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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/15894-8.txt b/15894-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..944adcd --- /dev/null +++ b/15894-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1013 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Lifted Bandage, by Mary Raymond Shipman +Andrews + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Lifted Bandage + + +Author: Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews + +Release Date: May 24, 2005 [eBook #15894] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE*** + + +E-text prepared by David Garcia and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team from page images generously made available +by the Kentuckiana Digital Library (http://kdl.kyvl.org/) + + + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through + the Kentuckiana Digital Library. See + http://kdl.kyvl.org/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=kyetexts;cc= + kyetexts;xc=1&idno=B92-165-30098685&view=toc + + + + + +THE LIFTED BANDAGE + +by + +MARY RAYMOND SHIPMAN ANDREWS + +Author of "The Perfect Tribute," etc. + +New York +Charles Scribner's Sons + +1910 + + + + + + + +The man let himself into his front door and, staggering lightly, like a +drunken man, as he closed it, walked to the hall table, and mechanically +laid down his hat, but still wearing his overcoat turned and went into +his library, and dropped on the edge of a divan and stared out through +the leaded panes of glass across the room facing him. The grayish skin +of his face seemed to fall in diagonal furrows, from the eyes, from the +nose, from the mouth. He sat, still to his finger-tips, staring. + +He was sitting so when a servant slipped in and stood motionless a +minute, and went to the wide window where the west light glared through +leafless branches outside, and drew the shades lower, and went to the +fireplace and touched a match. Wood caught and crackled and a cheerful +orange flame flew noisily up the chimney, but the man sitting on the +divan did not notice. The butler waited a moment, watching, hesitating, +and then: + +"Have you had lunch, sir?" he asked in a tentative, gentle voice. + +The staring eyes moved with an effort and rested on the servant's face. +"Lunch?" he repeated, apparently trying to focus on the meaning of the +word. "Lunch? I don't know, Miller. But don't bring anything." + +With a great anxiety in his face Miller regarded his master. "Would you +let me take your overcoat, Judge?--you'll be too warm," he said. + +He spoke in a suppressed tone as if waiting for, fearing something, as +if longing to show sympathy, and the man stood and let himself be cared +for, and then sat down again in the same unrestful, fixed attitude, +gazing out again through the glittering panes into the stormy, tawny +west sky. Miller came back and stood quiet, patient; in a few minutes +the man seemed to become aware of him. + +"I forgot, Miller. You'll want to know," he said in a tone which went to +show an old bond between the two. "You'll be sorry to hear, Miller," he +said--and the dull eyes moved difficultly to the anxious ones, and his +voice was uninflected--"you'll be sorry to know that the coroner's jury +decided that Master Jack was a murderer." + +The word came more horribly because of an air of detachment from the +man's mind. It was like a soulless, evil mechanism, running unguided. +Miller caught at a chair. + +"I don't believe it, sir," he gasped. "No lawyer shall make me. I've +known him since he was ten, Judge, and they're mistaken. It's not any +mere lawyers can make me believe that awful thing, sir, of our Master +Jack." The servant was shaking from head to foot with intense rejection, +and the man put up his hand as if to ward off his emotion. + +"I wish I could agree with you," he said quietly, and then added, "Thank +you, Miller." And the old butler, walking as if struck with a sickness, +was gone. + +The man sat on the edge of the divan staring out of the window, minute +after minute; the November wind tossed the clean, black lines of the +branches backward and forward against the copper sky, as if a giant hand +moved a fan of sea-weed before a fire. The man sat still and stared. The +sky dulled; the delicate, wild branches melted together; the diamond +lines in the window blurred; yet, unmoved, unseeing, the eyes stared +through them. + +The burr of an electric bell sounded; some one came in at the front door +and came to the door of the library, but the fixed figure did not stir. +The newcomer stood silent a minute, two minutes; a young man in clerical +dress, boyish, with gray, serious eyes. At length he spoke. + +"May I come in? It's Dick." + +The man's head turned slowly and his look rested inquiringly on his +nephew. It was a minute before he said, as if recognizing him, "Dick. +Yes." And set himself as before to the persistent gazing through the +window. + +"I lost you at the court-house," the younger man said. "I didn't mean to +let you come home alone." + +"Thank you, Dick." It seemed as if neither joy nor sorrow would find a +way into the quiet voice again. + +The wind roared; the boughs rustled against the glass; the fire, soberly +settled to work, steamed and crackled; the clock ticked indifferently; +there was no other sound in the room; the two men were silent, the one +staring always before him, the other sitting with a hand on the older +man's hand, waiting. Minutes they sat so, and the wintry sky outside +darkened and lay sullenly in bands of gray and orange against the +windows; the light of the logs was stronger than the daylight; it +flickered carelessly across the ashiness of the emotionless face. The +young man, watching the face, bent forward and gripped his other hand on +the unresponsive one in his clasp. + +"Uncle," he asked, "will it make things worse if I talk to you?" + +"No, Dick." + +Nothing made a difference, it seemed. Silence or words must simply fall +without effect on the rock bottom of despair. The young man halted, as +if dismayed, before this overpowering inertia of hopelessness; he drew a +quick breath. + +"A coroner's jury isn't infallible. I don't believe it of Jack--a lot of +people don't believe it," he said. + +The older man looked at him heavily. "You'd say that. Jack's friends +will. I've been trained to weigh evidence--I must believe it." + +"Listen," the young man urged. "Don't shut down the gates like that. I'm +not a lawyer, but I've been trained to think, too, and I believe you're +not thinking squarely. There's other evidence that counts besides this. +There's Jack--his personality." + +"It has been taken into consideration." + +"It can't be taken into consideration by strangers--it needs years of +intimacy to weigh that evidence as I can weigh it--as you--You know best +of all," he cried out impulsively, "if you'll let yourself know, how +impossible it was. That Jack should have bought that pistol and taken it +to Ben Armstrong's rooms to kill him--it was impossible--impossible!" +The clinched fist came down on the black broadcloth knee with the +conviction of the man behind it. The words rushed like melted metal, +hot, stinging, not to be stopped. The judge quivered as if they had +stung through the callousness, touched a nerve. A faint color crawled +to his cheeks; for the first time he spoke quickly, as if his thoughts +connected with something more than gray matter. + +"You talk about my not allowing myself to believe in Jack. You seem +not to realize that such a belief would--might--stand between me and +madness. I've been trying to adjust myself to a possible scheme of +living--getting through the years till I go into nothingness. I can't. +All I can grasp is the feeling that a man might have if dropped from +a balloon and forced to stay gasping in the air, with no place in it, +nothing to hold to, no breath to draw, no earth to rest on, no end to +hope for. There is nothing beyond." + +"Everything is beyond," the young man cried triumphantly. "'The end,' as +you call it, is an end to hope for--it is the beginning. The beginning +of more than you have ever had--with them, with the people you care +about." + +The judge turned a ghastly look upon the impetuous, bright face. "If +I believed that, I should be even now perfectly happy. I don't see how +you Christians can ever be sorry when your friends die--it's childish; +anybody ought to be able to wait a few years. But I don't believe it," +he said heavily, and went on again as if an inertia of speech were +carrying him as an inertia of silence had held him a few minutes before. +"When my wife died a year ago it ended my personal life, but I could +live Jack's life. I was glad in the success and honor of it. Now the +success--" he made a gesture. "And the honor--if I had that, only the +honor of Jack's life left, I think I could finish the years with +dignity. I've not been a bad man--I've done my part and lived as seemed +right. Before I'm old the joy is wiped out and long years left. Why? +It's not reasonable--not logical. With one thing to hold to, with Jack's +good name, I might live. How can I, now? What can I do? A life must have +a _raison d'être._" + +"Listen," the clergyman cried again. "You are not judging Jack as fairly +as you would judge a common criminal. You know better than I how often +juries make mistakes--why should you trust this jury to have made none?" + +"I didn't trust the jury. I watched as I have never before known how to +watch a case. I felt my mind more clear and alert than common." + +"Alert!" he caught at the word. "But alert on the side of +terror--abnormally clear to see what you dreaded. Because you are +fair-minded, because it has been the habit of your life to correct at +once any conscious prejudice in your judgment, you have swayed to the +side of unfairness to yourself, to Jack. Uncle," he flashed out, "would +it tear your soul to have me state the case as I see it? I might, you +know--I might bring out something that would make it look different." + +Almost a smile touched the gray lines of his face. "If you wish." + +The young man drew himself into his chair and clasped his hands around +his knee. "Here it is. Mr. Newbold, on the seventh floor of the Bruzon +bachelor apartments, heard a shot at one in the morning, next his +bedroom, in Ben Armstrong's room. He hurried into the public hall, saw +the door wide open into Ben's apartment, went in and found Ben shot +dead. Trying to use the telephone to call help, he found it was out of +order. So he rushed again into the hall toward the elevator with the +idea of getting Dr. Avery, who lived below on the second floor. The +elevator door was open also, and a man's opera-hat lay near it on the +floor; he saw, just in time, that the car was at the bottom of the +shaft, almost stepping inside, in his excitement, before he noticed +this. Then he ran down the stairs with Jack's hat in his hand, and got +Dr. Avery, and they found Jack at the foot of the elevator shaft. It was +known that Ben Armstrong and Jack had quarrelled the day before; it was +known that Jack was quick-tempered; it is known that he bought that +evening the pistol which was found on the floor by Ben, loaded, with one +empty shell. That's the story." + +The steady voice stopped a moment and the young man shivered slightly; +his look was strained. Steadily he went on. + +"That's the story. From that the coroner's jury have found that Jack +killed Ben Armstrong--that he bought the pistol to kill him, and went +to his rooms with that purpose; that in his haste to escape, he missed +seeing that the elevator was down, as Mr. Newbold all but missed seeing +it later, and jumped into the shaft and was killed instantly himself. +That's what the jury get from the facts, but it seems to me they're +begging the question. There are a hundred hypotheses that would fit +the case of Jack's innocence--why is it reasonable to settle on the +one that means his guilt? This is my idea. Jack and Ben Armstrong had +been friends since boyhood and Jack, quick-tempered as he was, was +warm-hearted and loyal. It was like him to decide suddenly to go to Ben +and make friends. He had been to a play in the evening which had more +or less that _motif_; he was open to such influences. It was like +the pair of them, after the reconciliation, to set to work looking at +Jack's new toy, the pistol. It was a brand-new sort, and the two have +been interested always in guns--I remember how I, as a youngster, was +impressed when Ben and Jack bought their first shot-guns together. Jack +had got the pistol at Mellingham's that evening, you know--he was likely +to be keen about it still, and then--it went off. There are plenty of +other cases where a man has shot his friend by accident--why shouldn't +poor Jack be given the benefit of the doubt? The telephone wouldn't +work; Jack rushed out with the same idea which struck Mr. Newbold later, +of getting Dr. Avery--and fell down the shaft. + +"For me there is no doubt. I never knew him to hold malice. He was +violent sometimes, but that he could have gone about for hours with +a pistol in his pocket and murder in his heart; that he could have +planned Ben Armstrong's death and carried it out deliberately--it's +a contradiction in terms. It's impossible, being Jack. You must know +this--you know your son--you know human nature." + +The rapid _résumé_ was but an impassioned appeal. Its answer came +after a minute; to the torrent of eager words, three words: + +"Thank you, Dick." + +The absolute lack of impression on the man's judgment was plain. + +"Ah!" The clergyman sprang to his feet and stood, his eyes blazing, +despairing, looking down at the bent, listless figure. How could he let +a human being suffer as this one was suffering? Quickly his thoughts +shifted their basis. He could not affect the mind of the lawyer; might +he reach now, perhaps, the soul of the man? He knew the difficulty, +for before this his belief had crossed swords with the agnosticism of +his uncle, an agnosticism shared by his father, in which he had been +trained, from which he had broken free only five years before. He had +faced the batteries of the two older brains at that time, and come out +with the brightness of his new-found faith untarnished, but without, he +remembered, scratching the armor of their profound doubt in everything. +One could see, looking at the slender black figure, at the visionary +gaze of the gray wide eyes, at the shape of the face, broad-browed, +ovalled, that this man's psychic make-up must lift him like wings into +an atmosphere outside a material, outside even an intellectual world. +He could breathe freely only in a spiritual air, and things hard to +believe to most human beings were, perhaps, his every-day thoughts. He +caught a quick breath of excitement as it flashed to his brain that now, +possibly, was coming the moment when he might justify his life, might +help this man whom he loved, to peace. The breath he caught was a +prayer; his strong, nervous fingers trembled. He spoke in a tone whose +concentration lifted the eyes below him, that brooded, stared. + +"I can't bear it to stand by and see you go under, when there's help +close. You said that if you could believe that they were living, that +you would have them again, you would be perfectly happy no matter how +many years you must wait. They are living as sure as I am here, and as +sure as Jack was here, and Jack's mother. They are living still. Perhaps +they're close to you now. You've bound a bandage over your eyes, you've +covered the vision of your spirit, so that you can't see; but that +doesn't make nothingness of God's world. It's there--here--close, +maybe. A more real world than this--this little thing." With a boyish +gesture he thrust behind him the universe. "What do we know about the +earth, except effects upon our consciousness? It's all a matter of +inference--you know that better than I. The thing we do know beyond +doubt is that we are each of us a something that suffers and is happy. +How is that something the same as the body--the body that gets old +and dies--how can it be? You can't change thought into matter--not +conceivably--everybody acknowledges that. Why should the thinking part +die then, because the material part dies? When the organ is broken is +the organist dead? The body is the hull, the covering, and when it has +grown useless it will fall away and the live seed in it will stand free +to sunlight and air--just at the beginning of life, as a plant is when +it breaks through earth in the spring. It's the seed in the ground, +and it's the flower in the sunlight, but it's the same thing--the same +life--it is--it _is_." The boy's intensity of conviction shot like +a flame across the quiet room. + +"It is the same thing with us too. The same spirit-substance underlies +both worlds and there is no separation in space, only in view-point. +Life goes on--it's just transfigured. It's as if a bandage should be +lifted from our eyes and we should suddenly see things in whose presence +we had been always." + +The rushing, eager voice stopped. He bent and laid his hand on the older +man's and stared at his face, half hidden now in the shadows of the +lowering fire. There was no response. The heavy head did not lift and +the attitude was unstirred, hopeless. As if struck by a blow he sprang +erect and his fingers shut hard. He spoke as if to himself, brokenly. + +"He does not believe--a single word--I say. I can't help him--I +_can't_ help him." + +Suddenly the clinched fists flung out as if of a power not their own, +and his voice rang across the room. + +"God!" The word shot from him as if a thunderbolt fell with it. "God! +Lift the bandage!" + +A log fell with a crash into the fire; great battling shadows blurred +all the air; he was gone. + +The man, startled, drew up his bent shoulders, and pushed back a lock of +gray hair and stared about, shaking, bewildered. The ringing voice, the +word that had flashed as if out of a larger atmosphere--the place was +yet full of these, and the shock of it added a keenness to his misery. +His figure swung sideways; he fell on the cushions of the sofa and his +arms stretched across them, his gray head lying heedless; sobs that tore +roots came painfully; it was the last depth. Out of it, without his +volition, he spoke aloud. + +"God, God, God!" his voice said, not prayerfully, but repeating the +sound that had shocked his torture. The word wailed, mocked, reproached, +defied--and yet it was a prayer. Out of a soul in mortal stress that +word comes sometimes driven by a force of the spirit like the force of +the lungs fighting for breath--and it is a prayer. + +"God, God, God!" the broken voice repeated, and sobs cut the words. And +again. Over and over, and again the sobbing broke it. + +As suddenly as if a knife had stopped the life inside the body, all +sound stopped. A movement shook the man as he lay face down, arms +stretched. Then for a minute, two minutes, he was quiet, with a quiet +that meant muscles stretched, nerves alert. Slowly, slowly the tightened +muscles of the arms pushed the shoulders backward and upward; the head +lifted; the face turned outward, and if an observer had been there he +might have seen by the glow of the firelight that the features wet, +distorted, wore, more than all at this moment, a look of amazement. +Slowly, slowly, moving as if afraid to disturb something--a dream--a +presence--the man sat erect as he had been sitting before, only that the +rigidity was in some way gone. He sat alert, his eyes wide, filled with +astonishment, gazing before him eagerly--a look different from the dull +stare of an hour ago by the difference between hope and despair. His +hands caught at the stuff of the divan on either side and clutched it. + +All the time the look of his face changed; all the time, not at once, +but by fast, startling degrees, the gray misery which had bound eyes and +mouth and brow in iron dropped as if a cover were being torn off and a +light set free. Amazement, doubting, incredulous came first, and with +that eagerness, trembling and afraid. And then hope--and then the fear +to hope. And hunger. He bent forward, his eyes peered into the quiet +emptiness, his fingers gripped the cloth as if to anchor him to a +wonder, to an unbelievable something; his body leaned--to something--and +his face now was the face of a starved man, of a man dying from thirst, +who sees food, water, salvation. + +And his face changed; a quality incredible was coming into it--joy. He +was transformed. Lines softened by magic; color came, and light in the +eyes; the first unbelief, the amazement, shifted surely, swiftly, and in +a flash the whole man shone, shook with rapture. He threw out before him +his arms, reaching, clasping, and from his radiant look the arms might +have held all happiness. + +A minute he stayed so with his hands stretched out, with face glowing, +then slowly, his eyes straining as if perhaps they followed a vision +which faded from them--slowly his arms fell and the expectancy went from +his look. Yet not the light, not the joy. His body quivered; his breath +came unevenly, as of one just gone through a crisis; every sense seemed +still alive to catch a faintest note of something exquisite which +vanished; and with that the spell, rapidly as it had come, was gone. +And the man sat there quiet, as he had sat an hour before, and the face +which had been leaden was brilliant. He stirred and glanced about the +room as if trying to adjust himself, and his eyes smiled as they rested +on the familiar objects, as if for love of them, for pleasure in them. +One might have said that this man had been given back at a blow youth +and happiness. Movement seemed beyond him yet--he was yet dazed with the +newness of a marvel--but he turned his head and saw the fire and at that +put out his hand to it as if to a friend. + +The electric bell burred softly again through the house, and the man +heard it, and his eyes rested inquiringly on the door of the library. In +a moment another man stood there, of his own age, iron-gray, +strong-featured. + +"Dick told me I might come," he said. "Shall I trouble you? May I stay +with you awhile?" + +The judge put out his hand friendlily, a little vaguely, much as he had +put it out to the fire. "Surely," he said, and the newcomer was all at +once aware of his look. He started. + +"You're not well," he said. "You must take something--whiskey--Miller----" + +The butler moved in the room making lights here and there, and he came +quickly. + +"No," the judge said. "I don't want anything--I don't need anything. +It's not as you think. I'll tell you about it." + +Miller was gone; Dick's father waited, his gaze fixed on the judge's +face anxiously, and for moments no word was spoken. The judge gazed into +the fire with the rapt, smiling look which had so startled his +brother-in-law. At length: + +"I don't know how to tell you," he said. "There seem no words. Something +has happened, yet it's difficult to explain." + +"Something happened?" the other repeated, bewildered but guarded. "I +don't understand. Has some one been here? Is it about--the trial?" + +"No." A slight spasm twisted the smiling lines of the man's mouth, but +it was gone and the mouth smiled still. + +A horror-struck expression gleamed for a second from the anxious eyes of +the brother-in-law, but he controlled it quickly. He spoke gently. "Tell +me about it--it will do you good to talk." + +The judge turned from the fire, and at sight of his flushed cheeks and +lighted eyes the other shrank back, and the judge saw it. "You needn't +be alarmed," he said quietly. "Nothing is wrong with me. But something +has happened, as I told you, and everything--is changed." His eyes +lifted as he spoke and strayed about the room as if considering a change +which had come also to the accustomed setting. + +A shock of pity flashed from the other, and was mastered at once. "Can +you tell me what has happened?" he urged. The judge, his face bright +with a brightness that was dreadful to the man who watched him, held his +hand to the fire, turning it about as if enjoying the warmth. The other +shivered. There was silence for a minute. The judge broke it, speaking +thoughtfully: + +"Suppose you had been born blind, Ned," he began, "and no one had ever +given you a hint of the sense of vision, and your imagination had never +presented such a power to your mind. Can you suppose that?" + +"I think so--yes," the brother-in-law answered, with careful gentleness, +watching always the illumined countenance. "Yes, I can suppose it." + +"Then fancy if you will that all at once sight came, and the world +flashed before you. Do you think you'd be able to describe such an +experience?" + +The voice was normal, reflective. Many a time the two had talked +together of such things in this very room, and the naturalness of the +scene, and of the judge's manner, made the brother-in-law for a second +forget the tragedy in which they were living. + +"Why, of course," he answered. "If one had never heard of such a power +one's vocabulary wouldn't take in the words to describe it." + +"Exactly," the judge agreed. "That's the point I'm making. Perhaps now I +may tell you what it is that has happened. Or rather, I may make you +understand how a definite and concrete event has come to pass, which I +can't tell you." + +Alarm suddenly expressed itself beyond control in the brother-in-law's +face. "John, what do you mean? Do you see that you distress me? Can't +you tell clearly if some one has been here--what it is, in plain +English, that has happened?" + +The judge turned his dreamy, bright look toward the frightened man. "I +do see--I do see," he brought out affectionately. "I'll try to tell, as +you say, in plain English. But it is like the case I put--it is a +question of lack of vocabulary. A remarkable experience has occurred in +this room within an hour. I can no more describe it than the man born +blind could describe sight. I can only call it by one name, which may +startle you. A revelation." + +"A revelation!" the tone expressed incredulity, scarcely veiled scorn. + +The judge's brilliant gaze rested undisturbed on the speaker. "I +understand--none better. A day ago, two hours ago, I should have +answered in that tone. We have been trained in the same school, and have +thought alike. Dick was here a while ago and said things--you know what +Dick would say. You know how you and I have been sorry for the lad--been +indulgent to him--with his keen, broad mind and that inspired +self-forgetfulness of his--how we've been sorry to have such qualities +wasted on a parson, a religion machine. We've thought he'd come around +in time, that he was too large a personality to be tied to a treadmill. +We've thought that all along, haven't we? Well, Dick was here, and out +of the hell where I was I thought that again. When he talked I thought +in a way--for I couldn't think much--that after a consistent voyage of +agnosticism, I wouldn't be whipped into snivelling belief at the end, by +shipwreck. I would at least go down without surrendering. In a dim way I +thought that. And all that I thought then, and have thought through my +life, is nothing. Reasoning doesn't weigh against experience. Dick is +right." + +The other man sat before him, bent forward, his hands on his knees, +listening, dazed. There was a quality in the speaker's tone which made +it necessary to take his words seriously. Yet--the other sighed and +relaxed a bit as he waited, watched. The calm voice went on. + +"The largest event of my life has happened in the last hour, in this +room. It was this way. When Dick went out I--went utterly to pieces. +It was the farthest depth. Out of it I called on God, not knowing what +I did. And he answered. That's what happened. As if--as if a bandage +had been lifted from my eyes, I was--I was in the presence of +things--indescribable. There was no change, only that where I was blind +before I now saw. I don't mean vision. I haven't words to explain what +I mean. But a world was about me as real as this; it had perhaps always +been there; in that moment I was first aware of it. I knew, as if a door +had been opened, what heaven means--a condition of being. And I knew +another thing more personal--that, without question, it was right with +those I thought I had lost and that the horror which seemed blackest +I have no need to dread. I cannot say that I saw them or heard or +touched them, but I was with them. I understand, but I can't make you +understand. I told Dick an hour ago that if I could believe they were +living, that I should ever have them again, I should be perfectly happy. +That's true now. I believe it, and I am--perfectly happy." + +The listener groaned uncontrollably. + +"I know your thought," the judge answered the sound, and his eyes were +like lamps as he turned them toward the man. "But you're wrong--my mind +is not unhinged. You'll see. After what I've gone through, after facing +eternity without hope, what are mere years? I can wait. I know. I +am--perfectly happy." + +Then the man who listened rose from his chair and came and put a hand +gently on the shoulder of the judge, looking down at him gravely. "I +don't understand you very well, John," he said, "but I'm glad of +anything--of anything"--his voice went suddenly. "Will you wait for me +here a few minutes? I'm going home and I'll be back. I think I'll spend +the night with you if you don't object." + +"Object! Wait!" The judge looked up in surprise, and with that he +smiled. "I see. Surely. I'd like to have you here. Yes, I'll certainly +wait." + +Outside in the hall one might have heard the brother-in-law say a low +word or two to Miller as the man helped him on with his coat; then the +front door shut softly, and he was gone, and the judge sat alone, his +head thrown back against his chair, his face luminous. + +The other man swung down the dark street, rushing, agitated. As he came +to the corner an electric light shone full on him and a figure crossing +down toward him halted. + +"Father! I was coming to find you. Something extraordinary has happened. +I was coming to find you." + +"Yes, Dick." The older man waited. + +"I've just left Charley Owen at the house--you remember Charley Owen?" + +"No." + +"Oh, yes, you do--he's been here with--Jack. He was in Jack's class in +college--in Jack's and Ben Armstrong's. He used to go on shooting trips +with them both--often." + +"I remember now." + +"Yes, I knew you would." The young voice rushed on. "He has been away +just now--down in Florida shooting--away from civilization. He got all +his mail for a month in one lump--just now--two days ago. In it was a +letter from Jack and Ben Armstrong, written that night, written +together. Do you see what that means?" + +"What!" The word was not +a question, but an exclamation. +"What--Dick!" + +"Yes--yes. There were newspapers, too, which gave an account of the +trial--the first he'd heard of it--he was away in the Everglades. He +started instantly, and came on here when he had read the papers, and +realized the bearing his letter would have on the trial. He has +travelled day and night. He hoped to get here in time. Jack and Ben +thought he was in New York. They wrote to ask him to go +duck-shooting--with them. And, father--here's the most startling point +of it all." As the man waited, watching his son's face, he groaned +suddenly and made a gesture of despair. + +"Don't, father--don't take it that way. It's good--it's glorious--it +clears Jack. My uncle will be almost happy. But I wouldn't tell him at +once--I'd be careful," he warned the other. + +"What was it--the startling point you spoke of?" + +"Oh--surely--this. The letter to Charley Owen spoke of Jack's new +pistol--that pistol. Jack said they would have target-shooting with it +in camp. They were all crack shots, you know. He said he had bought it +that evening, and that Ben thought well of it. Ben signed the letter +after Jack, and then added a postscript. It clears Jack--it clears him. +Doesn't it, father? But I wouldn't tell my uncle just yet. He's not fit +to take it in for a few hours--don't you think so?" + +"No, I won't tell him--just yet." + +The young man's wide glance concentrated with a flash on his father's +face. "What is it? You speak queerly. You've just come from there. +How is he--how is my uncle?" + +There was a letterbox at the corner, a foot from the older man's +shoulder. He put out his hand and held to the lid a moment before he +answered. His voice was harsh. + +"Your uncle is--perfectly happy," he said. "He's gone mad." + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE*** + + +******* This file should be named 15894-8.txt or 15894-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/8/9/15894 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Lifted Bandage</p> +<p>Author: Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews</p> +<p>Release Date: May 24, 2005 [eBook #15894]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by David Garcia<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + from page images generously made available by the<br /> + Kentuckiana Digital Library <a href="http://kdl.kyvl.org/">http://kdl.kyvl.org/</a></h3> +<p> </p> +<table border="0" bgcolor="ccccff" cellpadding="10"> + <tr> + <td valign="top"> + Note: + </td> + <td> + Images of the original pages are available through + the Kentuckiana Digital Library. See + <a href="http://kdl.kyvl.org/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=kyetexts;cc=kyetexts;xc=1&idno=B92-165-30098685&view=toc"> + http://kdl.kyvl.org/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=kyetexts;cc=kyetexts;xc=1&idno=B92-165-30098685&view=toc</a> + </td> + </tr> +</table> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h1> + THE LIFTED BANDAGE +</h1> +<h3> +By +</h3> +<h2> +Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews +</h2> +<p style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0;"> +Author of "The Perfect Tribute," etc. +</p> +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> +<p style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0;"> + NEW YORK<br /> + Charles Scribner's Sons<br /> + <br /> + 1910 +</p> +<hr /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + THE LIFTED BANDAGE +</h2> +<p> +The man let himself into his front door and, staggering lightly, like a +drunken man, as he closed it, walked to the hall table, and mechanically +laid down his hat, but still wearing his overcoat turned and went into +his library, and dropped on the edge of a divan and stared out through +the leaded panes of glass across the room facing him. The grayish skin +of his face seemed to fall in diagonal furrows, from the eyes, from the +nose, from the mouth. He sat, still to his finger-tips, staring. +</p> +<p> +He was sitting so when a servant slipped in and stood motionless a +minute, and went to the wide window where the west light glared through +leafless branches outside, and drew the shades lower, and went to the +fireplace and touched a match. Wood caught and crackled and a cheerful +orange flame flew noisily up the chimney, but the man sitting on the +divan did not notice. The butler waited a moment, watching, hesitating, +and then: +</p> +<p> +"Have you had lunch, sir?" he asked in a tentative, gentle voice. +</p> +<p> +The staring eyes moved with an effort and rested on the servant's face. +"Lunch?" he repeated, apparently trying to focus on the meaning of the +word. "Lunch? I don't know, Miller. But don't bring anything." +</p> +<p> +With a great anxiety in his face Miller regarded his master. "Would you +let me take your overcoat, Judge?—you'll be too warm," he said. +</p> +<p> +He spoke in a suppressed tone as if waiting for, fearing something, as +if longing to show sympathy, and the man stood and let himself be cared +for, and then sat down again in the same unrestful, fixed attitude, +gazing out again through the glittering panes into the stormy, tawny +west sky. Miller came back and stood quiet, patient; in a few minutes +the man seemed to become aware of him. +</p> +<p> +"I forgot, Miller. You'll want to know," he said in a tone which went to +show an old bond between the two. "You'll be sorry to hear, Miller," he +said—and the dull eyes moved difficultly to the anxious ones, and his +voice was uninflected—"you'll be sorry to know that the coroner's jury +decided that Master Jack was a murderer." +</p> +<p> +The word came more horribly because of an air of detachment from the +man's mind. It was like a soulless, evil mechanism, running unguided. +Miller caught at a chair. +</p> +<p> +"I don't believe it, sir," he gasped. "No lawyer shall make me. I've +known him since he was ten, Judge, and they're mistaken. It's not any +mere lawyers can make me believe that awful thing, sir, of our Master +Jack." The servant was shaking from head to foot with intense rejection, +and the man put up his hand as if to ward off his emotion. +</p> +<p> +"I wish I could agree with you," he said quietly, and then added, "Thank +you, Miller." And the old butler, walking as if struck with a sickness, +was gone. +</p> +<p> +The man sat on the edge of the divan staring out of the window, minute +after minute; the November wind tossed the clean, black lines of the +branches backward and forward against the copper sky, as if a giant hand +moved a fan of sea-weed before a fire. The man sat still and stared. The +sky dulled; the delicate, wild branches melted together; the diamond +lines in the window blurred; yet, unmoved, unseeing, the eyes stared +through them. +</p> +<p> +The burr of an electric bell sounded; some one came in at the front door +and came to the door of the library, but the fixed figure did not stir. +The newcomer stood silent a minute, two minutes; a young man in clerical +dress, boyish, with gray, serious eyes. At length he spoke. +</p> +<p> +"May I come in? It's Dick." +</p> +<p> +The man's head turned slowly and his look rested inquiringly on his +nephew. It was a minute before he said, as if recognizing him, "Dick. +Yes." And set himself as before to the persistent gazing through the +window. +</p> +<p> +"I lost you at the court-house," the younger man said. "I didn't mean to +let you come home alone." +</p> +<p> +"Thank you, Dick." It seemed as if neither joy nor sorrow would find a +way into the quiet voice again. +</p> +<p> +The wind roared; the boughs rustled against the glass; the fire, soberly +settled to work, steamed and crackled; the clock ticked indifferently; +there was no other sound in the room; the two men were silent, the one +staring always before him, the other sitting with a hand on the older +man's hand, waiting. Minutes they sat so, and the wintry sky outside +darkened and lay sullenly in bands of gray and orange against the +windows; the light of the logs was stronger than the daylight; it +flickered carelessly across the ashiness of the emotionless face. The +young man, watching the face, bent forward and gripped his other hand on +the unresponsive one in his clasp. +</p> +<p> +"Uncle," he asked, "will it make things worse if I talk to you?" +</p> +<p> +"No, Dick." +</p> +<p> +Nothing made a difference, it seemed. Silence or words must simply fall +without effect on the rock bottom of despair. The young man halted, as +if dismayed, before this overpowering inertia of hopelessness; he drew a +quick breath. +</p> +<p> +"A coroner's jury isn't infallible. I don't believe it of Jack—a lot of +people don't believe it," he said. +</p> +<p> +The older man looked at him heavily. "You'd say that. Jack's friends +will. I've been trained to weigh evidence—I must believe it." +</p> +<p> +"Listen," the young man urged. "Don't shut down the gates like that. I'm +not a lawyer, but I've been trained to think, too, and I believe you're +not thinking squarely. There's other evidence that counts besides this. +There's Jack—his personality." +</p> +<p> +"It has been taken into consideration." +</p> +<p> +"It can't be taken into consideration by strangers—it needs years of +intimacy to weigh that evidence as I can weigh it—as you—You know best +of all," he cried out impulsively, "if you'll let yourself know, how +impossible it was. That Jack should have bought that pistol and taken it +to Ben Armstrong's rooms to kill him—it was impossible—impossible!" +The clinched fist came down on the black broadcloth knee with the +conviction of the man behind it. The words rushed like melted metal, +hot, stinging, not to be stopped. The judge quivered as if they had +stung through the callousness, touched a nerve. A faint color crawled +to his cheeks; for the first time he spoke quickly, as if his thoughts +connected with something more than gray matter. +</p> +<p> +"You talk about my not allowing myself to believe in Jack. You seem +not to realize that such a belief would—might—stand between me and +madness. I've been trying to adjust myself to a possible scheme of +living—getting through the years till I go into nothingness. I can't. +All I can grasp is the feeling that a man might have if dropped from +a balloon and forced to stay gasping in the air, with no place in it, +nothing to hold to, no breath to draw, no earth to rest on, no end to +hope for. There is nothing beyond." +</p> +<p> +"Everything is beyond," the young man cried triumphantly. "'The end,' as +you call it, is an end to hope for—it is the beginning. The beginning +of more than you have ever had—with them, with the people you care +about." +</p> +<p> +The judge turned a ghastly look upon the impetuous, bright face. "If +I believed that, I should be even now perfectly happy. I don't see how +you Christians can ever be sorry when your friends die—it's childish; +anybody ought to be able to wait a few years. But I don't believe it," +he said heavily, and went on again as if an inertia of speech were +carrying him as an inertia of silence had held him a few minutes before. +"When my wife died a year ago it ended my personal life, but I could +live Jack's life. I was glad in the success and honor of it. Now the +success—" he made a gesture. "And the honor—if I had that, only the +honor of Jack's life left, I think I could finish the years with +dignity. I've not been a bad man—I've done my part and lived as seemed +right. Before I'm old the joy is wiped out and long years left. Why? +It's not reasonable—not logical. With one thing to hold to, with Jack's +good name, I might live. How can I, now? What can I do? A life must have +a <i>raison d'être.</i>" +</p> +<p> +"Listen," the clergyman cried again. "You are not judging Jack as fairly +as you would judge a common criminal. You know better than I how often +juries make mistakes—why should you trust this jury to have made none?" +</p> +<p> +"I didn't trust the jury. I watched as I have never before known how to +watch a case. I felt my mind more clear and alert than common." +</p> +<p> +"Alert!" he caught at the word. "But alert on the side of +terror—abnormally clear to see what you dreaded. Because you are +fair-minded, because it has been the habit of your life to correct at +once any conscious prejudice in your judgment, you have swayed to the +side of unfairness to yourself, to Jack. Uncle," he flashed out, "would +it tear your soul to have me state the case as I see it? I might, you +know—I might bring out something that would make it look different." +</p> +<p> +Almost a smile touched the gray lines of his face. "If you wish." +</p> +<p> +The young man drew himself into his chair and clasped his hands around +his knee. "Here it is. Mr. Newbold, on the seventh floor of the Bruzon +bachelor apartments, heard a shot at one in the morning, next his +bedroom, in Ben Armstrong's room. He hurried into the public hall, saw +the door wide open into Ben's apartment, went in and found Ben shot +dead. Trying to use the telephone to call help, he found it was out of +order. So he rushed again into the hall toward the elevator with the +idea of getting Dr. Avery, who lived below on the second floor. The +elevator door was open also, and a man's opera-hat lay near it on the +floor; he saw, just in time, that the car was at the bottom of the +shaft, almost stepping inside, in his excitement, before he noticed +this. Then he ran down the stairs with Jack's hat in his hand, and got +Dr. Avery, and they found Jack at the foot of the elevator shaft. It was +known that Ben Armstrong and Jack had quarrelled the day before; it was +known that Jack was quick-tempered; it is known that he bought that +evening the pistol which was found on the floor by Ben, loaded, with one +empty shell. That's the story." +</p> +<p> +The steady voice stopped a moment and the young man shivered slightly; +his look was strained. Steadily he went on. +</p> +<p> +"That's the story. From that the coroner's jury have found that Jack +killed Ben Armstrong—that he bought the pistol to kill him, and went +to his rooms with that purpose; that in his haste to escape, he missed +seeing that the elevator was down, as Mr. Newbold all but missed seeing +it later, and jumped into the shaft and was killed instantly himself. +That's what the jury get from the facts, but it seems to me they're +begging the question. There are a hundred hypotheses that would fit +the case of Jack's innocence—why is it reasonable to settle on the +one that means his guilt? This is my idea. Jack and Ben Armstrong had +been friends since boyhood and Jack, quick-tempered as he was, was +warm-hearted and loyal. It was like him to decide suddenly to go to Ben +and make friends. He had been to a play in the evening which had more +or less that <i>motif</i>; he was open to such influences. It was like +the pair of them, after the reconciliation, to set to work looking at +Jack's new toy, the pistol. It was a brand-new sort, and the two have +been interested always in guns—I remember how I, as a youngster, was +impressed when Ben and Jack bought their first shot-guns together. Jack +had got the pistol at Mellingham's that evening, you know—he was likely +to be keen about it still, and then—it went off. There are plenty of +other cases where a man has shot his friend by accident—why shouldn't +poor Jack be given the benefit of the doubt? The telephone wouldn't +work; Jack rushed out with the same idea which struck Mr. Newbold later, +of getting Dr. Avery—and fell down the shaft. +</p> +<p> +"For me there is no doubt. I never knew him to hold malice. He was +violent sometimes, but that he could have gone about for hours with +a pistol in his pocket and murder in his heart; that he could have +planned Ben Armstrong's death and carried it out deliberately—it's +a contradiction in terms. It's impossible, being Jack. You must know +this—you know your son—you know human nature." +</p> +<p> +The rapid <i>résumé</i> was but an impassioned appeal. Its answer came +after a minute; to the torrent of eager words, three words: +</p> +<p> +"Thank you, Dick." +</p> +<p> +The absolute lack of impression on the man's judgment was plain. +</p> +<p> +"Ah!" The clergyman sprang to his feet and stood, his eyes blazing, +despairing, looking down at the bent, listless figure. How could he let +a human being suffer as this one was suffering? Quickly his thoughts +shifted their basis. He could not affect the mind of the lawyer; might +he reach now, perhaps, the soul of the man? He knew the difficulty, +for before this his belief had crossed swords with the agnosticism of +his uncle, an agnosticism shared by his father, in which he had been +trained, from which he had broken free only five years before. He had +faced the batteries of the two older brains at that time, and come out +with the brightness of his new-found faith untarnished, but without, he +remembered, scratching the armor of their profound doubt in everything. +One could see, looking at the slender black figure, at the visionary +gaze of the gray wide eyes, at the shape of the face, broad-browed, +ovalled, that this man's psychic make-up must lift him like wings into +an atmosphere outside a material, outside even an intellectual world. +He could breathe freely only in a spiritual air, and things hard to +believe to most human beings were, perhaps, his every-day thoughts. He +caught a quick breath of excitement as it flashed to his brain that now, +possibly, was coming the moment when he might justify his life, might +help this man whom he loved, to peace. The breath he caught was a +prayer; his strong, nervous fingers trembled. He spoke in a tone whose +concentration lifted the eyes below him, that brooded, stared. +</p> +<p> +"I can't bear it to stand by and see you go under, when there's help +close. You said that if you could believe that they were living, that +you would have them again, you would be perfectly happy no matter how +many years you must wait. They are living as sure as I am here, and as +sure as Jack was here, and Jack's mother. They are living still. Perhaps +they're close to you now. You've bound a bandage over your eyes, you've +covered the vision of your spirit, so that you can't see; but that +doesn't make nothingness of God's world. It's there—here—close, +maybe. A more real world than this—this little thing." With a boyish +gesture he thrust behind him the universe. "What do we know about the +earth, except effects upon our consciousness? It's all a matter of +inference—you know that better than I. The thing we do know beyond +doubt is that we are each of us a something that suffers and is happy. +How is that something the same as the body—the body that gets old +and dies—how can it be? You can't change thought into matter—not +conceivably—everybody acknowledges that. Why should the thinking part +die then, because the material part dies? When the organ is broken is +the organist dead? The body is the hull, the covering, and when it has +grown useless it will fall away and the live seed in it will stand free +to sunlight and air—just at the beginning of life, as a plant is when +it breaks through earth in the spring. It's the seed in the ground, +and it's the flower in the sunlight, but it's the same thing—the same +life—it is—it <i>is</i>." The boy's intensity of conviction shot like +a flame across the quiet room. +</p> +<p> +"It is the same thing with us too. The same spirit-substance underlies +both worlds and there is no separation in space, only in view-point. +Life goes on—it's just transfigured. It's as if a bandage should be +lifted from our eyes and we should suddenly see things in whose presence +we had been always." +</p> +<p> +The rushing, eager voice stopped. He bent and laid his hand on the older +man's and stared at his face, half hidden now in the shadows of the +lowering fire. There was no response. The heavy head did not lift and +the attitude was unstirred, hopeless. As if struck by a blow he sprang +erect and his fingers shut hard. He spoke as if to himself, brokenly. +</p> +<p> +"He does not believe—a single word—I say. I can't help him—I +<i>can't</i> help him." +</p> +<p> +Suddenly the clinched fists flung out as if of a power not their own, +and his voice rang across the room. +</p> +<p> +"God!" The word shot from him as if a thunderbolt fell with it. "God! +Lift the bandage!" +</p> +<p> +A log fell with a crash into the fire; great battling shadows blurred +all the air; he was gone. +</p> +<p> +The man, startled, drew up his bent shoulders, and pushed back a lock of +gray hair and stared about, shaking, bewildered. The ringing voice, the +word that had flashed as if out of a larger atmosphere—the place was +yet full of these, and the shock of it added a keenness to his misery. +His figure swung sideways; he fell on the cushions of the sofa and his +arms stretched across them, his gray head lying heedless; sobs that tore +roots came painfully; it was the last depth. Out of it, without his +volition, he spoke aloud. +</p> +<p> +"God, God, God!" his voice said, not prayerfully, but repeating the +sound that had shocked his torture. The word wailed, mocked, reproached, +defied—and yet it was a prayer. Out of a soul in mortal stress that +word comes sometimes driven by a force of the spirit like the force of +the lungs fighting for breath—and it is a prayer. +</p> +<p> +"God, God, God!" the broken voice repeated, and sobs cut the words. And +again. Over and over, and again the sobbing broke it. +</p> +<p> +As suddenly as if a knife had stopped the life inside the body, all +sound stopped. A movement shook the man as he lay face down, arms +stretched. Then for a minute, two minutes, he was quiet, with a quiet +that meant muscles stretched, nerves alert. Slowly, slowly the tightened +muscles of the arms pushed the shoulders backward and upward; the head +lifted; the face turned outward, and if an observer had been there he +might have seen by the glow of the firelight that the features wet, +distorted, wore, more than all at this moment, a look of amazement. +Slowly, slowly, moving as if afraid to disturb something—a dream—a +presence—the man sat erect as he had been sitting before, only that the +rigidity was in some way gone. He sat alert, his eyes wide, filled with +astonishment, gazing before him eagerly—a look different from the dull +stare of an hour ago by the difference between hope and despair. His +hands caught at the stuff of the divan on either side and clutched it. +</p> +<p> +All the time the look of his face changed; all the time, not at once, +but by fast, startling degrees, the gray misery which had bound eyes and +mouth and brow in iron dropped as if a cover were being torn off and a +light set free. Amazement, doubting, incredulous came first, and with +that eagerness, trembling and afraid. And then hope—and then the fear +to hope. And hunger. He bent forward, his eyes peered into the quiet +emptiness, his fingers gripped the cloth as if to anchor him to a +wonder, to an unbelievable something; his body leaned—to something—and +his face now was the face of a starved man, of a man dying from thirst, +who sees food, water, salvation. +</p> +<p> +And his face changed; a quality incredible was coming into it—joy. He +was transformed. Lines softened by magic; color came, and light in the +eyes; the first unbelief, the amazement, shifted surely, swiftly, and in +a flash the whole man shone, shook with rapture. He threw out before him +his arms, reaching, clasping, and from his radiant look the arms might +have held all happiness. +</p> +<p> +A minute he stayed so with his hands stretched out, with face glowing, +then slowly, his eyes straining as if perhaps they followed a vision +which faded from them—slowly his arms fell and the expectancy went from +his look. Yet not the light, not the joy. His body quivered; his breath +came unevenly, as of one just gone through a crisis; every sense seemed +still alive to catch a faintest note of something exquisite which +vanished; and with that the spell, rapidly as it had come, was gone. +And the man sat there quiet, as he had sat an hour before, and the face +which had been leaden was brilliant. He stirred and glanced about the +room as if trying to adjust himself, and his eyes smiled as they rested +on the familiar objects, as if for love of them, for pleasure in them. +One might have said that this man had been given back at a blow youth +and happiness. Movement seemed beyond him yet—he was yet dazed with the +newness of a marvel—but he turned his head and saw the fire and at that +put out his hand to it as if to a friend. +</p> +<p> +The electric bell burred softly again through the house, and the man +heard it, and his eyes rested inquiringly on the door of the library. In +a moment another man stood there, of his own age, iron-gray, +strong-featured. +</p> +<p> +"Dick told me I might come," he said. "Shall I trouble you? May I stay +with you awhile?" +</p> +<p> +The judge put out his hand friendlily, a little vaguely, much as he had +put it out to the fire. "Surely," he said, and the newcomer was all at +once aware of his look. He started. +</p> +<p> +"You're not well," he said. "You must take something—whiskey—Miller——" +</p> +<p> +The butler moved in the room making lights here and there, and he came +quickly. +</p> +<p> +"No," the judge said. "I don't want anything—I don't need anything. +It's not as you think. I'll tell you about it." +</p> +<p> +Miller was gone; Dick's father waited, his gaze fixed on the judge's +face anxiously, and for moments no word was spoken. The judge gazed into +the fire with the rapt, smiling look which had so startled his +brother-in-law. At length: +</p> +<p> +"I don't know how to tell you," he said. "There seem no words. Something +has happened, yet it's difficult to explain." +</p> +<p> +"Something happened?" the other repeated, bewildered but guarded. "I +don't understand. Has some one been here? Is it about—the trial?" +</p> +<p> +"No." A slight spasm twisted the smiling lines of the man's mouth, but +it was gone and the mouth smiled still. +</p> +<p> +A horror-struck expression gleamed for a second from the anxious eyes of +the brother-in-law, but he controlled it quickly. He spoke gently. "Tell +me about it—it will do you good to talk." +</p> +<p> +The judge turned from the fire, and at sight of his flushed cheeks and +lighted eyes the other shrank back, and the judge saw it. "You needn't +be alarmed," he said quietly. "Nothing is wrong with me. But something +has happened, as I told you, and everything—is changed." His eyes +lifted as he spoke and strayed about the room as if considering a change +which had come also to the accustomed setting. +</p> +<p> +A shock of pity flashed from the other, and was mastered at once. "Can +you tell me what has happened?" he urged. The judge, his face bright +with a brightness that was dreadful to the man who watched him, held his +hand to the fire, turning it about as if enjoying the warmth. The other +shivered. There was silence for a minute. The judge broke it, speaking +thoughtfully: +</p> +<p> +"Suppose you had been born blind, Ned," he began, "and no one had ever +given you a hint of the sense of vision, and your imagination had never +presented such a power to your mind. Can you suppose that?" +</p> +<p> +"I think so—yes," the brother-in-law answered, with careful gentleness, +watching always the illumined countenance. "Yes, I can suppose it." +</p> +<p> +"Then fancy if you will that all at once sight came, and the world +flashed before you. Do you think you'd be able to describe such an +experience?" +</p> +<p> +The voice was normal, reflective. Many a time the two had talked +together of such things in this very room, and the naturalness of the +scene, and of the judge's manner, made the brother-in-law for a second +forget the tragedy in which they were living. +</p> +<p> +"Why, of course," he answered. "If one had never heard of such a power +one's vocabulary wouldn't take in the words to describe it." +</p> +<p> +"Exactly," the judge agreed. "That's the point I'm making. Perhaps now I +may tell you what it is that has happened. Or rather, I may make you +understand how a definite and concrete event has come to pass, which I +can't tell you." +</p> +<p> +Alarm suddenly expressed itself beyond control in the brother-in-law's +face. "John, what do you mean? Do you see that you distress me? Can't +you tell clearly if some one has been here—what it is, in plain +English, that has happened?" +</p> +<p> +The judge turned his dreamy, bright look toward the frightened man. "I +do see—I do see," he brought out affectionately. "I'll try to tell, as +you say, in plain English. But it is like the case I put—it is a +question of lack of vocabulary. A remarkable experience has occurred in +this room within an hour. I can no more describe it than the man born +blind could describe sight. I can only call it by one name, which may +startle you. A revelation." +</p> +<p> +"A revelation!" the tone expressed incredulity, scarcely veiled scorn. +</p> +<p> +The judge's brilliant gaze rested undisturbed on the speaker. "I +understand—none better. A day ago, two hours ago, I should have +answered in that tone. We have been trained in the same school, and have +thought alike. Dick was here a while ago and said things—you know what +Dick would say. You know how you and I have been sorry for the lad—been +indulgent to him—with his keen, broad mind and that inspired +self-forgetfulness of his—how we've been sorry to have such qualities +wasted on a parson, a religion machine. We've thought he'd come around +in time, that he was too large a personality to be tied to a treadmill. +We've thought that all along, haven't we? Well, Dick was here, and out +of the hell where I was I thought that again. When he talked I thought +in a way—for I couldn't think much—that after a consistent voyage of +agnosticism, I wouldn't be whipped into snivelling belief at the end, by +shipwreck. I would at least go down without surrendering. In a dim way I +thought that. And all that I thought then, and have thought through my +life, is nothing. Reasoning doesn't weigh against experience. Dick is +right." +</p> +<p> +The other man sat before him, bent forward, his hands on his knees, +listening, dazed. There was a quality in the speaker's tone which made +it necessary to take his words seriously. Yet—the other sighed and +relaxed a bit as he waited, watched. The calm voice went on. +</p> +<p> +"The largest event of my life has happened in the last hour, in this +room. It was this way. When Dick went out I—went utterly to pieces. +It was the farthest depth. Out of it I called on God, not knowing what +I did. And he answered. That's what happened. As if—as if a bandage +had been lifted from my eyes, I was—I was in the presence of +things—indescribable. There was no change, only that where I was blind +before I now saw. I don't mean vision. I haven't words to explain what +I mean. But a world was about me as real as this; it had perhaps always +been there; in that moment I was first aware of it. I knew, as if a door +had been opened, what heaven means—a condition of being. And I knew +another thing more personal—that, without question, it was right with +those I thought I had lost and that the horror which seemed blackest +I have no need to dread. I cannot say that I saw them or heard or +touched them, but I was with them. I understand, but I can't make you +understand. I told Dick an hour ago that if I could believe they were +living, that I should ever have them again, I should be perfectly happy. +That's true now. I believe it, and I am—perfectly happy." +</p> +<p> +The listener groaned uncontrollably. +</p> +<p> +"I know your thought," the judge answered the sound, and his eyes were +like lamps as he turned them toward the man. "But you're wrong—my mind +is not unhinged. You'll see. After what I've gone through, after facing +eternity without hope, what are mere years? I can wait. I know. I +am—perfectly happy." +</p> +<p> +Then the man who listened rose from his chair and came and put a hand +gently on the shoulder of the judge, looking down at him gravely. "I +don't understand you very well, John," he said, "but I'm glad of +anything—of anything"—his voice went suddenly. "Will you wait for me +here a few minutes? I'm going home and I'll be back. I think I'll spend +the night with you if you don't object." +</p> +<p> +"Object! Wait!" The judge looked up in surprise, and with that he +smiled. "I see. Surely. I'd like to have you here. Yes, I'll certainly +wait." +</p> +<p> +Outside in the hall one might have heard the brother-in-law say a low +word or two to Miller as the man helped him on with his coat; then the +front door shut softly, and he was gone, and the judge sat alone, his +head thrown back against his chair, his face luminous. +</p> +<p> +The other man swung down the dark street, rushing, agitated. As he came +to the corner an electric light shone full on him and a figure crossing +down toward him halted. +</p> +<p> +"Father! I was coming to find you. Something extraordinary has happened. +I was coming to find you." +</p> +<p> +"Yes, Dick." The older man waited. +</p> +<p> +"I've just left Charley Owen at the house—you remember Charley Owen?" +</p> +<p> +"No." +</p> +<p> +"Oh, yes, you do—he's been here with—Jack. He was in Jack's class in +college—in Jack's and Ben Armstrong's. He used to go on shooting trips +with them both—often." +</p> +<p> +"I remember now." +</p> +<p> +"Yes, I knew you would." The young voice rushed on. "He has been away +just now—down in Florida shooting—away from civilization. He got all +his mail for a month in one lump—just now—two days ago. In it was a +letter from Jack and Ben Armstrong, written that night, written +together. Do you see what that means?" +</p> +<p> +"What!" The word was not +a question, but an exclamation. +"What—Dick!" +</p> +<p> +"Yes—yes. There were newspapers, too, which gave an account of the +trial—the first he'd heard of it—he was away in the Everglades. He +started instantly, and came on here when he had read the papers, and +realized the bearing his letter would have on the trial. He has +travelled day and night. He hoped to get here in time. Jack and Ben +thought he was in New York. They wrote to ask him to go +duck-shooting—with them. And, father—here's the most startling point +of it all." As the man waited, watching his son's face, he groaned +suddenly and made a gesture of despair. +</p> +<p> +"Don't, father—don't take it that way. It's good—it's glorious—it +clears Jack. My uncle will be almost happy. But I wouldn't tell him at +once—I'd be careful," he warned the other. +</p> +<p> +"What was it—the startling point you spoke of?" +</p> +<p> +"Oh—surely—this. The letter to Charley Owen spoke of Jack's new +pistol—that pistol. Jack said they would have target-shooting with it +in camp. They were all crack shots, you know. He said he had bought it +that evening, and that Ben thought well of it. Ben signed the letter +after Jack, and then added a postscript. It clears Jack—it clears him. +Doesn't it, father? But I wouldn't tell my uncle just yet. He's not fit +to take it in for a few hours—don't you think so?" +</p> +<p> +"No, I won't tell him—just yet." +</p> +<p> +The young man's wide glance concentrated with a flash on his father's +face. "What is it? You speak queerly. You've just come from there. +How is he—how is my uncle?" +</p> +<p> +There was a letterbox at the corner, a foot from the older man's +shoulder. He put out his hand and held to the lid a moment before he +answered. His voice was harsh. +</p> +<p> +"Your uncle is—perfectly happy," he said. "He's gone mad." +</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 15894-h.txt or 15894-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/8/9/15894">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/8/9/15894</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Lifted Bandage + + +Author: Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews + +Release Date: May 24, 2005 [eBook #15894] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE*** + + +E-text prepared by David Garcia and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team from page images generously made available +by the Kentuckiana Digital Library (http://kdl.kyvl.org/) + + + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through + the Kentuckiana Digital Library. See + http://kdl.kyvl.org/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=kyetexts;cc= + kyetexts;xc=1&idno=B92-165-30098685&view=toc + + + + + +THE LIFTED BANDAGE + +by + +MARY RAYMOND SHIPMAN ANDREWS + +Author of "The Perfect Tribute," etc. + +New York +Charles Scribner's Sons + +1910 + + + + + + + +The man let himself into his front door and, staggering lightly, like a +drunken man, as he closed it, walked to the hall table, and mechanically +laid down his hat, but still wearing his overcoat turned and went into +his library, and dropped on the edge of a divan and stared out through +the leaded panes of glass across the room facing him. The grayish skin +of his face seemed to fall in diagonal furrows, from the eyes, from the +nose, from the mouth. He sat, still to his finger-tips, staring. + +He was sitting so when a servant slipped in and stood motionless a +minute, and went to the wide window where the west light glared through +leafless branches outside, and drew the shades lower, and went to the +fireplace and touched a match. Wood caught and crackled and a cheerful +orange flame flew noisily up the chimney, but the man sitting on the +divan did not notice. The butler waited a moment, watching, hesitating, +and then: + +"Have you had lunch, sir?" he asked in a tentative, gentle voice. + +The staring eyes moved with an effort and rested on the servant's face. +"Lunch?" he repeated, apparently trying to focus on the meaning of the +word. "Lunch? I don't know, Miller. But don't bring anything." + +With a great anxiety in his face Miller regarded his master. "Would you +let me take your overcoat, Judge?--you'll be too warm," he said. + +He spoke in a suppressed tone as if waiting for, fearing something, as +if longing to show sympathy, and the man stood and let himself be cared +for, and then sat down again in the same unrestful, fixed attitude, +gazing out again through the glittering panes into the stormy, tawny +west sky. Miller came back and stood quiet, patient; in a few minutes +the man seemed to become aware of him. + +"I forgot, Miller. You'll want to know," he said in a tone which went to +show an old bond between the two. "You'll be sorry to hear, Miller," he +said--and the dull eyes moved difficultly to the anxious ones, and his +voice was uninflected--"you'll be sorry to know that the coroner's jury +decided that Master Jack was a murderer." + +The word came more horribly because of an air of detachment from the +man's mind. It was like a soulless, evil mechanism, running unguided. +Miller caught at a chair. + +"I don't believe it, sir," he gasped. "No lawyer shall make me. I've +known him since he was ten, Judge, and they're mistaken. It's not any +mere lawyers can make me believe that awful thing, sir, of our Master +Jack." The servant was shaking from head to foot with intense rejection, +and the man put up his hand as if to ward off his emotion. + +"I wish I could agree with you," he said quietly, and then added, "Thank +you, Miller." And the old butler, walking as if struck with a sickness, +was gone. + +The man sat on the edge of the divan staring out of the window, minute +after minute; the November wind tossed the clean, black lines of the +branches backward and forward against the copper sky, as if a giant hand +moved a fan of sea-weed before a fire. The man sat still and stared. The +sky dulled; the delicate, wild branches melted together; the diamond +lines in the window blurred; yet, unmoved, unseeing, the eyes stared +through them. + +The burr of an electric bell sounded; some one came in at the front door +and came to the door of the library, but the fixed figure did not stir. +The newcomer stood silent a minute, two minutes; a young man in clerical +dress, boyish, with gray, serious eyes. At length he spoke. + +"May I come in? It's Dick." + +The man's head turned slowly and his look rested inquiringly on his +nephew. It was a minute before he said, as if recognizing him, "Dick. +Yes." And set himself as before to the persistent gazing through the +window. + +"I lost you at the court-house," the younger man said. "I didn't mean to +let you come home alone." + +"Thank you, Dick." It seemed as if neither joy nor sorrow would find a +way into the quiet voice again. + +The wind roared; the boughs rustled against the glass; the fire, soberly +settled to work, steamed and crackled; the clock ticked indifferently; +there was no other sound in the room; the two men were silent, the one +staring always before him, the other sitting with a hand on the older +man's hand, waiting. Minutes they sat so, and the wintry sky outside +darkened and lay sullenly in bands of gray and orange against the +windows; the light of the logs was stronger than the daylight; it +flickered carelessly across the ashiness of the emotionless face. The +young man, watching the face, bent forward and gripped his other hand on +the unresponsive one in his clasp. + +"Uncle," he asked, "will it make things worse if I talk to you?" + +"No, Dick." + +Nothing made a difference, it seemed. Silence or words must simply fall +without effect on the rock bottom of despair. The young man halted, as +if dismayed, before this overpowering inertia of hopelessness; he drew a +quick breath. + +"A coroner's jury isn't infallible. I don't believe it of Jack--a lot of +people don't believe it," he said. + +The older man looked at him heavily. "You'd say that. Jack's friends +will. I've been trained to weigh evidence--I must believe it." + +"Listen," the young man urged. "Don't shut down the gates like that. I'm +not a lawyer, but I've been trained to think, too, and I believe you're +not thinking squarely. There's other evidence that counts besides this. +There's Jack--his personality." + +"It has been taken into consideration." + +"It can't be taken into consideration by strangers--it needs years of +intimacy to weigh that evidence as I can weigh it--as you--You know best +of all," he cried out impulsively, "if you'll let yourself know, how +impossible it was. That Jack should have bought that pistol and taken it +to Ben Armstrong's rooms to kill him--it was impossible--impossible!" +The clinched fist came down on the black broadcloth knee with the +conviction of the man behind it. The words rushed like melted metal, +hot, stinging, not to be stopped. The judge quivered as if they had +stung through the callousness, touched a nerve. A faint color crawled +to his cheeks; for the first time he spoke quickly, as if his thoughts +connected with something more than gray matter. + +"You talk about my not allowing myself to believe in Jack. You seem +not to realize that such a belief would--might--stand between me and +madness. I've been trying to adjust myself to a possible scheme of +living--getting through the years till I go into nothingness. I can't. +All I can grasp is the feeling that a man might have if dropped from +a balloon and forced to stay gasping in the air, with no place in it, +nothing to hold to, no breath to draw, no earth to rest on, no end to +hope for. There is nothing beyond." + +"Everything is beyond," the young man cried triumphantly. "'The end,' as +you call it, is an end to hope for--it is the beginning. The beginning +of more than you have ever had--with them, with the people you care +about." + +The judge turned a ghastly look upon the impetuous, bright face. "If +I believed that, I should be even now perfectly happy. I don't see how +you Christians can ever be sorry when your friends die--it's childish; +anybody ought to be able to wait a few years. But I don't believe it," +he said heavily, and went on again as if an inertia of speech were +carrying him as an inertia of silence had held him a few minutes before. +"When my wife died a year ago it ended my personal life, but I could +live Jack's life. I was glad in the success and honor of it. Now the +success--" he made a gesture. "And the honor--if I had that, only the +honor of Jack's life left, I think I could finish the years with +dignity. I've not been a bad man--I've done my part and lived as seemed +right. Before I'm old the joy is wiped out and long years left. Why? +It's not reasonable--not logical. With one thing to hold to, with Jack's +good name, I might live. How can I, now? What can I do? A life must have +a _raison d'etre._" + +"Listen," the clergyman cried again. "You are not judging Jack as fairly +as you would judge a common criminal. You know better than I how often +juries make mistakes--why should you trust this jury to have made none?" + +"I didn't trust the jury. I watched as I have never before known how to +watch a case. I felt my mind more clear and alert than common." + +"Alert!" he caught at the word. "But alert on the side of +terror--abnormally clear to see what you dreaded. Because you are +fair-minded, because it has been the habit of your life to correct at +once any conscious prejudice in your judgment, you have swayed to the +side of unfairness to yourself, to Jack. Uncle," he flashed out, "would +it tear your soul to have me state the case as I see it? I might, you +know--I might bring out something that would make it look different." + +Almost a smile touched the gray lines of his face. "If you wish." + +The young man drew himself into his chair and clasped his hands around +his knee. "Here it is. Mr. Newbold, on the seventh floor of the Bruzon +bachelor apartments, heard a shot at one in the morning, next his +bedroom, in Ben Armstrong's room. He hurried into the public hall, saw +the door wide open into Ben's apartment, went in and found Ben shot +dead. Trying to use the telephone to call help, he found it was out of +order. So he rushed again into the hall toward the elevator with the +idea of getting Dr. Avery, who lived below on the second floor. The +elevator door was open also, and a man's opera-hat lay near it on the +floor; he saw, just in time, that the car was at the bottom of the +shaft, almost stepping inside, in his excitement, before he noticed +this. Then he ran down the stairs with Jack's hat in his hand, and got +Dr. Avery, and they found Jack at the foot of the elevator shaft. It was +known that Ben Armstrong and Jack had quarrelled the day before; it was +known that Jack was quick-tempered; it is known that he bought that +evening the pistol which was found on the floor by Ben, loaded, with one +empty shell. That's the story." + +The steady voice stopped a moment and the young man shivered slightly; +his look was strained. Steadily he went on. + +"That's the story. From that the coroner's jury have found that Jack +killed Ben Armstrong--that he bought the pistol to kill him, and went +to his rooms with that purpose; that in his haste to escape, he missed +seeing that the elevator was down, as Mr. Newbold all but missed seeing +it later, and jumped into the shaft and was killed instantly himself. +That's what the jury get from the facts, but it seems to me they're +begging the question. There are a hundred hypotheses that would fit +the case of Jack's innocence--why is it reasonable to settle on the +one that means his guilt? This is my idea. Jack and Ben Armstrong had +been friends since boyhood and Jack, quick-tempered as he was, was +warm-hearted and loyal. It was like him to decide suddenly to go to Ben +and make friends. He had been to a play in the evening which had more +or less that _motif_; he was open to such influences. It was like +the pair of them, after the reconciliation, to set to work looking at +Jack's new toy, the pistol. It was a brand-new sort, and the two have +been interested always in guns--I remember how I, as a youngster, was +impressed when Ben and Jack bought their first shot-guns together. Jack +had got the pistol at Mellingham's that evening, you know--he was likely +to be keen about it still, and then--it went off. There are plenty of +other cases where a man has shot his friend by accident--why shouldn't +poor Jack be given the benefit of the doubt? The telephone wouldn't +work; Jack rushed out with the same idea which struck Mr. Newbold later, +of getting Dr. Avery--and fell down the shaft. + +"For me there is no doubt. I never knew him to hold malice. He was +violent sometimes, but that he could have gone about for hours with +a pistol in his pocket and murder in his heart; that he could have +planned Ben Armstrong's death and carried it out deliberately--it's +a contradiction in terms. It's impossible, being Jack. You must know +this--you know your son--you know human nature." + +The rapid _resume_ was but an impassioned appeal. Its answer came +after a minute; to the torrent of eager words, three words: + +"Thank you, Dick." + +The absolute lack of impression on the man's judgment was plain. + +"Ah!" The clergyman sprang to his feet and stood, his eyes blazing, +despairing, looking down at the bent, listless figure. How could he let +a human being suffer as this one was suffering? Quickly his thoughts +shifted their basis. He could not affect the mind of the lawyer; might +he reach now, perhaps, the soul of the man? He knew the difficulty, +for before this his belief had crossed swords with the agnosticism of +his uncle, an agnosticism shared by his father, in which he had been +trained, from which he had broken free only five years before. He had +faced the batteries of the two older brains at that time, and come out +with the brightness of his new-found faith untarnished, but without, he +remembered, scratching the armor of their profound doubt in everything. +One could see, looking at the slender black figure, at the visionary +gaze of the gray wide eyes, at the shape of the face, broad-browed, +ovalled, that this man's psychic make-up must lift him like wings into +an atmosphere outside a material, outside even an intellectual world. +He could breathe freely only in a spiritual air, and things hard to +believe to most human beings were, perhaps, his every-day thoughts. He +caught a quick breath of excitement as it flashed to his brain that now, +possibly, was coming the moment when he might justify his life, might +help this man whom he loved, to peace. The breath he caught was a +prayer; his strong, nervous fingers trembled. He spoke in a tone whose +concentration lifted the eyes below him, that brooded, stared. + +"I can't bear it to stand by and see you go under, when there's help +close. You said that if you could believe that they were living, that +you would have them again, you would be perfectly happy no matter how +many years you must wait. They are living as sure as I am here, and as +sure as Jack was here, and Jack's mother. They are living still. Perhaps +they're close to you now. You've bound a bandage over your eyes, you've +covered the vision of your spirit, so that you can't see; but that +doesn't make nothingness of God's world. It's there--here--close, +maybe. A more real world than this--this little thing." With a boyish +gesture he thrust behind him the universe. "What do we know about the +earth, except effects upon our consciousness? It's all a matter of +inference--you know that better than I. The thing we do know beyond +doubt is that we are each of us a something that suffers and is happy. +How is that something the same as the body--the body that gets old +and dies--how can it be? You can't change thought into matter--not +conceivably--everybody acknowledges that. Why should the thinking part +die then, because the material part dies? When the organ is broken is +the organist dead? The body is the hull, the covering, and when it has +grown useless it will fall away and the live seed in it will stand free +to sunlight and air--just at the beginning of life, as a plant is when +it breaks through earth in the spring. It's the seed in the ground, +and it's the flower in the sunlight, but it's the same thing--the same +life--it is--it _is_." The boy's intensity of conviction shot like +a flame across the quiet room. + +"It is the same thing with us too. The same spirit-substance underlies +both worlds and there is no separation in space, only in view-point. +Life goes on--it's just transfigured. It's as if a bandage should be +lifted from our eyes and we should suddenly see things in whose presence +we had been always." + +The rushing, eager voice stopped. He bent and laid his hand on the older +man's and stared at his face, half hidden now in the shadows of the +lowering fire. There was no response. The heavy head did not lift and +the attitude was unstirred, hopeless. As if struck by a blow he sprang +erect and his fingers shut hard. He spoke as if to himself, brokenly. + +"He does not believe--a single word--I say. I can't help him--I +_can't_ help him." + +Suddenly the clinched fists flung out as if of a power not their own, +and his voice rang across the room. + +"God!" The word shot from him as if a thunderbolt fell with it. "God! +Lift the bandage!" + +A log fell with a crash into the fire; great battling shadows blurred +all the air; he was gone. + +The man, startled, drew up his bent shoulders, and pushed back a lock of +gray hair and stared about, shaking, bewildered. The ringing voice, the +word that had flashed as if out of a larger atmosphere--the place was +yet full of these, and the shock of it added a keenness to his misery. +His figure swung sideways; he fell on the cushions of the sofa and his +arms stretched across them, his gray head lying heedless; sobs that tore +roots came painfully; it was the last depth. Out of it, without his +volition, he spoke aloud. + +"God, God, God!" his voice said, not prayerfully, but repeating the +sound that had shocked his torture. The word wailed, mocked, reproached, +defied--and yet it was a prayer. Out of a soul in mortal stress that +word comes sometimes driven by a force of the spirit like the force of +the lungs fighting for breath--and it is a prayer. + +"God, God, God!" the broken voice repeated, and sobs cut the words. And +again. Over and over, and again the sobbing broke it. + +As suddenly as if a knife had stopped the life inside the body, all +sound stopped. A movement shook the man as he lay face down, arms +stretched. Then for a minute, two minutes, he was quiet, with a quiet +that meant muscles stretched, nerves alert. Slowly, slowly the tightened +muscles of the arms pushed the shoulders backward and upward; the head +lifted; the face turned outward, and if an observer had been there he +might have seen by the glow of the firelight that the features wet, +distorted, wore, more than all at this moment, a look of amazement. +Slowly, slowly, moving as if afraid to disturb something--a dream--a +presence--the man sat erect as he had been sitting before, only that the +rigidity was in some way gone. He sat alert, his eyes wide, filled with +astonishment, gazing before him eagerly--a look different from the dull +stare of an hour ago by the difference between hope and despair. His +hands caught at the stuff of the divan on either side and clutched it. + +All the time the look of his face changed; all the time, not at once, +but by fast, startling degrees, the gray misery which had bound eyes and +mouth and brow in iron dropped as if a cover were being torn off and a +light set free. Amazement, doubting, incredulous came first, and with +that eagerness, trembling and afraid. And then hope--and then the fear +to hope. And hunger. He bent forward, his eyes peered into the quiet +emptiness, his fingers gripped the cloth as if to anchor him to a +wonder, to an unbelievable something; his body leaned--to something--and +his face now was the face of a starved man, of a man dying from thirst, +who sees food, water, salvation. + +And his face changed; a quality incredible was coming into it--joy. He +was transformed. Lines softened by magic; color came, and light in the +eyes; the first unbelief, the amazement, shifted surely, swiftly, and in +a flash the whole man shone, shook with rapture. He threw out before him +his arms, reaching, clasping, and from his radiant look the arms might +have held all happiness. + +A minute he stayed so with his hands stretched out, with face glowing, +then slowly, his eyes straining as if perhaps they followed a vision +which faded from them--slowly his arms fell and the expectancy went from +his look. Yet not the light, not the joy. His body quivered; his breath +came unevenly, as of one just gone through a crisis; every sense seemed +still alive to catch a faintest note of something exquisite which +vanished; and with that the spell, rapidly as it had come, was gone. +And the man sat there quiet, as he had sat an hour before, and the face +which had been leaden was brilliant. He stirred and glanced about the +room as if trying to adjust himself, and his eyes smiled as they rested +on the familiar objects, as if for love of them, for pleasure in them. +One might have said that this man had been given back at a blow youth +and happiness. Movement seemed beyond him yet--he was yet dazed with the +newness of a marvel--but he turned his head and saw the fire and at that +put out his hand to it as if to a friend. + +The electric bell burred softly again through the house, and the man +heard it, and his eyes rested inquiringly on the door of the library. In +a moment another man stood there, of his own age, iron-gray, +strong-featured. + +"Dick told me I might come," he said. "Shall I trouble you? May I stay +with you awhile?" + +The judge put out his hand friendlily, a little vaguely, much as he had +put it out to the fire. "Surely," he said, and the newcomer was all at +once aware of his look. He started. + +"You're not well," he said. "You must take something--whiskey--Miller----" + +The butler moved in the room making lights here and there, and he came +quickly. + +"No," the judge said. "I don't want anything--I don't need anything. +It's not as you think. I'll tell you about it." + +Miller was gone; Dick's father waited, his gaze fixed on the judge's +face anxiously, and for moments no word was spoken. The judge gazed into +the fire with the rapt, smiling look which had so startled his +brother-in-law. At length: + +"I don't know how to tell you," he said. "There seem no words. Something +has happened, yet it's difficult to explain." + +"Something happened?" the other repeated, bewildered but guarded. "I +don't understand. Has some one been here? Is it about--the trial?" + +"No." A slight spasm twisted the smiling lines of the man's mouth, but +it was gone and the mouth smiled still. + +A horror-struck expression gleamed for a second from the anxious eyes of +the brother-in-law, but he controlled it quickly. He spoke gently. "Tell +me about it--it will do you good to talk." + +The judge turned from the fire, and at sight of his flushed cheeks and +lighted eyes the other shrank back, and the judge saw it. "You needn't +be alarmed," he said quietly. "Nothing is wrong with me. But something +has happened, as I told you, and everything--is changed." His eyes +lifted as he spoke and strayed about the room as if considering a change +which had come also to the accustomed setting. + +A shock of pity flashed from the other, and was mastered at once. "Can +you tell me what has happened?" he urged. The judge, his face bright +with a brightness that was dreadful to the man who watched him, held his +hand to the fire, turning it about as if enjoying the warmth. The other +shivered. There was silence for a minute. The judge broke it, speaking +thoughtfully: + +"Suppose you had been born blind, Ned," he began, "and no one had ever +given you a hint of the sense of vision, and your imagination had never +presented such a power to your mind. Can you suppose that?" + +"I think so--yes," the brother-in-law answered, with careful gentleness, +watching always the illumined countenance. "Yes, I can suppose it." + +"Then fancy if you will that all at once sight came, and the world +flashed before you. Do you think you'd be able to describe such an +experience?" + +The voice was normal, reflective. Many a time the two had talked +together of such things in this very room, and the naturalness of the +scene, and of the judge's manner, made the brother-in-law for a second +forget the tragedy in which they were living. + +"Why, of course," he answered. "If one had never heard of such a power +one's vocabulary wouldn't take in the words to describe it." + +"Exactly," the judge agreed. "That's the point I'm making. Perhaps now I +may tell you what it is that has happened. Or rather, I may make you +understand how a definite and concrete event has come to pass, which I +can't tell you." + +Alarm suddenly expressed itself beyond control in the brother-in-law's +face. "John, what do you mean? Do you see that you distress me? Can't +you tell clearly if some one has been here--what it is, in plain +English, that has happened?" + +The judge turned his dreamy, bright look toward the frightened man. "I +do see--I do see," he brought out affectionately. "I'll try to tell, as +you say, in plain English. But it is like the case I put--it is a +question of lack of vocabulary. A remarkable experience has occurred in +this room within an hour. I can no more describe it than the man born +blind could describe sight. I can only call it by one name, which may +startle you. A revelation." + +"A revelation!" the tone expressed incredulity, scarcely veiled scorn. + +The judge's brilliant gaze rested undisturbed on the speaker. "I +understand--none better. A day ago, two hours ago, I should have +answered in that tone. We have been trained in the same school, and have +thought alike. Dick was here a while ago and said things--you know what +Dick would say. You know how you and I have been sorry for the lad--been +indulgent to him--with his keen, broad mind and that inspired +self-forgetfulness of his--how we've been sorry to have such qualities +wasted on a parson, a religion machine. We've thought he'd come around +in time, that he was too large a personality to be tied to a treadmill. +We've thought that all along, haven't we? Well, Dick was here, and out +of the hell where I was I thought that again. When he talked I thought +in a way--for I couldn't think much--that after a consistent voyage of +agnosticism, I wouldn't be whipped into snivelling belief at the end, by +shipwreck. I would at least go down without surrendering. In a dim way I +thought that. And all that I thought then, and have thought through my +life, is nothing. Reasoning doesn't weigh against experience. Dick is +right." + +The other man sat before him, bent forward, his hands on his knees, +listening, dazed. There was a quality in the speaker's tone which made +it necessary to take his words seriously. Yet--the other sighed and +relaxed a bit as he waited, watched. The calm voice went on. + +"The largest event of my life has happened in the last hour, in this +room. It was this way. When Dick went out I--went utterly to pieces. +It was the farthest depth. Out of it I called on God, not knowing what +I did. And he answered. That's what happened. As if--as if a bandage +had been lifted from my eyes, I was--I was in the presence of +things--indescribable. There was no change, only that where I was blind +before I now saw. I don't mean vision. I haven't words to explain what +I mean. But a world was about me as real as this; it had perhaps always +been there; in that moment I was first aware of it. I knew, as if a door +had been opened, what heaven means--a condition of being. And I knew +another thing more personal--that, without question, it was right with +those I thought I had lost and that the horror which seemed blackest +I have no need to dread. I cannot say that I saw them or heard or +touched them, but I was with them. I understand, but I can't make you +understand. I told Dick an hour ago that if I could believe they were +living, that I should ever have them again, I should be perfectly happy. +That's true now. I believe it, and I am--perfectly happy." + +The listener groaned uncontrollably. + +"I know your thought," the judge answered the sound, and his eyes were +like lamps as he turned them toward the man. "But you're wrong--my mind +is not unhinged. You'll see. After what I've gone through, after facing +eternity without hope, what are mere years? I can wait. I know. I +am--perfectly happy." + +Then the man who listened rose from his chair and came and put a hand +gently on the shoulder of the judge, looking down at him gravely. "I +don't understand you very well, John," he said, "but I'm glad of +anything--of anything"--his voice went suddenly. "Will you wait for me +here a few minutes? I'm going home and I'll be back. I think I'll spend +the night with you if you don't object." + +"Object! Wait!" The judge looked up in surprise, and with that he +smiled. "I see. Surely. I'd like to have you here. Yes, I'll certainly +wait." + +Outside in the hall one might have heard the brother-in-law say a low +word or two to Miller as the man helped him on with his coat; then the +front door shut softly, and he was gone, and the judge sat alone, his +head thrown back against his chair, his face luminous. + +The other man swung down the dark street, rushing, agitated. As he came +to the corner an electric light shone full on him and a figure crossing +down toward him halted. + +"Father! I was coming to find you. Something extraordinary has happened. +I was coming to find you." + +"Yes, Dick." The older man waited. + +"I've just left Charley Owen at the house--you remember Charley Owen?" + +"No." + +"Oh, yes, you do--he's been here with--Jack. He was in Jack's class in +college--in Jack's and Ben Armstrong's. He used to go on shooting trips +with them both--often." + +"I remember now." + +"Yes, I knew you would." The young voice rushed on. "He has been away +just now--down in Florida shooting--away from civilization. He got all +his mail for a month in one lump--just now--two days ago. In it was a +letter from Jack and Ben Armstrong, written that night, written +together. Do you see what that means?" + +"What!" The word was not +a question, but an exclamation. +"What--Dick!" + +"Yes--yes. There were newspapers, too, which gave an account of the +trial--the first he'd heard of it--he was away in the Everglades. He +started instantly, and came on here when he had read the papers, and +realized the bearing his letter would have on the trial. He has +travelled day and night. He hoped to get here in time. Jack and Ben +thought he was in New York. They wrote to ask him to go +duck-shooting--with them. And, father--here's the most startling point +of it all." As the man waited, watching his son's face, he groaned +suddenly and made a gesture of despair. + +"Don't, father--don't take it that way. It's good--it's glorious--it +clears Jack. My uncle will be almost happy. But I wouldn't tell him at +once--I'd be careful," he warned the other. + +"What was it--the startling point you spoke of?" + +"Oh--surely--this. The letter to Charley Owen spoke of Jack's new +pistol--that pistol. Jack said they would have target-shooting with it +in camp. They were all crack shots, you know. He said he had bought it +that evening, and that Ben thought well of it. Ben signed the letter +after Jack, and then added a postscript. It clears Jack--it clears him. +Doesn't it, father? But I wouldn't tell my uncle just yet. He's not fit +to take it in for a few hours--don't you think so?" + +"No, I won't tell him--just yet." + +The young man's wide glance concentrated with a flash on his father's +face. "What is it? You speak queerly. You've just come from there. +How is he--how is my uncle?" + +There was a letterbox at the corner, a foot from the older man's +shoulder. He put out his hand and held to the lid a moment before he +answered. His voice was harsh. + +"Your uncle is--perfectly happy," he said. "He's gone mad." + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFTED BANDAGE*** + + +******* This file should be named 15894.txt or 15894.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/8/9/15894 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. 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