be Gothic.&nbsp;
+I know Gothic is out of fashion just now.&nbsp; Ruskin is quite over;
+the Seven Lamps exploded long ago; but Miss Browne seems to have attended
+before her death Mr. MacColl&rsquo;s lectures, knew all about &lsquo;masses&rsquo;
+and &lsquo;tones&rsquo; in architecture, and wished particular stress
+to be laid on &lsquo;the general outline as seen from a good distance.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+This is greeted by some of the papers as particularly side-splitting
+and eccentric.&nbsp; Looking at the unlovely streets of London, never
+one of the more beautiful cities of Europe, where each new building
+seems contrived to go one better in sheer <i>uglitude</i> (especially
+since builders of Tube stations have ventured into the Vitruvian arena),
+you can easily suppose that poor Miss Browne, with her views about &lsquo;general
+outlines seen from a good distance,&rsquo; must have appeared hopelessly
+insane.&nbsp; The decision of the court is not likely to encourage any
+further public bequests of this kind.&nbsp; I have cut the British Museum
+and the National Gallery out of my own will already.&nbsp; And I understand
+why Mr. MacColl, <!-- page 161--><a name="page161"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 161</span>with
+his passionate pleading for a living national architecture, for official
+recognition of past and present English art, is thought by many good
+people quite odd.&nbsp; How he managed to attract the notice of any
+but the Lunacy Commissioners I cannot conceive.&nbsp; Valued critic,
+admired artist, model keeper, I only hope he will attract no further
+attention.</p>
+<p>Since it is clear that the law assists in blackening reputations
+even in the grave, I claim that other Miss Brownes who take advantage
+of life, and time by the forelock to put up monuments in the sufficiently
+hideous thoroughfares should be pronounced <i>non compos mentis</i>.&nbsp;
+The perpetrators of the erection in High Street, Kensington, hard by
+St. Mary Abbots, may serve as an example.&nbsp; Inconvenient, vulgar,
+inapposite, this should debar even the subscribers from obtaining probate
+for their wills.&nbsp; I invoke posthumous revenge, and claim that at
+least 500<i>l</i>. damages should be paid as compensation to the nearest
+hospital for the <i>indignant</i> blind, as my friend Mr. Vincent O&rsquo;Sullivan
+calls them in one of his delightful stories.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 162--><a name="page162"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 162</span>NON
+ANGELI SED ANGLI.</h2>
+<p>I wish that the Rokeby Velasquez now firmly secured for the British
+nation could have been allowed to remain in Bond Street for a short
+while; not to tantalise the foreign countries who so eagerly competed
+for its acquisition, nor to emphasise the patriotism of its former owners,
+but as a contrast to &lsquo;Some Examples of the Independent Art of
+To-day,&rsquo; held at Messrs. Agnew&rsquo;s.&nbsp; Perhaps not as a
+contrast even, but as a complement.&nbsp; I do not mean to place all
+the examples on the same level with the &lsquo;Venus,&rsquo; though
+with some I should have preferred to live; yet the juxtaposition would
+have asserted the tradition of the younger painters and the modernity
+of the older master.&nbsp; &lsquo;We are all going to&mdash;Agnew&rsquo;s,
+and Velasquez will be of the company,&rsquo; or something like Gainsborough&rsquo;s
+dying words would have occurred sooner or later.&nbsp; I am persuaded
+that we look at the ancient pictures with frosted magnifying-glasses,
+<!-- page 163--><a name="page163"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 163</span>and
+stare at the younger men from the wrong end of the binoculars.&nbsp;
+It was ever thus; it always will be so.&nbsp; Most of us suspect our
+contemporaries or juniors.&nbsp; And they&mdash;<i>les jeunes f&eacute;roces</i>&mdash;are
+impatient of their immediate predecessors.&nbsp; <i>Nos p&egrave;res
+out toujours tort</i>.&nbsp; Though grandpapa is sometimes quite picturesque;
+his waistcoat and old buttons suit us very well.&nbsp; &lsquo;Your Raphael
+is not even divine,&rsquo; said Velasquez when he left Rome and that
+wonderful <i>p.p.c</i>. card on the Doria.&nbsp; &lsquo;Your Academicians
+are not even academic,&rsquo; some of the younger painters and their
+champions are saying to-day.</p>
+<p>I found, moreover, the epithet &lsquo;independent,&rsquo; to qualify
+an entertaining and significant exhibition, misleading.&nbsp; For many
+of the items could only be so classified in the sense that they were
+independent of Messrs. Agnew and the Royal Academy.&nbsp; Mr. Tonks
+and Professor Brown are official instructors at the Slade School in
+London; Mr. C. J. Holmes is Keeper of the National Portrait Gallery.&nbsp;
+Mr. Gerard Chowne was a professor at Liverpool.&nbsp; Mr. Fry is now
+an official at New York; and the majority of the painters belonged to
+two <!-- page 164--><a name="page164"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 164</span>distinctive
+and <i>dependent</i> groups&mdash;the Glasgow School and the New English
+Art Club.&nbsp; Intense individualism is not incompatible with militant
+collectivism.&nbsp; The only independent artists, if you except Mr.
+Nicholson, were Mr. C. H. Shannon and Mr. Charles Ricketts, who have
+always stood apart, being neither for the Royal Academy nor its enemies;
+their choice is in their pictures.</p>
+<p>I feel it difficult to write of painters for some of whom I acted
+showman so long at the Carfax Gallery.&nbsp; I confess that when I heard
+they were going to Bond Street my pangs were akin to those of the owner
+of a small country circus on learning that his troupe of performing
+dogs had been engaged by Mr. Imre Kiralfy or the Hippodrome.&nbsp; A
+quondam dealer in ultramontanes, I became an Othello of the trade.&nbsp;
+And in their grander quarters (I grieve to say) they looked better than
+ever, though I would have chosen another background, something less
+expensive and more severe.&nbsp; Yes, they all went through their hoops
+gracefully.&nbsp; With one exception, I never saw finer Wilson Steers;
+the &lsquo;Sunset&rsquo; might well be hung beside the new Turners,
+when <!-- page 165--><a name="page165"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 165</span>the
+gulf between ancient and modern art would be almost imperceptible.&nbsp;
+The &lsquo;Aliens&rsquo; of Mr. Rothenstein in the cosmopolitan society
+of a public picture gallery would hardly appear foreigners, because
+they belong to a country where the inhabitants are racy of every one
+else&rsquo;s soil.&nbsp; When time has given an added dignity (if that
+were possible) to this work, I can realise how our descendants will
+laugh at our lachrymose observations on the decadence of art.&nbsp;
+The background against which the stately Hebrew figures are silhouetted
+is in itself a liberal education for the aged and those who ask their
+friends what these modern fellows mean.</p>
+<p>When the inhabitants of the unceltiferous portion of these islands
+employ the adjective <i>un-English</i> you may be sure there is something
+serious on the carpet.&nbsp; It is valedictory, expressive of sorrow
+and contempt rather than anger.&nbsp; All the other old favourites of
+vituperative must have missed fire before this almost sacred, disqualifying
+Podsnappianism is applied to the objectionable person, picture, book,
+behaviour, or movement.&nbsp; And when the epithet is brought into action,
+in nine cases <!-- page 166--><a name="page166"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 166</span>out
+of ten it is aimed at some characteristic essentially, often blatantly,
+Anglo-Saxon.&nbsp; Throughout the nineteenth century all exponents of
+art and literature not conforming to Fleet Street ideals were voted
+un-English; Byron, Shelley, Keats, Swinburne, the Pre-Raphaelites, and,
+in course of good time, those artists who formed the New English Art
+Club.&nbsp; There was some ground for suspicion of foreign intrigue.&nbsp;
+They regarded Mr. Whistler, an American, who flirted with French impressionism,
+as a pioneer.&nbsp; Some of their names suggest the magic Orient or
+the romantic scenery of the Rhine.&nbsp; But it is not extravagant to
+assert that if Mr. Rothenstein had chosen to be born in France or Germany,
+instead of in Bradford, his art would have come to us in another form.&nbsp;
+In his strength and his weakness he is more English than the English.&nbsp;
+Art may have cosmopolitan relations (it is usually a hybrid), but it
+must take on the features of the country and people where it grows;
+or it may change them, or change the vision of the people of its adoption.&nbsp;
+Yet Ruth must not look too foreign in the alien corn, or her values
+will get wrong.&nbsp; <!-- page 167--><a name="page167"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 167</span>When
+an English artist airs his foreign accent and his smattering of French
+pigment his work has no permanent significance.&nbsp; Even Professor
+Legros unconsciously assimilated British subjectivity: his Latin rein
+has been slackened; his experiments are often literary.</p>
+<p>It is an error however to regard the exhibitions of the New English
+Art Club as a homogeneous movement, such as that of Barbizon and the
+Pre-Raphaelite&mdash;inspired by a single idea or similar group of ideas.&nbsp;
+The members have not even the cohesion of Glasgow or defunct Newlyn.&nbsp;
+The only thing they have in common, in common originally with Glasgow,
+was a distaste for the tenets and ideals of Burlington House.&nbsp;
+The serpent (or was it the animated rod?) of the Academy soon swallowed
+the sentimentalities of Newlyn, just as the International boa-constrictor
+made short work of Glasgow.&nbsp; And the forbidden fruit of an official
+Eden has tempted many members of the Club.&nbsp; Others have resigned
+from time to time, but with no ill result&mdash;to the Club.&nbsp; Now,
+the reason for this is that the members have no dependence on each other,
+except for the executive organization <!-- page 168--><a name="page168"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 168</span>of
+Mr. Francis Bate.&nbsp; It may be doubted if in their heart of hearts
+they admire each other&rsquo;s works.&nbsp; They are intense individualists
+(personal friends, maybe, in private life) artistically speaking, on
+terms of cutting acquaintance at the Slade.</p>
+<p>The mannerism of Professor Legros is still, of course, a common denominator
+for the older men, and the younger artists evince a familiarity with
+drawing unusual in England, due to the admirable training of Professor
+Brown and Mr. Henry Tonks.&nbsp; The Spartan Mr. Tonks may not be able
+to make geniuses, but he has the faculty of turning out efficient workmen.&nbsp;
+Whether they become members of the Club or drift into the haven of Burlington
+House, at all events they <i>can</i> fly and wear their aureoles with
+propriety.&nbsp; A society, however, which contains such distinctive
+and assertive personalities as Mr. Wilson Steer, Mr. Henry Tonks, Mr.
+Augustus John, Mr. William Orpen, Mr. Von Glehn, Mr. MacColl, and Professor
+Holmes, cannot possess even such unity of purpose as inspired Mr. Holman
+Hunt and his associates of the &rsquo;fifties.&nbsp; The New English
+Art Club is <!-- page 169--><a name="page169"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 169</span>simply
+an admirably administered association whose members have rather less
+in common than is shared by the members of an ordinary political club.&nbsp;
+The exhibitions are for this reason intensely interesting.&nbsp; They
+cannot be waved aside like mobs, and no comprehensive epigram can do
+them even an injustice.</p>
+<p>I never knew any painter worthy of the name who paid the smallest
+attention to what a critic says, even in conversation.&nbsp; He will
+retort; but he will not change his style or regulate his motives to
+suit a critic&rsquo;s palate.&nbsp; So may I now mention their faults?&nbsp;
+What painter is without fault?&nbsp; Their faults are shared by <i>nearly</i>
+all of them; their virtues are their own.&nbsp; I see among them an
+absence of any <i>desire</i> for beauty&mdash;for physical beauty.&nbsp;
+If the artists have fulfilled a mission in abolishing &lsquo;the sweetly
+pretty Christmas supplement kind of work,&rsquo; I think they dwell
+too long on the trivial and the ignoble.&nbsp; They put a not very interesting
+domesticity into their frames.&nbsp; Rossetti, of course, wheeled about
+the marriage couch, but his was itself an interesting object of <i>virtu</i>.&nbsp;
+Modern art ceased to express the better aspirations and thoughts of
+the day <!-- page 170--><a name="page170"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 170</span>when
+modern artists refused to become the servants of the commune, but asserted
+themselves as a component part of an intellectual republic.&nbsp; That
+is why people only commission portraits, and prefer to buy old masters
+who anticipate those better aspirations.&nbsp; Burne-Jones, however,
+expressed in paint that longing to be out of the nineteenth century
+which was so widespread.&nbsp; Now we are well out of it, the rising
+generation does not esteem his works with the same enthusiasm as the
+elders.&nbsp; It reads Mr. Wells on the future, and looks into the convex
+mirror of Mr. Bernard Shaw; but it does not buy Dubedats to the extent
+that it ought to do.&nbsp; The members of the New English Art Club could,
+I think, preserve their &aelig;sthetic conscience and yet paint beautiful
+things and beautiful people.&nbsp; Mr. Steer has now given them a lead.&nbsp;
+I wonder what Mr. Winter&rsquo;s opinion would be?&nbsp; He is the best
+salesman in London.</p>
+<p>Among dealers, the ancient firm of Messrs. P. &amp; D. Colnaghi,
+of which Thackeray writes, is the <i>doyen</i>.&nbsp; That of Messrs.
+Agnew is the <i>douane</i>.&nbsp; Here it is that the official seal
+must be set before modern paintings can pass onwards <!-- page 171--><a name="page171"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 171</span>to
+the Midlands and the middle classes.&nbsp; Well, I felicitate the august
+officials on removing a tariff of prejudice; I felicitate the young
+artists who, released from the bondage of the Egyptian Hall, can now
+enjoy the lighter air, the larger day, the pasturage and patronage of
+Palestine.&nbsp; I compliment the fearless collectors, such as Mr. C.
+K. Butler, Mr. Herbert Trench, Mr. Daniel, His Honour Judge Evans, the
+Leylands and the Leathearts of a latter day, for ignoring contemporary
+ridicule and anticipating the verdict, not of passing fashion but of
+posterity.&nbsp; As the servant spoke well of his master while wearing
+his clothes which were far too big for him, let me congratulate the
+Chrysostom of critics, the Origen who has scourged our heresies, Mr.
+D. S. MacColl; because the Greeks have entered Troy or the barbarians
+the senate-house.&nbsp; <i>Dissolve frigus ligna super foco large reponens</i>,
+and let us mix our metaphors.&nbsp; What was Mr. MacColl&rsquo;s Waterloo
+was a Canossa for Messrs. Agnew.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 172--><a name="page172"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 172</span>MR.&nbsp;
+HOLMAN HUNT AT THE LEICESTER GALLERIES.</h2>
+<p>An enterprising American syndicate was once formed for manufacturing
+Stilton cheeses on a large scale; like the pirated Cheddars from similar
+sources, enjoyed by members of most London clubs.&nbsp; Various farms
+celebrated for their Stiltons were visited, sums of money being offered
+for old family recipes.&nbsp; The simple peasants of the district willingly
+parted with copies of their heirlooms, for a consideration, to the different
+American agents, who, filled with joy, repaired to their London offices
+in order to compare notes, and fully persuaded that England was a greener
+country than ever Constable painted it.&nbsp; What was their mortification
+on discovering that all the recipes were entirely different; they could
+not be reconciled even by machinery.&nbsp; So it is with Pre-Raphaelitism;
+every critic believes that he knows the great secret, and can always
+quote from one of the brotherhood something <!-- page 173--><a name="page173"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 173</span>in
+support of his view.&nbsp; At the beginning the brothers meekly accepted
+Ruskin&rsquo;s explanation of their existence; his, indeed, was a very
+convenient, though not entirely accurate, exposition of their collective
+view, if they can be said to have possessed one.&nbsp; How far Ruskin
+was out of sympathy with them, indiscreet memoirs have revealed.&nbsp;
+An artistic idea, or a group of ideas, must always be broken gently
+to the English people, because the acceptance of them necessitates the
+swallowing of words.&nbsp; When the golden ladders are let down from
+heaven by poets, artists, or critics even; or new spirits are hovering
+in the intellectual empyrean, the patriarch public snoring on its stone
+pillow wakes up; but he will not wrestle with the angel.&nbsp; He mistakes
+the ladders for scaffolding, or some temporary embarrassment in the
+street traffic; he orders their instant removal; he writes angry letters
+to the papers and invokes the police.&nbsp; After some time Ruskin&rsquo;s
+definition of Pre-Raphaelitism was generally accepted, and then the
+death of Rossetti produced other recipes for the Stilton cheese, Mr.
+Hall Caine being among the grocers.&nbsp; Whatever the correct definition
+may <!-- page 174--><a name="page174"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 174</span>be,
+ungracious and ungrateful though it is to praise the dead at the expense
+of the living, it has to be recognised that among the remarkable group
+of painters in which even the minor men were little masters, the greatest
+artist of them all was Dante Gabriel Rossetti.&nbsp; &lsquo;By critic
+I mean finding fault,&rsquo; says Sir William Richmond; so let us follow
+his advice, and avoid technical discussion along with the popular jargon
+of art criticism.&nbsp; &lsquo;After staying two or three hours in the
+always-delightful Leicester Galleries, let us walk home and think a
+little of what we have seen.&rsquo;&nbsp; For the essence of beauty
+there is nothing of Mr. Holman Hunt&rsquo;s to compare with Rossetti&rsquo;s
+&lsquo;Beloved&rsquo; or the &lsquo;Blue Bower;&rsquo; and you could
+name twenty of the poet&rsquo;s water-colours which, for design, invention,
+devious symbolism, and religious impulse, surpass the finest of Mr.
+Hunt&rsquo;s most elaborate works.&nbsp; Even in the painter&rsquo;s
+own special field&mdash;the symbolised illustration of Holy Writ&mdash;he
+is overwhelmed by Millais with the superb &lsquo;Carpenter&rsquo;s Shop.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+In Millais, it was well said by Mr. Charles Whibley, &lsquo;we were
+cheated out of a Rubens.&rsquo;&nbsp; Millais <!-- page 175--><a name="page175"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 175</span>was
+the strong man, the great oil-painter of the group, as Rossetti was
+the supreme artist.&nbsp; In Mr. Holman Hunt we lost another Archdeacon
+Farrar.&nbsp; Then, in the sublimation of uglitude, Madox-Brown, step-father
+of the Pre-Raphaelites (my information is derived from a P.R.B. aunt),
+was an infinitely greater conjurer.&nbsp; Look at the radiant painting
+of &lsquo;Washing of the Feet&rsquo; in the Tate Gallery; is there anything
+to equal that masterpiece from the brush of Mr. Holman Hunt?&nbsp; The
+&lsquo;Hireling Shepherd&rsquo; comes nearest, but the preacher, following
+his own sheep, has strayed into alien corn, and on cliffs from which
+is ebbing a tide of nonconformist conscience.&nbsp; Like his own hireling
+shepherd, too, he has mistaken a phenomenon of nature for a sermon.</p>
+<p>One of the great little pictures, &lsquo;Claudio and Isabella,&rsquo;
+proves, however, that <i>once</i> he determined to be a painter.&nbsp;
+In the &lsquo;Lady of Shalott&rsquo; he showed himself a designer with
+unusual powers akin to those of William Blake.&nbsp; Still, examined
+at a distance or close at hand, among his canvases do we find a single
+piece of decoration or a picture in the <!-- page 176--><a name="page176"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 176</span>ordinary
+sense of the word?&nbsp; My definition of a religious picture is a painted
+object in two dimensions destined or suitable for the decoration of
+an altar or other site in a church, or room devoted to religious purposes;
+if it fails to satisfy the required conditions, it fails as a work of
+art.&nbsp; Where is the work of this so-called religious painter which
+would satisfy the not exacting conditions of a nonconformist or Anglican
+place of worship?&nbsp; You are not surprised to learn that Keble College
+mistook the &lsquo;Light of the World&rsquo; for a patent fuel, or that
+the background of the &lsquo;Innocents&rsquo; was painted in &lsquo;the
+Philistine plain.&rsquo;&nbsp; Who could live even in cold weather with
+the &lsquo;Miracle of the Sacred Fire?&rsquo;&nbsp; Give me rather the
+&lsquo;Derby Day&rsquo; of Mr. Frith&mdash;admirable and underrated
+master.&nbsp; What are they if we cannot place them in the category
+of pictures?&nbsp; They are pietistic ejaculations&mdash;tickled-up
+maxims in pigment of extraordinary durability&mdash;counsels of perfection
+in colour and conduct.&nbsp; Of all the Pre-Raphaelites, Mr. Hunt will
+remain the most popular.&nbsp; He is artistically the scapegoat of that
+great movement which gave a new impulse <!-- page 177--><a name="page177"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 177</span>to
+English art, a scapegoat sent out to wander by the dead seas of popularity.&nbsp;
+I once knew a learned German who regretted that none of his countrymen
+could paint &lsquo;Alpine scenery&rsquo; as Mr. Hunt has done in the
+&lsquo;Scapegoat&rsquo;!&nbsp; Yes, he has a message for every one,
+for my German friend, for Sir William Richmond, and myself.&nbsp; He
+is a missing link between art and popularity.&nbsp; He symbolises the
+evangelical attitude of those who would go to German Reed&rsquo;s and
+the Egyptian Hall, but would not attend a theatre.&nbsp; After all,
+it was a gracious attitude, because it is that of mothers who aged more
+beautifully, I think, than the ladies of a later generation which admired
+Whistler or Burne-Jones and regularly attended the Lyceum.&nbsp; When
+modern art, the brilliant art of the &rsquo;sixties, was strictly excluded
+from English homes except in black and white magazines, engravings from
+the &lsquo;Finding of Christ in the Temple&rsquo; and the &lsquo;Light
+of the World&rsquo; were allowed to grace the parlour along with &lsquo;Bolton
+Abbey,&rsquo; the &lsquo;Stag at Bay,&rsquo; and &lsquo;Bl&uuml;cher
+meeting Wellington.&rsquo;&nbsp; You see them now only in Pimlico and
+St. John&rsquo;s Wood.&nbsp; A friend of mine said <!-- page 178--><a name="page178"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 178</span>he
+could never look at the picture of &lsquo;Bl&uuml;cher meeting Wellington&rsquo;
+without blushing. . . . Like a good knight and true, Sir William Richmond,
+another Bedivere, has brandished Excalibur in the form of a catalogue
+for Mr. Hunt&rsquo;s pictures.&nbsp; He offers the jewels for our inspection;
+they make a brave show; they are genuine; they are intrinsic, but you
+remember others of finer water, Bronzino-like portraits of Mr. Andrew
+Lang and Bismarck and many others.&nbsp; Now, you should never recollect
+anything during the enjoyment of a complete work of art.</p>
+<p>Every one knows the view from Richmond, I should say <i>of</i> Richmond;
+it is almost my own . . . Far off Sir Bedivere sees Lyonesse submerged;
+Camelot-at-Sea has capitulated after a second siege to stronger forces.&nbsp;
+The new Moonet is high in the heaven and a dim Turner-like haze has
+begun to obscure the landscape and soften the outlines.&nbsp; Under
+cover of the mist the hosts of Mordred MacColl, <i>en-Tat&eacute;</i>
+with victory, are hunting the steer in the New English Forest.&nbsp;
+Far off the enchanter Burne-Jones is sleeping quietly in Broceliande
+(I cannot bear to call it Rottingdean).&nbsp; <!-- page 179--><a name="page179"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 179</span>Hark,
+the hunt, (not the Holman Hunt) is up in Caledon (Glasgow); they have
+started the shy wilson steer: they have wound the hornel; the lords
+of the International, who love not Mordred overmuch, are galloping nearer
+and nearer.&nbsp; Sir Bedivere can see their insolent pencils waving
+black and white flags: and the game-keepers and beaters (critics) chant
+in low vulgar tones:</p>
+<blockquote><p>When we came out of Glasgow town<br />
+There was really nothing at all to see<br />
+Except Legros and Professor Brown,<br />
+But <i>now</i> there is Guthrie and Lavery.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Undaunted Sir Bedivere drags his burden to a hermitage near Coniston;
+but he finds it ruined; he bars the door in order to administer refreshment
+to the wounded Pre-Raphaelite; there is a knocking at the wicket-gate;
+is it the younger generation?&nbsp; No, he can hear the tread of the
+royal sargent-at-arms; his spurs and sword are clanking on the pavement.&nbsp;
+Sir Bedivere feels his palette parched; his tongue cleaves to the roof
+of St. Paul&rsquo;s; but he is undaunted.&nbsp; &lsquo;We are surely
+betrayed if that is really Sargent,&rsquo; he says.&nbsp; Through the
+broken tracery of the Italian Gothic window <!-- page 180--><a name="page180"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 180</span>a
+breeze or draught comes softly and fans his strong academic arms; he
+feels a twinge.&nbsp; Some Merlin told him he would suffer from ricketts
+with shannon complications.&nbsp; Seizing Excalibur, he opens the door
+cautiously.&nbsp; &lsquo;Draw, caitiffs,&rsquo; he cries; &lsquo;draw.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+&lsquo;Perhaps they cannot draw; perhaps they are impressionists,&rsquo;
+said a raven on the hill; and he flew away.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<p><i>To</i><span class="smcap"> Sir William Blake Richmond, R.A., K.C.B.</span></p>
+<h2><!-- page 181--><a name="page181"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 181</span>THE
+ECLECTIC AT LARGE.</h2>
+<p>In <i>The Education of an Artist</i>, Mr. Lewis Hind invented a new
+kind of art criticism&mdash;a pleasing blend of the Morelli narrative
+(minus the scientific method) and <i>Mr. Sponge&rsquo;s Sporting Tour</i>.&nbsp;
+He contrives a young man, ignorant like the Russian, Lermoliev, who
+receives certain artistic impressions, faithfully recorded by Mr. Hind
+and visualised for the reader in a series of engaging half-tone illustrations.&nbsp;
+The hero&rsquo;s name is itself suggestive&mdash;Claude Williamson Shaw.&nbsp;
+By the end of the book he is nearly as learned as Mr. Claude Phillips:
+he might edit a series of art-books with all the skill of Dr. Williamson,
+and his power of racy criticism rivals that of Mr. George Bernard Shaw.&nbsp;
+You can hardly escape the belief that these three immortals came from
+the north and south, gathered as unto strife, breathed upon his mouth
+and filled his body&mdash;with ideas: Mr. Hind supplying the life.&nbsp;
+<!-- page 182--><a name="page182"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 182</span>But
+this is not so: the ideas are all Mr. Hind&rsquo;s and the godfathers
+only supplied the name.&nbsp; What a name it is to be sure!&nbsp; It
+recalls one of Ibsen&rsquo;s plays: &lsquo;Claude Williamson Shaw was
+a miner&rsquo;s son&mdash;a Cornish miner&rsquo;s son, as you know;
+or perhaps you didn&rsquo;t know.&nbsp; He was always wanting <i>plein-air</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+Some one ought to say that in the book, but I must say it instead.&nbsp;
+At all events, Mr. Hind nearly always refers to him by his three names,
+and every one must think of him in the same way, otherwise side issues
+will intrude themselves&mdash;thoughts of other things and people.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;O Captain Shaw, type of true love kept under,&rsquo; is not inapposite,
+because Claude Williamson Shaw fell in love with a lady who in a tantalising
+manner became a religious in one of the strictest Orders, the rules
+of which were duly set forth in old three-volume novels; that is the
+only conventional incident in the book.&nbsp; C. W. S., although he
+trains for painting, is admitted by Mr. Hind to be quite a bad artist.&nbsp;
+Apart, therefore, from the admirable criticism which is the main feature
+of the book, it shows great courage on the part of the inventor, great
+sacrifice, to admit <!-- page 183--><a name="page183"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 183</span>that
+C. W. S. <i>was</i> a failure as an artist.&nbsp; Bad artists, however,
+are always nice people.&nbsp; I do not say that the reverse is true;
+indeed, I know many good and even great artists who are charming; but
+I never met a thoroughly inferior painter (without any promise of either
+a future or a past) who was not irresistible socially.&nbsp; This accounts
+for some of the elections at the Royal Academy, I believe, and for the
+pictures on the walls of your friends whose taste you know to be impeccable.&nbsp;
+There is more hearty recognition of bad art in England than the Tate
+Gallery gives us any idea of.</p>
+<p>I know that the Chantrey Trustees were deprived of the only possible
+excuse for their purchases by the finding of Lord Lytton&rsquo;s Commission;
+but I, for one, shall always think of them as kindly men with a fellow-feeling
+for incompetence, who would have bought a work by Claude Williamson
+Shaw if the opportunity presented itself.&nbsp; I have sometimes tried
+to imagine what the pictures of <i>invented</i> artists in fiction or
+drama were really like&mdash;I fear they were all dreadful performances.&nbsp;
+I used to imagine that Oswald <!-- page 184--><a name="page184"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 184</span>Avling
+was a sort of Segantini, but something he says in the play convinced
+me that he was merely another Verboekhoven.&nbsp; Then Thackeray&rsquo;s
+Ridley must have been a terrible Philistine&mdash;a sort of Sir John
+Gilbert.&nbsp; Poor Basil Hallward&rsquo;s death was no great loss to
+art, I surmise: his portrait of &lsquo;Dorian Grey, Esq.&rsquo;, from
+all accounts, resembled the miraculous picture exhibited in Bond Street
+a short while ago.&nbsp; I am not surprised that its owner, whose taste
+improved, I suspect, with advancing years, destroyed it in the ordinary
+course after reading something by Mr. D. S. MacColl.&nbsp; It is distinctly
+stated that Dorian read the <i>Saturday Review</i>!&nbsp; Frenhofer,
+Hippolite Schimier, and Leon de Lora were probably chocolate-box painters
+of the regular second-empire type.&nbsp; Theobald, we know from Mr.
+Henry James, was a man of ideas who could not carry out his intentions.&nbsp;
+It must have been an exquisite memory of Theobald&rsquo;s failures which
+made Pater, when he wished to contrive an imaginary artistic personality,
+take Watteau as being some one in whose achievements you can believe.&nbsp;
+No literary artist can persuade us into admiring <!-- page 185--><a name="page185"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 185</span>pictures
+which never existed; though an artist can reconstruct from literature
+a picture which has perished we know, from the &lsquo;Calumny of Apelles&rsquo;
+by Botticelli.&nbsp; It was, therefore, wise to make Claude Williamson
+Shaw a failure as a painter.&nbsp; In accordance with my rule he was
+an excellent fellow, nearly as charming as his author, and better company
+in a picture-gallery it would be difficult to find&mdash;and you cannot
+visit picture-galleries with every friend: you require a sympathetic
+personality.&nbsp; It is the Claude&mdash;the Claude Phillips in him
+which I like best: the Dr. Williamson I rather suspect.&nbsp; I mean
+that when he was at Messrs. Chepstow, the publishers, he must have mugged
+up some of the real Dr. Williamson&rsquo;s art publications.&nbsp; Whether
+in the Louvre, or National Gallery, or in Italian towns, he always goes
+for the right thing; sometimes you wish he would make a mistake.&nbsp;
+Bad artists, of course, are often excellent judges of old pictures and
+make excellent dealers, and I am not denying the instinct of C. W. S.;
+but I cannot think it all came so naturally as Mr. Hind would indicate.</p>
+<p><!-- page 186--><a name="page186"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 186</span>The
+reason why Claude Williamson Shaw discovered &lsquo;that he would not
+find a true expression of his temperament&rsquo; in painting readers
+of this ingenious book will discover for themselves.&nbsp; Assuming
+that he had any innate talent, I do not think he went about the right
+way to cultivate it.&nbsp; His friend Lund gave him the very worst advice;
+though we are the gainers.&nbsp; It is quite unnecessary to go out of
+England and gaze at a lot of pictures of entirely different schools
+in order to become a painter.&nbsp; Gainsborough and our great Norwich
+artists evolved themselves without any foreign study.&nbsp; There was
+no National Gallery in their days.&nbsp; A second-rate Wynants and a
+doubtful Hobbema seem to have been enough to give them hints.&nbsp;
+It would be tedious to mention other examples.&nbsp; The fortunate meeting
+of Zuccarelli and Wilson at Venice is the only instance I know in which
+foreign travel benefited any English landscape painter.&nbsp; Foreign
+travel is all very well when the artist has grown up.&nbsp; Paris has
+been the tomb of many English art students.&nbsp; M. Bordeaux, who gave
+Mr. Hind&rsquo;s hero tips in the atelier, seems to have been as &lsquo;convincing&rsquo;
+as <!-- page 187--><a name="page187"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 187</span>the
+famous barrel of the same name.&nbsp; Far better will the English student
+be under Mr. Tonks at the Slade; or even at the Royal Academy, where,
+owing to the doctrine of contraries, out of sheer rebellion he may become
+an artist.&nbsp; In Paris you learn perfect carpentry, but not art,
+unless you are a born artist; but in that case you will be one in spite
+of Paris, not because of it.&nbsp; But if C. W. Shaw had been a real
+painter he would have seen at Venice certain Tiepolos which seem to
+have escaped him, and in other parts of Italy certain Caravaggios.&nbsp;
+Yes, and Correggios and Guido Renis, too hastily passed by.&nbsp; He
+was doomed to be a connoisseur.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<h2><!-- page 188--><a name="page188"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 188</span>EGO
+ET MAX MEUS.</h2>
+<p>&lsquo;How very delightful Max&rsquo;s drawings are.&nbsp; For all
+their mad perspective and crude colour, they have, indeed, the sentiment
+of style, and they reveal with rarer delicacy than does any other record
+the spirit of Lloyd-George&rsquo;s day.&rsquo;&nbsp; This sentence is
+not quite original: it is adapted from an eminent author because the
+words sum up so completely the inexpressible satisfaction following
+an inspection of Mr. Beerbohm&rsquo;s caricatures.&nbsp; To-day essentially
+belongs to the Minister who once presided at the Board of Trade.&nbsp;
+Several attempts indeed have been made to describe the literature, art
+and drama of the present as &lsquo;Edwardian,&rsquo; from a very proper
+and loyal spirit, to which I should be the last to object.&nbsp; We
+were even promised a few years ago a new style of furniture to inaugurate
+the reign&mdash;something to supplant that Louis Dix-neuvi&egrave;me
+<i>d&eacute;cor</i> which is merely a compromise <!-- page 189--><a name="page189"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 189</span>with
+the past.&nbsp; But somehow the whole thing has fallen through; in this
+democratic &aelig;on the adjective &lsquo;Edwardian&rsquo; trips on
+the tongue; our real dramatists are all Socialists or Radicals; our
+poets and writers Anarchists.&nbsp; Our artists are the only conservatives
+of intellect.&nbsp; Our foreign policy alone can be called &lsquo;Edwardian,&rsquo;
+so personal is it to the King.&nbsp; Everything else is a compromise;
+so our time must therefore be known&mdash;at least ten years of it&mdash;as
+the Lloyd-Georgian period.&nbsp; I can imagine collectors of the future
+struggling for an <i>alleged</i> genuine work of art belonging to this
+brief renaissance, and the disappointment of the dealer on finding that
+it dated a year before the Budget, thereby reducing its value by some
+thousands.</p>
+<p>Just as we go to Kneller and Lely for speaking portraits of the men
+who made their age, so I believe our descendants will turn to Max for
+listening likenesses of the present generation.&nbsp; Of all modern
+artists, he alone follows Hamlet&rsquo;s advice.&nbsp; If the mirror
+is a convex one, that is merely the accident of genius, and reflects
+the malady of the century.&nbsp; <!-- page 190--><a name="page190"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 190</span>Other
+artists have too much eye on the Uffizi and the National Gallery (the
+more modest of them only painting up to the Tate).&nbsp; In Max we have
+one who never harks forward to the future, and is therefore more characteristic,
+more Lloyd-Georgian than any of his peers.&nbsp; Set for one moment
+beside some Rubens&rsquo; goddess a portrait by Mr. Sargent, and how
+would she be troubled by its beauty?&nbsp; Not in the slightest degree;
+because they are both similar but differing expressions of the same
+genius of painting.&nbsp; The centuries which separate them are historical
+conventions; and in Art, history does not count; &aelig;sthetically,
+time is of no consequence.&nbsp; But in the more objective art of caricature,
+history is of some import, and (as Mr. Beerbohm himself admitted about
+photographs) the man limned is of paramount importance.&nbsp; Actual
+resemblance, truthfulness of presentation, criticism of the model become
+legitimate subjects for consideration.&nbsp; Generally speaking, artists
+long since wisely resigned all attempts at catching a likeness, leaving
+to photography an inglorious victory.&nbsp; Mr. Beerbohm, realising
+this fact, seized caricature <!-- page 191--><a name="page191"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 191</span>as
+a substitute&mdash;the consolation, it may be, for a lost or neglected
+talent.&nbsp; It is as though Watts (painter of the soul&rsquo;s prism,
+if ever there was one) had pushed away Ward and Downey from the camera,
+to insert a subtler lens, a more sensitive negative.</p>
+<p>* * * *</p>
+<p>If, reader, you have ever been to a West-end picture shop, you will
+have suffered some annoyance on looking too attentively at any item
+in the exhibition, by the approach of an officious attendant, who presses
+you to purchase it.&nbsp; He begins by flattery; he felicitates you
+on your choice of the <i>best</i> picture in the room&mdash;the one
+that has been &lsquo;universally admired by critics and collectors.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The fact of its not being sold is due (he na&iuml;vely confesses)
+to its rather high price; several offers have been submitted, and if
+not sold at the catalogued amount the artist has promised to consider
+them; but it is very unlikely that the drawing will remain long without
+a red ticket, &lsquo;<i>as people come back to town to-morrow</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+There is the stab, the stab in the back while you were drinking honey;
+the tragedy of <!-- page 192--><a name="page192"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 192</span>Corfe
+Castle repeated.&nbsp; <i>People with</i> a capital <i>P</i> in picture-dealing
+circles does not mean what they call the <i>Hoypolloy</i>; it means
+the great ones of the earth, the <i>monde</i>, the Capulets and Montagues
+with wealth or rank.&nbsp; You have been measured by the revolting attendant.&nbsp;
+He does not count you with them, or you would not be in town to-day;
+something has escaped you in the <i>Morning Post</i>, some function
+to which you were not invited, or of which you knew nothing.&nbsp; If
+you happen to be a Capulet you feel mildly amused, and in order to correct
+the wrong impression and let the underling know your name and address
+you purchase the drawing; for the greatest have their weak side.&nbsp;
+But, if not, and you have simply risen from the &lsquo;purple of commerce,&rsquo;
+you are determined not to lag behind stuck-up Society; you will revenge
+yourself for the thousand injuries of Fortunatus; you will deprive him
+of his prerogative to buy the <i>best</i>.&nbsp; The purchase is concluded.&nbsp;
+You go home with your nerves slightly shaken from the gloved contest&mdash;you
+go home to face your wife and children, wearing a look of wistful inquiry
+on their irregular upturned faces, as <!-- page 193--><a name="page193"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 193</span>when
+snow lies upon the ground, they scent Christmas, and you look up with
+surprise at the whiteness of the ceiling.&nbsp; Though in private life
+a contributor to the press, in public I used to be one of those importunate
+salesmen.</p>
+<p>It was my duty, my pleasurable duty, so to act for Mr. Beerbohm&rsquo;s
+caricatures when exhibited at a fashionable West-end gallery where among
+the visitors I recognised many of his models.&nbsp; I observe that when
+Mr. Beerbohm is a friend of his victim he is generally at his best;
+that he is always excellent and often superb if he is in sympathy with
+the personality of that victim, however brutally he may render it.&nbsp;
+His failures are due to lack of sympathy, and they are often, oddly
+enough, the mildest as caricatures.&nbsp; Fortunately, Mr. Beerbohm
+selects chiefly celebrities who are either personal friends or those
+for whom he must have great admiration and sympathy.&nbsp; By a divine
+palmistry he estimates them with exquisite perception.&nbsp; I noted
+that those who were annoyed with their own caricature either did not
+know Mr. Beerbohm or disliked his incomparable writings; and, curiously
+enough, <!-- page 194--><a name="page194"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 194</span>he
+misses the likeness in people he either does not know personally or
+whom you suspect he dislikes.&nbsp; I am glad now of the opportunity
+of being sincere, because it was part of my function as salesman to
+agree with what every one said, whether in praise or in blame.</p>
+<p>And let me reproduce a conversation with one of the visitors.&nbsp;
+It is illustrative:&mdash;</p>
+<p>[<span class="smcap">Scene</span>: <i>The Carfax Gallery; rather
+empty; early morning: Caricatures by Max Beerbohm; entrance one shilling.&nbsp;
+Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Distinguished Client</span>, <i>takes
+catalogue, but does not consult it.&nbsp; No celebrity ever consults
+a catalogue in a modern picture-gallery.&nbsp; This does not apply to
+ladies, however distinguished, who conscientiously begin at number one
+and read out from the catalogue the title of each picture</i>.&nbsp;
+<span class="smcap">Shopman</span> <i>in attendance</i>.]</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>glancing round</i>).&nbsp; Yes; how very clever they are.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>.&nbsp; Yes; they are very amusing.</p>
+<p>D. C.&nbsp; I suppose you have had heaps of People.&nbsp; What a
+pity Max cannot draw!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>.&nbsp; Yes; it <i>is</i> a great
+pity.</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>examines drawing; after a pause</i>).&nbsp; But he <i>can</i>
+draw.&nbsp; Look at that one of Althorp.</p>
+<p><!-- page 195--><a name="page195"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 195</span><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>
+(<i>trying to look intelligent</i>): Yes; that certainly is well drawn.</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>pointing to photograph of Paris inserted in Mr. Claude
+Lowther&rsquo;s caricature</i>).&nbsp; And how extraordinary that is.&nbsp;
+It is like one of Muirhead Bone&rsquo;s street scenes.&nbsp; He does
+street scenes, doesn&rsquo;t he?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>.&nbsp; Yes; or one of Mr. Joseph
+Pennell&rsquo;s.</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>after a pause</i>).&nbsp; What a pity he never gets the
+likeness.&nbsp; That&rsquo;s very bad of Arthur Balfour.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>.&nbsp; Yes; it is a great pity.&nbsp;
+No; that&rsquo;s not at all a good one of Mr. Balfour.</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>pointing to Mr. Shaw&rsquo;s photograph inserted in caricature</i>).&nbsp;
+But he <i>has</i> got the likeness there.&nbsp; By Jove! it&rsquo;s
+nearly as good as a photograph.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span> (<i>examining photograph as if
+he had never seen it; enthusiastically</i>).&nbsp; It&rsquo;s <i>almost</i>
+as good as a photograph.</p>
+<p>D. C. (<i>pointing with umbrella to Lord Weardale</i>).&nbsp; Of
+course, that&rsquo;s Rosebery?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span> (<i>nervously</i>): Y-e-s.&nbsp;
+(<i>Brightly changing subject</i>.)&nbsp; What do you think of Mr. Sargent&rsquo;s?</p>
+<p><!-- page 196--><a name="page196"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 196</span>D.
+C. (<i>now worked up</i>).&nbsp; Oh! that&rsquo;s very good.&nbsp; Yes;
+that&rsquo;s the best of all.&nbsp; I see it&rsquo;s sold.&nbsp; I should
+have bought that one if it hadn&rsquo;t been sold.&nbsp; I wish Max
+would do a caricature of (<i>describes a possible caricature</i>).&nbsp;
+Tell him I suggested it; he knows me quite well (<i>glancing round</i>).&nbsp;
+He really is tremendous.&nbsp; Are they going to be published?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shopman</span>.&nbsp; Yes; by Methuen &amp; Co.&nbsp;
+(<i>Hastily going over to new-comer</i>.)&nbsp; Yes, madam, that is
+Mr. Arthur Balfour; it&rsquo;s considered the <i>best</i> caricature
+in the exhibition&mdash;the likeness is so particularly striking; and
+as a pure piece of draughtsmanship it is certainly the finest drawing
+in the room.&nbsp; No; that&rsquo;s not so good of Lord Althorp, though
+it <i>was</i> the first to sell.&nbsp; (<i>Turning to another client</i>.)&nbsp;
+Yes, sir; he is Mr. Beerbohm Tree&rsquo;s half-brother.</p>
+<p>(1907.)</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Beerbohm</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 197--><a name="page197"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 197</span>THE
+ETHICS OF REVIEWING.</h2>
+<p>The &lsquo;Acropolis,&rsquo; a review of literature, science, art,
+politics, society, and the drama, is, as every one knows, our leading
+literary weekly.&nbsp; Its original promoters decided on its rather
+eccentric title with a symbolism now outmoded.&nbsp; The &lsquo;Acropolis&rsquo;
+was to be impregnable to outside contributors, and the editor was always
+to be invisible.&nbsp; All the vile and secret arts of r&eacute;clame
+and puffery were to find no place in its immaculate pages.&nbsp; One
+afternoon some time ago a number of gentlemen, more or less responsible
+for the production of the &lsquo;Acropolis,&rsquo; were seated round
+the fire in the smoking-room of a certain club.&nbsp; For the last hour
+they had been discussing with some warmth the merits of signed or unsigned
+articles and the reviewing of books.&nbsp; A tall, good-looking man,
+who pretended to be unpopular, was advocating the anonymous.&nbsp; &lsquo;There
+is something so cowardly about a signed article,&rsquo; he was saying.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;It is nearly <!-- page 198--><a name="page198"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 198</span>as
+bad as insulting a man in public, when there is no redress except to
+call for the police.&nbsp; And that is ridiculous.&nbsp; If I am slated
+by an anonymous writer, it is always in my power to pay no attention,
+whereas if the slate is signed, I am obliged to take notice of some
+kind.&nbsp; I must either deny the statements, often at a great sacrifice
+of truth, or if I assault the writer there is always the risk of his
+being physically stronger than I am.&nbsp; No; anonymous attack is the
+only weapon for gentlemen.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;To leave for a moment the subject of anonymity,&rsquo; said
+an eminent novelist, &lsquo;I think the great curse of all criticism
+is that of slating any book at all.&nbsp; Think of the unfortunate young
+man or woman first entering the paths of literature, and the great pain
+it causes them.&nbsp; You should encourage them, and not damp their
+enthusiasm.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;My dear fellow,&rsquo; said North, &lsquo;I encourage no one,
+and writers should never have any feelings at all.&nbsp; They can&rsquo;t
+have any, or they would not bore the public by writing.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>The discussion was getting heated when the editor, Rivers, interfered.</p>
+<p><!-- page 199--><a name="page199"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 199</span>&lsquo;My
+dear North,&rsquo; he began, addressing the first speaker, &lsquo;your
+eloquent advocacy of the anonymous reminds me of a curious incident
+that occurred many years ago when I was assistant-editor of the &ldquo;Acropolis.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+The facts were never known to the public, and my old chief, Curtis,
+met with much misplaced abuse in consequence.&nbsp; There were reasons
+for which he could never break silence; but it happened so long ago
+that I cannot be betraying any confidence.&nbsp; All of you have heard
+of, and some of you have seen, Quentin Burrage, whose articles practically
+made the &ldquo;Acropolis&rdquo; what it now is.&nbsp; His opinion on
+all subjects was looked forward to by the public each week.&nbsp; Young
+poetasters would tremble when their time should come to be pulverised
+by the scathing epigrams which fell from his anonymous pen.&nbsp; Essayists,
+novelists, statesmen were pale for weeks until a review appeared that
+would make or mar their fame.&nbsp; In the various literary coteries
+of London no one knew that Quentin Burrage was the slater who thrilled,
+irritated, or amused them, though he was of course recognised as an
+occasional contributor.&nbsp; The secret was well kept.&nbsp; He <!-- page 200--><a name="page200"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 200</span>was
+practically critical censor of London for ten years.&nbsp; A whole school
+of novelists ceased to exist after three of his notices in the &ldquo;Acropolis.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+The names of painters famous before his time you will not find in the
+largest dictionaries now.&nbsp; Four journalists committed suicide after
+he had burlesqued their syntax, and two statesmen resigned office owing
+to his masterly examination of their policy.&nbsp; We were all much
+shocked when a popular actor set fire to his theatre on a first night
+because Curtis and his dramatic critic refused to take champagne and
+chicken between the acts.&nbsp; This may give you some idea of Burrage&rsquo;s
+power in London for a decade of the last century.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;One day a curious change came over him.&nbsp; It was Monday
+when he and I were in the office receiving our instructions.&nbsp; Curtis,
+after going over some books, handed to Quentin a vellum-covered volume
+of poems, saying with a grim smile: &ldquo;There are some more laurels
+for you to hash.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;An expression of pain spread over Quentin&rsquo;s serene features.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;&ldquo;I&rsquo;ll see what I can do,&rdquo; he said wearily.&nbsp;
+But his curious manner struck both Curtis and <!-- page 201--><a name="page201"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 201</span>myself.&nbsp;
+The book was a collection of very indifferent verse which already enjoyed
+a wide popularity.&nbsp; I cannot tell you the title, for that is a
+secret not my own.&nbsp; It was early work of one of our most esteemed
+poets who for some time was regarded by <i>his friends</i> as the natural
+successor to Mr. Alfred Austin.&nbsp; The &ldquo;Acropolis&rdquo; had
+not spoken.&nbsp; We were sometimes behindhand in our reviews.&nbsp;
+The public waited to learn if the new poet was really worth anything.&nbsp;
+You may imagine the general surprise when a week afterwards there appeared
+a flamingly favourable review of the poems.&nbsp; It made a perfect
+sensation and was quoted largely.&nbsp; The public became quite conceited
+with its foresight.&nbsp; The reputation of the poet was assured.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Snarley-ow must be dead,&rdquo; some one remarked in my hearing
+at the club, and members tried to pump me.&nbsp; One day a telegram
+came from Curtis asking me to go down to his house at once.&nbsp; A
+request from him was a command.&nbsp; I found him in a state of some
+excitement, his manner a little artificial.&nbsp; &ldquo;My dear Rivers,
+I suppose you think me mad.&nbsp; The geese have got into the Capitol
+at last.&rdquo;&nbsp; Without correcting his <!-- page 202--><a name="page202"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 202</span>classical
+allusion, I said: &ldquo;Where is Burrage?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;He is
+coming here presently.&nbsp; Of course, I glanced at the thing in proof,
+and thought it a splendid joke, but reading it this morning, I have
+come to the conclusion that something is wrong with Burrage.&nbsp; You
+remember his agitated manner the other day?&rdquo;&nbsp; I was about
+to reply, when Burrage was announced.&nbsp; His haggard and pale appearance
+startled both of us.&nbsp; &ldquo;My dear Burrage, what <i>is</i> the
+matter with you?&rdquo; we exclaimed simultaneously.&nbsp; He gave a
+sickly nervous smile.&nbsp; &ldquo;Of course you have sent to ask me
+about that review.&nbsp; Well, I have changed my opinions, I have altered.&nbsp;
+I think we should praise everything or ignore everything.&nbsp; To slate
+a book, good or bad, is taking the bread out of a fellow&rsquo;s mouth.&nbsp;
+I have been the chief sinner in this way, and I am going to be the first
+reformer.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Not in my paper,&rdquo; said Curtis, angrily.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Then we all fell to discussing that old question with all
+the warmth that North and the rest of you were doing just now.&nbsp;
+We lost our tempers and Curtis ended the matter by saying: &ldquo;I
+tell you what it is, Burrage, if you <!-- page 203--><a name="page203"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 203</span>ever
+bring out a book yourself I&rsquo;ll send it to you to review.&nbsp;
+You can praise it as much as you like.&nbsp; But don&rsquo;t let this
+occur again, with any one else&rsquo;s work.&rdquo;&nbsp; Burrage turned
+quite white, I thought, and Curtis, noticing the effect of his words,
+went up and taking him by the hand, added more kindly, &ldquo;My poor
+Burrage, are you quite well?&nbsp; I never saw you in so morbid a state
+before.&nbsp; All this is mere sentimentality&mdash;so different from
+your usual manly spirit.&nbsp; Go away for a change, to Brighton or
+Eastbourne, and you must come back with that wholesome contempt for
+your contemporaries that characterises most of your writings.&nbsp;
+I&rsquo;ll look over the matter this time, and we&rsquo;ll say no more
+about it.&rdquo;&nbsp; And here Curtis was so overcome that he dashed
+a tear from his eye.&nbsp; A few hours later I saw Burrage off to the
+sea.&nbsp; He was very strange in his manner.&nbsp; &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll
+never be quite the same again.&nbsp; If I only dared to tell you,&rdquo;
+he said.&nbsp; And the train rolled out of the station.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Some weeks later I was again in the editorial room and Curtis
+showed me a curiously bound book, printed on hand-made paper, entitled
+<i>Prejudices</i>.&nbsp; I had already <!-- page 204--><a name="page204"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 204</span>seen
+it.&nbsp; &ldquo;That book,&rdquo; Curtis remarked, &ldquo;ought to
+have been noticed long ago.&nbsp; I was keeping it for Burrage when
+he gets better.&nbsp; Shall I send it to him?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;<i>Prejudices</i> for some weeks had been the talk of London.&nbsp;
+It was a series of very ineffectual essays on different subjects.&nbsp;
+Sight, Colour, Sound, Art, Letters, and Religion were all dealt with
+in that highly glowing and original manner now termed <i>Style</i>.&nbsp;
+It was delightfully unwholesome and extraordinarily silly.&nbsp; Young
+persons had already begun to get foolish over it, and leaving the more
+stimulating pages of Mr. Pater they hailed the work as an earnest of
+the English Renaissance.&nbsp; Instead of stroking <i>Marius the Epicurean</i>
+they fondled a copy of <i>Prejudices</i>.&nbsp; I prophesied that Burrage
+would vindicate himself over it and that the public would hear very
+little of <i>Prejudices</i> in a year&rsquo;s time.&nbsp; The book was
+sent; and the first part of my prophecy was fulfilled, Burrage spared
+neither the author nor his admirers.&nbsp; The pedantry, the affected
+style, the cheap hedonism were all pitilessly exposed.&nbsp; London,
+rocked with laughter.&nbsp; Some of the admirers, with the <!-- page 205--><a name="page205"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 205</span>generosity
+of youth, nobly came to the rescue.&nbsp; They made a paper war and
+talked of &ldquo;The cruelty and cowardice of the attack,&rdquo; &ldquo;The
+stab in the dark,&rdquo; &ldquo;Journalistic marauding,&rdquo; &ldquo;Disappointed
+author turned critic.&rdquo;&nbsp; The slate was one that I am bound
+to say was <i>killing</i> in both senses of the word.&nbsp; A book less
+worthless could never have lived under it.&nbsp; It was one of those
+decisive reviews of all ages.&nbsp; <i>Prejudices</i> was withdrawn
+by the publisher fearful of damaging his prestige.&nbsp; Yet it was
+never looked on as a rarity, and fell at book auctions for a shilling,
+for some time after, amidst general tittering.&nbsp; The daily papers
+meanwhile devoted columns to the discussion.&nbsp; I telegraphed to
+Burrage in cipher and congratulated him, knowing that secrets leak out
+sometimes through the post office.&nbsp; I was surprised to get no reply
+for some weeks, but Curtis said he was lying low while the excitement
+lasted.&nbsp; One day I got a letter simply saying, &ldquo;For God&rsquo;s
+sake come.&nbsp; I am very ill.&rdquo;&nbsp; I went at once.&nbsp; How
+shall I describe to you the pitiful condition I found him in?&nbsp;
+The doctor told me he was suffering from incipient tuberculosis due
+to cerebral excitement and <!-- page 206--><a name="page206"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 206</span>mental
+trouble.&nbsp; When I went in to see him he was lying in bed, pale and
+emaciated as a corpse, surrounded by friends and relations.&nbsp; He
+asked every one to go out of the room; he had something of importance
+to say to me.&nbsp; I then learned what you have divined already.&nbsp;
+The anonymous author of <i>Prejudices</i> was no other than Quentin
+Burrage himself.&nbsp; Or rather not himself, but the other self of
+which neither I nor Curtis knew anything.&nbsp; He had been living a
+double existence.&nbsp; As a writer of trashy essays and verse, an incomplete
+sentimentalist surrounded by an admiring band of young ladies and gentlemen,
+he was not recognised as the able critic and the anonymous slater of
+the &ldquo;Acropolis.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;When he first received his own book for review he recalled
+the words of Curtis.&nbsp; He must be honest, impartial, and just.&nbsp;
+No one knew better the faults of <i>Prejudices</i>.&nbsp; As he began
+to write, the old spirit of the slater came over him.&nbsp; His better
+self conquered.&nbsp; He forgot for the moment that he was the author.&nbsp;
+He hardly realised the sting of his own sarcasms even when he saw them
+in proof.&nbsp; <!-- page 207--><a name="page207"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 207</span>It
+was not until it appeared, and the papers were full of the controversy,
+that the <i>cruelty</i> and <i>unfairness</i> of the attack dawned on
+him.&nbsp; I was much shocked at the confession, and the extraordinary
+duplicity of Burrage, who had been living a lie for the last ten years.&nbsp;
+His denunciation of poor Curtis pained me.&nbsp; I would have upbraided
+him, but his tortured face and hacking cough made me relent.&nbsp; I
+need not prolong the painful story.&nbsp; Burrage never recovered.&nbsp;
+He sank into galloping consumption, only aggravated by a broken heart.&nbsp;
+I saw him on his deathbed at Rome.&nbsp; He was attended by Strange,
+and died in his arms.&nbsp; His last words to me were, &ldquo;Rivers,
+tell Curtis I forgive him.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;We buried in the Protestant cemetery near Keats and Shelley
+one whose name was written in hot water.&nbsp; His sad death provoked
+a good deal of comment, as you may suppose.&nbsp; Strange has often
+promised to write his life.&nbsp; But he could never get through <i>Prejudices</i>,
+and I pointed out to him that you can hardly write an author&rsquo;s
+life without reading one of his works, even though he did die in your
+arms.&nbsp; That is the worst of literary <!-- page 208--><a name="page208"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 208</span>martyrs
+with a few brilliant exceptions: their works are generally dull.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Is that all?&rsquo; asked North.</p>
+<p>&lsquo;That is all, and I hope you understand the moral.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Perfectly; but your reminiscences have too much construction,
+my dear Rivers.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;The story is perfectly true for all that,&rsquo; remarked
+the Editor, drily.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 209--><a name="page209"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 209</span>A
+LITTLE DOCTORED FAUST.&nbsp; A Prologue.</h2>
+<p>&lsquo;The version of <i>Faust</i> which Mr. Stephen Phillips is
+contemplating will, it is interesting to learn from the author, be a
+&ldquo;compact drama,&rdquo; of which the spectacular embellishment
+will form no part.&nbsp; In Mr. Phillips&rsquo;s view the story is in
+itself so strong and so rich in all the elements that make for dramatic
+effectiveness that to treat the subject as one for elaborate scenic
+display would be to diminish the direct appeal of a great tragedy.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;First let me say,&rdquo; said Mr. Stephen Phillips, &ldquo;how
+gladly I approach a task which will bring me again into association
+with Mr. George Alexander, whose admirable treatment of <i>Paolo and
+Francesco</i>, you will no doubt remember.&nbsp; In the version of <i>Faust</i>
+which I am going to prepare there will be nothing spectacular, nothing
+to overshadow or intrude upon an immortal theme.&nbsp; As to how I shall
+treat the story, and as to the form in which it will be written, I am
+not yet sure&mdash;it may be a play in blank verse, or in prose with
+lyrics . . .&rdquo;&nbsp; Mr. Phillips added that he had also in view
+a play on the subject of <i>Harold</i>.&rdquo;&mdash;<i>The Tribune</i>.</p>
+<p><i>Scene: The British Museum</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sidney Colvin</span>.&nbsp; Ah! my dear Stephen,
+when they told me Phillips<br />
+Was waiting in my study, I imagined<br />
+<!-- page 210--><a name="page210"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 210</span>That
+it was Claude, whom I have been expecting.<br />
+I have arranged that you shall have this room<br />
+All to yourself and friends.&nbsp; Now I must leave you.<br />
+I have to go and speak to Campbell Dodgson<br />
+About some prints we&rsquo;ve recently acquired.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Stephen Phillips</span>.&nbsp; How can I ever
+thank you?&nbsp; Love to Binyon!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">[Colvin</span> <i>goes out</i>.</p>
+<p><i>Enter</i> Mr. <span class="smcap">George Alexander, Goethe, Marlowe,
+Gounod</span>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Alexander</span> (<i>from force of habit</i>).&nbsp;
+I always told you he was reasonable.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Goethe</span>.&nbsp; Well, I consent.&nbsp; Mein
+Gott! how colossal<br />
+You English are!&nbsp; &rsquo;Tis nigh impossible<br />
+For poets to refuse you anything,<br />
+And German thought beneath some English shade&mdash;<br />
+<i>Unter den Linden</i>, as we say at home&mdash;<br />
+Sounds really quite as well on British soil.<br />
+Our good friend Marlowe hardly seems so pleased.</p>
+<p><!-- page 211--><a name="page211"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 211</span><span class="smcap">Marlowe</span>.&nbsp;
+Oh, Goethe! cease these frivolous remarks.<br />
+Think you that I, who knew Elizabeth,<br />
+And tasted all the joys of literature<br />
+And played the dawn to Shakespeare&rsquo;s larger day,<br />
+And heralded a mighty line of verse<br />
+With half-a-dozen mighty lines my own,<br />
+Am feeling well?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gounod</span> (<i>brightening</i>).&nbsp; Ah!&nbsp;
+Monsieur Wells,<br />
+Auteur d&rsquo;une histoire fine et romanesque<br />
+Traduit par Davray; il a des id&eacute;es<br />
+C&rsquo;est une chose rare l&agrave;-bas . . .</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Stephen Phillips</span>.&nbsp; He does not speak
+of Huysmans; &rsquo;tis myself.<br />
+I thank you, gentlemen, with all my heart;<br />
+I thank you, gentlemen, with all my soul;<br />
+I thank you, sirs, with all my soul and strength.<br />
+So for your leave much thanks.&nbsp; You know my weakness:<br />
+I love to be at peace with all the past.<br />
+The present and the future I can manage;<br />
+The stirrup of posterity may dangle<br />
+Against the heaving flanks of Pegasus.<br />
+<!-- page 212--><a name="page212"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 212</span>I
+feel my spurs against the saucy mare<br />
+And Alexander turned Bucephalus.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Marlowe</span>.&nbsp; Neigh!&nbsp; Neigh! though
+you have told us what you are,<br />
+And we have witnessed Nero several times,<br />
+You do not tell us of this wretched Faustus,<br />
+Who must be damned in any case, I fear.</p>
+<p>S. P.&nbsp; Of course, I treat you as material<br />
+On which to work; but then I simplify<br />
+And purify the story for our stage.<br />
+The English stage is nothing if not pure.<br />
+For instance, we will not allow <i>Salom&eacute;</i>.<br />
+So in Act II. of <i>Faust</i> I represent<br />
+The marriage feast of beauteous Margaret;<br />
+Act I. I get from Goethe, III. from Marlowe,<br />
+And Gounod&rsquo;s music fills the gaps in mine.<br />
+Margaret, of course, will never come to grief.<br />
+She only gets a separation order.<br />
+By the advice of Plowden magistrate,<br />
+She undertakes to wean Euphorion,<br />
+Who in his bounding habit symbolises<br />
+The future glories of the English empire.<br />
+As the production must not cost too much,<br />
+Harker, Hawes Craven, Hann are relegated<br />
+To a back place.&nbsp; It is a compact drama,<br />
+Of which spectacular embellishment<br />
+<!-- page 213--><a name="page213"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 213</span>Will
+form no part.&nbsp; The story is so strong,<br />
+So rich in all the elements that make<br />
+A drama suitable for Alexander,<br />
+That scenery, if necessary to Tree,<br />
+Shall not intrude on this immortal theme.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Goethe</span>.&nbsp; Pyramidal!&nbsp; My friend,
+but you are splendid.<br />
+Now, have you shown the manuscript to Colvin?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Marlowe</span>.&nbsp; He is a scholar, and a
+ripe and good one,<br />
+And far too tolerant of modern poets.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Alexander</span>.&nbsp; One of your lines strike
+my familiar spirit.<br />
+Surely, that does not come from Stephen Phillips.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Marlowe</span>.&nbsp; No matter; I may quote
+from whom I will.<br />
+Shakespeare himself was not immaculate,<br />
+And borrowed freely from a barren past.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Goethe</span>.&nbsp; What thinks Herr Sidney
+Colvin of your work?</p>
+<p>S. P.&nbsp; That he will tell you when he sees it played.</p>
+<h3><!-- page 214--><a name="page214"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 214</span>Act
+I.</h3>
+<p><i>Scene: Faust&rsquo;s Studio</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Servant</span>.&nbsp; Well, if you have no further
+use for me,<br />
+I will go make our preparation.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; If anybody calls, say I am
+out;<br />
+I must have time to see how I will act.<br />
+As to the form in which I shall be written,<br />
+I must decide whether in prose or verse.<br />
+My thoughts I&rsquo;ll bend.&nbsp; Give me at once the <i>Times</i>:<br />
+Walkley I always find inspiriting&mdash;<br />
+And really I learn much about the drama<br />
+(Even the German drama) from his pen,<br />
+More curious than that of Paracelsus.<br />
+(<i>Reads</i>) &lsquo;Sic vos non vobis, Bernard Shaw might say,<br />
+Dieu et mon droit.&nbsp; Ich dien.&nbsp; Et taceat<br />
+Femina in ecclesia.&nbsp; Ellen Terry,<br />
+La plus belle femme de toutes les femmes<br />
+Du monde.&rsquo;&nbsp; Archer, I have observed,<br />
+Writes no more for the World, but for himself.<br />
+Then I forgot; he&rsquo;s writing for the <i>Leader</i>,<br />
+That highly independent Liberal paper.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">[Faust</span> <i>muses</i>.&nbsp; <i>Bell heard</i>.</p>
+<p><!-- page 215--><a name="page215"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 215</span>The
+Elixir of Life, is it a play<br />
+Which runs a thousand nights?&nbsp; Is it a dream<br />
+Precipitated into some alembic<br />
+Or glass retort by Ex-ray Lankester?</p>
+<p><i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Servant</span>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Servant</span>.&nbsp; A gentleman has called.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Say I am out.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Servant</span>.&nbsp; He will take no denial.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Show him in.<br />
+Most probably &rsquo;tis Herbert Beerbohm Tree,<br />
+Who long has planned a play of Doctor Faustus.</p>
+<p><i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mephistopheles</span>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mephistopheles</span>.&nbsp; Ah! my dear Doctor,
+here we are again!<br />
+Micawber-like, I never will desert you.<br />
+How do you feel?&nbsp; Your house I see myself<br />
+In perfect order.&nbsp; Ah! how much has past<br />
+Since those Lyceum days when you and I<br />
+Climbed up the Brocken on Walpurgis night.<br />
+That times have changed I realise myself;<br />
+No longer through the chimney I descend;<br />
+I enter like a super from the side.<br />
+Widowers&rsquo; Houses dramas have become;<br />
+Morals and sentiment and Clement Scott<br />
+<!-- page 216--><a name="page216"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 216</span>No
+more seem adjuncts of the English stage.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Oh, Mephistopheles, you come
+in time<br />
+To save the English drama from a deadlock!<br />
+Like Mahmud&rsquo;s coffin hung &rsquo;twixt Heaven and Earth,<br />
+It falters up to verse and down to prose.<br />
+Tell us, then, how to act, how consummate<br />
+The aspirations of our Stephen Phillips!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mephisto</span>.&nbsp; Ah, Alexander Faustus!
+young as ever,<br />
+Still unabashed by Paolo and Francesca,<br />
+You long for plays with literary motives,<br />
+Plots oft attempted both in prose and rhyme.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; As ever, you are timid and
+old-fashioned.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mephisto</span>.&nbsp; Hark you!&nbsp; One thing
+I know above all others,<br />
+The English drama of the century past.<br />
+Though English critics have consigned to me<br />
+The plays of Ibsen, Maeterlinck, and Shaw,<br />
+And Wilde&rsquo;s <i>Salom&eacute;</i>, none has ever reached me.<br />
+Back to their native land they must have gone,<br />
+Or else you have them here in Germany.<br />
+Only to me come down real British plays,<br />
+The mid-Victorian twaddle, the false gems<br />
+<!-- page 217--><a name="page217"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 217</span>Which
+on the stretched forefinger of oblivion<br />
+Glitter a moment, and then perish paste.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span> (<i>drily</i>).&nbsp; Well, if I
+learn of any critic&rsquo;s death<br />
+Leaving a vacant place upon the Press,<br />
+You&rsquo;ll hear from me; meanwhile, Mephisto mine,<br />
+As we must needs play out our little play,<br />
+Whom would you cast for Margaret, <i>alias</i> Gretchen?<br />
+Kindly sketch out an inexpensive <i>Faust</i>,<br />
+Modelled on the Vedrenne and Barker style<br />
+Once much in favour at the English Court.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mephisto</span>.&nbsp; The stage is now an auditorium,<br />
+And all the audiences are amateurs,<br />
+First-nighters at the bottom of their heart.<br />
+What do they care for drama in the least?<br />
+All that they need are complimentary stalls,<br />
+To know the leading actor, to be round<br />
+At dress rehearsals, or behind the scenes,<br />
+To hear the row the actor-manager<br />
+Had with the author or the leading lady,<br />
+Then to recount the story at the Garrick,<br />
+Where, lingering lovingly on kippered lies,<br />
+They babble over chestnuts and their punch<br />
+And stale round-table jests of years ago.</p>
+<p><!-- page 218--><a name="page218"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 218</span><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp;
+So Mephistopheles is growing old!<br />
+Kindly omit your stage philosophy,<br />
+And tell me all your plans about the play.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mephisto</span>.&nbsp; First we must make you
+young and fresh as paint,<br />
+Philters and elixirs are out of date.<br />
+A week in London&mdash;that is what you want;<br />
+London Society is our objective.<br />
+There you will find a not unlikely Gretchen,<br />
+For actresses are all the rage just now;<br />
+Countesses quarrel over Edna May,<br />
+And Mrs. Patrick Campbell is received<br />
+In the best houses.&nbsp; I shall introduce you<br />
+As a philosopher from T&uuml;bingen.<br />
+A sort of Nordau, no?&nbsp; Then Doctor Reich&mdash;<br />
+Advocates polyandry, children suffrage&mdash;<br />
+One man, one pianola; the usual thing<br />
+That will secure success: here is a card<br />
+For Thursday next&mdash;Lady Walpurge &lsquo;At Home&rsquo;<br />
+From nine till twelve&mdash;a really charming hostess.<br />
+Her ladyship is intellectual,<br />
+The husband rich, dishonest, a collector<br />
+Of <i>objets d&rsquo;art</i>, especially old masters.<br />
+He got his title for his promises<br />
+<!-- page 219--><a name="page219"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 219</span>To
+England in the war; financed the raid,<br />
+A patriot millionaire within whose veins<br />
+Imperial pints of German-Jewish blood<br />
+Must make the English think imperially,<br />
+And rather bear with all the ills they have<br />
+Than fly to others that they know not of.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Excellent plan!&nbsp; Except
+at Covent Garden,<br />
+I&rsquo;ve hardly been in England since the &rsquo;eighties.</p>
+<h3>Act II.</h3>
+<p><i>Scene: Brocken House, Park Lane</i>.</p>
+<p><i>The top of the Grand Staircase</i>.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Lord</span>
+<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Walpurge</span> <i>receiving their
+guests.&nbsp; The greatest taste is shown in the decorations, which
+are lent for the occasion of the play free of charge, owing to the deserved
+popularity of Mr. George Alexander.&nbsp; Furniture supplied by Waring,
+selected by Mr. Percy Macquoid; Old Masters by Agnew &amp; Son, P. &amp;
+D. Colnaghi, Dowdeswell &amp; Dowdeswell; Wigs by Clarkson.&nbsp; A
+large, full-length Reynolds, seen above the well of staircase</i>; <span class="smcap">r</span>.
+<i>a Gainsborough</i>, <span class="smcap">l.</span> <i>a Hoppner.&nbsp;
+The party is not very smart, rather intellectual and plutocratic; well-known
+musicians and artists in group</i> <span class="smcap">r</span>., <i>and
+second-rate literary people</i> <span class="smcap">l</span>.&nbsp;
+<i>An</i> <!-- page 220--><a name="page220"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 220</span><i>Irish
+peer and a member of the White Rose League are the only &lsquo;Society&rsquo;
+present.&nbsp; There are no actors or actresses</i>.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Faust</span>,
+<i>who has aged considerably since the Prologue, is an obvious failure,
+and is seen talking to a lady journalist</i>.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Mephistopheles</span>,
+<i>disguised as a Protectionist Member of Parliament, is in earnest
+conversation with</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Walpurge</span>.&nbsp;
+<span class="smcap">Footman</span> <i>announcing the guests: The Bishop
+of Hereford, Mr. Maldonado, Mr. Andrew Undershaft, Mr. Harold Hodge,
+Mrs. Gorringe, Mr. and Mrs. Aubrey Tanqueray, &amp;c</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Walpurge</span> (<i>archly</i>).&nbsp; Ah,
+Mr. Tanqueray, you never forwarded me my photographs; it is nearly three
+weeks ago since I sent you a cheque for them.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Tanqueray</span>.&nbsp; Labby has been poisoning
+your mind against me.&nbsp; You shall have a proof to-morrow!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Footman</span>.&nbsp; Mr. Gillow Waring.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Walpurge</span>.&nbsp; I was so afraid you
+were not coming.&nbsp; My husband thought you would give us the slip.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Waring</span>.&nbsp; How charming your decorations
+are!&nbsp; You must give me some ideas for my new yacht, you have such
+perfect taste.</p>
+<p><!-- page 221--><a name="page221"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 221</span><span class="smcap">Maldonado</span>.&nbsp;
+Walpurge! what will you take for that Reynolds?&nbsp; Or will you swap
+it for my Velasquez?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Walpurge</span>.&nbsp; My dear Maldo, I always
+do my deals through&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Footman</span>.&nbsp; Mr. Walter Dowdeswell.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Walpurge</span>.&nbsp; Through Dowdeswell and
+Dowdeswell; and you, my dear Maldo, if you want to get rid of your Velasquez,
+ought to join the National Art Collections Fund, or go and see&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Footman</span>.&nbsp; Mr. Lockett Agnew.&nbsp;
+&rsquo;Er &rsquo;Ighness the Princess Swami.</p>
+<p><i>Enter the</i> <span class="smcap">Princess Salom&eacute;</span>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Journalist</span>.&nbsp; Fancy having that
+woman here.&nbsp; She is not recognised in any decent society, she is
+nothing but an adventuress; talks such bad French, too.&nbsp; Have you
+ever seen her, Doctor Faustus?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Yes, I have met her very
+often in Germany.&nbsp; Though the Emperor would not receive her at
+first, she is much admired in Europe.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Journalist</span> (<i>hedging</i>).&nbsp;
+I wonder <!-- page 222--><a name="page222"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 222</span>where
+she gets her frocks?&nbsp; They must be worth a good deal.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; From Ricketts and Shannon,
+if you want to know.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Journalist</span>.&nbsp; Dear Doctor, you
+know everything!&nbsp; Let me see: Ricketts and Shannon is that new
+place in Regent Street, rather like Lewis and Allenby&rsquo;s, I suppose?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Yes, only different.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Irish Peer</span> (<i>to</i> <span class="smcap">Faust</span>).&nbsp;
+Do you think Lady Walpurge will ever get into Society?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span>.&nbsp; Not if she gives her guests
+such wretched coffee.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Journalist</span>.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s nothing
+to her tea.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ve never had such bad tea.&nbsp; Besides,
+she cannot get actors or actresses to come to her house.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lady Walpurge</span> (<i>overhearing</i>).&nbsp;
+I expect <i>Sir Herbert and Lady Beerbohm Tree</i> here to-night, and
+perhaps <span class="smcap">Viola</span>.&nbsp; (<i>Sensation</i>.)</p>
+<p>[<i>Enter, hurriedly</i>, <span class="smcap">Mr. C. T. H. Helmsley</span>.]&nbsp;
+Mr. Alexander, a moment with you!&nbsp; A most important telegram has
+just arrived.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Faust</span> (<i>reading</i>).&nbsp; &lsquo;Handed
+in at Greba Castle, 10.15.&nbsp; Reply paid.&nbsp; Do not close with
+Stephen Phillips until you have seen my <!-- page 223--><a name="page223"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 223</span>play
+of <i>Gretchen</i>, same subject, five acts and twelve tableaux.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Hall
+Caine</span>.&rsquo;&nbsp; Where is Mr. Stephen Phillips?&nbsp; [<span class="smcap">Stephen
+Phillips</span> <i>advances</i>.]&nbsp; My dear Phillips, I think we
+will put up <i>Harold Hodge</i> instead.&nbsp; &lsquo;The Last of the
+Anglo-Saxon Editors,&rsquo; by the last Anglo-Saxon poet.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Curtain</span>.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<p><i>To</i> W. <span class="smcap">Barclay Squire</span>, <span class="smcap">Esq</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 224--><a name="page224"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 224</span>SHAVIANS
+FROM SUPERMAN.</h2>
+<p><span class="smcap">Donna Ana</span> <i>has vanished to sup her man
+at the Savoy; the</i> <span class="smcap">Devil</span> <i>and the</i>
+<span class="smcap">Statue</span> <i>are descending through trap, when
+a voice is heard crying, &lsquo;Stop, stop&rsquo;; the mechanism is
+arrested and there appears in the empyrean</i> <span class="smcap">Mr.
+Charles Hazelwood Shannon</span>, <i>the artist, with halo</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span> (<i>while Shannon regains his
+breath</i>).&nbsp; Really, Mr. Shannon, this is a great pleasure and
+<i>quite</i> unexpected.&nbsp; I am truly honoured.&nbsp; No quarrel
+I hope with the International?&nbsp; Pennell quite well?&nbsp; How is
+the Whistler memorial getting on?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp; So-so.&nbsp; To be quite
+frank I had no time to prepare for Heaven, and earth has become intolerable
+for me.&nbsp; (<i>Seeing the Statue</i>.)&nbsp; Is that a Rodin you
+have there?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Oh! I forgot, let me
+introduce you.&nbsp; Commander!&nbsp; Mr. C. H. Shannon, a most distinguished
+painter, the English Velasquez, the Irish Titian, the Scotch Giorgione,
+all in one.&nbsp; Mr. Shannon, his Excellency the Commander.</p>
+<p><!-- page 225--><a name="page225"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 225</span><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp;
+Delighted, I am sure.&nbsp; The real reason for my coming here is that
+I could stand Ricketts no longer.&nbsp; Ricketts the artist I adore.&nbsp;
+Ricketts the causeur is delightful.&nbsp; Ricketts the enemy, entrancing.&nbsp;
+Ricketts the friend, one of the best.&nbsp; But Ricketts, when designing
+dresses for the Court, Trench, and other productions, is not very amiable.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span> (<i>sighing</i>).&nbsp; Ah!
+yes, I know Ricketts.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span> (<i>sighing</i>).&nbsp; We all
+know Ricketts.&nbsp; Never mind, he shall not come here.&nbsp; I shall
+give special orders to Charon.&nbsp; Come on to the trap and we can
+start for the palace.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp; Ah! yes.&nbsp; I heard
+you were moving to the Savoy.&nbsp; Think it will be a success?</p>
+<p>[<i>They descend and no reply is heard.&nbsp; Whisk!&nbsp; Mr. Frank
+Richardson on this occasion does not appear; void and emptiness; the
+fireproof curtain may be lowered here in accordance with the County
+Council regulations; moving portraits of deceased, and living dramatic
+critics can be thrown without risk of ignition on the curtain by magic
+lantern</i>.&nbsp; <!-- page 226--><a name="page226"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 226</span><i>The
+point of this travesty will be entirely lost to those who have not read
+&lsquo;Man and Superman.&rsquo;&nbsp; It is the first masterpiece in
+the English literature of the twentieth century.&nbsp; It is also necessary
+to have read the dramatic criticisms in the daily press, and to have
+some acquaintance with the Court management, the Stage Society, and
+certain unlicensed plays; and to know that Mr. Ricketts designs scenery.&nbsp;
+This being thoroughly explained, the Curtain may rise; discovering a
+large Gothic Hall, decorated in the 1880 taste.&nbsp; Allegories by
+Watts on the wall</i>&mdash;&lsquo;<i>Time cutting the corns of Eternity,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Love whistling down the ear of Life,&rsquo; &lsquo;Youth catching
+Crabs,&rsquo; &amp;c.&nbsp; Windows by Burne-Jones and Morris.&nbsp;
+A Peacock Blue Hungarian Band playing music on Dolmetsch instruments
+by Purcell, Byrde, Bull, Bear, Palestrina, and Wagner, &amp;c.&nbsp;
+Various well-known people crowd the Stage.&nbsp; Among the</i> <span class="smcap">living</span>
+<i>may be mentioned Mr. George Street; Mr. Max Beerbohm and his brother;
+Mr. Albert Rothenstein and his brother, &amp;c.&nbsp; The company is
+intellectual and artistic; not in any way smart.&nbsp; The Savile and
+Athen&aelig;um Clubs are well represented, but not the Garrick, the
+Gardenia, nor any of the establishments in the vicinity of Leicester
+Square.&nbsp; The Princess Salom&eacute; is greeting</i> <!-- page 227--><a name="page227"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 227</span><i>some
+of the arrivals</i>&mdash;<i>The Warden of Keble, The President of Magdalen
+Coll., Oxford, and others&mdash;who stare at her in a bewildered fashion</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Silence, please, ladies
+and gentlemen, for his Excellency the Commander.&nbsp; (<i>A yellowish
+pallor moves over the audience; effect by Gordon Craig</i>.)</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span>.&nbsp; It was my intention
+this evening to make a few observations on flogging in the Navy, Vaccination,
+the Censor, Vivisection, the Fabian Society, the Royal Academy, Compound
+Chinese Labour, Style, Simple Prohibition, Vulgar Fractions, and other
+kindred subjects.&nbsp; But as I opened the paper this morning, my eye
+caught these headlines: &lsquo;Future of the House of Lords,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Mr. Edmund Gosse at home,&rsquo; &lsquo;The Nerves of Lord Northcliffe,&rsquo;
+&lsquo;Interview with Mr. Winston Churchill,&rsquo; &lsquo;Reported
+Indisposition of Miss Edna May.&rsquo;&nbsp; A problem was thus presented
+to me.&nbsp; Will I, shall I, ought I to speak to my friends <i>here</i>&mdash;ahem!&mdash;and
+elsewhere, on the subject about which they came to hear me speak.&nbsp;
+(<i>Applause</i>.)&nbsp; No.&nbsp; I said; the bounders must be disappointed;
+otherwise <!-- page 228--><a name="page228"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 228</span>they
+will know what to expect.&nbsp; You must always surprise your audience.&nbsp;
+When it has been advertised (sufficiently) that I am going to speak
+about the truth, for example, the audience comes here expecting me to
+speak about fiction.&nbsp; The only way to surprise them is to speak
+the truth and that I always do.&nbsp; Nothing surprises English people
+more than truth; they don&rsquo;t like it; they don&rsquo;t pay any
+attention to those (such as my friend Mr. H. G. Wells and myself) who
+<i>trade</i> in truth; but they listen and go away saying, &lsquo;How
+very whimsical and paradoxical it all is,&rsquo; and &lsquo;What a clever
+adventurer the fellow is, to be sure.&rsquo;&nbsp; &lsquo;That was a
+good joke about duty and beauty being the same thing&rsquo;&mdash;that
+was a joke I did <i>not</i> make.&nbsp; It is not my kind of joke&mdash;but
+when people begin ascribing to you the jokes of other people, you become
+a living&mdash;I was going to say statue&mdash;but I mean a living classic.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; I thought you disliked
+anything classic?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span>.&nbsp; Ahem! only <i>dead</i>
+classics&mdash;especially when they are employed to protect romanticism.&nbsp;
+Dead classics are the protective <!-- page 229--><a name="page229"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 229</span>tariffs
+put on all realism and truth by bloated idealism.&nbsp; In a country
+of plutocrats, idealism keeps out truth: idealism is more expensive,
+and therefore more in demand.&nbsp; In America, there are more plutocrats,
+and therefore more idealists . . . as Mr. Pember Reeves has pointed
+out in New Zealand . . .</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; But I say, is this drama?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span>.&nbsp; Certainly not.&nbsp;
+It is a discussion taking place at a theatre.&nbsp; It is no more drama
+than a music-hall entertainment, or a comic opera, or a cinematograph,
+or a hospital operation, all of which things take place in theatres.&nbsp;
+But surely it is more entertaining to come to a discussion charmingly
+mounted by Ricketts&mdash;discussion too, in which every one knows what
+he is going to say&mdash;than to flaccid plays in which the audience
+always knows what the actors <i>are</i> going to say better often than
+the actors.&nbsp; The sort of balderdash which Mr. --- serves up to
+us for plays.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span> (<i>peevish and old-fashioned</i>).&nbsp;
+I wish you would define drama.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Hankin</span> (<i>advancing</i>).&nbsp; Won&rsquo;t
+you have tea, Commander?&nbsp; It&rsquo;s not bad tea.</p>
+<p><!-- page 230--><a name="page230"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 230</span><span class="smcap">The
+Statue</span>.&nbsp; I was afraid you were going to talk idealism.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Hankin</span> (<i>aside</i>).&nbsp; Excuse my
+interrupting, but I want you to be particularly nice to the Princess
+Salom&eacute;.&nbsp; You know she was jilted by the Censor.&nbsp; She
+has brought her music.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; You might introduce her
+to Mrs. Warren.&nbsp; But I am afraid the Princess has taken rather
+too much upon herself this evening.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span>.&nbsp; Yes, she has taken too
+much; I am sure she has taken too much.</p>
+<p>A <span class="smcap">Journalist</span>.&nbsp; Is that the Princess
+Salom&eacute; who has Mexican opals in her teeth, and red eyebrows and
+green hair, and curious rock-crystal breasts?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Yes, that is the Princess
+Salom&eacute;.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp; I know the Princess quite
+well.&nbsp; Ricketts makes her frocks.&nbsp; Shall I ask her to dance?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Yes, anything to distract
+her attention from the guests.&nbsp; These artistic English people are
+so easily shocked.&nbsp; They don&rsquo;t understand Strauss, nor indeed
+anything <!-- page 231--><a name="page231"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 231</span>until
+it is quite out of date.&nbsp; I want to make Hell at least as attractive
+as it is painted; a <i>place</i> as well as a <i>condition</i> within
+the meaning of the Act.&nbsp; Full of wit, beauty, pleasure, freedom&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Statue</span>.&nbsp; Ugh&mdash;ugh.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp; Will you dance for us,
+Princess?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; Anything for you,
+dear Mr. Shannon, only my ankles are a little sore to-night.&nbsp; How
+is dear Ricketts?&nbsp; I want new dresses so badly.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Shannon</span>.&nbsp; I suppose by this time
+he is in Heaven.&nbsp; But won&rsquo;t you dance just to make things
+go?&nbsp; And then the Commander will lecture on super-maniacs later
+on!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; Se&ntilde;or Diavolo,
+what will you give me if I dance to-night?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Anything you like, Salom&eacute;.&nbsp;
+I swear by the dramatic critics.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Hankin</span> (<i>correcting</i>).&nbsp; You
+mean the Styx.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Same thing.&nbsp; Dance
+without any further nonsense, Salom&eacute;.&nbsp; Forget that you are
+in England.&nbsp; This is an unlicensed house.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">[Salom&eacute;</span> <i>dances the dance of
+the Seven Censors</i>.</p>
+<p><!-- page 232--><a name="page232"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 232</span><span class="smcap">The
+Devil</span> (<i>applauding</i>).&nbsp; She is charming.&nbsp; She is
+quite charming.&nbsp; Salom&eacute;, what shall I do for you?&nbsp;
+You who are like a purple patch in some one else&rsquo;s prose.&nbsp;
+You who are like a black patch on some one else&rsquo;s face.&nbsp;
+You are like an Imperialist in a Radical Cabinet.&nbsp; You are like
+a Tariff Reformer in a Liberal-Unionist Administration.&nbsp; You are
+like the Rokeby Velasquez in St. Paul&rsquo;s Cathedral.&nbsp; What
+can I do for you who are fairer than&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; This sort of thing
+has been tried on me before.&nbsp; Let us come to business.&nbsp; I
+want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s head on a four-wheel cab.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; No, not that.&nbsp; You
+must not ask that.&nbsp; I will give you Walkley&rsquo;s head.&nbsp;
+He has one of the best heads.&nbsp; He is not ignorant.&nbsp; He really
+knows what he is talking about.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; I want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s
+head on a four-wheel cab.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Salom&eacute;, listen
+to me.&nbsp; Be reasonable.&nbsp; Do not interrupt me.&nbsp; I will
+give you William Archer&rsquo;s head.&nbsp; He is charming&mdash;a cultivated,
+liberal-minded critic.&nbsp; He is <!-- page 233--><a name="page233"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 233</span>too
+liberal.&nbsp; He admires Stephen Phillips.&nbsp; I will give you his
+dear head if you release me from my oath.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; I want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s
+head on the top of a four-wheel cab.&nbsp; Remember your oath!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; I remember I swore <i>at</i>&mdash;I
+mean <i>by</i>&mdash;the dramatic critics.&nbsp; Well, I am offering
+them to you.&nbsp; Exquisite and darling Salom&eacute;, I will give
+you the head of Max Beerbohm.&nbsp; It is unusually large, but it is
+full of good things.&nbsp; What a charming ornament for your mantelpiece!&nbsp;
+You will be in the movement.&nbsp; How every one will envy you!&nbsp;
+People will call upon you who never used to call.&nbsp; Others will
+send you invitations.&nbsp; You will at last get into English society.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; I want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s
+head on the top of a four-wheel cab.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Salom&eacute;, come hither.&nbsp;
+Have you ever looked at the <i>Daily Mirror</i>?&nbsp; Only in the <i>Daily
+Mirror</i> should one look.&nbsp; For it tells the truth sometimes.&nbsp;
+Well, I will give you the head of Hamilton Fyfe.&nbsp; He is my best
+friend.&nbsp; No critic is so fond of the drama as Hamilton Fyfe.&nbsp;
+(<i>Huskily</i>.)&nbsp; Salom&eacute;, I <!-- page 234--><a name="page234"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 234</span>will
+give you W. L. Courtney&rsquo;s head.&nbsp; I will give you all their
+heads.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; I have the scalps
+of most critics.&nbsp; I want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s head on a four-wheel
+cab.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Salom&eacute;!&nbsp;
+You do not know what you ask.&nbsp; Mr. Redford is a kind of religion.&nbsp;
+He represents the Lord Chamberlain.&nbsp; You know the dear Lord Chamberlain.&nbsp;
+You would not harm one of his servants, especially when they are not
+insured.&nbsp; It would be cruel.&nbsp; It would be irreligious.&nbsp;
+It would be in bad taste.&nbsp; It would not be respectable.&nbsp; Listen
+to me; I will give you all Herod&rsquo;s Stores . . . Salom&eacute;.&nbsp;
+Shannon was right.&nbsp; You <span class="smcap">have</span> taken too
+much, or you would not ask this thing.&nbsp; See, I will give you Mr.
+Redford&rsquo;s body, but not his head.&nbsp; Not that, not that, my
+child.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Salom&eacute;</span>.&nbsp; I want Mr. Redford&rsquo;s
+head on a four-wheel cab.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">The Devil</span>.&nbsp; Salom&eacute;, I must
+tell you a secret.&nbsp; It is terrible for me to have to tell the truth.&nbsp;
+The Commander said that I would have to tell the truth.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Mr.
+Redford has no head</span>!</p>
+<p>[<i>The audience long before this have begun to put on their cloaks,
+and the dramatic</i> <!-- page 235--><a name="page235"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 235</span><i>critics
+have gone away to describe the cold reception with which the play has
+been greeted.&nbsp; All the people on the stage cover their heads except
+the</i> <span class="smcap">statue</span>, <i>who has become during
+the action of the piece more and more like Mr. Bernard Shaw.&nbsp; Curtain
+descends slowly</i>.</p>
+<p>(1907.)</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Arthur Clifton, Esq</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 236--><a name="page236"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 236</span>SOME
+DOCTORED DILEMMA.</h2>
+<p><span class="smcap">A New Epilogue for the Last Performance of Mr.
+Shaw&rsquo;s Play</span>.</p>
+<p>Though Mr. Bernard Shaw has set the fashion in prologues for modern
+plays, his admirers were not altogether satisfied with the epilogue
+to <i>The Doctor&rsquo;s Dilemma</i>.&nbsp; It is far too short; and
+leaves us in the dark as to whom &lsquo;Jennifer Dubedat&rsquo; married.&nbsp;
+Epilogues, as students of English drama remember, were often composed
+by other authors.&nbsp; The following experiment ought to have come
+from the hand of Mr. St. John Hankin, that master of Dramatic Sequels,
+but his work on the &lsquo;Cassilis Engagement&rsquo; deprived Mr. Shaw
+of the only possible collaborator.</p>
+<p>[<span class="smcap">Scene</span>: <i>A Bury Street Picture Gallery</i>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Messrs.
+Gersaint &amp; Co</span>.&nbsp; <i>The clock strikes ten, and</i> <span class="smcap">Sir
+Colenso Ridgeon</span> <i>is seen going out rather crestfallen by centre
+door</i>.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Mr. Gersaint</span>, <i>the manager,
+is nailing up a notice</i> <!-- page 237--><a name="page237"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 237</span>(&lsquo;<i>All
+works of art, for art&rsquo;s sake or sale; prices on application.&nbsp;
+Catalogue</i> 1<i>s</i>.).&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Mr. Jack Stepney</span>,
+<i>the secretary, is receiving the private view cards from the visitors
+who are trooping in; some sneak catalogues as they enter, and on being
+asked for payment protest and produce visiting cards and press vouchers
+instead of shillings.&nbsp; Artists, Royal Academicians</i>, <span class="smcap">Mr.
+Edmund Gosse</span>, <i>and other members of the House of Lords discovered;
+men of letters, art critics, connoisseurs, journalists, collectors,
+dealers, private viewers, impostors, dramatic critics, poets, pickpockets,
+politicians crowd the stage.&nbsp; From time to time</i> <span class="smcap">Jack
+Stepney</span> <i>places a red star on the picture frames in the course
+of the action</i>.]</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">J. Stepney</span>.&nbsp; I thought all the pictures
+had been bought by Dr. Schutzmacher.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp; So they were, my boy,
+but he has wired saying they are all to be put up for sale at double
+the price; capital business, you see we shall get two commissions.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">J. Stepney</span>.&nbsp; Yes, sir.&nbsp; It is
+fortunate Mrs. Dubedat did not have the prices marked in the Catalogue.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp; You mean Mrs. Schutzmacher.&nbsp;
+(<i>Drives in last nail</i>).</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">J. Stepney</span>.&nbsp; Yes, sir.</p>
+<p><!-- page 238--><a name="page238"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 238</span><i>Enter
+a striking-looking-man, not unlike a Holbein drawing, at a distance:
+but on nearer inspection, as he comes within range of the footlights,
+he is more like an Isaac Oliver or Nicholas Lucidel.&nbsp; He examines
+the notice and sniffs</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">s.l.m.n.u.h.d</span>.&nbsp; Which are the works
+of Art?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Edmund Gosse</span>.&nbsp; Can you tell me who
+that is?&nbsp; He is one of the few people I don&rsquo;t know by sight.&nbsp;
+A celebrity of course; and do point out any obscurities.&nbsp; Every
+one is so distinguished.&nbsp; It is rather confusing.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp; That is the Holland Park
+Wonder, so-called because he lives at the top of a tower in Holland
+Park&mdash;the greatest Art Connoisseur in England.&nbsp; Mr. Charles
+Ricketts, the greatest&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Edmund Gosse</span>.&nbsp; Thank you; thank you.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Frederick Wedmore</span> (<i>interrupting</i>).&nbsp;
+Can you tell me whether the frames are included in the prices of the
+pictures?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">J. Stepney</span>.&nbsp; No, sir.&nbsp; They
+are stock frames, the property of the Gallery, and are only lent for
+the occasion.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Frederick Wedmore</span>.&nbsp; Then I fear
+I <!-- page 239--><a name="page239"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 239</span>cannot
+buy; a naked picture without a frame is useless to me.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Charles Ricketts</span>.&nbsp; Do you think I
+could buy a frame without a picture?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Joseph Pennell</span>.&nbsp; I say Ricketts,
+it seems a beastly shame we didn&rsquo;t get this show for the International.&nbsp;
+It would have been good &lsquo;ad.&rsquo;&nbsp; What&rsquo;s the use
+of Backers?&nbsp; I see they&rsquo;re selling well.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Charles Ricketts</span>.&nbsp; But, my dear Pennell,
+you&rsquo;re doing the <i>Life</i>, aren&rsquo;t you?&mdash;the real
+Dubedat?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Joseph Pennell</span>.&nbsp; Oh, yes, but the
+family have injuncted Heinemann from publishing the letters: Mr. Justice
+Kekewich will probably change his opinion when the weather gets warmer.&nbsp;
+It is only an interim injunction.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Charles Ricketts</span>.&nbsp; A sort of Clapham
+Injunction.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir William Richmond, K.C.B., R.A</span>.&nbsp;
+If I had known what a stupendous genius Dubedat was, I should have given
+him part of the &lsquo;New Bailey&rsquo; to decorate.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">D. S. MacColl</span>.&nbsp; Let us be thankful
+he&rsquo;s as dead as Bill Bailey.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Charles Holroyd</span> (<i>smoothing things</i>
+<!-- page 240--><a name="page240"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 240</span><i>over</i>).&nbsp;
+I think we ought to have an example for the Tate.&nbsp; (<span class="smcap">MacColl</span>
+<i>winces</i>.)&nbsp; The Chantrey Bequest&mdash;(<span class="smcap">MacColl</span>
+<i>winces again</i>)&mdash;might do something; and I must write to Lord
+Balcarres.&nbsp; The National Arts Collections Fund may have something
+over from the subscriptions to the Rokeby Velasquez; but I want to see
+what Colvin is going to choose for the British Museum.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sidney Colvin</span>.&nbsp; I think we might
+have this drawing; it stands on its legs.&nbsp; A most interesting fellow
+Dubedat.&nbsp; He reminds me of Con&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">George Moore</span>.&nbsp; Not Stevenson, though
+<i>he</i> had no talent whatever.&nbsp; My dear Mr. Colvin, have you
+ever read &lsquo;Vailima Letters&rsquo;?&nbsp; I have read parts of
+them.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sidney Colvin</span> (<i>coldly</i>).&nbsp; Ah,
+really!&nbsp; Did you suffer very much?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Hugh P. Lane</span>.&nbsp; Do you think,
+Mr. Gersaint, the artist&rsquo;s widow would give me one of the pictures
+for the Dublin Gallery?&nbsp; We have no money at all.&nbsp; <i>I have
+no money</i>, but all the artists are giving pictures: Sargent, Shannon,
+Lavery, Frank Dicksee; and Rodin is giving a plaster cast.</p>
+<p><!-- page 241--><a name="page241"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 241</span><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp;
+How charming and insinuating you are, Sir Hugh.&nbsp; We can make special
+reductions for the Dublin Gallery, but you can hardly expect charitable
+bequests from picture dealers.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Hugh P. Lane</span>.&nbsp; Oh! but Dowdeswell,
+Agnew, Sulley, Wertheimer, P. and D. Colnaghi, and Humphry Ward are
+all giving me pictures.&nbsp; Now, look here, I&rsquo;ll buy these five
+drawings, and you can give me these two.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll give you a
+Gainsborough drawing in exchange for them.&nbsp; It has a very good
+history.&nbsp; First it belonged to Ricketts, then to Rothenstein, then
+Wilson Steer, and then to the Carfax Gallery, and . . . then it came
+into my possession, and all that in three months.&nbsp; (<i>Bargain
+concluded</i>.)</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Pffungst</span> (<i>aside</i>).&nbsp; But
+is there any evidence that it belonged to Gainsborough?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Hugh P. Lane</span> (<i>turning to a titled
+lady</i>).&nbsp; Oh, do come to tea next Saturday.&nbsp; I want to show
+you my new Titian which I <i>have just bought for</i> 2100<i>l</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Titled Lady</span>.&nbsp; Sir Hugh, <i>can</i>
+you tell me who Mrs. Dubedat is now?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Hugh P. Lane</span>.&nbsp; Oh, yes.&nbsp;
+She married <!-- page 242--><a name="page242"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 242</span>Dr.
+Schutzmacher, the specialist on bigamy only this morning.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Titled Lady</span>.&nbsp; How interesting.&nbsp;
+I should like to meet her.&nbsp; Dresses divinely, I&rsquo;m told.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir Hugh P. Lane</span>.&nbsp; She&rsquo;s coming
+to tea next Saturday; such good tea, too!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Titled Lady</span>.&nbsp; That will be delightful.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">St. John hankin</span> (<i>loftily</i>).&nbsp;
+Can you tell me whether this charmian artist is pronounced Dub&eacute;dat
+or Dub&egrave;dat?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">W. P. Ker</span> (<i>in deep Scotch</i>).&nbsp;
+Non Dubitat.&nbsp; (<i>He does not speak again</i>.)</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">P. G. Konody</span>.&nbsp; Oh, Mr. Phillips,
+do tell me <i>exactly</i> what <i>you</i> think of this artist!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Claude Phillips</span>.&nbsp; I think he wanted
+a good smacking.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">P. G. Konody</span>.&nbsp; Ah, yes, his art <i>has</i>
+a smack about it.&nbsp; (<i>Aside</i>.)&nbsp; Good heading for the <i>Daily
+Mail</i>, &lsquo;Art with a smack.&rsquo;&nbsp; (<i>Writes in catalogue</i>.)</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Will Rothenstein</span>.&nbsp; When I see pictures
+of this kind, my dear Gersaint, they seem to me to explain your existence.&nbsp;
+An artist without a conscience . . . (<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Roger
+Fry</span>.)&nbsp; My dear Fry, what are <i>you</i> doing here?&nbsp;
+Buying for New York? (<i>Laughs meaningly</i>.)</p>
+<p><!-- page 243--><a name="page243"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 243</span><span class="smcap">Roger
+Fry</span>.&nbsp; Oh, no; but I hear Gersaint has a very fine picture
+by the Ma&icirc;tresse of the Moulin Rouge.&nbsp; Weale says it is School
+of Gheel (<i>pronounced Kail</i>).</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Will Rothenstein</span>.&nbsp; Kail Yard I should
+think; do look at these things.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roger Fry</span> (<i>vaguely</i>).&nbsp; Who
+are they by?&nbsp; Oh, yes, Dubedat, of course.</p>
+<p>[<span class="smcap">Fry</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Rothenstein</span>
+<i>regard picture with disdain</i>; <i>it withers under their glance</i>.&nbsp;
+<i>Stage illusion by</i> <span class="smcap">Maskelyne</span> <i>and</i>
+<span class="smcap">Theodore Cook</span>.&nbsp; <span class="smcap">Stepney</span>
+<i>places a red star on it</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp; Well, Mr. Bowyer Nichols,
+I hope we shall have a good long notice in the <i>Westminster Gazette</i>.&nbsp;
+Now if there is any drawing . . .</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bowyer Nichols</span> (<i>very stiffly</i>).&nbsp;
+No, there isn&rsquo;t.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t think the Exhibition sufficiently
+important; everything seems to me cribbed: most of the pictures look
+like reproductions of John, Orpen or Neville Lytton.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Gersaint</span>.&nbsp; Ah, no doubt, influenced
+by Neville Lytton.&nbsp; That portrait of Mr. Cutler Walpole has a Neville
+Lytton feeling.&nbsp; Neville Lytton in his earlier manner.</p>
+<p><!-- page 244--><a name="page244"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 244</span><i>Enter</i>
+<span class="smcap">Sir Patrick Cullen</span>, <span class="smcap">Sir
+Ralph Bloomfield Bonnington</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Sir
+Colenso Ridgeon</span>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir C. Ridgeon</span>.&nbsp; Ah, Sir Patrick,
+I have just heard that the pictures are for sale; now I am going to
+plunge a little.&nbsp; I think they will rise in value; and by the way
+I want to ask your opinion as a scientific man.&nbsp; If I treat four
+artists with <i>virus obsc&aelig;num</i> for three weeks, what will
+be the condition of the remaining artists in the fourth week?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir P. Cullen</span>.&nbsp; Colenso, Colenso,
+you ought to have been a senior wrangler and then abolished.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir C. Ridgeon</span>.&nbsp; What a cynic you
+are.&nbsp; All the same I&rsquo;ve had great successes, though Dubedat
+<i>was</i> one of our failures.&nbsp; A rather an&aelig;mic member of
+the New English Art Club come to me for treatment, and in less than
+a year he was an Associate of the Royal Academy; what do you say to
+that?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir P. Cullen</span>.&nbsp; Out of Phagocyte,
+out of mind.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir R. B. B</span>.&nbsp; My dear Sir Patrick,
+how prejudiced you are.&nbsp; Take MacColl&rsquo;s case: a typical instance
+of <i>morbus ferox ars nova</i> <!-- page 245--><a name="page245"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 245</span><i>anglicana</i>:
+under dear Colenso he became an official at the Tate.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir C. Ridgeon</span>.&nbsp; Then there&rsquo;s
+Sir Charles Holroyd, you remember his high tempera?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir P. Cullen</span>.&nbsp; There has been a
+relapse I hear from the catalogue.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir R. B. B</span>.&nbsp; How grossly unfair;
+that is a false bulletin issued by the former nurse: &lsquo;the evil
+that men do lives after them.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Sir P. Cullen</span>.&nbsp; My dear B. B., this
+is not Dubedat&rsquo;s funeral.&nbsp; Do you think Bernard Shaw will
+like the new epilogue?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bernard Shaw</span>.&nbsp; He will; I&rsquo;m
+shaw.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">L. C. C. Inspector</span>.&nbsp; Excuse me, is
+Mr. Vedrenne here?&nbsp; Ah, yes!&nbsp; There is Mr. Vedrenne.&nbsp;
+Will you kindly answer some of my questions?&nbsp; Is that door on the
+left a real door?&nbsp; In case of fire I cannot allow property doors;
+the actors might be seized with stage fright, and they must have, as
+Sir B. B. would say, &lsquo;their exits and their entrances.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Vedrenne</span>.&nbsp; Everything at the Court
+Theatre, my dear sir, is real.&nbsp; Ask Mr. Franks, he will tell you
+the door is not even a jar.&nbsp; The art, the acting, the plays, even
+the audience is real, except a few dramatic critics I <!-- page 246--><a name="page246"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 246</span>cannot
+exclude.&nbsp; I admit the audience looks improbable at matin&eacute;es;
+<i>out of Court</i> is a truth in art of which we are only dimly beginning
+to understand the significance.&nbsp; [<i>Noise outside</i>.</p>
+<p><i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Jennifer</span>, <i>dressed in deep
+mourning</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Jennifer</span> (<i>with a bright smile</i>).&nbsp;
+Mr. Vedrenne, I have just had a telegram saying that my husband, Leo,
+was killed in his motor after leaving me at the Synagogue.&nbsp; His
+last words were: &lsquo;Jennifer, promise me that you will wear mourning
+if I die, merely to mark the difference between Dubedat and myself.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+This afternoon I am going to marry Blenkinsop.&nbsp; How are the sales
+going?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Vedrenne</span>.&nbsp; Well, I think we might
+have the catechism or the churching of heroines.&nbsp; What is your
+name?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Jennifer</span>.&nbsp; Jennifer.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Vedrenne</span>.&nbsp; Where did you get that
+name?</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Jennifer</span>.&nbsp; From Bernard Shaw in my
+baptism.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Redford</span> (<i>Licenser of Plays</i>).&nbsp;
+Mr. Shaw, I really must point out that this passage comes from the Anglican
+Prayer-book.&nbsp; Are you aware of that?&nbsp; I have a suggestion
+of my own for ending the play.</p>
+<p><!-- page 247--><a name="page247"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 247</span><span class="smcap">Bernard
+Shaw</span>.&nbsp; Oh, shut up!&nbsp; Let us have my ten commandments.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Granville Barker</span>.&nbsp; My dear Shaw,
+you sent them to Wells for revision and he lost them in the Tube.&nbsp;
+I can remember the first one, &lsquo;Maude spake these words and said:
+&ldquo;Thou shalt have none other Shaws but me.&rdquo;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bernard Shaw</span>.&nbsp; How careless of Wells.&nbsp;
+I remember the second: &lsquo;Do not indulge in craven imitation.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">W. L. Courtney</span>.&nbsp; The third commandment
+runs: &lsquo;Thou shalt not covet George Alexander.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Granville Barker</span>.&nbsp; One of them runs:
+&lsquo;Do not commit yourself to Beerbohm Tree, though his is His Majesty&rsquo;s
+. . . &rsquo;&nbsp; But we shall never get them right.&nbsp; We must
+offer a reward for their recovery.&nbsp; I vote that Walkley now says
+the <i>credo</i>.&nbsp; That, I think, expresses every one&rsquo;s sentiment.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">A. B. Walkley</span> (<i>reluctantly</i>).&nbsp;
+I believe in Bernard Shaw, in Granville Barker, and (<i>heartily</i>)
+in <i>The Times</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">William Archer</span>.&nbsp; Plaudite, missa
+est.</p>
+<p>(1907.)</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Curtain</span>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 248--><a name="page248"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 248</span>THE
+JADED INTELLECTUALS.&nbsp; A Dialogue.</h2>
+<p><i>Scene: The Smoking-room of the Elivas Club</i>.</p>
+<p><i>Characters</i>: <span class="smcap">Laudator Temporeys</span>,
+<i>&aelig;tat. 54, a distinguished literary critic, and</i> <span class="smcap">Luke
+Cullus</span>, <i>a rich connoisseur of art and life.&nbsp; They are
+not smoking nor drinking spirits.&nbsp; One is sipping barley water,
+the other Vichy</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Luke Cullus</span>.&nbsp; You are a dreadful
+pessimist!</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Laudator Temporeys</span>.&nbsp; Alas! there
+is no such thing in these days.&nbsp; We are merely disappointed optimists.&nbsp;
+When Walter Pater died I did not realise that English literature expired.&nbsp;
+Yet the event excited hardly any interest in the Press.&nbsp; Our leading
+weekly, the <i>Spectator</i>, merely mentioned that Brasenose College,
+Oxford, had lost an excellent Dean.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; I can hardly understand you.&nbsp; Painting, I admit,
+is entirely a lost art, so far as England is concerned.&nbsp; The death
+of Burne-Jones <!-- page 249--><a name="page249"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 249</span>brought
+our tradition to an end.&nbsp; I see no future for any of the arts except
+needlework, of which, I am told, there is a hopeful revival.&nbsp; But
+in your fields of literature, what a number of great names!&nbsp; How
+I envy you!</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; Who is there?</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; Well, to take the novelists first: you have the great
+Thomas Hardy, H. G. Wells, Henry James, Rudyard Kipling, Maurice Hewlett
+. . . I can&rsquo;t remember the names of any others just at present.&nbsp;
+Then take the poets: Austin Dobson, my own special favourite; and among
+the younger men, A. E. Housman, Laurence Housman, Yeats, Arthur Symons,
+Laurence Binyon, William Watson&mdash;</p>
+<p>L. T. (<i>interrupting</i>).&nbsp; Who always keeps one foot in Wordsworth&rsquo;s
+grave.&nbsp; But all the men you mention, my dear Cullus, belong to
+the last century.&nbsp; They have done their best work.&nbsp; Hardy
+has become mummy, and Henry James is sold in Balham.&nbsp; Except Hardy,
+they have become unintelligible.&nbsp; The theory that &lsquo;to be
+intelligible is to be found out&rsquo; seems to have frightened them.&nbsp;
+The <!-- page 250--><a name="page250"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 250</span>books
+they issue are a series of &lsquo;not-at-home&rsquo; cards&mdash;sort
+of P.P.C.&rsquo;s on posterity.&nbsp; And the younger poets, too, belong
+to the last century, or they stand in the same relation to their immediate
+predecessors, to borrow one of your metaphors, as <i>l&rsquo;art nouveau</i>
+does to Chippendale.&nbsp; Oh, for the days of Byron, Keats, and Shelley!</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; All of whom died before they were matured.&nbsp; You
+seem to resent development.&nbsp; In literature I am a mere <i>dilettante</i>.&nbsp;
+A fastidious reader, but not an expert.&nbsp; I know what I don&rsquo;t
+like; but I never know what I shall like.&nbsp; At least twice a year
+I come across a book which gives me much pleasure.&nbsp; As it comes
+from the lending library it is never quite new.&nbsp; That is an added
+charm.&nbsp; If it happens to have made a sensation, the sensation is
+all over by the time it reaches me.&nbsp; The book has matured.&nbsp;
+A quite new book is always a little crude.&nbsp; It suggests an evening
+paper.&nbsp; There at least you will agree.&nbsp; But to come across
+a work which Henry James published, say, last year, is, I assure you,
+like finding a Hubert Van Eyck in the Brompton Road.</p>
+<p><!-- page 251--><a name="page251"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 251</span>L.
+T.&nbsp; I wish I could share your enthusiasm, or that I could change
+places with you.&nbsp; Every year the personality of a new artist is
+revealed to you.&nbsp; I know you only pretend not to admire the modern
+school of painting.&nbsp; You find it a convenient pose.&nbsp; Your
+flora and your fauna are always receiving additions; while my garden
+is withered; my zoo is out of repair.&nbsp; The bars are broken; the
+tanks have run dry.&nbsp; There is hardly a trace of life except in
+the snake-house, and, as I mentioned, the last giraffe is dead.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; Our friend, Dr. Chalmers Mitchell, is fortunately able
+to give us a different account of the institution in Regent&rsquo;s
+Park.&nbsp; You are quite wrong about modern painting.&nbsp; None of
+the younger men can paint at all.&nbsp; A few of them can draw, I admit.&nbsp;
+It is all they can do.&nbsp; The death of Charles Furse blasted all
+my hopes of English art.&nbsp; Whistler is dead; Sargent is an American.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; Well, so is Henry James, if it comes to that.&nbsp; And
+so <i>was</i> Whistler.&nbsp; But I have seen the works of several young
+artists who I understand are carrying out the great traditions of painting.&nbsp;
+Ricketts, Shannon, Wilson <!-- page 252--><a name="page252"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 252</span>Steer,
+Rothenstein, Orpen, Nicholson, Augustus John are surely worthy successors
+to Turner, Alfred Stevens, and the Pre-Raphaelites.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; They are merely connoisseurs gifted with expressing their
+appreciation of the past in paint.&nbsp; They appeal to you as a literary
+man.&nbsp; You like to detect in every stroke of their brushes an echo
+of the past.&nbsp; Their pictures have been <i>heard</i>, not <i>seen</i>.&nbsp;
+All the younger artists are committing burglary on the old masters.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; It is you who are a disappointed optimist.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; Not about literature or the drama.&nbsp; I seem to hear,
+with Ibsen&rsquo;s &lsquo;Master Builder,&rsquo; the younger generation
+knocking at the door.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; It comes in without knocking in my experience; and generally
+has <i>fig</i>-leaves in its hair&mdash;a decided advance on the coiffure
+of Hedda Gabler&rsquo;s lover.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; But look at Bernard Shaw.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; Why should I look at Bernard Shaw?&nbsp; I read his plays
+and am more than ever convinced that he has gone on the wrong lines.&nbsp;
+His was the opportunity.&nbsp; He made <i>il gran</i> <!-- page 253--><a name="page253"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 253</span><i>refuto</i>.&nbsp;
+Some one said that George Saintsbury never got over the first night
+of <i>Hernani</i>.&nbsp; Shaw never recovered the <i>premi&egrave;re</i>
+of <i>Ghosts</i>.&nbsp; He roofed our Thespian temple with Irish slate.&nbsp;
+His disciples found English drama solid brick and leave it plaster of
+Paris.&nbsp; Yet Shaw might have been another Congreve.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; <i>Troja fuit</i>.&nbsp; We do not want another.&nbsp;
+I am sure you never went to the Court at all.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; Oh, yes, I attended the last <i>lev&eacute;e</i>.&nbsp;
+But the drama is too large a subject, or, in England, too small a subject
+to discuss.&nbsp; We live, as Professor Mahaffy has reminded us, in
+an Alexandrian age.&nbsp; We are wounded with arch&aelig;ology and exquisite
+scholarship, and must drag our slow length along . . . We were talking
+about literature.&nbsp; Where are the essayists, the Lambs, and the
+Hazlitts?&nbsp; I know you are going to say Andrew Lang; I say it every
+day; it is like an Amen in the Prayer-book; it occurs quite as frequently
+in periodical literature.&nbsp; He <i>was</i> my favourite essayist,
+during the <i>last</i> fifteen years of the <i>last</i> century.&nbsp;
+What is he now?&nbsp; An historian, a folk-lorist, an arch&aelig;ologist,
+a controversialist.&nbsp; <!-- page 254--><a name="page254"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 254</span>I
+believe he is an expert on portraits of Mary Stuart.&nbsp; You were
+going on to say G. K. Chesterton&mdash;</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; No.&nbsp; I was going to say Max Beerbohm.&nbsp; Some
+of his essays I put beside Lamb&rsquo;s, and above Hazlitt&rsquo;s.&nbsp;
+He has style; but then I am prejudiced because he is the only modern
+artist I really admire.&nbsp; He is a superb draughtsman and our only
+caricaturist.&nbsp; Then there is George Moore.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t
+care for his novels, but his essays are delightful.&nbsp; George Moore
+really counts.&nbsp; Few people know so little about art; yet how delightfully
+he writes about it.&nbsp; Everything comes to him as a surprise.&nbsp;
+He gives you the same sort of enjoyment as you would derive from hearing
+a nun preach on the sins of smart society.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; Moore is one of many literary Acteons who have mistaken
+Diana for Aphrodite.</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; You mean he is great dear; but he gets hold of the right
+end of the stick.</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; And he generally soils it.&nbsp; But you know nothing
+about literature.&nbsp; The age requires blood and Kipling gave it Condy&rsquo;s
+Fluid (<i>drinks barley water</i>).&nbsp; The age requires <!-- page 255--><a name="page255"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 255</span>life,
+and Moore gave us a gallantee show from Montmartre (<i>drinks barley
+water</i>).&nbsp; Even I require life.&nbsp; To-morrow I am off to Aix.</p>
+<p>L. C.&mdash;les Bains?</p>
+<p>L. T.&nbsp; No, la-Chapelle!</p>
+<p>L. C.&nbsp; Oh, then we shall probably meet.&nbsp; Thanks.&nbsp;
+I can get on my own overcoat.&nbsp; I shall probably be there myself
+in a few weeks.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 256--><a name="page256"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 256</span>ABBEY
+THOUGHTS.</h2>
+<p>Shall some memorial of Herbert Spencer be erected in the Abbey, or
+rather in what journalists love to call the &lsquo;National Valhalla,&rsquo;
+the &lsquo;English Pantheon,&rsquo; or the &lsquo;venerable edifice,&rsquo;
+where, as Macaulay says, the dust of the illustrious accusers, <i>et
+cetera</i>&mdash;&mdash;?&nbsp; The question was once agitated in a
+daily paper.&nbsp; It seems that the Dean, when approached on the subject,
+acted like one of his predecessors in the case of Byron.&nbsp; The Dean
+is in a very difficult position, because any decision of his must be
+severely criticised from one quarter or another.&nbsp; The Abbey retains,
+I understand, some of its pre-Reformation privileges, and is not under
+the jurisdiction of Bishop or Archbishop.&nbsp; Yet no one who has ever
+visited the Chapel of St. Edward the Confessor on October 13th, the
+festival of his translation, can accuse the Abbey authorities of bigotry
+or narrow-mindedness.&nbsp; Only a few years ago I fought my way, with
+<!-- page 257--><a name="page257"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 257</span>other
+Popish pilgrims, to the shrine of our patron Saint (as he <i>was</i>,
+until superseded by Saint George in the thirteenth century), and there
+I indulged in overt acts of superstition violating Article XXII. of
+&lsquo;the Church of England by law established.&rsquo;&nbsp; A verger,
+with some colonial tourists, arrived during our devotions, but his voice
+was lowered out of regard for our feelings.&nbsp; Indeed, both he and
+the tourists adopted towards us an attitude of respectful curiosity
+(not altogether unpleasant), which was in striking contrast to the methods
+of the continental <i>Suisse</i> routing out worshippers from a side
+chapel of a Catholic church in order to show Baedeker-ridden sightseers
+an altar-piece by Rotto Rotinelli.</p>
+<p>Thoughts of Cranmer, Latimer, and Ridley irresistibly mingled with
+my devotions.&nbsp; What had the poor fellows burnt for, after all?&nbsp;
+Here we were ostentatiously ignoring English history and the adjacent
+Houses of Parliament; outraging the rubrics by ritual observations for
+which poor curates in the East End are often suspended, and before now
+have been imprisoned.&nbsp; I could not help thinking that the Archbishop
+of Westminster would hardly <!-- page 258--><a name="page258"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 258</span>care
+to return these hospitalities, by permitting, on August 24th, a memorial
+service for Admiral Coligny in Westminster Cathedral. . . . I rose from
+my knees a new Luther, with something like a Protestant feeling, and
+scrutinised severely the tombs in Poets&rsquo; Corner.&nbsp; Even there
+I found myself confronted with an almost irritating liberalism.&nbsp;
+Here was Alexander Pope, who rejected all the overtures of Swift and
+Atterbury to embrace the Protestant faith.&nbsp; And there was Dryden,
+not, perhaps, a great ornament to my persuasion, but still a Catholic
+at the last.&nbsp; Dean Panther had not grudged poet Hind his niche
+in the National Valhalla (I knew I should be reduced to that periphrasis).&nbsp;
+And here was the mighty Charles Darwin, about whose reception into the
+English Pantheon (I have fallen again) I remember there was some trouble.&nbsp;
+Well, if precedent embalms a principle, I venture to raise a thin small
+voice, and plead for Herbert Spencer.&nbsp; &lsquo;The English people,&rsquo;
+said a friendly French critic, &lsquo;do not admire their great men
+because they were great, but because they reflect credit on themselves.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+So on the score of national vanity <!-- page 259--><a name="page259"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 259</span>I
+claim space for Herbert Spencer.&nbsp; Very few Englishmen have exercised
+such extraordinary influence on continental opinion, which Beaconsfield
+said was the verdict of posterity.&nbsp; On the news of his death, the
+Italian Chamber passed a vote of condolence with the English people.&nbsp;
+I suppose that does not seem a great honour to Englishmen, but to me,
+an enemy of United Italy, it seemed a great honour, not only to the
+dead but to the English people.&nbsp; Can you imagine the Swiss Federal
+Council sending us a vote of condolence on the death of Mr. Hall Caine
+or Mr. Robert Hichens?</p>
+<p>Again, though it is ungrateful of me to mention the fact after my
+experiences of October 13th, the Abbey was not built nor endowed by
+people who anticipated the Anglican form of worship being celebrated
+within its walls, though I admit it has been <i>restored</i> by the
+adherents of that communion.&nbsp; The image of Milton, to take only
+one instance, would have been quite as objectionable to Henry III. or
+Abbot Islip as those of Darwin or Spencer.&nbsp; The emoluments bequeathed
+by Henry VII. and others for requiem masses are now devoted to the education
+<!-- page 260--><a name="page260"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 260</span>of
+Deans&rsquo; daughters and Canons&rsquo; sons.&nbsp; Where incensed
+altars used to stand, hideous monuments of the sixteenth, seventeenth,
+and eighteenth centuries wound the Gothic air with their monstrous ornaments
+and inapposite epitaphs.&nbsp; St. Paul&rsquo;s may fairly be held sacred
+to Anglicanism, and I do not think any one would claim sepulture within
+its precincts for one who was avowedly hostile to Christian or Anglican
+sentiment.&nbsp; But I think the Abbey has now passed into the category
+of museums, and might well be declared a national monument under control
+of the State.&nbsp; The choir, and possibly the nave, should, of course,
+be severely preserved for whatever the State religion might be at the
+time.&nbsp; Catholics need not mourn the secularisation of the transepts
+and chapels, because Leo XIII. renounced officially all claims on the
+ancient shrines of the Catholic faith, and High Churchmen might console
+themselves by recalling the fact that Abbots were originally laymen.</p>
+<p>My whole scheme would be a return to the practice of the Primitive
+Church, when priests were only allowed on sufferance inside abbeys <!-- page 261--><a name="page261"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 261</span>at
+all.&nbsp; The Low Church party need not be considered, because they
+can have no sentiment about what they regard as relics of superstition
+and Broad Churchmen could hardly complain at the logical development
+of their own principle.&nbsp; The Nonconformists, the backbone of the
+nation, could not be otherwise than grateful.&nbsp; The decision about
+admitting busts, statues, or bodies into the national and sacred &lsquo;mus&eacute;e
+des morts&rsquo; (as the anti-clerical French might call it under the
+new constitution) would rest with the Home Secretary.&nbsp; This would
+be an added interest to the duties of a painstaking official, forming
+pleasant interludes between considering the remission of sentences on
+popular criminals: it would relieve the Dean and Chapter at all events
+from grave responsibility.&nbsp; The Home Secretary would always be
+called the Abbot of Westminster.&nbsp; How picturesque at the formation
+of a new Cabinet&mdash;&lsquo;<i>Home Secretary and Abbot of Westminster</i>,
+the Right Hon. Mr. So-and-So.&rsquo;&nbsp; The first duty of the Abbot
+will be to appoint a Royal Commission to consider the removal of hideous
+monuments which disfigure the edifice: nothing prior to 1700 coming
+<!-- page 262--><a name="page262"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 262</span>under
+its consideration.&nbsp; A small tablet would recall what has been taken
+away.&nbsp; Herbert Spencer&rsquo;s claim to a statue would be duly
+considered, and, I hope, by a unanimous vote some of the other glaring
+gaps would be filled up.&nbsp; If the Abbey is full of obscurities,
+very dim religious lights, many of the illustrious names in our literature
+have been omitted: Byron, Shelley, Keats&mdash;to mention only these.&nbsp;
+There is no monument to Chatterton, one of the more powerful influences
+in the romantic movement, nor to William Blake, whose boyish inspiration
+was actually nourished amid that &lsquo;Gothic supineness,&rsquo; as
+Mr. MacColl has finely said of him.&nbsp; Of all our poets and painters
+Blake surely deserves a monument in the grey church which became to
+him what St. Mary Redcliffe was to Chatterton.&nbsp; A window adapted
+from the book of Job (with the marvellous design of the Morning Stars)
+was, I am told, actually offered to, and rejected by, the late Dean.&nbsp;
+To Dante Gabriel Rossetti and the wonderful movement of which he was
+the dynamic force there should also be a worthy memorial; to Water Pater,
+the superb aside of English prose; to Cardinal Manning, <!-- page 263--><a name="page263"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 263</span><i>the</i>
+Ecclesiastic of the nineteenth century; and Professor Huxley, that master
+of dialectics.</p>
+<p>A young actor of my acquaintance, who bore the honoured name of Siddons,
+was invited to take part in the funeral service of the late Sir Henry
+Irving.&nbsp; His step-father was connected by marriage with the great
+actress, and he was very proud of his physical resemblance to her portrait
+by Reynolds.&nbsp; He had played with great success the part of Fortinbras
+in the provinces, and Mr. Alexander has assured me that he was the ideal
+impersonator of Rosencrantz.&nbsp; It was an open secret that he had
+refused Mr. Arthur Bourchier&rsquo;s offer of that <i>r&ocirc;le</i>
+in a proposed revival of <i>Hamlet</i> at the Garrick.&nbsp; Since the
+burial of Sir Henry Irving in the Abbey, <i>he has never been seen</i>:
+though I saw him myself in the funeral <i>cort&eacute;ge</i>.&nbsp;
+All his friends remember the curious exaltation in his manner a few
+days before the ceremony, and I cannot help thinking that in a moment
+of enthusiasm, realising that this was his only chance of burial in
+the Abbey, he took advantage of the bowed unobservant heads during the
+prayer of Committal and crept beneath the pall into the great actor&rsquo;s
+tomb.&nbsp; What his <!-- page 264--><a name="page264"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 264</span>feelings
+were at the time, or afterwards when the vault was bricked up, would
+require the introspective pen of Mr. Henry James and the curious imagination
+of Mr. H. G. Wells to describe.&nbsp; I have been assured by the vergers
+that mysterious sounds were heard for some days after this historical
+occasion.&nbsp; Distressed by the loss of my friend, I applied to the
+Dean of Westminster and finally to Scotland Yard.&nbsp; I need not say
+that I was met with sacerdotal indifference on the one hand and with
+callous officialism on the other.&nbsp; I hope that under the Royal
+Commission which I have appointed the mystery will be cleared up.&nbsp;
+Not that I begrudge poor Siddons a niche with Garrick and Irving.</p>
+<p>(1906.)</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Professor James Mayor</span>, <i>Toronto
+University</i>.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 265--><a name="page265"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 265</span>THE
+ELETHIAN MUSE.</h2>
+<p>After chaperoning into Fleet Street the eleventh Muse, the rather
+Batavian lady who is not to be found in that Greek peerage, Lempriere&rsquo;s
+Dictionary, an obliging correspondent from Edinburgh (an eminent writer
+to the Signet in our northern Thebes) inquired if there were any more
+muses who had escaped the students of comparative mythology.&nbsp; It
+is in response to his letter that I now present, as Mr. Charles Frohman
+would say, the thirteenth, the Elethian Muse.</p>
+<p>Yet I can fancy people asking, Where is the twelfth, and over what
+art or science does she preside?&nbsp; According to Apollodorus (in
+a recently recovered fragment from Oxyrynchus), Jupiter, suffering from
+the chronic headaches consequent on his acrimonious conversations with
+Athena, decided to consult Vulcan, &AElig;sculapius having come to be
+regarded as a quack.&nbsp; Mulciber (as we must now call him, <!-- page 266--><a name="page266"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 266</span>having
+used the name Vulcan once), suggested an extraordinary remedy, one of
+the earliest records of a hom&oelig;opathic expedient.&nbsp; He prescribed
+that the king of gods and men should keep his ambrosial tongue in the
+side of his cheek for half an hour three times a day.&nbsp; The operation
+produced violent retching in the Capitoline stomach.&nbsp; And on the
+ninth day, from his mouth, quite unarmed, sprang the twelfth muse.&nbsp;
+The other goddesses were very disgusted; and even the gods declined
+to have any communication with the new arrival.&nbsp; Apollo, however,
+was more tolerant, and offered her an asylum on the top shelf of the
+celestial library.&nbsp; Ever afterwards Musagetes used to be heard
+laughing immoderately, even for a librarian to the then House of Lords.&nbsp;
+Jupiter, incensed at this irregularity, paid him a surprise visit one
+day in order to discover the cause.&nbsp; He stayed, however, quite
+a long time; and the other deities soon contracted the habit of taking
+their nectar into the library.&nbsp; With the decline of manners, the
+twelfth muse began to be invited to dessert, after Juno and the more
+reputable goddesses had retired.&nbsp; To cut a long story short, when
+<!-- page 267--><a name="page267"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 267</span>Pan
+died, in the Olympian sense very shortly afterwards, all the gods, as
+we know, took refuge on earth.&nbsp; Jupiter retired to Iceland, Aphrodite
+to Germany, Apollo to Picardy, but the twelfth muse wandered all over
+Europe, and found that she was really more appreciated than her sisters.&nbsp;
+The castle, the abbey, the inn, the lone ale-house on the Berkshire
+moors, all made her welcome.&nbsp; Finally she settled in Ireland, where,
+according to a protestant libel, she took the black veil in a nunnery.</p>
+<p>She is older than the chestnuts of Vallombrosa.&nbsp; Perhaps of
+all the ancient goddesses time has chilled her least.&nbsp; Her unfathomable
+smile wears a touch of something sinister in it, but she has a new meaning
+for every generation.&nbsp; And yet for Aretino there was some further
+magic of crimson on her lips and cheeks, lost for us.&nbsp; She is a
+solecism for the convalescent, and has given consolation to the brave.&nbsp;
+She has been a diver in rather deep seas and a climber in somewhat steep
+places.&nbsp; Her censers are the smoking-rooms of clubs; and her presence-lamps
+are schoolboys&rsquo; lanterns.&nbsp; Though held the friend of liars
+and <!-- page 268--><a name="page268"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 268</span>brutes,
+she has lived on the indelicacies of kings, and has made even pontiffs
+laugh.&nbsp; Her mysteries are told in the night-time, and in low whispers
+to the garish day.&nbsp; She lingers over the stable-yard (no doubt
+called <i>mews</i> for that reason).&nbsp; Her costly breviaries, embellished
+with strange illuminations, are prohibited under Lord Campbell&rsquo;s
+Act.&nbsp; Stars mark the places where she has been.&nbsp; Sometimes
+a scholar&rsquo;s fallacy, a sworn foe to Dr. Bowdler, she is Notre
+Dame de Milet, our Lady of Limerick.</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>But it is of her sister I would speak, the thirteenth sister, who
+was created to keep the eleventh in countenance.&nbsp; She presides
+over the absurdities of prose.&nbsp; She is responsible for the stylistic
+flights of Pegasus when, owing to the persuasive eloquence of the Hon.
+Stephen Coleridge, his bearing-rein has been abolished, and he kicks
+over the traces.</p>
+<p>It was the Elethian Muse who inspired that Oxford undergraduate&rsquo;s
+peroration to his essay on the Characteristics of St. John&rsquo;s Gospel&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;Furthermore, we may add that St. John&rsquo;s
+Gospel <!-- page 269--><a name="page269"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 269</span>is
+characterised by a tone of fervent piety which is totally wanting in
+those of the other Evangelists&rsquo;&mdash;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>and she hovered over the journalist who, writing for a paper which
+we need not name, referred to Bacchus as</p>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;that deity whose identity in Greek and Roman mythology
+is inseparably connected with the over-indulgence of intoxicating liquors.&rsquo;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>There are prose beauties, Elethian jewels, hidden away in Baedeker&rsquo;s
+mines of pregnant information and barren fact.&nbsp; I know it is fashionable
+to sneer at Baedeker, especially when you are writing little rhapsodies
+about remoter parts of Italy, where you have found his knowledge indispensable,
+if exiguous.&nbsp; You must always kick away the ladder when you arrive
+at literary distinction.&nbsp; I, who am still climbing and still clinging,
+can afford to be more generous.&nbsp; Let me, therefore, crown Baedeker
+with an essayist&rsquo;s parsley, or an academic laurel, ere I too become
+selfish, forgetful, egoistical, and famous.</p>
+<p>In <i>Southern France</i>, 1891 edition, p. 137, you find&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>To the Pic de Nere, 3&frac34; hrs. from Luz, there and
+back 6&frac12; hrs.; a delightful excursion, which can be <!-- page 270--><a name="page270"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 270</span>made
+on horseback part of the way: guide 12, horse 10 fr.; <i>adders abound</i>.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>For synthetic prose you will have to go to Tacitus to find the equal
+of that passage.&nbsp; No more is heard of the excursion.&nbsp; &lsquo;We
+leave Luz by the Barege road,&rsquo; the text goes on to say.&nbsp;
+Reflections and picturesque word-painting are left for Mr. Maurice Hewlett,
+Mr. Arthur Symons, and Murray.</p>
+<p>In <i>Southern Italy</i>, Baedeker yields to softer and more Virgilian
+influences.&nbsp; The purple patches are longer and more frequent.&nbsp;
+On page 99 we learn not only how to get to Baiae, but that</p>
+<blockquote><p>Luxury and profligacy, however, soon took up their abode
+at Baiae, and the desolate ruins, which now alone encounter the eye,
+point the usual moral!</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>And from the preface to the same guide we obtain this remarkable
+advice:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>The traveller should adopt the Neapolitan custom of rejecting
+fish that are not quite fresh.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>But it is certain educational works, popular in my childhood, that
+have yielded the more exotic Elethian blossoms for my Anthology.&nbsp;
+There are passages I would not willingly let die.&nbsp; In one of these
+books general knowledge <!-- page 271--><a name="page271"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 271</span>was
+imparted after the manner of Magnall: &lsquo;What is the world?&nbsp;
+The earth on which we live.&rsquo;&nbsp; &lsquo;Who was Raphael?&rsquo;&nbsp;
+&lsquo;How is rice made?&rsquo;&nbsp; After such desultory interrogatives,
+without any warning, came Question 15: &lsquo;Give the character of
+Prince Potemki&rsquo;:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Sordidly mean, ostentatiously prodigal, filthily intemperate
+and affectedly refined.&nbsp; Disgustingly licentious and extravagantly
+superstitious, a brute in appetite, vigorous though vacillating in action.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Until I went to the University, a great many years afterwards, I
+never learnt who Potemki was.&nbsp; At the age of seven he stood to
+me for what &lsquo;Timberio&rsquo; still is for Capriote children.&nbsp;
+My teacher obviously did not know.&nbsp; She always evaded my inquiries
+by saying, &lsquo;You will know when you are older, darling.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+Suspecting her ignorance, I became pertinacious.&nbsp; &lsquo;When I
+am as old as you?&rsquo; was my ungallant rejoinder.&nbsp; I had to
+write the character out a hundred times.&nbsp; Then one Christmas Day
+I ventured to ask my father, who said I would find out about him in
+Gibbon.&nbsp; But I knew he was not speaking the truth, because he laughed
+in a nervous, peculiar way, and added that since I was so fond of <!-- page 272--><a name="page272"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 272</span>history
+I must go to Oxford when I was older.&nbsp; I loathed history, and inwardly
+resolved that Cambridge should be my University.&nbsp; My mother admitted
+entire ignorance of Potemki&rsquo;s identity; and on my sketching his
+character (for I was proud of the knowledge), said he was obviously
+a &lsquo;horrid&rsquo; man.&nbsp; His personality shadowed my childhood
+with a deadly fascination, which has not entirely worn away; producing
+the same sort of effect on me as an imaginary portrait by Pater.</p>
+<p>In a semi-geographical work called <i>Near Home; or, Europe Described</i>,
+published by Hatchards in the fifties (though my friend, Mr. Arthur
+Humphreys, denies all knowledge of it), I can recall many stereos of
+dialectic cast in a Socratic mould:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p><i>Q</i>.&nbsp; What is the religion of the Italians?&nbsp;
+<i>A</i>.&nbsp; They are Roman Catholics.</p>
+<p><i>Q</i>.&nbsp; What do the Roman Catholics worship?&nbsp; <i>A</i>.&nbsp;
+Idols and a piece of bread.</p>
+<p><i>Q</i>.&nbsp; Would not God be very angry if He knew the Italians
+worshipped idols and a piece of bread?&nbsp; <i>A</i>.&nbsp; God IS
+very angry.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Mr. Augustine Birrell, if still interested in educational phenomena,
+will not be surprised to learn that when I reached to man&rsquo;s estate
+I <!-- page 273--><a name="page273"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 273</span>&lsquo;embraced
+the errors of Rome,&rsquo; as my historical manual would have phrased
+it.</p>
+<p>I pity the child who did not learn universal history from Collier.&nbsp;
+How tame are the periods of Lord Acton, the Rev. William Hunt, Froude,
+Freeman, Oman, Round, even Macaulay, and little Arthur, beside the rich
+Elethian periods of William Francis Collier.&nbsp; Not Berenson, not
+Byron, not Beerbohm, have given us such a picture of Venice as Collier
+in describing the Council of Ten:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>The ten were terrible; but still more terrible were the
+three inquisitors&mdash;two black, one red&mdash;appointed in 1454.&nbsp;
+Deep mystery hung over the three.&nbsp; They were elected by the ten;
+none else knew their names.&nbsp; Their great work was to kill; and
+no man&mdash;doge, councillor, or inquisitor&mdash;was beyond their
+reach.&nbsp; Secretly they pronounced a doom; and ere long the stiletto
+or the poison cup had done its work, or the dark waters of the lagoon
+had closed over a life.&nbsp; The spy was everywhere.&nbsp; No man dared
+to speak out, for his most intimate companions might be on the watch
+to betray him.&nbsp; Bronze vases, shaped like a lion&rsquo;s mouth,
+gaped at the corner of every square to receive the names of suspected
+persons.&nbsp; Gloom and suspicion haunted gondola and hearth!!</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>It is owing to Collier that I know at least one fact about the Goths
+who took Rome, <!-- page 274--><a name="page274"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 274</span>&lsquo;having
+reduced the citizens to feed on mice and nettles, <span class="smcap">a.d.</span>
+546,&rsquo; a diet to which many of the hotel proprietors in the imperial
+city still treat their clients.</p>
+<p>But let <i>Bellows&rsquo; Dictionary</i>, a friend and instructor
+of riper years, close my list of great examples and my theme.&nbsp;
+The criticism is apposite to myself, and its only oddity&mdash;its Elethian
+quality, if I may say so&mdash;is its presence in that marvellous miniature
+whose ingenious author you would never suspect could have found room
+for such portentous observations in the small duodecimo to which he
+confined himself:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>Unaffected language is the inseparable accompaniment
+of natural refinement; but that affectation which would make up for
+paucity of thought by overstrained expression is a mark of vulgarity
+from which no accident of social position can redeem those who are guilty
+of it.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">More Adey, Esq.</span></p>
+<h2><!-- page 275--><a name="page275"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 275</span>THERE
+IS NO DECAY.</h2>
+<p><i>A Lecture delivered in the Old Bluecoat School, Liverpool, on
+February 12th, 1908</i>.</p>
+<blockquote><p>&lsquo;In every age there is some question raised as
+to its wants and powers, its strength and weakness, its great or small
+worth and work; and in every age that question is waste of time and
+speech.&nbsp; To a small soul the age which has borne it can appear
+only as an age of small souls; the pigmy brain and emasculate spirit
+can perceive in its own time nothing but dwarfishness and emasculation.&nbsp;
+Each century has seemed to some of its children an epoch of decadence
+and decline in national life and spiritual, in moral or material glory;
+each alike has heard the cry of degeneracy raised against it, the wave
+of emulous impotence set up against the weakness of the age.&rsquo;&mdash;<span class="smcap">Swinburne</span>.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Before the invention of printing, or let me say before the cheapening
+of printing, the lecturer was in a more fortunate position than he is
+to-day; because, if a learned man, he was able to give his audience
+certain pieces of information which he could be fairly sure <i>some</i>
+of his listeners had never heard before.&nbsp; The arrival in town or
+city of Abelard, Paracelsus, or Erasmus, to take the first instances
+<!-- page 276--><a name="page276"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 276</span>occurring
+to me, must have been a great event, the importance of which we can
+scarcely appreciate at the present day.&nbsp; It must have excited our
+forefathers, at least as much as the arrival of Sir Herbert Beerbohm
+Tree in any large city, excites I imagine, all of us to-day.&nbsp; But
+multiplication of books has really rendered lecturers, as instructors,
+mere intellectual Othellos; their occupation is gone; the erudition
+of the ages is now within reach of all; though educational books were
+fairly expensive within living memory.&nbsp; You owe, therefore, a debt
+of gratitude to the <i>Times</i> and the <i>Daily Mail</i> for bringing
+Encyclop&aelig;dias of all kinds into the range of the shallowest purse
+and in contact with the shallowest heads in the community.</p>
+<p>But in case your learned professors have not contributed all their
+hidden lore and scholarship to the cheap Encyclop&aelig;dias, and still
+allow their learning to leak out at lectures, you may have come expecting
+instruction from me on some neglected subject.&nbsp; If that is so,
+I must confess myself at once an impostor.&nbsp; I have no information
+to give you.&nbsp; I assume your erudition to compensate for <!-- page 277--><a name="page277"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 277</span>my
+own lack of it.&nbsp; There are no facts which I might bring before
+you that you cannot find stated more clearly in valuable manuals or
+works of reference, if you have not mastered them already.&nbsp; There
+is no scientific or philosophic theory which I might propound that you
+could not hear with greater benefit from others.</p>
+<p>Briefly, I have no orange up my sleeve.</p>
+<p>Let there be no deception or disappointment.&nbsp; I want you to
+play with an idea as children play at ball&mdash;not football&mdash;but
+the old game of catch.&nbsp; And out of this discussion, for I trust
+that you will all differ, if not with me, at least with each other,
+trains of thought may be quickened; mental grassland ploughed up; hidden
+perspectives unveiled.&nbsp; Above all, I would stimulate you to an
+appreciation of your contemporaries and of contemporary literature,
+contemporary drama, and contemporary art.</p>
+<p>Every few years distinguished men lift their voices, and tell us
+that all is over, <i>decay has begun</i>.&nbsp; The obscure and the
+anonymous echo the sentiment in the London Press.&nbsp; With the fall
+of any Government its supporters prophesy <!-- page 278--><a name="page278"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 278</span>the
+rapid decomposition of the Empire; in the pulpit eloquent preachers
+of every sect and communion, thundering against the vices of Society,
+declare that Society is breaking up.&nbsp; Of course, not being in Society,
+I am hardly in a position to judge; and the vices I know only at second-hand&mdash;from
+the preachers.&nbsp; Yet I see no outward signs of decay in Society;
+it dresses quite as well, in some ways better than, it did.&nbsp; Society
+eats as much, judging from the size and number of new restaurants; its
+patronises as usual the silliest plays in London, and buys in larger
+quantities than ever the idiotic novels provided for it.&nbsp; Have
+you ever been to a bazaar in aid of Our Dumb Friends&rsquo; League?&nbsp;
+Well, you see Society <i>there</i>, I can tell you; it is not dumb.&nbsp;
+And the conversation sounds no less vapid and no less brilliant than
+we are told it was in the eighteenth century; the dresses and faces
+are quite as pretty.&nbsp; But much as I should like to discuss the
+decay of English Society and the English nation, I feel that such lofty
+themes are beyond my reach.&nbsp; I am concerned only with the so-called
+decay of humbler things, the abstract manifestations <!-- page 279--><a name="page279"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 279</span>of
+the human intellect, the Arts and Sciences.&nbsp; And lest, weary at
+the end of my discourse, you forget the argument or miss it, let me
+state at once what I wish to suggest, nay, what I wish to assert, <i>there
+is no such thing as decay</i>.&nbsp; Decay is an intellectual Mrs. Harris,
+a highly useful entity wherewith the journalistic Gamps try to frighten
+Betsy Prig.&nbsp; Of course an obvious objection to my assertion is
+the truism that everything has a life; and that towards the end of that
+natural life we are correct in speaking of approaching decay.&nbsp;
+With physical phenomena, however, I am not dealing, though I may say,
+by the way, that there are many examples of human intellect maturing
+in middle life or extreme old age.&nbsp; William Blake&rsquo;s masterpiece,
+the illustrations to the Book of Job, were executed when he was sixty-eight,
+a few years before his death.&nbsp; The late Lord Kelvin is an example
+of an unimpaired intellect.&nbsp; Still, it must be admitted that while
+nations may be destroyed by conquest, or by conquering too much and
+becoming absorbed by the conquered, and that ancient buildings may be
+pulled down or restored, so, too, conventions in literature and <!-- page 280--><a name="page280"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 280</span>schools
+of art have been brought to an end by war, plague, or death&mdash;ostensibly
+brought to an end.&nbsp; But it is an error to suppose that art or literature,
+because their development was artificially arrested, were in a state
+of decay.</p>
+<p>The favourite object-lesson of our childhood was the Roman Empire.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;Here&rsquo;s richness,&rsquo; as Mr. Squeers said, here was decline,
+and Gibbon wrote his prose epic from that point of view.&nbsp; I hardly
+dare to differ with the greatest of English historians, but if we approach
+his work in the scientific spirit with which we should always regard
+history, we shall find that Gibbon draws false deductions from the undisputed
+facts, the unchallenged assertions of his history.&nbsp; Commencing
+with the Roman Empire almost in its cradle, he sees in every twist of
+the infant limbs prognostications of premature decline in a dispensation
+which by his own computation lasted over fourteen hundred years.&nbsp;
+It is safe enough to prophesy about the past.&nbsp; Everything I admit
+has a life, but I do not consider old age decay any more than I think
+exuberant youth immature childhood; death may be <!-- page 281--><a name="page281"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 281</span>only
+arrested development and life itself an exhausted convention.&nbsp;
+Have you ever tried to count the number of reasons Gibbon gives (each
+one is a principal reason) for the cause of Roman decline?&nbsp; His
+philosophy reminds me of Flaubert&rsquo;s hero, who observed that if
+Napoleon had been content to remain a simple soldier in the barracks
+at Marseilles, he might still be on the throne of France.&nbsp; If we
+really accept Gibbon&rsquo;s view of history, I am not surprised that
+any one should be nervous about the British Empire.&nbsp; The great
+intellectual idea of the Roman dominion, arrested indeed by barbarian
+invasion, philosophically never decayed.&nbsp; Some of it was embalmed
+in Byzantium&mdash;particularly its artistic and literary sides; its
+religious forces were absorbed by the Roman Church, as Hobbes pointed
+out in a very wonderful passage; its humanism and polity became the
+common property of the European nations of to-day.&nbsp; Gibbon&rsquo;s
+work should have been called &lsquo;The Rise and Progress of Greco-Roman
+Civilisation.&rsquo;&nbsp; That is not such a good title, but it would
+have been more accurate.&nbsp; And if you compare critically the history
+of any manifestation of <!-- page 282--><a name="page282"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 282</span>the
+human intellect, religion, literature, painting, architecture, or science,
+you will find that the development of one expressive force has been
+momentarily arrested while some other manifestation is asserting itself
+synchronously with the supposed decay in a manifestation whose particular
+history you are studying.&nbsp; Always regard the deductions of the
+historian with the same scepticism that you regard the deductions of
+fiscal politicians.</p>
+<p>Every one knows the charming books by writers more learned than I
+can pretend to be, where the history of Italian art is traced from Giotto
+downwards; the story of Giotto and the little lamb, now, alas! entirely
+exploded; of Cimabue&rsquo;s Madonna being carried about in processions,
+and now discovered to have been painted by some one else!&nbsp; Then
+on to Massaccio through the delightful fifteenth century until you see
+in the text-book in large print, like the flashes of harbour lights
+after a bad Channel crossing, <span class="smcap">Raphael, Michael Angelo,
+Da Vinci</span>.&nbsp; But when you come to the seventeenth century,
+Guido Reni, the Carracci, and other painters (for the present moment
+out of fashion), painters whose work <!-- page 283--><a name="page283"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 283</span>fetches
+little at Christie&rsquo;s, the art critic and historian begin to snivel
+about decay; not only of Italian art, but of the Italian peninsula;
+and their sobs will hardly ever allow them to get as far as Longhi,
+Piazetta, and Tiepolo, those great masters of the eighteenth century.</p>
+<p>But we know, painters certainly must know if they look at old masters
+at all, that Tiepolo, if he was the last of the old masters, was also
+the first of the moderns; it was his painting in Spain which influenced
+Goya, and Goya is not only a deceased Spanish master, he is a European
+master of to-day.&nbsp; You can trace his influence through all the
+great French figure-painters of the nineteenth century down to those
+of the New English Art Club, though they may not have actually known
+they were under his influence.&nbsp; Painting commences with a childish
+naturalism, such as you see on the walls of pre-historic caves; that
+is why savages always prefer photographs to any work of art, and why
+photographers are always so savage about works of art.&nbsp; Gradually
+this childish naturalism develops into decoration; it becomes stylistic.&nbsp;
+The decoration becomes perfected and sterile; then <!-- page 284--><a name="page284"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 284</span>there
+arises a more sophisticated generation, longing for naturalism, for
+pictorial <i>vraisemblance</i>, without the childishness of the cave
+pictures.&nbsp; And their new art develops at the expense of decoration;
+it becomes perfect and sterile.&nbsp; What is commonly called decay
+is merely stylistic development.&nbsp; The exquisite art of Byzantium
+was wrongly considered as the debasement of Greco-Roman art.&nbsp; It
+was really the decorative expansion of it; the conventionalising of
+exaggerated realism.&nbsp; The same might have happened in Europe after
+the Baroque and Rococo fashions had their day; politics and commerce
+interfered.&nbsp; The intensely artificial painting of France, to which
+Diderot objected so much, had become perfect and sterile.&nbsp; Then
+(happily or unhappily, in whichever direction your tastes lie) the French
+Revolution, by a pathetic misunderstanding of classical ideals, paved
+the way for the naturalism of the misnamed Romantic school.&nbsp; We
+were told, a short time ago, that Sienese painting anticipated by a
+few years the Florentine manifestations of Cimabue and Giotto, but Mr.
+Berenson has pointed out that Sienese art is not the beginning but the
+<!-- page 285--><a name="page285"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 285</span>end
+of an exquisite convention, the quintessence of Byzantium.&nbsp; In
+the Roscoe collection at Liverpool you have one of the most superb and
+precious examples of this delicate, impeccable and decadent art: &lsquo;Christ
+found in the Temple,&rsquo; by Simone di Martini.</p>
+<p>In Egyptian art, again, compare the pure naturalism of the wonderful
+Egyptian scribe of the Louvre, belonging, I am told, to the fifth or
+sixth dynasty, with the hieratic and conventional art of the twelfth
+dynasty; while in the eighteenth dynasty you get a reversion to realism,
+which critics have the audacity to call a &lsquo;revival of art.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+But you might just as well call it decayed, as indeed they do call some
+of the most magnificent Ptolem&aelig;an remains, simply because they
+happen to belong to a certain date which, by Egyptian reckoning, may
+be regarded as very recent.&nbsp; Just now we very foolishly talk in
+accents of scorn about the early Victorian art, of which I venture to
+remind you Turner was not the least ornament.&nbsp; Of course commercial
+and political events often interrupt the gestation of the arts, or break
+our idols in pieces.&nbsp; Another generation picks up the fragments
+and <!-- page 286--><a name="page286"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 286</span>puts
+them together in the wrong way, and that is why it is so confusing and
+interesting; but there is no reason to be depressed about it.&nbsp;
+Only iconoclasm need annoy us.&nbsp; In histories of English literature
+too often you find the same attitude when the writer comes to a period
+which he dislikes.&nbsp; Restoration Comedy is often said to be a period
+of debasement, and with Tennyson the young student is given to understand
+that English literature ceased altogether.&nbsp; But perhaps there are
+more modern text-books where the outlook is less gloomy.&nbsp; If, instead
+of reading the history of literature, you read the literature itself,
+you will find plenty of instances of writers at the most brilliant periods
+complaining of decay.</p>
+<p>George Putman, in the <i>Art of English Poesy</i>, published in 1589,
+when English poetry was starting on a particularly glorious period,
+says, &lsquo;In these days all poets and poesy are despised, they are
+subject to scorn and derision,&rsquo; and &lsquo;this proceeds through
+the barbarous ignorance of the time&mdash;in <i>other ages it was not
+so</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp; Then Jonson, in his &lsquo;Discoveries,&rsquo;
+lamenting the decline of literature, <!-- page 287--><a name="page287"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 287</span>says,
+&lsquo;It is the disease of the age, and no wonder if the world, growing
+old, begins to be infirm.&rsquo;&nbsp; There are hundreds of others
+which will immediately occur to you, from Chaucer to Tennyson, though
+Pope made noble protests on behalf of his contemporaries.&nbsp; You
+have only got to compare these lachrymose observations with the summary
+of the year&rsquo;s literature in any newspaper&mdash;&lsquo;literary
+output&rsquo; is the detestable expression always used&mdash;and you
+will find the same note of depression.&nbsp; &lsquo;The year has not
+produced a single masterpiece.&nbsp; Glad as we have been to welcome
+Mr. Blank&rsquo;s verse, &ldquo;Larkspurs&rdquo; cannot be compared
+with his first delicious volume, &ldquo;Tealeaves,&rdquo; published
+thirty years ago.&rsquo;&nbsp; Then turn to the review in the same paper
+of &lsquo;Tealeaves&rsquo; thirty years ago.&nbsp; &lsquo;Coarse animalism
+draped in the most seductive hues of art and romance, we will not analyse
+these poems, we will not even pretend to give the reasons on which our
+opinion is based.&rsquo;&nbsp; Or read the incisive &lsquo;Musings without
+Method,&rsquo; in <i>Blackwood&rsquo;s Magazine</i>, on contemporary
+literature and contemporary things generally.</p>
+<p>Again, every painter is told that his work <!-- page 288--><a name="page288"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 288</span>is
+not as good as last year, and that we have no one like Titian or Velasquez.&nbsp;
+The Royal Academy is always said to be worse than usual.&nbsp; I have
+known the summer exhibitions at Burlington House for twenty years.&nbsp;
+Let me assure you throughout that period they have always been quite
+as bad as they are now.&nbsp; But we do not want painters like Titian
+or Velasquez; we want something else.&nbsp; If painters were like Titian
+or Velasquez they would not be artists at all.&nbsp; When Velasquez
+went to Rome he was told he ought to imitate Raphael; had he done so
+should we regard him as the greatest painter in the world?&nbsp; If
+Rossetti had merely been another Fra Angelico or one of the early artists
+from whom he derived such noble inspiration, should we regard him as
+we do, as even the fierce young modern art student does, as one of the
+greatest figures in English art of the nineteenth century?&nbsp; In
+the latter part of that century I think he is the greatest force in
+English painting.&nbsp; I would reserve for him the largest print in
+my manual of English art.&nbsp; But have we declined since the death
+of Rossetti?&nbsp; On the contrary, I think we have advanced and are
+<!-- page 289--><a name="page289"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 289</span>advancing.&nbsp;
+You must not think I am depreciating the past.&nbsp; The past is one
+of my witnesses.&nbsp; The past was very like our present; it nearly
+always depreciated itself intellectually and materially.</p>
+<p>We all of us think of Athens in the fifth century as a golden period
+of great men, when every genius was appreciated, but you know that they
+put Pheidias in prison.&nbsp; And take the instance of Euripides.&nbsp;
+The majority of his countrymen said he was nothing to the late Aeschylus.&nbsp;
+He was chiefly appreciated by foreigners, as you will remember if you
+are able to read &lsquo;Balaustion&rsquo;s Adventure&rsquo; (so much
+more difficult than Euripides in the original Greek).&nbsp; Listen to
+what Professor Murray says:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>His contemporary public denounced him as dull, because
+he tortured them with personal problems; as malignant, because he made
+them see truths they wished not to see; as blasphemous and foul-minded,
+because he made demands on their religious and spiritual natures which
+they could neither satisfy nor overlook.&nbsp; They did not know whether
+he was too wildly imaginative or too realistic, too romantic or too
+prosaic, too childishly simple or too philosophical&mdash;Aristophanes
+says he was all these things at once.&nbsp; They only knew that he made
+<!-- page 290--><a name="page290"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 290</span>them
+angry and that they could not help listening to him.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Does not that remind you a little of what was said all over England
+of Mr. Bernard Shaw?&nbsp; Of what is still said about him in many London
+houses to-day?&nbsp; If some one praises him, the majority of people
+will tell you that he is overrated.&nbsp; Does it not remind you of
+the reception which Ibsen&rsquo;s plays met when they were first produced
+here: when they gave an impetus to that new English drama which I understand
+is decaying, though it seems to me to be only beginning&mdash;the new
+English Drama of Mr. Granville Barker, Mr. Housman, Mr. Arnold Bennett,
+Mr. Galsworthy, and Mr. Masefield?</p>
+<p>Every year the patient research of scholars by the consultation of
+original documents has caused us to readjust our historical perspective.&nbsp;
+Those villains of our childhood, Tiberius, Richard III., Mary Tudor,
+and others, have become respectable monarchs, almost model monarchs,
+if you compare them with the popular English view of the present King
+of the Belgians, the ex-Sultan of Turkey, and the present Czar of Russia.&nbsp;
+It is realised <!-- page 291--><a name="page291"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 291</span>that
+contemporary journalism gave a somewhat twopence coloured impression
+of Kings and Queens, who were only creatures of their age, less admirable
+expressions of the individualism of their time.&nbsp; And just as historical
+facts require readjustment by posterity, so our critical estimate of
+intellectual and &aelig;sthetic evolution requires strict revision.&nbsp;
+We must not accept the glib statement of the historian, especially of
+the contemporary historian, that at certain periods intellectual activity
+and artistic expression were decaying or did not exist.&nbsp; If a convention
+in one field of intellectual activity is said by the historian or chronicler
+to be approaching termination or to be decaying, as he calls it, we
+should test carefully his data and his credentials.&nbsp; But, assuming
+he is right, there will always be found some compensating reaction in
+another sphere of intellectual activity which is in process of development;
+and through which, by some divine alchemy, providence, or nature, call
+it what you will, a new manifestation will be made to the world.&nbsp;
+The arts which we suppose to have perished, of which, indeed, we write
+affecting epitaphs, are merely hibernating; <!-- page 292--><a name="page292"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 292</span>the
+intellect which is necessary for their production and nutrition is simply
+otherwise employed; while, of course, you must make allowances for the
+appreciations of posterity, change of fashion and taste.&nbsp; From
+the middle of the sixteenth century down to nearly the middle of the
+nineteenth, the Middle Ages were always thought of as the Dark Ages.&nbsp;
+Scarcely any one could appreciate either the pictorial art or architecture
+of medi&aelig;valism; those who did so always had to apologise for their
+predilection.&nbsp; The wonders of Gothic art were furtively relished
+by a few antiquaries; and, at certain periods, by men like Beckford
+and Walpole, as agreeable drawing-room curiosities.&nbsp; The Romantic
+movement commenced by Chatterton enabled us to revise a limited and
+narrow view, based on insufficient information.&nbsp; It was John Ruskin,
+in England, who made us see what a splendid heritage the Middle Ages
+had bequeathed to us.&nbsp; Ruskin and his disciples then fell into
+the error of turning the tables on the Renaissance, and regarded everything
+that deviated from Gothic convention as <i>debased</i>; the whole art
+of the eighteenth century <!-- page 293--><a name="page293"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 293</span>was
+anathema to them.&nbsp; The decadence began, according to Ruskin, with
+Raphael.&nbsp; Out of that ingenious error, or synchronous with it,
+began the brilliant movement of the Pre-Raphaelites in the middle of
+the last century.&nbsp; And when the Pre-Raphaelites appeared, every
+one said the end of Art had arrived.&nbsp; Dickens openly attacked them;
+Thackeray ridiculed the new tendencies; every one, great and small,
+spoke of decay and decline.&nbsp; The French word <i>D&eacute;cadence</i>
+had not crept into use.&nbsp; However, the weary Titan staggered on,
+as Matthew Arnold said, and when Mr. Whistler&rsquo;s art dawned on
+the horizon, Ruskin was among the first to see in it signs of decay.&nbsp;
+Except the poetry of Swinburne, never has any art met with such abuse.&nbsp;
+An example of the immortal painter now adorns the National Gallery of
+<i>British</i> painting, which is cared for&mdash;oh, irony of circumstances&mdash;by
+one of the first prophets of impressionism in this country, or, rather,
+let me say, one of the first English critics&mdash;Mr. D. S. MacColl.</p>
+<p>But you will now ask how do I account for those periods when apparently
+the liberal arts <!-- page 294--><a name="page294"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 294</span>are
+supposed not to have existed?&nbsp; I maintain they did exist, or that
+human intellect was otherwise employed.&nbsp; The excavations of prehistoric
+cities are evidences of my contention.&nbsp; Because things are destroyed
+we must not say they have decayed; if evidences are scarce, do not say
+they never existed.&nbsp; Our architecture, for example, took five hundred
+years to develop out of the splendid Norman through the various transitions
+of Gothic down to the perfection of the English country house in Elizabethan
+and Jacobean times.&nbsp; If church architecture was decaying, domestic
+architecture was improving.&nbsp; <i>Architecture is, of course, the
+first and most important of all the arts</i>, and when the human intellect
+is being used up for some other purpose there is a temporary cessation;
+there is never any decay of architecture.&nbsp; The putting up of ugly
+buildings is merely a sign of growing stupidity, not of declining intellect
+or decaying taste.&nbsp; Jerry-building is the successful competition
+of dishonesty against competency.&nbsp; Do not imagine that because
+the good architects do not get commissions to put up useful or beautiful
+buildings they do not exist.&nbsp; The history of <!-- page 295--><a name="page295"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 295</span>stupidity
+and the history of bad taste must one day engage our serious attention.&nbsp;
+There is no decay, alas, even in stupidity and bad taste.</p>
+<p>The suddenness with which the literature of the sixteenth century
+developed in England has been explained, I know, by the Reformation.&nbsp;
+But you should remember the other critics of art, who ascribe the barrenness
+of our painting and the necessity of importing continental artists,
+also to the Reformation.&nbsp; I suggest that the intellectual capacity
+of the nation was directed towards literature, politics and <i>religious</i>
+controversy, rather than to art and religion.&nbsp; I cannot think there
+was any scarcity of the artistic germ in the English nation which had
+already expressed itself in the great Abbeys and Churches, such as Glastonbury,
+Tintern, Fountains, and York.&nbsp; And you must remember that the minor
+art of embroidery, the &lsquo;<i>opus anglicanum</i>&rsquo; (which flourished
+for three centuries previous to the Reformation), was famous throughout
+Europe.</p>
+<p>In the middle of the eighteenth century, the big men, Swift, Pope,
+and Addison, having passed away, the Augustan age of English literature
+seemed exhausted.&nbsp; It was a time <!-- page 296--><a name="page296"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 296</span>of
+intellectual dyspepsia; every one was much too fond of ruins; people
+built sham ruins on their estates.&nbsp; Rich men, who could afford
+the luxury, kept a dilapidated hermit in a cavern.&nbsp; Their chief
+pleasure on the continent was measuring ruins in the way described so
+amusingly by Goldsmith in <i>The Citizen of the World</i>.&nbsp; Though
+no century was more thoroughly pleased with itself, I might almost say
+smugly self-satisfied, the men of that century were always lamenting
+the decline of the age.&nbsp; The observations of Johnson and Goldsmith
+I need scarcely repeat.&nbsp; But here is one which may have escaped
+your notice.&nbsp; It is not a suggestion of decline, but an assertion
+of non-existence.&nbsp; Gray, the poet, the cultivated connoisseur,
+the Professor of History, writing in 1763 to Count Algarrotti, says:
+&lsquo;Why this nation has made no advances hitherto in painting and
+sculpture it is hard to say; the fact is undeniable, and we have the
+vanity to apologise for ourselves as Virgil did for the Romans:</p>
+<blockquote><p>Excudent alii spirantia mollius aera,<br />
+Credo equidem, vivos ducent de marmore vultus,<br />
+Orabunt causas melius, coelique meatus<br />
+<!-- page 297--><a name="page297"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 297</span>Describent
+radio, et surgentia sidera dicent:<br />
+Tu regere imperio populos, Romane, memento;<br />
+Hae tibi erunt artes; pacisque imponere morem,<br />
+Parcere subjectis, et debellare superbos.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>&lsquo;You are generous enough to wish, and sanguine enough to see
+that art shall one day flourish in England.&nbsp; <i>I too much wish,
+but can hardly extend my hopes so far</i>.&rsquo;&nbsp; Yet in 1754
+Chippendale had published his Cabinet Makers&rsquo; Guide; and the next
+fifty years was to see the production of all that beautiful English
+furniture of which we are so justly proud, and which we forge with such
+surprising skill.&nbsp; It was the next fifty years that saw the production
+of the beautiful English pottery which we prize so highly, and it was
+the next hundred years that was to be the period of Reynolds, Gainsborough,
+Lawrence, Crome, Cotman, Alfred Stevens, and Turner, who died in 1851,
+just when the Pre-Raphaelites were supposed to be inaugurating the decay
+of that which Gray denied the existence, nearly one hundred years before.</p>
+<p>Though the scope of my discussion is limited to literature and art,
+it would be paltry to confine our inquiries within limited <!-- page 298--><a name="page298"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 298</span>horizons.&nbsp;
+Painting and architecture, alas, are not the whole of life; the fine
+arts are only the flowers of existence; they are useful as humanising
+elements; but they are not indispensable.&nbsp; That vague community
+among whom we arbitrarily place those with whom we disagree&mdash;the
+Philistines&mdash;get on very well without them.&nbsp; But even Philistines
+have to reckon with Religion and Science, and in a lesser degree with
+Philosophy.&nbsp; That powerful trinity affects our every-day life.&nbsp;
+Philosophy is so cloistered, so difficult to understand, that we seldom
+hear of its decay; though we are constantly told that some branch of
+science is being neglected, or owing to a religious revival that its
+prestige is becoming undermined; its truths are becoming falsehoods.&nbsp;
+I am not a man of science, not even a student, only a desultory reader.&nbsp;
+Yet I suggest that, as was pointed out in the case of the fine arts,
+certain branches of the divine scholarship, if I may call it so, may
+be arrested temporarily in any development they may have reached.&nbsp;
+Let us take medicine.&nbsp; Medicine is primarily based upon the study
+of anatomy or structure&mdash;physiology&mdash;or the <!-- page 299--><a name="page299"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 299</span>scheme
+of structure carried out in life; and upon botany and chemistry as representing
+the vegetable and mineral worlds where the remedies are sought.&nbsp;
+Anatomy soon reaches a finite position, when a sufficient number of
+careful dissections has been made; the other divisions used to look
+like promising endless development; but there is reason to suppose that
+they too, as far as medicine is concerned, have reached a sterile perfection.</p>
+<p>The microscope is perfected up to a point which mechanicians think
+cannot be improved upon; so that those ultimate elements of physiology
+which depend upon the observation of minute structure are known to us.&nbsp;
+To put it crudely, we cannot discover any more germs, whose presence
+is hidden from us by mere minuteness, unless we can improve our machinery,
+and that, we are told, is an improbable event.&nbsp; I will not labour
+the point by applying it to botany, which is very obvious, or to chemistry,
+where it is not so clear.&nbsp; But it <i>is</i> clear that owing to
+a feeling that not much more is to be got from minute observation with
+the tools at our disposal, the brightest intellects and most inventive
+<!-- page 300--><a name="page300"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 300</span>clairvoyant
+work are shunted into more imaginative channels.&nbsp; There are no
+men who guess so brilliantly as men of science, so that science, in
+that respect, has attained the dignity of Theology.&nbsp; I suppose
+that the startling theories propounded by Sir Oliver Lodge and others
+will be taken as evidence of the decay of science.&nbsp; But the human
+intellect, especially if it is scientific, cannot, I imagine, like actors,
+go on repeating or feigning the same emotion.&nbsp; It must leave for
+the moment as apparently completed one branch of knowledge to which
+it may return again after developing some less mature branch on which
+the attention of the most learned investigators is for a time wholly
+concentrated.&nbsp; The tree of knowledge is an evergreen, and in science,
+no more than in arts, is there any decay.&nbsp; When Darwin published
+his great <i>Origin of Species</i> which was hailed as a revelation,
+not only by scientific men, but by intelligent laymen, religious people
+became very much alarmed.&nbsp; They talked about the decay of faith,
+and ascribed any falling off in the offertories to the shillings spent
+on visiting the monkey-house at the Zoological Gardens.&nbsp; <!-- page 301--><a name="page301"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 301</span>Younger
+sons and less gifted members of clever families were no longer destined
+for Holy Orders; as we were descended from apes it would have seemed
+impious.&nbsp; They were sent to Cambridge to pursue a so-called scientific
+career, which was crowned by the usual &aelig;grotat in botany instead
+of a pass in history.&nbsp; The falling off in candidates for Holy Orders
+seriously alarmed some of our Bishops; and Darwin&mdash;the gentle,
+delightful Darwin&mdash;became what the Pope had been to our ancestors.&nbsp;
+I need not point out how groundless these fears happily proved to be.&nbsp;
+The younger intellects of the country simply became more interested
+for the moment in the cross-breeding of squirrels, than in the internecine
+difficulties of the Protestant church on Apostolic succession, the number
+of candles on the altar, and the legality of incense.&nbsp; Now, I rejoice
+to say, there is a healthy revival of interest and a healthy difference
+of opinion on all these important religious questions.&nbsp; We must
+never pay serious attention to the alarmists who tell us that the churches
+and sects are seeing their last days.&nbsp; Macaulay has warned us never
+to be too sanguine about the <!-- page 302--><a name="page302"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 302</span>Church
+of Rome.&nbsp; The moments of her greatest trials produced some of her
+greatest men&mdash;Ignatius Loyola, Philip Neri, and Francis Xavier.&nbsp;
+Do you think the Church is decaying because the congregations are banished
+from France, and the Concordat has come to an end?&nbsp; I tell you
+it will only stimulate her to further conquests; it is the beginning
+of a new life for the Catholic Church in France.&nbsp; If the Anglican
+Church were to be disestablished to-morrow, I would regard it as a Sandow
+exercise for the hardworking, splendid intellects of the Establishment.&nbsp;
+The Nonconformists&mdash;well, they never talk about their own decline;
+of all the divisions of Christianity they always seem to me heartily
+to enjoy persecution; and like myself, I never knew them to admit the
+word <i>d&eacute;cadence</i> into their vocabulary, at least about themselves.&nbsp;
+I hold them up to you as examples.&nbsp; Let us all be Nonconformists
+in that respect.</p>
+<p>I do not ask you to adopt the habit against which Matthew Arnold
+directed one of his witty essays, the habit of expressing a too unctuous
+satisfaction with the age and time in which we are living.&nbsp; That
+was the <!-- page 303--><a name="page303"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 303</span>intellectual
+error of the Eighteenth Century.&nbsp; There are problems of poverty,
+injustice, disease, and unhappiness, which should make the most prosperous
+and most selfish of us chafe; but I do urge that we should not suspect
+the art and literature of our time, the intellectual manifestations
+of our age, whether scientific or literary.&nbsp; I urge that we do
+not sit on the counter in order to cry &lsquo;stinking fish,&rsquo;
+and observe that this is merely an age of commerce.&nbsp; An overweening
+modesty in us seems to persuade us that it is quite impossible we should
+be fortunate enough to be the contemporaries of great men.&nbsp; The
+fact that we know them personally sometimes undermines our faith; contemporary
+contempt for a great man is too often turned on the contemporaries.&nbsp;
+Do not let us look upon genius, as Schopenhauer accused some people
+of doing, &lsquo;as upon a hare which is good to eat when it has been
+killed and dressed up, but so long as it is alive only good to be shot
+at.&rsquo;&nbsp; And if our intellectuals are not all Brobdingnagians,
+they are not all Liliputians.&nbsp; It seems to me ungenerous to make
+sweeping and deprecating assertions about our own time; it is also dangerous.&nbsp;
+<!-- page 304--><a name="page304"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 304</span>The
+contemporary praise of unworthy work, ephemeral work&mdash;there is
+always plenty of that, we know&mdash;is forgotten; and (though it does
+not decay) perishes with the work it extolled.&nbsp; But unsound criticism
+and foolish abuse of great work is remembered to the confusion of the
+critics.&nbsp; Think of the reception accorded to Wordsworth, Coleridge,
+Byron, Keats, Shelley, Rossetti, and Swinburne.</p>
+<p>I remember that excellent third-rate writer, W. E. H. Lecky, making
+a speech at a dinner of the Authors&rsquo; Society, in which he said
+that he was sorry to say there were no great writers alive, and no stylists
+to compare with those who had passed away.&nbsp; A few paces off him
+sat Walter Pater, George Meredith, and Mr. Austin Dobson.&nbsp; Tennyson,
+though not present at the banquet, was president of the Society, and
+Ruskin was still alive.&nbsp; When Swinburne&rsquo;s &lsquo;Atalanta
+in Calydon&rsquo; appeared, another third-rate writer, James Russell
+Lowell, assured the world that its author was no poet, because there
+was no thought in the verse.&nbsp; Four years ago, at a provincial town
+in Italy, when one of the Italian ministers, at the opening of some
+public <!-- page 305--><a name="page305"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 305</span>building,
+said that united Italy owed to the great English poet Swinburne a debt
+which it could never forget, the inhabitants cheered vociferously.&nbsp;
+This was no idle compliment; every one in Italy knows who Swinburne
+was.&nbsp; I will not hazard to guess the extent of the ovation which
+the names of Lowell and Lecky would receive, but I think the incident
+is a fair sign that English poetry has not decayed.</p>
+<p>In the <i>Daily Mail</i> I saw once an interview with an inferior
+American black-and-white draughtsman at Berlin.&nbsp; He was asked his
+opinion about a splendid exhibition of old English pictures being held
+there, and took occasion to say &lsquo;what the pictures demonstrate
+is not that the English women of the eighteenth century were conspicuously
+lovely, but the artists who painted them possessed secrets of reproduction
+which posterity has failed to inherit.&rsquo;&nbsp; I would like to
+reply &lsquo;Rot, rot, rot;&rsquo; but that would imply a belief in
+decay.&nbsp; I suggest to the same critic that he should visit one of
+the &lsquo;International Exhibitions,&rsquo; where he will see the pictures
+of Mr. Charles Hazelwood Shannon.&nbsp; Such a stupid view from an <!-- page 306--><a name="page306"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 306</span>American
+is particularly amazing, because in Mr. John Singer Sargent, we (by
+<i>we</i> I mean America and ourselves) possess an artist who is certainly
+the peer of Gainsborough and Reynolds, and personally I should say a
+much greater painter than Reynolds.&nbsp; A hundred years hence, perhaps
+people at Berlin (the most critical and cultivated capital in the world)
+will be bending before the &lsquo;Three Daughters of Percy Wyndham,&rsquo;
+the &lsquo;Duchess of Sutherland,&rsquo; the &lsquo;Marlborough Family,&rsquo;
+and many another masterpiece of Mr. Sargent and Mr. Charles Shannon.&nbsp;
+The same American critic says that our era of mediocrity will continue;
+so I am full of hope.&nbsp; Even the existence of America does not depress
+me: nor do I see in it a symptom of decay; if it produces much that
+is distasteful in the way of tinned meat, it gave us Mr. John Sargent
+and Mr. Henry James, and it took away from England Mr. Richard Le Gallienne.</p>
+<p>I should be the last to invite you not to discriminate about the
+present.&nbsp; We must be cautious in estimating the very popular writers
+or painters of our time; but we must not <!-- page 307--><a name="page307"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 307</span>dismiss
+them because they are popular.&nbsp; We should be tall enough to worship
+in a crowd.&nbsp; Let our criticism be aristocratic, our taste fastidious,
+and let our sympathies be democratic and catholic.&nbsp; Dickens, I
+suppose, is one of the most popular writers who ever lived, and yet
+he is part of the structure of our literature; but as Dickens is dead,
+I prefer to mention the names of three living writers, who are also
+popular, and have become corner-stones of the same building&mdash;Mr.
+Thomas Hardy, Mr. Rudyard Kipling, Mr. H. G. Wells.&nbsp; &lsquo;There
+are at all times,&rsquo; says Schopenhauer, &lsquo;two literatures in
+progress running side by side, but little known to each other; the one
+real, the other only apparent.&nbsp; The former grows into permanent
+literature: it is pursued by those who live <i>for</i> science or poetry.&nbsp;
+The other is pursued by those who live <i>on</i> science or poetry;
+but after a few years one asks where are they? where is the glory that
+came so soon and made so much clamour?&rsquo;&nbsp; We are happy if
+we can discriminate between those two literatures.</p>
+<p>While we should remember that there are at all times intellects whose
+work is <!-- page 308--><a name="page308"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 308</span>more
+for posterity than for the present; work which appeals, perhaps, only
+to the few, that of artists whose work has no purchasers, writers whose
+books may have publishers but few readers, we must be cautious about
+accepting the verdict of the dove-cot.&nbsp; There are many obscure
+artists and writers whose work, though admired by a select few, remains
+very properly obscure, and will always remain obscure; it is of no value
+intellectually; the world should know nothing of its inferior men.&nbsp;
+Sometimes, however, it is these inferior men who are able to get temporary
+places as critics, and inform us in leading articles that ours is an
+age <i>of Decadence</i>.&nbsp; Every new drama, every work of art which
+possesses individuality or gives a fresh point of view or evinces development
+of any kind, is held up as an instance of Decay.&nbsp; &lsquo;<i>L&rsquo;&eacute;cole
+d&eacute;cadent</i>&rsquo; was a phrase invented as a jest in 1886,
+I believe by Monsieur Bourde, a journalist in Paris.&nbsp; It was eagerly
+adopted by the Parisians, and soon floated across the Channel.&nbsp;
+Used as a term of reproach, it was accepted by the group of poets it
+was intended to ridicule.&nbsp; I need not remind you that the master
+of that school <!-- page 309--><a name="page309"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 309</span>was
+Paul Verlaine, the immortal poet who enlarged the scope of French verse&mdash;the
+poet who achieved for French poetry what I am told the so-called decadent
+philosopher Nietzsche has done for German prose.&nbsp; Unfortunately
+I do not know German, and it seems almost impossible to add to the German
+language.&nbsp; But Nietzsche, I am assured by competent authorities,
+has performed a similar feat to that of Luther on the issue of his Bible.</p>
+<p>When, therefore, we hear of decadence in literature or art, even
+if we accept Mr. Balfour&rsquo;s definition of its symptom&mdash;&lsquo;<i>the
+employment of an over-wrought technique</i>&rsquo;&mdash;we must remember
+that Decadence and Decay have now different meanings, though originally
+they meant the same sort of thing.&nbsp; An over-wrought technique is
+characteristic of the decadent school of France, particularly of Mallarm&eacute;,
+and some of our own decadents.&nbsp; Walter Pater and Sir Thomas Browne.&nbsp;
+The existence of writers adopting an over-wrought technique, however,
+is not (and Mr. Balfour would repudiate the idea) a sign of decay as
+commonplace moralists would have us believe, <!-- page 310--><a name="page310"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 310</span>but
+of realised perfection.&nbsp; Pater is the most perfect prose writer
+we ever produced.&nbsp; The Euphuists of the sixteenth century were
+of course decadents, and I think you will admit that they did not herald
+any decay in our literature.</p>
+<p>The truth is that men after a certain age, if not on the crest of
+the waves themselves, become bored with counting the breakers, and decide
+that the tide is going out.&nbsp; You must often have had arguments
+with friends on this subject when walking by the sea.&nbsp; The water
+seems to be receding; you can see that there is an ebb; and then an
+unusually long wave comes up and wets your feet.&nbsp; Great writers
+are guilty of a similar error without any intention of contriving a
+literary conceit (as I suspect many a past outcry to have been).&nbsp;
+Even Pater declared that he would not disturb himself by reading any
+contemporary literature published by an author who did not exist before
+1870.&nbsp; He never read Stevenson or Kipling.&nbsp; Now that is a
+terrible state to be in; it is a symptom of premature old age; not physical
+but mental old age.</p>
+<p>The art of the present day is not architecture, <!-- page 311--><a name="page311"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 311</span>painting,
+or literature.&nbsp; It is the art of remaining young.&nbsp; It is the
+art of life.&nbsp; It is a science.&nbsp; The fairer, the stronger,
+the better sex&mdash;shall I call its members our equals or our superiors?&mdash;have
+always realised this.&nbsp; Indeed, they have employed ingenious mechanical
+contrivances for arresting the march of time or that physical decay
+of which we are all victims.&nbsp; Sometimes they may be said to have
+indulged in an over-wrought technique, which may be the reason why we
+are told that every woman is at heart a decadent.&nbsp; Otto Weininger
+certainly thought so.&nbsp; I have always regretted that the male sex
+was precluded by prejudice from following their example.&nbsp; I regret
+somewhat acutely the desuetude of the periwig.</p>
+<p>So we can take an example from women&mdash;they are so often our
+theme, let them be our examples in a symbolical sense.&nbsp; If we choose,
+we too can remain young intellectually, sensitive to new impressions,
+new impulses and new revelations, whether of science or art.&nbsp; The
+Greeks of the fifth century, and even of the age of St. Paul, preserved
+their youth by cultivating the superb gift of curiosity, delightful
+anxiety <!-- page 312--><a name="page312"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 312</span>about
+the present and future.&nbsp; William Morris once described the Whigs
+as careless of the past, ignorant of the present, and fearful of the
+future.&nbsp; Whatever your politics are, do not be like the Whigs as
+described by William Morris.&nbsp; Cultivate a feminine curiosity.&nbsp;
+I used to be told the old story of Blue Beard as a warning against that
+particular failing.&nbsp; I see in it a much profounder moral.&nbsp;
+It is the emancipation of woman; and asserts her right, if not to vote,
+at least to be curious.&nbsp; Her curiosity rid the world of a monster,
+and in her curiosity we see the nucleus of the new drama.&nbsp; That
+little blood-stained key unlocked for us the cupboard where the family
+skeleton had been left too long in the cold; it was time that he joined
+the festive board, or, at least, appeared on the boards: and now, I
+am glad to say, he has done so; and he is called new-fangled.&nbsp;
+Do not let us call things &lsquo;new-fangled.&rsquo;&nbsp; New-fangled
+medicine probably saves fifty per cent. of the population from premature
+death.&nbsp; Do not speak of the &lsquo;crudity of youth.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+Youth is sometimes crude.&nbsp; It is better than being rude.&nbsp;
+It is an error to mock at the single <!-- page 313--><a name="page313"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 313</span>virtue
+a possible offender may possess.&nbsp; I observe that men of science
+remain younger intellectually, and even physically, than artists or
+men of letters.&nbsp; I believe it is because to them science is always
+full of surprises and fresh impressions.&nbsp; They know there is practically
+no end to their knowledge; and that in the study of science there is
+no decay, whatever they may detect in the crust of the earth or on the
+face of heaven.&nbsp; They are never satisfied with the past.&nbsp;
+They look to youth and its enthusiasms for realising their own dreams
+and developing their own hypotheses.&nbsp; And as there are great men
+of science to-day, so, too, there are great men of letters, great poets,
+and great painters, some of whose names you may not have heard.&nbsp;
+But when you do hear of them I beg of you not to regard any of them
+as symptoms of decay, even if their technique is elaborate and over-wrought.&nbsp;
+The <i>early</i> work of every modern painter is over-elaborate and
+over-wrought, just as all the work of early painters is over-elaborate
+and over-wrought.&nbsp; Do not greet the dawn as though it were a lowering
+sunset.&nbsp; Listen, and, with William Blake, you may <!-- page 314--><a name="page314"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 314</span>hear
+the sons of God shouting for joy.&nbsp; If your mind is bent on decay,
+read that neglected poet, Byron.&nbsp; He thought the romantic movement,
+of which he became the accidental centre, a symptom of decay.&nbsp;
+Read any period of history and its literature, and you will find the
+same cry reiterated.&nbsp; When you have read an old book go out and
+buy a new one.&nbsp; When you have sold your old masters, go out and
+buy new masters.&nbsp; Aladdin&rsquo;s maid is one of the wronged characters
+of legend. . . . Of the Pierian spring there are many fountains.&nbsp;
+Yet it is a spring which never runs dry; though it flows with greater
+freedom at one season than at another, with greater volume from one
+fountain than some other.&nbsp; In the glens of Parnassus there are
+hidden flowers always blooming; though, to the binoculars of the tourist,
+the mountain seems unusually barren.&nbsp; You will find that youth
+does not vanish with the rose, that you need never close the sweet-scented
+manuscript of love, science, art or literature.&nbsp; In them youth
+returns like daffodils that come before the swallow dares, and take
+the winds of March with beauty: or like the snapdragons which <!-- page 315--><a name="page315"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 315</span>Cardinal
+Newman saw blossoming on the wall at Oxford, and which became for him
+the symbol of hope.&nbsp; For us they may stand as the symbol of realisation
+and the immortality of the human intellect, in which there has been
+no decay since the days of Tubal Cain.</p>
+<p><i>To</i> <span class="smcap">J. G. Legge, Esq</span>.</p>
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MASQUES &amp; PHASES***</p>
+<pre>
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+</pre></body>
+</html>
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Masques & Phases, by Robert Ross
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Masques & Phases
+
+
+Author: Robert Ross
+
+
+
+Release Date: January 24, 2006 [eBook #17601]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MASQUES & PHASES***
+
+
+
+
+
+Transcribed from the December 1909 Arthur L. Humphreys edition by David
+Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
+
+
+
+
+
+MASQUES & PHASES
+
+
+BY
+ROBERT ROSS
+
+LONDON:
+ARTHUR L. HUMPHREYS
+187 PICCADILLY, W.
+1909
+
+The author wishes to express his indebtedness, to Messrs. Smith, Elder
+for leave to reproduce 'A Case at the Museum,' which appeared in the
+_Cornhill_ of October, 1900; to the Editor of the _Westminster Gazette_,
+which first published the account of Simeon Solomon; and to the former
+proprietors of the Wilsford Press, for kindly allowing other articles to
+be here reissued. 'How we Lost the Book of Jasher' and 'The Brand of
+Isis' were contributed to two undergraduate publications, _The Spirit
+Lamp_ and _The Oxford Point of View_.
+
+_To_ HAROLD CHILD, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+THE DEDICATION.
+
+
+MY DEAR CHILD,
+
+It is not often the privilege of a contributor to address his former
+editor in so fatherly a fashion; yet it is appropriate because you
+justified an old proverb in becoming, if I may say so, my literary
+parent. Though I had enjoyed the hospitality, I dare not say the
+welcome, of more than one London editor, you were the first who took off
+the bearing-rein from my frivolity. You allowed me that freedom, of
+manner and matter, which I have only experienced in undergraduate
+periodicals. It is not any lack of gratitude to such distinguished
+editors as the late Mr. Henley; or Mr. Walter Pollock, who first accorded
+me the courtesies of print in a periodical not distinguished for its
+courtesy; or Professor C. J. Holmes, who has occasionally endured me with
+patience in the _Burlington Magazine_; or Mr. Edmund Gosse, to whom I am
+under special obligations; that I address myself particularly to you. But
+I, who am not frightened of many things, have always been frightened of
+editors. I am filled with awe when I think of the ultramarine pencil
+that is to delete my ultramontane views. You were, as I have hinted, the
+first to abrogate its use in my favour. When you, if not Consul, were at
+least Plancus, I think the only thing you ever rejected of mine was an
+essay entitled 'Editors, their Cause and Cure.' It is not included, for
+obvious reasons, in the present volume, of which you will recognise most
+of the contents. These may seem even to your indulgent eyes a trifle
+miscellaneous and disconnected. Still there is a thread common to all,
+though I cannot claim for them uniformity. There is no strict adherence
+to those artificial divisions of literature into fiction, essay,
+criticism, and poetry. Count Tolstoy, however, has shown us that a novel
+may be an essay rather than a story. No less a writer than Swift used
+the medium of fiction for his most brilliant criticism of life; his
+fables, apart from their satire, are often mere essays. Plato, Sir
+Thomas More, William Morris, and Mr. H. G. Wells have not disdained to
+transmit their philosophy under the domino of romance or myth. Some of
+the greatest poets--Ruskin and Pater for example--have chosen prose for
+their instrument of expression. If that theory is true of literature--and
+I ask you to accept it as true--how much truer is it of journalism, at
+least such journalism as mine; though I see a great gulf between
+literature and journalism far greater than that between fiction and essay-
+writing. The line, too, dividing the poetry of Keats from the prose of
+Sir Thomas Browne is far narrower, in my opinion, than the line dividing
+Pope from Tennyson. And I say this mindful of Byron's scornful couplet
+and the recent animadversions of Lord Morley.
+
+There are essays in my book cast in the form of fiction; criticism cast
+in the form of parody; and a vein of high seriousness sufficiently
+obvious, I hope, behind the masques and phases of my jesting. The
+psychological effects produced by works of art and archaeology, by drama
+and books, on men and situations--such are the themes of these passing
+observations.
+
+And though you find them like an old patchwork quilt I hope you will
+laugh, in token of your acceptance, if not of the book at least of my
+lasting regard and friendship for yourself.
+
+Ever yours,
+ROBERT ROSS.
+
+5 _Hertford Street_, _Mayfair_, _W_.
+
+
+
+
+A CASE AT THE MUSEUM.
+
+
+It is a common error to confuse the archaeologist with the mere collector
+of ignoble trifles, equally pleased with an unusual postage stamp or a
+scarce example of an Italian primitive. Nor should the impertinent
+curiosity of local antiquaries, which sees in every disused chalk-pit
+traces of Roman civilisation, be compared with the rare predilection
+requisite for a nobler pursuit. The archaeologist preserves for us those
+objects which time has forgotten and passing fashion rejected; in the
+museums he buries our ancient eikons, where they become impervious to
+neglect, praise, or criticism; while the collector--a malicious atavist
+unless he possess accidental perceptions--merely rescues the mistakes of
+his forefathers, to crowd public galleries with an inconsequent lumber
+which a better taste has taught as to despise.
+
+In the magic of escaped conventions surely none is more powerful than the
+Greek, and even now, though we yawn over the enthusiasm of the
+Renaissance mirrored in our more cadenced prose, there are some who can
+still catch the delightful contagion which seized the princes and
+philosophers of Europe in that Martin's Summer of Middle Age.
+
+Of the New Learning already become old, Professor Lachsyrma is reputed a
+master. Scarcely any one in England holds a like position. He is sixty,
+and, though his youth is said to have been eventful, he hardly looks his
+age. He speaks English with a delightful accent, and there always hangs
+about his presence a melancholy halo of mystery and Italy. His quiet
+unassumed familiarity with every museum and library on the Continent
+astonishes even the most erudite Teuton. Among archaeologists he is
+thought a pre-eminent palaeographer, among palaeographers a great
+archaeologist. I have heard him called the Furtwangler of Britain. His
+facsimiles and collated texts of the classics are familiar throughout the
+world. He has independent means, and from time to time entertains
+English and foreign _cognoscenti_ with elegant simplicity at his
+wonderful house in Kensington. His conversation is more informing than
+brilliant. Yet you may detect an unaccountable melancholy in his voice
+and manner, attributed by the irreverent to his constant visits to the
+Museum. Religious people, of course, refer to his loss of faith at
+Oxford; for I regret to say the Professor has been an habitual
+freethinker these many years.
+
+However it may be, Professor Lachsyrma is sad, and has not yet issued his
+edition of the newly discovered poems of Sappho unearthed in Egypt some
+time since--an edition awaited so impatiently by poets and scholars.
+
+Some years ago, on retiring from his official appointment, Professor
+Lachsyrma, being a married man, searched for some apartment remote from
+his home, where he might work undisturbed at labours long since become
+important pleasures. You cannot grapple with uncials, cursives, and the
+like in a domestic environment. The preparation of facsimiles,
+transcripts, and palaeographical observations, reports of excavations and
+catalogues, demands isolation and complete immunity from the trivialities
+of social existence.
+
+In a large Bloomsbury studio he found a retreat suitable to his
+requirements. The uninviting entrance, up a stone staircase leading
+immediately from the street, was open till nightfall, the rest of the
+house being used for storage by second-hand dealers in Portland Street.
+No one slept on the premises, but a caretaker came at stated intervals to
+light fires and close the front door; for which, however, the Professor
+owned a pass-key, each room having, as in modern flats, an independent
+door that might be locked at pleasure. The general gloom of the building
+never tempted casual callers. The Professor purposely abstained from the
+decoration or even ordinary furnishing of his chamber. The whitewashed
+walls were covered with dust-bitten maps, casts of bas-reliefs,
+engravings of ruins. Behind the door were stacked huge packing-cases
+containing the harvest of a recent journey to the eastern shores of the
+Mediterranean. Along one wall mutilated statues and torsos were
+promiscuously mounted on trestles or temporary pedestals made of inverted
+wooden boxes. Above them a large series of shelves bulging with folios,
+manuscript notebooks, pamphlets, and catalogues ran up to the window,
+which faced north-east, admitting a strong top-light through panes of
+ground glass; the lower sash was hidden by permanent blinds in order to
+shut out all view of the opposite houses and the street below. A long
+narrow table occupied the centre of the room. It was always strewn with
+magnifying-glasses, proofs, printers' slips, negatives--the litter of a
+palaeographic student. There were three or four wooden chairs for the
+benefit of scholarly friends, and an armchair upholstered in green rep
+near the stove. In a corner stood the most striking, perhaps the only
+striking, object in the room--a huge mummy from the Fayyum. The canopic
+jars and outer coffins belonging to it were still unpacked in the freight
+cases. It had been purchased from a bankrupt Armenian dealer in Cairo
+along with a number of Graeco-Egyptian antiquities and papyri, of far
+greater interest to the Professor than the mummy itself. As soon as the
+interior was examined it was to be presented to the Museum; but more
+entertaining and important studies delayed its removal. For many months,
+with a curious grave smile, the face on the shell seemed to look down
+with amused and permanent interest on Professor Lachsyrma struggling with
+the orthography of some forgotten scribe, and arguing with a friend on
+mutilated or corrupt passages in a Greek palimpsest.
+
+Here, late one afternoon, Professor Lachsyrma was deciphering some yellow
+leaves of papyrus. The dusk was falling, and he laid down the pen with
+which he was delicately transcribing uncials on sheets of foolscap, in
+order to light a lamp on the table. It was 6.30 by an irritating little
+American clock recently presented him by one of his children, noisy
+symbol and only indication that he held commune with a modern life he so
+heartily despised. As the housekeeper entered with some tea he took up a
+copy of a morning paper (a violent transition from uncials), and glanced
+at the first lines of the leader:
+
+ The Trustees of the British Museum announce one of the most
+ sensational literary discoveries in recent years, a discovery which
+ must startle the world of scholars, and even the apathetic public at
+ large. This is none other than the recovery of the long-lost poems of
+ Sappho, manuscripts of which were last heard of in the tenth century,
+ when they were burnt at Rome and Byzantium. We shall have to go back
+ to the fifteenth century, to the Fall of Constantinople, to the
+ Revival of Learning, ere we can find a fitting parallel to match the
+ importance of this recent find. Not since the spade of the excavator
+ uncovered from its shroud of earth the flawless beauty of the Olympian
+ Hermes has such a delightful acquisition been made to our knowledge of
+ Greek literature. The name of Professor Lachsyrma has long been one
+ to conjure with, and all of us should experience pleasure (where
+ surprise in his case is out of the question) on learning that his
+ recent tour to Egypt, besides greatly benefiting his health, was the
+ means of restoring to eager posterity one of the most precious
+ monuments of Hellenic culture.
+
+'Dear me, I had no idea the press could be so entertaining,' thought the
+Professor, as a smile of satisfaction spread over his well-chiselled
+face. Archaeologists are not above reading personal paragraphs and
+leaders about themselves, though current events do not interest them. So
+absorbing is their pursuit of antiquity that they are obliged to affect a
+plausible indifference and a refined ignorance about modern affairs. Nor
+are they very generous members of the community. Perhaps dealing in dead
+gods, perpetually handling precious objects which have ceased to have any
+relation to life, or quarrelling about languages no one ever uses, blunts
+their sensibilities. At all events, they have none of that loyalty
+distinguishing members of other learned professions. The canker of
+jealousy eats perpetually at their hearts.
+
+Professor Lachsyrma was too well endowed by fortune to grudge his former
+colleagues their little incomes or inadequate salaries at the Museum.
+Still, his recent discovery would not only enhance his fame in the
+learned world and his reputed _flair_ for manuscripts--it would irritate
+those rivals in England and Germany who, in the more solemn reviews,
+resisted some of his conclusions, canvassed his facts, and occasionally
+found glaring errors in his texts. How jealous the discovery would make
+young Fairleigh, for all his unholy knowledge of Greek vases, his
+handsome profile, and his predilection for going too frequently into
+society!--a taste not approved by other officials. How it would anger
+old Gully! Professor Lachsyrma drank some more tea with further
+satisfaction. Sappho herself could not have felt more elated on the
+completion of one of her odes; we know she was poignant and sensitive.
+Thus for a whole hour he idled with his thoughts--rare occupation for so
+industrious a man. He was startled from the reverie by a slight knock at
+his door.
+
+'Come in,' he said coldly. There was a touch of annoyance in his tone.
+Visitors, frequent enough in the morning, rarely disturbed him in the
+afternoon.
+
+'To whom have I the--duty of speaking?' He raised his well-preserved
+spare form to its full height. The long loose alpaca coat, velvet skull-
+cap, and pointed beard gave him the appearance of an eminent
+ecclesiastic.
+
+The subdued light in the room presented only a dim figure on the
+threshold, and the piercing eyes of the Professor could only see a
+blurred white face against the black frame of the open door. A strange
+voice replied:
+
+'I am sorry to disturb you, Professor Lachsyrma. I shall not detain you
+for more than--an hour.'
+
+'If you will kindly write and state the nature of your business, I can
+give you an appointment to-morrow or the day after. At the present
+moment, you will observe, I am busy. I never see visitors except by
+appointment.'
+
+'I am sorry to inconvenience you. Necessity compels me to choose my own
+hours for interviewing any one.'
+
+The Professor then suddenly removed the green cardboard shade from the
+lamp. The discourteous intruder was now visible for his inspection.
+
+He was a fair man of uncertain age, but could not be more than twenty-
+eight. He wore his flaxen hair rather long and ill-kempt; his face might
+have been handsome, but the flesh was white and flaccid; the features,
+though regular, devoid of character; the blue eyes had so little
+expression that a professed physiognomist would have found difficulty in
+'placing' their possessor. His black clothes were shiny with age; his
+gait was shuffling and awkward.
+
+'My name, though it will not convey very much to you, is Frank Carrel. I
+am a scholar, an archaeologist, a palaeographer, and--other things
+besides.'
+
+'A beggar and a British Museum reader,' was the mental observation of the
+Professor. The other seemed to read his thoughts.
+
+'You think I want pecuniary assistance; well, I do.'
+
+'I fear you have come to the wrong person, at the wrong time, and if I
+may say so, in the wrong way. I do not like to be disturbed at this
+hour. Will you kindly leave me this instant?'
+
+Carrel's manner changed and became more deferential.
+
+'If you will allow me to show you something on which I want your opinion,
+something I can leave with you, I will go away at once and come back to-
+morrow at any time you name.'
+
+'Very well,' said the Professor, wearily, ready to compromise the matter
+for the moment.
+
+From a small bag he was carrying Carrel produced a roll of papyrus. The
+Professor's eyes gleamed; he held out his hands greedily to receive it,
+fixing a searching, suspicious glance on Carrel.
+
+'Where did you get this, may I ask?'
+
+'I want your opinion first, and then I will tell you.'
+
+The Professor moved towards the lamp, replaced the cardboard green shade,
+sat down, and with a strong magnifying-glass examined the papyrus with
+evident interest. Carrel, appreciating the interest he was exciting,
+talked on in rapid jerky sentences.
+
+'Yes. I think you will be able to help me. I am sure you will do so.
+Like yourself, I am a scholar, and might have occupied a position in
+Europe similar to your own.'
+
+The Professor smiled grimly, but did not look up from the table as Carrel
+continued:
+
+'Mine has been a strange career. I was educated abroad. I became a
+scholar at Cambridge. There was no prize I did not carry off. I knew
+more Greek than both Universities put together. Then I was cursed not
+only with inclination for vices, but with capacity and courage to
+practise them--liquor, extravagance, gambling--amusements for rich
+people; but I was poor.'
+
+'It is a very sad and a very common story,' said the Professor
+sententiously, but without looking up from the table. 'I myself was an
+Oxford man. Your name is quite unfamiliar to me.'
+
+'I fancy if you asked them at Cambridge they would certainly remember
+me.'
+
+'I shall make a point of doing so,' said the professor drily. He
+affected to be giving only partial attention to the narrative; but though
+he seemed to be sedulous in his examination of the papyrus, he was
+listening intently.
+
+'I was a great disappointment to the Dons,' Carrel said with a short
+laugh, and he lit a cigarette with all the swagger of an undergraduate.
+
+'And to your parents?' queried Lachsyrma.
+
+'My mother was dead. I don't exactly know who my father was. I fear
+these details bore you, however. To-morrow--' he added satirically.
+
+'A very romantic story, no doubt,' said the Professor, rising from his
+chair, 'and it interests me--moderately; but before we go on any further,
+I will be candid with you. That papyrus is a forgery--a very clever
+forgery, too. I wonder why the writer tried Euripides; we have almost
+enough of him.'
+
+'So do I sometimes,' returned Carrel cheerfully. The Professor arched
+his eyebrows in surprise.
+
+He removed the green cardboard lampshade to keep his equivocal visitor
+under strict observation.
+
+'If you knew it was a forgery, why did you waste my time and your own in
+bringing it here? In order to tell me a long story about yourself, which
+if true is extraordinarily dull?'
+
+It is almost an established convention for experts to be rude when they
+have given an adverse opinion on anything submitted to them. It gives
+weight to their statements. In the present case, however, the Professor
+was really annoyed.
+
+'I wanted to know if you recognised the papyrus,' said Carrel, and he
+smiled disingenuously. The Professor was startled.
+
+'Yes; it was offered to me in Cairo last winter by a German dealer in
+antiquities. I recognised it at once. May I felicitate the talented
+author?'
+
+'No. You would have been taken in if I were the author.'
+
+Professor Lachsyrma waved a white hand, loaded with scarabs and gems, in
+a deprecatory, patronising manner towards Carrel.
+
+'I must apologise if I have wronged you. I am hardened to these little
+amenities between brother palaeographers. Envy, jealousy, call it what
+you will, attacks those in high places. There may be unrecognised
+artists, mute inglorious Miltons, Chattertons, starving in garrets,
+Shakespeares in the workhouse, while dull modern productions are
+applauded on the silly English stage, and poetasters are crowned by the
+Academies; but believe me that in Archaeology, in the deciphering of
+manuscripts, the quack is detected immediately. The science has been
+carried to such a state of perfection that, if our knowledge is still
+unhappily imperfect, our materials inadequate, the public recognition of
+our services quite out of proportion to our labours, there is now no
+permanent place for the charlatan or the forger. The first would do
+better as an art critic for the daily papers; the other might turn his
+attention to the simple necessary cheque, or the safer and more enticing
+Bank of England note. If you are an honest expert, there is a wide field
+for your talents; and if I do not believe you to be anything of the kind,
+you have yourself to blame for my scepticism. You came here without an
+introduction, without any warning of your arrival. You refuse to leave
+my room. You inform me that you want money with a candour unusual among
+beggars. You then ask me to inspect a forged manuscript which you either
+know or suspect me to have seen before. Should you have no explanation
+to offer for this outrageous intrusion, may I ask you to leave the
+premises immediately?'
+
+As he finished this somewhat pompous harangue he pointed menacingly
+towards the door. He was slightly nervous, for Carrel, who was sitting
+down, remained seated, his hands folded, gazing up with an insolent
+childish stare. He might have been listening to an eloquent preacher
+whom he thoroughly despised.
+
+'Professor Lachsyrma,' Carrel said in a sweet winning voice, 'I will go
+away if you like now, but I have nearly finished my errand and we may as
+well dispatch an affair tiresome to both of us, this evening, instead of
+postponing it. I want you to give me 1000_l_.'
+
+The Professor rubbed his eyes. Was he dreaming? Was this some elaborate
+practical joke? Was it the confidence trick? He seemed to lose his self-
+possession, gaped on Carrel for some seconds, then controlled himself.
+
+'And why should I give you 1000_l_.?'
+
+'I am a blackmailer. I am a forger of manuscripts. I have more Greek in
+my little finger than you have in your long body. I began to tell you my
+history. I thought it might interest you. I do not propose to burden
+you with it any further. To-night I ask you for 1000_l_., to-morrow I
+shall ask you for 2000_l_., and the day after--'
+
+'The Sibyl was scarcely so extortionate when she offered the Tarquin
+literary wares that no subsequent research with which I am acquainted has
+proved to be spurious. And you, Mr. Carrel, offer me forgeries--merely
+forgeries.'
+
+Fear expressed itself in clumsy satire. He was thoroughly alarmed. He
+began rapidly to review his own antecedents, and to scrape his memory for
+discreditable incidents. He could think of nothing he need feel ashamed
+of, nothing the world might not thoroughly investigate. There were mean
+actions, but many generous ones to balance in the scale.
+
+His knowledge of life was really slight, as his intimacy with Archaeology
+(so he told himself) was profound. One foolish incident, a midsummer
+madness, before he went to Oxford, was all he had to blush for. This, he
+frequently confessed, not without certain pride, to his wife, the
+daughter of a respectable man of letters from Massachusetts. He firmly
+and privately believed an omission in a catalogue a far greater sin than
+a breach of the Decalogue. But ethics are of little consequence where
+conduct is above reproach. When buying antiquities he would come across
+odd people from time to time, but never any one who openly avowed himself
+a blackmailer and a forger. The novel experience was embarrassing and
+unpleasant, but there was really little to fear. In all the delight of a
+clear conscience, since Carrel vouchsafed no reply to his sardonic
+Sibylline allusion, he said:
+
+'You have advanced no reason why I should hand you to-day or to-morrow
+these modest sums you demand.'
+
+'Then I will tell you,' said Carrel, standing up suddenly. 'I fabricated
+the poems of Sappho,--yes, the manuscript from which _you_ are reaping so
+much credit'--he took up the newspaper--'from the morning press. When I
+take to art criticism, as you kindly suggested a dishonest man might do,
+it will be of a livelier description than any to which you are usually
+accustomed. Vain dupe, you think yourself impeccable. Infallible ass,
+there is hardly a museum in Europe where my manuscripts are not carefully
+preserved for the greatest and rarest treasures by senile curators, too
+ignorant to know their errors or too vain to acknowledge them. I fancied
+you clever; until now I do not know that I ever caught you out, though
+you may have bought many of my wares for all I know. I find you,
+however, like the rest--dull, pedantic, and Pecksniffian. At Cambridge
+we were not taught pretty manners, but we knew enough not to give
+fellowships to pretentious charlatans like yourself.'
+
+The room swam round Professor Lachsyrma, and the mummy behind the door
+grinned. The plaster casts and the statues seemed to wave their
+mutilated limbs with the joy of demoniacal possession. Dead things were
+startled into life. Sick giddiness permeated his brain. It was some
+horrible nightmare. Yet his soul's tempest was entirely subjective;
+outwardly his demeanour suffered no change. His tormentor noted with
+astonishment and admiration his apparent self-control. There was merely
+a slight falter in his speech.
+
+'What proofs have you? A blackmailer must have some token--something on
+which to base a ridiculous libel.'
+
+'A few minutes ago I handed you a spurious papyrus, which you tell me you
+recognise. In the same lot of rubbish, purporting to come from the
+Fayyum, were the alleged poems of Sappho. You swallowed the bait which
+has waited for you so long, and, if it is any consolation to you, I will
+admit that in the opinion of the profession, to continue my piscatorial
+simile, I have landed the largest salmon.'
+
+'I am deeply sensible of the compliment, but I must point out to you, my
+friend, that your coming to tell me that a papyrus I happen to have
+purchased from one of your shady friends is counterfeit, does not
+necessarily prove it to be so.'
+
+The Professor realised that he must act cautiously, and consider his
+position quietly. Each word must be charged with suppressed meaning. His
+eyes wandered over the room, resting now and again on the majestic,
+impassive smile of the mummy. It seemed to restore his nerve. He found
+himself unconsciously looking towards it over Carrel's head each time he
+spoke. While the blackmailer, seated once more, gazed up to his face
+with a defiant, insolent stare, swinging his chair backwards and
+forwards, unconcerned at the length of the interview, apparently careless
+of its issue. The Professor brooded on the terrible chagrin, the wounded
+vanity of discovering himself the victim of an obviously long-contrived
+hoax. At his asking for a proof, Carrel laughed.
+
+'You are sceptical at last,' he sneered. 'I have the missing portions of
+the papyrus here with me. You can have them for a song. I was afraid to
+leave the roll too complete, lest I should invite detection. It would be
+a pity to let them go to some other museum. Berlin is longing for a new
+acquisition.'
+
+Then he produced from his bag damning evidence of the truth of his
+story--deftly confected sheets of papyrus, brown with the months it had
+taken to fabricate them, and cracked with forger's inks and acids--ghastly
+replicas of the former purchase. Nervously the Professor replaced the
+green cardboard shade over the lamp, as though the glare affected his
+eyes.
+
+'But how do you know I have not discovered the forgery already?' he said,
+craftily. Carrel started. 'And see what I am sending to the press this
+evening,' he added.
+
+Walking to the end of the table, he picked up a sheet of paper where
+there was writing, and another object which Carrel could not see in the
+gloom, so quickly and adroitly was the action accomplished.
+
+'Shall I read it to you, or will you read it yourself?'
+
+He advanced again towards the lamp, held the paper in the light, and
+beckoned to Carrel, who leant over the table to see what was written.
+Then Professor Lachsyrma plunged a long Greek knife into his back. A
+toreador could hardly have done it more skilfully; the bull was pinned
+through the heart, and expired instantaneously.
+
+* * * * *
+
+Now he paced the room in deep thought. For the first time he found
+himself an actor in modern life, which hitherto for him meant digging
+among excavations, or making romantic restoration for jaded connoisseurs,
+of some faultless work of art described by Pausanias and hidden for
+centuries beneath the rubbish of modern Greece. The entire absence of
+horror appalled him. Even the dignity of tragedy was not there. He was
+wrestling with hideous melodrama, often described to him by patrons of
+Thespian art at transpontine theatres. The vulgarity--the
+anachronism--made him shudder. Having till now ignored the issue of the
+present, he began to be sceptical about the virtues of antiquity.
+Antiquity, his only religion, his god, whose mangled incompleteness
+endeared it to him, was crumbling away. He wondered if there were
+friends with whom he might share his ugly secret. There was young
+Fairleigh, who was always so modern, and actually read modern books. He
+might have coped with the blackmailer alive, but hardly with his corpse.
+You cannot run round and ask neighbours for coffins, false beards, and
+rope in the delightful convention of the _Arabian Nights_, because you
+have grazed modern life at a sharp angle, without exciting suspicion or
+running the risk of positive refusal. There was his wife, to whom he
+confided everything; but she was a lady from Massachusetts, and her
+father was European correspondent to many American papers of the highest
+repute. How could their pure ears be soiled with so sordid a confidence?
+Poor Irene! she was to have an 'At Home' the following afternoon. It
+would have to be postponed. Professor Lachsyrma fell to thinking of such
+trivial matters, contemptible in their unimportance, as we do at the
+terrible moments of our lives. He wondered if they would wait dinner for
+him. He often remained at his club--the Serapeum--to finish a discussion
+with some erudite antagonist. His absence would therefore cause no
+alarm. He consulted the little American clock; it had stopped. How like
+America! The only recorded instance, he would explain to Irene, of an
+export from that country being required--the commodity proved inadequate.
+No, that would make Irene cry. . . . The folly of hopeless, futile
+thoughts jingled on. Suddenly he heard the cry of a belated newsvendor,
+howling some British victory, some horrible scandal in Paris. Scandal,
+exposure, publicity--_there_ was the horror. He could almost hear the
+journalists stropping their pens. If his thoughts drifted towards any
+potential expiation demanded by officialism, he put them aside. A social
+_debacle_ was more fearful and vivid than the dock and its inevitable
+consequence. . . . Presently his eyes rested again on the mummy case. A
+brilliant inspiration! Here, at all events, was a temporary hiding-place
+for the corpse of the blackmailer. If it was putting new wine into old
+bottles, circumstances surely justified a violation of the proverb. Till
+now a severe unromantic Hellenist, he held Egyptology in some contempt;
+and for Egypt, except in so far as it illustrated the art of Greece or
+remained a treasure-house for Greek manuscripts, his distaste was only
+surpassed by that of the Prophet Isaiah. A bias so striking in the
+immortal Herodotus is hardly shared by your modern encyclopaedist. While
+the science of Egyptology and its adepts command rather awe and wonder
+than sympathy from the uninitiated, who keep their praises for the more
+attractive study of Greek art. Yet some of us still turn with relief
+from the serene material masterpieces of Greece, soulless in their very
+realism and truth of expression, to the vague and happily unexplained
+monsters, the rigid gods and hieratic princes, who are given new names by
+each succeeding generation. A knowledge that behind painted masks and
+gilded, tawdry gew-gaws are the remains of a once living person gives
+even the mummy a human interest denied to the most exquisite handiwork of
+Pheidias.
+
+Professor Lachsyrma at present felt only the impossibility of a situation
+that would have been difficult for many a weaker man to face. Humiliation
+overwhelms the strongest. Modern agencies for the concealment of a body
+having failed to suggest themselves, he must needs fall back on the
+despised expedient of Egypt. Palaeography and Greek art were obviously
+useless in the present instance. He understood at last why deplorable
+people wanted to abolish Greek from the University curriculum.
+
+The coffin was of varnished sycamore wood, ornamented on the outside with
+gods in their shrines and inscriptions relating to the name and titles of
+the deceased, painted in red and green. The face was carved out of a
+separate piece of wood, with the conventional beard attached to the chin;
+the eyelids were of bronze; the eyes of obsidian; wooden hands were
+crossed on the breast. Inside the lid were pictures of apes in yellow on
+a purple background, symbolising the Spirits of the East adoring the Gods
+of the Morning and Evening. The mummy itself was enclosed in a handsome
+cartonnage case laced up the back. The Professor lifted it gently out on
+the table, and substituted Carrel's body. He staunched as he best could
+the blood which trickled on to the glaring pictures of the Judgment of
+Osiris and the goddess Nut imparting the Waters of Life; then he turned
+to examine the former occupant, whom two thousand years, even at such a
+moment endowed with a greater interest than could attach to the corpse of
+a defunct blackmailer. It now occurred to him that he might profitably
+utilise the mummy cerements along with the coffin for more effectually
+concealing Carrel's body until he could arrange for its final disposal.
+He hastened to carry his idea into effect.
+
+The cartonnage case, composed of waste papyrus fragments glued together,
+was painted with figures of deities. The face was a gilded mask, on the
+headdress were lotus flowers, and the collar was studded to imitate
+precious stones. Over the breast were representations of Horus, Apis,
+and Thoth, and lower down the dead man was seen on his bier attended by
+Anubis and the children of Horus, while the soul in the form of a hawk
+hovered above. The Professor observed that an earlier method had been
+employed for the preservation and protection of the body than is usually
+found among Ptolemaic mummies.
+
+Beneath a network of blue porcelain bugles and a row of sepulchral gods
+suspended by a wire to the neck was a dusky, red-hued sheet, sewn at the
+head and feet and fastened with brown strips of linen. Under this last
+shroud were the bandages which swathed the actual corpse, inscribed with
+passages from the Book of the Dead, the mysterious fantastic directions
+for the life hereafter. The symbolism requisite for the external
+decoration of the mummy had been scrupulously executed by skilful
+artists, and the conscientious method of wrapping again indicated the
+pristine mode of embalmment practised when the craft was at its zenith,
+long before the Greek conquest of Egypt.
+
+A considerable time was occupied in unrolling the three or four hundred
+yards of linen. Meanwhile a strange fragrance of myrrh, cassia,
+cinnamon, the sweet spices and aromatic unguents used in embalming,
+filled the room. Gradually the yellow skin preserved by the natron began
+to appear through the cross-hatchings of the bandages. Attached to a
+thick gold wire round the neck and placed over the heart was a scarab of
+green basalt, mounted in a gold setting; and on the henna-stained little
+finger of the left hand was another of steatite. As the right arm was
+freed from its artificially tightened grasp a peculiar wooden cylinder
+rolled on to the floor into the heap of scented mummy dust and bandages.
+
+Languidly inquisitive, Professor Lachsyrma groped for it. Such objects
+are generally found beneath the head. There was a seal at each end, both
+of which he broke. A roll of papyrus was inside. He trembled, and with
+forced deliberation made for the table, his knees tottering from
+exhaustion. Excitement at this unexpected discovery made him forget
+Carrel. The ghastly events of the evening were for the moment blotted
+from his memory. After all, he was a palaeographer--an archaeologist
+first, a murderer afterwards. Eagerly, painfully, he began to read,
+adjusting his spectacles from time to time, the muscles of his face
+twitching with anxiety and expectation. For a long time the words were
+strange to him. Suddenly his glasses became dim. There were tears in
+his eyes; he was reading aloud, unconsciously to himself, the beautiful
+verses familiar to all students of Greek poetry:--
+
+ [Greek verse]
+
+and to students of English, in the marvellous, rendering of them by the
+late Mr. Rossetti:
+
+ 'Like the sweet apple which reddens upon the topmost bough,
+ A-top on the topmost twig,--which the pluckers forgot, somehow,--
+ Forgot it not, nay, but got it not, for none could get it till now.'
+
+The papyrus was of great length, and contained the poems of Sappho in a
+cursive literary handwriting of the third century--the real poems, lost
+to the world for over eight hundred years. It was morning now--a London
+spring morning; dawn was creeping through the great north-east light of
+the studio; birds were twittering outside. The murderer sobbed
+hysterically.
+
+* * * * *
+
+On referring to 'Euterpe,' the second book of the Histories of Herodotus,
+Professor Lachsyrma selected the second method of embalming as less
+troublesome and more expeditious. The whole matter lasted little longer
+than the seventy prescribed days. At the end of which time he was able,
+in accordance with his original intention, to deposit in a handsome glass
+case at the British Museum the Mummy of Heliodorus, a Greek settler in
+Egypt who held some official appointment at the Court of Ptolemy
+Philadelphus. It is described in the catalogue as one of the best
+examples of its kind in Europe. Indeed, it is probably unique.
+
+Professor Lachsyrma often pauses before the case when visiting our gaunt
+House of Art. Even the policeman on duty has noticed this peculiarity,
+and smiles respectfully. The Professor has ceased to ridicule
+Egyptology; and his confidence in the resources and sufficiency of
+antiquity, so rudely shaken for one long evening, is completely
+re-established.
+
+_To_ S. S. SPRIGGE, ESQ., M.D.
+
+
+
+
+THE BRAND OF ISIS.
+
+
+ 'Videant irreligiosi videant et errorem suum recognoscant. En ecce
+ pristinis aerumnis absolutus, Isidis magnae providentia gaudens Lucius
+ de sua fortuna triumphat.' APULEIUS.
+
+ 'Her image comes into the gloom
+ With her pale features moulded fair,
+ Her breathing beauty, morning bloom,
+ My heart's delight, my tongue's despair.' BINYON.
+
+ 'An Oxford scholar of family and fortune; but quaint and opinionated,
+ despising every one who has not had the benefit of an University
+ education.' RICHARDSON.
+
+ [Greek text]. HERODOTUS.
+
+I once had the good fortune to take down to dinner a young American lady
+of some personal attractions. Her vivacity and shrewdness were racial;
+her charm peculiar to herself. Her conversation consisted in a rather
+fierce denunciation of Englishmen, young Oxford Englishmen in particular.
+Their thoughts, their dress, their speech, their airs of superiority
+offended one brought up with that Batavian type of humanity, the American
+youth, to whom we have nothing exactly corresponding in this country
+except among drawing-room conjurors. But I was startled at her keen
+observation when I inquired with a smile how she knew I was not an Oxford
+man myself.
+
+'Had you been one, you would never have listened to what I have been
+saying,' she retorted. Rather nettled, I challenged her to pick out from
+the other guests those on whom she detected the brand of Isis. A pair of
+gloves was the prize for each successful guess. She won seven; in fact
+all the stakes during the course of the evening. Over one only she
+hesitated, and when he mentioned that he had neither the curiosity nor
+the energy to cross the Atlantic, she knew he came from Oxford.
+
+Yes, there is something in that manner after all. It irritates others
+besides Americans. Novelists try to describe it. We all know the hero
+who talks English with a Balliol accent--that great creature who is
+sometimes bow and sometimes cox of his boat on alternate evenings; who
+puts the weight at the University Sports and conducts the lady home from
+a College wine without a stain on her character; is rusticated for a year
+or so; returns to win the Newdigate and leaves without taking a degree.
+Or that other delightful abstraction--he has a Balliol accent too--with
+literary tastes and artistic rooms, where gambling takes place. He is
+invariably a coward, but dreadfully fascinating all the same; though he
+scorns women he has an hypnotic influence over them; something in his
+polished Oxford manner is irresistible. Throughout a career of crime his
+wonderful execution on the piano, his knowledge of Italian painting, and
+his Oxford manner never seem to desert him. We feel, not for the first
+time, how dangerous it must be to allow our simple perky unspoiled
+Colonials to associate with such deleterious exotic beings, who, though
+in fiction horsewhipped or (if heroes) shot in the last chapter, in real
+life are so apt to become prosperous city men or respected college
+officials.
+
+The Oxford manner is, alas, indefinable; I was going to say indefensible.
+Perhaps it is an attitude--a mental attitude that finds physical
+expression in the voice, the gesture, the behaviour. Oxford, not
+conduct, is three-fourths of life to those who acquire the distemper.
+Without becoming personal it is not easy to discuss purely social
+aspects, and we must seek chiefly in literature for manifestations of the
+phenomenon: in the prose of Matthew Arnold for instance--in the poems of
+Mr. Laurence Binyon, typical examples where every thought seems a mental
+reservation. Enemies rail at the voice, and the voice counts for
+something. Any one having the privilege of hearing Mr. Andrew Lang speak
+in public will know at once what I mean--a pleasure, let me hasten to
+say, only equalled by the enjoyment of his inimitable writing, so pre-
+eminently Oxonian when the subject is not St. Andrews, Folk Lore, or
+cricket. Though Oxford men have their Cambridge moments, and beneath
+their haughty exterior there sometimes beats a Cambridge heart. Behind
+such reserve you would never suspect any passions at all save one of
+pride. Even frankly irreligious Oxford men acquire an ecclesiastical pre-
+Reformation aloofness which must have piqued Thackeray quite as much as
+the refusal of the city to send him to Westminster. He complains
+somewhere that the undergraduates wear kid gloves and drink less wine
+than their jolly brethren of the Cam. He was thoroughly Cambridge in his
+attitude towards life, as you may see when he writes of his favourite
+eighteenth century in his own fascinating style. How angry he becomes
+with the vices and corruption of a dead past! Now no Oxford essayist
+would dream of being angry with the past. How annoyed the sentimental
+author of _The Four Georges_ would be with Mr. Street's genial treatment
+of the same epoch! It would, however, be the annoyance of a father for
+his eldest son, whom he sent to Oxford perhaps to show that an old slight
+was forgiven and forgotten.
+
+There have been, of course, plenty of men unravaged by the blithe
+contagion. Mr. Gladstone intellectually always seemed to me a Cambridge
+man in his energy, his enthusiasm, his political outlook. Only in his
+High Church proclivities is he suspect. The poet Shelley was an obvious
+Cantab. He was, we are told, a man of high moral character. Well,
+principles and human weakness are common to all Universities, and others
+besides Shelley have deserted their wives: but to desert your wife on
+principle seems to me callous, calculating, and Cambridge-like.
+
+A painful but interesting case came under my personal observation, and it
+illustrates the other side of the question. A clever young graduate of
+my acquaintance, after four years of distinguished scholarship at Oxford,
+came up to the metropolis and entered the dangerous lists of literature.
+It is not indiscreet if I say that he belonged to what was quite a
+brilliant little period--the days of Mr. Eric Parker, Mr. Max Beerbohm,
+and Mr. Reginald Turner. So there was nothing surprising in his literary
+tastes, though I believe he was unknown to those masters of prose. He
+was tall, good-looking, and prepossessing, but his Oxford manner was
+unusually pronounced. He never expressed disgust--no Oxford man
+does--only pained surprise at what displeased him; he never censured the
+morals or manners of people as a Cambridge man might have done. Out of
+the University pulpit no Oxford man would dream of scolding people for
+their morals. After a year of failure he fell into a decline. His
+parents became alarmed. They hinted that his ill success was due to his
+damned condescension (the father was of course a Cambridge man). I too
+suggested in a mild way that a more ingratiating manner might produce
+better luck with editors. At last his health broke down, and a wise
+family physician was called in. After studying the case for some months,
+Aesculapius (he was M.B. of Cambridge) divined that ill success rather
+than ill health was the provocative; and he related to the patient (this
+is becoming like an Arabian Night) the following story:
+
+'A certain self-made man, confiding to a friend plans for his son's
+education, remarked: "Of course I shall send him to Eton." "Why Eton?"
+said the friend. "Because he is to be a barrister, and if he did not go
+to Eton no one would speak to him if they knew his poor old father was a
+self-made man. Then he will go to Cambridge." "Why not Oxford?" said
+the friend, who was a self-made Oxford tradesman. "Because then he would
+never speak to me," replied the first self-made man.'
+
+My friend from that moment recovered. He became more tolerant; he became
+successful. He became a distinguished dramatist. He justified his early
+promise.
+
+There is in this little story perhaps a charge of snobbishness from which
+Oxford men are really entirely free. They are too conscious of their own
+superiority to be tuft-hunters, and I believe miss some of the prizes of
+life by their indifference towards those who have already 'arrived.' Yet
+they appear snobbish to others who have not had the benefit of a
+University education, and in this little essay I endeavour to hold up the
+mirror to their ill-nature--the fault to which I am unduly attached.
+Writers besides Richardson have referred to it. I might quote many
+eloquent tributes from Dryden to Wordsworth and Byron, all Cambridge men,
+who have felt the charm and acknowledged a weakness for the step-sister
+University. Cambridge has never been fortunate in having the compliment
+reciprocated. Neither Oxford men nor her own sons have been
+over-generous in her praises: you remember Ruskin on King's Chapel. And
+I, the obscurest of her children, who cast this laurel on the Isis, will
+content myself with admitting that I sincerely believe you can obtain a
+cheaper and better education at Cambridge, though it has always been my
+ambition to be mistaken for an Oxford man.
+
+I often wonder whether Mr. Cecil Rhodes, while he had the English
+Government in one pocket, the English Press in the other, and South
+Africa in the hollow of his hand, felt a certain impotency before Oxford.
+He had to acknowledge its influence over himself--an influence stronger
+than Dr. Jameson or the Afrikander Bond. He was never quite sure whether
+he admired more the loneliness of the Matoppos or the rather over-crowded
+diamond mines of Kimberley. On the grey veld he used to read _Marius the
+Epicurean_, and sought in Mr. Pater the key to the mystery he was unable
+to solve. He turned to the Thirty-nine Articles (more tampered with at
+Oxford than in any other cathedral city) with the same want of success.
+That always seems to me a real touch of Oxford in what some one well
+said, was an 'ugly life.' What a wonderful subject for the brush of a
+Royal Academician! no ordinary artist could ever do it justice: the great
+South African statesman on the lonely rocks where he had chosen his tomb;
+a book has fallen from his hand (Mr. Pater's no doubt); his eyes are
+gazing from canvas into the future he has peopled with his dreams. By
+some clever device of art or nature the clouds in the sky have shaped
+themselves into Magdalen Tower--into harmony with his thoughts, and the
+setting sun makes a mandorla behind him. He is thinking of Oxford, and
+round his head _Oriel_ clings as in 'The Blessed Damozel.'
+
+He could terrorise the Colonial Secretary, he could foment a war and add
+a new empire to England; he could not overcome his love of Oxford, the
+antithesis of all sordid financial intrigue and political marauding.
+Athens was after all a dearer name than Groot-Schuurr. He set fire to
+both.
+
+I speculate sometimes whether the University was aware of his
+testamentary dispositions before it conferred on him an honorary degree.
+I hope not. He deserved it as the greatest son of Oxford, the greatest
+Englishman of his time. Imre Kiralfy, who has done for a whole district
+of London what Mr. Rhodes tried to do for the empire, is but an
+_impresario_ beside him. A French critic says we cannot admire greatness
+in England; and this was shown by the timid way a large number of
+Imperialists, while professing to believe the war a righteous one,
+thought they would seem independent if they disclaimed approval of Mr.
+Rhodes, by not having the pluck to admit the same motives though ready
+enough to share the plunder. You may compare the ungrateful
+half-unfriendly obituaries in the press with the leaders a few days
+later, after the will was opened.
+
+But what immediately concerns us here is the intention of Mr. Rhodes. Was
+it entirely benevolence, or some wish to test the strength of Oxford--to
+bring undergraduates into contact with something coarser, some terrific
+impermeable force that would be manner-proof against Oxford? Would he
+conquer from the grave? Several Americans have been known to go through
+the University retaining the Massachusetts _patina_. What if a number of
+these savages were grafted on Oxford? How would they alter the tone? We
+shall see. It will be an interesting struggle. Shall we hear of six-
+shooters in the High?--of hominy and flannel cake for breakfast?--will
+undergrads look 'spry?'--will they 'voice' public opinion? . . . I
+forbear: my American vocabulary is limited. _Outre_ _mer, outres moeurs_,
+as Mr. Walkley might say in some guarded allusion to Paul Bourget. . . .
+I shall be sorry to see poker take the place of roulette, and the Christ
+Church meadows turned into a ranch for priggish cowboys, or Addison's
+Walk re-named the Cake Walk. But no, I believe Mr. Rhodes, if there was
+just a touch of malice in his testament, realised that Oxford manners
+were stronger than the American want of them. Oxford may be wounded, but
+I have complete confidence in the issue. These Boeotian invaders must
+succumb, as nobler stock before them. They will form an interesting
+subject for some exquisite study by Mr. Henry James, who will deal with
+their gradual civilisation. Preserved in the amber of his art they will
+become immortal.
+
+I have been able to clip only the fringe of a great theme. Athletes
+require an essay to themselves. In later age they seem to me more
+melancholy than their Cambridge peers and less successful. These
+splendid creatures are really works of art, and form our only substitute
+for sculpture in the absence of any native plastic talent. From the
+collector's point of view they belong to the best period, while the
+graceful convention of isocephaly, which has raised the standard of
+height, renders them inapt for the 'battles' of life, however well
+equipped for those of their College where the cuisine is at all
+tolerable.
+
+I am not enough of an antiquary to conjecture if there was ever a temple
+to Isis during the Roman occupation of Britain on the site of the now
+illustrious University. But I like to imagine that there existed a
+cultus of the venerable goddess in the green fields where the purple
+fritillaries, so reminiscent of the lotus, blossom in the early spring.
+In the curious formal pattern of their petals I see a symbol of the
+Oxford manner--something archaic, rigid, severe. The Oxford Don may well
+be a reversion to some earlier type, learned, mystic, and romantic as
+those priests of whom Herodotus has given us so vivid a picture. The
+worship of Apis, as Mr. Frazer or Mr. Lang would tell us, becomes then
+merely the hieroglyph for a social standard, a manner of life. This, I
+think, will explain the name Oxford on the Isis--the Ford of Apis, the ox-
+god at this one place able to pass over the benign deity. You remember,
+too, the horrid blasphemy of Cambyses (his very name suggests Cambridge),
+and the vengeance of the gods. So be it to any sacrilegious reformer who
+would transmute either the Oxford Don or the Oxford undergraduate--the
+most august of human counsellors, the most delightful of friends.
+
+(1902.)
+
+
+
+
+HOW WE LOST THE BOOK OF JASHER.
+
+
+Everyone who knows anything about art, archaeology, or science has heard
+of the famous FitzTaylor Museum at Oxbridge. And even outsiders who care
+for none of these things have heard of the quarrels and internal
+dissensions that have disturbed that usual calm which ought to reign
+within the walls of a museum. The illustrious founder, to whose
+munificence we owe this justly famous institution, provided in his will
+for the support of four curators, who govern the two separate departments
+of science and art. The University has been in the habit of making
+grants of money from time to time to these separate departments for the
+acquisition of scientific or archaeological curiosities and MSS. I
+suppose there was something wrong in the system, but whatever it may be,
+it led to notorious jealousies and disputes. At the time of which I
+write, the principal curators of the art section were Professor
+Girdelstone and Mr. Monteagle, of Prince's College. I looked after the
+scientific welfare of the museum with Lowestoft as my understudy--he was
+practically a nonentity and an authority on lepidoptera. Now, whenever a
+grant was made to the left wing of the building, as I call it, I always
+used to say that science was being sacrificed to archaeology. I mocked
+at the illuminated MSS. over which Girdelstone grew enthusiastic, and the
+musty theological folios purchased by Monteagle. They heaped abuse upon
+me, of course, when my turn came, and cracked many a quip on my splendid
+skeleton of the ichthyosaurus, the only known specimen from Greenland. At
+one time the strife broke into print, and the London press animadverted
+on our conduct. It became a positive scandal. We were advised, I
+remember, to wash our dirty linen at home, and though I have often
+wondered why the press should act as a voluntary laundress on such
+occasions, I suppose the remark is a just one.
+
+There came a day when we took the advice of the press, and from then
+until now science and art have gone hand in hand at the University of
+Oxbridge. How the breach was healed forms the subject of the present
+leaf from my memoirs.
+
+America, it has been wisely said, is the great land of fraud. It is the
+Egypt of the modern world. From America came the spiritualists, from
+America bogus goods, and cheap ideas and pirated editions, and from
+America I have every reason to believe came Dr. Groschen. But if his
+ancestors came from Rhine or Jordan, that he received his education on
+the other side of the Atlantic I have no doubt. Why he came to Oxbridge
+I cannot say. He appeared quite suddenly, like a comet. He brought
+introductions from various parts of the world--from the British Embassy
+at Constantinople, from the British and German Schools of Archaeology at
+Athens, from certain French Egyptologists at Alexandria, and a holograph
+letter from Archbishop Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis, Curator
+of the MSS. in the Monastery of St. Basil, at Mount Olympus. It was this
+last that endeared him, I believe, to the High Church party in Oxbridge.
+Dr. Groschen was already the talk of the University, the lion of the
+hour, before I met him. There was rumour of an honorary degree before I
+saw him in the flesh, at the high table of my college, a guest of the
+Provost. If Dr. Groschen did not inspire me with any confidence, I
+cannot say that he excited any feeling of distrust. He was a small,
+black, commonplace-looking little man, very neat in his attire, without
+the alchemical look of most archaeologists. Had I known then, as I know
+now, that he presented his first credentials to Professor Girdelstone, I
+might have suspected him. Of course, I took it for granted they were
+friends. When the University was ringing with praises of the generosity
+of Dr. Groschen in transferring his splendid collections of Greek
+inscriptions to the FitzTaylor Museum, I rejoiced; the next grant would
+be devoted to science, in consideration of the recently enriched
+galleries of the art and archaeological section. I only pitied the
+fatuity of the authorities for being grateful. Dr. Groschen now wound
+himself into everybody's good wishes, and the University degree was
+already conferred. He was offered a fine set of rooms in a college
+famous for culture. He became a well-known figure on the Q.P. But he
+was not always with us; he went to Greece or the East sometimes, for the
+purpose, it was said, of adding to the Groschen collection, now the glory
+of the FitzTaylor.
+
+It was after a rather prolonged period of absence that he wrote to
+Girdelstone privately, announcing a great discovery. On his return he
+was bringing home, he said, some MSS. recently unearthed by himself in
+the monastic library of St. Basil, and bought for an enormous sum from
+Sarpedon, the Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis. He was willing to sell
+them to 'some public institution' for very little over the original
+price. Girdelstone told several of us in confidence. It was public news
+next day. Scholars grew excited. There were hints at the recovery of a
+lost MS., which was to 'add to our knowledge of the antique world and
+materially alter accepted views of the early state of Roman and Greek
+society.' On hearing the news I smiled. 'Some institution,' that was
+suspicious--MSS.--they meant forgery. The new treasure was described as
+a palimpsest, consisting of fifty or sixty leaves of papyrus. On one
+side was a portion of the _Lost Book of Jasher_, of a date not later than
+the fourth century; on the other, in cursive characters, the too
+notorious work of Aulus Gellius--_De moribus Romanorum_, concealed under
+the life of a saint.
+
+But why should I go over old history? Every one remembers the excitement
+that the discovery caused--the leaders in the _Times_ and the
+_Telegraph_, the doubts of the sceptical, the enthusiasm of the
+archaeologists, the jealousy of the Berlin authorities, the offers from
+all the libraries of Europe, the aspersions of the British Museum. 'Why,'
+asked indignant critics, 'did Dr. Groschen offer his MS. to the
+authorities at Oxbridge?' 'Because Oxbridge had been the first to
+recognise his genius,' was the crushing reply. And Professor Girdelstone
+said that should the FitzTaylor fail to acquire the MS. by any false
+economy on the part of the University authorities, the prestige of the
+museum would be gone. But this is all old history. I only remind the
+reader of what he knows already. I began to bring all my powers, and the
+force of the scientific world in Oxbridge, to bear in opposition to the
+purchase of the MS. I pulled every wire I knew, and execration was
+heaped on me as a vandal, though I only said the University money should
+be devoted to other channels than the purchase of doubtful MSS. I was
+doing all this, when I was startled by the intelligence that Dr. Groschen
+had suddenly come to the conclusion that his find was after all only a
+forgery.
+
+The Book of Jasher was a Byzantine fake, and he ascribed the date at the
+very earliest to the reign of Alexis Comnenus. Theologians became fierce
+on the subject. They had seen the MS.; they knew it was genuine. And
+when Dr. Groschen began to have doubts on Aulus Gellius, suggesting it
+was a sixteenth-century fabrication, the classical world 'morally and
+physically rose and denounced' him. Dr. Groschen, who had something of
+the early Christian in his character, bore this shower of opprobrium like
+a martyr. 'I may be mistaken,' he said, 'but I believe I have been
+deceived. I have been taken in before, and I would not like the MS.
+offered to any library before two of the very highest experts could
+decide as to its authenticity.' People had long learnt to regard Dr.
+Groschen himself as quite the highest expert in the world. They thought
+he was out of his senses, though the press commended him for his honesty,
+and one daily journal, loudest in declaring its authenticity, said it was
+glad Dr. Groschen had detected the forgery long recognised by their
+special correspondent. Dr. Groschen was furthermore asked to what
+experts he would submit his MS., and by whose decision he would abide.
+After some delay and correspondence, he could think of only two--Professor
+Girdelstone and Monteagle. They possessed great opportunities, he said,
+of judging on such matters. Their erudition was of a steadier and more
+solid nature than his own. Then the world and Oxbridge joined again in a
+chorus of praise. What could be more honest, more straightforward, than
+submitting the MS. to a final examination at the hands of the two
+curators of the FitzTaylor, who were to have the first refusal of the MS.
+if it was considered authentic? No museum was ever given such an
+opportunity. Professor Girdelstone and his colleague soon came to a
+conclusion. They decided that there could be no doubt as to the
+authenticity of the Aulus Gellius. In portions it was true that between
+the lines other characters were partly legible; but this threw no slur on
+the MS. itself. Of the commentary on the book of Jasher, it will be
+remembered, they gave no decisive opinion, and it is still an open
+question. They expressed their belief that the Aulus Gellius was alone
+worth the price asked by Dr. Groschen. It only remained now for the
+University to advance a sum to the FitzTaylor for the purchase of this
+treasure. The curators, rather prematurely perhaps, wrote privately to
+Dr. Groschen making him an offer for his MS., and paid him half the
+amount out of their own pockets, so as to close the bargain once and for
+all.
+
+The delay of the University in making the grant caused a good deal of
+apprehension in the hearts of Professor Girdelstone and Monteagle. They
+feared that the enormous sums offered by the Berlin Museum would tempt
+even the simple-minded Dr. Groschen, though the interests of the
+FitzTaylor were so near his heart. These suspicions proved unfounded as
+they were ungenerous. The _savant_ was contented with his degree and
+college rooms, and showed no hurry for the remainder of the sum to be
+paid.
+
+One night, when I was seated in my rooms beside the fire, preparing
+lectures on the ichthyosaurus, I was startled by a knock at my door. It
+was a hurried, jerky rap. I shouted, 'Come in.' The door burst open,
+and on the threshold I saw Monteagle, with a white face, on which the
+beads of perspiration glittered. At first I thought it was the rain
+which had drenched his cap and gown, but in a moment I saw that the
+perspiration was the result of terror or anxiety (cf. my lectures on
+Mental Equilibrium). Monteagle and I in our undergraduate days had been
+friends; but like many University friendships, ours proved evanescent;
+our paths had lain in different directions.
+
+He had chosen archaeology. We failed to convert one another to each
+other's views. When he became a member of 'The Disciples,' a mystic
+Oxbridge society, the fissure between us widened to a gulf. We nodded
+when we met, but that was all. With Girdelstone I was not on speaking
+terms. So when I found Monteagle on my threshold I confess I was
+startled.
+
+'May I come in?' he asked.
+
+'Certainly, certainly,' I said cordially. 'But what is the matter?'
+
+'Good God! Newall,' he cried, 'that MS. after all is a forgery.'
+
+This expression I thought unbecoming in a 'Disciple,' but I only smiled
+and said, 'Really, you think so?' Monteagle then made reference to our
+old friendship, our unfortunate dissensions. He asked for my help, and
+then really excited my pity. Some member of the High Church party in
+Oxbridge had apparently been to Greece to attend a Conference on the
+Union of the Greek and Anglican Churches. While there he met Sarpedon,
+Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis, and in course of conversation told him
+of the renowned Dr. Groschen. Sarpedon became distant at mention of the
+Doctor's name. He denied all knowledge of the famous letter of
+introduction, and said the only thing he knew of the Professor was, that
+he was usually supposed to have been the thief who had made off with a
+large chest of parchments from the monastery of St. Basil.
+
+The Greek Patriarch refused to give any further information. The English
+clergyman reported the incident privately to Girdelstone.
+
+Dr. Groschen's other letters were examined, and found to be fabrications.
+The Book of Jasher and Aulus Gellius were submitted to a like scrutiny.
+Girdelstone and Monteagle came reluctantly to the conclusion that they
+were also vulgar and palpable forgeries. At the end of his story
+Monteagle almost burst into tears. I endeavoured to cheer him, although
+I was shrieking with laughter at the whole story.
+
+Of course it was dreadful for him. If he exposed Dr. Groschen, his own
+reputation as an expert would be gone, and the Doctor was already paid
+half the purchase money. Monteagle was so agitated that it was with
+difficulty I could get his story out of him, and to this day I have never
+quite learned the truth. Controlling my laughter, I sent a note round to
+Professor Girdelstone, asking him to come to my rooms. In about ten
+minutes he appeared, looking as draggled and sheepish as poor Monteagle.
+In his bosom he carried the fateful MS., which I now saw for the first
+time. If it was a forgery (and I have never been convinced) it was
+certainly a masterpiece. From what Girdelstone said to me, then and
+since, I think that the Aulus Gellius portion was genuine enough, and the
+Book of Jasher possibly the invention of Groschen; however, it will never
+be discovered if one or neither was genuine. Monteagle thought the ink
+used was a compound of tea and charcoal, but both he and Girdelstone were
+too suspicious to believe even each other by this time.
+
+I tried to console them, and promised all help in my power. They were
+rather startled and alarmed when I laid out my plan of campaign. In the
+first place, I was to withdraw all opposition to the purchase of the MS.
+Girdelstone and Monteagle, meanwhile, were to set about having the Aulus
+Gellius printed and facsimiled; for I thought it was a pity such a work
+should be lost to the world. The facsimile was only to be _announced_;
+and publication by the University Press to be put in hand at once. The
+text of Aulus Gellius can still be obtained, and a translation of those
+portions which can be rendered into English forms a volume of Mr. Bohn's
+excellent classical library, which will satisfy the curious, who are
+unacquainted with Latin. Professor Girdelstone was to write a preface in
+very guarded terms. This will be familiar to all classical scholars.
+
+It was with great difficulty that I could persuade Girdelstone and
+Monteagle of the sincerity of my actions; but the poor fellows were ready
+to catch at any straw for hope from exposure, and they listened to every
+word I said. As the whole University knew I was not on speaking terms
+with Girdelstone, I told him to adopt a Nicodemus-like attitude, and to
+come to me in the night-time, when we could hold consultation. To the
+outer world, during these anxious evenings, when I would see no one, I
+was supposed to be preparing my great syllabus of lectures on the
+ichthyosaurus. I communicated to my fellow-curators my plans bit by bit
+only, for I thought it would be better for their nerves. I made
+Monteagle send round a notice to the press:--'That the MS. about to
+become the property of the University Museum was being facsimiled prior
+to publication, and at the earliest possible date would be on view in the
+Galleries where Dr. Groschen's collections are now exhibited.' This was
+to quiet the complaints already being made by scholars and commentators
+about the difficulty of obtaining access to the MS. The importunities of
+several religious societies to examine the Book of Jasher became
+intolerable. The Dean of Rothbury, an old friend of Girdelstone's, came
+from the north on purpose to collate the new-found work. With permission
+he intended, he said, to write a small brochure for the S.P.C.K. on the
+Book of Jasher, though I believe that he also felt some curiosity in
+regard to Aulus Gellius. I may be wronging him. The subterfuges, lies,
+and devices to which we resorted were not very creditable to ourselves.
+Girdelstone gave him a dinner, and Monteagle and I persuaded the Senate
+to confer on him an honorary degree. We amused him with advance sheets
+of the commentary. He was quite a month at Oxbridge, but at last was
+recalled on business to the north by some lucky domestic family
+bereavement. Our next difficulty was the news that Sarpedon, Patriarch
+of Hermaphroditopolis, was about to visit England to attend an Anglican
+Synod. I thought Girdelstone would go off his head. Monteagle's hair
+became grey in a few weeks. Sarpedon was sure to be invited to Oxbridge.
+He would meet Dr. Groschen and then expose him. Our fears, I soon found
+out, were shared by the _savant_, who left suddenly on one of those
+mysterious visits to the East. I saw that our action must be prompt; or
+Girdelstone and Monteagle would be lost. They were horrified when I told
+them I proposed placing the MS. on public view in the museum immediately.
+A large plate-glass case was made by my orders, in which Girdelstone and
+Monteagle, who obeyed me like lambs, deposited their precious burden. It
+was placed in the Groschen Hall of the FitzTaylor. The crush that
+afternoon was terrible. All the University came to peer at the new
+acquisition. I must tell you that Dr. Groschen's antiquities occupied a
+temporary and fire-proof erection built of wood and tin, at the back of
+the museum, with which it was connected by a long stone gallery, adorned
+with plaster casts.
+
+I mingled with the crowd, and heard the remarks; though I advised
+Girdelstone and Monteagle to keep out of the way, as it would only upset
+them. Various dons came up and chaffed me about the opposition I made to
+the MS. being purchased. A little man of dark, sallow complexion asked
+me if I was Professor Girdelstone. He wanted to obtain leave to examine
+the MS. I gave him my card, and asked him to call on me, when I would
+arrange a suitable day. He told me he was a Lutheran pastor from
+Pomerania.
+
+I was the last to leave the museum that afternoon. I often remained in
+the library long after five, the usual closing hour. So I dismissed the
+attendants who locked up everything with the exception of a small door in
+the stone gallery always used on such occasions. I waited till six, and
+as I went out opened near this door a sash window, having removed the
+iron shutters. After dinner I went round to Monteagle's rooms. He and
+Girdelstone were sitting in a despondent way on each side of the fire,
+sipping weak coffee and nibbling Albert biscuits. They were startled at
+my entrance.
+
+'What _have_ you decided?' asked Girdelstone, hoarsely.
+
+'All is arranged. Monteagle and I set fire to the museum to-night,' I
+said, quietly.
+
+Girdelstone buried his face in his hands and began to sob.
+
+'Anything but that--anything but that!' he cried. And Monteagle turned a
+little pale. At first they protested, but I overcame their scruples by
+saying they might get out of the mess how they liked. I advised
+Girdelstone to go to bed and plead illness for the next few days, for he
+really wanted rest. At eleven o'clock that night, Monteagle and myself
+crossed the meadows at the back of our college, and by a circuitous route
+reached the grounds surrounding the museum, which were planted with
+rhododendrons and other shrubs. The pouring rain was, unfortunately, not
+favourable for our enterprise. I brought however a small box of
+combustibles from the University Laboratories, and a dark lantern. When
+we climbed over the low wall not far from the stone gallery, I saw, to my
+horror, a light emerging from the Groschen Hall. Monteagle, who is
+fearfully superstitious, began chattering his teeth. When we reached the
+small door I saw it was open. A thief had evidently forestalled us.
+Monteagle suggested going back, and leaving the thief to make off with
+the MS.; but I would not hear of such a proposal.
+
+The door opening to the Groschen Hall at the end of the gallery was open,
+and beyond, a man, whom I at once recognised as the little Lutheran, was
+busily engaged in picking the lock of the case where were deposited the
+Book of Jasher and Aulus Gellius. Telling Monteagle to guard the door, I
+approached very softly, keeping behind the plaster casts. I was within a
+yard of him before he heard my boots creak. Then he turned round, and I
+found myself face to face with Dr. Groschen. I have never seen such a
+look of terror on any one's face.
+
+'You scoundrel!' I cried, collecting myself, 'drop those things at once!'
+and I made for him with my fist. He dodged me. I ran after him; but he
+threaded his way like a rat through the statues and cases of antiquities,
+and bolted down the passage out of the door, where he upset Monteagle and
+the lantern, and disappeared in the darkness and rain. I then returned
+to the scene of his labours. Monteagle was too frightened, owing to the
+rather ghostly appearance of the museum by the light of a feeble
+oil-lamp. In a small cupboard there was some dry sacking I had deposited
+there for the purpose some days before. This I ignited, along with
+certain native curiosities of straw and skin, wicker-work, and other
+ethnographical treasures.
+
+Some new unpacked cases left by the attendants the previous afternoon
+materially assisted the conflagration.
+
+It was an impressive scene, to witness the flames playing round the
+pedestals of the torsos, statues, and cases. I only waited for a few
+moments to make sure that my work was complete. I shut the iron door
+between the gallery and the hall to avoid the possibility of the fire
+spreading to the rest of the building. Then I seized Monteagle by the
+arm and hurried him through the rhododendrons, over the wall, into the
+meadows. I turned back once, and just caught a glimpse of red flame
+bursting through the windows. Having seen Monteagle half-way back to the
+college, I returned to see if any alarm was given. Already a small crowd
+was collecting. A fire-engine arrived, and a local pump was almost set
+going. I returned to college, where I found the porter standing in the
+gateway.
+
+'The FitzTaylor is burning,' he said. 'I have been looking out for you,
+sir.'
+
+* * * * *
+
+There is nothing more to tell. To this day no one suspects that the fire
+was the work of an incendiary. The Professor has returned from the East,
+but lives in great retirement. His friends say he has never quite
+recovered the shock occasioned by the loss of his collection. The rest
+of the museum was uninjured.
+
+The death of Sarpedon, Patriarch of Hermaphroditopolis, at Naples, was a
+sudden and melancholy catastrophe, which people think affected Dr.
+Groschen more than the fire. Strangely enough, he had just been dining
+with the Doctor the evening before. They met at Naples purposely to bury
+the hatchet. Sometimes I ask myself if I did right in setting fire to
+the museum. You see, it was for the sake of others, not myself, and
+Monteagle was an old friend.
+
+
+
+
+THE HOOTAWA VANDYCK.
+
+
+'My own experience,' said an expert to a group of mostly middle-aged men,
+who spent their whole life in investigating spiritual phenomena, 'is a
+peculiar one.
+
+'It was in the early autumn of 1900. I was at Rome, where I went to
+investigate the relative artistic affinity between Pietro Cavallini and
+Giotto (whose position, I think, will have to be adjusted). There were
+as yet only a few visitors at the Hotel Russie, chiefly maiden ladies and
+casual tourists, besides a certain Scotch family and myself. Colonel
+Brodie, formerly of the 69th Highlanders, was a retired officer of that
+rather peppery type which always seems to belong to the stage rather than
+real life, though you meet so many examples on the Continent. He
+possessed an extraordinary topographical knowledge of modern Rome, the
+tramway system, and the hours at which churches and galleries were open.
+He would waylay you in the entrance-hall and inquire severely if you had
+been to the Catacombs. In the case of an affirmative answer he would
+describe an unvisited tomb or ruin, far better worth seeing; in that of a
+negative, he would smile, tell you the shortest and cheapest route, and
+the amount which should be tendered to the Trappist Father. Later on in
+the evening, over coffee, if he was pleased with you, he would mention in
+a very impressive manner, "I am, as you probably know, Colonel Brodie, of
+Hootawa." His wife, beside whom I sat at table d'hote, retained traces
+of former beauty. She was thin, and still tight-laced; was somewhat acid
+in manner; censorious concerning the other visitors; singularly devoted
+to her tedious husband, and fretfully attached to the beautiful daughter,
+for whose pleasure and education they were visiting Rome. I gathered
+that they were fairly well-to-do.
+
+It was Mrs. Brodie who first broke the ice by asking if I was interested
+in pictures. Miss Brodie, who sat between her parents, turned very red,
+and said, "Oh, mamma, you are talking to one of the greatest experts in
+Europe!" I was surprised and somewhat gratified by her knowledge
+(indeed, it chilled me some days later when she confessed to having
+learnt the information only that day by overhearing an argument between
+myself and a friend at the Colonna Gallery on Stefano de Zevio, and the
+indebtedness of Northern Italian art to Teutonic influences).
+
+Mrs. Brodie took the intelligence quite calmly, and merely inspected me
+through her lorgnettes as if I were an object in a museum.
+
+"Ah, you must talk to Flora about pictures. I have no doubt that she
+will tell you a good deal that even _you_ do not know. We have some very
+interesting pictures up in Scotland. My husband is Colonel Brodie of
+Hootawa (no relation to the Brodie of Brodie). His grandfather was a
+great collector, and originally we possessed seven Raphaels."
+
+"Indeed," I replied, eagerly, "might I ask the names of the pictures? I
+should know them at once."
+
+"I have never seen them," said Mrs. Brodie; "they were not left to my
+husband, who quarrelled with his father. Fortunately none of us cared
+for Raphaels; but the most valuable pictures, including a Vandyck, were
+entailed. Flora is particularly attached to Vandyck. He is always so
+romantic, I think."
+
+Flora, embarrassed by her mother's eulogy of family heirlooms, leaned
+across, as if to address me, and said, "Oh, mamma, I don't think they
+really were Raphaels; they were probably only by pupils--Giulio Romano,
+Perino del Vaga, or Luca Penni."
+
+"As you never saw them, my dear," said Mrs. Brodie, severely, "I don't
+think you can possibly tell. Your grandfather" (she glared at me) "was
+considered _the_ greatest expert in Europe, and described them in his
+will as Raphaels. It would be impious to suggest that they are by any
+one else. There were _two_ Holy Families. One of them was given to your
+grandfather by the King of Holland in recognition of his services; and a
+third was purchased direct from the Queen of Naples. But your father is
+getting impatient for his cigar."
+
+They rose, and bowed sweetly. I joined them in the glass winter-garden a
+few minutes later.
+
+"Have you been to the Pincio? But I forgot, of course you know Rome. I
+do love the Pincio," sighed Mrs. Brodie over some needlework, and then,
+as an afterthought, "Do you know the two things that have impressed me
+most since I came here?"
+
+"I could not dare to guess any more than I dare tell you what has
+impressed me most," I replied, gazing softly at Flora.
+
+"The two things which have really and truly impressed me most," continued
+Mrs. Brodie, "more than anything else, more than the Pantheon, or the
+Forum, are--St. Peter's and the Colosseum." She almost looked young
+again.
+
+The next day we visited the Borghese; and I was able to explain to Flora
+why the circular "Madonna and Angels" was not by Botticelli. And,
+indeed, there was hardly a picture in Rome I was unable to reattribute to
+its rightful owner. In the apt Flora I found a receptive pupil. She
+even grew suspicious about the great Velasquez at the Doria, in which she
+fancied, with all the enthusiasm of youth, that she detected the handling
+of Mazo. I soon found that it was better for her training to discourage
+her from looking at pictures at all--we confined ourselves to
+photographs. In a photograph you are not disturbed by colour, or by
+impasto. You are able to study the morphic values in a picture, by which
+means you arrive at the attribution without any disturbing aesthetic
+considerations.
+
+One afternoon, returning from some church ceremony, Flora said to me,
+"Oh, Aleister" (we were already engaged secretly), "papa is going to ask
+you next winter to stay at Hootawa. Before I forget, I want to warn you
+never to criticise the pictures. They are mostly of the Dutch and
+English School, and I dare say you will find a great many of the names
+wrong; but, you know, papa is irritable, and it would offend him if you
+said that the 'Terborch' was really by Pieter de Hooghe. You can easily
+avoid saying anything--and then, you will really admire the Vandyck."
+
+"Darling Flora, of course I promise. By the way, you never speak of your
+family ghost, although Mrs. Brodie always refers to it as if I knew all
+about it; and the Colonel has often told me of Sir Rupert's military
+achievements."
+
+"Oh, Aleister, I don't know whether you believe in ghosts: it _is_ very
+extraordinary. Whenever any disaster, or any good fortune happens to our
+family, Sir Rupert Brodie's figure, just as he appears in the Vandyck, is
+seen walking in the Long Gallery; and every night he appears at twelve
+o'clock in the green spare bedroom; but only guests and servants ever see
+him there. We have a saying at Hootawa, that servants will not stay
+unless they are able to see Sir Rupert the first month after their
+arrival. Only members of the family are able to see him in the Long
+Gallery, and, of course, we never know whether he betokens good or ill
+luck. The last time he appeared there, papa was so nervous that he sold
+out of Consols, which went down an eighth the day after. We were all
+very much relieved. But he invested the money in some concern called
+"The Imperial Federation Stylograph Pen Company," and lost most of it; so
+it was not of much use."
+
+"Tell me, darling, of your father's other investments," I asked
+anxiously.
+
+"Oh, you must ask papa about them, I don't understand business; but I
+want to tell you about Sir Rupert. The Society for Psychical Research
+sent down a Committee to inquire into the credibility of the ghost, and
+recorded four authentic apparitions in the spare bedroom; and on family
+evidence accepted at least three events in the Long Gallery. It was just
+after their report was issued that papa was invited to lease the house to
+some Americans for the summer. He always gets a good price for it now,
+simply on account of the ghost. I always think that rather horrid. I
+don't believe poor Sir Rupert would like it."
+
+"Perhaps he doesn't know," I suggested.
+
+"Of course, you don't believe in him," she said in rather an offended
+way.
+
+"My darling, of course I do; I have always believed in ghosts. Most of
+the pictures in the world, as I am always saying, were painted by
+_ghosts_."
+
+"Oh, no, Aleister, you're laughing at me; but when you see Sir Rupert, as
+you will, in the spare bedroom, you will believe too."
+
+At the end of January, I became Flora's accepted fiance.
+
+In February, I moved with the Brodies to Florence, where I was able to
+introduce them to all my kind and hospitable friends,--the Berensons, Mr.
+Charles Loeser, Mr. Herbert Horne, and Mr. Hobart Cust. Flora was in
+every way a great success, and commenced a little book on Nera di Bicci
+for Bell's Great Painters Series. She was invited to contribute to the
+_Burlington Magazine_. It was quite a primavera. Our marriage was
+arranged for the following February. The Brodies were to return to
+Hootawa after it was vacated by the American summer tenants. I was to
+join them for Christmas on my return from America, where I was compelled
+to go in order to settle my affairs. My father, Lorenzo Q. Sweat, of
+Chicago, evinced great pleasure at my approaching union with an old
+Scotch family; he promised me a handsome allowance considering his recent
+losses in the meat packing swindle--I mean trade. I was able to dissuade
+him from coming to Europe for the ceremony. After delivering two
+successful lectures on Pietro Cavallini in the early fall at mothers'
+soirees, I sailed for Liverpool.
+
+There was deep snow on the ground when I arrived at Hootawa in the early
+afternoon of a cold December day. The Colonel met me at the station in
+the uniform of the 69th, attended by two gillies holding torches.
+
+"There will just be enough light to glance at the pictures before tea,"
+he said gaily, and in three-quarters of an hour I was embracing Flora and
+saluting her mother, who were in the hall to greet me. For the most part
+Hootawa was a typical old Scotch castle, with extinguisher turrets; an
+incongruous Jacobean addition rather enhancing its picturesque ensemble.
+
+"You'll see better pictures here than anything in Rome," remarked the
+Colonel; but Flora giggled rather nervously.
+
+In the smoking-room and library, I inspected, with assumed interest,
+works by the little masters of Holland, and some more admirable examples
+of the English Eighteenth Century School. Faithful to my promise, I
+pronounced every one of them to be little gems, unsurpassed by anything
+in the private collections of America or Europe. We passed into the
+drawing-room and parlour with the same success. In the latter apartment
+the Colonel, grasping my arm, said impressively: "Now you will see our
+great treasure, the Brodie Vandyck, of which Flora has so often told you.
+I have never lent it for exhibition, for, as you know, we are rather
+superstitious about it. Sir Joshua Reynolds, in 1780, offered to paint
+the portraits of the whole family in exchange for the picture. Dr.
+Waagen describes it in his well-known work. Dr. Bode came from Berlin on
+purpose to see it some years ago, when he left a certificate (which was
+scarcely necessary) of its undoubted authenticity. I was so touched by
+his genuine admiration, that I presented him with a small Dutch picture
+which he admired in the smoking-room, and thought not unworthy of placing
+in the Berlin Gallery. I expect you know Dr. Bode."
+
+"Not personally," I said, as we stepped into the Long Gallery.
+
+It was a delightful panelled room, with oak-beamed ceiling. Between the
+mullioned windows were old Venetian mirrors and seventeenth-century
+chairs. At the end, concealed by a rich crimson brocade, hung the
+Vandyck, the only picture on the walls.
+
+It was the Colonel himself who drew aside the curtain which veiled
+discreetly the famous picture of Sir Rupert Brodie at the age of thirty-
+two, in the beautiful costume of the period. The face was unusually
+pallid; it was just the sort of portrait you would expect to walk out of
+its frame.
+
+"You have never seen a finer Vandyck, I am sure," said Mrs. Brodie,
+anxiously. I examined the work with great care, employing a powerful
+pocket-glass. There was an awkward pause for about five minutes.
+
+"Well, sir," said the Colonel, sternly, "have you nothing to say?"
+
+"It is a very interesting and excellent work, though _not_ by Vandyck; it
+is by Jamieson, his Scotch pupil; the morphic forms . . ."--but I got no
+further. There was a loud clap of thunder, and Flora fainted away. I
+was hastening to her side when her father's powerful arm seized my
+collar. He ran me down the gallery and out by an egress which led into
+the entrance hall, where some menial opened the massive door. I felt one
+stinging blow on my face; then, bleeding and helpless, I was kicked down
+the steps into the snow from which I was picked up, half stunned, by one
+of the gillies.
+
+"Eh, mon, hae ye seen the bogles at Hootawa?" he observed.
+
+"It will be very civil of you if you will conduct me to the depot, or the
+nearest caravanserai," I replied.
+
+I never saw Flora again.'
+
+* * * * *
+
+'But what has happened about the ghost, Mr. Sweat? You never told us
+anything about it. Did you ever see it?' asked one of the listeners in a
+disappointed tone.
+
+'Oh, I forgot; no, that was rather tragic. _Sir Rupert Brodie never
+appeared again_, not even in the spare bedroom; he seemed offended.
+Eventually his portrait was sent up to London, where Mr. Lionel Cust
+pointed out that it could not have been painted until after Vandyck's
+death, at which time Sir Rupert was only ten years old. Indeed, there
+was some uncertainty whether the picture represented Sir Rupert at all.
+Mr. Bowyer Nichols found fault with the costume, which belonged to an
+earlier date prior to Sir Rupert's birth. Colonel Brodie never recovered
+from the shock. He resides chiefly at Harrogate. Gradually the servants
+all gave notice, and Hootawa ceased to attract Americans. Poor Flora! I
+ought to have remembered my promise; but the habit was too strong in me.
+Sir Oliver Lodge, I believe, has an explanation for the non-appearance of
+the phantom after the events I have described. He regards it as a good
+instance of _bypsychic duality_--the fortuitous phenomenon by which
+spirits are often uncertain as to whom they really represent. But I am
+only an art critic, not a physicist.'
+
+_To_ HERBERT HORNE, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+THE ELEVENTH MUSE.
+
+
+In the closing years of the last century I held the position of a
+publisher's hack. Having failed in everything except sculpture, I became
+publisher's reader and adviser. It was the age of the 'dicky dongs,'
+and, of course, I advised chiefly the publication of deciduous
+literature, or books which dealt with the history of decay. The
+business, unfortunately, closed before my plans were materialised; but
+there was a really brilliant series of works prepared for an ungrateful
+public. A cheap and abridged edition of Gibbon was to have heralded the
+'Ruined Home' Library, as we only dealt with the decline and fall of
+things, and eschewed Motley in both senses of the word. 'Bad Taste in
+All Ages' (twelve volumes edited by myself) would have rivalled some of
+Mr. Sidney Lee's monumental undertakings. It was a memory of these
+unfulfilled designs which has turned my thoughts to an old notebook--the
+skeleton of what was destined never to be a book in being.
+
+I have often wondered why no one has ever tried to form an anthology of
+bad poetry. It would, of course, be easy enough to get together a dreary
+little volume of unreadable and unsaleable song. There are, however,
+certain stanzas so exquisite in their unconscious absurdity that an
+inverted immortality may be claimed for them. It is essential that their
+authors should have been serious, because parody and light verse have
+been carried to such a state of perfection that a tenth muse has been
+created--the muse of Mr. Owen Seaman and the late St. John Hankin for
+example. When the Anakim, men of old, which were men of renown--Shelley,
+Keats, or Tennyson--become playful, I confess to a feeling of
+nervousness: the unpleasant, hot sensation you experience when a
+distinguished man makes a fool of himself. Rossetti--I suppose from his
+Italian origin--was able to assume motley without loss of dignity, and
+that wounded Titan, the late W. E. Henley, was another exception. Both
+he and Rossetti had the faculty of being foolish, or obscene, without
+impairing the high seriousness of their superb poetic gifts.
+
+But I refer to more serious folly--that of the disciples of Silas Wegg.
+Some friends of mine in the country employed a ladies'-maid with literary
+proclivities. She was never known to smile; the other servants thought
+her stuck up; she was a great reader of novels, poetry, and popular books
+on astronomy. One day she gave notice, departed at the end of a month,
+left no address, and never applied for a character. Beneath the mattress
+of her bed was found a manuscript of poems. One of these, addressed to
+our satellite, is based on the scientific fact (of which I was not aware
+until I read her poem) that we see only one side of the moon. The ode
+contains this ingenious stanza:--
+
+ O beautiful moon!
+ When I gaze on thy face
+ Careering among the boundaries of space,
+ The thought has often come to my mind
+ If I ever shall see thy glorious behind.
+
+It was my pleasure to communicate this verse to our greatest living
+conversationalist, a point I mention because it may, in consequence, be
+already known to those who, like myself, enjoy the privileges of his
+inimitable talk. I possess the original manuscript of the poem, and can
+supply copies of the remainder to the curious.
+
+In a magazine managed by the physician of a well-known lunatic asylum I
+found many inspiring examples. The patients are permitted to contribute:
+they discuss art and literature, subject of course to a stringent
+editorial discretion. As you might suppose, poetry occupies a good deal
+of space. It was from that source of clouded English I culled the
+following:--
+
+ His hair is red and blue and white,
+ His face is almost tan,
+ His brow is wet with blood and sweat,
+ He steals from where he can:
+ And looks the whole world in the face,
+ A drunkard and a man.
+
+I think we have here a Henley manque. In robustious assertion you will
+not find anything to equal it in the Hospital Rhymes of that author. I
+was so much struck by the poem that I obtained permission to correspond
+with the poet. I discovered that another Sappho might have adorned our
+literature; that a mute inglorious Elizabeth Barrett was kept silent in
+Darien--for the asylum was in the immediate vicinity of the Peak in
+Derbyshire. Of the correspondence which ensued I venture to quote only
+one sentence:
+
+ 'I was brought up to love beauty; my home was more than cultured; it
+ was refined; we took in the _Art Journal_ regularly.'
+
+Of all modern artists, I suppose that Sir Edward Burne-Jones has inspired
+more poetry than any other. A whole school of Oxford poets emerged from
+his fascinating palette, and he is the subject of perhaps the most
+exquisite of all the _Poems and Ballads_--the '_Dedication_'--which forms
+the colophon to that revel of rhymes. I sometimes think that is why his
+art is out of fashion with modern painters, who may inspire dealers, but
+would never inspire poets. For who could write a sonnet on some
+uncompromising pieces of realism by Mr. Rothenstein, Mr. John, or Mr.
+Orpen? Theirs is an art which speaks for itself. But Sir Edward Burne-
+Jones seems to have dazzled the undergrowth of Parnassus no less than the
+higher slopes. In a long and serious epic called 'The Pageant of Life,'
+dealing with every conceivable subject, I found:--
+
+ With some the mention of Burne-Jones
+ Elicits merely howls and groans;
+ But those who know each inch of art
+ Believe that he can bear his part.
+
+I don't remember what he could bear. Perhaps it referred to his election
+at the Royal Academy. Then, again, in a 'Vision' of the next world, a
+poet described how--
+
+ Byron, Burne-Jones, and Beethoven,
+ Charlotte Bronte and Chopin are there.
+
+I wonder if this has escaped the eagle eye of Mr. Clement Shorter. Though
+perhaps the most delightful nonsense, for which, I fear, this great
+painter is partly responsible, may be found in a recent poem addressed to
+the memory of my old friend, Simeon Solomon:--
+
+ More of Rossetti? Yes:
+ You follow'd than Burne-Jones,
+ Your depth of colour his
+ than that of monochromes!
+ Yes; amber lilies poured, I say,
+ A joy for thee, than poet's bay.
+
+ But while true art refines
+ and often stimulates,
+ ART does, at times, I say,
+ sit grief within our gates!
+ Art causes men to weep at times--
+ If you may heed these falt'ring rhymes.
+
+A small volume of lyrics once sent to me for review afforded another
+flower for my garland:--
+
+ Where in the spring-time leaves are wet,
+ Oh, lay my love beneath the shades,
+ Where men remember to forget,
+ And are forgot in Hades.
+
+But I have given enough examples for what would form Part I. of the
+English anthology. Part II. would consist of really bad verses from
+really great poetry.
+
+ Auspicious Reverence, hush all meaner song,
+
+is one of the most pompously stupid lines in English poetry. Arnold did
+not hesitate to quote instances from Shakespeare:--
+
+ Till that Bellona's bridegroom, lapp'd in proof,
+ Confronted him with self-comparisons.
+
+You would have to sacrifice Browning, because it might fairly be
+concluded--well, anything might be concluded about Browning. Byron is,
+of course, a mine. Arthur Hugh Clough is, perhaps, the 'flawless
+numskull,' as, I think, Swinburne calls him. Tennyson surpassed
+
+ A Mr. Wilkinson, a clergyman,
+
+in many of his serious poems.
+
+ To travellers indeed the sea
+ Must always interesting be
+
+I have heard ascribed to Wordsworth, but wrongly, I believe. I should,
+of course, exclude from the collection living writers; only the select
+dead would be requisitioned. They cannot retort. And the entertaining
+volume would illustrate that curious artistic law--the survival of the
+unfittest, of which we are only dimly beginning to realise the
+significance. It is like the immortality of the invalid, now recognised
+by all men of science. You see it manifested in the plethora of memoirs.
+All new books not novels are about great dead men by unimportant little
+living ones. When I am asked, as I have been, to write recollections of
+certain 'people of importance,' as Dante says, I feel the force of that
+law very keenly.
+
+_To_ FREDERICK STANLEY SMITH, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+SWINBLAKE: A PROPHETIC BOOK, WITH HOME ZARATHRUSTS.
+
+
+Every student of Blake has read, or must read, Mr. Swinburne's
+extraordinary essay, _William Blake: a critical study_, of which a new
+edition was recently published. It would be idle at this time of day to
+criticise. Much has been discovered, and more is likely to be
+discovered, about Blake since 1866. The interest of the book, for us, is
+chiefly reflex. _And does not the great mouth laugh at a gift_, if
+scheduled in an examination paper with the irritating question, 'From
+what author does this quotation come?' would probably elicit the reply,
+'Swinburne.' Yet it occurs in one of Blake's prophetic books.
+
+How fascinated Blake would have been with Mr. Swinburne if by some
+exquisite accident he had lived _after_ him. We should have had, I
+fancy, another Prophetic Book; something of this kind:
+
+ Swinburne roars and shakes the world's literature--
+ The English Press, and a good many contemporaries--
+ Tennyson palls, Browning is found--
+ Only a brownie--
+ The mountains divide, the Press is unanimous--
+ Aylwin is born--
+ On a perilous path, on the cliff of immortality--
+ I met Theodormon--
+ He seemed sad: I said, 'Why are you sad--
+ Are you writing the long-promised life--
+ Of Dante Gabriel Rossetti?'--
+ He sighed and said, 'No, not that--
+ Not that, my child--
+ I consigned the task to William Michael--
+ Pre-Raphaelite memoirs are cheap to-day--
+ You can have them for a sextet or an octave.'--
+ I brightened and said, 'Then you are writing a sonnet?'
+ He shook his head and said it was symbolical--
+ For six and eightpence!--
+ A golden rule: Never lend only George Borrow--
+
+A new century had begun, and I asked Theodormon what he was doing on that
+path and where Mr. Swinburne was. Beneath us yawned the gulf of
+oblivion.
+
+'Be careful, young man, not to tumble over; are you a poet or a
+biographer?'
+
+I explained that I was merely a tourist. He gave a sigh of relief: 'I
+have an appointment here with my only disciple, Mr. Howlglass; if you are
+not careful he may write an appreciation of you.'
+
+'My dear Theodormon, if you will show me how to reach Mr. Swinburne I
+will help you.'
+
+'I swear by the most sacred of all oaths, by Aylwin, you shall see
+Swinburne.'
+
+Just then we saw a young man coming along the path with a Kodak and a
+pink evening paper. He seemed pleased to see me, and said, 'May I
+appreciate you?'
+
+I gave the young man a push and he fell right over the cliff. Theodormon
+threw down after him a heavy-looking book which, alighting on his skull,
+smashed it. 'My preserver,' he cried, 'you shall see what you like, you
+shall do what you like, except write my biography. Swinburne is close at
+hand, though he occasionally wanders. His permanent address is the
+Peaks, Parnassus. Perhaps you would like to pay some other calls as
+well.'
+
+I assented.
+
+We came to a printing-house and found William Morris reverting to type
+and transmitting art to the middle classes.
+
+'The great Tragedy of Topsy's life,' said Theodormon, 'is that he
+converted the middle classes to art and socialism, but he never touched
+the unbending Tories of the proletariat or the smart set. You would have
+thought, on homoeopathic principles, that cretonne would appeal to
+cretins.'
+
+'Vale, vale,' cried Charles Ricketts from the interior.
+
+I was rather vexed, as I wanted to ask Ricketts his opinions about
+various things and people and to see his wonderful collection. Shannon,
+however, presented me with a lithograph and a copy of 'Memorable
+Fancies,' by C. R.
+
+ How sweet I roamed from school to school,
+ But I attached myself to none;
+ I sat upon my ancient Dial
+ And watched the other artists' fun.
+
+ Will Rothenstein can guard the faith,
+ Safe for the Academic fold;
+ 'Twas very wise of William Strang,
+ What need have I of Chantrey's gold?
+
+ Let the old masters be my share,
+ And let them fall on B. B.'s corn;
+ Let the Uffizi take to Steer--
+ What do I care for Herbert Horne
+
+ Or the stately Holmes of England,
+ Whose glories never fade;
+ The Constable of Burlington,
+ Who holds the Oxford Slade.
+
+ It's Titian here and Titian there,
+ And come to have a look;
+ But 'thanks of course Giorgione,'
+ With Mr. Herbert Cook.
+
+ For MacColl is an intellectual thing,
+ And Hugh P. Lane keeps Dublin awake,
+ And Fry to New York has taken wing,
+ And Charles Holroyd has got the cake.
+
+After turning round a rather sharp corner I began to ask Theodormon if
+John Addington Symonds was anywhere to be found. He smiled, and said: 'I
+know why you are asking. Of course he _is_ here, but we don't see much
+of him. He published, at the Kelmscott, the other day, "An Ode to a
+Grecian Urning." The proceeds of the sale went to the Arts and Krafts
+Ebbing Guild, but the issue of "Aretino's Bosom, and other Poems," has
+been postponed.'
+
+We now reached a graceful Renaissance building covered with blossoms; on
+each side of the door were two blue-breeched gondoliers smoking calamus.
+Theodormon hurried on, whispering: '_That_ is where he lives. If you
+want to see Swinburne you had better make haste, as it is getting late,
+and I want you to inspect the Castalian spring.'
+
+The walking became very rough just here; it was really climbing. Suddenly
+I became aware of dense smoke emerging with a rumbling sound from an
+overhanging rock.
+
+'I had no idea Parnassus was volcanic now,' I remarked.
+
+'No more had we,' said Theodormon; 'it is quite a recent eruption due to
+the Celtic movement. The rock you see, however, is not a real rock, but
+a sham rock. Mr. George Moore has been turned out of the cave, and is
+still hovering about the entrance.'
+
+Looming through the smoke, which hung like a veil of white muslin between
+us, I was able to trace the silhouette of that engaging countenance which
+Edouard Manet and others have immortalised. 'Go away,' he said: 'I do
+not want to speak to you.' 'Come, come, Mr. Moore,' I rejoined, 'will
+you not grant a few words to a really warm admirer?'--but he had faded
+away. Then a large hand came out of the cavern and handed me a piece of
+paper, and a deep voice with a slight brogue said: 'If you see mi darlin'
+Gosse give this to him.' The paper contained these verses:--
+
+ Georgey Morgie, kidden and sly,
+ Kissed the girls and made them cry;
+ _What_ the girls came out to say
+ George never heard, for he ran away.
+
+ W. B. Y
+
+We skirted the edge of a thick wood. A finger-post pointed to the
+Castalian spring, and a notice-board indicated _Trespassers will be
+prosecuted_. _The lease to be disposed of. Apply to G. K. Chesterton_.
+
+Soon we came to an open space in which was situated a large, rather
+dilapidated marble tank. I noticed that the water did not reach further
+than the bathers' stomachs. Theodormon anticipated my surprise. 'Yes,
+we have had to depress the level of the water during the last few years
+out of compliment to some of the bathers, and there have been a good many
+bathing fatalities of a very depressing description.'
+
+'You don't mean to say,' I replied, 'Richard le Gallienne?'
+
+'Hush! hush! he was rescued.'
+
+'Stephen Phillips?' I asked, anxiously.
+
+'Well, he couldn't swim, of course, but he floated; you see he had the
+Sidney Colvin lifebelt on, and that is always a great assistance.'
+
+'Not,' I almost shrieked, 'my favourite poet, the author of "Lord 'a
+Muzzy don't you fret. Missed we De Wet. Missed we De Wet"?'
+
+Theodormon became very grave. 'We do not know any of their names,' he
+said. 'I will show you, presently, the Morgue. Perhaps you will be able
+to identify some of your friends. The Coroner has refused to open an
+inquest until Mr. John Lane can attend to give his evidence.'
+
+I saw the Poet Laureate trying very hard to swim on his back. Another
+poet was sitting down on the marble floor so that the water might at
+least come up to his neck. Gazing disconsolately into the pellucid
+shallows I saw the revered and much-loved figures of Mr. Andrew Lang, Mr.
+Austin Dobson, and Mr. Edmund Gosse. 'Going for a dip?' said Theodormon.
+'Thanks, we don't care about paddling,' Mr. Lang retorted.
+
+'I hope it is not _always_ so shallow,' I said to my guide.
+
+'Oh, no; we have a new water-supply, but as the spring is in the nature
+of a public place, we won't turn on the fresh water until people have
+learnt to appreciate what is good. That handsome little marble structure
+which you see at the end of the garden is really the _new_ Castalian
+Spring. At all events, that is where all the miracles take place. The
+old bath is terribly out of repair, in spite of plumbing.'
+
+We then inspected a very neat little apartment mosaiced in gold. Round
+the walls were attractive drinking-fountains, and on each was written the
+name of the new water--I mean the new poet. Some of them I recognised:
+Laurence Binyon, A. E. Housman, Sturge Moore, Santayana, Arthur Symons,
+Herbert Trench, Henry Simpson, Laurence Housman, F. W. Tancred, Arthur
+Lyon Raile, William Watson, Hugh Austin.
+
+'You see we have the very latest,' said Theodormon, 'provided it is
+always the best. I am sorry to say that some of the taps don't give a
+constant supply, but that is because the machinery wants oiling. Try
+some Binyon,' said my guide, filling a gold cup on which was wrought by
+some cunning craftsman the death of Adam and the martyrdom of the Blessed
+Christina. I found it excellent and refreshing, and observed that it was
+cheering to come across the excellence of sincerity and strength at a
+comparatively new source . . .
+
+Mr. Swinburne was seated in an arbour of roses, clothed in a gold
+dalmatic, a birthday gift from his British Peers. Their names were
+embroidered in pearls on the border. I asked permission to read my
+address:--
+
+ There beats no heart by Cam or Isis
+ (Where tides of poets ebb and flow),
+ But guards Dolores as a crisis
+ Of long ago.
+
+ A crisis bringing fire and wonder,
+ A gift of some dim Eastern Mage,
+ A firework still smouldering under
+ The feet of middle age.
+
+ For you could love and hate and tell us
+ Of almost everything,
+ You made our older poets jealous,
+ For you alone could sing.
+
+ In truth it was your splendid praises
+ Which made us wake
+ To glories hidden in the phrases
+ Of William Blake.
+
+ No boy who sows his metric salads
+ His tamer oats,
+ But always steals from Swinburne's ballads
+ The stronger notes.
+
+'Do you play golf?' said Mr. Swinburne, handing me two little spheres
+such as are used in the royal game. And I heard no more; for I received
+a blow--whether delivered by Mr. Swinburne or the ungrateful Theodormon I
+do not know, but I found myself falling down the gulf of oblivion, and
+suddenly, with a dull thud, I landed on the remains of Howlglass. The
+softness of his head had really preserved me from what might have been a
+severe shock, because the distance from Parnassus to Fleet Street, as you
+know, is considerable, and the escalade might have been more serious. I
+reached my rooms in Half Moon Street, however, having seen only one star,
+with just a faint nostalgia for the realms into which for one brief day I
+was privileged to peep.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+A MISLAID POET.
+
+
+In the closing years of my favourite last century, when poetry was more
+discussed than it is now (at all events as a marketable commodity), few
+verse-writers were overlooked. Bosola's observation about 'the neglected
+poets of your time' could not be quoted with any propriety. Mr. John
+Lane would make long and laborious journeys on the District Railway,
+armed _bag-a-pied_, in order to discover the new and unpublished. Now he
+has shot over all the remaining preserves; laurels and bays, so necessary
+for the breed 'of men and women over-wrought,' have withered in the
+London soot. There was one bright creature, however, who escaped his
+rifle; she was brought down by another sportsman, and thus missed some of
+the fame which might have attached to her had she been trussed and hung
+in the Bodley Head. Poaching in the library at Thelema, I came across
+her by accident. Her song is not without significance.
+
+In 1878 Georgiana Farrer mentioned on page 190 of her _Miscellaneous
+Poems_, 'I am old by sin entangled;' but this was probably a pious
+exaggeration. Only some one young and intellectually very vigorous could
+have penned her startling numbers. I suggest that she retained more of
+her youth than, from religious motives, she thought it proper to admit.
+In the 'eighties, when incense was burned in drawing-rooms, and people
+were talking about 'The Blessed Damozel,' she could write of Paradise:--
+
+ A home where Jesus Christ is King,
+ A home where e'en Archangels sing,
+ Where common wealth is shared by all,
+ And God Himself lights up the Hall.
+
+She was philosemite, and from the reference to Lord Beaconsfield we can
+easily date the following:--
+
+ You who doubt the truth of Scripture,
+ Pray tell me, then, who are the Jews?
+ Scattered in all lands and nations,
+ Pray why their evidence refuse?
+
+ It seems to me you must be blind;
+ Are they not daily gaining ground?
+ We find them now in every land,
+ And well-nigh ruling all around.
+
+ Their music is most sweet to hear;
+ Jews were Rossini and Mozart,
+ Mendelssohn, too, and Meyerbeer;
+ Grisi in song could charm the heart.
+
+ The funds their princes hold in hand;
+ Their merchants trade both near and far;
+ Ill-used and robbed they long have been,
+ Yet wealthy now they surely are.
+
+ In Germany who has great sway?
+ Prince Bismarck, most will answer me;
+ Our own Prime Minister retains
+ A name that shows his pedigree.
+
+ Who after this will dare to say
+ They nought in these strange people see;
+ Do they not prove the Scripture true,
+ And throw a light on history?
+
+The twenty-five years that have elapsed since the poem was written must
+have convinced those innocent persons who 'saw nought' in our Israelitish
+compatriots. I never heard before that Prince Bismarck or Mozart was of
+Jewish extraction!
+
+Mrs. Farrer was, of course, an evangelical, somewhat old-fashioned for so
+late a date; and fairly early in her volume she warns us of what we may
+expect. She is anxious to damp any undue optimism as to the lightness of
+her muse. When worldly, foolish people like Whistler and Pater were
+talking 'art for art's sake,' she could strike a decisive didactic blow:--
+
+ My voice like thunder may appear,
+ Yet oft-times I have shed a tear
+ Behind the peal, like rain in storm,
+ To moisten those I would reform.
+
+ Then pardon if my stormy mood,
+ Instead of blighting, does some good.
+ Sooner a thunder-clap, think me,
+ Than sunstroke sent in wrath on thee.
+
+With a splendid Calvinism, too rare at that time, she would not argue
+beyond a _certain_ limit; there was an edge, she realised, to every
+platform; an ounce of assertion is worth pounds of proof. Religious
+discussion after a time becomes barren:--
+
+ Then hundredfolds to sinners
+ Must be repaid in Hell.
+ If you think such men winners,
+ We disagree. Farewell.
+
+But to the person who _is_ right (and Mrs. Farrer was never in a moment's
+doubt, though her prosody is influenced sometimes by the sceptical
+Matthew Arnold) there is no mean reward:--
+
+ I sparkle resplendent,
+ A star in His crown,
+ And glitter for ever,
+ A gem of renown.
+
+From internal evidence we can gauge her social position, while her views
+of caste appear in these radical days a trifle _demode_. Her metaphors
+of sin are all derived from the life of paupers:--
+
+ Paupers through their sinful folly
+ Are workers of iniquity,
+ Living on Jehovah's bounty,
+ Wasting in abject poverty.
+
+ A pauper's funeral their end,
+ No angels waft their souls on high;
+ Rich they were thought on earth, perhaps,
+ Yet far from wealth accursed they lie.
+
+ Who are the rich? God's Word declares,
+ The men whose treasure is above--
+ Those humble working _gentlefolk_
+ Whose life flows on in deeds of love.
+
+ Despised in life I may remain,
+ Misunderstood by rich and poor;
+ An entrance yet I hope to gain
+ To wealthy plains on endless shore.
+
+ No paupers in that heavenly land,
+ The sons of God are rich indeed;
+ His daughters all His treasures share;
+ It will their highest hopes exceed.
+
+Those paupers who are 'saved' are rewarded by material comforts such as
+graced the earthly home of Georgiana herself, one of the 'humble working
+_gentlefolk_.' She enjoys her own fireside with an almost Pecksniffian
+relish, and she profoundly observes, as she sits beside her hearth:--
+
+ Like forest trees men rise and grow:
+ Good timber some will prove,
+ Others decayed as fuel piled,
+ Prepared are for that stove
+
+ That burns for ever, Tophet called,
+ Heated by jealous heat,
+ Adapted to destroy all chaff,
+ And leaves unscorched the wheat.
+
+Excellent Georgiana! She could not stand very much chaff of any kind, I
+suspect.
+
+The alarming progress of ritualism in the 'eighties disturbed her
+considerably, though it inspired some of her more weighty verses. They
+should be favourites with Dr. Clifford and Canon Hensley Henson:--
+
+ Some men in our days cover over
+ A body deformed with their sin:
+ A cross worked in various colours,
+ Forgetting that God looks within.
+
+ Alas! in our churches at present
+ Simplicity seems quite despised;
+ To represent things far above us
+ Are heathenish customs revived.
+
+ This evil is spreading among us,
+ And where will it end, can you tell?
+ Join not with the misled around us,
+ Take warning, my readers . . .
+
+The veneration of the Blessed Virgin goaded her into composition of
+stanzas unparalleled in the whole literature of Protestantism:--
+
+ My readers, can you nowhere see
+ A parallel to Israel's sin?
+ The House of God, at home, abroad:
+ _Idols are there_--that house within.
+
+ Who incense burns? are strange cakes made?
+ What woman's chapel, decked with gold,
+ Stands full of unchecked worshippers
+ Like those idolaters of old?
+
+ The Blessed Virgin--blest she is
+ That does not make her Heaven's Queen!
+ Yet some are taught to worship her;
+ What else does all this teaching mean?
+
+What she denied to the Mother of God she accorded (rather daringly, I
+opine) to one Harriet, whose death and future are recorded in the
+following lines:--
+
+ Declining like the setting sun
+ After a course divinely run,
+ I saw a maiden passing fair
+ Reposing on an easy chair.
+
+ A Bridegroom of celestial mien
+ Came forth and claimed her for His Queen;
+ One with His Father on His throne
+ She lives entirely His own.
+
+Harrietolatry, I thought, was confined to the members of the defunct
+Shelley Society. But every reader will feel the poignant truth of Mrs.
+Farrer's view of the Church of England--truer to-day than it could have
+been in the 'eighties:--
+
+ The Church of England--grand old ship--
+ Toss'd is on a troubled sea!
+ Her sails are rent, her decks are foul'd,
+ Mutiny on board must be.
+
+ The winds of discord howl around,
+ Wild disputers throw up foam,
+ From high to low she's beat about;
+ Frighten'd some who love her roam.
+
+I do not know if the last word is intended for a pun, but I scarcely
+think it is likely.
+
+I would like to reconstruct Mrs. Farrer's home, with its stiff Victorian
+chairs, its threaded antimacassars, its pictorial paper-weights, its wax
+flowers under glass shades, and the charming household porcelain from the
+Derby and Worcester furnaces. There must have been a sabbatic air of
+comfort about the dining-room which was soothing. I can see the
+engravings after Landseer: 'The Stag at Bay,' 'Dignity and Impudence'; or
+those after Martin: 'The Plains of Heaven,' and 'The Great Day of His
+Wrath'; and 'Blucher meeting Wellington,' after Maclise. I can see on
+each side of the mirror examples of the art of Daguerre, which have
+already begun to produce in us the same sentiment that we get from the
+early Tuscans; and on the mantelpiece a photograph of Harriet in a plush
+frame, the one touch of modernity in a room which was otherwise severely
+1845. Then, on a bookshelf which hung above the old tea-caddy and cut-
+glass sugar-bowl, Georgiana's library--'Line upon Line,' 'Precept upon
+Precept,' 'Jane the Cottager,' 'Pinnock's Scripture History,' and a few
+costly works bound in the style of the Albert Memorial. The
+drawing-room, just a trifle damp, must have contained Mr. Hunt's 'Light
+of the World,' which Mrs. Farrer never quite learned to love, though it
+was a present from a missionary, and rendered fire and artificial light
+unnecessary during the winter months. Would that Mrs. Farrer's home-life
+had come under the magic lens of Mr. Edmund Gosse, for it would now be
+classic, like the household of Sir Thomas More.
+
+Whatever its attractions, Mrs. Farrer was at times induced to go abroad,
+visiting, I imagine, only the Protestant cantons of Switzerland. She
+stayed, however, in Paris, which she apostrophises with Sibyllic
+candour:--
+
+ O city of pleasure, what did I see
+ When passing through or staying in thee.
+ Bright shone the sun above, blue was the sky,
+ Everywhere music heard, none seemed to sigh.
+ Beautiful carriages in Champs Elysee
+ Filled with fair maidens on cushions easy.
+ Such was the outer side; what was within?
+ Most I was often told revelled in sin.
+ Sad its fate since I left, sadder 'twill be
+ If they go on in sin as seen by me.
+ Let us hope, ere too late, warned by the past,
+ They may seek pleasures more likely to last,
+ Or, like to Babylon, it must decline,
+ And o'er its ruins its lovers repine.
+
+But London hardly fares much better, in spite of Mrs. Farrer's own
+residence, at Campden Hill, if I may hazard the locality:--
+
+ To the tomb they must go,
+ Rich and poor all in woe,
+ Strange motley throng.
+ Wealth in its splendour weeps,
+ Poverty silence keeps;
+ None last here long. . . .
+ So much for thee, London.
+
+Except in a spiritual sense, her existence was not an eventful one. It
+was, I think, the loss of some neighbour's child which suggested:--
+
+ Nellarina, forced exotic,
+ Born to bloom in region fair,
+ Thou wert to me a narcotic,
+ Hope I did thy lot to share.
+
+Any near personal sorrow she does not seem to have experienced, I am glad
+to say, else she might have regarded it as a grievance the consequences
+of which one dares not contemplate; you feel that _Some One_ would have
+heard of it in no measured terms. Certainty and content are, indeed, the
+dominating notes of her poetry rather than mere commonplace hope:--
+
+ I am bound for the land of Beulah,
+ There all the guests sing Hallelujah.
+ No longer time here let us squander,
+ But on the good things promised ponder.
+
+It would be futile to discuss the exact position on Parnassus of a lady
+whose throne was secured on a more celestial mountain, even more
+difficult of access. But I think we may claim for her an honourable
+place in that new Oxford school of poetry of which Professor Mackail
+officially knows little, and of which Dr. Warren (the President of
+Magdalen) is the distinguished living protagonist. With all her acrid
+Evangelicalism she was a good soul, for she was fond of animals and
+children, and kind to them both in her own way; so I am sure some of her
+dreams have been realised, even if there has reached her nostrils just a
+whiff of those tolerating purgatorial fires which, spelt differently, she
+believed to be _permanently_ prepared for the vast majority of her
+contemporaries.
+
+_To_ MRS. CAREW.
+
+
+
+
+GOING UP TOP.
+
+
+During the closing years of the last century certain critics contracted a
+rather depressing habit of numbering men of letters, especially poets, as
+though they were overcoats in a cloak-room, or boys competing in an
+examination set by themselves. 'It requires very little discernment,'
+wrote the late Churton Collins, A.D. 1891, 'to foresee that among the
+English poets of the present century the first place will _ultimately_ be
+assigned to Wordsworth, the second to Byron, and the third to Shelley.'
+Matthew Arnold, I fear, was the first to make these unsafe Zadkielian
+prognostications. He, if I remember correctly, gave Byron the first
+place and Wordsworth the second; but Swinburne, with his usual
+discernment, observed that English taste in that eventuality would be in
+the same state as it was at the end of the seventeenth century, which
+firmly believed that Fletcher and Jonson were the best of its poets.
+
+But when is Ultimately? Obviously not the present moment. Byron does
+not hold the rank awarded him by the distinguished critic in 1891. The
+cruel test of the auctioneer's hammer has recently shown that Keats and
+Shelley are regarded as far more important by those unprejudiced judges,
+the book-dealers. Wordsworth, of course, is still one of the poets'
+poets, and the _Spectator_, that Mrs. Micawber of literature, will, of
+course, never desert him; but I doubt very much whether he has yet
+reached the harbour of Ultimately. His repellent personality has blinded
+a good many of us to his exquisite qualities; on the Greek Kalends of
+criticism, however, may I be there to see. I shall certainly vote for
+him if I am one of the examiners--or one of the cloak-room attendants.
+
+It was against such kind of criticism that Whistler hurled his impatient
+epigram about pigeon-holes. And if it is absurd in regard to painting,
+how much more absurd is it in regard to the more various and less friable
+substances of literature. By the old ten-o'clock rule (I do not refer to
+Whistler's lecture), once observed in Board schools, no scripture could
+be taught after that hour. Once a teacher asked his class who was the
+wisest man. 'Solomon,' said a little boy. 'Right; go up top,' said the
+teacher. But there was a small pedant who, while never paying much
+attention to the lessons, and being usually at the bottom of the form in
+consequence, knew the regulations by heart. He interrupted with a shrill
+voice (for the clock had passed the hour), 'No, sir, please, sir; past
+ten o'clock, sir . . . Solon.' Thus it is, I fear, with critics of every
+generation, though they try very hard to make the time pass as slowly as
+possible.
+
+But if invidious distinctions between great men are inexact and tiresome,
+I opine that it is ungenerous and ignoble to declare that when a great
+man has just died, we really cannot judge of him or his work because we
+have been his contemporaries. The caution of obituary notices seems to
+me cowardly, and the reviews of books are cowardly too. We have become
+Laodiceans. We are even fearful of exposing imposture in current
+literature lest we get into hot water with a publisher.
+
+During a New Year week I was invited by Lord and Lady Lyonesse to a very
+diverting house-party. This peer, it will be remembered, is the well-
+known radical philanthropist who owed his title to a lifelong interest in
+the submerged tenth. Their house, Ivanhoe, is an exquisite gothic
+structure not unjustly regarded as the masterpiece of the late Sir
+Gilbert Scott: it overlooks the Ouse. Including our hosts we numbered
+forty persons, and the personnel, including valets, chauffeurs, and
+ladies'-maids brought by the guests, numbered sixty. In all, we were a
+hundred souls, assuming immortality for the chauffeurs and the five
+Scotch gardeners. On January 2nd somebody produced after dinner a copy
+of the _Petit Parisien_ relating the plebiscite for the greatest
+Frenchman of the nineteenth century; another guest capped him with the
+_Evening News_ list. The famous _Pall Mall Gazette_ Academy of Forty was
+recalled with indifferent accuracy. Conversation was flagging; our
+hostess looked relieved; very soon we were all playing a variation of
+that most charming game, _suck-pencil_.
+
+At first we decided to ignore the nineteenth century. The ten greatest
+living Englishmen were to be named by our votes. Bridge and billiard
+players were dragged to the polling-station in the green drawing-room.
+Lord Lyonesse and myself were the tellers. I shivered with excitement.
+One of the Ultimatelies of Churton Collins seemed to have arrived: it was
+Gotterdammerung--the Twilight of the Idols. And here is the result of
+the ballot, which I think every one will admit possesses extraordinary
+interest:
+
+Hall Caine.
+
+Marie Corelli.
+
+Rudyard Kipling.
+
+Lord Northcliffe.
+
+Sir Thomas Lipton.
+
+Hichens.
+
+Chamberlain.
+
+Barrie.
+
+George Alexander.
+
+Beerbohm Tree.
+
+I ought to add, of course, that the guests were unusually intellectual.
+There were our host and hostess, their three sons--one is a scholar of
+King's College, Cambridge, another is at Balliol, and a third is a
+stockbroker; there were five M.P.'s with their wives (two Liberal
+Imperialists, two Liberal Unionists, and one real Radical), a Scotch peer
+with his wife and an Irish peer without one; a publisher and his wife;
+three Academicians; four journalists; an Irish poet, a horse-dealer, a
+picture-dealer, another stockbroker, an artist, two lady novelists, a
+baronet and his wife, three musicians; and Myself. I think the only
+point on which the sincerity of the voting might be doubted, is the
+ominous absence of any soldier's name on the list. Lord Lyonesse,
+however, is a firm upholder of the Hague Conference: like myself, he is a
+pro-Boer, but he will not allow any reference to military affairs, and I
+suspect that it was out of deference to his wishes that the guests all
+abstained from writing down some names of our gallant generals. Lord
+Kitchener, however, obtained nine votes, and I myself included Christian
+De Wet; but on discovery of documents he was ruled out, in spite of my
+pleading for him on imperialistic grounds. I thought it rather insular,
+too, I must confess, that Mr. Henry James and Mr. Sargent were denied to
+me because they are American subjects. My own final list, as pasted in
+the Album at Ivanhoe, along with others, was as follows:
+
+H. G. Wells.
+
+C. H. Shannon.
+
+Bernard Shaw.
+
+Thomas Hardy.
+
+Lord Northcliffe.
+
+Edmund Gosse.
+
+Andrew Lang.
+
+Oliver Lodge.
+
+Dom Gasquet.
+
+Reginald Turner.
+
+Mine, of course, is the choice of a recluse: a scholar without
+scholarship, one who lives remote from politics, newspapers, society, and
+the merry-go-round of modern life. Its two chief interests lie in
+showing, first how far off I was from getting the prize (a vellum copy of
+poems, by our hostess), and secondly, that one name only, that of Lord
+Northcliffe, should have touched both the popular and the private
+imagination! I regret to say that none of the guests knew the names of
+Dom Gasquet or Sir Oliver Lodge. Every one, except the artist, thought
+C. H. Shannon was J. J. Shannon, and some of the voters were hardly
+convinced that Mr. Lang was still an ornament to contemporary literature.
+The prize was awarded to a lady whose list most nearly corresponded to
+the result of the general plebiscite. I need not say she was the wife of
+the publisher. After some suitable expressions from Lord Lyonesse, it
+was suggested that we should poll the servants' hall. Pencils and paper
+were provided and the butler was sent for. An hour was given for the
+election, and at half-past eleven the ballot papers were brought in on a
+massive silver tray discreetly covered with a red silk
+pocket-handkerchief, and here is the result:
+
+Frank Richardson.
+
+Marie Corelli.
+
+John Roberts.
+
+C. B. Fry.
+
+Eustace Miles.
+
+Robert Hichens.
+
+T. P. O'Connor.
+
+Lord Lyonesse.
+
+Dr. Williams (Pink Pills for Pale People).
+
+Hall Caine.
+
+The prize (and this is another odd coincidence) was won by the butler
+himself, to whom, very generously, the publisher's wife resigned the
+vellum copy of our hostess's poems. From a literary point of view, it is
+interesting to note that Mr. Frank Richardson is the only master of
+_belles lettres_ who is appreciated in the servants' hall! The other
+names we associate, rightly or wrongly, with something other than
+literature.
+
+The following evening I suggested choosing the greatest English names in
+the nineteenth century (twentieth-century life being strictly excluded).
+Every one by this time had caught the _suck-pencil_ fever. By general
+consent the suffrage was extended to the domestics: the electorate being
+thus one hundred. And what, you will ask, came of it all? I suggest
+that readers should guess. Any one interested should fill up, cut out,
+and send this coupon to my own publisher on April the first.
+
+_I think the Ten Greatest Englishmen of the Nineteenth Century were_:
+
+1 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+2 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+3 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+4 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+5 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+6 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+7 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+8 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+9 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+10 . . . . . . . . . .
+
+A prize, consisting of a copy of _Books of To-Day and Books of
+To-Morrow_, will be awarded for the best shot.
+
+
+
+
+MR. BENSON'S 'PATER.'
+
+
+In no other country has mediocrity such a chance as in England. The
+second-rate writer, the second-rate painter meets with an almost
+universal and immediate recognition. When good mediocrities die, if they
+do not go straight to heaven (from a country where the existence of
+Purgatory is denied by Act of Parliament), at least they run a very fair
+chance of burial in Westminster Abbey. 'De mortuis nil nisi _bonus_,' in
+the shape of royalties, is the real test by which we estimate the authors
+who have just passed away. A few of our great writers--Ruskin and
+Tennyson, for example--have enjoyed the applause accorded to senility by
+a people usually timid of brilliancy and strength, when it is
+contemporary. The ruins of mental faculties touch our imagination,
+owing, perhaps, to that tenderness for antiquity which has preserved for
+us the remains of Tintern Abbey. Seldom, however, does a great writer
+live to find himself, in the prime of his literary existence, a component
+part of English literature. Yet there are happy exceptions, and not the
+least of these was Walter Pater.
+
+His inclusion in the _English Men of Letters_ series, so soon after his
+death, somewhat dazzled the reviewers. Mr. Benson was complimented on a
+daring which, if grudgingly endorsed, is treated as just the sort of
+innovation you would expect from the brother of the author of _Dodo_. 'To
+a small soul the age which has borne it can appear only an age of small
+souls,' says Swinburne, and the presence of Pater, which rose so
+strangely beside our waters, seemed to many of his contemporaries only
+the last sob of a literature which they sincerely believed came to an end
+with Lord Macaulay.
+
+It was a fortunate chance by which Mr. A. C. Benson, one of our more
+discerning critics, himself master of no mean style, should have been
+chosen as commentator of Pater. Among the plutarchracy of the present
+day a not very pretty habit prevails of holding a sort of inquest on
+deceased writers--a reaction against misplaced eulogy--tearing them and
+their works to pieces, and leaving nothing for reviewers or posterity to
+dissipate. From the author of the _Upton Letters_ we expect sympathy and
+critical acumen. It is needless to say we are never disappointed. His
+book is not merely about a literary man: it is a work of literature
+itself. So it is charming to disagree with Mr. Benson sometimes, and a
+triumph to find him tripping. You experience the pleasure of the
+University Extension lecturer pointing out the mistakes in Shakespeare's
+geography, the joy of the schoolboy when the master has made a false
+quantity. In marking the modern discoveries which have shattered, not
+the value of Pater's criticisms, but the authenticity of pictures round
+which he wove his aureoles of prose, Mr. Benson says: 'In the essay on
+Botticelli he is on firmer ground.' But among the first masterpieces
+winged by the sportsmen of the new criticism was the Hamilton Palace
+'Assumption of the Virgin' (now proved to be by Botticini), to which
+Pater makes one of his elusive and delightful allusions. While the
+'_School of Giorgione_,' which Mr. Benson thinks a little _passe_ in the
+light of modern research is now in the movement. The latest bulletins of
+Giorgione, Pater would have been delighted to hear, are highly
+satisfactory. Pictures once torn from the altars of authenticity are
+being reinstated under the acolytage of Mr. Herbert Cook. A curious and
+perhaps wilful error, too, has escaped Mr. Benson's notice. Referring to
+the tomb of Cardinal Jacopo at San Miniato, Pater says, 'insignis forma
+fui--his epitaph dares to say;' the inscription reads _fuit_. But
+perhaps the _t_ was added by the Italian Government out of Reference to
+the English residents in Florence, and the word read _fui_ in 1871.
+_Troja fuit_ might be written all over Florence.
+
+Then some of the architecture at Vezelay 'typical of Cluniac sculpture'
+is pure Viollet-le-Duc, I am assured by a competent authority. A more
+serious error of Pater's, for it is adjectival, not a fact, occurs in
+_Apollo in Picardy_--'_rebellious_ masses of black hair.' This is the
+only instance in the _parfait prosateur_, as Bourget called him, of a
+cliche worthy of the 'Spectator.' Then it is possible to differ from Mr.
+Benson in his criticism of the _Imaginary Portraits_ (the four fair ovals
+in one volume), surely Pater's most exquisite achievement after the
+_Renaissance_. _Gaston_ is the failure Pater thought it was, and
+_Emerald Uthwart_ is frankly very silly, though Mr. Benson has a curious
+tenderness for it. One sentence he abandons as absolute folly. The
+grave psychological error in the story occurs where the surgeon expresses
+compunction at making the autopsy on Uthwart because of his perfect
+anatomy. Surely this would have been a source of technical pleasure and
+interest to a surgeon, much as a butterfly-collector is pleased when he
+has murdered an unusually fine species of lepidoptera. Speaking myself
+as a vivisector of some experience, I can confidently affirm that a well-
+bred golden collie is far more interesting to operate upon than a mongrel
+sheep-dog. Nor can I comprehend Mr. Benson's blame of _Denys
+l'Auxerrois_ as too extravagant and even unwholesome, when the last
+quality, so obvious in _Uthwart_, he seems to condone.
+
+Again, _Marius the Epicurean_ is a failure by Pater's own high standard:
+you would have imagined it seemed so to Mr. Benson.
+
+Dulness is by no means its least fault. In scheme it is not unlike _John
+Inglesant_; but how lifeless are the characters compared with those of
+Shorthouse. Both books deal with philosophic ideas and sensations; the
+incidents are merely illustrative and there is hardly a pretence of
+sequence. In the historical panorama which moves behind _Inglesant_,
+there are at least 'tactile' values, and seventeenth-century England is
+conjured up in a wonderful way; how accurately I do not know. In
+_Marius_ the background is merely a backcloth for mental _poses
+plastiques_. You wonder, not how still the performers are, but why they
+move at all. Marcus Aurelius, the delightful Lucian, even Flavian, and
+the rest, are busts from the Capitoline and Naples museums. Their bodies
+are make-believe, or straw from the loft at 'White Nights.' Cornelius,
+Mr. Benson sorrowfully admits, is a Christian prig, but Marius is only a
+pagan chip from the same block. John Inglesant is a prig too, but there
+is blood in his veins, and you get, at all events, a Vandyck, not a
+plaster cast. The magnificent passages of prose which vest this image
+make it resemble the _ex voto_ Madonnas of continental churches--a shrine
+in literature but not a lighthouse.
+
+I sometimes wonder what Pater would have become had he been a Cambridge
+man, and if the more strenuous University might have _forced_ him into
+greater sympathy with modernity; or if he had been born in America, as he
+nearly was, and Harvard acted as the benign stepmother of his days. Such
+speculations are not beyond all conjecture, as Sir Thomas Browne said. I
+think he would have been exactly the same.
+
+On the occasion of Pater's lecture on Prosper Merimee, his friends
+gathered round the platform to congratulate him; he expressed a hope that
+the audience was able to hear what he said. 'We overheard you,' said
+Oscar Wilde. 'Ah, you have a phrase for everything,' replied the
+lecturer, the only contemporary who ever influenced himself, Wilde
+declared. How admirable both of the criticisms! Pater is an aside in
+literature, and that is why he was sometimes overlooked, and may be so
+again in ages to come. Though he is the greatest master of style the
+century produced, he can never be regarded as part of the structure of
+English prose. He is, rather, one of the ornaments, which often last,
+long after a structure has perished. His place will be shifted, as
+fashions change. Like some exquisite piece of eighteenth-century
+furniture perchance he may be forgotten in the attics of literature
+awhile, only to be rediscovered. And as Fuseli said of Blake, 'he is
+damned good to steal from.' If he uses words as though they were
+pigments, and sentences like vestments at the Mass, it is not merely the
+ritualistic cadence of his harmonies which makes his works imperishable,
+but the ideas which they symbolise and evoke. Pater thinks beautifully
+always, about things which some people do not think altogether beautiful,
+perhaps; and sometimes he thinks aloud. We overhear him, and feel almost
+the shame of the eavesdropper.
+
+Mr. Benson has approached Walter Pater, the man, with almost sacerdotal
+deference. He suggests ingeniously where you can find the
+self-revelation in _Gaston_ and _The Child in the House_. This is far
+more illuminating than the recollections of personal friends whose
+reminiscences are modelled on those of Captain Sumph. Mr. Humphry Ward
+remembers Pater only once being angry--it was in the Common Room--it was
+with X, an elderly man! The subject of the difference was 'modern
+lectures.' 'Relations between them were afterwards strained.' Mr.
+Arthur Symons remembers that he intended to bring out a new volume of
+_Imaginary Portraits_. Fancy that! Really, when friends begin to tell
+stories of that kind, I begin to suspect they are trying to conceal
+something. Perhaps we have no right to know everything or anything about
+the amazing personalities of literature; but Henleys and Purcells lurk
+and leak out even at Oxford; and that is not the way to silence them.
+Just when the aureole is ready to be fitted on, some horrid graduate
+(Litterae _in_humaniores) inks the statue. Anticipating something of the
+kind, Mr. Benson is careful to insist on the divergence between Rossetti
+and Pater, and on page eighty-six says something which is ludicrously
+untrue. If self-revelation can be traced in _Gaston_, it can be found
+elsewhere. There are sentences in _Hippolytus Veiled_, the _Age of the
+Athletic_ _Prizemen_, and _Apollo in Picardy_, which not only explode Mr.
+Benson's suggestions, but illustrate the objections he urges against
+_Denys l'Auxerrois_. They are passages where Pater thinks aloud. If
+Rossetti wore his heart on the sleeve, Pater's was just above the cuff,
+like a bangle; though it slips down occasionally in spite of the alb
+which drapes the hieratic writer not always discreetly.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+SIMEON SOLOMON.
+
+
+A good many years ago, before the Rhodes scholars invaded Oxford, there
+lingered in that home of lost causes and unpopular names, the afterglow
+of the aesthetic sunset. It was not a very brilliant period. Professor
+Mackail and Mr. Bowyer Nichols had left Balliol. Nothing was expected of
+either the late Sir Clinton Dawkins or Canon Beeching; and the
+authorities of Merton could form no idea where Mr. Beerbohm would
+complete his education. Names are more suggestive than dates and give
+less pain. Then, as now, there were 'cultured' undergraduates, and those
+who were very cultured indeed, read Shelley and burned incense, would
+always have a few photographs after Simeon Solomon on their walls--little
+notes of illicit sentiment to vary the monotony of Burne-Jones and
+Botticelli. When uncles and aunts came up for Gaudys and Commem., while
+'Temperantia' and the 'Primavera' were left in their places, 'Love dying
+from the breath of Lust,' 'Antinous,' and other drawings by Solomon with
+titles from the Latin Vulgate, were taken down for the occasion. Views
+of the sister University, Cambridge took their places, being more
+appropriate to Uncle Parker's and Aunt Jane's tastes. More advanced
+undergraduates, who 'knew what things were,' possessed even originals.
+Now the unfortunate artist is dead his career can be mentioned without
+prejudice.
+
+Simeon Solomon was born in 1841. He was the third son of Michael
+Solomon, a manufacturer of Leghorn hats, and the first Jew ever admitted
+to the Freedom of London. The elder brother, Abraham, became a
+successful painter of popular subjects ('Waiting for the Verdict' and
+'First and Third Class'), and died on the day of his election to the
+Academy! Rebecca a sister who was also a painter, copied with success
+some of Millais's pictures. At the age of sixteen Simeon exhibited at
+the Academy, though beyond a short training at Leigh's Art School in
+Newman Street he was almost self-taught. He was an early and intimate
+friend of the Pre-Raphaelites, with whose art he had much in common,
+though it is only for convenience that he is included in the school. Like
+Whistler, he was profoundly affected by the genius of Rossetti. Racial
+and other causes removed him from any real affinity to the archaistic
+moralatarianism of Mr. Holman Hunt. For obvious reasons the
+Pre-Raphaelite memoirs are silent about him, but Burne-Jones was said to
+have maintained, in after years, 'that he was the greatest artist of us
+all.' Throughout the sixties Solomon was one of those black-and-white
+draughtsmen whose contributions to the magazines have made the period
+famous in English art. He found ready purchasers for his pictures and
+drawings, not only among the well-to-do Hebrew community, such as Dr.
+Ernest Hart, his brother's brother-in-law, but with well-known Christian
+collectors like Mr. Leathart. He was on intimate terms with Walter
+Pater, of whom he executed one of the only two known portraits; and in
+the _Greek Studies_ will be found a graceful reference to the 'young
+Hebrew painter' whose 'Bacchus' at the Academy obviously contributed to
+the 'gem-like' flame of which we have heard so much.
+
+In a short-lived magazine, the _Dark Blue_, of July 1871, may be found a
+characteristic review by Swinburne of Solomon's strange rhapsody, _A
+Vision of Love Revealed in Sleep_, his only literary work, now a great
+rarity. This is the longest, and with one exception the most
+interesting, tribute to Solomon ever published. 'Since the first years
+of his early and brilliant celebrity as a young artist of high
+imagination, power, and promise,' Swinburne says, 'he has been at work
+long enough to enable us to define at least certain salient and dominant
+points of his genius . . . I have heard him likened to Heine as a kindred
+Hellenist of the Hebrews; Grecian form and beauty divide the allegiance
+of his spirit with Hebrew shadow and majesty.' It would be difficult to
+add anything further, in praise of the unfortunate artist, to the poet's
+eloquent eulogy of his friend's talents. An interesting piece of
+autobiography is afforded in the same article, where Swinburne tells us
+that his own poem of 'Erotion,' in the first series of _Poems and
+Ballads_, was written for a drawing by Simeon Solomon; and in another
+number of the same magazine there appeared 'The End of the Month,' to
+accompany a new design of Solomon's, the poem appearing later in the
+second series of _Poems and Ballads_. Very few English artists--not even
+Millais--began life with fairer prospects. Thackeray wrote in one of the
+'Roundabout Papers' for 1860: 'For example, one of the pictures I admired
+most at the Royal Academy is by a gentleman on whom I never, to my
+knowledge, set eyes. The picture is (346) "Moses," by S. Solomon. I
+thought it finely drawn and composed. It nobly represented to my mind
+the dark children of the Egyptian bondage. . . . My newspaper says: "Two
+ludicrously ugly women, looking at a dingy baby, do not form a pleasing
+object," and so good-bye, Mr. S. S.' This beautiful picture, painted
+when the artist was only nineteen, is now in the collection of Mr. W. G.
+Rawlinson, and was seen quite recently at the Franco-British Exhibition,
+where those familiar with his work considered it one of Solomon's
+masterpieces. Very few students of Thackeray realised, however, that the
+painter thus singled out for praise formed the subject of a sordid
+inquest reported in the _Times_ of August 18th, 1905.
+
+That Solomon's pictures were at first better known to the public than
+those of his now more famous associates is shown by Robert Buchanan
+confessing that he had scarcely seen any of their works except those of
+Solomon, which he proceeded to attack in the famous _The Fleshly School
+of Poetry_. As a sort of justification of the criticism, in the early
+seventies, the extraordinary artist had become a pariah. He was
+imprisoned for a short while, and on his release was placed in a private
+asylum by his friends. Scandal having subsided, since he showed no
+further signs of eccentricity, he was, by arrangement, sent out to post a
+letter in order that he might have a chance of quietly escaping and
+returning to the practice of his art. He returned to the asylum in half
+an hour!--a proceeding which was almost an evidence of insanity. He was
+subsequently officially dismissed, and from this time went steadily
+downhill, adding to his other vices that of intemperance. Every effort
+was made by friends and relatives to reclaim him. Studios were taken for
+him, commissions were given him, clothes were bought for him. He spent
+his week-ends in the lock-up. Several picture-dealers tried giving him
+an allowance, but he turned up intoxicated to demand advances, and the
+police had to be called in. He was found selling matches in the Mile End
+Road and tried his hand at pavement decoration without much success. The
+companion of Walter Pater and Swinburne became the associate of thieves
+and blackmailers. A story is told that one afternoon he called for
+assistance at the house of a well-known artist, a former friend, from
+whom he received a generous dole. Observing that the remote
+neighbourhood of the place lent itself favourably to burgling operations,
+Solomon visited his benefactor the same evening in company with a
+housebreaker. They were studying the dining-room silver when they were
+disturbed; both were in liquor, and the noise they made roused the
+sleepers above. The unwilling host good-naturedly dismissed them!
+
+Though a very delightful book might be made of his life by some one who
+would not shirk the difficulties of the subject, it is unnecessary here
+to dwell further on a career which belongs to the history of morbid
+psychology rather than of painting. After drifting from the stream of
+social existence into a Bohemian backwater, he found himself in the main
+sewer. This he thoroughly enjoyed in his own particular way, and
+rejected fiercely all attempts at rescue or reform. To his other old
+friends, such as Burne-Jones and Sir Edward Poynter, there must have been
+something very tragic in the contemplation of his wasted talents, for few
+young painters were more successful. Any one curious enough to study his
+pictures will regret that he was lost to art by allowing an ill-regulated
+life to prey upon his genius. He had not sufficient strength to keep the
+two things separate, as Shakespeare, Verlaine, and Leonardo succeeded in
+doing. At the same time, it is a consolation to think that he enjoyed
+himself in his own sordid way. When I had the pleasure of seeing him
+last, so lately as 1893, he was extremely cheerful and not aggressively
+alcoholic. Unlike most spoilt wastrels with the artistic temperament, he
+seemed to have no grievances, and had no bitter stories or complaints
+about former friends, no scandalous tales about contemporaries who had
+remained reputable; no indignant feeling towards those who assisted him.
+This was an amiable, inartistic trait in his character, though it may be
+a trifle negative; and for a positive virtue, as I say, he enjoyed his
+drink, his overpowering dirt, and his vicious life. He was full of
+delightful and racy stories about poets and painters, policemen and
+prisons, of which he had wide experience. He might have written a far
+more diverting book of memoirs than the average Pre-Raphaelite volume to
+which we look forward every year, though it is usually silent about poor
+Simeon Solomon. Physically he was a small, red man, with keen, laughing
+eyes.
+
+By 1887 he entirely ceased to produce work of any value. He poured out a
+quantity of pastels at a guinea apiece. They are repulsive and
+ill-drawn, with the added horror of being the shadows of once splendid
+achievements. Long after his name could be ever mentioned except in
+whispers, Mr. Hollyer issued a series of photographs of some of the fine
+early sanguine, Indian ink, and pencil drawings. The originals are
+unique of their kind. It is very easy to detect the unwholesome element
+which has inspired many of them, even the titles being indicative:
+'Sappho,' 'Antinous,' 'Amor Sacramentum.' One of the finest, 'Love dying
+from the breath of Lust,' of which also he painted a picture, became
+quite popular in reproduction owing to the moral which was screwed out of
+it. Another, of 'Dante meeting Beatrice at a Child's Party,' is
+particularly fascinating. To the present generation his work is perhaps
+too 'literary,' and his technique is by no means faultless; but the
+slightest drawing is informed by an idea, nearly always a beautiful one,
+however exotic. The faceless head and the headless body of shivering
+models dear to modern art students were absent from Solomon's designs.
+His pigments, both in water-colour and oils, are always harmonious, pure
+in tone, and rich without being garish. We need not try to frighten
+ourselves by searching too curiously for hidden meanings. His whole art
+is, of course, unwholesome and morbid, to employ two very favourite
+adjectives. His work has always appealed to musicians and men of letters
+rather than collectors--to those who ask that a drawing or a picture
+should suggest an idea rather than the art of the artist. Subject with
+him triumphs over drawing. He is sometimes hopelessly crude; but during
+the sixties, when, as some one said, 'every one was a great artist,' he
+showed considerable promise of draughtsmanship. His pictures are less
+fantastic than the drawings, and aim at probability, even when they are
+allegorical, or, as is too often the case, _odd_ in sentiment. He is
+apparently never concerned with what are called 'problems,' the
+articulation of forms, or any fidelity to nature beyond the human frame.
+Unlike many of the Pre-Raphaelites, he showed a feeling for the medium of
+oil. His friends and contemporaries, with the exception of Millais, and
+Rossetti occasionally, were always more at ease with water-colour or
+gouache, and you feel that most of their pictures ought to have been
+painted in _tempera_, the technique of which was not then understood.
+Since Millais was of French extraction, Rossetti of Italian, and Solomon
+of Hebrew, I fear this does not get us very much further away from the
+old French criticism that the English had forgotten or never learnt how
+to paint in oil. It must be remembered that Whistler, who in the sixties
+achieved some of his masterpieces, was an American.
+
+It is strange that Solomon did not allow a sordid existence to alter the
+trend of his subjects, for these are always derived from poetry and the
+Bible, or from Catholic, Jewish, or Greek Orthodox ritual--a strange
+contrast to the respectable, impeccable painter, M. Degas, the doyen of
+European art, nationalist and anti-Semite, who finds beauty only in
+brasseries, in the vulgar circus, and in the ghastly wings of the opera.
+How far removed from his surroundings are the inspirations of the artist!
+I believe J. F. Millet would have painted peasants if he had been born
+and spent his days in the centre of New York. With the life-long friend
+of M. Degas--Gustave Moreau--Solomon had much in common, but the colour
+of the English Hebrew is much finer, and his themes are less monotonous.
+I can imagine many people being repelled by this troubled introspective
+art, especially at the present day. There is hardly room for an inverted
+Watts. At the same time, even those who from age and training cannot
+take a sentimental interest in faded rose-leaves, whose perfume is a
+little overpowering, may care to explore an interesting byway of art. For
+poor Solomon there was no place in life. Casting reality aside, he
+stepped back into the riotous pages of Petronius. Perhaps on the Paris
+boulevards, with Verlaine and Bibi la Puree, he might have enjoyed a
+distinct artistic individuality. Expeditions conducted by Mr. Arthur
+Symons might have been organized in order to view him at some popular
+cafe. Mr. George Moore might have written about him. But in respectable
+London he was quite impossible. In the temple of Art, which is less
+Calvinistic than artists would have us suppose, he will always have his
+niche. To the future English Vasari he will be a real gold-mine.
+
+(1905.)
+
+
+
+
+AUBREY BEARDSLEY.
+
+
+Middle-aged, middle-class people, with a predilection for mediaeval art,
+still believe that subject is an important factor in a picture or
+drawing. I am one of the number. The subject need not be literary or
+historical. After you have discussed in the latest studio jargon its
+carpentry, valued the tones and toned the values, motive or theme must
+affect your appreciation of a picture, your desire, or the contrary, to
+possess it. That the artist is able to endow the unattractive, and woo
+you to surrender, I admit. Unless, however, you are a pro-Boer in art
+matters, and hold that Rembrandt and the Boer school (the greatest
+technicians who ever lived) are finer artists than Titian, you will find
+yourself preferring Gainsborough to Degas, and the unskilful Whistler to
+the more accomplished Edouard Manet. Long ago French critics invented an
+aesthetic formula to conceal that poverty of imagination which sometimes
+stares from their perfectly executed pictures, and this was eagerly
+accepted by certain Englishmen, both painters and writers. Yet, when an
+artist frankly deals with forbidden subjects, the canons regular of
+English art begin to thunder; the critics forget their French accent; the
+old Robert Adam, which is in all of us, asserts himself; we fly for the
+fig-leaves.
+
+I am led to these reflections by the memory of Aubrey Beardsley, and the
+reception which his work received, not from the British public, but from
+the inner circle of advanced intellectuals. Too much occupied with the
+obstetrics of art, his superfluity of naughtiness has tarnished his niche
+in the temple of fame. 'A wish to _epater le bourgeois_,' says Mr.
+Arthur Symons, 'is a natural one.' I do not think so; at least, in an
+artist. Now much of Beardsley's work shows the _eblouissement_ of the
+burgess on arriving at Montmartre for the first time--a weakness he
+shared with some of his contemporaries. This must be conceded in
+praising a great artist for a line which he never drew, after you have
+taken the immortal Zero's advice and divested yourself of the scruples.
+
+'I would rather be an Academician than an artist,' said Aubrey Beardsley
+to me one day. 'It takes thirty-nine men to make an Academician, and
+only one to make an artist.' In that sneer lay all his weakness and his
+strength. Grave friends (in those days it was the fashion) talked to him
+of 'Dame Nature.' '_Damn Nature_!' retorted Aubrey Beardsley, and pulled
+down the blinds and worked by gaslight on the finest days. But he was a
+real Englishman, who from his glass-house peppered the English public. No
+Latin could have contrived his arabesque. The grotesques of Jerome Bosch
+are positively pleasant company beside many of Beardsley's inventions.
+Even in his odd little landscapes, with their twisted promontories
+sloping seaward, he suggested mocking laughter; and the flowers of 'Under
+the Hill' are cackling in the grass.
+
+An essay, which Mr. Arthur Symons published in 1897, has always been
+recognised as far the most sympathetic and introspective account of this
+strange artist's work. It has been reissued, with additional
+illustrations, by Messrs. Dent. Those who welcome it as one of the most
+inspiring criticisms from an always inspired critic, will regret that
+eight of the illustrations belong to the worst period of Beardsley's art.
+Kelmscott dyspepsia following on a surfeit of Burne-Jones, belongs to the
+pathology of style; it is a phase that should be produced by the
+prosecution, not by the eloquent advocate for the defence. Moreover, I
+do not believe Mr. Arthur Symons admires them any more than I do; he
+never mentions them in his text. 'Le Debris d'un Poete,' the 'Coiffing,'
+'Chopin's Third Ballad,' and those for _Salome_ would have sufficed. With
+these omissions the monograph might have been smaller; but it would have
+been more truly representative of Beardsley's genius and Mr. Arthur
+Symons's taste.
+
+At one time or another every one has been brilliant about Beardsley.
+'Born Puck, he died Pierrot,' said Mr. MacColl in one of the superb
+phrases with which he gibbets into posterity an art or an artist he
+rather dislikes. 'The Fra Angelico of Satanism,' wrote Mr. Roger Fry of
+an exhibition of the drawings. There seems hardly anything left even for
+Mr. Arthur Symons to write. Long anterior to these particular fireworks,
+however, his criticism is just as fresh as it was twelve years ago. I
+believe it will always remain the terminal essay.
+
+The preface has been revised, and I could have wished for some further
+revision. Why is the name of Leonard Smithers--here simply called _a_
+publisher--omitted, when the other Capulets and Montagus are faithfully
+recorded? When no one would publish Beardsley's work, Smithers stepped
+into the breach. I do not know that the _Savoy_ exactly healed the
+breach between Beardsley and the public, but it gave the artist another
+opportunity; and Mr. Arthur Symons an occasion for song. Leonard
+Smithers, too, was the most delightful and irresponsible publisher I ever
+knew. Who remembers without a kindly feeling the little shop in the
+Royal Arcade with its tempting shelves; its limited editions of _5000_
+copies; the shy, infrequent purchaser; the upstairs room where the roar
+of respectable Bond Street came faintly through the tightly-closed
+windows; the genial proprietor? In the closing years of the nineteenth
+century his silhouette reels (my metaphor is drawn from a Terpsichorean
+and Caledonian exercise) across an artistic horizon of which the _Savoy_
+was the afterglow. Again, why is Mr. Arthur Symons so precise about
+forgetting the date of Beardsley's expulsion from the _Yellow Book_? It
+was in April 1895, April 10th. A number of poets and writers blackmailed
+Mr. Lane by threatening to withdraw their own publications unless the
+Beardsley Body was severed from the Bodley Head. I am glad to have this
+opportunity, not only of paying a tribute to the courage of my late
+friend Smithers, but of defending my other good friend, Mr. John Lane,
+from the absurd criticism of which he was too long the victim. He could
+hardly be expected to wreck a valuable business in the cause of unpopular
+art. Quite wrongly Beardsley's designs had come to be regarded as the
+pictorial and sympathetic expression of a decadent tendency in English
+literature. But if there was any relation thereto, it was that of
+Juvenal towards Roman Society. Never was mordant satire more evident. If
+Beardsley is carried away in spite of himself by the superb invention of
+_Salome_, he never forgets his hatred of its author. It is
+characteristic that he hammered beauty from the gold he would have
+battered into caricature. _Salome_ has survived other criticism and
+other caricature. And Mr. Lane once informed an American interviewer
+that since that April Fool's Day poetry has ceased to sell altogether.
+The bards unconsciously committed suicide; and the _Yellow Book_ perished
+in the odour of sanctity.
+
+Recommending the perusal of some letters (written by Beardsley to an
+unnamed friend) published some years ago, Mr. Arthur Symons says: 'Here,
+too, we are in the presence of the real thing.' I venture to doubt this.
+I do not doubt Beardsley's sincerity in the religion he embraced, but his
+expression of it in the letters. At least, I hope it was insincere. The
+letters left on some of us a disagreeable impression, at least of the
+recipient. You wonder if this pietistic friend received a copy of the
+_Lysistrata_ along with the eulogy of St. Alfonso Liguori and Aphra Behn.
+A fescennine temperament is too often allied with religiosity. It
+certainly was in Beardsley's case, but I think the other and stronger
+side of his character should, in justice to his genius, be insisted upon,
+as Mr. Arthur Symons insisted upon it. If we knew that the ill-advised
+and unnamed friend was the author of certain pseudo-scientific and
+pornographic works issued in Paris, we should be better able to gauge the
+unimportance of these letters. Far more interesting would have been
+those written to Mr. Joseph Pennell, one of the saner influences; or
+those to Aubrey Beardsley's mother and sister.
+
+'It was at Arques,' says Mr. Arthur Symons . . . 'that I had the only
+serious, almost solemn conversation I ever had with Beardsley.' You can
+scarcely believe that any of the conversations between the two were other
+than serious and solemn, because he approaches Beardsley as he would John
+Bunyan or Aquinas. Art, literature and life, are all to this engaging
+writer a scholiast's pilgrim's progress. Beside him, Walter Pater, from
+whom he derives, seems almost flippant--and to have dallied too long in
+the streets of Vanity Fair.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+ENGLISH AESTHETICS.
+
+
+The law reports in newspapers contain perhaps the only real history of
+England that has any relation to truth. Here, too, may be found
+indications of current thought, more pregnant than the observations of
+historians. They still afford material for the future short or longer
+history of the English people by the John Richard Greens of posterity.
+This was brought home to me by perusing two cases reported in the
+_Morning Post_, that of Mrs. Rita Marsh and the disputed will of Miss
+Browne. I yield to no one in my ignorance of English law, but I have
+seldom read judgments which seemed so conspicuously unfair, so
+characteristic of the precise minimum of aesthetic perception in the
+English people.
+
+The hostelries of Great Britain are famous for their high charges, their
+badly-kept rooms, and loathsome cooking; let me add, their warm welcome.
+In the reign of Edward III. there was legislation on the subject. The
+colder and cheaper hospitality of the Continent strikes a chill, I am
+sometimes told by those familiar with both. The hotel selected by a
+certain Mrs. Rita Marsh was no exception to the ordinary English
+caravanserai. It was 'replete with every comfort.' The garden contained
+an _oubliette_, down which Mrs. Marsh, while walking in the evening,
+inadvertently fell. On the Continent the _oubliettes_ are inside the
+house, and you are ostentatiously warned of their immediate
+neighbourhood. These things are managed better in France, if I may say
+so without offending Tariff Reformers.
+
+The accident disfigured Mrs. Marsh for life; and for the loss of unusual
+personal attractions an English jury awarded her only 500_l_. The judge
+made a joke about it. Mr. Gill was very playful about her photograph,
+and every one, except, I imagine, Mrs. Marsh, seems to have been
+satisfied that ample justice was done. The hotel proprietors did not
+press their counter-claim for a bill of 191_l_.! Chivalrous fellows!
+Still, I can safely say that in France Mrs. Marsh would have been awarded
+at least four times that amount; though if she had been murdered the
+proprietors would have only been fined forty francs. But beauty to its
+fortunate possessors is more valuable than life itself, and the story is
+to me one of the most pathetic I have ever heard. To the English mind
+there is something irresistibly comic when any one falls, morally or
+physically. It is the basis of English Farce. Jokes made about those
+who have never fallen, 'too great to appease, too high to appal,' are
+voted bad taste. Caricaturists of the mildest order are considered
+irreligious and vulgar if they burlesque, say, the Archbishop of
+Canterbury for example; or unpatriotic if they hint that Lord Roberts did
+not really finish the Boer War when he professed to have done so. After
+Parnell came to grief I remember the Drury Lane pantomime was full of
+fire-escapes, and every allusion to the _cause celebre_ produced roars of
+laughter. Mr. Justice Bigham was only a thorough Englishman when he
+gently rallied the jury for awarding, as he obviously thought, excessive
+damages. So little is beauty esteemed in England.
+
+The case of Miss Browne was also singular. She left a trust fund 'for
+the erection of an ornamental structure of Gothic design, such as a
+market cross, tall clock, street lamp-stand, or all combined, in a
+central part of London, the plan whereof shall be offered for open
+competition, and ultimately decided upon by the Royal Institute of
+British Architects.' The President of the Probate Division said _he was
+satisfied that Miss Browne was not of sound mind, and pronounced against
+the will_, with costs out of the estate. I wonder what the Royal
+Institute thinks of this legal testimonial. It seems almost a pity that
+some one did not dispute Sir Francis Chantrey's will years ago on similar
+grounds. I suggest to Mr. MacColl that it might still be upset. That
+would settle once and for all the question whether the administration of
+the bequest has evinced evidence of insanity or not. A recent Royal
+Commission left the matter undecided. I do not, however, wish to
+criticise trustees, but to defend the memory of Miss Browne (who may have
+been eccentric in private life) from such a charge, because her
+testamentary dispositions were a trifle aesthetic. The will was
+un-English in one respect: '_no inscription of my name shall be placed on
+such erection_.' Was that the clause which proved her hopelessly mad?
+The erection was to be Gothic. I know Gothic is out of fashion just now.
+Ruskin is quite over; the Seven Lamps exploded long ago; but Miss Browne
+seems to have attended before her death Mr. MacColl's lectures, knew all
+about 'masses' and 'tones' in architecture, and wished particular stress
+to be laid on 'the general outline as seen from a good distance.' This
+is greeted by some of the papers as particularly side-splitting and
+eccentric. Looking at the unlovely streets of London, never one of the
+more beautiful cities of Europe, where each new building seems contrived
+to go one better in sheer _uglitude_ (especially since builders of Tube
+stations have ventured into the Vitruvian arena), you can easily suppose
+that poor Miss Browne, with her views about 'general outlines seen from a
+good distance,' must have appeared hopelessly insane. The decision of
+the court is not likely to encourage any further public bequests of this
+kind. I have cut the British Museum and the National Gallery out of my
+own will already. And I understand why Mr. MacColl, with his passionate
+pleading for a living national architecture, for official recognition of
+past and present English art, is thought by many good people quite odd.
+How he managed to attract the notice of any but the Lunacy Commissioners
+I cannot conceive. Valued critic, admired artist, model keeper, I only
+hope he will attract no further attention.
+
+Since it is clear that the law assists in blackening reputations even in
+the grave, I claim that other Miss Brownes who take advantage of life,
+and time by the forelock to put up monuments in the sufficiently hideous
+thoroughfares should be pronounced _non compos mentis_. The perpetrators
+of the erection in High Street, Kensington, hard by St. Mary Abbots, may
+serve as an example. Inconvenient, vulgar, inapposite, this should debar
+even the subscribers from obtaining probate for their wills. I invoke
+posthumous revenge, and claim that at least 500_l_. damages should be
+paid as compensation to the nearest hospital for the _indignant_ blind,
+as my friend Mr. Vincent O'Sullivan calls them in one of his delightful
+stories.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+NON ANGELI SED ANGLI.
+
+
+I wish that the Rokeby Velasquez now firmly secured for the British
+nation could have been allowed to remain in Bond Street for a short
+while; not to tantalise the foreign countries who so eagerly competed for
+its acquisition, nor to emphasise the patriotism of its former owners,
+but as a contrast to 'Some Examples of the Independent Art of To-day,'
+held at Messrs. Agnew's. Perhaps not as a contrast even, but as a
+complement. I do not mean to place all the examples on the same level
+with the 'Venus,' though with some I should have preferred to live; yet
+the juxtaposition would have asserted the tradition of the younger
+painters and the modernity of the older master. 'We are all going
+to--Agnew's, and Velasquez will be of the company,' or something like
+Gainsborough's dying words would have occurred sooner or later. I am
+persuaded that we look at the ancient pictures with frosted magnifying-
+glasses, and stare at the younger men from the wrong end of the
+binoculars. It was ever thus; it always will be so. Most of us suspect
+our contemporaries or juniors. And they--_les jeunes feroces_--are
+impatient of their immediate predecessors. _Nos peres out toujours
+tort_. Though grandpapa is sometimes quite picturesque; his waistcoat
+and old buttons suit us very well. 'Your Raphael is not even divine,'
+said Velasquez when he left Rome and that wonderful _p.p.c_. card on the
+Doria. 'Your Academicians are not even academic,' some of the younger
+painters and their champions are saying to-day.
+
+I found, moreover, the epithet 'independent,' to qualify an entertaining
+and significant exhibition, misleading. For many of the items could only
+be so classified in the sense that they were independent of Messrs. Agnew
+and the Royal Academy. Mr. Tonks and Professor Brown are official
+instructors at the Slade School in London; Mr. C. J. Holmes is Keeper of
+the National Portrait Gallery. Mr. Gerard Chowne was a professor at
+Liverpool. Mr. Fry is now an official at New York; and the majority of
+the painters belonged to two distinctive and _dependent_ groups--the
+Glasgow School and the New English Art Club. Intense individualism is
+not incompatible with militant collectivism. The only independent
+artists, if you except Mr. Nicholson, were Mr. C. H. Shannon and Mr.
+Charles Ricketts, who have always stood apart, being neither for the
+Royal Academy nor its enemies; their choice is in their pictures.
+
+I feel it difficult to write of painters for some of whom I acted showman
+so long at the Carfax Gallery. I confess that when I heard they were
+going to Bond Street my pangs were akin to those of the owner of a small
+country circus on learning that his troupe of performing dogs had been
+engaged by Mr. Imre Kiralfy or the Hippodrome. A quondam dealer in
+ultramontanes, I became an Othello of the trade. And in their grander
+quarters (I grieve to say) they looked better than ever, though I would
+have chosen another background, something less expensive and more severe.
+Yes, they all went through their hoops gracefully. With one exception, I
+never saw finer Wilson Steers; the 'Sunset' might well be hung beside the
+new Turners, when the gulf between ancient and modern art would be almost
+imperceptible. The 'Aliens' of Mr. Rothenstein in the cosmopolitan
+society of a public picture gallery would hardly appear foreigners,
+because they belong to a country where the inhabitants are racy of every
+one else's soil. When time has given an added dignity (if that were
+possible) to this work, I can realise how our descendants will laugh at
+our lachrymose observations on the decadence of art. The background
+against which the stately Hebrew figures are silhouetted is in itself a
+liberal education for the aged and those who ask their friends what these
+modern fellows mean.
+
+When the inhabitants of the unceltiferous portion of these islands employ
+the adjective _un-English_ you may be sure there is something serious on
+the carpet. It is valedictory, expressive of sorrow and contempt rather
+than anger. All the other old favourites of vituperative must have
+missed fire before this almost sacred, disqualifying Podsnappianism is
+applied to the objectionable person, picture, book, behaviour, or
+movement. And when the epithet is brought into action, in nine cases out
+of ten it is aimed at some characteristic essentially, often blatantly,
+Anglo-Saxon. Throughout the nineteenth century all exponents of art and
+literature not conforming to Fleet Street ideals were voted un-English;
+Byron, Shelley, Keats, Swinburne, the Pre-Raphaelites, and, in course of
+good time, those artists who formed the New English Art Club. There was
+some ground for suspicion of foreign intrigue. They regarded Mr.
+Whistler, an American, who flirted with French impressionism, as a
+pioneer. Some of their names suggest the magic Orient or the romantic
+scenery of the Rhine. But it is not extravagant to assert that if Mr.
+Rothenstein had chosen to be born in France or Germany, instead of in
+Bradford, his art would have come to us in another form. In his strength
+and his weakness he is more English than the English. Art may have
+cosmopolitan relations (it is usually a hybrid), but it must take on the
+features of the country and people where it grows; or it may change them,
+or change the vision of the people of its adoption. Yet Ruth must not
+look too foreign in the alien corn, or her values will get wrong. When
+an English artist airs his foreign accent and his smattering of French
+pigment his work has no permanent significance. Even Professor Legros
+unconsciously assimilated British subjectivity: his Latin rein has been
+slackened; his experiments are often literary.
+
+It is an error however to regard the exhibitions of the New English Art
+Club as a homogeneous movement, such as that of Barbizon and the
+Pre-Raphaelite--inspired by a single idea or similar group of ideas. The
+members have not even the cohesion of Glasgow or defunct Newlyn. The
+only thing they have in common, in common originally with Glasgow, was a
+distaste for the tenets and ideals of Burlington House. The serpent (or
+was it the animated rod?) of the Academy soon swallowed the
+sentimentalities of Newlyn, just as the International boa-constrictor
+made short work of Glasgow. And the forbidden fruit of an official Eden
+has tempted many members of the Club. Others have resigned from time to
+time, but with no ill result--to the Club. Now, the reason for this is
+that the members have no dependence on each other, except for the
+executive organization of Mr. Francis Bate. It may be doubted if in
+their heart of hearts they admire each other's works. They are intense
+individualists (personal friends, maybe, in private life) artistically
+speaking, on terms of cutting acquaintance at the Slade.
+
+The mannerism of Professor Legros is still, of course, a common
+denominator for the older men, and the younger artists evince a
+familiarity with drawing unusual in England, due to the admirable
+training of Professor Brown and Mr. Henry Tonks. The Spartan Mr. Tonks
+may not be able to make geniuses, but he has the faculty of turning out
+efficient workmen. Whether they become members of the Club or drift into
+the haven of Burlington House, at all events they _can_ fly and wear
+their aureoles with propriety. A society, however, which contains such
+distinctive and assertive personalities as Mr. Wilson Steer, Mr. Henry
+Tonks, Mr. Augustus John, Mr. William Orpen, Mr. Von Glehn, Mr. MacColl,
+and Professor Holmes, cannot possess even such unity of purpose as
+inspired Mr. Holman Hunt and his associates of the 'fifties. The New
+English Art Club is simply an admirably administered association whose
+members have rather less in common than is shared by the members of an
+ordinary political club. The exhibitions are for this reason intensely
+interesting. They cannot be waved aside like mobs, and no comprehensive
+epigram can do them even an injustice.
+
+I never knew any painter worthy of the name who paid the smallest
+attention to what a critic says, even in conversation. He will retort;
+but he will not change his style or regulate his motives to suit a
+critic's palate. So may I now mention their faults? What painter is
+without fault? Their faults are shared by _nearly_ all of them; their
+virtues are their own. I see among them an absence of any _desire_ for
+beauty--for physical beauty. If the artists have fulfilled a mission in
+abolishing 'the sweetly pretty Christmas supplement kind of work,' I
+think they dwell too long on the trivial and the ignoble. They put a not
+very interesting domesticity into their frames. Rossetti, of course,
+wheeled about the marriage couch, but his was itself an interesting
+object of _virtu_. Modern art ceased to express the better aspirations
+and thoughts of the day when modern artists refused to become the
+servants of the commune, but asserted themselves as a component part of
+an intellectual republic. That is why people only commission portraits,
+and prefer to buy old masters who anticipate those better aspirations.
+Burne-Jones, however, expressed in paint that longing to be out of the
+nineteenth century which was so widespread. Now we are well out of it,
+the rising generation does not esteem his works with the same enthusiasm
+as the elders. It reads Mr. Wells on the future, and looks into the
+convex mirror of Mr. Bernard Shaw; but it does not buy Dubedats to the
+extent that it ought to do. The members of the New English Art Club
+could, I think, preserve their aesthetic conscience and yet paint
+beautiful things and beautiful people. Mr. Steer has now given them a
+lead. I wonder what Mr. Winter's opinion would be? He is the best
+salesman in London.
+
+Among dealers, the ancient firm of Messrs. P. & D. Colnaghi, of which
+Thackeray writes, is the _doyen_. That of Messrs. Agnew is the _douane_.
+Here it is that the official seal must be set before modern paintings can
+pass onwards to the Midlands and the middle classes. Well, I felicitate
+the august officials on removing a tariff of prejudice; I felicitate the
+young artists who, released from the bondage of the Egyptian Hall, can
+now enjoy the lighter air, the larger day, the pasturage and patronage of
+Palestine. I compliment the fearless collectors, such as Mr. C. K.
+Butler, Mr. Herbert Trench, Mr. Daniel, His Honour Judge Evans, the
+Leylands and the Leathearts of a latter day, for ignoring contemporary
+ridicule and anticipating the verdict, not of passing fashion but of
+posterity. As the servant spoke well of his master while wearing his
+clothes which were far too big for him, let me congratulate the
+Chrysostom of critics, the Origen who has scourged our heresies, Mr. D.
+S. MacColl; because the Greeks have entered Troy or the barbarians the
+senate-house. _Dissolve frigus ligna super foco large reponens_, and let
+us mix our metaphors. What was Mr. MacColl's Waterloo was a Canossa for
+Messrs. Agnew.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+MR. HOLMAN HUNT AT THE LEICESTER GALLERIES.
+
+
+An enterprising American syndicate was once formed for manufacturing
+Stilton cheeses on a large scale; like the pirated Cheddars from similar
+sources, enjoyed by members of most London clubs. Various farms
+celebrated for their Stiltons were visited, sums of money being offered
+for old family recipes. The simple peasants of the district willingly
+parted with copies of their heirlooms, for a consideration, to the
+different American agents, who, filled with joy, repaired to their London
+offices in order to compare notes, and fully persuaded that England was a
+greener country than ever Constable painted it. What was their
+mortification on discovering that all the recipes were entirely
+different; they could not be reconciled even by machinery. So it is with
+Pre-Raphaelitism; every critic believes that he knows the great secret,
+and can always quote from one of the brotherhood something in support of
+his view. At the beginning the brothers meekly accepted Ruskin's
+explanation of their existence; his, indeed, was a very convenient,
+though not entirely accurate, exposition of their collective view, if
+they can be said to have possessed one. How far Ruskin was out of
+sympathy with them, indiscreet memoirs have revealed. An artistic idea,
+or a group of ideas, must always be broken gently to the English people,
+because the acceptance of them necessitates the swallowing of words. When
+the golden ladders are let down from heaven by poets, artists, or critics
+even; or new spirits are hovering in the intellectual empyrean, the
+patriarch public snoring on its stone pillow wakes up; but he will not
+wrestle with the angel. He mistakes the ladders for scaffolding, or some
+temporary embarrassment in the street traffic; he orders their instant
+removal; he writes angry letters to the papers and invokes the police.
+After some time Ruskin's definition of Pre-Raphaelitism was generally
+accepted, and then the death of Rossetti produced other recipes for the
+Stilton cheese, Mr. Hall Caine being among the grocers. Whatever the
+correct definition may be, ungracious and ungrateful though it is to
+praise the dead at the expense of the living, it has to be recognised
+that among the remarkable group of painters in which even the minor men
+were little masters, the greatest artist of them all was Dante Gabriel
+Rossetti. 'By critic I mean finding fault,' says Sir William Richmond;
+so let us follow his advice, and avoid technical discussion along with
+the popular jargon of art criticism. 'After staying two or three hours
+in the always-delightful Leicester Galleries, let us walk home and think
+a little of what we have seen.' For the essence of beauty there is
+nothing of Mr. Holman Hunt's to compare with Rossetti's 'Beloved' or the
+'Blue Bower;' and you could name twenty of the poet's water-colours
+which, for design, invention, devious symbolism, and religious impulse,
+surpass the finest of Mr. Hunt's most elaborate works. Even in the
+painter's own special field--the symbolised illustration of Holy Writ--he
+is overwhelmed by Millais with the superb 'Carpenter's Shop.' In
+Millais, it was well said by Mr. Charles Whibley, 'we were cheated out of
+a Rubens.' Millais was the strong man, the great oil-painter of the
+group, as Rossetti was the supreme artist. In Mr. Holman Hunt we lost
+another Archdeacon Farrar. Then, in the sublimation of uglitude, Madox-
+Brown, step-father of the Pre-Raphaelites (my information is derived from
+a P.R.B. aunt), was an infinitely greater conjurer. Look at the radiant
+painting of 'Washing of the Feet' in the Tate Gallery; is there anything
+to equal that masterpiece from the brush of Mr. Holman Hunt? The
+'Hireling Shepherd' comes nearest, but the preacher, following his own
+sheep, has strayed into alien corn, and on cliffs from which is ebbing a
+tide of nonconformist conscience. Like his own hireling shepherd, too,
+he has mistaken a phenomenon of nature for a sermon.
+
+One of the great little pictures, 'Claudio and Isabella,' proves,
+however, that _once_ he determined to be a painter. In the 'Lady of
+Shalott' he showed himself a designer with unusual powers akin to those
+of William Blake. Still, examined at a distance or close at hand, among
+his canvases do we find a single piece of decoration or a picture in the
+ordinary sense of the word? My definition of a religious picture is a
+painted object in two dimensions destined or suitable for the decoration
+of an altar or other site in a church, or room devoted to religious
+purposes; if it fails to satisfy the required conditions, it fails as a
+work of art. Where is the work of this so-called religious painter which
+would satisfy the not exacting conditions of a nonconformist or Anglican
+place of worship? You are not surprised to learn that Keble College
+mistook the 'Light of the World' for a patent fuel, or that the
+background of the 'Innocents' was painted in 'the Philistine plain.' Who
+could live even in cold weather with the 'Miracle of the Sacred Fire?'
+Give me rather the 'Derby Day' of Mr. Frith--admirable and underrated
+master. What are they if we cannot place them in the category of
+pictures? They are pietistic ejaculations--tickled-up maxims in pigment
+of extraordinary durability--counsels of perfection in colour and
+conduct. Of all the Pre-Raphaelites, Mr. Hunt will remain the most
+popular. He is artistically the scapegoat of that great movement which
+gave a new impulse to English art, a scapegoat sent out to wander by the
+dead seas of popularity. I once knew a learned German who regretted that
+none of his countrymen could paint 'Alpine scenery' as Mr. Hunt has done
+in the 'Scapegoat'! Yes, he has a message for every one, for my German
+friend, for Sir William Richmond, and myself. He is a missing link
+between art and popularity. He symbolises the evangelical attitude of
+those who would go to German Reed's and the Egyptian Hall, but would not
+attend a theatre. After all, it was a gracious attitude, because it is
+that of mothers who aged more beautifully, I think, than the ladies of a
+later generation which admired Whistler or Burne-Jones and regularly
+attended the Lyceum. When modern art, the brilliant art of the 'sixties,
+was strictly excluded from English homes except in black and white
+magazines, engravings from the 'Finding of Christ in the Temple' and the
+'Light of the World' were allowed to grace the parlour along with 'Bolton
+Abbey,' the 'Stag at Bay,' and 'Blucher meeting Wellington.' You see
+them now only in Pimlico and St. John's Wood. A friend of mine said he
+could never look at the picture of 'Blucher meeting Wellington' without
+blushing. . . . Like a good knight and true, Sir William Richmond,
+another Bedivere, has brandished Excalibur in the form of a catalogue for
+Mr. Hunt's pictures. He offers the jewels for our inspection; they make
+a brave show; they are genuine; they are intrinsic, but you remember
+others of finer water, Bronzino-like portraits of Mr. Andrew Lang and
+Bismarck and many others. Now, you should never recollect anything
+during the enjoyment of a complete work of art.
+
+Every one knows the view from Richmond, I should say _of_ Richmond; it is
+almost my own . . . Far off Sir Bedivere sees Lyonesse submerged; Camelot-
+at-Sea has capitulated after a second siege to stronger forces. The new
+Moonet is high in the heaven and a dim Turner-like haze has begun to
+obscure the landscape and soften the outlines. Under cover of the mist
+the hosts of Mordred MacColl, _en-Tate_ with victory, are hunting the
+steer in the New English Forest. Far off the enchanter Burne-Jones is
+sleeping quietly in Broceliande (I cannot bear to call it Rottingdean).
+Hark, the hunt, (not the Holman Hunt) is up in Caledon (Glasgow); they
+have started the shy wilson steer: they have wound the hornel; the lords
+of the International, who love not Mordred overmuch, are galloping nearer
+and nearer. Sir Bedivere can see their insolent pencils waving black and
+white flags: and the game-keepers and beaters (critics) chant in low
+vulgar tones:
+
+ When we came out of Glasgow town
+ There was really nothing at all to see
+ Except Legros and Professor Brown,
+ But _now_ there is Guthrie and Lavery.
+
+Undaunted Sir Bedivere drags his burden to a hermitage near Coniston; but
+he finds it ruined; he bars the door in order to administer refreshment
+to the wounded Pre-Raphaelite; there is a knocking at the wicket-gate; is
+it the younger generation? No, he can hear the tread of the royal
+sargent-at-arms; his spurs and sword are clanking on the pavement. Sir
+Bedivere feels his palette parched; his tongue cleaves to the roof of St.
+Paul's; but he is undaunted. 'We are surely betrayed if that is really
+Sargent,' he says. Through the broken tracery of the Italian Gothic
+window a breeze or draught comes softly and fans his strong academic
+arms; he feels a twinge. Some Merlin told him he would suffer from
+ricketts with shannon complications. Seizing Excalibur, he opens the
+door cautiously. 'Draw, caitiffs,' he cries; 'draw.' 'Perhaps they
+cannot draw; perhaps they are impressionists,' said a raven on the hill;
+and he flew away.
+
+(1906.)
+
+_To_ SIR WILLIAM BLAKE RICHMOND, R.A., K.C.B.
+
+
+
+
+THE ECLECTIC AT LARGE.
+
+
+In _The Education of an Artist_, Mr. Lewis Hind invented a new kind of
+art criticism--a pleasing blend of the Morelli narrative (minus the
+scientific method) and _Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour_. He contrives a
+young man, ignorant like the Russian, Lermoliev, who receives certain
+artistic impressions, faithfully recorded by Mr. Hind and visualised for
+the reader in a series of engaging half-tone illustrations. The hero's
+name is itself suggestive--Claude Williamson Shaw. By the end of the
+book he is nearly as learned as Mr. Claude Phillips: he might edit a
+series of art-books with all the skill of Dr. Williamson, and his power
+of racy criticism rivals that of Mr. George Bernard Shaw. You can hardly
+escape the belief that these three immortals came from the north and
+south, gathered as unto strife, breathed upon his mouth and filled his
+body--with ideas: Mr. Hind supplying the life. But this is not so: the
+ideas are all Mr. Hind's and the godfathers only supplied the name. What
+a name it is to be sure! It recalls one of Ibsen's plays: 'Claude
+Williamson Shaw was a miner's son--a Cornish miner's son, as you know; or
+perhaps you didn't know. He was always wanting _plein-air_.' Some one
+ought to say that in the book, but I must say it instead. At all events,
+Mr. Hind nearly always refers to him by his three names, and every one
+must think of him in the same way, otherwise side issues will intrude
+themselves--thoughts of other things and people. 'O Captain Shaw, type
+of true love kept under,' is not inapposite, because Claude Williamson
+Shaw fell in love with a lady who in a tantalising manner became a
+religious in one of the strictest Orders, the rules of which were duly
+set forth in old three-volume novels; that is the only conventional
+incident in the book. C. W. S., although he trains for painting, is
+admitted by Mr. Hind to be quite a bad artist. Apart, therefore, from
+the admirable criticism which is the main feature of the book, it shows
+great courage on the part of the inventor, great sacrifice, to admit that
+C. W. S. _was_ a failure as an artist. Bad artists, however, are always
+nice people. I do not say that the reverse is true; indeed, I know many
+good and even great artists who are charming; but I never met a
+thoroughly inferior painter (without any promise of either a future or a
+past) who was not irresistible socially. This accounts for some of the
+elections at the Royal Academy, I believe, and for the pictures on the
+walls of your friends whose taste you know to be impeccable. There is
+more hearty recognition of bad art in England than the Tate Gallery gives
+us any idea of.
+
+I know that the Chantrey Trustees were deprived of the only possible
+excuse for their purchases by the finding of Lord Lytton's Commission;
+but I, for one, shall always think of them as kindly men with a fellow-
+feeling for incompetence, who would have bought a work by Claude
+Williamson Shaw if the opportunity presented itself. I have sometimes
+tried to imagine what the pictures of _invented_ artists in fiction or
+drama were really like--I fear they were all dreadful performances. I
+used to imagine that Oswald Avling was a sort of Segantini, but something
+he says in the play convinced me that he was merely another Verboekhoven.
+Then Thackeray's Ridley must have been a terrible Philistine--a sort of
+Sir John Gilbert. Poor Basil Hallward's death was no great loss to art,
+I surmise: his portrait of 'Dorian Grey, Esq.', from all accounts,
+resembled the miraculous picture exhibited in Bond Street a short while
+ago. I am not surprised that its owner, whose taste improved, I suspect,
+with advancing years, destroyed it in the ordinary course after reading
+something by Mr. D. S. MacColl. It is distinctly stated that Dorian read
+the _Saturday Review_! Frenhofer, Hippolite Schimier, and Leon de Lora
+were probably chocolate-box painters of the regular second-empire type.
+Theobald, we know from Mr. Henry James, was a man of ideas who could not
+carry out his intentions. It must have been an exquisite memory of
+Theobald's failures which made Pater, when he wished to contrive an
+imaginary artistic personality, take Watteau as being some one in whose
+achievements you can believe. No literary artist can persuade us into
+admiring pictures which never existed; though an artist can reconstruct
+from literature a picture which has perished we know, from the 'Calumny
+of Apelles' by Botticelli. It was, therefore, wise to make Claude
+Williamson Shaw a failure as a painter. In accordance with my rule he
+was an excellent fellow, nearly as charming as his author, and better
+company in a picture-gallery it would be difficult to find--and you
+cannot visit picture-galleries with every friend: you require a
+sympathetic personality. It is the Claude--the Claude Phillips in him
+which I like best: the Dr. Williamson I rather suspect. I mean that when
+he was at Messrs. Chepstow, the publishers, he must have mugged up some
+of the real Dr. Williamson's art publications. Whether in the Louvre, or
+National Gallery, or in Italian towns, he always goes for the right
+thing; sometimes you wish he would make a mistake. Bad artists, of
+course, are often excellent judges of old pictures and make excellent
+dealers, and I am not denying the instinct of C. W. S.; but I cannot
+think it all came so naturally as Mr. Hind would indicate.
+
+The reason why Claude Williamson Shaw discovered 'that he would not find
+a true expression of his temperament' in painting readers of this
+ingenious book will discover for themselves. Assuming that he had any
+innate talent, I do not think he went about the right way to cultivate
+it. His friend Lund gave him the very worst advice; though we are the
+gainers. It is quite unnecessary to go out of England and gaze at a lot
+of pictures of entirely different schools in order to become a painter.
+Gainsborough and our great Norwich artists evolved themselves without any
+foreign study. There was no National Gallery in their days. A second-
+rate Wynants and a doubtful Hobbema seem to have been enough to give them
+hints. It would be tedious to mention other examples. The fortunate
+meeting of Zuccarelli and Wilson at Venice is the only instance I know in
+which foreign travel benefited any English landscape painter. Foreign
+travel is all very well when the artist has grown up. Paris has been the
+tomb of many English art students. M. Bordeaux, who gave Mr. Hind's hero
+tips in the atelier, seems to have been as 'convincing' as the famous
+barrel of the same name. Far better will the English student be under
+Mr. Tonks at the Slade; or even at the Royal Academy, where, owing to the
+doctrine of contraries, out of sheer rebellion he may become an artist.
+In Paris you learn perfect carpentry, but not art, unless you are a born
+artist; but in that case you will be one in spite of Paris, not because
+of it. But if C. W. Shaw had been a real painter he would have seen at
+Venice certain Tiepolos which seem to have escaped him, and in other
+parts of Italy certain Caravaggios. Yes, and Correggios and Guido Renis,
+too hastily passed by. He was doomed to be a connoisseur.
+
+(1906.)
+
+
+
+
+EGO ET MAX MEUS.
+
+
+'How very delightful Max's drawings are. For all their mad perspective
+and crude colour, they have, indeed, the sentiment of style, and they
+reveal with rarer delicacy than does any other record the spirit of Lloyd-
+George's day.' This sentence is not quite original: it is adapted from
+an eminent author because the words sum up so completely the
+inexpressible satisfaction following an inspection of Mr. Beerbohm's
+caricatures. To-day essentially belongs to the Minister who once
+presided at the Board of Trade. Several attempts indeed have been made
+to describe the literature, art and drama of the present as 'Edwardian,'
+from a very proper and loyal spirit, to which I should be the last to
+object. We were even promised a few years ago a new style of furniture
+to inaugurate the reign--something to supplant that Louis Dix-neuvieme
+_decor_ which is merely a compromise with the past. But somehow the
+whole thing has fallen through; in this democratic aeon the adjective
+'Edwardian' trips on the tongue; our real dramatists are all Socialists
+or Radicals; our poets and writers Anarchists. Our artists are the only
+conservatives of intellect. Our foreign policy alone can be called
+'Edwardian,' so personal is it to the King. Everything else is a
+compromise; so our time must therefore be known--at least ten years of
+it--as the Lloyd-Georgian period. I can imagine collectors of the future
+struggling for an _alleged_ genuine work of art belonging to this brief
+renaissance, and the disappointment of the dealer on finding that it
+dated a year before the Budget, thereby reducing its value by some
+thousands.
+
+Just as we go to Kneller and Lely for speaking portraits of the men who
+made their age, so I believe our descendants will turn to Max for
+listening likenesses of the present generation. Of all modern artists,
+he alone follows Hamlet's advice. If the mirror is a convex one, that is
+merely the accident of genius, and reflects the malady of the century.
+Other artists have too much eye on the Uffizi and the National Gallery
+(the more modest of them only painting up to the Tate). In Max we have
+one who never harks forward to the future, and is therefore more
+characteristic, more Lloyd-Georgian than any of his peers. Set for one
+moment beside some Rubens' goddess a portrait by Mr. Sargent, and how
+would she be troubled by its beauty? Not in the slightest degree;
+because they are both similar but differing expressions of the same
+genius of painting. The centuries which separate them are historical
+conventions; and in Art, history does not count; aesthetically, time is
+of no consequence. But in the more objective art of caricature, history
+is of some import, and (as Mr. Beerbohm himself admitted about
+photographs) the man limned is of paramount importance. Actual
+resemblance, truthfulness of presentation, criticism of the model become
+legitimate subjects for consideration. Generally speaking, artists long
+since wisely resigned all attempts at catching a likeness, leaving to
+photography an inglorious victory. Mr. Beerbohm, realising this fact,
+seized caricature as a substitute--the consolation, it may be, for a lost
+or neglected talent. It is as though Watts (painter of the soul's prism,
+if ever there was one) had pushed away Ward and Downey from the camera,
+to insert a subtler lens, a more sensitive negative.
+
+* * * *
+
+If, reader, you have ever been to a West-end picture shop, you will have
+suffered some annoyance on looking too attentively at any item in the
+exhibition, by the approach of an officious attendant, who presses you to
+purchase it. He begins by flattery; he felicitates you on your choice of
+the _best_ picture in the room--the one that has been 'universally
+admired by critics and collectors.'
+
+The fact of its not being sold is due (he naively confesses) to its
+rather high price; several offers have been submitted, and if not sold at
+the catalogued amount the artist has promised to consider them; but it is
+very unlikely that the drawing will remain long without a red ticket,
+'_as people come back to town to-morrow_.' There is the stab, the stab
+in the back while you were drinking honey; the tragedy of Corfe Castle
+repeated. _People with_ a capital _P_ in picture-dealing circles does
+not mean what they call the _Hoypolloy_; it means the great ones of the
+earth, the _monde_, the Capulets and Montagues with wealth or rank. You
+have been measured by the revolting attendant. He does not count you
+with them, or you would not be in town to-day; something has escaped you
+in the _Morning Post_, some function to which you were not invited, or of
+which you knew nothing. If you happen to be a Capulet you feel mildly
+amused, and in order to correct the wrong impression and let the
+underling know your name and address you purchase the drawing; for the
+greatest have their weak side. But, if not, and you have simply risen
+from the 'purple of commerce,' you are determined not to lag behind stuck-
+up Society; you will revenge yourself for the thousand injuries of
+Fortunatus; you will deprive him of his prerogative to buy the _best_.
+The purchase is concluded. You go home with your nerves slightly shaken
+from the gloved contest--you go home to face your wife and children,
+wearing a look of wistful inquiry on their irregular upturned faces, as
+when snow lies upon the ground, they scent Christmas, and you look up
+with surprise at the whiteness of the ceiling. Though in private life a
+contributor to the press, in public I used to be one of those importunate
+salesmen.
+
+It was my duty, my pleasurable duty, so to act for Mr. Beerbohm's
+caricatures when exhibited at a fashionable West-end gallery where among
+the visitors I recognised many of his models. I observe that when Mr.
+Beerbohm is a friend of his victim he is generally at his best; that he
+is always excellent and often superb if he is in sympathy with the
+personality of that victim, however brutally he may render it. His
+failures are due to lack of sympathy, and they are often, oddly enough,
+the mildest as caricatures. Fortunately, Mr. Beerbohm selects chiefly
+celebrities who are either personal friends or those for whom he must
+have great admiration and sympathy. By a divine palmistry he estimates
+them with exquisite perception. I noted that those who were annoyed with
+their own caricature either did not know Mr. Beerbohm or disliked his
+incomparable writings; and, curiously enough, he misses the likeness in
+people he either does not know personally or whom you suspect he
+dislikes. I am glad now of the opportunity of being sincere, because it
+was part of my function as salesman to agree with what every one said,
+whether in praise or in blame.
+
+And let me reproduce a conversation with one of the visitors. It is
+illustrative:--
+
+[SCENE: _The Carfax Gallery; rather empty; early morning: Caricatures by
+Max Beerbohm; entrance one shilling. Enter_ DISTINGUISHED CLIENT, _takes
+catalogue, but does not consult it. No celebrity ever consults a
+catalogue in a modern picture-gallery. This does not apply to ladies,
+however distinguished, who conscientiously begin at number one and read
+out from the catalogue the title of each picture_. SHOPMAN _in
+attendance_.]
+
+D. C. (_glancing round_). Yes; how very clever they are.
+
+SHOPMAN. Yes; they are very amusing.
+
+D. C. I suppose you have had heaps of People. What a pity Max cannot
+draw!
+
+SHOPMAN. Yes; it _is_ a great pity.
+
+D. C. (_examines drawing; after a pause_). But he _can_ draw. Look at
+that one of Althorp.
+
+SHOPMAN (_trying to look intelligent_): Yes; that certainly is well
+drawn.
+
+D. C. (_pointing to photograph of Paris inserted in Mr. Claude Lowther's
+caricature_). And how extraordinary that is. It is like one of Muirhead
+Bone's street scenes. He does street scenes, doesn't he?
+
+SHOPMAN. Yes; or one of Mr. Joseph Pennell's.
+
+D. C. (_after a pause_). What a pity he never gets the likeness. That's
+very bad of Arthur Balfour.
+
+SHOPMAN. Yes; it is a great pity. No; that's not at all a good one of
+Mr. Balfour.
+
+D. C. (_pointing to Mr. Shaw's photograph inserted in caricature_). But
+he _has_ got the likeness there. By Jove! it's nearly as good as a
+photograph.
+
+SHOPMAN (_examining photograph as if he had never seen it;
+enthusiastically_). It's _almost_ as good as a photograph.
+
+D. C. (_pointing with umbrella to Lord Weardale_). Of course, that's
+Rosebery?
+
+SHOPMAN (_nervously_): Y-e-s. (_Brightly changing subject_.) What do
+you think of Mr. Sargent's?
+
+D. C. (_now worked up_). Oh! that's very good. Yes; that's the best of
+all. I see it's sold. I should have bought that one if it hadn't been
+sold. I wish Max would do a caricature of (_describes a possible
+caricature_). Tell him I suggested it; he knows me quite well (_glancing
+round_). He really is tremendous. Are they going to be published?
+
+SHOPMAN. Yes; by Methuen & Co. (_Hastily going over to new-comer_.)
+Yes, madam, that is Mr. Arthur Balfour; it's considered the _best_
+caricature in the exhibition--the likeness is so particularly striking;
+and as a pure piece of draughtsmanship it is certainly the finest drawing
+in the room. No; that's not so good of Lord Althorp, though it _was_ the
+first to sell. (_Turning to another client_.) Yes, sir; he is Mr.
+Beerbohm Tree's half-brother.
+
+(1907.)
+
+_To_ MRS. BEERBOHM.
+
+
+
+
+THE ETHICS OF REVIEWING.
+
+
+The 'Acropolis,' a review of literature, science, art, politics, society,
+and the drama, is, as every one knows, our leading literary weekly. Its
+original promoters decided on its rather eccentric title with a symbolism
+now outmoded. The 'Acropolis' was to be impregnable to outside
+contributors, and the editor was always to be invisible. All the vile
+and secret arts of reclame and puffery were to find no place in its
+immaculate pages. One afternoon some time ago a number of gentlemen,
+more or less responsible for the production of the 'Acropolis,' were
+seated round the fire in the smoking-room of a certain club. For the
+last hour they had been discussing with some warmth the merits of signed
+or unsigned articles and the reviewing of books. A tall, good-looking
+man, who pretended to be unpopular, was advocating the anonymous. 'There
+is something so cowardly about a signed article,' he was saying. 'It is
+nearly as bad as insulting a man in public, when there is no redress
+except to call for the police. And that is ridiculous. If I am slated
+by an anonymous writer, it is always in my power to pay no attention,
+whereas if the slate is signed, I am obliged to take notice of some kind.
+I must either deny the statements, often at a great sacrifice of truth,
+or if I assault the writer there is always the risk of his being
+physically stronger than I am. No; anonymous attack is the only weapon
+for gentlemen.'
+
+'To leave for a moment the subject of anonymity,' said an eminent
+novelist, 'I think the great curse of all criticism is that of slating
+any book at all. Think of the unfortunate young man or woman first
+entering the paths of literature, and the great pain it causes them. You
+should encourage them, and not damp their enthusiasm.'
+
+'My dear fellow,' said North, 'I encourage no one, and writers should
+never have any feelings at all. They can't have any, or they would not
+bore the public by writing.'
+
+The discussion was getting heated when the editor, Rivers, interfered.
+
+'My dear North,' he began, addressing the first speaker, 'your eloquent
+advocacy of the anonymous reminds me of a curious incident that occurred
+many years ago when I was assistant-editor of the "Acropolis." The facts
+were never known to the public, and my old chief, Curtis, met with much
+misplaced abuse in consequence. There were reasons for which he could
+never break silence; but it happened so long ago that I cannot be
+betraying any confidence. All of you have heard of, and some of you have
+seen, Quentin Burrage, whose articles practically made the "Acropolis"
+what it now is. His opinion on all subjects was looked forward to by the
+public each week. Young poetasters would tremble when their time should
+come to be pulverised by the scathing epigrams which fell from his
+anonymous pen. Essayists, novelists, statesmen were pale for weeks until
+a review appeared that would make or mar their fame. In the various
+literary coteries of London no one knew that Quentin Burrage was the
+slater who thrilled, irritated, or amused them, though he was of course
+recognised as an occasional contributor. The secret was well kept. He
+was practically critical censor of London for ten years. A whole school
+of novelists ceased to exist after three of his notices in the
+"Acropolis." The names of painters famous before his time you will not
+find in the largest dictionaries now. Four journalists committed suicide
+after he had burlesqued their syntax, and two statesmen resigned office
+owing to his masterly examination of their policy. We were all much
+shocked when a popular actor set fire to his theatre on a first night
+because Curtis and his dramatic critic refused to take champagne and
+chicken between the acts. This may give you some idea of Burrage's power
+in London for a decade of the last century.
+
+'One day a curious change came over him. It was Monday when he and I
+were in the office receiving our instructions. Curtis, after going over
+some books, handed to Quentin a vellum-covered volume of poems, saying
+with a grim smile: "There are some more laurels for you to hash."
+
+'An expression of pain spread over Quentin's serene features.
+
+'"I'll see what I can do," he said wearily. But his curious manner
+struck both Curtis and myself. The book was a collection of very
+indifferent verse which already enjoyed a wide popularity. I cannot tell
+you the title, for that is a secret not my own. It was early work of one
+of our most esteemed poets who for some time was regarded by _his
+friends_ as the natural successor to Mr. Alfred Austin. The "Acropolis"
+had not spoken. We were sometimes behindhand in our reviews. The public
+waited to learn if the new poet was really worth anything. You may
+imagine the general surprise when a week afterwards there appeared a
+flamingly favourable review of the poems. It made a perfect sensation
+and was quoted largely. The public became quite conceited with its
+foresight. The reputation of the poet was assured. "Snarley-ow must be
+dead," some one remarked in my hearing at the club, and members tried to
+pump me. One day a telegram came from Curtis asking me to go down to his
+house at once. A request from him was a command. I found him in a state
+of some excitement, his manner a little artificial. "My dear Rivers, I
+suppose you think me mad. The geese have got into the Capitol at last."
+Without correcting his classical allusion, I said: "Where is Burrage?"
+"He is coming here presently. Of course, I glanced at the thing in
+proof, and thought it a splendid joke, but reading it this morning, I
+have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with Burrage. You
+remember his agitated manner the other day?" I was about to reply, when
+Burrage was announced. His haggard and pale appearance startled both of
+us. "My dear Burrage, what _is_ the matter with you?" we exclaimed
+simultaneously. He gave a sickly nervous smile. "Of course you have
+sent to ask me about that review. Well, I have changed my opinions, I
+have altered. I think we should praise everything or ignore everything.
+To slate a book, good or bad, is taking the bread out of a fellow's
+mouth. I have been the chief sinner in this way, and I am going to be
+the first reformer." "Not in my paper," said Curtis, angrily.
+
+'Then we all fell to discussing that old question with all the warmth
+that North and the rest of you were doing just now. We lost our tempers
+and Curtis ended the matter by saying: "I tell you what it is, Burrage,
+if you ever bring out a book yourself I'll send it to you to review. You
+can praise it as much as you like. But don't let this occur again, with
+any one else's work." Burrage turned quite white, I thought, and Curtis,
+noticing the effect of his words, went up and taking him by the hand,
+added more kindly, "My poor Burrage, are you quite well? I never saw you
+in so morbid a state before. All this is mere sentimentality--so
+different from your usual manly spirit. Go away for a change, to
+Brighton or Eastbourne, and you must come back with that wholesome
+contempt for your contemporaries that characterises most of your
+writings. I'll look over the matter this time, and we'll say no more
+about it." And here Curtis was so overcome that he dashed a tear from
+his eye. A few hours later I saw Burrage off to the sea. He was very
+strange in his manner. "I'll never be quite the same again. If I only
+dared to tell you," he said. And the train rolled out of the station.
+
+'Some weeks later I was again in the editorial room and Curtis showed me
+a curiously bound book, printed on hand-made paper, entitled
+_Prejudices_. I had already seen it. "That book," Curtis remarked,
+"ought to have been noticed long ago. I was keeping it for Burrage when
+he gets better. Shall I send it to him?"
+
+'_Prejudices_ for some weeks had been the talk of London. It was a
+series of very ineffectual essays on different subjects. Sight, Colour,
+Sound, Art, Letters, and Religion were all dealt with in that highly
+glowing and original manner now termed _Style_. It was delightfully
+unwholesome and extraordinarily silly. Young persons had already begun
+to get foolish over it, and leaving the more stimulating pages of Mr.
+Pater they hailed the work as an earnest of the English Renaissance.
+Instead of stroking _Marius the Epicurean_ they fondled a copy of
+_Prejudices_. I prophesied that Burrage would vindicate himself over it
+and that the public would hear very little of _Prejudices_ in a year's
+time. The book was sent; and the first part of my prophecy was
+fulfilled, Burrage spared neither the author nor his admirers. The
+pedantry, the affected style, the cheap hedonism were all pitilessly
+exposed. London, rocked with laughter. Some of the admirers, with the
+generosity of youth, nobly came to the rescue. They made a paper war and
+talked of "The cruelty and cowardice of the attack," "The stab in the
+dark," "Journalistic marauding," "Disappointed author turned critic." The
+slate was one that I am bound to say was _killing_ in both senses of the
+word. A book less worthless could never have lived under it. It was one
+of those decisive reviews of all ages. _Prejudices_ was withdrawn by the
+publisher fearful of damaging his prestige. Yet it was never looked on
+as a rarity, and fell at book auctions for a shilling, for some time
+after, amidst general tittering. The daily papers meanwhile devoted
+columns to the discussion. I telegraphed to Burrage in cipher and
+congratulated him, knowing that secrets leak out sometimes through the
+post office. I was surprised to get no reply for some weeks, but Curtis
+said he was lying low while the excitement lasted. One day I got a
+letter simply saying, "For God's sake come. I am very ill." I went at
+once. How shall I describe to you the pitiful condition I found him in?
+The doctor told me he was suffering from incipient tuberculosis due to
+cerebral excitement and mental trouble. When I went in to see him he was
+lying in bed, pale and emaciated as a corpse, surrounded by friends and
+relations. He asked every one to go out of the room; he had something of
+importance to say to me. I then learned what you have divined already.
+The anonymous author of _Prejudices_ was no other than Quentin Burrage
+himself. Or rather not himself, but the other self of which neither I
+nor Curtis knew anything. He had been living a double existence. As a
+writer of trashy essays and verse, an incomplete sentimentalist
+surrounded by an admiring band of young ladies and gentlemen, he was not
+recognised as the able critic and the anonymous slater of the
+"Acropolis."
+
+'When he first received his own book for review he recalled the words of
+Curtis. He must be honest, impartial, and just. No one knew better the
+faults of _Prejudices_. As he began to write, the old spirit of the
+slater came over him. His better self conquered. He forgot for the
+moment that he was the author. He hardly realised the sting of his own
+sarcasms even when he saw them in proof. It was not until it appeared,
+and the papers were full of the controversy, that the _cruelty_ and
+_unfairness_ of the attack dawned on him. I was much shocked at the
+confession, and the extraordinary duplicity of Burrage, who had been
+living a lie for the last ten years. His denunciation of poor Curtis
+pained me. I would have upbraided him, but his tortured face and hacking
+cough made me relent. I need not prolong the painful story. Burrage
+never recovered. He sank into galloping consumption, only aggravated by
+a broken heart. I saw him on his deathbed at Rome. He was attended by
+Strange, and died in his arms. His last words to me were, "Rivers, tell
+Curtis I forgive him."
+
+'We buried in the Protestant cemetery near Keats and Shelley one whose
+name was written in hot water. His sad death provoked a good deal of
+comment, as you may suppose. Strange has often promised to write his
+life. But he could never get through _Prejudices_, and I pointed out to
+him that you can hardly write an author's life without reading one of his
+works, even though he did die in your arms. That is the worst of
+literary martyrs with a few brilliant exceptions: their works are
+generally dull.'
+
+'Is that all?' asked North.
+
+'That is all, and I hope you understand the moral.'
+
+'Perfectly; but your reminiscences have too much construction, my dear
+Rivers.'
+
+'The story is perfectly true for all that,' remarked the Editor, drily.
+
+
+
+
+A LITTLE DOCTORED FAUST. A PROLOGUE.
+
+
+'The version of _Faust_ which Mr. Stephen Phillips is contemplating will,
+it is interesting to learn from the author, be a "compact drama," of
+which the spectacular embellishment will form no part. In Mr. Phillips's
+view the story is in itself so strong and so rich in all the elements
+that make for dramatic effectiveness that to treat the subject as one for
+elaborate scenic display would be to diminish the direct appeal of a
+great tragedy. "First let me say," said Mr. Stephen Phillips, "how
+gladly I approach a task which will bring me again into association with
+Mr. George Alexander, whose admirable treatment of _Paolo and Francesco_,
+you will no doubt remember. In the version of _Faust_ which I am going
+to prepare there will be nothing spectacular, nothing to overshadow or
+intrude upon an immortal theme. As to how I shall treat the story, and
+as to the form in which it will be written, I am not yet sure--it may be
+a play in blank verse, or in prose with lyrics . . ." Mr. Phillips added
+that he had also in view a play on the subject of _Harold_."--_The
+Tribune_.
+
+_Scene: The British Museum_.
+
+SIDNEY COLVIN. Ah! my dear Stephen, when they told me Phillips
+Was waiting in my study, I imagined
+That it was Claude, whom I have been expecting.
+I have arranged that you shall have this room
+All to yourself and friends. Now I must leave you.
+I have to go and speak to Campbell Dodgson
+About some prints we've recently acquired.
+
+STEPHEN PHILLIPS. How can I ever thank you? Love to Binyon!
+
+[COLVIN _goes out_.
+
+_Enter_ Mr. GEORGE ALEXANDER, GOETHE, MARLOWE, GOUNOD.
+
+ALEXANDER (_from force of habit_). I always told you he was reasonable.
+
+GOETHE. Well, I consent. Mein Gott! how colossal
+You English are! 'Tis nigh impossible
+For poets to refuse you anything,
+And German thought beneath some English shade--
+_Unter den Linden_, as we say at home--
+Sounds really quite as well on British soil.
+Our good friend Marlowe hardly seems so pleased.
+
+MARLOWE. Oh, Goethe! cease these frivolous remarks.
+Think you that I, who knew Elizabeth,
+And tasted all the joys of literature
+And played the dawn to Shakespeare's larger day,
+And heralded a mighty line of verse
+With half-a-dozen mighty lines my own,
+Am feeling well?
+
+GOUNOD (_brightening_). Ah! Monsieur Wells,
+Auteur d'une histoire fine et romanesque
+Traduit par Davray; il a des idees
+C'est une chose rare la-bas . . .
+
+STEPHEN PHILLIPS. He does not speak of Huysmans; 'tis myself.
+I thank you, gentlemen, with all my heart;
+I thank you, gentlemen, with all my soul;
+I thank you, sirs, with all my soul and strength.
+So for your leave much thanks. You know my weakness:
+I love to be at peace with all the past.
+The present and the future I can manage;
+The stirrup of posterity may dangle
+Against the heaving flanks of Pegasus.
+I feel my spurs against the saucy mare
+And Alexander turned Bucephalus.
+
+MARLOWE. Neigh! Neigh! though you have told us what you are,
+And we have witnessed Nero several times,
+You do not tell us of this wretched Faustus,
+Who must be damned in any case, I fear.
+
+S. P. Of course, I treat you as material
+On which to work; but then I simplify
+And purify the story for our stage.
+The English stage is nothing if not pure.
+For instance, we will not allow _Salome_.
+So in Act II. of _Faust_ I represent
+The marriage feast of beauteous Margaret;
+Act I. I get from Goethe, III. from Marlowe,
+And Gounod's music fills the gaps in mine.
+Margaret, of course, will never come to grief.
+She only gets a separation order.
+By the advice of Plowden magistrate,
+She undertakes to wean Euphorion,
+Who in his bounding habit symbolises
+The future glories of the English empire.
+As the production must not cost too much,
+Harker, Hawes Craven, Hann are relegated
+To a back place. It is a compact drama,
+Of which spectacular embellishment
+Will form no part. The story is so strong,
+So rich in all the elements that make
+A drama suitable for Alexander,
+That scenery, if necessary to Tree,
+Shall not intrude on this immortal theme.
+
+GOETHE. Pyramidal! My friend, but you are splendid.
+Now, have you shown the manuscript to Colvin?
+
+MARLOWE. He is a scholar, and a ripe and good one,
+And far too tolerant of modern poets.
+
+ALEXANDER. One of your lines strike my familiar spirit.
+Surely, that does not come from Stephen Phillips.
+
+MARLOWE. No matter; I may quote from whom I will.
+Shakespeare himself was not immaculate,
+And borrowed freely from a barren past.
+
+GOETHE. What thinks Herr Sidney Colvin of your work?
+
+S. P. That he will tell you when he sees it played.
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+
+_Scene: Faust's Studio_.
+
+SERVANT. Well, if you have no further use for me,
+I will go make our preparation.
+
+FAUST. If anybody calls, say I am out;
+I must have time to see how I will act.
+As to the form in which I shall be written,
+I must decide whether in prose or verse.
+My thoughts I'll bend. Give me at once the _Times_:
+Walkley I always find inspiriting--
+And really I learn much about the drama
+(Even the German drama) from his pen,
+More curious than that of Paracelsus.
+(_Reads_) 'Sic vos non vobis, Bernard Shaw might say,
+Dieu et mon droit. Ich dien. Et taceat
+Femina in ecclesia. Ellen Terry,
+La plus belle femme de toutes les femmes
+Du monde.' Archer, I have observed,
+Writes no more for the World, but for himself.
+Then I forgot; he's writing for the _Leader_,
+That highly independent Liberal paper.
+
+[FAUST _muses_. _Bell heard_.
+
+The Elixir of Life, is it a play
+Which runs a thousand nights? Is it a dream
+Precipitated into some alembic
+Or glass retort by Ex-ray Lankester?
+
+_Enter_ SERVANT.
+
+SERVANT. A gentleman has called.
+
+FAUST. Say I am out.
+
+SERVANT. He will take no denial.
+
+FAUST. Show him in.
+Most probably 'tis Herbert Beerbohm Tree,
+Who long has planned a play of Doctor Faustus.
+
+_Enter_ MEPHISTOPHELES.
+
+MEPHISTOPHELES. Ah! my dear Doctor, here we are again!
+Micawber-like, I never will desert you.
+How do you feel? Your house I see myself
+In perfect order. Ah! how much has past
+Since those Lyceum days when you and I
+Climbed up the Brocken on Walpurgis night.
+That times have changed I realise myself;
+No longer through the chimney I descend;
+I enter like a super from the side.
+Widowers' Houses dramas have become;
+Morals and sentiment and Clement Scott
+No more seem adjuncts of the English stage.
+
+FAUST. Oh, Mephistopheles, you come in time
+To save the English drama from a deadlock!
+Like Mahmud's coffin hung 'twixt Heaven and Earth,
+It falters up to verse and down to prose.
+Tell us, then, how to act, how consummate
+The aspirations of our Stephen Phillips!
+
+MEPHISTO. Ah, Alexander Faustus! young as ever,
+Still unabashed by Paolo and Francesca,
+You long for plays with literary motives,
+Plots oft attempted both in prose and rhyme.
+
+FAUST. As ever, you are timid and old-fashioned.
+
+MEPHISTO. Hark you! One thing I know above all others,
+The English drama of the century past.
+Though English critics have consigned to me
+The plays of Ibsen, Maeterlinck, and Shaw,
+And Wilde's _Salome_, none has ever reached me.
+Back to their native land they must have gone,
+Or else you have them here in Germany.
+Only to me come down real British plays,
+The mid-Victorian twaddle, the false gems
+Which on the stretched forefinger of oblivion
+Glitter a moment, and then perish paste.
+
+FAUST (_drily_). Well, if I learn of any critic's death
+Leaving a vacant place upon the Press,
+You'll hear from me; meanwhile, Mephisto mine,
+As we must needs play out our little play,
+Whom would you cast for Margaret, _alias_ Gretchen?
+Kindly sketch out an inexpensive _Faust_,
+Modelled on the Vedrenne and Barker style
+Once much in favour at the English Court.
+
+MEPHISTO. The stage is now an auditorium,
+And all the audiences are amateurs,
+First-nighters at the bottom of their heart.
+What do they care for drama in the least?
+All that they need are complimentary stalls,
+To know the leading actor, to be round
+At dress rehearsals, or behind the scenes,
+To hear the row the actor-manager
+Had with the author or the leading lady,
+Then to recount the story at the Garrick,
+Where, lingering lovingly on kippered lies,
+They babble over chestnuts and their punch
+And stale round-table jests of years ago.
+
+FAUST. So Mephistopheles is growing old!
+Kindly omit your stage philosophy,
+And tell me all your plans about the play.
+
+MEPHISTO. First we must make you young and fresh as paint,
+Philters and elixirs are out of date.
+A week in London--that is what you want;
+London Society is our objective.
+There you will find a not unlikely Gretchen,
+For actresses are all the rage just now;
+Countesses quarrel over Edna May,
+And Mrs. Patrick Campbell is received
+In the best houses. I shall introduce you
+As a philosopher from Tubingen.
+A sort of Nordau, no? Then Doctor Reich--
+Advocates polyandry, children suffrage--
+One man, one pianola; the usual thing
+That will secure success: here is a card
+For Thursday next--Lady Walpurge 'At Home'
+From nine till twelve--a really charming hostess.
+Her ladyship is intellectual,
+The husband rich, dishonest, a collector
+Of _objets d'art_, especially old masters.
+He got his title for his promises
+To England in the war; financed the raid,
+A patriot millionaire within whose veins
+Imperial pints of German-Jewish blood
+Must make the English think imperially,
+And rather bear with all the ills they have
+Than fly to others that they know not of.
+
+FAUST. Excellent plan! Except at Covent Garden,
+I've hardly been in England since the 'eighties.
+
+
+
+Act II.
+
+
+_Scene: Brocken House, Park Lane_.
+
+_The top of the Grand Staircase_. LORD _and_ LADY WALPURGE _receiving
+their guests. The greatest taste is shown in the decorations, which are
+lent for the occasion of the play free of charge, owing to the deserved
+popularity of Mr. George Alexander. Furniture supplied by Waring,
+selected by Mr. Percy Macquoid; Old Masters by Agnew & Son, P. & D.
+Colnaghi, Dowdeswell & Dowdeswell; Wigs by Clarkson. A large,
+full-length Reynolds, seen above the well of staircase_; R. _a
+Gainsborough_, L. _a Hoppner. The party is not very smart, rather
+intellectual and plutocratic; well-known musicians and artists in group_
+R., _and second-rate literary people_ L. _An Irish peer and a member of
+the White Rose League are the only 'Society' present. There are no
+actors or actresses_. FAUST, _who has aged considerably since the
+Prologue, is an obvious failure, and is seen talking to a lady
+journalist_. MEPHISTOPHELES, _disguised as a Protectionist Member of
+Parliament, is in earnest conversation with_ LORD WALPURGE. FOOTMAN
+_announcing the guests: The Bishop of Hereford, Mr. Maldonado, Mr. Andrew
+Undershaft, Mr. Harold Hodge, Mrs. Gorringe, Mr. and Mrs. Aubrey
+Tanqueray, &c_.
+
+LADY WALPURGE (_archly_). Ah, Mr. Tanqueray, you never forwarded me my
+photographs; it is nearly three weeks ago since I sent you a cheque for
+them.
+
+TANQUERAY. Labby has been poisoning your mind against me. You shall
+have a proof to-morrow!
+
+FOOTMAN. Mr. Gillow Waring.
+
+LADY WALPURGE. I was so afraid you were not coming. My husband thought
+you would give us the slip.
+
+WARING. How charming your decorations are! You must give me some ideas
+for my new yacht, you have such perfect taste.
+
+MALDONADO. Walpurge! what will you take for that Reynolds? Or will you
+swap it for my Velasquez?
+
+WALPURGE. My dear Maldo, I always do my deals through--
+
+FOOTMAN. Mr. Walter Dowdeswell.
+
+WALPURGE. Through Dowdeswell and Dowdeswell; and you, my dear Maldo, if
+you want to get rid of your Velasquez, ought to join the National Art
+Collections Fund, or go and see--
+
+FOOTMAN. Mr. Lockett Agnew. 'Er 'Ighness the Princess Swami.
+
+_Enter the_ PRINCESS SALOME.
+
+LADY JOURNALIST. Fancy having that woman here. She is not recognised in
+any decent society, she is nothing but an adventuress; talks such bad
+French, too. Have you ever seen her, Doctor Faustus?
+
+FAUST. Yes, I have met her very often in Germany. Though the Emperor
+would not receive her at first, she is much admired in Europe.
+
+LADY JOURNALIST (_hedging_). I wonder where she gets her frocks? They
+must be worth a good deal.
+
+FAUST. From Ricketts and Shannon, if you want to know.
+
+LADY JOURNALIST. Dear Doctor, you know everything! Let me see: Ricketts
+and Shannon is that new place in Regent Street, rather like Lewis and
+Allenby's, I suppose?
+
+FAUST. Yes, only different.
+
+IRISH PEER (_to_ FAUST). Do you think Lady Walpurge will ever get into
+Society?
+
+FAUST. Not if she gives her guests such wretched coffee.
+
+LADY JOURNALIST. It's nothing to her tea. I've never had such bad tea.
+Besides, she cannot get actors or actresses to come to her house.
+
+LADY WALPURGE (_overhearing_). I expect _Sir Herbert and Lady Beerbohm
+Tree_ here to-night, and perhaps VIOLA. (_Sensation_.)
+
+[_Enter, hurriedly_, MR. C. T. H. HELMSLEY.] Mr. Alexander, a moment
+with you! A most important telegram has just arrived.
+
+FAUST (_reading_). 'Handed in at Greba Castle, 10.15. Reply paid. Do
+not close with Stephen Phillips until you have seen my play of
+_Gretchen_, same subject, five acts and twelve tableaux.--HALL CAINE.'
+Where is Mr. Stephen Phillips? [STEPHEN PHILLIPS _advances_.] My dear
+Phillips, I think we will put up _Harold Hodge_ instead. 'The Last of
+the Anglo-Saxon Editors,' by the last Anglo-Saxon poet.
+
+CURTAIN.
+
+(1906.)
+
+_To_ W. BARCLAY SQUIRE, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+SHAVIANS FROM SUPERMAN.
+
+
+DONNA ANA _has vanished to sup her man at the Savoy; the_ DEVIL _and the_
+STATUE _are descending through trap, when a voice is heard crying, 'Stop,
+stop'; the mechanism is arrested and there appears in the empyrean_ MR.
+CHARLES HAZELWOOD SHANNON, _the artist, with halo_.
+
+THE DEVIL (_while Shannon regains his breath_). Really, Mr. Shannon,
+this is a great pleasure and _quite_ unexpected. I am truly honoured. No
+quarrel I hope with the International? Pennell quite well? How is the
+Whistler memorial getting on?
+
+SHANNON. So-so. To be quite frank I had no time to prepare for Heaven,
+and earth has become intolerable for me. (_Seeing the Statue_.) Is that
+a Rodin you have there?
+
+THE DEVIL. Oh! I forgot, let me introduce you. Commander! Mr. C. H.
+Shannon, a most distinguished painter, the English Velasquez, the Irish
+Titian, the Scotch Giorgione, all in one. Mr. Shannon, his Excellency
+the Commander.
+
+SHANNON. Delighted, I am sure. The real reason for my coming here is
+that I could stand Ricketts no longer. Ricketts the artist I adore.
+Ricketts the causeur is delightful. Ricketts the enemy, entrancing.
+Ricketts the friend, one of the best. But Ricketts, when designing
+dresses for the Court, Trench, and other productions, is not very
+amiable.
+
+THE STATUE (_sighing_). Ah! yes, I know Ricketts.
+
+THE DEVIL (_sighing_). We all know Ricketts. Never mind, he shall not
+come here. I shall give special orders to Charon. Come on to the trap
+and we can start for the palace.
+
+SHANNON. Ah! yes. I heard you were moving to the Savoy. Think it will
+be a success?
+
+[_They descend and no reply is heard. Whisk! Mr. Frank Richardson on
+this occasion does not appear; void and emptiness; the fireproof curtain
+may be lowered here in accordance with the County Council regulations;
+moving portraits of deceased, and living dramatic critics can be thrown
+without risk of ignition on the curtain by magic lantern_. _The point of
+this travesty will be entirely lost to those who have not read 'Man and
+Superman.' It is the first masterpiece in the English literature of the
+twentieth century. It is also necessary to have read the dramatic
+criticisms in the daily press, and to have some acquaintance with the
+Court management, the Stage Society, and certain unlicensed plays; and to
+know that Mr. Ricketts designs scenery. This being thoroughly explained,
+the Curtain may rise; discovering a large Gothic Hall, decorated in the
+1880 taste. Allegories by Watts on the wall_--'_Time cutting the corns
+of Eternity,' 'Love whistling down the ear of Life,' 'Youth catching
+Crabs,' &c. Windows by Burne-Jones and Morris. A Peacock Blue Hungarian
+Band playing music on Dolmetsch instruments by Purcell, Byrde, Bull,
+Bear, Palestrina, and Wagner, &c. Various well-known people crowd the
+Stage. Among the_ LIVING _may be mentioned Mr. George Street; Mr. Max
+Beerbohm and his brother; Mr. Albert Rothenstein and his brother, &c. The
+company is intellectual and artistic; not in any way smart. The Savile
+and Athenaeum Clubs are well represented, but not the Garrick, the
+Gardenia, nor any of the establishments in the vicinity of Leicester
+Square. The Princess Salome is greeting some of the arrivals_--_The
+Warden of Keble, The President of Magdalen Coll., Oxford, and others--who
+stare at her in a bewildered fashion_.
+
+THE DEVIL. Silence, please, ladies and gentlemen, for his Excellency the
+Commander. (_A yellowish pallor moves over the audience; effect by
+Gordon Craig_.)
+
+THE STATUE. It was my intention this evening to make a few observations
+on flogging in the Navy, Vaccination, the Censor, Vivisection, the Fabian
+Society, the Royal Academy, Compound Chinese Labour, Style, Simple
+Prohibition, Vulgar Fractions, and other kindred subjects. But as I
+opened the paper this morning, my eye caught these headlines: 'Future of
+the House of Lords,' 'Mr. Edmund Gosse at home,' 'The Nerves of Lord
+Northcliffe,' 'Interview with Mr. Winston Churchill,' 'Reported
+Indisposition of Miss Edna May.' A problem was thus presented to me.
+Will I, shall I, ought I to speak to my friends _here_--ahem!--and
+elsewhere, on the subject about which they came to hear me speak.
+(_Applause_.) No. I said; the bounders must be disappointed; otherwise
+they will know what to expect. You must always surprise your audience.
+When it has been advertised (sufficiently) that I am going to speak about
+the truth, for example, the audience comes here expecting me to speak
+about fiction. The only way to surprise them is to speak the truth and
+that I always do. Nothing surprises English people more than truth; they
+don't like it; they don't pay any attention to those (such as my friend
+Mr. H. G. Wells and myself) who _trade_ in truth; but they listen and go
+away saying, 'How very whimsical and paradoxical it all is,' and 'What a
+clever adventurer the fellow is, to be sure.' 'That was a good joke
+about duty and beauty being the same thing'--that was a joke I did _not_
+make. It is not my kind of joke--but when people begin ascribing to you
+the jokes of other people, you become a living--I was going to say
+statue--but I mean a living classic.
+
+THE DEVIL. I thought you disliked anything classic?
+
+THE STATUE. Ahem! only _dead_ classics--especially when they are
+employed to protect romanticism. Dead classics are the protective
+tariffs put on all realism and truth by bloated idealism. In a country
+of plutocrats, idealism keeps out truth: idealism is more expensive, and
+therefore more in demand. In America, there are more plutocrats, and
+therefore more idealists . . . as Mr. Pember Reeves has pointed out in
+New Zealand . . .
+
+THE DEVIL. But I say, is this drama?
+
+THE STATUE. Certainly not. It is a discussion taking place at a
+theatre. It is no more drama than a music-hall entertainment, or a comic
+opera, or a cinematograph, or a hospital operation, all of which things
+take place in theatres. But surely it is more entertaining to come to a
+discussion charmingly mounted by Ricketts--discussion too, in which every
+one knows what he is going to say--than to flaccid plays in which the
+audience always knows what the actors _are_ going to say better often
+than the actors. The sort of balderdash which Mr. --- serves up to us
+for plays.
+
+THE DEVIL (_peevish and old-fashioned_). I wish you would define drama.
+
+HANKIN (_advancing_). Won't you have tea, Commander? It's not bad tea.
+
+THE STATUE. I was afraid you were going to talk idealism.
+
+HANKIN (_aside_). Excuse my interrupting, but I want you to be
+particularly nice to the Princess Salome. You know she was jilted by the
+Censor. She has brought her music.
+
+THE DEVIL. You might introduce her to Mrs. Warren. But I am afraid the
+Princess has taken rather too much upon herself this evening.
+
+THE STATUE. Yes, she has taken too much; I am sure she has taken too
+much.
+
+A JOURNALIST. Is that the Princess Salome who has Mexican opals in her
+teeth, and red eyebrows and green hair, and curious rock-crystal breasts?
+
+THE DEVIL. Yes, that is the Princess Salome.
+
+SHANNON. I know the Princess quite well. Ricketts makes her frocks.
+Shall I ask her to dance?
+
+THE DEVIL. Yes, anything to distract her attention from the guests.
+These artistic English people are so easily shocked. They don't
+understand Strauss, nor indeed anything until it is quite out of date. I
+want to make Hell at least as attractive as it is painted; a _place_ as
+well as a _condition_ within the meaning of the Act. Full of wit,
+beauty, pleasure, freedom--
+
+THE STATUE. Ugh--ugh.
+
+SHANNON. Will you dance for us, Princess?
+
+SALOME. Anything for you, dear Mr. Shannon, only my ankles are a little
+sore to-night. How is dear Ricketts? I want new dresses so badly.
+
+SHANNON. I suppose by this time he is in Heaven. But won't you dance
+just to make things go? And then the Commander will lecture on super-
+maniacs later on!
+
+SALOME. Senor Diavolo, what will you give me if I dance to-night?
+
+THE DEVIL. Anything you like, Salome. I swear by the dramatic critics.
+
+HANKIN (_correcting_). You mean the Styx.
+
+THE DEVIL. Same thing. Dance without any further nonsense, Salome.
+Forget that you are in England. This is an unlicensed house.
+
+[SALOME _dances the dance of the Seven Censors_.
+
+THE DEVIL (_applauding_). She is charming. She is quite charming.
+Salome, what shall I do for you? You who are like a purple patch in some
+one else's prose. You who are like a black patch on some one else's
+face. You are like an Imperialist in a Radical Cabinet. You are like a
+Tariff Reformer in a Liberal-Unionist Administration. You are like the
+Rokeby Velasquez in St. Paul's Cathedral. What can I do for you who are
+fairer than--
+
+SALOME. This sort of thing has been tried on me before. Let us come to
+business. I want Mr. Redford's head on a four-wheel cab.
+
+THE DEVIL. No, not that. You must not ask that. I will give you
+Walkley's head. He has one of the best heads. He is not ignorant. He
+really knows what he is talking about.
+
+SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on a four-wheel cab.
+
+THE DEVIL. Salome, listen to me. Be reasonable. Do not interrupt me. I
+will give you William Archer's head. He is charming--a cultivated,
+liberal-minded critic. He is too liberal. He admires Stephen Phillips.
+I will give you his dear head if you release me from my oath.
+
+SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on the top of a four-wheel cab.
+Remember your oath!
+
+THE DEVIL. I remember I swore _at_--I mean _by_--the dramatic critics.
+Well, I am offering them to you. Exquisite and darling Salome, I will
+give you the head of Max Beerbohm. It is unusually large, but it is full
+of good things. What a charming ornament for your mantelpiece! You will
+be in the movement. How every one will envy you! People will call upon
+you who never used to call. Others will send you invitations. You will
+at last get into English society.
+
+SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on the top of a four-wheel cab.
+
+THE DEVIL. Salome, come hither. Have you ever looked at the _Daily
+Mirror_? Only in the _Daily Mirror_ should one look. For it tells the
+truth sometimes. Well, I will give you the head of Hamilton Fyfe. He is
+my best friend. No critic is so fond of the drama as Hamilton Fyfe.
+(_Huskily_.) Salome, I will give you W. L. Courtney's head. I will give
+you all their heads.
+
+SALOME. I have the scalps of most critics. I want Mr. Redford's head on
+a four-wheel cab.
+
+THE DEVIL. Salome! You do not know what you ask. Mr. Redford is a kind
+of religion. He represents the Lord Chamberlain. You know the dear Lord
+Chamberlain. You would not harm one of his servants, especially when
+they are not insured. It would be cruel. It would be irreligious. It
+would be in bad taste. It would not be respectable. Listen to me; I
+will give you all Herod's Stores . . . Salome. Shannon was right. You
+HAVE taken too much, or you would not ask this thing. See, I will give
+you Mr. Redford's body, but not his head. Not that, not that, my child.
+
+SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on a four-wheel cab.
+
+THE DEVIL. Salome, I must tell you a secret. It is terrible for me to
+have to tell the truth. The Commander said that I would have to tell the
+truth. MR. REDFORD HAS NO HEAD!
+
+[_The audience long before this have begun to put on their cloaks, and
+the dramatic critics have gone away to describe the cold reception with
+which the play has been greeted. All the people on the stage cover their
+heads except the_ STATUE, _who has become during the action of the piece
+more and more like Mr. Bernard Shaw. Curtain descends slowly_.
+
+(1907.)
+
+_To_ ARTHUR CLIFTON, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+SOME DOCTORED DILEMMA.
+
+
+A NEW EPILOGUE FOR THE LAST PERFORMANCE OF MR. SHAW'S PLAY.
+
+Though Mr. Bernard Shaw has set the fashion in prologues for modern
+plays, his admirers were not altogether satisfied with the epilogue to
+_The Doctor's Dilemma_. It is far too short; and leaves us in the dark
+as to whom 'Jennifer Dubedat' married. Epilogues, as students of English
+drama remember, were often composed by other authors. The following
+experiment ought to have come from the hand of Mr. St. John Hankin, that
+master of Dramatic Sequels, but his work on the 'Cassilis Engagement'
+deprived Mr. Shaw of the only possible collaborator.
+
+[SCENE: _A Bury Street Picture Gallery_--MESSRS. GERSAINT & CO. _The
+clock strikes ten, and_ SIR COLENSO RIDGEON _is seen going out rather
+crestfallen by centre door_. MR. GERSAINT, _the manager, is nailing up a
+notice_ ('_All works of art, for art's sake or sale; prices on
+application. Catalogue_ 1_s_.). MR. JACK STEPNEY, _the secretary, is
+receiving the private view cards from the visitors who are trooping in;
+some sneak catalogues as they enter, and on being asked for payment
+protest and produce visiting cards and press vouchers instead of
+shillings. Artists, Royal Academicians_, MR. EDMUND GOSSE, _and other
+members of the House of Lords discovered; men of letters, art critics,
+connoisseurs, journalists, collectors, dealers, private viewers,
+impostors, dramatic critics, poets, pickpockets, politicians crowd the
+stage. From time to time_ JACK STEPNEY _places a red star on the picture
+frames in the course of the action_.]
+
+J. STEPNEY. I thought all the pictures had been bought by Dr.
+Schutzmacher.
+
+GERSAINT. So they were, my boy, but he has wired saying they are all to
+be put up for sale at double the price; capital business, you see we
+shall get two commissions.
+
+J. STEPNEY. Yes, sir. It is fortunate Mrs. Dubedat did not have the
+prices marked in the Catalogue.
+
+GERSAINT. You mean Mrs. Schutzmacher. (_Drives in last nail_).
+
+J. STEPNEY. Yes, sir.
+
+_Enter a striking-looking-man, not unlike a Holbein drawing, at a
+distance: but on nearer inspection, as he comes within range of the
+footlights, he is more like an Isaac Oliver or Nicholas Lucidel. He
+examines the notice and sniffs_.
+
+S.L.M.N.U.H.D. Which are the works of Art?
+
+EDMUND GOSSE. Can you tell me who that is? He is one of the few people
+I don't know by sight. A celebrity of course; and do point out any
+obscurities. Every one is so distinguished. It is rather confusing.
+
+GERSAINT. That is the Holland Park Wonder, so-called because he lives at
+the top of a tower in Holland Park--the greatest Art Connoisseur in
+England. Mr. Charles Ricketts, the greatest--
+
+EDMUND GOSSE. Thank you; thank you.
+
+MR. FREDERICK WEDMORE (_interrupting_). Can you tell me whether the
+frames are included in the prices of the pictures?
+
+J. STEPNEY. No, sir. They are stock frames, the property of the
+Gallery, and are only lent for the occasion.
+
+MR. FREDERICK WEDMORE. Then I fear I cannot buy; a naked picture without
+a frame is useless to me.
+
+CHARLES RICKETTS. Do you think I could buy a frame without a picture?
+
+JOSEPH PENNELL. I say Ricketts, it seems a beastly shame we didn't get
+this show for the International. It would have been good 'ad.' What's
+the use of Backers? I see they're selling well.
+
+CHARLES RICKETTS. But, my dear Pennell, you're doing the _Life_, aren't
+you?--the real Dubedat?
+
+JOSEPH PENNELL. Oh, yes, but the family have injuncted Heinemann from
+publishing the letters: Mr. Justice Kekewich will probably change his
+opinion when the weather gets warmer. It is only an interim injunction.
+
+CHARLES RICKETTS. A sort of Clapham Injunction.
+
+SIR WILLIAM RICHMOND, K.C.B., R.A. If I had known what a stupendous
+genius Dubedat was, I should have given him part of the 'New Bailey' to
+decorate.
+
+D. S. MACCOLL. Let us be thankful he's as dead as Bill Bailey.
+
+SIR CHARLES HOLROYD (_smoothing things over_). I think we ought to have
+an example for the Tate. (MACCOLL _winces_.) The Chantrey
+Bequest--(MACCOLL _winces again_)--might do something; and I must write
+to Lord Balcarres. The National Arts Collections Fund may have something
+over from the subscriptions to the Rokeby Velasquez; but I want to see
+what Colvin is going to choose for the British Museum.
+
+SIDNEY COLVIN. I think we might have this drawing; it stands on its
+legs. A most interesting fellow Dubedat. He reminds me of Con--
+
+GEORGE MOORE. Not Stevenson, though _he_ had no talent whatever. My
+dear Mr. Colvin, have you ever read 'Vailima Letters'? I have read parts
+of them.
+
+SIDNEY COLVIN (_coldly_). Ah, really! Did you suffer very much?
+
+SIR HUGH P. LANE. Do you think, Mr. Gersaint, the artist's widow would
+give me one of the pictures for the Dublin Gallery? We have no money at
+all. _I have no money_, but all the artists are giving pictures:
+Sargent, Shannon, Lavery, Frank Dicksee; and Rodin is giving a plaster
+cast.
+
+GERSAINT. How charming and insinuating you are, Sir Hugh. We can make
+special reductions for the Dublin Gallery, but you can hardly expect
+charitable bequests from picture dealers.
+
+SIR HUGH P. LANE. Oh! but Dowdeswell, Agnew, Sulley, Wertheimer, P. and
+D. Colnaghi, and Humphry Ward are all giving me pictures. Now, look
+here, I'll buy these five drawings, and you can give me these two. I'll
+give you a Gainsborough drawing in exchange for them. It has a very good
+history. First it belonged to Ricketts, then to Rothenstein, then Wilson
+Steer, and then to the Carfax Gallery, and . . . then it came into my
+possession, and all that in three months. (_Bargain concluded_.)
+
+MR. PFFUNGST (_aside_). But is there any evidence that it belonged to
+Gainsborough?
+
+SIR HUGH P. LANE (_turning to a titled lady_). Oh, do come to tea next
+Saturday. I want to show you my new Titian which I _have just bought
+for_ 2100_l_.
+
+TITLED LADY. Sir Hugh, _can_ you tell me who Mrs. Dubedat is now?
+
+SIR HUGH P. LANE. Oh, yes. She married Dr. Schutzmacher, the specialist
+on bigamy only this morning.
+
+TITLED LADY. How interesting. I should like to meet her. Dresses
+divinely, I'm told.
+
+SIR HUGH P. LANE. She's coming to tea next Saturday; such good tea, too!
+
+TITLED LADY. That will be delightful.
+
+ST. JOHN HANKIN (_loftily_). Can you tell me whether this charmian
+artist is pronounced Dubedat or Dubedat?
+
+W. P. KER (_in deep Scotch_). Non Dubitat. (_He does not speak again_.)
+
+P. G. KONODY. Oh, Mr. Phillips, do tell me _exactly_ what _you_ think of
+this artist!
+
+CLAUDE PHILLIPS. I think he wanted a good smacking.
+
+P. G. KONODY. Ah, yes, his art _has_ a smack about it. (_Aside_.) Good
+heading for the _Daily Mail_, 'Art with a smack.' (_Writes in
+catalogue_.)
+
+WILL ROTHENSTEIN. When I see pictures of this kind, my dear Gersaint,
+they seem to me to explain your existence. An artist without a
+conscience . . . (_Sees_ ROGER FRY.) My dear Fry, what are _you_ doing
+here? Buying for New York? (_Laughs meaningly_.)
+
+ROGER FRY. Oh, no; but I hear Gersaint has a very fine picture by the
+Maitresse of the Moulin Rouge. Weale says it is School of Gheel
+(_pronounced Kail_).
+
+WILL ROTHENSTEIN. Kail Yard I should think; do look at these things.
+
+ROGER FRY (_vaguely_). Who are they by? Oh, yes, Dubedat, of course.
+
+[FRY _and_ ROTHENSTEIN _regard picture with disdain_; _it withers under
+their glance_. _Stage illusion by_ MASKELYNE _and_ THEODORE COOK.
+STEPNEY _places a red star on it_.
+
+GERSAINT. Well, Mr. Bowyer Nichols, I hope we shall have a good long
+notice in the _Westminster Gazette_. Now if there is any drawing . . .
+
+BOWYER NICHOLS (_very stiffly_). No, there isn't. I don't think the
+Exhibition sufficiently important; everything seems to me cribbed: most
+of the pictures look like reproductions of John, Orpen or Neville Lytton.
+
+GERSAINT. Ah, no doubt, influenced by Neville Lytton. That portrait of
+Mr. Cutler Walpole has a Neville Lytton feeling. Neville Lytton in his
+earlier manner.
+
+_Enter_ SIR PATRICK CULLEN, SIR RALPH BLOOMFIELD BONNINGTON _and_ SIR
+COLENSO RIDGEON.
+
+SIR C. RIDGEON. Ah, Sir Patrick, I have just heard that the pictures are
+for sale; now I am going to plunge a little. I think they will rise in
+value; and by the way I want to ask your opinion as a scientific man. If
+I treat four artists with _virus obscaenum_ for three weeks, what will be
+the condition of the remaining artists in the fourth week?
+
+SIR P. CULLEN. Colenso, Colenso, you ought to have been a senior
+wrangler and then abolished.
+
+SIR C. RIDGEON. What a cynic you are. All the same I've had great
+successes, though Dubedat _was_ one of our failures. A rather anaemic
+member of the New English Art Club come to me for treatment, and in less
+than a year he was an Associate of the Royal Academy; what do you say to
+that?
+
+SIR P. CULLEN. Out of Phagocyte, out of mind.
+
+SIR R. B. B. My dear Sir Patrick, how prejudiced you are. Take
+MacColl's case: a typical instance of _morbus ferox ars nova anglicana_:
+under dear Colenso he became an official at the Tate.
+
+SIR C. RIDGEON. Then there's Sir Charles Holroyd, you remember his high
+tempera?
+
+SIR P. CULLEN. There has been a relapse I hear from the catalogue.
+
+SIR R. B. B. How grossly unfair; that is a false bulletin issued by the
+former nurse: 'the evil that men do lives after them.'
+
+SIR P. CULLEN. My dear B. B., this is not Dubedat's funeral. Do you
+think Bernard Shaw will like the new epilogue?
+
+BERNARD SHAW. He will; I'm shaw.
+
+L. C. C. INSPECTOR. Excuse me, is Mr. Vedrenne here? Ah, yes! There is
+Mr. Vedrenne. Will you kindly answer some of my questions? Is that door
+on the left a real door? In case of fire I cannot allow property doors;
+the actors might be seized with stage fright, and they must have, as Sir
+B. B. would say, 'their exits and their entrances.'
+
+VEDRENNE. Everything at the Court Theatre, my dear sir, is real. Ask
+Mr. Franks, he will tell you the door is not even a jar. The art, the
+acting, the plays, even the audience is real, except a few dramatic
+critics I cannot exclude. I admit the audience looks improbable at
+matinees; _out of Court_ is a truth in art of which we are only dimly
+beginning to understand the significance. [_Noise outside_.
+
+_Enter_ JENNIFER, _dressed in deep mourning_.
+
+JENNIFER (_with a bright smile_). Mr. Vedrenne, I have just had a
+telegram saying that my husband, Leo, was killed in his motor after
+leaving me at the Synagogue. His last words were: 'Jennifer, promise me
+that you will wear mourning if I die, merely to mark the difference
+between Dubedat and myself.' This afternoon I am going to marry
+Blenkinsop. How are the sales going?
+
+VEDRENNE. Well, I think we might have the catechism or the churching of
+heroines. What is your name?
+
+JENNIFER. Jennifer.
+
+VEDRENNE. Where did you get that name?
+
+JENNIFER. From Bernard Shaw in my baptism.
+
+MR. REDFORD (_Licenser of Plays_). Mr. Shaw, I really must point out
+that this passage comes from the Anglican Prayer-book. Are you aware of
+that? I have a suggestion of my own for ending the play.
+
+BERNARD SHAW. Oh, shut up! Let us have my ten commandments.
+
+GRANVILLE BARKER. My dear Shaw, you sent them to Wells for revision and
+he lost them in the Tube. I can remember the first one, 'Maude spake
+these words and said: "Thou shalt have none other Shaws but me."'
+
+BERNARD SHAW. How careless of Wells. I remember the second: 'Do not
+indulge in craven imitation.'
+
+W. L. COURTNEY. The third commandment runs: 'Thou shalt not covet George
+Alexander.'
+
+GRANVILLE BARKER. One of them runs: 'Do not commit yourself to Beerbohm
+Tree, though his is His Majesty's . . . ' But we shall never get them
+right. We must offer a reward for their recovery. I vote that Walkley
+now says the _credo_. That, I think, expresses every one's sentiment.
+
+A. B. WALKLEY (_reluctantly_). I believe in Bernard Shaw, in Granville
+Barker, and (_heartily_) in _The Times_.
+
+WILLIAM ARCHER. Plaudite, missa est.
+
+(1907.)
+
+CURTAIN.
+
+
+
+
+THE JADED INTELLECTUALS. A DIALOGUE.
+
+
+_Scene: The Smoking-room of the Elivas Club_.
+
+_Characters_: LAUDATOR TEMPOREYS, _aetat. 54, a distinguished literary
+critic, and_ LUKE CULLUS, _a rich connoisseur of art and life. They are
+not smoking nor drinking spirits. One is sipping barley water, the other
+Vichy_.
+
+LUKE CULLUS. You are a dreadful pessimist!
+
+LAUDATOR TEMPOREYS. Alas! there is no such thing in these days. We are
+merely disappointed optimists. When Walter Pater died I did not realise
+that English literature expired. Yet the event excited hardly any
+interest in the Press. Our leading weekly, the _Spectator_, merely
+mentioned that Brasenose College, Oxford, had lost an excellent Dean.
+
+L. C. I can hardly understand you. Painting, I admit, is entirely a
+lost art, so far as England is concerned. The death of Burne-Jones
+brought our tradition to an end. I see no future for any of the arts
+except needlework, of which, I am told, there is a hopeful revival. But
+in your fields of literature, what a number of great names! How I envy
+you!
+
+L. T. Who is there?
+
+L. C. Well, to take the novelists first: you have the great Thomas
+Hardy, H. G. Wells, Henry James, Rudyard Kipling, Maurice Hewlett . . . I
+can't remember the names of any others just at present. Then take the
+poets: Austin Dobson, my own special favourite; and among the younger
+men, A. E. Housman, Laurence Housman, Yeats, Arthur Symons, Laurence
+Binyon, William Watson--
+
+L. T. (_interrupting_). Who always keeps one foot in Wordsworth's grave.
+But all the men you mention, my dear Cullus, belong to the last century.
+They have done their best work. Hardy has become mummy, and Henry James
+is sold in Balham. Except Hardy, they have become unintelligible. The
+theory that 'to be intelligible is to be found out' seems to have
+frightened them. The books they issue are a series of 'not-at-home'
+cards--sort of P.P.C.'s on posterity. And the younger poets, too, belong
+to the last century, or they stand in the same relation to their
+immediate predecessors, to borrow one of your metaphors, as _l'art
+nouveau_ does to Chippendale. Oh, for the days of Byron, Keats, and
+Shelley!
+
+L. C. All of whom died before they were matured. You seem to resent
+development. In literature I am a mere _dilettante_. A fastidious
+reader, but not an expert. I know what I don't like; but I never know
+what I shall like. At least twice a year I come across a book which
+gives me much pleasure. As it comes from the lending library it is never
+quite new. That is an added charm. If it happens to have made a
+sensation, the sensation is all over by the time it reaches me. The book
+has matured. A quite new book is always a little crude. It suggests an
+evening paper. There at least you will agree. But to come across a work
+which Henry James published, say, last year, is, I assure you, like
+finding a Hubert Van Eyck in the Brompton Road.
+
+L. T. I wish I could share your enthusiasm, or that I could change
+places with you. Every year the personality of a new artist is revealed
+to you. I know you only pretend not to admire the modern school of
+painting. You find it a convenient pose. Your flora and your fauna are
+always receiving additions; while my garden is withered; my zoo is out of
+repair. The bars are broken; the tanks have run dry. There is hardly a
+trace of life except in the snake-house, and, as I mentioned, the last
+giraffe is dead.
+
+L. C. Our friend, Dr. Chalmers Mitchell, is fortunately able to give us
+a different account of the institution in Regent's Park. You are quite
+wrong about modern painting. None of the younger men can paint at all. A
+few of them can draw, I admit. It is all they can do. The death of
+Charles Furse blasted all my hopes of English art. Whistler is dead;
+Sargent is an American.
+
+L. T. Well, so is Henry James, if it comes to that. And so _was_
+Whistler. But I have seen the works of several young artists who I
+understand are carrying out the great traditions of painting. Ricketts,
+Shannon, Wilson Steer, Rothenstein, Orpen, Nicholson, Augustus John are
+surely worthy successors to Turner, Alfred Stevens, and the
+Pre-Raphaelites.
+
+L. C. They are merely connoisseurs gifted with expressing their
+appreciation of the past in paint. They appeal to you as a literary man.
+You like to detect in every stroke of their brushes an echo of the past.
+Their pictures have been _heard_, not _seen_. All the younger artists
+are committing burglary on the old masters.
+
+L. T. It is you who are a disappointed optimist.
+
+L. C. Not about literature or the drama. I seem to hear, with Ibsen's
+'Master Builder,' the younger generation knocking at the door.
+
+L. T. It comes in without knocking in my experience; and generally has
+_fig_-leaves in its hair--a decided advance on the coiffure of Hedda
+Gabler's lover.
+
+L. C. But look at Bernard Shaw.
+
+L. T. Why should I look at Bernard Shaw? I read his plays and am more
+than ever convinced that he has gone on the wrong lines. His was the
+opportunity. He made _il gran refuto_. Some one said that George
+Saintsbury never got over the first night of _Hernani_. Shaw never
+recovered the _premiere_ of _Ghosts_. He roofed our Thespian temple with
+Irish slate. His disciples found English drama solid brick and leave it
+plaster of Paris. Yet Shaw might have been another Congreve.
+
+L. C. _Troja fuit_. We do not want another. I am sure you never went
+to the Court at all.
+
+L. T. Oh, yes, I attended the last _levee_. But the drama is too large
+a subject, or, in England, too small a subject to discuss. We live, as
+Professor Mahaffy has reminded us, in an Alexandrian age. We are wounded
+with archaeology and exquisite scholarship, and must drag our slow length
+along . . . We were talking about literature. Where are the essayists,
+the Lambs, and the Hazlitts? I know you are going to say Andrew Lang; I
+say it every day; it is like an Amen in the Prayer-book; it occurs quite
+as frequently in periodical literature. He _was_ my favourite essayist,
+during the _last_ fifteen years of the _last_ century. What is he now?
+An historian, a folk-lorist, an archaeologist, a controversialist. I
+believe he is an expert on portraits of Mary Stuart. You were going on
+to say G. K. Chesterton--
+
+L. C. No. I was going to say Max Beerbohm. Some of his essays I put
+beside Lamb's, and above Hazlitt's. He has style; but then I am
+prejudiced because he is the only modern artist I really admire. He is a
+superb draughtsman and our only caricaturist. Then there is George
+Moore. I don't care for his novels, but his essays are delightful.
+George Moore really counts. Few people know so little about art; yet how
+delightfully he writes about it. Everything comes to him as a surprise.
+He gives you the same sort of enjoyment as you would derive from hearing
+a nun preach on the sins of smart society.
+
+L. T. Moore is one of many literary Acteons who have mistaken Diana for
+Aphrodite.
+
+L. C. You mean he is great dear; but he gets hold of the right end of
+the stick.
+
+L. T. And he generally soils it. But you know nothing about literature.
+The age requires blood and Kipling gave it Condy's Fluid (_drinks barley
+water_). The age requires life, and Moore gave us a gallantee show from
+Montmartre (_drinks barley water_). Even I require life. To-morrow I am
+off to Aix.
+
+L. C.--les Bains?
+
+L. T. No, la-Chapelle!
+
+L. C. Oh, then we shall probably meet. Thanks. I can get on my own
+overcoat. I shall probably be there myself in a few weeks.
+
+
+
+
+ABBEY THOUGHTS.
+
+
+Shall some memorial of Herbert Spencer be erected in the Abbey, or rather
+in what journalists love to call the 'National Valhalla,' the 'English
+Pantheon,' or the 'venerable edifice,' where, as Macaulay says, the dust
+of the illustrious accusers, _et cetera_----? The question was once
+agitated in a daily paper. It seems that the Dean, when approached on
+the subject, acted like one of his predecessors in the case of Byron. The
+Dean is in a very difficult position, because any decision of his must be
+severely criticised from one quarter or another. The Abbey retains, I
+understand, some of its pre-Reformation privileges, and is not under the
+jurisdiction of Bishop or Archbishop. Yet no one who has ever visited
+the Chapel of St. Edward the Confessor on October 13th, the festival of
+his translation, can accuse the Abbey authorities of bigotry or narrow-
+mindedness. Only a few years ago I fought my way, with other Popish
+pilgrims, to the shrine of our patron Saint (as he _was_, until
+superseded by Saint George in the thirteenth century), and there I
+indulged in overt acts of superstition violating Article XXII. of 'the
+Church of England by law established.' A verger, with some colonial
+tourists, arrived during our devotions, but his voice was lowered out of
+regard for our feelings. Indeed, both he and the tourists adopted
+towards us an attitude of respectful curiosity (not altogether
+unpleasant), which was in striking contrast to the methods of the
+continental _Suisse_ routing out worshippers from a side chapel of a
+Catholic church in order to show Baedeker-ridden sightseers an
+altar-piece by Rotto Rotinelli.
+
+Thoughts of Cranmer, Latimer, and Ridley irresistibly mingled with my
+devotions. What had the poor fellows burnt for, after all? Here we were
+ostentatiously ignoring English history and the adjacent Houses of
+Parliament; outraging the rubrics by ritual observations for which poor
+curates in the East End are often suspended, and before now have been
+imprisoned. I could not help thinking that the Archbishop of Westminster
+would hardly care to return these hospitalities, by permitting, on August
+24th, a memorial service for Admiral Coligny in Westminster Cathedral. . . .
+I rose from my knees a new Luther, with something like a Protestant
+feeling, and scrutinised severely the tombs in Poets' Corner. Even there
+I found myself confronted with an almost irritating liberalism. Here was
+Alexander Pope, who rejected all the overtures of Swift and Atterbury to
+embrace the Protestant faith. And there was Dryden, not, perhaps, a
+great ornament to my persuasion, but still a Catholic at the last. Dean
+Panther had not grudged poet Hind his niche in the National Valhalla (I
+knew I should be reduced to that periphrasis). And here was the mighty
+Charles Darwin, about whose reception into the English Pantheon (I have
+fallen again) I remember there was some trouble. Well, if precedent
+embalms a principle, I venture to raise a thin small voice, and plead for
+Herbert Spencer. 'The English people,' said a friendly French critic,
+'do not admire their great men because they were great, but because they
+reflect credit on themselves.' So on the score of national vanity I
+claim space for Herbert Spencer. Very few Englishmen have exercised such
+extraordinary influence on continental opinion, which Beaconsfield said
+was the verdict of posterity. On the news of his death, the Italian
+Chamber passed a vote of condolence with the English people. I suppose
+that does not seem a great honour to Englishmen, but to me, an enemy of
+United Italy, it seemed a great honour, not only to the dead but to the
+English people. Can you imagine the Swiss Federal Council sending us a
+vote of condolence on the death of Mr. Hall Caine or Mr. Robert Hichens?
+
+Again, though it is ungrateful of me to mention the fact after my
+experiences of October 13th, the Abbey was not built nor endowed by
+people who anticipated the Anglican form of worship being celebrated
+within its walls, though I admit it has been _restored_ by the adherents
+of that communion. The image of Milton, to take only one instance, would
+have been quite as objectionable to Henry III. or Abbot Islip as those of
+Darwin or Spencer. The emoluments bequeathed by Henry VII. and others
+for requiem masses are now devoted to the education of Deans' daughters
+and Canons' sons. Where incensed altars used to stand, hideous monuments
+of the sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries wound the Gothic
+air with their monstrous ornaments and inapposite epitaphs. St. Paul's
+may fairly be held sacred to Anglicanism, and I do not think any one
+would claim sepulture within its precincts for one who was avowedly
+hostile to Christian or Anglican sentiment. But I think the Abbey has
+now passed into the category of museums, and might well be declared a
+national monument under control of the State. The choir, and possibly
+the nave, should, of course, be severely preserved for whatever the State
+religion might be at the time. Catholics need not mourn the
+secularisation of the transepts and chapels, because Leo XIII. renounced
+officially all claims on the ancient shrines of the Catholic faith, and
+High Churchmen might console themselves by recalling the fact that Abbots
+were originally laymen.
+
+My whole scheme would be a return to the practice of the Primitive
+Church, when priests were only allowed on sufferance inside abbeys at
+all. The Low Church party need not be considered, because they can have
+no sentiment about what they regard as relics of superstition and Broad
+Churchmen could hardly complain at the logical development of their own
+principle. The Nonconformists, the backbone of the nation, could not be
+otherwise than grateful. The decision about admitting busts, statues, or
+bodies into the national and sacred 'musee des morts' (as the
+anti-clerical French might call it under the new constitution) would rest
+with the Home Secretary. This would be an added interest to the duties
+of a painstaking official, forming pleasant interludes between
+considering the remission of sentences on popular criminals: it would
+relieve the Dean and Chapter at all events from grave responsibility. The
+Home Secretary would always be called the Abbot of Westminster. How
+picturesque at the formation of a new Cabinet--'_Home Secretary and Abbot
+of Westminster_, the Right Hon. Mr. So-and-So.' The first duty of the
+Abbot will be to appoint a Royal Commission to consider the removal of
+hideous monuments which disfigure the edifice: nothing prior to 1700
+coming under its consideration. A small tablet would recall what has
+been taken away. Herbert Spencer's claim to a statue would be duly
+considered, and, I hope, by a unanimous vote some of the other glaring
+gaps would be filled up. If the Abbey is full of obscurities, very dim
+religious lights, many of the illustrious names in our literature have
+been omitted: Byron, Shelley, Keats--to mention only these. There is no
+monument to Chatterton, one of the more powerful influences in the
+romantic movement, nor to William Blake, whose boyish inspiration was
+actually nourished amid that 'Gothic supineness,' as Mr. MacColl has
+finely said of him. Of all our poets and painters Blake surely deserves
+a monument in the grey church which became to him what St. Mary Redcliffe
+was to Chatterton. A window adapted from the book of Job (with the
+marvellous design of the Morning Stars) was, I am told, actually offered
+to, and rejected by, the late Dean. To Dante Gabriel Rossetti and the
+wonderful movement of which he was the dynamic force there should also be
+a worthy memorial; to Water Pater, the superb aside of English prose; to
+Cardinal Manning, _the_ Ecclesiastic of the nineteenth century; and
+Professor Huxley, that master of dialectics.
+
+A young actor of my acquaintance, who bore the honoured name of Siddons,
+was invited to take part in the funeral service of the late Sir Henry
+Irving. His step-father was connected by marriage with the great
+actress, and he was very proud of his physical resemblance to her
+portrait by Reynolds. He had played with great success the part of
+Fortinbras in the provinces, and Mr. Alexander has assured me that he was
+the ideal impersonator of Rosencrantz. It was an open secret that he had
+refused Mr. Arthur Bourchier's offer of that _role_ in a proposed revival
+of _Hamlet_ at the Garrick. Since the burial of Sir Henry Irving in the
+Abbey, _he has never been seen_: though I saw him myself in the funeral
+_cortege_. All his friends remember the curious exaltation in his manner
+a few days before the ceremony, and I cannot help thinking that in a
+moment of enthusiasm, realising that this was his only chance of burial
+in the Abbey, he took advantage of the bowed unobservant heads during the
+prayer of Committal and crept beneath the pall into the great actor's
+tomb. What his feelings were at the time, or afterwards when the vault
+was bricked up, would require the introspective pen of Mr. Henry James
+and the curious imagination of Mr. H. G. Wells to describe. I have been
+assured by the vergers that mysterious sounds were heard for some days
+after this historical occasion. Distressed by the loss of my friend, I
+applied to the Dean of Westminster and finally to Scotland Yard. I need
+not say that I was met with sacerdotal indifference on the one hand and
+with callous officialism on the other. I hope that under the Royal
+Commission which I have appointed the mystery will be cleared up. Not
+that I begrudge poor Siddons a niche with Garrick and Irving.
+
+(1906.)
+
+_To_ PROFESSOR JAMES MAYOR, _Toronto University_.
+
+
+
+
+THE ELETHIAN MUSE.
+
+
+After chaperoning into Fleet Street the eleventh Muse, the rather
+Batavian lady who is not to be found in that Greek peerage, Lempriere's
+Dictionary, an obliging correspondent from Edinburgh (an eminent writer
+to the Signet in our northern Thebes) inquired if there were any more
+muses who had escaped the students of comparative mythology. It is in
+response to his letter that I now present, as Mr. Charles Frohman would
+say, the thirteenth, the Elethian Muse.
+
+Yet I can fancy people asking, Where is the twelfth, and over what art or
+science does she preside? According to Apollodorus (in a recently
+recovered fragment from Oxyrynchus), Jupiter, suffering from the chronic
+headaches consequent on his acrimonious conversations with Athena,
+decided to consult Vulcan, AEsculapius having come to be regarded as a
+quack. Mulciber (as we must now call him, having used the name Vulcan
+once), suggested an extraordinary remedy, one of the earliest records of
+a homoeopathic expedient. He prescribed that the king of gods and men
+should keep his ambrosial tongue in the side of his cheek for half an
+hour three times a day. The operation produced violent retching in the
+Capitoline stomach. And on the ninth day, from his mouth, quite unarmed,
+sprang the twelfth muse. The other goddesses were very disgusted; and
+even the gods declined to have any communication with the new arrival.
+Apollo, however, was more tolerant, and offered her an asylum on the top
+shelf of the celestial library. Ever afterwards Musagetes used to be
+heard laughing immoderately, even for a librarian to the then House of
+Lords. Jupiter, incensed at this irregularity, paid him a surprise visit
+one day in order to discover the cause. He stayed, however, quite a long
+time; and the other deities soon contracted the habit of taking their
+nectar into the library. With the decline of manners, the twelfth muse
+began to be invited to dessert, after Juno and the more reputable
+goddesses had retired. To cut a long story short, when Pan died, in the
+Olympian sense very shortly afterwards, all the gods, as we know, took
+refuge on earth. Jupiter retired to Iceland, Aphrodite to Germany,
+Apollo to Picardy, but the twelfth muse wandered all over Europe, and
+found that she was really more appreciated than her sisters. The castle,
+the abbey, the inn, the lone ale-house on the Berkshire moors, all made
+her welcome. Finally she settled in Ireland, where, according to a
+protestant libel, she took the black veil in a nunnery.
+
+She is older than the chestnuts of Vallombrosa. Perhaps of all the
+ancient goddesses time has chilled her least. Her unfathomable smile
+wears a touch of something sinister in it, but she has a new meaning for
+every generation. And yet for Aretino there was some further magic of
+crimson on her lips and cheeks, lost for us. She is a solecism for the
+convalescent, and has given consolation to the brave. She has been a
+diver in rather deep seas and a climber in somewhat steep places. Her
+censers are the smoking-rooms of clubs; and her presence-lamps are
+schoolboys' lanterns. Though held the friend of liars and brutes, she
+has lived on the indelicacies of kings, and has made even pontiffs laugh.
+Her mysteries are told in the night-time, and in low whispers to the
+garish day. She lingers over the stable-yard (no doubt called _mews_ for
+that reason). Her costly breviaries, embellished with strange
+illuminations, are prohibited under Lord Campbell's Act. Stars mark the
+places where she has been. Sometimes a scholar's fallacy, a sworn foe to
+Dr. Bowdler, she is Notre Dame de Milet, our Lady of Limerick.
+
+* * * * *
+
+But it is of her sister I would speak, the thirteenth sister, who was
+created to keep the eleventh in countenance. She presides over the
+absurdities of prose. She is responsible for the stylistic flights of
+Pegasus when, owing to the persuasive eloquence of the Hon. Stephen
+Coleridge, his bearing-rein has been abolished, and he kicks over the
+traces.
+
+It was the Elethian Muse who inspired that Oxford undergraduate's
+peroration to his essay on the Characteristics of St. John's Gospel--
+
+ 'Furthermore, we may add that St. John's Gospel is characterised by a
+ tone of fervent piety which is totally wanting in those of the other
+ Evangelists'--
+
+and she hovered over the journalist who, writing for a paper which we
+need not name, referred to Bacchus as
+
+ 'that deity whose identity in Greek and Roman mythology is inseparably
+ connected with the over-indulgence of intoxicating liquors.'
+
+There are prose beauties, Elethian jewels, hidden away in Baedeker's
+mines of pregnant information and barren fact. I know it is fashionable
+to sneer at Baedeker, especially when you are writing little rhapsodies
+about remoter parts of Italy, where you have found his knowledge
+indispensable, if exiguous. You must always kick away the ladder when
+you arrive at literary distinction. I, who am still climbing and still
+clinging, can afford to be more generous. Let me, therefore, crown
+Baedeker with an essayist's parsley, or an academic laurel, ere I too
+become selfish, forgetful, egoistical, and famous.
+
+In _Southern France_, 1891 edition, p. 137, you find--
+
+ To the Pic de Nere, 3.75 hrs. from Luz, there and back 6.5 hrs.; a
+ delightful excursion, which can be made on horseback part of the way:
+ guide 12, horse 10 fr.; _adders abound_.
+
+For synthetic prose you will have to go to Tacitus to find the equal of
+that passage. No more is heard of the excursion. 'We leave Luz by the
+Barege road,' the text goes on to say. Reflections and picturesque word-
+painting are left for Mr. Maurice Hewlett, Mr. Arthur Symons, and Murray.
+
+In _Southern Italy_, Baedeker yields to softer and more Virgilian
+influences. The purple patches are longer and more frequent. On page 99
+we learn not only how to get to Baiae, but that
+
+ Luxury and profligacy, however, soon took up their abode at Baiae, and
+ the desolate ruins, which now alone encounter the eye, point the usual
+ moral!
+
+And from the preface to the same guide we obtain this remarkable advice:--
+
+ The traveller should adopt the Neapolitan custom of rejecting fish
+ that are not quite fresh.
+
+But it is certain educational works, popular in my childhood, that have
+yielded the more exotic Elethian blossoms for my Anthology. There are
+passages I would not willingly let die. In one of these books general
+knowledge was imparted after the manner of Magnall: 'What is the world?
+The earth on which we live.' 'Who was Raphael?' 'How is rice made?'
+After such desultory interrogatives, without any warning, came Question
+15: 'Give the character of Prince Potemki':--
+
+ Sordidly mean, ostentatiously prodigal, filthily intemperate and
+ affectedly refined. Disgustingly licentious and extravagantly
+ superstitious, a brute in appetite, vigorous though vacillating in
+ action.
+
+Until I went to the University, a great many years afterwards, I never
+learnt who Potemki was. At the age of seven he stood to me for what
+'Timberio' still is for Capriote children. My teacher obviously did not
+know. She always evaded my inquiries by saying, 'You will know when you
+are older, darling.' Suspecting her ignorance, I became pertinacious.
+'When I am as old as you?' was my ungallant rejoinder. I had to write
+the character out a hundred times. Then one Christmas Day I ventured to
+ask my father, who said I would find out about him in Gibbon. But I knew
+he was not speaking the truth, because he laughed in a nervous, peculiar
+way, and added that since I was so fond of history I must go to Oxford
+when I was older. I loathed history, and inwardly resolved that
+Cambridge should be my University. My mother admitted entire ignorance
+of Potemki's identity; and on my sketching his character (for I was proud
+of the knowledge), said he was obviously a 'horrid' man. His personality
+shadowed my childhood with a deadly fascination, which has not entirely
+worn away; producing the same sort of effect on me as an imaginary
+portrait by Pater.
+
+In a semi-geographical work called _Near Home; or, Europe Described_,
+published by Hatchards in the fifties (though my friend, Mr. Arthur
+Humphreys, denies all knowledge of it), I can recall many stereos of
+dialectic cast in a Socratic mould:--
+
+ _Q_. What is the religion of the Italians? _A_. They are Roman
+ Catholics.
+
+ _Q_. What do the Roman Catholics worship? _A_. Idols and a piece of
+ bread.
+
+ _Q_. Would not God be very angry if He knew the Italians worshipped
+ idols and a piece of bread? _A_. God IS very angry.
+
+Mr. Augustine Birrell, if still interested in educational phenomena, will
+not be surprised to learn that when I reached to man's estate I 'embraced
+the errors of Rome,' as my historical manual would have phrased it.
+
+I pity the child who did not learn universal history from Collier. How
+tame are the periods of Lord Acton, the Rev. William Hunt, Froude,
+Freeman, Oman, Round, even Macaulay, and little Arthur, beside the rich
+Elethian periods of William Francis Collier. Not Berenson, not Byron,
+not Beerbohm, have given us such a picture of Venice as Collier in
+describing the Council of Ten:--
+
+ The ten were terrible; but still more terrible were the three
+ inquisitors--two black, one red--appointed in 1454. Deep mystery hung
+ over the three. They were elected by the ten; none else knew their
+ names. Their great work was to kill; and no man--doge, councillor, or
+ inquisitor--was beyond their reach. Secretly they pronounced a doom;
+ and ere long the stiletto or the poison cup had done its work, or the
+ dark waters of the lagoon had closed over a life. The spy was
+ everywhere. No man dared to speak out, for his most intimate
+ companions might be on the watch to betray him. Bronze vases, shaped
+ like a lion's mouth, gaped at the corner of every square to receive
+ the names of suspected persons. Gloom and suspicion haunted gondola
+ and hearth!!
+
+It is owing to Collier that I know at least one fact about the Goths who
+took Rome, 'having reduced the citizens to feed on mice and nettles, A.D.
+546,' a diet to which many of the hotel proprietors in the imperial city
+still treat their clients.
+
+But let _Bellows' Dictionary_, a friend and instructor of riper years,
+close my list of great examples and my theme. The criticism is apposite
+to myself, and its only oddity--its Elethian quality, if I may say so--is
+its presence in that marvellous miniature whose ingenious author you
+would never suspect could have found room for such portentous
+observations in the small duodecimo to which he confined himself:--
+
+ Unaffected language is the inseparable accompaniment of natural
+ refinement; but that affectation which would make up for paucity of
+ thought by overstrained expression is a mark of vulgarity from which
+ no accident of social position can redeem those who are guilty of it.
+
+_To_ MORE ADEY, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+THERE IS NO DECAY.
+
+
+_A Lecture delivered in the Old Bluecoat School, Liverpool, on February
+12th, 1908_.
+
+ 'In every age there is some question raised as to its wants and
+ powers, its strength and weakness, its great or small worth and work;
+ and in every age that question is waste of time and speech. To a
+ small soul the age which has borne it can appear only as an age of
+ small souls; the pigmy brain and emasculate spirit can perceive in its
+ own time nothing but dwarfishness and emasculation. Each century has
+ seemed to some of its children an epoch of decadence and decline in
+ national life and spiritual, in moral or material glory; each alike
+ has heard the cry of degeneracy raised against it, the wave of emulous
+ impotence set up against the weakness of the age.'--SWINBURNE.
+
+Before the invention of printing, or let me say before the cheapening of
+printing, the lecturer was in a more fortunate position than he is to-
+day; because, if a learned man, he was able to give his audience certain
+pieces of information which he could be fairly sure _some_ of his
+listeners had never heard before. The arrival in town or city of
+Abelard, Paracelsus, or Erasmus, to take the first instances occurring to
+me, must have been a great event, the importance of which we can scarcely
+appreciate at the present day. It must have excited our forefathers, at
+least as much as the arrival of Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree in any large
+city, excites I imagine, all of us to-day. But multiplication of books
+has really rendered lecturers, as instructors, mere intellectual
+Othellos; their occupation is gone; the erudition of the ages is now
+within reach of all; though educational books were fairly expensive
+within living memory. You owe, therefore, a debt of gratitude to the
+_Times_ and the _Daily Mail_ for bringing Encyclopaedias of all kinds
+into the range of the shallowest purse and in contact with the shallowest
+heads in the community.
+
+But in case your learned professors have not contributed all their hidden
+lore and scholarship to the cheap Encyclopaedias, and still allow their
+learning to leak out at lectures, you may have come expecting instruction
+from me on some neglected subject. If that is so, I must confess myself
+at once an impostor. I have no information to give you. I assume your
+erudition to compensate for my own lack of it. There are no facts which
+I might bring before you that you cannot find stated more clearly in
+valuable manuals or works of reference, if you have not mastered them
+already. There is no scientific or philosophic theory which I might
+propound that you could not hear with greater benefit from others.
+
+Briefly, I have no orange up my sleeve.
+
+Let there be no deception or disappointment. I want you to play with an
+idea as children play at ball--not football--but the old game of catch.
+And out of this discussion, for I trust that you will all differ, if not
+with me, at least with each other, trains of thought may be quickened;
+mental grassland ploughed up; hidden perspectives unveiled. Above all, I
+would stimulate you to an appreciation of your contemporaries and of
+contemporary literature, contemporary drama, and contemporary art.
+
+Every few years distinguished men lift their voices, and tell us that all
+is over, _decay has begun_. The obscure and the anonymous echo the
+sentiment in the London Press. With the fall of any Government its
+supporters prophesy the rapid decomposition of the Empire; in the pulpit
+eloquent preachers of every sect and communion, thundering against the
+vices of Society, declare that Society is breaking up. Of course, not
+being in Society, I am hardly in a position to judge; and the vices I
+know only at second-hand--from the preachers. Yet I see no outward signs
+of decay in Society; it dresses quite as well, in some ways better than,
+it did. Society eats as much, judging from the size and number of new
+restaurants; its patronises as usual the silliest plays in London, and
+buys in larger quantities than ever the idiotic novels provided for it.
+Have you ever been to a bazaar in aid of Our Dumb Friends' League? Well,
+you see Society _there_, I can tell you; it is not dumb. And the
+conversation sounds no less vapid and no less brilliant than we are told
+it was in the eighteenth century; the dresses and faces are quite as
+pretty. But much as I should like to discuss the decay of English
+Society and the English nation, I feel that such lofty themes are beyond
+my reach. I am concerned only with the so-called decay of humbler
+things, the abstract manifestations of the human intellect, the Arts and
+Sciences. And lest, weary at the end of my discourse, you forget the
+argument or miss it, let me state at once what I wish to suggest, nay,
+what I wish to assert, _there is no such thing as decay_. Decay is an
+intellectual Mrs. Harris, a highly useful entity wherewith the
+journalistic Gamps try to frighten Betsy Prig. Of course an obvious
+objection to my assertion is the truism that everything has a life; and
+that towards the end of that natural life we are correct in speaking of
+approaching decay. With physical phenomena, however, I am not dealing,
+though I may say, by the way, that there are many examples of human
+intellect maturing in middle life or extreme old age. William Blake's
+masterpiece, the illustrations to the Book of Job, were executed when he
+was sixty-eight, a few years before his death. The late Lord Kelvin is
+an example of an unimpaired intellect. Still, it must be admitted that
+while nations may be destroyed by conquest, or by conquering too much and
+becoming absorbed by the conquered, and that ancient buildings may be
+pulled down or restored, so, too, conventions in literature and schools
+of art have been brought to an end by war, plague, or death--ostensibly
+brought to an end. But it is an error to suppose that art or literature,
+because their development was artificially arrested, were in a state of
+decay.
+
+The favourite object-lesson of our childhood was the Roman Empire.
+'Here's richness,' as Mr. Squeers said, here was decline, and Gibbon
+wrote his prose epic from that point of view. I hardly dare to differ
+with the greatest of English historians, but if we approach his work in
+the scientific spirit with which we should always regard history, we
+shall find that Gibbon draws false deductions from the undisputed facts,
+the unchallenged assertions of his history. Commencing with the Roman
+Empire almost in its cradle, he sees in every twist of the infant limbs
+prognostications of premature decline in a dispensation which by his own
+computation lasted over fourteen hundred years. It is safe enough to
+prophesy about the past. Everything I admit has a life, but I do not
+consider old age decay any more than I think exuberant youth immature
+childhood; death may be only arrested development and life itself an
+exhausted convention. Have you ever tried to count the number of reasons
+Gibbon gives (each one is a principal reason) for the cause of Roman
+decline? His philosophy reminds me of Flaubert's hero, who observed that
+if Napoleon had been content to remain a simple soldier in the barracks
+at Marseilles, he might still be on the throne of France. If we really
+accept Gibbon's view of history, I am not surprised that any one should
+be nervous about the British Empire. The great intellectual idea of the
+Roman dominion, arrested indeed by barbarian invasion, philosophically
+never decayed. Some of it was embalmed in Byzantium--particularly its
+artistic and literary sides; its religious forces were absorbed by the
+Roman Church, as Hobbes pointed out in a very wonderful passage; its
+humanism and polity became the common property of the European nations of
+to-day. Gibbon's work should have been called 'The Rise and Progress of
+Greco-Roman Civilisation.' That is not such a good title, but it would
+have been more accurate. And if you compare critically the history of
+any manifestation of the human intellect, religion, literature, painting,
+architecture, or science, you will find that the development of one
+expressive force has been momentarily arrested while some other
+manifestation is asserting itself synchronously with the supposed decay
+in a manifestation whose particular history you are studying. Always
+regard the deductions of the historian with the same scepticism that you
+regard the deductions of fiscal politicians.
+
+Every one knows the charming books by writers more learned than I can
+pretend to be, where the history of Italian art is traced from Giotto
+downwards; the story of Giotto and the little lamb, now, alas! entirely
+exploded; of Cimabue's Madonna being carried about in processions, and
+now discovered to have been painted by some one else! Then on to
+Massaccio through the delightful fifteenth century until you see in the
+text-book in large print, like the flashes of harbour lights after a bad
+Channel crossing, RAPHAEL, MICHAEL ANGELO, DA VINCI. But when you come
+to the seventeenth century, Guido Reni, the Carracci, and other painters
+(for the present moment out of fashion), painters whose work fetches
+little at Christie's, the art critic and historian begin to snivel about
+decay; not only of Italian art, but of the Italian peninsula; and their
+sobs will hardly ever allow them to get as far as Longhi, Piazetta, and
+Tiepolo, those great masters of the eighteenth century.
+
+But we know, painters certainly must know if they look at old masters at
+all, that Tiepolo, if he was the last of the old masters, was also the
+first of the moderns; it was his painting in Spain which influenced Goya,
+and Goya is not only a deceased Spanish master, he is a European master
+of to-day. You can trace his influence through all the great French
+figure-painters of the nineteenth century down to those of the New
+English Art Club, though they may not have actually known they were under
+his influence. Painting commences with a childish naturalism, such as
+you see on the walls of pre-historic caves; that is why savages always
+prefer photographs to any work of art, and why photographers are always
+so savage about works of art. Gradually this childish naturalism
+develops into decoration; it becomes stylistic. The decoration becomes
+perfected and sterile; then there arises a more sophisticated generation,
+longing for naturalism, for pictorial _vraisemblance_, without the
+childishness of the cave pictures. And their new art develops at the
+expense of decoration; it becomes perfect and sterile. What is commonly
+called decay is merely stylistic development. The exquisite art of
+Byzantium was wrongly considered as the debasement of Greco-Roman art. It
+was really the decorative expansion of it; the conventionalising of
+exaggerated realism. The same might have happened in Europe after the
+Baroque and Rococo fashions had their day; politics and commerce
+interfered. The intensely artificial painting of France, to which
+Diderot objected so much, had become perfect and sterile. Then (happily
+or unhappily, in whichever direction your tastes lie) the French
+Revolution, by a pathetic misunderstanding of classical ideals, paved the
+way for the naturalism of the misnamed Romantic school. We were told, a
+short time ago, that Sienese painting anticipated by a few years the
+Florentine manifestations of Cimabue and Giotto, but Mr. Berenson has
+pointed out that Sienese art is not the beginning but the end of an
+exquisite convention, the quintessence of Byzantium. In the Roscoe
+collection at Liverpool you have one of the most superb and precious
+examples of this delicate, impeccable and decadent art: 'Christ found in
+the Temple,' by Simone di Martini.
+
+In Egyptian art, again, compare the pure naturalism of the wonderful
+Egyptian scribe of the Louvre, belonging, I am told, to the fifth or
+sixth dynasty, with the hieratic and conventional art of the twelfth
+dynasty; while in the eighteenth dynasty you get a reversion to realism,
+which critics have the audacity to call a 'revival of art.' But you
+might just as well call it decayed, as indeed they do call some of the
+most magnificent Ptolemaean remains, simply because they happen to belong
+to a certain date which, by Egyptian reckoning, may be regarded as very
+recent. Just now we very foolishly talk in accents of scorn about the
+early Victorian art, of which I venture to remind you Turner was not the
+least ornament. Of course commercial and political events often
+interrupt the gestation of the arts, or break our idols in pieces.
+Another generation picks up the fragments and puts them together in the
+wrong way, and that is why it is so confusing and interesting; but there
+is no reason to be depressed about it. Only iconoclasm need annoy us. In
+histories of English literature too often you find the same attitude when
+the writer comes to a period which he dislikes. Restoration Comedy is
+often said to be a period of debasement, and with Tennyson the young
+student is given to understand that English literature ceased altogether.
+But perhaps there are more modern text-books where the outlook is less
+gloomy. If, instead of reading the history of literature, you read the
+literature itself, you will find plenty of instances of writers at the
+most brilliant periods complaining of decay.
+
+George Putman, in the _Art of English Poesy_, published in 1589, when
+English poetry was starting on a particularly glorious period, says, 'In
+these days all poets and poesy are despised, they are subject to scorn
+and derision,' and 'this proceeds through the barbarous ignorance of the
+time--in _other ages it was not so_.' Then Jonson, in his 'Discoveries,'
+lamenting the decline of literature, says, 'It is the disease of the age,
+and no wonder if the world, growing old, begins to be infirm.' There are
+hundreds of others which will immediately occur to you, from Chaucer to
+Tennyson, though Pope made noble protests on behalf of his
+contemporaries. You have only got to compare these lachrymose
+observations with the summary of the year's literature in any
+newspaper--'literary output' is the detestable expression always used--and
+you will find the same note of depression. 'The year has not produced a
+single masterpiece. Glad as we have been to welcome Mr. Blank's verse,
+"Larkspurs" cannot be compared with his first delicious volume,
+"Tealeaves," published thirty years ago.' Then turn to the review in the
+same paper of 'Tealeaves' thirty years ago. 'Coarse animalism draped in
+the most seductive hues of art and romance, we will not analyse these
+poems, we will not even pretend to give the reasons on which our opinion
+is based.' Or read the incisive 'Musings without Method,' in
+_Blackwood's Magazine_, on contemporary literature and contemporary
+things generally.
+
+Again, every painter is told that his work is not as good as last year,
+and that we have no one like Titian or Velasquez. The Royal Academy is
+always said to be worse than usual. I have known the summer exhibitions
+at Burlington House for twenty years. Let me assure you throughout that
+period they have always been quite as bad as they are now. But we do not
+want painters like Titian or Velasquez; we want something else. If
+painters were like Titian or Velasquez they would not be artists at all.
+When Velasquez went to Rome he was told he ought to imitate Raphael; had
+he done so should we regard him as the greatest painter in the world? If
+Rossetti had merely been another Fra Angelico or one of the early artists
+from whom he derived such noble inspiration, should we regard him as we
+do, as even the fierce young modern art student does, as one of the
+greatest figures in English art of the nineteenth century? In the latter
+part of that century I think he is the greatest force in English
+painting. I would reserve for him the largest print in my manual of
+English art. But have we declined since the death of Rossetti? On the
+contrary, I think we have advanced and are advancing. You must not think
+I am depreciating the past. The past is one of my witnesses. The past
+was very like our present; it nearly always depreciated itself
+intellectually and materially.
+
+We all of us think of Athens in the fifth century as a golden period of
+great men, when every genius was appreciated, but you know that they put
+Pheidias in prison. And take the instance of Euripides. The majority of
+his countrymen said he was nothing to the late Aeschylus. He was chiefly
+appreciated by foreigners, as you will remember if you are able to read
+'Balaustion's Adventure' (so much more difficult than Euripides in the
+original Greek). Listen to what Professor Murray says:--
+
+ His contemporary public denounced him as dull, because he tortured
+ them with personal problems; as malignant, because he made them see
+ truths they wished not to see; as blasphemous and foul-minded, because
+ he made demands on their religious and spiritual natures which they
+ could neither satisfy nor overlook. They did not know whether he was
+ too wildly imaginative or too realistic, too romantic or too prosaic,
+ too childishly simple or too philosophical--Aristophanes says he was
+ all these things at once. They only knew that he made them angry and
+ that they could not help listening to him.
+
+Does not that remind you a little of what was said all over England of
+Mr. Bernard Shaw? Of what is still said about him in many London houses
+to-day? If some one praises him, the majority of people will tell you
+that he is overrated. Does it not remind you of the reception which
+Ibsen's plays met when they were first produced here: when they gave an
+impetus to that new English drama which I understand is decaying, though
+it seems to me to be only beginning--the new English Drama of Mr.
+Granville Barker, Mr. Housman, Mr. Arnold Bennett, Mr. Galsworthy, and
+Mr. Masefield?
+
+Every year the patient research of scholars by the consultation of
+original documents has caused us to readjust our historical perspective.
+Those villains of our childhood, Tiberius, Richard III., Mary Tudor, and
+others, have become respectable monarchs, almost model monarchs, if you
+compare them with the popular English view of the present King of the
+Belgians, the ex-Sultan of Turkey, and the present Czar of Russia. It is
+realised that contemporary journalism gave a somewhat twopence coloured
+impression of Kings and Queens, who were only creatures of their age,
+less admirable expressions of the individualism of their time. And just
+as historical facts require readjustment by posterity, so our critical
+estimate of intellectual and aesthetic evolution requires strict
+revision. We must not accept the glib statement of the historian,
+especially of the contemporary historian, that at certain periods
+intellectual activity and artistic expression were decaying or did not
+exist. If a convention in one field of intellectual activity is said by
+the historian or chronicler to be approaching termination or to be
+decaying, as he calls it, we should test carefully his data and his
+credentials. But, assuming he is right, there will always be found some
+compensating reaction in another sphere of intellectual activity which is
+in process of development; and through which, by some divine alchemy,
+providence, or nature, call it what you will, a new manifestation will be
+made to the world. The arts which we suppose to have perished, of which,
+indeed, we write affecting epitaphs, are merely hibernating; the
+intellect which is necessary for their production and nutrition is simply
+otherwise employed; while, of course, you must make allowances for the
+appreciations of posterity, change of fashion and taste. From the middle
+of the sixteenth century down to nearly the middle of the nineteenth, the
+Middle Ages were always thought of as the Dark Ages. Scarcely any one
+could appreciate either the pictorial art or architecture of mediaevalism;
+those who did so always had to apologise for their predilection. The
+wonders of Gothic art were furtively relished by a few antiquaries; and,
+at certain periods, by men like Beckford and Walpole, as agreeable
+drawing-room curiosities. The Romantic movement commenced by Chatterton
+enabled us to revise a limited and narrow view, based on insufficient
+information. It was John Ruskin, in England, who made us see what a
+splendid heritage the Middle Ages had bequeathed to us. Ruskin and his
+disciples then fell into the error of turning the tables on the
+Renaissance, and regarded everything that deviated from Gothic convention
+as _debased_; the whole art of the eighteenth century was anathema to
+them. The decadence began, according to Ruskin, with Raphael. Out of
+that ingenious error, or synchronous with it, began the brilliant
+movement of the Pre-Raphaelites in the middle of the last century. And
+when the Pre-Raphaelites appeared, every one said the end of Art had
+arrived. Dickens openly attacked them; Thackeray ridiculed the new
+tendencies; every one, great and small, spoke of decay and decline. The
+French word _Decadence_ had not crept into use. However, the weary Titan
+staggered on, as Matthew Arnold said, and when Mr. Whistler's art dawned
+on the horizon, Ruskin was among the first to see in it signs of decay.
+Except the poetry of Swinburne, never has any art met with such abuse. An
+example of the immortal painter now adorns the National Gallery of
+_British_ painting, which is cared for--oh, irony of circumstances--by
+one of the first prophets of impressionism in this country, or, rather,
+let me say, one of the first English critics--Mr. D. S. MacColl.
+
+But you will now ask how do I account for those periods when apparently
+the liberal arts are supposed not to have existed? I maintain they did
+exist, or that human intellect was otherwise employed. The excavations
+of prehistoric cities are evidences of my contention. Because things are
+destroyed we must not say they have decayed; if evidences are scarce, do
+not say they never existed. Our architecture, for example, took five
+hundred years to develop out of the splendid Norman through the various
+transitions of Gothic down to the perfection of the English country house
+in Elizabethan and Jacobean times. If church architecture was decaying,
+domestic architecture was improving. _Architecture is, of course, the
+first and most important of all the arts_, and when the human intellect
+is being used up for some other purpose there is a temporary cessation;
+there is never any decay of architecture. The putting up of ugly
+buildings is merely a sign of growing stupidity, not of declining
+intellect or decaying taste. Jerry-building is the successful
+competition of dishonesty against competency. Do not imagine that
+because the good architects do not get commissions to put up useful or
+beautiful buildings they do not exist. The history of stupidity and the
+history of bad taste must one day engage our serious attention. There is
+no decay, alas, even in stupidity and bad taste.
+
+The suddenness with which the literature of the sixteenth century
+developed in England has been explained, I know, by the Reformation. But
+you should remember the other critics of art, who ascribe the barrenness
+of our painting and the necessity of importing continental artists, also
+to the Reformation. I suggest that the intellectual capacity of the
+nation was directed towards literature, politics and _religious_
+controversy, rather than to art and religion. I cannot think there was
+any scarcity of the artistic germ in the English nation which had already
+expressed itself in the great Abbeys and Churches, such as Glastonbury,
+Tintern, Fountains, and York. And you must remember that the minor art
+of embroidery, the '_opus anglicanum_' (which flourished for three
+centuries previous to the Reformation), was famous throughout Europe.
+
+In the middle of the eighteenth century, the big men, Swift, Pope, and
+Addison, having passed away, the Augustan age of English literature
+seemed exhausted. It was a time of intellectual dyspepsia; every one was
+much too fond of ruins; people built sham ruins on their estates. Rich
+men, who could afford the luxury, kept a dilapidated hermit in a cavern.
+Their chief pleasure on the continent was measuring ruins in the way
+described so amusingly by Goldsmith in _The Citizen of the World_. Though
+no century was more thoroughly pleased with itself, I might almost say
+smugly self-satisfied, the men of that century were always lamenting the
+decline of the age. The observations of Johnson and Goldsmith I need
+scarcely repeat. But here is one which may have escaped your notice. It
+is not a suggestion of decline, but an assertion of non-existence. Gray,
+the poet, the cultivated connoisseur, the Professor of History, writing
+in 1763 to Count Algarrotti, says: 'Why this nation has made no advances
+hitherto in painting and sculpture it is hard to say; the fact is
+undeniable, and we have the vanity to apologise for ourselves as Virgil
+did for the Romans:
+
+ Excudent alii spirantia mollius aera,
+ Credo equidem, vivos ducent de marmore vultus,
+ Orabunt causas melius, coelique meatus
+ Describent radio, et surgentia sidera dicent:
+ Tu regere imperio populos, Romane, memento;
+ Hae tibi erunt artes; pacisque imponere morem,
+ Parcere subjectis, et debellare superbos.
+
+'You are generous enough to wish, and sanguine enough to see that art
+shall one day flourish in England. _I too much wish, but can hardly
+extend my hopes so far_.' Yet in 1754 Chippendale had published his
+Cabinet Makers' Guide; and the next fifty years was to see the production
+of all that beautiful English furniture of which we are so justly proud,
+and which we forge with such surprising skill. It was the next fifty
+years that saw the production of the beautiful English pottery which we
+prize so highly, and it was the next hundred years that was to be the
+period of Reynolds, Gainsborough, Lawrence, Crome, Cotman, Alfred
+Stevens, and Turner, who died in 1851, just when the Pre-Raphaelites were
+supposed to be inaugurating the decay of that which Gray denied the
+existence, nearly one hundred years before.
+
+Though the scope of my discussion is limited to literature and art, it
+would be paltry to confine our inquiries within limited horizons.
+Painting and architecture, alas, are not the whole of life; the fine arts
+are only the flowers of existence; they are useful as humanising
+elements; but they are not indispensable. That vague community among
+whom we arbitrarily place those with whom we disagree--the
+Philistines--get on very well without them. But even Philistines have to
+reckon with Religion and Science, and in a lesser degree with Philosophy.
+That powerful trinity affects our every-day life. Philosophy is so
+cloistered, so difficult to understand, that we seldom hear of its decay;
+though we are constantly told that some branch of science is being
+neglected, or owing to a religious revival that its prestige is becoming
+undermined; its truths are becoming falsehoods. I am not a man of
+science, not even a student, only a desultory reader. Yet I suggest
+that, as was pointed out in the case of the fine arts, certain branches
+of the divine scholarship, if I may call it so, may be arrested
+temporarily in any development they may have reached. Let us take
+medicine. Medicine is primarily based upon the study of anatomy or
+structure--physiology--or the scheme of structure carried out in life;
+and upon botany and chemistry as representing the vegetable and mineral
+worlds where the remedies are sought. Anatomy soon reaches a finite
+position, when a sufficient number of careful dissections has been made;
+the other divisions used to look like promising endless development; but
+there is reason to suppose that they too, as far as medicine is
+concerned, have reached a sterile perfection.
+
+The microscope is perfected up to a point which mechanicians think cannot
+be improved upon; so that those ultimate elements of physiology which
+depend upon the observation of minute structure are known to us. To put
+it crudely, we cannot discover any more germs, whose presence is hidden
+from us by mere minuteness, unless we can improve our machinery, and
+that, we are told, is an improbable event. I will not labour the point
+by applying it to botany, which is very obvious, or to chemistry, where
+it is not so clear. But it _is_ clear that owing to a feeling that not
+much more is to be got from minute observation with the tools at our
+disposal, the brightest intellects and most inventive clairvoyant work
+are shunted into more imaginative channels. There are no men who guess
+so brilliantly as men of science, so that science, in that respect, has
+attained the dignity of Theology. I suppose that the startling theories
+propounded by Sir Oliver Lodge and others will be taken as evidence of
+the decay of science. But the human intellect, especially if it is
+scientific, cannot, I imagine, like actors, go on repeating or feigning
+the same emotion. It must leave for the moment as apparently completed
+one branch of knowledge to which it may return again after developing
+some less mature branch on which the attention of the most learned
+investigators is for a time wholly concentrated. The tree of knowledge
+is an evergreen, and in science, no more than in arts, is there any
+decay. When Darwin published his great _Origin of Species_ which was
+hailed as a revelation, not only by scientific men, but by intelligent
+laymen, religious people became very much alarmed. They talked about the
+decay of faith, and ascribed any falling off in the offertories to the
+shillings spent on visiting the monkey-house at the Zoological Gardens.
+Younger sons and less gifted members of clever families were no longer
+destined for Holy Orders; as we were descended from apes it would have
+seemed impious. They were sent to Cambridge to pursue a so-called
+scientific career, which was crowned by the usual aegrotat in botany
+instead of a pass in history. The falling off in candidates for Holy
+Orders seriously alarmed some of our Bishops; and Darwin--the gentle,
+delightful Darwin--became what the Pope had been to our ancestors. I
+need not point out how groundless these fears happily proved to be. The
+younger intellects of the country simply became more interested for the
+moment in the cross-breeding of squirrels, than in the internecine
+difficulties of the Protestant church on Apostolic succession, the number
+of candles on the altar, and the legality of incense. Now, I rejoice to
+say, there is a healthy revival of interest and a healthy difference of
+opinion on all these important religious questions. We must never pay
+serious attention to the alarmists who tell us that the churches and
+sects are seeing their last days. Macaulay has warned us never to be too
+sanguine about the Church of Rome. The moments of her greatest trials
+produced some of her greatest men--Ignatius Loyola, Philip Neri, and
+Francis Xavier. Do you think the Church is decaying because the
+congregations are banished from France, and the Concordat has come to an
+end? I tell you it will only stimulate her to further conquests; it is
+the beginning of a new life for the Catholic Church in France. If the
+Anglican Church were to be disestablished to-morrow, I would regard it as
+a Sandow exercise for the hardworking, splendid intellects of the
+Establishment. The Nonconformists--well, they never talk about their own
+decline; of all the divisions of Christianity they always seem to me
+heartily to enjoy persecution; and like myself, I never knew them to
+admit the word _decadence_ into their vocabulary, at least about
+themselves. I hold them up to you as examples. Let us all be
+Nonconformists in that respect.
+
+I do not ask you to adopt the habit against which Matthew Arnold directed
+one of his witty essays, the habit of expressing a too unctuous
+satisfaction with the age and time in which we are living. That was the
+intellectual error of the Eighteenth Century. There are problems of
+poverty, injustice, disease, and unhappiness, which should make the most
+prosperous and most selfish of us chafe; but I do urge that we should not
+suspect the art and literature of our time, the intellectual
+manifestations of our age, whether scientific or literary. I urge that
+we do not sit on the counter in order to cry 'stinking fish,' and observe
+that this is merely an age of commerce. An overweening modesty in us
+seems to persuade us that it is quite impossible we should be fortunate
+enough to be the contemporaries of great men. The fact that we know them
+personally sometimes undermines our faith; contemporary contempt for a
+great man is too often turned on the contemporaries. Do not let us look
+upon genius, as Schopenhauer accused some people of doing, 'as upon a
+hare which is good to eat when it has been killed and dressed up, but so
+long as it is alive only good to be shot at.' And if our intellectuals
+are not all Brobdingnagians, they are not all Liliputians. It seems to
+me ungenerous to make sweeping and deprecating assertions about our own
+time; it is also dangerous. The contemporary praise of unworthy work,
+ephemeral work--there is always plenty of that, we know--is forgotten;
+and (though it does not decay) perishes with the work it extolled. But
+unsound criticism and foolish abuse of great work is remembered to the
+confusion of the critics. Think of the reception accorded to Wordsworth,
+Coleridge, Byron, Keats, Shelley, Rossetti, and Swinburne.
+
+I remember that excellent third-rate writer, W. E. H. Lecky, making a
+speech at a dinner of the Authors' Society, in which he said that he was
+sorry to say there were no great writers alive, and no stylists to
+compare with those who had passed away. A few paces off him sat Walter
+Pater, George Meredith, and Mr. Austin Dobson. Tennyson, though not
+present at the banquet, was president of the Society, and Ruskin was
+still alive. When Swinburne's 'Atalanta in Calydon' appeared, another
+third-rate writer, James Russell Lowell, assured the world that its
+author was no poet, because there was no thought in the verse. Four
+years ago, at a provincial town in Italy, when one of the Italian
+ministers, at the opening of some public building, said that united Italy
+owed to the great English poet Swinburne a debt which it could never
+forget, the inhabitants cheered vociferously. This was no idle
+compliment; every one in Italy knows who Swinburne was. I will not
+hazard to guess the extent of the ovation which the names of Lowell and
+Lecky would receive, but I think the incident is a fair sign that English
+poetry has not decayed.
+
+In the _Daily Mail_ I saw once an interview with an inferior American
+black-and-white draughtsman at Berlin. He was asked his opinion about a
+splendid exhibition of old English pictures being held there, and took
+occasion to say 'what the pictures demonstrate is not that the English
+women of the eighteenth century were conspicuously lovely, but the
+artists who painted them possessed secrets of reproduction which
+posterity has failed to inherit.' I would like to reply 'Rot, rot, rot;'
+but that would imply a belief in decay. I suggest to the same critic
+that he should visit one of the 'International Exhibitions,' where he
+will see the pictures of Mr. Charles Hazelwood Shannon. Such a stupid
+view from an American is particularly amazing, because in Mr. John Singer
+Sargent, we (by _we_ I mean America and ourselves) possess an artist who
+is certainly the peer of Gainsborough and Reynolds, and personally I
+should say a much greater painter than Reynolds. A hundred years hence,
+perhaps people at Berlin (the most critical and cultivated capital in the
+world) will be bending before the 'Three Daughters of Percy Wyndham,' the
+'Duchess of Sutherland,' the 'Marlborough Family,' and many another
+masterpiece of Mr. Sargent and Mr. Charles Shannon. The same American
+critic says that our era of mediocrity will continue; so I am full of
+hope. Even the existence of America does not depress me: nor do I see in
+it a symptom of decay; if it produces much that is distasteful in the way
+of tinned meat, it gave us Mr. John Sargent and Mr. Henry James, and it
+took away from England Mr. Richard Le Gallienne.
+
+I should be the last to invite you not to discriminate about the present.
+We must be cautious in estimating the very popular writers or painters of
+our time; but we must not dismiss them because they are popular. We
+should be tall enough to worship in a crowd. Let our criticism be
+aristocratic, our taste fastidious, and let our sympathies be democratic
+and catholic. Dickens, I suppose, is one of the most popular writers who
+ever lived, and yet he is part of the structure of our literature; but as
+Dickens is dead, I prefer to mention the names of three living writers,
+who are also popular, and have become corner-stones of the same
+building--Mr. Thomas Hardy, Mr. Rudyard Kipling, Mr. H. G. Wells. 'There
+are at all times,' says Schopenhauer, 'two literatures in progress
+running side by side, but little known to each other; the one real, the
+other only apparent. The former grows into permanent literature: it is
+pursued by those who live _for_ science or poetry. The other is pursued
+by those who live _on_ science or poetry; but after a few years one asks
+where are they? where is the glory that came so soon and made so much
+clamour?' We are happy if we can discriminate between those two
+literatures.
+
+While we should remember that there are at all times intellects whose
+work is more for posterity than for the present; work which appeals,
+perhaps, only to the few, that of artists whose work has no purchasers,
+writers whose books may have publishers but few readers, we must be
+cautious about accepting the verdict of the dove-cot. There are many
+obscure artists and writers whose work, though admired by a select few,
+remains very properly obscure, and will always remain obscure; it is of
+no value intellectually; the world should know nothing of its inferior
+men. Sometimes, however, it is these inferior men who are able to get
+temporary places as critics, and inform us in leading articles that ours
+is an age _of Decadence_. Every new drama, every work of art which
+possesses individuality or gives a fresh point of view or evinces
+development of any kind, is held up as an instance of Decay. '_L'ecole
+decadent_' was a phrase invented as a jest in 1886, I believe by Monsieur
+Bourde, a journalist in Paris. It was eagerly adopted by the Parisians,
+and soon floated across the Channel. Used as a term of reproach, it was
+accepted by the group of poets it was intended to ridicule. I need not
+remind you that the master of that school was Paul Verlaine, the immortal
+poet who enlarged the scope of French verse--the poet who achieved for
+French poetry what I am told the so-called decadent philosopher Nietzsche
+has done for German prose. Unfortunately I do not know German, and it
+seems almost impossible to add to the German language. But Nietzsche, I
+am assured by competent authorities, has performed a similar feat to that
+of Luther on the issue of his Bible.
+
+When, therefore, we hear of decadence in literature or art, even if we
+accept Mr. Balfour's definition of its symptom--'_the employment of an
+over-wrought technique_'--we must remember that Decadence and Decay have
+now different meanings, though originally they meant the same sort of
+thing. An over-wrought technique is characteristic of the decadent
+school of France, particularly of Mallarme, and some of our own
+decadents. Walter Pater and Sir Thomas Browne. The existence of writers
+adopting an over-wrought technique, however, is not (and Mr. Balfour
+would repudiate the idea) a sign of decay as commonplace moralists would
+have us believe, but of realised perfection. Pater is the most perfect
+prose writer we ever produced. The Euphuists of the sixteenth century
+were of course decadents, and I think you will admit that they did not
+herald any decay in our literature.
+
+The truth is that men after a certain age, if not on the crest of the
+waves themselves, become bored with counting the breakers, and decide
+that the tide is going out. You must often have had arguments with
+friends on this subject when walking by the sea. The water seems to be
+receding; you can see that there is an ebb; and then an unusually long
+wave comes up and wets your feet. Great writers are guilty of a similar
+error without any intention of contriving a literary conceit (as I
+suspect many a past outcry to have been). Even Pater declared that he
+would not disturb himself by reading any contemporary literature
+published by an author who did not exist before 1870. He never read
+Stevenson or Kipling. Now that is a terrible state to be in; it is a
+symptom of premature old age; not physical but mental old age.
+
+The art of the present day is not architecture, painting, or literature.
+It is the art of remaining young. It is the art of life. It is a
+science. The fairer, the stronger, the better sex--shall I call its
+members our equals or our superiors?--have always realised this. Indeed,
+they have employed ingenious mechanical contrivances for arresting the
+march of time or that physical decay of which we are all victims.
+Sometimes they may be said to have indulged in an over-wrought technique,
+which may be the reason why we are told that every woman is at heart a
+decadent. Otto Weininger certainly thought so. I have always regretted
+that the male sex was precluded by prejudice from following their
+example. I regret somewhat acutely the desuetude of the periwig.
+
+So we can take an example from women--they are so often our theme, let
+them be our examples in a symbolical sense. If we choose, we too can
+remain young intellectually, sensitive to new impressions, new impulses
+and new revelations, whether of science or art. The Greeks of the fifth
+century, and even of the age of St. Paul, preserved their youth by
+cultivating the superb gift of curiosity, delightful anxiety about the
+present and future. William Morris once described the Whigs as careless
+of the past, ignorant of the present, and fearful of the future. Whatever
+your politics are, do not be like the Whigs as described by William
+Morris. Cultivate a feminine curiosity. I used to be told the old story
+of Blue Beard as a warning against that particular failing. I see in it
+a much profounder moral. It is the emancipation of woman; and asserts
+her right, if not to vote, at least to be curious. Her curiosity rid the
+world of a monster, and in her curiosity we see the nucleus of the new
+drama. That little blood-stained key unlocked for us the cupboard where
+the family skeleton had been left too long in the cold; it was time that
+he joined the festive board, or, at least, appeared on the boards: and
+now, I am glad to say, he has done so; and he is called new-fangled. Do
+not let us call things 'new-fangled.' New-fangled medicine probably
+saves fifty per cent. of the population from premature death. Do not
+speak of the 'crudity of youth.' Youth is sometimes crude. It is better
+than being rude. It is an error to mock at the single virtue a possible
+offender may possess. I observe that men of science remain younger
+intellectually, and even physically, than artists or men of letters. I
+believe it is because to them science is always full of surprises and
+fresh impressions. They know there is practically no end to their
+knowledge; and that in the study of science there is no decay, whatever
+they may detect in the crust of the earth or on the face of heaven. They
+are never satisfied with the past. They look to youth and its
+enthusiasms for realising their own dreams and developing their own
+hypotheses. And as there are great men of science to-day, so, too, there
+are great men of letters, great poets, and great painters, some of whose
+names you may not have heard. But when you do hear of them I beg of you
+not to regard any of them as symptoms of decay, even if their technique
+is elaborate and over-wrought. The _early_ work of every modern painter
+is over-elaborate and over-wrought, just as all the work of early
+painters is over-elaborate and over-wrought. Do not greet the dawn as
+though it were a lowering sunset. Listen, and, with William Blake, you
+may hear the sons of God shouting for joy. If your mind is bent on
+decay, read that neglected poet, Byron. He thought the romantic
+movement, of which he became the accidental centre, a symptom of decay.
+Read any period of history and its literature, and you will find the same
+cry reiterated. When you have read an old book go out and buy a new one.
+When you have sold your old masters, go out and buy new masters.
+Aladdin's maid is one of the wronged characters of legend. . . . Of the
+Pierian spring there are many fountains. Yet it is a spring which never
+runs dry; though it flows with greater freedom at one season than at
+another, with greater volume from one fountain than some other. In the
+glens of Parnassus there are hidden flowers always blooming; though, to
+the binoculars of the tourist, the mountain seems unusually barren. You
+will find that youth does not vanish with the rose, that you need never
+close the sweet-scented manuscript of love, science, art or literature.
+In them youth returns like daffodils that come before the swallow dares,
+and take the winds of March with beauty: or like the snapdragons which
+Cardinal Newman saw blossoming on the wall at Oxford, and which became
+for him the symbol of hope. For us they may stand as the symbol of
+realisation and the immortality of the human intellect, in which there
+has been no decay since the days of Tubal Cain.
+
+_To_ J. G. LEGGE, ESQ.
+
+
+
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