diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 3 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-8.txt | 11507 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-8.zip | bin | 0 -> 211250 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 519882 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h/16450-h.htm | 11591 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h/images/image01.jpg | bin | 0 -> 141963 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h/images/image01_thumb.jpg | bin | 0 -> 22496 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h/images/image02.jpg | bin | 0 -> 116185 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450-h/images/image02_thumb.jpg | bin | 0 -> 17929 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450.txt | 11507 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 16450.zip | bin | 0 -> 211165 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 |
13 files changed, 34621 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/16450-8.txt b/16450-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..534b52c --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11507 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent + +Author: S.M. Hussey + +Editor: Home Gordon + +Release Date: August 5, 2005 [EBook #16450] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +[Illustration: S.M. Hussey] + + + THE REMINISCENCES + + OF AN + + IRISH LAND AGENT + + BEING THOSE OF + + S.M. HUSSEY + + +_Compiled by_ HOME GORDON + +WITH TWO PORTRAITS + + +LONDON + +_DUCKWORTH AND COMPANY_ 3 HENRIETTA STREET, W.C. + +1904 + +Edinburgh: T. and A. CONSTABLE, Printers to His Majesty + + + + +PREFACE + + +Probably the first criticism on this book will be that it is colloquial. + +The reason for this lies in the fact that though Mr. Hussey has for two +generations been one of the most noted raconteurs in Ireland, he has +never been addicted to writing, and for that reason has always declined +to arrange his memoirs, though several times approached by publishers +and strongly urged to do so by his friends, notably Mr. Froude and Mr. +John Bright. If his reminiscences are to be at all characteristic they +must be conversational, and it is as a talker that he himself at length +consents to appear in print. + +In this volume he endeavours to supply some view of his own country as +it has impressed itself on 'the most abused man in Ireland,' as Lord +James of Hereford characterised Mr. Hussey. How little practical effect +several attacks on his life and scores of threatening letters have had +on him is shown by the fact that he survives at the age of eighty to +express the wish that his recollections may open the eyes of many as +well as prove diverting. + +Possessing a retentive memory, he has been further able to assist me +with seven large volumes of newspaper cuttings which he had collected +since 1853, while the publishers kindly permit the use of two articles +he contributed to _Murray's Magazine_ in May and July 1887. To me the +preparation of this book has been a delightful task, materially helped +by Mr. Hussey's family as well as by a few others on either side of the +Channel. + +HOME GORDON. + +13 OVINGTON SQUARE, S.W. + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + PREFACE v + + + CHAP. + I. ANCESTRY i + + II. PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS 10 + + III. EDUCATION 20 + + IV. FARMING 30 + + V. LAND AGENT IN CORK 38 + + VI. FAMINE AND FEVER 50 + + VII. FENIANISM 60 + + VIII. MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES 71 + + IX. THE HARENC ESTATE 82 + + X. KERRY ELECTIONS 93 + + XI. DRINK 101 + + XII. PRIESTS 115 + + XIII. CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS 127 + + XIV. IRISH CHARACTERISTICS 140 + + XV. LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES 162 + + XVI. GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION 179 + + XVII. THE STATE OF KERRY 194 + + XVIII. A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP 202 + + XIX. MURDER, OUTRAGE, AND CRIME 212 + + XX. THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE 235 + + XXI. MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES 248 + + XXII. COMMISSIONS 268 + + XXIII. LATER DAYS 281 + + INDEX 305 + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + +PORTRAIT OF S.M. HUSSEY _frontispiece_ + +PORTRAIT OF MRS. HUSSEY _at p. 71_ + + + + + + + +REMINISCENCES OF AN IRISH LAND AGENT + + + + +CHAPTER I + +ANCESTRY + + +'My father and mother were both Kerry men,' as the saying goes in my +native land, and better never stepped. + +It was my misfortune, but not my fault, that I was born at Bath and not +in Kerry. + +However, my earliest recollection is of Dingle, for I was only three +months old when I was taken back to Ireland, and up to that time I did +not study the English question very deeply, especially as I had an Irish +nurse. + +There is a lot of Hussey history before I was born, and some is worth +preserving here. + +It is a thousand pities that so many details of family history have been +lost, and to my mind it is incumbent on one member of every reasonably +old family in this generation to collect and set down what should be +remembered about their ancestors for the unborn to come. + +My contribution does not profess to be very exhaustive, but it will +serve for want of a better. + +When a man claims to be descended from Irish kings, it generally means +that his forbears were bigger scoundrels than he is, for they were +cattle-lifters and marauders, whilst his depredations are probably +disguised under some of the many insidious forms of finance. Just as +every Scotsman is not canny and every American is not cute, so every +Irishman is not what the Saxon believes him to be. But there can be +little doubt what type of men these ancient Irish sovereigns were, and I +regretfully confess I cannot trace my descent from them. + +The family of Hussey was of English extraction, according to that rather +valuable book _The Antient and Present State of the County of Kerry_, by +Charles Smith, 1756--the companion volumes dealing with Cork and +Waterford are much less precious. Personally I always understood that +the Husseys hailed from Normandy, as will be seen a few pages on, but +tradition on such a point is not of much value. + +Anyway the family of Hussey settled in very early times at Dingle, and +also had several lands and castles in the barony of Corkaquiny. + +Dingle was the only town in this barony, and it was incorporated by +Queen Elizabeth in 1585, when she granted it the same privileges which +were enjoyed by Drogheda, with a superiority over the harbours of Ventry +and Smerwick. The Virgin Sovereign also presented the town with £300 for +the purpose of making a wall round it. + +The Irish formerly called Dingle Daingean in Cushy, or the fastness of +the Husseys. One of the FitzGeralds, Earl of Desmond, had granted to an +ancestor of my own a considerable tract of land in these parts, namely, +from Castle-Drum to Dingle, or as others say, he gave him as much as he +could walk over in his jackboots in one day. That Hussey built a castle, +said to be the first erected at Dingle, the vaults of which were +afterwards used as the county gaol. + +There is mention of this in the grant of a charter to Dingle by King +James I. in the fourth year of his reign: 'The house of John Hussey +granted for a gaol and common hall to the corporation.' + +A grim interest lurks in the fact that the dedication of Smith's +_History_ to Lord Newport, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, recites that +'this Kingdom, my lord, is a kind of Terra Incognita to the greater part +of Europe.' + +Is it not so to this day? + +Do I not meet scores of people who tell me they would love to go to +Kerry, but they have never been nearer than Killarney. + +That is the sort of speech which makes me wonder how geography is +taught. + +It is on a par with the remark of a prominent Arctic explorer, that he +had never been to Killarney because it was so far off. + +People, however, who go there apparently like it. + +The chief Elizabethan settlers in Kerry were William and Charles +Herbert, Valentine Brown, ancestor of the Kenmares, Edmund Denny, and +Captain Conway, whose daughter Avis married Robert Blennerhasset, while +a little later, in 1600, John Crosbie was made Bishop of Ardfert and +Aghadoe. + +To-day the descendants of those settlers are still among the principal +folk in Kerry, though that is more due to their own selves than to the +support they had from any British Government. + +This Valentine Brown, who was a worshipful and valiant knight, wrote a +discourse for settling Munster in 1584. His plan was to exterminate the +FitzGeralds and to protestantise Ireland; but by the irony of fate his +own son married a daughter of the Earl of Desmond and became a Roman +Catholic. + +In the Carew Manuscript it is recorded that he estimated that one +constable and six men would suffice for Cork, but for Ventry, 'a large +harbour near Dingle,' one constable and fifty men were necessary; so he +evidently had a clear apprehension of the villainous capabilities of the +men of Kerry. + +It is also recorded that in the parish of Killiney is a stronghold +called Castle Gregory, which before the wars of 1641 was possessed by +Walter Hussey, who was proprietor of the Magheries and Ballybeggan. +Having a considerable party under his command, he made a garrison of his +castle, whence having been long pressed by Cromwell's forces, he escaped +in the night with all his men, and got into Minard Castle, in which he +was closely beset by Colonels Lehunt and Sadler. After some time had +been spent, the English observing that the besieged were making use of +pewter bullets, powder was laid under the vaults of the castle, and both +Walter Hussey and his men were blown up. + +Prior to this, 'on January 31, 1641, Walter Hussey, with Florence +MacCarthy and others, attacked Ballybeggan Castle, plundered and burnt +the house of Mr. Henry Huddleston, and did the same to the house and +haggards of Mr. Hore, where they built an engine called a saw, having +its three sides made musket-proof with boards. It was drawn on four +wheels, each a foot high, with folding doors to open inwards and several +loopholes to shoot through, without a floor, so that ten or twelve men +who went therein might drive it forwards. These machines were set +against castle walls whilst the men within them attempted to make a +breach with crows and pickaxes.' + +Infernal machines are, after all, not confined to our own times, and +this same rascally ancestor of my own appears to have had predatory +habits more likely to be appreciated by his followers than by his foes. + + +Dingle is now a somewhat dilapidated town, but that was not always the +case, for it is mentioned in my dear old friend Froude's _History of +England_ that the then Earl of Desmond called on the ambassador of +Charles V. at his lodgings in Dingle. The old records of the place would +be worth diligent antiquarian research, a matter even more difficult in +Ireland than elsewhere. Should all be brought to light, I fancy the part +played by my family would not grow smaller. + +The Husseys spread away over the county, after having their lands +forfeited under both Elizabeth and Cromwell, which was the most +respectable thing to suffer in those times. In the reign of Queen Anne, +Colonel Maurice Hussey sold Cahirnane to the Herberts, and there is a +garden still called Hussey's Garden in the property. He built a mortuary +chapel for himself on the top of a small hill just outside the gates of +Muckross, where his own grave near that beautiful abbey can be seen to +this day. + +This Colonel Maurice Hussey resided for some time in England, and +appears to have married an English lady; and it is odd that though a +Roman Catholic he was trusted by the Governments of both William and +Anne. There seems to have been something versatile about his rather +mysterious career, the key to which may be found in the surmise that +until the accession of King George he was a Jacobite at heart; which +throws some doubt on his assertion in a letter that there are very few +Tories--or outlaws--in Kerry, where the Whig rule was never enforced +with great severity. He was, however, committed to 'Trally jail' (_i.e._ +Tralee) on the fear of a landing by the Pretender, whence he wrote +pleading letters, in one of which he mentions that his son-in-law, +MacCartie, has taken the oaths of abjuration; and later, when released, +he seems to have been disturbed at the large number of German +Protestants, driven out of the Palatinate by Louis the Fourteenth, who +settled at Bally M'Elligott. + +Any one who rambles about Dingle and investigates the older buildings, +so carefully examined by Mr. Hitchcock, will notice how frequent is the +emblem of a tree; and that is a conspicuous feature of the Hussey +armorial bearings. + +With reference to the allusions made in Smith's book to my ancestors, it +may be pointed out that he repeated the popular tradition at the very +time when the Husseys, like the rest of their fellow Catholics all over +the country, were disinherited and depressed, and when he could gain +nothing by doing them honour. + +As for my name, it seems to have really been Norman, and to have been De +La Huse, De La Hoese, and later Husee, Huse, and, finally, Hussey. + +Burke in his extinct _Peerage_ states that Sir Hugh Husse came to +Ireland, 17 Hen. II., and married the sister of Theobald FitzWalter, +first Butler of Ireland, and that he died seized of large possessions in +Meath. His son married the daughter of Hugh de Lacy, senior Earl of +Ulster, and their great-grandson, Sir John Hussey, Knight, first Earl of +Galtrim, was summoned to Parliament in 1374. + +Moreover, the State Papers in the Public Record Office, quoted in the +_Journal of the Royal Society of Irish Antiquaries_ for September 1893, +p. 266, prove beyond question that Nicholas de Huse or Hussy and his +father, Herbert de Huse, were land-owners of some importance in Kerry in +1307. Stirring times they must have been, of which we have no fiction +under the guise of history, though then men had to fight hard to +preserve their lives and maintain their dignity. We can imagine the +tussle, even in these degenerate days when no challenge follows the +exchange of insults, even in the House of Commons, and when the +perpetration of the most cowardly outrage in Ireland has to be induced +by preliminary potations of whisky. Of course, those old times were bad +times, but the badness was at least above board and the warfare pretty +stoutly waged. There is some sense in fighting your foe hand to hand, +but to-day when a battle is contested by armies which never see one +another, and are decimated by silent bullets, the courage needed is of a +different character, and the wicked murder of such combats is obvious. + +But let us quit war and confiscation for the equally stormy region known +as politics, wherein it may be noted that in 1613 Michael Hussey was +Member of Parliament for Dingle. + +Now for a coincidence in Christian names. + +Only two Husseys forfeited in the Desmond Rebellion, and they were John +and Maurice. + +In the Irish Parliament of James II., when Kerry returned eight members, +two of them were Husseys, and their names were John and Maurice. + +My grandfather's name was John, and his father before him was Maurice, +and I christened my two surviving sons John and Maurice. + +We do not go in for much variety of nomenclature in our family. + +My grandfather, John Hussey, lived at Dingle, his mother being a member +of the well-known Galway family of Bodkin. He was an offshoot of the +Walter Hussey who had been converted into an animated projectile by the +underground machinations of Cromwell's colonels. He was a very little +man, who had a landed property at Dingle, did nothing in particular, and +received the usual pompous eulogy on his tombstone. I never heard that +he left any papers or diaries, and I do not think that he ever went out +of Kerry--he had too much sense. + +A rather diverting story in which his sister was the heroine may be +worth telling, if only because it was so characteristic of the period. + +In those days, as now, Husseys and Dennys were closely associated, and +both my great-aunt and Miss Denny, known locally as the 'Princess +Royal,' were going to a ball. At that time it was the fashion for the +girls of the period to wear muslin skirts edged with black velvet. The +muslin was easily procured; not so the velvet, which was eventually +obtained by sacrificing an ancient pair of nether garments belonging to +my great-grandfather. + +After the early dinner then fashionable, each of the damsels was +departing for the Castle, with a swain at the door of her sedan-chair, +when our kinswoman, Lady Donoughmore, who was on the door-step watching +them off, enthusiastically shouted:-- + +'Success to the breeches! Success to the breeches!' + +Imagine the horrified confusion of the poor 'Princess Royal,' not then +eighteen. + +This episode reminds me of the modern Scottish story of a tiresome small +boy who wanted more cake at a tea-party, and threatened his parents with +dire revelations if they did not comply with his demands. As they showed +no signs of intimidation, he banged on the table to obtain attention, +and then announced:-- + +'Ma new breeks are made out of the winter curtains.' + +An incident connected with one of the earliest private carriages in +Kerry is worth telling. The vehicle in question had just been purchased +by a certain Miss Mullins, daughter of a former Lord Ventry, who +regarded it on its arrival with almost sacred awe. A dance in the +neighbourhood seemed an appropriate opportunity for impressing the +county with her newly acquired grandeur, but the night proving wet, she +insisted on reverting to a former mode of progression, and rode pillion +behind her coachman. + +The result was that she caught a violent chill, which turned to +pneumonia, and as her relatives were assembled round her deathbed, the +old lady exclaimed, between her last gasps for breath:-- + +'Thank God I never took out the carriage that wet night.' + + + + +CHAPTER II + +PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS + + +My father, Peter Bodkin Hussey, was for a long time a barrister at the +Irish Bar, practising in the Four Courts, where more untruths are spoken +than anywhere else in the three kingdoms, except in the House of Commons +during an Irish debate. All law in Ireland is a grave temptation to +lying, and the greatest number of Courts produced a stupendous amount of +mendacity--or it was so in earlier times, at all events. + +Did you ever hear the tale of the old woman who came to Daniel +O'Connell, outside the Four Courts, as he was walking down the steps, +and said to him:-- + +'Would your honour be so kind as to tell me the name of an honest +attorney?' + +The Liberator stopped, scratched his head in a perplexed way, and +replied:-- + +'Well now, ma'am, you bate me intoirely.' + +My father had red hair, and was very impetuous. Therefore he was +christened 'Red Precipitate' by Jerry Kellegher. + +This legal luminary was a noted wit even at the Irish Bar of that time, +a confraternity where humour was almost as rampant as +creditors--irresponsible fun, and a light purse are generally allied; +your wealthy fellow has too much care for his gold to have spirits to be +mirthful. + +The tales about him are endless. Here are just a few I have heard from +my father's lips. + +Jerry had a cousin, a wine merchant, who supplied the Bar mess, and a +complaint was lodged that the bottles were very small. + +To which Jerry retorted:-- + +'You idiot, don't you know they shrink in the washing,' which satisfied +the grumbler. And that always seemed to me the strangest part of the +story. + +In those days religious feeling ran pretty high--I will not go so far as +to say it has entirely died down to-day--and the usual Protestant toast +was:-- + +'The Pope, the Devil, and the Pretender.' + +Now, Jerry was a Roman Catholic, none the less earnest because he had a +merry way with him. On a certain Friday he was seen to be fasting by a +very foppish barrister, who thought a great deal of himself. + +He remarked to Jerry, with unnecessary impertinence:-- + +'Sir, it appears you have some of the Pope in your stomach.' + +To which Jerry, quick as a pistol-shot, retorted:-- + +'And you have the whole of the Pretender in your head,' after which +there was the devil to pay. + +There was a certain Chancellor in Ireland who was born a few years after +his father and mother had separated. As he did not like Jerry, he used +to make a great fuss about how he should pronounce his name. At last in +Court one day he burst out:-- + +'Pray tell me what you wish me to call you--Mr. Kellegher, or Mr. +Kellaire?' + +'Call me anything you like, my lud, so long as you call me born in +wedlock.' + +The Chancellor did not score that time. + +At one time there were grave complaints made about the light-hearted way +in which Jerry handled his cases, and his practice fell off. He was +conversing with a very stupid judge, lately elevated to the Bench, and +observed:-- + +'It's a very extraordinary world: you have risen by your gravity, and I +have fallen by my levity.' + +He had a son who, in my time, had a large practice at the Bar, but I +never came across him, nor did I ever hear that there was anything +remarkable about him, except that he was not so witty as his father, +which was not wonderful. + +After all, as Jerry was before my own experience, I must not delay over +him, so I will only give one more tale about him, and pass on. + +When Lord Avonmore got his peerage for voting for the Union, he had his +patent of nobility read out at a dinner-party, and it commenced, +'George, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.' + +'Stop,' cried Jerry, 'I object to that. The consideration is set out too +early in the deed.' + +This long digression over, I revert to my father about whose respectable +practice at the Four Courts I know nothing except that he allowed others +to become judges, and did not find solicitors putting his services up to +auction. + +By the death of his elder brother, he succeeded to a property, near +Dingle, on which he went to live and then got married, which was the +wisest thing that he could do. + +My mother was Mary Hickson, and her descent was this wise. + +The Murrays were said to have come to Scotland from Moravia in the first +century; and a pretty bulky history of the clan reveals as much truth +about them as the author cared to put in when tired of inventing less +probable facts. Sir Walter Murray, Lord of Drumshegrat, came to Ireland +with Edward de Bruce and was killed in battle, leaving three sons, one +of whom, christened Andrew, settled in County Down. Some of his +descendants migrated to Bantry, where, in 1670, William Murray married +Ann Hornswell, and was succeeded by his third son George, who was in +turn succeeded by his eldest son William, who married Anne Grainger. Of +the marriage, there was only one daughter Judith, who married Robert +Hickson, heir to the property. + +They had five sons and two daughters, the younger of whom married Sir +William Cox, and the elder my father. + +The superior of my dear mother never drew the breath of life. She lived +until I was twenty-five, and I never met any man who could say more than +I could for my mother, though equalled by what my own sons could say of +theirs, and she too came of the same stock, for I married my first +cousin, Julia Agnes Hickson. It is said no man is thoroughly happy until +he is suitably married, an opinion I absolutely endorse; but happiness +so great as my married life is not of public interest, and if it were, I +should not wear my heart on my sleeve for general inspection. Any +tribute from me to my dear wife would be superfluous; the devoted love +of our children has been the endorsement by the next generation of the +feelings which I have always felt towards her. + +She was the daughter of my mother's eldest brother, John Hickson, called +the Sovereign of Dingle. He had powers to collect customs, to hold a +court, and to try cases in much the same way that a lord provost had. + +On one occasion when a case was to be tried, two attorneys appeared from +the town of Tralee, about thirty miles off. Now John Hickson had his own +ideas about the attorneys of those days--ideas such as all honest men +had, but dared not express. So he sent a crier through the town to say +that the court was adjourned for a fortnight. When the appointed day +arrived, the attorneys arrived also, so again the melodious tones of the +crier proclaimed through the town that the court was adjourned for yet +another fortnight, Captain Hickson remarking to his wife that he was not +going to be helped to administer justice by those who earned their +living on injustice. The attorneys gave it up in despair, leaving +Captain Hickson to lay down the law as he liked, and to do him justice, +his ideas were more conducive to peace and order than the arguments of +Irish attorneys generally are. + +He was loved and revered by the people, so that when the cholera raged +in 1833 and 1834, and the constabulary were ordered to go into the +houses to remove the corpses (this to prevent the people 'waking' the +dead, and so spreading the contagion), they dared not enter the cabins +unless Captain Hickson went with them, as the people were so enraged at +their dead being molested that they would have killed the police. +Fortunately Captain Hickson had enough moral influence to make the +people obey the law. + +In the eighties he would have been shot in the back by some scoundrel +who had primed himself with Dutch courage from adulterated whisky. + +He raised a Yeomanry Corps at the time of the Whiteboys to guard the +country against these lawless bands, and against the dreaded French +invasion. This regiment was called the Dingle Yeomanry, and the tales +about it are many. + +On one occasion when Captain Hickson was in London, the general from +Dublin inspected the corps. In the absence of the commanding officer, +his brother was ordered to parade the battalion, and being a nervous +young man, he completely forgot all the words of command, so to the +unconcealed amusement of the old martinet from the capital, he +shouted:-- + +'Boys, do as you always do.' + +It says well for the discipline of the regiment that they did not +implicitly obey the order. + +His mother, this Mrs. Judith Hickson, was the only one of my +grand-parents I ever saw, and very little impression she has left on my +memory, except a notion that she had less sense of humour than pertains +to most Irishwomen by the blessing of God and their own mother wit. + +My father was a Roman Catholic, and my mother a Protestant. By the terms +of the marriage settlement, we were all brought up in her faith, which +occasioned a tremendous row at that time, and nowadays would never be +tolerated by the priests. + +All the same my father was an obstinate man, not disposed to care much +for the whole College of Cardinals, and indifferent if he were cursed +with bell and book. Of course he was not a good-tempered man, or he +would not have justified his nickname of Red Precipitate, but he spared +the rod with me, and failed to keep me in order. I was the youngest of a +pretty large family and the pet into the bargain. + +My eldest brother, John, was drowned at St. Malo. He was unmarried, and +his profession was to do nothing as handsomely as he could. + +James was in the 13th Light Dragoons, and subsequently in the 11th. He +saw no service, and was an excellent soldier at mess and off duty. I am +not qualified to speak with authority about his fulfilment of the +trumpery trivialities which fill up garrison life, but here is one +anecdote about him. + +Soon after Lord Cardigan took command of the 13th Light Dragoons, a +great many of the officers left the corps, and a man wrote to the papers +to say that this was chiefly due to the great expense of the mess. + +My brother retorted in print that for his part the reason was due to its +being 'incompatible with my feelings as a gentleman to remain in the +regiment as it is equally impossible to exchange out of a regiment that +has the undeserved misfortune to be commanded by his lordship.' + +Edward lived at Dingle, and was much liked by the people there. He was +an active magistrate and a conscientious man. He married and left two +sons, one in the Horse Artillery and the other a colonel in the +Engineers. They have all joined the great majority. + +Robert, who chose to be an army surgeon, died in India, leaving me +without a relation in the world of my own name. + +It reminds me of the story in _Charles O'Malley_ about the old family in +which it was hereditary not to have any children. However, I altered +that by having eleven of my own, two sons, John and Maurice, and four +daughters being alive, at the present time. More power to them say I, in +the current phrase of good-will in Kerry. + +My sister Mary died at Bath when I was born. It was her health which +prevented me from being by birth what I am at heart, a Kerry man. + +Ellen was married to Robert, elder brother of the late Knight of Kerry, +and her grand-daughter is married to Colonel Thorneycroft of Spion Kop +fame. + +Ellen's sister, Julia, married Sir Peter FitzGerald, Knight of Kerry. +The two therefore married brothers, and if there had been any more they +might have done the same. + +I suppose I ought to give the date of my birth, but despite all the +efforts of those in Ireland, who loved me so much that they became +active agents to convey me to heaven, I cannot yet give you the date of +my death. + +My friend, Mr. Townshend Trench, is, I believe, writing a book to prove +the world will come to an end in about thirty years' time, but that will +see me out, and those then alive may discover that the Great Landlord +has given the tenants an extension of the lease of the earth. + +I was born on December 17, 1824, and I have none of those infantile +recollections which are such an insult on the general attention when put +in print. + +Still my earliest memory is so characteristic of much that was to follow +that I set it down. + +The very first thing I remember is being placed on the seat of a trap +beside the local R.M. (Resident Magistrate), and thus going out, +escorted by a party of soldiers, to collect tithes. + +I clapped my hands with glee, but an old woman by the road-side said +that it was a shame to take out that innocent babe on such bloodthirsty +work. + +I could ride before I could walk, and was always fond of the exercise. +What Irishman is not? + +My taste for this was fostered by my father, who had broken his leg when +young, and not only disliked walking, but had a slight limp, which did +not prevent him being in the saddle for many hours each day. + +As a child, I led a fresh, natural, out-of-doors, healthy life, exposed +to wind and rain, and all the better for both. There are very few trees +about Dingle, and I quite agree with the remark of an American that it +was the most open country he had ever seen. + +I was always bathing, but I never got drowned, not even in liquor, +although I have sat with some of the best in that capacity. I have +myself been pretty temperate in everything, to which I attribute my +longevity. And yet I am not sure that any rule can be laid down in this +respect, for I have known men who saturated themselves in alcohol until +they ought to have been kept out of sight of all decent people live +longer than those that have kept straight in every way. + +In proof of this, let me quote the delightful account of a centagenarian +out of Smith's _History of Kerry_, a book already referred to, and which +can now be finally put back on its shelf, dry as dust, as Carlyle might +say, 'but pregnant with food for thought, ay, and for grim +mirth,'--those are not exactly the words of the Sage of Chelsea, but +just have the rub of his tongue about them. + +'Mr. Daniel MacCarty died in February 1751,' as the account said, 'in +the 112th year of his age. He lived during his whole life in the barony +of Iveragh, and buried four wives. He married a fifth in the +eighty-fourth year of his age, and she but a girl of fourteen, by whom +he had several children. He was always a very healthy man, no cold ever +affecting him, and he could not bear the warmth of a shirt at night, but +put it under his pillow. He drank for many of the last years of his life +great quantities of rum and brandy, which he called _the naked truth_; +and if, in compliance to other gentlemen, he drank claret or punch, he +always took an equal quantity of spirits to qualify those liquors: this +he called a wedge. No man ever saw him spit. His custom was to walk +eight or ten miles in a winter's morning over mountains with greyhounds +and finders, and he seldom failed to bring home a brace of hares. He was +an innocent man, and inherited the social virtues of the antient +Milesians. He was of a florid complexion, looked amazingly well for a +person of his age and manners of life, for his use of spirituous liquors +was prodigious, a custom that much prevails in these baronies.' + +Indeed, no one who was slightly acquainted with the characteristics of +the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Kerry would suggest that total +abstinence was even to-day their predominant virtue. + +It is the fashion to say that it is a good thing to be one of a large +family. From a financial point of view I am quite certain that the +reverse is preferable, and as I was the youngest of nine--two others +besides those I mentioned, James and Anne, coming to early demises--I +received as many kicks and cuffs from my brethren as I did halfpence and +affection from my parents. So, like Thackeray, as a child I sympathised +with Lord MacTurk who wished to cut off the heads of his brethren. Now I +have survived them all, and I fondly regret the sounds of voices that +are still. + +But as I sit in my arm-chair and ruminate over the past, which every old +man must do in the intervals of reading the _Times_, going to the club, +or losing his money by careful attention to speculation, I have the +consolation of remembering that I did as much mischief as any other +child. To be a really good child means that the animal is a prig or +unhealthy. To-day I am fond of all my grandchildren, but the one I like +best is the one which proves himself or herself the naughtiest for the +moment. + +This is a hard saying for parents, and not a good precept for the young, +but there is solid truth in it and a bit of common-sense too, for it is +best to get the original sin out in the years of innocence. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +EDUCATION + + +Perhaps the biggest wrench in life is going to school. It may not seem +so very much afterwards--as the boy said of the tooth when he looked at +it in the dentist's forceps--but the wrench is really bad. + +I learned my letters from my mother, and picked up a few other +smatterings before I had daily lessons from a tutor at Dingle. Strange +to say, a very good classical education could have been obtained there +in the thirties, better, so far as I can estimate, than could have been +expected from a town double the size at the same period in England. + +At the age of ten I was sent to Huddard's, then a very sound school in +Dublin. I was well enough taught, not caned enough for my deserts, +though more than sufficed for my feelings, and sufficiently fed, but at +the end of two years I had to leave owing to ill health. + +An apothecary, who selfishly recollected that the more medicines I took +the better for him if not for me, converted me into a human receptacle +for his empirical abominations, but another surgeon, who was rather +tardily called in, packed me off to the country. + +One of the leading Dublin physicians certified that I had only one lung; +but as the other has served me faithfully for sixty-nine years, I am +rather sceptical as to the accuracy of his diagnosis. + +I remember very little about Huddard's, except that it was in Mountjoy +Square, and about a hundred boys were herded there in unsought +proximity. We boarders always fought the town boys, but also had to +cajole them in humiliating ways to smuggle us in contraband articles of +food. The meals at Huddard's were fairly good, no doubt, as school fare +goes, but the sugary stick-jaw stuff for which the soul of a boy longs +was naturally not part of the official bill of fare. The bullying was of +a reasonable nature, or at all events I could hold my own with the best +of them, being indifferent to punishment so long as I could hit out +effectively from the shoulder. One of the ushers, a dwarf of malignant +disposition, was an awful tyrant, and we always had an ardent desire to +tar and feather him, only we did not know how to set about the operation +even if we had ventured to attempt it. + +After a happy interval of convalescence at home, I was sent to a smaller +school kept by Mr. Hogg at Limerick. One of the boys there subsequently +became that illustrious ornament of the Bench, Lord Justice Barry. + +He was a very eloquent man, counted so even at the Irish Bar, where a +certain high-flown loquacity is pretty prevalent, and had a great +repute. He arrived at Cork once, and had to fight his way through a +dense throng to get into court. On inquiring the reason of the crowd, he +was told that everybody wanted to hear the big speech that was expected +from Councillor Barry. + +'Well, unless you make way for me it's disappointed every mother's son +of you will be, for I am twin to Councillor Barry, and I never heard +tell he had a brother.' + +He carried on the old-fashioned habit of after-dinner conviviality, and +used to sit drinking three hours after the wine had been put on the +table, which was why I never accepted his hospitality in after years, +for, as I said before, I am a man of moderation. + +In my young days it was the regular thing to bring in whisky-punch after +dinner; and for many years I regularly took one tumbler and never had a +second, not once to the best of my recollection. + +There is a good deal of change in the habits of life. When I was a boy +coffee was unknown for breakfast, cocoa had not become known as a +beverage, and tea was regularly drunk. We seldom took lunch, nor did the +ladies, and afternoon tea was unheard of. Instead, tea was brought into +the drawing-room about eight in the evening, and was always drunk very +weak and sweet. In those times it was invariably from China and pretty +costly. + +We dined at five. Dinners were very solid. Soup was a pretty regular +opening, but could be dispensed with without comment, and it was almost +always greasy. At Dingle fish was pretty plentiful, but sweets were +regarded as a great extravagance. + +I remember, when grown up, dining with an elderly man near Cahirciveen, +who had a turbot for which he must have paid at least eight shillings, +but he apologised for not having a pudding on account of the necessity +for economy, though a pudding would not have cost him eightpence. + +Made dishes were very few and badly cooked. The food was chiefly joints, +and, in nine cases out of ten, roast mutton. Vegetables were not so much +eaten as now, always excepting potatoes, which were consumed in large +quantities. There was practically no fruit, except a few apples and +oranges at Christmas. + +Men sat very long over their wine. Sherry used to be served at dinner +and often claret afterwards, but the great beverage was port. I am +inclined to think that port has sensibly deteriorated since my young +days. It was as a rule more fruity then, but we never talked of our +livers, as subalterns and undergraduates do nowadays. + +Port used to come direct to Dingle. It was an easy harbour 'to run,' and +there was some smuggling. + +On one occasion some soldiers were sent to protect the gauger, who was +bent on making an important seizure. A few of the inhabitants of Dingle +took the opportunity of entertaining the officer, and whilst he +slumbered from the effects of their hospitality, the opportunity for +making the seizure was lost. + +There is no particular reason why I should tell the following story +here, but it is worth recording, and I don't know any other part of my +reminiscences where it is more likely to slip in appropriately. + +In Kerry in 1815, the farmers had been an extra long time fattening up +their pigs. After the Peace, prices all fell, and though the farmers +were reluctant, they had to yield to circumstances. One day the dealers +were buying at extremely low rates in Tralee market, when the postman +brought the news that Napoleon had escaped from Elba. + +Instantly all the farmers broke off their bargains, and proceeded to +start homeward with their swine, shouting:-- + +'Hurrah for Boney that rose the pigs.' + +My mother often told me of this scene, which she herself witnessed. + +There was always a distinct sympathy with France, owing to the smuggling +from that land, and after the English had prohibited the exportation of +wool, it was smuggled into France, whence were brought back silks and +brandy. + +The geography of Kerry is ideal for landing contraband store, and I +should say even more was done in this respect locally than on the coast +of Scotland. + +There is a certain amount of good-will between people whose mutual +interests are similar until they fall out, and the hope of a French +landing in Ireland, though never very serious, always fanned the native +disaffection to the Government in the West. + +The veracity of an Irishman is never considerable, for as a rule he will +say what he thinks likely to please you rather than state any unpleasant +fact. Of course the gauger--excise officer--was an especially unpopular +personage, and I doubt if a tithe of the lies told to him were ever +considered worthy of being confessed at all. + +O'Connell's family made much money by smuggling, which was a pursuit +that carried not the slightest moral reproach. Indeed 'to go agin the +Government' in any sort of way has always been an act of +super-excellence. + +The most lucrative side of the commercial enterprises of Morgan +O'Connell was his trade in contraband goods. In Derrynane Bay, he and +his brother landed cargoes which were sent over the hills on horses' +backs to receivers in Tralee. + +Of O'Connell himself most stories have been told, but it is difficult to +indicate the enormous influence he had over the lower classes in his own +country. + +Years before George IV. had aptly expressed the situation amid his +maudlin tears over Catholic emancipation. + +'Wellington is King of England, O'Connell is King of Ireland, and I +suppose I'm only considered Dean of Windsor.' + +As an advocate, the Liberator had many of the attributes of Kenealy, and +his popularity was so great that he was often briefed in every case at +an assize. + +There is no doubt that he bullied judges, was allowed enormous laxity in +browbeating opposing counsel and witnesses, and, like Father O'Flynn, +had a wonderful way with him, so far as the jury was concerned. + +When I saw him in Dublin, I at once realised how true must be the bulk +of the stories of his great conceit. He has been elevated into a +superhuman being by the posthumous praise of hundreds of blatant mob +orators. + +Dan had two brothers, John and James. The latter was the first baronet, +and noted for his witty sayings. + +He presided at a dinner given for the purpose of presenting an address +to the manager of a bank. On the toast of the Army and Navy being +proposed, the only man who could return thanks for the former was a +solicitor named Murphy, who said that if he were forced to respond to +the toast, it clearly proved what a peaceful community they lived in, +adding:-- + +'It is such a long time since I laid by the sash and the sword, that I +have forgotten my drill.' + +'But you have never forgotten the charge,' observed the chairman, who +had a long bill from Murphy in his pocket at the time. + +On another occasion, a lady spoke to James about subscribing to the +Roman Catholic Cathedral at Killarney. + +'For my part,' she observed, 'it's little I can do in my lifetime, but I +have left all my money for the good of my soul.' + +'I believe, ma'am,' says James, 'you were an original shareholder in the +Provincial Bank. The shares are now quoted at eighty and they pay six +per cent. That is very much like twenty-one per cent. on the original +capital.' + +'I am not a clever man like you at making these calculations,' replies +the lady; 'I have higher and holier things to think about.' + +'Don't say that again to me, ma'am,' says he. 'I put my money into +farms, and I get five per cent, from a grumbling and unsatisfactory set +of tenants. And what are you getting? Twenty-one per cent. in this world +and salvation in the next. It's the most damnable interest I ever heard +tell of, either in this world or any other.' + +Yet another tale about him. + +He had received an unconscionable bill of costs from an attorney, and +happening to meet a Roman Catholic bishop in Cork, he asked him if an +attorney could ever be saved. + +'Why not? Even an extortioner can be if he make ample restitution in his +life-time, and dies fortified with the rites of the Church.' + +'May be so, my lord,' replied Sir James, 'you know more about these +things than I do, but if it is as you say, you are taking a confounded +amount of unnecessary trouble about the rest of us.' + +The bishop was not a bit disconcerted. + +'I am an honest labourer striving to be worthy of my hire,' he +explained. + +And at that Sir James left it, because he said it was not respectful to +ask too many invidious questions about a man who had the making of your +soul at his own will. + +All this is a digression from my education, which was as desultory as +these reminiscences. + +After a spell at Limerick I was again sent home ill, and for six months +I really had to be treated as an invalid. I was always very fond of +books, notably history, and I think I have read pretty well every book +published upon the history of Ireland. It was at this time I began +teaching myself a bit, and that is the teaching which is better than any +other, except what one has to learn against one's own will and for one's +own advantage in the school of life. Like a good many other people I was +led to history not only by a shortage of lighter books at home, but also +by curiosity aroused by the novels of Sir Walter Scott. In the way of +promoting better reading, I believe Scott has been far more beneficial +than any other writer of fiction in English. + +I was for a short time at school in Exeter, and then at a rather rough +establishment at Woolwich, where my father wished me to have the tuition +in mathematics which could be obtained from the masters in the Academy +at irregular times. By all accounts the fagging and bullying in that +establishment were appalling. The headmaster of the school I was at was +an able fellow, and many of the cadets used to come to have a grind with +him. Some of their tales were 'hair-erectors,' as the Americans say. + +One new boy had the misfortune to sprain his ankle, and to incur the +fury of the head of dormitory on the same evening. The latter tied his +game ankle up to his thigh, and fastening him by the wrist to the bottom +of the bed, made him stand the better part of the night on his bad +ankle. + +This reminds me of the story of a certain royal prince going to an +educational establishment and being asked who his parents were. On his +reply, the senior--or 'John'--gave him a terrific _cuff_ on the side of +the head saying:-- + +'That's for your father, the prince.' + +And before the half-stunned boy recovered, he received a stinging blow +on the other ear with:-- + +'That's for your mother, the princess, and now black my boots.' + +His Highness could say nothing, but in time he grew to be the biggest +and the worst bully. + +Then the younger brother of his former tormentor came, and the prince +sent for him, and telling him what his brother had done some years +before, made him bend down and flogged him so unmercifully that he had +to go into hospital. + +Years after, when in an important position, he met his former victim, +now a general, and congratulating him on his career said:-- + +'Perhaps I made your success by giving you that tanning at Sandhurst.' + +I wonder whether there was murder in the heart of the grim old warrior +at the recollection. Of course that would not be strange, for many a +time officers have been actually shot in action by their own men. + +Here is a perfectly true story, only neither the men nor the officer +need be specified. + +A colonel who had grossly mismanaged the regiment knew his fate was +sealed. + +So when the men paraded for the engagement, he said:-- + +'I know you mean to shoot me to-day, but for God's sake don't do so +until we have won the battle.' + +This was greeted with a cheer, and he came back safe to be decorated and +to play whist at his club as badly as any member in it. + +I am not sure that cards ought not to be considered part of every lad's +training. If a man goes through life without touching a card, he +probably loses a good deal of innocent amusement, and debars himself +from much pleasant society. If he learns to play when grown up, he may +find it a costly and unsatisfactory branch of education. But if he is +taught to play reasonably well as a boy, and is shown that excellent +games can be had without gambling--I do not consider an infinitesimal +stake, in proportion to his means, gambling--he will have an extra +amusement made for him and a relaxation after his day's work. + +A near relative of my own gets his club cronies to play bridge with his +son, aged eighteen, and pays his losses, in order that he may be +thoroughly grounded in the game. The lad is a capital boy, and all the +better for his early association with elder men on their own level. + +One of the resources of my old age is three games of picquet every night +after dinner with my wife, and very much I enjoy them. There is often +the fashionable bridge played in the room by my children and their +friends, but I have never taken a hand, though in younger days I derived +a fair amount of diversion from whist. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +FARMING + + +My years of schooling having come to an end, I was back in Ireland in +full enjoyment of youth, high spirits, and thoughtless carelessness. +These holiday times were delightful. I could be in the saddle all day if +I liked, was free to shoot or bathe as I pleased, had dogs at my +disposal, could pass the time of day with all sorts and conditions of +men--a thing which I have relished all my life--and in fact led the gay +existence of the younger offshoot of an Irish squire. + +In those days things were not so impecunious in Ireland as they +subsequently became, but there was always a vivacious Hibernian scorn +for false pretension, and a determination to have the best possible +time, such as you can read in Lever's novels of old, and the capital +tales of those two clever ladies, Miss Martin and Miss Somerville, +to-day. + +It is perfectly true that there are many Irish landlords in sporting +counties who cannot have three hundred a year, and yet all their sons +and daughters manage to hunt four days a week. + +This would be impossible out of Ireland, and is absolutely +incomprehensible even there; but the fact remains that it is done, and +all one can remark is to echo the patter of the conjuror:-- + +'Wonderful, isn't it?' + +I, however, was not destined to be left a derelict at home, as falls to +the hapless lot of far too many good fellows in Ireland. + +There were a good many family counsels, and the authorities could not +make up their minds what to do with me. However, I thought farming was +the idlest occupation, and suggested it should be my profession--an idea +hailed with rapture, principally because it saved everybody the trouble +of racking their brains about me. + +Personally, I have often regretted that what in modern phrase may be +called the 'Stevenson boom' did not coincide with my search for a +career. Big posts were in due time going for engineers; and those young +men who had the stamp of apprenticeship to, or association with, the +great man could get almost anything in the days of the fever for railway +construction. + +Even later than the period I am now recalling, the journey from Dublin +to Dingle would take more than two days, and, so far as I can recollect, +it certainly took five from Dingle to London. Those coaching journeys +were terrible experiences in wet weather, for you were drenched outside +and suffocated inside, whilst you paid more than three times the present +railway fare for the miserable privilege of this uncomfortable means of +transit. + +The old posting hotels used to be uncommonly good and comfortable, +whilst they did a thriving trade. The coach purported to give you ample +time to breakfast and dine at certain capital hostels, but by a private +arrangement between mine host and the guard and driver, the meals used +to be abruptly closured in order to save the landlord's larder. + +On the way down from Dublin, a thirty minutes' pause was allowed at Naas +for breakfast; but on the occasion of my story, as well as on every +other, after a quarter of an hour the waiter announced the coach was +just starting. + +Everybody ran out to regain their seats, except one commercial +traveller, who picked up all the teaspoons and put them in the teapot +before calmly resuming his meal. + +Back came the waiter with:-- + +'Not a moment to spare, sir.' + +'All right,' said the traveller; 'which of the passengers has taken the +teaspoons?' + +The waiter gave one glance of horror, and then proceeded to have every +one on the coach examined for the missing articles. + +By the time that the commercial traveller had calmly finished a hearty +meal there was nearly a riot, and then he emerged from the coffee-room, +and suggested that the waiter had better look in the teapot. + +By the way, I don't fancy that he regularly travelled on that road, for +he would have been a marked man at Naas for years to come. + +I was seventeen at the time when I had decided, with parental +acquiescence, to be a farmer, and I was sent to learn my profession to +the south of Scotland, to a farmer named Bogue. + +I there acquired, at all events, one curious fact, which has stuck in my +head ever since, and it is thus:-- + +Scotland and Ireland are governed by the same Sovereign, Lords, and +Commons. Scotland is the best farmed country in Europe, and Ireland +about the worst. + +One pair of horses in Scotland were then supposed to cultivate fifty +acres of tillage, and in Ireland the average was one horse to five +acres. Indeed it is in both cases much the same to-day. + +In reality a farm is a workshop from which you turn out as much produce +as possible. But on an Irish farm it is the habit to squeeze out the +last possible ounce without putting anything in, for it is not run with +an eye on future years, but only in a hand-to-mouth, beggar-the-soil +kind of way, without a thought beyond contemporary exigencies. + +There were several other pupils with Bogue, but I stuck to the business +more than the rest, who were perpetually gallivanting into Kelso, or +even going up to Edinburgh, where they learnt nothing which taught them +their trade or put money into their pockets. Therefore it happened that +I was selected by Bogue to have an excellent practical demonstration of +farming, after this wise. He had a pretty sharp illness, and left me for +a short time full management of all his six hundred acres, and that bit +of responsibility made a man of me once and for all. I stepped out of +boyhood instantly, and became an adult in feelings and bearing; but to +this day I hope my sense of fun is only keener than it was as a lad. + +I acquired a good deal of common sense in Scotland, and learnt to +observe for myself, a thing many men never acquire, and on their +deathbeds they will never be able to enumerate the opportunities they +have consequently lost. + +As I was to be a farmer, I thought it was no use to confine my attention +to the one I was on, but contracted the habit, when work was at all +slack, of going about to pick up what wrinkles I could from other +proprietors, as well as to make observations on my own account. + +Subsequently I have made two agricultural tours through Scotland for the +same purpose, getting as far north as Sutherland, in order to find out +how the Highland farmer dealt with more barren soil under a less +propitious climate. I have noted more improvement in farming in Ayrshire +in the interval than in any other county. Yet there is a letter in +existence by Burns in which he observes that Ayrshire lairds are getting +English and East Lothian notions about rents, and raising them so high +that it will soon be a wilderness. + +The fact is that the Scotsman is a farmer by nature, but the Irishman is +a farmer by inclination. + +An Irishman tries to exist on land cultivated by the minimum amount of +labour, and does not farm a bit better if his land is cheaper. + +Every farmer in Scotland and England is laying down his land in grass, +and giving up tillage as fast as he can. It is notorious that Ireland is +more suitable for pasture than tillage, and yet the Government have +constituted a Board to break up the rich grazing lands in Ireland and +divide them into small tillage farms, on which the tenants could not get +a decent living even if they had it free of rent and taxes. + +Old Bogue was a bachelor by profession, and his polygamistic tendencies +were duly concealed, though pretty generally known, as most things are +in the country. He had as housekeeper a woman so skinny that it made you +feel cold to look at her, and her disposition was on a par with her +appearance. Of course, it suited the national thrift, particularly +congenial to Bogue, to feed us meanly, but we did not relish her +parsimonious economies. + +There was one thing none of us might shirk, and that was regular +attendance at kirk on Sunday. I have been a church-going man all my +life--in my late years in London I have especially appreciated the +beautiful services at St. Anne's, Soho--but the kirk has always been the +breaking of precious ointment over an unworthy head, so far as I am +concerned. The improvised prayer, that is always so carefully prepared, +and is often one delivered in regular rotation, always seems to me +rather humbugging for that reason, and the tremendously long sermons, +which have a minimum of three quarters of an hour, no matter what the +text or the ability of the preacher, are to me a vexation of spirit. I +have occasionally heard good sermons in kirk, but I think the standard +of Scottish preaching has always been overrated. + +Moreover, I agree in the main with the American critic of sermons, who +said if a preacher can't strike ile in ten minutes he has got a bad +organ, or he is boring in the wrong place. It is always unfair to bore +in the pulpit, because the congregation have no means of retaliation +except by subsequently staying away, and in the country that is not +compatible with the public worship of their Maker. + +We have all heard the traditional stories about the divines who, having +found the sand of the hour-glass exhausted, calmly reversed it and +continued for a second spell, to the complete satisfaction of the +congregations. But in my experience only one preacher could have done +that without unendurably provoking me, and he was Archbishop Magee, of +whom I shall have something to say when I am dealing with County Cork. + +For the Scots in character I conceived much respect and little +enthusiasm. If there is anything more remarkable than the hard-working +powers of the Scottish farmer it is his capacity for hard drinking. But +that only makes him offensive in his brief conviviality and morose in +the long subsequent sulkiness. Whereas I defy you to be seriously angry +with a drunken Irishman, if you have a due sense of humour--and without +that you have lost the salt of life. To my mind there is something +austere in the better characteristics of the Scot, and also something +hypocritical about his morality. You always hear that professed in +Scotland, and never in Ireland. But in the latter fewer illegitimate +children are born than in any other country in Europe, and in +Scotland--notably Glasgow--the high percentage has become sadly +proverbial. Yet, despite these adverse points, the Scottish character +has a native grandeur which must provoke admiration, though all my +warmth of feelings goes to my own oft-erring countrymen. + +I returned to Ireland in 1843 with the intention of farming in Kerry on +the scientific system I had learned in Berwickshire. However, I found +the land so subdivided that it was not only difficult, but impossible, +to obtain a farm of sufficient size to return a reasonable percentage on +the necessary outlay. The population of Kerry was then 293,880, and the +land was divided into 25,848 farms, the holders of which, I may say, +entirely depended for existence on 26,030 acres of potatoes. To give an +example of the intense love of subdivision, I knew a case where one +horse was the property of three 'farmers,' and as they differed as to +who was to pay for the fourth shoe, they sold the horse, which was +bought by an uncle of mine. + +Few farmers ate meat except at Christmas. They wore homespun flannel and +frieze, and their only luxury, whisky, was obtainable at a quarter of +its present price. A young couple were considered ready to start in +married life when they had obtained a 'farm,' consisting of a couple of +acres for potatoes and a mud hovel for themselves; and thus a +population, dependent on a precarious root, increased very rapidly. It +was thicker near the sea coast than inland. The rents then were about +double what they are now (though half what they had been at the +beginning of the nineteenth century), yet, with good potato crops, +people seemed content and times were fairly good. I should say there was +not such general drunkenness as in later times, and very little porter +was consumed in those days--at all events outside Dublin. What schools +there were were shockingly bad, and reading, not to say writing, was an +exceptional accomplishment, not only among the labouring classes, but +among those who held their heads much higher. This of course impressed +me coming straight from Scotland, where a really grand education has +been the national birthright for generations. + +I began to farm about sixty acres near Dingle, and gave my entire time +to it, an assiduity I have compared in my mind to that of the Norwegian +reclaiming the little arable spots on the mountain. We both worked +pretty hard for very scanty results. I did not even live on my tiny +property, but with my mother--my father had died after I returned from +my English schools and before I went to Kelso. + +Still matters were not long satisfactory, owing to the failure of the +potato crop in 1845, when the mortality became fearful in consequence. + +So at the very end of the year I migrated from Kerry to become an +assistant land agent in Cork, and thus really embarked on the profession +of my life--one which, on the whole, I have most thoroughly and heartily +enjoyed. + +I hoped then that I had not done with my beloved Kerry, and my +association with that great kingdom has indeed been lifelong. I have +always understood the feeling of the Irish emigrants who have had sods +of their native earth sent out to them to the New World. _Heimweh_ is +after all a good thing, and Kerry to me would always seem to be +appealing, however far I had roamed. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +LAND AGENT IN CORK + + +Had I been able to obtain a reasonably large farm near Dingle, I should +never have become a land agent, and I most certainly should never have +given evidence before any Commission. + +In default of adequate land accommodation, I embarked on my profession +by becoming assistant land agent to my brother-in-law, the Knight of +Kerry, who was agent to Sir George Colthurst. I lived with the Knight at +Inniscarra in County Cork, not far from Blarney. + +From that time onward I worked steadily, and as I take my ease at the +Carlton to-day, I really feel I have done as much honest labour in my +career as has any man. + +In proof I may cite a day's record some years later, taken almost at +random from my diary. + +I began with an hour in my Cork office, went by train to Killarney, a +journey of three and a half hours, where I spent three hours in my +office, and then by train on to Tralee, a further one and a quarter +hours, where I had an hour and a half in my office in that town, and +then drove out to Edenburn, seven miles, to sleep. That done fairly +often makes a decided strain on endurance and mental concentration, +because the affairs at each place were of course for different landlords +and needed the memorising of a fresh section of business all absolutely +intrusted to me, whilst the train service in Kerry then and now is not +calculated to promote mental tranquillity or facilitate business. + +Having alluded to my diary, I had better explain that I kept no journal +until 1852, and subsequently to that year it consisted merely of bald +memoranda of my movements; therefore it has not been of the least use in +preparing these reminiscences. + +In 1846 I became a Government Inspector of Land Improvements and +Drainage Works, and in that capacity went to Bantry, where I saw the +appalling destitution caused by the famine, with which I shall deal in +the next chapter. + +I had made application for this post before I left Kerry, directly I had +found my farm too small for my requirements, and I received the +appointment from the Chairman of the Irish Board of Works. Practically +speaking the pay was about a pound a day with allowances. + +This post in no way interfered with my duties as a land agent then, but +I afterwards resigned it owing to the increasing exigencies of my +profession. + +It may be as well to detail for readers other than Irish what are the +avocations of a land agent, especially as the class in Ireland will +probably soon be as extinct as the dodo. + +The duties of an Irish land agent comprise a great deal of office work, +drawing up agreements with tenants, receiving rent, superintending +agricultural and all landlords' improvements, sitting as magistrate and +representing the landlord when the latter is absent at poor-law +meetings, road sessions, and on grand juries. + +With very rare exceptions the salary has been five per cent, on the +rents received. So the agent has been paid five per cent, on all the +money he has put into the landlord's pockets, whilst an architect has +always received five per cent. on all he took out of them, an +arrangement which in the latter instance has not worked at all well for +the landlords. + +The tendency has gradually been to consolidate and amalgamate land +agencies, for as the difficulty of getting rents increased, more +competent men of experience and judgment were needed by the landlords. +As a proof of the trust reposed in me, I may mention that at one time I +received the rents of one-fifth of the whole county of Kerry--and that +in the worst times. + +Such a task is not one to be envied, however joyously a man may take up +the burden of his daily toil, and of course the agents as the outward +and visible signs of the distant or absentee landlords obtained the +greater share of the hatred felt for the latter. + +In the worst period Lord Derby received threats that if he did not +reduce his rents, his agent would be murdered. + +He coolly replied:-- + +'If you think you will intimidate me by shooting my agent you are +greatly mistaken.' + +That is exactly the reply the agents desired the landlords to make, but +it did not conduce to making their own existences any the more secure or +enviable. + +Of course in the due working out of the Wyndham Act, land agents will be +utterly ruined. + +There are no openings for them because they are too old to commence +learning another profession, and they will not get employment under the +County Council because they belong to the landlord class and have +unflinchingly fought the battles of the landlords. + +The agents are a class who have devoted their time and risked their +lives in order to get in the rents due to their employers, and there is +not the smallest chance--save in a few isolated and exceptional +cases--of their being kept on when the landlords will have only their +own demesne in their own hands and employ some underling, such as a +bailiff in England, to collect the stray rents of the few cottagers who +may still chance to be tenants. + +Judge Ross stated that there was no more deserving or painstaking class +in Ireland than the land agents, and he considered it a great hardship +that under the Wyndham Act they obtain no compensation. + +By agreement in most cases they receive three per cent. of the purchase +money, but that is a very poor sinking fund to provide for a middle-aged +gentleman, who has probably a family to support; and absolute bankruptcy +must be the result if there is, as on several large properties, an agent +with a couple of assistants. + +When the Ashbourne Act was passed in 1885, it was never contemplated +that the purchases would be on a wholesale scale. As a matter of fact +only a few estates were sold, and on the purchase price of one of those +for which I was agent I received two per cent. It should be also borne +in mind that the profession of a land agent in Ireland is on a far +higher social plane than in England. In many cases the younger son or +brother of the landlord is the agent for the family property; and in +some instances this has worked uncommonly well. In other cases, +gentlemen by birth conducted the business, or else the administration of +several estates was consolidated and carried on from one office. + +In every case the billet was regarded as one for life, only forfeited by +gross misconduct, and the relations between landlord and agent have been +nearly always of an intimate and cordial character. Each agent began as +an assistant, obtaining an independent post by selection and influence, +and few entered the profession unless they had reasonable prospects of a +definite post on their own account in due course. + +In my time the landlord was the sole judge of the agent's +qualifications, but the profession has become a branch of the +Engineering Surveyor's Institution. + +As may be imagined, there are now remarkably few candidates for the +necessary examinations, because it is virtually annihilated. + +Things were very different when I embarked without mistrust on a career +which has landed me comfortably into my eighties, although under +Government every appointment has to be compulsorily vacated at the age +of sixty-five. No one starting now could anticipate any such result in +old age, and so without affectation I can say _autres temps autres +moeurs_, which may be freely translated as 'present times much the +worst.' + +More pleasant is it to turn to a few brief memories of Cork. It was a +cheerful place at the time I am speaking of, for there was plenty of +entertaining and truly genial hospitality. The general depression caused +by famine, fever, and Fenians hardly affected the great town, and after +those funereal shadows had once passed, Cork was as gay as any one could +reasonably desire. + +The townsfolk are very witty and clever at giving nicknames, as the +following little tales will show. + +When a citizen in Cork makes money, he generally builds a house, and the +higher up the hill his house is situated, the more is thought of him. + +Mr. Doneghan, a highly respectable tallow chandler, built a fine +residence early in the nineteenth century, which he called Waterloo. + +The populace said it should have been named Talavera (_i.e._ +Tallow-vera), and as that it is known to this day. + +Mr. Maguire, who was Member for Cork, and Lord Mayor of the City into +the bargain, was very influential in the promotion of a gas company. +With the money he made out of it, he reared a rather lofty mansion, +which was promptly christened the Lighthouse. + +All butter in Cork is sold at the wharves, and the casks are branded +with the quality of the butter they contain. One man made a fortune out +of the first class butter on its merits, and out of the sixth class +butter, which he put in the first class casks and sold on the testimony +of the brand on the wood. This became in time notorious to most people +except the more unsophisticated of his clients, and when he embarked on +bricks and mortar his house was generally known as Brandenburg. + +One more and I have done with these baptismal sobriquets. + +A lady on a Queenstown steamer had put her foot down the bunker's hole, +and broke her ankle through the accident. She brought an action against +the company, duly proved negligence on the part of the employés, and +obtained substantial damages. These considerably assisted her in +erecting a rather attractive mansion, which she decidedly resented being +called Bunker's Hill. + +Some people have their own ideas about the definition of a gentleman, as +a certain rather diminutive racing man found to his cost. + +It was at a meeting close to Cork, and he was standing next a burly +farmer close to the rails when the horses were nearly ready to start. + +Pointing to one disreputable-looking ruffian about to mount, he +observed:-- + +'That fellow has no pretensions to be a gentleman-rider.' + +The farmer caught him by the collar of his coat and the seat of his +breeches, and shook him as a mastiff would a rat. + +'Mind yourself, small man,' said he, 'that's a recognised gentleman in +these parts.' + +There was a mighty shindy, and when the farmer was told his victim was a +prominent English peer, he retorted:-- + +'Well, that won't make him a judge of an Irish gentleman.' + +In the last chapter I mentioned that the preacher I most admired was +Archbishop Magee. I had the privilege of frequently hearing him in Cork, +where he drew crowded congregations to a temporary church--the cathedral +being under repair. + +I never heard any one who so magnetised me from the pulpit, and I am by +no means prone to admire sermons. There was a sort of mesmerism in the +very eloquence of Magee which kept my eyes riveted on his lips--rather +big, bulgy lips in an expressive, sensitive face. An hour beneath him +sped marvellously fast, and more than once in Cork I have heard him +preach for that length. The impression he made on me has never been +effaced, and it was with no surprise I learnt in due course that he +became Archbishop of York. + +The late Lord Derby said that the most eloquent speech he ever heard in +or out of the House of Lords was Magee's speech on the Church Act, the +peroration of which--quoting from memory after many years--ran:--'My +Lords, I will not, I cannot, and I dare not vote for that most +unhallowed bill which lies on your Lordships' table.' + +Have all Magee stories been told? + +I am afraid so. Yet in the hope that a few may be new to some, though +old to others--who are invited to skip them--here are just a small +batch. + +When he was a dean, he one day attended a debate on tithes in the House +of Commons, and was subsequently putting on his overcoat, when a Radical +Member courteously assisted him, whereupon he remarked:-- + +'I am very much obliged to you, sir, for reversing the policy of your +friends inside, who are taking the coats off our backs.' + +This was equalled by the wife of an Irish landlord who lost her purse in +the Ladies' Gallery of the House of Commons. + +Mrs. Gladstone, who had been sitting next her, after kindly assisting in +the ineffectual search, observed:-- + +'I hope there was not much in it.' + +'No, it was a nice little purse I had had for a long time, but thanks to +your husband there was nothing in it.' + +An Irish story of Magee's concerns an Orange clergyman in Fermanagh, who +asked leave to preach a sermon by Magee. Now, this clergyman, who was an +ambitious man, was rather ashamed of his mother, and would not let her +live at the parsonage, but had taken lodgings for her in the town. +Magee, moreover, always a moderate man, did not like Orange sermons, and +most certainly had never composed one. As he good naturedly did not want +to offend the other, he said he would give him a capital sermon to +deliver if he--Magee--might select the text. + +'Of course, of course,' assented the other; 'what is it?' + +'"From that time His disciple took her to his own house."' + +Even this was hardly so cutting as his remark, when a bishop, to a +clergyman of whom he did not think highly, but who upbraided him for not +giving him a living. + +'Sir, if it were raining livings, the utmost I could do would be to lend +you an umbrella.' + +Mention of Magee suggests an ecclesiastical tale concerning a most +convivial attorney--George Faith by name--who had rather a red nose, +which he explained was caused by wearing tight boots. + +His father in old age got married a second time, and George was asked +why his stepmother was like Dr. Newman. + +The answer was because she had embraced the ancient Faith. + +Among old time Irish members, Joe Ronayne, M.P. for Cork, was among the +most diverting. + +He was a railway contractor, and much wanted some additional ground at +the terminus of the line, which the proprietor, Lord Ventry, would not +sell. + +The size of the coveted patch was only seven feet long by three broad. +Mr. Ronayne grimly retorted:-- + +'That's very strange, for it is exactly the amount of ground I'd like to +give him,' i.e. for his grave. + +Another experience of Ronayne's was to the following tune. + +He had obtained advances from a local bank for his railway contract to +the satisfaction of both parties, and when asked by the manager for some +wrinkles about the making of a railway, replied:-- + +'The best thing is to run it into a soft bank.' + +He was a plucky chap as well as a witty one, for owing to some internal +malady, from which he died, he had to have his leg amputated, at the +same time resigning his seat for Cork. + +Addressing the surgeon, he observed:-- + +'I cannot stand for the borough any longer, but I shall certainly stump +the constituency as a county candidate.' + +Poor fellow, he was all too soon an accepted candidate for his passage +over to the great majority. + +A certain attorney named Nagle used to do most of his work. + +Speaking of another attorney this Nagle remarked:-- + +'He has the heart of a vulture.' + +'I know what's worse,' was Ronayne's comment. + +'Indeed!' + +'Yes; the bill of an aigle' (which is the broad Cork pronunciation of +eagle). + +This Nagle was not remarkable for the extent of his ablutions. + +At one period, when he was becoming an ardent Radical, an obsequious +toady said:-- + +'You'll become a second Marat.' + +'There's no fear that he will die in the same place,' promptly came from +Ronayne. + +On another occasion the two were waiting for the judges outside their +lodgings during the Assizes. + +Suddenly Ronayne, in the hearing of a number of acquaintances, called +out:-- + +'You had better come away at once, Nagle.' + +'Why should I?' indignantly. + +'If you stop five minutes longer there's a shower of rain coming on and +you might get washed.' + +On a third occasion, Nagle told Ronayne he was going to invest some +money in a mining exploration. + +'Explore your own landed property, my dear fellow,' was Ronayne's +advice. + +'But you know I have not got any.' + +'Good Heavens, you don't mean to say you have cleaned your nails?' + +Though he was an out-and-out Fenian, Ronayne was as honest a man as I +ever met, and he was considered one of the most amusing men in the House +of Commons. + +The attorneys in Cork at one time formed quite a small coterie, who +divided all the business until it grew too much for them, one, Mr. Paul +Wallace, being especially harassed with briefs. + +At length a barrister named Graves came down from Dublin, and was +introduced to Wallace by another attorney with the remark:-- + +'Counsel are very necessary.' + +'Yes,' said Wallace; 'as a matter of fact, we are all being driven to +our graves.' + +At Kanturk Sessions, Mr. Philip O'Connell was consulted by a client +about the recovery of a debt. He at once saw that the defence would be a +pleading of the statute of limitations, so he told his client that if he +could get a man to swear that the debtor had admitted the debt within +the last six years, he would succeed, but not otherwise. + +O'Connell went off to take the chair at a Bar dinner to a new County +Court judge. + +As the dessert was being set on the table, a loud knock came at the +door, which was immediately behind the chairman. + +'What is it?' cried O'Connell. + +A head appeared, and the voice from it explained:-- + +'I'm Tim Flaherty, your honour, as was consulting you outside, and I +want you to come this way for a while.' + +'Don't you see I am engaged and cannot come?' + +'But it's pressing and important.' + +'I tell you I won't come.' + +Then at the top of his voice Tim yelled:-- + +'Will a small woman do as well, your honour?' + +The members of the Bar present, quite unaware of the previous +conversation, exploded in a shout of laughter, and it was long before +O'Connell heard the last of the invidious construction they put on the +affair. + +One of the interesting people I came across in the vicinity of Cork was +Mr. Jeffreys, who up to his death in 1862 was the most enterprising and +experimental landed proprietor in the county. He imported Scottish +stewards, and people from far and near came to see his farms. + +I should say that in the fifties he did more for agriculture than any +other one man who could be named in Ireland. + +He often said to me:-- + +'The system of small farms will not last long in Ireland, for the +occupiers are sure to strike against rents.' + +He did not live to see the fulfilment of his prophecy, but its effects +were felt by his grandson, Sir George Colthurst, who inherited his +property. + +Most of his stories were very improper, but their wit excused them. + +In the Kildare Street Club one day he saw a very pompous individual, and +asked who he was. + +'That's So-and-So, and the odd thing is he is the youngest of four +brothers, who are all married without having a child between them.' + +'Ah, that accounts for his importance--he is the last of the Barons.' + +Finding him very meditative in the County Club at Cork one Friday, I +asked him what was the matter. + +'I am making my soul,' said he. 'I began my dinner with turbot and ended +with scollops.' + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +FAMINE AND FEVER + + +It is now necessary to revert to that terrible page of Irish history, +the famine, which culminated in what is still known as 'the black +forty-seven.' + +I have often been asked, 'How is it that Ireland could formerly support +a population of eight millions as compared with only five now?' + +The answer is simple: Eight millions could still exist if the potato +crop were a certainty, and if the people were now content to exist as +they did then. But to the then existing population--living at best in a +light-hearted and hopeful, hand-to-mouth contentment--there was a +terrible awakening. + +The mysterious blight, which had affected the potato in America in 1844, +had not been felt in Ireland, where the harvest for 1845 promised to be +singularly abundant. Suddenly, almost without warning, the later crop +shrivelled and wasted. + +The poor had a terribly hard winter, and the farmers borrowed heavily to +have means to till a larger amount of land in 1846. + +Once more the early prospects were admirable, and then in a single night +whole districts were blighted. + +This is how Mr. Steuart Trench described the catastrophe:-- + +'On August 1, 1846, I was startled by a sudden and strange rumour that +all the potato fields in the district were blighted, and that a stench +had arisen emanating from their decaying stalk. The report was true, the +stalks being withered; and a new, strange stench was to be noticed which +became a well-known feature in 'the blight' for years after. On being +dug up it was found that the potato was rapidly blackening and melting +away. The stench generally was the first indication, the withered leaf +following in a day or two.' + +The terrible sufferings which ensued were complicated by some blunders +of British statesmen. + +In 1845 Sir Robert Peel was Prime Minister. He imported Indian meal, and +established depots in the country, where it was sold to the people at +the lowest possible price, thus putting a complete check on private +enterprise. + +In 1846 Lord John Russell was Premier. He declined to follow the example +of Sir Robert Peel, because he considered that it interfered with Free +Trade, and, reversing the policy of his predecessor, announced that he +left the importation of meal to private enterprise. + +But capitalists having been alarmed, meal was not imported in sufficient +quantities, with the result that Indian corn rose to eighteen pounds a +ton, when it might have been laid in at the rate of eight pounds a ton. + +Had Lord John Russell's policy come first, and that of Sir Robert Peel +subsequently, the result would have been very different. + +The fight over the Corn Law question in England at the time was +decidedly an injury to Ireland, because the Protectionists minimised the +danger of famine in the winter of 1845 for fear of the calamity being +made a pretext for Free Trade. + +Dealing with an unforeseen calamity of such stupendous magnitude at long +range from Downing Street entailed delay; and public relief, waiting +until official investigation had tardily reported the hardships, +suffered in the truly distressful country. + +The state of things round Bantry, of which I had accurate knowledge, was +appalling. I knew of twenty-three deaths in the poorhouse in twenty-four +hours. Again, on a relief road, two hours after I had passed, on my ride +home I saw three of the poor fellows stretched corpses on the stones +they had been breaking. + +The Registrar-General for Ireland, Mr. William Donelly, officially stated +that five hundred thousand one-roomed cabins had disappeared between the +census before the famine and the one after it. + +Whole families used to starve in their cabins without their plight being +discovered until the stench of their decaying corpses attracted notice. + +Some superstition also prevented even the children from eating the +myriads of blackberries which ripened on the bushes. + +Directly the calamity was comprehended, the English poured money into +the country with unbounded generosity, but the management was bad. + +The relief works organised by the Government took the form of draining +and road-making. This entailed delay, owing to the preliminary +surveying, and when employment could be given, the people were too +emaciated and feeble to work. All over Ireland unfinished roads leading +half way to places of no consequence are to-day grass-grown memorials of +that ghastly effort of State assistance. + +Almost the earliest of the private soup-kitchens for the relief of the +sufferers was that opened at Dingle under the joint initiative of Lady +Ventry, Mrs. Hickson, my future mother-in-law, and Mrs. Hussey, my +mother. So as not to pauperise the people, subscriptions of one penny a +week were asked from every house in the town. At ten in the morning +those who wanted it could get a pint per head of really excellent soup +for themselves and their families. Those who were known to be able to +pay had to contribute a penny; the really destitute had gratuitous +relief. + +So bad was the famine that people coming in from the country fell in the +street never to rise again. One woman was found lying on the outskirts +of the town almost dead from starvation, her three children having +succumbed beside her, and had she not been carried to the soup-kitchen +she would not have survived them many hours. + +My wife well remembers another case. One day her mother emerged from a +cabin carrying what looked like a big bundle of clothes. It was the form +of an emaciated woman, whose four children and husband had all starved. +My mother-in-law took her to her own house, fed her at first with +spoonsful of soup, and kept her there until she had rebuilt her once +vigorous constitution. + +My wife subsequently recollects her as a hale, buxom, young widow coming +to say good-bye before emigrating to America. + +Very soon all the coffins had been exhausted, and in many places the +dead were taken to the graves and dropped in through the hinged bottom +of a trap-coffin. + +After soup had been introduced, Indian meal stirabout proved +efficacious, and it was distributed from large iron boilers set up by +the roadside to the gaunt, cadaverous wretches who scuffled for the +sustenance. + +Even more terrible than those privations was the fever which supervened. +Apart from the lack of food, a great cause of mortality lay in the +change of diet. Potatoes form a bulky article of food, and stirabout, +unless very carefully made, used to swell after it was consumed. Many, +too, ate raw turnips from sheer destitution, and these also caused +swelling of the stomach as well as a dysentery almost always fatal in a +few days. + +Numbers of starving Catholics had gone to Protestant clergymen and +offered to become converts in return for food, and when some of these +sickened with the fever, the priests declared it was a judgment on them, +and religious hostility became intensified. + +At Dingle Lady Ventry and her helpers were denounced from the pulpits as +'benevolent sisters bent on superising the poor'--to superise being the +improvised verb for Protestantising, a thing they decidedly did not +attempt. + +A very early instance of the open-air cure never before recorded took +place at Lismore. When every possible place in the hospital had been +filled with fever patients, a number had to be lodged in a disused +quarry near the Blackwater, and of the latter not a single sufferer +died, though the mortality within doors was excessive. + +I remember one rather quaint incident. + +A large amount of sea biscuit was brought into a house for distribution +by a benevolent gentleman. His daughter, aged seven, surreptitiously +stole a biscuit for the purpose of eating it. But at the first attempt +to bite the tough thing, out came a loose tooth. She howled with fright, +thinking it a judgment on her for her misdeed, and went in tears to tell +her mother. + +I have always hoped the latter had enough sense of humour to laugh at +the incident, but my shrewd suspicion is that she improved the +occasion--an error for which there is always temptation, and on which +there is often the retribution of the few words having the opposite +effect to that intended. + +The conduct of the landlords during the famine and fever has been much +discussed and variously represented. But many of the Nationalists +themselves have declared that the diatribes of their comrades have been +thoroughly undeserved. Absenteeism apart--for which no excuse need be +attempted--the Irish landlords did their best, gave of their substance, +and imperilled their own lives for the sake of the sufferers. Mr. +Richard White of Inchiclogh, near Bantry, fell a victim to the fever. +Two other landlords who gave their lives for others were Mr. Richard +Martin, M.P., and Mr. Nolan of Ballinderry. The conditions of tenure did +not admit of lavish financial generosity, but as one of their sharpest +critics in later times admitted, the vast majority 'went down with the +ship.' + +The survivors of this terrible time numbered heroes drawn from all +classes of life; and it would have been well if the lesson of universal +charity then practically demonstrated had been allowed to sink into all +hearts. + +Instead I will quote the following extract from John Mitchel's _History +of Ireland_, a thick, paper-bound volume, which, at the price of +eighteenpence, has circulated enormously among the Irish, not only at +home, but in Glasgow and America. + +On page 243:--'That million and a half of men, women, and children were +carefully, prudently, and peacefully _slain_' [the italics are those of +Mitchel] 'by the English Government. They died of hunger in the midst of +abundance which their own hands created; and it is quite immaterial to +distinguish those who perished in the agonies of famine itself from +those who died by typhus fever, which in Ireland is always caused by +famine. + +'Further, this was strictly an _artificial_ famine--that is to say, it +was a famine which desolated a rich and fertile island that produced +every year abundance and superabundance to sustain all her people and +many more. The English, indeed, call that famine a dispensation of +Providence, and ascribe it entirely to the blight of the potatoes. But +potatoes failed in like manner all over Europe, yet there was no famine +save in Ireland. The British account of the matter, then, is first a +fraud; second, a blasphemy. The Almighty, indeed, sent the potato +blight, but the English created the famine.' + +Such pestilential perversion of truth is freely circulated and firmly +believed, for contradiction never penetrates to those gulled by these +lies. In America the gutter press section of journalism is esteemed at +its true worth, and is as harmless as a few squibs. In Ireland what is +seen in bad print is always believed, and is corroborated by the lower +class of priest. When I say so much I am simply indicating a national +sore, but it needs a wiser physician than myself to apply a successful +remedy. + +Perhaps with the spread of education may arise the same power to +discriminate between the true and false published in the papers that is +a characteristic of both the English and Scottish. As it is, the +Irishman believes whatever he reads in print; and in most cases the +solitary paper that he reads is one full of treason and untruths. + +When the famine took place, the Irish fled as from a plague to America, +and when they landed there both men and women were the prey of every +blackguard without a single person to advise or protect them. + +Had the Government taken the movement in hand and employed agents at New +York to provide for them until they obtained employment, and to direct +them where to apply for it, England would to-day probably have had a +grateful nation on the other side of the Atlantic. Instead, we have a +hostile multitude which neglects no opportunity of voting for any +politician hostile to Great Britain; and this disaffection sadly +militates against that union of Anglo-Saxon hearts, which is so freely +accepted by journalists and politicians as a sort of millennium. + +Miss Cobbe related a story about a steady-going girl who had received +money from her sister who was doing well in New York to pay her passage +money out. + +She told Miss Cobbe how she had been to an emigration office and booked +her passage. + +'Direct to New York, of course.' + +'Well no, Miss. But to some place close by, New something else.' + +'New something else near New York?' + +'Yes; I disremember what it was, but he said it was quite handy for New +York.' + +'Not New Orleans, surely?' + +'Yes, Miss, that was it, New Orleans, quite near New York,' he said. + +The scoundrelly agent had taken her passage money and sent her off +absolutely friendless to New Orleans, where she died of a fever in less +than a year. + +Many of the three million emigrants after the famine must have been as +easily duped. + +A considerable time ago (but if I were in Kerry I could give the date +from my diary, because I met the man at a dinner given at the St. +James's Club by Lord Kenmare's son-in-law, Mr. Douglas) one of the big +New World railway companies sent over an emissary to the British +Government. + +He was charged to offer to take every distressed man in Ireland, with +his priest--if he would go--piper, cat, wife, sister, mother, and +children, to the land through which the great railway ran. Each man was +to be given a log-house with three rooms, one hundred and sixty acres, +ten of them under cultivation, and no residence was to be more than ten +miles from a railway station. All that was asked in return was a loan +for ten years without interest to cover the expenses of transportation. + + +I rather think Mr. Chichester Fortescue was the Chief Secretary. Anyhow, +whoever occupied that post urged the Cabinet to accept the offer. The +conclave wavered, but Mr. Gladstone firmly vetoed the idea. He was +afraid the plan would be unpopular with the priests, who would see +themselves bereft of the favourite members of their congregations. + +Instead of this admirable scheme, we have ever since had the pitiable +sight of the parents, the sisters, and the sweetheart crooning over the +emigration of the best able-bodied young men from Ireland. + +No one who has heard the keening and wailing, say at Limerick Junction, +over Paddy going over the water will forget the appealing sorrow of the +scene, the sound of which rings long in one's ears after the train has +gone out of sight. + +The emigrant has been the theme of song and story. He has also been one +of the finest recruits of the United States, whilst he is a stigma on +English politics, and a drain on the land which in all Europe can least +afford to spare him. + +Mr. Wyndham's new Act will not arrest emigration, indeed it will +probably increase it. + +At present the landlord is often able to put pressure on his tenants to +give employment to respectable men. But the small farmer is certain to +use as few men as possible. You can see the analogy in contemporary +France. Therefore more families will see the pride of their cabins +starting for the New World. + +Perhaps what I am proudest of, was being called in an address in Kerry +'the poor man's friend,' for it is what I have always striven to be. + +But if I were to be a young man to-morrow, instead of a day older than I +am to-day, I should be powerless to merit such a title in years to come. + +And the reason, as I have just indicated, is the fault of the +Government. + +I sometimes think the canniest man of whom I ever heard was the old +Scottish minister who was accustomed to preface his extempore petition +with the words:-- + +'My britheren, let us noo pray that the High Court of Parliament winna +do ony harm.' + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +FENIANISM + + +I am quite aware the opinion I am about to deliver will cause great +surprise, but I give it after mature consideration, supported by all my +knowledge of Ireland. + +It is this:-- + +The old Fenianism was politically of little account, socially of no +danger, except to a few individuals who could be easily protected, and +has been grossly exaggerated, either wilfully or through ignorance. + +Matters were very different after Mr. Gladstone, by successive acts, of +what I maintain were criminal legislation, deliberately fostered treason +and encouraged outrage in Ireland. + +Irish agitation would never have reached genuine importance unless it +had been steadily assisted in its noisome growth by the so-called Grand +Old Man, at whose grave may be laid every calamity which has affected +Ireland since it had the misfortune to arouse his interest, and the ill +effects of whose demoralising interference will bear fruit for many +years to come. + +This is set down in sober earnest and in as unprejudiced a spirit as it +is possible for any sincerely patriotic--using the word in its true and +not in its debased meaning--Irishman to feel when he is thoroughly +acquainted with all the niceties of the national history for the past +sixty years. + +I am far from saying that subsequent British cabinets have always +understood the Irish questions, but they are at least only reaping the +whirlwind where Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind. + +I would broadly characterise as Fenian every Irish outbreak or +ebullition in the nineteenth century up to the time of the baneful +influence of the man who conducted the Midlothian campaign. + +Half the tumultuous efforts of the earlier movements would have been +rendered ridiculous had it been possible to have them contemporaneously +examined by a few special correspondents. I can imagine the +representative of the _Daily Mail_ finding material for very few +sensational headlines in the Whiteboys Insurrection. + +As for the tales of single-handed terrorism, these in Ireland did +nursery duty to alarm imaginative children, just as the adventures of +Dick Turpin and Jack Sheppard or the kidnapping of heirs by gipsies +serve as stories to thrill English little ones. + +Of course in 1789 to have killed three Protestants was counted a +passport into heaven in the vicinity of Vinegar Hill. But Father +Matthew's temperance crusade was worth more salvation to the nation, and +mere threatening letters count for nothing. I have had over one hundred +in my time, yet I'll die in my bed for all that. + +My father-in-law had a pretty solid contempt for the Whiteboys--not the +original breed, but those who assumed the title in Kerry early in the +nineteenth century. + +He was told that these miscreants had a plan to surround his house that +night and to shoot everybody in it, and at that very moment they were +confabulating at a certain farmhouse. + +Refusing to be escorted or guarded, he made his way to that farm, and +walking into the kitchen, rated the lot of them in unmeasured terms. + +Cowed and abashed they listened to him as he threatened the law, hell, +and the devil alone knows what beside. Finally, pistol in hand, he bade +them produce their arms and put them in his dog-cart. + +This they actually did--for they had imbibed no liquor to give them +false pluck--and, with a final curse, he whipped up his horse and drove +away 'with all their teeth' to the barracks, where he left a very useful +arsenal, and was never troubled by one of them again. + +To thus obtain complete immunity by sheer coolness is as much a matter +of personal magnetism as anything else. An instance of this, which +impressed me much, occurred in a coiner-ghost story told by Mr. T.P. +O'Connor, which I venture to quote. + +'The hero was no less a person than Marshal Saxe. One night, on the +march, he bivouacked in a haunted castle, and slept the sleep of the +brave until midnight, when he was awakened by hideous howls heralding +the approach of the spectre. When it appeared, the Marshal first +discharged his pistol point-blank at it without effect, and then struck +it with his sabre, which was shivered in his hand. The invulnerable +spectre then beckoned the amazed Marshal to follow, and preceded him to +a spot where the floor of the gallery suddenly yawned, and they sank +together through it to sepulchral depths. Here he was surrounded by a +band of desperate coiners who would forthwith have made away with him if +the Marshal had not told them who he was, and warned them that if he +disappeared his army would dig to the earth's centre to find him, and +would infallibly find and finish every one of them. + +'"If I am reconducted to my chamber by this steel-clad spectre and +allowed to sleep undisturbed until morning, I promise never to relate +this adventure while any harm can happen to you by my telling it." + +'To this the coiners after consultation agreed. He was led back to bed, +and next morning ridiculed all spectral stories to his officers. It was +not until the world of coiners was finally broken up that he related his +experiences.' + +In that story I wonder who went bail for the Marshal's truth. Veracity +and gallantry may not have gone hand in hand, or perhaps they were +affianced, and therefore took care not to come near one another. + +Another sort of gallantry was noteworthy in what was known as Young +Ireland, for in 'the set' were several ladies, Eva, Mary, and Speranza, +all prone to write seditious verse. Eva was Miss Mary Kelly, daughter of +a Galway gentleman, who promised her lover to wait while he underwent +ten years penal servitude, and kept her word, marrying him at Kingstown +two days after his release. 'Mary' was Miss Ellen Downing, whose lover +was also a fugitive after the outbreak; but he proved unfaithful, and +she was one of the last I heard of who died of pining away. It used to +be much talked of in my young days. Perhaps now that it is not, it more +often occurs. 'Speranza' was Lady Wilde, a fluent poet and essayist, who +survived her husband the archæologist. One of her children inherited +much of her talent, but bears a chequered fame. I always thought the wit +of Oscar Wilde anything but Irish, and was always glad it possessed no +national attributes--unless impudence was one. + +At one of his own first nights in London (I think it was on the occasion +of the production of _An Ideal Husband_ at the Haymarket) he was +summoned before the curtain by the customary shouts for 'Author, +author.' + +He stood there for a moment amid the cheering, and then, in response to +cries for a speech, calmly took a cigarette case out of his pocket, +selected one of the contents, and, having very deliberately lighted it, +said:-- + +'Ladies and gentlemen, I do not know what you have done, but I have +spent a very pleasant evening with my own play. Good night.' + +His brother, known as 'Wuffalo Will' among his friends, is the hero of +many stories. + +Once he went up to a policeman and said:-- + +'Which is the way to heaven?' + +'I don't know, sir; better ask a parson.' + +'What do you think I pay taxes for? It's your business to be able to +tell me the way to heaven. As for the bally parsons, they don't +understand.' + +A broad smile came over the constable's face. + +'Were you asking where you could get blind drunk comfortably, sir? +because if so--' + +And out came the hint with a wink. + +Wilde was fond of that tale at one time. + +The affair of ''48' was a farce. Stimulated by the French Revolution, +John Mitchel wrote rabid sedition, but received short shrift at the +hands of the Government, who arrested him, sentenced him to fourteen +years' transportation, and almost from the dock he was taken manacled in +a police van, escorted by cavalry, and put on board a steamer, which at +once put out to sea. + +Smith O'Brien was the leader of this feeble insurrection. He had boasted +he would be at the head of fifty thousand Tipperary men. Instead his +army consisted of a few hundred half-clad ragamuffins, which attacked a +squad of police who took refuge in a farmhouse, and easily routed the +rabble. + +Smith O'Brien proved himself an arrant coward. He hid in a cabbage +garden, and is still believed to have made his temporary escape from the +police in the habit of an Anglican sisterhood, of which his sister, Hon. +Mrs. Monsell, was Mother Superior. + +The bigger outbreak was not a bit more serious. It was all trumped up by +the Irish in America, and their reliance upon help from American +soldiers was destroyed after the war. This agitation was the one known +as the work of the Phoenix Society, and the object was the separation of +Ireland from England and the confiscation of Irish property. + +The leaders were James Stephens, who had nearly escaped being shot by a +policeman in the Smith O'Brien campaign, and that indomitable scoundrel +O'Donovan Rossa. It was at this time we began to hear of mysterious +strangers. In this case it was Stephens; later Parnell wrapped himself +in strange isolation; and subsequently Tynan, who was known as 'Number +One.' + +Cork and Kerry were the chosen parts of Ireland for the new Fenianism to +come to a head, and a certain amount of enrolling and drilling did take +place. + +I was then residing within two miles of the city of Cork, and one night +the Fenians came out and encamped all round my house, without offering +the slightest molestation or injury to anybody. + +Two Fenians walked into the house of my stableman, about a quarter of a +mile from my own, and asked for food, saying they were ready to pay for +it. + +The woman replied that she had no food in the house, but the breakfast +of her brother Charles, which she was about to take to him in the +stables. + +They wanted to pay her a shilling for it, but she declined, and then +they went away quietly. + +The principal outbreak was to be in Killarney, and they plotted to +attack the police barrack at Cahirciveen, because they had an ally in +the son of the head constable. + +But a man in the town, to whom he had shown kindness, warned the head +constable of the attack, which in the end consisted of a few shots fired +by a ragged rabble of about three hundred, half of whom were +half-hearted, and the other half half-drunk. + +The coastguards manned their boat and rowed off to a gunboat in the +harbour to ask for some marines; and the moment this was known to the +besiegers they dispersed. Some of them marched rather downcast towards +Killarney, and on the road they met a mounted policeman riding to warn +Cahirciveen of the attack which was to be made against the barracks, for +every movement of this silly rebellion was known to the Government. + +They called on the man to stop and deliver up his despatches. He +declined to do so, and so soon as he had ridden on they shot him in the +back, wounding him badly. + +He recovered, but was very shabbily treated by the Government, who only +awarded him a miserably small pension, a niggardly act which aroused +much dissatisfaction. + +The Roman Catholic Bishop of Killarney, Doctor Moriarty, protested +strongly against the cowardice of the Fenians, who were afraid to face +one armed man, and waited until his back was turned before they shot +him. + +However, as I have indicated, the Fenian movement was very +insignificant, and was known in all its aspects to the Government, which +dealt pretty roughly with it. + +It is a singular fact that in the Fenian councils Killarney should have +been selected for the outbreak. + +This is a town where nearly all the landed proprietors were Roman +Catholics, where there was a Catholic Bishop, a monastery and two +convents, while one half-ruined Protestant church sufficed to +accommodate the few worshippers who sat under a dreary, inoffensive +vicar on a very small salary. All reasonable folk, moreover, know that +Killarney is the town to which, more than any other in Ireland, it is +important to attract British tourists. + +It was well known that some of the promoters and instigators of the +movement betrayed it before its very inception to the Government; and +Bishop Moriarty, from his pulpit, in his sermon alluded in no measured +language to those criminals who instigated the innocent peasants to play +a part in this mock insurrection, and then betrayed them. + +He concluded:-- + +'It may be a hard saying, but surely hell is not too hot nor eternity +too long for the punishment of such villainy.' + +Yet the whole of Irish history is disfigured by the poisonous trail of +the insidious informer. + +I was in Kerry at the time of the Cahirciveen fizzle, in the +neighbourhood of Dingle, and it was rumoured that the insurrection was +to be general. + +That was not my opinion, for I travelled on an open car by myself, with +a large quantity of money, and no other weapon than an umbrella. + +It was a very different state of affairs in the distress caused by Mr. +Gladstone's legislation, for then I never travelled without a revolver, +and occasionally was accompanied by a Winchester rifle. I used to place +my revolver as regularly beside my fork on the dinner-table, either in +my own or in anybody else's house, as I spread my napkin on my knees. + +And yet it is strangely difficult to see any other cause than Mr. +Gladstone's Acts for such ill-feeling. + +As my sworn evidence, on which I was cross-examined in the Parnell +Commission, showed, I had only ten evictions in six years among two +thousand tenants. + +I should like to ask, in what class of life is there not more than one +in twelve hundred that gets into financial troubles in a year? + +In the insurance world such a ratio of claims to premiums would make a +perfect fortune to the companies. + +The tenants were not associated with the Fenian movement at all, the +outbreak being solely confined to the townsfolk, which, in Ireland, +helped to make it a feeble affair. I did not know one _bona fide_ farmer +that was connected with the movement, and though the arms were mainly +smuggled in from America, mighty little hard cash came to the pockets of +any but the leaders. + +Stephens was the original 'Number One,' and he was let out of Kilmainham +by the chief warder's wife. No one knew where he was to be found, but +the police, who were well aware that he was devoted to his own wife, +kept a strict watch on her, and eventually caught him through his +opening communications with her. + +When the hue and cry was loudest, it was reported he had come to Cork to +foster the Fenian movement, and that he was disguised in feminine garb. + +One day my wife found her steps dogged by a man in the most aggravating +way, for he followed her into three shops without attempting to speak to +her, his only desire being to shadow her, which he was doing in the most +clumsy manner. + +I was away at Dingle for the day, so my wife went into the establishment +of the leading linen-draper, and sending for the head of the firm, asked +him to speak to the man, who was then pretending to buy some tape. + +It turned out that he was a detective fresh from Dublin, who had taken +it into his head that she was Stephens, and was most apologetic, as well +as crestfallen, at his error. + +Some time after this Fenian fizzle, my coachman saw a number of people +being chased by the police for drilling; and about two years later, when +I sent him to the Cork barracks on private business, he told me that he +there noticed some of the very people who had been routed by the +constabulary, but this time they were being drilled by the Government as +militia. + +I have always had a theory that Ireland was created by Providence for +the express purpose of bothering philosophers, and preventing them or +politicians from thinking themselves too wise. + +At the time when the Fenian scare was damaging Killarney as a tourist +resort, Sir Michael Morris--as he then was--was staying at Morley's +Hotel in London, and saw in the American paper lying on the table a +vivid account of how the Fenian army had attacked a British garrison, +and would have easily captured the stronghold had not an overpowering +force of English cavalry and artillery hurried up to deliver the +besieged. + +Of course, the facts were, that in County Limerick several hundred +'patriots,' led by a man in a green calico uniform, attacked a police +barrack in which were five constables. Keeping as much out of range of +the constabulary fire as possible, they had exchanged a few shots when a +District Inspector of Police, who resided some eight miles off, arrived +with ten constables on a couple of cars, at the sight of which +stupendous relieving force, the whole corps of young Irishmen bolted. + +Morris gave the waiter a shilling for the paper--and took it off his tip +at leaving, no doubt--and carefully treasured the journal until he went +to hold the next assizes at Limerick, when he found the bulk of the +attacking army in the dock before him. + +When the D.I. was giving evidence, Morris asked him:-- + +'Where were the British cavalry?' + +'What cavalry, my lord? Why, there was none. + +'Oh ho,' says the judge. 'And where was the artillery?' + +'Faith, my lord, there was as much artillery as there was cavalry, and +that would not get in the way of a donkey race.' + +Then Morris, with appropriate solemnity, proceeded to read out the +newspaper account for the benefit of the audience. The whole Court was +convulsed with laughter, in which the prisoners in the dock heartily +joined. + +After the trial was over, a parish priest came to congratulate Morris, +and said to him:-- + +'My lord, you have laughed Fenianism out of Limerick.' + +[Illustration: Mrs. Hussey] + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES + + +In 1850 I became agent to the Colthurst property, which consisted of +most of the parish of Ballyvourney, one estate alone containing about +twenty-three thousand acres. The rental was then over £4600. There were +only three slated houses on the property, hardly any out-buildings, only +seven miles of road under contract, and about twenty acres planted. + +By 1880 the landlord had expended £30,000 on improvements, there were +over one hundred slated houses, about sixty miles of roads, and over +four hundred acres planted. + +Under the Land Act of 1881 the rent was reduced to £3600. + +That was the encouragement officially given to the landlord for +assisting in the improvement of his property. + +From the time of Moses downwards, the policy of all Governments has been +to give relief to the debtor. By the Encumbered Estate Act, which was +passed just after the famine, special relief was given to the creditor. + +What the English view was may be taken from the _Times_-- + +'In a few years more, a Celtic Irishman will be as rare in Connemara as +is the Red Indian on the shores of Manhattan.' + +That is to say, English capital was at last to flow into Ireland for the +purchase of encumbered estates, but the anticipation of course was +erroneous. + +English capital was placed for preference in Turkish and in Egyptian +bonds, to the great loss of all concerned. As for Ireland, out of the +first twenty millions realised by the new Court, over seventeen was +Irish money; and at the outset there was an inevitable downward tendency +of prices which involved heavy depreciation. + +Credit was destroyed in Ireland, and every man who owed a shilling was +utterly ruined. Had the Government given loans at a reasonable rate of +interest, which would have amply repaid them, all this could have been +saved. As it was, properties were sold like chairs and tables at a +paltry auction, and in thousands of cases the judge expressed himself +satisfied that the rent could have been considerably increased. + +I knew one unfortunate shopkeeper who paid £6000 for a property under +these circumstances; and in place of an increase of rent, the +confiscators--that is to say the commissioners imposed by Mr. +Gladstone--took a third of the rental off him. + +Those purchasers who were English conceived when they bought properties +that they would get as much from them as the solvent tenants were +willing to pay. The legislation of Mr. Gladstone in coalition with the +blunderbuss soon put an end to the pleasing delusion. It was one more of +the English mistakes about Ireland, where, when the tenant is content to +pay, the British Government and the Land League both combine to prevent +him from offering a reasonable rent to a landlord. + +As a matter of fact, even the most seditionary organs confessed that the +tenants gained little and lost much by the change from the old type of +landlord to the new, for the latter, being practical men, had no +sympathy for the man who was permanently behindhand with his rent. And +no one can say that this habitual arrear was a healthy stimulus to the +moral wellbeing of the tenant himself, though he felt aggrieved at its +being checked. + +There is not the least need to sketch how I gradually became one of the +largest land agents in Ireland. It has been published in other books, +and would only prove wearisome if set out in detail in this volume. So I +will merely observe that only two years after the big Fenian rising, as +it was called--which I should describe as being composed of a rabble of +less importance than the ragamuffins led by Wat Tyler--so little was I +impressed by its magnitude that I went to live at Edenburn. There I laid +out a lot of money in rebuilding the house, spending over £2000 in +additions. This was most idiotic of me, because I had not counted on the +infernal devices of Mr. Gladstone to render Ireland uninhabitable for +peaceful and law-abiding folk. + +When I first settled down there, labourers were working at eightpence or +tenpence a day. Now the lowest rate is two shillings. The labourer +rectified this rate by emigration, and if the farmers, who could more +advantageously have emigrated, had done so, the cry for compulsory +reduction would never have arisen. + +Thus far I have dealt with facts and myself as concerned in them, but I +propose now to relate a few stories, a thing more congenial to my +temperament than any other form of conversational exercise. Whether it +will equally commend itself to the reader is a matter on which I, as an +aged novice in literature, though hopeful, am of course uncertain. + +Indeed I am in exactly the predicament of a farmer's wife who was asked +by the Dowager Lady Godfrey, after a month of marriage, how she liked +her husband. + +'I had plenty of recommendation with him,' was the reply, 'but I have +not had enough trial of him yet to say for sure.' + +There is a story about a honeymoon couple at Killarney which is worth +telling. + +The bridegroom had a valet, a good, faithful fellow, long in his +service, but talkative, a thing his master loathed. He said to him:-- + +'John, I've often told you to hold your tongue about my affairs. This +time I emphatically mean it. If you tell the people in the hotel that I +am on my honeymoon, I'll sack you on the spot.' + +So John promised to be as silent as the grave, but on the third +afternoon, as the happy pair were ascending the stairs of the Victoria +Hotel, they saw by the giggles and smirks of the chambermaids that their +secret had been discovered. + +The bridegroom rang his bell and went for John in a towering passion, +but the fellow held his ground. + +'Is it not unfair the way you are taking on? Sure the other servants did +ask me if you were on your honeymoon, but I was even with them, for I +told them "devil a bit, your honour was not going to marry the lady +until next month."' + +I do not know how that alliance turned out, but the happy pair left the +hotel early next morning. + +I can tell rather more about the matrimonial experiences of an +Archdeacon at Cork, who married firstly a woman who was very fond of +society. She died, and he then married another, who grew very stout. She +also died, and the indefatigable cleric married as his third experiment +a widow cursed with a very violent temper. + +He was one day chaffed on the practical demonstration he had given to +the Romish doctrine of the celibacy of the Church, when he said:-- + +'After all they were a trial, for I married the world, the flesh, and +lastly the devil, and now I tremble whenever I think of recognition in +eternity.' + +This Cork story comes naturally, because at that time I was living near +Cork and very happily too. + +Now and again we took trips up to Dublin when I had business there. + +I am not much of a playgoer, but in Dublin we always went to the theatre +on the chance of hearing some of the proverbial wit of its gallery. + +On one occasion, a lady in the play, when her lover had had some doubt +of her fidelity, exclaimed:-- + +'Would there were a mirror in my side that you could see into my heart.' + +Whereupon a voice from the gods shouted:-- + +'Would not a pain [_i.e._ pane] in your stomach do as well. I have one +myself.' + +Lord Chancellor Brady was of a notoriously convivial temperament, which +did not prevent him being an admirable lawyer when he would allow his +wits to get their heads above water, so to speak, though it was little +enough that he used to dilute his spirits. + +When Jenny Lind sang in some Italian opera, he occupied a seat in the +vice-regal box, and gazed at her through a portentously enormous +_lorgnette_. + +This was too much for a wag in the gallery, who yelled:-- + +'Brady, me jewel, I'm glad to see you're fond of a big glass yet.' + +At the time of the Crimean War, John Reynolds, a very energetic citizen, +was perpetually raising the question about the dangerous practice of +driving outside cars from the side instead of the box--in which he was +undoubtedly right. + +When he went to the theatre, a gallery boy shouted:-- + +'Three cheers for Alderman John Reynolds the hero of Kars.' + +The Lord Mayor of the period who sat beside him was a tallow chandler, +and the same spokesman shouted out:-- + +'Three cheers for his grease the Lord Mayor just back from the races at +Tallagh.' + +That sort of thing seems to be particularly indigenous, the only +parallel being when undergraduates or medical students get gathered +together. + +The eloquence of Irish members in the House of Commons has really +nothing to do with my reminiscences, but I remember one occasion when it +was uncommonly well excelled by a stolid Englishman. + +Fergus O'Connor--an Irishman, as his name betrays--was an ardent +Chartist, and before the Reform Bill was introduced he said in the House +that he had been accused of being a personal enemy of King William's. +This was quite untrue, for if there were only good laws he did not care +if the devil were King of England. + +Sir Robert Peel replied:-- + +'When the honourable member is gratified by seeing the sovereign of his +choice on the throne of these realms, I hope he will enjoy, and I am +sure he will deserve, the confidence of the Crown.' + +Whilst I am anecdotal, perhaps I had better say something about books +into which my stories have been pressed. I was always given to telling +tales, but of course my great time was when Lord Morris and I would sit +trying to cap one another. If he were ever too idle to remember an +anecdote of his own, he would reel off one of mine: as for his own fund +of stories and humour ever approaching exhaustion, that was not to be +thought of. He was far and away the wittiest man I ever met, and if I do +not quote one of his tales on this page it is because no single sample +can show the superb richness of his vintage, and more than one of his +brand will be found scattered in the present volume. + +I gave a good many anecdotes to my dear old friend Mr. W.R. Le +Fanu--cheeriest of fishermen, kindest of jolly good fellows--for his +garrulous book. He observes in his preface that he makes his first +attempt at writing in his eight-and-seventieth year. I am nearly +twenty-four months his senior when thus far on the road of these +reminiscences. I also echo another phrase of his:-- + +'I trust I have said nothing to hurt the feelings of any of my +fellow-countrymen.' + +Just one quotation--and only a little one--which is not mine, but the +warning which Sheridan Le Fanu, author of that capital novel _Uncle +Silas_, gave in the _Dublin University Magazine_ against matrimony:-- + +'Marriage is like the smallpox. A man may have it mildly, but he +generally carries the marks of it with him to his grave.' + +And very true too in his division of an Irishman's life into three +parts:-- + +'The first is that in which he is plannin' and conthrivin' all sorts of +villainy and rascality; that is the period of youth and innocence. The +second is that in which he is puttin' into practice the villainy and +rascality he contrived before; that is the prime of life or the flower +of manhood. The third and last period is that in which he is makin' his +soul and preparin' for another world; that is the period of dotage.' + +Shakespeare's seven ages of man may have been more poetical, but it does +not betray a closer grip of the Irish temperament. + +My other appearance as a literary ghost or rather as an anonymous +contributor was when I supplied Mrs. O'Connell with stories for _The +Last Count of the Irish Brigade_. That was about twenty years ago, and +therefore long after the death of the hero who was uncle to the +Liberator. + +The writer was a daughter of Charles Bianconi, the originator of all the +mail-cars in Ireland, who owned at one time sixteen hundred horses, and +always laughed at the idea of any violence on the part of the peasantry, +pointing out that though his cars daily covered four thousand miles in +twenty-two counties, no injury was ever done to any of his property. + +Mrs. O'Connell was married to a nephew of the great Dan, and he +represented Kerry in Parliament for nearly thirty years. He was an +intimate friend of Thackeray's, and gave him all the idioms of his +delightful Irish ballads. This O'Connell was a clever, amusing fellow, +and precious idle into the bargain. + +I remember one story he told me. + +Mrs. MacCarthy, near Millstreet, had a son, a small proprietor, and he +got married. The mother-in-law lived with the daughter-in-law, who had +rather grand ideas, and set up as parlour-maid in the house a raw lass +just taken from the dairy. + +One afternoon old Mrs. MacCarthy saw the parish priest coming to call, +and told the girl if he asked for Mrs. MacCarthy to say she was not in +but the dowager was. + +Now the maid had never heard the word dowager in her life, but thought +she would make a shot for it, so when his reverence asked if Mrs. +MacCarthy was at home, she blurted out:-- + +'No, sir, but the badger is.' + +And to her dying day the relic of deceased MacCarthy went by the name of +'the badger.' + +Now it is really time I related how my own beauty was spoilt, by +breaking my nose in 1858. + +I was racing the present Knight of Kerry and a young gunner named +Hickson--no relation--on the Strand, when the horse of the latter +collided with my own, and they both fell at the same time. He was a +loose rider, and being shot off some distance from his animal picked +himself up unhurt. I had always a tight grip, so I got entangled in the +saddle which twisted round, and my mare almost literally tore off my +face with her hind hoof. + +I walked back a quarter of a mile, trying to hold my face on to my head +with my hand; and in a month's time I was able to get about again, which +the doctor said was one of the quickest cases of healing he had ever +known. + +But I was absolutely unrecognised by my acquaintances when I reappeared, +and Mr. Dillon the R.M. actually took me for a walk in Tralee to see the +town, thinking I was a stranger, a situation the fun of which I heartily +appreciated. + +Before that infernal gallop I had a hooked nose like the Duke of +Wellington; and it's lucky I got married when I did, for no one would +have had me afterwards, though my own wife always says 'for shame' if I +make the remark in her presence, God bless her. + +When I went to the Abbey of St. Denis, near Paris, I told the verger I +was very anxious to see the likeness of the saint who had walked for six +miles with his head in his hand, because I was the nearest living +counterpart, having walked a quarter of a mile with my face in mine. + +Hickson was universally congratulated on his lucky escape. He went out +to India and was dead in eighteen months, and here am I at eighty with +half my face and some of my health still in spite of the attentive care +of my family and the doctor. + +My present doctor is a capital fellow, and when he comes to see me he +laughs so much at my stories that I always think he ought to take me +half price. Instead of that he regards me as an animated laboratory for +his interesting chemical experiments; but I had the best of him last +time I was laid up, for I made him take a dose of the filthy compound he +had ordered for me the previous day. + +First he said he wouldn't, then he said he couldn't, but I said what was +not poison for the patient could not hurt the physician; and in the end +he had to swallow the dose, making far more fuss over its nasty taste +than I did. But I noted that he at once wrote me a new prescription, +which was as sweet as any advertised syrup, and further, that he +arranged his next visit should be just after I finished the bottle. + +However, that is years and years after the time of which I am treating. + +Yet I am tempted to anticipate, because the mention of Edenburn earlier +in this chapter suggests a quaint individual about whom a few +observations may be made. + +Bill Hogan was our factotum. He was stable-boy, steward, ladies'-maid, +and professional busybody, as well as a bit of a character, though he +possessed none worth mentioning. + +When we were packing up to leave Edenburn, my wife was watching him fill +two casks, one with home-made jam, the other with china. + +Called away to luncheon, she found on her return both casks securely +nailed down. + +'Oh, you should not have done that, Bill,' she said, 'for now we shan't +know which contains which.' + +'I thought of that, ma'am,' replies Bill, 'so I have written S for +chiney on the one, and G for jam on the other.' + +Bill's orthography was obviously original. + +So was the drive he took with a certain cheery guest of mine one Sabbath +morning. + +The said guest desired more refreshment than he was likely to get at +that early hour at Edenburn, so he drove into Tralee, ostensibly to +church, and told Bill to have the car round at the club at one. + +'Well,' narrated Bill afterwards, 'out came the Captain from the club, +having a few drinks taken, and up he got on the car with my help, but at +the corner of Denny Street he pulled up at the whisky store, and said we +must drink the luck of the road. Well we drank the luck at every house +on the way out of the town, and presently in the road down came the +mare, pitching the Captain over the hedge, and marking her own knees, as +well as breaking the shaft. At last we all got home somehow, and there +in the yard was the master, looking us all three up and down as though +he were going to commit us all from the Bench. Then a twinkle came into +his eye, and he said as mild as a dove to the Captain, "I see by the +look of her knees you've been taking the mare to say her prayers."' + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE HARENC ESTATE + + +So large a part has the purchase of this estate made in my more public +appearances, owing to the fact that I have been brought into general +notice through offensive legal proceedings, that a brief account of the +matter must form part of my reminiscences. + +Prior to 1878, a gentleman named Harenc, the owner of a large extent of +landed property in the north of Kerry, died. + +Who the estate subsequently belonged to I am uncertain. Anyhow, +according to the title-deeds, it was somehow divided among ten or twelve +individuals before the property came into the Land Estate Courts for +sale. + +This circumstance suggested to a large number of the tenantry that it +might be an opportunity to avail themselves of the provisions of the +Bright Clauses, and become pretty cheaply the owners of the land on +which they lived. + +After they had offered the sum of £75,000 for the estate, for the +purpose of splitting it up into small holdings, it was found that the +trustee had privately agreed to sell it to Mr. Goodman Gentleman, the +agent for the late Mr. Harenc, for £65,000. + +The tenants were not going to be frustrated by that--being Irishmen and +litigious, which is one and the same thing. So they appealed to the +Landed Estates Court, and induced Judge Ormsby to make an order +annulling the deed of sale, and directing that the property should be +put up in lots suitable to the purposes of the tenants. + +Several of the tenants who did not want the property split up approached +me to suggest I should buy the property, and appeared by counsel--the +present Judge Johnson--in support of me. + +I met the tenants, and stated that if it fell to me I would give each of +them a lease of thirty-one years, and indemnify myself for the +purchase-money by a rise on the entire rental of five per cent, on the +valuation of each estate, according to current estimates, at which they +showed every sign of satisfaction. + +I then offered £80,000 for the whole estate, and was declared the +purchaser. A large bonfire was lighted on February 20th, 1878, by the +tenants at Aghabey, near Luxnow, on their being apprised I had become +their landlord. + +Another section of tenants, however, were anxious that the property +should be bought by Messrs. Lombard and Murphy, private individuals I +never met. + +The judge of the Landed Estate Court, Judge Ormsby, gave them the +property. + +I appealed against this decision, and the Court of Appeal unanimously +reversed the verdict of Judge Ormsby, the three judges being the Lord +Chancellor of Ireland, the Master of the Rolls--who said it was one of +the most important cases decided since the foundation of the Land +Court--and Lord Justice Deasy. I have been told on most excellent +authority that Lord Justice Christian declined to sit because, as he +told the Lord Chancellor, he felt so strongly in my favour that he could +not hear the case with an unbiassed mind. + +There had been a demonstration at the previous decision, but it paled +before the great rejoicings over my success among all the tenantry over +whom I was agent. There were more than fifty bonfires blazing that night +in Kerry, so that the county looked as though it were signalling the +advent of another Armada, as in the fragment Macaulay left. The only +place where any opposition was exhibited was in Castleisland, whence the +Lombard family originally sprang; and there the lighted tar-barrels, +which had been placed on the ruins of the old castle, were extinguished, +to avoid unpleasant contact with a gang of rowdy roughs. + +Messrs. Lombard and Murphy had stated that they were buying on behalf of +the tenants. So I served them with notice that if they undertook to sell +to every tenant his own holding they might have the property. + +This they very wisely declined, and left me in the position that in 1879 +I finally purchased a property on what was called an indefeasible +Parliamentary title, under the approval of Her Majesty's Judges, and in +1881 an Act of Parliament practically took one-third of it from me. + +In 1881 I wrote a letter to Mr. Gladstone, asking him to take my +property and give me back my money. + +To this he returned an evasive answer, declining my offer. + +If the tenants had themselves bought the Harenc property at that time +they would by this time all be paupers, for they could only get +two-thirds of the money from Government, and would have had to borrow +the other third at a heavy rate of interest. + +One man, Mr. Hewson, bought one of the farms for £13,500, and under Mr. +Gerald Balfour's Act of 1896 it was compulsorily sold to the tenants for +about £6000. I have the exact figures at Tralee, but these are +approximate enough for the purpose of demonstration. + +Several of the other tenants took me into Court. + +I had a piece of reclaimable ground on my own hands which I let for +eight shillings an acre. The adjoining tenant, with exactly the same +nature of land--which he swore on oath he had paid more than the +fee-simple in improving--had his rent fixed by the County Court at four +shillings an acre. + +To be sure, if the County Court valuer had not done so, he would have +quickly lost his employment. The position is one incompatible with +honesty, and the value of land, apart from what you can get for it, is a +very disputable matter. + +My relations with my Harenc tenantry were always good. + +After the purchase in 1879 I had no trouble with them, and on the +contrary received the warmest thanks from the parish priest for my +conduct as a landlord. + +I drained soil and imported seed potatoes, besides executing other +improvements. The estate was not in good order when I purchased it, and +I know from other sources that the tenants were well satisfied with me. + +I may as well mention, that having no agencies on the Listowel side of +Kerry, I was never on the Harenc property before the question of +purchasing arose, and it had on it no house in which I and my family +could reside. + +Until 1881 no tenant made any hostile move, but one fellow, who took me +into the Land Court after the Land Act, presented a very curious case. + +This man, whose rent was sixty-five pounds a year, applied to the Court +for reduction. There was a press of business at the time which +necessitated an adjournment, but in the end the Court fixed the new rent +at the same amount as the old rent. + +The tenant appealed; but though the Appeal Court valuers attested that +it was worth seventy-five pounds a year, still the rent was unchanged. + +In other words, the Government sold me a farm and parliamentary title at +sixty-five pounds a year which one set of Commissioners thought fair and +the other thought cheap, and yet I had to spend more than half a year's +rent in defending my title to it. + +There is no appeal as to value, except to the head Commissioners. They +appoint two other Sub-Commissioners to inspect the land, and they of +course avoid disagreeing with their brethren. + +It is very like Mr. Spenlow in _David Copperfield_, who said, 'If you +are not satisfied with Doctors' Commons you can go to the delegates,' +and being asked who the delegates were, he replied that they came from +Doctors' Commons. + +I bought the Harenc property as a speculation, and it turned out a +confoundedly bad one. + +Once I had a conversation with a Land Leaguer on the subject. He said:-- + +'You bought a stolen horse, and must take the consequences.' + +'If that were so,' I retorted, 'I would have an action against the +Government which sold me the horse.' + +I had a correspondence on the subject with Mr. Chamberlain, which +elicited some remarkable letters; but as he marked all of his private +and confidential, they of course cannot be published. + +Now for a few anecdotes, just to show that I have not exhausted my +stock. + +It would be cruel to specify the individual of whom I can truthfully +say, he was the biggest fool that ever disfigured the Irish bench. + +He had been tutor to the children of a great peer, and his patron +subsequently pressed the Prime Minister to do something for him. + +'I can't make him a County Court judge,' said the Prime Minister, 'for +he would never decide rightly.' + +'Well,' said another Minister, 'we are going out, and have not the ghost +of a chance of ever getting in again in our time. Let him be +Solicitor-General for Ireland during the last weeks we hold office.' + +So this was done out of sheer good-nature; but after the election the +Government found themselves saddled with him, for in those days holders +of high office were not shelved at the caprice of Premiers, whilst the +country had unexpectedly returned the old gang to power. + +It has always been averred by the Irish Bar that an office was specially +created for the purpose of shunting this legal luminary into it, but as +an historical fact I will not vouch for the truth of the sarcasm. The +account of the Cabinet conclave came to me on excellent authority. + +When Chief Justice Monaghan died, Lord Morris, who was then a Puisne +Judge of Common Pleas, observed that he himself had a good chance of the +post. + +'What about Keagh and Lawson?' asked his acquaintance, they being +brother judges. + +'Very good men,' replied Lord Morris, 'but as they were not appointed by +the Tories, I don't think they'll promote them.' + +'And how about Ormsby?' continued the other. + +'Ah now,' said Morris, 'you are getting sarcastic.' + +There is a cheery story about Judge Keagh, who has just been mentioned. + +A number of brothers were before him, charged with killing a man at +Listowel. + +The judge was most anxious to ascertain from an important witness what +share each of the accused had in the murder. + +'What did John do?' + +'He struck him with his stick on the head.' + +'And James?' + +'James hit him with his fist on the jaw.' + +'And Philip?' + +'Philip tried to get him down and kick him.' + +'And Timothy?' + +'He could do nothing, my lord, but he was just walking round searching +for a vacancy.' + +Which reminds me that fair play is not always recognised as essential in +these matters, as the following anecdote shows. + +There was a faction feud between the Kellehers and Leehys near Sneem. + +One of the Leehys had a bad leg, and was therefore bound apprentice to a +shoemaker in Sneem. + +On a fair day a solitary Kelleher ventured into the town, and very +speedily the Leehys had half-killed and beaten him as well as their +numbers would allow. + +Suddenly there was a shout, and the poor lame Leehy came hobbling down +the street as fast as his wooden leg would permit. + +'Boys, for the love of mercy,' says he, 'let a poor cripple have one go +at the black-hearted varmint.' + +One of the counsel engaged in the Harenc case was Mr. Murphy, who was a +near relative of Judge Keagh, and he was a man of ready wit into the +bargain. + +There was a company promoter from London, who had induced several people +to take shares in a bogus concern, and was consequently defendant in an +action brought against him in Cork. + +He thought he would make an impression on the wild Irish by being +overdressed and gorgeously bejewelled. + +When Murphy arose to address the jury, he said:-- + +'Gentlemen of the jury, look at the well-tailored impostor without a rag +of honesty to take the gloss off his new clothes.' + +Another counsel in the case was Mr. Byrne. He was always in impecunious +circumstances despite his legal eloquence, but the lack of a balance at +his banker's never troubled him. + +Once he took Chief Justice Whiteside to see his new house in Dublin, +which he had furnished in sumptuous style. + +'Don't you think I deserve great credit for this?' he asked at length. + +'Yes,' retorted Whiteside, 'and you appear to have got it.' + +Lord Justice Christian, who had declined to sit on the Appeal, was +considered one of the soundest opinions in Ireland. When he ceased to be +sole Judge of Appeal, he had addressed the Bar after this fashion:-- + +'As this is the last time I sit as sole Judge of Appeal, it is an +opportune time for me to review my decisions. By a curious coincidence, +I have been thirteen years in this Court, and I have decided thirteen +cases which have been taken to the House of Lords. Eleven of my +decisions were confirmed, one appeal was withdrawn, and the last was a +purely equity case. The two equity lords went with me, the two common +law lords were against me, and when I inform the Bar that my judgment +was reversed on the casting vote of Lord O'Hagan, I do not think they +will attach much importance to the decision.' + +Judge Christian's allusion to the Land Act is most noteworthy, for he +said:-- + +'The property of the country is confided to the discretion of certain +roving commissioners without any fixed rules to guide and direct them. +In fact, we have reverted to the primitive state of society, where men +make and administer the laws in the same breath.' + +Reverting to the Harenc estate, a rather amusing account was once +perpetrated by a Special Commissioner. + +'Never heard tell of Ballybunion?' said his carman to the journalist as +on the road they met the carts laden with sand and seaweed from that +place. 'Why it's a great place intirely in the season, when quality from +all parts come for the sea-bathing.' + +As he evidently regarded it as the first watering-place in the world, +the Special Commissioner thought he had better see the place, and here +is his description:-- + +'A village perched on the summit of a cliff, an ancient castle of the +Fitz-Maurice clan, wonderful caves, and a little hotel are the leading +features of the place. + +'The morning after my arrival, I experienced a wish to see the cliffs +and caves, and no sooner were the words spoken than a figure bearing an +unlit torch appeared at the door. + +'It was Beal-bo (which may be translated into a somewhat Sioux +cognomen--the Yellow Cow). A figure in rags with an inimitable limp, and +a fashion of closing one eye that reminds one of Victor Hugo's Quasimodo +of Notre Dame. A more intimate acquaintance proved there was much +instruction, and a good deal of amusement, to be derived from this +strange character. + +'The grand cave is Beal-bo's special source of revenue. He regards it as +his own property, and takes a pride in it accordingly. This is the +theatre of the many wiles he practises upon unsuspecting strangers. When +he has lured them into the bowels of the cave, he turns down a gallery, +and informs them that they cannot get out unless they cross a pool about +five feet wide. When he has his victim upon his back, he seizes the +opportunity to levy blackmail, for the pool is a quicksand and he +suddenly affects great fear. After he has sunk to the knees in the +yielding sand, the tourist is glad enough to give him a shilling to +hurry across. + +'In another gallery it is necessary for the stranger to cross a pool on +a plank which Beal-bo provides for the occasion, and on this he charges +a toll. He used to let the water in to deepen the pools before the +tourists came through, in order to bring his plank into requisition. + +'Suspended on a cliff between heaven and sea, one hundred feet above the +water, on all sides were piled the immense masses of masonry, the ruins +of which are all that remains of the once proud Castle of Doon. Gazing +in awe down the horrid depths of the "Puffing Hole," Beal-bo informed +us:-- + +'"Twas there Brian used to sleep in the day, and come out at night to +milk the cows up in the Killarney hills, he and his dog."' + +The Special Commissioner looked incredulous, but Beal-bo was +confident:-- + +'"May I never be saved, sir, if I haven't seen him meself, many a night, +sir, as he climbed the cliffs backwards to rob the hawks' nests."' + +How can even a Special Commissioner dispute an eyewitness? + +Still the knowledge that I own a harbour of refuge for Brian will hardly +repay me for all the expense and anxiety the Harenc property has caused +me. + +Before quitting the subject, I can conclude with a more gratifying fact. + +At the time of the Tralee election, when I stood as a Conservative, a +small clique of mob orators and amateur politicians tried to make +political capital out of the history of the Harenc estate, and a priest, +Father M. O'Connor, rode the jaded topic to death. The unkindest cut of +all to him was the direct contradiction by the tenants themselves of +every assertion that their self-constituted champions made on their +behalf. + +'We, the tenants of the Harenc estate, think it our duty to state that +since Mr. S.M. Hussey became purchaser of the above estate, he has in +every respect treated us kindly. He was good enough to give us seed +potatoes for half the price they cost himself; he also drained our +portions of the land at two and a half per cent., employed all the +labourers, and paid them good wages while so employed by him. As a +landlord we find him liberal and generous.' + +To this were appended fifty signatures, and the best part of all is that +the whole of the manifesto was absolutely unsolicited by me, proving an +unexpected source of pleasure. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +KERRY ELECTIONS + + +An election in most places is an occasion for breaking heads, abusing +opponents, and other similar demonstrations of ardent local +philanthropy. Such opportunities are never lost by Kerry men, whose +heads are harder and whose wits are sharper than those of the average +run of humanity. If you are a real Kerry man of respectable convictions, +and self-respecting into the bargain, you will never let the man who is +drinking with you entertain any opinions but your own at election times. +If he contradicts you, it's up with your stick and a crack on his skull, +and as that only tickles him up--having much the effect of a nettle +under a donkey's tail--you then go outside and mutually destroy as much +of each other as can be effected in a fight. Some weeks later, when the +vanquished is able to crawl away from the dispensary doctor, and so save +his own life amid the dire forebodings of that physician, who refuses to +answer for the consequences, you begin to drink with him again just to +show there is no ill-feeling; which of course there is not, if you and +he are both real Kerry men. Naturally, if you get a sullen, revengeful, +calculating Protestant from the North, it's another matter, for he'll be +far too friendly with the constabulary and won't hold with the good old +local ways approved by every Kerry Papist and tolerated by most of the +priests. + +In 1851 there was a Kerry election. A Protestant candidate stood, and so +did one who in those days was a Whig. I went stoutly for the +Protectionist, but the priests plumped for the Free Trader, and their +congregations have been regretting it ever since. + +One tenant was driving in a gig with me to the poll when a priest passed +me on the road and said to my tenant:-- + +'May the blast of the Almighty be upon you, for I know you are being +taken to vote the wrong way.' + +The tenant got very nervous, for in those times it was generally +believed that the priests had power to change men into frogs and toads, +a superstition by no means obsolete even now in lone districts. However, +I took him along very easily, giving him the benefit of the roll of my +tongue as to what he should do, and before he reached the polling-booth +he recovered and voted for the Tory. + +A Mr. Scully from Tipperary was the Whig candidate, and the family was +not popular in its own county. + +A Cork man, making inquiries of a Tipperary man about him, was +answered:-- + +'I don't know this gentleman personally, but I believe we have already +shot the best of the family.' + +Mr. Scully was a very amusing man, and in the House of Commons he used +to go by the nickname of 'old Skull.' + +Lord Monk accosted him by this name one night, and Mr. Scully replied:-- + +'If you have taken the "e y" off your own name, my lord, it is no reason +you should do it off mine.' + +Here is another story of him. + +Mr. Dillwyn said to him, a Roman Catholic:--'I have lived sixty years in +this world, and I don't yet know the difference between the two +religions.' + +'Bydad,' retorted Scully, 'you will not have been five minutes in the +other without finding it out.' + +Shortly after the franchise was enlarged--which threw Imperial +Parliament at the mercy of the ignorant--old Lord Kenmare died and the +present peer was called up to the House of Lords. + +Lord Kenmare was the most popular landlord in Kerry, and he selected a +Roman Catholic cousin of his, Mr. Dease, to stand for the county, Mr. +Roland Blennerhasset, a young Protestant landlord, being started against +him in support of Home Rule principles. + +The Roman Catholic bishop and most of the priests backed Mr. Dease, but +the Home Rule candidate beat him by three to one. Some of the priests, +who were very obnoxious to the people, supported Mr. Blennerhasset, and +were then idolised, whilst a very popular parish priest, who canvassed +for Mr. Dease, had to run for his life. + +From thenceforth no one but a Home Rule candidate had any chance in +Munster, and Mr. Roland Blennerhasset, having seen the error of his +ways, afterwards became a Unionist candidate in England. He is a very +clever man, who was quite young then, but has now blossomed into a K.C. +in London, and is mighty shrewd about speculations. + +The election was great fun except for the stones and bricks, of which +enough were thrown about to build a city without foundations. Mr. Dease +got a blow on his ribs at Castle Island, which told on his health, and +he died soon afterwards. He was a brother of Sir Gerald Dease, and a man +very much liked. + +It was during this election that I was fired at one night at Aghadoe, +returning from Puck Fair at Killorghin. A rumour was started that it was +the work of one of the tenants on Sir George Colthurst's Cork estates, +and the Tralee correspondent of the _Examiner_ telegraphed his belief in +this, adding 'so repugnant are Kerry men to these dastardly outrages.' + +They took to them as greedily as a duck to water in later times, as all +the world knows; and in the light of subsequent events it is delightful +to remember that the _Freeman_ stated, 'All condemn this dastardly act, +for Mr. Hussey is universally respected.' + +It atoned for this lapse into truth by subsequently taking my name in +vain hundreds of times in the bad periods that were ahead. + +There had been a libel case between the Rev. Denis O'Donoghue, parish +priest of Ardfert, and myself. The address of this cleric in proposing +Mr. Blennerhasset at the nomination had annoyed those he assailed +intensely. Up to that point I had been utterly indifferent, but after +that I strained every nerve to defeat Father O'Donoghue's nominee. + +This is an extract from his speech at Ardfert:-- + +'Sam Hussey is a vulture with a broken beak, and he laid his voracious +talons on the consciences of the voters. (Boos.) The ugly scowl of Sam +Hussey came down upon them. He wanted to try the influence of his dark +nature on the poor people. (Groans). Where was the legitimate influence +of such a man? Was it in the white terror he diffused? Was it not the +espionage, the network of spies with which he surrounded his lands? He +denied that a man who managed property had for that reason a shadow of a +shade of influence to justify him in asking a tenant for his vote. What +had they to thank him for?' + +A voice: 'Rack rents.' + +'They knew the man from his boyhood, from his _gossoonhood_. He knew +him when he began with a _collop_ of sheep as his property in the world. +(Laughter.) Long before he got God's mark on him. It was not the man's +fault but his misfortune that he got no education. (Laughter.) He had in +that parish schoolmasters who could teach him grammar for the next ten +years. The man was in fact a Uriah Heep among Kerry landlords. +(Cheers.)' + +The result of this and other incentives to irritability was that the +voters for Mr. Dease had to be escorted by troops and constabulary. + +The sporting proclivities had already been shown over a race. In the +County Club at Tralee there was an altercation between Mr. Sandes and a +leading 'Deasite' as to the rival merits of a bay mare belonging to one +and a chestnut horse owned by the other. + +Quoth Mr. Sandes:-- + +'I'll run you a two mile steeplechase for a hundred guineas if you like, +and I'll call my horse Home Rule--do you call yours Deasite; each to +ride his own horse.' + +No Kerry man could refuse such a challenge, and the race excited more +interest than the election. + +Mr. Sandes won, leaving 'Deasite' nowhere, and this helped Mr. +Blennerhasset to head the poll. + +More than one man is asserted to have voted for:--'Him you know that me +landlord wants me to vote for.' + +But I should say several dozen voted for:-- + +'Him you know that the priest, God bless him, tells me to vote for.' + +The libel over which the action arose was alleged to have been published +in the _Cork Examiner_, and the words complained of were pretty sturdy. + +The jury returned a verdict of one farthing for the plaintiff priest, +and I do not think he derived as much advertisement out of it as Miss +Marie Corelli obtained from a similar coin of the realm. + +Of course all this should have shown me that I had in my own interests +better keep clear of Kerry politics, but after I had bought the Harenc +estate, I stood for Tralee as a Tory against The O'Donoghue, who was a +Nationalist. I never supposed I was going to get in, but I really had a +capital run for the Parliamentary Handicap, though I was weighted by +political convictions and penalised by my creed. The priests made a most +active set against me. There were only fifty Protestants on the +register, and yet I managed to get one hundred and thirty votes, for +which suffrages some eighty honest men must have been well worrited in +the confessional. + +The O'Donoghue polled one hundred and eighty votes, and I believe a good +many of his supporters had strong views on the currency question, and he +was backed by a wealthy merchant. The constituency is now merged into +the county, and the remotest chance of returning a rational member is +now at an end. + +The O'Donoghue did not stand after the merging of the constituency, +though he was well used to electioneering work and had fought me very +pleasantly, with as much devil about him as would make an angel +palatable. + +I did not much care for the whole thing. Still I was always a bit of a +stormy petrel rejoicing in a gale, and my capacity has not waned even in +my eightieth year. + +The mob indulged in some lively work. A good many windows of houses +belonging to my supporters were broken and a man stabbed. + +The polling day was made the occasion of a public holiday, which meant +that the bulk of the population was imbibing a great deal more than was +compatible with the laws of equilibrium. Some amusement was caused by +the panic of The O'Donoghue's supporters at the votes I was getting, and +presently they brought up in cars one poor man in an advanced stage of +consumption, and another unable to walk from old age. + +It was a wearisome day to me; but before its close it became abundantly +evident that if the electors were allowed to exercise a free discretion +and vote according to their consciences, I should have headed the poll +by a large majority. However in Ireland man proposes and the priest +disposes. + +At a meeting of the Conservative electors in Cork, Mr. Standford read a +telegram announcing the return of The O'Donoghue in Tralee, which was +received with hisses. He said the reason I had stood there was a +requisition, signed by Sir Henry Donovan, in the presence of nine grand +jurors of the County of Kerry, calling on me to do so. Sir Henry Donovan +had since turned over to The O'Donoghue from the man he had forced into +the field. Now that would teach them not to be fooled by Liberal +promises. It almost made him believe no truth, no honour, and no +sincerity existed among their opponents. + +This was received with applause, which was renewed with laughter when +Mr. Young observed:-- + +'I will make one remark. I think Sir Henry Donovan and The O'Donoghue +are well met.' + +To show that strong views in my favour were not confined to Protestants, +I may quote the following letter written from the Augustinian Convent in +Drogheda by J.A. Anderson, O.S.A.:-- + +'If the electors of Tralee return Mr. O'Donoghue (_alias_ The +O'Donoghue) as their representative in the coming Parliament, they will +be false to Ireland, false to the men that galvanised the dead body that +Gavan Duffy left on "the dissecting table" before starting for +Australia, and they will have the honour (?) of returning to Parliament +the greatest political renegade to Irish nationality that this +generation has known.' + +A lady has recently drawn my attention to a footnote in Mr. Lecky's +_History of Ireland_, where is quoted from a letter of my ancestor, +Colonel Maurice Hussey, the following opinion:-- + +'It--i.e. Tralee--was a nest of thieves and smugglers, and so it always +will be until nine parts of ten of O'Donoghue's old followers be +proclaimed and hanged on gibbets on the spot.' + +So when O'Donoghues have troubled me, it is a case of history repeating +itself, and if the percentage of the followers of the modern chieftain +had been 'removed'--as the modern phrase in Ireland ran--according to +the manner advocated by my ancestor, I could have voted in Parliament +against dismembering the Empire to gratify the eagerness of an old man +to truckle to the traitors of the country intrusted to his care. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +DRINK + + +Of course one of the great troubles in Ireland is drink. I am no +advocate for teetotalism, for I think a man who can enjoy a moderate +glass is a better one than his brother who has to drink water in order +that he may not yield to the overpowering 'tempitation'--to quote Mr. +Huntley Wright--to get drunk! But for my fellow-countrymen I can see +that drink is a terrible curse, one which is the cause of half the +crime, half the illness, and more than half the misery that exists +there. + +Of all Irish benefactors, possibly Father Mathew was the greatest; but +in my boyish days, when it became known that men, not yet in a lunatic +asylum, had taken up the notion that human life was possible without +alcoholic drinks, the wits of Kerry and Cork were heartily diverted at +the bare idea. + +It used to be the stock joke after dinner, even when Father Mathew was +in the zenith of his triumph. + +In Cork if you laugh at a thing you can generally suppress it, for, +whereas all Irishmen are keenly susceptible to ridicule, the Cork folk +are even more so. + +The cold water business furnished endless jests, but it survived them. + +Perhaps the strangest thing of all was the clergyman who preached +against it as being irreligious, taking as the text of his sermon, +'Wine, that maketh glad the heart of man.' + +I like a man who is disinterested, therefore I wish to remind the +present generation that Father Mathew came of a stock of distillers, and +his family was among the first to suffer by his preaching. + +It was probable there would be a reaction after his death; and when that +event took place, after the famine and fever, none really took his place +to warn the diminishing population, in sufficiently effective fashion, +of all the ills that drink was laying up for them. + +Wherever, in my work, I found Government relief works, within a stone's +throw of every pay office a whisky shop started into operation. + +New Ireland arose from the famine, and she has never since shown much +sign of temperance. Indeed, an excessive amount of money is, and has +ever since then been, spent on liquor in Ireland. + +At Castleisland, the scene of so many outrages, the population of the +town is thirteen hundred, and the number of whisky shops is fifty-two. +Very nearly the same proportion can be noticed in several other towns. + +There never was an outrage committed without an empty whisky bottle +being found close to the scene of the murder. + +In the worst time a moonlighter slept for a fortnight close to the house +of an Irish landlord, who was well aware that he was there for the +express purpose of shooting him, but he never even attempted it. + +'Time after time I lay in a ditch to have a go at him, but he would ride +by, looking for all the world as if he would shoot a flea off the tail +of a shnipe, so that, with all the whisky in the world to help me, I +dared not do it,' was his explanation before he left for America. + +Did you never hear the parish priest's sermon? + +'It's whisky makes you bate your wives; it's whisky makes your homes +desolate; it's whisky makes you shoot your landlords, and'--with +emphasis, as he thumped the pulpit--'it's whisky makes you miss them.' + +There is as much truth in that sermon as in any that was preached last +Sunday between Belfast and Glengariff. + +As a matter of fact, the profits to the drink retailer are not so +enormous as might be imagined, owing to the competition. + +In the neighbourhood of Castleisland there is one group of twelve houses +and nine of these are whisky booths. However anxious the population may +be to consume immoderate amounts of the fiery liquor, and however large +the traffic on the road--never a big thing in Ireland, except on +market-day--the division of the local receipts by nine is apt to +diminish the profits in each case. + +It has been suggested to me by a lady who knows Kerry well, that the +consumption of drink might be diminished if a law were passed forcing +the publicans to sell food. As she very truly remarks, it is often +impossible for the country folk, even on market-day, when coming into a +town, to get food for immediate consumption. + +However, I do not think this would have any effect. When away from his +cabin the Irishman and the Irishwoman want drink, not food, for there +are a few potatoes at home which will provide all the solid sustenance +most of them desire. + +If her proposal were made law, each publican would keep a loaf in his +window, and there it would stay for a year. + +That reminds me of the man who was waiting in Waterford Station on March +12th, and to pass the time had a ham sandwich at the bar. + +After one mouthful he asked the astonished barmaid for another, made of +February bread, because he really felt that it was time January bread +might have a rest. + +To give an example of how Irishmen crave for drink, I will relate an +incident connected with the Parnell Commission. + +Three of Lord Kenmare's tenants had been sent over in charge of an +experienced and reliable man to give evidence, and on their return +journey, when they arrived at North Wall--the hour being 6 A.M.--the +conductor said:-- + +'There is cold meat, or bread and cheese. Now, what will your fancy be?' + +Far from wanting nutrition after an all night journey, or even the +soothing solace of a cup of tea, it was half a pint of whisky apiece +that they all asked for. + +Just as much drinking exists among the Protestants as among the Roman +Catholics, only there is a trifle more geniality in the bibulous +propensities of the latter. Much less affects an Irishman than a +Scotsman. The latter, when he has absorbed all the whisky he can +assimilate in a bout--and no bad amount it is, let me observe--will go +quietly to sleep. But an Irishman's joy is incomplete unless he knocks +somebody down, which may account for the fact that the Irish are the +best soldiers in the world. + +One redeeming feature in the liquor traffic is the increasing +consumption of porter, for that at least has some nourishment in it, and +is reasonably wholesome, whereas the whisky is vilely adulterated, not +only by the publicans before it reaches the consumer, but also in some +of the factories. + +Puck Fair is the great annual fête and mart of Killorglin; and it is so +called because a goat is always fastened to a stave on a platform, and +gaily bedizened. Formerly the animal was attached to the flagstaff on +the Castle. To this fair all Kerry for many miles congregates, and the +neighbouring roads towards evening are literally strewn with bibulous +individuals of either sex. + +On one occasion a Killorglin publican was in jail, and his father asked +for an interview because he wanted the recipe for manufacturing the +special whisky for Puck Fair. It has been a constant practice to prepare +this blend, but the whisky does not keep many days, as may be gathered +from the recipe, which the prisoner without hesitation dictated to his +parent:-- + +A gallon of fresh, fiery whisky. A pint of rum. A pint of methylated +spirit. Two ounces of corrosive sublimate. Three gallons of water. + +An Irishman's constitution must be tougher than that of an ostrich to +enable him to consume much of the filthy poison. Temperance orators are +welcome to make what use they like of the recipe of this awful +decoction, annually sold to a confiding population. + +It is not considered etiquette to come out of Killorglin sober on Puck +Fair; and, judging by the state of the people in the vicinity in the +evening, this social custom is rigidly observed. + +They are wonderfully particular in Kerry in attending to exactly what is +congenial to them, and if it were not for the thickness of their heads a +good many lives would be lost. + +There was a gauger, in a central county in Ireland, killed by a blow on +the head from a stick. + +The man who struck him, in his defence, stated:-- + +'I did not hit him a very hard blow, and why the devil did the +Government make a gauger of a man that had a head no thicker than an +egg-shell?' + +Mighty few of the Killorglin folk have egg-shell heads, and the bulk of +these do not come to maturity. + +The avowed fact that lunacy is largely on the increase in Ireland has +been pronounced by the committee which sat on the question in Dublin to +be mainly due, not only to excessive drinking, but to the assimilation +of adulterated spirits. + +Though the foregoing recipe furnishes a pretty fair example, I certainly +would not wager that it could not be beaten elsewhere in Ireland. + +For a long time the priests were entirely apathetic on the subject, but +latterly they are bestirring themselves, and are doing their best to put +down wakes, which simply mean one or more nights of disgusting +intemperance in the immediate vicinity of the corpse. + +Keening, by the way, is dying out, and what remains of this curious, +mournful waiting is now almost entirely in the hands of old women who +are experts in the art, and get remunerated not only in drink but also +in cash. + +It is, however, possible that when I am deploring the alcoholic +tendencies of the Irishman, that these may be due to his more vegetarian +dietary, and not to any undue natural craving for alcohol. This is borne +out by the fact that no Irishman will willingly drink alone, and that +his potations are in the shops where whisky and porter are sold for +consumption on the premises, or at fairs, markets, weddings, or wakes, +to the diminishing number of which I have just called attention. + +The parish priest of Dingle recently stated in court that in a +population of seventeen hundred there were over fifty licensed houses, +and he rightly declared that all dealings in licences should for the +present be only by transfer, and that for five years at least no new +licences should be granted. The argument so often heard against stopping +licences is that then more illicit drinking will ensue, but this does +not convince me that the redundant licences should be renewed. + +My remedy would be to increase all renewals of licences to fifty pounds +apiece, and to apply the difference as compensation to unrenewed +licences. If a man fits up his house as a shebeen, and has conducted it +tolerably, he ought to receive just compensation when his licence is +cancelled owing to there being too many in a district. + +If this is not done, he would be the victim of as great a robbery as was +perpetrated on the unfortunate landlords by the Land Act. + +I have a yarn or two on the subject of drink which may be appropriately +related here. + +Old David Burus, the steward at Ardrum, County Cork, was a great +character who had got inextricably confused between the Council of Trent +and the Trant family in the vicinity, and no amount of explanation could +ever enlighten him. Directly he had begun to be jovial, he used to +say:-- + +'My blessing on Councillor Trent, who put a fast on meat, but not on +drink.' + +And he proved the devoutness of his gratitude by conscientiously getting +drunk every Friday. + +That recalls to my mind the case of the illustrious gentleman--also a +fellow-countryman, I regret to say--who committed burglary and murder +when there was an opportunity, but religiously refrained from eating +meat on Friday. + +Reverting to David Burus: on one occasion I remonstrated with him on the +amount of whisky he drank. + +'I did drink a great deal of whisky, and I would have drunk more.' was +his reply, 'if I had known it was going to be as dear as it is now.' + +He evidently regretted not having thoroughly saturated himself with +alcohol. It was the only way in which he could have possibly increased +his consumption. + +He was wont to say that if he had known the trick Mr. Gladstone was +going to play on honest, God-fearing men, with sound stomachs and a +decent appetite, by imposing a ten shilling duty on every gallon of +whisky, he would have drunk his fill beforehand, even if _delirium +tremens_ had been the penalty. + +Such hard drinking as his, and so calmly avowed, must, even in the south +of Ireland, be fortunately rare, for few constitutions can stand +conversion into animated whisky vats. + +There was a farmer at Kanturk railway station who confided to the +stationmaster that he himself on the previous evening had been as drunk +as the very devil. + +A parson on the platform, overhearing him, said:-- + +'You make a mistake, my friend, the devil does not drink. He keeps his +head cool for the express purpose of watching such as you.' + +The countryman replied:-- + +'You seem to be very well acquainted with the respected gentleman's +habits, your riverince.' + +And then they walked off different ways. + +Which reminds me of another clerical incident. + +A parish priest within twenty miles of Tralee, who subsequently left the +Church--I will not say on account of his thirst, though, as that was +unquenchable, it no doubt conduced to his retirement--came into the +parlour of the manager of the bank with two farmers to have a bill +discounted. + +The manager, having ascertained the farmers were good security, cashed +the bill and gave the proceeds to the priest. He was very much surprised +on the following day at the two farmers walking into his room with the +money. + +'What's the meaning of this?' says he. + +'Well, your honour, we could not stay in the parish, if we refused to +join his reverence in the deal, which was sure to be a very bad one for +us. So we thought the best thing to do was to get him a little hearty at +his own expense on the way home. And then we picked his pocket and have +brought the money to your honour, whilst he is cursing every thief +outside his parish, and will probably ask the congregation to make up +the amount next Sunday.' + +And that is a true story, and as illustrative of the Irish peasant as +any you could ever get told to you. + +A coffin-maker named Sullivan thrived in Tralee. He received an order +for a coffin for a man living about six miles away from the town. It was +not called for for a week, and so he went out to the house where the man +lay dead to inquire the cause. + +When he came back to Tralee, he said to a friend:-- + +'Who do you think I saw, Mick, but that scoundrel of a corpse sitting in +a ditch eating a piece of pig's cheek.' + +That reminds me of another coffin story. + +A man who lived in Cork was notorious for being always behind time for +everything. He knew his failing, and was rather touchy about it. + +One night, stumbling out of a whisky shop, he lurched into a yard, fell +against a door, which gave way, and finished his slumbers peacefully in +the shed, which was the storehouse of an undertaker. + +In the morning he awoke, rubbed his eyes in astonishment at the strange +surroundings amid which he found himself, and after recollecting his own +pet proclivity, as he ruefully surveyed all the empty coffins, +ejaculated:-- + +'Just my usual luck. Late for the Resurrection.' + +Which recalls another tale:-- + +A man was dead drunk, so some friends, for a lark, brought him into a +dark room, lit a lot of phosphorus, and made up one of their party in +the guise of a devil before they flung a bucket of water over their +victim. + +'Where am I?' asked the fellow, looking round 'skeered.' + +'In hell,' retorted the devil, with exaggerated solemnity. + +'Heaven bless your honour, as you know the ways of the place, will you +get me a drop of drink?' + +But a mere drop does not suffice as a friend of mine found out. + +He was wont to reward his car-driver with a glass of whisky, and gave it +to him in an antique glass, which did not contain as much as cabby +wished for. + +'That's a very quare glass, captain,' says he. + +'Yes,' replied Captain Stevens; 'that's blown glass.' + +'Why, Captain,' says the carman, 'the man must have been damned short in +the breath that blew that.' + +This would no doubt have been the opinion of a Dublin carman who was in +the habit of bringing a present to an acquaintance of mine from a lady +living at some distance, and being recompensed with a glass of grog. By +degrees, however, the water grew to be the predominant partner in the +union within the glass, so at last he burst out in disgust:-- + +'If you threw a tumbler of whisky over Carlisle Bridge, it would be +better grog than that at the Pigeon House.' + +Which being interpreted into cockneyism would read, 'If you threw a +glass of whisky over Westminster Bridge it would be better grog than +that at Greenwich Pier.' + +Still all consumption of liquor is not confined to Ireland, and I well +remember when I was with Bogue in Scotland, that one night he had a +fellow-farmer of the very best type to dine with him, and about ten +o'clock, with much difficulty, my man and I hoisted him into the saddle. + +An hour afterwards we heard a knock at the door, and a voice rather +quaveringly inquired:-- + +'Pleash, can you tell me the way to X., I have lost my way?' + +The tracks next morning revealed he had been riding round and round the +house without once quitting the vicinity, which was almost as bad as +Mark Twain's famous nocturnal perambulation with his pedometer, when he +went on a tramp abroad! + +Of potation stories I could tell scores more, and the Tralee Club has +seen enough whisky imbibed within its walls to drown all the members. + +A quaint character named Mullane was at one time steward, and decidedly +astonished a member, who was a total abstainer, by charging him in his +bill for three tumblers of punch. + +'Well,' explained Mullane, 'it's this way. Some take six tumblers, and +some takes none, so I strikes an average--and to tell you the truth, +it's mighty convenient for the great majority.' + +A quaint member of the club was Mr. Edward Morris. He was extremely +diminutive, and he wore an eyeglass. One evening he was standing on the +first landing, pondering in a bemused state whether he could get +downstairs without falling, when a pursey little doctor trotted past him +without even touching the bannister. + +This inspired Morris with courage, so he let go his hold of the +balustrade, whereupon he promptly fell on the physician, and both rolled +to the bottom of the stairs. + +Thence in hiccuping tones were heard:-- + +'Waiter! Waiter, put the glass in my eye, and let me see who the +scoundrel was who struck me.' + +On another evening in the club, when he had imbibed very freely, he +ordered an additional glass of grog, and began to moralise aloud, +addressing it after this fashion:-- + +'Glass of grog, if I drink you now, you'll cut the legs from under me. +And yet I want you, and I will not do without you. So I know what I will +do. I'll go to bed and I'll drink you there, for I don't care a damn +what you do to me then.' + +The indifference of a drunken man to subsequent consequences was rather +quaintly shown by that weird individual Dr. Tanner, when he went up to +Sir Ellis Ashmead Bartlett in the lobby of the House of Commons, and +abruptly observed:-- + +'You're a fool.' + +Sir Ellis fixed him with his eyeglass, and, in disgusted tones, +replied:-- + +'You're drunk.' + +'I suppose so,' retorted the Irishman, 'but then I'll be sober +to-morrow'--in the most plaintive tone, then in a crescendo of scorn--' +whereas you'll always be a fool.' + +Moreover as he slouched down the lobby, he was heard to say:-- + +'If I do get a headache, I've a head to have it in, not a frame on which +to hang an eyeglass.' + +That is a political amenity on which I will not dwell. + +Very little money-lending is to be heard of in the south of Ireland, and +in all my experience I only remember one case in Kerry. Tenants in +Ireland, however, have great horror of breaking bulk, and many of them +will do a bill for a neighbour when they have deposits in the bank for +themselves. As it is a point of honour never to refuse a friend in this +respect, you can easily imagine the amount of 'paper' which is +fluttering. + +Even when a farmer has a tidy sum of money on deposit with the bank at +one per cent., if he wants to employ a sum for a short time, say for the +purchase of cattle, he prefers to raise the money on a bill at six per +cent. + +That is to say, the bank is lending him his own money at five per +cent.--a truly Hibernian trait, which it would be difficult to beat +anywhere. + +A bill for drink is not recoverable, but occasionally an insidious +publican will take a man's I.O.U. and sue on that. + +One applied to me to help him to get the money from a tenant. + +'You must show me the account,' said I. + +As I suspected, there was whisky in it, and I declined on the spot. + +All drink in Ireland is on cash down terms only. + +If they gave tick, they would never recover the money, and if every +Irishman is a knowing scoundrel, the publican is a trifle more +knowledgable than the customer, whose brains are besodden. + +A man, who had been a servant of mine, started a public near Tralee, and +thinking he would get customers from the other whisky stores, he gave +tick. His popularity lasted just as long as the tick did, and a week +later he was broke. I do not say so much about Tralee being able to +support one hundred and sixty liquor shops, because there is a little +shipping, but how Cahirciveen can enable fifty publicans to thrive is a +melancholy mystery to me. + +I was animadverting once, at Dingle, on the topic, when one of my +labourers remarked:-- + +'It's the gentry does the drinking.' + +'Now that's very curious,' said I, 'for as there are only two of us, and +as I never touch spirits, the other must have such a thirst that he'd +consume the bay if only it were made of whisky.' + +In these democratic days, it is as well to resist any undue aspersion on +the upper classes. + +To pass any aspersion on the bibulous propensities of a tenant of mine +named Flaherty would be impossible. When he was buying his farm, I told +him the Government ought to take him on very easy terms, when they +became his landlords. + +'And for why?' he asked. + +'Because,' I replied, 'the duty you pay on the whisky you drink is more +than twenty times your annual rent.' + +I had, however, one personal illustration of the drinking propensity in +Scotland, which I think is worth preserving. It is some years now since +I went to see a certain farmer who, his wife told me, on noticing my +approach, was compelled to go upstairs to cool his head as it was after +dinner. She said this much in the same casual tone, as I should mention +that my wife had gone up early to dress for that meal. + +Next, I heard heavy splashing of water, and then a crash which portended +that the farmer had fallen over the washstand, making a fearful clatter. + +In rushed the drab of a servant maid, perfectly indifferent to my +presence, shrieking:-- + +'O missus, come up, come up, the maister is just miraculous among the +chaney!' + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +PRIESTS + + +I have been asked, since my friends became aware that I am perpetrating +my reminiscences, whether I was going to write anything supplemental to +Mr. MacCarthy's _Priests and People_, and _Five Tears in Ireland_. + +My reply was:-- + +'Certainly not.' + +To begin with, I have many friends among Roman Catholics, and plenty of +cheery acquaintances among the priests. Secondly, the state of feud and +hostility on which Mr. MacCarthy dilates is more likely to be found in +Ulster and Leinster than in Kerry, where the Roman Catholics form more +than nine-tenths of the population. + +On one occasion, when a distinguished Englishman was staying at +Killarney House, I told him that he should go to the north to see the +strangest sight in the world--two races hating one another for the love +of God. + +It is not my business to estimate what would happen in Kerry if a few +thousand rabid Orangemen were plumped down among the present +inhabitants; but according to existing circumstances creeds are not torn +to tatters nor religion disfigured by strife and slander. + +All the same, I am bound to say that the Roman Catholic priests, when I +was young, were much superior to those of to-day. They were drawn from a +better class, because, having to be educated at Rome, or, at least, as +far away as St. Omer, entailed some considerable outlay by their +relatives. Moreover, they brought back from their continental seminaries +broader ideas than can be acquired in purely Irish colleges. Their +interest had been stimulated at the most impressionable age in much of +which the farmers and labourers had no conception. Therefore the priest +could address his flock with authority, and was invariably looked up to +as well as obeyed. + +The parish priest at Blarney erected a tower in commemoration of the +battle of Waterloo, and a public house in the vicinity bears the name to +this day. + +What parish priest would raise a memorial to any English victory in the +twentieth century? + +The greatest curse to the Irish nation has been Maynooth, because it has +fostered the ordination of peasants' sons. These are uneducated men who +have never been out of Ireland, whose sympathies are wholly with the +class from which they have sprung, and who are given no training +calculated to afford them a broader view than that of the narrowest +class prejudice. + +As for the much discussed Irish university, I do not myself believe it +will be founded. + +Should even an English Government be blind enough to allow it, an Irish +university could only become a hot-bed of treason, and practically all +educated members of the Roman Catholic community would avoid sending +their sons to such a seminary of sedition, where the influence would be +insidiously directed to make the undergraduates even more hostile to +England than they already are by inherited instincts and by all they +have been told in their own homes. + +On the very day this page is written, I have mentioned the question of +an Irish university to two Protestants in the Carlton, both Members of +Parliament, and both approved of the idea in a languid way. I have also +mooted the topic this afternoon to two leading Roman Catholics, and both +vehemently disapproved, alleging that it will work endless mischief. + +As far back as 1872 Dr. Macaulay wrote:-- + +'The Irish university question has been put off from year to year, and +at length presses for settlement.' + +In the best interests of Ireland, may the same thing be written thirty +years hence! + +If the Roman Catholics of England send their sons to Oxford and +Cambridge, why should not more Irish Roman Catholics send theirs to +Trinity College, Dublin? Only a very few do, although the education is +said to be quite as good as at either of the great English Universities. +A far tighter hold is kept, however, on the Roman Catholic laity in +Ireland than in England. It always surprises English people to learn +that, in Ireland, Roman Catholics are not allowed to enter Protestant +churches to attend either funerals or weddings. Nor do I think there is +much probability of these restrictions being removed. + +Of course, in the years of outrage and terror in Ireland, many of the +priests from the altar denounced loyal members of the congregation, or +incited their hearers to deeds of wickedness by their inflammatory +sermons. These facts are among the blackest in the history of any creed, +and I do not hesitate to class the work of some of the priests who +disgraced their Church with the worst perpetrations of the Spanish +Inquisition. + +Fortunately all priests were not, and are not, after this style. I have +known many good and worthy men among them, as well as capital fellows, +fond of a joke. Moreover, the Roman Catholic Church did not always take +the side of the Land League. + +For example, the bishops and parish priests laboured assiduously to get +Lord Granard his rents from his estates in Longford. + +Why? + +Because Maynooth held a great mortgage on the property. + +In the famous De Freyne case, the parish priest energetically assisted +the landlord in every way in his power, because the property was heavily +mortgaged with Roman Catholic charges. + +These are two facts that occur to me on the spur of the moment, and +probably other people could supply similar instances. + +As for the Episcopacy, it was the violence of Dr. Walsh, the Archbishop +of Dublin, which prevented him from obtaining the coveted cardinal's +hat. This was given to Dr. Logue, the Archbishop of Armagh and Primate +of Ireland, a witty, capable, clever man, who had such an inveterate +habit of taking snuff that he did so even when conversing with Queen +Victoria. + +'It prevents me from sniffing out heresy,' he explained, with a twinkle, +'and so gives me an excuse for shutting my eyes to the different views +of my neighbours.' + +The Queen was much amused, but the remark conveyed a true view of Irish +Catholicism. + +The fact is, his bishop can do very little with a treasonable man when +once he has been inducted a parish priest; and the curate who obtains +irregular fees, of course, panders even more to the taste of his +congregation. A bishop will haul up a tonsured subordinate mighty sharp +for any breach of ecclesiastical duty, but when it comes to politics and +instigation to crime, he finds it far more difficult to keep a tight +hand. + +As a broad rule it may be stated that the bishops are well selected, and +are of a much higher type than the average priest. + +Of the bishops of Killarney, Moriarty put down Fenianism with no light +hand, preaching, as I have already shown, in the most manly and emphatic +style--which could have been emulated with advantage in other +Episcopacies in my country. MacCarthy was a bookworm from Maynooth, who +played the deuce with the diocese, allowing all the priests to run wild, +and by his laxity becoming criminally responsible for much of the +terrible condition of Kerry. Higgins was the nominee of a friend of +Moriarty, and he worked hard to suppress outrages, by which course he +certainly did not add to his popularity among his flock. In his upright +and courageous conduct he has been worthily emulated by his successor, +Coffey, whose demise occurred only in the present year. + +Kerry possesses one bishop, fifty-one parish priests and administrators, +sixty-nine curates, and eleven priests occupied in tuition. + +There are six religious houses for males, and seventeen convents, +representing about five hundred inhabitants, as well as three hundred +students, which, with the occupants of subsidiary sacerdotal +establishments, is estimated to make up 1265 persons. + +In 1871, when the population of Kerry was 196,586, there were 337 +priests and nuns. In 1901, when the population had become reduced to +165,726, the priests and nuns had increased to 546. + +And these statistics bring me to a salient point:-- + +The one reality above all others in Irish life is the grip of the +Church. + +In the last book which I have received from the library--_Paddy-Risky_ +by Mr. Andrew Merry--one of the stories is that of a poor widow +beggaring herself in order to provide the parish chapel with a bell, and +that is the kind of thing you hear of everywhere. + +The Roman Catholic Church presides over every function in the life of +each member of its community, and the priest charges heavily for +administering the rites. + +At a wedding he does not take a prescribed fee, but makes a bargain, +usually with the family of the bride. I have known as much as +twenty-five pounds paid to a priest at a small farmer's marriage; and +the sum obtained is very often out of all proportion to the dowry of the +bride, or even to the funds of the happy pair. + +An example may be cited--the case of a labourer in my own employ, who +received forty pounds as his wife's fortune, and had to pay eight to the +parish priest. + +It is the same thing with funerals, over which a ridiculous amount is +still spent, although the wake is falling into disrepute under the ban +of the Church, and women are now rarely hired to 'keen.' There is a +craze to have a number of priests attending the service, and a good many +of them do go, very well pleased, as to a picnic. + +In parishes where the poverty is something appalling the members of the +congregation not only contribute Peter's Pence, but you cannot go into +the chapel without seeing some tiny candles lighted before the altar of +Mary, which must literally represent the scriptural mites of the widow +and orphan. + +Before I relapse into a few stories, let me say something about the +Protestant clergy. + +They are nearly always recruited from the ranks of the smaller Irish +gentry, and whilst, perhaps, richer in proportion than many of the +curates and incumbents in England, there are no 'fat' livings, and all +are distinctly poorer since the Disestablishment. + +The average in Kerry, and over most of the south of Ireland, is a +stipend of two hundred pounds a year, which involves reading services in +two churches each Sunday, and therefore puts the clergyman to the +expense of keeping a horse and trap. + +About 1820 the district around Castleisland was divided into three +parishes--Castleisland, Ballincushlane, and Killeentierna--the joint +revenues of which were eighteen hundred a year. These were vested in the +Lord Bandon of the time, who lived in the lovely cottage on the upper +Lake of Killarney. + +He allowed a curate fifty pounds a year to do the joint duties, and I +hardly think the man was worth the money. He subsequently obtained a +Government living and was in the habit of asking his congregation, as +they went into church, whether they wanted a sermon or not. The general +concensus of opinion was a polite negative--to the relief of all +parties. + +The method of electing a vicar in Ireland since the Disestablishment is +both sensible and practical. + +Three parish nominators, one lay diocesan nominator, two clerical +diocesan nominators, and the bishop, between them, choose the new +incumbent. By the constitution of this Court of Election, it is certain +that no one will be appointed to whom the parish objects, whilst if the +parish desires the nomination of an incompetent man, that is checked by +the diocesan voters in conjunction with the bishop. + +In fact it is an admirable system, far better than the patronage plan +still rampant in England. + +The Irish bishops are also chosen by nominators drawn from the clergy +and laity of the diocese, provided a two-thirds majority be obtained for +any one candidate. If not, the Irish bench of bishops jointly selects +the new wearer of lawn sleeves. + +This, again, works with perfect smoothness and never arouses the +ill-feeling aroused by the selections nominally made by the Prime +Minister. To-day the _Foundations of Belief_ may not be an essay which +causes confidence in the ability of the author to pick the best bishops, +and all the much-vaunted religious convictions of Mr. Gladstone did not +make his nominations to the Episcopacy particularly successful. It is +now no secret that Lord Cairns used to choose bishops for Disraeli and +that Lord Shaftesbury often was consulted by Prime Ministers who knew +more about sport than clericalism. + +So far as I can recollect, among all the Irish clergy I have met not one +was an Englishman, though there are plenty of Irish in the English +Established Church. + +All the Disestablished Church of Ireland is exceedingly +anti-ritualistic. + +'I do not want Mock-Turtle, when I am so near real Turtle,' said Sir +George Shiel, when asked to visit St. Alban's, Holborn, one of the +Ritualistic temples--an observation which represents the feeling +animating clergy and laity in Ireland, though they are none the better +pleased that out of the funds of the Disestablishment, Maynooth should +have received a capitalised sum equal to the previous annual grant from +Government. + +And now for just a few clerical tales. + +A man was dying and the priest was with him. + +'Ah, Father Philip,' said the poor fellow, 'I am sure the likes of you +would never be deceiving a poor man and him on his deathbed. Tell me +straight, is my soul all right?' + +'It is, my son, and in a very short time you'll be in the company of the +Blessed Saints.' + +'In that case, Father, I'll tell the devil he may just kiss my toe and +bad luck to him for all the trouble I have had to get out of his +clutches,' and the priest noticed his last sigh was one of complete +satisfaction--no doubt anticipatory. + +Purgatory forms the foundation of many stories. + +A certain very poor widow was paying the priest money for the soul of +her son, who was killed in a faction fight. + +'And it's more masses you must have Mrs. Murphy, for Paddy has only got +his red hair out of purgatory.' + +Later, when she was asked for further contributions:-- + +'It's his mouth which is out now, and he sends his mother on earth +messages to have prayers said to get him to heaven.' + +A third time did Widow Murphy give the priest what she could not in the +least afford. + +Yet again he reported progress. + +'Now you must make a great effort, for his head and shoulders are out of +purgatory.' + +'Then it's devil another penny of mine will go for masses, for if my Pat +has his head and shoulders out, I can safely reckon he'll soon wriggle +himself away entirely, God bless the poor darling.' + +Another purgatory tale, this time concerning Father Batt. + +A fellow-priest came to see him, and over a friendly glass:-- + +'And what's the news?' asked Father Batt. + +'None that I know on earth, but I do hear tell that the floor of +purgatory has given way and all the inhabitants have fallen into hell.' + + +'Oh, the poor Protestants, that will be all crushed by the weight atop +of them,' was Father Batt's rejoinder. + +Few priests in Kerry have been better known or more beloved than he, +almost the last of the old-fashioned school, and he was always warm +friends with his Protestant colleague in Milltown, where he resided. + +Father Batt invariably took a few tumblers of hot whisky punch after +dinner, and having got ill was advised by the doctor to give it up and +take to claret. + +When the bishop met him some time later, he said:-- + +'Well, Father Batt, I am afraid you do not like claret so well as the +whisky.' + +'It's this way, my lord,' he replied. 'I don't object to the taste so +much as I thought I should, but I find it very tedious.' + +It is with some diffidence that I venture upon a convent story. To begin +with, I am a Protestant, and secondly, in relation to one of these +ladies' clubs under sacerdotal patronage I feel like Paul Pry, always +apologetic when putting in an appearance. + +Still, the tale is quite innocent and is absolutely true. + +The convent is in Kerry and up to recently the order had been an +enclosed one. But a papal edict arrived one day, bidding the nuns go out +to teach, and to collect, as well as to relieve, the suffering in their +own homes. + +The Mother Superior was exceedingly wroth. + +'What!' quoth she. 'Does the Holy Father want to be interfering with me +after I have been within these walls for the last eight-and-twenty +years? I am not going to begin tramping the roads at my time of life, +not for the Holy Father himself, no, nor all the Cardinals too. A pretty +state of things indeed. Why, he'll be telling me to ride a bicycle +next!' + +The county of Cork was at one time so notorious for cattle-stealing that +a Roman Catholic bishop went down specially to admonish them. + +When telling one parish priest to be firm with his congregation on the +subject, the bishop observed:-- + +'Nothing is more clearly laid down in the Bible than that if a man has +possession of another man's property he can never enter the kingdom of +heaven.' + +'The Saints preserve us,' exclaimed the priest; 'there'll be plenty of +empty houses there.' + +It is not uncommon for a priest to get a bit of truth by accident or by +cunning from one of his flock. + +The parish priest was congratulating a man who had married three wives +upon getting a bit of money with each, and received this answer:-- + +'Well, your reverence, I did not do badly at all, but between the +weddings and the funerals, your reverence took care it was not all clear +profit.' + +There is plenty of hard barter about the terms of these ceremonies, and +on one occasion at Brosna, when the curate stood out for three pounds as +his fee for performing the marriage service, the would-be bridegroom +held out a thirty shilling note, saying:-- + +'Marry yourself to this, your reverence, and we'll be happy with your +blessing.' + +As the persuasive eloquence of another man could not abate the price +which his priest demanded for a funeral, he blurted out:-- + +'Why, the blessed corpse in purgatory would shiver at the thought of +costing so much to put away, and we but poor folk, with the pig that +contrary we don't know whether the litter will survive.' + +Here is a fish story connected with a member of my own family, Miss +Clarissa Hussey, who was my aunt, and also a pious Roman Catholic. She +used to hospitably entertain her confessor Father Tom, a priest with a +keen appreciation of the good things of the table. Among his +parishioners it was known that he indicated the value he put on the +coming fare by the length of his preliminary grace. + +On a certain Friday in Lent he dined with her, and on a huge dish being +put down in front of his hostess, he expected a fine salmon, and +shutting his eyes proceeded to pronounce a benediction the length of +which greatly gratified my aunt. On the cover being removed, however, +his face fell, and in severe tones he rebuked her:-- + +'Was it for bake, ma'am, that I offered up the full grace?' + +Nor could he be appeased all through the meal. + +That leads me to relate the funeral sermon delivered by a clergyman on a +lady who had died suddenly at her morning meal:-- + +'You all, dear brethren, well know the loss we have sustained in our +departed sister. She was ever alert and kindly, ever bountiful though +without extravagance. To the last she preserved her characteristics. On +the fatal morning of her removal from among us, she rose as usual and +came to the family breakfast-table. With no premonition of what was to +come she took her egg-spoon and cracked her egg, an egg laid by one of +her own hens. In another moment failure of the heart transferred her to +a higher sphere. She began that egg on earth, she finished it in +heaven.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS + + +An Englishman once asked me, if I could suggest any way by which all +Ireland could be made loyal. I inquired if he thought the Irish +constabulary a loyal body. + +'Most decidedly,' said he, without hesitation. + +'Then,' I replied, 'if you will pay every Irishman seventy pounds a year +for doing nothing, but look after other people's affairs--a thing by +nature congenial to him as it is--you'll have the most loyal race on +earth.' + +That Englishman went away thoughtful, but I had shown him the solution +of one Irish problem which may be stated thus:-- + +Why do one half of the sons of farmers in Ireland, who have been or are +members of the Irish constabulary, represent a body of men unequalled +for their respectability, loyalty, and courage, while a large proportion +of the other, at least in the eighties, made up the bulk of the ignoble +army of moonlighters, cattle maimers, and cowardly assassins crouching +behind stone walls to shoot at an unsuspecting victim in the opening? + +The answer is _£ s. d._, not an agreeable one, but truth is not always +composed of sweetstuff. + +The constabulary are recruited from the sons of peasants and farmers. +They are drilled, disciplined, well fed, well clothed, well paid, and +show themselves well conducted. During all the bad times, there was not +a single case of a disaffected man, though every sort of inducement must +have been brought to bear on them. The prevailing characteristic of all +ranks has been the high sense of duty, so that they composed the most +mobile and the most effective corps in Europe. + +As detectives, they have, however, proved quite ineffective, because the +peasant has everywhere been too shrewd for them; 'yet the relative +position of the police to the people, and the intimate connection with +America, marked it out as a force peculiarly adapted to the prevention +and detection of crime committed in Ireland, but often inspired from +America.' So wrote one of the most experienced resident magistrates, Mr. +Clifford Lloyd, afterwards Minister of the Interior in Egypt, and +subsequently Lieutenant Governor of the Mauritius and Consul at +Erzeroum, where he died at the age of forty-seven. + +The constabulary are enlisted without any consideration of creed, but +when Sir Duncan MacGregor was at the head of the force he arranged that +of the five men in every police barrack, two should be Protestant, and +three Roman Catholic, or _vice-versa_. This check has subsequently been +swept away, by no means to the advantage of the service. + +Very recently the Inspector General, and the Assistant Inspector General +retired, and their places were filled by an Englishman and an Irishman, +neither of whom had been in the force, which gave rise to great and +well-founded dissatisfaction. One of the pair is a warm friend of my +own, but that is no reason why I should approve of the appointment. + +While the bulk of the officers are Irish gentlemen, educated in Ireland, +Englishmen are also to be found among them. Officers enter by nomination +after passing an examination designed to show that they are not +'crammed,' but the perversity of the examiners has always thwarted this +excellent intention. That is like the admirable purpose of Cabinet +Ministers, bent on reforming their different departments, but +dexterously 'blocked' by the permanent officials. + +Before the reduction commenced by Mr. Wyndham, the Constabulary numbered +10,679, and cost £1,390,917. In my opinion it will be found necessary in +the future, not only to keep the force up to its full strength, but to +materially increase its number so soon as the Government becomes the +sole landlord in Ireland, especially now that they are going to have +Volunteers in the country. + +The existence of this force merely means that landlords will be shot at +half price; so, for the sake of their own skins, the latter had better +get clear of the country before the recruits have had much musketry +instruction. The badness of the shooting saved many a landlord in the +eighties, and if that is remedied, why they will be popped as easily as +my grandson knocks over rabbits. + +There is a story of an English tourist seeking for information about the +distressful country, he being at Tallaght near Dublin. + +He asked his carman whether there were many Fenians about. + +'A terrible lot, your honour,' replied the fellow. + +'I suppose a thousand?' the tourist suggested, somewhat apprehensively. + +'That is so, and twenty thousand more,' answered the carman without +hesitation. + +'Are they armed?' was the next question. + +'They are that, and finely into the bargain.' + +'And are they prepared to come out?' the tourist being much perturbed, +and thinking it would be his duty to write to the _Times_. + +'Prepared to come out in the morning, your honour.' + +'And why don't they do so?' with English common sense. + +'Begorra, because maybe if they did, the constabulary would put them in +jail.' + +So the constabulary have some value after all, in spite of the sneers of +Home Rule members in the House of Commons. + +Half a dozen Kerry priests screeched with laughter when I told them that +story in the train, having met them on a journey to Farranfore. + +Here is another I also gave them on that occasion. + +A couple of policemen were discussing the state of Ireland once upon a +time. + +Says Dan to Mick:-- + +'Sure we'll niver get peace and quiet in the blessed country until we +fetch Oliver Cromwell up from hell to settle the unruly.' + +Replies Mick to Dan:-- + +'Have done, you fool, isn't he a deal quieter where he is?' + +Judge Keagh thought worse of his fellow countrymen than do other men +with less than his great experience, and although a Roman Catholic, he +had to be escorted by two constables wherever he went. + +He was told that he ought to be guarded by four policemen, because the +two might be attacked. + +But he knew the man that said it wanted to make the protection more +conspicuous, so he replied:-- + +'Sir, I have the most implicit confidence in the invincible cowardice of +my fellow countrymen.' + +That recalls an observation of my own. + +On one occasion, a telegram was sent from the Chief Inspector of +Constabulary in Kerry to the Scotland Yard authorities to say there was +to be an attempt to murder me in London, and in consequence a gentleman +from the department for providing traffic directors in metropolitan +streets called at my house in Elvaston Place, to inquire what police +protection I wanted. + +'None,' said I, 'for if a man shoots me in London he'll be hung, and +every Irish scoundrel is careful of his own neck. It's altogether +another matter in Ireland, where Mr. Gladstone has carefully provided +that he shall be tried by a jury, the majority of which are certain to +be land leaguers.' + +I brought out the same idea on a more important occasion. + +Once, in Mr. Froude's house, Professor Max Müller--who was a great +admirer of Mr. Gladstone--remarked that after all I had not much reason +to complain, because I had had plenty of police protection in Ireland. + +'I should prefer equal laws,' said I. + +'What inequality of law have you to find fault with?' he asked. + +'Well,' I replied, 'if a land leaguer shoots me in Ireland, he will be +tried by a jury of land leaguers. If I shoot one of them, I would +require that I be tried by a jury of landlords, and if that be granted +I'll clear the road for myself of all suspicious characters, and ask for +no more police protection than you require at Oxford.' + +He subsided at that, and Froude laughed at him so heartily, that he had +not another word to say on the subject all day. + +Did you ever hear the rhyme about moonlighting? It runs as follows:-- + + 'The difference betwixt moonlight and moonshine + The people at last understand, + For moonlight's the law of the League + And moonshine is the law of the land.' + +That would have clinched my argument beyond all dispute, but the +expressive poem was not written at that time. + +Reverting to the topics of this chapter, it is needless to observe that +there is a bond of connection between constabulary and dispensary +doctors, for the latter are needed on many occasions to attend to the +wounds of those just arrested. + +The dispensary doctors do not form a satisfactory feature of Irish life, +simply because the farmers elect individuals out of friendship. + +A dispensary doctor had to be appointed at Farranfore, and I was most +anxious to get the best man for the position. So I proposed that the +candidates' papers should all be submitted to Sir Dominic Corragun, a +Roman Catholic physician of high standing in Dublin. + +I could not even get a seconder to my motion, which therefore fell +stillborn, and I wrote to Lord Kenmare that if Gull or Jenner had been +suggested, neither of them would have obtained three votes. + +Virtually the appointment of the dispensary doctor is vested in the +dispensary Committee, which is a local body, usually consisting of one +or more guardians, and four or five specially elected ratepayers. In the +same way are chosen all the local sanitary authorities, who are of +course under the District Council. + +You remember that _Punch_ called the sanitary inspector the insanitary +spectre, but the beneficent climate of Ireland fortunately averts all +the evils his authority would not be able to arrest if it came to really +checking filth. + +I remember the occasion of the election of another dispensary doctor, +when I was curtly told that only a moonlighter could hope to be +appointed. + +My reply was:-- + +'I suppose it is easier for him to poison people when he is drunk than +to shoot landlords when in an inebriated condition.' + +I do know that a dispensary doctor not thirty miles from Killarney was +thrown out of his trap, because he drove the horse through his own front +door, when he was under the intoxicated impression he was entering his +stable yard. + +He broke his leg, and as there was no one to set it, he told his nephew +to get a pail of plaster of Paris, and he himself would tell him how to +manage the operation. + +First they had a glass of whisky to fortify them for the ordeal, and +then another, and after that a third to drink good luck to the broken +leg. + +Finally, when they set about it, the nephew spilt the whole pail of +plaster of Paris over the bed in which his uncle lay, and then fell in a +drunken stupor into the mess. There they both stayed all night until +they were hacked out with a chisel in the morning. + +It is strange that the Irish, who are brimful of shrewd sense, use no +more discretion about appointing schoolmasters than dispensary doctors. + +The petty pedagogues, who are the Baboos of Ireland, are drawn from the +small-farmer class. There is great competition among the incompetent to +get lucrative posts in my native land: they probably appreciate the +Hibernian eccentricity of giving important positions to the men whose +claims in any other country would never obtain a moment's consideration. + +There was a schoolmaster near Castleisland, who died of sparing the rod +but not sparing the potation. His family were anxious his nephew should +be appointed. + +As he was an utter ne'er-do-weel, the parish priest justly considered +him unfit for the situation, and brought from a neighbouring county a +schoolmaster highly recommended by the National Convention. + +They had a quiet way of expressing their feelings in Kerry in those +days, and the moonlighters fired by night through the windows of every +one who sent their children to the nominee of the parish priest. + +The District Inspector thought he had better look into the matter +himself, for it was stated they had always fired high with the sole +purpose of intimidating the occupants of the various cabins. + +However, when this inspecting authority found a bullet-hole in a +window-sill only three feet from the ground, he observed:-- + +'Well, that shot was meant to kill.' + +One farmer standing by remarked:-- + +'It was not right to fire into a house where there were a lot of little +children.' + +'Begorra,' cried another, in a tone of virtuous indignation, 'the +careless fellows might have killed the poor pig!' + +That was sworn before me. + +Here is another incident, also sworn to in my presence. + +I must explain that the first poor rate was in 1848, and half was made +up by local subscription, while the rent was added by the presentment of +the county, and not paid out of the rates. It was in those days a common +practice for dispensary doctors to put down on the list imaginary +subscriptions from friends, so as to draw more from the county. + +A young fellow, whose name had thus been used, fired into a Protestant +doctor's house, and threatened to murder everybody unless he was given +some money. + +He obtained half a crown, with which he bought a pint of whisky and a +mutton pie; but just as he was putting his teeth into the crust of the +latter, he paused in horror. + +'I was near being lost for ever, body and soul,' says he, 'this being +Friday, and me so close on tasting meat.' + +The woman in the place where he bought the provisions proposed to keep +the mutton pie for him until the following day. + +He thanked her civilly, and went away, but had the misfortune to mistake +the police barracks for the rival whisky store, and was promptly +arrested for threatening with intent to do injury. + +The next day he asked to be allowed to eat his pie, which is how the +story came out. + +The dispensaries are often worked with more attention to the pocket of +those on the premises than is compatible with the principles of honesty, +as recognised outside the legal and medical professions. At one +dispensary in Kerry the Local Government Board was horrified at the +consumption of quinine--an expensive medicine. Indeed, so much +disappeared that, if it had not been for the chronic aversion of any +low-born Irishman to outside applications of liquid, it might have been +surmised that the patients were taking quinine baths. The matter was +privately put into the hands of the police, who within a week arrested +the secretary getting out of a back window with a big bottle of quinine, +which he meant to sell. + +That man, for the rest of his life, inveighed against the petty and +mischievous interference with private industry tyrannically waged by +public bodies. + +I should like to claim for Kerry the honour of being the land where the +following hoary chestnut originally was perpetrated, the exact locality +being Castleisland. + +A landlord, who had returned in a fit of absent-mindedness to his +property after a sojourn in England, was condoling with a woman on the +death of her husband, and asked:-- + +'What did he die of?' + +'Wishna, then, did he not die a natural death, your honour, for there +was no doctor attending him?' + +A not dissimilar story is that which concerns a Scotch laird who had +fallen very sick, so a specialist came from Edinburgh to assist the +local murderer in diagnosing the symptoms. + +The canny patient felt sure he would not be told what was the matter, so +he bade his servant conceal himself behind the curtains in the room +where the doctors talked it over, and to repeat to him what they said. + +This is what the faithful retainer brought as tidings of comfort to the +alarmed invalid:-- + +'Weel, sir, the two were very gloomy, one saying one thing and the other +another; but after a while they cheered up and grew quite pleasant when +they had decided that they would know all about it at the post-mortem.' + +That recalls to my mind Sidney Smith's definition of a doctor as an +individual who put drugs of which he knew very little into a body of +which he knew considerably less. + +There is a rare lot of truth in some witticisms. + +For some illogical reason only known to my own brain--perhaps with the +desire of keeping up the fashion for inconsecutive and rambling +observations common to all books of reminiscences--the foregoing stories +suggest to my mind the excuse made to me by a wary scoundrel for not +paying his rent. + +'I had an illegant little heifer as ever your honour cast an eye over, +and who is a better judge than yourself, God bless you? But the Lord was +pleased to take her to Himself, and it would be flat heresy for me not +to say He is not as good a judge as your honour's self.' + +There was an action brought against a veterinary surgeon for killing a +man's horse. + +Lord Morris knew something of medicine, as he did of most things, and +asked if the dose given would not have killed the devil himself. + +The vet. drew himself up pompously, and said:-- + +'I never had the honour of attending that gentleman.' + +'That's a pity, doctor,' replied Morris, 'for he's alive still.' + +The Government introduced into the House of Lords an additional bill for +the complication and confiscation of landed property in Ireland. + +Lord Morris said it reminded him of the bill a veterinary surgeon sent +in to a friend of his, the last item of which ran:-- + +'To curing your grey mare till she died, 10s. 6d.' + +Never was the Irish question more happily expressed than in his famous +reply to a lady who asked him if he could account for disaffection in +Ireland towards the English. + +'What else can you expect, ma'am, when a quick-witted race is governed +by an intensely stupid one?' + +Lord Morris told many stories, but for a change, here is one told of +him. + +A Belfast tourist was riding past Spiddal, and asked a countryman who +lived there. + +'One Judge Morris, your honour; but he lives the best part of his time +in Dublin.' + +'Oh yes,' says the other, 'that's Lord Chief Justice Morris.' + +'The very dead spit of him, your honour; and I was told he draws a +thousand a year salary.' + +'He has five thousand five hundred a year.' + +'Ah, your honour, it's very hard to make me believe that.' + +'Why don't you believe it?' + +'Because when he's down here he passes my gate five days in the week, +and I never saw the sign of liquor on him.' + +Evidently the bigger salary the bigger profit to the whisky distiller +was the rustic's theory. + +I have forgotten how the story came to my ears, but I told it to Lord +Morris, who much appreciated it. + +Another Kerry story, not unlike one narrated earlier in this chapter, +runs thiswise:-- + +Two men came to order a coffin for a mutual friend called Tim +O'Shaughnessy. + +Said the undertaker:-- + +'I am sorry to hear poor Tim is gone. He had a famous way with him of +drinking whisky. What did he die of?' + +Replied one of the men:-- + +'He is not dead yet at all; but the doctor says he will be before the +morning; and sure he should know, for he knows what he gave him.' + +Sometimes, however, the patient is quite as clever as the doctor. + +A physician in Dublin had a telephone put in his bedroom, and when he +was rung up about half-past one on a freezing wintry night, he told his +wife to answer it. + +She complied, and informed him:-- + +'It is Mr. Shamus O'Brien, and he wants you to come round at once.' + +The physician knew this to be purely an imaginary case of illness, so +not wishing to be disturbed, said to her:-- + +'Tell him the doctor is out, and will not be home till morning.' + +Unfortunately he spoke so near the telephone that his remark was audible +to the patient. So when the wife had duly delivered the message, the +answer came back:-- + +'If the man in your bed is a doctor, send him here.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +IRISH CHARACTERISTICS + + +It's the proudest boast of my life that I am an Irishman, and the +compliment which I have most appreciated in my time was being called +'the poor man's friend,' for I love Paddy dearly though I see his +faults. Yes, perhaps one of the reasons why I love him is because I do +see the faults, for the errors of an Irishman are often almost as good +as the virtues of an Englishman, and are far more diverting into the +bargain. You must not judge Paddy by the same standard as you apply to +John. To begin with, he has not had the advantages, and secondly, +there's an ingrained whimsicality, for which I would not exchange all +the solid imperfections of his neighbour across the Irish Channel. + +You would not judge all Scotland by Glasgow, and so you should not fall +into the error of judging all Ireland by Belfast. Kerry is the jewel of +Ireland, and it is with Kerry that I have fortunately had most to do in +my life. + +Whilst I am alluding to the mistake of generalising, let me point out +how erroneous it is ever, historically, to talk of Ireland as one +country. When Henry II. annexed the whole land by a confiscation more +open but not more criminal than that instigated by Mr. Gladstone, there +were four perfectly separate kingdoms in the island. Now there are four +provinces which are quite distinct, and an Ulster man, or a Munster man, +or a Connaught man, knows far more, as a rule, of England, or even +Scotland, than he does of the other three provinces of his native isle. +For one Ulster man who has been in Munster, three hundred have been to +Liverpool or Greenock, and until lately there was no railway between +Connaught and Munster, so that you had to go nearly up to Dublin to get +from one to the other. + +There is much that is incomprehensible to the Englishman who comes among +us taking notes, and not the least is that no one wants his +cut-and-dried schemes of reforming what we do not wish to reform. As for +conforming to his method and rule by vestry and county council autocracy +in a methodical manner, it is utterly at variance with the national +temperament. Very often, too, the stranger falls a victim to the +Irishman's love of fun, and goes back hopelessly 'spoofed' and quite +unaware what nonsense he is talking when he lays down the law on Ireland +far from that perplexing land. + +'Don't you want three acres and a cow?' asked an enthusiastic tourist +from Birmingham, soon after Mr. Jesse Collins had provided the +music-halls with the catch-phrase. + +'As for the cow I would not be after saying it would not be a comfort, +but what would the pig want with so much land?' was the peasant's reply. + +And that suggests an opportunity to give as my opinion that the most +practical measure England could take to benefit Ireland would be to +drain the large bogs and so improve fuel. In some places the bogs are +likely to be exhausted, but in others there is plenty of turf (turf, O +Saxon, is not the grass on which you play cricket or croquet, but is the +Hibernian for peat). Indeed, there is ample for all the needs of Ireland +for a hundred years to come, but it should not be used in the shamefully +wasteful way so often noticeable. It is no excuse that the heat it +contains is not so great as in coal. + +If coal were to run out in England, to what a premium would turf rise in +Ireland! + +Formerly turf could be picked up free, and even now it is very cheap, +the chief expense to the consumer being the cost of transport from the +bog to the turf rick behind the cabin. + +The mineral rights of Ireland are most deceptive. There are plenty of +indications of minerals, but they are of too poor a nature to warrant +working. + +Personally, I tried working coal-pits near Castleisland for three +months, and silver lead was worked for six months near Tralee by a +company which was more successful in working its own way with the +bankruptcy court. I firmly believe the reputed mineral wealth of Ireland +to be greatly exaggerated, and should never advise any one to invest +money in a syndicate for its discovery. Smelting was largely perpetrated +in olden times in Ireland, which entailed cutting down the oak forests, +that then crossed the country, to obtain fuel, the ore being brought +from England. But the introduction of the coke process in the north of +England settled that industry, which was one of the earliest Irish ones +doomed to extinction. + +An Irish industry which as yet shows no sign of losing its commercial +importance is the blessed institution of matrimony, a holy thing which +in Ireland is particularly beneficial to the pockets of the priest, who +pronounces the blessing, and to the distiller, who sells the whisky, in +which the future of the happy pair is pledged. + +The matrimonial arrangements of Irish farmers in Kerry may sound queer +to an English reader, but are the outcome of an innate, though +unwritten, law that the whole family have a vested interest in the +affair. + +For example, when the family is growing up, the farm is handed over to +the eldest son, who gives the parents a small allowance during their +lives, while the fortune that he gets with his wife goes, not to +himself, but to provide for his younger brothers and sisters. + +Hence, if the eldest son were to marry the Venus de Medici with ten +pounds less dowry than he could get with the ugliest wall-eyed female in +the neighbourhood, he would be considered as an enemy to all his family. + +A tenant of a neighbour of mine actually got married to a woman without +a penny, a thing unparalleled in my experience in Kerry, and his sister +presently came to my wife for some assistance. + +My wife asked her:-- + +'Why does not your brother support you?' + +And she was answered:-- + +'How could he support any one after bringing an empty woman to the +house?' + +There was a tenant of mine, paying about twenty-five pounds a year rent, +who died, and his son came to me to have his name inscribed in the rent +account. + +I asked him what will his father had made. + +He replied that he had left him the farm and its stock. + +'What's to become of your brother and sister?' says I. + +'They are to get whatever I draw,' says he. + +'That means whatever you get with your wife?' + +'That is so.' + +'Well, suppose you marry a girl worth only twenty pounds, what would +happen then?' + +'That would not do at all,' very gravely. + +'Is there no limit put on the worth of your wife?' + +'Oh,' says he, 'I was valued at one hundred and sixty pounds.' + +I found out afterwards he had one hundred and seventy with his wife. + +A tenant on the Callinafercy estate got married, and the mother-in-law +and the daughter-in-law did not agree. So the elder came to complain to +the landlord of the girl's conduct, and after copiously describing +various delinquencies with the assistance of many invocations of the +saints, she wound up with:-- + +'And the worst of all, Mr. Marshall, is that she gives herself all the +airs of a three hundred pound girl and she had but a hundred and fifty.' + +Filial obedience in the matter of marriage is as uniform in these +classes in Kerry as it is conspicuous by its absence in old English +novels and comedies. The sons never kick at the unions, the daughters +are never hauled weeping to the altar, while an elopement or a refusal +to fulfil a matrimonial engagement would arouse the indignation of the +whole country side. + +Decidedly these marriages turn out better than the made-up marriages in +France. I will go further, and seriously affirm my belief that the +marriages in Kerry show a greater average of happiness than any which +can be mentioned. To be sure there is the same dash after heiresses in +Kerry that you see in Mayfair, and the young farmer who is really +well-to-do is as much pursued as the heir to an earldom by matchmaking +mothers in Belgravia. But the subsequent results are much more +harmonious in Kerry, and though the landlord's advice is often asked to +settle financial difficulties in carrying out the matrimonial bargains, +less frequently is he called upon to settle differences between man and +wife. + +'Sure, he's well enough meaning, your honour, with what brains the +Blessed Virgin could spare for him,' is the sort of remark a wife will +make on behalf of her lazy husband. + +Fidelity is the rule; so is reasonable give and take, though each, being +human, likes to receive better than to give. And one thing which +impresses a stranger is the rarity of illegitimate children out of the +towns. This is, of course, partly due to the influence of the priests, +but partly also to the innate purity of the Irish character, as well as +by the standard of respectability:-- + +'Ah, he's a strong man,' you will hear said of So-and-So. + +'How do you prove that?' says I. + +'Why, has he not his farm, and his family with one son a priest, and one +daughter in a convent, and he with a bull for his own cows?' + +Could you want more to get him on the County Council if he has no +conscience and a convivial taste in the matter of whisky? + +There can be no doubt that the Irish take better care of their children +than the parents of similar position in either England or Scotland. +Cases of cruelty, which so constantly disfigure the police courts in +both the latter countries, are very rarely heard in the sister isle. + +It is true that in many cases they cannot do much for their offspring, +but what little they are able to do is done with a good will and +ungrudgingly. + +I remember a Saharan explorer telling me that in the desert he came +across some tribe, stark naked, utterly poor, but all on apparently +affectionate terms. He was much impressed with the love shown by the +children of all ages for their parents, and inquired what the latter did +to inspire such enviable emotion. + +'We give them a handful of dates, when there are any.' + +It was apparently their sole form of sustenance. + +The Irishman is very good to his wife, although the courting is a matter +of business, as I have shown. Wife-beating and even more ignoble forms +of marital cruelty are almost unknown. + +This is surely a big national asset. + +Furthermore, the Irish are a very moral people; and this in spite of the +close proximity and confinement necessitated by the crowded condition of +many cabins. + +I was going to add that the light food may have something to say to +this, but as the Irish are not remarkable for their small families, this +would be an unwarrantable aspersion. + +Of course in the big towns there are women of no importance, and Dublin +has always borne rather a lively reputation in this respect, though that +in no way affects the general high standard of morality. + +The climate of the country, despite the moisture, is one conducive to +good health, owing to the absence of any extreme vicissitudes. + +It may be asked why, considering the overcrowding and insanitary +conditions of living in the miserable cabins, there is not more disease, +and my reply is that the peat which is burnt is so healthy as to act as +a disinfectant. + +Indigestion, like lunacy, is, however, largely on the increase. + +Nearly any old woman--or old man for the matter of that--as well as a +sad majority of younger people, will tell you:-- + +'I have a pain in the stomach,' with the accent on the second syllable +of the locality. + +This is due to excessive consumption of tea. + +Nearly twenty times as much tea must be drunk now in Kerry as in the +early sixties, and so far as I can recollect tea was unknown, not only +in the cabins but among the farmers until after the famine. + +Fairly good tea is obtained, for the Irish will never buy tea unless +they are asked a high price, and for that price they usually, owing to +competition, obtain an article not too perniciously adulterated. + +What is highly injurious is the method of making the tea. + +A lot is thrown into the pot on the fire in the cabin in the morning, +and there it stands simmering all day long, that those who want it may +help themselves. + +This is in sharp contrast to the method employed by Dr. Barter, the +famous hydropathic physician at Cork, one of the cleverest men I ever +met and one of the very few who never permitted medicine under any +circumstances, relying on water, packing, and Turkish baths, with strict +attention to diet. + +He used to make tea by putting half a teaspoonful into a wire strainer +which he held over his cup, and pouring boiling water upon the leaves, +the contents of his cup became a pale yellow, to which he added a little +milk and instantly drank it off, the whole process lasting but a few +seconds. I remember he equally disapproved of the Russian method of +drinking tea in a glass with lemon, of the fashionable way of letting +the water 'stand off the boil' upon the leaves in a teapot, and of the +Hibernian stewing arrangement alluded to above. + +Personally I regard all hydros as so many emporiums of disease, an +opinion in which I am singular, but that does not convince me I am +wrong. + +A bailiff once went to St. Ann's Hydro to serve a writ, and he told me +afterwards that he served it on his victim in a Turkish bath, +remarking:-- + +'And your heart would have melted within your honour in pity for the +poor creature not having a pocket to put the document in.' + +Which observation recalls to my mind the story of a gentleman in a +Turkish bath asking a friend to dinner, and saying:-- + +'Don't mind dressing; come just as you are.' + +Another misunderstood answer was that of the absent-minded man who +entered a hansom and began to read a paper. + +'Where to?' at last cabby asked laconically. + +'Drive to the usual place.' + +'I'm afraid I have too much on the slate there, sir, unless you pay my +footing.' + +'Oh, go to hell,' retorted the other in a rage. + +'It's outside the radius, sir, and it will be a steep pull for my old +horse after we've dropped you.' + +The light-heartedness of the Celt is another feature which strikes the +least observant stranger. + +An Irishman has been described as a man who confided his soul to the +priest, and his body to the British Government, whilst he holds himself +devoid of any vestige of responsibility for the care of either. + +Here is another tale, illustrative of his contentment. + +A philosopher, in search of happiness, was told by a wise man that if he +got the shirt of a perfectly happy man and put it on, he would himself +become happy. + +The philosopher wandered over the world, but could find no man whose +happiness had not some flaw, until he fell in with an Irishman; with +whom he promptly began to bargain for his shirt, only to find he had not +one to his back. + +From philosophy to the deuce is not a big stride, according to the view +of those folk who jibe at political economy and all the abstract of +virtues and governments. So, on the tail of their fancy, I am reminded +of another story about the devil--a very large number of Irish stories +are connected with him, because in a very special sense he is the +unauthorised patron saint of the sinners of the country, and he has had +far too much to say to its government into the bargain. + +An Englishman, in the witless way in which Saxons do address Irishmen, +asked a labourer by the wayside:-- + +'If the devil came by, do you think he would take me or you?' + +The labourer never hesitated, but replied:-- + +'He'd take me, your honour.' + +'Why do you say that?' + +'Oh, he would,' says he, 'because he's sure of your honour at any time.' + +The Irishman is not so black as he may seem to the Saxon, who reads with +disgust the horrors that mar the beauty of the Emerald Isle, and I +should say that his finest trait is patience under adversity. No nation, +for example, could have more calmly endured the terrible sufferings of +the famine, more especially as the high-strung nerves of the Celt render +him physically and mentally the very reverse of a stoic. + +Again, in no other nation are the family ties closer. + +The first thought of those who emigrate to America is to remit money to +the old folk in the cabin at home. So soon as the emigrants have +obtained a reasonable degree of comfort they will send home the passage +money to pay for bringing out younger brothers or sisters to them. + +Did you ever hear the story of the homesick Kerry undergraduate at +Oxford, at his first construe with his tutor, translating _contiguare +omnes_ as 'all of them County Kerry men'? + +It was a true home touch, though not exactly a classical reading of the +passage. + +In the same way, in my boyish days at Dingle, we all of us firmly +believed that King John had asked in what part of Kerry Ireland was. +That question was our local Magna Charta, though what the origin of the +tradition was I have no idea. + +But then things do differ according to the point of view, and ours of +history was not stranger than many others of far more importance. + +As an example of lack of comprehension I would cite the following +incident. + +An English gentleman was shooting grouse in Ireland. He got very few +birds, and said to the keeper:-- + +'Why, these actually cost me a pound apiece.' + +'Begorra, your honour, it's lucky there are not more of them,' was the +unexpected answer. + +This allusion to sport reminds me of the Frenchman's description of +hunting in Ireland, which was to the effect that about thirty horsemen +and sixty dogs chased a wretched little animal ten miles, which resulted +in seven casualties, and when they caught the poor beast not one of them +would eat him. + +The French do not always appreciate our institutions. One of them +landing at Queenstown in the middle of the day asked if there was +anything he could amuse himself with between then and dinner-time. + +'Certainly,' said the waiter; 'which would you like, wine or spirits?' + +By way of amusing the reader, before going any further, I will give him +a chance of reading a genuine, but unique testament in which I figured, +and which is not a bit more queer than many which have been as formally +proved. + + +'I Robert Shanahan in my last will and testament do make my wife +Margaret Shanahan Manager or guardian over my farm and means provided +she remains unmarried if she do not I bequeath to her 2 shillings and +sixpence I leave the farm to my son Thomas Shanahan provided he conducts +himself if not I leave the farm to my son Robert Shanahan I also wish +that there should be a provision made for the rest of the family out of +the farm according as the following Executors which I appoint may think +fit Mr. Hussey Esq. Revd. Brusnan P.P. and James Casey of Gorneybee. +Given under my heand this 7th day of February 1872. + + his + + ROBERT X SHANAHAN. + + mark + +Witnessed by + JOHN O'BRIEN. + JEREMIAH CONNOR.' + + +I have a few tales to tell of Kerry landlords, a race who would have +furnished Lever with a worthy theme, men as humorous as they are brave, +as diverting as they can stand, loyal to the Crown despite much +disparagement, and proud to be Irishmen, though so unappreciated by the +paid agitators and their weak tools. + +However, as I wish to be on good terms with all my neighbours in this +world, and with the ghosts of the departed ones when I meet them in the +next, I am not going to give many names or rub up susceptibilities. + +Of Kerry landlords, Lord Kenmare naturally suggests himself to be first +mentioned. He has been somewhat unjustly attacked more than once about +the condition of Killarney as though the town was his private property. +As a matter of fact, he is utterly powerless there, as it was all leased +away for five hundred years by his grandfather. About the town the +following may be worth telling:-- + +A very neat plan was drawn up for improving it, which included a gateway +between every double block of houses to lead down to the stables and +garden, but as it was not thought necessary to put a subletting clause +into the lease, the actual consequence was that all these passages were +converted into filthy lanes. Outside the town Lord Kenmare has built +some nice cottages, but within its confines he could effect nothing. + +To show you how short-lived is Irish gratitude, ponder over this:-- + +When Mr. Daniel O'Connell, son of the great Dan, stood for West Kerry as +a Unionist, he was warned by the police officer that he could not be +answerable for his life if he came into Cahirciveen, for he had only +twenty constables to protect him; and his wife--a most charming +woman--when driving through the town was surrounded by an insulting mob, +members of which actually spat in her face. + +That reminds me of a similar experience which befell the wife of Mr. +Cavanagh, the man without arms and legs, who, until denounced by the +Land League, was exceptionally popular. + +Mrs. Cavanagh was walking along the road in Carlow carrying broth and +wine to a poor sick woman, when she found herself the target for a +number of stones and had to run for her life amid a shower of missiles. + + +Despite his exceptional infirmities Mr. Cavanagh could do almost +anything. He used to ride most pluckily to hounds, strapped on to his +saddle. On one occasion the saddle turned under him, and the horse +trotted back to the stable-yard, with his master hanging under him, his +hair sweeping the ground, bleeding profusely; he merely cursed the groom +with emphatic volubility, had himself more safely readjusted, and then +rode out once more. + +He always wore pink when hunting. One day a pretty child of ten years +old was out with her groom, who followed the scent so ardently, that he +forgot all about his charge, who was left behind, and finding herself +lost in a wood, began to cry. + +Suddenly there swooped out on a very big horse, the armless and legless +figure of Cavanagh in his flaming coat, and seeing her predicament, he +seized her rein somehow--she never seems quite clear how--saying:-- + +'Don't be frightened, little girl, for I know who you are, and will take +care of you.' + +He was as good as his word, but the high-strung, sensitive child, so +soon as she was in her mother's embrace, went from one fit of hysterics +to another, crying:-- + +'Oh, mummy, I've seen the devil, I've seen the devil.' + +In after years they became great friends, and he often dined with her +after she married and settled in London. + +Reverting to Lord Kenmare, the following story, which in another version +recently won a railway story competition in some newspaper, really +pertains to his son Lord Castlerosse. + +On a line in Kerry there is a sharp curve overhanging the sea. An old +woman in a great state of nervous agitation was bundled at the last +moment into a first-class compartment. + +Lord Castlerosse, the only passenger in the compartment, by way of +relieving her obvious agitation, tried to calm her by telling her she +could change at the next station. + +'Is it me that can be aisy,' she replied, 'when it's my Pat is driving +the engine, and him having a dhrop taken, and saying he'll take us a +shpin round the Head?' + +After all, to my mind, for sheer humour of a quiet sort, nothing beats +the observation of the late Sir John Godfrey, who never got up before +one in the day, and invariably breakfasted when his family were having +lunch. Being asked one day to account for this rather inconvenient +habit, he replied:-- + +'The fact is, I sleep very slow.' + +I commend this to every sluggard who wants an excuse to resume his +slumbers when awakened too soon. + +There was a gentleman who had rather a red nose, and some one remarked +that it was an expensive piece of painting, to which some one else +significantly added, that it was not a water-colour. + +'No,' said Sir John, 'it was done in distemper.' + +One night a landlord in Kerry, who shall be nameless, though he has +passed over to the great majority, went to bed without having much +knowledge how he got there. + +Two of his sons crept to the neighbouring town, unscrewed the sign +outside the inn, and put it at the end of their parent's bed. + +When he awoke, he looked at the sign for some time in a bewildered way. +Then he observed aloud:-- + +'I thought I went to sleep in my own bed, but I'm d----d if I have not +woke in the middle of the street.' + +A certain roystering gentleman named Jack Ray got drunk and fell asleep +in the woods of Kilcoleman. Some of the Godfrey boys, seeing him +prostrate and with foam on his lips, ran to summon their father, saying +to him:-- + +'There's a man dead in the wood.' + +Sir William hastened to the spot, and having put on his glasses to get a +view of the corpse, observed:-- + +'Come away, my boys, this man dies once a week.' + +Another Kerry landlord, who was also a baronet, dealt with the National +Bank, the local manager of which was an arrant snob, who loved a title, +and bored everybody with his pretended intimacy with the impecunious +baronet. But at last even his patience was exhausted, and he sent the +squire a pretty stiff letter about the arrears due. + +The other received the letter at breakfast, and showed it to his son +just come down from a University, who whistled and ejaculated:-- + +'O tempora! O mores!' + +His father instantly retorted:-- + +'You get me the temporary, and I'll promptly see we have more ease.' + +In the bad times, an old woman came into the office at Tralee to pay her +rent. Mr. Francis Denny was in a real bad humour with somebody else who +had defaulted, and he was raging along in a manner qualified to display +his intimate acquaintance with the florid embellishments of the +language. The old woman listened with evident admiration for some time. +At last she ejaculated:-- + +'Ah, the nate little man.' + +And with that slipped out, without settling her account. + +Mr. Francis Denny has the misfortune to be rather lame, and one day +another old woman, who liked him, observed:-- + +'If he had two sound legs under him, there'd be no holding him in +Tralee, but he'd be up at the Castle setting the Lord Lieutenant right +in his many errors, not to mention going over to London to give the +Queen herself a bit of his mind.' + +In the bad times, one lady was left in her Kerry residence with her baby +boy and a pack of maidservants, her husband having been called over to +England. + +She had sixty pounds of gold in her bedroom, and one night a housemaid +rushed in to say a party of moonlighters were in the house. + +The lady threw a sovereign and some silver on to the dressing-table, and +hid the rest under her mattress. + +In came the masked scoundrels asking for gold, and when she pointed to +the money that was visible, one replied that it was not enough. + +'Very well,' she said, 'give me your name and I'll write you a cheque.' + +On that they left precipitately, to her intense relief. + +All moonlighters calculated upon the terrorism their appearance would +cause, and if this was apparently conspicuous by its absence they were +nonplussed, because they never felt over secure in their own hearts at +the best of times, and grew frightened directly others were not +frightened by them. + +In all moonlighting affrays no one scoundrel ever became personally +conspicuous as a leader, and all the wisest leaders, such as Stephens, +Tynan, and Parnell, shrouded their movements in mystery. Fenianism in +Ireland since Emmett has never had one capable leader possessing the +physical courage to show himself in the forefront on all occasions. + +On the other hand, it is a singular fact that nearly every general of +note in the army of the United Kingdom, since the time of Marlborough, +has come from Ireland. The Duke of Wellington was born in County Meath, +Lord Gough in Tipperary, Lord Wolseley in County Carlow, Lord Roberts in +Waterford, Sir George White in Antrim, General French in Roscommon, and +Lord Kitchener in Kerry. + +The attempts of the English Government to manufacture an English general +in the South African war were a miserable fiasco. They only produced +one, Sir Charles Tucker, and he did his best to atone for the accident +of his English birth by marrying a Kerry lady. + +I had the pleasure of meeting Sir Redvers Buller in Killarney, and after +he had been there a couple of days he proceeded to describe Kerry to me, +who had been managing one fifth of it for several years. His +agricultural reforms would have been as drastic as they were ludicrous +had any one attempted to carry them out, but when expatiating on them to +me, he was not even aware that there was any difference between an +English and an Irish acre. When I heard that he was taking charge of the +whole army in South Africa, I mentioned that as he had been unable to +command three hundred constabulary in Kerry, I was sceptical of his +ability to manage the British army. He was without exception the most +self-sufficient soldier I ever met, and his subsequent career has not +made me change my view. + +Here is a soldier story which is mighty illustrative of Irish traits. + +A peasant's son in Limerick enlisted in the militia for a month's +training, for which he received a bounty of three pounds. With part of +this money he bought a pig and gave it to his father to feed up. When +the pig was fattened, the father sold it and declined to give him the +price. So the son was seen by the police to take his father by the +throat, saying:-- + +'Bad luck to you, old reprobate, do you want to deprive me of my pig +that I risked my life for in the British Army?' + +Everywhere I like to slip into this book instances of the injuries +suffered by Irish landlords, so here is another case _à propos des +bottes_, if you will forgive it. + +The Knight of Kerry let nine acres of land to a tenant for a rent of +forty-five pounds. Having expended a large sum of money in roadmaking +and fences, at the tenant's request, he also borrowed thirty-five pounds +to build a small house for which he has to pay thirty-five shillings per +annum. The commissioners cut down the rent so heavily, that it has +resulted in the landlord having to pay five shillings a year for the +pleasure of looking at the man in occupation of his land. + +Reverting to my reminiscences--or rather to what are for myself less +interesting portions, for I am a land agent by profession and an +anecdotist only by habit--I remember that an Englishman subsequently a +Pasha commanded the coastguard at Dingle in 1856, and then had an +encounter with a local Justice of the Peace in which he came off second +best. + +Captain ---- occupied the Grove demesne. The J.P., who had been a Scotch +militia officer, had been in the habit of shooting crows over the +demesne, and continued to enjoy the sport, to which the Captain strongly +objected. After an angry correspondence the J.P. sent a challenge, which +the other did not seem to stomach, for he sent an apology by a +subordinate with full permission to continue the immolation of the +birds. If a cruiser had to capitulate to this bold blockade runner, the +Captain himself had to endure a similar humiliation at the hands of an +indignant Kerry man, though he was very popular in Dingle. + +There is nothing pusillanimous about the Irishman, except when in cold +blood he was expected to attack an agent, or landlord, or policeman, +armed to the teeth. In such cases, he remembered that his parents, by +the blessing of the Holy Virgin, had endowed him with two legs, and only +one skin, which latter must therefore be saved by the discretionary +employment of the former. + +In other cases he is very brave, especially in verbal encounters. +Fighting is in his blood. That is what makes the Irish soldier the best +in the world, and that was why he used to revel in the faction fights. +As a paternal Government now prevents the breaking of heads, at all +events on a wholesale scale, the pugnacious instincts of the nation have +to be gratified by litigation, and certainly there never was such a +litigious race in history as the contemporary Ireland. + +I know of a case on the Callinafercy estate, where a widow spent fifty +pounds 'in getting the law of' a neighbour whose donkey had browsed on +her side of a hedge. She took the case to the assizes, and when the +judge heard Mr. Leeson Marshall was her landlord, he said:-- + +'Let him decide it. He's a barrister himself, and can judge far better +than I could on such a subject.' + +To this there are literally hundreds of parallels every year. Readers of +_La Terre_ will remember how much of the funds went into the hands of +the lawyer who thrived on the animosities of the family, and that sort +of thing is constantly reduplicated in Kerry. + +'I'd sell my last cow to appeal on a point of law,' I once heard a +Killorgin farmer say; and that is typical of all the lower classes in +the South and West. + +As for the solicitors, I am not going to say a word about them, good or +bad: there are men no doubt worthy of either epithet in a profession +that preys on the troubles of other folk. But I will tell one very brief +story on the topic. + +Outside the Four Courts, a poor woman stopped Daniel O'Connell, +saying:-- + +'If you please, your honour, will you direct me to an honest attorney?' + +The Liberator pushed back his wig and scratched his head. + +'Well now, you beat me entirely, ma'am,' was his answer. + +He had more experience than me, being one. + +Talking of the Four Courts reminds me of Chief Baron Guillamore, who had +as much wit as will provoke 'laughter in court,' and a trifle over that +infinitesimal quantity as well. + +A new Act of Parliament had been passed to prevent people from stealing +timber. A stupid juryman asked if he could prosecute a man under that +act for stealing turnips. + +'Certainly not, unless they are very sticky,' retorted the judge. + +His brother was a magistrate, and committed a barrister in petty +sessions for contempt of court. An action was brought against him, but +the Chief Baron raised so many legal exceptions, that it had finally to +be abandoned through the fraternal law-moulding. This action was pending +in the civil court, when a lawyer was very impertinent to the Chief +Baron in the criminal. Instead of committing him, the Chief Baron said +very quietly:-- + +'If you do not keep quiet, I shall send to the next Court for my +brother.' + +Another judge had applied for shares in a company of which a friend of +his was secretary. Meeting him in Sackville Street, he stopped him to +inquire what would be the paid-up capital of the concern. + +The other forgot whom he was addressing, and blurted out the truth by +replying:-- + +'Well, I really cannot tell you just yet, but the cheques are coming in +fast.' + +The judge withdrew his application by the next post, and confidently +expected to see his friend in the dock. I believe in less than six +months he was not disappointed. + +The poorer class in Ireland do not appear to be business-like in the +ordinary sense, however much they may develop commercial instincts after +emigrating. It is to promote the latent capacity obviously within their +power that creameries and other assisted promotions have been started in +various parts of the country, sometimes with great success. Sir Horace +Plunkett and others have dealt with all this in the most serious spirit. +I prefer to allude to it, and add one anecdote. + +A lady asked a respectable old woman how her son was getting on as +manager of the creamery, and the reply came after the following +fashion:-- + +'Whisna the poor man and all the trouble he has, and him never able to +make the butter and the books scoromund,' which, being translated, is +'correspond.' + +Another example I can cite of the difficulty in getting people to put +their intelligence to practical use in the south is to this effect:-- + +There was a certain widdy woman in a neighbouring parish who was making +great lamentation over her 'pitaties' to the priest, and in consequence +he lent her a machine for the purpose of spraying them. She professed +the profoundest gratitude as well as interest in the implement, but the +task speedily became too big an effort, for she subsequently informed me +that she had sprayed 'half the field to plase his Rivirence, but left +the rest to God.' + +And that is the kind of negative piety which is distinctly a +characteristic Irish trait. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES + + +Any Irishman who has reached the shady side of threescore years and ten +must remember many Lord-Lieutenants--the pompously visible symbols of +much vacillating misdirection. + +To analyse them would be the work of an historian, to criticise would be +superfluous. They have been so many Malvolios, all alike anxious to win +the favour of that capricious Lady Olivia Erin, and not one of them has +succeeded, though several have merited better fortune than they met with +on Irish soil. + +The first Lord-Lieutenant I personally met was Lord Carlisle. + +He was a gentleman, but not otherwise remarkable. He had come into the +Government on the resignation of the Peelites, and his popularity in +Ireland was greater than any other holder of the post in the century, +possibly owing to his negative qualities, and also to a charm of manner +more effusive than usual among Englishmen. + +He had a habit of dropping his state, and going about Dublin, if not +like Haroun Alraschid, at least with the independence of men in less +august positions. + +On one occasion, needing some local information, he went to see the Lord +Mayor of Dublin, but finding him out, was given the address of an +alderman who could tell him what he wanted to know. + +The alderman was not in either, but his wife was, and begged him to stop +to lunch, which was just being served. + +Lord Carlisle told her he hardly ever ate lunch, and was not in the +least hungry. + +But under pressure he sat down to the meal, and got on very well with +it, whereat the lady remarked:-- + +'You see, your Excellency, eating is like scratching: when you once +begin it is hard to stop.' + +His predecessor, Lord Clarendon, had been in office when Lord John +Russell, the Prime Minister, urged on the House of Commons a bill for +the abolition of the Lord-Lieutenancy. The great point that he made was +that the Chief Secretary might become a mayor of the viceregal palace, a +thing that has now long been the case, for the Lord-Lieutenant has to be +a plutocrat of high descent, and the Chief Secretary is the virtual +administrator of Ireland--a thing unknown, however, until the advent of +Mr. Foster. The second reading was carried by a majority of over a +hundred and fifty, but it was then dropped. + +The story went that the Duke of Wellington had suggested to Prince +Albert the possible diminution of respect for the Crown in Ireland +without a visible representative, and the Teutonic mind could not endure +such a notion. + +Lord Clarendon upheld the dignity of his position, though he was liked +by neither party in Ireland. He is the only Lord-Lieutenant who ever +administered sharp discipline to the Orangemen--who regard their loyalty +as permitting them a good deal of licence--for he removed the name of +their leader, Lord Roden, from the Commission of the Peace because he +encouraged a turbulent procession at Dolly's Brae. With his pompous +manner he made a very Brummagem monarch, quite indifferent to his +unpopularity. As a matter of fact, some allege that all Lord-Lieutenants +are hated by the disloyal section of the populace, and if they go +through the farce of currying popularity, they can only do so by largely +patronising about a dozen shopkeepers, who eventually curse because yet +more has not been spent. But this is altogether too limited to be true. + + +Lord Kimberley followed Lord Carlisle. In those days he was Lord +Wodehouse, and the Fenians used to issue mock proclamations, in ridicule +of his, signed 'Woodlouse.' He was an experienced parliamentarian--a man +who held office for many years, and worked conscientiously, according to +his lights. + +In Ireland he always appeared to be a naturalist, perplexed at not +understanding the species among which his lot was for the time cast. + +His mother was subsequently married to Mr. Crosbie Moore, and she ran +away with Colonel Fitz-Gibbon, afterwards Lord Clare. + +Mr. Crosbie Moore had not much sense of humour, as the following tale +will show. + +He was presiding at Ballyporeen Petty Sessions, when a village tailor +was summoned for having his pig wandering on the road. + +The fellow pleaded that it was due to great curiosity on the part of the +pig, who saw some constabulary passing by, and rushed out to see what +they were like. + +He made this explanation in such humorous fashion that most of the +magistrates were for letting him off; but Mr. Crosbie Moore said it was +scandalous that they had directed the police to summon people on that +very ground, and they wanted to acquit the culprit because he had made a +joke. + +The rest of the Bench had to acquiesce, and the tailor was fined one +shilling. + +He paid his shilling, and said:-- + +'I have no blame to you at all, gentlemen, except to Mr. Crosbie Moore; +and, indeed, if he reflected, he should have known that no live man +could keep a woman or a pig in the house when she wanted to be off.' + +A subscription raised for him outside the Court realised twenty-three +shillings. + +Tradition goes that when Lord Kimberley, Lord Carlingford, and Lord +Granville were all in Mr. Gladstone's Cabinet, Mr. Chamberlain--then at +the Board of Trade--in a moment of vexation called them 'Gladstone's +grannies,' and if the phrase is not his, it most certainly was apt and +truthful. + +Lord Kimberley was known as 'Pussy' among a gang of disrespectful +subordinates. He really did as little to earn respect as he did to +forfeit it; in fact he was a pre-eminently respectable mediocrity of the +kind that, towards the close of the mid-Victorian period, clung like +barnacles to office, and he was a Whig during the period that Whiggism +was growing obsolete. + +The Duke of Abercorn certainly had no tendencies towards the lavish +extravagance by which a modern Lord-Lieutenant has to pay his footing. A +short time before he was chosen he had claimed the Dukedom of +Chatelherault in France, and was known in consequence among the +malcontents as the 'French Frog.' His wife was the daughter of one Duke +of Bedford, and when another came to stay at the viceregal, it was for a +time called the 'Dukeries.' The A.D.C.'s, who were particularly +good-looking, were at once known as the 'Duckeries.' + +The Duke of Marlborough settled down well to his work. He was frankly +the friend of the landlords, and did his best for them. But he brought +no English politicians in his train; he never thought he could settle +every Irish question after he had smoked a pipe over it; and he was +never inaccessible. + +He came on a visit to Muckross when Sir Ivor Guest had the shooting, and +I dined there to meet him. He visited Killarney on several occasions, +and on each of them I had long talks with him. I always thought him a +painstaking, well-meaning man. + +Lord Cowper was an honest nonentity who left the country in disgust +because he was not backed up by the Government. Several modern +figureheads would be very much surprised at any Government expecting +them to do more than 'understudy Royalty.' But Cowper thought himself a +diplomatist; was fond of authoritatively laying down the law on +continental affairs, as though he had the refusal of the Foreign Office +in his pocket; and felt he ought to have as much support as Palmerston +obtained from the various Cabinets he burdened with European embroglios. + +However, Lord Spencer, on being reappointed for a second term, took up +the thankless task at an especially black moment. He was as brave as a +lion; and if his red beard gained him the nickname of 'Rufus,' the Red +Viceroy was as fearless as though his life were absolutely secure, +instead of depending wholly on the vigilance of those surrounding him. + +We all admired Lord Spencer for his firmness; but this was soon +discovered to be due to the fact that he absolutely followed the sage +advice of Sir Edward Sullivan, the Lord Chancellor, and after the death +of the latter, Lord Spencer's weakness was quite as remarkable as his +previous firmness. + +He was seen on one occasion with his hands pressing his back. + +Said one man:-- + +'I fear his Excellency has lumbago.' + +'Not at all,' replied his friend; 'he is feeling for his backbone.' + +The state of Westmeath was really the worst feature of the period of his +rule, yet Lord Spenser was in the country all the while, and allowed +matters to degenerate with his eyes open. + +He rode hard to hounds, in spite of countless threats, and might have +had a less uncomfortable time had the head of the Constabulary been as +thoroughly capable as his subordinates. + +Lord Carnarvon very nearly ruined the Government by his communications +with Mr. Parnell. He meant well, and struck out a patriotic line of his +own, which failed because it was made in absolute ignorance of the Irish +character. But he never intended to involve his colleagues, although +numbers of people chose to regard him as a Tory Home Ruler. His previous +action in resigning the Secretaryship of the Colonies in Lord Derby's +third administration, owing to a difference of opinion on parliamentary +reform, and his subsequent resignation because he disapproved of Lord +Beaconsfield's Eastern action in 1878, showed him to be a man of marked +and fearless opinions. Lord Salisbury ought to have known that he was +thrusting a brand into the fire when he sent him to be the official +bellows-blower of the Hibernian pot. + +Lord Aberdeen will always be remembered as the husband of his wife. Lady +Aberdeen was a more ardent Home Ruler than even her brother, Lord +Tweedmouth. On one occasion Lord Morris was next her at dinner, and she +said she supposed the majority of people in Ireland were in favour of +Home Rule. + +'Indeed, then, with the exception of yourself and the waiters, there's +not one in the room,' was his answer. + +'Of course, not in the Castle,' she replied with dignity; 'but in your +profession, and when you are on circuit, surely you must meet a good +many?' + +'Occasionally--in the dock,' he drily retorted, after which she +discreetly dropped the subject. + +Lord Aberdeen was most exemplary during his brief tenure of office, and +certainly it was not in his time that the folk christened the royal box +at the theatre the 'loose box,' in allusion to the rather dubious +English guests of the vivacious viceroy. + +Lord Londonderry and Lord Zetland may be both briefly bracketed together +as having done their duty admirably in times less out of joint than +those of their predecessors. Lord Londonderry always drank Irish whisky +himself, and recommended it to his guests as a capital beverage--a thing +which the licensed victuallers did not mind mentioning to Paddy and Mick +when they were having a drop, despite their vaunted contempt of all at +'the Castle.' + +No other Lord-Lieutenant ever had such a mournful experience as Lord +Houghton. Son of Monckton Milnes, the 'cool of the evening,' he needed +his father's temperament to enable him to endure the boycott which Irish +society inflicted on him as the representative of the Home Rule +disruption policy. With no class did he go down, and on a crowded +market-day in Tralee not a hat was raised to him. + +One of his A.D.C.'s was subsequently on the veldt, and when asked if it +was not lonely, he replied:-- + +'Not more than Dublin Castle, when Houghton was the king.' + +On one occasion some people were officially commanded to dine. Not a +carriage was to be seen as they drove up to the Viceregal Lodge, so the +gentleman told his coachman to drive round the Phoenix Park, as they +must be too early. There was still no sign of any gathering as they +again approached the official residence, and when they entered they +found they were the only guests, and the infuriated Lord Houghton, as +well as all his household had been kept waiting twenty minutes by this +hapless pair. + +Another story, which was much enjoyed in Ireland as showing the +pomposity of his Excellency, may be recalled. Whether true it is now +difficult to say, but there is no doubt that the tale was started among +the very house-party who were at Carton at the time. + +The beautiful _châtelaine_, the lovely Duchess of Leinster, was walking +through the fields one Sunday afternoon with Lord Houghton. + +They came to a gate, which he opened, but to her astonishment proceeded +to walk through it first himself. + +The indignant Duchess haughtily remarked:-- + +'The Prince of Wales would not think of passing through a gate before +me.' + +'That may be; but I represent the Queen,' replied Lord Houghton, with +unruffled imperturbability. + +Lord Cadogan and Lord Dudley come so absolutely into contemporary +history that on them nothing can here be said, except that their +munificence has rendered it impossible for any peer of moderate private +means to hold the office. + +In sober truth, however, the administration of Government really rests +with the Chief Secretary in recent times, although it was not so before +the advent of Mr. Foster. Men like Lord Naas, Sir Robert Peel the +younger, and Mr. Chichester Fortescue--afterwards Lord Carlingford--were +mere official cyphers, but after Mr. Gladstone's 1880 ministry this has +never been the case. + +Of Sir Robert Peel it was wittily said that when Chief Secretary he went +through the country on an outside car, which made him take a one-sided +view of the Irish question. + +Lord Morris said to an inquiring Scottish M.P.:-- + +'Did you ever know a Scottish Secretary who was not Scottish, or an +Irish Secretary who was Irish?' + +'No,' said the Scotsman. + +'Well, go home and moralise over that as a possible solution of some +Irish difficulties, for may be, if an Irishman was sent over, by +accident, to be Chief Secretary, the official would not fall into the +mistake of trying to reconcile the irerconcilable.' + +And to my mind Lord Morris had the last word in every sense. + +Mr. W.E. Forster was far too honest to be the tool of Mr. Gladstone's +Hibernian dishonesty. He was perfectly fearless, but, beneath his rugged +exterior, deeply sensitive. He winced under 'buckshot,' and many other +epithets; but abuse and danger alike never prevented him from doing what +he had to do to the best of his ability. His earliest acquaintance with +Ireland had been in the famine, when he was one of the deputation of +succour organised by the Society of Friends, and everybody who has read +Mr. Morley's _Life of Cobden_ will remember the appreciation of their +efforts by the great free-trader. + +Mr. Forster did not think the Irish administration should be all 'a +scuffle and a scramble,' and he inaugurated a reversal of the old +balance between Lord-Lieutenants and Chief Secretaries which has never +been subsequently changed. Indeed, it is often only the latter who has a +seat in the Cabinet. He was the victim of many misapprehensions--the +bulk of them wilful--but one which worried him was a widespread +conviction that he was a slow man. His delivery was slow, his manner +deliberate, and he did not lightly give an opinion. Yet emphatically he +was not a slow man, and as an instance may be stated the fact that he +elaborated his scheme of decentralising the powers of the Irish +Government in a single evening in December 1881. I know he was harassed, +nay, martyrised, beyond endurance, through the evasive volubility of Mr. +Gladstone, which, both by mouth and letter, formed a heavier burden than +all the Irish attacks; but he was a just and conscientious man, and I +never heard of a case where appeal was made to him on which he did not +act as reasonably as was compatible with loyalty to such a Prime +Minister. + +His courage in walking unarmed and without police escort in Tulla and +Athenry was as great as ever was displayed by a knight-errant of old. +The Nationalist papers, no longer able to taunt him with cowardice, took +to declaring him to be a person notorious for ferocious brutality. + +Sir Wemyss Reid said that in the House of Commons his fellow-members had +literally seen his hair whiten during those two years of patriotic +martyrdom in Ireland, and I always feel that the inner life of this +reticent, commanding statesman would have made a wonderful human +document. His capacity, if not his forbearance, has been inherited by +his adopted son, Mr. Arnold Forster, the present Secretary for War, who +acted as his private secretary in the latter years of his life. + +When I read Lord Rosebery's speech advocating a Cabinet of business men, +I instinctively thought of the late Mr. W.E. Forster, and it is his heir +who is the first illustration of the Liberal Peer's theory. Since +Cromwell cleared out the House of Commons, no one has done so much as +Mr. Arnold Forster, for he upset the seats of the mighty in the War +Office three months after he kissed hands. I wonder how he would have +dealt with Parnellism and crime. + +Mr. Forster's predecessor, Mr. James Lowther, was an uncommonly capable +man, and gifted with a fund of humour which prevented him from taking +the Irish too seriously. In 1879 I heard the Irish members in the House +of Commons vituperating him after a manner that subsequently became +unpleasantly familiar, but was then regarded as a gross breach of the +conventions of debate. 'Jim' lay back on the Treasury bench with his hat +over his eyes, and to all appearance sound asleep. Never once did he +show sign of hearing their verbal tornado; but eventually he sprang to +his feet, and with infectious gaiety literally chaffed them to madness. +I have often thought that the long-limbed Tory member for Hertford, who +was then private secretary to his uncle, Lord Salisbury, must have taken +note of the methods of Mr. Lowther in dealing with the Irish party, for +it was absolutely on the same lines that he subsequently developed that +superb flow of sarcasm which made him, Mr. A.J. Balfour, the popular +idol ten years later. + +It has been a practice for many years to appoint a man Chief Secretary +for Ireland in order to see if he is fit for anything else. This plan +turned out well in the case of Mr. A.J. Balfour, for he knew Ireland +better than any other Chief Secretary, and when he came to know it +properly he was removed. + +His brother did as much harm in Ireland as Mr. Arthur Balfour did good. +Indeed, in the whole nineteenth century no other incompetent Chief +Secretary misunderstood Ireland with such complete complacency, and if +it had not been for the supervision which 'A.J.' undoubtedly gave, Mr. +Gerald Balfour would have a still worse record. + +There was a poem, not particularly brilliant, which may be quoted +because it is not widely known:-- + + 'If I had a Balfour who wrong would go, + Do you think I'd tolerate him?--No, no, no! + I'd give him coercion in Kilmainham jail, + And return him to Arthur, who'd laugh at his wail.' + +In fact the impression prevailed that Ireland was then sacrificed to the +nepotism of Lord Salisbury, who had inflicted the least capable of the +House of Cecil on the distressful country. + +When the Duke of York was in Ireland, he stayed with Lord Dunraven, and +Mr. Gerald Balfour as Chief Secretary was one of the house-party, and +the mother of the Knight of Glin was also there. + +A short time before, a chemist from Cork, who had been appointed +sub-confiscator, and desired to secure his own position, had heavily cut +down the Fitzgerald rents. + +Mr. Balfour, by way of making polite conversation, observed to Mrs. +Fitzgerald:-- + +'I believe your son's property has been a long time in the family.' + +'Yes,' she said, 'we got it in the reign of Edward I., and held it until +last year, when the Government sent an apothecary from Cork to rob us of +it.' + +The conversation dropped. + +Mr. Arthur Balfour was very plucky, not only personally, but in his +legislative efforts, and he did wonders for Ireland--the light railways +relieving numbers from starvation, and opening up the country. + +An English journalist went down to the West, and tried to make inquiries +about the popularity of the Chief Secretary. + +He came to the cabin of a man who had been rescued from starvation by +getting Government employment, and had thrived so well that he had +become possessed of a pig. + +This pig, on the appearance of the Englishman, escaped into a +potato-field, and he heard the woman of the house shout to her son:-- + +'Mickey, look sharp and turn out Arthur Balfour before he does any +mischief.' + +The name of the pig showed the gratitude of the family. + +When alluding to Mr. Lowther I omitted to mention that he was always of +opinion that a well-planned scheme of education was the best panacea for +the Irish troubles, and it certainly would have brought up a generation +less keenly sensitive to the exaggerated wrongs of the country to which +both sexes are so frantically attached. During his not very lengthy +tenure of the office of Chief Secretary it was asserted that Sir George +Trevelyan also had some such idea; but whether he went so far as to +draft his plan, and it was consigned to some forgotten pigeon-hole by +Mr. Gladstone, I cannot say. + +When the Duke of Argyll described Sir George Trevelyan as a jelly-fish, +he made a comparison which, from my personal experience, I should call +particularly apt. + +Ireland had very little use for such a flabby politician, and it may be +added, he had very little use for Ireland. + +He was in such a devil of a fright at being forced to succeed poor Lord +Frederick Cavendish that it was some time before the pressure put upon +him sufficed to make him accept office, nor would he be induced to go +over to Dublin Castle at all until he had been given Cabinet rank. As +for the Cabinet, they were so anxious to settle upon a living target for +the Home Rulers to practise upon, and so afraid that through his default +one of themselves might have to undertake the unpleasant office, that +they would have given the prospective victim almost anything he liked, +on the principle of letting the condemned criminal choose what he +prefers for his final meal before that brief interview with the hangman. + + +Directly after the formation of the following Radical Government, I met +an Englishman of considerable political importance in Pall Mall, and he +observed:-- + +'The new Cabinet is quarrelling among themselves.' + +'Who are fighting?' I asked. + +'Chamberlain and Trevelyan,' he replied. + +'What about?' + +'Chamberlain says that he brought the party back into office, and he +wants the Colonial Office; but Gladstone insists on his being content +with the Local Government Board. Trevelyan says that, as he has for +years had experience in naval affairs, he ought to be made First Lord. +But Gladstone, though he cannot prevail on him to be Chief Secretary, +has sent him to the India Office.' + +'And may give him free lodgings in Kilmainham if he is refractory,' I +chimed in. 'And so these two are like pigs with their bristles hurt, +poor things. There's a pity.' + +Some time later, when I heard Messrs. Chamberlain and Trevelyan were so +disgusted with the Home Rule Bill that they were leaving the Government, +says I to myself, 'I wonder if Mr. Gladstone in his own heart thinks if +he had gratified their wishes about office he could have retained them.' + +But as a matter of fact both are patriots far above such demeaning +insinuations. + +Mr. John Morley was a very well-meaning Chief Secretary, but a very +misguided man. + +In a conversation with me, Mr. Morley observed that, owing to the +agitation, he saw no alternative but to make Parnell Chief Secretary. + +I said that would be no use, for if he attempted to do his duty he would +be shot, even more readily than I should. + +Mr. Morley retorted:-- + +'He is the leader of the Irish nation.' + +'I admit it,' I replied, 'and he is the only man you can make terms +with.' + +'How?' says he. + +'You had better ask him,' says I, 'to nominate some foreign potentate to +appoint commissioners who will say to Mr. Parnell, "Let Ireland pay her +share of the national debt and buy out every loyal person who wishes to +leave the country," and then, if Mr. Parnell says, "We are not able to +do that," let them retort, "We will then disfranchise you, for this +humbug has been going on long enough."' + +'That's about it, according to your lights,' replied Mr. Morley. + +Was I not right? + +It is a singular fact that Ulster and Alsace-Lorraine have about the +same acreage--5,322,334 to 3,586,560--and about the same +population--1,581,357 to 1,719,470. The French and Germans are each +willing to spend a hundred millions of money and half a million lives, +the one to recover, the other to retain, the province, and yet Mr. +Gladstone proposed, not only to abandon Ulster, but to put it under the +rule of the people the Ulsterites hate most on earth. + +It is also remarkable that at the time of the Union the population of +Belfast was 35,000, and Dublin 250,000. Now Belfast is 335,000, while +Dublin remains at a quarter of a million. Belfast, in point of customs, +is the third largest city in the British dominions, coming next after +London and Liverpool, whilst it is the finest shipbuilding town in the +world. + +Yet its inhabitants were to be sold as though they were African slaves, +for the sole purpose of getting votes for the Liberal Government. + +I was one day invited by Froude to come to his home to argue out the +Irish question with Mr. Jacob Bright and Mr. John Morley. + +I counted on having Mr. Froude on my side, knowing his strong views, but +as host he would not interfere. However, Miss Cobbe was there, and to my +mind was equal to any of the company. With her on my side, I flatter +myself we were too many for the others; but the worst of all arguments +is that the arguing rarely serves any purpose except to make either +party more obstinate. + +I knew John Bright very well. + +He was far and away the most honest man of all the Liberal party, and he +fully realised the fact that a visible concentration of property and +universal suffrage could not exist together. He was therefore anxious to +enlarge the number of proprietors, but he did not countenance it being +done entirely at the expense of the English Government without the +tenants having to find such a sum of money out of their own pockets as +would give them an interest in paying off the Government charges. + +He was a very broad-minded man, with a simplicity of character which was +admirable. I liked him much, and my one complaint against him was that +he would never accept my invitations to come and pay me a visit in +Kerry. + +I never heard him make a speech, but with his beautiful voice it was a +great treat to hear him read Milton. On one occasion he took me to the +House specially to see Mr. Gladstone, but after nearly an hour he had +reluctantly to tell me that the Prime Minister could not find leisure +for our conversation that day owing to pressure of business, and another +opportunity never came. + +Although I regret not having met Mr. Gladstone, I yet feel glad that I +never shook him by the hand. I may here mention that I never met Mr. +Parnell, though I have seen him in the House. + +From my point of view Mr. John Morley has a dual existence. As man and +as historian he is Jekyl, but as politician he is Hyde. + +There is a well-known story about him, so familiar to some of us that it +is possibly forgotten in England, wherefore I venture to relate it once +more. + +He was on a car, and asked the driver:-- + +'Well, Pat, you'll be having great times when you get Home Rule?' + +'We will, your honour--for a week,' replied the man. + +'Why only a week?' inquired the politician. + +'Driving the quality to the steamers.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION + + +Although the exact measure of my appreciation of the Irish policy of the +most dangerous Englishman of the nineteenth century has already been +clearly indicated by casual remarks in previous chapters, that will not +absolve me from duly setting forth some sketch of the inestimable amount +of evil which resulted from the interest he unfortunately took in my +unhappy land. + +If Napoleon was the scourge of Europe, Mr. Gladstone was the most +malevolent imp of mischief that ever ruined any one country, and I am +heartily grieved that that country should have been mine. + +It is so difficult to get English people to take any interest in Irish +topics that I fully expect this chapter will be skipped by most of my +readers east of Dublin. Yet if any will read these few pages, they will +get as clear a view of the harm one man can do a whole land as by wading +through hundreds of volumes, for I am giving them the concentrated +knowledge I have accumulated by years devoted to profound study of the +subject. + +The course of history may be taken up almost on the morrow of the +famine, for potatoes began to be a scarce crop again in 1850, yet the +country was improving rapidly, and the relations between landlord and +tenant were as cordial as in any part of the world. + +So they continued in absolute amity until what is virtually universal +suffrage was introduced and the ignoramus became the tool of every +political knave. + +Mr. Gladstone stated that he brought in the Irish Church Act to pacify +the country in 1868, when the land was as peaceful as English pastures +on a Sunday evening. He must really have done so to propitiate English +dissenters, for no one in Ireland appeared to want it. + +By this Act a resident gentleman was taken away from every parish in +Ireland, whereby the evils of absentee landlordism were gravely +enhanced. + +Mr. Gladstone called it an act of sublime justice from England to +Ireland. Previously, in virtue of ancient treaties commencing as far +back as the reigns of William and Mary, the English Government was +giving Presbyterians a grant--called Regium Donum--of £70,000 a year, +and by a more recent arrangement was giving Maynooth a grant of £24,000, +but that Whig Government actually paid them off out of the spoils of the +Irish Church, thereby saving the British Exchequer £94,000 a year. + +And if this be an act of justice, then Aristides can be classed among +hypocritical swindlers. + +It must be borne in mind that when William Pitt caused the Act of Union +to be passed in Parliament, the union of the Churches was a fundamental +feature, and this, indeed, was the main inducement held out to +Protestants to promote the Union. + +Surely it cannot be held to be a valid Union when the principal +consideration in it is set aside, to say nothing of increasing the +taxation by two million sterling a year more than was ever contemplated +by the Act. This was clearly borne out by a Royal Commission composed +mostly of Englishmen and presided over by Mr. Childers, an earnest +politician and an ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer. + +The Catholic priests who expected that their Church would be established +were disappointed, while the landlords, who were generally Protestants, +had henceforth to support their clergy and at the same time to pay +tithes to the State. + +As Irish taxation increased 50 per cent, while that of England only +increased 18 per cent., the Irish people did not find Mr. Gladstone's +Act soothing or profitable. + +His next perpetration was the Land Act of 1870, whereby he provided that +no landlord could turn out his tenant without paying him for all his +improvements (even if these had been done without the knowledge or +sanction of the landlord) and giving the tenant a compensation in money +equal to about one-fourth of the fee-simple. + +This Act might have been all right in principle, but it was useless in +practice, and the compensation made to the County Court Judge for +adjudicature came to far more than the amount awarded. + +This is easily accounted for, thus:-- + +You might as well bring in an Act of Parliament to prevent people +cutting off their own noses. + +No sane person does such a thing, and no landlord ever turned out an +improving tenant. + +But the Irish tenants, having almost the sole representation of the +country in their hands, returned a body of representatives pledged to +the confiscation of landed property; and in order to keep his party in +power by securing their votes, Mr. Gladstone brought in the Land Act of +1881. + +I heard him introduce the motion in the House of Commons, and his speech +was a truly marvellous feat of oratory. He was interrupted on all sides +of the House, and in a speech of nearly five hours in length never once +lost the thread of his discourse. + +As far as I could judge, he never even by accident let slip one word of +truth. + +When the Act passed, Mr. Gladstone anticipated that eight +sub-commissioners would do the work. This number very soon ran up to one +hundred sub-commissioners and more than twenty County Court valuers. + +The result is that every tenant has been running down his land and +letting it go out of cultivation, for the tenants know the commissioners +value the ground as they find it, and a premium is thus, of course, put +on neglecting the soil. + +To show the system on which the valuation was done, many cases have been +known of the commissioners arriving to value a property after three +o'clock on a December afternoon. + +It is a positive fact that there are professional experts who obtain +substantial fees for showing tenants the speediest methods of damaging +their own land. + +All the same I cannot help thinking their services are a matter of +supererogation, for a recalcitrant Irish tenant in the South and West +needs instruction in no branch of villainy. + +On one of Lord Kenmare's estates, I executed drainage works costing over +£200. These were dependent upon sluices to keep out the tide at high +water. A few days before the land was to be inspected, the tenants put +bushes in the sluices, let the tide in and flooded the whole land. + +And then a prating, mendacious local schoolmaster began comparing these +villains to the patriotic Dutch who flooded their land rather than +permit it to be conquered by the national foe. + +I could give scores of such instances of wilful destruction of property +for the purpose of obtaining a reduction. + +Here is one. + +A tenant near Blarney, in County Cork, was seen to be ploughing up a +valuable water meadow. + +When asked by a gentleman why he was injuring his land, he replied +without hesitation that he was going to get his rent fixed, and +immediately afterwards he should lay it down again as a water meadow. + +It is scarcely credible how great was the amount of perjury that this +Act brought into the country. + +A tenant on a property to which I was agent, whose rent was £6 a year, +swore he expended £395 on improvements and all that it was worth +afterwards was £4, 10s. He received the implicit credit of the court. + +According to the laws of the Roman Catholic Church perjury in a court of +justice is a reserved sin for which absolution can only be given by a +bishop or by priests specially appointed for that purpose. + +One priest applied to the bishop for plenary powers, and said the bishop +to him:-- + +'Are the people so generally bad in your parish?' + +'It's the fault of the laws, my lord,' replied the priest. + +'What laws?' asked the bishop. + +'Firstly, under the Crimes Act, my poor people have to swear they do not +know the moonlighters that come to the house, or they would be murdered. + +'Secondly, under the Arrears Act, they have to swear they are worth +nothing in the world or they would not get the Government money. + +'Thirdly, under the Land Act, while they have to swear up their own +improvements, they must also swear down the value of the land, or they +will get no reductions. + +'So you see, my lord, the sin lies at the door of those who made the +infamous laws which lead weak sinners into temptation they cannot be +expected to overcome.' + +The bishop said nothing, but he gave the priest all the powers he +desired. + +I myself heard this story from a parish priest who was present, and as I +have several times told it to different people, it may have found its +way into print, though I have no recollection of ever seeing it in black +and white. + +Allusion having just been made to the Arrears Act, it may be here +opportune to point out that this was the next step in Mr. Gladstone's +long sequence of Irish mismanagement. This iniquitous measure provided +that no matter how great the arrears owed by the tenant, by lodging one +year's rent another could be obtained from the Government, and the +landlord was compelled to wipe out the balance. So that if Jack, Tom, +and James were all tenants on town land, should Jack be an honest man he +obtained no redress, whereas if Tom and James were hardened defaulters +they obtained the complete settlement of all their arrears. + +To obtain the grant of a year's rent from Government, the tenant had to +swear as to his assets and also as to the selling value of his farm. + +Here is an illustration which came under my own observation. + +A tenant named Richard Sweeney, whose rent was £48 a year, owed three +years' rent. He paid one year, the Government provided another, and the +landlord had to forgive the third. + +To obtain this result, Sweeney swore that the selling value of his farm +was _nil_, and he received a receipt in full. + +A few weeks later he served me--as agent for the landlord--with notice +that he had sold his interest in the property for £630. + +That is not the end of my story. + +The purchaser was a man named Murphy, and a very few years afterwards, +upon the ground that the rent was too dear, he took the farm for which +he had paid £630 to Sweeney into the Land Courts and got the rent +reduced to £36. + +The absurdity of this system was well brought out before the Fry +Commission, when one high-commissioner and a sub-commissioner both said +that in valuing the land they took into consideration the tenant's +occupation interest. + +The reader will see the way this works out, if he will accept the very +simple hypothetical case of two tenants holding land to the worth of £40 +each, and one of them only paying £20 a year rent. When they both took +their cases into the Land Court, the man paying the lower rent of £20 +would obtain the larger reduction, because he had the greater +occupation. + +These facts will show that a Purchase Bill was an absolute necessity. +Lord Dufferin truly remarked that landlord and tenant were both in the +same bed, and Mr. Gladstone thought to settle their disputes by giving +the tenant a larger share than he had ever had before. But the tenant +considered that as he had obtained that concession by fraud and +violence, if he could only give one effective kick more, he would put +the landlord on the floor for the rest of the term of their national +life. + +When introducing the Land Act of 1870, Mr. Gladstone proved himself if +not an Irish statesman, an admirable prophet, for he denounced in +anticipation exactly what the effect of the Land Act of 1881 would be. + +In 1870, he prospectively criticised such an institution as the Land +Court, which in 1881 he proposed, with its power to give a 'judicial +rent.' + +'But it is suggested we should establish, permanently and positively, a +power in the hands of the State to reduce excessive rents. Now I should +like to hear a careful argument in support of that plan. I wish at all +events to retain at all times a judicial habit of not condemning a thing +utterly until I have heard what is to be said for it; but I own I have +not heard, I do not know, and I cannot conceive, what is to be said for +the prospective power to reduce excessive rents. If I could conceive a +plan more calculated than everything else, first of all, for throwing +into confusion the whole economical arrangements of the country; +secondly, for driving out of the field all solvent and honest men who +might be bidders for farms; thirdly, for carrying widespread +demoralisation throughout the whole mass of the Irish people, I must say +it is this plan.' + +And again:-- + +'We are not ready to accede to a principle of legislation by which the +State shall take into its own hands the valuation of rent throughout +Ireland. I say, "take into its own hands" because it is perfectly +immaterial whether the thing shall be done by a State officer forming +part of the Civil Service, or by an arbitration acting under State +authority, or by any other person invested by the law with power to +determine on what terms as to rent every holding in Ireland shall be +held.' + +This categorical denunciation of the principle which he was then asked, +and which he peremptorily refused to sanction, was not enough for Mr. +Gladstone, for the records of debate show he went farther, but enough +has been cited to show that never was prophecy more fully fulfilled. +Outrage followed outrage with a rapidity unequalled in Europe, and that +in a country which previous to his remedial measures had practically +been unstained by an agrarian outrage for fifty years. + +It would certainly be both remiss of me, and altogether below the +character which I trust I have acquired for honest plain speaking, if I +omitted to give my views upon Mr. Wyndham's Act, for those readers who +regard my book as something more than a storehouse of anecdotes--and +since it is written at all, I maintain it claims to be more than +that--having noticed the freedom with which I have spoken of previous +English legislation for Ireland, may very naturally think I should be +begging the question of the hour, if I did not offer a few observations +on the latest development of the Irish question. + +I must emphatically repeat what I have already asserted:--that the Acts +of Mr. Gladstone rendered a Purchase Bill inevitable, and it fell to Mr. +Wyndham's lot to formulate the scheme which has now become law. + +Mr. Wyndham's Act is a great one for Ireland, because where a tenant +previously paid £100 a year rent, all he will have to pay--even at +twenty-four years' purchase--is £80 a year, and at that rate with the +bonus the landlord obtains twenty-seven years' purchase. But this scale +is a little halcyon in most instances. + +It should prove a boon to the country, and it is the necessary outcome +of the Land Act of 1881, by which rents were cut down by commissioners, +whose means of living depended on the reductions they made. + +And to make this state of things yet more remarkable, there were two +courts established for fixing rates. The one consisted of +sub-commissioners, who were paid by the year, and the other was that of +the County Court judge, who was wholly dependent on a valuer paid by the +day. + +So, whoever cut down the most earned the most. + +A valuer in Limerick was remonstrated with for cutting down local rents +so low, and he replied:-- + +'It is all for the good of trade, for it will bring every tenant into +the Court.' + +And so it actually did, for that Court very shortly afterwards was chock +full of cases. + +My own opinion is that the Wyndham Act would have been far more +beneficial, if the Government had given the tenant a free grant of some +of the purchase money, and insisted on his finding some more of it +himself, whereby would have been created a deeper interest in his land +than is now inspired in his breast by the mere transference of his lease +from his old landlord to the Government. + +I made this remark to an Englishman at the Carlton Club, and he said to +me that, according to his view, England should lend whatever money was +wanted but give no free grant. + +I replied:-- + +'A poor man from Kerry came to my house in London, and asked for the +loan of a pound. I declined to lend him the sovereign, but I did lend +him half a crown, and as he bolted to America the very next day, I think +I had the best of the bargain.' + +My friend accepted the analogy and dropped the subject. + +That was far more tactful on his part than the conduct of the English +Government, for the different Acts of Parliament relating to Ireland +have had the effect of rendering the feelings between landlord and +tenant much worse than they were before. + +And the Act of 1881, which provided that landlord and tenant should have +a lawsuit every fifteen years, brought the feeling up to boiling pitch. + +Now the Government inherits all this hatred by proposing to be the sole +landlord in Ireland. Therefore, England is reaping the whirlwind where +Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind. + +This does not appear to me to be sound statesmanship. An open hatred of +the Government has been instilled into the brain of thousands of Irish +children side by side with a more hypocritical hatred of the landlord. +Now that these two are to be combined in one passion, and that directed +against the receiver of rent, matters do not present a promising +outlook. + +If the Government sell up those tenants who do not pay rent in years to +come, no Irish occupiers of the property will be obtainable. + +If English tenants be imported, the latter had better insist on coats of +mail for themselves, and on life insurance policies in favour of the +nearest relatives they leave behind in England. + +That reminds me of a story. + +Sir Denis Fitzpatrick and his daughter were making a tour of the Kerry +fjords some years ago, and the lady asked a boatman on Caragh Lake, what +would happen to a tenant who took an evicted farm. + +The reply was:-- + +'I don't think he'd do it again, Miss, leastways it's in the next world +alone he'd have the chance of making such a fool of himself.' + +This may be commended to any unsophisticated English who contemplate +Hibernian immigration as a prospective way of cheaply obtaining that +once popular bait of Mr. Jesse Collins, three acres and a cow. + +Here is another aspect of not paying rent to Government, which would +occur to no one unacquainted with Ireland, but is quite +characteristic:-- + +Suppose twenty men were tenants on a townland; one would pay, and the +other nineteen after being evicted would also squat down on his patch. +Unless caretakers at a cost of about three times the rent were put in +under excessive police protection, all the nineteen farms would promptly +become derelict. + +It would have been far better if the Government had given a free grant +of one quarter of the purchase money, had compelled the tenant to +himself find another quarter, and had lent the remaining half for a +comparatively short term, say twenty-five years. + +Then the tenant would have had genuine interest in the redemption of his +own property. + +But, asks the English tourist impressed by the apparent beggarliness of +all he sees, how could the tenant procure a quarter of the money? + +Naturally it would be alleged by the agitators that he could not. All +the same you may confidently contradict any such denial as that. + +It is clear that almost any tenant could get the money, if you bear in +mind that though rents are so reduced, the most unimproving tenant can +get from ten to twenty years' purchase for the good-will of his farm. + +Of course, just now the old order is changing considerably in Ireland, +but the loss of their old landlords is not appreciated by the better +class of tenants, though the good have of course to suffer for the +bad--a thing even better known in my country than elsewhere. I heard an +interesting confirmation of this from a lady of my acquaintance, who +having asked a respectable woman what had become of her son, received +the reply:-- + +'Ah, for sure, he has got a situation with a farmer.' + +'Well, that's a good start in life, is it not?' asked my friend, to +which the woman retorted in melancholy accents:-- + +'That may be, but my family have always been rared (_i.e._ reared) on +the gentry until now,' thereby expressing a feeling very prevalent in +Ireland to-day. + +The Home Rulers allege that these high prices which are paid for the +good-will of land are attributable to two causes:-- + + _(a)_ Excess of competition for land. + _(b)_ Irish returning from America. + +Both these reasons are absurd. + +When the population of Ireland was nearly eight millions, these prices +could not be obtainable, nor anything like them, while to-day the +population is only four millions. Unless the returning emigrants thought +they were obtaining good value for their money, they would hardly +abandon a country--the United States--where they can get land for +nothing. + +The enormous increase in the Irish Savings Banks, as well as the +deposits in other Irish Banks, must be almost entirely derived from the +savings of the farmers. The landlords have been ruined by the Land Act; +labourers have no money to spare; and traders will not leave their money +idle at the small rate of interest credited. + +If the farmers thought they had better means of using the money, they +would withdraw it, and they are without doubt as well aware as I am how +they can do the English Government in the future, for if there is any +roguery unknown to them, it is infinitesimal. + +I cannot say that I think many landlords will leave Ireland in +consequence of the Wyndham Act. The few who will go are those who are +glad to be quit at any price, and to be free to pack out of the country. +But many a landlord will be far more comfortable on his own estate, when +he has rid himself of all his tenants. + +One feature of this curious Act is that the Geraldines have got rid of +the last of their property, and escaped all the forfeitures. + +As for the sporting rights, far too much fuss has been made over them. +Except where there are plantations or good fishing, they are of very +little value one way or the other. The Act will not affect the hunting. +Small Irish farmers like to see the hunt almost as much as the hunting +set themselves like to participate in it. + +Of course, too, the Act ought to be popular in Ireland, because it is +taking so much money out of England. + +A point I wish to emphasise is one about which there has been a great +deal of misconception. + +A considerable amount of capital has been made out of the depreciation +of agricultural produce in Ireland as compared with England. But Ireland +is a stock-producing country and not an agricultural country in the +strict sense, for the cultivation of wheat in Ireland has long since +ceased to exist. The true relation may be seen in the fact that in +England the difficulty of getting store-cattle was a loss to farmers, +whereas it has been a decided gain to farmers in Ireland--though they +are not best pleased when you impress the fact on them. + +Mr. Finlay Dun in _Landlords and Tenants in Ireland in 1881_ cites some +examples which may be apt to-day when we are considering Mr. Wyndham's +Act. + +He writes on page 64:-- + +'Kilcockan parish between Lismore and Youghal was in great part disposed +of in the Landed Estates Court thirty years ago. It was bought, some of +it by occupiers, some of it by shopkeepers and attorneys. Rents have +been raised, and there is not much appearance of prosperity. Newtown, +for several generations the fee-simple property of a family of the name +of Nason, after the famine of 1846, was cut up and sold; the family +residence is in ruin. At Lower Curryglass, a few miles east of Lismore, +a good farm of five hundred acres, belonging to a family who have been +obliged to leave it, bears sad evidence of neglect; the good old +deserted manor-house, the farm buildings, and a dozen cottages in the +village are falling to pieces. Contrary to what might be anticipated, +some of the smaller proprietors in this district have been strenuous +supporters of the Land League, although it is to be hoped that they +repudiate the destruction of the cattle on the land of Mr. Grant, which +were stabbed, and some of them drowned in the river. Mr. Grant had come +under the ban of the League for evicting a dissipated bankrupt tenant, +whose debts to the extent of two hundred pounds he had paid, and who +would have been reinstated, if there had been the remotest prospect of +reformed habits or of getting clear of his difficulties. Such acts +appear to justify the statement, "that Irishmen don't know what they +want, and won't be satisfied until they get it."' + +God knows we have waded knee deep in blood of men, and domestic animals +since that was written, yet to-day are we any nearer the final solution +of the Irish difficulties? In my opinion, certainly not. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +THE STATE OF KERRY + + +It has been stated that it is only within the last forty years that the +bulk of the people of Ireland, long outside the pale of the ballot-box, +have actively entered political life. This is quite true. + +The whole of the Home Rule troubles followed the presentation of +practically universal suffrage to the half-educated and +over-enthusiastic Irish, who are easily led away, apt to believe +mob-orators, and, by inherited instinct, to go against the Government. + +What the effect of universal suffrage in India would be it is not my +business to estimate. Still, the analogy of what the ballot-paper +provided in Ireland, if applied to the teeming population of our +Oriental Empire, suggests a pandemonium to which the horrors of the +Mutiny are but a mere scream of agony. + +The ballot transformed Ireland; or rather, it permitted the worst +passions of the most ignorant to be played upon by interested +adventurers, when the political power of Ireland had passed for ever out +of the hands of the restraining classes. Democracy spelt anarchy, and +the word patriotism was degraded in a way that had no parallel since the +French Revolution. + +The first outward and visible sign was the creation of the Irish Home +Rule party, which constituted itself separate and distinct from the rest +of the House of Commons, the standard of which the new gang was to +debase. Nor did they rest content until it became the scene of faction +fights and organised obstruction in combination with the flagrant +violation of all decencies of language and behaviour. + +Members were returned for Irish constituencies who had been convicts; +others came who richly deserved imprisonment for life. They instigated +murders, and clamoured because the murderers were not regarded as +heroes; or if they were hung, canonised them as martyrs. They attempted +to prostitute the law to their own base standard of political morality. +They assiduously laboured to render life valueless in Ireland and +property worthless, whilst no deed was too cowardly, no atrocity too +barbarous, for them to praise. They alone in modern times warred against +women and children. Animals were the dumb victims of the inhuman +ferocity they in no way tried to check, and they effectively taught the +receptive Irish millions that a British Government could be coerced into +giving what was demanded provided a sufficient number of crimes created +a holocaust large enough to intimidate the weak-kneed at St. Stephen's. + +But Mr. Parnell and the Land League would all have been promptly reduced +to the pitiful unimportance from which they had so noisily emerged if it +had not been for Mr. Gladstone. + +The root of English politics has been party government--'where all are +for a party, and none are for the State,' to reverse Macaulay's famous +line. Now the Irish vote of sixty was a solid asset, capable in many +cases of weighing down one side of the political scale. It was obvious +that the votes would be unscrupulously given, and Mr. Gladstone bid +higher than the Tories. Literally the necessary parliamentary machinery +for the government of the United Kingdom was clogged by the +Nationalists, who brought obstruction to a fine art, and it was Mr. +Gladstone who always gave in when the Irish outcry would have stimulated +an honest man to avail himself of all loyal forces which law and the +common weal provided. + +Long before this the Irish political agitator had set himself to +embitter the relations existing between landlord and tenant. An +Englishman goes into Parliament for various motives; an Irishman for his +living. If he did not outshout his neighbour, if he were not implicitly +obedient to Mr. Parnell, if he did not arouse the worst passions of the +worst people in his constituency, he was promptly dismissed. + +To do them justice, the Irish members gave such an exhibition of +blackguardism as has no parallel on earth, though it earned but the +mildest rebuke from their obsequious ally, Mr. Gladstone. + +In 1869, for example, before this balloting away of all that was +creditable to Ireland, the relations between landlord and tenant were of +the most kindly nature. The leading landlords of Kerry generally +represented the county in Parliament with uniform decency and occasional +brilliance, while larger sums were borrowed and expended by the +landlords under the Land Improvement Act than were spent in the same way +in any other county. I can prove that the principal landowner in +Kerry--Lord Kenmare--expended a greater sum in ten years on his estates +than he received out of them, though I cannot say he ever found out for +himself that it was better to give than to receive. + +For fifty years prior to what Mr. Gladstone was pleased to call his +'remedial legislation,' Kerry was unstained by agrarian crime; all +things went on smoothly, and a number of railways were constructed with +guaranteed capital, half of which was contributed by the landlords, +although they received no benefit from the increased prices of farm +produce caused by railway communication. The Board of Works returns show +that the money borrowed by Kerry landlords under the different Land +Improvement Acts amounted to almost half a million, and yet the +deductions made under the Land Act were greater in Kerry than in other +counties. + +Here is an instance from my own experience. + +I purchased from the Government in 1879 an estate, the rental of which +was £517, 2s. 4d.; it was considered so cheaply let that the majority of +the tenants offered twenty-seven years' purchase for their farms. I +borrowed from the Government and expended on drainage £1120, 14s. 11d. +Then the Commissioners under the Land Act reduced the rental to £495, +10s. 6d., and the Government which sold me the estate continued to +compel me to pay interest on the amount borrowed, although by its own +legislation I was deprived of any advantage resulting from the outlay. + +The rental of Kerry in 1870 was considerably less than it had been forty +years previously, and higher prices were paid for the fee-simple of land +than were offered in any other part of Ireland. But Mr. Gladstone's +'remedial manoeuvres' changed the country and the people. + +Demoralising bribes to the Irish nation frittered away the proceeds of +the plunder of the Irish Church. A notable instance was a million under +the Arrears Act, the principle of which was that no honest tenant who +had paid his rent could derive any benefit from it, but that any +drunkard or squanderer who had not paid his rent might have it paid for +him by the Government on swearing that he was unable to pay. + +Here is an instance that occurred on an estate under my management. + +A tenant, whose yearly rent was £48, had one year's rent paid by +Government and another year's rent given up by his landlord, on his +swearing that the selling value of his farm was _nil_; ten weeks +afterwards he served me with a notice, as required by the statute, that +he had sold the interest of the farm for £670. + +Again, there was a tenant who swore that he had expended £513, 14s. 6d. +in permanent improvements, and that after this expenditure the fair +letting value of the farm was only £17, though the original rent was +£26, 4s. + +How could I blame an ignorant peasantry for making false statements, +when laws were framed by the leaders of public opinion in England which +released the Irish tenants from every moral obligation, and made their +assumed responsibilities and agreements a dead letter; while orators, +living on the wages of patriotism, were allowed to preach sedition and +plunder to an excitable people? The result was that the work of +demoralisation made rapid progress, perjury became a joke, assassination +was merely 'removal,' and men who had been brutally murdered were said +to have met with an accident. + +I have already shown how apt a prophet Mr. Gladstone was in his forecast +in the House of Commons in 1870, and one more quotation adds testimony +to his inspiration--though from what direction it came I will not linger +to inquire:-- + +'Compulsory valuation and fixity of tenure would bring about total +demoralisation and a Saturnalia of crime.' + +Exactly. + +Mr. Laing, formerly M.P. for Orkney, in a magazine article defended the +'Plan of Campaign' as an innocent attempt to defend the weak against the +strong, and as having been adopted only on estates where rents were too +high, in fact, as the result of high rents. As a matter of fact, in +Orkney the rents advanced 194 per cent., and during the same period in +Kerry they dwindled. He also asserted that the Irish tenants' +improvements had been confiscated by the landlords as the tenant +improved. + +Certainly the law did not prevent them increasing the rent; but, +unfortunately for the reasoning of Mr. Laing, and his taking for granted +imaginary 'confiscations,' figures most decidedly prove that the +landlords did not use any such power. The rentals have steadily +decreased while the landlords were borrowing and expending nearly half a +million in my own county. + +This fact is conclusively demonstrated by the Government returns. + +As to the National League--with all its paraphernalia of boycotting, +shooting from behind a hedge, merciless beating, shooting in the legs, +and other similar variations of Irish Home Rule, on which I shall dwell +in a later chapter--being only a protector of the weak tenant against +the hard landlord, I think one fact will prove more forcibly than any +argument the fallacy of such an assertion. + +There were two estates in Kerry let at a much lower rate than any others +in the county--those of Lord Cork and Colonel Oliver. + +Colonel Oliver's agent was the only one fired at in Kerry in 1886, and +Lord Cork's agent was the only one obliged to employ over two hundred +police to protect him in endeavouring to recover in 1887 rent which was +due in 1884. This rent was due on land let at considerably under the +Poor Law valuation, and the rents were only half what was paid in 1860. + +These cases afford a decided proof that the Land or National League +carries on its government irrespective of high or low rents, and the +'Plan of Campaign' is worked according as the local branches of the +League have disciplined or terrorised the inhabitants of a district, the +orders from 'headquarters' depending on the probability of success. + +I should like to retort on Mr. Laing that, while the evidence before the +Land Commissioner proved the rental of Ireland was diminishing, that of +the country where his own property lay increased to an unusual degree. I +do not say the landlords confiscated the tenants' improvements, possibly +they made none. But figures are hard facts, and they prove three +things:-- + +First, that Kerry landlords spent £453,539 on improvements. Secondly, +that the rental of Kerry was lower in 1880 than in 1840. Thirdly, that +the rental of Orkney increased 194 per cent. during that time. + +On the south-west coast of Kerry lie the Blasquets, a group of islands +the property of Lord Cork, one of them inhabited by some twenty-five +families. The old rental was £80, which was regularly paid. This was +reduced by Lord Cork to £40, the Government valuation being £60. Now +this island reared about forty milch cows, besides young cattle and +sheep, and at the period when might meant right in Ireland the +inhabitants, having some surplus stock, took possession of another +island to feed them on. + +This island was let to another man, but he was not able to resist the +tenants any more than the mouse nibbling a piece of cheese is able to +fight a cat. + +For ten years up to 1887 those tenants paid no poor rate. They +successfully resisted the payment of county cess, to the detriment of +their fellow taxpayers, and they only paid one half year's rent out of +six, and that not until they had been served with writs. And these +people, in the year 1886, sent a memorial to the Government to save them +from starvation. + +This is a remarkable case, and proves that poverty and the cry of +starvation are not always the result of rents and taxes, as the Irish +patriots and their English separatist allies so frequently assert. + +I am going to quote a colloquy overheard at a Kerry fair to show how +deeply the teaching of Messrs. Parnell, Gladstone, Dillon, Morley, +Davitt, Biggar, and Company has taken root in the Irish mind. + +Jim from Castleisland meeting Mick from Glenbeigh, asks:-- + +'Well, Mick, an' how are ye getting on?' + +'Illigant, glory be to the Saints.' + +'How's that, Mick? Sure, prices is low.' + +'True for you, Jim, prices is low; but what we _has_ we _has_, for we +pays nobody.' + +And to that I will add another observation. + +Somebody asked me:-- + +'If Ireland were to get Home Rule, what would become of the agitator?' + +I replied:-- + +'He would be called a reformer, unless it paid him better to clamour for +a fresh Union. He'd sell all his patriotism for five shillings, and his +loyalty could be bought by a few glasses of whisky.' + +And that's the whole truth of the matter. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP + + +Davitt called the generation after O'Connell's 'a soulless age of +pitiable cowardice.' + +I should call the generation that was active in the early eighties 'a +cowardly age of pitiless brutality.' + +Times had begun to mend in Ireland from 1850, and had continued to do so +until the ballot made the country a prey to self-seeking political +agitators. + +Mr. Gladstone considered that if you gave a scoundrel a vote it made him +into a philanthropist, whereas events proved it made him an eager +accessory of murder, outrage, and every other crime. + +Yet this happened after Fenianism had practically died out in the early +seventies. + +I myself heard Mr. Gladstone say that landlords had been weighed in the +balance and had not been found wanting, for the bad ones were +exceptional. + +None the less were they and their representatives delivered over to +their natural opponents, who were egged on by the Land League and by its +tacit or active supporters in the House of Commons. + +Emphatically I repeat the assertion that neither Mr. Parnell nor the +Land League would have been formidable without the active help of Mr. +Gladstone. + +Before 1870 Kerry used to be represented by gentlemen of the county. The +present members in 1904 are an attorney's clerk, an assistant +schoolmaster, a Dublin baker, and a fourth of about the same class. + +This was no more foreseen by the landlords when the ballot was +introduced any more than we anticipated the way in which we were to be +plundered. Many considered that the confiscation of the Irish Church, +which had been established since the reign of Elizabeth, was an inroad +into the rights of property very likely to be followed up by further +aggressions, but we never looked for such a wholesale violation as +ensued. + +By the Act of 1870 no tenant could be turned out without being paid a +sum averaging a fourth of the fee-simple in addition to being paid for +his improvements, and there the most observant of us thought the worst +had been reached. + +When the Act of 1881 was passed, I met Lord Spencer, one of the authors +of it, and said to him:-- + +'This Act will have as much effect in settling Ireland as throwing a cup +of dirty water into the Thames would have in creating a flood.' + +My words were soon proved right, for the tenants, having obtained half +the landlord's property by it, thought that by well working their voting +and shooting powers they would get the remainder. + +I have been getting away from my own experiences to give my own +convictions. When you have meditated for twenty years amid the ruins of +what you had been building up all your life long and know that it is due +to Irish outrage and English misrule, there is a temptation to speak +plainly on breaking silence. + +The year 1878 was a wet year and yielded a bad harvest; 1879 was worse. +The prosperity of Ireland depends on its harvest, and starvation is the +opportunity of the lying agitator. + +On July 8, 1880, I gave evidence before the Royal Commission on +Agriculture, being mainly examined by the president, the Duke of +Richmond and Gordon, others on the board being Lord Carlingford, Mr. +Stansfeld, afterwards Lord, Mr. Joseph Cowen, and Mr. Mitchell Henry. + +Here are some of my statements on a then experience of thirty-one +years:-- + +'The expenditure by landlords on farm buildings is as great in Ireland +as in Scotland.' + +'In the exceptional state of things I strongly disapprove of +tenant-right in Ireland, which, as Lord Palmerston said, is landlord +wrong.' + +'Small holdings are a very bad thing in Ireland where they are not mixed +with large holdings.' + +'The distress in Kerry is considerable, but has been considerably +exaggerated.' + +'Every tenant in Ireland has six months to redeem after he is evicted.' + +'I have never known a man leave a farm unless compelled.' + +'I contradict the statement that tenants make improvements which tend to +increase the letting value of the land.' + +'You pay four times as much for spade tillage as for ploughing by +horse.' + +'Bad farming in Ireland is due to want of education and to the enhanced +subdivision of the land. When the farmer gets higher up the social scale +he will have more sense than to make beggars of his children by +subdivision.' + +'Distress has not produced the discontent.' + +'Almost more land has been sold in Kerry than in any county in Ireland.' + +Three months later, in my evidence before the Irish Land Act Commission, +in answer to the Chairman, I stated that in my opinion it was simply +impossible to arbitrate on rent. I had two tenants of my own whose +yearly rent was £20 and whose valuation was £20. One of them in 1880 +sold £135 worth of pigs and butter, and the other man's children were +assisted in charity from my house, though both had equal means of +success. + +I also pointed out that there were then 300,000 occupiers of land in +Ireland, whose holdings were under £8 Poor Law valuation, and these +occupiers when their potatoes failed had nothing but relief works, +starvation, or emigration. To give them their whole rent would not meet +the difficulty. + +I submitted a scheme of purchase, in which Baron Dowse was greatly +interested, and I suggested that all holdings under £4 a year should be +ejected at Petty Sessions, because it was a great hardship for the +tenant of such a holding to have £2, 10s. costs put upon him. + +I ended with:-- + +'There is a case in this county in connection with which there is likely +to be very considerable disturbance. A man had a farm put up for sale +and a Nationalist bought it at a very low figure, on the understanding +that he was to keep it for the man's family; but as soon as he got it he +turned Conservative and kept it.' + + BARON DOWSE--'Turned what?' + + MYSELF--'Conservative.' + + BARON DOWSE--'Rogue, I would say. You would not say that Conservatives + are rogues?' + +Since that was a debatable point on which the Commission had no +jurisdiction to inquire, I returned no answer. + +As the distress was alluded to above, I may lighten the recent +seriousness of my observations by an anecdote on the topic. + +In 1880 the Duchess of Marlborough organised a fund for supplying the +people with meal. The Dublin Mansion House did the same, but their meal +was of a coarser description. + +A Blasquet Islander was asked how he was getting on, and made answer:-- + +'Illigant, glory be to the Saints. We're eating the Duchess, and feeding +two pigs on the Mansion House.' + +This recalls the story of the Englishman who inquired of a Kerry man +which measure of English legislation had proved most beneficial for +Ireland. + +'The Famine (of 1879) was the best, beyond a shadow of doubt,' was the +reply, 'for I fattened and sold ninety fine turkeys on the strength of +it.' + +In 1880 some Kerry men did a very good stroke of business. They sent a +cargo of potatoes from Killorglin to Scotland and brought them back as +imported Champion seed, selling them for six times the original price. + +About this period Mr. Leeson-Marshall, who had been away from Kerry and +coming back found some cottages near Milltown still only half built, +observed:-- + +'Good God, aren't those houses finished yet?' + +'Well, sor,' was the reply, 'the contract's finished but the houses +aren't.' + +And it has been my life-long experience that ninety-five per cent, of +all the penalties in contracts are worthless, as the contractors +themselves are only too well aware. + +Being a land agent, I wish to provide some account from another pen of +my stewardship, for which said stewardship I was falsely called 'the +most rack-renting agent in Ireland.' + +Out of Mr. Finlay Dun's book, from which I have previously quoted, I +condense the following from the chapter he devoted to the estates for +which I was agent. + +He observes that in 1881 my firm had the supervision of eighty-eight +estates, upwards of three thousand farming tenants, and annually +collected rents to the value of a quarter of a million sterling. From +the particulars I furnished him he deduces:-- + +'So recently as the end of November the Lady Day rents had been well +paid up; old arrears had been reduced; on two estates in the Court of +Chancery £6000 had been collected with only a few shillings in default. +Dairy farmers prospering had been particularly well able to pay rents +and other claims. More recent rent collections, unfortunately, were not +so satisfactory. Tenants generally had earned the money, but had not +been allowed to pay it over. + +'Many of the low-rented estates were badly farmed and the tenantry in +low water. On the higher rented, the struggle for existence had brought +out extra industry and energy and led to fair success.' + +The following provided an apt illustration:-- + +'Mr. Gould Adams of Kilmachill had a small estate on the north side of a +hill rented at 20s. an acre; the rents were paid up, the tenants doing +well. On the southern aspect of the same hill, with better land, at the +devoutly desiderated Griffith's valuation, which was 16s. 4d., the +tenants were invariably hard up, some of them two years in arrears. All +tenants had free sale, averaging five years' rent. + +'The larger proprietors, as a rule, were most helpful and liberal to +their tenants. Where improvements were not effected or initiated by the +landlords, they were seldom done at all. There had often been +considerable difficulty in overcoming the prejudice and "the +rest-and-be-thankful" spirit both of landlords and tenants. + +'On Sir George Colthurst's Ballyvourney estate, twenty miles east of +Killarney, under Mr. Hussey's auspices about £30,000 had been expended +in draining, building, and roadmaking. The economic value of many +holdings had been doubled, although the rents had only been increased +five per cent., and subsequently the Commissioners fixed the rents at 25 +per cent. less than they had been fifty years earlier. + +'The extending village of Mill Street had been in great measure +reconstructed by his exertions. + +'The Land League having enforced non-payment of rent, the obligation to +meet other debts was weakened. Although there was more money than usual +in the hands of the farming community, shopkeepers were not so willingly +and promptly paid as formerly. Want of security checked the improved +business which should have set in after a good harvest. The Land League +agitation generally originated with the publicans, small shopkeepers, +and bankrupt farmers, rather than with the actual land occupiers. For +peace and protection, many pay their subscription to the League and +allow their names to be enrolled. The intimidation and 'boycotting,' +which was so widely had recourse to, rendered it dangerous for either +farmers or tradesmen to make a stand against the mob. With Sam Weller it +was regarded expedient to shout with the biggest crowd.' + +Thus wrote a critical visitor keenly surveying the situation in no +prejudiced spirit, having gone on a visit to Ireland to inquire into the +subjects of land tenure and estate management. + +In his next chapter is a tribute to Lord Kenmare, 'a kind and +considerate landlord, united to his people by strong ties of race and +creed, residing for a great part of the year on his estates, ready with +purse and influence to advance the interests of his neighbourhood. On +his mansion and on the town of Killarney, since his accession to the +property in 1871, he has spent £100,000. At his own expense he has +erected a town hall, and improved and beautified Killarney. Within the +last twenty years £10,000 of arrears have been written off. From last +year's rents ten to twenty per cent, was deducted. During the last few +years of distress, £15,000 has been borrowed for draining and other +improvements; regular work has thus been found for the labourer; on such +outlay in many instances no percentage has been charged. Since 1870, +three hundred labourers have been comfortably housed and provided with +gardens or allotments varying from one to three pounds annually.' + +I could not myself so tersely put the situation to-day as by quoting +this contemporary narrative, the facts for which I supplied. + +Once more let me draw upon Mr. Finlay Dun. 'Unmindful of all this +consistent liberality, ungrateful for the great efforts to improve his +poorer neighbours, popular prejudice has been roused against Lord +Kenmare; it has been impossible to collect rents; threatening letters +have been sent to him. Mortified with the apparent fruitlessness of his +humane endeavours he has been compelled to leave Killarney House. + +'His agent, Mr. Hussey, who for twenty years has been earnestly and +intelligently labouring to improve Irish agriculture, to bring more +capital to bear on it, to render it more profitable, and has, besides, +most energetically striven to elevate and house more decently the +labouring population, has also brought down on himself the odium of the +powers that be. For months he has had to travel armed and guarded by a +couple of constables; now he has thought it discreet to leave the +country.' + +This, however, is erroneous. I only took a house for my family in London +for the winter, and was backwards and forwards between Kerry and the +metropolis. + +Against all this let me set another quotation. In _New York Tablet_ for +1880, a letter from Daniel O'Shea, who stated that for a large number of +years he was a resident in Killarney. + +'Among the most prominent tyrants was Lord Kenmare, who has so recently +surpassed himself and his antecedents in despotism. He is a lineal +descendant of the original land thief, Valentine Brown, who was a +special pet of 'the Virgin Queen' Bess, and strange to relate, this +descendant of that Brown is a much-favoured pet of John Brown's Queen. +Let me explain that he lives with the Queen in London where he holds the +position of chamberlain (_sic_) ... At Aghadoe House now resides that +ruthless Sam Hussey. Allow me to give you an outline of this heartless +fellow's antecedents. This Hussey is of English origin and was formerly +a cattle-dealer, and practised usury as far back as 1845. If all Ireland +were to be searched for a similar despot he would not be found. He is a +regular anti-Christ and Orangeman at heart, and, in fact, he acts as +agent for all the bankrupt landlords in Kerry. An English-Irish landlord +is an alien in heart, a despot by instinct, an absentee by inclination; +and all the foul confederacy of landlordism in Kerry is always in direct +opposition to the cause of Ireland.' + +There is a copious mendacity about that effusion which makes me think +the real mission of the writer should have been to become an Irish +Member of Parliament. His powers of misrepresentation would have raised +him to an eminence among obstructionists. + +After all, scurrilous denunciation never affected me. His life by Sir +Wemyss Reid reveals how Mr. W.E. Forster flinched under the vituperation +levelled at his head. But he was not an Irishman, least of all a Kerry +man, and so he never felt the fun of the fray, the grim earnest of the +fight which made me set my teeth and give as good as I received. Indeed, +I'll take my oath no man had the better of me, either in bandying words +or yet in acts, so long as they were open and above-board, but it has +always been the way of sedition and conspiracy to hit below the belt. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +MURDER, OUTRAGE AND CRIME + + +Once launched upon memories of those horrible perpetrations by so-called +Christians, which disgraced alike my native country and all Christendom +(because the criminals nominally worshipped the same God, and professed +reverence to Him), I could enumerate instances until I had filled a +volume. + +You know how the Ghost told Hamlet that he could a tale unfold, whose +lightest word would harrow up his soul. Why, I could tell five score, +and still not have exhausted the roll of crime. + +As my experience is mainly connected with Kerry, it is +characteristically Irish for me to start with an example from County +Cork. The outrage was on the Rathcole estate of Sir George Colthurst. +The rental was £1500, and the landlord had expended £10,000 on +improvements, so that it was not to be wondered that the labourers +should meet to celebrate their employer's marriage. + +Nor to any one knowing Ireland was it surprising that the Land League +should have despatched one of their well-armed bands to fire on them for +so doing. + +This was apparently a challenge to Kerry not to be outdone in barbarity +by Cork, her neighbour and rival. + +Kerry was quite equal to current demands on her inhumanity. + +A labourer of the M'Gillycuddys was visited by another Land League +detachment and had his ear, _à la_ Bulgaria, cut clean off to the bone, +because he worked on a farm from which a tenant had been evicted. + +The next night a small Protestant farmer near Tralee found his best cow +tortured and killed because he had sold milk to the police. + +On the same night a farmer's house was sacked because he had bought some +'boycotted' hay. + +Still on the same night, at Millstreet, another Land League gang +attacked a house, one of the Land League police being killed, and one of +the Crown police wounded. + +In fact, all law save Land League law was for a time at an end in +Munster. + +At one Kerry Assize, a criminal caught by four policemen in the very act +of breaking into a house, was acquitted, and at the Cork Assize the +Crown Prosecutor, after half a dozen acquittals, announced he would not +continue the farce of putting criminals on their trial. + +I mentioned boycotting just now, but I am tempted to pause, because a +new generation that knows not Parnellism, nor the extent of crime in +that unhappy period, may not be aware of the origin of the term. + +Captain Boycott was agent for Lord Erne's Mayo estates, and laid out the +whole of his capital £6000, in improving and stocking his own property. +Because, in the course of his duty, he served some ejectment notices, he +was denounced by the Land League, his farm servants were terrorised into +leaving his employment, and when he imported fifty labourers from the +north of Ireland to save his crops, the Government had to despatch a +small army corps of troops and constabulary to protect them. So great +was the power of the League, that even in Dublin the landlord of a hotel +declined to let him stop more than twenty-four hours in the house, as he +was threatened if he ventured to harbour him. For the protection of his +life and no more, the unfortunate gentleman had to leave the country. + +Baron Dowse said in charging the Grand Jury of the Connaught Western +Assize, that this case had 'excited the wonder and amazement of a great +part of the United Kingdom and the sorrow of a considerable portion of +Ireland.' Very soon the name of Boycott was given to the approved method +of actively sending a man to Coventry, or threatening his life and +property as well as refusing to permit him to be supplied with even the +bare necessities of existence. + +Baron Dowse, a man who had no fear of unmanly criminals, justly styled +this a reign of terror. + +Kerry is divided into six Poor Law Unions, three of them--Kenmare, +Cahirciveen and Dingle--are very poor districts; but there was +practically not an outrage in them. Killarney, Tralee and Listowel are +rich by comparison, Tralee being the richest of the three, and +Castleisland the wealthiest portion of the district. There were nearly +as many outrages there as in the whole of the rest of the country, which +shows that poverty was not the cause. + +I was in and out of Castleisland, but though I had a sheaf of +threatening letters, I never met with any insults or received a threat +to my face. + +Only once did I overhear any hostile mutterings. This was when I was +driving out of Tralee, and my coachman stopped to give a message in the +dusk at a house on the outskirts of the town. + +Suddenly two or three men came up, and one said:-- + +'Now's the time to settle old Hussey.' + +Old Hussey--to use their accurate nomenclature--popped his head out of +the window, and also his right hand which held a most serviceable +revolver and invited them to come on. + +They did not. In fact they scattered with a rapidity which proved they +had not imbibed enough whisky to affect their legs or give them courage. + +This will show that my business--to collect what was due to the +landlords I represented--was not always agreeable work or always easy. +But my duty was to get in rents, and so I got them, whenever I could. + +The tenants did not all pay direct, for many were far too frightened. +Quite a number, even of the Roman Catholics, used to send the money +through the Protestant clergy. + +How they settled this in the confessional I do not know, possibly it was +a trifle they did not consider worth troubling the priest with. + +Three tenants on Lord Kenmare's estate came into my office on one +occasion, and said they would like to pay their rent, but were afraid of +the Land League. + +I treated their fears as arrant nonsense, but told them to come and +argue it out with me in my own room. + +So soon as they could not be seen by any one they paid up. + +Within a few days an armed party went to their houses and shot the three +in their legs. + +One man's life was despaired of for some time, but finally they all +recovered. + +This outrage was a rather late one, because the Land League latterly +decided to shoot objectionable characters only in the legs, because +though a fuss was made at the time, if a man was killed it was soon +forgotten afterwards, whereas a lame man was a lifelong testimony to +their power. + +There is a man hobbling about Castleisland to this day, who was peppered +in this comparatively humanitarian way. I am quite sure he would say +such a comparison had proved odious. + +Judge Barry very truly said that a thatched cabin on a mountain-side was +not much of a place of defence, and if the tenant was supposed to have +paid his rent, he would be told to run out with probably three men +standing at the door to shoot him. That was terrorism as inculcated by +the so-called friends of Ireland. + +Mr. Forster in his plucky speech to the crowd at Tullamore, said:-- + +'I went when I was at Tulla to the workhouse, and there saw a poor +fellow lying in bed, the doctors around him, with a blue light over his +face that made me feel that the doctors were not right, when they told +me he might get over it. I felt sure that he must die, and I see this +morning that he has died. But why did that man die? He was a poor lone +farmer. I believe he had paid his rent--I believe he had committed that +crime. He thought it his duty to pay. Fifteen or sixteen men broke into +his house in the middle of the night, pulled him out of his bed and told +him they would punish him. He himself, lying in his death agony as it +were, told me the story. He said, "My wife went down on her knees and +said, 'Here are five helpless children, will you kill their father?'" +They took him out, they discharged a gun filled with shot into his leg, +so closely that they shattered his leg.' + +Now there were dozens of instances of that kind of thing in Kerry. + +Mr. Parnell started the whole vile crusade, when at Ennis he gave the +advice to shun any man who had bid for a farm from which a tenant had +been evicted. + +'Shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.' + +His words were implicitly obeyed, and outrage followed mere boycotting +till the rapid succession of crimes prevented each one having its full +effect in horrifying civilised Europe. + +A very bad case occurred in Millstreet. + +Jeremiah Haggerty was a large farmer and shopkeeper. There was no +objection to him, except that he declined to join the Land League, for +which his shop was boycotted, which he told me meant the loss of a +thousand a year to him, but the League failed to boycott his farm, +because he was too good an employer. + +He was fired at coming into Millstreet, and the outrage had been so +openly planned, that it was talked of on the preceding evening in every +whisky store. + +On another occasion he was leaving Millstreet station, about a mile from +the town, and when about twenty yards from the station he was fired at +and forty grains of shot lodged in the back of his head, neck, and body. +As it was twilight, a railway porter obligingly held up his lantern to +give the miscreants a better view of their victim. + +He was a man of most honourable and upright character, who had worked +his way up, and he has now regained his popularity. He started as a +clerk in quite a small way, and must now be worth a very large sum of +money. I was instrumental in getting him made a magistrate, and I have +the greatest respect for him. + +I regard this as a decidedly serious example, because of the popularity +of the victim, and also because he had offended no one by word or deed. +Still, there were, of course, many instances which were even more +outrageous. + +A farmer, name of Brown, was shot at Castleisland. Two men were arrested +for the murder, and were twice tried before Cork juries. The first +disagreed, but the second found them guilty. + +A subscription was made up for the families of the two murderers, to +which contributions were made by the leading shopkeepers of several +neighbouring towns. For several years afterwards, Mrs. Brown could not +get a man to dig her potatoes, nor a woman to milk her cows, although +she had tendered no evidence at the trial, and it was clearly proved +that Brown had given no cause of offence. + +But, as a Land Leaguer said to me, it was suspected that he might be in +a position to do so. + +Red Indians, or any other barbarians you can think of, would not have +been guilty of wreaking vengeance on the widow of an innocent murdered +man, nor of endowing the wives of his assassins. + +Here is another murder story. + +A caretaker on an evicted farm on the property of Lord Cork, near +Kanturk, was murdered for taking charge of it. + +The evicted tenant had owed eleven years' rent. + +Lord Cork had agreed to accept one year's rent in full acquittal, and so +good a landlord was he, that the neighbours of the debtor offered to +make up the amount to that sum. + +The tenant firmly declined to pay, because he said another year would +bring him within the statute of limitations. + +So then he had to be evicted. + +Two men were clearly identified as having perpetrated the unprovoked +crime of assassinating the temporary occupant of the property, and were +arrested. + +The Gladstonian Attorney-General, in order to curry popularity, declined +to challenge the jury, when the first man was put on his trial. +Consequently three cousins of the prisoner were impanelled, the jury +disagreed, and the wretch bolted to America that same night. + +The second man, though less guilty, was duly tried before a challenged +jury, and not only sentenced but hanged. + +He was the organiser of outrages for Cork, and his brother held the +similar delectable office for Kerry. A good deal of the impunity with +which crime was committed was due to the change in the jury laws, by +which so low a class of man was summoned into the box, that criminals +began to consider conviction impossible. To my mind it was quite worth +the consideration of the Cabinet of the time, whether trial by jury +ought not to be abolished in Ireland--indeed, even to-day, I can see few +reasons for its retention and many for its abolition. + +Anyhow in the bad times I am now dealing with, to send persons for trial +before a jury was but to advertise the weakness of the law. + +Two men at Tralee were suspected of having paid their rent to me, and in +spite of their assurances that they were quite innocent and had not paid +a farthing for two years, it was necessary for the police to escort them +after nightfall to their homes about four miles away, and to advise them +not to venture into the town for a long while after. + +One of the worst features, however, of all this terrible period was that +helpless girls and women were victims as well as men, I know of a case +where some ruffians entered the house of a family at night, went into +the bedroom of one of the girls, seized her violently, forced her on her +knees, and held her in that position while one of the gang cut off her +hair with shears, and then poured a quantity of hot tar on her head +before entering the bedroom of her sister to do the same. + +A similar fate befell two girls named Murphy merely because they were +suspected of speaking to a policeman. + +A man named Finlay was boycotted and then shot dead, and the neighbours +jeered and laughed at his wife, when in her agony she was wringing her +hands in grief. + +The poor woman went into the street and knelt down crying:-- + +'The curse of God rest upon Father ---- for being the cause of my +husband's murder.' + +The priest had denounced him from the altar on the previous Sunday. + +'Carding' has always been a favourite Irish form of physically +insinuating to a man that he is not exactly popular. It consists of a +wooden board with nails in it being drawn down the naked flesh of a +man's face and body. This foul torture was often heard of, and it has +been whispered that women and even girls have been the victims of this +atrocity. + +The merciful man is proverbially merciful to his beast, and those who +showed mercy to neither man nor woman had none on the dumb animals owned +by their victims. + +A valuable Spanish ass belonging to Mr. M'Cowan of Tralee was saturated +with paraffin, set on fire, and horribly burned. + +A farmer named Lambert found the shoulder of a heifer had been smashed +by some blunt instrument like a hammer. I myself had a couple of cows +killed and salted. + +Indeed cattle outrages became incidents of nightly occurrence. Tenants +in all disturbed counties, besides having their houses burnt, saw their +cattle so horribly mutilated that the poor dumb creatures had to be +killed to put them out of their misery. The Society for the Prevention +of Cruelty to Animals would have no chance of obtaining general support +among the lower classes in Kerry, where beasts belonging to your enemy +are simply regarded as so many goods and chattels, to be as badly +damaged as possible. + +It is a curious thing that the Irish and the Italian are the two most +poetic and most sensitive races of Europe, and also are the two which +exhibit the greatest indifference to the sufferings of dumb animals. + +The distress in Kerry, of course, in the winter of 1879 had been as +great as in the more famous famine, and I have heard the theory advanced +in a London drawing-room that physical suffering renders uneducated +people indifferent to any torture endured by animals. Personally, I +should have thought a fellow feeling made us wondrous kind. + +Reverting to matters with which I had more personal connection, an +interesting episode occurred in June 1881, when The O'Donoghue moved the +adjournment of the House of Commons to force a debate upon the subject +of Lord Kenmare's estate, and I wrote a letter in the _Times_ in reply, +from which may be condensed the following facts:-- + +On the Cork estate, from 1878 to 1881, the evictions did not average one +for each year for every two hundred tenants. + +On the Limerick estate for five years there have been no evictions. + +On the Kerry estate, since he succeeded (in 1871), Lord Kenmare has +expended £67,115 on drainage, road-making, and building cottages. The +evictions have been about one in five hundred in every half year. The +abatements, allowances, and expenditure in 1878, '79, '80, and '81, +exclusive of what was spent on the house and demesne, were, £33,645, and +I am under the mark when I say that, altogether, for these years of +distress, Lord Kenmare spent more on his Kerry estates than he received +out of it; yet for this, Land League meetings were held on his estate, +and he was denounced in Parliament. The week that the Land League +compelled Lord Kenmare to discontinue his employment to labourers, the +weekly labour bill was £460. + +There is no need to trouble readers with any further correspondence on a +topic on which no one could answer me except by abuse, which is no +argument; nor will I inflict any of the letters in which Mr. Sexton was +clearly proved in the wrong when he misrepresented the case of Pat +Murphy of Rath. + +As an example of the state of affairs, in Millstreet--a mere +village--there were thirty cases of nocturnal raid in the month of +August 1881, even while it was engaging the attention of Mr. T.O. +Plunkett, R.M., Mr. French, chief of the detective department, two +sub-inspectors, thirty-five constabulary, and fifty men of the 80th +Regiment. + +In the _Daily Telegraph_, with reference to the murder of Gallivan, near +Castleisland, this remark appeared in a leader:-- + +'Horror-stricken humanity demands that an example be speedily made of +the truculent and merciless ruffian who perpetrated this outrage.' + +I quoted this in a letter the editor published, adding:-- + +'A few weeks after that occasion an old man named Flynn was shot within +two miles of the place, because he paid his rent. His leg has since been +amputated.' + +Then I gave the following horrible case:-- + +On Sunday night the Land League police went to the house of a man named +Dan Dooling, who lived within a mile of Gallivan's house, and within one +mile of Castleisland, and because he paid his rent on getting a +reduction of thirty per cent., he was taken out and shot in the thigh. +His wife, who was only three days after her confinement, pleaded for +mercy on this account, but these lynch law authorities were deaf to the +appeal for mercy, and she did not recover the shock of the entry of +these 'moonlight' Thugs. This man could have identified his assailants, +but he did not dare. + +A good fellow called M'Auliffe, whose arm was shot off, could have done +the same. The poor chap could be seen walking about with one arm, +deprived of the means of earning his bread, and no doubt moralising over +the state of the law, which would compensate him for the loss of his +cow, if he had one, but gave him nothing for the loss of his arm. + +On Friday, November 18, 1881, two tenants, named Cronin and one O'Keefe, +holding land from Lord Kenmare, came into my office in Killarney. + +O'Keefe, an old man of seventy, was the spokesman, and said:-- + +'If you plase, sorr, we have the rint in our pocket, and would be glad +to pay it if it were not for the fear that we have of being shot.' + +To my lasting regret, I replied:-- + +'There is no danger. You must pay.' + +They did, and on the Sunday week following, a band of marauders, headed +by fife and drum, went to the houses of these men, and shot them in the +presence of their families. All the flesh on the lower part of O'Keefe's +legs was shot away, one of the Cronins was shot in the knee, but the +other in the body. + +Everybody in the neighbourhood knew the perpetrators of this ghastly +outrage, but said:-- + +'What use would there be in our telling, as the jury would acquit them, +and we should be shot?' + +Then came this announcement, which caused great excitement in +Killarney:-- + +'In consequence of the difficulty of getting his rents, the Earl of +Kenmare has decided to leave the country for the present. All the +labourers employed on the estate are discharged, as well as some of the +gamekeepers.' + +My own opinion was that he showed great wisdom in abandoning the +ungrateful locality where only man, debased by the Land League, was +vile. + +Outside my own folk, I found the people stiffer and less affable than +formerly; but at no time had I any difficulty in obtaining or keeping +domestic servants, though my wife got the majority from the +neighbourhood of Edenburn. + +I used to sit, on and off, on the bench as regularly as most of the +other magistrates, whenever, indeed, my business permitted me to do so, +and to my face no one ventured to abuse me. + +Quite late in the bad times when I wanted a decree of ejectment against +a fellow, the chairman, desiring to make peace, explained that his +hesitation was entirely on my account, to save me from danger. + +I replied that I had not quailed all those years, and I was too old to +begin; so I had my decree, and that fellow's threats were as +contemptuously treated as all the rest. + +The Bank had a decree against a tenant of mine, and, having sold him +out, entered into possession and put in a caretaker. + +He was in occupation about eight hours, when he grew so frightened that +he ran away. The tenant then went back into possession as a caretaker, +whom nobody dared dislodge, and he promptly went to the Tralee Board of +Guardians to obtain a pound a week as an evicted tenant. + +At that time two-thirds of the poor-rate was paid by the landlord. When +the tenancy was over £4 a year, they had to allow each tenant half the +rate he paid; when it was under this sum, they had to pay the whole of +it, and, of course, all the rates for land in their own occupation. + +Thus the Board of Guardians were utilising the money of the landlords in +order to remunerate the men who were robbing them of their property. + +If a tenant--who generally had some money--was evicted, a notice was +served on the relieving officer to provide him with a conveyance, in +which he was taken to the poorhouse; but if a farmer evicted a +labourer--who had, perhaps, nothing but the suit of clothes in which he +stood up--he was allowed to walk to the poorhouse as best he might, and, +when he got there, he obtained no special relief. + +It is true that the passing of the Habeas Corpus Suspension Act offered +another opportunity to the Government for striking a severe blow, but it +was frittered away, although, before it became law, many of the leaders +of disorder left the country, dreading its provisions. + +Instead, the isolated arrests revealed that the criminals were provided +with special accommodation and superior fare. + +A district officer, asked by Lord Spencer for his views on the Coercion +Act, replied:-- + +'The only coercion I can perceive, your Excellency, is that people +accustomed to live on potatoes and milk are forced to feed on salmon and +wine.' + +The last outrage I intend to mention in this chapter was a very +remarkable one. + +There was a contest for the chairmanship of the Tralee Board of +Guardians. The Land League put forward a candidate who was at the time +an inmate of Kilmainham gaol. The landlords, who at this earlier stage +still had some power, conceived that the residence of the Home Ruler +would not facilitate his control over the Board, and chose a candidate +whose abode was not only more adjacent, but whose movements were +unfettered. + +The voting was even, until Mr. A.E. Herbert came into the room and gave +his casting vote against the involuntary tenant of the Kilmainham +hostelry. For this he was murdered three days later, and by the crime +they hoped to ensure that on the next occasion the landlords would +abstain from voting at all. + +That murder of Mr. Arthur Herbert on his return from Petty Sessions at +Castleisland was one of the worst, and as an exhibition of infernal +hatred and vengeance it transcended the murders of Lord Mountmorres and +Lord Leitrim. It cannot be denied that Mr. Herbert committed acts of a +harsh and overbearing character. He was a turbulent, headstrong man, +brave to rashness and foolhardiness, and too fond of proclaiming his +contempt for the people by whom he was surrounded. As a magistrate, +sitting at Brosna Petty Sessions, he expressed his regret that he was +not in command of a force when a riot occurred in that village, when he +would have 'skivered the people with buckshot,' language brought under +the notice of the Lord Chancellor and the House of Commons. + +He was the son of a clergyman, and lived at Killeentierna House with his +mother, a venerable old lady over eighty, he being himself forty-five. +His income was estimated at about four hundred a year, and as his +relations with tenantry were not harmonious, he never went out without a +six-chambered revolver in his pocket. Physically he was very +robust--over five feet ten in height, and very corpulent. In his own +neighbourhood he always was known as 'Mr. Arthur.' + +Leaving Castleisland about five in the afternoon, he was accompanied for +about a mile by the head constable, who then turned back. Mr. Herbert +had not proceeded a quarter of a mile further when he was felled by the +assassins. The spot chosen was singularly open, no shelter being visible +for some distance. Several shots were heard by a labourer at work in a +quarry, and when he came up he found Mr. Herbert lying on his face in +the road, quite dead, the earth about him being covered with pools of +blood. The body was almost riddled with shot and bullets. + +That night a further illustration of the vindictive ferocity of the +outrage was given. The lawn in front of Killeentierna was patrolled +regularly by some of the large body of police which at once occupied the +house. On this lawn eleven lambs were grazing. At half-past two these +were seen by the police to be all right. At daybreak the eleven were +found stabbed with pitchforks--nine of them killed outright, and two +wounded to death. This act, as wretched as it was daring, added a new +horror to the crime. + +Mr. Herbert's murder was received with such exuberant delight in Kerry +that my steward said to me:-- + +'You would think, sir, that rent was abolished and the duty taken off +whisky.' + +Constabulary had for a long while to be told off to prevent his grave +being desecrated. + +That is a pretty tough outrage for optimistic philanthropists to +consider when they are addicted to announcing how far our generations +have progressed from barbarism. + +The price of blood in Kerry was not high. For example, the men that +murdered FitzMaurice were paid £5 for the job, and they had never seen +him before. His family had to be under police protection for five years, +and I managed to get £1000 subscribed for them in England, Mr. Froude +taking an enthusiastic and generous interest in a very sad case. The +victim left two daughters, who both married policemen. + +One young and cheery Kerry landlord was very proud, about 1886, at the +price of forty shillings being offered for his life by the Land League, +whereas nearly all the others were only valued at half a sovereign +apiece. + +As a matter of fact, almost any one could have been shot at Castleisland +if a sovereign were offered, for they cared no more for human life than +for that of a rat. Parnell himself would have been shot by any one of a +couple of dozen fellows willing to earn a dishonest living if a +five-pound note had been locally put upon his head. A patriotic +philanthropist, destitute of the bowels of compassion and of every +dictate of humanity, might have saved a great deal of undeserved +suffering if he had made this donation towards his 'removal'--a pretty +euphemism of Land League coinage. + +Most of that generation are dead, in gaol, or have emigrated. It would +take the deuce of a big sum to tempt any Castleislander to-day to commit +murder, except under provocation, and the same improvement is observable +all over Ireland. I believe a hundred pounds might be put on the head of +the least popular agent or landlord, and he might walk unscathed without +police protection. + +All that has been set forth in this chapter might be regarded as a heavy +indictment of crime and disorder, but I cannot avoid adding one +confirmatory piece of evidence, as eloquent as it is accurate. This is +the fearful description of the state of Kerry which appears in Judge +O'Brien's charge to the Grand Jury at the Assizes, founded, of course, +on the report of outrages submitted to him. It is impossible to guess in +what stronger words his opinions would have been expressed if the total +number of outrages committed had been laid before him; but it is well +known that only a few of those committed were reported, as, if the +criminals were taken up and identified, the victims would be likely to +be shot in revenge, while the guilty persons, tried by a sympathising +jury, would obtain acquittal and popular advertisement. + +The charge was as follows:-- + +'COLONEL CROSBIE AND GENTLEMEN OF THE GRAND JURY OF KERRY--I requested +your permission to defer any observations I was about to make to you, in +order that I might have an opportunity of examining certain returns +which had been made to me containing materials for forming a judgment +upon the state of things in this county of which I was put in possession +upon my arrival, and I was desirous of being afforded an opportunity of +examining these materials to try if I could discern whether, in the +considerable lapse of time that has happened since the last Assizes, I +could see any reason to conclude that an improvement had taken place in +the state of things that has now so long existed in the County of Kerry, +and other counties in the south of Ireland, to try if I could discern +whether lapse of time itself, the weariness of that state of things, if +the law and influences that lead persons to avoid violations of the law, +or to follow the pursuits of industry, had led in the end to any +favourable change in the state of things; but I grieve to say that it is +not in my power, unfortunately, to announce that any change has taken +place. On the contrary, all the means of information that I possess lead +to the unhappy conclusion that there is no improvement, but that, on the +contrary, there exists, even at this moment, a most extraordinary state +of things--a state of things of an unprecedented description--nothing +short, in fact, of a state of open war with all forms of authority, and +even, I may say without exaggeration, with the necessary institutions of +civilised life. + +'These returns present a picture of the County Kerry such as can hardly +be found in any country that has passed the confines of natural society +and entered upon the duties and relations, and acknowledged the +obligations, of civilised life. The law is defeated--perhaps I should +rather say, has ceased to exist! Houses are attacked by night and day, +even the midnight terror yielding to the noonday anxiety of crime! +Person and life are assailed! The terrified inmates are wholly unable to +do anything to protect themselves, and a state of terror and lawlessness +prevails everywhere. Even some persons who possess means of information +that are not open to me, profess to discern in the signs of public +feeling, in the views of some hope and some fear, the expectation of +something about to happen, something reaching far beyond partial, or +local, or even agrarian, disturbance, and calculated to create a greater +degree of alarm than anything we have witnessed, or anything that has +happened. + +'When I come to compare the official returns of crime with those of the +preceding period, I find that the total number of offences in this +county since the last Assizes is somewhat less in number, even +considerably less in number, than in the corresponding or the preceding +period of the former years. But the diminution of number affords no +assurance or ground of improvement at all, because I find that the +diminution is accounted for entirely in the class of offences that +acknowledges to some extent the power and influence of the law, namely, +in threatening letters and notices, while the amount of open and actual +crime is greater than it was in the former period, showing that there is +an increased confidence in impunity, and that menace has given place to +the deed. Within not more than ten days from the time that I am now +speaking, not less than four examples of midnight invasion of houses in +this county have occurred, accompanied with all the usual incidents of +disguises and arms, and the firing of shots, and violence threatened or +committed; in one instance the outrage having been committed upon the +residence of a magistrate of this county, a man living with his family +in his home, in the supposed delusive security of domestic life, of law, +and respect for social station; and in another instance committed upon a +humble man, and encountered, I am glad to say, in that instance, with a +brave resistance, giving an example of courage which, if it were widely +imitated, many of the evils that this country suffers from would no +longer exist. + +'I need not dwell upon the most aggravated instance of all which this +calendar of crime presents--one that is quite recent, and within the +memory of you all--the murder of Cornelius Murphy, a humble man, but one +enjoying apparently the confidence and respect of all his neighbours, +who had done no harm to any person, who was not conscious of any +offence, whose house was invaded at a still early hour of the evening, +and before the daylight had departed, by a band of men that is shown to +have traversed a considerable distance of country, giving opportunities +of recognition to many, and with hardly the pretext of an offence on his +part, and in reality with the object of private plunder or private +hostility--one of those motives that always take advantage of a state of +disturbance in order to gratify private ends--slain in his own house in +the presence of his own family. Certain persons, it would appear, have +been arrested on a charge of complicity with this crime, and it may be +that this cruel and wicked crime may be the means of discovering other +crimes, and of leading in the end to the detection, if not to the +conviction, of persons who have been connected in them, and those who +rest in the supposed confidence of impunity may find the spell broken, +may find the light of information to reach them, and may find in the end +that the law will be able to prevail; because it must be in the +experience of many of you that it is unhappily in the power of a few +persons who engage in this system of nightly invasion of houses to +multiply themselves, apparently by means of terror and intimidation, +although at the same time there can be no doubt that, on account of +interval of distances, and for many such reasons, there must be many +such combinations in this country, acting entirely independent of each +other. + +'No person can be at a loss to understand the misery and suffering that +arises from a state of crime; but perhaps all persons in the community +do not equally understand one form of consequence to material prosperity +that results from it. I have before me a document that contains most +terribly significant evidence of mischief, alike to all classes of the +community, that results from crime and a state of social disturbance. I +have a return of malicious injuries which form the subject of +presentment at these Assizes, in number, I understand, exceeding all +former precedent. There are no less than eighty-six presentments, +representing all forms of wicked outrage upon property, a tempest--I +might say without exaggeration, a tempest--of violence and crime that +has swept over a considerable portion of this county. The claims amount +to £2700, with the result that the Grand Jury had presented upon a +certain part of this county £1250, exercising apparently the greatest +care and discrimination in reducing the amount of the claims, and this +£1250 was not put upon the whole county, but on certain parts of the +county, and the amount at the very least aggravated in a most serious +degree the weight of taxation that falls upon the ratepayers of the +County Kerry, deepening the difficulties that all classes alike must +experience from the depression of the times, and from the other burdens +they have to meet in providing against the demands that are made upon +them. + +'But, of course, you can easily understand that these things do not at +all give you any idea of other forms of material injury that arise from +crime and disturbance, in the loss of employment and the discouragement +of capital, the injury to trade, and the multiplied consequences of all +kinds detrimental to the community that arise from insecurity to +personal property and life. And to all those evils we have to add +another, and perhaps the worst of all--that of which you are all +conscious, of which experience and observation reaches you every day in +all the forms of social life--a system of unseen terrorism, a system of +terror and tyranny that the well-disposed class of the community ought +to detest and abhor, and in reference to which, on all sides, I have +heard, in this county and other counties, one universal expression of +desire--that some means should be found to put an end to it. + +'I possess no power myself to effect this state of things, and I cannot +say that in the relation to the law which you fill as members of the +Grand Jury, or in any other relation to the law, you possess the means +to effect it. The duty of providing against so great an evil existing in +the community--the duty and the obligation rests with others. My duty is +simply confined to representing to you the state of things that exists, +and, indeed, in that respect I know that I am doing what is entirely +unnecessary, for the state of the County Kerry now, and for a period of +five or six years, in all its essential features, is known far beyond +the limits of the county, to every single person in the country. I will +merely make use of one general observation--that I by no means share in +the opinion that has been expressed as to the inability to deal with +this state of things. On the contrary, I entertain the most perfect +confidence that it is in the power of those who are intrusted with the +duty of maintaining the public peace to re-establish order and law and +peace in this county. And as my duty is confined to representing that +state of things, that duty does not carry me to indicate to those on +whom the responsibility rests the means to attain that object.' + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE + + +In the early part of the winter of 1884, so bad did the state of Kerry +become, and so menacing was the attitude of the Land Leaguers towards +myself, that I felt I had no right to endanger the lives of my wife and +daughters by any longer permitting them to reside at Edenburn. + +In all those years, from 1878 to 1884, be it noted that I gave more +employment in Kerry than any one man, a fact which has been testified to +by different parish priests, but at the same time I was agent for a +great many landlords, and tried my level best to get in rents for my +employers. + +For this cause my life had been repeatedly threatened, and now, in +November 1884, dynamite was put to my house, the back of it being badly +blown up. There were sixteen individuals in the house, mostly women and +children, and an attempt was therefore made to murder them all in the +effort to take the life of one individual they were afraid to meet in +the open. + +The house was repaired and I received compensation in due course from +the County, but my family did not think after what had occurred that +Edenburn was a desirable place of residence. So I henceforth resided +much in London, and therefore spent a great deal less money in Kerry. + +Perhaps, however, I had better be a little more diffuse about what was +known all over the British Isles as the Edenburn Outrage, but the bulk +of this chapter will be drawn from observations by members of my family +and newspaper accounts, for the episode left considerably less +impression on my mind than it did on that of my womenfolk, and indeed on +the public, at the time. + +To show how matters stood, one of my daughters reminds me that I gave +her a very neat revolver as a present, and that whenever she came back +from school she always slept with it under her pillow. Moreover, she +recollects that the customary Sunday afternoon pursuit was to have +revolver practice at the garden gate. + +There had been several episodes of an ugly nature; for example, one of +my sons competing in some sports at Tralee was advised to make an excuse +and to go home separately from the womenfolk. + +He took the hint, and my wife with the governess and several children +went back without him in the waggonette. About a mile and a half from +the town, just where the horses had to walk up a steep hill, a number of +men with bludgeons and sticks came out of a ditch, peered into the trap, +and seeing it contained nothing but women and children let it pass on +with a grunt of disgust, whilst they trudged back to Tralee. + +One of my daughters, years after, on being taken in to dinner in London, +was asked by her companion if she was any relation of mine. + +She having confessed the fact--one I hope in no way detrimental, though +I say so, perhaps, who should not--he mentioned that he had been to a +most cheery dance at Edenburn, which had made a great impression on his +mind, because for seven miles along the road by which he and his friends +drove there were pickets of constabulary, and the hall table was piled +so full with the revolvers brought by the guests, that all the hats and +coats had to be taken to the smoking-room. + +It may be as well to again mention that my wife during the very worst +periods had never any difficulty in keeping or obtaining domestic +servants. No doubt the maids liked having two or three stalwart +constables always hanging about the place, and capital odd job men they +made. + +A constable neatly humbugged a footman, and I may here mention the +incident, though it is subsequent to the episode of this chapter. + +One house we took in London was in Glendower Place, and when the +servants arrived, my wife found that the footman's face was covered with +sticking-plaster. He was a regular gossoon, though shaped like a fine +specimen of the pampered menials who condescend to open the front door +of large mansions to their betters. + +A constable had hoaxed him into believing that he could never walk in +the London streets without using firearms, and having advised him to +learn to do so, the idiot put the weapon against his cheek, and the +first kick had knocked away a voluminous portion of his countenance. + +At the end of November 1884, we were packing up to leave, and all the +big cases were in the stable-yard ready to be carted away. There were +five policemen at the time in the house, and two of them were on sentry +duty all through the night. + +None of us had had good nights for some time past, but on the evening of +November 29th I came back from the meeting of the Board of Guardians at +Listowel, and said to my wife as we sat down to dinner:-- + +'After all, we are starting for England to-morrow morning without any +necessity, for I do believe the country is beginning to settle down.' + +This is the only occasion on which I ever ventured on a cheerful +prophecy since Ireland came under the baneful spell of Mr. Gladstone, +and it was the most foolish remark I ever made. + +That night came the explosion, but I prefer to let the press tell the +tale. + +The _Manchester Guardian_ relates:-- + +'The explosive matter was placed under an area in the basement story, +dynamite being the agent employed for the outrage. A large aperture was +made in the wall, which is three feet thick. Several large rents running +to the top have been made, and it now presents a most dilapidated +appearance. The ground-floor, where the explosion occurred, was used as +a larder, and everything in it was smashed to pieces, the glass +window-frames and shutters being shivered into atoms. On the three +stories above it, the explosion produced a similar effect. To the right +of it, one of Mr. Hussey's daughters was sleeping, and the window of her +room was entirely destroyed. Mr. J.E. Hussey, J.P., slept in another +room about thirty feet from the scene of the explosion, and his window +and room fared similarly. The butler slept in a small room on the +basement, which was completely wrecked, the windows being shattered to +pieces, the lamp and toilet broken, and the greater part of the ceiling +thrown on him in the bed. The length of the house is about fifty yards, +and the windows in the back, numbering twenty-six, have been altogether +destroyed. Mr. S.M. Hussey and his wife slept in the front, and they +were much affected by the explosion. Three policemen who had been +stationed in the house for the past couple of years slept on a +ground-floor in front. The coach-house and stables near the house were +considerably damaged. In the garden two greenhouses, one about 120 yards +away, and the other fully 150, were injured, the greater portion of the +glass being broken and the roofs shaken. In several houses at long +distances the shock was plainly felt. The dwelling-house subsequently +presented a very wrecked appearance. On looking at the back of it, there +are several rents or cracks to be seen in the solid masonry, and the +slates are shaken and displaced. Everything shows the terrific force of +the explosion. In the yard a large slate-house was much damaged, the +slates being displaced and the roof shaken and cracked. A large stone +was found here, having been blown from the dwelling-house.' + +From the _Times_ may be culled these additional particulars: + +'There is a fissure some inches wide in the main wall from the ground to +the roof, and a little more force would have effected the evident object +of making the residence of the obnoxious agent a heap of ruins. The +damage done is estimated at from £2000 to £3000, but this is only a +rough conjecture.' + +The _Cork Constitutional_ throws further light in a somewhat badly +expressed article:-- + +'The most extraordinary circumstance connected with the outrage is the +secrecy and stealth which must have been resorted to in order to avoid +detection. It was well known in the neighbourhood that not alone were +three policemen constantly at Edenburn for Mr. Hussey's protection, but +that a number of dogs were also kept on the premises, and it is, +therefore, astonishing the care and caution which must have been +resorted to in order to successfully lay and explode the destructive +material. Some idea of the force of the explosion as well as the +stability of the building which resisted it in a measure, may be +gathered from the fact that it was distinctly heard in the town of +Castleisland four miles away. Mr. R. Roche, J.P., who lives a mile from +Edenburn, also distinctly heard the explosion, which he describes as +resembling in sound that caused by the fall of a huge tree in close +proximity. Those who were at Edenburn at the time state that between +four and half-past four a low rumbling noise, followed by a sharp +report, was heard. The house trembled and shook to its foundations. The +inmates, some of whom were only awakened by the shock, were seized with +an indescribable terror. All the windows were smashed to atoms, the +furniture and fixtures in the interior were rattled, and some lighter +articles disturbed from their position. The suddenness of the alarm, and +the darkness of the night, coupled with an indefinite idea as to the +nature and extent of the explosion, made the occupants of the house +afraid to stir, and it was not until some servants living adjacent +arrived that the consternation caused in the household subsided +sufficiently to enable them to examine the house, and judge of the +narrow escape they had had from a violent and horrible death.' + +The consternation most decidedly did not spread to the master and +mistress of the establishment. The _Kerry Sentinel_ quickly had an +allusion to 'a report that Mr. Hussey turned into bed after the outrage +with one of his laconic jokes--that he should be called when the next +explosion occurred.' + +As a matter of fact what I did say was:-"My dear, we can have a quiet +night at last, for the scoundrels won't bother us again before +breakfast." + +And I can solemnly testify that within ten minutes of that observation I +was fast asleep, and never woke till I was called. + +But perhaps the best impression of what occurred can be obtained from +the recollection of my daughter Florence, now Mrs. Nicoll, who was an +inmate of Edenburn at the time. + +'I was awakened by a terrific noise, which to my sleepy wits conveyed +the impression that the roof had fallen in. It was then between three +and four in the morning. I lit a candle and ran out into the passage +where were congregating my family in night attire. My father was +perfectly calm. + +'"Dynamite and badly managed," was his laconic explanation. We all asked +each other if we were hurt, and began to be alarmed about my brother +John, who, however, put in an appearance in a singularly attenuated +nightshirt, with a candle in one hand and a revolver in the other, with +which he was rubbing his sleepy eyes. + +'"Singular time of night, John, to try chemical experiments without our +permission, is it not?" said my father. + +'Then John and my mother went downstairs to inspect the premises; of the +back windows, thirty-four in number, there was not a bit of glass as big +as a threepenny piece left. Our brougham was in the yard; the window +next the explosion was intact, but the one on the further side was blown +to smithereens. + +'The servants were very scared, and one maid having rushed straight to a +sitting-room, was there found hysterically embracing a sofa cushion. + +'We received one odd claim for compensation. An old woman living half a +mile off complained that the force of the explosion had knocked some of +the plaster off the wall, and that it had fallen into a pan full of +milk, spoiling it. + +'Whilst we were all chattering about the outrage, father said:-- + +'"Don't be uneasy about a mere dynamite explosion; it's like an +Irishman's pig, you want it to go one way and it invariably goes in the +other." + +'And with that he went off to bed again, with the remark about having a +quiet night which he has mentioned earlier in this chapter. + +'The only other thing which I now recall is, that a detachment of the +Buffs in the neighbourhood had found us the only people to entertain +them. + +'On being told that Edenburn had been blown up, one of them said:-- + +'"They were the only neighbours we had to talk to, and the brutes would +not leave us them as a convenience."' + +The Cork correspondent of the _Times_ wrote:-- + +'Among the general body of the people of Kerry, the news of the attempt +to blow up Mr. Hussey's house at Edenburn caused comparatively little +excitement. In the County Club at Tralee, the announcement was received +with something like a panic. Hitherto, persons who considered themselves +in danger were careful to be within their homes before darkness had set +in, and when going abroad had a following of police for their +protection. Now it is shown that their houses may prove but a sorry +shelter, even when a protective force of police is about, and it is no +wonder that, with the terrible example furnished in this instance of the +daring of those who commit foul crimes, the class against whom the +outrages are directed should be filled with fears for the future. The +people generally show but small interest in the occurrence. + +'The attempt to blow up Mr. Hussey's dwelling is the first of its kind +in Kerry, and the third that has been made in Ireland. Within the past +few years the districts of Castleisland and Tralee have been +distinguished for the number and ferocity of the outrages that were +committed there.' + +I am also tempted to quote from the 'Leader' in the _Times_ on the +outrage:-- + +'Mr. Hussey has a reputation, not confined to Ireland, as an able, +fearless, and vigorous land agent, the best type of a much abused class +of men who have endured contumely and faced dangers, by day and night, +in order to protect the rights of property intrusted to them. + +'It appears that, owing to the disturbed state of the locality, he +intended to leave it for the winter; and this probably being known to +his enemies, they made an effort to destroy him before he got beyond +their reach. He, at all events, seems to have been under the spell of no +pleasing illusion as to the supposed tranquillity and the reign of +order. On the contrary, he is alleged to have stated that more outrages +than ever are committed, and that but for the deterrent force employed +by the Government, there would be no living in the country, ... This is +the opinion of the majority of Englishmen. They are not all satisfied +that the spirit of lawlessness and disorder is rooted out; and they will +find only too strong confirmation of their doubts in the reckless +violence of the National Press, and in the attempt--marked by novel +features of atrocity--to destroy Mr. Hussey's household.' + +As for the National Press, it indulged in an ecstasy of enthusiasm over +the perpetration, combined with intense disgust "at the miscarriage of +justice" of my having escaped without hurt or more than very temporary +inconvenience. On my departure, one eloquent writer compared me to +'Macduff taking his babes and bandboxes to England,' a choice simile I +have always appreciated. + +The _United Ireland_ of December 6, 1884, in a characteristic +leaderette, headed 'A very suspicious affair,' observes:-- + +'We should like to know by what right the newspapers speak of the affair +as "a dynamite outrage"? A very curious surmise has been put forward +locally, namely, that the house had been stricken by lightning. The +shattering of a building by lightning is by no means phenomenal, and the +absence of all trace of any terrestrial explosive agency, gives colour +to the hypothesis that the destruction was due to meteorological +causes.' + +With one last quotation I cease to draw upon what may be termed outside +contributions, and it is one which gratified me at the time. + +It is taken from the _Cork Examiner_ of December 12, 1884:-- + +'Dear Sir,--Authoritative statements having been made in the Press and +elsewhere, that some persons living in Mr. Hussey's immediate +neighbourhood must have been the perpetrators of the horrible outrage, +or, at least, must have given active and guilty assistance to the +principal parties concerned in it; now we, the undersigned, tenants on +the property, and living in the closest proximity to Edenburn House and +demesne, take this opportunity of declaring in the most public and +solemn manner that neither directly nor indirectly, by word or deed, by +counsel or approval, had we any participation in the tragic disaster of +November 28. The relations hitherto existing between Mr. Hussey and us +have ever been of the most friendly character. As a landlord, his +dealings with us were such as gave unqualified satisfaction and were +marked by justice, impartiality, and very great indulgence. As a +neighbour he was extremely kind and obliging, ready whenever applied to, +to help us, as far as he was able, in every difficulty or trial in which +we might be placed. The bare suspicion, therefore, of being ever so +remotely connected with the recent explosion, is, to us, a source of the +deepest pain, a suspicion we repudiate with honest indignation. +Furthermore, the singular charity, benevolence, and amiability of Mrs. +Hussey are long and intimately known to us. We witness almost daily her +bountiful treatment of the poor, and tender care of the sick and infirm. +Her ears never refuse to listen with sympathy to every tale of distress, +nor will she hesitate with her own hands to wash and dress the festering +wounds and sores of those who flock to her from all the surrounding +parishes. With such knowledge as this, we should indeed be worse than +fiends did we raise a hand against the Hussey family, or engage in any +enterprise that would necessitate their departure from among us:-- + + 'Richard Fitzgerald. + Denis Daly. + John Reynolds. + Cornelius Daly. + William Hogan. + Darby Leary. + John Mason. + Jeremiah Dinan. + J. O'connell. + John Neligan. + Daniel Neill. + John Daly. + Thomas Connor. + Jeremiah Connor. + Thomas Shanahen. + Michael Moynihar. + Widow Aherne. + James O'sullivan. + John M'elligott. + Henry Gentleman.' + +As for those really concerned, people tell me that the three implicated +in the dynamite business are all dead in America, and if the information +is accurate no local person was connected with the explosion, though the +miscreants were, of course, housed in the immediate vicinity. + +There was one delicious incident. + +The local branch of the Land League at Castleisland refused to pay any +reward to the dynamiters because we had not been killed, and the leading +miscreant actually fired at the treasurer. Eventually the passages to +America of all the triumvirate were paid, and they thought it discreet +to quit the country, cursing their own stingy executive even more deeply +than they blasphemed against the Law and execrated me. + +A man from the neighbourhood subsequently wrote to me from London that +he could tell me who perpetrated the Edenburn outrage. + +I told him to call on me at the Union Club, of which I was then a +member, and informed him--his name was O'Brien--I would arrange with the +Home Office, in the event of his information being valuable, that he +should get a reward. + +He replied that his life was in danger in London from another Fenian. + +I went to the Home Office and saw Mr. Jenkinson on the subject. He asked +me to send O'Brien down to him and he would settle matters, adding that +he had reason for believing that the story of threats from another +scoundrel was true. + +I saw O'Brien and told him to call on Mr. Jenkinson. + +He answered that he would go, but he never did, and Mr. Jenkinson +subsequently told me that the Land League scented he was going to prove +a troublesome informer, so they practically outbid the Government by +paying O'Brien a large sum, which was handed to him on the steamer as it +was starting for America. + +From that time, until I have been recalling the incidents of the +explosion for this book, I have never given a thought to the affair and +not mentioned it half a dozen times in the twenty years that have +elapsed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES + + +I brought my family back to Kerry in the following summer, and after I +had rebuilt Edenburn I lived there until I gave it to my elder son, who +has it to this day and resides there in peace. + +Matters were very different to that state of idyllic simplicity in the +critical times on which I am still dwelling. + +One night, while in London, I was at the House of Commons, and the +London correspondent of the _Freeman_, being presumably extremely short +of what he would term 'copy,' he proceeded to make observations about me +after this fashion:-- + +'Over here Mr. Hussey is something of a fish out of water. It would be +hazardous to say that if he was to begin his career as an agent again he +would eschew the system that has made him famous, but his present frame +of mind is unquestionably one of doubt as to whether, after all, the +game was worth the candle.' + +That young man will go far as a writer of fiction. + +I received, among more pleasant welcomes on my return to my native land, +the following delightful blast of vituperation from the _Irish Citizen_, +and beg to tender the unknown author my profound thanks for the +diversion his ink-slinging afforded me:-- + +'Here is something about a man who ought to have been murdered any day +since 1879--indeed we don't know that he should have been let live even +up to that date, and as for his family, their translation to the upper +regions by means of a simple charge of dynamite, which nobody of any +sense or importance would even think of condemning, has been most +unaccountably deferred to the present year. This man is Mr. S.M. Hussey, +the miasma of whose breath, according to a well-informed murder organ in +Dublin, poisons one-half of the kingdom of Kerry. Let any man read the +speeches delivered in Upper Sackville Street, and the articles in +_United Ireland_ against Mr. Hussey, and he must ask why the fiend +incarnate has not been murdered long since. The infamy of persistently +turning hatred on a man like Mr. Hussey, and then escaping the +consequences of having thereby murdered him, has no parallel in any +country in the world. Inciting to murder is practically reduced to a +science in Ireland. That Mr. Hussey has not been murdered years ago is +not the fault of the scientist, but the watchfulness of the police.' + +My experience while in England had been that few people I met really +appreciated what boycotting was like, so how are my readers of twenty +years afterwards to do so? Yet when I went back to Ireland, it seemed to +me even more cruel than when I had grown comparatively accustomed by +sheer proximity to it. + +Mr. Parnell had himself given the order in a public speech:-- + +'Shun the man who bids for a farm from which a tenant has been evicted, +shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.' + +This was done with the thoroughness which characterises Irishmen when +back-sliding into unimaginable cruelties. Should a boycotted man enter +chapel, the whole congregation rose as with one accord and left him +alone in the building. Considering the sensitive and pious disposition +of the average Irishman, such ostracism was even more poignant than it +would be to an Englishman. + +Only two families in Kerry, possibly in Munster, at Christmas 1885, had +the courage to resist the National League police, commonly called +moonlighters. These two were the Curtins and the Doyles. The Curtins had +to be under constant police protection, were insulted wherever they +went, and their murdered father was openly called 'the murderer.' As for +the Doyles, the Board of Guardians was urged to harass his unfortunate +children, who were both deaf and dumb. + +The same Board of Guardians was most lavish in its relief to any man +evicted for declining to pay his rent. In one case they gave a man +fifteen shillings a week--or treble the ordinary out-of-door relief--for +over six years. + +Sir James Stephen, a man of acute discriminations, who has done more +justice to the Irish problem than any one else, wrote:-- + +'The great difficulty the Land League and the National League have had +to contend with is that of hindering the neighbouring farmers, peasants, +and labourers from frustrating the strike against rent by taking up +vacant farms, however they came to be vacant. Boycotting never succeeded +unless crime was at its back. The Crimes Act cut the ground from under +the feet of the boycotters, not so much by its direct prohibitions of +the practice as by making it unsafe to commit outrages in enforcing the +law of the League. The Land League and the National League were nothing +else but screens for secret societies whose work was to enforce the +League decrees by outrage and murder.' + +Whenever the 'History of Modern Ireland' comes to be written, that +glowing outburst of truth ought to be quoted. + +There were some evictions carried out at Farranfore on the estate of +Lord Kenmare, by the sub-sheriff, Mr. Harnett, and a force of military +and police numbering about one hundred and thirty. + +During the eviction of one Daly, horns were blown and the chapel bell +set ringing. These appeals drew about three thousand people to the +place, who groaned and threw some stones, besides growing so menacing +that the Riot Act had to be read, upon which the whole crowd moved off. + +This brought a characteristic effusion from _United Ireland_:-- + +'We remember the time when Kerry was a county as quiet as the grave, +when its member, Henry A. Herbert, in the debate on the Westminster Act +of 1871, was able to rise in his place and boast that in purely Celtic +counties like his there was no crime, and that agrarian outrages was +confined to districts infused with English blood, like Meath and +Tipperary. What has changed it? Principally the malpractices of a couple +of agents ruling over half its area, whose bloated rentals grow swollen +under their hands with the sweat of dumb and hopeless possessors.' + +Whatever else he possessed, that writer had not one vestige of truth +with which to cover the indecency of his misrepresentations. + +He did not mention that Mr. Matthew Harris, a Member for Galway, had +publicly observed that if the tenant farmers of Ireland shot down +landlords as partridges are shot in the month of September, he would +never say a word against them. + +It is a fact that the convulsion of horror at the murder of Lord +Frederick Cavendish alone prevented an organised campaign for the +'removal' of Irish landlords on a systematic and wholesale scale. + +By the way, according to his son, it was quite by chance that Professor +Mahaffy--that illustrious ornament of Trinity College--was not also +murdered. He had intended to walk over with poor Mr. Burke after the +entry of the Viceroy and Chief Secretary, but he was detained by an +undergraduate and so found it too late to catch the doomed victim before +he started. Had he walked with them, it is questionable if the murderers +would have attacked three men: on the other hand, he might, of course, +have been added to the slain. + +There was a meeting of Lord Kenmare's and Mr. Herbert of Muckross's +tenants at Killarney addressed by Mr. Sheehan, M.P., who advised them, +as the landlords refused 70 per cent, only to offer 50 per cent., and +nothing at all in March (1887), as by that time the new Irish Parliament +would have allotted the land free to the present holders, without any +compensation to the landlords. + +Despite the efforts of traitors on both sides of the Channel, that Irish +Parliament has not yet been summoned. + +The parish priest, Mr. Sheehy, stopped the Limerick hunting, and so took +£24,000 a year out of the pockets of the very poor. That man did more +harm than the landlords, who alone gave the poor work, and there is no +doubt that many of the worst crimes were instigated and indirectly +suggested from the altar. + +At this point I want to interpose with one word to the reader to beg him +not to regard this as either a connected narrative of crime, much less a +regular essay with proper deductions--the trimmings to the joint--but +only a series of observations as I recall events which impressed me, and +which I think may come home with some force to a happier generation that +knew neither Parnellism nor crime. To write a consecutive and connected +history of these atrocities would be to compile a volume of horrors. I +prefer to give a few recollections of outrages, and to let the direct +simplicity of these terrible reminiscences impress those who have bowels +of compassion. + +A gentleman named Nield was killed in Mayo, simply because he was +mistaken for my son Maurice. This was in broad daylight, in the town of +Charlestown. It was raining hard at the time--a thing so common in +Ireland that no one mentions it any more than they do the fact of the +daily paper appearing each morning--and the unfortunate victim had an +umbrella up, so the mob could not see his face. They shouted, 'Here's +Hussey,' and tried to pull him off the car, but the parish priest +stopped this. However, before he could reduce the villains to the fear +of the Church, which does affect them more than the fear of the Law, +they gave poor Nield a blow on the head, and, though he lived for six +months, he never recovered. + +Another time, when returning to his house in Mayo from Ballyhaunis, on a +dark night, my son Maurice found a wall built, about eighteen inches +high, across the road, for the express purpose of upsetting him. It was +only by the grace of God--as they say in Kerry--and his own careful +driving, that he was preserved. + +In those same Land League times, my son was a prominent gentleman rider. +At Abbeyfeale races he rode in a green jacket and won the race, which +produced a lot of enthusiasm, the crowd not knowing who it was sporting +the popular colour. They only heard it was my son after he had left the +course, whereupon a mob rushed to the station, and the police had to +stand four deep outside the carriage window to protect him, to say +nothing of an extra guard at the station gates. + +The cordiality of my fellow-countrymen also provided me with another +disturbed night at Aghadoe, which I had leased from Lord Headley. + +To quiet the apprehensions of my family, and also to relieve the mind of +the D.I. from anxiety about my tough old self, there were always five +police in the house, and two on sentry duty all night. + +On this particular date, about two o'clock in the morning, we were +aroused by hearing shots fired in the wood below the house, the plan of +the miscreants being to draw the police away from the house. As this did +not succeed, a second party began a counter demonstration in another +quarter. The theory is that a third party wanted to approach the house +from the back in the temporary absence of the constabulary, and +disseminate the house, its contents, and the inhabitants into the air +and the immediate vicinity by the gentle and persuasive influence of +dynamite. + +However, the police were not to be tricked, and soon the fellows, having +grown apprehensive, or having exhausted all their ammunition, were heard +driving _off_. Signs of blood were found on the road towards Beaufort +next morning, so the attacking force suffered some inconvenience in +return for giving us a bad night. + +Lord Morris, among a group of acquaintances in Dublin, pointing to me, +said:-- + +'That's the Jack Snipe who provided winter shooting for the whole of +Kerry, and not one of them could wing him.' + +'Mighty poor sport they got out of it,' I answered, 'and I have an even +worse opinion of their capacity for accurate aiming than I have of their +benevolent intentions.' + +Other people know more of oneself than one does, and I was much +interested to hear that, in this year of grace, the editor of the _Daily +Telegraph_ said of me:-- + +'Sam Hussey, yes, that's the famous Irishman they used to call +"Woodcock" Hussey, because he was never hit, though often shot at.' + +I always thought 'Woodcock' Carden had the monopoly of the epithet, but +am proud to find I infringed his patent. + +I was benevolently commended by a vituperative ink-slinger, Daniel +O'Shea, in his letter to the _Sunday Democrat_ in 1886, but none of +those he blackguarded were in the least inconvenienced by 'the roll of +his tongue,' as the saying is:-- + +'A vast number of the Irish have been heartlessly persecuted by the most +despotic landlords of Ireland, such as Lord Kenmare, Herbert, Headley, +Hussey, Winn, and the Marquis of Lansdowne, all of whom are Englishmen +by birth, and consequently aliens in heart, despots by instinct, +absentees by inclination, and always in direct opposition to the cause +of Ireland. Poor-rate, town-rate, income-tax, are nothing less than +wholesale robbery, and is it any wonder that some of the people who are +thus oppressed should be driven to desperation? It is deplorable to +learn that they should have had any cause to commit what are called +"agrarian" crimes. Why not turn their attention to these landlords, the +police, the travelling coercion magistrates, not forgetting the +emergency men? These are the people to whom I would direct the attention +of the men of Kerry.' + +I have given a number of examples of how I have been genially +appreciated in the hostile Press, but my family are of opinion that it +would not be fair, considering how many kind things were published in +loyal journals, not to render some tribute to them too. I was sincerely +obliged when I received a good word, but, frankly, the bad ones amused +me much more. However, I am not ungrateful, and I have specially prized +one able description of my attitude which appeared in the _Globe_, the +manly strain of the writing of which is in healthy contrast to the +hysterical effusions tainted with adjectival mania of those who wanted +me shot, but were too cowardly to fire at me themselves:-- + +'Mr. Hussey is admittedly fair and just in his dealings with his own +tenants. But he is only just and fair, which, in the ethics of Irish +agrarianism, is equivalent to being a rack-renter and a tyrant. He +refuses to let his own land at whatever the tenants think well to pay +for it. He persists, with exasperating obstinacy, in refusing to +sacrifice the interests of the landlords for whom he acts. In short, Mr. +Hussey is one of the most determined and formidable obstacles to the +success of the Land League. While such men have the courage to face the +agrarian conspiracy, that grand consummation of patriotic effort--the +rooting out of landlordism--must be a somewhat tough and tedious +business. He has lived in the midst of enemies, who would have murdered +him if only they had the opportunity. His life, it may be safely said, +has had no stronger security than his own ability to protect it.' + +And yet some one ventured to call Irish land agents 'popularity-hunting +scoundrels.' + +'Popularity and getting in money were never on the same bush,' as I told +Lord Kenmare, and if I had stopped to think how I should make myself +popular, I should have bothered my head about what I did not care +twopence for, and provided an even more easy target for firing at at +short range. + +Drifting from a man who paid no heed to scoundrels, I am led to allude +to the attitude of a profession, the members of which profited by their +amenities--I, of course, mean solicitors--because some one put a +question to me on the subject only the other day. + +My answer is, that none of the solicitors were in the Land League, and +they did not instigate outrages; but they drew comfortable fees for +defending the perpetrators. + +Swindlers and murderers never agree, for they practise distinct +professions. + +We were fighting a Land War, and though I have kept back land questions +as much as I can, in order not to weary the reader with what never +wearies me, I have one or two examples to give which cannot be omitted +if I am to portray the true facts. + +My firm was agent for an estate in Castleisland, the rent of which, in +1841, was £2300. I exhibited the rental, showing only three quarters in +arrear. By 1886 it was cut down by the Commissioners to £ 1800, and the +landlord sold it for £30,000, for which the tenants used to pay four per +cent, for forty-nine years, to cover principal and interest. + +There was a tenant on that estate named Dennis Coffey. He took a farm at +£105 a year; the Commissioners reduced that rent to £80. He purchased it +for £1440--eighteen years' purchase, for which his son has £42 a year +for forty-nine years. The father had purchased a farm for fee-simple of +equal value for £3000, which he left to two others of his sons. So that +one son, by paying half what he had covenanted to pay, and which he +could pay, gets a farm equal in value to what his father paid £3000 in +hard cash for. The man who is paying rent has his farm well stocked; the +others are paupers, and one died in the poorhouse. + +That may belong to to-day, and not to the period of outrage with which I +have been dealing; but it duly points the moral, and is the outcome of +those times. + +At the Boyle Board of Guardians in 1887, upon a discussion over the +Kilronan threatened evictions, Mr. Stuart said:-- + +'There was one of these men arrested by the police. His rent was £4, +12s. 6d., and, when arrested, a deposit-receipt for £220 was found in +his pocket.' + +This case had been freely cited at home and in America as a typical +instance of the ruthless tyranny of Irish landlords. + +My friend and neighbour, Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, addressed the +following letter to Mr. W.E. Gladstone, then Prime Minister:-- + +'Sir--I beg respectfully to call your attention to the following +statement. In 1866, Judge Longfield conveyed to my uncle, under what was +called an indefeasible title, the lands of Inch East, Ardroe and Inch +Island, and previous to the sale, Judge Longfield caused them to be +valued by Messrs. Gadstone and Ellis, and in the face of the rental, he +certified that the fair letting value of Inch East and Ardroe was £230, +and that the fair letting value of Inch Island was £75, now in hand. On +the strength of will, my uncle purchased the lands valued at £305 for +£6200, and your sub-Commissioners have just reduced the rental of Inch +East and Ardroe at the rate of from £230 to £170 a year. + +I therefore request you will be pleased to take some steps to recoup me +for the £60 a year I have lost by the action of the Government, and I +may say this can be partially done by abandoning the quit rent and tithe +rent charge, amounting to £34, 5s. 4d., which I am now forced by the +Government to pay without any reduction. + +A. BLENNERHASSETT.' + +The Right Honourable W.E. Gladstone. + + +The oracle of Hawarden was as dumb to this as to my effusion to a +similar purport already mentioned. Not even the proverbial postcard was +sent to Tralee, so the verbosity of Mr. Gladstone was strangely checked +when he found himself pinned down to facts by Irish landlords. + +Whilst landlords and their families were literally starving, and agents +were collecting what they could at the peril of their lives, the real +land-grabbers, the no-renters, were accumulating money, and investing it +in land. + +I sent the following series of sales to the _Times_ to show the real +value of land:-- + + (1) The interest on Lord Granard's estate, the valuation of which was + five guineas, was sold for £280, and the fee-simple subsequently + bought for £80. + + (2) On one of his own farms for which the tenant paid £65 annual rent, + the tenant's interest fetched £750 and auction fees. + + (3) A farm at Curraghila, near Tralee, annual rent £70, Poor Law + valuation, £51, 10s., area stat. 73 acres. The tenant's interest was + sold for £700. + + (4) Tenant's interest on a farm in County Tipperary, on Lord + Normanton's estate, at yearly rent of £30, was sold for £600, and the + fee-simple purchased for £450. + + (5) Tenant's interest at Breaing, near Castleisland, held at the + annual rent of £51, 10s., was sold for £550. + + (6) At Abbeyfeale, County Kerry, tenant of a small farm, at annual + rent of twenty-four shillings, sold his interest for £55. + +All the sales, save the Tipperary one, were in a district in which, +prior to the Land Act of 1881, tenant-right was unknown. + +Poetry is always congenial to an Irishman, probably because it has +licences almost as great as he likes to take, and has a vague, +irresponsible way of putting things, much akin to his own methods. + +Here are some lines from the 'Irish Tenant's Song' which express a good +deal of the popular emotion:-- + + Oh, Parnell, dear, and did you hear the news that's going round? + The landlords are forbid by law to live on Irish ground. + No more their rent-days they may keep, nor agents harsh distrain, + The widow need no longer weep, for over is their reign. + I met with mighty Gladstone, and he took me by the hand, + And he said, 'Hurrah for Ireland! 'tis now the happy land. + 'Tis a most delightful country that I for you have made--You + may shoot the landlord through the head who asks that rent be paid.' + We care not for the agent, nor do we care for those + Who come upon us to distrain--we pay them back in blows. + And when hopeless, helpless, ruined, these landlords vile shall roam, + We'll hunt and hound them from the roofs they've held so long as home. + +I don't say that was sung in Castleisland, but it might have been the +local hymn and verbal companion to the brutal misdeeds of the benighted +inhabitants. + +As if matters were not bad enough, that Apostle of outrage Mr. Michael +Davitt came to Castleisland on February 21, 1886, and in a pestilential +speech, inciting to crime, he showed that, at all events, he appreciated +that for sheer blackness and turpitude Kerry was bad to beat. He said:-- + +'For some time past Kerry has attracted more attention for the +occurrences which have been taking place here, than the whole remainder +of Ireland put together. I am not without hope that henceforth, until +the battle with landlordism and Dublin Castle is triumphantly over, the +people of Kerry will be towers of strength to the national cause. The +hope of Irish landlordism is now centred in Kerry. Elsewhere it has +none, it is a social rinderpest, since the National League was started +1600 families have been turned out in this one county.' + +Captain M'Calmont in the House of Commons, three weeks afterwards, +called attention to Mr. Baron Dowse's address to the Grand Jury of the +County of Kerry in which he stated:-- + +'That this county is in a very much worse state than it has been for +years: that there are no less than three hundred offences specially +reported to the constabulary since the Assizes of 1885, consisting of +two cases of murder, eighteen cases of letters threatening to murder, +thirty-nine cases of cattle, horse, and sheep stealing, eleven cases of +arson, eighteen cases of maiming cattle, fifty-two cases of seizing +arms, seventy-four cases of sending threatening letters, and twenty-four +cases of intimidation.' + +You will observe that this is the same picture from two different points +of view. + +Almost the worst case in which I was personally interested, was that of +the Cruickshank family. + +The father, an industrious, respectable, elderly Scotsman, supported his +family at Inch by the proceeds of a rabbit-warren which he rented. He +had no farm, and therefore might expect to live in peace, even in Kerry, +in those times; but, as he was a Scotch Protestant, and had arms, he was +a marked man. + +Having been threatened, he was partially guarded by the police who +patrolled the district. However, in April 1885, when the Prince of Wales +visited Ireland, and the constabulary from country districts were +drafted into the towns through which he had to pass, a number of +disguised Nationalists entered Cruickshank's house at night. They gave +him a frightful beating, even breaking a gun on his head, which was +seriously injured. This was done in the presence of his wife and +daughters, and of a young son who, with one of his sisters, went off in +the night to a police station four miles distant, to obtain assistance +for his father. + +Between the fight and the chill received that night, the boy fell into a +decline of which he died in May 1886. One daughter, not strong at the +time of the outrage, became a chronic invalid. The father, as soon as he +was able to move after the perpetration, applied for compensation under +the Crimes Act, but as it was then to expire in about a fortnight, the +Lord-Lieutenant refused to consider the case. The poor fellow continued +to suffer from the wounds on his head, and so affected was he by the +shock of his son's death, that he became insensible and only survived +him a few weeks, leaving his widow and three daughters without any means +of support. + +My wife and the former Archdeacon of Ardfert appealed for subscriptions +and obtained £120, which enabled the unfortunate survivors to return to +Scotland. + +That was the settlement of the land question that suited the +Nationalists, namely, to cause the death of the head of the family, and +to get the rest out of the country. It did not say much for the +civilisation of the nineteenth century, but after the brutalities of the +spring of 1871 in Paris, there can be no doubt how thin is the veneer +over the barbarity of even the most civilised; those deeds were +perpetrated in the heart of the European capital specially devoted to +amusement: what I describe took place in the most distant portion of +Europe, where Nature is lovely and man, alas, the creature of impulse, +the prey of those who lead him into the worst temptations. + +Another settlement was suggested by an anonymous writer who concealed +his identity under the pseudonym of Saxon. He observed:-- + +'Two hundred millions of English money are now (1886) to be spent buying +out Irish landlords, but would it not be surely better and more in +accordance with reason and justice to buy out the tenants? At a very low +calculation, two hundred millions would put a couple of hundred pounds +in every Irishman's pocket, and there is not one of them that would +refuse to leave his beloved country, and bless America or Australia on +these terms. The island could be populated with Scotch and English +settlers, and our difficulties be at an end. The Irish must not have +their own loaf and ours too. I commend this scheme to Messrs. Gladstone +and Morley. It is quite as just, quite as reasonable, and more forcible +than their own.' + +Hear, hear! say I, but our grandchildren's grandchildren when grey old +men will still be trying to settle the Irish question, which can never +be settled until there arises a big man strong enough to force his will +on the Empire and fortunate enough to be able to hand over the reins of +political dictatorship to an equally enlightened and powerful successor. + +It is hopeless to expect Irish matters to go well, when the balance of +parties in the House of Commons is held by hirelings and traitors, men +who debase patriotism and would to-day encourage outrage as much as they +did in 1884, if it was worth their mercenary while. + +I had a word to write myself a year later to Mr. T. Harrington, who +thought he could tell as many lies about me as suited his own purpose, +and I addressed my reply, published on August 29, 1887, to the Editor of +the _Times_. It ran as follows:-- + + +'Sir--I have just read the speech of Mr. T. Harrington in the debate on +Mr. Gladstone's motive relating to the proclamation of the National +League, in which he states that I invented and gave to Mr. Balfour the +particulars of the boycotting of Justin M'Carthy. I beg you will allow +me to state that I never wrote to Mr. Balfour, or to any member of the +Government, on that or any subject. Had I supplied the information, I +would have mentioned some facts which Mr. Balfour omitted, for instance, +that a man named Andrew Griffin was nearly murdered because he brought +provisions to Justin M'Carthy, that four men were put on their trial for +the outrage, but notwithstanding a plain charge from the judge, the +jury, fearing the vengeance of the League, acquitted the prisoners. I +would also mention a fact that would seem almost incredible to your +English Catholic readers, that the old man cannot attend his place of +worship without being hissed at in the church, and that his aged wife, +while partaking of the sacrament of the Holy Communion, was hissed at +and jeered. These things can be proved on oath, and are not to be set +aside by frothy declamation. Neither can the fact be disproved that one +of the offences for which Justin M'Carthy has suffered was that he +purchased his farm from me under Lord Ashbourne's Act, a proceeding +which (as it is likely to settle down the country) is considered a +deadly crime; and for committing the same offence another man in the +same barony had his cows stabbed. + +Your obedient servant, S.M. HUSSEY.' + + +There is yet another case I cannot forbear from handing on to a +generation that knows no outrages nearer home than Macedonia. Six +ruffians, having their faces covered with handkerchiefs, and armed with +heavy cudgels, entered the house of a farmer named Lambe and began to +beat him. To save his head from the blows, he ran the upper part of his +body up the chimney and held on by the cross-bar. His wife, on coming to +his assistance, was beaten so severely that her skull was fractured, +while an aged female--stated to be in her ninety-seventh year--was not +only roughly handled, but also beaten. A most discreditable episode +indeed, in a land formerly renowned for respect for womanhood, and for +the warm-hearted generosity of her sons. + +In only one instance in Kerry was police protection being regarded as +necessary up to the present summer, and all who know the contemporary +condition of affairs will at once recollect that Mrs. Morrogh Bernard is +the lady in question. + +The late Mr. Edward Morrogh Bernard of Fahagh Court, Bullybrack, was a +Roman Catholic, who had resided in Kerry all his life, and some +five-and-twenty years ago he built on his property the residence in +which he died in the spring of 1904. He and his wife, an English lady, +who was justly beloved for her wide charity, were one night, after +dinner, sitting in their drawing-room, when a party of masked +moonlighters walked in. One of them held a pistol to her head, and told +her not to scream or move, else he would shoot her. Another performed +the same kindly office for Mr. Bernard, whilst the rest ransacked the +house for arms and money. + +Mrs. Bernard noticed that the hands of the man who was threatening her +with violence were not those of an agricultural labourer, because they +were small and white. On the strength of this clue, the police arrested +a little tailor in the village, and she courageously identified him in +court, though every possible pressure was brought on her not to do so. +He was sentenced to several years' imprisonment, and his friends vowed +they would make it hot for Mrs. Bernard, and ever after she has been +protected by two or three constables. The police did not live in Fahagh +Court, but in a hut specially built for them a few yards off, and at +night they always came into the house. To the very last days of Mr. +Bernard's life whenever he and she went to pay a call on a neighbour, +two policemen followed them either on a car or on bicycles, and I have +never heard any reasons advanced to show that these precautions were +superfluous. + +Meeting this little party on the highway was the only thing in the +twentieth century which brought home to the British tourist the terrible +deeds which blackened Kerry in the eighties. + +I have always looked on the light side of life, even when it has seemed +blackest, and so I will not close this chapter without a more cheery +anecdote. + +There was a good deal of friction among Land Leaguers over the amount of +relief money and other remuneration doled out by the rebel authorities. +This seldom reached a more droll pitch than in the complaint of a girl +at Rossbeigh, who wrote to a prominent member of Parliament--since +deceased--that another girl had been awarded a pound for booing at a +sergeant, 'while I, who broke a policeman's head, never got so much as +would pay for a candle to the Blessed Virgin.' + +Sometimes the crafty Paddy utilised the agitation for his own purposes, +as the following example will prove. + +A farmer's house was fired into, but no one could tell the reason why, +for he had not paid any rent and was a good Land Leaguer. He was asked +if he could account for it himself, and after some shuffling under +promise of strict secrecy, made the following revelation. + +'Well, it was this way, I married a dacent girl from the North, and all +went well with us until her mother came along, and she had the divil's +own tongue, and nothing could get her out of the house. I would say "the +North has fine air, would not a change back there get you your health?" + +'To which the old Biddy would reply:-- + +'"Where would I live except with my only daughter and her husband?" + +'And this sort of thing made me desperate, and I promised the "bhoys" +five shillings if they would fire round the house on a certain night. On +the evening that had been agreed upon, I began reading on the paper how +farms in Castleisland were being fired into, and the old woman said that +if these things were so, County Kerry was worse than County Cork, and I +thought to myself "maybe you'll find it so, you ould divil." + +'Well, they came and did their work in grand style after we had gone to +bed, and there was the mother-in-law screeching and bawling, and every +hour too long for her until daylight, when I put her in the cart and +drove her to the station.' + +The sequel is that the couple left to themselves lived happily ever +after, a thing more likely to happen to people in England and Ireland, +if it was no one's business to make bad blood between them. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +COMMISSIONS + + +I have probably given evidence to as many Commissions as any living man, +for I have been before seven, and never once was asked a question that +posed me. + +I enjoyed the experience of being asked about what I knew by those who +knew nothing on the subject, and if the legal mind was a little more +obtuse than the civil, well, it was only the choice between a grey +donkey and a black. + +The earliest Commission I gave evidence before was one on Agriculture. +Professor Bohnamy Price was one of the Commissioners, and he knew what +he was talking about, others being Lord Carlingford, the Duke of +Buccleuch, and the Duke of Richmond and Gordon, who presided. The peers +were all used to big parks, obsequious bailiffs, and huge demesnes. I +think they metaphorically picked up their coat tails and stepped +carefully away from the Irish potato patches and acres of turf. + +It was alleged that prosperity of nations was a good deal owing to +tenant-right. + +'I do not think so,' said I, 'because Donegal and Kerry have +approximately the same value and area, same number of miles of road and +sea frontage. There is extreme tenant-right in Donegal and none in +Kerry, yet the prosperity of the farmers in Kerry is extremely superior +to those of Donegal.' + +'There is too much tenant-right in Donegal,' said Mr. Chichester +Fortescue, who was examining me. + +'Not if it is a good thing,' I replied, 'for then you could not have too +much.' + +Mr. Shaw Lefevre's Commission on the housing of the working classes in +Ireland was very uninteresting. 'Oxen are stalled, pigs are styed or +take possession of the cabin, but what is done for the Irish labourers?' +asked a passionate mob-orator, and in many cases it might have been +answered that a good deal more has been done for them than the idle +ruffians deserve. I had no difficulty in showing that landlords were +always willing to give assistance in housing labourers, and when an +ex-mayor of Cork on the Commission seemed to doubt my assertions, I +might have retorted that though he was used to factory hands, yet he had +never bothered himself how they lived out of work time. + +The Duke of Devonshire was on this board. He has obtained his great and +honourable reputation by conscientiously slumbering through many duties. +His tastes are for racing and shooting, but from sheer patriotism he has +devoted himself to politics with all the energy of his lethargic manner, +which successfully conceals abnormal common-sense. It was he, more than +any other man, who saved Ireland from Home Rule, though as an Irish +landlord he has not come much to the fore, because his vast English +estates are immeasurably more important than those situated round +Lismore. This picturesque town was once called the abode of saints, but +only antiquarians remember that its university was once so important +that Alfred the Great went there to study, and that in the old castle +Henry II held a Parliament. The Cavendishs rebuilt the latter, and both +in appearance and position it much resembles Warwick Castle. It has not +very many bedrooms, and when the King was first expected, among various +extensive alterations, a bathroom was put up. The Duke has generally +visited Lismore twice a year, and has never stood unduly on his dignity, +but been approachable by all, and reasonable about everything, which has +also been characteristic of his political views. + +Lord Bessborough presided over a Commission on Irish Land Laws. He was a +very kind, very lean man, who was wont in old age to walk about London +wrapped in a black cape, and was idolised at Harrow, where twenty +generations of boys knew him and his brothers and valued their unabated +interest in school cricket. Baron Dowse, a judge I have already +mentioned, the O'Conor Don, and Mr. Shaw, were the members who put +questions to me. I remember the O'Conor Don was much impressed when I +mentioned I had made six tours in Scotland, and had been in Holland, in +Belgium, in France, in Germany, in Italy, and just before in Spain, to +inquire into the state of agriculture. I said that if a man persisted in +farming badly I would serve him with notice to quit even if he paid his +rent, and I pointed out that there were three hundred thousand occupiers +of land in Ireland whose holdings were under £8 Poor Law valuation, and +these occupiers, when their potatoes fail, have nothing to fall back +upon but relief work, starvation, or emigration, and I further laid +before the Commission a purchase scheme. There would be twenty years' +purchase-money to be lent by the State, two years' purchase to be found +by the tenant and two years more at the end of ten years. Thus the +landlord would get a price for his property that would induce him to +sell (reductions had not then been wholesale) and the tenant would get a +lease for ever with abolition of rent at the end of thirty-five years by +paying a fine of two years' rent down and two more at the end of ten +years. + +They would not have it. Who ever expected that Justice would lift the +bandage from her eyes for the sake of fair play to the landlord? + +Lord Salisbury had a Commission on the working of the Land Act of 1881. +Lord Dunraven, Lord Pembroke, and Lord Cairns were on it, the latter +being chairman. He was so austere that, when he was made Lord +Chancellor, it was said he had swallowed the mace and could not digest +it. His law may have been profound, but it was never relieved by a gleam +of humour, and his ecclesiastical proclivities were of the lowest Church +type. For some time he nominated Tory bishops, and it was declared he +was so evangelical that he would have suggested any clergyman for a +vacant bishopric who promised to forego the ecclesiastical gaiters. His +horror of Anthony Trollope's novels was notorious, especially his +dislike of Mrs. Proudie and her attendant divines. + +I said the working of the Land Act was ruin to Irish landlords, and +cited a case. A Kerry gentleman had an estate of £1200 rent roll, with a +mortgage of £8000 which involved charges of £400 a year, a jointure +tithes and head rent took £400 more. The Commissioners by so cutting +down the rent by £400 made a clean sweep of what that landlord had to +live on. Fortunately, he had his mother's fortune of £40,000, which his +grandfather had wisely provided should not be invested in Irish lands, +having, in fact, established a contingency in case his grandson should +be dispossessed of the property he had held for generations, by a +Government truckling to blustering 'no-renters.' + +Before Lord Cowper's Commission on the same subject, I said much the +same thing over again and realised that Royal Commissions are most +valuable for the purpose of shelving pregnant topics. The only good +derived from these official inquiries is that the witnesses get their +expenses and the Government printers have a lucrative contract. + +There is a story told of a witness who was being brought over to London +to give evidence. + +'Patrick,' said the priest, 'you'll be having to mind what you're saying +over there. Perjury won't help you no more than I can, my poor fellow.' + +'What happens if I get a bit wide of the truth then, father?' + +'You won't get your expenses, my son.' + +'Holy Mother, to think of that! I'll be so careful that I won't know how +many legs the blessed pig has that's round the cabin all day long.' + +Sir Edward Fry's Commission had none of the tinsel of big names nor the +tawdriness of aristocratic apathy. Sir Edward meant to find the truth, +and so did his colleagues--all practical men. What they did was to +strike against the hard rock of party government which was too adamant +to receive the evidence sown by these gardeners. Dr. Anthony Traill, who +was one of the Commissioners, has in this very year of grace been made +Provost of Trinity, and from what I saw of him I am certain he will be +the apostle of fair play between undergraduates and dons. + +I answered over five hundred questions and rammed home one or two +points. For instance, I expressed my disapproval of a system by which a +man who is a sub-Commissioner at the hearing on the first term may +become the Court valuer on the next. + +In valuation, it is wrong that men from the north should be sent to +value in the south, or _vice versâ_, and to prove that I cited the +example of my tenant, Anne Delane. Her rent was fixed first term in 1883 +for £34, 10s. In 1896, for second term, the sub-Commissioner fixed it at +£23, 10s., and on appeal it was raised to £25. Mr. O'Shaughnessy, who +was one of the sub-Commissioners on the first term, acted as a Court +valuer on the second. On the first time he allowed £103, 6s. 9d. for +drains and buildings, and on the second omitted it. + +In the case of Hoffman, who held a farm at a rent of £30, I reduced it +to £20 in 1881. In 1896 he went into court, and the County Court judge +reduced it to £15, and on appeal he got it again reduced to £13. + +On land which came into my own hands after 1881, I was able to get rents +over 50 per cent. in excess of those fixed by the sub-Commissioners. In +the case of Patrick Quill, the farm on which the rent was cut down from +£20 to £16 was sold for £300 with a charge of £9 on it. + +In the case of Michael Callaghan, Colonel Hickson expended £300 and +Callaghan £100 on the farm, for which the rent was £70, and he sold his +interest for £700. + +This perpetual wrangling and litigation is ruinous, for every man is +farming down his land and letting it deteriorate as fast as he can; and +there is a most marked difference in the county between those who have +bought their land and those who are tenants. When a judicial rent was +fixed and a tenant came into Court for a second judicial rent, I think +the landlord should have been at liberty to stop him by tendering the +farmer twenty years' purchase; that would give him a reduction of 20 per +cent, and make him a proprietor in the course of time. + +In 1850 at Milltown Fair, yearlings were selling for 30s. apiece. The +same cattle now are selling for £5, and Kerry is a great stock-breeding +country. + +It is very hard to define a landlord, and you will hear of some being +landlords who do not get a shilling from their estates. Under these +circumstances they would be like the fox in Æsop's fable who had lost +his own tail. + +To show how the Land Act works, on the Harenc estate I was offered +twenty-seven years' purchase before the Act for a holding, and at the +time of the Commission they offered me sixteen years' purchase on +two-thirds of the rent. + +One other Commission besides that of the _Times_ remains to be +mentioned. Lord Balfour of Burleigh, a dour Scot with a lot of gumption +in his head, was chairman of one on Imperial _versus_ local taxation. My +easy task was to show the excess of the latter in Kerry, which is the +highest taxed county in the three kingdoms. + +When a man thinks of the vast amount of information buried beyond all +probable excavation in the Blue Books of the last fifty years, he may +well break into Carlyle-like diatribes against the waste of the whole +thing--which is paid for out of the taxpayer's pocket. + +Alluding to all these Commissions reminds me that there were three Land +Commissioners--Mr. Bewlay, who was very deaf; Mr. FitzGerald, who was +rather hasty; and Mr. Wrench, who consistently absented himself to +attend the Congested Board. + +So they were respectively, though not respectfully, called, 'The judge +who could not hear, the judge who would not hear, and the judge who is +not here.' This was one of the witticisms of my clever friend, Mr. +Robert Martin--'Bally-hooley'-one of the very few men who can write a +good Irish song, and sing it well, into the bargain. + +I appeared in the witness-box in the case of O'Donnell _v._ the _Times_. +I suppose people buy newspapers to obtain information, or else to get a +pennyworth of lies to induce equanimity in bearing the income-tax, the +weather, and all other ills that an unnatural Government is responsible +for; and I further suppose a halfpenny paper has to condense its +inaccuracies, and serve them up in tabloid form for mental indigestion. +However, that is as it may be; anyhow, I had a hearty laugh at the +_Star_, which wrote:-- + +'A look round the Court again this morning brought the strange +impression which one now always feels on entering the Court. The space +is so comparatively small, but one feels as though it were all Ireland +in microcosm. You see representatives of every class in the terrible +conflict of war, of rival passions, hatred, and traditions. This man +with the large nose, the large and disfigured face, is Mr. Hussey, and +those scars that you see, and the distortion of the features, are +perchance marks left by some desperate and homicidal tenant avenging his +wrongs.' + +That 'perchance' is good, considering my riding misadventure in County +Cork, of which I gave an account earlier. + +As for the Parnell Commission, it was the outcome of superb patriotism +on the part of the _Times_. That great organ, in the spirit of purest +devotion to the best interests of England and Ireland, honestly +attempted to expose treachery, and to denounce treason. Hundreds of +columns of the valuable space at their daily disposal, as well as +thousands of pounds earned by the highest journalism of any country, +were freely lavished in this tremendous denunciation, known as +'Parnellism and Crime.' The crime of Pigott eventually saved Parnell and +his followers. But the last word on that has not yet been spoken. +Another pen than mine may, perchance before long, tell the whole truth +about that tragic episode, and explain what is still an unsolved riddle +in all dispassionate minds. Without challenging and exciting the +strongest racial prejudices, it will be impossible to lift the veil, and +I have no intention of affording even the slightest preliminary peep +behind the scenes of that dramatic affair. The wheels of God grind +slowly, and they ground exceeding small almost before the absurd +exultation of Nationalist relief over the Pigott episode had abated. It +is almost time to treat the whole affair from the historical point of +view, and then the idol of Home Rule will be pulverised. However, that +is another story in which I have no chapter to write. + +My own share in the Parnell Commission was on November 29, 1888, on the +twenty-third day. I was examined by the Attorney-General, the present +Lord Chief Justice, and the most popular and most honourable of men. At +that very time, I have heard, he sang each Sunday in the surpliced choir +of a Kensington church, and I suppose he is the very best chairman of a +committee or of a public meeting of our own or any other time. A +Parnellite once said he had the unctuousness of a retired grocer, but +was contradicted by a more reverent English Radical, who said, 'No, he +has the unction of grace,' whereas, the truth is, he has the platform +manner with him always. + +I told the Court I had been a Kerry magistrate for the previous +thirty-seven years, and, after deposing to the earlier state of my +property, I insisted that moonlighting and 'land-grabbing' were unknown +terms before 1880. My examination under the Attorney-General was, in +fact, too practical and useful to provide amusement for latter day +readers. + +My cross-examination was begun by Sir Charles Russell, who led off with +a sneer about my being the most popular man in the county, and, when I +adhered to other statements, he added, 'Well, a very popular man. I will +not put you on too high a pinnacle.' (Laughter.) Then for an hour and a +half he plied me with the best balanced statistical questions I ever +heard put in a hostile spirit, and without a note I could answer every +one. After considerable hesitation I admitted on consideration that +there was in Kerry one farmer benefiting by the Act of 1870. I have +never heard since that he was caught and exhibited as the solitary +outward and visible sign of the inward and legal benefit of the +legislative force of Imperial Parliament. + +Mr. Lockwood, to whom, as artist, I had been serving as a model, +evidently preferred to handle me with pencil rather than with questions, +for he was almost as brief as Mr. Reid. It is my view that they both had +consigned me to petrification under Sir Charles Russell, and finding me +alive and kicking, thought me too tough to expire under such _coups de +grace_ as they could inflict. + +We came to banter when Mr. Michael Davitt suggested that the young men +of Castleisland took part in nocturnal raids because there was no such +social inducement to keep them quiet, as a music-hall or a theatre; but +I told him there ought to have been no inducement to them to shoot their +neighbours, and that Castleisland was past redemption. + +He blandly alluded to my popularity with the tenants before 1880; but I +only said that I got on fairly well with them, for I do not think that +any agent was ever really popular. + +'Relatively?' insidiously. + +'Yes.' + +Then came this curious question, put with a gentleness that would have +aroused the suspicion of a babe:-- + +'Did you ever say, in reply to a question put to you by Mr. Townsend +Trench as to why you were not shot, that you had told the tenants that +if anything happened to you he would succeed you as agent?' + +'Yes, I did say so; but it is not original, because it is what Charles +II. said to James II.' + +This historic reference, which elicited laughter in Court, did not seem +intelligible to my questioner, but some better informed person probably +soon quoted it to him:-- + +'Depend on it, brother James, they will never shoot me to make you +king.' + +From the kid-glove amenities of Mr. Davitt to the aggressive harshness +of Mr. Biggar was a sharp contrast. He heckled me vigorously, and I +retorted to him pretty hotly. A great deal had been expected of this +cross-examination, but the general opinion was that I gave rather better +than I received. Coolness is the despair of cross-examiners, and I think +mine made more impression on the Court than the impulsiveness of a dozen +inaccurate Nationalists. + +Mr. Biggar asked:-- + +'You said you were popular in the district up to 1880?' + +I retorted with emphasis:-- + +'I never had a serious threat until you mentioned my name in +Castleisland, and then people told me, 'Get police protection at once, +or you will be shot!' + +That made the Court laugh. Mr. Biggar did not appreciate the humour. He +returned to the charge viciously:-- + +'Did not some of your sympathisers light a bonfire in 1878 at +Castleisland on account of the triumphs of your buying the Harenc +estate? and did not the population of Castleisland, who knew your +character, scatter that bonfire, and put it out?' + +'I heard they had a row over it. There were nine bonfires lighted in +Kerry after I succeeded. I was fairly popular until you held up my name +as a subject for murder in Castleisland. You said Hussey might be a very +bad man, but you would take care of one thing--that if any person was +charged with shooting him, or any other agent, they would be defended, +which meant they would be paid.' + +Mr. Biggar did not appear to relish the line he was on, and shunted to +another topic; but he could not shake my view that the rents of 1880 +were, on the average, twenty-five per cent. lower than in 1840. + +'You bought the Harenc estate over the heads of the tenants?' + +'No, I did not.' + +'You spoke about an address which you received from the tenants when you +were a candidate for Tralee?' + +'Yes.' + +Then, with the snarl of a wild beast, Mr. Biggar blurted out:-- + +'Have you any idea whether this was got up by the bailiffs on your +property?' + +'I am quite certain it was not, because I had no bailiffs on the +property. I gave an immense deal of employment, and I believe that had +something to do with it.' + +Mr. Biggar presently sat down, having made less of me than he and his +friends hoped. + +On re-examination, the Attorney-General observed:-- + +'You say one of the bonfires, lighted when you succeeded, was put out. I +suppose the Irish people are not very averse to a row at times?' + +'Oh no.' + +'And bonfires do produce rows at times?' + +'Certainly.' + +'Your popularity did not depend on one bonfire?' + +'No.' + +Nor did my life, fortunately, depend on the good will of Messrs. +Parnell, Biggar, and their associates. + +With reference to my freedom in telling the truth, an application was +made against me, in July 1891, for an attachment of the Land Court. It +ended abortively, and permitted me to continue with perfect impunity to +give in letters to the _Times_ evidence I was debarred from giving in +Court. + +I certainly did not miss a chance of pointing out the proper path to the +Commissioners, and I have taken an even affectionate interest in every +department of the Land Commission. Sarcastically, a Home Rule paper +politely christened me as the fatherly patron of the Court, and informed +me that my own conscience had given up communication with me, in +consequence of the many snubs it had received. + +The intimate knowledge of my most private affairs that this purports to +represent proves the empty-headedness of the writer, and when he added +that the strong indictment rebounded off my hide because I had heard +myself a hundred times denounced in language equally eloquent, I can +only agree that he was a mere lisping babe in comparison with some +adjectival denunciators who, to their regret, find I am still alive and +equal to them all. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +LATER DAYS + + +With advancing years comes a change in the point of view, for +anticipation contracts even more than retrospect expands. Associates of +early days have passed away, and where I was once one of a battalion, +to-day I am only a survivor of the old guard. This is not a cause for +sadness, but an incentive to take the best of what remains of life, +though at times chills and other ills, including doctors, drugs, and +income-tax, do their best to depress the survivor. It has been said to +be a characteristic of Irish humour that tears are very near the +laughter, and sometimes the unshed tears over lost opportunities must be +the chief bitterness of age--one which I have been mercifully spared. + +After all, youth may round the world away, as Charles Kingsley wrote; +but when the wheels are run down, to find at home the face I loved when +all was young is the blessing of life, and when, at our golden wedding, +our children called us Darby and Joan, I am sure my wife and I were +quite willing to answer to the names. + +This was happiness very different to that of George IV., who, when the +death of Napoleon was announced to him in the words:-- + +'Sir, your great enemy is dead,' exclaimed:-- + +'Is she? By Gad!' thinking it was his wife. + +I remember an amusing case that occurred in our own family. One of my +kith and kin, who had been married in the year of the battle of +Waterloo, died at the ripe old age of a hundred and three. + +There was a faithful old fellow on the estate who was much attached to +her, and this was his view, just before her end:-- + +'I am sorry to hear the old mistress is dying, very sorry indeed, for +she's been a good mistress to us all. Maybe if she had taken snuff she'd +have lived to a good old age,' which suggests wonder as to what his +conception of longevity really was. Probably the famous Countess of +Desmond, who died from the effects of a fall from a cherry-tree in her +one hundred and fortieth year, would have satisfied him. + +I have already observed that much of my later years has been spent, much +against my will, in London, and no portion of this period was so +satisfactory to me as my friendship with Mr. J.A. Froude, which I regard +as one of the privileges of my life. + +My first acquaintance with him was in consequence of reading his +_English in Ireland_, which I found so accurate and informative that I +wrote to ask him for an interview. I came to like him very much, not +only because he was the most gifted writer I have met, but also because +he understood Ireland better than any other Englishman. + +My first conversation with him was in his house in Onslow Gardens, and +there I very frequently sat for hours with him, and he also presented me +with copies of all his books, with an autograph letter on the fly-leaf +of each. I think the recent Land Purchase Act, having been followed by +increased agitation for Home Rule in Ireland, bears out what he said +about the folly of trying to reconcile the irreconcilables, and also +bears out what Lord Morris called the 'criminal idiotcy' of attempting +to satisfy eighty Irish members, forty of whom would have to starve +directly they were satisfied. + +So far as I am aware, Mr. Froude never contemplated standing for +Parliament, which would not have been a congenial atmosphere for him, +though I am convinced he would have made more mark at Westminster than +his friend Mr. Lecky, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. + +People to-day seem to regard Mr. Froude simply as the Boswell of +Carlyle, and, forgetting his own great services to historical +literature, degrade him to the mere chronicler of the bilious sage of +Chelsea. This is absolutely a distortion of fact, and one calculated to +do injury to the memory of both these famous men. Therefore it may be of +real utility to state that during my long and very intimate acquaintance +with Mr. Froude, he never mentioned the name of Carlyle to me but once, +and that was to describe a conversation between Lord Wolseley and +Carlyle, which dealt with the contemporary situation in Ireland. There +was, therefore, nothing to show me that my friend 'was utterly absorbed +in the Carlyles, and had no thought for any one else.' On the contrary, +he was a man full of keen interests, of which they were only one, and, +as far as I saw, an entirely subordinate one. He was a broad-minded man, +who hated petty misconception or a narrow view of anything, and he would +have been horrified at the prurient indecency with which the most +private affairs of the Carlyles have been exposed and distorted to +please a public which really has a higher moral tone than is possessed +by those who have gibbeted the defenceless dead. + +Mr. Froude was not addicted to talking much about his own works, but I +remember his telling me that _Oceana_ had paid him best of them all, and +I think his view therein that the colonies will recede from England when +they are strong enough, following the example of the United States, is +accurate. Just tax Canada as Ireland has been taxed, and see how long +the Canadians will be contented. The ministers of George III. tried that +policy on the United States with the result that, before many years, +George had to receive the Plenipotentiary Minister of dominions over +which he himself had once reigned. It is absurd to compare Ireland with +Yorkshire, as has been done, for Ireland once had a separate Parliament, +and the Union was a matter of agreement, the outcome of which was that +Mr. Childers's Commission found she was taxed three millions more than +she should have been. The colonies are on the alert, with all the rather +irritable uppishness of youth on the verge of manhood, and their younger +generations are sure to take full advantage of any tactless conduct of +the British Government. Such was Froude's view, and nothing has happened +since his death to shake its inherent probability. The waves of Imperial +patriotism in war time go for very little, for Ireland is admittedly +disloyal, and yet Irish soldiers and Irish regiments were absolutely the +most successful in South Africa. + +When the Government was introducing some quack measure into Ireland, +Froude wrote to me:-- + +'I see they are putting some fresh sticks under the Irish pot, so it +will soon boil over.' + +Which it did, with a vengeance. + +To the end of his days Froude was a great reader, but his interest in +Church affairs and in ecclesiastical differences had completely died +away. He told me that the most accurate man of business of any period +was Philip of Spain, and that his notes and memoranda were a marvel of +practical aptitude. He derived the chief information for his _History of +England_ from Spanish despatches, and would to-day have benefited +considerably by the translations of Major Martin Hume. + +Personally Froude had no cranks; his disposition was most urbane, whilst +he was very neat in his appearance and also in his handwriting. It would +certainly be of interest to give a few of his racy letters, too often +undated, which I have preserved. Unfortunately, his executors firmly +refuse the necessary legal consent, so that I am compelled to make my +book irreparably the poorer by omitting what should have been one of its +most attractive contents. In justice to Froude's memory, I ought to add +that there was nothing in his correspondence with me that would have +diminished his high repute. I mention this because otherwise busybodies +might have misinterpreted the arbitrary action of his executors to the +detriment of his fame. + +A later friendship than that with Froude also must have a sincere +allusion in these pages, for I have derived much pleasure from my +association with Sir Henry Howorth, a ripe old lawyer of Portuguese +extraction, who has rendered valuable political service by his polemical +letters to the _Times_, on which I can pass a most favourable opinion. +His histories of the Mongols, the Mammoth, and the Flood are possibly +more permanent, but they are not of such contemporary note. At any rate, +I respect them from a distance, whilst I admire the political effusions +as the capital work of a comrade under arms, and one who is not afraid +to verbally bludgeon any formidable contemporary Hooligans. + +Sir Henry Howorth occasionally breaks out into a story, though he is +more frequently a listener to mine. This is one of his that I happen to +recall:-- + +The Mayor of Richmond gave a dinner, at which a distinguished Frenchman +sat next the Mayor's son, and on replying for the guests in imperfect +English, observed:-- + +'I am vary happy to be here, and to meet my young friend, who is a sheep +of the old bloke,' meaning, of course, a chip of the old block. + +I plead guilty to have materially increased the interest felt by Sir +Henry in Irish affairs, which is not diminished by the fact that a niece +of Lord Ashbourne is married to his son. + +I think it was to him that I recommended another panacea for the evils +of Ireland, namely, that it would be a good plan to exchange Ireland for +Holland, for the Dutch would reclaim Ireland, and the Irish would +neglect the banks of Holland, with the eventual result that the living +Irish question would be washed away. + +Just now I alluded to a mayor, which reminds me of a story about an +Irish mayoress. As his Majesty has by this time been entertained at +several Corporation luncheons, it is not invidious to give the tale. + +The Mayoress, who was the heroine of the festal occasion in question, +felt completely overpowered by the royal society in which she found +herself, and when seated at the meal next to the King, was absolutely +unable to articulate any reply at all to the observations he addressed +to her, so eventually he gave her up, and turned his colloquial +attentions to the lady on the other side. + +After a while, fortified by the champagne, the Mayoress grew more +courageous, and, admiring the gentleman in full uniform on her right, +said to him:-- + +'Might I be so bowld as to ask whether you are Lord Plunket?' + +'No,' he replied, with a smile, 'I am not.' + +'Would you mind telling me who you are, for I'm sure I don't know?' + +'I am the Duke of Connaught,' complaisantly replied her neighbour, upon +which she gasped:--'Oh, God in Heaven, another of them!' and subsided +into unbroken silence for the rest of the repast. + +Another amusing case of mistaken identity occurred when Mr. Gladstone +was concocting his treasonable Home Rule Bill. He had been informed that +Lord Clonbrook would be able to give him invaluable information, so he +told his wife to ask him to luncheon. She, however, mistaking the name, +invited the late Lord Clonmel, a jovial sportsman known to his friends +by the nickname of 'Old Sherry.' + +Somewhat surprised at being thus honoured, Lord Clonmel consulted a few +cronies, who all advised him to accept, and in due course he proceeded +to Downing Street, where he found the French Ambassador was the only +other guest. It is possible that Mr. Gladstone thought him a little odd +and his attire somewhat demonstrative, but he was prepared for any +eccentricity in an Irish peer, and hardly noticed how excellently his +guest was doing justice to the meal, whilst preserving impenetrable +silence. Directly it was over, the Prime Minister took him apart, and +said:--'Now I want you, privately and confidentially, to give me your +view of the exact relation between landlord and tenant in Ireland.' + +'Absolute hell, my dear boy, absolute hell,' was the emphatic reply of +the old sportsman. + +That confidential conversation went no further; but I have never been +sure that Lord Clonmel in the least overstated the case. + +This renewed allusion to the lower regions that appears so closely +connected with Irish affairs reminds me of an amusing incident which +took place in a Dublin tram. Two members of the fair sex were discussing +their plans for the summer in the interior of a car, and one of them in +a mincing brogue said to the other:-- + +'I think I shall go to England this summer; it is so difficult in +Ireland to get away from the vulgar Irish.' + +'Faix,' screamed in much indignation an old Biddy sitting opposite, 'if +it's the vulgar Irish you want to avoid, and the English you want to be +meeting, it's to hell you must go, and you'd better go there this +summer.' + +That's the sort of quick retort which a Scotchman calls Irish insolence, +but then, who expects appreciation of real wit from any one canny? Wit +is irresponsible, a truly Irish propensity. + +The two mincing young women were almost as much disgusted as another old +lady who found herself opposite a stalwart working man, who incensed her +by his frequent expectoration. Gathering her skirts round her somewhat +ample form, she called the conductor and asked:-- + +'Is spitting allowed in this tram?' + +'By all manes, me lady,' was the gallant reply, 'shpit anywhere you +like.' + +While alluding to trams, I cannot forbear relating one other Dublin +tale, which Lord Morris picked up from me and was fond of telling. Its +brief course runs thus:-- + +'Would you tell me, if you plaze, where I'll find the Blackrock tram?' +asked a fussy little old woman of a policeman, busily engaging in +manoeuvring the traffic of a crowded street. + +'In wan minute you'll find it in the shmall of your back,' was the +laconic reply. + +The mere allusion to a query suggests how the British tourist invariably +starts trying to discuss the Irish question directly he is across the +Channel, and the insoluble part to any Saxon is that half the Irish do +not seem to desire a solution at all. + +'What a fine country this would be if it were peaceful,' observed a +thoughtful Britisher, with a Cook's ticket in his pocket, on Killarney +Lake. + +'Peace! What would we do with it?' was the scornful reply of his +boatman, surprised for once into ejaculating the truth. + +Some landlords know how hopeless it is to attempt to prevail against +these sons of our epoch. + +'It has been of no use to hold up a candle to the hydra-headed devil,' +said one landlord to me about his tenants, 'for affability is more +expensive than absenteeism. If I say, "Good morning, Tom," the fellow +expects twenty per cent. off the rent, and "How's your family?" is +considered to imply forty per cent, abatement'--and that cannot be +called putting a premium on good fellowship from the landlord's point of +view. + +I have not said much about the way in which the Irish in America foster +insurrection, because it does not come within my own province. But I +have before me the type-written essay on the subject composed by a Kerry +landlord, who, in his lifetime, had exceptional opportunities of judging +of this in New York, and from it I am tempted to take a few sentences as +the manuscript is never likely to see the light of print. + +'There are three distinct types of the Irish-American Home Ruler, who +have been and are even now supporting with their dollars or their +eloquence, the "Irish Cause" as it is somewhat vaguely termed +throughout the United States. They can be distinguished as follows:-- + + '1. The American--born Irishman of immediate Irish descent. + + '2. The native Irishman who has emigrated from Ireland. + + '3. The American Irish-American of long American descent, who, though + not inheriting a drop of Irish blood, is yet a vigorous if not + obstreperous ally of the Irish party in America. This last is the most + striking of the three, as on the face of it, he would not appear to + have any logical _raison d'être_ as a political entity, but in reality + exerts a powerful influence in favour of "the Cause." + +'One phase of the methods favoured by Irish-American Home Rulers is the +ingenuity with which cable reports, as printed in the newspapers, are +utilised for platform purposes. Let an account be flashed under the +Atlantic descriptive of some agrarian demonstration in Ireland, which +having been declared illegal, is dispersed by military. Forthwith the +opportunity is seized, and on some public platform or at some big +banquet, the fervid orator poses as the champion of human liberty. +"Another British outrage upon the Irish people! A brutal and licentious +soldiery let loose to gag free speech and prevent, at the point of the +bayonet, the exercise of the rights of freeman. Thank God, that you and +I my Irish-American fellow-citizens, are living in this glorious +republic, where such things are impossible!" + +'After hearing this amazing outburst, it is well to recall actual facts, +and compare the methods of suppressing riots in the United States and +the United Kingdom. For example, on July 12, 1871, a number of Orangemen +had organised a procession through the principal thoroughfares of New +York, which was resented by a large contingent of Catholic Irishmen, and +on a violent collision ensuing, the State militia was called out to +restore order, a task they most effectually accomplished by firing +volleys into the crowd of belligerents. The citizen soldiery of America +are accustomed to adopt summary measures with impunity. They possess the +resolution of the Irish constabulary without the uncomfortable +vacillation of Dublin Castle to thwart their efforts.' + +In the past the Irish vote in America has been hostile to England, and +has had much to do with that measure of ill-feeling in the United States +which has deterred that Union of the Anglo-Saxon races that would enable +them to lick creation. + +An example may be cited in the case of Egan. This man was an ex-Fenian +leader, who wielded much influence in Nationalistic circles as far back +as the seventies, and when he was Treasurer of the Land League, he is +described by Mr. Michael Davitt--who ought to have a fine capacity for +discriminating degrees of scoundrelism--as the most active and able of +the Nationalist leaders in Dublin. Some time after the Phoenix Park +murders he settled in the United States, and whilst distinguishing +himself by the exceptional violence of his appeals on behalf of +outrageous Ireland, he was actually sent as American Minister to Chili. +This would not have caused me to notice him here but because it is +necessary the community should be warned that, unlike a good many of his +contemporaries and comrades, he is not an extinct volcano. On March 10 +of this current year, when still the chief Nationalist in the States, he +had a long interview with Count Cassini, the Russian Minister at the +Russian Embassy at Washington, just before a meeting of all the +diplomatic representatives, and the American correspondent of the +_Morning Post_ does not hesitate to accuse Russia of financially +assisting the cause which Egan fosters. This sort of thing ought not to +be ignored in England. As an international action, it is hitting below +the belt, and when bad times come again to Ireland the Nationalists will +look to the Ministers of the Great Bear for funds, and are not likely to +be disappointed. Still it is curious that a Government which, at home, +exiles Nihilists and other bomb-throwers should, abroad, give +contributions to the cause that instigated the blowing up of my house, +and the outrages which rendered Ireland so notorious. + +Not many years ago my wife was once more seriously alarmed at Edenburn +by the formidable proclivities of a man P----, who sat all day at my +gate with a gun, which he said he used for shooting rabbits: but we all +knew I was the rabbit he wanted to put in his bag. However, he has gone +to another sphere, and I am spending the present summer of 1904 very +happily in the same county. + +A couple of letters addressed there showing the way in which an old +widow expresses herself, when after great labour she has delivered +herself of an epistle, may not prove undiverting. The point is the +amount she can obtain from her children. + + +'Samuel Mr. Hussey Esq. + +Sir--I hope you will be good enough to speak to Downing to give me +Justice. They have any amount of cattle, 2 horses, and my son-in-law's +wife carried 78 pounds book account before Mr. Downing got the case in +hands I would get 2 hundred pounds. I think it little for me according +to the means that was theirs. Now sir, two daughters very ritch sir +minding milk and butter and the one taking it away and selling it. My +son is not wright in his health or mind. They turned him against me and +he is more foolish than your Honour would believe. He says he will give +his uncle that ran away long ago to America mortgage, that Mr. Downing +gave him power to do what he like and those two daughters are very well +off and they will not allow me to do anything. Sir I am shamed of the +way they are treating me. My health and mind is very good, thanks be to +God and to you two Sir. They would not give me the price of the habit +that was berried with their father. Sir it would not pay my debts and +support me long. My father lived 100 years. The Judge said I would live +longer. Sir three hundred pounds is little enough for me according to +the means that is theirs. If I went into the workhouse I would not take +what they wish to give me. £160 they are giving me and I have my +Confidence in God and in your Honour's charity that you will be good +enough to speak for me. If the land don't sell to 5 hundred pounds I +will give it back to the attorney. Will your Honour tell them and I'll +pray to God sir ever to bless you. + +Faithfully, + +MARY LUCY.' + + +And the same dame favoured me with this further effusion: + + +'Mr. Hussey Esq. + +Sir--100 pounds was offered to me before the purchase, a foolish priest +making little of me, himself trying to get it for his friends. The +Bishop, Sir, is kind to me always. For he knows I was wronged and he +don't like the foolish priest, and when I complain of him he is very +good. Sir some good people tell me that anyone at all have no claim but +myself and I wish it was true as all is very valuable. Mr. Connor is +very truthful and nice to me Sir when I will see him I am very sure he +will wish me well and all the good Honourable Gentlemen and yourself are +the best of all to my equals. I know it very well and I will for ever +pray to God in Heaven for you. + +Faithfully, + +MARY LUCY.' + + +So a landlord and agent, even in 1904, still has a few of the +patriarchal attributes in the eyes of the tenants. But to sift wheat +from chaff is easier than to sift truth from the lying blandishments +employed on such occasions. + +The reference to the priest shows that though always feared, when the +land-passion seizes a parishioner, he is set at as much defiance as +possible, should he be moderate, and these are the only occasions when +they venture to tell their confessor unpleasant truths to his face, for +in some country districts they are still convinced that the priests have +power to transform them into frogs and mice. + +A priest once threatened a bibulous parishioner, that if he did not +become more sober in his habits, he would change him into a mouse. + +'Biddy, me jewel, I can't believe Father Pat would have that power over +me,' said the man that same evening as the shadows fell, 'but all the +same you might as well shut up the cat.' + +Over elections the priests have paramount influence as I have already +shown, but may cite an example at the last County election in Kerry, +when three candidates stood, Sir Thomas Esmonde (Anti-Parnellite), Mr. +Harrington (Parnellite), and Mr. Palmer (Conservative). The last-named +out of a poll of six thousand obtained seventy votes. One of them was +given after the following fashion. + +An illiterate voter at Killorglin being asked in the polling booth how +he wished to vote, replied:-- + +'For my parish priest.' + +'But he is not a candidate. The three are Esmonde, Palmer, and +Harrington.' + +'Well, then, I'll vote for Palmer, because it is more like Father Lawler +than the others.' + +Naturally all concerned were convulsed with laughter, but the vote was +duly recorded. + +It is no uncommon thing to see priests carefully teaching illiterate +voters the appearance of the name of the candidate for whom they are to +poll, and also giving them printed cards merely containing his name, so +that they can recognise it on the voting-card. + +Of course an Irishman would take a bribe one way and calmly vote +another. But even this diplomatic tendency is outwitted by the priests, +for nowadays, when they have any doubt of the political sincerity of a +man, they insist on his declaring himself an illiterate voter. Then the +whole question of who is to be voted for is gone through audibly and +verbally, so that the honesty of the voter is known to those hanging +round. In the parish of Milltown, the education is as complete as in any +in Ireland, but at the last election, one third of the voters confessed +themselves illiterate, with the result anticipated by the priest. + +If the priest understands his parishioner--a thing which admits of no +possible shadow of doubt--it is equally certain that the Englishman does +not, as is shown by the following frivolous tale, always a favourite of +mine. + +'Paddy,' said a tourist at Killarney, 'I'll give you sixpence if you'll +tell me the biggest lie you ever told in your life.' + +'Begorra, your honour's a gentleman! Give me the sixpence!' + +No one would have thought of making such an offer to an English loafer, +and no English loafer would have had the wit to so neatly earn his +emolument. + +It is the assumption of simplicity that does the trick, and so well is +that put on that it comes close to the real thing. + +The other day, when the King and Queen were at Punchestown, a Britisher +chartered a car at Naas to drive out to the course, and on the way +remonstrated with the carman on the starved condition of his horse, +whose ribs would have served for an anatomical study. + +'Well, your honour,' the jarvey explained, 'it's an unlucky horse.' + +'How unlucky?' asked the Englishman. + +'Well, it's this way, your honour. Each morning I toss with that horse +whether he shall have his feed of oats or I have my glass of whisky, and +would your honour credit it, the horse has lost these ten days past.' + +I am reminded of the reply given by Lord Derby to a gentleman who sent +him a dozen of very light claret, which he said would suit his gout. +Lord Derby subsequently thanked him, but said he preferred the gout, and +I have no doubt that that horse, had he been able to give tongue, would +have been an ardent upholder of teetotalism when it ensured him a feed +of oats. + +One more story of Lord Derby, as I have just mentioned his name:-- + +A worthy trader had bothered him to let him stand for a certain borough +on the Tory ticket, but the Whig was returned unopposed on the day of +the nomination, and the candidate was subsequently attacked by Lord +Derby for not coming forward as he had promised. + +The man was almost as shaky in his aspirates as in his political +propensities, and his reply was:-- + +'I would have stood, my lord, but there was a 'itch in the way.' + +'It was the more necessary for you to come to the scratch,' was the +immediate retort. + +I always find that story popular at the Carlton, where I spend my +afternoons when in London. I was proposed by Mr. James Lowther and +seconded by the Duke of Marlborough, and very much obliged have I been +to them both, for I have many acquaintances there, and it has all the +conveniences of a comfortable hotel, without having to pay extravagantly +for the privilege of looking at a waiter. + +In the intervals of reading the papers and listening to other people, I +have there, as elsewhere, endeavoured to impart what I know to others +who know nothing about Ireland. They know much more about China or the +aboriginal tribes of Australia, in London, than they do on the topics +dearest to me. + +An English Radical member, after a long chat with my son Maurice, +observed:-- + +'You actually mean to say that if Home Rule were given to Ireland you +would not be allowed to reside there?' + +'Certainly not,' replied Maurice, who knew what he was talking about. + +The member replied that he could not believe him, but that if he had +known that that was the real nature of the Bill he would never have +voted for it. + +I could not desire a better example of English wisdom on this +subject--one which Lord Rosebery has consigned to a distant date in +futurity, foreseeing that if the Opposition are to be handicapped with +Home Rule they will not stand a forty to one chance at the next +election. + +That election will, of course, turn on Protection, and I am therefore +tempted to quote from an article I contributed to _Murray's Magazine_ in +July 1887, entitled 'After the Crimes Bill, What Next?' for I feel my +forecast of over fourteen years ago may serve a useful purpose to-day. +It ran thus:-- + +'In my next suggestion I feel that I am treading on dangerous ground; +still, having undertaken to suggest a remedy for Irish discontent and +anarchy, I must not shrink from offending the prejudices of some of the +wise men of England. + +'Ireland is an agricultural country. There are in Ulster, as in England +and Scotland, factories which support the greater portion of the +population, and cause the prosperity of the province; but outside of +Ulster, cattle and butter are the staple products. And how does Ireland +stand in her only market, England, as compared with other nations? She +enjoys free trade in butter, no doubt, but so do France and Holland; but +these countries, while they find an open market in England, tax all +English and Irish productions, and being manufacturing countries +themselves they can afford to sell butter at so cheap a rate as to swamp +Ireland's market. A slight protective duty on foreign butter would be +hailed with gratitude in Ireland, and do more to allay discontent than +any further acts of so-called "generosity." + +'Again, the great thinly peopled countries of the West find in England a +free market for cattle and flour, and America taxes very highly all +English goods. Why not place Ireland on a par with America, by levying a +slight protective duty on American beef and flour? Every little village +in Ireland formerly had its flour mill, which worked up the corn grown +in the country as well as imported grain. These mills are now generally +idle and the men who worked them ruined. A small duty on manufactured +flour would restore this industry, and enable men with some capital to +give employment to labour, and to work up in small quantities for the +farmer, at a cheap rate, their home-grown corn, as well as to grind +imported grain. Our own colonies may have, no doubt, a right to object +to our taxing their goods, but not so foreign countries. + +'The Free Trade system of England would, no doubt, have been successful +if reciprocated. But the question is worth considering, whether the +English people do not now lose more by taxation resulting from the +chronic state of rebellion in Ireland than she gains by bringing in +American beef and flour, and foreign butter and butterine, free, to the +impoverishment of Ireland, and of the agricultural portions of England +and Scotland? "Remedial measures" for an agricultural country are +certainly not those which spoil its market.' + +Don't dismiss that as pre-Chamberlainese Protection for it is sheer +common-sense on a matter of national importance, and what I wrote in +1887, after many years, has become part of the political convictions of +a great and an increasing party. + +I wonder what the Protective party will be like when it eventually comes +into office. Promises out of office are often the whale which only +produces the sprat of legislation when the time of fulfilment arrives. +This is an impartial opinion on most Cabinets of the last fifty years. + +One of the few occasions on which a recent British Government has +recently shown some signs of appreciating a really keen and capable man +was when they made Mr. Ellison Macartney, Master of the Mint. + +I wrote and congratulated him, observing that I hoped he would never be +short of money, but if that was his plight all he had to do was to coin +it for himself. + +I have a bad recollection for faces, and one day in Dublin his father +came up to me, and seeing I did not remember him, recalled a story with +which I had amused him in the lobby of the House of Commons. + +It was to this effect, and may prove new to others:-- + +Coming out of Glasgow one evening two Irishmen waylaid a Scotsman for +the sake of plunder. He was nearly enough for them both, but numbers +prevailed, and when they had mastered him, after searching his pockets, +they only found three halfpence. + +Said one Hibernian to the other:-- + +'Glory be to the Saints, Mick, what a fight he made for three +halfpence.' + +'Oh,' replied the other, 'it was the mercy of the Lord he had not +tuppence, or he'd have killed the pair of us.' + +Killing suggests the Kerry militia, the corps in which no one dies +except of good fellowship, one which has done a good deal to unite the +divergent interests of north and south Kerry, and which provides fine +physical development for soldiers of all ranks. + +Last year the militia received a grant of £120 from Government to be +expended on route marching with the band through the county in order to +promote recruiting. The net haul in the Milltown district was the +village idiot, who promised to enlist after the next sessions if the +jailer did not take him--he being apprehensive of committal to prison. + +But even this was not enough, for his mother came to a neighbouring +magistrate, weeping and praying for his remission, because-- + +'It was a drunken freak on Patrick, for if the lad had kept his senses, +sure, he would never have done it.' + +Another Kerry man being asked why his son did not enlist, replied:-- + +'Ah, Jamsie was not a big enough scamp for the militia, because you have +to be a great blackguard before you can get in there.' + +Which shows that the camel and needle's eye trick is easier to perform +than to induce a country-bred man to enlist in the King's militia; +though once in, every fellow loves it. + +This intimation of an army suggests an anecdote of the past war-time. +The militia was being embodied, and several landlords who held +commissions were going under canvas with the corps at Gosport. One of +his tenants stopped a popular landlord on the road and asked:-- + +'What do you want to go to be shot at by them Boers for, sir?' + +'To be sure, Tim, my tenants have the first right to shoot me, have they +not?' was the prompt reply. + +The fellow roared with laughter at the retort, and after shaking hands, +wished him luck. + +It was also characteristic of Irish proclivities for a soft-voiced woman +on the estate to say to Miss Leeson Marshall:-- + +'When the war broke out first we were all praying that the English might +be beaten out of South Africa. Then when Mr. Marshall went away to the +army, we thought we should not like his side to lose, so we changed our +prayers round by the blessing of God and His Saints.' + +If any real impression has been given in these pages of the inconsistent +Irish character, the genuine character of this sentiment will be +comprehensible. It has been said that an Irishman will tell the truth +about everything except one thing--that, of course, is a horse. When not +engaged in shooting his landlord, the tenant is by no means disaffected +to him, whilst the female appurtenances, mindful of all the small doles +they obtain, are much more voluble in their cordial protestations. + +Sometimes the women are enigmatical: one does not know if they are +acting out of kindness or from duplicity. For example, not so long ago a +girl came up to one of my daughters in the road and said to her:-- + +'For the love of God tell your mother to order your father's coffin for +he'll need it, the Saints preserve us.' + +And with that she started away before there was time to reply. + +Nothing came of it, of course: nothing ever has, of real importance. + +Nothing, alas, also seems so often to be the verdict on life when +looking back. Mine, however, has been too full a one, not only with +griefs and trials but also with happiness and fun, for me to dismiss it +thus. There has been so much more to live through than to write about, +and yet, in these pages, has been told something which would have gone +for ever untold if I had not in old age become garrulous. Things +forgotten have been recalled to my mind and may prove suggestive to +other people who read them, and it is my hope, in concluding, that I +have provided diversion and a little food for reflection. + +I feel that a critic may consider too much that has been set down here +is disconnected, yet if he will let a gramophone record an animated +conversation, he will find that it ebbs and flows with the uncertain +babbling of a brook--and so it has been with me. Only the other day, in +the preface to Camden's _History of the British Islands_, I came across +the phrase:-- + +'bookes receive their doome according to the reader's capacitie,' + +and that alone emboldens me to hope for some measure of success for the +present volume. Readers do not always want serious subjects, and it is +in an hour when they desire a little diversion that I hope my +reminiscences may commend themselves, for in a phrase not unknown in my +native Kerry, this book consists of 'little things, and that away.' + + +THE END + + + + +INDEX + + +Abbey of St. Denis, Paris, 79. +Abbeyfeale, 253, 259. +Abercorn, Duke of, 165. +Aberdeen, Earl of, 167-168. +---- Lady, 167-168. +Acts-- + Arrears, 183, 184, 197. + Crimes, 183, 262. + Encumbered Estate, 71. + Habeas Corpus Suspension, 225. + Irish Church, 44, 180-181. + Land, _see under_ Land. + Riot, 251. + Union, of, 180. + Westminster, of 1871, 251. +Adams, Mr. Gould, of Kilmachill, 207. +Aghabey, 83. +Aghadoe, 3, 95, 254. +Agriculture, Commission on, 268. +Albert, Prince, 163. +America, Irish dissatisfaction fostered in, 289; + Home Rulers in, 289-290. +Anderson, Rev. J.A., O.S.A., 99. +Ardfert, 3. +Argyll, Duke of, 174. +Ashbourne, Lord, 286. +Athenry, 171. +Avonmore, Lord, 12. + +Balfour, Mr. A.J., Chief Secretaryship of, 172-174. +---- Mr. Gerald, Chief Secretaryship of, 172-173. +---- of Burleigh, Lord, 274. +Ballincushlane, 121. +Ballot, effects of introduction, 194. +Bally M'Elligott, 6. +Ballybeggan, 4. +Ballybunion, 90. +Ballyporeen, Petty Sessions at, 164. +Ballyvourney parish, 71, +Bandon, Lord, 121. +Bantry, 13, 39, 52. +Barry, Lord Justice, 21-22, 216. +Barter, Dr., of Cork, 147. +Bartlett, Sir Ellis Ashmead, 112. +Batt, Father, 123-124. +Beaconsfield, Earl of, 122, 167. +'Beal-Bo,' 90-91. +Beaufort, fenianism in, 254. +Belfast, population of, 176. +Bernard, Mr. Edward Morrogh, 265-266. +---- Mrs. Morrogh, 265-266. +Bessborough, Earl of, 270. +Bewlay, Mr., 274. +Bianconi, Mr. Charles, 78. +Biggar, Mr., Parnell Commission on, 278-280. +Bishops, nomination of, 122. +Blarney, monument at, 116. +Blasquet Islands, Lord Cork's property in, 200. +Blennerhassett, Mr. Arthur, 258. +---- Mr. and Mrs. Robert, 3. +---- Mr. Roland, K.C., 95, 96. +Bodkin, Galway family of, 7. +Bogs, need for draining of, 141-142. +Bogue, Farmer, 32-34, 110. +Boycott, Captain, 213. +Boycotting, 213, 214, 249, 250; + Mr. Parnell on, 216-217. +Brady, Lord Chancellor, 75. +Breaing, value of land at, 259. +Bright Clauses, the, 82. +Bright, Mr. Jacob, 177. +---- Mr. John, 177. +Brown, Valentine, 3-4. +Buccleuch, Duke of, 268. +Buller, Sir Redvers, 157. +Burke, Mr. T.H., 252. +Burns, David, steward at Ardrum, 107. +Byrne, Mr., 89. + +Cadogan, Earl of, 169. +Cahirciveen, fenianism at, 66, 152; + drink traffic at, 113; + poverty of, 214. +Cahirnane, sale of, by Hussey family, 5. +Cairns, Lord, 122, 271. +Callaghan, Michael, 273. +Callinafercy estate, 144, 159. +Carden, Woodcock,' 255. +Carew Manuscript, the, 4. +Carlingford, Lord, Mr. Chichester Fortescue, 165, 169, 204, 268, 269. +Carlisle, Earl of, 162-163. +Carlton Club, 117, 188, 297. +Carlyle, Mr. Thomas, 283. +Carnarvon, Earl of, 167. +Cassini, Count, 291. +Castle Gregory, Walter Hussey, owned by, 4. +Castleisland, opposition to Mr. Hussey at, 84, 214, 215; + Mr. Dease assaulted at, 95; + drink traffic at, 102, 103. +Castle of Doon, ruins of, 91. +Castle-Drum, land owned by Hussey family at, 2. +Castlerosse, Lord, 153-154. +Cattle, outrages on, 220-221. +Cavanagh, Mr., 152. +---- Mrs., 152-153. +Cavendish, Lord Frederick, 174, 252. +Chamberlain, Mr. Joseph, 86, 165, 175. +Characteristics of Irish nature, 140-161. +Charlestown, Land League outrage at, 253. +Chatelherault, dukedom of, claimed by Duke of Abercorn, 165. +Chief Secretaries-- + Balfour, Mr. A.J., 172-173. + ---- Mr. Gerald, 172-173. + Forster, Mr. W.E., 170-173. + Fortescue, Mr. Chichester (Lord Carlingford), 169. + Lowther, Mr. James, 172, 174. + Morley, Mr. John, 175. + Naas, Lord, 169. + Peel, Sir Robert, 169, 170. + Trevelyan, Sir George, 174-175. +Childers, Mr., Royal Commission, on, 181, 284. +Christian, Lord Justice, 83, 89. +Clare, Earl of (Col. Fitzgibbon), 164. +Clarendon, Earl of, 163. +Clergy-- + Protestant, 120-122. + Roman Catholic, 115-120. +Clonbrook, Lord, 287. +Clonmel, Earl of, 287. +Cobbe, Miss, 57, 177. +Coffey, Bishop, 119. +---- Denis, 257. +Colthurst, Sir George, 38, 49, 96; + Ballyvourney, estate of, 208; + Rathcole estate, outrages on, 212. +Commissions on Land Question, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 268-280; + Parnell case, 275-280. +Connor, Jeremiah, 245. +---- Thomas, 245. +Constabulary, the, 127-132. +Conway, Captain, 3. +---- Miss Avis (Mrs. Robert Blennerhassett), 3. +Corelli, Miss Marie, 98. +Cork and Orrery, Earl of, 199, 200, 218. +_Cork Constitutional_, Edenburn outrage, on the, 239-240. +---- _Examiner_, the, 96, 97, 244. +Corkaquiny, barony of, castles of the Hussey family in, 2. +Corn Law question, 51. +Corragun, Sir Dominic, 132. +County Club, Cork, 49. +---- ---- Tralee, 97, 111, 242. +Cowen, Mr. Joseph, 204. +Cowper, Earl, 166; + Commission of, on Land Act, 271-272. +Cox, Sir William, 13. +Creameries, establishment of, 161. +Crime in Kerry, Judge O'Brien on, 229-234. +Crosbie, Bishop John, 3. +---- Colonel, 229. +Cruickshank family, the, 261. +Curraghila, land value at, 259. + +_Daily Telegraph_, the, 222, 255. +Daly, Cornelius, Denis, and John, 245. +Davitt, Mr. Michael, 202, 260, 277, 278, 291. +De Bruce, Edward, 13. +De Freyne case, 118. +De Huse, Herbert, 6. +---- or Hussy, Nicholas, 6. +De la Huse, family name of Hussey, 6. +De Lacy, Hugh, Earl of Ulster, 6. +Dease, Mr., assault on, 95, 97. +---- Sir Gerald, 95. +Deasy, Lord Justice, 83. +Delane, Anne, 272. +Denny, Edmund, 3. +---- family, 8. +---- Miss, the 'Princess Royal,' 8. +---- Mr. Francis, 155. +Derby, Lord, Land League, threats from, 40; + Archbishop Magee, opinion of, 44; + anecdote of, 296. +Derrynane Bay, smuggling at, 24. +Desmond, Countess of, 282. +Devonshire, Duke of, 269. +Dillon, Mr., 79. +Dillwyn, Mr., 94. +Dinan, Jeremiah, 245. +Dingle, Hussey family settled at, 2; + present day, 5, 6; + yeomanry corps of, 14; + poverty of, 214. +Dispensaries, 135-139. +Doctors, dispensary, appointment of, 132. +Dolly's Brae, Orange procession at, 163. +Don, the O'Conor, 270. +Doneghan, Mr., 42-43. +Donelly, Mr. William, 52. +Donoughmore, Lady, 8. +Donovan, Sir Henry, 99. +Douglas, Mr., 57. +Downing, Miss Ellen, 'Mary,' 63. +---- Mr., 292. +Dowse, Baron, land purchase, opinion on, 205; + boycotting on, 214; + Grand Jury of Kerry, address to, 261; + commission on the Land Law, on, 270. +Doyle family, 250. +Drink, prevalence of, 101-114. +Dublin, population of, 176. +Dudley, Lord, 169. +Dufferin, Lord, 185. +Duffy, Mr. Charles Gavan, 100. +Dun, Mr. Finlay, 192-193, 207, 209. +Dunraven, Lord, 173, 271. + +Edenburn, home of Mr. Hussey at, 73, 80-81; + outrage at, 235-247. +Egan, Patrick, 291. +Elections in Kerry, description of, 93-100. +Emigration, agents' treatment of emigrants, 57; + American offer to, 57-58. +Emmett, Robert, 156. +Engineering Surveyors' Institution, 42. +Erne, Lord, 213. +Esmonde, Sir Thomas, 294. +Evictions, number of, on Lord Kenmare's estate, 221. + +Faith, Mr. George, 46. +Famine, the, 50-59. +Farms, sub-divisions of, 36. +Farranfore, evictions at, 251. +Fenianism, 60-70. +FitzGerald, family of, 3. +---- Lady (Miss Julia Hussey), 16. +---- Mr., member of Land Commission, 274. +---- Mrs., 173. +---- Mrs. Robert (Miss Ellen Hussey), 16. +---- Richard, 245. +---- Sir Peter (Knight of Kerry), 16. +Fitzpatrick, Sir Denis, 189. +FitzWalter, Theobald, 6. +Flaherty, Tim, 48. +Forster, Mr. Arnold, 171. +---- Mr. W.E., Chief Secretary, 163, 169, 170-172; + criticism, sensitiveness to, 211; + quoted, 216. +Free Trade, 51, 299. +_Freeman_, the, 96. +French, Mr., 222. +Froude, Mr. J.A., Mr. Hussey and, + friendship between, 5, 177, 227, 282-285. +Fry Commission, the, 185, 272. +---- Sir Edward, 272. + +Gadstone and Ellis, Messrs., 258. +Generals, famous Irish, 156-157. +Gentleman, Mr. Goodman, 82. +---- Mr. Henry, 24.5. +Geraldine family, the, 192. +Gladstone, Mr.-- + Irish emigration, attitude towards, 58. + Legislation, effects of, 60-61, 67, 108, 131, 179-193. + Letter to, from Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, 258-259. + Mr. Hussey and, 84, 177-178. + Mr. W.E. Forster and, 170, 171. + Nationalist party, attitude towards, 195-196. +---- Mrs., anecdotes of, 45, 287. +Glasgow, morality of, 36. +_Globe_, the, 256. +Godfrey, Dowager Lady, 73. +---- Sir John, 154, 155. +Gough, Lord, 157. +Granard, Earl of, 118, 259. +Grant, Mr., 193. +Granville, Earl, 165. +Graves, Mr., 48. +Griffin, Andrew, 264. +Guest, Sir Ivor, 166. +Guillamore, Chief Baron, 160. +Gull, Mr., 132. + +Haggerty, Jeremiah, outrage on, 217. +Harenc estate, the, bought by Mr. Samuel Hussey, 82-92, 278; + Land Act, effect on, 274. +Harenc, Mr., death of, 82. +Harnett, Mr., 251. +Harrington, Mr. T., 263-264, 294. +Harris, Mr. Matthew, 251. +Headley, Lord, 254, 255. +Henry, Mr. Mitchell, 204. +Herbert family, the, 5. +---- Mr. Charles, 3. +---- Mr. A.E., 252, 255; + murder of, 226-227. +---- Mr. William, 3. +Hewson, Mr., 84. +Hickson, Captain John,' Sovereign of Dingle,' anecdote of, 13-14. +---- Colonel, 273. +---- Mr., 79. +Hickson, Mr. Robert, 13. +---- Mrs., 53. +---- Mrs. Judith, 15. +Higgins, Bishop, 119. +Hitchcock, Mr., 6. +Hoffman, tenant of Mr. Hussey, case of, 273. +Hogan, William, 245. +Hogg, Mr., 21. +Home Rule Bill, 282, 287, 297. +---- ---- Party, the, 194-195. +---- Rulers, Irish-American, 289-290. +Hore, Mr., house and haggards of, burnt, 4. +Houghton, Lord, 168-169. +Howorth, Sir Henry, 285-286. +Huddard's School at Dublin, 20-21. +Huddleston, Mr. Henry, house of, burnt, 4. +Husse, Sir Hugh, 6. +Hussey, origin of name, 6. +---- Colonel Maurice, 5-6, 100. +---- Miss Anne, 19. +---- ---- Clarissa, 126. +---- ---- Mary, 16. +---- Mr. Edward, 16. +---- ---- James, 15-16, 19. +---- ---- John, brother of Mr. Samuel, 15. +---- ---- ---- son of Mr. Samuel, 16. +---- ---- Maurice, 16, 253, 297. +---- ---- Michael, M.P. for Dingle, 7. +---- ---- 'Red Precipitate,' 10, 12, 15. +---- ---- Robert, 16. +---- ---- Samuel, M., parentage of, 10-12; + early life and education of, 20-29; + farming, 30-37; + land agent in Cork, 38 _et seq._; + to Colthurst property, 71; + candidature of, for Parliament, 96, 98; + Irish Land Act Commission, evidence before, 205-206, 268-280; + press criticisms of, 209-210, 248, 255, 256, 275; + Land Leaguers, threats from, 214, 224, 235-247; + Edenburn outrage, 235-247; + 'Woodcock,' 255; + land sales, series of, letter to the _Times_ regarding, 259; + _Times_, letter to, _re_ Mr. Harrington, 263-264; + Parnell Commission, evidence before, 276-280; + Froude, friendship with, 282-285; + Sir Henry Howorth, friendship with, 285-286; + Protection, opinion on, 297-299. +---- ---- Walter, 4. +Hussey, Mrs. (Miss Mary Hickson), 53; + descent of, 12-13. +---- ---- Samuel (Miss Julia Agnes Hickson), 13. +---- Sir John, Earl of Galtrim, 6. + + +Inch East and Ardroe, 258. +---- Island, 258. +Industries, 142. +Inniscarra, 38. +_Irish Citizen_, the, 248. +Irish Land Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 205, 270-275. +Iveragh, barony of, 18. + +Jeffreys, Mr., 49. +Jenkinson, Mr., 246. +Jenner, Mr., 132. +Johnson, Judge, 83. + +Kanturk, 108. +Keagh, Judge, anecdote of, 87-88; + opinion of Irishmen, 130. +Kellegher, Mr. Jerry, anecdotes of, 10-12. +Kellehers, the, 88. +Kelly, Miss Mary, 'Eva,' 63. +Kenmare family, the, 3. +---- Earl of, succession to title, 95; + expenditure on estate improvements, 152, 196, 209, 221; + anecdote of, 153; + criticisms of, 209, 255; + House of Commons, debate on estate of, 221; + departure from Ireland, 224. +---- district, poverty of, 214. +Kerry, population, etc., of, 36-37; + clergy and churches in, 119 +_Kerry Sentinel_, Edenburn outrage, on the, 240. +Kilcockan parish, land value in, 193. +Kilcoleman, woods of, 155. +Kildare Street Club, 49. +Killarney, crime in, 66, 214. +---- House, home of Lord Kenmare, 115, 209. +Killeentierna House, home of Mr. A. Herbert, 226. +---- parish, church revenue of, 121. +Killiney parish, property of Hussey family in, 4. +Killorglin, Puck Fair at, 95, 104, 105; + voting at, 294. +Kilmainham gaol, 68. +Kilronan, evictions at, 258. +Kimberley, Earl of (Lord Wodehouse), 164, 165. +Kitchener, Lord, 157. + +Laing, Mr., M.P. for Orkney, 198-199, 200. +Land Acts, Wyndham, the, 40, 41, 58, 187-188, 192; + Ashbourne, the, 41, 264; + Balfour's, of 1896, 84; + Gladstone's, of 1870, 181, 185-186; + of 1881, 71, 181-189; + effects of, 196-200, 274, 282. +Land League-- + Church and, 118. + Effects of, 199-200, 202, 208. + Outrages of, 199, 212-222, 246, 248, 267. +Le Fanu, Mr. W.R., 77. +----Mr. Sheridan, 77. +Leary, Darby, 245. +Lecky, Mr., 100, 283. +Leehys, the, feud of, 88. +Lefevre, Mr. Shaw, Commission of, 269. +Lehunt, Colonel, 4. +Leinster, Duchess of, 169. +Leitrim, Lord, 226. +Limerick, Mr. Hogg's school at, 21. +Lismore, famine fever at, 54; + agricultural depression in, 193; + estate of Duke of Devonshire at, 269-270. +Listowel, crime in, 87, 214. +Lloyd, Mr. Clifford, 128. +Lockwood, Mr. Frank, 277. +Logue, Dr., Archbishop of Armagh, 118. +Lombard and Murphy, Messrs., 83. +Londonderry, Marquis of, 168. +Longfield, Judge, 258. +Longford, clerical help for Lord Granard in, 118. +Lord-Lieutenants-- + Abercorn, Duke of, 165. + Aberdeen, Earl of, 167-168. + Cadogan, Earl of, 169. + Carlisle, Earl of, 162-163. + Carnarvon, Earl of, 167. + Clarendon, Earl of, 163. + Cowper, Earl, 166. + Dudley, Earl of, 169. + Houghton, Lord, 168-169. + Kimberley, Earl of, 164. + Londonderry, Marquis of, 168. + Marlborough, Duke of, 165-166. + Spencer, Earl, 166-167. + Zetland, Earl of, 168. +Lower Curryglass, agricultural depression in, 193. +Lowther, Mr. James, 172, 174, 297. +Lucy, Mary, letters of, to Mr. Hussey, 292-293. +Luxnow, 83. + +Macaulay, Dr., 117. +Macartney, Mr. Ellison, 299. +MacCarthy, Bishop, 119. +---- Florence, 4. +---- Mr., 115. +MacCarty, Mr. Daniel, 18. +MacGregor, Sir Duncan, 128. +Magee, Archbishop, 35, 44-45. +Magheries, the, owned by the Hussey family, 4. +Maguire, Mr., M.P. for Cork, 43. +Mahaffy, Prof., 252. +_Manchester Guardian_ on the Edenburn outrage, 238-239. +Marlborough, Duchess of, 206. +---- Duke of, 165-166, 297. +Marriage customs, 142-146. +Marshall, Miss Leeson, 301. +---- Mr. Leeson, 144, 159, 206; + anecdote of, 301. +Martin, Miss, books of, 30. +---- Mr. Richard, M.P., 55. +---- Mr. Robert, 274. +Mason, John, 245. +Matthew, Father, 61, 101-102. +Maynooth, 116, 118, 122, 180. +M'Calmont, Captain, 261. +M'Carthy, Mr. Justin, 264. +M'Cowan, Mr., of Tralee, 220. +M'Elligott, John, 245. +Merry, Mr. Andrew, 120. +Milnes, Mr. Monckton, 168. +Millstreet, crime in, 217, 222. +Milltown, voting at, 295. +---- Fair, price of cattle at, 273. +Minard Castle, 4. +Minerals, 142. +Mitchel, Mr. John, 55, 64. +Monaghan, Chief Justice, 87. +Monk, Lord, 94. +Monsell, Hon. Mrs., 65. +Moore, Mr. Crosbie, 164-165. +Moriarty, Dr., Bishop of Killarney, 66, 67, 119. +Morley, Mr., 170, 175-176, 177, 178. +_Morning Post_, 291. +Morris, Lord, anecdotes of, 69, 76, 87, 137, 167-168, 170, 254-255, 288. +---- Mr. Edward, 111-112. +Mountmorres, Lord, 226. +Moynihar, Michael, 245. +Muckross, 5, 166. +Müller, Prof. Max, 131. +Mullins, Miss, 8. +Murder, encouragement of, 227-228. +Murphy, Cornelius, murder of, 231. +---- Mr., 88. +---- Patrick, of Rath, case of, 222. +Murray, George, 13. +---- Judith, 13. +---- Mrs. William (Miss Anne Grainger), 13. +---- ---- (Miss Ann Hornswell), 13. +---- Sir Walter, Lord of Drumshegrat, 12. +---- Mr. William, 13. +_Murray's Magazine_, 297. + +Naas, Lord, 169. +---- posting arrangements at, 31. +Nagle, Mr., 46-47. +Nason family, 193. +National League Police, 250. +Nationalists, the, 196. +Neill, Daniel, 245. +Neligan, John, 245. +_New York Tablet_, the, 210. +Nicoll, Mrs., 241. +Nield, Mr., 253. +Nolan, Mr., of Ballinderry, 55. +Normanton, Lord, 259. + +O'Brien, Judge, address to Grand Jury on state of Kerry, 228-234. +---- Smith, 64-65. +O'Connell, Mr. Daniel, anecdotes of, 10, 160; + family of, 24-25. +---- ---- ---- (junior), 152. +---- ---- John, 25. +---- ---- Morgan, 24. +---- ---- Philip, anecdote of, 48. +---- Mrs., 78. +---- Sir James, 25-26. +O'Connor, Father M., 92. +---- Fergus, anecdote of, 76. +---- Mr. T.P., 62. +O'Conor Don, the, 270. +O'Donnell _v._ the _Times_, 274. +O'Donoghue, Rev. Denis, 96. +---- the, 221; + election of, 98-99. +O'Hagan, Lord, 89. +Oliver, Colonel, 199. +Ormsby, Judge, 82, 83. +O'Shaughnessy, Mr., 273. +O'Shea, Daniel, 210, 255. +O'Sullivan, James, 245. + +Palmer, Mr., 294. +Parliament, Irish Members of, 194 _et seq._ +Parnell Commission, 68, 104, 275-280. +---- Mr., fenian leadership of, 65, 156; + Lord Carnarvon and, 167; + Land League and, 195, 202, 216; + speech quoted on boycotting, 249. +Parnellism and crime, 275. +Peel, Sir Robert, 51, 76. +---- ---- ---- (the younger), 169. +Pembroke, Earl of, 271. +Phoenix Park murder, the, 252. +---- Society, the, 65. +Pigott, Richard, 275-276. +Pitt, Mr. William, 180. +Plunkett, Mr. T.O., 222. +---- Sir Horace, 161. +Price, Professor Bohnamy, 268. +Protection, Mr. Hussey on, 297-299. +Puck Fair, 95, 104-105. +Punchestown, 296. + +Quill, Patrick, 273. + +Ray, Mr. Jack, anecdote of, 154-155. +Regiura Donum, Presbyterian grant, 180. +Reid, Mr., 277. +----Sir Wemyss, 171, 211. +Reynolds, Alderman John, 75-76. +----John, 245. +Richmond and Gordon, Duke of, 204, 268. +Roberts, Earl, 157. +Roche, Mr. R., 240. +Roden, Lord, 163. +Ronayne, Mr. Joseph, M.P. for Cork, 46. +Rosebery, Earl of, 171. +Ross, Judge, 41. +Rossa, O'Donovan, 65. +Rossbeigh, Land League at, 266. +Royal Commission on Agriculture, 204. +Russell, Lord John, 51, 163. +----Sir Charles, 276-277. + +Sadler, Colonel, 4. +Saint Alban's, Holborn, Church of, 122. +Saint Anne's, Soho, Church of, 34. +Saint James's Club, 57. +Salisbury, Lord, Commission on Land Act of 1881, 271. +Sandes, Mr., 97. +Savings Banks, increase of deposits, 191. +Saxe, Marshal, anecdote of, 62-63. +Schoolmasters, appointment of, 133. +Scottish character, 35-36. +Scully, Mr., 94. +Sexton, Mr., 222. +Shaftesbury, Lord, 122. +Shanahan, Robert, 151. +----Thomas, 245. +Shaw, Mr., 270. +Sheehan, Mr., 252. +Sheehy, Father, 252. +Shiel, Sir George, 122. +Smerwick Harbour, 2. +Smith, Mr. Charles, historian, 2, 6. +----Sidney, 136. +Somerville, Miss, 30. +Spencer, Lord, anecdote of, 166-167; + Land Act, opinion on, 203; + Coercion Act, opinion on, 225. +Spiddal, 137. +Standford, Mr., 99. +Stansfield, Lord, 204. +_Star_ newspaper, 275. +Stephen, Sir James, quoted, 250-251. +Stevens, Captain, 110. +Stephens, James, 'Number One,' 65, 68, 156. +Stuart, Mr., 258, +Sullivan, Sir Edward, 166. +_Sunday Democrat_ newspaper, 255. + +Tanner, Dr., 112. +Thackeray, William Makepeace, 78. +Thorneycroft, Colonel, 16. +_Times_ newspaper, the-- + Edenburn outrage, on the, 239, 242-243. + Encumbered Estate Act, quoted on, 71. + Mr. Hussey's letter to, on land values, 259; + Lord Kenmare's estate, 221. + O'Donnell _v._, 274-275. + Parnell Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 276-280. +Traill, Dr. Anthony, 272. +Tralee, drink traffic in, 113. + --County Club, 97, 111, 242. +Trant family, the, 107. +Trench, Mr. Steuart, famine described by, 50-51. + ----Townshend, 17, 277. +Trevelyan, Sir George, 174-175. +Trinity College, Dublin, 117. +Tucker, Sir Charles, 157. +Tulla, outrage at, 171, 216. +Tullamore, Mr. Forster's speech at, 216. +Tweedmouth, Lord, 167. +Tynan, 'Number One,' 65, 156. + +Union Club, 246. +_United Ireland_ newspaper, 244, 249, 251. +University, Roman Catholic, for Ireland, + Mr. Hussey's opinion regarding, 116-117. + +Ventry Harbour, 2, 4. +---- Lady, famine, help in, 53, 54. +---- Lord, 46. + +Wallace, Mr. Paul, 48. +Walsh, Dr., Archbishop of Dublin, 118. +Wellington, Duke of, 157, 163. +White, Mr. Richard, of Inchiclogh, 55. +---- Sir George, 157. +Whiteboys, 14, 61-62. +Whiteside, Chief Justice, 89. +Wilde, Lady, 'Speranza,' 63. +---- Oscar, 63. +Winn, Mr., 255. +Wolseley, Lord, 157, 283. +Wrench, Mr., 274. +Wright, Mr. Huntley, quoted, 101. +'Wuffalo Will,' 64. +Wyndham, Mr., 58, 129. + +York, Duke of, 173. +Youghal, 193. +Young Ireland Party, 63. +---- Mr., 99. + +Zetland, Earl of, 168. + + +Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE Printers to His Majesty +at the Edinburgh University Press + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reminiscences of an Irish Land +Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + +***** This file should be named 16450-8.txt or 16450-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/4/5/16450/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + diff --git a/16450-8.zip b/16450-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..752d14a --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-8.zip diff --git a/16450-h.zip b/16450-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3e04de --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h.zip diff --git a/16450-h/16450-h.htm b/16450-h/16450-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..342faaa --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h/16450-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,11591 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?> +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .pagenum {position: absolute; left: 92%; font-size: smaller; text-align: right;} /* page numbers */ + .sidenote {width: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; margin-left: 1em; + float: right; clear: right; margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; background: #eeeeee; border: dashed 1px;} + + .bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + .bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + .br {border-right: solid 2px;} + .bbox {border: solid 2px;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span {display: block; margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4em;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent + +Author: S.M. Hussey + +Editor: Home Gordon + +Release Date: August 5, 2005 [EBook #16450] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<a name="SMHUSSEY" id="SMHUSSEY" /><p><a name="Page_-6" id="Page_-6" /></p> + <a href="images/image01.jpg"> + <img src="images/image01_thumb.jpg" alt="S.M. Hussey" title="S.M. Hussey" /> + </a> +<p class="figcenter">S.M. Hussey<br /><br /><br /></p> +</div> + +<h1> <a name="Page_-5" id="Page_-5" />THE REMINISCENCES</h1> +<h2>OF AN</h2> +<h1>IRISH LAND AGENT<br /><br /></h1> + +<h3>BEING THOSE OF</h3> +<h2>S.M. HUSSEY<br /><br /></h2> + +<h5><i>Compiled by</i></h5> +<h4>HOME GORDON<br /><br /></h4> + + +<h5>WITH TWO PORTRAITS<br /></h5> + + +<h4>LONDON</h4> +<h5><i>DUCKWORTH AND COMPANY</i><br /> +3 HENRIETTA STREET, W.C.<br /> +<br /> +1904<br /> +Edinburgh: T. and A. CONSTABLE, Printers to His Majesty<a name="Page_-4" id="Page_-4" /></h5> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE" />PREFACE<a name="Page_-3" id="Page_-3" /></h2> + + +<p>Probably the first criticism on this book will be that it is colloquial.</p> + +<p>The reason for this lies in the fact that though Mr. Hussey has for two +generations been one of the most noted raconteurs in Ireland, he has +never been addicted to writing, and for that reason has always declined +to arrange his memoirs, though several times approached by publishers +and strongly urged to do so by his friends, notably Mr. Froude and Mr. +John Bright. If his reminiscences are to be at all characteristic they +must be conversational, and it is as a talker that he himself at length +consents to appear in print.</p> + +<p>In this volume he endeavours to supply some view of his own country as +it has impressed itself on 'the most abused man in Ireland,' as Lord +James of Hereford characterised Mr. Hussey. How little practical effect +several attacks on his life and scores of threatening letters have had +on him is shown by the fact that he survives at the age of eighty to +express the wish that his recollections may open the eyes of many as +well as prove diverting.</p> + +<p>Possessing a retentive memory, he has been further able to assist me +with seven large volumes of newspaper cuttings which he had collected +since 1853, while the publishers kindly permit the use of two articles +he contributed to <i>Murray's Magazine</i> in May and July 1887. To me the +preparation of this book has been a delightful task, materially helped +by Mr. Hussey's family as well as by a few others on either side of the +Channel.<a name="Page_-2" id="Page_-2" /></p> + +<p>HOME GORDON.</p> + +<p>13 OVINGTON SQUARE, S.W.</p> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS" /><a name="Page_-1" id="Page_-1" />CONTENTS</h2> + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<p> + +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><a href="#PREFACE"><b>PREFACE</b></a></span><br /> +<br />CHAP.<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_I"><b>I. ANCESTRY</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_II"><b>II. PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_III"><b>III. EDUCATION</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_IV"><b>IV. FARMING</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_V"><b> V. LAND AGENT IN CORK</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_VI"><b> VI. FAMINE AND FEVER</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_VII"><b> VII. FENIANISM</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_VIII"><b> VIII. MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_IX"><b> IX. THE HARENC ESTATE</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_X"><b> X. KERRY ELECTIONS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XI"><b> XI. DRINK</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XII"><b> XII. PRIESTS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XIII"><b> XIII. CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XIV"><b> XIV. IRISH CHARACTERISTICS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XV"><b> XV. LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XVI"><b> XVI. GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XVII"><b> XVII. THE STATE OF KERRY</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII"><b> XVIII. A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XIX"><b> XIX. MURDER, OUTRAGE, AND CRIME</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XX"><b> XX. THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XXI"><b> XXI. MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XXII"><b> XXII. COMMISSIONS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII"><b> XXIII. LATER DAYS</b></a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"> <a href="#INDEX"><b>INDEX</b></a></span><br /><br /> + </p> +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + + + +<h4>ILLUSTRATIONS</h4> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><a href="#SMHUSSEY">PORTRAIT OF S.M. HUSSEY</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><a href="#MRSHUSSEY">PORTRAIT OF MRS. HUSSEY</a></span><br /><br /><br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="REMINISCENCES_OF_AN_IRISH_LAND_AGENT" id="REMINISCENCES_OF_AN_IRISH_LAND_AGENT" />REMINISCENCES OF AN IRISH LAND AGENT<a name="Page_1" id="Page_1" /></h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I" />CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h4>ANCESTRY</h4> + + +<p>'My father and mother were both Kerry men,' as the saying goes in my +native land, and better never stepped.</p> + +<p>It was my misfortune, but not my fault, that I was born at Bath and not +in Kerry.</p> + +<p>However, my earliest recollection is of Dingle, for I was only three +months old when I was taken back to Ireland, and up to that time I did +not study the English question very deeply, especially as I had an Irish +nurse.</p> + +<p>There is a lot of Hussey history before I was born, and some is worth +preserving here.</p> + +<p>It is a thousand pities that so many details of family history have been +lost, and to my mind it is incumbent on one member of every reasonably +old family in this generation to collect and set down what should be +remembered about their ancestors for the unborn to come.</p> + +<p>My contribution does not profess to be very exhaustive, but it will +serve for want of a better.</p> + +<p>When a man claims to be descended from Irish kings, it generally means +that his forbears were bigger scoundrels than he is, for they were +cattle-lifters and marauders, whilst his depredations are probably +disguised under some of the many insidious forms of finance. Just as +every Scotsman is not canny and every American is not cute, so every +Irishman is not what the Saxon believes him to be. But there can be +little doubt what type of men these ancient Irish sovereigns were, and I +regretfully confess I cannot trace my descent from them.<a name="Page_2" id="Page_2" /></p> + +<p>The family of Hussey was of English extraction, according to that rather +valuable book <i>The Antient and Present State of the County of Kerry</i>, by +Charles Smith, 1756—the companion volumes dealing with Cork and +Waterford are much less precious. Personally I always understood that +the Husseys hailed from Normandy, as will be seen a few pages on, but +tradition on such a point is not of much value.</p> + +<p>Anyway the family of Hussey settled in very early times at Dingle, and +also had several lands and castles in the barony of Corkaquiny.</p> + +<p>Dingle was the only town in this barony, and it was incorporated by +Queen Elizabeth in 1585, when she granted it the same privileges which +were enjoyed by Drogheda, with a superiority over the harbours of Ventry +and Smerwick. The Virgin Sovereign also presented the town with £300 for +the purpose of making a wall round it.</p> + +<p>The Irish formerly called Dingle Daingean in Cushy, or the fastness of +the Husseys. One of the FitzGeralds, Earl of Desmond, had granted to an +ancestor of my own a considerable tract of land in these parts, namely, +from Castle-Drum to Dingle, or as others say, he gave him as much as he +could walk over in his jackboots in one day. That Hussey built a castle, +said to be the first erected at Dingle, the vaults of which were +afterwards used as the county gaol.</p> + +<p>There is mention of this in the grant of a charter to Dingle by King +James I. in the fourth year of his reign: 'The house of John Hussey +granted for a gaol and common hall to the corporation.'<a name="Page_3" id="Page_3" /></p> + +<p>A grim interest lurks in the fact that the dedication of Smith's +<i>History</i> to Lord Newport, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, recites that +'this Kingdom, my lord, is a kind of Terra Incognita to the greater part +of Europe.'</p> + +<p>Is it not so to this day?</p> + +<p>Do I not meet scores of people who tell me they would love to go to +Kerry, but they have never been nearer than Killarney.</p> + +<p>That is the sort of speech which makes me wonder how geography is +taught.</p> + +<p>It is on a par with the remark of a prominent Arctic explorer, that he +had never been to Killarney because it was so far off.</p> + +<p>People, however, who go there apparently like it.</p> + +<p>The chief Elizabethan settlers in Kerry were William and Charles +Herbert, Valentine Brown, ancestor of the Kenmares, Edmund Denny, and +Captain Conway, whose daughter Avis married Robert Blennerhasset, while +a little later, in 1600, John Crosbie was made Bishop of Ardfert and +Aghadoe.</p> + +<p>To-day the descendants of those settlers are still among the principal +folk in Kerry, though that is more due to their own selves than to the +support they had from any British Government.</p> + +<p>This Valentine Brown, who was a worshipful and valiant knight, wrote a +discourse for settling Munster in 1584. His plan was to exterminate the +FitzGeralds and to protestantise Ireland; but by the irony of fate his +own son married a daughter of the Earl of Desmond and became a Roman +Catholic.</p> + +<p>In the Carew Manuscript it is recorded that he estimated that one +constable and six men would suffice for Cork, but for Ventry, 'a large +harbour near Dingle,' one constable and fifty men were necessary; so he +evidently had a clear apprehension of the villainous capabilities of the +men of Kerry.<a name="Page_4" id="Page_4" /></p> + +<p>It is also recorded that in the parish of Killiney is a stronghold +called Castle Gregory, which before the wars of 1641 was possessed by +Walter Hussey, who was proprietor of the Magheries and Ballybeggan. +Having a considerable party under his command, he made a garrison of his +castle, whence having been long pressed by Cromwell's forces, he escaped +in the night with all his men, and got into Minard Castle, in which he +was closely beset by Colonels Lehunt and Sadler. After some time had +been spent, the English observing that the besieged were making use of +pewter bullets, powder was laid under the vaults of the castle, and both +Walter Hussey and his men were blown up.</p> + +<p>Prior to this, 'on January 31, 1641, Walter Hussey, with Florence +MacCarthy and others, attacked Ballybeggan Castle, plundered and burnt +the house of Mr. Henry Huddleston, and did the same to the house and +haggards of Mr. Hore, where they built an engine called a saw, having +its three sides made musket-proof with boards. It was drawn on four +wheels, each a foot high, with folding doors to open inwards and several +loopholes to shoot through, without a floor, so that ten or twelve men +who went therein might drive it forwards. These machines were set +against castle walls whilst the men within them attempted to make a +breach with crows and pickaxes.'</p> + +<p>Infernal machines are, after all, not confined to our own times, and +this same rascally ancestor of my own appears to have had predatory +habits more likely to be appreciated by his followers than by his foes.<a name="Page_5" id="Page_5" /></p> + + +<p>Dingle is now a somewhat dilapidated town, but that was not always the +case, for it is mentioned in my dear old friend Froude's <i>History of +England</i> that the then Earl of Desmond called on the ambassador of +Charles V. at his lodgings in Dingle. The old records of the place would +be worth diligent antiquarian research, a matter even more difficult in +Ireland than elsewhere. Should all be brought to light, I fancy the part +played by my family would not grow smaller.</p> + +<p>The Husseys spread away over the county, after having their lands +forfeited under both Elizabeth and Cromwell, which was the most +respectable thing to suffer in those times. In the reign of Queen Anne, +Colonel Maurice Hussey sold Cahirnane to the Herberts, and there is a +garden still called Hussey's Garden in the property. He built a mortuary +chapel for himself on the top of a small hill just outside the gates of +Muckross, where his own grave near that beautiful abbey can be seen to +this day.</p> + +<p>This Colonel Maurice Hussey resided for some time in England, and +appears to have married an English lady; and it is odd that though a +Roman Catholic he was trusted by the Governments of both William and +Anne. There seems to have been something versatile about his rather +mysterious career, the key to which may be found in the surmise that +until the accession of King George he was a Jacobite at heart; which +throws some doubt on his assertion in a letter that there are very few +Tories—or outlaws—in Kerry, where the Whig rule was never enforced +with great severity. He was, however, committed to 'Trally jail' (<i>i.e.</i> +Tralee) on the fear of a landing by the Pretender, whence he wrote +pleading letters, in one of which he mentions that his son-in-law, +MacCartie, has taken the oaths of abjuration; and later, when released, +he seems to have been disturbed at the large number of German +Protestants, driven out of the Palatinate by Louis the Fourteenth, who +settled at Bally M'Elligott.<a name="Page_6" id="Page_6" /></p> + +<p>Any one who rambles about Dingle and investigates the older buildings, +so carefully examined by Mr. Hitchcock, will notice how frequent is the +emblem of a tree; and that is a conspicuous feature of the Hussey +armorial bearings.</p> + +<p>With reference to the allusions made in Smith's book to my ancestors, it +may be pointed out that he repeated the popular tradition at the very +time when the Husseys, like the rest of their fellow Catholics all over +the country, were disinherited and depressed, and when he could gain +nothing by doing them honour.</p> + +<p>As for my name, it seems to have really been Norman, and to have been De +La Huse, De La Hoese, and later Husee, Huse, and, finally, Hussey.</p> + +<p>Burke in his extinct <i>Peerage</i> states that Sir Hugh Husse came to +Ireland, 17 Hen. II., and married the sister of Theobald FitzWalter, +first Butler of Ireland, and that he died seized of large possessions in +Meath. His son married the daughter of Hugh de Lacy, senior Earl of +Ulster, and their great-grandson, Sir John Hussey, Knight, first Earl of +Galtrim, was summoned to Parliament in 1374.</p> + +<p>Moreover, the State Papers in the Public Record Office, quoted in the +<i>Journal of the Royal Society of Irish Antiquaries</i> for September 1893, +p. 266, prove beyond question that Nicholas de Huse or Hussy and his +father, Herbert de Huse, were land-owners of some importance in Kerry in +1307. Stirring times they must have been, of which we have no fiction +under the guise of history, though then men had to fight hard to +preserve their lives and maintain their dignity. We can imagine the +tussle, even in these degenerate days when no challenge follows the +exchange of insults, even in the House of Commons, and when the +perpetration of the most cowardly outrage in Ireland has to be induced +by preliminary potations of whisky. Of course, those old times were bad +times, but the badness was at least above board and the warfare pretty +stoutly waged. There is some sense in fighting your foe hand to hand, +but to-day when a battle is contested by armies which never see one +another, and are decimated by silent bullets, the courage needed is of a +different character, and the wicked murder of such combats is obvious.<a name="Page_7" id="Page_7" /></p> + +<p>But let us quit war and confiscation for the equally stormy region known +as politics, wherein it may be noted that in 1613 Michael Hussey was +Member of Parliament for Dingle.</p> + +<p>Now for a coincidence in Christian names.</p> + +<p>Only two Husseys forfeited in the Desmond Rebellion, and they were John +and Maurice.</p> + +<p>In the Irish Parliament of James II., when Kerry returned eight members, +two of them were Husseys, and their names were John and Maurice.</p> + +<p>My grandfather's name was John, and his father before him was Maurice, +and I christened my two surviving sons John and Maurice.</p> + +<p>We do not go in for much variety of nomenclature in our family.</p> + +<p>My grandfather, John Hussey, lived at Dingle, his mother being a member +of the well-known Galway family of Bodkin. He was an offshoot of the +Walter Hussey who had been converted into an animated projectile by the +underground machinations of Cromwell's colonels. He was a very little +man, who had a landed property at Dingle, did nothing in particular, and +received the usual pompous eulogy on his tombstone. I never heard that +he left any papers or diaries, and I do not think that he ever went out +of Kerry—he had too much sense.<a name="Page_8" id="Page_8" /></p> + +<p>A rather diverting story in which his sister was the heroine may be +worth telling, if only because it was so characteristic of the period.</p> + +<p>In those days, as now, Husseys and Dennys were closely associated, and +both my great-aunt and Miss Denny, known locally as the 'Princess +Royal,' were going to a ball. At that time it was the fashion for the +girls of the period to wear muslin skirts edged with black velvet. The +muslin was easily procured; not so the velvet, which was eventually +obtained by sacrificing an ancient pair of nether garments belonging to +my great-grandfather.</p> + +<p>After the early dinner then fashionable, each of the damsels was +departing for the Castle, with a swain at the door of her sedan-chair, +when our kinswoman, Lady Donoughmore, who was on the door-step watching +them off, enthusiastically shouted:—</p> + +<p>'Success to the breeches! Success to the breeches!'</p> + +<p>Imagine the horrified confusion of the poor 'Princess Royal,' not then +eighteen.</p> + +<p>This episode reminds me of the modern Scottish story of a tiresome small +boy who wanted more cake at a tea-party, and threatened his parents with +dire revelations if they did not comply with his demands. As they showed +no signs of intimidation, he banged on the table to obtain attention, +and then announced:—</p> + +<p>'Ma new breeks are made out of the winter curtains.'</p> + +<p>An incident connected with one of the earliest private carriages in +Kerry is worth telling. The vehicle in question had just been purchased +by a certain Miss Mullins, daughter of a former Lord Ventry, who +regarded it on its arrival with almost sacred awe. A dance in the +neighbourhood seemed an appropriate opportunity for impressing the +county with her newly acquired grandeur, but the night proving wet, she +insisted on reverting to a former mode of progression, and rode pillion +behind her coachman.<a name="Page_9" id="Page_9" /></p> + +<p>The result was that she caught a violent chill, which turned to +pneumonia, and as her relatives were assembled round her deathbed, the +old lady exclaimed, between her last gasps for breath:—</p> + +<p>'Thank God I never took out the carriage that wet night.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II" />CHAPTER II<a name="Page_10" id="Page_10" /></h2> + +<h4>PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS</h4> + + +<p>My father, Peter Bodkin Hussey, was for a long time a barrister at the +Irish Bar, practising in the Four Courts, where more untruths are spoken +than anywhere else in the three kingdoms, except in the House of Commons +during an Irish debate. All law in Ireland is a grave temptation to +lying, and the greatest number of Courts produced a stupendous amount of +mendacity—or it was so in earlier times, at all events.</p> + +<p>Did you ever hear the tale of the old woman who came to Daniel +O'Connell, outside the Four Courts, as he was walking down the steps, +and said to him:—</p> + +<p>'Would your honour be so kind as to tell me the name of an honest +attorney?'</p> + +<p>The Liberator stopped, scratched his head in a perplexed way, and +replied:—</p> + +<p>'Well now, ma'am, you bate me intoirely.'</p> + +<p>My father had red hair, and was very impetuous. Therefore he was +christened 'Red Precipitate' by Jerry Kellegher.</p> + +<p>This legal luminary was a noted wit even at the Irish Bar of that time, +a confraternity where humour was almost as rampant as +creditors—irresponsible fun, and a light purse are generally allied; +your wealthy fellow has too much care for his gold to have spirits to be +mirthful.</p> + +<p>The tales about him are endless. Here are just a few I have heard from +my father's lips.</p> + +<p>Jerry had a cousin, a wine merchant, who supplied the Bar mess, and a +complaint was lodged that the bottles were very small.<a name="Page_11" id="Page_11" /></p> + +<p>To which Jerry retorted:—</p> + +<p>'You idiot, don't you know they shrink in the washing,' which satisfied +the grumbler. And that always seemed to me the strangest part of the +story.</p> + +<p>In those days religious feeling ran pretty high—I will not go so far as +to say it has entirely died down to-day—and the usual Protestant toast +was:—</p> + +<p>'The Pope, the Devil, and the Pretender.'</p> + +<p>Now, Jerry was a Roman Catholic, none the less earnest because he had a +merry way with him. On a certain Friday he was seen to be fasting by a +very foppish barrister, who thought a great deal of himself.</p> + +<p>He remarked to Jerry, with unnecessary impertinence:—</p> + +<p>'Sir, it appears you have some of the Pope in your stomach.'</p> + +<p>To which Jerry, quick as a pistol-shot, retorted:—</p> + +<p>'And you have the whole of the Pretender in your head,' after which +there was the devil to pay.</p> + +<p>There was a certain Chancellor in Ireland who was born a few years after +his father and mother had separated. As he did not like Jerry, he used +to make a great fuss about how he should pronounce his name. At last in +Court one day he burst out:—</p> + +<p>'Pray tell me what you wish me to call you—Mr. Kellegher, or Mr. +Kellaire?'</p> + +<p>'Call me anything you like, my lud, so long as you call me born in +wedlock.'</p> + +<p>The Chancellor did not score that time.</p> + +<p>At one time there were grave complaints made about the light-hearted way +in which Jerry handled his cases, and his practice fell off. He was +conversing with a very stupid judge, lately elevated to the Bench, and +observed:—<a name="Page_12" id="Page_12" /></p> + +<p>'It's a very extraordinary world: you have risen by your gravity, and I +have fallen by my levity.'</p> + +<p>He had a son who, in my time, had a large practice at the Bar, but I +never came across him, nor did I ever hear that there was anything +remarkable about him, except that he was not so witty as his father, +which was not wonderful.</p> + +<p>After all, as Jerry was before my own experience, I must not delay over +him, so I will only give one more tale about him, and pass on.</p> + +<p>When Lord Avonmore got his peerage for voting for the Union, he had his +patent of nobility read out at a dinner-party, and it commenced, +'George, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.'</p> + +<p>'Stop,' cried Jerry, 'I object to that. The consideration is set out too +early in the deed.'</p> + +<p>This long digression over, I revert to my father about whose respectable +practice at the Four Courts I know nothing except that he allowed others +to become judges, and did not find solicitors putting his services up to +auction.</p> + +<p>By the death of his elder brother, he succeeded to a property, near +Dingle, on which he went to live and then got married, which was the +wisest thing that he could do.</p> + +<p>My mother was Mary Hickson, and her descent was this wise.</p> + +<p>The Murrays were said to have come to Scotland from Moravia in the first +century; and a pretty bulky history of the clan reveals as much truth +about them as the author cared to put in when tired of inventing less +probable facts. Sir Walter Murray, Lord of Drumshegrat, came to Ireland +with Edward de Bruce and was killed in battle, leaving three sons, one +of whom, christened Andrew, settled in County Down. Some of his +descendants migrated to Bantry, where, in 1670, William Murray married +Ann Hornswell, and was succeeded by his third son George, who was in +turn succeeded by his eldest son William, who married Anne Grainger. Of +the marriage, there was only one daughter Judith, who married Robert +Hickson, heir to the property.<a name="Page_13" id="Page_13" /></p> + +<p>They had five sons and two daughters, the younger of whom married Sir +William Cox, and the elder my father.</p> + +<p>The superior of my dear mother never drew the breath of life. She lived +until I was twenty-five, and I never met any man who could say more than +I could for my mother, though equalled by what my own sons could say of +theirs, and she too came of the same stock, for I married my first +cousin, Julia Agnes Hickson. It is said no man is thoroughly happy until +he is suitably married, an opinion I absolutely endorse; but happiness +so great as my married life is not of public interest, and if it were, I +should not wear my heart on my sleeve for general inspection. Any +tribute from me to my dear wife would be superfluous; the devoted love +of our children has been the endorsement by the next generation of the +feelings which I have always felt towards her.</p> + +<p>She was the daughter of my mother's eldest brother, John Hickson, called +the Sovereign of Dingle. He had powers to collect customs, to hold a +court, and to try cases in much the same way that a lord provost had.</p> + +<p>On one occasion when a case was to be tried, two attorneys appeared from +the town of Tralee, about thirty miles off. Now John Hickson had his own +ideas about the attorneys of those days—ideas such as all honest men +had, but dared not express. So he sent a crier through the town to say +that the court was adjourned for a fortnight. When the appointed day +arrived, the attorneys arrived also, so again the melodious tones of the +crier proclaimed through the town that the court was adjourned for yet +another fortnight, Captain Hickson remarking to his wife that he was not +going to be helped to administer justice by those who earned their +living on injustice. The attorneys gave it up in despair, leaving +Captain Hickson to lay down the law as he liked, and to do him justice, +his ideas were more conducive to peace and order than the arguments of +Irish attorneys generally are.<a name="Page_14" id="Page_14" /></p> + +<p>He was loved and revered by the people, so that when the cholera raged +in 1833 and 1834, and the constabulary were ordered to go into the +houses to remove the corpses (this to prevent the people 'waking' the +dead, and so spreading the contagion), they dared not enter the cabins +unless Captain Hickson went with them, as the people were so enraged at +their dead being molested that they would have killed the police. +Fortunately Captain Hickson had enough moral influence to make the +people obey the law.</p> + +<p>In the eighties he would have been shot in the back by some scoundrel +who had primed himself with Dutch courage from adulterated whisky.</p> + +<p>He raised a Yeomanry Corps at the time of the Whiteboys to guard the +country against these lawless bands, and against the dreaded French +invasion. This regiment was called the Dingle Yeomanry, and the tales +about it are many.</p> + +<p>On one occasion when Captain Hickson was in London, the general from +Dublin inspected the corps. In the absence of the commanding officer, +his brother was ordered to parade the battalion, and being a nervous +young man, he completely forgot all the words of command, so to the +unconcealed amusement of the old martinet from the capital, he +shouted:—<a name="Page_15" id="Page_15" /></p> + +<p>'Boys, do as you always do.'</p> + +<p>It says well for the discipline of the regiment that they did not +implicitly obey the order.</p> + +<p>His mother, this Mrs. Judith Hickson, was the only one of my +grand-parents I ever saw, and very little impression she has left on my +memory, except a notion that she had less sense of humour than pertains +to most Irishwomen by the blessing of God and their own mother wit.</p> + +<p>My father was a Roman Catholic, and my mother a Protestant. By the terms +of the marriage settlement, we were all brought up in her faith, which +occasioned a tremendous row at that time, and nowadays would never be +tolerated by the priests.</p> + +<p>All the same my father was an obstinate man, not disposed to care much +for the whole College of Cardinals, and indifferent if he were cursed +with bell and book. Of course he was not a good-tempered man, or he +would not have justified his nickname of Red Precipitate, but he spared +the rod with me, and failed to keep me in order. I was the youngest of a +pretty large family and the pet into the bargain.</p> + +<p>My eldest brother, John, was drowned at St. Malo. He was unmarried, and +his profession was to do nothing as handsomely as he could.</p> + +<p>James was in the 13th Light Dragoons, and subsequently in the 11th. He +saw no service, and was an excellent soldier at mess and off duty. I am +not qualified to speak with authority about his fulfilment of the +trumpery trivialities which fill up garrison life, but here is one +anecdote about him.</p> + +<p>Soon after Lord Cardigan took command of the 13th Light Dragoons, a +great many of the officers left the corps, and a man wrote to the papers +to say that this was chiefly due to the great expense of the mess.<a name="Page_16" id="Page_16" /></p> + +<p>My brother retorted in print that for his part the reason was due to its +being 'incompatible with my feelings as a gentleman to remain in the +regiment as it is equally impossible to exchange out of a regiment that +has the undeserved misfortune to be commanded by his lordship.'</p> + +<p>Edward lived at Dingle, and was much liked by the people there. He was +an active magistrate and a conscientious man. He married and left two +sons, one in the Horse Artillery and the other a colonel in the +Engineers. They have all joined the great majority.</p> + +<p>Robert, who chose to be an army surgeon, died in India, leaving me +without a relation in the world of my own name.</p> + +<p>It reminds me of the story in <i>Charles O'Malley</i> about the old family in +which it was hereditary not to have any children. However, I altered +that by having eleven of my own, two sons, John and Maurice, and four +daughters being alive, at the present time. More power to them say I, in +the current phrase of good-will in Kerry.</p> + +<p>My sister Mary died at Bath when I was born. It was her health which +prevented me from being by birth what I am at heart, a Kerry man.</p> + +<p>Ellen was married to Robert, elder brother of the late Knight of Kerry, +and her grand-daughter is married to Colonel Thorneycroft of Spion Kop +fame.</p> + +<p>Ellen's sister, Julia, married Sir Peter FitzGerald, Knight of Kerry. +The two therefore married brothers, and if there had been any more they +might have done the same.</p> + +<p>I suppose I ought to give the date of my birth, but despite all the +efforts of those in Ireland, who loved me so much that they became +active agents to convey me to heaven, I cannot yet give you the date of +my death.<a name="Page_17" id="Page_17" /></p> + +<p>My friend, Mr. Townshend Trench, is, I believe, writing a book to prove +the world will come to an end in about thirty years' time, but that will +see me out, and those then alive may discover that the Great Landlord +has given the tenants an extension of the lease of the earth.</p> + +<p>I was born on December 17, 1824, and I have none of those infantile +recollections which are such an insult on the general attention when put +in print.</p> + +<p>Still my earliest memory is so characteristic of much that was to follow +that I set it down.</p> + +<p>The very first thing I remember is being placed on the seat of a trap +beside the local R.M. (Resident Magistrate), and thus going out, +escorted by a party of soldiers, to collect tithes.</p> + +<p>I clapped my hands with glee, but an old woman by the road-side said +that it was a shame to take out that innocent babe on such bloodthirsty +work.</p> + +<p>I could ride before I could walk, and was always fond of the exercise. +What Irishman is not?</p> + +<p>My taste for this was fostered by my father, who had broken his leg when +young, and not only disliked walking, but had a slight limp, which did +not prevent him being in the saddle for many hours each day.</p> + +<p>As a child, I led a fresh, natural, out-of-doors, healthy life, exposed +to wind and rain, and all the better for both. There are very few trees +about Dingle, and I quite agree with the remark of an American that it +was the most open country he had ever seen.</p> + +<p>I was always bathing, but I never got drowned, not even in liquor, +although I have sat with some of the best in that capacity. I have +myself been pretty temperate in everything, to which I attribute my +longevity. And yet I am not sure that any rule can be laid down in this +respect, for I have known men who saturated themselves in alcohol until +they ought to have been kept out of sight of all decent people live +longer than those that have kept straight in every way.<a name="Page_18" id="Page_18" /></p> + +<p>In proof of this, let me quote the delightful account of a centagenarian +out of Smith's <i>History of Kerry</i>, a book already referred to, and which +can now be finally put back on its shelf, dry as dust, as Carlyle might +say, 'but pregnant with food for thought, ay, and for grim +mirth,'—those are not exactly the words of the Sage of Chelsea, but +just have the rub of his tongue about them.</p> + +<p>'Mr. Daniel MacCarty died in February 1751,' as the account said, 'in +the 112th year of his age. He lived during his whole life in the barony +of Iveragh, and buried four wives. He married a fifth in the +eighty-fourth year of his age, and she but a girl of fourteen, by whom +he had several children. He was always a very healthy man, no cold ever +affecting him, and he could not bear the warmth of a shirt at night, but +put it under his pillow. He drank for many of the last years of his life +great quantities of rum and brandy, which he called <i>the naked truth</i>; +and if, in compliance to other gentlemen, he drank claret or punch, he +always took an equal quantity of spirits to qualify those liquors: this +he called a wedge. No man ever saw him spit. His custom was to walk +eight or ten miles in a winter's morning over mountains with greyhounds +and finders, and he seldom failed to bring home a brace of hares. He was +an innocent man, and inherited the social virtues of the antient +Milesians. He was of a florid complexion, looked amazingly well for a +person of his age and manners of life, for his use of spirituous liquors +was prodigious, a custom that much prevails in these baronies.'<a name="Page_19" id="Page_19" /></p> + +<p>Indeed, no one who was slightly acquainted with the characteristics of +the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Kerry would suggest that total +abstinence was even to-day their predominant virtue.</p> + +<p>It is the fashion to say that it is a good thing to be one of a large +family. From a financial point of view I am quite certain that the +reverse is preferable, and as I was the youngest of nine—two others +besides those I mentioned, James and Anne, coming to early demises—I +received as many kicks and cuffs from my brethren as I did halfpence and +affection from my parents. So, like Thackeray, as a child I sympathised +with Lord MacTurk who wished to cut off the heads of his brethren. Now I +have survived them all, and I fondly regret the sounds of voices that +are still.</p> + +<p>But as I sit in my arm-chair and ruminate over the past, which every old +man must do in the intervals of reading the <i>Times</i>, going to the club, +or losing his money by careful attention to speculation, I have the +consolation of remembering that I did as much mischief as any other +child. To be a really good child means that the animal is a prig or +unhealthy. To-day I am fond of all my grandchildren, but the one I like +best is the one which proves himself or herself the naughtiest for the +moment.</p> + +<p>This is a hard saying for parents, and not a good precept for the young, +but there is solid truth in it and a bit of common-sense too, for it is +best to get the original sin out in the years of innocence.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III" />CHAPTER III<a name="Page_20" id="Page_20" /></h2> + +<h4>EDUCATION</h4> + + +<p>Perhaps the biggest wrench in life is going to school. It may not seem +so very much afterwards—as the boy said of the tooth when he looked at +it in the dentist's forceps—but the wrench is really bad.</p> + +<p>I learned my letters from my mother, and picked up a few other +smatterings before I had daily lessons from a tutor at Dingle. Strange +to say, a very good classical education could have been obtained there +in the thirties, better, so far as I can estimate, than could have been +expected from a town double the size at the same period in England.</p> + +<p>At the age of ten I was sent to Huddard's, then a very sound school in +Dublin. I was well enough taught, not caned enough for my deserts, +though more than sufficed for my feelings, and sufficiently fed, but at +the end of two years I had to leave owing to ill health.</p> + +<p>An apothecary, who selfishly recollected that the more medicines I took +the better for him if not for me, converted me into a human receptacle +for his empirical abominations, but another surgeon, who was rather +tardily called in, packed me off to the country.</p> + +<p>One of the leading Dublin physicians certified that I had only one lung; +but as the other has served me faithfully for sixty-nine years, I am +rather sceptical as to the accuracy of his diagnosis.<a name="Page_21" id="Page_21" /></p> + +<p>I remember very little about Huddard's, except that it was in Mountjoy +Square, and about a hundred boys were herded there in unsought +proximity. We boarders always fought the town boys, but also had to +cajole them in humiliating ways to smuggle us in contraband articles of +food. The meals at Huddard's were fairly good, no doubt, as school fare +goes, but the sugary stick-jaw stuff for which the soul of a boy longs +was naturally not part of the official bill of fare. The bullying was of +a reasonable nature, or at all events I could hold my own with the best +of them, being indifferent to punishment so long as I could hit out +effectively from the shoulder. One of the ushers, a dwarf of malignant +disposition, was an awful tyrant, and we always had an ardent desire to +tar and feather him, only we did not know how to set about the operation +even if we had ventured to attempt it.</p> + +<p>After a happy interval of convalescence at home, I was sent to a smaller +school kept by Mr. Hogg at Limerick. One of the boys there subsequently +became that illustrious ornament of the Bench, Lord Justice Barry.</p> + +<p>He was a very eloquent man, counted so even at the Irish Bar, where a +certain high-flown loquacity is pretty prevalent, and had a great +repute. He arrived at Cork once, and had to fight his way through a +dense throng to get into court. On inquiring the reason of the crowd, he +was told that everybody wanted to hear the big speech that was expected +from Councillor Barry.</p> + +<p>'Well, unless you make way for me it's disappointed every mother's son +of you will be, for I am twin to Councillor Barry, and I never heard +tell he had a brother.'</p> + +<p>He carried on the old-fashioned habit of after-dinner conviviality, and +used to sit drinking three hours after the wine had been put on the +table, which was why I never accepted his hospitality in after years, +for, as I said before, I am a man of moderation.<a name="Page_22" id="Page_22" /></p> + +<p>In my young days it was the regular thing to bring in whisky-punch after +dinner; and for many years I regularly took one tumbler and never had a +second, not once to the best of my recollection.</p> + +<p>There is a good deal of change in the habits of life. When I was a boy +coffee was unknown for breakfast, cocoa had not become known as a +beverage, and tea was regularly drunk. We seldom took lunch, nor did the +ladies, and afternoon tea was unheard of. Instead, tea was brought into +the drawing-room about eight in the evening, and was always drunk very +weak and sweet. In those times it was invariably from China and pretty +costly.</p> + +<p>We dined at five. Dinners were very solid. Soup was a pretty regular +opening, but could be dispensed with without comment, and it was almost +always greasy. At Dingle fish was pretty plentiful, but sweets were +regarded as a great extravagance.</p> + +<p>I remember, when grown up, dining with an elderly man near Cahirciveen, +who had a turbot for which he must have paid at least eight shillings, +but he apologised for not having a pudding on account of the necessity +for economy, though a pudding would not have cost him eightpence.</p> + +<p>Made dishes were very few and badly cooked. The food was chiefly joints, +and, in nine cases out of ten, roast mutton. Vegetables were not so much +eaten as now, always excepting potatoes, which were consumed in large +quantities. There was practically no fruit, except a few apples and +oranges at Christmas.</p> + +<p>Men sat very long over their wine. Sherry used to be served at dinner +and often claret afterwards, but the great beverage was port. I am +inclined to think that port has sensibly deteriorated since my young +days. It was as a rule more fruity then, but we never talked of our +livers, as subalterns and undergraduates do nowadays.<a name="Page_23" id="Page_23" /></p> + +<p>Port used to come direct to Dingle. It was an easy harbour 'to run,' and +there was some smuggling.</p> + +<p>On one occasion some soldiers were sent to protect the gauger, who was +bent on making an important seizure. A few of the inhabitants of Dingle +took the opportunity of entertaining the officer, and whilst he +slumbered from the effects of their hospitality, the opportunity for +making the seizure was lost.</p> + +<p>There is no particular reason why I should tell the following story +here, but it is worth recording, and I don't know any other part of my +reminiscences where it is more likely to slip in appropriately.</p> + +<p>In Kerry in 1815, the farmers had been an extra long time fattening up +their pigs. After the Peace, prices all fell, and though the farmers +were reluctant, they had to yield to circumstances. One day the dealers +were buying at extremely low rates in Tralee market, when the postman +brought the news that Napoleon had escaped from Elba.</p> + +<p>Instantly all the farmers broke off their bargains, and proceeded to +start homeward with their swine, shouting:—</p> + +<p>'Hurrah for Boney that rose the pigs.'</p> + +<p>My mother often told me of this scene, which she herself witnessed.</p> + +<p>There was always a distinct sympathy with France, owing to the smuggling +from that land, and after the English had prohibited the exportation of +wool, it was smuggled into France, whence were brought back silks and +brandy.</p> + +<p>The geography of Kerry is ideal for landing contraband store, and I +should say even more was done in this respect locally than on the coast +of Scotland.<a name="Page_24" id="Page_24" /></p> + +<p>There is a certain amount of good-will between people whose mutual +interests are similar until they fall out, and the hope of a French +landing in Ireland, though never very serious, always fanned the native +disaffection to the Government in the West.</p> + +<p>The veracity of an Irishman is never considerable, for as a rule he will +say what he thinks likely to please you rather than state any unpleasant +fact. Of course the gauger—excise officer—was an especially unpopular +personage, and I doubt if a tithe of the lies told to him were ever +considered worthy of being confessed at all.</p> + +<p>O'Connell's family made much money by smuggling, which was a pursuit +that carried not the slightest moral reproach. Indeed 'to go agin the +Government' in any sort of way has always been an act of +super-excellence.</p> + +<p>The most lucrative side of the commercial enterprises of Morgan +O'Connell was his trade in contraband goods. In Derrynane Bay, he and +his brother landed cargoes which were sent over the hills on horses' +backs to receivers in Tralee.</p> + +<p>Of O'Connell himself most stories have been told, but it is difficult to +indicate the enormous influence he had over the lower classes in his own +country.</p> + +<p>Years before George IV. had aptly expressed the situation amid his +maudlin tears over Catholic emancipation.</p> + +<p>'Wellington is King of England, O'Connell is King of Ireland, and I +suppose I'm only considered Dean of Windsor.'</p> + +<p>As an advocate, the Liberator had many of the attributes of Kenealy, and +his popularity was so great that he was often briefed in every case at +an assize.<a name="Page_25" id="Page_25" /></p> + +<p>There is no doubt that he bullied judges, was allowed enormous laxity in +browbeating opposing counsel and witnesses, and, like Father O'Flynn, +had a wonderful way with him, so far as the jury was concerned.</p> + +<p>When I saw him in Dublin, I at once realised how true must be the bulk +of the stories of his great conceit. He has been elevated into a +superhuman being by the posthumous praise of hundreds of blatant mob +orators.</p> + +<p>Dan had two brothers, John and James. The latter was the first baronet, +and noted for his witty sayings.</p> + +<p>He presided at a dinner given for the purpose of presenting an address +to the manager of a bank. On the toast of the Army and Navy being +proposed, the only man who could return thanks for the former was a +solicitor named Murphy, who said that if he were forced to respond to +the toast, it clearly proved what a peaceful community they lived in, +adding:—</p> + +<p>'It is such a long time since I laid by the sash and the sword, that I +have forgotten my drill.'</p> + +<p>'But you have never forgotten the charge,' observed the chairman, who +had a long bill from Murphy in his pocket at the time.</p> + +<p>On another occasion, a lady spoke to James about subscribing to the +Roman Catholic Cathedral at Killarney.</p> + +<p>'For my part,' she observed, 'it's little I can do in my lifetime, but I +have left all my money for the good of my soul.'</p> + +<p>'I believe, ma'am,' says James, 'you were an original shareholder in the +Provincial Bank. The shares are now quoted at eighty and they pay six +per cent. That is very much like twenty-one per cent. on the original +capital.'</p> + +<p>'I am not a clever man like you at making these calculations,' replies +the lady; 'I have higher and holier things to think about.'<a name="Page_26" id="Page_26" /></p> + +<p>'Don't say that again to me, ma'am,' says he. 'I put my money into +farms, and I get five per cent, from a grumbling and unsatisfactory set +of tenants. And what are you getting? Twenty-one per cent. in this world +and salvation in the next. It's the most damnable interest I ever heard +tell of, either in this world or any other.'</p> + +<p>Yet another tale about him.</p> + +<p>He had received an unconscionable bill of costs from an attorney, and +happening to meet a Roman Catholic bishop in Cork, he asked him if an +attorney could ever be saved.</p> + +<p>'Why not? Even an extortioner can be if he make ample restitution in his +life-time, and dies fortified with the rites of the Church.'</p> + +<p>'May be so, my lord,' replied Sir James, 'you know more about these +things than I do, but if it is as you say, you are taking a confounded +amount of unnecessary trouble about the rest of us.'</p> + +<p>The bishop was not a bit disconcerted.</p> + +<p>'I am an honest labourer striving to be worthy of my hire,' he +explained.</p> + +<p>And at that Sir James left it, because he said it was not respectful to +ask too many invidious questions about a man who had the making of your +soul at his own will.</p> + +<p>All this is a digression from my education, which was as desultory as +these reminiscences.</p> + +<p>After a spell at Limerick I was again sent home ill, and for six months +I really had to be treated as an invalid. I was always very fond of +books, notably history, and I think I have read pretty well every book +published upon the history of Ireland. It was at this time I began +teaching myself a bit, and that is the teaching which is better than any +other, except what one has to learn against one's own will and for one's +own advantage in the school of life. Like a good many other people I was +led to history not only by a shortage of lighter books at home, but also +by curiosity aroused by the novels of Sir Walter Scott. In the way of +promoting better reading, I believe Scott has been far more beneficial +than any other writer of fiction in English.<a name="Page_27" id="Page_27" /></p> + +<p>I was for a short time at school in Exeter, and then at a rather rough +establishment at Woolwich, where my father wished me to have the tuition +in mathematics which could be obtained from the masters in the Academy +at irregular times. By all accounts the fagging and bullying in that +establishment were appalling. The headmaster of the school I was at was +an able fellow, and many of the cadets used to come to have a grind with +him. Some of their tales were 'hair-erectors,' as the Americans say.</p> + +<p>One new boy had the misfortune to sprain his ankle, and to incur the +fury of the head of dormitory on the same evening. The latter tied his +game ankle up to his thigh, and fastening him by the wrist to the bottom +of the bed, made him stand the better part of the night on his bad +ankle.</p> + +<p>This reminds me of the story of a certain royal prince going to an +educational establishment and being asked who his parents were. On his +reply, the senior—or 'John'—gave him a terrific <i>cuff</i> on the side of +the head saying:—</p> + +<p>'That's for your father, the prince.'</p> + +<p>And before the half-stunned boy recovered, he received a stinging blow +on the other ear with:—</p> + +<p>'That's for your mother, the princess, and now black my boots.'<a name="Page_28" id="Page_28" /></p> + +<p>His Highness could say nothing, but in time he grew to be the biggest +and the worst bully.</p> + +<p>Then the younger brother of his former tormentor came, and the prince +sent for him, and telling him what his brother had done some years +before, made him bend down and flogged him so unmercifully that he had +to go into hospital.</p> + +<p>Years after, when in an important position, he met his former victim, +now a general, and congratulating him on his career said:—</p> + +<p>'Perhaps I made your success by giving you that tanning at Sandhurst.'</p> + +<p>I wonder whether there was murder in the heart of the grim old warrior +at the recollection. Of course that would not be strange, for many a +time officers have been actually shot in action by their own men.</p> + +<p>Here is a perfectly true story, only neither the men nor the officer +need be specified.</p> + +<p>A colonel who had grossly mismanaged the regiment knew his fate was +sealed.</p> + +<p>So when the men paraded for the engagement, he said:—</p> + +<p>'I know you mean to shoot me to-day, but for God's sake don't do so +until we have won the battle.'</p> + +<p>This was greeted with a cheer, and he came back safe to be decorated and +to play whist at his club as badly as any member in it.</p> + +<p>I am not sure that cards ought not to be considered part of every lad's +training. If a man goes through life without touching a card, he +probably loses a good deal of innocent amusement, and debars himself +from much pleasant society. If he learns to play when grown up, he may +find it a costly and unsatisfactory branch of education. But if he is +taught to play reasonably well as a boy, and is shown that excellent +games can be had without gambling—I do not consider an infinitesimal +stake, in proportion to his means, gambling—he will have an extra +amusement made for him and a relaxation after his day's work.<a name="Page_29" id="Page_29" /></p> + +<p>A near relative of my own gets his club cronies to play bridge with his +son, aged eighteen, and pays his losses, in order that he may be +thoroughly grounded in the game. The lad is a capital boy, and all the +better for his early association with elder men on their own level.</p> + +<p>One of the resources of my old age is three games of picquet every night +after dinner with my wife, and very much I enjoy them. There is often +the fashionable bridge played in the room by my children and their +friends, but I have never taken a hand, though in younger days I derived +a fair amount of diversion from whist.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV" />CHAPTER IV<a name="Page_30" id="Page_30" /></h2> + +<h4>FARMING</h4> + + +<p>My years of schooling having come to an end, I was back in Ireland in +full enjoyment of youth, high spirits, and thoughtless carelessness. +These holiday times were delightful. I could be in the saddle all day if +I liked, was free to shoot or bathe as I pleased, had dogs at my +disposal, could pass the time of day with all sorts and conditions of +men—a thing which I have relished all my life—and in fact led the gay +existence of the younger offshoot of an Irish squire.</p> + +<p>In those days things were not so impecunious in Ireland as they +subsequently became, but there was always a vivacious Hibernian scorn +for false pretension, and a determination to have the best possible +time, such as you can read in Lever's novels of old, and the capital +tales of those two clever ladies, Miss Martin and Miss Somerville, +to-day.</p> + +<p>It is perfectly true that there are many Irish landlords in sporting +counties who cannot have three hundred a year, and yet all their sons +and daughters manage to hunt four days a week.</p> + +<p>This would be impossible out of Ireland, and is absolutely +incomprehensible even there; but the fact remains that it is done, and +all one can remark is to echo the patter of the conjuror:—</p> + +<p>'Wonderful, isn't it?'</p> + +<p>I, however, was not destined to be left a derelict at home, as falls to +the hapless lot of far too many good fellows in Ireland.<a name="Page_31" id="Page_31" /></p> + +<p>There were a good many family counsels, and the authorities could not +make up their minds what to do with me. However, I thought farming was +the idlest occupation, and suggested it should be my profession—an idea +hailed with rapture, principally because it saved everybody the trouble +of racking their brains about me.</p> + +<p>Personally, I have often regretted that what in modern phrase may be +called the 'Stevenson boom' did not coincide with my search for a +career. Big posts were in due time going for engineers; and those young +men who had the stamp of apprenticeship to, or association with, the +great man could get almost anything in the days of the fever for railway +construction.</p> + +<p>Even later than the period I am now recalling, the journey from Dublin +to Dingle would take more than two days, and, so far as I can recollect, +it certainly took five from Dingle to London. Those coaching journeys +were terrible experiences in wet weather, for you were drenched outside +and suffocated inside, whilst you paid more than three times the present +railway fare for the miserable privilege of this uncomfortable means of +transit.</p> + +<p>The old posting hotels used to be uncommonly good and comfortable, +whilst they did a thriving trade. The coach purported to give you ample +time to breakfast and dine at certain capital hostels, but by a private +arrangement between mine host and the guard and driver, the meals used +to be abruptly closured in order to save the landlord's larder.</p> + +<p>On the way down from Dublin, a thirty minutes' pause was allowed at Naas +for breakfast; but on the occasion of my story, as well as on every +other, after a quarter of an hour the waiter announced the coach was +just starting.<a name="Page_32" id="Page_32" /></p> + +<p>Everybody ran out to regain their seats, except one commercial +traveller, who picked up all the teaspoons and put them in the teapot +before calmly resuming his meal.</p> + +<p>Back came the waiter with:—</p> + +<p>'Not a moment to spare, sir.'</p> + +<p>'All right,' said the traveller; 'which of the passengers has taken the +teaspoons?'</p> + +<p>The waiter gave one glance of horror, and then proceeded to have every +one on the coach examined for the missing articles.</p> + +<p>By the time that the commercial traveller had calmly finished a hearty +meal there was nearly a riot, and then he emerged from the coffee-room, +and suggested that the waiter had better look in the teapot.</p> + +<p>By the way, I don't fancy that he regularly travelled on that road, for +he would have been a marked man at Naas for years to come.</p> + +<p>I was seventeen at the time when I had decided, with parental +acquiescence, to be a farmer, and I was sent to learn my profession to +the south of Scotland, to a farmer named Bogue.</p> + +<p>I there acquired, at all events, one curious fact, which has stuck in my +head ever since, and it is thus:—</p> + +<p>Scotland and Ireland are governed by the same Sovereign, Lords, and +Commons. Scotland is the best farmed country in Europe, and Ireland +about the worst.</p> + +<p>One pair of horses in Scotland were then supposed to cultivate fifty +acres of tillage, and in Ireland the average was one horse to five +acres. Indeed it is in both cases much the same to-day.<a name="Page_33" id="Page_33" /></p> + +<p>In reality a farm is a workshop from which you turn out as much produce +as possible. But on an Irish farm it is the habit to squeeze out the +last possible ounce without putting anything in, for it is not run with +an eye on future years, but only in a hand-to-mouth, beggar-the-soil +kind of way, without a thought beyond contemporary exigencies.</p> + +<p>There were several other pupils with Bogue, but I stuck to the business +more than the rest, who were perpetually gallivanting into Kelso, or +even going up to Edinburgh, where they learnt nothing which taught them +their trade or put money into their pockets. Therefore it happened that +I was selected by Bogue to have an excellent practical demonstration of +farming, after this wise. He had a pretty sharp illness, and left me for +a short time full management of all his six hundred acres, and that bit +of responsibility made a man of me once and for all. I stepped out of +boyhood instantly, and became an adult in feelings and bearing; but to +this day I hope my sense of fun is only keener than it was as a lad.</p> + +<p>I acquired a good deal of common sense in Scotland, and learnt to +observe for myself, a thing many men never acquire, and on their +deathbeds they will never be able to enumerate the opportunities they +have consequently lost.</p> + +<p>As I was to be a farmer, I thought it was no use to confine my attention +to the one I was on, but contracted the habit, when work was at all +slack, of going about to pick up what wrinkles I could from other +proprietors, as well as to make observations on my own account.</p> + +<p>Subsequently I have made two agricultural tours through Scotland for the +same purpose, getting as far north as Sutherland, in order to find out +how the Highland farmer dealt with more barren soil under a less +propitious climate. I have noted more improvement in farming in Ayrshire +in the interval than in any other county. Yet there is a letter in +existence by Burns in which he observes that Ayrshire lairds are getting +English and East Lothian notions about rents, and raising them so high +that it will soon be a wilderness.<a name="Page_34" id="Page_34" /></p> + +<p>The fact is that the Scotsman is a farmer by nature, but the Irishman is +a farmer by inclination.</p> + +<p>An Irishman tries to exist on land cultivated by the minimum amount of +labour, and does not farm a bit better if his land is cheaper.</p> + +<p>Every farmer in Scotland and England is laying down his land in grass, +and giving up tillage as fast as he can. It is notorious that Ireland is +more suitable for pasture than tillage, and yet the Government have +constituted a Board to break up the rich grazing lands in Ireland and +divide them into small tillage farms, on which the tenants could not get +a decent living even if they had it free of rent and taxes.</p> + +<p>Old Bogue was a bachelor by profession, and his polygamistic tendencies +were duly concealed, though pretty generally known, as most things are +in the country. He had as housekeeper a woman so skinny that it made you +feel cold to look at her, and her disposition was on a par with her +appearance. Of course, it suited the national thrift, particularly +congenial to Bogue, to feed us meanly, but we did not relish her +parsimonious economies.</p> + +<p>There was one thing none of us might shirk, and that was regular +attendance at kirk on Sunday. I have been a church-going man all my +life—in my late years in London I have especially appreciated the +beautiful services at St. Anne's, Soho—but the kirk has always been the +breaking of precious ointment over an unworthy head, so far as I am +concerned. The improvised prayer, that is always so carefully prepared, +and is often one delivered in regular rotation, always seems to me +rather humbugging for that reason, and the tremendously long sermons, +which have a minimum of three quarters of an hour, no matter what the +text or the ability of the preacher, are to me a vexation of spirit. I +have occasionally heard good sermons in kirk, but I think the standard +of Scottish preaching has always been overrated.<a name="Page_35" id="Page_35" /></p> + +<p>Moreover, I agree in the main with the American critic of sermons, who +said if a preacher can't strike ile in ten minutes he has got a bad +organ, or he is boring in the wrong place. It is always unfair to bore +in the pulpit, because the congregation have no means of retaliation +except by subsequently staying away, and in the country that is not +compatible with the public worship of their Maker.</p> + +<p>We have all heard the traditional stories about the divines who, having +found the sand of the hour-glass exhausted, calmly reversed it and +continued for a second spell, to the complete satisfaction of the +congregations. But in my experience only one preacher could have done +that without unendurably provoking me, and he was Archbishop Magee, of +whom I shall have something to say when I am dealing with County Cork.</p> + +<p>For the Scots in character I conceived much respect and little +enthusiasm. If there is anything more remarkable than the hard-working +powers of the Scottish farmer it is his capacity for hard drinking. But +that only makes him offensive in his brief conviviality and morose in +the long subsequent sulkiness. Whereas I defy you to be seriously angry +with a drunken Irishman, if you have a due sense of humour—and without +that you have lost the salt of life. To my mind there is something +austere in the better characteristics of the Scot, and also something +hypocritical about his morality. You always hear that professed in +Scotland, and never in Ireland. But in the latter fewer illegitimate +children are born than in any other country in Europe, and in +Scotland—notably Glasgow—the high percentage has become sadly +proverbial. Yet, despite these adverse points, the Scottish character +has a native grandeur which must provoke admiration, though all my +warmth of feelings goes to my own oft-erring countrymen.<a name="Page_36" id="Page_36" /></p> + +<p>I returned to Ireland in 1843 with the intention of farming in Kerry on +the scientific system I had learned in Berwickshire. However, I found +the land so subdivided that it was not only difficult, but impossible, +to obtain a farm of sufficient size to return a reasonable percentage on +the necessary outlay. The population of Kerry was then 293,880, and the +land was divided into 25,848 farms, the holders of which, I may say, +entirely depended for existence on 26,030 acres of potatoes. To give an +example of the intense love of subdivision, I knew a case where one +horse was the property of three 'farmers,' and as they differed as to +who was to pay for the fourth shoe, they sold the horse, which was +bought by an uncle of mine.</p> + +<p>Few farmers ate meat except at Christmas. They wore homespun flannel and +frieze, and their only luxury, whisky, was obtainable at a quarter of +its present price. A young couple were considered ready to start in +married life when they had obtained a 'farm,' consisting of a couple of +acres for potatoes and a mud hovel for themselves; and thus a +population, dependent on a precarious root, increased very rapidly. It +was thicker near the sea coast than inland. The rents then were about +double what they are now (though half what they had been at the +beginning of the nineteenth century), yet, with good potato crops, +people seemed content and times were fairly good. I should say there was +not such general drunkenness as in later times, and very little porter +was consumed in those days—at all events outside Dublin. What schools +there were were shockingly bad, and reading, not to say writing, was an +exceptional accomplishment, not only among the labouring classes, but +among those who held their heads much higher. This of course impressed +me coming straight from Scotland, where a really grand education has +been the national birthright for generations.<a name="Page_37" id="Page_37" /></p> + +<p>I began to farm about sixty acres near Dingle, and gave my entire time +to it, an assiduity I have compared in my mind to that of the Norwegian +reclaiming the little arable spots on the mountain. We both worked +pretty hard for very scanty results. I did not even live on my tiny +property, but with my mother—my father had died after I returned from +my English schools and before I went to Kelso.</p> + +<p>Still matters were not long satisfactory, owing to the failure of the +potato crop in 1845, when the mortality became fearful in consequence.</p> + +<p>So at the very end of the year I migrated from Kerry to become an +assistant land agent in Cork, and thus really embarked on the profession +of my life—one which, on the whole, I have most thoroughly and heartily +enjoyed.</p> + +<p>I hoped then that I had not done with my beloved Kerry, and my +association with that great kingdom has indeed been lifelong. I have +always understood the feeling of the Irish emigrants who have had sods +of their native earth sent out to them to the New World. <i>Heimweh</i> is +after all a good thing, and Kerry to me would always seem to be +appealing, however far I had roamed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V" />CHAPTER V<a name="Page_38" id="Page_38" /></h2> + +<h4>LAND AGENT IN CORK</h4> + + +<p>Had I been able to obtain a reasonably large farm near Dingle, I should +never have become a land agent, and I most certainly should never have +given evidence before any Commission.</p> + +<p>In default of adequate land accommodation, I embarked on my profession +by becoming assistant land agent to my brother-in-law, the Knight of +Kerry, who was agent to Sir George Colthurst. I lived with the Knight at +Inniscarra in County Cork, not far from Blarney.</p> + +<p>From that time onward I worked steadily, and as I take my ease at the +Carlton to-day, I really feel I have done as much honest labour in my +career as has any man.</p> + +<p>In proof I may cite a day's record some years later, taken almost at +random from my diary.</p> + +<p>I began with an hour in my Cork office, went by train to Killarney, a +journey of three and a half hours, where I spent three hours in my +office, and then by train on to Tralee, a further one and a quarter +hours, where I had an hour and a half in my office in that town, and +then drove out to Edenburn, seven miles, to sleep. That done fairly +often makes a decided strain on endurance and mental concentration, +because the affairs at each place were of course for different landlords +and needed the memorising of a fresh section of business all absolutely +intrusted to me, whilst the train service in Kerry then and now is not +calculated to promote mental tranquillity or facilitate business.<a name="Page_39" id="Page_39" /></p> + +<p>Having alluded to my diary, I had better explain that I kept no journal +until 1852, and subsequently to that year it consisted merely of bald +memoranda of my movements; therefore it has not been of the least use in +preparing these reminiscences.</p> + +<p>In 1846 I became a Government Inspector of Land Improvements and +Drainage Works, and in that capacity went to Bantry, where I saw the +appalling destitution caused by the famine, with which I shall deal in +the next chapter.</p> + +<p>I had made application for this post before I left Kerry, directly I had +found my farm too small for my requirements, and I received the +appointment from the Chairman of the Irish Board of Works. Practically +speaking the pay was about a pound a day with allowances.</p> + +<p>This post in no way interfered with my duties as a land agent then, but +I afterwards resigned it owing to the increasing exigencies of my +profession.</p> + +<p>It may be as well to detail for readers other than Irish what are the +avocations of a land agent, especially as the class in Ireland will +probably soon be as extinct as the dodo.</p> + +<p>The duties of an Irish land agent comprise a great deal of office work, +drawing up agreements with tenants, receiving rent, superintending +agricultural and all landlords' improvements, sitting as magistrate and +representing the landlord when the latter is absent at poor-law +meetings, road sessions, and on grand juries.</p> + +<p>With very rare exceptions the salary has been five per cent, on the +rents received. So the agent has been paid five per cent, on all the +money he has put into the landlord's pockets, whilst an architect has +always received five per cent. on all he took out of them, an +arrangement which in the latter instance has not worked at all well for +the landlords.<a name="Page_40" id="Page_40" /></p> + +<p>The tendency has gradually been to consolidate and amalgamate land +agencies, for as the difficulty of getting rents increased, more +competent men of experience and judgment were needed by the landlords. +As a proof of the trust reposed in me, I may mention that at one time I +received the rents of one-fifth of the whole county of Kerry—and that +in the worst times.</p> + +<p>Such a task is not one to be envied, however joyously a man may take up +the burden of his daily toil, and of course the agents as the outward +and visible signs of the distant or absentee landlords obtained the +greater share of the hatred felt for the latter.</p> + +<p>In the worst period Lord Derby received threats that if he did not +reduce his rents, his agent would be murdered.</p> + +<p>He coolly replied:—</p> + +<p>'If you think you will intimidate me by shooting my agent you are +greatly mistaken.'</p> + +<p>That is exactly the reply the agents desired the landlords to make, but +it did not conduce to making their own existences any the more secure or +enviable.</p> + +<p>Of course in the due working out of the Wyndham Act, land agents will be +utterly ruined.</p> + +<p>There are no openings for them because they are too old to commence +learning another profession, and they will not get employment under the +County Council because they belong to the landlord class and have +unflinchingly fought the battles of the landlords.</p> + +<p>The agents are a class who have devoted their time and risked their +lives in order to get in the rents due to their employers, and there is +not the smallest chance—save in a few isolated and exceptional +cases—of their being kept on when the landlords will have only their +own demesne in their own hands and employ some underling, such as a +bailiff in England, to collect the stray rents of the few cottagers who +may still chance to be tenants.<a name="Page_41" id="Page_41" /></p> + +<p>Judge Ross stated that there was no more deserving or painstaking class +in Ireland than the land agents, and he considered it a great hardship +that under the Wyndham Act they obtain no compensation.</p> + +<p>By agreement in most cases they receive three per cent. of the purchase +money, but that is a very poor sinking fund to provide for a middle-aged +gentleman, who has probably a family to support; and absolute bankruptcy +must be the result if there is, as on several large properties, an agent +with a couple of assistants.</p> + +<p>When the Ashbourne Act was passed in 1885, it was never contemplated +that the purchases would be on a wholesale scale. As a matter of fact +only a few estates were sold, and on the purchase price of one of those +for which I was agent I received two per cent. It should be also borne +in mind that the profession of a land agent in Ireland is on a far +higher social plane than in England. In many cases the younger son or +brother of the landlord is the agent for the family property; and in +some instances this has worked uncommonly well. In other cases, +gentlemen by birth conducted the business, or else the administration of +several estates was consolidated and carried on from one office.</p> + +<p>In every case the billet was regarded as one for life, only forfeited by +gross misconduct, and the relations between landlord and agent have been +nearly always of an intimate and cordial character. Each agent began as +an assistant, obtaining an independent post by selection and influence, +and few entered the profession unless they had reasonable prospects of a +definite post on their own account in due course.<a name="Page_42" id="Page_42" /></p> + +<p>In my time the landlord was the sole judge of the agent's +qualifications, but the profession has become a branch of the +Engineering Surveyor's Institution.</p> + +<p>As may be imagined, there are now remarkably few candidates for the +necessary examinations, because it is virtually annihilated.</p> + +<p>Things were very different when I embarked without mistrust on a career +which has landed me comfortably into my eighties, although under +Government every appointment has to be compulsorily vacated at the age +of sixty-five. No one starting now could anticipate any such result in +old age, and so without affectation I can say <i>autres temps autres +moeurs</i>, which may be freely translated as 'present times much the +worst.'</p> + +<p>More pleasant is it to turn to a few brief memories of Cork. It was a +cheerful place at the time I am speaking of, for there was plenty of +entertaining and truly genial hospitality. The general depression caused +by famine, fever, and Fenians hardly affected the great town, and after +those funereal shadows had once passed, Cork was as gay as any one could +reasonably desire.</p> + +<p>The townsfolk are very witty and clever at giving nicknames, as the +following little tales will show.</p> + +<p>When a citizen in Cork makes money, he generally builds a house, and the +higher up the hill his house is situated, the more is thought of him.</p> + +<p>Mr. Doneghan, a highly respectable tallow chandler, built a fine +residence early in the nineteenth century, which he called Waterloo.</p> + +<p>The populace said it should have been named Talavera (<i>i.e.</i> +Tallow-vera), and as that it is known to this day.<a name="Page_43" id="Page_43" /></p> + +<p>Mr. Maguire, who was Member for Cork, and Lord Mayor of the City into +the bargain, was very influential in the promotion of a gas company. +With the money he made out of it, he reared a rather lofty mansion, +which was promptly christened the Lighthouse.</p> + +<p>All butter in Cork is sold at the wharves, and the casks are branded +with the quality of the butter they contain. One man made a fortune out +of the first class butter on its merits, and out of the sixth class +butter, which he put in the first class casks and sold on the testimony +of the brand on the wood. This became in time notorious to most people +except the more unsophisticated of his clients, and when he embarked on +bricks and mortar his house was generally known as Brandenburg.</p> + +<p>One more and I have done with these baptismal sobriquets.</p> + +<p>A lady on a Queenstown steamer had put her foot down the bunker's hole, +and broke her ankle through the accident. She brought an action against +the company, duly proved negligence on the part of the employés, and +obtained substantial damages. These considerably assisted her in +erecting a rather attractive mansion, which she decidedly resented being +called Bunker's Hill.</p> + +<p>Some people have their own ideas about the definition of a gentleman, as +a certain rather diminutive racing man found to his cost.</p> + +<p>It was at a meeting close to Cork, and he was standing next a burly +farmer close to the rails when the horses were nearly ready to start.</p> + +<p>Pointing to one disreputable-looking ruffian about to mount, he +observed:—</p> + +<p>'That fellow has no pretensions to be a gentleman-rider.'<a name="Page_44" id="Page_44" /></p> + +<p>The farmer caught him by the collar of his coat and the seat of his +breeches, and shook him as a mastiff would a rat.</p> + +<p>'Mind yourself, small man,' said he, 'that's a recognised gentleman in +these parts.'</p> + +<p>There was a mighty shindy, and when the farmer was told his victim was a +prominent English peer, he retorted:—</p> + +<p>'Well, that won't make him a judge of an Irish gentleman.'</p> + +<p>In the last chapter I mentioned that the preacher I most admired was +Archbishop Magee. I had the privilege of frequently hearing him in Cork, +where he drew crowded congregations to a temporary church—the cathedral +being under repair.</p> + +<p>I never heard any one who so magnetised me from the pulpit, and I am by +no means prone to admire sermons. There was a sort of mesmerism in the +very eloquence of Magee which kept my eyes riveted on his lips—rather +big, bulgy lips in an expressive, sensitive face. An hour beneath him +sped marvellously fast, and more than once in Cork I have heard him +preach for that length. The impression he made on me has never been +effaced, and it was with no surprise I learnt in due course that he +became Archbishop of York.</p> + +<p>The late Lord Derby said that the most eloquent speech he ever heard in +or out of the House of Lords was Magee's speech on the Church Act, the +peroration of which—quoting from memory after many years—ran:—'My +Lords, I will not, I cannot, and I dare not vote for that most +unhallowed bill which lies on your Lordships' table.'</p> + +<p>Have all Magee stories been told?</p> + +<p>I am afraid so. Yet in the hope that a few may be new to some, though +old to others—who are invited to skip them—here are just a small +batch.</p> + +<p>When he was a dean, he one day attended a debate on tithes in the House +of Commons, and was subsequently putting on his overcoat, when a Radical +Member courteously assisted him, whereupon he remarked:—<a name="Page_45" id="Page_45" /></p> + +<p>'I am very much obliged to you, sir, for reversing the policy of your +friends inside, who are taking the coats off our backs.'</p> + +<p>This was equalled by the wife of an Irish landlord who lost her purse in +the Ladies' Gallery of the House of Commons.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Gladstone, who had been sitting next her, after kindly assisting in +the ineffectual search, observed:—</p> + +<p>'I hope there was not much in it.'</p> + +<p>'No, it was a nice little purse I had had for a long time, but thanks to +your husband there was nothing in it.'</p> + +<p>An Irish story of Magee's concerns an Orange clergyman in Fermanagh, who +asked leave to preach a sermon by Magee. Now, this clergyman, who was an +ambitious man, was rather ashamed of his mother, and would not let her +live at the parsonage, but had taken lodgings for her in the town. +Magee, moreover, always a moderate man, did not like Orange sermons, and +most certainly had never composed one. As he good naturedly did not want +to offend the other, he said he would give him a capital sermon to +deliver if he—Magee—might select the text.</p> + +<p>'Of course, of course,' assented the other; 'what is it?'</p> + +<p>'"From that time His disciple took her to his own house."'</p> + +<p>Even this was hardly so cutting as his remark, when a bishop, to a +clergyman of whom he did not think highly, but who upbraided him for not +giving him a living.</p> + +<p>'Sir, if it were raining livings, the utmost I could do would be to lend +you an umbrella.'</p> + +<p>Mention of Magee suggests an ecclesiastical tale concerning a most +convivial attorney—George Faith by name—who had rather a red nose, +which he explained was caused by wearing tight boots.<a name="Page_46" id="Page_46" /></p> + +<p>His father in old age got married a second time, and George was asked +why his stepmother was like Dr. Newman.</p> + +<p>The answer was because she had embraced the ancient Faith.</p> + +<p>Among old time Irish members, Joe Ronayne, M.P. for Cork, was among the +most diverting.</p> + +<p>He was a railway contractor, and much wanted some additional ground at +the terminus of the line, which the proprietor, Lord Ventry, would not +sell.</p> + +<p>The size of the coveted patch was only seven feet long by three broad. +Mr. Ronayne grimly retorted:—</p> + +<p>'That's very strange, for it is exactly the amount of ground I'd like to +give him,' i.e. for his grave.</p> + +<p>Another experience of Ronayne's was to the following tune.</p> + +<p>He had obtained advances from a local bank for his railway contract to +the satisfaction of both parties, and when asked by the manager for some +wrinkles about the making of a railway, replied:—</p> + +<p>'The best thing is to run it into a soft bank.'</p> + +<p>He was a plucky chap as well as a witty one, for owing to some internal +malady, from which he died, he had to have his leg amputated, at the +same time resigning his seat for Cork.</p> + +<p>Addressing the surgeon, he observed:—</p> + +<p>'I cannot stand for the borough any longer, but I shall certainly stump +the constituency as a county candidate.'</p> + +<p>Poor fellow, he was all too soon an accepted candidate for his passage +over to the great majority.</p> + +<p>A certain attorney named Nagle used to do most of his work.</p> + +<p>Speaking of another attorney this Nagle remarked:—<a name="Page_47" id="Page_47" /></p> + +<p>'He has the heart of a vulture.'</p> + +<p>'I know what's worse,' was Ronayne's comment.</p> + +<p>'Indeed!'</p> + +<p>'Yes; the bill of an aigle' (which is the broad Cork pronunciation of +eagle).</p> + +<p>This Nagle was not remarkable for the extent of his ablutions.</p> + +<p>At one period, when he was becoming an ardent Radical, an obsequious +toady said:—</p> + +<p>'You'll become a second Marat.'</p> + +<p>'There's no fear that he will die in the same place,' promptly came from +Ronayne.</p> + +<p>On another occasion the two were waiting for the judges outside their +lodgings during the Assizes.</p> + +<p>Suddenly Ronayne, in the hearing of a number of acquaintances, called +out:—</p> + +<p>'You had better come away at once, Nagle.'</p> + +<p>'Why should I?' indignantly.</p> + +<p>'If you stop five minutes longer there's a shower of rain coming on and +you might get washed.'</p> + +<p>On a third occasion, Nagle told Ronayne he was going to invest some +money in a mining exploration.</p> + +<p>'Explore your own landed property, my dear fellow,' was Ronayne's +advice.</p> + +<p>'But you know I have not got any.'</p> + +<p>'Good Heavens, you don't mean to say you have cleaned your nails?'</p> + +<p>Though he was an out-and-out Fenian, Ronayne was as honest a man as I +ever met, and he was considered one of the most amusing men in the House +of Commons.</p> + +<p>The attorneys in Cork at one time formed quite a small coterie, who +divided all the business until it grew too much for them, one, Mr. Paul +Wallace, being especially harassed with briefs.<a name="Page_48" id="Page_48" /></p> + +<p>At length a barrister named Graves came down from Dublin, and was +introduced to Wallace by another attorney with the remark:—</p> + +<p>'Counsel are very necessary.'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' said Wallace; 'as a matter of fact, we are all being driven to +our graves.'</p> + +<p>At Kanturk Sessions, Mr. Philip O'Connell was consulted by a client +about the recovery of a debt. He at once saw that the defence would be a +pleading of the statute of limitations, so he told his client that if he +could get a man to swear that the debtor had admitted the debt within +the last six years, he would succeed, but not otherwise.</p> + +<p>O'Connell went off to take the chair at a Bar dinner to a new County +Court judge.</p> + +<p>As the dessert was being set on the table, a loud knock came at the +door, which was immediately behind the chairman.</p> + +<p>'What is it?' cried O'Connell.</p> + +<p>A head appeared, and the voice from it explained:—</p> + +<p>'I'm Tim Flaherty, your honour, as was consulting you outside, and I +want you to come this way for a while.'</p> + +<p>'Don't you see I am engaged and cannot come?'</p> + +<p>'But it's pressing and important.'</p> + +<p>'I tell you I won't come.'</p> + +<p>Then at the top of his voice Tim yelled:—</p> + +<p>'Will a small woman do as well, your honour?'</p> + +<p>The members of the Bar present, quite unaware of the previous +conversation, exploded in a shout of laughter, and it was long before +O'Connell heard the last of the invidious construction they put on the +affair.</p> + +<p>One of the interesting people I came across in the vicinity of Cork was +Mr. Jeffreys, who up to his death in 1862 was the most enterprising and +experimental landed proprietor in the county. He imported Scottish +stewards, and people from far and near came to see his farms.<a name="Page_49" id="Page_49" /></p> + +<p>I should say that in the fifties he did more for agriculture than any +other one man who could be named in Ireland.</p> + +<p>He often said to me:—</p> + +<p>'The system of small farms will not last long in Ireland, for the +occupiers are sure to strike against rents.'</p> + +<p>He did not live to see the fulfilment of his prophecy, but its effects +were felt by his grandson, Sir George Colthurst, who inherited his +property.</p> + +<p>Most of his stories were very improper, but their wit excused them.</p> + +<p>In the Kildare Street Club one day he saw a very pompous individual, and +asked who he was.</p> + +<p>'That's So-and-So, and the odd thing is he is the youngest of four +brothers, who are all married without having a child between them.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, that accounts for his importance—he is the last of the Barons.'</p> + +<p>Finding him very meditative in the County Club at Cork one Friday, I +asked him what was the matter.</p> + +<p>'I am making my soul,' said he. 'I began my dinner with turbot and ended +with scollops.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI" />CHAPTER VI<a name="Page_50" id="Page_50" /></h2> + +<h4>FAMINE AND FEVER</h4> + + +<p>It is now necessary to revert to that terrible page of Irish history, +the famine, which culminated in what is still known as 'the black +forty-seven.'</p> + +<p>I have often been asked, 'How is it that Ireland could formerly support +a population of eight millions as compared with only five now?'</p> + +<p>The answer is simple: Eight millions could still exist if the potato +crop were a certainty, and if the people were now content to exist as +they did then. But to the then existing population—living at best in a +light-hearted and hopeful, hand-to-mouth contentment—there was a +terrible awakening.</p> + +<p>The mysterious blight, which had affected the potato in America in 1844, +had not been felt in Ireland, where the harvest for 1845 promised to be +singularly abundant. Suddenly, almost without warning, the later crop +shrivelled and wasted.</p> + +<p>The poor had a terribly hard winter, and the farmers borrowed heavily to +have means to till a larger amount of land in 1846.</p> + +<p>Once more the early prospects were admirable, and then in a single night +whole districts were blighted.</p> + +<p>This is how Mr. Steuart Trench described the catastrophe:—</p> + +<p>'On August 1, 1846, I was startled by a sudden and strange rumour that +all the potato fields in the district were blighted, and that a stench +had arisen emanating from their decaying stalk. The report was true, the +stalks being withered; and a new, strange stench was to be noticed which +became a well-known feature in 'the blight' for years after. On being +dug up it was found that the potato was rapidly blackening and melting +away. The stench generally was the first indication, the withered leaf +following in a day or two.'<a name="Page_51" id="Page_51" /></p> + +<p>The terrible sufferings which ensued were complicated by some blunders +of British statesmen.</p> + +<p>In 1845 Sir Robert Peel was Prime Minister. He imported Indian meal, and +established depots in the country, where it was sold to the people at +the lowest possible price, thus putting a complete check on private +enterprise.</p> + +<p>In 1846 Lord John Russell was Premier. He declined to follow the example +of Sir Robert Peel, because he considered that it interfered with Free +Trade, and, reversing the policy of his predecessor, announced that he +left the importation of meal to private enterprise.</p> + +<p>But capitalists having been alarmed, meal was not imported in sufficient +quantities, with the result that Indian corn rose to eighteen pounds a +ton, when it might have been laid in at the rate of eight pounds a ton.</p> + +<p>Had Lord John Russell's policy come first, and that of Sir Robert Peel +subsequently, the result would have been very different.</p> + +<p>The fight over the Corn Law question in England at the time was +decidedly an injury to Ireland, because the Protectionists minimised the +danger of famine in the winter of 1845 for fear of the calamity being +made a pretext for Free Trade.</p> + +<p>Dealing with an unforeseen calamity of such stupendous magnitude at long +range from Downing Street entailed delay; and public relief, waiting +until official investigation had tardily reported the hardships, +suffered in the truly distressful country.<a name="Page_52" id="Page_52" /></p> + +<p>The state of things round Bantry, of which I had accurate knowledge, was +appalling. I knew of twenty-three deaths in the poorhouse in twenty-four +hours. Again, on a relief road, two hours after I had passed, on my ride +home I saw three of the poor fellows stretched corpses on the stones +they had been breaking.</p> + +<p>The Registrar-General for Ireland, Mr. William Donelly, officially stated +that five hundred thousand one-roomed cabins had disappeared between the +census before the famine and the one after it.</p> + +<p>Whole families used to starve in their cabins without their plight being +discovered until the stench of their decaying corpses attracted notice.</p> + +<p>Some superstition also prevented even the children from eating the +myriads of blackberries which ripened on the bushes.</p> + +<p>Directly the calamity was comprehended, the English poured money into +the country with unbounded generosity, but the management was bad.</p> + +<p>The relief works organised by the Government took the form of draining +and road-making. This entailed delay, owing to the preliminary +surveying, and when employment could be given, the people were too +emaciated and feeble to work. All over Ireland unfinished roads leading +half way to places of no consequence are to-day grass-grown memorials of +that ghastly effort of State assistance.</p> + +<p>Almost the earliest of the private soup-kitchens for the relief of the +sufferers was that opened at Dingle under the joint initiative of Lady +Ventry, Mrs. Hickson, my future mother-in-law, and Mrs. Hussey, my +mother. So as not to pauperise the people, subscriptions of one penny a +week were asked from every house in the town. At ten in the morning +those who wanted it could get a pint per head of really excellent soup +for themselves and their families. Those who were known to be able to +pay had to contribute a penny; the really destitute had gratuitous +relief.<a name="Page_53" id="Page_53" /></p> + +<p>So bad was the famine that people coming in from the country fell in the +street never to rise again. One woman was found lying on the outskirts +of the town almost dead from starvation, her three children having +succumbed beside her, and had she not been carried to the soup-kitchen +she would not have survived them many hours.</p> + +<p>My wife well remembers another case. One day her mother emerged from a +cabin carrying what looked like a big bundle of clothes. It was the form +of an emaciated woman, whose four children and husband had all starved. +My mother-in-law took her to her own house, fed her at first with +spoonsful of soup, and kept her there until she had rebuilt her once +vigorous constitution.</p> + +<p>My wife subsequently recollects her as a hale, buxom, young widow coming +to say good-bye before emigrating to America.</p> + +<p>Very soon all the coffins had been exhausted, and in many places the +dead were taken to the graves and dropped in through the hinged bottom +of a trap-coffin.</p> + +<p>After soup had been introduced, Indian meal stirabout proved +efficacious, and it was distributed from large iron boilers set up by +the roadside to the gaunt, cadaverous wretches who scuffled for the +sustenance.</p> + +<p>Even more terrible than those privations was the fever which supervened. +Apart from the lack of food, a great cause of mortality lay in the +change of diet. Potatoes form a bulky article of food, and stirabout, +unless very carefully made, used to swell after it was consumed. Many, +too, ate raw turnips from sheer destitution, and these also caused +swelling of the stomach as well as a dysentery almost always fatal in a +few days.<a name="Page_54" id="Page_54" /></p> + +<p>Numbers of starving Catholics had gone to Protestant clergymen and +offered to become converts in return for food, and when some of these +sickened with the fever, the priests declared it was a judgment on them, +and religious hostility became intensified.</p> + +<p>At Dingle Lady Ventry and her helpers were denounced from the pulpits as +'benevolent sisters bent on superising the poor'—to superise being the +improvised verb for Protestantising, a thing they decidedly did not +attempt.</p> + +<p>A very early instance of the open-air cure never before recorded took +place at Lismore. When every possible place in the hospital had been +filled with fever patients, a number had to be lodged in a disused +quarry near the Blackwater, and of the latter not a single sufferer +died, though the mortality within doors was excessive.</p> + +<p>I remember one rather quaint incident.</p> + +<p>A large amount of sea biscuit was brought into a house for distribution +by a benevolent gentleman. His daughter, aged seven, surreptitiously +stole a biscuit for the purpose of eating it. But at the first attempt +to bite the tough thing, out came a loose tooth. She howled with fright, +thinking it a judgment on her for her misdeed, and went in tears to tell +her mother.</p> + +<p>I have always hoped the latter had enough sense of humour to laugh at +the incident, but my shrewd suspicion is that she improved the +occasion—an error for which there is always temptation, and on which +there is often the retribution of the few words having the opposite +effect to that intended.<a name="Page_55" id="Page_55" /></p> + +<p>The conduct of the landlords during the famine and fever has been much +discussed and variously represented. But many of the Nationalists +themselves have declared that the diatribes of their comrades have been +thoroughly undeserved. Absenteeism apart—for which no excuse need be +attempted—the Irish landlords did their best, gave of their substance, +and imperilled their own lives for the sake of the sufferers. Mr. +Richard White of Inchiclogh, near Bantry, fell a victim to the fever. +Two other landlords who gave their lives for others were Mr. Richard +Martin, M.P., and Mr. Nolan of Ballinderry. The conditions of tenure did +not admit of lavish financial generosity, but as one of their sharpest +critics in later times admitted, the vast majority 'went down with the +ship.'</p> + +<p>The survivors of this terrible time numbered heroes drawn from all +classes of life; and it would have been well if the lesson of universal +charity then practically demonstrated had been allowed to sink into all +hearts.</p> + +<p>Instead I will quote the following extract from John Mitchel's <i>History +of Ireland</i>, a thick, paper-bound volume, which, at the price of +eighteenpence, has circulated enormously among the Irish, not only at +home, but in Glasgow and America.</p> + +<p>On page 243:—'That million and a half of men, women, and children were +carefully, prudently, and peacefully <i>slain</i>' [the italics are those of +Mitchel] 'by the English Government. They died of hunger in the midst of +abundance which their own hands created; and it is quite immaterial to +distinguish those who perished in the agonies of famine itself from +those who died by typhus fever, which in Ireland is always caused by +famine.<a name="Page_56" id="Page_56" /></p> + +<p>'Further, this was strictly an <i>artificial</i> famine—that is to say, it +was a famine which desolated a rich and fertile island that produced +every year abundance and superabundance to sustain all her people and +many more. The English, indeed, call that famine a dispensation of +Providence, and ascribe it entirely to the blight of the potatoes. But +potatoes failed in like manner all over Europe, yet there was no famine +save in Ireland. The British account of the matter, then, is first a +fraud; second, a blasphemy. The Almighty, indeed, sent the potato +blight, but the English created the famine.'</p> + +<p>Such pestilential perversion of truth is freely circulated and firmly +believed, for contradiction never penetrates to those gulled by these +lies. In America the gutter press section of journalism is esteemed at +its true worth, and is as harmless as a few squibs. In Ireland what is +seen in bad print is always believed, and is corroborated by the lower +class of priest. When I say so much I am simply indicating a national +sore, but it needs a wiser physician than myself to apply a successful +remedy.</p> + +<p>Perhaps with the spread of education may arise the same power to +discriminate between the true and false published in the papers that is +a characteristic of both the English and Scottish. As it is, the +Irishman believes whatever he reads in print; and in most cases the +solitary paper that he reads is one full of treason and untruths.</p> + +<p>When the famine took place, the Irish fled as from a plague to America, +and when they landed there both men and women were the prey of every +blackguard without a single person to advise or protect them.</p> + +<p>Had the Government taken the movement in hand and employed agents at New +York to provide for them until they obtained employment, and to direct +them where to apply for it, England would to-day probably have had a +grateful nation on the other side of the Atlantic. Instead, we have a +hostile multitude which neglects no opportunity of voting for any +politician hostile to Great Britain; and this disaffection sadly +militates against that union of Anglo-Saxon hearts, which is so freely +accepted by journalists and politicians as a sort of millennium.<a name="Page_57" id="Page_57" /></p> + +<p>Miss Cobbe related a story about a steady-going girl who had received +money from her sister who was doing well in New York to pay her passage +money out.</p> + +<p>She told Miss Cobbe how she had been to an emigration office and booked +her passage.</p> + +<p>'Direct to New York, of course.'</p> + +<p>'Well no, Miss. But to some place close by, New something else.'</p> + +<p>'New something else near New York?'</p> + +<p>'Yes; I disremember what it was, but he said it was quite handy for New +York.'</p> + +<p>'Not New Orleans, surely?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, Miss, that was it, New Orleans, quite near New York,' he said.</p> + +<p>The scoundrelly agent had taken her passage money and sent her off +absolutely friendless to New Orleans, where she died of a fever in less +than a year.</p> + +<p>Many of the three million emigrants after the famine must have been as +easily duped.</p> + +<p>A considerable time ago (but if I were in Kerry I could give the date +from my diary, because I met the man at a dinner given at the St. +James's Club by Lord Kenmare's son-in-law, Mr. Douglas) one of the big +New World railway companies sent over an emissary to the British +Government.</p> + +<p>He was charged to offer to take every distressed man in Ireland, with +his priest—if he would go—piper, cat, wife, sister, mother, and +children, to the land through which the great railway ran. Each man was +to be given a log-house with three rooms, one hundred and sixty acres, +ten of them under cultivation, and no residence was to be more than ten +miles from a railway station. All that was asked in return was a loan +for ten years without interest to cover the expenses of transportation.<a name="Page_58" id="Page_58" /></p> + + +<p>I rather think Mr. Chichester Fortescue was the Chief Secretary. Anyhow, +whoever occupied that post urged the Cabinet to accept the offer. The +conclave wavered, but Mr. Gladstone firmly vetoed the idea. He was +afraid the plan would be unpopular with the priests, who would see +themselves bereft of the favourite members of their congregations.</p> + +<p>Instead of this admirable scheme, we have ever since had the pitiable +sight of the parents, the sisters, and the sweetheart crooning over the +emigration of the best able-bodied young men from Ireland.</p> + +<p>No one who has heard the keening and wailing, say at Limerick Junction, +over Paddy going over the water will forget the appealing sorrow of the +scene, the sound of which rings long in one's ears after the train has +gone out of sight.</p> + +<p>The emigrant has been the theme of song and story. He has also been one +of the finest recruits of the United States, whilst he is a stigma on +English politics, and a drain on the land which in all Europe can least +afford to spare him.</p> + +<p>Mr. Wyndham's new Act will not arrest emigration, indeed it will +probably increase it.</p> + +<p>At present the landlord is often able to put pressure on his tenants to +give employment to respectable men. But the small farmer is certain to +use as few men as possible. You can see the analogy in contemporary +France. Therefore more families will see the pride of their cabins +starting for the New World.<a name="Page_59" id="Page_59" /></p> + +<p>Perhaps what I am proudest of, was being called in an address in Kerry +'the poor man's friend,' for it is what I have always striven to be.</p> + +<p>But if I were to be a young man to-morrow, instead of a day older than I +am to-day, I should be powerless to merit such a title in years to come.</p> + +<p>And the reason, as I have just indicated, is the fault of the +Government.</p> + +<p>I sometimes think the canniest man of whom I ever heard was the old +Scottish minister who was accustomed to preface his extempore petition +with the words:—</p> + +<p>'My britheren, let us noo pray that the High Court of Parliament winna +do ony harm.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII" />CHAPTER VII<a name="Page_60" id="Page_60" /></h2> + +<h4>FENIANISM</h4> + + +<p>I am quite aware the opinion I am about to deliver will cause great +surprise, but I give it after mature consideration, supported by all my +knowledge of Ireland.</p> + +<p>It is this:—</p> + +<p>The old Fenianism was politically of little account, socially of no +danger, except to a few individuals who could be easily protected, and +has been grossly exaggerated, either wilfully or through ignorance.</p> + +<p>Matters were very different after Mr. Gladstone, by successive acts, of +what I maintain were criminal legislation, deliberately fostered treason +and encouraged outrage in Ireland.</p> + +<p>Irish agitation would never have reached genuine importance unless it +had been steadily assisted in its noisome growth by the so-called Grand +Old Man, at whose grave may be laid every calamity which has affected +Ireland since it had the misfortune to arouse his interest, and the ill +effects of whose demoralising interference will bear fruit for many +years to come.</p> + +<p>This is set down in sober earnest and in as unprejudiced a spirit as it +is possible for any sincerely patriotic—using the word in its true and +not in its debased meaning—Irishman to feel when he is thoroughly +acquainted with all the niceties of the national history for the past +sixty years.</p> + +<p>I am far from saying that subsequent British cabinets have always +understood the Irish questions, but they are at least only reaping the +whirlwind where Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind.<a name="Page_61" id="Page_61" /></p> + +<p>I would broadly characterise as Fenian every Irish outbreak or +ebullition in the nineteenth century up to the time of the baneful +influence of the man who conducted the Midlothian campaign.</p> + +<p>Half the tumultuous efforts of the earlier movements would have been +rendered ridiculous had it been possible to have them contemporaneously +examined by a few special correspondents. I can imagine the +representative of the <i>Daily Mail</i> finding material for very few +sensational headlines in the Whiteboys Insurrection.</p> + +<p>As for the tales of single-handed terrorism, these in Ireland did +nursery duty to alarm imaginative children, just as the adventures of +Dick Turpin and Jack Sheppard or the kidnapping of heirs by gipsies +serve as stories to thrill English little ones.</p> + +<p>Of course in 1789 to have killed three Protestants was counted a +passport into heaven in the vicinity of Vinegar Hill. But Father +Matthew's temperance crusade was worth more salvation to the nation, and +mere threatening letters count for nothing. I have had over one hundred +in my time, yet I'll die in my bed for all that.</p> + +<p>My father-in-law had a pretty solid contempt for the Whiteboys—not the +original breed, but those who assumed the title in Kerry early in the +nineteenth century.</p> + +<p>He was told that these miscreants had a plan to surround his house that +night and to shoot everybody in it, and at that very moment they were +confabulating at a certain farmhouse.</p> + +<p>Refusing to be escorted or guarded, he made his way to that farm, and +walking into the kitchen, rated the lot of them in unmeasured terms.<a name="Page_62" id="Page_62" /></p> + +<p>Cowed and abashed they listened to him as he threatened the law, hell, +and the devil alone knows what beside. Finally, pistol in hand, he bade +them produce their arms and put them in his dog-cart.</p> + +<p>This they actually did—for they had imbibed no liquor to give them +false pluck—and, with a final curse, he whipped up his horse and drove +away 'with all their teeth' to the barracks, where he left a very useful +arsenal, and was never troubled by one of them again.</p> + +<p>To thus obtain complete immunity by sheer coolness is as much a matter +of personal magnetism as anything else. An instance of this, which +impressed me much, occurred in a coiner-ghost story told by Mr. T.P. +O'Connor, which I venture to quote.</p> + +<p>'The hero was no less a person than Marshal Saxe. One night, on the +march, he bivouacked in a haunted castle, and slept the sleep of the +brave until midnight, when he was awakened by hideous howls heralding +the approach of the spectre. When it appeared, the Marshal first +discharged his pistol point-blank at it without effect, and then struck +it with his sabre, which was shivered in his hand. The invulnerable +spectre then beckoned the amazed Marshal to follow, and preceded him to +a spot where the floor of the gallery suddenly yawned, and they sank +together through it to sepulchral depths. Here he was surrounded by a +band of desperate coiners who would forthwith have made away with him if +the Marshal had not told them who he was, and warned them that if he +disappeared his army would dig to the earth's centre to find him, and +would infallibly find and finish every one of them.</p> + +<p>'"If I am reconducted to my chamber by this steel-clad spectre and +allowed to sleep undisturbed until morning, I promise never to relate +this adventure while any harm can happen to you by my telling it."<a name="Page_63" id="Page_63" /></p> + +<p>'To this the coiners after consultation agreed. He was led back to bed, +and next morning ridiculed all spectral stories to his officers. It was +not until the world of coiners was finally broken up that he related his +experiences.'</p> + +<p>In that story I wonder who went bail for the Marshal's truth. Veracity +and gallantry may not have gone hand in hand, or perhaps they were +affianced, and therefore took care not to come near one another.</p> + +<p>Another sort of gallantry was noteworthy in what was known as Young +Ireland, for in 'the set' were several ladies, Eva, Mary, and Speranza, +all prone to write seditious verse. Eva was Miss Mary Kelly, daughter of +a Galway gentleman, who promised her lover to wait while he underwent +ten years penal servitude, and kept her word, marrying him at Kingstown +two days after his release. 'Mary' was Miss Ellen Downing, whose lover +was also a fugitive after the outbreak; but he proved unfaithful, and +she was one of the last I heard of who died of pining away. It used to +be much talked of in my young days. Perhaps now that it is not, it more +often occurs. 'Speranza' was Lady Wilde, a fluent poet and essayist, who +survived her husband the archæologist. One of her children inherited +much of her talent, but bears a chequered fame. I always thought the wit +of Oscar Wilde anything but Irish, and was always glad it possessed no +national attributes—unless impudence was one.</p> + +<p>At one of his own first nights in London (I think it was on the occasion +of the production of <i>An Ideal Husband</i> at the Haymarket) he was +summoned before the curtain by the customary shouts for 'Author, +author.'</p> + +<p>He stood there for a moment amid the cheering, and then, in response to +cries for a speech, calmly took a cigarette case out of his pocket, +selected one of the contents, and, having very deliberately lighted it, +said:—<a name="Page_64" id="Page_64" /></p> + +<p>'Ladies and gentlemen, I do not know what you have done, but I have +spent a very pleasant evening with my own play. Good night.'</p> + +<p>His brother, known as 'Wuffalo Will' among his friends, is the hero of +many stories.</p> + +<p>Once he went up to a policeman and said:—</p> + +<p>'Which is the way to heaven?'</p> + +<p>'I don't know, sir; better ask a parson.'</p> + +<p>'What do you think I pay taxes for? It's your business to be able to +tell me the way to heaven. As for the bally parsons, they don't +understand.'</p> + +<p>A broad smile came over the constable's face.</p> + +<p>'Were you asking where you could get blind drunk comfortably, sir? +because if so—'</p> + +<p>And out came the hint with a wink.</p> + +<p>Wilde was fond of that tale at one time.</p> + +<p>The affair of ''48' was a farce. Stimulated by the French Revolution, +John Mitchel wrote rabid sedition, but received short shrift at the +hands of the Government, who arrested him, sentenced him to fourteen +years' transportation, and almost from the dock he was taken manacled in +a police van, escorted by cavalry, and put on board a steamer, which at +once put out to sea.</p> + +<p>Smith O'Brien was the leader of this feeble insurrection. He had boasted +he would be at the head of fifty thousand Tipperary men. Instead his +army consisted of a few hundred half-clad ragamuffins, which attacked a +squad of police who took refuge in a farmhouse, and easily routed the +rabble.</p> + +<p>Smith O'Brien proved himself an arrant coward. He hid in a cabbage +garden, and is still believed to have made his temporary escape from the +police in the habit of an Anglican sisterhood, of which his sister, Hon. +Mrs. Monsell, was Mother Superior.<a name="Page_65" id="Page_65" /></p> + +<p>The bigger outbreak was not a bit more serious. It was all trumped up by +the Irish in America, and their reliance upon help from American +soldiers was destroyed after the war. This agitation was the one known +as the work of the Phoenix Society, and the object was the separation of +Ireland from England and the confiscation of Irish property.</p> + +<p>The leaders were James Stephens, who had nearly escaped being shot by a +policeman in the Smith O'Brien campaign, and that indomitable scoundrel +O'Donovan Rossa. It was at this time we began to hear of mysterious +strangers. In this case it was Stephens; later Parnell wrapped himself +in strange isolation; and subsequently Tynan, who was known as 'Number +One.'</p> + +<p>Cork and Kerry were the chosen parts of Ireland for the new Fenianism to +come to a head, and a certain amount of enrolling and drilling did take +place.</p> + +<p>I was then residing within two miles of the city of Cork, and one night +the Fenians came out and encamped all round my house, without offering +the slightest molestation or injury to anybody.</p> + +<p>Two Fenians walked into the house of my stableman, about a quarter of a +mile from my own, and asked for food, saying they were ready to pay for +it.</p> + +<p>The woman replied that she had no food in the house, but the breakfast +of her brother Charles, which she was about to take to him in the +stables.</p> + +<p>They wanted to pay her a shilling for it, but she declined, and then +they went away quietly.</p> + +<p>The principal outbreak was to be in Killarney, and they plotted to +attack the police barrack at Cahirciveen, because they had an ally in +the son of the head constable.<a name="Page_66" id="Page_66" /></p> + +<p>But a man in the town, to whom he had shown kindness, warned the head +constable of the attack, which in the end consisted of a few shots fired +by a ragged rabble of about three hundred, half of whom were +half-hearted, and the other half half-drunk.</p> + +<p>The coastguards manned their boat and rowed off to a gunboat in the +harbour to ask for some marines; and the moment this was known to the +besiegers they dispersed. Some of them marched rather downcast towards +Killarney, and on the road they met a mounted policeman riding to warn +Cahirciveen of the attack which was to be made against the barracks, for +every movement of this silly rebellion was known to the Government.</p> + +<p>They called on the man to stop and deliver up his despatches. He +declined to do so, and so soon as he had ridden on they shot him in the +back, wounding him badly.</p> + +<p>He recovered, but was very shabbily treated by the Government, who only +awarded him a miserably small pension, a niggardly act which aroused +much dissatisfaction.</p> + +<p>The Roman Catholic Bishop of Killarney, Doctor Moriarty, protested +strongly against the cowardice of the Fenians, who were afraid to face +one armed man, and waited until his back was turned before they shot +him.</p> + +<p>However, as I have indicated, the Fenian movement was very +insignificant, and was known in all its aspects to the Government, which +dealt pretty roughly with it.</p> + +<p>It is a singular fact that in the Fenian councils Killarney should have +been selected for the outbreak.</p> + +<p>This is a town where nearly all the landed proprietors were Roman +Catholics, where there was a Catholic Bishop, a monastery and two +convents, while one half-ruined Protestant church sufficed to +accommodate the few worshippers who sat under a dreary, inoffensive +vicar on a very small salary. All reasonable folk, moreover, know that +Killarney is the town to which, more than any other in Ireland, it is +important to attract British tourists.<a name="Page_67" id="Page_67" /></p> + +<p>It was well known that some of the promoters and instigators of the +movement betrayed it before its very inception to the Government; and +Bishop Moriarty, from his pulpit, in his sermon alluded in no measured +language to those criminals who instigated the innocent peasants to play +a part in this mock insurrection, and then betrayed them.</p> + +<p>He concluded:—</p> + +<p>'It may be a hard saying, but surely hell is not too hot nor eternity +too long for the punishment of such villainy.'</p> + +<p>Yet the whole of Irish history is disfigured by the poisonous trail of +the insidious informer.</p> + +<p>I was in Kerry at the time of the Cahirciveen fizzle, in the +neighbourhood of Dingle, and it was rumoured that the insurrection was +to be general.</p> + +<p>That was not my opinion, for I travelled on an open car by myself, with +a large quantity of money, and no other weapon than an umbrella.</p> + +<p>It was a very different state of affairs in the distress caused by Mr. +Gladstone's legislation, for then I never travelled without a revolver, +and occasionally was accompanied by a Winchester rifle. I used to place +my revolver as regularly beside my fork on the dinner-table, either in +my own or in anybody else's house, as I spread my napkin on my knees.</p> + +<p>And yet it is strangely difficult to see any other cause than Mr. +Gladstone's Acts for such ill-feeling.<a name="Page_68" id="Page_68" /></p> + +<p>As my sworn evidence, on which I was cross-examined in the Parnell +Commission, showed, I had only ten evictions in six years among two +thousand tenants.</p> + +<p>I should like to ask, in what class of life is there not more than one +in twelve hundred that gets into financial troubles in a year?</p> + +<p>In the insurance world such a ratio of claims to premiums would make a +perfect fortune to the companies.</p> + +<p>The tenants were not associated with the Fenian movement at all, the +outbreak being solely confined to the townsfolk, which, in Ireland, +helped to make it a feeble affair. I did not know one <i>bona fide</i> farmer +that was connected with the movement, and though the arms were mainly +smuggled in from America, mighty little hard cash came to the pockets of +any but the leaders.</p> + +<p>Stephens was the original 'Number One,' and he was let out of Kilmainham +by the chief warder's wife. No one knew where he was to be found, but +the police, who were well aware that he was devoted to his own wife, +kept a strict watch on her, and eventually caught him through his +opening communications with her.</p> + +<p>When the hue and cry was loudest, it was reported he had come to Cork to +foster the Fenian movement, and that he was disguised in feminine garb.</p> + +<p>One day my wife found her steps dogged by a man in the most aggravating +way, for he followed her into three shops without attempting to speak to +her, his only desire being to shadow her, which he was doing in the most +clumsy manner.</p> + +<p>I was away at Dingle for the day, so my wife went into the establishment +of the leading linen-draper, and sending for the head of the firm, asked +him to speak to the man, who was then pretending to buy some tape.</p> + +<p>It turned out that he was a detective fresh from Dublin, who had taken +it into his head that she was Stephens, and was most apologetic, as well +as crestfallen, at his error.<a name="Page_69" id="Page_69" /></p> + +<p>Some time after this Fenian fizzle, my coachman saw a number of people +being chased by the police for drilling; and about two years later, when +I sent him to the Cork barracks on private business, he told me that he +there noticed some of the very people who had been routed by the +constabulary, but this time they were being drilled by the Government as +militia.</p> + +<p>I have always had a theory that Ireland was created by Providence for +the express purpose of bothering philosophers, and preventing them or +politicians from thinking themselves too wise.</p> + +<p>At the time when the Fenian scare was damaging Killarney as a tourist +resort, Sir Michael Morris—as he then was—was staying at Morley's +Hotel in London, and saw in the American paper lying on the table a +vivid account of how the Fenian army had attacked a British garrison, +and would have easily captured the stronghold had not an overpowering +force of English cavalry and artillery hurried up to deliver the +besieged.</p> + +<p>Of course, the facts were, that in County Limerick several hundred +'patriots,' led by a man in a green calico uniform, attacked a police +barrack in which were five constables. Keeping as much out of range of +the constabulary fire as possible, they had exchanged a few shots when a +District Inspector of Police, who resided some eight miles off, arrived +with ten constables on a couple of cars, at the sight of which +stupendous relieving force, the whole corps of young Irishmen bolted.</p> + +<p>Morris gave the waiter a shilling for the paper—and took it off his tip +at leaving, no doubt—and carefully treasured the journal until he went +to hold the next assizes at Limerick, when he found the bulk of the +attacking army in the dock before him.<a name="Page_70" id="Page_70" /></p> + +<p>When the D.I. was giving evidence, Morris asked him:—</p> + +<p>'Where were the British cavalry?'</p> + +<p>'What cavalry, my lord? Why, there was none.</p> + +<p>'Oh ho,' says the judge. 'And where was the artillery?'</p> + +<p>'Faith, my lord, there was as much artillery as there was cavalry, and +that would not get in the way of a donkey race.'</p> + +<p>Then Morris, with appropriate solemnity, proceeded to read out the +newspaper account for the benefit of the audience. The whole Court was +convulsed with laughter, in which the prisoners in the dock heartily +joined.</p> + +<p>After the trial was over, a parish priest came to congratulate Morris, +and said to him:—</p> + +<p>'My lord, you have laughed Fenianism out of Limerick.'</p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<br /> +<a name="MRSHUSSEY" id="MRSHUSSEY" /> + <a href="images/image02.jpg"> + <img src="images/image02_thumb.jpg" alt="Mrs. Hussey" title="Mrs. Hussey" /> + </a> +<p class="figcenter">Mrs. Hussey</p> +<br /> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII" />CHAPTER VIII<a name="Page_71" id="Page_71" /></h2> + + +<h4>MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES</h4> + + +<p>In 1850 I became agent to the Colthurst property, which consisted of +most of the parish of Ballyvourney, one estate alone containing about +twenty-three thousand acres. The rental was then over £4600. There were +only three slated houses on the property, hardly any out-buildings, only +seven miles of road under contract, and about twenty acres planted.</p> + +<p>By 1880 the landlord had expended £30,000 on improvements, there were +over one hundred slated houses, about sixty miles of roads, and over +four hundred acres planted.</p> + +<p>Under the Land Act of 1881 the rent was reduced to £3600.</p> + +<p>That was the encouragement officially given to the landlord for +assisting in the improvement of his property.</p> + +<p>From the time of Moses downwards, the policy of all Governments has been +to give relief to the debtor. By the Encumbered Estate Act, which was +passed just after the famine, special relief was given to the creditor.</p> + +<p>What the English view was may be taken from the <i>Times</i>—</p> + +<p>'In a few years more, a Celtic Irishman will be as rare in Connemara as +is the Red Indian on the shores of Manhattan.'</p> + +<p>That is to say, English capital was at last to flow into Ireland for the +purchase of encumbered estates, but the anticipation of course was +erroneous.</p> + +<p>English capital was placed for preference in Turkish and in Egyptian +bonds, to the great loss of all concerned. As for Ireland, out of the +first twenty millions realised by the new Court, over seventeen was +Irish money; and at the outset there was an inevitable downward tendency +of prices which involved heavy depreciation.<a name="Page_72" id="Page_72" /></p> + +<p>Credit was destroyed in Ireland, and every man who owed a shilling was +utterly ruined. Had the Government given loans at a reasonable rate of +interest, which would have amply repaid them, all this could have been +saved. As it was, properties were sold like chairs and tables at a +paltry auction, and in thousands of cases the judge expressed himself +satisfied that the rent could have been considerably increased.</p> + +<p>I knew one unfortunate shopkeeper who paid £6000 for a property under +these circumstances; and in place of an increase of rent, the +confiscators—that is to say the commissioners imposed by Mr. +Gladstone—took a third of the rental off him.</p> + +<p>Those purchasers who were English conceived when they bought properties +that they would get as much from them as the solvent tenants were +willing to pay. The legislation of Mr. Gladstone in coalition with the +blunderbuss soon put an end to the pleasing delusion. It was one more of +the English mistakes about Ireland, where, when the tenant is content to +pay, the British Government and the Land League both combine to prevent +him from offering a reasonable rent to a landlord.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, even the most seditionary organs confessed that the +tenants gained little and lost much by the change from the old type of +landlord to the new, for the latter, being practical men, had no +sympathy for the man who was permanently behindhand with his rent. And +no one can say that this habitual arrear was a healthy stimulus to the +moral wellbeing of the tenant himself, though he felt aggrieved at its +being checked.<a name="Page_73" id="Page_73" /></p> + +<p>There is not the least need to sketch how I gradually became one of the +largest land agents in Ireland. It has been published in other books, +and would only prove wearisome if set out in detail in this volume. So I +will merely observe that only two years after the big Fenian rising, as +it was called—which I should describe as being composed of a rabble of +less importance than the ragamuffins led by Wat Tyler—so little was I +impressed by its magnitude that I went to live at Edenburn. There I laid +out a lot of money in rebuilding the house, spending over £2000 in +additions. This was most idiotic of me, because I had not counted on the +infernal devices of Mr. Gladstone to render Ireland uninhabitable for +peaceful and law-abiding folk.</p> + +<p>When I first settled down there, labourers were working at eightpence or +tenpence a day. Now the lowest rate is two shillings. The labourer +rectified this rate by emigration, and if the farmers, who could more +advantageously have emigrated, had done so, the cry for compulsory +reduction would never have arisen.</p> + +<p>Thus far I have dealt with facts and myself as concerned in them, but I +propose now to relate a few stories, a thing more congenial to my +temperament than any other form of conversational exercise. Whether it +will equally commend itself to the reader is a matter on which I, as an +aged novice in literature, though hopeful, am of course uncertain.</p> + +<p>Indeed I am in exactly the predicament of a farmer's wife who was asked +by the Dowager Lady Godfrey, after a month of marriage, how she liked +her husband.</p> + +<p>'I had plenty of recommendation with him,' was the reply, 'but I have +not had enough trial of him yet to say for sure.'</p> + +<p>There is a story about a honeymoon couple at Killarney which is worth +telling.<a name="Page_74" id="Page_74" /></p> + +<p>The bridegroom had a valet, a good, faithful fellow, long in his +service, but talkative, a thing his master loathed. He said to him:—</p> + +<p>'John, I've often told you to hold your tongue about my affairs. This +time I emphatically mean it. If you tell the people in the hotel that I +am on my honeymoon, I'll sack you on the spot.'</p> + +<p>So John promised to be as silent as the grave, but on the third +afternoon, as the happy pair were ascending the stairs of the Victoria +Hotel, they saw by the giggles and smirks of the chambermaids that their +secret had been discovered.</p> + +<p>The bridegroom rang his bell and went for John in a towering passion, +but the fellow held his ground.</p> + +<p>'Is it not unfair the way you are taking on? Sure the other servants did +ask me if you were on your honeymoon, but I was even with them, for I +told them "devil a bit, your honour was not going to marry the lady +until next month."'</p> + +<p>I do not know how that alliance turned out, but the happy pair left the +hotel early next morning.</p> + +<p>I can tell rather more about the matrimonial experiences of an +Archdeacon at Cork, who married firstly a woman who was very fond of +society. She died, and he then married another, who grew very stout. She +also died, and the indefatigable cleric married as his third experiment +a widow cursed with a very violent temper.</p> + +<p>He was one day chaffed on the practical demonstration he had given to +the Romish doctrine of the celibacy of the Church, when he said:—</p> + +<p>'After all they were a trial, for I married the world, the flesh, and +lastly the devil, and now I tremble whenever I think of recognition in +eternity.'<a name="Page_75" id="Page_75" /></p> + +<p>This Cork story comes naturally, because at that time I was living near +Cork and very happily too.</p> + +<p>Now and again we took trips up to Dublin when I had business there.</p> + +<p>I am not much of a playgoer, but in Dublin we always went to the theatre +on the chance of hearing some of the proverbial wit of its gallery.</p> + +<p>On one occasion, a lady in the play, when her lover had had some doubt +of her fidelity, exclaimed:—</p> + +<p>'Would there were a mirror in my side that you could see into my heart.'</p> + +<p>Whereupon a voice from the gods shouted:—</p> + +<p>'Would not a pain [<i>i.e.</i> pane] in your stomach do as well. I have one +myself.'</p> + +<p>Lord Chancellor Brady was of a notoriously convivial temperament, which +did not prevent him being an admirable lawyer when he would allow his +wits to get their heads above water, so to speak, though it was little +enough that he used to dilute his spirits.</p> + +<p>When Jenny Lind sang in some Italian opera, he occupied a seat in the +vice-regal box, and gazed at her through a portentously enormous +<i>lorgnette</i>.</p> + +<p>This was too much for a wag in the gallery, who yelled:—</p> + +<p>'Brady, me jewel, I'm glad to see you're fond of a big glass yet.'</p> + +<p>At the time of the Crimean War, John Reynolds, a very energetic citizen, +was perpetually raising the question about the dangerous practice of +driving outside cars from the side instead of the box—in which he was +undoubtedly right.</p> + +<p>When he went to the theatre, a gallery boy shouted:—</p> + +<p>'Three cheers for Alderman John Reynolds the hero of Kars.'<a name="Page_76" id="Page_76" /></p> + +<p>The Lord Mayor of the period who sat beside him was a tallow chandler, +and the same spokesman shouted out:—</p> + +<p>'Three cheers for his grease the Lord Mayor just back from the races at +Tallagh.'</p> + +<p>That sort of thing seems to be particularly indigenous, the only +parallel being when undergraduates or medical students get gathered +together.</p> + +<p>The eloquence of Irish members in the House of Commons has really +nothing to do with my reminiscences, but I remember one occasion when it +was uncommonly well excelled by a stolid Englishman.</p> + +<p>Fergus O'Connor—an Irishman, as his name betrays—was an ardent +Chartist, and before the Reform Bill was introduced he said in the House +that he had been accused of being a personal enemy of King William's. +This was quite untrue, for if there were only good laws he did not care +if the devil were King of England.</p> + +<p>Sir Robert Peel replied:—</p> + +<p>'When the honourable member is gratified by seeing the sovereign of his +choice on the throne of these realms, I hope he will enjoy, and I am +sure he will deserve, the confidence of the Crown.'</p> + +<p>Whilst I am anecdotal, perhaps I had better say something about books +into which my stories have been pressed. I was always given to telling +tales, but of course my great time was when Lord Morris and I would sit +trying to cap one another. If he were ever too idle to remember an +anecdote of his own, he would reel off one of mine: as for his own fund +of stories and humour ever approaching exhaustion, that was not to be +thought of. He was far and away the wittiest man I ever met, and if I do +not quote one of his tales on this page it is because no single sample +can show the superb richness of his vintage, and more than one of his +brand will be found scattered in the present volume.<a name="Page_77" id="Page_77" /></p> + +<p>I gave a good many anecdotes to my dear old friend Mr. W.R. Le +Fanu—cheeriest of fishermen, kindest of jolly good fellows—for his +garrulous book. He observes in his preface that he makes his first +attempt at writing in his eight-and-seventieth year. I am nearly +twenty-four months his senior when thus far on the road of these +reminiscences. I also echo another phrase of his:—</p> + +<p>'I trust I have said nothing to hurt the feelings of any of my +fellow-countrymen.'</p> + +<p>Just one quotation—and only a little one—which is not mine, but the +warning which Sheridan Le Fanu, author of that capital novel <i>Uncle +Silas</i>, gave in the <i>Dublin University Magazine</i> against matrimony:—</p> + +<p>'Marriage is like the smallpox. A man may have it mildly, but he +generally carries the marks of it with him to his grave.'</p> + +<p>And very true too in his division of an Irishman's life into three +parts:—</p> + +<p>'The first is that in which he is plannin' and conthrivin' all sorts of +villainy and rascality; that is the period of youth and innocence. The +second is that in which he is puttin' into practice the villainy and +rascality he contrived before; that is the prime of life or the flower +of manhood. The third and last period is that in which he is makin' his +soul and preparin' for another world; that is the period of dotage.'</p> + +<p>Shakespeare's seven ages of man may have been more poetical, but it does +not betray a closer grip of the Irish temperament.</p> + +<p>My other appearance as a literary ghost or rather as an anonymous +contributor was when I supplied Mrs. O'Connell with stories for <i>The +Last Count of the Irish Brigade</i>. That was about twenty years ago, and +therefore long after the death of the hero who was uncle to the +Liberator.<a name="Page_78" id="Page_78" /></p> + +<p>The writer was a daughter of Charles Bianconi, the originator of all the +mail-cars in Ireland, who owned at one time sixteen hundred horses, and +always laughed at the idea of any violence on the part of the peasantry, +pointing out that though his cars daily covered four thousand miles in +twenty-two counties, no injury was ever done to any of his property.</p> + +<p>Mrs. O'Connell was married to a nephew of the great Dan, and he +represented Kerry in Parliament for nearly thirty years. He was an +intimate friend of Thackeray's, and gave him all the idioms of his +delightful Irish ballads. This O'Connell was a clever, amusing fellow, +and precious idle into the bargain.</p> + +<p>I remember one story he told me.</p> + +<p>Mrs. MacCarthy, near Millstreet, had a son, a small proprietor, and he +got married. The mother-in-law lived with the daughter-in-law, who had +rather grand ideas, and set up as parlour-maid in the house a raw lass +just taken from the dairy.</p> + +<p>One afternoon old Mrs. MacCarthy saw the parish priest coming to call, +and told the girl if he asked for Mrs. MacCarthy to say she was not in +but the dowager was.</p> + +<p>Now the maid had never heard the word dowager in her life, but thought +she would make a shot for it, so when his reverence asked if Mrs. +MacCarthy was at home, she blurted out:—</p> + +<p>'No, sir, but the badger is.'</p> + +<p>And to her dying day the relic of deceased MacCarthy went by the name of +'the badger.'<a name="Page_79" id="Page_79" /></p> + +<p>Now it is really time I related how my own beauty was spoilt, by +breaking my nose in 1858.</p> + +<p>I was racing the present Knight of Kerry and a young gunner named +Hickson—no relation—on the Strand, when the horse of the latter +collided with my own, and they both fell at the same time. He was a +loose rider, and being shot off some distance from his animal picked +himself up unhurt. I had always a tight grip, so I got entangled in the +saddle which twisted round, and my mare almost literally tore off my +face with her hind hoof.</p> + +<p>I walked back a quarter of a mile, trying to hold my face on to my head +with my hand; and in a month's time I was able to get about again, which +the doctor said was one of the quickest cases of healing he had ever +known.</p> + +<p>But I was absolutely unrecognised by my acquaintances when I reappeared, +and Mr. Dillon the R.M. actually took me for a walk in Tralee to see the +town, thinking I was a stranger, a situation the fun of which I heartily +appreciated.</p> + +<p>Before that infernal gallop I had a hooked nose like the Duke of +Wellington; and it's lucky I got married when I did, for no one would +have had me afterwards, though my own wife always says 'for shame' if I +make the remark in her presence, God bless her.</p> + +<p>When I went to the Abbey of St. Denis, near Paris, I told the verger I +was very anxious to see the likeness of the saint who had walked for six +miles with his head in his hand, because I was the nearest living +counterpart, having walked a quarter of a mile with my face in mine.</p> + +<p>Hickson was universally congratulated on his lucky escape. He went out +to India and was dead in eighteen months, and here am I at eighty with +half my face and some of my health still in spite of the attentive care +of my family and the doctor.<a name="Page_80" id="Page_80" /></p> + +<p>My present doctor is a capital fellow, and when he comes to see me he +laughs so much at my stories that I always think he ought to take me +half price. Instead of that he regards me as an animated laboratory for +his interesting chemical experiments; but I had the best of him last +time I was laid up, for I made him take a dose of the filthy compound he +had ordered for me the previous day.</p> + +<p>First he said he wouldn't, then he said he couldn't, but I said what was +not poison for the patient could not hurt the physician; and in the end +he had to swallow the dose, making far more fuss over its nasty taste +than I did. But I noted that he at once wrote me a new prescription, +which was as sweet as any advertised syrup, and further, that he +arranged his next visit should be just after I finished the bottle.</p> + +<p>However, that is years and years after the time of which I am treating.</p> + +<p>Yet I am tempted to anticipate, because the mention of Edenburn earlier +in this chapter suggests a quaint individual about whom a few +observations may be made.</p> + +<p>Bill Hogan was our factotum. He was stable-boy, steward, ladies'-maid, +and professional busybody, as well as a bit of a character, though he +possessed none worth mentioning.</p> + +<p>When we were packing up to leave Edenburn, my wife was watching him fill +two casks, one with home-made jam, the other with china.</p> + +<p>Called away to luncheon, she found on her return both casks securely +nailed down.</p> + +<p>'Oh, you should not have done that, Bill,' she said, 'for now we shan't +know which contains which.'</p> + +<p>'I thought of that, ma'am,' replies Bill, 'so I have written S for +chiney on the one, and G for jam on the other.'<a name="Page_81" id="Page_81" /></p> + +<p>Bill's orthography was obviously original.</p> + +<p>So was the drive he took with a certain cheery guest of mine one Sabbath +morning.</p> + +<p>The said guest desired more refreshment than he was likely to get at +that early hour at Edenburn, so he drove into Tralee, ostensibly to +church, and told Bill to have the car round at the club at one.</p> + +<p>'Well,' narrated Bill afterwards, 'out came the Captain from the club, +having a few drinks taken, and up he got on the car with my help, but at +the corner of Denny Street he pulled up at the whisky store, and said we +must drink the luck of the road. Well we drank the luck at every house +on the way out of the town, and presently in the road down came the +mare, pitching the Captain over the hedge, and marking her own knees, as +well as breaking the shaft. At last we all got home somehow, and there +in the yard was the master, looking us all three up and down as though +he were going to commit us all from the Bench. Then a twinkle came into +his eye, and he said as mild as a dove to the Captain, "I see by the +look of her knees you've been taking the mare to say her prayers."'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX" />CHAPTER IX<a name="Page_82" id="Page_82" /></h2> + +<h4>THE HARENC ESTATE</h4> + + +<p>So large a part has the purchase of this estate made in my more public +appearances, owing to the fact that I have been brought into general +notice through offensive legal proceedings, that a brief account of the +matter must form part of my reminiscences.</p> + +<p>Prior to 1878, a gentleman named Harenc, the owner of a large extent of +landed property in the north of Kerry, died.</p> + +<p>Who the estate subsequently belonged to I am uncertain. Anyhow, +according to the title-deeds, it was somehow divided among ten or twelve +individuals before the property came into the Land Estate Courts for +sale.</p> + +<p>This circumstance suggested to a large number of the tenantry that it +might be an opportunity to avail themselves of the provisions of the +Bright Clauses, and become pretty cheaply the owners of the land on +which they lived.</p> + +<p>After they had offered the sum of £75,000 for the estate, for the +purpose of splitting it up into small holdings, it was found that the +trustee had privately agreed to sell it to Mr. Goodman Gentleman, the +agent for the late Mr. Harenc, for £65,000.</p> + +<p>The tenants were not going to be frustrated by that—being Irishmen and +litigious, which is one and the same thing. So they appealed to the +Landed Estates Court, and induced Judge Ormsby to make an order +annulling the deed of sale, and directing that the property should be +put up in lots suitable to the purposes of the tenants.<a name="Page_83" id="Page_83" /></p> + +<p>Several of the tenants who did not want the property split up approached +me to suggest I should buy the property, and appeared by counsel—the +present Judge Johnson—in support of me.</p> + +<p>I met the tenants, and stated that if it fell to me I would give each of +them a lease of thirty-one years, and indemnify myself for the +purchase-money by a rise on the entire rental of five per cent, on the +valuation of each estate, according to current estimates, at which they +showed every sign of satisfaction.</p> + +<p>I then offered £80,000 for the whole estate, and was declared the +purchaser. A large bonfire was lighted on February 20th, 1878, by the +tenants at Aghabey, near Luxnow, on their being apprised I had become +their landlord.</p> + +<p>Another section of tenants, however, were anxious that the property +should be bought by Messrs. Lombard and Murphy, private individuals I +never met.</p> + +<p>The judge of the Landed Estate Court, Judge Ormsby, gave them the +property.</p> + +<p>I appealed against this decision, and the Court of Appeal unanimously +reversed the verdict of Judge Ormsby, the three judges being the Lord +Chancellor of Ireland, the Master of the Rolls—who said it was one of +the most important cases decided since the foundation of the Land +Court—and Lord Justice Deasy. I have been told on most excellent +authority that Lord Justice Christian declined to sit because, as he +told the Lord Chancellor, he felt so strongly in my favour that he could +not hear the case with an unbiassed mind.</p> + +<p>There had been a demonstration at the previous decision, but it paled +before the great rejoicings over my success among all the tenantry over +whom I was agent. There were more than fifty bonfires blazing that night +in Kerry, so that the county looked as though it were signalling the +advent of another Armada, as in the fragment Macaulay left. The only +place where any opposition was exhibited was in Castleisland, whence the +Lombard family originally sprang; and there the lighted tar-barrels, +which had been placed on the ruins of the old castle, were extinguished, +to avoid unpleasant contact with a gang of rowdy roughs.<a name="Page_84" id="Page_84" /></p> + +<p>Messrs. Lombard and Murphy had stated that they were buying on behalf of +the tenants. So I served them with notice that if they undertook to sell +to every tenant his own holding they might have the property.</p> + +<p>This they very wisely declined, and left me in the position that in 1879 +I finally purchased a property on what was called an indefeasible +Parliamentary title, under the approval of Her Majesty's Judges, and in +1881 an Act of Parliament practically took one-third of it from me.</p> + +<p>In 1881 I wrote a letter to Mr. Gladstone, asking him to take my +property and give me back my money.</p> + +<p>To this he returned an evasive answer, declining my offer.</p> + +<p>If the tenants had themselves bought the Harenc property at that time +they would by this time all be paupers, for they could only get +two-thirds of the money from Government, and would have had to borrow +the other third at a heavy rate of interest.</p> + +<p>One man, Mr. Hewson, bought one of the farms for £13,500, and under Mr. +Gerald Balfour's Act of 1896 it was compulsorily sold to the tenants for +about £6000. I have the exact figures at Tralee, but these are +approximate enough for the purpose of demonstration.<a name="Page_85" id="Page_85" /></p> + +<p>Several of the other tenants took me into Court.</p> + +<p>I had a piece of reclaimable ground on my own hands which I let for +eight shillings an acre. The adjoining tenant, with exactly the same +nature of land—which he swore on oath he had paid more than the +fee-simple in improving—had his rent fixed by the County Court at four +shillings an acre.</p> + +<p>To be sure, if the County Court valuer had not done so, he would have +quickly lost his employment. The position is one incompatible with +honesty, and the value of land, apart from what you can get for it, is a +very disputable matter.</p> + +<p>My relations with my Harenc tenantry were always good.</p> + +<p>After the purchase in 1879 I had no trouble with them, and on the +contrary received the warmest thanks from the parish priest for my +conduct as a landlord.</p> + +<p>I drained soil and imported seed potatoes, besides executing other +improvements. The estate was not in good order when I purchased it, and +I know from other sources that the tenants were well satisfied with me.</p> + +<p>I may as well mention, that having no agencies on the Listowel side of +Kerry, I was never on the Harenc property before the question of +purchasing arose, and it had on it no house in which I and my family +could reside.</p> + +<p>Until 1881 no tenant made any hostile move, but one fellow, who took me +into the Land Court after the Land Act, presented a very curious case.</p> + +<p>This man, whose rent was sixty-five pounds a year, applied to the Court +for reduction. There was a press of business at the time which +necessitated an adjournment, but in the end the Court fixed the new rent +at the same amount as the old rent.</p> + +<p>The tenant appealed; but though the Appeal Court valuers attested that +it was worth seventy-five pounds a year, still the rent was unchanged.<a name="Page_86" id="Page_86" /></p> + +<p>In other words, the Government sold me a farm and parliamentary title at +sixty-five pounds a year which one set of Commissioners thought fair and +the other thought cheap, and yet I had to spend more than half a year's +rent in defending my title to it.</p> + +<p>There is no appeal as to value, except to the head Commissioners. They +appoint two other Sub-Commissioners to inspect the land, and they of +course avoid disagreeing with their brethren.</p> + +<p>It is very like Mr. Spenlow in <i>David Copperfield</i>, who said, 'If you +are not satisfied with Doctors' Commons you can go to the delegates,' +and being asked who the delegates were, he replied that they came from +Doctors' Commons.</p> + +<p>I bought the Harenc property as a speculation, and it turned out a +confoundedly bad one.</p> + +<p>Once I had a conversation with a Land Leaguer on the subject. He said:—</p> + +<p>'You bought a stolen horse, and must take the consequences.'</p> + +<p>'If that were so,' I retorted, 'I would have an action against the +Government which sold me the horse.'</p> + +<p>I had a correspondence on the subject with Mr. Chamberlain, which +elicited some remarkable letters; but as he marked all of his private +and confidential, they of course cannot be published.</p> + +<p>Now for a few anecdotes, just to show that I have not exhausted my +stock.</p> + +<p>It would be cruel to specify the individual of whom I can truthfully +say, he was the biggest fool that ever disfigured the Irish bench.<a name="Page_87" id="Page_87" /></p> + +<p>He had been tutor to the children of a great peer, and his patron +subsequently pressed the Prime Minister to do something for him.</p> + +<p>'I can't make him a County Court judge,' said the Prime Minister, 'for +he would never decide rightly.'</p> + +<p>'Well,' said another Minister, 'we are going out, and have not the ghost +of a chance of ever getting in again in our time. Let him be +Solicitor-General for Ireland during the last weeks we hold office.'</p> + +<p>So this was done out of sheer good-nature; but after the election the +Government found themselves saddled with him, for in those days holders +of high office were not shelved at the caprice of Premiers, whilst the +country had unexpectedly returned the old gang to power.</p> + +<p>It has always been averred by the Irish Bar that an office was specially +created for the purpose of shunting this legal luminary into it, but as +an historical fact I will not vouch for the truth of the sarcasm. The +account of the Cabinet conclave came to me on excellent authority.</p> + +<p>When Chief Justice Monaghan died, Lord Morris, who was then a Puisne +Judge of Common Pleas, observed that he himself had a good chance of the +post.</p> + +<p>'What about Keagh and Lawson?' asked his acquaintance, they being +brother judges.</p> + +<p>'Very good men,' replied Lord Morris, 'but as they were not appointed by +the Tories, I don't think they'll promote them.'</p> + +<p>'And how about Ormsby?' continued the other.</p> + +<p>'Ah now,' said Morris, 'you are getting sarcastic.'</p> + +<p>There is a cheery story about Judge Keagh, who has just been mentioned.</p> + +<p>A number of brothers were before him, charged with killing a man at +Listowel.<a name="Page_88" id="Page_88" /></p> + +<p>The judge was most anxious to ascertain from an important witness what +share each of the accused had in the murder.</p> + +<p>'What did John do?'</p> + +<p>'He struck him with his stick on the head.'</p> + +<p>'And James?'</p> + +<p>'James hit him with his fist on the jaw.'</p> + +<p>'And Philip?'</p> + +<p>'Philip tried to get him down and kick him.'</p> + +<p>'And Timothy?'</p> + +<p>'He could do nothing, my lord, but he was just walking round searching +for a vacancy.'</p> + +<p>Which reminds me that fair play is not always recognised as essential in +these matters, as the following anecdote shows.</p> + +<p>There was a faction feud between the Kellehers and Leehys near Sneem.</p> + +<p>One of the Leehys had a bad leg, and was therefore bound apprentice to a +shoemaker in Sneem.</p> + +<p>On a fair day a solitary Kelleher ventured into the town, and very +speedily the Leehys had half-killed and beaten him as well as their +numbers would allow.</p> + +<p>Suddenly there was a shout, and the poor lame Leehy came hobbling down +the street as fast as his wooden leg would permit.</p> + +<p>'Boys, for the love of mercy,' says he, 'let a poor cripple have one go +at the black-hearted varmint.'</p> + +<p>One of the counsel engaged in the Harenc case was Mr. Murphy, who was a +near relative of Judge Keagh, and he was a man of ready wit into the +bargain.</p> + +<p>There was a company promoter from London, who had induced several people +to take shares in a bogus concern, and was consequently defendant in an +action brought against him in Cork.<a name="Page_89" id="Page_89" /></p> + +<p>He thought he would make an impression on the wild Irish by being +overdressed and gorgeously bejewelled.</p> + +<p>When Murphy arose to address the jury, he said:—</p> + +<p>'Gentlemen of the jury, look at the well-tailored impostor without a rag +of honesty to take the gloss off his new clothes.'</p> + +<p>Another counsel in the case was Mr. Byrne. He was always in impecunious +circumstances despite his legal eloquence, but the lack of a balance at +his banker's never troubled him.</p> + +<p>Once he took Chief Justice Whiteside to see his new house in Dublin, +which he had furnished in sumptuous style.</p> + +<p>'Don't you think I deserve great credit for this?' he asked at length.</p> + +<p>'Yes,' retorted Whiteside, 'and you appear to have got it.'</p> + +<p>Lord Justice Christian, who had declined to sit on the Appeal, was +considered one of the soundest opinions in Ireland. When he ceased to be +sole Judge of Appeal, he had addressed the Bar after this fashion:—</p> + +<p>'As this is the last time I sit as sole Judge of Appeal, it is an +opportune time for me to review my decisions. By a curious coincidence, +I have been thirteen years in this Court, and I have decided thirteen +cases which have been taken to the House of Lords. Eleven of my +decisions were confirmed, one appeal was withdrawn, and the last was a +purely equity case. The two equity lords went with me, the two common +law lords were against me, and when I inform the Bar that my judgment +was reversed on the casting vote of Lord O'Hagan, I do not think they +will attach much importance to the decision.'</p> + +<p>Judge Christian's allusion to the Land Act is most noteworthy, for he +said:—</p> + +<p>'The property of the country is confided to the discretion of certain +roving commissioners without any fixed rules to guide and direct them. +In fact, we have reverted to the primitive state of society, where men +make and administer the laws in the same breath.'<a name="Page_90" id="Page_90" /></p> + +<p>Reverting to the Harenc estate, a rather amusing account was once +perpetrated by a Special Commissioner.</p> + +<p>'Never heard tell of Ballybunion?' said his carman to the journalist as +on the road they met the carts laden with sand and seaweed from that +place. 'Why it's a great place intirely in the season, when quality from +all parts come for the sea-bathing.'</p> + +<p>As he evidently regarded it as the first watering-place in the world, +the Special Commissioner thought he had better see the place, and here +is his description:—</p> + +<p>'A village perched on the summit of a cliff, an ancient castle of the +Fitz-Maurice clan, wonderful caves, and a little hotel are the leading +features of the place.</p> + +<p>'The morning after my arrival, I experienced a wish to see the cliffs +and caves, and no sooner were the words spoken than a figure bearing an +unlit torch appeared at the door.</p> + +<p>'It was Beal-bo (which may be translated into a somewhat Sioux +cognomen—the Yellow Cow). A figure in rags with an inimitable limp, and +a fashion of closing one eye that reminds one of Victor Hugo's Quasimodo +of Notre Dame. A more intimate acquaintance proved there was much +instruction, and a good deal of amusement, to be derived from this +strange character.</p> + +<p>'The grand cave is Beal-bo's special source of revenue. He regards it as +his own property, and takes a pride in it accordingly. This is the +theatre of the many wiles he practises upon unsuspecting strangers. When +he has lured them into the bowels of the cave, he turns down a gallery, +and informs them that they cannot get out unless they cross a pool about +five feet wide. When he has his victim upon his back, he seizes the +opportunity to levy blackmail, for the pool is a quicksand and he +suddenly affects great fear. After he has sunk to the knees in the +yielding sand, the tourist is glad enough to give him a shilling to +hurry across.<a name="Page_91" id="Page_91" /></p> + +<p>'In another gallery it is necessary for the stranger to cross a pool on +a plank which Beal-bo provides for the occasion, and on this he charges +a toll. He used to let the water in to deepen the pools before the +tourists came through, in order to bring his plank into requisition.</p> + +<p>'Suspended on a cliff between heaven and sea, one hundred feet above the +water, on all sides were piled the immense masses of masonry, the ruins +of which are all that remains of the once proud Castle of Doon. Gazing +in awe down the horrid depths of the "Puffing Hole," Beal-bo informed +us:—</p> + +<p>'"Twas there Brian used to sleep in the day, and come out at night to +milk the cows up in the Killarney hills, he and his dog."'</p> + +<p>The Special Commissioner looked incredulous, but Beal-bo was +confident:—</p> + +<p>'"May I never be saved, sir, if I haven't seen him meself, many a night, +sir, as he climbed the cliffs backwards to rob the hawks' nests."'</p> + +<p>How can even a Special Commissioner dispute an eyewitness?</p> + +<p>Still the knowledge that I own a harbour of refuge for Brian will hardly +repay me for all the expense and anxiety the Harenc property has caused +me.</p> + +<p>Before quitting the subject, I can conclude with a more gratifying fact.</p> + +<p>At the time of the Tralee election, when I stood as a Conservative, a +small clique of mob orators and amateur politicians tried to make +political capital out of the history of the Harenc estate, and a priest, +Father M. O'Connor, rode the jaded topic to death. The unkindest cut of +all to him was the direct contradiction by the tenants themselves of +every assertion that their self-constituted champions made on their +behalf.<a name="Page_92" id="Page_92" /></p> + +<p>'We, the tenants of the Harenc estate, think it our duty to state that +since Mr. S.M. Hussey became purchaser of the above estate, he has in +every respect treated us kindly. He was good enough to give us seed +potatoes for half the price they cost himself; he also drained our +portions of the land at two and a half per cent., employed all the +labourers, and paid them good wages while so employed by him. As a +landlord we find him liberal and generous.'</p> + +<p>To this were appended fifty signatures, and the best part of all is that +the whole of the manifesto was absolutely unsolicited by me, proving an +unexpected source of pleasure.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X" />CHAPTER X<a name="Page_93" id="Page_93" /></h2> + +<h4>KERRY ELECTIONS</h4> + + +<p>An election in most places is an occasion for breaking heads, abusing +opponents, and other similar demonstrations of ardent local +philanthropy. Such opportunities are never lost by Kerry men, whose +heads are harder and whose wits are sharper than those of the average +run of humanity. If you are a real Kerry man of respectable convictions, +and self-respecting into the bargain, you will never let the man who is +drinking with you entertain any opinions but your own at election times. +If he contradicts you, it's up with your stick and a crack on his skull, +and as that only tickles him up—having much the effect of a nettle +under a donkey's tail—you then go outside and mutually destroy as much +of each other as can be effected in a fight. Some weeks later, when the +vanquished is able to crawl away from the dispensary doctor, and so save +his own life amid the dire forebodings of that physician, who refuses to +answer for the consequences, you begin to drink with him again just to +show there is no ill-feeling; which of course there is not, if you and +he are both real Kerry men. Naturally, if you get a sullen, revengeful, +calculating Protestant from the North, it's another matter, for he'll be +far too friendly with the constabulary and won't hold with the good old +local ways approved by every Kerry Papist and tolerated by most of the +priests.</p> + +<p>In 1851 there was a Kerry election. A Protestant candidate stood, and so +did one who in those days was a Whig. I went stoutly for the +Protectionist, but the priests plumped for the Free Trader, and their +congregations have been regretting it ever since.<a name="Page_94" id="Page_94" /></p> + +<p>One tenant was driving in a gig with me to the poll when a priest passed +me on the road and said to my tenant:—</p> + +<p>'May the blast of the Almighty be upon you, for I know you are being +taken to vote the wrong way.'</p> + +<p>The tenant got very nervous, for in those times it was generally +believed that the priests had power to change men into frogs and toads, +a superstition by no means obsolete even now in lone districts. However, +I took him along very easily, giving him the benefit of the roll of my +tongue as to what he should do, and before he reached the polling-booth +he recovered and voted for the Tory.</p> + +<p>A Mr. Scully from Tipperary was the Whig candidate, and the family was +not popular in its own county.</p> + +<p>A Cork man, making inquiries of a Tipperary man about him, was +answered:—</p> + +<p>'I don't know this gentleman personally, but I believe we have already +shot the best of the family.'</p> + +<p>Mr. Scully was a very amusing man, and in the House of Commons he used +to go by the nickname of 'old Skull.'</p> + +<p>Lord Monk accosted him by this name one night, and Mr. Scully replied:—</p> + +<p>'If you have taken the "e y" off your own name, my lord, it is no reason +you should do it off mine.'</p> + +<p>Here is another story of him.</p> + +<p>Mr. Dillwyn said to him, a Roman Catholic:—'I have lived sixty years in +this world, and I don't yet know the difference between the two +religions.'</p> + +<p>'Bydad,' retorted Scully, 'you will not have been five minutes in the +other without finding it out.'<a name="Page_95" id="Page_95" /></p> + +<p>Shortly after the franchise was enlarged—which threw Imperial +Parliament at the mercy of the ignorant—old Lord Kenmare died and the +present peer was called up to the House of Lords.</p> + +<p>Lord Kenmare was the most popular landlord in Kerry, and he selected a +Roman Catholic cousin of his, Mr. Dease, to stand for the county, Mr. +Roland Blennerhasset, a young Protestant landlord, being started against +him in support of Home Rule principles.</p> + +<p>The Roman Catholic bishop and most of the priests backed Mr. Dease, but +the Home Rule candidate beat him by three to one. Some of the priests, +who were very obnoxious to the people, supported Mr. Blennerhasset, and +were then idolised, whilst a very popular parish priest, who canvassed +for Mr. Dease, had to run for his life.</p> + +<p>From thenceforth no one but a Home Rule candidate had any chance in +Munster, and Mr. Roland Blennerhasset, having seen the error of his +ways, afterwards became a Unionist candidate in England. He is a very +clever man, who was quite young then, but has now blossomed into a K.C. +in London, and is mighty shrewd about speculations.</p> + +<p>The election was great fun except for the stones and bricks, of which +enough were thrown about to build a city without foundations. Mr. Dease +got a blow on his ribs at Castle Island, which told on his health, and +he died soon afterwards. He was a brother of Sir Gerald Dease, and a man +very much liked.</p> + +<p>It was during this election that I was fired at one night at Aghadoe, +returning from Puck Fair at Killorghin. A rumour was started that it was +the work of one of the tenants on Sir George Colthurst's Cork estates, +and the Tralee correspondent of the <i>Examiner</i> telegraphed his belief in +this, adding 'so repugnant are Kerry men to these dastardly outrages.'<a name="Page_96" id="Page_96" /></p> + +<p>They took to them as greedily as a duck to water in later times, as all +the world knows; and in the light of subsequent events it is delightful +to remember that the <i>Freeman</i> stated, 'All condemn this dastardly act, +for Mr. Hussey is universally respected.'</p> + +<p>It atoned for this lapse into truth by subsequently taking my name in +vain hundreds of times in the bad periods that were ahead.</p> + +<p>There had been a libel case between the Rev. Denis O'Donoghue, parish +priest of Ardfert, and myself. The address of this cleric in proposing +Mr. Blennerhasset at the nomination had annoyed those he assailed +intensely. Up to that point I had been utterly indifferent, but after +that I strained every nerve to defeat Father O'Donoghue's nominee.</p> + +<p>This is an extract from his speech at Ardfert:—</p> + +<p>'Sam Hussey is a vulture with a broken beak, and he laid his voracious +talons on the consciences of the voters. (Boos.) The ugly scowl of Sam +Hussey came down upon them. He wanted to try the influence of his dark +nature on the poor people. (Groans). Where was the legitimate influence +of such a man? Was it in the white terror he diffused? Was it not the +espionage, the network of spies with which he surrounded his lands? He +denied that a man who managed property had for that reason a shadow of a +shade of influence to justify him in asking a tenant for his vote. What +had they to thank him for?'</p> + +<p>A voice: 'Rack rents.'</p> + +<p>'They knew the man from his boyhood, from his <i>gossoonhood</i>. He knew +him when he began with a <i>collop</i> of sheep as his property in the world. +(Laughter.) Long before he got God's mark on him. It was not the man's +fault but his misfortune that he got no education. (Laughter.) He had in +that parish schoolmasters who could teach him grammar for the next ten +years. The man was in fact a Uriah Heep among Kerry landlords. +(Cheers.)'<a name="Page_97" id="Page_97" /></p> + +<p>The result of this and other incentives to irritability was that the +voters for Mr. Dease had to be escorted by troops and constabulary.</p> + +<p>The sporting proclivities had already been shown over a race. In the +County Club at Tralee there was an altercation between Mr. Sandes and a +leading 'Deasite' as to the rival merits of a bay mare belonging to one +and a chestnut horse owned by the other.</p> + +<p>Quoth Mr. Sandes:—</p> + +<p>'I'll run you a two mile steeplechase for a hundred guineas if you like, +and I'll call my horse Home Rule—do you call yours Deasite; each to +ride his own horse.'</p> + +<p>No Kerry man could refuse such a challenge, and the race excited more +interest than the election.</p> + +<p>Mr. Sandes won, leaving 'Deasite' nowhere, and this helped Mr. +Blennerhasset to head the poll.</p> + +<p>More than one man is asserted to have voted for:—'Him you know that me +landlord wants me to vote for.'</p> + +<p>But I should say several dozen voted for:—</p> + +<p>'Him you know that the priest, God bless him, tells me to vote for.'</p> + +<p>The libel over which the action arose was alleged to have been published +in the <i>Cork Examiner</i>, and the words complained of were pretty sturdy.</p> + +<p>The jury returned a verdict of one farthing for the plaintiff priest, +and I do not think he derived as much advertisement out of it as Miss +Marie Corelli obtained from a similar coin of the realm.<a name="Page_98" id="Page_98" /></p> + +<p>Of course all this should have shown me that I had in my own interests +better keep clear of Kerry politics, but after I had bought the Harenc +estate, I stood for Tralee as a Tory against The O'Donoghue, who was a +Nationalist. I never supposed I was going to get in, but I really had a +capital run for the Parliamentary Handicap, though I was weighted by +political convictions and penalised by my creed. The priests made a most +active set against me. There were only fifty Protestants on the +register, and yet I managed to get one hundred and thirty votes, for +which suffrages some eighty honest men must have been well worrited in +the confessional.</p> + +<p>The O'Donoghue polled one hundred and eighty votes, and I believe a good +many of his supporters had strong views on the currency question, and he +was backed by a wealthy merchant. The constituency is now merged into +the county, and the remotest chance of returning a rational member is +now at an end.</p> + +<p>The O'Donoghue did not stand after the merging of the constituency, +though he was well used to electioneering work and had fought me very +pleasantly, with as much devil about him as would make an angel +palatable.</p> + +<p>I did not much care for the whole thing. Still I was always a bit of a +stormy petrel rejoicing in a gale, and my capacity has not waned even in +my eightieth year.</p> + +<p>The mob indulged in some lively work. A good many windows of houses +belonging to my supporters were broken and a man stabbed.</p> + +<p>The polling day was made the occasion of a public holiday, which meant +that the bulk of the population was imbibing a great deal more than was +compatible with the laws of equilibrium. Some amusement was caused by +the panic of The O'Donoghue's supporters at the votes I was getting, and +presently they brought up in cars one poor man in an advanced stage of +consumption, and another unable to walk from old age.<a name="Page_99" id="Page_99" /></p> + +<p>It was a wearisome day to me; but before its close it became abundantly +evident that if the electors were allowed to exercise a free discretion +and vote according to their consciences, I should have headed the poll +by a large majority. However in Ireland man proposes and the priest +disposes.</p> + +<p>At a meeting of the Conservative electors in Cork, Mr. Standford read a +telegram announcing the return of The O'Donoghue in Tralee, which was +received with hisses. He said the reason I had stood there was a +requisition, signed by Sir Henry Donovan, in the presence of nine grand +jurors of the County of Kerry, calling on me to do so. Sir Henry Donovan +had since turned over to The O'Donoghue from the man he had forced into +the field. Now that would teach them not to be fooled by Liberal +promises. It almost made him believe no truth, no honour, and no +sincerity existed among their opponents.</p> + +<p>This was received with applause, which was renewed with laughter when +Mr. Young observed:—</p> + +<p>'I will make one remark. I think Sir Henry Donovan and The O'Donoghue +are well met.'</p> + +<p>To show that strong views in my favour were not confined to Protestants, +I may quote the following letter written from the Augustinian Convent in +Drogheda by J.A. Anderson, O.S.A.:—</p> + +<p>'If the electors of Tralee return Mr. O'Donoghue (<i>alias</i> The +O'Donoghue) as their representative in the coming Parliament, they will +be false to Ireland, false to the men that galvanised the dead body that +Gavan Duffy left on "the dissecting table" before starting for +Australia, and they will have the honour (?) of returning to Parliament +the greatest political renegade to Irish nationality that this +generation has known.'<a name="Page_100" id="Page_100" /></p> + +<p>A lady has recently drawn my attention to a footnote in Mr. Lecky's +<i>History of Ireland</i>, where is quoted from a letter of my ancestor, +Colonel Maurice Hussey, the following opinion:—</p> + +<p>'It—i.e. Tralee—was a nest of thieves and smugglers, and so it always +will be until nine parts of ten of O'Donoghue's old followers be +proclaimed and hanged on gibbets on the spot.'</p> + +<p>So when O'Donoghues have troubled me, it is a case of history repeating +itself, and if the percentage of the followers of the modern chieftain +had been 'removed'—as the modern phrase in Ireland ran—according to +the manner advocated by my ancestor, I could have voted in Parliament +against dismembering the Empire to gratify the eagerness of an old man +to truckle to the traitors of the country intrusted to his care.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI" />CHAPTER XI<a name="Page_101" id="Page_101" /></h2> + +<h4>DRINK</h4> + + +<p>Of course one of the great troubles in Ireland is drink. I am no +advocate for teetotalism, for I think a man who can enjoy a moderate +glass is a better one than his brother who has to drink water in order +that he may not yield to the overpowering 'tempitation'—to quote Mr. +Huntley Wright—to get drunk! But for my fellow-countrymen I can see +that drink is a terrible curse, one which is the cause of half the +crime, half the illness, and more than half the misery that exists +there.</p> + +<p>Of all Irish benefactors, possibly Father Mathew was the greatest; but +in my boyish days, when it became known that men, not yet in a lunatic +asylum, had taken up the notion that human life was possible without +alcoholic drinks, the wits of Kerry and Cork were heartily diverted at +the bare idea.</p> + +<p>It used to be the stock joke after dinner, even when Father Mathew was +in the zenith of his triumph.</p> + +<p>In Cork if you laugh at a thing you can generally suppress it, for, +whereas all Irishmen are keenly susceptible to ridicule, the Cork folk +are even more so.</p> + +<p>The cold water business furnished endless jests, but it survived them.</p> + +<p>Perhaps the strangest thing of all was the clergyman who preached +against it as being irreligious, taking as the text of his sermon, +'Wine, that maketh glad the heart of man.'<a name="Page_102" id="Page_102" /></p> + +<p>I like a man who is disinterested, therefore I wish to remind the +present generation that Father Mathew came of a stock of distillers, and +his family was among the first to suffer by his preaching.</p> + +<p>It was probable there would be a reaction after his death; and when that +event took place, after the famine and fever, none really took his place +to warn the diminishing population, in sufficiently effective fashion, +of all the ills that drink was laying up for them.</p> + +<p>Wherever, in my work, I found Government relief works, within a stone's +throw of every pay office a whisky shop started into operation.</p> + +<p>New Ireland arose from the famine, and she has never since shown much +sign of temperance. Indeed, an excessive amount of money is, and has +ever since then been, spent on liquor in Ireland.</p> + +<p>At Castleisland, the scene of so many outrages, the population of the +town is thirteen hundred, and the number of whisky shops is fifty-two. +Very nearly the same proportion can be noticed in several other towns.</p> + +<p>There never was an outrage committed without an empty whisky bottle +being found close to the scene of the murder.</p> + +<p>In the worst time a moonlighter slept for a fortnight close to the house +of an Irish landlord, who was well aware that he was there for the +express purpose of shooting him, but he never even attempted it.</p> + +<p>'Time after time I lay in a ditch to have a go at him, but he would ride +by, looking for all the world as if he would shoot a flea off the tail +of a shnipe, so that, with all the whisky in the world to help me, I +dared not do it,' was his explanation before he left for America.</p> + +<p>Did you never hear the parish priest's sermon?<a name="Page_103" id="Page_103" /></p> + +<p>'It's whisky makes you bate your wives; it's whisky makes your homes +desolate; it's whisky makes you shoot your landlords, and'—with +emphasis, as he thumped the pulpit—'it's whisky makes you miss them.'</p> + +<p>There is as much truth in that sermon as in any that was preached last +Sunday between Belfast and Glengariff.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, the profits to the drink retailer are not so +enormous as might be imagined, owing to the competition.</p> + +<p>In the neighbourhood of Castleisland there is one group of twelve houses +and nine of these are whisky booths. However anxious the population may +be to consume immoderate amounts of the fiery liquor, and however large +the traffic on the road—never a big thing in Ireland, except on +market-day—the division of the local receipts by nine is apt to +diminish the profits in each case.</p> + +<p>It has been suggested to me by a lady who knows Kerry well, that the +consumption of drink might be diminished if a law were passed forcing +the publicans to sell food. As she very truly remarks, it is often +impossible for the country folk, even on market-day, when coming into a +town, to get food for immediate consumption.</p> + +<p>However, I do not think this would have any effect. When away from his +cabin the Irishman and the Irishwoman want drink, not food, for there +are a few potatoes at home which will provide all the solid sustenance +most of them desire.</p> + +<p>If her proposal were made law, each publican would keep a loaf in his +window, and there it would stay for a year.</p> + +<p>That reminds me of the man who was waiting in Waterford Station on March +12th, and to pass the time had a ham sandwich at the bar.</p> + +<p>After one mouthful he asked the astonished barmaid for another, made of +February bread, because he really felt that it was time January bread +might have a rest.<a name="Page_104" id="Page_104" /></p> + +<p>To give an example of how Irishmen crave for drink, I will relate an +incident connected with the Parnell Commission.</p> + +<p>Three of Lord Kenmare's tenants had been sent over in charge of an +experienced and reliable man to give evidence, and on their return +journey, when they arrived at North Wall—the hour being 6 A.M.—the +conductor said:—</p> + +<p>'There is cold meat, or bread and cheese. Now, what will your fancy be?'</p> + +<p>Far from wanting nutrition after an all night journey, or even the +soothing solace of a cup of tea, it was half a pint of whisky apiece +that they all asked for.</p> + +<p>Just as much drinking exists among the Protestants as among the Roman +Catholics, only there is a trifle more geniality in the bibulous +propensities of the latter. Much less affects an Irishman than a +Scotsman. The latter, when he has absorbed all the whisky he can +assimilate in a bout—and no bad amount it is, let me observe—will go +quietly to sleep. But an Irishman's joy is incomplete unless he knocks +somebody down, which may account for the fact that the Irish are the +best soldiers in the world.</p> + +<p>One redeeming feature in the liquor traffic is the increasing +consumption of porter, for that at least has some nourishment in it, and +is reasonably wholesome, whereas the whisky is vilely adulterated, not +only by the publicans before it reaches the consumer, but also in some +of the factories.</p> + +<p>Puck Fair is the great annual fête and mart of Killorglin; and it is so +called because a goat is always fastened to a stave on a platform, and +gaily bedizened. Formerly the animal was attached to the flagstaff on +the Castle. To this fair all Kerry for many miles congregates, and the +neighbouring roads towards evening are literally strewn with bibulous +individuals of either sex.<a name="Page_105" id="Page_105" /></p> + +<p>On one occasion a Killorglin publican was in jail, and his father asked +for an interview because he wanted the recipe for manufacturing the +special whisky for Puck Fair. It has been a constant practice to prepare +this blend, but the whisky does not keep many days, as may be gathered +from the recipe, which the prisoner without hesitation dictated to his +parent:—</p> + +<p>A gallon of fresh, fiery whisky. A pint of rum. A pint of methylated +spirit. Two ounces of corrosive sublimate. Three gallons of water.</p> + +<p>An Irishman's constitution must be tougher than that of an ostrich to +enable him to consume much of the filthy poison. Temperance orators are +welcome to make what use they like of the recipe of this awful +decoction, annually sold to a confiding population.</p> + +<p>It is not considered etiquette to come out of Killorglin sober on Puck +Fair; and, judging by the state of the people in the vicinity in the +evening, this social custom is rigidly observed.</p> + +<p>They are wonderfully particular in Kerry in attending to exactly what is +congenial to them, and if it were not for the thickness of their heads a +good many lives would be lost.</p> + +<p>There was a gauger, in a central county in Ireland, killed by a blow on +the head from a stick.</p> + +<p>The man who struck him, in his defence, stated:—</p> + +<p>'I did not hit him a very hard blow, and why the devil did the +Government make a gauger of a man that had a head no thicker than an +egg-shell?'</p> + +<p>Mighty few of the Killorglin folk have egg-shell heads, and the bulk of +these do not come to maturity.</p> + +<p>The avowed fact that lunacy is largely on the increase in Ireland has +been pronounced by the committee which sat on the question in Dublin to +be mainly due, not only to excessive drinking, but to the assimilation +of adulterated spirits.<a name="Page_106" id="Page_106" /></p> + +<p>Though the foregoing recipe furnishes a pretty fair example, I certainly +would not wager that it could not be beaten elsewhere in Ireland.</p> + +<p>For a long time the priests were entirely apathetic on the subject, but +latterly they are bestirring themselves, and are doing their best to put +down wakes, which simply mean one or more nights of disgusting +intemperance in the immediate vicinity of the corpse.</p> + +<p>Keening, by the way, is dying out, and what remains of this curious, +mournful waiting is now almost entirely in the hands of old women who +are experts in the art, and get remunerated not only in drink but also +in cash.</p> + +<p>It is, however, possible that when I am deploring the alcoholic +tendencies of the Irishman, that these may be due to his more vegetarian +dietary, and not to any undue natural craving for alcohol. This is borne +out by the fact that no Irishman will willingly drink alone, and that +his potations are in the shops where whisky and porter are sold for +consumption on the premises, or at fairs, markets, weddings, or wakes, +to the diminishing number of which I have just called attention.</p> + +<p>The parish priest of Dingle recently stated in court that in a +population of seventeen hundred there were over fifty licensed houses, +and he rightly declared that all dealings in licences should for the +present be only by transfer, and that for five years at least no new +licences should be granted. The argument so often heard against stopping +licences is that then more illicit drinking will ensue, but this does +not convince me that the redundant licences should be renewed.</p> + +<p>My remedy would be to increase all renewals of licences to fifty pounds +apiece, and to apply the difference as compensation to unrenewed +licences. If a man fits up his house as a shebeen, and has conducted it +tolerably, he ought to receive just compensation when his licence is +cancelled owing to there being too many in a district.<a name="Page_107" id="Page_107" /></p> + +<p>If this is not done, he would be the victim of as great a robbery as was +perpetrated on the unfortunate landlords by the Land Act.</p> + +<p>I have a yarn or two on the subject of drink which may be appropriately +related here.</p> + +<p>Old David Burus, the steward at Ardrum, County Cork, was a great +character who had got inextricably confused between the Council of Trent +and the Trant family in the vicinity, and no amount of explanation could +ever enlighten him. Directly he had begun to be jovial, he used to +say:—</p> + +<p>'My blessing on Councillor Trent, who put a fast on meat, but not on +drink.'</p> + +<p>And he proved the devoutness of his gratitude by conscientiously getting +drunk every Friday.</p> + +<p>That recalls to my mind the case of the illustrious gentleman—also a +fellow-countryman, I regret to say—who committed burglary and murder +when there was an opportunity, but religiously refrained from eating +meat on Friday.</p> + +<p>Reverting to David Burus: on one occasion I remonstrated with him on the +amount of whisky he drank.</p> + +<p>'I did drink a great deal of whisky, and I would have drunk more.' was +his reply, 'if I had known it was going to be as dear as it is now.'</p> + +<p>He evidently regretted not having thoroughly saturated himself with +alcohol. It was the only way in which he could have possibly increased +his consumption.</p> + +<p>He was wont to say that if he had known the trick Mr. Gladstone was +going to play on honest, God-fearing men, with sound stomachs and a +decent appetite, by imposing a ten shilling duty on every gallon of +whisky, he would have drunk his fill beforehand, even if <i>delirium +tremens</i> had been the penalty.<a name="Page_108" id="Page_108" /></p> + +<p>Such hard drinking as his, and so calmly avowed, must, even in the south +of Ireland, be fortunately rare, for few constitutions can stand +conversion into animated whisky vats.</p> + +<p>There was a farmer at Kanturk railway station who confided to the +stationmaster that he himself on the previous evening had been as drunk +as the very devil.</p> + +<p>A parson on the platform, overhearing him, said:—</p> + +<p>'You make a mistake, my friend, the devil does not drink. He keeps his +head cool for the express purpose of watching such as you.'</p> + +<p>The countryman replied:—</p> + +<p>'You seem to be very well acquainted with the respected gentleman's +habits, your riverince.'</p> + +<p>And then they walked off different ways.</p> + +<p>Which reminds me of another clerical incident.</p> + +<p>A parish priest within twenty miles of Tralee, who subsequently left the +Church—I will not say on account of his thirst, though, as that was +unquenchable, it no doubt conduced to his retirement—came into the +parlour of the manager of the bank with two farmers to have a bill +discounted.</p> + +<p>The manager, having ascertained the farmers were good security, cashed +the bill and gave the proceeds to the priest. He was very much surprised +on the following day at the two farmers walking into his room with the +money.</p> + +<p>'What's the meaning of this?' says he.</p> + +<p>'Well, your honour, we could not stay in the parish, if we refused to +join his reverence in the deal, which was sure to be a very bad one for +us. So we thought the best thing to do was to get him a little hearty at +his own expense on the way home. And then we picked his pocket and have +brought the money to your honour, whilst he is cursing every thief +outside his parish, and will probably ask the congregation to make up +the amount next Sunday.'<a name="Page_109" id="Page_109" /></p> + +<p>And that is a true story, and as illustrative of the Irish peasant as +any you could ever get told to you.</p> + +<p>A coffin-maker named Sullivan thrived in Tralee. He received an order +for a coffin for a man living about six miles away from the town. It was +not called for for a week, and so he went out to the house where the man +lay dead to inquire the cause.</p> + +<p>When he came back to Tralee, he said to a friend:—</p> + +<p>'Who do you think I saw, Mick, but that scoundrel of a corpse sitting in +a ditch eating a piece of pig's cheek.'</p> + +<p>That reminds me of another coffin story.</p> + +<p>A man who lived in Cork was notorious for being always behind time for +everything. He knew his failing, and was rather touchy about it.</p> + +<p>One night, stumbling out of a whisky shop, he lurched into a yard, fell +against a door, which gave way, and finished his slumbers peacefully in +the shed, which was the storehouse of an undertaker.</p> + +<p>In the morning he awoke, rubbed his eyes in astonishment at the strange +surroundings amid which he found himself, and after recollecting his own +pet proclivity, as he ruefully surveyed all the empty coffins, +ejaculated:—</p> + +<p>'Just my usual luck. Late for the Resurrection.'</p> + +<p>Which recalls another tale:—</p> + +<p>A man was dead drunk, so some friends, for a lark, brought him into a +dark room, lit a lot of phosphorus, and made up one of their party in +the guise of a devil before they flung a bucket of water over their +victim.<a name="Page_110" id="Page_110" /></p> + +<p>'Where am I?' asked the fellow, looking round 'skeered.'</p> + +<p>'In hell,' retorted the devil, with exaggerated solemnity.</p> + +<p>'Heaven bless your honour, as you know the ways of the place, will you +get me a drop of drink?'</p> + +<p>But a mere drop does not suffice as a friend of mine found out.</p> + +<p>He was wont to reward his car-driver with a glass of whisky, and gave it +to him in an antique glass, which did not contain as much as cabby +wished for.</p> + +<p>'That's a very quare glass, captain,' says he.</p> + +<p>'Yes,' replied Captain Stevens; 'that's blown glass.'</p> + +<p>'Why, Captain,' says the carman, 'the man must have been damned short in +the breath that blew that.'</p> + +<p>This would no doubt have been the opinion of a Dublin carman who was in +the habit of bringing a present to an acquaintance of mine from a lady +living at some distance, and being recompensed with a glass of grog. By +degrees, however, the water grew to be the predominant partner in the +union within the glass, so at last he burst out in disgust:—</p> + +<p>'If you threw a tumbler of whisky over Carlisle Bridge, it would be +better grog than that at the Pigeon House.'</p> + +<p>Which being interpreted into cockneyism would read, 'If you threw a +glass of whisky over Westminster Bridge it would be better grog than +that at Greenwich Pier.'</p> + +<p>Still all consumption of liquor is not confined to Ireland, and I well +remember when I was with Bogue in Scotland, that one night he had a +fellow-farmer of the very best type to dine with him, and about ten +o'clock, with much difficulty, my man and I hoisted him into the saddle.</p> + +<p>An hour afterwards we heard a knock at the door, and a voice rather +quaveringly inquired:—<a name="Page_111" id="Page_111" /></p> + +<p>'Pleash, can you tell me the way to X., I have lost my way?'</p> + +<p>The tracks next morning revealed he had been riding round and round the +house without once quitting the vicinity, which was almost as bad as +Mark Twain's famous nocturnal perambulation with his pedometer, when he +went on a tramp abroad!</p> + +<p>Of potation stories I could tell scores more, and the Tralee Club has +seen enough whisky imbibed within its walls to drown all the members.</p> + +<p>A quaint character named Mullane was at one time steward, and decidedly +astonished a member, who was a total abstainer, by charging him in his +bill for three tumblers of punch.</p> + +<p>'Well,' explained Mullane, 'it's this way. Some take six tumblers, and +some takes none, so I strikes an average—and to tell you the truth, +it's mighty convenient for the great majority.'</p> + +<p>A quaint member of the club was Mr. Edward Morris. He was extremely +diminutive, and he wore an eyeglass. One evening he was standing on the +first landing, pondering in a bemused state whether he could get +downstairs without falling, when a pursey little doctor trotted past him +without even touching the bannister.</p> + +<p>This inspired Morris with courage, so he let go his hold of the +balustrade, whereupon he promptly fell on the physician, and both rolled +to the bottom of the stairs.</p> + +<p>Thence in hiccuping tones were heard:—</p> + +<p>'Waiter! Waiter, put the glass in my eye, and let me see who the +scoundrel was who struck me.'</p> + +<p>On another evening in the club, when he had imbibed very freely, he +ordered an additional glass of grog, and began to moralise aloud, +addressing it after this fashion:—<a name="Page_112" id="Page_112" /></p> + +<p>'Glass of grog, if I drink you now, you'll cut the legs from under me. +And yet I want you, and I will not do without you. So I know what I will +do. I'll go to bed and I'll drink you there, for I don't care a damn +what you do to me then.'</p> + +<p>The indifference of a drunken man to subsequent consequences was rather +quaintly shown by that weird individual Dr. Tanner, when he went up to +Sir Ellis Ashmead Bartlett in the lobby of the House of Commons, and +abruptly observed:—</p> + +<p>'You're a fool.'</p> + +<p>Sir Ellis fixed him with his eyeglass, and, in disgusted tones, +replied:—</p> + +<p>'You're drunk.'</p> + +<p>'I suppose so,' retorted the Irishman, 'but then I'll be sober +to-morrow'—in the most plaintive tone, then in a crescendo of scorn—' +whereas you'll always be a fool.'</p> + +<p>Moreover as he slouched down the lobby, he was heard to say:—</p> + +<p>'If I do get a headache, I've a head to have it in, not a frame on which +to hang an eyeglass.'</p> + +<p>That is a political amenity on which I will not dwell.</p> + +<p>Very little money-lending is to be heard of in the south of Ireland, and +in all my experience I only remember one case in Kerry. Tenants in +Ireland, however, have great horror of breaking bulk, and many of them +will do a bill for a neighbour when they have deposits in the bank for +themselves. As it is a point of honour never to refuse a friend in this +respect, you can easily imagine the amount of 'paper' which is +fluttering.</p> + +<p>Even when a farmer has a tidy sum of money on deposit with the bank at +one per cent., if he wants to employ a sum for a short time, say for the +purchase of cattle, he prefers to raise the money on a bill at six per +cent.<a name="Page_113" id="Page_113" /></p> + +<p>That is to say, the bank is lending him his own money at five per +cent.—a truly Hibernian trait, which it would be difficult to beat +anywhere.</p> + +<p>A bill for drink is not recoverable, but occasionally an insidious +publican will take a man's I.O.U. and sue on that.</p> + +<p>One applied to me to help him to get the money from a tenant.</p> + +<p>'You must show me the account,' said I.</p> + +<p>As I suspected, there was whisky in it, and I declined on the spot.</p> + +<p>All drink in Ireland is on cash down terms only.</p> + +<p>If they gave tick, they would never recover the money, and if every +Irishman is a knowing scoundrel, the publican is a trifle more +knowledgable than the customer, whose brains are besodden.</p> + +<p>A man, who had been a servant of mine, started a public near Tralee, and +thinking he would get customers from the other whisky stores, he gave +tick. His popularity lasted just as long as the tick did, and a week +later he was broke. I do not say so much about Tralee being able to +support one hundred and sixty liquor shops, because there is a little +shipping, but how Cahirciveen can enable fifty publicans to thrive is a +melancholy mystery to me.</p> + +<p>I was animadverting once, at Dingle, on the topic, when one of my +labourers remarked:—</p> + +<p>'It's the gentry does the drinking.'</p> + +<p>'Now that's very curious,' said I, 'for as there are only two of us, and +as I never touch spirits, the other must have such a thirst that he'd +consume the bay if only it were made of whisky.'<a name="Page_114" id="Page_114" /></p> + +<p>In these democratic days, it is as well to resist any undue aspersion on +the upper classes.</p> + +<p>To pass any aspersion on the bibulous propensities of a tenant of mine +named Flaherty would be impossible. When he was buying his farm, I told +him the Government ought to take him on very easy terms, when they +became his landlords.</p> + +<p>'And for why?' he asked.</p> + +<p>'Because,' I replied, 'the duty you pay on the whisky you drink is more +than twenty times your annual rent.'</p> + +<p>I had, however, one personal illustration of the drinking propensity in +Scotland, which I think is worth preserving. It is some years now since +I went to see a certain farmer who, his wife told me, on noticing my +approach, was compelled to go upstairs to cool his head as it was after +dinner. She said this much in the same casual tone, as I should mention +that my wife had gone up early to dress for that meal.</p> + +<p>Next, I heard heavy splashing of water, and then a crash which portended +that the farmer had fallen over the washstand, making a fearful clatter.</p> + +<p>In rushed the drab of a servant maid, perfectly indifferent to my +presence, shrieking:—</p> + +<p>'O missus, come up, come up, the maister is just miraculous among the +chaney!'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII" />CHAPTER XII<a name="Page_115" id="Page_115" /></h2> + +<h4>PRIESTS</h4> + + +<p>I have been asked, since my friends became aware that I am perpetrating +my reminiscences, whether I was going to write anything supplemental to +Mr. MacCarthy's <i>Priests and People</i>, and <i>Five Tears in Ireland</i>.</p> + +<p>My reply was:—</p> + +<p>'Certainly not.'</p> + +<p>To begin with, I have many friends among Roman Catholics, and plenty of +cheery acquaintances among the priests. Secondly, the state of feud and +hostility on which Mr. MacCarthy dilates is more likely to be found in +Ulster and Leinster than in Kerry, where the Roman Catholics form more +than nine-tenths of the population.</p> + +<p>On one occasion, when a distinguished Englishman was staying at +Killarney House, I told him that he should go to the north to see the +strangest sight in the world—two races hating one another for the love +of God.</p> + +<p>It is not my business to estimate what would happen in Kerry if a few +thousand rabid Orangemen were plumped down among the present +inhabitants; but according to existing circumstances creeds are not torn +to tatters nor religion disfigured by strife and slander.</p> + +<p>All the same, I am bound to say that the Roman Catholic priests, when I +was young, were much superior to those of to-day. They were drawn from a +better class, because, having to be educated at Rome, or, at least, as +far away as St. Omer, entailed some considerable outlay by their +relatives. Moreover, they brought back from their continental seminaries +broader ideas than can be acquired in purely Irish colleges. Their +interest had been stimulated at the most impressionable age in much of +which the farmers and labourers had no conception. Therefore the priest +could address his flock with authority, and was invariably looked up to +as well as obeyed.<a name="Page_116" id="Page_116" /></p> + +<p>The parish priest at Blarney erected a tower in commemoration of the +battle of Waterloo, and a public house in the vicinity bears the name to +this day.</p> + +<p>What parish priest would raise a memorial to any English victory in the +twentieth century?</p> + +<p>The greatest curse to the Irish nation has been Maynooth, because it has +fostered the ordination of peasants' sons. These are uneducated men who +have never been out of Ireland, whose sympathies are wholly with the +class from which they have sprung, and who are given no training +calculated to afford them a broader view than that of the narrowest +class prejudice.</p> + +<p>As for the much discussed Irish university, I do not myself believe it +will be founded.</p> + +<p>Should even an English Government be blind enough to allow it, an Irish +university could only become a hot-bed of treason, and practically all +educated members of the Roman Catholic community would avoid sending +their sons to such a seminary of sedition, where the influence would be +insidiously directed to make the undergraduates even more hostile to +England than they already are by inherited instincts and by all they +have been told in their own homes.</p> + +<p>On the very day this page is written, I have mentioned the question of +an Irish university to two Protestants in the Carlton, both Members of +Parliament, and both approved of the idea in a languid way. I have also +mooted the topic this afternoon to two leading Roman Catholics, and both +vehemently disapproved, alleging that it will work endless mischief.<a name="Page_117" id="Page_117" /></p> + +<p>As far back as 1872 Dr. Macaulay wrote:—</p> + +<p>'The Irish university question has been put off from year to year, and +at length presses for settlement.'</p> + +<p>In the best interests of Ireland, may the same thing be written thirty +years hence!</p> + +<p>If the Roman Catholics of England send their sons to Oxford and +Cambridge, why should not more Irish Roman Catholics send theirs to +Trinity College, Dublin? Only a very few do, although the education is +said to be quite as good as at either of the great English Universities. +A far tighter hold is kept, however, on the Roman Catholic laity in +Ireland than in England. It always surprises English people to learn +that, in Ireland, Roman Catholics are not allowed to enter Protestant +churches to attend either funerals or weddings. Nor do I think there is +much probability of these restrictions being removed.</p> + +<p>Of course, in the years of outrage and terror in Ireland, many of the +priests from the altar denounced loyal members of the congregation, or +incited their hearers to deeds of wickedness by their inflammatory +sermons. These facts are among the blackest in the history of any creed, +and I do not hesitate to class the work of some of the priests who +disgraced their Church with the worst perpetrations of the Spanish +Inquisition.</p> + +<p>Fortunately all priests were not, and are not, after this style. I have +known many good and worthy men among them, as well as capital fellows, +fond of a joke. Moreover, the Roman Catholic Church did not always take +the side of the Land League.<a name="Page_118" id="Page_118" /></p> + +<p>For example, the bishops and parish priests laboured assiduously to get +Lord Granard his rents from his estates in Longford.</p> + +<p>Why?</p> + +<p>Because Maynooth held a great mortgage on the property.</p> + +<p>In the famous De Freyne case, the parish priest energetically assisted +the landlord in every way in his power, because the property was heavily +mortgaged with Roman Catholic charges.</p> + +<p>These are two facts that occur to me on the spur of the moment, and +probably other people could supply similar instances.</p> + +<p>As for the Episcopacy, it was the violence of Dr. Walsh, the Archbishop +of Dublin, which prevented him from obtaining the coveted cardinal's +hat. This was given to Dr. Logue, the Archbishop of Armagh and Primate +of Ireland, a witty, capable, clever man, who had such an inveterate +habit of taking snuff that he did so even when conversing with Queen +Victoria.</p> + +<p>'It prevents me from sniffing out heresy,' he explained, with a twinkle, +'and so gives me an excuse for shutting my eyes to the different views +of my neighbours.'</p> + +<p>The Queen was much amused, but the remark conveyed a true view of Irish +Catholicism.</p> + +<p>The fact is, his bishop can do very little with a treasonable man when +once he has been inducted a parish priest; and the curate who obtains +irregular fees, of course, panders even more to the taste of his +congregation. A bishop will haul up a tonsured subordinate mighty sharp +for any breach of ecclesiastical duty, but when it comes to politics and +instigation to crime, he finds it far more difficult to keep a tight +hand.<a name="Page_119" id="Page_119" /></p> + +<p>As a broad rule it may be stated that the bishops are well selected, and +are of a much higher type than the average priest.</p> + +<p>Of the bishops of Killarney, Moriarty put down Fenianism with no light +hand, preaching, as I have already shown, in the most manly and emphatic +style—which could have been emulated with advantage in other +Episcopacies in my country. MacCarthy was a bookworm from Maynooth, who +played the deuce with the diocese, allowing all the priests to run wild, +and by his laxity becoming criminally responsible for much of the +terrible condition of Kerry. Higgins was the nominee of a friend of +Moriarty, and he worked hard to suppress outrages, by which course he +certainly did not add to his popularity among his flock. In his upright +and courageous conduct he has been worthily emulated by his successor, +Coffey, whose demise occurred only in the present year.</p> + +<p>Kerry possesses one bishop, fifty-one parish priests and administrators, +sixty-nine curates, and eleven priests occupied in tuition.</p> + +<p>There are six religious houses for males, and seventeen convents, +representing about five hundred inhabitants, as well as three hundred +students, which, with the occupants of subsidiary sacerdotal +establishments, is estimated to make up 1265 persons.</p> + +<p>In 1871, when the population of Kerry was 196,586, there were 337 +priests and nuns. In 1901, when the population had become reduced to +165,726, the priests and nuns had increased to 546.</p> + +<p>And these statistics bring me to a salient point:—</p> + +<p>The one reality above all others in Irish life is the grip of the +Church.</p> + +<p>In the last book which I have received from the library—<i>Paddy-Risky</i> +by Mr. Andrew Merry—one of the stories is that of a poor widow +beggaring herself in order to provide the parish chapel with a bell, and +that is the kind of thing you hear of everywhere.<a name="Page_120" id="Page_120" /></p> + +<p>The Roman Catholic Church presides over every function in the life of +each member of its community, and the priest charges heavily for +administering the rites.</p> + +<p>At a wedding he does not take a prescribed fee, but makes a bargain, +usually with the family of the bride. I have known as much as +twenty-five pounds paid to a priest at a small farmer's marriage; and +the sum obtained is very often out of all proportion to the dowry of the +bride, or even to the funds of the happy pair.</p> + +<p>An example may be cited—the case of a labourer in my own employ, who +received forty pounds as his wife's fortune, and had to pay eight to the +parish priest.</p> + +<p>It is the same thing with funerals, over which a ridiculous amount is +still spent, although the wake is falling into disrepute under the ban +of the Church, and women are now rarely hired to 'keen.' There is a +craze to have a number of priests attending the service, and a good many +of them do go, very well pleased, as to a picnic.</p> + +<p>In parishes where the poverty is something appalling the members of the +congregation not only contribute Peter's Pence, but you cannot go into +the chapel without seeing some tiny candles lighted before the altar of +Mary, which must literally represent the scriptural mites of the widow +and orphan.</p> + +<p>Before I relapse into a few stories, let me say something about the +Protestant clergy.</p> + +<p>They are nearly always recruited from the ranks of the smaller Irish +gentry, and whilst, perhaps, richer in proportion than many of the +curates and incumbents in England, there are no 'fat' livings, and all +are distinctly poorer since the Disestablishment.<a name="Page_121" id="Page_121" /></p> + +<p>The average in Kerry, and over most of the south of Ireland, is a +stipend of two hundred pounds a year, which involves reading services in +two churches each Sunday, and therefore puts the clergyman to the +expense of keeping a horse and trap.</p> + +<p>About 1820 the district around Castleisland was divided into three +parishes—Castleisland, Ballincushlane, and Killeentierna—the joint +revenues of which were eighteen hundred a year. These were vested in the +Lord Bandon of the time, who lived in the lovely cottage on the upper +Lake of Killarney.</p> + +<p>He allowed a curate fifty pounds a year to do the joint duties, and I +hardly think the man was worth the money. He subsequently obtained a +Government living and was in the habit of asking his congregation, as +they went into church, whether they wanted a sermon or not. The general +concensus of opinion was a polite negative—to the relief of all +parties.</p> + +<p>The method of electing a vicar in Ireland since the Disestablishment is +both sensible and practical.</p> + +<p>Three parish nominators, one lay diocesan nominator, two clerical +diocesan nominators, and the bishop, between them, choose the new +incumbent. By the constitution of this Court of Election, it is certain +that no one will be appointed to whom the parish objects, whilst if the +parish desires the nomination of an incompetent man, that is checked by +the diocesan voters in conjunction with the bishop.</p> + +<p>In fact it is an admirable system, far better than the patronage plan +still rampant in England.</p> + +<p>The Irish bishops are also chosen by nominators drawn from the clergy +and laity of the diocese, provided a two-thirds majority be obtained for +any one candidate. If not, the Irish bench of bishops jointly selects +the new wearer of lawn sleeves.<a name="Page_122" id="Page_122" /></p> + +<p>This, again, works with perfect smoothness and never arouses the +ill-feeling aroused by the selections nominally made by the Prime +Minister. To-day the <i>Foundations of Belief</i> may not be an essay which +causes confidence in the ability of the author to pick the best bishops, +and all the much-vaunted religious convictions of Mr. Gladstone did not +make his nominations to the Episcopacy particularly successful. It is +now no secret that Lord Cairns used to choose bishops for Disraeli and +that Lord Shaftesbury often was consulted by Prime Ministers who knew +more about sport than clericalism.</p> + +<p>So far as I can recollect, among all the Irish clergy I have met not one +was an Englishman, though there are plenty of Irish in the English +Established Church.</p> + +<p>All the Disestablished Church of Ireland is exceedingly +anti-ritualistic.</p> + +<p>'I do not want Mock-Turtle, when I am so near real Turtle,' said Sir +George Shiel, when asked to visit St. Alban's, Holborn, one of the +Ritualistic temples—an observation which represents the feeling +animating clergy and laity in Ireland, though they are none the better +pleased that out of the funds of the Disestablishment, Maynooth should +have received a capitalised sum equal to the previous annual grant from +Government.</p> + +<p>And now for just a few clerical tales.</p> + +<p>A man was dying and the priest was with him.</p> + +<p>'Ah, Father Philip,' said the poor fellow, 'I am sure the likes of you +would never be deceiving a poor man and him on his deathbed. Tell me +straight, is my soul all right?'<a name="Page_123" id="Page_123" /></p> + +<p>'It is, my son, and in a very short time you'll be in the company of the +Blessed Saints.'</p> + +<p>'In that case, Father, I'll tell the devil he may just kiss my toe and +bad luck to him for all the trouble I have had to get out of his +clutches,' and the priest noticed his last sigh was one of complete +satisfaction—no doubt anticipatory.</p> + +<p>Purgatory forms the foundation of many stories.</p> + +<p>A certain very poor widow was paying the priest money for the soul of +her son, who was killed in a faction fight.</p> + +<p>'And it's more masses you must have Mrs. Murphy, for Paddy has only got +his red hair out of purgatory.'</p> + +<p>Later, when she was asked for further contributions:—</p> + +<p>'It's his mouth which is out now, and he sends his mother on earth +messages to have prayers said to get him to heaven.'</p> + +<p>A third time did Widow Murphy give the priest what she could not in the +least afford.</p> + +<p>Yet again he reported progress.</p> + +<p>'Now you must make a great effort, for his head and shoulders are out of +purgatory.'</p> + +<p>'Then it's devil another penny of mine will go for masses, for if my Pat +has his head and shoulders out, I can safely reckon he'll soon wriggle +himself away entirely, God bless the poor darling.'</p> + +<p>Another purgatory tale, this time concerning Father Batt.</p> + +<p>A fellow-priest came to see him, and over a friendly glass:—</p> + +<p>'And what's the news?' asked Father Batt.</p> + +<p>'None that I know on earth, but I do hear tell that the floor of +purgatory has given way and all the inhabitants have fallen into hell.'<a name="Page_124" id="Page_124" /></p> + + +<p>'Oh, the poor Protestants, that will be all crushed by the weight atop +of them,' was Father Batt's rejoinder.</p> + +<p>Few priests in Kerry have been better known or more beloved than he, +almost the last of the old-fashioned school, and he was always warm +friends with his Protestant colleague in Milltown, where he resided.</p> + +<p>Father Batt invariably took a few tumblers of hot whisky punch after +dinner, and having got ill was advised by the doctor to give it up and +take to claret.</p> + +<p>When the bishop met him some time later, he said:—</p> + +<p>'Well, Father Batt, I am afraid you do not like claret so well as the +whisky.'</p> + +<p>'It's this way, my lord,' he replied. 'I don't object to the taste so +much as I thought I should, but I find it very tedious.'</p> + +<p>It is with some diffidence that I venture upon a convent story. To begin +with, I am a Protestant, and secondly, in relation to one of these +ladies' clubs under sacerdotal patronage I feel like Paul Pry, always +apologetic when putting in an appearance.</p> + +<p>Still, the tale is quite innocent and is absolutely true.</p> + +<p>The convent is in Kerry and up to recently the order had been an +enclosed one. But a papal edict arrived one day, bidding the nuns go out +to teach, and to collect, as well as to relieve, the suffering in their +own homes.</p> + +<p>The Mother Superior was exceedingly wroth.</p> + +<p>'What!' quoth she. 'Does the Holy Father want to be interfering with me +after I have been within these walls for the last eight-and-twenty +years? I am not going to begin tramping the roads at my time of life, +not for the Holy Father himself, no, nor all the Cardinals too. A pretty +state of things indeed. Why, he'll be telling me to ride a bicycle +next!'</p> + +<p>The county of Cork was at one time so notorious for cattle-stealing that +a Roman Catholic bishop went down specially to admonish them.<a name="Page_125" id="Page_125" /></p> + +<p>When telling one parish priest to be firm with his congregation on the +subject, the bishop observed:—</p> + +<p>'Nothing is more clearly laid down in the Bible than that if a man has +possession of another man's property he can never enter the kingdom of +heaven.'</p> + +<p>'The Saints preserve us,' exclaimed the priest; 'there'll be plenty of +empty houses there.'</p> + +<p>It is not uncommon for a priest to get a bit of truth by accident or by +cunning from one of his flock.</p> + +<p>The parish priest was congratulating a man who had married three wives +upon getting a bit of money with each, and received this answer:—</p> + +<p>'Well, your reverence, I did not do badly at all, but between the +weddings and the funerals, your reverence took care it was not all clear +profit.'</p> + +<p>There is plenty of hard barter about the terms of these ceremonies, and +on one occasion at Brosna, when the curate stood out for three pounds as +his fee for performing the marriage service, the would-be bridegroom +held out a thirty shilling note, saying:—</p> + +<p>'Marry yourself to this, your reverence, and we'll be happy with your +blessing.'</p> + +<p>As the persuasive eloquence of another man could not abate the price +which his priest demanded for a funeral, he blurted out:—</p> + +<p>'Why, the blessed corpse in purgatory would shiver at the thought of +costing so much to put away, and we but poor folk, with the pig that +contrary we don't know whether the litter will survive.'</p> + +<p>Here is a fish story connected with a member of my own family, Miss +Clarissa Hussey, who was my aunt, and also a pious Roman Catholic. She +used to hospitably entertain her confessor Father Tom, a priest with a +keen appreciation of the good things of the table. Among his +parishioners it was known that he indicated the value he put on the +coming fare by the length of his preliminary grace.<a name="Page_126" id="Page_126" /></p> + +<p>On a certain Friday in Lent he dined with her, and on a huge dish being +put down in front of his hostess, he expected a fine salmon, and +shutting his eyes proceeded to pronounce a benediction the length of +which greatly gratified my aunt. On the cover being removed, however, +his face fell, and in severe tones he rebuked her:—</p> + +<p>'Was it for bake, ma'am, that I offered up the full grace?'</p> + +<p>Nor could he be appeased all through the meal.</p> + +<p>That leads me to relate the funeral sermon delivered by a clergyman on a +lady who had died suddenly at her morning meal:—</p> + +<p>'You all, dear brethren, well know the loss we have sustained in our +departed sister. She was ever alert and kindly, ever bountiful though +without extravagance. To the last she preserved her characteristics. On +the fatal morning of her removal from among us, she rose as usual and +came to the family breakfast-table. With no premonition of what was to +come she took her egg-spoon and cracked her egg, an egg laid by one of +her own hens. In another moment failure of the heart transferred her to +a higher sphere. She began that egg on earth, she finished it in +heaven.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII" />CHAPTER XIII<a name="Page_127" id="Page_127" /></h2> + +<h4>CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS</h4> + + +<p>An Englishman once asked me, if I could suggest any way by which all +Ireland could be made loyal. I inquired if he thought the Irish +constabulary a loyal body.</p> + +<p>'Most decidedly,' said he, without hesitation.</p> + +<p>'Then,' I replied, 'if you will pay every Irishman seventy pounds a year +for doing nothing, but look after other people's affairs—a thing by +nature congenial to him as it is—you'll have the most loyal race on +earth.'</p> + +<p>That Englishman went away thoughtful, but I had shown him the solution +of one Irish problem which may be stated thus:—</p> + +<p>Why do one half of the sons of farmers in Ireland, who have been or are +members of the Irish constabulary, represent a body of men unequalled +for their respectability, loyalty, and courage, while a large proportion +of the other, at least in the eighties, made up the bulk of the ignoble +army of moonlighters, cattle maimers, and cowardly assassins crouching +behind stone walls to shoot at an unsuspecting victim in the opening?</p> + +<p>The answer is <i>£ s. d.</i>, not an agreeable one, but truth is not always +composed of sweetstuff.</p> + +<p>The constabulary are recruited from the sons of peasants and farmers. +They are drilled, disciplined, well fed, well clothed, well paid, and +show themselves well conducted. During all the bad times, there was not +a single case of a disaffected man, though every sort of inducement must +have been brought to bear on them. The prevailing characteristic of all +ranks has been the high sense of duty, so that they composed the most +mobile and the most effective corps in Europe.<a name="Page_128" id="Page_128" /></p> + +<p>As detectives, they have, however, proved quite ineffective, because the +peasant has everywhere been too shrewd for them; 'yet the relative +position of the police to the people, and the intimate connection with +America, marked it out as a force peculiarly adapted to the prevention +and detection of crime committed in Ireland, but often inspired from +America.' So wrote one of the most experienced resident magistrates, Mr. +Clifford Lloyd, afterwards Minister of the Interior in Egypt, and +subsequently Lieutenant Governor of the Mauritius and Consul at +Erzeroum, where he died at the age of forty-seven.</p> + +<p>The constabulary are enlisted without any consideration of creed, but +when Sir Duncan MacGregor was at the head of the force he arranged that +of the five men in every police barrack, two should be Protestant, and +three Roman Catholic, or <i>vice-versa</i>. This check has subsequently been +swept away, by no means to the advantage of the service.</p> + +<p>Very recently the Inspector General, and the Assistant Inspector General +retired, and their places were filled by an Englishman and an Irishman, +neither of whom had been in the force, which gave rise to great and +well-founded dissatisfaction. One of the pair is a warm friend of my +own, but that is no reason why I should approve of the appointment.</p> + +<p>While the bulk of the officers are Irish gentlemen, educated in Ireland, +Englishmen are also to be found among them. Officers enter by nomination +after passing an examination designed to show that they are not +'crammed,' but the perversity of the examiners has always thwarted this +excellent intention. That is like the admirable purpose of Cabinet +Ministers, bent on reforming their different departments, but +dexterously 'blocked' by the permanent officials.<a name="Page_129" id="Page_129" /></p> + +<p>Before the reduction commenced by Mr. Wyndham, the Constabulary numbered +10,679, and cost £1,390,917. In my opinion it will be found necessary in +the future, not only to keep the force up to its full strength, but to +materially increase its number so soon as the Government becomes the +sole landlord in Ireland, especially now that they are going to have +Volunteers in the country.</p> + +<p>The existence of this force merely means that landlords will be shot at +half price; so, for the sake of their own skins, the latter had better +get clear of the country before the recruits have had much musketry +instruction. The badness of the shooting saved many a landlord in the +eighties, and if that is remedied, why they will be popped as easily as +my grandson knocks over rabbits.</p> + +<p>There is a story of an English tourist seeking for information about the +distressful country, he being at Tallaght near Dublin.</p> + +<p>He asked his carman whether there were many Fenians about.</p> + +<p>'A terrible lot, your honour,' replied the fellow.</p> + +<p>'I suppose a thousand?' the tourist suggested, somewhat apprehensively.</p> + +<p>'That is so, and twenty thousand more,' answered the carman without +hesitation.</p> + +<p>'Are they armed?' was the next question.</p> + +<p>'They are that, and finely into the bargain.'</p> + +<p>'And are they prepared to come out?' the tourist being much perturbed, +and thinking it would be his duty to write to the <i>Times</i>.</p> + +<p>'Prepared to come out in the morning, your honour.'<a name="Page_130" id="Page_130" /></p> + +<p>'And why don't they do so?' with English common sense.</p> + +<p>'Begorra, because maybe if they did, the constabulary would put them in +jail.'</p> + +<p>So the constabulary have some value after all, in spite of the sneers of +Home Rule members in the House of Commons.</p> + +<p>Half a dozen Kerry priests screeched with laughter when I told them that +story in the train, having met them on a journey to Farranfore.</p> + +<p>Here is another I also gave them on that occasion.</p> + +<p>A couple of policemen were discussing the state of Ireland once upon a +time.</p> + +<p>Says Dan to Mick:—</p> + +<p>'Sure we'll niver get peace and quiet in the blessed country until we +fetch Oliver Cromwell up from hell to settle the unruly.'</p> + +<p>Replies Mick to Dan:—</p> + +<p>'Have done, you fool, isn't he a deal quieter where he is?'</p> + +<p>Judge Keagh thought worse of his fellow countrymen than do other men +with less than his great experience, and although a Roman Catholic, he +had to be escorted by two constables wherever he went.</p> + +<p>He was told that he ought to be guarded by four policemen, because the +two might be attacked.</p> + +<p>But he knew the man that said it wanted to make the protection more +conspicuous, so he replied:—</p> + +<p>'Sir, I have the most implicit confidence in the invincible cowardice of +my fellow countrymen.'</p> + +<p>That recalls an observation of my own.</p> + +<p>On one occasion, a telegram was sent from the Chief Inspector of +Constabulary in Kerry to the Scotland Yard authorities to say there was +to be an attempt to murder me in London, and in consequence a gentleman +from the department for providing traffic directors in metropolitan +streets called at my house in Elvaston Place, to inquire what police +protection I wanted.<a name="Page_131" id="Page_131" /></p> + +<p>'None,' said I, 'for if a man shoots me in London he'll be hung, and +every Irish scoundrel is careful of his own neck. It's altogether +another matter in Ireland, where Mr. Gladstone has carefully provided +that he shall be tried by a jury, the majority of which are certain to +be land leaguers.'</p> + +<p>I brought out the same idea on a more important occasion.</p> + +<p>Once, in Mr. Froude's house, Professor Max Müller—who was a great +admirer of Mr. Gladstone—remarked that after all I had not much reason +to complain, because I had had plenty of police protection in Ireland.</p> + +<p>'I should prefer equal laws,' said I.</p> + +<p>'What inequality of law have you to find fault with?' he asked.</p> + +<p>'Well,' I replied, 'if a land leaguer shoots me in Ireland, he will be +tried by a jury of land leaguers. If I shoot one of them, I would +require that I be tried by a jury of landlords, and if that be granted +I'll clear the road for myself of all suspicious characters, and ask for +no more police protection than you require at Oxford.'</p> + +<p>He subsided at that, and Froude laughed at him so heartily, that he had +not another word to say on the subject all day.</p> + +<p>Did you ever hear the rhyme about moonlighting? It runs as follows:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'The difference betwixt moonlight and moonshine<br /></span> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The people at last understand,<br /></span> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">For moonlight's the law of the League<br /></span> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And moonshine is the law of the land.'<br /></span> +</p> + +<p>That would have clinched my argument beyond all dispute, but the +expressive poem was not written at that time.<a name="Page_132" id="Page_132" /></p> + +<p>Reverting to the topics of this chapter, it is needless to observe that +there is a bond of connection between constabulary and dispensary +doctors, for the latter are needed on many occasions to attend to the +wounds of those just arrested.</p> + +<p>The dispensary doctors do not form a satisfactory feature of Irish life, +simply because the farmers elect individuals out of friendship.</p> + +<p>A dispensary doctor had to be appointed at Farranfore, and I was most +anxious to get the best man for the position. So I proposed that the +candidates' papers should all be submitted to Sir Dominic Corragun, a +Roman Catholic physician of high standing in Dublin.</p> + +<p>I could not even get a seconder to my motion, which therefore fell +stillborn, and I wrote to Lord Kenmare that if Gull or Jenner had been +suggested, neither of them would have obtained three votes.</p> + +<p>Virtually the appointment of the dispensary doctor is vested in the +dispensary Committee, which is a local body, usually consisting of one +or more guardians, and four or five specially elected ratepayers. In the +same way are chosen all the local sanitary authorities, who are of +course under the District Council.</p> + +<p>You remember that <i>Punch</i> called the sanitary inspector the insanitary +spectre, but the beneficent climate of Ireland fortunately averts all +the evils his authority would not be able to arrest if it came to really +checking filth.</p> + +<p>I remember the occasion of the election of another dispensary doctor, +when I was curtly told that only a moonlighter could hope to be +appointed.</p> + +<p>My reply was:—<a name="Page_133" id="Page_133" /></p> + +<p>'I suppose it is easier for him to poison people when he is drunk than +to shoot landlords when in an inebriated condition.'</p> + +<p>I do know that a dispensary doctor not thirty miles from Killarney was +thrown out of his trap, because he drove the horse through his own front +door, when he was under the intoxicated impression he was entering his +stable yard.</p> + +<p>He broke his leg, and as there was no one to set it, he told his nephew +to get a pail of plaster of Paris, and he himself would tell him how to +manage the operation.</p> + +<p>First they had a glass of whisky to fortify them for the ordeal, and +then another, and after that a third to drink good luck to the broken +leg.</p> + +<p>Finally, when they set about it, the nephew spilt the whole pail of +plaster of Paris over the bed in which his uncle lay, and then fell in a +drunken stupor into the mess. There they both stayed all night until +they were hacked out with a chisel in the morning.</p> + +<p>It is strange that the Irish, who are brimful of shrewd sense, use no +more discretion about appointing schoolmasters than dispensary doctors.</p> + +<p>The petty pedagogues, who are the Baboos of Ireland, are drawn from the +small-farmer class. There is great competition among the incompetent to +get lucrative posts in my native land: they probably appreciate the +Hibernian eccentricity of giving important positions to the men whose +claims in any other country would never obtain a moment's consideration.</p> + +<p>There was a schoolmaster near Castleisland, who died of sparing the rod +but not sparing the potation. His family were anxious his nephew should +be appointed.</p> + +<p>As he was an utter ne'er-do-weel, the parish priest justly considered +him unfit for the situation, and brought from a neighbouring county a +schoolmaster highly recommended by the National Convention.<a name="Page_134" id="Page_134" /></p> + +<p>They had a quiet way of expressing their feelings in Kerry in those +days, and the moonlighters fired by night through the windows of every +one who sent their children to the nominee of the parish priest.</p> + +<p>The District Inspector thought he had better look into the matter +himself, for it was stated they had always fired high with the sole +purpose of intimidating the occupants of the various cabins.</p> + +<p>However, when this inspecting authority found a bullet-hole in a +window-sill only three feet from the ground, he observed:—</p> + +<p>'Well, that shot was meant to kill.'</p> + +<p>One farmer standing by remarked:—</p> + +<p>'It was not right to fire into a house where there were a lot of little +children.'</p> + +<p>'Begorra,' cried another, in a tone of virtuous indignation, 'the +careless fellows might have killed the poor pig!'</p> + +<p>That was sworn before me.</p> + +<p>Here is another incident, also sworn to in my presence.</p> + +<p>I must explain that the first poor rate was in 1848, and half was made +up by local subscription, while the rent was added by the presentment of +the county, and not paid out of the rates. It was in those days a common +practice for dispensary doctors to put down on the list imaginary +subscriptions from friends, so as to draw more from the county.</p> + +<p>A young fellow, whose name had thus been used, fired into a Protestant +doctor's house, and threatened to murder everybody unless he was given +some money.</p> + +<p>He obtained half a crown, with which he bought a pint of whisky and a +mutton pie; but just as he was putting his teeth into the crust of the +latter, he paused in horror.<a name="Page_135" id="Page_135" /></p> + +<p>'I was near being lost for ever, body and soul,' says he, 'this being +Friday, and me so close on tasting meat.'</p> + +<p>The woman in the place where he bought the provisions proposed to keep +the mutton pie for him until the following day.</p> + +<p>He thanked her civilly, and went away, but had the misfortune to mistake +the police barracks for the rival whisky store, and was promptly +arrested for threatening with intent to do injury.</p> + +<p>The next day he asked to be allowed to eat his pie, which is how the +story came out.</p> + +<p>The dispensaries are often worked with more attention to the pocket of +those on the premises than is compatible with the principles of honesty, +as recognised outside the legal and medical professions. At one +dispensary in Kerry the Local Government Board was horrified at the +consumption of quinine—an expensive medicine. Indeed, so much +disappeared that, if it had not been for the chronic aversion of any +low-born Irishman to outside applications of liquid, it might have been +surmised that the patients were taking quinine baths. The matter was +privately put into the hands of the police, who within a week arrested +the secretary getting out of a back window with a big bottle of quinine, +which he meant to sell.</p> + +<p>That man, for the rest of his life, inveighed against the petty and +mischievous interference with private industry tyrannically waged by +public bodies.</p> + +<p>I should like to claim for Kerry the honour of being the land where the +following hoary chestnut originally was perpetrated, the exact locality +being Castleisland.</p> + +<p>A landlord, who had returned in a fit of absent-mindedness to his +property after a sojourn in England, was condoling with a woman on the +death of her husband, and asked:—<a name="Page_136" id="Page_136" /></p> + +<p>'What did he die of?'</p> + +<p>'Wishna, then, did he not die a natural death, your honour, for there +was no doctor attending him?'</p> + +<p>A not dissimilar story is that which concerns a Scotch laird who had +fallen very sick, so a specialist came from Edinburgh to assist the +local murderer in diagnosing the symptoms.</p> + +<p>The canny patient felt sure he would not be told what was the matter, so +he bade his servant conceal himself behind the curtains in the room +where the doctors talked it over, and to repeat to him what they said.</p> + +<p>This is what the faithful retainer brought as tidings of comfort to the +alarmed invalid:—</p> + +<p>'Weel, sir, the two were very gloomy, one saying one thing and the other +another; but after a while they cheered up and grew quite pleasant when +they had decided that they would know all about it at the post-mortem.'</p> + +<p>That recalls to my mind Sidney Smith's definition of a doctor as an +individual who put drugs of which he knew very little into a body of +which he knew considerably less.</p> + +<p>There is a rare lot of truth in some witticisms.</p> + +<p>For some illogical reason only known to my own brain—perhaps with the +desire of keeping up the fashion for inconsecutive and rambling +observations common to all books of reminiscences—the foregoing stories +suggest to my mind the excuse made to me by a wary scoundrel for not +paying his rent.</p> + +<p>'I had an illegant little heifer as ever your honour cast an eye over, +and who is a better judge than yourself, God bless you? But the Lord was +pleased to take her to Himself, and it would be flat heresy for me not +to say He is not as good a judge as your honour's self.'<a name="Page_137" id="Page_137" /></p> + +<p>There was an action brought against a veterinary surgeon for killing a +man's horse.</p> + +<p>Lord Morris knew something of medicine, as he did of most things, and +asked if the dose given would not have killed the devil himself.</p> + +<p>The vet. drew himself up pompously, and said:—</p> + +<p>'I never had the honour of attending that gentleman.'</p> + +<p>'That's a pity, doctor,' replied Morris, 'for he's alive still.'</p> + +<p>The Government introduced into the House of Lords an additional bill for +the complication and confiscation of landed property in Ireland.</p> + +<p>Lord Morris said it reminded him of the bill a veterinary surgeon sent +in to a friend of his, the last item of which ran:—</p> + +<p>'To curing your grey mare till she died, 10s. 6d.'</p> + +<p>Never was the Irish question more happily expressed than in his famous +reply to a lady who asked him if he could account for disaffection in +Ireland towards the English.</p> + +<p>'What else can you expect, ma'am, when a quick-witted race is governed +by an intensely stupid one?'</p> + +<p>Lord Morris told many stories, but for a change, here is one told of +him.</p> + +<p>A Belfast tourist was riding past Spiddal, and asked a countryman who +lived there.</p> + +<p>'One Judge Morris, your honour; but he lives the best part of his time +in Dublin.'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes,' says the other, 'that's Lord Chief Justice Morris.'</p> + +<p>'The very dead spit of him, your honour; and I was told he draws a +thousand a year salary.'<a name="Page_138" id="Page_138" /></p> + +<p>'He has five thousand five hundred a year.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, your honour, it's very hard to make me believe that.'</p> + +<p>'Why don't you believe it?'</p> + +<p>'Because when he's down here he passes my gate five days in the week, +and I never saw the sign of liquor on him.'</p> + +<p>Evidently the bigger salary the bigger profit to the whisky distiller +was the rustic's theory.</p> + +<p>I have forgotten how the story came to my ears, but I told it to Lord +Morris, who much appreciated it.</p> + +<p>Another Kerry story, not unlike one narrated earlier in this chapter, +runs thiswise:—</p> + +<p>Two men came to order a coffin for a mutual friend called Tim +O'Shaughnessy.</p> + +<p>Said the undertaker:—</p> + +<p>'I am sorry to hear poor Tim is gone. He had a famous way with him of +drinking whisky. What did he die of?'</p> + +<p>Replied one of the men:—</p> + +<p>'He is not dead yet at all; but the doctor says he will be before the +morning; and sure he should know, for he knows what he gave him.'</p> + +<p>Sometimes, however, the patient is quite as clever as the doctor.</p> + +<p>A physician in Dublin had a telephone put in his bedroom, and when he +was rung up about half-past one on a freezing wintry night, he told his +wife to answer it.</p> + +<p>She complied, and informed him:—</p> + +<p>'It is Mr. Shamus O'Brien, and he wants you to come round at once.'</p> + +<p>The physician knew this to be purely an imaginary case of illness, so +not wishing to be disturbed, said to her:—<a name="Page_139" id="Page_139" /></p> + +<p>'Tell him the doctor is out, and will not be home till morning.'</p> + +<p>Unfortunately he spoke so near the telephone that his remark was audible +to the patient. So when the wife had duly delivered the message, the +answer came back:—</p> + +<p>'If the man in your bed is a doctor, send him here.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV" />CHAPTER XIV<a name="Page_140" id="Page_140" /></h2> + +<h4>IRISH CHARACTERISTICS</h4> + + +<p>It's the proudest boast of my life that I am an Irishman, and the +compliment which I have most appreciated in my time was being called +'the poor man's friend,' for I love Paddy dearly though I see his +faults. Yes, perhaps one of the reasons why I love him is because I do +see the faults, for the errors of an Irishman are often almost as good +as the virtues of an Englishman, and are far more diverting into the +bargain. You must not judge Paddy by the same standard as you apply to +John. To begin with, he has not had the advantages, and secondly, +there's an ingrained whimsicality, for which I would not exchange all +the solid imperfections of his neighbour across the Irish Channel.</p> + +<p>You would not judge all Scotland by Glasgow, and so you should not fall +into the error of judging all Ireland by Belfast. Kerry is the jewel of +Ireland, and it is with Kerry that I have fortunately had most to do in +my life.</p> + +<p>Whilst I am alluding to the mistake of generalising, let me point out +how erroneous it is ever, historically, to talk of Ireland as one +country. When Henry II. annexed the whole land by a confiscation more +open but not more criminal than that instigated by Mr. Gladstone, there +were four perfectly separate kingdoms in the island. Now there are four +provinces which are quite distinct, and an Ulster man, or a Munster man, +or a Connaught man, knows far more, as a rule, of England, or even +Scotland, than he does of the other three provinces of his native isle. +For one Ulster man who has been in Munster, three hundred have been to +Liverpool or Greenock, and until lately there was no railway between +Connaught and Munster, so that you had to go nearly up to Dublin to get +from one to the other.<a name="Page_141" id="Page_141" /></p> + +<p>There is much that is incomprehensible to the Englishman who comes among +us taking notes, and not the least is that no one wants his +cut-and-dried schemes of reforming what we do not wish to reform. As for +conforming to his method and rule by vestry and county council autocracy +in a methodical manner, it is utterly at variance with the national +temperament. Very often, too, the stranger falls a victim to the +Irishman's love of fun, and goes back hopelessly 'spoofed' and quite +unaware what nonsense he is talking when he lays down the law on Ireland +far from that perplexing land.</p> + +<p>'Don't you want three acres and a cow?' asked an enthusiastic tourist +from Birmingham, soon after Mr. Jesse Collins had provided the +music-halls with the catch-phrase.</p> + +<p>'As for the cow I would not be after saying it would not be a comfort, +but what would the pig want with so much land?' was the peasant's reply.</p> + +<p>And that suggests an opportunity to give as my opinion that the most +practical measure England could take to benefit Ireland would be to +drain the large bogs and so improve fuel. In some places the bogs are +likely to be exhausted, but in others there is plenty of turf (turf, O +Saxon, is not the grass on which you play cricket or croquet, but is the +Hibernian for peat). Indeed, there is ample for all the needs of Ireland +for a hundred years to come, but it should not be used in the shamefully +wasteful way so often noticeable. It is no excuse that the heat it +contains is not so great as in coal.<a name="Page_142" id="Page_142" /></p> + +<p>If coal were to run out in England, to what a premium would turf rise in +Ireland!</p> + +<p>Formerly turf could be picked up free, and even now it is very cheap, +the chief expense to the consumer being the cost of transport from the +bog to the turf rick behind the cabin.</p> + +<p>The mineral rights of Ireland are most deceptive. There are plenty of +indications of minerals, but they are of too poor a nature to warrant +working.</p> + +<p>Personally, I tried working coal-pits near Castleisland for three +months, and silver lead was worked for six months near Tralee by a +company which was more successful in working its own way with the +bankruptcy court. I firmly believe the reputed mineral wealth of Ireland +to be greatly exaggerated, and should never advise any one to invest +money in a syndicate for its discovery. Smelting was largely perpetrated +in olden times in Ireland, which entailed cutting down the oak forests, +that then crossed the country, to obtain fuel, the ore being brought +from England. But the introduction of the coke process in the north of +England settled that industry, which was one of the earliest Irish ones +doomed to extinction.</p> + +<p>An Irish industry which as yet shows no sign of losing its commercial +importance is the blessed institution of matrimony, a holy thing which +in Ireland is particularly beneficial to the pockets of the priest, who +pronounces the blessing, and to the distiller, who sells the whisky, in +which the future of the happy pair is pledged.</p> + +<p>The matrimonial arrangements of Irish farmers in Kerry may sound queer +to an English reader, but are the outcome of an innate, though +unwritten, law that the whole family have a vested interest in the +affair.<a name="Page_143" id="Page_143" /></p> + +<p>For example, when the family is growing up, the farm is handed over to +the eldest son, who gives the parents a small allowance during their +lives, while the fortune that he gets with his wife goes, not to +himself, but to provide for his younger brothers and sisters.</p> + +<p>Hence, if the eldest son were to marry the Venus de Medici with ten +pounds less dowry than he could get with the ugliest wall-eyed female in +the neighbourhood, he would be considered as an enemy to all his family.</p> + +<p>A tenant of a neighbour of mine actually got married to a woman without +a penny, a thing unparalleled in my experience in Kerry, and his sister +presently came to my wife for some assistance.</p> + +<p>My wife asked her:—</p> + +<p>'Why does not your brother support you?'</p> + +<p>And she was answered:—</p> + +<p>'How could he support any one after bringing an empty woman to the +house?'</p> + +<p>There was a tenant of mine, paying about twenty-five pounds a year rent, +who died, and his son came to me to have his name inscribed in the rent +account.</p> + +<p>I asked him what will his father had made.</p> + +<p>He replied that he had left him the farm and its stock.</p> + +<p>'What's to become of your brother and sister?' says I.</p> + +<p>'They are to get whatever I draw,' says he.</p> + +<p>'That means whatever you get with your wife?'</p> + +<p>'That is so.'</p> + +<p>'Well, suppose you marry a girl worth only twenty pounds, what would +happen then?'</p> + +<p>'That would not do at all,' very gravely.</p> + +<p>'Is there no limit put on the worth of your wife?'<a name="Page_144" id="Page_144" /></p> + +<p>'Oh,' says he, 'I was valued at one hundred and sixty pounds.'</p> + +<p>I found out afterwards he had one hundred and seventy with his wife.</p> + +<p>A tenant on the Callinafercy estate got married, and the mother-in-law +and the daughter-in-law did not agree. So the elder came to complain to +the landlord of the girl's conduct, and after copiously describing +various delinquencies with the assistance of many invocations of the +saints, she wound up with:—</p> + +<p>'And the worst of all, Mr. Marshall, is that she gives herself all the +airs of a three hundred pound girl and she had but a hundred and fifty.'</p> + +<p>Filial obedience in the matter of marriage is as uniform in these +classes in Kerry as it is conspicuous by its absence in old English +novels and comedies. The sons never kick at the unions, the daughters +are never hauled weeping to the altar, while an elopement or a refusal +to fulfil a matrimonial engagement would arouse the indignation of the +whole country side.</p> + +<p>Decidedly these marriages turn out better than the made-up marriages in +France. I will go further, and seriously affirm my belief that the +marriages in Kerry show a greater average of happiness than any which +can be mentioned. To be sure there is the same dash after heiresses in +Kerry that you see in Mayfair, and the young farmer who is really +well-to-do is as much pursued as the heir to an earldom by matchmaking +mothers in Belgravia. But the subsequent results are much more +harmonious in Kerry, and though the landlord's advice is often asked to +settle financial difficulties in carrying out the matrimonial bargains, +less frequently is he called upon to settle differences between man and +wife.<a name="Page_145" id="Page_145" /></p> + +<p>'Sure, he's well enough meaning, your honour, with what brains the +Blessed Virgin could spare for him,' is the sort of remark a wife will +make on behalf of her lazy husband.</p> + +<p>Fidelity is the rule; so is reasonable give and take, though each, being +human, likes to receive better than to give. And one thing which +impresses a stranger is the rarity of illegitimate children out of the +towns. This is, of course, partly due to the influence of the priests, +but partly also to the innate purity of the Irish character, as well as +by the standard of respectability:—</p> + +<p>'Ah, he's a strong man,' you will hear said of So-and-So.</p> + +<p>'How do you prove that?' says I.</p> + +<p>'Why, has he not his farm, and his family with one son a priest, and one +daughter in a convent, and he with a bull for his own cows?'</p> + +<p>Could you want more to get him on the County Council if he has no +conscience and a convivial taste in the matter of whisky?</p> + +<p>There can be no doubt that the Irish take better care of their children +than the parents of similar position in either England or Scotland. +Cases of cruelty, which so constantly disfigure the police courts in +both the latter countries, are very rarely heard in the sister isle.</p> + +<p>It is true that in many cases they cannot do much for their offspring, +but what little they are able to do is done with a good will and +ungrudgingly.</p> + +<p>I remember a Saharan explorer telling me that in the desert he came +across some tribe, stark naked, utterly poor, but all on apparently +affectionate terms. He was much impressed with the love shown by the +children of all ages for their parents, and inquired what the latter did +to inspire such enviable emotion.<a name="Page_146" id="Page_146" /></p> + +<p>'We give them a handful of dates, when there are any.'</p> + +<p>It was apparently their sole form of sustenance.</p> + +<p>The Irishman is very good to his wife, although the courting is a matter +of business, as I have shown. Wife-beating and even more ignoble forms +of marital cruelty are almost unknown.</p> + +<p>This is surely a big national asset.</p> + +<p>Furthermore, the Irish are a very moral people; and this in spite of the +close proximity and confinement necessitated by the crowded condition of +many cabins.</p> + +<p>I was going to add that the light food may have something to say to +this, but as the Irish are not remarkable for their small families, this +would be an unwarrantable aspersion.</p> + +<p>Of course in the big towns there are women of no importance, and Dublin +has always borne rather a lively reputation in this respect, though that +in no way affects the general high standard of morality.</p> + +<p>The climate of the country, despite the moisture, is one conducive to +good health, owing to the absence of any extreme vicissitudes.</p> + +<p>It may be asked why, considering the overcrowding and insanitary +conditions of living in the miserable cabins, there is not more disease, +and my reply is that the peat which is burnt is so healthy as to act as +a disinfectant.</p> + +<p>Indigestion, like lunacy, is, however, largely on the increase.</p> + +<p>Nearly any old woman—or old man for the matter of that—as well as a +sad majority of younger people, will tell you:—</p> + +<p>'I have a pain in the stomach,' with the accent on the second syllable +of the locality.<a name="Page_147" id="Page_147" /></p> + +<p>This is due to excessive consumption of tea.</p> + +<p>Nearly twenty times as much tea must be drunk now in Kerry as in the +early sixties, and so far as I can recollect tea was unknown, not only +in the cabins but among the farmers until after the famine.</p> + +<p>Fairly good tea is obtained, for the Irish will never buy tea unless +they are asked a high price, and for that price they usually, owing to +competition, obtain an article not too perniciously adulterated.</p> + +<p>What is highly injurious is the method of making the tea.</p> + +<p>A lot is thrown into the pot on the fire in the cabin in the morning, +and there it stands simmering all day long, that those who want it may +help themselves.</p> + +<p>This is in sharp contrast to the method employed by Dr. Barter, the +famous hydropathic physician at Cork, one of the cleverest men I ever +met and one of the very few who never permitted medicine under any +circumstances, relying on water, packing, and Turkish baths, with strict +attention to diet.</p> + +<p>He used to make tea by putting half a teaspoonful into a wire strainer +which he held over his cup, and pouring boiling water upon the leaves, +the contents of his cup became a pale yellow, to which he added a little +milk and instantly drank it off, the whole process lasting but a few +seconds. I remember he equally disapproved of the Russian method of +drinking tea in a glass with lemon, of the fashionable way of letting +the water 'stand off the boil' upon the leaves in a teapot, and of the +Hibernian stewing arrangement alluded to above.</p> + +<p>Personally I regard all hydros as so many emporiums of disease, an +opinion in which I am singular, but that does not convince me I am +wrong.<a name="Page_148" id="Page_148" /></p> + +<p>A bailiff once went to St. Ann's Hydro to serve a writ, and he told me +afterwards that he served it on his victim in a Turkish bath, +remarking:—</p> + +<p>'And your heart would have melted within your honour in pity for the +poor creature not having a pocket to put the document in.'</p> + +<p>Which observation recalls to my mind the story of a gentleman in a +Turkish bath asking a friend to dinner, and saying:—</p> + +<p>'Don't mind dressing; come just as you are.'</p> + +<p>Another misunderstood answer was that of the absent-minded man who +entered a hansom and began to read a paper.</p> + +<p>'Where to?' at last cabby asked laconically.</p> + +<p>'Drive to the usual place.'</p> + +<p>'I'm afraid I have too much on the slate there, sir, unless you pay my +footing.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, go to hell,' retorted the other in a rage.</p> + +<p>'It's outside the radius, sir, and it will be a steep pull for my old +horse after we've dropped you.'</p> + +<p>The light-heartedness of the Celt is another feature which strikes the +least observant stranger.</p> + +<p>An Irishman has been described as a man who confided his soul to the +priest, and his body to the British Government, whilst he holds himself +devoid of any vestige of responsibility for the care of either.</p> + +<p>Here is another tale, illustrative of his contentment.</p> + +<p>A philosopher, in search of happiness, was told by a wise man that if he +got the shirt of a perfectly happy man and put it on, he would himself +become happy.<a name="Page_149" id="Page_149" /></p> + +<p>The philosopher wandered over the world, but could find no man whose +happiness had not some flaw, until he fell in with an Irishman; with +whom he promptly began to bargain for his shirt, only to find he had not +one to his back.</p> + +<p>From philosophy to the deuce is not a big stride, according to the view +of those folk who jibe at political economy and all the abstract of +virtues and governments. So, on the tail of their fancy, I am reminded +of another story about the devil—a very large number of Irish stories +are connected with him, because in a very special sense he is the +unauthorised patron saint of the sinners of the country, and he has had +far too much to say to its government into the bargain.</p> + +<p>An Englishman, in the witless way in which Saxons do address Irishmen, +asked a labourer by the wayside:—</p> + +<p>'If the devil came by, do you think he would take me or you?'</p> + +<p>The labourer never hesitated, but replied:—</p> + +<p>'He'd take me, your honour.'</p> + +<p>'Why do you say that?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, he would,' says he, 'because he's sure of your honour at any time.'</p> + +<p>The Irishman is not so black as he may seem to the Saxon, who reads with +disgust the horrors that mar the beauty of the Emerald Isle, and I +should say that his finest trait is patience under adversity. No nation, +for example, could have more calmly endured the terrible sufferings of +the famine, more especially as the high-strung nerves of the Celt render +him physically and mentally the very reverse of a stoic.</p> + +<p>Again, in no other nation are the family ties closer.</p> + +<p>The first thought of those who emigrate to America is to remit money to +the old folk in the cabin at home. So soon as the emigrants have +obtained a reasonable degree of comfort they will send home the passage +money to pay for bringing out younger brothers or sisters to them.<a name="Page_150" id="Page_150" /></p> + +<p>Did you ever hear the story of the homesick Kerry undergraduate at +Oxford, at his first construe with his tutor, translating <i>contiguare +omnes</i> as 'all of them County Kerry men'?</p> + +<p>It was a true home touch, though not exactly a classical reading of the +passage.</p> + +<p>In the same way, in my boyish days at Dingle, we all of us firmly +believed that King John had asked in what part of Kerry Ireland was. +That question was our local Magna Charta, though what the origin of the +tradition was I have no idea.</p> + +<p>But then things do differ according to the point of view, and ours of +history was not stranger than many others of far more importance.</p> + +<p>As an example of lack of comprehension I would cite the following +incident.</p> + +<p>An English gentleman was shooting grouse in Ireland. He got very few +birds, and said to the keeper:—</p> + +<p>'Why, these actually cost me a pound apiece.'</p> + +<p>'Begorra, your honour, it's lucky there are not more of them,' was the +unexpected answer.</p> + +<p>This allusion to sport reminds me of the Frenchman's description of +hunting in Ireland, which was to the effect that about thirty horsemen +and sixty dogs chased a wretched little animal ten miles, which resulted +in seven casualties, and when they caught the poor beast not one of them +would eat him.</p> + +<p>The French do not always appreciate our institutions. One of them +landing at Queenstown in the middle of the day asked if there was +anything he could amuse himself with between then and dinner-time.<a name="Page_151" id="Page_151" /></p> + +<p>'Certainly,' said the waiter; 'which would you like, wine or spirits?'</p> + +<p>By way of amusing the reader, before going any further, I will give him +a chance of reading a genuine, but unique testament in which I figured, +and which is not a bit more queer than many which have been as formally +proved.<br /><br /></p> + +<p>'I Robert Shanahan in my last will and testament do make my wife +Margaret Shanahan Manager or guardian over my farm and means provided +she remains unmarried if she do not I bequeath to her 2 shillings and +sixpence I leave the farm to my son Thomas Shanahan provided he conducts +himself if not I leave the farm to my son Robert Shanahan I also wish +that there should be a provision made for the rest of the family out of +the farm according as the following Executors which I appoint may think +fit Mr. Hussey Esq. Revd. Brusnan P.P. and James Casey of Gorneybee. +Given under my heand this 7th day of February 1872.<br /></p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 32em;">his</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 27.5em;">ROBERT X SHANAHAN.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 31.5em;">mark</span><br /> +Witnessed by<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">JOHN O'BRIEN.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">JEREMIAH CONNOR.'</span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>I have a few tales to tell of Kerry landlords, a race who would have +furnished Lever with a worthy theme, men as humorous as they are brave, +as diverting as they can stand, loyal to the Crown despite much +disparagement, and proud to be Irishmen, though so unappreciated by the +paid agitators and their weak tools.<a name="Page_152" id="Page_152" /></p> + +<p>However, as I wish to be on good terms with all my neighbours in this +world, and with the ghosts of the departed ones when I meet them in the +next, I am not going to give many names or rub up susceptibilities.</p> + +<p>Of Kerry landlords, Lord Kenmare naturally suggests himself to be first +mentioned. He has been somewhat unjustly attacked more than once about +the condition of Killarney as though the town was his private property. +As a matter of fact, he is utterly powerless there, as it was all leased +away for five hundred years by his grandfather. About the town the +following may be worth telling:—</p> + +<p>A very neat plan was drawn up for improving it, which included a gateway +between every double block of houses to lead down to the stables and +garden, but as it was not thought necessary to put a subletting clause +into the lease, the actual consequence was that all these passages were +converted into filthy lanes. Outside the town Lord Kenmare has built +some nice cottages, but within its confines he could effect nothing.</p> + +<p>To show you how short-lived is Irish gratitude, ponder over this:—</p> + +<p>When Mr. Daniel O'Connell, son of the great Dan, stood for West Kerry as +a Unionist, he was warned by the police officer that he could not be +answerable for his life if he came into Cahirciveen, for he had only +twenty constables to protect him; and his wife—a most charming +woman—when driving through the town was surrounded by an insulting mob, +members of which actually spat in her face.</p> + +<p>That reminds me of a similar experience which befell the wife of Mr. +Cavanagh, the man without arms and legs, who, until denounced by the +Land League, was exceptionally popular.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Cavanagh was walking along the road in Carlow carrying broth and +wine to a poor sick woman, when she found herself the target for a +number of stones and had to run for her life amid a shower of missiles.<a name="Page_153" id="Page_153" /></p> + + +<p>Despite his exceptional infirmities Mr. Cavanagh could do almost +anything. He used to ride most pluckily to hounds, strapped on to his +saddle. On one occasion the saddle turned under him, and the horse +trotted back to the stable-yard, with his master hanging under him, his +hair sweeping the ground, bleeding profusely; he merely cursed the groom +with emphatic volubility, had himself more safely readjusted, and then +rode out once more.</p> + +<p>He always wore pink when hunting. One day a pretty child of ten years +old was out with her groom, who followed the scent so ardently, that he +forgot all about his charge, who was left behind, and finding herself +lost in a wood, began to cry.</p> + +<p>Suddenly there swooped out on a very big horse, the armless and legless +figure of Cavanagh in his flaming coat, and seeing her predicament, he +seized her rein somehow—she never seems quite clear how—saying:—</p> + +<p>'Don't be frightened, little girl, for I know who you are, and will take +care of you.'</p> + +<p>He was as good as his word, but the high-strung, sensitive child, so +soon as she was in her mother's embrace, went from one fit of hysterics +to another, crying:—</p> + +<p>'Oh, mummy, I've seen the devil, I've seen the devil.'</p> + +<p>In after years they became great friends, and he often dined with her +after she married and settled in London.</p> + +<p>Reverting to Lord Kenmare, the following story, which in another version +recently won a railway story competition in some newspaper, really +pertains to his son Lord Castlerosse.</p> + +<p>On a line in Kerry there is a sharp curve overhanging the sea. An old +woman in a great state of nervous agitation was bundled at the last +moment into a first-class compartment.<a name="Page_154" id="Page_154" /></p> + +<p>Lord Castlerosse, the only passenger in the compartment, by way of +relieving her obvious agitation, tried to calm her by telling her she +could change at the next station.</p> + +<p>'Is it me that can be aisy,' she replied, 'when it's my Pat is driving +the engine, and him having a dhrop taken, and saying he'll take us a +shpin round the Head?'</p> + +<p>After all, to my mind, for sheer humour of a quiet sort, nothing beats +the observation of the late Sir John Godfrey, who never got up before +one in the day, and invariably breakfasted when his family were having +lunch. Being asked one day to account for this rather inconvenient +habit, he replied:—</p> + +<p>'The fact is, I sleep very slow.'</p> + +<p>I commend this to every sluggard who wants an excuse to resume his +slumbers when awakened too soon.</p> + +<p>There was a gentleman who had rather a red nose, and some one remarked +that it was an expensive piece of painting, to which some one else +significantly added, that it was not a water-colour.</p> + +<p>'No,' said Sir John, 'it was done in distemper.'</p> + +<p>One night a landlord in Kerry, who shall be nameless, though he has +passed over to the great majority, went to bed without having much +knowledge how he got there.</p> + +<p>Two of his sons crept to the neighbouring town, unscrewed the sign +outside the inn, and put it at the end of their parent's bed.</p> + +<p>When he awoke, he looked at the sign for some time in a bewildered way. +Then he observed aloud:—</p> + +<p>'I thought I went to sleep in my own bed, but I'm d——d if I have not +woke in the middle of the street.'</p> + +<p>A certain roystering gentleman named Jack Ray got drunk and fell asleep +in the woods of Kilcoleman. Some of the Godfrey boys, seeing him +prostrate and with foam on his lips, ran to summon their father, saying +to him:—<a name="Page_155" id="Page_155" /></p> + +<p>'There's a man dead in the wood.'</p> + +<p>Sir William hastened to the spot, and having put on his glasses to get a +view of the corpse, observed:—</p> + +<p>'Come away, my boys, this man dies once a week.'</p> + +<p>Another Kerry landlord, who was also a baronet, dealt with the National +Bank, the local manager of which was an arrant snob, who loved a title, +and bored everybody with his pretended intimacy with the impecunious +baronet. But at last even his patience was exhausted, and he sent the +squire a pretty stiff letter about the arrears due.</p> + +<p>The other received the letter at breakfast, and showed it to his son +just come down from a University, who whistled and ejaculated:—</p> + +<p>'O tempora! O mores!'</p> + +<p>His father instantly retorted:—</p> + +<p>'You get me the temporary, and I'll promptly see we have more ease.'</p> + +<p>In the bad times, an old woman came into the office at Tralee to pay her +rent. Mr. Francis Denny was in a real bad humour with somebody else who +had defaulted, and he was raging along in a manner qualified to display +his intimate acquaintance with the florid embellishments of the +language. The old woman listened with evident admiration for some time. +At last she ejaculated:—</p> + +<p>'Ah, the nate little man.'</p> + +<p>And with that slipped out, without settling her account.</p> + +<p>Mr. Francis Denny has the misfortune to be rather lame, and one day +another old woman, who liked him, observed:—</p> + +<p>'If he had two sound legs under him, there'd be no holding him in +Tralee, but he'd be up at the Castle setting the Lord Lieutenant right +in his many errors, not to mention going over to London to give the +Queen herself a bit of his mind.'<a name="Page_156" id="Page_156" /></p> + +<p>In the bad times, one lady was left in her Kerry residence with her baby +boy and a pack of maidservants, her husband having been called over to +England.</p> + +<p>She had sixty pounds of gold in her bedroom, and one night a housemaid +rushed in to say a party of moonlighters were in the house.</p> + +<p>The lady threw a sovereign and some silver on to the dressing-table, and +hid the rest under her mattress.</p> + +<p>In came the masked scoundrels asking for gold, and when she pointed to +the money that was visible, one replied that it was not enough.</p> + +<p>'Very well,' she said, 'give me your name and I'll write you a cheque.'</p> + +<p>On that they left precipitately, to her intense relief.</p> + +<p>All moonlighters calculated upon the terrorism their appearance would +cause, and if this was apparently conspicuous by its absence they were +nonplussed, because they never felt over secure in their own hearts at +the best of times, and grew frightened directly others were not +frightened by them.</p> + +<p>In all moonlighting affrays no one scoundrel ever became personally +conspicuous as a leader, and all the wisest leaders, such as Stephens, +Tynan, and Parnell, shrouded their movements in mystery. Fenianism in +Ireland since Emmett has never had one capable leader possessing the +physical courage to show himself in the forefront on all occasions.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, it is a singular fact that nearly every general of +note in the army of the United Kingdom, since the time of Marlborough, +has come from Ireland. The Duke of Wellington was born in County Meath, +Lord Gough in Tipperary, Lord Wolseley in County Carlow, Lord Roberts in +Waterford, Sir George White in Antrim, General French in Roscommon, and +Lord Kitchener in Kerry.<a name="Page_157" id="Page_157" /></p> + +<p>The attempts of the English Government to manufacture an English general +in the South African war were a miserable fiasco. They only produced +one, Sir Charles Tucker, and he did his best to atone for the accident +of his English birth by marrying a Kerry lady.</p> + +<p>I had the pleasure of meeting Sir Redvers Buller in Killarney, and after +he had been there a couple of days he proceeded to describe Kerry to me, +who had been managing one fifth of it for several years. His +agricultural reforms would have been as drastic as they were ludicrous +had any one attempted to carry them out, but when expatiating on them to +me, he was not even aware that there was any difference between an +English and an Irish acre. When I heard that he was taking charge of the +whole army in South Africa, I mentioned that as he had been unable to +command three hundred constabulary in Kerry, I was sceptical of his +ability to manage the British army. He was without exception the most +self-sufficient soldier I ever met, and his subsequent career has not +made me change my view.</p> + +<p>Here is a soldier story which is mighty illustrative of Irish traits.</p> + +<p>A peasant's son in Limerick enlisted in the militia for a month's +training, for which he received a bounty of three pounds. With part of +this money he bought a pig and gave it to his father to feed up. When +the pig was fattened, the father sold it and declined to give him the +price. So the son was seen by the police to take his father by the +throat, saying:—</p> + +<p>'Bad luck to you, old reprobate, do you want to deprive me of my pig +that I risked my life for in the British Army?'<a name="Page_158" id="Page_158" /></p> + +<p>Everywhere I like to slip into this book instances of the injuries +suffered by Irish landlords, so here is another case <i>à propos des +bottes</i>, if you will forgive it.</p> + +<p>The Knight of Kerry let nine acres of land to a tenant for a rent of +forty-five pounds. Having expended a large sum of money in roadmaking +and fences, at the tenant's request, he also borrowed thirty-five pounds +to build a small house for which he has to pay thirty-five shillings per +annum. The commissioners cut down the rent so heavily, that it has +resulted in the landlord having to pay five shillings a year for the +pleasure of looking at the man in occupation of his land.</p> + +<p>Reverting to my reminiscences—or rather to what are for myself less +interesting portions, for I am a land agent by profession and an +anecdotist only by habit—I remember that an Englishman subsequently a +Pasha commanded the coastguard at Dingle in 1856, and then had an +encounter with a local Justice of the Peace in which he came off second +best.</p> + +<p>Captain —— occupied the Grove demesne. The J.P., who had been a Scotch +militia officer, had been in the habit of shooting crows over the +demesne, and continued to enjoy the sport, to which the Captain strongly +objected. After an angry correspondence the J.P. sent a challenge, which +the other did not seem to stomach, for he sent an apology by a +subordinate with full permission to continue the immolation of the +birds. If a cruiser had to capitulate to this bold blockade runner, the +Captain himself had to endure a similar humiliation at the hands of an +indignant Kerry man, though he was very popular in Dingle.</p> + +<p>There is nothing pusillanimous about the Irishman, except when in cold +blood he was expected to attack an agent, or landlord, or policeman, +armed to the teeth. In such cases, he remembered that his parents, by +the blessing of the Holy Virgin, had endowed him with two legs, and only +one skin, which latter must therefore be saved by the discretionary +employment of the former.<a name="Page_159" id="Page_159" /></p> + +<p>In other cases he is very brave, especially in verbal encounters. +Fighting is in his blood. That is what makes the Irish soldier the best +in the world, and that was why he used to revel in the faction fights. +As a paternal Government now prevents the breaking of heads, at all +events on a wholesale scale, the pugnacious instincts of the nation have +to be gratified by litigation, and certainly there never was such a +litigious race in history as the contemporary Ireland.</p> + +<p>I know of a case on the Callinafercy estate, where a widow spent fifty +pounds 'in getting the law of' a neighbour whose donkey had browsed on +her side of a hedge. She took the case to the assizes, and when the +judge heard Mr. Leeson Marshall was her landlord, he said:—</p> + +<p>'Let him decide it. He's a barrister himself, and can judge far better +than I could on such a subject.'</p> + +<p>To this there are literally hundreds of parallels every year. Readers of +<i>La Terre</i> will remember how much of the funds went into the hands of +the lawyer who thrived on the animosities of the family, and that sort +of thing is constantly reduplicated in Kerry.</p> + +<p>'I'd sell my last cow to appeal on a point of law,' I once heard a +Killorgin farmer say; and that is typical of all the lower classes in +the South and West.</p> + +<p>As for the solicitors, I am not going to say a word about them, good or +bad: there are men no doubt worthy of either epithet in a profession +that preys on the troubles of other folk. But I will tell one very brief +story on the topic.</p> + +<p>Outside the Four Courts, a poor woman stopped Daniel O'Connell, +saying:—<a name="Page_160" id="Page_160" /></p> + +<p>'If you please, your honour, will you direct me to an honest attorney?'</p> + +<p>The Liberator pushed back his wig and scratched his head.</p> + +<p>'Well now, you beat me entirely, ma'am,' was his answer.</p> + +<p>He had more experience than me, being one.</p> + +<p>Talking of the Four Courts reminds me of Chief Baron Guillamore, who had +as much wit as will provoke 'laughter in court,' and a trifle over that +infinitesimal quantity as well.</p> + +<p>A new Act of Parliament had been passed to prevent people from stealing +timber. A stupid juryman asked if he could prosecute a man under that +act for stealing turnips.</p> + +<p>'Certainly not, unless they are very sticky,' retorted the judge.</p> + +<p>His brother was a magistrate, and committed a barrister in petty +sessions for contempt of court. An action was brought against him, but +the Chief Baron raised so many legal exceptions, that it had finally to +be abandoned through the fraternal law-moulding. This action was pending +in the civil court, when a lawyer was very impertinent to the Chief +Baron in the criminal. Instead of committing him, the Chief Baron said +very quietly:—</p> + +<p>'If you do not keep quiet, I shall send to the next Court for my +brother.'</p> + +<p>Another judge had applied for shares in a company of which a friend of +his was secretary. Meeting him in Sackville Street, he stopped him to +inquire what would be the paid-up capital of the concern.</p> + +<p>The other forgot whom he was addressing, and blurted out the truth by +replying:—</p> + +<p>'Well, I really cannot tell you just yet, but the cheques are coming in +fast.'<a name="Page_161" id="Page_161" /></p> + +<p>The judge withdrew his application by the next post, and confidently +expected to see his friend in the dock. I believe in less than six +months he was not disappointed.</p> + +<p>The poorer class in Ireland do not appear to be business-like in the +ordinary sense, however much they may develop commercial instincts after +emigrating. It is to promote the latent capacity obviously within their +power that creameries and other assisted promotions have been started in +various parts of the country, sometimes with great success. Sir Horace +Plunkett and others have dealt with all this in the most serious spirit. +I prefer to allude to it, and add one anecdote.</p> + +<p>A lady asked a respectable old woman how her son was getting on as +manager of the creamery, and the reply came after the following +fashion:—</p> + +<p>'Whisna the poor man and all the trouble he has, and him never able to +make the butter and the books scoromund,' which, being translated, is +'correspond.'</p> + +<p>Another example I can cite of the difficulty in getting people to put +their intelligence to practical use in the south is to this effect:—</p> + +<p>There was a certain widdy woman in a neighbouring parish who was making +great lamentation over her 'pitaties' to the priest, and in consequence +he lent her a machine for the purpose of spraying them. She professed +the profoundest gratitude as well as interest in the implement, but the +task speedily became too big an effort, for she subsequently informed me +that she had sprayed 'half the field to plase his Rivirence, but left +the rest to God.'</p> + +<p>And that is the kind of negative piety which is distinctly a +characteristic Irish trait.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV" />CHAPTER XV<a name="Page_162" id="Page_162" /></h2> + +<h4>LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES</h4> + + +<p>Any Irishman who has reached the shady side of threescore years and ten +must remember many Lord-Lieutenants—the pompously visible symbols of +much vacillating misdirection.</p> + +<p>To analyse them would be the work of an historian, to criticise would be +superfluous. They have been so many Malvolios, all alike anxious to win +the favour of that capricious Lady Olivia Erin, and not one of them has +succeeded, though several have merited better fortune than they met with +on Irish soil.</p> + +<p>The first Lord-Lieutenant I personally met was Lord Carlisle.</p> + +<p>He was a gentleman, but not otherwise remarkable. He had come into the +Government on the resignation of the Peelites, and his popularity in +Ireland was greater than any other holder of the post in the century, +possibly owing to his negative qualities, and also to a charm of manner +more effusive than usual among Englishmen.</p> + +<p>He had a habit of dropping his state, and going about Dublin, if not +like Haroun Alraschid, at least with the independence of men in less +august positions.</p> + +<p>On one occasion, needing some local information, he went to see the Lord +Mayor of Dublin, but finding him out, was given the address of an +alderman who could tell him what he wanted to know.<a name="Page_163" id="Page_163" /></p> + +<p>The alderman was not in either, but his wife was, and begged him to stop +to lunch, which was just being served.</p> + +<p>Lord Carlisle told her he hardly ever ate lunch, and was not in the +least hungry.</p> + +<p>But under pressure he sat down to the meal, and got on very well with +it, whereat the lady remarked:—</p> + +<p>'You see, your Excellency, eating is like scratching: when you once +begin it is hard to stop.'</p> + +<p>His predecessor, Lord Clarendon, had been in office when Lord John +Russell, the Prime Minister, urged on the House of Commons a bill for +the abolition of the Lord-Lieutenancy. The great point that he made was +that the Chief Secretary might become a mayor of the viceregal palace, a +thing that has now long been the case, for the Lord-Lieutenant has to be +a plutocrat of high descent, and the Chief Secretary is the virtual +administrator of Ireland—a thing unknown, however, until the advent of +Mr. Foster. The second reading was carried by a majority of over a +hundred and fifty, but it was then dropped.</p> + +<p>The story went that the Duke of Wellington had suggested to Prince +Albert the possible diminution of respect for the Crown in Ireland +without a visible representative, and the Teutonic mind could not endure +such a notion.</p> + +<p>Lord Clarendon upheld the dignity of his position, though he was liked +by neither party in Ireland. He is the only Lord-Lieutenant who ever +administered sharp discipline to the Orangemen—who regard their loyalty +as permitting them a good deal of licence—for he removed the name of +their leader, Lord Roden, from the Commission of the Peace because he +encouraged a turbulent procession at Dolly's Brae. With his pompous +manner he made a very Brummagem monarch, quite indifferent to his +unpopularity. As a matter of fact, some allege that all Lord-Lieutenants +are hated by the disloyal section of the populace, and if they go +through the farce of currying popularity, they can only do so by largely +patronising about a dozen shopkeepers, who eventually curse because yet +more has not been spent. But this is altogether too limited to be true.<a name="Page_164" id="Page_164" /></p> + + +<p>Lord Kimberley followed Lord Carlisle. In those days he was Lord +Wodehouse, and the Fenians used to issue mock proclamations, in ridicule +of his, signed 'Woodlouse.' He was an experienced parliamentarian—a man +who held office for many years, and worked conscientiously, according to +his lights.</p> + +<p>In Ireland he always appeared to be a naturalist, perplexed at not +understanding the species among which his lot was for the time cast.</p> + +<p>His mother was subsequently married to Mr. Crosbie Moore, and she ran +away with Colonel Fitz-Gibbon, afterwards Lord Clare.</p> + +<p>Mr. Crosbie Moore had not much sense of humour, as the following tale +will show.</p> + +<p>He was presiding at Ballyporeen Petty Sessions, when a village tailor +was summoned for having his pig wandering on the road.</p> + +<p>The fellow pleaded that it was due to great curiosity on the part of the +pig, who saw some constabulary passing by, and rushed out to see what +they were like.</p> + +<p>He made this explanation in such humorous fashion that most of the +magistrates were for letting him off; but Mr. Crosbie Moore said it was +scandalous that they had directed the police to summon people on that +very ground, and they wanted to acquit the culprit because he had made a +joke.</p> + +<p>The rest of the Bench had to acquiesce, and the tailor was fined one +shilling.<a name="Page_165" id="Page_165" /></p> + +<p>He paid his shilling, and said:—</p> + +<p>'I have no blame to you at all, gentlemen, except to Mr. Crosbie Moore; +and, indeed, if he reflected, he should have known that no live man +could keep a woman or a pig in the house when she wanted to be off.'</p> + +<p>A subscription raised for him outside the Court realised twenty-three +shillings.</p> + +<p>Tradition goes that when Lord Kimberley, Lord Carlingford, and Lord +Granville were all in Mr. Gladstone's Cabinet, Mr. Chamberlain—then at +the Board of Trade—in a moment of vexation called them 'Gladstone's +grannies,' and if the phrase is not his, it most certainly was apt and +truthful.</p> + +<p>Lord Kimberley was known as 'Pussy' among a gang of disrespectful +subordinates. He really did as little to earn respect as he did to +forfeit it; in fact he was a pre-eminently respectable mediocrity of the +kind that, towards the close of the mid-Victorian period, clung like +barnacles to office, and he was a Whig during the period that Whiggism +was growing obsolete.</p> + +<p>The Duke of Abercorn certainly had no tendencies towards the lavish +extravagance by which a modern Lord-Lieutenant has to pay his footing. A +short time before he was chosen he had claimed the Dukedom of +Chatelherault in France, and was known in consequence among the +malcontents as the 'French Frog.' His wife was the daughter of one Duke +of Bedford, and when another came to stay at the viceregal, it was for a +time called the 'Dukeries.' The A.D.C.'s, who were particularly +good-looking, were at once known as the 'Duckeries.'</p> + +<p>The Duke of Marlborough settled down well to his work. He was frankly +the friend of the landlords, and did his best for them. But he brought +no English politicians in his train; he never thought he could settle +every Irish question after he had smoked a pipe over it; and he was +never inaccessible.<a name="Page_166" id="Page_166" /></p> + +<p>He came on a visit to Muckross when Sir Ivor Guest had the shooting, and +I dined there to meet him. He visited Killarney on several occasions, +and on each of them I had long talks with him. I always thought him a +painstaking, well-meaning man.</p> + +<p>Lord Cowper was an honest nonentity who left the country in disgust +because he was not backed up by the Government. Several modern +figureheads would be very much surprised at any Government expecting +them to do more than 'understudy Royalty.' But Cowper thought himself a +diplomatist; was fond of authoritatively laying down the law on +continental affairs, as though he had the refusal of the Foreign Office +in his pocket; and felt he ought to have as much support as Palmerston +obtained from the various Cabinets he burdened with European embroglios.</p> + +<p>However, Lord Spencer, on being reappointed for a second term, took up +the thankless task at an especially black moment. He was as brave as a +lion; and if his red beard gained him the nickname of 'Rufus,' the Red +Viceroy was as fearless as though his life were absolutely secure, +instead of depending wholly on the vigilance of those surrounding him.</p> + +<p>We all admired Lord Spencer for his firmness; but this was soon +discovered to be due to the fact that he absolutely followed the sage +advice of Sir Edward Sullivan, the Lord Chancellor, and after the death +of the latter, Lord Spencer's weakness was quite as remarkable as his +previous firmness.</p> + +<p>He was seen on one occasion with his hands pressing his back.</p> + +<p>Said one man:—<a name="Page_167" id="Page_167" /></p> + +<p>'I fear his Excellency has lumbago.'</p> + +<p>'Not at all,' replied his friend; 'he is feeling for his backbone.'</p> + +<p>The state of Westmeath was really the worst feature of the period of his +rule, yet Lord Spenser was in the country all the while, and allowed +matters to degenerate with his eyes open.</p> + +<p>He rode hard to hounds, in spite of countless threats, and might have +had a less uncomfortable time had the head of the Constabulary been as +thoroughly capable as his subordinates.</p> + +<p>Lord Carnarvon very nearly ruined the Government by his communications +with Mr. Parnell. He meant well, and struck out a patriotic line of his +own, which failed because it was made in absolute ignorance of the Irish +character. But he never intended to involve his colleagues, although +numbers of people chose to regard him as a Tory Home Ruler. His previous +action in resigning the Secretaryship of the Colonies in Lord Derby's +third administration, owing to a difference of opinion on parliamentary +reform, and his subsequent resignation because he disapproved of Lord +Beaconsfield's Eastern action in 1878, showed him to be a man of marked +and fearless opinions. Lord Salisbury ought to have known that he was +thrusting a brand into the fire when he sent him to be the official +bellows-blower of the Hibernian pot.</p> + +<p>Lord Aberdeen will always be remembered as the husband of his wife. Lady +Aberdeen was a more ardent Home Ruler than even her brother, Lord +Tweedmouth. On one occasion Lord Morris was next her at dinner, and she +said she supposed the majority of people in Ireland were in favour of +Home Rule.</p> + +<p>'Indeed, then, with the exception of yourself and the waiters, there's +not one in the room,' was his answer.<a name="Page_168" id="Page_168" /></p> + +<p>'Of course, not in the Castle,' she replied with dignity; 'but in your +profession, and when you are on circuit, surely you must meet a good +many?'</p> + +<p>'Occasionally—in the dock,' he drily retorted, after which she +discreetly dropped the subject.</p> + +<p>Lord Aberdeen was most exemplary during his brief tenure of office, and +certainly it was not in his time that the folk christened the royal box +at the theatre the 'loose box,' in allusion to the rather dubious +English guests of the vivacious viceroy.</p> + +<p>Lord Londonderry and Lord Zetland may be both briefly bracketed together +as having done their duty admirably in times less out of joint than +those of their predecessors. Lord Londonderry always drank Irish whisky +himself, and recommended it to his guests as a capital beverage—a thing +which the licensed victuallers did not mind mentioning to Paddy and Mick +when they were having a drop, despite their vaunted contempt of all at +'the Castle.'</p> + +<p>No other Lord-Lieutenant ever had such a mournful experience as Lord +Houghton. Son of Monckton Milnes, the 'cool of the evening,' he needed +his father's temperament to enable him to endure the boycott which Irish +society inflicted on him as the representative of the Home Rule +disruption policy. With no class did he go down, and on a crowded +market-day in Tralee not a hat was raised to him.</p> + +<p>One of his A.D.C.'s was subsequently on the veldt, and when asked if it +was not lonely, he replied:—</p> + +<p>'Not more than Dublin Castle, when Houghton was the king.'</p> + +<p>On one occasion some people were officially commanded to dine. Not a +carriage was to be seen as they drove up to the Viceregal Lodge, so the +gentleman told his coachman to drive round the Phoenix Park, as they +must be too early. There was still no sign of any gathering as they +again approached the official residence, and when they entered they +found they were the only guests, and the infuriated Lord Houghton, as +well as all his household had been kept waiting twenty minutes by this +hapless pair.<a name="Page_169" id="Page_169" /></p> + +<p>Another story, which was much enjoyed in Ireland as showing the +pomposity of his Excellency, may be recalled. Whether true it is now +difficult to say, but there is no doubt that the tale was started among +the very house-party who were at Carton at the time.</p> + +<p>The beautiful <i>châtelaine</i>, the lovely Duchess of Leinster, was walking +through the fields one Sunday afternoon with Lord Houghton.</p> + +<p>They came to a gate, which he opened, but to her astonishment proceeded +to walk through it first himself.</p> + +<p>The indignant Duchess haughtily remarked:—</p> + +<p>'The Prince of Wales would not think of passing through a gate before +me.'</p> + +<p>'That may be; but I represent the Queen,' replied Lord Houghton, with +unruffled imperturbability.</p> + +<p>Lord Cadogan and Lord Dudley come so absolutely into contemporary +history that on them nothing can here be said, except that their +munificence has rendered it impossible for any peer of moderate private +means to hold the office.</p> + +<p>In sober truth, however, the administration of Government really rests +with the Chief Secretary in recent times, although it was not so before +the advent of Mr. Foster. Men like Lord Naas, Sir Robert Peel the +younger, and Mr. Chichester Fortescue—afterwards Lord Carlingford—were +mere official cyphers, but after Mr. Gladstone's 1880 ministry this has +never been the case.<a name="Page_170" id="Page_170" /></p> + +<p>Of Sir Robert Peel it was wittily said that when Chief Secretary he went +through the country on an outside car, which made him take a one-sided +view of the Irish question.</p> + +<p>Lord Morris said to an inquiring Scottish M.P.:—</p> + +<p>'Did you ever know a Scottish Secretary who was not Scottish, or an +Irish Secretary who was Irish?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Scotsman.</p> + +<p>'Well, go home and moralise over that as a possible solution of some +Irish difficulties, for may be, if an Irishman was sent over, by +accident, to be Chief Secretary, the official would not fall into the +mistake of trying to reconcile the irerconcilable.'</p> + +<p>And to my mind Lord Morris had the last word in every sense.</p> + +<p>Mr. W.E. Forster was far too honest to be the tool of Mr. Gladstone's +Hibernian dishonesty. He was perfectly fearless, but, beneath his rugged +exterior, deeply sensitive. He winced under 'buckshot,' and many other +epithets; but abuse and danger alike never prevented him from doing what +he had to do to the best of his ability. His earliest acquaintance with +Ireland had been in the famine, when he was one of the deputation of +succour organised by the Society of Friends, and everybody who has read +Mr. Morley's <i>Life of Cobden</i> will remember the appreciation of their +efforts by the great free-trader.</p> + +<p>Mr. Forster did not think the Irish administration should be all 'a +scuffle and a scramble,' and he inaugurated a reversal of the old +balance between Lord-Lieutenants and Chief Secretaries which has never +been subsequently changed. Indeed, it is often only the latter who has a +seat in the Cabinet. He was the victim of many misapprehensions—the +bulk of them wilful—but one which worried him was a widespread +conviction that he was a slow man. His delivery was slow, his manner +deliberate, and he did not lightly give an opinion. Yet emphatically he +was not a slow man, and as an instance may be stated the fact that he +elaborated his scheme of decentralising the powers of the Irish +Government in a single evening in December 1881. I know he was harassed, +nay, martyrised, beyond endurance, through the evasive volubility of Mr. +Gladstone, which, both by mouth and letter, formed a heavier burden than +all the Irish attacks; but he was a just and conscientious man, and I +never heard of a case where appeal was made to him on which he did not +act as reasonably as was compatible with loyalty to such a Prime +Minister.<a name="Page_171" id="Page_171" /></p> + +<p>His courage in walking unarmed and without police escort in Tulla and +Athenry was as great as ever was displayed by a knight-errant of old. +The Nationalist papers, no longer able to taunt him with cowardice, took +to declaring him to be a person notorious for ferocious brutality.</p> + +<p>Sir Wemyss Reid said that in the House of Commons his fellow-members had +literally seen his hair whiten during those two years of patriotic +martyrdom in Ireland, and I always feel that the inner life of this +reticent, commanding statesman would have made a wonderful human +document. His capacity, if not his forbearance, has been inherited by +his adopted son, Mr. Arnold Forster, the present Secretary for War, who +acted as his private secretary in the latter years of his life.</p> + +<p>When I read Lord Rosebery's speech advocating a Cabinet of business men, +I instinctively thought of the late Mr. W.E. Forster, and it is his heir +who is the first illustration of the Liberal Peer's theory. Since +Cromwell cleared out the House of Commons, no one has done so much as +Mr. Arnold Forster, for he upset the seats of the mighty in the War +Office three months after he kissed hands. I wonder how he would have +dealt with Parnellism and crime.<a name="Page_172" id="Page_172" /></p> + +<p>Mr. Forster's predecessor, Mr. James Lowther, was an uncommonly capable +man, and gifted with a fund of humour which prevented him from taking +the Irish too seriously. In 1879 I heard the Irish members in the House +of Commons vituperating him after a manner that subsequently became +unpleasantly familiar, but was then regarded as a gross breach of the +conventions of debate. 'Jim' lay back on the Treasury bench with his hat +over his eyes, and to all appearance sound asleep. Never once did he +show sign of hearing their verbal tornado; but eventually he sprang to +his feet, and with infectious gaiety literally chaffed them to madness. +I have often thought that the long-limbed Tory member for Hertford, who +was then private secretary to his uncle, Lord Salisbury, must have taken +note of the methods of Mr. Lowther in dealing with the Irish party, for +it was absolutely on the same lines that he subsequently developed that +superb flow of sarcasm which made him, Mr. A.J. Balfour, the popular +idol ten years later.</p> + +<p>It has been a practice for many years to appoint a man Chief Secretary +for Ireland in order to see if he is fit for anything else. This plan +turned out well in the case of Mr. A.J. Balfour, for he knew Ireland +better than any other Chief Secretary, and when he came to know it +properly he was removed.</p> + +<p>His brother did as much harm in Ireland as Mr. Arthur Balfour did good. +Indeed, in the whole nineteenth century no other incompetent Chief +Secretary misunderstood Ireland with such complete complacency, and if +it had not been for the supervision which 'A.J.' undoubtedly gave, Mr. +Gerald Balfour would have a still worse record.<a name="Page_173" id="Page_173" /></p> + +<p>There was a poem, not particularly brilliant, which may be quoted +because it is not widely known:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'If I had a Balfour who wrong would go,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.25em;">Do you think I'd tolerate him?—No, no, no!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.25em;">I'd give him coercion in Kilmainham jail,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.25em;">And return him to Arthur, who'd laugh at his wail.'</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>In fact the impression prevailed that Ireland was then sacrificed to the +nepotism of Lord Salisbury, who had inflicted the least capable of the +House of Cecil on the distressful country.</p> + +<p>When the Duke of York was in Ireland, he stayed with Lord Dunraven, and +Mr. Gerald Balfour as Chief Secretary was one of the house-party, and +the mother of the Knight of Glin was also there.</p> + +<p>A short time before, a chemist from Cork, who had been appointed +sub-confiscator, and desired to secure his own position, had heavily cut +down the Fitzgerald rents.</p> + +<p>Mr. Balfour, by way of making polite conversation, observed to Mrs. +Fitzgerald:—</p> + +<p>'I believe your son's property has been a long time in the family.'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' she said, 'we got it in the reign of Edward I., and held it until +last year, when the Government sent an apothecary from Cork to rob us of +it.'</p> + +<p>The conversation dropped.</p> + +<p>Mr. Arthur Balfour was very plucky, not only personally, but in his +legislative efforts, and he did wonders for Ireland—the light railways +relieving numbers from starvation, and opening up the country.<a name="Page_174" id="Page_174" /></p> + +<p>An English journalist went down to the West, and tried to make inquiries +about the popularity of the Chief Secretary.</p> + +<p>He came to the cabin of a man who had been rescued from starvation by +getting Government employment, and had thrived so well that he had +become possessed of a pig.</p> + +<p>This pig, on the appearance of the Englishman, escaped into a +potato-field, and he heard the woman of the house shout to her son:—</p> + +<p>'Mickey, look sharp and turn out Arthur Balfour before he does any +mischief.'</p> + +<p>The name of the pig showed the gratitude of the family.</p> + +<p>When alluding to Mr. Lowther I omitted to mention that he was always of +opinion that a well-planned scheme of education was the best panacea for +the Irish troubles, and it certainly would have brought up a generation +less keenly sensitive to the exaggerated wrongs of the country to which +both sexes are so frantically attached. During his not very lengthy +tenure of the office of Chief Secretary it was asserted that Sir George +Trevelyan also had some such idea; but whether he went so far as to +draft his plan, and it was consigned to some forgotten pigeon-hole by +Mr. Gladstone, I cannot say.</p> + +<p>When the Duke of Argyll described Sir George Trevelyan as a jelly-fish, +he made a comparison which, from my personal experience, I should call +particularly apt.</p> + +<p>Ireland had very little use for such a flabby politician, and it may be +added, he had very little use for Ireland.</p> + +<p>He was in such a devil of a fright at being forced to succeed poor Lord +Frederick Cavendish that it was some time before the pressure put upon +him sufficed to make him accept office, nor would he be induced to go +over to Dublin Castle at all until he had been given Cabinet rank. As +for the Cabinet, they were so anxious to settle upon a living target for +the Home Rulers to practise upon, and so afraid that through his default +one of themselves might have to undertake the unpleasant office, that +they would have given the prospective victim almost anything he liked, +on the principle of letting the condemned criminal choose what he +prefers for his final meal before that brief interview with the hangman.<a name="Page_175" id="Page_175" /></p> + + +<p>Directly after the formation of the following Radical Government, I met +an Englishman of considerable political importance in Pall Mall, and he +observed:—</p> + +<p>'The new Cabinet is quarrelling among themselves.'</p> + +<p>'Who are fighting?' I asked.</p> + +<p>'Chamberlain and Trevelyan,' he replied.</p> + +<p>'What about?'</p> + +<p>'Chamberlain says that he brought the party back into office, and he +wants the Colonial Office; but Gladstone insists on his being content +with the Local Government Board. Trevelyan says that, as he has for +years had experience in naval affairs, he ought to be made First Lord. +But Gladstone, though he cannot prevail on him to be Chief Secretary, +has sent him to the India Office.'</p> + +<p>'And may give him free lodgings in Kilmainham if he is refractory,' I +chimed in. 'And so these two are like pigs with their bristles hurt, +poor things. There's a pity.'</p> + +<p>Some time later, when I heard Messrs. Chamberlain and Trevelyan were so +disgusted with the Home Rule Bill that they were leaving the Government, +says I to myself, 'I wonder if Mr. Gladstone in his own heart thinks if +he had gratified their wishes about office he could have retained them.'</p> + +<p>But as a matter of fact both are patriots far above such demeaning +insinuations.</p> + +<p>Mr. John Morley was a very well-meaning Chief Secretary, but a very +misguided man.</p> + +<p>In a conversation with me, Mr. Morley observed that, owing to the +agitation, he saw no alternative but to make Parnell Chief Secretary.<a name="Page_176" id="Page_176" /></p> + +<p>I said that would be no use, for if he attempted to do his duty he would +be shot, even more readily than I should.</p> + +<p>Mr. Morley retorted:—</p> + +<p>'He is the leader of the Irish nation.'</p> + +<p>'I admit it,' I replied, 'and he is the only man you can make terms +with.'</p> + +<p>'How?' says he.</p> + +<p>'You had better ask him,' says I, 'to nominate some foreign potentate to +appoint commissioners who will say to Mr. Parnell, "Let Ireland pay her +share of the national debt and buy out every loyal person who wishes to +leave the country," and then, if Mr. Parnell says, "We are not able to +do that," let them retort, "We will then disfranchise you, for this +humbug has been going on long enough."'</p> + +<p>'That's about it, according to your lights,' replied Mr. Morley.</p> + +<p>Was I not right?</p> + +<p>It is a singular fact that Ulster and Alsace-Lorraine have about the +same acreage—5,322,334 to 3,586,560—and about the same +population—1,581,357 to 1,719,470. The French and Germans are each +willing to spend a hundred millions of money and half a million lives, +the one to recover, the other to retain, the province, and yet Mr. +Gladstone proposed, not only to abandon Ulster, but to put it under the +rule of the people the Ulsterites hate most on earth.</p> + +<p>It is also remarkable that at the time of the Union the population of +Belfast was 35,000, and Dublin 250,000. Now Belfast is 335,000, while +Dublin remains at a quarter of a million. Belfast, in point of customs, +is the third largest city in the British dominions, coming next after +London and Liverpool, whilst it is the finest shipbuilding town in the +world.<a name="Page_177" id="Page_177" /></p> + +<p>Yet its inhabitants were to be sold as though they were African slaves, +for the sole purpose of getting votes for the Liberal Government.</p> + +<p>I was one day invited by Froude to come to his home to argue out the +Irish question with Mr. Jacob Bright and Mr. John Morley.</p> + +<p>I counted on having Mr. Froude on my side, knowing his strong views, but +as host he would not interfere. However, Miss Cobbe was there, and to my +mind was equal to any of the company. With her on my side, I flatter +myself we were too many for the others; but the worst of all arguments +is that the arguing rarely serves any purpose except to make either +party more obstinate.</p> + +<p>I knew John Bright very well.</p> + +<p>He was far and away the most honest man of all the Liberal party, and he +fully realised the fact that a visible concentration of property and +universal suffrage could not exist together. He was therefore anxious to +enlarge the number of proprietors, but he did not countenance it being +done entirely at the expense of the English Government without the +tenants having to find such a sum of money out of their own pockets as +would give them an interest in paying off the Government charges.</p> + +<p>He was a very broad-minded man, with a simplicity of character which was +admirable. I liked him much, and my one complaint against him was that +he would never accept my invitations to come and pay me a visit in +Kerry.</p> + +<p>I never heard him make a speech, but with his beautiful voice it was a +great treat to hear him read Milton. On one occasion he took me to the +House specially to see Mr. Gladstone, but after nearly an hour he had +reluctantly to tell me that the Prime Minister could not find leisure +for our conversation that day owing to pressure of business, and another +opportunity never came.<a name="Page_178" id="Page_178" /></p> + +<p>Although I regret not having met Mr. Gladstone, I yet feel glad that I +never shook him by the hand. I may here mention that I never met Mr. +Parnell, though I have seen him in the House.</p> + +<p>From my point of view Mr. John Morley has a dual existence. As man and +as historian he is Jekyl, but as politician he is Hyde.</p> + +<p>There is a well-known story about him, so familiar to some of us that it +is possibly forgotten in England, wherefore I venture to relate it once +more.</p> + +<p>He was on a car, and asked the driver:—</p> + +<p>'Well, Pat, you'll be having great times when you get Home Rule?'</p> + +<p>'We will, your honour—for a week,' replied the man.</p> + +<p>'Why only a week?' inquired the politician.</p> + +<p>'Driving the quality to the steamers.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI" />CHAPTER XVI<a name="Page_179" id="Page_179" /></h2> + +<h4>GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION</h4> + + +<p>Although the exact measure of my appreciation of the Irish policy of the +most dangerous Englishman of the nineteenth century has already been +clearly indicated by casual remarks in previous chapters, that will not +absolve me from duly setting forth some sketch of the inestimable amount +of evil which resulted from the interest he unfortunately took in my +unhappy land.</p> + +<p>If Napoleon was the scourge of Europe, Mr. Gladstone was the most +malevolent imp of mischief that ever ruined any one country, and I am +heartily grieved that that country should have been mine.</p> + +<p>It is so difficult to get English people to take any interest in Irish +topics that I fully expect this chapter will be skipped by most of my +readers east of Dublin. Yet if any will read these few pages, they will +get as clear a view of the harm one man can do a whole land as by wading +through hundreds of volumes, for I am giving them the concentrated +knowledge I have accumulated by years devoted to profound study of the +subject.</p> + +<p>The course of history may be taken up almost on the morrow of the +famine, for potatoes began to be a scarce crop again in 1850, yet the +country was improving rapidly, and the relations between landlord and +tenant were as cordial as in any part of the world.</p> + +<p>So they continued in absolute amity until what is virtually universal +suffrage was introduced and the ignoramus became the tool of every +political knave.<a name="Page_180" id="Page_180" /></p> + +<p>Mr. Gladstone stated that he brought in the Irish Church Act to pacify +the country in 1868, when the land was as peaceful as English pastures +on a Sunday evening. He must really have done so to propitiate English +dissenters, for no one in Ireland appeared to want it.</p> + +<p>By this Act a resident gentleman was taken away from every parish in +Ireland, whereby the evils of absentee landlordism were gravely +enhanced.</p> + +<p>Mr. Gladstone called it an act of sublime justice from England to +Ireland. Previously, in virtue of ancient treaties commencing as far +back as the reigns of William and Mary, the English Government was +giving Presbyterians a grant—called Regium Donum—of £70,000 a year, +and by a more recent arrangement was giving Maynooth a grant of £24,000, +but that Whig Government actually paid them off out of the spoils of the +Irish Church, thereby saving the British Exchequer £94,000 a year.</p> + +<p>And if this be an act of justice, then Aristides can be classed among +hypocritical swindlers.</p> + +<p>It must be borne in mind that when William Pitt caused the Act of Union +to be passed in Parliament, the union of the Churches was a fundamental +feature, and this, indeed, was the main inducement held out to +Protestants to promote the Union.</p> + +<p>Surely it cannot be held to be a valid Union when the principal +consideration in it is set aside, to say nothing of increasing the +taxation by two million sterling a year more than was ever contemplated +by the Act. This was clearly borne out by a Royal Commission composed +mostly of Englishmen and presided over by Mr. Childers, an earnest +politician and an ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer.<a name="Page_181" id="Page_181" /></p> + +<p>The Catholic priests who expected that their Church would be established +were disappointed, while the landlords, who were generally Protestants, +had henceforth to support their clergy and at the same time to pay +tithes to the State.</p> + +<p>As Irish taxation increased 50 per cent, while that of England only +increased 18 per cent., the Irish people did not find Mr. Gladstone's +Act soothing or profitable.</p> + +<p>His next perpetration was the Land Act of 1870, whereby he provided that +no landlord could turn out his tenant without paying him for all his +improvements (even if these had been done without the knowledge or +sanction of the landlord) and giving the tenant a compensation in money +equal to about one-fourth of the fee-simple.</p> + +<p>This Act might have been all right in principle, but it was useless in +practice, and the compensation made to the County Court Judge for +adjudicature came to far more than the amount awarded.</p> + +<p>This is easily accounted for, thus:—</p> + +<p>You might as well bring in an Act of Parliament to prevent people +cutting off their own noses.</p> + +<p>No sane person does such a thing, and no landlord ever turned out an +improving tenant.</p> + +<p>But the Irish tenants, having almost the sole representation of the +country in their hands, returned a body of representatives pledged to +the confiscation of landed property; and in order to keep his party in +power by securing their votes, Mr. Gladstone brought in the Land Act of +1881.</p> + +<p>I heard him introduce the motion in the House of Commons, and his speech +was a truly marvellous feat of oratory. He was interrupted on all sides +of the House, and in a speech of nearly five hours in length never once +lost the thread of his discourse.<a name="Page_182" id="Page_182" /></p> + +<p>As far as I could judge, he never even by accident let slip one word of +truth.</p> + +<p>When the Act passed, Mr. Gladstone anticipated that eight +sub-commissioners would do the work. This number very soon ran up to one +hundred sub-commissioners and more than twenty County Court valuers.</p> + +<p>The result is that every tenant has been running down his land and +letting it go out of cultivation, for the tenants know the commissioners +value the ground as they find it, and a premium is thus, of course, put +on neglecting the soil.</p> + +<p>To show the system on which the valuation was done, many cases have been +known of the commissioners arriving to value a property after three +o'clock on a December afternoon.</p> + +<p>It is a positive fact that there are professional experts who obtain +substantial fees for showing tenants the speediest methods of damaging +their own land.</p> + +<p>All the same I cannot help thinking their services are a matter of +supererogation, for a recalcitrant Irish tenant in the South and West +needs instruction in no branch of villainy.</p> + +<p>On one of Lord Kenmare's estates, I executed drainage works costing over +£200. These were dependent upon sluices to keep out the tide at high +water. A few days before the land was to be inspected, the tenants put +bushes in the sluices, let the tide in and flooded the whole land.</p> + +<p>And then a prating, mendacious local schoolmaster began comparing these +villains to the patriotic Dutch who flooded their land rather than +permit it to be conquered by the national foe.</p> + +<p>I could give scores of such instances of wilful destruction of property +for the purpose of obtaining a reduction.<a name="Page_183" id="Page_183" /></p> + +<p>Here is one.</p> + +<p>A tenant near Blarney, in County Cork, was seen to be ploughing up a +valuable water meadow.</p> + +<p>When asked by a gentleman why he was injuring his land, he replied +without hesitation that he was going to get his rent fixed, and +immediately afterwards he should lay it down again as a water meadow.</p> + +<p>It is scarcely credible how great was the amount of perjury that this +Act brought into the country.</p> + +<p>A tenant on a property to which I was agent, whose rent was £6 a year, +swore he expended £395 on improvements and all that it was worth +afterwards was £4, 10s. He received the implicit credit of the court.</p> + +<p>According to the laws of the Roman Catholic Church perjury in a court of +justice is a reserved sin for which absolution can only be given by a +bishop or by priests specially appointed for that purpose.</p> + +<p>One priest applied to the bishop for plenary powers, and said the bishop +to him:—</p> + +<p>'Are the people so generally bad in your parish?'</p> + +<p>'It's the fault of the laws, my lord,' replied the priest.</p> + +<p>'What laws?' asked the bishop.</p> + +<p>'Firstly, under the Crimes Act, my poor people have to swear they do not +know the moonlighters that come to the house, or they would be murdered.</p> + +<p>'Secondly, under the Arrears Act, they have to swear they are worth +nothing in the world or they would not get the Government money.</p> + +<p>'Thirdly, under the Land Act, while they have to swear up their own +improvements, they must also swear down the value of the land, or they +will get no reductions.<a name="Page_184" id="Page_184" /></p> + +<p>'So you see, my lord, the sin lies at the door of those who made the +infamous laws which lead weak sinners into temptation they cannot be +expected to overcome.'</p> + +<p>The bishop said nothing, but he gave the priest all the powers he +desired.</p> + +<p>I myself heard this story from a parish priest who was present, and as I +have several times told it to different people, it may have found its +way into print, though I have no recollection of ever seeing it in black +and white.</p> + +<p>Allusion having just been made to the Arrears Act, it may be here +opportune to point out that this was the next step in Mr. Gladstone's +long sequence of Irish mismanagement. This iniquitous measure provided +that no matter how great the arrears owed by the tenant, by lodging one +year's rent another could be obtained from the Government, and the +landlord was compelled to wipe out the balance. So that if Jack, Tom, +and James were all tenants on town land, should Jack be an honest man he +obtained no redress, whereas if Tom and James were hardened defaulters +they obtained the complete settlement of all their arrears.</p> + +<p>To obtain the grant of a year's rent from Government, the tenant had to +swear as to his assets and also as to the selling value of his farm.</p> + +<p>Here is an illustration which came under my own observation.</p> + +<p>A tenant named Richard Sweeney, whose rent was £48 a year, owed three +years' rent. He paid one year, the Government provided another, and the +landlord had to forgive the third.</p> + +<p>To obtain this result, Sweeney swore that the selling value of his farm +was <i>nil</i>, and he received a receipt in full.<a name="Page_185" id="Page_185" /></p> + +<p>A few weeks later he served me—as agent for the landlord—with notice +that he had sold his interest in the property for £630.</p> + +<p>That is not the end of my story.</p> + +<p>The purchaser was a man named Murphy, and a very few years afterwards, +upon the ground that the rent was too dear, he took the farm for which +he had paid £630 to Sweeney into the Land Courts and got the rent +reduced to £36.</p> + +<p>The absurdity of this system was well brought out before the Fry +Commission, when one high-commissioner and a sub-commissioner both said +that in valuing the land they took into consideration the tenant's +occupation interest.</p> + +<p>The reader will see the way this works out, if he will accept the very +simple hypothetical case of two tenants holding land to the worth of £40 +each, and one of them only paying £20 a year rent. When they both took +their cases into the Land Court, the man paying the lower rent of £20 +would obtain the larger reduction, because he had the greater +occupation.</p> + +<p>These facts will show that a Purchase Bill was an absolute necessity. +Lord Dufferin truly remarked that landlord and tenant were both in the +same bed, and Mr. Gladstone thought to settle their disputes by giving +the tenant a larger share than he had ever had before. But the tenant +considered that as he had obtained that concession by fraud and +violence, if he could only give one effective kick more, he would put +the landlord on the floor for the rest of the term of their national +life.</p> + +<p>When introducing the Land Act of 1870, Mr. Gladstone proved himself if +not an Irish statesman, an admirable prophet, for he denounced in +anticipation exactly what the effect of the Land Act of 1881 would be.<a name="Page_186" id="Page_186" /></p> + +<p>In 1870, he prospectively criticised such an institution as the Land +Court, which in 1881 he proposed, with its power to give a 'judicial +rent.'</p> + +<p>'But it is suggested we should establish, permanently and positively, a +power in the hands of the State to reduce excessive rents. Now I should +like to hear a careful argument in support of that plan. I wish at all +events to retain at all times a judicial habit of not condemning a thing +utterly until I have heard what is to be said for it; but I own I have +not heard, I do not know, and I cannot conceive, what is to be said for +the prospective power to reduce excessive rents. If I could conceive a +plan more calculated than everything else, first of all, for throwing +into confusion the whole economical arrangements of the country; +secondly, for driving out of the field all solvent and honest men who +might be bidders for farms; thirdly, for carrying widespread +demoralisation throughout the whole mass of the Irish people, I must say +it is this plan.'</p> + +<p>And again:—</p> + +<p>'We are not ready to accede to a principle of legislation by which the +State shall take into its own hands the valuation of rent throughout +Ireland. I say, "take into its own hands" because it is perfectly +immaterial whether the thing shall be done by a State officer forming +part of the Civil Service, or by an arbitration acting under State +authority, or by any other person invested by the law with power to +determine on what terms as to rent every holding in Ireland shall be +held.'</p> + +<p>This categorical denunciation of the principle which he was then asked, +and which he peremptorily refused to sanction, was not enough for Mr. +Gladstone, for the records of debate show he went farther, but enough +has been cited to show that never was prophecy more fully fulfilled. +Outrage followed outrage with a rapidity unequalled in Europe, and that +in a country which previous to his remedial measures had practically +been unstained by an agrarian outrage for fifty years.<a name="Page_187" id="Page_187" /></p> + +<p>It would certainly be both remiss of me, and altogether below the +character which I trust I have acquired for honest plain speaking, if I +omitted to give my views upon Mr. Wyndham's Act, for those readers who +regard my book as something more than a storehouse of anecdotes—and +since it is written at all, I maintain it claims to be more than +that—having noticed the freedom with which I have spoken of previous +English legislation for Ireland, may very naturally think I should be +begging the question of the hour, if I did not offer a few observations +on the latest development of the Irish question.</p> + +<p>I must emphatically repeat what I have already asserted:—that the Acts +of Mr. Gladstone rendered a Purchase Bill inevitable, and it fell to Mr. +Wyndham's lot to formulate the scheme which has now become law.</p> + +<p>Mr. Wyndham's Act is a great one for Ireland, because where a tenant +previously paid £100 a year rent, all he will have to pay—even at +twenty-four years' purchase—is £80 a year, and at that rate with the +bonus the landlord obtains twenty-seven years' purchase. But this scale +is a little halcyon in most instances.</p> + +<p>It should prove a boon to the country, and it is the necessary outcome +of the Land Act of 1881, by which rents were cut down by commissioners, +whose means of living depended on the reductions they made.</p> + +<p>And to make this state of things yet more remarkable, there were two +courts established for fixing rates. The one consisted of +sub-commissioners, who were paid by the year, and the other was that of +the County Court judge, who was wholly dependent on a valuer paid by the +day.<a name="Page_188" id="Page_188" /></p> + +<p>So, whoever cut down the most earned the most.</p> + +<p>A valuer in Limerick was remonstrated with for cutting down local rents +so low, and he replied:—</p> + +<p>'It is all for the good of trade, for it will bring every tenant into +the Court.'</p> + +<p>And so it actually did, for that Court very shortly afterwards was chock +full of cases.</p> + +<p>My own opinion is that the Wyndham Act would have been far more +beneficial, if the Government had given the tenant a free grant of some +of the purchase money, and insisted on his finding some more of it +himself, whereby would have been created a deeper interest in his land +than is now inspired in his breast by the mere transference of his lease +from his old landlord to the Government.</p> + +<p>I made this remark to an Englishman at the Carlton Club, and he said to +me that, according to his view, England should lend whatever money was +wanted but give no free grant.</p> + +<p>I replied:—</p> + +<p>'A poor man from Kerry came to my house in London, and asked for the +loan of a pound. I declined to lend him the sovereign, but I did lend +him half a crown, and as he bolted to America the very next day, I think +I had the best of the bargain.'</p> + +<p>My friend accepted the analogy and dropped the subject.</p> + +<p>That was far more tactful on his part than the conduct of the English +Government, for the different Acts of Parliament relating to Ireland +have had the effect of rendering the feelings between landlord and +tenant much worse than they were before.<a name="Page_189" id="Page_189" /></p> + +<p>And the Act of 1881, which provided that landlord and tenant should have +a lawsuit every fifteen years, brought the feeling up to boiling pitch.</p> + +<p>Now the Government inherits all this hatred by proposing to be the sole +landlord in Ireland. Therefore, England is reaping the whirlwind where +Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind.</p> + +<p>This does not appear to me to be sound statesmanship. An open hatred of +the Government has been instilled into the brain of thousands of Irish +children side by side with a more hypocritical hatred of the landlord. +Now that these two are to be combined in one passion, and that directed +against the receiver of rent, matters do not present a promising +outlook.</p> + +<p>If the Government sell up those tenants who do not pay rent in years to +come, no Irish occupiers of the property will be obtainable.</p> + +<p>If English tenants be imported, the latter had better insist on coats of +mail for themselves, and on life insurance policies in favour of the +nearest relatives they leave behind in England.</p> + +<p>That reminds me of a story.</p> + +<p>Sir Denis Fitzpatrick and his daughter were making a tour of the Kerry +fjords some years ago, and the lady asked a boatman on Caragh Lake, what +would happen to a tenant who took an evicted farm.</p> + +<p>The reply was:—</p> + +<p>'I don't think he'd do it again, Miss, leastways it's in the next world +alone he'd have the chance of making such a fool of himself.'</p> + +<p>This may be commended to any unsophisticated English who contemplate +Hibernian immigration as a prospective way of cheaply obtaining that +once popular bait of Mr. Jesse Collins, three acres and a cow.<a name="Page_190" id="Page_190" /></p> + +<p>Here is another aspect of not paying rent to Government, which would +occur to no one unacquainted with Ireland, but is quite +characteristic:—</p> + +<p>Suppose twenty men were tenants on a townland; one would pay, and the +other nineteen after being evicted would also squat down on his patch. +Unless caretakers at a cost of about three times the rent were put in +under excessive police protection, all the nineteen farms would promptly +become derelict.</p> + +<p>It would have been far better if the Government had given a free grant +of one quarter of the purchase money, had compelled the tenant to +himself find another quarter, and had lent the remaining half for a +comparatively short term, say twenty-five years.</p> + +<p>Then the tenant would have had genuine interest in the redemption of his +own property.</p> + +<p>But, asks the English tourist impressed by the apparent beggarliness of +all he sees, how could the tenant procure a quarter of the money?</p> + +<p>Naturally it would be alleged by the agitators that he could not. All +the same you may confidently contradict any such denial as that.</p> + +<p>It is clear that almost any tenant could get the money, if you bear in +mind that though rents are so reduced, the most unimproving tenant can +get from ten to twenty years' purchase for the good-will of his farm.</p> + +<p>Of course, just now the old order is changing considerably in Ireland, +but the loss of their old landlords is not appreciated by the better +class of tenants, though the good have of course to suffer for the +bad—a thing even better known in my country than elsewhere. I heard an +interesting confirmation of this from a lady of my acquaintance, who +having asked a respectable woman what had become of her son, received +the reply:—<a name="Page_191" id="Page_191" /></p> + +<p>'Ah, for sure, he has got a situation with a farmer.'</p> + +<p>'Well, that's a good start in life, is it not?' asked my friend, to +which the woman retorted in melancholy accents:—</p> + +<p>'That may be, but my family have always been rared (<i>i.e.</i> reared) on +the gentry until now,' thereby expressing a feeling very prevalent in +Ireland to-day.</p> + +<p>The Home Rulers allege that these high prices which are paid for the +good-will of land are attributable to two causes:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>(a)</i> Excess of competition for land.<br /></span> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>(b)</i> Irish returning from America.</span> +</p> + +<p>Both these reasons are absurd.</p> + +<p>When the population of Ireland was nearly eight millions, these prices +could not be obtainable, nor anything like them, while to-day the +population is only four millions. Unless the returning emigrants thought +they were obtaining good value for their money, they would hardly +abandon a country—the United States—where they can get land for +nothing.</p> + +<p>The enormous increase in the Irish Savings Banks, as well as the +deposits in other Irish Banks, must be almost entirely derived from the +savings of the farmers. The landlords have been ruined by the Land Act; +labourers have no money to spare; and traders will not leave their money +idle at the small rate of interest credited.</p> + +<p>If the farmers thought they had better means of using the money, they +would withdraw it, and they are without doubt as well aware as I am how +they can do the English Government in the future, for if there is any +roguery unknown to them, it is infinitesimal.</p> + +<p>I cannot say that I think many landlords will leave Ireland in +consequence of the Wyndham Act. The few who will go are those who are +glad to be quit at any price, and to be free to pack out of the country. +But many a landlord will be far more comfortable on his own estate, when +he has rid himself of all his tenants.<a name="Page_192" id="Page_192" /></p> + +<p>One feature of this curious Act is that the Geraldines have got rid of +the last of their property, and escaped all the forfeitures.</p> + +<p>As for the sporting rights, far too much fuss has been made over them. +Except where there are plantations or good fishing, they are of very +little value one way or the other. The Act will not affect the hunting. +Small Irish farmers like to see the hunt almost as much as the hunting +set themselves like to participate in it.</p> + +<p>Of course, too, the Act ought to be popular in Ireland, because it is +taking so much money out of England.</p> + +<p>A point I wish to emphasise is one about which there has been a great +deal of misconception.</p> + +<p>A considerable amount of capital has been made out of the depreciation +of agricultural produce in Ireland as compared with England. But Ireland +is a stock-producing country and not an agricultural country in the +strict sense, for the cultivation of wheat in Ireland has long since +ceased to exist. The true relation may be seen in the fact that in +England the difficulty of getting store-cattle was a loss to farmers, +whereas it has been a decided gain to farmers in Ireland—though they +are not best pleased when you impress the fact on them.</p> + +<p>Mr. Finlay Dun in <i>Landlords and Tenants in Ireland in 1881</i> cites some +examples which may be apt to-day when we are considering Mr. Wyndham's +Act.</p> + +<p>He writes on page 64:—</p> + +<p>'Kilcockan parish between Lismore and Youghal was in great part disposed +of in the Landed Estates Court thirty years ago. It was bought, some of +it by occupiers, some of it by shopkeepers and attorneys. Rents have +been raised, and there is not much appearance of prosperity. Newtown, +for several generations the fee-simple property of a family of the name +of Nason, after the famine of 1846, was cut up and sold; the family +residence is in ruin. At Lower Curryglass, a few miles east of Lismore, +a good farm of five hundred acres, belonging to a family who have been +obliged to leave it, bears sad evidence of neglect; the good old +deserted manor-house, the farm buildings, and a dozen cottages in the +village are falling to pieces. Contrary to what might be anticipated, +some of the smaller proprietors in this district have been strenuous +supporters of the Land League, although it is to be hoped that they +repudiate the destruction of the cattle on the land of Mr. Grant, which +were stabbed, and some of them drowned in the river. Mr. Grant had come +under the ban of the League for evicting a dissipated bankrupt tenant, +whose debts to the extent of two hundred pounds he had paid, and who +would have been reinstated, if there had been the remotest prospect of +reformed habits or of getting clear of his difficulties. Such acts +appear to justify the statement, "that Irishmen don't know what they +want, and won't be satisfied until they get it."'<a name="Page_193" id="Page_193" /></p> + +<p>God knows we have waded knee deep in blood of men, and domestic animals +since that was written, yet to-day are we any nearer the final solution +of the Irish difficulties? In my opinion, certainly not.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII" />CHAPTER XVII<a name="Page_194" id="Page_194" /></h2> + +<h4>THE STATE OF KERRY</h4> + + +<p>It has been stated that it is only within the last forty years that the +bulk of the people of Ireland, long outside the pale of the ballot-box, +have actively entered political life. This is quite true.</p> + +<p>The whole of the Home Rule troubles followed the presentation of +practically universal suffrage to the half-educated and +over-enthusiastic Irish, who are easily led away, apt to believe +mob-orators, and, by inherited instinct, to go against the Government.</p> + +<p>What the effect of universal suffrage in India would be it is not my +business to estimate. Still, the analogy of what the ballot-paper +provided in Ireland, if applied to the teeming population of our +Oriental Empire, suggests a pandemonium to which the horrors of the +Mutiny are but a mere scream of agony.</p> + +<p>The ballot transformed Ireland; or rather, it permitted the worst +passions of the most ignorant to be played upon by interested +adventurers, when the political power of Ireland had passed for ever out +of the hands of the restraining classes. Democracy spelt anarchy, and +the word patriotism was degraded in a way that had no parallel since the +French Revolution.</p> + +<p>The first outward and visible sign was the creation of the Irish Home +Rule party, which constituted itself separate and distinct from the rest +of the House of Commons, the standard of which the new gang was to +debase. Nor did they rest content until it became the scene of faction +fights and organised obstruction in combination with the flagrant +violation of all decencies of language and behaviour.<a name="Page_195" id="Page_195" /></p> + +<p>Members were returned for Irish constituencies who had been convicts; +others came who richly deserved imprisonment for life. They instigated +murders, and clamoured because the murderers were not regarded as +heroes; or if they were hung, canonised them as martyrs. They attempted +to prostitute the law to their own base standard of political morality. +They assiduously laboured to render life valueless in Ireland and +property worthless, whilst no deed was too cowardly, no atrocity too +barbarous, for them to praise. They alone in modern times warred against +women and children. Animals were the dumb victims of the inhuman +ferocity they in no way tried to check, and they effectively taught the +receptive Irish millions that a British Government could be coerced into +giving what was demanded provided a sufficient number of crimes created +a holocaust large enough to intimidate the weak-kneed at St. Stephen's.</p> + +<p>But Mr. Parnell and the Land League would all have been promptly reduced +to the pitiful unimportance from which they had so noisily emerged if it +had not been for Mr. Gladstone.</p> + +<p>The root of English politics has been party government—'where all are +for a party, and none are for the State,' to reverse Macaulay's famous +line. Now the Irish vote of sixty was a solid asset, capable in many +cases of weighing down one side of the political scale. It was obvious +that the votes would be unscrupulously given, and Mr. Gladstone bid +higher than the Tories. Literally the necessary parliamentary machinery +for the government of the United Kingdom was clogged by the +Nationalists, who brought obstruction to a fine art, and it was Mr. +Gladstone who always gave in when the Irish outcry would have stimulated +an honest man to avail himself of all loyal forces which law and the +common weal provided.<a name="Page_196" id="Page_196" /></p> + +<p>Long before this the Irish political agitator had set himself to +embitter the relations existing between landlord and tenant. An +Englishman goes into Parliament for various motives; an Irishman for his +living. If he did not outshout his neighbour, if he were not implicitly +obedient to Mr. Parnell, if he did not arouse the worst passions of the +worst people in his constituency, he was promptly dismissed.</p> + +<p>To do them justice, the Irish members gave such an exhibition of +blackguardism as has no parallel on earth, though it earned but the +mildest rebuke from their obsequious ally, Mr. Gladstone.</p> + +<p>In 1869, for example, before this balloting away of all that was +creditable to Ireland, the relations between landlord and tenant were of +the most kindly nature. The leading landlords of Kerry generally +represented the county in Parliament with uniform decency and occasional +brilliance, while larger sums were borrowed and expended by the +landlords under the Land Improvement Act than were spent in the same way +in any other county. I can prove that the principal landowner in +Kerry—Lord Kenmare—expended a greater sum in ten years on his estates +than he received out of them, though I cannot say he ever found out for +himself that it was better to give than to receive.</p> + +<p>For fifty years prior to what Mr. Gladstone was pleased to call his +'remedial legislation,' Kerry was unstained by agrarian crime; all +things went on smoothly, and a number of railways were constructed with +guaranteed capital, half of which was contributed by the landlords, +although they received no benefit from the increased prices of farm +produce caused by railway communication. The Board of Works returns show +that the money borrowed by Kerry landlords under the different Land +Improvement Acts amounted to almost half a million, and yet the +deductions made under the Land Act were greater in Kerry than in other +counties.<a name="Page_197" id="Page_197" /></p> + +<p>Here is an instance from my own experience.</p> + +<p>I purchased from the Government in 1879 an estate, the rental of which +was £517, 2s. 4d.; it was considered so cheaply let that the majority of +the tenants offered twenty-seven years' purchase for their farms. I +borrowed from the Government and expended on drainage £1120, 14s. 11d. +Then the Commissioners under the Land Act reduced the rental to £495, +10s. 6d., and the Government which sold me the estate continued to +compel me to pay interest on the amount borrowed, although by its own +legislation I was deprived of any advantage resulting from the outlay.</p> + +<p>The rental of Kerry in 1870 was considerably less than it had been forty +years previously, and higher prices were paid for the fee-simple of land +than were offered in any other part of Ireland. But Mr. Gladstone's +'remedial manoeuvres' changed the country and the people.</p> + +<p>Demoralising bribes to the Irish nation frittered away the proceeds of +the plunder of the Irish Church. A notable instance was a million under +the Arrears Act, the principle of which was that no honest tenant who +had paid his rent could derive any benefit from it, but that any +drunkard or squanderer who had not paid his rent might have it paid for +him by the Government on swearing that he was unable to pay.</p> + +<p>Here is an instance that occurred on an estate under my management.<a name="Page_198" id="Page_198" /></p> + +<p>A tenant, whose yearly rent was £48, had one year's rent paid by +Government and another year's rent given up by his landlord, on his +swearing that the selling value of his farm was <i>nil</i>; ten weeks +afterwards he served me with a notice, as required by the statute, that +he had sold the interest of the farm for £670.</p> + +<p>Again, there was a tenant who swore that he had expended £513, 14s. 6d. +in permanent improvements, and that after this expenditure the fair +letting value of the farm was only £17, though the original rent was +£26, 4s.</p> + +<p>How could I blame an ignorant peasantry for making false statements, +when laws were framed by the leaders of public opinion in England which +released the Irish tenants from every moral obligation, and made their +assumed responsibilities and agreements a dead letter; while orators, +living on the wages of patriotism, were allowed to preach sedition and +plunder to an excitable people? The result was that the work of +demoralisation made rapid progress, perjury became a joke, assassination +was merely 'removal,' and men who had been brutally murdered were said +to have met with an accident.</p> + +<p>I have already shown how apt a prophet Mr. Gladstone was in his forecast +in the House of Commons in 1870, and one more quotation adds testimony +to his inspiration—though from what direction it came I will not linger +to inquire:—</p> + +<p>'Compulsory valuation and fixity of tenure would bring about total +demoralisation and a Saturnalia of crime.'</p> + +<p>Exactly.</p> + +<p>Mr. Laing, formerly M.P. for Orkney, in a magazine article defended the +'Plan of Campaign' as an innocent attempt to defend the weak against the +strong, and as having been adopted only on estates where rents were too +high, in fact, as the result of high rents. As a matter of fact, in +Orkney the rents advanced 194 per cent., and during the same period in +Kerry they dwindled. He also asserted that the Irish tenants' +improvements had been confiscated by the landlords as the tenant +improved.<a name="Page_199" id="Page_199" /></p> + +<p>Certainly the law did not prevent them increasing the rent; but, +unfortunately for the reasoning of Mr. Laing, and his taking for granted +imaginary 'confiscations,' figures most decidedly prove that the +landlords did not use any such power. The rentals have steadily +decreased while the landlords were borrowing and expending nearly half a +million in my own county.</p> + +<p>This fact is conclusively demonstrated by the Government returns.</p> + +<p>As to the National League—with all its paraphernalia of boycotting, +shooting from behind a hedge, merciless beating, shooting in the legs, +and other similar variations of Irish Home Rule, on which I shall dwell +in a later chapter—being only a protector of the weak tenant against +the hard landlord, I think one fact will prove more forcibly than any +argument the fallacy of such an assertion.</p> + +<p>There were two estates in Kerry let at a much lower rate than any others +in the county—those of Lord Cork and Colonel Oliver.</p> + +<p>Colonel Oliver's agent was the only one fired at in Kerry in 1886, and +Lord Cork's agent was the only one obliged to employ over two hundred +police to protect him in endeavouring to recover in 1887 rent which was +due in 1884. This rent was due on land let at considerably under the +Poor Law valuation, and the rents were only half what was paid in 1860.</p> + +<p>These cases afford a decided proof that the Land or National League +carries on its government irrespective of high or low rents, and the +'Plan of Campaign' is worked according as the local branches of the +League have disciplined or terrorised the inhabitants of a district, the +orders from 'headquarters' depending on the probability of success.<a name="Page_200" id="Page_200" /></p> + +<p>I should like to retort on Mr. Laing that, while the evidence before the +Land Commissioner proved the rental of Ireland was diminishing, that of +the country where his own property lay increased to an unusual degree. I +do not say the landlords confiscated the tenants' improvements, possibly +they made none. But figures are hard facts, and they prove three +things:—</p> + +<p>First, that Kerry landlords spent £453,539 on improvements. Secondly, +that the rental of Kerry was lower in 1880 than in 1840. Thirdly, that +the rental of Orkney increased 194 per cent. during that time.</p> + +<p>On the south-west coast of Kerry lie the Blasquets, a group of islands +the property of Lord Cork, one of them inhabited by some twenty-five +families. The old rental was £80, which was regularly paid. This was +reduced by Lord Cork to £40, the Government valuation being £60. Now +this island reared about forty milch cows, besides young cattle and +sheep, and at the period when might meant right in Ireland the +inhabitants, having some surplus stock, took possession of another +island to feed them on.</p> + +<p>This island was let to another man, but he was not able to resist the +tenants any more than the mouse nibbling a piece of cheese is able to +fight a cat.</p> + +<p>For ten years up to 1887 those tenants paid no poor rate. They +successfully resisted the payment of county cess, to the detriment of +their fellow taxpayers, and they only paid one half year's rent out of +six, and that not until they had been served with writs. And these +people, in the year 1886, sent a memorial to the Government to save them +from starvation.<a name="Page_201" id="Page_201" /></p> + +<p>This is a remarkable case, and proves that poverty and the cry of +starvation are not always the result of rents and taxes, as the Irish +patriots and their English separatist allies so frequently assert.</p> + +<p>I am going to quote a colloquy overheard at a Kerry fair to show how +deeply the teaching of Messrs. Parnell, Gladstone, Dillon, Morley, +Davitt, Biggar, and Company has taken root in the Irish mind.</p> + +<p>Jim from Castleisland meeting Mick from Glenbeigh, asks:—</p> + +<p>'Well, Mick, an' how are ye getting on?'</p> + +<p>'Illigant, glory be to the Saints.'</p> + +<p>'How's that, Mick? Sure, prices is low.'</p> + +<p>'True for you, Jim, prices is low; but what we <i>has</i> we <i>has</i>, for we +pays nobody.'</p> + +<p>And to that I will add another observation.</p> + +<p>Somebody asked me:—</p> + +<p>'If Ireland were to get Home Rule, what would become of the agitator?'</p> + +<p>I replied:—</p> + +<p>'He would be called a reformer, unless it paid him better to clamour for +a fresh Union. He'd sell all his patriotism for five shillings, and his +loyalty could be bought by a few glasses of whisky.'</p> + +<p>And that's the whole truth of the matter.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII" />CHAPTER XVIII<a name="Page_202" id="Page_202" /></h2> + +<h4>A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP</h4> + + +<p>Davitt called the generation after O'Connell's 'a soulless age of +pitiable cowardice.'</p> + +<p>I should call the generation that was active in the early eighties 'a +cowardly age of pitiless brutality.'</p> + +<p>Times had begun to mend in Ireland from 1850, and had continued to do so +until the ballot made the country a prey to self-seeking political +agitators.</p> + +<p>Mr. Gladstone considered that if you gave a scoundrel a vote it made him +into a philanthropist, whereas events proved it made him an eager +accessory of murder, outrage, and every other crime.</p> + +<p>Yet this happened after Fenianism had practically died out in the early +seventies.</p> + +<p>I myself heard Mr. Gladstone say that landlords had been weighed in the +balance and had not been found wanting, for the bad ones were +exceptional.</p> + +<p>None the less were they and their representatives delivered over to +their natural opponents, who were egged on by the Land League and by its +tacit or active supporters in the House of Commons.</p> + +<p>Emphatically I repeat the assertion that neither Mr. Parnell nor the +Land League would have been formidable without the active help of Mr. +Gladstone.</p> + +<p>Before 1870 Kerry used to be represented by gentlemen of the county. The +present members in 1904 are an attorney's clerk, an assistant +schoolmaster, a Dublin baker, and a fourth of about the same class.<a name="Page_203" id="Page_203" /></p> + +<p>This was no more foreseen by the landlords when the ballot was +introduced any more than we anticipated the way in which we were to be +plundered. Many considered that the confiscation of the Irish Church, +which had been established since the reign of Elizabeth, was an inroad +into the rights of property very likely to be followed up by further +aggressions, but we never looked for such a wholesale violation as +ensued.</p> + +<p>By the Act of 1870 no tenant could be turned out without being paid a +sum averaging a fourth of the fee-simple in addition to being paid for +his improvements, and there the most observant of us thought the worst +had been reached.</p> + +<p>When the Act of 1881 was passed, I met Lord Spencer, one of the authors +of it, and said to him:—</p> + +<p>'This Act will have as much effect in settling Ireland as throwing a cup +of dirty water into the Thames would have in creating a flood.'</p> + +<p>My words were soon proved right, for the tenants, having obtained half +the landlord's property by it, thought that by well working their voting +and shooting powers they would get the remainder.</p> + +<p>I have been getting away from my own experiences to give my own +convictions. When you have meditated for twenty years amid the ruins of +what you had been building up all your life long and know that it is due +to Irish outrage and English misrule, there is a temptation to speak +plainly on breaking silence.</p> + +<p>The year 1878 was a wet year and yielded a bad harvest; 1879 was worse. +The prosperity of Ireland depends on its harvest, and starvation is the +opportunity of the lying agitator.<a name="Page_204" id="Page_204" /></p> + +<p>On July 8, 1880, I gave evidence before the Royal Commission on +Agriculture, being mainly examined by the president, the Duke of +Richmond and Gordon, others on the board being Lord Carlingford, Mr. +Stansfeld, afterwards Lord, Mr. Joseph Cowen, and Mr. Mitchell Henry.</p> + +<p>Here are some of my statements on a then experience of thirty-one +years:—</p> + +<p>'The expenditure by landlords on farm buildings is as great in Ireland +as in Scotland.'</p> + +<p>'In the exceptional state of things I strongly disapprove of +tenant-right in Ireland, which, as Lord Palmerston said, is landlord +wrong.'</p> + +<p>'Small holdings are a very bad thing in Ireland where they are not mixed +with large holdings.'</p> + +<p>'The distress in Kerry is considerable, but has been considerably +exaggerated.'</p> + +<p>'Every tenant in Ireland has six months to redeem after he is evicted.'</p> + +<p>'I have never known a man leave a farm unless compelled.'</p> + +<p>'I contradict the statement that tenants make improvements which tend to +increase the letting value of the land.'</p> + +<p>'You pay four times as much for spade tillage as for ploughing by +horse.'</p> + +<p>'Bad farming in Ireland is due to want of education and to the enhanced +subdivision of the land. When the farmer gets higher up the social scale +he will have more sense than to make beggars of his children by +subdivision.'</p> + +<p>'Distress has not produced the discontent.'<a name="Page_205" id="Page_205" /></p> + +<p>'Almost more land has been sold in Kerry than in any county in Ireland.'</p> + +<p>Three months later, in my evidence before the Irish Land Act Commission, +in answer to the Chairman, I stated that in my opinion it was simply +impossible to arbitrate on rent. I had two tenants of my own whose +yearly rent was £20 and whose valuation was £20. One of them in 1880 +sold £135 worth of pigs and butter, and the other man's children were +assisted in charity from my house, though both had equal means of +success.</p> + +<p>I also pointed out that there were then 300,000 occupiers of land in +Ireland, whose holdings were under £8 Poor Law valuation, and these +occupiers when their potatoes failed had nothing but relief works, +starvation, or emigration. To give them their whole rent would not meet +the difficulty.</p> + +<p>I submitted a scheme of purchase, in which Baron Dowse was greatly +interested, and I suggested that all holdings under £4 a year should be +ejected at Petty Sessions, because it was a great hardship for the +tenant of such a holding to have £2, 10s. costs put upon him.</p> + +<p>I ended with:—</p> + +<p>'There is a case in this county in connection with which there is likely +to be very considerable disturbance. A man had a farm put up for sale +and a Nationalist bought it at a very low figure, on the understanding +that he was to keep it for the man's family; but as soon as he got it he +turned Conservative and kept it.'</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">BARON DOWSE—'Turned what?'</span><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">MYSELF—'Conservative.'</span><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">BARON DOWSE—'Rogue, I would say. You would not say that Conservatives are rogues?'</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Since that was a debatable point on which the Commission had no +jurisdiction to inquire, I returned no answer.<a name="Page_206" id="Page_206" /></p> + +<p>As the distress was alluded to above, I may lighten the recent +seriousness of my observations by an anecdote on the topic.</p> + +<p>In 1880 the Duchess of Marlborough organised a fund for supplying the +people with meal. The Dublin Mansion House did the same, but their meal +was of a coarser description.</p> + +<p>A Blasquet Islander was asked how he was getting on, and made answer:—</p> + +<p>'Illigant, glory be to the Saints. We're eating the Duchess, and feeding +two pigs on the Mansion House.'</p> + +<p>This recalls the story of the Englishman who inquired of a Kerry man +which measure of English legislation had proved most beneficial for +Ireland.</p> + +<p>'The Famine (of 1879) was the best, beyond a shadow of doubt,' was the +reply, 'for I fattened and sold ninety fine turkeys on the strength of +it.'</p> + +<p>In 1880 some Kerry men did a very good stroke of business. They sent a +cargo of potatoes from Killorglin to Scotland and brought them back as +imported Champion seed, selling them for six times the original price.</p> + +<p>About this period Mr. Leeson-Marshall, who had been away from Kerry and +coming back found some cottages near Milltown still only half built, +observed:—</p> + +<p>'Good God, aren't those houses finished yet?'</p> + +<p>'Well, sor,' was the reply, 'the contract's finished but the houses +aren't.'</p> + +<p>And it has been my life-long experience that ninety-five per cent, of +all the penalties in contracts are worthless, as the contractors +themselves are only too well aware.</p> + +<p>Being a land agent, I wish to provide some account from another pen of +my stewardship, for which said stewardship I was falsely called 'the +most rack-renting agent in Ireland.'<a name="Page_207" id="Page_207" /></p> + +<p>Out of Mr. Finlay Dun's book, from which I have previously quoted, I +condense the following from the chapter he devoted to the estates for +which I was agent.</p> + +<p>He observes that in 1881 my firm had the supervision of eighty-eight +estates, upwards of three thousand farming tenants, and annually +collected rents to the value of a quarter of a million sterling. From +the particulars I furnished him he deduces:—</p> + +<p>'So recently as the end of November the Lady Day rents had been well +paid up; old arrears had been reduced; on two estates in the Court of +Chancery £6000 had been collected with only a few shillings in default. +Dairy farmers prospering had been particularly well able to pay rents +and other claims. More recent rent collections, unfortunately, were not +so satisfactory. Tenants generally had earned the money, but had not +been allowed to pay it over.</p> + +<p>'Many of the low-rented estates were badly farmed and the tenantry in +low water. On the higher rented, the struggle for existence had brought +out extra industry and energy and led to fair success.'</p> + +<p>The following provided an apt illustration:—</p> + +<p>'Mr. Gould Adams of Kilmachill had a small estate on the north side of a +hill rented at 20s. an acre; the rents were paid up, the tenants doing +well. On the southern aspect of the same hill, with better land, at the +devoutly desiderated Griffith's valuation, which was 16s. 4d., the +tenants were invariably hard up, some of them two years in arrears. All +tenants had free sale, averaging five years' rent.<a name="Page_208" id="Page_208" /></p> + +<p>'The larger proprietors, as a rule, were most helpful and liberal to +their tenants. Where improvements were not effected or initiated by the +landlords, they were seldom done at all. There had often been +considerable difficulty in overcoming the prejudice and "the +rest-and-be-thankful" spirit both of landlords and tenants.</p> + +<p>'On Sir George Colthurst's Ballyvourney estate, twenty miles east of +Killarney, under Mr. Hussey's auspices about £30,000 had been expended +in draining, building, and roadmaking. The economic value of many +holdings had been doubled, although the rents had only been increased +five per cent., and subsequently the Commissioners fixed the rents at 25 +per cent. less than they had been fifty years earlier.</p> + +<p>'The extending village of Mill Street had been in great measure +reconstructed by his exertions.</p> + +<p>'The Land League having enforced non-payment of rent, the obligation to +meet other debts was weakened. Although there was more money than usual +in the hands of the farming community, shopkeepers were not so willingly +and promptly paid as formerly. Want of security checked the improved +business which should have set in after a good harvest. The Land League +agitation generally originated with the publicans, small shopkeepers, +and bankrupt farmers, rather than with the actual land occupiers. For +peace and protection, many pay their subscription to the League and +allow their names to be enrolled. The intimidation and 'boycotting,' +which was so widely had recourse to, rendered it dangerous for either +farmers or tradesmen to make a stand against the mob. With Sam Weller it +was regarded expedient to shout with the biggest crowd.'</p> + +<p>Thus wrote a critical visitor keenly surveying the situation in no +prejudiced spirit, having gone on a visit to Ireland to inquire into the +subjects of land tenure and estate management.<a name="Page_209" id="Page_209" /></p> + +<p>In his next chapter is a tribute to Lord Kenmare, 'a kind and +considerate landlord, united to his people by strong ties of race and +creed, residing for a great part of the year on his estates, ready with +purse and influence to advance the interests of his neighbourhood. On +his mansion and on the town of Killarney, since his accession to the +property in 1871, he has spent £100,000. At his own expense he has +erected a town hall, and improved and beautified Killarney. Within the +last twenty years £10,000 of arrears have been written off. From last +year's rents ten to twenty per cent, was deducted. During the last few +years of distress, £15,000 has been borrowed for draining and other +improvements; regular work has thus been found for the labourer; on such +outlay in many instances no percentage has been charged. Since 1870, +three hundred labourers have been comfortably housed and provided with +gardens or allotments varying from one to three pounds annually.'</p> + +<p>I could not myself so tersely put the situation to-day as by quoting +this contemporary narrative, the facts for which I supplied.</p> + +<p>Once more let me draw upon Mr. Finlay Dun. 'Unmindful of all this +consistent liberality, ungrateful for the great efforts to improve his +poorer neighbours, popular prejudice has been roused against Lord +Kenmare; it has been impossible to collect rents; threatening letters +have been sent to him. Mortified with the apparent fruitlessness of his +humane endeavours he has been compelled to leave Killarney House.</p> + +<p>'His agent, Mr. Hussey, who for twenty years has been earnestly and +intelligently labouring to improve Irish agriculture, to bring more +capital to bear on it, to render it more profitable, and has, besides, +most energetically striven to elevate and house more decently the +labouring population, has also brought down on himself the odium of the +powers that be. For months he has had to travel armed and guarded by a +couple of constables; now he has thought it discreet to leave the +country.'<a name="Page_210" id="Page_210" /></p> + +<p>This, however, is erroneous. I only took a house for my family in London +for the winter, and was backwards and forwards between Kerry and the +metropolis.</p> + +<p>Against all this let me set another quotation. In <i>New York Tablet</i> for +1880, a letter from Daniel O'Shea, who stated that for a large number of +years he was a resident in Killarney.</p> + +<p>'Among the most prominent tyrants was Lord Kenmare, who has so recently +surpassed himself and his antecedents in despotism. He is a lineal +descendant of the original land thief, Valentine Brown, who was a +special pet of 'the Virgin Queen' Bess, and strange to relate, this +descendant of that Brown is a much-favoured pet of John Brown's Queen. +Let me explain that he lives with the Queen in London where he holds the +position of chamberlain (<i>sic</i>) ... At Aghadoe House now resides that +ruthless Sam Hussey. Allow me to give you an outline of this heartless +fellow's antecedents. This Hussey is of English origin and was formerly +a cattle-dealer, and practised usury as far back as 1845. If all Ireland +were to be searched for a similar despot he would not be found. He is a +regular anti-Christ and Orangeman at heart, and, in fact, he acts as +agent for all the bankrupt landlords in Kerry. An English-Irish landlord +is an alien in heart, a despot by instinct, an absentee by inclination; +and all the foul confederacy of landlordism in Kerry is always in direct +opposition to the cause of Ireland.'</p> + +<p>There is a copious mendacity about that effusion which makes me think +the real mission of the writer should have been to become an Irish +Member of Parliament. His powers of misrepresentation would have raised +him to an eminence among obstructionists.<a name="Page_211" id="Page_211" /></p> + +<p>After all, scurrilous denunciation never affected me. His life by Sir +Wemyss Reid reveals how Mr. W.E. Forster flinched under the vituperation +levelled at his head. But he was not an Irishman, least of all a Kerry +man, and so he never felt the fun of the fray, the grim earnest of the +fight which made me set my teeth and give as good as I received. Indeed, +I'll take my oath no man had the better of me, either in bandying words +or yet in acts, so long as they were open and above-board, but it has +always been the way of sedition and conspiracy to hit below the belt.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX" />CHAPTER XIX<a name="Page_212" id="Page_212" /></h2> + +<h4>MURDER, OUTRAGE AND CRIME</h4> + + +<p>Once launched upon memories of those horrible perpetrations by so-called +Christians, which disgraced alike my native country and all Christendom +(because the criminals nominally worshipped the same God, and professed +reverence to Him), I could enumerate instances until I had filled a +volume.</p> + +<p>You know how the Ghost told Hamlet that he could a tale unfold, whose +lightest word would harrow up his soul. Why, I could tell five score, +and still not have exhausted the roll of crime.</p> + +<p>As my experience is mainly connected with Kerry, it is +characteristically Irish for me to start with an example from County +Cork. The outrage was on the Rathcole estate of Sir George Colthurst. +The rental was £1500, and the landlord had expended £10,000 on +improvements, so that it was not to be wondered that the labourers +should meet to celebrate their employer's marriage.</p> + +<p>Nor to any one knowing Ireland was it surprising that the Land League +should have despatched one of their well-armed bands to fire on them for +so doing.</p> + +<p>This was apparently a challenge to Kerry not to be outdone in barbarity +by Cork, her neighbour and rival.</p> + +<p>Kerry was quite equal to current demands on her inhumanity.</p> + +<p>A labourer of the M'Gillycuddys was visited by another Land League +detachment and had his ear, <i>à la</i> Bulgaria, cut clean off to the bone, +because he worked on a farm from which a tenant had been evicted.<a name="Page_213" id="Page_213" /></p> + +<p>The next night a small Protestant farmer near Tralee found his best cow +tortured and killed because he had sold milk to the police.</p> + +<p>On the same night a farmer's house was sacked because he had bought some +'boycotted' hay.</p> + +<p>Still on the same night, at Millstreet, another Land League gang +attacked a house, one of the Land League police being killed, and one of +the Crown police wounded.</p> + +<p>In fact, all law save Land League law was for a time at an end in +Munster.</p> + +<p>At one Kerry Assize, a criminal caught by four policemen in the very act +of breaking into a house, was acquitted, and at the Cork Assize the +Crown Prosecutor, after half a dozen acquittals, announced he would not +continue the farce of putting criminals on their trial.</p> + +<p>I mentioned boycotting just now, but I am tempted to pause, because a +new generation that knows not Parnellism, nor the extent of crime in +that unhappy period, may not be aware of the origin of the term.</p> + +<p>Captain Boycott was agent for Lord Erne's Mayo estates, and laid out the +whole of his capital £6000, in improving and stocking his own property. +Because, in the course of his duty, he served some ejectment notices, he +was denounced by the Land League, his farm servants were terrorised into +leaving his employment, and when he imported fifty labourers from the +north of Ireland to save his crops, the Government had to despatch a +small army corps of troops and constabulary to protect them. So great +was the power of the League, that even in Dublin the landlord of a hotel +declined to let him stop more than twenty-four hours in the house, as he +was threatened if he ventured to harbour him. For the protection of his +life and no more, the unfortunate gentleman had to leave the country.<a name="Page_214" id="Page_214" /></p> + +<p>Baron Dowse said in charging the Grand Jury of the Connaught Western +Assize, that this case had 'excited the wonder and amazement of a great +part of the United Kingdom and the sorrow of a considerable portion of +Ireland.' Very soon the name of Boycott was given to the approved method +of actively sending a man to Coventry, or threatening his life and +property as well as refusing to permit him to be supplied with even the +bare necessities of existence.</p> + +<p>Baron Dowse, a man who had no fear of unmanly criminals, justly styled +this a reign of terror.</p> + +<p>Kerry is divided into six Poor Law Unions, three of them—Kenmare, +Cahirciveen and Dingle—are very poor districts; but there was +practically not an outrage in them. Killarney, Tralee and Listowel are +rich by comparison, Tralee being the richest of the three, and +Castleisland the wealthiest portion of the district. There were nearly +as many outrages there as in the whole of the rest of the country, which +shows that poverty was not the cause.</p> + +<p>I was in and out of Castleisland, but though I had a sheaf of +threatening letters, I never met with any insults or received a threat +to my face.</p> + +<p>Only once did I overhear any hostile mutterings. This was when I was +driving out of Tralee, and my coachman stopped to give a message in the +dusk at a house on the outskirts of the town.</p> + +<p>Suddenly two or three men came up, and one said:—</p> + +<p>'Now's the time to settle old Hussey.'</p> + +<p>Old Hussey—to use their accurate nomenclature—popped his head out of +the window, and also his right hand which held a most serviceable +revolver and invited them to come on.<a name="Page_215" id="Page_215" /></p> + +<p>They did not. In fact they scattered with a rapidity which proved they +had not imbibed enough whisky to affect their legs or give them courage.</p> + +<p>This will show that my business—to collect what was due to the +landlords I represented—was not always agreeable work or always easy. +But my duty was to get in rents, and so I got them, whenever I could.</p> + +<p>The tenants did not all pay direct, for many were far too frightened. +Quite a number, even of the Roman Catholics, used to send the money +through the Protestant clergy.</p> + +<p>How they settled this in the confessional I do not know, possibly it was +a trifle they did not consider worth troubling the priest with.</p> + +<p>Three tenants on Lord Kenmare's estate came into my office on one +occasion, and said they would like to pay their rent, but were afraid of +the Land League.</p> + +<p>I treated their fears as arrant nonsense, but told them to come and +argue it out with me in my own room.</p> + +<p>So soon as they could not be seen by any one they paid up.</p> + +<p>Within a few days an armed party went to their houses and shot the three +in their legs.</p> + +<p>One man's life was despaired of for some time, but finally they all +recovered.</p> + +<p>This outrage was a rather late one, because the Land League latterly +decided to shoot objectionable characters only in the legs, because +though a fuss was made at the time, if a man was killed it was soon +forgotten afterwards, whereas a lame man was a lifelong testimony to +their power.</p> + +<p>There is a man hobbling about Castleisland to this day, who was peppered +in this comparatively humanitarian way. I am quite sure he would say +such a comparison had proved odious.<a name="Page_216" id="Page_216" /></p> + +<p>Judge Barry very truly said that a thatched cabin on a mountain-side was +not much of a place of defence, and if the tenant was supposed to have +paid his rent, he would be told to run out with probably three men +standing at the door to shoot him. That was terrorism as inculcated by +the so-called friends of Ireland.</p> + +<p>Mr. Forster in his plucky speech to the crowd at Tullamore, said:—</p> + +<p>'I went when I was at Tulla to the workhouse, and there saw a poor +fellow lying in bed, the doctors around him, with a blue light over his +face that made me feel that the doctors were not right, when they told +me he might get over it. I felt sure that he must die, and I see this +morning that he has died. But why did that man die? He was a poor lone +farmer. I believe he had paid his rent—I believe he had committed that +crime. He thought it his duty to pay. Fifteen or sixteen men broke into +his house in the middle of the night, pulled him out of his bed and told +him they would punish him. He himself, lying in his death agony as it +were, told me the story. He said, "My wife went down on her knees and +said, 'Here are five helpless children, will you kill their father?'" +They took him out, they discharged a gun filled with shot into his leg, +so closely that they shattered his leg.'</p> + +<p>Now there were dozens of instances of that kind of thing in Kerry.</p> + +<p>Mr. Parnell started the whole vile crusade, when at Ennis he gave the +advice to shun any man who had bid for a farm from which a tenant had +been evicted.<a name="Page_217" id="Page_217" /></p> + +<p>'Shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.'</p> + +<p>His words were implicitly obeyed, and outrage followed mere boycotting +till the rapid succession of crimes prevented each one having its full +effect in horrifying civilised Europe.</p> + +<p>A very bad case occurred in Millstreet.</p> + +<p>Jeremiah Haggerty was a large farmer and shopkeeper. There was no +objection to him, except that he declined to join the Land League, for +which his shop was boycotted, which he told me meant the loss of a +thousand a year to him, but the League failed to boycott his farm, +because he was too good an employer.</p> + +<p>He was fired at coming into Millstreet, and the outrage had been so +openly planned, that it was talked of on the preceding evening in every +whisky store.</p> + +<p>On another occasion he was leaving Millstreet station, about a mile from +the town, and when about twenty yards from the station he was fired at +and forty grains of shot lodged in the back of his head, neck, and body. +As it was twilight, a railway porter obligingly held up his lantern to +give the miscreants a better view of their victim.</p> + +<p>He was a man of most honourable and upright character, who had worked +his way up, and he has now regained his popularity. He started as a +clerk in quite a small way, and must now be worth a very large sum of +money. I was instrumental in getting him made a magistrate, and I have +the greatest respect for him.</p> + +<p>I regard this as a decidedly serious example, because of the popularity +of the victim, and also because he had offended no one by word or deed. +Still, there were, of course, many instances which were even more +outrageous.</p> + +<p>A farmer, name of Brown, was shot at Castleisland. Two men were arrested +for the murder, and were twice tried before Cork juries. The first +disagreed, but the second found them guilty.<a name="Page_218" id="Page_218" /></p> + +<p>A subscription was made up for the families of the two murderers, to +which contributions were made by the leading shopkeepers of several +neighbouring towns. For several years afterwards, Mrs. Brown could not +get a man to dig her potatoes, nor a woman to milk her cows, although +she had tendered no evidence at the trial, and it was clearly proved +that Brown had given no cause of offence.</p> + +<p>But, as a Land Leaguer said to me, it was suspected that he might be in +a position to do so.</p> + +<p>Red Indians, or any other barbarians you can think of, would not have +been guilty of wreaking vengeance on the widow of an innocent murdered +man, nor of endowing the wives of his assassins.</p> + +<p>Here is another murder story.</p> + +<p>A caretaker on an evicted farm on the property of Lord Cork, near +Kanturk, was murdered for taking charge of it.</p> + +<p>The evicted tenant had owed eleven years' rent.</p> + +<p>Lord Cork had agreed to accept one year's rent in full acquittal, and so +good a landlord was he, that the neighbours of the debtor offered to +make up the amount to that sum.</p> + +<p>The tenant firmly declined to pay, because he said another year would +bring him within the statute of limitations.</p> + +<p>So then he had to be evicted.</p> + +<p>Two men were clearly identified as having perpetrated the unprovoked +crime of assassinating the temporary occupant of the property, and were +arrested.</p> + +<p>The Gladstonian Attorney-General, in order to curry popularity, declined +to challenge the jury, when the first man was put on his trial. +Consequently three cousins of the prisoner were impanelled, the jury +disagreed, and the wretch bolted to America that same night.<a name="Page_219" id="Page_219" /></p> + +<p>The second man, though less guilty, was duly tried before a challenged +jury, and not only sentenced but hanged.</p> + +<p>He was the organiser of outrages for Cork, and his brother held the +similar delectable office for Kerry. A good deal of the impunity with +which crime was committed was due to the change in the jury laws, by +which so low a class of man was summoned into the box, that criminals +began to consider conviction impossible. To my mind it was quite worth +the consideration of the Cabinet of the time, whether trial by jury +ought not to be abolished in Ireland—indeed, even to-day, I can see few +reasons for its retention and many for its abolition.</p> + +<p>Anyhow in the bad times I am now dealing with, to send persons for trial +before a jury was but to advertise the weakness of the law.</p> + +<p>Two men at Tralee were suspected of having paid their rent to me, and in +spite of their assurances that they were quite innocent and had not paid +a farthing for two years, it was necessary for the police to escort them +after nightfall to their homes about four miles away, and to advise them +not to venture into the town for a long while after.</p> + +<p>One of the worst features, however, of all this terrible period was that +helpless girls and women were victims as well as men, I know of a case +where some ruffians entered the house of a family at night, went into +the bedroom of one of the girls, seized her violently, forced her on her +knees, and held her in that position while one of the gang cut off her +hair with shears, and then poured a quantity of hot tar on her head +before entering the bedroom of her sister to do the same.<a name="Page_220" id="Page_220" /></p> + +<p>A similar fate befell two girls named Murphy merely because they were +suspected of speaking to a policeman.</p> + +<p>A man named Finlay was boycotted and then shot dead, and the neighbours +jeered and laughed at his wife, when in her agony she was wringing her +hands in grief.</p> + +<p>The poor woman went into the street and knelt down crying:—</p> + +<p>'The curse of God rest upon Father —— for being the cause of my +husband's murder.'</p> + +<p>The priest had denounced him from the altar on the previous Sunday.</p> + +<p>'Carding' has always been a favourite Irish form of physically +insinuating to a man that he is not exactly popular. It consists of a +wooden board with nails in it being drawn down the naked flesh of a +man's face and body. This foul torture was often heard of, and it has +been whispered that women and even girls have been the victims of this +atrocity.</p> + +<p>The merciful man is proverbially merciful to his beast, and those who +showed mercy to neither man nor woman had none on the dumb animals owned +by their victims.</p> + +<p>A valuable Spanish ass belonging to Mr. M'Cowan of Tralee was saturated +with paraffin, set on fire, and horribly burned.</p> + +<p>A farmer named Lambert found the shoulder of a heifer had been smashed +by some blunt instrument like a hammer. I myself had a couple of cows +killed and salted.</p> + +<p>Indeed cattle outrages became incidents of nightly occurrence. Tenants +in all disturbed counties, besides having their houses burnt, saw their +cattle so horribly mutilated that the poor dumb creatures had to be +killed to put them out of their misery. The Society for the Prevention +of Cruelty to Animals would have no chance of obtaining general support +among the lower classes in Kerry, where beasts belonging to your enemy +are simply regarded as so many goods and chattels, to be as badly +damaged as possible.<a name="Page_221" id="Page_221" /></p> + +<p>It is a curious thing that the Irish and the Italian are the two most +poetic and most sensitive races of Europe, and also are the two which +exhibit the greatest indifference to the sufferings of dumb animals.</p> + +<p>The distress in Kerry, of course, in the winter of 1879 had been as +great as in the more famous famine, and I have heard the theory advanced +in a London drawing-room that physical suffering renders uneducated +people indifferent to any torture endured by animals. Personally, I +should have thought a fellow feeling made us wondrous kind.</p> + +<p>Reverting to matters with which I had more personal connection, an +interesting episode occurred in June 1881, when The O'Donoghue moved the +adjournment of the House of Commons to force a debate upon the subject +of Lord Kenmare's estate, and I wrote a letter in the <i>Times</i> in reply, +from which may be condensed the following facts:—</p> + +<p>On the Cork estate, from 1878 to 1881, the evictions did not average one +for each year for every two hundred tenants.</p> + +<p>On the Limerick estate for five years there have been no evictions.</p> + +<p>On the Kerry estate, since he succeeded (in 1871), Lord Kenmare has +expended £67,115 on drainage, road-making, and building cottages. The +evictions have been about one in five hundred in every half year. The +abatements, allowances, and expenditure in 1878, '79, '80, and '81, +exclusive of what was spent on the house and demesne, were, £33,645, and +I am under the mark when I say that, altogether, for these years of +distress, Lord Kenmare spent more on his Kerry estates than he received +out of it; yet for this, Land League meetings were held on his estate, +and he was denounced in Parliament. The week that the Land League +compelled Lord Kenmare to discontinue his employment to labourers, the +weekly labour bill was £460.<a name="Page_222" id="Page_222" /></p> + +<p>There is no need to trouble readers with any further correspondence on a +topic on which no one could answer me except by abuse, which is no +argument; nor will I inflict any of the letters in which Mr. Sexton was +clearly proved in the wrong when he misrepresented the case of Pat +Murphy of Rath.</p> + +<p>As an example of the state of affairs, in Millstreet—a mere +village—there were thirty cases of nocturnal raid in the month of +August 1881, even while it was engaging the attention of Mr. T.O. +Plunkett, R.M., Mr. French, chief of the detective department, two +sub-inspectors, thirty-five constabulary, and fifty men of the 80th +Regiment.</p> + +<p>In the <i>Daily Telegraph</i>, with reference to the murder of Gallivan, near +Castleisland, this remark appeared in a leader:—</p> + +<p>'Horror-stricken humanity demands that an example be speedily made of +the truculent and merciless ruffian who perpetrated this outrage.'</p> + +<p>I quoted this in a letter the editor published, adding:—</p> + +<p>'A few weeks after that occasion an old man named Flynn was shot within +two miles of the place, because he paid his rent. His leg has since been +amputated.'</p> + +<p>Then I gave the following horrible case:—</p> + +<p>On Sunday night the Land League police went to the house of a man named +Dan Dooling, who lived within a mile of Gallivan's house, and within one +mile of Castleisland, and because he paid his rent on getting a +reduction of thirty per cent., he was taken out and shot in the thigh. +His wife, who was only three days after her confinement, pleaded for +mercy on this account, but these lynch law authorities were deaf to the +appeal for mercy, and she did not recover the shock of the entry of +these 'moonlight' Thugs. This man could have identified his assailants, +but he did not dare.<a name="Page_223" id="Page_223" /></p> + +<p>A good fellow called M'Auliffe, whose arm was shot off, could have done +the same. The poor chap could be seen walking about with one arm, +deprived of the means of earning his bread, and no doubt moralising over +the state of the law, which would compensate him for the loss of his +cow, if he had one, but gave him nothing for the loss of his arm.</p> + +<p>On Friday, November 18, 1881, two tenants, named Cronin and one O'Keefe, +holding land from Lord Kenmare, came into my office in Killarney.</p> + +<p>O'Keefe, an old man of seventy, was the spokesman, and said:—</p> + +<p>'If you plase, sorr, we have the rint in our pocket, and would be glad +to pay it if it were not for the fear that we have of being shot.'</p> + +<p>To my lasting regret, I replied:—</p> + +<p>'There is no danger. You must pay.'</p> + +<p>They did, and on the Sunday week following, a band of marauders, headed +by fife and drum, went to the houses of these men, and shot them in the +presence of their families. All the flesh on the lower part of O'Keefe's +legs was shot away, one of the Cronins was shot in the knee, but the +other in the body.</p> + +<p>Everybody in the neighbourhood knew the perpetrators of this ghastly +outrage, but said:—</p> + +<p>'What use would there be in our telling, as the jury would acquit them, +and we should be shot?'</p> + +<p>Then came this announcement, which caused great excitement in +Killarney:—</p> + +<p>'In consequence of the difficulty of getting his rents, the Earl of +Kenmare has decided to leave the country for the present. All the +labourers employed on the estate are discharged, as well as some of the +gamekeepers.'<a name="Page_224" id="Page_224" /></p> + +<p>My own opinion was that he showed great wisdom in abandoning the +ungrateful locality where only man, debased by the Land League, was +vile.</p> + +<p>Outside my own folk, I found the people stiffer and less affable than +formerly; but at no time had I any difficulty in obtaining or keeping +domestic servants, though my wife got the majority from the +neighbourhood of Edenburn.</p> + +<p>I used to sit, on and off, on the bench as regularly as most of the +other magistrates, whenever, indeed, my business permitted me to do so, +and to my face no one ventured to abuse me.</p> + +<p>Quite late in the bad times when I wanted a decree of ejectment against +a fellow, the chairman, desiring to make peace, explained that his +hesitation was entirely on my account, to save me from danger.</p> + +<p>I replied that I had not quailed all those years, and I was too old to +begin; so I had my decree, and that fellow's threats were as +contemptuously treated as all the rest.</p> + +<p>The Bank had a decree against a tenant of mine, and, having sold him +out, entered into possession and put in a caretaker.</p> + +<p>He was in occupation about eight hours, when he grew so frightened that +he ran away. The tenant then went back into possession as a caretaker, +whom nobody dared dislodge, and he promptly went to the Tralee Board of +Guardians to obtain a pound a week as an evicted tenant.</p> + +<p>At that time two-thirds of the poor-rate was paid by the landlord. When +the tenancy was over £4 a year, they had to allow each tenant half the +rate he paid; when it was under this sum, they had to pay the whole of +it, and, of course, all the rates for land in their own occupation.<a name="Page_225" id="Page_225" /></p> + +<p>Thus the Board of Guardians were utilising the money of the landlords in +order to remunerate the men who were robbing them of their property.</p> + +<p>If a tenant—who generally had some money—was evicted, a notice was +served on the relieving officer to provide him with a conveyance, in +which he was taken to the poorhouse; but if a farmer evicted a +labourer—who had, perhaps, nothing but the suit of clothes in which he +stood up—he was allowed to walk to the poorhouse as best he might, and, +when he got there, he obtained no special relief.</p> + +<p>It is true that the passing of the Habeas Corpus Suspension Act offered +another opportunity to the Government for striking a severe blow, but it +was frittered away, although, before it became law, many of the leaders +of disorder left the country, dreading its provisions.</p> + +<p>Instead, the isolated arrests revealed that the criminals were provided +with special accommodation and superior fare.</p> + +<p>A district officer, asked by Lord Spencer for his views on the Coercion +Act, replied:—</p> + +<p>'The only coercion I can perceive, your Excellency, is that people +accustomed to live on potatoes and milk are forced to feed on salmon and +wine.'</p> + +<p>The last outrage I intend to mention in this chapter was a very +remarkable one.</p> + +<p>There was a contest for the chairmanship of the Tralee Board of +Guardians. The Land League put forward a candidate who was at the time +an inmate of Kilmainham gaol. The landlords, who at this earlier stage +still had some power, conceived that the residence of the Home Ruler +would not facilitate his control over the Board, and chose a candidate +whose abode was not only more adjacent, but whose movements were +unfettered.<a name="Page_226" id="Page_226" /></p> + +<p>The voting was even, until Mr. A.E. Herbert came into the room and gave +his casting vote against the involuntary tenant of the Kilmainham +hostelry. For this he was murdered three days later, and by the crime +they hoped to ensure that on the next occasion the landlords would +abstain from voting at all.</p> + +<p>That murder of Mr. Arthur Herbert on his return from Petty Sessions at +Castleisland was one of the worst, and as an exhibition of infernal +hatred and vengeance it transcended the murders of Lord Mountmorres and +Lord Leitrim. It cannot be denied that Mr. Herbert committed acts of a +harsh and overbearing character. He was a turbulent, headstrong man, +brave to rashness and foolhardiness, and too fond of proclaiming his +contempt for the people by whom he was surrounded. As a magistrate, +sitting at Brosna Petty Sessions, he expressed his regret that he was +not in command of a force when a riot occurred in that village, when he +would have 'skivered the people with buckshot,' language brought under +the notice of the Lord Chancellor and the House of Commons.</p> + +<p>He was the son of a clergyman, and lived at Killeentierna House with his +mother, a venerable old lady over eighty, he being himself forty-five. +His income was estimated at about four hundred a year, and as his +relations with tenantry were not harmonious, he never went out without a +six-chambered revolver in his pocket. Physically he was very +robust—over five feet ten in height, and very corpulent. In his own +neighbourhood he always was known as 'Mr. Arthur.'</p> + +<p>Leaving Castleisland about five in the afternoon, he was accompanied for +about a mile by the head constable, who then turned back. Mr. Herbert +had not proceeded a quarter of a mile further when he was felled by the +assassins. The spot chosen was singularly open, no shelter being visible +for some distance. Several shots were heard by a labourer at work in a +quarry, and when he came up he found Mr. Herbert lying on his face in +the road, quite dead, the earth about him being covered with pools of +blood. The body was almost riddled with shot and bullets.<a name="Page_227" id="Page_227" /></p> + +<p>That night a further illustration of the vindictive ferocity of the +outrage was given. The lawn in front of Killeentierna was patrolled +regularly by some of the large body of police which at once occupied the +house. On this lawn eleven lambs were grazing. At half-past two these +were seen by the police to be all right. At daybreak the eleven were +found stabbed with pitchforks—nine of them killed outright, and two +wounded to death. This act, as wretched as it was daring, added a new +horror to the crime.</p> + +<p>Mr. Herbert's murder was received with such exuberant delight in Kerry +that my steward said to me:—</p> + +<p>'You would think, sir, that rent was abolished and the duty taken off +whisky.'</p> + +<p>Constabulary had for a long while to be told off to prevent his grave +being desecrated.</p> + +<p>That is a pretty tough outrage for optimistic philanthropists to +consider when they are addicted to announcing how far our generations +have progressed from barbarism.</p> + +<p>The price of blood in Kerry was not high. For example, the men that +murdered FitzMaurice were paid £5 for the job, and they had never seen +him before. His family had to be under police protection for five years, +and I managed to get £1000 subscribed for them in England, Mr. Froude +taking an enthusiastic and generous interest in a very sad case. The +victim left two daughters, who both married policemen.<a name="Page_228" id="Page_228" /></p> + +<p>One young and cheery Kerry landlord was very proud, about 1886, at the +price of forty shillings being offered for his life by the Land League, +whereas nearly all the others were only valued at half a sovereign +apiece.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, almost any one could have been shot at Castleisland +if a sovereign were offered, for they cared no more for human life than +for that of a rat. Parnell himself would have been shot by any one of a +couple of dozen fellows willing to earn a dishonest living if a +five-pound note had been locally put upon his head. A patriotic +philanthropist, destitute of the bowels of compassion and of every +dictate of humanity, might have saved a great deal of undeserved +suffering if he had made this donation towards his 'removal'—a pretty +euphemism of Land League coinage.</p> + +<p>Most of that generation are dead, in gaol, or have emigrated. It would +take the deuce of a big sum to tempt any Castleislander to-day to commit +murder, except under provocation, and the same improvement is observable +all over Ireland. I believe a hundred pounds might be put on the head of +the least popular agent or landlord, and he might walk unscathed without +police protection.</p> + +<p>All that has been set forth in this chapter might be regarded as a heavy +indictment of crime and disorder, but I cannot avoid adding one +confirmatory piece of evidence, as eloquent as it is accurate. This is +the fearful description of the state of Kerry which appears in Judge +O'Brien's charge to the Grand Jury at the Assizes, founded, of course, +on the report of outrages submitted to him. It is impossible to guess in +what stronger words his opinions would have been expressed if the total +number of outrages committed had been laid before him; but it is well +known that only a few of those committed were reported, as, if the +criminals were taken up and identified, the victims would be likely to +be shot in revenge, while the guilty persons, tried by a sympathising +jury, would obtain acquittal and popular advertisement.<a name="Page_229" id="Page_229" /></p> + +<p>The charge was as follows:—</p> + +<p>'COLONEL CROSBIE AND GENTLEMEN OF THE GRAND JURY OF KERRY—I requested +your permission to defer any observations I was about to make to you, in +order that I might have an opportunity of examining certain returns +which had been made to me containing materials for forming a judgment +upon the state of things in this county of which I was put in possession +upon my arrival, and I was desirous of being afforded an opportunity of +examining these materials to try if I could discern whether, in the +considerable lapse of time that has happened since the last Assizes, I +could see any reason to conclude that an improvement had taken place in +the state of things that has now so long existed in the County of Kerry, +and other counties in the south of Ireland, to try if I could discern +whether lapse of time itself, the weariness of that state of things, if +the law and influences that lead persons to avoid violations of the law, +or to follow the pursuits of industry, had led in the end to any +favourable change in the state of things; but I grieve to say that it is +not in my power, unfortunately, to announce that any change has taken +place. On the contrary, all the means of information that I possess lead +to the unhappy conclusion that there is no improvement, but that, on the +contrary, there exists, even at this moment, a most extraordinary state +of things—a state of things of an unprecedented description—nothing +short, in fact, of a state of open war with all forms of authority, and +even, I may say without exaggeration, with the necessary institutions of +civilised life.<a name="Page_230" id="Page_230" /></p> + +<p>'These returns present a picture of the County Kerry such as can hardly +be found in any country that has passed the confines of natural society +and entered upon the duties and relations, and acknowledged the +obligations, of civilised life. The law is defeated—perhaps I should +rather say, has ceased to exist! Houses are attacked by night and day, +even the midnight terror yielding to the noonday anxiety of crime! +Person and life are assailed! The terrified inmates are wholly unable to +do anything to protect themselves, and a state of terror and lawlessness +prevails everywhere. Even some persons who possess means of information +that are not open to me, profess to discern in the signs of public +feeling, in the views of some hope and some fear, the expectation of +something about to happen, something reaching far beyond partial, or +local, or even agrarian, disturbance, and calculated to create a greater +degree of alarm than anything we have witnessed, or anything that has +happened.</p> + +<p>'When I come to compare the official returns of crime with those of the +preceding period, I find that the total number of offences in this +county since the last Assizes is somewhat less in number, even +considerably less in number, than in the corresponding or the preceding +period of the former years. But the diminution of number affords no +assurance or ground of improvement at all, because I find that the +diminution is accounted for entirely in the class of offences that +acknowledges to some extent the power and influence of the law, namely, +in threatening letters and notices, while the amount of open and actual +crime is greater than it was in the former period, showing that there is +an increased confidence in impunity, and that menace has given place to +the deed. Within not more than ten days from the time that I am now +speaking, not less than four examples of midnight invasion of houses in +this county have occurred, accompanied with all the usual incidents of +disguises and arms, and the firing of shots, and violence threatened or +committed; in one instance the outrage having been committed upon the +residence of a magistrate of this county, a man living with his family +in his home, in the supposed delusive security of domestic life, of law, +and respect for social station; and in another instance committed upon a +humble man, and encountered, I am glad to say, in that instance, with a +brave resistance, giving an example of courage which, if it were widely +imitated, many of the evils that this country suffers from would no +longer exist.<a name="Page_231" id="Page_231" /></p> + +<p>'I need not dwell upon the most aggravated instance of all which this +calendar of crime presents—one that is quite recent, and within the +memory of you all—the murder of Cornelius Murphy, a humble man, but one +enjoying apparently the confidence and respect of all his neighbours, +who had done no harm to any person, who was not conscious of any +offence, whose house was invaded at a still early hour of the evening, +and before the daylight had departed, by a band of men that is shown to +have traversed a considerable distance of country, giving opportunities +of recognition to many, and with hardly the pretext of an offence on his +part, and in reality with the object of private plunder or private +hostility—one of those motives that always take advantage of a state of +disturbance in order to gratify private ends—slain in his own house in +the presence of his own family. Certain persons, it would appear, have +been arrested on a charge of complicity with this crime, and it may be +that this cruel and wicked crime may be the means of discovering other +crimes, and of leading in the end to the detection, if not to the +conviction, of persons who have been connected in them, and those who +rest in the supposed confidence of impunity may find the spell broken, +may find the light of information to reach them, and may find in the end +that the law will be able to prevail; because it must be in the +experience of many of you that it is unhappily in the power of a few +persons who engage in this system of nightly invasion of houses to +multiply themselves, apparently by means of terror and intimidation, +although at the same time there can be no doubt that, on account of +interval of distances, and for many such reasons, there must be many +such combinations in this country, acting entirely independent of each +other.<a name="Page_232" id="Page_232" /></p> + +<p>'No person can be at a loss to understand the misery and suffering that +arises from a state of crime; but perhaps all persons in the community +do not equally understand one form of consequence to material prosperity +that results from it. I have before me a document that contains most +terribly significant evidence of mischief, alike to all classes of the +community, that results from crime and a state of social disturbance. I +have a return of malicious injuries which form the subject of +presentment at these Assizes, in number, I understand, exceeding all +former precedent. There are no less than eighty-six presentments, +representing all forms of wicked outrage upon property, a tempest—I +might say without exaggeration, a tempest—of violence and crime that +has swept over a considerable portion of this county. The claims amount +to £2700, with the result that the Grand Jury had presented upon a +certain part of this county £1250, exercising apparently the greatest +care and discrimination in reducing the amount of the claims, and this +£1250 was not put upon the whole county, but on certain parts of the +county, and the amount at the very least aggravated in a most serious +degree the weight of taxation that falls upon the ratepayers of the +County Kerry, deepening the difficulties that all classes alike must +experience from the depression of the times, and from the other burdens +they have to meet in providing against the demands that are made upon +them.<a name="Page_233" id="Page_233" /></p> + +<p>'But, of course, you can easily understand that these things do not at +all give you any idea of other forms of material injury that arise from +crime and disturbance, in the loss of employment and the discouragement +of capital, the injury to trade, and the multiplied consequences of all +kinds detrimental to the community that arise from insecurity to +personal property and life. And to all those evils we have to add +another, and perhaps the worst of all—that of which you are all +conscious, of which experience and observation reaches you every day in +all the forms of social life—a system of unseen terrorism, a system of +terror and tyranny that the well-disposed class of the community ought +to detest and abhor, and in reference to which, on all sides, I have +heard, in this county and other counties, one universal expression of +desire—that some means should be found to put an end to it.</p> + +<p>'I possess no power myself to effect this state of things, and I cannot +say that in the relation to the law which you fill as members of the +Grand Jury, or in any other relation to the law, you possess the means +to effect it. The duty of providing against so great an evil existing in +the community—the duty and the obligation rests with others. My duty is +simply confined to representing to you the state of things that exists, +and, indeed, in that respect I know that I am doing what is entirely +unnecessary, for the state of the County Kerry now, and for a period of +five or six years, in all its essential features, is known far beyond +the limits of the county, to every single person in the country. I will +merely make use of one general observation—that I by no means share in +the opinion that has been expressed as to the inability to deal with +this state of things. On the contrary, I entertain the most perfect +confidence that it is in the power of those who are intrusted with the +duty of maintaining the public peace to re-establish order and law and +peace in this county. And as my duty is confined to representing that +state of things, that duty does not carry me to indicate to those on +whom the responsibility rests the means to attain that object.'<a name="Page_234" id="Page_234" /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX" />CHAPTER XX<a name="Page_235" id="Page_235" /></h2> + +<h4>THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE</h4> + + +<p>In the early part of the winter of 1884, so bad did the state of Kerry +become, and so menacing was the attitude of the Land Leaguers towards +myself, that I felt I had no right to endanger the lives of my wife and +daughters by any longer permitting them to reside at Edenburn.</p> + +<p>In all those years, from 1878 to 1884, be it noted that I gave more +employment in Kerry than any one man, a fact which has been testified to +by different parish priests, but at the same time I was agent for a +great many landlords, and tried my level best to get in rents for my +employers.</p> + +<p>For this cause my life had been repeatedly threatened, and now, in +November 1884, dynamite was put to my house, the back of it being badly +blown up. There were sixteen individuals in the house, mostly women and +children, and an attempt was therefore made to murder them all in the +effort to take the life of one individual they were afraid to meet in +the open.</p> + +<p>The house was repaired and I received compensation in due course from +the County, but my family did not think after what had occurred that +Edenburn was a desirable place of residence. So I henceforth resided +much in London, and therefore spent a great deal less money in Kerry.</p> + +<p>Perhaps, however, I had better be a little more diffuse about what was +known all over the British Isles as the Edenburn Outrage, but the bulk +of this chapter will be drawn from observations by members of my family +and newspaper accounts, for the episode left considerably less +impression on my mind than it did on that of my womenfolk, and indeed on +the public, at the time.<a name="Page_236" id="Page_236" /></p> + +<p>To show how matters stood, one of my daughters reminds me that I gave +her a very neat revolver as a present, and that whenever she came back +from school she always slept with it under her pillow. Moreover, she +recollects that the customary Sunday afternoon pursuit was to have +revolver practice at the garden gate.</p> + +<p>There had been several episodes of an ugly nature; for example, one of +my sons competing in some sports at Tralee was advised to make an excuse +and to go home separately from the womenfolk.</p> + +<p>He took the hint, and my wife with the governess and several children +went back without him in the waggonette. About a mile and a half from +the town, just where the horses had to walk up a steep hill, a number of +men with bludgeons and sticks came out of a ditch, peered into the trap, +and seeing it contained nothing but women and children let it pass on +with a grunt of disgust, whilst they trudged back to Tralee.</p> + +<p>One of my daughters, years after, on being taken in to dinner in London, +was asked by her companion if she was any relation of mine.</p> + +<p>She having confessed the fact—one I hope in no way detrimental, though +I say so, perhaps, who should not—he mentioned that he had been to a +most cheery dance at Edenburn, which had made a great impression on his +mind, because for seven miles along the road by which he and his friends +drove there were pickets of constabulary, and the hall table was piled +so full with the revolvers brought by the guests, that all the hats and +coats had to be taken to the smoking-room.<a name="Page_237" id="Page_237" /></p> + +<p>It may be as well to again mention that my wife during the very worst +periods had never any difficulty in keeping or obtaining domestic +servants. No doubt the maids liked having two or three stalwart +constables always hanging about the place, and capital odd job men they +made.</p> + +<p>A constable neatly humbugged a footman, and I may here mention the +incident, though it is subsequent to the episode of this chapter.</p> + +<p>One house we took in London was in Glendower Place, and when the +servants arrived, my wife found that the footman's face was covered with +sticking-plaster. He was a regular gossoon, though shaped like a fine +specimen of the pampered menials who condescend to open the front door +of large mansions to their betters.</p> + +<p>A constable had hoaxed him into believing that he could never walk in +the London streets without using firearms, and having advised him to +learn to do so, the idiot put the weapon against his cheek, and the +first kick had knocked away a voluminous portion of his countenance.</p> + +<p>At the end of November 1884, we were packing up to leave, and all the +big cases were in the stable-yard ready to be carted away. There were +five policemen at the time in the house, and two of them were on sentry +duty all through the night.</p> + +<p>None of us had had good nights for some time past, but on the evening of +November 29th I came back from the meeting of the Board of Guardians at +Listowel, and said to my wife as we sat down to dinner:—</p> + +<p>'After all, we are starting for England to-morrow morning without any +necessity, for I do believe the country is beginning to settle down.'<a name="Page_238" id="Page_238" /></p> + +<p>This is the only occasion on which I ever ventured on a cheerful +prophecy since Ireland came under the baneful spell of Mr. Gladstone, +and it was the most foolish remark I ever made.</p> + +<p>That night came the explosion, but I prefer to let the press tell the +tale.</p> + +<p>The <i>Manchester Guardian</i> relates:—</p> + +<p>'The explosive matter was placed under an area in the basement story, +dynamite being the agent employed for the outrage. A large aperture was +made in the wall, which is three feet thick. Several large rents running +to the top have been made, and it now presents a most dilapidated +appearance. The ground-floor, where the explosion occurred, was used as +a larder, and everything in it was smashed to pieces, the glass +window-frames and shutters being shivered into atoms. On the three +stories above it, the explosion produced a similar effect. To the right +of it, one of Mr. Hussey's daughters was sleeping, and the window of her +room was entirely destroyed. Mr. J.E. Hussey, J.P., slept in another +room about thirty feet from the scene of the explosion, and his window +and room fared similarly. The butler slept in a small room on the +basement, which was completely wrecked, the windows being shattered to +pieces, the lamp and toilet broken, and the greater part of the ceiling +thrown on him in the bed. The length of the house is about fifty yards, +and the windows in the back, numbering twenty-six, have been altogether +destroyed. Mr. S.M. Hussey and his wife slept in the front, and they +were much affected by the explosion. Three policemen who had been +stationed in the house for the past couple of years slept on a +ground-floor in front. The coach-house and stables near the house were +considerably damaged. In the garden two greenhouses, one about 120 yards +away, and the other fully 150, were injured, the greater portion of the +glass being broken and the roofs shaken. In several houses at long +distances the shock was plainly felt. The dwelling-house subsequently +presented a very wrecked appearance. On looking at the back of it, there +are several rents or cracks to be seen in the solid masonry, and the +slates are shaken and displaced. Everything shows the terrific force of +the explosion. In the yard a large slate-house was much damaged, the +slates being displaced and the roof shaken and cracked. A large stone +was found here, having been blown from the dwelling-house.'<a name="Page_239" id="Page_239" /></p> + +<p>From the <i>Times</i> may be culled these additional particulars:</p> + +<p>'There is a fissure some inches wide in the main wall from the ground to +the roof, and a little more force would have effected the evident object +of making the residence of the obnoxious agent a heap of ruins. The +damage done is estimated at from £2000 to £3000, but this is only a +rough conjecture.'</p> + +<p>The <i>Cork Constitutional</i> throws further light in a somewhat badly +expressed article:—</p> + +<p>'The most extraordinary circumstance connected with the outrage is the +secrecy and stealth which must have been resorted to in order to avoid +detection. It was well known in the neighbourhood that not alone were +three policemen constantly at Edenburn for Mr. Hussey's protection, but +that a number of dogs were also kept on the premises, and it is, +therefore, astonishing the care and caution which must have been +resorted to in order to successfully lay and explode the destructive +material. Some idea of the force of the explosion as well as the +stability of the building which resisted it in a measure, may be +gathered from the fact that it was distinctly heard in the town of +Castleisland four miles away. Mr. R. Roche, J.P., who lives a mile from +Edenburn, also distinctly heard the explosion, which he describes as +resembling in sound that caused by the fall of a huge tree in close +proximity. Those who were at Edenburn at the time state that between +four and half-past four a low rumbling noise, followed by a sharp +report, was heard. The house trembled and shook to its foundations. The +inmates, some of whom were only awakened by the shock, were seized with +an indescribable terror. All the windows were smashed to atoms, the +furniture and fixtures in the interior were rattled, and some lighter +articles disturbed from their position. The suddenness of the alarm, and +the darkness of the night, coupled with an indefinite idea as to the +nature and extent of the explosion, made the occupants of the house +afraid to stir, and it was not until some servants living adjacent +arrived that the consternation caused in the household subsided +sufficiently to enable them to examine the house, and judge of the +narrow escape they had had from a violent and horrible death.'<a name="Page_240" id="Page_240" /></p> + +<p>The consternation most decidedly did not spread to the master and +mistress of the establishment. The <i>Kerry Sentinel</i> quickly had an +allusion to 'a report that Mr. Hussey turned into bed after the outrage +with one of his laconic jokes—that he should be called when the next +explosion occurred.'</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact what I did say was:-"My dear, we can have a quiet +night at last, for the scoundrels won't bother us again before +breakfast."</p> + +<p>And I can solemnly testify that within ten minutes of that observation I +was fast asleep, and never woke till I was called.</p> + +<p>But perhaps the best impression of what occurred can be obtained from +the recollection of my daughter Florence, now Mrs. Nicoll, who was an +inmate of Edenburn at the time.<a name="Page_241" id="Page_241" /></p> + +<p>'I was awakened by a terrific noise, which to my sleepy wits conveyed +the impression that the roof had fallen in. It was then between three +and four in the morning. I lit a candle and ran out into the passage +where were congregating my family in night attire. My father was +perfectly calm.</p> + +<p>'"Dynamite and badly managed," was his laconic explanation. We all asked +each other if we were hurt, and began to be alarmed about my brother +John, who, however, put in an appearance in a singularly attenuated +nightshirt, with a candle in one hand and a revolver in the other, with +which he was rubbing his sleepy eyes.</p> + +<p>'"Singular time of night, John, to try chemical experiments without our +permission, is it not?" said my father.</p> + +<p>'Then John and my mother went downstairs to inspect the premises; of the +back windows, thirty-four in number, there was not a bit of glass as big +as a threepenny piece left. Our brougham was in the yard; the window +next the explosion was intact, but the one on the further side was blown +to smithereens.</p> + +<p>'The servants were very scared, and one maid having rushed straight to a +sitting-room, was there found hysterically embracing a sofa cushion.</p> + +<p>'We received one odd claim for compensation. An old woman living half a +mile off complained that the force of the explosion had knocked some of +the plaster off the wall, and that it had fallen into a pan full of +milk, spoiling it.<a name="Page_242" id="Page_242" /></p> + +<p>'Whilst we were all chattering about the outrage, father said:—</p> + +<p>'"Don't be uneasy about a mere dynamite explosion; it's like an +Irishman's pig, you want it to go one way and it invariably goes in the +other."</p> + +<p>'And with that he went off to bed again, with the remark about having a +quiet night which he has mentioned earlier in this chapter.</p> + +<p>'The only other thing which I now recall is, that a detachment of the +Buffs in the neighbourhood had found us the only people to entertain +them.</p> + +<p>'On being told that Edenburn had been blown up, one of them said:—</p> + +<p>'"They were the only neighbours we had to talk to, and the brutes would +not leave us them as a convenience."'</p> + +<p>The Cork correspondent of the <i>Times</i> wrote:—</p> + +<p>'Among the general body of the people of Kerry, the news of the attempt +to blow up Mr. Hussey's house at Edenburn caused comparatively little +excitement. In the County Club at Tralee, the announcement was received +with something like a panic. Hitherto, persons who considered themselves +in danger were careful to be within their homes before darkness had set +in, and when going abroad had a following of police for their +protection. Now it is shown that their houses may prove but a sorry +shelter, even when a protective force of police is about, and it is no +wonder that, with the terrible example furnished in this instance of the +daring of those who commit foul crimes, the class against whom the +outrages are directed should be filled with fears for the future. The +people generally show but small interest in the occurrence.</p> + +<p>'The attempt to blow up Mr. Hussey's dwelling is the first of its kind +in Kerry, and the third that has been made in Ireland. Within the past +few years the districts of Castleisland and Tralee have been +distinguished for the number and ferocity of the outrages that were +committed there.'<a name="Page_243" id="Page_243" /></p> + +<p>I am also tempted to quote from the 'Leader' in the <i>Times</i> on the +outrage:—</p> + +<p>'Mr. Hussey has a reputation, not confined to Ireland, as an able, +fearless, and vigorous land agent, the best type of a much abused class +of men who have endured contumely and faced dangers, by day and night, +in order to protect the rights of property intrusted to them.</p> + +<p>'It appears that, owing to the disturbed state of the locality, he +intended to leave it for the winter; and this probably being known to +his enemies, they made an effort to destroy him before he got beyond +their reach. He, at all events, seems to have been under the spell of no +pleasing illusion as to the supposed tranquillity and the reign of +order. On the contrary, he is alleged to have stated that more outrages +than ever are committed, and that but for the deterrent force employed +by the Government, there would be no living in the country, ... This is +the opinion of the majority of Englishmen. They are not all satisfied +that the spirit of lawlessness and disorder is rooted out; and they will +find only too strong confirmation of their doubts in the reckless +violence of the National Press, and in the attempt—marked by novel +features of atrocity—to destroy Mr. Hussey's household.'</p> + +<p>As for the National Press, it indulged in an ecstasy of enthusiasm over +the perpetration, combined with intense disgust "at the miscarriage of +justice" of my having escaped without hurt or more than very temporary +inconvenience. On my departure, one eloquent writer compared me to +'Macduff taking his babes and bandboxes to England,' a choice simile I +have always appreciated.<a name="Page_244" id="Page_244" /></p> + +<p>The <i>United Ireland</i> of December 6, 1884, in a characteristic +leaderette, headed 'A very suspicious affair,' observes:—</p> + +<p>'We should like to know by what right the newspapers speak of the affair +as "a dynamite outrage"? A very curious surmise has been put forward +locally, namely, that the house had been stricken by lightning. The +shattering of a building by lightning is by no means phenomenal, and the +absence of all trace of any terrestrial explosive agency, gives colour +to the hypothesis that the destruction was due to meteorological +causes.'</p> + +<p>With one last quotation I cease to draw upon what may be termed outside +contributions, and it is one which gratified me at the time.</p> + +<p>It is taken from the <i>Cork Examiner</i> of December 12, 1884:—</p> + +<p>'Dear Sir,—Authoritative statements having been made in the Press and +elsewhere, that some persons living in Mr. Hussey's immediate +neighbourhood must have been the perpetrators of the horrible outrage, +or, at least, must have given active and guilty assistance to the +principal parties concerned in it; now we, the undersigned, tenants on +the property, and living in the closest proximity to Edenburn House and +demesne, take this opportunity of declaring in the most public and +solemn manner that neither directly nor indirectly, by word or deed, by +counsel or approval, had we any participation in the tragic disaster of +November 28. The relations hitherto existing between Mr. Hussey and us +have ever been of the most friendly character. As a landlord, his +dealings with us were such as gave unqualified satisfaction and were +marked by justice, impartiality, and very great indulgence. As a +neighbour he was extremely kind and obliging, ready whenever applied to, +to help us, as far as he was able, in every difficulty or trial in which +we might be placed. The bare suspicion, therefore, of being ever so +remotely connected with the recent explosion, is, to us, a source of the +deepest pain, a suspicion we repudiate with honest indignation. +Furthermore, the singular charity, benevolence, and amiability of Mrs. +Hussey are long and intimately known to us. We witness almost daily her +bountiful treatment of the poor, and tender care of the sick and infirm. +Her ears never refuse to listen with sympathy to every tale of distress, +nor will she hesitate with her own hands to wash and dress the festering +wounds and sores of those who flock to her from all the surrounding +parishes. With such knowledge as this, we should indeed be worse than +fiends did we raise a hand against the Hussey family, or engage in any +enterprise that would necessitate their departure from among us:—<a name="Page_245" id="Page_245" /></p> + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="0"> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>'RICHARD FITZGERALD.</td><td align='left'>DANIEL NEILL</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>DENIS DALY.</td><td align='left'>JOHN DALY. </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>JOHN REYNOLDS.</td><td align='left'>THOMAS CONNOR.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>CORNELIUS DALY.</td><td align='left'>JEREMIAH CONNOR.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>WILLIAM HOGAN.</td><td align='left'>THOMAS SHANAHEN.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>DARBY LEARY.</td><td align='left'>MICHAEL MOYNIHAR.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>JOHN MASON.</td><td align='left'>WIDOW AHERNE.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>JEREMIAH DINAN.</td><td align='left'>JAMES O'SULLIVAN.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>J. O'CONNELL.</td><td align='left'>JOHN M'ELLIGOTT.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>JOHN NELIGAN.</td><td align='left'>HENRY GENTLEMAN.'</td></tr> +</table> + + +<p>As for those really concerned, people tell me that the three implicated +in the dynamite business are all dead in America, and if the information +is accurate no local person was connected with the explosion, though the +miscreants were, of course, housed in the immediate vicinity.<a name="Page_246" id="Page_246" /></p> + +<p>There was one delicious incident.</p> + +<p>The local branch of the Land League at Castleisland refused to pay any +reward to the dynamiters because we had not been killed, and the leading +miscreant actually fired at the treasurer. Eventually the passages to +America of all the triumvirate were paid, and they thought it discreet +to quit the country, cursing their own stingy executive even more deeply +than they blasphemed against the Law and execrated me.</p> + +<p>A man from the neighbourhood subsequently wrote to me from London that +he could tell me who perpetrated the Edenburn outrage.</p> + +<p>I told him to call on me at the Union Club, of which I was then a +member, and informed him—his name was O'Brien—I would arrange with the +Home Office, in the event of his information being valuable, that he +should get a reward.</p> + +<p>He replied that his life was in danger in London from another Fenian.</p> + +<p>I went to the Home Office and saw Mr. Jenkinson on the subject. He asked +me to send O'Brien down to him and he would settle matters, adding that +he had reason for believing that the story of threats from another +scoundrel was true.</p> + +<p>I saw O'Brien and told him to call on Mr. Jenkinson.</p> + +<p>He answered that he would go, but he never did, and Mr. Jenkinson +subsequently told me that the Land League scented he was going to prove +a troublesome informer, so they practically outbid the Government by +paying O'Brien a large sum, which was handed to him on the steamer as it +was starting for America.<a name="Page_247" id="Page_247" /></p> + +<p>From that time, until I have been recalling the incidents of the +explosion for this book, I have never given a thought to the affair and +not mentioned it half a dozen times in the twenty years that have +elapsed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXI" id="CHAPTER_XXI" />CHAPTER XXI<a name="Page_248" id="Page_248" /></h2> + +<h4>MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES</h4> + + +<p>I brought my family back to Kerry in the following summer, and after I +had rebuilt Edenburn I lived there until I gave it to my elder son, who +has it to this day and resides there in peace.</p> + +<p>Matters were very different to that state of idyllic simplicity in the +critical times on which I am still dwelling.</p> + +<p>One night, while in London, I was at the House of Commons, and the +London correspondent of the <i>Freeman</i>, being presumably extremely short +of what he would term 'copy,' he proceeded to make observations about me +after this fashion:—</p> + +<p>'Over here Mr. Hussey is something of a fish out of water. It would be +hazardous to say that if he was to begin his career as an agent again he +would eschew the system that has made him famous, but his present frame +of mind is unquestionably one of doubt as to whether, after all, the +game was worth the candle.'</p> + +<p>That young man will go far as a writer of fiction.</p> + +<p>I received, among more pleasant welcomes on my return to my native land, +the following delightful blast of vituperation from the <i>Irish Citizen</i>, +and beg to tender the unknown author my profound thanks for the +diversion his ink-slinging afforded me:—</p> + +<p>'Here is something about a man who ought to have been murdered any day +since 1879—indeed we don't know that he should have been let live even +up to that date, and as for his family, their translation to the upper +regions by means of a simple charge of dynamite, which nobody of any +sense or importance would even think of condemning, has been most +unaccountably deferred to the present year. This man is Mr. S.M. Hussey, +the miasma of whose breath, according to a well-informed murder organ in +Dublin, poisons one-half of the kingdom of Kerry. Let any man read the +speeches delivered in Upper Sackville Street, and the articles in +<i>United Ireland</i> against Mr. Hussey, and he must ask why the fiend +incarnate has not been murdered long since. The infamy of persistently +turning hatred on a man like Mr. Hussey, and then escaping the +consequences of having thereby murdered him, has no parallel in any +country in the world. Inciting to murder is practically reduced to a +science in Ireland. That Mr. Hussey has not been murdered years ago is +not the fault of the scientist, but the watchfulness of the police.'<a name="Page_249" id="Page_249" /></p> + +<p>My experience while in England had been that few people I met really +appreciated what boycotting was like, so how are my readers of twenty +years afterwards to do so? Yet when I went back to Ireland, it seemed to +me even more cruel than when I had grown comparatively accustomed by +sheer proximity to it.</p> + +<p>Mr. Parnell had himself given the order in a public speech:—</p> + +<p>'Shun the man who bids for a farm from which a tenant has been evicted, +shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.'</p> + +<p>This was done with the thoroughness which characterises Irishmen when +back-sliding into unimaginable cruelties. Should a boycotted man enter +chapel, the whole congregation rose as with one accord and left him +alone in the building. Considering the sensitive and pious disposition +of the average Irishman, such ostracism was even more poignant than it +would be to an Englishman.<a name="Page_250" id="Page_250" /></p> + +<p>Only two families in Kerry, possibly in Munster, at Christmas 1885, had +the courage to resist the National League police, commonly called +moonlighters. These two were the Curtins and the Doyles. The Curtins had +to be under constant police protection, were insulted wherever they +went, and their murdered father was openly called 'the murderer.' As for +the Doyles, the Board of Guardians was urged to harass his unfortunate +children, who were both deaf and dumb.</p> + +<p>The same Board of Guardians was most lavish in its relief to any man +evicted for declining to pay his rent. In one case they gave a man +fifteen shillings a week—or treble the ordinary out-of-door relief—for +over six years.</p> + +<p>Sir James Stephen, a man of acute discriminations, who has done more +justice to the Irish problem than any one else, wrote:—</p> + +<p>'The great difficulty the Land League and the National League have had +to contend with is that of hindering the neighbouring farmers, peasants, +and labourers from frustrating the strike against rent by taking up +vacant farms, however they came to be vacant. Boycotting never succeeded +unless crime was at its back. The Crimes Act cut the ground from under +the feet of the boycotters, not so much by its direct prohibitions of +the practice as by making it unsafe to commit outrages in enforcing the +law of the League. The Land League and the National League were nothing +else but screens for secret societies whose work was to enforce the +League decrees by outrage and murder.'<a name="Page_251" id="Page_251" /></p> + +<p>Whenever the 'History of Modern Ireland' comes to be written, that +glowing outburst of truth ought to be quoted.</p> + +<p>There were some evictions carried out at Farranfore on the estate of +Lord Kenmare, by the sub-sheriff, Mr. Harnett, and a force of military +and police numbering about one hundred and thirty.</p> + +<p>During the eviction of one Daly, horns were blown and the chapel bell +set ringing. These appeals drew about three thousand people to the +place, who groaned and threw some stones, besides growing so menacing +that the Riot Act had to be read, upon which the whole crowd moved off.</p> + +<p>This brought a characteristic effusion from <i>United Ireland</i>:—</p> + +<p>'We remember the time when Kerry was a county as quiet as the grave, +when its member, Henry A. Herbert, in the debate on the Westminster Act +of 1871, was able to rise in his place and boast that in purely Celtic +counties like his there was no crime, and that agrarian outrages was +confined to districts infused with English blood, like Meath and +Tipperary. What has changed it? Principally the malpractices of a couple +of agents ruling over half its area, whose bloated rentals grow swollen +under their hands with the sweat of dumb and hopeless possessors.'</p> + +<p>Whatever else he possessed, that writer had not one vestige of truth +with which to cover the indecency of his misrepresentations.</p> + +<p>He did not mention that Mr. Matthew Harris, a Member for Galway, had +publicly observed that if the tenant farmers of Ireland shot down +landlords as partridges are shot in the month of September, he would +never say a word against them.<a name="Page_252" id="Page_252" /></p> + +<p>It is a fact that the convulsion of horror at the murder of Lord +Frederick Cavendish alone prevented an organised campaign for the +'removal' of Irish landlords on a systematic and wholesale scale.</p> + +<p>By the way, according to his son, it was quite by chance that Professor +Mahaffy—that illustrious ornament of Trinity College—was not also +murdered. He had intended to walk over with poor Mr. Burke after the +entry of the Viceroy and Chief Secretary, but he was detained by an +undergraduate and so found it too late to catch the doomed victim before +he started. Had he walked with them, it is questionable if the murderers +would have attacked three men: on the other hand, he might, of course, +have been added to the slain.</p> + +<p>There was a meeting of Lord Kenmare's and Mr. Herbert of Muckross's +tenants at Killarney addressed by Mr. Sheehan, M.P., who advised them, +as the landlords refused 70 per cent, only to offer 50 per cent., and +nothing at all in March (1887), as by that time the new Irish Parliament +would have allotted the land free to the present holders, without any +compensation to the landlords.</p> + +<p>Despite the efforts of traitors on both sides of the Channel, that Irish +Parliament has not yet been summoned.</p> + +<p>The parish priest, Mr. Sheehy, stopped the Limerick hunting, and so took +£24,000 a year out of the pockets of the very poor. That man did more +harm than the landlords, who alone gave the poor work, and there is no +doubt that many of the worst crimes were instigated and indirectly +suggested from the altar.</p> + +<p>At this point I want to interpose with one word to the reader to beg him +not to regard this as either a connected narrative of crime, much less a +regular essay with proper deductions—the trimmings to the joint—but +only a series of observations as I recall events which impressed me, and +which I think may come home with some force to a happier generation that +knew neither Parnellism nor crime. To write a consecutive and connected +history of these atrocities would be to compile a volume of horrors. I +prefer to give a few recollections of outrages, and to let the direct +simplicity of these terrible reminiscences impress those who have bowels +of compassion.<a name="Page_253" id="Page_253" /></p> + +<p>A gentleman named Nield was killed in Mayo, simply because he was +mistaken for my son Maurice. This was in broad daylight, in the town of +Charlestown. It was raining hard at the time—a thing so common in +Ireland that no one mentions it any more than they do the fact of the +daily paper appearing each morning—and the unfortunate victim had an +umbrella up, so the mob could not see his face. They shouted, 'Here's +Hussey,' and tried to pull him off the car, but the parish priest +stopped this. However, before he could reduce the villains to the fear +of the Church, which does affect them more than the fear of the Law, +they gave poor Nield a blow on the head, and, though he lived for six +months, he never recovered.</p> + +<p>Another time, when returning to his house in Mayo from Ballyhaunis, on a +dark night, my son Maurice found a wall built, about eighteen inches +high, across the road, for the express purpose of upsetting him. It was +only by the grace of God—as they say in Kerry—and his own careful +driving, that he was preserved.</p> + +<p>In those same Land League times, my son was a prominent gentleman rider. +At Abbeyfeale races he rode in a green jacket and won the race, which +produced a lot of enthusiasm, the crowd not knowing who it was sporting +the popular colour. They only heard it was my son after he had left the +course, whereupon a mob rushed to the station, and the police had to +stand four deep outside the carriage window to protect him, to say +nothing of an extra guard at the station gates.<a name="Page_254" id="Page_254" /></p> + +<p>The cordiality of my fellow-countrymen also provided me with another +disturbed night at Aghadoe, which I had leased from Lord Headley.</p> + +<p>To quiet the apprehensions of my family, and also to relieve the mind of +the D.I. from anxiety about my tough old self, there were always five +police in the house, and two on sentry duty all night.</p> + +<p>On this particular date, about two o'clock in the morning, we were +aroused by hearing shots fired in the wood below the house, the plan of +the miscreants being to draw the police away from the house. As this did +not succeed, a second party began a counter demonstration in another +quarter. The theory is that a third party wanted to approach the house +from the back in the temporary absence of the constabulary, and +disseminate the house, its contents, and the inhabitants into the air +and the immediate vicinity by the gentle and persuasive influence of +dynamite.</p> + +<p>However, the police were not to be tricked, and soon the fellows, having +grown apprehensive, or having exhausted all their ammunition, were heard +driving <i>off</i>. Signs of blood were found on the road towards Beaufort +next morning, so the attacking force suffered some inconvenience in +return for giving us a bad night.</p> + +<p>Lord Morris, among a group of acquaintances in Dublin, pointing to me, +said:—</p> + +<p>'That's the Jack Snipe who provided winter shooting for the whole of +Kerry, and not one of them could wing him.'<a name="Page_255" id="Page_255" /></p> + +<p>'Mighty poor sport they got out of it,' I answered, 'and I have an even +worse opinion of their capacity for accurate aiming than I have of their +benevolent intentions.'</p> + +<p>Other people know more of oneself than one does, and I was much +interested to hear that, in this year of grace, the editor of the <i>Daily +Telegraph</i> said of me:—</p> + +<p>'Sam Hussey, yes, that's the famous Irishman they used to call +"Woodcock" Hussey, because he was never hit, though often shot at.'</p> + +<p>I always thought 'Woodcock' Carden had the monopoly of the epithet, but +am proud to find I infringed his patent.</p> + +<p>I was benevolently commended by a vituperative ink-slinger, Daniel +O'Shea, in his letter to the <i>Sunday Democrat</i> in 1886, but none of +those he blackguarded were in the least inconvenienced by 'the roll of +his tongue,' as the saying is:—</p> + +<p>'A vast number of the Irish have been heartlessly persecuted by the most +despotic landlords of Ireland, such as Lord Kenmare, Herbert, Headley, +Hussey, Winn, and the Marquis of Lansdowne, all of whom are Englishmen +by birth, and consequently aliens in heart, despots by instinct, +absentees by inclination, and always in direct opposition to the cause +of Ireland. Poor-rate, town-rate, income-tax, are nothing less than +wholesale robbery, and is it any wonder that some of the people who are +thus oppressed should be driven to desperation? It is deplorable to +learn that they should have had any cause to commit what are called +"agrarian" crimes. Why not turn their attention to these landlords, the +police, the travelling coercion magistrates, not forgetting the +emergency men? These are the people to whom I would direct the attention +of the men of Kerry.'</p> + +<p>I have given a number of examples of how I have been genially +appreciated in the hostile Press, but my family are of opinion that it +would not be fair, considering how many kind things were published in +loyal journals, not to render some tribute to them too. I was sincerely +obliged when I received a good word, but, frankly, the bad ones amused +me much more. However, I am not ungrateful, and I have specially prized +one able description of my attitude which appeared in the <i>Globe</i>, the +manly strain of the writing of which is in healthy contrast to the +hysterical effusions tainted with adjectival mania of those who wanted +me shot, but were too cowardly to fire at me themselves:—<a name="Page_256" id="Page_256" /></p> + +<p>'Mr. Hussey is admittedly fair and just in his dealings with his own +tenants. But he is only just and fair, which, in the ethics of Irish +agrarianism, is equivalent to being a rack-renter and a tyrant. He +refuses to let his own land at whatever the tenants think well to pay +for it. He persists, with exasperating obstinacy, in refusing to +sacrifice the interests of the landlords for whom he acts. In short, Mr. +Hussey is one of the most determined and formidable obstacles to the +success of the Land League. While such men have the courage to face the +agrarian conspiracy, that grand consummation of patriotic effort—the +rooting out of landlordism—must be a somewhat tough and tedious +business. He has lived in the midst of enemies, who would have murdered +him if only they had the opportunity. His life, it may be safely said, +has had no stronger security than his own ability to protect it.'</p> + +<p>And yet some one ventured to call Irish land agents 'popularity-hunting +scoundrels.'</p> + +<p>'Popularity and getting in money were never on the same bush,' as I told +Lord Kenmare, and if I had stopped to think how I should make myself +popular, I should have bothered my head about what I did not care +twopence for, and provided an even more easy target for firing at at +short range.<a name="Page_257" id="Page_257" /></p> + +<p>Drifting from a man who paid no heed to scoundrels, I am led to allude +to the attitude of a profession, the members of which profited by their +amenities—I, of course, mean solicitors—because some one put a +question to me on the subject only the other day.</p> + +<p>My answer is, that none of the solicitors were in the Land League, and +they did not instigate outrages; but they drew comfortable fees for +defending the perpetrators.</p> + +<p>Swindlers and murderers never agree, for they practise distinct +professions.</p> + +<p>We were fighting a Land War, and though I have kept back land questions +as much as I can, in order not to weary the reader with what never +wearies me, I have one or two examples to give which cannot be omitted +if I am to portray the true facts.</p> + +<p>My firm was agent for an estate in Castleisland, the rent of which, in +1841, was £2300. I exhibited the rental, showing only three quarters in +arrear. By 1886 it was cut down by the Commissioners to £ 1800, and the +landlord sold it for £30,000, for which the tenants used to pay four per +cent, for forty-nine years, to cover principal and interest.</p> + +<p>There was a tenant on that estate named Dennis Coffey. He took a farm at +£105 a year; the Commissioners reduced that rent to £80. He purchased it +for £1440—eighteen years' purchase, for which his son has £42 a year +for forty-nine years. The father had purchased a farm for fee-simple of +equal value for £3000, which he left to two others of his sons. So that +one son, by paying half what he had covenanted to pay, and which he +could pay, gets a farm equal in value to what his father paid £3000 in +hard cash for. The man who is paying rent has his farm well stocked; the +others are paupers, and one died in the poorhouse.<a name="Page_258" id="Page_258" /></p> + +<p>That may belong to to-day, and not to the period of outrage with which I +have been dealing; but it duly points the moral, and is the outcome of +those times.</p> + +<p>At the Boyle Board of Guardians in 1887, upon a discussion over the +Kilronan threatened evictions, Mr. Stuart said:—</p> + +<p>'There was one of these men arrested by the police. His rent was £4, +12s. 6d., and, when arrested, a deposit-receipt for £220 was found in +his pocket.'</p> + +<p>This case had been freely cited at home and in America as a typical +instance of the ruthless tyranny of Irish landlords.</p> + +<p>My friend and neighbour, Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, addressed the +following letter to Mr. W.E. Gladstone, then Prime Minister:—<br /><br /></p> + +<p>'Sir—I beg respectfully to call your attention to the following +statement. In 1866, Judge Longfield conveyed to my uncle, under what was +called an indefeasible title, the lands of Inch East, Ardroe and Inch +Island, and previous to the sale, Judge Longfield caused them to be +valued by Messrs. Gadstone and Ellis, and in the face of the rental, he +certified that the fair letting value of Inch East and Ardroe was £230, +and that the fair letting value of Inch Island was £75, now in hand. On +the strength of will, my uncle purchased the lands valued at £305 for +£6200, and your sub-Commissioners have just reduced the rental of Inch +East and Ardroe at the rate of from £230 to £170 a year.</p> + +<p>I therefore request you will be pleased to take some steps to recoup me +for the £60 a year I have lost by the action of the Government, and I +may say this can be partially done by abandoning the quit rent and tithe +rent charge, amounting to £34, 5s. 4d., which I am now forced by the +Government to pay without any reduction.<a name="Page_259" id="Page_259" /></p> + +<p>A. BLENNERHASSETT.'</p> + +<p>The Right Honourable W.E. Gladstone.<br /><br /></p> + + +<p>The oracle of Hawarden was as dumb to this as to my effusion to a +similar purport already mentioned. Not even the proverbial postcard was +sent to Tralee, so the verbosity of Mr. Gladstone was strangely checked +when he found himself pinned down to facts by Irish landlords.</p> + +<p>Whilst landlords and their families were literally starving, and agents +were collecting what they could at the peril of their lives, the real +land-grabbers, the no-renters, were accumulating money, and investing it +in land.</p> + +<p>I sent the following series of sales to the <i>Times</i> to show the real +value of land:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(1) The interest on Lord Granard's estate, the valuation of which was five guineas, was sold for £280, and the fee-simple subsequently +bought for £80.</span><br /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(2) On one of his own farms for which the tenant paid £65 annual rent, the tenant's interest fetched £750 and auction fees.</span><br /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(3) A farm at Curraghila, near Tralee, annual rent £70, Poor Law +valuation, £51, 10s., area stat. 73 acres. The tenant's interest was +sold for £700.</span><br /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(4) Tenant's interest on a farm in County Tipperary, on Lord +Normanton's estate, at yearly rent of £30, was sold for £600, and the +fee-simple purchased for £450.</span><br /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(5) Tenant's interest at Breaing, near Castleisland, held at the +annual rent of £51, 10s., was sold for £550.</span><br /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(6) At Abbeyfeale, County Kerry, tenant of a small farm, at annual +rent of twenty-four shillings, sold his interest for £55.</span><br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>All the sales, save the Tipperary one, were in a district in which, +prior to the Land Act of 1881, tenant-right was unknown.<a name="Page_260" id="Page_260" /></p> + +<p>Poetry is always congenial to an Irishman, probably because it has +licences almost as great as he likes to take, and has a vague, +irresponsible way of putting things, much akin to his own methods.</p> + +<p>Here are some lines from the 'Irish Tenant's Song' which express a good +deal of the popular emotion:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Oh, Parnell, dear, and did you hear the news that's going round?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The landlords are forbid by law to live on Irish ground.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">No more their rent-days they may keep, nor agents harsh distrain,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The widow need no longer weep, for over is their reign.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I met with mighty Gladstone, and he took me by the hand,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And he said, 'Hurrah for Ireland! 'tis now the happy land.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'Tis a most delightful country that I for you have made—You</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">may shoot the landlord through the head who asks that rent be paid.'</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">We care not for the agent, nor do we care for those</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who come upon us to distrain—we pay them back in blows.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And when hopeless, helpless, ruined, these landlords vile shall roam,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">We'll hunt and hound them from the roofs they've held so long as home.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>I don't say that was sung in Castleisland, but it might have been the +local hymn and verbal companion to the brutal misdeeds of the benighted +inhabitants.</p> + +<p>As if matters were not bad enough, that Apostle of outrage Mr. Michael +Davitt came to Castleisland on February 21, 1886, and in a pestilential +speech, inciting to crime, he showed that, at all events, he appreciated +that for sheer blackness and turpitude Kerry was bad to beat. He said:—</p> + +<p>'For some time past Kerry has attracted more attention for the +occurrences which have been taking place here, than the whole remainder +of Ireland put together. I am not without hope that henceforth, until +the battle with landlordism and Dublin Castle is triumphantly over, the +people of Kerry will be towers of strength to the national cause. The +hope of Irish landlordism is now centred in Kerry. Elsewhere it has +none, it is a social rinderpest, since the National League was started +1600 families have been turned out in this one county.'<a name="Page_261" id="Page_261" /></p> + +<p>Captain M'Calmont in the House of Commons, three weeks afterwards, +called attention to Mr. Baron Dowse's address to the Grand Jury of the +County of Kerry in which he stated:—</p> + +<p>'That this county is in a very much worse state than it has been for +years: that there are no less than three hundred offences specially +reported to the constabulary since the Assizes of 1885, consisting of +two cases of murder, eighteen cases of letters threatening to murder, +thirty-nine cases of cattle, horse, and sheep stealing, eleven cases of +arson, eighteen cases of maiming cattle, fifty-two cases of seizing +arms, seventy-four cases of sending threatening letters, and twenty-four +cases of intimidation.'</p> + +<p>You will observe that this is the same picture from two different points +of view.</p> + +<p>Almost the worst case in which I was personally interested, was that of +the Cruickshank family.</p> + +<p>The father, an industrious, respectable, elderly Scotsman, supported his +family at Inch by the proceeds of a rabbit-warren which he rented. He +had no farm, and therefore might expect to live in peace, even in Kerry, +in those times; but, as he was a Scotch Protestant, and had arms, he was +a marked man.</p> + +<p>Having been threatened, he was partially guarded by the police who +patrolled the district. However, in April 1885, when the Prince of Wales +visited Ireland, and the constabulary from country districts were +drafted into the towns through which he had to pass, a number of +disguised Nationalists entered Cruickshank's house at night. They gave +him a frightful beating, even breaking a gun on his head, which was +seriously injured. This was done in the presence of his wife and +daughters, and of a young son who, with one of his sisters, went off in +the night to a police station four miles distant, to obtain assistance +for his father.<a name="Page_262" id="Page_262" /></p> + +<p>Between the fight and the chill received that night, the boy fell into a +decline of which he died in May 1886. One daughter, not strong at the +time of the outrage, became a chronic invalid. The father, as soon as he +was able to move after the perpetration, applied for compensation under +the Crimes Act, but as it was then to expire in about a fortnight, the +Lord-Lieutenant refused to consider the case. The poor fellow continued +to suffer from the wounds on his head, and so affected was he by the +shock of his son's death, that he became insensible and only survived +him a few weeks, leaving his widow and three daughters without any means +of support.</p> + +<p>My wife and the former Archdeacon of Ardfert appealed for subscriptions +and obtained £120, which enabled the unfortunate survivors to return to +Scotland.</p> + +<p>That was the settlement of the land question that suited the +Nationalists, namely, to cause the death of the head of the family, and +to get the rest out of the country. It did not say much for the +civilisation of the nineteenth century, but after the brutalities of the +spring of 1871 in Paris, there can be no doubt how thin is the veneer +over the barbarity of even the most civilised; those deeds were +perpetrated in the heart of the European capital specially devoted to +amusement: what I describe took place in the most distant portion of +Europe, where Nature is lovely and man, alas, the creature of impulse, +the prey of those who lead him into the worst temptations.<a name="Page_263" id="Page_263" /></p> + +<p>Another settlement was suggested by an anonymous writer who concealed +his identity under the pseudonym of Saxon. He observed:—</p> + +<p>'Two hundred millions of English money are now (1886) to be spent buying +out Irish landlords, but would it not be surely better and more in +accordance with reason and justice to buy out the tenants? At a very low +calculation, two hundred millions would put a couple of hundred pounds +in every Irishman's pocket, and there is not one of them that would +refuse to leave his beloved country, and bless America or Australia on +these terms. The island could be populated with Scotch and English +settlers, and our difficulties be at an end. The Irish must not have +their own loaf and ours too. I commend this scheme to Messrs. Gladstone +and Morley. It is quite as just, quite as reasonable, and more forcible +than their own.'</p> + +<p>Hear, hear! say I, but our grandchildren's grandchildren when grey old +men will still be trying to settle the Irish question, which can never +be settled until there arises a big man strong enough to force his will +on the Empire and fortunate enough to be able to hand over the reins of +political dictatorship to an equally enlightened and powerful successor.</p> + +<p>It is hopeless to expect Irish matters to go well, when the balance of +parties in the House of Commons is held by hirelings and traitors, men +who debase patriotism and would to-day encourage outrage as much as they +did in 1884, if it was worth their mercenary while.</p> + +<p>I had a word to write myself a year later to Mr. T. Harrington, who +thought he could tell as many lies about me as suited his own purpose, +and I addressed my reply, published on August 29, 1887, to the Editor of +the <i>Times</i>. It ran as follows:—<a name="Page_264" id="Page_264" /><br /><br /></p> + +<p>'Sir—I have just read the speech of Mr. T. Harrington in the debate on +Mr. Gladstone's motive relating to the proclamation of the National +League, in which he states that I invented and gave to Mr. Balfour the +particulars of the boycotting of Justin M'Carthy. I beg you will allow +me to state that I never wrote to Mr. Balfour, or to any member of the +Government, on that or any subject. Had I supplied the information, I +would have mentioned some facts which Mr. Balfour omitted, for instance, +that a man named Andrew Griffin was nearly murdered because he brought +provisions to Justin M'Carthy, that four men were put on their trial for +the outrage, but notwithstanding a plain charge from the judge, the +jury, fearing the vengeance of the League, acquitted the prisoners. I +would also mention a fact that would seem almost incredible to your +English Catholic readers, that the old man cannot attend his place of +worship without being hissed at in the church, and that his aged wife, +while partaking of the sacrament of the Holy Communion, was hissed at +and jeered. These things can be proved on oath, and are not to be set +aside by frothy declamation. Neither can the fact be disproved that one +of the offences for which Justin M'Carthy has suffered was that he +purchased his farm from me under Lord Ashbourne's Act, a proceeding +which (as it is likely to settle down the country) is considered a +deadly crime; and for committing the same offence another man in the +same barony had his cows stabbed.</p> + +<p>Your obedient servant, S.M. HUSSEY.'<br /><br /></p> + +<p>There is yet another case I cannot forbear from handing on to a +generation that knows no outrages nearer home than Macedonia. Six +ruffians, having their faces covered with handkerchiefs, and armed with +heavy cudgels, entered the house of a farmer named Lambe and began to +beat him. To save his head from the blows, he ran the upper part of his +body up the chimney and held on by the cross-bar. His wife, on coming to +his assistance, was beaten so severely that her skull was fractured, +while an aged female—stated to be in her ninety-seventh year—was not +only roughly handled, but also beaten. A most discreditable episode +indeed, in a land formerly renowned for respect for womanhood, and for +the warm-hearted generosity of her sons.<a name="Page_265" id="Page_265" /></p> + +<p>In only one instance in Kerry was police protection being regarded as +necessary up to the present summer, and all who know the contemporary +condition of affairs will at once recollect that Mrs. Morrogh Bernard is +the lady in question.</p> + +<p>The late Mr. Edward Morrogh Bernard of Fahagh Court, Bullybrack, was a +Roman Catholic, who had resided in Kerry all his life, and some +five-and-twenty years ago he built on his property the residence in +which he died in the spring of 1904. He and his wife, an English lady, +who was justly beloved for her wide charity, were one night, after +dinner, sitting in their drawing-room, when a party of masked +moonlighters walked in. One of them held a pistol to her head, and told +her not to scream or move, else he would shoot her. Another performed +the same kindly office for Mr. Bernard, whilst the rest ransacked the +house for arms and money.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Bernard noticed that the hands of the man who was threatening her +with violence were not those of an agricultural labourer, because they +were small and white. On the strength of this clue, the police arrested +a little tailor in the village, and she courageously identified him in +court, though every possible pressure was brought on her not to do so. +He was sentenced to several years' imprisonment, and his friends vowed +they would make it hot for Mrs. Bernard, and ever after she has been +protected by two or three constables. The police did not live in Fahagh +Court, but in a hut specially built for them a few yards off, and at +night they always came into the house. To the very last days of Mr. +Bernard's life whenever he and she went to pay a call on a neighbour, +two policemen followed them either on a car or on bicycles, and I have +never heard any reasons advanced to show that these precautions were +superfluous.<a name="Page_266" id="Page_266" /></p> + +<p>Meeting this little party on the highway was the only thing in the +twentieth century which brought home to the British tourist the terrible +deeds which blackened Kerry in the eighties.</p> + +<p>I have always looked on the light side of life, even when it has seemed +blackest, and so I will not close this chapter without a more cheery +anecdote.</p> + +<p>There was a good deal of friction among Land Leaguers over the amount of +relief money and other remuneration doled out by the rebel authorities. +This seldom reached a more droll pitch than in the complaint of a girl +at Rossbeigh, who wrote to a prominent member of Parliament—since +deceased—that another girl had been awarded a pound for booing at a +sergeant, 'while I, who broke a policeman's head, never got so much as +would pay for a candle to the Blessed Virgin.'</p> + +<p>Sometimes the crafty Paddy utilised the agitation for his own purposes, +as the following example will prove.</p> + +<p>A farmer's house was fired into, but no one could tell the reason why, +for he had not paid any rent and was a good Land Leaguer. He was asked +if he could account for it himself, and after some shuffling under +promise of strict secrecy, made the following revelation.<a name="Page_267" id="Page_267" /></p> + +<p>'Well, it was this way, I married a dacent girl from the North, and all +went well with us until her mother came along, and she had the divil's +own tongue, and nothing could get her out of the house. I would say "the +North has fine air, would not a change back there get you your health?"</p> + +<p>'To which the old Biddy would reply:—</p> + +<p>'"Where would I live except with my only daughter and her husband?"</p> + +<p>'And this sort of thing made me desperate, and I promised the "bhoys" +five shillings if they would fire round the house on a certain night. On +the evening that had been agreed upon, I began reading on the paper how +farms in Castleisland were being fired into, and the old woman said that +if these things were so, County Kerry was worse than County Cork, and I +thought to myself "maybe you'll find it so, you ould divil."</p> + +<p>'Well, they came and did their work in grand style after we had gone to +bed, and there was the mother-in-law screeching and bawling, and every +hour too long for her until daylight, when I put her in the cart and +drove her to the station.'</p> + +<p>The sequel is that the couple left to themselves lived happily ever +after, a thing more likely to happen to people in England and Ireland, +if it was no one's business to make bad blood between them.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXII" id="CHAPTER_XXII" />CHAPTER XXII<a name="Page_268" id="Page_268" /></h2> + +<h4>COMMISSIONS</h4> + + +<p>I have probably given evidence to as many Commissions as any living man, +for I have been before seven, and never once was asked a question that +posed me.</p> + +<p>I enjoyed the experience of being asked about what I knew by those who +knew nothing on the subject, and if the legal mind was a little more +obtuse than the civil, well, it was only the choice between a grey +donkey and a black.</p> + +<p>The earliest Commission I gave evidence before was one on Agriculture. +Professor Bohnamy Price was one of the Commissioners, and he knew what +he was talking about, others being Lord Carlingford, the Duke of +Buccleuch, and the Duke of Richmond and Gordon, who presided. The peers +were all used to big parks, obsequious bailiffs, and huge demesnes. I +think they metaphorically picked up their coat tails and stepped +carefully away from the Irish potato patches and acres of turf.</p> + +<p>It was alleged that prosperity of nations was a good deal owing to +tenant-right.</p> + +<p>'I do not think so,' said I, 'because Donegal and Kerry have +approximately the same value and area, same number of miles of road and +sea frontage. There is extreme tenant-right in Donegal and none in +Kerry, yet the prosperity of the farmers in Kerry is extremely superior +to those of Donegal.'</p> + +<p>'There is too much tenant-right in Donegal,' said Mr. Chichester +Fortescue, who was examining me.<a name="Page_269" id="Page_269" /></p> + +<p>'Not if it is a good thing,' I replied, 'for then you could not have too +much.'</p> + +<p>Mr. Shaw Lefevre's Commission on the housing of the working classes in +Ireland was very uninteresting. 'Oxen are stalled, pigs are styed or +take possession of the cabin, but what is done for the Irish labourers?' +asked a passionate mob-orator, and in many cases it might have been +answered that a good deal more has been done for them than the idle +ruffians deserve. I had no difficulty in showing that landlords were +always willing to give assistance in housing labourers, and when an +ex-mayor of Cork on the Commission seemed to doubt my assertions, I +might have retorted that though he was used to factory hands, yet he had +never bothered himself how they lived out of work time.</p> + +<p>The Duke of Devonshire was on this board. He has obtained his great and +honourable reputation by conscientiously slumbering through many duties. +His tastes are for racing and shooting, but from sheer patriotism he has +devoted himself to politics with all the energy of his lethargic manner, +which successfully conceals abnormal common-sense. It was he, more than +any other man, who saved Ireland from Home Rule, though as an Irish +landlord he has not come much to the fore, because his vast English +estates are immeasurably more important than those situated round +Lismore. This picturesque town was once called the abode of saints, but +only antiquarians remember that its university was once so important +that Alfred the Great went there to study, and that in the old castle +Henry II held a Parliament. The Cavendishs rebuilt the latter, and both +in appearance and position it much resembles Warwick Castle. It has not +very many bedrooms, and when the King was first expected, among various +extensive alterations, a bathroom was put up. The Duke has generally +visited Lismore twice a year, and has never stood unduly on his dignity, +but been approachable by all, and reasonable about everything, which has +also been characteristic of his political views.<a name="Page_270" id="Page_270" /></p> + +<p>Lord Bessborough presided over a Commission on Irish Land Laws. He was a +very kind, very lean man, who was wont in old age to walk about London +wrapped in a black cape, and was idolised at Harrow, where twenty +generations of boys knew him and his brothers and valued their unabated +interest in school cricket. Baron Dowse, a judge I have already +mentioned, the O'Conor Don, and Mr. Shaw, were the members who put +questions to me. I remember the O'Conor Don was much impressed when I +mentioned I had made six tours in Scotland, and had been in Holland, in +Belgium, in France, in Germany, in Italy, and just before in Spain, to +inquire into the state of agriculture. I said that if a man persisted in +farming badly I would serve him with notice to quit even if he paid his +rent, and I pointed out that there were three hundred thousand occupiers +of land in Ireland whose holdings were under £8 Poor Law valuation, and +these occupiers, when their potatoes fail, have nothing to fall back +upon but relief work, starvation, or emigration, and I further laid +before the Commission a purchase scheme. There would be twenty years' +purchase-money to be lent by the State, two years' purchase to be found +by the tenant and two years more at the end of ten years. Thus the +landlord would get a price for his property that would induce him to +sell (reductions had not then been wholesale) and the tenant would get a +lease for ever with abolition of rent at the end of thirty-five years by +paying a fine of two years' rent down and two more at the end of ten +years.</p> + +<p>They would not have it. Who ever expected that Justice would lift the +bandage from her eyes for the sake of fair play to the landlord?<a name="Page_271" id="Page_271" /></p> + +<p>Lord Salisbury had a Commission on the working of the Land Act of 1881. +Lord Dunraven, Lord Pembroke, and Lord Cairns were on it, the latter +being chairman. He was so austere that, when he was made Lord +Chancellor, it was said he had swallowed the mace and could not digest +it. His law may have been profound, but it was never relieved by a gleam +of humour, and his ecclesiastical proclivities were of the lowest Church +type. For some time he nominated Tory bishops, and it was declared he +was so evangelical that he would have suggested any clergyman for a +vacant bishopric who promised to forego the ecclesiastical gaiters. His +horror of Anthony Trollope's novels was notorious, especially his +dislike of Mrs. Proudie and her attendant divines.</p> + +<p>I said the working of the Land Act was ruin to Irish landlords, and +cited a case. A Kerry gentleman had an estate of £1200 rent roll, with a +mortgage of £8000 which involved charges of £400 a year, a jointure +tithes and head rent took £400 more. The Commissioners by so cutting +down the rent by £400 made a clean sweep of what that landlord had to +live on. Fortunately, he had his mother's fortune of £40,000, which his +grandfather had wisely provided should not be invested in Irish lands, +having, in fact, established a contingency in case his grandson should +be dispossessed of the property he had held for generations, by a +Government truckling to blustering 'no-renters.'</p> + +<p>Before Lord Cowper's Commission on the same subject, I said much the +same thing over again and realised that Royal Commissions are most +valuable for the purpose of shelving pregnant topics. The only good +derived from these official inquiries is that the witnesses get their +expenses and the Government printers have a lucrative contract.<a name="Page_272" id="Page_272" /></p> + +<p>There is a story told of a witness who was being brought over to London +to give evidence.</p> + +<p>'Patrick,' said the priest, 'you'll be having to mind what you're saying +over there. Perjury won't help you no more than I can, my poor fellow.'</p> + +<p>'What happens if I get a bit wide of the truth then, father?'</p> + +<p>'You won't get your expenses, my son.'</p> + +<p>'Holy Mother, to think of that! I'll be so careful that I won't know how +many legs the blessed pig has that's round the cabin all day long.'</p> + +<p>Sir Edward Fry's Commission had none of the tinsel of big names nor the +tawdriness of aristocratic apathy. Sir Edward meant to find the truth, +and so did his colleagues—all practical men. What they did was to +strike against the hard rock of party government which was too adamant +to receive the evidence sown by these gardeners. Dr. Anthony Traill, who +was one of the Commissioners, has in this very year of grace been made +Provost of Trinity, and from what I saw of him I am certain he will be +the apostle of fair play between undergraduates and dons.</p> + +<p>I answered over five hundred questions and rammed home one or two +points. For instance, I expressed my disapproval of a system by which a +man who is a sub-Commissioner at the hearing on the first term may +become the Court valuer on the next.</p> + +<p>In valuation, it is wrong that men from the north should be sent to +value in the south, or <i>vice versâ</i>, and to prove that I cited the +example of my tenant, Anne Delane. Her rent was fixed first term in 1883 +for £34, 10s. In 1896, for second term, the sub-Commissioner fixed it at +£23, 10s., and on appeal it was raised to £25. Mr. O'Shaughnessy, who +was one of the sub-Commissioners on the first term, acted as a Court +valuer on the second. On the first time he allowed £103, 6s. 9d. for +drains and buildings, and on the second omitted it.<a name="Page_273" id="Page_273" /></p> + +<p>In the case of Hoffman, who held a farm at a rent of £30, I reduced it +to £20 in 1881. In 1896 he went into court, and the County Court judge +reduced it to £15, and on appeal he got it again reduced to £13.</p> + +<p>On land which came into my own hands after 1881, I was able to get rents +over 50 per cent. in excess of those fixed by the sub-Commissioners. In +the case of Patrick Quill, the farm on which the rent was cut down from +£20 to £16 was sold for £300 with a charge of £9 on it.</p> + +<p>In the case of Michael Callaghan, Colonel Hickson expended £300 and +Callaghan £100 on the farm, for which the rent was £70, and he sold his +interest for £700.</p> + +<p>This perpetual wrangling and litigation is ruinous, for every man is +farming down his land and letting it deteriorate as fast as he can; and +there is a most marked difference in the county between those who have +bought their land and those who are tenants. When a judicial rent was +fixed and a tenant came into Court for a second judicial rent, I think +the landlord should have been at liberty to stop him by tendering the +farmer twenty years' purchase; that would give him a reduction of 20 per +cent, and make him a proprietor in the course of time.</p> + +<p>In 1850 at Milltown Fair, yearlings were selling for 30s. apiece. The +same cattle now are selling for £5, and Kerry is a great stock-breeding +country.</p> + +<p>It is very hard to define a landlord, and you will hear of some being +landlords who do not get a shilling from their estates. Under these +circumstances they would be like the fox in Æsop's fable who had lost +his own tail.<a name="Page_274" id="Page_274" /></p> + +<p>To show how the Land Act works, on the Harenc estate I was offered +twenty-seven years' purchase before the Act for a holding, and at the +time of the Commission they offered me sixteen years' purchase on +two-thirds of the rent.</p> + +<p>One other Commission besides that of the <i>Times</i> remains to be +mentioned. Lord Balfour of Burleigh, a dour Scot with a lot of gumption +in his head, was chairman of one on Imperial <i>versus</i> local taxation. My +easy task was to show the excess of the latter in Kerry, which is the +highest taxed county in the three kingdoms.</p> + +<p>When a man thinks of the vast amount of information buried beyond all +probable excavation in the Blue Books of the last fifty years, he may +well break into Carlyle-like diatribes against the waste of the whole +thing—which is paid for out of the taxpayer's pocket.</p> + +<p>Alluding to all these Commissions reminds me that there were three Land +Commissioners—Mr. Bewlay, who was very deaf; Mr. FitzGerald, who was +rather hasty; and Mr. Wrench, who consistently absented himself to +attend the Congested Board.</p> + +<p>So they were respectively, though not respectfully, called, 'The judge +who could not hear, the judge who would not hear, and the judge who is +not here.' This was one of the witticisms of my clever friend, Mr. +Robert Martin—'Bally-hooley'-one of the very few men who can write a +good Irish song, and sing it well, into the bargain.</p> + +<p>I appeared in the witness-box in the case of O'Donnell <i>v.</i> the <i>Times</i>. +I suppose people buy newspapers to obtain information, or else to get a +pennyworth of lies to induce equanimity in bearing the income-tax, the +weather, and all other ills that an unnatural Government is responsible +for; and I further suppose a halfpenny paper has to condense its +inaccuracies, and serve them up in tabloid form for mental indigestion. +However, that is as it may be; anyhow, I had a hearty laugh at the +<i>Star</i>, which wrote:—<a name="Page_275" id="Page_275" /></p> + +<p>'A look round the Court again this morning brought the strange +impression which one now always feels on entering the Court. The space +is so comparatively small, but one feels as though it were all Ireland +in microcosm. You see representatives of every class in the terrible +conflict of war, of rival passions, hatred, and traditions. This man +with the large nose, the large and disfigured face, is Mr. Hussey, and +those scars that you see, and the distortion of the features, are +perchance marks left by some desperate and homicidal tenant avenging his +wrongs.'</p> + +<p>That 'perchance' is good, considering my riding misadventure in County +Cork, of which I gave an account earlier.</p> + +<p>As for the Parnell Commission, it was the outcome of superb patriotism +on the part of the <i>Times</i>. That great organ, in the spirit of purest +devotion to the best interests of England and Ireland, honestly +attempted to expose treachery, and to denounce treason. Hundreds of +columns of the valuable space at their daily disposal, as well as +thousands of pounds earned by the highest journalism of any country, +were freely lavished in this tremendous denunciation, known as +'Parnellism and Crime.' The crime of Pigott eventually saved Parnell and +his followers. But the last word on that has not yet been spoken. +Another pen than mine may, perchance before long, tell the whole truth +about that tragic episode, and explain what is still an unsolved riddle +in all dispassionate minds. Without challenging and exciting the +strongest racial prejudices, it will be impossible to lift the veil, and +I have no intention of affording even the slightest preliminary peep +behind the scenes of that dramatic affair. The wheels of God grind +slowly, and they ground exceeding small almost before the absurd +exultation of Nationalist relief over the Pigott episode had abated. It +is almost time to treat the whole affair from the historical point of +view, and then the idol of Home Rule will be pulverised. However, that +is another story in which I have no chapter to write.<a name="Page_276" id="Page_276" /></p> + +<p>My own share in the Parnell Commission was on November 29, 1888, on the +twenty-third day. I was examined by the Attorney-General, the present +Lord Chief Justice, and the most popular and most honourable of men. At +that very time, I have heard, he sang each Sunday in the surpliced choir +of a Kensington church, and I suppose he is the very best chairman of a +committee or of a public meeting of our own or any other time. A +Parnellite once said he had the unctuousness of a retired grocer, but +was contradicted by a more reverent English Radical, who said, 'No, he +has the unction of grace,' whereas, the truth is, he has the platform +manner with him always.</p> + +<p>I told the Court I had been a Kerry magistrate for the previous +thirty-seven years, and, after deposing to the earlier state of my +property, I insisted that moonlighting and 'land-grabbing' were unknown +terms before 1880. My examination under the Attorney-General was, in +fact, too practical and useful to provide amusement for latter day +readers.</p> + +<p>My cross-examination was begun by Sir Charles Russell, who led off with +a sneer about my being the most popular man in the county, and, when I +adhered to other statements, he added, 'Well, a very popular man. I will +not put you on too high a pinnacle.' (Laughter.) Then for an hour and a +half he plied me with the best balanced statistical questions I ever +heard put in a hostile spirit, and without a note I could answer every +one. After considerable hesitation I admitted on consideration that +there was in Kerry one farmer benefiting by the Act of 1870. I have +never heard since that he was caught and exhibited as the solitary +outward and visible sign of the inward and legal benefit of the +legislative force of Imperial Parliament.<a name="Page_277" id="Page_277" /></p> + +<p>Mr. Lockwood, to whom, as artist, I had been serving as a model, +evidently preferred to handle me with pencil rather than with questions, +for he was almost as brief as Mr. Reid. It is my view that they both had +consigned me to petrification under Sir Charles Russell, and finding me +alive and kicking, thought me too tough to expire under such <i>coups de +grace</i> as they could inflict.</p> + +<p>We came to banter when Mr. Michael Davitt suggested that the young men +of Castleisland took part in nocturnal raids because there was no such +social inducement to keep them quiet, as a music-hall or a theatre; but +I told him there ought to have been no inducement to them to shoot their +neighbours, and that Castleisland was past redemption.</p> + +<p>He blandly alluded to my popularity with the tenants before 1880; but I +only said that I got on fairly well with them, for I do not think that +any agent was ever really popular.</p> + +<p>'Relatively?' insidiously.</p> + +<p>'Yes.'</p> + +<p>Then came this curious question, put with a gentleness that would have +aroused the suspicion of a babe:—</p> + +<p>'Did you ever say, in reply to a question put to you by Mr. Townsend +Trench as to why you were not shot, that you had told the tenants that +if anything happened to you he would succeed you as agent?'<a name="Page_278" id="Page_278" /></p> + +<p>'Yes, I did say so; but it is not original, because it is what Charles +II. said to James II.'</p> + +<p>This historic reference, which elicited laughter in Court, did not seem +intelligible to my questioner, but some better informed person probably +soon quoted it to him:—</p> + +<p>'Depend on it, brother James, they will never shoot me to make you +king.'</p> + +<p>From the kid-glove amenities of Mr. Davitt to the aggressive harshness +of Mr. Biggar was a sharp contrast. He heckled me vigorously, and I +retorted to him pretty hotly. A great deal had been expected of this +cross-examination, but the general opinion was that I gave rather better +than I received. Coolness is the despair of cross-examiners, and I think +mine made more impression on the Court than the impulsiveness of a dozen +inaccurate Nationalists.</p> + +<p>Mr. Biggar asked:—</p> + +<p>'You said you were popular in the district up to 1880?'</p> + +<p>I retorted with emphasis:—</p> + +<p>'I never had a serious threat until you mentioned my name in +Castleisland, and then people told me, 'Get police protection at once, +or you will be shot!'</p> + +<p>That made the Court laugh. Mr. Biggar did not appreciate the humour. He +returned to the charge viciously:—</p> + +<p>'Did not some of your sympathisers light a bonfire in 1878 at +Castleisland on account of the triumphs of your buying the Harenc +estate? and did not the population of Castleisland, who knew your +character, scatter that bonfire, and put it out?'</p> + +<p>'I heard they had a row over it. There were nine bonfires lighted in +Kerry after I succeeded. I was fairly popular until you held up my name +as a subject for murder in Castleisland. You said Hussey might be a very +bad man, but you would take care of one thing—that if any person was +charged with shooting him, or any other agent, they would be defended, +which meant they would be paid.'<a name="Page_279" id="Page_279" /></p> + +<p>Mr. Biggar did not appear to relish the line he was on, and shunted to +another topic; but he could not shake my view that the rents of 1880 +were, on the average, twenty-five per cent. lower than in 1840.</p> + +<p>'You bought the Harenc estate over the heads of the tenants?'</p> + +<p>'No, I did not.'</p> + +<p>'You spoke about an address which you received from the tenants when you +were a candidate for Tralee?'</p> + +<p>'Yes.'</p> + +<p>Then, with the snarl of a wild beast, Mr. Biggar blurted out:—</p> + +<p>'Have you any idea whether this was got up by the bailiffs on your +property?'</p> + +<p>'I am quite certain it was not, because I had no bailiffs on the +property. I gave an immense deal of employment, and I believe that had +something to do with it.'</p> + +<p>Mr. Biggar presently sat down, having made less of me than he and his +friends hoped.</p> + +<p>On re-examination, the Attorney-General observed:—</p> + +<p>'You say one of the bonfires, lighted when you succeeded, was put out. I +suppose the Irish people are not very averse to a row at times?'</p> + +<p>'Oh no.'</p> + +<p>'And bonfires do produce rows at times?'</p> + +<p>'Certainly.'</p> + +<p>'Your popularity did not depend on one bonfire?'<a name="Page_280" id="Page_280" /></p> + +<p>'No.'</p> + +<p>Nor did my life, fortunately, depend on the good will of Messrs. +Parnell, Biggar, and their associates.</p> + +<p>With reference to my freedom in telling the truth, an application was +made against me, in July 1891, for an attachment of the Land Court. It +ended abortively, and permitted me to continue with perfect impunity to +give in letters to the <i>Times</i> evidence I was debarred from giving in +Court.</p> + +<p>I certainly did not miss a chance of pointing out the proper path to the +Commissioners, and I have taken an even affectionate interest in every +department of the Land Commission. Sarcastically, a Home Rule paper +politely christened me as the fatherly patron of the Court, and informed +me that my own conscience had given up communication with me, in +consequence of the many snubs it had received.</p> + +<p>The intimate knowledge of my most private affairs that this purports to +represent proves the empty-headedness of the writer, and when he added +that the strong indictment rebounded off my hide because I had heard +myself a hundred times denounced in language equally eloquent, I can +only agree that he was a mere lisping babe in comparison with some +adjectival denunciators who, to their regret, find I am still alive and +equal to them all.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIII" id="CHAPTER_XXIII" />CHAPTER XXIII<a name="Page_281" id="Page_281" /></h2> + +<h4>LATER DAYS</h4> + + +<p>With advancing years comes a change in the point of view, for +anticipation contracts even more than retrospect expands. Associates of +early days have passed away, and where I was once one of a battalion, +to-day I am only a survivor of the old guard. This is not a cause for +sadness, but an incentive to take the best of what remains of life, +though at times chills and other ills, including doctors, drugs, and +income-tax, do their best to depress the survivor. It has been said to +be a characteristic of Irish humour that tears are very near the +laughter, and sometimes the unshed tears over lost opportunities must be +the chief bitterness of age—one which I have been mercifully spared.</p> + +<p>After all, youth may round the world away, as Charles Kingsley wrote; +but when the wheels are run down, to find at home the face I loved when +all was young is the blessing of life, and when, at our golden wedding, +our children called us Darby and Joan, I am sure my wife and I were +quite willing to answer to the names.</p> + +<p>This was happiness very different to that of George IV., who, when the +death of Napoleon was announced to him in the words:—</p> + +<p>'Sir, your great enemy is dead,' exclaimed:—</p> + +<p>'Is she? By Gad!' thinking it was his wife.</p> + +<p>I remember an amusing case that occurred in our own family. One of my +kith and kin, who had been married in the year of the battle of +Waterloo, died at the ripe old age of a hundred and three.<a name="Page_282" id="Page_282" /></p> + +<p>There was a faithful old fellow on the estate who was much attached to +her, and this was his view, just before her end:—</p> + +<p>'I am sorry to hear the old mistress is dying, very sorry indeed, for +she's been a good mistress to us all. Maybe if she had taken snuff she'd +have lived to a good old age,' which suggests wonder as to what his +conception of longevity really was. Probably the famous Countess of +Desmond, who died from the effects of a fall from a cherry-tree in her +one hundred and fortieth year, would have satisfied him.</p> + +<p>I have already observed that much of my later years has been spent, much +against my will, in London, and no portion of this period was so +satisfactory to me as my friendship with Mr. J.A. Froude, which I regard +as one of the privileges of my life.</p> + +<p>My first acquaintance with him was in consequence of reading his +<i>English in Ireland</i>, which I found so accurate and informative that I +wrote to ask him for an interview. I came to like him very much, not +only because he was the most gifted writer I have met, but also because +he understood Ireland better than any other Englishman.</p> + +<p>My first conversation with him was in his house in Onslow Gardens, and +there I very frequently sat for hours with him, and he also presented me +with copies of all his books, with an autograph letter on the fly-leaf +of each. I think the recent Land Purchase Act, having been followed by +increased agitation for Home Rule in Ireland, bears out what he said +about the folly of trying to reconcile the irreconcilables, and also +bears out what Lord Morris called the 'criminal idiotcy' of attempting +to satisfy eighty Irish members, forty of whom would have to starve +directly they were satisfied.<a name="Page_283" id="Page_283" /></p> + +<p>So far as I am aware, Mr. Froude never contemplated standing for +Parliament, which would not have been a congenial atmosphere for him, +though I am convinced he would have made more mark at Westminster than +his friend Mr. Lecky, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting.</p> + +<p>People to-day seem to regard Mr. Froude simply as the Boswell of +Carlyle, and, forgetting his own great services to historical +literature, degrade him to the mere chronicler of the bilious sage of +Chelsea. This is absolutely a distortion of fact, and one calculated to +do injury to the memory of both these famous men. Therefore it may be of +real utility to state that during my long and very intimate acquaintance +with Mr. Froude, he never mentioned the name of Carlyle to me but once, +and that was to describe a conversation between Lord Wolseley and +Carlyle, which dealt with the contemporary situation in Ireland. There +was, therefore, nothing to show me that my friend 'was utterly absorbed +in the Carlyles, and had no thought for any one else.' On the contrary, +he was a man full of keen interests, of which they were only one, and, +as far as I saw, an entirely subordinate one. He was a broad-minded man, +who hated petty misconception or a narrow view of anything, and he would +have been horrified at the prurient indecency with which the most +private affairs of the Carlyles have been exposed and distorted to +please a public which really has a higher moral tone than is possessed +by those who have gibbeted the defenceless dead.</p> + +<p>Mr. Froude was not addicted to talking much about his own works, but I +remember his telling me that <i>Oceana</i> had paid him best of them all, and +I think his view therein that the colonies will recede from England when +they are strong enough, following the example of the United States, is +accurate. Just tax Canada as Ireland has been taxed, and see how long +the Canadians will be contented. The ministers of George III. tried that +policy on the United States with the result that, before many years, +George had to receive the Plenipotentiary Minister of dominions over +which he himself had once reigned. It is absurd to compare Ireland with +Yorkshire, as has been done, for Ireland once had a separate Parliament, +and the Union was a matter of agreement, the outcome of which was that +Mr. Childers's Commission found she was taxed three millions more than +she should have been. The colonies are on the alert, with all the rather +irritable uppishness of youth on the verge of manhood, and their younger +generations are sure to take full advantage of any tactless conduct of +the British Government. Such was Froude's view, and nothing has happened +since his death to shake its inherent probability. The waves of Imperial +patriotism in war time go for very little, for Ireland is admittedly +disloyal, and yet Irish soldiers and Irish regiments were absolutely the +most successful in South Africa.<a name="Page_284" id="Page_284" /></p> + +<p>When the Government was introducing some quack measure into Ireland, +Froude wrote to me:—</p> + +<p>'I see they are putting some fresh sticks under the Irish pot, so it +will soon boil over.'</p> + +<p>Which it did, with a vengeance.</p> + +<p>To the end of his days Froude was a great reader, but his interest in +Church affairs and in ecclesiastical differences had completely died +away. He told me that the most accurate man of business of any period +was Philip of Spain, and that his notes and memoranda were a marvel of +practical aptitude. He derived the chief information for his <i>History of +England</i> from Spanish despatches, and would to-day have benefited +considerably by the translations of Major Martin Hume.<a name="Page_285" id="Page_285" /></p> + +<p>Personally Froude had no cranks; his disposition was most urbane, whilst +he was very neat in his appearance and also in his handwriting. It would +certainly be of interest to give a few of his racy letters, too often +undated, which I have preserved. Unfortunately, his executors firmly +refuse the necessary legal consent, so that I am compelled to make my +book irreparably the poorer by omitting what should have been one of its +most attractive contents. In justice to Froude's memory, I ought to add +that there was nothing in his correspondence with me that would have +diminished his high repute. I mention this because otherwise busybodies +might have misinterpreted the arbitrary action of his executors to the +detriment of his fame.</p> + +<p>A later friendship than that with Froude also must have a sincere +allusion in these pages, for I have derived much pleasure from my +association with Sir Henry Howorth, a ripe old lawyer of Portuguese +extraction, who has rendered valuable political service by his polemical +letters to the <i>Times</i>, on which I can pass a most favourable opinion. +His histories of the Mongols, the Mammoth, and the Flood are possibly +more permanent, but they are not of such contemporary note. At any rate, +I respect them from a distance, whilst I admire the political effusions +as the capital work of a comrade under arms, and one who is not afraid +to verbally bludgeon any formidable contemporary Hooligans.</p> + +<p>Sir Henry Howorth occasionally breaks out into a story, though he is +more frequently a listener to mine. This is one of his that I happen to +recall:—</p> + +<p>The Mayor of Richmond gave a dinner, at which a distinguished Frenchman +sat next the Mayor's son, and on replying for the guests in imperfect +English, observed:—<a name="Page_286" id="Page_286" /></p> + +<p>'I am vary happy to be here, and to meet my young friend, who is a sheep +of the old bloke,' meaning, of course, a chip of the old block.</p> + +<p>I plead guilty to have materially increased the interest felt by Sir +Henry in Irish affairs, which is not diminished by the fact that a niece +of Lord Ashbourne is married to his son.</p> + +<p>I think it was to him that I recommended another panacea for the evils +of Ireland, namely, that it would be a good plan to exchange Ireland for +Holland, for the Dutch would reclaim Ireland, and the Irish would +neglect the banks of Holland, with the eventual result that the living +Irish question would be washed away.</p> + +<p>Just now I alluded to a mayor, which reminds me of a story about an +Irish mayoress. As his Majesty has by this time been entertained at +several Corporation luncheons, it is not invidious to give the tale.</p> + +<p>The Mayoress, who was the heroine of the festal occasion in question, +felt completely overpowered by the royal society in which she found +herself, and when seated at the meal next to the King, was absolutely +unable to articulate any reply at all to the observations he addressed +to her, so eventually he gave her up, and turned his colloquial +attentions to the lady on the other side.</p> + +<p>After a while, fortified by the champagne, the Mayoress grew more +courageous, and, admiring the gentleman in full uniform on her right, +said to him:—</p> + +<p>'Might I be so bowld as to ask whether you are Lord Plunket?'</p> + +<p>'No,' he replied, with a smile, 'I am not.'</p> + +<p>'Would you mind telling me who you are, for I'm sure I don't know?'</p> + +<p>'I am the Duke of Connaught,' complaisantly replied her neighbour, upon +which she gasped:—'Oh, God in Heaven, another of them!' and subsided +into unbroken silence for the rest of the repast.<a name="Page_287" id="Page_287" /></p> + +<p>Another amusing case of mistaken identity occurred when Mr. Gladstone +was concocting his treasonable Home Rule Bill. He had been informed that +Lord Clonbrook would be able to give him invaluable information, so he +told his wife to ask him to luncheon. She, however, mistaking the name, +invited the late Lord Clonmel, a jovial sportsman known to his friends +by the nickname of 'Old Sherry.'</p> + +<p>Somewhat surprised at being thus honoured, Lord Clonmel consulted a few +cronies, who all advised him to accept, and in due course he proceeded +to Downing Street, where he found the French Ambassador was the only +other guest. It is possible that Mr. Gladstone thought him a little odd +and his attire somewhat demonstrative, but he was prepared for any +eccentricity in an Irish peer, and hardly noticed how excellently his +guest was doing justice to the meal, whilst preserving impenetrable +silence. Directly it was over, the Prime Minister took him apart, and +said:—'Now I want you, privately and confidentially, to give me your +view of the exact relation between landlord and tenant in Ireland.'</p> + +<p>'Absolute hell, my dear boy, absolute hell,' was the emphatic reply of +the old sportsman.</p> + +<p>That confidential conversation went no further; but I have never been +sure that Lord Clonmel in the least overstated the case.</p> + +<p>This renewed allusion to the lower regions that appears so closely +connected with Irish affairs reminds me of an amusing incident which +took place in a Dublin tram. Two members of the fair sex were discussing +their plans for the summer in the interior of a car, and one of them in +a mincing brogue said to the other:—<a name="Page_288" id="Page_288" /></p> + +<p>'I think I shall go to England this summer; it is so difficult in +Ireland to get away from the vulgar Irish.'</p> + +<p>'Faix,' screamed in much indignation an old Biddy sitting opposite, 'if +it's the vulgar Irish you want to avoid, and the English you want to be +meeting, it's to hell you must go, and you'd better go there this +summer.'</p> + +<p>That's the sort of quick retort which a Scotchman calls Irish insolence, +but then, who expects appreciation of real wit from any one canny? Wit +is irresponsible, a truly Irish propensity.</p> + +<p>The two mincing young women were almost as much disgusted as another old +lady who found herself opposite a stalwart working man, who incensed her +by his frequent expectoration. Gathering her skirts round her somewhat +ample form, she called the conductor and asked:—</p> + +<p>'Is spitting allowed in this tram?'</p> + +<p>'By all manes, me lady,' was the gallant reply, 'shpit anywhere you +like.'</p> + +<p>While alluding to trams, I cannot forbear relating one other Dublin +tale, which Lord Morris picked up from me and was fond of telling. Its +brief course runs thus:—</p> + +<p>'Would you tell me, if you plaze, where I'll find the Blackrock tram?' +asked a fussy little old woman of a policeman, busily engaging in +manoeuvring the traffic of a crowded street.</p> + +<p>'In wan minute you'll find it in the shmall of your back,' was the +laconic reply.</p> + +<p>The mere allusion to a query suggests how the British tourist invariably +starts trying to discuss the Irish question directly he is across the +Channel, and the insoluble part to any Saxon is that half the Irish do +not seem to desire a solution at all.<a name="Page_289" id="Page_289" /></p> + +<p>'What a fine country this would be if it were peaceful,' observed a +thoughtful Britisher, with a Cook's ticket in his pocket, on Killarney +Lake.</p> + +<p>'Peace! What would we do with it?' was the scornful reply of his +boatman, surprised for once into ejaculating the truth.</p> + +<p>Some landlords know how hopeless it is to attempt to prevail against +these sons of our epoch.</p> + +<p>'It has been of no use to hold up a candle to the hydra-headed devil,' +said one landlord to me about his tenants, 'for affability is more +expensive than absenteeism. If I say, "Good morning, Tom," the fellow +expects twenty per cent. off the rent, and "How's your family?" is +considered to imply forty per cent, abatement'—and that cannot be +called putting a premium on good fellowship from the landlord's point of +view.</p> + +<p>I have not said much about the way in which the Irish in America foster +insurrection, because it does not come within my own province. But I +have before me the type-written essay on the subject composed by a Kerry +landlord, who, in his lifetime, had exceptional opportunities of judging +of this in New York, and from it I am tempted to take a few sentences as +the manuscript is never likely to see the light of print.</p> + +<p>'There are three distinct types of the Irish-American Home Ruler, who +have been and are even now supporting with their dollars or their +eloquence, the "Irish Cause" as it is somewhat vaguely termed +throughout the United States. They can be distinguished as follows:—</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'1. The American—born Irishman of immediate Irish descent.</span><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290" /><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'2. The native Irishman who has emigrated from Ireland.</span><br /> + +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'3. The American Irish-American of long American descent, who, though +not inheriting a drop of Irish blood, is yet a vigorous if not +obstreperous ally of the Irish party in America. This last is the most +striking of the three, as on the face of it, he would not appear to +have any logical <i>raison d'être</i> as a political entity, but in reality +exerts a powerful influence in favour of "the Cause."</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>'One phase of the methods favoured by Irish-American Home Rulers is the +ingenuity with which cable reports, as printed in the newspapers, are +utilised for platform purposes. Let an account be flashed under the +Atlantic descriptive of some agrarian demonstration in Ireland, which +having been declared illegal, is dispersed by military. Forthwith the +opportunity is seized, and on some public platform or at some big +banquet, the fervid orator poses as the champion of human liberty. +"Another British outrage upon the Irish people! A brutal and licentious +soldiery let loose to gag free speech and prevent, at the point of the +bayonet, the exercise of the rights of freeman. Thank God, that you and +I my Irish-American fellow-citizens, are living in this glorious +republic, where such things are impossible!"</p> + +<p>'After hearing this amazing outburst, it is well to recall actual facts, +and compare the methods of suppressing riots in the United States and +the United Kingdom. For example, on July 12, 1871, a number of Orangemen +had organised a procession through the principal thoroughfares of New +York, which was resented by a large contingent of Catholic Irishmen, and +on a violent collision ensuing, the State militia was called out to +restore order, a task they most effectually accomplished by firing +volleys into the crowd of belligerents. The citizen soldiery of America +are accustomed to adopt summary measures with impunity. They possess the +resolution of the Irish constabulary without the uncomfortable +vacillation of Dublin Castle to thwart their efforts.'<a name="Page_291" id="Page_291" /></p> + +<p>In the past the Irish vote in America has been hostile to England, and +has had much to do with that measure of ill-feeling in the United States +which has deterred that Union of the Anglo-Saxon races that would enable +them to lick creation.</p> + +<p>An example may be cited in the case of Egan. This man was an ex-Fenian +leader, who wielded much influence in Nationalistic circles as far back +as the seventies, and when he was Treasurer of the Land League, he is +described by Mr. Michael Davitt—who ought to have a fine capacity for +discriminating degrees of scoundrelism—as the most active and able of +the Nationalist leaders in Dublin. Some time after the Phoenix Park +murders he settled in the United States, and whilst distinguishing +himself by the exceptional violence of his appeals on behalf of +outrageous Ireland, he was actually sent as American Minister to Chili. +This would not have caused me to notice him here but because it is +necessary the community should be warned that, unlike a good many of his +contemporaries and comrades, he is not an extinct volcano. On March 10 +of this current year, when still the chief Nationalist in the States, he +had a long interview with Count Cassini, the Russian Minister at the +Russian Embassy at Washington, just before a meeting of all the +diplomatic representatives, and the American correspondent of the +<i>Morning Post</i> does not hesitate to accuse Russia of financially +assisting the cause which Egan fosters. This sort of thing ought not to +be ignored in England. As an international action, it is hitting below +the belt, and when bad times come again to Ireland the Nationalists will +look to the Ministers of the Great Bear for funds, and are not likely to +be disappointed. Still it is curious that a Government which, at home, +exiles Nihilists and other bomb-throwers should, abroad, give +contributions to the cause that instigated the blowing up of my house, +and the outrages which rendered Ireland so notorious.<a name="Page_292" id="Page_292" /></p> + +<p>Not many years ago my wife was once more seriously alarmed at Edenburn +by the formidable proclivities of a man P——, who sat all day at my +gate with a gun, which he said he used for shooting rabbits: but we all +knew I was the rabbit he wanted to put in his bag. However, he has gone +to another sphere, and I am spending the present summer of 1904 very +happily in the same county.</p> + +<p>A couple of letters addressed there showing the way in which an old +widow expresses herself, when after great labour she has delivered +herself of an epistle, may not prove undiverting. The point is the +amount she can obtain from her children.<br /><br /></p> + +<p>'Samuel Mr. Hussey Esq.</p> + +<p>Sir—I hope you will be good enough to speak to Downing to give me +Justice. They have any amount of cattle, 2 horses, and my son-in-law's +wife carried 78 pounds book account before Mr. Downing got the case in +hands I would get 2 hundred pounds. I think it little for me according +to the means that was theirs. Now sir, two daughters very ritch sir +minding milk and butter and the one taking it away and selling it. My +son is not wright in his health or mind. They turned him against me and +he is more foolish than your Honour would believe. He says he will give +his uncle that ran away long ago to America mortgage, that Mr. Downing +gave him power to do what he like and those two daughters are very well +off and they will not allow me to do anything. Sir I am shamed of the +way they are treating me. My health and mind is very good, thanks be to +God and to you two Sir. They would not give me the price of the habit +that was berried with their father. Sir it would not pay my debts and +support me long. My father lived 100 years. The Judge said I would live +longer. Sir three hundred pounds is little enough for me according to +the means that is theirs. If I went into the workhouse I would not take +what they wish to give me. £160 they are giving me and I have my +Confidence in God and in your Honour's charity that you will be good +enough to speak for me. If the land don't sell to 5 hundred pounds I +will give it back to the attorney. Will your Honour tell them and I'll +pray to God sir ever to bless you.<a name="Page_293" id="Page_293" /></p> + +<p>Faithfully,</p> + +<p>MARY LUCY.'<br /><br /></p> + +<p>And the same dame favoured me with this further effusion:<br /><br /></p> + +<p>'Mr. Hussey Esq.</p> + +<p>Sir—100 pounds was offered to me before the purchase, a foolish priest +making little of me, himself trying to get it for his friends. The +Bishop, Sir, is kind to me always. For he knows I was wronged and he +don't like the foolish priest, and when I complain of him he is very +good. Sir some good people tell me that anyone at all have no claim but +myself and I wish it was true as all is very valuable. Mr. Connor is +very truthful and nice to me Sir when I will see him I am very sure he +will wish me well and all the good Honourable Gentlemen and yourself are +the best of all to my equals. I know it very well and I will for ever +pray to God in Heaven for you.</p> + +<p>Faithfully,</p> + +<p>MARY LUCY.'<a name="Page_294" id="Page_294" /><br /><br /></p> + +<p>So a landlord and agent, even in 1904, still has a few of the +patriarchal attributes in the eyes of the tenants. But to sift wheat +from chaff is easier than to sift truth from the lying blandishments +employed on such occasions.</p> + +<p>The reference to the priest shows that though always feared, when the +land-passion seizes a parishioner, he is set at as much defiance as +possible, should he be moderate, and these are the only occasions when +they venture to tell their confessor unpleasant truths to his face, for +in some country districts they are still convinced that the priests have +power to transform them into frogs and mice.</p> + +<p>A priest once threatened a bibulous parishioner, that if he did not +become more sober in his habits, he would change him into a mouse.</p> + +<p>'Biddy, me jewel, I can't believe Father Pat would have that power over +me,' said the man that same evening as the shadows fell, 'but all the +same you might as well shut up the cat.'</p> + +<p>Over elections the priests have paramount influence as I have already +shown, but may cite an example at the last County election in Kerry, +when three candidates stood, Sir Thomas Esmonde (Anti-Parnellite), Mr. +Harrington (Parnellite), and Mr. Palmer (Conservative). The last-named +out of a poll of six thousand obtained seventy votes. One of them was +given after the following fashion.</p> + +<p>An illiterate voter at Killorglin being asked in the polling booth how +he wished to vote, replied:—</p> + +<p>'For my parish priest.'</p> + +<p>'But he is not a candidate. The three are Esmonde, Palmer, and +Harrington.'</p> + +<p>'Well, then, I'll vote for Palmer, because it is more like Father Lawler +than the others.'<a name="Page_295" id="Page_295" /></p> + +<p>Naturally all concerned were convulsed with laughter, but the vote was +duly recorded.</p> + +<p>It is no uncommon thing to see priests carefully teaching illiterate +voters the appearance of the name of the candidate for whom they are to +poll, and also giving them printed cards merely containing his name, so +that they can recognise it on the voting-card.</p> + +<p>Of course an Irishman would take a bribe one way and calmly vote +another. But even this diplomatic tendency is outwitted by the priests, +for nowadays, when they have any doubt of the political sincerity of a +man, they insist on his declaring himself an illiterate voter. Then the +whole question of who is to be voted for is gone through audibly and +verbally, so that the honesty of the voter is known to those hanging +round. In the parish of Milltown, the education is as complete as in any +in Ireland, but at the last election, one third of the voters confessed +themselves illiterate, with the result anticipated by the priest.</p> + +<p>If the priest understands his parishioner—a thing which admits of no +possible shadow of doubt—it is equally certain that the Englishman does +not, as is shown by the following frivolous tale, always a favourite of +mine.</p> + +<p>'Paddy,' said a tourist at Killarney, 'I'll give you sixpence if you'll +tell me the biggest lie you ever told in your life.'</p> + +<p>'Begorra, your honour's a gentleman! Give me the sixpence!'</p> + +<p>No one would have thought of making such an offer to an English loafer, +and no English loafer would have had the wit to so neatly earn his +emolument.</p> + +<p>It is the assumption of simplicity that does the trick, and so well is +that put on that it comes close to the real thing.<a name="Page_296" id="Page_296" /></p> + +<p>The other day, when the King and Queen were at Punchestown, a Britisher +chartered a car at Naas to drive out to the course, and on the way +remonstrated with the carman on the starved condition of his horse, +whose ribs would have served for an anatomical study.</p> + +<p>'Well, your honour,' the jarvey explained, 'it's an unlucky horse.'</p> + +<p>'How unlucky?' asked the Englishman.</p> + +<p>'Well, it's this way, your honour. Each morning I toss with that horse +whether he shall have his feed of oats or I have my glass of whisky, and +would your honour credit it, the horse has lost these ten days past.'</p> + +<p>I am reminded of the reply given by Lord Derby to a gentleman who sent +him a dozen of very light claret, which he said would suit his gout. +Lord Derby subsequently thanked him, but said he preferred the gout, and +I have no doubt that that horse, had he been able to give tongue, would +have been an ardent upholder of teetotalism when it ensured him a feed +of oats.</p> + +<p>One more story of Lord Derby, as I have just mentioned his name:—</p> + +<p>A worthy trader had bothered him to let him stand for a certain borough +on the Tory ticket, but the Whig was returned unopposed on the day of +the nomination, and the candidate was subsequently attacked by Lord +Derby for not coming forward as he had promised.</p> + +<p>The man was almost as shaky in his aspirates as in his political +propensities, and his reply was:—</p> + +<p>'I would have stood, my lord, but there was a 'itch in the way.'</p> + +<p>'It was the more necessary for you to come to the scratch,' was the +immediate retort.<a name="Page_297" id="Page_297" /></p> + +<p>I always find that story popular at the Carlton, where I spend my +afternoons when in London. I was proposed by Mr. James Lowther and +seconded by the Duke of Marlborough, and very much obliged have I been +to them both, for I have many acquaintances there, and it has all the +conveniences of a comfortable hotel, without having to pay extravagantly +for the privilege of looking at a waiter.</p> + +<p>In the intervals of reading the papers and listening to other people, I +have there, as elsewhere, endeavoured to impart what I know to others +who know nothing about Ireland. They know much more about China or the +aboriginal tribes of Australia, in London, than they do on the topics +dearest to me.</p> + +<p>An English Radical member, after a long chat with my son Maurice, +observed:—</p> + +<p>'You actually mean to say that if Home Rule were given to Ireland you +would not be allowed to reside there?'</p> + +<p>'Certainly not,' replied Maurice, who knew what he was talking about.</p> + +<p>The member replied that he could not believe him, but that if he had +known that that was the real nature of the Bill he would never have +voted for it.</p> + +<p>I could not desire a better example of English wisdom on this +subject—one which Lord Rosebery has consigned to a distant date in +futurity, foreseeing that if the Opposition are to be handicapped with +Home Rule they will not stand a forty to one chance at the next +election.</p> + +<p>That election will, of course, turn on Protection, and I am therefore +tempted to quote from an article I contributed to <i>Murray's Magazine</i> in +July 1887, entitled 'After the Crimes Bill, What Next?' for I feel my +forecast of over fourteen years ago may serve a useful purpose to-day. +It ran thus:—<a name="Page_298" id="Page_298" /></p> + +<p>'In my next suggestion I feel that I am treading on dangerous ground; +still, having undertaken to suggest a remedy for Irish discontent and +anarchy, I must not shrink from offending the prejudices of some of the +wise men of England.</p> + +<p>'Ireland is an agricultural country. There are in Ulster, as in England +and Scotland, factories which support the greater portion of the +population, and cause the prosperity of the province; but outside of +Ulster, cattle and butter are the staple products. And how does Ireland +stand in her only market, England, as compared with other nations? She +enjoys free trade in butter, no doubt, but so do France and Holland; but +these countries, while they find an open market in England, tax all +English and Irish productions, and being manufacturing countries +themselves they can afford to sell butter at so cheap a rate as to swamp +Ireland's market. A slight protective duty on foreign butter would be +hailed with gratitude in Ireland, and do more to allay discontent than +any further acts of so-called "generosity."</p> + +<p>'Again, the great thinly peopled countries of the West find in England a +free market for cattle and flour, and America taxes very highly all +English goods. Why not place Ireland on a par with America, by levying a +slight protective duty on American beef and flour? Every little village +in Ireland formerly had its flour mill, which worked up the corn grown +in the country as well as imported grain. These mills are now generally +idle and the men who worked them ruined. A small duty on manufactured +flour would restore this industry, and enable men with some capital to +give employment to labour, and to work up in small quantities for the +farmer, at a cheap rate, their home-grown corn, as well as to grind +imported grain. Our own colonies may have, no doubt, a right to object +to our taxing their goods, but not so foreign countries.<a name="Page_299" id="Page_299" /></p> + +<p>'The Free Trade system of England would, no doubt, have been successful +if reciprocated. But the question is worth considering, whether the +English people do not now lose more by taxation resulting from the +chronic state of rebellion in Ireland than she gains by bringing in +American beef and flour, and foreign butter and butterine, free, to the +impoverishment of Ireland, and of the agricultural portions of England +and Scotland? "Remedial measures" for an agricultural country are +certainly not those which spoil its market.'</p> + +<p>Don't dismiss that as pre-Chamberlainese Protection for it is sheer +common-sense on a matter of national importance, and what I wrote in +1887, after many years, has become part of the political convictions of +a great and an increasing party.</p> + +<p>I wonder what the Protective party will be like when it eventually comes +into office. Promises out of office are often the whale which only +produces the sprat of legislation when the time of fulfilment arrives. +This is an impartial opinion on most Cabinets of the last fifty years.</p> + +<p>One of the few occasions on which a recent British Government has +recently shown some signs of appreciating a really keen and capable man +was when they made Mr. Ellison Macartney, Master of the Mint.</p> + +<p>I wrote and congratulated him, observing that I hoped he would never be +short of money, but if that was his plight all he had to do was to coin +it for himself.<a name="Page_300" id="Page_300" /></p> + +<p>I have a bad recollection for faces, and one day in Dublin his father +came up to me, and seeing I did not remember him, recalled a story with +which I had amused him in the lobby of the House of Commons.</p> + +<p>It was to this effect, and may prove new to others:—</p> + +<p>Coming out of Glasgow one evening two Irishmen waylaid a Scotsman for +the sake of plunder. He was nearly enough for them both, but numbers +prevailed, and when they had mastered him, after searching his pockets, +they only found three halfpence.</p> + +<p>Said one Hibernian to the other:—</p> + +<p>'Glory be to the Saints, Mick, what a fight he made for three +halfpence.'</p> + +<p>'Oh,' replied the other, 'it was the mercy of the Lord he had not +tuppence, or he'd have killed the pair of us.'</p> + +<p>Killing suggests the Kerry militia, the corps in which no one dies +except of good fellowship, one which has done a good deal to unite the +divergent interests of north and south Kerry, and which provides fine +physical development for soldiers of all ranks.</p> + +<p>Last year the militia received a grant of £120 from Government to be +expended on route marching with the band through the county in order to +promote recruiting. The net haul in the Milltown district was the +village idiot, who promised to enlist after the next sessions if the +jailer did not take him—he being apprehensive of committal to prison.</p> + +<p>But even this was not enough, for his mother came to a neighbouring +magistrate, weeping and praying for his remission, because—</p> + +<p>'It was a drunken freak on Patrick, for if the lad had kept his senses, +sure, he would never have done it.'<a name="Page_301" id="Page_301" /></p> + +<p>Another Kerry man being asked why his son did not enlist, replied:—</p> + +<p>'Ah, Jamsie was not a big enough scamp for the militia, because you have +to be a great blackguard before you can get in there.'</p> + +<p>Which shows that the camel and needle's eye trick is easier to perform +than to induce a country-bred man to enlist in the King's militia; +though once in, every fellow loves it.</p> + +<p>This intimation of an army suggests an anecdote of the past war-time. +The militia was being embodied, and several landlords who held +commissions were going under canvas with the corps at Gosport. One of +his tenants stopped a popular landlord on the road and asked:—</p> + +<p>'What do you want to go to be shot at by them Boers for, sir?'</p> + +<p>'To be sure, Tim, my tenants have the first right to shoot me, have they +not?' was the prompt reply.</p> + +<p>The fellow roared with laughter at the retort, and after shaking hands, +wished him luck.</p> + +<p>It was also characteristic of Irish proclivities for a soft-voiced woman +on the estate to say to Miss Leeson Marshall:—</p> + +<p>'When the war broke out first we were all praying that the English might +be beaten out of South Africa. Then when Mr. Marshall went away to the +army, we thought we should not like his side to lose, so we changed our +prayers round by the blessing of God and His Saints.'</p> + +<p>If any real impression has been given in these pages of the inconsistent +Irish character, the genuine character of this sentiment will be +comprehensible. It has been said that an Irishman will tell the truth +about everything except one thing—that, of course, is a horse. When not +engaged in shooting his landlord, the tenant is by no means disaffected +to him, whilst the female appurtenances, mindful of all the small doles +they obtain, are much more voluble in their cordial protestations.<a name="Page_302" id="Page_302" /></p> + +<p>Sometimes the women are enigmatical: one does not know if they are +acting out of kindness or from duplicity. For example, not so long ago a +girl came up to one of my daughters in the road and said to her:—</p> + +<p>'For the love of God tell your mother to order your father's coffin for +he'll need it, the Saints preserve us.'</p> + +<p>And with that she started away before there was time to reply.</p> + +<p>Nothing came of it, of course: nothing ever has, of real importance.</p> + +<p>Nothing, alas, also seems so often to be the verdict on life when +looking back. Mine, however, has been too full a one, not only with +griefs and trials but also with happiness and fun, for me to dismiss it +thus. There has been so much more to live through than to write about, +and yet, in these pages, has been told something which would have gone +for ever untold if I had not in old age become garrulous. Things +forgotten have been recalled to my mind and may prove suggestive to +other people who read them, and it is my hope, in concluding, that I +have provided diversion and a little food for reflection.</p> + +<p>I feel that a critic may consider too much that has been set down here +is disconnected, yet if he will let a gramophone record an animated +conversation, he will find that it ebbs and flows with the uncertain +babbling of a brook—and so it has been with me. Only the other day, in +the preface to Camden's <i>History of the British Islands</i>, I came across +the phrase:—<a name="Page_303" id="Page_303" /></p> + +<p>'bookes receive their doome according to the reader's capacitie,'</p> + +<p>and that alone emboldens me to hope for some measure of success for the +present volume. Readers do not always want serious subjects, and it is +in an hour when they desire a little diversion that I hope my +reminiscences may commend themselves, for in a phrase not unknown in my +native Kerry, this book consists of 'little things, and that away.'</p> + + +<p>THE END</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="INDEX" id="INDEX" /><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304" />INDEX</h2> + + +<p><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305" />Abbey of St. Denis, Paris, <a href='#Page_79'>79</a>.<br /> +Abbeyfeale, <a href='#Page_253'>253</a>, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.<br /> +Abercorn, Duke of ,<a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.<br /> +Aberdeen, Earl of, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>-<a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.<br /> +—— Lady, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>-<a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.<br /> +Acts—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Arrears, <a href='#Page_183'>183</a>, <a href='#Page_184'>184</a>, <a href='#Page_197'>197</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Crimes, <a href='#Page_183'>183</a>, <a href='#Page_262'>262</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Encumbered Estate, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Habeas Corpus Suspension, <a href='#Page_225'>225</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish Church, <a href='#Page_44'>44</a>, 180-<a href='#Page_181'>181</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Land, <i>see under</i> Land.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Riot, <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Union, of ,<a href='#Page_180'>180</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Westminster, of 1871, <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.</span><br /> +Adams, Mr. Gould, of Kilmachill, <a href='#Page_207'>207</a>.<br /> +Aghabey, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.<br /> +Aghadoe, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>, <a href='#Page_254'>254</a>.<br /> +Agriculture, Commission on,<a href='#Page_268'>268</a>.<br /> +Albert, Prince, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +America, Irish dissatisfaction fostered in, <a href='#Page_289'>289</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Home Rulers in, <a href='#Page_289'>289</a>-<a href='#Page_290'>290</a>.</span><br /> +Anderson, Rev. J.A., O.S.A., <a href='#Page_99'>99</a>.<br /> +Ardfert, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +Argyll, Duke of, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>.<br /> +Ashbourne, Lord, <a href='#Page_286'>286</a>.<br /> +Athenry, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>.<br /> +Avonmore, Lord, <a href='#Page_12'>12</a>.</p> + +<p>Balfour, Mr. A.J., Chief Secretaryship of, <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>-<a href='#Page_174'>174</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Gerald, Chief Secretaryship of, <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>-<a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.<br /> +—— of Burleigh, Lord, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +Ballincushlane, <a href='#Page_121'>121</a>.<br /> +Ballot, effects of introduction, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a>.<br /> +Bally M'Elligott, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +Ballybeggan, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Ballybunion, <a href='#Page_90'>90</a>.<br /> +Ballyporeen, Petty Sessions at, <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>.<br /> +Ballyvourney parish, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>.<br /> +Bandon, Lord, <a href='#Page_121'>121</a>.<br /> +Bantry, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>, <a href='#Page_39'>39</a>, <a href='#Page_52'>52</a>.<br /> +Barry, Lord Justice, <a href='#Page_21'>21</a>-<a href='#Page_22'>22</a>, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>.<br /> +Barter, Dr., of Cork, <a href='#Page_147'>147</a>.<br /> +Bartlett, Sir Ellis Ashmead, <a href='#Page_112'>112</a>.<br /> +Batt, Father, <a href='#Page_123'>123</a>-<a href='#Page_124'>124</a>.<br /> +Beaconsfield, Earl of, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>.<br /> +'Beal-Bo,' <a href='#Page_90'>90</a>-<a href='#Page_91'>91</a>.<br /> +Beaufort, fenianism in, <a href='#Page_254'>254</a>.<br /> +Belfast, population of, <a href='#Page_176'>176</a>.<br /> +Bernard, Mr. Edward Morrogh, <a href='#Page_265'>265</a>-<a href='#Page_266'>266</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs. Morrogh, <a href='#Page_265'>265</a>-<a href='#Page_266'>266</a>.<br /> +Bessborough, Earl of, <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.<br /> +Bewlay, Mr., <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +Bianconi, Mr. Charles, <a href='#Page_78'>78</a>.<br /> +Biggar, Mr., Parnell Commission on, <a href='#Page_278'>278</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.<br /> +Bishops, nomination of, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>.<br /> +Blarney, monument at, <a href='#Page_116'>116</a>.<br /> +Blasquet Islands, Lord Cork's property in, <a href='#Page_200'>200</a>.<br /> +Blennerhassett, Mr. Arthur, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. and Mrs. Robert, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Roland, K.C., <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>.<br /> +Bodkin, Galway family of, <a href='#Page_7'>7</a>.<br /> +Bogs, need for draining of, <a href='#Page_141'>141</a>-<a href='#Page_142'>142</a>.<br /> +Bogue, Farmer, <a href='#Page_32'>32</a>-<a href='#Page_34'>34</a>, <a href='#Page_110'>110</a>.<br /> +Boycott, Captain, <a href='#Page_213'>213</a>.<br /> +Boycotting, <a href='#Page_213'>213</a>, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>, <a href='#Page_249'>249</a>, <a href='#Page_250'>250</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. Parnell on, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>-<a href='#Page_217'>217</a>.</span><br /> +Brady, Lord Chancellor, <a href='#Page_75'>75</a>.<br /> +Breaing, value of land at, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.<br /> +Bright Clauses, the, <a href='#Page_82'>82</a>.<br /> +Bright, Mr. Jacob, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. John, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>.<br /> +Brown, Valentine, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>-<a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<a name="Page_306" id="Page_306" /><br /> +Buccleuch, Duke of, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>.<br /> +Buller, Sir Redvers, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +Burke, Mr. T.H., <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +Burns, David, steward at Ardrum, <a href='#Page_107'>107</a>.<br /> +Byrne, Mr., <a href='#Page_89'>89</a>.</p> + +<p>Cadogan, Earl of, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +Cahirciveen, fenianism at, <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>, <a href='#Page_152'>152</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">drink traffic at, <a href='#Page_113'>113</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">poverty of, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>.</span><br /> +Cahirnane, sale of, by Hussey family, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>.<br /> +Cairns, Lord, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>.<br /> +Callaghan, Michael, <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.<br /> +Callinafercy estate, <a href='#Page_144'>144</a>, <a href='#Page_159'>159</a>.<br /> +Carden, Woodcock,' <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.<br /> +Carew Manuscript, the, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Carlingford, Lord, Mr. Chichester Fortescue, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>, <a href='#Page_269'>269</a>.<br /> +Carlisle, Earl of, <a href='#Page_162'>162</a>-<a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +Carlton Club, <a href='#Page_117'>117</a>, <a href='#Page_188'>188</a>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.<br /> +Carlyle, Mr. Thomas, <a href='#Page_283'>283</a>.<br /> +Carnarvon, Earl of, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>.<br /> +Cassini, Count, <a href='#Page_291'>291</a>.<br /> +Castle Gregory, Walter Hussey, owned by, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Castleisland, opposition to Mr. Hussey at, <a href='#Page_84'>84</a>, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>, <a href='#Page_215'>215</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. Dease assaulted at, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">drink traffic at, <a href='#Page_102'>102</a>, <a href='#Page_103'>103</a>.</span><br /> +Castle of Doon, ruins of, <a href='#Page_91'>91</a>.<br /> +Castle-Drum, land owned by Hussey family at, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>.<br /> +Castlerosse, Lord, <a href='#Page_153'>153</a>-<a href='#Page_154'>154</a>.<br /> +Cattle, outrages on, <a href='#Page_220'>220</a>-<a href='#Page_221'>221</a>.<br /> +Cavanagh, Mr., <a href='#Page_152'>152</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs., <a href='#Page_152'>152</a>-<a href='#Page_153'>153</a>.<br /> +Cavendish, Lord Frederick, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>, <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +Chamberlain, Mr. Joseph, <a href='#Page_86'>86</a>, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>, <a href='#Page_175'>175</a>.<br /> +Characteristics of Irish nature, <a href='#Page_140'>140</a>-<a href='#Page_161'>161</a>.<br /> +Charlestown, Land League outrage at, <a href='#Page_253'>253</a>.<br /> +Chatelherault, dukedom of, claimed by Duke of Abercorn, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.<br /> +Chief Secretaries—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Balfour, Mr. A.J., <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>-<a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">—— Mr. Gerald, <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>-<a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Forster, Mr. W.E., <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>-<a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Fortescue, Mr. Chichester (Lord Carlingford), <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lowther, Mr. James, <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Morley, Mr. John, <a href='#Page_175'>175</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Naas, Lord, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Peel, Sir Robert, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>, <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Trevelyan, Sir George, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>-<a href='#Page_175'>175</a>.</span><br /> +Childers, Mr., Royal Commission, on, <a href='#Page_181'>181</a>, <a href='#Page_284'>284</a>.<br /> +Christian, Lord Justice, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>, <a href='#Page_89'>89</a>.<br /> +Clare, Earl of (Col. Fitzgibbon), <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>.<br /> +Clarendon, Earl of, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +Clergy—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Protestant, <a href='#Page_120'>120</a>-<a href='#Page_122'>122</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Roman Catholic, <a href='#Page_115'>115</a>-<a href='#Page_120'>120</a>.</span><br /> +Clonbrook, Lord, <a href='#Page_287'>287</a>.<br /> +Clonmel, Earl of, <a href='#Page_287'>287</a>.<br /> +Cobbe, Miss, <a href='#Page_57'>57</a>, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>.<br /> +Coffey, Bishop, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a>.<br /> +—— Denis, <a href='#Page_257'>257</a>.<br /> +Colthurst, Sir George, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>, <a href='#Page_49'>49</a>, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ballyvourney, estate of, <a href='#Page_208'>208</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Rathcole estate, outrages on, <a href='#Page_212'>212</a>.</span><br /> +Commissions on Land Question, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Parnell case, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +Connor, Jeremiah, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +—— Thomas, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Constabulary, the, <a href='#Page_127'>127</a>-<a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.<br /> +Conway, Captain, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Miss Avis (Mrs. Robert Blennerhassett), <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +Corelli, Miss Marie, <a href='#Page_98'>98</a>.<br /> +Cork and Orrery, Earl of, <a href='#Page_199'>199</a>, <a href='#Page_200'>200</a>, <a href='#Page_218'>218</a>.<br /> +<i>Cork Constitutional</i>, Edenburn outrage, on the, <a href='#Page_239'>239</a>-<a href='#Page_240'>240</a>.<br /> +—— <i>Examiner</i>, the, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>, <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>, <a href='#Page_244'>244</a>.<br /> +Corkaquiny, barony of, castles of the Hussey family in, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>.<br /> +Corn Law question, <a href='#Page_51'>51</a>.<br /> +Corragun, Sir Dominic, <a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.<br /> +County Club, Cork, <a href='#Page_49'>49</a>.<br /> +—— —— Tralee, <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>, <a href='#Page_111'>111</a>, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>.<br /> +Cowen, Mr. Joseph, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>.<br /> +Cowper, Earl, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Commission of, on Land Act, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>-<a href='#Page_272'>272</a>.</span><br /> +Cox, Sir William, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +Creameries, establishment of, <a href='#Page_161'>161</a>.<br /> +Crime in Kerry, Judge O'Brien on, <a href='#Page_229'>229</a>-<a href='#Page_234'>234</a>.<br /> +Crosbie, Bishop John, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Colonel, <a href='#Page_229'>229</a>.<br /> +Cruickshank family, the, <a href='#Page_261'>261</a>.<br /> +Curraghila, land value at, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.<a name="Page_307" id="Page_307" /></p> + +<p><i>Daily Telegraph</i>, the, <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.<br /> +Daly, Cornelius, Denis, and John, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Davitt, Mr. Michael, <a href='#Page_202'>202</a>, <a href='#Page_260'>260</a>, <a href='#Page_277'>277</a>, <a href='#Page_278'>278</a>, <a href='#Page_291'>291</a>.<br /> +De Bruce, Edward, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +De Freyne case, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>.<br /> +De Huse, Herbert, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +—— or Hussy, Nicholas, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +De la Huse, family name of Hussey, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +De Lacy, Hugh, Earl of Ulster, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +Dease, Mr., assault on, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>, <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Gerald, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>.<br /> +Deasy, Lord Justice, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.<br /> +Delane, Anne, <a href='#Page_272'>272</a>.<br /> +Denny, Edmund, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— family, <a href='#Page_8'>8</a>.<br /> +—— Miss, the 'Princess Royal,' <a href='#Page_8'>8</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Francis, <a href='#Page_155'>155</a>.<br /> +Derby, Lord, Land League, threats from, <a href='#Page_40'>40</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Archbishop Magee, opinion of, <a href='#Page_44'>44</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">anecdote of, <a href='#Page_296'>296</a>.</span><br /> +Derrynane Bay, smuggling at, <a href='#Page_24'>24</a>.<br /> +Desmond, Countess of, <a href='#Page_282'>282</a>.<br /> +Devonshire, Duke of, <a href='#Page_269'>269</a>.<br /> +Dillon, Mr., <a href='#Page_79'>79</a>.<br /> +Dillwyn, Mr., <a href='#Page_94'>94</a>.<br /> +Dinan, Jeremiah, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Dingle, Hussey family settled at, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">present day, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">yeomanry corps of, <a href='#Page_14'>14</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">poverty of, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>.</span><br /> +Dispensaries, <a href='#Page_135'>135</a>-<a href='#Page_139'>139</a>.<br /> +Doctors, dispensary, appointment of, <a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.<br /> +Dolly's Brae, Orange procession at, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +Don, the O'Conor, <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.<br /> +Doneghan, Mr., <a href='#Page_42'>42</a>-<a href='#Page_43'>43</a>.<br /> +Donelly, Mr. William, <a href='#Page_52'>52</a>.<br /> +Donoughmore, Lady, <a href='#Page_8'>8</a>.<br /> +Donovan, Sir Henry, <a href='#Page_99'>99</a>.<br /> +Douglas, Mr., <a href='#Page_57'>57</a>.<br /> +Downing, Miss Ellen, 'Mary,' <a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., <a href='#Page_292'>292</a>.<br /> +Dowse, Baron, land purchase, opinion on, <a href='#Page_205'>205</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">boycotting on, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Grand Jury of Kerry, address to, <a href='#Page_261'>261</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">commission on the Land Law, on, <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.</span><br /> +Doyle family, <a href='#Page_250'>250</a>.<br /> +Drink, prevalence of, <a href='#Page_101'>101</a>-<a href='#Page_114'>114</a>.<br /> +Dublin, population of, <a href='#Page_176'>176</a>.<br /> +Dudley, Lord, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +Dufferin, Lord, <a href='#Page_185'>185</a>.<br /> +Duffy, Mr. Charles Gavan, <a href='#Page_100'>100</a>.<br /> +Dun, Mr. Finlay, <a href='#Page_192'>192</a>-<a href='#Page_193'>193</a>, <a href='#Page_207'>207</a>, <a href='#Page_209'>209</a>.<br /> +Dunraven, Lord, <a href='#Page_173'>173</a>, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>.</p> + +<p>Edenburn, home of Mr. Hussey at, <a href='#Page_73'>73</a>, <a href='#Page_80'>80</a>-<a href='#Page_81'>81</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">outrage at, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>-<a href='#Page_247'>247</a>.</span><br /> +Egan, Patrick, <a href='#Page_291'>291</a>.<br /> +Elections in Kerry, description of, <a href='#Page_93'>93</a>-<a href='#Page_100'>100</a>.<br /> +Emigration, agents' treatment of emigrants, <a href='#Page_57'>57</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">American offer to, <a href='#Page_57'>57</a>-<a href='#Page_58'>58</a>.</span><br /> +Emmett, Robert, <a href='#Page_156'>156</a>.<br /> +Engineering Surveyors' Institution, <a href='#Page_42'>42</a>.<br /> +Erne, Lord, <a href='#Page_213'>213</a>.<br /> +Esmonde, Sir Thomas, <a href='#Page_294'>294</a>.<br /> +Evictions, number of, on Lord Kenmare's estate, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>.</p> + +<p>Faith, Mr. George, <a href='#Page_46'>46</a>.<br /> +Famine, the, <a href='#Page_50'>50</a>-<a href='#Page_59'>59</a>.<br /> +Farms, sub-divisions of, <a href='#Page_36'>36</a>.<br /> +Farranfore, evictions at, <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.<br /> +Fenianism, <a href='#Page_60'>60</a>-<a href='#Page_70'>70</a>.<br /> +FitzGerald, family of, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Lady (Miss Julia Hussey), <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., member of Land Commission, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs., <a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs. Robert (Miss Ellen Hussey), <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— Richard, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Peter (Knight of Kerry), <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +Fitzpatrick, Sir Denis, <a href='#Page_189'>189</a>.<br /> +FitzWalter, Theobald, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +Flaherty, Tim, <a href='#Page_48'>48</a>.<br /> +Forster, Mr. Arnold, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. W.E., Chief Secretary, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>, <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>-<a href='#Page_172'>172</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">criticism, sensitiveness to, <a href='#Page_211'>211</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">quoted, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>.</span><br /> +Free Trade, <a href='#Page_51'>51</a>, <a href='#Page_299'>299</a>.<br /> +<i>Freeman</i>, the, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>.<br /> +French, Mr., <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>.<br /> +Froude, Mr. J.A., Mr. Hussey and,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">friendship between, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>, <a href='#Page_227'>227</a>, <a href='#Page_282'>282</a>-<a href='#Page_285'>285</a>.</span><br /> +Fry Commission, the, <a href='#Page_185'>185</a>, <a href='#Page_272'>272</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Edward, <a href='#Page_272'>272</a>.</p> + +<p>Gadstone and Ellis, Messrs., <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +Generals, famous Irish, <a href='#Page_156'>156</a>-<a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +<a name="Page_308" id="Page_308" />Gentleman, Mr. Goodman, <a href='#Page_82'>82</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Henry, <a href='#Page_24'>24</a>.5.<br /> +Geraldine family, the, <a href='#Page_192'>192</a>.<br /> +Gladstone, Mr.—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish emigration, attitude towards, <a href='#Page_58'>58</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Legislation, effects of, <a href='#Page_60'>60</a>-<a href='#Page_61'>61</a>, <a href='#Page_67'>67</a>, <a href='#Page_108'>108</a>, <a href='#Page_131'>131</a>, <a href='#Page_179'>179</a>-<a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Letter to, from Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>-<a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. Hussey and, <a href='#Page_84'>84</a>, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>-<a href='#Page_178'>178</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. W.E. Forster and, <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nationalist party, attitude towards, <a href='#Page_195'>195</a>-<a href='#Page_196'>196</a>.</span><br /> +—— Mrs., anecdotes of, <a href='#Page_45'>45</a>, <a href='#Page_287'>287</a>.<br /> +Glasgow, morality of, <a href='#Page_36'>36</a>.<br /> +<i>Globe</i>, the, <a href='#Page_256'>256</a>.<br /> +Godfrey, Dowager Lady, <a href='#Page_73'>73</a>.<br /> +—— Sir John, <a href='#Page_154'>154</a>, <a href='#Page_155'>155</a>.<br /> +Gough, Lord, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +Granard, Earl of, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.<br /> +Grant, Mr., <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.<br /> +Granville, Earl, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.<br /> +Graves, Mr., <a href='#Page_48'>48</a>.<br /> +Griffin, Andrew, <a href='#Page_264'>264</a>.<br /> +Guest, Sir Ivor, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>.<br /> +Guillamore, Chief Baron, <a href='#Page_160'>160</a>.<br /> +Gull, Mr., <a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.</p> + +<p>Haggerty, Jeremiah, outrage on, <a href='#Page_217'>217</a>.<br /> +Harenc estate, the, bought by Mr. Samuel Hussey, <a href='#Page_82'>82</a>-<a href='#Page_92'>92</a>, <a href='#Page_278'>278</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Land Act, effect on, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.</span><br /> +Harenc, Mr., death of, <a href='#Page_82'>82</a>.<br /> +Harnett, Mr., <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.<br /> +Harrington, Mr. T., <a href='#Page_263'>263</a>-<a href='#Page_264'>264</a>, <a href='#Page_294'>294</a>.<br /> +Harris, Mr. Matthew, <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.<br /> +Headley, Lord, <a href='#Page_254'>254</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.<br /> +Henry, Mr. Mitchell, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>.<br /> +Herbert family, the, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Charles, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. A.E., <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">murder of, <a href='#Page_226'>226</a>-<a href='#Page_227'>227</a>.</span><br /> +—— Mr. William, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +Hewson, Mr., <a href='#Page_84'>84</a>.<br /> +Hickson, Captain John,' Sovereign of Dingle,' anecdote of, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>-<a href='#Page_14'>14</a>.<br /> +—— Colonel, <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., <a href='#Page_79'>79</a>.<br /> +Hickson, Mr. Robert, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs., <a href='#Page_53'>53</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs. Judith, <a href='#Page_15'>15</a>.<br /> +Higgins, Bishop, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a>.<br /> +Hitchcock, Mr., <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +Hoffman, tenant of Mr. Hussey, case of, <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.<br /> +Hogan, William, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Hogg, Mr., <a href='#Page_21'>21</a>.<br /> +Home Rule Bill, <a href='#Page_282'>282</a>, <a href='#Page_287'>287</a>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.<br /> +—— —— Party, the, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a>-<a href='#Page_195'>195</a>.<br /> +—— Rulers, Irish-American, <a href='#Page_289'>289</a>-<a href='#Page_290'>290</a>.<br /> +Hore, Mr., house and haggards of, burnt, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Houghton, Lord, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>-<a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +Howorth, Sir Henry, <a href='#Page_285'>285</a>-<a href='#Page_286'>286</a>.<br /> +Huddard's School at Dublin, <a href='#Page_20'>20</a>-<a href='#Page_21'>21</a>.<br /> +Huddleston, Mr. Henry, house of, burnt, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Husse, Sir Hugh, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +Hussey, origin of name, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +—— Colonel Maurice, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>-<a href='#Page_6'>6</a>, <a href='#Page_100'>100</a>.<br /> +—— Miss Anne, <a href='#Page_19'>19</a>.<br /> +—— —— Clarissa, <a href='#Page_126'>126</a>.<br /> +—— —— Mary, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Edward, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— —— James, <a href='#Page_15'>15</a>-<a href='#Page_16'>16</a>, <a href='#Page_19'>19</a>.<br /> +—— —— John, brother of Mr. Samuel, <a href='#Page_15'>15</a>.<br /> +—— —— —— son of Mr. Samuel, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— —— Maurice, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>, <a href='#Page_253'>253</a>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.<br /> +—— —— Michael, M.P. for Dingle, <a href='#Page_7'>7</a>.<br /> +—— —— 'Red Precipitate,' <a href='#Page_10'>10</a>, <a href='#Page_12'>12</a>, <a href='#Page_15'>15</a>.<br /> +—— —— Robert, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +—— —— Samuel, M., parentage of, <a href='#Page_10'>10</a>-<a href='#Page_12'>12</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">early life and education of, <a href='#Page_20'>20</a>-<a href='#Page_29'>29</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">farming, <a href='#Page_30'>30</a>-<a href='#Page_37'>37</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">land agent in Cork, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a><i>et seq.</i>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">to Colthurst property, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">candidature of, for Parliament, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>, <a href='#Page_98'>98</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish Land Act Commission, evidence before, <a href='#Page_205'>205</a>-<a href='#Page_206'>206</a>, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">press criticisms of, <a href='#Page_209'>209</a>-<a href='#Page_210'>210</a>, <a href='#Page_248'>248</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>, <a href='#Page_256'>256</a>, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Land Leaguers, threats from, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>, <a href='#Page_224'>224</a>, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>-<a href='#Page_247'>247</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Edenburn outrage, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>-<a href='#Page_247'>247</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'Woodcock,' <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">land sales, series of, letter to the <i>Times</i> regarding, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Times</i>, letter to, <i>re</i> Mr. Harrington, <a href='#Page_263'>263</a>-<a href='#Page_264'>264</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Parnell Commission, evidence before, <a href='#Page_276'>276</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Froude, friendship with, <a href='#Page_282'>282</a>-<a href='#Page_285'>285</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir Henry Howorth, friendship with, <a href='#Page_285'>285</a>-<a href='#Page_286'>286</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Protection, opinion on, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>-<a href='#Page_299'>299</a>.</span><br /> +—— —— Walter, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Hussey, Mrs. (Miss Mary Hickson), <a href='#Page_53'>53</a>;<br /><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309" /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">descent of, <a href='#Page_12'>12</a>-<a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.</span><br /> +—— —— Samuel (Miss Julia Agnes Hickson), <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— Sir John, Earl of Galtrim, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.</p> + + +<p>Inch East and Ardroe, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +—— Island, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +Industries, <a href='#Page_142'>142</a>.<br /> +Inniscarra, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>.<br /> +<i>Irish Citizen</i>, the, <a href='#Page_248'>248</a>.<br /> +Irish Land Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, <a href='#Page_205'>205</a>, <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>-<a href='#Page_275'>275</a>.<br /> +Iveragh, barony of, <a href='#Page_18'>18</a>.</p> + +<p>Jeffreys, Mr., <a href='#Page_49'>49</a>.<br /> +Jenkinson, Mr., <a href='#Page_246'>246</a>.<br /> +Jenner, Mr., <a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.<br /> +Johnson, Judge, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.</p> + +<p>Kanturk, <a href='#Page_108'>108</a>.<br /> +Keagh, Judge, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_87'>87</a>-<a href='#Page_88'>88</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">opinion of Irishmen, <a href='#Page_130'>130</a>.</span><br /> +Kellegher, Mr. Jerry, anecdotes of, <a href='#Page_10'>10</a>-<a href='#Page_12'>12</a>.<br /> +Kellehers, the, <a href='#Page_88'>88</a>.<br /> +Kelly, Miss Mary, 'Eva,' <a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +Kenmare family, the, <a href='#Page_3'>3</a>.<br /> +—— Earl of, succession to title, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">expenditure on estate improvements, <a href='#Page_152'>152</a>, <a href='#Page_196'>196</a>, <a href='#Page_209'>209</a>, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">anecdote of, <a href='#Page_153'>153</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">criticisms of, <a href='#Page_209'>209</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">House of Commons, debate on estate of, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">departure from Ireland, <a href='#Page_224'>224</a>.</span><br /> +—— district, poverty of, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>.<br /> +Kerry, population, etc., of, <a href='#Page_36'>36</a>-<a href='#Page_37'>37</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">clergy and churches in, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a></span><br /> +<i>Kerry Sentinel</i>, Edenburn outrage, on the, <a href='#Page_240'>240</a>.<br /> +Kilcockan parish, land value in, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.<br /> +Kilcoleman, woods of, <a href='#Page_155'>155</a>.<br /> +Kildare Street Club, <a href='#Page_49'>49</a>.<br /> +Killarney, crime in, <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>.<br /> +—— House, home of Lord Kenmare, <a href='#Page_115'>115</a>, <a href='#Page_209'>209</a>.<br /> +Killeentierna House, home of Mr. A. Herbert, <a href='#Page_226'>226</a>.<br /> +—— parish, church revenue of, <a href='#Page_121'>121</a>.<br /> +Killiney parish, property of Hussey family in, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Killorglin, Puck Fair at, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>, <a href='#Page_104'>104</a>, <a href='#Page_105'>105</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">voting at, <a href='#Page_294'>294</a>.</span><br /> +Kilmainham gaol, <a href='#Page_68'>68</a>.<br /> +Kilronan, evictions at, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +Kimberley, Earl of (Lord Wodehouse), <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.<br /> +Kitchener, Lord, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.</p> + +<p>Laing, Mr., M.P. for Orkney, <a href='#Page_198'>198</a>-<a href='#Page_199'>199</a>, <a href='#Page_200'>200</a>.<br /> +Land Acts, Wyndham, the, <a href='#Page_40'>40</a>, <a href='#Page_41'>41</a>, <a href='#Page_58'>58</a>, <a href='#Page_187'>187</a>-<a href='#Page_188'>188</a>, <a href='#Page_192'>192</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ashbourne, the, <a href='#Page_41'>41</a>, <a href='#Page_264'>264</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Balfour's, of 1896, <a href='#Page_84'>84</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gladstone's, of 1870, <a href='#Page_181'>181</a>, <a href='#Page_185'>185</a>-<a href='#Page_186'>186</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">of 1881, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>, <a href='#Page_181'>181</a>-<a href='#Page_189'>189</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">effects of, <a href='#Page_196'>196</a>-<a href='#Page_200'>200</a>, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>, <a href='#Page_282'>282</a>.</span><br /> +Land League—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Church and, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Effects of, <a href='#Page_199'>199</a>-<a href='#Page_200'>200</a>, <a href='#Page_202'>202</a>, <a href='#Page_208'>208</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Outrages of, <a href='#Page_199'>199</a>, <a href='#Page_212'>212</a>-<a href='#Page_222'>222</a>, <a href='#Page_246'>246</a>, <a href='#Page_248'>248</a>, <a href='#Page_267'>267</a>.</span><br /> +Le Fanu, Mr. W.R., <a href='#Page_77'>77</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Sheridan, <a href='#Page_77'>77</a>.<br /> +Leary, Darby, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Lecky, Mr., <a href='#Page_100'>100</a>, <a href='#Page_283'>283</a>.<br /> +Leehys, the, feud of, <a href='#Page_88'>88</a>.<br /> +Lefevre, Mr. Shaw, Commission of, <a href='#Page_269'>269</a>.<br /> +Lehunt, Colonel, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Leinster, Duchess of, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +Leitrim, Lord, <a href='#Page_226'>226</a>.<br /> +Limerick, Mr. Hogg's school at, <a href='#Page_21'>21</a>.<br /> +Lismore, famine fever at, <a href='#Page_54'>54</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">agricultural depression in, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">estate of Duke of Devonshire at, <a href='#Page_269'>269</a>-<a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.</span><br /> +Listowel, crime in, <a href='#Page_87'>87</a>, <a href='#Page_214'>214</a>.<br /> +Lloyd, Mr. Clifford, <a href='#Page_128'>128</a>.<br /> +Lockwood, Mr. Frank, <a href='#Page_277'>277</a>.<br /> +Logue, Dr., Archbishop of Armagh, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>.<br /> +Lombard and Murphy, Messrs., <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.<br /> +Londonderry, Marquis of, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.<br /> +Longfield, Judge, <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>.<br /> +Longford, clerical help for Lord Granard in, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>.<br /> +Lord-Lieutenants—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Abercorn, Duke of, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Aberdeen, Earl of, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>-<a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cadogan, Earl of, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Carlisle, Earl of, <a href='#Page_162'>162</a>-<a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.</span><br /><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310" /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Carnarvon, Earl of, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Clarendon, Earl of, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cowper, Earl, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dudley, Earl of, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Houghton, Lord, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>-<a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Kimberley, Earl of, <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Londonderry, Marquis of, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Marlborough, Duke of, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>-<a href='#Page_166'>166</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Spencer, Earl, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>-<a href='#Page_167'>167</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Zetland, Earl of, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.</span><br /> +Lower Curryglass, agricultural depression in, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.<br /> +Lowther, Mr. James, <a href='#Page_172'>172</a>, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.<br /> +Lucy, Mary, letters of, to Mr. Hussey, <a href='#Page_292'>292</a>-<a href='#Page_293'>293</a>.<br /> +Luxnow, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.</p> + +<p>Macaulay, Dr., <a href='#Page_117'>117</a>.<br /> +Macartney, Mr. Ellison, <a href='#Page_299'>299</a>.<br /> +MacCarthy, Bishop, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a>.<br /> +—— Florence, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., <a href='#Page_115'>115</a>.<br /> +MacCarty, Mr. Daniel, <a href='#Page_18'>18</a>.<br /> +MacGregor, Sir Duncan, <a href='#Page_128'>128</a>.<br /> +Magee, Archbishop, <a href='#Page_35'>35</a>, <a href='#Page_44'>44</a>-<a href='#Page_45'>45</a>.<br /> +Magheries, the, owned by the Hussey family, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Maguire, Mr., M.P. for Cork, <a href='#Page_43'>43</a>.<br /> +Mahaffy, Prof., <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +<i>Manchester Guardian</i> on the Edenburn outrage, <a href='#Page_238'>238</a>-<a href='#Page_239'>239</a>.<br /> +Marlborough, Duchess of, <a href='#Page_206'>206</a>.<br /> +—— Duke of, <a href='#Page_165'>165</a>-<a href='#Page_166'>166</a>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.<br /> +Marriage customs, <a href='#Page_142'>142</a>-<a href='#Page_146'>146</a>.<br /> +Marshall, Miss Leeson, <a href='#Page_301'>301</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Leeson, <a href='#Page_144'>144</a>, <a href='#Page_159'>159</a>, <a href='#Page_206'>206</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">anecdote of, <a href='#Page_301'>301</a>.</span><br /> +Martin, Miss, books of, <a href='#Page_30'>30</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Richard, M.P., <a href='#Page_55'>55</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Robert, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +Mason, John, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Matthew, Father, <a href='#Page_61'>61</a>, <a href='#Page_101'>101</a>-<a href='#Page_102'>102</a>.<br /> +Maynooth, <a href='#Page_116'>116</a>, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>, <a href='#Page_180'>180</a>.<br /> +M'Calmont, Captain, <a href='#Page_261'>261</a>.<br /> +M'Carthy, Mr. Justin, <a href='#Page_264'>264</a>.<br /> +M'Cowan, Mr., of Tralee, <a href='#Page_220'>220</a>.<br /> +M'Elligott, John, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Merry, Mr. Andrew, <a href='#Page_120'>120</a>.<br /> +Milnes, Mr. Monckton, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.<br /> +Millstreet, crime in, <a href='#Page_217'>217</a>, <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>.<br /> +Milltown, voting at, <a href='#Page_295'>295</a>.<br /> +—— Fair, price of cattle at, <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.<br /> +Minard Castle, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Minerals, <a href='#Page_142'>142</a>.<br /> +Mitchel, Mr. John, <a href='#Page_55'>55</a>, <a href='#Page_64'>64</a>.<br /> +Monaghan, Chief Justice, <a href='#Page_87'>87</a>.<br /> +Monk, Lord, <a href='#Page_94'>94</a>.<br /> +Monsell, Hon. Mrs., <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>.<br /> +Moore, Mr. Crosbie, <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>-<a href='#Page_165'>165</a>.<br /> +Moriarty, Dr., Bishop of Killarney, <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>, <a href='#Page_67'>67</a>, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a>.<br /> +Morley, Mr., <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>, <a href='#Page_175'>175</a>-<a href='#Page_176'>176</a>, <a href='#Page_177'>177</a>, <a href='#Page_178'>178</a>.<br /> +<i>Morning Post</i>, <a href='#Page_291'>291</a>.<br /> +Morris, Lord, anecdotes of, <a href='#Page_69'>69</a>, <a href='#Page_76'>76</a>, <a href='#Page_87'>87</a>, <a href='#Page_137'>137</a>, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>-<a href='#Page_168'>168</a>, <a href='#Page_170'>170</a>, <a href='#Page_254'>254</a>-<a href='#Page_255'>255</a>, <a href='#Page_288'>288</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. Edward, <a href='#Page_111'>111</a>-<a href='#Page_112'>112</a>.<br /> +Mountmorres, Lord, <a href='#Page_226'>226</a>.<br /> +Moynihar, Michael, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Muckross, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>.<br /> +Müller, Prof. Max, <a href='#Page_131'>131</a>.<br /> +Mullins, Miss, <a href='#Page_8'>8</a>.<br /> +Murder, encouragement of, <a href='#Page_227'>227</a>-<a href='#Page_228'>228</a>.<br /> +Murphy, Cornelius, murder of, <a href='#Page_231'>231</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., <a href='#Page_88'>88</a>.<br /> +—— Patrick, of Rath, case of, <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>.<br /> +Murray, George, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— Judith, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs. William (Miss Anne Grainger), <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— —— (Miss Ann Hornswell), <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Walter, Lord of Drumshegrat, <a href='#Page_12'>12</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. William, <a href='#Page_13'>13</a>.<br /> +<i>Murray's Magazine</i>, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>.</p> + +<p>Naas, Lord, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +—— posting arrangements at, <a href='#Page_31'>31</a>.<br /> +Nagle, Mr., <a href='#Page_46'>46</a>-<a href='#Page_47'>47</a>.<br /> +Nason family, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.<br /> +National League Police, <a href='#Page_250'>250</a>.<br /> +Nationalists, the, <a href='#Page_196'>196</a>.<br /> +Neill, Daniel, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Neligan, John, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +<i>New York Tablet</i>, the, <a href='#Page_210'>210</a>.<br /> +Nicoll, Mrs., <a href='#Page_241'>241</a>.<br /> +Nield, Mr., <a href='#Page_253'>253</a>.<br /> +<a name="Page_311" id="Page_311" />Nolan, Mr., of Ballinderry, <a href='#Page_55'>55</a>.<br /> +Normanton, Lord, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.</p> + +<p>O'Brien, Judge, address to Grand Jury on state of Kerry, <a href='#Page_228'>228</a>-<a href='#Page_234'>234</a>.<br /> +—— Smith, <a href='#Page_64'>64</a>-<a href='#Page_65'>65</a>.<br /> +O'Connell, Mr. Daniel, anecdotes of, <a href='#Page_10'>10</a>, <a href='#Page_160'>160</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">family of, <a href='#Page_24'>24</a>-<a href='#Page_25'>25</a>.</span><br /> +—— —— —— (junior), <a href='#Page_152'>152</a>.<br /> +—— —— John, <a href='#Page_25'>25</a>.<br /> +—— —— Morgan, <a href='#Page_24'>24</a>.<br /> +—— —— Philip, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_48'>48</a>.<br /> +—— Mrs., <a href='#Page_78'>78</a>.<br /> +—— Sir James, <a href='#Page_25'>25</a>-<a href='#Page_26'>26</a>.<br /> +O'Connor, Father M., <a href='#Page_92'>92</a>.<br /> +—— Fergus, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_76'>76</a>.<br /> +—— Mr. T.P., <a href='#Page_62'>62</a>.<br /> +O'Conor Don, the, <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.<br /> +O'Donnell <i>v.</i> the <i>Times</i>, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +O'Donoghue, Rev. Denis, <a href='#Page_96'>96</a>.<br /> +—— the, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">election of, <a href='#Page_98'>98</a>-<a href='#Page_99'>99</a>.</span><br /> +O'Hagan, Lord, <a href='#Page_89'>89</a>.<br /> +Oliver, Colonel, <a href='#Page_199'>199</a>.<br /> +Ormsby, Judge, <a href='#Page_82'>82</a>, <a href='#Page_83'>83</a>.<br /> +O'Shaughnessy, Mr., <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.<br /> +O'Shea, Daniel, <a href='#Page_210'>210</a>, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.<br /> +O'Sullivan, James, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.</p> + +<p>Palmer, Mr., <a href='#Page_294'>294</a>.<br /> +Parliament, Irish Members of, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a><i> et seq.</i><br /> +Parnell Commission, <a href='#Page_68'>68</a>, <a href='#Page_104'>104</a>, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., fenian leadership of, <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>, <a href='#Page_156'>156</a>;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lord Carnarvon and, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Land League and, <a href='#Page_195'>195</a>, <a href='#Page_202'>202</a>, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">speech quoted on boycotting, <a href='#Page_249'>249</a>.</span><br /> +Parnellism and crime, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>.<br /> +Peel, Sir Robert, <a href='#Page_51'>51</a>, <a href='#Page_76'>76</a>.<br /> +—— —— —— (the younger), <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>.<br /> +Pembroke, Earl of, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>.<br /> +Phoenix Park murder, the, <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +—— Society, the, <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>.<br /> +Pigott, Richard, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>-<a href='#Page_276'>276</a>.<br /> +Pitt, Mr. William, <a href='#Page_180'>180</a>.<br /> +Plunkett, Mr. T.O., <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Horace, <a href='#Page_161'>161</a>.<br /> +Price, Professor Bohnamy, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>.<br /> +Protection, Mr. Hussey on, <a href='#Page_297'>297</a>-<a href='#Page_299'>299</a>.<br /> +Puck Fair, <a href='#Page_95'>95</a>, <a href='#Page_104'>104</a>-<a href='#Page_105'>105</a>.<br /> +Punchestown, <a href='#Page_296'>296</a>.</p> + +<p>Quill, Patrick, <a href='#Page_273'>273</a>.</p> + +<p>Ray, Mr. Jack, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_154'>154</a>-<a href='#Page_155'>155</a>.<br /> +Regiura Donum, Presbyterian grant, <a href='#Page_180'>180</a>.<br /> +Reid, Mr., <a href='#Page_277'>277</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Wemyss, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>, <a href='#Page_211'>211</a>.<br /> +Reynolds, Alderman John, <a href='#Page_75'>75</a>-<a href='#Page_76'>76</a>.<br /> +—— John, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Richmond and Gordon, Duke of, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>, <a href='#Page_268'>268</a>.<br /> +Roberts, Earl, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +Roche, Mr. R., <a href='#Page_240'>240</a>.<br /> +Roden, Lord, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +Ronayne, Mr. Joseph, M.P. for Cork, <a href='#Page_46'>46</a>.<br /> +Rosebery, Earl of, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>.<br /> +Ross, Judge, <a href='#Page_41'>41</a>.<br /> +Rossa, O'Donovan, <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>.<br /> +Rossbeigh, Land League at, <a href='#Page_266'>266</a>.<br /> +Royal Commission on Agriculture, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>.<br /> +Russell, Lord John, <a href='#Page_51'>51</a>, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +—— Sir Charles, <a href='#Page_276'>276</a>-<a href='#Page_277'>277</a>.</p> + +<p>Sadler, Colonel, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +Saint Alban's, Holborn, Church of, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>.<br /> +Saint Anne's, Soho, Church of, <a href='#Page_34'>34</a>.<br /> +Saint James's Club, <a href='#Page_57'>57</a>.<br /> +Salisbury, Lord, Commission on Land Act of 1881, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>.<br /> +Sandes, Mr., <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>.<br /> +Savings Banks, increase of deposits, <a href='#Page_191'>191</a>.<br /> +Saxe, Marshal, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_62'>62</a>-<a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +Schoolmasters, appointment of, <a href='#Page_133'>133</a>.<br /> +Scottish character, <a href='#Page_35'>35</a>-<a href='#Page_36'>36</a>.<br /> +Scully, Mr., <a href='#Page_94'>94</a>.<br /> +Sexton, Mr., <a href='#Page_222'>222</a>.<br /> +Shaftesbury, Lord, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>.<br /> +Shanahan, Robert, <a href='#Page_151'>151</a>.<br /> +—— Thomas, <a href='#Page_245'>245</a>.<br /> +Shaw, Mr., <a href='#Page_270'>270</a>.<br /> +Sheehan, Mr., <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +Sheehy, Father, <a href='#Page_252'>252</a>.<br /> +Shiel, Sir George, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>.<br /> +Smerwick Harbour, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>.<br /> +Smith, Mr. Charles, historian, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.<br /> +—— Sidney, <a href='#Page_136'>136</a>.<br /> +Somerville, Miss, <a href='#Page_30'>30</a>.<br /> +Spencer, Lord, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>-<a href='#Page_167'>167</a>;<br /><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312" /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Land Act, opinion on, <a href='#Page_203'>203</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Coercion Act, opinion on, <a href='#Page_225'>225</a>.</span><br /> +Spiddal, <a href='#Page_137'>137</a>.<br /> +Standford, Mr., <a href='#Page_99'>99</a>.<br /> +Stansfield, Lord, <a href='#Page_204'>204</a>.<br /> +<i>Star</i> newspaper, <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>.<br /> +Stephen, Sir James, quoted, <a href='#Page_250'>250</a>-<a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.<br /> +Stevens, Captain, <a href='#Page_110'>110</a>.<br /> +Stephens, James, 'Number One,' <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>, <a href='#Page_68'>68</a>, <a href='#Page_156'>156</a>.<br /> +Stuart, Mr., <a href='#Page_258'>258</a>,<br /> +Sullivan, Sir Edward, <a href='#Page_166'>166</a>.<br /> +<i>Sunday Democrat</i> newspaper, <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.</p> + +<p>Tanner, Dr., <a href='#Page_112'>112</a>.<br /> +Thackeray, William Makepeace, <a href='#Page_78'>78</a>.<br /> +Thorneycroft, Colonel, <a href='#Page_16'>16</a>.<br /> +<i>Times</i> newspaper, the—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Edenburn outrage, on the, <a href='#Page_239'>239</a>, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>-<a href='#Page_243'>243</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Encumbered Estate Act, quoted on, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. Hussey's letter to, on land values, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lord Kenmare's estate, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">O'Donnell <i>v.</i>, <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>-<a href='#Page_275'>275</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Parnell Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, <a href='#Page_276'>276</a>-<a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +Traill, Dr. Anthony, <a href='#Page_272'>272</a>.<br /> +Tralee, drink traffic in, <a href='#Page_113'>113</a>.<br /> +—— County Club, <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>, <a href='#Page_111'>111</a>, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>.<br /> +Trant family, the, <a href='#Page_107'>107</a>.<br /> +Trench, Mr. Steuart, famine described by, <a href='#Page_50'>50</a>-<a href='#Page_51'>51</a>.<br /> +—— —— Townshend, <a href='#Page_17'>17</a>, <a href='#Page_277'>277</a>.<br /> +Trevelyan, Sir George, <a href='#Page_174'>174</a>-<a href='#Page_175'>175</a>.<br /> +Trinity College, Dublin, <a href='#Page_117'>117</a>.<br /> +Tucker, Sir Charles, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +<a name="Page_313" id="Page_313" />Tulla, outrage at, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>.<br /> +Tullamore, Mr. Forster's speech at, <a href='#Page_216'>216</a>.<br /> +Tweedmouth, Lord, <a href='#Page_167'>167</a>.<br /> +Tynan, 'Number One,' <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>, <a href='#Page_156'>156</a>.</p> + +<p>Union Club, <a href='#Page_246'>246</a>.<br /> +<i>United Ireland</i> newspaper, <a href='#Page_244'>244</a>, <a href='#Page_249'>249</a>, <a href='#Page_251'>251</a>.<br /> +University, Roman Catholic, for Ireland,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mr. Hussey's opinion regarding, <a href='#Page_116'>116</a>-<a href='#Page_117'>117</a>.</span></p> + +<p>Ventry Harbour, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>, <a href='#Page_4'>4</a>.<br /> +—— Lady, famine, help in, <a href='#Page_53'>53</a>, <a href='#Page_54'>54</a>.<br /> +—— Lord, <a href='#Page_46'>46</a>.</p> + +<p>Wallace, Mr. Paul, <a href='#Page_48'>48</a>.<br /> +Walsh, Dr., Archbishop of Dublin, <a href='#Page_118'>118</a>.<br /> +Wellington, Duke of, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.<br /> +White, Mr. Richard, of Inchiclogh, <a href='#Page_55'>55</a>.<br /> +—— Sir George, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>.<br /> +Whiteboys, <a href='#Page_14'>14</a>, <a href='#Page_61'>61</a>-<a href='#Page_62'>62</a>.<br /> +Whiteside, Chief Justice, <a href='#Page_89'>89</a>.<br /> +Wilde, Lady, 'Speranza,' <a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +—— Oscar, <a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +Winn, Mr., <a href='#Page_255'>255</a>.<br /> +Wolseley, Lord, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>, <a href='#Page_283'>283</a>.<br /> +Wrench, Mr., <a href='#Page_274'>274</a>.<br /> +Wright, Mr. Huntley, quoted, <a href='#Page_101'>101</a>.<br /> +'Wuffalo Will,' <a href='#Page_64'>64</a>.<br /> +Wyndham, Mr., <a href='#Page_58'>58</a>, <a href='#Page_129'>129</a>.</p> + +<p>York, Duke of, <a href='#Page_173'>173</a>.<br /> +Youghal, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.<br /> +Young Ireland Party, <a href='#Page_63'>63</a>.<br /> +—— Mr., <a href='#Page_99'>99</a>.</p> + +<p>Zetland, Earl of, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>.</p> + + +<p>Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE Printers to His Majesty +at the Edinburgh University Press</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reminiscences of an Irish Land +Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + +***** This file should be named 16450-h.htm or 16450-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/4/5/16450/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/16450-h/images/image01.jpg b/16450-h/images/image01.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..282bbb9 --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h/images/image01.jpg diff --git a/16450-h/images/image01_thumb.jpg b/16450-h/images/image01_thumb.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..83d622e --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h/images/image01_thumb.jpg diff --git a/16450-h/images/image02.jpg b/16450-h/images/image02.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a3537f5 --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h/images/image02.jpg diff --git a/16450-h/images/image02_thumb.jpg b/16450-h/images/image02_thumb.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..eedf58e --- /dev/null +++ b/16450-h/images/image02_thumb.jpg diff --git a/16450.txt b/16450.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9dbddc --- /dev/null +++ b/16450.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11507 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent + +Author: S.M. Hussey + +Editor: Home Gordon + +Release Date: August 5, 2005 [EBook #16450] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +[Illustration: S.M. Hussey] + + + THE REMINISCENCES + + OF AN + + IRISH LAND AGENT + + BEING THOSE OF + + S.M. HUSSEY + + +_Compiled by_ HOME GORDON + +WITH TWO PORTRAITS + + +LONDON + +_DUCKWORTH AND COMPANY_ 3 HENRIETTA STREET, W.C. + +1904 + +Edinburgh: T. and A. CONSTABLE, Printers to His Majesty + + + + +PREFACE + + +Probably the first criticism on this book will be that it is colloquial. + +The reason for this lies in the fact that though Mr. Hussey has for two +generations been one of the most noted raconteurs in Ireland, he has +never been addicted to writing, and for that reason has always declined +to arrange his memoirs, though several times approached by publishers +and strongly urged to do so by his friends, notably Mr. Froude and Mr. +John Bright. If his reminiscences are to be at all characteristic they +must be conversational, and it is as a talker that he himself at length +consents to appear in print. + +In this volume he endeavours to supply some view of his own country as +it has impressed itself on 'the most abused man in Ireland,' as Lord +James of Hereford characterised Mr. Hussey. How little practical effect +several attacks on his life and scores of threatening letters have had +on him is shown by the fact that he survives at the age of eighty to +express the wish that his recollections may open the eyes of many as +well as prove diverting. + +Possessing a retentive memory, he has been further able to assist me +with seven large volumes of newspaper cuttings which he had collected +since 1853, while the publishers kindly permit the use of two articles +he contributed to _Murray's Magazine_ in May and July 1887. To me the +preparation of this book has been a delightful task, materially helped +by Mr. Hussey's family as well as by a few others on either side of the +Channel. + +HOME GORDON. + +13 OVINGTON SQUARE, S.W. + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + PREFACE v + + + CHAP. + I. ANCESTRY i + + II. PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS 10 + + III. EDUCATION 20 + + IV. FARMING 30 + + V. LAND AGENT IN CORK 38 + + VI. FAMINE AND FEVER 50 + + VII. FENIANISM 60 + + VIII. MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES 71 + + IX. THE HARENC ESTATE 82 + + X. KERRY ELECTIONS 93 + + XI. DRINK 101 + + XII. PRIESTS 115 + + XIII. CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS 127 + + XIV. IRISH CHARACTERISTICS 140 + + XV. LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES 162 + + XVI. GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION 179 + + XVII. THE STATE OF KERRY 194 + + XVIII. A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP 202 + + XIX. MURDER, OUTRAGE, AND CRIME 212 + + XX. THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE 235 + + XXI. MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES 248 + + XXII. COMMISSIONS 268 + + XXIII. LATER DAYS 281 + + INDEX 305 + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + +PORTRAIT OF S.M. HUSSEY _frontispiece_ + +PORTRAIT OF MRS. HUSSEY _at p. 71_ + + + + + + + +REMINISCENCES OF AN IRISH LAND AGENT + + + + +CHAPTER I + +ANCESTRY + + +'My father and mother were both Kerry men,' as the saying goes in my +native land, and better never stepped. + +It was my misfortune, but not my fault, that I was born at Bath and not +in Kerry. + +However, my earliest recollection is of Dingle, for I was only three +months old when I was taken back to Ireland, and up to that time I did +not study the English question very deeply, especially as I had an Irish +nurse. + +There is a lot of Hussey history before I was born, and some is worth +preserving here. + +It is a thousand pities that so many details of family history have been +lost, and to my mind it is incumbent on one member of every reasonably +old family in this generation to collect and set down what should be +remembered about their ancestors for the unborn to come. + +My contribution does not profess to be very exhaustive, but it will +serve for want of a better. + +When a man claims to be descended from Irish kings, it generally means +that his forbears were bigger scoundrels than he is, for they were +cattle-lifters and marauders, whilst his depredations are probably +disguised under some of the many insidious forms of finance. Just as +every Scotsman is not canny and every American is not cute, so every +Irishman is not what the Saxon believes him to be. But there can be +little doubt what type of men these ancient Irish sovereigns were, and I +regretfully confess I cannot trace my descent from them. + +The family of Hussey was of English extraction, according to that rather +valuable book _The Antient and Present State of the County of Kerry_, by +Charles Smith, 1756--the companion volumes dealing with Cork and +Waterford are much less precious. Personally I always understood that +the Husseys hailed from Normandy, as will be seen a few pages on, but +tradition on such a point is not of much value. + +Anyway the family of Hussey settled in very early times at Dingle, and +also had several lands and castles in the barony of Corkaquiny. + +Dingle was the only town in this barony, and it was incorporated by +Queen Elizabeth in 1585, when she granted it the same privileges which +were enjoyed by Drogheda, with a superiority over the harbours of Ventry +and Smerwick. The Virgin Sovereign also presented the town with L300 for +the purpose of making a wall round it. + +The Irish formerly called Dingle Daingean in Cushy, or the fastness of +the Husseys. One of the FitzGeralds, Earl of Desmond, had granted to an +ancestor of my own a considerable tract of land in these parts, namely, +from Castle-Drum to Dingle, or as others say, he gave him as much as he +could walk over in his jackboots in one day. That Hussey built a castle, +said to be the first erected at Dingle, the vaults of which were +afterwards used as the county gaol. + +There is mention of this in the grant of a charter to Dingle by King +James I. in the fourth year of his reign: 'The house of John Hussey +granted for a gaol and common hall to the corporation.' + +A grim interest lurks in the fact that the dedication of Smith's +_History_ to Lord Newport, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, recites that +'this Kingdom, my lord, is a kind of Terra Incognita to the greater part +of Europe.' + +Is it not so to this day? + +Do I not meet scores of people who tell me they would love to go to +Kerry, but they have never been nearer than Killarney. + +That is the sort of speech which makes me wonder how geography is +taught. + +It is on a par with the remark of a prominent Arctic explorer, that he +had never been to Killarney because it was so far off. + +People, however, who go there apparently like it. + +The chief Elizabethan settlers in Kerry were William and Charles +Herbert, Valentine Brown, ancestor of the Kenmares, Edmund Denny, and +Captain Conway, whose daughter Avis married Robert Blennerhasset, while +a little later, in 1600, John Crosbie was made Bishop of Ardfert and +Aghadoe. + +To-day the descendants of those settlers are still among the principal +folk in Kerry, though that is more due to their own selves than to the +support they had from any British Government. + +This Valentine Brown, who was a worshipful and valiant knight, wrote a +discourse for settling Munster in 1584. His plan was to exterminate the +FitzGeralds and to protestantise Ireland; but by the irony of fate his +own son married a daughter of the Earl of Desmond and became a Roman +Catholic. + +In the Carew Manuscript it is recorded that he estimated that one +constable and six men would suffice for Cork, but for Ventry, 'a large +harbour near Dingle,' one constable and fifty men were necessary; so he +evidently had a clear apprehension of the villainous capabilities of the +men of Kerry. + +It is also recorded that in the parish of Killiney is a stronghold +called Castle Gregory, which before the wars of 1641 was possessed by +Walter Hussey, who was proprietor of the Magheries and Ballybeggan. +Having a considerable party under his command, he made a garrison of his +castle, whence having been long pressed by Cromwell's forces, he escaped +in the night with all his men, and got into Minard Castle, in which he +was closely beset by Colonels Lehunt and Sadler. After some time had +been spent, the English observing that the besieged were making use of +pewter bullets, powder was laid under the vaults of the castle, and both +Walter Hussey and his men were blown up. + +Prior to this, 'on January 31, 1641, Walter Hussey, with Florence +MacCarthy and others, attacked Ballybeggan Castle, plundered and burnt +the house of Mr. Henry Huddleston, and did the same to the house and +haggards of Mr. Hore, where they built an engine called a saw, having +its three sides made musket-proof with boards. It was drawn on four +wheels, each a foot high, with folding doors to open inwards and several +loopholes to shoot through, without a floor, so that ten or twelve men +who went therein might drive it forwards. These machines were set +against castle walls whilst the men within them attempted to make a +breach with crows and pickaxes.' + +Infernal machines are, after all, not confined to our own times, and +this same rascally ancestor of my own appears to have had predatory +habits more likely to be appreciated by his followers than by his foes. + + +Dingle is now a somewhat dilapidated town, but that was not always the +case, for it is mentioned in my dear old friend Froude's _History of +England_ that the then Earl of Desmond called on the ambassador of +Charles V. at his lodgings in Dingle. The old records of the place would +be worth diligent antiquarian research, a matter even more difficult in +Ireland than elsewhere. Should all be brought to light, I fancy the part +played by my family would not grow smaller. + +The Husseys spread away over the county, after having their lands +forfeited under both Elizabeth and Cromwell, which was the most +respectable thing to suffer in those times. In the reign of Queen Anne, +Colonel Maurice Hussey sold Cahirnane to the Herberts, and there is a +garden still called Hussey's Garden in the property. He built a mortuary +chapel for himself on the top of a small hill just outside the gates of +Muckross, where his own grave near that beautiful abbey can be seen to +this day. + +This Colonel Maurice Hussey resided for some time in England, and +appears to have married an English lady; and it is odd that though a +Roman Catholic he was trusted by the Governments of both William and +Anne. There seems to have been something versatile about his rather +mysterious career, the key to which may be found in the surmise that +until the accession of King George he was a Jacobite at heart; which +throws some doubt on his assertion in a letter that there are very few +Tories--or outlaws--in Kerry, where the Whig rule was never enforced +with great severity. He was, however, committed to 'Trally jail' (_i.e._ +Tralee) on the fear of a landing by the Pretender, whence he wrote +pleading letters, in one of which he mentions that his son-in-law, +MacCartie, has taken the oaths of abjuration; and later, when released, +he seems to have been disturbed at the large number of German +Protestants, driven out of the Palatinate by Louis the Fourteenth, who +settled at Bally M'Elligott. + +Any one who rambles about Dingle and investigates the older buildings, +so carefully examined by Mr. Hitchcock, will notice how frequent is the +emblem of a tree; and that is a conspicuous feature of the Hussey +armorial bearings. + +With reference to the allusions made in Smith's book to my ancestors, it +may be pointed out that he repeated the popular tradition at the very +time when the Husseys, like the rest of their fellow Catholics all over +the country, were disinherited and depressed, and when he could gain +nothing by doing them honour. + +As for my name, it seems to have really been Norman, and to have been De +La Huse, De La Hoese, and later Husee, Huse, and, finally, Hussey. + +Burke in his extinct _Peerage_ states that Sir Hugh Husse came to +Ireland, 17 Hen. II., and married the sister of Theobald FitzWalter, +first Butler of Ireland, and that he died seized of large possessions in +Meath. His son married the daughter of Hugh de Lacy, senior Earl of +Ulster, and their great-grandson, Sir John Hussey, Knight, first Earl of +Galtrim, was summoned to Parliament in 1374. + +Moreover, the State Papers in the Public Record Office, quoted in the +_Journal of the Royal Society of Irish Antiquaries_ for September 1893, +p. 266, prove beyond question that Nicholas de Huse or Hussy and his +father, Herbert de Huse, were land-owners of some importance in Kerry in +1307. Stirring times they must have been, of which we have no fiction +under the guise of history, though then men had to fight hard to +preserve their lives and maintain their dignity. We can imagine the +tussle, even in these degenerate days when no challenge follows the +exchange of insults, even in the House of Commons, and when the +perpetration of the most cowardly outrage in Ireland has to be induced +by preliminary potations of whisky. Of course, those old times were bad +times, but the badness was at least above board and the warfare pretty +stoutly waged. There is some sense in fighting your foe hand to hand, +but to-day when a battle is contested by armies which never see one +another, and are decimated by silent bullets, the courage needed is of a +different character, and the wicked murder of such combats is obvious. + +But let us quit war and confiscation for the equally stormy region known +as politics, wherein it may be noted that in 1613 Michael Hussey was +Member of Parliament for Dingle. + +Now for a coincidence in Christian names. + +Only two Husseys forfeited in the Desmond Rebellion, and they were John +and Maurice. + +In the Irish Parliament of James II., when Kerry returned eight members, +two of them were Husseys, and their names were John and Maurice. + +My grandfather's name was John, and his father before him was Maurice, +and I christened my two surviving sons John and Maurice. + +We do not go in for much variety of nomenclature in our family. + +My grandfather, John Hussey, lived at Dingle, his mother being a member +of the well-known Galway family of Bodkin. He was an offshoot of the +Walter Hussey who had been converted into an animated projectile by the +underground machinations of Cromwell's colonels. He was a very little +man, who had a landed property at Dingle, did nothing in particular, and +received the usual pompous eulogy on his tombstone. I never heard that +he left any papers or diaries, and I do not think that he ever went out +of Kerry--he had too much sense. + +A rather diverting story in which his sister was the heroine may be +worth telling, if only because it was so characteristic of the period. + +In those days, as now, Husseys and Dennys were closely associated, and +both my great-aunt and Miss Denny, known locally as the 'Princess +Royal,' were going to a ball. At that time it was the fashion for the +girls of the period to wear muslin skirts edged with black velvet. The +muslin was easily procured; not so the velvet, which was eventually +obtained by sacrificing an ancient pair of nether garments belonging to +my great-grandfather. + +After the early dinner then fashionable, each of the damsels was +departing for the Castle, with a swain at the door of her sedan-chair, +when our kinswoman, Lady Donoughmore, who was on the door-step watching +them off, enthusiastically shouted:-- + +'Success to the breeches! Success to the breeches!' + +Imagine the horrified confusion of the poor 'Princess Royal,' not then +eighteen. + +This episode reminds me of the modern Scottish story of a tiresome small +boy who wanted more cake at a tea-party, and threatened his parents with +dire revelations if they did not comply with his demands. As they showed +no signs of intimidation, he banged on the table to obtain attention, +and then announced:-- + +'Ma new breeks are made out of the winter curtains.' + +An incident connected with one of the earliest private carriages in +Kerry is worth telling. The vehicle in question had just been purchased +by a certain Miss Mullins, daughter of a former Lord Ventry, who +regarded it on its arrival with almost sacred awe. A dance in the +neighbourhood seemed an appropriate opportunity for impressing the +county with her newly acquired grandeur, but the night proving wet, she +insisted on reverting to a former mode of progression, and rode pillion +behind her coachman. + +The result was that she caught a violent chill, which turned to +pneumonia, and as her relatives were assembled round her deathbed, the +old lady exclaimed, between her last gasps for breath:-- + +'Thank God I never took out the carriage that wet night.' + + + + +CHAPTER II + +PARENTAGE AND EARLY YEARS + + +My father, Peter Bodkin Hussey, was for a long time a barrister at the +Irish Bar, practising in the Four Courts, where more untruths are spoken +than anywhere else in the three kingdoms, except in the House of Commons +during an Irish debate. All law in Ireland is a grave temptation to +lying, and the greatest number of Courts produced a stupendous amount of +mendacity--or it was so in earlier times, at all events. + +Did you ever hear the tale of the old woman who came to Daniel +O'Connell, outside the Four Courts, as he was walking down the steps, +and said to him:-- + +'Would your honour be so kind as to tell me the name of an honest +attorney?' + +The Liberator stopped, scratched his head in a perplexed way, and +replied:-- + +'Well now, ma'am, you bate me intoirely.' + +My father had red hair, and was very impetuous. Therefore he was +christened 'Red Precipitate' by Jerry Kellegher. + +This legal luminary was a noted wit even at the Irish Bar of that time, +a confraternity where humour was almost as rampant as +creditors--irresponsible fun, and a light purse are generally allied; +your wealthy fellow has too much care for his gold to have spirits to be +mirthful. + +The tales about him are endless. Here are just a few I have heard from +my father's lips. + +Jerry had a cousin, a wine merchant, who supplied the Bar mess, and a +complaint was lodged that the bottles were very small. + +To which Jerry retorted:-- + +'You idiot, don't you know they shrink in the washing,' which satisfied +the grumbler. And that always seemed to me the strangest part of the +story. + +In those days religious feeling ran pretty high--I will not go so far as +to say it has entirely died down to-day--and the usual Protestant toast +was:-- + +'The Pope, the Devil, and the Pretender.' + +Now, Jerry was a Roman Catholic, none the less earnest because he had a +merry way with him. On a certain Friday he was seen to be fasting by a +very foppish barrister, who thought a great deal of himself. + +He remarked to Jerry, with unnecessary impertinence:-- + +'Sir, it appears you have some of the Pope in your stomach.' + +To which Jerry, quick as a pistol-shot, retorted:-- + +'And you have the whole of the Pretender in your head,' after which +there was the devil to pay. + +There was a certain Chancellor in Ireland who was born a few years after +his father and mother had separated. As he did not like Jerry, he used +to make a great fuss about how he should pronounce his name. At last in +Court one day he burst out:-- + +'Pray tell me what you wish me to call you--Mr. Kellegher, or Mr. +Kellaire?' + +'Call me anything you like, my lud, so long as you call me born in +wedlock.' + +The Chancellor did not score that time. + +At one time there were grave complaints made about the light-hearted way +in which Jerry handled his cases, and his practice fell off. He was +conversing with a very stupid judge, lately elevated to the Bench, and +observed:-- + +'It's a very extraordinary world: you have risen by your gravity, and I +have fallen by my levity.' + +He had a son who, in my time, had a large practice at the Bar, but I +never came across him, nor did I ever hear that there was anything +remarkable about him, except that he was not so witty as his father, +which was not wonderful. + +After all, as Jerry was before my own experience, I must not delay over +him, so I will only give one more tale about him, and pass on. + +When Lord Avonmore got his peerage for voting for the Union, he had his +patent of nobility read out at a dinner-party, and it commenced, +'George, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.' + +'Stop,' cried Jerry, 'I object to that. The consideration is set out too +early in the deed.' + +This long digression over, I revert to my father about whose respectable +practice at the Four Courts I know nothing except that he allowed others +to become judges, and did not find solicitors putting his services up to +auction. + +By the death of his elder brother, he succeeded to a property, near +Dingle, on which he went to live and then got married, which was the +wisest thing that he could do. + +My mother was Mary Hickson, and her descent was this wise. + +The Murrays were said to have come to Scotland from Moravia in the first +century; and a pretty bulky history of the clan reveals as much truth +about them as the author cared to put in when tired of inventing less +probable facts. Sir Walter Murray, Lord of Drumshegrat, came to Ireland +with Edward de Bruce and was killed in battle, leaving three sons, one +of whom, christened Andrew, settled in County Down. Some of his +descendants migrated to Bantry, where, in 1670, William Murray married +Ann Hornswell, and was succeeded by his third son George, who was in +turn succeeded by his eldest son William, who married Anne Grainger. Of +the marriage, there was only one daughter Judith, who married Robert +Hickson, heir to the property. + +They had five sons and two daughters, the younger of whom married Sir +William Cox, and the elder my father. + +The superior of my dear mother never drew the breath of life. She lived +until I was twenty-five, and I never met any man who could say more than +I could for my mother, though equalled by what my own sons could say of +theirs, and she too came of the same stock, for I married my first +cousin, Julia Agnes Hickson. It is said no man is thoroughly happy until +he is suitably married, an opinion I absolutely endorse; but happiness +so great as my married life is not of public interest, and if it were, I +should not wear my heart on my sleeve for general inspection. Any +tribute from me to my dear wife would be superfluous; the devoted love +of our children has been the endorsement by the next generation of the +feelings which I have always felt towards her. + +She was the daughter of my mother's eldest brother, John Hickson, called +the Sovereign of Dingle. He had powers to collect customs, to hold a +court, and to try cases in much the same way that a lord provost had. + +On one occasion when a case was to be tried, two attorneys appeared from +the town of Tralee, about thirty miles off. Now John Hickson had his own +ideas about the attorneys of those days--ideas such as all honest men +had, but dared not express. So he sent a crier through the town to say +that the court was adjourned for a fortnight. When the appointed day +arrived, the attorneys arrived also, so again the melodious tones of the +crier proclaimed through the town that the court was adjourned for yet +another fortnight, Captain Hickson remarking to his wife that he was not +going to be helped to administer justice by those who earned their +living on injustice. The attorneys gave it up in despair, leaving +Captain Hickson to lay down the law as he liked, and to do him justice, +his ideas were more conducive to peace and order than the arguments of +Irish attorneys generally are. + +He was loved and revered by the people, so that when the cholera raged +in 1833 and 1834, and the constabulary were ordered to go into the +houses to remove the corpses (this to prevent the people 'waking' the +dead, and so spreading the contagion), they dared not enter the cabins +unless Captain Hickson went with them, as the people were so enraged at +their dead being molested that they would have killed the police. +Fortunately Captain Hickson had enough moral influence to make the +people obey the law. + +In the eighties he would have been shot in the back by some scoundrel +who had primed himself with Dutch courage from adulterated whisky. + +He raised a Yeomanry Corps at the time of the Whiteboys to guard the +country against these lawless bands, and against the dreaded French +invasion. This regiment was called the Dingle Yeomanry, and the tales +about it are many. + +On one occasion when Captain Hickson was in London, the general from +Dublin inspected the corps. In the absence of the commanding officer, +his brother was ordered to parade the battalion, and being a nervous +young man, he completely forgot all the words of command, so to the +unconcealed amusement of the old martinet from the capital, he +shouted:-- + +'Boys, do as you always do.' + +It says well for the discipline of the regiment that they did not +implicitly obey the order. + +His mother, this Mrs. Judith Hickson, was the only one of my +grand-parents I ever saw, and very little impression she has left on my +memory, except a notion that she had less sense of humour than pertains +to most Irishwomen by the blessing of God and their own mother wit. + +My father was a Roman Catholic, and my mother a Protestant. By the terms +of the marriage settlement, we were all brought up in her faith, which +occasioned a tremendous row at that time, and nowadays would never be +tolerated by the priests. + +All the same my father was an obstinate man, not disposed to care much +for the whole College of Cardinals, and indifferent if he were cursed +with bell and book. Of course he was not a good-tempered man, or he +would not have justified his nickname of Red Precipitate, but he spared +the rod with me, and failed to keep me in order. I was the youngest of a +pretty large family and the pet into the bargain. + +My eldest brother, John, was drowned at St. Malo. He was unmarried, and +his profession was to do nothing as handsomely as he could. + +James was in the 13th Light Dragoons, and subsequently in the 11th. He +saw no service, and was an excellent soldier at mess and off duty. I am +not qualified to speak with authority about his fulfilment of the +trumpery trivialities which fill up garrison life, but here is one +anecdote about him. + +Soon after Lord Cardigan took command of the 13th Light Dragoons, a +great many of the officers left the corps, and a man wrote to the papers +to say that this was chiefly due to the great expense of the mess. + +My brother retorted in print that for his part the reason was due to its +being 'incompatible with my feelings as a gentleman to remain in the +regiment as it is equally impossible to exchange out of a regiment that +has the undeserved misfortune to be commanded by his lordship.' + +Edward lived at Dingle, and was much liked by the people there. He was +an active magistrate and a conscientious man. He married and left two +sons, one in the Horse Artillery and the other a colonel in the +Engineers. They have all joined the great majority. + +Robert, who chose to be an army surgeon, died in India, leaving me +without a relation in the world of my own name. + +It reminds me of the story in _Charles O'Malley_ about the old family in +which it was hereditary not to have any children. However, I altered +that by having eleven of my own, two sons, John and Maurice, and four +daughters being alive, at the present time. More power to them say I, in +the current phrase of good-will in Kerry. + +My sister Mary died at Bath when I was born. It was her health which +prevented me from being by birth what I am at heart, a Kerry man. + +Ellen was married to Robert, elder brother of the late Knight of Kerry, +and her grand-daughter is married to Colonel Thorneycroft of Spion Kop +fame. + +Ellen's sister, Julia, married Sir Peter FitzGerald, Knight of Kerry. +The two therefore married brothers, and if there had been any more they +might have done the same. + +I suppose I ought to give the date of my birth, but despite all the +efforts of those in Ireland, who loved me so much that they became +active agents to convey me to heaven, I cannot yet give you the date of +my death. + +My friend, Mr. Townshend Trench, is, I believe, writing a book to prove +the world will come to an end in about thirty years' time, but that will +see me out, and those then alive may discover that the Great Landlord +has given the tenants an extension of the lease of the earth. + +I was born on December 17, 1824, and I have none of those infantile +recollections which are such an insult on the general attention when put +in print. + +Still my earliest memory is so characteristic of much that was to follow +that I set it down. + +The very first thing I remember is being placed on the seat of a trap +beside the local R.M. (Resident Magistrate), and thus going out, +escorted by a party of soldiers, to collect tithes. + +I clapped my hands with glee, but an old woman by the road-side said +that it was a shame to take out that innocent babe on such bloodthirsty +work. + +I could ride before I could walk, and was always fond of the exercise. +What Irishman is not? + +My taste for this was fostered by my father, who had broken his leg when +young, and not only disliked walking, but had a slight limp, which did +not prevent him being in the saddle for many hours each day. + +As a child, I led a fresh, natural, out-of-doors, healthy life, exposed +to wind and rain, and all the better for both. There are very few trees +about Dingle, and I quite agree with the remark of an American that it +was the most open country he had ever seen. + +I was always bathing, but I never got drowned, not even in liquor, +although I have sat with some of the best in that capacity. I have +myself been pretty temperate in everything, to which I attribute my +longevity. And yet I am not sure that any rule can be laid down in this +respect, for I have known men who saturated themselves in alcohol until +they ought to have been kept out of sight of all decent people live +longer than those that have kept straight in every way. + +In proof of this, let me quote the delightful account of a centagenarian +out of Smith's _History of Kerry_, a book already referred to, and which +can now be finally put back on its shelf, dry as dust, as Carlyle might +say, 'but pregnant with food for thought, ay, and for grim +mirth,'--those are not exactly the words of the Sage of Chelsea, but +just have the rub of his tongue about them. + +'Mr. Daniel MacCarty died in February 1751,' as the account said, 'in +the 112th year of his age. He lived during his whole life in the barony +of Iveragh, and buried four wives. He married a fifth in the +eighty-fourth year of his age, and she but a girl of fourteen, by whom +he had several children. He was always a very healthy man, no cold ever +affecting him, and he could not bear the warmth of a shirt at night, but +put it under his pillow. He drank for many of the last years of his life +great quantities of rum and brandy, which he called _the naked truth_; +and if, in compliance to other gentlemen, he drank claret or punch, he +always took an equal quantity of spirits to qualify those liquors: this +he called a wedge. No man ever saw him spit. His custom was to walk +eight or ten miles in a winter's morning over mountains with greyhounds +and finders, and he seldom failed to bring home a brace of hares. He was +an innocent man, and inherited the social virtues of the antient +Milesians. He was of a florid complexion, looked amazingly well for a +person of his age and manners of life, for his use of spirituous liquors +was prodigious, a custom that much prevails in these baronies.' + +Indeed, no one who was slightly acquainted with the characteristics of +the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Kerry would suggest that total +abstinence was even to-day their predominant virtue. + +It is the fashion to say that it is a good thing to be one of a large +family. From a financial point of view I am quite certain that the +reverse is preferable, and as I was the youngest of nine--two others +besides those I mentioned, James and Anne, coming to early demises--I +received as many kicks and cuffs from my brethren as I did halfpence and +affection from my parents. So, like Thackeray, as a child I sympathised +with Lord MacTurk who wished to cut off the heads of his brethren. Now I +have survived them all, and I fondly regret the sounds of voices that +are still. + +But as I sit in my arm-chair and ruminate over the past, which every old +man must do in the intervals of reading the _Times_, going to the club, +or losing his money by careful attention to speculation, I have the +consolation of remembering that I did as much mischief as any other +child. To be a really good child means that the animal is a prig or +unhealthy. To-day I am fond of all my grandchildren, but the one I like +best is the one which proves himself or herself the naughtiest for the +moment. + +This is a hard saying for parents, and not a good precept for the young, +but there is solid truth in it and a bit of common-sense too, for it is +best to get the original sin out in the years of innocence. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +EDUCATION + + +Perhaps the biggest wrench in life is going to school. It may not seem +so very much afterwards--as the boy said of the tooth when he looked at +it in the dentist's forceps--but the wrench is really bad. + +I learned my letters from my mother, and picked up a few other +smatterings before I had daily lessons from a tutor at Dingle. Strange +to say, a very good classical education could have been obtained there +in the thirties, better, so far as I can estimate, than could have been +expected from a town double the size at the same period in England. + +At the age of ten I was sent to Huddard's, then a very sound school in +Dublin. I was well enough taught, not caned enough for my deserts, +though more than sufficed for my feelings, and sufficiently fed, but at +the end of two years I had to leave owing to ill health. + +An apothecary, who selfishly recollected that the more medicines I took +the better for him if not for me, converted me into a human receptacle +for his empirical abominations, but another surgeon, who was rather +tardily called in, packed me off to the country. + +One of the leading Dublin physicians certified that I had only one lung; +but as the other has served me faithfully for sixty-nine years, I am +rather sceptical as to the accuracy of his diagnosis. + +I remember very little about Huddard's, except that it was in Mountjoy +Square, and about a hundred boys were herded there in unsought +proximity. We boarders always fought the town boys, but also had to +cajole them in humiliating ways to smuggle us in contraband articles of +food. The meals at Huddard's were fairly good, no doubt, as school fare +goes, but the sugary stick-jaw stuff for which the soul of a boy longs +was naturally not part of the official bill of fare. The bullying was of +a reasonable nature, or at all events I could hold my own with the best +of them, being indifferent to punishment so long as I could hit out +effectively from the shoulder. One of the ushers, a dwarf of malignant +disposition, was an awful tyrant, and we always had an ardent desire to +tar and feather him, only we did not know how to set about the operation +even if we had ventured to attempt it. + +After a happy interval of convalescence at home, I was sent to a smaller +school kept by Mr. Hogg at Limerick. One of the boys there subsequently +became that illustrious ornament of the Bench, Lord Justice Barry. + +He was a very eloquent man, counted so even at the Irish Bar, where a +certain high-flown loquacity is pretty prevalent, and had a great +repute. He arrived at Cork once, and had to fight his way through a +dense throng to get into court. On inquiring the reason of the crowd, he +was told that everybody wanted to hear the big speech that was expected +from Councillor Barry. + +'Well, unless you make way for me it's disappointed every mother's son +of you will be, for I am twin to Councillor Barry, and I never heard +tell he had a brother.' + +He carried on the old-fashioned habit of after-dinner conviviality, and +used to sit drinking three hours after the wine had been put on the +table, which was why I never accepted his hospitality in after years, +for, as I said before, I am a man of moderation. + +In my young days it was the regular thing to bring in whisky-punch after +dinner; and for many years I regularly took one tumbler and never had a +second, not once to the best of my recollection. + +There is a good deal of change in the habits of life. When I was a boy +coffee was unknown for breakfast, cocoa had not become known as a +beverage, and tea was regularly drunk. We seldom took lunch, nor did the +ladies, and afternoon tea was unheard of. Instead, tea was brought into +the drawing-room about eight in the evening, and was always drunk very +weak and sweet. In those times it was invariably from China and pretty +costly. + +We dined at five. Dinners were very solid. Soup was a pretty regular +opening, but could be dispensed with without comment, and it was almost +always greasy. At Dingle fish was pretty plentiful, but sweets were +regarded as a great extravagance. + +I remember, when grown up, dining with an elderly man near Cahirciveen, +who had a turbot for which he must have paid at least eight shillings, +but he apologised for not having a pudding on account of the necessity +for economy, though a pudding would not have cost him eightpence. + +Made dishes were very few and badly cooked. The food was chiefly joints, +and, in nine cases out of ten, roast mutton. Vegetables were not so much +eaten as now, always excepting potatoes, which were consumed in large +quantities. There was practically no fruit, except a few apples and +oranges at Christmas. + +Men sat very long over their wine. Sherry used to be served at dinner +and often claret afterwards, but the great beverage was port. I am +inclined to think that port has sensibly deteriorated since my young +days. It was as a rule more fruity then, but we never talked of our +livers, as subalterns and undergraduates do nowadays. + +Port used to come direct to Dingle. It was an easy harbour 'to run,' and +there was some smuggling. + +On one occasion some soldiers were sent to protect the gauger, who was +bent on making an important seizure. A few of the inhabitants of Dingle +took the opportunity of entertaining the officer, and whilst he +slumbered from the effects of their hospitality, the opportunity for +making the seizure was lost. + +There is no particular reason why I should tell the following story +here, but it is worth recording, and I don't know any other part of my +reminiscences where it is more likely to slip in appropriately. + +In Kerry in 1815, the farmers had been an extra long time fattening up +their pigs. After the Peace, prices all fell, and though the farmers +were reluctant, they had to yield to circumstances. One day the dealers +were buying at extremely low rates in Tralee market, when the postman +brought the news that Napoleon had escaped from Elba. + +Instantly all the farmers broke off their bargains, and proceeded to +start homeward with their swine, shouting:-- + +'Hurrah for Boney that rose the pigs.' + +My mother often told me of this scene, which she herself witnessed. + +There was always a distinct sympathy with France, owing to the smuggling +from that land, and after the English had prohibited the exportation of +wool, it was smuggled into France, whence were brought back silks and +brandy. + +The geography of Kerry is ideal for landing contraband store, and I +should say even more was done in this respect locally than on the coast +of Scotland. + +There is a certain amount of good-will between people whose mutual +interests are similar until they fall out, and the hope of a French +landing in Ireland, though never very serious, always fanned the native +disaffection to the Government in the West. + +The veracity of an Irishman is never considerable, for as a rule he will +say what he thinks likely to please you rather than state any unpleasant +fact. Of course the gauger--excise officer--was an especially unpopular +personage, and I doubt if a tithe of the lies told to him were ever +considered worthy of being confessed at all. + +O'Connell's family made much money by smuggling, which was a pursuit +that carried not the slightest moral reproach. Indeed 'to go agin the +Government' in any sort of way has always been an act of +super-excellence. + +The most lucrative side of the commercial enterprises of Morgan +O'Connell was his trade in contraband goods. In Derrynane Bay, he and +his brother landed cargoes which were sent over the hills on horses' +backs to receivers in Tralee. + +Of O'Connell himself most stories have been told, but it is difficult to +indicate the enormous influence he had over the lower classes in his own +country. + +Years before George IV. had aptly expressed the situation amid his +maudlin tears over Catholic emancipation. + +'Wellington is King of England, O'Connell is King of Ireland, and I +suppose I'm only considered Dean of Windsor.' + +As an advocate, the Liberator had many of the attributes of Kenealy, and +his popularity was so great that he was often briefed in every case at +an assize. + +There is no doubt that he bullied judges, was allowed enormous laxity in +browbeating opposing counsel and witnesses, and, like Father O'Flynn, +had a wonderful way with him, so far as the jury was concerned. + +When I saw him in Dublin, I at once realised how true must be the bulk +of the stories of his great conceit. He has been elevated into a +superhuman being by the posthumous praise of hundreds of blatant mob +orators. + +Dan had two brothers, John and James. The latter was the first baronet, +and noted for his witty sayings. + +He presided at a dinner given for the purpose of presenting an address +to the manager of a bank. On the toast of the Army and Navy being +proposed, the only man who could return thanks for the former was a +solicitor named Murphy, who said that if he were forced to respond to +the toast, it clearly proved what a peaceful community they lived in, +adding:-- + +'It is such a long time since I laid by the sash and the sword, that I +have forgotten my drill.' + +'But you have never forgotten the charge,' observed the chairman, who +had a long bill from Murphy in his pocket at the time. + +On another occasion, a lady spoke to James about subscribing to the +Roman Catholic Cathedral at Killarney. + +'For my part,' she observed, 'it's little I can do in my lifetime, but I +have left all my money for the good of my soul.' + +'I believe, ma'am,' says James, 'you were an original shareholder in the +Provincial Bank. The shares are now quoted at eighty and they pay six +per cent. That is very much like twenty-one per cent. on the original +capital.' + +'I am not a clever man like you at making these calculations,' replies +the lady; 'I have higher and holier things to think about.' + +'Don't say that again to me, ma'am,' says he. 'I put my money into +farms, and I get five per cent, from a grumbling and unsatisfactory set +of tenants. And what are you getting? Twenty-one per cent. in this world +and salvation in the next. It's the most damnable interest I ever heard +tell of, either in this world or any other.' + +Yet another tale about him. + +He had received an unconscionable bill of costs from an attorney, and +happening to meet a Roman Catholic bishop in Cork, he asked him if an +attorney could ever be saved. + +'Why not? Even an extortioner can be if he make ample restitution in his +life-time, and dies fortified with the rites of the Church.' + +'May be so, my lord,' replied Sir James, 'you know more about these +things than I do, but if it is as you say, you are taking a confounded +amount of unnecessary trouble about the rest of us.' + +The bishop was not a bit disconcerted. + +'I am an honest labourer striving to be worthy of my hire,' he +explained. + +And at that Sir James left it, because he said it was not respectful to +ask too many invidious questions about a man who had the making of your +soul at his own will. + +All this is a digression from my education, which was as desultory as +these reminiscences. + +After a spell at Limerick I was again sent home ill, and for six months +I really had to be treated as an invalid. I was always very fond of +books, notably history, and I think I have read pretty well every book +published upon the history of Ireland. It was at this time I began +teaching myself a bit, and that is the teaching which is better than any +other, except what one has to learn against one's own will and for one's +own advantage in the school of life. Like a good many other people I was +led to history not only by a shortage of lighter books at home, but also +by curiosity aroused by the novels of Sir Walter Scott. In the way of +promoting better reading, I believe Scott has been far more beneficial +than any other writer of fiction in English. + +I was for a short time at school in Exeter, and then at a rather rough +establishment at Woolwich, where my father wished me to have the tuition +in mathematics which could be obtained from the masters in the Academy +at irregular times. By all accounts the fagging and bullying in that +establishment were appalling. The headmaster of the school I was at was +an able fellow, and many of the cadets used to come to have a grind with +him. Some of their tales were 'hair-erectors,' as the Americans say. + +One new boy had the misfortune to sprain his ankle, and to incur the +fury of the head of dormitory on the same evening. The latter tied his +game ankle up to his thigh, and fastening him by the wrist to the bottom +of the bed, made him stand the better part of the night on his bad +ankle. + +This reminds me of the story of a certain royal prince going to an +educational establishment and being asked who his parents were. On his +reply, the senior--or 'John'--gave him a terrific _cuff_ on the side of +the head saying:-- + +'That's for your father, the prince.' + +And before the half-stunned boy recovered, he received a stinging blow +on the other ear with:-- + +'That's for your mother, the princess, and now black my boots.' + +His Highness could say nothing, but in time he grew to be the biggest +and the worst bully. + +Then the younger brother of his former tormentor came, and the prince +sent for him, and telling him what his brother had done some years +before, made him bend down and flogged him so unmercifully that he had +to go into hospital. + +Years after, when in an important position, he met his former victim, +now a general, and congratulating him on his career said:-- + +'Perhaps I made your success by giving you that tanning at Sandhurst.' + +I wonder whether there was murder in the heart of the grim old warrior +at the recollection. Of course that would not be strange, for many a +time officers have been actually shot in action by their own men. + +Here is a perfectly true story, only neither the men nor the officer +need be specified. + +A colonel who had grossly mismanaged the regiment knew his fate was +sealed. + +So when the men paraded for the engagement, he said:-- + +'I know you mean to shoot me to-day, but for God's sake don't do so +until we have won the battle.' + +This was greeted with a cheer, and he came back safe to be decorated and +to play whist at his club as badly as any member in it. + +I am not sure that cards ought not to be considered part of every lad's +training. If a man goes through life without touching a card, he +probably loses a good deal of innocent amusement, and debars himself +from much pleasant society. If he learns to play when grown up, he may +find it a costly and unsatisfactory branch of education. But if he is +taught to play reasonably well as a boy, and is shown that excellent +games can be had without gambling--I do not consider an infinitesimal +stake, in proportion to his means, gambling--he will have an extra +amusement made for him and a relaxation after his day's work. + +A near relative of my own gets his club cronies to play bridge with his +son, aged eighteen, and pays his losses, in order that he may be +thoroughly grounded in the game. The lad is a capital boy, and all the +better for his early association with elder men on their own level. + +One of the resources of my old age is three games of picquet every night +after dinner with my wife, and very much I enjoy them. There is often +the fashionable bridge played in the room by my children and their +friends, but I have never taken a hand, though in younger days I derived +a fair amount of diversion from whist. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +FARMING + + +My years of schooling having come to an end, I was back in Ireland in +full enjoyment of youth, high spirits, and thoughtless carelessness. +These holiday times were delightful. I could be in the saddle all day if +I liked, was free to shoot or bathe as I pleased, had dogs at my +disposal, could pass the time of day with all sorts and conditions of +men--a thing which I have relished all my life--and in fact led the gay +existence of the younger offshoot of an Irish squire. + +In those days things were not so impecunious in Ireland as they +subsequently became, but there was always a vivacious Hibernian scorn +for false pretension, and a determination to have the best possible +time, such as you can read in Lever's novels of old, and the capital +tales of those two clever ladies, Miss Martin and Miss Somerville, +to-day. + +It is perfectly true that there are many Irish landlords in sporting +counties who cannot have three hundred a year, and yet all their sons +and daughters manage to hunt four days a week. + +This would be impossible out of Ireland, and is absolutely +incomprehensible even there; but the fact remains that it is done, and +all one can remark is to echo the patter of the conjuror:-- + +'Wonderful, isn't it?' + +I, however, was not destined to be left a derelict at home, as falls to +the hapless lot of far too many good fellows in Ireland. + +There were a good many family counsels, and the authorities could not +make up their minds what to do with me. However, I thought farming was +the idlest occupation, and suggested it should be my profession--an idea +hailed with rapture, principally because it saved everybody the trouble +of racking their brains about me. + +Personally, I have often regretted that what in modern phrase may be +called the 'Stevenson boom' did not coincide with my search for a +career. Big posts were in due time going for engineers; and those young +men who had the stamp of apprenticeship to, or association with, the +great man could get almost anything in the days of the fever for railway +construction. + +Even later than the period I am now recalling, the journey from Dublin +to Dingle would take more than two days, and, so far as I can recollect, +it certainly took five from Dingle to London. Those coaching journeys +were terrible experiences in wet weather, for you were drenched outside +and suffocated inside, whilst you paid more than three times the present +railway fare for the miserable privilege of this uncomfortable means of +transit. + +The old posting hotels used to be uncommonly good and comfortable, +whilst they did a thriving trade. The coach purported to give you ample +time to breakfast and dine at certain capital hostels, but by a private +arrangement between mine host and the guard and driver, the meals used +to be abruptly closured in order to save the landlord's larder. + +On the way down from Dublin, a thirty minutes' pause was allowed at Naas +for breakfast; but on the occasion of my story, as well as on every +other, after a quarter of an hour the waiter announced the coach was +just starting. + +Everybody ran out to regain their seats, except one commercial +traveller, who picked up all the teaspoons and put them in the teapot +before calmly resuming his meal. + +Back came the waiter with:-- + +'Not a moment to spare, sir.' + +'All right,' said the traveller; 'which of the passengers has taken the +teaspoons?' + +The waiter gave one glance of horror, and then proceeded to have every +one on the coach examined for the missing articles. + +By the time that the commercial traveller had calmly finished a hearty +meal there was nearly a riot, and then he emerged from the coffee-room, +and suggested that the waiter had better look in the teapot. + +By the way, I don't fancy that he regularly travelled on that road, for +he would have been a marked man at Naas for years to come. + +I was seventeen at the time when I had decided, with parental +acquiescence, to be a farmer, and I was sent to learn my profession to +the south of Scotland, to a farmer named Bogue. + +I there acquired, at all events, one curious fact, which has stuck in my +head ever since, and it is thus:-- + +Scotland and Ireland are governed by the same Sovereign, Lords, and +Commons. Scotland is the best farmed country in Europe, and Ireland +about the worst. + +One pair of horses in Scotland were then supposed to cultivate fifty +acres of tillage, and in Ireland the average was one horse to five +acres. Indeed it is in both cases much the same to-day. + +In reality a farm is a workshop from which you turn out as much produce +as possible. But on an Irish farm it is the habit to squeeze out the +last possible ounce without putting anything in, for it is not run with +an eye on future years, but only in a hand-to-mouth, beggar-the-soil +kind of way, without a thought beyond contemporary exigencies. + +There were several other pupils with Bogue, but I stuck to the business +more than the rest, who were perpetually gallivanting into Kelso, or +even going up to Edinburgh, where they learnt nothing which taught them +their trade or put money into their pockets. Therefore it happened that +I was selected by Bogue to have an excellent practical demonstration of +farming, after this wise. He had a pretty sharp illness, and left me for +a short time full management of all his six hundred acres, and that bit +of responsibility made a man of me once and for all. I stepped out of +boyhood instantly, and became an adult in feelings and bearing; but to +this day I hope my sense of fun is only keener than it was as a lad. + +I acquired a good deal of common sense in Scotland, and learnt to +observe for myself, a thing many men never acquire, and on their +deathbeds they will never be able to enumerate the opportunities they +have consequently lost. + +As I was to be a farmer, I thought it was no use to confine my attention +to the one I was on, but contracted the habit, when work was at all +slack, of going about to pick up what wrinkles I could from other +proprietors, as well as to make observations on my own account. + +Subsequently I have made two agricultural tours through Scotland for the +same purpose, getting as far north as Sutherland, in order to find out +how the Highland farmer dealt with more barren soil under a less +propitious climate. I have noted more improvement in farming in Ayrshire +in the interval than in any other county. Yet there is a letter in +existence by Burns in which he observes that Ayrshire lairds are getting +English and East Lothian notions about rents, and raising them so high +that it will soon be a wilderness. + +The fact is that the Scotsman is a farmer by nature, but the Irishman is +a farmer by inclination. + +An Irishman tries to exist on land cultivated by the minimum amount of +labour, and does not farm a bit better if his land is cheaper. + +Every farmer in Scotland and England is laying down his land in grass, +and giving up tillage as fast as he can. It is notorious that Ireland is +more suitable for pasture than tillage, and yet the Government have +constituted a Board to break up the rich grazing lands in Ireland and +divide them into small tillage farms, on which the tenants could not get +a decent living even if they had it free of rent and taxes. + +Old Bogue was a bachelor by profession, and his polygamistic tendencies +were duly concealed, though pretty generally known, as most things are +in the country. He had as housekeeper a woman so skinny that it made you +feel cold to look at her, and her disposition was on a par with her +appearance. Of course, it suited the national thrift, particularly +congenial to Bogue, to feed us meanly, but we did not relish her +parsimonious economies. + +There was one thing none of us might shirk, and that was regular +attendance at kirk on Sunday. I have been a church-going man all my +life--in my late years in London I have especially appreciated the +beautiful services at St. Anne's, Soho--but the kirk has always been the +breaking of precious ointment over an unworthy head, so far as I am +concerned. The improvised prayer, that is always so carefully prepared, +and is often one delivered in regular rotation, always seems to me +rather humbugging for that reason, and the tremendously long sermons, +which have a minimum of three quarters of an hour, no matter what the +text or the ability of the preacher, are to me a vexation of spirit. I +have occasionally heard good sermons in kirk, but I think the standard +of Scottish preaching has always been overrated. + +Moreover, I agree in the main with the American critic of sermons, who +said if a preacher can't strike ile in ten minutes he has got a bad +organ, or he is boring in the wrong place. It is always unfair to bore +in the pulpit, because the congregation have no means of retaliation +except by subsequently staying away, and in the country that is not +compatible with the public worship of their Maker. + +We have all heard the traditional stories about the divines who, having +found the sand of the hour-glass exhausted, calmly reversed it and +continued for a second spell, to the complete satisfaction of the +congregations. But in my experience only one preacher could have done +that without unendurably provoking me, and he was Archbishop Magee, of +whom I shall have something to say when I am dealing with County Cork. + +For the Scots in character I conceived much respect and little +enthusiasm. If there is anything more remarkable than the hard-working +powers of the Scottish farmer it is his capacity for hard drinking. But +that only makes him offensive in his brief conviviality and morose in +the long subsequent sulkiness. Whereas I defy you to be seriously angry +with a drunken Irishman, if you have a due sense of humour--and without +that you have lost the salt of life. To my mind there is something +austere in the better characteristics of the Scot, and also something +hypocritical about his morality. You always hear that professed in +Scotland, and never in Ireland. But in the latter fewer illegitimate +children are born than in any other country in Europe, and in +Scotland--notably Glasgow--the high percentage has become sadly +proverbial. Yet, despite these adverse points, the Scottish character +has a native grandeur which must provoke admiration, though all my +warmth of feelings goes to my own oft-erring countrymen. + +I returned to Ireland in 1843 with the intention of farming in Kerry on +the scientific system I had learned in Berwickshire. However, I found +the land so subdivided that it was not only difficult, but impossible, +to obtain a farm of sufficient size to return a reasonable percentage on +the necessary outlay. The population of Kerry was then 293,880, and the +land was divided into 25,848 farms, the holders of which, I may say, +entirely depended for existence on 26,030 acres of potatoes. To give an +example of the intense love of subdivision, I knew a case where one +horse was the property of three 'farmers,' and as they differed as to +who was to pay for the fourth shoe, they sold the horse, which was +bought by an uncle of mine. + +Few farmers ate meat except at Christmas. They wore homespun flannel and +frieze, and their only luxury, whisky, was obtainable at a quarter of +its present price. A young couple were considered ready to start in +married life when they had obtained a 'farm,' consisting of a couple of +acres for potatoes and a mud hovel for themselves; and thus a +population, dependent on a precarious root, increased very rapidly. It +was thicker near the sea coast than inland. The rents then were about +double what they are now (though half what they had been at the +beginning of the nineteenth century), yet, with good potato crops, +people seemed content and times were fairly good. I should say there was +not such general drunkenness as in later times, and very little porter +was consumed in those days--at all events outside Dublin. What schools +there were were shockingly bad, and reading, not to say writing, was an +exceptional accomplishment, not only among the labouring classes, but +among those who held their heads much higher. This of course impressed +me coming straight from Scotland, where a really grand education has +been the national birthright for generations. + +I began to farm about sixty acres near Dingle, and gave my entire time +to it, an assiduity I have compared in my mind to that of the Norwegian +reclaiming the little arable spots on the mountain. We both worked +pretty hard for very scanty results. I did not even live on my tiny +property, but with my mother--my father had died after I returned from +my English schools and before I went to Kelso. + +Still matters were not long satisfactory, owing to the failure of the +potato crop in 1845, when the mortality became fearful in consequence. + +So at the very end of the year I migrated from Kerry to become an +assistant land agent in Cork, and thus really embarked on the profession +of my life--one which, on the whole, I have most thoroughly and heartily +enjoyed. + +I hoped then that I had not done with my beloved Kerry, and my +association with that great kingdom has indeed been lifelong. I have +always understood the feeling of the Irish emigrants who have had sods +of their native earth sent out to them to the New World. _Heimweh_ is +after all a good thing, and Kerry to me would always seem to be +appealing, however far I had roamed. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +LAND AGENT IN CORK + + +Had I been able to obtain a reasonably large farm near Dingle, I should +never have become a land agent, and I most certainly should never have +given evidence before any Commission. + +In default of adequate land accommodation, I embarked on my profession +by becoming assistant land agent to my brother-in-law, the Knight of +Kerry, who was agent to Sir George Colthurst. I lived with the Knight at +Inniscarra in County Cork, not far from Blarney. + +From that time onward I worked steadily, and as I take my ease at the +Carlton to-day, I really feel I have done as much honest labour in my +career as has any man. + +In proof I may cite a day's record some years later, taken almost at +random from my diary. + +I began with an hour in my Cork office, went by train to Killarney, a +journey of three and a half hours, where I spent three hours in my +office, and then by train on to Tralee, a further one and a quarter +hours, where I had an hour and a half in my office in that town, and +then drove out to Edenburn, seven miles, to sleep. That done fairly +often makes a decided strain on endurance and mental concentration, +because the affairs at each place were of course for different landlords +and needed the memorising of a fresh section of business all absolutely +intrusted to me, whilst the train service in Kerry then and now is not +calculated to promote mental tranquillity or facilitate business. + +Having alluded to my diary, I had better explain that I kept no journal +until 1852, and subsequently to that year it consisted merely of bald +memoranda of my movements; therefore it has not been of the least use in +preparing these reminiscences. + +In 1846 I became a Government Inspector of Land Improvements and +Drainage Works, and in that capacity went to Bantry, where I saw the +appalling destitution caused by the famine, with which I shall deal in +the next chapter. + +I had made application for this post before I left Kerry, directly I had +found my farm too small for my requirements, and I received the +appointment from the Chairman of the Irish Board of Works. Practically +speaking the pay was about a pound a day with allowances. + +This post in no way interfered with my duties as a land agent then, but +I afterwards resigned it owing to the increasing exigencies of my +profession. + +It may be as well to detail for readers other than Irish what are the +avocations of a land agent, especially as the class in Ireland will +probably soon be as extinct as the dodo. + +The duties of an Irish land agent comprise a great deal of office work, +drawing up agreements with tenants, receiving rent, superintending +agricultural and all landlords' improvements, sitting as magistrate and +representing the landlord when the latter is absent at poor-law +meetings, road sessions, and on grand juries. + +With very rare exceptions the salary has been five per cent, on the +rents received. So the agent has been paid five per cent, on all the +money he has put into the landlord's pockets, whilst an architect has +always received five per cent. on all he took out of them, an +arrangement which in the latter instance has not worked at all well for +the landlords. + +The tendency has gradually been to consolidate and amalgamate land +agencies, for as the difficulty of getting rents increased, more +competent men of experience and judgment were needed by the landlords. +As a proof of the trust reposed in me, I may mention that at one time I +received the rents of one-fifth of the whole county of Kerry--and that +in the worst times. + +Such a task is not one to be envied, however joyously a man may take up +the burden of his daily toil, and of course the agents as the outward +and visible signs of the distant or absentee landlords obtained the +greater share of the hatred felt for the latter. + +In the worst period Lord Derby received threats that if he did not +reduce his rents, his agent would be murdered. + +He coolly replied:-- + +'If you think you will intimidate me by shooting my agent you are +greatly mistaken.' + +That is exactly the reply the agents desired the landlords to make, but +it did not conduce to making their own existences any the more secure or +enviable. + +Of course in the due working out of the Wyndham Act, land agents will be +utterly ruined. + +There are no openings for them because they are too old to commence +learning another profession, and they will not get employment under the +County Council because they belong to the landlord class and have +unflinchingly fought the battles of the landlords. + +The agents are a class who have devoted their time and risked their +lives in order to get in the rents due to their employers, and there is +not the smallest chance--save in a few isolated and exceptional +cases--of their being kept on when the landlords will have only their +own demesne in their own hands and employ some underling, such as a +bailiff in England, to collect the stray rents of the few cottagers who +may still chance to be tenants. + +Judge Ross stated that there was no more deserving or painstaking class +in Ireland than the land agents, and he considered it a great hardship +that under the Wyndham Act they obtain no compensation. + +By agreement in most cases they receive three per cent. of the purchase +money, but that is a very poor sinking fund to provide for a middle-aged +gentleman, who has probably a family to support; and absolute bankruptcy +must be the result if there is, as on several large properties, an agent +with a couple of assistants. + +When the Ashbourne Act was passed in 1885, it was never contemplated +that the purchases would be on a wholesale scale. As a matter of fact +only a few estates were sold, and on the purchase price of one of those +for which I was agent I received two per cent. It should be also borne +in mind that the profession of a land agent in Ireland is on a far +higher social plane than in England. In many cases the younger son or +brother of the landlord is the agent for the family property; and in +some instances this has worked uncommonly well. In other cases, +gentlemen by birth conducted the business, or else the administration of +several estates was consolidated and carried on from one office. + +In every case the billet was regarded as one for life, only forfeited by +gross misconduct, and the relations between landlord and agent have been +nearly always of an intimate and cordial character. Each agent began as +an assistant, obtaining an independent post by selection and influence, +and few entered the profession unless they had reasonable prospects of a +definite post on their own account in due course. + +In my time the landlord was the sole judge of the agent's +qualifications, but the profession has become a branch of the +Engineering Surveyor's Institution. + +As may be imagined, there are now remarkably few candidates for the +necessary examinations, because it is virtually annihilated. + +Things were very different when I embarked without mistrust on a career +which has landed me comfortably into my eighties, although under +Government every appointment has to be compulsorily vacated at the age +of sixty-five. No one starting now could anticipate any such result in +old age, and so without affectation I can say _autres temps autres +moeurs_, which may be freely translated as 'present times much the +worst.' + +More pleasant is it to turn to a few brief memories of Cork. It was a +cheerful place at the time I am speaking of, for there was plenty of +entertaining and truly genial hospitality. The general depression caused +by famine, fever, and Fenians hardly affected the great town, and after +those funereal shadows had once passed, Cork was as gay as any one could +reasonably desire. + +The townsfolk are very witty and clever at giving nicknames, as the +following little tales will show. + +When a citizen in Cork makes money, he generally builds a house, and the +higher up the hill his house is situated, the more is thought of him. + +Mr. Doneghan, a highly respectable tallow chandler, built a fine +residence early in the nineteenth century, which he called Waterloo. + +The populace said it should have been named Talavera (_i.e._ +Tallow-vera), and as that it is known to this day. + +Mr. Maguire, who was Member for Cork, and Lord Mayor of the City into +the bargain, was very influential in the promotion of a gas company. +With the money he made out of it, he reared a rather lofty mansion, +which was promptly christened the Lighthouse. + +All butter in Cork is sold at the wharves, and the casks are branded +with the quality of the butter they contain. One man made a fortune out +of the first class butter on its merits, and out of the sixth class +butter, which he put in the first class casks and sold on the testimony +of the brand on the wood. This became in time notorious to most people +except the more unsophisticated of his clients, and when he embarked on +bricks and mortar his house was generally known as Brandenburg. + +One more and I have done with these baptismal sobriquets. + +A lady on a Queenstown steamer had put her foot down the bunker's hole, +and broke her ankle through the accident. She brought an action against +the company, duly proved negligence on the part of the employes, and +obtained substantial damages. These considerably assisted her in +erecting a rather attractive mansion, which she decidedly resented being +called Bunker's Hill. + +Some people have their own ideas about the definition of a gentleman, as +a certain rather diminutive racing man found to his cost. + +It was at a meeting close to Cork, and he was standing next a burly +farmer close to the rails when the horses were nearly ready to start. + +Pointing to one disreputable-looking ruffian about to mount, he +observed:-- + +'That fellow has no pretensions to be a gentleman-rider.' + +The farmer caught him by the collar of his coat and the seat of his +breeches, and shook him as a mastiff would a rat. + +'Mind yourself, small man,' said he, 'that's a recognised gentleman in +these parts.' + +There was a mighty shindy, and when the farmer was told his victim was a +prominent English peer, he retorted:-- + +'Well, that won't make him a judge of an Irish gentleman.' + +In the last chapter I mentioned that the preacher I most admired was +Archbishop Magee. I had the privilege of frequently hearing him in Cork, +where he drew crowded congregations to a temporary church--the cathedral +being under repair. + +I never heard any one who so magnetised me from the pulpit, and I am by +no means prone to admire sermons. There was a sort of mesmerism in the +very eloquence of Magee which kept my eyes riveted on his lips--rather +big, bulgy lips in an expressive, sensitive face. An hour beneath him +sped marvellously fast, and more than once in Cork I have heard him +preach for that length. The impression he made on me has never been +effaced, and it was with no surprise I learnt in due course that he +became Archbishop of York. + +The late Lord Derby said that the most eloquent speech he ever heard in +or out of the House of Lords was Magee's speech on the Church Act, the +peroration of which--quoting from memory after many years--ran:--'My +Lords, I will not, I cannot, and I dare not vote for that most +unhallowed bill which lies on your Lordships' table.' + +Have all Magee stories been told? + +I am afraid so. Yet in the hope that a few may be new to some, though +old to others--who are invited to skip them--here are just a small +batch. + +When he was a dean, he one day attended a debate on tithes in the House +of Commons, and was subsequently putting on his overcoat, when a Radical +Member courteously assisted him, whereupon he remarked:-- + +'I am very much obliged to you, sir, for reversing the policy of your +friends inside, who are taking the coats off our backs.' + +This was equalled by the wife of an Irish landlord who lost her purse in +the Ladies' Gallery of the House of Commons. + +Mrs. Gladstone, who had been sitting next her, after kindly assisting in +the ineffectual search, observed:-- + +'I hope there was not much in it.' + +'No, it was a nice little purse I had had for a long time, but thanks to +your husband there was nothing in it.' + +An Irish story of Magee's concerns an Orange clergyman in Fermanagh, who +asked leave to preach a sermon by Magee. Now, this clergyman, who was an +ambitious man, was rather ashamed of his mother, and would not let her +live at the parsonage, but had taken lodgings for her in the town. +Magee, moreover, always a moderate man, did not like Orange sermons, and +most certainly had never composed one. As he good naturedly did not want +to offend the other, he said he would give him a capital sermon to +deliver if he--Magee--might select the text. + +'Of course, of course,' assented the other; 'what is it?' + +'"From that time His disciple took her to his own house."' + +Even this was hardly so cutting as his remark, when a bishop, to a +clergyman of whom he did not think highly, but who upbraided him for not +giving him a living. + +'Sir, if it were raining livings, the utmost I could do would be to lend +you an umbrella.' + +Mention of Magee suggests an ecclesiastical tale concerning a most +convivial attorney--George Faith by name--who had rather a red nose, +which he explained was caused by wearing tight boots. + +His father in old age got married a second time, and George was asked +why his stepmother was like Dr. Newman. + +The answer was because she had embraced the ancient Faith. + +Among old time Irish members, Joe Ronayne, M.P. for Cork, was among the +most diverting. + +He was a railway contractor, and much wanted some additional ground at +the terminus of the line, which the proprietor, Lord Ventry, would not +sell. + +The size of the coveted patch was only seven feet long by three broad. +Mr. Ronayne grimly retorted:-- + +'That's very strange, for it is exactly the amount of ground I'd like to +give him,' i.e. for his grave. + +Another experience of Ronayne's was to the following tune. + +He had obtained advances from a local bank for his railway contract to +the satisfaction of both parties, and when asked by the manager for some +wrinkles about the making of a railway, replied:-- + +'The best thing is to run it into a soft bank.' + +He was a plucky chap as well as a witty one, for owing to some internal +malady, from which he died, he had to have his leg amputated, at the +same time resigning his seat for Cork. + +Addressing the surgeon, he observed:-- + +'I cannot stand for the borough any longer, but I shall certainly stump +the constituency as a county candidate.' + +Poor fellow, he was all too soon an accepted candidate for his passage +over to the great majority. + +A certain attorney named Nagle used to do most of his work. + +Speaking of another attorney this Nagle remarked:-- + +'He has the heart of a vulture.' + +'I know what's worse,' was Ronayne's comment. + +'Indeed!' + +'Yes; the bill of an aigle' (which is the broad Cork pronunciation of +eagle). + +This Nagle was not remarkable for the extent of his ablutions. + +At one period, when he was becoming an ardent Radical, an obsequious +toady said:-- + +'You'll become a second Marat.' + +'There's no fear that he will die in the same place,' promptly came from +Ronayne. + +On another occasion the two were waiting for the judges outside their +lodgings during the Assizes. + +Suddenly Ronayne, in the hearing of a number of acquaintances, called +out:-- + +'You had better come away at once, Nagle.' + +'Why should I?' indignantly. + +'If you stop five minutes longer there's a shower of rain coming on and +you might get washed.' + +On a third occasion, Nagle told Ronayne he was going to invest some +money in a mining exploration. + +'Explore your own landed property, my dear fellow,' was Ronayne's +advice. + +'But you know I have not got any.' + +'Good Heavens, you don't mean to say you have cleaned your nails?' + +Though he was an out-and-out Fenian, Ronayne was as honest a man as I +ever met, and he was considered one of the most amusing men in the House +of Commons. + +The attorneys in Cork at one time formed quite a small coterie, who +divided all the business until it grew too much for them, one, Mr. Paul +Wallace, being especially harassed with briefs. + +At length a barrister named Graves came down from Dublin, and was +introduced to Wallace by another attorney with the remark:-- + +'Counsel are very necessary.' + +'Yes,' said Wallace; 'as a matter of fact, we are all being driven to +our graves.' + +At Kanturk Sessions, Mr. Philip O'Connell was consulted by a client +about the recovery of a debt. He at once saw that the defence would be a +pleading of the statute of limitations, so he told his client that if he +could get a man to swear that the debtor had admitted the debt within +the last six years, he would succeed, but not otherwise. + +O'Connell went off to take the chair at a Bar dinner to a new County +Court judge. + +As the dessert was being set on the table, a loud knock came at the +door, which was immediately behind the chairman. + +'What is it?' cried O'Connell. + +A head appeared, and the voice from it explained:-- + +'I'm Tim Flaherty, your honour, as was consulting you outside, and I +want you to come this way for a while.' + +'Don't you see I am engaged and cannot come?' + +'But it's pressing and important.' + +'I tell you I won't come.' + +Then at the top of his voice Tim yelled:-- + +'Will a small woman do as well, your honour?' + +The members of the Bar present, quite unaware of the previous +conversation, exploded in a shout of laughter, and it was long before +O'Connell heard the last of the invidious construction they put on the +affair. + +One of the interesting people I came across in the vicinity of Cork was +Mr. Jeffreys, who up to his death in 1862 was the most enterprising and +experimental landed proprietor in the county. He imported Scottish +stewards, and people from far and near came to see his farms. + +I should say that in the fifties he did more for agriculture than any +other one man who could be named in Ireland. + +He often said to me:-- + +'The system of small farms will not last long in Ireland, for the +occupiers are sure to strike against rents.' + +He did not live to see the fulfilment of his prophecy, but its effects +were felt by his grandson, Sir George Colthurst, who inherited his +property. + +Most of his stories were very improper, but their wit excused them. + +In the Kildare Street Club one day he saw a very pompous individual, and +asked who he was. + +'That's So-and-So, and the odd thing is he is the youngest of four +brothers, who are all married without having a child between them.' + +'Ah, that accounts for his importance--he is the last of the Barons.' + +Finding him very meditative in the County Club at Cork one Friday, I +asked him what was the matter. + +'I am making my soul,' said he. 'I began my dinner with turbot and ended +with scollops.' + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +FAMINE AND FEVER + + +It is now necessary to revert to that terrible page of Irish history, +the famine, which culminated in what is still known as 'the black +forty-seven.' + +I have often been asked, 'How is it that Ireland could formerly support +a population of eight millions as compared with only five now?' + +The answer is simple: Eight millions could still exist if the potato +crop were a certainty, and if the people were now content to exist as +they did then. But to the then existing population--living at best in a +light-hearted and hopeful, hand-to-mouth contentment--there was a +terrible awakening. + +The mysterious blight, which had affected the potato in America in 1844, +had not been felt in Ireland, where the harvest for 1845 promised to be +singularly abundant. Suddenly, almost without warning, the later crop +shrivelled and wasted. + +The poor had a terribly hard winter, and the farmers borrowed heavily to +have means to till a larger amount of land in 1846. + +Once more the early prospects were admirable, and then in a single night +whole districts were blighted. + +This is how Mr. Steuart Trench described the catastrophe:-- + +'On August 1, 1846, I was startled by a sudden and strange rumour that +all the potato fields in the district were blighted, and that a stench +had arisen emanating from their decaying stalk. The report was true, the +stalks being withered; and a new, strange stench was to be noticed which +became a well-known feature in 'the blight' for years after. On being +dug up it was found that the potato was rapidly blackening and melting +away. The stench generally was the first indication, the withered leaf +following in a day or two.' + +The terrible sufferings which ensued were complicated by some blunders +of British statesmen. + +In 1845 Sir Robert Peel was Prime Minister. He imported Indian meal, and +established depots in the country, where it was sold to the people at +the lowest possible price, thus putting a complete check on private +enterprise. + +In 1846 Lord John Russell was Premier. He declined to follow the example +of Sir Robert Peel, because he considered that it interfered with Free +Trade, and, reversing the policy of his predecessor, announced that he +left the importation of meal to private enterprise. + +But capitalists having been alarmed, meal was not imported in sufficient +quantities, with the result that Indian corn rose to eighteen pounds a +ton, when it might have been laid in at the rate of eight pounds a ton. + +Had Lord John Russell's policy come first, and that of Sir Robert Peel +subsequently, the result would have been very different. + +The fight over the Corn Law question in England at the time was +decidedly an injury to Ireland, because the Protectionists minimised the +danger of famine in the winter of 1845 for fear of the calamity being +made a pretext for Free Trade. + +Dealing with an unforeseen calamity of such stupendous magnitude at long +range from Downing Street entailed delay; and public relief, waiting +until official investigation had tardily reported the hardships, +suffered in the truly distressful country. + +The state of things round Bantry, of which I had accurate knowledge, was +appalling. I knew of twenty-three deaths in the poorhouse in twenty-four +hours. Again, on a relief road, two hours after I had passed, on my ride +home I saw three of the poor fellows stretched corpses on the stones +they had been breaking. + +The Registrar-General for Ireland, Mr. William Donelly, officially stated +that five hundred thousand one-roomed cabins had disappeared between the +census before the famine and the one after it. + +Whole families used to starve in their cabins without their plight being +discovered until the stench of their decaying corpses attracted notice. + +Some superstition also prevented even the children from eating the +myriads of blackberries which ripened on the bushes. + +Directly the calamity was comprehended, the English poured money into +the country with unbounded generosity, but the management was bad. + +The relief works organised by the Government took the form of draining +and road-making. This entailed delay, owing to the preliminary +surveying, and when employment could be given, the people were too +emaciated and feeble to work. All over Ireland unfinished roads leading +half way to places of no consequence are to-day grass-grown memorials of +that ghastly effort of State assistance. + +Almost the earliest of the private soup-kitchens for the relief of the +sufferers was that opened at Dingle under the joint initiative of Lady +Ventry, Mrs. Hickson, my future mother-in-law, and Mrs. Hussey, my +mother. So as not to pauperise the people, subscriptions of one penny a +week were asked from every house in the town. At ten in the morning +those who wanted it could get a pint per head of really excellent soup +for themselves and their families. Those who were known to be able to +pay had to contribute a penny; the really destitute had gratuitous +relief. + +So bad was the famine that people coming in from the country fell in the +street never to rise again. One woman was found lying on the outskirts +of the town almost dead from starvation, her three children having +succumbed beside her, and had she not been carried to the soup-kitchen +she would not have survived them many hours. + +My wife well remembers another case. One day her mother emerged from a +cabin carrying what looked like a big bundle of clothes. It was the form +of an emaciated woman, whose four children and husband had all starved. +My mother-in-law took her to her own house, fed her at first with +spoonsful of soup, and kept her there until she had rebuilt her once +vigorous constitution. + +My wife subsequently recollects her as a hale, buxom, young widow coming +to say good-bye before emigrating to America. + +Very soon all the coffins had been exhausted, and in many places the +dead were taken to the graves and dropped in through the hinged bottom +of a trap-coffin. + +After soup had been introduced, Indian meal stirabout proved +efficacious, and it was distributed from large iron boilers set up by +the roadside to the gaunt, cadaverous wretches who scuffled for the +sustenance. + +Even more terrible than those privations was the fever which supervened. +Apart from the lack of food, a great cause of mortality lay in the +change of diet. Potatoes form a bulky article of food, and stirabout, +unless very carefully made, used to swell after it was consumed. Many, +too, ate raw turnips from sheer destitution, and these also caused +swelling of the stomach as well as a dysentery almost always fatal in a +few days. + +Numbers of starving Catholics had gone to Protestant clergymen and +offered to become converts in return for food, and when some of these +sickened with the fever, the priests declared it was a judgment on them, +and religious hostility became intensified. + +At Dingle Lady Ventry and her helpers were denounced from the pulpits as +'benevolent sisters bent on superising the poor'--to superise being the +improvised verb for Protestantising, a thing they decidedly did not +attempt. + +A very early instance of the open-air cure never before recorded took +place at Lismore. When every possible place in the hospital had been +filled with fever patients, a number had to be lodged in a disused +quarry near the Blackwater, and of the latter not a single sufferer +died, though the mortality within doors was excessive. + +I remember one rather quaint incident. + +A large amount of sea biscuit was brought into a house for distribution +by a benevolent gentleman. His daughter, aged seven, surreptitiously +stole a biscuit for the purpose of eating it. But at the first attempt +to bite the tough thing, out came a loose tooth. She howled with fright, +thinking it a judgment on her for her misdeed, and went in tears to tell +her mother. + +I have always hoped the latter had enough sense of humour to laugh at +the incident, but my shrewd suspicion is that she improved the +occasion--an error for which there is always temptation, and on which +there is often the retribution of the few words having the opposite +effect to that intended. + +The conduct of the landlords during the famine and fever has been much +discussed and variously represented. But many of the Nationalists +themselves have declared that the diatribes of their comrades have been +thoroughly undeserved. Absenteeism apart--for which no excuse need be +attempted--the Irish landlords did their best, gave of their substance, +and imperilled their own lives for the sake of the sufferers. Mr. +Richard White of Inchiclogh, near Bantry, fell a victim to the fever. +Two other landlords who gave their lives for others were Mr. Richard +Martin, M.P., and Mr. Nolan of Ballinderry. The conditions of tenure did +not admit of lavish financial generosity, but as one of their sharpest +critics in later times admitted, the vast majority 'went down with the +ship.' + +The survivors of this terrible time numbered heroes drawn from all +classes of life; and it would have been well if the lesson of universal +charity then practically demonstrated had been allowed to sink into all +hearts. + +Instead I will quote the following extract from John Mitchel's _History +of Ireland_, a thick, paper-bound volume, which, at the price of +eighteenpence, has circulated enormously among the Irish, not only at +home, but in Glasgow and America. + +On page 243:--'That million and a half of men, women, and children were +carefully, prudently, and peacefully _slain_' [the italics are those of +Mitchel] 'by the English Government. They died of hunger in the midst of +abundance which their own hands created; and it is quite immaterial to +distinguish those who perished in the agonies of famine itself from +those who died by typhus fever, which in Ireland is always caused by +famine. + +'Further, this was strictly an _artificial_ famine--that is to say, it +was a famine which desolated a rich and fertile island that produced +every year abundance and superabundance to sustain all her people and +many more. The English, indeed, call that famine a dispensation of +Providence, and ascribe it entirely to the blight of the potatoes. But +potatoes failed in like manner all over Europe, yet there was no famine +save in Ireland. The British account of the matter, then, is first a +fraud; second, a blasphemy. The Almighty, indeed, sent the potato +blight, but the English created the famine.' + +Such pestilential perversion of truth is freely circulated and firmly +believed, for contradiction never penetrates to those gulled by these +lies. In America the gutter press section of journalism is esteemed at +its true worth, and is as harmless as a few squibs. In Ireland what is +seen in bad print is always believed, and is corroborated by the lower +class of priest. When I say so much I am simply indicating a national +sore, but it needs a wiser physician than myself to apply a successful +remedy. + +Perhaps with the spread of education may arise the same power to +discriminate between the true and false published in the papers that is +a characteristic of both the English and Scottish. As it is, the +Irishman believes whatever he reads in print; and in most cases the +solitary paper that he reads is one full of treason and untruths. + +When the famine took place, the Irish fled as from a plague to America, +and when they landed there both men and women were the prey of every +blackguard without a single person to advise or protect them. + +Had the Government taken the movement in hand and employed agents at New +York to provide for them until they obtained employment, and to direct +them where to apply for it, England would to-day probably have had a +grateful nation on the other side of the Atlantic. Instead, we have a +hostile multitude which neglects no opportunity of voting for any +politician hostile to Great Britain; and this disaffection sadly +militates against that union of Anglo-Saxon hearts, which is so freely +accepted by journalists and politicians as a sort of millennium. + +Miss Cobbe related a story about a steady-going girl who had received +money from her sister who was doing well in New York to pay her passage +money out. + +She told Miss Cobbe how she had been to an emigration office and booked +her passage. + +'Direct to New York, of course.' + +'Well no, Miss. But to some place close by, New something else.' + +'New something else near New York?' + +'Yes; I disremember what it was, but he said it was quite handy for New +York.' + +'Not New Orleans, surely?' + +'Yes, Miss, that was it, New Orleans, quite near New York,' he said. + +The scoundrelly agent had taken her passage money and sent her off +absolutely friendless to New Orleans, where she died of a fever in less +than a year. + +Many of the three million emigrants after the famine must have been as +easily duped. + +A considerable time ago (but if I were in Kerry I could give the date +from my diary, because I met the man at a dinner given at the St. +James's Club by Lord Kenmare's son-in-law, Mr. Douglas) one of the big +New World railway companies sent over an emissary to the British +Government. + +He was charged to offer to take every distressed man in Ireland, with +his priest--if he would go--piper, cat, wife, sister, mother, and +children, to the land through which the great railway ran. Each man was +to be given a log-house with three rooms, one hundred and sixty acres, +ten of them under cultivation, and no residence was to be more than ten +miles from a railway station. All that was asked in return was a loan +for ten years without interest to cover the expenses of transportation. + + +I rather think Mr. Chichester Fortescue was the Chief Secretary. Anyhow, +whoever occupied that post urged the Cabinet to accept the offer. The +conclave wavered, but Mr. Gladstone firmly vetoed the idea. He was +afraid the plan would be unpopular with the priests, who would see +themselves bereft of the favourite members of their congregations. + +Instead of this admirable scheme, we have ever since had the pitiable +sight of the parents, the sisters, and the sweetheart crooning over the +emigration of the best able-bodied young men from Ireland. + +No one who has heard the keening and wailing, say at Limerick Junction, +over Paddy going over the water will forget the appealing sorrow of the +scene, the sound of which rings long in one's ears after the train has +gone out of sight. + +The emigrant has been the theme of song and story. He has also been one +of the finest recruits of the United States, whilst he is a stigma on +English politics, and a drain on the land which in all Europe can least +afford to spare him. + +Mr. Wyndham's new Act will not arrest emigration, indeed it will +probably increase it. + +At present the landlord is often able to put pressure on his tenants to +give employment to respectable men. But the small farmer is certain to +use as few men as possible. You can see the analogy in contemporary +France. Therefore more families will see the pride of their cabins +starting for the New World. + +Perhaps what I am proudest of, was being called in an address in Kerry +'the poor man's friend,' for it is what I have always striven to be. + +But if I were to be a young man to-morrow, instead of a day older than I +am to-day, I should be powerless to merit such a title in years to come. + +And the reason, as I have just indicated, is the fault of the +Government. + +I sometimes think the canniest man of whom I ever heard was the old +Scottish minister who was accustomed to preface his extempore petition +with the words:-- + +'My britheren, let us noo pray that the High Court of Parliament winna +do ony harm.' + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +FENIANISM + + +I am quite aware the opinion I am about to deliver will cause great +surprise, but I give it after mature consideration, supported by all my +knowledge of Ireland. + +It is this:-- + +The old Fenianism was politically of little account, socially of no +danger, except to a few individuals who could be easily protected, and +has been grossly exaggerated, either wilfully or through ignorance. + +Matters were very different after Mr. Gladstone, by successive acts, of +what I maintain were criminal legislation, deliberately fostered treason +and encouraged outrage in Ireland. + +Irish agitation would never have reached genuine importance unless it +had been steadily assisted in its noisome growth by the so-called Grand +Old Man, at whose grave may be laid every calamity which has affected +Ireland since it had the misfortune to arouse his interest, and the ill +effects of whose demoralising interference will bear fruit for many +years to come. + +This is set down in sober earnest and in as unprejudiced a spirit as it +is possible for any sincerely patriotic--using the word in its true and +not in its debased meaning--Irishman to feel when he is thoroughly +acquainted with all the niceties of the national history for the past +sixty years. + +I am far from saying that subsequent British cabinets have always +understood the Irish questions, but they are at least only reaping the +whirlwind where Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind. + +I would broadly characterise as Fenian every Irish outbreak or +ebullition in the nineteenth century up to the time of the baneful +influence of the man who conducted the Midlothian campaign. + +Half the tumultuous efforts of the earlier movements would have been +rendered ridiculous had it been possible to have them contemporaneously +examined by a few special correspondents. I can imagine the +representative of the _Daily Mail_ finding material for very few +sensational headlines in the Whiteboys Insurrection. + +As for the tales of single-handed terrorism, these in Ireland did +nursery duty to alarm imaginative children, just as the adventures of +Dick Turpin and Jack Sheppard or the kidnapping of heirs by gipsies +serve as stories to thrill English little ones. + +Of course in 1789 to have killed three Protestants was counted a +passport into heaven in the vicinity of Vinegar Hill. But Father +Matthew's temperance crusade was worth more salvation to the nation, and +mere threatening letters count for nothing. I have had over one hundred +in my time, yet I'll die in my bed for all that. + +My father-in-law had a pretty solid contempt for the Whiteboys--not the +original breed, but those who assumed the title in Kerry early in the +nineteenth century. + +He was told that these miscreants had a plan to surround his house that +night and to shoot everybody in it, and at that very moment they were +confabulating at a certain farmhouse. + +Refusing to be escorted or guarded, he made his way to that farm, and +walking into the kitchen, rated the lot of them in unmeasured terms. + +Cowed and abashed they listened to him as he threatened the law, hell, +and the devil alone knows what beside. Finally, pistol in hand, he bade +them produce their arms and put them in his dog-cart. + +This they actually did--for they had imbibed no liquor to give them +false pluck--and, with a final curse, he whipped up his horse and drove +away 'with all their teeth' to the barracks, where he left a very useful +arsenal, and was never troubled by one of them again. + +To thus obtain complete immunity by sheer coolness is as much a matter +of personal magnetism as anything else. An instance of this, which +impressed me much, occurred in a coiner-ghost story told by Mr. T.P. +O'Connor, which I venture to quote. + +'The hero was no less a person than Marshal Saxe. One night, on the +march, he bivouacked in a haunted castle, and slept the sleep of the +brave until midnight, when he was awakened by hideous howls heralding +the approach of the spectre. When it appeared, the Marshal first +discharged his pistol point-blank at it without effect, and then struck +it with his sabre, which was shivered in his hand. The invulnerable +spectre then beckoned the amazed Marshal to follow, and preceded him to +a spot where the floor of the gallery suddenly yawned, and they sank +together through it to sepulchral depths. Here he was surrounded by a +band of desperate coiners who would forthwith have made away with him if +the Marshal had not told them who he was, and warned them that if he +disappeared his army would dig to the earth's centre to find him, and +would infallibly find and finish every one of them. + +'"If I am reconducted to my chamber by this steel-clad spectre and +allowed to sleep undisturbed until morning, I promise never to relate +this adventure while any harm can happen to you by my telling it." + +'To this the coiners after consultation agreed. He was led back to bed, +and next morning ridiculed all spectral stories to his officers. It was +not until the world of coiners was finally broken up that he related his +experiences.' + +In that story I wonder who went bail for the Marshal's truth. Veracity +and gallantry may not have gone hand in hand, or perhaps they were +affianced, and therefore took care not to come near one another. + +Another sort of gallantry was noteworthy in what was known as Young +Ireland, for in 'the set' were several ladies, Eva, Mary, and Speranza, +all prone to write seditious verse. Eva was Miss Mary Kelly, daughter of +a Galway gentleman, who promised her lover to wait while he underwent +ten years penal servitude, and kept her word, marrying him at Kingstown +two days after his release. 'Mary' was Miss Ellen Downing, whose lover +was also a fugitive after the outbreak; but he proved unfaithful, and +she was one of the last I heard of who died of pining away. It used to +be much talked of in my young days. Perhaps now that it is not, it more +often occurs. 'Speranza' was Lady Wilde, a fluent poet and essayist, who +survived her husband the archaeologist. One of her children inherited +much of her talent, but bears a chequered fame. I always thought the wit +of Oscar Wilde anything but Irish, and was always glad it possessed no +national attributes--unless impudence was one. + +At one of his own first nights in London (I think it was on the occasion +of the production of _An Ideal Husband_ at the Haymarket) he was +summoned before the curtain by the customary shouts for 'Author, +author.' + +He stood there for a moment amid the cheering, and then, in response to +cries for a speech, calmly took a cigarette case out of his pocket, +selected one of the contents, and, having very deliberately lighted it, +said:-- + +'Ladies and gentlemen, I do not know what you have done, but I have +spent a very pleasant evening with my own play. Good night.' + +His brother, known as 'Wuffalo Will' among his friends, is the hero of +many stories. + +Once he went up to a policeman and said:-- + +'Which is the way to heaven?' + +'I don't know, sir; better ask a parson.' + +'What do you think I pay taxes for? It's your business to be able to +tell me the way to heaven. As for the bally parsons, they don't +understand.' + +A broad smile came over the constable's face. + +'Were you asking where you could get blind drunk comfortably, sir? +because if so--' + +And out came the hint with a wink. + +Wilde was fond of that tale at one time. + +The affair of ''48' was a farce. Stimulated by the French Revolution, +John Mitchel wrote rabid sedition, but received short shrift at the +hands of the Government, who arrested him, sentenced him to fourteen +years' transportation, and almost from the dock he was taken manacled in +a police van, escorted by cavalry, and put on board a steamer, which at +once put out to sea. + +Smith O'Brien was the leader of this feeble insurrection. He had boasted +he would be at the head of fifty thousand Tipperary men. Instead his +army consisted of a few hundred half-clad ragamuffins, which attacked a +squad of police who took refuge in a farmhouse, and easily routed the +rabble. + +Smith O'Brien proved himself an arrant coward. He hid in a cabbage +garden, and is still believed to have made his temporary escape from the +police in the habit of an Anglican sisterhood, of which his sister, Hon. +Mrs. Monsell, was Mother Superior. + +The bigger outbreak was not a bit more serious. It was all trumped up by +the Irish in America, and their reliance upon help from American +soldiers was destroyed after the war. This agitation was the one known +as the work of the Phoenix Society, and the object was the separation of +Ireland from England and the confiscation of Irish property. + +The leaders were James Stephens, who had nearly escaped being shot by a +policeman in the Smith O'Brien campaign, and that indomitable scoundrel +O'Donovan Rossa. It was at this time we began to hear of mysterious +strangers. In this case it was Stephens; later Parnell wrapped himself +in strange isolation; and subsequently Tynan, who was known as 'Number +One.' + +Cork and Kerry were the chosen parts of Ireland for the new Fenianism to +come to a head, and a certain amount of enrolling and drilling did take +place. + +I was then residing within two miles of the city of Cork, and one night +the Fenians came out and encamped all round my house, without offering +the slightest molestation or injury to anybody. + +Two Fenians walked into the house of my stableman, about a quarter of a +mile from my own, and asked for food, saying they were ready to pay for +it. + +The woman replied that she had no food in the house, but the breakfast +of her brother Charles, which she was about to take to him in the +stables. + +They wanted to pay her a shilling for it, but she declined, and then +they went away quietly. + +The principal outbreak was to be in Killarney, and they plotted to +attack the police barrack at Cahirciveen, because they had an ally in +the son of the head constable. + +But a man in the town, to whom he had shown kindness, warned the head +constable of the attack, which in the end consisted of a few shots fired +by a ragged rabble of about three hundred, half of whom were +half-hearted, and the other half half-drunk. + +The coastguards manned their boat and rowed off to a gunboat in the +harbour to ask for some marines; and the moment this was known to the +besiegers they dispersed. Some of them marched rather downcast towards +Killarney, and on the road they met a mounted policeman riding to warn +Cahirciveen of the attack which was to be made against the barracks, for +every movement of this silly rebellion was known to the Government. + +They called on the man to stop and deliver up his despatches. He +declined to do so, and so soon as he had ridden on they shot him in the +back, wounding him badly. + +He recovered, but was very shabbily treated by the Government, who only +awarded him a miserably small pension, a niggardly act which aroused +much dissatisfaction. + +The Roman Catholic Bishop of Killarney, Doctor Moriarty, protested +strongly against the cowardice of the Fenians, who were afraid to face +one armed man, and waited until his back was turned before they shot +him. + +However, as I have indicated, the Fenian movement was very +insignificant, and was known in all its aspects to the Government, which +dealt pretty roughly with it. + +It is a singular fact that in the Fenian councils Killarney should have +been selected for the outbreak. + +This is a town where nearly all the landed proprietors were Roman +Catholics, where there was a Catholic Bishop, a monastery and two +convents, while one half-ruined Protestant church sufficed to +accommodate the few worshippers who sat under a dreary, inoffensive +vicar on a very small salary. All reasonable folk, moreover, know that +Killarney is the town to which, more than any other in Ireland, it is +important to attract British tourists. + +It was well known that some of the promoters and instigators of the +movement betrayed it before its very inception to the Government; and +Bishop Moriarty, from his pulpit, in his sermon alluded in no measured +language to those criminals who instigated the innocent peasants to play +a part in this mock insurrection, and then betrayed them. + +He concluded:-- + +'It may be a hard saying, but surely hell is not too hot nor eternity +too long for the punishment of such villainy.' + +Yet the whole of Irish history is disfigured by the poisonous trail of +the insidious informer. + +I was in Kerry at the time of the Cahirciveen fizzle, in the +neighbourhood of Dingle, and it was rumoured that the insurrection was +to be general. + +That was not my opinion, for I travelled on an open car by myself, with +a large quantity of money, and no other weapon than an umbrella. + +It was a very different state of affairs in the distress caused by Mr. +Gladstone's legislation, for then I never travelled without a revolver, +and occasionally was accompanied by a Winchester rifle. I used to place +my revolver as regularly beside my fork on the dinner-table, either in +my own or in anybody else's house, as I spread my napkin on my knees. + +And yet it is strangely difficult to see any other cause than Mr. +Gladstone's Acts for such ill-feeling. + +As my sworn evidence, on which I was cross-examined in the Parnell +Commission, showed, I had only ten evictions in six years among two +thousand tenants. + +I should like to ask, in what class of life is there not more than one +in twelve hundred that gets into financial troubles in a year? + +In the insurance world such a ratio of claims to premiums would make a +perfect fortune to the companies. + +The tenants were not associated with the Fenian movement at all, the +outbreak being solely confined to the townsfolk, which, in Ireland, +helped to make it a feeble affair. I did not know one _bona fide_ farmer +that was connected with the movement, and though the arms were mainly +smuggled in from America, mighty little hard cash came to the pockets of +any but the leaders. + +Stephens was the original 'Number One,' and he was let out of Kilmainham +by the chief warder's wife. No one knew where he was to be found, but +the police, who were well aware that he was devoted to his own wife, +kept a strict watch on her, and eventually caught him through his +opening communications with her. + +When the hue and cry was loudest, it was reported he had come to Cork to +foster the Fenian movement, and that he was disguised in feminine garb. + +One day my wife found her steps dogged by a man in the most aggravating +way, for he followed her into three shops without attempting to speak to +her, his only desire being to shadow her, which he was doing in the most +clumsy manner. + +I was away at Dingle for the day, so my wife went into the establishment +of the leading linen-draper, and sending for the head of the firm, asked +him to speak to the man, who was then pretending to buy some tape. + +It turned out that he was a detective fresh from Dublin, who had taken +it into his head that she was Stephens, and was most apologetic, as well +as crestfallen, at his error. + +Some time after this Fenian fizzle, my coachman saw a number of people +being chased by the police for drilling; and about two years later, when +I sent him to the Cork barracks on private business, he told me that he +there noticed some of the very people who had been routed by the +constabulary, but this time they were being drilled by the Government as +militia. + +I have always had a theory that Ireland was created by Providence for +the express purpose of bothering philosophers, and preventing them or +politicians from thinking themselves too wise. + +At the time when the Fenian scare was damaging Killarney as a tourist +resort, Sir Michael Morris--as he then was--was staying at Morley's +Hotel in London, and saw in the American paper lying on the table a +vivid account of how the Fenian army had attacked a British garrison, +and would have easily captured the stronghold had not an overpowering +force of English cavalry and artillery hurried up to deliver the +besieged. + +Of course, the facts were, that in County Limerick several hundred +'patriots,' led by a man in a green calico uniform, attacked a police +barrack in which were five constables. Keeping as much out of range of +the constabulary fire as possible, they had exchanged a few shots when a +District Inspector of Police, who resided some eight miles off, arrived +with ten constables on a couple of cars, at the sight of which +stupendous relieving force, the whole corps of young Irishmen bolted. + +Morris gave the waiter a shilling for the paper--and took it off his tip +at leaving, no doubt--and carefully treasured the journal until he went +to hold the next assizes at Limerick, when he found the bulk of the +attacking army in the dock before him. + +When the D.I. was giving evidence, Morris asked him:-- + +'Where were the British cavalry?' + +'What cavalry, my lord? Why, there was none. + +'Oh ho,' says the judge. 'And where was the artillery?' + +'Faith, my lord, there was as much artillery as there was cavalry, and +that would not get in the way of a donkey race.' + +Then Morris, with appropriate solemnity, proceeded to read out the +newspaper account for the benefit of the audience. The whole Court was +convulsed with laughter, in which the prisoners in the dock heartily +joined. + +After the trial was over, a parish priest came to congratulate Morris, +and said to him:-- + +'My lord, you have laughed Fenianism out of Limerick.' + +[Illustration: Mrs. Hussey] + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES + + +In 1850 I became agent to the Colthurst property, which consisted of +most of the parish of Ballyvourney, one estate alone containing about +twenty-three thousand acres. The rental was then over L4600. There were +only three slated houses on the property, hardly any out-buildings, only +seven miles of road under contract, and about twenty acres planted. + +By 1880 the landlord had expended L30,000 on improvements, there were +over one hundred slated houses, about sixty miles of roads, and over +four hundred acres planted. + +Under the Land Act of 1881 the rent was reduced to L3600. + +That was the encouragement officially given to the landlord for +assisting in the improvement of his property. + +From the time of Moses downwards, the policy of all Governments has been +to give relief to the debtor. By the Encumbered Estate Act, which was +passed just after the famine, special relief was given to the creditor. + +What the English view was may be taken from the _Times_-- + +'In a few years more, a Celtic Irishman will be as rare in Connemara as +is the Red Indian on the shores of Manhattan.' + +That is to say, English capital was at last to flow into Ireland for the +purchase of encumbered estates, but the anticipation of course was +erroneous. + +English capital was placed for preference in Turkish and in Egyptian +bonds, to the great loss of all concerned. As for Ireland, out of the +first twenty millions realised by the new Court, over seventeen was +Irish money; and at the outset there was an inevitable downward tendency +of prices which involved heavy depreciation. + +Credit was destroyed in Ireland, and every man who owed a shilling was +utterly ruined. Had the Government given loans at a reasonable rate of +interest, which would have amply repaid them, all this could have been +saved. As it was, properties were sold like chairs and tables at a +paltry auction, and in thousands of cases the judge expressed himself +satisfied that the rent could have been considerably increased. + +I knew one unfortunate shopkeeper who paid L6000 for a property under +these circumstances; and in place of an increase of rent, the +confiscators--that is to say the commissioners imposed by Mr. +Gladstone--took a third of the rental off him. + +Those purchasers who were English conceived when they bought properties +that they would get as much from them as the solvent tenants were +willing to pay. The legislation of Mr. Gladstone in coalition with the +blunderbuss soon put an end to the pleasing delusion. It was one more of +the English mistakes about Ireland, where, when the tenant is content to +pay, the British Government and the Land League both combine to prevent +him from offering a reasonable rent to a landlord. + +As a matter of fact, even the most seditionary organs confessed that the +tenants gained little and lost much by the change from the old type of +landlord to the new, for the latter, being practical men, had no +sympathy for the man who was permanently behindhand with his rent. And +no one can say that this habitual arrear was a healthy stimulus to the +moral wellbeing of the tenant himself, though he felt aggrieved at its +being checked. + +There is not the least need to sketch how I gradually became one of the +largest land agents in Ireland. It has been published in other books, +and would only prove wearisome if set out in detail in this volume. So I +will merely observe that only two years after the big Fenian rising, as +it was called--which I should describe as being composed of a rabble of +less importance than the ragamuffins led by Wat Tyler--so little was I +impressed by its magnitude that I went to live at Edenburn. There I laid +out a lot of money in rebuilding the house, spending over L2000 in +additions. This was most idiotic of me, because I had not counted on the +infernal devices of Mr. Gladstone to render Ireland uninhabitable for +peaceful and law-abiding folk. + +When I first settled down there, labourers were working at eightpence or +tenpence a day. Now the lowest rate is two shillings. The labourer +rectified this rate by emigration, and if the farmers, who could more +advantageously have emigrated, had done so, the cry for compulsory +reduction would never have arisen. + +Thus far I have dealt with facts and myself as concerned in them, but I +propose now to relate a few stories, a thing more congenial to my +temperament than any other form of conversational exercise. Whether it +will equally commend itself to the reader is a matter on which I, as an +aged novice in literature, though hopeful, am of course uncertain. + +Indeed I am in exactly the predicament of a farmer's wife who was asked +by the Dowager Lady Godfrey, after a month of marriage, how she liked +her husband. + +'I had plenty of recommendation with him,' was the reply, 'but I have +not had enough trial of him yet to say for sure.' + +There is a story about a honeymoon couple at Killarney which is worth +telling. + +The bridegroom had a valet, a good, faithful fellow, long in his +service, but talkative, a thing his master loathed. He said to him:-- + +'John, I've often told you to hold your tongue about my affairs. This +time I emphatically mean it. If you tell the people in the hotel that I +am on my honeymoon, I'll sack you on the spot.' + +So John promised to be as silent as the grave, but on the third +afternoon, as the happy pair were ascending the stairs of the Victoria +Hotel, they saw by the giggles and smirks of the chambermaids that their +secret had been discovered. + +The bridegroom rang his bell and went for John in a towering passion, +but the fellow held his ground. + +'Is it not unfair the way you are taking on? Sure the other servants did +ask me if you were on your honeymoon, but I was even with them, for I +told them "devil a bit, your honour was not going to marry the lady +until next month."' + +I do not know how that alliance turned out, but the happy pair left the +hotel early next morning. + +I can tell rather more about the matrimonial experiences of an +Archdeacon at Cork, who married firstly a woman who was very fond of +society. She died, and he then married another, who grew very stout. She +also died, and the indefatigable cleric married as his third experiment +a widow cursed with a very violent temper. + +He was one day chaffed on the practical demonstration he had given to +the Romish doctrine of the celibacy of the Church, when he said:-- + +'After all they were a trial, for I married the world, the flesh, and +lastly the devil, and now I tremble whenever I think of recognition in +eternity.' + +This Cork story comes naturally, because at that time I was living near +Cork and very happily too. + +Now and again we took trips up to Dublin when I had business there. + +I am not much of a playgoer, but in Dublin we always went to the theatre +on the chance of hearing some of the proverbial wit of its gallery. + +On one occasion, a lady in the play, when her lover had had some doubt +of her fidelity, exclaimed:-- + +'Would there were a mirror in my side that you could see into my heart.' + +Whereupon a voice from the gods shouted:-- + +'Would not a pain [_i.e._ pane] in your stomach do as well. I have one +myself.' + +Lord Chancellor Brady was of a notoriously convivial temperament, which +did not prevent him being an admirable lawyer when he would allow his +wits to get their heads above water, so to speak, though it was little +enough that he used to dilute his spirits. + +When Jenny Lind sang in some Italian opera, he occupied a seat in the +vice-regal box, and gazed at her through a portentously enormous +_lorgnette_. + +This was too much for a wag in the gallery, who yelled:-- + +'Brady, me jewel, I'm glad to see you're fond of a big glass yet.' + +At the time of the Crimean War, John Reynolds, a very energetic citizen, +was perpetually raising the question about the dangerous practice of +driving outside cars from the side instead of the box--in which he was +undoubtedly right. + +When he went to the theatre, a gallery boy shouted:-- + +'Three cheers for Alderman John Reynolds the hero of Kars.' + +The Lord Mayor of the period who sat beside him was a tallow chandler, +and the same spokesman shouted out:-- + +'Three cheers for his grease the Lord Mayor just back from the races at +Tallagh.' + +That sort of thing seems to be particularly indigenous, the only +parallel being when undergraduates or medical students get gathered +together. + +The eloquence of Irish members in the House of Commons has really +nothing to do with my reminiscences, but I remember one occasion when it +was uncommonly well excelled by a stolid Englishman. + +Fergus O'Connor--an Irishman, as his name betrays--was an ardent +Chartist, and before the Reform Bill was introduced he said in the House +that he had been accused of being a personal enemy of King William's. +This was quite untrue, for if there were only good laws he did not care +if the devil were King of England. + +Sir Robert Peel replied:-- + +'When the honourable member is gratified by seeing the sovereign of his +choice on the throne of these realms, I hope he will enjoy, and I am +sure he will deserve, the confidence of the Crown.' + +Whilst I am anecdotal, perhaps I had better say something about books +into which my stories have been pressed. I was always given to telling +tales, but of course my great time was when Lord Morris and I would sit +trying to cap one another. If he were ever too idle to remember an +anecdote of his own, he would reel off one of mine: as for his own fund +of stories and humour ever approaching exhaustion, that was not to be +thought of. He was far and away the wittiest man I ever met, and if I do +not quote one of his tales on this page it is because no single sample +can show the superb richness of his vintage, and more than one of his +brand will be found scattered in the present volume. + +I gave a good many anecdotes to my dear old friend Mr. W.R. Le +Fanu--cheeriest of fishermen, kindest of jolly good fellows--for his +garrulous book. He observes in his preface that he makes his first +attempt at writing in his eight-and-seventieth year. I am nearly +twenty-four months his senior when thus far on the road of these +reminiscences. I also echo another phrase of his:-- + +'I trust I have said nothing to hurt the feelings of any of my +fellow-countrymen.' + +Just one quotation--and only a little one--which is not mine, but the +warning which Sheridan Le Fanu, author of that capital novel _Uncle +Silas_, gave in the _Dublin University Magazine_ against matrimony:-- + +'Marriage is like the smallpox. A man may have it mildly, but he +generally carries the marks of it with him to his grave.' + +And very true too in his division of an Irishman's life into three +parts:-- + +'The first is that in which he is plannin' and conthrivin' all sorts of +villainy and rascality; that is the period of youth and innocence. The +second is that in which he is puttin' into practice the villainy and +rascality he contrived before; that is the prime of life or the flower +of manhood. The third and last period is that in which he is makin' his +soul and preparin' for another world; that is the period of dotage.' + +Shakespeare's seven ages of man may have been more poetical, but it does +not betray a closer grip of the Irish temperament. + +My other appearance as a literary ghost or rather as an anonymous +contributor was when I supplied Mrs. O'Connell with stories for _The +Last Count of the Irish Brigade_. That was about twenty years ago, and +therefore long after the death of the hero who was uncle to the +Liberator. + +The writer was a daughter of Charles Bianconi, the originator of all the +mail-cars in Ireland, who owned at one time sixteen hundred horses, and +always laughed at the idea of any violence on the part of the peasantry, +pointing out that though his cars daily covered four thousand miles in +twenty-two counties, no injury was ever done to any of his property. + +Mrs. O'Connell was married to a nephew of the great Dan, and he +represented Kerry in Parliament for nearly thirty years. He was an +intimate friend of Thackeray's, and gave him all the idioms of his +delightful Irish ballads. This O'Connell was a clever, amusing fellow, +and precious idle into the bargain. + +I remember one story he told me. + +Mrs. MacCarthy, near Millstreet, had a son, a small proprietor, and he +got married. The mother-in-law lived with the daughter-in-law, who had +rather grand ideas, and set up as parlour-maid in the house a raw lass +just taken from the dairy. + +One afternoon old Mrs. MacCarthy saw the parish priest coming to call, +and told the girl if he asked for Mrs. MacCarthy to say she was not in +but the dowager was. + +Now the maid had never heard the word dowager in her life, but thought +she would make a shot for it, so when his reverence asked if Mrs. +MacCarthy was at home, she blurted out:-- + +'No, sir, but the badger is.' + +And to her dying day the relic of deceased MacCarthy went by the name of +'the badger.' + +Now it is really time I related how my own beauty was spoilt, by +breaking my nose in 1858. + +I was racing the present Knight of Kerry and a young gunner named +Hickson--no relation--on the Strand, when the horse of the latter +collided with my own, and they both fell at the same time. He was a +loose rider, and being shot off some distance from his animal picked +himself up unhurt. I had always a tight grip, so I got entangled in the +saddle which twisted round, and my mare almost literally tore off my +face with her hind hoof. + +I walked back a quarter of a mile, trying to hold my face on to my head +with my hand; and in a month's time I was able to get about again, which +the doctor said was one of the quickest cases of healing he had ever +known. + +But I was absolutely unrecognised by my acquaintances when I reappeared, +and Mr. Dillon the R.M. actually took me for a walk in Tralee to see the +town, thinking I was a stranger, a situation the fun of which I heartily +appreciated. + +Before that infernal gallop I had a hooked nose like the Duke of +Wellington; and it's lucky I got married when I did, for no one would +have had me afterwards, though my own wife always says 'for shame' if I +make the remark in her presence, God bless her. + +When I went to the Abbey of St. Denis, near Paris, I told the verger I +was very anxious to see the likeness of the saint who had walked for six +miles with his head in his hand, because I was the nearest living +counterpart, having walked a quarter of a mile with my face in mine. + +Hickson was universally congratulated on his lucky escape. He went out +to India and was dead in eighteen months, and here am I at eighty with +half my face and some of my health still in spite of the attentive care +of my family and the doctor. + +My present doctor is a capital fellow, and when he comes to see me he +laughs so much at my stories that I always think he ought to take me +half price. Instead of that he regards me as an animated laboratory for +his interesting chemical experiments; but I had the best of him last +time I was laid up, for I made him take a dose of the filthy compound he +had ordered for me the previous day. + +First he said he wouldn't, then he said he couldn't, but I said what was +not poison for the patient could not hurt the physician; and in the end +he had to swallow the dose, making far more fuss over its nasty taste +than I did. But I noted that he at once wrote me a new prescription, +which was as sweet as any advertised syrup, and further, that he +arranged his next visit should be just after I finished the bottle. + +However, that is years and years after the time of which I am treating. + +Yet I am tempted to anticipate, because the mention of Edenburn earlier +in this chapter suggests a quaint individual about whom a few +observations may be made. + +Bill Hogan was our factotum. He was stable-boy, steward, ladies'-maid, +and professional busybody, as well as a bit of a character, though he +possessed none worth mentioning. + +When we were packing up to leave Edenburn, my wife was watching him fill +two casks, one with home-made jam, the other with china. + +Called away to luncheon, she found on her return both casks securely +nailed down. + +'Oh, you should not have done that, Bill,' she said, 'for now we shan't +know which contains which.' + +'I thought of that, ma'am,' replies Bill, 'so I have written S for +chiney on the one, and G for jam on the other.' + +Bill's orthography was obviously original. + +So was the drive he took with a certain cheery guest of mine one Sabbath +morning. + +The said guest desired more refreshment than he was likely to get at +that early hour at Edenburn, so he drove into Tralee, ostensibly to +church, and told Bill to have the car round at the club at one. + +'Well,' narrated Bill afterwards, 'out came the Captain from the club, +having a few drinks taken, and up he got on the car with my help, but at +the corner of Denny Street he pulled up at the whisky store, and said we +must drink the luck of the road. Well we drank the luck at every house +on the way out of the town, and presently in the road down came the +mare, pitching the Captain over the hedge, and marking her own knees, as +well as breaking the shaft. At last we all got home somehow, and there +in the yard was the master, looking us all three up and down as though +he were going to commit us all from the Bench. Then a twinkle came into +his eye, and he said as mild as a dove to the Captain, "I see by the +look of her knees you've been taking the mare to say her prayers."' + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE HARENC ESTATE + + +So large a part has the purchase of this estate made in my more public +appearances, owing to the fact that I have been brought into general +notice through offensive legal proceedings, that a brief account of the +matter must form part of my reminiscences. + +Prior to 1878, a gentleman named Harenc, the owner of a large extent of +landed property in the north of Kerry, died. + +Who the estate subsequently belonged to I am uncertain. Anyhow, +according to the title-deeds, it was somehow divided among ten or twelve +individuals before the property came into the Land Estate Courts for +sale. + +This circumstance suggested to a large number of the tenantry that it +might be an opportunity to avail themselves of the provisions of the +Bright Clauses, and become pretty cheaply the owners of the land on +which they lived. + +After they had offered the sum of L75,000 for the estate, for the +purpose of splitting it up into small holdings, it was found that the +trustee had privately agreed to sell it to Mr. Goodman Gentleman, the +agent for the late Mr. Harenc, for L65,000. + +The tenants were not going to be frustrated by that--being Irishmen and +litigious, which is one and the same thing. So they appealed to the +Landed Estates Court, and induced Judge Ormsby to make an order +annulling the deed of sale, and directing that the property should be +put up in lots suitable to the purposes of the tenants. + +Several of the tenants who did not want the property split up approached +me to suggest I should buy the property, and appeared by counsel--the +present Judge Johnson--in support of me. + +I met the tenants, and stated that if it fell to me I would give each of +them a lease of thirty-one years, and indemnify myself for the +purchase-money by a rise on the entire rental of five per cent, on the +valuation of each estate, according to current estimates, at which they +showed every sign of satisfaction. + +I then offered L80,000 for the whole estate, and was declared the +purchaser. A large bonfire was lighted on February 20th, 1878, by the +tenants at Aghabey, near Luxnow, on their being apprised I had become +their landlord. + +Another section of tenants, however, were anxious that the property +should be bought by Messrs. Lombard and Murphy, private individuals I +never met. + +The judge of the Landed Estate Court, Judge Ormsby, gave them the +property. + +I appealed against this decision, and the Court of Appeal unanimously +reversed the verdict of Judge Ormsby, the three judges being the Lord +Chancellor of Ireland, the Master of the Rolls--who said it was one of +the most important cases decided since the foundation of the Land +Court--and Lord Justice Deasy. I have been told on most excellent +authority that Lord Justice Christian declined to sit because, as he +told the Lord Chancellor, he felt so strongly in my favour that he could +not hear the case with an unbiassed mind. + +There had been a demonstration at the previous decision, but it paled +before the great rejoicings over my success among all the tenantry over +whom I was agent. There were more than fifty bonfires blazing that night +in Kerry, so that the county looked as though it were signalling the +advent of another Armada, as in the fragment Macaulay left. The only +place where any opposition was exhibited was in Castleisland, whence the +Lombard family originally sprang; and there the lighted tar-barrels, +which had been placed on the ruins of the old castle, were extinguished, +to avoid unpleasant contact with a gang of rowdy roughs. + +Messrs. Lombard and Murphy had stated that they were buying on behalf of +the tenants. So I served them with notice that if they undertook to sell +to every tenant his own holding they might have the property. + +This they very wisely declined, and left me in the position that in 1879 +I finally purchased a property on what was called an indefeasible +Parliamentary title, under the approval of Her Majesty's Judges, and in +1881 an Act of Parliament practically took one-third of it from me. + +In 1881 I wrote a letter to Mr. Gladstone, asking him to take my +property and give me back my money. + +To this he returned an evasive answer, declining my offer. + +If the tenants had themselves bought the Harenc property at that time +they would by this time all be paupers, for they could only get +two-thirds of the money from Government, and would have had to borrow +the other third at a heavy rate of interest. + +One man, Mr. Hewson, bought one of the farms for L13,500, and under Mr. +Gerald Balfour's Act of 1896 it was compulsorily sold to the tenants for +about L6000. I have the exact figures at Tralee, but these are +approximate enough for the purpose of demonstration. + +Several of the other tenants took me into Court. + +I had a piece of reclaimable ground on my own hands which I let for +eight shillings an acre. The adjoining tenant, with exactly the same +nature of land--which he swore on oath he had paid more than the +fee-simple in improving--had his rent fixed by the County Court at four +shillings an acre. + +To be sure, if the County Court valuer had not done so, he would have +quickly lost his employment. The position is one incompatible with +honesty, and the value of land, apart from what you can get for it, is a +very disputable matter. + +My relations with my Harenc tenantry were always good. + +After the purchase in 1879 I had no trouble with them, and on the +contrary received the warmest thanks from the parish priest for my +conduct as a landlord. + +I drained soil and imported seed potatoes, besides executing other +improvements. The estate was not in good order when I purchased it, and +I know from other sources that the tenants were well satisfied with me. + +I may as well mention, that having no agencies on the Listowel side of +Kerry, I was never on the Harenc property before the question of +purchasing arose, and it had on it no house in which I and my family +could reside. + +Until 1881 no tenant made any hostile move, but one fellow, who took me +into the Land Court after the Land Act, presented a very curious case. + +This man, whose rent was sixty-five pounds a year, applied to the Court +for reduction. There was a press of business at the time which +necessitated an adjournment, but in the end the Court fixed the new rent +at the same amount as the old rent. + +The tenant appealed; but though the Appeal Court valuers attested that +it was worth seventy-five pounds a year, still the rent was unchanged. + +In other words, the Government sold me a farm and parliamentary title at +sixty-five pounds a year which one set of Commissioners thought fair and +the other thought cheap, and yet I had to spend more than half a year's +rent in defending my title to it. + +There is no appeal as to value, except to the head Commissioners. They +appoint two other Sub-Commissioners to inspect the land, and they of +course avoid disagreeing with their brethren. + +It is very like Mr. Spenlow in _David Copperfield_, who said, 'If you +are not satisfied with Doctors' Commons you can go to the delegates,' +and being asked who the delegates were, he replied that they came from +Doctors' Commons. + +I bought the Harenc property as a speculation, and it turned out a +confoundedly bad one. + +Once I had a conversation with a Land Leaguer on the subject. He said:-- + +'You bought a stolen horse, and must take the consequences.' + +'If that were so,' I retorted, 'I would have an action against the +Government which sold me the horse.' + +I had a correspondence on the subject with Mr. Chamberlain, which +elicited some remarkable letters; but as he marked all of his private +and confidential, they of course cannot be published. + +Now for a few anecdotes, just to show that I have not exhausted my +stock. + +It would be cruel to specify the individual of whom I can truthfully +say, he was the biggest fool that ever disfigured the Irish bench. + +He had been tutor to the children of a great peer, and his patron +subsequently pressed the Prime Minister to do something for him. + +'I can't make him a County Court judge,' said the Prime Minister, 'for +he would never decide rightly.' + +'Well,' said another Minister, 'we are going out, and have not the ghost +of a chance of ever getting in again in our time. Let him be +Solicitor-General for Ireland during the last weeks we hold office.' + +So this was done out of sheer good-nature; but after the election the +Government found themselves saddled with him, for in those days holders +of high office were not shelved at the caprice of Premiers, whilst the +country had unexpectedly returned the old gang to power. + +It has always been averred by the Irish Bar that an office was specially +created for the purpose of shunting this legal luminary into it, but as +an historical fact I will not vouch for the truth of the sarcasm. The +account of the Cabinet conclave came to me on excellent authority. + +When Chief Justice Monaghan died, Lord Morris, who was then a Puisne +Judge of Common Pleas, observed that he himself had a good chance of the +post. + +'What about Keagh and Lawson?' asked his acquaintance, they being +brother judges. + +'Very good men,' replied Lord Morris, 'but as they were not appointed by +the Tories, I don't think they'll promote them.' + +'And how about Ormsby?' continued the other. + +'Ah now,' said Morris, 'you are getting sarcastic.' + +There is a cheery story about Judge Keagh, who has just been mentioned. + +A number of brothers were before him, charged with killing a man at +Listowel. + +The judge was most anxious to ascertain from an important witness what +share each of the accused had in the murder. + +'What did John do?' + +'He struck him with his stick on the head.' + +'And James?' + +'James hit him with his fist on the jaw.' + +'And Philip?' + +'Philip tried to get him down and kick him.' + +'And Timothy?' + +'He could do nothing, my lord, but he was just walking round searching +for a vacancy.' + +Which reminds me that fair play is not always recognised as essential in +these matters, as the following anecdote shows. + +There was a faction feud between the Kellehers and Leehys near Sneem. + +One of the Leehys had a bad leg, and was therefore bound apprentice to a +shoemaker in Sneem. + +On a fair day a solitary Kelleher ventured into the town, and very +speedily the Leehys had half-killed and beaten him as well as their +numbers would allow. + +Suddenly there was a shout, and the poor lame Leehy came hobbling down +the street as fast as his wooden leg would permit. + +'Boys, for the love of mercy,' says he, 'let a poor cripple have one go +at the black-hearted varmint.' + +One of the counsel engaged in the Harenc case was Mr. Murphy, who was a +near relative of Judge Keagh, and he was a man of ready wit into the +bargain. + +There was a company promoter from London, who had induced several people +to take shares in a bogus concern, and was consequently defendant in an +action brought against him in Cork. + +He thought he would make an impression on the wild Irish by being +overdressed and gorgeously bejewelled. + +When Murphy arose to address the jury, he said:-- + +'Gentlemen of the jury, look at the well-tailored impostor without a rag +of honesty to take the gloss off his new clothes.' + +Another counsel in the case was Mr. Byrne. He was always in impecunious +circumstances despite his legal eloquence, but the lack of a balance at +his banker's never troubled him. + +Once he took Chief Justice Whiteside to see his new house in Dublin, +which he had furnished in sumptuous style. + +'Don't you think I deserve great credit for this?' he asked at length. + +'Yes,' retorted Whiteside, 'and you appear to have got it.' + +Lord Justice Christian, who had declined to sit on the Appeal, was +considered one of the soundest opinions in Ireland. When he ceased to be +sole Judge of Appeal, he had addressed the Bar after this fashion:-- + +'As this is the last time I sit as sole Judge of Appeal, it is an +opportune time for me to review my decisions. By a curious coincidence, +I have been thirteen years in this Court, and I have decided thirteen +cases which have been taken to the House of Lords. Eleven of my +decisions were confirmed, one appeal was withdrawn, and the last was a +purely equity case. The two equity lords went with me, the two common +law lords were against me, and when I inform the Bar that my judgment +was reversed on the casting vote of Lord O'Hagan, I do not think they +will attach much importance to the decision.' + +Judge Christian's allusion to the Land Act is most noteworthy, for he +said:-- + +'The property of the country is confided to the discretion of certain +roving commissioners without any fixed rules to guide and direct them. +In fact, we have reverted to the primitive state of society, where men +make and administer the laws in the same breath.' + +Reverting to the Harenc estate, a rather amusing account was once +perpetrated by a Special Commissioner. + +'Never heard tell of Ballybunion?' said his carman to the journalist as +on the road they met the carts laden with sand and seaweed from that +place. 'Why it's a great place intirely in the season, when quality from +all parts come for the sea-bathing.' + +As he evidently regarded it as the first watering-place in the world, +the Special Commissioner thought he had better see the place, and here +is his description:-- + +'A village perched on the summit of a cliff, an ancient castle of the +Fitz-Maurice clan, wonderful caves, and a little hotel are the leading +features of the place. + +'The morning after my arrival, I experienced a wish to see the cliffs +and caves, and no sooner were the words spoken than a figure bearing an +unlit torch appeared at the door. + +'It was Beal-bo (which may be translated into a somewhat Sioux +cognomen--the Yellow Cow). A figure in rags with an inimitable limp, and +a fashion of closing one eye that reminds one of Victor Hugo's Quasimodo +of Notre Dame. A more intimate acquaintance proved there was much +instruction, and a good deal of amusement, to be derived from this +strange character. + +'The grand cave is Beal-bo's special source of revenue. He regards it as +his own property, and takes a pride in it accordingly. This is the +theatre of the many wiles he practises upon unsuspecting strangers. When +he has lured them into the bowels of the cave, he turns down a gallery, +and informs them that they cannot get out unless they cross a pool about +five feet wide. When he has his victim upon his back, he seizes the +opportunity to levy blackmail, for the pool is a quicksand and he +suddenly affects great fear. After he has sunk to the knees in the +yielding sand, the tourist is glad enough to give him a shilling to +hurry across. + +'In another gallery it is necessary for the stranger to cross a pool on +a plank which Beal-bo provides for the occasion, and on this he charges +a toll. He used to let the water in to deepen the pools before the +tourists came through, in order to bring his plank into requisition. + +'Suspended on a cliff between heaven and sea, one hundred feet above the +water, on all sides were piled the immense masses of masonry, the ruins +of which are all that remains of the once proud Castle of Doon. Gazing +in awe down the horrid depths of the "Puffing Hole," Beal-bo informed +us:-- + +'"Twas there Brian used to sleep in the day, and come out at night to +milk the cows up in the Killarney hills, he and his dog."' + +The Special Commissioner looked incredulous, but Beal-bo was +confident:-- + +'"May I never be saved, sir, if I haven't seen him meself, many a night, +sir, as he climbed the cliffs backwards to rob the hawks' nests."' + +How can even a Special Commissioner dispute an eyewitness? + +Still the knowledge that I own a harbour of refuge for Brian will hardly +repay me for all the expense and anxiety the Harenc property has caused +me. + +Before quitting the subject, I can conclude with a more gratifying fact. + +At the time of the Tralee election, when I stood as a Conservative, a +small clique of mob orators and amateur politicians tried to make +political capital out of the history of the Harenc estate, and a priest, +Father M. O'Connor, rode the jaded topic to death. The unkindest cut of +all to him was the direct contradiction by the tenants themselves of +every assertion that their self-constituted champions made on their +behalf. + +'We, the tenants of the Harenc estate, think it our duty to state that +since Mr. S.M. Hussey became purchaser of the above estate, he has in +every respect treated us kindly. He was good enough to give us seed +potatoes for half the price they cost himself; he also drained our +portions of the land at two and a half per cent., employed all the +labourers, and paid them good wages while so employed by him. As a +landlord we find him liberal and generous.' + +To this were appended fifty signatures, and the best part of all is that +the whole of the manifesto was absolutely unsolicited by me, proving an +unexpected source of pleasure. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +KERRY ELECTIONS + + +An election in most places is an occasion for breaking heads, abusing +opponents, and other similar demonstrations of ardent local +philanthropy. Such opportunities are never lost by Kerry men, whose +heads are harder and whose wits are sharper than those of the average +run of humanity. If you are a real Kerry man of respectable convictions, +and self-respecting into the bargain, you will never let the man who is +drinking with you entertain any opinions but your own at election times. +If he contradicts you, it's up with your stick and a crack on his skull, +and as that only tickles him up--having much the effect of a nettle +under a donkey's tail--you then go outside and mutually destroy as much +of each other as can be effected in a fight. Some weeks later, when the +vanquished is able to crawl away from the dispensary doctor, and so save +his own life amid the dire forebodings of that physician, who refuses to +answer for the consequences, you begin to drink with him again just to +show there is no ill-feeling; which of course there is not, if you and +he are both real Kerry men. Naturally, if you get a sullen, revengeful, +calculating Protestant from the North, it's another matter, for he'll be +far too friendly with the constabulary and won't hold with the good old +local ways approved by every Kerry Papist and tolerated by most of the +priests. + +In 1851 there was a Kerry election. A Protestant candidate stood, and so +did one who in those days was a Whig. I went stoutly for the +Protectionist, but the priests plumped for the Free Trader, and their +congregations have been regretting it ever since. + +One tenant was driving in a gig with me to the poll when a priest passed +me on the road and said to my tenant:-- + +'May the blast of the Almighty be upon you, for I know you are being +taken to vote the wrong way.' + +The tenant got very nervous, for in those times it was generally +believed that the priests had power to change men into frogs and toads, +a superstition by no means obsolete even now in lone districts. However, +I took him along very easily, giving him the benefit of the roll of my +tongue as to what he should do, and before he reached the polling-booth +he recovered and voted for the Tory. + +A Mr. Scully from Tipperary was the Whig candidate, and the family was +not popular in its own county. + +A Cork man, making inquiries of a Tipperary man about him, was +answered:-- + +'I don't know this gentleman personally, but I believe we have already +shot the best of the family.' + +Mr. Scully was a very amusing man, and in the House of Commons he used +to go by the nickname of 'old Skull.' + +Lord Monk accosted him by this name one night, and Mr. Scully replied:-- + +'If you have taken the "e y" off your own name, my lord, it is no reason +you should do it off mine.' + +Here is another story of him. + +Mr. Dillwyn said to him, a Roman Catholic:--'I have lived sixty years in +this world, and I don't yet know the difference between the two +religions.' + +'Bydad,' retorted Scully, 'you will not have been five minutes in the +other without finding it out.' + +Shortly after the franchise was enlarged--which threw Imperial +Parliament at the mercy of the ignorant--old Lord Kenmare died and the +present peer was called up to the House of Lords. + +Lord Kenmare was the most popular landlord in Kerry, and he selected a +Roman Catholic cousin of his, Mr. Dease, to stand for the county, Mr. +Roland Blennerhasset, a young Protestant landlord, being started against +him in support of Home Rule principles. + +The Roman Catholic bishop and most of the priests backed Mr. Dease, but +the Home Rule candidate beat him by three to one. Some of the priests, +who were very obnoxious to the people, supported Mr. Blennerhasset, and +were then idolised, whilst a very popular parish priest, who canvassed +for Mr. Dease, had to run for his life. + +From thenceforth no one but a Home Rule candidate had any chance in +Munster, and Mr. Roland Blennerhasset, having seen the error of his +ways, afterwards became a Unionist candidate in England. He is a very +clever man, who was quite young then, but has now blossomed into a K.C. +in London, and is mighty shrewd about speculations. + +The election was great fun except for the stones and bricks, of which +enough were thrown about to build a city without foundations. Mr. Dease +got a blow on his ribs at Castle Island, which told on his health, and +he died soon afterwards. He was a brother of Sir Gerald Dease, and a man +very much liked. + +It was during this election that I was fired at one night at Aghadoe, +returning from Puck Fair at Killorghin. A rumour was started that it was +the work of one of the tenants on Sir George Colthurst's Cork estates, +and the Tralee correspondent of the _Examiner_ telegraphed his belief in +this, adding 'so repugnant are Kerry men to these dastardly outrages.' + +They took to them as greedily as a duck to water in later times, as all +the world knows; and in the light of subsequent events it is delightful +to remember that the _Freeman_ stated, 'All condemn this dastardly act, +for Mr. Hussey is universally respected.' + +It atoned for this lapse into truth by subsequently taking my name in +vain hundreds of times in the bad periods that were ahead. + +There had been a libel case between the Rev. Denis O'Donoghue, parish +priest of Ardfert, and myself. The address of this cleric in proposing +Mr. Blennerhasset at the nomination had annoyed those he assailed +intensely. Up to that point I had been utterly indifferent, but after +that I strained every nerve to defeat Father O'Donoghue's nominee. + +This is an extract from his speech at Ardfert:-- + +'Sam Hussey is a vulture with a broken beak, and he laid his voracious +talons on the consciences of the voters. (Boos.) The ugly scowl of Sam +Hussey came down upon them. He wanted to try the influence of his dark +nature on the poor people. (Groans). Where was the legitimate influence +of such a man? Was it in the white terror he diffused? Was it not the +espionage, the network of spies with which he surrounded his lands? He +denied that a man who managed property had for that reason a shadow of a +shade of influence to justify him in asking a tenant for his vote. What +had they to thank him for?' + +A voice: 'Rack rents.' + +'They knew the man from his boyhood, from his _gossoonhood_. He knew +him when he began with a _collop_ of sheep as his property in the world. +(Laughter.) Long before he got God's mark on him. It was not the man's +fault but his misfortune that he got no education. (Laughter.) He had in +that parish schoolmasters who could teach him grammar for the next ten +years. The man was in fact a Uriah Heep among Kerry landlords. +(Cheers.)' + +The result of this and other incentives to irritability was that the +voters for Mr. Dease had to be escorted by troops and constabulary. + +The sporting proclivities had already been shown over a race. In the +County Club at Tralee there was an altercation between Mr. Sandes and a +leading 'Deasite' as to the rival merits of a bay mare belonging to one +and a chestnut horse owned by the other. + +Quoth Mr. Sandes:-- + +'I'll run you a two mile steeplechase for a hundred guineas if you like, +and I'll call my horse Home Rule--do you call yours Deasite; each to +ride his own horse.' + +No Kerry man could refuse such a challenge, and the race excited more +interest than the election. + +Mr. Sandes won, leaving 'Deasite' nowhere, and this helped Mr. +Blennerhasset to head the poll. + +More than one man is asserted to have voted for:--'Him you know that me +landlord wants me to vote for.' + +But I should say several dozen voted for:-- + +'Him you know that the priest, God bless him, tells me to vote for.' + +The libel over which the action arose was alleged to have been published +in the _Cork Examiner_, and the words complained of were pretty sturdy. + +The jury returned a verdict of one farthing for the plaintiff priest, +and I do not think he derived as much advertisement out of it as Miss +Marie Corelli obtained from a similar coin of the realm. + +Of course all this should have shown me that I had in my own interests +better keep clear of Kerry politics, but after I had bought the Harenc +estate, I stood for Tralee as a Tory against The O'Donoghue, who was a +Nationalist. I never supposed I was going to get in, but I really had a +capital run for the Parliamentary Handicap, though I was weighted by +political convictions and penalised by my creed. The priests made a most +active set against me. There were only fifty Protestants on the +register, and yet I managed to get one hundred and thirty votes, for +which suffrages some eighty honest men must have been well worrited in +the confessional. + +The O'Donoghue polled one hundred and eighty votes, and I believe a good +many of his supporters had strong views on the currency question, and he +was backed by a wealthy merchant. The constituency is now merged into +the county, and the remotest chance of returning a rational member is +now at an end. + +The O'Donoghue did not stand after the merging of the constituency, +though he was well used to electioneering work and had fought me very +pleasantly, with as much devil about him as would make an angel +palatable. + +I did not much care for the whole thing. Still I was always a bit of a +stormy petrel rejoicing in a gale, and my capacity has not waned even in +my eightieth year. + +The mob indulged in some lively work. A good many windows of houses +belonging to my supporters were broken and a man stabbed. + +The polling day was made the occasion of a public holiday, which meant +that the bulk of the population was imbibing a great deal more than was +compatible with the laws of equilibrium. Some amusement was caused by +the panic of The O'Donoghue's supporters at the votes I was getting, and +presently they brought up in cars one poor man in an advanced stage of +consumption, and another unable to walk from old age. + +It was a wearisome day to me; but before its close it became abundantly +evident that if the electors were allowed to exercise a free discretion +and vote according to their consciences, I should have headed the poll +by a large majority. However in Ireland man proposes and the priest +disposes. + +At a meeting of the Conservative electors in Cork, Mr. Standford read a +telegram announcing the return of The O'Donoghue in Tralee, which was +received with hisses. He said the reason I had stood there was a +requisition, signed by Sir Henry Donovan, in the presence of nine grand +jurors of the County of Kerry, calling on me to do so. Sir Henry Donovan +had since turned over to The O'Donoghue from the man he had forced into +the field. Now that would teach them not to be fooled by Liberal +promises. It almost made him believe no truth, no honour, and no +sincerity existed among their opponents. + +This was received with applause, which was renewed with laughter when +Mr. Young observed:-- + +'I will make one remark. I think Sir Henry Donovan and The O'Donoghue +are well met.' + +To show that strong views in my favour were not confined to Protestants, +I may quote the following letter written from the Augustinian Convent in +Drogheda by J.A. Anderson, O.S.A.:-- + +'If the electors of Tralee return Mr. O'Donoghue (_alias_ The +O'Donoghue) as their representative in the coming Parliament, they will +be false to Ireland, false to the men that galvanised the dead body that +Gavan Duffy left on "the dissecting table" before starting for +Australia, and they will have the honour (?) of returning to Parliament +the greatest political renegade to Irish nationality that this +generation has known.' + +A lady has recently drawn my attention to a footnote in Mr. Lecky's +_History of Ireland_, where is quoted from a letter of my ancestor, +Colonel Maurice Hussey, the following opinion:-- + +'It--i.e. Tralee--was a nest of thieves and smugglers, and so it always +will be until nine parts of ten of O'Donoghue's old followers be +proclaimed and hanged on gibbets on the spot.' + +So when O'Donoghues have troubled me, it is a case of history repeating +itself, and if the percentage of the followers of the modern chieftain +had been 'removed'--as the modern phrase in Ireland ran--according to +the manner advocated by my ancestor, I could have voted in Parliament +against dismembering the Empire to gratify the eagerness of an old man +to truckle to the traitors of the country intrusted to his care. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +DRINK + + +Of course one of the great troubles in Ireland is drink. I am no +advocate for teetotalism, for I think a man who can enjoy a moderate +glass is a better one than his brother who has to drink water in order +that he may not yield to the overpowering 'tempitation'--to quote Mr. +Huntley Wright--to get drunk! But for my fellow-countrymen I can see +that drink is a terrible curse, one which is the cause of half the +crime, half the illness, and more than half the misery that exists +there. + +Of all Irish benefactors, possibly Father Mathew was the greatest; but +in my boyish days, when it became known that men, not yet in a lunatic +asylum, had taken up the notion that human life was possible without +alcoholic drinks, the wits of Kerry and Cork were heartily diverted at +the bare idea. + +It used to be the stock joke after dinner, even when Father Mathew was +in the zenith of his triumph. + +In Cork if you laugh at a thing you can generally suppress it, for, +whereas all Irishmen are keenly susceptible to ridicule, the Cork folk +are even more so. + +The cold water business furnished endless jests, but it survived them. + +Perhaps the strangest thing of all was the clergyman who preached +against it as being irreligious, taking as the text of his sermon, +'Wine, that maketh glad the heart of man.' + +I like a man who is disinterested, therefore I wish to remind the +present generation that Father Mathew came of a stock of distillers, and +his family was among the first to suffer by his preaching. + +It was probable there would be a reaction after his death; and when that +event took place, after the famine and fever, none really took his place +to warn the diminishing population, in sufficiently effective fashion, +of all the ills that drink was laying up for them. + +Wherever, in my work, I found Government relief works, within a stone's +throw of every pay office a whisky shop started into operation. + +New Ireland arose from the famine, and she has never since shown much +sign of temperance. Indeed, an excessive amount of money is, and has +ever since then been, spent on liquor in Ireland. + +At Castleisland, the scene of so many outrages, the population of the +town is thirteen hundred, and the number of whisky shops is fifty-two. +Very nearly the same proportion can be noticed in several other towns. + +There never was an outrage committed without an empty whisky bottle +being found close to the scene of the murder. + +In the worst time a moonlighter slept for a fortnight close to the house +of an Irish landlord, who was well aware that he was there for the +express purpose of shooting him, but he never even attempted it. + +'Time after time I lay in a ditch to have a go at him, but he would ride +by, looking for all the world as if he would shoot a flea off the tail +of a shnipe, so that, with all the whisky in the world to help me, I +dared not do it,' was his explanation before he left for America. + +Did you never hear the parish priest's sermon? + +'It's whisky makes you bate your wives; it's whisky makes your homes +desolate; it's whisky makes you shoot your landlords, and'--with +emphasis, as he thumped the pulpit--'it's whisky makes you miss them.' + +There is as much truth in that sermon as in any that was preached last +Sunday between Belfast and Glengariff. + +As a matter of fact, the profits to the drink retailer are not so +enormous as might be imagined, owing to the competition. + +In the neighbourhood of Castleisland there is one group of twelve houses +and nine of these are whisky booths. However anxious the population may +be to consume immoderate amounts of the fiery liquor, and however large +the traffic on the road--never a big thing in Ireland, except on +market-day--the division of the local receipts by nine is apt to +diminish the profits in each case. + +It has been suggested to me by a lady who knows Kerry well, that the +consumption of drink might be diminished if a law were passed forcing +the publicans to sell food. As she very truly remarks, it is often +impossible for the country folk, even on market-day, when coming into a +town, to get food for immediate consumption. + +However, I do not think this would have any effect. When away from his +cabin the Irishman and the Irishwoman want drink, not food, for there +are a few potatoes at home which will provide all the solid sustenance +most of them desire. + +If her proposal were made law, each publican would keep a loaf in his +window, and there it would stay for a year. + +That reminds me of the man who was waiting in Waterford Station on March +12th, and to pass the time had a ham sandwich at the bar. + +After one mouthful he asked the astonished barmaid for another, made of +February bread, because he really felt that it was time January bread +might have a rest. + +To give an example of how Irishmen crave for drink, I will relate an +incident connected with the Parnell Commission. + +Three of Lord Kenmare's tenants had been sent over in charge of an +experienced and reliable man to give evidence, and on their return +journey, when they arrived at North Wall--the hour being 6 A.M.--the +conductor said:-- + +'There is cold meat, or bread and cheese. Now, what will your fancy be?' + +Far from wanting nutrition after an all night journey, or even the +soothing solace of a cup of tea, it was half a pint of whisky apiece +that they all asked for. + +Just as much drinking exists among the Protestants as among the Roman +Catholics, only there is a trifle more geniality in the bibulous +propensities of the latter. Much less affects an Irishman than a +Scotsman. The latter, when he has absorbed all the whisky he can +assimilate in a bout--and no bad amount it is, let me observe--will go +quietly to sleep. But an Irishman's joy is incomplete unless he knocks +somebody down, which may account for the fact that the Irish are the +best soldiers in the world. + +One redeeming feature in the liquor traffic is the increasing +consumption of porter, for that at least has some nourishment in it, and +is reasonably wholesome, whereas the whisky is vilely adulterated, not +only by the publicans before it reaches the consumer, but also in some +of the factories. + +Puck Fair is the great annual fete and mart of Killorglin; and it is so +called because a goat is always fastened to a stave on a platform, and +gaily bedizened. Formerly the animal was attached to the flagstaff on +the Castle. To this fair all Kerry for many miles congregates, and the +neighbouring roads towards evening are literally strewn with bibulous +individuals of either sex. + +On one occasion a Killorglin publican was in jail, and his father asked +for an interview because he wanted the recipe for manufacturing the +special whisky for Puck Fair. It has been a constant practice to prepare +this blend, but the whisky does not keep many days, as may be gathered +from the recipe, which the prisoner without hesitation dictated to his +parent:-- + +A gallon of fresh, fiery whisky. A pint of rum. A pint of methylated +spirit. Two ounces of corrosive sublimate. Three gallons of water. + +An Irishman's constitution must be tougher than that of an ostrich to +enable him to consume much of the filthy poison. Temperance orators are +welcome to make what use they like of the recipe of this awful +decoction, annually sold to a confiding population. + +It is not considered etiquette to come out of Killorglin sober on Puck +Fair; and, judging by the state of the people in the vicinity in the +evening, this social custom is rigidly observed. + +They are wonderfully particular in Kerry in attending to exactly what is +congenial to them, and if it were not for the thickness of their heads a +good many lives would be lost. + +There was a gauger, in a central county in Ireland, killed by a blow on +the head from a stick. + +The man who struck him, in his defence, stated:-- + +'I did not hit him a very hard blow, and why the devil did the +Government make a gauger of a man that had a head no thicker than an +egg-shell?' + +Mighty few of the Killorglin folk have egg-shell heads, and the bulk of +these do not come to maturity. + +The avowed fact that lunacy is largely on the increase in Ireland has +been pronounced by the committee which sat on the question in Dublin to +be mainly due, not only to excessive drinking, but to the assimilation +of adulterated spirits. + +Though the foregoing recipe furnishes a pretty fair example, I certainly +would not wager that it could not be beaten elsewhere in Ireland. + +For a long time the priests were entirely apathetic on the subject, but +latterly they are bestirring themselves, and are doing their best to put +down wakes, which simply mean one or more nights of disgusting +intemperance in the immediate vicinity of the corpse. + +Keening, by the way, is dying out, and what remains of this curious, +mournful waiting is now almost entirely in the hands of old women who +are experts in the art, and get remunerated not only in drink but also +in cash. + +It is, however, possible that when I am deploring the alcoholic +tendencies of the Irishman, that these may be due to his more vegetarian +dietary, and not to any undue natural craving for alcohol. This is borne +out by the fact that no Irishman will willingly drink alone, and that +his potations are in the shops where whisky and porter are sold for +consumption on the premises, or at fairs, markets, weddings, or wakes, +to the diminishing number of which I have just called attention. + +The parish priest of Dingle recently stated in court that in a +population of seventeen hundred there were over fifty licensed houses, +and he rightly declared that all dealings in licences should for the +present be only by transfer, and that for five years at least no new +licences should be granted. The argument so often heard against stopping +licences is that then more illicit drinking will ensue, but this does +not convince me that the redundant licences should be renewed. + +My remedy would be to increase all renewals of licences to fifty pounds +apiece, and to apply the difference as compensation to unrenewed +licences. If a man fits up his house as a shebeen, and has conducted it +tolerably, he ought to receive just compensation when his licence is +cancelled owing to there being too many in a district. + +If this is not done, he would be the victim of as great a robbery as was +perpetrated on the unfortunate landlords by the Land Act. + +I have a yarn or two on the subject of drink which may be appropriately +related here. + +Old David Burus, the steward at Ardrum, County Cork, was a great +character who had got inextricably confused between the Council of Trent +and the Trant family in the vicinity, and no amount of explanation could +ever enlighten him. Directly he had begun to be jovial, he used to +say:-- + +'My blessing on Councillor Trent, who put a fast on meat, but not on +drink.' + +And he proved the devoutness of his gratitude by conscientiously getting +drunk every Friday. + +That recalls to my mind the case of the illustrious gentleman--also a +fellow-countryman, I regret to say--who committed burglary and murder +when there was an opportunity, but religiously refrained from eating +meat on Friday. + +Reverting to David Burus: on one occasion I remonstrated with him on the +amount of whisky he drank. + +'I did drink a great deal of whisky, and I would have drunk more.' was +his reply, 'if I had known it was going to be as dear as it is now.' + +He evidently regretted not having thoroughly saturated himself with +alcohol. It was the only way in which he could have possibly increased +his consumption. + +He was wont to say that if he had known the trick Mr. Gladstone was +going to play on honest, God-fearing men, with sound stomachs and a +decent appetite, by imposing a ten shilling duty on every gallon of +whisky, he would have drunk his fill beforehand, even if _delirium +tremens_ had been the penalty. + +Such hard drinking as his, and so calmly avowed, must, even in the south +of Ireland, be fortunately rare, for few constitutions can stand +conversion into animated whisky vats. + +There was a farmer at Kanturk railway station who confided to the +stationmaster that he himself on the previous evening had been as drunk +as the very devil. + +A parson on the platform, overhearing him, said:-- + +'You make a mistake, my friend, the devil does not drink. He keeps his +head cool for the express purpose of watching such as you.' + +The countryman replied:-- + +'You seem to be very well acquainted with the respected gentleman's +habits, your riverince.' + +And then they walked off different ways. + +Which reminds me of another clerical incident. + +A parish priest within twenty miles of Tralee, who subsequently left the +Church--I will not say on account of his thirst, though, as that was +unquenchable, it no doubt conduced to his retirement--came into the +parlour of the manager of the bank with two farmers to have a bill +discounted. + +The manager, having ascertained the farmers were good security, cashed +the bill and gave the proceeds to the priest. He was very much surprised +on the following day at the two farmers walking into his room with the +money. + +'What's the meaning of this?' says he. + +'Well, your honour, we could not stay in the parish, if we refused to +join his reverence in the deal, which was sure to be a very bad one for +us. So we thought the best thing to do was to get him a little hearty at +his own expense on the way home. And then we picked his pocket and have +brought the money to your honour, whilst he is cursing every thief +outside his parish, and will probably ask the congregation to make up +the amount next Sunday.' + +And that is a true story, and as illustrative of the Irish peasant as +any you could ever get told to you. + +A coffin-maker named Sullivan thrived in Tralee. He received an order +for a coffin for a man living about six miles away from the town. It was +not called for for a week, and so he went out to the house where the man +lay dead to inquire the cause. + +When he came back to Tralee, he said to a friend:-- + +'Who do you think I saw, Mick, but that scoundrel of a corpse sitting in +a ditch eating a piece of pig's cheek.' + +That reminds me of another coffin story. + +A man who lived in Cork was notorious for being always behind time for +everything. He knew his failing, and was rather touchy about it. + +One night, stumbling out of a whisky shop, he lurched into a yard, fell +against a door, which gave way, and finished his slumbers peacefully in +the shed, which was the storehouse of an undertaker. + +In the morning he awoke, rubbed his eyes in astonishment at the strange +surroundings amid which he found himself, and after recollecting his own +pet proclivity, as he ruefully surveyed all the empty coffins, +ejaculated:-- + +'Just my usual luck. Late for the Resurrection.' + +Which recalls another tale:-- + +A man was dead drunk, so some friends, for a lark, brought him into a +dark room, lit a lot of phosphorus, and made up one of their party in +the guise of a devil before they flung a bucket of water over their +victim. + +'Where am I?' asked the fellow, looking round 'skeered.' + +'In hell,' retorted the devil, with exaggerated solemnity. + +'Heaven bless your honour, as you know the ways of the place, will you +get me a drop of drink?' + +But a mere drop does not suffice as a friend of mine found out. + +He was wont to reward his car-driver with a glass of whisky, and gave it +to him in an antique glass, which did not contain as much as cabby +wished for. + +'That's a very quare glass, captain,' says he. + +'Yes,' replied Captain Stevens; 'that's blown glass.' + +'Why, Captain,' says the carman, 'the man must have been damned short in +the breath that blew that.' + +This would no doubt have been the opinion of a Dublin carman who was in +the habit of bringing a present to an acquaintance of mine from a lady +living at some distance, and being recompensed with a glass of grog. By +degrees, however, the water grew to be the predominant partner in the +union within the glass, so at last he burst out in disgust:-- + +'If you threw a tumbler of whisky over Carlisle Bridge, it would be +better grog than that at the Pigeon House.' + +Which being interpreted into cockneyism would read, 'If you threw a +glass of whisky over Westminster Bridge it would be better grog than +that at Greenwich Pier.' + +Still all consumption of liquor is not confined to Ireland, and I well +remember when I was with Bogue in Scotland, that one night he had a +fellow-farmer of the very best type to dine with him, and about ten +o'clock, with much difficulty, my man and I hoisted him into the saddle. + +An hour afterwards we heard a knock at the door, and a voice rather +quaveringly inquired:-- + +'Pleash, can you tell me the way to X., I have lost my way?' + +The tracks next morning revealed he had been riding round and round the +house without once quitting the vicinity, which was almost as bad as +Mark Twain's famous nocturnal perambulation with his pedometer, when he +went on a tramp abroad! + +Of potation stories I could tell scores more, and the Tralee Club has +seen enough whisky imbibed within its walls to drown all the members. + +A quaint character named Mullane was at one time steward, and decidedly +astonished a member, who was a total abstainer, by charging him in his +bill for three tumblers of punch. + +'Well,' explained Mullane, 'it's this way. Some take six tumblers, and +some takes none, so I strikes an average--and to tell you the truth, +it's mighty convenient for the great majority.' + +A quaint member of the club was Mr. Edward Morris. He was extremely +diminutive, and he wore an eyeglass. One evening he was standing on the +first landing, pondering in a bemused state whether he could get +downstairs without falling, when a pursey little doctor trotted past him +without even touching the bannister. + +This inspired Morris with courage, so he let go his hold of the +balustrade, whereupon he promptly fell on the physician, and both rolled +to the bottom of the stairs. + +Thence in hiccuping tones were heard:-- + +'Waiter! Waiter, put the glass in my eye, and let me see who the +scoundrel was who struck me.' + +On another evening in the club, when he had imbibed very freely, he +ordered an additional glass of grog, and began to moralise aloud, +addressing it after this fashion:-- + +'Glass of grog, if I drink you now, you'll cut the legs from under me. +And yet I want you, and I will not do without you. So I know what I will +do. I'll go to bed and I'll drink you there, for I don't care a damn +what you do to me then.' + +The indifference of a drunken man to subsequent consequences was rather +quaintly shown by that weird individual Dr. Tanner, when he went up to +Sir Ellis Ashmead Bartlett in the lobby of the House of Commons, and +abruptly observed:-- + +'You're a fool.' + +Sir Ellis fixed him with his eyeglass, and, in disgusted tones, +replied:-- + +'You're drunk.' + +'I suppose so,' retorted the Irishman, 'but then I'll be sober +to-morrow'--in the most plaintive tone, then in a crescendo of scorn--' +whereas you'll always be a fool.' + +Moreover as he slouched down the lobby, he was heard to say:-- + +'If I do get a headache, I've a head to have it in, not a frame on which +to hang an eyeglass.' + +That is a political amenity on which I will not dwell. + +Very little money-lending is to be heard of in the south of Ireland, and +in all my experience I only remember one case in Kerry. Tenants in +Ireland, however, have great horror of breaking bulk, and many of them +will do a bill for a neighbour when they have deposits in the bank for +themselves. As it is a point of honour never to refuse a friend in this +respect, you can easily imagine the amount of 'paper' which is +fluttering. + +Even when a farmer has a tidy sum of money on deposit with the bank at +one per cent., if he wants to employ a sum for a short time, say for the +purchase of cattle, he prefers to raise the money on a bill at six per +cent. + +That is to say, the bank is lending him his own money at five per +cent.--a truly Hibernian trait, which it would be difficult to beat +anywhere. + +A bill for drink is not recoverable, but occasionally an insidious +publican will take a man's I.O.U. and sue on that. + +One applied to me to help him to get the money from a tenant. + +'You must show me the account,' said I. + +As I suspected, there was whisky in it, and I declined on the spot. + +All drink in Ireland is on cash down terms only. + +If they gave tick, they would never recover the money, and if every +Irishman is a knowing scoundrel, the publican is a trifle more +knowledgable than the customer, whose brains are besodden. + +A man, who had been a servant of mine, started a public near Tralee, and +thinking he would get customers from the other whisky stores, he gave +tick. His popularity lasted just as long as the tick did, and a week +later he was broke. I do not say so much about Tralee being able to +support one hundred and sixty liquor shops, because there is a little +shipping, but how Cahirciveen can enable fifty publicans to thrive is a +melancholy mystery to me. + +I was animadverting once, at Dingle, on the topic, when one of my +labourers remarked:-- + +'It's the gentry does the drinking.' + +'Now that's very curious,' said I, 'for as there are only two of us, and +as I never touch spirits, the other must have such a thirst that he'd +consume the bay if only it were made of whisky.' + +In these democratic days, it is as well to resist any undue aspersion on +the upper classes. + +To pass any aspersion on the bibulous propensities of a tenant of mine +named Flaherty would be impossible. When he was buying his farm, I told +him the Government ought to take him on very easy terms, when they +became his landlords. + +'And for why?' he asked. + +'Because,' I replied, 'the duty you pay on the whisky you drink is more +than twenty times your annual rent.' + +I had, however, one personal illustration of the drinking propensity in +Scotland, which I think is worth preserving. It is some years now since +I went to see a certain farmer who, his wife told me, on noticing my +approach, was compelled to go upstairs to cool his head as it was after +dinner. She said this much in the same casual tone, as I should mention +that my wife had gone up early to dress for that meal. + +Next, I heard heavy splashing of water, and then a crash which portended +that the farmer had fallen over the washstand, making a fearful clatter. + +In rushed the drab of a servant maid, perfectly indifferent to my +presence, shrieking:-- + +'O missus, come up, come up, the maister is just miraculous among the +chaney!' + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +PRIESTS + + +I have been asked, since my friends became aware that I am perpetrating +my reminiscences, whether I was going to write anything supplemental to +Mr. MacCarthy's _Priests and People_, and _Five Tears in Ireland_. + +My reply was:-- + +'Certainly not.' + +To begin with, I have many friends among Roman Catholics, and plenty of +cheery acquaintances among the priests. Secondly, the state of feud and +hostility on which Mr. MacCarthy dilates is more likely to be found in +Ulster and Leinster than in Kerry, where the Roman Catholics form more +than nine-tenths of the population. + +On one occasion, when a distinguished Englishman was staying at +Killarney House, I told him that he should go to the north to see the +strangest sight in the world--two races hating one another for the love +of God. + +It is not my business to estimate what would happen in Kerry if a few +thousand rabid Orangemen were plumped down among the present +inhabitants; but according to existing circumstances creeds are not torn +to tatters nor religion disfigured by strife and slander. + +All the same, I am bound to say that the Roman Catholic priests, when I +was young, were much superior to those of to-day. They were drawn from a +better class, because, having to be educated at Rome, or, at least, as +far away as St. Omer, entailed some considerable outlay by their +relatives. Moreover, they brought back from their continental seminaries +broader ideas than can be acquired in purely Irish colleges. Their +interest had been stimulated at the most impressionable age in much of +which the farmers and labourers had no conception. Therefore the priest +could address his flock with authority, and was invariably looked up to +as well as obeyed. + +The parish priest at Blarney erected a tower in commemoration of the +battle of Waterloo, and a public house in the vicinity bears the name to +this day. + +What parish priest would raise a memorial to any English victory in the +twentieth century? + +The greatest curse to the Irish nation has been Maynooth, because it has +fostered the ordination of peasants' sons. These are uneducated men who +have never been out of Ireland, whose sympathies are wholly with the +class from which they have sprung, and who are given no training +calculated to afford them a broader view than that of the narrowest +class prejudice. + +As for the much discussed Irish university, I do not myself believe it +will be founded. + +Should even an English Government be blind enough to allow it, an Irish +university could only become a hot-bed of treason, and practically all +educated members of the Roman Catholic community would avoid sending +their sons to such a seminary of sedition, where the influence would be +insidiously directed to make the undergraduates even more hostile to +England than they already are by inherited instincts and by all they +have been told in their own homes. + +On the very day this page is written, I have mentioned the question of +an Irish university to two Protestants in the Carlton, both Members of +Parliament, and both approved of the idea in a languid way. I have also +mooted the topic this afternoon to two leading Roman Catholics, and both +vehemently disapproved, alleging that it will work endless mischief. + +As far back as 1872 Dr. Macaulay wrote:-- + +'The Irish university question has been put off from year to year, and +at length presses for settlement.' + +In the best interests of Ireland, may the same thing be written thirty +years hence! + +If the Roman Catholics of England send their sons to Oxford and +Cambridge, why should not more Irish Roman Catholics send theirs to +Trinity College, Dublin? Only a very few do, although the education is +said to be quite as good as at either of the great English Universities. +A far tighter hold is kept, however, on the Roman Catholic laity in +Ireland than in England. It always surprises English people to learn +that, in Ireland, Roman Catholics are not allowed to enter Protestant +churches to attend either funerals or weddings. Nor do I think there is +much probability of these restrictions being removed. + +Of course, in the years of outrage and terror in Ireland, many of the +priests from the altar denounced loyal members of the congregation, or +incited their hearers to deeds of wickedness by their inflammatory +sermons. These facts are among the blackest in the history of any creed, +and I do not hesitate to class the work of some of the priests who +disgraced their Church with the worst perpetrations of the Spanish +Inquisition. + +Fortunately all priests were not, and are not, after this style. I have +known many good and worthy men among them, as well as capital fellows, +fond of a joke. Moreover, the Roman Catholic Church did not always take +the side of the Land League. + +For example, the bishops and parish priests laboured assiduously to get +Lord Granard his rents from his estates in Longford. + +Why? + +Because Maynooth held a great mortgage on the property. + +In the famous De Freyne case, the parish priest energetically assisted +the landlord in every way in his power, because the property was heavily +mortgaged with Roman Catholic charges. + +These are two facts that occur to me on the spur of the moment, and +probably other people could supply similar instances. + +As for the Episcopacy, it was the violence of Dr. Walsh, the Archbishop +of Dublin, which prevented him from obtaining the coveted cardinal's +hat. This was given to Dr. Logue, the Archbishop of Armagh and Primate +of Ireland, a witty, capable, clever man, who had such an inveterate +habit of taking snuff that he did so even when conversing with Queen +Victoria. + +'It prevents me from sniffing out heresy,' he explained, with a twinkle, +'and so gives me an excuse for shutting my eyes to the different views +of my neighbours.' + +The Queen was much amused, but the remark conveyed a true view of Irish +Catholicism. + +The fact is, his bishop can do very little with a treasonable man when +once he has been inducted a parish priest; and the curate who obtains +irregular fees, of course, panders even more to the taste of his +congregation. A bishop will haul up a tonsured subordinate mighty sharp +for any breach of ecclesiastical duty, but when it comes to politics and +instigation to crime, he finds it far more difficult to keep a tight +hand. + +As a broad rule it may be stated that the bishops are well selected, and +are of a much higher type than the average priest. + +Of the bishops of Killarney, Moriarty put down Fenianism with no light +hand, preaching, as I have already shown, in the most manly and emphatic +style--which could have been emulated with advantage in other +Episcopacies in my country. MacCarthy was a bookworm from Maynooth, who +played the deuce with the diocese, allowing all the priests to run wild, +and by his laxity becoming criminally responsible for much of the +terrible condition of Kerry. Higgins was the nominee of a friend of +Moriarty, and he worked hard to suppress outrages, by which course he +certainly did not add to his popularity among his flock. In his upright +and courageous conduct he has been worthily emulated by his successor, +Coffey, whose demise occurred only in the present year. + +Kerry possesses one bishop, fifty-one parish priests and administrators, +sixty-nine curates, and eleven priests occupied in tuition. + +There are six religious houses for males, and seventeen convents, +representing about five hundred inhabitants, as well as three hundred +students, which, with the occupants of subsidiary sacerdotal +establishments, is estimated to make up 1265 persons. + +In 1871, when the population of Kerry was 196,586, there were 337 +priests and nuns. In 1901, when the population had become reduced to +165,726, the priests and nuns had increased to 546. + +And these statistics bring me to a salient point:-- + +The one reality above all others in Irish life is the grip of the +Church. + +In the last book which I have received from the library--_Paddy-Risky_ +by Mr. Andrew Merry--one of the stories is that of a poor widow +beggaring herself in order to provide the parish chapel with a bell, and +that is the kind of thing you hear of everywhere. + +The Roman Catholic Church presides over every function in the life of +each member of its community, and the priest charges heavily for +administering the rites. + +At a wedding he does not take a prescribed fee, but makes a bargain, +usually with the family of the bride. I have known as much as +twenty-five pounds paid to a priest at a small farmer's marriage; and +the sum obtained is very often out of all proportion to the dowry of the +bride, or even to the funds of the happy pair. + +An example may be cited--the case of a labourer in my own employ, who +received forty pounds as his wife's fortune, and had to pay eight to the +parish priest. + +It is the same thing with funerals, over which a ridiculous amount is +still spent, although the wake is falling into disrepute under the ban +of the Church, and women are now rarely hired to 'keen.' There is a +craze to have a number of priests attending the service, and a good many +of them do go, very well pleased, as to a picnic. + +In parishes where the poverty is something appalling the members of the +congregation not only contribute Peter's Pence, but you cannot go into +the chapel without seeing some tiny candles lighted before the altar of +Mary, which must literally represent the scriptural mites of the widow +and orphan. + +Before I relapse into a few stories, let me say something about the +Protestant clergy. + +They are nearly always recruited from the ranks of the smaller Irish +gentry, and whilst, perhaps, richer in proportion than many of the +curates and incumbents in England, there are no 'fat' livings, and all +are distinctly poorer since the Disestablishment. + +The average in Kerry, and over most of the south of Ireland, is a +stipend of two hundred pounds a year, which involves reading services in +two churches each Sunday, and therefore puts the clergyman to the +expense of keeping a horse and trap. + +About 1820 the district around Castleisland was divided into three +parishes--Castleisland, Ballincushlane, and Killeentierna--the joint +revenues of which were eighteen hundred a year. These were vested in the +Lord Bandon of the time, who lived in the lovely cottage on the upper +Lake of Killarney. + +He allowed a curate fifty pounds a year to do the joint duties, and I +hardly think the man was worth the money. He subsequently obtained a +Government living and was in the habit of asking his congregation, as +they went into church, whether they wanted a sermon or not. The general +concensus of opinion was a polite negative--to the relief of all +parties. + +The method of electing a vicar in Ireland since the Disestablishment is +both sensible and practical. + +Three parish nominators, one lay diocesan nominator, two clerical +diocesan nominators, and the bishop, between them, choose the new +incumbent. By the constitution of this Court of Election, it is certain +that no one will be appointed to whom the parish objects, whilst if the +parish desires the nomination of an incompetent man, that is checked by +the diocesan voters in conjunction with the bishop. + +In fact it is an admirable system, far better than the patronage plan +still rampant in England. + +The Irish bishops are also chosen by nominators drawn from the clergy +and laity of the diocese, provided a two-thirds majority be obtained for +any one candidate. If not, the Irish bench of bishops jointly selects +the new wearer of lawn sleeves. + +This, again, works with perfect smoothness and never arouses the +ill-feeling aroused by the selections nominally made by the Prime +Minister. To-day the _Foundations of Belief_ may not be an essay which +causes confidence in the ability of the author to pick the best bishops, +and all the much-vaunted religious convictions of Mr. Gladstone did not +make his nominations to the Episcopacy particularly successful. It is +now no secret that Lord Cairns used to choose bishops for Disraeli and +that Lord Shaftesbury often was consulted by Prime Ministers who knew +more about sport than clericalism. + +So far as I can recollect, among all the Irish clergy I have met not one +was an Englishman, though there are plenty of Irish in the English +Established Church. + +All the Disestablished Church of Ireland is exceedingly +anti-ritualistic. + +'I do not want Mock-Turtle, when I am so near real Turtle,' said Sir +George Shiel, when asked to visit St. Alban's, Holborn, one of the +Ritualistic temples--an observation which represents the feeling +animating clergy and laity in Ireland, though they are none the better +pleased that out of the funds of the Disestablishment, Maynooth should +have received a capitalised sum equal to the previous annual grant from +Government. + +And now for just a few clerical tales. + +A man was dying and the priest was with him. + +'Ah, Father Philip,' said the poor fellow, 'I am sure the likes of you +would never be deceiving a poor man and him on his deathbed. Tell me +straight, is my soul all right?' + +'It is, my son, and in a very short time you'll be in the company of the +Blessed Saints.' + +'In that case, Father, I'll tell the devil he may just kiss my toe and +bad luck to him for all the trouble I have had to get out of his +clutches,' and the priest noticed his last sigh was one of complete +satisfaction--no doubt anticipatory. + +Purgatory forms the foundation of many stories. + +A certain very poor widow was paying the priest money for the soul of +her son, who was killed in a faction fight. + +'And it's more masses you must have Mrs. Murphy, for Paddy has only got +his red hair out of purgatory.' + +Later, when she was asked for further contributions:-- + +'It's his mouth which is out now, and he sends his mother on earth +messages to have prayers said to get him to heaven.' + +A third time did Widow Murphy give the priest what she could not in the +least afford. + +Yet again he reported progress. + +'Now you must make a great effort, for his head and shoulders are out of +purgatory.' + +'Then it's devil another penny of mine will go for masses, for if my Pat +has his head and shoulders out, I can safely reckon he'll soon wriggle +himself away entirely, God bless the poor darling.' + +Another purgatory tale, this time concerning Father Batt. + +A fellow-priest came to see him, and over a friendly glass:-- + +'And what's the news?' asked Father Batt. + +'None that I know on earth, but I do hear tell that the floor of +purgatory has given way and all the inhabitants have fallen into hell.' + + +'Oh, the poor Protestants, that will be all crushed by the weight atop +of them,' was Father Batt's rejoinder. + +Few priests in Kerry have been better known or more beloved than he, +almost the last of the old-fashioned school, and he was always warm +friends with his Protestant colleague in Milltown, where he resided. + +Father Batt invariably took a few tumblers of hot whisky punch after +dinner, and having got ill was advised by the doctor to give it up and +take to claret. + +When the bishop met him some time later, he said:-- + +'Well, Father Batt, I am afraid you do not like claret so well as the +whisky.' + +'It's this way, my lord,' he replied. 'I don't object to the taste so +much as I thought I should, but I find it very tedious.' + +It is with some diffidence that I venture upon a convent story. To begin +with, I am a Protestant, and secondly, in relation to one of these +ladies' clubs under sacerdotal patronage I feel like Paul Pry, always +apologetic when putting in an appearance. + +Still, the tale is quite innocent and is absolutely true. + +The convent is in Kerry and up to recently the order had been an +enclosed one. But a papal edict arrived one day, bidding the nuns go out +to teach, and to collect, as well as to relieve, the suffering in their +own homes. + +The Mother Superior was exceedingly wroth. + +'What!' quoth she. 'Does the Holy Father want to be interfering with me +after I have been within these walls for the last eight-and-twenty +years? I am not going to begin tramping the roads at my time of life, +not for the Holy Father himself, no, nor all the Cardinals too. A pretty +state of things indeed. Why, he'll be telling me to ride a bicycle +next!' + +The county of Cork was at one time so notorious for cattle-stealing that +a Roman Catholic bishop went down specially to admonish them. + +When telling one parish priest to be firm with his congregation on the +subject, the bishop observed:-- + +'Nothing is more clearly laid down in the Bible than that if a man has +possession of another man's property he can never enter the kingdom of +heaven.' + +'The Saints preserve us,' exclaimed the priest; 'there'll be plenty of +empty houses there.' + +It is not uncommon for a priest to get a bit of truth by accident or by +cunning from one of his flock. + +The parish priest was congratulating a man who had married three wives +upon getting a bit of money with each, and received this answer:-- + +'Well, your reverence, I did not do badly at all, but between the +weddings and the funerals, your reverence took care it was not all clear +profit.' + +There is plenty of hard barter about the terms of these ceremonies, and +on one occasion at Brosna, when the curate stood out for three pounds as +his fee for performing the marriage service, the would-be bridegroom +held out a thirty shilling note, saying:-- + +'Marry yourself to this, your reverence, and we'll be happy with your +blessing.' + +As the persuasive eloquence of another man could not abate the price +which his priest demanded for a funeral, he blurted out:-- + +'Why, the blessed corpse in purgatory would shiver at the thought of +costing so much to put away, and we but poor folk, with the pig that +contrary we don't know whether the litter will survive.' + +Here is a fish story connected with a member of my own family, Miss +Clarissa Hussey, who was my aunt, and also a pious Roman Catholic. She +used to hospitably entertain her confessor Father Tom, a priest with a +keen appreciation of the good things of the table. Among his +parishioners it was known that he indicated the value he put on the +coming fare by the length of his preliminary grace. + +On a certain Friday in Lent he dined with her, and on a huge dish being +put down in front of his hostess, he expected a fine salmon, and +shutting his eyes proceeded to pronounce a benediction the length of +which greatly gratified my aunt. On the cover being removed, however, +his face fell, and in severe tones he rebuked her:-- + +'Was it for bake, ma'am, that I offered up the full grace?' + +Nor could he be appeased all through the meal. + +That leads me to relate the funeral sermon delivered by a clergyman on a +lady who had died suddenly at her morning meal:-- + +'You all, dear brethren, well know the loss we have sustained in our +departed sister. She was ever alert and kindly, ever bountiful though +without extravagance. To the last she preserved her characteristics. On +the fatal morning of her removal from among us, she rose as usual and +came to the family breakfast-table. With no premonition of what was to +come she took her egg-spoon and cracked her egg, an egg laid by one of +her own hens. In another moment failure of the heart transferred her to +a higher sphere. She began that egg on earth, she finished it in +heaven.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +CONSTABULARY AND DISPENSARY DOCTORS + + +An Englishman once asked me, if I could suggest any way by which all +Ireland could be made loyal. I inquired if he thought the Irish +constabulary a loyal body. + +'Most decidedly,' said he, without hesitation. + +'Then,' I replied, 'if you will pay every Irishman seventy pounds a year +for doing nothing, but look after other people's affairs--a thing by +nature congenial to him as it is--you'll have the most loyal race on +earth.' + +That Englishman went away thoughtful, but I had shown him the solution +of one Irish problem which may be stated thus:-- + +Why do one half of the sons of farmers in Ireland, who have been or are +members of the Irish constabulary, represent a body of men unequalled +for their respectability, loyalty, and courage, while a large proportion +of the other, at least in the eighties, made up the bulk of the ignoble +army of moonlighters, cattle maimers, and cowardly assassins crouching +behind stone walls to shoot at an unsuspecting victim in the opening? + +The answer is _L s. d._, not an agreeable one, but truth is not always +composed of sweetstuff. + +The constabulary are recruited from the sons of peasants and farmers. +They are drilled, disciplined, well fed, well clothed, well paid, and +show themselves well conducted. During all the bad times, there was not +a single case of a disaffected man, though every sort of inducement must +have been brought to bear on them. The prevailing characteristic of all +ranks has been the high sense of duty, so that they composed the most +mobile and the most effective corps in Europe. + +As detectives, they have, however, proved quite ineffective, because the +peasant has everywhere been too shrewd for them; 'yet the relative +position of the police to the people, and the intimate connection with +America, marked it out as a force peculiarly adapted to the prevention +and detection of crime committed in Ireland, but often inspired from +America.' So wrote one of the most experienced resident magistrates, Mr. +Clifford Lloyd, afterwards Minister of the Interior in Egypt, and +subsequently Lieutenant Governor of the Mauritius and Consul at +Erzeroum, where he died at the age of forty-seven. + +The constabulary are enlisted without any consideration of creed, but +when Sir Duncan MacGregor was at the head of the force he arranged that +of the five men in every police barrack, two should be Protestant, and +three Roman Catholic, or _vice-versa_. This check has subsequently been +swept away, by no means to the advantage of the service. + +Very recently the Inspector General, and the Assistant Inspector General +retired, and their places were filled by an Englishman and an Irishman, +neither of whom had been in the force, which gave rise to great and +well-founded dissatisfaction. One of the pair is a warm friend of my +own, but that is no reason why I should approve of the appointment. + +While the bulk of the officers are Irish gentlemen, educated in Ireland, +Englishmen are also to be found among them. Officers enter by nomination +after passing an examination designed to show that they are not +'crammed,' but the perversity of the examiners has always thwarted this +excellent intention. That is like the admirable purpose of Cabinet +Ministers, bent on reforming their different departments, but +dexterously 'blocked' by the permanent officials. + +Before the reduction commenced by Mr. Wyndham, the Constabulary numbered +10,679, and cost L1,390,917. In my opinion it will be found necessary in +the future, not only to keep the force up to its full strength, but to +materially increase its number so soon as the Government becomes the +sole landlord in Ireland, especially now that they are going to have +Volunteers in the country. + +The existence of this force merely means that landlords will be shot at +half price; so, for the sake of their own skins, the latter had better +get clear of the country before the recruits have had much musketry +instruction. The badness of the shooting saved many a landlord in the +eighties, and if that is remedied, why they will be popped as easily as +my grandson knocks over rabbits. + +There is a story of an English tourist seeking for information about the +distressful country, he being at Tallaght near Dublin. + +He asked his carman whether there were many Fenians about. + +'A terrible lot, your honour,' replied the fellow. + +'I suppose a thousand?' the tourist suggested, somewhat apprehensively. + +'That is so, and twenty thousand more,' answered the carman without +hesitation. + +'Are they armed?' was the next question. + +'They are that, and finely into the bargain.' + +'And are they prepared to come out?' the tourist being much perturbed, +and thinking it would be his duty to write to the _Times_. + +'Prepared to come out in the morning, your honour.' + +'And why don't they do so?' with English common sense. + +'Begorra, because maybe if they did, the constabulary would put them in +jail.' + +So the constabulary have some value after all, in spite of the sneers of +Home Rule members in the House of Commons. + +Half a dozen Kerry priests screeched with laughter when I told them that +story in the train, having met them on a journey to Farranfore. + +Here is another I also gave them on that occasion. + +A couple of policemen were discussing the state of Ireland once upon a +time. + +Says Dan to Mick:-- + +'Sure we'll niver get peace and quiet in the blessed country until we +fetch Oliver Cromwell up from hell to settle the unruly.' + +Replies Mick to Dan:-- + +'Have done, you fool, isn't he a deal quieter where he is?' + +Judge Keagh thought worse of his fellow countrymen than do other men +with less than his great experience, and although a Roman Catholic, he +had to be escorted by two constables wherever he went. + +He was told that he ought to be guarded by four policemen, because the +two might be attacked. + +But he knew the man that said it wanted to make the protection more +conspicuous, so he replied:-- + +'Sir, I have the most implicit confidence in the invincible cowardice of +my fellow countrymen.' + +That recalls an observation of my own. + +On one occasion, a telegram was sent from the Chief Inspector of +Constabulary in Kerry to the Scotland Yard authorities to say there was +to be an attempt to murder me in London, and in consequence a gentleman +from the department for providing traffic directors in metropolitan +streets called at my house in Elvaston Place, to inquire what police +protection I wanted. + +'None,' said I, 'for if a man shoots me in London he'll be hung, and +every Irish scoundrel is careful of his own neck. It's altogether +another matter in Ireland, where Mr. Gladstone has carefully provided +that he shall be tried by a jury, the majority of which are certain to +be land leaguers.' + +I brought out the same idea on a more important occasion. + +Once, in Mr. Froude's house, Professor Max Mueller--who was a great +admirer of Mr. Gladstone--remarked that after all I had not much reason +to complain, because I had had plenty of police protection in Ireland. + +'I should prefer equal laws,' said I. + +'What inequality of law have you to find fault with?' he asked. + +'Well,' I replied, 'if a land leaguer shoots me in Ireland, he will be +tried by a jury of land leaguers. If I shoot one of them, I would +require that I be tried by a jury of landlords, and if that be granted +I'll clear the road for myself of all suspicious characters, and ask for +no more police protection than you require at Oxford.' + +He subsided at that, and Froude laughed at him so heartily, that he had +not another word to say on the subject all day. + +Did you ever hear the rhyme about moonlighting? It runs as follows:-- + + 'The difference betwixt moonlight and moonshine + The people at last understand, + For moonlight's the law of the League + And moonshine is the law of the land.' + +That would have clinched my argument beyond all dispute, but the +expressive poem was not written at that time. + +Reverting to the topics of this chapter, it is needless to observe that +there is a bond of connection between constabulary and dispensary +doctors, for the latter are needed on many occasions to attend to the +wounds of those just arrested. + +The dispensary doctors do not form a satisfactory feature of Irish life, +simply because the farmers elect individuals out of friendship. + +A dispensary doctor had to be appointed at Farranfore, and I was most +anxious to get the best man for the position. So I proposed that the +candidates' papers should all be submitted to Sir Dominic Corragun, a +Roman Catholic physician of high standing in Dublin. + +I could not even get a seconder to my motion, which therefore fell +stillborn, and I wrote to Lord Kenmare that if Gull or Jenner had been +suggested, neither of them would have obtained three votes. + +Virtually the appointment of the dispensary doctor is vested in the +dispensary Committee, which is a local body, usually consisting of one +or more guardians, and four or five specially elected ratepayers. In the +same way are chosen all the local sanitary authorities, who are of +course under the District Council. + +You remember that _Punch_ called the sanitary inspector the insanitary +spectre, but the beneficent climate of Ireland fortunately averts all +the evils his authority would not be able to arrest if it came to really +checking filth. + +I remember the occasion of the election of another dispensary doctor, +when I was curtly told that only a moonlighter could hope to be +appointed. + +My reply was:-- + +'I suppose it is easier for him to poison people when he is drunk than +to shoot landlords when in an inebriated condition.' + +I do know that a dispensary doctor not thirty miles from Killarney was +thrown out of his trap, because he drove the horse through his own front +door, when he was under the intoxicated impression he was entering his +stable yard. + +He broke his leg, and as there was no one to set it, he told his nephew +to get a pail of plaster of Paris, and he himself would tell him how to +manage the operation. + +First they had a glass of whisky to fortify them for the ordeal, and +then another, and after that a third to drink good luck to the broken +leg. + +Finally, when they set about it, the nephew spilt the whole pail of +plaster of Paris over the bed in which his uncle lay, and then fell in a +drunken stupor into the mess. There they both stayed all night until +they were hacked out with a chisel in the morning. + +It is strange that the Irish, who are brimful of shrewd sense, use no +more discretion about appointing schoolmasters than dispensary doctors. + +The petty pedagogues, who are the Baboos of Ireland, are drawn from the +small-farmer class. There is great competition among the incompetent to +get lucrative posts in my native land: they probably appreciate the +Hibernian eccentricity of giving important positions to the men whose +claims in any other country would never obtain a moment's consideration. + +There was a schoolmaster near Castleisland, who died of sparing the rod +but not sparing the potation. His family were anxious his nephew should +be appointed. + +As he was an utter ne'er-do-weel, the parish priest justly considered +him unfit for the situation, and brought from a neighbouring county a +schoolmaster highly recommended by the National Convention. + +They had a quiet way of expressing their feelings in Kerry in those +days, and the moonlighters fired by night through the windows of every +one who sent their children to the nominee of the parish priest. + +The District Inspector thought he had better look into the matter +himself, for it was stated they had always fired high with the sole +purpose of intimidating the occupants of the various cabins. + +However, when this inspecting authority found a bullet-hole in a +window-sill only three feet from the ground, he observed:-- + +'Well, that shot was meant to kill.' + +One farmer standing by remarked:-- + +'It was not right to fire into a house where there were a lot of little +children.' + +'Begorra,' cried another, in a tone of virtuous indignation, 'the +careless fellows might have killed the poor pig!' + +That was sworn before me. + +Here is another incident, also sworn to in my presence. + +I must explain that the first poor rate was in 1848, and half was made +up by local subscription, while the rent was added by the presentment of +the county, and not paid out of the rates. It was in those days a common +practice for dispensary doctors to put down on the list imaginary +subscriptions from friends, so as to draw more from the county. + +A young fellow, whose name had thus been used, fired into a Protestant +doctor's house, and threatened to murder everybody unless he was given +some money. + +He obtained half a crown, with which he bought a pint of whisky and a +mutton pie; but just as he was putting his teeth into the crust of the +latter, he paused in horror. + +'I was near being lost for ever, body and soul,' says he, 'this being +Friday, and me so close on tasting meat.' + +The woman in the place where he bought the provisions proposed to keep +the mutton pie for him until the following day. + +He thanked her civilly, and went away, but had the misfortune to mistake +the police barracks for the rival whisky store, and was promptly +arrested for threatening with intent to do injury. + +The next day he asked to be allowed to eat his pie, which is how the +story came out. + +The dispensaries are often worked with more attention to the pocket of +those on the premises than is compatible with the principles of honesty, +as recognised outside the legal and medical professions. At one +dispensary in Kerry the Local Government Board was horrified at the +consumption of quinine--an expensive medicine. Indeed, so much +disappeared that, if it had not been for the chronic aversion of any +low-born Irishman to outside applications of liquid, it might have been +surmised that the patients were taking quinine baths. The matter was +privately put into the hands of the police, who within a week arrested +the secretary getting out of a back window with a big bottle of quinine, +which he meant to sell. + +That man, for the rest of his life, inveighed against the petty and +mischievous interference with private industry tyrannically waged by +public bodies. + +I should like to claim for Kerry the honour of being the land where the +following hoary chestnut originally was perpetrated, the exact locality +being Castleisland. + +A landlord, who had returned in a fit of absent-mindedness to his +property after a sojourn in England, was condoling with a woman on the +death of her husband, and asked:-- + +'What did he die of?' + +'Wishna, then, did he not die a natural death, your honour, for there +was no doctor attending him?' + +A not dissimilar story is that which concerns a Scotch laird who had +fallen very sick, so a specialist came from Edinburgh to assist the +local murderer in diagnosing the symptoms. + +The canny patient felt sure he would not be told what was the matter, so +he bade his servant conceal himself behind the curtains in the room +where the doctors talked it over, and to repeat to him what they said. + +This is what the faithful retainer brought as tidings of comfort to the +alarmed invalid:-- + +'Weel, sir, the two were very gloomy, one saying one thing and the other +another; but after a while they cheered up and grew quite pleasant when +they had decided that they would know all about it at the post-mortem.' + +That recalls to my mind Sidney Smith's definition of a doctor as an +individual who put drugs of which he knew very little into a body of +which he knew considerably less. + +There is a rare lot of truth in some witticisms. + +For some illogical reason only known to my own brain--perhaps with the +desire of keeping up the fashion for inconsecutive and rambling +observations common to all books of reminiscences--the foregoing stories +suggest to my mind the excuse made to me by a wary scoundrel for not +paying his rent. + +'I had an illegant little heifer as ever your honour cast an eye over, +and who is a better judge than yourself, God bless you? But the Lord was +pleased to take her to Himself, and it would be flat heresy for me not +to say He is not as good a judge as your honour's self.' + +There was an action brought against a veterinary surgeon for killing a +man's horse. + +Lord Morris knew something of medicine, as he did of most things, and +asked if the dose given would not have killed the devil himself. + +The vet. drew himself up pompously, and said:-- + +'I never had the honour of attending that gentleman.' + +'That's a pity, doctor,' replied Morris, 'for he's alive still.' + +The Government introduced into the House of Lords an additional bill for +the complication and confiscation of landed property in Ireland. + +Lord Morris said it reminded him of the bill a veterinary surgeon sent +in to a friend of his, the last item of which ran:-- + +'To curing your grey mare till she died, 10s. 6d.' + +Never was the Irish question more happily expressed than in his famous +reply to a lady who asked him if he could account for disaffection in +Ireland towards the English. + +'What else can you expect, ma'am, when a quick-witted race is governed +by an intensely stupid one?' + +Lord Morris told many stories, but for a change, here is one told of +him. + +A Belfast tourist was riding past Spiddal, and asked a countryman who +lived there. + +'One Judge Morris, your honour; but he lives the best part of his time +in Dublin.' + +'Oh yes,' says the other, 'that's Lord Chief Justice Morris.' + +'The very dead spit of him, your honour; and I was told he draws a +thousand a year salary.' + +'He has five thousand five hundred a year.' + +'Ah, your honour, it's very hard to make me believe that.' + +'Why don't you believe it?' + +'Because when he's down here he passes my gate five days in the week, +and I never saw the sign of liquor on him.' + +Evidently the bigger salary the bigger profit to the whisky distiller +was the rustic's theory. + +I have forgotten how the story came to my ears, but I told it to Lord +Morris, who much appreciated it. + +Another Kerry story, not unlike one narrated earlier in this chapter, +runs thiswise:-- + +Two men came to order a coffin for a mutual friend called Tim +O'Shaughnessy. + +Said the undertaker:-- + +'I am sorry to hear poor Tim is gone. He had a famous way with him of +drinking whisky. What did he die of?' + +Replied one of the men:-- + +'He is not dead yet at all; but the doctor says he will be before the +morning; and sure he should know, for he knows what he gave him.' + +Sometimes, however, the patient is quite as clever as the doctor. + +A physician in Dublin had a telephone put in his bedroom, and when he +was rung up about half-past one on a freezing wintry night, he told his +wife to answer it. + +She complied, and informed him:-- + +'It is Mr. Shamus O'Brien, and he wants you to come round at once.' + +The physician knew this to be purely an imaginary case of illness, so +not wishing to be disturbed, said to her:-- + +'Tell him the doctor is out, and will not be home till morning.' + +Unfortunately he spoke so near the telephone that his remark was audible +to the patient. So when the wife had duly delivered the message, the +answer came back:-- + +'If the man in your bed is a doctor, send him here.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +IRISH CHARACTERISTICS + + +It's the proudest boast of my life that I am an Irishman, and the +compliment which I have most appreciated in my time was being called +'the poor man's friend,' for I love Paddy dearly though I see his +faults. Yes, perhaps one of the reasons why I love him is because I do +see the faults, for the errors of an Irishman are often almost as good +as the virtues of an Englishman, and are far more diverting into the +bargain. You must not judge Paddy by the same standard as you apply to +John. To begin with, he has not had the advantages, and secondly, +there's an ingrained whimsicality, for which I would not exchange all +the solid imperfections of his neighbour across the Irish Channel. + +You would not judge all Scotland by Glasgow, and so you should not fall +into the error of judging all Ireland by Belfast. Kerry is the jewel of +Ireland, and it is with Kerry that I have fortunately had most to do in +my life. + +Whilst I am alluding to the mistake of generalising, let me point out +how erroneous it is ever, historically, to talk of Ireland as one +country. When Henry II. annexed the whole land by a confiscation more +open but not more criminal than that instigated by Mr. Gladstone, there +were four perfectly separate kingdoms in the island. Now there are four +provinces which are quite distinct, and an Ulster man, or a Munster man, +or a Connaught man, knows far more, as a rule, of England, or even +Scotland, than he does of the other three provinces of his native isle. +For one Ulster man who has been in Munster, three hundred have been to +Liverpool or Greenock, and until lately there was no railway between +Connaught and Munster, so that you had to go nearly up to Dublin to get +from one to the other. + +There is much that is incomprehensible to the Englishman who comes among +us taking notes, and not the least is that no one wants his +cut-and-dried schemes of reforming what we do not wish to reform. As for +conforming to his method and rule by vestry and county council autocracy +in a methodical manner, it is utterly at variance with the national +temperament. Very often, too, the stranger falls a victim to the +Irishman's love of fun, and goes back hopelessly 'spoofed' and quite +unaware what nonsense he is talking when he lays down the law on Ireland +far from that perplexing land. + +'Don't you want three acres and a cow?' asked an enthusiastic tourist +from Birmingham, soon after Mr. Jesse Collins had provided the +music-halls with the catch-phrase. + +'As for the cow I would not be after saying it would not be a comfort, +but what would the pig want with so much land?' was the peasant's reply. + +And that suggests an opportunity to give as my opinion that the most +practical measure England could take to benefit Ireland would be to +drain the large bogs and so improve fuel. In some places the bogs are +likely to be exhausted, but in others there is plenty of turf (turf, O +Saxon, is not the grass on which you play cricket or croquet, but is the +Hibernian for peat). Indeed, there is ample for all the needs of Ireland +for a hundred years to come, but it should not be used in the shamefully +wasteful way so often noticeable. It is no excuse that the heat it +contains is not so great as in coal. + +If coal were to run out in England, to what a premium would turf rise in +Ireland! + +Formerly turf could be picked up free, and even now it is very cheap, +the chief expense to the consumer being the cost of transport from the +bog to the turf rick behind the cabin. + +The mineral rights of Ireland are most deceptive. There are plenty of +indications of minerals, but they are of too poor a nature to warrant +working. + +Personally, I tried working coal-pits near Castleisland for three +months, and silver lead was worked for six months near Tralee by a +company which was more successful in working its own way with the +bankruptcy court. I firmly believe the reputed mineral wealth of Ireland +to be greatly exaggerated, and should never advise any one to invest +money in a syndicate for its discovery. Smelting was largely perpetrated +in olden times in Ireland, which entailed cutting down the oak forests, +that then crossed the country, to obtain fuel, the ore being brought +from England. But the introduction of the coke process in the north of +England settled that industry, which was one of the earliest Irish ones +doomed to extinction. + +An Irish industry which as yet shows no sign of losing its commercial +importance is the blessed institution of matrimony, a holy thing which +in Ireland is particularly beneficial to the pockets of the priest, who +pronounces the blessing, and to the distiller, who sells the whisky, in +which the future of the happy pair is pledged. + +The matrimonial arrangements of Irish farmers in Kerry may sound queer +to an English reader, but are the outcome of an innate, though +unwritten, law that the whole family have a vested interest in the +affair. + +For example, when the family is growing up, the farm is handed over to +the eldest son, who gives the parents a small allowance during their +lives, while the fortune that he gets with his wife goes, not to +himself, but to provide for his younger brothers and sisters. + +Hence, if the eldest son were to marry the Venus de Medici with ten +pounds less dowry than he could get with the ugliest wall-eyed female in +the neighbourhood, he would be considered as an enemy to all his family. + +A tenant of a neighbour of mine actually got married to a woman without +a penny, a thing unparalleled in my experience in Kerry, and his sister +presently came to my wife for some assistance. + +My wife asked her:-- + +'Why does not your brother support you?' + +And she was answered:-- + +'How could he support any one after bringing an empty woman to the +house?' + +There was a tenant of mine, paying about twenty-five pounds a year rent, +who died, and his son came to me to have his name inscribed in the rent +account. + +I asked him what will his father had made. + +He replied that he had left him the farm and its stock. + +'What's to become of your brother and sister?' says I. + +'They are to get whatever I draw,' says he. + +'That means whatever you get with your wife?' + +'That is so.' + +'Well, suppose you marry a girl worth only twenty pounds, what would +happen then?' + +'That would not do at all,' very gravely. + +'Is there no limit put on the worth of your wife?' + +'Oh,' says he, 'I was valued at one hundred and sixty pounds.' + +I found out afterwards he had one hundred and seventy with his wife. + +A tenant on the Callinafercy estate got married, and the mother-in-law +and the daughter-in-law did not agree. So the elder came to complain to +the landlord of the girl's conduct, and after copiously describing +various delinquencies with the assistance of many invocations of the +saints, she wound up with:-- + +'And the worst of all, Mr. Marshall, is that she gives herself all the +airs of a three hundred pound girl and she had but a hundred and fifty.' + +Filial obedience in the matter of marriage is as uniform in these +classes in Kerry as it is conspicuous by its absence in old English +novels and comedies. The sons never kick at the unions, the daughters +are never hauled weeping to the altar, while an elopement or a refusal +to fulfil a matrimonial engagement would arouse the indignation of the +whole country side. + +Decidedly these marriages turn out better than the made-up marriages in +France. I will go further, and seriously affirm my belief that the +marriages in Kerry show a greater average of happiness than any which +can be mentioned. To be sure there is the same dash after heiresses in +Kerry that you see in Mayfair, and the young farmer who is really +well-to-do is as much pursued as the heir to an earldom by matchmaking +mothers in Belgravia. But the subsequent results are much more +harmonious in Kerry, and though the landlord's advice is often asked to +settle financial difficulties in carrying out the matrimonial bargains, +less frequently is he called upon to settle differences between man and +wife. + +'Sure, he's well enough meaning, your honour, with what brains the +Blessed Virgin could spare for him,' is the sort of remark a wife will +make on behalf of her lazy husband. + +Fidelity is the rule; so is reasonable give and take, though each, being +human, likes to receive better than to give. And one thing which +impresses a stranger is the rarity of illegitimate children out of the +towns. This is, of course, partly due to the influence of the priests, +but partly also to the innate purity of the Irish character, as well as +by the standard of respectability:-- + +'Ah, he's a strong man,' you will hear said of So-and-So. + +'How do you prove that?' says I. + +'Why, has he not his farm, and his family with one son a priest, and one +daughter in a convent, and he with a bull for his own cows?' + +Could you want more to get him on the County Council if he has no +conscience and a convivial taste in the matter of whisky? + +There can be no doubt that the Irish take better care of their children +than the parents of similar position in either England or Scotland. +Cases of cruelty, which so constantly disfigure the police courts in +both the latter countries, are very rarely heard in the sister isle. + +It is true that in many cases they cannot do much for their offspring, +but what little they are able to do is done with a good will and +ungrudgingly. + +I remember a Saharan explorer telling me that in the desert he came +across some tribe, stark naked, utterly poor, but all on apparently +affectionate terms. He was much impressed with the love shown by the +children of all ages for their parents, and inquired what the latter did +to inspire such enviable emotion. + +'We give them a handful of dates, when there are any.' + +It was apparently their sole form of sustenance. + +The Irishman is very good to his wife, although the courting is a matter +of business, as I have shown. Wife-beating and even more ignoble forms +of marital cruelty are almost unknown. + +This is surely a big national asset. + +Furthermore, the Irish are a very moral people; and this in spite of the +close proximity and confinement necessitated by the crowded condition of +many cabins. + +I was going to add that the light food may have something to say to +this, but as the Irish are not remarkable for their small families, this +would be an unwarrantable aspersion. + +Of course in the big towns there are women of no importance, and Dublin +has always borne rather a lively reputation in this respect, though that +in no way affects the general high standard of morality. + +The climate of the country, despite the moisture, is one conducive to +good health, owing to the absence of any extreme vicissitudes. + +It may be asked why, considering the overcrowding and insanitary +conditions of living in the miserable cabins, there is not more disease, +and my reply is that the peat which is burnt is so healthy as to act as +a disinfectant. + +Indigestion, like lunacy, is, however, largely on the increase. + +Nearly any old woman--or old man for the matter of that--as well as a +sad majority of younger people, will tell you:-- + +'I have a pain in the stomach,' with the accent on the second syllable +of the locality. + +This is due to excessive consumption of tea. + +Nearly twenty times as much tea must be drunk now in Kerry as in the +early sixties, and so far as I can recollect tea was unknown, not only +in the cabins but among the farmers until after the famine. + +Fairly good tea is obtained, for the Irish will never buy tea unless +they are asked a high price, and for that price they usually, owing to +competition, obtain an article not too perniciously adulterated. + +What is highly injurious is the method of making the tea. + +A lot is thrown into the pot on the fire in the cabin in the morning, +and there it stands simmering all day long, that those who want it may +help themselves. + +This is in sharp contrast to the method employed by Dr. Barter, the +famous hydropathic physician at Cork, one of the cleverest men I ever +met and one of the very few who never permitted medicine under any +circumstances, relying on water, packing, and Turkish baths, with strict +attention to diet. + +He used to make tea by putting half a teaspoonful into a wire strainer +which he held over his cup, and pouring boiling water upon the leaves, +the contents of his cup became a pale yellow, to which he added a little +milk and instantly drank it off, the whole process lasting but a few +seconds. I remember he equally disapproved of the Russian method of +drinking tea in a glass with lemon, of the fashionable way of letting +the water 'stand off the boil' upon the leaves in a teapot, and of the +Hibernian stewing arrangement alluded to above. + +Personally I regard all hydros as so many emporiums of disease, an +opinion in which I am singular, but that does not convince me I am +wrong. + +A bailiff once went to St. Ann's Hydro to serve a writ, and he told me +afterwards that he served it on his victim in a Turkish bath, +remarking:-- + +'And your heart would have melted within your honour in pity for the +poor creature not having a pocket to put the document in.' + +Which observation recalls to my mind the story of a gentleman in a +Turkish bath asking a friend to dinner, and saying:-- + +'Don't mind dressing; come just as you are.' + +Another misunderstood answer was that of the absent-minded man who +entered a hansom and began to read a paper. + +'Where to?' at last cabby asked laconically. + +'Drive to the usual place.' + +'I'm afraid I have too much on the slate there, sir, unless you pay my +footing.' + +'Oh, go to hell,' retorted the other in a rage. + +'It's outside the radius, sir, and it will be a steep pull for my old +horse after we've dropped you.' + +The light-heartedness of the Celt is another feature which strikes the +least observant stranger. + +An Irishman has been described as a man who confided his soul to the +priest, and his body to the British Government, whilst he holds himself +devoid of any vestige of responsibility for the care of either. + +Here is another tale, illustrative of his contentment. + +A philosopher, in search of happiness, was told by a wise man that if he +got the shirt of a perfectly happy man and put it on, he would himself +become happy. + +The philosopher wandered over the world, but could find no man whose +happiness had not some flaw, until he fell in with an Irishman; with +whom he promptly began to bargain for his shirt, only to find he had not +one to his back. + +From philosophy to the deuce is not a big stride, according to the view +of those folk who jibe at political economy and all the abstract of +virtues and governments. So, on the tail of their fancy, I am reminded +of another story about the devil--a very large number of Irish stories +are connected with him, because in a very special sense he is the +unauthorised patron saint of the sinners of the country, and he has had +far too much to say to its government into the bargain. + +An Englishman, in the witless way in which Saxons do address Irishmen, +asked a labourer by the wayside:-- + +'If the devil came by, do you think he would take me or you?' + +The labourer never hesitated, but replied:-- + +'He'd take me, your honour.' + +'Why do you say that?' + +'Oh, he would,' says he, 'because he's sure of your honour at any time.' + +The Irishman is not so black as he may seem to the Saxon, who reads with +disgust the horrors that mar the beauty of the Emerald Isle, and I +should say that his finest trait is patience under adversity. No nation, +for example, could have more calmly endured the terrible sufferings of +the famine, more especially as the high-strung nerves of the Celt render +him physically and mentally the very reverse of a stoic. + +Again, in no other nation are the family ties closer. + +The first thought of those who emigrate to America is to remit money to +the old folk in the cabin at home. So soon as the emigrants have +obtained a reasonable degree of comfort they will send home the passage +money to pay for bringing out younger brothers or sisters to them. + +Did you ever hear the story of the homesick Kerry undergraduate at +Oxford, at his first construe with his tutor, translating _contiguare +omnes_ as 'all of them County Kerry men'? + +It was a true home touch, though not exactly a classical reading of the +passage. + +In the same way, in my boyish days at Dingle, we all of us firmly +believed that King John had asked in what part of Kerry Ireland was. +That question was our local Magna Charta, though what the origin of the +tradition was I have no idea. + +But then things do differ according to the point of view, and ours of +history was not stranger than many others of far more importance. + +As an example of lack of comprehension I would cite the following +incident. + +An English gentleman was shooting grouse in Ireland. He got very few +birds, and said to the keeper:-- + +'Why, these actually cost me a pound apiece.' + +'Begorra, your honour, it's lucky there are not more of them,' was the +unexpected answer. + +This allusion to sport reminds me of the Frenchman's description of +hunting in Ireland, which was to the effect that about thirty horsemen +and sixty dogs chased a wretched little animal ten miles, which resulted +in seven casualties, and when they caught the poor beast not one of them +would eat him. + +The French do not always appreciate our institutions. One of them +landing at Queenstown in the middle of the day asked if there was +anything he could amuse himself with between then and dinner-time. + +'Certainly,' said the waiter; 'which would you like, wine or spirits?' + +By way of amusing the reader, before going any further, I will give him +a chance of reading a genuine, but unique testament in which I figured, +and which is not a bit more queer than many which have been as formally +proved. + + +'I Robert Shanahan in my last will and testament do make my wife +Margaret Shanahan Manager or guardian over my farm and means provided +she remains unmarried if she do not I bequeath to her 2 shillings and +sixpence I leave the farm to my son Thomas Shanahan provided he conducts +himself if not I leave the farm to my son Robert Shanahan I also wish +that there should be a provision made for the rest of the family out of +the farm according as the following Executors which I appoint may think +fit Mr. Hussey Esq. Revd. Brusnan P.P. and James Casey of Gorneybee. +Given under my heand this 7th day of February 1872. + + his + + ROBERT X SHANAHAN. + + mark + +Witnessed by + JOHN O'BRIEN. + JEREMIAH CONNOR.' + + +I have a few tales to tell of Kerry landlords, a race who would have +furnished Lever with a worthy theme, men as humorous as they are brave, +as diverting as they can stand, loyal to the Crown despite much +disparagement, and proud to be Irishmen, though so unappreciated by the +paid agitators and their weak tools. + +However, as I wish to be on good terms with all my neighbours in this +world, and with the ghosts of the departed ones when I meet them in the +next, I am not going to give many names or rub up susceptibilities. + +Of Kerry landlords, Lord Kenmare naturally suggests himself to be first +mentioned. He has been somewhat unjustly attacked more than once about +the condition of Killarney as though the town was his private property. +As a matter of fact, he is utterly powerless there, as it was all leased +away for five hundred years by his grandfather. About the town the +following may be worth telling:-- + +A very neat plan was drawn up for improving it, which included a gateway +between every double block of houses to lead down to the stables and +garden, but as it was not thought necessary to put a subletting clause +into the lease, the actual consequence was that all these passages were +converted into filthy lanes. Outside the town Lord Kenmare has built +some nice cottages, but within its confines he could effect nothing. + +To show you how short-lived is Irish gratitude, ponder over this:-- + +When Mr. Daniel O'Connell, son of the great Dan, stood for West Kerry as +a Unionist, he was warned by the police officer that he could not be +answerable for his life if he came into Cahirciveen, for he had only +twenty constables to protect him; and his wife--a most charming +woman--when driving through the town was surrounded by an insulting mob, +members of which actually spat in her face. + +That reminds me of a similar experience which befell the wife of Mr. +Cavanagh, the man without arms and legs, who, until denounced by the +Land League, was exceptionally popular. + +Mrs. Cavanagh was walking along the road in Carlow carrying broth and +wine to a poor sick woman, when she found herself the target for a +number of stones and had to run for her life amid a shower of missiles. + + +Despite his exceptional infirmities Mr. Cavanagh could do almost +anything. He used to ride most pluckily to hounds, strapped on to his +saddle. On one occasion the saddle turned under him, and the horse +trotted back to the stable-yard, with his master hanging under him, his +hair sweeping the ground, bleeding profusely; he merely cursed the groom +with emphatic volubility, had himself more safely readjusted, and then +rode out once more. + +He always wore pink when hunting. One day a pretty child of ten years +old was out with her groom, who followed the scent so ardently, that he +forgot all about his charge, who was left behind, and finding herself +lost in a wood, began to cry. + +Suddenly there swooped out on a very big horse, the armless and legless +figure of Cavanagh in his flaming coat, and seeing her predicament, he +seized her rein somehow--she never seems quite clear how--saying:-- + +'Don't be frightened, little girl, for I know who you are, and will take +care of you.' + +He was as good as his word, but the high-strung, sensitive child, so +soon as she was in her mother's embrace, went from one fit of hysterics +to another, crying:-- + +'Oh, mummy, I've seen the devil, I've seen the devil.' + +In after years they became great friends, and he often dined with her +after she married and settled in London. + +Reverting to Lord Kenmare, the following story, which in another version +recently won a railway story competition in some newspaper, really +pertains to his son Lord Castlerosse. + +On a line in Kerry there is a sharp curve overhanging the sea. An old +woman in a great state of nervous agitation was bundled at the last +moment into a first-class compartment. + +Lord Castlerosse, the only passenger in the compartment, by way of +relieving her obvious agitation, tried to calm her by telling her she +could change at the next station. + +'Is it me that can be aisy,' she replied, 'when it's my Pat is driving +the engine, and him having a dhrop taken, and saying he'll take us a +shpin round the Head?' + +After all, to my mind, for sheer humour of a quiet sort, nothing beats +the observation of the late Sir John Godfrey, who never got up before +one in the day, and invariably breakfasted when his family were having +lunch. Being asked one day to account for this rather inconvenient +habit, he replied:-- + +'The fact is, I sleep very slow.' + +I commend this to every sluggard who wants an excuse to resume his +slumbers when awakened too soon. + +There was a gentleman who had rather a red nose, and some one remarked +that it was an expensive piece of painting, to which some one else +significantly added, that it was not a water-colour. + +'No,' said Sir John, 'it was done in distemper.' + +One night a landlord in Kerry, who shall be nameless, though he has +passed over to the great majority, went to bed without having much +knowledge how he got there. + +Two of his sons crept to the neighbouring town, unscrewed the sign +outside the inn, and put it at the end of their parent's bed. + +When he awoke, he looked at the sign for some time in a bewildered way. +Then he observed aloud:-- + +'I thought I went to sleep in my own bed, but I'm d----d if I have not +woke in the middle of the street.' + +A certain roystering gentleman named Jack Ray got drunk and fell asleep +in the woods of Kilcoleman. Some of the Godfrey boys, seeing him +prostrate and with foam on his lips, ran to summon their father, saying +to him:-- + +'There's a man dead in the wood.' + +Sir William hastened to the spot, and having put on his glasses to get a +view of the corpse, observed:-- + +'Come away, my boys, this man dies once a week.' + +Another Kerry landlord, who was also a baronet, dealt with the National +Bank, the local manager of which was an arrant snob, who loved a title, +and bored everybody with his pretended intimacy with the impecunious +baronet. But at last even his patience was exhausted, and he sent the +squire a pretty stiff letter about the arrears due. + +The other received the letter at breakfast, and showed it to his son +just come down from a University, who whistled and ejaculated:-- + +'O tempora! O mores!' + +His father instantly retorted:-- + +'You get me the temporary, and I'll promptly see we have more ease.' + +In the bad times, an old woman came into the office at Tralee to pay her +rent. Mr. Francis Denny was in a real bad humour with somebody else who +had defaulted, and he was raging along in a manner qualified to display +his intimate acquaintance with the florid embellishments of the +language. The old woman listened with evident admiration for some time. +At last she ejaculated:-- + +'Ah, the nate little man.' + +And with that slipped out, without settling her account. + +Mr. Francis Denny has the misfortune to be rather lame, and one day +another old woman, who liked him, observed:-- + +'If he had two sound legs under him, there'd be no holding him in +Tralee, but he'd be up at the Castle setting the Lord Lieutenant right +in his many errors, not to mention going over to London to give the +Queen herself a bit of his mind.' + +In the bad times, one lady was left in her Kerry residence with her baby +boy and a pack of maidservants, her husband having been called over to +England. + +She had sixty pounds of gold in her bedroom, and one night a housemaid +rushed in to say a party of moonlighters were in the house. + +The lady threw a sovereign and some silver on to the dressing-table, and +hid the rest under her mattress. + +In came the masked scoundrels asking for gold, and when she pointed to +the money that was visible, one replied that it was not enough. + +'Very well,' she said, 'give me your name and I'll write you a cheque.' + +On that they left precipitately, to her intense relief. + +All moonlighters calculated upon the terrorism their appearance would +cause, and if this was apparently conspicuous by its absence they were +nonplussed, because they never felt over secure in their own hearts at +the best of times, and grew frightened directly others were not +frightened by them. + +In all moonlighting affrays no one scoundrel ever became personally +conspicuous as a leader, and all the wisest leaders, such as Stephens, +Tynan, and Parnell, shrouded their movements in mystery. Fenianism in +Ireland since Emmett has never had one capable leader possessing the +physical courage to show himself in the forefront on all occasions. + +On the other hand, it is a singular fact that nearly every general of +note in the army of the United Kingdom, since the time of Marlborough, +has come from Ireland. The Duke of Wellington was born in County Meath, +Lord Gough in Tipperary, Lord Wolseley in County Carlow, Lord Roberts in +Waterford, Sir George White in Antrim, General French in Roscommon, and +Lord Kitchener in Kerry. + +The attempts of the English Government to manufacture an English general +in the South African war were a miserable fiasco. They only produced +one, Sir Charles Tucker, and he did his best to atone for the accident +of his English birth by marrying a Kerry lady. + +I had the pleasure of meeting Sir Redvers Buller in Killarney, and after +he had been there a couple of days he proceeded to describe Kerry to me, +who had been managing one fifth of it for several years. His +agricultural reforms would have been as drastic as they were ludicrous +had any one attempted to carry them out, but when expatiating on them to +me, he was not even aware that there was any difference between an +English and an Irish acre. When I heard that he was taking charge of the +whole army in South Africa, I mentioned that as he had been unable to +command three hundred constabulary in Kerry, I was sceptical of his +ability to manage the British army. He was without exception the most +self-sufficient soldier I ever met, and his subsequent career has not +made me change my view. + +Here is a soldier story which is mighty illustrative of Irish traits. + +A peasant's son in Limerick enlisted in the militia for a month's +training, for which he received a bounty of three pounds. With part of +this money he bought a pig and gave it to his father to feed up. When +the pig was fattened, the father sold it and declined to give him the +price. So the son was seen by the police to take his father by the +throat, saying:-- + +'Bad luck to you, old reprobate, do you want to deprive me of my pig +that I risked my life for in the British Army?' + +Everywhere I like to slip into this book instances of the injuries +suffered by Irish landlords, so here is another case _a propos des +bottes_, if you will forgive it. + +The Knight of Kerry let nine acres of land to a tenant for a rent of +forty-five pounds. Having expended a large sum of money in roadmaking +and fences, at the tenant's request, he also borrowed thirty-five pounds +to build a small house for which he has to pay thirty-five shillings per +annum. The commissioners cut down the rent so heavily, that it has +resulted in the landlord having to pay five shillings a year for the +pleasure of looking at the man in occupation of his land. + +Reverting to my reminiscences--or rather to what are for myself less +interesting portions, for I am a land agent by profession and an +anecdotist only by habit--I remember that an Englishman subsequently a +Pasha commanded the coastguard at Dingle in 1856, and then had an +encounter with a local Justice of the Peace in which he came off second +best. + +Captain ---- occupied the Grove demesne. The J.P., who had been a Scotch +militia officer, had been in the habit of shooting crows over the +demesne, and continued to enjoy the sport, to which the Captain strongly +objected. After an angry correspondence the J.P. sent a challenge, which +the other did not seem to stomach, for he sent an apology by a +subordinate with full permission to continue the immolation of the +birds. If a cruiser had to capitulate to this bold blockade runner, the +Captain himself had to endure a similar humiliation at the hands of an +indignant Kerry man, though he was very popular in Dingle. + +There is nothing pusillanimous about the Irishman, except when in cold +blood he was expected to attack an agent, or landlord, or policeman, +armed to the teeth. In such cases, he remembered that his parents, by +the blessing of the Holy Virgin, had endowed him with two legs, and only +one skin, which latter must therefore be saved by the discretionary +employment of the former. + +In other cases he is very brave, especially in verbal encounters. +Fighting is in his blood. That is what makes the Irish soldier the best +in the world, and that was why he used to revel in the faction fights. +As a paternal Government now prevents the breaking of heads, at all +events on a wholesale scale, the pugnacious instincts of the nation have +to be gratified by litigation, and certainly there never was such a +litigious race in history as the contemporary Ireland. + +I know of a case on the Callinafercy estate, where a widow spent fifty +pounds 'in getting the law of' a neighbour whose donkey had browsed on +her side of a hedge. She took the case to the assizes, and when the +judge heard Mr. Leeson Marshall was her landlord, he said:-- + +'Let him decide it. He's a barrister himself, and can judge far better +than I could on such a subject.' + +To this there are literally hundreds of parallels every year. Readers of +_La Terre_ will remember how much of the funds went into the hands of +the lawyer who thrived on the animosities of the family, and that sort +of thing is constantly reduplicated in Kerry. + +'I'd sell my last cow to appeal on a point of law,' I once heard a +Killorgin farmer say; and that is typical of all the lower classes in +the South and West. + +As for the solicitors, I am not going to say a word about them, good or +bad: there are men no doubt worthy of either epithet in a profession +that preys on the troubles of other folk. But I will tell one very brief +story on the topic. + +Outside the Four Courts, a poor woman stopped Daniel O'Connell, +saying:-- + +'If you please, your honour, will you direct me to an honest attorney?' + +The Liberator pushed back his wig and scratched his head. + +'Well now, you beat me entirely, ma'am,' was his answer. + +He had more experience than me, being one. + +Talking of the Four Courts reminds me of Chief Baron Guillamore, who had +as much wit as will provoke 'laughter in court,' and a trifle over that +infinitesimal quantity as well. + +A new Act of Parliament had been passed to prevent people from stealing +timber. A stupid juryman asked if he could prosecute a man under that +act for stealing turnips. + +'Certainly not, unless they are very sticky,' retorted the judge. + +His brother was a magistrate, and committed a barrister in petty +sessions for contempt of court. An action was brought against him, but +the Chief Baron raised so many legal exceptions, that it had finally to +be abandoned through the fraternal law-moulding. This action was pending +in the civil court, when a lawyer was very impertinent to the Chief +Baron in the criminal. Instead of committing him, the Chief Baron said +very quietly:-- + +'If you do not keep quiet, I shall send to the next Court for my +brother.' + +Another judge had applied for shares in a company of which a friend of +his was secretary. Meeting him in Sackville Street, he stopped him to +inquire what would be the paid-up capital of the concern. + +The other forgot whom he was addressing, and blurted out the truth by +replying:-- + +'Well, I really cannot tell you just yet, but the cheques are coming in +fast.' + +The judge withdrew his application by the next post, and confidently +expected to see his friend in the dock. I believe in less than six +months he was not disappointed. + +The poorer class in Ireland do not appear to be business-like in the +ordinary sense, however much they may develop commercial instincts after +emigrating. It is to promote the latent capacity obviously within their +power that creameries and other assisted promotions have been started in +various parts of the country, sometimes with great success. Sir Horace +Plunkett and others have dealt with all this in the most serious spirit. +I prefer to allude to it, and add one anecdote. + +A lady asked a respectable old woman how her son was getting on as +manager of the creamery, and the reply came after the following +fashion:-- + +'Whisna the poor man and all the trouble he has, and him never able to +make the butter and the books scoromund,' which, being translated, is +'correspond.' + +Another example I can cite of the difficulty in getting people to put +their intelligence to practical use in the south is to this effect:-- + +There was a certain widdy woman in a neighbouring parish who was making +great lamentation over her 'pitaties' to the priest, and in consequence +he lent her a machine for the purpose of spraying them. She professed +the profoundest gratitude as well as interest in the implement, but the +task speedily became too big an effort, for she subsequently informed me +that she had sprayed 'half the field to plase his Rivirence, but left +the rest to God.' + +And that is the kind of negative piety which is distinctly a +characteristic Irish trait. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +LORD-LIEUTENANTS AND CHIEF SECRETARIES + + +Any Irishman who has reached the shady side of threescore years and ten +must remember many Lord-Lieutenants--the pompously visible symbols of +much vacillating misdirection. + +To analyse them would be the work of an historian, to criticise would be +superfluous. They have been so many Malvolios, all alike anxious to win +the favour of that capricious Lady Olivia Erin, and not one of them has +succeeded, though several have merited better fortune than they met with +on Irish soil. + +The first Lord-Lieutenant I personally met was Lord Carlisle. + +He was a gentleman, but not otherwise remarkable. He had come into the +Government on the resignation of the Peelites, and his popularity in +Ireland was greater than any other holder of the post in the century, +possibly owing to his negative qualities, and also to a charm of manner +more effusive than usual among Englishmen. + +He had a habit of dropping his state, and going about Dublin, if not +like Haroun Alraschid, at least with the independence of men in less +august positions. + +On one occasion, needing some local information, he went to see the Lord +Mayor of Dublin, but finding him out, was given the address of an +alderman who could tell him what he wanted to know. + +The alderman was not in either, but his wife was, and begged him to stop +to lunch, which was just being served. + +Lord Carlisle told her he hardly ever ate lunch, and was not in the +least hungry. + +But under pressure he sat down to the meal, and got on very well with +it, whereat the lady remarked:-- + +'You see, your Excellency, eating is like scratching: when you once +begin it is hard to stop.' + +His predecessor, Lord Clarendon, had been in office when Lord John +Russell, the Prime Minister, urged on the House of Commons a bill for +the abolition of the Lord-Lieutenancy. The great point that he made was +that the Chief Secretary might become a mayor of the viceregal palace, a +thing that has now long been the case, for the Lord-Lieutenant has to be +a plutocrat of high descent, and the Chief Secretary is the virtual +administrator of Ireland--a thing unknown, however, until the advent of +Mr. Foster. The second reading was carried by a majority of over a +hundred and fifty, but it was then dropped. + +The story went that the Duke of Wellington had suggested to Prince +Albert the possible diminution of respect for the Crown in Ireland +without a visible representative, and the Teutonic mind could not endure +such a notion. + +Lord Clarendon upheld the dignity of his position, though he was liked +by neither party in Ireland. He is the only Lord-Lieutenant who ever +administered sharp discipline to the Orangemen--who regard their loyalty +as permitting them a good deal of licence--for he removed the name of +their leader, Lord Roden, from the Commission of the Peace because he +encouraged a turbulent procession at Dolly's Brae. With his pompous +manner he made a very Brummagem monarch, quite indifferent to his +unpopularity. As a matter of fact, some allege that all Lord-Lieutenants +are hated by the disloyal section of the populace, and if they go +through the farce of currying popularity, they can only do so by largely +patronising about a dozen shopkeepers, who eventually curse because yet +more has not been spent. But this is altogether too limited to be true. + + +Lord Kimberley followed Lord Carlisle. In those days he was Lord +Wodehouse, and the Fenians used to issue mock proclamations, in ridicule +of his, signed 'Woodlouse.' He was an experienced parliamentarian--a man +who held office for many years, and worked conscientiously, according to +his lights. + +In Ireland he always appeared to be a naturalist, perplexed at not +understanding the species among which his lot was for the time cast. + +His mother was subsequently married to Mr. Crosbie Moore, and she ran +away with Colonel Fitz-Gibbon, afterwards Lord Clare. + +Mr. Crosbie Moore had not much sense of humour, as the following tale +will show. + +He was presiding at Ballyporeen Petty Sessions, when a village tailor +was summoned for having his pig wandering on the road. + +The fellow pleaded that it was due to great curiosity on the part of the +pig, who saw some constabulary passing by, and rushed out to see what +they were like. + +He made this explanation in such humorous fashion that most of the +magistrates were for letting him off; but Mr. Crosbie Moore said it was +scandalous that they had directed the police to summon people on that +very ground, and they wanted to acquit the culprit because he had made a +joke. + +The rest of the Bench had to acquiesce, and the tailor was fined one +shilling. + +He paid his shilling, and said:-- + +'I have no blame to you at all, gentlemen, except to Mr. Crosbie Moore; +and, indeed, if he reflected, he should have known that no live man +could keep a woman or a pig in the house when she wanted to be off.' + +A subscription raised for him outside the Court realised twenty-three +shillings. + +Tradition goes that when Lord Kimberley, Lord Carlingford, and Lord +Granville were all in Mr. Gladstone's Cabinet, Mr. Chamberlain--then at +the Board of Trade--in a moment of vexation called them 'Gladstone's +grannies,' and if the phrase is not his, it most certainly was apt and +truthful. + +Lord Kimberley was known as 'Pussy' among a gang of disrespectful +subordinates. He really did as little to earn respect as he did to +forfeit it; in fact he was a pre-eminently respectable mediocrity of the +kind that, towards the close of the mid-Victorian period, clung like +barnacles to office, and he was a Whig during the period that Whiggism +was growing obsolete. + +The Duke of Abercorn certainly had no tendencies towards the lavish +extravagance by which a modern Lord-Lieutenant has to pay his footing. A +short time before he was chosen he had claimed the Dukedom of +Chatelherault in France, and was known in consequence among the +malcontents as the 'French Frog.' His wife was the daughter of one Duke +of Bedford, and when another came to stay at the viceregal, it was for a +time called the 'Dukeries.' The A.D.C.'s, who were particularly +good-looking, were at once known as the 'Duckeries.' + +The Duke of Marlborough settled down well to his work. He was frankly +the friend of the landlords, and did his best for them. But he brought +no English politicians in his train; he never thought he could settle +every Irish question after he had smoked a pipe over it; and he was +never inaccessible. + +He came on a visit to Muckross when Sir Ivor Guest had the shooting, and +I dined there to meet him. He visited Killarney on several occasions, +and on each of them I had long talks with him. I always thought him a +painstaking, well-meaning man. + +Lord Cowper was an honest nonentity who left the country in disgust +because he was not backed up by the Government. Several modern +figureheads would be very much surprised at any Government expecting +them to do more than 'understudy Royalty.' But Cowper thought himself a +diplomatist; was fond of authoritatively laying down the law on +continental affairs, as though he had the refusal of the Foreign Office +in his pocket; and felt he ought to have as much support as Palmerston +obtained from the various Cabinets he burdened with European embroglios. + +However, Lord Spencer, on being reappointed for a second term, took up +the thankless task at an especially black moment. He was as brave as a +lion; and if his red beard gained him the nickname of 'Rufus,' the Red +Viceroy was as fearless as though his life were absolutely secure, +instead of depending wholly on the vigilance of those surrounding him. + +We all admired Lord Spencer for his firmness; but this was soon +discovered to be due to the fact that he absolutely followed the sage +advice of Sir Edward Sullivan, the Lord Chancellor, and after the death +of the latter, Lord Spencer's weakness was quite as remarkable as his +previous firmness. + +He was seen on one occasion with his hands pressing his back. + +Said one man:-- + +'I fear his Excellency has lumbago.' + +'Not at all,' replied his friend; 'he is feeling for his backbone.' + +The state of Westmeath was really the worst feature of the period of his +rule, yet Lord Spenser was in the country all the while, and allowed +matters to degenerate with his eyes open. + +He rode hard to hounds, in spite of countless threats, and might have +had a less uncomfortable time had the head of the Constabulary been as +thoroughly capable as his subordinates. + +Lord Carnarvon very nearly ruined the Government by his communications +with Mr. Parnell. He meant well, and struck out a patriotic line of his +own, which failed because it was made in absolute ignorance of the Irish +character. But he never intended to involve his colleagues, although +numbers of people chose to regard him as a Tory Home Ruler. His previous +action in resigning the Secretaryship of the Colonies in Lord Derby's +third administration, owing to a difference of opinion on parliamentary +reform, and his subsequent resignation because he disapproved of Lord +Beaconsfield's Eastern action in 1878, showed him to be a man of marked +and fearless opinions. Lord Salisbury ought to have known that he was +thrusting a brand into the fire when he sent him to be the official +bellows-blower of the Hibernian pot. + +Lord Aberdeen will always be remembered as the husband of his wife. Lady +Aberdeen was a more ardent Home Ruler than even her brother, Lord +Tweedmouth. On one occasion Lord Morris was next her at dinner, and she +said she supposed the majority of people in Ireland were in favour of +Home Rule. + +'Indeed, then, with the exception of yourself and the waiters, there's +not one in the room,' was his answer. + +'Of course, not in the Castle,' she replied with dignity; 'but in your +profession, and when you are on circuit, surely you must meet a good +many?' + +'Occasionally--in the dock,' he drily retorted, after which she +discreetly dropped the subject. + +Lord Aberdeen was most exemplary during his brief tenure of office, and +certainly it was not in his time that the folk christened the royal box +at the theatre the 'loose box,' in allusion to the rather dubious +English guests of the vivacious viceroy. + +Lord Londonderry and Lord Zetland may be both briefly bracketed together +as having done their duty admirably in times less out of joint than +those of their predecessors. Lord Londonderry always drank Irish whisky +himself, and recommended it to his guests as a capital beverage--a thing +which the licensed victuallers did not mind mentioning to Paddy and Mick +when they were having a drop, despite their vaunted contempt of all at +'the Castle.' + +No other Lord-Lieutenant ever had such a mournful experience as Lord +Houghton. Son of Monckton Milnes, the 'cool of the evening,' he needed +his father's temperament to enable him to endure the boycott which Irish +society inflicted on him as the representative of the Home Rule +disruption policy. With no class did he go down, and on a crowded +market-day in Tralee not a hat was raised to him. + +One of his A.D.C.'s was subsequently on the veldt, and when asked if it +was not lonely, he replied:-- + +'Not more than Dublin Castle, when Houghton was the king.' + +On one occasion some people were officially commanded to dine. Not a +carriage was to be seen as they drove up to the Viceregal Lodge, so the +gentleman told his coachman to drive round the Phoenix Park, as they +must be too early. There was still no sign of any gathering as they +again approached the official residence, and when they entered they +found they were the only guests, and the infuriated Lord Houghton, as +well as all his household had been kept waiting twenty minutes by this +hapless pair. + +Another story, which was much enjoyed in Ireland as showing the +pomposity of his Excellency, may be recalled. Whether true it is now +difficult to say, but there is no doubt that the tale was started among +the very house-party who were at Carton at the time. + +The beautiful _chatelaine_, the lovely Duchess of Leinster, was walking +through the fields one Sunday afternoon with Lord Houghton. + +They came to a gate, which he opened, but to her astonishment proceeded +to walk through it first himself. + +The indignant Duchess haughtily remarked:-- + +'The Prince of Wales would not think of passing through a gate before +me.' + +'That may be; but I represent the Queen,' replied Lord Houghton, with +unruffled imperturbability. + +Lord Cadogan and Lord Dudley come so absolutely into contemporary +history that on them nothing can here be said, except that their +munificence has rendered it impossible for any peer of moderate private +means to hold the office. + +In sober truth, however, the administration of Government really rests +with the Chief Secretary in recent times, although it was not so before +the advent of Mr. Foster. Men like Lord Naas, Sir Robert Peel the +younger, and Mr. Chichester Fortescue--afterwards Lord Carlingford--were +mere official cyphers, but after Mr. Gladstone's 1880 ministry this has +never been the case. + +Of Sir Robert Peel it was wittily said that when Chief Secretary he went +through the country on an outside car, which made him take a one-sided +view of the Irish question. + +Lord Morris said to an inquiring Scottish M.P.:-- + +'Did you ever know a Scottish Secretary who was not Scottish, or an +Irish Secretary who was Irish?' + +'No,' said the Scotsman. + +'Well, go home and moralise over that as a possible solution of some +Irish difficulties, for may be, if an Irishman was sent over, by +accident, to be Chief Secretary, the official would not fall into the +mistake of trying to reconcile the irerconcilable.' + +And to my mind Lord Morris had the last word in every sense. + +Mr. W.E. Forster was far too honest to be the tool of Mr. Gladstone's +Hibernian dishonesty. He was perfectly fearless, but, beneath his rugged +exterior, deeply sensitive. He winced under 'buckshot,' and many other +epithets; but abuse and danger alike never prevented him from doing what +he had to do to the best of his ability. His earliest acquaintance with +Ireland had been in the famine, when he was one of the deputation of +succour organised by the Society of Friends, and everybody who has read +Mr. Morley's _Life of Cobden_ will remember the appreciation of their +efforts by the great free-trader. + +Mr. Forster did not think the Irish administration should be all 'a +scuffle and a scramble,' and he inaugurated a reversal of the old +balance between Lord-Lieutenants and Chief Secretaries which has never +been subsequently changed. Indeed, it is often only the latter who has a +seat in the Cabinet. He was the victim of many misapprehensions--the +bulk of them wilful--but one which worried him was a widespread +conviction that he was a slow man. His delivery was slow, his manner +deliberate, and he did not lightly give an opinion. Yet emphatically he +was not a slow man, and as an instance may be stated the fact that he +elaborated his scheme of decentralising the powers of the Irish +Government in a single evening in December 1881. I know he was harassed, +nay, martyrised, beyond endurance, through the evasive volubility of Mr. +Gladstone, which, both by mouth and letter, formed a heavier burden than +all the Irish attacks; but he was a just and conscientious man, and I +never heard of a case where appeal was made to him on which he did not +act as reasonably as was compatible with loyalty to such a Prime +Minister. + +His courage in walking unarmed and without police escort in Tulla and +Athenry was as great as ever was displayed by a knight-errant of old. +The Nationalist papers, no longer able to taunt him with cowardice, took +to declaring him to be a person notorious for ferocious brutality. + +Sir Wemyss Reid said that in the House of Commons his fellow-members had +literally seen his hair whiten during those two years of patriotic +martyrdom in Ireland, and I always feel that the inner life of this +reticent, commanding statesman would have made a wonderful human +document. His capacity, if not his forbearance, has been inherited by +his adopted son, Mr. Arnold Forster, the present Secretary for War, who +acted as his private secretary in the latter years of his life. + +When I read Lord Rosebery's speech advocating a Cabinet of business men, +I instinctively thought of the late Mr. W.E. Forster, and it is his heir +who is the first illustration of the Liberal Peer's theory. Since +Cromwell cleared out the House of Commons, no one has done so much as +Mr. Arnold Forster, for he upset the seats of the mighty in the War +Office three months after he kissed hands. I wonder how he would have +dealt with Parnellism and crime. + +Mr. Forster's predecessor, Mr. James Lowther, was an uncommonly capable +man, and gifted with a fund of humour which prevented him from taking +the Irish too seriously. In 1879 I heard the Irish members in the House +of Commons vituperating him after a manner that subsequently became +unpleasantly familiar, but was then regarded as a gross breach of the +conventions of debate. 'Jim' lay back on the Treasury bench with his hat +over his eyes, and to all appearance sound asleep. Never once did he +show sign of hearing their verbal tornado; but eventually he sprang to +his feet, and with infectious gaiety literally chaffed them to madness. +I have often thought that the long-limbed Tory member for Hertford, who +was then private secretary to his uncle, Lord Salisbury, must have taken +note of the methods of Mr. Lowther in dealing with the Irish party, for +it was absolutely on the same lines that he subsequently developed that +superb flow of sarcasm which made him, Mr. A.J. Balfour, the popular +idol ten years later. + +It has been a practice for many years to appoint a man Chief Secretary +for Ireland in order to see if he is fit for anything else. This plan +turned out well in the case of Mr. A.J. Balfour, for he knew Ireland +better than any other Chief Secretary, and when he came to know it +properly he was removed. + +His brother did as much harm in Ireland as Mr. Arthur Balfour did good. +Indeed, in the whole nineteenth century no other incompetent Chief +Secretary misunderstood Ireland with such complete complacency, and if +it had not been for the supervision which 'A.J.' undoubtedly gave, Mr. +Gerald Balfour would have a still worse record. + +There was a poem, not particularly brilliant, which may be quoted +because it is not widely known:-- + + 'If I had a Balfour who wrong would go, + Do you think I'd tolerate him?--No, no, no! + I'd give him coercion in Kilmainham jail, + And return him to Arthur, who'd laugh at his wail.' + +In fact the impression prevailed that Ireland was then sacrificed to the +nepotism of Lord Salisbury, who had inflicted the least capable of the +House of Cecil on the distressful country. + +When the Duke of York was in Ireland, he stayed with Lord Dunraven, and +Mr. Gerald Balfour as Chief Secretary was one of the house-party, and +the mother of the Knight of Glin was also there. + +A short time before, a chemist from Cork, who had been appointed +sub-confiscator, and desired to secure his own position, had heavily cut +down the Fitzgerald rents. + +Mr. Balfour, by way of making polite conversation, observed to Mrs. +Fitzgerald:-- + +'I believe your son's property has been a long time in the family.' + +'Yes,' she said, 'we got it in the reign of Edward I., and held it until +last year, when the Government sent an apothecary from Cork to rob us of +it.' + +The conversation dropped. + +Mr. Arthur Balfour was very plucky, not only personally, but in his +legislative efforts, and he did wonders for Ireland--the light railways +relieving numbers from starvation, and opening up the country. + +An English journalist went down to the West, and tried to make inquiries +about the popularity of the Chief Secretary. + +He came to the cabin of a man who had been rescued from starvation by +getting Government employment, and had thrived so well that he had +become possessed of a pig. + +This pig, on the appearance of the Englishman, escaped into a +potato-field, and he heard the woman of the house shout to her son:-- + +'Mickey, look sharp and turn out Arthur Balfour before he does any +mischief.' + +The name of the pig showed the gratitude of the family. + +When alluding to Mr. Lowther I omitted to mention that he was always of +opinion that a well-planned scheme of education was the best panacea for +the Irish troubles, and it certainly would have brought up a generation +less keenly sensitive to the exaggerated wrongs of the country to which +both sexes are so frantically attached. During his not very lengthy +tenure of the office of Chief Secretary it was asserted that Sir George +Trevelyan also had some such idea; but whether he went so far as to +draft his plan, and it was consigned to some forgotten pigeon-hole by +Mr. Gladstone, I cannot say. + +When the Duke of Argyll described Sir George Trevelyan as a jelly-fish, +he made a comparison which, from my personal experience, I should call +particularly apt. + +Ireland had very little use for such a flabby politician, and it may be +added, he had very little use for Ireland. + +He was in such a devil of a fright at being forced to succeed poor Lord +Frederick Cavendish that it was some time before the pressure put upon +him sufficed to make him accept office, nor would he be induced to go +over to Dublin Castle at all until he had been given Cabinet rank. As +for the Cabinet, they were so anxious to settle upon a living target for +the Home Rulers to practise upon, and so afraid that through his default +one of themselves might have to undertake the unpleasant office, that +they would have given the prospective victim almost anything he liked, +on the principle of letting the condemned criminal choose what he +prefers for his final meal before that brief interview with the hangman. + + +Directly after the formation of the following Radical Government, I met +an Englishman of considerable political importance in Pall Mall, and he +observed:-- + +'The new Cabinet is quarrelling among themselves.' + +'Who are fighting?' I asked. + +'Chamberlain and Trevelyan,' he replied. + +'What about?' + +'Chamberlain says that he brought the party back into office, and he +wants the Colonial Office; but Gladstone insists on his being content +with the Local Government Board. Trevelyan says that, as he has for +years had experience in naval affairs, he ought to be made First Lord. +But Gladstone, though he cannot prevail on him to be Chief Secretary, +has sent him to the India Office.' + +'And may give him free lodgings in Kilmainham if he is refractory,' I +chimed in. 'And so these two are like pigs with their bristles hurt, +poor things. There's a pity.' + +Some time later, when I heard Messrs. Chamberlain and Trevelyan were so +disgusted with the Home Rule Bill that they were leaving the Government, +says I to myself, 'I wonder if Mr. Gladstone in his own heart thinks if +he had gratified their wishes about office he could have retained them.' + +But as a matter of fact both are patriots far above such demeaning +insinuations. + +Mr. John Morley was a very well-meaning Chief Secretary, but a very +misguided man. + +In a conversation with me, Mr. Morley observed that, owing to the +agitation, he saw no alternative but to make Parnell Chief Secretary. + +I said that would be no use, for if he attempted to do his duty he would +be shot, even more readily than I should. + +Mr. Morley retorted:-- + +'He is the leader of the Irish nation.' + +'I admit it,' I replied, 'and he is the only man you can make terms +with.' + +'How?' says he. + +'You had better ask him,' says I, 'to nominate some foreign potentate to +appoint commissioners who will say to Mr. Parnell, "Let Ireland pay her +share of the national debt and buy out every loyal person who wishes to +leave the country," and then, if Mr. Parnell says, "We are not able to +do that," let them retort, "We will then disfranchise you, for this +humbug has been going on long enough."' + +'That's about it, according to your lights,' replied Mr. Morley. + +Was I not right? + +It is a singular fact that Ulster and Alsace-Lorraine have about the +same acreage--5,322,334 to 3,586,560--and about the same +population--1,581,357 to 1,719,470. The French and Germans are each +willing to spend a hundred millions of money and half a million lives, +the one to recover, the other to retain, the province, and yet Mr. +Gladstone proposed, not only to abandon Ulster, but to put it under the +rule of the people the Ulsterites hate most on earth. + +It is also remarkable that at the time of the Union the population of +Belfast was 35,000, and Dublin 250,000. Now Belfast is 335,000, while +Dublin remains at a quarter of a million. Belfast, in point of customs, +is the third largest city in the British dominions, coming next after +London and Liverpool, whilst it is the finest shipbuilding town in the +world. + +Yet its inhabitants were to be sold as though they were African slaves, +for the sole purpose of getting votes for the Liberal Government. + +I was one day invited by Froude to come to his home to argue out the +Irish question with Mr. Jacob Bright and Mr. John Morley. + +I counted on having Mr. Froude on my side, knowing his strong views, but +as host he would not interfere. However, Miss Cobbe was there, and to my +mind was equal to any of the company. With her on my side, I flatter +myself we were too many for the others; but the worst of all arguments +is that the arguing rarely serves any purpose except to make either +party more obstinate. + +I knew John Bright very well. + +He was far and away the most honest man of all the Liberal party, and he +fully realised the fact that a visible concentration of property and +universal suffrage could not exist together. He was therefore anxious to +enlarge the number of proprietors, but he did not countenance it being +done entirely at the expense of the English Government without the +tenants having to find such a sum of money out of their own pockets as +would give them an interest in paying off the Government charges. + +He was a very broad-minded man, with a simplicity of character which was +admirable. I liked him much, and my one complaint against him was that +he would never accept my invitations to come and pay me a visit in +Kerry. + +I never heard him make a speech, but with his beautiful voice it was a +great treat to hear him read Milton. On one occasion he took me to the +House specially to see Mr. Gladstone, but after nearly an hour he had +reluctantly to tell me that the Prime Minister could not find leisure +for our conversation that day owing to pressure of business, and another +opportunity never came. + +Although I regret not having met Mr. Gladstone, I yet feel glad that I +never shook him by the hand. I may here mention that I never met Mr. +Parnell, though I have seen him in the House. + +From my point of view Mr. John Morley has a dual existence. As man and +as historian he is Jekyl, but as politician he is Hyde. + +There is a well-known story about him, so familiar to some of us that it +is possibly forgotten in England, wherefore I venture to relate it once +more. + +He was on a car, and asked the driver:-- + +'Well, Pat, you'll be having great times when you get Home Rule?' + +'We will, your honour--for a week,' replied the man. + +'Why only a week?' inquired the politician. + +'Driving the quality to the steamers.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +GLADSTONIAN LEGISLATION + + +Although the exact measure of my appreciation of the Irish policy of the +most dangerous Englishman of the nineteenth century has already been +clearly indicated by casual remarks in previous chapters, that will not +absolve me from duly setting forth some sketch of the inestimable amount +of evil which resulted from the interest he unfortunately took in my +unhappy land. + +If Napoleon was the scourge of Europe, Mr. Gladstone was the most +malevolent imp of mischief that ever ruined any one country, and I am +heartily grieved that that country should have been mine. + +It is so difficult to get English people to take any interest in Irish +topics that I fully expect this chapter will be skipped by most of my +readers east of Dublin. Yet if any will read these few pages, they will +get as clear a view of the harm one man can do a whole land as by wading +through hundreds of volumes, for I am giving them the concentrated +knowledge I have accumulated by years devoted to profound study of the +subject. + +The course of history may be taken up almost on the morrow of the +famine, for potatoes began to be a scarce crop again in 1850, yet the +country was improving rapidly, and the relations between landlord and +tenant were as cordial as in any part of the world. + +So they continued in absolute amity until what is virtually universal +suffrage was introduced and the ignoramus became the tool of every +political knave. + +Mr. Gladstone stated that he brought in the Irish Church Act to pacify +the country in 1868, when the land was as peaceful as English pastures +on a Sunday evening. He must really have done so to propitiate English +dissenters, for no one in Ireland appeared to want it. + +By this Act a resident gentleman was taken away from every parish in +Ireland, whereby the evils of absentee landlordism were gravely +enhanced. + +Mr. Gladstone called it an act of sublime justice from England to +Ireland. Previously, in virtue of ancient treaties commencing as far +back as the reigns of William and Mary, the English Government was +giving Presbyterians a grant--called Regium Donum--of L70,000 a year, +and by a more recent arrangement was giving Maynooth a grant of L24,000, +but that Whig Government actually paid them off out of the spoils of the +Irish Church, thereby saving the British Exchequer L94,000 a year. + +And if this be an act of justice, then Aristides can be classed among +hypocritical swindlers. + +It must be borne in mind that when William Pitt caused the Act of Union +to be passed in Parliament, the union of the Churches was a fundamental +feature, and this, indeed, was the main inducement held out to +Protestants to promote the Union. + +Surely it cannot be held to be a valid Union when the principal +consideration in it is set aside, to say nothing of increasing the +taxation by two million sterling a year more than was ever contemplated +by the Act. This was clearly borne out by a Royal Commission composed +mostly of Englishmen and presided over by Mr. Childers, an earnest +politician and an ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer. + +The Catholic priests who expected that their Church would be established +were disappointed, while the landlords, who were generally Protestants, +had henceforth to support their clergy and at the same time to pay +tithes to the State. + +As Irish taxation increased 50 per cent, while that of England only +increased 18 per cent., the Irish people did not find Mr. Gladstone's +Act soothing or profitable. + +His next perpetration was the Land Act of 1870, whereby he provided that +no landlord could turn out his tenant without paying him for all his +improvements (even if these had been done without the knowledge or +sanction of the landlord) and giving the tenant a compensation in money +equal to about one-fourth of the fee-simple. + +This Act might have been all right in principle, but it was useless in +practice, and the compensation made to the County Court Judge for +adjudicature came to far more than the amount awarded. + +This is easily accounted for, thus:-- + +You might as well bring in an Act of Parliament to prevent people +cutting off their own noses. + +No sane person does such a thing, and no landlord ever turned out an +improving tenant. + +But the Irish tenants, having almost the sole representation of the +country in their hands, returned a body of representatives pledged to +the confiscation of landed property; and in order to keep his party in +power by securing their votes, Mr. Gladstone brought in the Land Act of +1881. + +I heard him introduce the motion in the House of Commons, and his speech +was a truly marvellous feat of oratory. He was interrupted on all sides +of the House, and in a speech of nearly five hours in length never once +lost the thread of his discourse. + +As far as I could judge, he never even by accident let slip one word of +truth. + +When the Act passed, Mr. Gladstone anticipated that eight +sub-commissioners would do the work. This number very soon ran up to one +hundred sub-commissioners and more than twenty County Court valuers. + +The result is that every tenant has been running down his land and +letting it go out of cultivation, for the tenants know the commissioners +value the ground as they find it, and a premium is thus, of course, put +on neglecting the soil. + +To show the system on which the valuation was done, many cases have been +known of the commissioners arriving to value a property after three +o'clock on a December afternoon. + +It is a positive fact that there are professional experts who obtain +substantial fees for showing tenants the speediest methods of damaging +their own land. + +All the same I cannot help thinking their services are a matter of +supererogation, for a recalcitrant Irish tenant in the South and West +needs instruction in no branch of villainy. + +On one of Lord Kenmare's estates, I executed drainage works costing over +L200. These were dependent upon sluices to keep out the tide at high +water. A few days before the land was to be inspected, the tenants put +bushes in the sluices, let the tide in and flooded the whole land. + +And then a prating, mendacious local schoolmaster began comparing these +villains to the patriotic Dutch who flooded their land rather than +permit it to be conquered by the national foe. + +I could give scores of such instances of wilful destruction of property +for the purpose of obtaining a reduction. + +Here is one. + +A tenant near Blarney, in County Cork, was seen to be ploughing up a +valuable water meadow. + +When asked by a gentleman why he was injuring his land, he replied +without hesitation that he was going to get his rent fixed, and +immediately afterwards he should lay it down again as a water meadow. + +It is scarcely credible how great was the amount of perjury that this +Act brought into the country. + +A tenant on a property to which I was agent, whose rent was L6 a year, +swore he expended L395 on improvements and all that it was worth +afterwards was L4, 10s. He received the implicit credit of the court. + +According to the laws of the Roman Catholic Church perjury in a court of +justice is a reserved sin for which absolution can only be given by a +bishop or by priests specially appointed for that purpose. + +One priest applied to the bishop for plenary powers, and said the bishop +to him:-- + +'Are the people so generally bad in your parish?' + +'It's the fault of the laws, my lord,' replied the priest. + +'What laws?' asked the bishop. + +'Firstly, under the Crimes Act, my poor people have to swear they do not +know the moonlighters that come to the house, or they would be murdered. + +'Secondly, under the Arrears Act, they have to swear they are worth +nothing in the world or they would not get the Government money. + +'Thirdly, under the Land Act, while they have to swear up their own +improvements, they must also swear down the value of the land, or they +will get no reductions. + +'So you see, my lord, the sin lies at the door of those who made the +infamous laws which lead weak sinners into temptation they cannot be +expected to overcome.' + +The bishop said nothing, but he gave the priest all the powers he +desired. + +I myself heard this story from a parish priest who was present, and as I +have several times told it to different people, it may have found its +way into print, though I have no recollection of ever seeing it in black +and white. + +Allusion having just been made to the Arrears Act, it may be here +opportune to point out that this was the next step in Mr. Gladstone's +long sequence of Irish mismanagement. This iniquitous measure provided +that no matter how great the arrears owed by the tenant, by lodging one +year's rent another could be obtained from the Government, and the +landlord was compelled to wipe out the balance. So that if Jack, Tom, +and James were all tenants on town land, should Jack be an honest man he +obtained no redress, whereas if Tom and James were hardened defaulters +they obtained the complete settlement of all their arrears. + +To obtain the grant of a year's rent from Government, the tenant had to +swear as to his assets and also as to the selling value of his farm. + +Here is an illustration which came under my own observation. + +A tenant named Richard Sweeney, whose rent was L48 a year, owed three +years' rent. He paid one year, the Government provided another, and the +landlord had to forgive the third. + +To obtain this result, Sweeney swore that the selling value of his farm +was _nil_, and he received a receipt in full. + +A few weeks later he served me--as agent for the landlord--with notice +that he had sold his interest in the property for L630. + +That is not the end of my story. + +The purchaser was a man named Murphy, and a very few years afterwards, +upon the ground that the rent was too dear, he took the farm for which +he had paid L630 to Sweeney into the Land Courts and got the rent +reduced to L36. + +The absurdity of this system was well brought out before the Fry +Commission, when one high-commissioner and a sub-commissioner both said +that in valuing the land they took into consideration the tenant's +occupation interest. + +The reader will see the way this works out, if he will accept the very +simple hypothetical case of two tenants holding land to the worth of L40 +each, and one of them only paying L20 a year rent. When they both took +their cases into the Land Court, the man paying the lower rent of L20 +would obtain the larger reduction, because he had the greater +occupation. + +These facts will show that a Purchase Bill was an absolute necessity. +Lord Dufferin truly remarked that landlord and tenant were both in the +same bed, and Mr. Gladstone thought to settle their disputes by giving +the tenant a larger share than he had ever had before. But the tenant +considered that as he had obtained that concession by fraud and +violence, if he could only give one effective kick more, he would put +the landlord on the floor for the rest of the term of their national +life. + +When introducing the Land Act of 1870, Mr. Gladstone proved himself if +not an Irish statesman, an admirable prophet, for he denounced in +anticipation exactly what the effect of the Land Act of 1881 would be. + +In 1870, he prospectively criticised such an institution as the Land +Court, which in 1881 he proposed, with its power to give a 'judicial +rent.' + +'But it is suggested we should establish, permanently and positively, a +power in the hands of the State to reduce excessive rents. Now I should +like to hear a careful argument in support of that plan. I wish at all +events to retain at all times a judicial habit of not condemning a thing +utterly until I have heard what is to be said for it; but I own I have +not heard, I do not know, and I cannot conceive, what is to be said for +the prospective power to reduce excessive rents. If I could conceive a +plan more calculated than everything else, first of all, for throwing +into confusion the whole economical arrangements of the country; +secondly, for driving out of the field all solvent and honest men who +might be bidders for farms; thirdly, for carrying widespread +demoralisation throughout the whole mass of the Irish people, I must say +it is this plan.' + +And again:-- + +'We are not ready to accede to a principle of legislation by which the +State shall take into its own hands the valuation of rent throughout +Ireland. I say, "take into its own hands" because it is perfectly +immaterial whether the thing shall be done by a State officer forming +part of the Civil Service, or by an arbitration acting under State +authority, or by any other person invested by the law with power to +determine on what terms as to rent every holding in Ireland shall be +held.' + +This categorical denunciation of the principle which he was then asked, +and which he peremptorily refused to sanction, was not enough for Mr. +Gladstone, for the records of debate show he went farther, but enough +has been cited to show that never was prophecy more fully fulfilled. +Outrage followed outrage with a rapidity unequalled in Europe, and that +in a country which previous to his remedial measures had practically +been unstained by an agrarian outrage for fifty years. + +It would certainly be both remiss of me, and altogether below the +character which I trust I have acquired for honest plain speaking, if I +omitted to give my views upon Mr. Wyndham's Act, for those readers who +regard my book as something more than a storehouse of anecdotes--and +since it is written at all, I maintain it claims to be more than +that--having noticed the freedom with which I have spoken of previous +English legislation for Ireland, may very naturally think I should be +begging the question of the hour, if I did not offer a few observations +on the latest development of the Irish question. + +I must emphatically repeat what I have already asserted:--that the Acts +of Mr. Gladstone rendered a Purchase Bill inevitable, and it fell to Mr. +Wyndham's lot to formulate the scheme which has now become law. + +Mr. Wyndham's Act is a great one for Ireland, because where a tenant +previously paid L100 a year rent, all he will have to pay--even at +twenty-four years' purchase--is L80 a year, and at that rate with the +bonus the landlord obtains twenty-seven years' purchase. But this scale +is a little halcyon in most instances. + +It should prove a boon to the country, and it is the necessary outcome +of the Land Act of 1881, by which rents were cut down by commissioners, +whose means of living depended on the reductions they made. + +And to make this state of things yet more remarkable, there were two +courts established for fixing rates. The one consisted of +sub-commissioners, who were paid by the year, and the other was that of +the County Court judge, who was wholly dependent on a valuer paid by the +day. + +So, whoever cut down the most earned the most. + +A valuer in Limerick was remonstrated with for cutting down local rents +so low, and he replied:-- + +'It is all for the good of trade, for it will bring every tenant into +the Court.' + +And so it actually did, for that Court very shortly afterwards was chock +full of cases. + +My own opinion is that the Wyndham Act would have been far more +beneficial, if the Government had given the tenant a free grant of some +of the purchase money, and insisted on his finding some more of it +himself, whereby would have been created a deeper interest in his land +than is now inspired in his breast by the mere transference of his lease +from his old landlord to the Government. + +I made this remark to an Englishman at the Carlton Club, and he said to +me that, according to his view, England should lend whatever money was +wanted but give no free grant. + +I replied:-- + +'A poor man from Kerry came to my house in London, and asked for the +loan of a pound. I declined to lend him the sovereign, but I did lend +him half a crown, and as he bolted to America the very next day, I think +I had the best of the bargain.' + +My friend accepted the analogy and dropped the subject. + +That was far more tactful on his part than the conduct of the English +Government, for the different Acts of Parliament relating to Ireland +have had the effect of rendering the feelings between landlord and +tenant much worse than they were before. + +And the Act of 1881, which provided that landlord and tenant should have +a lawsuit every fifteen years, brought the feeling up to boiling pitch. + +Now the Government inherits all this hatred by proposing to be the sole +landlord in Ireland. Therefore, England is reaping the whirlwind where +Mr. Gladstone sowed the wind. + +This does not appear to me to be sound statesmanship. An open hatred of +the Government has been instilled into the brain of thousands of Irish +children side by side with a more hypocritical hatred of the landlord. +Now that these two are to be combined in one passion, and that directed +against the receiver of rent, matters do not present a promising +outlook. + +If the Government sell up those tenants who do not pay rent in years to +come, no Irish occupiers of the property will be obtainable. + +If English tenants be imported, the latter had better insist on coats of +mail for themselves, and on life insurance policies in favour of the +nearest relatives they leave behind in England. + +That reminds me of a story. + +Sir Denis Fitzpatrick and his daughter were making a tour of the Kerry +fjords some years ago, and the lady asked a boatman on Caragh Lake, what +would happen to a tenant who took an evicted farm. + +The reply was:-- + +'I don't think he'd do it again, Miss, leastways it's in the next world +alone he'd have the chance of making such a fool of himself.' + +This may be commended to any unsophisticated English who contemplate +Hibernian immigration as a prospective way of cheaply obtaining that +once popular bait of Mr. Jesse Collins, three acres and a cow. + +Here is another aspect of not paying rent to Government, which would +occur to no one unacquainted with Ireland, but is quite +characteristic:-- + +Suppose twenty men were tenants on a townland; one would pay, and the +other nineteen after being evicted would also squat down on his patch. +Unless caretakers at a cost of about three times the rent were put in +under excessive police protection, all the nineteen farms would promptly +become derelict. + +It would have been far better if the Government had given a free grant +of one quarter of the purchase money, had compelled the tenant to +himself find another quarter, and had lent the remaining half for a +comparatively short term, say twenty-five years. + +Then the tenant would have had genuine interest in the redemption of his +own property. + +But, asks the English tourist impressed by the apparent beggarliness of +all he sees, how could the tenant procure a quarter of the money? + +Naturally it would be alleged by the agitators that he could not. All +the same you may confidently contradict any such denial as that. + +It is clear that almost any tenant could get the money, if you bear in +mind that though rents are so reduced, the most unimproving tenant can +get from ten to twenty years' purchase for the good-will of his farm. + +Of course, just now the old order is changing considerably in Ireland, +but the loss of their old landlords is not appreciated by the better +class of tenants, though the good have of course to suffer for the +bad--a thing even better known in my country than elsewhere. I heard an +interesting confirmation of this from a lady of my acquaintance, who +having asked a respectable woman what had become of her son, received +the reply:-- + +'Ah, for sure, he has got a situation with a farmer.' + +'Well, that's a good start in life, is it not?' asked my friend, to +which the woman retorted in melancholy accents:-- + +'That may be, but my family have always been rared (_i.e._ reared) on +the gentry until now,' thereby expressing a feeling very prevalent in +Ireland to-day. + +The Home Rulers allege that these high prices which are paid for the +good-will of land are attributable to two causes:-- + + _(a)_ Excess of competition for land. + _(b)_ Irish returning from America. + +Both these reasons are absurd. + +When the population of Ireland was nearly eight millions, these prices +could not be obtainable, nor anything like them, while to-day the +population is only four millions. Unless the returning emigrants thought +they were obtaining good value for their money, they would hardly +abandon a country--the United States--where they can get land for +nothing. + +The enormous increase in the Irish Savings Banks, as well as the +deposits in other Irish Banks, must be almost entirely derived from the +savings of the farmers. The landlords have been ruined by the Land Act; +labourers have no money to spare; and traders will not leave their money +idle at the small rate of interest credited. + +If the farmers thought they had better means of using the money, they +would withdraw it, and they are without doubt as well aware as I am how +they can do the English Government in the future, for if there is any +roguery unknown to them, it is infinitesimal. + +I cannot say that I think many landlords will leave Ireland in +consequence of the Wyndham Act. The few who will go are those who are +glad to be quit at any price, and to be free to pack out of the country. +But many a landlord will be far more comfortable on his own estate, when +he has rid himself of all his tenants. + +One feature of this curious Act is that the Geraldines have got rid of +the last of their property, and escaped all the forfeitures. + +As for the sporting rights, far too much fuss has been made over them. +Except where there are plantations or good fishing, they are of very +little value one way or the other. The Act will not affect the hunting. +Small Irish farmers like to see the hunt almost as much as the hunting +set themselves like to participate in it. + +Of course, too, the Act ought to be popular in Ireland, because it is +taking so much money out of England. + +A point I wish to emphasise is one about which there has been a great +deal of misconception. + +A considerable amount of capital has been made out of the depreciation +of agricultural produce in Ireland as compared with England. But Ireland +is a stock-producing country and not an agricultural country in the +strict sense, for the cultivation of wheat in Ireland has long since +ceased to exist. The true relation may be seen in the fact that in +England the difficulty of getting store-cattle was a loss to farmers, +whereas it has been a decided gain to farmers in Ireland--though they +are not best pleased when you impress the fact on them. + +Mr. Finlay Dun in _Landlords and Tenants in Ireland in 1881_ cites some +examples which may be apt to-day when we are considering Mr. Wyndham's +Act. + +He writes on page 64:-- + +'Kilcockan parish between Lismore and Youghal was in great part disposed +of in the Landed Estates Court thirty years ago. It was bought, some of +it by occupiers, some of it by shopkeepers and attorneys. Rents have +been raised, and there is not much appearance of prosperity. Newtown, +for several generations the fee-simple property of a family of the name +of Nason, after the famine of 1846, was cut up and sold; the family +residence is in ruin. At Lower Curryglass, a few miles east of Lismore, +a good farm of five hundred acres, belonging to a family who have been +obliged to leave it, bears sad evidence of neglect; the good old +deserted manor-house, the farm buildings, and a dozen cottages in the +village are falling to pieces. Contrary to what might be anticipated, +some of the smaller proprietors in this district have been strenuous +supporters of the Land League, although it is to be hoped that they +repudiate the destruction of the cattle on the land of Mr. Grant, which +were stabbed, and some of them drowned in the river. Mr. Grant had come +under the ban of the League for evicting a dissipated bankrupt tenant, +whose debts to the extent of two hundred pounds he had paid, and who +would have been reinstated, if there had been the remotest prospect of +reformed habits or of getting clear of his difficulties. Such acts +appear to justify the statement, "that Irishmen don't know what they +want, and won't be satisfied until they get it."' + +God knows we have waded knee deep in blood of men, and domestic animals +since that was written, yet to-day are we any nearer the final solution +of the Irish difficulties? In my opinion, certainly not. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +THE STATE OF KERRY + + +It has been stated that it is only within the last forty years that the +bulk of the people of Ireland, long outside the pale of the ballot-box, +have actively entered political life. This is quite true. + +The whole of the Home Rule troubles followed the presentation of +practically universal suffrage to the half-educated and +over-enthusiastic Irish, who are easily led away, apt to believe +mob-orators, and, by inherited instinct, to go against the Government. + +What the effect of universal suffrage in India would be it is not my +business to estimate. Still, the analogy of what the ballot-paper +provided in Ireland, if applied to the teeming population of our +Oriental Empire, suggests a pandemonium to which the horrors of the +Mutiny are but a mere scream of agony. + +The ballot transformed Ireland; or rather, it permitted the worst +passions of the most ignorant to be played upon by interested +adventurers, when the political power of Ireland had passed for ever out +of the hands of the restraining classes. Democracy spelt anarchy, and +the word patriotism was degraded in a way that had no parallel since the +French Revolution. + +The first outward and visible sign was the creation of the Irish Home +Rule party, which constituted itself separate and distinct from the rest +of the House of Commons, the standard of which the new gang was to +debase. Nor did they rest content until it became the scene of faction +fights and organised obstruction in combination with the flagrant +violation of all decencies of language and behaviour. + +Members were returned for Irish constituencies who had been convicts; +others came who richly deserved imprisonment for life. They instigated +murders, and clamoured because the murderers were not regarded as +heroes; or if they were hung, canonised them as martyrs. They attempted +to prostitute the law to their own base standard of political morality. +They assiduously laboured to render life valueless in Ireland and +property worthless, whilst no deed was too cowardly, no atrocity too +barbarous, for them to praise. They alone in modern times warred against +women and children. Animals were the dumb victims of the inhuman +ferocity they in no way tried to check, and they effectively taught the +receptive Irish millions that a British Government could be coerced into +giving what was demanded provided a sufficient number of crimes created +a holocaust large enough to intimidate the weak-kneed at St. Stephen's. + +But Mr. Parnell and the Land League would all have been promptly reduced +to the pitiful unimportance from which they had so noisily emerged if it +had not been for Mr. Gladstone. + +The root of English politics has been party government--'where all are +for a party, and none are for the State,' to reverse Macaulay's famous +line. Now the Irish vote of sixty was a solid asset, capable in many +cases of weighing down one side of the political scale. It was obvious +that the votes would be unscrupulously given, and Mr. Gladstone bid +higher than the Tories. Literally the necessary parliamentary machinery +for the government of the United Kingdom was clogged by the +Nationalists, who brought obstruction to a fine art, and it was Mr. +Gladstone who always gave in when the Irish outcry would have stimulated +an honest man to avail himself of all loyal forces which law and the +common weal provided. + +Long before this the Irish political agitator had set himself to +embitter the relations existing between landlord and tenant. An +Englishman goes into Parliament for various motives; an Irishman for his +living. If he did not outshout his neighbour, if he were not implicitly +obedient to Mr. Parnell, if he did not arouse the worst passions of the +worst people in his constituency, he was promptly dismissed. + +To do them justice, the Irish members gave such an exhibition of +blackguardism as has no parallel on earth, though it earned but the +mildest rebuke from their obsequious ally, Mr. Gladstone. + +In 1869, for example, before this balloting away of all that was +creditable to Ireland, the relations between landlord and tenant were of +the most kindly nature. The leading landlords of Kerry generally +represented the county in Parliament with uniform decency and occasional +brilliance, while larger sums were borrowed and expended by the +landlords under the Land Improvement Act than were spent in the same way +in any other county. I can prove that the principal landowner in +Kerry--Lord Kenmare--expended a greater sum in ten years on his estates +than he received out of them, though I cannot say he ever found out for +himself that it was better to give than to receive. + +For fifty years prior to what Mr. Gladstone was pleased to call his +'remedial legislation,' Kerry was unstained by agrarian crime; all +things went on smoothly, and a number of railways were constructed with +guaranteed capital, half of which was contributed by the landlords, +although they received no benefit from the increased prices of farm +produce caused by railway communication. The Board of Works returns show +that the money borrowed by Kerry landlords under the different Land +Improvement Acts amounted to almost half a million, and yet the +deductions made under the Land Act were greater in Kerry than in other +counties. + +Here is an instance from my own experience. + +I purchased from the Government in 1879 an estate, the rental of which +was L517, 2s. 4d.; it was considered so cheaply let that the majority of +the tenants offered twenty-seven years' purchase for their farms. I +borrowed from the Government and expended on drainage L1120, 14s. 11d. +Then the Commissioners under the Land Act reduced the rental to L495, +10s. 6d., and the Government which sold me the estate continued to +compel me to pay interest on the amount borrowed, although by its own +legislation I was deprived of any advantage resulting from the outlay. + +The rental of Kerry in 1870 was considerably less than it had been forty +years previously, and higher prices were paid for the fee-simple of land +than were offered in any other part of Ireland. But Mr. Gladstone's +'remedial manoeuvres' changed the country and the people. + +Demoralising bribes to the Irish nation frittered away the proceeds of +the plunder of the Irish Church. A notable instance was a million under +the Arrears Act, the principle of which was that no honest tenant who +had paid his rent could derive any benefit from it, but that any +drunkard or squanderer who had not paid his rent might have it paid for +him by the Government on swearing that he was unable to pay. + +Here is an instance that occurred on an estate under my management. + +A tenant, whose yearly rent was L48, had one year's rent paid by +Government and another year's rent given up by his landlord, on his +swearing that the selling value of his farm was _nil_; ten weeks +afterwards he served me with a notice, as required by the statute, that +he had sold the interest of the farm for L670. + +Again, there was a tenant who swore that he had expended L513, 14s. 6d. +in permanent improvements, and that after this expenditure the fair +letting value of the farm was only L17, though the original rent was +L26, 4s. + +How could I blame an ignorant peasantry for making false statements, +when laws were framed by the leaders of public opinion in England which +released the Irish tenants from every moral obligation, and made their +assumed responsibilities and agreements a dead letter; while orators, +living on the wages of patriotism, were allowed to preach sedition and +plunder to an excitable people? The result was that the work of +demoralisation made rapid progress, perjury became a joke, assassination +was merely 'removal,' and men who had been brutally murdered were said +to have met with an accident. + +I have already shown how apt a prophet Mr. Gladstone was in his forecast +in the House of Commons in 1870, and one more quotation adds testimony +to his inspiration--though from what direction it came I will not linger +to inquire:-- + +'Compulsory valuation and fixity of tenure would bring about total +demoralisation and a Saturnalia of crime.' + +Exactly. + +Mr. Laing, formerly M.P. for Orkney, in a magazine article defended the +'Plan of Campaign' as an innocent attempt to defend the weak against the +strong, and as having been adopted only on estates where rents were too +high, in fact, as the result of high rents. As a matter of fact, in +Orkney the rents advanced 194 per cent., and during the same period in +Kerry they dwindled. He also asserted that the Irish tenants' +improvements had been confiscated by the landlords as the tenant +improved. + +Certainly the law did not prevent them increasing the rent; but, +unfortunately for the reasoning of Mr. Laing, and his taking for granted +imaginary 'confiscations,' figures most decidedly prove that the +landlords did not use any such power. The rentals have steadily +decreased while the landlords were borrowing and expending nearly half a +million in my own county. + +This fact is conclusively demonstrated by the Government returns. + +As to the National League--with all its paraphernalia of boycotting, +shooting from behind a hedge, merciless beating, shooting in the legs, +and other similar variations of Irish Home Rule, on which I shall dwell +in a later chapter--being only a protector of the weak tenant against +the hard landlord, I think one fact will prove more forcibly than any +argument the fallacy of such an assertion. + +There were two estates in Kerry let at a much lower rate than any others +in the county--those of Lord Cork and Colonel Oliver. + +Colonel Oliver's agent was the only one fired at in Kerry in 1886, and +Lord Cork's agent was the only one obliged to employ over two hundred +police to protect him in endeavouring to recover in 1887 rent which was +due in 1884. This rent was due on land let at considerably under the +Poor Law valuation, and the rents were only half what was paid in 1860. + +These cases afford a decided proof that the Land or National League +carries on its government irrespective of high or low rents, and the +'Plan of Campaign' is worked according as the local branches of the +League have disciplined or terrorised the inhabitants of a district, the +orders from 'headquarters' depending on the probability of success. + +I should like to retort on Mr. Laing that, while the evidence before the +Land Commissioner proved the rental of Ireland was diminishing, that of +the country where his own property lay increased to an unusual degree. I +do not say the landlords confiscated the tenants' improvements, possibly +they made none. But figures are hard facts, and they prove three +things:-- + +First, that Kerry landlords spent L453,539 on improvements. Secondly, +that the rental of Kerry was lower in 1880 than in 1840. Thirdly, that +the rental of Orkney increased 194 per cent. during that time. + +On the south-west coast of Kerry lie the Blasquets, a group of islands +the property of Lord Cork, one of them inhabited by some twenty-five +families. The old rental was L80, which was regularly paid. This was +reduced by Lord Cork to L40, the Government valuation being L60. Now +this island reared about forty milch cows, besides young cattle and +sheep, and at the period when might meant right in Ireland the +inhabitants, having some surplus stock, took possession of another +island to feed them on. + +This island was let to another man, but he was not able to resist the +tenants any more than the mouse nibbling a piece of cheese is able to +fight a cat. + +For ten years up to 1887 those tenants paid no poor rate. They +successfully resisted the payment of county cess, to the detriment of +their fellow taxpayers, and they only paid one half year's rent out of +six, and that not until they had been served with writs. And these +people, in the year 1886, sent a memorial to the Government to save them +from starvation. + +This is a remarkable case, and proves that poverty and the cry of +starvation are not always the result of rents and taxes, as the Irish +patriots and their English separatist allies so frequently assert. + +I am going to quote a colloquy overheard at a Kerry fair to show how +deeply the teaching of Messrs. Parnell, Gladstone, Dillon, Morley, +Davitt, Biggar, and Company has taken root in the Irish mind. + +Jim from Castleisland meeting Mick from Glenbeigh, asks:-- + +'Well, Mick, an' how are ye getting on?' + +'Illigant, glory be to the Saints.' + +'How's that, Mick? Sure, prices is low.' + +'True for you, Jim, prices is low; but what we _has_ we _has_, for we +pays nobody.' + +And to that I will add another observation. + +Somebody asked me:-- + +'If Ireland were to get Home Rule, what would become of the agitator?' + +I replied:-- + +'He would be called a reformer, unless it paid him better to clamour for +a fresh Union. He'd sell all his patriotism for five shillings, and his +loyalty could be bought by a few glasses of whisky.' + +And that's the whole truth of the matter. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +A GLANCE AT MY STEWARDSHIP + + +Davitt called the generation after O'Connell's 'a soulless age of +pitiable cowardice.' + +I should call the generation that was active in the early eighties 'a +cowardly age of pitiless brutality.' + +Times had begun to mend in Ireland from 1850, and had continued to do so +until the ballot made the country a prey to self-seeking political +agitators. + +Mr. Gladstone considered that if you gave a scoundrel a vote it made him +into a philanthropist, whereas events proved it made him an eager +accessory of murder, outrage, and every other crime. + +Yet this happened after Fenianism had practically died out in the early +seventies. + +I myself heard Mr. Gladstone say that landlords had been weighed in the +balance and had not been found wanting, for the bad ones were +exceptional. + +None the less were they and their representatives delivered over to +their natural opponents, who were egged on by the Land League and by its +tacit or active supporters in the House of Commons. + +Emphatically I repeat the assertion that neither Mr. Parnell nor the +Land League would have been formidable without the active help of Mr. +Gladstone. + +Before 1870 Kerry used to be represented by gentlemen of the county. The +present members in 1904 are an attorney's clerk, an assistant +schoolmaster, a Dublin baker, and a fourth of about the same class. + +This was no more foreseen by the landlords when the ballot was +introduced any more than we anticipated the way in which we were to be +plundered. Many considered that the confiscation of the Irish Church, +which had been established since the reign of Elizabeth, was an inroad +into the rights of property very likely to be followed up by further +aggressions, but we never looked for such a wholesale violation as +ensued. + +By the Act of 1870 no tenant could be turned out without being paid a +sum averaging a fourth of the fee-simple in addition to being paid for +his improvements, and there the most observant of us thought the worst +had been reached. + +When the Act of 1881 was passed, I met Lord Spencer, one of the authors +of it, and said to him:-- + +'This Act will have as much effect in settling Ireland as throwing a cup +of dirty water into the Thames would have in creating a flood.' + +My words were soon proved right, for the tenants, having obtained half +the landlord's property by it, thought that by well working their voting +and shooting powers they would get the remainder. + +I have been getting away from my own experiences to give my own +convictions. When you have meditated for twenty years amid the ruins of +what you had been building up all your life long and know that it is due +to Irish outrage and English misrule, there is a temptation to speak +plainly on breaking silence. + +The year 1878 was a wet year and yielded a bad harvest; 1879 was worse. +The prosperity of Ireland depends on its harvest, and starvation is the +opportunity of the lying agitator. + +On July 8, 1880, I gave evidence before the Royal Commission on +Agriculture, being mainly examined by the president, the Duke of +Richmond and Gordon, others on the board being Lord Carlingford, Mr. +Stansfeld, afterwards Lord, Mr. Joseph Cowen, and Mr. Mitchell Henry. + +Here are some of my statements on a then experience of thirty-one +years:-- + +'The expenditure by landlords on farm buildings is as great in Ireland +as in Scotland.' + +'In the exceptional state of things I strongly disapprove of +tenant-right in Ireland, which, as Lord Palmerston said, is landlord +wrong.' + +'Small holdings are a very bad thing in Ireland where they are not mixed +with large holdings.' + +'The distress in Kerry is considerable, but has been considerably +exaggerated.' + +'Every tenant in Ireland has six months to redeem after he is evicted.' + +'I have never known a man leave a farm unless compelled.' + +'I contradict the statement that tenants make improvements which tend to +increase the letting value of the land.' + +'You pay four times as much for spade tillage as for ploughing by +horse.' + +'Bad farming in Ireland is due to want of education and to the enhanced +subdivision of the land. When the farmer gets higher up the social scale +he will have more sense than to make beggars of his children by +subdivision.' + +'Distress has not produced the discontent.' + +'Almost more land has been sold in Kerry than in any county in Ireland.' + +Three months later, in my evidence before the Irish Land Act Commission, +in answer to the Chairman, I stated that in my opinion it was simply +impossible to arbitrate on rent. I had two tenants of my own whose +yearly rent was L20 and whose valuation was L20. One of them in 1880 +sold L135 worth of pigs and butter, and the other man's children were +assisted in charity from my house, though both had equal means of +success. + +I also pointed out that there were then 300,000 occupiers of land in +Ireland, whose holdings were under L8 Poor Law valuation, and these +occupiers when their potatoes failed had nothing but relief works, +starvation, or emigration. To give them their whole rent would not meet +the difficulty. + +I submitted a scheme of purchase, in which Baron Dowse was greatly +interested, and I suggested that all holdings under L4 a year should be +ejected at Petty Sessions, because it was a great hardship for the +tenant of such a holding to have L2, 10s. costs put upon him. + +I ended with:-- + +'There is a case in this county in connection with which there is likely +to be very considerable disturbance. A man had a farm put up for sale +and a Nationalist bought it at a very low figure, on the understanding +that he was to keep it for the man's family; but as soon as he got it he +turned Conservative and kept it.' + + BARON DOWSE--'Turned what?' + + MYSELF--'Conservative.' + + BARON DOWSE--'Rogue, I would say. You would not say that Conservatives + are rogues?' + +Since that was a debatable point on which the Commission had no +jurisdiction to inquire, I returned no answer. + +As the distress was alluded to above, I may lighten the recent +seriousness of my observations by an anecdote on the topic. + +In 1880 the Duchess of Marlborough organised a fund for supplying the +people with meal. The Dublin Mansion House did the same, but their meal +was of a coarser description. + +A Blasquet Islander was asked how he was getting on, and made answer:-- + +'Illigant, glory be to the Saints. We're eating the Duchess, and feeding +two pigs on the Mansion House.' + +This recalls the story of the Englishman who inquired of a Kerry man +which measure of English legislation had proved most beneficial for +Ireland. + +'The Famine (of 1879) was the best, beyond a shadow of doubt,' was the +reply, 'for I fattened and sold ninety fine turkeys on the strength of +it.' + +In 1880 some Kerry men did a very good stroke of business. They sent a +cargo of potatoes from Killorglin to Scotland and brought them back as +imported Champion seed, selling them for six times the original price. + +About this period Mr. Leeson-Marshall, who had been away from Kerry and +coming back found some cottages near Milltown still only half built, +observed:-- + +'Good God, aren't those houses finished yet?' + +'Well, sor,' was the reply, 'the contract's finished but the houses +aren't.' + +And it has been my life-long experience that ninety-five per cent, of +all the penalties in contracts are worthless, as the contractors +themselves are only too well aware. + +Being a land agent, I wish to provide some account from another pen of +my stewardship, for which said stewardship I was falsely called 'the +most rack-renting agent in Ireland.' + +Out of Mr. Finlay Dun's book, from which I have previously quoted, I +condense the following from the chapter he devoted to the estates for +which I was agent. + +He observes that in 1881 my firm had the supervision of eighty-eight +estates, upwards of three thousand farming tenants, and annually +collected rents to the value of a quarter of a million sterling. From +the particulars I furnished him he deduces:-- + +'So recently as the end of November the Lady Day rents had been well +paid up; old arrears had been reduced; on two estates in the Court of +Chancery L6000 had been collected with only a few shillings in default. +Dairy farmers prospering had been particularly well able to pay rents +and other claims. More recent rent collections, unfortunately, were not +so satisfactory. Tenants generally had earned the money, but had not +been allowed to pay it over. + +'Many of the low-rented estates were badly farmed and the tenantry in +low water. On the higher rented, the struggle for existence had brought +out extra industry and energy and led to fair success.' + +The following provided an apt illustration:-- + +'Mr. Gould Adams of Kilmachill had a small estate on the north side of a +hill rented at 20s. an acre; the rents were paid up, the tenants doing +well. On the southern aspect of the same hill, with better land, at the +devoutly desiderated Griffith's valuation, which was 16s. 4d., the +tenants were invariably hard up, some of them two years in arrears. All +tenants had free sale, averaging five years' rent. + +'The larger proprietors, as a rule, were most helpful and liberal to +their tenants. Where improvements were not effected or initiated by the +landlords, they were seldom done at all. There had often been +considerable difficulty in overcoming the prejudice and "the +rest-and-be-thankful" spirit both of landlords and tenants. + +'On Sir George Colthurst's Ballyvourney estate, twenty miles east of +Killarney, under Mr. Hussey's auspices about L30,000 had been expended +in draining, building, and roadmaking. The economic value of many +holdings had been doubled, although the rents had only been increased +five per cent., and subsequently the Commissioners fixed the rents at 25 +per cent. less than they had been fifty years earlier. + +'The extending village of Mill Street had been in great measure +reconstructed by his exertions. + +'The Land League having enforced non-payment of rent, the obligation to +meet other debts was weakened. Although there was more money than usual +in the hands of the farming community, shopkeepers were not so willingly +and promptly paid as formerly. Want of security checked the improved +business which should have set in after a good harvest. The Land League +agitation generally originated with the publicans, small shopkeepers, +and bankrupt farmers, rather than with the actual land occupiers. For +peace and protection, many pay their subscription to the League and +allow their names to be enrolled. The intimidation and 'boycotting,' +which was so widely had recourse to, rendered it dangerous for either +farmers or tradesmen to make a stand against the mob. With Sam Weller it +was regarded expedient to shout with the biggest crowd.' + +Thus wrote a critical visitor keenly surveying the situation in no +prejudiced spirit, having gone on a visit to Ireland to inquire into the +subjects of land tenure and estate management. + +In his next chapter is a tribute to Lord Kenmare, 'a kind and +considerate landlord, united to his people by strong ties of race and +creed, residing for a great part of the year on his estates, ready with +purse and influence to advance the interests of his neighbourhood. On +his mansion and on the town of Killarney, since his accession to the +property in 1871, he has spent L100,000. At his own expense he has +erected a town hall, and improved and beautified Killarney. Within the +last twenty years L10,000 of arrears have been written off. From last +year's rents ten to twenty per cent, was deducted. During the last few +years of distress, L15,000 has been borrowed for draining and other +improvements; regular work has thus been found for the labourer; on such +outlay in many instances no percentage has been charged. Since 1870, +three hundred labourers have been comfortably housed and provided with +gardens or allotments varying from one to three pounds annually.' + +I could not myself so tersely put the situation to-day as by quoting +this contemporary narrative, the facts for which I supplied. + +Once more let me draw upon Mr. Finlay Dun. 'Unmindful of all this +consistent liberality, ungrateful for the great efforts to improve his +poorer neighbours, popular prejudice has been roused against Lord +Kenmare; it has been impossible to collect rents; threatening letters +have been sent to him. Mortified with the apparent fruitlessness of his +humane endeavours he has been compelled to leave Killarney House. + +'His agent, Mr. Hussey, who for twenty years has been earnestly and +intelligently labouring to improve Irish agriculture, to bring more +capital to bear on it, to render it more profitable, and has, besides, +most energetically striven to elevate and house more decently the +labouring population, has also brought down on himself the odium of the +powers that be. For months he has had to travel armed and guarded by a +couple of constables; now he has thought it discreet to leave the +country.' + +This, however, is erroneous. I only took a house for my family in London +for the winter, and was backwards and forwards between Kerry and the +metropolis. + +Against all this let me set another quotation. In _New York Tablet_ for +1880, a letter from Daniel O'Shea, who stated that for a large number of +years he was a resident in Killarney. + +'Among the most prominent tyrants was Lord Kenmare, who has so recently +surpassed himself and his antecedents in despotism. He is a lineal +descendant of the original land thief, Valentine Brown, who was a +special pet of 'the Virgin Queen' Bess, and strange to relate, this +descendant of that Brown is a much-favoured pet of John Brown's Queen. +Let me explain that he lives with the Queen in London where he holds the +position of chamberlain (_sic_) ... At Aghadoe House now resides that +ruthless Sam Hussey. Allow me to give you an outline of this heartless +fellow's antecedents. This Hussey is of English origin and was formerly +a cattle-dealer, and practised usury as far back as 1845. If all Ireland +were to be searched for a similar despot he would not be found. He is a +regular anti-Christ and Orangeman at heart, and, in fact, he acts as +agent for all the bankrupt landlords in Kerry. An English-Irish landlord +is an alien in heart, a despot by instinct, an absentee by inclination; +and all the foul confederacy of landlordism in Kerry is always in direct +opposition to the cause of Ireland.' + +There is a copious mendacity about that effusion which makes me think +the real mission of the writer should have been to become an Irish +Member of Parliament. His powers of misrepresentation would have raised +him to an eminence among obstructionists. + +After all, scurrilous denunciation never affected me. His life by Sir +Wemyss Reid reveals how Mr. W.E. Forster flinched under the vituperation +levelled at his head. But he was not an Irishman, least of all a Kerry +man, and so he never felt the fun of the fray, the grim earnest of the +fight which made me set my teeth and give as good as I received. Indeed, +I'll take my oath no man had the better of me, either in bandying words +or yet in acts, so long as they were open and above-board, but it has +always been the way of sedition and conspiracy to hit below the belt. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +MURDER, OUTRAGE AND CRIME + + +Once launched upon memories of those horrible perpetrations by so-called +Christians, which disgraced alike my native country and all Christendom +(because the criminals nominally worshipped the same God, and professed +reverence to Him), I could enumerate instances until I had filled a +volume. + +You know how the Ghost told Hamlet that he could a tale unfold, whose +lightest word would harrow up his soul. Why, I could tell five score, +and still not have exhausted the roll of crime. + +As my experience is mainly connected with Kerry, it is +characteristically Irish for me to start with an example from County +Cork. The outrage was on the Rathcole estate of Sir George Colthurst. +The rental was L1500, and the landlord had expended L10,000 on +improvements, so that it was not to be wondered that the labourers +should meet to celebrate their employer's marriage. + +Nor to any one knowing Ireland was it surprising that the Land League +should have despatched one of their well-armed bands to fire on them for +so doing. + +This was apparently a challenge to Kerry not to be outdone in barbarity +by Cork, her neighbour and rival. + +Kerry was quite equal to current demands on her inhumanity. + +A labourer of the M'Gillycuddys was visited by another Land League +detachment and had his ear, _a la_ Bulgaria, cut clean off to the bone, +because he worked on a farm from which a tenant had been evicted. + +The next night a small Protestant farmer near Tralee found his best cow +tortured and killed because he had sold milk to the police. + +On the same night a farmer's house was sacked because he had bought some +'boycotted' hay. + +Still on the same night, at Millstreet, another Land League gang +attacked a house, one of the Land League police being killed, and one of +the Crown police wounded. + +In fact, all law save Land League law was for a time at an end in +Munster. + +At one Kerry Assize, a criminal caught by four policemen in the very act +of breaking into a house, was acquitted, and at the Cork Assize the +Crown Prosecutor, after half a dozen acquittals, announced he would not +continue the farce of putting criminals on their trial. + +I mentioned boycotting just now, but I am tempted to pause, because a +new generation that knows not Parnellism, nor the extent of crime in +that unhappy period, may not be aware of the origin of the term. + +Captain Boycott was agent for Lord Erne's Mayo estates, and laid out the +whole of his capital L6000, in improving and stocking his own property. +Because, in the course of his duty, he served some ejectment notices, he +was denounced by the Land League, his farm servants were terrorised into +leaving his employment, and when he imported fifty labourers from the +north of Ireland to save his crops, the Government had to despatch a +small army corps of troops and constabulary to protect them. So great +was the power of the League, that even in Dublin the landlord of a hotel +declined to let him stop more than twenty-four hours in the house, as he +was threatened if he ventured to harbour him. For the protection of his +life and no more, the unfortunate gentleman had to leave the country. + +Baron Dowse said in charging the Grand Jury of the Connaught Western +Assize, that this case had 'excited the wonder and amazement of a great +part of the United Kingdom and the sorrow of a considerable portion of +Ireland.' Very soon the name of Boycott was given to the approved method +of actively sending a man to Coventry, or threatening his life and +property as well as refusing to permit him to be supplied with even the +bare necessities of existence. + +Baron Dowse, a man who had no fear of unmanly criminals, justly styled +this a reign of terror. + +Kerry is divided into six Poor Law Unions, three of them--Kenmare, +Cahirciveen and Dingle--are very poor districts; but there was +practically not an outrage in them. Killarney, Tralee and Listowel are +rich by comparison, Tralee being the richest of the three, and +Castleisland the wealthiest portion of the district. There were nearly +as many outrages there as in the whole of the rest of the country, which +shows that poverty was not the cause. + +I was in and out of Castleisland, but though I had a sheaf of +threatening letters, I never met with any insults or received a threat +to my face. + +Only once did I overhear any hostile mutterings. This was when I was +driving out of Tralee, and my coachman stopped to give a message in the +dusk at a house on the outskirts of the town. + +Suddenly two or three men came up, and one said:-- + +'Now's the time to settle old Hussey.' + +Old Hussey--to use their accurate nomenclature--popped his head out of +the window, and also his right hand which held a most serviceable +revolver and invited them to come on. + +They did not. In fact they scattered with a rapidity which proved they +had not imbibed enough whisky to affect their legs or give them courage. + +This will show that my business--to collect what was due to the +landlords I represented--was not always agreeable work or always easy. +But my duty was to get in rents, and so I got them, whenever I could. + +The tenants did not all pay direct, for many were far too frightened. +Quite a number, even of the Roman Catholics, used to send the money +through the Protestant clergy. + +How they settled this in the confessional I do not know, possibly it was +a trifle they did not consider worth troubling the priest with. + +Three tenants on Lord Kenmare's estate came into my office on one +occasion, and said they would like to pay their rent, but were afraid of +the Land League. + +I treated their fears as arrant nonsense, but told them to come and +argue it out with me in my own room. + +So soon as they could not be seen by any one they paid up. + +Within a few days an armed party went to their houses and shot the three +in their legs. + +One man's life was despaired of for some time, but finally they all +recovered. + +This outrage was a rather late one, because the Land League latterly +decided to shoot objectionable characters only in the legs, because +though a fuss was made at the time, if a man was killed it was soon +forgotten afterwards, whereas a lame man was a lifelong testimony to +their power. + +There is a man hobbling about Castleisland to this day, who was peppered +in this comparatively humanitarian way. I am quite sure he would say +such a comparison had proved odious. + +Judge Barry very truly said that a thatched cabin on a mountain-side was +not much of a place of defence, and if the tenant was supposed to have +paid his rent, he would be told to run out with probably three men +standing at the door to shoot him. That was terrorism as inculcated by +the so-called friends of Ireland. + +Mr. Forster in his plucky speech to the crowd at Tullamore, said:-- + +'I went when I was at Tulla to the workhouse, and there saw a poor +fellow lying in bed, the doctors around him, with a blue light over his +face that made me feel that the doctors were not right, when they told +me he might get over it. I felt sure that he must die, and I see this +morning that he has died. But why did that man die? He was a poor lone +farmer. I believe he had paid his rent--I believe he had committed that +crime. He thought it his duty to pay. Fifteen or sixteen men broke into +his house in the middle of the night, pulled him out of his bed and told +him they would punish him. He himself, lying in his death agony as it +were, told me the story. He said, "My wife went down on her knees and +said, 'Here are five helpless children, will you kill their father?'" +They took him out, they discharged a gun filled with shot into his leg, +so closely that they shattered his leg.' + +Now there were dozens of instances of that kind of thing in Kerry. + +Mr. Parnell started the whole vile crusade, when at Ennis he gave the +advice to shun any man who had bid for a farm from which a tenant had +been evicted. + +'Shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.' + +His words were implicitly obeyed, and outrage followed mere boycotting +till the rapid succession of crimes prevented each one having its full +effect in horrifying civilised Europe. + +A very bad case occurred in Millstreet. + +Jeremiah Haggerty was a large farmer and shopkeeper. There was no +objection to him, except that he declined to join the Land League, for +which his shop was boycotted, which he told me meant the loss of a +thousand a year to him, but the League failed to boycott his farm, +because he was too good an employer. + +He was fired at coming into Millstreet, and the outrage had been so +openly planned, that it was talked of on the preceding evening in every +whisky store. + +On another occasion he was leaving Millstreet station, about a mile from +the town, and when about twenty yards from the station he was fired at +and forty grains of shot lodged in the back of his head, neck, and body. +As it was twilight, a railway porter obligingly held up his lantern to +give the miscreants a better view of their victim. + +He was a man of most honourable and upright character, who had worked +his way up, and he has now regained his popularity. He started as a +clerk in quite a small way, and must now be worth a very large sum of +money. I was instrumental in getting him made a magistrate, and I have +the greatest respect for him. + +I regard this as a decidedly serious example, because of the popularity +of the victim, and also because he had offended no one by word or deed. +Still, there were, of course, many instances which were even more +outrageous. + +A farmer, name of Brown, was shot at Castleisland. Two men were arrested +for the murder, and were twice tried before Cork juries. The first +disagreed, but the second found them guilty. + +A subscription was made up for the families of the two murderers, to +which contributions were made by the leading shopkeepers of several +neighbouring towns. For several years afterwards, Mrs. Brown could not +get a man to dig her potatoes, nor a woman to milk her cows, although +she had tendered no evidence at the trial, and it was clearly proved +that Brown had given no cause of offence. + +But, as a Land Leaguer said to me, it was suspected that he might be in +a position to do so. + +Red Indians, or any other barbarians you can think of, would not have +been guilty of wreaking vengeance on the widow of an innocent murdered +man, nor of endowing the wives of his assassins. + +Here is another murder story. + +A caretaker on an evicted farm on the property of Lord Cork, near +Kanturk, was murdered for taking charge of it. + +The evicted tenant had owed eleven years' rent. + +Lord Cork had agreed to accept one year's rent in full acquittal, and so +good a landlord was he, that the neighbours of the debtor offered to +make up the amount to that sum. + +The tenant firmly declined to pay, because he said another year would +bring him within the statute of limitations. + +So then he had to be evicted. + +Two men were clearly identified as having perpetrated the unprovoked +crime of assassinating the temporary occupant of the property, and were +arrested. + +The Gladstonian Attorney-General, in order to curry popularity, declined +to challenge the jury, when the first man was put on his trial. +Consequently three cousins of the prisoner were impanelled, the jury +disagreed, and the wretch bolted to America that same night. + +The second man, though less guilty, was duly tried before a challenged +jury, and not only sentenced but hanged. + +He was the organiser of outrages for Cork, and his brother held the +similar delectable office for Kerry. A good deal of the impunity with +which crime was committed was due to the change in the jury laws, by +which so low a class of man was summoned into the box, that criminals +began to consider conviction impossible. To my mind it was quite worth +the consideration of the Cabinet of the time, whether trial by jury +ought not to be abolished in Ireland--indeed, even to-day, I can see few +reasons for its retention and many for its abolition. + +Anyhow in the bad times I am now dealing with, to send persons for trial +before a jury was but to advertise the weakness of the law. + +Two men at Tralee were suspected of having paid their rent to me, and in +spite of their assurances that they were quite innocent and had not paid +a farthing for two years, it was necessary for the police to escort them +after nightfall to their homes about four miles away, and to advise them +not to venture into the town for a long while after. + +One of the worst features, however, of all this terrible period was that +helpless girls and women were victims as well as men, I know of a case +where some ruffians entered the house of a family at night, went into +the bedroom of one of the girls, seized her violently, forced her on her +knees, and held her in that position while one of the gang cut off her +hair with shears, and then poured a quantity of hot tar on her head +before entering the bedroom of her sister to do the same. + +A similar fate befell two girls named Murphy merely because they were +suspected of speaking to a policeman. + +A man named Finlay was boycotted and then shot dead, and the neighbours +jeered and laughed at his wife, when in her agony she was wringing her +hands in grief. + +The poor woman went into the street and knelt down crying:-- + +'The curse of God rest upon Father ---- for being the cause of my +husband's murder.' + +The priest had denounced him from the altar on the previous Sunday. + +'Carding' has always been a favourite Irish form of physically +insinuating to a man that he is not exactly popular. It consists of a +wooden board with nails in it being drawn down the naked flesh of a +man's face and body. This foul torture was often heard of, and it has +been whispered that women and even girls have been the victims of this +atrocity. + +The merciful man is proverbially merciful to his beast, and those who +showed mercy to neither man nor woman had none on the dumb animals owned +by their victims. + +A valuable Spanish ass belonging to Mr. M'Cowan of Tralee was saturated +with paraffin, set on fire, and horribly burned. + +A farmer named Lambert found the shoulder of a heifer had been smashed +by some blunt instrument like a hammer. I myself had a couple of cows +killed and salted. + +Indeed cattle outrages became incidents of nightly occurrence. Tenants +in all disturbed counties, besides having their houses burnt, saw their +cattle so horribly mutilated that the poor dumb creatures had to be +killed to put them out of their misery. The Society for the Prevention +of Cruelty to Animals would have no chance of obtaining general support +among the lower classes in Kerry, where beasts belonging to your enemy +are simply regarded as so many goods and chattels, to be as badly +damaged as possible. + +It is a curious thing that the Irish and the Italian are the two most +poetic and most sensitive races of Europe, and also are the two which +exhibit the greatest indifference to the sufferings of dumb animals. + +The distress in Kerry, of course, in the winter of 1879 had been as +great as in the more famous famine, and I have heard the theory advanced +in a London drawing-room that physical suffering renders uneducated +people indifferent to any torture endured by animals. Personally, I +should have thought a fellow feeling made us wondrous kind. + +Reverting to matters with which I had more personal connection, an +interesting episode occurred in June 1881, when The O'Donoghue moved the +adjournment of the House of Commons to force a debate upon the subject +of Lord Kenmare's estate, and I wrote a letter in the _Times_ in reply, +from which may be condensed the following facts:-- + +On the Cork estate, from 1878 to 1881, the evictions did not average one +for each year for every two hundred tenants. + +On the Limerick estate for five years there have been no evictions. + +On the Kerry estate, since he succeeded (in 1871), Lord Kenmare has +expended L67,115 on drainage, road-making, and building cottages. The +evictions have been about one in five hundred in every half year. The +abatements, allowances, and expenditure in 1878, '79, '80, and '81, +exclusive of what was spent on the house and demesne, were, L33,645, and +I am under the mark when I say that, altogether, for these years of +distress, Lord Kenmare spent more on his Kerry estates than he received +out of it; yet for this, Land League meetings were held on his estate, +and he was denounced in Parliament. The week that the Land League +compelled Lord Kenmare to discontinue his employment to labourers, the +weekly labour bill was L460. + +There is no need to trouble readers with any further correspondence on a +topic on which no one could answer me except by abuse, which is no +argument; nor will I inflict any of the letters in which Mr. Sexton was +clearly proved in the wrong when he misrepresented the case of Pat +Murphy of Rath. + +As an example of the state of affairs, in Millstreet--a mere +village--there were thirty cases of nocturnal raid in the month of +August 1881, even while it was engaging the attention of Mr. T.O. +Plunkett, R.M., Mr. French, chief of the detective department, two +sub-inspectors, thirty-five constabulary, and fifty men of the 80th +Regiment. + +In the _Daily Telegraph_, with reference to the murder of Gallivan, near +Castleisland, this remark appeared in a leader:-- + +'Horror-stricken humanity demands that an example be speedily made of +the truculent and merciless ruffian who perpetrated this outrage.' + +I quoted this in a letter the editor published, adding:-- + +'A few weeks after that occasion an old man named Flynn was shot within +two miles of the place, because he paid his rent. His leg has since been +amputated.' + +Then I gave the following horrible case:-- + +On Sunday night the Land League police went to the house of a man named +Dan Dooling, who lived within a mile of Gallivan's house, and within one +mile of Castleisland, and because he paid his rent on getting a +reduction of thirty per cent., he was taken out and shot in the thigh. +His wife, who was only three days after her confinement, pleaded for +mercy on this account, but these lynch law authorities were deaf to the +appeal for mercy, and she did not recover the shock of the entry of +these 'moonlight' Thugs. This man could have identified his assailants, +but he did not dare. + +A good fellow called M'Auliffe, whose arm was shot off, could have done +the same. The poor chap could be seen walking about with one arm, +deprived of the means of earning his bread, and no doubt moralising over +the state of the law, which would compensate him for the loss of his +cow, if he had one, but gave him nothing for the loss of his arm. + +On Friday, November 18, 1881, two tenants, named Cronin and one O'Keefe, +holding land from Lord Kenmare, came into my office in Killarney. + +O'Keefe, an old man of seventy, was the spokesman, and said:-- + +'If you plase, sorr, we have the rint in our pocket, and would be glad +to pay it if it were not for the fear that we have of being shot.' + +To my lasting regret, I replied:-- + +'There is no danger. You must pay.' + +They did, and on the Sunday week following, a band of marauders, headed +by fife and drum, went to the houses of these men, and shot them in the +presence of their families. All the flesh on the lower part of O'Keefe's +legs was shot away, one of the Cronins was shot in the knee, but the +other in the body. + +Everybody in the neighbourhood knew the perpetrators of this ghastly +outrage, but said:-- + +'What use would there be in our telling, as the jury would acquit them, +and we should be shot?' + +Then came this announcement, which caused great excitement in +Killarney:-- + +'In consequence of the difficulty of getting his rents, the Earl of +Kenmare has decided to leave the country for the present. All the +labourers employed on the estate are discharged, as well as some of the +gamekeepers.' + +My own opinion was that he showed great wisdom in abandoning the +ungrateful locality where only man, debased by the Land League, was +vile. + +Outside my own folk, I found the people stiffer and less affable than +formerly; but at no time had I any difficulty in obtaining or keeping +domestic servants, though my wife got the majority from the +neighbourhood of Edenburn. + +I used to sit, on and off, on the bench as regularly as most of the +other magistrates, whenever, indeed, my business permitted me to do so, +and to my face no one ventured to abuse me. + +Quite late in the bad times when I wanted a decree of ejectment against +a fellow, the chairman, desiring to make peace, explained that his +hesitation was entirely on my account, to save me from danger. + +I replied that I had not quailed all those years, and I was too old to +begin; so I had my decree, and that fellow's threats were as +contemptuously treated as all the rest. + +The Bank had a decree against a tenant of mine, and, having sold him +out, entered into possession and put in a caretaker. + +He was in occupation about eight hours, when he grew so frightened that +he ran away. The tenant then went back into possession as a caretaker, +whom nobody dared dislodge, and he promptly went to the Tralee Board of +Guardians to obtain a pound a week as an evicted tenant. + +At that time two-thirds of the poor-rate was paid by the landlord. When +the tenancy was over L4 a year, they had to allow each tenant half the +rate he paid; when it was under this sum, they had to pay the whole of +it, and, of course, all the rates for land in their own occupation. + +Thus the Board of Guardians were utilising the money of the landlords in +order to remunerate the men who were robbing them of their property. + +If a tenant--who generally had some money--was evicted, a notice was +served on the relieving officer to provide him with a conveyance, in +which he was taken to the poorhouse; but if a farmer evicted a +labourer--who had, perhaps, nothing but the suit of clothes in which he +stood up--he was allowed to walk to the poorhouse as best he might, and, +when he got there, he obtained no special relief. + +It is true that the passing of the Habeas Corpus Suspension Act offered +another opportunity to the Government for striking a severe blow, but it +was frittered away, although, before it became law, many of the leaders +of disorder left the country, dreading its provisions. + +Instead, the isolated arrests revealed that the criminals were provided +with special accommodation and superior fare. + +A district officer, asked by Lord Spencer for his views on the Coercion +Act, replied:-- + +'The only coercion I can perceive, your Excellency, is that people +accustomed to live on potatoes and milk are forced to feed on salmon and +wine.' + +The last outrage I intend to mention in this chapter was a very +remarkable one. + +There was a contest for the chairmanship of the Tralee Board of +Guardians. The Land League put forward a candidate who was at the time +an inmate of Kilmainham gaol. The landlords, who at this earlier stage +still had some power, conceived that the residence of the Home Ruler +would not facilitate his control over the Board, and chose a candidate +whose abode was not only more adjacent, but whose movements were +unfettered. + +The voting was even, until Mr. A.E. Herbert came into the room and gave +his casting vote against the involuntary tenant of the Kilmainham +hostelry. For this he was murdered three days later, and by the crime +they hoped to ensure that on the next occasion the landlords would +abstain from voting at all. + +That murder of Mr. Arthur Herbert on his return from Petty Sessions at +Castleisland was one of the worst, and as an exhibition of infernal +hatred and vengeance it transcended the murders of Lord Mountmorres and +Lord Leitrim. It cannot be denied that Mr. Herbert committed acts of a +harsh and overbearing character. He was a turbulent, headstrong man, +brave to rashness and foolhardiness, and too fond of proclaiming his +contempt for the people by whom he was surrounded. As a magistrate, +sitting at Brosna Petty Sessions, he expressed his regret that he was +not in command of a force when a riot occurred in that village, when he +would have 'skivered the people with buckshot,' language brought under +the notice of the Lord Chancellor and the House of Commons. + +He was the son of a clergyman, and lived at Killeentierna House with his +mother, a venerable old lady over eighty, he being himself forty-five. +His income was estimated at about four hundred a year, and as his +relations with tenantry were not harmonious, he never went out without a +six-chambered revolver in his pocket. Physically he was very +robust--over five feet ten in height, and very corpulent. In his own +neighbourhood he always was known as 'Mr. Arthur.' + +Leaving Castleisland about five in the afternoon, he was accompanied for +about a mile by the head constable, who then turned back. Mr. Herbert +had not proceeded a quarter of a mile further when he was felled by the +assassins. The spot chosen was singularly open, no shelter being visible +for some distance. Several shots were heard by a labourer at work in a +quarry, and when he came up he found Mr. Herbert lying on his face in +the road, quite dead, the earth about him being covered with pools of +blood. The body was almost riddled with shot and bullets. + +That night a further illustration of the vindictive ferocity of the +outrage was given. The lawn in front of Killeentierna was patrolled +regularly by some of the large body of police which at once occupied the +house. On this lawn eleven lambs were grazing. At half-past two these +were seen by the police to be all right. At daybreak the eleven were +found stabbed with pitchforks--nine of them killed outright, and two +wounded to death. This act, as wretched as it was daring, added a new +horror to the crime. + +Mr. Herbert's murder was received with such exuberant delight in Kerry +that my steward said to me:-- + +'You would think, sir, that rent was abolished and the duty taken off +whisky.' + +Constabulary had for a long while to be told off to prevent his grave +being desecrated. + +That is a pretty tough outrage for optimistic philanthropists to +consider when they are addicted to announcing how far our generations +have progressed from barbarism. + +The price of blood in Kerry was not high. For example, the men that +murdered FitzMaurice were paid L5 for the job, and they had never seen +him before. His family had to be under police protection for five years, +and I managed to get L1000 subscribed for them in England, Mr. Froude +taking an enthusiastic and generous interest in a very sad case. The +victim left two daughters, who both married policemen. + +One young and cheery Kerry landlord was very proud, about 1886, at the +price of forty shillings being offered for his life by the Land League, +whereas nearly all the others were only valued at half a sovereign +apiece. + +As a matter of fact, almost any one could have been shot at Castleisland +if a sovereign were offered, for they cared no more for human life than +for that of a rat. Parnell himself would have been shot by any one of a +couple of dozen fellows willing to earn a dishonest living if a +five-pound note had been locally put upon his head. A patriotic +philanthropist, destitute of the bowels of compassion and of every +dictate of humanity, might have saved a great deal of undeserved +suffering if he had made this donation towards his 'removal'--a pretty +euphemism of Land League coinage. + +Most of that generation are dead, in gaol, or have emigrated. It would +take the deuce of a big sum to tempt any Castleislander to-day to commit +murder, except under provocation, and the same improvement is observable +all over Ireland. I believe a hundred pounds might be put on the head of +the least popular agent or landlord, and he might walk unscathed without +police protection. + +All that has been set forth in this chapter might be regarded as a heavy +indictment of crime and disorder, but I cannot avoid adding one +confirmatory piece of evidence, as eloquent as it is accurate. This is +the fearful description of the state of Kerry which appears in Judge +O'Brien's charge to the Grand Jury at the Assizes, founded, of course, +on the report of outrages submitted to him. It is impossible to guess in +what stronger words his opinions would have been expressed if the total +number of outrages committed had been laid before him; but it is well +known that only a few of those committed were reported, as, if the +criminals were taken up and identified, the victims would be likely to +be shot in revenge, while the guilty persons, tried by a sympathising +jury, would obtain acquittal and popular advertisement. + +The charge was as follows:-- + +'COLONEL CROSBIE AND GENTLEMEN OF THE GRAND JURY OF KERRY--I requested +your permission to defer any observations I was about to make to you, in +order that I might have an opportunity of examining certain returns +which had been made to me containing materials for forming a judgment +upon the state of things in this county of which I was put in possession +upon my arrival, and I was desirous of being afforded an opportunity of +examining these materials to try if I could discern whether, in the +considerable lapse of time that has happened since the last Assizes, I +could see any reason to conclude that an improvement had taken place in +the state of things that has now so long existed in the County of Kerry, +and other counties in the south of Ireland, to try if I could discern +whether lapse of time itself, the weariness of that state of things, if +the law and influences that lead persons to avoid violations of the law, +or to follow the pursuits of industry, had led in the end to any +favourable change in the state of things; but I grieve to say that it is +not in my power, unfortunately, to announce that any change has taken +place. On the contrary, all the means of information that I possess lead +to the unhappy conclusion that there is no improvement, but that, on the +contrary, there exists, even at this moment, a most extraordinary state +of things--a state of things of an unprecedented description--nothing +short, in fact, of a state of open war with all forms of authority, and +even, I may say without exaggeration, with the necessary institutions of +civilised life. + +'These returns present a picture of the County Kerry such as can hardly +be found in any country that has passed the confines of natural society +and entered upon the duties and relations, and acknowledged the +obligations, of civilised life. The law is defeated--perhaps I should +rather say, has ceased to exist! Houses are attacked by night and day, +even the midnight terror yielding to the noonday anxiety of crime! +Person and life are assailed! The terrified inmates are wholly unable to +do anything to protect themselves, and a state of terror and lawlessness +prevails everywhere. Even some persons who possess means of information +that are not open to me, profess to discern in the signs of public +feeling, in the views of some hope and some fear, the expectation of +something about to happen, something reaching far beyond partial, or +local, or even agrarian, disturbance, and calculated to create a greater +degree of alarm than anything we have witnessed, or anything that has +happened. + +'When I come to compare the official returns of crime with those of the +preceding period, I find that the total number of offences in this +county since the last Assizes is somewhat less in number, even +considerably less in number, than in the corresponding or the preceding +period of the former years. But the diminution of number affords no +assurance or ground of improvement at all, because I find that the +diminution is accounted for entirely in the class of offences that +acknowledges to some extent the power and influence of the law, namely, +in threatening letters and notices, while the amount of open and actual +crime is greater than it was in the former period, showing that there is +an increased confidence in impunity, and that menace has given place to +the deed. Within not more than ten days from the time that I am now +speaking, not less than four examples of midnight invasion of houses in +this county have occurred, accompanied with all the usual incidents of +disguises and arms, and the firing of shots, and violence threatened or +committed; in one instance the outrage having been committed upon the +residence of a magistrate of this county, a man living with his family +in his home, in the supposed delusive security of domestic life, of law, +and respect for social station; and in another instance committed upon a +humble man, and encountered, I am glad to say, in that instance, with a +brave resistance, giving an example of courage which, if it were widely +imitated, many of the evils that this country suffers from would no +longer exist. + +'I need not dwell upon the most aggravated instance of all which this +calendar of crime presents--one that is quite recent, and within the +memory of you all--the murder of Cornelius Murphy, a humble man, but one +enjoying apparently the confidence and respect of all his neighbours, +who had done no harm to any person, who was not conscious of any +offence, whose house was invaded at a still early hour of the evening, +and before the daylight had departed, by a band of men that is shown to +have traversed a considerable distance of country, giving opportunities +of recognition to many, and with hardly the pretext of an offence on his +part, and in reality with the object of private plunder or private +hostility--one of those motives that always take advantage of a state of +disturbance in order to gratify private ends--slain in his own house in +the presence of his own family. Certain persons, it would appear, have +been arrested on a charge of complicity with this crime, and it may be +that this cruel and wicked crime may be the means of discovering other +crimes, and of leading in the end to the detection, if not to the +conviction, of persons who have been connected in them, and those who +rest in the supposed confidence of impunity may find the spell broken, +may find the light of information to reach them, and may find in the end +that the law will be able to prevail; because it must be in the +experience of many of you that it is unhappily in the power of a few +persons who engage in this system of nightly invasion of houses to +multiply themselves, apparently by means of terror and intimidation, +although at the same time there can be no doubt that, on account of +interval of distances, and for many such reasons, there must be many +such combinations in this country, acting entirely independent of each +other. + +'No person can be at a loss to understand the misery and suffering that +arises from a state of crime; but perhaps all persons in the community +do not equally understand one form of consequence to material prosperity +that results from it. I have before me a document that contains most +terribly significant evidence of mischief, alike to all classes of the +community, that results from crime and a state of social disturbance. I +have a return of malicious injuries which form the subject of +presentment at these Assizes, in number, I understand, exceeding all +former precedent. There are no less than eighty-six presentments, +representing all forms of wicked outrage upon property, a tempest--I +might say without exaggeration, a tempest--of violence and crime that +has swept over a considerable portion of this county. The claims amount +to L2700, with the result that the Grand Jury had presented upon a +certain part of this county L1250, exercising apparently the greatest +care and discrimination in reducing the amount of the claims, and this +L1250 was not put upon the whole county, but on certain parts of the +county, and the amount at the very least aggravated in a most serious +degree the weight of taxation that falls upon the ratepayers of the +County Kerry, deepening the difficulties that all classes alike must +experience from the depression of the times, and from the other burdens +they have to meet in providing against the demands that are made upon +them. + +'But, of course, you can easily understand that these things do not at +all give you any idea of other forms of material injury that arise from +crime and disturbance, in the loss of employment and the discouragement +of capital, the injury to trade, and the multiplied consequences of all +kinds detrimental to the community that arise from insecurity to +personal property and life. And to all those evils we have to add +another, and perhaps the worst of all--that of which you are all +conscious, of which experience and observation reaches you every day in +all the forms of social life--a system of unseen terrorism, a system of +terror and tyranny that the well-disposed class of the community ought +to detest and abhor, and in reference to which, on all sides, I have +heard, in this county and other counties, one universal expression of +desire--that some means should be found to put an end to it. + +'I possess no power myself to effect this state of things, and I cannot +say that in the relation to the law which you fill as members of the +Grand Jury, or in any other relation to the law, you possess the means +to effect it. The duty of providing against so great an evil existing in +the community--the duty and the obligation rests with others. My duty is +simply confined to representing to you the state of things that exists, +and, indeed, in that respect I know that I am doing what is entirely +unnecessary, for the state of the County Kerry now, and for a period of +five or six years, in all its essential features, is known far beyond +the limits of the county, to every single person in the country. I will +merely make use of one general observation--that I by no means share in +the opinion that has been expressed as to the inability to deal with +this state of things. On the contrary, I entertain the most perfect +confidence that it is in the power of those who are intrusted with the +duty of maintaining the public peace to re-establish order and law and +peace in this county. And as my duty is confined to representing that +state of things, that duty does not carry me to indicate to those on +whom the responsibility rests the means to attain that object.' + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +THE EDENBURN OUTRAGE + + +In the early part of the winter of 1884, so bad did the state of Kerry +become, and so menacing was the attitude of the Land Leaguers towards +myself, that I felt I had no right to endanger the lives of my wife and +daughters by any longer permitting them to reside at Edenburn. + +In all those years, from 1878 to 1884, be it noted that I gave more +employment in Kerry than any one man, a fact which has been testified to +by different parish priests, but at the same time I was agent for a +great many landlords, and tried my level best to get in rents for my +employers. + +For this cause my life had been repeatedly threatened, and now, in +November 1884, dynamite was put to my house, the back of it being badly +blown up. There were sixteen individuals in the house, mostly women and +children, and an attempt was therefore made to murder them all in the +effort to take the life of one individual they were afraid to meet in +the open. + +The house was repaired and I received compensation in due course from +the County, but my family did not think after what had occurred that +Edenburn was a desirable place of residence. So I henceforth resided +much in London, and therefore spent a great deal less money in Kerry. + +Perhaps, however, I had better be a little more diffuse about what was +known all over the British Isles as the Edenburn Outrage, but the bulk +of this chapter will be drawn from observations by members of my family +and newspaper accounts, for the episode left considerably less +impression on my mind than it did on that of my womenfolk, and indeed on +the public, at the time. + +To show how matters stood, one of my daughters reminds me that I gave +her a very neat revolver as a present, and that whenever she came back +from school she always slept with it under her pillow. Moreover, she +recollects that the customary Sunday afternoon pursuit was to have +revolver practice at the garden gate. + +There had been several episodes of an ugly nature; for example, one of +my sons competing in some sports at Tralee was advised to make an excuse +and to go home separately from the womenfolk. + +He took the hint, and my wife with the governess and several children +went back without him in the waggonette. About a mile and a half from +the town, just where the horses had to walk up a steep hill, a number of +men with bludgeons and sticks came out of a ditch, peered into the trap, +and seeing it contained nothing but women and children let it pass on +with a grunt of disgust, whilst they trudged back to Tralee. + +One of my daughters, years after, on being taken in to dinner in London, +was asked by her companion if she was any relation of mine. + +She having confessed the fact--one I hope in no way detrimental, though +I say so, perhaps, who should not--he mentioned that he had been to a +most cheery dance at Edenburn, which had made a great impression on his +mind, because for seven miles along the road by which he and his friends +drove there were pickets of constabulary, and the hall table was piled +so full with the revolvers brought by the guests, that all the hats and +coats had to be taken to the smoking-room. + +It may be as well to again mention that my wife during the very worst +periods had never any difficulty in keeping or obtaining domestic +servants. No doubt the maids liked having two or three stalwart +constables always hanging about the place, and capital odd job men they +made. + +A constable neatly humbugged a footman, and I may here mention the +incident, though it is subsequent to the episode of this chapter. + +One house we took in London was in Glendower Place, and when the +servants arrived, my wife found that the footman's face was covered with +sticking-plaster. He was a regular gossoon, though shaped like a fine +specimen of the pampered menials who condescend to open the front door +of large mansions to their betters. + +A constable had hoaxed him into believing that he could never walk in +the London streets without using firearms, and having advised him to +learn to do so, the idiot put the weapon against his cheek, and the +first kick had knocked away a voluminous portion of his countenance. + +At the end of November 1884, we were packing up to leave, and all the +big cases were in the stable-yard ready to be carted away. There were +five policemen at the time in the house, and two of them were on sentry +duty all through the night. + +None of us had had good nights for some time past, but on the evening of +November 29th I came back from the meeting of the Board of Guardians at +Listowel, and said to my wife as we sat down to dinner:-- + +'After all, we are starting for England to-morrow morning without any +necessity, for I do believe the country is beginning to settle down.' + +This is the only occasion on which I ever ventured on a cheerful +prophecy since Ireland came under the baneful spell of Mr. Gladstone, +and it was the most foolish remark I ever made. + +That night came the explosion, but I prefer to let the press tell the +tale. + +The _Manchester Guardian_ relates:-- + +'The explosive matter was placed under an area in the basement story, +dynamite being the agent employed for the outrage. A large aperture was +made in the wall, which is three feet thick. Several large rents running +to the top have been made, and it now presents a most dilapidated +appearance. The ground-floor, where the explosion occurred, was used as +a larder, and everything in it was smashed to pieces, the glass +window-frames and shutters being shivered into atoms. On the three +stories above it, the explosion produced a similar effect. To the right +of it, one of Mr. Hussey's daughters was sleeping, and the window of her +room was entirely destroyed. Mr. J.E. Hussey, J.P., slept in another +room about thirty feet from the scene of the explosion, and his window +and room fared similarly. The butler slept in a small room on the +basement, which was completely wrecked, the windows being shattered to +pieces, the lamp and toilet broken, and the greater part of the ceiling +thrown on him in the bed. The length of the house is about fifty yards, +and the windows in the back, numbering twenty-six, have been altogether +destroyed. Mr. S.M. Hussey and his wife slept in the front, and they +were much affected by the explosion. Three policemen who had been +stationed in the house for the past couple of years slept on a +ground-floor in front. The coach-house and stables near the house were +considerably damaged. In the garden two greenhouses, one about 120 yards +away, and the other fully 150, were injured, the greater portion of the +glass being broken and the roofs shaken. In several houses at long +distances the shock was plainly felt. The dwelling-house subsequently +presented a very wrecked appearance. On looking at the back of it, there +are several rents or cracks to be seen in the solid masonry, and the +slates are shaken and displaced. Everything shows the terrific force of +the explosion. In the yard a large slate-house was much damaged, the +slates being displaced and the roof shaken and cracked. A large stone +was found here, having been blown from the dwelling-house.' + +From the _Times_ may be culled these additional particulars: + +'There is a fissure some inches wide in the main wall from the ground to +the roof, and a little more force would have effected the evident object +of making the residence of the obnoxious agent a heap of ruins. The +damage done is estimated at from L2000 to L3000, but this is only a +rough conjecture.' + +The _Cork Constitutional_ throws further light in a somewhat badly +expressed article:-- + +'The most extraordinary circumstance connected with the outrage is the +secrecy and stealth which must have been resorted to in order to avoid +detection. It was well known in the neighbourhood that not alone were +three policemen constantly at Edenburn for Mr. Hussey's protection, but +that a number of dogs were also kept on the premises, and it is, +therefore, astonishing the care and caution which must have been +resorted to in order to successfully lay and explode the destructive +material. Some idea of the force of the explosion as well as the +stability of the building which resisted it in a measure, may be +gathered from the fact that it was distinctly heard in the town of +Castleisland four miles away. Mr. R. Roche, J.P., who lives a mile from +Edenburn, also distinctly heard the explosion, which he describes as +resembling in sound that caused by the fall of a huge tree in close +proximity. Those who were at Edenburn at the time state that between +four and half-past four a low rumbling noise, followed by a sharp +report, was heard. The house trembled and shook to its foundations. The +inmates, some of whom were only awakened by the shock, were seized with +an indescribable terror. All the windows were smashed to atoms, the +furniture and fixtures in the interior were rattled, and some lighter +articles disturbed from their position. The suddenness of the alarm, and +the darkness of the night, coupled with an indefinite idea as to the +nature and extent of the explosion, made the occupants of the house +afraid to stir, and it was not until some servants living adjacent +arrived that the consternation caused in the household subsided +sufficiently to enable them to examine the house, and judge of the +narrow escape they had had from a violent and horrible death.' + +The consternation most decidedly did not spread to the master and +mistress of the establishment. The _Kerry Sentinel_ quickly had an +allusion to 'a report that Mr. Hussey turned into bed after the outrage +with one of his laconic jokes--that he should be called when the next +explosion occurred.' + +As a matter of fact what I did say was:-"My dear, we can have a quiet +night at last, for the scoundrels won't bother us again before +breakfast." + +And I can solemnly testify that within ten minutes of that observation I +was fast asleep, and never woke till I was called. + +But perhaps the best impression of what occurred can be obtained from +the recollection of my daughter Florence, now Mrs. Nicoll, who was an +inmate of Edenburn at the time. + +'I was awakened by a terrific noise, which to my sleepy wits conveyed +the impression that the roof had fallen in. It was then between three +and four in the morning. I lit a candle and ran out into the passage +where were congregating my family in night attire. My father was +perfectly calm. + +'"Dynamite and badly managed," was his laconic explanation. We all asked +each other if we were hurt, and began to be alarmed about my brother +John, who, however, put in an appearance in a singularly attenuated +nightshirt, with a candle in one hand and a revolver in the other, with +which he was rubbing his sleepy eyes. + +'"Singular time of night, John, to try chemical experiments without our +permission, is it not?" said my father. + +'Then John and my mother went downstairs to inspect the premises; of the +back windows, thirty-four in number, there was not a bit of glass as big +as a threepenny piece left. Our brougham was in the yard; the window +next the explosion was intact, but the one on the further side was blown +to smithereens. + +'The servants were very scared, and one maid having rushed straight to a +sitting-room, was there found hysterically embracing a sofa cushion. + +'We received one odd claim for compensation. An old woman living half a +mile off complained that the force of the explosion had knocked some of +the plaster off the wall, and that it had fallen into a pan full of +milk, spoiling it. + +'Whilst we were all chattering about the outrage, father said:-- + +'"Don't be uneasy about a mere dynamite explosion; it's like an +Irishman's pig, you want it to go one way and it invariably goes in the +other." + +'And with that he went off to bed again, with the remark about having a +quiet night which he has mentioned earlier in this chapter. + +'The only other thing which I now recall is, that a detachment of the +Buffs in the neighbourhood had found us the only people to entertain +them. + +'On being told that Edenburn had been blown up, one of them said:-- + +'"They were the only neighbours we had to talk to, and the brutes would +not leave us them as a convenience."' + +The Cork correspondent of the _Times_ wrote:-- + +'Among the general body of the people of Kerry, the news of the attempt +to blow up Mr. Hussey's house at Edenburn caused comparatively little +excitement. In the County Club at Tralee, the announcement was received +with something like a panic. Hitherto, persons who considered themselves +in danger were careful to be within their homes before darkness had set +in, and when going abroad had a following of police for their +protection. Now it is shown that their houses may prove but a sorry +shelter, even when a protective force of police is about, and it is no +wonder that, with the terrible example furnished in this instance of the +daring of those who commit foul crimes, the class against whom the +outrages are directed should be filled with fears for the future. The +people generally show but small interest in the occurrence. + +'The attempt to blow up Mr. Hussey's dwelling is the first of its kind +in Kerry, and the third that has been made in Ireland. Within the past +few years the districts of Castleisland and Tralee have been +distinguished for the number and ferocity of the outrages that were +committed there.' + +I am also tempted to quote from the 'Leader' in the _Times_ on the +outrage:-- + +'Mr. Hussey has a reputation, not confined to Ireland, as an able, +fearless, and vigorous land agent, the best type of a much abused class +of men who have endured contumely and faced dangers, by day and night, +in order to protect the rights of property intrusted to them. + +'It appears that, owing to the disturbed state of the locality, he +intended to leave it for the winter; and this probably being known to +his enemies, they made an effort to destroy him before he got beyond +their reach. He, at all events, seems to have been under the spell of no +pleasing illusion as to the supposed tranquillity and the reign of +order. On the contrary, he is alleged to have stated that more outrages +than ever are committed, and that but for the deterrent force employed +by the Government, there would be no living in the country, ... This is +the opinion of the majority of Englishmen. They are not all satisfied +that the spirit of lawlessness and disorder is rooted out; and they will +find only too strong confirmation of their doubts in the reckless +violence of the National Press, and in the attempt--marked by novel +features of atrocity--to destroy Mr. Hussey's household.' + +As for the National Press, it indulged in an ecstasy of enthusiasm over +the perpetration, combined with intense disgust "at the miscarriage of +justice" of my having escaped without hurt or more than very temporary +inconvenience. On my departure, one eloquent writer compared me to +'Macduff taking his babes and bandboxes to England,' a choice simile I +have always appreciated. + +The _United Ireland_ of December 6, 1884, in a characteristic +leaderette, headed 'A very suspicious affair,' observes:-- + +'We should like to know by what right the newspapers speak of the affair +as "a dynamite outrage"? A very curious surmise has been put forward +locally, namely, that the house had been stricken by lightning. The +shattering of a building by lightning is by no means phenomenal, and the +absence of all trace of any terrestrial explosive agency, gives colour +to the hypothesis that the destruction was due to meteorological +causes.' + +With one last quotation I cease to draw upon what may be termed outside +contributions, and it is one which gratified me at the time. + +It is taken from the _Cork Examiner_ of December 12, 1884:-- + +'Dear Sir,--Authoritative statements having been made in the Press and +elsewhere, that some persons living in Mr. Hussey's immediate +neighbourhood must have been the perpetrators of the horrible outrage, +or, at least, must have given active and guilty assistance to the +principal parties concerned in it; now we, the undersigned, tenants on +the property, and living in the closest proximity to Edenburn House and +demesne, take this opportunity of declaring in the most public and +solemn manner that neither directly nor indirectly, by word or deed, by +counsel or approval, had we any participation in the tragic disaster of +November 28. The relations hitherto existing between Mr. Hussey and us +have ever been of the most friendly character. As a landlord, his +dealings with us were such as gave unqualified satisfaction and were +marked by justice, impartiality, and very great indulgence. As a +neighbour he was extremely kind and obliging, ready whenever applied to, +to help us, as far as he was able, in every difficulty or trial in which +we might be placed. The bare suspicion, therefore, of being ever so +remotely connected with the recent explosion, is, to us, a source of the +deepest pain, a suspicion we repudiate with honest indignation. +Furthermore, the singular charity, benevolence, and amiability of Mrs. +Hussey are long and intimately known to us. We witness almost daily her +bountiful treatment of the poor, and tender care of the sick and infirm. +Her ears never refuse to listen with sympathy to every tale of distress, +nor will she hesitate with her own hands to wash and dress the festering +wounds and sores of those who flock to her from all the surrounding +parishes. With such knowledge as this, we should indeed be worse than +fiends did we raise a hand against the Hussey family, or engage in any +enterprise that would necessitate their departure from among us:-- + + 'Richard Fitzgerald. + Denis Daly. + John Reynolds. + Cornelius Daly. + William Hogan. + Darby Leary. + John Mason. + Jeremiah Dinan. + J. O'connell. + John Neligan. + Daniel Neill. + John Daly. + Thomas Connor. + Jeremiah Connor. + Thomas Shanahen. + Michael Moynihar. + Widow Aherne. + James O'sullivan. + John M'elligott. + Henry Gentleman.' + +As for those really concerned, people tell me that the three implicated +in the dynamite business are all dead in America, and if the information +is accurate no local person was connected with the explosion, though the +miscreants were, of course, housed in the immediate vicinity. + +There was one delicious incident. + +The local branch of the Land League at Castleisland refused to pay any +reward to the dynamiters because we had not been killed, and the leading +miscreant actually fired at the treasurer. Eventually the passages to +America of all the triumvirate were paid, and they thought it discreet +to quit the country, cursing their own stingy executive even more deeply +than they blasphemed against the Law and execrated me. + +A man from the neighbourhood subsequently wrote to me from London that +he could tell me who perpetrated the Edenburn outrage. + +I told him to call on me at the Union Club, of which I was then a +member, and informed him--his name was O'Brien--I would arrange with the +Home Office, in the event of his information being valuable, that he +should get a reward. + +He replied that his life was in danger in London from another Fenian. + +I went to the Home Office and saw Mr. Jenkinson on the subject. He asked +me to send O'Brien down to him and he would settle matters, adding that +he had reason for believing that the story of threats from another +scoundrel was true. + +I saw O'Brien and told him to call on Mr. Jenkinson. + +He answered that he would go, but he never did, and Mr. Jenkinson +subsequently told me that the Land League scented he was going to prove +a troublesome informer, so they practically outbid the Government by +paying O'Brien a large sum, which was handed to him on the steamer as it +was starting for America. + +From that time, until I have been recalling the incidents of the +explosion for this book, I have never given a thought to the affair and +not mentioned it half a dozen times in the twenty years that have +elapsed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MORE ATROCITIES AND LAND CRIMES + + +I brought my family back to Kerry in the following summer, and after I +had rebuilt Edenburn I lived there until I gave it to my elder son, who +has it to this day and resides there in peace. + +Matters were very different to that state of idyllic simplicity in the +critical times on which I am still dwelling. + +One night, while in London, I was at the House of Commons, and the +London correspondent of the _Freeman_, being presumably extremely short +of what he would term 'copy,' he proceeded to make observations about me +after this fashion:-- + +'Over here Mr. Hussey is something of a fish out of water. It would be +hazardous to say that if he was to begin his career as an agent again he +would eschew the system that has made him famous, but his present frame +of mind is unquestionably one of doubt as to whether, after all, the +game was worth the candle.' + +That young man will go far as a writer of fiction. + +I received, among more pleasant welcomes on my return to my native land, +the following delightful blast of vituperation from the _Irish Citizen_, +and beg to tender the unknown author my profound thanks for the +diversion his ink-slinging afforded me:-- + +'Here is something about a man who ought to have been murdered any day +since 1879--indeed we don't know that he should have been let live even +up to that date, and as for his family, their translation to the upper +regions by means of a simple charge of dynamite, which nobody of any +sense or importance would even think of condemning, has been most +unaccountably deferred to the present year. This man is Mr. S.M. Hussey, +the miasma of whose breath, according to a well-informed murder organ in +Dublin, poisons one-half of the kingdom of Kerry. Let any man read the +speeches delivered in Upper Sackville Street, and the articles in +_United Ireland_ against Mr. Hussey, and he must ask why the fiend +incarnate has not been murdered long since. The infamy of persistently +turning hatred on a man like Mr. Hussey, and then escaping the +consequences of having thereby murdered him, has no parallel in any +country in the world. Inciting to murder is practically reduced to a +science in Ireland. That Mr. Hussey has not been murdered years ago is +not the fault of the scientist, but the watchfulness of the police.' + +My experience while in England had been that few people I met really +appreciated what boycotting was like, so how are my readers of twenty +years afterwards to do so? Yet when I went back to Ireland, it seemed to +me even more cruel than when I had grown comparatively accustomed by +sheer proximity to it. + +Mr. Parnell had himself given the order in a public speech:-- + +'Shun the man who bids for a farm from which a tenant has been evicted, +shun him in the street, in the shop, in the marketplace, even in the +place of worship, as if he were a leper of old.' + +This was done with the thoroughness which characterises Irishmen when +back-sliding into unimaginable cruelties. Should a boycotted man enter +chapel, the whole congregation rose as with one accord and left him +alone in the building. Considering the sensitive and pious disposition +of the average Irishman, such ostracism was even more poignant than it +would be to an Englishman. + +Only two families in Kerry, possibly in Munster, at Christmas 1885, had +the courage to resist the National League police, commonly called +moonlighters. These two were the Curtins and the Doyles. The Curtins had +to be under constant police protection, were insulted wherever they +went, and their murdered father was openly called 'the murderer.' As for +the Doyles, the Board of Guardians was urged to harass his unfortunate +children, who were both deaf and dumb. + +The same Board of Guardians was most lavish in its relief to any man +evicted for declining to pay his rent. In one case they gave a man +fifteen shillings a week--or treble the ordinary out-of-door relief--for +over six years. + +Sir James Stephen, a man of acute discriminations, who has done more +justice to the Irish problem than any one else, wrote:-- + +'The great difficulty the Land League and the National League have had +to contend with is that of hindering the neighbouring farmers, peasants, +and labourers from frustrating the strike against rent by taking up +vacant farms, however they came to be vacant. Boycotting never succeeded +unless crime was at its back. The Crimes Act cut the ground from under +the feet of the boycotters, not so much by its direct prohibitions of +the practice as by making it unsafe to commit outrages in enforcing the +law of the League. The Land League and the National League were nothing +else but screens for secret societies whose work was to enforce the +League decrees by outrage and murder.' + +Whenever the 'History of Modern Ireland' comes to be written, that +glowing outburst of truth ought to be quoted. + +There were some evictions carried out at Farranfore on the estate of +Lord Kenmare, by the sub-sheriff, Mr. Harnett, and a force of military +and police numbering about one hundred and thirty. + +During the eviction of one Daly, horns were blown and the chapel bell +set ringing. These appeals drew about three thousand people to the +place, who groaned and threw some stones, besides growing so menacing +that the Riot Act had to be read, upon which the whole crowd moved off. + +This brought a characteristic effusion from _United Ireland_:-- + +'We remember the time when Kerry was a county as quiet as the grave, +when its member, Henry A. Herbert, in the debate on the Westminster Act +of 1871, was able to rise in his place and boast that in purely Celtic +counties like his there was no crime, and that agrarian outrages was +confined to districts infused with English blood, like Meath and +Tipperary. What has changed it? Principally the malpractices of a couple +of agents ruling over half its area, whose bloated rentals grow swollen +under their hands with the sweat of dumb and hopeless possessors.' + +Whatever else he possessed, that writer had not one vestige of truth +with which to cover the indecency of his misrepresentations. + +He did not mention that Mr. Matthew Harris, a Member for Galway, had +publicly observed that if the tenant farmers of Ireland shot down +landlords as partridges are shot in the month of September, he would +never say a word against them. + +It is a fact that the convulsion of horror at the murder of Lord +Frederick Cavendish alone prevented an organised campaign for the +'removal' of Irish landlords on a systematic and wholesale scale. + +By the way, according to his son, it was quite by chance that Professor +Mahaffy--that illustrious ornament of Trinity College--was not also +murdered. He had intended to walk over with poor Mr. Burke after the +entry of the Viceroy and Chief Secretary, but he was detained by an +undergraduate and so found it too late to catch the doomed victim before +he started. Had he walked with them, it is questionable if the murderers +would have attacked three men: on the other hand, he might, of course, +have been added to the slain. + +There was a meeting of Lord Kenmare's and Mr. Herbert of Muckross's +tenants at Killarney addressed by Mr. Sheehan, M.P., who advised them, +as the landlords refused 70 per cent, only to offer 50 per cent., and +nothing at all in March (1887), as by that time the new Irish Parliament +would have allotted the land free to the present holders, without any +compensation to the landlords. + +Despite the efforts of traitors on both sides of the Channel, that Irish +Parliament has not yet been summoned. + +The parish priest, Mr. Sheehy, stopped the Limerick hunting, and so took +L24,000 a year out of the pockets of the very poor. That man did more +harm than the landlords, who alone gave the poor work, and there is no +doubt that many of the worst crimes were instigated and indirectly +suggested from the altar. + +At this point I want to interpose with one word to the reader to beg him +not to regard this as either a connected narrative of crime, much less a +regular essay with proper deductions--the trimmings to the joint--but +only a series of observations as I recall events which impressed me, and +which I think may come home with some force to a happier generation that +knew neither Parnellism nor crime. To write a consecutive and connected +history of these atrocities would be to compile a volume of horrors. I +prefer to give a few recollections of outrages, and to let the direct +simplicity of these terrible reminiscences impress those who have bowels +of compassion. + +A gentleman named Nield was killed in Mayo, simply because he was +mistaken for my son Maurice. This was in broad daylight, in the town of +Charlestown. It was raining hard at the time--a thing so common in +Ireland that no one mentions it any more than they do the fact of the +daily paper appearing each morning--and the unfortunate victim had an +umbrella up, so the mob could not see his face. They shouted, 'Here's +Hussey,' and tried to pull him off the car, but the parish priest +stopped this. However, before he could reduce the villains to the fear +of the Church, which does affect them more than the fear of the Law, +they gave poor Nield a blow on the head, and, though he lived for six +months, he never recovered. + +Another time, when returning to his house in Mayo from Ballyhaunis, on a +dark night, my son Maurice found a wall built, about eighteen inches +high, across the road, for the express purpose of upsetting him. It was +only by the grace of God--as they say in Kerry--and his own careful +driving, that he was preserved. + +In those same Land League times, my son was a prominent gentleman rider. +At Abbeyfeale races he rode in a green jacket and won the race, which +produced a lot of enthusiasm, the crowd not knowing who it was sporting +the popular colour. They only heard it was my son after he had left the +course, whereupon a mob rushed to the station, and the police had to +stand four deep outside the carriage window to protect him, to say +nothing of an extra guard at the station gates. + +The cordiality of my fellow-countrymen also provided me with another +disturbed night at Aghadoe, which I had leased from Lord Headley. + +To quiet the apprehensions of my family, and also to relieve the mind of +the D.I. from anxiety about my tough old self, there were always five +police in the house, and two on sentry duty all night. + +On this particular date, about two o'clock in the morning, we were +aroused by hearing shots fired in the wood below the house, the plan of +the miscreants being to draw the police away from the house. As this did +not succeed, a second party began a counter demonstration in another +quarter. The theory is that a third party wanted to approach the house +from the back in the temporary absence of the constabulary, and +disseminate the house, its contents, and the inhabitants into the air +and the immediate vicinity by the gentle and persuasive influence of +dynamite. + +However, the police were not to be tricked, and soon the fellows, having +grown apprehensive, or having exhausted all their ammunition, were heard +driving _off_. Signs of blood were found on the road towards Beaufort +next morning, so the attacking force suffered some inconvenience in +return for giving us a bad night. + +Lord Morris, among a group of acquaintances in Dublin, pointing to me, +said:-- + +'That's the Jack Snipe who provided winter shooting for the whole of +Kerry, and not one of them could wing him.' + +'Mighty poor sport they got out of it,' I answered, 'and I have an even +worse opinion of their capacity for accurate aiming than I have of their +benevolent intentions.' + +Other people know more of oneself than one does, and I was much +interested to hear that, in this year of grace, the editor of the _Daily +Telegraph_ said of me:-- + +'Sam Hussey, yes, that's the famous Irishman they used to call +"Woodcock" Hussey, because he was never hit, though often shot at.' + +I always thought 'Woodcock' Carden had the monopoly of the epithet, but +am proud to find I infringed his patent. + +I was benevolently commended by a vituperative ink-slinger, Daniel +O'Shea, in his letter to the _Sunday Democrat_ in 1886, but none of +those he blackguarded were in the least inconvenienced by 'the roll of +his tongue,' as the saying is:-- + +'A vast number of the Irish have been heartlessly persecuted by the most +despotic landlords of Ireland, such as Lord Kenmare, Herbert, Headley, +Hussey, Winn, and the Marquis of Lansdowne, all of whom are Englishmen +by birth, and consequently aliens in heart, despots by instinct, +absentees by inclination, and always in direct opposition to the cause +of Ireland. Poor-rate, town-rate, income-tax, are nothing less than +wholesale robbery, and is it any wonder that some of the people who are +thus oppressed should be driven to desperation? It is deplorable to +learn that they should have had any cause to commit what are called +"agrarian" crimes. Why not turn their attention to these landlords, the +police, the travelling coercion magistrates, not forgetting the +emergency men? These are the people to whom I would direct the attention +of the men of Kerry.' + +I have given a number of examples of how I have been genially +appreciated in the hostile Press, but my family are of opinion that it +would not be fair, considering how many kind things were published in +loyal journals, not to render some tribute to them too. I was sincerely +obliged when I received a good word, but, frankly, the bad ones amused +me much more. However, I am not ungrateful, and I have specially prized +one able description of my attitude which appeared in the _Globe_, the +manly strain of the writing of which is in healthy contrast to the +hysterical effusions tainted with adjectival mania of those who wanted +me shot, but were too cowardly to fire at me themselves:-- + +'Mr. Hussey is admittedly fair and just in his dealings with his own +tenants. But he is only just and fair, which, in the ethics of Irish +agrarianism, is equivalent to being a rack-renter and a tyrant. He +refuses to let his own land at whatever the tenants think well to pay +for it. He persists, with exasperating obstinacy, in refusing to +sacrifice the interests of the landlords for whom he acts. In short, Mr. +Hussey is one of the most determined and formidable obstacles to the +success of the Land League. While such men have the courage to face the +agrarian conspiracy, that grand consummation of patriotic effort--the +rooting out of landlordism--must be a somewhat tough and tedious +business. He has lived in the midst of enemies, who would have murdered +him if only they had the opportunity. His life, it may be safely said, +has had no stronger security than his own ability to protect it.' + +And yet some one ventured to call Irish land agents 'popularity-hunting +scoundrels.' + +'Popularity and getting in money were never on the same bush,' as I told +Lord Kenmare, and if I had stopped to think how I should make myself +popular, I should have bothered my head about what I did not care +twopence for, and provided an even more easy target for firing at at +short range. + +Drifting from a man who paid no heed to scoundrels, I am led to allude +to the attitude of a profession, the members of which profited by their +amenities--I, of course, mean solicitors--because some one put a +question to me on the subject only the other day. + +My answer is, that none of the solicitors were in the Land League, and +they did not instigate outrages; but they drew comfortable fees for +defending the perpetrators. + +Swindlers and murderers never agree, for they practise distinct +professions. + +We were fighting a Land War, and though I have kept back land questions +as much as I can, in order not to weary the reader with what never +wearies me, I have one or two examples to give which cannot be omitted +if I am to portray the true facts. + +My firm was agent for an estate in Castleisland, the rent of which, in +1841, was L2300. I exhibited the rental, showing only three quarters in +arrear. By 1886 it was cut down by the Commissioners to L 1800, and the +landlord sold it for L30,000, for which the tenants used to pay four per +cent, for forty-nine years, to cover principal and interest. + +There was a tenant on that estate named Dennis Coffey. He took a farm at +L105 a year; the Commissioners reduced that rent to L80. He purchased it +for L1440--eighteen years' purchase, for which his son has L42 a year +for forty-nine years. The father had purchased a farm for fee-simple of +equal value for L3000, which he left to two others of his sons. So that +one son, by paying half what he had covenanted to pay, and which he +could pay, gets a farm equal in value to what his father paid L3000 in +hard cash for. The man who is paying rent has his farm well stocked; the +others are paupers, and one died in the poorhouse. + +That may belong to to-day, and not to the period of outrage with which I +have been dealing; but it duly points the moral, and is the outcome of +those times. + +At the Boyle Board of Guardians in 1887, upon a discussion over the +Kilronan threatened evictions, Mr. Stuart said:-- + +'There was one of these men arrested by the police. His rent was L4, +12s. 6d., and, when arrested, a deposit-receipt for L220 was found in +his pocket.' + +This case had been freely cited at home and in America as a typical +instance of the ruthless tyranny of Irish landlords. + +My friend and neighbour, Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, addressed the +following letter to Mr. W.E. Gladstone, then Prime Minister:-- + +'Sir--I beg respectfully to call your attention to the following +statement. In 1866, Judge Longfield conveyed to my uncle, under what was +called an indefeasible title, the lands of Inch East, Ardroe and Inch +Island, and previous to the sale, Judge Longfield caused them to be +valued by Messrs. Gadstone and Ellis, and in the face of the rental, he +certified that the fair letting value of Inch East and Ardroe was L230, +and that the fair letting value of Inch Island was L75, now in hand. On +the strength of will, my uncle purchased the lands valued at L305 for +L6200, and your sub-Commissioners have just reduced the rental of Inch +East and Ardroe at the rate of from L230 to L170 a year. + +I therefore request you will be pleased to take some steps to recoup me +for the L60 a year I have lost by the action of the Government, and I +may say this can be partially done by abandoning the quit rent and tithe +rent charge, amounting to L34, 5s. 4d., which I am now forced by the +Government to pay without any reduction. + +A. BLENNERHASSETT.' + +The Right Honourable W.E. Gladstone. + + +The oracle of Hawarden was as dumb to this as to my effusion to a +similar purport already mentioned. Not even the proverbial postcard was +sent to Tralee, so the verbosity of Mr. Gladstone was strangely checked +when he found himself pinned down to facts by Irish landlords. + +Whilst landlords and their families were literally starving, and agents +were collecting what they could at the peril of their lives, the real +land-grabbers, the no-renters, were accumulating money, and investing it +in land. + +I sent the following series of sales to the _Times_ to show the real +value of land:-- + + (1) The interest on Lord Granard's estate, the valuation of which was + five guineas, was sold for L280, and the fee-simple subsequently + bought for L80. + + (2) On one of his own farms for which the tenant paid L65 annual rent, + the tenant's interest fetched L750 and auction fees. + + (3) A farm at Curraghila, near Tralee, annual rent L70, Poor Law + valuation, L51, 10s., area stat. 73 acres. The tenant's interest was + sold for L700. + + (4) Tenant's interest on a farm in County Tipperary, on Lord + Normanton's estate, at yearly rent of L30, was sold for L600, and the + fee-simple purchased for L450. + + (5) Tenant's interest at Breaing, near Castleisland, held at the + annual rent of L51, 10s., was sold for L550. + + (6) At Abbeyfeale, County Kerry, tenant of a small farm, at annual + rent of twenty-four shillings, sold his interest for L55. + +All the sales, save the Tipperary one, were in a district in which, +prior to the Land Act of 1881, tenant-right was unknown. + +Poetry is always congenial to an Irishman, probably because it has +licences almost as great as he likes to take, and has a vague, +irresponsible way of putting things, much akin to his own methods. + +Here are some lines from the 'Irish Tenant's Song' which express a good +deal of the popular emotion:-- + + Oh, Parnell, dear, and did you hear the news that's going round? + The landlords are forbid by law to live on Irish ground. + No more their rent-days they may keep, nor agents harsh distrain, + The widow need no longer weep, for over is their reign. + I met with mighty Gladstone, and he took me by the hand, + And he said, 'Hurrah for Ireland! 'tis now the happy land. + 'Tis a most delightful country that I for you have made--You + may shoot the landlord through the head who asks that rent be paid.' + We care not for the agent, nor do we care for those + Who come upon us to distrain--we pay them back in blows. + And when hopeless, helpless, ruined, these landlords vile shall roam, + We'll hunt and hound them from the roofs they've held so long as home. + +I don't say that was sung in Castleisland, but it might have been the +local hymn and verbal companion to the brutal misdeeds of the benighted +inhabitants. + +As if matters were not bad enough, that Apostle of outrage Mr. Michael +Davitt came to Castleisland on February 21, 1886, and in a pestilential +speech, inciting to crime, he showed that, at all events, he appreciated +that for sheer blackness and turpitude Kerry was bad to beat. He said:-- + +'For some time past Kerry has attracted more attention for the +occurrences which have been taking place here, than the whole remainder +of Ireland put together. I am not without hope that henceforth, until +the battle with landlordism and Dublin Castle is triumphantly over, the +people of Kerry will be towers of strength to the national cause. The +hope of Irish landlordism is now centred in Kerry. Elsewhere it has +none, it is a social rinderpest, since the National League was started +1600 families have been turned out in this one county.' + +Captain M'Calmont in the House of Commons, three weeks afterwards, +called attention to Mr. Baron Dowse's address to the Grand Jury of the +County of Kerry in which he stated:-- + +'That this county is in a very much worse state than it has been for +years: that there are no less than three hundred offences specially +reported to the constabulary since the Assizes of 1885, consisting of +two cases of murder, eighteen cases of letters threatening to murder, +thirty-nine cases of cattle, horse, and sheep stealing, eleven cases of +arson, eighteen cases of maiming cattle, fifty-two cases of seizing +arms, seventy-four cases of sending threatening letters, and twenty-four +cases of intimidation.' + +You will observe that this is the same picture from two different points +of view. + +Almost the worst case in which I was personally interested, was that of +the Cruickshank family. + +The father, an industrious, respectable, elderly Scotsman, supported his +family at Inch by the proceeds of a rabbit-warren which he rented. He +had no farm, and therefore might expect to live in peace, even in Kerry, +in those times; but, as he was a Scotch Protestant, and had arms, he was +a marked man. + +Having been threatened, he was partially guarded by the police who +patrolled the district. However, in April 1885, when the Prince of Wales +visited Ireland, and the constabulary from country districts were +drafted into the towns through which he had to pass, a number of +disguised Nationalists entered Cruickshank's house at night. They gave +him a frightful beating, even breaking a gun on his head, which was +seriously injured. This was done in the presence of his wife and +daughters, and of a young son who, with one of his sisters, went off in +the night to a police station four miles distant, to obtain assistance +for his father. + +Between the fight and the chill received that night, the boy fell into a +decline of which he died in May 1886. One daughter, not strong at the +time of the outrage, became a chronic invalid. The father, as soon as he +was able to move after the perpetration, applied for compensation under +the Crimes Act, but as it was then to expire in about a fortnight, the +Lord-Lieutenant refused to consider the case. The poor fellow continued +to suffer from the wounds on his head, and so affected was he by the +shock of his son's death, that he became insensible and only survived +him a few weeks, leaving his widow and three daughters without any means +of support. + +My wife and the former Archdeacon of Ardfert appealed for subscriptions +and obtained L120, which enabled the unfortunate survivors to return to +Scotland. + +That was the settlement of the land question that suited the +Nationalists, namely, to cause the death of the head of the family, and +to get the rest out of the country. It did not say much for the +civilisation of the nineteenth century, but after the brutalities of the +spring of 1871 in Paris, there can be no doubt how thin is the veneer +over the barbarity of even the most civilised; those deeds were +perpetrated in the heart of the European capital specially devoted to +amusement: what I describe took place in the most distant portion of +Europe, where Nature is lovely and man, alas, the creature of impulse, +the prey of those who lead him into the worst temptations. + +Another settlement was suggested by an anonymous writer who concealed +his identity under the pseudonym of Saxon. He observed:-- + +'Two hundred millions of English money are now (1886) to be spent buying +out Irish landlords, but would it not be surely better and more in +accordance with reason and justice to buy out the tenants? At a very low +calculation, two hundred millions would put a couple of hundred pounds +in every Irishman's pocket, and there is not one of them that would +refuse to leave his beloved country, and bless America or Australia on +these terms. The island could be populated with Scotch and English +settlers, and our difficulties be at an end. The Irish must not have +their own loaf and ours too. I commend this scheme to Messrs. Gladstone +and Morley. It is quite as just, quite as reasonable, and more forcible +than their own.' + +Hear, hear! say I, but our grandchildren's grandchildren when grey old +men will still be trying to settle the Irish question, which can never +be settled until there arises a big man strong enough to force his will +on the Empire and fortunate enough to be able to hand over the reins of +political dictatorship to an equally enlightened and powerful successor. + +It is hopeless to expect Irish matters to go well, when the balance of +parties in the House of Commons is held by hirelings and traitors, men +who debase patriotism and would to-day encourage outrage as much as they +did in 1884, if it was worth their mercenary while. + +I had a word to write myself a year later to Mr. T. Harrington, who +thought he could tell as many lies about me as suited his own purpose, +and I addressed my reply, published on August 29, 1887, to the Editor of +the _Times_. It ran as follows:-- + + +'Sir--I have just read the speech of Mr. T. Harrington in the debate on +Mr. Gladstone's motive relating to the proclamation of the National +League, in which he states that I invented and gave to Mr. Balfour the +particulars of the boycotting of Justin M'Carthy. I beg you will allow +me to state that I never wrote to Mr. Balfour, or to any member of the +Government, on that or any subject. Had I supplied the information, I +would have mentioned some facts which Mr. Balfour omitted, for instance, +that a man named Andrew Griffin was nearly murdered because he brought +provisions to Justin M'Carthy, that four men were put on their trial for +the outrage, but notwithstanding a plain charge from the judge, the +jury, fearing the vengeance of the League, acquitted the prisoners. I +would also mention a fact that would seem almost incredible to your +English Catholic readers, that the old man cannot attend his place of +worship without being hissed at in the church, and that his aged wife, +while partaking of the sacrament of the Holy Communion, was hissed at +and jeered. These things can be proved on oath, and are not to be set +aside by frothy declamation. Neither can the fact be disproved that one +of the offences for which Justin M'Carthy has suffered was that he +purchased his farm from me under Lord Ashbourne's Act, a proceeding +which (as it is likely to settle down the country) is considered a +deadly crime; and for committing the same offence another man in the +same barony had his cows stabbed. + +Your obedient servant, S.M. HUSSEY.' + + +There is yet another case I cannot forbear from handing on to a +generation that knows no outrages nearer home than Macedonia. Six +ruffians, having their faces covered with handkerchiefs, and armed with +heavy cudgels, entered the house of a farmer named Lambe and began to +beat him. To save his head from the blows, he ran the upper part of his +body up the chimney and held on by the cross-bar. His wife, on coming to +his assistance, was beaten so severely that her skull was fractured, +while an aged female--stated to be in her ninety-seventh year--was not +only roughly handled, but also beaten. A most discreditable episode +indeed, in a land formerly renowned for respect for womanhood, and for +the warm-hearted generosity of her sons. + +In only one instance in Kerry was police protection being regarded as +necessary up to the present summer, and all who know the contemporary +condition of affairs will at once recollect that Mrs. Morrogh Bernard is +the lady in question. + +The late Mr. Edward Morrogh Bernard of Fahagh Court, Bullybrack, was a +Roman Catholic, who had resided in Kerry all his life, and some +five-and-twenty years ago he built on his property the residence in +which he died in the spring of 1904. He and his wife, an English lady, +who was justly beloved for her wide charity, were one night, after +dinner, sitting in their drawing-room, when a party of masked +moonlighters walked in. One of them held a pistol to her head, and told +her not to scream or move, else he would shoot her. Another performed +the same kindly office for Mr. Bernard, whilst the rest ransacked the +house for arms and money. + +Mrs. Bernard noticed that the hands of the man who was threatening her +with violence were not those of an agricultural labourer, because they +were small and white. On the strength of this clue, the police arrested +a little tailor in the village, and she courageously identified him in +court, though every possible pressure was brought on her not to do so. +He was sentenced to several years' imprisonment, and his friends vowed +they would make it hot for Mrs. Bernard, and ever after she has been +protected by two or three constables. The police did not live in Fahagh +Court, but in a hut specially built for them a few yards off, and at +night they always came into the house. To the very last days of Mr. +Bernard's life whenever he and she went to pay a call on a neighbour, +two policemen followed them either on a car or on bicycles, and I have +never heard any reasons advanced to show that these precautions were +superfluous. + +Meeting this little party on the highway was the only thing in the +twentieth century which brought home to the British tourist the terrible +deeds which blackened Kerry in the eighties. + +I have always looked on the light side of life, even when it has seemed +blackest, and so I will not close this chapter without a more cheery +anecdote. + +There was a good deal of friction among Land Leaguers over the amount of +relief money and other remuneration doled out by the rebel authorities. +This seldom reached a more droll pitch than in the complaint of a girl +at Rossbeigh, who wrote to a prominent member of Parliament--since +deceased--that another girl had been awarded a pound for booing at a +sergeant, 'while I, who broke a policeman's head, never got so much as +would pay for a candle to the Blessed Virgin.' + +Sometimes the crafty Paddy utilised the agitation for his own purposes, +as the following example will prove. + +A farmer's house was fired into, but no one could tell the reason why, +for he had not paid any rent and was a good Land Leaguer. He was asked +if he could account for it himself, and after some shuffling under +promise of strict secrecy, made the following revelation. + +'Well, it was this way, I married a dacent girl from the North, and all +went well with us until her mother came along, and she had the divil's +own tongue, and nothing could get her out of the house. I would say "the +North has fine air, would not a change back there get you your health?" + +'To which the old Biddy would reply:-- + +'"Where would I live except with my only daughter and her husband?" + +'And this sort of thing made me desperate, and I promised the "bhoys" +five shillings if they would fire round the house on a certain night. On +the evening that had been agreed upon, I began reading on the paper how +farms in Castleisland were being fired into, and the old woman said that +if these things were so, County Kerry was worse than County Cork, and I +thought to myself "maybe you'll find it so, you ould divil." + +'Well, they came and did their work in grand style after we had gone to +bed, and there was the mother-in-law screeching and bawling, and every +hour too long for her until daylight, when I put her in the cart and +drove her to the station.' + +The sequel is that the couple left to themselves lived happily ever +after, a thing more likely to happen to people in England and Ireland, +if it was no one's business to make bad blood between them. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +COMMISSIONS + + +I have probably given evidence to as many Commissions as any living man, +for I have been before seven, and never once was asked a question that +posed me. + +I enjoyed the experience of being asked about what I knew by those who +knew nothing on the subject, and if the legal mind was a little more +obtuse than the civil, well, it was only the choice between a grey +donkey and a black. + +The earliest Commission I gave evidence before was one on Agriculture. +Professor Bohnamy Price was one of the Commissioners, and he knew what +he was talking about, others being Lord Carlingford, the Duke of +Buccleuch, and the Duke of Richmond and Gordon, who presided. The peers +were all used to big parks, obsequious bailiffs, and huge demesnes. I +think they metaphorically picked up their coat tails and stepped +carefully away from the Irish potato patches and acres of turf. + +It was alleged that prosperity of nations was a good deal owing to +tenant-right. + +'I do not think so,' said I, 'because Donegal and Kerry have +approximately the same value and area, same number of miles of road and +sea frontage. There is extreme tenant-right in Donegal and none in +Kerry, yet the prosperity of the farmers in Kerry is extremely superior +to those of Donegal.' + +'There is too much tenant-right in Donegal,' said Mr. Chichester +Fortescue, who was examining me. + +'Not if it is a good thing,' I replied, 'for then you could not have too +much.' + +Mr. Shaw Lefevre's Commission on the housing of the working classes in +Ireland was very uninteresting. 'Oxen are stalled, pigs are styed or +take possession of the cabin, but what is done for the Irish labourers?' +asked a passionate mob-orator, and in many cases it might have been +answered that a good deal more has been done for them than the idle +ruffians deserve. I had no difficulty in showing that landlords were +always willing to give assistance in housing labourers, and when an +ex-mayor of Cork on the Commission seemed to doubt my assertions, I +might have retorted that though he was used to factory hands, yet he had +never bothered himself how they lived out of work time. + +The Duke of Devonshire was on this board. He has obtained his great and +honourable reputation by conscientiously slumbering through many duties. +His tastes are for racing and shooting, but from sheer patriotism he has +devoted himself to politics with all the energy of his lethargic manner, +which successfully conceals abnormal common-sense. It was he, more than +any other man, who saved Ireland from Home Rule, though as an Irish +landlord he has not come much to the fore, because his vast English +estates are immeasurably more important than those situated round +Lismore. This picturesque town was once called the abode of saints, but +only antiquarians remember that its university was once so important +that Alfred the Great went there to study, and that in the old castle +Henry II held a Parliament. The Cavendishs rebuilt the latter, and both +in appearance and position it much resembles Warwick Castle. It has not +very many bedrooms, and when the King was first expected, among various +extensive alterations, a bathroom was put up. The Duke has generally +visited Lismore twice a year, and has never stood unduly on his dignity, +but been approachable by all, and reasonable about everything, which has +also been characteristic of his political views. + +Lord Bessborough presided over a Commission on Irish Land Laws. He was a +very kind, very lean man, who was wont in old age to walk about London +wrapped in a black cape, and was idolised at Harrow, where twenty +generations of boys knew him and his brothers and valued their unabated +interest in school cricket. Baron Dowse, a judge I have already +mentioned, the O'Conor Don, and Mr. Shaw, were the members who put +questions to me. I remember the O'Conor Don was much impressed when I +mentioned I had made six tours in Scotland, and had been in Holland, in +Belgium, in France, in Germany, in Italy, and just before in Spain, to +inquire into the state of agriculture. I said that if a man persisted in +farming badly I would serve him with notice to quit even if he paid his +rent, and I pointed out that there were three hundred thousand occupiers +of land in Ireland whose holdings were under L8 Poor Law valuation, and +these occupiers, when their potatoes fail, have nothing to fall back +upon but relief work, starvation, or emigration, and I further laid +before the Commission a purchase scheme. There would be twenty years' +purchase-money to be lent by the State, two years' purchase to be found +by the tenant and two years more at the end of ten years. Thus the +landlord would get a price for his property that would induce him to +sell (reductions had not then been wholesale) and the tenant would get a +lease for ever with abolition of rent at the end of thirty-five years by +paying a fine of two years' rent down and two more at the end of ten +years. + +They would not have it. Who ever expected that Justice would lift the +bandage from her eyes for the sake of fair play to the landlord? + +Lord Salisbury had a Commission on the working of the Land Act of 1881. +Lord Dunraven, Lord Pembroke, and Lord Cairns were on it, the latter +being chairman. He was so austere that, when he was made Lord +Chancellor, it was said he had swallowed the mace and could not digest +it. His law may have been profound, but it was never relieved by a gleam +of humour, and his ecclesiastical proclivities were of the lowest Church +type. For some time he nominated Tory bishops, and it was declared he +was so evangelical that he would have suggested any clergyman for a +vacant bishopric who promised to forego the ecclesiastical gaiters. His +horror of Anthony Trollope's novels was notorious, especially his +dislike of Mrs. Proudie and her attendant divines. + +I said the working of the Land Act was ruin to Irish landlords, and +cited a case. A Kerry gentleman had an estate of L1200 rent roll, with a +mortgage of L8000 which involved charges of L400 a year, a jointure +tithes and head rent took L400 more. The Commissioners by so cutting +down the rent by L400 made a clean sweep of what that landlord had to +live on. Fortunately, he had his mother's fortune of L40,000, which his +grandfather had wisely provided should not be invested in Irish lands, +having, in fact, established a contingency in case his grandson should +be dispossessed of the property he had held for generations, by a +Government truckling to blustering 'no-renters.' + +Before Lord Cowper's Commission on the same subject, I said much the +same thing over again and realised that Royal Commissions are most +valuable for the purpose of shelving pregnant topics. The only good +derived from these official inquiries is that the witnesses get their +expenses and the Government printers have a lucrative contract. + +There is a story told of a witness who was being brought over to London +to give evidence. + +'Patrick,' said the priest, 'you'll be having to mind what you're saying +over there. Perjury won't help you no more than I can, my poor fellow.' + +'What happens if I get a bit wide of the truth then, father?' + +'You won't get your expenses, my son.' + +'Holy Mother, to think of that! I'll be so careful that I won't know how +many legs the blessed pig has that's round the cabin all day long.' + +Sir Edward Fry's Commission had none of the tinsel of big names nor the +tawdriness of aristocratic apathy. Sir Edward meant to find the truth, +and so did his colleagues--all practical men. What they did was to +strike against the hard rock of party government which was too adamant +to receive the evidence sown by these gardeners. Dr. Anthony Traill, who +was one of the Commissioners, has in this very year of grace been made +Provost of Trinity, and from what I saw of him I am certain he will be +the apostle of fair play between undergraduates and dons. + +I answered over five hundred questions and rammed home one or two +points. For instance, I expressed my disapproval of a system by which a +man who is a sub-Commissioner at the hearing on the first term may +become the Court valuer on the next. + +In valuation, it is wrong that men from the north should be sent to +value in the south, or _vice versa_, and to prove that I cited the +example of my tenant, Anne Delane. Her rent was fixed first term in 1883 +for L34, 10s. In 1896, for second term, the sub-Commissioner fixed it at +L23, 10s., and on appeal it was raised to L25. Mr. O'Shaughnessy, who +was one of the sub-Commissioners on the first term, acted as a Court +valuer on the second. On the first time he allowed L103, 6s. 9d. for +drains and buildings, and on the second omitted it. + +In the case of Hoffman, who held a farm at a rent of L30, I reduced it +to L20 in 1881. In 1896 he went into court, and the County Court judge +reduced it to L15, and on appeal he got it again reduced to L13. + +On land which came into my own hands after 1881, I was able to get rents +over 50 per cent. in excess of those fixed by the sub-Commissioners. In +the case of Patrick Quill, the farm on which the rent was cut down from +L20 to L16 was sold for L300 with a charge of L9 on it. + +In the case of Michael Callaghan, Colonel Hickson expended L300 and +Callaghan L100 on the farm, for which the rent was L70, and he sold his +interest for L700. + +This perpetual wrangling and litigation is ruinous, for every man is +farming down his land and letting it deteriorate as fast as he can; and +there is a most marked difference in the county between those who have +bought their land and those who are tenants. When a judicial rent was +fixed and a tenant came into Court for a second judicial rent, I think +the landlord should have been at liberty to stop him by tendering the +farmer twenty years' purchase; that would give him a reduction of 20 per +cent, and make him a proprietor in the course of time. + +In 1850 at Milltown Fair, yearlings were selling for 30s. apiece. The +same cattle now are selling for L5, and Kerry is a great stock-breeding +country. + +It is very hard to define a landlord, and you will hear of some being +landlords who do not get a shilling from their estates. Under these +circumstances they would be like the fox in AEsop's fable who had lost +his own tail. + +To show how the Land Act works, on the Harenc estate I was offered +twenty-seven years' purchase before the Act for a holding, and at the +time of the Commission they offered me sixteen years' purchase on +two-thirds of the rent. + +One other Commission besides that of the _Times_ remains to be +mentioned. Lord Balfour of Burleigh, a dour Scot with a lot of gumption +in his head, was chairman of one on Imperial _versus_ local taxation. My +easy task was to show the excess of the latter in Kerry, which is the +highest taxed county in the three kingdoms. + +When a man thinks of the vast amount of information buried beyond all +probable excavation in the Blue Books of the last fifty years, he may +well break into Carlyle-like diatribes against the waste of the whole +thing--which is paid for out of the taxpayer's pocket. + +Alluding to all these Commissions reminds me that there were three Land +Commissioners--Mr. Bewlay, who was very deaf; Mr. FitzGerald, who was +rather hasty; and Mr. Wrench, who consistently absented himself to +attend the Congested Board. + +So they were respectively, though not respectfully, called, 'The judge +who could not hear, the judge who would not hear, and the judge who is +not here.' This was one of the witticisms of my clever friend, Mr. +Robert Martin--'Bally-hooley'-one of the very few men who can write a +good Irish song, and sing it well, into the bargain. + +I appeared in the witness-box in the case of O'Donnell _v._ the _Times_. +I suppose people buy newspapers to obtain information, or else to get a +pennyworth of lies to induce equanimity in bearing the income-tax, the +weather, and all other ills that an unnatural Government is responsible +for; and I further suppose a halfpenny paper has to condense its +inaccuracies, and serve them up in tabloid form for mental indigestion. +However, that is as it may be; anyhow, I had a hearty laugh at the +_Star_, which wrote:-- + +'A look round the Court again this morning brought the strange +impression which one now always feels on entering the Court. The space +is so comparatively small, but one feels as though it were all Ireland +in microcosm. You see representatives of every class in the terrible +conflict of war, of rival passions, hatred, and traditions. This man +with the large nose, the large and disfigured face, is Mr. Hussey, and +those scars that you see, and the distortion of the features, are +perchance marks left by some desperate and homicidal tenant avenging his +wrongs.' + +That 'perchance' is good, considering my riding misadventure in County +Cork, of which I gave an account earlier. + +As for the Parnell Commission, it was the outcome of superb patriotism +on the part of the _Times_. That great organ, in the spirit of purest +devotion to the best interests of England and Ireland, honestly +attempted to expose treachery, and to denounce treason. Hundreds of +columns of the valuable space at their daily disposal, as well as +thousands of pounds earned by the highest journalism of any country, +were freely lavished in this tremendous denunciation, known as +'Parnellism and Crime.' The crime of Pigott eventually saved Parnell and +his followers. But the last word on that has not yet been spoken. +Another pen than mine may, perchance before long, tell the whole truth +about that tragic episode, and explain what is still an unsolved riddle +in all dispassionate minds. Without challenging and exciting the +strongest racial prejudices, it will be impossible to lift the veil, and +I have no intention of affording even the slightest preliminary peep +behind the scenes of that dramatic affair. The wheels of God grind +slowly, and they ground exceeding small almost before the absurd +exultation of Nationalist relief over the Pigott episode had abated. It +is almost time to treat the whole affair from the historical point of +view, and then the idol of Home Rule will be pulverised. However, that +is another story in which I have no chapter to write. + +My own share in the Parnell Commission was on November 29, 1888, on the +twenty-third day. I was examined by the Attorney-General, the present +Lord Chief Justice, and the most popular and most honourable of men. At +that very time, I have heard, he sang each Sunday in the surpliced choir +of a Kensington church, and I suppose he is the very best chairman of a +committee or of a public meeting of our own or any other time. A +Parnellite once said he had the unctuousness of a retired grocer, but +was contradicted by a more reverent English Radical, who said, 'No, he +has the unction of grace,' whereas, the truth is, he has the platform +manner with him always. + +I told the Court I had been a Kerry magistrate for the previous +thirty-seven years, and, after deposing to the earlier state of my +property, I insisted that moonlighting and 'land-grabbing' were unknown +terms before 1880. My examination under the Attorney-General was, in +fact, too practical and useful to provide amusement for latter day +readers. + +My cross-examination was begun by Sir Charles Russell, who led off with +a sneer about my being the most popular man in the county, and, when I +adhered to other statements, he added, 'Well, a very popular man. I will +not put you on too high a pinnacle.' (Laughter.) Then for an hour and a +half he plied me with the best balanced statistical questions I ever +heard put in a hostile spirit, and without a note I could answer every +one. After considerable hesitation I admitted on consideration that +there was in Kerry one farmer benefiting by the Act of 1870. I have +never heard since that he was caught and exhibited as the solitary +outward and visible sign of the inward and legal benefit of the +legislative force of Imperial Parliament. + +Mr. Lockwood, to whom, as artist, I had been serving as a model, +evidently preferred to handle me with pencil rather than with questions, +for he was almost as brief as Mr. Reid. It is my view that they both had +consigned me to petrification under Sir Charles Russell, and finding me +alive and kicking, thought me too tough to expire under such _coups de +grace_ as they could inflict. + +We came to banter when Mr. Michael Davitt suggested that the young men +of Castleisland took part in nocturnal raids because there was no such +social inducement to keep them quiet, as a music-hall or a theatre; but +I told him there ought to have been no inducement to them to shoot their +neighbours, and that Castleisland was past redemption. + +He blandly alluded to my popularity with the tenants before 1880; but I +only said that I got on fairly well with them, for I do not think that +any agent was ever really popular. + +'Relatively?' insidiously. + +'Yes.' + +Then came this curious question, put with a gentleness that would have +aroused the suspicion of a babe:-- + +'Did you ever say, in reply to a question put to you by Mr. Townsend +Trench as to why you were not shot, that you had told the tenants that +if anything happened to you he would succeed you as agent?' + +'Yes, I did say so; but it is not original, because it is what Charles +II. said to James II.' + +This historic reference, which elicited laughter in Court, did not seem +intelligible to my questioner, but some better informed person probably +soon quoted it to him:-- + +'Depend on it, brother James, they will never shoot me to make you +king.' + +From the kid-glove amenities of Mr. Davitt to the aggressive harshness +of Mr. Biggar was a sharp contrast. He heckled me vigorously, and I +retorted to him pretty hotly. A great deal had been expected of this +cross-examination, but the general opinion was that I gave rather better +than I received. Coolness is the despair of cross-examiners, and I think +mine made more impression on the Court than the impulsiveness of a dozen +inaccurate Nationalists. + +Mr. Biggar asked:-- + +'You said you were popular in the district up to 1880?' + +I retorted with emphasis:-- + +'I never had a serious threat until you mentioned my name in +Castleisland, and then people told me, 'Get police protection at once, +or you will be shot!' + +That made the Court laugh. Mr. Biggar did not appreciate the humour. He +returned to the charge viciously:-- + +'Did not some of your sympathisers light a bonfire in 1878 at +Castleisland on account of the triumphs of your buying the Harenc +estate? and did not the population of Castleisland, who knew your +character, scatter that bonfire, and put it out?' + +'I heard they had a row over it. There were nine bonfires lighted in +Kerry after I succeeded. I was fairly popular until you held up my name +as a subject for murder in Castleisland. You said Hussey might be a very +bad man, but you would take care of one thing--that if any person was +charged with shooting him, or any other agent, they would be defended, +which meant they would be paid.' + +Mr. Biggar did not appear to relish the line he was on, and shunted to +another topic; but he could not shake my view that the rents of 1880 +were, on the average, twenty-five per cent. lower than in 1840. + +'You bought the Harenc estate over the heads of the tenants?' + +'No, I did not.' + +'You spoke about an address which you received from the tenants when you +were a candidate for Tralee?' + +'Yes.' + +Then, with the snarl of a wild beast, Mr. Biggar blurted out:-- + +'Have you any idea whether this was got up by the bailiffs on your +property?' + +'I am quite certain it was not, because I had no bailiffs on the +property. I gave an immense deal of employment, and I believe that had +something to do with it.' + +Mr. Biggar presently sat down, having made less of me than he and his +friends hoped. + +On re-examination, the Attorney-General observed:-- + +'You say one of the bonfires, lighted when you succeeded, was put out. I +suppose the Irish people are not very averse to a row at times?' + +'Oh no.' + +'And bonfires do produce rows at times?' + +'Certainly.' + +'Your popularity did not depend on one bonfire?' + +'No.' + +Nor did my life, fortunately, depend on the good will of Messrs. +Parnell, Biggar, and their associates. + +With reference to my freedom in telling the truth, an application was +made against me, in July 1891, for an attachment of the Land Court. It +ended abortively, and permitted me to continue with perfect impunity to +give in letters to the _Times_ evidence I was debarred from giving in +Court. + +I certainly did not miss a chance of pointing out the proper path to the +Commissioners, and I have taken an even affectionate interest in every +department of the Land Commission. Sarcastically, a Home Rule paper +politely christened me as the fatherly patron of the Court, and informed +me that my own conscience had given up communication with me, in +consequence of the many snubs it had received. + +The intimate knowledge of my most private affairs that this purports to +represent proves the empty-headedness of the writer, and when he added +that the strong indictment rebounded off my hide because I had heard +myself a hundred times denounced in language equally eloquent, I can +only agree that he was a mere lisping babe in comparison with some +adjectival denunciators who, to their regret, find I am still alive and +equal to them all. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +LATER DAYS + + +With advancing years comes a change in the point of view, for +anticipation contracts even more than retrospect expands. Associates of +early days have passed away, and where I was once one of a battalion, +to-day I am only a survivor of the old guard. This is not a cause for +sadness, but an incentive to take the best of what remains of life, +though at times chills and other ills, including doctors, drugs, and +income-tax, do their best to depress the survivor. It has been said to +be a characteristic of Irish humour that tears are very near the +laughter, and sometimes the unshed tears over lost opportunities must be +the chief bitterness of age--one which I have been mercifully spared. + +After all, youth may round the world away, as Charles Kingsley wrote; +but when the wheels are run down, to find at home the face I loved when +all was young is the blessing of life, and when, at our golden wedding, +our children called us Darby and Joan, I am sure my wife and I were +quite willing to answer to the names. + +This was happiness very different to that of George IV., who, when the +death of Napoleon was announced to him in the words:-- + +'Sir, your great enemy is dead,' exclaimed:-- + +'Is she? By Gad!' thinking it was his wife. + +I remember an amusing case that occurred in our own family. One of my +kith and kin, who had been married in the year of the battle of +Waterloo, died at the ripe old age of a hundred and three. + +There was a faithful old fellow on the estate who was much attached to +her, and this was his view, just before her end:-- + +'I am sorry to hear the old mistress is dying, very sorry indeed, for +she's been a good mistress to us all. Maybe if she had taken snuff she'd +have lived to a good old age,' which suggests wonder as to what his +conception of longevity really was. Probably the famous Countess of +Desmond, who died from the effects of a fall from a cherry-tree in her +one hundred and fortieth year, would have satisfied him. + +I have already observed that much of my later years has been spent, much +against my will, in London, and no portion of this period was so +satisfactory to me as my friendship with Mr. J.A. Froude, which I regard +as one of the privileges of my life. + +My first acquaintance with him was in consequence of reading his +_English in Ireland_, which I found so accurate and informative that I +wrote to ask him for an interview. I came to like him very much, not +only because he was the most gifted writer I have met, but also because +he understood Ireland better than any other Englishman. + +My first conversation with him was in his house in Onslow Gardens, and +there I very frequently sat for hours with him, and he also presented me +with copies of all his books, with an autograph letter on the fly-leaf +of each. I think the recent Land Purchase Act, having been followed by +increased agitation for Home Rule in Ireland, bears out what he said +about the folly of trying to reconcile the irreconcilables, and also +bears out what Lord Morris called the 'criminal idiotcy' of attempting +to satisfy eighty Irish members, forty of whom would have to starve +directly they were satisfied. + +So far as I am aware, Mr. Froude never contemplated standing for +Parliament, which would not have been a congenial atmosphere for him, +though I am convinced he would have made more mark at Westminster than +his friend Mr. Lecky, whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. + +People to-day seem to regard Mr. Froude simply as the Boswell of +Carlyle, and, forgetting his own great services to historical +literature, degrade him to the mere chronicler of the bilious sage of +Chelsea. This is absolutely a distortion of fact, and one calculated to +do injury to the memory of both these famous men. Therefore it may be of +real utility to state that during my long and very intimate acquaintance +with Mr. Froude, he never mentioned the name of Carlyle to me but once, +and that was to describe a conversation between Lord Wolseley and +Carlyle, which dealt with the contemporary situation in Ireland. There +was, therefore, nothing to show me that my friend 'was utterly absorbed +in the Carlyles, and had no thought for any one else.' On the contrary, +he was a man full of keen interests, of which they were only one, and, +as far as I saw, an entirely subordinate one. He was a broad-minded man, +who hated petty misconception or a narrow view of anything, and he would +have been horrified at the prurient indecency with which the most +private affairs of the Carlyles have been exposed and distorted to +please a public which really has a higher moral tone than is possessed +by those who have gibbeted the defenceless dead. + +Mr. Froude was not addicted to talking much about his own works, but I +remember his telling me that _Oceana_ had paid him best of them all, and +I think his view therein that the colonies will recede from England when +they are strong enough, following the example of the United States, is +accurate. Just tax Canada as Ireland has been taxed, and see how long +the Canadians will be contented. The ministers of George III. tried that +policy on the United States with the result that, before many years, +George had to receive the Plenipotentiary Minister of dominions over +which he himself had once reigned. It is absurd to compare Ireland with +Yorkshire, as has been done, for Ireland once had a separate Parliament, +and the Union was a matter of agreement, the outcome of which was that +Mr. Childers's Commission found she was taxed three millions more than +she should have been. The colonies are on the alert, with all the rather +irritable uppishness of youth on the verge of manhood, and their younger +generations are sure to take full advantage of any tactless conduct of +the British Government. Such was Froude's view, and nothing has happened +since his death to shake its inherent probability. The waves of Imperial +patriotism in war time go for very little, for Ireland is admittedly +disloyal, and yet Irish soldiers and Irish regiments were absolutely the +most successful in South Africa. + +When the Government was introducing some quack measure into Ireland, +Froude wrote to me:-- + +'I see they are putting some fresh sticks under the Irish pot, so it +will soon boil over.' + +Which it did, with a vengeance. + +To the end of his days Froude was a great reader, but his interest in +Church affairs and in ecclesiastical differences had completely died +away. He told me that the most accurate man of business of any period +was Philip of Spain, and that his notes and memoranda were a marvel of +practical aptitude. He derived the chief information for his _History of +England_ from Spanish despatches, and would to-day have benefited +considerably by the translations of Major Martin Hume. + +Personally Froude had no cranks; his disposition was most urbane, whilst +he was very neat in his appearance and also in his handwriting. It would +certainly be of interest to give a few of his racy letters, too often +undated, which I have preserved. Unfortunately, his executors firmly +refuse the necessary legal consent, so that I am compelled to make my +book irreparably the poorer by omitting what should have been one of its +most attractive contents. In justice to Froude's memory, I ought to add +that there was nothing in his correspondence with me that would have +diminished his high repute. I mention this because otherwise busybodies +might have misinterpreted the arbitrary action of his executors to the +detriment of his fame. + +A later friendship than that with Froude also must have a sincere +allusion in these pages, for I have derived much pleasure from my +association with Sir Henry Howorth, a ripe old lawyer of Portuguese +extraction, who has rendered valuable political service by his polemical +letters to the _Times_, on which I can pass a most favourable opinion. +His histories of the Mongols, the Mammoth, and the Flood are possibly +more permanent, but they are not of such contemporary note. At any rate, +I respect them from a distance, whilst I admire the political effusions +as the capital work of a comrade under arms, and one who is not afraid +to verbally bludgeon any formidable contemporary Hooligans. + +Sir Henry Howorth occasionally breaks out into a story, though he is +more frequently a listener to mine. This is one of his that I happen to +recall:-- + +The Mayor of Richmond gave a dinner, at which a distinguished Frenchman +sat next the Mayor's son, and on replying for the guests in imperfect +English, observed:-- + +'I am vary happy to be here, and to meet my young friend, who is a sheep +of the old bloke,' meaning, of course, a chip of the old block. + +I plead guilty to have materially increased the interest felt by Sir +Henry in Irish affairs, which is not diminished by the fact that a niece +of Lord Ashbourne is married to his son. + +I think it was to him that I recommended another panacea for the evils +of Ireland, namely, that it would be a good plan to exchange Ireland for +Holland, for the Dutch would reclaim Ireland, and the Irish would +neglect the banks of Holland, with the eventual result that the living +Irish question would be washed away. + +Just now I alluded to a mayor, which reminds me of a story about an +Irish mayoress. As his Majesty has by this time been entertained at +several Corporation luncheons, it is not invidious to give the tale. + +The Mayoress, who was the heroine of the festal occasion in question, +felt completely overpowered by the royal society in which she found +herself, and when seated at the meal next to the King, was absolutely +unable to articulate any reply at all to the observations he addressed +to her, so eventually he gave her up, and turned his colloquial +attentions to the lady on the other side. + +After a while, fortified by the champagne, the Mayoress grew more +courageous, and, admiring the gentleman in full uniform on her right, +said to him:-- + +'Might I be so bowld as to ask whether you are Lord Plunket?' + +'No,' he replied, with a smile, 'I am not.' + +'Would you mind telling me who you are, for I'm sure I don't know?' + +'I am the Duke of Connaught,' complaisantly replied her neighbour, upon +which she gasped:--'Oh, God in Heaven, another of them!' and subsided +into unbroken silence for the rest of the repast. + +Another amusing case of mistaken identity occurred when Mr. Gladstone +was concocting his treasonable Home Rule Bill. He had been informed that +Lord Clonbrook would be able to give him invaluable information, so he +told his wife to ask him to luncheon. She, however, mistaking the name, +invited the late Lord Clonmel, a jovial sportsman known to his friends +by the nickname of 'Old Sherry.' + +Somewhat surprised at being thus honoured, Lord Clonmel consulted a few +cronies, who all advised him to accept, and in due course he proceeded +to Downing Street, where he found the French Ambassador was the only +other guest. It is possible that Mr. Gladstone thought him a little odd +and his attire somewhat demonstrative, but he was prepared for any +eccentricity in an Irish peer, and hardly noticed how excellently his +guest was doing justice to the meal, whilst preserving impenetrable +silence. Directly it was over, the Prime Minister took him apart, and +said:--'Now I want you, privately and confidentially, to give me your +view of the exact relation between landlord and tenant in Ireland.' + +'Absolute hell, my dear boy, absolute hell,' was the emphatic reply of +the old sportsman. + +That confidential conversation went no further; but I have never been +sure that Lord Clonmel in the least overstated the case. + +This renewed allusion to the lower regions that appears so closely +connected with Irish affairs reminds me of an amusing incident which +took place in a Dublin tram. Two members of the fair sex were discussing +their plans for the summer in the interior of a car, and one of them in +a mincing brogue said to the other:-- + +'I think I shall go to England this summer; it is so difficult in +Ireland to get away from the vulgar Irish.' + +'Faix,' screamed in much indignation an old Biddy sitting opposite, 'if +it's the vulgar Irish you want to avoid, and the English you want to be +meeting, it's to hell you must go, and you'd better go there this +summer.' + +That's the sort of quick retort which a Scotchman calls Irish insolence, +but then, who expects appreciation of real wit from any one canny? Wit +is irresponsible, a truly Irish propensity. + +The two mincing young women were almost as much disgusted as another old +lady who found herself opposite a stalwart working man, who incensed her +by his frequent expectoration. Gathering her skirts round her somewhat +ample form, she called the conductor and asked:-- + +'Is spitting allowed in this tram?' + +'By all manes, me lady,' was the gallant reply, 'shpit anywhere you +like.' + +While alluding to trams, I cannot forbear relating one other Dublin +tale, which Lord Morris picked up from me and was fond of telling. Its +brief course runs thus:-- + +'Would you tell me, if you plaze, where I'll find the Blackrock tram?' +asked a fussy little old woman of a policeman, busily engaging in +manoeuvring the traffic of a crowded street. + +'In wan minute you'll find it in the shmall of your back,' was the +laconic reply. + +The mere allusion to a query suggests how the British tourist invariably +starts trying to discuss the Irish question directly he is across the +Channel, and the insoluble part to any Saxon is that half the Irish do +not seem to desire a solution at all. + +'What a fine country this would be if it were peaceful,' observed a +thoughtful Britisher, with a Cook's ticket in his pocket, on Killarney +Lake. + +'Peace! What would we do with it?' was the scornful reply of his +boatman, surprised for once into ejaculating the truth. + +Some landlords know how hopeless it is to attempt to prevail against +these sons of our epoch. + +'It has been of no use to hold up a candle to the hydra-headed devil,' +said one landlord to me about his tenants, 'for affability is more +expensive than absenteeism. If I say, "Good morning, Tom," the fellow +expects twenty per cent. off the rent, and "How's your family?" is +considered to imply forty per cent, abatement'--and that cannot be +called putting a premium on good fellowship from the landlord's point of +view. + +I have not said much about the way in which the Irish in America foster +insurrection, because it does not come within my own province. But I +have before me the type-written essay on the subject composed by a Kerry +landlord, who, in his lifetime, had exceptional opportunities of judging +of this in New York, and from it I am tempted to take a few sentences as +the manuscript is never likely to see the light of print. + +'There are three distinct types of the Irish-American Home Ruler, who +have been and are even now supporting with their dollars or their +eloquence, the "Irish Cause" as it is somewhat vaguely termed +throughout the United States. They can be distinguished as follows:-- + + '1. The American--born Irishman of immediate Irish descent. + + '2. The native Irishman who has emigrated from Ireland. + + '3. The American Irish-American of long American descent, who, though + not inheriting a drop of Irish blood, is yet a vigorous if not + obstreperous ally of the Irish party in America. This last is the most + striking of the three, as on the face of it, he would not appear to + have any logical _raison d'etre_ as a political entity, but in reality + exerts a powerful influence in favour of "the Cause." + +'One phase of the methods favoured by Irish-American Home Rulers is the +ingenuity with which cable reports, as printed in the newspapers, are +utilised for platform purposes. Let an account be flashed under the +Atlantic descriptive of some agrarian demonstration in Ireland, which +having been declared illegal, is dispersed by military. Forthwith the +opportunity is seized, and on some public platform or at some big +banquet, the fervid orator poses as the champion of human liberty. +"Another British outrage upon the Irish people! A brutal and licentious +soldiery let loose to gag free speech and prevent, at the point of the +bayonet, the exercise of the rights of freeman. Thank God, that you and +I my Irish-American fellow-citizens, are living in this glorious +republic, where such things are impossible!" + +'After hearing this amazing outburst, it is well to recall actual facts, +and compare the methods of suppressing riots in the United States and +the United Kingdom. For example, on July 12, 1871, a number of Orangemen +had organised a procession through the principal thoroughfares of New +York, which was resented by a large contingent of Catholic Irishmen, and +on a violent collision ensuing, the State militia was called out to +restore order, a task they most effectually accomplished by firing +volleys into the crowd of belligerents. The citizen soldiery of America +are accustomed to adopt summary measures with impunity. They possess the +resolution of the Irish constabulary without the uncomfortable +vacillation of Dublin Castle to thwart their efforts.' + +In the past the Irish vote in America has been hostile to England, and +has had much to do with that measure of ill-feeling in the United States +which has deterred that Union of the Anglo-Saxon races that would enable +them to lick creation. + +An example may be cited in the case of Egan. This man was an ex-Fenian +leader, who wielded much influence in Nationalistic circles as far back +as the seventies, and when he was Treasurer of the Land League, he is +described by Mr. Michael Davitt--who ought to have a fine capacity for +discriminating degrees of scoundrelism--as the most active and able of +the Nationalist leaders in Dublin. Some time after the Phoenix Park +murders he settled in the United States, and whilst distinguishing +himself by the exceptional violence of his appeals on behalf of +outrageous Ireland, he was actually sent as American Minister to Chili. +This would not have caused me to notice him here but because it is +necessary the community should be warned that, unlike a good many of his +contemporaries and comrades, he is not an extinct volcano. On March 10 +of this current year, when still the chief Nationalist in the States, he +had a long interview with Count Cassini, the Russian Minister at the +Russian Embassy at Washington, just before a meeting of all the +diplomatic representatives, and the American correspondent of the +_Morning Post_ does not hesitate to accuse Russia of financially +assisting the cause which Egan fosters. This sort of thing ought not to +be ignored in England. As an international action, it is hitting below +the belt, and when bad times come again to Ireland the Nationalists will +look to the Ministers of the Great Bear for funds, and are not likely to +be disappointed. Still it is curious that a Government which, at home, +exiles Nihilists and other bomb-throwers should, abroad, give +contributions to the cause that instigated the blowing up of my house, +and the outrages which rendered Ireland so notorious. + +Not many years ago my wife was once more seriously alarmed at Edenburn +by the formidable proclivities of a man P----, who sat all day at my +gate with a gun, which he said he used for shooting rabbits: but we all +knew I was the rabbit he wanted to put in his bag. However, he has gone +to another sphere, and I am spending the present summer of 1904 very +happily in the same county. + +A couple of letters addressed there showing the way in which an old +widow expresses herself, when after great labour she has delivered +herself of an epistle, may not prove undiverting. The point is the +amount she can obtain from her children. + + +'Samuel Mr. Hussey Esq. + +Sir--I hope you will be good enough to speak to Downing to give me +Justice. They have any amount of cattle, 2 horses, and my son-in-law's +wife carried 78 pounds book account before Mr. Downing got the case in +hands I would get 2 hundred pounds. I think it little for me according +to the means that was theirs. Now sir, two daughters very ritch sir +minding milk and butter and the one taking it away and selling it. My +son is not wright in his health or mind. They turned him against me and +he is more foolish than your Honour would believe. He says he will give +his uncle that ran away long ago to America mortgage, that Mr. Downing +gave him power to do what he like and those two daughters are very well +off and they will not allow me to do anything. Sir I am shamed of the +way they are treating me. My health and mind is very good, thanks be to +God and to you two Sir. They would not give me the price of the habit +that was berried with their father. Sir it would not pay my debts and +support me long. My father lived 100 years. The Judge said I would live +longer. Sir three hundred pounds is little enough for me according to +the means that is theirs. If I went into the workhouse I would not take +what they wish to give me. L160 they are giving me and I have my +Confidence in God and in your Honour's charity that you will be good +enough to speak for me. If the land don't sell to 5 hundred pounds I +will give it back to the attorney. Will your Honour tell them and I'll +pray to God sir ever to bless you. + +Faithfully, + +MARY LUCY.' + + +And the same dame favoured me with this further effusion: + + +'Mr. Hussey Esq. + +Sir--100 pounds was offered to me before the purchase, a foolish priest +making little of me, himself trying to get it for his friends. The +Bishop, Sir, is kind to me always. For he knows I was wronged and he +don't like the foolish priest, and when I complain of him he is very +good. Sir some good people tell me that anyone at all have no claim but +myself and I wish it was true as all is very valuable. Mr. Connor is +very truthful and nice to me Sir when I will see him I am very sure he +will wish me well and all the good Honourable Gentlemen and yourself are +the best of all to my equals. I know it very well and I will for ever +pray to God in Heaven for you. + +Faithfully, + +MARY LUCY.' + + +So a landlord and agent, even in 1904, still has a few of the +patriarchal attributes in the eyes of the tenants. But to sift wheat +from chaff is easier than to sift truth from the lying blandishments +employed on such occasions. + +The reference to the priest shows that though always feared, when the +land-passion seizes a parishioner, he is set at as much defiance as +possible, should he be moderate, and these are the only occasions when +they venture to tell their confessor unpleasant truths to his face, for +in some country districts they are still convinced that the priests have +power to transform them into frogs and mice. + +A priest once threatened a bibulous parishioner, that if he did not +become more sober in his habits, he would change him into a mouse. + +'Biddy, me jewel, I can't believe Father Pat would have that power over +me,' said the man that same evening as the shadows fell, 'but all the +same you might as well shut up the cat.' + +Over elections the priests have paramount influence as I have already +shown, but may cite an example at the last County election in Kerry, +when three candidates stood, Sir Thomas Esmonde (Anti-Parnellite), Mr. +Harrington (Parnellite), and Mr. Palmer (Conservative). The last-named +out of a poll of six thousand obtained seventy votes. One of them was +given after the following fashion. + +An illiterate voter at Killorglin being asked in the polling booth how +he wished to vote, replied:-- + +'For my parish priest.' + +'But he is not a candidate. The three are Esmonde, Palmer, and +Harrington.' + +'Well, then, I'll vote for Palmer, because it is more like Father Lawler +than the others.' + +Naturally all concerned were convulsed with laughter, but the vote was +duly recorded. + +It is no uncommon thing to see priests carefully teaching illiterate +voters the appearance of the name of the candidate for whom they are to +poll, and also giving them printed cards merely containing his name, so +that they can recognise it on the voting-card. + +Of course an Irishman would take a bribe one way and calmly vote +another. But even this diplomatic tendency is outwitted by the priests, +for nowadays, when they have any doubt of the political sincerity of a +man, they insist on his declaring himself an illiterate voter. Then the +whole question of who is to be voted for is gone through audibly and +verbally, so that the honesty of the voter is known to those hanging +round. In the parish of Milltown, the education is as complete as in any +in Ireland, but at the last election, one third of the voters confessed +themselves illiterate, with the result anticipated by the priest. + +If the priest understands his parishioner--a thing which admits of no +possible shadow of doubt--it is equally certain that the Englishman does +not, as is shown by the following frivolous tale, always a favourite of +mine. + +'Paddy,' said a tourist at Killarney, 'I'll give you sixpence if you'll +tell me the biggest lie you ever told in your life.' + +'Begorra, your honour's a gentleman! Give me the sixpence!' + +No one would have thought of making such an offer to an English loafer, +and no English loafer would have had the wit to so neatly earn his +emolument. + +It is the assumption of simplicity that does the trick, and so well is +that put on that it comes close to the real thing. + +The other day, when the King and Queen were at Punchestown, a Britisher +chartered a car at Naas to drive out to the course, and on the way +remonstrated with the carman on the starved condition of his horse, +whose ribs would have served for an anatomical study. + +'Well, your honour,' the jarvey explained, 'it's an unlucky horse.' + +'How unlucky?' asked the Englishman. + +'Well, it's this way, your honour. Each morning I toss with that horse +whether he shall have his feed of oats or I have my glass of whisky, and +would your honour credit it, the horse has lost these ten days past.' + +I am reminded of the reply given by Lord Derby to a gentleman who sent +him a dozen of very light claret, which he said would suit his gout. +Lord Derby subsequently thanked him, but said he preferred the gout, and +I have no doubt that that horse, had he been able to give tongue, would +have been an ardent upholder of teetotalism when it ensured him a feed +of oats. + +One more story of Lord Derby, as I have just mentioned his name:-- + +A worthy trader had bothered him to let him stand for a certain borough +on the Tory ticket, but the Whig was returned unopposed on the day of +the nomination, and the candidate was subsequently attacked by Lord +Derby for not coming forward as he had promised. + +The man was almost as shaky in his aspirates as in his political +propensities, and his reply was:-- + +'I would have stood, my lord, but there was a 'itch in the way.' + +'It was the more necessary for you to come to the scratch,' was the +immediate retort. + +I always find that story popular at the Carlton, where I spend my +afternoons when in London. I was proposed by Mr. James Lowther and +seconded by the Duke of Marlborough, and very much obliged have I been +to them both, for I have many acquaintances there, and it has all the +conveniences of a comfortable hotel, without having to pay extravagantly +for the privilege of looking at a waiter. + +In the intervals of reading the papers and listening to other people, I +have there, as elsewhere, endeavoured to impart what I know to others +who know nothing about Ireland. They know much more about China or the +aboriginal tribes of Australia, in London, than they do on the topics +dearest to me. + +An English Radical member, after a long chat with my son Maurice, +observed:-- + +'You actually mean to say that if Home Rule were given to Ireland you +would not be allowed to reside there?' + +'Certainly not,' replied Maurice, who knew what he was talking about. + +The member replied that he could not believe him, but that if he had +known that that was the real nature of the Bill he would never have +voted for it. + +I could not desire a better example of English wisdom on this +subject--one which Lord Rosebery has consigned to a distant date in +futurity, foreseeing that if the Opposition are to be handicapped with +Home Rule they will not stand a forty to one chance at the next +election. + +That election will, of course, turn on Protection, and I am therefore +tempted to quote from an article I contributed to _Murray's Magazine_ in +July 1887, entitled 'After the Crimes Bill, What Next?' for I feel my +forecast of over fourteen years ago may serve a useful purpose to-day. +It ran thus:-- + +'In my next suggestion I feel that I am treading on dangerous ground; +still, having undertaken to suggest a remedy for Irish discontent and +anarchy, I must not shrink from offending the prejudices of some of the +wise men of England. + +'Ireland is an agricultural country. There are in Ulster, as in England +and Scotland, factories which support the greater portion of the +population, and cause the prosperity of the province; but outside of +Ulster, cattle and butter are the staple products. And how does Ireland +stand in her only market, England, as compared with other nations? She +enjoys free trade in butter, no doubt, but so do France and Holland; but +these countries, while they find an open market in England, tax all +English and Irish productions, and being manufacturing countries +themselves they can afford to sell butter at so cheap a rate as to swamp +Ireland's market. A slight protective duty on foreign butter would be +hailed with gratitude in Ireland, and do more to allay discontent than +any further acts of so-called "generosity." + +'Again, the great thinly peopled countries of the West find in England a +free market for cattle and flour, and America taxes very highly all +English goods. Why not place Ireland on a par with America, by levying a +slight protective duty on American beef and flour? Every little village +in Ireland formerly had its flour mill, which worked up the corn grown +in the country as well as imported grain. These mills are now generally +idle and the men who worked them ruined. A small duty on manufactured +flour would restore this industry, and enable men with some capital to +give employment to labour, and to work up in small quantities for the +farmer, at a cheap rate, their home-grown corn, as well as to grind +imported grain. Our own colonies may have, no doubt, a right to object +to our taxing their goods, but not so foreign countries. + +'The Free Trade system of England would, no doubt, have been successful +if reciprocated. But the question is worth considering, whether the +English people do not now lose more by taxation resulting from the +chronic state of rebellion in Ireland than she gains by bringing in +American beef and flour, and foreign butter and butterine, free, to the +impoverishment of Ireland, and of the agricultural portions of England +and Scotland? "Remedial measures" for an agricultural country are +certainly not those which spoil its market.' + +Don't dismiss that as pre-Chamberlainese Protection for it is sheer +common-sense on a matter of national importance, and what I wrote in +1887, after many years, has become part of the political convictions of +a great and an increasing party. + +I wonder what the Protective party will be like when it eventually comes +into office. Promises out of office are often the whale which only +produces the sprat of legislation when the time of fulfilment arrives. +This is an impartial opinion on most Cabinets of the last fifty years. + +One of the few occasions on which a recent British Government has +recently shown some signs of appreciating a really keen and capable man +was when they made Mr. Ellison Macartney, Master of the Mint. + +I wrote and congratulated him, observing that I hoped he would never be +short of money, but if that was his plight all he had to do was to coin +it for himself. + +I have a bad recollection for faces, and one day in Dublin his father +came up to me, and seeing I did not remember him, recalled a story with +which I had amused him in the lobby of the House of Commons. + +It was to this effect, and may prove new to others:-- + +Coming out of Glasgow one evening two Irishmen waylaid a Scotsman for +the sake of plunder. He was nearly enough for them both, but numbers +prevailed, and when they had mastered him, after searching his pockets, +they only found three halfpence. + +Said one Hibernian to the other:-- + +'Glory be to the Saints, Mick, what a fight he made for three +halfpence.' + +'Oh,' replied the other, 'it was the mercy of the Lord he had not +tuppence, or he'd have killed the pair of us.' + +Killing suggests the Kerry militia, the corps in which no one dies +except of good fellowship, one which has done a good deal to unite the +divergent interests of north and south Kerry, and which provides fine +physical development for soldiers of all ranks. + +Last year the militia received a grant of L120 from Government to be +expended on route marching with the band through the county in order to +promote recruiting. The net haul in the Milltown district was the +village idiot, who promised to enlist after the next sessions if the +jailer did not take him--he being apprehensive of committal to prison. + +But even this was not enough, for his mother came to a neighbouring +magistrate, weeping and praying for his remission, because-- + +'It was a drunken freak on Patrick, for if the lad had kept his senses, +sure, he would never have done it.' + +Another Kerry man being asked why his son did not enlist, replied:-- + +'Ah, Jamsie was not a big enough scamp for the militia, because you have +to be a great blackguard before you can get in there.' + +Which shows that the camel and needle's eye trick is easier to perform +than to induce a country-bred man to enlist in the King's militia; +though once in, every fellow loves it. + +This intimation of an army suggests an anecdote of the past war-time. +The militia was being embodied, and several landlords who held +commissions were going under canvas with the corps at Gosport. One of +his tenants stopped a popular landlord on the road and asked:-- + +'What do you want to go to be shot at by them Boers for, sir?' + +'To be sure, Tim, my tenants have the first right to shoot me, have they +not?' was the prompt reply. + +The fellow roared with laughter at the retort, and after shaking hands, +wished him luck. + +It was also characteristic of Irish proclivities for a soft-voiced woman +on the estate to say to Miss Leeson Marshall:-- + +'When the war broke out first we were all praying that the English might +be beaten out of South Africa. Then when Mr. Marshall went away to the +army, we thought we should not like his side to lose, so we changed our +prayers round by the blessing of God and His Saints.' + +If any real impression has been given in these pages of the inconsistent +Irish character, the genuine character of this sentiment will be +comprehensible. It has been said that an Irishman will tell the truth +about everything except one thing--that, of course, is a horse. When not +engaged in shooting his landlord, the tenant is by no means disaffected +to him, whilst the female appurtenances, mindful of all the small doles +they obtain, are much more voluble in their cordial protestations. + +Sometimes the women are enigmatical: one does not know if they are +acting out of kindness or from duplicity. For example, not so long ago a +girl came up to one of my daughters in the road and said to her:-- + +'For the love of God tell your mother to order your father's coffin for +he'll need it, the Saints preserve us.' + +And with that she started away before there was time to reply. + +Nothing came of it, of course: nothing ever has, of real importance. + +Nothing, alas, also seems so often to be the verdict on life when +looking back. Mine, however, has been too full a one, not only with +griefs and trials but also with happiness and fun, for me to dismiss it +thus. There has been so much more to live through than to write about, +and yet, in these pages, has been told something which would have gone +for ever untold if I had not in old age become garrulous. Things +forgotten have been recalled to my mind and may prove suggestive to +other people who read them, and it is my hope, in concluding, that I +have provided diversion and a little food for reflection. + +I feel that a critic may consider too much that has been set down here +is disconnected, yet if he will let a gramophone record an animated +conversation, he will find that it ebbs and flows with the uncertain +babbling of a brook--and so it has been with me. Only the other day, in +the preface to Camden's _History of the British Islands_, I came across +the phrase:-- + +'bookes receive their doome according to the reader's capacitie,' + +and that alone emboldens me to hope for some measure of success for the +present volume. Readers do not always want serious subjects, and it is +in an hour when they desire a little diversion that I hope my +reminiscences may commend themselves, for in a phrase not unknown in my +native Kerry, this book consists of 'little things, and that away.' + + +THE END + + + + +INDEX + + +Abbey of St. Denis, Paris, 79. +Abbeyfeale, 253, 259. +Abercorn, Duke of, 165. +Aberdeen, Earl of, 167-168. +---- Lady, 167-168. +Acts-- + Arrears, 183, 184, 197. + Crimes, 183, 262. + Encumbered Estate, 71. + Habeas Corpus Suspension, 225. + Irish Church, 44, 180-181. + Land, _see under_ Land. + Riot, 251. + Union, of, 180. + Westminster, of 1871, 251. +Adams, Mr. Gould, of Kilmachill, 207. +Aghabey, 83. +Aghadoe, 3, 95, 254. +Agriculture, Commission on, 268. +Albert, Prince, 163. +America, Irish dissatisfaction fostered in, 289; + Home Rulers in, 289-290. +Anderson, Rev. J.A., O.S.A., 99. +Ardfert, 3. +Argyll, Duke of, 174. +Ashbourne, Lord, 286. +Athenry, 171. +Avonmore, Lord, 12. + +Balfour, Mr. A.J., Chief Secretaryship of, 172-174. +---- Mr. Gerald, Chief Secretaryship of, 172-173. +---- of Burleigh, Lord, 274. +Ballincushlane, 121. +Ballot, effects of introduction, 194. +Bally M'Elligott, 6. +Ballybeggan, 4. +Ballybunion, 90. +Ballyporeen, Petty Sessions at, 164. +Ballyvourney parish, 71, +Bandon, Lord, 121. +Bantry, 13, 39, 52. +Barry, Lord Justice, 21-22, 216. +Barter, Dr., of Cork, 147. +Bartlett, Sir Ellis Ashmead, 112. +Batt, Father, 123-124. +Beaconsfield, Earl of, 122, 167. +'Beal-Bo,' 90-91. +Beaufort, fenianism in, 254. +Belfast, population of, 176. +Bernard, Mr. Edward Morrogh, 265-266. +---- Mrs. Morrogh, 265-266. +Bessborough, Earl of, 270. +Bewlay, Mr., 274. +Bianconi, Mr. Charles, 78. +Biggar, Mr., Parnell Commission on, 278-280. +Bishops, nomination of, 122. +Blarney, monument at, 116. +Blasquet Islands, Lord Cork's property in, 200. +Blennerhassett, Mr. Arthur, 258. +---- Mr. and Mrs. Robert, 3. +---- Mr. Roland, K.C., 95, 96. +Bodkin, Galway family of, 7. +Bogs, need for draining of, 141-142. +Bogue, Farmer, 32-34, 110. +Boycott, Captain, 213. +Boycotting, 213, 214, 249, 250; + Mr. Parnell on, 216-217. +Brady, Lord Chancellor, 75. +Breaing, value of land at, 259. +Bright Clauses, the, 82. +Bright, Mr. Jacob, 177. +---- Mr. John, 177. +Brown, Valentine, 3-4. +Buccleuch, Duke of, 268. +Buller, Sir Redvers, 157. +Burke, Mr. T.H., 252. +Burns, David, steward at Ardrum, 107. +Byrne, Mr., 89. + +Cadogan, Earl of, 169. +Cahirciveen, fenianism at, 66, 152; + drink traffic at, 113; + poverty of, 214. +Cahirnane, sale of, by Hussey family, 5. +Cairns, Lord, 122, 271. +Callaghan, Michael, 273. +Callinafercy estate, 144, 159. +Carden, Woodcock,' 255. +Carew Manuscript, the, 4. +Carlingford, Lord, Mr. Chichester Fortescue, 165, 169, 204, 268, 269. +Carlisle, Earl of, 162-163. +Carlton Club, 117, 188, 297. +Carlyle, Mr. Thomas, 283. +Carnarvon, Earl of, 167. +Cassini, Count, 291. +Castle Gregory, Walter Hussey, owned by, 4. +Castleisland, opposition to Mr. Hussey at, 84, 214, 215; + Mr. Dease assaulted at, 95; + drink traffic at, 102, 103. +Castle of Doon, ruins of, 91. +Castle-Drum, land owned by Hussey family at, 2. +Castlerosse, Lord, 153-154. +Cattle, outrages on, 220-221. +Cavanagh, Mr., 152. +---- Mrs., 152-153. +Cavendish, Lord Frederick, 174, 252. +Chamberlain, Mr. Joseph, 86, 165, 175. +Characteristics of Irish nature, 140-161. +Charlestown, Land League outrage at, 253. +Chatelherault, dukedom of, claimed by Duke of Abercorn, 165. +Chief Secretaries-- + Balfour, Mr. A.J., 172-173. + ---- Mr. Gerald, 172-173. + Forster, Mr. W.E., 170-173. + Fortescue, Mr. Chichester (Lord Carlingford), 169. + Lowther, Mr. James, 172, 174. + Morley, Mr. John, 175. + Naas, Lord, 169. + Peel, Sir Robert, 169, 170. + Trevelyan, Sir George, 174-175. +Childers, Mr., Royal Commission, on, 181, 284. +Christian, Lord Justice, 83, 89. +Clare, Earl of (Col. Fitzgibbon), 164. +Clarendon, Earl of, 163. +Clergy-- + Protestant, 120-122. + Roman Catholic, 115-120. +Clonbrook, Lord, 287. +Clonmel, Earl of, 287. +Cobbe, Miss, 57, 177. +Coffey, Bishop, 119. +---- Denis, 257. +Colthurst, Sir George, 38, 49, 96; + Ballyvourney, estate of, 208; + Rathcole estate, outrages on, 212. +Commissions on Land Question, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 268-280; + Parnell case, 275-280. +Connor, Jeremiah, 245. +---- Thomas, 245. +Constabulary, the, 127-132. +Conway, Captain, 3. +---- Miss Avis (Mrs. Robert Blennerhassett), 3. +Corelli, Miss Marie, 98. +Cork and Orrery, Earl of, 199, 200, 218. +_Cork Constitutional_, Edenburn outrage, on the, 239-240. +---- _Examiner_, the, 96, 97, 244. +Corkaquiny, barony of, castles of the Hussey family in, 2. +Corn Law question, 51. +Corragun, Sir Dominic, 132. +County Club, Cork, 49. +---- ---- Tralee, 97, 111, 242. +Cowen, Mr. Joseph, 204. +Cowper, Earl, 166; + Commission of, on Land Act, 271-272. +Cox, Sir William, 13. +Creameries, establishment of, 161. +Crime in Kerry, Judge O'Brien on, 229-234. +Crosbie, Bishop John, 3. +---- Colonel, 229. +Cruickshank family, the, 261. +Curraghila, land value at, 259. + +_Daily Telegraph_, the, 222, 255. +Daly, Cornelius, Denis, and John, 245. +Davitt, Mr. Michael, 202, 260, 277, 278, 291. +De Bruce, Edward, 13. +De Freyne case, 118. +De Huse, Herbert, 6. +---- or Hussy, Nicholas, 6. +De la Huse, family name of Hussey, 6. +De Lacy, Hugh, Earl of Ulster, 6. +Dease, Mr., assault on, 95, 97. +---- Sir Gerald, 95. +Deasy, Lord Justice, 83. +Delane, Anne, 272. +Denny, Edmund, 3. +---- family, 8. +---- Miss, the 'Princess Royal,' 8. +---- Mr. Francis, 155. +Derby, Lord, Land League, threats from, 40; + Archbishop Magee, opinion of, 44; + anecdote of, 296. +Derrynane Bay, smuggling at, 24. +Desmond, Countess of, 282. +Devonshire, Duke of, 269. +Dillon, Mr., 79. +Dillwyn, Mr., 94. +Dinan, Jeremiah, 245. +Dingle, Hussey family settled at, 2; + present day, 5, 6; + yeomanry corps of, 14; + poverty of, 214. +Dispensaries, 135-139. +Doctors, dispensary, appointment of, 132. +Dolly's Brae, Orange procession at, 163. +Don, the O'Conor, 270. +Doneghan, Mr., 42-43. +Donelly, Mr. William, 52. +Donoughmore, Lady, 8. +Donovan, Sir Henry, 99. +Douglas, Mr., 57. +Downing, Miss Ellen, 'Mary,' 63. +---- Mr., 292. +Dowse, Baron, land purchase, opinion on, 205; + boycotting on, 214; + Grand Jury of Kerry, address to, 261; + commission on the Land Law, on, 270. +Doyle family, 250. +Drink, prevalence of, 101-114. +Dublin, population of, 176. +Dudley, Lord, 169. +Dufferin, Lord, 185. +Duffy, Mr. Charles Gavan, 100. +Dun, Mr. Finlay, 192-193, 207, 209. +Dunraven, Lord, 173, 271. + +Edenburn, home of Mr. Hussey at, 73, 80-81; + outrage at, 235-247. +Egan, Patrick, 291. +Elections in Kerry, description of, 93-100. +Emigration, agents' treatment of emigrants, 57; + American offer to, 57-58. +Emmett, Robert, 156. +Engineering Surveyors' Institution, 42. +Erne, Lord, 213. +Esmonde, Sir Thomas, 294. +Evictions, number of, on Lord Kenmare's estate, 221. + +Faith, Mr. George, 46. +Famine, the, 50-59. +Farms, sub-divisions of, 36. +Farranfore, evictions at, 251. +Fenianism, 60-70. +FitzGerald, family of, 3. +---- Lady (Miss Julia Hussey), 16. +---- Mr., member of Land Commission, 274. +---- Mrs., 173. +---- Mrs. Robert (Miss Ellen Hussey), 16. +---- Richard, 245. +---- Sir Peter (Knight of Kerry), 16. +Fitzpatrick, Sir Denis, 189. +FitzWalter, Theobald, 6. +Flaherty, Tim, 48. +Forster, Mr. Arnold, 171. +---- Mr. W.E., Chief Secretary, 163, 169, 170-172; + criticism, sensitiveness to, 211; + quoted, 216. +Free Trade, 51, 299. +_Freeman_, the, 96. +French, Mr., 222. +Froude, Mr. J.A., Mr. Hussey and, + friendship between, 5, 177, 227, 282-285. +Fry Commission, the, 185, 272. +---- Sir Edward, 272. + +Gadstone and Ellis, Messrs., 258. +Generals, famous Irish, 156-157. +Gentleman, Mr. Goodman, 82. +---- Mr. Henry, 24.5. +Geraldine family, the, 192. +Gladstone, Mr.-- + Irish emigration, attitude towards, 58. + Legislation, effects of, 60-61, 67, 108, 131, 179-193. + Letter to, from Mr. Arthur Blennerhassett, 258-259. + Mr. Hussey and, 84, 177-178. + Mr. W.E. Forster and, 170, 171. + Nationalist party, attitude towards, 195-196. +---- Mrs., anecdotes of, 45, 287. +Glasgow, morality of, 36. +_Globe_, the, 256. +Godfrey, Dowager Lady, 73. +---- Sir John, 154, 155. +Gough, Lord, 157. +Granard, Earl of, 118, 259. +Grant, Mr., 193. +Granville, Earl, 165. +Graves, Mr., 48. +Griffin, Andrew, 264. +Guest, Sir Ivor, 166. +Guillamore, Chief Baron, 160. +Gull, Mr., 132. + +Haggerty, Jeremiah, outrage on, 217. +Harenc estate, the, bought by Mr. Samuel Hussey, 82-92, 278; + Land Act, effect on, 274. +Harenc, Mr., death of, 82. +Harnett, Mr., 251. +Harrington, Mr. T., 263-264, 294. +Harris, Mr. Matthew, 251. +Headley, Lord, 254, 255. +Henry, Mr. Mitchell, 204. +Herbert family, the, 5. +---- Mr. Charles, 3. +---- Mr. A.E., 252, 255; + murder of, 226-227. +---- Mr. William, 3. +Hewson, Mr., 84. +Hickson, Captain John,' Sovereign of Dingle,' anecdote of, 13-14. +---- Colonel, 273. +---- Mr., 79. +Hickson, Mr. Robert, 13. +---- Mrs., 53. +---- Mrs. Judith, 15. +Higgins, Bishop, 119. +Hitchcock, Mr., 6. +Hoffman, tenant of Mr. Hussey, case of, 273. +Hogan, William, 245. +Hogg, Mr., 21. +Home Rule Bill, 282, 287, 297. +---- ---- Party, the, 194-195. +---- Rulers, Irish-American, 289-290. +Hore, Mr., house and haggards of, burnt, 4. +Houghton, Lord, 168-169. +Howorth, Sir Henry, 285-286. +Huddard's School at Dublin, 20-21. +Huddleston, Mr. Henry, house of, burnt, 4. +Husse, Sir Hugh, 6. +Hussey, origin of name, 6. +---- Colonel Maurice, 5-6, 100. +---- Miss Anne, 19. +---- ---- Clarissa, 126. +---- ---- Mary, 16. +---- Mr. Edward, 16. +---- ---- James, 15-16, 19. +---- ---- John, brother of Mr. Samuel, 15. +---- ---- ---- son of Mr. Samuel, 16. +---- ---- Maurice, 16, 253, 297. +---- ---- Michael, M.P. for Dingle, 7. +---- ---- 'Red Precipitate,' 10, 12, 15. +---- ---- Robert, 16. +---- ---- Samuel, M., parentage of, 10-12; + early life and education of, 20-29; + farming, 30-37; + land agent in Cork, 38 _et seq._; + to Colthurst property, 71; + candidature of, for Parliament, 96, 98; + Irish Land Act Commission, evidence before, 205-206, 268-280; + press criticisms of, 209-210, 248, 255, 256, 275; + Land Leaguers, threats from, 214, 224, 235-247; + Edenburn outrage, 235-247; + 'Woodcock,' 255; + land sales, series of, letter to the _Times_ regarding, 259; + _Times_, letter to, _re_ Mr. Harrington, 263-264; + Parnell Commission, evidence before, 276-280; + Froude, friendship with, 282-285; + Sir Henry Howorth, friendship with, 285-286; + Protection, opinion on, 297-299. +---- ---- Walter, 4. +Hussey, Mrs. (Miss Mary Hickson), 53; + descent of, 12-13. +---- ---- Samuel (Miss Julia Agnes Hickson), 13. +---- Sir John, Earl of Galtrim, 6. + + +Inch East and Ardroe, 258. +---- Island, 258. +Industries, 142. +Inniscarra, 38. +_Irish Citizen_, the, 248. +Irish Land Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 205, 270-275. +Iveragh, barony of, 18. + +Jeffreys, Mr., 49. +Jenkinson, Mr., 246. +Jenner, Mr., 132. +Johnson, Judge, 83. + +Kanturk, 108. +Keagh, Judge, anecdote of, 87-88; + opinion of Irishmen, 130. +Kellegher, Mr. Jerry, anecdotes of, 10-12. +Kellehers, the, 88. +Kelly, Miss Mary, 'Eva,' 63. +Kenmare family, the, 3. +---- Earl of, succession to title, 95; + expenditure on estate improvements, 152, 196, 209, 221; + anecdote of, 153; + criticisms of, 209, 255; + House of Commons, debate on estate of, 221; + departure from Ireland, 224. +---- district, poverty of, 214. +Kerry, population, etc., of, 36-37; + clergy and churches in, 119 +_Kerry Sentinel_, Edenburn outrage, on the, 240. +Kilcockan parish, land value in, 193. +Kilcoleman, woods of, 155. +Kildare Street Club, 49. +Killarney, crime in, 66, 214. +---- House, home of Lord Kenmare, 115, 209. +Killeentierna House, home of Mr. A. Herbert, 226. +---- parish, church revenue of, 121. +Killiney parish, property of Hussey family in, 4. +Killorglin, Puck Fair at, 95, 104, 105; + voting at, 294. +Kilmainham gaol, 68. +Kilronan, evictions at, 258. +Kimberley, Earl of (Lord Wodehouse), 164, 165. +Kitchener, Lord, 157. + +Laing, Mr., M.P. for Orkney, 198-199, 200. +Land Acts, Wyndham, the, 40, 41, 58, 187-188, 192; + Ashbourne, the, 41, 264; + Balfour's, of 1896, 84; + Gladstone's, of 1870, 181, 185-186; + of 1881, 71, 181-189; + effects of, 196-200, 274, 282. +Land League-- + Church and, 118. + Effects of, 199-200, 202, 208. + Outrages of, 199, 212-222, 246, 248, 267. +Le Fanu, Mr. W.R., 77. +----Mr. Sheridan, 77. +Leary, Darby, 245. +Lecky, Mr., 100, 283. +Leehys, the, feud of, 88. +Lefevre, Mr. Shaw, Commission of, 269. +Lehunt, Colonel, 4. +Leinster, Duchess of, 169. +Leitrim, Lord, 226. +Limerick, Mr. Hogg's school at, 21. +Lismore, famine fever at, 54; + agricultural depression in, 193; + estate of Duke of Devonshire at, 269-270. +Listowel, crime in, 87, 214. +Lloyd, Mr. Clifford, 128. +Lockwood, Mr. Frank, 277. +Logue, Dr., Archbishop of Armagh, 118. +Lombard and Murphy, Messrs., 83. +Londonderry, Marquis of, 168. +Longfield, Judge, 258. +Longford, clerical help for Lord Granard in, 118. +Lord-Lieutenants-- + Abercorn, Duke of, 165. + Aberdeen, Earl of, 167-168. + Cadogan, Earl of, 169. + Carlisle, Earl of, 162-163. + Carnarvon, Earl of, 167. + Clarendon, Earl of, 163. + Cowper, Earl, 166. + Dudley, Earl of, 169. + Houghton, Lord, 168-169. + Kimberley, Earl of, 164. + Londonderry, Marquis of, 168. + Marlborough, Duke of, 165-166. + Spencer, Earl, 166-167. + Zetland, Earl of, 168. +Lower Curryglass, agricultural depression in, 193. +Lowther, Mr. James, 172, 174, 297. +Lucy, Mary, letters of, to Mr. Hussey, 292-293. +Luxnow, 83. + +Macaulay, Dr., 117. +Macartney, Mr. Ellison, 299. +MacCarthy, Bishop, 119. +---- Florence, 4. +---- Mr., 115. +MacCarty, Mr. Daniel, 18. +MacGregor, Sir Duncan, 128. +Magee, Archbishop, 35, 44-45. +Magheries, the, owned by the Hussey family, 4. +Maguire, Mr., M.P. for Cork, 43. +Mahaffy, Prof., 252. +_Manchester Guardian_ on the Edenburn outrage, 238-239. +Marlborough, Duchess of, 206. +---- Duke of, 165-166, 297. +Marriage customs, 142-146. +Marshall, Miss Leeson, 301. +---- Mr. Leeson, 144, 159, 206; + anecdote of, 301. +Martin, Miss, books of, 30. +---- Mr. Richard, M.P., 55. +---- Mr. Robert, 274. +Mason, John, 245. +Matthew, Father, 61, 101-102. +Maynooth, 116, 118, 122, 180. +M'Calmont, Captain, 261. +M'Carthy, Mr. Justin, 264. +M'Cowan, Mr., of Tralee, 220. +M'Elligott, John, 245. +Merry, Mr. Andrew, 120. +Milnes, Mr. Monckton, 168. +Millstreet, crime in, 217, 222. +Milltown, voting at, 295. +---- Fair, price of cattle at, 273. +Minard Castle, 4. +Minerals, 142. +Mitchel, Mr. John, 55, 64. +Monaghan, Chief Justice, 87. +Monk, Lord, 94. +Monsell, Hon. Mrs., 65. +Moore, Mr. Crosbie, 164-165. +Moriarty, Dr., Bishop of Killarney, 66, 67, 119. +Morley, Mr., 170, 175-176, 177, 178. +_Morning Post_, 291. +Morris, Lord, anecdotes of, 69, 76, 87, 137, 167-168, 170, 254-255, 288. +---- Mr. Edward, 111-112. +Mountmorres, Lord, 226. +Moynihar, Michael, 245. +Muckross, 5, 166. +Mueller, Prof. Max, 131. +Mullins, Miss, 8. +Murder, encouragement of, 227-228. +Murphy, Cornelius, murder of, 231. +---- Mr., 88. +---- Patrick, of Rath, case of, 222. +Murray, George, 13. +---- Judith, 13. +---- Mrs. William (Miss Anne Grainger), 13. +---- ---- (Miss Ann Hornswell), 13. +---- Sir Walter, Lord of Drumshegrat, 12. +---- Mr. William, 13. +_Murray's Magazine_, 297. + +Naas, Lord, 169. +---- posting arrangements at, 31. +Nagle, Mr., 46-47. +Nason family, 193. +National League Police, 250. +Nationalists, the, 196. +Neill, Daniel, 245. +Neligan, John, 245. +_New York Tablet_, the, 210. +Nicoll, Mrs., 241. +Nield, Mr., 253. +Nolan, Mr., of Ballinderry, 55. +Normanton, Lord, 259. + +O'Brien, Judge, address to Grand Jury on state of Kerry, 228-234. +---- Smith, 64-65. +O'Connell, Mr. Daniel, anecdotes of, 10, 160; + family of, 24-25. +---- ---- ---- (junior), 152. +---- ---- John, 25. +---- ---- Morgan, 24. +---- ---- Philip, anecdote of, 48. +---- Mrs., 78. +---- Sir James, 25-26. +O'Connor, Father M., 92. +---- Fergus, anecdote of, 76. +---- Mr. T.P., 62. +O'Conor Don, the, 270. +O'Donnell _v._ the _Times_, 274. +O'Donoghue, Rev. Denis, 96. +---- the, 221; + election of, 98-99. +O'Hagan, Lord, 89. +Oliver, Colonel, 199. +Ormsby, Judge, 82, 83. +O'Shaughnessy, Mr., 273. +O'Shea, Daniel, 210, 255. +O'Sullivan, James, 245. + +Palmer, Mr., 294. +Parliament, Irish Members of, 194 _et seq._ +Parnell Commission, 68, 104, 275-280. +---- Mr., fenian leadership of, 65, 156; + Lord Carnarvon and, 167; + Land League and, 195, 202, 216; + speech quoted on boycotting, 249. +Parnellism and crime, 275. +Peel, Sir Robert, 51, 76. +---- ---- ---- (the younger), 169. +Pembroke, Earl of, 271. +Phoenix Park murder, the, 252. +---- Society, the, 65. +Pigott, Richard, 275-276. +Pitt, Mr. William, 180. +Plunkett, Mr. T.O., 222. +---- Sir Horace, 161. +Price, Professor Bohnamy, 268. +Protection, Mr. Hussey on, 297-299. +Puck Fair, 95, 104-105. +Punchestown, 296. + +Quill, Patrick, 273. + +Ray, Mr. Jack, anecdote of, 154-155. +Regiura Donum, Presbyterian grant, 180. +Reid, Mr., 277. +----Sir Wemyss, 171, 211. +Reynolds, Alderman John, 75-76. +----John, 245. +Richmond and Gordon, Duke of, 204, 268. +Roberts, Earl, 157. +Roche, Mr. R., 240. +Roden, Lord, 163. +Ronayne, Mr. Joseph, M.P. for Cork, 46. +Rosebery, Earl of, 171. +Ross, Judge, 41. +Rossa, O'Donovan, 65. +Rossbeigh, Land League at, 266. +Royal Commission on Agriculture, 204. +Russell, Lord John, 51, 163. +----Sir Charles, 276-277. + +Sadler, Colonel, 4. +Saint Alban's, Holborn, Church of, 122. +Saint Anne's, Soho, Church of, 34. +Saint James's Club, 57. +Salisbury, Lord, Commission on Land Act of 1881, 271. +Sandes, Mr., 97. +Savings Banks, increase of deposits, 191. +Saxe, Marshal, anecdote of, 62-63. +Schoolmasters, appointment of, 133. +Scottish character, 35-36. +Scully, Mr., 94. +Sexton, Mr., 222. +Shaftesbury, Lord, 122. +Shanahan, Robert, 151. +----Thomas, 245. +Shaw, Mr., 270. +Sheehan, Mr., 252. +Sheehy, Father, 252. +Shiel, Sir George, 122. +Smerwick Harbour, 2. +Smith, Mr. Charles, historian, 2, 6. +----Sidney, 136. +Somerville, Miss, 30. +Spencer, Lord, anecdote of, 166-167; + Land Act, opinion on, 203; + Coercion Act, opinion on, 225. +Spiddal, 137. +Standford, Mr., 99. +Stansfield, Lord, 204. +_Star_ newspaper, 275. +Stephen, Sir James, quoted, 250-251. +Stevens, Captain, 110. +Stephens, James, 'Number One,' 65, 68, 156. +Stuart, Mr., 258, +Sullivan, Sir Edward, 166. +_Sunday Democrat_ newspaper, 255. + +Tanner, Dr., 112. +Thackeray, William Makepeace, 78. +Thorneycroft, Colonel, 16. +_Times_ newspaper, the-- + Edenburn outrage, on the, 239, 242-243. + Encumbered Estate Act, quoted on, 71. + Mr. Hussey's letter to, on land values, 259; + Lord Kenmare's estate, 221. + O'Donnell _v._, 274-275. + Parnell Commission, Mr. Hussey's evidence before, 276-280. +Traill, Dr. Anthony, 272. +Tralee, drink traffic in, 113. + --County Club, 97, 111, 242. +Trant family, the, 107. +Trench, Mr. Steuart, famine described by, 50-51. + ----Townshend, 17, 277. +Trevelyan, Sir George, 174-175. +Trinity College, Dublin, 117. +Tucker, Sir Charles, 157. +Tulla, outrage at, 171, 216. +Tullamore, Mr. Forster's speech at, 216. +Tweedmouth, Lord, 167. +Tynan, 'Number One,' 65, 156. + +Union Club, 246. +_United Ireland_ newspaper, 244, 249, 251. +University, Roman Catholic, for Ireland, + Mr. Hussey's opinion regarding, 116-117. + +Ventry Harbour, 2, 4. +---- Lady, famine, help in, 53, 54. +---- Lord, 46. + +Wallace, Mr. Paul, 48. +Walsh, Dr., Archbishop of Dublin, 118. +Wellington, Duke of, 157, 163. +White, Mr. Richard, of Inchiclogh, 55. +---- Sir George, 157. +Whiteboys, 14, 61-62. +Whiteside, Chief Justice, 89. +Wilde, Lady, 'Speranza,' 63. +---- Oscar, 63. +Winn, Mr., 255. +Wolseley, Lord, 157, 283. +Wrench, Mr., 274. +Wright, Mr. Huntley, quoted, 101. +'Wuffalo Will,' 64. +Wyndham, Mr., 58, 129. + +York, Duke of, 173. +Youghal, 193. +Young Ireland Party, 63. +---- Mr., 99. + +Zetland, Earl of, 168. + + +Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE Printers to His Majesty +at the Edinburgh University Press + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reminiscences of an Irish Land +Agent, by S.M. Hussey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REMINISCENCES OF AN *** + +***** This file should be named 16450.txt or 16450.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/4/5/16450/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Debbie Stoddart and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + diff --git a/16450.zip b/16450.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..21b017a --- /dev/null +++ b/16450.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..188f321 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #16450 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/16450) |
